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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/12211-0.txt b/12211-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9a43fc4 --- /dev/null +++ b/12211-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,523 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 12211 *** + +ODD CRAFT + +By W.W. Jacobs + + + +A SPIRIT OF AVARICE + + +Mr. John Blows stood listening to the foreman with an air of lofty +disdain. He was a free-born Englishman, and yet he had been summarily +paid off at eleven o'clock in the morning and told that his valuable +services would no longer be required. More than that, the foreman had +passed certain strictures upon his features which, however true they +might be, were quite irrelevant to the fact that Mr. Blows had been +discovered slumbering in a shed when he should have been laying bricks. + +[Illustration: "Mr. John Blows stood listening to the foreman with an air +of lofty disdain."] + +"Take your ugly face off these 'ere works," said the foreman; "take it +'ome and bury it in the back-yard. Anybody'll be glad to lend you a +spade." + +Mr. Blows, in a somewhat fluent reply, reflected severely on the +foreman's immediate ancestors, and the strange lack of good-feeling and +public spirit they had exhibited by allowing him to grow up. + +"Take it 'ome and bury it," said the foreman again. "Not under any +plants you've got a liking for." + +"I suppose," said Mr. Blows, still referring to his foe's parents, and +now endeavouring to make excuses for them--"I s'pose they was so pleased, +and so surprised when they found that you was a 'uman being, that they +didn't mind anything else." + +He walked off with his head in the air, and the other men, who had +partially suspended work to listen, resumed their labours. A modest pint +at the Rising Sun revived his drooping spirits, and he walked home +thinking of several things which he might have said to the foreman if he +had only thought of them in time. + +He paused at the open door of his house and, looking in, sniffed at the +smell of mottled soap and dirty water which pervaded it. The stairs were +wet, and a pail stood in the narrow passage. From the kitchen came the +sounds of crying children and a scolding mother. Master Joseph Henry +Blows, aged three, was "holding his breath," and the family were all +aghast at the length of his performance. He re-covered it as his father +entered the room, and drowned, without distressing himself, the impotent +efforts of the others. Mrs. Blows turned upon her husband a look of hot +inquiry. + +"I've got the chuck," he said, surlily. + +"What, again?" said the unfortunate woman. "Yes, again," repeated her +husband. + +Mrs. Blows turned away, and dropping into a chair threw her apron over +her head and burst into discordant weeping. Two little Blows, who had +ceased their outcries, resumed them again from sheer sympathy. + +"Stop it," yelled the indignant Mr. Blows; "stop it at once; d'ye hear?" + +"I wish I'd never seen you," sobbed his wife from behind her apron. "Of +all the lazy, idle, drunken, good-for-nothing----" + +"Go on," said Mr. Blows, grimly. + +"You're more trouble than you're worth," declared Mrs. Blows. "Look at +your father, my dears," she continued, taking the apron away from her +face; "take a good look at him, and mind you don't grow up like it." + +Mr. Blows met the combined gaze of his innocent offspring with a dark +scowl, and then fell to moodily walking up and down the passage until he +fell over the pail. At that his mood changed, and, turning fiercely, he +kicked that useful article up and down the passage until he was tired. + +"I've 'ad enough of it," he muttered. He stopped at the kitchen-door +and, putting his hand in his pocket, threw a handful of change on to the +floor and swung out of the house. + +Another pint of beer confirmed him in his resolution. He would go far +away and make a fresh start in the world. The morning was bright and the +air fresh, and a pleasant sense of freedom and adventure possessed his +soul as he walked. At a swinging pace he soon left Gravelton behind him, +and, coming to the river, sat down to smoke a final pipe before turning +his back forever on a town which had treated him so badly. + +The river murmured agreeably and the rushes stirred softly in the breeze; +Mr. Blows, who could fall asleep on an upturned pail, succumbed to the +influence at once; the pipe dropped from his mouth and he snored +peacefully. + +He was awakened by a choking scream, and, starting up hastily, looked +about for the cause. Then in the water he saw the little white face of +Billy Clements, and wading in up to his middle he reached out and, +catching the child by the hair, drew him to the bank and set him on his +feet. Still screaming with terror, Billy threw up some of the water he +had swallowed, and without turning his head made off in the direction of +home, calling piteously upon his mother. + +Mr. Blows, shivering on the bank, watched him out of sight, and, missing +his cap, was just in time to see that friend of several seasons slowly +sinking in the middle of the river. He squeezed the water from his +trousers and, crossing the bridge, set off across the meadows. + + +His self-imposed term of bachelorhood lasted just three months, at the +end of which time he made up his mind to enact the part of the generous +husband and forgive his wife everything. He would not go into details, +but issue one big, magnanimous pardon. + +Full of these lofty ideas he set off in the direction of home again. It +was a three-days' tramp, and the evening of the third day saw him but a +bare two miles from home. He clambered up the bank at the side of the +road and, sprawling at his ease, smoked quietly in the moonlight. + +A waggon piled up with straw came jolting and creaking toward him. The +driver sat dozing on the shafts, and Mr. Blows smiled pleasantly as he +recognised the first face of a friend he had seen for three months. He +thrust his pipe in his pocket and, rising to his feet, clambered on to +the back of the waggon, and lying face downward on the straw peered down +at the unconscious driver below. + +"I'll give old Joe a surprise," he said to himself. "He'll be the first +to welcome me back." + +"Joe," he said, softly. "'Ow goes it, old pal?" + +Mr. Joe Carter, still dozing, opened his eyes at the sound of his name +and looked round; then, coming to the conclusion that he had been +dreaming, closed them again. + +"I'm a-looking at you, Joe," said Mr. Blows, waggishly. "I can see you." + +Mr. Carter looked up sharply and, catching sight of the grinning features +of Mr. Blows protruding over the edge of the straw, threw up his arms +with a piercing shriek and fell off the shafts on to the road. The +astounded Mr. Blows, raising himself on his hands, saw him pick himself +up and, giving vent to a series of fearsome yelps, run clumsily back +along the road. + +"Joe!" shouted Mr. Blows. "J-o-o-oE!" + +[Illustration: "'Joe!' shouted Mr. Blows. 'J-o-o-OE!'"] + +Mr. Carter put his hands to his ears and ran on blindly, while his +friend, sitting on the top of the straw, regarded his proceedings with +mixed feelings of surprise and indignation. + +"It can't be that tanner 'e owes me," he mused, "and yet I don't know +what else it can be. I never see a man so jumpy." + +He continued to speculate while the old horse, undisturbed by the +driver's absence, placidly continued its journey. A mile farther, +however, he got down to take the short cut by the fields. + +"If Joe can't look after his 'orse and cart," he said, primly, as he +watched it along the road, "it's not my business." + +The footpath was not much used at that time of night, and he only met one +man. They were in the shadow of the trees which fringed the new cemetery +as they passed, and both peered. The stranger was satisfied first and, +to Mr. Blows's growing indignation, first gave a leap backward which +would not have disgraced an acrobat, and then made off across the field +with hideous outcries. + +"If I get 'old of some of you," said the offended Mr. Blows, "I'll give +you something to holler for." + +He pursued his way grumbling, and insensibly slackened his pace as he +drew near home. A remnant of conscience which had stuck to him without +encouragement for thirty-five years persisted in suggesting that he had +behaved badly. It also made a few ill-bred inquiries as to how his wife +and children had subsisted for the last three months. He stood outside +the house for a short space, and then, opening the door softly, walked +in. + +The kitchen-door stood open, and his wife in a black dress sat sewing by +the light of a smoky lamp. She looked up as she heard his footsteps, and +then, without a word, slid from the chair full length to the floor. + +"Go on," said Mr. Blows, bitterly; "keep it up. Don't mind me." + +Mrs. Blows paid no heed; her face was white and her eyes were closed. +Her husband, with a dawning perception of the state of affairs, drew a +mug of water from the tap and flung it over her. She opened her eyes and +gave a faint scream, and then, scrambling to her feet, tottered toward +him and sobbed on his breast. + +"There, there," said Mr. Blows. "Don't take on; I forgive you." + +"Oh, John," said his wife, sobbing convulsively, "I thought you was dead. +I thought you was dead. It's only a fortnight ago since we buried you!" + +"Buried me?" said the startled Mr. Blows. "Buried me?" + +"I shall wake up and find I'm dreaming," wailed Mrs. Blows; "I know I +shall. I'm always dreaming that you're not dead. Night before last I +dreamt that you was alive, and I woke up sobbing as if my 'art would +break." + +"Sobbing?" said Mr. Blows, with a scowl. "For joy, John," explained his +wife. + +Mr. Blows was about to ask for a further explanation of the mystery when +he stopped, and regarded with much interest a fair-sized cask which stood +in one corner. + +"A cask o' beer," he said, staring, as he took a glass from the dresser +and crossed over to it. "You don't seem to 'ave taken much 'arm during +my--my going after work." + +"We 'ad it for the funeral, John," said his wife; "leastways, we 'ad two; +this is the second." + +Mr. Blows, who had filled the glass, set it down on the table untasted; +things seemed a trifle uncanny. + +"Go on," said Mrs. Blows; "you've got more right to it than anybody else. +Fancy 'aving you here drinking up the beer for your own funeral." + +"I don't understand what you're a-driving at," retorted Mr. Blows, +drinking somewhat gingerly from the glass. 'Ow could there be a funeral +without me?" + +"It's all a mistake," said the overjoyed Mrs. Blows; "we must have buried +somebody else. But such a funeral, John; you would ha' been proud if you +could ha' seen it. All Gravelton followed, nearly. There was the boys' +drum and fife band, and the Ancient Order of Camels, what you used to +belong to, turned out with their brass band and banners--all the people +marching four abreast and sometimes five." + +Mr. Blows's face softened; he had no idea that he had established himself +so firmly in the affections of his fellow-townsmen. + +"Four mourning carriages," continued his wife, "and the--the hearse, all +covered in flowers so that you couldn't see it 'ardly. One wreath cost +two pounds." + +Mr. Blows endeavoured to conceal his gratification beneath a mask of +surliness. "Waste o' money," he growled, and stooping to the cask drew +himself an-other glass of beer. + +"Some o' the gentry sent their carriages to follow," said Mrs. Blows, +sitting down and clasping her hands in her lap. + +"I know one or two that 'ad a liking for me," said Mr. Blows, almost +blushing. + +"And to think that it's all a mistake," continued his wife. "But I +thought it was you; it was dressed like you, and your cap was found near +it." + +"H'm," said Mr. Blows; "a pretty mess you've been and made of it. Here's +people been giving two pounds for wreaths and turning up with brass bands +and banners because they thought it was me, and it's all been wasted." + +"It wasn't my fault," said his wife. "Little Billy Clements came running +'ome the day you went away and said 'e'd fallen in the water, and you'd +gone in and pulled 'im out. He said 'e thought you was drownded, and +when you didn't come 'ome I naturally thought so too. What else could I +think?" + +Mr. Blows coughed, and holding his glass up to the light regarded it with +a preoccupied air. + +"They dragged the river," resumed his wife, "and found the cap, but they +didn't find the body till nine weeks afterward. There was a inquest at +the Peal o' Bells, and I identified you, and all that grand funeral was +because they thought you'd lost your life saving little Billy. They said +you was a hero." + +[Illustration: "'They dragged the river,' resumed his wife, 'and found +the cap.'"] + +"You've made a nice mess of it," repeated Mr. Blows. + +"The rector preached the sermon," continued his wife; "a beautiful sermon +it was, too. I wish you'd been there to hear it; I should 'ave enjoyed +it ever so much better. He said that nobody was more surprised than what +'e was at your doing such a thing, and that it only showed 'ow little we +knowed our fellow-creatures. He said that it proved there was good in +all of us if we only gave it a chance to come out." + +Mr. Blows eyed her suspiciously, but she sat thinking and staring at the +floor. + +"I s'pose we shall have to give the money back now," she said, at last. + +"Money!" said the other; "what money?" + +"Money that was collected for us," replied his wife. "One 'undered and +eighty-three pounds seven shillings and fourpence." + +Mr. Blows took a long breath. "Ow much?" he said, faintly; "say it +agin." + +His wife obeyed. + +"Show it to me," said the other, in trembling tones; "let's 'ave a look +at it. Let's 'old some of it." + +"I can't," was the reply; "there's a committee of the Camels took charge +of it, and they pay my rent and allow me ten shillings a week. Now I +s'pose it'll have to be given back?" + +"Don't you talk nonsense," said Mr. Blows, violently. "You go to them +interfering Camels and say you want your money--all of it. Say you're +going to Australia. Say it was my last dying wish." + +Mrs. Blows puckered her brow. + +"I'll keep quiet upstairs till you've got it," continued her husband, +rapidly. "There was only two men saw me, and I can see now that they +thought I was my own ghost. Send the kids off to your mother for a few +days." + +His wife sent them off next morning, and a little later was able to tell +him that his surmise as to his friends' mistake was correct. All +Gravelton was thrilled by the news that the spiritual part of Mr. John +Blows was walking the earth, and much exercised as to his reasons for so +doing. + +"Seemed such a monkey trick for 'im to do," complained Mr. Carter, to the +listening circle at the Peal o' Bells. "'I'm a-looking at you, Joe,' he +ses, and he waggled his 'ead as if it was made of india-rubber." + +"He'd got something on 'is mind what he wanted to tell you," said a +listener, severely; "you ought to 'ave stopped, Joe, and asked 'im what +it was." + +"I think I see myself," said the shivering Mr. Carter. "I think I see +myself." + +"Then he wouldn't 'ave troubled you any more," said the other. + +Mr. Carter turned pale and eyed him fixedly. "P'r'aps it was only a +death-warning," said another man. + +"What d'ye mean, 'only a death-warning'?" demanded the unfortunate Mr. +Carter; "you don't know what you're talking about." + +"I 'ad an uncle o' mine see a ghost once," said a third man, anxious to +relieve the tension. + +"And what 'appened?" inquired the first speaker. "I'll tell you after +Joe's gone," said the other, with rare consideration. + +Mr. Carter called for some more beer and told the barmaid to put a little +gin in it. In a pitiable state of "nerves" he sat at the extreme end of +a bench, and felt that he was an object of unwholesome interest to his +acquaintances. The finishing touch was put to his discomfiture when a +well-meaning friend in a vague and disjointed way advised him to give up +drink, swearing, and any other bad habits which he might have contracted. + +[Illustration: "In a pitiable state of 'nerves' he sat at the extreme end +of a bench."] + +The committee of the Ancient Order of Camels took the news calmly, and +classed it with pink rats and other abnormalities. In reply to Mrs. +Blows's request for the capital sum, they expressed astonishment that she +could be willing to tear herself away from the hero's grave, and spoke of +the pain which such an act on her part would cause him in the event of +his being conscious of it. In order to show that they were reasonable +men, they allowed her an extra shilling that week. + +The hero threw the dole on the bedroom floor, and in a speech bristling +with personalities, consigned the committee to perdition. The +confinement was beginning to tell upon him, and two nights afterward, +just before midnight, he slipped out for a breath of fresh air. + +It was a clear night, and all Gravelton with one exception, appeared to +have gone to bed. The exception was Police-constable Collins, and he, +after tracking the skulking figure of Mr. Blows and finally bringing it +to bay in a doorway, kept his for a fort-night. As a sensible man, Mr. +Blows took no credit to himself for the circumstance, but a natural +feeling of satisfaction at the discomfiture of a member of a force for +which he had long entertained a strong objection could not be denied. + +Gravelton debated this new appearance with bated breath, and even the +purblind committee of the Camels had to alter their views. They no +longer denied the supernatural nature of the manifestations, but, with +a strange misunderstanding of Mr. Blows's desires, attributed his +restlessness to dissatisfaction with the projected tombstone, and, having +plenty of funds, amended their order for a plain stone at ten guineas to +one in pink marble at twenty-five. + +"That there committee," said Mr. Blows to his wife, in a trembling voice, +as he heard of the alteration--"that there committee seem to think that +they can play about with my money as they like. You go and tell 'em you +won't 'ave it. And say you've given up the idea of going to Australia +and you want the money to open a shop with. We'll take a little pub +somewhere." + +Mrs. Blows went, and returned in tears, and for two entire days her +husband, a prey to gloom, sat trying to evolve fresh and original ideas +for the possession of the money. On the evening of the second day he +became low-spirited, and going down to the kitchen took a glass from the +dresser and sat down by the beer-cask. + +Almost insensibly he began to take a brighter view of things. It was +Saturday night and his wife was out. He shook his head indulgently as he +thought of her, and began to realise how foolish he had been to entrust +such a delicate mission to a woman. The Ancient Order of Camels wanted a +man to talk to them--a man who knew the world and could assail them with +unanswerable arguments. Having applied every known test to make sure +that the cask was empty, he took his cap from a nail and sallied out into +the street. + +Old Mrs. Martin, a neighbour, saw him first, and announced the fact with +a scream that brought a dozen people round her. Bereft of speech, she +mouthed dumbly at Mr. Blows. + +"I ain't touch--touched her," said that gentleman, earnestly. "I ain't-- +been near 'er." + +The crowd regarded him wild-eyed. Fresh members came running up, and +pushing for a front place fell back hastily on the main body and watched +breathlessly. Mr. Blows, disquieted by their silence, renewed his +protestations. + +"I was coming 'long----" + +He broke off suddenly and, turning round, gazed with some heat at a +gentleman who was endeavouring to ascertain whether an umbrella would +pass through him. The investigator backed hastily into the crowd again, +and a faint murmur of surprise arose as the indignant Mr. Blows rubbed +the place. + +"He's alive, I tell you," said a voice. "What cheer, Jack!" + +"Ullo, Bill," said Mr. Blows, genially. + +Bill came forward cautiously, and, first shaking hands, satisfied himself +by various little taps and prods that his friend was really alive. + +"It's all right," he shouted; "come and feel." + +At least fifty hands accepted the invitation, and, ignoring the threats +and entreaties of Mr. Blows, who was a highly ticklish subject, wandered +briskly over his anatomy. He broke free at last and, supported by Bill +and a friend, set off for the Peal o' Bells. + +By the time he arrived there his following had swollen to immense +proportions. Windows were thrown up, and people standing on their +doorsteps shouted inquiries. Congratulations met him on all sides, and +the joy of Mr. Joseph Carter was so great that Mr. Blows was quite +affected. + +In high feather at the attention he was receiving, Mr. Blows pushed his +way through the idlers at the door and ascended the short flight of +stairs which led to the room where the members of the Ancient Order of +Camels were holding their lodge. The crowd swarmed up after him. + +The door was locked, but in response to his knocking it opened a couple +of inches, and a gruff voice demanded his business. Then, before he +could give it, the doorkeeper reeled back into the room, and Mr. Blows +with a large following pushed his way in. + +The president and his officers, who were sitting in state behind a long +table at the end of the room, started to their feet with mingled cries of +indignation and dismay at the intrusion. Mr. Blows, conscious of the +strength of his position, walked up to them. + +[Illustration: "Mr. Blows, conscious of the strength of his position, +walked up to them."] + +"Mr. Blows!" gasped the president. + +"Ah, you didn't expec' see me," said Mr. Blows, with a scornful laugh +"They're trying do me, do me out o' my lill bit o' money, Bill." + +"But you ain't got no money," said his bewildered friend. + +Mr. Blows turned and eyed him haughtily; then he confronted the staring +president again. + +"I've come for--my money," he said, impressively-- "one 'under-eighty +pounds." + +"But look 'ere," said the scandalised Bill, tugging at his sleeve; "you +ain't dead, Jack." + +"You don't understan'," said Mr. Blows, impatiently. "They know wharri +mean; one 'undereighty pounds. They want to buy me a tombstone, an' I +don't want it. I want the money. Here, stop it! _Dye hear?_" The words +were wrung from him by the action of the president, who, after eyeing him +doubtfully during his remarks, suddenly prodded him with the butt-end of +one of the property spears which leaned against his chair. The solidity +of Mr. Blows was unmistakable, and with a sudden resumption of dignity +the official seated himself and called for silence. + +"I'm sorry to say there's been a bit of a mistake made," he said, slowly, +"but I'm glad to say that Mr. Blows has come back to support his wife and +family with the sweat of his own brow. Only a pound or two of the money +so kindly subscribed has been spent, and the remainder will be handed +back to the subscribers." + +"Here," said the incensed Mr. Blows, "listen me." + +"Take him away," said the president, with great dignity. "Clear the +room. Strangers outside." + +Two of the members approached Mr. Blows and, placing their hands on his +shoulders, requested him to withdraw. He went at last, the centre of a +dozen panting men, and becoming wedged on the narrow staircase, spoke +fluently on such widely differing subjects as the rights of man and the +shape of the president's nose. + +He finished his remarks in the street, but, becoming aware at last of a +strange lack of sympathy on the part of his audience, he shook off the +arm of the faithful Mr. Carter and stalked moodily home. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Spirit of Avarice, by W.W. 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W. Jacobs: Part 11 +</title> + +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + P { text-indent: 1em; + margin: 15%; + margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; } + PRE { font-family: cursive} + .toc { margin-left: 15%; margin-bottom: 0em;} + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + // --> +</style> + +</head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Spirit of Avarice, by W.W. Jacobs + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Spirit of Avarice + Odd Craft, Part 11. + +Author: W.W. Jacobs + +Release Date: April 30, 2004 [EBook #12211] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: US-ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A SPIRIT OF AVARICE *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="title (42K)" src="title.jpg" height="658" width="479" /> +</center> +<br><br> +<br /><br /> +<h2> + 1909 +</h2> + +<center> +<h3>PART 11.</h3> +</center> + +<br /><br /> +<hr> +<br /><br /> + + +<h2>List of Illustrations</h2> + + + + + + +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-53"> +"Mr. John Blows Stood Listening to the Foreman With an Air +Of Lofty Disdain." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-54"> +"'Joe!' Shouted Mr. Blows. 'j-o-o-oe!'" +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-55"> +"'They Dragged the River,' Resumed his Wife, 'and Found +The Cap.'" +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-56"> +"In a Pitiable State of 'nerves' he Sat at the Extreme End +Of a Bench." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-57"> +"Mr. Blows, Conscious of the Strength Of his Position, +Walked up to Them." +</a></p> + + + + + + + +<br /><br /> +<hr> +<br /><br /> + + + + + + +<a name="2H_4_11"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<h2> + A SPIRIT OF AVARICE +</h2> +<p> + Mr. John Blows stood listening to the foreman with an air of lofty + disdain. He was a free-born Englishman, and yet he had been summarily + paid off at eleven o'clock in the morning and told that his valuable + services would no longer be required. More than that, the foreman had + passed certain strictures upon his features which, however true they + might be, were quite irrelevant to the fact that Mr. Blows had been + discovered slumbering in a shed when he should have been laying bricks. +</p> +<a name="image-53"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="053.jpg" height="503" width="586" +alt="'mr. John Blows Stood Listening to the Foreman With an Air +Of Lofty Disdain.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "Take your ugly face off these 'ere works," said the foreman; "take it + 'ome and bury it in the back-yard. Anybody'll be glad to lend you a + spade." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows, in a somewhat fluent reply, reflected severely on the + foreman's immediate ancestors, and the strange lack of good-feeling and + public spirit they had exhibited by allowing him to grow up. +</p> +<p> + "Take it 'ome and bury it," said the foreman again. "Not under any + plants you've got a liking for." +</p> +<p> + "I suppose," said Mr. Blows, still referring to his foe's parents, and + now endeavouring to make excuses for them—"I s'pose they was so pleased, + and so surprised when they found that you was a 'uman being, that they + didn't mind anything else." +</p> +<p> + He walked off with his head in the air, and the other men, who had + partially suspended work to listen, resumed their labours. A modest pint + at the Rising Sun revived his drooping spirits, and he walked home + thinking of several things which he might have said to the foreman if he + had only thought of them in time. +</p> +<p> + He paused at the open door of his house and, looking in, sniffed at the + smell of mottled soap and dirty water which pervaded it. The stairs were + wet, and a pail stood in the narrow passage. From the kitchen came the + sounds of crying children and a scolding mother. Master Joseph Henry + Blows, aged three, was "holding his breath," and the family were all + aghast at the length of his performance. He re-covered it as his father + entered the room, and drowned, without distressing himself, the impotent + efforts of the others. Mrs. Blows turned upon her husband a look of hot + inquiry. +</p> +<p> + "I've got the chuck," he said, surlily. +</p> +<p> + "What, again?" said the unfortunate woman. "Yes, again," repeated her + husband. +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Blows turned away, and dropping into a chair threw her apron over + her head and burst into discordant weeping. Two little Blows, who had + ceased their outcries, resumed them again from sheer sympathy. +</p> +<p> + "Stop it," yelled the indignant Mr. Blows; "stop it at once; d'ye hear?" +</p> +<p> + "I wish I'd never seen you," sobbed his wife from behind her apron. "Of + all the lazy, idle, drunken, good-for-nothing——" +</p> +<p> + "Go on," said Mr. Blows, grimly. +</p> +<p> + "You're more trouble than you're worth," declared Mrs. Blows. "Look at + your father, my dears," she continued, taking the apron away from her + face; "take a good look at him, and mind you don't grow up like it." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows met the combined gaze of his innocent offspring with a dark + scowl, and then fell to moodily walking up and down the passage until he + fell over the pail. At that his mood changed, and, turning fiercely, he + kicked that useful article up and down the passage until he was tired. +</p> +<p> + "I've 'ad enough of it," he muttered. He stopped at the kitchen-door + and, putting his hand in his pocket, threw a handful of change on to the + floor and swung out of the house. +</p> +<p> + Another pint of beer confirmed him in his resolution. He would go far + away and make a fresh start in the world. The morning was bright and the + air fresh, and a pleasant sense of freedom and adventure possessed his + soul as he walked. At a swinging pace he soon left Gravelton behind him, + and, coming to the river, sat down to smoke a final pipe before turning + his back forever on a town which had treated him so badly. +</p> +<p> + The river murmured agreeably and the rushes stirred softly in the breeze; + Mr. Blows, who could fall asleep on an upturned pail, succumbed to the + influence at once; the pipe dropped from his mouth and he snored + peacefully. +</p> +<p> + He was awakened by a choking scream, and, starting up hastily, looked + about for the cause. Then in the water he saw the little white face of + Billy Clements, and wading in up to his middle he reached out and, + catching the child by the hair, drew him to the bank and set him on his + feet. Still screaming with terror, Billy threw up some of the water he + had swallowed, and without turning his head made off in the direction of + home, calling piteously upon his mother. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows, shivering on the bank, watched him out of sight, and, missing + his cap, was just in time to see that friend of several seasons slowly + sinking in the middle of the river. He squeezed the water from his + trousers and, crossing the bridge, set off across the meadows. +</p> +<p> + His self-imposed term of bachelorhood lasted just three months, at the + end of which time he made up his mind to enact the part of the generous + husband and forgive his wife everything. He would not go into details, + but issue one big, magnanimous pardon. +</p> +<p> + Full of these lofty ideas he set off in the direction of home again. It + was a three-days' tramp, and the evening of the third day saw him but a + bare two miles from home. He clambered up the bank at the side of the + road and, sprawling at his ease, smoked quietly in the moonlight. +</p> +<p> + A waggon piled up with straw came jolting and creaking toward him. The + driver sat dozing on the shafts, and Mr. Blows smiled pleasantly as he + recognised the first face of a friend he had seen for three months. He + thrust his pipe in his pocket and, rising to his feet, clambered on to + the back of the waggon, and lying face downward on the straw peered down + at the unconscious driver below. +</p> +<p> + "I'll give old Joe a surprise," he said to himself. "He'll be the first + to welcome me back." +</p> +<p> + "Joe," he said, softly. "'Ow goes it, old pal?" +</p> +<p> + Mr. Joe Carter, still dozing, opened his eyes at the sound of his name + and looked round; then, coming to the conclusion that he had been + dreaming, closed them again. +</p> +<p> + "I'm a-looking at you, Joe," said Mr. Blows, waggishly. "I can see you." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Carter looked up sharply and, catching sight of the grinning features + of Mr. Blows protruding over the edge of the straw, threw up his arms + with a piercing shriek and fell off the shafts on to the road. The + astounded Mr. Blows, raising himself on his hands, saw him pick himself + up and, giving vent to a series of fearsome yelps, run clumsily back + along the road. +</p> +<p> + "Joe!" shouted Mr. Blows. "J-o-o-oE!" +</p> +<a name="image-54"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="054.jpg" height="489" width="566" +alt="''joe!' Shouted Mr. Blows. 'j-o-o-oe!'' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + Mr. Carter put his hands to his ears and ran on blindly, while his + friend, sitting on the top of the straw, regarded his proceedings with + mixed feelings of surprise and indignation. +</p> +<p> + "It can't be that tanner 'e owes me," he mused, "and yet I don't know + what else it can be. I never see a man so jumpy." +</p> +<p> + He continued to speculate while the old horse, undisturbed by the + driver's absence, placidly continued its journey. A mile farther, + however, he got down to take the short cut by the fields. +</p> +<p> + "If Joe can't look after his 'orse and cart," he said, primly, as he + watched it along the road, "it's not my business." +</p> +<p> + The footpath was not much used at that time of night, and he only met one + man. They were in the shadow of the trees which fringed the new cemetery + as they passed, and both peered. The stranger was satisfied first and, + to Mr. Blows's growing indignation, first gave a leap backward which + would not have disgraced an acrobat, and then made off across the field + with hideous outcries. +</p> +<p> + "If I get 'old of some of you," said the offended Mr. Blows, "I'll give + you something to holler for." +</p> +<p> + He pursued his way grumbling, and insensibly slackened his pace as he + drew near home. A remnant of conscience which had stuck to him without + encouragement for thirty-five years persisted in suggesting that he had + behaved badly. It also made a few ill-bred inquiries as to how his wife + and children had subsisted for the last three months. He stood outside + the house for a short space, and then, opening the door softly, walked + in. +</p> +<p> + The kitchen-door stood open, and his wife in a black dress sat sewing by + the light of a smoky lamp. She looked up as she heard his footsteps, and + then, without a word, slid from the chair full length to the floor. +</p> +<p> + "Go on," said Mr. Blows, bitterly; "keep it up. Don't mind me." +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Blows paid no heed; her face was white and her eyes were closed. + Her husband, with a dawning perception of the state of affairs, drew a + mug of water from the tap and flung it over her. She opened her eyes and + gave a faint scream, and then, scrambling to her feet, tottered toward + him and sobbed on his breast. +</p> +<p> + "There, there," said Mr. Blows. "Don't take on; I forgive you." +</p> +<p> + "Oh, John," said his wife, sobbing convulsively, "I thought you was dead. + I thought you was dead. It's only a fortnight ago since we buried you!" +</p> +<p> + "Buried me?" said the startled Mr. Blows. "Buried me?" +</p> +<p> + "I shall wake up and find I'm dreaming," wailed Mrs. Blows; "I know I + shall. I'm always dreaming that you're not dead. Night before last I + dreamt that you was alive, and I woke up sobbing as if my 'art would + break." +</p> +<p> + "Sobbing?" said Mr. Blows, with a scowl. "For joy, John," explained his + wife. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows was about to ask for a further explanation of the mystery when + he stopped, and regarded with much interest a fair-sized cask which stood + in one corner. +</p> +<p> + "A cask o' beer," he said, staring, as he took a glass from the dresser + and crossed over to it. "You don't seem to 'ave taken much 'arm during + my—my going after work." +</p> +<p> + "We 'ad it for the funeral, John," said his wife; "leastways, we 'ad two; + this is the second." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows, who had filled the glass, set it down on the table untasted; + things seemed a trifle uncanny. +</p> +<p> + "Go on," said Mrs. Blows; "you've got more right to it than anybody else. + Fancy 'aving you here drinking up the beer for your own funeral." +</p> +<p> + "I don't understand what you're a-driving at," retorted Mr. Blows, + drinking somewhat gingerly from the glass. 'Ow could there be a funeral + without me?" +</p> +<p> + "It's all a mistake," said the overjoyed Mrs. Blows; "we must have buried + somebody else. But such a funeral, John; you would ha' been proud if you + could ha' seen it. All Gravelton followed, nearly. There was the boys' + drum and fife band, and the Ancient Order of Camels, what you used to + belong to, turned out with their brass band and banners—all the people + marching four abreast and sometimes five." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows's face softened; he had no idea that he had established himself + so firmly in the affections of his fellow-townsmen. +</p> +<p> + "Four mourning carriages," continued his wife, "and the—the hearse, all + covered in flowers so that you couldn't see it 'ardly. One wreath cost + two pounds." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows endeavoured to conceal his gratification beneath a mask of + surliness. "Waste o' money," he growled, and stooping to the cask drew + himself an-other glass of beer. +</p> +<p> + "Some o' the gentry sent their carriages to follow," said Mrs. Blows, + sitting down and clasping her hands in her lap. +</p> +<p> + "I know one or two that 'ad a liking for me," said Mr. Blows, almost + blushing. +</p> +<p> + "And to think that it's all a mistake," continued his wife. "But I + thought it was you; it was dressed like you, and your cap was found near + it." +</p> +<p> + "H'm," said Mr. Blows; "a pretty mess you've been and made of it. Here's + people been giving two pounds for wreaths and turning up with brass bands + and banners because they thought it was me, and it's all been wasted." +</p> +<p> + "It wasn't my fault," said his wife. "Little Billy Clements came running + 'ome the day you went away and said 'e'd fallen in the water, and you'd + gone in and pulled 'im out. He said 'e thought you was drownded, and + when you didn't come 'ome I naturally thought so too. What else could I + think?" +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows coughed, and holding his glass up to the light regarded it with + a preoccupied air. +</p> +<p> + "They dragged the river," resumed his wife, "and found the cap, but they + didn't find the body till nine weeks afterward. There was a inquest at + the Peal o' Bells, and I identified you, and all that grand funeral was + because they thought you'd lost your life saving little Billy. They said + you was a hero." +</p> +<a name="image-55"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="055.jpg" height="555" width="552" +alt="''they Dragged the River,' Resumed his Wife, 'and Found +The Cap.'' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "You've made a nice mess of it," repeated Mr. Blows. +</p> +<p> + "The rector preached the sermon," continued his wife; "a beautiful sermon + it was, too. I wish you'd been there to hear it; I should 'ave enjoyed + it ever so much better. He said that nobody was more surprised than what + 'e was at your doing such a thing, and that it only showed 'ow little we + knowed our fellow-creatures. He said that it proved there was good in + all of us if we only gave it a chance to come out." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows eyed her suspiciously, but she sat thinking and staring at the + floor. +</p> +<p> + "I s'pose we shall have to give the money back now," she said, at last. +</p> +<p> + "Money!" said the other; "what money?" +</p> +<p> + "Money that was collected for us," replied his wife. "One 'undered and + eighty-three pounds seven shillings and fourpence." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows took a long breath. "Ow much?" he said, faintly; "say it + agin." +</p> +<p> + His wife obeyed. +</p> +<p> + "Show it to me," said the other, in trembling tones; "let's 'ave a look + at it. Let's 'old some of it." +</p> +<p> + "I can't," was the reply; "there's a committee of the Camels took charge + of it, and they pay my rent and allow me ten shillings a week. Now I + s'pose it'll have to be given back?" +</p> +<p> + "Don't you talk nonsense," said Mr. Blows, violently. "You go to them + interfering Camels and say you want your money—all of it. Say you're + going to Australia. Say it was my last dying wish." +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Blows puckered her brow. +</p> +<p> + "I'll keep quiet upstairs till you've got it," continued her husband, + rapidly. "There was only two men saw me, and I can see now that they + thought I was my own ghost. Send the kids off to your mother for a few + days." +</p> +<p> + His wife sent them off next morning, and a little later was able to tell + him that his surmise as to his friends' mistake was correct. All + Gravelton was thrilled by the news that the spiritual part of Mr. John + Blows was walking the earth, and much exercised as to his reasons for so + doing. +</p> +<p> + "Seemed such a monkey trick for 'im to do," complained Mr. Carter, to the + listening circle at the Peal o' Bells. "'I'm a-looking at you, Joe,' he + ses, and he waggled his 'ead as if it was made of india-rubber." +</p> +<p> + "He'd got something on 'is mind what he wanted to tell you," said a + listener, severely; "you ought to 'ave stopped, Joe, and asked 'im what + it was." +</p> +<p> + "I think I see myself," said the shivering Mr. Carter. "I think I see + myself." +</p> +<p> + "Then he wouldn't 'ave troubled you any more," said the other. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Carter turned pale and eyed him fixedly. "P'r'aps it was only a + death-warning," said another man. +</p> +<p> + "What d'ye mean, 'only a death-warning'?" demanded the unfortunate Mr. + Carter; "you don't know what you're talking about." +</p> +<p> + "I 'ad an uncle o' mine see a ghost once," said a third man, anxious to + relieve the tension. +</p> +<p> + "And what 'appened?" inquired the first speaker. "I'll tell you after + Joe's gone," said the other, with rare consideration. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Carter called for some more beer and told the barmaid to put a little + gin in it. In a pitiable state of "nerves" he sat at the extreme end of + a bench, and felt that he was an object of unwholesome interest to his + acquaintances. The finishing touch was put to his discomfiture when a + well-meaning friend in a vague and disjointed way advised him to give up + drink, swearing, and any other bad habits which he might have contracted. +</p> +<a name="image-56"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="056.jpg" height="513" width="531" +alt="'in a Pitiable State of 'nerves' he Sat at the Extreme End +Of a Bench.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + The committee of the Ancient Order of Camels took the news calmly, and + classed it with pink rats and other abnormalities. In reply to Mrs. + Blows's request for the capital sum, they expressed astonishment that she + could be willing to tear herself away from the hero's grave, and spoke of + the pain which such an act on her part would cause him in the event of + his being conscious of it. In order to show that they were reasonable + men, they allowed her an extra shilling that week. +</p> +<p> + The hero threw the dole on the bedroom floor, and in a speech bristling + with personalities, consigned the committee to perdition. The + confinement was beginning to tell upon him, and two nights afterward, + just before midnight, he slipped out for a breath of fresh air. +</p> +<p> + It was a clear night, and all Gravelton with one exception, appeared to + have gone to bed. The exception was Police-constable Collins, and he, + after tracking the skulking figure of Mr. Blows and finally bringing it + to bay in a doorway, kept his for a fort-night. As a sensible man, Mr. + Blows took no credit to himself for the circumstance, but a natural + feeling of satisfaction at the discomfiture of a member of a force for + which he had long entertained a strong objection could not be denied. +</p> +<p> + Gravelton debated this new appearance with bated breath, and even the + purblind committee of the Camels had to alter their views. They no + longer denied the supernatural nature of the manifestations, but, with + a strange misunderstanding of Mr. Blows's desires, attributed his + restlessness to dissatisfaction with the projected tombstone, and, having + plenty of funds, amended their order for a plain stone at ten guineas to + one in pink marble at twenty-five. +</p> +<p> + "That there committee," said Mr. Blows to his wife, in a trembling voice, + as he heard of the alteration—"that there committee seem to think that + they can play about with my money as they like. You go and tell 'em you + won't 'ave it. And say you've given up the idea of going to Australia + and you want the money to open a shop with. We'll take a little pub + somewhere." +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Blows went, and returned in tears, and for two entire days her + husband, a prey to gloom, sat trying to evolve fresh and original ideas + for the possession of the money. On the evening of the second day he + became low-spirited, and going down to the kitchen took a glass from the + dresser and sat down by the beer-cask. +</p> +<p> + Almost insensibly he began to take a brighter view of things. It was + Saturday night and his wife was out. He shook his head indulgently as he + thought of her, and began to realise how foolish he had been to entrust + such a delicate mission to a woman. The Ancient Order of Camels wanted a + man to talk to them—a man who knew the world and could assail them with + unanswerable arguments. Having applied every known test to make sure + that the cask was empty, he took his cap from a nail and sallied out into + the street. +</p> +<p> + Old Mrs. Martin, a neighbour, saw him first, and announced the fact with + a scream that brought a dozen people round her. Bereft of speech, she + mouthed dumbly at Mr. Blows. +</p> +<p> + "I ain't touch—touched her," said that gentleman, earnestly. "I ain't— + been near 'er." +</p> +<p> + The crowd regarded him wild-eyed. Fresh members came running up, and + pushing for a front place fell back hastily on the main body and watched + breathlessly. Mr. Blows, disquieted by their silence, renewed his + protestations. +</p> +<p> + "I was coming 'long——" +</p> +<p> + He broke off suddenly and, turning round, gazed with some heat at a + gentleman who was endeavouring to ascertain whether an umbrella would + pass through him. The investigator backed hastily into the crowd again, + and a faint murmur of surprise arose as the indignant Mr. Blows rubbed + the place. +</p> +<p> + "He's alive, I tell you," said a voice. "What cheer, Jack!" +</p> +<p> + "Ullo, Bill," said Mr. Blows, genially. +</p> +<p> + Bill came forward cautiously, and, first shaking hands, satisfied himself + by various little taps and prods that his friend was really alive. +</p> +<p> + "It's all right," he shouted; "come and feel." +</p> +<p> + At least fifty hands accepted the invitation, and, ignoring the threats + and entreaties of Mr. Blows, who was a highly ticklish subject, wandered + briskly over his anatomy. He broke free at last and, supported by Bill + and a friend, set off for the Peal o' Bells. +</p> +<p> + By the time he arrived there his following had swollen to immense + proportions. Windows were thrown up, and people standing on their + doorsteps shouted inquiries. Congratulations met him on all sides, and + the joy of Mr. Joseph Carter was so great that Mr. Blows was quite + affected. +</p> +<p> + In high feather at the attention he was receiving, Mr. Blows pushed his + way through the idlers at the door and ascended the short flight of + stairs which led to the room where the members of the Ancient Order of + Camels were holding their lodge. The crowd swarmed up after him. +</p> +<p> + The door was locked, but in response to his knocking it opened a couple + of inches, and a gruff voice demanded his business. Then, before he + could give it, the doorkeeper reeled back into the room, and Mr. Blows + with a large following pushed his way in. +</p> +<p> + The president and his officers, who were sitting in state behind a long + table at the end of the room, started to their feet with mingled cries of + indignation and dismay at the intrusion. Mr. Blows, conscious of the + strength of his position, walked up to them. +</p> +<a name="image-57"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="057.jpg" height="493" width="536" +alt="'mr. Blows, Conscious of the Strength Of his Position, +Walked up to Them.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "Mr. Blows!" gasped the president. +</p> +<p> + "Ah, you didn't expec' see me," said Mr. Blows, with a scornful laugh + "They're trying do me, do me out o' my lill bit o' money, Bill." +</p> +<p> + "But you ain't got no money," said his bewildered friend. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows turned and eyed him haughtily; then he confronted the staring + president again. +</p> +<p> + "I've come for—my money," he said, impressively— "one 'under-eighty + pounds." +</p> +<p> + "But look 'ere," said the scandalised Bill, tugging at his sleeve; "you + ain't dead, Jack." +</p> +<p> + "You don't understan'," said Mr. Blows, impatiently. "They know wharri + mean; one 'undereighty pounds. They want to buy me a tombstone, an' I + don't want it. I want the money. Here, stop it! <i>Dye hear?</i>" The words + were wrung from him by the action of the president, who, after eyeing him + doubtfully during his remarks, suddenly prodded him with the butt-end of + one of the property spears which leaned against his chair. The solidity + of Mr. Blows was unmistakable, and with a sudden resumption of dignity + the official seated himself and called for silence. +</p> +<p> + "I'm sorry to say there's been a bit of a mistake made," he said, slowly, + "but I'm glad to say that Mr. Blows has come back to support his wife and + family with the sweat of his own brow. Only a pound or two of the money + so kindly subscribed has been spent, and the remainder will be handed + back to the subscribers." +</p> +<p> + "Here," said the incensed Mr. Blows, "listen me." +</p> +<p> + "Take him away," said the president, with great dignity. "Clear the + room. Strangers outside." +</p> +<p> + Two of the members approached Mr. Blows and, placing their hands on his + shoulders, requested him to withdraw. He went at last, the centre of a + dozen panting men, and becoming wedged on the narrow staircase, spoke + fluently on such widely differing subjects as the rights of man and the + shape of the president's nose. +</p> +<p> + He finished his remarks in the street, but, becoming aware at last of a + strange lack of sympathy on the part of his audience, he shook off the + arm of the faithful Mr. Carter and stalked moodily home. +</p> + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Spirit of Avarice, by W.W. 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Jacobs + +Release Date: April 30, 2004 [EBook #12211] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A SPIRIT OF AVARICE *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + +ODD CRAFT + +By W.W. Jacobs + + + +A SPIRIT OF AVARICE + + +Mr. John Blows stood listening to the foreman with an air of lofty +disdain. He was a free-born Englishman, and yet he had been summarily +paid off at eleven o'clock in the morning and told that his valuable +services would no longer be required. More than that, the foreman had +passed certain strictures upon his features which, however true they +might be, were quite irrelevant to the fact that Mr. Blows had been +discovered slumbering in a shed when he should have been laying bricks. + +[Illustration: "Mr. John Blows stood listening to the foreman with an air +of lofty disdain."] + +"Take your ugly face off these 'ere works," said the foreman; "take it +'ome and bury it in the back-yard. Anybody'll be glad to lend you a +spade." + +Mr. Blows, in a somewhat fluent reply, reflected severely on the +foreman's immediate ancestors, and the strange lack of good-feeling and +public spirit they had exhibited by allowing him to grow up. + +"Take it 'ome and bury it," said the foreman again. "Not under any +plants you've got a liking for." + +"I suppose," said Mr. Blows, still referring to his foe's parents, and +now endeavouring to make excuses for them--"I s'pose they was so pleased, +and so surprised when they found that you was a 'uman being, that they +didn't mind anything else." + +He walked off with his head in the air, and the other men, who had +partially suspended work to listen, resumed their labours. A modest pint +at the Rising Sun revived his drooping spirits, and he walked home +thinking of several things which he might have said to the foreman if he +had only thought of them in time. + +He paused at the open door of his house and, looking in, sniffed at the +smell of mottled soap and dirty water which pervaded it. The stairs were +wet, and a pail stood in the narrow passage. From the kitchen came the +sounds of crying children and a scolding mother. Master Joseph Henry +Blows, aged three, was "holding his breath," and the family were all +aghast at the length of his performance. He re-covered it as his father +entered the room, and drowned, without distressing himself, the impotent +efforts of the others. Mrs. Blows turned upon her husband a look of hot +inquiry. + +"I've got the chuck," he said, surlily. + +"What, again?" said the unfortunate woman. "Yes, again," repeated her +husband. + +Mrs. Blows turned away, and dropping into a chair threw her apron over +her head and burst into discordant weeping. Two little Blows, who had +ceased their outcries, resumed them again from sheer sympathy. + +"Stop it," yelled the indignant Mr. Blows; "stop it at once; d'ye hear?" + +"I wish I'd never seen you," sobbed his wife from behind her apron. "Of +all the lazy, idle, drunken, good-for-nothing----" + +"Go on," said Mr. Blows, grimly. + +"You're more trouble than you're worth," declared Mrs. Blows. "Look at +your father, my dears," she continued, taking the apron away from her +face; "take a good look at him, and mind you don't grow up like it." + +Mr. Blows met the combined gaze of his innocent offspring with a dark +scowl, and then fell to moodily walking up and down the passage until he +fell over the pail. At that his mood changed, and, turning fiercely, he +kicked that useful article up and down the passage until he was tired. + +"I've 'ad enough of it," he muttered. He stopped at the kitchen-door +and, putting his hand in his pocket, threw a handful of change on to the +floor and swung out of the house. + +Another pint of beer confirmed him in his resolution. He would go far +away and make a fresh start in the world. The morning was bright and the +air fresh, and a pleasant sense of freedom and adventure possessed his +soul as he walked. At a swinging pace he soon left Gravelton behind him, +and, coming to the river, sat down to smoke a final pipe before turning +his back forever on a town which had treated him so badly. + +The river murmured agreeably and the rushes stirred softly in the breeze; +Mr. Blows, who could fall asleep on an upturned pail, succumbed to the +influence at once; the pipe dropped from his mouth and he snored +peacefully. + +He was awakened by a choking scream, and, starting up hastily, looked +about for the cause. Then in the water he saw the little white face of +Billy Clements, and wading in up to his middle he reached out and, +catching the child by the hair, drew him to the bank and set him on his +feet. Still screaming with terror, Billy threw up some of the water he +had swallowed, and without turning his head made off in the direction of +home, calling piteously upon his mother. + +Mr. Blows, shivering on the bank, watched him out of sight, and, missing +his cap, was just in time to see that friend of several seasons slowly +sinking in the middle of the river. He squeezed the water from his +trousers and, crossing the bridge, set off across the meadows. + + +His self-imposed term of bachelorhood lasted just three months, at the +end of which time he made up his mind to enact the part of the generous +husband and forgive his wife everything. He would not go into details, +but issue one big, magnanimous pardon. + +Full of these lofty ideas he set off in the direction of home again. It +was a three-days' tramp, and the evening of the third day saw him but a +bare two miles from home. He clambered up the bank at the side of the +road and, sprawling at his ease, smoked quietly in the moonlight. + +A waggon piled up with straw came jolting and creaking toward him. The +driver sat dozing on the shafts, and Mr. Blows smiled pleasantly as he +recognised the first face of a friend he had seen for three months. He +thrust his pipe in his pocket and, rising to his feet, clambered on to +the back of the waggon, and lying face downward on the straw peered down +at the unconscious driver below. + +"I'll give old Joe a surprise," he said to himself. "He'll be the first +to welcome me back." + +"Joe," he said, softly. "'Ow goes it, old pal?" + +Mr. Joe Carter, still dozing, opened his eyes at the sound of his name +and looked round; then, coming to the conclusion that he had been +dreaming, closed them again. + +"I'm a-looking at you, Joe," said Mr. Blows, waggishly. "I can see you." + +Mr. Carter looked up sharply and, catching sight of the grinning features +of Mr. Blows protruding over the edge of the straw, threw up his arms +with a piercing shriek and fell off the shafts on to the road. The +astounded Mr. Blows, raising himself on his hands, saw him pick himself +up and, giving vent to a series of fearsome yelps, run clumsily back +along the road. + +"Joe!" shouted Mr. Blows. "J-o-o-oE!" + +[Illustration: "'Joe!' shouted Mr. Blows. 'J-o-o-OE!'"] + +Mr. Carter put his hands to his ears and ran on blindly, while his +friend, sitting on the top of the straw, regarded his proceedings with +mixed feelings of surprise and indignation. + +"It can't be that tanner 'e owes me," he mused, "and yet I don't know +what else it can be. I never see a man so jumpy." + +He continued to speculate while the old horse, undisturbed by the +driver's absence, placidly continued its journey. A mile farther, +however, he got down to take the short cut by the fields. + +"If Joe can't look after his 'orse and cart," he said, primly, as he +watched it along the road, "it's not my business." + +The footpath was not much used at that time of night, and he only met one +man. They were in the shadow of the trees which fringed the new cemetery +as they passed, and both peered. The stranger was satisfied first and, +to Mr. Blows's growing indignation, first gave a leap backward which +would not have disgraced an acrobat, and then made off across the field +with hideous outcries. + +"If I get 'old of some of you," said the offended Mr. Blows, "I'll give +you something to holler for." + +He pursued his way grumbling, and insensibly slackened his pace as he +drew near home. A remnant of conscience which had stuck to him without +encouragement for thirty-five years persisted in suggesting that he had +behaved badly. It also made a few ill-bred inquiries as to how his wife +and children had subsisted for the last three months. He stood outside +the house for a short space, and then, opening the door softly, walked +in. + +The kitchen-door stood open, and his wife in a black dress sat sewing by +the light of a smoky lamp. She looked up as she heard his footsteps, and +then, without a word, slid from the chair full length to the floor. + +"Go on," said Mr. Blows, bitterly; "keep it up. Don't mind me." + +Mrs. Blows paid no heed; her face was white and her eyes were closed. +Her husband, with a dawning perception of the state of affairs, drew a +mug of water from the tap and flung it over her. She opened her eyes and +gave a faint scream, and then, scrambling to her feet, tottered toward +him and sobbed on his breast. + +"There, there," said Mr. Blows. "Don't take on; I forgive you." + +"Oh, John," said his wife, sobbing convulsively, "I thought you was dead. +I thought you was dead. It's only a fortnight ago since we buried you!" + +"Buried me?" said the startled Mr. Blows. "Buried me?" + +"I shall wake up and find I'm dreaming," wailed Mrs. Blows; "I know I +shall. I'm always dreaming that you're not dead. Night before last I +dreamt that you was alive, and I woke up sobbing as if my 'art would +break." + +"Sobbing?" said Mr. Blows, with a scowl. "For joy, John," explained his +wife. + +Mr. Blows was about to ask for a further explanation of the mystery when +he stopped, and regarded with much interest a fair-sized cask which stood +in one corner. + +"A cask o' beer," he said, staring, as he took a glass from the dresser +and crossed over to it. "You don't seem to 'ave taken much 'arm during +my--my going after work." + +"We 'ad it for the funeral, John," said his wife; "leastways, we 'ad two; +this is the second." + +Mr. Blows, who had filled the glass, set it down on the table untasted; +things seemed a trifle uncanny. + +"Go on," said Mrs. Blows; "you've got more right to it than anybody else. +Fancy 'aving you here drinking up the beer for your own funeral." + +"I don't understand what you're a-driving at," retorted Mr. Blows, +drinking somewhat gingerly from the glass. 'Ow could there be a funeral +without me?" + +"It's all a mistake," said the overjoyed Mrs. Blows; "we must have buried +somebody else. But such a funeral, John; you would ha' been proud if you +could ha' seen it. All Gravelton followed, nearly. There was the boys' +drum and fife band, and the Ancient Order of Camels, what you used to +belong to, turned out with their brass band and banners--all the people +marching four abreast and sometimes five." + +Mr. Blows's face softened; he had no idea that he had established himself +so firmly in the affections of his fellow-townsmen. + +"Four mourning carriages," continued his wife, "and the--the hearse, all +covered in flowers so that you couldn't see it 'ardly. One wreath cost +two pounds." + +Mr. Blows endeavoured to conceal his gratification beneath a mask of +surliness. "Waste o' money," he growled, and stooping to the cask drew +himself an-other glass of beer. + +"Some o' the gentry sent their carriages to follow," said Mrs. Blows, +sitting down and clasping her hands in her lap. + +"I know one or two that 'ad a liking for me," said Mr. Blows, almost +blushing. + +"And to think that it's all a mistake," continued his wife. "But I +thought it was you; it was dressed like you, and your cap was found near +it." + +"H'm," said Mr. Blows; "a pretty mess you've been and made of it. Here's +people been giving two pounds for wreaths and turning up with brass bands +and banners because they thought it was me, and it's all been wasted." + +"It wasn't my fault," said his wife. "Little Billy Clements came running +'ome the day you went away and said 'e'd fallen in the water, and you'd +gone in and pulled 'im out. He said 'e thought you was drownded, and +when you didn't come 'ome I naturally thought so too. What else could I +think?" + +Mr. Blows coughed, and holding his glass up to the light regarded it with +a preoccupied air. + +"They dragged the river," resumed his wife, "and found the cap, but they +didn't find the body till nine weeks afterward. There was a inquest at +the Peal o' Bells, and I identified you, and all that grand funeral was +because they thought you'd lost your life saving little Billy. They said +you was a hero." + +[Illustration: "'They dragged the river,' resumed his wife, 'and found +the cap.'"] + +"You've made a nice mess of it," repeated Mr. Blows. + +"The rector preached the sermon," continued his wife; "a beautiful sermon +it was, too. I wish you'd been there to hear it; I should 'ave enjoyed +it ever so much better. He said that nobody was more surprised than what +'e was at your doing such a thing, and that it only showed 'ow little we +knowed our fellow-creatures. He said that it proved there was good in +all of us if we only gave it a chance to come out." + +Mr. Blows eyed her suspiciously, but she sat thinking and staring at the +floor. + +"I s'pose we shall have to give the money back now," she said, at last. + +"Money!" said the other; "what money?" + +"Money that was collected for us," replied his wife. "One 'undered and +eighty-three pounds seven shillings and fourpence." + +Mr. Blows took a long breath. "Ow much?" he said, faintly; "say it +agin." + +His wife obeyed. + +"Show it to me," said the other, in trembling tones; "let's 'ave a look +at it. Let's 'old some of it." + +"I can't," was the reply; "there's a committee of the Camels took charge +of it, and they pay my rent and allow me ten shillings a week. Now I +s'pose it'll have to be given back?" + +"Don't you talk nonsense," said Mr. Blows, violently. "You go to them +interfering Camels and say you want your money--all of it. Say you're +going to Australia. Say it was my last dying wish." + +Mrs. Blows puckered her brow. + +"I'll keep quiet upstairs till you've got it," continued her husband, +rapidly. "There was only two men saw me, and I can see now that they +thought I was my own ghost. Send the kids off to your mother for a few +days." + +His wife sent them off next morning, and a little later was able to tell +him that his surmise as to his friends' mistake was correct. All +Gravelton was thrilled by the news that the spiritual part of Mr. John +Blows was walking the earth, and much exercised as to his reasons for so +doing. + +"Seemed such a monkey trick for 'im to do," complained Mr. Carter, to the +listening circle at the Peal o' Bells. "'I'm a-looking at you, Joe,' he +ses, and he waggled his 'ead as if it was made of india-rubber." + +"He'd got something on 'is mind what he wanted to tell you," said a +listener, severely; "you ought to 'ave stopped, Joe, and asked 'im what +it was." + +"I think I see myself," said the shivering Mr. Carter. "I think I see +myself." + +"Then he wouldn't 'ave troubled you any more," said the other. + +Mr. Carter turned pale and eyed him fixedly. "P'r'aps it was only a +death-warning," said another man. + +"What d'ye mean, 'only a death-warning'?" demanded the unfortunate Mr. +Carter; "you don't know what you're talking about." + +"I 'ad an uncle o' mine see a ghost once," said a third man, anxious to +relieve the tension. + +"And what 'appened?" inquired the first speaker. "I'll tell you after +Joe's gone," said the other, with rare consideration. + +Mr. Carter called for some more beer and told the barmaid to put a little +gin in it. In a pitiable state of "nerves" he sat at the extreme end of +a bench, and felt that he was an object of unwholesome interest to his +acquaintances. The finishing touch was put to his discomfiture when a +well-meaning friend in a vague and disjointed way advised him to give up +drink, swearing, and any other bad habits which he might have contracted. + +[Illustration: "In a pitiable state of 'nerves' he sat at the extreme end +of a bench."] + +The committee of the Ancient Order of Camels took the news calmly, and +classed it with pink rats and other abnormalities. In reply to Mrs. +Blows's request for the capital sum, they expressed astonishment that she +could be willing to tear herself away from the hero's grave, and spoke of +the pain which such an act on her part would cause him in the event of +his being conscious of it. In order to show that they were reasonable +men, they allowed her an extra shilling that week. + +The hero threw the dole on the bedroom floor, and in a speech bristling +with personalities, consigned the committee to perdition. The +confinement was beginning to tell upon him, and two nights afterward, +just before midnight, he slipped out for a breath of fresh air. + +It was a clear night, and all Gravelton with one exception, appeared to +have gone to bed. The exception was Police-constable Collins, and he, +after tracking the skulking figure of Mr. Blows and finally bringing it +to bay in a doorway, kept his for a fort-night. As a sensible man, Mr. +Blows took no credit to himself for the circumstance, but a natural +feeling of satisfaction at the discomfiture of a member of a force for +which he had long entertained a strong objection could not be denied. + +Gravelton debated this new appearance with bated breath, and even the +purblind committee of the Camels had to alter their views. They no +longer denied the supernatural nature of the manifestations, but, with +a strange misunderstanding of Mr. Blows's desires, attributed his +restlessness to dissatisfaction with the projected tombstone, and, having +plenty of funds, amended their order for a plain stone at ten guineas to +one in pink marble at twenty-five. + +"That there committee," said Mr. Blows to his wife, in a trembling voice, +as he heard of the alteration--"that there committee seem to think that +they can play about with my money as they like. You go and tell 'em you +won't 'ave it. And say you've given up the idea of going to Australia +and you want the money to open a shop with. We'll take a little pub +somewhere." + +Mrs. Blows went, and returned in tears, and for two entire days her +husband, a prey to gloom, sat trying to evolve fresh and original ideas +for the possession of the money. On the evening of the second day he +became low-spirited, and going down to the kitchen took a glass from the +dresser and sat down by the beer-cask. + +Almost insensibly he began to take a brighter view of things. It was +Saturday night and his wife was out. He shook his head indulgently as he +thought of her, and began to realise how foolish he had been to entrust +such a delicate mission to a woman. The Ancient Order of Camels wanted a +man to talk to them--a man who knew the world and could assail them with +unanswerable arguments. Having applied every known test to make sure +that the cask was empty, he took his cap from a nail and sallied out into +the street. + +Old Mrs. Martin, a neighbour, saw him first, and announced the fact with +a scream that brought a dozen people round her. Bereft of speech, she +mouthed dumbly at Mr. Blows. + +"I ain't touch--touched her," said that gentleman, earnestly. "I ain't-- +been near 'er." + +The crowd regarded him wild-eyed. Fresh members came running up, and +pushing for a front place fell back hastily on the main body and watched +breathlessly. Mr. Blows, disquieted by their silence, renewed his +protestations. + +"I was coming 'long----" + +He broke off suddenly and, turning round, gazed with some heat at a +gentleman who was endeavouring to ascertain whether an umbrella would +pass through him. The investigator backed hastily into the crowd again, +and a faint murmur of surprise arose as the indignant Mr. Blows rubbed +the place. + +"He's alive, I tell you," said a voice. "What cheer, Jack!" + +"Ullo, Bill," said Mr. Blows, genially. + +Bill came forward cautiously, and, first shaking hands, satisfied himself +by various little taps and prods that his friend was really alive. + +"It's all right," he shouted; "come and feel." + +At least fifty hands accepted the invitation, and, ignoring the threats +and entreaties of Mr. Blows, who was a highly ticklish subject, wandered +briskly over his anatomy. He broke free at last and, supported by Bill +and a friend, set off for the Peal o' Bells. + +By the time he arrived there his following had swollen to immense +proportions. Windows were thrown up, and people standing on their +doorsteps shouted inquiries. Congratulations met him on all sides, and +the joy of Mr. Joseph Carter was so great that Mr. Blows was quite +affected. + +In high feather at the attention he was receiving, Mr. Blows pushed his +way through the idlers at the door and ascended the short flight of +stairs which led to the room where the members of the Ancient Order of +Camels were holding their lodge. The crowd swarmed up after him. + +The door was locked, but in response to his knocking it opened a couple +of inches, and a gruff voice demanded his business. Then, before he +could give it, the doorkeeper reeled back into the room, and Mr. Blows +with a large following pushed his way in. + +The president and his officers, who were sitting in state behind a long +table at the end of the room, started to their feet with mingled cries of +indignation and dismay at the intrusion. Mr. Blows, conscious of the +strength of his position, walked up to them. + +[Illustration: "Mr. Blows, conscious of the strength of his position, +walked up to them."] + +"Mr. Blows!" gasped the president. + +"Ah, you didn't expec' see me," said Mr. Blows, with a scornful laugh +"They're trying do me, do me out o' my lill bit o' money, Bill." + +"But you ain't got no money," said his bewildered friend. + +Mr. Blows turned and eyed him haughtily; then he confronted the staring +president again. + +"I've come for--my money," he said, impressively-- "one 'under-eighty +pounds." + +"But look 'ere," said the scandalised Bill, tugging at his sleeve; "you +ain't dead, Jack." + +"You don't understan'," said Mr. Blows, impatiently. "They know wharri +mean; one 'undereighty pounds. They want to buy me a tombstone, an' I +don't want it. I want the money. Here, stop it! _Dye hear?_" The words +were wrung from him by the action of the president, who, after eyeing him +doubtfully during his remarks, suddenly prodded him with the butt-end of +one of the property spears which leaned against his chair. The solidity +of Mr. Blows was unmistakable, and with a sudden resumption of dignity +the official seated himself and called for silence. + +"I'm sorry to say there's been a bit of a mistake made," he said, slowly, +"but I'm glad to say that Mr. Blows has come back to support his wife and +family with the sweat of his own brow. Only a pound or two of the money +so kindly subscribed has been spent, and the remainder will be handed +back to the subscribers." + +"Here," said the incensed Mr. Blows, "listen me." + +"Take him away," said the president, with great dignity. "Clear the +room. Strangers outside." + +Two of the members approached Mr. Blows and, placing their hands on his +shoulders, requested him to withdraw. He went at last, the centre of a +dozen panting men, and becoming wedged on the narrow staircase, spoke +fluently on such widely differing subjects as the rights of man and the +shape of the president's nose. + +He finished his remarks in the street, but, becoming aware at last of a +strange lack of sympathy on the part of his audience, he shook off the +arm of the faithful Mr. Carter and stalked moodily home. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Spirit of Avarice, by W.W. 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W. Jacobs: Part 11 +</title> + +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + P { text-indent: 1em; + margin: 15%; + margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; } + PRE { font-family: cursive} + .toc { margin-left: 15%; margin-bottom: 0em;} + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + // --> +</style> + +</head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Spirit of Avarice, by W.W. Jacobs + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Spirit of Avarice + Odd Craft, Part 11. + +Author: W.W. Jacobs + +Release Date: April 30, 2004 [EBook #12211] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: US-ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A SPIRIT OF AVARICE *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="title (42K)" src="title.jpg" height="658" width="479" /> +</center> +<br><br> +<br /><br /> +<h2> + 1909 +</h2> + +<center> +<h3>PART 11.</h3> +</center> + +<br /><br /> +<hr> +<br /><br /> + + +<h2>List of Illustrations</h2> + + + + + + +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-53"> +"Mr. John Blows Stood Listening to the Foreman With an Air +Of Lofty Disdain." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-54"> +"'Joe!' Shouted Mr. Blows. 'j-o-o-oe!'" +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-55"> +"'They Dragged the River,' Resumed his Wife, 'and Found +The Cap.'" +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-56"> +"In a Pitiable State of 'nerves' he Sat at the Extreme End +Of a Bench." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-57"> +"Mr. Blows, Conscious of the Strength Of his Position, +Walked up to Them." +</a></p> + + + + + + + +<br /><br /> +<hr> +<br /><br /> + + + + + + +<a name="2H_4_11"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<h2> + A SPIRIT OF AVARICE +</h2> +<p> + Mr. John Blows stood listening to the foreman with an air of lofty + disdain. He was a free-born Englishman, and yet he had been summarily + paid off at eleven o'clock in the morning and told that his valuable + services would no longer be required. More than that, the foreman had + passed certain strictures upon his features which, however true they + might be, were quite irrelevant to the fact that Mr. Blows had been + discovered slumbering in a shed when he should have been laying bricks. +</p> +<a name="image-53"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="053.jpg" height="503" width="586" +alt="'mr. John Blows Stood Listening to the Foreman With an Air +Of Lofty Disdain.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "Take your ugly face off these 'ere works," said the foreman; "take it + 'ome and bury it in the back-yard. Anybody'll be glad to lend you a + spade." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows, in a somewhat fluent reply, reflected severely on the + foreman's immediate ancestors, and the strange lack of good-feeling and + public spirit they had exhibited by allowing him to grow up. +</p> +<p> + "Take it 'ome and bury it," said the foreman again. "Not under any + plants you've got a liking for." +</p> +<p> + "I suppose," said Mr. Blows, still referring to his foe's parents, and + now endeavouring to make excuses for them—"I s'pose they was so pleased, + and so surprised when they found that you was a 'uman being, that they + didn't mind anything else." +</p> +<p> + He walked off with his head in the air, and the other men, who had + partially suspended work to listen, resumed their labours. A modest pint + at the Rising Sun revived his drooping spirits, and he walked home + thinking of several things which he might have said to the foreman if he + had only thought of them in time. +</p> +<p> + He paused at the open door of his house and, looking in, sniffed at the + smell of mottled soap and dirty water which pervaded it. The stairs were + wet, and a pail stood in the narrow passage. From the kitchen came the + sounds of crying children and a scolding mother. Master Joseph Henry + Blows, aged three, was "holding his breath," and the family were all + aghast at the length of his performance. He re-covered it as his father + entered the room, and drowned, without distressing himself, the impotent + efforts of the others. Mrs. Blows turned upon her husband a look of hot + inquiry. +</p> +<p> + "I've got the chuck," he said, surlily. +</p> +<p> + "What, again?" said the unfortunate woman. "Yes, again," repeated her + husband. +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Blows turned away, and dropping into a chair threw her apron over + her head and burst into discordant weeping. Two little Blows, who had + ceased their outcries, resumed them again from sheer sympathy. +</p> +<p> + "Stop it," yelled the indignant Mr. Blows; "stop it at once; d'ye hear?" +</p> +<p> + "I wish I'd never seen you," sobbed his wife from behind her apron. "Of + all the lazy, idle, drunken, good-for-nothing——" +</p> +<p> + "Go on," said Mr. Blows, grimly. +</p> +<p> + "You're more trouble than you're worth," declared Mrs. Blows. "Look at + your father, my dears," she continued, taking the apron away from her + face; "take a good look at him, and mind you don't grow up like it." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows met the combined gaze of his innocent offspring with a dark + scowl, and then fell to moodily walking up and down the passage until he + fell over the pail. At that his mood changed, and, turning fiercely, he + kicked that useful article up and down the passage until he was tired. +</p> +<p> + "I've 'ad enough of it," he muttered. He stopped at the kitchen-door + and, putting his hand in his pocket, threw a handful of change on to the + floor and swung out of the house. +</p> +<p> + Another pint of beer confirmed him in his resolution. He would go far + away and make a fresh start in the world. The morning was bright and the + air fresh, and a pleasant sense of freedom and adventure possessed his + soul as he walked. At a swinging pace he soon left Gravelton behind him, + and, coming to the river, sat down to smoke a final pipe before turning + his back forever on a town which had treated him so badly. +</p> +<p> + The river murmured agreeably and the rushes stirred softly in the breeze; + Mr. Blows, who could fall asleep on an upturned pail, succumbed to the + influence at once; the pipe dropped from his mouth and he snored + peacefully. +</p> +<p> + He was awakened by a choking scream, and, starting up hastily, looked + about for the cause. Then in the water he saw the little white face of + Billy Clements, and wading in up to his middle he reached out and, + catching the child by the hair, drew him to the bank and set him on his + feet. Still screaming with terror, Billy threw up some of the water he + had swallowed, and without turning his head made off in the direction of + home, calling piteously upon his mother. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows, shivering on the bank, watched him out of sight, and, missing + his cap, was just in time to see that friend of several seasons slowly + sinking in the middle of the river. He squeezed the water from his + trousers and, crossing the bridge, set off across the meadows. +</p> +<p> + His self-imposed term of bachelorhood lasted just three months, at the + end of which time he made up his mind to enact the part of the generous + husband and forgive his wife everything. He would not go into details, + but issue one big, magnanimous pardon. +</p> +<p> + Full of these lofty ideas he set off in the direction of home again. It + was a three-days' tramp, and the evening of the third day saw him but a + bare two miles from home. He clambered up the bank at the side of the + road and, sprawling at his ease, smoked quietly in the moonlight. +</p> +<p> + A waggon piled up with straw came jolting and creaking toward him. The + driver sat dozing on the shafts, and Mr. Blows smiled pleasantly as he + recognised the first face of a friend he had seen for three months. He + thrust his pipe in his pocket and, rising to his feet, clambered on to + the back of the waggon, and lying face downward on the straw peered down + at the unconscious driver below. +</p> +<p> + "I'll give old Joe a surprise," he said to himself. "He'll be the first + to welcome me back." +</p> +<p> + "Joe," he said, softly. "'Ow goes it, old pal?" +</p> +<p> + Mr. Joe Carter, still dozing, opened his eyes at the sound of his name + and looked round; then, coming to the conclusion that he had been + dreaming, closed them again. +</p> +<p> + "I'm a-looking at you, Joe," said Mr. Blows, waggishly. "I can see you." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Carter looked up sharply and, catching sight of the grinning features + of Mr. Blows protruding over the edge of the straw, threw up his arms + with a piercing shriek and fell off the shafts on to the road. The + astounded Mr. Blows, raising himself on his hands, saw him pick himself + up and, giving vent to a series of fearsome yelps, run clumsily back + along the road. +</p> +<p> + "Joe!" shouted Mr. Blows. "J-o-o-oE!" +</p> +<a name="image-54"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="054.jpg" height="489" width="566" +alt="''joe!' Shouted Mr. Blows. 'j-o-o-oe!'' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + Mr. Carter put his hands to his ears and ran on blindly, while his + friend, sitting on the top of the straw, regarded his proceedings with + mixed feelings of surprise and indignation. +</p> +<p> + "It can't be that tanner 'e owes me," he mused, "and yet I don't know + what else it can be. I never see a man so jumpy." +</p> +<p> + He continued to speculate while the old horse, undisturbed by the + driver's absence, placidly continued its journey. A mile farther, + however, he got down to take the short cut by the fields. +</p> +<p> + "If Joe can't look after his 'orse and cart," he said, primly, as he + watched it along the road, "it's not my business." +</p> +<p> + The footpath was not much used at that time of night, and he only met one + man. They were in the shadow of the trees which fringed the new cemetery + as they passed, and both peered. The stranger was satisfied first and, + to Mr. Blows's growing indignation, first gave a leap backward which + would not have disgraced an acrobat, and then made off across the field + with hideous outcries. +</p> +<p> + "If I get 'old of some of you," said the offended Mr. Blows, "I'll give + you something to holler for." +</p> +<p> + He pursued his way grumbling, and insensibly slackened his pace as he + drew near home. A remnant of conscience which had stuck to him without + encouragement for thirty-five years persisted in suggesting that he had + behaved badly. It also made a few ill-bred inquiries as to how his wife + and children had subsisted for the last three months. He stood outside + the house for a short space, and then, opening the door softly, walked + in. +</p> +<p> + The kitchen-door stood open, and his wife in a black dress sat sewing by + the light of a smoky lamp. She looked up as she heard his footsteps, and + then, without a word, slid from the chair full length to the floor. +</p> +<p> + "Go on," said Mr. Blows, bitterly; "keep it up. Don't mind me." +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Blows paid no heed; her face was white and her eyes were closed. + Her husband, with a dawning perception of the state of affairs, drew a + mug of water from the tap and flung it over her. She opened her eyes and + gave a faint scream, and then, scrambling to her feet, tottered toward + him and sobbed on his breast. +</p> +<p> + "There, there," said Mr. Blows. "Don't take on; I forgive you." +</p> +<p> + "Oh, John," said his wife, sobbing convulsively, "I thought you was dead. + I thought you was dead. It's only a fortnight ago since we buried you!" +</p> +<p> + "Buried me?" said the startled Mr. Blows. "Buried me?" +</p> +<p> + "I shall wake up and find I'm dreaming," wailed Mrs. Blows; "I know I + shall. I'm always dreaming that you're not dead. Night before last I + dreamt that you was alive, and I woke up sobbing as if my 'art would + break." +</p> +<p> + "Sobbing?" said Mr. Blows, with a scowl. "For joy, John," explained his + wife. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows was about to ask for a further explanation of the mystery when + he stopped, and regarded with much interest a fair-sized cask which stood + in one corner. +</p> +<p> + "A cask o' beer," he said, staring, as he took a glass from the dresser + and crossed over to it. "You don't seem to 'ave taken much 'arm during + my—my going after work." +</p> +<p> + "We 'ad it for the funeral, John," said his wife; "leastways, we 'ad two; + this is the second." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows, who had filled the glass, set it down on the table untasted; + things seemed a trifle uncanny. +</p> +<p> + "Go on," said Mrs. Blows; "you've got more right to it than anybody else. + Fancy 'aving you here drinking up the beer for your own funeral." +</p> +<p> + "I don't understand what you're a-driving at," retorted Mr. Blows, + drinking somewhat gingerly from the glass. 'Ow could there be a funeral + without me?" +</p> +<p> + "It's all a mistake," said the overjoyed Mrs. Blows; "we must have buried + somebody else. But such a funeral, John; you would ha' been proud if you + could ha' seen it. All Gravelton followed, nearly. There was the boys' + drum and fife band, and the Ancient Order of Camels, what you used to + belong to, turned out with their brass band and banners—all the people + marching four abreast and sometimes five." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows's face softened; he had no idea that he had established himself + so firmly in the affections of his fellow-townsmen. +</p> +<p> + "Four mourning carriages," continued his wife, "and the—the hearse, all + covered in flowers so that you couldn't see it 'ardly. One wreath cost + two pounds." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows endeavoured to conceal his gratification beneath a mask of + surliness. "Waste o' money," he growled, and stooping to the cask drew + himself an-other glass of beer. +</p> +<p> + "Some o' the gentry sent their carriages to follow," said Mrs. Blows, + sitting down and clasping her hands in her lap. +</p> +<p> + "I know one or two that 'ad a liking for me," said Mr. Blows, almost + blushing. +</p> +<p> + "And to think that it's all a mistake," continued his wife. "But I + thought it was you; it was dressed like you, and your cap was found near + it." +</p> +<p> + "H'm," said Mr. Blows; "a pretty mess you've been and made of it. Here's + people been giving two pounds for wreaths and turning up with brass bands + and banners because they thought it was me, and it's all been wasted." +</p> +<p> + "It wasn't my fault," said his wife. "Little Billy Clements came running + 'ome the day you went away and said 'e'd fallen in the water, and you'd + gone in and pulled 'im out. He said 'e thought you was drownded, and + when you didn't come 'ome I naturally thought so too. What else could I + think?" +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows coughed, and holding his glass up to the light regarded it with + a preoccupied air. +</p> +<p> + "They dragged the river," resumed his wife, "and found the cap, but they + didn't find the body till nine weeks afterward. There was a inquest at + the Peal o' Bells, and I identified you, and all that grand funeral was + because they thought you'd lost your life saving little Billy. They said + you was a hero." +</p> +<a name="image-55"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="055.jpg" height="555" width="552" +alt="''they Dragged the River,' Resumed his Wife, 'and Found +The Cap.'' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "You've made a nice mess of it," repeated Mr. Blows. +</p> +<p> + "The rector preached the sermon," continued his wife; "a beautiful sermon + it was, too. I wish you'd been there to hear it; I should 'ave enjoyed + it ever so much better. He said that nobody was more surprised than what + 'e was at your doing such a thing, and that it only showed 'ow little we + knowed our fellow-creatures. He said that it proved there was good in + all of us if we only gave it a chance to come out." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows eyed her suspiciously, but she sat thinking and staring at the + floor. +</p> +<p> + "I s'pose we shall have to give the money back now," she said, at last. +</p> +<p> + "Money!" said the other; "what money?" +</p> +<p> + "Money that was collected for us," replied his wife. "One 'undered and + eighty-three pounds seven shillings and fourpence." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows took a long breath. "Ow much?" he said, faintly; "say it + agin." +</p> +<p> + His wife obeyed. +</p> +<p> + "Show it to me," said the other, in trembling tones; "let's 'ave a look + at it. Let's 'old some of it." +</p> +<p> + "I can't," was the reply; "there's a committee of the Camels took charge + of it, and they pay my rent and allow me ten shillings a week. Now I + s'pose it'll have to be given back?" +</p> +<p> + "Don't you talk nonsense," said Mr. Blows, violently. "You go to them + interfering Camels and say you want your money—all of it. Say you're + going to Australia. Say it was my last dying wish." +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Blows puckered her brow. +</p> +<p> + "I'll keep quiet upstairs till you've got it," continued her husband, + rapidly. "There was only two men saw me, and I can see now that they + thought I was my own ghost. Send the kids off to your mother for a few + days." +</p> +<p> + His wife sent them off next morning, and a little later was able to tell + him that his surmise as to his friends' mistake was correct. All + Gravelton was thrilled by the news that the spiritual part of Mr. John + Blows was walking the earth, and much exercised as to his reasons for so + doing. +</p> +<p> + "Seemed such a monkey trick for 'im to do," complained Mr. Carter, to the + listening circle at the Peal o' Bells. "'I'm a-looking at you, Joe,' he + ses, and he waggled his 'ead as if it was made of india-rubber." +</p> +<p> + "He'd got something on 'is mind what he wanted to tell you," said a + listener, severely; "you ought to 'ave stopped, Joe, and asked 'im what + it was." +</p> +<p> + "I think I see myself," said the shivering Mr. Carter. "I think I see + myself." +</p> +<p> + "Then he wouldn't 'ave troubled you any more," said the other. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Carter turned pale and eyed him fixedly. "P'r'aps it was only a + death-warning," said another man. +</p> +<p> + "What d'ye mean, 'only a death-warning'?" demanded the unfortunate Mr. + Carter; "you don't know what you're talking about." +</p> +<p> + "I 'ad an uncle o' mine see a ghost once," said a third man, anxious to + relieve the tension. +</p> +<p> + "And what 'appened?" inquired the first speaker. "I'll tell you after + Joe's gone," said the other, with rare consideration. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Carter called for some more beer and told the barmaid to put a little + gin in it. In a pitiable state of "nerves" he sat at the extreme end of + a bench, and felt that he was an object of unwholesome interest to his + acquaintances. The finishing touch was put to his discomfiture when a + well-meaning friend in a vague and disjointed way advised him to give up + drink, swearing, and any other bad habits which he might have contracted. +</p> +<a name="image-56"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="056.jpg" height="513" width="531" +alt="'in a Pitiable State of 'nerves' he Sat at the Extreme End +Of a Bench.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + The committee of the Ancient Order of Camels took the news calmly, and + classed it with pink rats and other abnormalities. In reply to Mrs. + Blows's request for the capital sum, they expressed astonishment that she + could be willing to tear herself away from the hero's grave, and spoke of + the pain which such an act on her part would cause him in the event of + his being conscious of it. In order to show that they were reasonable + men, they allowed her an extra shilling that week. +</p> +<p> + The hero threw the dole on the bedroom floor, and in a speech bristling + with personalities, consigned the committee to perdition. The + confinement was beginning to tell upon him, and two nights afterward, + just before midnight, he slipped out for a breath of fresh air. +</p> +<p> + It was a clear night, and all Gravelton with one exception, appeared to + have gone to bed. The exception was Police-constable Collins, and he, + after tracking the skulking figure of Mr. Blows and finally bringing it + to bay in a doorway, kept his for a fort-night. As a sensible man, Mr. + Blows took no credit to himself for the circumstance, but a natural + feeling of satisfaction at the discomfiture of a member of a force for + which he had long entertained a strong objection could not be denied. +</p> +<p> + Gravelton debated this new appearance with bated breath, and even the + purblind committee of the Camels had to alter their views. They no + longer denied the supernatural nature of the manifestations, but, with + a strange misunderstanding of Mr. Blows's desires, attributed his + restlessness to dissatisfaction with the projected tombstone, and, having + plenty of funds, amended their order for a plain stone at ten guineas to + one in pink marble at twenty-five. +</p> +<p> + "That there committee," said Mr. Blows to his wife, in a trembling voice, + as he heard of the alteration—"that there committee seem to think that + they can play about with my money as they like. You go and tell 'em you + won't 'ave it. And say you've given up the idea of going to Australia + and you want the money to open a shop with. We'll take a little pub + somewhere." +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Blows went, and returned in tears, and for two entire days her + husband, a prey to gloom, sat trying to evolve fresh and original ideas + for the possession of the money. On the evening of the second day he + became low-spirited, and going down to the kitchen took a glass from the + dresser and sat down by the beer-cask. +</p> +<p> + Almost insensibly he began to take a brighter view of things. It was + Saturday night and his wife was out. He shook his head indulgently as he + thought of her, and began to realise how foolish he had been to entrust + such a delicate mission to a woman. The Ancient Order of Camels wanted a + man to talk to them—a man who knew the world and could assail them with + unanswerable arguments. Having applied every known test to make sure + that the cask was empty, he took his cap from a nail and sallied out into + the street. +</p> +<p> + Old Mrs. Martin, a neighbour, saw him first, and announced the fact with + a scream that brought a dozen people round her. Bereft of speech, she + mouthed dumbly at Mr. Blows. +</p> +<p> + "I ain't touch—touched her," said that gentleman, earnestly. "I ain't— + been near 'er." +</p> +<p> + The crowd regarded him wild-eyed. Fresh members came running up, and + pushing for a front place fell back hastily on the main body and watched + breathlessly. Mr. Blows, disquieted by their silence, renewed his + protestations. +</p> +<p> + "I was coming 'long——" +</p> +<p> + He broke off suddenly and, turning round, gazed with some heat at a + gentleman who was endeavouring to ascertain whether an umbrella would + pass through him. The investigator backed hastily into the crowd again, + and a faint murmur of surprise arose as the indignant Mr. Blows rubbed + the place. +</p> +<p> + "He's alive, I tell you," said a voice. "What cheer, Jack!" +</p> +<p> + "Ullo, Bill," said Mr. Blows, genially. +</p> +<p> + Bill came forward cautiously, and, first shaking hands, satisfied himself + by various little taps and prods that his friend was really alive. +</p> +<p> + "It's all right," he shouted; "come and feel." +</p> +<p> + At least fifty hands accepted the invitation, and, ignoring the threats + and entreaties of Mr. Blows, who was a highly ticklish subject, wandered + briskly over his anatomy. He broke free at last and, supported by Bill + and a friend, set off for the Peal o' Bells. +</p> +<p> + By the time he arrived there his following had swollen to immense + proportions. Windows were thrown up, and people standing on their + doorsteps shouted inquiries. Congratulations met him on all sides, and + the joy of Mr. Joseph Carter was so great that Mr. Blows was quite + affected. +</p> +<p> + In high feather at the attention he was receiving, Mr. Blows pushed his + way through the idlers at the door and ascended the short flight of + stairs which led to the room where the members of the Ancient Order of + Camels were holding their lodge. The crowd swarmed up after him. +</p> +<p> + The door was locked, but in response to his knocking it opened a couple + of inches, and a gruff voice demanded his business. Then, before he + could give it, the doorkeeper reeled back into the room, and Mr. Blows + with a large following pushed his way in. +</p> +<p> + The president and his officers, who were sitting in state behind a long + table at the end of the room, started to their feet with mingled cries of + indignation and dismay at the intrusion. Mr. Blows, conscious of the + strength of his position, walked up to them. +</p> +<a name="image-57"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="057.jpg" height="493" width="536" +alt="'mr. Blows, Conscious of the Strength Of his Position, +Walked up to Them.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "Mr. Blows!" gasped the president. +</p> +<p> + "Ah, you didn't expec' see me," said Mr. Blows, with a scornful laugh + "They're trying do me, do me out o' my lill bit o' money, Bill." +</p> +<p> + "But you ain't got no money," said his bewildered friend. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blows turned and eyed him haughtily; then he confronted the staring + president again. +</p> +<p> + "I've come for—my money," he said, impressively— "one 'under-eighty + pounds." +</p> +<p> + "But look 'ere," said the scandalised Bill, tugging at his sleeve; "you + ain't dead, Jack." +</p> +<p> + "You don't understan'," said Mr. Blows, impatiently. "They know wharri + mean; one 'undereighty pounds. They want to buy me a tombstone, an' I + don't want it. I want the money. Here, stop it! <i>Dye hear?</i>" The words + were wrung from him by the action of the president, who, after eyeing him + doubtfully during his remarks, suddenly prodded him with the butt-end of + one of the property spears which leaned against his chair. The solidity + of Mr. Blows was unmistakable, and with a sudden resumption of dignity + the official seated himself and called for silence. +</p> +<p> + "I'm sorry to say there's been a bit of a mistake made," he said, slowly, + "but I'm glad to say that Mr. Blows has come back to support his wife and + family with the sweat of his own brow. Only a pound or two of the money + so kindly subscribed has been spent, and the remainder will be handed + back to the subscribers." +</p> +<p> + "Here," said the incensed Mr. Blows, "listen me." +</p> +<p> + "Take him away," said the president, with great dignity. "Clear the + room. Strangers outside." +</p> +<p> + Two of the members approached Mr. Blows and, placing their hands on his + shoulders, requested him to withdraw. He went at last, the centre of a + dozen panting men, and becoming wedged on the narrow staircase, spoke + fluently on such widely differing subjects as the rights of man and the + shape of the president's nose. +</p> +<p> + He finished his remarks in the street, but, becoming aware at last of a + strange lack of sympathy on the part of his audience, he shook off the + arm of the faithful Mr. Carter and stalked moodily home. +</p> + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Spirit of Avarice, by W.W. 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For +example an eBook of filename 10234 would be found at: + + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/2/3/10234 + +or filename 24689 would be found at: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/4/6/8/24689 + +An alternative method of locating eBooks: + https://www.gutenberg.org/GUTINDEX.ALL + + + + +</pre> + +</body> +</html> diff --git a/old/12211-h/title.jpg b/old/12211-h/title.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..8c4b3bd --- /dev/null +++ b/old/12211-h/title.jpg diff --git a/old/12211.txt b/old/12211.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..78cf1c4 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/12211.txt @@ -0,0 +1,942 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Spirit of Avarice, by W.W. Jacobs + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Spirit of Avarice + Odd Craft, Part 11. + +Author: W.W. Jacobs + +Release Date: April 30, 2004 [EBook #12211] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A SPIRIT OF AVARICE *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + +ODD CRAFT + +By W.W. Jacobs + + + +A SPIRIT OF AVARICE + + +Mr. John Blows stood listening to the foreman with an air of lofty +disdain. He was a free-born Englishman, and yet he had been summarily +paid off at eleven o'clock in the morning and told that his valuable +services would no longer be required. More than that, the foreman had +passed certain strictures upon his features which, however true they +might be, were quite irrelevant to the fact that Mr. Blows had been +discovered slumbering in a shed when he should have been laying bricks. + +[Illustration: "Mr. John Blows stood listening to the foreman with an air +of lofty disdain."] + +"Take your ugly face off these 'ere works," said the foreman; "take it +'ome and bury it in the back-yard. Anybody'll be glad to lend you a +spade." + +Mr. Blows, in a somewhat fluent reply, reflected severely on the +foreman's immediate ancestors, and the strange lack of good-feeling and +public spirit they had exhibited by allowing him to grow up. + +"Take it 'ome and bury it," said the foreman again. "Not under any +plants you've got a liking for." + +"I suppose," said Mr. Blows, still referring to his foe's parents, and +now endeavouring to make excuses for them--"I s'pose they was so pleased, +and so surprised when they found that you was a 'uman being, that they +didn't mind anything else." + +He walked off with his head in the air, and the other men, who had +partially suspended work to listen, resumed their labours. A modest pint +at the Rising Sun revived his drooping spirits, and he walked home +thinking of several things which he might have said to the foreman if he +had only thought of them in time. + +He paused at the open door of his house and, looking in, sniffed at the +smell of mottled soap and dirty water which pervaded it. The stairs were +wet, and a pail stood in the narrow passage. From the kitchen came the +sounds of crying children and a scolding mother. Master Joseph Henry +Blows, aged three, was "holding his breath," and the family were all +aghast at the length of his performance. He re-covered it as his father +entered the room, and drowned, without distressing himself, the impotent +efforts of the others. Mrs. Blows turned upon her husband a look of hot +inquiry. + +"I've got the chuck," he said, surlily. + +"What, again?" said the unfortunate woman. "Yes, again," repeated her +husband. + +Mrs. Blows turned away, and dropping into a chair threw her apron over +her head and burst into discordant weeping. Two little Blows, who had +ceased their outcries, resumed them again from sheer sympathy. + +"Stop it," yelled the indignant Mr. Blows; "stop it at once; d'ye hear?" + +"I wish I'd never seen you," sobbed his wife from behind her apron. "Of +all the lazy, idle, drunken, good-for-nothing----" + +"Go on," said Mr. Blows, grimly. + +"You're more trouble than you're worth," declared Mrs. Blows. "Look at +your father, my dears," she continued, taking the apron away from her +face; "take a good look at him, and mind you don't grow up like it." + +Mr. Blows met the combined gaze of his innocent offspring with a dark +scowl, and then fell to moodily walking up and down the passage until he +fell over the pail. At that his mood changed, and, turning fiercely, he +kicked that useful article up and down the passage until he was tired. + +"I've 'ad enough of it," he muttered. He stopped at the kitchen-door +and, putting his hand in his pocket, threw a handful of change on to the +floor and swung out of the house. + +Another pint of beer confirmed him in his resolution. He would go far +away and make a fresh start in the world. The morning was bright and the +air fresh, and a pleasant sense of freedom and adventure possessed his +soul as he walked. At a swinging pace he soon left Gravelton behind him, +and, coming to the river, sat down to smoke a final pipe before turning +his back forever on a town which had treated him so badly. + +The river murmured agreeably and the rushes stirred softly in the breeze; +Mr. Blows, who could fall asleep on an upturned pail, succumbed to the +influence at once; the pipe dropped from his mouth and he snored +peacefully. + +He was awakened by a choking scream, and, starting up hastily, looked +about for the cause. Then in the water he saw the little white face of +Billy Clements, and wading in up to his middle he reached out and, +catching the child by the hair, drew him to the bank and set him on his +feet. Still screaming with terror, Billy threw up some of the water he +had swallowed, and without turning his head made off in the direction of +home, calling piteously upon his mother. + +Mr. Blows, shivering on the bank, watched him out of sight, and, missing +his cap, was just in time to see that friend of several seasons slowly +sinking in the middle of the river. He squeezed the water from his +trousers and, crossing the bridge, set off across the meadows. + + +His self-imposed term of bachelorhood lasted just three months, at the +end of which time he made up his mind to enact the part of the generous +husband and forgive his wife everything. He would not go into details, +but issue one big, magnanimous pardon. + +Full of these lofty ideas he set off in the direction of home again. It +was a three-days' tramp, and the evening of the third day saw him but a +bare two miles from home. He clambered up the bank at the side of the +road and, sprawling at his ease, smoked quietly in the moonlight. + +A waggon piled up with straw came jolting and creaking toward him. The +driver sat dozing on the shafts, and Mr. Blows smiled pleasantly as he +recognised the first face of a friend he had seen for three months. He +thrust his pipe in his pocket and, rising to his feet, clambered on to +the back of the waggon, and lying face downward on the straw peered down +at the unconscious driver below. + +"I'll give old Joe a surprise," he said to himself. "He'll be the first +to welcome me back." + +"Joe," he said, softly. "'Ow goes it, old pal?" + +Mr. Joe Carter, still dozing, opened his eyes at the sound of his name +and looked round; then, coming to the conclusion that he had been +dreaming, closed them again. + +"I'm a-looking at you, Joe," said Mr. Blows, waggishly. "I can see you." + +Mr. Carter looked up sharply and, catching sight of the grinning features +of Mr. Blows protruding over the edge of the straw, threw up his arms +with a piercing shriek and fell off the shafts on to the road. The +astounded Mr. Blows, raising himself on his hands, saw him pick himself +up and, giving vent to a series of fearsome yelps, run clumsily back +along the road. + +"Joe!" shouted Mr. Blows. "J-o-o-oE!" + +[Illustration: "'Joe!' shouted Mr. Blows. 'J-o-o-OE!'"] + +Mr. Carter put his hands to his ears and ran on blindly, while his +friend, sitting on the top of the straw, regarded his proceedings with +mixed feelings of surprise and indignation. + +"It can't be that tanner 'e owes me," he mused, "and yet I don't know +what else it can be. I never see a man so jumpy." + +He continued to speculate while the old horse, undisturbed by the +driver's absence, placidly continued its journey. A mile farther, +however, he got down to take the short cut by the fields. + +"If Joe can't look after his 'orse and cart," he said, primly, as he +watched it along the road, "it's not my business." + +The footpath was not much used at that time of night, and he only met one +man. They were in the shadow of the trees which fringed the new cemetery +as they passed, and both peered. The stranger was satisfied first and, +to Mr. Blows's growing indignation, first gave a leap backward which +would not have disgraced an acrobat, and then made off across the field +with hideous outcries. + +"If I get 'old of some of you," said the offended Mr. Blows, "I'll give +you something to holler for." + +He pursued his way grumbling, and insensibly slackened his pace as he +drew near home. A remnant of conscience which had stuck to him without +encouragement for thirty-five years persisted in suggesting that he had +behaved badly. It also made a few ill-bred inquiries as to how his wife +and children had subsisted for the last three months. He stood outside +the house for a short space, and then, opening the door softly, walked +in. + +The kitchen-door stood open, and his wife in a black dress sat sewing by +the light of a smoky lamp. She looked up as she heard his footsteps, and +then, without a word, slid from the chair full length to the floor. + +"Go on," said Mr. Blows, bitterly; "keep it up. Don't mind me." + +Mrs. Blows paid no heed; her face was white and her eyes were closed. +Her husband, with a dawning perception of the state of affairs, drew a +mug of water from the tap and flung it over her. She opened her eyes and +gave a faint scream, and then, scrambling to her feet, tottered toward +him and sobbed on his breast. + +"There, there," said Mr. Blows. "Don't take on; I forgive you." + +"Oh, John," said his wife, sobbing convulsively, "I thought you was dead. +I thought you was dead. It's only a fortnight ago since we buried you!" + +"Buried me?" said the startled Mr. Blows. "Buried me?" + +"I shall wake up and find I'm dreaming," wailed Mrs. Blows; "I know I +shall. I'm always dreaming that you're not dead. Night before last I +dreamt that you was alive, and I woke up sobbing as if my 'art would +break." + +"Sobbing?" said Mr. Blows, with a scowl. "For joy, John," explained his +wife. + +Mr. Blows was about to ask for a further explanation of the mystery when +he stopped, and regarded with much interest a fair-sized cask which stood +in one corner. + +"A cask o' beer," he said, staring, as he took a glass from the dresser +and crossed over to it. "You don't seem to 'ave taken much 'arm during +my--my going after work." + +"We 'ad it for the funeral, John," said his wife; "leastways, we 'ad two; +this is the second." + +Mr. Blows, who had filled the glass, set it down on the table untasted; +things seemed a trifle uncanny. + +"Go on," said Mrs. Blows; "you've got more right to it than anybody else. +Fancy 'aving you here drinking up the beer for your own funeral." + +"I don't understand what you're a-driving at," retorted Mr. Blows, +drinking somewhat gingerly from the glass. 'Ow could there be a funeral +without me?" + +"It's all a mistake," said the overjoyed Mrs. Blows; "we must have buried +somebody else. But such a funeral, John; you would ha' been proud if you +could ha' seen it. All Gravelton followed, nearly. There was the boys' +drum and fife band, and the Ancient Order of Camels, what you used to +belong to, turned out with their brass band and banners--all the people +marching four abreast and sometimes five." + +Mr. Blows's face softened; he had no idea that he had established himself +so firmly in the affections of his fellow-townsmen. + +"Four mourning carriages," continued his wife, "and the--the hearse, all +covered in flowers so that you couldn't see it 'ardly. One wreath cost +two pounds." + +Mr. Blows endeavoured to conceal his gratification beneath a mask of +surliness. "Waste o' money," he growled, and stooping to the cask drew +himself an-other glass of beer. + +"Some o' the gentry sent their carriages to follow," said Mrs. Blows, +sitting down and clasping her hands in her lap. + +"I know one or two that 'ad a liking for me," said Mr. Blows, almost +blushing. + +"And to think that it's all a mistake," continued his wife. "But I +thought it was you; it was dressed like you, and your cap was found near +it." + +"H'm," said Mr. Blows; "a pretty mess you've been and made of it. Here's +people been giving two pounds for wreaths and turning up with brass bands +and banners because they thought it was me, and it's all been wasted." + +"It wasn't my fault," said his wife. "Little Billy Clements came running +'ome the day you went away and said 'e'd fallen in the water, and you'd +gone in and pulled 'im out. He said 'e thought you was drownded, and +when you didn't come 'ome I naturally thought so too. What else could I +think?" + +Mr. Blows coughed, and holding his glass up to the light regarded it with +a preoccupied air. + +"They dragged the river," resumed his wife, "and found the cap, but they +didn't find the body till nine weeks afterward. There was a inquest at +the Peal o' Bells, and I identified you, and all that grand funeral was +because they thought you'd lost your life saving little Billy. They said +you was a hero." + +[Illustration: "'They dragged the river,' resumed his wife, 'and found +the cap.'"] + +"You've made a nice mess of it," repeated Mr. Blows. + +"The rector preached the sermon," continued his wife; "a beautiful sermon +it was, too. I wish you'd been there to hear it; I should 'ave enjoyed +it ever so much better. He said that nobody was more surprised than what +'e was at your doing such a thing, and that it only showed 'ow little we +knowed our fellow-creatures. He said that it proved there was good in +all of us if we only gave it a chance to come out." + +Mr. Blows eyed her suspiciously, but she sat thinking and staring at the +floor. + +"I s'pose we shall have to give the money back now," she said, at last. + +"Money!" said the other; "what money?" + +"Money that was collected for us," replied his wife. "One 'undered and +eighty-three pounds seven shillings and fourpence." + +Mr. Blows took a long breath. "Ow much?" he said, faintly; "say it +agin." + +His wife obeyed. + +"Show it to me," said the other, in trembling tones; "let's 'ave a look +at it. Let's 'old some of it." + +"I can't," was the reply; "there's a committee of the Camels took charge +of it, and they pay my rent and allow me ten shillings a week. Now I +s'pose it'll have to be given back?" + +"Don't you talk nonsense," said Mr. Blows, violently. "You go to them +interfering Camels and say you want your money--all of it. Say you're +going to Australia. Say it was my last dying wish." + +Mrs. Blows puckered her brow. + +"I'll keep quiet upstairs till you've got it," continued her husband, +rapidly. "There was only two men saw me, and I can see now that they +thought I was my own ghost. Send the kids off to your mother for a few +days." + +His wife sent them off next morning, and a little later was able to tell +him that his surmise as to his friends' mistake was correct. All +Gravelton was thrilled by the news that the spiritual part of Mr. John +Blows was walking the earth, and much exercised as to his reasons for so +doing. + +"Seemed such a monkey trick for 'im to do," complained Mr. Carter, to the +listening circle at the Peal o' Bells. "'I'm a-looking at you, Joe,' he +ses, and he waggled his 'ead as if it was made of india-rubber." + +"He'd got something on 'is mind what he wanted to tell you," said a +listener, severely; "you ought to 'ave stopped, Joe, and asked 'im what +it was." + +"I think I see myself," said the shivering Mr. Carter. "I think I see +myself." + +"Then he wouldn't 'ave troubled you any more," said the other. + +Mr. Carter turned pale and eyed him fixedly. "P'r'aps it was only a +death-warning," said another man. + +"What d'ye mean, 'only a death-warning'?" demanded the unfortunate Mr. +Carter; "you don't know what you're talking about." + +"I 'ad an uncle o' mine see a ghost once," said a third man, anxious to +relieve the tension. + +"And what 'appened?" inquired the first speaker. "I'll tell you after +Joe's gone," said the other, with rare consideration. + +Mr. Carter called for some more beer and told the barmaid to put a little +gin in it. In a pitiable state of "nerves" he sat at the extreme end of +a bench, and felt that he was an object of unwholesome interest to his +acquaintances. The finishing touch was put to his discomfiture when a +well-meaning friend in a vague and disjointed way advised him to give up +drink, swearing, and any other bad habits which he might have contracted. + +[Illustration: "In a pitiable state of 'nerves' he sat at the extreme end +of a bench."] + +The committee of the Ancient Order of Camels took the news calmly, and +classed it with pink rats and other abnormalities. In reply to Mrs. +Blows's request for the capital sum, they expressed astonishment that she +could be willing to tear herself away from the hero's grave, and spoke of +the pain which such an act on her part would cause him in the event of +his being conscious of it. In order to show that they were reasonable +men, they allowed her an extra shilling that week. + +The hero threw the dole on the bedroom floor, and in a speech bristling +with personalities, consigned the committee to perdition. The +confinement was beginning to tell upon him, and two nights afterward, +just before midnight, he slipped out for a breath of fresh air. + +It was a clear night, and all Gravelton with one exception, appeared to +have gone to bed. The exception was Police-constable Collins, and he, +after tracking the skulking figure of Mr. Blows and finally bringing it +to bay in a doorway, kept his for a fort-night. As a sensible man, Mr. +Blows took no credit to himself for the circumstance, but a natural +feeling of satisfaction at the discomfiture of a member of a force for +which he had long entertained a strong objection could not be denied. + +Gravelton debated this new appearance with bated breath, and even the +purblind committee of the Camels had to alter their views. They no +longer denied the supernatural nature of the manifestations, but, with +a strange misunderstanding of Mr. Blows's desires, attributed his +restlessness to dissatisfaction with the projected tombstone, and, having +plenty of funds, amended their order for a plain stone at ten guineas to +one in pink marble at twenty-five. + +"That there committee," said Mr. Blows to his wife, in a trembling voice, +as he heard of the alteration--"that there committee seem to think that +they can play about with my money as they like. You go and tell 'em you +won't 'ave it. And say you've given up the idea of going to Australia +and you want the money to open a shop with. We'll take a little pub +somewhere." + +Mrs. Blows went, and returned in tears, and for two entire days her +husband, a prey to gloom, sat trying to evolve fresh and original ideas +for the possession of the money. On the evening of the second day he +became low-spirited, and going down to the kitchen took a glass from the +dresser and sat down by the beer-cask. + +Almost insensibly he began to take a brighter view of things. It was +Saturday night and his wife was out. He shook his head indulgently as he +thought of her, and began to realise how foolish he had been to entrust +such a delicate mission to a woman. The Ancient Order of Camels wanted a +man to talk to them--a man who knew the world and could assail them with +unanswerable arguments. Having applied every known test to make sure +that the cask was empty, he took his cap from a nail and sallied out into +the street. + +Old Mrs. Martin, a neighbour, saw him first, and announced the fact with +a scream that brought a dozen people round her. Bereft of speech, she +mouthed dumbly at Mr. Blows. + +"I ain't touch--touched her," said that gentleman, earnestly. "I ain't-- +been near 'er." + +The crowd regarded him wild-eyed. Fresh members came running up, and +pushing for a front place fell back hastily on the main body and watched +breathlessly. Mr. Blows, disquieted by their silence, renewed his +protestations. + +"I was coming 'long----" + +He broke off suddenly and, turning round, gazed with some heat at a +gentleman who was endeavouring to ascertain whether an umbrella would +pass through him. The investigator backed hastily into the crowd again, +and a faint murmur of surprise arose as the indignant Mr. Blows rubbed +the place. + +"He's alive, I tell you," said a voice. "What cheer, Jack!" + +"Ullo, Bill," said Mr. Blows, genially. + +Bill came forward cautiously, and, first shaking hands, satisfied himself +by various little taps and prods that his friend was really alive. + +"It's all right," he shouted; "come and feel." + +At least fifty hands accepted the invitation, and, ignoring the threats +and entreaties of Mr. Blows, who was a highly ticklish subject, wandered +briskly over his anatomy. He broke free at last and, supported by Bill +and a friend, set off for the Peal o' Bells. + +By the time he arrived there his following had swollen to immense +proportions. Windows were thrown up, and people standing on their +doorsteps shouted inquiries. Congratulations met him on all sides, and +the joy of Mr. Joseph Carter was so great that Mr. Blows was quite +affected. + +In high feather at the attention he was receiving, Mr. Blows pushed his +way through the idlers at the door and ascended the short flight of +stairs which led to the room where the members of the Ancient Order of +Camels were holding their lodge. The crowd swarmed up after him. + +The door was locked, but in response to his knocking it opened a couple +of inches, and a gruff voice demanded his business. Then, before he +could give it, the doorkeeper reeled back into the room, and Mr. Blows +with a large following pushed his way in. + +The president and his officers, who were sitting in state behind a long +table at the end of the room, started to their feet with mingled cries of +indignation and dismay at the intrusion. Mr. Blows, conscious of the +strength of his position, walked up to them. + +[Illustration: "Mr. Blows, conscious of the strength of his position, +walked up to them."] + +"Mr. Blows!" gasped the president. + +"Ah, you didn't expec' see me," said Mr. Blows, with a scornful laugh +"They're trying do me, do me out o' my lill bit o' money, Bill." + +"But you ain't got no money," said his bewildered friend. + +Mr. Blows turned and eyed him haughtily; then he confronted the staring +president again. + +"I've come for--my money," he said, impressively-- "one 'under-eighty +pounds." + +"But look 'ere," said the scandalised Bill, tugging at his sleeve; "you +ain't dead, Jack." + +"You don't understan'," said Mr. Blows, impatiently. "They know wharri +mean; one 'undereighty pounds. They want to buy me a tombstone, an' I +don't want it. I want the money. Here, stop it! _Dye hear?_" The words +were wrung from him by the action of the president, who, after eyeing him +doubtfully during his remarks, suddenly prodded him with the butt-end of +one of the property spears which leaned against his chair. The solidity +of Mr. Blows was unmistakable, and with a sudden resumption of dignity +the official seated himself and called for silence. + +"I'm sorry to say there's been a bit of a mistake made," he said, slowly, +"but I'm glad to say that Mr. Blows has come back to support his wife and +family with the sweat of his own brow. Only a pound or two of the money +so kindly subscribed has been spent, and the remainder will be handed +back to the subscribers." + +"Here," said the incensed Mr. Blows, "listen me." + +"Take him away," said the president, with great dignity. "Clear the +room. Strangers outside." + +Two of the members approached Mr. Blows and, placing their hands on his +shoulders, requested him to withdraw. He went at last, the centre of a +dozen panting men, and becoming wedged on the narrow staircase, spoke +fluently on such widely differing subjects as the rights of man and the +shape of the president's nose. + +He finished his remarks in the street, but, becoming aware at last of a +strange lack of sympathy on the part of his audience, he shook off the +arm of the faithful Mr. Carter and stalked moodily home. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Spirit of Avarice, by W.W. 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