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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/16521-8.txt b/16521-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..008f283 --- /dev/null +++ b/16521-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,7919 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Fanny Goes to War, by Pat Beauchamp + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Fanny Goes to War + +Author: Pat Beauchamp + +Release Date: August 13, 2005 [EBook #16521] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FANNY GOES TO WAR *** + + + + +Produced by Internet Archive Canadian Libraries, Irma +Spehar, Emmy and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team +at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +FANNY GOES TO WAR + +BY PAT BEAUCHAMP +(FIRST AID NURSING YEOMANRY) + +WITH AN INTRODUCTION BY +MAJOR-GENERAL H.N. THOMPSON, +K.C.M.G, C.B., D.S.O + + +LONDON +JOHN MURRAY, ALBEMARLE STREET, W. +1919 + +ALL RIGHTS RESERVED + +To T.H. + + + + +INTRODUCTION + + +I eagerly avail myself of the Author's invitation to write a foreword to +her book, as it gives me an opportunity of expressing something of the +admiration, of the wonder, of the intense brotherly sympathy and +affection--almost adoration--which has from time to time overwhelmed me +when witnessing the work of our women during the Great War. + +They have been in situations where, five short years ago, no one would +ever have thought of finding them. They have witnessed and taken active +part in scenes nerve-racking and heart-rending beyond the power of +description. Often it has been my duty to watch car-load after car-load +of severely wounded being dumped into the reception marquees of a +Casualty Clearing Station. There they would be placed in long rows +awaiting their turn, and there, amid the groans of the wounded and the +loud gaspings of the gassed, at the mere approach of a sister there +would be a perceptible change and every conscious eye would brighten as +with a ray of fresh hope. In the resuscitation and moribund marquees, +nothing was more pathetic than to see "Sister," with her notebook, +stooping over some dying lad, catching his last messages to his loved +ones. + +Women worked amid such scenes for long hours day after day, amid scenes +as no mere man could long endure, and yet their nerves held out; it may +be because they were inspired by the nature of their work. I have seen +them, too, continue that work under intermittent shelling and bombing, +repeated day after day and night after night, and it was the rarest +thing to find one whose nerves gave way. I have seen others rescue +wounded from falling houses, and drive their cars boldly into streets +with bricks and debris flying. + +I have also, alas! seen them grievously wounded; and on one occasion, +killed, and found their comrades continuing their work in the actual +presence of their dead. + +The free homes of Britain little realise what our war women have been +through, or what an undischarged debt is owing to them. + +How few now realise to what a large extent they were responsible for the +fighting spirit, for the _morale_, for the tenacity which won the war! +The feeling, the knowledge that their women were at hand to succour and +to tend them when they fell raised the fighting spirit of the men and +made them brave and confident. + +The above qualities are well exemplified by the conduct and bearing of +our Authoress herself, who, when grievously injured, never lost her head +or her consciousness, but through half an hour sat quietly on the +road-side beside the wreck of her car and the mangled remains of her +late companion. Rumour has it that she asked for and smoked a +cigarette. + +Such heroism in a young girl strongly appealed to the imagination of our +French and Belgian Allies, and two rows of medals bedeck her khaki +jacket. + +Other natural qualities of our race, which largely helped to win the +war, are brought out very vividly, although unconsciously, in this book, +_e.g._ the spirit of cheerfulness; the power to forget danger and +hardship; the faculty of seeing the humorous side of things; of making +the best of things; the spirit of comradeship which sweetened life. + +These qualities were nowhere more evident than among the F.A.N.Y. Their +_esprit-de-corps_, their gaiety, their discipline, their smartness and +devotion when duty called were infectious, almost an inspiration to +those who witnessed them. + +Throughout the war the "Fannys" were renowned for their resourcefulness. +They were always ready to take on any and every job, from starting up a +frozen car to nursing a bad typhoid case, and they rose to the occasion +every time. + + H.N. THOMPSON, K.C.M.G., C.B., D.S.O., + _Major-General_. + + _Director of Medical Services, British Army of the Rhine._ + + _Assistant Director Medical Services, 2nd Division, 1914; + ditto 48th Division, 1915; Deputy-Director Medical Services, + VI Corps, May 1915 to July 1917; Director Medical Services, + First Army, July 1917 to April 1919._ + +CONTENTS + +CHAPTER PAGE + + I. IN CAMP BEFORE THE WAR 1 + + II. FIRST IMPRESSIONS 11 + + III. THE JOURNEY UP TO THE FRONT 19 + + IV. BEHIND THE TRENCHES 27 + + V. IN THE TRENCHES 35 + + VI. THE TYPHOID WARDS 41 + + VII. THE ZEPPELIN RAID 49 + + VIII. CONCERNING BATHS, "JOLIE-ANNETTE," "MARIE-MARGOT" AND ST. + INGLEVERT 59 + + IX. TYPHOIDS AGAIN, AND PARIS IN 1915. 70 + + X. CONCERNING A CONCERT, CANTEEN WORK, HOUSEKEEPING, THE ENGLISH + CONVOY, AND GOOD-BYE, LAMARCK. 88 + + XI. THE ENGLISH CONVOY 111 + + XII. THE PASSING OF THE LITTLE LORRY, "OLD BILL" AND "'ERB" AT + AUDRICQ 129 + + XIII. CONVOY LIFE 152 + + XIV. CHRISTMAS, 1916 176 + + XV. CONVOY PETS, COMMANDEERING, AND THE "FANTASTIKS" 197 + + XVI. THE LAST RIDE 216 + + XVII. HOSPITALS: FRANCE AND ENGLAND 240 + +XVIII. ROEHAMPTON: "BOB" THE GREY, AND THE ARMISTICE 267 + + XIX. AFTER TWO YEARS 283 + + + + +FANNY GOES TO WAR + + + + +CHAPTER I + +IN CAMP BEFORE THE WAR + + +The First Aid Nursing Yeomanry was founded in 1910 and now numbers +roughly about four hundred voluntary members. + +It was originally intended to supplement the R.A.M.C. in field work, +stretcher bearing, ambulance driving, etc.--its duties being more or +less embodied in the title. + +An essential point was that each member should be able to ride bareback +or otherwise, as much difficulty had been found in transporting nurses +from one place to another on the veldt in the South African War. Men had +often died through lack of attention, as the country was too rough to +permit of anything but a saddle horse to pass. + +The First Aid Nursing Yeomanry was on active service soon after War was +declared and, though it is not universally known, they were the pioneers +of all the women's corps subsequently working in France. + +Before they had been out very long they were affectionately known as +the F.A.N.Y.'s, to all and sundry, and in an incredibly short space of +time had units working with the British, French, and Belgian Armies in +the field. + +It was in the Autumn of 1913 that, picking up the _Mirror_ one day, I +saw a snapshot of a girl astride on horseback leaping a fence in a khaki +uniform and topee. Underneath was merely the line "Women Yeomanry in +Camp," and nothing more. "That," said I, pointing out the photo to a +friend, "is the sort of show I'd like to belong to: I'm sick of ambling +round the Row on a Park hack. It would be a rag to go into camp with a +lot of other girls. I'm going to write to the _Mirror_ for particulars +straight away." + +I did so; but got no satisfaction at all, as the note accompanying the +photo had been mislaid. However, they did inform me there was such a +Corps in existence, but beyond that they could give me no particulars. + +I spent weeks making enquiries on all sides. "Oh, yes, certainly there +was a Girls' Yeomanry Corps." "Where can I join it?" I would ask +breathlessly. "Ah, that I can't say," would be the invariable reply. + +The more obstacles I met with only made me the more determined to +persevere. I went out of my way to ask all sorts of possible and +impossible people on the off-chance that they might know; but it was a +long time before I could run it to earth. "Deeds not words" seemed to be +their motto. + +One night at a small dance my partner told me he had just joined the +Surrey Yeomanry; that brought the subject up once more and I confided +all my troubles to him. Joy of joys! He had actually _seen_ some of the +Corps riding in Hounslow Barracks. It was plain sailing from that +moment, and I hastened to write to the Adjutant of the said Barracks to +obtain full particulars. + +Within a few days I received a reply and a week later met the C.O. of +the F.A.N.Y.'s, for an interview. + +To my delight I heard the Corps was shortly going into camp, and I was +invited to go down for a week-end to see how I liked it before I +officially became a member. When the day arrived my excitement, as I +stepped into the train at Waterloo, knew no bounds. Here I was at last +_en route_ for the elusive Yeomanry Camp! + +Arrived at Brookwood, I chartered an ancient fly and in about twenty +minutes or so espied the camp in a field some distance from the road +along which we were driving. "'Ard up for a job _I_ should say!" said my +cabby, nodding jocosely towards the khaki figures working busily in the +distance. I ignored this sally as I dismissed him and set off across the +fields with my suit case. + +There was a large mess tent, a store tent, some half dozen or more bell +tents, a smoky, but serviceable-looking, field kitchen, and at the end +of the field were tethered the horses! As I drew nearer, I felt horribly +shy and was glad I had selected my very plainest suit and hat, as +several pairs of eyes looked up from polishing bits and bridles to scan +me from top to toe. + +I was shown into the mess tent, where I was told to wait for the C.O., +and in the meantime made friends with "Castor," the Corps' bull-dog and +mascot, who was lying in a clothes-basket with a bandaged paw as the +result of an argument with a regimental pal at Bisley. + +A sudden diversion was caused by a severe thunderstorm which literally +broke right over the camp. I heard the order ring out "To the +horse-lines!" and watched (through a convenient hole in the canvas) +several "troopers" flying helter-skelter down the field. + +To everyone's disappointment, however, those old skins never turned a +hair; there was not even the suggestion of a stampede. I cautiously +pushed my suit-case under the mess table in the hope of keeping it dry, +for the rain was coming down in torrents, and in places poured through +the canvas roof in small rivulets. (Even in peace-time comfort in the +F.A.N.Y. Camp was at a minimum!) + +They all trooped in presently, very wet and jolly, and Lieutenant Ashley +Smith (McDougal) introduced me as a probable recruit. When the storm was +over she kindly lent me an old uniform, and I was made to feel quite at +home by being handed about thirty knives and asked to rub them in the +earth to get them clean. The cooks loved new recruits! + +Feeling just then was running very high over the Irish question. I +learnt a contingent had been offered and accepted, in case of +hostilities, and that the C.O. had even been over to Belfast to arrange +about stables and housing! + +One enthusiast asked me breathlessly (it was Cole-Hamilton) "Which side +are you on?" I'm afraid I knew nothing much about either and shamelessly +countered it by asking, "Which are you?" "Ulster, of course," she +replied. "I'm with you," said I, "it's all the same to me so long as I'm +there for the show." + +I thoroughly enjoyed that week-end and, of course, joined the Corps. In +July of that year we had great fun in the long summer camp at Pirbright. + +Work was varied, sometimes we rode out with the regiments stationed at +Bisley on their field days and looked after any casualties. (We had a +horse ambulance in those days which followed on these occasions and was +regarded as rather a dud job.) Other days some were detailed for work at +the camp hospital near by to help the R.A.M.C. men, others to exercise +the horses, clean the officers' boots and belts, etc., and, added to +these duties, was all the everyday work of the camp, the grooming and +watering of the horses, etc. Each one groomed her own mount, but in some +cases one was shared between two girls. "Grooming time is the only time +when I appreciate having half a horse," one of these remarked cheerily +to me. That hissing noise so beloved of grooms is extraordinarily hard +to acquire--personally, I needed all the breath I had to cope at all! + +The afternoons were spent doing stretcher drill: having lectures on +First Aid and Nursing from a R.A.M.C. Sergeant-Major, and, when it was +very hot, enjoying a splash in the tarpaulin-lined swimming bath the +soldiers had kindly made for us. Rides usually took place in the +evenings, and when bedtime came the weary troopers were only too ready +to turn in! Our beds were on the floor and of the "biscuit" variety, +being three square _paillasse_ arrangements looking like giant +reproductions of the now too well known army "tooth breakers." We had +brown army blankets, and it was no uncommon thing to find black earth +beetles and earwigs crawling among them! After months of active service +these details appear small, but in the summer of 1914 they were real +terrors. Before leaving the tents in the morning each "biscuit" had to +be neatly piled on the other and all the blankets folded, and then we +had to sally forth to learn the orders of the day, who was to be orderly +to our two officers, who was to water the horses, etc., etc., and by the +time it was eight a.m. we had already done a hard day's work. + +One particular day stands out in my memory as being a specially +strenuous one. The morning's work was over, and the afternoon was set +aside for practising for the yearly sports. The rescue race was by far +the most thrilling, its object being to save anyone from the enemy who +had been left on the field without means of transport. There was a good +deal of discussion as to who were to be the rescued and who the +rescuers. Sergeant Wicks explained to all and sundry that her horse +objected strongly to anyone sitting on its tail and that it always +bucked on these occasions. No one seemed particularly anxious to be +saved on that steed, and my heart sank as her eye alighted on me. Being +a new member I felt it was probably a test, and when the inevitable +question was asked I murmured faintly I'd be delighted. I made my way to +the far end of the field with the others fervently hoping I shouldn't +land on my head. + +At a given command the rescuers galloped up, wheeled round, and, +slipping the near foot from the stirrup, left it for the rescued to jump +up by. I was soon up and sitting directly behind the saddle with one +foot in the stirrup and a hand in Sergeant Wicks' belt. (Those of you +who know how slight she is can imagine my feeling of security!) Off we +set with every hope of reaching the post first, and I was just settling +down to enjoy myself when going over a little dip in the field two +terrific bucks landed us high in the air! Luckily I fell "soft," but as +I picked myself up I couldn't help wondering whether in some cases +falling into the enemy's hand might not be the lesser evil! I spent the +next ten minutes catching the "Bronco!" After that, we retired to our +mess for tea, on the old Union Jack, very ready for it after our +efforts. + +We had just turned in that night and drawn up the army blankets, +excessively scratchy they were too, when the bugle sounded for everyone +to turn out. (This was rather a favourite stunt of the C.O.'s.) Luckily +it was a bright moonlight night, and we learnt we were to make for a +certain hill, beyond Bisley, carrying with us stretchers and a tent for +an advanced dressing station. Subdued groans greeted this piece of news, +but we were soon lined up in groups of four--two in front, two behind, +and with two stretchers between the four. These were carried on our +shoulders for a certain distance, and at the command "Change +stretchers!" they were slipped down by our sides. This stunt had to be +executed very neatly and with precision, and woe betide anyone who +bungled it. It was ten o'clock when we reached Bisley Camp, and I +remember to this day the surprised look on the sentry's face, in the +moonlight, as we marched through. It was always a continual source of +wonderment to them that girls should do anything so much like hard work +for so-called amusement. That march seemed interminable--but singing and +whistling as we went along helped us tremendously. Little did we think +how this training would stand us in good stead during the long days on +active service that followed. At last a halt was called, and luckily at +this point there was a nice dry ditch into which we quickly flopped with +our backs to the hedge and our feet on the road. It made an ideal +armchair! + +We resumed the march, and striking off the road came to a rough clearing +where the tent was already being erected by an advance party. We were +lined up and divided into groups, some as stretcher bearers, some as +"wounded," some as nurses to help the "doctor," etc. The wounded were +given slips of paper, on which their particular "wound" was described, +and told to go off and make themselves scarce, till they were found and +carried in (a coveted job). When they had selected nice soft dry spots +they lay down and had a quiet well-earned nap until the stretcher +bearers discovered them. Occasionally they were hard to find, and a +panting bearer would call out "I say, wounded, _give_ a groan!" and they +were located. First Aid bandages were applied to the "wound" and, if +necessary, impromptu splints made from the trees near by. The patient +was then placed on the stretcher and taken back to the "dressing +station." "I'm slipping off the stretcher at this angle," she would +occasionally complain. "Shut up," the panting stretcher bearers would +reply, "you're unconscious!" + +When all were brought in, places were changed, and the stretcher bearers +became the wounded and vice versa. We got rather tired of this pastime +about 12.30 but there was still another wounded to be brought in. She +had chosen the bottom of a heathery slope and took some finding. It was +the C.O. She feigned delirium and threw her arms about in a wild manner. +The poor bearers were feeling too exhausted to appreciate this piece of +acting, and heather is extremely slippery stuff. When we had struggled +back with her the soi-disant doctor asked for the diagnosis. "Drunk and +disorderly," replied one of them, stepping smartly forward and saluting! +This somewhat broke up the proceedings, and _lèse majesté_ was excused +on the grounds that it was too dark to recognise it was the C.O. The +tent pegs were pulled up and the tent pulled down and we all thankfully +tramped back to camp to sleep the sleep of the just till the reveille +sounded to herald another day. + + + + +CHAPTER II + +FIRST IMPRESSIONS + + +The last Chapter was devoted to the F.A.N.Y.'s in camp before the War, +but from now onwards will be chronicled facts that befell them on active +service. + +When war broke out in August 1914 Lieutenant Ashley Smith lost no time +in offering the Corps' services to the War Office. To our intense +disappointment these were refused. However, F.A.N.Y.'s are not easily +daunted. The Belgian Army, at that time, had no organised medical corps +in the field, and informed us they would be extremely grateful if we +would take over a Hospital for them. Lieutenant Smith left for Antwerp +in September 1914, and had arranged to take a house there for a Hospital +when the town fell; her flight to Ghent where she stayed to the last +with a dying English officer, until the Germans arrived, and her +subsequent escape to Holland have been told elsewhere. (_A F.A.N.Y. in +France--Nursing Adventures._) Suffice it to say we were delighted to see +her safely back among us again in October; and on the last day of that +month the first contingent of F.A.N.Y.'s left for active service, hardly +any of them over twenty-one. + +I was unfortunately not able to join them until January 1915; and never +did time drag so slowly as in those intervening months. I spent the time +in attending lectures and hospital, driving a car and generally picking +up every bit of useful information I could. The day arrived at last and +Coley and I were, with the exception of the Queen of the Belgians +(travelling incognito) and her lady-in-waiting, the only women on board. + +The Hospital we had given us was for Belgian Tommies, and called +Lamarck, and had been a Convent school before the War. There were fifty +beds for "_blessés_" and fifty for typhoid patients, which at that +period no other Hospital in the place would take. It was an extremely +virulent type of pneumonic typhoid. These cases were in a building apart +from the main Hospital and across the yard. Dominating both buildings +was the cathedral of Notre Dame, with its beautiful East window facing +our yard. + +The top floor of the main building was a priceless room and reserved for +us. Curtained off at the far end were the beds of the chauffeurs who had +to sleep on the premises while the rest were billeted in the town; the +other end resolved itself into a big untidy, but oh so jolly, sitting +room. Packing cases were made into seats and piles of extra blankets +were covered and made into "tumpties," while round the stove stood the +interminable clothes horses airing the shirts and sheets, etc., which +Lieutenant Franklin brooded over with a watchful eye! It was in this +room we all congregated at ten o'clock every morning for twenty precious +minutes during which we had tea and biscuits, read our letters, swanked +to other wards about the bad cases we had got in, and generally talked +shop and gossiped. There was an advanced dressing station at Oostkerke +where three of the girls worked in turn, and we also took turns to go up +to the trenches on the Yser at night, with fresh clothes for the men and +bandages and dressings for those who had been wounded. + +At one time we were billeted in a fresh house every three nights which, +as the reader may imagine in those "moving" times, had its +disadvantages. After a time, as a great favour, an empty shop was +allowed us as a permanency. It rejoiced in the name of "Le Bon Génie" +and was at the corner of a street, the shop window extending along the +two sides. It was this "shop window" we used as a dormitory, after +pasting the lower panes with brown paper. When they first heard at home +that we "slept in a shop window" they were mildly startled. We were so +short of beds that the night nurses tumbled into ours as soon as they +were vacated in the morning, so there was never much fear of suffering +from a damp one. + +Our patients were soldiers of the Belgian line and cavalry regiments and +at first I was put in a _blessé_ ward. I had originally gone out with +the idea of being one of the chauffeurs; but we were so short of nurses +that I willingly went into the wards instead, where we worked under +trained sisters. The men were so jolly and patient and full of gratitude +to the English "Miskes" (which was an affectionate diminutive of +"Miss"). It was a sad day when we had to clear the beds to make ready +for fresh cases. I remember going down to the Gare Maritime one day +before the Hospital ship left for Cherbourg, where they were all taken. +Never shall I forget the sight. In those days passenger ships had been +hastily converted into Hospital ships and the accommodation was very +different from that of to-day. All the cases from my ward were +"stretchers" and indeed hardly fit to be moved. I went down the +companion way, and what a scene met my eyes. The floor of the saloon was +packed with stretchers all as close together as possible. It seemed +terrible to believe that every one[1] of those men was seriously wounded. +The stretchers were so close together it was impossible to try and move +among them, so I stayed on the bottom rung of the ladder and threw the +cigarettes to the different men who were well enough to smoke them. The +discomfort they endured must have been terrible, for from a letter I +subsequently received I learnt they were three days on the journey. In +those days when the Germans were marching on Calais, it was up to the +medical authorities to pass the wounded through as quickly as possible. + +Often the men could only speak Flemish, but I did not find much +difficulty in understanding it. If you speak German with a broad +Cumberland accent I assure you you can make yourself understood quite +easily! It was worth while trying anyway, and it did one's heart good to +see how their faces lighted up. + +There were some famous characters in the Hospital, one of them being +Jefké, the orderly in Ward I, who at times could be tender as a woman, +at others a veritable clown keeping the men in fits of laughter, then as +suddenly lapsing into a profound melancholy and reading a horrible +little greasy prayer book assuring us most solemnly that his one idea in +life was to enter the Church. Though he stole jam right and left his +heart was in the right place, for the object of his depredations was +always some extra tasty dish for a specially bad _blessé_. He had the +longest of eyelashes, and his expression when caught would be so comical +it was impossible to be angry with him. + +Another famous "impayable" was the coffin-cart man who came on occasions +to drive the men to their last resting place. The Coffin cart was a +melancholy looking vehicle resembling in appearance a dilapidated old +crow, as much as anything, or a large bird of prey with its torn black +canvas sides that flapped mournfully like huge wings in the wind as +Pierre drove it along the streets. I could never repress a shiver when I +saw it flapping along. The driver was far from being a sorry individual +with his crisp black moustaches _bien frisés_ and his merry eye. He +explained to me in a burst of confidence that his _métier_ in peace +times was that of a trick cyclist on the Halls. What a contrast from +his present job. He promised to borrow a bicycle on the morrow and give +an exhibition for our benefit in the yard. He did so, and was certainly +no mean performer. The only day I ever saw him really downcast was when +he came to bid good-bye. "What, Pierre," said I, "you don't mean to say +you are leaving us?" "Yes, Miske, for punishment--I will explain how it +arrived. Look you, to give pleasure to my young lady I took her for a +joy-ride, a very little one, on the coffin cart, and on returning behold +we were caught, _voilà_, and now I go to the trenches!" I could not help +laughing, he looked so downcast, and the idea of his best girl enjoying +a ride in that lugubrious car struck me as being the funniest thing I +had heard for some time. + +We were a never-failing source of wonderment to the French inhabitants +of the town. Our manly Yeomanry uniform filled them with awe and +admiration. I overheard a chemist saying to one of his clients as we +were passing out of his shop, "Truly, until one hears their voices, one +would say they were men." + +"There's a compliment for us," said I, to Struttie. "I didn't know we +had manly faces until this moment." + +After some time when work was not at such a high pressure, two of us +went out riding in turns on the sands with one of the Commandants. +Belgian military saddles took some getting used to with the peak in +front and the still higher one behind, not to mention the excessive +slipperiness of the surface. His favourite pastime on the return ride +was to play follow my leader up and down the sand dunes, and it was his +great delight to go streaking up the very highest, with the sand +crumbling and slipping behind him, and we perforce had to follow and lie +almost flat on the horse's backs as we descended the "precipice" the +other side. We felt English honour was at stake and with our hearts in +our mouths (at least mine was!) followed at all costs. + +If we were off duty in the evening we hurried back to the "shop window" +buying eggs _en route_ and anything else we fancied for supper; then we +undressed hastily and thoroughly enjoyed our picnic meal instead of +having it in the hospital kitchen, with the sanded floor and the medley +of Belgian cooks in the background and the banging of saucepans as an +accompaniment. Two of the girls kept their billet off the Grand Place as +a permanency. It was in a funny old-fashioned house in a dark street +known universally as "the dug-out"--Madame was fat and capable, with a +large heart. The French people at first were rather at a loss to place +the English "Mees" socially and one day two of us looked in to ask +Madame's advice on how to cook something. She turned to us in +astonishment. "How now, you know not how to cook a thing simple as that? +Who then makes the 'cuisine' for you at home? Surely not Madame your +mother when there are young girls such as you in the house?" We gazed +at her dumbly while she sniffed in disgust. "Such a thing is unheard of +in my country," she continued wrathfully. "I wonder you have not shame +at your age to confess such ignorance"--"What _would_ she say," said my +friend to me when she had gone, "if I told her we have _two_ cooks at +home?" + +This house of Madame's was built in such a way that some of the bedrooms +jutted out over the shops in the narrow little streets. Thompson and +Struttie who had a room there were over a Café Chantant known as the +"Bijou"--a high class place of entertainment! Sunday night was a gala +performance and I was often asked to a "scrambled-egg" supper during +which, with forks suspended in mid air, we listened breathlessly to the +sounds of revelry beneath. Some of the performers had extremely good +voices and we could almost, but not quite, hear the words (perhaps it +was just as well). What ripping tunes they had! I can remember one +especially when, during the chorus, all the audience beat time with +their feet and joined in. We were evolving wild schemes of disguising +ourselves as _poilus_ and going in a body to witness the show, but +unfortunately it was one of those things that is "not done" in the best +circles! + + + + +CHAPTER III + +THE JOURNEY UP TO THE FRONT + + +Soon my turn came to go up to the trenches. The day had at last arrived! +We were not due to go actually _into_ the trenches till after dark in +case of drawing fire, but we set off early, as we had some distance to +go and stores to deliver at dressing stations. Two of the trained +nurses, Sister Lampen and Joynson, were of the party, and two +F.A.N.Y.'s; the rest of the good old "Mors" ambulance was filled with +sacks of shirts, mufflers, and socks, together with the indispensable +first-aid chests and packets of extra dressings in case of need. + +Our first visit was made to the Belgian Headquarters in the town for our +_laisser passers_, without which we would not be allowed to pass the +sentries at the barriers. We were also given the _mots du jour_ or +pass-words for the day, the latter of which came into operation only +when we were in the zone of fire. I will describe what happened in +detail, as it was a very fair sample of the average day up at the front. +The road along which we travelled was, of course, lined with the +ubiquitous poplar tree, placed at regular intervals as far as the eye +could see. The country was flat to a degree, with cleverly hidden +entrenchments at intervals, for this was the famous main road to Calais +along which the Kaiser so ardently longed to march. + +Barriers occurred frequently placed slantwise across the roads, where +sentries stood with fixed bayonets, and through which no one could pass +unless the _laisser passer_ was produced. Some of those barriers were +quite tricky affairs to drive through in a big ambulance, and reminded +me of a gymkhana! It was quite usual in those days to be stopped by a +soldier waiting on the road, who, with a gallant bow and salute, asked +your permission to "mount behind" and have a lift to so and so. In fact, +if you were on foot and wanted to get anywhere quickly it was always +safe to rely on a military car or ambulance coming along, and then +simply wave frantically and ask for a lift. Very much a case of share +and share alike. + +We passed many regiments riding along, and very gay they looked with +their small cocked caps and tassels that dangled jauntily over one eye +(this was before they got into khaki). The regiments were either French +or Belgian, for no British were in that sector at this time. Soon we +arrived at the picturesque entry into Dunkirk, with its drawbridge and +mediæval towers and grey city wall; here our passes were again examined, +and there was a long queue of cars waiting to get through as we drew +up. Once "across the Rubicon" we sped through the town and in time came +to Furnes with its quaint old market place. Already the place was +showing signs of wear and tear. Shell holes in some of the roofs and a +good many broken panes, together with the general air of desertion, all +combined to make us feel we were near the actual fighting line. We +learnt that bombs had been dropped there only that morning. (This was +early in 1915, and since then the place has been reduced to almost +complete ruin.) We sped on, and could see one of the famous coastal +forts on the horizon. So different from what one had always imagined a +fort would look like. "A green hill far away," seems best to describe +it, I think. It wasn't till one looked hard that one could see small +dark splotches that indicated where the cannon were. + +A Belgian whom we were "lifting" ("lorry jumping" is now the correct +term!) pointed out to us a huge factory, now in English hands, which had +been owned before the war by a German. Under cover of the so-called +"factory" he had built a secret gun emplacement for a large gun, to +train on this same fort and demolish it when the occasion arose. At this +point we saw the first English soldiers that day in motor boats on the +canal, and what a smile of welcome they gave us! + +Presently we came to lines of Belgian Motor transport drawn up at the +sides of the road, car after car, waiting patiently to get on. Without +exaggeration this line was a mile in length, and we simply had to crawl +past, as there was barely room for a large ambulance on that narrow and +excessively muddy road. The drivers were all in excellent spirits, and +nodded and smiled as we passed--occasionally there was an officer's car +sandwiched in between, and those within gravely saluted. + +About this time a very cheery Belgian artillery-man who was exchanging +to another regiment, came on board and kept us highly amused. Souvenirs +were the aim and end of existence just then, and he promised us shell +heads galore when he came down the line. On leaving the car, as a token +of his extreme gratitude, he pressed his artillery cap into our hands +saying he would have no further need of it in his new regiment, and +would we accept it as a souvenir! + +The roads in Belgium need some explaining for those who have not had the +opportunity to see them. Firstly there is the _pavé_, and a very popular +picture with us after that day was one which came out in the _Sketch_ of +a Tommy in a lorry asking a haughty French dragoon to "Alley off the +bloomin' pavee--vite." Well, this famous _pavé_ consists of cobbles +about six inches square, and these extend across the road to about the +width of a large cart--On either side there is mud--with a capital M, +such as one doesn't often see--thick and clayey and of a peculiarly +gluey substance, and in some places quite a foot deep. You can imagine +the feeling at the back of your spine as you are squeezing past another +car. If you aren't extremely careful plop go the side wheels off the +"bloomin' pavee" into the mud beyond and it takes half the Belgian Army +to help to heave you on to the "straight and narrow" path once more. + +It was just about this time we heard our first really heavy firing and +it gave us a queer thrill to hear the constant boom-boom of the guns +like a continuous thunderstorm. We began to feel fearfully hungry, and +stopped beside a high bank flanking a canal and not far from a small +café. Bunny and I went to get some hot water. It was a tumble-down place +enough, and as we pushed the door open (on which, by the way, was the +notice in French, "During the bombardment one enters by the side door") +we found the room full of men drinking coffee and smoking. I bashfully +made my way towards one of the oldest women I have ever seen and asked +her in a low voice for some hot water. As luck would have it she was +deaf as a post, and the whole room listened in interested silence as +with scarlet face I yelled out my demands in my best French. We returned +triumphantly to the waiting ambulance and had a very jolly lunch to the +now louder accompaniment of the guns. The passing soldiers took a great +interest in us and called out whatever English words they knew, the most +popular being "Good night." + +We soon started on our way again, and at this point there was actually a +bend in the road. Just before we came to it there was a whistling, +sobbing sound in the air and then an explosion somewhere ahead of us. We +all shrank instinctively, and I glanced sideways at my companion, hoping +she hadn't noticed, to find that she was looking at me, and we both +laughed without explaining. + +As we turned the corner, the usual flat expanse of country greeted our +eyes, and a solitary red tiled farmhouse on the right attracted our +attention, in front of which was a group of soldiers. On drawing near we +saw that this was the spot where the shell had landed and that there +were casualties. We drew up and got down hastily, taking dressings with +us. The sight that met my eyes is one I shall never forget, and, in +fact, cannot describe. Four men had just been blown to pieces--I leave +the details to your imagination, but it gave me a sudden shock to +realize that a few minutes earlier those remains had been living men +walking along the road laughing and talking. + +The soldiers, French, standing looking on, seemed more or less dazed. +While they assured us we could do nothing, the body of a fifth soldier +who had been hit on the head by a piece of the same shell, and +instantaneously killed, was being borne on a stretcher into the farm. It +all seemed curiously unreal. + +One of the men silently handed me a bit of the shell, which was still +warm. It was just a chance that we had not stopped opposite that farm +for lunch, as we assuredly would have done had it not been hidden +beyond the bend in the road. The noise of firing was now very loud, and +though the sun was shining brightly on the farm, the road we were +destined to follow was sombre looking with a lowering sky overhead. +Another shell came over and burst in front of us to the right. For an +instant I felt in an awful funk, and my one idea was to flee from that +sinister spot as fast as I could. We seemed to be going right for it, +"looking for trouble," in fact, as the Tommies would say, and it gave +one rather a funny sinking feeling in one's tummy! A shell might come +whizzing along so easily just as the last one had done.[2] Someone at that +moment said "Let's go back," and with that all my fears vanished in a +moment as if by magic. "Rather not, this is what we've come for," said a +F.A.N.Y., "hurry up and get in, it's no use staying here," and soon we +were whizzing along that road again and making straight for the steady +boom-boom, and from then onwards a spirit of subdued excitement filled +us all. Stray shells burst at intervals, and it seemed not unlikely they +were potting at us from Dixmude. + +We passed houses looking more and more dilapidated and the road got +muddier and muddier. Finally we arrived at the village of Ramscapelle. +It was like passing through a village of the dead--not a house left +whole, few walls standing, and furniture lying about haphazard. We +proceeded along the one main street of the village until we came to a +house with green shutters which had been previously described to us as +the Belgian headquarters. It was in a better state than the others, and +a small flag indicated we had arrived at our destination. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +BEHIND THE TRENCHES + + +We got out and leaped the mud from the _pavé_ to the doorstep, and an +orderly came forward and conducted us to a sitting room at the rear +where Major R. welcomed us, and immediately ordered coffee. We were +greatly impressed by the calm way in which he looked at things. He +pointed with pride to a gaily coloured print from the one and only "Vie" +(what would the dug-outs at the front have done without "La Vie" and +Kirchner?), which covered a newly made shell hole in the wall. He also +showed us places where shrapnel was embedded; and from the window we saw +a huge hole in the back garden made by a "Black Maria." Beside it was a +grave headed by a little rough wooden cross and surmounted by one of +those gay tasselled caps we had seen early that morning, though it +seemed more like last week, so much had happened since then. + +As it was only possible to go into the trenches at dusk we still had +some time to spare, and after drinking everybody's health in some +excellent benedictine, Major R. suggested we should make a tour of +inspection of the village. "The bombardment is over for the day," he +added, "so you need have no fear." I went out wondering at his certainty +that the Boche would _not_ bombard again that afternoon. It transpired +later that they did so regularly at the same time every afternoon as +part of the day's work! There did come a time, however, when they +changed the programme, but that was later, on another visit. + +We made for the church which had according to custom been shelled more +than the houses. The large crucifix was lying with arms outstretched on +a pile of wreckage, the body pitted with shrapnel. The curé accompanied +us, and it was all the poor old man could do to keep from breaking down +as he led us mournfully through that devastated cemetery. Some of the +graves, even those with large slabs over them, had been shelled to such +an extent that the stone coffins beneath could clearly be seen, half +opened, with rotting grave-clothes, and in others even the skeletons had +been disinterred. New graves, roughly fashioned like the one we had seen +in the back garden at headquarters, were dotted all over the place. +Somehow they were not so sinister as those old heavily slabbed ones +disturbed after years of peace. The curé took me into the church, the +walls of which were still standing, and begged me to take a photo of a +special statue (this was before cameras were tabooed), which I did. I +had to take a "time" as the light was so bad, and quite by luck it came +out splendidly and I was able to send him a copy. + +It was all most depressing and I was jolly glad to get away from the +place. On the way back we saw a battery of _sept-cinqs_ (French +seventy-fives) cleverly hidden by branches. They had just been moved up +into these new positions. Of course the booming of the guns went on all +the time and we were told Nieuport was having its daily "ration." We had +several other places to go to to deliver Hospital stores; also two +advanced dressing stations to visit, so we pushed off, promising Major +R. to be back at 6.30. + +We had to go in the direction of Dixmude, then in German occupation, and +the mud at this point was too awful for words, while at intervals there +were huge shell holes full of water looking like small circular ponds. +Luckily for us they were never right in the middle of the road, but +always a little to one side or the other, and just left us enough _pavé_ +to squeeze past on, which was really very thoughtful of the Boche! + +The country looked indescribably desolate; but funnily enough there were +a lot of birds flying about, mostly in flocks. Two little partridges +quietly strutted across the road and seemed quite unperturbed! + +Further on we came across a dead horse, the first of many. It had been +hit in the flank by a shell. It was a sad sight; the poor creature was +just left lying by the side of the road, and I shall never forget it. +The crows had already taken out its eyes. I must say that that sight +affected me much more than the men I had seen earlier in the day. There +was no one then to bury horses. + +We came to the little _poste de secours_ and the officer told us they +had been heavily shelled that morning and he sent out an orderly to dig +up some of the fuse-tops that had fallen in the field beyond. He gave us +as souvenirs three lovely shell heads that had fused at the wrong time. +Everything seemed strangely unreal, and I wondered at times if I was +awake. He was delighted with the Hospital stores we had brought and +showed us his small dressing station, from which all the wounded had +been removed after the bombardment was over. We then went on to another +at Caeskerke within sight of Dixmude, the ruins of which could plainly +be seen. I found it hard to realize that this was really the much talked +of "front." One half expected to see rows and rows of regiments instead +of everything being hidden away. Except for the extreme desolation and +continual sound of firing we might have been anywhere. + +We were held up by a sentry further on, and he demanded the _mot de +jour_. I leant out of the car (it always has to be whispered) and +murmured "Gustave" in a low voice into his ear. "_Non, Mademoiselle_," +he said sadly, "_pas ça_." "Does he mean it isn't his own Christian +name?" I asked myself. Still it was the name we had been given at the +État Major as the pass word. I repeated it again with the same result. +"I assure you the Colonel himself at C---- gave it to me," I added +desperately. He still shook his head, and then I remembered that some +days they had names of people and others the names of places, and +perhaps I had been given the wrong one. "Paris" I hazarded. He again +shook his head, and I decided to be firm and in a voice of conviction +said, "Allons, c'est 'Arras,' alors." He looked doubtful, and said, +"Perhaps with the English it is that to-day." He was giving me a +loophole and I responded with fervour, "Yes, yes, assuredly it is +'Arras' with the English," and he waved us past. I thought regretfully +how easily a German spy might bluff the sentry in a similar manner. + +Time being precious I salved my conscience about it as we drew up in +Pervyse and decided to make tea. I saw a movement among the ruins and +there, peeping round one of the walls, was a ragged hungry looking +infant about eight years of age. We made towards him, but he fled, and +picking our way over the ruins we actually found a family in residence +in a miserable hovel behind the onetime Hôtel de Ville. There was an old +couple, man and wife, and a flock of ragged children, the remnants of +different families which had been wiped out. They only spoke Flemish and +I brought out the few sentences I knew, whereupon the old dame seized my +arm and poured out such a flow of words that I was quite at a loss to +know what she meant. I did gather, however, that she had a niece of +sixteen in the inner room, who spoke French, and that she would go and +fetch her. The niece appeared at this moment and was dragged forward; +all she would say, however, was "_Tiens, tiens!_" to whatever we asked +her, so we came to the conclusion that was the limit to her knowledge of +French, very non-committal and not frightfully encouraging. So with much +bowing and smiling we departed on our way, after distributing the +remainder of our buns among the group of wide-eyed hungry looking +children who watched us off. The old man had stayed in his corner the +whole time muttering to himself. His brain seemed to be affected, which +was not much wonder considering what he had been through, poor old +thing! + +On our way back to Ramscapelle we had the bad luck to slip off the +"bloomin' pavee" while passing an ammunition wagon; a thing I had been +dreading all along. I got out on the foot board and stepped, in the +panic of the moment, into the mud. I thought I was never going to "touch +bottom." I did finally, and the mud was well above my knees. The passing +soldiers were greatly amused and pulled me to shore, and then, stepping +into the slough with a grand indifference, soon got the car up again. +The evening was drawing in, and the land all round had been flooded. As +the sun set, the most glorious lights appeared, casting purple shadows +over the water: It seemed hard to believe we were so near the trenches, +but there on the road were the men filing silently along on their way to +enter them as soon as dusk fell. They had large packs of straw on their +backs which we learnt was to ensure their having a dry place to sit in; +and when I saw the trenches later on I was not surprised at the +precaution. + +Mysterious "Star-lights" presently made their appearance over the German +trenches, gleamed for a moment, and then went out leaving the landscape +very dark and drear. We hurried on back to Ramscapelle, sentries popping +up at intervals to enquire our business. Floods stretched on either side +of the road as far as the eye could see. We were obliged to crawl at a +snail's pace as it grew darker. Of course no lights of any sort were +allowed, and the lines of soldiers passing along silently to their posts +in the trenches seemed unending; we were glad when we drew up once again +at the Headquarters in Ramscapelle. + +Major R. hastened out and told us that his own men who had been in the +trenches for four days were just coming out for a rest, and he wished we +could spare some of our woollies for them. We of course gladly assented, +so he lined them up in the street littered with débris in front of the +Headquarters. We each had a sack of things and started at different ends +of the line, giving every man a pair of socks, a muffler or scarf, +whichever he most wanted. In nearly every case it was socks; and how +glad and grateful they were to get them! It struck me as rather funny +when I noticed cards in the half-light affixed to the latter, texts +(sometimes appropriate, but more often not) and verses of poetry. I +thought of the kind hands that had knitted them in far away England and +wondered if the knitters had ever imagined their things would be given +out like this, to rows of mud-stained men standing amid shell-riddled +houses on a dark and muddy road, their words of thanks half-drowned in +the thunder of war. + + + + +CHAPTER V + +IN THE TRENCHES + + +Major R., who is a great admirer of things English, suddenly gave the +command to his men, and out of compliment to us "It's a long way to +Tipararee" rang out. The pronunciation of the words was most odd and we +listened in wonder; the Major's chest however positively swelled with +pride, for he had taught them himself! We assured him, tactfully, the +result was most successful. + +We returned to the Headquarters and sorted out stores for the trenches. +The Major at that moment received a telephone message to say a farm in +the Nieuport direction was being attacked. We looked up from our work +and saw the shells bursting like fireworks, the noise of course was +deafening. We soon got accustomed to it and besides had too much to do +to bother. When all was ready, we were given our instructions--we were +to keep together till we had passed through the village when the doctor +would be there to meet us and, with a guide, conduct us to the trenches; +we were all to proceed twenty paces one after the other, no word was to +be spoken, and if a Verey light showed up we were to drop down flat. I +hoped fervently it might not be in a foot of mud! + +Off we set, and I must say my heart was pounding pretty hard. It was +rather nervy work once we were beyond the town, straining our eyes +through the darkness to follow the figure ahead. Occasionally a sentry +popped up from apparently nowhere. A whispered word and then on we went +again. I really can't say how far we walked like this; it seemed +positively miles. Suddenly a light flared in the sky, illuminating the +surrounding country in an eerie glare. It didn't take me many minutes, +needless to say, to drop flat! Luckily it was _pavé_, but I would have +welcomed mud rather than be left standing silhouetted within sight of +the German trenches on that shell-riddled road. Finally we saw a long +black line running at right angles, and the guide in front motioned me +to stop while he went on ahead. + +I had time to look round and examine the place as well as I could and +also to put down my bundle of woollies that had become extremely heavy. +These trenches were built against a railway bank (the railway lines had +long since been destroyed or torn up), and just beyond ran the famous +Yser and the inundations which had helped to stem the German advance. I +was touched on the shoulder at this point, and clambered down into the +trench along a very slippery plank. The men looked very surprised to see +us, and their little dug-outs were like large rabbit hutches. I crawled +into one on my hands and knees as the door was very low. The two +occupants had a small brazier burning. Straw was on the floor--the straw +we had previously seen on the men's backs--and you should have seen +their faces brighten at the sight of a new pair of socks. We pushed on, +as it was getting late. I shall never forget that trench--it was the +second line--the first line consisting of "listening posts" somewhere in +that watery waste beyond, where the men wore waders reaching well above +their knees. We squelched along a narrow strip of plank with the +trenches on one side and a sort of cesspool on the other--no wonder they +got typhoid, and I prayed I mightn't slip. + +We could walk upright further on without our heads showing, which was a +comfort, as it is extremely tiring to walk for long in a stooping +position. Through an observation hole in the parapet we looked right out +across the inundations to where the famous "Ferme Violette," which had +changed hands so often and was at present German, could plainly be seen. +Dark objects were pointed out to us sticking up in the water which the +sergeant cheerfully observed, holding his nose the meanwhile, were +_sales Boches_! We hurried on to a bigger dug-out and helped the doctor +with several _blessés_ injured that afternoon, and later we helped to +remove them back to the village and thence to a field hospital. Just +then we began bombarding with the 75's. which we had seen earlier on. +The row was deafening--first a terrific bang, then a swizzing through +the air with a sound like a sob, and then a plop at the other end where +it had exploded--somewhere. At first, as with all newcomers in the +firing line, we ducked our heads as the shells went over, to a roar of +delight from the men, but in time we gave that up. During this +bombardment we went on distributing our woollies all along the line, and +I thought my head would split at any moment, the noise was so great. I +asked one of the officers, during a pause, why the Germans weren't +replying, and he said we had just got the range of one of their +positions by 'phone, and as these guns we were employing had just been +brought up, the Boche would not waste any shells until they thought they +had our range. + +Presently we came to the officer's dug-out, and, would you believe it, +he had small windows with lace curtains! They were the size of pocket +handkerchiefs; still the fact remains, they _were_ curtains. He showed +us two bits of a shell that had burst above the day before and made the +roof collapse, but since then the damage had been remedied by a stout +beam. He was a merry little man with twinkling eyes and very proud of +his little house. + +Our things began to give out at this point and we were not at the end of +the line by any means. It was heart breaking to hear one man say, "Une +paire de chaussettes, Mees, je vous en prie; il y a trois mois depuis +que j'en ai eu." (A pair of socks, miss, I beseech you, it's three +months since I had any). I gave him my scarf, which was all I had left, +and could only turn sorrowfully away. He put it on immediately, +cheerfully accepting the substitute. + +We were forced to make our adieux at this point, as there was no reason +for us to continue along the line. We promised to bring more things the +next night and start at the point where we had left off. I thought +regretfully it would be some days before my turn came round again. + +The same care had to be observed on the return journey, and we could +only speak in the softest of whispers. The bombardment had now died away +as suddenly as it had begun. The men turned from their posts to whisper +"_Bon soir, bonne chance_," or else "_Dieu vous bénisse_." The silence +after that ear-splitting din was positively uncanny: it made one feel +one wanted to shout or whistle, or do something wild; anything to break +it. One almost wished the Germans would retaliate! That silent monster +only such a little way from us seemed just waiting to spring. We crawled +one by one out of the trenches on to the road, and began the perilous +journey homewards with the _blessés_, knowing that at any moment the +Germans might begin bombarding. As we were resting the Captain of the +battery joined us, and in the semi-darkness I saw he was offering me a +bunch of snowdrops! It certainly was an odd moment to receive a bouquet, +but somehow at the time it did not seem to be particularly out of place, +and I tucked them into the belt of my tunic and treasured them for days +afterwards--snowdrops that had flowered regardless of war in the garden +of some cottage long since destroyed. + +Arrived once more at Headquarters we were pressed to a _petit verre_ of +some very hot and raw liqueur, but nevertheless very warming, and very +good. I felt I agreed with the Irish coachman who at his first taste +declared "The shtuff was made in Hiven but the Divil himself invinted +the glasses!" We had got terribly cold in the trenches. After taking +leave of our kind hosts we set off for the Hospital. + +It was now about 1.30 a.m., and we were stopped no less than seventeen +times on our way back. As it was my job to lean out and whisper into the +sentry's "pearly," I got rather exasperated. By the time I'd passed the +seventeenth "Gustave," I felt I'd risk even a bayonet to be allowed to +snooze without interruption. The _blessés_ were deposited in Hospital +and the car, once rid of its wounded load, sped through the night back +to Lamarck, and I wondered sleepily if my first visit to the trenches +was a reality or only a dream. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +THE TYPHOID WARDS + + +When I first came to Hospital I had been put as V.A.D. in Ward I, on the +surgical side, and at ten o'clock had heard "shop" (which by the way was +strictly debarred, but nevertheless formed the one and only topic of +conversation), from nurses and sisters in the Typhoid Wards, but had +never actually been there myself. As previously explained the three +Typhoid Wards--rooms leading one out of the other on the ground +floor--were in a separate building joined only by some outhouses to the +main portion, thus forming three sides of the paved yard. + +The east end of the Cathedral with its beautiful windows completed the +square, and in the evenings it was very restful to hear the muffled +sounds of the old organ floating up through the darkness. + +Sister Wicks asked me one day to go through these wards with her. It +must be remembered that at this early period there were no regular +typhoid hospitals; and in fact ours was the only hospital in the place +that would take them in, the others having refused. Our beds were +therefore always full, and the typhoid staff was looked on as the +hardest worked in the Hospital, and always tried to make us feel that +they were the only ones who did any real work! + +It was difficult to imagine these hollow-cheeked men with glittering +eyes and claw-like hands were the men who had stemmed the German rush at +Liége. Some were delirious, others merely plucking at the sheets with +their wasted fingers, and everywhere the sisters and nurses were +hurrying to and fro to alleviate their sufferings as much as possible. I +shall always see the man in bed sixteen to this day. He was extremely +fair, with blue eyes and a light beard. I started when I first saw him, +he looked so like some of the pictures of Christ one sees; and there was +an unearthly light in his eyes. He was delirious and seemed very ill. +The sister told me he had come down with a splendid fighting record, and +was one of the worst cases of pneumonic typhoid in the ward. My heart +ached for him, and instinctively I shivered, for somehow he did not seem +to belong to this world any longer. We passed on to Ward III, where I +was presented to "Le Petit Sergent," a little bit of a man, so cheery +and bright, who had made a marvellous recovery, but was not yet well +enough to be moved. Everywhere was that peculiar smell which seems +inseparable from typhoid wards in spite, or perhaps because of, the many +disinfectants. We left by the door at the end of Salle III and once in +the sunlight again, I heaved a sigh of relief; for frankly I thought the +three typhoid Salles the most depressing places on earth. They were +dark, haunting, and altogether horrible. "Well," said Sergeant Wicks +cheerfully, "what do you think of the typhoid Wards? Splendid aren't +they? You should have seen them at first." As I made no reply, she +rattled gaily on, "Well, I hope you will find the work interesting when +you come to us as a pro. to-morrow." I gasped. "Am I to leave the +_blessés_, then?" was all I could feebly ask--"Why, yes, didn't they +tell you?"--and she was off before I could say anything more. + + * * * * * + +When one goes to work in France one can't pick and choose, and the next +morning saw me in the typhoid wards which soon I learnt to love, and +which I found so interesting that I hardly left them from that time +onwards, except for "trench duty." + +I was in Salle I at first--the less serious cases--and life seemed one +eternal rush of getting "feeds" for the different patients, "doing +mouths," and making "Bengers." All the boiling and heating was done in +one big stove in Salle II. Each time I passed No. 16 I tried not to look +at him, but I always ended in doing so, and each time he seemed to be +thinner and more ethereal looking. He literally went to skin and bone. +He must have been such a splendid man, I longed for him to get better, +but one morning when I passed, the bed was empty and a nurse was +disinfecting the iron bedstead. For one moment I thought he had been +moved. "Where--What?" I asked, disjointedly of the nurse. "Died in the +night," she said briefly. "Don't look like that," and she went on with +her work. No. 16 had somehow got on my mind, I suppose because it was +the first bad typhoid case I had seen, and from the first I had taken +such an interest in him. One gets accustomed to these things in time, +but I never forgot that first shock. In the afternoons the men's +temperatures rose alarmingly, and most of the time was spent in +"blanket-bathing" which is about the most back-aching pastime there is; +but how the patients loved to feel the cool sponges passing over their +feverish limbs. They were so grateful and, though often too ill to +speak, would smile their thanks, and one felt it was worth all the +backaches in the world. + +It was such a virulent type of typhoid. Although we had been inoculated, +we were obliged to gargle several times during the day, and even then we +always had more or less of a "typy" throat. + +Our gallant sergeant, sister Wicks, who had organised and run the whole +of the three Salles since November '14, suddenly developed para-typhoid, +and with great difficulty was persuaded to go to bed. Fortunately she +did not have it badly, and in her convalescent stage I was sent to look +after her up at the "shop window." I was anxious to get her something +really appetising for lunch, and presently heard one of the famous fish +wives calling out in the street. I ran out and bargained with her, for +of course she would have been vastly disappointed if I had given her the +original price she asked. At last I returned triumphant with two nice +looking little "Merlans," too small to cut their heads off, I decided. I +had never coped with fish before, so after holding them for some time +under the tap till they seemed clean enough, put them on to fry in +butter. I duly took them in on a tray to Wicks, and I'm sure they looked +very tasty. "Have you cleaned them?" she asked suspiciously. "Yes, of +course I have," I replied. She examined them. "May I ask what you +_did_?" she said. "I held them under the tap," I told her, "there didn't +seem anything more to be done," I added lamely. + +How she laughed--I thought she was never going to stop--and I stood +there patiently waiting to hear the joke. She explained at length and +said, "No, take them away; you've made me feel ever so much better, but +I'll have eggs instead, thank you." I went off grumbling, "How on earth +was I to know anyway they kept their tummies behind their ears!" + +That fish story went all over the hospital. + +Nursing in the typhoids was relieved by turns up to the trenches behind +Dixmude, which we looked forward to tremendously, but as they were +practically--with slight variations in the matter of shelling and +bombardments--a repetition of my first experience, there is no object in +recounting them here. + +The typhoid doctor--"Scrubby," by name; so called because of the +inability of his chin to make up its mind if it would have a beard or +not--was very amusing, without of course meaning to be. He liked to +write the reports of the patients in the Sister's book himself, and was +very proud of his English, and this is what occasionally appeared: + +Patient No. 12. "If the man sleep, let him sleep." + +Patient No. 13. "To have red win (wine) in the spoonful." + +Patient No. 14. "If the man have a temper (i.e. temperature) reduce him +with the sponges." And he was once heard to remark with reference to a +flat tyre: "That tube is contrary to the swelling state!" + +So far, I have made no mention of the men orderlies, who I must say were +absolute bricks. There was Pierre, an alert little Bruxellois, who was +in a bank before the war and kept his widowed mother. He was in constant +fear as to her safety, for she had been left in their little house and +had no time to escape. He was well-educated and most interesting, and +oh, so gentle with the men. Then there was Louis, Ziské, and Charlké, a +big hefty Walloon who had been the butcher on a White Star liner before +the war, all excellent workers. + +About this time I went on night duty and liked it very much. One was +much freer for one thing, and the sisters immediately became more human +(especially when they relied on the pros. to cook the midnight supper!), +and further there were no remarks or reflections about the defects of +the "untrained unit" who "imagined they knew everything after four +months of war." (With reference to cooking, I might here mention that +since the fish episode Mrs. Betton and I were on more than speaking +terms!)[3] + +There were several very bad cases in Salle II. One especially Sister +feared would not pull through. I prayed he might live, but it was not to +be. She was right--one night about 2 a.m. he became rapidly worse and +perforation set in. The dreadful part was that he was so horribly +conscious all the time. "Miske," he asked, "think you that I shall see +my wife and five children again?" Before I could reply, he continued, +"They were there _là bas_ in the little house so happy when I left them +in 1914--My God," and he became agitated. "If it were not permitted that +I return? Do you think I am going to die, Miske?" "You must try and keep +the patient from getting excited," said the calm voice of the Sister, +who did not speak French. He died about an hour later. It was terrible. +"Why must they go through so much suffering?" I wondered miserably. If +they _are_ to die, why can't it happen at once?" + +This was the first typhoid death I had actually witnessed. In the +morning the sinister coffin cart flapped into the yard and bore him off +to his last resting place. What, I wondered, happened to his wife and +five children? + +When I became more experienced I could tell if patients were going to +recover or not; and how often in the latter case I prayed that it might +be over quickly; but no, the fell disease had to take its course; and +even the sisters said they had never seen such awful cases. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +THE ZEPPELIN RAID + + +Once while on night duty I got up to go to a concert in the town at the +theatre in aid of the _Orphelins de la Guerre_. I must say when the +Frenchman makes up his mind to have a charity concern he does it +properly, and with any luck it begins at 2.30 and goes on till about 9 +or possibly 10 p.m. + +This was the first we had attended and they subsequently became quite a +feature of the place. It was held on a Sunday, and the entire population +turned out _colimenté_ and _endimanché_ to a degree. The French and +Belgian uniforms were extraordinarily smart, and the Belgian guides in +their tasselled caps, cheery breeches, and hunting-green tunics added +colour to the scene. + +The Mayor of the town opened the performance with a long speech, the +purport of which I forget, but it lasted one hour and ten minutes, and +then the performance began. There were several intervals during which +the entire audience left the salle and perambulated along the wide +corridors round the building to greet their friends, and drink champagne +out of large flat glasses, served at fabulous prices by fair ladies of +the town clad in smart muslin dresses. The French Governor-General, +covered with stars and orders, was there in state with his +aides-de-camp, and the Belgian General ditto, and everyone shook hands +and talked at once. Heasy and I stood and watched the scene fascinated. +Tea seemed to be an unheard of beverage. Presently we espied an +Englishman, very large and very tall, talking to a group of French +people. I remark on the fact because in those days there were no English +anywhere near us, and to see a staff car passing through the town was +quite an event. We were glad, as he was the only Englishman there, that +our people had chosen the largest and tallest representative they could +find. Presently he turned, and looked as surprised to see two khaki-clad +English girls in solar topees (the pre-war F.A.N.Y. headgear), as I +think we were to see him. + +The intervals lasted for half an hour, and I came to the conclusion they +were as much, if not more, part of the entertainment as the concert +itself. + +It was still going strong when we left at 7 p.m. to go on duty, and the +faithful "Flossie" (our Ford) bore us swiftly back to hospital and +typhoids. + +On the night of March 18th, 1915, we had our second Zeppelin raid, when +the Hospital had a narrow escape. (The first one occurred on 23rd +February, wiping out an entire family near the "Shop-window.") I was +still on night duty and, crossing over to Typhoids with some dressings, +noticed how velvety the sky looked, with not a star to be seen. + +We always had two orderlies on at night, and at 12 o'clock one of them +was supposed to go over to the kitchen and have his supper, and when he +came back at 12.30 the other went. On this particular occasion they had +both gone together. Sister had also gone over at 12 to supper, so I was +left absolutely alone with the fifty patients.[4] + +None of the men at that time were particularly bad, except No. 23, who +was delirious and showed a marked inclination to try and get out of bed. +I had just tucked him in safely for the twentieth time when at 12.30 I +heard the throb of an engine. Aeroplanes were always flying about all +day, so I did not think much of it. I half fancied it might be Sidney +Pickles, the airman, who had been to the Hospital several times and was +keen on stunt flying. This throbbing sounded much louder though than any +aeroplane, and hastily lowering what lights we had, with a final tuck to +No. 23, I ran to the door to ascertain if there was cause for alarm. The +noise was terrific and sounded like no engine I had ever heard in my +life. I gazed into the purple darkness and felt sure that I must see the +thing, it seemed actually over my head. The expanse of sky to be seen +from the yard was not very great, but suddenly in the space between the +surgical side and the Cathedral I could just discern an inky shadow, +whale-like in shape, with one small twinkling light like a wicked eye. +The machine was travelling pretty fast and fairly low down, and by its +bulk I knew it to be a Zeppelin. I tore back into the ward where most of +the men were awake, and found myself saying, "_Ce n'est rien, ce n'est +qu'un Zeppelin_" ("It's nothing--only a Zeppelin"), which on second +thoughts I came to the conclusion was not as reassuring as I meant it to +be. By this time the others were on their way back across the yard, and +I turned to give 23 another tuck up. + +Such a long time elapsed before any firing occurred; it seemed to me +when I first looked out into the yard I must be the only person who had +heard the Zepp. What were the sentinels doing, I wondered? The +explanation I heard later from a French gunnery lieutenant. The man who +had the key to the ammunitions for the anti-aircraft guns was not at his +post, and was subsequently discovered in a drunken sleep--probably the +work of German spies--at all events he was shot at dawn the following +day. In such manner does France deal with her sons who fail her. As soon +as the Zepp. had passed over, the firing burst forth in full vigour to +die away presently. So far, apparently, no bombs had been dropped. I +suggested to Pierre we should relight one or two lamps, as it was +awkward stumbling about in complete darkness. "_Non, non, Miske_, he +will return," he said with conviction. Apparently, though, all seemed +quiet; and Sister suggested that after all the excitement, I should make +my way across the yard to get some supper. Pierre came with me, and at +that moment a dull explosion occurred. It was a bomb. The Zeppelin was +still there. The guns again blazed away, the row was terrific. Star +shells were thrown up to try and locate the Zepp., and the sky was full +of showering lights, blue, green, and pink. Four searchlights were +playing, shrapnel was bursting, and a motor machine gun let off volleys +from sheer excitement, the sharp tut-tut-tut adding to the general +confusion. In the pauses the elusive Zepp. could be heard buzzing like +some gigantic angry bee. I wouldn't have missed it for anything. It +looked like a fireworks display, and the row was increasing each minute. +Every Frenchman in the neighbourhood let off his rifle with gusto. + +Just then we heard an extraordinary rushing noise in the air, like steam +being let off from a railway engine. A terrific bang ensued, and then a +flare. It was an incendiary bomb and was just outside the Hospital +radius. I was glad to be in the open, one felt it would be better to be +killed outside than indoors. If the noise was bad before, it now became +deafening. Pierre suggested the _cave_, a murky cellar by the gate, but +it seemed safer to stay where we were, leaning in the shadow against the +walls of Notre Dame. Very foolish, I grant you, but early in 1915 the +dangers of falling shrapnel, etc., were not so well known. These events +happened in a few seconds. Suddenly Pierre pointed skywards. "He is +there, up high," he cried excitedly. I looked, but a blinding light +seemed to fill all space, the yard was lit up and I remember wondering +if the people in the Zepp. would see us in our white overalls. The +rushing sound was directly over our heads; there was a crash, the very +walls against which we were leaning rocked, and to show what one's mind +does at those moments, I remember thinking that when the Cathedral +toppled over it would just fit nicely into the Hospital square. +Instinctively I put my head down sheltering it as best I could with my +arms, while bricks, mortar, and slates rained on, and all around, us. +There was a heavy thud just in front of us, and when the dust had +cleared away I saw it was a coping from the Cathedral, 2 feet by 4! +Notre Dame had remained standing, but the bomb had completely smashed in +the roof of the chapel, against the walls of which we were leaning! It +was only due to their extreme thickness that we were saved, and also to +the fact that we were under the protection of the wall. Had we been +further out the coping would assuredly have landed on us or else we +should have been hit by the shrapnel contained in the bombs, for the +wall opposite was pitted with it. The dust was suffocating, and I heard +Pierre saying, "Come away, Mademoiselle." Though it takes so long to +describe, only a few minutes had elapsed since leaving to cross the +yard. The beautiful East window of the Cathedral was shivered to atoms, +and likewise every window in the Hospital. All our watches had stopped. + +Crashing over broken glass to the surgical side, we pantingly asked if +everyone was safe. We met Porter coming down the stairs, a stream of +blood flowing from a cut on her forehead. I hastily got some dressings +for it. Luckily it was only a flesh wound, and not serious. Besides the +night nurses at the Hospital, the chauffeurs and housekeeper slept in +the far end of the big room at the top of the building. They had not +been awakened (so accustomed were they to din and noise), until the +crash of the bomb on the Cathedral, and it was by the glass being blown +in on to their stretcher beds that Porter had been cut; otherwise no one +else was hurt. + +I plunged through the débris back to the typhoids, wondering how 23 had +got on, or rather got out, and, would you believe it, his delirium had +gone and he was sleeping quietly like a child! The only bit of good the +Boche ever did I fancy, for the shock seemed to cure him and he got well +from that moment. + +The others were in an awful mess, and practically every man's bed was +full of broken glass. You can imagine what it meant getting this out +when the patients were suffering from typhoid, and had to be moved as +little as possible! One boy in Salle V had a flower pot from the +window-sill above fixed on his head! Beyond being slightly dazed, and of +course covered with mould, he was none the worse; and those who were +well enough enjoyed his discomfiture immensely. Going into Salle III +where there were shouts of laughter (the convalescents were sent to that +room) I saw a funny sight. One little man, who was particularly fussy +and grumpy (and very unpopular with the other men in consequence), slept +near the stove, which was an old-fashioned coal one with a pipe leading +up to the ceiling. The concussion had shaken this to such an extent that +accumulations of soot had come down and covered him from head to foot, +and he was as[5] black as a nigger! His expression of disgust was beyond +description, and he was led through the other two wards on exhibition, +where he was greeted with yells of delight. It was just as well, as it +relieved the tension. It can't be pleasant to be ill in bed and covered +with bits of broken glass and mortar, not to mention the uncertainty of +whether the walls are going to fall in or not. "Ah," said the little +Sergeant to me, "I have never had fear as I had last night." "One is +better in the trenches than in your Hospital, Miske," chimed in another. +"At least one can defend oneself." + +One orderly--a new one whom I strongly suspected of being an +_embusqué_--was unearthed in our rounds from under one of the beds, and +came in for a lot of sarcasm, to the great joy of the patients who had +all behaved splendidly.[6] With the exception of Pierre and the porter on +the surgical side, every man jack of them, including the Adjutant, had +fled to the _cave_. A subsequent order came out soon after which amused +us very much:--In the event of future air raids the _infirmiers_ +(orderlies) were to fly to the _cave_ with the convalescents while the +_très malades_ were to be left to the care of the _Mees anglaises_![7] + +It took us till exactly 7 a.m. to get those three wards in anything like +order, working without stopping. "Uncle," who had dressed hurriedly and +come up to the Hospital from his Hotel to see if he could be of any use, +brought a very welcome bowl of Ivelcon about 2.30, which just made all +the difference, as I had had nothing since 7 the night before. It's +surprising how hungry Zeppelin raids make one! + +An extract from the account which appeared in _The Daily Chronicle_ the +following morning was as follows:-- + +"One bomb fell on Notre Dame Cathedral piercing the vault of one of the +Chapels on the right transept and wreaking irreparable damage to the +beautiful old glass of its gothic windows. This same bomb, which must +have been of considerable size, sent débris flying into the courtyard of +the Lamarcq Hospital full of Belgian wounded being tended by English +Nurses. + +"Altogether these Yeomanry nurses behaved admirably, for all the menfolk +with the exception of the doorkeeper" (and Pierre, please), "fled for +refuge to the cellars, and the women were left. In the neighbourhood one +hears nothing but praise of these courageous Englishwomen. Another bomb +fell on a railway carriage in which a number of mechanics--refugees from +Lille--were sleeping, as they had no homes of their own. The effect of +the bomb on these unfortunate men was terrible. They were all more or +less mutilated; and heads, hands, and feet were torn off. Then flames +broke out on top of this carriage and in a moment the whole was one huge +conflagration. + +"As the Zeppelin drew off, its occupants had the sinister satisfaction +of leaving behind them a great glare which reddened the sky for a full +hour in contrast with the total blackness of the town." + +Chris took out "Flossie," and was on the scene of this last disaster as +soon as she could get into her clothes after being so roughly awakened +by the splinters of glass. + +When the day staff arrived from the "Shop-window," what a sight met +their eyes! The poor old place looked as if it had had a night of it, +and as we sat down to breakfast in the kitchen we shivered in the icy +blasts that blew in gusts across the room, for of course the weather had +made up its mind to be decidedly wintry just to improve matters. It took +weeks to get those windows repaired, as there was a run on what glaziers +the town possessed. The next night our plight in typhoids was not one to +be envied--Army blankets had been stretched inadequately across the +windows and the beds pulled out of the way of draughts as much as +possible, but do what we could the place was like an icehouse; the snow +filtered softly through the flapping blankets, and how we cursed the +Hun! At 3 a.m. one of the patients had a relapse and died. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +CONCERNING BATHS, "JOLIE ANNETTE," "MARIE-MARGOT" AND "ST. INGLEVERT." + + +After this event I was sent back for a time to the _blessés graves_ on +the surgical side on day duty. All who had been on duty that memorable +night had had a pretty considerable shock. It was like leaving one world +and stepping into another, so complete was the change from typhoids. + +The faithful Jefké was still there stealing jam for the patients, +spending a riotous Saturday night _au cinéma_, going to Mass next +morning, and then presenting himself in the Ward again looking as if +butter would not melt in his mouth! + +A new assistant orderly was there as well. A pious looking individual in +specs. He worked as if manual labour pained him, and was always studying +out of a musty little book. He was desperately keen to learn English and +spoke it on every possible occasion; was intensely stupid as an orderly +and obstinate as a mule. He was trying in the extreme. One day he told +me he was intended for higher things and would soon be a priest in the +Church. Sister Lampen, who was so quick and thorough herself, found him +particularly tiresome, and used to refer to him as her "cross" in life! +One day she called him to account, and, in an exasperated voice said, +"What are you supposed to be doing here, Louis, anyway? Are you an +orderly or aren't you?" "_Mees_," he replied piously, rolling his eyes +upwards, "I am learning to be a father!" I gave a shriek of delight and +hastened up to tea in the top room with the news. + +We were continually having what was known as _alertes_, that the Germans +were advancing on the town. We had boxes ready in all the Wards with a +list on the lid indicating what particular dressings, etc., went in +each. None of the _alertes_, however, materialized. We heard later it +was only due to a Company of the gallant Buffs throwing themselves into +the breach that the road to Calais had been saved. + +There were several exciting days spent up at our Dressing Station at +Hoogstadt, and one day to our delight we heard that three of the +F.A.N.Y.'s, who had been in the trenches during a particularly bad +bombardment, were to be presented with the Order of Leopold II. A daily +paper giving an account of this dressing station headed it, in their +enthusiasm, "Ten days without a change of clothes. Brave Yeomanry +Nurses!" + +It was a coveted job to post the letters and then go down to the Quay to +watch the packet come in from England. The letters, by the way, were +posted in the guard's van of a stationary train where Belgian soldiers +sorted and despatched them. I used to wonder vaguely if the train rushed +off in the night delivering them. + +There was a charm and fascination about meeting that incoming boat; the +rattle of chains, the clang as the gangway was fixed, the strange cries +of the French sailors, the clicking of the bayonets as the cordon formed +round the fussy passport officer, and lastly the excitement of watching +to see if there was a spy on board. The _Walmer Castle_ and the +_Canterbury_ were the two little packets employed, and they have +certainly seen life since the war began. Great was our excitement if we +caught sight of Field Marshal French on his way to G.H.Q., or King +Albert, his tall form stooping slightly under the cares of State, as he +stepped into his waiting car to be whirled northwards to _La Panne_. + +The big Englishman (accompanied by a little man disguised in very plain +clothes as a private Detective) also scanned every passenger closely as +he stepped on French soil, and we turned away disgustedly as each was +able to furnish the necessary proof that he was on lawful business. +"Come, Struttie, we must fly," and back we hurried over the bridge, past +the lighthouse, across the Place d'Armes, up the Rue de la Rivière and +so to Hospital once more. + +When things became more settled, definite off times were arranged. Up to +then sisters and nurses had worked practically all day and every day, so +great was the rush. We experienced some difficulty in having baths, as +there were none up at the "Shop." Dr. Cools from the Gare Centrale told +us some had been fitted in a train down there, and permission was +obtained for us to use them. But first we were obliged to present +ourselves to the Commandant (for the Railway shed there had been turned +into an _Hôpital de Passage_, where the men waited on stretchers till +they were collected each morning by ambulances for the different +Hospitals), and ask him to be kind enough to furnish a _Bon pour un +bain_ (a bath pass)! When I first went to the Bureau at the gare and saw +this Commandant in his elegant tight-fitting navy blue uniform, with +pointed grey beard and general air of importance, I felt that to ask him +for a "bath ticket" was quite the last thing on earth! He saw my +hesitation, and in the most natural manner in the world said with a bow, +"Mademoiselle has probably come for _un bon_?" I assented gratefully, +was handed the pass and fled. It requires some courage to face four +officials in order to have a bath. + +Arrived at the said train, one climbed up a step-ladder in to a truck +divided into four partitions, and Ziské, a deaf old Flamand, carried +buckets of boiling water from the engine and we added what cold we +wanted ourselves. You will therefore see that when anyone asked you what +you were doing in your free time that day and you said you were "going +to have a bath," it was understood that it meant the whole afternoon +would be taken up. + +At first we noticed the French people seemed a little stiff in their +manner and rather on the defensive. We wondered for some time what could +be the reason, and chatting one day with Madame at the dug-out I +mentioned the fact to her. + +"See you, Mademoiselle, it is like this," she explained, "you others, +the English, had this town many years ago, and these unlettered ones, +who read never the papers and know nothing, think you will take +possession of the town once again." Needless to say in time this +impression wore off and they became most friendly. + +The Place d'Armes was a typical French marketplace and very picturesque. +At one corner of the square stood the town hall with a turret and a very +pretty Carillon called "Jolie Annette," since smashed by a shell. I +asked an old shopkeeper why the Carillon should be called by that name +and he told me that in 1600 a well-to-do _commerçant_ of the town had +built the turret and promised a Carillon only on the condition that it +should be a line from a song sung by a fair lady called "Jolie Annette," +performing at a music hall or Café Chantant in the town at that time. +The inhabitants protested, but he refused to give the Carillon unless he +could have his own way, which he ultimately did. Can't you imagine the +outraged feelings of the good burghers? "_Que voulez-vous, +Mademoiselle_," the old man continued, shrugging his shoulders, "_Jolie +Annette ne chante pas mal, hein?_" and I agreed with him. + +I thought it was rather a nice story, and I often wondered, when I +heard that little song tinkling out, exactly what "Jolie Annette" really +looked like, and I quite made up my mind on the subject. Of course she +had long side curls, a slim waist, lots of ribbons, a very full skirt, +white stockings, and a pair of little black shoes, and last but not +least, a very bewitching smile. It is sad to think that a shell has +silenced her after all these years, and I hope so much that someone will +restore the Carillon so that she can sing her little song once again. + +In one corner of the square was a house (now turned into a furniture +shop) where one of the F.A.N.Y.'s great-grandmothers had stayed when +fleeing with the Huguenots to England. They had finally set off across +the Channel in rowing boats. Some sportsmen! + +Market days on Saturdays were great events, and little booths filled up +the whole _place_, and what bargains one could make! We bought all the +available flowers to make the wards as bright as possible. In the +afternoons when there was not much to do except cut dressings, I often +sat quietly at my table and listened to the discussions which went on in +the ward. The Belgian soldier loves an argument. + +One day half in French, and half in Flemish, they were discussing what +course they would pursue if they found a wounded German on the +battlefield. "_Tuez-le comme un lapin_," cried one. "_Faut les +zigouiller tous_," cried another (almost untranslatable slang, but +meaning more or less "choke the lot"). "_Ba, non, sauvez-le p'is qu'il +est blessé_," cried a third to which several agreed. This discussion +waxed furious till finally I was called on to arbitrate. One boy was +rapidly working himself into a fever over the question. He was out to +kill any Boche under any conditions, and I don't blame him. This was his +story: + +In the little village where he came from, the Germans on entering had +treated the inhabitants most brutally. He was with his old father and +mother and young brother of eight--(It was August 1914 and his class had +not yet been called up). Some Germans marched into the little cottage +and shaking the old woman roughly by the arm demanded something to +drink. His mother was very deaf and slow in her movements and took some +time to understand. "Ha," cried one brute, "we will teach you to walk +more quickly," and without more ado he ran his sword through her poor +old body. The old man sprang forward, too late to save her, and met with +the same fate. The little brother had been hastily hidden in an empty +cistern as they came in. "Thus, Mademoiselle," the boy ended, "I have +seen killed before my eyes my own father and mother; my little brother +for all I know is also dead. I have yet to find out. I myself was taken +prisoner, but luckily three days later managed to escape and join our +army; do you therefore blame me, _Miske_, if I wish to kill as many of +the swine as possible?" He sank back literally purple in the face with +rage, and a murmur of sympathy went round the Ward. His wound was not a +serious one, for which I was thankful, or he might have done some harm. +One evening I was wandering through the "Place d'Armes" when some +violins in a music shop caught my eye. I went in and thus became +acquainted with the family Tétar, consisting of an old father and his +two daughters. They were exceedingly friendly and allowed me to try all +the violins they had. At last I chose a little "Mirecourt" with a very +nice tone, which I hired and subsequently bought. + +In time Monsieur Tétar became very talkative, and even offered to play +accompaniments for me. He had an organ in a large room above the shop +cram full of old instruments, but in the end he seemed to think it might +show a want of respect to Madame his late wife (now dead two years), so +the accompanying never came off. For the same reason his daughter, who +he said "in the times" had played the violin well, had never touched her +instrument since the funeral. + + * * * * * + +There was one special song we heard very often rising up from the Café +Chantant, in the room at the dug-out. When I went round there to have +supper with them we listened to it entranced. It was a priceless tune, +very catching and with lots of go; I can hear it now. I was determined +to try and get a copy, and went to see Monsieur Tétar about it one day. +I told him we did not know the name, but this was the tune and hummed it +accordingly. A French Officer looking over some music in a corner +became convulsed and hurriedly ducked his head into the pages, and I +began to wonder if it was quite the thing to ask for. + +Monsieur Tétar appeared to be somewhat scandalized, and exclaimed, "I +know it, Mademoiselle, that song calls itself _Marie-Margot la +Cantinière_, but it is, let me assure you, of a certainty not for the +young girls!" No persuasion on my part could produce it, so our +acquaintance with the fair _Marie-Margot_ went no further than the tune. + +The extreme gratitude of the patients was very touching. When they left +for Convalescent homes, other Hospitals, or to return to the trenches, +we received shoals of post cards and letters of thanks. When they came +on leave they never failed to come back and look up the particular +_Miske_ who had tended them, and as often as not brought a souvenir of +some sort from _là bas_. + +One man to whom I had sent a parcel wrote me the following letter. I +might add that in Hospital he knew no English at all and had taught +himself in the trenches from a dictionary. This was his letter: + + "My lady" (Madame), "The beautiful package is safely + arrived. I thank you profoundly from all my heart. The shawl + (muffler) is at my neck and the good socks are at my feet as + I write. Like that one has well warmth. + + "We go to make some café also out of the package, this + evening in our house in the trenches, for which I thank you + again one thousand times. + + "Receive, my lady, the most distinguished sentiments on the + part of your devoted + + "JEAN PROMPLER, + "1st Batt. Infanterie, + "12th line Regiment." + + +I remember my first joy-ride so well. "Uncle" took Porter and myself up +to St. Inglevert with some stores for our small convalescent home, of +which more anon. + +Before proceeding further, I must here explain who "Uncle" was. He +joined the Corps in 1914 in response to an advertisement from us in the +_Times_ for a driver and ambulance, and was accepted immediately. He was +over military age, and had had his Mors car converted into an ambulance +for work at the front, and went up to Headquarters one day to make final +arrangements. There, to his intense surprise, he discovered that the +"First Aid Nursing Yeomanry" was a woman's, and not a man's show as he +had at first supposed. + +He was so amused he laughed all the way down the Earls Court Road! + +He bought his own petrol from the Belgian _Parc d'Automobiles_, and, +when he was not driving wounded, took as many of the staff for joy-rides +as he could. + +The blow in the fresh air was appreciated by us perhaps more than he +knew, especially after a hard morning in the typhoid wards. + +The day in question was bright and fine and the air, when once we had +left the town and passed the inevitable barriers, was clear and +invigorating, like champagne. We soon arrived at St. Inglevert, which +consisted of a little Church, an _Estaminet_, one or two cottages, the +_curé's_ house, and a little farm with parish room attached. The latter +was now used as a convalescent home for our typhoid patients until they +were strong enough to take the long journey to the big camp in the South +of France. The home was run by two of the F.A.N.Y.s for a fortnight at a +time. It was no uncommon sight to see them on the roads taking the +patients out "in crocodile" for their daily walk! Many were the curious +glances cast from the occupants of passing cars at the two khaki-clad +English girls, walking behind a string of sick-looking men in uniform. +Probably they drove on feeling it was another of the unsolved mysteries +of the war! + +We found Bunny struggling with the stove in the tiny kitchen, where she +soon coaxed the kettle to boil and gave us a cup of tea. Before our +return journey to Hospital we were introduced to the Curé of St. +Inglevert, who was half Irish and half French. He spoke English well and +gave a great deal of assistance in running the home, besides being both +witty and amusing. + +We visited the men who were having tea in their "refectory" under +Cicely's supervision, and once more returned to work at Lamarck. + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +TYPHOIDS AGAIN, AND PARIS IN 1915 + + +I was on night duty once more in the typhoid wards with Sister Moring +when we had our third bad Zeppelin raid, which was described in the +papers as "the biggest attempted since the beginning of the war." It +certainly was a wonderful sight. + +The tocsin was rung in the _Place d'Armes_ about 11.30 p.m. followed by +heavy gunfire from our now more numerous defences. Almost simultaneously +bomb explosions could be heard. We hastily wrapped up what patients were +well enough to move, and the orderlies carried them to the "cave." +Returning across the yard one of them called out that there were three +Zeppelins this time, but though the searchlights were playing, we saw no +sign of them, and presently the "all clear" was sounded. + +We had just got the patients from the _cave_ back into bed again when +half an hour later a second alarm was heard. Our feelings on hearing +this could only be described as "terse," a favourite F.A.N.Y. +expression. If only the brutes would leave Hospitals alone instead of +upsetting the patients like this. + +The sky presented a wonderful spectacle. Half a dozen searchlights were +playing, and shells were continually bursting in mid-air with a dull +roar. On our way back from the _cave_ where we had again deposited the +patients, the searchlights suddenly focussed all three Zeppelins. There +they were like huge silver cigars gleaming against the stars. They +looked so splendid I couldn't help wishing I was up in one. It seemed +impossible to connect death-dealing bombs with those floating silver +shapes. Shrapnel burst all round them, and then the Zepps. seemed +suddenly to become alive, and they answered with machine guns, and the +patter of bullets and shrapnel could be heard all around. The Commander +of one of the Zepps. apparently fearing his airship might be hit, must +have given the order for all the bombs to be heaved overboard at once, +for suddenly twenty-one fell simultaneously! You can imagine what a +sight it was to see those golden balls of fire falling through the air +from the silver airship. They fell in a field just outside the town near +a little village called _Les Barraques_, the total bag being five cows! + +In spite of the three Zeppelins the Huns only succeeded in killing a +baby and an old lady. At last they were successfully driven off, and we +settled down hoping our excitements were over for the night, but no, at +3.30 a.m. the tocsin again rang out a third alarm! This was getting +beyond a joke. The air duel recommenced, bombs were dropped, but +fortunately no serious casualties occurred. Luckily at that time none of +the patients were in a serious condition, so we felt that for once the +Hun had been fairly considerate. It was surprising to find the +comparatively little damage the town had suffered. We had several others +after this, but they are not worth recording here. + +One patient we had at that time was a Dutchman who had joined the +Belgian Army in 1914. He was a very droll fellow, and told me he was the +clown at one of the Antwerp Theatres and kept the people amused while +the scenes were being changed. I can quite believe this, for shouts of +laughter could always be heard in his vicinity. He was very good at +imitating animals, and I discovered later that among other +accomplishments he was also a ventriloquist. Sister and I, when the +necessary feeds had been given, used to sit in two deck chairs with a +screen shading the light, near the stove in the middle ward, until the +next were due. One night I heard a cat mewing. It seemed to be almost +under my chair, I got up and looked everywhere. Yes, there it was again, +but this time coming from under one of the men's beds. It was a piteous +mew, and I was determined to find it. I spent a quarter of an hour on +tiptoe looking everywhere. It was not till I heard a stifled chuckle +from the bed next the Dutchman's that I suspected anything, and then, +determined they should get no rise out of me, sat down quietly in my +chair again. Though that cat mewed for the next ten minutes I never +turned an eyelash! + +I liked night duty very much, there was something exhilarating about it, +probably because I was new to it, and probably also because I slept like +a top in the daytime (when I didn't get up, breathe it quietly, to steal +out for rides on the sands!). I liked the walk across the yard with the +gaunt old Cathedral showing black against the purple sky, its poor East +window now tied up with sacking. + +One night about 1 a.m. I came in from supper in my flat soft felt +slippers, and from sheer joy of living executed, quite noiselessly, a +few steps for Sister's benefit down the middle of the Ward! It was a +great temptation, and needless to say not appreciated by Sister as much +as I had hoped. I heard subdued clapping from the clown's bed, and there +was the wretch wide awake (he was not unlike Morton to look at), sitting +up in bed and grinning with joy! + +The next morning as I was going off duty he called me over to him. "_He, +Miske Kinike_," he said, in his funny half Dutch, half Flemish, "if +after the war you desire something to do I will arrange that you appear +with me before the curtain goes up, at the Antwerp Theatre!" He made the +offer in all seriousness, and realizing this, I replied I would +certainly think the proposition over, and fled across to have breakfast +and tell them my future had been arranged for most suitably. + +The rolls, the long French kind, were brought each morning in "Flossie," +by the day staff on their way up from the "shop" referred to in a +F.A.N.Y. alphabet as + + "R's for the 'Roll-call'"--a terrible fag-- + "Fetching six yards of bread, done up in a bag!" + +The other meals were provided by the Belgians and supplemented to a +great extent by us. I am quite convinced we often ate good old horse. +One day, when prowling round the shops to get something fresh for the +night staff's supper, I went into a butcher's. The good lady came +forward to ask me what I wished. I told her; and she smiled agreeably, +saying, "Impossible, Mademoiselle, since long time we have only horse +here for sale!" I got out of that shop with speed. + +The orderlies on night duty, on the surgical side, were a lazy lot and +slept the whole night through, more often than not on the floor of the +kitchen. One night the incomparable "Jefké," who was worse than most, +was fast asleep in a dark spot near the big stove, when I went to get +some hot water. He was practically invisible, so I narrowly missed +stepping on his head, and, as it was, collapsed over him, breaking the +tea-pot. Cicely, the ever witty, quickly parodied one of the "Ruthless +Rhymes," and said:-- + + "Pat who trod on Jefké's face + (He was fast asleep, so let her,) + Put the pieces back in place, + Saying, 'Don't you think he looks _much_ better'?" + +(I can't vouch for the truth of the last line.) + +One day when up at the front we attended part of a concert given by the +Observation Balloon Section in a barn, candles stuck in bottles the only +illuminations; we were however obliged to leave early to go on to the +trenches. Outside in the moonlight, which was almost as light as day, we +found the men busy sharpening their bayonets. + +Another day up at Bourbourg, where we had gone for a ride, on a precious +afternoon off, we saw the first camouflaged field hospital run by +Millicent, Duchess of Sutherland, for the Belgians--the tents were weird +and wonderful to behold, and certainly defied detection from a distance. + +Heasy and I were walking down the _Rue_ one afternoon, which was the +Bond Street of this town, when the private detective aforementioned came +up and asked to see our identification cards. These we were always +supposed to carry about with us wherever we went. Besides the hospital +stamp and several others, it contained a passport photo and signature. +Of course we had left them in another pocket, and in spite of +protestations on our part we were requested to proceed to the citadel or +return to hospital to be identified. To our mortification we were +followed at a few yards by the detective and a soldier! Never have I +felt such an inclination to take to my heels. As luck would have it, tea +was in progress in the top room, and they all came down _en masse_ to +see the two "spies." The only comfort we got, as they all talked and +laughed at our expense, was to hear one of the detectives softly +murmuring to himself, "Has anyone heard of the Suffragette movement +here?" + +We learnt later that Boche spies disguised in our uniform had been seen +in the vicinity of the trenches. That the Boche took an interest in our +Corps we knew, for, in pre-war days, we had continually received +applications from German girls who wished to become members. Needless to +say they were never accepted. + +The first English troops began to filter into the town about this time, +and important "red hats" with brassards bearing the device "L. of C." +walked about the place as if indeed they had bought every stone. + +Great were our surmises as to what "L. of C." actually stood for, one +suggestion being "Lords of Creation," and another, "Lords of Calais"! It +was comparatively disappointing to find out it only stood for "Lines of +Communication." + +English people have a strange manner of treating their compatriots when +they meet in a foreign country. You would imagine that under the +circumstances they would waive ceremony and greet one another in +passing, but no, such is not the case. If they happen to pass in the +same street they either look haughtily at each other, with apparently +the utmost dislike, or else they gaze ahead with unseeing eyes. + +We rather resented this "invasion," as we called it, and felt we could +no longer flit freely across the Place d'Armes in caps and aprons as +heretofore. + +In June of 1915, my first leave, after six months' work, was due. +Instead of going to England I went to friends in Paris. The journey was +an adventure in itself and took fourteen hours, a distance that in peace +time takes four or five. We stopped at every station and very often in +between. When this occurred, heads appeared at every window to find out +the reason. _"Qu' est ce qu'il y'a?"_ everyone cried at once. It was +invariably either that a troop train was passing up the line and we must +wait for it to go by, or else part of the engine had fallen off. In the +case of the former, the train was looked for with breathless interest +and handkerchiefs waved frantically, to be used later to wipe away a +furtive tear for those _brave poilus_ or "Tommees" who were going to +fight for _la belle France_ and might never return. + +If it was the engine that collapsed, the passengers, with a resigned +expression, returned to their seats, saying placidly: "_C'est la +guerre, que voulez-vous_," and no one grumbled or made any other +comment. With a grunt and a snort we moved on again, only to stop a +little further up the line. I came to the conclusion that that rotten +engine must be tied together with string. No one seemed to mind or +worry. "He will arrive" they said optimistically, and talked of other +things. At every station fascinating-looking _infirmières_ from the +French Red Cross, clad in white from top to toe, stepped into the +carriage jingling little white tin boxes. "_Messieurs, Mesdames, pour +les blessés, s'il vous plaît_,"[8] they begged, and everyone fumbled +without a murmur in their pockets. I began with 5 francs, but by the +time I'd reached Paris I was giving ha' pennies. + +At Amiens a dainty Parisienne stepped into the compartment. She was clad +in a navy blue _tailleur_ with a very smart pair of high navy blue kid +boots and small navy blue silk hat. The other occupants of the carriage +consisted of a well-to-do old gentleman in mufti, who, I decided, was a +_commerçant de vin_, and two French officers, very spick and span, +obviously going on leave. _La petite dame bien mise_, as I christened +her, sat in the opposite corner to me, and the following conversation +took place. I give it in English to save translation: + +After a little general conversation between the officers and the old +_commerçant_ the latter suddenly burst out with:--"Ha, what I would like +well to know is, do the Scotch soldiers wear the _pantalons_ or do they +not?" Everyone became instantly alert. I could see _la petite dame bien +mise_ was dying to say something. The two French officers addressed +shrugged their shoulders expressive of ignorance in the matter. After +further discussion, unable to contain herself any longer, _la petite +dame_ leant forward and addressing herself to the _commerçant_, said, +"Monsieur, I assure you that they do _not_!" + +The whole carriage "sat up and took notice," and the old _commerçant_, +shaking his finger at her said: + +"Madame, if you will permit me to ask, that is, if it is not indiscreet, +how is it that you are in a position to know?" + +The officers were enjoying themselves immensely. _La petite dame_ +hastened to explain. "Monsieur, it is that my window at Amiens she +overlooks the ground where these Scotch ones play the football, and then +a good little puff of wind and one sees, but of course," she concluded +virtuously, "I have not regarded, Monsieur." + +They all roared delightedly, and the old _commerçant_ said something to +the effect of not believing a word. "Be quiet, Monsieur, I pray of you," +she entreated, "there is an English young girl in the corner and she +will of a certainty be shocked." "_Bah, non_," replied the old +_commerçant_, "the English never understand much of any language but +their own" (I hid discreetly behind my paper). + +As we neared Paris there was another stop before the train went over the +temporary bridge that had been erected over the Oise. We could still see +the other that had been blown up by the French in order to stem the +German advance on Paris in August 1914. This shattered bridge brought it +home to me how very near to Paris the Boche had been. + +As I stepped out of the Gare du Nord all the people were looking +skywards at two Taubes which had just dropped several bombs. Some +welcome, I thought to myself! + +Paris in War time at that period (June, 1915) wore rather the +appearance of a deserted city. Every third shop had notices on the doors +to the effect that the owners were absent at the war. Others were being +run by the old fathers and mothers long since retired, who had come up +from the country to "carry on." My friend told me that when she had +returned to Paris in haste from the country, at the beginning of the +war, there was not a taxi available, as they were all being used to rush +the soldiers out to the battle of the Marne. Fancy taxi-ing to a +battlefield! + +The Parisians were very interested to see a girl dressed in khaki, and +discussed each item of my uniform in the Métro quite loudly, evidently +under the same impression as the old _commerçant_! My field boots took +their fancy most. _"Mon Dieu!"_ they would exclaim. "Look then, she +wears the big boots like a man. It is _chic_ that, hein?" + +In one place, an old curiosity shop in the Quartier St. Germain, the +woman was so thrilled to hear I was an _infirmière_ she insisted on me +keeping an old Roman lamp I was looking at as a souvenir, because her +mother had been one in 1870. War has its compensations. + +I also discovered a Monsieur Jollivet at Neuilly, a job-master who had a +few horses left, among them a little English mare which I rode. We went +in the Bois nearly every morning and sometimes along the race course at +Longchamps, the latter very overgrown. "Ah, Mademoiselle," he would +exclaim, "if it was only in the ordinary times, how different would all +this look, and how Mademoiselle would amuse herself at the races!" + +One day walking along near the "Observatoire" an old nun stopped me, and +in broken English asked how the war was progressing. (The people in the +shops did too, as if I had come straight from G.H.Q.!) She then went on +to tell me that she was Scotch, but had never been home for thirty-five +years! I could hardly believe it, as she talked English just as a +Frenchwoman might. She knew nothing at all as to the true position of +affairs, and asked me to come in to the Convent to tea one day, which I +did. + +They all clustered round me when I went, asking if I had met their +relation so-and-so, who was fighting at the front. They were frightfully +disappointed when I said "No, I had not." + +I went to their little chapel afterwards, and later on, the Reverend +Mother, who was so old she had to be supported on each side by two nuns, +came to a window and gave me her blessing. My Scotch friend before I +left pressed a little oxidized silver medal of the Virgin into my hand, +which she assured me would keep me in safety. I treasured it after that +as a sort of charm and always had it with me. + +A few days later I was introduced to Warneford, V.C., the man who had +brought down the first Zeppelin. He had just come to Paris to receive +the _Légion d'Honneur_ and the _Croix de Guerre_, and was being fêted +and spoilt by everybody. He promised towards the end of the week, when +he had worked off some of his engagements, to take me up--strictly +against all rules of course--for a short flight. I met him on the +Monday, I think, and on the Wednesday he crashed while making a trial +flight, and died after from his injuries, in hospital. It seemed +impossible to believe when first I heard of it--he was so full of life +and high spirits. + +We went to Versailles one day. The loneliness and general air of +desertion that overhang the place seemed more intensified by the war +than ever. The grass had grown very long, the air was sultry, and not a +ripple stirred the calm surface of the lake. It seemed somehow very like +the Palace of a Sleeping Beauty. I wondered if the ghost of Marie +Antoinette ever revisited the Trianon or flitted up and down the wooden +steps of the miniature farm where she had played at being a dairymaid? + +As we wended our way back in the evening, the incessant croaking of the +frogs in the big lake was the only sound that broke the stillness. There +was something sinister about it as if they were croaking "We are the +only creatures who now live in this beautiful place, and it is we, with +our ugly voices and bodies, who have triumphed over the beautiful vain +ladies who threw pebbles at us long ago from the terraces."--We turned +away, and the croaking seemed to become more triumphant and echoed in +our ears long after we had left the vicinity. + +At night, in Paris, aeroplanes flew round and round the city on scout +duty switching on lights at intervals that made them look like +travelling stars. They often woke one up, and the noise of the engines +was so loud it seemed sometimes as if they must fly straight through +one's window. I used to love to get up early and go down to "Les +Halles," the French Covent Garden, and come back with literally armfuls +of roses of all shades of delicate pink, white, and cream. Tante Rose +(the only name I ever knew her by) was a widow, and the aunt of my +friend. She was one of the _vieille noblesse_ and had a charming house +in Passy, and was as interesting to listen to as a book. She asked me +one day if I would care to go with her to a Memorial Service at the +_Sacré-Coeur_. Looking out of her windows we could see the church +dominating Paris from the heights of Montmartre, the mosque-like +appearance of its architecture gleaming white against the sky. + +At that moment the dying rays of the sun lit up the golden cross +surmounting it, and presently the whole building became a delicate rose +pink and seemed almost to float above the city, all blue in the haze of +the evening below. It was wonderful, and a picture I shall always carry +in my mind. I replied I would love to go, and on the following day we +toiled up the dazzling white steps. The service was, I think, the most +impressive I have ever attended. Crowds flocked to it, all or nearly all +in that uniform of deep-mourning incomparably _chic_, incomparably +French, and gaining daily in popularity. Long before the service began +the place was packed to suffocation. Tante Rose looked proudly round and +whispered to me, "Ah, my little one, you see here those who have given +their all for France." Indeed it seemed so on looking round at those +white-faced women; and how I wished that _some_ of the people in +England, who had not been touched by the war, or who at that time (June, +1915) hardly realized there even was one, could have been present. + +During another visit to Tante Rose's I heard the following story from an +_infirmière_. A wounded German was brought to one of the French +hospitals. In the bed adjoining lay a Zouave who had had his leg +amputated. The Boche asked for a drink of hot water, the hottest +obtainable. When the Nurse brought it to him he took the glass, and +without a word threw the scalding contents in her face! The Zouave who +had witnessed this brutal act, with a snarl of rage, leapt from his bed +on to the German's and throttled him to death there and then. The other +_blessés_ sat up in bed and cheered. "It is thus," she continued calmly, +"that our brave soldiers avenge us from these brutes." I looked at her +as she sat there so dainty in her white uniform, quite undismayed by +what had taken place. It was just another of those little incidents that +go to show the spirit of the French nation. + +Some American friends of mine took me over their hospital for French +soldiers at Neuilly. It was most beautifully equipped from top to +bottom, and I was especially interested in the dental department where +they fitted men with false jaws, etc. Every comfort was provided, and +some of the patients were lying out on balconies under large umbrellas, +smiling happily at all who passed. I sighed when I thought of the +makeshifts we had _là bas_ at Lamarck. + +I also went to a sort of review held in the Bois of an _Ambulance +Volant_ (ambulance unit to accompany a Battalion), given and driven by +Americans. They also had a field operating theatre. These drivers were +all voluntary workers, and were Yale and Harvard men who had come over +to see what the "show" was really like. Some of them later joined the +French Army, and one the famous "Foreign Legion," and others went back +to the U.S.A. to make shells. + +It was very interesting to hear about the "Foreign Legion." In peace +time most of the people who join it are either fleeing from justice, or +they have no more interest in life and don't care what becomes of them. +It is composed of dare-devils of all nationalities, and the discipline +is of the severest. They are therefore among the most fearless fighters +in the world, and always put in a tight place on the French front. There +is one man at the enlisting dépôt[9] who is a wonderful being, and can size +up a new recruit at a glance. He is known as "Le Sphinx." You must give +him your real name and reason for joining the Legion, and in exchange he +gives you a number by which henceforth you are known. He knows the +secrets of all the Legion, and they are never divulged to a living soul; +he never forgets, nor do they ever pass his lips. One of the most +cherished souvenirs I have is a plain brass button with the inscription +"Légion Étrangère" printed round it in raised letters. + +As early as June, 1915, the French were showing what relics they had +brought back from the battlefields. No better place than the +"Invalides," with Napoleon's tomb towering above, could have been chosen +for their display. Part of the courtyard was taken up by captured guns, +and in two separate corners a "Taube," and a German scout machine, with +black crosses on their wings, were tethered like captured birds. There +the widows, leading their little sons by the hand, came dry-eyed to show +young France what their fathers had died in capturing for the glory of +_La Patrie_. + +"Dost thou know, Maman," I heard one mite saying, "I would like well to +mount astride that cannon there," indicating a huge 7.4, but the woman +only smiled the saddest smile I have ever seen, and drew him over to +gaze at the silvery remains of the Zeppelin that had been brought down +on the Marne. + +The rooms leading off the corridors above were all filled with souvenirs +and helmets, and in another, the captured flags of some of the most +famous Prussian Regiments were spread out in all their glory of gold and +silver embroideries and tassels. + +We went on to see Napoleon's tomb, which made an impression on me which +I shall never forget. The sun was just in the right quarter. As we +entered the building, the ante-room seemed purposely darkened to form +the most complete contrast with the inner; where the sun, streaming +through the wonderful glass windows, shone with a steady shaft of blue +light, almost ethereal in colouring, down into the tomb where the great +Emperor slept. + + + + +CHAPTER X + +CONCERNING A CONCERT, CANTEEN WORK, HOUSEKEEPING, THE ENGLISH CONVOY, +AND GOOD-BYE LAMARCK + + +When I returned to the hospital the "English Invasion" of the town was +an accomplished fact, and the Casino had been taken over as a hospital +for our men. In the rush after Festubert, we were very proud to be +called upon to assist for the time-being in transporting wounded, as the +British Red Cross ambulances had more than they could cope with. This +was the first official driving we did and was to lead to greater things. + +The heat that summer was terrific, so five of us clubbed together and +rented a Chalet on the beach, which was christened _The Filbert_. We +bathed in our off time (when the jelly fish permitted, for, whenever it +got extra warm, a whole plague of them infested the sea, and hot vinegar +was the only cure for their stinging bites; of course we only found this +out well on into the jelly-fish season!). We gave tea parties and supper +parties there, weather and work permitting, and it proved the greatest +boon to us after long hours in hospital. + +As we were never free to use it in the morning we lent it to some +friends, and one day a fearful catastrophe happened. Fresh water was as +hard to get as in a desert, and the only way to procure any was to bribe +French urchins to carry it in large tin jugs from a spring near the +Casino. These people, one of whom was the big Englishman, after running +up from the sea used the water they saw in the jugs to wash the sand off +(after all, quite a natural proceeding) and then, in all ignorance of +their fearful crime, virtuously filled them up again, _but_ from the +sea! + +That afternoon Lowson happened to be giving a rather swell and +diplomatic tea party. Gaily she filled the kettle and set it on the +stove and then made the tea. The Matron of the hospital took a sip and +the Colonel ditto, and then they both put their cups down--(I was not +present, but as _my_ friends committed the crime, you may be sure I +heard all about it, and feel as if I had been). Of course the generally +numerous French urchins were nowhere in sight, and everyone went home +from that salt-water tea party with a terrible thirst! + +A Remount Camp was established at Fort Neuillay. It was an interesting +fact that the last time the fort had been used was by English troops +when that part of the coast was ours. One of the officers there +possessed a beagle called "Flanders." She was one of the survivors of +that famous pack taken over in 1914 that so staggered our allies. One +glorious "half-day" off duty, riding across some fields we started a +beautiful hare. Besides "Flanders" there was a terrier and a French dog +of uncertain breed, and in two seconds the "pack" was in full cry after +"puss," who gave us the run of our lives. Unfortunately the hunt did not +end there, as some French farmers, not accustomed to the rare sight of +half a couple and two mongrels hot after a hare scudding across their +fields, lodged a complaint! When the owner of the beagle was called up +by the Colonel for an explanation he explained himself in this wise. + +"It was like this, Sir, the beagle got away after the hare, and we +thought it best to follow up to bring her back. You see, Sir, don't +you?" + +"Yes, I _do_ see," said the Colonel, with a twinkle. "Well, don't let it +happen again, or she must be destroyed." + +A Y.M.C.A. was also established, and Mr. Sitters, the organiser, begged +us to get up a concert party and amuse the men. In those days Lena +Ashwell's parties were quite unknown, and the men often had to rely on +themselves for entertainment. Our free time was very precious, and we +were often so tired it was a great undertaking to organise rehearsals, +but this Sergt. Wicks did, and very soon we had quite a good show going. + +One day Mr. Sitters obtained passes for us to go far up into the English +lines, and for days beforehand rehearsals were held in the oddest +places.[10] Up to the last minute we were on duty in the wards, and all +those who could gave a helping hand to get us off--seven in all, as +more could not be spared. It was pouring with rain, but we did not mind. +We had had such a rush to get ready and collect such properties as we +needed that, as often happens on these occasions, we were all in the +highest spirits and the show was bound to go well. + +We sped along in the ambulance, "Uncle" driving, and picking up Mr. +Sitters _en route_. Our only pauses were at the barriers of the town, +and on we went again. We had been doing a good 35 and had slowed up to +pass some vehicles going over a bridge, when the pin came out of the +steering rod. If we had not slowed up I can't imagine there would have +been much of the concert party left to perform! + +We pulled up and began to look for it, hoping, as it had just happened, +we might see it lying on the road. Luckily for us at that moment an +English officer drove up and stopped to see if he could be of any help. +He heard where we were bound for, and, as time was getting on, instantly +suggested we should borrow his car and driver and he would wait until it +came back. Mr. Sitters was only too delighted to accept the offer as it +was getting so late. + +He suggested that four of us should get into the officer's car and go +ahead with him and begin the show, leaving the others to follow. We were +a little dubious as our Lieutenant, Sister Lampen, and "Auntie" (the +Matron) were over the brow of the hill searching for the missing pin! +There seemed nothing else to be done, however, so in we all bundled. +The officer was very sporting and wished us "good luck" as we sped off +in his car. + +Farther along, as we got nearer the front, all the sentries were English +which seemed very strange to us. Passing through a village where a lot +of our troops were billeted they gazed in wonder and amazement at the +sight of English girls in that district. + +One incident we thought specially funny--It may not seem particularly so +now, but when you think that for months past we had only had dealings +with French and Belgian soldiers, you will understand how it amused us. +Outside an _Estaminet_ was a horse and cart partly across the road, and +just sufficiently blocking it. The driver called out to a Tommy lounging +outside the Inn to pull it over a little. He gave a truly British grunt, +and went to the horse's head. Nothing happened for some seconds, and we +waited impatiently. Presently he reappeared. + +"Tied oop," he said laconically, in a broad north country accent, and +washed his hands of the matter. How we laughed. Of course a Frenchman +would have made the most elaborate apologies and explanations--a long +conversation would have ensued, and finally salutes and bows exchanged, +before we could have got on. "Tied oop" became quite a saying after +that. + +A F.A.N.Y. eventually coped with the matter, and on we went again. At +last we espied some tents in the distance and struck off down a rutty +lane in their direction. Here we said "good-bye" to our driver +wondering if the other car did not turn up, just how we should get home. +We plunged through mud that came well over the tops of our boots and, +scrambling along some slippery duck boarding, arrived at the recreation +tent. No sign of the other car, so we were obliged to draft out a fresh +programme in the meantime. + +We took off our heavy coats while two batmen used the back of their +clasp knives to scrape off the first layers of mud (hardly the most +attractive footlight wear) from our boots. We heard the M.C. announcing +that the "Concert party" had arrived, and through holes in the canvas we +could see the tent was full to overflowing. Cheers greeted the +announcement, and we shivered with fright. There were hundreds there, +and they had been patiently waiting for hours, singing choruses to pass +the time. + +As we crawled through the canvas at the back of the stage they cheered +us to the echo. The platform was about the size of a dining table, which +rather cramped our style. We always began our shows with a topical song, +each taking a verse in turn, and then all singing the chorus. Towards +the end of our first song the Lieutenant and the others arrived. The +guns boomed so loudly at times the words were quite drowned. The +Programme consisted of Recitations, Songs at the Piano, Solo Songs, +Choruses, Violin, etc.; and to my horror I found they counted on me to +do charcoal drawings, described out of courtesy as "Lightning +sketches!" (an art only developed and cultivated at the insistence of +Sergt. Wicks, who had once discovered me doing some in the wards to +amuse the men). There was nothing else for it, rolls of white paper were +produced and pinned on a table placed on end, and off I started. I first +drew them a typical Belgian officer with lots of Medals which brought +forth the remark that he "must have been through the South African +Campaign!" When I got to his boots, which I did with a good high light +down the centre, someone called out "Don't forget the Cherry Blossom +boot polish, Miss." "What price, _Kiwi_?" etc. When he was finished they +yelled "Souvenir, souvenir," so I handed it over amid great applause, +and felt full of courage! The Crown Prince went down very well and I was +grateful to him for having such a long nose. "We don't want him as no +souvenir," they called--"Wish we drew our pay as fast as you draw little +Willie, Miss." The Kaiser of course had his share, and in his first +stages, to their great joy, evidently resembled one of their officers! +(There's nothing Tommy enjoys quite so much as that.) + +After the "Nut" before the war (complete in Opera hat and monocle) and +"now" in khaki, I could think of nothing more, and boldly, but with some +trepidation, asked if any gentleman in the audience would care to be +drawn. You can imagine the scene. A tent packed with Tommies, every +available place taken up, and those who could not find seats sitting on +the floor right up to the edge of the stage. Yells of delight greeted +the invitation, and several made as if to come forward; finally, one +unfortunate was heaved up from the struggling mass on to the stage. I +always noticed after this that whenever I offered to draw anyone it was +always a man with absolutely _no_ particularly "salient" feature (I +think that is the term) who presented himself. This individual could +best be described as "sandy" in appearance, there was simply _nothing_ +about him to caricature, I thought in despair! The remarks from the +audience, which had been amusing before, now fairly bristled with wit, +mostly of a personal nature. My subject became hotter and hotter as I +seized the charcoal pencil and set off. "Wot _would_ Liza say?" called +out one in a horrified voice. "Don't smile, mate, yer might 'urt yer +fice," called another. "Take 'is temperature, Miss," they called, as the +perspiration began to roll off him in positive rivulets, and "_Don't_ +forget 'is auburn 'air," they implored. As the poor unfortunate had just +been shorn like a lamb, preparatory to going into the trenches, this was +particularly cutting. The remark, however, gave me an inspiration and +the audience yelled delightedly while I put a few black dots, very wide +apart, to indicate the shortage. When finished we shook hands to show +there was no ill feeling, and quite cheerfully, with the expression of a +hero, he bore his portrait off amid cheers from the men. + +The show ended with a song, _Sergeant Michael Cassidy_, which was +extremely popular at that time. For those who have not heard this +classic, it might be as well to give one or two verses. We each had our +own particular one, and then all sang the chorus. + + "You've heard of Michael Cassidy, a strapping Irish bhoy. + Who up and joined the Irish guards as Kitchener's pride and joy; + When on the march you'll hear them shout, 'Who's going to win the war?' + And this is what the khaki lads all answered with a roar: + +_Chorus_ + + "Cassidy, Sergeant Michael Cassidy, + He's of Irish nationality. + He's a lad of wonderful audacity, + Sergeant Michael Cassidy (bang), V.C." + +_Last Verse_ + + "Who was it met a dainty little Belgian refugee + And right behind the firing line, would take her on his knee? + Who was it, when she doubted him, got on his knees and swore + He'd love her for three years or the duration of the War?" + +_Chorus_, etc. + + +This was encored loudly, and someone called out for _Who's your lady +friend?_ As there were not any within miles excepting ourselves, and +certainly none in the audience, it was rather amusing. + +We plunged through the mud again after it was all over and were taken to +have coffee and sandwiches in the Mess. We were just in time to see some +of the men and wish them Good Luck, as they were being lined up +preparatory to going into the trenches. Poor souls, I felt glad we had +been able to do something to cheer them a little; and the guns, which we +had heard distinctly throughout the concert, now boomed away louder than +ever. + +We had a fairly long walk back from the Mess to where the Mors car had +been left owing to the mud, and at last we set off along the dark and +rutty road. + +One facetious French sentry insisted on talking English and flashing his +lantern into the back of the ambulance, saying, "But I _will_ see the +face of each Mees for fear of an espion." He did so, murmuring +"_jolie--pas mal--chic_," etc.! He finally left us, saying: "I am an +officer. Well, ladies, good-bye all!" We were convulsed, and off we slid +once more into the darkness and rain, without any lights, reaching home +about 12, after a very amusing evening. + +Soon after this, we started our "Pleasant Sunday Evenings," as we called +them, in the top room of the hospital, and there from 8 to 9.30 every +Sunday gave coffee and held impromptu concerts. They were a tremendous +success, and chiefly attended by the English. They were so popular we +were often at a loss for seats. Of real furniture there was very little. +It consisted mostly of packing cases covered with army blankets and +enormous _tumpties_ in the middle of the floor--these latter contained +the reserve store of blankets for the hospital, and excellent "pouffs" +they made. + +Our reputation of being able to turn our hands to anything resulted in +Mr. Sitters--rushing in during 10 o'clock tea one morning with the news +that two English divisions were going south from Ypres in a few days' +time, and the Y.M.C.A. had been asked by the Army to erect a temporary +canteen at a certain railhead during the six days they would take to +pass through. There were no lady helpers in those days, and he was at +his wits' end to know where to find the staff. Could any of us be +spared? None of us _could_, as we were understaffed already, but +Lieutenant Franklin put it to us and said if we were willing to +undertake the canteen, as well as our hospital work, which would mean an +average of only five hours sleep in the twenty-four--she had no +objection. There was no time to get fresh Y.M.C.A. workers from England +with the delay of passports, etc., and of course we decided to take it +on, only too pleased to have the chance to do something for our own men. +A shed was soon erected, the front part being left open facing the +railway lines, and counters were put up. The work, which went on night +and day, was planned out in shifts, and we were driven up to the siding +in Y.M.C.A. Fords or any of our own which could be spared. Trains came +through every hour averaging about 900 men on board. There was just time +in between the trains to wash the cups up and put out fresh buns and +chocolates. When one was in, there was naturally no time to wash the +cups up at all, and they were just used again as soon as they were +empty. Canteen work with a vengeance! The whole of the Highland +division passed through together with the 37th. They sat in cattle +trucks mostly, the few carriages there were being reserved for the +officers. It was amusing to notice that at first the men thought we were +French, so unaccustomed were they then to seeing any English girls out +there with the exception of army Sisters and V.A.D.s. + +"_Do chocolat, si voos play_," they would ask, and were speechless with +surprise when we replied sweetly: "Certainly, which kind will you have?" + +I asked one Scotchman during a pause, when the train was in for a longer +interval than usual, how he managed to make himself understood up the +line. "Och fine," he said, "it's not verra deefficult to _parley voo_. I +gang into one o' them Estaminays to ask for twa drinks, I say 'twa' and, +would you believe it, they always hand out three--good natured I call +that, but I hae to pay up all the same," he added! + +Naturally the French people thought he said _trois_. This story +subsequently appeared in print, I believe. + +One regiment had a goat, and Billy was let out for a walk and had +wandered rather far afield, when the train started to move on again. +Luckily those trains never went very fast, but it was a funny sight to +see two Tommies almost throttling the goat in their efforts to drag it +along, pursued by several F.A.N.Y.s (to make the pace), and give it a +final shove up into a truck! + +Towards the end of that week the entire staff became exceedingly short +tempered. The loss of sleep combined with hospital work probably +accounted for it; we even slept in the jolting cars on the way back. We +were more than repaid though, by the smiles of the Tommies and the +gratitude of the Y.M.C.A., who would have been unable to run the canteen +at all but for our help. + +It was at this period in our career we definitely became known as the +"F.A.N.N.Y.s"--"F.A.N.Y.," spelt the passing Tommy--"FANNY," "I wonder +what that stands for?" + +"First anywhere," suggested one, which was not a bad effort, we thought! + +The following is an extract from an account by Mr. Beach Thomas in a +leading daily: + +"Our Yeomanry nurses who, among other work, drive, clean, and manage +their own ambulance cars, are dressed in khaki. Their skirts are short, +their hats (some say their feet), are large! (this we thought hardly +kind). They have done prodigies along the Belgian front. One of their +latest activities has been to devise and work a peripatetic bath. By +ingenious contrivances, tents, and ten collapsible baths, are packed +into a motor car which circulates behind the lines. The water is heated +by the engine in a cistern in the interior of the car and offers the +luxury of a hot bath to several score men." + +This was our famous motor bath called "James," and belonging to "Jimmy" +Gamwell. She saw to the heating of the water and the putting up of the +baths, with their canvas screens sloping from the roof of the ambulance +and so forming at each side a bathroom annexe. A sergeant marshalled the +soldiers in at one end and in about ten minutes' time they emerged +clean, rosy, and smiling at the other! + +The article continued: "These women have run a considerable hospital and +its ambulances entirely by themselves. The work has been voluntary. By +doing their own household work, by feeding themselves at their own +expense (except for a few supplementary Belgian Army rations), by +driving and cleaning their own cars, they have made such a success on +the economical side that the money laboriously collected in England has +all been spent on the direct service of the wounded, and not on +establishment charges." + +A Soup Kitchen brought out by Betty also belonged to our hospital +equipment. It did excellent work down at the Gare Centrale, providing +the wounded with hot soup on their arrival. Great was our excitement +when it was commissioned by a battery up the line. Betty and Lewis set +off in high spirits, and had the most thrilling escapes and adventures +in the Ypres section that would alone fill a book. They were with the +Battery in the early summer when the first gas attack swept over, and +caught them at "Hell fire Corner" on the Ypres-Menin road. It was they +who improvised temporary masks for the men from wads of cotton wool and +lint soaked in carbolic. Luckily they were not near enough to be +seriously gassed, but for months after they both felt the after +effects. Even where we were, we noticed the funny sulphurous smell in +the air which seemed to catch one with a tight sensation in the throat, +and the taste of sulphur was also perceptible on one's lips. We were to +have taken turns with the kitchen, but owing to this episode the +authorities considered the work too dangerous, and after being +complimented on their behaviour they returned to Lamarck. + +We had a lot of daylight Taube raids, Zeppelins for the moment confining +all their efforts to England. It was fascinating to watch the little +round white balls, like baby clouds, where the shrapnel burst in its +efforts to bring the marauders down. + +Very few casualties resulted from these raids and we rather enjoyed +them. One that fell on the Quay killed an old white horse; and a French +sailor found the handle of the bomb among the shrapnel near by and +presented it to me. It seemed odd to think that such a short while +before it had been in the hands of a Boche. + +Jan was a patient we had who had entirely lost his speech and memory. We +could get nothing out of him but an expressive shrug of the shoulders +and a smile. He was a good looking Belgian of about twenty-four; and it +was my duty to take him out by the arm for a short walk each morning to +try and reawaken his interest in life. + +One day I saw the French Governor of the town coming along on horseback +followed by his _ordnance_ (groom). How could I make Jan salute, I +wondered? I knew the General was very particular about such things, and +to all appearance Jan was a normal looking individual. "_Faut saluer le +Général_, Jan," I said, while he was still some distance away, but Jan +only shrugged his shoulders as much as to say, "I might do it, but on +the other hand I might not!" What was I to do? As we drew nearer I again +implored Jan to salute. He shrugged his shoulders, so in desperation, +just as we came abreast I put my arm behind him and seizing his, brought +it up to the salute! The General, whom I knew, seemed fearfully amused +as he returned it, and the next time we met he asked me if I was in the +habit of going for a walk arm in arm with Belgian soldiers, who had to +be made to salute in such a fashion? + +One day we saw an aeroplane falling. At first it was hard to believe it +was not doing some patent stunt. Instead of coming down plumb as one +would imagine, it fell first this way and then that, like a piece of +paper fluttering down from a window. As it got nearer the earth though +where the currents of air were not so powerful, it plunged straight +downwards. Crowds witnessed the descent, and ran to the spot where it +had fallen. + +Greatly to their surprise the pilot was unhurt and the machine hardly +damaged at all. It had fallen just into the sea, and its wings were +keeping it afloat. The pilot was brought ashore in a boat, and when the +tide went down a cordon of guards was placed round the machine till it +was removed. + +Bridget, our former housekeeper at the hospital, went home to England in +the autumn for a rest and I was asked to take on her job. I moved to the +hospital and slept in the top room, behind our sitting-room, together +with the chauffeurs and Lieutenant Franklin. + +I had to see that breakfast was all right, and at 7.30 lay the table in +the big kitchen, get the jam out of our store cupboard, make the tea, +etc. Breakfast over, I had the top room to sweep and dust, the beds to +make, the linen to put out to air, and when that was done it was time to +get "10 o'clocks" ready. After that I sallied forth armed with a big +basket, a fat purse and a long list, and thoroughly enjoyed myself in +the market. + +In the afternoons there were always stacks of hospital mending to do, +and then tea to get ready. Sometimes as many as twelve people--French, +Belgian, or English--used to drop in, and it was no easy task to keep +that teapot going; however it was always done somehow. Luckily we had a +gas-ring, as it would have been an impossibility to run up and down the +sixty-nine steps to the kitchen every time we wanted more hot water. + +At six the housekeeper had to prepare the evening meal for 7.30, and the +Flemish cooks looked on with great amusement at my concoctions--a lot of +it was tinned stuff, so the cooking required was of the simplest. They +always cooked the potatoes for me out of the kindness of their hearts. +The reason they did not do the whole thing was that they were really +off duty at six, but one of them usually stayed behind and helped. + +Work at that time began to slacken off considerably.--A large hut +hospital for typhoids was built and the casualties diminished, partly +because most of the Belgians had already been killed or wounded, and +partly because the remaining few had not much fighting to do except hold +the line behind the inundations. A faint murmur reached us that a +comb-out was going to take place among the British Red Cross Ambulance +drivers, and we wondered who would replace them if they were sent up the +line. + +The anniversary of the opening of Lamarck hospital took place on the +31st October, 1915, and we had a tremendous gathering, French, English, +and Belgians, described in the local rag as "_une réception intime, +l'élite de tout ce que la ville renferme_!" The French Governor-General +of the town, accompanied by two aides-de-camp, came in state. All the +guests visited the wards, and then adjourned for tea to the top room +where the housekeeper had to perform miracles with the gas-ring. A +speech of thanks was made to the Corps, and "Scrubby" (the typhoid +doctor) got up and in _quelques paroles émues_ added his tribute as +well. It was a most successful show and we thought the French Governor +would never depart, he seemed to enjoy himself so much! + +Our next excitement was a big Allied concert given at the Theatre. +Several performances had taken place there since the one I described, +but this was the first time Belgians, French, and English had +collaborated. + +Betty, who had been at Tree's School, was asked to recite, and I was +asked to play the violin. She also got up a one-act farce with +Lieutenant Raby. It is extremely hard to be a housekeeper for a hospital +and work up for a concert at the same time. The only place I could +practise in was the storeroom and there, surrounded by tins of McVitie's +biscuits and Crosse & Blackwell's jam, I resorted when I could snatch a +few minutes! + +At last the day of the concert arrived and we rattled up to the Theatre +in "Flossie." A fairly big programme had been arranged, and the three +Allies were well represented. There was an opera singer from Paris +resplendent in a long red velvet dress, who interested me very much, she +behaved in such an extraordinary way behind the scenes. Before she was +due to go on, she walked up and down literally snorting like a +war-horse, occasionally bursting into a short scale, and then beating +her breast and saying, "_Mon Dieu, que j'ai le trac_," which, being +interpreted, means, approximately, "My God, but I have got the wind up!" +I sat in a corner with my violin and gazed at her in wonder. Everything +went off very well, and we received many be-ribboned bouquets and +baskets of flowers, which transformed the top room for days. + +All lesser excitements were eclipsed when we heard further rumours that +the English Red Cross might take us over to replace the men driving for +them at that time. + +MacDougal and Franklin, our two Lieutenants, were constantly attending +conferences on the subject. + +At last an official requisition came through for sixteen ambulance +drivers to replace the men by January 1, 1916. You can imagine our +excitement at the prospect. The very first women to drive British +wounded officially! It was an epoch in women's work in France and the +forerunner of all the subsequent convoys. + +Simultaneously an article appeared the 2nd December, 1915, headed +"'Yeowomen,' a triumph of hospital organisation," which I may be +pardoned for quoting: + +"A complete unit with sixteen to twenty motor ambulances, organised, +worked, and driven by women, will next month be added to the British +Army. + +"The women will drive their own cars and look after them in every way. +One single male mechanic, and that is all, is to be attached to the +whole unit. These ambulances may of course be summoned from their camp +to hurry over any type of winter-worn road to the neighbourhood of the +firing line. + +"What strength, endurance, and pluck such work demands from women can +easily be understood by anyone who has ever tried to swing a car in cold +weather or repair it by the roadside. + +"It is a very notable fact that for the first time under official +recognition women have been allowed to share in what may be called a +male department of warfare. + +"The Nursing Yeomanry have just extracted this recognition from the War +Office and deserve every compliment that can be paid them; and the +success is worth some emphasis as one of a series of victories for women +workers and organisations, at the top of which is, of course, the +Voluntary Aid Detachment. + +"The actual work of these Yeomen nurses, who rode horseback to the +dressing stations when no other means of conveyance were available, has +been in progress in France and Belgium almost since war was declared. +Most of their work has been done in the face of every kind of +discouragement, but they were never dismayed. Their khaki uniforms on +more than one occasion in Ghent made German sentries jump." (Mrs. +MacDougal arranging for F.A.N.Y. work[11] with the Belgians in September, +1914). + +"This feat of the 'Yeowomen'--who have struggled against a certain +amount of ridicule in England since they started a horse ambulance and +camp some six or seven years ago--is worth emphasis because it is only +one instance, striking but by no means unique, of the complete triumph +of women workers during the past few months!" + + * * * * * + +The next question was to decide who would go to the new English Convoy, +and two or three left for England to become proficient in motor +mechanics and driving. + +I was naturally anxious after a year with the Allies, to work for the +British, but as I could not be spared from housekeeping to go to England +I was dubious as to whether I could pass the test or not. Though I had +come out originally with the idea of being a chauffeur, I had only done +odd work from time to time at Lamarck. "Uncle," however, was very +hopeful and persuaded me to take the test in France before my leave was +due. Accordingly, I went round to the English Mechanical Transport in +the town for the exam., the same test as the men went through. I felt +distinctly like the opera lady at the concert. It was a very greasy day +and the road which we took was bordered on one side by a canal and on +the other by a deep and muddy ditch. As we came to a cross road the +A.S.C. Lieutenant who was testing me, said, "There you see the marks +where the last man I tested skidded with his car." "Yes, rather, how +jolly!" I replied in my agitation, wondering if my fate would be +likewise. We passed the spot more by luck than good management, and then +I reversed for some distance along that same road. At last I turned at +the cross roads, and after some traffic driving, luckily without any +mishap, drove back to hospital. I was questioned about mechanics on the +way, and at the end tactfully explained I was just going on leave and +meant to spend every second in a garage! I got out at the hospital gates +feeling quite sure I had failed, but to my intense relief and joy he +told me I had passed, and he would send up the marks to hospital later +on. I jumped at least a foot off the pavement! + +I went in and told the joyful news to Lieutenant Franklin, who was to be +boss of the new Convoy, while Lieutenant MacDougal was to be head of the +Belgian hospital, and of the unit down at the big Convalescent dépôt in +the S. of France, at Camp de Ruchard, where Lady Baird and Sister Lovell +superintended the hospital, and Chris and Thompson did the driving. + +It was sad to bid good-bye to Lamarck and the Belgians, but as the +English Convoy was to be in the same town it was not as if we should +never see them again. + +"Camille," in Ward I, whose back had been broken when the dug-out +collapsed on him during a bombardment, hung on to my hand while the +tears filled his eyes. He had been my special case when he first +arrived, and his gratitude for anything we could do for him was +touching. + +The Adjutant Heddebaud, who was the official Belgian head of the +hospital, wrote out with many flourishes a panegyric of sorts thanking +me for what I had done, which I duly pasted in my War Album; and so I +said Good-bye to Lamarck and the Belgians, and left for England, +December, 1915. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +THE ENGLISH CONVOY + + +My second leave was spent for the most part at a garage in the +neighbouring town near the village where we lived. I positively dreamt +of carburettors, magnetoes, and how to change tyres! The remaining three +of my precious fourteen days were spent in London enjoying life and +collecting kit and such like. We were to be entirely under canvas in our +new camp, and as it was mid-winter you can imagine we made what +preparations we could to avoid dying of pneumonia. + +The presentation of a fox terrier, "Tuppence," by name, I hailed with +delight. When all else froze, he would keep me warm, I thought! + +It may be interesting to members of the Corps to know the names of those +who formed that pioneer Convoy. They are: Lieutenant Franklin, M. +Thompson (Section Leader), B. Ellis, W. Mordaunt, C. Nicholson, D. +Heasman, D. Reynolds, G. Quin, M. Gamwell, H. Gamwell, B. Hutchinson, +N.F. Lowson, P.B. Waddell, M. Richardson, M. Laidley, O. Mudie-Cooke, P. +Mudie-Cooke and M. Lean (the last three were new members). + +I met Lowson and Lean at Victoria on January 3, 1916, and between us we +smuggled "Tuppence" into the boat train without anyone seeing him; +likewise through the customs at Folkestone. Arrived there we found that +mines were loose owing to the recent storms, and the boat was not +sailing till the next day. Then followed a hunt for rooms, which we duly +found but in doing so lost "Tuppence." The rest of the time was spent +looking for him; and when we finally arrived breathless at the police +station, there was the intelligent dog sitting on the steps! I must here +confess this was one of the few occasions he ever exhibited his talents +in that direction, and as such it must be recorded. He was so well bred +that sometimes he was positively stupid, however, he was beautiful to +look at, and one can't have everything in this world. + +The next morning the sea was still fairly rough; and I went in to the +adjoining room to find that the gallant Lowson was already up and +stirring, and had gone forth into the town in search of "Mother-sill." I +looked out at the sea and hoped fervently she would find some. + +We went on board at nine, after a good breakfast, and decided to stay on +deck. A sailor went round with a megaphone, shouting, "All lifebelts +on," and we were under way. + +I confided "Tuppence" to the care of the ship's carpenter and begged him +to find a spare lifebelt for him, so that if the worst came to the worst +he could use it as a little raft! + +We watched the two destroyers pitching black against the dashing spray +as they sped along on either side convoying us across. + +We arrived at Boulogne in time for lunch, and then set off for our +convoy camp thirty kilometres away, in a British Red Cross touring car +borrowed from the "Christol Hotel." + +We arrived there amid a deluge of rain, and the camp looked indeed a +sorry spectacle with the tents all awry in the hurricane that was +blowing. + +Bell tents flanked one side of the large open space where the ambulances +stood. A big store tent occupied another and the cook-house was in a +shed at the extreme corner, with the Mess tent placed about as far from +it as possible! I fully appreciated this piece of staff work later. +There were also a lot of bathing machines, which made me vaguely wonder +if a Snark had once inhabited the place. + + "The fourth (viz. sign of a Snark) is its fondness for bathing machines + Which it constantly carries about, + And believes that they add to the beauty of scenes-- + A sentiment open to doubt." + +My surmises were brought to an abrupt end. + +"Pat, dear old Pat. I say, old bird, you won't mind going into the +cook-house for a bit, will you, till the real cook comes? You're so +good-natured (?) I know you will, old thing." + +Before I could reply, someone else said: + +"That's settled then; it's perfectly ripping of you." + +"Splendid," said someone else. Being the chief person concerned, I +hadn't had a chance to utter word of protest one way or the other! + +When I _could_ gasp out something, I murmured feebly that I _had_ +thought I was going to drive a car, and had spent most of my leave +sitting in a garage with that end in view. + +"Oh, yes, of course you are, old thing, but the other cook hasn't turned +up yet. Bridget (Laidlay) is worked off her feet, so we decided you'd be +a splendid help to her in the meantime!" + +There was nothing else for it. + +I discovered I was to share a tent with Quin, and dragged my kit over to +the one indicated. I found her wringing out some blankets and was +greeted with the cheery "Hello, had a good leave? I say, old thing, your +bed's a pool of water." + +I looked into the tent and there it was sagging down in the middle with +quite a decent sized pond filling the hollow! "What about keeping some +gold fish?" I suggested, somewhat peevishly. + +Whatever happened I decided I couldn't sleep there that night, and with +Quin's help tipped it up and spread it on some boxes outside, as the sun +had come out. + +That night I spent at Lamarck on a stretcher--it at least had the virtue +of being dry if somewhat hard. + +When I appeared at the cook-house next morning with the words, "Please +mum, I've come!" Bridget literally fell on my neck. She poured out the +difficulties of trying to feed seventeen hungry people, when they all +came in to meals at different hours, especially as the big stove +wouldn't "draw." It had no draught or something (I didn't know very much +about them then). In the meantime all the cooking was done on a huge +Primus stove and the field kitchen outside. I took a dislike to that +field kitchen the moment I saw it, and I think it was mutual. It never +lost an opportunity of "going out on me" the minute my back was turned. +We were rather at a loss to know how to cope with our army rations at +first. We all worked voluntarily, but the army undertook to feed and +house (or rather tent) us. We could either draw money or rations, and at +first we decided on the former. When, however, we realised the enormous +price of the meat in the French shops we decided to try rations instead, +and this latter plan we found was much the best. Unfortunately, as we +had first drawn allowances it took some days before the change could be +effected, and Bridget and I had the time of our lives trying to make +both ends meet in the meantime. That first day she went out shopping it +was my duty to peel the potatoes and put them on to boil, etc. Before +she left she explained how I was to light the Primus stove. Now, if +you've never lit a Primus before, and in between the time you were told +how to do it you had peeled twenty or thirty potatoes, got two scratch +breakfasts, swept the Mess tent and kept that field kitchen from going +out, it's quite possible your mind would be a little blurred. Mine was. +When the time came, I put the methylated in the little cup at the top, +lit it, and then pumped with a will. The result was a terrific roar and +a sheet of flame reaching almost to the roof! Never having seen one in +action before, I thought it was possible they always behaved like that +at first and that the conflagration would subside in a few moments. I +watched it doubtfully, arms akimbo. Bridget entered just then and, +determined not to appear flustered, in as cool a voice as possible I +said: "Is that all right, old thing?" She put down her parcels and, +without a word, seized the stove by one of its legs and threw it on a +sand heap outside! Of course the field kitchen had gone out--(I can't +think who invented that rotten inadequate grating underneath, anyway), +and I felt I was not the bright jewel I might have been. + +Our Mess was a huge Indian tent rather out of repair, and, though it had +a bright yellow lining, dusk always reigned within. The mugs, tin +plates, and the oddest knives and forks constituted the "service." It +was windy and chilly to a degree, and one of the few advantages of being +in the cook-house was that one had meals in comparative warmth. + +My real troubles began at night when, armed with a heavy tray, I set off +on the perilous journey across the camp to the Mess tent to lay the +table. There were no lights, and it was generally raining. The chief +things to avoid were the tent ropes. As I left the cook-house I decided +exactly in my own mind where the bell-tent ropes extended, ditto those +of the store tent and the Mess, but invariably, just as I thought I was +clear, something caught my ankle as securely as any snake, and down I +crashed on top of the tray, the plates, mugs, and knives scattering all +around. Luckily it was months since the latter had been sharp, or a +steel proof overall would have been my only hope. Distances and the +supposititious length of tent ropes are inclined to be deceptive in the +dark. Nothing will make me believe those ropes were inanimate--they +literally lay in wait for me each night! When any loud crash was heard +in camp it was always taken for granted it was "only Pat taking another +toss." + +The wind, too, seemed to take a special delight in doing his bit. Our +camp was situated on the top of a small hill quite near the sea, and +some of the only trees in the neighbourhood flourished there, protected +by a deep thorn hedge. This, however, ended abruptly where the drive led +down to the road. It was when I got opposite the opening where the wind +swept straight up from the sea my real tussle began. As often as not the +tin plates were blown off the tray high into the air! It was then I +realized the value of a chin. Obviously it was meant to keep the lid on +the soup tureen and in this acrobatic attitude, my feet dodging the tent +ropes, I arrived breathless and panting at the door of the Mess tent. +The oil lamp swinging on a bit of wire over the table was as welcome a +sight as an oasis in the desert. + +We had no telephone in those days, and orderlies came up from the Casino +hospital and A.D.M.S. with buff slips when ambulances were wanted. At +that time the cars, Argylls, Napiers, Siddeley-Deaseys, and a Crossley, +inscribed "Frank Crossley, the Pet of Poperinghe," were just parked +haphazard in the open square, some with their bonnets one way and some +another--it just depended which of the two drives up to camp had been +chosen. It will make some of the F.A.N.Y.s smile to hear this, when they +think of the neat rows of cars precisely parked up to the dead straight, +white-washed line that ultimately became the order of things! + +The bathing machines had their uses, one near the cook-house acting as +our larder, another as a store for spare parts, while several others +were adopted by F.A.N.Y.s as their permanent abodes. One bore the +inscription, "The Savoy--Every Modern Inconvenience!" + +Some R.E.'s came to look at the big cook-house stove and decided it must +be put on a raised asphalt sort of platform. Of course this took some +time, and we had to do all the cooking on the Primus. The field kitchen +(when it went) was only good for hot water. We were relieved to see tins +of bully beef and large hunks of cheese arriving in one of the cars the +first day we drew rations, "Thank heaven that at least required no +cooking." It was our first taste of British bully, and we thought it +"really quite decent," and so it was, but familiarity breeds contempt, +and finally loathing. It was the monotony that did it. You would weary +of the tenderest chicken if you had it every other day for months. As +luck would have it, Bridget was again out shopping when, the day +following, a huge round of raw beef arrived. How to cope, that was the +question? (The verb "to cope" was very much in use at that period.) +Obviously it would not fit into the frying pan. But something had to be +done, and done soon, as it was getting late. "They must just have +chops," I said aloud, in desperation, and bravely seizing that round of +beef I cut seventeen squares out of it (slices would have taken too +long; besides, our knife wasn't sharp enough). + +They fried beautifully, and no one in the Mess was heard to murmur. When +you've been out driving from 7.30 a.m. hunger covers a multitude of +sins, and Bridget agreed I'd saved the situation. + +The beef when I'd finished with it looked exactly as if it had been in a +worry. No _wonder_ cooks never eat what they've cooked, I thought. + +To our great disappointment an order came up to the Convoy that all +cameras were to be sent back to England, and everyone rushed round +frantically finishing off their rolls of films. Lowson appeared and took +one of the cook-house "staff" armed with kettles and more or less +covered with smuts. It was rightly entitled, "The abomination of +desolation"--when it came to be gummed into my War Album! + +Quin was a great nut with our tent ropes at night, and though she had +not been in camp before the war, assured me she knew all about them. +Needless to say, I was only too pleased to let her carry on. + +When I rolled in at night after washing up in the cook-house she would +say: "You must come out and tighten the tent ropes with this gale +blowing, it won't be funny if the whole thing blows over in the night." +But none of the horrors she depicted ever persuaded me to turn out once +I was safely tucked up in my "flea bag" with "Tuppence" acting as a +weight to keep the top blankets in place. In the morning when I awoke +after a sound night's sleep, I would exclaim triumphantly: "There you +are, 'Squig,' what price the tent blowing down? It's as safe as a rock +and hasn't moved an inch!" + +"No?" the long-suffering "Squig" would reply bitterly, "it may interest +you to hear I've only been up _twice_ in the night hammering in the pegs +and fixing the ropes!" + +The only time I didn't bless her manipulation of these things was when I +rose at 6.30 a.m., by which time they had been frozen stiff and shrunk +to boot. The ones lacing the flap leading out of the tent were as hard +to undo as if they had been made of iron. On these occasions "Tuppence," +who had hardly realized the seriousness of war, would wake up and want +me instantly to go out, half dressed as I was, and throw stones for his +benefit! That dog had no sense of the fitness of things. If I did not +comply immediately he sat down, threw his head in the air, and "howled +to the moon!" The rest of the camp did not appreciate this pastime; but +if they had known my frenzied efforts with the stiffened ropes "Squig" +had so securely fixed over-night, their sympathies would have been with, +rather than against, me. + +One night we had a fearful storm (at least "Squig" told me of it in the +morning and I had no reason to doubt her word), and just as I was +rolling out of bed we heard yells of anguish proceeding from one of the +other tents. + +That one had collapsed we felt no doubt, and, rushing out in pyjamas +just as we were, in the wind and rain, we capered delightedly to the +scene of the disaster. The Sisters Mudie-Cooke (of course it would be +their tent that had gone) were now hidden from sight under the heavy +mass of wet canvas on top of them. The F.A.N.Y.s, their hair flying in +the wind, looking more like Red Indians on a scalping expedition than a +salvage party, soon extricated them, and they were taken, with what +clothes could be rescued, to another tent. Their fate, "Squig" assured +me, would have assuredly been ours had it not been for her! + +Madame came into existence about this time. She was a poor Frenchwoman +whom we hired to come and wash the dishes for us. She had no teeth, +wispy hair, and looked very underfed and starved. Her "man" had been +killed in the early days of the war. Though she looked hardly strong +enough to do anything, Bridget and I, who interviewed her jointly, had +not the heart to turn her away, and she remained with us ever after and +became so strong and well in time she looked a different woman. + +The Mess tent was at last moved nearer the cook-house (I had fallen over +the ropes so often that, quite apart from any feelings I had left, it +was a preventive measure to save what little crockery we possessed). + +The cars were all left in a pretty rotten condition, and the petrol was +none too good. How Kirkby, the one mechanic, coped at that time, always +with a cheery smile, will never be known. As Winnie aptly remarked, "In +these days there are only two kinds of beings in the Convoy--a "Bird" +and a "Blighter"!"[12] Kirkby was decidedly in the "Bird" class. + +"Be a bird, and do such and such a thing," was a common opening to a +request. Of course if you refused you were a "blighter" of the worst +description. + +As you will remember, I was only in the cook-house as a "temporary +help," and great was my joy when Logan (fresh from the Serbian campaign) +loomed up on the horizon as the pukka cook. I retired gracefully--my +only regret being Bridget's companionship. Two beings could hardly have +laughed as much as we had done when impossible situations had arisen, +and when the verb "to cope" seemed ineffective and life just one +"gentle" thing after the other. + +I was given the little Mors lorry to drive. To say I adored that car +would not be exaggerating my feelings about it at all. The seat was my +chief joy, it was of the racing variety, some former sportsman having +done away with the tool box that had served as one! "Tuppy" also +appreciated that lorry, and when we set off to draw rations, lying +almost flat, the tips of his ears could just be seen from the front on a +line with the top of my cap. + +One of my jobs was to take Sergeant McLaughlan to fetch the hospital +washing from a laundry some distance out of the town. He was an old +"pug," but had grown too heavy to enter the ring, and kept his hand in +coaching the promising young boxers stationed in the vicinity. In +consequence, what I did not know about all their different merits was +not worth knowing, and after a match had taken place every round was +described in full. I grew quite an enthusiast. + +He could never bear to see another car in front without trying to pass +it. "Let her rip, Miss," he would implore--"Don't be beat by them +Frenchies." Needless to say I did not need much encouragement, and +nothing ever passed us. (There are no speed limits in France.) There was +a special hen at one place we always tried to catch, but it was a wily +bird and knew a thing or two. McLaughlan was dying to take it home to +the Sergeants' Mess, but we never got her. + +One day, as we were rattling down the main street, one of the tyres went +off like a "4.2." We drew to the side, and there it was, as flat as a +pancake. + +There are always a lot of people in the streets of a town who seem to +have nothing particular to do, and very soon quite a decent-sized crowd +had collected. + +"We must do this in record time," I said to McLaughlan, who knew nothing +about cars, and kept handing me the wrong spanners in his anxiety to +help. "See," exclaimed one, "it makes her nothing to dirty her hands in +such a manner." + +"They work like men, these English young girls, is it not so?" said +another. "_Sapristi, c'est merveilleux._" + +"One would truly say from the distance that they _were_ men, but this +one, when one sees her close, is not too bad!" said a third. + +"Passing remarks about _you_, they are, I should say," said McLaughlan +to me as I fixed the spare wheel in place. + +"You wait," I panted, "I'll pay them out." + +"See you her strong boots?" they continued. "Believe you that she can +understand what we say?" asked one. "Never on your life," was the +answer, and the wheel in place, they watched every movement as I wiped +my hands on a rag and drew on my gloves. "Eight minutes exactly," +whispered McLaughlan triumphantly, as he seated himself beside me on the +lorry preparatory to starting. + +The crowd still watched expectantly, and, leaning out a little, I said +sweetly, in my best Parisian accent: "_Mesdames et Messieurs, la séance +est terminée_." And off we drove! Their expressions defied description; +I never saw people look so astounded. McLaughlan was unfeignedly +delighted. "Wot was that you 'anded out to them, Miss?" he asked. "Fair +gave it 'em proper anyway, straight from the shoulder," and he chuckled +with glee. + +I frequently met an old A.S.C. driver at one of the hospitals where I +had a long wait while the rations were unloaded. He was fat, rosy, and +smiling, and we became great friends. He was at least sixty; and told me +that when War broke out, and his son enlisted, he could not bear to feel +he was out of it, and joined up to do his bit as well. He was a taxi +owner-driver in peace times, and had three of them; the one he drove +being fitted with "real silver vauses!" I heard all about the "missus," +of whom he was very proud, and could imagine how anxiously she watched +the posts for letters from her only son and her old man. + +Some months later when I was driving an ambulance a message was brought +to me that Stone was in hospital suffering from bronchitis. I went off +to visit him. + +"I'm for home this time," he said sadly, "but won't the old missus be +pleased?" I looked at his smiling old face and thought indeed she would. + +He asked particularly if I would drive him to the boat when he was sent +to England. "It'll seem odd to be going off on a stretcher, Miss," he +said sadly, "just like one of the boys, and not even so much as a +scratch to boast of." I pointed out that there were many men in England +half his age who had done nothing but secure cushy jobs for themselves. + +"Well, Miss," he said, as I rose to leave, "it'll give me great pleasure +to drive you about London for three days when the war's over, and in my +best taxi, too, with the silver vauses!" + +(N.B. I'm still looking for him.) + +Life in the Convoy Camp was very different from Lamarck, and I missed +the cheery companionship of the others most awfully. At meal times only +half the drivers would be in, and for days at a time you hardly saw your +friends. + +There were no "10 o'clocks" either. Of course, if you happened to be in +camp at that time you probably got a cup of tea in the cook-house, but +it's not much of a pastime with no one else to drink it with you. +"Pleasant Sunday Evenings" were also out of the question for, with all +the best intentions in the world, no one could have spent an evening in +our Mess tent (even to the accompaniment of soft music) and called it +"pleasant!" They were still carried on at Lamarck, however, and whenever +possible we went down in force. + + +A BLACK DAY IN THE LIFE OF A CONVOY F.A.N.Y. + + (_By kind permission of Winifred Mordaunt, + From "Barrack Room Ballads + of the F.A.N.Y. Corps."_) + + Gentle reader, when you've seen this, + Do not think, please, that I mean this + As a common or garden convoy day, + For the Fany, as a habit + Is as jolly as a rabbit-- + Or a jay. + + But the're days in one's existence, + When the ominous persistence + Of bad luck goes thundering heavy on your track, + Though you shake him off with laughter, + He will leap the moment after-- + On your back. + + 'Tis the day that when on waking, + You will find that you are taking, + Twenty minutes when you haven't two to spare, + And the bloomin' whistle's starting, + When you've hardly thought of parting-- + Your front hair! + + You acquire the cheerful knowledge, + Ere you rush to swallow porridge, + That "fatigue" has just been added to your bliss, + "If the weather's no objection, + There will be a car inspection-- + Troop--dismiss!" + + With profane ejaculation, + You will see "evacuation" + Has been altered to an earlier hour than nine, + So your 'bus you start on winding, + Till you hear the muscles grinding-- + In your spine. + + Let's pass over nasty places, + Where you jolt your stretcher cases + And do everything that's wrong upon the quay, + Then it's time to clean the boiler, + And the sweat drops from the toiler, + Oh--dear me! + + When you've finished rubbing eye-wash, + On your engine, comes a "Kibosch." + As the Section-leader never looks at it, + But a grease-cap gently twisting, + She remarks that it's consisting,-- + "Half of grit." + + Then as seated on a trestle, + With the toughest beef you wrestle, + That in texture would out-rival stone or rock, + You are told you must proceed, + To Boulogne, with care and speed + At two o'clock. + + As you're whisking through Marquise + (While the patients sit at ease) + Comes the awful sinking sizzle of a tyre, + It is usual in such cases, + That your jack at all such places, + Won't go higher. + + A wet, cold rain starts soaking, + And the old car keeps on choking, + Your hands and face are frozen raw and red, + Three sparking-plugs are missing, + There's another tyre a-hissing, + Well--! 'nuff said! + + You reach camp as night's descending, + To the bath with haste you're wending, + A hot tub's the only thing to save a cough, + Cries the F.A.N.Y. who's still in it, + "Ah! poor soul, why just this minute, + Water's off!" + +_N.B._--It was a popular pastime of the powers that be to turn the water +off at intervals, without any warning, rhyme or reason--one of the +tragedies of the War. + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +THE PASSING OF THE LITTLE LORRY, "OLD BILL" AND "'ERB" AT AUDRICQ + + +A mild sensation was caused one day by a collision on the Boulogne road +when a French car skidded into one of ours (luckily empty at the time) +and pushed it over into the gutter. + +"Heasy" and Lowson were both requested to appear at the subsequent Court +of Enquiry, and Sergeant Lawrence, R.A.M.C. (who had been on the +ambulance at the time) was bursting with importance and joy at the +anticipation of the proceedings. He was one of the chief witnesses, and +apart from anything else it meant an extra day's pay for him, though why +it should I could never quite fathom. + +As they drove off, with Boss as chaperone, a perfect salvo of old shoes +was thrown after them! + +They returned with colours flying, for had not Lowson saved the +situation by producing a tape measure three minutes after the accident, +measuring the space the Frenchman swore was wide enough for his car to +pass, and proving thereby it was a physical impossibility? + +"How," asked the Colonel, who was conducting the Enquiry, "can you +declare with so much certainty the space was 3 feet 8 inches?" + +"I measured it," replied Lowson promptly. + +"May I ask with what?" he rasped. + +"A tape-measure I had in my pocket," replied she, smiling affably the +while (sensation). + +The Court of Enquiry went down like a pack of cards before that tape +measure. Such a thing had never been heard of before; and from then +onwards the reputation of the "lady drivers" being prepared for all +"immersions" was established finally and irrevocably. + +It was a marvel how fit we all kept throughout those cold months. It was +no common thing to wake up in the mornings and find icicles on the top +blanket of the "flea bag" where one's breath had frozen, and of course +one's sponge was a solid block of ice. It was duly placed in a tin basin +on the top of the stove and melted by degrees. Luckily we had those +round oil stoves; and with flaps securely fastened at night we achieved +what was known as a "perfectly glorious fug." + +Engineers began to make frequent trips to camp to choose a suitable site +for the huts we were to have to replace our tents. + +My jobs on the little lorry were many and varied; getting the weekly +beer for the Sergeants' Mess being one of the least important. I drew +rations for several hospitals as well as bringing up the petrol and +tyres for the Convoy, rationing the Officers' Mess, etc.; and regularly +at one o'clock just as we were sitting at Mess, Sergeant Brown would +appear (though we never saw more of him than his legs) at the aperture +that served as our door, and would call out diffidently in his high +squeaky voice: "Isolation, when you're ready, Miss," and as regularly +the whole Mess would go off into fits! This formula when translated +meant that he was ready for me to take the rations to the Isolation +hospital up the canal. Hastily grabbing some cheese I would crank up the +little lorry and depart. + +The little lorry did really score when an early evacuation took place, +at any hour from 4 a.m. onwards, when the men had to be taken from the +hospitals to the ships bound for England. How lovely to lie in bed and +hear other people cranking up their cars! + +Barges came regularly down the canals with cases too seriously wounded +to stand the jolting in ambulance trains. One day we were all having +tea, and some friends had dropped in, when a voice was heard calling +"Barges, Barges." Without more ado the whole Mess rose, a form was +overturned, and off they scampered as fast as they could to get their +cars and go off immediately. The men left sitting there gazed blankly at +each other and finally turned to me for an explanation--(being a lorry, +I was not required). "Barges," I said; "they all have to hurry off as +quickly as possible to unload the cases." They thought it rather a +humorous way of speeding the parting guest, but I assured them work +always came before (or generally during) tea in our Convoy! Major S.P. +never forgot that episode, and the next time he came, heralded his +arrival by calling out at the top of his voice, "Barges, Barges!" with +the result that half the Convoy turned out _en masse_. He assured his +friends it was the one method of getting a royal welcome. + +I shall never forget with what fear and trepidation I drove my first lot +of wounded. I was on evening duty when the message came up about seven +that there were eight bad cases, too bad to stay on the barge till next +morning, which were to be removed to hospital immediately. Renny and I +set off, each driving a Napier ambulance. We backed into position on the +sloping shingly ground near the side of the canal, and waited for the +barge to come in. + +Presently we espied it slipping silently along under the bridge. The +cases were placed on lifts and slung gently up from the inside of the +barge, which was beautifully fitted up like a hospital ward. + +It is not an easy matter when you are on a slope to start off smoothly +without jerking the patients within; and I held my breath as I +declutched and took off the brake, accelerating gently the meanwhile. +Thank heaven! We were moving slowly forward and there had been no jerk. +They were all bad cases and an occasional groan would escape their lips +in spite of themselves. I dreaded a certain dip in the road--a sort of +open drain known in France as a _canivet_--but fortunately I had +practised crossing it when out one day trying a Napier, and we +manoeuvred it pretty fairly. My relief on getting to hospital was +tremendous. My back was aching, so was my knee (from constant +clutch-slipping over the bumps and cobbles), and my eyes felt as if they +were popping out of my head. In fact I had a pretty complete "stretcher +face!" I had often ragged the others about their "stretcher faces," +which was a special sort of strained expression I had noticed as I +skimmed past them in the little lorry, but now I knew just what it felt +like. + +The new huts were going apace, and were finished about the end of April, +just as the weather was getting warmer. We were each to have one to +ourselves, and they led off on each side of a long corridor running down +the centre. These huts were built almost in a horse-shoe shape and--joy +of joys! there were to be two bathrooms at the end! We also had a +telephone fixed up--a great boon. The furniture in the huts consisted of +a bed and two shelves, and that was all. There was an immediate slump in +car cleaning. The rush on carpentering was tremendous. It was by no +means safe for a workman to leave his tools and bag anywhere in the +vicinity; his saw the next morning was a thing to weep over if he did. +(It's jolly hard to saw properly, anyway, and it really looks such an +easy pastime.) + +The wooden cases that the petrol was sent over in from England, large +enough to hold two tins, were in great demand. These we made into +settees and stools, etc., and when stained and polished they looked +quite imposing. The contractor kindly offered to paint the interiors of +the huts for us as a present, but we were a little startled to see the +brilliant green that appeared. Someone unkindly suggested that he could +get rid of it in no other way. + +When at last they were finished we received orders to take up our new +quarters, but, funnily enough, we had become so attached to our tents by +that time that we were very loath to do so. A fatigue party however +arrived one day to take the tents down, so there was nothing for it. +Many of the workmen were most obliging and did a lot of odd jobs for us. +I rescued one of the Red Cross beds instead of the camp one I had had +heretofore--the advantage was that it had springs--but there was only +the mattress part, and so it had to be supported on two petrol cases for +legs! The disadvantage of this was that as often as not one end slipped +off in the night and you were propelled on to the floor, or else two +opposite corners held and the other two see-sawed in mid-air. Both great +aids to nightmares. + +"Tuppence" did not take at all kindly to the new order of things; he +missed chasing the mice that used to live under the tent boards and +other minor attractions of the sort. + +The draughtiness and civilization of the new huts compared with the +"fug" of the tents all combined to give us chills! I had a specially bad +one, and managed with great skill to wangle a fortnight's sick leave in +Paris. + +The journey had not increased much in speed since my last visit, but +everything in Paris itself had assumed a much more normal aspect. The +bridge over the Oise had long since been repaired, and hardly a shop +remained closed. I went to see my old friend M. Jollivet at Neuilly, and +had the same little English mare to ride in the Bois, and also visited +many of the friends I had made during my first leave there. + +I got some wonderful French grey Ripolin sort of stuff from a little +shop in the "Boul' Mich" with which to tone down the violent green in my +hut, that had almost driven me mad while I lay ill in bed. + +The Convoy was gradually being enlarged, and a great many new drivers +came out from England just after I got back. McLaughlan gave me a great +welcome when I went for the washing that afternoon. "It's good to see +you back, Miss," he said, "the driver they put on the lorry was very +slow and cautious--you know the 'en we always try to catch? Would you +believe it we slowed down to walking pace so as to _miss_ 'er!" and he +sniffed disgustedly. + +The news of the battle of Jutland fell like a bombshell in the camp +owing to the pessimistic reports first given of it in the papers. A +witty Frenchman once remarked that in all our campaigns we had only won +one battle, but that was the last, and we felt that however black things +appeared at the moment we would come out on top in the end. The news of +Kitchener's death five days later plunged the whole of the B.E.F. into +mourning, and the French showed their sympathy in many touching ways. + +One day to my sorrow I heard that the little Mors lorry was to be done +away with, owing to the shortage of petrol that began to be felt about +this time, and that horses and G.S. wagons were to draw rations, etc., +instead. It had just been newly painted and was the joy of my +heart--however mine was not to reason why, and in due course Red Cross +drivers appeared with two more ambulances from the Boulogne _dépôt_, and +they made the journey back in the little Mors. + +It was then that "Susan" came into being. + +The two fresh ambulances were both Napiers, and I hastily consulted +Brown (the second mechanic who had come to assist Kirkby as the work +increased) which he thought was the best one. (It was generally felt I +should have first choice to console me for the loss of the little Mors.) + +I chose the speediest, naturally. She was a four cylinder Napier, given +by a Mrs. Herbert Davies to the Red Cross at the beginning of the war +(_vide_ small brass plate affixed), and converted from her private car +into an ambulance. She had been in the famous old Dunkirk Convoy in +1914, and was battle-scarred, as her canvas testified, where the bullets +and shrapnel had pierced it. She had a fat comfortable look about her, +and after I had had her for some time I felt "Susan" was the only name +for her; and Susan she remained from that day onwards. She always came +up to the scratch, that car, and saved my life more than once. + +We snatched what minutes we could from work to do our "cues," as we +called our small huts. It was a great pastime to voyage from hut to hut +and see what particular line the "furnishing" was taking. Mine was +closed to all intruders on the score that I had the "painters in." It +was to be _art nouveau_. I found it no easy matter to get the stuff on +evenly, especially as I had rather advanced ideas as to mural +decoration! With great difficulty I stencilled long lean-looking +panthers stalking round the top as a sort of fresco. I cut one pattern +out in cardboard and fixing it with drawing pins painted the Ripolin +over it, with the result that I had a row of green panthers prowling +round against a background of French grey! I found them very restful, +but of course opinions differ on these subjects. Curtains and cushions +were of bright Reckitt's blue material, bought in the market, relieved +by scrolls of dull pink wool embroidered (almost a stitch at a time) in +between jobs. The dark stained "genuine antiques" or _veritables +imitations_ (as I once saw them described in a French shop) looked +rather well against this background; and a tremendous house-warming took +place to celebrate the occasion. + +No. 30 Field hospital arrived one day straight from Sicily, where it had +apparently been sitting ever since the war, awaiting casualties. + +As there seemed no prospect of any being sent, they were ordered to +France, and took up their quarters on a sandy waste near the French +coastal forts. The orderlies had picked up quite a lot of Italian during +their sojourn and were never tired of describing the wonderful sights +they had seen. + +While waiting for patients there one day, a corporal informed me that on +the return journey they had "passed the volcano Etna, in rupture!" + +A great many troops came to a rest camp near us, and I always feel that +"Tuppence's" disappearance was due to them. He _would_ be friendly with +complete strangers, and several times had come in minus his collar +(stolen by French urchins, I supposed). I had just bought his fourth, +and rather lost heart when he turned up the same evening without it once +more. Work was pouring in just then, and I would sometimes be out all +day. When last I saw him he was playing happily with Nellie, another +terrier belonging to a man at the Casino, and that night I missed him +from my hut. I advertised in the local rag (he was well known to all the +French people as he was about the only pure bred dog they'd ever seen), +but to no avail. I also made visits to the _Abattoir_, the French +slaughter house where strays were taken, but he was not there, and I +could only hope he had been taken by some Tommies, in which case I knew +he would be well looked after. I missed him terribly. + +Work came in spasms, in accordance with the fighting of course, and when +there was no special push on we had tremendous car inspections. Boss +walked round trying to spot empty grease caps and otherwise making +herself thoroughly objectionable in the way of gear boxes and +universals. On these occasions "eye-wash" was extensively applied to the +brass, the idea being to keep her attention fixed well to the front by +the glare. + +One day, when all manner of fatigues and other means of torture had been +exhausted, Dicky and Freeth discovered they had a simultaneous birthday. +Prospects of wounded arriving seemed nil, and permission was given for a +fancy-dress tea party to celebrate the double event. It must be here +understood that whether work came in or not we all had to remain on duty +in camp till five every day, in case of the sudden arrival of ambulance +trains, etc. After that hour, two of us were detailed to be on evening +duty till nine, while all night duty was similarly taken in turns. +Usually, after hanging about all day till five, a train or barges would +be announced, and we were lucky if we got into bed this side of 12. +Hardly what you might call a "six-hour day," and yet nobody went on +strike. + +The one in question was fine and cloudless, and birthday wishes in the +shape of a Taube raid were expressed by the Boche, who apparently keeps +himself informed on all topics. + +The fancy dresses (considering what little scope we had and that no one +even left camp to buy extras in the town) were many and varied. "Squig" +and de Wend were excellent as bookies, in perfectly good toppers made +out of stiff white paper with deep black ribbon bands and "THE OLD +FIRM" painted in large type on cards. Jockeys, squaws, yokels, etc., all +appeared mysteriously from nothing. I was principally draped in my +Reckitts blue upholsterings and a brilliant Scherezade kimono, bought in +a moment of extravagance in Paris. + +The proceedings after tea, when the cooks excelled themselves making an +enormous birthday cake, consisted of progressive games of sorts. You +know the kind of thing, trying to pick up ten needles with a pin (or is +it two?) and doing a Pelman memory stunt after seeing fifty objects on a +tray, and other intellectual pursuits of that description. Another stunt +was putting a name to different liquids which you smelt blindfold. This +was the only class in which I got placed. I was the only one apparently +who knew the difference between whisky and brandy! Funnily enough, would +you believe it, it was the petrol that floored me. Considering we +wallowed in it from morning till night it was rather strange. I was +nearly spun altogether when it came to the game of Bridge in the +telephone room. "I've never played it in my life," I said desperately. +"Never mind," said someone jokingly, "just take a hand." I took the tip +seriously and did so, looking at my cards as gravely as a judge--finally +I selected one and threw it down. To my relief no one screamed or +denounced me and I breathed again. (It requires some skill to play a +game of Bridge when you know absolutely nothing about it.) + +"Pity you lost that last trick," said my partner to me as we left the +room; "it was absolutely in your hand." + +"Was it?" I asked innocently. + +We had a rush of work after this, and wounded again began to pour in +from the Third Battle of Ypres. + +Early evacuations came regularly with the tides. They would begin at 4 +a.m. and get half an hour later each day. When we took "sitters" (i.e. +sitting patients with "Blighty" wounds), one generally came in front and +sat beside the driver, and on the way to the Hospital Ships we sometimes +learnt a lot about them. I had a boy of sixteen one day, a bright cheery +soul. "How did you get in?" (meaning into the army), I asked. "Oh, well, +Miss, it was like this, I was afraid it would be over before I was old +enough, so I said I was eighteen. The recruiting bloke winked and so did +I, and I was through." Another, when asked about his wound, said, "It's +going on fine now, Sister (they always called us Sister), but I lost me +conscience for two days up the line with it." + +We had a bunch of Canadians to take one day. "D'you come from Sussex?" +asked one, of me. "No," I replied, "from Cumberland." "That's funny," he +said, "the V.A.D. who looked after me came from Sussex, and she had the +same accent as you, I guess!" Another man had not been home for five +years, but had joined up in Canada and come straight over. A Scotsman +had not been home for twenty, and he intended to see his "folks" and +come out again as soon as he was passed fit by the doctors. + +One fine morning at 5 a.m. we were awakened by a fearful din, much worse +than the usual thing. The huts trembled and our beds shook beneath us, +not to mention the very nails falling out of the walls! We wondered at +first if it was a fleet of Zepps. dropping super-bombs, but decided it +was too light for them to appear at that hour. + +There it was again, as if the very earth was being cleft in two, and our +windows rattled in their sockets. It is not a pleasant sensation to have +steady old Mother Earth rocking like an "ashpan" leaf beneath your feet. + +We dressed hurriedly, knowing that the cars might be called on to go out +at any moment. + +What the disaster was we could not fathom, but that it was some distance +away we had no doubt. + +At 7 a.m. the telephone rang furiously, and we all waited breathless for +the news. + +Ten cars were ordered immediately to Audricq, where a large ammunition +dump had been set on fire by a Boche airman. + +Heavy explosions continued at intervals all the morning as one shed +after another became affected. + +When our cars got there the whole dump was one seething mass of smoke +and flames, and shells of every description were hurtling through the +air at short intervals. Several of these narrowly missed the cars. It +was a new experience to be under fire from our own shells. The roads +were littered with live ones, and with great difficulty the wheels of +the cars were steered clear of them! + +Many shells were subsequently found at a distance of five miles, and one +buried itself in a peaceful garden ten miles off! + +A thousand 9.2's had gone off simultaneously and made a crater big +enough to bury a village in. It was this explosion that had shaken our +huts miles away. The neighbouring village fell flat like a pack of cards +at the concussion, the inhabitants having luckily taken to the open +fields at the first intimation that the dump was on fire. + +The total casualties were only five in number, which was almost +incredible in view of the many thousands of men employed. It was due to +the presence of mind of the Camp Commandant that there were not more; +for, once he realized the hopeless task of getting the fire under +control, he gave orders to the men to clear as fast as they could. They +needed no second bidding and made for the nearest _Estaminets_ with +speed! The F.A.N.Y.s found that instead of carrying wounded, their task +was to search the countryside (with Sergeants on the box) and bring the +men to a camp near ours. "Dead?" asked someone, eyeing the four +motionless figures inside one of the ambulances. "Yes," replied the +F.A.N.Y. cheerfully--"drunk!" + +The Boche had flown over at 3 a.m. but so low down the Archies were +powerless to get him. As one of the men said to me, "If we'd had rifles, +Miss, we could have potted him easy." + +He flew from shed to shed dropping incendiary bombs on the roofs as he +passed, and up they went like fireworks. The only satisfaction we had +was to hear that he had been brought down on his way back over our +lines, so the Boche never heard of the disaster he had caused. + +Some splendid work was done after the place had caught fire. One +officer, in spite of the great risk he ran from bursting shells, got the +ammunition train off safely to the 4th army. Thanks to him, the men up +the line were able to carry on as if nothing had happened, till further +supplies could be sent from other dumps. It was estimated that four +days' worth of shells from all the factories in England had been +destroyed. + +An M.T. officer got all the cars and lorries out of the sheds and +instructed the drivers to take them as far from the danger zone as +possible, while the Captain in charge of the "Archie" Battery stuck to +his guns; and he and his men remained in the middle of that inferno +hidden in holes in their dug-out, from which it was impossible to rescue +them for two days. + +Five days after the explosion Gutsie and I were detailed to go to +Audricq for some measles cases, and we reported first to the Camp +Commandant, who was sitting in the remains of his office, a shell +sticking up in the floor and half his roof blown away. + +He gave us permission to see the famous crater, and instructed one of +the subalterns to show us round. There were still fires burning and +shells popping in some parts and the scenes of wreckage were almost +indescribable. + +The young officer was not particularly keen to take us at all and said +warningly, "You come at your own risk--there are nothing but live shells +lying about, liable to go off at any moment. Be careful," he said to me, +"you're just stepping on one now." I hopped off with speed, but all the +same we were not a whit discouraged, which seemed to disappoint him. + +As Gutsie and I stumbled and rolled over 4.2's and hand grenades I +quoted to her from the "Fuse-top collectors"--"You can generally 'ear +'em fizzin' a bit if they're going to go 'orf, 'Erb!" by way of +encouragement. Trucks had been lifted bodily by the concussion, and +could be seen in adjacent fields; many of the sheds had been half blown +away, leaving rows of live shells lying snugly in neat piles, but as +there was no knowing when they might explode it was decided to scrap the +whole dump when the fires had subsided. + +We walked up a small hill literally covered with shells and empty hand +grenades of the round cricket ball type, two of which were given to us +to make into match boxes. Every description of shell was there as far as +the eye could see, and some were empty and others were not. We reached +the summit, walking gingerly over 9.2's (which formed convenient steps) +to find ourselves at the edge of the enormous crater already half filled +with water. It was incredible to believe a place of that size had been +formed in the short space of one second, and yet on the other hand, +when I remembered how the earth had trembled, the wonder was it was not +even larger. + +It took weeks for that dump to be cleared up. Little by little the live +shells were collected and taken out to sea in barges, and dropped in +mid-ocean. + +Not long after that the "Zulu," a British destroyer, came into port half +blown away by a mine. Luckily the engine was intact and still working, +but the men, who had had marvellous escapes, lost all their kit and +rations. We were not able to supply the former, unfortunately, but we +remedied the latter with speed, and also took down cigarettes, which +they welcomed more than anything. + +We were shown all over the remains, and hearing that the "Nubia" had +just had her engine room blown away, we suggested that the two ends +should be joined together and called the "Nuzu," but whether the +Admiralty thought anything of the idea I have yet to learn! + +Before the Captain left he had napkin rings made for each of us out of +the copper piping from the ship, in token of his appreciation of the +help we had given. + +The Colonials were even more surprised to see girls driving in France +than our own men had been. + +One man, a dear old Australian, was being invalided out altogether and +going home to his wife. He told me how during the time he had been away +she had become totally blind owing to some special German stuff, that +had been formerly injected to keep her sight, being now unprocurable. +"Guess she's done her bit," he ended; "and I'm off home to take care of +her. She'll be interested to hear how the lassies work over here," and +we parted with a handshake. + +Important conferences were always taking place at the Hôtel Maritime, +and one day as I was down on the quay the French Premier and several +other notabilities arrived. "There's Mr. Asquith," said an R.T.O. to me. +"That!" said I, in an unintentionally loud voice, eyeing his long hair, +"I thought he was a 'cellist belonging to a Lena Ashwell Concert party!" +He looked round, and I faded into space. + +Taking some patients to hospital that afternoon we passed some +Australians marching along. "Fine chaps," said the one sitting on the +box to me, "they're a good emetic of their country, aren't they?" (N.B. +I fancy he meant to say emblem.) + +Our concert party still flourished, though the conditions for practising +were more difficult than ever. Our Mess tent had been moved again on to +a plot of grass behind the cook-house to leave more space for the cars +to be parked, and though we had a piano there it was somehow not +particularly inspiring, nor had we the time to practise. The Guards' +Brigade were down resting at Beau Marais, and we were asked to give them +a show. We now called ourselves the "FANTASTIKS," and wore a black +pierrette kit with yellow bobbles. The rehearsals were mostly conducted +in the back of the ambulance on the way there, and the rest of the time +was spent feverishly muttering one's lines to oneself and imploring +other people not to muddle one. The show was held in a draughty tent, +and when it was over the Padre made a short prayer and they all sang a +hymn. (Life is one continual paradox out in France.) I shall never +forget the way those Guardsmen sang either. It was perfectly splendid. +There they stood, rows of men, the best physique England could produce, +and how they sang! + +Betty drove us back to camp in the "Crystal Palace," so-called from its +many windows--a six cylinder Delauney-Belville car used to take the army +sisters to and from their billets. We narrowly missed nose-diving into a +chalk pit on the way, the so-called road being nothing but a rutty +track. + +The Fontinettes ambulance train was a special one that was usually +reported to arrive at 8 p.m., but never put in an appearance till 10, +or, on some occasions, one o'clock. The battle of the Somme was now in +progress; and, besides barges and day trains, three of these arrived +each week. The whole Convoy turned out for this; and one by one the +twenty-five odd cars would set off, keeping an equal distance apart, +forming an imposing looking column down from the camp, across the bridge +and through the town to the railway siding. The odd makes had been +weeded out and the whole lot were now Napiers. The French inhabitants +would turn out _en masse_ to see us pass, and were rather proud of us on +the whole, I think. Arrived at the big railway siding, we all formed up +into a straight line to await the train. After many false alarms, and +answering groans from the waiting F.A.N.Y.s, it would come slowly +creaking along and draw up. The ambulances were then reversed right up +to the doors, and the stretcher bearers soon filled them up with four +lying cases. At the exit stood Boss and the E.M.O., directing each +ambulance which hospital the cases were to go to. Those journeys back +were perfect nightmares. Try as one would, it was impossible not to bump +a certain amount over those appalling roads full of holes and cobbles. +It was pathetic when a voice from the interior could be heard asking, +"Is it much farther, Sister?" and knowing how far it was, my heart ached +for them. After all they had been through, one felt they should be +spared every extra bit of pain that was possible. When I in my turn was +in an ambulance, I knew just what it felt like. Sometimes the cases were +so bad we feared they would not even last the journey, and there we were +all alone, and not able to hurry to hospital owing to the other three on +board. + +The journey which in the ordinary way, when empty, took fifteen minutes, +under these circumstances lasted anything from three-quarters of an hour +to an hour. "Susan" luckily was an extremely steady 'bus, and in 3rd. +gear on a smooth road there was practically no movement at all. I +remember once on getting to the Casino I called out, "I hope you weren't +bumped too much in there?" and was very cheered when a voice replied, +"It was splendid, Sister, you should have seen us up the line, jolting +all over the place." "Sister," another one called, "will you drive us +when we leave for Blighty?" I said it was a matter of chance, but +whoever did so would be just as careful. "No," said the voice decidedly, +"there couldn't be two like you." (I think he must have been in an Irish +Regiment.) + +The relief after the strain of this journey was tremendous; and the joy +of dashing back through the evening air made one feel as if weights had +been taken off and one were flying. It was rather a temptation to test +the speed of one's 'bus against another on these occasions; and "Susan" +seemed positively to take a human interest in the impromptu race, all +the more so as it was forbidden. The return journey was by a different +route from that taken by the laden ambulances so that there was no +danger of a collision. + +We usually had about three journeys with wounded; twelve stretcher cases +in all, so that, say the train came in at nine and giving an hour to +each journey there and back, it meant (not counting loading and +unloading) roughly 1 o'clock a.m. or later before we had finished. Then +there were usually the sitting cases to be taken off and the stretcher +bearers to be driven back to their camp. Half of one head light only was +allowed to be shown; and the impression I always had when I came in was +that my eyes had popped right out of my head and were on bits of +elastic. A most extraordinary sensation, due to the terrible strain of +trying to see in the darkness just a little further than one really +could. It was the irony of fate to learn, when we did come in, that an +early evacuation had been telephoned through for 5 a.m. I often spent +the whole night dreaming I was driving wounded and had given them the +most awful bump. The horror of it woke me up, only to find that my bed +had slipped off one of the petrol boxes and was see-sawing in mid-air! + + +THE RED CROSS CARS + + "They are bringing them back who went forth so bravely. + Grey, ghostlike cars down the long white road + Come gliding, each with its cross of scarlet + On canvas hood, and its heavy load + Of human sheaves from the crimson harvest + That greed and falsehood and hatred sowed. + + "Maimed and blinded and torn and shattered, + Yet with hardly a groan or a cry + From lips as white as the linen bandage; + Though a stifled prayer 'God let me die,' + Is wrung, maybe, from a soul in torment + As the car with the blood-red cross goes by. + + "Oh, Red Cross car! What a world of anguish + On noiseless wheels you bear night and day. + Each one that comes from the field of slaughter + Is a moving Calvary, painted grey. + And over the water, at home in England + 'Let's play at soldiers,' the children say." + + Anon. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +CONVOY LIFE + + +The Prince of Wales was with the Grenadiers at Beau Marais when they +came in to rest for a time. One day, while having tea at the Sauvage, +Mademoiselle Léonie, sister of the proprietor, came up to me in a +perfect flutter of excitement to say that that very evening the Prince +had ordered the large room to be prepared for a dinner he was giving to +his brother officers. + +I was rather a favourite of hers, and she assured me if I wished to +watch him arriving it would give her great pleasure to hide me in her +paying-desk place where I could see everything clearly. She was quite +hurt when I refused the invitation. + +He was tremendously popular with the French people; and the next time I +saw her she rushed up to me and said: "How your Prince is beautiful, +Mees; what spirit, what fire! Believe me, they broke every glass they +used at that dinner, and then the Prince demanded of me the bill and +paid for everything." (Some lad!) "He also wrote his name in my +autograph book," she added proudly. "Oh he is _chic_, that one there, I +tell you!" + +One warm summer day Gutsie and I were sitting on a grassy knoll, just +beyond our camp overlooking the sea (well within earshot of the +summoning whistle), watching a specially large merchant ship come in. +Except for the distant booming of the guns (that had now become such a +background to existence we never noticed it till it stopped), an +atmosphere of peace and drowsiness reigned over everything. The ship was +just nearing the jetty preparatory to entering the harbour when a dull +reverberating roar broke the summer stillness, the banks we were on +fairly shook, and there before our eyes, out of the sea, rose a dense +black cloud of smoke 50 feet high that totally obscured the ship from +sight for a moment. When the black fumes sank down, there, where a whole +vessel had been a moment before, was only half a ship! We rubbed our +eyes incredulously. It had all happened so suddenly it might have taken +place on a Cinema. She had, of course, struck a German mine, and quick +as lightning two long, lithe, grey bodies (French destroyers) shot out +from the port and took off what survivors were left. Contrary to +expectation she did not sink, but settled down, and remained afloat till +she was towed in later in the day. + +A "Y.M.C.A." article on "Women's work in France," that appeared in a +Magazine at home, was sent out to one of the girls. The paragraph +relating to us ran:-- + +"Then there are the 'F.A.N.N.I.E.S.,' the dear mud-besplashing +F.A.N.Y.s. (to judge from the language of the sometime bespattered, the +adjective was not always 'dear'), with them cheeriness is almost a cult; +at 6 a.m. in the morning you may always be sure of a smile, even when +their sleep for the week has only averaged five hours per night." + +There were not many parties at Filbert during that summer. Off-time was +such an uncertain quantity. We managed to put in several though, +likewise some gallops on the glorious sands stretching for miles along +the coast. (It was hardly safe to call at the Convoy on your favourite +charger. When you came out from tea it was more than probable you found +him in a most unaccountable lather!) Bathing during the daytime was also +a rare event, so we went down in an ambulance after dark, macks covering +our bathing dresses, and scampered over the sands in the moonlight to +the warm waves shining and glistening with phosphorus. + +Zeppelin raids seemed to go out of fashion, but Gothas replaced them +with pretty considerable success. As we had a French Archie battery near +us it was no uncommon thing, when a raid was in progress, for our +souvenirs and plates, etc., to rattle off the walls and bomb us (more or +less gently) awake! + +There was a stretch of asphalt just at the bottom of our camp that had +been begun by an enterprising burgher as a tennis club before the war, +though others _did_ say it was really intended as a secret German gun +emplacement. It did not matter much to us for which purpose it had been +made, for, as it was near, we could play tennis and still be within +call. There was just room for two courts, and many a good game we +enjoyed there, especially after an early evacuation, in the long empty +pause till "brekker" at eight o'clock. + +"Wuzzy," or to give him his proper name, "Gerald," came into existence +about this time. He arrived from Peuplinghe a fat fluffy puppy covered +with silky grey curls. He was of nondescript breed, with a distinct +leaning towards an old English sheep dog. He had enormous fawn-coloured +silky paws, and was so soft and floppy he seemed as if he had hardly a +bone in his body. We used to pick him up and drop him gently in the +grass to watch him go out flat like a tortoise. He belonged to Lean, and +grew up a rather irresponsible creature with long legs and a lovable +disposition. He adored coming down to the ambulance trains or sitting +importantly on a car, jeering and barking at his low French friends in +the road, on the "I'm the king of the castle" principle. Another of his +favourite tricks was to rush after a car (usually selecting Lean's), and +keep with it the whole time, never swerving to another, which was rather +clever considering they were so much alike. On the way back to Camp he +had a special game he played on the French children playing in the +_Petit Courgain_. He would rush up as if he were going to fly at them. +They would scream and fall over in terror while he positively laughed at +them over his shoulder as he cantered off to try it on somewhere else. +The camp was divided in its opinion of Wuzzy, or rather I should say +quartered--viz.--one quarter saw his points and the other three-quarters +decidedly did not! + +A priceless article appeared in one of the leading dailies entitled, +"Women Motor Drivers.--Is it a suitable occupation?" and was cut out by +anxious parents and forwarded with speed to the Convoy. + +The headlines ran: "The lure of the Wheel." "Is it necessary?" "The +after effects." We lapped it up with joy. Phrases such as "Women's +outlook on life will be distorted by the adoption of such a profession, +her finer instincts crushed," pleased us specially. It continued "All +the delicate things that mean, must mean, life to the feminine mind, +will lose their significance"--(cries of "What about the frillies you +bought in Paris, Pat?") "The uncongenial atmosphere"--I continued, +reading further--"of the garage, yard, and workshops, the alien +companionship of mechanics and chauffeurs will isolate her mental +standing" (shrieks of joy), "the ceaseless days and dull monotony of +labour will not only rob her of much feminine charm but will instil into +her mind bitterness that will eat from her heart all capacity for joy, +steal away her youth, and deprive her of the colour and sunlight of +life" (loud sobs from the listening F.A.N.Y.s, who still, strangely +enough, seemed to be suffering from no loss of _joie de vivre_!) When +the noise had subsided I continued: "There is of course the possibility +that she will become conscious of her condition and change of mind, and +realize her level in time to counteract the ultimate effects(!). The +realization however may come too late. The aptitude for happiness will +have gone by for the transitory joys of driving, the questionable +intricacies of the magneto--" but further details were suspended owing +to small bales of cotton waste hurtling through the air, and in self +defence I had to leave the "intricacies of the magneto" and pursue the +offenders round the camp! The only reply Boss could get as a reason for +the tumult was that the F.A.N.Y.s were endeavouring to "realize the +level of their minds." "Humph," was Boss's comment, "First I've heard +that some of them even had any," and retired into her hut. + +We often had to take wounded German prisoners to No. 14 hospital, about +30 kilometres away. On these occasions we always had three armed guards +to prevent them from escaping. The prisoners looked like convicts with +their shorn heads and shoddy grey uniforms, and I always found it very +difficult to imagine these men capable of fighting at all. They seemed +pretty content with their lot and often tried to smile ingratiatingly at +the drivers. One day going along the sea road one of them poked me in +the back through the canvas against which we leant when driving and +said, "Ni--eece Englessh Mees!" I was furious and used the most forcible +German I could think of at a moment's notice. "Cheek!" I said to the +guard sitting beside me on the box, "I'd run them over the cliff for +tuppence." + +He got the wind up entirely: "Oh, Miss," he said, in an anxious voice, +"for Gawd's sake don't. Remember we're on board as well." + +The Rifle brigade came in to rest after the Guards had gone, and before +they left again for the line, gave a big race meeting on the sands. +Luckily for us there was no push on just then, and work was in +consequence very slack. A ladies' race was included in the Programme for +our benefit. It was one of the last events, and until it came off we +amused ourselves riding available mules, much to the delight of the +Tommies, who cheered and yelled and did their best to get them to "take +off!" They were hard and bony and had mouths like old sea boots, but it +was better than toiling in the deep sand. + +There were about fourteen entries for our race, several of them from +Lamarck, and we all drew for polo ponies lent from the Brigade. Their +owners were full of instructions as to the best method to get them +along. We cantered up to the starting post, and there was some delay +while Renny got her stirrups right. This was unfortunate, as our ponies +got a bit "cold." At last the flag fell, and we were off! It was +ripping; and the excitement of that race beat anything I've ever known. +As we thundered over the sands I began to experience the joys of seeing +the horses in front "coming back" to me, as our old jockey stable-boy +used to describe. Heasy came in first, MacDougal second, and Winnie and +I tied third. It was a great race entirely, and all too short by a long +way. + +One day I was detailed to drive the Matron and our section leader to a +fête of sorts for Belgian refugee orphans. On the way back, crossing the +swing bridge, we met Betty driving the sisters to their billets. I +thought Matron wanted to speak to them and luckily, as it turned out, I +slowed down. She changed her mind, however, and I was just picking up +again as we came abreast, when from behind Betty's car sprang a woman +right in front of mine (after her hat it appeared later, which the wind +had just blown across the road). The apparition was so utterly +unforeseen and unexpected that she was bowled over like a rabbit in two +shakes. I jammed on the brakes and we sprang out, and saw she was under +the car in between the wheel and the chassis. Luckily she was a small +thin woman, and as Gaspard has so eloquently expressed it on another +occasion, _platte comme une punaise_ (flat as a drawing-pin). I was +horrified, the whole thing had happened so suddenly. A crowd of French +and Belgian soldiers collected, and I rapidly directed them to lift the +front of the car up by the springs, as it seemed the only way of getting +her out without further injury. I turned away, not daring to look, and +as I did so my eye caught sight of some hair near one of the back +wheels! That finished me up! I did not stop to reason that of course the +back wheels had not touched her, and thought, "My God, I've scalped +her!" and I leant over the railings feeling exceedingly sick. A friendly +M.P. who had seen the whole thing, patted me on the arm and said, "Now, +then, Miss, don't you take on, that's only her false 'air," as indeed +it proved to be! The woman was yelling and groaning, "_Mon Dieu, je suis +tuée_," but according to the "red hat" she was as "right as rain, +nothing but 'ysteria." I blessed that M.P. and hoped we would meet +again. We helped her on to the front seat, where Thompson supported her, +while I drove to hospital to see if any damage had been done. Singularly +enough, she was only suffering from bruises and a torn skirt, and of +course the loss of her "false 'air" (which I had refused to touch, it +had given me such a turn). I can only hope her husband, who was with her +at the time, picked it up. He followed to hospital and gave her a most +frightful scolding, adding that of course the "Mees" could not do +otherwise than knock her down if she so foolishly sprang in front of +cars without warning; and she might think herself lucky that the "Mees" +would not run her in for being in the way! It has always struck me as +being so humorous that in England if you knock a pedestrian over they +can have you up, while in France the law is just the reverse. She sobbed +violently, and I had to tell him that what she wanted was sympathy and +not scolding. + +It took me a day or two to get over that scalping expedition (of course +the story was all round the camp within the hour!) and for some time +after I slowed down crossing the bridge. This was the one and only time +anything of the sort ever happened to me, thank goodness! + +Our camp began to look very smart, and the seeds we had sown in the +spring came up and covered the huts with creepers. We had as many +flowers inside our huts as we could possibly get into the shell cases +and other souvenirs which perforce were turned into flower vases--a +change they must have thought rather singular. The steady boom of the +guns used to annoy me intensely, for it shook the petals off the roses +long before they would otherwise have fallen, and I used to call out, +crossly, "_Do_ stop that row, you're simply ruining my flowers." But +that made no difference to the distant gunners, who carried on night and +day causing considerably more damage than the falling petals from my +roses! + +We began to classify the new girls as they came out, jokingly calling +them "Kitchener's" Army, "Derby's Scheme," and finally, "Conscripts." +The old "regulars" of course put on most fearful side. It was amusing +when an air-raid warning (a siren known as "mournful Mary") went at Mess +and the shrapnel began to fly, to see the new girls all rush out to +watch the little white balls bursting in the sky, and the old hands not +turning a hair but going on steadily with the bully beef or Maconochie, +whichever it happened to be. Then one by one the new ones would slink +back rather ashamed of their enthusiasm and take their seats, and in +time they in turn would smile indulgently as the still newer ones dashed +out to watch. + +We had no dug-out to go to, even if we had wanted to. Our new mess tent +was built in the summer; and we said good-bye for ever to the murky +gloom of the old Indian flapper. + +One day I had gone out to tea with Logan and Chris to an "Archie" +station at Pont le Beurre. During a pause I heard the following +conversation take place. + +Host to Logan: "I suppose, being in a Convoy Camp, you hear nothing but +motor shop the whole time, and get to know quite a lot about them?" + +"Rather," replied Logan, who between you and me hardly knew one end of a +car from the other, "I'm becoming quite conversant with the different +parts. One hears people exclaiming constantly: 'I've mislaid my big end +and can't think where I've put the carburettor!'" The host, who appeared +to know as much as she did, nodded sympathetically. + +Chris and I happened to catch the Captain's eye, and we laughed for +about five minutes. That big-end story went the round of the camp too, +you may be quite sure. + +Besides the regular work of barges, evacuation, and trains we had to do +all the ambulance work for the outlying camps, and cars were regularly +detailed for special _dépôts_ the whole day long. Barges arrived mostly +in the mornings, and I think the patients in them were more surprised +than anyone to see girls driving out there, and were often not a little +fearful as to how we would cope! It was comforting to overhear them say +to each other on the journey: "This is fine, mate, ain't it?" + +When we drove the cases to the hospital ships the long quay along which +we took them barely allowed two cars to pass abreast. Turning when the +car was empty was therefore a ticklish business, and there was only one +place where it could be done. If you made a slip, there was nothing +between you and the sea 50 feet below. There was a dip in the platform +at one point, and by backing carefully on to this, it was just possible +to turn, but to do so necessitated running forward in the direction of +the quay, where there was barely the space of a foot left between the +front wheel and the edge. I know, sitting in the car, I never could see +any edge at all. If by any chance you misjudged this dip and backed +against the edge of the platform by mistake the car, unable to mount it, +rebounded and slid forward! It was always rather a breathless +performance at first; and beginners, rather than risk it, backed the +whole length of the quay. I did so myself the first time, but it was +such a necktwisting performance I felt I'd rather risk a ducking. With +practice we were able to judge to a fraction just how near the edge we +could risk going, and the men on the hospital ships would hold their +breath at the (I hope pardonable) swank of some of the more daring +spirits who went just as near as they could and then looked up and +laughed as they drove down the quay. After I was in hospital in England, +I heard that a new hand lost her head completely, and in Eva's newly +painted 'bus executed a spinning nose-dive right over the quay. A sight +I wouldn't have missed for worlds. As she "touched water," however, the +F.A.N.Y. spirit predominated. She was washed through the back of the +ambulance (luckily the front canvas was up), and as it sank she +gallantly kicked off from the roof of the fast disappearing car. She was +an excellent swimmer, but two R.A.M.C. men sprang overboard to her +rescue, and I believe almost succeeded in drowning her in their efforts! +This serves to show what an extremely touchy job it was, and one we had +to perform in fogs or the early hours of a winter's morning when it was +almost too dark to see anything. Some Red Cross men drivers from Havre +watched us once, and declared their quay down there was wider by several +feet, but no one ever turned on it. It seemed odd at home to see two +girls on army ambulances. We went distances of sixty miles or more +alone, only taking an orderly when the cases were of a very serious +nature and likely to require attention _en route_. + +Once I remember I was returning from taking a new medical officer (a +cheerful individual, whose only remark during the whole of that +fifteen-mile run was, "I'm perished!") to an outlying camp. I wondered +at first if that was his name and he was introducing himself, but one +glance was sufficient to prove otherwise! On the way back alone, I +paused to ask the way, as I had to return by another route. The man I +had stopped (whom at first I had taken to be a Frenchman) was a German +prisoner, so I started on again; but wherever I looked there were +nothing but Germans, busily working at these quarries. No guards were +in sight, as far as I could see, and I wondered idly if they would take +it into their heads to hold up the car, brain me, and escape. It was +only a momentary idea though, for looking at these men, they seemed to +be quite incapable of thinking of anything so original. + +Coming back from B. one day I started a huge hare, and with the utmost +difficulty prevented the good Susan from turning off the road, lepping +the ditch, and pursuing 'puss' across the flat pastures. Some sporting +'bus, I tell you! + +The Tanks made their first appearance in September, and weird and +wonderful were the descriptions given by the different men I asked whom +I carried on my ambulance. They appeared to be anything in size from a +hippopotamus to Buckingham Palace. It was one of the best kept secrets +of the war. When anyone asked what was being made in the large foundries +employed they received the non-committal reply "Tanks," and so the name +stuck. + +My last leave came off in the autumn, and while I was at home Lamarck +Hospital closed on its second anniversary--October 31, 1916. The +Belgians now had a big hut hospital at the Porte de Gravelines, and +wished to concentrate what sick and wounded they had there, instead of +having so many small hospitals. A great celebration took place, and +there was much bouquet handing and speechifying, etc. + +Our work for the Belgians did not cease with the closing of Lamarck, and +a convoy was formed with the Gare Centrale as its headquarters, and so +released the men drivers for the line. The hospital staff and equipment +moved to Epernay, where a hospital was opened for the French in an old +Monastery and also a convoy of F.A.N.Y. ambulances and cars was +attached, so that now we had units working for the British, French, and +Belgians. Another unit was the one down at Camp de Ruchard, where +Crockett so ably ran a canteen for 700 convalescent Belgian soldiers, +while Lady Baird, with a trained nurse, looked after the consumptives, +of whom there were several hundreds. It will thus be seen that the +F.A.N.Y. was essentially an "active service" Corps with no units in +England at all. + +I had a splendid leave, which passed all too quickly, and oddly enough +before I left home I had a sort of premonition that something was going +to happen; so much so that I even left an envelope with instructions of +what I wanted done with such worldly goods as I possessed. I felt that +in making such arrangements I might possibly avert any impending +catastrophe! + +Heasy was on leave as well, and the day we were due to go back was a +Sunday. The train was to leave Charing Cross at four, which meant that +we would not embark till seven or thereabouts. It was wet and blustery, +and I did not relish the idea of crossing in the dark at all, and could +not help laughing at myself for being so funky. I had somehow quite made +up my mind we were going to be torpedoed. The people I was staying with +ragged me hard about it. It was the 5th of November, too! As I stepped +out of the taxi at Charing Cross and handed my kit to the porter, he +asked: "Boat train, Miss?" I nodded. "Been cancelled owin' to storm," he +said cheerfully. I leapt out, and I think I shook him by the hand in my +joy. France is all right when you get there; but the day you return is +like going back to school. The next minute I saw Heasy's beaming face, +and we were all over each other at the prospect of an extra day. My old +godfather, who had come to see me off, was the funniest of all--a +peppery Indian edition. "Not going?" he exclaimed, "I never heard of +such a thing! In my day there was not all this chopping and changing." I +pointed out that he might at least express his joy that I was to be at +home another day, and fuming and spluttering we returned to the D's. +It's rather an anti-climax, after saying good-bye and receiving +everyone's blessing, to turn up suddenly once more! + +Heasy and I duly met at Charing Cross next morning, to hear that once +more the leave boat had been cancelled owing to loosened mines floating +about. Again I returned to my friends who by this time seemed to think I +had "come to stay." On the Wednesday (we were now getting to know all +the porters quite well by sight) we really did get off; but when we +arrived at Folkestone it was to find the platform crammed with returning +leave-men and officers, and to hear the same tale--the boat had _again_ +been cancelled. None of the officers were being allowed to return to +town, but by dint of good luck and a little palm oil, we dashed into a +cab and reached the other station just in time to catch the up-going +train. "We stay at an hotel to-night," I said to Heasy, "I positively +won't turn up at the D's _again_." We got to town in time for lunch, and +then went to see the _Happy Day_, at Daly's (very well named we +thought), where Heasy's brother was entertaining a party. He had seen us +off, "positively for the last time," at 7.30 that morning. We saw him in +the distance, and in the interval we instructed the programme girl to +take round a slip of paper on which we printed:--"If you will come round +to Stalls 21 and 22 you will hear of something to your advantage." +George Heasman came round utterly mystified, and when he saw us once +more, words quite failed him! + +On the Thursday down we went again, and this time we actually _did_ get +on board, though they kept us hanging about on the Folkestone platform +for hours before they decided, and the rain dripped down our necks from +that inadequate wooden roofing that had obviously been put up by some +war profiteer on the cheap. The congestion was something frightful, and +there were twelve hundred on board instead of the usual seven or eight. +"We can't blow _over_ at any rate," I said cheerfully to Heasy, in a +momentary lull in the gale. There were so many people on board that +there was just standing room and that was all. We hastily swallowed some +more Mother-sill and hoped for the best (we had consumed almost a whole +boxful owing to our many false starts). We were in the highest spirits. +The only other woman on board was an army sister, who came and stood +near us. Lifebelts were ordered to be put on, and as I tied Heasy's the +aforementioned Sister turned to me and said: "You ought to tie that +tighter; it will come undone very easily in the waves!" Heasy and I were +convulsed, and so were all the people within earshot. "You mustn't be so +cheerful," I said, as soon as I could speak. + +It was the roughest crossing I've ever experienced, and there was no +time to indulge in "that periscope feeling," so aptly described by +Bairnsfather; we were too busy exercising Christian Science on our +"innards" and trying not to think of all the indigestible things we'd +eaten the night before! We rose on mountains of waves one moment and +then descended into positive valleys the next. I swear I would have been +perfectly all right if I had not heard an officer say "I hope it will +not be too rough to get into Boulogne harbour. The last time I crossed +we had to return to Folkestone!" * * * * Luckily his fears were +incorrect, and at last we arrived in the harbour, and I never was so +glad to see France in all my life! The F.A.N.Y.s had almost given us up +for good, and were all very envious when they heard of our adventures. + +Towards the end of that month the "Britannic," a hospital ship, was +torpedoed. As a preventive measure against future outrages of the kind +(not that it would have made the Germans hesitate for a moment) twenty +prisoners were detailed to accompany each hospital ship on the voyage to +England. These men, under one of their own Sergeant-Majors, sat on the +edge of the platform until all the wounded were on board, and then were +marched on into a little wooden shelter specially erected. As they sat +on the edge, their feet rested on the narrow quay along which we drove, +and I loved to go as near as possible and pretend I was going over them, +just for the fun of watching the Boches roll on their backs in terror +with their feet high in the air. A new method of saying _Kamerad_! Those +prisoners did not care for me very much, I don't think, and I always +hope I shan't meet any of them _après la guerre_. Unfortunately this +pastime was stopped by the vigilant E.M.O. + +My hut was closed for "winter decorations," and the crême de menthe +coloured panthers were covered up by a hunting frieze. It was a +priceless show, one of the field appearing in a _chic_ pair of red +gloves! I suppose they had some extra paint over from the pink coats. +Scene I. was the meet, with the fox lurking well within sight behind a +small gorse bush, but funnily enough not a hound got wind of him. Scene +III. was a good water-jump where one of the field had taken a toss right +into the middle of a stream. Considering the sandy spot he had chosen as +a take-off, he had no one to thank but himself. A lady further up on a +grey, obviously suffering from spavin, was sailing over like a two-year +old. The last scene was of course a kill, the gentleman in the pink +gloves on the black horse being well to the fore. Altogether it was most +pleasing. Silk hunting "hankies" in yellow and other vivid colours, +ditto with full field, took the place of the now chilly looking +Reckitt's blue, and a Turkey rug on the floor completed the +transformation. + +When an early evacuation was not in progress, breakfast was at eight +o'clock, and at 10 minutes to, the whistles went for parade, which was +held in the square just in front of the cars. Those who were late were +put on fatigues without more ado, but in the ordinary way if there were +no delinquents we took it in turns, two every day. + +Often when that first whistle went, it found a good many of us still +"complete in flea-bag," and that scramble to get into things and appear +"fully dressed" was an art in itself. An overcoat, muffler, and a pair +of field boots went a long way to complete this illusion. Once however, +Boss, to everyone's pained surprise, said, "Will the troopers kindly +take off their overcoats!" With great reluctance this was done amid +shouts of laughter as three of us stood divested of coats in gaudy +pyjamas. + +Fatigue consisted of two things: One--"Tidying up the Camp," which was a +comprehensive term and meant folding up everyone's bonnet covers and +putting them in neat piles near the mess hut, collecting cotton waste +and grease tins, etc., and weeding the garden (a rotten job). The second +was called "Doing the stoke-hole," i.e. cleaning out the ashes from the +huge boiler that heated the bath water, chopping sticks, laying the +fire, and brushing the "hole" up generally. + +Opinions were divided as to the merits of those two jobs. Neither was +popular of course, but we could choose. The latter certainly had its +points, because once done it was done for the day, while the former +might be tidy at nine, and yet by 10 o'clock lumps of cotton waste might +be blowing all over the place, tins and bonnet covers once more in +untidy heaps. I often "did the boiler," but I simply hated chopping the +sticks. One day the axe was firmly fixed in a piece of hard wood and I +was vainly hitting it against the block, with eyes tight shut, when I +heard a chuckle from the top of the steps. I looked up and there was a +Tommy looking down into the hole, watching the proceedings. Where he'd +come from I don't know. "Call those 'ands?" he asked. "'Ere, give it to +me"--indicating the axe. "I guess y'aint chopped many sticks, 'ave yer?" +"No," I said; "and I'm terrified of the thing!" I sat on the steps and +watched him deftly slicing the wood into thin slips. "This is a +fatigue," I said, by way of an explanation. That tickled him! He stopped +and chuckled, "You do fatigues just the same as we do?" he asked. "I +never heard anything to beat that. Well I never, wot's the crime, I +wonder? Look 'ere," he added, "I'll chop you enough to last fatigues for +a month, and you put 'em somewhere in the meantime," and in ten +minutes, mark you, there was a pile that rejoiced my heart. He was a +"Bird," that man, and no mistake. + +After brekker was over the first thing that had to be done before +anything else was to get one's 'bus running and in order for the day. +Once that was done we could do our huts, provided no jobs had come in; +and when that was done the engine had to be thoroughly cleaned, and then +the car. I might add that this is an ideal account of the proceedings +for, as often as not, we went out the minute the cars were started. +Three days elapsed sometimes before the hut could have a "turn out." On +these occasions one just rolled into one's bed at night unmade and +unturned, too tired to care one way or the other. + +Some of the girls got a Frenchwoman, "Alice" by name, to do their "cues" +for them. She used to bring her small baby with her and dump him down +anywhere in the corridor, sometimes in a waste paper basket, till she +was done. One morning he howled bitterly for about an hour, and at last +I went out to see what could be the matter. "Oh, Mees, it is that he has +burnt himself against the stove, the careless one" (he couldn't walk, so +it must have been her own fault). "I took him to a _Pharmacie_ but he +has done nothing but cry ever since." + +Now I had fixed up a small _Pharmacie_ in one of the empty "cues," +complete with sterilised dressings and rows of bottles, and bandaged up +whatever cuts and hurts there were, in fact my only sorrow was there +were not more "cases." Considering the many men we had had at Lamarck +burnt practically all over from fire-bombs, I suggested that she should +bring the baby into the _Pharmacie_ and see if I could do anything for +it. She was quite willing, and carried it in, when I undid the little +arm (only about six inches long) burnt from the elbow to the wrist! The +chemist had simply planked on some zinc ointment and lint. I got some +warm boracic and soaked it off gently, though the little thing redoubled +its yells, and a small crowd of F.A.N.Y.s dashed down the passage to see +what was up. "It's only Pat killing a baby" was one of the cheerful +explanations I heard. So encouraging for me. I dressed it with Carron +oil and to my relief the wails ceased. She brought it every morning +after that, and I referred proudly to my "out-patient" who made great +progress. Within ten days the arm had healed up, and Alice was my +devoted follower from that time on. + +We had a lot of work that autumn, and barges came down regularly as +clockwork. Many of these cases were taken to the Duchess of Sutherland's +Hospital. She had given up the Bourbourg Belgian one some time before +and now had one for the British, where the famous Carroll-Dakin +treatment was given. One night, taking some cases to the Casino +hospital, there was a boy on board with his eyes bandaged. He had +evidently endeared himself to the Sister on the train, for she came +along with the stretcher bearers and saw him safely into my car. +"Good-bye, Sister," I heard him say, in a cheery voice, "thank you a +thousand times for your kindness--you wait till my old eyes are better +and I'll come back and see you. I know you must look nice," he +continued, with a laugh, "you've got such a kind voice." + +Tears were in her eyes as she came round to speak to me and whisper that +it was a hopeless case; he had been so severely injured he would never +see again. + +I raged inwardly against the powers that cared not a jot who suffered so +long as their own selfish ends were achieved. + +That journey was one of the worst I've ever done. If the boy had not +been so cheerful it would have been easier, but there he lay chatting +breezily to me through the canvas, wanting to know all about our work +and asking hundreds of questions. "You wait till I get home," he said, +"I'll have the best eye chap there is, you bet your life. By Jove, it +will be splendid to get these bandages off, and see again." + +Was the war worth even one boy's eyesight? No, I thought not. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +CHRISTMAS, 1916 + + +Taking some wounded Germans to No. 14 hospital one afternoon we were +stopped on the way by a road patrol, a new invention to prevent +joy-riding. Two Tommies rushed out from the hedges, like highwaymen of +old, waving little red flags (one of the lighter efforts of the War +Office). Perforce we had to draw up while one of them went into the +_Estaminet_ (I noticed they always chose their quarters well) to bring +out the officer. His job was to examine papers and passes, and sort the +sheep from the goats, allowing the former to proceed and turning the +latter away! + +The man in question was evidently new to the work and was exceedingly +fussy and officious. He scanned my pink pass for some time and then +asked, "Where are you going?" "Wimereux," I replied promptly. He looked +at the pass again--"It's got "_W_imer_oo_," here, and not what _you_ +said," he answered suspiciously. "Some people pronounce it 'Vimerer,' +nevertheless," I could not refrain from replying, rather tartly. + +Again he turned to the pass, and as it started to snow in stinging +gusts (and I was so obviously one of the "sheep"), I began to chafe at +the delay. + +As if anyone would joy-ride in such weather without a wind screen, I +thought disgustedly. (None of the cars had them.) + +"Whom have you got in behind?" was the next query. + +I leant forward as if imparting a secret of great importance, and said, +in a stage whisper: "Germans!" + +He jumped visibly, and the two flag-wagging Tommies grinned delightedly. +After going to the back to find out if this was so, he at last very +reluctantly returned my pass. + +"Thinks we're all bloomin' spies," said one of the guards, as at last we +set off to face the blinding snow, that literally was blinding, it was +so hard to see. The only method was to shut first one eye and then the +other, so that they could rest in turns! + +On the way back we passed a motor hearse stuck on the Wimereux hill with +four coffins in behind, stretcher-wise. + +The guard gave a grunt. "Humph," said he, "They makes yer form fours +right up to the ruddy grave, they do!" + +We were not so far from civilization in our Convoy as one might have +supposed, for among the men in the M.T. yard was a hairdresser from the +Savoy Hotel! + +He made a diffident call on Boss one day and said it would give him +great pleasure to shampoo and do up the "young ladies' hair" for them in +his spare time "to keep his hand in." He was afraid if the war lasted +much longer he might forget the gentle art! + +We rose to the occasion and were only too delighted, and from then +onwards he became a regular institution up at the Convoy. + +News was brought to us of the torpedoing of the "Sussex," and the +terrible suffering the crew and passengers endured. It was thought after +she was struck she would surely sink, and many deaths by drowning +occurred owing to overcrowding the lifeboats. Like the "Zulu," however, +when day dawned it was found she was able to come into Boulogne under +her own steam. After driving some cases over there, I went to see the +remains in dry dock. It was a ghastly sight, made all the more poignant +as one could see trunks and clothes lying about in many of the cabins, +which were open to the day as if a transverse section had been made. The +only humorous incident that occurred was that King Albert was arrested +while taking a photo of it! I don't think for a moment they recognized +who he was, for, with glasses, and a slight stoop, he does not look +exactly like the photos one sees, and they probably imagined he was +bluffing. He was marched off looking intensely amused! One of the French +guards, when I expressed my disappointment at not being able to get a +photo, gave me the address of a friend of his who had taken some +official ones for France, so I hurried off, and was lucky to get them. + +The weather became atrocious as the winter advanced and our none too +water-tight huts showed distinct signs of warping. We only had one +thickness of matchboarding in between us and the elements, and, without +looking out of the windows, I could generally ascertain through the +slits what was going on in the way of weather. I had chosen my "cue" +looking sea-ward because of the view and the sunsets, but then that was +in far away Spring. Eva's was next door, and even more exposed than +mine. When we happened to mention this state of affairs to Colonel C., +he promised us some asbestos to line the outer wall if we could find +someone to put it up. + +Another obliging friend lent us his carpenter to do the job--a burly +Scot. The fact that we cleaned our own cars and went about the camp in +riding breeches and overalls, not unlike land-girls' kit, left him +almost speechless. + +The first day all he could say was, "Weel, weel, I never did"--at +intervals. + +The second day he had recovered himself sufficiently to look round and +take a little notice. + +"Ye're one o' them artists, I'm thinkin'," he said, eyeing my panthers +disparagingly. (The hunting frieze had been taken down temporarily till +the asbestos was fixed.) + +"No, you mustn't think that," I said apologetically. + +"Ha ye no men to do yon dirty worrk for ye?" and he nodded in direction +of the cars. "Scandalizing, and no less," was his comment when he heard +there were not. In two days' time he reported to his C.O. that the job +was finished, and the latter overheard him saying to a pal, "Aye mon, +but A've had ma outlook on life broadened these last two days." B. +'phoned up hastily to the Convoy to know what exactly we had done with +his carpenter. + +Work was slack in the Autumn owing to the fearful floods of rain, and +several of the F.A.N.Y.s took up fencing and went once a week at eight +o'clock to a big "Salle d'Escrime" off the Rue Royale. A famous Belgian +fencer, I forget his name, and a Frenchman, both stationed in the +vicinity, instructed, and "Squig" kindly let me take her lessons when +she was on leave. Fencing is one of the best tests I know for teaching +you to keep your temper. When my foil had been hit up into the air about +three times in succession to the triumphant _Riposte!_ of the little +Frenchman, I would determine to keep "Quite cool." In spite of all, +however, when I lunged forward it was with rather a savage stamp, which +he would copy delightedly and exclaim triumphantly--"Mademoiselle se +fâche!" I could have killed that Frenchman cheerfully! His quick orders +"_Paré, paré--quatre, paré--contre--Riposté!_" etc. left me +completely bewildered at first. Hope was a great nut with the foils and +she and the Frenchman had veritable battles, during which the little +man, on his mettle and very excited, would squeal exactly like a +rabbit. The big Belgian was more phlegmatic and not so easily moved. + +One night I espied a pair of boxing gloves and pulled them on while +waiting for my turn. "Mademoiselle knows _la boxe_?" he asked +interestedly. + +"A little, a very little, Monsieur," I replied. "Only what my brother +showed me long ago." + +"Montrez," said he, drawing on a pair as well, and much to the amusement +of the others we began preliminary sparring. "Mademoiselle knows +_ze-k_-nock-oot?" he hazarded. + +I did not reply, for at that moment he lifted his left arm, leaving his +heart exposed. Quick as lightning I got in a topper that completely +winded him and sent him reeling against the wall. When he got his breath +back he laughed till the tears rolled down his cheeks, and whenever I +met him in the street he flew up a side alley in mock terror. I was +always designated after that as _Mademoiselle qui sait la boxe--oh, la +la_! + +In spite of repeated efforts on the part of R.E.s. there was a spot in +the roof through which the rain persistently dripped on to my face in +the night. They never could find it, so the only solution was to sleep +the other way up! _C'est la guerre_, and that's all there was to it. + +One cold blustery day I had left "Susan" at the works in Boulogne and +was walking along by the fish market when I saw a young fair-haired +staff officer coming along the pavement toward me. "His face is very +familiar," I thought to myself, and then, quick as a flash--"Why, it's +the Prince of Wales, of course!" He seemed to be quite alone, and except +for ourselves the street was deserted. How to cope? To bob or not to +bob, that was the question? Then I suddenly realized that in a stiff +pair of Cording's boots and a man's sheepskin-lined mackintosh, sticking +out to goodness knows where, it would be a sheer impossibility. I +hastily reviewed the situation. If I salute, I thought, he may think I'm +taking a liberty! I decided miserably to do neither and hoped he would +think I had not recognized him at all.[13] As we came abreast I looked +straight ahead, getting rather pink the while. Once past and calling +myself all manner of fools, I thought "I'm going to turn round, and +stare. One doesn't meet a Prince every day, and in any case 'a cat may +look at a king!'" I did so--the Prince was turning round too! He smiled +delightfully, giving me a wonderful salute, which I returned and went on +my way joyfully, feeling that it had been left to him to save the +situation, and very proud to think I had had a salute all to myself. + +Christmas came round before we knew where we were, and Boss gave the +order it was to be celebrated in our own mess. Work was slack just then +and Mrs. Williams gave a tea and dance in the afternoon at her canteen +up at Fontinettes. It was a picturesque-looking place with red brick +floor, artistic-looking tables with rough logs for legs and a large open +fireplace, typically English, which must have rejoiced the hearts of men +so far from Blighty. + +It was a very jolly show, in spite of my partner bumping his head +against the beam every time we went round, and people came from far and +near. It was over about five, and we hastened back to prepare for our +Christmas dinner in Mess. + +Fancy dress had been decided on, and as it was to be only among +ourselves we were given carte blanche as to ideas. They were of course +all kept secret until the last moment. Baby went as a Magpie and looked +very striking, the black and white effect being obtained by draping a +white towel straight down one side over the black nether garments +belonging to our concert party kit. + +I decided to go as a _Vie Parisienne_ cover. A study in black and +daffodil--a ravishing confection--and also used part of our "FANTASTIK" +kit, but made the bodice out of crinkly yellow paper. A chrysanthemum of +the same shade in my hair, which was skinned back in the latest +door-knob fashion, completed the get-up. + +Baby and I met on our way across the camp and drifted into mess +together, and as we slowly divested ourselves of our grey wolf-coats we +were hailed with yells of delight. + +Dicky went as Charlie's Aunt, and Winnie as the irresistible nephew. Eva +was an art student from the Quartier Latin, and Bridget a charming +two-year old. The others came in many and various disguises. + +We all helped to clear away in order to dance afterwards, and as I ran +into the cook-house with some plates I met the mechanic laden with the +tray from his hut. + +The momentary glimpse of the _Vie Parisienne_ was almost too much for +the good Brown. I heard a startled "Gor blimee! Miss" and saw his eyes +popping out of his head as he just prevented the tray from eluding his +grasp! + +Soon after Christmas a grain-ship, while entering Boulogne harbour in a +storm, got blown across and firmly fixed between the two jetties, which +are not very wide apart. To make matters worse its back broke and so +formed an effectual barrier to the harbour and took from a fortnight to +three weeks to clear away. + +Traffic was diverted to the other ports, and for the time being Boulogne +became almost like a city of the dead. + +One port had been used solely for hospital ships up till then, and the +scenes of bustle and confusion that replaced the comparative calm were +almost indescribable. We saw many friends returning from Christmas +leave, who for the most part had not the faintest idea where they had +arrived. There were not enough military cars to transport the men to +Fontinettes, so besides our barge and hospital work we were temporarily +commissioned by the Local Transport Office. + +I was detailed to take two officers inspecting the Archic stations north +of St. Omer one wet snowy afternoon, and many were the adventures we +had. It was a great thing to get up right behind our lines to places +where we had never been before, and Susan ploughed through the mud like +a two-year old, and never even so much as punctured. We were on our way +back at a little place called Pont l'Abbesse, about 6.30, when the snow +came down in blinding gusts. With only two side lamps, and a pitch dark +night, the prospect of ever finding our way home seemed nil, and every +road we took was bordered by a deep canal, with nothing in the way of a +fence as protection. It was bitterly cold, and once we got completely +lost; three-quarters of an hour later finding ourselves at the same +cottage where we had previously asked the way! + +At last we found a staff car that promised to give us a lead, and in +time we reached the main St. Omer road, finally getting back to +Pont-le-Beurre about 10 p.m. I 'phoned up to the Convoy to tell them I +was still in the land of the living, and after a bowl of hot soup sped +back to camp. + +My hands were so cold I had to sit on them in turns, and as for feet, I +didn't seem to have any. Still it was "some run," and the next day I +spent a long time hosing off the thick clay which almost completely hid +the good Susan from sight. + +Another temporary job we had was to drive an army sister (a sort of +female Military Landing Officer) to the boat every day, where she met +the sisters coming back from leave and directed them to the different +units and hospitals. + +One of the results of the closing of Boulogne harbour was that instead +of the patients being evacuated straight to England we had to drive +them into Boulogne, where they were entrained for Havre! A terrible +journey, poor things. Twenty to twenty-four ambulances would set off to +do the thirty kilometres in convoy, led at a steady pace by the Section +Leader. These journeys took place three times a week, and often the men +would get bitterly cold inside the cars. If there was one puncture in +the Convoy we all had to stop till a spare wheel was put on. We eagerly +took the opportunity to get down and do stamping exercises and "cabby" +arms to try and get warm. To my utmost surprise, on one of these +occasions my four stretcher patients got up and danced in the road with +me. Why they were "liers" instead of "sitters" I can't think, as there +was not much wrong with them. _À propos_ I remember asking one night +when an ambulance train came in in the dark, "Are you liers or sitters +in here?" and one humorist scratched his head and replied, "I don't +rightly know, Sister, I've told a few in my time!" To return to our long +convoy journeys: once we had deposited our patients it was not +unnaturally the desire of this "dismounted cavalry" unit to try the +speed of its respective 'buses one against the other on the return +journey; to our immense disappointment this idea was completely nipped +in the bud, for Boss rode on the first car. + +Permission however was given to pass on hills, as it was considered a +pity to overheat a car going down to second gear when it could easily +have done the hill on third! That Boulogne road is one of the hilliest +in France, and Susan was a nailer on hills. I remember arriving in camp +second one day. "How have _you_ got here?" asked Boss in surprise, "I +purposely put you nineteenth!" + +Heasy, Betty, and I in celebration of two years' active service had +permission to give a small dance in the mess at the beginning of the new +year. We trembled lest at the last moment an ambulance train might +arrive, but there was nothing worse than an early evacuation next +morning and all went off excellently. I was entrusted to make the "cup," +and bought the ingredients in the town (some cup), and gravely assured +everyone there was absolutely "nothing in it." The boracic powder was +lifted in my absence from the _Pharmacie_ to try and get the first +glimmerings of a slide on that sticky creosoted floor. The ambulances, +fitted with paper Chinese lanterns, were temporarily converted into +sitting out places. It was a great show. + +There was one job in the Convoy we all loathed like poison; it was known +as "corpses." There was no chance of dodging unpopular jobs, for they +worked out on an absolutely fair system. For instance, the first time +the telephone bell went after 8 a.m. (anything before that was counted +night duty) it was taken by a girl whose name came first in alphabetical +order. She rushed out to her car, but before going "warned" B. that when +the bell next went it would be _her_ job, and so on throughout the day. +If you were "warned," it was an understood thing that you did not begin +any long job on the car but stayed more or less in readiness. If the +jobs got half through the alphabet by nightfall the last girl warned +knew she was first for it the next morning. + +To return to the corpses. What happened was that men were frequently +falling into the canals and docks and were not discovered till perhaps +three weeks later. An ambulance was then rung up, and the corpse, or +what remained of it, was taken to the mortuary. + +One day Bobs was called on to give evidence at a Court of Enquiry with +regard to a corpse she had driven, as there was some mystification with +regard to the day and hour at which it was found. As she stepped smartly +up to the table the Colonel asked her how, when it occurred some ten +days ago, she could be sure it was 4.30 when she arrived on the scene. + +"It was like this," said she. "When I heard it was a corpse, I thought +I'd have my tea first!" (This was almost as bad as the tape measure +episode and was of course conclusive. I might add, corpses were the only +jobs that were not allowed to interfere with meals.) + +"Foreign bodies," in the shape of former Belgian patients, often drifted +up to camp in search of the particular "Mees" who had tended them at +Lamarck, as often as not bringing souvenirs made at great pains in the +trenches as tokens of their gratitude. It touched us very much to know +that they had not forgotten. + +One night when my evening duty was nearing its close and I was just +preparing to go to my hut the telephone bell rang, and I was told to go +down to the hospital ship we had just loaded that afternoon for a man +reported to be in a dying condition, and not likely to stand the journey +across to England--I never could understand why those cases should have +been evacuated at all if there was any possibility of them becoming +suddenly worse; but I suppose a certain number of beds had to be cleared +for new arrivals, and individuals could not be considered. It seemed +very hard. + +I drove down to the Quay in the inky blackness, it was a specially dark +night, turned successfully, and reported I had come for the case. + +An orderly, I am thankful to say, came with him in the car and sat +behind holding his hand. + +The boy called incessantly for his mother and seemed hardly to realize +where he was. I sat forward, straining my eyes in the darkness along +that narrow quay, on the look-out for the many holes I knew were only +too surely there. + +The journey seemed to take hours, and I answered a query of the +orderly's as to the distance. + +The boy heard my voice and mistook me for one of the Sisters, and then +followed one of the most trying half-hours I have ever been through. + +He seemed to regain consciousness to a certain extent and asked me from +time to time, + +"Sister, am I dying?" + +"Will I see me old mother again, Sister?" + +"Why have you taken me off the Blighty ship, Sister?" + +Then there would be silence for a space, broken only by groans and an +occasional "Christ, but me back 'urts crool," and all the comfort I +could give was that we would be there soon, and the doctor would do +something to ease the pain. + +Thank God, at last we arrived at the Casino. One of the most trying +things about ambulance driving is that while you long to get the patient +to hospital as quickly as possible you are forced to drive slowly. I +jumped out and cautioned the orderlies to lift him as gently as they +could, and he clung on to my hand as I walked beside the stretcher into +the ward. + +"You're telling me the truth, Sister? I don't want to die, I tell you +that straight," he said. "Goodbye and God bless you; I'll come and see +you in the morning," I said, and left him to the nurses' tender care. I +went down early next day but he had died at 3 a.m. Somebody's son and +only nineteen. That sort of job takes the heart out of you for some +days, though Heaven knows we ought to have got used to anything by that +time. + +To make up for the wet autumn a hard frost set in early in the year. + +The M.T. provided us with anti-freezing mixture for the radiators, but +the antifreezing cheerfully froze! We tried emptying them at night, +turning off the petrol and running the engine till the carburettor was +dry (for even the petrol was not above freezing), and wrapping up the +engines as carefully as if they were babies, but even that failed. + +Starting the cars up in the morning (a detail I see I have not mentioned +so far), even in ordinary times quite a hard job, now became doubly so. + +It was no uncommon sight to see F.A.N.Y.s lying supine across the +bonnets of their cars, completely winded by their efforts. The morning +air was full of sobbing breaths and groans as they swung in vain! This +process was known as "getting her loose"--(I'm referring to the car not +the F.A.N.Y., though, from personal experience, it's quite applicable to +both.) + +Brown or Johnson (the latter had replaced Kirkby) was secured to come if +possible and give the final fillip that set the engine going. It's a +well-known thing that you may turn at a car for ten minutes and not get +her going, and a fresh hand will come and do so the first time. + +This swinging left one feeling like nothing on earth, and sometimes was +a day's work in itself. + +In spite of all the precautions we took, whatever water was left in the +water pipes and drainings at the bottom of the radiators froze solidly, +and sure enough, when we had got them going, clouds of steam rose into +the air. The frost had come to stay and moreover it was a black one. + +Something had to be done to solve the problem for it was imperative for +every car to be ready for the road first thing in the morning. + +Camp fires were suggested, but were impracticable, and then it was that +"Night Guards" were instituted. + +Four girls sat up all night, and once every hour turned out to crank up +the cars, run them with bonnet covers on till they were thoroughly warm, +and then tuck them up again till the next time. We had from four to five +cars each, and it will give some idea of the extreme cold to say that +when we came to crank them again, in roughly three-quarters of an hour's +time, they were _almost_ cold. The noise must have been heard for some +distance when the whole Convoy was roaring and racing at once like a +small inferno. But in spite of this, I know that when it was not our +turn to sit up we others never woke. + +As soon as the cars were tucked up and silent again we raced back to the +cook-house, where we threw ourselves into deck chairs, played the +gramophone, made coffee to keep us awake, or read frightening books--I +remember I read "Bella Donna" on one of these occasions and wouldn't +have gone across the camp alone if you'd paid me. A grand midnight +supper also took up a certain amount of time. + +That three-quarters of an hour positively flew, and seemed more like ten +minutes, but punctually at the second we had to turn out again, +willy-nilly--into that biting cold with the moon shining frostily over +everything apparently turning it into steel. + +The trouble was that as the frost continued water became scarce--baths +had stopped long ago--and it began to be a question of getting even a +basinful to wash in. Face creams were extensively applied as the only +means of saving what little complexions we had left! The streets of the +town were in a terrible condition owing principally to the hygienic +customs of the inhabitants who _would_ throw everything out of their +front doors or windows. The consequence was that, without exaggeration, +the ice in some places was two feet thick, and every day fresh layers +were formed as the French housewives threw out more water. No one +remained standing in a perpendicular position for long, and the +difficulty was, once down, how to get up again. + +Finally water became so scarce we had to bring huge cans in a lorry from +the M.T., one of the few places not frozen out, and there was usually +ice on them when they arrived in camp. Then the water even began to +freeze as we filled up our radiators; and, finally, we were reduced to +chopping up the ice in our tank and melting it for breakfast! One +morning, however, Bridget came to me in great distress. "What on earth +shall I do," said she, "I've finished all the ice, and there's not a bit +left to make the tea for breakfast? I know you'll think of something," +she added hopefully. + +I had been on night guard and the idea of no hot tea was a positive +calamity. + +I thought for some minutes. "Here, give me the jug," I said, and out I +went. After looking carefully round to see that I was not observed, I +quietly tapped one of the radiators. + +"I'll tell you after breakfast where it came from," I said, as I +returned with the full jug. Bridget seized it joyfully and must have +been a bit suspicious as it was still warm, but she was much too wise to +ask any questions. + +We had a cheery breakfast, and when it was over I called out, "I hope +you all feel very much better and otherwise radiating? You ought to at +all events!" + +"Why?" they asked curiously. "Well, you've just drunk tea made out of +'radium,'" I replied. "Absolutely priceless stuff, known to a few of the +first families by its original name of 'radiator water,'" and I escaped +with speed to the fastnesses of my hut. + + +THE STORY OF A PERFECT DAY + + (_From "Barrack Room Ballads of the F.A.N.Y. Corps," + By kind permission of Winifred Mordaunt, F.A.N.Y._) + + We were smoking and absently humming + To anyone there who could play-- + (We'd finished our tea in the Mess hut + Awaiting an ambulance train--) + Roasting chestnuts some were, while the rest, + Cut up toffee or sang a refrain. + Outside was a bitter wind shrieking-- + (Thank God for a fug in the Mess!) + Never mind if the old stove is reeking + If only the cold's a bit less-- + But one of them starts and then shivers + (A goose walking over her tomb) + Gazes out at the rain running rivers + And says to the group in the room: + "Just supposing the 'God of Surprises' + Appeared in the glow of a coal, + With a promise before he demises + To take us away from this hole + And do just whatever we long to do. + Tell me your perfect day." + Said one, "Why, to fly to an island + Far away in a deep blue lagoon; + One would never be tired in my land + Nor ever get up too soon." + "Every time," cried the girl darning stockings, + "We'd surf-ride and bathe in the sea, + We'd wear nothing but little blue smockings + And eat mangoes and crabs for our tea." + "Oh no!" said a third, "that's a rotten + Idea of a perfect day; + I long to see mountains forgotten, + Once more hear the bells of a sleigh. + I'd give all I have in hard money + For one day of ski-ing again, + And to see those white mountains all sunny + Would pretty well drive me insane." + Then a girl, as she flicked cigarette ash + Most carelessly on to the floor, + Had a feeling just then that her pet "pash" + Would be a nice car at the door, + To motor all day without fagging-- + Not to drive nor to start up the thing. + Oh! the joy to see someone else dragging + A tow-rope or greasing a spring! + Then a fifth murmured, "What about fishing? + Fern and heather right up to your knees + And a big salmon rushing and swishing + 'Mid the smell of the red rowan trees." + So the train of opinions drifted + And thicker the atmosphere grew, + Till piercing the voices uplifted + Rang a sound I was sure I once knew. + A sound that set all my nerves singing + And ran down the length of my spine, + A great pack of hounds as they're flinging + Themselves on a new red-hot line! + A bit of God's country is stretching + As far as the hawk's eye can see, + The bushes are leafless, like etching, + As all good dream fences should be. + There isn't a bitter wind blowing + But a soft little southerly breeze, + And instead of the grey channel flowing + A covert of scrub and young trees. + The field of course is just dozens + Of people I want to meet so-- + Old friends, to say nothing of cousins + Who've been killed in the war months ago. + Three F.A.N.Y.s are riding like fairies + Having drifted right into my dreams, + And they're riding their favourite "hairies" + That have been dead for years, so it seems. + A ditch that I've funked with precision + For seasons, and passed by in fear, + I now leap with a perfect decision + That never has marked my career. + For a dream-horse has never yet stumbled; + Far away hounds don't know how to flag. + A dream-fence would melt ere it crumbled, + And the dream-scent's as strong as a drag. + Of course the whole field I have pounded + Lepping high five-barred gates by the score, + And I don't seem the least bit astounded, + Though I never have done it before! + At last a glad chorus of yelling, + Proclaims my dream-fox has been viewed-- + But somewhere some stove smoke is smelling + Which accounts for my feeling half stewed-- + And somewhere the F.A.N.Y.s are talking + And somebody shouts through the din: + "What a horrible habit of snoring-- + Hit her hard--wake her up--the train's in." + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +CONVOY PETS, COMMANDEERING, AND THE "FANTASTIKS" + + +We took turns to go out on "all-night duty"; a different thing from +night guards, and meant taking any calls that came through after 9 p.m. +and before 8 a.m. next morning. + +They were usually from outlying camps for men who had been taken ill or +else for stranded Army Sisters arriving at the Gare about 3 a.m. waiting +to be taken to their billets. + +It was comparatively cheery to be on this job when night guards were in +progress, as there were four hefty F.A.N.Y.s sitting up in the +cook-house, your car warm and easy to crank, and, joy of joys, a hot +drink for you when you came back! + +In the ordinary way as one scrambled into warm sweaters and top coats +the dominant thought was, would the car start all right out there, with +not a hand to give a final fillip once the "getting loose" process was +accomplished? + +Luckily my turns came round twice during night guards, and the last time +I had to go for a pneumonia case to Beau Marais. It was a bright +moonlight night, almost as light as day, with everything glittering in +the frozen snow. Susan fairly hopped it! After having found the case, +which took some doing, and deposited him in No. 30 hospital, I sped back +to camp. + +As I crossed the Place d'Armes and drove up the narrow Rue de la Mer, +Susan seemed to take a sudden header and almost threw a somersault! I +had gone into an invisible hole in the ice, two feet deep, extending +half across the street. For some reason it had melted (due probably to +an underground bakery in the vicinity). I reversed anxiously and then +hopped out to feel Susan's springs as one might a horse's knees. Thank +goodness they had not snapped, so backing all the way down the street +again, relying on the moon for light, I proceeded cautiously by another +route and got back without further mishap. + +Our menagerie was gradually increasing. There were now three dogs and +two cats in camp, not to mention a magpie and two canaries, more of +which anon. There was Wuzzy, of course, and Archie (a naughty looking +little Sealyham belonging to Heasy) and a mongrel known as G.K.W. (God +knows what) that ran in front of a visiting Red Cross touring car one +day and found itself in the position of the young lady of Norway, who +sat herself down in the doorway! I did not witness the untimely end, but +I believe it was all over in a minute. + +One cat belonged to Eva, a plain-looking animal, black with a half-white +face, christened "Miss Dip" (an inspiration on my part suggested by the +donor's name, on the "Happy Family" principle). She was the apple of her +eye, nevertheless, and nightly Eva could be heard calling "Dip, Dip, +Dip," all over the camp to fetch her to bed. Incidentally it became +quite an Angelus for us. + +Considering the way she hunted all the meat shops for tit bits, that cat +ought to have been a show animal--but it wasn't. One day as our fairy +Lowson was lightly jumping from a window-sill she inadvertently "came in +contact" with Dip's tail, the extreme tip of which was severed in +consequence! In wrathful indignation Eva rushed Dip down to the Casino +in an ambulance, where one of the foremost surgeons of the day operated +with skill and speed and made a neat job of it, to the entire +satisfaction of all concerned. If her tail still remains square at the +end she can tell her children she was _blessée dans la guerre_. The +other cat was a tortoiseshell and appropriately called "Melisande in the +Wood," justified by the extraordinary circumstances in which she was +discovered. One day at No. 35 hut hospital I saw three of the men +hunting in a bank opposite, covered with undergrowth and small shrubs. +They told me that for the past three days a kitten had been heard +mewing, but in spite of all their efforts to find it, they had failed to +do so. I listened, and sure enough heard a plaintive mew. The place was +a network of clinging roots, but presently I crawled in and found it was +just possible to get along on hands and knees. It was most +mysterious--the kitten could be heard quite loud one minute, and when +we got to the exact spot it would be some distance away again. (It +reminded me of the Dutch ventriloquist's trick in Lamarck). It was such +a plaintive mew I was determined to find that kitten if I stayed there +all night. At last it dawned on me, it must be in a rabbit hole; and +sure enough after pushing and pulling my way along to the top of the +bank, I found one over which a fall of earth had successfully pushed +some wire netting from the fence above. I waited patiently, and in due +time caught sight of a little black, yellow, and white kitten; but the +minute I made a grab for it, it bolted. I pulled the netting away, but +the hole was much too deep for so small a creature to get out by itself, +and it was much too frightened to let me catch it. With great difficulty +I extricated myself and ran to the cookhouse, where I soon enlisted +Bridget's aid. We got some small pieces of soft raw meat and crawled to +the top of the bank again. After long and tedious coaxing I at last +grabbed the little thing spitting furiously while Bridget gave it some +food, and in return for my trouble it bit and scratched like a young +devil! It was terribly hungry and bolted all we had brought. When we got +her to the cook-house she ran round the place like a mad thing, and +turned out to be rather a fast cat altogether when she grew up. We +tossed for her, Bridget won, and she was duly christened with a drop of +tinned milk on her forehead, "Melisande in the Wood." + +The magpie belonged to Russell, and came from Peuplinghe. Magpies are +supposed to be unlucky birds. This one certainly brought no luck to its +different owners. Shortly after its arrival Russell was obliged to +return to England for good. Before going, however, she presented Jacques +to Captain White at Val de Lièvre. Sure enough after some time he was +posted to the Boche prisoner camp at Marquise--a job he did not relish +at all. I don't know if he took Jacques with him, but the place was +bombed shortly after and the Huns killed many of their own men, and +presumably Jacques as well. So he did his bit for France. + +The canaries belonged to Renny--at least at first she had only one. It +happened in this wise. The man at the disinfector (where we took our +cars and blankets to be syringed after an infectious case), had had a +canary given him by his "best girl" (French). He did not want a canary +and had nowhere to keep it, but, as he explained, he did not know enough +of the language to say so, and thought the easiest way out of the +difficulty was to accept it. "Give me the bird, proper, she 'as," he +added. + +The trouble was he did not reckon on her asking after it, which she most +surely did. He could hardly confess to her that he had passed the +present on so instead he conveyed the news to her, somehow, that the +"pore little bird had gone and died on 'im." She expressed her horror +and forthwith produced a second! + +"Soon 'ave a bloomin' aviary at this rate," he remarked as he handed +the second one over! No more appeared, however, and the two little +birds, both presumably dead, twittered and sang merrily the length of +the "cues." + +As the better weather arrived so our work increased again, and in March +the Germans began a retreat in the west along a front of 100 miles. We +worked early and late and reached the point of being able to drive +almost asleep. An extraordinary sensation--you avoid holes, you slip the +clutch over bumps, you stop when necessary, and go on ditto, and at the +same time you can be having dreams! More a state of coma than actual +sleep, perhaps. I think what happened was one probably slept for a +minute and then woke up again to go off once more. + +I became "Wuzzy's" adopted mother about now and, whenever I had time, +combed and brushed his silver curls till they stood out like fluff. He +could spot Susan miles away, and though it was against rules I sometimes +took him on board. As we neared camp I told him he must get down, but he +would put on an obstinate expression and deliberately push himself +behind my back, in between me and the canvas, so that I was almost on +the steering wheel. At other times he would listen to me for awhile, +take it all in, and then put his head on my shoulder with such an +appealing gesture that I used to risk being spotted, and let him remain. +He simply adored coming out if I was going riding, but I disliked having +him intensely, for he ran about under the horses, nibbling at them and +making himself a general nuisance. He would watch me through half shut +eyes the minute I began polishing my riding boots; and try as I would to +evade him he nearly always came in the end. + +He got so crafty in time he would wait for me at the bottom of the drive +and dash out from among the shrubs just as I was vanishing. One day we +had trotted some distance along the Sangatte road, and I was just +congratulating myself I had given him the slip, when looking up, there +he was sitting on a grassy knoll just ahead, positively laughing and +licking his chops with self-satisfied glee. I gave it up after that, I +felt I couldn't cope with him, and yet there were those who called him +stupid! I grant you he had his bad days when he was referred to as my +"idiot son," but even then he was only just "peculiar"--a world of +difference. + +One job we had was termed "lodgers" and consisted of meeting the +"sitting" cases from an ambulance train, taking them to the different +hospitals for the night, and then back to the quay early next morning in +time to catch the hospital ship to England. The stretcher cases had been +put on board the night before, but there was no sleeping accommodation +for so many "sitters." An ordinary evacuation often took place as well, +so that before breakfast we had sometimes carried as many as thirty-five +sitting cases, and done journeys with twelve stretchers. One day at No. +30 hospital I saw several of the girls beside a stretcher, and there was +the "Bovril king" lying swathed in blankets, chatting affably! He was +the cook at No. 30, a genial soul, who always rushed out in the early +hours of the morning when one was feeling emptiest, with a cup of hot +soup. He called it doing his bit, and always referred to himself proudly +as the "Bovril king." Alas, he was now being invalided home with +bronchitis! + +Hope came back from leave and told me she had been pursued half way down +Regent Street by a fat old taxi driver who asked after me. It was dear +old Stone, of course, now returned to civil life and his smart taxi with +the silver "vauses!" I have hunted the stands in vain for his smiling +rosy face, but hope to spot him some day and have my three days' joy +ride. + +One precious whole afternoon off, a very rare event, I went out for a +ride with Captain D. He rode "Baby," a little bay mare, and I rode a +grey, a darling, with perfect manners and the "sweetest" mouth in the +world. He was devoted to "Baby," and wherever she went he went too, as +surely as Mary's little lamb. + +We struck off the road on to some grass and after cantering along for +some distance found we were in a network of small canals--the ground was +very spongy and the canal ahead of us fortunately not as wide as the +rest. We got over safely, landing in deep mud on the other side, and +decided our best plan was to make for the road again. We espied a house +at the end of the strip we were in with a road beyond, and agreed that +there must be a bridge or something leading to it. Captain D. went off +at a canter and I saw Baby break into a startled gallop as a train +steamed up on the line beyond the road. They disappeared behind the +house and I followed on at a canter. I turned the corner just in time to +see them almost wholly immersed in a wide canal and the gallant Captain +crawling over Baby's head on to the bank! It was one of those deceptive +spots where half the water was overgrown with thick weeds and cress, +making the place appear as narrow again. + +The grey was of course hot on Baby's track. Seeing her plight I +naturally pulled up, but he resented this strongly and rose straight on +his hind legs. Fearing he would over-balance, I quickly slacked the +reins and leant forward on his neck. But it was too late; that slippery +mud was no place to try and regain a foothold, and over he came. I just +had time to slip off sideways, promptly lost my foothold and collapsed +as well. How I laughed! There was Captain D. on one side of the canal +vainly trying to capture his "wee red tourie" floating down stream, and +Baby standing by with the mud dripping from her once glossy flanks; and +on the other was I, sitting laughing helplessly in the mud, and the grey +(now almost brown) softly nosing my cap and eyeing his beloved on the +further bank with pained surprise! + +To crown all, the train, which had come to a standstill, was by the +irony of fate full of Scottish soldiers on their way up the line. Such a +bit of luck in the shape of a free cinema show had rarely come their +way and they were bent on enjoying it to the fullest extent. The fact +that the officer now standing ruefully on the bank was in Tartan riding +"troos" of course added to the piquancy of the situation. + +The woman had come out of her cottage by this time and kept exclaiming +at intervals, "Oh, la-la, Oh, la-la," probably imagining that this +mudbath was only a new pastime of the mad English. She at last was kind +enough to open the gate; and thither I led the grey and then across a +plank bridge beyond, previously hidden from sight. + +We scraped the mud off the saddles under a running fire of witty +comments from the train. I knew the whole thing had given them so much +enjoyment that I bore them no illwill. I could see their point of view +so well, it must have been such fun to watch! "Hoots, mon," they called +to the now thoroughly embarrassed D., as we mounted, "are ye no going to +lift the lassie oop?" I was glad we were "oop" and away before the train +started again, and as we trotted along the road, cries of "Guid luck to +ye!" "May ye have a happy death!" (which is a regular north-country +wish, and a very nice one when you come to think of it), followed us. +The batman eyed us suspiciously as we reached Fontinettes where he was +waiting for the horses, and remarked that they seemed to have had a "bit +roll." My topcoat I'm glad to say covered all traces of the "bit roll" I +had indulged in on my own. It was a great ride entirely. + +One night for some reason I was unable to sleep--a rare occurrence--and +bethought me of an exciting spy book, called the _German Submarine +Base_, I had begun weeks before but had had no time to finish. All was +dead quiet with the exception of the distant steady boom of the guns, +which one of course hardly noticed. I had just got to the most thrilling +part and was holding my breath from sheer excitement when whiz! sob! +bang! and a shell went spinning over the huts. For a moment I thought I +must be dreaming or that the book was bewitched. Next minute I was out +of bed like a rabbit, and turning off the light, dashed outside just as +the second went over. I naturally looked skyward, but there was not a +sign of anything and, stranger still, not even the throb of an engine. A +third went over with a loud screech, and my hair was blown into the air +by the rushing wind it caused. I saw a flash from the sea and Thompson +said she was wakened by my voice calling, "I say, come out and see this +new stunt." Soon everyone was up and the shells came on steadily, +blowing our hair about, and making the very pebbles rush rattling along +the ground, hitting against our feet with such force we thought at first +it must be spent shrapnel. Some of those shells screeched and some +miauled like huge cats hurtling through the air to spring on their prey. +These latter made a cold shiver run down my spine; the noise they made +was so blood-curdling. One could cope with the ordinary ones, but +frankly, these were beastly. Luckily they only went over about every +tenth. It was something quite new getting shells of this calibre from +such a short range, and "side-ways," too, as someone expressed it; quite +a different sensation from on top. The noise was deafening; and then one +struck the bank our camp was built on. We had no dug-out and seemingly +were just waiting to be potted at. We got the cars ready in case we were +called up, and the shells whizzed over all the time. There was another +explosion--one had landed in our incinerator! Good business! Another hit +the bank again! Once more the fact of being so near the danger proved +our safety, for with these three exceptions, they all passed over into +the town beyond. The smell of powder in the air was so strong it made us +sneeze. It was estimated roughly that 300 shells were lobbed into the +town, and all passing over us on the way. + +It was a German destroyer that had somehow got down the coast +unchallenged, and was--we heard afterwards--only at a distance of 100 +yards! What a chance for good shooting on our part; but it was a pitch +black night and somehow she got away in the velvet darkness. Sounds of +firing at sea--easily distinguishable from those on land because of the +"plop" after them--continued throughout the night and we thought a naval +battle was in progress somewhere; however, it proved to be one of the +bombardments of England, according to the papers next day. To our great +disappointment, our little "drop in the bucket" of 300 odd shells was +not even mentioned. + +There was much eager scratching in the bank for bits of shells the next +day. One big piece was made into a paper-weight by the old Scotch +carpenter, and another was put on the "narrow escape" shelf among the +other bits that had "nearly, but not quite!" + +Wild rumours had got round the camps and town that the "lady drivers had +got it proper," been "completely wiped out," in fact not one left alive +to tell the lurid tale. So that wherever we drove the next morning we +were greeted with cheery nods and smiles by everyone. The damage to the +town was considerable, but the loss of life singularly small. The Detail +Issue Stores had gone so far as to exchange bets as to whether we would +appear to draw rations that morning, and as I drove up with Bridget on +the box we were greeted right royally. One often found large oranges in +one's tool box, or a bag of nuts, or something of the kind, popped in by +a kindly Tommy who would pass the car and merely say: "Don't forget to +look in your tool-box when you get to camp, Miss," and be gone before +you could even thank him! All the choicest "cuts" were also reserved for +us by the butcher and we were altogether spoilt pretty generally. + +Tommy is certainly a nailer at what he terms "commandeering." I was down +at the M.T. yard one day and as I left, was told casually to look in the +box when I got to camp. I did so, and to my horror saw a wonderful foot +pump--the pneumatic sort. I had visions of being hauled up before a +Court of Enquiry to produce the said pump, which was a brand new one and +painted bright red. On my next job I made a point of going round by the +M.T. yard to return the "present." I found my obliging friend, who was +pained in the extreme at the mere mention of a pump. "Never 'eard of +one," he affirmed stoutly. "Leastways," he said reminiscently, looking +at me out of the corner of his eye, "I do seem to remember something +about a stawf car bein' in 'ere this morning when yours was"--and he +smiled disarmingly. "Look 'ere," he continued, "you forget all about it, +Miss. I 'ates to see yer puffing at the tyres with them old-fashioned +ones, and anyway," with a grin, "that car's in Abbeville now!" + +Another little example of similar "commandeering" was when my friend of +the chopped sticks turned up one day with a small Primus stove: "I 'eard +you was askin' for one, and 'ere it is," and with that he put it down +and fled. After the pump episode I was full of suspicions about little +things that "turned up" from nowhere, but for a long time I had no +opportunity of asking him exactly where the gift had come from. One +night, however, one of the doctors from the adjacent hut hospital was up +in camp, and Primus stoves suddenly cropped up in the conversation. +"Most extraordinary thing," said he, "my batman is as honest as the day, +and can't account for the disappearance of my stove at all. No one went +into my hut, he declares, and yet the stove is gone, and not so much as +a sign of it. One thing is I'd know it if I saw it again." I started +guiltily at this, and got rather pink--"Look here," I said, "come into +my hut a moment." He did so. "By Jove! that's my stove right enough," he +cried, "I know the scratches on it. How on earth did you get it?" "That +I can't tell you," I replied, "but you can have it back" (graciously), +"and look here, it wasn't _your_ batman, so rest easy." He was too wise +to ask unnecessary questions (one didn't in France), and only too +thankful to get his Primus, which he joyfully carried back in state. It +was a pity about it, because they were impossible to get at that time, +and our huts had already been raided for electric kettles. + +Gothas came frequently to visit us at night and terrible scenes took +place, during which we were ordered out amid the dropping bombs to carry +the injured to hospital, but more often than not to collect the dead, or +what was left of them. + +One morning I was in great distress, for I lost my purse through the +lining of my wolf-coat. It was not the loss of the purse that worried +me, but the fact that I always kept the little medal of the Virgin and +Child in there, given me by the old Scotch nun in Paris "for +protection." "Eva," I called, "I've lost my luck--that little charm I +had given me in 1915--I do wish I hadn't. I'm not superstitious in the +ordinary way, but I kind of believe in that thing;" she only laughed +however. But I took the trouble to advertise for it in the local +paper--unfortunately with no result. I was very distressed. + +Our concert party got really quite a slap-up show going about this time. +We also had a drop scene behind--a huge white linen sheet on which we +_appliquéd_ big black butterflies fluttering down to a large sunflower +in the corner, the petals of which were the same yellow as the bobbles +on our dresses. We came to the conclusion that something of the sort was +necessary, for as often as not we had to perform in front of +puce-coloured curtains that hardly showed us up to the best advantage. + +One of the best shows we ever gave I think was for the M.T. _dépôt_. +They did so much for us one way and another repairing cars (not to +mention details like the foot pump episode), that we were only too glad +to do something for them in return. The _pièce de résistance_ (at least, +Dicky and I thought so) was a skit we got up on one of "Lena's" concert +party stars--a ventriloquist stunt. We thought of it quite suddenly and +only had time for one rehearsal before the actual performance. I paid a +visit to Corporal Coy of the mortuary (one of the local low comedians, +who, like the coffin-cart man at Lamarck, "had a merry eye!" and was a +recognized past-master in the art of make-up), and borrowed his little +bowler hat for the occasion. He listened solemnly to the scheme, and +insisted on making me a fascinating little Charlie Chaplin moustache +(the requisites for which he kept somewhere in the mortuary with the +rest of his disguises!) and he then taught me to waggle it with great +skill! + +Dicky was the "doll" with round shiny patches of red on her cheeks and a +Tommy's cap and hospital blue coat. She supplied the glassy stare +herself most successfully. For these character stunts we simply put on +caps and coats over our "Fantastik" kit and left the rest to the +imagination of the audience who was quick (none quicker) to grasp the +implied suggestion. I was "Mr. Lenard Ashwell" in aforementioned bowler, +moustache, and coat. We made up the dialogue partly on the basis of the +original performance, and added a lot of local colour. I asked the +questions, and was of course supposed to ventriloquize the answers, and, +thanks to the glassy stare of my doll, her replies almost convinced the +audience I was doing so. + +They had all seen the real thing a fortnight before, so that we were +greeted with shouts of laughter as the curtain went up. + +The trouble was, as we had only written the book of words that day it +was rather hard for me to remember them, so I had taken the precaution +of safety-pinning them on my doll's back. It was all right for her as +she got the cue from me. It was not difficult, half supporting her as I +appeared to be, to squint behind occasionally for the next jest! On one +of these occasions my incorrigible doll horrified me by winking at the +audience and exclaiming, to their delight, "The bloke's got all the +words on my back!" She then revolved out of my grasp, and spun slowly +round on her stool. This unrehearsed effect quite brought the house +down, and not to be outdone, I raised my small bowler repeatedly in +acknowledgment! + +I was a little taken aback the next morning when the man at the petrol +stores said, "My, but you wos a fair treat as Charlie Chaplin last +night, Miss." (It must have been Corporal Coy's moustache that did it, +not to mention lifting my bowler from the rear!) + +The more local colour you get in a show of that sort the better the men +like it, and we parodied all the latest songs as fast as they came out. +Winnie and "Squig" in Unity More's "_Clock strikes Thirteen_" were +extremely popular, especially when they sang with reference to cranking +up in the mornings: + + Wind, wind. _Oh_ what a grind! + I could weep, I could swear, I could scream, + Both my arms ache, and my back seems to break + But she'll go when the clock strikes thirteen. + + + Oh, oh (with joy), at last she will go! + There's a spark from the bloomin' machine, + She's going like fire, when bang goes a tyre + And we'll start when the clock strikes thirteen! + +The whole programme was as follows:-- + + 1. The FANTASTIKS announce their shortcomings in + chorus of original words to the opening music of the Bing + Boys--"We're the FANTASTIKS, and we rise at six and + don't get much time to rehearse, so if songs don't go, and + the show is slow, well, we hope you'll say it might have + been worse," etc., etc. + + 2. _Violin_ 1. "Andantino" (Kreisler) } + } P.B. WADDELL + 2. "Capriccioso" (Drdla) } + 3. _Recitation_ Humorous N.F. LOWSON + 4. _Chorus Song_ "Piccadilly" FANTASTIKS (in monocles) + 5. _Stories_ M. RICHARDSON + 6. _China Town_ FANTASTIKS + (Sung in the dark with lighted Chinese lanterns, quite + professional in effect--at least we hoped so!) + 7. _Recitation_ Serious B. HUTCHINSON + 8. Mr. Lenard Ashwell and his } { M. RICHARDSON + Ventriloquist Doll } { P.B. WADDELL + 9. _Duet_ "When the Clock strikes Thirteen" G. QUIN AND + W. MORDAUNT + 10. _Violin Solo_ "Zigeunerweisen" (Sarasate) P.B. WADDELL + 11. _Song_ "Au Revoir" W. MORDAUNT + 12. _The Kangaroo Hop_ FANTASTIKS + +The chorus wore their goat-coats for this last item, and with animal +masks fixed by elastic, bears, wolves, elephants, etc., it was +distinctly realistic. + +When "God save the King" had been sung, and the usual thanks and cheers +given, and received, the Sergeant-Major from the Canteen (with the +beautiful waxed moustache) rushed forward to say that light refreshments +had been provided. The "grizzly bears" were only too thankful, as they +had had no time to snatch even a bun before they left camp. + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +THE LAST RIDE + + +The hardest job in the Convoy was admittedly that of the big lorry, for, +early and late, it was first and last on the field. + +It took all the stretchers and blankets to the different hospitals, +cleared up the quay after an early evacuation, brought stretchers and +blankets up to the Convoy, took the officers' kits to hospital and +boats, and rationed the ambulance trains and barges. "Jimmy" took to the +Vulcan instinctively when the Convoy was first started and jealously +kept to the job, but after a time she was forcibly removed therefrom in +order to take a rest. I could sympathize--I knew how I had felt about +the little lorry. + +The job was to be taken in fortnightly turns, and while the old Vulcan +lorry was being overhauled a Wyllis-Overland was sent in its place. + +The disadvantage of the lorry was that you never saw any of your +friends, for you were always on duty when they were off, and vice versa; +also you hardly ever had meals when they did. Eva's fortnight was almost +up, and I was hoping to see something of her before I went on leave when +one night in she came with the news that I was the next one for +it--hardly a welcome surprise; and down at barges that evening--it was a +Sunday--Gamwell, the Sergeant, told me officially I was to take on the +job next morning at 5 a.m. + +When I got back to Camp I went for a preliminary run on it, as I had +never driven that make before. The tyres were solid, all vestige of +springs had long since departed from the seat and the roof was covered +with tin that bent and rattled like stage thunder. The gears were in the +middle and very worn, and the lever never lost an opportunity of +slipping into first as you got out, and consequently the lorry tried to +run over you when you cranked up! Altogether a charming car. You drove +along like a travelling thunder-clap, and coming up the slope into Camp +the earth fairly shook beneath you. I used to feel like the whole of +Valhalla arriving in a Wagner Opera! It was also quite impossible to +hear what anyone said sitting on the seat beside you. + +The third day, as I got out, I felt all my bones over carefully. "When I +come off this job," I called to Johnson, "I shall certainly swallow a +bottle of gum as a wise precaution." He grinned appreciatively. + +Lowson, who had had her turn before Eva, appropriately christened it +"Little Willie," and I can affirm that that car had a Hun soul. + +You were up and dressed at 5 a.m. and waited about camp till the +telephone bell rang to say the train had arrived. Schofield, the +incinerator man who was usually in the camp at that hour, never failed +to make a cup of tea--a most welcome thing, for one never got back to +camp to have breakfast till 11 or 11.30 a.m. I used to spend the +interval, after "Little Willie" was all prepared for the road, combing +out Wuzzy's silver curls. He always accompanied the lorry and was +allowed to sit, or rather jolt, on the seat beside me, unrebuked. After +breakfast there was the quay to clear up and all the many other details +to attend to, getting back to camp about 3 to go off in an hour's time +to barges. When a Fontinettes ambulance train came down, the lorry +driver was lucky if she got to bed this side of 2 a.m. + +All social engagements in the way of rides, etc., had to be cancelled in +consequence, but the Monday before I went into hospital the grey and +Baby appeared up in camp about 5.30. I was hanging about waiting for the +telephone to say the barge had arrived, but as there was a high wind +blowing it was considered very unlikely it would come down the canal +that evening. I 'phoned to a station several miles up to enquire if it +was in sight, and the reply came back "Not a sign," and I accordingly +got permission to go out for half an hour. I was so afraid Captain D. +might not consider it worth while and could have almost wept, but +fortunately he agreed half an hour was better than nothing, and off we +went up the sands, leaving the bob-tailed Wuzzy well in the rear. What a +glorious gallop that was--my last ride! The sands appeared almost +golden in the sun and the wind was whipping the deep blue waves into +little crests of foam against the paler turquoise of the sky. Already +the flowers on the dunes had burst into leaf, for it was the "merrie +month of May," and there, away on the horizon, the white cliffs of +England could just be discerned. Altogether it was good to be alive. +"Hurrah," I cried, as we slowed down to a walk, "five more days and then +on leave to England!" and I rubbed the grey's neck with joy. Alas! that +half hour flew like ten minutes and we turned all too soon and raced +back, thudding along over the glorious sands as we went. + +I got to the Convoy to find there was no news of the barge, but I had to +dismount all the same--duty is duty--and I kissed the grey's nose, +little thinking I should never see him again. The barge did not come +down till 9 o'clock the next morning. _C'est la guerre_--and a _very_ +trying one to boot! + +The weather was ideal just then: warm and sunny and not a cloud in the +sky except for those little round white puffs where the Archie shells +burst round the visiting Huns. + +One afternoon about 5 o'clock, when breakfast had been at lunch time and +consequently that latter meal had been _n'apoo'd_ altogether, I went +into the E.M.O.'s for the chits before leaving for camp. (These initials +stood for "Embarkation Medical Officer" and always designated the office +and shed where the blankets and stretchers were kept; also, +incidentally, the place where the Corporal and two men slept.) As I +entered a most appetising odour greeted my nostrils and I suddenly +realized how very hungry I was. I sniffed the air and wondered what it +could be. + +"Just goin' to have a cockle tea," explained the Corporal. "I suppose, +Miss, you wouldn't care to join us?" I knew the brew at the Convoy would +be long since cold, and accepted the invitation joyfully. + +Their "dining-room" was but the shed where the stretchers were piled up, +many of them brown and discoloured by blood, and bundles of fusty army +blankets, used as coverings for the wounded, reached almost to the +ceiling. They were like the stretchers in some cases, and always sticky +to the touch. I could not repress a shudder as I turned away to the much +more welcome sight of tea. A newspaper was spread on the rough table in +my honour and Wheatley was despatched "at the double" to find the only +saucer! (Those who knew the good Wheatley will perhaps fail to imagine +he could attain such a speed--dear Wheatley, with his long spindle legs +and quaint serio-comic face. He was a man of few words and a heart of +gold.) + +I look back on that "cockle tea" as one of my happiest memories. It was +so jolly and we were all so gay and full of hope, for things were going +well up the line. + +I had never tasted cockles before and thought they were priceless. We +discussed all manner of things during tea and I learnt a lot about their +aspirations for _après la guerre_. It was singular to think that within +a short month, of that happy party Headley the Corporal alone remained +sound and whole. One was killed by a shell falling on the E.M.O. One was +in hospital crippled for life, and the third was brought in while I was +there and died shortly after from septic pneumonia. Little did we think +what was in store as we drank tea so merrily! + +Wheatley insisted on putting a bass bag full of cockles into the lorry +before I left, and when I got to camp I ran to the cook-house thinking +how they would welcome a variation for supper. + +"Cockles?" asked Bridget. "Humph, I suppose you know they grow on sewers +and people who eat them die of ptomaine poisoning?" "No," I said, not at +all crestfallen, "do they really, well I've just eaten a whole bag full! +If they give me a military funeral I do hope you'll come," and I +departed, feeling rather hurt, to issue further invitations. + +I was drawing petrol at the Stores the next day and as I was signing for +it the man there (my Charlie Chaplin friend) kindly began to crank up. + +As he did so I saw Little Willie move gently forward, and ran out to +slip the gear back into "neutral." + +"It's a Hun and called 'Little Willie,'" I explained as I did so. + +"Crikey, wot a car," he observed, "no wonder you calls it that. Don't +you let him put it acrosst you, Miss." + +"He's only four more days to do it in," I thought joyfully, as I rattled +off to the Quay, and yet somehow a premonition of some evil thing about +to happen hung over me, and again I wished I hadn't lost my charm. + +The next day was Wednesday, and I had been up since 5 and was taking a +lorry-full of stretchers and blankets past a French Battery to the +E.M.O.'s. It was about midday and there was not a cloud in the sky. Then +suddenly my heart stood still. Somehow, instinctively, I knew I was "for +it" at last. Whole eternities seemed to elapse before the crash. There +was no escape. Could I urge Little Willie on? I knew it was hopeless; +even as I did so he bucketed and failed to respond. He would! How I +longed for Susan, who could always be relied upon to sprint forward. At +last the crash came. I felt myself being hurled from the car into the +air, to fall and be swept along for some distance, my face being +literally rubbed in the ground. I remember my rage at this, and even in +that extreme moment managed to seize my nose in the hope that it at +least might not be broken! Presently I was left lying in a crumpled heap +on the ground. My first thought, oddly enough, was for the car, which I +saw standing sulkily and somewhat battered not far off. "There _will_ be +a row," I thought. The stretcher bearer in behind had been killed +instantaneously, but fortunately I did not know of this till some time +later, nor did I even know he had jumped in behind. The car rattled to +such an extent I had not heard the answer to my query, if anyone was +coming with me to unload the stretchers. + +I tried to move and found it impossible. "What a mess I'm in," was my +next thought, "and how my legs ache!" I tried to move them too, but it +was no good. "They must both be broken," I concluded. I put my hand to +my head and brought it away all sticky. "That's funny," I thought, +"where can it have come from?" and then I caught sight of my hand. It +was all covered with blood. I began to have a panic that my back might +be injured and I would not be able to ride again. That was all that +really worried me. I had always dreaded anything happening to my back, +somehow. + +The French soldiers were down from their Battery in a trice, all great +friends of mine to whom I had often thrown ration cigarettes. + +Gaspard (that was not his name, I never knew it, but always called him +that in my own mind after Raymond's hero) gave a cry and was on the +ground beside me, calling me his "little cabbage," his "poor little +pigeon," and presently he half lifted me in his arms and cradled me as +he might a baby. I remained quite conscious the whole time. "Will I be +able to ride again?" kept hammering through my brain. The pain was +becoming rapidly worse and I began to wonder just where my legs were +broken. As I could move neither I could not discover at all, and +presently I gave a gasp as I felt something tighten and hurt terribly. +It was a boot lace they were fixing to stop the hæmorrhage (bootlaces +are used for everything in France). The men stood round, and I watched +them furtively wiping the tears away that rolled down their furrowed +cheeks. One even put his arm over his eyes as a child does. I wondered +vaguely why they were crying; it never dawned on me it had anything to +do with _me_. "Complètement coupée," I heard one say, and quick as a +shot, I asked, "Où est-ce que c'est qu'est coupé?" and those tactful +souls, just rough soldiers, replied without hesitation, "La jaquette, +Mademoiselle." + +"Je m'en fiche de la jaquette," I answered, completely reassured. + +I wished the ambulance would come soon. "I _am_ in a beastly mess," I +thought again. "Fancy broken legs hurting like this. What must the men +go through!" + +It was singular I was so certain they were broken. But a month before I +had received a wire from the War Office stating one of my brothers had +crashed 1,000 feet and had two legs fractured, and without more ado I +took it for granted I was in a similar plight. "I won't sit up and +look," I decided, "or I shall think I'm worse than I am. There's sure to +be some blood about," and the sun beat down fiercely, drying what there +was on my face into hard cakes. My lower lip had also been cut inside +somehow. One man took off his coat and held it high up to form a shade. +I saw everything that happened with a terrible distinctness. They had +already bound up my head, which was cut and bleeding profusely. + +The pain was becoming almost intolerable and I wondered if in time I +would cry, but luckily one does not cry on those occasions; it becomes +an impossibility somehow. I even began to wish I could. I asked to have +my legs lifted a little and the pain seemed to ease somewhat. I shall +never forget those Frenchmen. They were perfect. How often I had smiled +at them as I passed, and laughed to see them standing in a ring like +naughty schoolboys, peeling potatoes, their Sergeant walking round to +see that it was done properly! + +The little French doctor from the Battery, who had once helped me change +a tyre, came running up and I covered the scratched side of my face lest +he should get too much of a shock. "Je suis joliment dans la soupe," I +said, and saw him go as white as a sheet. "These Frenchmen are very +sympathetic," I thought, for it had dawned on me what they were crying +about by that time. + +Just then an ambulance train came down the line and the two English +doctors were fetched. A tourniquet which seemed like a knife, and hurt +terribly, was applied as well as the bootlace. I was also given some +morphia. "This will hurt a little," he said as he pushed in the needle, +which I thought distinctly humorous. As if a prick from a hypodermic +could be anything in comparison with what was going on "down there" +where I hadn't courage to look! His remark had one good effect though, +because I thought: "If he thinks _that_ will hurt there can't be much to +fuss over down there." + +Would the ambulance never arrive? I wondered if we were always so +long--which F.A.N.Y. would come? "She's cranked up by now and on the +way, probably as far as the bridge," I thought. I drove all the way down +in my own mind and yet she did not arrive, but they had 'phoned to the +French hospital in the town and not the Convoy. I did not know this till +I saw the French car arrive. + +It seemed an age. Gaspard never moved once from his cramped position and +kept saying soothingly from time to time: "Allons, p'tit chou, mon +pauvre petit pigeon, ça viendra tout à l'heure, hé la petite." + +At last the ambulance came. I dreaded being lifted, but those soldiers +raised me so tenderly the wrench was not half as bad as I had +anticipated. I had been there just over forty minutes. Then began the +journey in the ambulance. The men gave me a fine salute as I was taken +off and I waved good-bye. One of the Sisters from the train came in the +car with me and also the little French doctor whose hand I hung on to +most of the way, and which incidentally must have been like pulp when we +arrived. + +As luck would have it the driver was a new man, and neither the doctor +nor the sister knew the way, so I had to give the directions. The doctor +was all for taking me to the French military hospital, but I asked to +be taken to the Casino. + +"So this is what the men go through every day," I thought, as we were +into a hole and out again with a bump and the pain became almost too +much to bear. The doctor swore at the driver, and I took another grip of +his hand. "Bien difficile de ne pas faire ça," I murmured, for I knew he +had really manoeuvred it well. The constant give of the springs +jiggling endlessly up and down, up and down, was as trying as anything. +The trouble was I knew every hole in that road and soon we had to cross +railway lines! The sister, who was a stranger too, began to worry how +she would find her way back to the train, but I assured her once arrived +at the Casino, she only had to walk up to our camp to get a F.A.N.Y. +car. "I hope there won't be many people there when I'm pulled out," I +thought, "I hate being stared at in such a beastly mess," above all I +hated a fuss. + +Now we had come to the railway lines. "What would it have been like +without morphia?" I wondered. Of course the drawbridge was up and that +meant at least ten minutes wait till the ships went through. My luck +seemed dead out. At last I heard the familiar clang as it rattled into +place, and we were over. + +I dared not close my eyes, as I had a sort of feeling I'd never be able +to open them again. "Only up the slope and then I'm there. If I can't +keep them open till then, I'm done." The pain was getting worse again, +and from what the sister said I gathered something down there had begun +to hæmorrhage once more. Still no thought of the truth ever dawned on +me. + +At last we arrived and slowly backed into place. I could not help seeing +the grim humour of the situation; I had driven so many wounded men there +myself. The Colonel, who must have heard, for he was waiting, looked +very white and worried, and Leather, one of the Duchess' drivers, +started visibly as I was pulled out. I was told after that my +complexion, or what could be seen of it, was ashen grey in colour and if +my eyes had not been open they would have thought the worst. I was +carried into the big hall and there my beloved Wuzzy found me. I heard a +little whine and felt a warm tongue licking my face--luckily he had not +been with me that morning. + +"Take that ---- dog away, someone," cried the Colonel, who was peevish +in the extreme. "He's not a ---- dog," I protested, and then up came a +Padre who asked gravely, "What are you, my child?" Thinking I was now +fairly unrecognisable by this time with the Frenchman's hanky round my +head, etc., I replied, "A F.A.N.Y., of course!" This completely +scandalized the good Padre. When he had recovered, he said, "No, you +mistake me, what religion I mean?" + +"He wants to know what to bury me under," I thought, "what a thoroughly +cheerful soul!" "C. of E.," I replied as per identity disc. He then took +my home address, which seemed an unnecessary fuss, and I was left in +peace. Captain C. was there as well and came over to the stretcher. + +"I've broken both legs," I announced, "will I be able to ride again?" + +"Of course you will," he said. + +"Sure?" I asked. + +"Rather," he replied, and I felt comforted. + +I was then carried straight through ward I. into the operating theatre. +The men in bed looked rather startled, and Barratt, a man I had driven +and been visiting since, was near the door. What he said is hardly +repeatable. When the British Tommy is much moved he usually becomes +thoroughly profane! I waved to him as I disappeared through the door +into the theatre. + +I was speedily undressed. Dicky appeared mysteriously from somewhere and +was a brick. The room seemed to be full of nurses and orderlies and then +I went slipping off into oblivion as the chloroform took effect (my +first dose and at that time very welcome) and at last I was in a land +where pain becomes obliterated in one vast empty space. + + * * * * * + +I woke that afternoon and of course wondered where I was. Everything +seemed to be aching and throbbing at once. I tried to move, but I felt +as if I was clamped to the bed. "This is terrible," I thought, "I must +be having a nightmare." Then I saw the cradle covering my legs. "What +could it be?" I wondered, and then in a flash the scenes of that morning +(or was it a week ago?) came back to me. I wondered if my back was all +right and felt carefully down the side. No, there was no bandage, and I +sighed with relief, though it ached like fury. I could feel the top of +the wooden splints on the one leg but nothing but bandages on the other. + +My head had been sewn up, also my lip, and a nice tight bandage replaced +the hanky. + +It was thumping wildly and presently an unseen figure gave me something +very cool to sip out of a feeding mug. Things straightened out a bit +after that, and I saw there were quantities of flowers in the room, +jugfuls in fact, which had been sent to cheer me along. Then something +in my leg, the one that was hurting most, gave a fearful tug and a jump +and I drew in my breath with a sobbing gasp. What could it be? It felt +just as if someone had tugged it on purpose, and it took ages to settle +down again. I looked mutely at my nurse for an explanation, and she put +a cool hand on mine. + +It was the severed nerve, and I learnt to dread those involuntary jumps +that came so suddenly from nowhere and seized one like a deadly cramp. + +Everything, including my back, was one vast ache punctuated by those +appalling nerve jumps that set every other one in my body tingling. + +How I longed to turn on my side, but that was a luxury denied me for +weeks. + +My friend Eva had heard the cheerful news when she returned from +Boulogne, where she had been all day, and she and Lowson were allowed to +come and see me for a few minutes. + +"I've broken both legs," I stated. "Isn't it the limit? They don't half +hurt." They nodded sympathetically, not daring to give me a hint of the +real state of affairs. + +"Captain C. says I'll be able to ride again though," I added, and once +more they nodded. + +"I told you what would happen when I lost that charm," I said to Eva. + +I asked after "Little Willie," and heard his remains had been towed to +camp, though being a Hun he would of course manage to escape somehow! + +I had an adorable V.A.D. to look after me. The best I ever want to have. +She seemed to know exactly what I wanted without being told. I felt +almost too tired to speak, and in any case it's not easy with stitches +in your mouth. + +The Padre, not my friend of the entrance hall I was glad to note, came +to see me and I had a Communion Service all to myself, as they thought I +might possibly die in the night. + +I dreaded the nights as I'd dreaded nothing before in my life; with +darkness everything seemed to become intensified. Whenever I did manage +to snatch a few moments' sleep the dreadful demon that seemed to lurk +somewhere just out of sight would pop up and jerk my leg again. I would +think to myself "Now I will really catch him next time," and I would lie +waiting in readiness, but just as I thought I was safe, jerk! and my leg +would jump worse than ever. I clenched my fists in rage, and the V.A.D. +came from behind the screen to smooth the pillows for me. I used to lie +and think of all the thousands of men in hospital and perhaps even lying +untended in No-man's-land going through twice as much as I, and wondered +if the world would really be any the better for all this suffering or if +it would be forgotten as soon as the war was over. It seemed to be +rather a waste if it was to be so. + +When morning came there were the dressings to be done. At 10 o'clock I +used to try and imagine it was really 11, and all over, but the rattle +of the trolley and terribly cheerful voice of Sister left room for no +illusions on that score. My hands were useful on these occasions, and at +the end of the half hour were excellent examples of the shape of my +teeth! They were practically the only parts completely uninjured, and I +knew that whatever happened I could still play the violin again. + +I could not understand why one leg had jumping nerves and the other +apparently had none and argued that the one must be half-broken to +account for it. The B.E.F. specialist also paid frequent visits. + +Then one evening, the third or fourth I think, Captain C. came in and +sat down in the shadow, looking very grave. + +I think it must have been one of the worst half-hours he ever spent. It +is not a job any man would relish to tell someone who is particularly +fond of life that they have lost one leg and the other has only just +been saved! I was speechless for some minutes; in fact I refused to +believe it. It took a long time for the full horror of the situation to +dawn on me. It will seem odd that I did not feel I had lost my leg, but +one never has that sensation even when on crutches; the nerves are +unfortunately too much alive. + +Captain C. stayed a long time and the evening drew on but still he sat +there and talked to me quietly in the darkness. I wondered why I +couldn't cry, but somehow it seemed to have nothing to do with me at +all. I was not the girl who had lost a leg. It was merely someone else I +was hearing about. "Jolly bad luck on them," I thought, "rotten not to +be able to run about any more." + +Then my leg jumped and it began to dawn on me that I was the girl to +whom those things had happened. Still, I could not cry. Useless to urge +how lucky it was my knee had just been saved. What use was a knee, I +thought bitterly, if I could never fly round again! When was the very +soonest I could get about with one of these artificial legs, I asked, +and he swore to me that if all went well, in a year's time. A year! I +had fancied the autumn at latest. Little did I know it would be even +longer. That night was the worst I'd had. It is a useless occupation to +kick against the pricks anyway, and the hours dragged slowly on till +morning came at last. When it was light enough I looked round, as well +as I could at least, lying flat on my back, for something to distract my +thoughts. Seeing a _Pearson's Magazine_ with George Robey on the cover, +I drew it towards me and saw there was an article by him inside. Quite +sure that "George" would cheer me up if anyone could I turned the pages +and found it. It not only cheered me but gave me the first real ray of +hope. There in print was all Captain C. had told me the night before, +and somehow, to see a thing in print is doubly convincing. It was on +disabled soldiers and the pluck with which they bore their misfortunes. + +There was one story of two of his friends who walked into his +dressing-room one day. After dancing about the place they told him they +were out of the army. + +"I don't see much wrong with you," said G., eyeing them up and down. +They then whacked their legs soundly and never flinched once, for they +each had an artificial one! I blessed George from the bottom of my +heart. Someone told him this, and he promptly sat down and wrote to me, +enclosing several signed postcards and a drawing of himself at the end +of the letter--his own impression of what he looked like in the +pre-historic scene in _Zigzag_--and a promise of a box for the show as +soon as I got to Blighty. Some jolly good fellow! + +The countless flowers I received were one of the chief joys. I simply +adored lying and looking at them. + +Every single person I knew seemed to have remembered me, and boxes of +chocolates filled my shelf as well. + +The Parc d'Automobiles Belges sent such a huge _gerbe_ that two men had +to carry it, and, emblazoned on a broad ribbon of the Belgian colours, +spanning the whole thing, was my name and an inscription in letters of +gold! Captain Saxon Davies, from the "Christol" in Boulogne, had fruit +sent over in the boat from Covent Garden delivered at the hospital every +morning by motor cycle. I felt quite overwhelmed; everyone seemed +determined to spoil me. + +One day the Padre had come in to see me and was just concluding a prayer +when there was a tap, and the door opened on the instant. A large +bottle, the size of a magnum, was pushed in by an orderly, who, seeing +the Padre, departed in haste. (I was squinting up through my eyelashes +and saw it all and just pulled myself together in time to say "Amen.") + +I knew who had sent it and hastened to explain: "It's not champagne, +Padre, it's Eau de Cologne!" That surprising sportsman replied: "Isn't +it? Bad luck. Have you a scent spray? No? Well, I'll get you one!" (Some +Padre!) + +On the Sunday one of my people came over, thanks to the cheery telegrams +the War Office had been dispatching. It seemed an unnecessary fuss--the +Colonel, too, showed distinct signs of "needle"--but it was a dear +little Aunt who is never flustered by anything and who greeted me as if +we had parted only yesterday. The word "leg" was not included in her +dictionary at all. One is apt to be a bit touchy at first about these +little things, and though I had seen the most terrible wounds in our +hospital, amputations had always rattled me thoroughly. + +The little Aunt subsequently entertained the austere A.P.M., while her +papers were being put in order, with most interesting details of my +childhood and how she had brought me up from a baby! The whole interview +was described to me as "utterly priceless," by the F.A.N.Y. who had +taken her there. + +The French Battery sent daily to enquire and presently I was allowed +visitors. I began to realize after a while that in losing a leg you find +out exactly who your real friends are. There are those whom I shall +never forget who came day after day to read or talk to me--friends who +paid no attention when the leg gave one of its violent jerks, but went +on talking as if nothing had happened, a fact that helped me to bear it +more than all the expressed sympathy in the world. The type who says +"Whatever was that? How dreadful!" fortunately never came. It was only +due to those real friends that I was saved from slipping into a slough +of despond from which I might never have hoped to rise. Eva gave up +rides and tennis in order to come down every day, and considering the +little time there was to devote to these pastimes I appreciated it all +the more. + +To say I was the best posted person in the place is no exaggeration. I +positively heard both sides of every question (top and bottom as well +sometimes) and did my best to make as little scandal as possible! + +I was in a room off the "Grand Circle" of the one-time Casino, an +officers' ward. One night the Sister had left me for a moment and I +could have sworn I saw three Germans enter. I thought they said to me +that they had come to hide and if I gave them away they would hit my +leg. The mere suggestion left me dumb and I distinctly seemed to see +them getting under the two other empty beds in the room. + +After a few minutes it dawned on me what a traitor I was, and bit by bit +I eased myself up on my elbows. "I must go and tell someone these +Germans are here," I thought, and turned back the clothes. After +throwing the small sand bags on the floor that kept my bad leg in +position, I next seized the cradle and pitched that overboard. I then +carefully lifted first one leg round and then the other and sat swaying +on the side of the bed. The splints naturally jutted out some distance +from the end of my one leg and this struck me as being very funny. I +wondered just how I could walk on them. Then I looked down at the other +and the proposition seemed funnier still; though I could feel as if the +leg was there, when I looked there was nothing. It was really extremely +odd! I sat there for some time cogitating these matters and was just +about to try how I could walk when very luckily in came an orderly. + +"Germans!" I gasped, pointing to the two beds. I must have looked a +little odd sitting swaying there in a very inadequate "helpless" shirt +belonging to the hospital! With a muttered exclamation he rushed forward +just catching me in his arms, and I was back in bed in a twinkling. The +whole thing was so clear to me; even now I can fancy I really saw those +Germans, and the adorable V.A.D., after searching under the beds at my +request, sat with me for the rest of the night. My "good" leg was tied +securely down after that episode. + +I was dead and buried (by report) several times that first week in +hospital and Sergeant Richardson from the Detail Issue Stores, who saw +we always had the best rations, came up to see me one afternoon. He was +so spick and span I hardly recognized him, and in his hand was a large +basket of strawberries. The very first basket that had appeared in the +fruiterers' that year. He sat down and told me how anxious "the boys" +were to hear how I really was. All sorts of exaggerated rumours had been +flying about. + +He related how he had first heard the news on that fatal Wednesday and +how "a bloke" told him I had been killed outright. "I knocked 'im down," +said the Sergeant with pride, "and when he comes to me the next morning +to tell to me you wos still alive, why, I was so pleased I knocked 'im +down again!" + +Bad luck on the "bloke," what? I was convulsed, only the trouble was it +hurt me even to laugh, which was trying. + +He had been out in Canada before the war as a cowboy and had always +promised to show me some day how to pick things off the ground when +galloping, a pastime we agreed I should now have to forgo. I assured him +if I couldn't do that, however, I had every intention of riding again. +Had I not heard that morning of someone who even hunted! I began to +appreciate the fact that I had my knee. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +HOSPITALS: FRANCE AND ENGLAND + + +An old Frenchman came to the hospital every day with the English papers, +and looked in to leave me the _Mirror_, for which he would never accept +any payment. He had very few teeth and talked in an indistinct sort of +patois and insisted on holding long conversations in consequence! He +told me he would be _enchanté_ to bring me some novels _bien choisis par +ma femme_ (well chosen by my wife) one day, and in due course they +arrived--the 1 franc 25 edition. + +The names in most cases were enough, and the pictures in some a little +more! If they were his wife's idea of suitable books for _jeunes filles_ +I wondered vaguely with what exactly the grown-ups diverted themselves! +I had not the heart to tell him I never read them. + +All the French people were extraordinarily kind and often came in to see +me. They never failed to bring a present of some sort either. +Mademoiselle Marguerite, the dear fat old lady who kept the flower shop +in the Rue, always brought some of her flowers, and looking round would +declare that I was trying to run an opposition to her! Madame from the +_Pharmacie_ came with a large bottle of scent, the little dressmaker +brought some lace. Monsieur and Madame from the "Omelette Shop" (a +popular resort of the F.A.N.Y.s) arrived very hot and smart one Sunday +afternoon. Monsieur, who was fat, with large rolls at the back of his +neck, was rather ill at ease and a little panting from the walk +upstairs. He had the air of a man trying to appear as if he were +somewhere else. He tiptoed carefully to the window and had a look at the +_plage_. "The bonhomme wished to come and assure himself which of the +_demoiselles anglaises_ it was, to whom had arrived so terrible a +thing," said Madame, "but me, I knew. Is it not so, Henri?" she cried to +her husband. "I said it was this one there," and she pointed +triumphantly to me. As they were going he produced a large bottle of +Burgundy from a voluminous pocket in his coat tails. "Ha! _le +bonhomme!_" cried the incorrigible wife, "he would first see which +demoiselle it was before he presented the bottle!" Hubby appeared to be +slightly discomfited at this and beat a hasty retreat. + +And one day "Alice," whose baby I had doctored, arrived, and even she, +difficult as she found it to make both ends meet, had not come without +something. As she left she produced a little packet of lace wrapped in +newspaper, which she deposited on my bed with tears in her eyes. + +I used to lie awake at nights and wonder about those artificial legs, +just what they were like, and how much one would be able to cope with +them. It was a great pastime! Now that I really know what they _are_ +like it seems particularly humorous that I thought one would even sleep +in them. My great idea was to have the whole thing clamped on and keep +it there, and not tell anyone about it! Little did I know then what a +relief it is to get them off. One can only comfort oneself on these +occasions with the ancient jest that it is "the first seven years that +are the worst!" + +It is surprising how the illusions about artificial legs get knocked on +the head one by one. I discussed it with someone at Roehampton later. I +thought at least I should have jointed toes! An enterprising French firm +sent me a booklet about them one day. That really did bring things home +to me and I cried for the first time. + +My visitors varied in the social scale from French guttersnipes +(Jean-Marie, who had been wont to have my old boots, etc.), to +brigadier-generals. One afternoon Corporal Coy dropped in to enquire how +I was. As he remarked cheerfully, "It would have fair turned me up if +_you'd_ come round to the mortuary, miss!" + +He then settled himself comfortably in the armchair and proceeded to +entertain me. I only wished it didn't hurt so much to laugh. I asked him +if he had any new songs, and he accordingly gave me a selection _sotto +voce_. He would stop occasionally and say, "Noa, I can't sing you that +verse, it's too bad, aye, but it's a pity!" and shaking his head +mournfully he would proceed with the next! + +He was just in the middle of another when the door opened suddenly and +Sir A---- S---- (Inspector-General of Medical Services) was ushered in +by the Colonel. (The little corporal positively faded out of existence!) +I might add he was nearly if not quite as entertaining. + +"Nobby" Clark, a scion of the Labour Battalion, was another visitor who +called one afternoon, and I got permission for him to come up. He was +one of the local comedians and quite as good as any professional. I +would have gone miles to hear him. His famous monologue with his +imaginary friend "Linchpin" invariably brought the house down. He was +broad Lancashire and I had had a great idea of taking him off at one of +the FANTASTIK Concerts some time, but unfortunately, it was not to be. +He came tiptoeing in. "I thought I might take the liberty of coming to +enquire after you," he said, twisting his cap at the bottom of my bed (I +had learnt by this time to keep both hands hidden from sight as a hearty +shake is a jarring event). I asked him to sit down. "Bein' as you might +say fellow artistes; 'aving appeared so often on the same platform, I +had to come," he said affably! "I promised 'the boys' (old labour men of +about fifty and sixty years) I'd try and get a glimpse of you," he +continued, and he sat there and told me all the funny things he could +think of, or rather, they merely bubbled forth naturally. + +The weather--it was June then--got fearfully hot, and I found life +irksome to a degree, lying flat on my back unable to move, gazing at the +wonderful glass candelabra hanging from the middle of the ceiling. How I +wished each little crystal could tell me a story of what had happened in +this room where fortunes had been lost and won! It would have passed the +time at least. + +A friend had a periscope made for me, a most ingenious affair, through +which I was able to see people walking on the sands, and above all +horses being taken out for exercise in the mornings. + +The first W.A.A.C.s came out to France about this time, and I watched +them with interest through my periscope. I heard that a sand-bagged +dug-out had also been made for us in camp, and tin hats handed out; a +wise precaution in view of the bricks and shrapnel that rattled about +when we went out during air raids. I never saw the dug-out of course. We +had a mild air-raid one night, but no damage was done. + +My faithful friends kept me well posted with all the news, and I often +wonder on looking back if it had not been for them how ever I could have +borne life. The leg still jumped when I least expected it, and of course +I was never out of actual pain for a minute. + +One day, it was June then, the dressings were done at least an hour +earlier than usual, and the Colonel came in full of importance and +ordered the other two beds to be taken out of the ward. The Sister +could get nothing out of him for a long time. All he would say was that +the French Governor-General was going to give me the freedom of the +city! She knew he was only ragging and got slightly exasperated. At +last, as a great secret, he whispered to me that I was going to be +decorated with the French _Croix de Guerre_ and silver star. I was +dumbfounded for some minutes, and then concluded it was another joke and +paid no more attention. But the room was being rapidly cleared and I was +more and more puzzled. He arranged the vases of flowers where he thought +they showed to the best advantage, and seemed altogether in extremely +good form. + +At last he became serious and assured us that what he had said was +perfectly true. The mere thought of such an event happening made me feel +quite sick and faint, it was so overwhelming. + +The Colonel offered to bet me a box of chocolates the General would +embrace me, as is the custom in France on these occasions, and the +suggestion only added to my fright! + +About 11 o'clock as he had said, General Ditte, the governor of the +town, was announced, and in he marched, followed by his two +aides-de-camp in full regalia, the English Base Commandant and Staff +Captain, the Colonel of the hospital, the Belgian General and his two +aides-de-camp, as well as some French naval officers and attachés. Boss, +Eva, and the Sister were the only women present. The little room seemed +full to overflowing, and I wondered if at the supreme moment I would +faint or weep or be sick, or do something similarly foolish. The General +himself was so moved, however, while he read the "citation," and so were +all the rest, that that fact alone seemed to lend me courage. He turned +half way through to one of the aides-de-camp, who fumbled about (like +the best man at a wedding for the ring!) and finally, from his last +pocket, produced the little green case containing the _Croix de Guerre_. + +The supreme moment had arrived. The General's fingers trembled as he +lifted the medal from its case and walked forward to pin it on me. +Instead of wearing the usual "helpless" shirt, I had been put into some +of the afore-mentioned Paris frillies for the great occasion, and +suddenly I saw two long skewer-like prongs, like foreign medals always +have, bearing slowly down upon me! "Heavens," I thought, "I shall be +harpooned for a certainty!" Obviously the rest of the room thought so +too, and they all waited expectantly. It was a tense moment--something +had to be done and done quickly. An inspiration came to me. Just in the +nick of time I seized an unembroidered bit firmly between the finger and +thumb of both hands and held it a safe distance from me for the medal to +be fixed; the situation was saved. A sigh of relief (or was it +disappointment?) went up as the General returned to finish the citation, +and contrary to expectation he had not kissed me! He confided to someone +later I looked so white he was afraid I might faint. (It was a pity +about that box of chocolates, I felt!) + +Two large tears rolled down his cheeks as he finished, and then came +forward to shake hands; after that they all followed suit and I held on +to the bed with the other, for in the fullness of their hearts they gave +a jolly good shake! + +I was tremendously proud of my medal--a plain cross of bronze, with +crossed swords behind, made from captured enemy guns, with the silver +star glittering on the green and red ribbon above. It all seemed like a +dream, I could not imagine it really belonged to me. + +I was at the Casino nearly two months before I was sent to England in a +hospital ship. It was a very sad day for me when I had to say goodbye to +my many friends. Johnson and Marshall, the two mechanics, came up the +day before to bid goodbye, the former bringing a wonderful paper knife +that he had been engaged in making for weeks past. A F.A.N.Y button was +at the end of the handle, and the blade and rivets were composed of +English, French, and Boche shells, and last, but by no means least, he +had "sweated" on a ring from one of Susan's plugs! That pleased me more +than anything else could have done, and I treasure that paper knife +among my choicest souvenirs. Nearly all the F.A.N.Y.s came down the +night before I left, and I felt I'd have given all I possessed to stay +with them, in spite of the hard work and discomfort, so aptly described +in a parody of one of Rudyard Kipling's poems: + +THE F.A.N.Y. + + I wish my mother could see me now with a grease-gun under my car, + Filling my differential, ere I start for the camp afar, + Atop of a sheet of frozen iron, in cold that'd make you cry. + "Why do we do it?" you ask. "Why? We're the F.A.N.Y." + I used to be in Society--once; + Danced, hunted, and flirted--once; + Had white hands and complexion--once: + Now I'm an F.A.N.Y. + + That is what we are known as, that is what you must call, + If you want "Officers' Luggage," "Sisters," "Patients" an' all, + "Details for Burial Duty," "Hospital Stores" or "Supply," + Ring up the ambulance convoy, + "Turn out the F.A.N.Y." + They used to say we were idling--once; + Joy-riding round the battle-field--once; + Wasting petrol and carbide--once: + Now we're the F.A.N.Y. + + That is what we are known as; we are the children to blame, + For begging the loan of a spare wheel, and fitting a car to the same; + We don't even look at a workshop, but the Sergeant comes up with a sigh: + "It's no use denyin' 'em _nothin_'! + Give it the F.A.N.Y." + We used to fancy an air raid--once; + Called it a bit of excitement--once; + Prided ourselves on our tin-hats once: + Now we're the F.A.N.Y. + + That is what we are known as; we are the girls who have been + Over three years at the business; felt it, smelt it and seen. + Remarkably quick to the dug-out now, when the Archies rake the sky; + Till they want to collect the wounded, then it's + "Out with the F.A.N.Y." + "Crank! crank! you Fannies; + Stand to your 'buses again; + Snatch up the stretchers and blankets, + Down to the barge through the rain." + Up go the 'planes in the dawning; + 'Phone up the cars to "Stand by." + There's many a job with the wounded: + "Forward, the F.A.N.Y." + +I dreaded the journey over, and, though the sea for some time past had +been as smooth as glass, quite a storm got up that evening. All the +orderlies who had waited on me came in early next morning to bid +goodbye, and Captain C. carried me out of my room and downstairs to the +hall. I insisted on wearing my F.A.N.Y. cap and tunic to look as if +nothing was the matter, and once more I was on a stretcher. A bouquet of +red roses arrived from the French doctor just before I was carried out +of the hall, so that I left in style! It was an early start, for I was +to be on board at 7 a.m., before the ship was loaded up from the train. +Eva drove me down in her ambulance and absolutely crawled along, so +anxious was she to avoid all bumps. One of the sisters came with me and +was to cross to Dover as well (since the Boche had not even respected +hospital ships, sisters only went over with special cases). + +It struck me as odd that all the trees were out; they were only in bud +when I last saw them. + +Many of the French people we passed waved adieu, and I saw them +explaining to their friends in pantomime just what had happened. On the +way to the ship I lost my leg at least four times over! + +The French Battery had been told I was leaving, and was out in full +force, and I stopped to say goodbye and thank them for all they had done +and once again wave farewell--so different from the last time! They were +deeply moved, and followed with the doctor to the quay where they stood +in a row wiping their eyes. I almost felt as if I was at my own +funeral! + +The old stretcher-bearers were so anxious not to bump me that they were +clumsier in their nervousness than I had ever seen them! As I was pulled +out I saw that many of my friends, English, French, and Belgian, had +come down to give me a send off. They stood in absolute silence, and +again I felt as if I was at my own funeral. As I was borne down the +gangway into the ship I could bear it no longer, and pulled off my cap +and waved it in farewell. It seemed to break the spell, and they all +called out "Goodbye, good luck!" as I was borne round the corner out of +sight to the little cabin allotted me. + +Several of them came on board after, which cheered me tremendously. I +was very keen to have Eva with me as far as Dover, but, unfortunately, +official permission had been refused. The captain of the ship, however, +was a tremendous sportsman and said: "Of course, if my ship starts and +you are carried off by mistake, Miss Money, you can't expect me to put +back into port again, and _I_ shan't have seen you," he added with a +twinkle in his eye as he left us. You may be sure Eva was just too late +to land! He came along when we were under way and feigned intense +surprise. As a matter of fact he was tremendously bucked and said since +his ship had been painted grey instead of white and he had been given a +gun he was no longer a "hospital," but a "wounded transport," and +therefore was within the letter of the law to take a passenger if he +wanted to. The cabin was on deck and had been decorated with flowers in +every available space. The crossing, as luck would have it, was fairly +rough, and one by one the vases were pitched out of their stands on to +the floor. It was a tremendous comfort to me to have old Eva there. Of +course it leaked out as these things will, and there was even the +question of quite a serious row over it, but as the captain and everyone +else responsible had "positively not seen her," there was no one to +swear she had not overstayed her time and been carried off by mistake! +At Dover I had to say goodbye to her, the sister, and the kindly +captain, and very lonely I felt as my stretcher was placed on a trolley +arrangement and I was pushed up to the platform along an asphalt +gangway. The orderlies kept calling me "Sir," which was amusing. "Your +kit is in the front van, sir," and catching sight of my face, "I +mean--er--Miss, Gor'blimee! well, that's the limit!" and words failed +them. + +I was put into a ward on the train all by myself. I didn't care for that +train much, it stopped and started with such jolts, otherwise it was +quite comfy, and all the orderlies came in and out on fictitious errands +to have a look and try and get me anything I wanted. The consequence was +I had no less than three teas, two lots of strawberries, and a pile of +books and periodicals I could never hope to read! I had had lunch on +board when we arrived at one o'clock, before I was taken off. The +reason the journey took so long was that the loading and unloading of +stretchers from ship to train is a lengthy job and cannot be hustled. We +got to London about five. The E.M.O. was a cheery soul and came and +shook hands with me, and then, joy of joys, got four stretcher-bearers +to take me to an ambulance. With four to carry you there is not the +slightest movement, but with two there is the inevitable up and down +jog; only those who have been through it will know what I mean. I had +got Eva to wire to some friends, also to Thompson, the section leader +who was on leave, and by dint of Sherlock Holmes stunts they had +discovered at what station I was arriving. It was cheering to see some +familiar faces, but the ambulance only stopped for a moment, and there +was no time to say anything. + +As I was driven out of the station--it was Charing Cross--the old flower +women were loud in their exclamations. "Why, it's a dear little girl!" +cried one, and she bombarded Thompson with questions. (I felt the +complete fool!) "Bin drivin' the boys, 'as she? Bless 'er," and they ran +after the car, throwing in whole bunches of roses galore! I could have +hugged them for it, dear fat old things! They did their bit as much as +any of them, and never failed to throw their choicest roses to "the +boys" in the ambulances as they were driven slowly past. + +My troubles, I am sorry to say, began from then onwards. England seemed +quite unprepared for anything so unorthodox, and the general impression +borne in on me was that I was a complete nuisance. There was no +recognized hospital for "the likes of us" to go to, and I was taken to a +civilian one where war-work seemed entirely at a discount. I was carried +to a lift and jerked up to the top floor by a housemaid, when I was put +on a trolley and taken into a ward full of people. A sister came +forward, but there was no smile on her face and not one word of welcome, +and I began to feel rather chilled. "Put the case there," she said, +indicating an empty bed, and the "case," feeling utterly miserable and +dejected, was deposited! The rattle and noise of that ward was such a +contrast to my quiet little room in France (rather humorous this) that I +woke with a jump whenever I closed my eyes. + +Presently the matron made her rounds, and very luckily found there was a +vacant room, and I was taken into it forthwith. There was a notice +painted on the wall opposite to the effect that the bed was "given in +remembrance" of the late so-and-so of so-and-so--with date and year of +death, etc. I can see it now. If only it had been on the door outside +for the benefit of the visitors! It had the result of driving "the case" +almost to the verge of insanity. I could say the whole thing backwards +when I'd been in the room half an hour, not to mention the number of +letters and the different words one could make out of it! There was no +other picture in the room, as the walls were of some concrete stuff, so, +try as one would, it was impossible not to look at it. "Did he die in +this bed?" I asked interestedly of the sister, nodding in the direction +of the "In Memoriam."--"I'm sure I don't know," said she, eyeing me +suspiciously. "We have enough to do without bothering about things like +that," and she left the room. I began to feel terribly lonely; how I +missed all my friends and the cheerful, jolly orderlies in France! The +frowsy housemaid who brought up my meals was anything but inspiring. My +dear little "helpless" shirt was taken away and when I was given a good +stuff nightdress in its place, I felt my last link with France had gone! + +The weather--it was July then--got terribly hot, and I lay and +sweltered. It was some relief to have all bandages removed from my right +leg. + +There were mews somewhere in the vicinity, and I could smell the horses +and even hear them champing in their stalls! I loved that, and would lie +with my eyes shut, drinking it in, imagining I was back in the stables +in far away Cumberland, sitting on the old corn bin listening to Jimmy +Jardine's wonderful tales of how the horses "came back" to him in the +long ago days of his youth. When they cleaned out the stables I had my +window pulled right up! "Fair sick it makes me," called my neighbour +from the next room, but I was quite happy. Obviously everyone can't be +satisfied in this world! + +The doctor was of the "bluff and hearty" species and, on entering the +first morning, had exclaimed, in a hail-fellow-well-met tone, "So you're +the young lady who's had her leg chopped off, are you? ha, ha!" Hardly +what one might call tactful, what? I withdrew my hand and put it behind +my back. In time though we became fairly good friends, but how I longed +to be back in France again! + +Being a civilian hospital they were short-staffed. "Everyone seems mad +on war work," said one sister to me peevishly, "they seem to forget +there are civilians to nurse," and she flounced out of the room. + +A splendid diversion was caused one day when the Huns came over in full +force (thirty to forty Gothas) in a daylight raid. I was delighted! This +was something I really _did_ understand. It was topping to hear the guns +blazing away once more. Everyone in the place seemed to be ringing their +electric bells, and, afraid I might miss something, I put my finger on +mine and held it there. Presently the matron appeared: "You can't be +taken to the cellar," she said, "it's no good being nervous, you're as +safe here as anywhere!" "It wasn't that," I said, "I wondered if I might +have a wheel chair and go along the corridor to see them." "Rubbish," +said she, "I never heard of such a thing," and she hurried on to quiet +the patient in the next room. But by dint of screwing myself half on to +a chair near the window I did just get a glimpse of the sky and saw +about five of the Huns manoeuvring. Good business! + +One of the things I suffered from most, was visitors whom I had never +seen in my life before. There would be a tap at the door; enter lady, +beautifully dressed and a large smile. The opening sentence was +invariably the same. "You won't know who I am, but I'm Lady L----, Miss +so-and-so's third cousin. She told me all about you, and I thought I +really _must_ come and have a peep." Enters and subsides into chair near +bed smiling sweetly, and in nine cases out of ten jiggles toes against +it, which jars one excessively. "You must have suffered _terribly_! I +hear your leg was absolutely _crushed_! And now tell me all about it! +Makes you rather sick to talk of it? Fancy that! Conscious all the time, +dear me! What you must have gone _through_! (Leg gives one of its +jumps.) Whatever was that? Only keeping your knee from getting stiff, +how funny! _Lovely_ having the _Croix de Guerre_. Quite makes up for it. +What? Rather have your _leg_. Dear me, how odd! Wonderful what they do +with those artificial limbs nowadays. Know a man and really you can't +tell _which_ is which. (Naturally not, any fool could make a leg the +shape of the other!) Well, I really _must_ be going. I shall be able to +tell all my friends I've _seen_ you now and been able to cheer you up a +little. _Poor_ girl! _So_ unfortunate! Terribly cheerful, aren't you? +Don't seem to mind a bit. Would you kindly ring for the lift? I find +these stairs _so trying_. I've enjoyed myself so much. Goodbye." Exit +(goodby-ee). In its way it was amusing at first, but one day I sent for +the small porter, Tommy, aged twelve (I had begun to sympathise with +the animals in the Zoo). "Tommy," I said, "if you _dare_ to let anyone +come up and see me unless they're _personal_ friends, you won't get that +shell head I promised you. Don't be put off, make them describe me. +You'll be sorry if you don't." + +Tremendous excitement one day when I went out for my first drive in a +car sent from the Transport Department of the Red Cross. Two of the +nurses came with me, and I was lifted in by the stalwart driver. "A +quiet drive round the park, I suppose, Miss?" he asked. "No," I said +firmly, "down Bond Street and then round and round Piccadilly Circus +first, and then the Row to watch the people riding" (an extremely +entertaining pastime). He had been in the Argentine and "knew a horse if +he saw one," and no mistake. + +The next day a huge gilded basket of blue hydrangeas arrived from the +"bird" flower shop in Bond Street, standing at least three feet high, +the sole inscription on the card being, "From the Red Cross driver." It +was lovely and I was extremely touched; my room for the time being was +transformed. + +I was promised a drive once a week, but they were unfortunately +suspended as I had an operation on July 31st for the jumping sciatic +nerve and once more was reduced to lying flat on my back. There was a +man over the mews who beat his wife regularly twice per week, or else +_she_ beat him. I could never discover which, and used to lie staring +into the darkness listening to the "sounds of revelry by night," not to +mention the choicest flow of language floating up into the air. I was +measured for a pair of crutches some time later by a lugubrious +individual in a long black frock coat looking like an undertaker. I +objected to the way he treated me, as if I were already a "stiff," +ignoring me completely, saying to the nurse: "Kindly put the case +absolutely flat and full length," whereupon he solemnly produced a tape +measure! + +I was moved to a nursing home for the month of August, as the hospital +closed for cleaning, and there, quite forgetting to instruct the people +about strangers, I was beset by another one afternoon. A cousin who has +been gassed and shell-shocked had come in to read to me. There was a tap +on the door. "Mrs. Fierce," announced the porter, and in sailed a lady +whom I had never seen in my life before. (I want the readers of these +"glimpses" to know that the following conversation is absolutely as it +took place and has not been exaggerated or added to in the very least.) + +She began with the old formula. "You won't know me, etc., but I'm +so-and-so." She did not pause for breath, but went straight ahead. "It's +the second time I've been to call on you," she said, in an aggrieved +voice. "I came three weeks ago when you were at ---- Hospital. You had +_just_ had an operation and were coming round, and would you believe it, +though I had come _all_ the way from West Kensington, they wouldn't let +me come up and see you--positively _rude_ the boy was at the door." (I +uttered a wordless prayer for Tommy!) + +"It was very kind of you," I murmured, "but I hardly think you would +have liked to see me just then; I wasn't looking my best. Chloroform has +become one of my _bêtes noires_." "Oh, I shouldn't have minded," said +the lady; "I thought it was so inconsiderate of them not to let me up. +So sad for you, you lost your _foot_," she chattered on, eyeing the +cradle with interest. I winked at my cousin, a low habit but excusable +on occasions. We did not enlighten her it was more than the foot. Then I +was put through the usual inquisition, except that it was if possible a +little more realistic than usual. "Did it bleed?" she asked with gusto. +I began to enjoy myself (one gets hardened in time). "Fountains," I +replied, "the ground is still discoloured, and though they have dug it +over several times it's no good--it's like Rizzio's blood at Holyrood, +the stain simply won't go away!" My cousin hastily sneezed. "How very +curious," said the lady, "so interesting to hear all these details +_first_ hand! Young man," and she fixed Eric with her lorgnettes, "have +_you_ been wounded--I see _no_ stripe on your arm?" and she eyed him +severely. Now E. has always had a bit of a stammer, but at times it +becomes markedly worse. We were both enjoying ourselves tremendously: +"N-n-n-no," he replied, "s-s-s-shell s-s-s-shock!" + +"Dear me, however did _that_ happen?" she asked. "I w-w-was b-b-b-blown +i-i-i-into t-t-t-the air," he replied, smiling sweetly. + +"How high?" asked the lady, determined to get to the bottom of it, and +not at all sure in her own mind he wasn't a conscientious objector +masquerading in uniform. "As all t-t-the other m-m-men were k-k-killed +b-b-b-by t-t-t-the same s-s-shell, t-t-there was n-n-no one t-t-there +t-t-t-to c-c-c-count," he replied modestly. (I knew the whole story of +how he had been left for two whole days in No-man's-land, with Boche +shells dropping round the place where he was lying, and could have +killed her cheerfully if the whole thing had not been so funny.) + +Having gleaned more lurid details with which we all too willingly +supplied her, she finally departed. + +"Fierce by name and fierce by nature," I said, as the door closed. "I +wonder sometimes if those women spend all their time rushing from bed to +bed asking the men to describe all they've been through--I feel like +writing to _John Bull_ about it," I added, "but I don't believe the +average person would believe it. Tact seems to be a word unknown in some +vocabularies." The cream of the whole thing was that, not content with +the information she had gleaned, when she got downstairs, she asked to +see my nurse. The poor thing was having tea at the time, but went +running down in case it was something important. + +"Will you tell me," said Mrs. F. confidentially, "if that young man is +engaged to Miss B.?" (The "young man," I might add, has a very charming +fiancée of his own), and how we all laughed when she came up with the +news! + +The faithful "Wuzzy" had been confided to the care of a friend at the +Remount Camp, and I was delighted to get some snaps of him taken by a +Frenchman at Neuve-Chapelle--I felt my "idiot son" was certainly seeing +life! "In reply to your question" (said my friend in a letter), "as to +whether I have discovered Wuzzy's particular 'trait' yet, the answer as +far as I can make out appears to be 'chickens'!" + +In time I began to get about on crutches, and the question next arose +where I was to go and convalesce, and the then strange, but now all too +familiar phrase was first heard. "If you were only a man, of course it +would be _so_ easy." As if it was _my_ fault I wasn't? It was no good +protesting I had always wished I had been one; it did not help matters +at all. + +I came to the conclusion there were too many women in England. If I had +only been a Boche girl now I might at least have had several Donnington +Halls put at my disposal! I was finally sent to Brighton, and thanks to +Lady Dudley's kindness, became an out-patient of one of her officers' +hospitals, but even then it was a nuisance being a girl. Another +disadvantage was that all the people treated me as if I was a strange +animal from the Zoo; men on crutches had become unfortunately a too +familiar sight, but a F.A.N.Y. was something quite new, and therefore an +object to be stared at. Some days I felt quite brazen, but others I went +out for about five minutes and returned, refusing to move for the rest +of the day. It would have been quite different if several F.A.N.Y.s had +been in a similar plight, but alone, one gets tired of being gaped at as +a _rara avis_. + +The race meetings were welcome events and great sport, to which we all +went with gusto. I fell down one day on the Parade, getting into my bath +chair. It gave me quite a jar, but it must be got over some time as a +lesson, for of course I put out the leg that wasn't there and went smack +on the asphalt! One learns in time to remember these details. + +It was ripping to see friends from France who ran down for the day, and +when the F.A.N.Y.s came over, how eagerly I listened to all the news! +The lines from one of our songs often rang through my brain: + + "On the sandy shores of France + Looking Blighty-wards to sea, + There's a little camp a-sitting + And it's all the world to me-- + For the cars are gently humming, + And the 'phone bell's ringing yet, + Come up, you British Convoy, + Come ye up to Fontinettes-- + On the road to Fontinettes + Where the trains have to be met; + Can't you hear the cars a-chunking + Through the Rue to Fontinettes? + + "On the road to Fontinettes + Where the stretcher-bearers sweat, + And the cars come up in convoy, + From the camp to Fontinettes. + + "For 'er uniform is khaki, + And 'er little car is green, + And 'er name is only FANNY + (And she's not exactly clean!) + And I see'd 'er first a'smoking + Of a ration cigarette. + And a'wasting army petrol + Cleaning clothes, 'cos she's in debt." + On the road to Fontinettes, etc. + +I longed to be back so much sometimes that it amounted almost to an +ache! This, and the fact of being the only one, I feel sure partly +accounted for it that I became ill. According to the doctor I ought to +have been in a proper hospital, and then once again the difficulty arose +of finding one to go to. Boards and committees sat on me figuratively +and almost literally, too, but could come to no conclusion. Though I +could be in a military hospital in France it was somehow not to be +thought of in England. Finally I heard a W.A.A.C.'s ward had been opened +in London at a military hospital run by women doctors for Tommies, and I +promptly sat down and applied for admittance. Yes, I could go there, and +so at the end of November, I found myself once more back in London. I +was in a little room--a W.A.A.C. officers' ward, on the same floor as +the medical ward for W.A.A.C. privates. I met them at the concerts that +were often given in the recreation room, and they were extremely kind +to me. I was amused to hear them discussing their length of active +service. One who could boast of six months was decidedly the nut of the +party! We had a great many air raids, and were made to go down to the +ground floor, which annoyed me intensely. I hated turning out, apart +from the cold; it seemed to be giving in to the Boche to a certain +extent. + +I loved my charlady. She was the nearest approach to the cheery +orderlies of those far away days in France, I had struck since I came +over. Her smiling face, as she appeared at the door every morning with +broom and coalscuttle, was a tonic in itself. I used to keep her talking +just as long as I could--she was so exceedingly alive. + +"Do I mind the air rides, Miss? Lor' bless you no--nothin' I like better +than to 'ear the guns bangin' awy. If it wasn't for the childer I'd fair +enjoy it--we lives up 'hIslington wy, and the first sounds of firing I +wrep them up, and we all goes to the church cryp and sings 'ims with the +parson's wife a'plying. Grand it is, almost as good as a revival +meeting!" + +(One in the eye for Fritz what?) + +I asked her, as it was getting near Christmas, if she would let me take +her two little girls (eight and twelve respectively) to see a children's +fairy play. She was delighted. They had never been to a theatre at all, +and were waiting for me one afternoon outside the hospital gates, very +clean and smiling, and absolutely dancing with excitement. I was of +course on crutches, and as it was a greasy, slippery day, looked about +for a taxi. It was hopeless, and without a word the elder child ran off +to get one. The way she nipped in and out of the traffic was positively +terrifying, but she returned triumphant in the short space of five +minutes, and we were soon at the door of the theatre. + +I had to explain that the wicked fairies leaping so realistically from +Pandora's box weren't real at all, but I'm sure I did not convince the +smaller one, who was far too shy and excited to utter a word beyond a +startled whisper: "Yes, Miss," or "No, Miss." There were wails in the +audience when the witch appeared, and several small boys near us doubled +under their seats in terror, like little rabbits going to earth, +refusing to come out again, poor little pets! + +In the interval the two children watched the orchestra with wide-eyed +interest. "I guess that guy wot's wyving 'is arms abaht like that +(indicating the conductor) must be getting pretty tired," said the elder +to me. I felt he would have been gratified to know there was someone who +sympathised! + +Altogether it was a most entertaining afternoon, and when we came out in +the dark and rain the eldest again slipped off to get a taxi, dodging +cabs and horses with the dexterity of an acrobat. + +Christmas came round, and there was tremendous competition between the +different wards, which vied with each other over the most original +decorations. + +At midday I was asked into the W.A.A.C.'s ward, where we had roast beef +and plum pudding. The two women doctors who ran the hospital visited +every ward and drank a toast after lunch. I don't know what they toasted +in the men's wards, but in the W.A.A.C.'s it was roughly, "To the women +of England, and the W.A.A.C.s who would win the war, etc." It seemed too +bad to leave out the men who were in the trenches, so I drank one +privately to them on my own. + +As I sat in my little ward that night I thought of the happy times we +had had last Christmas in the convoy, only a short year before. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +ROEHAMPTON: "BOB" THE GREY, AND THE ARMISTICE + +After Christmas it was thought I was well enough to be fitted with an +artificial limb, and in due course I applied to the limbless hospital at +Roehampton. The reply came back in a few days. + + "DEAR SIR, (I groaned), + + "You must apply to so-and-so and we will then be able to + give you a bed in a fortnight's time, etc. + + _Signed_: "SISTER D." + +My heart sank. I was up against the old question again, and in +desperation I wrote back: + + "DEAR MADAM, + + "My trouble is that I am a girl, etc." + +and poured forth all my woes on the subject. Sister D., who proved to be +an absolute topper, was considerably amused and wrote back most +sympathetically. She promised to do all she could for me and told the +surgeon the whole story, and it was arranged for him to see me and +advise what type of leg I had better wear and then decide where I was to +be put up later. He was most kind, but I returned from the interview +considerably depressed for, before I could wear an artificial leg, +another operation had to be performed. It took place at the military +hospital in January and I felt I should have to hurry in order to be +"doing everything as usual" by the time the year was up, as Captain C. +had promised. + +For some reason, when I came round I found myself in the big W.A.A.C.s' +ward, and never returned to my little room again. I did not mind the +change so much except for the noise and the way the whole room vibrated +whenever anyone walked or ran past my bed. They nearly always did the +latter, for they were none of them very ill. The building was an old +workhouse which had been condemned just before the war, and the floor +bent and shook at the least step. I found this particularly trying as +the incision a good six inches long had been made just behind my knee, +and naturally, as it rested on a pillow, I felt each vibration. + +The sheets were hard to the touch and grey in colour even when clean, +and the rows of scarlet blankets were peculiarly blinding. I realised +the meaning of the saying: "A red rag to a bull," and had every sympathy +with the animal! (It was so humorous to look at things from a patient's +point of view.) It had always been our ambition at Lamarck to have red +top blankets on every bed in our wards. "They make the place look so +bright and cheerful!" I daresay these details would have passed +unnoticed in the ordinary way, but I had already had eight months of +hospitals, during which time I had hardly ever been out of pain, and all +I craved was quiet and rest. Some of the women doctors were terribly +sarcastic. + +We were awakened at 5 a.m. as per hospital routine (how often I had been +loth to waken the patients at Lamarck), and most of the W.A.A.C.s got up +and dressed, the ones who were not well enough remaining in bed. At six +o'clock we had breakfast, and one of them pushed a trolly containing +slices of bread and mugs of tea from bed to bed. It rattled like a +pantechnicon and shook the whole place, and I hated it out of all +proportion. The ward was swept as soon as breakfast was over. How I +dreaded that performance! I lay clenching the sides of the bed in +expectation; for as surely as fate the sweeping W.A.A.C. caught her +brush firmly in one of the legs. "Sorry, miss, did it ketch you?" she +would exclaim, "there, I done it agin; drat this broom!" + +There were two other patients in the room who relished the quiet in the +afternoons when most of the W.A.A.C.s went out on pass. One of them was +a sister from the hospital, and the other a girl suffering from cancer, +both curtained off in distant corners. "Now for a sleep, sister," I +would call, as the last one departed, but as often as not just as we +were dropping off a voice would rouse us, saying: "Good afternoon, I've +just come in to play the piano to you for a little," and without waiting +for a reply a cheerful lady would sit down forthwith and bang away +virtuously for an hour! + +We had had a good many air raids before Christmas and I hoped Fritz +would reserve his efforts in that direction till I could go about on +crutches again. No such luck, however, for at 10 o'clock one night the +warnings rang out. I trusted, as I had had my operations so recently, I +should be allowed to remain; but some shrapnel had pierced the roof of +the ward in a former raid and everyone had to be taken down willy-nilly. +I hid under the sheets, making myself as flat as possible in the hopes +of escaping. I was discovered of course and lifted into a wheel chair +and taken down in the lift to the Padre's room, where all the W.A.A.C.s +were already assembled. Our guns were blazing away quite heartily, the +"London front" having recently been strengthened. Just as I got down, +the back wheel of my chair collapsed, which was cheering! + +We sat there for some time listening to the din. Everyone was feeling +distinctly peevish, and not a few slightly "breezy," as it was quite a +bad raid. I wondered what could be done to liven up the proceedings, and +presently espied a pile of hymn-books which I solemnly handed out, +choosing "Onward Christian Soldiers" as the liveliest selection! I could +not help wondering what the distant F.A.N.Y.s would have thought of the +effort. In the middle of "Greenland's spicy mountains," one W.A.A.C. +varied the proceedings by throwing a fit, and later on another fainted; +beyond that nothing of any moment happened till the firing, punctuated +by the dropping bombs, became so loud that every other sound was +drowned. Some of the W.A.A.C.s were convinced we were all "for it" and +would be burnt to death, but I assured them as my chair had broken, and +I had no crutches even if I could use them, I should be burnt to a +cinder long before any of them! This seemed to comfort them to a certain +extent. I could tell by the sound of the bombs as they exploded that the +Gothas could not be far away; and then, suddenly, we heard the engines +quite plainly, and there was a terrific rushing sound I knew only too +well. The crash came, but, though the walls rocked and the windows +rattled in their sockets, they did not fall. + +Above the din we heard a woman's piercing scream, "Oh God, I'm burning!" +as she ran down the street. Simultaneously the reflection of a red glare +played on the walls opposite. All was confusion outside, and the sound +of rushing feet pierced by screams from injured women and children +filled the air. It was terrible to sit there powerless, unable to do +anything to help. The hospital had just been missed by a miracle, but +some printing offices next door were in flames, and underneath was a +large concrete dug-out holding roughly 150 people. What the total +casualties were I never heard. Luckily a ward had just been evacuated +that evening and the wounded and dying were brought in immediately. It +was horrible to see little children, torn and maimed, being carried past +our door into the ward. The hum of the Gotha's engines could still be +heard quite distinctly. + +Sparks flew past the windows, but thanks to the firemen who were on the +spot almost immediately, the fire was got under and did not spread to +the hospital. + +It was a terrible night! How I longed to be able to give the Huns a +taste of their own medicine! + +The "All clear" was not sounded till 3 a.m. Many of the injured died +before morning, after all that was humanly possible had been done for +them. I heard some days later that a discharged soldier, who had been in +the dug-out when the bomb fell, was nearly drowned by the floods of +water from the hoses, and was subsequently brought round by artificial +respiration. He was heard to exclaim: "Humph, first they wounds me aht +in France, then they tries to drown me in a bloomin' air raid!" + +There was one W.A.A.C.--Smith we will call her--who could easily have +made her fortune on the stage, she was so clever at imitations. She +would "take you off" to your face and make you laugh in spite of +yourself. She was an East-ender and witty in the extreme, warm of heart +but exceedingly quick-tempered. I liked her tremendously, she was so +utterly alive and genuine. + +One night I was awakened from a doze by a tremendous hubbub going on in +the ward. Raising myself on an elbow I saw Smith shaking one of the +W.A.A.C.s, who was hanging on to a bed for support, as a terrier might a +rat. + +"You would, would you?" I heard her exclaim. "Sy it againe, yer +white-ficed son of a gun yer!" and she shook her till her teeth +chattered. I never found out what the "white-ficed" one had said, but +she showed no signs of repeating the offence. I felt as if I was in the +gallery at Drury Lane and wanted to shout, "Go on, 'it 'er," but just +restrained myself in time! + +A girl orderly was despatched in haste for one of the head doctors, and +I awaited her arrival with interest, wondering just how she would deal +with the situation. + +However, the "Colonel" apparently thought discretion the better part of +valour, and sent the Sergeant-Major--the only man on the staff--to cope +with the delinquent. I was fearfully disappointed. Smith checkmated him +splendidly by retiring into the bath where she sat soaking for two +hours. What was the poor man to do? It was getting late, and for all he +knew she might elect to stay there all night. He knew of no precedent +and ran in and out of the ward, flapping his arms in a helpless manner. +I felt Smith had decidedly won the day. Imagine an ordinary private +behaving thus! + +There were sudden periodical evacuations of the ward, and one day I was +told my bed would be required for a more urgent case--a large convoy was +expected from France and so many beds had to be vacated. Three weeks +after my operation I left the hospital and arranged to stay with friends +in the country. As it was a long railway journey and I was hardly +accustomed to crutches again, I wanted to stay the night in town. +However, one comes up against some extraordinary types of people. For +example, the hotel where my aunt was staying refused to take me in, even +for one night, on the score that "_they_ didn't want any invalids!" I +could not help wondering a little bitterly where these same people would +have been but for the many who were now permanent invalids and for those +others, as Kipling reminds us, "whose death has set us free." I could +not help noticing that at home one either came up against extreme +sympathy and kindness or else utter callousness--there seemed to be no +half-measures. + +In March I again hoped to go to Roehampton, but my luck was dead out. I +could still bear no pressure on the wretched nerve, and another +operation was performed almost immediately. + +The W.A.A.C.s' ward was all very well as an experience, but the noise +and shaking, not to mention the thought of the broom catching my bed +regularly every morning, was too much to face again. The surgeon who was +operating tried to get me into his hospital for officers where there +were several single rooms vacant at the time. + +Vain hope. Again the familiar phrase rang out, and once more I +apologised for being a female, and was obliged to make arrangements to +return to the private nursing home where I had been in August. The year +was up, and here I was still having operations. I was disgusted in the +extreme. + +When I was at last fit to go to Roehampton the question of accommodation +again arose. I never felt so sick in all my life I wasn't a +man--committees and matrons sat and pondered the question. Obviously I +was a terrible nuisance and no one wanted to take any responsibility. +The mother superior of the Sacred Heart Convent at Roehampton heard of +it and asked me to stay there. Though I was not of their faith they +welcomed me as no one else had done since my return, and I was +exceedingly happy with them. It was a change to be really wanted +somewhere. + +In time I got fairly hardened to the stares from passers-by, and it was +no uncommon thing for an absolute stranger to come up and ask, "Have you +lost your leg?" The fact seemed fairly obvious, but still some people +like verbal confirmation of everything. One day in Harrod's, just after +the 1918 push, one florid but obviously sympathetic lady exclaimed, +"Dear me, poor girl, did you lose your leg in the recent push?" It was +then the month of June (some good going to be up on crutches in that +time!) Several staff officers were buying things at the same counter and +turned at her question to hear my reply. "No, not in this _last_ push," +I said, "but the one just before," and moved on. They appeared to be +considerably amused. + +How I loathed crutches! One nightmare in which I often indulged was +that I found, in spite of having lost my leg, I could really walk in +some mysterious way quite well without them. I would set off joyfully, +and then to my horror suddenly discover my plight and fall smack. I woke +to find the nerve had been at its old trick again. Sometimes I was +seized with a panic that when I did get my leg I should not be able to +use it, and worse still, never ride again. That did not bear thinking +of. + +I went to the hospital every day for fittings and at last the day +arrived when I walked along holding on to handrails on each side and +watching my "style" in a glass at the end of the room for the purpose. +My excitement knew no bounds! It was a tedious business at first getting +it to fit absolutely without paining and took some time. I could hear +the men practising walking in the adjoining room to the refrain of the +"Broken Doll," the words being: + + "I only lost my leg a year ago. + I've got a 'Rowley,' now, I'd have you know. + I soon learnt what pain was, I thought I knew, + But now my poor old leg is black, and red, white and blue! + The fitter said, 'You're walking very well,' + I told him he could take his leg to ----, + But they tell me that some day I'll walk right away, + By George! and with my Rowley too!" + +It was at least comforting to know that in time one would! + +Half an hour's fitting was enough to make the leg too tender for +anything more that day, and I discovered to my joy that I was quite +well able to drive a small car with one foot. I was lent a sporting +Morgan tri-car which did more to keep up my spirits than anything else. +The side brake was broken and somehow never got repaired, so the one +foot had quite an exciting time. It was anything but safe, but it did +not matter. One day, driving down the Portsmouth Road with a +fellow-sufferer, a policeman waved his arms frantically in front of us. +"What's happened," I asked my friend, "are we supposed to stop?" "I'm +afraid so," he replied, "I should think we've been caught in a trap." +(One gets into bad habits in France!) + +As we drew up and the policeman saw the crutches, he said: "I'm sorry, +sir, I didn't see your crutches, or I wouldn't have pulled you up." The +friend, who happened to be wearing his leg, said, "Oh, they aren't mine, +they belong to this lady." The good policeman was temporarily +speechless. When at last he got his wind he was full of concern. "You +don't say, sir? Well, I _never_ did. Don't you take on, _we_ won't run +you in, Miss," he added consolingly, turning to me. "I'll fix the +stop-watch man." I was beginning to enjoy myself immensely. He regarded +us for some minutes and made a round of the car. "Well," he said at +last, "_I_ call you a couple o' sports!" We were convulsed! + +At that moment the stop-watch man hurried up, looking very serious, and +I watched the expression on his face change to one of concern as the +policeman told him the tale. + +"We won't run you in, not us," he declared stoutly, in concert with the +policeman. + +"What were we doing?" I asked, as he looked at his stop-watch. + +"Thirty and a fraction over," he replied. "Only thirty!" I exclaimed, in +a disappointed voice, "I thought we were doing _at least_ forty!" + +"First time anyone's ever said that to _me_, Miss," he said; "it's usual +for them to swear it wasn't a mile above twenty!" + +"A couple o' sports," the policeman murmured again. + +"I think _you're_ the couple of sports," I said laughing. + +"Well," said the stop-watch man, lifting his cap, "we won't keep you any +longer, Miss, a pleasant afternoon to you, and (with a knowing look) +there's _nothing_ on the road from here to Cobham!" + +Of course the Morgan broke all records after that! + +Unfortunately, in July, I was obliged to undergo an operation on my +right foot, where it had been injured. By great good luck it was +arranged to be done in the sister's sick ward at the hospital. It was +not successful though, and at the end of August a second was performed, +bringing the total up to six, by which time I loathed chloroform more +than anything else on earth. + +Before I returned to the convent again, the King and Queen with Princess +Mary came down to inspect the hospital. + +It was an imposing picture. The sisters and nurses in their white caps +and aprons lined the steps of the old red-brick, Georgian House, while +on the lawn six to seven hundred limbless Tommies were grouped, forming +a wonderful picture in their hospital blue against the green. + +I was placed with the officers under the beautiful cedar trees and had a +splendid view, while on the left the different limb makers had models of +their legs and arms. The King and Queen were immensely interested and +watched several demonstrations, after which they came and shook each one +of us by hand, speaking a few words. I was immensely struck by the +King's voice and its deep resonant qualities. It is wonderful, in view +of the many thousands he interviews, that to each individual he gives +the impression of a real personal interest. + +I soon returned to the convent, and there in the beautiful gardens +diligently practised walking with the help of two sticks. The joy of +being able to get about again was such that I could have wept. The +Tommies at the hospital took a tremendous interest in my progress. +"Which one is it?" they would call as I went there each morning. "Pick +it up, Miss, pick it up!" (one trails it at first). The fitter was a man +of most wonderful patience and absolutely untiring in his efforts to do +any little thing to ease the fitting. I often wonder he did not brain +his more fussy patients with their wooden legs and have done with it! + +"Got your knee, Miss?" the men would call sometimes. "You're lucky." +When I saw men who had lost an arm and sometimes both legs, from above +the knee too, I realised just how lucky I was. They were all so +splendidly cheerful. I knew too well from my own experience what they +must have gone through; and again I could only pray that something good +would come out of all this untold suffering, and that these men would +not be forgotten by a grateful country when peace reigned once more. + +I often watched them playing bowls on the lawn with a marvellous +dexterity--a one-armed man holding the chair steady for a double +amputation while the latter took his aim. + +I remember seeing a man struggling painfully along with an +above-the-knee leg, obviously his first day out. A group of men watched +his efforts. "Pick it up, Charlie!" they called, "we'll race you to the +cedars!" but Charlie only smiled, not a bit offended, and patiently +continued along the terrace. + +At last I was officially "passed out" by the surgeon, and after eighteen +months was free from hospitals. What a relief! No longer anyone to +reproach me because I wasn't a man! It was my great wish to go out to +the F.A.N.Y.s again when I had got thoroughly accustomed to my leg. I +tried riding a bicycle, and after falling off once or twice "coped" +quite well, but it was not till November that I had the chance to try a +horse. I was down at Broadstairs and soon discovered a job-master and +arranged to go out the next day. I hardly slept at all that night I was +so excited at the prospect. The horse I had was a grey, rather a +coincidence, and not at all unlike my beloved grey in France. Oh the joy +of being in a saddle again! A lugubrious individual with a bottle nose +(whom I promptly christened "Dundreary" because of his long whiskers) +came out with me. He was by way of being a riding master, but for all +the attention he paid I might have been alone. + +I suggested finding a place for a canter after we had trotted some +distance and things felt all right. I was so excited to find I could +ride again with comparatively little inconvenience I could hardly +restrain myself from whooping aloud. I presently infected "Dundreary," +who, in his melancholy way, became quite jovial. I rode "Bob" every day +after that and felt that after all life was worth living again. + +On November 11th came the news of the armistice. The flags and +rejoicings in the town seemed to jar somehow. I was glad to be out of +London. A drizzle set in about noon and the waves beat against the +cliffs in a steady boom not unlike the guns now silent across the water. +Through the mist I seemed to see the ghosts of all I knew who had been +sacrificed in the prime of their youth to the god of war. I saw the +faces of the men in the typhoid wards and heard again the groans as the +wounded and dying were lifted from the ambulance trains on to the +stretchers. It did not seem a time for loud rejoicings, but rather a +quiet thankfulness that we had ended on the right side and their lives +had not been lost in vain. + +The words of Robert Nichols' "Fulfilment," from _Ardours and Endurances_ +(Chatto & Windus), rang through my brain. He has kindly given me +permission to reproduce them: + + Was there love once? I have forgotten her. + Was there grief once? Grief yet is mine. + Other loves I have, men rough, but men who stir + More grief, more joy, than love of thee and mine. + + Faces cheerful, full of whimsical mirth, + Lined by the wind, burned by the sun; + Bodies enraptured by the abounding earth, + As whose children we are brethren: one. + + And any moment may descend hot death + To shatter limbs! pulp, tear, blast + Beloved soldiers, who love rough life and breath + Not less for dying faithful to the last. + + O the fading eyes, the grimed face turned bony, + Open mouth gushing, fallen head, + Lessening pressure of a hand shrunk, clammed, and stony + O sudden spasm, release of the dead! + + Was there love once? I have forgotten her. + Was there grief once? Grief yet is mine. + O loved, living, dying, heroic soldier + All, all, my joy, my grief, my love are thine! + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + +AFTER TWO YEARS + + +My dream of going out to work again with the F.A.N.Y.s was never +realised. Something always seemed to be going wrong with the leg; but I +was determined to try and pay them a visit before they were demobilised. +On these occasions the word "impossible" must be cut out of one's +vocabulary (_vide_ Napoleon), and off I set one fine morning. Everything +seemed strangely unaltered, the same old train down to Folkestone, the +same porters there, the same old ship and lifebelts; and when I got to +Boulogne nearly all the same old faces on the quay to meet the boat! I +rubbed my eyes. Had I really been away two years or was it only a sort +of lengthy nightmare? I walked down the gangway and there was the same +old rogue of a porter in his blue smocking. Yet the town seemed +strangely quiet without the incessant marching of feet as the troops +came and went. "We never thought to see _you_ out here again, Miss," +said the same man in the transport department at the Hotel Christol! + +I went straight up to the convoy at St. Omer, and had tea in the camp +from which they had been shelled only a year before. This convoy of +F.A.N.Y.s, to which many of my old friends had been transferred, was +attached to the 2nd army, and had as its divisional sign a red herring. +The explanation being that one day a certain general visited the camp, +and on leaving said: "Oh, by the way, are you people 'army'?" + +"No," replied the F.A.N.Y., "not exactly." + +"Red Cross then?" + +"Well, not exactly. It's like this," she explained: "We work for the Red +Cross and the cars are theirs, but we are attached to the second army; +we draw our rations from the army and we're called F.A.N.Y.S." + +"'Pon my soul," he cried, "you're neither fish, flesh, nor fowl, but +you're thundering good red herrings!" + +It was a foregone conclusion that a red herring should become their sign +after that! + +The next day I was taken over the battlefields through Arcques, where +the famous "Belle" still manipulates the bridge, and along by the Nieppe +Forest. We could still see the trenches and dug-outs used in the fierce +fighting there last year. A cemetery in a little clearing by the side of +the road, the graves surmounted by plain wooden crosses, was the first +of many we were to pass. Vieux Berquin, a once pretty little village, +was reduced to ruins and the road we followed was pitted with shell +holes. + +It was pathetic to see an old man and his wife, bent almost double with +age and rheumatism, poking about among the ruins of their one-time home, +in the hope of finding something undestroyed. They were living +temporarily in a miserable little shanty roofed in by pieces of +corrugated iron, the remains of former Nissen huts and dug-outs. + +In Neuf Berquin several families were living in new wooden huts the size +of Armstrongs with cheerful red-tiled roofs, that seemed if possible to +intensify the utter desolation of the surroundings. + +Lusty youths, still in the _bleu horizon_ of the French Army, were busy +tilling the ground, which they had cleared of bricks and mortar, to make +vegetable gardens. + +My chief impression was that France, now that the war was over, had made +up her mind to set to and get going again just as fast as she possibly +could. There was not an idle person to be seen, even the children were +collecting bricks and slates. + +I wondered how these families got supplies and, as if in answer to my +unspoken question, a baker's cart full of fresh brown loaves came +bumping and jolting down the uneven village street. + +Silhouetted against the sky behind him was the gaunt wall of the +one-time church tower, its windows looking like the empty sockets of a +skull. + +Estaires was in no better condition, but here the inhabitants had come +back in numbers and were busy at the work of reconstruction. We passed +"Grime Farm" and "Taffy Farm" on the way to Armentières, then through a +little place called Croix du Bac with notices printed on the walls of +the village in German. It had once been their second line. + +In the distance Armentières gave me the impression of being almost +untouched, but on closer inspection the terrible part was that only the +mere shells of the houses were left standing. Bailleul was like a city +of the dead. I saw no returned inhabitants along its desolate streets. +The Mont des Cats was on our left with the famous monastery at its +summit where Prince Rupprecht of Bavaria had been tended by the monks +when lying wounded. In return for their kindness he gave orders that the +monastery was to be spared, and so it was for some time. But whether he +repented of his generosity or not I can't say. It must certainly have +been badly shelled since, as its walls now testify. On our right was +Kemmel with its pill-boxes making irregular bumps against the sky-line. +One place was pointed out to me as being the site of a once famous +tea-garden where a telescope had been installed, for visitors to view +the surrounding country. + +We passed through St. Jans Capelle, Berthen, Boschepe, and so to the +frontier into Belgium. The first sight that greeted our eyes was Remy +siding, a huge cemetery, one of the largest existing, where rows upon +rows of wooden crosses stretched as far as the eye could see. + +We drove to Ypres via Poperinghe and Vlamertinge and saw the famous +"Goldfish" Château on our left, which escaped being shelled, and was +then gutted by an accidental fire! + +I was surprised to see anything at all of the once beautiful Cloth Hall. +We took some snaps of the remains. A lot of discoloured bones were lying +about among the _débris_ disinterred from the cemetery by the +bombardments. + +Heaps of powdered bricks were all that remained of many of the houses. +The town gasometer had evidently been blown completely into the air, +what was left of it was perched on its head in a drunken fashion. + +Beyond the gate of the town on the Menin Road stood a large unpainted +wooden shanty. I wondered what it could be and thought it was possibly a +Y.M.C.A. hut. Imagine my surprise on closer inspection to see painted +over the door in large black letters "Ypriana Hotel"! It had been put up +by an enterprising _Belge_. Somehow it seemed a desecration to see this +cheap little building on that sacred spot. + +The Ypres-Menin Road stretched in front of us as far as the eye could +see, disappearing into the horizon. On either hand was No-man's-land. I +had seen wrecked villages on the Belgian front in 1915 and was more or +less accustomed to the sight, but this was different. It was more +terrible than any ruins I had ever seen. For utter desolation I never +want to behold anything worse. + +The ground was pock-marked with shell-holes and craters. Old tanks lay +embedded in the mud, their sides pierced by shot and shell, and worst of +all by far were the trees. Mere skeletons of trees standing gaunt and +jagged, stripped naked of their bark; mute testimony of the horrors they +had witnessed. Surely of all the lonely places of the earth this was by +far the worst? The ground looked lighter in some places than in others, +where the powdered bricks alone showed where a village had once stood. +There were those whose work it was to search for the scattered graves +and bring them in to one large cemetery. Just beyond "Hell-fire Corner" +a padre was conducting a burial service over some such of these where a +cemetery had been formed. We next passed Birr Cross Roads with +"Sanctuary Wood" on our left. Except that the lifeless trees seemed to +be more numerous, nothing was left to indicate a wood had ever been +there. + +The more I saw the more I marvelled to think how the men could exist in +such a place and not go mad, yet we were seeing it under the most ideal +conditions with the fresh green grass shooting up to cover the ugly +rents and scars. + +Many of the craters half-filled with water already had duckweed growing. +Words are inadequate to express the horror and loneliness of that place +which seemed peopled only by the ghosts of those "Beloved soldiers, who +love rough life and breath, not less for dying faithful to the last." + +We drove on to Hooge and turned near Geluvelt, making our way back +silently along that historic road which had been kept in repair by gangs +of workmen whose job it was to fill in the shell holes as fast as they +were made. + +As we wound our way up the steep hill to Cassel with its narrow streets +and high, Spanish-looking houses, the sun was setting and the country +lay below us in a wonderful panorama. The cherry-trees bordering the +steep hill down the other side stood out like miniature snowstorms +against the blue haze of the evening. We got back to find the Saturday +evening hop in progress (life still seemed to be formed of paradoxes). +It was held in the mess hut, where the bumpy line down the middle of the +floor was appropriately called "Vimy Ridge," and the place where the +shell hole had been further up "Kennedy Crater." The floor was +exceedingly springy just there, but it takes a good deal to "cramp the +style" of a F.A.N.Y., and details of this sort only add to the general +enjoyment. + +The next day I went down to the old convoy and saw my beloved "Susan" +again, apparently not one whit the worse for the valiant war work she +had done. Everything looked exactly the same, and to complete the +picture, as I arrived, I saw two F.A.N.Y.s quietly snaffling some horses +for a ride round the camp while their owners remained blissfully +unconscious in the mess. I felt things were indeed unchanged! + +That evening I hunted out all my French friends. The old flower lady in +the Rue uttered a shriek, dropped her flowers, and embraced me again and +again. Then there was the _Pharmacie_ to visit, the paper man, the +pretty flapper, Monsieur and Madame from the "Omelette" Shop, and a host +of others. I also saw the French general. For a moment he was +puzzled--obviously he "knew the face but couldn't put a name to it," +then his eye fell on the ribbon. "_Mon enfant_," was all he said, and +without any warning he opened his arms and I received a smacking kiss on +both cheeks! _Quel émotion!_ Everyone was so delighted, I felt the +burden of the last two years slipping off my shoulders. + +Quite by chance I was put in my old original "cue." I counted the doors +up the passage. Yes, it must be the one, there could be no doubt about +it, and on looking up at the walls I could just discern the shadowy +outlines of the panthers through a new coating of colour-wash. + +The hospital where I had been was shut up and empty, and was shortly +going to become a Casino again. How good it was to be back with the +F.A.N.Y.s! I had just caught them in time, for they were to be +demobilised on the following Sunday and I began to realise, now that I +was with them again, just how terribly I had missed their gay +companionship. + +It was a singular and happy coincidence that on the second anniversary +of the day I lost my leg, I should be cantering over the same fields at +Peuplinghe where "Flanders" had so gallantly pursued "puss" that day so +long ago, or was it really only yesterday? + + FRANCE, + _May 9th, 1919._ + + * * * * * + +_Printed by Hazell, Watson & Viney, Ld., London and Aylesbury, England._ + + +[Transcriber's Notes: +The original text had no footnotes. I put markers in where the text was +changed in any way. + +Varied hyphenation retained. Obvious spelling and punctuation errors +repaired and noted. + +[1] Space introduced in "everyone" to read "every one[1] of those men" Chapter II page 14 + +[2] Period added "one had done." Chapter III page 25 + +[3] Position of opening parenthesis on this sentence surmised. Chapter +VI page 47 "terms!)" + +[4] Period added at end of paragraph Chapter VII on page 51 "patients." + +[5] Word changed from "a" to "as" Chapter VII on page 55 "he was as[5] +black" + +[6] Typo fixed "splendily" to "splendidly" Chapter VII page 56 "behaved +splendidly" + +[7] Extraneous quotation mark removed from "_Mees anglaises_!" Chapter VII page 56 + +[8] Closing quote added Chapter IX page 78 "to vous plaît_,"[8] they" + +[9] Typo fixed depôt changed to dépôt to match remainder of text Chapter +IX page 85 "enlisting dépôt[9] who" + +[10] Comma changed to a period Chapter X page 90 "places.[10] Up" + +[11] F.A.N.Y.work--space introduced to F.A.N.Y. work Chapter X page 108 + +[12] Ending quotation mark added. Chapter XI page 122. "Blighter"!" + +[13] Period inserted "at all.[13] As we" Chapter XIV page 182 + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Fanny Goes to War, by Pat Beauchamp + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FANNY GOES TO WAR *** + +***** This file should be named 16521-8.txt or 16521-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/6/5/2/16521/ + +Produced by Internet Archive Canadian Libraries, Irma +Spehar, Emmy and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team +at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Fanny Goes to War + +Author: Pat Beauchamp + +Release Date: August 13, 2005 [EBook #16521] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FANNY GOES TO WAR *** + + + + +Produced by Internet Archive Canadian Libraries, Irma +Spehar, Emmy and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team +at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + + + + + + +<h1>FANNY GOES TO WAR</h1> + +<h2>BY PAT BEAUCHAMP</h2> +<h3>(FIRST AID NURSING YEOMANRY)</h3> + +<div class="center"><span class="smcap">With an Introduction by</span><br /> +MAJOR-GENERAL H.N. THOMPSON,<br /> +K.C.M.G, C.B., D.S.O</div> + + +<div class="center">LONDON<br /> +JOHN MURRAY, ALBEMARLE STREET, W.<br /> +1919</div> + +<hr style="width: 15%;" /> + +<div class="center"><span class="smcap">All Rights Reserved</span></div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<div class="center">To T.H.</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h2>INTRODUCTION</h2> + + +<p>I eagerly avail myself of the Author's invitation to write a foreword to +her book, as it gives me an opportunity of expressing something of the +admiration, of the wonder, of the intense brotherly sympathy and +affection—almost adoration—which has from time to time overwhelmed me +when witnessing the work of our women during the Great War.</p> + +<p>They have been in situations where, five short years ago, no one would +ever have thought of finding them. They have witnessed and taken active +part in scenes nerve-racking and heart-rending beyond the power of +description. Often it has been my duty to watch car-load after car-load +of severely wounded being dumped into the reception marquees of a +Casualty Clearing Station. There they would be placed in long rows +awaiting their turn, and there, amid the groans of the wounded and the +loud gaspings of the gassed, at the mere approach of a sister there +would be a perceptible change and every conscious eye would brighten as +with a ray of fresh hope. In the resuscitation and moribund marquees, +nothing was more pathetic than to see "Sister," with her notebook, +stooping over some dying lad, catching his last messages to his loved +ones.</p> + +<p>Women worked amid such scenes for long hours day after day, amid scenes +as no mere man could long endure, and yet their nerves held out; it may +be because they were inspired by the nature of their work. I have seen +them, too, continue that work under intermittent shelling and bombing, +repeated day after day and night after night, and it was the rarest +thing to find one whose nerves gave way. I have seen others rescue +wounded from falling houses, and drive their cars boldly into streets +with bricks and debris flying.</p> + +<p>I have also, alas! seen them grievously wounded; and on one occasion, +killed, and found their comrades continuing their work in the actual +presence of their dead.</p> + +<p>The free homes of Britain little realise what our war women have been +through, or what an undischarged debt is owing to them.</p> + +<p>How few now realise to what a large extent they were responsible for the +fighting spirit, for the <i>morale</i>, for the tenacity which won the war! +The feeling, the knowledge that their women were at hand to succour and +to tend them when they fell raised the fighting spirit of the men and +made them brave and confident.</p> + +<p>The above qualities are well exemplified by the conduct and bearing of +our Authoress herself, who, when grievously injured, never lost her head +or her consciousness, but through half an hour sat quietly on the +road-side beside the wreck of her car and the mangled remains of her +late companion. Rumour has it that she asked for and smoked a +cigarette.</p> + +<p>Such heroism in a young girl strongly appealed to the imagination of our +French and Belgian Allies, and two rows of medals bedeck her khaki +jacket.</p> + +<p>Other natural qualities of our race, which largely helped to win the +war, are brought out very vividly, although unconsciously, in this book, +<i>e.g.</i> the spirit of cheerfulness; the power to forget danger and +hardship; the faculty of seeing the humorous side of things; of making +the best of things; the spirit of comradeship which sweetened life.</p> + +<p>These qualities were nowhere more evident than among the F.A.N.Y. Their +<i>esprit-de-corps</i>, their gaiety, their discipline, their smartness and +devotion when duty called were infectious, almost an inspiration to +those who witnessed them.</p> + +<p>Throughout the war the "Fannys" were renowned for their resourcefulness. +They were always ready to take on any and every job, from starting up a +frozen car to nursing a bad typhoid case, and they rose to the occasion +every time.</p> + +<p class='right'> +H.N. THOMPSON, K.C.M.G., C.B., D.S.O.,</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 28em;"><i>Major-General</i>.</span><br /> +</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p class='right'><i>Director of Medical Services, British Army of the Rhine</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Assistant Director Medical Services, 2nd Division, 1914; +ditto 48th Division, 1915; Deputy-Director Medical Services, +VI Corps, May 1915 to July 1917; Director Medical Services, +First Army, July 1917 to April 1919.</i></p></div> + +<h2>CONTENTS</h2> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" summary="Contents"> +<tr><td align='left'>CHAPTER</td> +<td align='left'></td> +<td align='left'>PAGE</td></tr> + +<tr><td align='right'>I.</td> +<td align='left'>IN CAMP BEFORE THE WAR</td> +<td align='right'><a href='#Page_1'>1</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='right'>II.</td> +<td align='left'>FIRST IMPRESSIONS</td> +<td align='right'><a href='#Page_11'>11</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='right'>III.</td> +<td align='left'>THE JOURNEY UP TO THE FRONT</td> +<td align='right'><a href='#Page_19'>19</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='right'>IV.</td> +<td align='left'>BEHIND THE TRENCHES</td +><td align='right'><a href='#Page_27'>27</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='right'>V.</td> +<td align='left'>IN THE TRENCHES</td> +<td align='right'><a href='#Page_35'>35</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='right'>VI.</td> +<td align='left'>THE TYPHOID WARDS</td> +<td align='right'><a href='#Page_41'>41</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='right'>VII.</td> +<td align='left'>THE ZEPPELIN RAID</td> +<td align='right'><a href='#Page_49'>49</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='right'>VIII.</td> +<td align='left'>CONCERNING BATHS, "JOLIE-ANNETTE," "MARIE-MARGOT" AND ST. INGLEVERT</td> +<td align='right'><a href='#Page_59'>59</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='right'>IX.</td> +<td align='left'>TYPHOIDS AGAIN, AND PARIS IN 1915.</td> +<td align='right'><a href='#Page_70'>70</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='right'>X.</td> +<td align='left'>CONCERNING A CONCERT, CANTEEN WORK, HOUSEKEEPING, THE ENGLISH CONVOY, AND GOOD-BYE, LAMARCK.</td> +<td align='right'><a href='#Page_88'>88</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='right'>XI.</td> +<td align='left'>THE ENGLISH CONVOY</td> +<td align='right'><a href='#Page_111'>111</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='right'>XII.</td> +<td align='left'>THE PASSING OF THE LITTLE LORRY, "OLD BILL" AND "'ERB" AT AUDRICQ</td> +<td align='right'><a href='#Page_129'>129</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='right'>XIII.</td> +<td align='left'>CONVOY LIFE</td> +<td align='right'><a href='#Page_152'>152</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='right'>XIV.</td> +<td align='left'>CHRISTMAS, 1916</td> +<td align='right'><a href='#Page_176'>176</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='right'>XV.</td> +<td align='left'>CONVOY PETS, COMMANDEERING, AND THE "FANTASTIKS"</td> +<td align='right'><a href='#Page_197'>197</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='right'>XVI.</td> +<td align='left'>THE LAST RIDE</td> +<td align='right'><a href='#Page_216'>216</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='right'>XVII.</td> +<td align='left'>HOSPITALS: FRANCE AND ENGLAND</td> +<td align='right'><a href='#Page_240'>240</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='right'>XVIII.</td> +<td align='left'>ROEHAMPTON: "BOB" THE GREY, AND THE ARMISTICE</td> +<td align='right'><a href='#Page_267'>267</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='right'>XIX.</td> +<td align='left'>AFTER TWO YEARS</td> +<td align='right'><a href='#Page_283'>283</a></td></tr> +</table></div> + +<p><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1"></a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>FANNY GOES TO WAR</h2> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER I</h2> + +<div class='center'><big>IN CAMP BEFORE THE WAR</big></div> + + +<p>The First Aid Nursing Yeomanry was founded in 1910 and now numbers +roughly about four hundred voluntary members.</p> + +<p>It was originally intended to supplement the R.A.M.C. in field work, +stretcher bearing, ambulance driving, etc.—its duties being more or +less embodied in the title.</p> + +<p>An essential point was that each member should be able to ride bareback +or otherwise, as much difficulty had been found in transporting nurses +from one place to another on the veldt in the South African War. Men had +often died through lack of attention, as the country was too rough to +permit of anything but a saddle horse to pass.</p> + +<p>The First Aid Nursing Yeomanry was on active service soon after War was +declared and, though it is not universally known, they were the pioneers +of all the women's corps subsequently working in France.</p> + +<p>Before they had been out very long they were <a name="Page_2" id="Page_2"></a>affectionately known as +the F.A.N.Y.'s, to all and sundry, and in an incredibly short space of +time had units working with the British, French, and Belgian Armies in +the field.</p> + +<p>It was in the Autumn of 1913 that, picking up the <i>Mirror</i> one day, I +saw a snapshot of a girl astride on horseback leaping a fence in a khaki +uniform and topee. Underneath was merely the line "Women Yeomanry in +Camp," and nothing more. "That," said I, pointing out the photo to a +friend, "is the sort of show I'd like to belong to: I'm sick of ambling +round the Row on a Park hack. It would be a rag to go into camp with a +lot of other girls. I'm going to write to the <i>Mirror</i> for particulars +straight away."</p> + +<p>I did so; but got no satisfaction at all, as the note accompanying the +photo had been mislaid. However, they did inform me there was such a +Corps in existence, but beyond that they could give me no particulars.</p> + +<p>I spent weeks making enquiries on all sides. "Oh, yes, certainly there +was a Girls' Yeomanry Corps." "Where can I join it?" I would ask +breathlessly. "Ah, that I can't say," would be the invariable reply.</p> + +<p>The more obstacles I met with only made me the more determined to +persevere. I went out of my way to ask all sorts of possible and +impossible people on the off-chance that they might know; but it was a +long time before I could run it to earth. "Deeds not words" seemed to be +their motto.<a name="Page_3" id="Page_3"></a></p> + +<p>One night at a small dance my partner told me he had just joined the +Surrey Yeomanry; that brought the subject up once more and I confided +all my troubles to him. Joy of joys! He had actually <i>seen</i> some of the +Corps riding in Hounslow Barracks. It was plain sailing from that +moment, and I hastened to write to the Adjutant of the said Barracks to +obtain full particulars.</p> + +<p>Within a few days I received a reply and a week later met the C.O. of +the F.A.N.Y.'s, for an interview.</p> + +<p>To my delight I heard the Corps was shortly going into camp, and I was +invited to go down for a week-end to see how I liked it before I +officially became a member. When the day arrived my excitement, as I +stepped into the train at Waterloo, knew no bounds. Here I was at last +<i>en route</i> for the elusive Yeomanry Camp!</p> + +<p>Arrived at Brookwood, I chartered an ancient fly and in about twenty +minutes or so espied the camp in a field some distance from the road +along which we were driving. "'Ard up for a job <i>I</i> should say!" said my +cabby, nodding jocosely towards the khaki figures working busily in the +distance. I ignored this sally as I dismissed him and set off across the +fields with my suit case.</p> + +<p>There was a large mess tent, a store tent, some half dozen or more bell +tents, a smoky, but serviceable-looking, field kitchen, and at the end +of the field were tethered the horses! As I drew nearer, I felt horribly +shy and was glad I had selected my <a name="Page_4" id="Page_4"></a>very plainest suit and hat, as +several pairs of eyes looked up from polishing bits and bridles to scan +me from top to toe.</p> + +<p>I was shown into the mess tent, where I was told to wait for the C.O., +and in the meantime made friends with "Castor," the Corps' bull-dog and +mascot, who was lying in a clothes-basket with a bandaged paw as the +result of an argument with a regimental pal at Bisley.</p> + +<p>A sudden diversion was caused by a severe thunderstorm which literally +broke right over the camp. I heard the order ring out "To the +horse-lines!" and watched (through a convenient hole in the canvas) +several "troopers" flying helter-skelter down the field.</p> + +<p>To everyone's disappointment, however, those old skins never turned a +hair; there was not even the suggestion of a stampede. I cautiously +pushed my suit-case under the mess table in the hope of keeping it dry, +for the rain was coming down in torrents, and in places poured through +the canvas roof in small rivulets. (Even in peace-time comfort in the +F.A.N.Y. Camp was at a minimum!)</p> + +<p>They all trooped in presently, very wet and jolly, and Lieutenant Ashley +Smith (McDougal) introduced me as a probable recruit. When the storm was +over she kindly lent me an old uniform, and I was made to feel quite at +home by being handed about thirty knives and asked to rub them in the +earth to get them clean. The cooks loved new recruits!<a name="Page_5" id="Page_5"></a></p> + +<p>Feeling just then was running very high over the Irish question. I +learnt a contingent had been offered and accepted, in case of +hostilities, and that the C.O. had even been over to Belfast to arrange +about stables and housing!</p> + +<p>One enthusiast asked me breathlessly (it was Cole-Hamilton) "Which side +are you on?" I'm afraid I knew nothing much about either and shamelessly +countered it by asking, "Which are you?" "Ulster, of course," she +replied. "I'm with you," said I, "it's all the same to me so long as I'm +there for the show."</p> + +<p>I thoroughly enjoyed that week-end and, of course, joined the Corps. In +July of that year we had great fun in the long summer camp at Pirbright.</p> + +<p>Work was varied, sometimes we rode out with the regiments stationed at +Bisley on their field days and looked after any casualties. (We had a +horse ambulance in those days which followed on these occasions and was +regarded as rather a dud job.) Other days some were detailed for work at +the camp hospital near by to help the R.A.M.C. men, others to exercise +the horses, clean the officers' boots and belts, etc., and, added to +these duties, was all the everyday work of the camp, the grooming and +watering of the horses, etc. Each one groomed her own mount, but in some +cases one was shared between two girls. "Grooming time is the only time +when I appreciate having half a horse," one of these remarked cheerily +to me. That hissing noise so beloved of grooms is extraordinarily hard +<a name="Page_6" id="Page_6"></a>to acquire—personally, I needed all the breath I had to cope at all!</p> + +<p>The afternoons were spent doing stretcher drill: having lectures on +First Aid and Nursing from a R.A.M.C. Sergeant-Major, and, when it was +very hot, enjoying a splash in the tarpaulin-lined swimming bath the +soldiers had kindly made for us. Rides usually took place in the +evenings, and when bedtime came the weary troopers were only too ready +to turn in! Our beds were on the floor and of the "biscuit" variety, +being three square <i>paillasse</i> arrangements looking like giant +reproductions of the now too well known army "tooth breakers." We had +brown army blankets, and it was no uncommon thing to find black earth +beetles and earwigs crawling among them! After months of active service +these details appear small, but in the summer of 1914 they were real +terrors. Before leaving the tents in the morning each "biscuit" had to +be neatly piled on the other and all the blankets folded, and then we +had to sally forth to learn the orders of the day, who was to be orderly +to our two officers, who was to water the horses, etc., etc., and by the +time it was eight a.m. we had already done a hard day's work.</p> + +<p>One particular day stands out in my memory as being a specially +strenuous one. The morning's work was over, and the afternoon was set +aside for practising for the yearly sports. The rescue race was by far +the most thrilling, its object being to save anyone from the enemy who +had been left <a name="Page_7" id="Page_7"></a>on the field without means of transport. There was a good +deal of discussion as to who were to be the rescued and who the +rescuers. Sergeant Wicks explained to all and sundry that her horse +objected strongly to anyone sitting on its tail and that it always +bucked on these occasions. No one seemed particularly anxious to be +saved on that steed, and my heart sank as her eye alighted on me. Being +a new member I felt it was probably a test, and when the inevitable +question was asked I murmured faintly I'd be delighted. I made my way to +the far end of the field with the others fervently hoping I shouldn't +land on my head.</p> + +<p>At a given command the rescuers galloped up, wheeled round, and, +slipping the near foot from the stirrup, left it for the rescued to jump +up by. I was soon up and sitting directly behind the saddle with one +foot in the stirrup and a hand in Sergeant Wicks' belt. (Those of you +who know how slight she is can imagine my feeling of security!) Off we +set with every hope of reaching the post first, and I was just settling +down to enjoy myself when going over a little dip in the field two +terrific bucks landed us high in the air! Luckily I fell "soft," but as +I picked myself up I couldn't help wondering whether in some cases +falling into the enemy's hand might not be the lesser evil! I spent the +next ten minutes catching the "Bronco!" After that, we retired to our +mess for tea, on the old Union Jack, very ready for it after our +efforts.</p> + +<p>We had just turned in that night and drawn <a name="Page_8" id="Page_8"></a>up the army blankets, +excessively scratchy they were too, when the bugle sounded for everyone +to turn out. (This was rather a favourite stunt of the C.O.'s.) Luckily +it was a bright moonlight night, and we learnt we were to make for a +certain hill, beyond Bisley, carrying with us stretchers and a tent for +an advanced dressing station. Subdued groans greeted this piece of news, +but we were soon lined up in groups of four—two in front, two behind, +and with two stretchers between the four. These were carried on our +shoulders for a certain distance, and at the command "Change +stretchers!" they were slipped down by our sides. This stunt had to be +executed very neatly and with precision, and woe betide anyone who +bungled it. It was ten o'clock when we reached Bisley Camp, and I +remember to this day the surprised look on the sentry's face, in the +moonlight, as we marched through. It was always a continual source of +wonderment to them that girls should do anything so much like hard work +for so-called amusement. That march seemed interminable—but singing and +whistling as we went along helped us tremendously. Little did we think +how this training would stand us in good stead during the long days on +active service that followed. At last a halt was called, and luckily at +this point there was a nice dry ditch into which we quickly flopped with +our backs to the hedge and our feet on the road. It made an ideal +armchair!</p> + +<p>We resumed the march, and striking off the road came to a rough clearing +where the tent was already <a name="Page_9" id="Page_9"></a>being erected by an advance party. We were +lined up and divided into groups, some as stretcher bearers, some as +"wounded," some as nurses to help the "doctor," etc. The wounded were +given slips of paper, on which their particular "wound" was described, +and told to go off and make themselves scarce, till they were found and +carried in (a coveted job). When they had selected nice soft dry spots +they lay down and had a quiet well-earned nap until the stretcher +bearers discovered them. Occasionally they were hard to find, and a +panting bearer would call out "I say, wounded, <i>give</i> a groan!" and they +were located. First Aid bandages were applied to the "wound" and, if +necessary, impromptu splints made from the trees near by. The patient +was then placed on the stretcher and taken back to the "dressing +station." "I'm slipping off the stretcher at this angle," she would +occasionally complain. "Shut up," the panting stretcher bearers would +reply, "you're unconscious!"</p> + +<p>When all were brought in, places were changed, and the stretcher bearers +became the wounded and vice versa. We got rather tired of this pastime +about 12.30 but there was still another wounded to be brought in. She +had chosen the bottom of a heathery slope and took some finding. It was +the C.O. She feigned delirium and threw her arms about in a wild manner. +The poor bearers were feeling too exhausted to appreciate this piece of +acting, and heather is extremely slippery stuff.<a name="Page_10" id="Page_10"></a> When we had struggled +back with her the soi-disant doctor asked for the diagnosis. "Drunk and +disorderly," replied one of them, stepping smartly forward and saluting! +This somewhat broke up the proceedings, and <i>lèse majesté</i> was excused +on the grounds that it was too dark to recognise it was the C.O. The +tent pegs were pulled up and the tent pulled down and we all thankfully +tramped back to camp to sleep the sleep of the just till the reveille +sounded to herald another day.<a name="Page_11" id="Page_11"></a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_II" id="CHAPTER_II"></a>CHAPTER II</h2> + +<div class='center'><big>FIRST IMPRESSIONS</big></div> + + +<p>The last Chapter was devoted to the F.A.N.Y.'s in camp before the War, +but from now onwards will be chronicled facts that befell them on active +service.</p> + +<p>When war broke out in August 1914 Lieutenant Ashley Smith lost no time +in offering the Corps' services to the War Office. To our intense +disappointment these were refused. However, F.A.N.Y.'s are not easily +daunted. The Belgian Army, at that time, had no organised medical corps +in the field, and informed us they would be extremely grateful if we +would take over a Hospital for them. Lieutenant Smith left for Antwerp +in September 1914, and had arranged to take a house there for a Hospital +when the town fell; her flight to Ghent where she stayed to the last +with a dying English officer, until the Germans arrived, and her +subsequent escape to Holland have been told elsewhere. (<i>A F.A.N.Y. in +France—Nursing Adventures.</i>) Suffice it to say we were delighted to see +her safely back among us again in October; and on the last day of that +month the first contingent of F.A.N.Y.'s left for active service, hardly +any of them over twenty-one.<a name="Page_12" id="Page_12"></a></p> + +<p>I was unfortunately not able to join them until January 1915; and never +did time drag so slowly as in those intervening months. I spent the time +in attending lectures and hospital, driving a car and generally picking +up every bit of useful information I could. The day arrived at last and +Coley and I were, with the exception of the Queen of the Belgians +(travelling incognito) and her lady-in-waiting, the only women on board.</p> + +<p>The Hospital we had given us was for Belgian Tommies, and called +Lamarck, and had been a Convent school before the War. There were fifty +beds for "<i>blessés</i>" and fifty for typhoid patients, which at that +period no other Hospital in the place would take. It was an extremely +virulent type of pneumonic typhoid. These cases were in a building apart +from the main Hospital and across the yard. Dominating both buildings +was the cathedral of Notre Dame, with its beautiful East window facing +our yard.</p> + +<p>The top floor of the main building was a priceless room and reserved for +us. Curtained off at the far end were the beds of the chauffeurs who had +to sleep on the premises while the rest were billeted in the town; the +other end resolved itself into a big untidy, but oh so jolly, sitting +room. Packing cases were made into seats and piles of extra blankets +were covered and made into "tumpties," while round the stove stood the +interminable clothes horses airing the shirts and sheets, etc., which +Lieutenant Franklin brooded over with a watchful <a name="Page_13" id="Page_13"></a>eye! It was in this +room we all congregated at ten o'clock every morning for twenty precious +minutes during which we had tea and biscuits, read our letters, swanked +to other wards about the bad cases we had got in, and generally talked +shop and gossiped. There was an advanced dressing station at Oostkerke +where three of the girls worked in turn, and we also took turns to go up +to the trenches on the Yser at night, with fresh clothes for the men and +bandages and dressings for those who had been wounded.</p> + +<p>At one time we were billeted in a fresh house every three nights which, +as the reader may imagine in those "moving" times, had its +disadvantages. After a time, as a great favour, an empty shop was +allowed us as a permanency. It rejoiced in the name of "Le Bon Génie" +and was at the corner of a street, the shop window extending along the +two sides. It was this "shop window" we used as a dormitory, after +pasting the lower panes with brown paper. When they first heard at home +that we "slept in a shop window" they were mildly startled. We were so +short of beds that the night nurses tumbled into ours as soon as they +were vacated in the morning, so there was never much fear of suffering +from a damp one.</p> + +<p>Our patients were soldiers of the Belgian line and cavalry regiments and +at first I was put in a <i>blessé</i> ward. I had originally gone out with +the idea of being one of the chauffeurs; but we were so short of nurses +that I willingly went into the wards in<a name="Page_14" id="Page_14"></a>stead, where we worked under +trained sisters. The men were so jolly and patient and full of gratitude +to the English "Miskes" (which was an affectionate diminutive of +"Miss"). It was a sad day when we had to clear the beds to make ready +for fresh cases. I remember going down to the Gare Maritime one day +before the Hospital ship left for Cherbourg, where they were all taken. +Never shall I forget the sight. In those days passenger ships had been +hastily converted into Hospital ships and the accommodation was very +different from that of to-day. All the cases from my ward were +"stretchers" and indeed hardly fit to be moved. I went down the +companion way, and what a scene met my eyes. The floor of the saloon was +packed with stretchers all as close together as possible. It seemed +terrible to believe that <ins title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'everyone'">every one</ins> of those men was seriously wounded. +The stretchers were so close together it was impossible to try and move +among them, so I stayed on the bottom rung of the ladder and threw the +cigarettes to the different men who were well enough to smoke them. The +discomfort they endured must have been terrible, for from a letter I +subsequently received I learnt they were three days on the journey. In +those days when the Germans were marching on Calais, it was up to the +medical authorities to pass the wounded through as quickly as possible.</p> + +<p>Often the men could only speak Flemish, but I did not find much +difficulty in understanding it. If you speak German with a broad +Cumberland <a name="Page_15" id="Page_15"></a>accent I assure you you can make yourself understood quite +easily! It was worth while trying anyway, and it did one's heart good to +see how their faces lighted up.</p> + +<p>There were some famous characters in the Hospital, one of them being +Jefké, the orderly in Ward I, who at times could be tender as a woman, +at others a veritable clown keeping the men in fits of laughter, then as +suddenly lapsing into a profound melancholy and reading a horrible +little greasy prayer book assuring us most solemnly that his one idea in +life was to enter the Church. Though he stole jam right and left his +heart was in the right place, for the object of his depredations was +always some extra tasty dish for a specially bad <i>blessé</i>. He had the +longest of eyelashes, and his expression when caught would be so comical +it was impossible to be angry with him.</p> + +<p>Another famous "impayable" was the coffin-cart man who came on occasions +to drive the men to their last resting place. The Coffin cart was a +melancholy looking vehicle resembling in appearance a dilapidated old +crow, as much as anything, or a large bird of prey with its torn black +canvas sides that flapped mournfully like huge wings in the wind as +Pierre drove it along the streets. I could never repress a shiver when I +saw it flapping along. The driver was far from being a sorry individual +with his crisp black moustaches <i>bien frisés</i> and his merry eye. He +explained to me in a burst of confidence that his <i>métier</i> in peace +times was that of <a name="Page_16" id="Page_16"></a>a trick cyclist on the Halls. What a contrast from +his present job. He promised to borrow a bicycle on the morrow and give +an exhibition for our benefit in the yard. He did so, and was certainly +no mean performer. The only day I ever saw him really downcast was when +he came to bid good-bye. "What, Pierre," said I, "you don't mean to say +you are leaving us?" "Yes, Miske, for punishment—I will explain how it +arrived. Look you, to give pleasure to my young lady I took her for a +joy-ride, a very little one, on the coffin cart, and on returning behold +we were caught, <i>voilà</i>, and now I go to the trenches!" I could not help +laughing, he looked so downcast, and the idea of his best girl enjoying +a ride in that lugubrious car struck me as being the funniest thing I +had heard for some time.</p> + +<p>We were a never-failing source of wonderment to the French inhabitants +of the town. Our manly Yeomanry uniform filled them with awe and +admiration. I overheard a chemist saying to one of his clients as we +were passing out of his shop, "Truly, until one hears their voices, one +would say they were men."</p> + +<p>"There's a compliment for us," said I, to Struttie. "I didn't know we +had manly faces until this moment."</p> + +<p>After some time when work was not at such a high pressure, two of us +went out riding in turns on the sands with one of the Commandants. +Belgian military saddles took some getting used to with the peak in +front and the still higher one behind, <a name="Page_17" id="Page_17"></a>not to mention the excessive +slipperiness of the surface. His favourite pastime on the return ride +was to play follow my leader up and down the sand dunes, and it was his +great delight to go streaking up the very highest, with the sand +crumbling and slipping behind him, and we perforce had to follow and lie +almost flat on the horse's backs as we descended the "precipice" the +other side. We felt English honour was at stake and with our hearts in +our mouths (at least mine was!) followed at all costs.</p> + +<p>If we were off duty in the evening we hurried back to the "shop window" +buying eggs <i>en route</i> and anything else we fancied for supper; then we +undressed hastily and thoroughly enjoyed our picnic meal instead of +having it in the hospital kitchen, with the sanded floor and the medley +of Belgian cooks in the background and the banging of saucepans as an +accompaniment. Two of the girls kept their billet off the Grand Place as +a permanency. It was in a funny old-fashioned house in a dark street +known universally as "the dug-out"—Madame was fat and capable, with a +large heart. The French people at first were rather at a loss to place +the English "Mees" socially and one day two of us looked in to ask +Madame's advice on how to cook something. She turned to us in +astonishment. "How now, you know not how to cook a thing simple as that? +Who then makes the 'cuisine' for you at home? Surely not Madame your +mother when there are young girls such as you in the house?"<a name="Page_18" id="Page_18"></a> We gazed +at her dumbly while she sniffed in disgust. "Such a thing is unheard of +in my country," she continued wrathfully. "I wonder you have not shame +at your age to confess such ignorance"—"What <i>would</i> she say," said my +friend to me when she had gone, "if I told her we have <i>two</i> cooks at +home?"</p> + +<p>This house of Madame's was built in such a way that some of the bedrooms +jutted out over the shops in the narrow little streets. Thompson and +Struttie who had a room there were over a Café Chantant known as the +"Bijou"—a high class place of entertainment! Sunday night was a gala +performance and I was often asked to a "scrambled-egg" supper during +which, with forks suspended in mid air, we listened breathlessly to the +sounds of revelry beneath. Some of the performers had extremely good +voices and we could almost, but not quite, hear the words (perhaps it +was just as well). What ripping tunes they had! I can remember one +especially when, during the chorus, all the audience beat time with +their feet and joined in. We were evolving wild schemes of disguising +ourselves as <i>poilus</i> and going in a body to witness the show, but +unfortunately it was one of those things that is "not done" in the best +circles!<a name="Page_19" id="Page_19"></a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III"></a>CHAPTER III</h2> + +<div class='center'><big>THE JOURNEY UP TO THE FRONT</big></div> + + +<p>Soon my turn came to go up to the trenches. The day had at last arrived! +We were not due to go actually <i>into</i> the trenches till after dark in +case of drawing fire, but we set off early, as we had some distance to +go and stores to deliver at dressing stations. Two of the trained +nurses, Sister Lampen and Joynson, were of the party, and two +F.A.N.Y.'s; the rest of the good old "Mors" ambulance was filled with +sacks of shirts, mufflers, and socks, together with the indispensable +first-aid chests and packets of extra dressings in case of need.</p> + +<p>Our first visit was made to the Belgian Headquarters in the town for our +<i>laisser passers</i>, without which we would not be allowed to pass the +sentries at the barriers. We were also given the <i>mots du jour</i> or +pass-words for the day, the latter of which came into operation only +when we were in the zone of fire. I will describe what happened in +detail, as it was a very fair sample of the average day up at the front. +The road along which we travelled was, of course, <a name="Page_20" id="Page_20"></a>lined with the +ubiquitous poplar tree, placed at regular intervals as far as the eye +could see. The country was flat to a degree, with cleverly hidden +entrenchments at intervals, for this was the famous main road to Calais +along which the Kaiser so ardently longed to march.</p> + +<p>Barriers occurred frequently placed slantwise across the roads, where +sentries stood with fixed bayonets, and through which no one could pass +unless the <i>laisser passer</i> was produced. Some of those barriers were +quite tricky affairs to drive through in a big ambulance, and reminded +me of a gymkhana! It was quite usual in those days to be stopped by a +soldier waiting on the road, who, with a gallant bow and salute, asked +your permission to "mount behind" and have a lift to so and so. In fact, +if you were on foot and wanted to get anywhere quickly it was always +safe to rely on a military car or ambulance coming along, and then +simply wave frantically and ask for a lift. Very much a case of share +and share alike.</p> + +<p>We passed many regiments riding along, and very gay they looked with +their small cocked caps and tassels that dangled jauntily over one eye +(this was before they got into khaki). The regiments were either French +or Belgian, for no British were in that sector at this time. Soon we +arrived at the picturesque entry into Dunkirk, with its drawbridge and +mediæval towers and grey city wall; here our passes were again examined, +and there was a long queue of cars waiting to get through <a name="Page_21" id="Page_21"></a>as we drew +up. Once "across the Rubicon" we sped through the town and in time came +to Furnes with its quaint old market place. Already the place was +showing signs of wear and tear. Shell holes in some of the roofs and a +good many broken panes, together with the general air of desertion, all +combined to make us feel we were near the actual fighting line. We +learnt that bombs had been dropped there only that morning. (This was +early in 1915, and since then the place has been reduced to almost +complete ruin.) We sped on, and could see one of the famous coastal +forts on the horizon. So different from what one had always imagined a +fort would look like. "A green hill far away," seems best to describe +it, I think. It wasn't till one looked hard that one could see small +dark splotches that indicated where the cannon were.</p> + +<p>A Belgian whom we were "lifting" ("lorry jumping" is now the correct +term!) pointed out to us a huge factory, now in English hands, which had +been owned before the war by a German. Under cover of the so-called +"factory" he had built a secret gun emplacement for a large gun, to +train on this same fort and demolish it when the occasion arose. At this +point we saw the first English soldiers that day in motor boats on the +canal, and what a smile of welcome they gave us!</p> + +<p>Presently we came to lines of Belgian Motor transport drawn up at the +sides of the road, car after car, waiting patiently to get on. Without +exag<a name="Page_22" id="Page_22"></a>geration this line was a mile in length, and we simply had to crawl +past, as there was barely room for a large ambulance on that narrow and +excessively muddy road. The drivers were all in excellent spirits, and +nodded and smiled as we passed—occasionally there was an officer's car +sandwiched in between, and those within gravely saluted.</p> + +<p>About this time a very cheery Belgian artillery-man who was exchanging +to another regiment, came on board and kept us highly amused. Souvenirs +were the aim and end of existence just then, and he promised us shell +heads galore when he came down the line. On leaving the car, as a token +of his extreme gratitude, he pressed his artillery cap into our hands +saying he would have no further need of it in his new regiment, and +would we accept it as a souvenir!</p> + +<p>The roads in Belgium need some explaining for those who have not had the +opportunity to see them. Firstly there is the <i>pavé</i>, and a very popular +picture with us after that day was one which came out in the <i>Sketch</i> of +a Tommy in a lorry asking a haughty French dragoon to "Alley off the +bloomin' pavee—vite." Well, this famous <i>pavé</i> consists of cobbles +about six inches square, and these extend across the road to about the +width of a large cart—On either side there is mud—with a capital M, +such as one doesn't often see—thick and clayey and of a peculiarly +gluey substance, and in some places quite a foot deep. You can imagine +the feeling at <a name="Page_23" id="Page_23"></a>the back of your spine as you are squeezing past another +car. If you aren't extremely careful plop go the side wheels off the +"bloomin' pavee" into the mud beyond and it takes half the Belgian Army +to help to heave you on to the "straight and narrow" path once more.</p> + +<p>It was just about this time we heard our first really heavy firing and +it gave us a queer thrill to hear the constant boom-boom of the guns +like a continuous thunderstorm. We began to feel fearfully hungry, and +stopped beside a high bank flanking a canal and not far from a small +café. Bunny and I went to get some hot water. It was a tumble-down place +enough, and as we pushed the door open (on which, by the way, was the +notice in French, "During the bombardment one enters by the side door") +we found the room full of men drinking coffee and smoking. I bashfully +made my way towards one of the oldest women I have ever seen and asked +her in a low voice for some hot water. As luck would have it she was +deaf as a post, and the whole room listened in interested silence as +with scarlet face I yelled out my demands in my best French. We returned +triumphantly to the waiting ambulance and had a very jolly lunch to the +now louder accompaniment of the guns. The passing soldiers took a great +interest in us and called out whatever English words they knew, the most +popular being "Good night."</p> + +<p>We soon started on our way again, and at this point there was actually a +bend in the road. Just <a name="Page_24" id="Page_24"></a>before we came to it there was a whistling, +sobbing sound in the air and then an explosion somewhere ahead of us. We +all shrank instinctively, and I glanced sideways at my companion, hoping +she hadn't noticed, to find that she was looking at me, and we both +laughed without explaining.</p> + +<p>As we turned the corner, the usual flat expanse of country greeted our +eyes, and a solitary red tiled farmhouse on the right attracted our +attention, in front of which was a group of soldiers. On drawing near we +saw that this was the spot where the shell had landed and that there +were casualties. We drew up and got down hastily, taking dressings with +us. The sight that met my eyes is one I shall never forget, and, in +fact, cannot describe. Four men had just been blown to pieces—I leave +the details to your imagination, but it gave me a sudden shock to +realize that a few minutes earlier those remains had been living men +walking along the road laughing and talking.</p> + +<p>The soldiers, French, standing looking on, seemed more or less dazed. +While they assured us we could do nothing, the body of a fifth soldier +who had been hit on the head by a piece of the same shell, and +instantaneously killed, was being borne on a stretcher into the farm. It +all seemed curiously unreal.</p> + +<p>One of the men silently handed me a bit of the shell, which was still +warm. It was just a chance that we had not stopped opposite that farm +for lunch, as we assuredly would have done had it <a name="Page_25" id="Page_25"></a>not been hidden +beyond the bend in the road. The noise of firing was now very loud, and +though the sun was shining brightly on the farm, the road we were +destined to follow was sombre looking with a lowering sky overhead. +Another shell came over and burst in front of us to the right. For an +instant I felt in an awful funk, and my one idea was to flee from that +sinister spot as fast as I could. We seemed to be going right for it, +"looking for trouble," in fact, as the Tommies would say, and it gave +one rather a funny sinking feeling in one's tummy! A shell might come +whizzing along so easily just as the last one had done<ins title="Transcriber's Note: original missing period">.</ins> Someone at that +moment said "Let's go back," and with that all my fears vanished in a +moment as if by magic. "Rather not, this is what we've come for," said a +F.A.N.Y., "hurry up and get in, it's no use staying here," and soon we +were whizzing along that road again and making straight for the steady +boom-boom, and from then onwards a spirit of subdued excitement filled +us all. Stray shells burst at intervals, and it seemed not unlikely they +were potting at us from Dixmude.</p> + +<p>We passed houses looking more and more dilapidated and the road got +muddier and muddier. Finally we arrived at the village of Ramscapelle. +It was like passing through a village of the dead—not a house left +whole, few walls standing, and furniture lying about haphazard. We +proceeded along the one main street of the village until we came to a +house with green shutters which had been <a name="Page_26" id="Page_26"></a>previously described to us as +the Belgian headquarters. It was in a better state than the others, and +a small flag indicated we had arrived at our destination.<a name="Page_27" id="Page_27"></a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IV" id="CHAPTER_IV"></a>CHAPTER IV</h2> + +<div class='center'><big>BEHIND THE TRENCHES</big></div> + + +<p>We got out and leaped the mud from the <i>pavé</i> to the doorstep, and an +orderly came forward and conducted us to a sitting room at the rear +where Major R. welcomed us, and immediately ordered coffee. We were +greatly impressed by the calm way in which he looked at things. He +pointed with pride to a gaily coloured print from the one and only "Vie" +(what would the dug-outs at the front have done without "La Vie" and +Kirchner?), which covered a newly made shell hole in the wall. He also +showed us places where shrapnel was embedded; and from the window we saw +a huge hole in the back garden made by a "Black Maria." Beside it was a +grave headed by a little rough wooden cross and surmounted by one of +those gay tasselled caps we had seen early that morning, though it +seemed more like last week, so much had happened since then.</p> + +<p>As it was only possible to go into the trenches at dusk we still had +some time to spare, and after drinking everybody's health in some +excellent benedictine, Major R. suggested we should make a tour of +inspection of the village. "The bombard<a name="Page_28" id="Page_28"></a>ment is over for the day," he +added, "so you need have no fear." I went out wondering at his certainty +that the Boche would <i>not</i> bombard again that afternoon. It transpired +later that they did so regularly at the same time every afternoon as +part of the day's work! There did come a time, however, when they +changed the programme, but that was later, on another visit.</p> + +<p>We made for the church which had according to custom been shelled more +than the houses. The large crucifix was lying with arms outstretched on +a pile of wreckage, the body pitted with shrapnel. The curé accompanied +us, and it was all the poor old man could do to keep from breaking down +as he led us mournfully through that devastated cemetery. Some of the +graves, even those with large slabs over them, had been shelled to such +an extent that the stone coffins beneath could clearly be seen, half +opened, with rotting grave-clothes, and in others even the skeletons had +been disinterred. New graves, roughly fashioned like the one we had seen +in the back garden at headquarters, were dotted all over the place. +Somehow they were not so sinister as those old heavily slabbed ones +disturbed after years of peace. The curé took me into the church, the +walls of which were still standing, and begged me to take a photo of a +special statue (this was before cameras were tabooed), which I did. I +had to take a "time" as the light was so bad, and quite by luck it came +out splendidly and I was able to send him a copy.<a name="Page_29" id="Page_29"></a></p> + +<p>It was all most depressing and I was jolly glad to get away from the +place. On the way back we saw a battery of <i>sept-cinqs</i> (French +seventy-fives) cleverly hidden by branches. They had just been moved up +into these new positions. Of course the booming of the guns went on all +the time and we were told Nieuport was having its daily "ration." We had +several other places to go to to deliver Hospital stores; also two +advanced dressing stations to visit, so we pushed off, promising Major +R. to be back at 6.30.</p> + +<p>We had to go in the direction of Dixmude, then in German occupation, and +the mud at this point was too awful for words, while at intervals there +were huge shell holes full of water looking like small circular ponds. +Luckily for us they were never right in the middle of the road, but +always a little to one side or the other, and just left us enough <i>pavé</i> +to squeeze past on, which was really very thoughtful of the Boche!</p> + +<p>The country looked indescribably desolate; but funnily enough there were +a lot of birds flying about, mostly in flocks. Two little partridges +quietly strutted across the road and seemed quite unperturbed!</p> + +<p>Further on we came across a dead horse, the first of many. It had been +hit in the flank by a shell. It was a sad sight; the poor creature was +just left lying by the side of the road, and I shall never forget it. +The crows had already taken out its eyes. I must say that that sight +affected me <a name="Page_30" id="Page_30"></a>much more than the men I had seen earlier in the day. There +was no one then to bury horses.</p> + +<p>We came to the little <i>poste de secours</i> and the officer told us they +had been heavily shelled that morning and he sent out an orderly to dig +up some of the fuse-tops that had fallen in the field beyond. He gave us +as souvenirs three lovely shell heads that had fused at the wrong time. +Everything seemed strangely unreal, and I wondered at times if I was +awake. He was delighted with the Hospital stores we had brought and +showed us his small dressing station, from which all the wounded had +been removed after the bombardment was over. We then went on to another +at Caeskerke within sight of Dixmude, the ruins of which could plainly +be seen. I found it hard to realize that this was really the much talked +of "front." One half expected to see rows and rows of regiments instead +of everything being hidden away. Except for the extreme desolation and +continual sound of firing we might have been anywhere.</p> + +<p>We were held up by a sentry further on, and he demanded the <i>mot de +jour</i>. I leant out of the car (it always has to be whispered) and +murmured "Gustave" in a low voice into his ear. "<i>Non, Mademoiselle</i>," +he said sadly, "<i>pas ça</i>." "Does he mean it isn't his own Christian +name?" I asked myself. Still it was the name we had been given at the +État Major as the pass word. I repeated it again with the same result. +"I assure you the Colonel himself at C—— gave it to me," I added +desperately.<a name="Page_31" id="Page_31"></a> He still shook his head, and then I remembered that some +days they had names of people and others the names of places, and +perhaps I had been given the wrong one. "Paris" I hazarded. He again +shook his head, and I decided to be firm and in a voice of conviction +said, "Allons, c'est 'Arras,' alors." He looked doubtful, and said, +"Perhaps with the English it is that to-day." He was giving me a +loophole and I responded with fervour, "Yes, yes, assuredly it is +'Arras' with the English," and he waved us past. I thought regretfully +how easily a German spy might bluff the sentry in a similar manner.</p> + +<p>Time being precious I salved my conscience about it as we drew up in +Pervyse and decided to make tea. I saw a movement among the ruins and +there, peeping round one of the walls, was a ragged hungry looking +infant about eight years of age. We made towards him, but he fled, and +picking our way over the ruins we actually found a family in residence +in a miserable hovel behind the onetime Hôtel de Ville. There was an old +couple, man and wife, and a flock of ragged children, the remnants of +different families which had been wiped out. They only spoke Flemish and +I brought out the few sentences I knew, whereupon the old dame seized my +arm and poured out such a flow of words that I was quite at a loss to +know what she meant. I did gather, however, that she had a niece of +sixteen in the inner room, who spoke French, and that she would go and +fetch her. The niece appeared at this moment <a name="Page_32" id="Page_32"></a>and was dragged forward; +all she would say, however, was "<i>Tiens, tiens</i>!" to whatever we asked +her, so we came to the conclusion that was the limit to her knowledge of +French, very non-committal and not frightfully encouraging. So with much +bowing and smiling we departed on our way, after distributing the +remainder of our buns among the group of wide-eyed hungry looking +children who watched us off. The old man had stayed in his corner the +whole time muttering to himself. His brain seemed to be affected, which +was not much wonder considering what he had been through, poor old +thing!</p> + +<p>On our way back to Ramscapelle we had the bad luck to slip off the +"bloomin' pavee" while passing an ammunition wagon; a thing I had been +dreading all along. I got out on the foot board and stepped, in the +panic of the moment, into the mud. I thought I was never going to "touch +bottom." I did finally, and the mud was well above my knees. The passing +soldiers were greatly amused and pulled me to shore, and then, stepping +into the slough with a grand indifference, soon got the car up again. +The evening was drawing in, and the land all round had been flooded. As +the sun set, the most glorious lights appeared, casting purple shadows +over the water: It seemed hard to believe we were so near the trenches, +but there on the road were the men filing silently along on their way to +enter them as soon as dusk fell. They had large packs of straw on their +backs which we learnt was to ensure their having a dry place to sit in; +and <a name="Page_33" id="Page_33"></a>when I saw the trenches later on I was not surprised at the +precaution.</p> + +<p>Mysterious "Star-lights" presently made their appearance over the German +trenches, gleamed for a moment, and then went out leaving the landscape +very dark and drear. We hurried on back to Ramscapelle, sentries popping +up at intervals to enquire our business. Floods stretched on either side +of the road as far as the eye could see. We were obliged to crawl at a +snail's pace as it grew darker. Of course no lights of any sort were +allowed, and the lines of soldiers passing along silently to their posts +in the trenches seemed unending; we were glad when we drew up once again +at the Headquarters in Ramscapelle.</p> + +<p>Major R. hastened out and told us that his own men who had been in the +trenches for four days were just coming out for a rest, and he wished we +could spare some of our woollies for them. We of course gladly assented, +so he lined them up in the street littered with débris in front of the +Headquarters. We each had a sack of things and started at different ends +of the line, giving every man a pair of socks, a muffler or scarf, +whichever he most wanted. In nearly every case it was socks; and how +glad and grateful they were to get them! It struck me as rather funny +when I noticed cards in the half-light affixed to the latter, texts +(sometimes appropriate, but more often not) and verses of poetry. I +thought of the kind hands that had knitted them in far away England and +wondered if the knitters <a name="Page_34" id="Page_34"></a>had ever imagined their things would be given +out like this, to rows of mud-stained men standing amid shell-riddled +houses on a dark and muddy road, their words of thanks half-drowned in +the thunder of war.<a name="Page_35" id="Page_35"></a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_V" id="CHAPTER_V"></a>CHAPTER V</h2> + +<div class='center'><big>IN THE TRENCHES</big></div> + + +<p>Major R., who is a great admirer of things English, suddenly gave the +command to his men, and out of compliment to us "It's a long way to +Tipararee" rang out. The pronunciation of the words was most odd and we +listened in wonder; the Major's chest however positively swelled with +pride, for he had taught them himself! We assured him, tactfully, the +result was most successful.</p> + +<p>We returned to the Headquarters and sorted out stores for the trenches. +The Major at that moment received a telephone message to say a farm in +the Nieuport direction was being attacked. We looked up from our work +and saw the shells bursting like fireworks, the noise of course was +deafening. We soon got accustomed to it and besides had too much to do +to bother. When all was ready, we were given our instructions—we were +to keep together till we had passed through the village when the doctor +would be there to meet us and, with a guide, conduct us to the trenches; +we were all to proceed twenty paces one after the other, no word was to +be spoken, and if a Verey light showed up we <a name="Page_36" id="Page_36"></a>were to drop down flat. I +hoped fervently it might not be in a foot of mud!</p> + +<p>Off we set, and I must say my heart was pounding pretty hard. It was +rather nervy work once we were beyond the town, straining our eyes +through the darkness to follow the figure ahead. Occasionally a sentry +popped up from apparently nowhere. A whispered word and then on we went +again. I really can't say how far we walked like this; it seemed +positively miles. Suddenly a light flared in the sky, illuminating the +surrounding country in an eerie glare. It didn't take me many minutes, +needless to say, to drop flat! Luckily it was <i>pavé</i>, but I would have +welcomed mud rather than be left standing silhouetted within sight of +the German trenches on that shell-riddled road. Finally we saw a long +black line running at right angles, and the guide in front motioned me +to stop while he went on ahead.</p> + +<p>I had time to look round and examine the place as well as I could and +also to put down my bundle of woollies that had become extremely heavy. +These trenches were built against a railway bank (the railway lines had +long since been destroyed or torn up), and just beyond ran the famous +Yser and the inundations which had helped to stem the German advance. I +was touched on the shoulder at this point, and clambered down into the +trench along a very slippery plank. The men looked very surprised to see +us, and their little dug-outs were like large rabbit hutches. I crawled +into one on my <a name="Page_37" id="Page_37"></a>hands and knees as the door was very low. The two +occupants had a small brazier burning. Straw was on the floor—the straw +we had previously seen on the men's backs—and you should have seen +their faces brighten at the sight of a new pair of socks. We pushed on, +as it was getting late. I shall never forget that trench—it was the +second line—the first line consisting of "listening posts" somewhere in +that watery waste beyond, where the men wore waders reaching well above +their knees. We squelched along a narrow strip of plank with the +trenches on one side and a sort of cesspool on the other—no wonder they +got typhoid, and I prayed I mightn't slip.</p> + +<p>We could walk upright further on without our heads showing, which was a +comfort, as it is extremely tiring to walk for long in a stooping +position. Through an observation hole in the parapet we looked right out +across the inundations to where the famous "Ferme Violette," which had +changed hands so often and was at present German, could plainly be seen. +Dark objects were pointed out to us sticking up in the water which the +sergeant cheerfully observed, holding his nose the meanwhile, were +<i>sales Boches</i>! We hurried on to a bigger dug-out and helped the doctor +with several <i>blessés</i> injured that afternoon, and later we helped to +remove them back to the village and thence to a field hospital. Just +then we began bombarding with the 75's. which we had seen earlier on. +The row was deafening—first a terrific bang, then a <a name="Page_38" id="Page_38"></a>swizzing through +the air with a sound like a sob, and then a plop at the other end where +it had exploded—somewhere. At first, as with all newcomers in the +firing line, we ducked our heads as the shells went over, to a roar of +delight from the men, but in time we gave that up. During this +bombardment we went on distributing our woollies all along the line, and +I thought my head would split at any moment, the noise was so great. I +asked one of the officers, during a pause, why the Germans weren't +replying, and he said we had just got the range of one of their +positions by 'phone, and as these guns we were employing had just been +brought up, the Boche would not waste any shells until they thought they +had our range.</p> + +<p>Presently we came to the officer's dug-out, and, would you believe it, +he had small windows with lace curtains! They were the size of pocket +handkerchiefs; still the fact remains, they <i>were</i> curtains. He showed +us two bits of a shell that had burst above the day before and made the +roof collapse, but since then the damage had been remedied by a stout +beam. He was a merry little man with twinkling eyes and very proud of +his little house.</p> + +<p>Our things began to give out at this point and we were not at the end of +the line by any means. It was heart breaking to hear one man say, "Une +paire de chaussettes, Mees, je vous en prie; il y a trois mois depuis +que j'en ai eu." (A pair of socks, miss, I beseech you, it's three +months since I had any). I gave him my scarf, which was all I had <a name="Page_39" id="Page_39"></a>left, +and could only turn sorrowfully away. He put it on immediately, +cheerfully accepting the substitute.</p> + +<p>We were forced to make our adieux at this point, as there was no reason +for us to continue along the line. We promised to bring more things the +next night and start at the point where we had left off. I thought +regretfully it would be some days before my turn came round again.</p> + +<p>The same care had to be observed on the return journey, and we could +only speak in the softest of whispers. The bombardment had now died away +as suddenly as it had begun. The men turned from their posts to whisper +"<i>Bon soir, bonne chance</i>," or else "<i>Dieu vous bénisse</i>." The silence +after that ear-splitting din was positively uncanny: it made one feel +one wanted to shout or whistle, or do something wild; anything to break +it. One almost wished the Germans would retaliate! That silent monster +only such a little way from us seemed just waiting to spring. We crawled +one by one out of the trenches on to the road, and began the perilous +journey homewards with the <i>blessés</i>, knowing that at any moment the +Germans might begin bombarding. As we were resting the Captain of the +battery joined us, and in the semi-darkness I saw he was offering me a +bunch of snowdrops! It certainly was an odd moment to receive a bouquet, +but somehow at the time it did not seem to be particularly out of place, +and I tucked them into the belt of my tunic and treasured them for days +afterwards—<a name="Page_40" id="Page_40"></a>snowdrops that had flowered regardless of war in the garden +of some cottage long since destroyed.</p> + +<p>Arrived once more at Headquarters we were pressed to a <i>petit verre</i> of +some very hot and raw liqueur, but nevertheless very warming, and very +good. I felt I agreed with the Irish coachman who at his first taste +declared "The shtuff was made in Hiven but the Divil himself invinted +the glasses!" We had got terribly cold in the trenches. After taking +leave of our kind hosts we set off for the Hospital.</p> + +<p>It was now about 1.30 a.m., and we were stopped no less than seventeen +times on our way back. As it was my job to lean out and whisper into the +sentry's "pearly," I got rather exasperated. By the time I'd passed the +seventeenth "Gustave," I felt I'd risk even a bayonet to be allowed to +snooze without interruption. The <i>blessés</i> were deposited in Hospital +and the car, once rid of its wounded load, sped through the night back +to Lamarck, and I wondered sleepily if my first visit to the trenches +was a reality or only a dream.<a name="Page_41" id="Page_41"></a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VI" id="CHAPTER_VI"></a>CHAPTER VI</h2> + +<div class='center'><big>THE TYPHOID WARDS</big></div> + + +<p>When I first came to Hospital I had been put as V.A.D. in Ward I, on the +surgical side, and at ten o'clock had heard "shop" (which by the way was +strictly debarred, but nevertheless formed the one and only topic of +conversation), from nurses and sisters in the Typhoid Wards, but had +never actually been there myself. As previously explained the three +Typhoid Wards—rooms leading one out of the other on the ground +floor—were in a separate building joined only by some outhouses to the +main portion, thus forming three sides of the paved yard.</p> + +<p>The east end of the Cathedral with its beautiful windows completed the +square, and in the evenings it was very restful to hear the muffled +sounds of the old organ floating up through the darkness.</p> + +<p>Sister Wicks asked me one day to go through these wards with her. It +must be remembered that at this early period there were no regular +typhoid hospitals; and in fact ours was the only hospital <a name="Page_42" id="Page_42"></a>in the place +that would take them in, the others having refused. Our beds were +therefore always full, and the typhoid staff was looked on as the +hardest worked in the Hospital, and always tried to make us feel that +they were the only ones who did any real work!</p> + +<p>It was difficult to imagine these hollow-cheeked men with glittering +eyes and claw-like hands were the men who had stemmed the German rush at +Liége. Some were delirious, others merely plucking at the sheets with +their wasted fingers, and everywhere the sisters and nurses were +hurrying to and fro to alleviate their sufferings as much as possible. I +shall always see the man in bed sixteen to this day. He was extremely +fair, with blue eyes and a light beard. I started when I first saw him, +he looked so like some of the pictures of Christ one sees; and there was +an unearthly light in his eyes. He was delirious and seemed very ill. +The sister told me he had come down with a splendid fighting record, and +was one of the worst cases of pneumonic typhoid in the ward. My heart +ached for him, and instinctively I shivered, for somehow he did not seem +to belong to this world any longer. We passed on to Ward III, where I +was presented to "Le Petit Sergent," a little bit of a man, so cheery +and bright, who had made a marvellous recovery, but was not yet well +enough to be moved. Everywhere was that peculiar smell which seems +inseparable from typhoid wards in spite, or perhaps because of, the many +disinfectants. We left by the <a name="Page_43" id="Page_43"></a>door at the end of Salle III and once in +the sunlight again, I heaved a sigh of relief; for frankly I thought the +three typhoid Salles the most depressing places on earth. They were +dark, haunting, and altogether horrible. "Well," said Sergeant Wicks +cheerfully, "what do you think of the typhoid Wards? Splendid aren't +they? You should have seen them at first." As I made no reply, she +rattled gaily on, "Well, I hope you will find the work interesting when +you come to us as a pro. to-morrow." I gasped. "Am I to leave the +<i>blessés</i>, then?" was all I could feebly ask—"Why, yes, didn't they +tell you?"—and she was off before I could say anything more.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>When one goes to work in France one can't pick and choose, and the next +morning saw me in the typhoid wards which soon I learnt to love, and +which I found so interesting that I hardly left them from that time +onwards, except for "trench duty."</p> + +<p>I was in Salle I at first—the less serious cases—and life seemed one +eternal rush of getting "feeds" for the different patients, "doing +mouths," and making "Bengers." All the boiling and heating was done in +one big stove in Salle II. Each time I passed No. 16 I tried not to look +at him, but I always ended in doing so, and each time he seemed to be +thinner and more ethereal looking. He literally went to skin and bone. +He must have been such a splendid man, I longed for him to get better, +but one morning when I passed, the <a name="Page_44" id="Page_44"></a>bed was empty and a nurse was +disinfecting the iron bedstead. For one moment I thought he had been +moved. "Where—What?" I asked, disjointedly of the nurse. "Died in the +night," she said briefly. "Don't look like that," and she went on with +her work. No. 16 had somehow got on my mind, I suppose because it was +the first bad typhoid case I had seen, and from the first I had taken +such an interest in him. One gets accustomed to these things in time, +but I never forgot that first shock. In the afternoons the men's +temperatures rose alarmingly, and most of the time was spent in +"blanket-bathing" which is about the most back-aching pastime there is; +but how the patients loved to feel the cool sponges passing over their +feverish limbs. They were so grateful and, though often too ill to +speak, would smile their thanks, and one felt it was worth all the +backaches in the world.</p> + +<p>It was such a virulent type of typhoid. Although we had been inoculated, +we were obliged to gargle several times during the day, and even then we +always had more or less of a "typy" throat.</p> + +<p>Our gallant sergeant, sister Wicks, who had organised and run the whole +of the three Salles since November '14, suddenly developed para-typhoid, +and with great difficulty was persuaded to go to bed. Fortunately she +did not have it badly, and in her convalescent stage I was sent to look +after her up at the "shop window." I was anxious to get her something +really appetising for lunch, <a name="Page_45" id="Page_45"></a>and presently heard one of the famous fish +wives calling out in the street. I ran out and bargained with her, for +of course she would have been vastly disappointed if I had given her the +original price she asked. At last I returned triumphant with two nice +looking little "Merlans," too small to cut their heads off, I decided. I +had never coped with fish before, so after holding them for some time +under the tap till they seemed clean enough, put them on to fry in +butter. I duly took them in on a tray to Wicks, and I'm sure they looked +very tasty. "Have you cleaned them?" she asked suspiciously. "Yes, of +course I have," I replied. She examined them. "May I ask what you +<i>did</i>?" she said. "I held them under the tap," I told her, "there didn't +seem anything more to be done," I added lamely.</p> + +<p>How she laughed—I thought she was never going to stop—and I stood +there patiently waiting to hear the joke. She explained at length and +said, "No, take them away; you've made me feel ever so much better, but +I'll have eggs instead, thank you." I went off grumbling, "How on earth +was I to know anyway they kept their tummies behind their ears!"</p> + +<p>That fish story went all over the hospital.</p> + +<p>Nursing in the typhoids was relieved by turns up to the trenches behind +Dixmude, which we looked forward to tremendously, but as they were +practically—with slight variations in the matter of shelling and +bombardments—a repetition of my first experience, there is no object in +recounting them here.<a name="Page_46" id="Page_46"></a></p> + +<p>The typhoid doctor—"Scrubby," by name; so called because of the +inability of his chin to make up its mind if it would have a beard or +not—was very amusing, without of course meaning to be. He liked to +write the reports of the patients in the Sister's book himself, and was +very proud of his English, and this is what occasionally appeared:</p> + +<p>Patient No. 12. "If the man sleep, let him sleep."</p> + +<p>Patient No. 13. "To have red win (wine) in the spoonful."</p> + +<p>Patient No. 14. "If the man have a temper (i.e. temperature) reduce him +with the sponges." And he was once heard to remark with reference to a +flat tyre: "That tube is contrary to the swelling state!"</p> + +<p>So far, I have made no mention of the men orderlies, who I must say were +absolute bricks. There was Pierre, an alert little Bruxellois, who was +in a bank before the war and kept his widowed mother. He was in constant +fear as to her safety, for she had been left in their little house and +had no time to escape. He was well-educated and most interesting, and +oh, so gentle with the men. Then there was Louis, Ziské, and Charlké, a +big hefty Walloon who had been the butcher on a White Star liner before +the war, all excellent workers.</p> + +<p>About this time I went on night duty and liked it very much. One was +much freer for one thing, and the sisters immediately became more human +(especially when they relied on the pros. to cook the midnight supper!), +and further there were no <a name="Page_47" id="Page_47"></a>remarks or reflections about the defects of +the "untrained unit" who "imagined they knew everything after four +months of war." (With reference to cooking, I might here mention that +since the fish episode Mrs. Betton and I were on more than speaking +terms!)</p> + +<p>There were several very bad cases in Salle II. One especially Sister +feared would not pull through. I prayed he might live, but it was not to +be. She was right—one night about 2 a.m. he became rapidly worse and +perforation set in. The dreadful part was that he was so horribly +conscious all the time. "Miske," he asked, "think you that I shall see +my wife and five children again?" Before I could reply, he continued, +"They were there <i>là bas</i> in the little house so happy when I left them +in 1914—My God," and he became agitated. "If it were not permitted that +I return? Do you think I am going to die, Miske?" "You must try and keep +the patient from getting excited," said the calm voice of the Sister, +who did not speak French. He died about an hour later. It was terrible. +"Why must they go through so much suffering?" I wondered miserably. If +they <i>are</i> to die, why can't it happen at once?"</p> + +<p>This was the first typhoid death I had actually witnessed. In the +morning the sinister coffin cart flapped into the yard and bore him off +to his last resting place. What, I wondered, happened to his wife and +five children?</p> + +<p>When I became more experienced I could tell <a name="Page_48" id="Page_48"></a>if patients were going to +recover or not; and how often in the latter case I prayed that it might +be over quickly; but no, the fell disease had to take its course; and +even the sisters said they had never seen such awful cases.<a name="Page_49" id="Page_49"></a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VII" id="CHAPTER_VII"></a>CHAPTER VII</h2> + +<div class='center'><big>THE ZEPPELIN RAID</big></div> + + +<p>Once while on night duty I got up to go to a concert in the town at the +theatre in aid of the <i>Orphelins de la Guerre</i>. I must say when the +Frenchman makes up his mind to have a charity concern he does it +properly, and with any luck it begins at 2.30 and goes on till about 9 +or possibly 10 p.m.</p> + +<p>This was the first we had attended and they subsequently became quite a +feature of the place. It was held on a Sunday, and the entire population +turned out <i>colimenté</i> and <i>endimanché</i> to a degree. The French and +Belgian uniforms were extraordinarily smart, and the Belgian guides in +their tasselled caps, cheery breeches, and hunting-green tunics added +colour to the scene.</p> + +<p>The Mayor of the town opened the performance with a long speech, the +purport of which I forget, but it lasted one hour and ten minutes, and +then the performance began. There were several intervals during which +the entire audience left the salle and perambulated along the wide +corridors round the building to greet their friends, and drink champagne +out of large flat glasses, served at fabulous prices by fair ladies of +the town clad in smart <a name="Page_50" id="Page_50"></a>muslin dresses. The French Governor-General, +covered with stars and orders, was there in state with his +aides-de-camp, and the Belgian General ditto, and everyone shook hands +and talked at once. Heasy and I stood and watched the scene fascinated. +Tea seemed to be an unheard of beverage. Presently we espied an +Englishman, very large and very tall, talking to a group of French +people. I remark on the fact because in those days there were no English +anywhere near us, and to see a staff car passing through the town was +quite an event. We were glad, as he was the only Englishman there, that +our people had chosen the largest and tallest representative they could +find. Presently he turned, and looked as surprised to see two khaki-clad +English girls in solar topees (the pre-war F.A.N.Y. headgear), as I +think we were to see him.</p> + +<p>The intervals lasted for half an hour, and I came to the conclusion they +were as much, if not more, part of the entertainment as the concert +itself.</p> + +<p>It was still going strong when we left at 7 p.m. to go on duty, and the +faithful "Flossie" (our Ford) bore us swiftly back to hospital and +typhoids.</p> + +<p>On the night of March 18th, 1915, we had our second Zeppelin raid, when +the Hospital had a narrow escape. (The first one occurred on 23rd +February, wiping out an entire family near the "Shop-window.") I was +still on night duty and, crossing over to Typhoids with some dressings, +noticed how velvety the sky looked, with not a star to be seen.</p> + +<p>We always had two orderlies on at night, and at<a name="Page_51" id="Page_51"></a> 12 o'clock one of them +was supposed to go over to the kitchen and have his supper, and when he +came back at 12.30 the other went. On this particular occasion they had +both gone together. Sister had also gone over at 12 to supper, so I was +left absolutely alone with the fifty patients<ins title="Transcriber's Note: original missing period">.</ins></p> + +<p>None of the men at that time were particularly bad, except No. 23, who +was delirious and showed a marked inclination to try and get out of bed. +I had just tucked him in safely for the twentieth time when at 12.30 I +heard the throb of an engine. Aeroplanes were always flying about all +day, so I did not think much of it. I half fancied it might be Sidney +Pickles, the airman, who had been to the Hospital several times and was +keen on stunt flying. This throbbing sounded much louder though than any +aeroplane, and hastily lowering what lights we had, with a final tuck to +No. 23, I ran to the door to ascertain if there was cause for alarm. The +noise was terrific and sounded like no engine I had ever heard in my +life. I gazed into the purple darkness and felt sure that I must see the +thing, it seemed actually over my head. The expanse of sky to be seen +from the yard was not very great, but suddenly in the space between the +surgical side and the Cathedral I could just discern an inky shadow, +whale-like in shape, with one small twinkling light like a wicked eye. +The machine was travelling pretty fast and fairly low down, and by its +bulk I knew it to be a Zeppelin. I tore back into the ward where most of +the men were awake, and <a name="Page_52" id="Page_52"></a>found myself saying, "<i>Ce n'est rien, ce n'est +qu'un Zeppelin</i>" ("It's nothing—only a Zeppelin"), which on second +thoughts I came to the conclusion was not as reassuring as I meant it to +be. By this time the others were on their way back across the yard, and +I turned to give 23 another tuck up.</p> + +<p>Such a long time elapsed before any firing occurred; it seemed to me +when I first looked out into the yard I must be the only person who had +heard the Zepp. What were the sentinels doing, I wondered? The +explanation I heard later from a French gunnery lieutenant. The man who +had the key to the ammunitions for the anti-aircraft guns was not at his +post, and was subsequently discovered in a drunken sleep—probably the +work of German spies—at all events he was shot at dawn the following +day. In such manner does France deal with her sons who fail her. As soon +as the Zepp. had passed over, the firing burst forth in full vigour to +die away presently. So far, apparently, no bombs had been dropped. I +suggested to Pierre we should relight one or two lamps, as it was +awkward stumbling about in complete darkness. "<i>Non, non, Miske</i>, he +will return," he said with conviction. Apparently, though, all seemed +quiet; and Sister suggested that after all the excitement, I should make +my way across the yard to get some supper. Pierre came with me, and at +that moment a dull explosion occurred. It was a bomb. The Zeppelin was +still there. The guns again blazed away, the row was terrific. Star +shells were thrown up to try and locate the Zepp., <a name="Page_53" id="Page_53"></a>and the sky was full +of showering lights, blue, green, and pink. Four searchlights were +playing, shrapnel was bursting, and a motor machine gun let off volleys +from sheer excitement, the sharp tut-tut-tut adding to the general +confusion. In the pauses the elusive Zepp. could be heard buzzing like +some gigantic angry bee. I wouldn't have missed it for anything. It +looked like a fireworks display, and the row was increasing each minute. +Every Frenchman in the neighbourhood let off his rifle with gusto.</p> + +<p>Just then we heard an extraordinary rushing noise in the air, like steam +being let off from a railway engine. A terrific bang ensued, and then a +flare. It was an incendiary bomb and was just outside the Hospital +radius. I was glad to be in the open, one felt it would be better to be +killed outside than indoors. If the noise was bad before, it now became +deafening. Pierre suggested the <i>cave</i>, a murky cellar by the gate, but +it seemed safer to stay where we were, leaning in the shadow against the +walls of Notre Dame. Very foolish, I grant you, but early in 1915 the +dangers of falling shrapnel, etc., were not so well known. These events +happened in a few seconds. Suddenly Pierre pointed skywards. "He is +there, up high," he cried excitedly. I looked, but a blinding light +seemed to fill all space, the yard was lit up and I remember wondering +if the people in the Zepp. would see us in our white overalls. The +rushing sound was directly over our heads; there was a crash, the very +walls against which we were leaning rocked, and to show what one's mind +<a name="Page_54" id="Page_54"></a>does at those moments, I remember thinking that when the Cathedral +toppled over it would just fit nicely into the Hospital square. +Instinctively I put my head down sheltering it as best I could with my +arms, while bricks, mortar, and slates rained on, and all around, us. +There was a heavy thud just in front of us, and when the dust had +cleared away I saw it was a coping from the Cathedral, 2 feet by 4! +Notre Dame had remained standing, but the bomb had completely smashed in +the roof of the chapel, against the walls of which we were leaning! It +was only due to their extreme thickness that we were saved, and also to +the fact that we were under the protection of the wall. Had we been +further out the coping would assuredly have landed on us or else we +should have been hit by the shrapnel contained in the bombs, for the +wall opposite was pitted with it. The dust was suffocating, and I heard +Pierre saying, "Come away, Mademoiselle." Though it takes so long to +describe, only a few minutes had elapsed since leaving to cross the +yard. The beautiful East window of the Cathedral was shivered to atoms, +and likewise every window in the Hospital. All our watches had stopped.</p> + +<p>Crashing over broken glass to the surgical side, we pantingly asked if +everyone was safe. We met Porter coming down the stairs, a stream of +blood flowing from a cut on her forehead. I hastily got some dressings +for it. Luckily it was only a flesh wound, and not serious. Besides the +night nurses at the Hospital, the chauffeurs and housekeeper slept in +<a name="Page_55" id="Page_55"></a>the far end of the big room at the top of the building. They had not +been awakened (so accustomed were they to din and noise), until the +crash of the bomb on the Cathedral, and it was by the glass being blown +in on to their stretcher beds that Porter had been cut; otherwise no one +else was hurt.</p> + +<p>I plunged through the débris back to the typhoids, wondering how 23 had +got on, or rather got out, and, would you believe it, his delirium had +gone and he was sleeping quietly like a child! The only bit of good the +Boche ever did I fancy, for the shock seemed to cure him and he got well +from that moment.</p> + +<p>The others were in an awful mess, and practically every man's bed was +full of broken glass. You can imagine what it meant getting this out +when the patients were suffering from typhoid, and had to be moved as +little as possible! One boy in Salle V had a flower pot from the +window-sill above fixed on his head! Beyond being slightly dazed, and of +course covered with mould, he was none the worse; and those who were +well enough enjoyed his discomfiture immensely. Going into Salle III +where there were shouts of laughter (the convalescents were sent to that +room) I saw a funny sight. One little man, who was particularly fussy +and grumpy (and very unpopular with the other men in consequence), slept +near the stove, which was an old-fashioned coal one with a pipe leading +up to the ceiling. The concussion had shaken this to such an extent that +accumulations of soot had come down and covered him from head to foot, +and he was <ins title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'a'">as</ins><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56"></a> black as a nigger! His expression of disgust was beyond +description, and he was led through the other two wards on exhibition, +where he was greeted with yells of delight. It was just as well, as it +relieved the tension. It can't be pleasant to be ill in bed and covered +with bits of broken glass and mortar, not to mention the uncertainty of +whether the walls are going to fall in or not. "Ah," said the little +Sergeant to me, "I have never had fear as I had last night." "One is +better in the trenches than in your Hospital, Miske," chimed in another. +"At least one can defend oneself."</p> + +<p>One orderly—a new one whom I strongly suspected of being an +<i>embusqué</i>—was unearthed in our rounds from under one of the beds, and +came in for a lot of sarcasm, to the great joy of the patients who had +all behaved <ins title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'splendily'">splendidly</ins>. With the exception of Pierre and the porter on +the surgical side, every man jack of them, including the Adjutant, had +fled to the <i>cave</i>. A subsequent order came out soon after which amused +us very much:—In the event of future air raids the <i>infirmiers</i> +(orderlies) were to fly to the <i>cave</i> with the convalescents while the +<i>très malades</i> were to be left to the care of <ins title="Transcriber's Note: Extraneous quotation mark removed">the <i>Mees anglaises</i>!</ins></p> + +<p>It took us till exactly 7 a.m. to get those three wards in anything like +order, working without stopping. "Uncle," who had dressed hurriedly and +come up to the Hospital from his Hotel to see if he could be of any use, +brought a very welcome bowl of Ivelcon about 2.30, which just made all +the difference, as I had had nothing since 7 the night <a name="Page_57" id="Page_57"></a>before. It's +surprising how hungry Zeppelin raids make one!</p> + +<p>An extract from the account which appeared in <i>The Daily Chronicle</i> the +following morning was as follows:—</p> + +<p>"One bomb fell on Notre Dame Cathedral piercing the vault of one of the +Chapels on the right transept and wreaking irreparable damage to the +beautiful old glass of its gothic windows. This same bomb, which must +have been of considerable size, sent débris flying into the courtyard of +the Lamarcq Hospital full of Belgian wounded being tended by English +Nurses.</p> + +<p>"Altogether these Yeomanry nurses behaved admirably, for all the menfolk +with the exception of the doorkeeper" (and Pierre, please), "fled for +refuge to the cellars, and the women were left. In the neighbourhood one +hears nothing but praise of these courageous Englishwomen. Another bomb +fell on a railway carriage in which a number of mechanics—refugees from +Lille—were sleeping, as they had no homes of their own. The effect of +the bomb on these unfortunate men was terrible. They were all more or +less mutilated; and heads, hands, and feet were torn off. Then flames +broke out on top of this carriage and in a moment the whole was one huge +conflagration.</p> + +<p>"As the Zeppelin drew off, its occupants had the sinister satisfaction +of leaving behind them a great glare which reddened the sky for a full +hour in contrast with the total blackness of the town."<a name="Page_58" id="Page_58"></a></p> + +<p>Chris took out "Flossie," and was on the scene of this last disaster as +soon as she could get into her clothes after being so roughly awakened +by the splinters of glass.</p> + +<p>When the day staff arrived from the "Shop-window," what a sight met +their eyes! The poor old place looked as if it had had a night of it, +and as we sat down to breakfast in the kitchen we shivered in the icy +blasts that blew in gusts across the room, for of course the weather had +made up its mind to be decidedly wintry just to improve matters. It took +weeks to get those windows repaired, as there was a run on what glaziers +the town possessed. The next night our plight in typhoids was not one to +be envied—Army blankets had been stretched inadequately across the +windows and the beds pulled out of the way of draughts as much as +possible, but do what we could the place was like an icehouse; the snow +filtered softly through the flapping blankets, and how we cursed the +Hun! At 3 a.m. one of the patients had a relapse and died.<a name="Page_59" id="Page_59"></a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VIII" id="CHAPTER_VIII"></a>CHAPTER VIII</h2> + +<div class='center'><big>CONCERNING BATHS, "JOLIE ANNETTE," "MARIE-MARGOT" AND "ST. INGLEVERT."</big></div> + + +<p>After this event I was sent back for a time to the <i>blessés graves</i> on +the surgical side on day duty. All who had been on duty that memorable +night had had a pretty considerable shock. It was like leaving one world +and stepping into another, so complete was the change from typhoids.</p> + +<p>The faithful Jefké was still there stealing jam for the patients, +spending a riotous Saturday night <i>au cinéma</i>, going to Mass next +morning, and then presenting himself in the Ward again looking as if +butter would not melt in his mouth!</p> + +<p>A new assistant orderly was there as well. A pious looking individual in +specs. He worked as if manual labour pained him, and was always studying +out of a musty little book. He was desperately keen to learn English and +spoke it on every possible occasion; was intensely stupid as an orderly +and obstinate as a mule. He was trying in the extreme. One day he told +me he was intended for higher things and would soon be a priest in the +Church. Sister Lampen, who was so quick and <a name="Page_60" id="Page_60"></a>thorough herself, found him +particularly tiresome, and used to refer to him as her "cross" in life! +One day she called him to account, and, in an exasperated voice said, +"What are you supposed to be doing here, Louis, anyway? Are you an +orderly or aren't you?" "<i>Mees</i>," he replied piously, rolling his eyes +upwards, "I am learning to be a father!" I gave a shriek of delight and +hastened up to tea in the top room with the news.</p> + +<p>We were continually having what was known as <i>alertes</i>, that the Germans +were advancing on the town. We had boxes ready in all the Wards with a +list on the lid indicating what particular dressings, etc., went in +each. None of the <i>alertes</i>, however, materialized. We heard later it +was only due to a Company of the gallant Buffs throwing themselves into +the breach that the road to Calais had been saved.</p> + +<p>There were several exciting days spent up at our Dressing Station at +Hoogstadt, and one day to our delight we heard that three of the +F.A.N.Y.'s, who had been in the trenches during a particularly bad +bombardment, were to be presented with the Order of Leopold II. A daily +paper giving an account of this dressing station headed it, in their +enthusiasm, "Ten days without a change of clothes. Brave Yeomanry +Nurses!"</p> + +<p>It was a coveted job to post the letters and then go down to the Quay to +watch the packet come in from England. The letters, by the way, were +posted in the guard's van of a stationary train <a name="Page_61" id="Page_61"></a>where Belgian soldiers +sorted and despatched them. I used to wonder vaguely if the train rushed +off in the night delivering them.</p> + +<p>There was a charm and fascination about meeting that incoming boat; the +rattle of chains, the clang as the gangway was fixed, the strange cries +of the French sailors, the clicking of the bayonets as the cordon formed +round the fussy passport officer, and lastly the excitement of watching +to see if there was a spy on board. The <i>Walmer Castle</i> and the +<i>Canterbury</i> were the two little packets employed, and they have +certainly seen life since the war began. Great was our excitement if we +caught sight of Field Marshal French on his way to G.H.Q., or King +Albert, his tall form stooping slightly under the cares of State, as he +stepped into his waiting car to be whirled northwards to <i>La Panne</i>.</p> + +<p>The big Englishman (accompanied by a little man disguised in very plain +clothes as a private Detective) also scanned every passenger closely as +he stepped on French soil, and we turned away disgustedly as each was +able to furnish the necessary proof that he was on lawful business. +"Come, Struttie, we must fly," and back we hurried over the bridge, past +the lighthouse, across the Place d'Armes, up the Rue de la Rivière and +so to Hospital once more.</p> + +<p>When things became more settled, definite off times were arranged. Up to +then sisters and nurses had worked practically all day and every day, so +great was the rush. We experienced some difficulty <a name="Page_62" id="Page_62"></a>in having baths, as +there were none up at the "Shop." Dr. Cools from the Gare Centrale told +us some had been fitted in a train down there, and permission was +obtained for us to use them. But first we were obliged to present +ourselves to the Commandant (for the Railway shed there had been turned +into an <i>Hôpital de Passage</i>, where the men waited on stretchers till +they were collected each morning by ambulances for the different +Hospitals), and ask him to be kind enough to furnish a <i>Bon pour un +bain</i> (a bath pass)! When I first went to the Bureau at the gare and saw +this Commandant in his elegant tight-fitting navy blue uniform, with +pointed grey beard and general air of importance, I felt that to ask him +for a "bath ticket" was quite the last thing on earth! He saw my +hesitation, and in the most natural manner in the world said with a bow, +"Mademoiselle has probably come for <i>un bon</i>?" I assented gratefully, +was handed the pass and fled. It requires some courage to face four +officials in order to have a bath.</p> + +<p>Arrived at the said train, one climbed up a step-ladder in to a truck +divided into four partitions, and Ziské, a deaf old Flamand, carried +buckets of boiling water from the engine and we added what cold we +wanted ourselves. You will therefore see that when anyone asked you what +you were doing in your free time that day and you said you were "going +to have a bath," it was understood that it meant the whole afternoon +would be taken up.</p> + +<p>At first we noticed the French people seemed a <a name="Page_63" id="Page_63"></a>little stiff in their +manner and rather on the defensive. We wondered for some time what could +be the reason, and chatting one day with Madame at the dug-out I +mentioned the fact to her.</p> + +<p>"See you, Mademoiselle, it is like this," she explained, "you others, +the English, had this town many years ago, and these unlettered ones, +who read never the papers and know nothing, think you will take +possession of the town once again." Needless to say in time this +impression wore off and they became most friendly.</p> + +<p>The Place d'Armes was a typical French marketplace and very picturesque. +At one corner of the square stood the town hall with a turret and a very +pretty Carillon called "Jolie Annette," since smashed by a shell. I +asked an old shopkeeper why the Carillon should be called by that name +and he told me that in 1600 a well-to-do <i>commerçant</i> of the town had +built the turret and promised a Carillon only on the condition that it +should be a line from a song sung by a fair lady called "Jolie Annette," +performing at a music hall or Café Chantant in the town at that time. +The inhabitants protested, but he refused to give the Carillon unless he +could have his own way, which he ultimately did. Can't you imagine the +outraged feelings of the good burghers?" <i>Que voulez-vous, +Mademoiselle</i>," the old man continued, shrugging his shoulders, "<i>Jolie +Annette ne chante pas mal, hein</i>?" and I agreed with him.</p> + +<p>I thought it was rather a nice story, and I often <a name="Page_64" id="Page_64"></a>wondered, when I +heard that little song tinkling out, exactly what "Jolie Annette" really +looked like, and I quite made up my mind on the subject. Of course she +had long side curls, a slim waist, lots of ribbons, a very full skirt, +white stockings, and a pair of little black shoes, and last but not +least, a very bewitching smile. It is sad to think that a shell has +silenced her after all these years, and I hope so much that someone will +restore the Carillon so that she can sing her little song once again.</p> + +<p>In one corner of the square was a house (now turned into a furniture +shop) where one of the F.A.N.Y.'s great-grandmothers had stayed when +fleeing with the Huguenots to England. They had finally set off across +the Channel in rowing boats. Some sportsmen!</p> + +<p>Market days on Saturdays were great events, and little booths filled up +the whole <i>place</i>, and what bargains one could make! We bought all the +available flowers to make the wards as bright as possible. In the +afternoons when there was not much to do except cut dressings, I often +sat quietly at my table and listened to the discussions which went on in +the ward. The Belgian soldier loves an argument.</p> + +<p>One day half in French, and half in Flemish, they were discussing what +course they would pursue if they found a wounded German on the +battlefield. "<i>Tuez-le comme un lapin</i>," cried one. "<i>Faut les +zigouiller tous</i>," cried another (almost untranslatable slang, but +meaning more or less "choke the lot").<a name="Page_65" id="Page_65"></a> "<i>Ba, non, sauvez-le p'is qu'il +est blessé</i>," cried a third to which several agreed. This discussion +waxed furious till finally I was called on to arbitrate. One boy was +rapidly working himself into a fever over the question. He was out to +kill any Boche under any conditions, and I don't blame him. This was his +story:</p> + +<p>In the little village where he came from, the Germans on entering had +treated the inhabitants most brutally. He was with his old father and +mother and young brother of eight—(It was August 1914 and his class had +not yet been called up). Some Germans marched into the little cottage +and shaking the old woman roughly by the arm demanded something to +drink. His mother was very deaf and slow in her movements and took some +time to understand. "Ha," cried one brute, "we will teach you to walk +more quickly," and without more ado he ran his sword through her poor +old body. The old man sprang forward, too late to save her, and met with +the same fate. The little brother had been hastily hidden in an empty +cistern as they came in. "Thus, Mademoiselle," the boy ended, "I have +seen killed before my eyes my own father and mother; my little brother +for all I know is also dead. I have yet to find out. I myself was taken +prisoner, but luckily three days later managed to escape and join our +army; do you therefore blame me, <i>Miske</i>, if I wish to kill as many of +the swine as possible?" He sank back literally purple in the face with +rage, and a murmur of sympathy went round the Ward.<a name="Page_66" id="Page_66"></a> His wound was not a +serious one, for which I was thankful, or he might have done some harm. +One evening I was wandering through the "Place d'Armes" when some +violins in a music shop caught my eye. I went in and thus became +acquainted with the family Tétar, consisting of an old father and his +two daughters. They were exceedingly friendly and allowed me to try all +the violins they had. At last I chose a little "Mirecourt" with a very +nice tone, which I hired and subsequently bought.</p> + +<p>In time Monsieur Tétar became very talkative, and even offered to play +accompaniments for me. He had an organ in a large room above the shop +cram full of old instruments, but in the end he seemed to think it might +show a want of respect to Madame his late wife (now dead two years), so +the accompanying never came off. For the same reason his daughter, who +he said "in the times" had played the violin well, had never touched her +instrument since the funeral.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>There was one special song we heard very often rising up from the Café +Chantant, in the room at the dug-out. When I went round there to have +supper with them we listened to it entranced. It was a priceless tune, +very catching and with lots of go; I can hear it now. I was determined +to try and get a copy, and went to see Monsieur Tétar about it one day. +I told him we did not know the name, but this was the tune and hummed it +accordingly.<a name="Page_67" id="Page_67"></a> A French Officer looking over some music in a corner +became convulsed and hurriedly ducked his head into the pages, and I +began to wonder if it was quite the thing to ask for.</p> + +<p>Monsieur Tétar appeared to be somewhat scandalized, and exclaimed, "I +know it, Mademoiselle, that song calls itself <i>Marie-Margot la +Cantinière</i>, but it is, let me assure you, of a certainty not for the +young girls!" No persuasion on my part could produce it, so our +acquaintance with the fair <i>Marie-Margot</i> went no further than the tune.</p> + +<p>The extreme gratitude of the patients was very touching. When they left +for Convalescent homes, other Hospitals, or to return to the trenches, +we received shoals of post cards and letters of thanks. When they came +on leave they never failed to come back and look up the particular +<i>Miske</i> who had tended them, and as often as not brought a souvenir of +some sort from <i>là bas</i>.</p> + +<p>One man to whom I had sent a parcel wrote me the following letter. I +might add that in Hospital he knew no English at all and had taught +himself in the trenches from a dictionary. This was his letter:<br /><br /></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>"My lady" (Madame), "The beautiful package is safely +arrived. I thank you profoundly from all my heart. The shawl +(muffler) is at my neck and the good socks are at my feet as +I write. Like that one has well warmth.</p> + +<p>"We go to make some café also out of the package, <a name="Page_68" id="Page_68"></a>this +evening in our house in the trenches, for which I thank you +again one thousand times.</p> + +<p>"Receive, my lady, the most distinguished sentiments on the +part of your devoted</p></div> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 22em;">"</span><span class="smcap">Jean Prompler</span>,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 26em;">"1st Batt. Infanterie,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 30em;">"12th line Regiment."</span><br /> +<br /><br /></p> + + +<p>I remember my first joy-ride so well. "Uncle" took Porter and myself up +to St. Inglevert with some stores for our small convalescent home, of +which more anon.</p> + +<p>Before proceeding further, I must here explain who "Uncle" was. He +joined the Corps in 1914 in response to an advertisement from us in the +<i>Times</i> for a driver and ambulance, and was accepted immediately. He was +over military age, and had had his Mors car converted into an ambulance +for work at the front, and went up to Headquarters one day to make final +arrangements. There, to his intense surprise, he discovered that the +"First Aid Nursing Yeomanry" was a woman's, and not a man's show as he +had at first supposed.</p> + +<p>He was so amused he laughed all the way down the Earls Court Road!</p> + +<p>He bought his own petrol from the Belgian <i>Parc d'Automobiles</i>, and, +when he was not driving wounded, took as many of the staff for joy-rides +as he could.</p> + +<p>The blow in the fresh air was appreciated by us perhaps more than he +knew, especially after a hard morning in the typhoid wards.<a name="Page_69" id="Page_69"></a></p> + +<p>The day in question was bright and fine and the air, when once we had +left the town and passed the inevitable barriers, was clear and +invigorating, like champagne. We soon arrived at St. Inglevert, which +consisted of a little Church, an <i>Estaminet</i>, one or two cottages, the +<i>curé's</i> house, and a little farm with parish room attached. The latter +was now used as a convalescent home for our typhoid patients until they +were strong enough to take the long journey to the big camp in the South +of France. The home was run by two of the F.A.N.Y.s for a fortnight at a +time. It was no uncommon sight to see them on the roads taking the +patients out "in crocodile" for their daily walk! Many were the curious +glances cast from the occupants of passing cars at the two khaki-clad +English girls, walking behind a string of sick-looking men in uniform. +Probably they drove on feeling it was another of the unsolved mysteries +of the war!</p> + +<p>We found Bunny struggling with the stove in the tiny kitchen, where she +soon coaxed the kettle to boil and gave us a cup of tea. Before our +return journey to Hospital we were introduced to the Curé of St. +Inglevert, who was half Irish and half French. He spoke English well and +gave a great deal of assistance in running the home, besides being both +witty and amusing.</p> + +<p>We visited the men who were having tea in their "refectory" under +Cicely's supervision, and once more returned to work at Lamarck.<a name="Page_70" id="Page_70"></a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IX" id="CHAPTER_IX"></a>CHAPTER IX</h2> + +<div class='center'><big>TYPHOIDS AGAIN, AND PARIS IN 1915</big></div> + + +<p>I was on night duty once more in the typhoid wards with Sister Moring +when we had our third bad Zeppelin raid, which was described in the +papers as "the biggest attempted since the beginning of the war." It +certainly was a wonderful sight.</p> + +<p>The tocsin was rung in the <i>Place d'Armes</i> about 11.30 p.m. followed by +heavy gunfire from our now more numerous defences. Almost simultaneously +bomb explosions could be heard. We hastily wrapped up what patients were +well enough to move, and the orderlies carried them to the "cave." +Returning across the yard one of them called out that there were three +Zeppelins this time, but though the searchlights were playing, we saw no +sign of them, and presently the "all clear" was sounded.</p> + +<p>We had just got the patients from the <i>cave</i> back into bed again when +half an hour later a second alarm was heard. Our feelings on hearing +this could only be described as "terse," a favourite F.A.N.Y. +expression. If only the brutes would <a name="Page_71" id="Page_71"></a>leave Hospitals alone instead of +upsetting the patients like this.</p> + +<p>The sky presented a wonderful spectacle. Half a dozen searchlights were +playing, and shells were continually bursting in mid-air with a dull +roar. On our way back from the <i>cave</i> where we had again deposited the +patients, the searchlights suddenly focussed all three Zeppelins. There +they were like huge silver cigars gleaming against the stars. They +looked so splendid I couldn't help wishing I was up in one. It seemed +impossible to connect death-dealing bombs with those floating silver +shapes. Shrapnel burst all round them, and then the Zepps. seemed +suddenly to become alive, and they answered with machine guns, and the +patter of bullets and shrapnel could be heard all around. The Commander +of one of the Zepps. apparently fearing his airship might be hit, must +have given the order for all the bombs to be heaved overboard at once, +for suddenly twenty-one fell simultaneously! You can imagine what a +sight it was to see those golden balls of fire falling through the air +from the silver airship. They fell in a field just outside the town near +a little village called <i>Les Barraques</i>, the total bag being five cows!</p> + +<p>In spite of the three Zeppelins the Huns only succeeded in killing a +baby and an old lady. At last they were successfully driven off, and we +settled down hoping our excitements were over for the night, but no, at +3.30 a.m. the tocsin again rang out a third alarm! This was getting +beyond a <a name="Page_72" id="Page_72"></a>joke. The air duel recommenced, bombs were dropped, but +fortunately no serious casualties occurred. Luckily at that time none of +the patients were in a serious condition, so we felt that for once the +Hun had been fairly considerate. It was surprising to find the +comparatively little damage the town had suffered. We had several others +after this, but they are not worth recording here.</p> + +<p>One patient we had at that time was a Dutchman who had joined the +Belgian Army in 1914. He was a very droll fellow, and told me he was the +clown at one of the Antwerp Theatres and kept the people amused while +the scenes were being changed. I can quite believe this, for shouts of +laughter could always be heard in his vicinity. He was very good at +imitating animals, and I discovered later that among other +accomplishments he was also a ventriloquist. Sister and I, when the +necessary feeds had been given, used to sit in two deck chairs with a +screen shading the light, near the stove in the middle ward, until the +next were due. One night I heard a cat mewing. It seemed to be almost +under my chair, I got up and looked everywhere. Yes, there it was again, +but this time coming from under one of the men's beds. It was a piteous +mew, and I was determined to find it. I spent a quarter of an hour on +tiptoe looking everywhere. It was not till I heard a stifled chuckle +from the bed next the Dutchman's that I suspected anything, and then, +determined they should get no rise out of me, sat down quietly in my +chair again. Though that cat <a name="Page_73" id="Page_73"></a>mewed for the next ten minutes I never +turned an eyelash!</p> + +<p>I liked night duty very much, there was something exhilarating about it, +probably because I was new to it, and probably also because I slept like +a top in the daytime (when I didn't get up, breathe it quietly, to steal +out for rides on the sands!). I liked the walk across the yard with the +gaunt old Cathedral showing black against the purple sky, its poor East +window now tied up with sacking.</p> + +<p>One night about 1 a.m. I came in from supper in my flat soft felt +slippers, and from sheer joy of living executed, quite noiselessly, a +few steps for Sister's benefit down the middle of the Ward! It was a +great temptation, and needless to say not appreciated by Sister as much +as I had hoped. I heard subdued clapping from the clown's bed, and there +was the wretch wide awake (he was not unlike Morton to look at), sitting +up in bed and grinning with joy!</p> + +<p>The next morning as I was going off duty he called me over to him. "<i>He, +Miske Kinike</i>," he said, in his funny half Dutch, half Flemish, "if +after the war you desire something to do I will arrange that you appear +with me before the curtain goes up, at the Antwerp Theatre!" He made the +offer in all seriousness, and realizing this, I replied I would +certainly think the proposition over, and fled across to have breakfast +and tell them my future had been arranged for most suitably.</p> + +<p>The rolls, the long French kind, were brought each morning in "Flossie," +by the day staff on their <a name="Page_74" id="Page_74"></a>way up from the "shop" referred to in a +F.A.N.Y. alphabet as</p> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="R is for the Roll-Call"> +<tr><td align='left'>"R's for the 'Roll-call'"—a terrible fag—</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>"Fetching six yards of bread, done up in a bag!"</td></tr> +</table></div> + + +<p>The other meals were provided by the Belgians and supplemented to a +great extent by us. I am quite convinced we often ate good old horse. +One day, when prowling round the shops to get something fresh for the +night staff's supper, I went into a butcher's. The good lady came +forward to ask me what I wished. I told her; and she smiled agreeably, +saying, "Impossible, Mademoiselle, since long time we have only horse +here for sale!" I got out of that shop with speed.</p> + +<p>The orderlies on night duty, on the surgical side, were a lazy lot and +slept the whole night through, more often than not on the floor of the +kitchen. One night the incomparable "Jefké," who was worse than most, +was fast asleep in a dark spot near the big stove, when I went to get +some hot water. He was practically invisible, so I narrowly missed +stepping on his head, and, as it was, collapsed over him, breaking the +tea-pot. Cicely, the ever witty, quickly parodied one of the "Ruthless +Rhymes," and said:—</p> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="Pat who trod on"> +<tr><td align='left'>"Pat who trod on Jefké's face</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">(He was fast asleep, so let her,)</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Put the pieces back in place,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Saying, 'Don't you think he looks <i>much</i> better'?"</span></td></tr> +</table></div> + +<p>(I can't vouch for the truth of the last line.)<a name="Page_75" id="Page_75"></a></p> + +<p>One day when up at the front we attended part of a concert given by the +Observation Balloon Section in a barn, candles stuck in bottles the only +illuminations; we were however obliged to leave early to go on to the +trenches. Outside in the moonlight, which was almost as light as day, we +found the men busy sharpening their bayonets.</p> + +<p>Another day up at Bourbourg, where we had gone for a ride, on a precious +afternoon off, we saw the first camouflaged field hospital run by +Millicent, Duchess of Sutherland, for the Belgians—the tents were weird +and wonderful to behold, and certainly defied detection from a distance.</p> + +<p>Heasy and I were walking down the <i>Rue</i> one afternoon, which was the +Bond Street of this town, when the private detective aforementioned came +up and asked to see our identification cards. These we were always +supposed to carry about with us wherever we went. Besides the hospital +stamp and several others, it contained a passport photo and signature. +Of course we had left them in another pocket, and in spite of +protestations on our part we were requested to proceed to the citadel or +return to hospital to be identified. To our mortification we were +followed at a few yards by the detective and a soldier! Never have I +felt such an inclination to take to my heels. As luck would have it, tea +was in progress in the top room, and they all came down <i>en masse</i> to +see the two "spies." The only comfort we got, as they all talked and +laughed at our expense, was to hear one of the detectives <a name="Page_76" id="Page_76"></a>softly +murmuring to himself, "Has anyone heard of the Suffragette movement +here?"</p> + +<p>We learnt later that Boche spies disguised in our uniform had been seen +in the vicinity of the trenches. That the Boche took an interest in our +Corps we knew, for, in pre-war days, we had continually received +applications from German girls who wished to become members. Needless to +say they were never accepted.</p> + +<p>The first English troops began to filter into the town about this time, +and important "red hats" with brassards bearing the device "L. of C." +walked about the place as if indeed they had bought every stone.</p> + +<p>Great were our surmises as to what "L. of C." actually stood for, one +suggestion being "Lords of Creation," and another, "Lords of Calais"! It +was comparatively disappointing to find out it only stood for "Lines of +Communication."</p> + +<p>English people have a strange manner of treating their compatriots when +they meet in a foreign country. You would imagine that under the +circumstances they would waive ceremony and greet one another in +passing, but no, such is not the case. If they happen to pass in the +same street they either look haughtily at each other, with apparently +the utmost dislike, or else they gaze ahead with unseeing eyes.</p> + +<p>We rather resented this "invasion," as we called it, and felt we could +no longer flit freely across the Place d'Armes in caps and aprons as +heretofore.<a name="Page_77" id="Page_77"></a></p> + +<p>In June of 1915, my first leave, after six months' work, was due. +Instead of going to England I went to friends in Paris. The journey was +an adventure in itself and took fourteen hours, a distance that in peace +time takes four or five. We stopped at every station and very often in +between. When this occurred, heads appeared at every window to find out +the reason. <i>"Qu' est ce qu'il y'a?"</i> everyone cried at once. It was +invariably either that a troop train was passing up the line and we must +wait for it to go by, or else part of the engine had fallen off. In the +case of the former, the train was looked for with breathless interest +and handkerchiefs waved frantically, to be used later to wipe away a +furtive tear for those <i>brave poilus</i> or "Tommees" who were going to +fight for <i>la belle France</i> and might never return.</p> + +<p>If it was the engine that collapsed, the passengers, with a resigned +expression, returned to their seats, saying placidly: "<i>C' est la +guerre, que voulez-vous</i>," and no one grumbled or made any other +comment. With a grunt and a snort we moved on again, only to stop a +little further up the line. I came to the conclusion that that rotten +engine must be tied together with string. No one seemed to mind or +worry. "He will arrive" they said optimistically, and talked of other +things. At every station fascinating-looking <i>infirmières</i> from the +French Red Cross, clad in white from top to toe, stepped into the +carriage jingling little white tin boxes. "<i>Messieurs, Mesdames, pour +les blessés, s'il vous</i> <ins title="Transcriber's Note: Closing quote added"><i>plaît</i>,"</ins><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78"></a> they begged, and everyone fumbled +without a murmur in their pockets. I began with 5 francs, but by the +time I'd reached Paris I was giving ha' pennies.</p> + +<p>At Amiens a dainty Parisienne stepped into the compartment. She was clad +in a navy blue <i>tailleur</i> with a very smart pair of high navy blue kid +boots and small navy blue silk hat. The other occupants of the carriage +consisted of a well-to-do old gentleman in mufti, who, I decided, was a +<i>commerçant de vin</i>, and two French officers, very spick and span, +obviously going on leave. <i>La petite dame bien mise</i>, as I christened +her, sat in the opposite corner to me, and the following conversation +took place. I give it in English to save translation:</p> + +<p>After a little general conversation between the officers and the old +<i>commerçant</i> the latter suddenly burst out with:—"Ha, what I would like +well to know is, do the Scotch soldiers wear the <i>pantalons</i> or do they +not?" Everyone became instantly alert. I could see <i>la petite dame bien +mise</i> was dying to say something. The two French officers addressed +shrugged their shoulders expressive of ignorance in the matter. After +further discussion, unable to contain herself any longer, <i>la petite +dame</i> leant forward and addressing herself to the <i>commerçant</i>, said, +"Monsieur, I assure you that they do <i>not</i>!"</p> + +<p>The whole carriage "sat up and took notice," and the old <i>commerçant</i>, +shaking his finger at her said:<a name="Page_79" id="Page_79"></a></p> + +<p>"Madame, if you will permit me to ask, that is, if it is not indiscreet, +how is it that you are in a position to know?"</p> + +<p>The officers were enjoying themselves immensely. <i>La petite dame</i> +hastened to explain. "Monsieur, it is that my window at Amiens she +overlooks the ground where these Scotch ones play the football, and then +a good little puff of wind and one sees, but of course," she concluded +virtuously, "I have not regarded, Monsieur."</p> + +<p>They all roared delightedly, and the old <i>commerçant</i> said something to +the effect of not believing a word. "Be quiet, Monsieur, I pray of you," +she entreated, "there is an English young girl in the corner and she +will of a certainty be shocked." "<i>Bah, non</i>," replied the old +<i>commerçant</i>, "the English never understand much of any language but +their own" (I hid discreetly behind my paper).</p> + +<p>As we neared Paris there was another stop before the train went over the +temporary bridge that had been erected over the Oise. We could still see +the other that had been blown up by the French in order to stem the +German advance on Paris in August 1914. This shattered bridge brought it +home to me how very near to Paris the Boche had been.</p> + +<p>As I stepped out of the Gare du Nord all the people were looking +skywards at two Taubes which had just dropped several bombs. Some +welcome, I thought to myself!</p> + +<p>Paris in War time at that period (June, 1915)<a name="Page_80" id="Page_80"></a> wore rather the +appearance of a deserted city. Every third shop had notices on the doors +to the effect that the owners were absent at the war. Others were being +run by the old fathers and mothers long since retired, who had come up +from the country to "carry on." My friend told me that when she had +returned to Paris in haste from the country, at the beginning of the +war, there was not a taxi available, as they were all being used to rush +the soldiers out to the battle of the Marne. Fancy taxi-ing to a +battlefield!</p> + +<p>The Parisians were very interested to see a girl dressed in khaki, and +discussed each item of my uniform in the Métro quite loudly, evidently +under the same impression as the old <i>commerçant</i>! My field boots took +their fancy most. <i>"Mon Dieu!"</i> they would exclaim. "Look then, she +wears the big boots like a man. It is <i>chic</i> that, hein?"</p> + +<p>In one place, an old curiosity shop in the Quartier St. Germain, the +woman was so thrilled to hear I was an <i>infirmière</i> she insisted on me +keeping an old Roman lamp I was looking at as a souvenir, because her +mother had been one in 1870. War has its compensations.</p> + +<p>I also discovered a Monsieur Jollivet at Neuilly, a job-master who had a +few horses left, among them a little English mare which I rode. We went +in the Bois nearly every morning and sometimes along the race course at +Longchamps, the latter very overgrown. "Ah, Mademoiselle," he would +exclaim, "if it was only in the ordinary times, how different <a name="Page_81" id="Page_81"></a>would all +this look, and how Mademoiselle would amuse herself at the races!"</p> + +<p>One day walking along near the "Observatoire" an old nun stopped me, and +in broken English asked how the war was progressing. (The people in the +shops did too, as if I had come straight from G.H.Q.!) She then went on +to tell me that she was Scotch, but had never been home for thirty-five +years! I could hardly believe it, as she talked English just as a +Frenchwoman might. She knew nothing at all as to the true position of +affairs, and asked me to come in to the Convent to tea one day, which I +did.</p> + +<p>They all clustered round me when I went, asking if I had met their +relation so-and-so, who was fighting at the front. They were frightfully +disappointed when I said "No, I had not."</p> + +<p>I went to their little chapel afterwards, and later on, the Reverend +Mother, who was so old she had to be supported on each side by two nuns, +came to a window and gave me her blessing. My Scotch friend before I +left pressed a little oxidized silver medal of the Virgin into my hand, +which she assured me would keep me in safety. I treasured it after that +as a sort of charm and always had it with me.</p> + +<p>A few days later I was introduced to Warneford, V.C., the man who had +brought down the first Zeppelin. He had just come to Paris to receive +the <i>Légion d'Honneur</i> and the <i>Croix de Guerre</i>, and was being fêted +and spoilt by everybody. He promised towards the end of the week, when +he had worked off some of his engagements, to take me up—strictly +<a name="Page_82" id="Page_82"></a>against all rules of course—for a short flight. I met him on the +Monday, I think, and on the Wednesday he crashed while making a trial +flight, and died after from his injuries, in hospital. It seemed +impossible to believe when first I heard of it—he was so full of life +and high spirits.</p> + +<p>We went to Versailles one day. The loneliness and general air of +desertion that overhang the place seemed more intensified by the war +than ever. The grass had grown very long, the air was sultry, and not a +ripple stirred the calm surface of the lake. It seemed somehow very like +the Palace of a Sleeping Beauty. I wondered if the ghost of Marie +Antoinette ever revisited the Trianon or flitted up and down the wooden +steps of the miniature farm where she had played at being a dairymaid?</p> + +<p>As we wended our way back in the evening, the incessant croaking of the +frogs in the big lake was the only sound that broke the stillness. There +was something sinister about it as if they were croaking "We are the +only creatures who now live in this beautiful place, and it is we, with +our ugly voices and bodies, who have triumphed over the beautiful vain +ladies who threw pebbles at us long ago from the terraces."—We turned +away, and the croaking seemed to become more triumphant and echoed in +our ears long after we had left the vicinity.</p> + +<p>At night, in Paris, aeroplanes flew round and round the city on scout +duty switching on lights at intervals that made them look like +travelling stars. They often woke one up, and the noise of <a name="Page_83" id="Page_83"></a>the engines +was so loud it seemed sometimes as if they must fly straight through +one's window. I used to love to get up early and go down to "Les +Halles," the French Covent Garden, and come back with literally armfuls +of roses of all shades of delicate pink, white, and cream. Tante Rose +(the only name I ever knew her by) was a widow, and the aunt of my +friend. She was one of the <i>vieille noblesse</i> and had a charming house +in Passy, and was as interesting to listen to as a book. She asked me +one day if I would care to go with her to a Memorial Service at the +<i>Sacré-C[oe]ur</i>. Looking out of her windows we could see the church +dominating Paris from the heights of Montmartre, the mosque-like +appearance of its architecture gleaming white against the sky.</p> + +<p>At that moment the dying rays of the sun lit up the golden cross +surmounting it, and presently the whole building became a delicate rose +pink and seemed almost to float above the city, all blue in the haze of +the evening below. It was wonderful, and a picture I shall always carry +in my mind. I replied I would love to go, and on the following day we +toiled up the dazzling white steps. The service was, I think, the most +impressive I have ever attended. Crowds flocked to it, all or nearly all +in that uniform of deep-mourning incomparably <i>chic</i>, incomparably +French, and gaining daily in popularity. Long before the service began +the place was packed to suffocation. Tante Rose looked proudly round and +whispered to me, "Ah, my little one, you see here those who <a name="Page_84" id="Page_84"></a>have given +their all for France." Indeed it seemed so on looking round at those +white-faced women; and how I wished that <i>some</i> of the people in +England, who had not been touched by the war, or who at that time (June, +1915) hardly realized there even was one, could have been present.</p> + +<p>During another visit to Tante Rose's I heard the following story from an +<i>infirmière</i>. A wounded German was brought to one of the French +hospitals. In the bed adjoining lay a Zouave who had had his leg +amputated. The Boche asked for a drink of hot water, the hottest +obtainable. When the Nurse brought it to him he took the glass, and +without a word threw the scalding contents in her face! The Zouave who +had witnessed this brutal act, with a snarl of rage, leapt from his bed +on to the German's and throttled him to death there and then. The other +<i>blessés</i> sat up in bed and cheered. "It is thus," she continued calmly, +"that our brave soldiers avenge us from these brutes." I looked at her +as she sat there so dainty in her white uniform, quite undismayed by +what had taken place. It was just another of those little incidents that +go to show the spirit of the French nation.</p> + +<p>Some American friends of mine took me over their hospital for French +soldiers at Neuilly. It was most beautifully equipped from top to +bottom, and I was especially interested in the dental department where +they fitted men with false jaws, etc. Every comfort was provided, and +some of the patients were lying out on balconies under large umbrellas, +<a name="Page_85" id="Page_85"></a>smiling happily at all who passed. I sighed when I thought of the +makeshifts we had <i>là bas</i> at Lamarck.</p> + +<p>I also went to a sort of review held in the Bois of an <i>Ambulance +Volant</i> (ambulance unit to accompany a Battalion), given and driven by +Americans. They also had a field operating theatre. These drivers were +all voluntary workers, and were Yale and Harvard men who had come over +to see what the "show" was really like. Some of them later joined the +French Army, and one the famous "Foreign Legion," and others went back +to the U.S.A. to make shells.</p> + +<p>It was very interesting to hear about the "Foreign Legion." In peace +time most of the people who join it are either fleeing from justice, or +they have no more interest in life and don't care what becomes of them. +It is composed of dare-devils of all nationalities, and the discipline +is of the severest. They are therefore among the most fearless fighters +in the world, and always put in a tight place on the French front. There +is one man at the enlisting <ins title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'depôt'">dépôt</ins> who is a wonderful being, and can size +up a new recruit at a glance. He is known as "Le Sphinx." You must give +him your real name and reason for joining the Legion, and in exchange he +gives you a number by which henceforth you are known. He knows the +secrets of all the Legion, and they are never divulged to a living soul; +he never forgets, nor do they ever pass his lips. One of the most +cherished souvenirs I have is a plain brass button <a name="Page_86" id="Page_86"></a>with the inscription +"Légion Étrangère" printed round it in raised letters.</p> + +<p>As early as June, 1915, the French were showing what relics they had +brought back from the battlefields. No better place than the +"Invalides," with Napoleon's tomb towering above, could have been chosen +for their display. Part of the courtyard was taken up by captured guns, +and in two separate corners a "Taube," and a German scout machine, with +black crosses on their wings, were tethered like captured birds. There +the widows, leading their little sons by the hand, came dry-eyed to show +young France what their fathers had died in capturing for the glory of +<i>La Patrie</i>.</p> + +<p>"Dost thou know, Maman," I heard one mite saying, "I would like well to +mount astride that cannon there," indicating a huge 7.4, but the woman +only smiled the saddest smile I have ever seen, and drew him over to +gaze at the silvery remains of the Zeppelin that had been brought down +on the Marne.</p> + +<p>The rooms leading off the corridors above were all filled with souvenirs +and helmets, and in another, the captured flags of some of the most +famous Prussian Regiments were spread out in all their glory of gold and +silver embroideries and tassels.</p> + +<p>We went on to see Napoleon's tomb, which made an impression on me which +I shall never forget. The sun was just in the right quarter. As we +entered the building, the ante-room seemed purposely dark<a name="Page_87" id="Page_87"></a>ened to form +the most complete contrast with the inner; where the sun, streaming +through the wonderful glass windows, shone with a steady shaft of blue +light, almost ethereal in colouring, down into the tomb where the great +Emperor slept.<a name="Page_88" id="Page_88"></a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_X" id="CHAPTER_X"></a>CHAPTER X</h2> + +<div class='center'><big>CONCERNING A CONCERT, CANTEEN WORK, HOUSEKEEPING, THE ENGLISH CONVOY, +AND GOOD-BYE LAMARCK</big></div> + + +<p>When I returned to the hospital the "English Invasion" of the town was +an accomplished fact, and the Casino had been taken over as a hospital +for our men. In the rush after Festubert, we were very proud to be +called upon to assist for the time-being in transporting wounded, as the +British Red Cross ambulances had more than they could cope with. This +was the first official driving we did and was to lead to greater things.</p> + +<p>The heat that summer was terrific, so five of us clubbed together and +rented a Chalet on the beach, which was christened <i>The Filbert</i>. We +bathed in our off time (when the jelly fish permitted, for, whenever it +got extra warm, a whole plague of them infested the sea, and hot vinegar +was the only cure for their stinging bites; of course we only found this +out well on into the jelly-fish season!). We gave tea parties and supper +parties there, weather and work permitting, and it proved the greatest +boon to us after long hours in hospital.<a name="Page_89" id="Page_89"></a></p> + +<p>As we were never free to use it in the morning we lent it to some +friends, and one day a fearful catastrophe happened. Fresh water was as +hard to get as in a desert, and the only way to procure any was to bribe +French urchins to carry it in large tin jugs from a spring near the +Casino. These people, one of whom was the big Englishman, after running +up from the sea used the water they saw in the jugs to wash the sand off +(after all, quite a natural proceeding) and then, in all ignorance of +their fearful crime, virtuously filled them up again, <i>but</i> from the +sea!</p> + +<p>That afternoon Lowson happened to be giving a rather swell and +diplomatic tea party. Gaily she filled the kettle and set it on the +stove and then made the tea. The Matron of the hospital took a sip and +the Colonel ditto, and then they both put their cups down—(I was not +present, but as <i>my</i> friends committed the crime, you may be sure I +heard all about it, and feel as if I had been). Of course the generally +numerous French urchins were nowhere in sight, and everyone went home +from that salt-water tea party with a terrible thirst!</p> + +<p>A Remount Camp was established at Fort Neuillay. It was an interesting +fact that the last time the fort had been used was by English troops +when that part of the coast was ours. One of the officers there +possessed a beagle called "Flanders." She was one of the survivors of +that famous pack taken over in 1914 that so staggered our allies. One +glorious "half-day" off duty, riding across some fields <a name="Page_90" id="Page_90"></a>we started a +beautiful hare. Besides "Flanders" there was a terrier and a French dog +of uncertain breed, and in two seconds the "pack" was in full cry after +"puss," who gave us the run of our lives. Unfortunately the hunt did not +end there, as some French farmers, not accustomed to the rare sight of +half a couple and two mongrels hot after a hare scudding across their +fields, lodged a complaint! When the owner of the beagle was called up +by the Colonel for an explanation he explained himself in this wise.</p> + +<p>"It was like this, Sir, the beagle got away after the hare, and we +thought it best to follow up to bring her back. You see, Sir, don't +you?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I <i>do</i> see," said the Colonel, with a twinkle. "Well, don't let it +happen again, or she must be destroyed."</p> + +<p>A Y.M.C.A. was also established, and Mr. Sitters, the organiser, begged +us to get up a concert party and amuse the men. In those days Lena +Ashwell's parties were quite unknown, and the men often had to rely on +themselves for entertainment. Our free time was very precious, and we +were often so tired it was a great undertaking to organise rehearsals, +but this Sergt. Wicks did, and very soon we had quite a good show going.</p> + +<p>One day Mr. Sitters obtained passes for us to go far up into the English +lines, and for days beforehand rehearsals were held in the oddest +places<ins title="Transcriber's Note: Original was a comma">.</ins> Up to the last minute we were on duty in the wards, and all +those who could gave a helping hand to get <a name="Page_91" id="Page_91"></a>us off—seven in all, as +more could not be spared. It was pouring with rain, but we did not mind. +We had had such a rush to get ready and collect such properties as we +needed that, as often happens on these occasions, we were all in the +highest spirits and the show was bound to go well.</p> + +<p>We sped along in the ambulance, "Uncle" driving, and picking up Mr. +Sitters <i>en route</i>. Our only pauses were at the barriers of the town, +and on we went again. We had been doing a good 35 and had slowed up to +pass some vehicles going over a bridge, when the pin came out of the +steering rod. If we had not slowed up I can't imagine there would have +been much of the concert party left to perform!</p> + +<p>We pulled up and began to look for it, hoping, as it had just happened, +we might see it lying on the road. Luckily for us at that moment an +English officer drove up and stopped to see if he could be of any help. +He heard where we were bound for, and, as time was getting on, instantly +suggested we should borrow his car and driver and he would wait until it +came back. Mr. Sitters was only too delighted to accept the offer as it +was getting so late.</p> + +<p>He suggested that four of us should get into the officer's car and go +ahead with him and begin the show, leaving the others to follow. We were +a little dubious as our Lieutenant, Sister Lampen, and "Auntie" (the +Matron) were over the brow of the hill searching for the missing pin! +There seemed nothing else to be done, however, so in we all <a name="Page_92" id="Page_92"></a>bundled. +The officer was very sporting and wished us "good luck" as we sped off +in his car.</p> + +<p>Farther along, as we got nearer the front, all the sentries were English +which seemed very strange to us. Passing through a village where a lot +of our troops were billeted they gazed in wonder and amazement at the +sight of English girls in that district.</p> + +<p>One incident we thought specially funny—It may not seem particularly so +now, but when you think that for months past we had only had dealings +with French and Belgian soldiers, you will understand how it amused us. +Outside an <i>Estaminet</i> was a horse and cart partly across the road, and +just sufficiently blocking it. The driver called out to a Tommy lounging +outside the Inn to pull it over a little. He gave a truly British grunt, +and went to the horse's head. Nothing happened for some seconds, and we +waited impatiently. Presently he reappeared.</p> + +<p>"Tied oop," he said laconically, in a broad north country accent, and +washed his hands of the matter. How we laughed. Of course a Frenchman +would have made the most elaborate apologies and explanations—a long +conversation would have ensued, and finally salutes and bows exchanged, +before we could have got on. "Tied oop" became quite a saying after +that.</p> + +<p>A F.A.N.Y. eventually coped with the matter, and on we went again. At +last we espied some tents in the distance and struck off down a rutty +lane <a name="Page_93" id="Page_93"></a>in their direction. Here we said "good-bye" to our driver +wondering if the other car did not turn up, just how we should get home. +We plunged through mud that came well over the tops of our boots and, +scrambling along some slippery duck boarding, arrived at the recreation +tent. No sign of the other car, so we were obliged to draft out a fresh +programme in the meantime.</p> + +<p>We took off our heavy coats while two batmen used the back of their +clasp knives to scrape off the first layers of mud (hardly the most +attractive footlight wear) from our boots. We heard the M.C. announcing +that the "Concert party" had arrived, and through holes in the canvas we +could see the tent was full to overflowing. Cheers greeted the +announcement, and we shivered with fright. There were hundreds there, +and they had been patiently waiting for hours, singing choruses to pass +the time.</p> + +<p>As we crawled through the canvas at the back of the stage they cheered +us to the echo. The platform was about the size of a dining table, which +rather cramped our style. We always began our shows with a topical song, +each taking a verse in turn, and then all singing the chorus. Towards +the end of our first song the Lieutenant and the others arrived. The +guns boomed so loudly at times the words were quite drowned. The +Programme consisted of Recitations, Songs at the Piano, Solo Songs, +Choruses, Violin, etc.; and to my horror I found they counted on me to +do charcoal drawings, <a name="Page_94" id="Page_94"></a>described out of courtesy as "Lightning +sketches!" (an art only developed and cultivated at the insistence of +Sergt. Wicks, who had once discovered me doing some in the wards to +amuse the men). There was nothing else for it, rolls of white paper were +produced and pinned on a table placed on end, and off I started. I first +drew them a typical Belgian officer with lots of Medals which brought +forth the remark that he "must have been through the South African +Campaign!" When I got to his boots, which I did with a good high light +down the centre, someone called out "Don't forget the Cherry Blossom +boot polish, Miss." "What price, <i>Kiwi</i>?" etc. When he was finished they +yelled "Souvenir, souvenir," so I handed it over amid great applause, +and felt full of courage! The Crown Prince went down very well and I was +grateful to him for having such a long nose. "We don't want him as no +souvenir," they called—"Wish we drew our pay as fast as you draw little +Willie, Miss." The Kaiser of course had his share, and in his first +stages, to their great joy, evidently resembled one of their officers! +(There's nothing Tommy enjoys quite so much as that.)</p> + +<p>After the "Nut" before the war (complete in Opera hat and monocle) and +"now" in khaki, I could think of nothing more, and boldly, but with some +trepidation, asked if any gentleman in the audience would care to be +drawn. You can imagine the scene. A tent packed with Tommies, every +available place taken up, and those who could not <a name="Page_95" id="Page_95"></a>find seats sitting on +the floor right up to the edge of the stage. Yells of delight greeted +the invitation, and several made as if to come forward; finally, one +unfortunate was heaved up from the struggling mass on to the stage. I +always noticed after this that whenever I offered to draw anyone it was +always a man with absolutely <i>no</i> particularly "salient" feature (I +think that is the term) who presented himself. This individual could +best be described as "sandy" in appearance, there was simply <i>nothing</i> +about him to caricature, I thought in despair! The remarks from the +audience, which had been amusing before, now fairly bristled with wit, +mostly of a personal nature. My subject became hotter and hotter as I +seized the charcoal pencil and set off. "Wot <i>would</i> Liza say?" called +out one in a horrified voice. "Don't smile, mate, yer might 'urt yer +fice," called another. "Take 'is temperature, Miss," they called, as the +perspiration began to roll off him in positive rivulets, and "<i>Don't</i> +forget 'is auburn 'air," they implored. As the poor unfortunate had just +been shorn like a lamb, preparatory to going into the trenches, this was +particularly cutting. The remark, however, gave me an inspiration and +the audience yelled delightedly while I put a few black dots, very wide +apart, to indicate the shortage. When finished we shook hands to show +there was no ill feeling, and quite cheerfully, with the expression of a +hero, he bore his portrait off amid cheers from the men.</p> + +<p>The show ended with a song, <i>Sergeant Michael<a name="Page_96" id="Page_96"></a> Cassidy</i>, which was +extremely popular at that time. For those who have not heard this +classic, it might be as well to give one or two verses. We each had our +own particular one, and then all sang the chorus.<br /><br /></p> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="Michael Cassidy"> +<tr><td align='left'>"You've heard of Michael Cassidy, a strapping Irish bhoy.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Who up and joined the Irish guards as Kitchener's pride and joy;</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">When on the march you'll hear them shout, 'Who's going to win the war?'</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">And this is what the khaki lads all answered with a roar:</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='center'><br /><i>Chorus</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 4em;">"Cassidy, Sergeant Michael Cassidy,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 4.5em;">He's of Irish nationality.</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 4.5em;">He's a lad of wonderful audacity,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 4.5em;">Sergeant Michael Cassidy (bang), V.C."</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='center'><br /><i>Last Verse</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>"Who was it met a dainty little Belgian refugee</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">And right behind the firing line, would take her on his knee?</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Who was it, when she doubted him, got on his knees and swore</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">He'd love her for three years or the duration of the War?"</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='center'><br /><i>Chorus</i>, etc.<br /><br /></td></tr> +</table></div> + + +<p>This was encored loudly, and someone called out for <i>Who's your lady +friend?</i> As there were not any within miles excepting ourselves, and +certainly none in the audience, it was rather amusing.</p> + +<p>We plunged through the mud again after it was all over and were taken to +have coffee and sandwiches in the Mess. We were just in time to see some +of the men and wish them Good Luck, as they were being lined up +preparatory to going into <a name="Page_97" id="Page_97"></a>the trenches. Poor souls, I felt glad we had +been able to do something to cheer them a little; and the guns, which we +had heard distinctly throughout the concert, now boomed away louder than +ever.</p> + +<p>We had a fairly long walk back from the Mess to where the Mors car had +been left owing to the mud, and at last we set off along the dark and +rutty road.</p> + +<p>One facetious French sentry insisted on talking English and flashing his +lantern into the back of the ambulance, saying, "But I <i>will</i> see the +face of each Mees for fear of an espion." He did so, murmuring +"<i>jolie—pas mal—chic</i>," etc.! He finally left us, saying: "I am an +officer. Well, ladies, good-bye all!" We were convulsed, and off we slid +once more into the darkness and rain, without any lights, reaching home +about 12, after a very amusing evening.</p> + +<p>Soon after this, we started our "Pleasant Sunday Evenings," as we called +them, in the top room of the hospital, and there from 8 to 9.30 every +Sunday gave coffee and held impromptu concerts. They were a tremendous +success, and chiefly attended by the English. They were so popular we +were often at a loss for seats. Of real furniture there was very little. +It consisted mostly of packing cases covered with army blankets and +enormous <i>tumpties</i> in the middle of the floor—these latter contained +the reserve store of blankets for the hospital, and excellent "pouffs" +they made.</p> + +<p>Our reputation of being able to turn our hands <a name="Page_98" id="Page_98"></a>to anything resulted in +Mr. Sitters—rushing in during 10 o'clock tea one morning with the news +that two English divisions were going south from Ypres in a few days' +time, and the Y.M.C.A. had been asked by the Army to erect a temporary +canteen at a certain railhead during the six days they would take to +pass through. There were no lady helpers in those days, and he was at +his wits' end to know where to find the staff. Could any of us be +spared? None of us <i>could</i>, as we were understaffed already, but +Lieutenant Franklin put it to us and said if we were willing to +undertake the canteen, as well as our hospital work, which would mean an +average of only five hours sleep in the twenty-four—she had no +objection. There was no time to get fresh Y.M.C.A. workers from England +with the delay of passports, etc., and of course we decided to take it +on, only too pleased to have the chance to do something for our own men. +A shed was soon erected, the front part being left open facing the +railway lines, and counters were put up. The work, which went on night +and day, was planned out in shifts, and we were driven up to the siding +in Y.M.C.A. Fords or any of our own which could be spared. Trains came +through every hour averaging about 900 men on board. There was just time +in between the trains to wash the cups up and put out fresh buns and +chocolates. When one was in, there was naturally no time to wash the +cups up at all, and they were just used again as soon as they were +empty. Canteen work with a vengeance!<a name="Page_99" id="Page_99"></a> The whole of the Highland +division passed through together with the 37th. They sat in cattle +trucks mostly, the few carriages there were being reserved for the +officers. It was amusing to notice that at first the men thought we were +French, so unaccustomed were they then to seeing any English girls out +there with the exception of army Sisters and V.A.D.s.</p> + +<p>"<i>Do chocolat, si voos play</i>," they would ask, and were speechless with +surprise when we replied sweetly: "Certainly, which kind will you have?"</p> + +<p>I asked one Scotchman during a pause, when the train was in for a longer +interval than usual, how he managed to make himself understood up the +line. "Och fine," he said, "it's not verra deefficult to <i>parley voo</i>. I +gang into one o' them Estaminays to ask for twa drinks, I say 'twa' and, +would you believe it, they always hand out three—good natured I call +that, but I hae to pay up all the same," he added!</p> + +<p>Naturally the French people thought he said <i>trois</i>. This story +subsequently appeared in print, I believe.</p> + +<p>One regiment had a goat, and Billy was let out for a walk and had +wandered rather far afield, when the train started to move on again. +Luckily those trains never went very fast, but it was a funny sight to +see two Tommies almost throttling the goat in their efforts to drag it +along, pursued by several F.A.N.Y.s (to make the pace), and give it a +final shove up into a truck!<a name="Page_100" id="Page_100"></a></p> + +<p>Towards the end of that week the entire staff became exceedingly short +tempered. The loss of sleep combined with hospital work probably +accounted for it; we even slept in the jolting cars on the way back. We +were more than repaid though, by the smiles of the Tommies and the +gratitude of the Y.M.C.A., who would have been unable to run the canteen +at all but for our help.</p> + +<p>It was at this period in our career we definitely became known as the +"F.A.N.N.Y.s"—"F.A.N.Y.," spelt the passing Tommy—"FANNY," "I wonder +what that stands for?"</p> + +<p>"First anywhere," suggested one, which was not a bad effort, we thought!</p> + +<p>The following is an extract from an account by Mr. Beach Thomas in a +leading daily:</p> + +<p>"Our Yeomanry nurses who, among other work, drive, clean, and manage +their own ambulance cars, are dressed in khaki. Their skirts are short, +their hats (some say their feet), are large! (this we thought hardly +kind). They have done prodigies along the Belgian front. One of their +latest activities has been to devise and work a peripatetic bath. By +ingenious contrivances, tents, and ten collapsible baths, are packed +into a motor car which circulates behind the lines. The water is heated +by the engine in a cistern in the interior of the car and offers the +luxury of a hot bath to several score men."</p> + +<p>This was our famous motor bath called "James," and belonging to "Jimmy" +Gamwell. She saw to the heating of the water and the putting up of the +<a name="Page_101" id="Page_101"></a>baths, with their canvas screens sloping from the roof of the ambulance +and so forming at each side a bathroom annexe. A sergeant marshalled the +soldiers in at one end and in about ten minutes' time they emerged +clean, rosy, and smiling at the other!</p> + +<p>The article continued: "These women have run a considerable hospital and +its ambulances entirely by themselves. The work has been voluntary. By +doing their own household work, by feeding themselves at their own +expense (except for a few supplementary Belgian Army rations), by +driving and cleaning their own cars, they have made such a success on +the economical side that the money laboriously collected in England has +all been spent on the direct service of the wounded, and not on +establishment charges."</p> + +<p>A Soup Kitchen brought out by Betty also belonged to our hospital +equipment. It did excellent work down at the Gare Centrale, providing +the wounded with hot soup on their arrival. Great was our excitement +when it was commissioned by a battery up the line. Betty and Lewis set +off in high spirits, and had the most thrilling escapes and adventures +in the Ypres section that would alone fill a book. They were with the +Battery in the early summer when the first gas attack swept over, and +caught them at "Hell fire Corner" on the Ypres-Menin road. It was they +who improvised temporary masks for the men from wads of cotton wool and +lint soaked in carbolic. Luckily they were not near enough to be +seriously gassed, but for <a name="Page_102" id="Page_102"></a>months after they both felt the after +effects. Even where we were, we noticed the funny sulphurous smell in +the air which seemed to catch one with a tight sensation in the throat, +and the taste of sulphur was also perceptible on one's lips. We were to +have taken turns with the kitchen, but owing to this episode the +authorities considered the work too dangerous, and after being +complimented on their behaviour they returned to Lamarck.</p> + +<p>We had a lot of daylight Taube raids, Zeppelins for the moment confining +all their efforts to England. It was fascinating to watch the little +round white balls, like baby clouds, where the shrapnel burst in its +efforts to bring the marauders down.</p> + +<p>Very few casualties resulted from these raids and we rather enjoyed +them. One that fell on the Quay killed an old white horse; and a French +sailor found the handle of the bomb among the shrapnel near by and +presented it to me. It seemed odd to think that such a short while +before it had been in the hands of a Boche.</p> + +<p>Jan was a patient we had who had entirely lost his speech and memory. We +could get nothing out of him but an expressive shrug of the shoulders +and a smile. He was a good looking Belgian of about twenty-four; and it +was my duty to take him out by the arm for a short walk each morning to +try and reawaken his interest in life.</p> + +<p>One day I saw the French Governor of the town coming along on horseback +followed by his <i>ordnance</i> (groom). How could I make Jan salute, I +wondered?<a name="Page_103" id="Page_103"></a> I knew the General was very particular about such things, and +to all appearance Jan was a normal looking individual. "<i>Faut saluer le +Général</i>, Jan," I said, while he was still some distance away, but Jan +only shrugged his shoulders as much as to say, "I might do it, but on +the other hand I might not!" What was I to do? As we drew nearer I again +implored Jan to salute. He shrugged his shoulders, so in desperation, +just as we came abreast I put my arm behind him and seizing his, brought +it up to the salute! The General, whom I knew, seemed fearfully amused +as he returned it, and the next time we met he asked me if I was in the +habit of going for a walk arm in arm with Belgian soldiers, who had to +be made to salute in such a fashion?</p> + +<p>One day we saw an aeroplane falling. At first it was hard to believe it +was not doing some patent stunt. Instead of coming down plumb as one +would imagine, it fell first this way and then that, like a piece of +paper fluttering down from a window. As it got nearer the earth though +where the currents of air were not so powerful, it plunged straight +downwards. Crowds witnessed the descent, and ran to the spot where it +had fallen.</p> + +<p>Greatly to their surprise the pilot was unhurt and the machine hardly +damaged at all. It had fallen just into the sea, and its wings were +keeping it afloat. The pilot was brought ashore in a boat, and when the +tide went down a cordon of guards was placed round the machine till it +was removed.<a name="Page_104" id="Page_104"></a></p> + +<p>Bridget, our former housekeeper at the hospital, went home to England in +the autumn for a rest and I was asked to take on her job. I moved to the +hospital and slept in the top room, behind our sitting-room, together +with the chauffeurs and Lieutenant Franklin.</p> + +<p>I had to see that breakfast was all right, and at 7.30 lay the table in +the big kitchen, get the jam out of our store cupboard, make the tea, +etc. Breakfast over, I had the top room to sweep and dust, the beds to +make, the linen to put out to air, and when that was done it was time to +get "10 o'clocks" ready. After that I sallied forth armed with a big +basket, a fat purse and a long list, and thoroughly enjoyed myself in +the market.</p> + +<p>In the afternoons there were always stacks of hospital mending to do, +and then tea to get ready. Sometimes as many as twelve people—French, +Belgian, or English—used to drop in, and it was no easy task to keep +that teapot going; however it was always done somehow. Luckily we had a +gas-ring, as it would have been an impossibility to run up and down the +sixty-nine steps to the kitchen every time we wanted more hot water.</p> + +<p>At six the housekeeper had to prepare the evening meal for 7.30, and the +Flemish cooks looked on with great amusement at my concoctions—a lot of +it was tinned stuff, so the cooking required was of the simplest. They +always cooked the potatoes for me out of the kindness of their hearts. +The reason they did not do the whole thing was that they were really +<a name="Page_105" id="Page_105"></a>off duty at six, but one of them usually stayed behind and helped.</p> + +<p>Work at that time began to slacken off considerably.—A large hut +hospital for typhoids was built and the casualties diminished, partly +because most of the Belgians had already been killed or wounded, and +partly because the remaining few had not much fighting to do except hold +the line behind the inundations. A faint murmur reached us that a +comb-out was going to take place among the British Red Cross Ambulance +drivers, and we wondered who would replace them if they were sent up the +line.</p> + +<p>The anniversary of the opening of Lamarck hospital took place on the +31st October, 1915, and we had a tremendous gathering, French, English, +and Belgians, described in the local rag as "<i>une réception intime, +l'élite de tout ce que la ville renferme</i>!" The French Governor-General +of the town, accompanied by two aides-de-camp, came in state. All the +guests visited the wards, and then adjourned for tea to the top room +where the housekeeper had to perform miracles with the gas-ring. A +speech of thanks was made to the Corps, and "Scrubby" (the typhoid +doctor) got up and in <i>quelques paroles émues</i> added his tribute as +well. It was a most successful show and we thought the French Governor +would never depart, he seemed to enjoy himself so much!</p> + +<p>Our next excitement was a big Allied concert given at the Theatre. +Several performances had <a name="Page_106" id="Page_106"></a>taken place there since the one I described, +but this was the first time Belgians, French, and English had +collaborated.</p> + +<p>Betty, who had been at Tree's School, was asked to recite, and I was +asked to play the violin. She also got up a one-act farce with +Lieutenant Raby. It is extremely hard to be a housekeeper for a hospital +and work up for a concert at the same time. The only place I could +practise in was the storeroom and there, surrounded by tins of McVitie's +biscuits and Crosse & Blackwell's jam, I resorted when I could snatch a +few minutes!</p> + +<p>At last the day of the concert arrived and we rattled up to the Theatre +in "Flossie." A fairly big programme had been arranged, and the three +Allies were well represented. There was an opera singer from Paris +resplendent in a long red velvet dress, who interested me very much, she +behaved in such an extraordinary way behind the scenes. Before she was +due to go on, she walked up and down literally snorting like a +war-horse, occasionally bursting into a short scale, and then beating +her breast and saying, "<i>Mon Dieu, que j'ai le trac</i>," which, being +interpreted, means, approximately, "My God, but I have got the wind up!" +I sat in a corner with my violin and gazed at her in wonder. Everything +went off very well, and we received many be-ribboned bouquets and +baskets of flowers, which transformed the top room for days.</p> + +<p>All lesser excitements were eclipsed when we heard further rumours that +the English Red Cross <a name="Page_107" id="Page_107"></a>might take us over to replace the men driving for +them at that time.</p> + +<p>MacDougal and Franklin, our two Lieutenants, were constantly attending +conferences on the subject.</p> + +<p>At last an official requisition came through for sixteen ambulance +drivers to replace the men by January 1, 1916. You can imagine our +excitement at the prospect. The very first women to drive British +wounded officially! It was an epoch in women's work in France and the +forerunner of all the subsequent convoys.</p> + +<p>Simultaneously an article appeared the 2nd December, 1915, headed +"'Yeowomen,' a triumph of hospital organisation," which I may be +pardoned for quoting:</p> + +<p>"A complete unit with sixteen to twenty motor ambulances, organised, +worked, and driven by women, will next month be added to the British +Army.</p> + +<p>"The women will drive their own cars and look after them in every way. +One single male mechanic, and that is all, is to be attached to the +whole unit. These ambulances may of course be summoned from their camp +to hurry over any type of winter-worn road to the neighbourhood of the +firing line.</p> + +<p>"What strength, endurance, and pluck such work demands from women can +easily be understood by anyone who has ever tried to swing a car in cold +weather or repair it by the roadside.</p> + +<p>"It is a very notable fact that for the first time under official +recognition women have been allowed to <a name="Page_108" id="Page_108"></a>share in what may be called a +male department of warfare.</p> + +<p>"The Nursing Yeomanry have just extracted this recognition from the War +Office and deserve every compliment that can be paid them; and the +success is worth some emphasis as one of a series of victories for women +workers and organisations, at the top of which is, of course, the +Voluntary Aid Detachment.</p> + +<p>"The actual work of these Yeomen nurses, who rode horseback to the +dressing stations when no other means of conveyance were available, has +been in progress in France and Belgium almost since war was declared. +Most of their work has been done in the face of every kind of +discouragement, but they were never dismayed. Their khaki uniforms on +more than one occasion in Ghent made German sentries jump." (Mrs. +MacDougal arranging for <ins title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'F.A.N.Y.work'">F.A.N.Y. work</ins> with the Belgians in September, +1914).</p> + +<p>"This feat of the 'Yeowomen'—who have struggled against a certain +amount of ridicule in England since they started a horse ambulance and +camp some six or seven years ago—is worth emphasis because it is only +one instance, striking but by no means unique, of the complete triumph +of women workers during the past few months!"</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The next question was to decide who would go to the new English Convoy, +and two or three left for England to become proficient in motor +mechanics and driving.</p> + +<p>I was naturally anxious after a year with the<a name="Page_109" id="Page_109"></a> Allies, to work for the +British, but as I could not be spared from housekeeping to go to England +I was dubious as to whether I could pass the test or not. Though I had +come out originally with the idea of being a chauffeur, I had only done +odd work from time to time at Lamarck. "Uncle," however, was very +hopeful and persuaded me to take the test in France before my leave was +due. Accordingly, I went round to the English Mechanical Transport in +the town for the exam., the same test as the men went through. I felt +distinctly like the opera lady at the concert. It was a very greasy day +and the road which we took was bordered on one side by a canal and on +the other by a deep and muddy ditch. As we came to a cross road the +A.S.C. Lieutenant who was testing me, said, "There you see the marks +where the last man I tested skidded with his car." "Yes, rather, how +jolly!" I replied in my agitation, wondering if my fate would be +likewise. We passed the spot more by luck than good management, and then +I reversed for some distance along that same road. At last I turned at +the cross roads, and after some traffic driving, luckily without any +mishap, drove back to hospital. I was questioned about mechanics on the +way, and at the end tactfully explained I was just going on leave and +meant to spend every second in a garage! I got out at the hospital gates +feeling quite sure I had failed, but to my intense relief and joy he +told me I had passed, and he would send up the marks to hospital later +on. I jumped at least a foot off the pavement!<a name="Page_110" id="Page_110"></a></p> + +<p>I went in and told the joyful news to Lieutenant Franklin, who was to be +boss of the new Convoy, while Lieutenant MacDougal was to be head of the +Belgian hospital, and of the unit down at the big Convalescent dépôt in +the S. of France, at Camp de Ruchard, where Lady Baird and Sister Lovell +superintended the hospital, and Chris and Thompson did the driving.</p> + +<p>It was sad to bid good-bye to Lamarck and the Belgians, but as the +English Convoy was to be in the same town it was not as if we should +never see them again.</p> + +<p>"Camille," in Ward I, whose back had been broken when the dug-out +collapsed on him during a bombardment, hung on to my hand while the +tears filled his eyes. He had been my special case when he first +arrived, and his gratitude for anything we could do for him was +touching.</p> + +<p>The Adjutant Heddebaud, who was the official Belgian head of the +hospital, wrote out with many flourishes a panegyric of sorts thanking +me for what I had done, which I duly pasted in my War Album; and so I +said Good-bye to Lamarck and the Belgians, and left for England, +December, 1915.<a name="Page_111" id="Page_111"></a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER XI</h2> + +<div class='center'><big>THE ENGLISH CONVOY</big></div> + + +<p>My second leave was spent for the most part at a garage in the +neighbouring town near the village where we lived. I positively dreamt +of carburettors, magnetoes, and how to change tyres! The remaining three +of my precious fourteen days were spent in London enjoying life and +collecting kit and such like. We were to be entirely under canvas in our +new camp, and as it was mid-winter you can imagine we made what +preparations we could to avoid dying of pneumonia.</p> + +<p>The presentation of a fox terrier, "Tuppence," by name, I hailed with +delight. When all else froze, he would keep me warm, I thought!</p> + +<p>It may be interesting to members of the Corps to know the names of those +who formed that pioneer Convoy. They are: Lieutenant Franklin, M. +Thompson (Section Leader), B. Ellis, W. Mordaunt, C. Nicholson, D. +Heasman, D. Reynolds, G. Quin, M. Gamwell, H. Gamwell, B. Hutchinson, +N.F. Lowson, P.B. Waddell, M. Richardson, M. Laidley, O. Mudie-Cooke, P. +Mudie-Cooke and M. Lean (the last three were new members).<a name="Page_112" id="Page_112"></a></p> + +<p>I met Lowson and Lean at Victoria on January 3, 1916, and between us we +smuggled "Tuppence" into the boat train without anyone seeing him; +likewise through the customs at Folkestone. Arrived there we found that +mines were loose owing to the recent storms, and the boat was not +sailing till the next day. Then followed a hunt for rooms, which we duly +found but in doing so lost "Tuppence." The rest of the time was spent +looking for him; and when we finally arrived breathless at the police +station, there was the intelligent dog sitting on the steps! I must here +confess this was one of the few occasions he ever exhibited his talents +in that direction, and as such it must be recorded. He was so well bred +that sometimes he was positively stupid, however, he was beautiful to +look at, and one can't have everything in this world.</p> + +<p>The next morning the sea was still fairly rough; and I went in to the +adjoining room to find that the gallant Lowson was already up and +stirring, and had gone forth into the town in search of "Mother-sill." I +looked out at the sea and hoped fervently she would find some.</p> + +<p>We went on board at nine, after a good breakfast, and decided to stay on +deck. A sailor went round with a megaphone, shouting, "All lifebelts +on," and we were under way.</p> + +<p>I confided "Tuppence" to the care of the ship's carpenter and begged him +to find a spare lifebelt for him, so that if the worst came to the worst +he could use it as a little raft!<a name="Page_113" id="Page_113"></a></p> + +<p>We watched the two destroyers pitching black against the dashing spray +as they sped along on either side convoying us across.</p> + +<p>We arrived at Boulogne in time for lunch, and then set off for our +convoy camp thirty kilometres away, in a British Red Cross touring car +borrowed from the "Christol Hotel."</p> + +<p>We arrived there amid a deluge of rain, and the camp looked indeed a +sorry spectacle with the tents all awry in the hurricane that was +blowing.</p> + +<p>Bell tents flanked one side of the large open space where the ambulances +stood. A big store tent occupied another and the cook-house was in a +shed at the extreme corner, with the Mess tent placed about as far from +it as possible! I fully appreciated this piece of staff work later. +There were also a lot of bathing machines, which made me vaguely wonder +if a Snark had once inhabited the place.</p> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="The fourth"> +<tr><td align='left'>"The fourth (viz. sign of a Snark) is its fondness for bathing machines</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Which it constantly carries about,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">And believes that they add to the beauty of scenes—</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">A sentiment open to doubt."</span></td></tr> +</table></div> + +<p>My surmises were brought to an abrupt end.</p> + +<p>"Pat, dear old Pat. I say, old bird, you won't mind going into the +cook-house for a bit, will you, till the real cook comes? You're so +good-natured (?) I know you will, old thing."</p> + +<p>Before I could reply, someone else said:<a name="Page_114" id="Page_114"></a></p> + +<p>"That's settled then; it's perfectly ripping of you."</p> + +<p>"Splendid," said someone else. Being the chief person concerned, I +hadn't had a chance to utter word of protest one way or the other!</p> + +<p>When I <i>could</i> gasp out something, I murmured feebly that I <i>had</i> +thought I was going to drive a car, and had spent most of my leave +sitting in a garage with that end in view.</p> + +<p>"Oh, yes, of course you are, old thing, but the other cook hasn't turned +up yet. Bridget (Laidlay) is worked off her feet, so we decided you'd be +a splendid help to her in the meantime!"</p> + +<p>There was nothing else for it.</p> + +<p>I discovered I was to share a tent with Quin, and dragged my kit over to +the one indicated. I found her wringing out some blankets and was +greeted with the cheery "Hello, had a good leave? I say, old thing, your +bed's a pool of water."</p> + +<p>I looked into the tent and there it was sagging down in the middle with +quite a decent sized pond filling the hollow! "What about keeping some +gold fish?" I suggested, somewhat peevishly.</p> + +<p>Whatever happened I decided I couldn't sleep there that night, and with +Quin's help tipped it up and spread it on some boxes outside, as the sun +had come out.</p> + +<p>That night I spent at Lamarck on a stretcher—it at least had the virtue +of being dry if somewhat hard.</p> + +<p>When I appeared at the cook-house next morning <a name="Page_115" id="Page_115"></a>with the words, "Please +mum, I've come!" Bridget literally fell on my neck. She poured out the +difficulties of trying to feed seventeen hungry people, when they all +came in to meals at different hours, especially as the big stove +wouldn't "draw." It had no draught or something (I didn't know very much +about them then). In the meantime all the cooking was done on a huge +Primus stove and the field kitchen outside. I took a dislike to that +field kitchen the moment I saw it, and I think it was mutual. It never +lost an opportunity of "going out on me" the minute my back was turned. +We were rather at a loss to know how to cope with our army rations at +first. We all worked voluntarily, but the army undertook to feed and +house (or rather tent) us. We could either draw money or rations, and at +first we decided on the former. When, however, we realised the enormous +price of the meat in the French shops we decided to try rations instead, +and this latter plan we found was much the best. Unfortunately, as we +had first drawn allowances it took some days before the change could be +effected, and Bridget and I had the time of our lives trying to make +both ends meet in the meantime. That first day she went out shopping it +was my duty to peel the potatoes and put them on to boil, etc. Before +she left she explained how I was to light the Primus stove. Now, if +you've never lit a Primus before, and in between the time you were told +how to do it you had peeled twenty or thirty potatoes, got two scratch +breakfasts, swept <a name="Page_116" id="Page_116"></a>the Mess tent and kept that field kitchen from going +out, it's quite possible your mind would be a little blurred. Mine was. +When the time came, I put the methylated in the little cup at the top, +lit it, and then pumped with a will. The result was a terrific roar and +a sheet of flame reaching almost to the roof! Never having seen one in +action before, I thought it was possible they always behaved like that +at first and that the conflagration would subside in a few moments. I +watched it doubtfully, arms akimbo. Bridget entered just then and, +determined not to appear flustered, in as cool a voice as possible I +said: "Is that all right, old thing?" She put down her parcels and, +without a word, seized the stove by one of its legs and threw it on a +sand heap outside! Of course the field kitchen had gone out—(I can't +think who invented that rotten inadequate grating underneath, anyway), +and I felt I was not the bright jewel I might have been.</p> + +<p>Our Mess was a huge Indian tent rather out of repair, and, though it had +a bright yellow lining, dusk always reigned within. The mugs, tin +plates, and the oddest knives and forks constituted the "service." It +was windy and chilly to a degree, and one of the few advantages of being +in the cook-house was that one had meals in comparative warmth.</p> + +<p>My real troubles began at night when, armed with a heavy tray, I set off +on the perilous journey across the camp to the Mess tent to lay the +table. There were no lights, and it was generally raining.<a name="Page_117" id="Page_117"></a> The chief +things to avoid were the tent ropes. As I left the cook-house I decided +exactly in my own mind where the bell-tent ropes extended, ditto those +of the store tent and the Mess, but invariably, just as I thought I was +clear, something caught my ankle as securely as any snake, and down I +crashed on top of the tray, the plates, mugs, and knives scattering all +around. Luckily it was months since the latter had been sharp, or a +steel proof overall would have been my only hope. Distances and the +supposititious length of tent ropes are inclined to be deceptive in the +dark. Nothing will make me believe those ropes were inanimate—they +literally lay in wait for me each night! When any loud crash was heard +in camp it was always taken for granted it was "only Pat taking another +toss."</p> + +<p>The wind, too, seemed to take a special delight in doing his bit. Our +camp was situated on the top of a small hill quite near the sea, and +some of the only trees in the neighbourhood flourished there, protected +by a deep thorn hedge. This, however, ended abruptly where the drive led +down to the road. It was when I got opposite the opening where the wind +swept straight up from the sea my real tussle began. As often as not the +tin plates were blown off the tray high into the air! It was then I +realized the value of a chin. Obviously it was meant to keep the lid on +the soup tureen and in this acrobatic attitude, my feet dodging the tent +ropes, I arrived breathless and panting at the door of the<a name="Page_118" id="Page_118"></a> Mess tent. +The oil lamp swinging on a bit of wire over the table was as welcome a +sight as an oasis in the desert.</p> + +<p>We had no telephone in those days, and orderlies came up from the Casino +hospital and A.D.M.S. with buff slips when ambulances were wanted. At +that time the cars, Argylls, Napiers, Siddeley-Deaseys, and a Crossley, +inscribed "Frank Crossley, the Pet of Poperinghe," were just parked +haphazard in the open square, some with their bonnets one way and some +another—it just depended which of the two drives up to camp had been +chosen. It will make some of the F.A.N.Y.s smile to hear this, when they +think of the neat rows of cars precisely parked up to the dead straight, +white-washed line that ultimately became the order of things!</p> + +<p>The bathing machines had their uses, one near the cook-house acting as +our larder, another as a store for spare parts, while several others +were adopted by F.A.N.Y.s as their permanent abodes. One bore the +inscription, "The Savoy—Every Modern Inconvenience!"</p> + +<p>Some R.E.'s came to look at the big cook-house stove and decided it must +be put on a raised asphalt sort of platform. Of course this took some +time, and we had to do all the cooking on the Primus. The field kitchen +(when it went) was only good for hot water. We were relieved to see tins +of bully beef and large hunks of cheese arriving in one of the cars the +first day we drew rations, "Thank heaven that at least required no +cooking." It was <a name="Page_119" id="Page_119"></a>our first taste of British bully, and we thought it +"really quite decent," and so it was, but familiarity breeds contempt, +and finally loathing. It was the monotony that did it. You would weary +of the tenderest chicken if you had it every other day for months. As +luck would have it, Bridget was again out shopping when, the day +following, a huge round of raw beef arrived. How to cope, that was the +question? (The verb "to cope" was very much in use at that period.) +Obviously it would not fit into the frying pan. But something had to be +done, and done soon, as it was getting late. "They must just have +chops," I said aloud, in desperation, and bravely seizing that round of +beef I cut seventeen squares out of it (slices would have taken too +long; besides, our knife wasn't sharp enough).</p> + +<p>They fried beautifully, and no one in the Mess was heard to murmur. When +you've been out driving from 7.30 a.m. hunger covers a multitude of +sins, and Bridget agreed I'd saved the situation.</p> + +<p>The beef when I'd finished with it looked exactly as if it had been in a +worry. No <i>wonder</i> cooks never eat what they've cooked, I thought.</p> + +<p>To our great disappointment an order came up to the Convoy that all +cameras were to be sent back to England, and everyone rushed round +frantically finishing off their rolls of films. Lowson appeared and took +one of the cook-house "staff" armed with kettles and more or less +covered with smuts. It was rightly entitled, "The abomination of +deso<a name="Page_120" id="Page_120"></a>lation"—when it came to be gummed into my War Album!</p> + +<p>Quin was a great nut with our tent ropes at night, and though she had +not been in camp before the war, assured me she knew all about them. +Needless to say, I was only too pleased to let her carry on.</p> + +<p>When I rolled in at night after washing up in the cook-house she would +say: "You must come out and tighten the tent ropes with this gale +blowing, it won't be funny if the whole thing blows over in the night." +But none of the horrors she depicted ever persuaded me to turn out once +I was safely tucked up in my "flea bag" with "Tuppence" acting as a +weight to keep the top blankets in place. In the morning when I awoke +after a sound night's sleep, I would exclaim triumphantly: "There you +are, 'Squig,' what price the tent blowing down? It's as safe as a rock +and hasn't moved an inch!"</p> + +<p>"No?" the long-suffering "Squig" would reply bitterly, "it may interest +you to hear I've only been up <i>twice</i> in the night hammering in the pegs +and fixing the ropes!"</p> + +<p>The only time I didn't bless her manipulation of these things was when I +rose at 6.30 a.m., by which time they had been frozen stiff and shrunk +to boot. The ones lacing the flap leading out of the tent were as hard +to undo as if they had been made of iron. On these occasions "Tuppence," +who had hardly realized the seriousness of war, would wake up and want +me instantly to go out, half dressed as I was, and throw stones for his +benefit! That dog had <a name="Page_121" id="Page_121"></a>no sense of the fitness of things. If I did not +comply immediately he sat down, threw his head in the air, and "howled +to the moon!" The rest of the camp did not appreciate this pastime; but +if they had known my frenzied efforts with the stiffened ropes "Squig" +had so securely fixed over-night, their sympathies would have been with, +rather than against, me.</p> + +<p>One night we had a fearful storm (at least "Squig" told me of it in the +morning and I had no reason to doubt her word), and just as I was +rolling out of bed we heard yells of anguish proceeding from one of the +other tents.</p> + +<p>That one had collapsed we felt no doubt, and, rushing out in pyjamas +just as we were, in the wind and rain, we capered delightedly to the +scene of the disaster. The Sisters Mudie-Cooke (of course it would be +their tent that had gone) were now hidden from sight under the heavy +mass of wet canvas on top of them. The F.A.N.Y.s, their hair flying in +the wind, looking more like Red Indians on a scalping expedition than a +salvage party, soon extricated them, and they were taken, with what +clothes could be rescued, to another tent. Their fate, "Squig" assured +me, would have assuredly been ours had it not been for her!</p> + +<p>Madame came into existence about this time. She was a poor Frenchwoman +whom we hired to come and wash the dishes for us. She had no teeth, +wispy hair, and looked very underfed and starved. Her "man" had been +killed in the early <a name="Page_122" id="Page_122"></a>days of the war. Though she looked hardly strong +enough to do anything, Bridget and I, who interviewed her jointly, had +not the heart to turn her away, and she remained with us ever after and +became so strong and well in time she looked a different woman.</p> + +<p>The Mess tent was at last moved nearer the cook-house (I had fallen over +the ropes so often that, quite apart from any feelings I had left, it +was a preventive measure to save what little crockery we possessed).</p> + +<p>The cars were all left in a pretty rotten condition, and the petrol was +none too good. How Kirkby, the one mechanic, coped at that time, always +with a cheery smile, will never be known. As Winnie aptly remarked, "In +these days there are only two kinds of beings in the Convoy—a "Bird" +and a "Blighter<ins title="Transcriber's Note: Final quote added">"!"</ins> Kirkby was decidedly in the "Bird" class.</p> + +<p>"Be a bird, and do such and such a thing," was a common opening to a +request. Of course if you refused you were a "blighter" of the worst +description.</p> + +<p>As you will remember, I was only in the cook-house as a "temporary +help," and great was my joy when Logan (fresh from the Serbian campaign) +loomed up on the horizon as the pukka cook. I retired gracefully—my +only regret being Bridget's companionship. Two beings could hardly have +laughed as much as we had done when impossible situations had arisen, +and when the verb "to cope" seemed ineffective and life just one +"gentle" thing after the other.</p> + +<p>I was given the little Mors lorry to drive. To say<a name="Page_123" id="Page_123"></a> I adored that car +would not be exaggerating my feelings about it at all. The seat was my +chief joy, it was of the racing variety, some former sportsman having +done away with the tool box that had served as one! "Tuppy" also +appreciated that lorry, and when we set off to draw rations, lying +almost flat, the tips of his ears could just be seen from the front on a +line with the top of my cap.</p> + +<p>One of my jobs was to take Sergeant McLaughlan to fetch the hospital +washing from a laundry some distance out of the town. He was an old +"pug," but had grown too heavy to enter the ring, and kept his hand in +coaching the promising young boxers stationed in the vicinity. In +consequence, what I did not know about all their different merits was +not worth knowing, and after a match had taken place every round was +described in full. I grew quite an enthusiast.</p> + +<p>He could never bear to see another car in front without trying to pass +it. "Let her rip, Miss," he would implore—"Don't be beat by them +Frenchies." Needless to say I did not need much encouragement, and +nothing ever passed us. (There are no speed limits in France.) There was +a special hen at one place we always tried to catch, but it was a wily +bird and knew a thing or two. McLaughlan was dying to take it home to +the Sergeants' Mess, but we never got her.</p> + +<p>One day, as we were rattling down the main street, one of the tyres went +off like a "4.2." We drew to the side, and there it was, as flat as a +pancake.<a name="Page_124" id="Page_124"></a></p> + +<p>There are always a lot of people in the streets of a town who seem to +have nothing particular to do, and very soon quite a decent-sized crowd +had collected.</p> + +<p>"We must do this in record time," I said to McLaughlan, who knew nothing +about cars, and kept handing me the wrong spanners in his anxiety to +help. "See," exclaimed one, "it makes her nothing to dirty her hands in +such a manner."</p> + +<p>"They work like men, these English young girls, is it not so?" said +another. "<i>Sapristi, c'est merveilleux.</i>"</p> + +<p>"One would truly say from the distance that they <i>were</i> men, but this +one, when one sees her close, is not too bad!" said a third.</p> + +<p>"Passing remarks about <i>you</i>, they are, I should say," said McLaughlan +to me as I fixed the spare wheel in place.</p> + +<p>"You wait," I panted, "I'll pay them out."</p> + +<p>"See you her strong boots?" they continued. "Believe you that she can +understand what we say?" asked one. "Never on your life," was the +answer, and the wheel in place, they watched every movement as I wiped +my hands on a rag and drew on my gloves. "Eight minutes exactly," +whispered McLaughlan triumphantly, as he seated himself beside me on the +lorry preparatory to starting.</p> + +<p>The crowd still watched expectantly, and, leaning out a little, I said +sweetly, in my best Parisian accent: "<i>Mesdames et Messieurs, la séance +est terminée</i>." And off we drove! Their expressions defied description; +I never saw people look so astounded. McLaughlan <a name="Page_125" id="Page_125"></a>was unfeignedly +delighted. "Wot was that you 'anded out to them, Miss?" he asked. "Fair +gave it 'em proper anyway, straight from the shoulder," and he chuckled +with glee.</p> + +<p>I frequently met an old A.S.C. driver at one of the hospitals where I +had a long wait while the rations were unloaded. He was fat, rosy, and +smiling, and we became great friends. He was at least sixty; and told me +that when War broke out, and his son enlisted, he could not bear to feel +he was out of it, and joined up to do his bit as well. He was a taxi +owner-driver in peace times, and had three of them; the one he drove +being fitted with "real silver vauses!" I heard all about the "missus," +of whom he was very proud, and could imagine how anxiously she watched +the posts for letters from her only son and her old man.</p> + +<p>Some months later when I was driving an ambulance a message was brought +to me that Stone was in hospital suffering from bronchitis. I went off +to visit him.</p> + +<p>"I'm for home this time," he said sadly, "but won't the old missus be +pleased?" I looked at his smiling old face and thought indeed she would.</p> + +<p>He asked particularly if I would drive him to the boat when he was sent +to England. "It'll seem odd to be going off on a stretcher, Miss," he +said sadly, "just like one of the boys, and not even so much as a +scratch to boast of." I pointed out that there were many men in England +half his age who had done nothing but secure cushy jobs for themselves.<a name="Page_126" id="Page_126"></a></p> + +<p>"Well, Miss," he said, as I rose to leave, "it'll give me great pleasure +to drive you about London for three days when the war's over, and in my +best taxi, too, with the silver vauses!"</p> + +<p>(N.B. I'm still looking for him.)</p> + +<p>Life in the Convoy Camp was very different from Lamarck, and I missed +the cheery companionship of the others most awfully. At meal times only +half the drivers would be in, and for days at a time you hardly saw your +friends.</p> + +<p>There were no "10 o'clocks" either. Of course, if you happened to be in +camp at that time you probably got a cup of tea in the cook-house, but +it's not much of a pastime with no one else to drink it with you. +"Pleasant Sunday Evenings" were also out of the question for, with all +the best intentions in the world, no one could have spent an evening in +our Mess tent (even to the accompaniment of soft music) and called it +"pleasant!" They were still carried on at Lamarck, however, and whenever +possible we went down in force.</p> + + +<h4>A BLACK DAY IN THE LIFE OF A CONVOY F.A.N.Y.</h4> + +<div> +<span style="margin-left: 18em;">(<i>By kind permission of Winifred Mordaunt,</i></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 25em;"><i>From "Barrack Room Ballads</i></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 30em;"><i>of the F.A.N.Y. Corps."</i>)</span><br /> +<br /></div> + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="A Black Day in the Life of a Convoy F.A.N.Y."> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Gentle reader, when you've seen this,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Do not think, please, that I mean this</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">As a common or garden convoy day,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">For the Fany, as a habit</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Is as jolly as a rabbit—</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 11em;">Or a jay.</span><br /><br /><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127"></a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">But the're days in one's existence,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">When the ominous persistence</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Of bad luck goes thundering heavy on your track,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Though you shake him off with laughter,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">He will leap the moment after—</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 11.5em;">On your back.</span><br /><br /></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">'Tis the day that when on waking,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">You will find that you are taking,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Twenty minutes when you haven't two to spare,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">And the bloomin' whistle's starting,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">When you've hardly thought of parting—</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 11.5em;">Your front hair!</span><br /><br /></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">You acquire the cheerful knowledge,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Ere you rush to swallow porridge,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">That "fatigue" has just been added to your bliss,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"If the weather's no objection,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">There will be a car inspection—</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 11.5em;">Troop—dismiss!"</span><br /><br /></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">With profane ejaculation,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">You will see "evacuation"</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Has been altered to an earlier hour than nine,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">So your 'bus you start on winding,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Till you hear the muscles grinding—</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 11.5em;">In your spine.</span><br /><br /></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Let's pass over nasty places,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Where you jolt your stretcher cases</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">And do everything that's wrong upon the quay,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Then it's time to clean the boiler,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">And the sweat drops from the toiler,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 11.5em;">Oh—dear me!</span><br /><br /></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">When you've finished rubbing eye-wash,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">On your engine, comes a "Kibosch."</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">As the Section-leader never looks at it,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">But a grease-cap gently twisting,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">She remarks that it's consisting,—</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 11.5em;">"Half of grit."</span><br /><br /><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128"></a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Then as seated on a trestle,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">With the toughest beef you wrestle,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">That in texture would out-rival stone or rock,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">You are told you must proceed,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">To Boulogne, with care and speed</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 11.5em;">At two o'clock.</span><br /><br /></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">As you're whisking through Marquise</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">(While the patients sit at ease)</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Comes the awful sinking sizzle of a tyre,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">It is usual in such cases,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">That your jack at all such places,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 11.5em;">Won't go higher.</span><br /><br /></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">A wet, cold rain starts soaking,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">And the old car keeps on choking,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Your hands and face are frozen raw and red,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Three sparking-plugs are missing,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">There's another tyre a-hissing,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 11.5em;">Well—! 'nuff said!</span><br /><br /></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">You reach camp as night's descending,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">To the bath with haste you're wending,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">A hot tub's the only thing to save a cough,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Cries the F.A.N.Y. who's still in it,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"Ah! poor soul, why just this minute,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 11em;">Water's off!"</span><br /><br /></td></tr> +</table></div> + + +<p><i>N.B.</i>—It was a popular pastime of the powers that be to turn the water +off at intervals, without any warning, rhyme or reason—one of the +tragedies of the War.<a name="Page_129" id="Page_129"></a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER XII</h2> + +<div class='center'><big>THE PASSING OF THE LITTLE LORRY, "OLD BILL" AND "'ERB" AT AUDRICQ</big></div> + + +<p>A mild sensation was caused one day by a collision on the Boulogne road +when a French car skidded into one of ours (luckily empty at the time) +and pushed it over into the gutter.</p> + +<p>"Heasy" and Lowson were both requested to appear at the subsequent Court +of Enquiry, and Sergeant Lawrence, R.A.M.C. (who had been on the +ambulance at the time) was bursting with importance and joy at the +anticipation of the proceedings. He was one of the chief witnesses, and +apart from anything else it meant an extra day's pay for him, though why +it should I could never quite fathom.</p> + +<p>As they drove off, with Boss as chaperone, a perfect salvo of old shoes +was thrown after them!</p> + +<p>They returned with colours flying, for had not Lowson saved the +situation by producing a tape measure three minutes after the accident, +measuring the space the Frenchman swore was wide enough for his car to +pass, and proving thereby it was a physical impossibility?</p> + +<p>"How," asked the Colonel, who was conducting <a name="Page_130" id="Page_130"></a>the Enquiry, "can you +declare with so much certainty the space was 3 feet 8 inches?"</p> + +<p>"I measured it," replied Lowson promptly.</p> + +<p>"May I ask with what?" he rasped.</p> + +<p>"A tape-measure I had in my pocket," replied she, smiling affably the +while (sensation).</p> + +<p>The Court of Enquiry went down like a pack of cards before that tape +measure. Such a thing had never been heard of before; and from then +onwards the reputation of the "lady drivers" being prepared for all +"immersions" was established finally and irrevocably.</p> + +<p>It was a marvel how fit we all kept throughout those cold months. It was +no common thing to wake up in the mornings and find icicles on the top +blanket of the "flea bag" where one's breath had frozen, and of course +one's sponge was a solid block of ice. It was duly placed in a tin basin +on the top of the stove and melted by degrees. Luckily we had those +round oil stoves; and with flaps securely fastened at night we achieved +what was known as a "perfectly glorious fug."</p> + +<p>Engineers began to make frequent trips to camp to choose a suitable site +for the huts we were to have to replace our tents.</p> + +<p>My jobs on the little lorry were many and varied; getting the weekly +beer for the Sergeants' Mess being one of the least important. I drew +rations for several hospitals as well as bringing up the petrol and +tyres for the Convoy, rationing the Officers' Mess, etc.; and regularly +at one o'clock just as we <a name="Page_131" id="Page_131"></a>were sitting at Mess, Sergeant Brown would +appear (though we never saw more of him than his legs) at the aperture +that served as our door, and would call out diffidently in his high +squeaky voice: "Isolation, when you're ready, Miss," and as regularly +the whole Mess would go off into fits! This formula when translated +meant that he was ready for me to take the rations to the Isolation +hospital up the canal. Hastily grabbing some cheese I would crank up the +little lorry and depart.</p> + +<p>The little lorry did really score when an early evacuation took place, +at any hour from 4 a.m. onwards, when the men had to be taken from the +hospitals to the ships bound for England. How lovely to lie in bed and +hear other people cranking up their cars!</p> + +<p>Barges came regularly down the canals with cases too seriously wounded +to stand the jolting in ambulance trains. One day we were all having +tea, and some friends had dropped in, when a voice was heard calling +"Barges, Barges." Without more ado the whole Mess rose, a form was +overturned, and off they scampered as fast as they could to get their +cars and go off immediately. The men left sitting there gazed blankly at +each other and finally turned to me for an explanation—(being a lorry, +I was not required). "Barges," I said; "they all have to hurry off as +quickly as possible to unload the cases." They thought it rather a +humorous way of speeding the parting guest, but I assured them work +always came before (or generally during)<a name="Page_132" id="Page_132"></a> tea in our Convoy! Major S.P. +never forgot that episode, and the next time he came, heralded his +arrival by calling out at the top of his voice, "Barges, Barges!" with +the result that half the Convoy turned out <i>en masse</i>. He assured his +friends it was the one method of getting a royal welcome.</p> + +<p>I shall never forget with what fear and trepidation I drove my first lot +of wounded. I was on evening duty when the message came up about seven +that there were eight bad cases, too bad to stay on the barge till next +morning, which were to be removed to hospital immediately. Renny and I +set off, each driving a Napier ambulance. We backed into position on the +sloping shingly ground near the side of the canal, and waited for the +barge to come in.</p> + +<p>Presently we espied it slipping silently along under the bridge. The +cases were placed on lifts and slung gently up from the inside of the +barge, which was beautifully fitted up like a hospital ward.</p> + +<p>It is not an easy matter when you are on a slope to start off smoothly +without jerking the patients within; and I held my breath as I +declutched and took off the brake, accelerating gently the meanwhile. +Thank heaven! We were moving slowly forward and there had been no jerk. +They were all bad cases and an occasional groan would escape their lips +in spite of themselves. I dreaded a certain dip in the road—a sort of +open drain known in France as a <i>canivet</i>—but fortunately I had +practised crossing it when out one day trying a Napier, and we +man[oe]uvred it pretty fairly. My relief on getting <a name="Page_133" id="Page_133"></a>to hospital was +tremendous. My back was aching, so was my knee (from constant +clutch-slipping over the bumps and cobbles), and my eyes felt as if they +were popping out of my head. In fact I had a pretty complete "stretcher +face!" I had often ragged the others about their "stretcher faces," +which was a special sort of strained expression I had noticed as I +skimmed past them in the little lorry, but now I knew just what it felt +like.</p> + +<p>The new huts were going apace, and were finished about the end of April, +just as the weather was getting warmer. We were each to have one to +ourselves, and they led off on each side of a long corridor running down +the centre. These huts were built almost in a horse-shoe shape and—joy +of joys! there were to be two bathrooms at the end! We also had a +telephone fixed up—a great boon. The furniture in the huts consisted of +a bed and two shelves, and that was all. There was an immediate slump in +car cleaning. The rush on carpentering was tremendous. It was by no +means safe for a workman to leave his tools and bag anywhere in the +vicinity; his saw the next morning was a thing to weep over if he did. +(It's jolly hard to saw properly, anyway, and it really looks such an +easy pastime.)</p> + +<p>The wooden cases that the petrol was sent over in from England, large +enough to hold two tins, were in great demand. These we made into +settees and stools, etc., and when stained and polished they looked +quite imposing. The contractor kindly <a name="Page_134" id="Page_134"></a>offered to paint the interiors of +the huts for us as a present, but we were a little startled to see the +brilliant green that appeared. Someone unkindly suggested that he could +get rid of it in no other way.</p> + +<p>When at last they were finished we received orders to take up our new +quarters, but, funnily enough, we had become so attached to our tents by +that time that we were very loath to do so. A fatigue party however +arrived one day to take the tents down, so there was nothing for it. +Many of the workmen were most obliging and did a lot of odd jobs for us. +I rescued one of the Red Cross beds instead of the camp one I had had +heretofore—the advantage was that it had springs—but there was only +the mattress part, and so it had to be supported on two petrol cases for +legs! The disadvantage of this was that as often as not one end slipped +off in the night and you were propelled on to the floor, or else two +opposite corners held and the other two see-sawed in mid-air. Both great +aids to nightmares.</p> + +<p>"Tuppence" did not take at all kindly to the new order of things; he +missed chasing the mice that used to live under the tent boards and +other minor attractions of the sort.</p> + +<p>The draughtiness and civilization of the new huts compared with the +"fug" of the tents all combined to give us chills! I had a specially bad +one, and managed with great skill to wangle a fortnight's sick leave in +Paris.<a name="Page_135" id="Page_135"></a></p> + +<p>The journey had not increased much in speed since my last visit, but +everything in Paris itself had assumed a much more normal aspect. The +bridge over the Oise had long since been repaired, and hardly a shop +remained closed. I went to see my old friend M. Jollivet at Neuilly, and +had the same little English mare to ride in the Bois, and also visited +many of the friends I had made during my first leave there.</p> + +<p>I got some wonderful French grey Ripolin sort of stuff from a little +shop in the "Boul' Mich" with which to tone down the violent green in my +hut, that had almost driven me mad while I lay ill in bed.</p> + +<p>The Convoy was gradually being enlarged, and a great many new drivers +came out from England just after I got back. McLaughlan gave me a great +welcome when I went for the washing that afternoon. "It's good to see +you back, Miss," he said, "the driver they put on the lorry was very +slow and cautious—you know the 'en we always try to catch? Would you +believe it we slowed down to walking pace so as to <i>miss</i> 'er!" and he +sniffed disgustedly.</p> + +<p>The news of the battle of Jutland fell like a bombshell in the camp +owing to the pessimistic reports first given of it in the papers. A +witty Frenchman once remarked that in all our campaigns we had only won +one battle, but that was the last, and we felt that however black things +appeared at the moment we would come out on top in the end. The news <a name="Page_136" id="Page_136"></a>of +Kitchener's death five days later plunged the whole of the B.E.F. into +mourning, and the French showed their sympathy in many touching ways.</p> + +<p>One day to my sorrow I heard that the little Mors lorry was to be done +away with, owing to the shortage of petrol that began to be felt about +this time, and that horses and G.S. wagons were to draw rations, etc., +instead. It had just been newly painted and was the joy of my +heart—however mine was not to reason why, and in due course Red Cross +drivers appeared with two more ambulances from the Boulogne <i>dépôt</i>, and +they made the journey back in the little Mors.</p> + +<p>It was then that "Susan" came into being.</p> + +<p>The two fresh ambulances were both Napiers, and I hastily consulted +Brown (the second mechanic who had come to assist Kirkby as the work +increased) which he thought was the best one. (It was generally felt I +should have first choice to console me for the loss of the little Mors.)</p> + +<p>I chose the speediest, naturally. She was a four cylinder Napier, given +by a Mrs. Herbert Davies to the Red Cross at the beginning of the war +(<i>vide</i> small brass plate affixed), and converted from her private car +into an ambulance. She had been in the famous old Dunkirk Convoy in +1914, and was battle-scarred, as her canvas testified, where the bullets +and shrapnel had pierced it. She had a fat comfortable look about her, +and after I had had her for some time I felt "Susan" was the only name +for her; and Susan she remained from that <a name="Page_137" id="Page_137"></a>day onwards. She always came +up to the scratch, that car, and saved my life more than once.</p> + +<p>We snatched what minutes we could from work to do our "cues," as we +called our small huts. It was a great pastime to voyage from hut to hut +and see what particular line the "furnishing" was taking. Mine was +closed to all intruders on the score that I had the "painters in." It +was to be <i>art nouveau</i>. I found it no easy matter to get the stuff on +evenly, especially as I had rather advanced ideas as to mural +decoration! With great difficulty I stencilled long lean-looking +panthers stalking round the top as a sort of fresco. I cut one pattern +out in cardboard and fixing it with drawing pins painted the Ripolin +over it, with the result that I had a row of green panthers prowling +round against a background of French grey! I found them very restful, +but of course opinions differ on these subjects. Curtains and cushions +were of bright Reckitt's blue material, bought in the market, relieved +by scrolls of dull pink wool embroidered (almost a stitch at a time) in +between jobs. The dark stained "genuine antiques" or <i>veritables +imitations</i> (as I once saw them described in a French shop) looked +rather well against this background; and a tremendous house-warming took +place to celebrate the occasion.</p> + +<p>No. 30 Field hospital arrived one day straight from Sicily, where it had +apparently been sitting ever since the war, awaiting casualties.</p> + +<p>As there seemed no prospect of any being sent, they were ordered to +France, and took up their <a name="Page_138" id="Page_138"></a>quarters on a sandy waste near the French +coastal forts. The orderlies had picked up quite a lot of Italian during +their sojourn and were never tired of describing the wonderful sights +they had seen.</p> + +<p>While waiting for patients there one day, a corporal informed me that on +the return journey they had "passed the volcano Etna, in rupture!"</p> + +<p>A great many troops came to a rest camp near us, and I always feel that +"Tuppence's" disappearance was due to them. He <i>would</i> be friendly with +complete strangers, and several times had come in minus his collar +(stolen by French urchins, I supposed). I had just bought his fourth, +and rather lost heart when he turned up the same evening without it once +more. Work was pouring in just then, and I would sometimes be out all +day. When last I saw him he was playing happily with Nellie, another +terrier belonging to a man at the Casino, and that night I missed him +from my hut. I advertised in the local rag (he was well known to all the +French people as he was about the only pure bred dog they'd ever seen), +but to no avail. I also made visits to the <i>Abattoir</i>, the French +slaughter house where strays were taken, but he was not there, and I +could only hope he had been taken by some Tommies, in which case I knew +he would be well looked after. I missed him terribly.</p> + +<p>Work came in spasms, in accordance with the fighting of course, and when +there was no special push on we had tremendous car inspections. Boss +walked round trying to spot empty grease caps and <a name="Page_139" id="Page_139"></a>otherwise making +herself thoroughly objectionable in the way of gear boxes and +universals. On these occasions "eye-wash" was extensively applied to the +brass, the idea being to keep her attention fixed well to the front by +the glare.</p> + +<p>One day, when all manner of fatigues and other means of torture had been +exhausted, Dicky and Freeth discovered they had a simultaneous birthday. +Prospects of wounded arriving seemed nil, and permission was given for a +fancy-dress tea party to celebrate the double event. It must be here +understood that whether work came in or not we all had to remain on duty +in camp till five every day, in case of the sudden arrival of ambulance +trains, etc. After that hour, two of us were detailed to be on evening +duty till nine, while all night duty was similarly taken in turns. +Usually, after hanging about all day till five, a train or barges would +be announced, and we were lucky if we got into bed this side of 12. +Hardly what you might call a "six-hour day," and yet nobody went on +strike.</p> + +<p>The one in question was fine and cloudless, and birthday wishes in the +shape of a Taube raid were expressed by the Boche, who apparently keeps +himself informed on all topics.</p> + +<p>The fancy dresses (considering what little scope we had and that no one +even left camp to buy extras in the town) were many and varied. "Squig" +and de Wend were excellent as bookies, in perfectly good toppers made +out of stiff white paper with <a name="Page_140" id="Page_140"></a>deep black ribbon bands and "THE OLD +FIRM" painted in large type on cards. Jockeys, squaws, yokels, etc., all +appeared mysteriously from nothing. I was principally draped in my +Reckitts blue upholsterings and a brilliant Scherezade kimono, bought in +a moment of extravagance in Paris.</p> + +<p>The proceedings after tea, when the cooks excelled themselves making an +enormous birthday cake, consisted of progressive games of sorts. You +know the kind of thing, trying to pick up ten needles with a pin (or is +it two?) and doing a Pelman memory stunt after seeing fifty objects on a +tray, and other intellectual pursuits of that description. Another stunt +was putting a name to different liquids which you smelt blindfold. This +was the only class in which I got placed. I was the only one apparently +who knew the difference between whisky and brandy! Funnily enough, would +you believe it, it was the petrol that floored me. Considering we +wallowed in it from morning till night it was rather strange. I was +nearly spun altogether when it came to the game of Bridge in the +telephone room. "I've never played it in my life," I said desperately. +"Never mind," said someone jokingly, "just take a hand." I took the tip +seriously and did so, looking at my cards as gravely as a judge—finally +I selected one and threw it down. To my relief no one screamed or +denounced me and I breathed again. (It requires some skill to play a +game of Bridge when you know absolutely nothing about it.)<a name="Page_141" id="Page_141"></a></p> + +<p>"Pity you lost that last trick," said my partner to me as we left the +room; "it was absolutely in your hand."</p> + +<p>"Was it?" I asked innocently.</p> + +<p>We had a rush of work after this, and wounded again began to pour in +from the Third Battle of Ypres.</p> + +<p>Early evacuations came regularly with the tides. They would begin at 4 +a.m. and get half an hour later each day. When we took "sitters" (i.e. +sitting patients with "Blighty" wounds), one generally came in front and +sat beside the driver, and on the way to the Hospital Ships we sometimes +learnt a lot about them. I had a boy of sixteen one day, a bright cheery +soul. "How did you get in?" (meaning into the army), I asked. "Oh, well, +Miss, it was like this, I was afraid it would be over before I was old +enough, so I said I was eighteen. The recruiting bloke winked and so did +I, and I was through." Another, when asked about his wound, said, "It's +going on fine now, Sister (they always called us Sister), but I lost me +conscience for two days up the line with it."</p> + +<p>We had a bunch of Canadians to take one day. "D'you come from Sussex?" +asked one, of me. "No," I replied, "from Cumberland." "That's funny," he +said, "the V.A.D. who looked after me came from Sussex, and she had the +same accent as you, I guess!" Another man had not been home for five +years, but had joined up in Canada and come straight over. A Scotsman +had not been home for twenty, and he intended to see his "folks"<a name="Page_142" id="Page_142"></a> and +come out again as soon as he was passed fit by the doctors.</p> + +<p>One fine morning at 5 a.m. we were awakened by a fearful din, much worse +than the usual thing. The huts trembled and our beds shook beneath us, +not to mention the very nails falling out of the walls! We wondered at +first if it was a fleet of Zepps. dropping super-bombs, but decided it +was too light for them to appear at that hour.</p> + +<p>There it was again, as if the very earth was being cleft in two, and our +windows rattled in their sockets. It is not a pleasant sensation to have +steady old Mother Earth rocking like an "ashpan" leaf beneath your feet.</p> + +<p>We dressed hurriedly, knowing that the cars might be called on to go out +at any moment.</p> + +<p>What the disaster was we could not fathom, but that it was some distance +away we had no doubt.</p> + +<p>At 7 a.m. the telephone rang furiously, and we all waited breathless for +the news.</p> + +<p>Ten cars were ordered immediately to Audricq, where a large ammunition +dump had been set on fire by a Boche airman.</p> + +<p>Heavy explosions continued at intervals all the morning as one shed +after another became affected.</p> + +<p>When our cars got there the whole dump was one seething mass of smoke +and flames, and shells of every description were hurtling through the +air at short intervals. Several of these narrowly missed the cars. It +was a new experience to be under fire from our own shells. The roads +were littered with <a name="Page_143" id="Page_143"></a>live ones, and with great difficulty the wheels of +the cars were steered clear of them!</p> + +<p>Many shells were subsequently found at a distance of five miles, and one +buried itself in a peaceful garden ten miles off!</p> + +<p>A thousand 9.2's had gone off simultaneously and made a crater big +enough to bury a village in. It was this explosion that had shaken our +huts miles away. The neighbouring village fell flat like a pack of cards +at the concussion, the inhabitants having luckily taken to the open +fields at the first intimation that the dump was on fire.</p> + +<p>The total casualties were only five in number, which was almost +incredible in view of the many thousands of men employed. It was due to +the presence of mind of the Camp Commandant that there were not more; +for, once he realized the hopeless task of getting the fire under +control, he gave orders to the men to clear as fast as they could. They +needed no second bidding and made for the nearest <i>Estaminets</i> with +speed! The F.A.N.Y.s found that instead of carrying wounded, their task +was to search the countryside (with Sergeants on the box) and bring the +men to a camp near ours. "Dead?" asked someone, eyeing the four +motionless figures inside one of the ambulances. "Yes," replied the +F.A.N.Y. cheerfully—"drunk!"</p> + +<p>The Boche had flown over at 3 a.m. but so low down the Archies were +powerless to get him. As one of the men said to me, "If we'd had rifles, +Miss, we could have potted him easy."<a name="Page_144" id="Page_144"></a></p> + +<p>He flew from shed to shed dropping incendiary bombs on the roofs as he +passed, and up they went like fireworks. The only satisfaction we had +was to hear that he had been brought down on his way back over our +lines, so the Boche never heard of the disaster he had caused.</p> + +<p>Some splendid work was done after the place had caught fire. One +officer, in spite of the great risk he ran from bursting shells, got the +ammunition train off safely to the 4th army. Thanks to him, the men up +the line were able to carry on as if nothing had happened, till further +supplies could be sent from other dumps. It was estimated that four +days' worth of shells from all the factories in England had been +destroyed.</p> + +<p>An M.T. officer got all the cars and lorries out of the sheds and +instructed the drivers to take them as far from the danger zone as +possible, while the Captain in charge of the "Archie" Battery stuck to +his guns; and he and his men remained in the middle of that inferno +hidden in holes in their dug-out, from which it was impossible to rescue +them for two days.</p> + +<p>Five days after the explosion Gutsie and I were detailed to go to +Audricq for some measles cases, and we reported first to the Camp +Commandant, who was sitting in the remains of his office, a shell +sticking up in the floor and half his roof blown away.</p> + +<p>He gave us permission to see the famous crater, and instructed one of +the subalterns to show us round. There were still fires burning and +shells popping in <a name="Page_145" id="Page_145"></a>some parts and the scenes of wreckage were almost +indescribable.</p> + +<p>The young officer was not particularly keen to take us at all and said +warningly, "You come at your own risk—there are nothing but live shells +lying about, liable to go off at any moment. Be careful," he said to me, +"you're just stepping on one now." I hopped off with speed, but all the +same we were not a whit discouraged, which seemed to disappoint him.</p> + +<p>As Gutsie and I stumbled and rolled over 4.2's and hand grenades I +quoted to her from the "Fuse-top collectors"—"You can generally 'ear +'em fizzin' a bit if they're going to go 'orf, 'Erb!" by way of +encouragement. Trucks had been lifted bodily by the concussion, and +could be seen in adjacent fields; many of the sheds had been half blown +away, leaving rows of live shells lying snugly in neat piles, but as +there was no knowing when they might explode it was decided to scrap the +whole dump when the fires had subsided.</p> + +<p>We walked up a small hill literally covered with shells and empty hand +grenades of the round cricket ball type, two of which were given to us +to make into match boxes. Every description of shell was there as far as +the eye could see, and some were empty and others were not. We reached +the summit, walking gingerly over 9.2's (which formed convenient steps) +to find ourselves at the edge of the enormous crater already half filled +with water. It was incredible to believe a place of that size had been +<a name="Page_146" id="Page_146"></a>formed in the short space of one second, and yet on the other hand, +when I remembered how the earth had trembled, the wonder was it was not +even larger.</p> + +<p>It took weeks for that dump to be cleared up. Little by little the live +shells were collected and taken out to sea in barges, and dropped in +mid-ocean.</p> + +<p>Not long after that the "Zulu," a British destroyer, came into port half +blown away by a mine. Luckily the engine was intact and still working, +but the men, who had had marvellous escapes, lost all their kit and +rations. We were not able to supply the former, unfortunately, but we +remedied the latter with speed, and also took down cigarettes, which +they welcomed more than anything.</p> + +<p>We were shown all over the remains, and hearing that the "Nubia" had +just had her engine room blown away, we suggested that the two ends +should be joined together and called the "Nuzu," but whether the +Admiralty thought anything of the idea I have yet to learn!</p> + +<p>Before the Captain left he had napkin rings made for each of us out of +the copper piping from the ship, in token of his appreciation of the +help we had given.</p> + +<p>The Colonials were even more surprised to see girls driving in France +than our own men had been.</p> + +<p>One man, a dear old Australian, was being invalided out altogether and +going home to his wife. He told me how during the time he had been away +she had become totally blind owing to some special German stuff, that +had been formerly injected to keep her <a name="Page_147" id="Page_147"></a>sight, being now unprocurable. +"Guess she's done her bit," he ended; "and I'm off home to take care of +her. She'll be interested to hear how the lassies work over here," and +we parted with a handshake.</p> + +<p>Important conferences were always taking place at the Hôtel Maritime, +and one day as I was down on the quay the French Premier and several +other notabilities arrived. "There's Mr. Asquith," said an R.T.O. to me. +"That!" said I, in an unintentionally loud voice, eyeing his long hair, +"I thought he was a 'cellist belonging to a Lena Ashwell Concert party!" +He looked round, and I faded into space.</p> + +<p>Taking some patients to hospital that afternoon we passed some +Australians marching along. "Fine chaps," said the one sitting on the +box to me, "they're a good emetic of their country, aren't they?" (N.B. +I fancy he meant to say emblem.)</p> + +<p>Our concert party still flourished, though the conditions for practising +were more difficult than ever. Our Mess tent had been moved again on to +a plot of grass behind the cook-house to leave more space for the cars +to be parked, and though we had a piano there it was somehow not +particularly inspiring, nor had we the time to practise. The Guards' +Brigade were down resting at Beau Marais, and we were asked to give them +a show. We now called ourselves the "FANTASTIKS," and wore a black +pierrette kit with yellow bobbles. The rehearsals were mostly conducted +in the back of the ambulance on the way there, and the rest of the time +<a name="Page_148" id="Page_148"></a>was spent feverishly muttering one's lines to oneself and imploring +other people not to muddle one. The show was held in a draughty tent, +and when it was over the Padre made a short prayer and they all sang a +hymn. (Life is one continual paradox out in France.) I shall never +forget the way those Guardsmen sang either. It was perfectly splendid. +There they stood, rows of men, the best physique England could produce, +and how they sang!</p> + +<p>Betty drove us back to camp in the "Crystal Palace," so-called from its +many windows—a six cylinder Delauney-Belville car used to take the army +sisters to and from their billets. We narrowly missed nose-diving into a +chalk pit on the way, the so-called road being nothing but a rutty +track.</p> + +<p>The Fontinettes ambulance train was a special one that was usually +reported to arrive at 8 p.m., but never put in an appearance till 10, +or, on some occasions, one o'clock. The battle of the Somme was now in +progress; and, besides barges and day trains, three of these arrived +each week. The whole Convoy turned out for this; and one by one the +twenty-five odd cars would set off, keeping an equal distance apart, +forming an imposing looking column down from the camp, across the bridge +and through the town to the railway siding. The odd makes had been +weeded out and the whole lot were now Napiers. The French inhabitants +would turn out <i>en masse</i> to see us pass, and were rather proud of us on +the whole, I think. Arrived at the big railway siding, we all formed up +into a straight line to await the <a name="Page_149" id="Page_149"></a>train. After many false alarms, and +answering groans from the waiting F.A.N.Y.s, it would come slowly +creaking along and draw up. The ambulances were then reversed right up +to the doors, and the stretcher bearers soon filled them up with four +lying cases. At the exit stood Boss and the E.M.O., directing each +ambulance which hospital the cases were to go to. Those journeys back +were perfect nightmares. Try as one would, it was impossible not to bump +a certain amount over those appalling roads full of holes and cobbles. +It was pathetic when a voice from the interior could be heard asking, +"Is it much farther, Sister?" and knowing how far it was, my heart ached +for them. After all they had been through, one felt they should be +spared every extra bit of pain that was possible. When I in my turn was +in an ambulance, I knew just what it felt like. Sometimes the cases were +so bad we feared they would not even last the journey, and there we were +all alone, and not able to hurry to hospital owing to the other three on +board.</p> + +<p>The journey which in the ordinary way, when empty, took fifteen minutes, +under these circumstances lasted anything from three-quarters of an hour +to an hour. "Susan" luckily was an extremely steady 'bus, and in 3rd. +gear on a smooth road there was practically no movement at all. I +remember once on getting to the Casino I called out, "I hope you weren't +bumped too much in there?" and was very cheered when a voice replied, +"It was splendid,<a name="Page_150" id="Page_150"></a> Sister, you should have seen us up the line, jolting +all over the place." "Sister," another one called, "will you drive us +when we leave for Blighty?" I said it was a matter of chance, but +whoever did so would be just as careful. "No," said the voice decidedly, +"there couldn't be two like you." (I think he must have been in an Irish +Regiment.)</p> + +<p>The relief after the strain of this journey was tremendous; and the joy +of dashing back through the evening air made one feel as if weights had +been taken off and one were flying. It was rather a temptation to test +the speed of one's 'bus against another on these occasions; and "Susan" +seemed positively to take a human interest in the impromptu race, all +the more so as it was forbidden. The return journey was by a different +route from that taken by the laden ambulances so that there was no +danger of a collision.</p> + +<p>We usually had about three journeys with wounded; twelve stretcher cases +in all, so that, say the train came in at nine and giving an hour to +each journey there and back, it meant (not counting loading and +unloading) roughly 1 o'clock a.m. or later before we had finished. Then +there were usually the sitting cases to be taken off and the stretcher +bearers to be driven back to their camp. Half of one head light only was +allowed to be shown; and the impression I always had when I came in was +that my eyes had popped right out of my head and were on bits of +elastic. A most extraordinary sensation, due to the terrible strain of +trying to see in the dark<a name="Page_151" id="Page_151"></a>ness just a little further than one really +could. It was the irony of fate to learn, when we did come in, that an +early evacuation had been telephoned through for 5 a.m. I often spent +the whole night dreaming I was driving wounded and had given them the +most awful bump. The horror of it woke me up, only to find that my bed +had slipped off one of the petrol boxes and was see-sawing in mid-air!</p> + + +<h4>THE RED CROSS CARS</h4> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="Red Cross Cars"> +<tr><td align='left'>"They are bringing them back who went forth so bravely.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Grey, ghostlike cars down the long white road</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Come gliding, each with its cross of scarlet</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">On canvas hood, and its heavy load</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Of human sheaves from the crimson harvest</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">That greed and falsehood and hatred sowed.</span><br /><br /></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>"Maimed and blinded and torn and shattered,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Yet with hardly a groan or a cry</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">From lips as white as the linen bandage;</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Though a stifled prayer 'God let me die,'</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Is wrung, maybe, from a soul in torment</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">As the car with the blood-red cross goes by.</span><br /><br /></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>"Oh, Red Cross car! What a world of anguish</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">On noiseless wheels you bear night and day.</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Each one that comes from the field of slaughter</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Is a moving Calvary, painted grey.</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">And over the water, at home in England</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">'Let's play at soldiers,' the children say."</span><br /></td></tr> +</table></div> + +<p><span style="margin-left: 28em;">Anon.</span><br /> +<a name="Page_152" id="Page_152"></a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER XIII</h2> + +<div class='center'><big>CONVOY LIFE</big></div> + + +<p>The Prince of Wales was with the Grenadiers at Beau Marais when they +came in to rest for a time. One day, while having tea at the Sauvage, +Mademoiselle Léonie, sister of the proprietor, came up to me in a +perfect flutter of excitement to say that that very evening the Prince +had ordered the large room to be prepared for a dinner he was giving to +his brother officers.</p> + +<p>I was rather a favourite of hers, and she assured me if I wished to +watch him arriving it would give her great pleasure to hide me in her +paying-desk place where I could see everything clearly. She was quite +hurt when I refused the invitation.</p> + +<p>He was tremendously popular with the French people; and the next time I +saw her she rushed up to me and said: "How your Prince is beautiful, +Mees; what spirit, what fire! Believe me, they broke every glass they +used at that dinner, and then the Prince demanded of me the bill and +paid for everything." (Some lad!) "He also wrote his name in my +autograph book," she added proudly. "Oh he is <i>chic</i>, that one there, I +tell you!"<a name="Page_153" id="Page_153"></a></p> + +<p>One warm summer day Gutsie and I were sitting on a grassy knoll, just +beyond our camp overlooking the sea (well within earshot of the +summoning whistle), watching a specially large merchant ship come in. +Except for the distant booming of the guns (that had now become such a +background to existence we never noticed it till it stopped), an +atmosphere of peace and drowsiness reigned over everything. The ship was +just nearing the jetty preparatory to entering the harbour when a dull +reverberating roar broke the summer stillness, the banks we were on +fairly shook, and there before our eyes, out of the sea, rose a dense +black cloud of smoke 50 feet high that totally obscured the ship from +sight for a moment. When the black fumes sank down, there, where a whole +vessel had been a moment before, was only half a ship! We rubbed our +eyes incredulously. It had all happened so suddenly it might have taken +place on a Cinema. She had, of course, struck a German mine, and quick +as lightning two long, lithe, grey bodies (French destroyers) shot out +from the port and took off what survivors were left. Contrary to +expectation she did not sink, but settled down, and remained afloat till +she was towed in later in the day.</p> + +<p>A "Y.M.C.A." article on "Women's work in France," that appeared in a +Magazine at home, was sent out to one of the girls. The paragraph +relating to us ran:—</p> + +<p>"Then there are the 'F.A.N.N.I.E.S.,' the dear mud-besplashing +F.A.N.Y.s. (to judge from the <a name="Page_154" id="Page_154"></a>language of the sometime bespattered, the +adjective was not always 'dear'), with them cheeriness is almost a cult; +at 6 a.m. in the morning you may always be sure of a smile, even when +their sleep for the week has only averaged five hours per night."</p> + +<p>There were not many parties at Filbert during that summer. Off-time was +such an uncertain quantity. We managed to put in several though, +likewise some gallops on the glorious sands stretching for miles along +the coast. (It was hardly safe to call at the Convoy on your favourite +charger. When you came out from tea it was more than probable you found +him in a most unaccountable lather!) Bathing during the daytime was also +a rare event, so we went down in an ambulance after dark, macks covering +our bathing dresses, and scampered over the sands in the moonlight to +the warm waves shining and glistening with phosphorus.</p> + +<p>Zeppelin raids seemed to go out of fashion, but Gothas replaced them +with pretty considerable success. As we had a French Archie battery near +us it was no uncommon thing, when a raid was in progress, for our +souvenirs and plates, etc., to rattle off the walls and bomb us (more or +less gently) awake!</p> + +<p>There was a stretch of asphalt just at the bottom of our camp that had +been begun by an enterprising burgher as a tennis club before the war, +though others <i>did</i> say it was really intended as a secret German gun +emplacement. It did not matter much to us for which purpose it had been +made, for, as <a name="Page_155" id="Page_155"></a>it was near, we could play tennis and still be within +call. There was just room for two courts, and many a good game we +enjoyed there, especially after an early evacuation, in the long empty +pause till "brekker" at eight o'clock.</p> + +<p>"Wuzzy," or to give him his proper name, "Gerald," came into existence +about this time. He arrived from Peuplinghe a fat fluffy puppy covered +with silky grey curls. He was of nondescript breed, with a distinct +leaning towards an old English sheep dog. He had enormous fawn-coloured +silky paws, and was so soft and floppy he seemed as if he had hardly a +bone in his body. We used to pick him up and drop him gently in the +grass to watch him go out flat like a tortoise. He belonged to Lean, and +grew up a rather irresponsible creature with long legs and a lovable +disposition. He adored coming down to the ambulance trains or sitting +importantly on a car, jeering and barking at his low French friends in +the road, on the "I'm the king of the castle" principle. Another of his +favourite tricks was to rush after a car (usually selecting Lean's), and +keep with it the whole time, never swerving to another, which was rather +clever considering they were so much alike. On the way back to Camp he +had a special game he played on the French children playing in the +<i>Petit Courgain</i>. He would rush up as if he were going to fly at them. +They would scream and fall over in terror while he positively laughed at +them over his shoulder as he cantered off to try it on somewhere else. +The <a name="Page_156" id="Page_156"></a>camp was divided in its opinion of Wuzzy, or rather I should say +quartered—viz.—one quarter saw his points and the other three-quarters +decidedly did not!</p> + +<p>A priceless article appeared in one of the leading dailies entitled, +"Women Motor Drivers.—Is it a suitable occupation?" and was cut out by +anxious parents and forwarded with speed to the Convoy.</p> + +<p>The headlines ran: "The lure of the Wheel." "Is it necessary?" "The +after effects." We lapped it up with joy. Phrases such as "Women's +outlook on life will be distorted by the adoption of such a profession, +her finer instincts crushed," pleased us specially. It continued "All +the delicate things that mean, must mean, life to the feminine mind, +will lose their significance"—(cries of "What about the frillies you +bought in Paris, Pat?") "The uncongenial atmosphere"—I continued, +reading further—"of the garage, yard, and workshops, the alien +companionship of mechanics and chauffeurs will isolate her mental +standing" (shrieks of joy), "the ceaseless days and dull monotony of +labour will not only rob her of much feminine charm but will instil into +her mind bitterness that will eat from her heart all capacity for joy, +steal away her youth, and deprive her of the colour and sunlight of +life" (loud sobs from the listening F.A.N.Y.s, who still, strangely +enough, seemed to be suffering from no loss of <i>joie de vivre</i>!) When +the noise had subsided I continued: "There is of course the possibility +that she will become conscious of her condition and <a name="Page_157" id="Page_157"></a>change of mind, and +realize her level in time to counteract the ultimate effects(!). The +realization however may come too late. The aptitude for happiness will +have gone by for the transitory joys of driving, the questionable +intricacies of the magneto—" but further details were suspended owing +to small bales of cotton waste hurtling through the air, and in self +defence I had to leave the "intricacies of the magneto" and pursue the +offenders round the camp! The only reply Boss could get as a reason for +the tumult was that the F.A.N.Y.s were endeavouring to "realize the +level of their minds." "Humph," was Boss's comment, "First I've heard +that some of them even had any," and retired into her hut.</p> + +<p>We often had to take wounded German prisoners to No. 14 hospital, about +30 kilometres away. On these occasions we always had three armed guards +to prevent them from escaping. The prisoners looked like convicts with +their shorn heads and shoddy grey uniforms, and I always found it very +difficult to imagine these men capable of fighting at all. They seemed +pretty content with their lot and often tried to smile ingratiatingly at +the drivers. One day going along the sea road one of them poked me in +the back through the canvas against which we leant when driving and +said, "Ni—eece Englessh Mees!" I was furious and used the most forcible +German I could think of at a moment's notice. "Cheek!" I said to the +guard sitting beside me on the box, "I'd run them over the cliff for +tuppence."<a name="Page_158" id="Page_158"></a></p> + +<p>He got the wind up entirely: "Oh, Miss," he said, in an anxious voice, +"for Gawd's sake don't. Remember we're on board as well."</p> + +<p>The Rifle brigade came in to rest after the Guards had gone, and before +they left again for the line, gave a big race meeting on the sands. +Luckily for us there was no push on just then, and work was in +consequence very slack. A ladies' race was included in the Programme for +our benefit. It was one of the last events, and until it came off we +amused ourselves riding available mules, much to the delight of the +Tommies, who cheered and yelled and did their best to get them to "take +off!" They were hard and bony and had mouths like old sea boots, but it +was better than toiling in the deep sand.</p> + +<p>There were about fourteen entries for our race, several of them from +Lamarck, and we all drew for polo ponies lent from the Brigade. Their +owners were full of instructions as to the best method to get them +along. We cantered up to the starting post, and there was some delay +while Renny got her stirrups right. This was unfortunate, as our ponies +got a bit "cold." At last the flag fell, and we were off! It was +ripping; and the excitement of that race beat anything I've ever known. +As we thundered over the sands I began to experience the joys of seeing +the horses in front "coming back" to me, as our old jockey stable-boy +used to describe. Heasy came in first, MacDougal second, and Winnie and +I tied third. It was a great race entirely, and all too short by a long +way.<a name="Page_159" id="Page_159"></a></p> + +<p>One day I was detailed to drive the Matron and our section leader to a +fête of sorts for Belgian refugee orphans. On the way back, crossing the +swing bridge, we met Betty driving the sisters to their billets. I +thought Matron wanted to speak to them and luckily, as it turned out, I +slowed down. She changed her mind, however, and I was just picking up +again as we came abreast, when from behind Betty's car sprang a woman +right in front of mine (after her hat it appeared later, which the wind +had just blown across the road). The apparition was so utterly +unforeseen and unexpected that she was bowled over like a rabbit in two +shakes. I jammed on the brakes and we sprang out, and saw she was under +the car in between the wheel and the chassis. Luckily she was a small +thin woman, and as Gaspard has so eloquently expressed it on another +occasion, <i>platte comme une punaise</i> (flat as a drawing-pin). I was +horrified, the whole thing had happened so suddenly. A crowd of French +and Belgian soldiers collected, and I rapidly directed them to lift the +front of the car up by the springs, as it seemed the only way of getting +her out without further injury. I turned away, not daring to look, and +as I did so my eye caught sight of some hair near one of the back +wheels! That finished me up! I did not stop to reason that of course the +back wheels had not touched her, and thought, "My God, I've scalped +her!" and I leant over the railings feeling exceedingly sick. A friendly +M.P. who had seen the whole thing, patted me on the arm and said, "Now, +<a name="Page_160" id="Page_160"></a>then, Miss, don't you take on, that's only her false 'air," as indeed +it proved to be! The woman was yelling and groaning, "<i>Mon Dieu, je suis +tuée</i>," but according to the "red hat" she was as "right as rain, +nothing but 'ysteria." I blessed that M.P. and hoped we would meet +again. We helped her on to the front seat, where Thompson supported her, +while I drove to hospital to see if any damage had been done. Singularly +enough, she was only suffering from bruises and a torn skirt, and of +course the loss of her "false 'air" (which I had refused to touch, it +had given me such a turn). I can only hope her husband, who was with her +at the time, picked it up. He followed to hospital and gave her a most +frightful scolding, adding that of course the "Mees" could not do +otherwise than knock her down if she so foolishly sprang in front of +cars without warning; and she might think herself lucky that the "Mees" +would not run her in for being in the way! It has always struck me as +being so humorous that in England if you knock a pedestrian over they +can have you up, while in France the law is just the reverse. She sobbed +violently, and I had to tell him that what she wanted was sympathy and +not scolding.</p> + +<p>It took me a day or two to get over that scalping expedition (of course +the story was all round the camp within the hour!) and for some time +after I slowed down crossing the bridge. This was the one and only time +anything of the sort ever happened to me, thank goodness!<a name="Page_161" id="Page_161"></a></p> + +<p>Our camp began to look very smart, and the seeds we had sown in the +spring came up and covered the huts with creepers. We had as many +flowers inside our huts as we could possibly get into the shell cases +and other souvenirs which perforce were turned into flower vases—a +change they must have thought rather singular. The steady boom of the +guns used to annoy me intensely, for it shook the petals off the roses +long before they would otherwise have fallen, and I used to call out, +crossly, "<i>Do</i> stop that row, you're simply ruining my flowers." But +that made no difference to the distant gunners, who carried on night and +day causing considerably more damage than the falling petals from my +roses!</p> + +<p>We began to classify the new girls as they came out, jokingly calling +them "Kitchener's" Army, "Derby's Scheme," and finally, "Conscripts." +The old "regulars" of course put on most fearful side. It was amusing +when an air-raid warning (a siren known as "mournful Mary") went at Mess +and the shrapnel began to fly, to see the new girls all rush out to +watch the little white balls bursting in the sky, and the old hands not +turning a hair but going on steadily with the bully beef or Maconochie, +whichever it happened to be. Then one by one the new ones would slink +back rather ashamed of their enthusiasm and take their seats, and in +time they in turn would smile indulgently as the still newer ones dashed +out to watch.</p> + +<p>We had no dug-out to go to, even if we had wanted to. Our new mess tent +was built in the <a name="Page_162" id="Page_162"></a>summer; and we said good-bye for ever to the murky +gloom of the old Indian flapper.</p> + +<p>One day I had gone out to tea with Logan and Chris to an "Archie" +station at Pont le Beurre. During a pause I heard the following +conversation take place.</p> + +<p>Host to Logan: "I suppose, being in a Convoy Camp, you hear nothing but +motor shop the whole time, and get to know quite a lot about them?"</p> + +<p>"Rather," replied Logan, who between you and me hardly knew one end of a +car from the other, "I'm becoming quite conversant with the different +parts. One hears people exclaiming constantly: 'I've mislaid my big end +and can't think where I've put the carburettor!'" The host, who appeared +to know as much as she did, nodded sympathetically.</p> + +<p>Chris and I happened to catch the Captain's eye, and we laughed for +about five minutes. That big-end story went the round of the camp too, +you may be quite sure.</p> + +<p>Besides the regular work of barges, evacuation, and trains we had to do +all the ambulance work for the outlying camps, and cars were regularly +detailed for special <i>dépôts</i> the whole day long. Barges arrived mostly +in the mornings, and I think the patients in them were more surprised +than anyone to see girls driving out there, and were often not a little +fearful as to how we would cope! It was comforting to overhear them say +to each other on the journey: "This is fine, mate, ain't it?"<a name="Page_163" id="Page_163"></a></p> + +<p>When we drove the cases to the hospital ships the long quay along which +we took them barely allowed two cars to pass abreast. Turning when the +car was empty was therefore a ticklish business, and there was only one +place where it could be done. If you made a slip, there was nothing +between you and the sea 50 feet below. There was a dip in the platform +at one point, and by backing carefully on to this, it was just possible +to turn, but to do so necessitated running forward in the direction of +the quay, where there was barely the space of a foot left between the +front wheel and the edge. I know, sitting in the car, I never could see +any edge at all. If by any chance you misjudged this dip and backed +against the edge of the platform by mistake the car, unable to mount it, +rebounded and slid forward! It was always rather a breathless +performance at first; and beginners, rather than risk it, backed the +whole length of the quay. I did so myself the first time, but it was +such a necktwisting performance I felt I'd rather risk a ducking. With +practice we were able to judge to a fraction just how near the edge we +could risk going, and the men on the hospital ships would hold their +breath at the (I hope pardonable) swank of some of the more daring +spirits who went just as near as they could and then looked up and +laughed as they drove down the quay. After I was in hospital in England, +I heard that a new hand lost her head completely, and in Eva's newly +painted 'bus executed a spinning nose-dive right over the quay. A sight +I wouldn't have missed for worlds.<a name="Page_164" id="Page_164"></a> As she "touched water," however, the +F.A.N.Y. spirit predominated. She was washed through the back of the +ambulance (luckily the front canvas was up), and as it sank she +gallantly kicked off from the roof of the fast disappearing car. She was +an excellent swimmer, but two R.A.M.C. men sprang overboard to her +rescue, and I believe almost succeeded in drowning her in their efforts! +This serves to show what an extremely touchy job it was, and one we had +to perform in fogs or the early hours of a winter's morning when it was +almost too dark to see anything. Some Red Cross men drivers from Havre +watched us once, and declared their quay down there was wider by several +feet, but no one ever turned on it. It seemed odd at home to see two +girls on army ambulances. We went distances of sixty miles or more +alone, only taking an orderly when the cases were of a very serious +nature and likely to require attention <i>en route</i>.</p> + +<p>Once I remember I was returning from taking a new medical officer (a +cheerful individual, whose only remark during the whole of that +fifteen-mile run was, "I'm perished!") to an outlying camp. I wondered +at first if that was his name and he was introducing himself, but one +glance was sufficient to prove otherwise! On the way back alone, I +paused to ask the way, as I had to return by another route. The man I +had stopped (whom at first I had taken to be a Frenchman) was a German +prisoner, so I started on again; but wherever I looked there were +nothing but Germans, busily working at these <a name="Page_165" id="Page_165"></a>quarries. No guards were +in sight, as far as I could see, and I wondered idly if they would take +it into their heads to hold up the car, brain me, and escape. It was +only a momentary idea though, for looking at these men, they seemed to +be quite incapable of thinking of anything so original.</p> + +<p>Coming back from B. one day I started a huge hare, and with the utmost +difficulty prevented the good Susan from turning off the road, lepping +the ditch, and pursuing 'puss' across the flat pastures. Some sporting +'bus, I tell you!</p> + +<p>The Tanks made their first appearance in September, and weird and +wonderful were the descriptions given by the different men I asked whom +I carried on my ambulance. They appeared to be anything in size from a +hippopotamus to Buckingham Palace. It was one of the best kept secrets +of the war. When anyone asked what was being made in the large foundries +employed they received the non-committal reply "Tanks," and so the name +stuck.</p> + +<p>My last leave came off in the autumn, and while I was at home Lamarck +Hospital closed on its second anniversary—October 31, 1916. The +Belgians now had a big hut hospital at the Porte de Gravelines, and +wished to concentrate what sick and wounded they had there, instead of +having so many small hospitals. A great celebration took place, and +there was much bouquet handing and speechifying, etc.</p> + +<p>Our work for the Belgians did not cease with the closing of Lamarck, and +a convoy was formed with <a name="Page_166" id="Page_166"></a>the Gare Centrale as its headquarters, and so +released the men drivers for the line. The hospital staff and equipment +moved to Epernay, where a hospital was opened for the French in an old +Monastery and also a convoy of F.A.N.Y. ambulances and cars was +attached, so that now we had units working for the British, French, and +Belgians. Another unit was the one down at Camp de Ruchard, where +Crockett so ably ran a canteen for 700 convalescent Belgian soldiers, +while Lady Baird, with a trained nurse, looked after the consumptives, +of whom there were several hundreds. It will thus be seen that the +F.A.N.Y. was essentially an "active service" Corps with no units in +England at all.</p> + +<p>I had a splendid leave, which passed all too quickly, and oddly enough +before I left home I had a sort of premonition that something was going +to happen; so much so that I even left an envelope with instructions of +what I wanted done with such worldly goods as I possessed. I felt that +in making such arrangements I might possibly avert any impending +catastrophe!</p> + +<p>Heasy was on leave as well, and the day we were due to go back was a +Sunday. The train was to leave Charing Cross at four, which meant that +we would not embark till seven or thereabouts. It was wet and blustery, +and I did not relish the idea of crossing in the dark at all, and could +not help laughing at myself for being so funky. I had somehow quite made +up my mind we were going to be torpedoed. The people I was staying with +ragged me hard about <a name="Page_167" id="Page_167"></a>it. It was the 5th of November, too! As I stepped +out of the taxi at Charing Cross and handed my kit to the porter, he +asked: "Boat train, Miss?" I nodded. "Been cancelled owin' to storm," he +said cheerfully. I leapt out, and I think I shook him by the hand in my +joy. France is all right when you get there; but the day you return is +like going back to school. The next minute I saw Heasy's beaming face, +and we were all over each other at the prospect of an extra day. My old +godfather, who had come to see me off, was the funniest of all—a +peppery Indian edition. "Not going?" he exclaimed, "I never heard of +such a thing! In my day there was not all this chopping and changing." I +pointed out that he might at least express his joy that I was to be at +home another day, and fuming and spluttering we returned to the D's. +It's rather an anti-climax, after saying good-bye and receiving +everyone's blessing, to turn up suddenly once more!</p> + +<p>Heasy and I duly met at Charing Cross next morning, to hear that once +more the leave boat had been cancelled owing to loosened mines floating +about. Again I returned to my friends who by this time seemed to think I +had "come to stay." On the Wednesday (we were now getting to know all +the porters quite well by sight) we really did get off; but when we +arrived at Folkestone it was to find the platform crammed with returning +leave-men and officers, and to hear the same tale—the boat had <i>again</i> +been cancelled. None of the officers were being <a name="Page_168" id="Page_168"></a>allowed to return to +town, but by dint of good luck and a little palm oil, we dashed into a +cab and reached the other station just in time to catch the up-going +train. "We stay at an hotel to-night," I said to Heasy, "I positively +won't turn up at the D's <i>again</i>." We got to town in time for lunch, and +then went to see the <i>Happy Day</i>, at Daly's (very well named we +thought), where Heasy's brother was entertaining a party. He had seen us +off, "positively for the last time," at 7.30 that morning. We saw him in +the distance, and in the interval we instructed the programme girl to +take round a slip of paper on which we printed:—"If you will come round +to Stalls 21 and 22 you will hear of something to your advantage." +George Heasman came round utterly mystified, and when he saw us once +more, words quite failed him!</p> + +<p>On the Thursday down we went again, and this time we actually <i>did</i> get +on board, though they kept us hanging about on the Folkestone platform +for hours before they decided, and the rain dripped down our necks from +that inadequate wooden roofing that had obviously been put up by some +war profiteer on the cheap. The congestion was something frightful, and +there were twelve hundred on board instead of the usual seven or eight. +"We can't blow <i>over</i> at any rate," I said cheerfully to Heasy, in a +momentary lull in the gale. There were so many people on board that +there was just standing room and that was all. We hastily swallowed some +more Mother-sill and hoped for the best (we had <a name="Page_169" id="Page_169"></a>consumed almost a whole +boxful owing to our many false starts). We were in the highest spirits. +The only other woman on board was an army sister, who came and stood +near us. Lifebelts were ordered to be put on, and as I tied Heasy's the +aforementioned Sister turned to me and said: "You ought to tie that +tighter; it will come undone very easily in the waves!" Heasy and I were +convulsed, and so were all the people within earshot. "You mustn't be so +cheerful," I said, as soon as I could speak.</p> + +<p>It was the roughest crossing I've ever experienced, and there was no +time to indulge in "that periscope feeling," so aptly described by +Bairnsfather; we were too busy exercising Christian Science on our +"innards" and trying not to think of all the indigestible things we'd +eaten the night before! We rose on mountains of waves one moment and +then descended into positive valleys the next. I swear I would have been +perfectly all right if I had not heard an officer say "I hope it will +not be too rough to get into Boulogne harbour. The last time I crossed +we had to return to Folkestone!" * * * * Luckily his fears were +incorrect, and at last we arrived in the harbour, and I never was so +glad to see France in all my life! The F.A.N.Y.s had almost given us up +for good, and were all very envious when they heard of our adventures.</p> + +<p>Towards the end of that month the "Britannic," a hospital ship, was +torpedoed. As a preventive measure against future outrages of the kind +(not that <a name="Page_170" id="Page_170"></a>it would have made the Germans hesitate for a moment) twenty +prisoners were detailed to accompany each hospital ship on the voyage to +England. These men, under one of their own Sergeant-Majors, sat on the +edge of the platform until all the wounded were on board, and then were +marched on into a little wooden shelter specially erected. As they sat +on the edge, their feet rested on the narrow quay along which we drove, +and I loved to go as near as possible and pretend I was going over them, +just for the fun of watching the Boches roll on their backs in terror +with their feet high in the air. A new method of saying <i>Kamerad</i>! Those +prisoners did not care for me very much, I don't think, and I always +hope I shan't meet any of them <i>après la guerre</i>. Unfortunately this +pastime was stopped by the vigilant E.M.O.</p> + +<p>My hut was closed for "winter decorations," and the crême de menthe +coloured panthers were covered up by a hunting frieze. It was a +priceless show, one of the field appearing in a <i>chic</i> pair of red +gloves! I suppose they had some extra paint over from the pink coats. +Scene I. was the meet, with the fox lurking well within sight behind a +small gorse bush, but funnily enough not a hound got wind of him. Scene +III. was a good water-jump where one of the field had taken a toss right +into the middle of a stream. Considering the sandy spot he had chosen as +a take-off, he had no one to thank but himself. A lady further up on a +grey, obviously suffering from spavin, was sailing over like a two-<a name="Page_171" id="Page_171"></a>year +old. The last scene was of course a kill, the gentleman in the pink +gloves on the black horse being well to the fore. Altogether it was most +pleasing. Silk hunting "hankies" in yellow and other vivid colours, +ditto with full field, took the place of the now chilly looking +Reckitt's blue, and a Turkey rug on the floor completed the +transformation.</p> + +<p>When an early evacuation was not in progress, breakfast was at eight +o'clock, and at 10 minutes to, the whistles went for parade, which was +held in the square just in front of the cars. Those who were late were +put on fatigues without more ado, but in the ordinary way if there were +no delinquents we took it in turns, two every day.</p> + +<p>Often when that first whistle went, it found a good many of us still +"complete in flea-bag," and that scramble to get into things and appear +"fully dressed" was an art in itself. An overcoat, muffler, and a pair +of field boots went a long way to complete this illusion. Once however, +Boss, to everyone's pained surprise, said, "Will the troopers kindly +take off their overcoats!" With great reluctance this was done amid +shouts of laughter as three of us stood divested of coats in gaudy +pyjamas.</p> + +<p>Fatigue consisted of two things: One—"Tidying up the Camp," which was a +comprehensive term and meant folding up everyone's bonnet covers and +putting them in neat piles near the mess hut, collecting cotton waste +and grease tins, etc., and weeding the garden (a rotten job). The second +<a name="Page_172" id="Page_172"></a>was called "Doing the stoke-hole," i.e. cleaning out the ashes from the +huge boiler that heated the bath water, chopping sticks, laying the +fire, and brushing the "hole" up generally.</p> + +<p>Opinions were divided as to the merits of those two jobs. Neither was +popular of course, but we could choose. The latter certainly had its +points, because once done it was done for the day, while the former +might be tidy at nine, and yet by 10 o'clock lumps of cotton waste might +be blowing all over the place, tins and bonnet covers once more in +untidy heaps. I often "did the boiler," but I simply hated chopping the +sticks. One day the axe was firmly fixed in a piece of hard wood and I +was vainly hitting it against the block, with eyes tight shut, when I +heard a chuckle from the top of the steps. I looked up and there was a +Tommy looking down into the hole, watching the proceedings. Where he'd +come from I don't know. "Call those 'ands?" he asked. "'Ere, give it to +me"—indicating the axe. "I guess y'aint chopped many sticks, 'ave yer?" +"No," I said; "and I'm terrified of the thing!" I sat on the steps and +watched him deftly slicing the wood into thin slips. "This is a +fatigue," I said, by way of an explanation. That tickled him! He stopped +and chuckled, "You do fatigues just the same as we do?" he asked. "I +never heard anything to beat that. Well I never, wot's the crime, I +wonder? Look 'ere," he added, "I'll chop you enough to last fatigues for +a month, and you put 'em somewhere in the meantime,"<a name="Page_173" id="Page_173"></a> and in ten +minutes, mark you, there was a pile that rejoiced my heart. He was a +"Bird," that man, and no mistake.</p> + +<p>After brekker was over the first thing that had to be done before +anything else was to get one's 'bus running and in order for the day. +Once that was done we could do our huts, provided no jobs had come in; +and when that was done the engine had to be thoroughly cleaned, and then +the car. I might add that this is an ideal account of the proceedings +for, as often as not, we went out the minute the cars were started. +Three days elapsed sometimes before the hut could have a "turn out." On +these occasions one just rolled into one's bed at night unmade and +unturned, too tired to care one way or the other.</p> + +<p>Some of the girls got a Frenchwoman, "Alice" by name, to do their "cues" +for them. She used to bring her small baby with her and dump him down +anywhere in the corridor, sometimes in a waste paper basket, till she +was done. One morning he howled bitterly for about an hour, and at last +I went out to see what could be the matter. "Oh, Mees, it is that he has +burnt himself against the stove, the careless one" (he couldn't walk, so +it must have been her own fault). "I took him to a <i>Pharmacie</i> but he +has done nothing but cry ever since."</p> + +<p>Now I had fixed up a small <i>Pharmacie</i> in one of the empty "cues," +complete with sterilised dressings and rows of bottles, and bandaged up +whatever cuts and hurts there were, in fact my only sorrow was there +were not more "cases." Considering <a name="Page_174" id="Page_174"></a>the many men we had had at Lamarck +burnt practically all over from fire-bombs, I suggested that she should +bring the baby into the <i>Pharmacie</i> and see if I could do anything for +it. She was quite willing, and carried it in, when I undid the little +arm (only about six inches long) burnt from the elbow to the wrist! The +chemist had simply planked on some zinc ointment and lint. I got some +warm boracic and soaked it off gently, though the little thing redoubled +its yells, and a small crowd of F.A.N.Y.s dashed down the passage to see +what was up. "It's only Pat killing a baby" was one of the cheerful +explanations I heard. So encouraging for me. I dressed it with Carron +oil and to my relief the wails ceased. She brought it every morning +after that, and I referred proudly to my "out-patient" who made great +progress. Within ten days the arm had healed up, and Alice was my +devoted follower from that time on.</p> + +<p>We had a lot of work that autumn, and barges came down regularly as +clockwork. Many of these cases were taken to the Duchess of Sutherland's +Hospital. She had given up the Bourbourg Belgian one some time before +and now had one for the British, where the famous Carroll-Dakin +treatment was given. One night, taking some cases to the Casino +hospital, there was a boy on board with his eyes bandaged. He had +evidently endeared himself to the Sister on the train, for she came +along with the stretcher bearers and saw him safely into my car. +"Good-bye, Sister," I heard him say, in a <a name="Page_175" id="Page_175"></a>cheery voice, "thank you a +thousand times for your kindness—you wait till my old eyes are better +and I'll come back and see you. I know you must look nice," he +continued, with a laugh, "you've got such a kind voice."</p> + +<p>Tears were in her eyes as she came round to speak to me and whisper that +it was a hopeless case; he had been so severely injured he would never +see again.</p> + +<p>I raged inwardly against the powers that cared not a jot who suffered so +long as their own selfish ends were achieved.</p> + +<p>That journey was one of the worst I've ever done. If the boy had not +been so cheerful it would have been easier, but there he lay chatting +breezily to me through the canvas, wanting to know all about our work +and asking hundreds of questions. "You wait till I get home," he said, +"I'll have the best eye chap there is, you bet your life. By Jove, it +will be splendid to get these bandages off, and see again."</p> + +<p>Was the war worth even one boy's eyesight? No, I thought not.<a name="Page_176" id="Page_176"></a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIV" id="CHAPTER_XIV"></a>CHAPTER XIV</h2> + +<div class='center'><big>CHRISTMAS, 1916</big></div> + + +<p>Taking some wounded Germans to No. 14 hospital one afternoon we were +stopped on the way by a road patrol, a new invention to prevent +joy-riding. Two Tommies rushed out from the hedges, like highwaymen of +old, waving little red flags (one of the lighter efforts of the War +Office). Perforce we had to draw up while one of them went into the +<i>Estaminet</i> (I noticed they always chose their quarters well) to bring +out the officer. His job was to examine papers and passes, and sort the +sheep from the goats, allowing the former to proceed and turning the +latter away!</p> + +<p>The man in question was evidently new to the work and was exceedingly +fussy and officious. He scanned my pink pass for some time and then +asked, "Where are you going?" "Wimereux," I replied promptly. He looked +at the pass again—"It's got "<i>W</i>imer<i>oo</i>," here, and not what <i>you</i> +said," he answered suspiciously. "Some people pronounce it 'Vimerer,' +nevertheless," I could not refrain from replying, rather tartly.</p> + +<p>Again he turned to the pass, and as it started to <a name="Page_177" id="Page_177"></a>snow in stinging +gusts (and I was so obviously one of the "sheep"), I began to chafe at +the delay.</p> + +<p>As if anyone would joy-ride in such weather without a wind screen, I +thought disgustedly. (None of the cars had them.)</p> + +<p>"Whom have you got in behind?" was the next query.</p> + +<p>I leant forward as if imparting a secret of great importance, and said, +in a stage whisper: "Germans!"</p> + +<p>He jumped visibly, and the two flag-wagging Tommies grinned delightedly. +After going to the back to find out if this was so, he at last very +reluctantly returned my pass.</p> + +<p>"Thinks we're all bloomin' spies," said one of the guards, as at last we +set off to face the blinding snow, that literally was blinding, it was +so hard to see. The only method was to shut first one eye and then the +other, so that they could rest in turns!</p> + +<p>On the way back we passed a motor hearse stuck on the Wimereux hill with +four coffins in behind, stretcher-wise.</p> + +<p>The guard gave a grunt. "Humph," said he, "They makes yer form fours +right up to the ruddy grave, they do!"</p> + +<p>We were not so far from civilization in our Convoy as one might have +supposed, for among the men in the M.T. yard was a hairdresser from the +Savoy Hotel!</p> + +<p>He made a diffident call on Boss one day and said <a name="Page_178" id="Page_178"></a>it would give him +great pleasure to shampoo and do up the "young ladies' hair" for them in +his spare time "to keep his hand in." He was afraid if the war lasted +much longer he might forget the gentle art!</p> + +<p>We rose to the occasion and were only too delighted, and from then +onwards he became a regular institution up at the Convoy.</p> + +<p>News was brought to us of the torpedoing of the "Sussex," and the +terrible suffering the crew and passengers endured. It was thought after +she was struck she would surely sink, and many deaths by drowning +occurred owing to overcrowding the lifeboats. Like the "Zulu," however, +when day dawned it was found she was able to come into Boulogne under +her own steam. After driving some cases over there, I went to see the +remains in dry dock. It was a ghastly sight, made all the more poignant +as one could see trunks and clothes lying about in many of the cabins, +which were open to the day as if a transverse section had been made. The +only humorous incident that occurred was that King Albert was arrested +while taking a photo of it! I don't think for a moment they recognized +who he was, for, with glasses, and a slight stoop, he does not look +exactly like the photos one sees, and they probably imagined he was +bluffing. He was marched off looking intensely amused! One of the French +guards, when I expressed my disappointment at not being able to get a +photo, gave me the address of a friend of his who had taken <a name="Page_179" id="Page_179"></a>some +official ones for France, so I hurried off, and was lucky to get them.</p> + +<p>The weather became atrocious as the winter advanced and our none too +water-tight huts showed distinct signs of warping. We only had one +thickness of matchboarding in between us and the elements, and, without +looking out of the windows, I could generally ascertain through the +slits what was going on in the way of weather. I had chosen my "cue" +looking sea-ward because of the view and the sunsets, but then that was +in far away Spring. Eva's was next door, and even more exposed than +mine. When we happened to mention this state of affairs to Colonel C., +he promised us some asbestos to line the outer wall if we could find +someone to put it up.</p> + +<p>Another obliging friend lent us his carpenter to do the job—a burly +Scot. The fact that we cleaned our own cars and went about the camp in +riding breeches and overalls, not unlike land-girls' kit, left him +almost speechless.</p> + +<p>The first day all he could say was, "Weel, weel, I never did"—at +intervals.</p> + +<p>The second day he had recovered himself sufficiently to look round and +take a little notice.</p> + +<p>"Ye're one o' them artists, I'm thinkin'," he said, eyeing my panthers +disparagingly. (The hunting frieze had been taken down temporarily till +the asbestos was fixed.)</p> + +<p>"No, you mustn't think that," I said apologetically.<a name="Page_180" id="Page_180"></a></p> + +<p>"Ha ye no men to do yon dirty worrk for ye?" and he nodded in direction +of the cars. "Scandalizing, and no less," was his comment when he heard +there were not. In two days' time he reported to his C.O. that the job +was finished, and the latter overheard him saying to a pal, "Aye mon, +but A've had ma outlook on life broadened these last two days." B. +'phoned up hastily to the Convoy to know what exactly we had done with +his carpenter.</p> + +<p>Work was slack in the Autumn owing to the fearful floods of rain, and +several of the F.A.N.Y.s took up fencing and went once a week at eight +o'clock to a big "Salle d'Escrime" off the Rue Royale. A famous Belgian +fencer, I forget his name, and a Frenchman, both stationed in the +vicinity, instructed, and "Squig" kindly let me take her lessons when +she was on leave. Fencing is one of the best tests I know for teaching +you to keep your temper. When my foil had been hit up into the air about +three times in succession to the triumphant <i>Riposte</i>! of the little +Frenchman, I would determine to keep "Quite cool." In spite of all, +however, when I lunged forward it was with rather a savage stamp, which +he would copy delightedly and exclaim triumphantly—"Mademoiselle se +fâche!" I could have killed that Frenchman cheerfully! His quick orders +"<i>Paré, paré</i>—<i>quatre, paré</i>—<i>contre</i>—<i>Riposté</i>!" etc. left me +completely bewildered at first. Hope was a great nut with the foils and +she and the Frenchman had veritable battles, during which the little +man, on his mettle and very excited, would squeal exactly like a +rabbit.<a name="Page_181" id="Page_181"></a> The big Belgian was more phlegmatic and not so easily moved.</p> + +<p>One night I espied a pair of boxing gloves and pulled them on while +waiting for my turn. "Mademoiselle knows <i>la boxe</i>?" he asked +interestedly.</p> + +<p>"A little, a very little, Monsieur," I replied. "Only what my brother +showed me long ago."</p> + +<p>"Montrez," said he, drawing on a pair as well, and much to the amusement +of the others we began preliminary sparring. "Mademoiselle knows +<i>ze-k</i>-nock-oot?" he hazarded.</p> + +<p>I did not reply, for at that moment he lifted his left arm, leaving his +heart exposed. Quick as lightning I got in a topper that completely +winded him and sent him reeling against the wall. When he got his breath +back he laughed till the tears rolled down his cheeks, and whenever I +met him in the street he flew up a side alley in mock terror. I was +always designated after that as <i>Mademoiselle qui sait la boxe—oh, la +la</i>!</p> + +<p>In spite of repeated efforts on the part of R.E.s. there was a spot in +the roof through which the rain persistently dripped on to my face in +the night. They never could find it, so the only solution was to sleep +the other way up! <i>C'est la guerre</i>, and that's all there was to it.</p> + +<p>One cold blustery day I had left "Susan" at the works in Boulogne and +was walking along by the fish market when I saw a young fair-haired +staff officer coming along the pavement toward me. "His face is very +familiar," I thought to myself, <a name="Page_182" id="Page_182"></a>and then, quick as a flash—"Why, it's +the Prince of Wales, of course!" He seemed to be quite alone, and except +for ourselves the street was deserted. How to cope? To bob or not to +bob, that was the question? Then I suddenly realized that in a stiff +pair of Cording's boots and a man's sheepskin-lined mackintosh, sticking +out to goodness knows where, it would be a sheer impossibility. I +hastily reviewed the situation. If I salute, I thought, he may think I'm +taking a liberty! I decided miserably to do neither and hoped he would +think I had not recognized him at all<ins title="Transcriber's Note: Period added">.</ins> As we came abreast I looked +straight ahead, getting rather pink the while. Once past and calling +myself all manner of fools, I thought "I'm going to turn round, and +stare. One doesn't meet a Prince every day, and in any case 'a cat may +look at a king!'" I did so—the Prince was turning round too! He smiled +delightfully, giving me a wonderful salute, which I returned and went on +my way joyfully, feeling that it had been left to him to save the +situation, and very proud to think I had had a salute all to myself.</p> + +<p>Christmas came round before we knew where we were, and Boss gave the +order it was to be celebrated in our own mess. Work was slack just then +and Mrs. Williams gave a tea and dance in the afternoon at her canteen +up at Fontinettes. It was a picturesque-looking place with red brick +floor, artistic-looking tables with rough logs for legs and a large open +fireplace, typically English, which must have rejoiced the hearts of men +so far from Blighty.<a name="Page_183" id="Page_183"></a></p> + +<p>It was a very jolly show, in spite of my partner bumping his head +against the beam every time we went round, and people came from far and +near. It was over about five, and we hastened back to prepare for our +Christmas dinner in Mess.</p> + +<p>Fancy dress had been decided on, and as it was to be only among +ourselves we were given carte blanche as to ideas. They were of course +all kept secret until the last moment. Baby went as a Magpie and looked +very striking, the black and white effect being obtained by draping a +white towel straight down one side over the black nether garments +belonging to our concert party kit.</p> + +<p>I decided to go as a <i>Vie Parisienne</i> cover. A study in black and +daffodil—a ravishing confection—and also used part of our "FANTASTIK" +kit, but made the bodice out of crinkly yellow paper. A chrysanthemum of +the same shade in my hair, which was skinned back in the latest +door-knob fashion, completed the get-up.</p> + +<p>Baby and I met on our way across the camp and drifted into mess +together, and as we slowly divested ourselves of our grey wolf-coats we +were hailed with yells of delight.</p> + +<p>Dicky went as Charlie's Aunt, and Winnie as the irresistible nephew. Eva +was an art student from the Quartier Latin, and Bridget a charming +two-year old. The others came in many and various disguises.</p> + +<p>We all helped to clear away in order to dance afterwards, and as I ran +into the cook-house with <a name="Page_184" id="Page_184"></a>some plates I met the mechanic laden with the +tray from his hut.</p> + +<p>The momentary glimpse of the <i>Vie Parisienne</i> was almost too much for +the good Brown. I heard a startled "Gor blimee! Miss" and saw his eyes +popping out of his head as he just prevented the tray from eluding his +grasp!</p> + +<p>Soon after Christmas a grain-ship, while entering Boulogne harbour in a +storm, got blown across and firmly fixed between the two jetties, which +are not very wide apart. To make matters worse its back broke and so +formed an effectual barrier to the harbour and took from a fortnight to +three weeks to clear away.</p> + +<p>Traffic was diverted to the other ports, and for the time being Boulogne +became almost like a city of the dead.</p> + +<p>One port had been used solely for hospital ships up till then, and the +scenes of bustle and confusion that replaced the comparative calm were +almost indescribable. We saw many friends returning from Christmas +leave, who for the most part had not the faintest idea where they had +arrived. There were not enough military cars to transport the men to +Fontinettes, so besides our barge and hospital work we were temporarily +commissioned by the Local Transport Office.</p> + +<p>I was detailed to take two officers inspecting the Archic stations north +of St. Omer one wet snowy afternoon, and many were the adventures we +had. It was a great thing to get up right behind our lines <a name="Page_185" id="Page_185"></a>to places +where we had never been before, and Susan ploughed through the mud like +a two-year old, and never even so much as punctured. We were on our way +back at a little place called Pont l'Abbesse, about 6.30, when the snow +came down in blinding gusts. With only two side lamps, and a pitch dark +night, the prospect of ever finding our way home seemed nil, and every +road we took was bordered by a deep canal, with nothing in the way of a +fence as protection. It was bitterly cold, and once we got completely +lost; three-quarters of an hour later finding ourselves at the same +cottage where we had previously asked the way!</p> + +<p>At last we found a staff car that promised to give us a lead, and in +time we reached the main St. Omer road, finally getting back to +Pont-le-Beurre about 10 p.m. I 'phoned up to the Convoy to tell them I +was still in the land of the living, and after a bowl of hot soup sped +back to camp.</p> + +<p>My hands were so cold I had to sit on them in turns, and as for feet, I +didn't seem to have any. Still it was "some run," and the next day I +spent a long time hosing off the thick clay which almost completely hid +the good Susan from sight.</p> + +<p>Another temporary job we had was to drive an army sister (a sort of +female Military Landing Officer) to the boat every day, where she met +the sisters coming back from leave and directed them to the different +units and hospitals.</p> + +<p>One of the results of the closing of Boulogne harbour was that instead +of the patients being eva<a name="Page_186" id="Page_186"></a>cuated straight to England we had to drive +them into Boulogne, where they were entrained for Havre! A terrible +journey, poor things. Twenty to twenty-four ambulances would set off to +do the thirty kilometres in convoy, led at a steady pace by the Section +Leader. These journeys took place three times a week, and often the men +would get bitterly cold inside the cars. If there was one puncture in +the Convoy we all had to stop till a spare wheel was put on. We eagerly +took the opportunity to get down and do stamping exercises and "cabby" +arms to try and get warm. To my utmost surprise, on one of these +occasions my four stretcher patients got up and danced in the road with +me. Why they were "liers" instead of "sitters" I can't think, as there +was not much wrong with them. <i>À propos</i> I remember asking one night +when an ambulance train came in in the dark, "Are you liers or sitters +in here?" and one humorist scratched his head and replied, "I don't +rightly know, Sister, I've told a few in my time!" To return to our long +convoy journeys: once we had deposited our patients it was not +unnaturally the desire of this "dismounted cavalry" unit to try the +speed of its respective 'buses one against the other on the return +journey; to our immense disappointment this idea was completely nipped +in the bud, for Boss rode on the first car.</p> + +<p>Permission however was given to pass on hills, as it was considered a +pity to overheat a car going down to second gear when it could easily +have done the <a name="Page_187" id="Page_187"></a>hill on third! That Boulogne road is one of the hilliest +in France, and Susan was a nailer on hills. I remember arriving in camp +second one day. "How have <i>you</i> got here?" asked Boss in surprise, "I +purposely put you nineteenth!"</p> + +<p>Heasy, Betty, and I in celebration of two years' active service had +permission to give a small dance in the mess at the beginning of the new +year. We trembled lest at the last moment an ambulance train might +arrive, but there was nothing worse than an early evacuation next +morning and all went off excellently. I was entrusted to make the "cup," +and bought the ingredients in the town (some cup), and gravely assured +everyone there was absolutely "nothing in it." The boracic powder was +lifted in my absence from the <i>Pharmacie</i> to try and get the first +glimmerings of a slide on that sticky creosoted floor. The ambulances, +fitted with paper Chinese lanterns, were temporarily converted into +sitting out places. It was a great show.</p> + +<p>There was one job in the Convoy we all loathed like poison; it was known +as "corpses." There was no chance of dodging unpopular jobs, for they +worked out on an absolutely fair system. For instance, the first time +the telephone bell went after 8 a.m. (anything before that was counted +night duty) it was taken by a girl whose name came first in alphabetical +order. She rushed out to her car, but before going "warned" B. that when +the bell next went it would be <i>her</i> job, and so on throughout the day. +If you were<a name="Page_188" id="Page_188"></a> "warned," it was an understood thing that you did not begin +any long job on the car but stayed more or less in readiness. If the +jobs got half through the alphabet by nightfall the last girl warned +knew she was first for it the next morning.</p> + +<p>To return to the corpses. What happened was that men were frequently +falling into the canals and docks and were not discovered till perhaps +three weeks later. An ambulance was then rung up, and the corpse, or +what remained of it, was taken to the mortuary.</p> + +<p>One day Bobs was called on to give evidence at a Court of Enquiry with +regard to a corpse she had driven, as there was some mystification with +regard to the day and hour at which it was found. As she stepped smartly +up to the table the Colonel asked her how, when it occurred some ten +days ago, she could be sure it was 4.30 when she arrived on the scene.</p> + +<p>"It was like this," said she. "When I heard it was a corpse, I thought +I'd have my tea first!" (This was almost as bad as the tape measure +episode and was of course conclusive. I might add, corpses were the only +jobs that were not allowed to interfere with meals.)</p> + +<p>"Foreign bodies," in the shape of former Belgian patients, often drifted +up to camp in search of the particular "Mees" who had tended them at +Lamarck, as often as not bringing souvenirs made at great pains in the +trenches as tokens of their gratitude.<a name="Page_189" id="Page_189"></a> It touched us very much to know +that they had not forgotten.</p> + +<p>One night when my evening duty was nearing its close and I was just +preparing to go to my hut the telephone bell rang, and I was told to go +down to the hospital ship we had just loaded that afternoon for a man +reported to be in a dying condition, and not likely to stand the journey +across to England—I never could understand why those cases should have +been evacuated at all if there was any possibility of them becoming +suddenly worse; but I suppose a certain number of beds had to be cleared +for new arrivals, and individuals could not be considered. It seemed +very hard.</p> + +<p>I drove down to the Quay in the inky blackness, it was a specially dark +night, turned successfully, and reported I had come for the case.</p> + +<p>An orderly, I am thankful to say, came with him in the car and sat +behind holding his hand.</p> + +<p>The boy called incessantly for his mother and seemed hardly to realize +where he was. I sat forward, straining my eyes in the darkness along +that narrow quay, on the look-out for the many holes I knew were only +too surely there.</p> + +<p>The journey seemed to take hours, and I answered a query of the +orderly's as to the distance.</p> + +<p>The boy heard my voice and mistook me for one of the Sisters, and then +followed one of the most trying half-hours I have ever been through.</p> + +<p>He seemed to regain consciousness to a certain extent and asked me from +time to time,<a name="Page_190" id="Page_190"></a></p> + +<p>"Sister, am I dying?"</p> + +<p>"Will I see me old mother again, Sister?"</p> + +<p>"Why have you taken me off the Blighty ship, Sister?"</p> + +<p>Then there would be silence for a space, broken only by groans and an +occasional "Christ, but me back 'urts crool," and all the comfort I +could give was that we would be there soon, and the doctor would do +something to ease the pain.</p> + +<p>Thank God, at last we arrived at the Casino. One of the most trying +things about ambulance driving is that while you long to get the patient +to hospital as quickly as possible you are forced to drive slowly. I +jumped out and cautioned the orderlies to lift him as gently as they +could, and he clung on to my hand as I walked beside the stretcher into +the ward.</p> + +<p>"You're telling me the truth, Sister? I don't want to die, I tell you +that straight," he said. "Goodbye and God bless you; I'll come and see +you in the morning," I said, and left him to the nurses' tender care. I +went down early next day but he had died at 3 a.m. Somebody's son and +only nineteen. That sort of job takes the heart out of you for some +days, though Heaven knows we ought to have got used to anything by that +time.</p> + +<p>To make up for the wet autumn a hard frost set in early in the year.</p> + +<p>The M.T. provided us with anti-freezing mixture for the radiators, but +the antifreezing cheerfully froze! We tried emptying them at night, +turning <a name="Page_191" id="Page_191"></a>off the petrol and running the engine till the carburettor was +dry (for even the petrol was not above freezing), and wrapping up the +engines as carefully as if they were babies, but even that failed.</p> + +<p>Starting the cars up in the morning (a detail I see I have not mentioned +so far), even in ordinary times quite a hard job, now became doubly so.</p> + +<p>It was no uncommon sight to see F.A.N.Y.s lying supine across the +bonnets of their cars, completely winded by their efforts. The morning +air was full of sobbing breaths and groans as they swung in vain! This +process was known as "getting her loose"—(I'm referring to the car not +the F.A.N.Y., though, from personal experience, it's quite applicable to +both.)</p> + +<p>Brown or Johnson (the latter had replaced Kirkby) was secured to come if +possible and give the final fillip that set the engine going. It's a +well-known thing that you may turn at a car for ten minutes and not get +her going, and a fresh hand will come and do so the first time.</p> + +<p>This swinging left one feeling like nothing on earth, and sometimes was +a day's work in itself.</p> + +<p>In spite of all the precautions we took, whatever water was left in the +water pipes and drainings at the bottom of the radiators froze solidly, +and sure enough, when we had got them going, clouds of steam rose into +the air. The frost had come to stay and moreover it was a black one.<a name="Page_192" id="Page_192"></a></p> + +<p>Something had to be done to solve the problem for it was imperative for +every car to be ready for the road first thing in the morning.</p> + +<p>Camp fires were suggested, but were impracticable, and then it was that +"Night Guards" were instituted.</p> + +<p>Four girls sat up all night, and once every hour turned out to crank up +the cars, run them with bonnet covers on till they were thoroughly warm, +and then tuck them up again till the next time. We had from four to five +cars each, and it will give some idea of the extreme cold to say that +when we came to crank them again, in roughly three-quarters of an hour's +time, they were <i>almost</i> cold. The noise must have been heard for some +distance when the whole Convoy was roaring and racing at once like a +small inferno. But in spite of this, I know that when it was not our +turn to sit up we others never woke.</p> + +<p>As soon as the cars were tucked up and silent again we raced back to the +cook-house, where we threw ourselves into deck chairs, played the +gramophone, made coffee to keep us awake, or read frightening books—I +remember I read "Bella Donna" on one of these occasions and wouldn't +have gone across the camp alone if you'd paid me. A grand midnight +supper also took up a certain amount of time.</p> + +<p>That three-quarters of an hour positively flew, and seemed more like ten +minutes, but punctually at the second we had to turn out again, +willy-nilly—<a name="Page_193" id="Page_193"></a>into that biting cold with the moon shining frostily over +everything apparently turning it into steel.</p> + +<p>The trouble was that as the frost continued water became scarce—baths +had stopped long ago—and it began to be a question of getting even a +basinful to wash in. Face creams were extensively applied as the only +means of saving what little complexions we had left! The streets of the +town were in a terrible condition owing principally to the hygienic +customs of the inhabitants who <i>would</i> throw everything out of their +front doors or windows. The consequence was that, without exaggeration, +the ice in some places was two feet thick, and every day fresh layers +were formed as the French housewives threw out more water. No one +remained standing in a perpendicular position for long, and the +difficulty was, once down, how to get up again.</p> + +<p>Finally water became so scarce we had to bring huge cans in a lorry from +the M.T., one of the few places not frozen out, and there was usually +ice on them when they arrived in camp. Then the water even began to +freeze as we filled up our radiators; and, finally, we were reduced to +chopping up the ice in our tank and melting it for breakfast! One +morning, however, Bridget came to me in great distress. "What on earth +shall I do," said she, "I've finished all the ice, and there's not a bit +left to make the tea for breakfast? I know you'll think of something," +she added hopefully.</p> + +<p>I had been on night guard and the idea of no hot tea was a positive +calamity.<a name="Page_194" id="Page_194"></a></p> + +<p>I thought for some minutes. "Here, give me the jug," I said, and out I +went. After looking carefully round to see that I was not observed, I +quietly tapped one of the radiators.</p> + +<p>"I'll tell you after breakfast where it came from," I said, as I +returned with the full jug. Bridget seized it joyfully and must have +been a bit suspicious as it was still warm, but she was much too wise to +ask any questions.</p> + +<p>We had a cheery breakfast, and when it was over I called out, "I hope +you all feel very much better and otherwise radiating? You ought to at +all events!"</p> + +<p>"Why?" they asked curiously. "Well, you've just drunk tea made out of +'radium,'" I replied. "Absolutely priceless stuff, known to a few of the +first families by its original name of 'radiator water,'" and I escaped +with speed to the fastnesses of my hut.</p> + + +<h4>THE STORY OF A PERFECT DAY</h4> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">(<i>From "Barrack Room Ballads of the F.A.N.Y. Corps,"</i></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;"><i>By kind permission of Winifred Mordaunt, F.A.N.Y.</i>)</span><br /> +<br /></p> + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="A Perfect Day"> +<tr><td align='left'>We were smoking and absently humming</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>To anyone there who could play—</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>(We'd finished our tea in the Mess hut</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Awaiting an ambulance train—)</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Roasting chestnuts some were, while the rest,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Cut up toffee or sang a refrain.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Outside was a bitter wind shrieking—</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>(Thank God for a fug in the Mess!)</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Never mind if the old stove is reeking</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>If only the cold's a bit less—<a name="Page_195" id="Page_195"></a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>But one of them starts and then shivers</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>(A goose walking over her tomb)</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Gazes out at the rain running rivers</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>And says to the group in the room:</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>"Just supposing the 'God of Surprises'</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Appeared in the glow of a coal,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>With a promise before he demises</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>To take us away from this hole</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>And do just whatever we long to do.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Tell me your perfect day."</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Said one, "Why, to fly to an island</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Far away in a deep blue lagoon;</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>One would never be tired in my land</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Nor ever get up too soon."</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>"Every time," cried the girl darning stockings,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>"We'd surf-ride and bathe in the sea,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>We'd wear nothing but little blue smockings</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>And eat mangoes and crabs for our tea."</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>"Oh no!" said a third, "that's a rotten</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Idea of a perfect day;</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>I long to see mountains forgotten,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Once more hear the bells of a sleigh.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>I'd give all I have in hard money</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>For one day of ski-ing again,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>And to see those white mountains all sunny</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Would pretty well drive me insane."</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Then a girl, as she flicked cigarette ash</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Most carelessly on to the floor,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Had a feeling just then that her pet "pash"</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Would be a nice car at the door,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>To motor all day without fagging—</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Not to drive nor to start up the thing.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Oh! the joy to see someone else dragging</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>A tow-rope or greasing a spring!</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Then a fifth murmured, "What about fishing?</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Fern and heather right up to your knees</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>And a big salmon rushing and swishing</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>'Mid the smell of the red rowan trees."</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>So the train of opinions drifted</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>And thicker the atmosphere grew,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Till piercing the voices uplifted<a name="Page_196" id="Page_196"></a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Rang a sound I was sure I once knew.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>A sound that set all my nerves singing</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>And ran down the length of my spine,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>A great pack of hounds as they're flinging</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Themselves on a new red-hot line!</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>A bit of God's country is stretching</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>As far as the hawk's eye can see,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>The bushes are leafless, like etching,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>As all good dream fences should be.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>There isn't a bitter wind blowing</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>But a soft little southerly breeze,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>And instead of the grey channel flowing</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>A covert of scrub and young trees.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>The field of course is just dozens</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Of people I want to meet so—</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Old friends, to say nothing of cousins</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Who've been killed in the war months ago.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Three F.A.N.Y.s are riding like fairies</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Having drifted right into my dreams,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>And they're riding their favourite "hairies"</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>That have been dead for years, so it seems.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>A ditch that I've funked with precision</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>For seasons, and passed by in fear,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>I now leap with a perfect decision</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>That never has marked my career.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>For a dream-horse has never yet stumbled;</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Far away hounds don't know how to flag.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>A dream-fence would melt ere it crumbled,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>And the dream-scent's as strong as a drag.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Of course the whole field I have pounded</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Lepping high five-barred gates by the score,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>And I don't seem the least bit astounded,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Though I never have done it before!</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>At last a glad chorus of yelling,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Proclaims my dream-fox has been viewed—</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>But somewhere some stove smoke is smelling</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Which accounts for my feeling half stewed—</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>And somewhere the F.A.N.Y.s are talking</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>And somebody shouts through the din:</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>"What a horrible habit of snoring—</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Hit her hard—wake her up—the train's in."</td></tr> +</table></div> + +<p><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197"></a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER XV</h2> + +<div class='center'><big>CONVOY PETS, COMMANDEERING, AND THE "FANTASTIKS"</big></div> + + +<p>We took turns to go out on "all-night duty"; a different thing from +night guards, and meant taking any calls that came through after 9 p.m. +and before 8 a.m. next morning.</p> + +<p>They were usually from outlying camps for men who had been taken ill or +else for stranded Army Sisters arriving at the Gare about 3 a.m. waiting +to be taken to their billets.</p> + +<p>It was comparatively cheery to be on this job when night guards were in +progress, as there were four hefty F.A.N.Y.s sitting up in the +cook-house, your car warm and easy to crank, and, joy of joys, a hot +drink for you when you came back!</p> + +<p>In the ordinary way as one scrambled into warm sweaters and top coats +the dominant thought was, would the car start all right out there, with +not a hand to give a final fillip once the "getting loose" process was +accomplished?</p> + +<p>Luckily my turns came round twice during night guards, and the last time +I had to go for a pneumonia case to Beau Marais. It was a bright +moonlight <a name="Page_198" id="Page_198"></a>night, almost as light as day, with everything glittering in +the frozen snow. Susan fairly hopped it! After having found the case, +which took some doing, and deposited him in No. 30 hospital, I sped back +to camp.</p> + +<p>As I crossed the Place d'Armes and drove up the narrow Rue de la Mer, +Susan seemed to take a sudden header and almost threw a somersault! I +had gone into an invisible hole in the ice, two feet deep, extending +half across the street. For some reason it had melted (due probably to +an underground bakery in the vicinity). I reversed anxiously and then +hopped out to feel Susan's springs as one might a horse's knees. Thank +goodness they had not snapped, so backing all the way down the street +again, relying on the moon for light, I proceeded cautiously by another +route and got back without further mishap.</p> + +<p>Our menagerie was gradually increasing. There were now three dogs and +two cats in camp, not to mention a magpie and two canaries, more of +which anon. There was Wuzzy, of course, and Archie (a naughty looking +little Sealyham belonging to Heasy) and a mongrel known as G.K.W. (God +knows what) that ran in front of a visiting Red Cross touring car one +day and found itself in the position of the young lady of Norway, who +sat herself down in the doorway! I did not witness the untimely end, but +I believe it was all over in a minute.</p> + +<p>One cat belonged to Eva, a plain-looking animal, black with a half-white +face, christened "Miss Dip"<a name="Page_199" id="Page_199"></a> (an inspiration on my part suggested by the +donor's name, on the "Happy Family" principle). She was the apple of her +eye, nevertheless, and nightly Eva could be heard calling "Dip, Dip, +Dip," all over the camp to fetch her to bed. Incidentally it became +quite an Angelus for us.</p> + +<p>Considering the way she hunted all the meat shops for tit bits, that cat +ought to have been a show animal—but it wasn't. One day as our fairy +Lowson was lightly jumping from a window-sill she inadvertently "came in +contact" with Dip's tail, the extreme tip of which was severed in +consequence! In wrathful indignation Eva rushed Dip down to the Casino +in an ambulance, where one of the foremost surgeons of the day operated +with skill and speed and made a neat job of it, to the entire +satisfaction of all concerned. If her tail still remains square at the +end she can tell her children she was <i>blessée dans la guerre</i>. The +other cat was a tortoiseshell and appropriately called "Melisande in the +Wood," justified by the extraordinary circumstances in which she was +discovered. One day at No. 35 hut hospital I saw three of the men +hunting in a bank opposite, covered with undergrowth and small shrubs. +They told me that for the past three days a kitten had been heard +mewing, but in spite of all their efforts to find it, they had failed to +do so. I listened, and sure enough heard a plaintive mew. The place was +a network of clinging roots, but presently I crawled in and found it was +just possible to get along on hands and knees. It was most +mysterious—the <a name="Page_200" id="Page_200"></a>kitten could be heard quite loud one minute, and when +we got to the exact spot it would be some distance away again. (It +reminded me of the Dutch ventriloquist's trick in Lamarck). It was such +a plaintive mew I was determined to find that kitten if I stayed there +all night. At last it dawned on me, it must be in a rabbit hole; and +sure enough after pushing and pulling my way along to the top of the +bank, I found one over which a fall of earth had successfully pushed +some wire netting from the fence above. I waited patiently, and in due +time caught sight of a little black, yellow, and white kitten; but the +minute I made a grab for it, it bolted. I pulled the netting away, but +the hole was much too deep for so small a creature to get out by itself, +and it was much too frightened to let me catch it. With great difficulty +I extricated myself and ran to the cookhouse, where I soon enlisted +Bridget's aid. We got some small pieces of soft raw meat and crawled to +the top of the bank again. After long and tedious coaxing I at last +grabbed the little thing spitting furiously while Bridget gave it some +food, and in return for my trouble it bit and scratched like a young +devil! It was terribly hungry and bolted all we had brought. When we got +her to the cook-house she ran round the place like a mad thing, and +turned out to be rather a fast cat altogether when she grew up. We +tossed for her, Bridget won, and she was duly christened with a drop of +tinned milk on her forehead, "Melisande in the Wood."<a name="Page_201" id="Page_201"></a></p> + +<p>The magpie belonged to Russell, and came from Peuplinghe. Magpies are +supposed to be unlucky birds. This one certainly brought no luck to its +different owners. Shortly after its arrival Russell was obliged to +return to England for good. Before going, however, she presented Jacques +to Captain White at Val de Lièvre. Sure enough after some time he was +posted to the Boche prisoner camp at Marquise—a job he did not relish +at all. I don't know if he took Jacques with him, but the place was +bombed shortly after and the Huns killed many of their own men, and +presumably Jacques as well. So he did his bit for France.</p> + +<p>The canaries belonged to Renny—at least at first she had only one. It +happened in this wise. The man at the disinfector (where we took our +cars and blankets to be syringed after an infectious case), had had a +canary given him by his "best girl" (French). He did not want a canary +and had nowhere to keep it, but, as he explained, he did not know enough +of the language to say so, and thought the easiest way out of the +difficulty was to accept it. "Give me the bird, proper, she 'as," he +added.</p> + +<p>The trouble was he did not reckon on her asking after it, which she most +surely did. He could hardly confess to her that he had passed the +present on so instead he conveyed the news to her, somehow, that the +"pore little bird had gone and died on 'im." She expressed her horror +and forthwith produced a second!</p> + +<p>"Soon 'ave a bloomin' aviary at this rate," he <a name="Page_202" id="Page_202"></a>remarked as he handed +the second one over! No more appeared, however, and the two little +birds, both presumably dead, twittered and sang merrily the length of +the "cues."</p> + +<p>As the better weather arrived so our work increased again, and in March +the Germans began a retreat in the west along a front of 100 miles. We +worked early and late and reached the point of being able to drive +almost asleep. An extraordinary sensation—you avoid holes, you slip the +clutch over bumps, you stop when necessary, and go on ditto, and at the +same time you can be having dreams! More a state of coma than actual +sleep, perhaps. I think what happened was one probably slept for a +minute and then woke up again to go off once more.</p> + +<p>I became "Wuzzy's" adopted mother about now and, whenever I had time, +combed and brushed his silver curls till they stood out like fluff. He +could spot Susan miles away, and though it was against rules I sometimes +took him on board. As we neared camp I told him he must get down, but he +would put on an obstinate expression and deliberately push himself +behind my back, in between me and the canvas, so that I was almost on +the steering wheel. At other times he would listen to me for awhile, +take it all in, and then put his head on my shoulder with such an +appealing gesture that I used to risk being spotted, and let him remain. +He simply adored coming out if I was going riding, but I disliked having +him intensely, for he ran about under the horses, nibbling at them and +making himself a general <a name="Page_203" id="Page_203"></a>nuisance. He would watch me through half shut +eyes the minute I began polishing my riding boots; and try as I would to +evade him he nearly always came in the end.</p> + +<p>He got so crafty in time he would wait for me at the bottom of the drive +and dash out from among the shrubs just as I was vanishing. One day we +had trotted some distance along the Sangatte road, and I was just +congratulating myself I had given him the slip, when looking up, there +he was sitting on a grassy knoll just ahead, positively laughing and +licking his chops with self-satisfied glee. I gave it up after that, I +felt I couldn't cope with him, and yet there were those who called him +stupid! I grant you he had his bad days when he was referred to as my +"idiot son," but even then he was only just "peculiar"—a world of +difference.</p> + +<p>One job we had was termed "lodgers" and consisted of meeting the +"sitting" cases from an ambulance train, taking them to the different +hospitals for the night, and then back to the quay early next morning in +time to catch the hospital ship to England. The stretcher cases had been +put on board the night before, but there was no sleeping accommodation +for so many "sitters." An ordinary evacuation often took place as well, +so that before breakfast we had sometimes carried as many as thirty-five +sitting cases, and done journeys with twelve stretchers. One day at No. +30 hospital I saw several of the girls beside a stretcher, and there was +the "Bovril king" lying swathed in <a name="Page_204" id="Page_204"></a>blankets, chatting affably! He was +the cook at No. 30, a genial soul, who always rushed out in the early +hours of the morning when one was feeling emptiest, with a cup of hot +soup. He called it doing his bit, and always referred to himself proudly +as the "Bovril king." Alas, he was now being invalided home with +bronchitis!</p> + +<p>Hope came back from leave and told me she had been pursued half way down +Regent Street by a fat old taxi driver who asked after me. It was dear +old Stone, of course, now returned to civil life and his smart taxi with +the silver "vauses!" I have hunted the stands in vain for his smiling +rosy face, but hope to spot him some day and have my three days' joy +ride.</p> + +<p>One precious whole afternoon off, a very rare event, I went out for a +ride with Captain D. He rode "Baby," a little bay mare, and I rode a +grey, a darling, with perfect manners and the "sweetest" mouth in the +world. He was devoted to "Baby," and wherever she went he went too, as +surely as Mary's little lamb.</p> + +<p>We struck off the road on to some grass and after cantering along for +some distance found we were in a network of small canals—the ground was +very spongy and the canal ahead of us fortunately not as wide as the +rest. We got over safely, landing in deep mud on the other side, and +decided our best plan was to make for the road again. We espied a house +at the end of the strip we were in with a road beyond, and agreed that +there must be a bridge or <a name="Page_205" id="Page_205"></a>something leading to it. Captain D. went off +at a canter and I saw Baby break into a startled gallop as a train +steamed up on the line beyond the road. They disappeared behind the +house and I followed on at a canter. I turned the corner just in time to +see them almost wholly immersed in a wide canal and the gallant Captain +crawling over Baby's head on to the bank! It was one of those deceptive +spots where half the water was overgrown with thick weeds and cress, +making the place appear as narrow again.</p> + +<p>The grey was of course hot on Baby's track. Seeing her plight I +naturally pulled up, but he resented this strongly and rose straight on +his hind legs. Fearing he would over-balance, I quickly slacked the +reins and leant forward on his neck. But it was too late; that slippery +mud was no place to try and regain a foothold, and over he came. I just +had time to slip off sideways, promptly lost my foothold and collapsed +as well. How I laughed! There was Captain D. on one side of the canal +vainly trying to capture his "wee red tourie" floating down stream, and +Baby standing by with the mud dripping from her once glossy flanks; and +on the other was I, sitting laughing helplessly in the mud, and the grey +(now almost brown) softly nosing my cap and eyeing his beloved on the +further bank with pained surprise!</p> + +<p>To crown all, the train, which had come to a standstill, was by the +irony of fate full of Scottish soldiers on their way up the line. Such a +bit of luck in the shape of a free cinema show had rarely <a name="Page_206" id="Page_206"></a>come their +way and they were bent on enjoying it to the fullest extent. The fact +that the officer now standing ruefully on the bank was in Tartan riding +"troos" of course added to the piquancy of the situation.</p> + +<p>The woman had come out of her cottage by this time and kept exclaiming +at intervals, "Oh, la-la, Oh, la-la," probably imagining that this +mudbath was only a new pastime of the mad English. She at last was kind +enough to open the gate; and thither I led the grey and then across a +plank bridge beyond, previously hidden from sight.</p> + +<p>We scraped the mud off the saddles under a running fire of witty +comments from the train. I knew the whole thing had given them so much +enjoyment that I bore them no illwill. I could see their point of view +so well, it must have been such fun to watch! "Hoots, mon," they called +to the now thoroughly embarrassed D., as we mounted, "are ye no going to +lift the lassie oop?" I was glad we were "oop" and away before the train +started again, and as we trotted along the road, cries of "Guid luck to +ye!" "May ye have a happy death!" (which is a regular north-country +wish, and a very nice one when you come to think of it), followed us. +The batman eyed us suspiciously as we reached Fontinettes where he was +waiting for the horses, and remarked that they seemed to have had a "bit +roll." My topcoat I'm glad to say covered all traces of the "bit roll" I +had indulged in on my own. It was a great ride entirely.</p> + +<p>One night for some reason I was unable to sleep—a <a name="Page_207" id="Page_207"></a>rare occurrence—and +bethought me of an exciting spy book, called the <i>German Submarine +Base</i>, I had begun weeks before but had had no time to finish. All was +dead quiet with the exception of the distant steady boom of the guns, +which one of course hardly noticed. I had just got to the most thrilling +part and was holding my breath from sheer excitement when whiz! sob! +bang! and a shell went spinning over the huts. For a moment I thought I +must be dreaming or that the book was bewitched. Next minute I was out +of bed like a rabbit, and turning off the light, dashed outside just as +the second went over. I naturally looked skyward, but there was not a +sign of anything and, stranger still, not even the throb of an engine. A +third went over with a loud screech, and my hair was blown into the air +by the rushing wind it caused. I saw a flash from the sea and Thompson +said she was wakened by my voice calling, "I say, come out and see this +new stunt." Soon everyone was up and the shells came on steadily, +blowing our hair about, and making the very pebbles rush rattling along +the ground, hitting against our feet with such force we thought at first +it must be spent shrapnel. Some of those shells screeched and some +miauled like huge cats hurtling through the air to spring on their prey. +These latter made a cold shiver run down my spine; the noise they made +was so blood-curdling. One could cope with the ordinary ones, but +frankly, these were beastly. Luckily they only went over about every +tenth. It was something quite <a name="Page_208" id="Page_208"></a>new getting shells of this calibre from +such a short range, and "side-ways," too, as someone expressed it; quite +a different sensation from on top. The noise was deafening; and then one +struck the bank our camp was built on. We had no dug-out and seemingly +were just waiting to be potted at. We got the cars ready in case we were +called up, and the shells whizzed over all the time. There was another +explosion—one had landed in our incinerator! Good business! Another hit +the bank again! Once more the fact of being so near the danger proved +our safety, for with these three exceptions, they all passed over into +the town beyond. The smell of powder in the air was so strong it made us +sneeze. It was estimated roughly that 300 shells were lobbed into the +town, and all passing over us on the way.</p> + +<p>It was a German destroyer that had somehow got down the coast +unchallenged, and was—we heard afterwards—only at a distance of 100 +yards! What a chance for good shooting on our part; but it was a pitch +black night and somehow she got away in the velvet darkness. Sounds of +firing at sea—easily distinguishable from those on land because of the +"plop" after them—continued throughout the night and we thought a naval +battle was in progress somewhere; however, it proved to be one of the +bombardments of England, according to the papers next day. To our great +disappointment, our little "drop in the bucket" of 300 odd shells was +not even mentioned.<a name="Page_209" id="Page_209"></a></p> + +<p>There was much eager scratching in the bank for bits of shells the next +day. One big piece was made into a paper-weight by the old Scotch +carpenter, and another was put on the "narrow escape" shelf among the +other bits that had "nearly, but not quite!"</p> + +<p>Wild rumours had got round the camps and town that the "lady drivers had +got it proper," been "completely wiped out," in fact not one left alive +to tell the lurid tale. So that wherever we drove the next morning we +were greeted with cheery nods and smiles by everyone. The damage to the +town was considerable, but the loss of life singularly small. The Detail +Issue Stores had gone so far as to exchange bets as to whether we would +appear to draw rations that morning, and as I drove up with Bridget on +the box we were greeted right royally. One often found large oranges in +one's tool box, or a bag of nuts, or something of the kind, popped in by +a kindly Tommy who would pass the car and merely say: "Don't forget to +look in your tool-box when you get to camp, Miss," and be gone before +you could even thank him! All the choicest "cuts" were also reserved for +us by the butcher and we were altogether spoilt pretty generally.</p> + +<p>Tommy is certainly a nailer at what he terms "commandeering." I was down +at the M.T. yard one day and as I left, was told casually to look in the +box when I got to camp. I did so, and to my horror saw a wonderful foot +pump—the pneumatic sort. I had visions of being hauled up before <a name="Page_210" id="Page_210"></a>a +Court of Enquiry to produce the said pump, which was a brand new one and +painted bright red. On my next job I made a point of going round by the +M.T. yard to return the "present." I found my obliging friend, who was +pained in the extreme at the mere mention of a pump. "Never 'eard of +one," he affirmed stoutly. "Leastways," he said reminiscently, looking +at me out of the corner of his eye, "I do seem to remember something +about a stawf car bein' in 'ere this morning when yours was"—and he +smiled disarmingly. "Look 'ere," he continued, "you forget all about it, +Miss. I 'ates to see yer puffing at the tyres with them old-fashioned +ones, and anyway," with a grin, "that car's in Abbeville now!"</p> + +<p>Another little example of similar "commandeering" was when my friend of +the chopped sticks turned up one day with a small Primus stove: "I 'eard +you was askin' for one, and 'ere it is," and with that he put it down +and fled. After the pump episode I was full of suspicions about little +things that "turned up" from nowhere, but for a long time I had no +opportunity of asking him exactly where the gift had come from. One +night, however, one of the doctors from the adjacent hut hospital was up +in camp, and Primus stoves suddenly cropped up in the conversation. +"Most extraordinary thing," said he, "my batman is as honest as the day, +and can't account for the disappearance of my stove at all. No one went +into my hut, he declares, and yet the stove is gone, and not so much <a name="Page_211" id="Page_211"></a>as +a sign of it. One thing is I'd know it if I saw it again." I started +guiltily at this, and got rather pink—"Look here," I said, "come into +my hut a moment." He did so. "By Jove! that's my stove right enough," he +cried, "I know the scratches on it. How on earth did you get it?" "That +I can't tell you," I replied, "but you can have it back" (graciously), +"and look here, it wasn't <i>your</i> batman, so rest easy." He was too wise +to ask unnecessary questions (one didn't in France), and only too +thankful to get his Primus, which he joyfully carried back in state. It +was a pity about it, because they were impossible to get at that time, +and our huts had already been raided for electric kettles.</p> + +<p>Gothas came frequently to visit us at night and terrible scenes took +place, during which we were ordered out amid the dropping bombs to carry +the injured to hospital, but more often than not to collect the dead, or +what was left of them.</p> + +<p>One morning I was in great distress, for I lost my purse through the +lining of my wolf-coat. It was not the loss of the purse that worried +me, but the fact that I always kept the little medal of the Virgin and +Child in there, given me by the old Scotch nun in Paris "for +protection." "Eva," I called, "I've lost my luck—that little charm I +had given me in 1915—I do wish I hadn't. I'm not superstitious in the +ordinary way, but I kind of believe in that thing;" she only laughed +however. But I took the trouble to advertise for it in the local +paper—unfortunately with no result. I was very distressed.<a name="Page_212" id="Page_212"></a></p> + +<p>Our concert party got really quite a slap-up show going about this time. +We also had a drop scene behind—a huge white linen sheet on which we +<i>appliquéd</i> big black butterflies fluttering down to a large sunflower +in the corner, the petals of which were the same yellow as the bobbles +on our dresses. We came to the conclusion that something of the sort was +necessary, for as often as not we had to perform in front of +puce-coloured curtains that hardly showed us up to the best advantage.</p> + +<p>One of the best shows we ever gave I think was for the M.T. <i>dépôt</i>. +They did so much for us one way and another repairing cars (not to +mention details like the foot pump episode), that we were only too glad +to do something for them in return. The <i>pièce de résistance</i> (at least, +Dicky and I thought so) was a skit we got up on one of "Lena's" concert +party stars—a ventriloquist stunt. We thought of it quite suddenly and +only had time for one rehearsal before the actual performance. I paid a +visit to Corporal Coy of the mortuary (one of the local low comedians, +who, like the coffin-cart man at Lamarck, "had a merry eye!" and was a +recognized past-master in the art of make-up), and borrowed his little +bowler hat for the occasion. He listened solemnly to the scheme, and +insisted on making me a fascinating little Charlie Chaplin moustache +(the requisites for which he kept somewhere in the mortuary with the +rest of his disguises!) and he then taught me to waggle it with great +skill!<a name="Page_213" id="Page_213"></a></p> + +<p>Dicky was the "doll" with round shiny patches of red on her cheeks and a +Tommy's cap and hospital blue coat. She supplied the glassy stare +herself most successfully. For these character stunts we simply put on +caps and coats over our "Fantastik" kit and left the rest to the +imagination of the audience who was quick (none quicker) to grasp the +implied suggestion. I was "Mr. Lenard Ashwell" in aforementioned bowler, +moustache, and coat. We made up the dialogue partly on the basis of the +original performance, and added a lot of local colour. I asked the +questions, and was of course supposed to ventriloquize the answers, and, +thanks to the glassy stare of my doll, her replies almost convinced the +audience I was doing so.</p> + +<p>They had all seen the real thing a fortnight before, so that we were +greeted with shouts of laughter as the curtain went up.</p> + +<p>The trouble was, as we had only written the book of words that day it +was rather hard for me to remember them, so I had taken the precaution +of safety-pinning them on my doll's back. It was all right for her as +she got the cue from me. It was not difficult, half supporting her as I +appeared to be, to squint behind occasionally for the next jest! On one +of these occasions my incorrigible doll horrified me by winking at the +audience and exclaiming, to their delight, "The bloke's got all the +words on my back!" She then revolved out of my grasp, and spun slowly +round on her stool. This unrehearsed effect quite brought the house +down, and <a name="Page_214" id="Page_214"></a>not to be outdone, I raised my small bowler repeatedly in +acknowledgment!</p> + +<p>I was a little taken aback the next morning when the man at the petrol +stores said, "My, but you wos a fair treat as Charlie Chaplin last +night, Miss." (It must have been Corporal Coy's moustache that did it, +not to mention lifting my bowler from the rear!)</p> + +<p>The more local colour you get in a show of that sort the better the men +like it, and we parodied all the latest songs as fast as they came out. +Winnie and "Squig" in Unity More's "<i>Clock strikes Thirteen</i>" were +extremely popular, especially when they sang with reference to cranking +up in the mornings:</p> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="Oh what a grind"> +<tr><td align='left'>Wind, wind.<i>Oh</i>what a grind!</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">I could weep, I could swear, I could scream,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Both my arms ache, and my back seems to break</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">But she'll go when the clock strikes thirteen.</span><br /><br /></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Oh, oh (with joy), at last she will go!</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>There's a spark from the bloomin' machine,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>She's going like fire, when bang goes a tyre</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>And we'll start when the clock strikes thirteen!</td></tr> +</table></div> + + +<p>The whole programme was as follows:—</p> + +<p class='hangindent'>1. The <span class="smcap">Fantastiks</span> announce their shortcomings in +chorus of original words to the opening music of the Bing +Boys—"We're the <span class="smcap">Fantastiks</span>, and we rise at six and +don't get much time to rehearse, so if songs don't go, and +the show is slow, well, we hope you'll say it might have +been worse," etc., etc.<a name="Page_215" id="Page_215"></a></p> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary="Programme2"> +<tr><td align='left'>2.</td> +<td align='left'><i>Violin</i></td> +<td align='left'>1. "Andantino" (Kreisler) <br />2. "Capriccioso" (Drdla)</td> +<td valign="middle" class="tdleft" style="white-space: nowrap; font-size: 22pt">}</td> +<td align='left'><span class="smcap">P.B. Waddell</span></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='left'>3.</td> +<td align='left'><i>Recitation</i></td> +<td align='left'>Humorous</td> +<td align='left'></td> +<td align='left'><span class="smcap">N.F. Lowson</span></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='left'>4.</td> +<td align='left'><i>Chorus Song</i> </td> +<td align='left'>"Piccadilly"</td> +<td align='left'></td> +<td align='left'><span class="smcap">Fantastiks</span>(in monocles)</td></tr> + +<tr><td align='left'>5.</td> +<td align='left'><i>Stories</i></td> +<td align='left'></td> +<td align='left'></td> +<td align='left'><span class="smcap">M. Richardson</span></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='left'>6.</td> +<td align='left'><i>China Town</i></td> +<td align='left'></td> +<td align='left'></td> +<td align='left'><span class="smcap">Fantastiks</span></td></tr> +</table></div> + +<div class='center'>(Sung in the dark with lighted Chinese lanterns, quite<br /> +professional in effect—at least we hoped so!)</div> + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary="Programme2"> +<tr><td align='left'>7.</td> +<td align='left'><i>Recitation</i></td> +<td align='left'></td> +<td align='left'>Serious</td> +<td align='left'></td> +<td align='left'><span class="smcap">B. Hutchinson</span></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='left'>8.</td> +<td align='left'>Mr. Lenard Ashwell and <br />his Ventriloquist Doll</td> +<td valign="middle" class="tdleft" style="white-space: nowrap; font-size: 22pt">}</td> +<td align='left'></td> +<td valign="middle" class="tdleft" style="white-space: nowrap; font-size: 22pt">{</td> +<td align='left'><span class="smcap">M. Richardson</span><br /><span class="smcap">P.B. Waddell</span></td></tr> + +<tr><td align='left'>9.</td> +<td align='left'><i>Duet</i></td><td align='left'></td> +<td align='left'>"When the Clock strikes Thirteen"</td> +<td align='left'></td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">G. Quin and</span><br /><span class="smcap">W. Mordaunt</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>10.</td> +<td align='left'><i>Violin Solo</i></td><td align='left'></td> +<td align='left'>"Zigeunerweisen" (Sarasate)</td> +<td align='left'> </td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">P.B. Waddell</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>11.</td> +<td align='left'><i>Song</i></td><td align='left'></td> +<td align='left'>"Au Revoir" </td> +<td align='left'></td> +<td align='left'><span class="smcap">W. Mordaunt</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>12.</td> +<td align='left'><i>The Kangaroo Hop</i></td> +<td align='left'></td> +<td align='left'></td> +<td align='left'></td> +<td align='left'><span class="smcap">Fantastiks</span></td></tr> +</table></div> + + +<p>The chorus wore their goat-coats for this last item, and with animal +masks fixed by elastic, bears, wolves, elephants, etc., it was +distinctly realistic.</p> + +<p>When "God save the King" had been sung, and the usual thanks and cheers +given, and received, the Sergeant-Major from the Canteen (with the +beautiful waxed moustache) rushed forward to say that light refreshments +had been provided. The "grizzly bears" were only too thankful, as they +had had no time to snatch even a bun before they left camp.<a name="Page_216" id="Page_216"></a></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER XVI</h2> + +<div class='center'><big>THE LAST RIDE</big></div> + + +<p>The hardest job in the Convoy was admittedly that of the big lorry, for, +early and late, it was first and last on the field.</p> + +<p>It took all the stretchers and blankets to the different hospitals, +cleared up the quay after an early evacuation, brought stretchers and +blankets up to the Convoy, took the officers' kits to hospital and +boats, and rationed the ambulance trains and barges. "Jimmy" took to the +Vulcan instinctively when the Convoy was first started and jealously +kept to the job, but after a time she was forcibly removed therefrom in +order to take a rest. I could sympathize—I knew how I had felt about +the little lorry.</p> + +<p>The job was to be taken in fortnightly turns, and while the old Vulcan +lorry was being overhauled a Wyllis-Overland was sent in its place.</p> + +<p>The disadvantage of the lorry was that you never saw any of your +friends, for you were always on duty when they were off, and vice versa; +also you hardly ever had meals when they did. Eva's fortnight was almost +up, and I was hoping to see something of her before I went on leave when +one night <a name="Page_217" id="Page_217"></a>in she came with the news that I was the next one for +it—hardly a welcome surprise; and down at barges that evening—it was a +Sunday—Gamwell, the Sergeant, told me officially I was to take on the +job next morning at 5 a.m.</p> + +<p>When I got back to Camp I went for a preliminary run on it, as I had +never driven that make before. The tyres were solid, all vestige of +springs had long since departed from the seat and the roof was covered +with tin that bent and rattled like stage thunder. The gears were in the +middle and very worn, and the lever never lost an opportunity of +slipping into first as you got out, and consequently the lorry tried to +run over you when you cranked up! Altogether a charming car. You drove +along like a travelling thunder-clap, and coming up the slope into Camp +the earth fairly shook beneath you. I used to feel like the whole of +Valhalla arriving in a Wagner Opera! It was also quite impossible to +hear what anyone said sitting on the seat beside you.</p> + +<p>The third day, as I got out, I felt all my bones over carefully. "When I +come off this job," I called to Johnson, "I shall certainly swallow a +bottle of gum as a wise precaution." He grinned appreciatively.</p> + +<p>Lowson, who had had her turn before Eva, appropriately christened it +"Little Willie," and I can affirm that that car had a Hun soul.</p> + +<p>You were up and dressed at 5 a.m. and waited about camp till the +telephone bell rang to say the train had arrived. Schofield, the +incinerator man <a name="Page_218" id="Page_218"></a>who was usually in the camp at that hour, never failed +to make a cup of tea—a most welcome thing, for one never got back to +camp to have breakfast till 11 or 11.30 a.m. I used to spend the +interval, after "Little Willie" was all prepared for the road, combing +out Wuzzy's silver curls. He always accompanied the lorry and was +allowed to sit, or rather jolt, on the seat beside me, unrebuked. After +breakfast there was the quay to clear up and all the many other details +to attend to, getting back to camp about 3 to go off in an hour's time +to barges. When a Fontinettes ambulance train came down, the lorry +driver was lucky if she got to bed this side of 2 a.m.</p> + +<p>All social engagements in the way of rides, etc., had to be cancelled in +consequence, but the Monday before I went into hospital the grey and +Baby appeared up in camp about 5.30. I was hanging about waiting for the +telephone to say the barge had arrived, but as there was a high wind +blowing it was considered very unlikely it would come down the canal +that evening. I 'phoned to a station several miles up to enquire if it +was in sight, and the reply came back "Not a sign," and I accordingly +got permission to go out for half an hour. I was so afraid Captain D. +might not consider it worth while and could have almost wept, but +fortunately he agreed half an hour was better than nothing, and off we +went up the sands, leaving the bob-tailed Wuzzy well in the rear. What a +glorious gallop that was—my last ride! The sands appeared almost +<a name="Page_219" id="Page_219"></a>golden in the sun and the wind was whipping the deep blue waves into +little crests of foam against the paler turquoise of the sky. Already +the flowers on the dunes had burst into leaf, for it was the "merrie +month of May," and there, away on the horizon, the white cliffs of +England could just be discerned. Altogether it was good to be alive. +"Hurrah," I cried, as we slowed down to a walk, "five more days and then +on leave to England!" and I rubbed the grey's neck with joy. Alas! that +half hour flew like ten minutes and we turned all too soon and raced +back, thudding along over the glorious sands as we went.</p> + +<p>I got to the Convoy to find there was no news of the barge, but I had to +dismount all the same—duty is duty—and I kissed the grey's nose, +little thinking I should never see him again. The barge did not come +down till 9 o'clock the next morning. <i>C'est la guerre</i>—and a <i>very</i> +trying one to boot!</p> + +<p>The weather was ideal just then: warm and sunny and not a cloud in the +sky except for those little round white puffs where the Archie shells +burst round the visiting Huns.</p> + +<p>One afternoon about 5 o'clock, when breakfast had been at lunch time and +consequently that latter meal had been <i>n'apoo'd</i> altogether, I went +into the E.M.O.'s for the chits before leaving for camp. (These initials +stood for "Embarkation Medical Officer" and always designated the office +and shed where the blankets and stretchers were kept; also, +incidentally, the place where the Corporal <a name="Page_220" id="Page_220"></a>and two men slept.) As I +entered a most appetising odour greeted my nostrils and I suddenly +realized how very hungry I was. I sniffed the air and wondered what it +could be.</p> + +<p>"Just goin' to have a cockle tea," explained the Corporal. "I suppose, +Miss, you wouldn't care to join us?" I knew the brew at the Convoy would +be long since cold, and accepted the invitation joyfully.</p> + +<p>Their "dining-room" was but the shed where the stretchers were piled up, +many of them brown and discoloured by blood, and bundles of fusty army +blankets, used as coverings for the wounded, reached almost to the +ceiling. They were like the stretchers in some cases, and always sticky +to the touch. I could not repress a shudder as I turned away to the much +more welcome sight of tea. A newspaper was spread on the rough table in +my honour and Wheatley was despatched "at the double" to find the only +saucer! (Those who knew the good Wheatley will perhaps fail to imagine +he could attain such a speed—dear Wheatley, with his long spindle legs +and quaint serio-comic face. He was a man of few words and a heart of +gold.)</p> + +<p>I look back on that "cockle tea" as one of my happiest memories. It was +so jolly and we were all so gay and full of hope, for things were going +well up the line.</p> + +<p>I had never tasted cockles before and thought they were priceless. We +discussed all manner of things during tea and I learnt a lot about their +<a name="Page_221" id="Page_221"></a>aspirations for <i>après la guerre</i>. It was singular to think that within +a short month, of that happy party Headley the Corporal alone remained +sound and whole. One was killed by a shell falling on the E.M.O. One was +in hospital crippled for life, and the third was brought in while I was +there and died shortly after from septic pneumonia. Little did we think +what was in store as we drank tea so merrily!</p> + +<p>Wheatley insisted on putting a bass bag full of cockles into the lorry +before I left, and when I got to camp I ran to the cook-house thinking +how they would welcome a variation for supper.</p> + +<p>"Cockles?" asked Bridget. "Humph, I suppose you know they grow on sewers +and people who eat them die of ptomaine poisoning?" "No," I said, not at +all crestfallen, "do they really, well I've just eaten a whole bag full! +If they give me a military funeral I do hope you'll come," and I +departed, feeling rather hurt, to issue further invitations.</p> + +<p>I was drawing petrol at the Stores the next day and as I was signing for +it the man there (my Charlie Chaplin friend) kindly began to crank up.</p> + +<p>As he did so I saw Little Willie move gently forward, and ran out to +slip the gear back into "neutral."</p> + +<p>"It's a Hun and called 'Little Willie,'" I explained as I did so.</p> + +<p>"Crikey, wot a car," he observed, "no wonder you calls it that. Don't +you let him put it acrosst you, Miss."<a name="Page_222" id="Page_222"></a></p> + +<p>"He's only four more days to do it in," I thought joyfully, as I rattled +off to the Quay, and yet somehow a premonition of some evil thing about +to happen hung over me, and again I wished I hadn't lost my charm.</p> + +<p>The next day was Wednesday, and I had been up since 5 and was taking a +lorry-full of stretchers and blankets past a French Battery to the +E.M.O.'s. It was about midday and there was not a cloud in the sky. Then +suddenly my heart stood still. Somehow, instinctively, I knew I was "for +it" at last. Whole eternities seemed to elapse before the crash. There +was no escape. Could I urge Little Willie on? I knew it was hopeless; +even as I did so he bucketed and failed to respond. He would! How I +longed for Susan, who could always be relied upon to sprint forward. At +last the crash came. I felt myself being hurled from the car into the +air, to fall and be swept along for some distance, my face being +literally rubbed in the ground. I remember my rage at this, and even in +that extreme moment managed to seize my nose in the hope that it at +least might not be broken! Presently I was left lying in a crumpled heap +on the ground. My first thought, oddly enough, was for the car, which I +saw standing sulkily and somewhat battered not far off. "There <i>will</i> be +a row," I thought. The stretcher bearer in behind had been killed +instantaneously, but fortunately I did not know of this till some time +later, nor did I even know he had jumped in behind. The car rattled to +such an extent<a name="Page_223" id="Page_223"></a> I had not heard the answer to my query, if anyone was +coming with me to unload the stretchers.</p> + +<p>I tried to move and found it impossible. "What a mess I'm in," was my +next thought, "and how my legs ache!" I tried to move them too, but it +was no good. "They must both be broken," I concluded. I put my hand to +my head and brought it away all sticky. "That's funny," I thought, +"where can it have come from?" and then I caught sight of my hand. It +was all covered with blood. I began to have a panic that my back might +be injured and I would not be able to ride again. That was all that +really worried me. I had always dreaded anything happening to my back, +somehow.</p> + +<p>The French soldiers were down from their Battery in a trice, all great +friends of mine to whom I had often thrown ration cigarettes.</p> + +<p>Gaspard (that was not his name, I never knew it, but always called him +that in my own mind after Raymond's hero) gave a cry and was on the +ground beside me, calling me his "little cabbage," his "poor little +pigeon," and presently he half lifted me in his arms and cradled me as +he might a baby. I remained quite conscious the whole time. "Will I be +able to ride again?" kept hammering through my brain. The pain was +becoming rapidly worse and I began to wonder just where my legs were +broken. As I could move neither I could not discover at all, and +presently I gave a gasp as I felt something tighten and hurt terribly. +It was a boot lace they <a name="Page_224" id="Page_224"></a>were fixing to stop the hæmorrhage (bootlaces +are used for everything in France). The men stood round, and I watched +them furtively wiping the tears away that rolled down their furrowed +cheeks. One even put his arm over his eyes as a child does. I wondered +vaguely why they were crying; it never dawned on me it had anything to +do with <i>me</i>. "Complètement coupée," I heard one say, and quick as a +shot, I asked, "Où est-ce que c'est qu'est coupé?" and those tactful +souls, just rough soldiers, replied without hesitation, "La jaquette, +Mademoiselle."</p> + +<p>"Je m'en fiche de la jaquette," I answered, completely reassured.</p> + +<p>I wished the ambulance would come soon. "I <i>am</i> in a beastly mess," I +thought again. "Fancy broken legs hurting like this. What must the men +go through!"</p> + +<p>It was singular I was so certain they were broken. But a month before I +had received a wire from the War Office stating one of my brothers had +crashed 1,000 feet and had two legs fractured, and without more ado I +took it for granted I was in a similar plight. "I won't sit up and +look," I decided, "or I shall think I'm worse than I am. There's sure to +be some blood about," and the sun beat down fiercely, drying what there +was on my face into hard cakes. My lower lip had also been cut inside +somehow. One man took off his coat and held it high up to form a shade. +I saw everything that happened with a terrible distinctness. They had +<a name="Page_225" id="Page_225"></a>already bound up my head, which was cut and bleeding profusely.</p> + +<p>The pain was becoming almost intolerable and I wondered if in time I +would cry, but luckily one does not cry on those occasions; it becomes +an impossibility somehow. I even began to wish I could. I asked to have +my legs lifted a little and the pain seemed to ease somewhat. I shall +never forget those Frenchmen. They were perfect. How often I had smiled +at them as I passed, and laughed to see them standing in a ring like +naughty schoolboys, peeling potatoes, their Sergeant walking round to +see that it was done properly!</p> + +<p>The little French doctor from the Battery, who had once helped me change +a tyre, came running up and I covered the scratched side of my face lest +he should get too much of a shock. "Je suis joliment dans la soupe," I +said, and saw him go as white as a sheet. "These Frenchmen are very +sympathetic," I thought, for it had dawned on me what they were crying +about by that time.</p> + +<p>Just then an ambulance train came down the line and the two English +doctors were fetched. A tourniquet which seemed like a knife, and hurt +terribly, was applied as well as the bootlace. I was also given some +morphia. "This will hurt a little," he said as he pushed in the needle, +which I thought distinctly humorous. As if a prick from a hypodermic +could be anything in comparison with what was going on "down there" +where I hadn't courage to look! His remark had one good <a name="Page_226" id="Page_226"></a>effect though, +because I thought: "If he thinks <i>that</i> will hurt there can't be much to +fuss over down there."</p> + +<p>Would the ambulance never arrive? I wondered if we were always so +long—which F.A.N.Y. would come? "She's cranked up by now and on the +way, probably as far as the bridge," I thought. I drove all the way down +in my own mind and yet she did not arrive, but they had 'phoned to the +French hospital in the town and not the Convoy. I did not know this till +I saw the French car arrive.</p> + +<p>It seemed an age. Gaspard never moved once from his cramped position and +kept saying soothingly from time to time: "Allons, p'tit chou, mon +pauvre petit pigeon, ça viendra tout à l'heure, hé la petite."</p> + +<p>At last the ambulance came. I dreaded being lifted, but those soldiers +raised me so tenderly the wrench was not half as bad as I had +anticipated. I had been there just over forty minutes. Then began the +journey in the ambulance. The men gave me a fine salute as I was taken +off and I waved good-bye. One of the Sisters from the train came in the +car with me and also the little French doctor whose hand I hung on to +most of the way, and which incidentally must have been like pulp when we +arrived.</p> + +<p>As luck would have it the driver was a new man, and neither the doctor +nor the sister knew the way, so I had to give the directions. The doctor +was all for taking me to the French <a name="Page_227" id="Page_227"></a>military hospital, but I asked to +be taken to the Casino.</p> + +<p>"So this is what the men go through every day," I thought, as we were +into a hole and out again with a bump and the pain became almost too +much to bear. The doctor swore at the driver, and I took another grip of +his hand. "Bien difficile de ne pas faire ça," I murmured, for I knew he +had really man[oe]uvred it well. The constant give of the springs +jiggling endlessly up and down, up and down, was as trying as anything. +The trouble was I knew every hole in that road and soon we had to cross +railway lines! The sister, who was a stranger too, began to worry how +she would find her way back to the train, but I assured her once arrived +at the Casino, she only had to walk up to our camp to get a F.A.N.Y. +car. "I hope there won't be many people there when I'm pulled out," I +thought, "I hate being stared at in such a beastly mess," above all I +hated a fuss.</p> + +<p>Now we had come to the railway lines. "What would it have been like +without morphia?" I wondered. Of course the drawbridge was up and that +meant at least ten minutes wait till the ships went through. My luck +seemed dead out. At last I heard the familiar clang as it rattled into +place, and we were over.</p> + +<p>I dared not close my eyes, as I had a sort of feeling I'd never be able +to open them again. "Only up the slope and then I'm there. If I can't +keep them open till then, I'm done." The pain was getting worse <a name="Page_228" id="Page_228"></a>again, +and from what the sister said I gathered something down there had begun +to hæmorrhage once more. Still no thought of the truth ever dawned on +me.</p> + +<p>At last we arrived and slowly backed into place. I could not help seeing +the grim humour of the situation; I had driven so many wounded men there +myself. The Colonel, who must have heard, for he was waiting, looked +very white and worried, and Leather, one of the Duchess' drivers, +started visibly as I was pulled out. I was told after that my +complexion, or what could be seen of it, was ashen grey in colour and if +my eyes had not been open they would have thought the worst. I was +carried into the big hall and there my beloved Wuzzy found me. I heard a +little whine and felt a warm tongue licking my face—luckily he had not +been with me that morning.</p> + +<p>"Take that —— dog away, someone," cried the Colonel, who was peevish +in the extreme. "He's not a —— dog," I protested, and then up came a +Padre who asked gravely, "What are you, my child?" Thinking I was now +fairly unrecognisable by this time with the Frenchman's hanky round my +head, etc., I replied, "A F.A.N.Y., of course!" This completely +scandalized the good Padre. When he had recovered, he said, "No, you +mistake me, what religion I mean?"</p> + +<p>"He wants to know what to bury me under," I thought, "what a thoroughly +cheerful soul!" "C. of E.," I replied as per identity disc. He then took +my home address, which seemed an unnecessary <a name="Page_229" id="Page_229"></a>fuss, and I was left in +peace. Captain C. was there as well and came over to the stretcher.</p> + +<p>"I've broken both legs," I announced, "will I be able to ride again?"</p> + +<p>"Of course you will," he said.</p> + +<p>"Sure?" I asked.</p> + +<p>"Rather," he replied, and I felt comforted.</p> + +<p>I was then carried straight through ward I. into the operating theatre. +The men in bed looked rather startled, and Barratt, a man I had driven +and been visiting since, was near the door. What he said is hardly +repeatable. When the British Tommy is much moved he usually becomes +thoroughly profane! I waved to him as I disappeared through the door +into the theatre.</p> + +<p>I was speedily undressed. Dicky appeared mysteriously from somewhere and +was a brick. The room seemed to be full of nurses and orderlies and then +I went slipping off into oblivion as the chloroform took effect (my +first dose and at that time very welcome) and at last I was in a land +where pain becomes obliterated in one vast empty space.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>I woke that afternoon and of course wondered where I was. Everything +seemed to be aching and throbbing at once. I tried to move, but I felt +as if I was clamped to the bed. "This is terrible," I thought, "I must +be having a nightmare." Then I saw the cradle covering my legs. "What +could it be?" I wondered, and then in a flash the scenes of that morning +(or was it a week ago?) came back to me.<a name="Page_230" id="Page_230"></a> I wondered if my back was all +right and felt carefully down the side. No, there was no bandage, and I +sighed with relief, though it ached like fury. I could feel the top of +the wooden splints on the one leg but nothing but bandages on the other.</p> + +<p>My head had been sewn up, also my lip, and a nice tight bandage replaced +the hanky.</p> + +<p>It was thumping wildly and presently an unseen figure gave me something +very cool to sip out of a feeding mug. Things straightened out a bit +after that, and I saw there were quantities of flowers in the room, +jugfuls in fact, which had been sent to cheer me along. Then something +in my leg, the one that was hurting most, gave a fearful tug and a jump +and I drew in my breath with a sobbing gasp. What could it be? It felt +just as if someone had tugged it on purpose, and it took ages to settle +down again. I looked mutely at my nurse for an explanation, and she put +a cool hand on mine.</p> + +<p>It was the severed nerve, and I learnt to dread those involuntary jumps +that came so suddenly from nowhere and seized one like a deadly cramp.</p> + +<p>Everything, including my back, was one vast ache punctuated by those +appalling nerve jumps that set every other one in my body tingling.</p> + +<p>How I longed to turn on my side, but that was a luxury denied me for +weeks.</p> + +<p>My friend Eva had heard the cheerful news when she returned from +Boulogne, where she had been all day, and she and Lowson were allowed to +come and see me for a few minutes.<a name="Page_231" id="Page_231"></a></p> + +<p>"I've broken both legs," I stated. "Isn't it the limit? They don't half +hurt." They nodded sympathetically, not daring to give me a hint of the +real state of affairs.</p> + +<p>"Captain C. says I'll be able to ride again though," I added, and once +more they nodded.</p> + +<p>"I told you what would happen when I lost that charm," I said to Eva.</p> + +<p>I asked after "Little Willie," and heard his remains had been towed to +camp, though being a Hun he would of course manage to escape somehow!</p> + +<p>I had an adorable V.A.D. to look after me. The best I ever want to have. +She seemed to know exactly what I wanted without being told. I felt +almost too tired to speak, and in any case it's not easy with stitches +in your mouth.</p> + +<p>The Padre, not my friend of the entrance hall I was glad to note, came +to see me and I had a Communion Service all to myself, as they thought I +might possibly die in the night.</p> + +<p>I dreaded the nights as I'd dreaded nothing before in my life; with +darkness everything seemed to become intensified. Whenever I did manage +to snatch a few moments' sleep the dreadful demon that seemed to lurk +somewhere just out of sight would pop up and jerk my leg again. I would +think to myself "Now I will really catch him next time," and I would lie +waiting in readiness, but just as I thought I was safe, jerk! and my leg +would jump worse than ever. I clenched my fists in rage, and the V.A.D. +came from behind the screen to smooth <a name="Page_232" id="Page_232"></a>the pillows for me. I used to lie +and think of all the thousands of men in hospital and perhaps even lying +untended in No-man's-land going through twice as much as I, and wondered +if the world would really be any the better for all this suffering or if +it would be forgotten as soon as the war was over. It seemed to be +rather a waste if it was to be so.</p> + +<p>When morning came there were the dressings to be done. At 10 o'clock I +used to try and imagine it was really 11, and all over, but the rattle +of the trolley and terribly cheerful voice of Sister left room for no +illusions on that score. My hands were useful on these occasions, and at +the end of the half hour were excellent examples of the shape of my +teeth! They were practically the only parts completely uninjured, and I +knew that whatever happened I could still play the violin again.</p> + +<p>I could not understand why one leg had jumping nerves and the other +apparently had none and argued that the one must be half-broken to +account for it. The B.E.F. specialist also paid frequent visits.</p> + +<p>Then one evening, the third or fourth I think, Captain C. came in and +sat down in the shadow, looking very grave.</p> + +<p>I think it must have been one of the worst half-hours he ever spent. It +is not a job any man would relish to tell someone who is particularly +fond of life that they have lost one leg and the other has only just +been saved! I was speechless for some <a name="Page_233" id="Page_233"></a>minutes; in fact I refused to +believe it. It took a long time for the full horror of the situation to +dawn on me. It will seem odd that I did not feel I had lost my leg, but +one never has that sensation even when on crutches; the nerves are +unfortunately too much alive.</p> + +<p>Captain C. stayed a long time and the evening drew on but still he sat +there and talked to me quietly in the darkness. I wondered why I +couldn't cry, but somehow it seemed to have nothing to do with me at +all. I was not the girl who had lost a leg. It was merely someone else I +was hearing about. "Jolly bad luck on them," I thought, "rotten not to +be able to run about any more."</p> + +<p>Then my leg jumped and it began to dawn on me that I was the girl to +whom those things had happened. Still, I could not cry. Useless to urge +how lucky it was my knee had just been saved. What use was a knee, I +thought bitterly, if I could never fly round again! When was the very +soonest I could get about with one of these artificial legs, I asked, +and he swore to me that if all went well, in a year's time. A year! I +had fancied the autumn at latest. Little did I know it would be even +longer. That night was the worst I'd had. It is a useless occupation to +kick against the pricks anyway, and the hours dragged slowly on till +morning came at last. When it was light enough I looked round, as well +as I could at least, lying flat on my back, for something to distract my +thoughts. Seeing a <i>Pearson's Magazine</i> with George Robey on the <a name="Page_234" id="Page_234"></a>cover, +I drew it towards me and saw there was an article by him inside. Quite +sure that "George" would cheer me up if anyone could I turned the pages +and found it. It not only cheered me but gave me the first real ray of +hope. There in print was all Captain C. had told me the night before, +and somehow, to see a thing in print is doubly convincing. It was on +disabled soldiers and the pluck with which they bore their misfortunes.</p> + +<p>There was one story of two of his friends who walked into his +dressing-room one day. After dancing about the place they told him they +were out of the army.</p> + +<p>"I don't see much wrong with you," said G., eyeing them up and down. +They then whacked their legs soundly and never flinched once, for they +each had an artificial one! I blessed George from the bottom of my +heart. Someone told him this, and he promptly sat down and wrote to me, +enclosing several signed postcards and a drawing of himself at the end +of the letter—his own impression of what he looked like in the +pre-historic scene in <i>Zigzag</i>—and a promise of a box for the show as +soon as I got to Blighty. Some jolly good fellow!</p> + +<p>The countless flowers I received were one of the chief joys. I simply +adored lying and looking at them.</p> + +<p>Every single person I knew seemed to have remembered me, and boxes of +chocolates filled my shelf as well.</p> + +<p>The Parc d'Automobiles Belges sent such a <a name="Page_235" id="Page_235"></a>huge <i>gerbe</i> that two men had +to carry it, and, emblazoned on a broad ribbon of the Belgian colours, +spanning the whole thing, was my name and an inscription in letters of +gold! Captain Saxon Davies, from the "Christol" in Boulogne, had fruit +sent over in the boat from Covent Garden delivered at the hospital every +morning by motor cycle. I felt quite overwhelmed; everyone seemed +determined to spoil me.</p> + +<p>One day the Padre had come in to see me and was just concluding a prayer +when there was a tap, and the door opened on the instant. A large +bottle, the size of a magnum, was pushed in by an orderly, who, seeing +the Padre, departed in haste. (I was squinting up through my eyelashes +and saw it all and just pulled myself together in time to say "Amen.")</p> + +<p>I knew who had sent it and hastened to explain: "It's not champagne, +Padre, it's Eau de Cologne!" That surprising sportsman replied: "Isn't +it? Bad luck. Have you a scent spray? No? Well, I'll get you one!" (Some +Padre!)</p> + +<p>On the Sunday one of my people came over, thanks to the cheery telegrams +the War Office had been dispatching. It seemed an unnecessary fuss—the +Colonel, too, showed distinct signs of "needle"—but it was a dear +little Aunt who is never flustered by anything and who greeted me as if +we had parted only yesterday. The word "leg" was not included in her +dictionary at all. One is apt to be a bit touchy at first about these +little things, and <a name="Page_236" id="Page_236"></a>though I had seen the most terrible wounds in our +hospital, amputations had always rattled me thoroughly.</p> + +<p>The little Aunt subsequently entertained the austere A.P.M., while her +papers were being put in order, with most interesting details of my +childhood and how she had brought me up from a baby! The whole interview +was described to me as "utterly priceless," by the F.A.N.Y. who had +taken her there.</p> + +<p>The French Battery sent daily to enquire and presently I was allowed +visitors. I began to realize after a while that in losing a leg you find +out exactly who your real friends are. There are those whom I shall +never forget who came day after day to read or talk to me—friends who +paid no attention when the leg gave one of its violent jerks, but went +on talking as if nothing had happened, a fact that helped me to bear it +more than all the expressed sympathy in the world. The type who says +"Whatever was that? How dreadful!" fortunately never came. It was only +due to those real friends that I was saved from slipping into a slough +of despond from which I might never have hoped to rise. Eva gave up +rides and tennis in order to come down every day, and considering the +little time there was to devote to these pastimes I appreciated it all +the more.</p> + +<p>To say I was the best posted person in the place is no exaggeration. I +positively heard both sides of every question (top and bottom as well +sometimes)<a name="Page_237" id="Page_237"></a> and did my best to make as little scandal as possible!</p> + +<p>I was in a room off the "Grand Circle" of the one-time Casino, an +officers' ward. One night the Sister had left me for a moment and I +could have sworn I saw three Germans enter. I thought they said to me +that they had come to hide and if I gave them away they would hit my +leg. The mere suggestion left me dumb and I distinctly seemed to see +them getting under the two other empty beds in the room.</p> + +<p>After a few minutes it dawned on me what a traitor I was, and bit by bit +I eased myself up on my elbows. "I must go and tell someone these +Germans are here," I thought, and turned back the clothes. After +throwing the small sand bags on the floor that kept my bad leg in +position, I next seized the cradle and pitched that overboard. I then +carefully lifted first one leg round and then the other and sat swaying +on the side of the bed. The splints naturally jutted out some distance +from the end of my one leg and this struck me as being very funny. I +wondered just how I could walk on them. Then I looked down at the other +and the proposition seemed funnier still; though I could feel as if the +leg was there, when I looked there was nothing. It was really extremely +odd! I sat there for some time cogitating these matters and was just +about to try how I could walk when very luckily in came an orderly.</p> + +<p>"Germans!" I gasped, pointing to the two beds.<a name="Page_238" id="Page_238"></a> I must have looked a +little odd sitting swaying there in a very inadequate "helpless" shirt +belonging to the hospital! With a muttered exclamation he rushed forward +just catching me in his arms, and I was back in bed in a twinkling. The +whole thing was so clear to me; even now I can fancy I really saw those +Germans, and the adorable V.A.D., after searching under the beds at my +request, sat with me for the rest of the night. My "good" leg was tied +securely down after that episode.</p> + +<p>I was dead and buried (by report) several times that first week in +hospital and Sergeant Richardson from the Detail Issue Stores, who saw +we always had the best rations, came up to see me one afternoon. He was +so spick and span I hardly recognized him, and in his hand was a large +basket of strawberries. The very first basket that had appeared in the +fruiterers' that year. He sat down and told me how anxious "the boys" +were to hear how I really was. All sorts of exaggerated rumours had been +flying about.</p> + +<p>He related how he had first heard the news on that fatal Wednesday and +how "a bloke" told him I had been killed outright. "I knocked 'im down," +said the Sergeant with pride, "and when he comes to me the next morning +to tell to me you wos still alive, why, I was so pleased I knocked 'im +down again!"</p> + +<p>Bad luck on the "bloke," what? I was convulsed, only the trouble was it +hurt me even to laugh, which was trying.<a name="Page_239" id="Page_239"></a></p> + +<p>He had been out in Canada before the war as a cowboy and had always +promised to show me some day how to pick things off the ground when +galloping, a pastime we agreed I should now have to forgo. I assured him +if I couldn't do that, however, I had every intention of riding again. +Had I not heard that morning of someone who even hunted! I began to +appreciate the fact that I had my knee.<a name="Page_240" id="Page_240"></a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER XVII</h2> + +<div class='center'><big>HOSPITALS: FRANCE AND ENGLAND</big></div> + + +<p>An old Frenchman came to the hospital every day with the English papers, +and looked in to leave me the <i>Mirror</i>, for which he would never accept +any payment. He had very few teeth and talked in an indistinct sort of +patois and insisted on holding long conversations in consequence! He +told me he would be <i>enchanté</i> to bring me some novels <i>bien choisis par +ma femme</i> (well chosen by my wife) one day, and in due course they +arrived—the 1 franc 25 edition.</p> + +<p>The names in most cases were enough, and the pictures in some a little +more! If they were his wife's idea of suitable books for <i>jeunes filles</i> +I wondered vaguely with what exactly the grown-ups diverted themselves! +I had not the heart to tell him I never read them.</p> + +<p>All the French people were extraordinarily kind and often came in to see +me. They never failed to bring a present of some sort either. +Mademoiselle Marguerite, the dear fat old lady who kept the flower shop +in the Rue, always brought some of her flowers, and looking round would +declare that<a name="Page_241" id="Page_241"></a> I was trying to run an opposition to her! Madame from the +<i>Pharmacie</i> came with a large bottle of scent, the little dressmaker +brought some lace. Monsieur and Madame from the "Omelette Shop" (a +popular resort of the F.A.N.Y.s) arrived very hot and smart one Sunday +afternoon. Monsieur, who was fat, with large rolls at the back of his +neck, was rather ill at ease and a little panting from the walk +upstairs. He had the air of a man trying to appear as if he were +somewhere else. He tiptoed carefully to the window and had a look at the +<i>plage</i>. "The bonhomme wished to come and assure himself which of the +<i>demoiselles anglaises</i> it was, to whom had arrived so terrible a +thing," said Madame, "but me, I knew. Is it not so, Henri?" she cried to +her husband. "I said it was this one there," and she pointed +triumphantly to me. As they were going he produced a large bottle of +Burgundy from a voluminous pocket in his coat tails. "Ha! <i>le +bonhomme!</i>" cried the incorrigible wife, "he would first see which +demoiselle it was before he presented the bottle!" Hubby appeared to be +slightly discomfited at this and beat a hasty retreat.</p> + +<p>And one day "Alice," whose baby I had doctored, arrived, and even she, +difficult as she found it to make both ends meet, had not come without +something. As she left she produced a little packet of lace wrapped in +newspaper, which she deposited on my bed with tears in her eyes.</p> + +<p>I used to lie awake at nights and wonder about those artificial legs, +just what they were like, and <a name="Page_242" id="Page_242"></a>how much one would be able to cope with +them. It was a great pastime! Now that I really know what they <i>are</i> +like it seems particularly humorous that I thought one would even sleep +in them. My great idea was to have the whole thing clamped on and keep +it there, and not tell anyone about it! Little did I know then what a +relief it is to get them off. One can only comfort oneself on these +occasions with the ancient jest that it is "the first seven years that +are the worst!"</p> + +<p>It is surprising how the illusions about artificial legs get knocked on +the head one by one. I discussed it with someone at Roehampton later. I +thought at least I should have jointed toes! An enterprising French firm +sent me a booklet about them one day. That really did bring things home +to me and I cried for the first time.</p> + +<p>My visitors varied in the social scale from French guttersnipes +(Jean-Marie, who had been wont to have my old boots, etc.), to +brigadier-generals. One afternoon Corporal Coy dropped in to enquire how +I was. As he remarked cheerfully, "It would have fair turned me up if +<i>you'd</i> come round to the mortuary, miss!"</p> + +<p>He then settled himself comfortably in the armchair and proceeded to +entertain me. I only wished it didn't hurt so much to laugh. I asked him +if he had any new songs, and he accordingly gave me a selection <i>sotto +voce</i>. He would stop occasionally and say, "Noa, I can't sing you that +verse, it's too bad, aye, but it's a pity!" and shaking <a name="Page_243" id="Page_243"></a>his head +mournfully he would proceed with the next!</p> + +<p>He was just in the middle of another when the door opened suddenly and +Sir A—— S—— (Inspector-General of Medical Services) was ushered in +by the Colonel. (The little corporal positively faded out of existence!) +I might add he was nearly if not quite as entertaining.</p> + +<p>"Nobby" Clark, a scion of the Labour Battalion, was another visitor who +called one afternoon, and I got permission for him to come up. He was +one of the local comedians and quite as good as any professional. I +would have gone miles to hear him. His famous monologue with his +imaginary friend "Linchpin" invariably brought the house down. He was +broad Lancashire and I had had a great idea of taking him off at one of +the FANTASTIK Concerts some time, but unfortunately, it was not to be. +He came tiptoeing in. "I thought I might take the liberty of coming to +enquire after you," he said, twisting his cap at the bottom of my bed (I +had learnt by this time to keep both hands hidden from sight as a hearty +shake is a jarring event). I asked him to sit down. "Bein' as you might +say fellow artistes; 'aving appeared so often on the same platform, I +had to come," he said affably! "I promised 'the boys' (old labour men of +about fifty and sixty years) I'd try and get a glimpse of you," he +continued, and he sat there and told me all the funny things he could +think of, or rather, they merely bubbled forth naturally.<a name="Page_244" id="Page_244"></a></p> + +<p>The weather—it was June then—got fearfully hot, and I found life +irksome to a degree, lying flat on my back unable to move, gazing at the +wonderful glass candelabra hanging from the middle of the ceiling. How I +wished each little crystal could tell me a story of what had happened in +this room where fortunes had been lost and won! It would have passed the +time at least.</p> + +<p>A friend had a periscope made for me, a most ingenious affair, through +which I was able to see people walking on the sands, and above all +horses being taken out for exercise in the mornings.</p> + +<p>The first W.A.A.C.s came out to France about this time, and I watched +them with interest through my periscope. I heard that a sand-bagged +dug-out had also been made for us in camp, and tin hats handed out; a +wise precaution in view of the bricks and shrapnel that rattled about +when we went out during air raids. I never saw the dug-out of course. We +had a mild air-raid one night, but no damage was done.</p> + +<p>My faithful friends kept me well posted with all the news, and I often +wonder on looking back if it had not been for them how ever I could have +borne life. The leg still jumped when I least expected it, and of course +I was never out of actual pain for a minute.</p> + +<p>One day, it was June then, the dressings were done at least an hour +earlier than usual, and the Colonel came in full of importance and +ordered the other two beds to be taken out of the ward. The<a name="Page_245" id="Page_245"></a> Sister +could get nothing out of him for a long time. All he would say was that +the French Governor-General was going to give me the freedom of the +city! She knew he was only ragging and got slightly exasperated. At +last, as a great secret, he whispered to me that I was going to be +decorated with the French <i>Croix de Guerre</i> and silver star. I was +dumbfounded for some minutes, and then concluded it was another joke and +paid no more attention. But the room was being rapidly cleared and I was +more and more puzzled. He arranged the vases of flowers where he thought +they showed to the best advantage, and seemed altogether in extremely +good form.</p> + +<p>At last he became serious and assured us that what he had said was +perfectly true. The mere thought of such an event happening made me feel +quite sick and faint, it was so overwhelming.</p> + +<p>The Colonel offered to bet me a box of chocolates the General would +embrace me, as is the custom in France on these occasions, and the +suggestion only added to my fright!</p> + +<p>About 11 o'clock as he had said, General Ditte, the governor of the +town, was announced, and in he marched, followed by his two +aides-de-camp in full regalia, the English Base Commandant and Staff +Captain, the Colonel of the hospital, the Belgian General and his two +aides-de-camp, as well as some French naval officers and attachés. Boss, +Eva, and the Sister were the only women present. The little room seemed +full to overflowing, and I won<a name="Page_246" id="Page_246"></a>dered if at the supreme moment I would +faint or weep or be sick, or do something similarly foolish. The General +himself was so moved, however, while he read the "citation," and so were +all the rest, that that fact alone seemed to lend me courage. He turned +half way through to one of the aides-de-camp, who fumbled about (like +the best man at a wedding for the ring!) and finally, from his last +pocket, produced the little green case containing the <i>Croix de Guerre</i>.</p> + +<p>The supreme moment had arrived. The General's fingers trembled as he +lifted the medal from its case and walked forward to pin it on me. +Instead of wearing the usual "helpless" shirt, I had been put into some +of the afore-mentioned Paris frillies for the great occasion, and +suddenly I saw two long skewer-like prongs, like foreign medals always +have, bearing slowly down upon me! "Heavens," I thought, "I shall be +harpooned for a certainty!" Obviously the rest of the room thought so +too, and they all waited expectantly. It was a tense moment—something +had to be done and done quickly. An inspiration came to me. Just in the +nick of time I seized an unembroidered bit firmly between the finger and +thumb of both hands and held it a safe distance from me for the medal to +be fixed; the situation was saved. A sigh of relief (or was it +disappointment?) went up as the General returned to finish the citation, +and contrary to expectation he had not kissed me! He confided to someone +later I looked so white he was afraid I <a name="Page_247" id="Page_247"></a>might faint. (It was a pity +about that box of chocolates, I felt!)</p> + +<p>Two large tears rolled down his cheeks as he finished, and then came +forward to shake hands; after that they all followed suit and I held on +to the bed with the other, for in the fullness of their hearts they gave +a jolly good shake!</p> + +<p>I was tremendously proud of my medal—a plain cross of bronze, with +crossed swords behind, made from captured enemy guns, with the silver +star glittering on the green and red ribbon above. It all seemed like a +dream, I could not imagine it really belonged to me.</p> + +<p>I was at the Casino nearly two months before I was sent to England in a +hospital ship. It was a very sad day for me when I had to say goodbye to +my many friends. Johnson and Marshall, the two mechanics, came up the +day before to bid goodbye, the former bringing a wonderful paper knife +that he had been engaged in making for weeks past. A F.A.N.Y button was +at the end of the handle, and the blade and rivets were composed of +English, French, and Boche shells, and last, but by no means least, he +had "sweated" on a ring from one of Susan's plugs! That pleased me more +than anything else could have done, and I treasure that paper knife +among my choicest souvenirs. Nearly all the F.A.N.Y.s came down the +night before I left, and I felt I'd have given all I possessed to stay +with them, in spite of the hard work and discomfort, so aptly <a name="Page_248" id="Page_248"></a>described +in a parody of one of Rudyard Kipling's poems:</p> + +<h4>THE F.A.N.Y.</h4> + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="The F.A.N.Y."> +<tr><td align='left'>I wish my mother could see me now with a grease-gun under my car,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Filling my differential, ere I start for the camp afar,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Atop of a sheet of frozen iron, in cold that'd make you cry.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>"Why do we do it?" you ask. "Why? We're the F.A.N.Y."</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">I used to be in Society—once;</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Danced, hunted, and flirted—once;</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Had white hands and complexion—once:</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Now I'm an F.A.N.Y.</span><br /><br /></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>That is what we are known as, that is what you must call,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>If you want "Officers' Luggage," "Sisters," "Patients" an' all,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>"Details for Burial Duty," "Hospital Stores" or "Supply,"</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Ring up the ambulance convoy,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>"Turn out the F.A.N.Y."</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">They used to say we were idling—once;</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Joy-riding round the battle-field—once;</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Wasting petrol and carbide—once:</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Now we're the F.A.N.Y.</span><br /><br /></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>That is what we are known as; we are the children to blame,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>For begging the loan of a spare wheel, and fitting a car to the same;</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>We don't even look at a workshop, but the Sergeant comes up with a sigh:</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>"It's no use denyin' 'em <i>nothin</i>'!</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Give it the F.A.N.Y."</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">We used to fancy an air raid—once;</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Called it a bit of excitement—once;</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Prided ourselves on our tin-hats once:</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Now we're the F.A.N.Y.</span><br /><br /></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>That is what we are known as; we are the girls who have been</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Over three years at the business; felt it, smelt it and seen.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Remarkably quick to the dug-out now, when the Archies rake the sky;</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Till they want to collect the wounded, then it's</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>"Out with the F.A.N.Y."</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">"Crank! crank! you Fannies;</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Stand to your 'buses again;</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Snatch up the stretchers and blankets,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Down to the barge through the rain."</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Up go the 'planes in the dawning;</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">'Phone up the cars to "Stand by."</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">There's many a job with the wounded:</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">"Forward, the F.A.N.Y."</span></td></tr> +</table></div> + + +<p><a name="Page_249" id="Page_249"></a></p> + +<p>I dreaded the journey over, and, though the sea for some time past had +been as smooth as glass, quite a storm got up that evening. All the +orderlies who had waited on me came in early next morning to bid +goodbye, and Captain C. carried me out of my room and downstairs to the +hall. I insisted on wearing my F.A.N.Y. cap and tunic to look as if +nothing was the matter, and once more I was on a stretcher. A bouquet of +red roses arrived from the French doctor just before I was carried out +of the hall, so that I left in style! It was an early start, for I was +to be on board at 7 a.m., before the ship was loaded up from the train. +Eva drove me down in her ambulance and absolutely crawled along, so +anxious was she to avoid all bumps. One of the sisters came with me and +was to cross to Dover as well (since the Boche had not even respected +hospital ships, sisters only went over with special cases).</p> + +<p>It struck me as odd that all the trees were out; they were only in bud +when I last saw them.</p> + +<p>Many of the French people we passed waved adieu, and I saw them +explaining to their friends in pantomime just what had happened. On the +way to the ship I lost my leg at least four times over!</p> + +<p>The French Battery had been told I was leaving, and was out in full +force, and I stopped to say goodbye and thank them for all they had done +and once again wave farewell—so different from the last time! They were +deeply moved, and followed with the doctor to the quay where they stood +in a <a name="Page_250" id="Page_250"></a>row wiping their eyes. I almost felt as if I was at my own +funeral!</p> + +<p>The old stretcher-bearers were so anxious not to bump me that they were +clumsier in their nervousness than I had ever seen them! As I was pulled +out I saw that many of my friends, English, French, and Belgian, had +come down to give me a send off. They stood in absolute silence, and +again I felt as if I was at my own funeral. As I was borne down the +gangway into the ship I could bear it no longer, and pulled off my cap +and waved it in farewell. It seemed to break the spell, and they all +called out "Goodbye, good luck!" as I was borne round the corner out of +sight to the little cabin allotted me.</p> + +<p>Several of them came on board after, which cheered me tremendously. I +was very keen to have Eva with me as far as Dover, but, unfortunately, +official permission had been refused. The captain of the ship, however, +was a tremendous sportsman and said: "Of course, if my ship starts and +you are carried off by mistake, Miss Money, you can't expect me to put +back into port again, and <i>I</i> shan't have seen you," he added with a +twinkle in his eye as he left us. You may be sure Eva was just too late +to land! He came along when we were under way and feigned intense +surprise. As a matter of fact he was tremendously bucked and said since +his ship had been painted grey instead of white and he had been given a +gun he was no longer a "hospital," but a "wounded transport," and +therefore <a name="Page_251" id="Page_251"></a>was within the letter of the law to take a passenger if he +wanted to. The cabin was on deck and had been decorated with flowers in +every available space. The crossing, as luck would have it, was fairly +rough, and one by one the vases were pitched out of their stands on to +the floor. It was a tremendous comfort to me to have old Eva there. Of +course it leaked out as these things will, and there was even the +question of quite a serious row over it, but as the captain and everyone +else responsible had "positively not seen her," there was no one to +swear she had not overstayed her time and been carried off by mistake! +At Dover I had to say goodbye to her, the sister, and the kindly +captain, and very lonely I felt as my stretcher was placed on a trolley +arrangement and I was pushed up to the platform along an asphalt +gangway. The orderlies kept calling me "Sir," which was amusing. "Your +kit is in the front van, sir," and catching sight of my face, "I +mean—er—Miss, Gor'blimee! well, that's the limit!" and words failed +them.</p> + +<p>I was put into a ward on the train all by myself. I didn't care for that +train much, it stopped and started with such jolts, otherwise it was +quite comfy, and all the orderlies came in and out on fictitious errands +to have a look and try and get me anything I wanted. The consequence was +I had no less than three teas, two lots of strawberries, and a pile of +books and periodicals I could never hope to read! I had had lunch on +board when we arrived at one o'clock, before I was taken off. The +<a name="Page_252" id="Page_252"></a>reason the journey took so long was that the loading and unloading of +stretchers from ship to train is a lengthy job and cannot be hustled. We +got to London about five. The E.M.O. was a cheery soul and came and +shook hands with me, and then, joy of joys, got four stretcher-bearers +to take me to an ambulance. With four to carry you there is not the +slightest movement, but with two there is the inevitable up and down +jog; only those who have been through it will know what I mean. I had +got Eva to wire to some friends, also to Thompson, the section leader +who was on leave, and by dint of Sherlock Holmes stunts they had +discovered at what station I was arriving. It was cheering to see some +familiar faces, but the ambulance only stopped for a moment, and there +was no time to say anything.</p> + +<p>As I was driven out of the station—it was Charing Cross—the old flower +women were loud in their exclamations. "Why, it's a dear little girl!" +cried one, and she bombarded Thompson with questions. (I felt the +complete fool!) "Bin drivin' the boys, 'as she? Bless 'er," and they ran +after the car, throwing in whole bunches of roses galore! I could have +hugged them for it, dear fat old things! They did their bit as much as +any of them, and never failed to throw their choicest roses to "the +boys" in the ambulances as they were driven slowly past.</p> + +<p>My troubles, I am sorry to say, began from then onwards. England seemed +quite unprepared for anything so unorthodox, and the general impression +borne in on me was that I was a complete nuisance.<a name="Page_253" id="Page_253"></a> There was no +recognized hospital for "the likes of us" to go to, and I was taken to a +civilian one where war-work seemed entirely at a discount. I was carried +to a lift and jerked up to the top floor by a housemaid, when I was put +on a trolley and taken into a ward full of people. A sister came +forward, but there was no smile on her face and not one word of welcome, +and I began to feel rather chilled. "Put the case there," she said, +indicating an empty bed, and the "case," feeling utterly miserable and +dejected, was deposited! The rattle and noise of that ward was such a +contrast to my quiet little room in France (rather humorous this) that I +woke with a jump whenever I closed my eyes.</p> + +<p>Presently the matron made her rounds, and very luckily found there was a +vacant room, and I was taken into it forthwith. There was a notice +painted on the wall opposite to the effect that the bed was "given in +remembrance" of the late so-and-so of so-and-so—with date and year of +death, etc. I can see it now. If only it had been on the door outside +for the benefit of the visitors! It had the result of driving "the case" +almost to the verge of insanity. I could say the whole thing backwards +when I'd been in the room half an hour, not to mention the number of +letters and the different words one could make out of it! There was no +other picture in the room, as the walls were of some concrete stuff, so, +try as one would, it was impossible not to look at it. "Did he die in +this <a name="Page_254" id="Page_254"></a>bed?" I asked interestedly of the sister, nodding in the direction +of the "In Memoriam."—"I'm sure I don't know," said she, eyeing me +suspiciously. "We have enough to do without bothering about things like +that," and she left the room. I began to feel terribly lonely; how I +missed all my friends and the cheerful, jolly orderlies in France! The +frowsy housemaid who brought up my meals was anything but inspiring. My +dear little "helpless" shirt was taken away and when I was given a good +stuff nightdress in its place, I felt my last link with France had gone!</p> + +<p>The weather—it was July then—got terribly hot, and I lay and +sweltered. It was some relief to have all bandages removed from my right +leg.</p> + +<p>There were mews somewhere in the vicinity, and I could smell the horses +and even hear them champing in their stalls! I loved that, and would lie +with my eyes shut, drinking it in, imagining I was back in the stables +in far away Cumberland, sitting on the old corn bin listening to Jimmy +Jardine's wonderful tales of how the horses "came back" to him in the +long ago days of his youth. When they cleaned out the stables I had my +window pulled right up! "Fair sick it makes me," called my neighbour +from the next room, but I was quite happy. Obviously everyone can't be +satisfied in this world!</p> + +<p>The doctor was of the "bluff and hearty" species and, on entering the +first morning, had exclaimed, in a hail-fellow-well-met tone, "So you're +<a name="Page_255" id="Page_255"></a>the young lady who's had her leg chopped off, are you? ha, ha!" Hardly +what one might call tactful, what? I withdrew my hand and put it behind +my back. In time though we became fairly good friends, but how I longed +to be back in France again!</p> + +<p>Being a civilian hospital they were short-staffed. "Everyone seems mad +on war work," said one sister to me peevishly, "they seem to forget +there are civilians to nurse," and she flounced out of the room.</p> + +<p>A splendid diversion was caused one day when the Huns came over in full +force (thirty to forty Gothas) in a daylight raid. I was delighted! This +was something I really <i>did</i> understand. It was topping to hear the guns +blazing away once more. Everyone in the place seemed to be ringing their +electric bells, and, afraid I might miss something, I put my finger on +mine and held it there. Presently the matron appeared: "You can't be +taken to the cellar," she said, "it's no good being nervous, you're as +safe here as anywhere!" "It wasn't that," I said, "I wondered if I might +have a wheel chair and go along the corridor to see them." "Rubbish," +said she, "I never heard of such a thing," and she hurried on to quiet +the patient in the next room. But by dint of screwing myself half on to +a chair near the window I did just get a glimpse of the sky and saw +about five of the Huns man[oe]uvring. Good business!</p> + +<p>One of the things I suffered from most, was <a name="Page_256" id="Page_256"></a>visitors whom I had never +seen in my life before. There would be a tap at the door; enter lady, +beautifully dressed and a large smile. The opening sentence was +invariably the same. "You won't know who I am, but I'm Lady L——, Miss +so-and-so's third cousin. She told me all about you, and I thought I +really <i>must</i> come and have a peep." Enters and subsides into chair near +bed smiling sweetly, and in nine cases out of ten jiggles toes against +it, which jars one excessively. "You must have suffered <i>terribly</i>! I +hear your leg was absolutely <i>crushed</i>! And now tell me all about it! +Makes you rather sick to talk of it? Fancy that! Conscious all the time, +dear me! What you must have gone <i>through</i>! (Leg gives one of its +jumps.) Whatever was that? Only keeping your knee from getting stiff, +how funny! <i>Lovely</i> having the <i>Croix de Guerre</i>. Quite makes up for it. +What? Rather have your <i>leg</i>. Dear me, how odd! Wonderful what they do +with those artificial limbs nowadays. Know a man and really you can't +tell <i>which</i> is which. (Naturally not, any fool could make a leg the +shape of the other!) Well, I really <i>must</i> be going. I shall be able to +tell all my friends I've <i>seen</i> you now and been able to cheer you up a +little. <i>Poor</i> girl! <i>So</i> unfortunate! Terribly cheerful, aren't you? +Don't seem to mind a bit. Would you kindly ring for the lift? I find +these stairs <i>so trying</i>. I've enjoyed myself so much. Goodbye." Exit +(goodby-ee). In its way it was amusing at first, but one day I sent for +the small porter, Tommy, <a name="Page_257" id="Page_257"></a>aged twelve (I had begun to sympathise with +the animals in the Zoo). "Tommy," I said, "if you <i>dare</i> to let anyone +come up and see me unless they're <i>personal</i> friends, you won't get that +shell head I promised you. Don't be put off, make them describe me. +You'll be sorry if you don't."</p> + +<p>Tremendous excitement one day when I went out for my first drive in a +car sent from the Transport Department of the Red Cross. Two of the +nurses came with me, and I was lifted in by the stalwart driver. "A +quiet drive round the park, I suppose, Miss?" he asked. "No," I said +firmly, "down Bond Street and then round and round Piccadilly Circus +first, and then the Row to watch the people riding" (an extremely +entertaining pastime). He had been in the Argentine and "knew a horse if +he saw one," and no mistake.</p> + +<p>The next day a huge gilded basket of blue hydrangeas arrived from the +"bird" flower shop in Bond Street, standing at least three feet high, +the sole inscription on the card being, "From the Red Cross driver." It +was lovely and I was extremely touched; my room for the time being was +transformed.</p> + +<p>I was promised a drive once a week, but they were unfortunately +suspended as I had an operation on July 31st for the jumping sciatic +nerve and once more was reduced to lying flat on my back. There was a +man over the mews who beat his wife regularly twice per week, or else +<i>she</i> beat him. I could never discover which, and used to lie staring +<a name="Page_258" id="Page_258"></a>into the darkness listening to the "sounds of revelry by night," not to +mention the choicest flow of language floating up into the air. I was +measured for a pair of crutches some time later by a lugubrious +individual in a long black frock coat looking like an undertaker. I +objected to the way he treated me, as if I were already a "stiff," +ignoring me completely, saying to the nurse: "Kindly put the case +absolutely flat and full length," whereupon he solemnly produced a tape +measure!</p> + +<p>I was moved to a nursing home for the month of August, as the hospital +closed for cleaning, and there, quite forgetting to instruct the people +about strangers, I was beset by another one afternoon. A cousin who has +been gassed and shell-shocked had come in to read to me. There was a tap +on the door. "Mrs. Fierce," announced the porter, and in sailed a lady +whom I had never seen in my life before. (I want the readers of these +"glimpses" to know that the following conversation is absolutely as it +took place and has not been exaggerated or added to in the very least.)</p> + +<p>She began with the old formula. "You won't know me, etc., but I'm +so-and-so." She did not pause for breath, but went straight ahead. "It's +the second time I've been to call on you," she said, in an aggrieved +voice. "I came three weeks ago when you were at —— Hospital. You had +<i>just</i> had an operation and were coming round, and would you believe it, +though I had come <i>all</i> the way from<a name="Page_259" id="Page_259"></a> West Kensington, they wouldn't let +me come up and see you—positively <i>rude</i> the boy was at the door." (I +uttered a wordless prayer for Tommy!)</p> + +<p>"It was very kind of you," I murmured, "but I hardly think you would +have liked to see me just then; I wasn't looking my best. Chloroform has +become one of my <i>bêtes noires</i>." "Oh, I shouldn't have minded," said +the lady; "I thought it was so inconsiderate of them not to let me up. +So sad for you, you lost your <i>foot</i>," she chattered on, eyeing the +cradle with interest. I winked at my cousin, a low habit but excusable +on occasions. We did not enlighten her it was more than the foot. Then I +was put through the usual inquisition, except that it was if possible a +little more realistic than usual. "Did it bleed?" she asked with gusto. +I began to enjoy myself (one gets hardened in time). "Fountains," I +replied, "the ground is still discoloured, and though they have dug it +over several times it's no good—it's like Rizzio's blood at Holyrood, +the stain simply won't go away!" My cousin hastily sneezed. "How very +curious," said the lady, "so interesting to hear all these details +<i>first</i> hand! Young man," and she fixed Eric with her lorgnettes, "have +<i>you</i> been wounded—I see <i>no</i> stripe on your arm?" and she eyed him +severely. Now E. has always had a bit of a stammer, but at times it +becomes markedly worse. We were both enjoying ourselves tremendously: +"N-n-n-no," he replied, "s-s-s-shell s-s-s-shock!"</p> + +<p>"Dear me, however did <i>that</i> happen?" she <a name="Page_260" id="Page_260"></a>asked. "I w-w-was b-b-b-blown +i-i-i-into t-t-t-the air," he replied, smiling sweetly.</p> + +<p>"How high?" asked the lady, determined to get to the bottom of it, and +not at all sure in her own mind he wasn't a conscientious objector +masquerading in uniform. "As all t-t-the other m-m-men were k-k-killed +b-b-b-by t-t-t-the same s-s-shell, t-t-there was n-n-no one t-t-there +t-t-t-to c-c-c-count," he replied modestly. (I knew the whole story of +how he had been left for two whole days in No-man's-land, with Boche +shells dropping round the place where he was lying, and could have +killed her cheerfully if the whole thing had not been so funny.)</p> + +<p>Having gleaned more lurid details with which we all too willingly +supplied her, she finally departed.</p> + +<p>"Fierce by name and fierce by nature," I said, as the door closed. "I +wonder sometimes if those women spend all their time rushing from bed to +bed asking the men to describe all they've been through—I feel like +writing to <i>John Bull</i> about it," I added, "but I don't believe the +average person would believe it. Tact seems to be a word unknown in some +vocabularies." The cream of the whole thing was that, not content with +the information she had gleaned, when she got downstairs, she asked to +see my nurse. The poor thing was having tea at the time, but went +running down in case it was something important.</p> + +<p>"Will you tell me," said Mrs. F. confidentially,<a name="Page_261" id="Page_261"></a> "if that young man is +engaged to Miss B.?" (The "young man," I might add, has a very charming +fiancée of his own), and how we all laughed when she came up with the +news!</p> + +<p>The faithful "Wuzzy" had been confided to the care of a friend at the +Remount Camp, and I was delighted to get some snaps of him taken by a +Frenchman at Neuve-Chapelle—I felt my "idiot son" was certainly seeing +life! "In reply to your question" (said my friend in a letter), "as to +whether I have discovered Wuzzy's particular 'trait' yet, the answer as +far as I can make out appears to be 'chickens'!"</p> + +<p>In time I began to get about on crutches, and the question next arose +where I was to go and convalesce, and the then strange, but now all too +familiar phrase was first heard. "If you were only a man, of course it +would be <i>so</i> easy." As if it was <i>my</i> fault I wasn't? It was no good +protesting I had always wished I had been one; it did not help matters +at all.</p> + +<p>I came to the conclusion there were too many women in England. If I had +only been a Boche girl now I might at least have had several Donnington +Halls put at my disposal! I was finally sent to Brighton, and thanks to +Lady Dudley's kindness, became an out-patient of one of her officers' +hospitals, but even then it was a nuisance being a girl. Another +disadvantage was that all the people treated me as if I was a strange +animal from the Zoo; men on crutches had become unfortunately a <a name="Page_262" id="Page_262"></a>too +familiar sight, but a F.A.N.Y. was something quite new, and therefore an +object to be stared at. Some days I felt quite brazen, but others I went +out for about five minutes and returned, refusing to move for the rest +of the day. It would have been quite different if several F.A.N.Y.s had +been in a similar plight, but alone, one gets tired of being gaped at as +a <i>rara avis</i>.</p> + +<p>The race meetings were welcome events and great sport, to which we all +went with gusto. I fell down one day on the Parade, getting into my bath +chair. It gave me quite a jar, but it must be got over some time as a +lesson, for of course I put out the leg that wasn't there and went smack +on the asphalt! One learns in time to remember these details.</p> + +<p>It was ripping to see friends from France who ran down for the day, and +when the F.A.N.Y.s came over, how eagerly I listened to all the news! +The lines from one of our songs often rang through my brain:</p> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="On the sandy shores"> +<tr><td align='left'>"On the sandy shores of France</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Looking Blighty-wards to sea,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">There's a little camp a-sitting</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">And it's all the world to me—</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">For the cars are gently humming,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">And the 'phone bell's ringing yet,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Come up, you British Convoy,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Come ye up to Fontinettes—</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">On the road to Fontinettes</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Where the trains have to be met;</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Can't you hear the cars a-chunking</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Through the Rue to Fontinettes?</span><br /><br /><a name="Page_263" id="Page_263"></a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>"On the road to Fontinettes</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Where the stretcher-bearers sweat,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">And the cars come up in convoy,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">From the camp to Fontinettes.</span><br /><br /></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>"For 'er uniform is khaki,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">And 'er little car is green,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">And 'er name is only</span><span class="smcap">Fanny</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">(And she's not exactly clean!)</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">And I see'd 'er first a'smoking</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Of a ration cigarette.</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">And a'wasting army petrol</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Cleaning clothes, 'cos she's in debt."</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">On the road to Fontinettes, etc.</span></td></tr> +</table></div> + + +<p>I longed to be back so much sometimes that it amounted almost to an +ache! This, and the fact of being the only one, I feel sure partly +accounted for it that I became ill. According to the doctor I ought to +have been in a proper hospital, and then once again the difficulty arose +of finding one to go to. Boards and committees sat on me figuratively +and almost literally, too, but could come to no conclusion. Though I +could be in a military hospital in France it was somehow not to be +thought of in England. Finally I heard a W.A.A.C.'s ward had been opened +in London at a military hospital run by women doctors for Tommies, and I +promptly sat down and applied for admittance. Yes, I could go there, and +so at the end of November, I found myself once more back in London. I +was in a little room—a W.A.A.C. officers' ward, on the same floor as +the medical ward for W.A.A.C. privates. I met them at the concerts that +were often given in the recreation room, and they were extremely <a name="Page_264" id="Page_264"></a>kind +to me. I was amused to hear them discussing their length of active +service. One who could boast of six months was decidedly the nut of the +party! We had a great many air raids, and were made to go down to the +ground floor, which annoyed me intensely. I hated turning out, apart +from the cold; it seemed to be giving in to the Boche to a certain +extent.</p> + +<p>I loved my charlady. She was the nearest approach to the cheery +orderlies of those far away days in France, I had struck since I came +over. Her smiling face, as she appeared at the door every morning with +broom and coalscuttle, was a tonic in itself. I used to keep her talking +just as long as I could—she was so exceedingly alive.</p> + +<p>"Do I mind the air rides, Miss? Lor' bless you no—nothin' I like better +than to 'ear the guns bangin' awy. If it wasn't for the childer I'd fair +enjoy it—we lives up 'hIslington wy, and the first sounds of firing I +wrep them up, and we all goes to the church cryp and sings 'ims with the +parson's wife a'plying. Grand it is, almost as good as a revival +meeting!"</p> + +<p>(One in the eye for Fritz what?)</p> + +<p>I asked her, as it was getting near Christmas, if she would let me take +her two little girls (eight and twelve respectively) to see a children's +fairy play. She was delighted. They had never been to a theatre at all, +and were waiting for me one afternoon outside the hospital gates, very +clean and smiling, and absolutely dancing with excitement. I was of +<a name="Page_265" id="Page_265"></a>course on crutches, and as it was a greasy, slippery day, looked about +for a taxi. It was hopeless, and without a word the elder child ran off +to get one. The way she nipped in and out of the traffic was positively +terrifying, but she returned triumphant in the short space of five +minutes, and we were soon at the door of the theatre.</p> + +<p>I had to explain that the wicked fairies leaping so realistically from +Pandora's box weren't real at all, but I'm sure I did not convince the +smaller one, who was far too shy and excited to utter a word beyond a +startled whisper: "Yes, Miss," or "No, Miss." There were wails in the +audience when the witch appeared, and several small boys near us doubled +under their seats in terror, like little rabbits going to earth, +refusing to come out again, poor little pets!</p> + +<p>In the interval the two children watched the orchestra with wide-eyed +interest. "I guess that guy wot's wyving 'is arms abaht like that +(indicating the conductor) must be getting pretty tired," said the elder +to me. I felt he would have been gratified to know there was someone who +sympathised!</p> + +<p>Altogether it was a most entertaining afternoon, and when we came out in +the dark and rain the eldest again slipped off to get a taxi, dodging +cabs and horses with the dexterity of an acrobat.</p> + +<p>Christmas came round, and there was tremendous competition between the +different wards, which vied with each other over the most original +decorations.<a name="Page_266" id="Page_266"></a></p> + +<p>At midday I was asked into the W.A.A.C.'s ward, where we had roast beef +and plum pudding. The two women doctors who ran the hospital visited +every ward and drank a toast after lunch. I don't know what they toasted +in the men's wards, but in the W.A.A.C.'s it was roughly, "To the women +of England, and the W.A.A.C.s who would win the war, etc." It seemed too +bad to leave out the men who were in the trenches, so I drank one +privately to them on my own.</p> + +<p>As I sat in my little ward that night I thought of the happy times we +had had last Christmas in the convoy, only a short year before.<a name="Page_267" id="Page_267"></a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER XVIII</h2> + +<div class='center'><big>ROEHAMPTON: "BOB" THE GREY, AND THE ARMISTICE</big></div> + +<p>After Christmas it was thought I was well enough to be fitted with an +artificial limb, and in due course I applied to the limbless hospital at +Roehampton. The reply came back in a few days.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>"<span class="smcap">Dear Sir</span>, (I groaned),</p> + +<p> "You must apply to so-and-so and we will then be able to +give you a bed in a fortnight's time, etc.</p></div> + +<p class='right'> +<i>Signed</i>: "<span class="smcap">Sister D.</span>"<br /> +</p> + +<p>My heart sank. I was up against the old question again, and in +desperation I wrote back:</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>"<span class="smcap">Dear Madam</span>,</p> + +<p> "My trouble is that I am a girl, etc."</p></div> + +<p>and poured forth all my woes on the subject. Sister D., who proved to be +an absolute topper, was considerably amused and wrote back most +sympathetically. She promised to do all she could for me and told the +surgeon the whole story, and it <a name="Page_268" id="Page_268"></a>was arranged for him to see me and +advise what type of leg I had better wear and then decide where I was to +be put up later. He was most kind, but I returned from the interview +considerably depressed for, before I could wear an artificial leg, +another operation had to be performed. It took place at the military +hospital in January and I felt I should have to hurry in order to be +"doing everything as usual" by the time the year was up, as Captain C. +had promised.</p> + +<p>For some reason, when I came round I found myself in the big W.A.A.C.s' +ward, and never returned to my little room again. I did not mind the +change so much except for the noise and the way the whole room vibrated +whenever anyone walked or ran past my bed. They nearly always did the +latter, for they were none of them very ill. The building was an old +workhouse which had been condemned just before the war, and the floor +bent and shook at the least step. I found this particularly trying as +the incision a good six inches long had been made just behind my knee, +and naturally, as it rested on a pillow, I felt each vibration.</p> + +<p>The sheets were hard to the touch and grey in colour even when clean, +and the rows of scarlet blankets were peculiarly blinding. I realised +the meaning of the saying: "A red rag to a bull," and had every sympathy +with the animal! (It was so humorous to look at things from a patient's +point of view.) It had always been our ambition at Lamarck to have red +top blankets on every bed in <a name="Page_269" id="Page_269"></a>our wards. "They make the place look so +bright and cheerful!" I daresay these details would have passed +unnoticed in the ordinary way, but I had already had eight months of +hospitals, during which time I had hardly ever been out of pain, and all +I craved was quiet and rest. Some of the women doctors were terribly +sarcastic.</p> + +<p>We were awakened at 5 a.m. as per hospital routine (how often I had been +loth to waken the patients at Lamarck), and most of the W.A.A.C.s got up +and dressed, the ones who were not well enough remaining in bed. At six +o'clock we had breakfast, and one of them pushed a trolly containing +slices of bread and mugs of tea from bed to bed. It rattled like a +pantechnicon and shook the whole place, and I hated it out of all +proportion. The ward was swept as soon as breakfast was over. How I +dreaded that performance! I lay clenching the sides of the bed in +expectation; for as surely as fate the sweeping W.A.A.C. caught her +brush firmly in one of the legs. "Sorry, miss, did it ketch you?" she +would exclaim, "there, I done it agin; drat this broom!"</p> + +<p>There were two other patients in the room who relished the quiet in the +afternoons when most of the W.A.A.C.s went out on pass. One of them was +a sister from the hospital, and the other a girl suffering from cancer, +both curtained off in distant corners. "Now for a sleep, sister," I +would call, as the last one departed, but as often as not just as we +were dropping off a voice would rouse us, <a name="Page_270" id="Page_270"></a>saying: "Good afternoon, I've +just come in to play the piano to you for a little," and without waiting +for a reply a cheerful lady would sit down forthwith and bang away +virtuously for an hour!</p> + +<p>We had had a good many air raids before Christmas and I hoped Fritz +would reserve his efforts in that direction till I could go about on +crutches again. No such luck, however, for at 10 o'clock one night the +warnings rang out. I trusted, as I had had my operations so recently, I +should be allowed to remain; but some shrapnel had pierced the roof of +the ward in a former raid and everyone had to be taken down willy-nilly. +I hid under the sheets, making myself as flat as possible in the hopes +of escaping. I was discovered of course and lifted into a wheel chair +and taken down in the lift to the Padre's room, where all the W.A.A.C.s +were already assembled. Our guns were blazing away quite heartily, the +"London front" having recently been strengthened. Just as I got down, +the back wheel of my chair collapsed, which was cheering!</p> + +<p>We sat there for some time listening to the din. Everyone was feeling +distinctly peevish, and not a few slightly "breezy," as it was quite a +bad raid. I wondered what could be done to liven up the proceedings, and +presently espied a pile of hymn-books which I solemnly handed out, +choosing "Onward Christian Soldiers" as the liveliest selection! I could +not help wondering what the distant F.A.N.Y.s would have thought of the +effort. In the middle of "Greenland's spicy mountains," one<a name="Page_271" id="Page_271"></a> W.A.A.C. +varied the proceedings by throwing a fit, and later on another fainted; +beyond that nothing of any moment happened till the firing, punctuated +by the dropping bombs, became so loud that every other sound was +drowned. Some of the W.A.A.C.s were convinced we were all "for it" and +would be burnt to death, but I assured them as my chair had broken, and +I had no crutches even if I could use them, I should be burnt to a +cinder long before any of them! This seemed to comfort them to a certain +extent. I could tell by the sound of the bombs as they exploded that the +Gothas could not be far away; and then, suddenly, we heard the engines +quite plainly, and there was a terrific rushing sound I knew only too +well. The crash came, but, though the walls rocked and the windows +rattled in their sockets, they did not fall.</p> + +<p>Above the din we heard a woman's piercing scream, "Oh God, I'm burning!" +as she ran down the street. Simultaneously the reflection of a red glare +played on the walls opposite. All was confusion outside, and the sound +of rushing feet pierced by screams from injured women and children +filled the air. It was terrible to sit there powerless, unable to do +anything to help. The hospital had just been missed by a miracle, but +some printing offices next door were in flames, and underneath was a +large concrete dug-out holding roughly 150 people. What the total +casualties were I never heard. Luckily a ward had just been evacuated +that evening and the wounded and dying were brought <a name="Page_272" id="Page_272"></a>in immediately. It +was horrible to see little children, torn and maimed, being carried past +our door into the ward. The hum of the Gotha's engines could still be +heard quite distinctly.</p> + +<p>Sparks flew past the windows, but thanks to the firemen who were on the +spot almost immediately, the fire was got under and did not spread to +the hospital.</p> + +<p>It was a terrible night! How I longed to be able to give the Huns a +taste of their own medicine!</p> + +<p>The "All clear" was not sounded till 3 a.m. Many of the injured died +before morning, after all that was humanly possible had been done for +them. I heard some days later that a discharged soldier, who had been in +the dug-out when the bomb fell, was nearly drowned by the floods of +water from the hoses, and was subsequently brought round by artificial +respiration. He was heard to exclaim: "Humph, first they wounds me aht +in France, then they tries to drown me in a bloomin' air raid!"</p> + +<p>There was one W.A.A.C.—Smith we will call her—who could easily have +made her fortune on the stage, she was so clever at imitations. She +would "take you off" to your face and make you laugh in spite of +yourself. She was an East-ender and witty in the extreme, warm of heart +but exceedingly quick-tempered. I liked her tremendously, she was so +utterly alive and genuine.</p> + +<p>One night I was awakened from a doze by a tremendous hubbub going on in +the ward. Raising myself on an elbow I saw Smith shaking one of the<a name="Page_273" id="Page_273"></a> +W.A.A.C.s, who was hanging on to a bed for support, as a terrier might a +rat.</p> + +<p>"You would, would you?" I heard her exclaim. "Sy it againe, yer +white-ficed son of a gun yer!" and she shook her till her teeth +chattered. I never found out what the "white-ficed" one had said, but +she showed no signs of repeating the offence. I felt as if I was in the +gallery at Drury Lane and wanted to shout, "Go on, 'it 'er," but just +restrained myself in time!</p> + +<p>A girl orderly was despatched in haste for one of the head doctors, and +I awaited her arrival with interest, wondering just how she would deal +with the situation.</p> + +<p>However, the "Colonel" apparently thought discretion the better part of +valour, and sent the Sergeant-Major—the only man on the staff—to cope +with the delinquent. I was fearfully disappointed. Smith checkmated him +splendidly by retiring into the bath where she sat soaking for two +hours. What was the poor man to do? It was getting late, and for all he +knew she might elect to stay there all night. He knew of no precedent +and ran in and out of the ward, flapping his arms in a helpless manner. +I felt Smith had decidedly won the day. Imagine an ordinary private +behaving thus!</p> + +<p>There were sudden periodical evacuations of the ward, and one day I was +told my bed would be required for a more urgent case—a large convoy was +expected from France and so many beds had <a name="Page_274" id="Page_274"></a>to be vacated. Three weeks +after my operation I left the hospital and arranged to stay with friends +in the country. As it was a long railway journey and I was hardly +accustomed to crutches again, I wanted to stay the night in town. +However, one comes up against some extraordinary types of people. For +example, the hotel where my aunt was staying refused to take me in, even +for one night, on the score that "<i>they</i> didn't want any invalids!" I +could not help wondering a little bitterly where these same people would +have been but for the many who were now permanent invalids and for those +others, as Kipling reminds us, "whose death has set us free." I could +not help noticing that at home one either came up against extreme +sympathy and kindness or else utter callousness—there seemed to be no +half-measures.</p> + +<p>In March I again hoped to go to Roehampton, but my luck was dead out. I +could still bear no pressure on the wretched nerve, and another +operation was performed almost immediately.</p> + +<p>The W.A.A.C.s' ward was all very well as an experience, but the noise +and shaking, not to mention the thought of the broom catching my bed +regularly every morning, was too much to face again. The surgeon who was +operating tried to get me into his hospital for officers where there +were several single rooms vacant at the time.</p> + +<p>Vain hope. Again the familiar phrase rang out, and once more I +apologised for being a female, and was obliged to make arrangements to +return to the <a name="Page_275" id="Page_275"></a>private nursing home where I had been in August. The year +was up, and here I was still having operations. I was disgusted in the +extreme.</p> + +<p>When I was at last fit to go to Roehampton the question of accommodation +again arose. I never felt so sick in all my life I wasn't a +man—committees and matrons sat and pondered the question. Obviously I +was a terrible nuisance and no one wanted to take any responsibility. +The mother superior of the Sacred Heart Convent at Roehampton heard of +it and asked me to stay there. Though I was not of their faith they +welcomed me as no one else had done since my return, and I was +exceedingly happy with them. It was a change to be really wanted +somewhere.</p> + +<p>In time I got fairly hardened to the stares from passers-by, and it was +no uncommon thing for an absolute stranger to come up and ask, "Have you +lost your leg?" The fact seemed fairly obvious, but still some people +like verbal confirmation of everything. One day in Harrod's, just after +the 1918 push, one florid but obviously sympathetic lady exclaimed, +"Dear me, poor girl, did you lose your leg in the recent push?" It was +then the month of June (some good going to be up on crutches in that +time!) Several staff officers were buying things at the same counter and +turned at her question to hear my reply. "No, not in this <i>last</i> push," +I said, "but the one just before," and moved on. They appeared to be +considerably amused.</p> + +<p>How I loathed crutches! One nightmare in <a name="Page_276" id="Page_276"></a>which I often indulged was +that I found, in spite of having lost my leg, I could really walk in +some mysterious way quite well without them. I would set off joyfully, +and then to my horror suddenly discover my plight and fall smack. I woke +to find the nerve had been at its old trick again. Sometimes I was +seized with a panic that when I did get my leg I should not be able to +use it, and worse still, never ride again. That did not bear thinking +of.</p> + +<p>I went to the hospital every day for fittings and at last the day +arrived when I walked along holding on to handrails on each side and +watching my "style" in a glass at the end of the room for the purpose. +My excitement knew no bounds! It was a tedious business at first getting +it to fit absolutely without paining and took some time. I could hear +the men practising walking in the adjoining room to the refrain of the +"Broken Doll," the words being:</p> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="I only lost my leg"> +<tr><td align='left'>"I only lost my leg a year ago.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">I've got a 'Rowley,' now, I'd have you know.</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">I soon learnt what pain was, I thought I knew,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">But now my poor old leg is black, and red, white and blue!</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">The fitter said, 'You're walking very well,'</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">I told him he could take his leg to ——,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">But they tell me that some day I'll walk right away,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">By George! and with my Rowley too!"</span></td></tr> +</table></div> + +<p>It was at least comforting to know that in time one would!</p> + +<p>Half an hour's fitting was enough to make the leg too tender for +anything more that day, and I <a name="Page_277" id="Page_277"></a>discovered to my joy that I was quite +well able to drive a small car with one foot. I was lent a sporting +Morgan tri-car which did more to keep up my spirits than anything else. +The side brake was broken and somehow never got repaired, so the one +foot had quite an exciting time. It was anything but safe, but it did +not matter. One day, driving down the Portsmouth Road with a +fellow-sufferer, a policeman waved his arms frantically in front of us. +"What's happened," I asked my friend, "are we supposed to stop?" "I'm +afraid so," he replied, "I should think we've been caught in a trap." +(One gets into bad habits in France!)</p> + +<p>As we drew up and the policeman saw the crutches, he said: "I'm sorry, +sir, I didn't see your crutches, or I wouldn't have pulled you up." The +friend, who happened to be wearing his leg, said, "Oh, they aren't mine, +they belong to this lady." The good policeman was temporarily +speechless. When at last he got his wind he was full of concern. "You +don't say, sir? Well, I <i>never</i> did. Don't you take on, <i>we</i> won't run +you in, Miss," he added consolingly, turning to me. "I'll fix the +stop-watch man." I was beginning to enjoy myself immensely. He regarded +us for some minutes and made a round of the car. "Well," he said at +last, "<i>I</i> call you a couple o' sports!" We were convulsed!</p> + +<p>At that moment the stop-watch man hurried up, looking very serious, and +I watched the expression on his face change to one of concern as the +policeman told him the tale.<a name="Page_278" id="Page_278"></a></p> + +<p>"We won't run you in, not us," he declared stoutly, in concert with the +policeman.</p> + +<p>"What were we doing?" I asked, as he looked at his stop-watch.</p> + +<p>"Thirty and a fraction over," he replied. "Only thirty!" I exclaimed, in +a disappointed voice, "I thought we were doing <i>at least</i> forty!"</p> + +<p>"First time anyone's ever said that to <i>me</i>, Miss," he said; "it's usual +for them to swear it wasn't a mile above twenty!"</p> + +<p>"A couple o' sports," the policeman murmured again.</p> + +<p>"I think <i>you're</i> the couple of sports," I said laughing.</p> + +<p>"Well," said the stop-watch man, lifting his cap, "we won't keep you any +longer, Miss, a pleasant afternoon to you, and (with a knowing look) +there's <i>nothing</i> on the road from here to Cobham!"</p> + +<p>Of course the Morgan broke all records after that!</p> + +<p>Unfortunately, in July, I was obliged to undergo an operation on my +right foot, where it had been injured. By great good luck it was +arranged to be done in the sister's sick ward at the hospital. It was +not successful though, and at the end of August a second was performed, +bringing the total up to six, by which time I loathed chloroform more +than anything else on earth.</p> + +<p>Before I returned to the convent again, the King and Queen with Princess +Mary came down to inspect the hospital.</p> + +<p>It was an imposing picture. The sisters and <a name="Page_279" id="Page_279"></a>nurses in their white caps +and aprons lined the steps of the old red-brick, Georgian House, while +on the lawn six to seven hundred limbless Tommies were grouped, forming +a wonderful picture in their hospital blue against the green.</p> + +<p>I was placed with the officers under the beautiful cedar trees and had a +splendid view, while on the left the different limb makers had models of +their legs and arms. The King and Queen were immensely interested and +watched several demonstrations, after which they came and shook each one +of us by hand, speaking a few words. I was immensely struck by the +King's voice and its deep resonant qualities. It is wonderful, in view +of the many thousands he interviews, that to each individual he gives +the impression of a real personal interest.</p> + +<p>I soon returned to the convent, and there in the beautiful gardens +diligently practised walking with the help of two sticks. The joy of +being able to get about again was such that I could have wept. The +Tommies at the hospital took a tremendous interest in my progress. +"Which one is it?" they would call as I went there each morning. "Pick +it up, Miss, pick it up!" (one trails it at first). The fitter was a man +of most wonderful patience and absolutely untiring in his efforts to do +any little thing to ease the fitting. I often wonder he did not brain +his more fussy patients with their wooden legs and have done with it!</p> + +<p>"Got your knee, Miss?" the men would call <a name="Page_280" id="Page_280"></a>sometimes. "You're lucky." +When I saw men who had lost an arm and sometimes both legs, from above +the knee too, I realised just how lucky I was. They were all so +splendidly cheerful. I knew too well from my own experience what they +must have gone through; and again I could only pray that something good +would come out of all this untold suffering, and that these men would +not be forgotten by a grateful country when peace reigned once more.</p> + +<p>I often watched them playing bowls on the lawn with a marvellous +dexterity—a one-armed man holding the chair steady for a double +amputation while the latter took his aim.</p> + +<p>I remember seeing a man struggling painfully along with an +above-the-knee leg, obviously his first day out. A group of men watched +his efforts. "Pick it up, Charlie!" they called, "we'll race you to the +cedars!" but Charlie only smiled, not a bit offended, and patiently +continued along the terrace.</p> + +<p>At last I was officially "passed out" by the surgeon, and after eighteen +months was free from hospitals. What a relief! No longer anyone to +reproach me because I wasn't a man! It was my great wish to go out to +the F.A.N.Y.s again when I had got thoroughly accustomed to my leg. I +tried riding a bicycle, and after falling off once or twice "coped" +quite well, but it was not till November that I had the chance to try a +horse. I was down at Broadstairs and soon discovered a job-master and +arranged to go out the next day. I hardly <a name="Page_281" id="Page_281"></a>slept at all that night I was +so excited at the prospect. The horse I had was a grey, rather a +coincidence, and not at all unlike my beloved grey in France. Oh the joy +of being in a saddle again! A lugubrious individual with a bottle nose +(whom I promptly christened "Dundreary" because of his long whiskers) +came out with me. He was by way of being a riding master, but for all +the attention he paid I might have been alone.</p> + +<p>I suggested finding a place for a canter after we had trotted some +distance and things felt all right. I was so excited to find I could +ride again with comparatively little inconvenience I could hardly +restrain myself from whooping aloud. I presently infected "Dundreary," +who, in his melancholy way, became quite jovial. I rode "Bob" every day +after that and felt that after all life was worth living again.</p> + +<p>On November 11th came the news of the armistice. The flags and +rejoicings in the town seemed to jar somehow. I was glad to be out of +London. A drizzle set in about noon and the waves beat against the +cliffs in a steady boom not unlike the guns now silent across the water. +Through the mist I seemed to see the ghosts of all I knew who had been +sacrificed in the prime of their youth to the god of war. I saw the +faces of the men in the typhoid wards and heard again the groans as the +wounded and dying were lifted from the ambulance trains on to the +stretchers. It did not seem a time for loud rejoicings, but rather a +quiet thankfulness <a name="Page_282" id="Page_282"></a>that we had ended on the right side and their lives +had not been lost in vain.</p> + +<p>The words of Robert Nichols' "Fulfilment," from <i>Ardours and Endurances</i> +(Chatto & Windus), rang through my brain. He has kindly given me +permission to reproduce them:</p> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="Was there love once?"> +<tr><td align='left'>Was there love once? I have forgotten her.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Was there grief once? Grief yet is mine.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Other loves I have, men rough, but men who stir</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>More grief, more joy, than love of thee and mine.<br /><br /></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Faces cheerful, full of whimsical mirth,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Lined by the wind, burned by the sun;</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Bodies enraptured by the abounding earth,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>As whose children we are brethren: one.<br /><br /></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>And any moment may descend hot death</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>To shatter limbs! pulp, tear, blast</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Beloved soldiers, who love rough life and breath</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Not less for dying faithful to the last.<br /><br /></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>O the fading eyes, the grimed face turned bony,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Open mouth gushing, fallen head,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Lessening pressure of a hand shrunk, clammed, and stony</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>O sudden spasm, release of the dead!<br /><br /></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Was there love once? I have forgotten her.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Was there grief once? Grief yet is mine.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>O loved, living, dying, heroic soldier</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>All, all, my joy, my grief, my love are thine!</td></tr> +</table></div> + +<p><a name="Page_283" id="Page_283"></a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIX" id="CHAPTER_XIX"></a>CHAPTER XIX</h2> + +<div class='center'><big>AFTER TWO YEARS</big></div> + + +<p>My dream of going out to work again with the F.A.N.Y.s was never +realised. Something always seemed to be going wrong with the leg; but I +was determined to try and pay them a visit before they were demobilised. +On these occasions the word "impossible" must be cut out of one's +vocabulary (<i>vide</i> Napoleon), and off I set one fine morning. Everything +seemed strangely unaltered, the same old train down to Folkestone, the +same porters there, the same old ship and lifebelts; and when I got to +Boulogne nearly all the same old faces on the quay to meet the boat! I +rubbed my eyes. Had I really been away two years or was it only a sort +of lengthy nightmare? I walked down the gangway and there was the same +old rogue of a porter in his blue smocking. Yet the town seemed +strangely quiet without the incessant marching of feet as the troops +came and went. "We never thought to see <i>you</i> out here again, Miss," +said the same man in the transport department at the Hotel Christol!</p> + +<p>I went straight up to the convoy at St. Omer, and had tea in the camp +from which they had been <a name="Page_284" id="Page_284"></a>shelled only a year before. This convoy of +F.A.N.Y.s, to which many of my old friends had been transferred, was +attached to the 2nd army, and had as its divisional sign a red herring. +The explanation being that one day a certain general visited the camp, +and on leaving said: "Oh, by the way, are you people 'army'?"</p> + +<p>"No," replied the F.A.N.Y., "not exactly."</p> + +<p>"Red Cross then?"</p> + +<p>"Well, not exactly. It's like this," she explained: "We work for the Red +Cross and the cars are theirs, but we are attached to the second army; +we draw our rations from the army and we're called F.A.N.Y.S."</p> + +<p>"'Pon my soul," he cried, "you're neither fish, flesh, nor fowl, but +you're thundering good red herrings!"</p> + +<p>It was a foregone conclusion that a red herring should become their sign +after that!</p> + +<p>The next day I was taken over the battlefields through Arcques, where +the famous "Belle" still manipulates the bridge, and along by the Nieppe +Forest. We could still see the trenches and dug-outs used in the fierce +fighting there last year. A cemetery in a little clearing by the side of +the road, the graves surmounted by plain wooden crosses, was the first +of many we were to pass. Vieux Berquin, a once pretty little village, +was reduced to ruins and the road we followed was pitted with shell +holes.</p> + +<p>It was pathetic to see an old man and his wife, <a name="Page_285" id="Page_285"></a>bent almost double with +age and rheumatism, poking about among the ruins of their one-time home, +in the hope of finding something undestroyed. They were living +temporarily in a miserable little shanty roofed in by pieces of +corrugated iron, the remains of former Nissen huts and dug-outs.</p> + +<p>In Neuf Berquin several families were living in new wooden huts the size +of Armstrongs with cheerful red-tiled roofs, that seemed if possible to +intensify the utter desolation of the surroundings.</p> + +<p>Lusty youths, still in the <i>bleu horizon</i> of the French Army, were busy +tilling the ground, which they had cleared of bricks and mortar, to make +vegetable gardens.</p> + +<p>My chief impression was that France, now that the war was over, had made +up her mind to set to and get going again just as fast as she possibly +could. There was not an idle person to be seen, even the children were +collecting bricks and slates.</p> + +<p>I wondered how these families got supplies and, as if in answer to my +unspoken question, a baker's cart full of fresh brown loaves came +bumping and jolting down the uneven village street.</p> + +<p>Silhouetted against the sky behind him was the gaunt wall of the +one-time church tower, its windows looking like the empty sockets of a +skull.</p> + +<p>Estaires was in no better condition, but here the inhabitants had come +back in numbers and were busy at the work of reconstruction. We passed +"Grime Farm" and "Taffy Farm" on the way to Armentières, then through a +little place called Croix <a name="Page_286" id="Page_286"></a>du Bac with notices printed on the walls of +the village in German. It had once been their second line.</p> + +<p>In the distance Armentières gave me the impression of being almost +untouched, but on closer inspection the terrible part was that only the +mere shells of the houses were left standing. Bailleul was like a city +of the dead. I saw no returned inhabitants along its desolate streets. +The Mont des Cats was on our left with the famous monastery at its +summit where Prince Rupprecht of Bavaria had been tended by the monks +when lying wounded. In return for their kindness he gave orders that the +monastery was to be spared, and so it was for some time. But whether he +repented of his generosity or not I can't say. It must certainly have +been badly shelled since, as its walls now testify. On our right was +Kemmel with its pill-boxes making irregular bumps against the sky-line. +One place was pointed out to me as being the site of a once famous +tea-garden where a telescope had been installed, for visitors to view +the surrounding country.</p> + +<p>We passed through St. Jans Capelle, Berthen, Boschepe, and so to the +frontier into Belgium. The first sight that greeted our eyes was Remy +siding, a huge cemetery, one of the largest existing, where rows upon +rows of wooden crosses stretched as far as the eye could see.</p> + +<p>We drove to Ypres via Poperinghe and Vlamertinge and saw the famous +"Goldfish" Château on our left, which escaped being shelled, and was +then gutted by an accidental fire!<a name="Page_287" id="Page_287"></a></p> + +<p>I was surprised to see anything at all of the once beautiful Cloth Hall. +We took some snaps of the remains. A lot of discoloured bones were lying +about among the <i>débris</i> disinterred from the cemetery by the +bombardments.</p> + +<p>Heaps of powdered bricks were all that remained of many of the houses. +The town gasometer had evidently been blown completely into the air, +what was left of it was perched on its head in a drunken fashion.</p> + +<p>Beyond the gate of the town on the Menin Road stood a large unpainted +wooden shanty. I wondered what it could be and thought it was possibly a +Y.M.C.A. hut. Imagine my surprise on closer inspection to see painted +over the door in large black letters "Ypriana Hotel"! It had been put up +by an enterprising <i>Belge</i>. Somehow it seemed a desecration to see this +cheap little building on that sacred spot.</p> + +<p>The Ypres-Menin Road stretched in front of us as far as the eye could +see, disappearing into the horizon. On either hand was No-man's-land. I +had seen wrecked villages on the Belgian front in 1915 and was more or +less accustomed to the sight, but this was different. It was more +terrible than any ruins I had ever seen. For utter desolation I never +want to behold anything worse.</p> + +<p>The ground was pock-marked with shell-holes and craters. Old tanks lay +embedded in the mud, their sides pierced by shot and shell, and worst of +all by far were the trees. Mere skeletons of trees <a name="Page_288" id="Page_288"></a>standing gaunt and +jagged, stripped naked of their bark; mute testimony of the horrors they +had witnessed. Surely of all the lonely places of the earth this was by +far the worst? The ground looked lighter in some places than in others, +where the powdered bricks alone showed where a village had once stood. +There were those whose work it was to search for the scattered graves +and bring them in to one large cemetery. Just beyond "Hell-fire Corner" +a padre was conducting a burial service over some such of these where a +cemetery had been formed. We next passed Birr Cross Roads with +"Sanctuary Wood" on our left. Except that the lifeless trees seemed to +be more numerous, nothing was left to indicate a wood had ever been +there.</p> + +<p>The more I saw the more I marvelled to think how the men could exist in +such a place and not go mad, yet we were seeing it under the most ideal +conditions with the fresh green grass shooting up to cover the ugly +rents and scars.</p> + +<p>Many of the craters half-filled with water already had duckweed growing. +Words are inadequate to express the horror and loneliness of that place +which seemed peopled only by the ghosts of those "Beloved soldiers, who +love rough life and breath, not less for dying faithful to the last."</p> + +<p>We drove on to Hooge and turned near Geluvelt, making our way back +silently along that historic road which had been kept in repair by gangs +of workmen whose job it was to fill in the shell holes as fast as they +were made.<a name="Page_289" id="Page_289"></a></p> + +<p>As we wound our way up the steep hill to Cassel with its narrow streets +and high, Spanish-looking houses, the sun was setting and the country +lay below us in a wonderful panorama. The cherry-trees bordering the +steep hill down the other side stood out like miniature snowstorms +against the blue haze of the evening. We got back to find the Saturday +evening hop in progress (life still seemed to be formed of paradoxes). +It was held in the mess hut, where the bumpy line down the middle of the +floor was appropriately called "Vimy Ridge," and the place where the +shell hole had been further up "Kennedy Crater." The floor was +exceedingly springy just there, but it takes a good deal to "cramp the +style" of a F.A.N.Y., and details of this sort only add to the general +enjoyment.</p> + +<p>The next day I went down to the old convoy and saw my beloved "Susan" +again, apparently not one whit the worse for the valiant war work she +had done. Everything looked exactly the same, and to complete the +picture, as I arrived, I saw two F.A.N.Y.s quietly snaffling some horses +for a ride round the camp while their owners remained blissfully +unconscious in the mess. I felt things were indeed unchanged!</p> + +<p>That evening I hunted out all my French friends. The old flower lady in +the Rue uttered a shriek, dropped her flowers, and embraced me again and +again. Then there was the <i>Pharmacie</i> to visit, the paper man, the +pretty flapper, Monsieur and Madame from the "Omelette" Shop, and a host +of <a name="Page_290" id="Page_290"></a>others. I also saw the French general. For a moment he was +puzzled—obviously he "knew the face but couldn't put a name to it," +then his eye fell on the ribbon. "<i>Mon enfant</i>," was all he said, and +without any warning he opened his arms and I received a smacking kiss on +both cheeks! <i>Quel émotion!</i> Everyone was so delighted, I felt the +burden of the last two years slipping off my shoulders.</p> + +<p>Quite by chance I was put in my old original "cue." I counted the doors +up the passage. Yes, it must be the one, there could be no doubt about +it, and on looking up at the walls I could just discern the shadowy +outlines of the panthers through a new coating of colour-wash.</p> + +<p>The hospital where I had been was shut up and empty, and was shortly +going to become a Casino again. How good it was to be back with the +F.A.N.Y.s! I had just caught them in time, for they were to be +demobilised on the following Sunday and I began to realise, now that I +was with them again, just how terribly I had missed their gay +companionship.</p> + +<p>It was a singular and happy coincidence that on the second anniversary +of the day I lost my leg, I should be cantering over the same fields at +Peuplinghe where "Flanders" had so gallantly pursued "puss" that day so +long ago, or was it really only yesterday?</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">F</span><span class="smcap">rance,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;"><i>May 9th, 1919.</i></span><br /> +</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<div class='center'><i>Printed by Hazell, Watson & Viney, Ld., London and Aylesbury, England.</i><br /><br /></div> + + + + +<div class='tnote'><b>Transcriber's Note:</b> + +<p>Varied hyphenation retained. Obvious spelling and punctuation errors +repaired and noted by the use of a dotted <ins title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'underilne'">underline</ins> + in the text. Scrolling the mouse over such text will display the change that was made.</p> </div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Fanny Goes to War, by Pat Beauchamp + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FANNY GOES TO WAR *** + +***** This file should be named 16521-h.htm or 16521-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/6/5/2/16521/ + +Produced by Internet Archive Canadian Libraries, Irma +Spehar, Emmy and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team +at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Fanny Goes to War + +Author: Pat Beauchamp + +Release Date: August 13, 2005 [EBook #16521] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FANNY GOES TO WAR *** + + + + +Produced by Internet Archive Canadian Libraries, Irma +Spehar, Emmy and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team +at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +FANNY GOES TO WAR + +BY PAT BEAUCHAMP +(FIRST AID NURSING YEOMANRY) + +WITH AN INTRODUCTION BY +MAJOR-GENERAL H.N. THOMPSON, +K.C.M.G, C.B., D.S.O + + +LONDON +JOHN MURRAY, ALBEMARLE STREET, W. +1919 + +ALL RIGHTS RESERVED + +To T.H. + + + + +INTRODUCTION + + +I eagerly avail myself of the Author's invitation to write a foreword to +her book, as it gives me an opportunity of expressing something of the +admiration, of the wonder, of the intense brotherly sympathy and +affection--almost adoration--which has from time to time overwhelmed me +when witnessing the work of our women during the Great War. + +They have been in situations where, five short years ago, no one would +ever have thought of finding them. They have witnessed and taken active +part in scenes nerve-racking and heart-rending beyond the power of +description. Often it has been my duty to watch car-load after car-load +of severely wounded being dumped into the reception marquees of a +Casualty Clearing Station. There they would be placed in long rows +awaiting their turn, and there, amid the groans of the wounded and the +loud gaspings of the gassed, at the mere approach of a sister there +would be a perceptible change and every conscious eye would brighten as +with a ray of fresh hope. In the resuscitation and moribund marquees, +nothing was more pathetic than to see "Sister," with her notebook, +stooping over some dying lad, catching his last messages to his loved +ones. + +Women worked amid such scenes for long hours day after day, amid scenes +as no mere man could long endure, and yet their nerves held out; it may +be because they were inspired by the nature of their work. I have seen +them, too, continue that work under intermittent shelling and bombing, +repeated day after day and night after night, and it was the rarest +thing to find one whose nerves gave way. I have seen others rescue +wounded from falling houses, and drive their cars boldly into streets +with bricks and debris flying. + +I have also, alas! seen them grievously wounded; and on one occasion, +killed, and found their comrades continuing their work in the actual +presence of their dead. + +The free homes of Britain little realise what our war women have been +through, or what an undischarged debt is owing to them. + +How few now realise to what a large extent they were responsible for the +fighting spirit, for the _morale_, for the tenacity which won the war! +The feeling, the knowledge that their women were at hand to succour and +to tend them when they fell raised the fighting spirit of the men and +made them brave and confident. + +The above qualities are well exemplified by the conduct and bearing of +our Authoress herself, who, when grievously injured, never lost her head +or her consciousness, but through half an hour sat quietly on the +road-side beside the wreck of her car and the mangled remains of her +late companion. Rumour has it that she asked for and smoked a +cigarette. + +Such heroism in a young girl strongly appealed to the imagination of our +French and Belgian Allies, and two rows of medals bedeck her khaki +jacket. + +Other natural qualities of our race, which largely helped to win the +war, are brought out very vividly, although unconsciously, in this book, +_e.g._ the spirit of cheerfulness; the power to forget danger and +hardship; the faculty of seeing the humorous side of things; of making +the best of things; the spirit of comradeship which sweetened life. + +These qualities were nowhere more evident than among the F.A.N.Y. Their +_esprit-de-corps_, their gaiety, their discipline, their smartness and +devotion when duty called were infectious, almost an inspiration to +those who witnessed them. + +Throughout the war the "Fannys" were renowned for their resourcefulness. +They were always ready to take on any and every job, from starting up a +frozen car to nursing a bad typhoid case, and they rose to the occasion +every time. + + H.N. THOMPSON, K.C.M.G., C.B., D.S.O., + _Major-General_. + + _Director of Medical Services, British Army of the Rhine._ + + _Assistant Director Medical Services, 2nd Division, 1914; + ditto 48th Division, 1915; Deputy-Director Medical Services, + VI Corps, May 1915 to July 1917; Director Medical Services, + First Army, July 1917 to April 1919._ + +CONTENTS + +CHAPTER PAGE + + I. IN CAMP BEFORE THE WAR 1 + + II. FIRST IMPRESSIONS 11 + + III. THE JOURNEY UP TO THE FRONT 19 + + IV. BEHIND THE TRENCHES 27 + + V. IN THE TRENCHES 35 + + VI. THE TYPHOID WARDS 41 + + VII. THE ZEPPELIN RAID 49 + + VIII. CONCERNING BATHS, "JOLIE-ANNETTE," "MARIE-MARGOT" AND ST. + INGLEVERT 59 + + IX. TYPHOIDS AGAIN, AND PARIS IN 1915. 70 + + X. CONCERNING A CONCERT, CANTEEN WORK, HOUSEKEEPING, THE ENGLISH + CONVOY, AND GOOD-BYE, LAMARCK. 88 + + XI. THE ENGLISH CONVOY 111 + + XII. THE PASSING OF THE LITTLE LORRY, "OLD BILL" AND "'ERB" AT + AUDRICQ 129 + + XIII. CONVOY LIFE 152 + + XIV. CHRISTMAS, 1916 176 + + XV. CONVOY PETS, COMMANDEERING, AND THE "FANTASTIKS" 197 + + XVI. THE LAST RIDE 216 + + XVII. HOSPITALS: FRANCE AND ENGLAND 240 + +XVIII. ROEHAMPTON: "BOB" THE GREY, AND THE ARMISTICE 267 + + XIX. AFTER TWO YEARS 283 + + + + +FANNY GOES TO WAR + + + + +CHAPTER I + +IN CAMP BEFORE THE WAR + + +The First Aid Nursing Yeomanry was founded in 1910 and now numbers +roughly about four hundred voluntary members. + +It was originally intended to supplement the R.A.M.C. in field work, +stretcher bearing, ambulance driving, etc.--its duties being more or +less embodied in the title. + +An essential point was that each member should be able to ride bareback +or otherwise, as much difficulty had been found in transporting nurses +from one place to another on the veldt in the South African War. Men had +often died through lack of attention, as the country was too rough to +permit of anything but a saddle horse to pass. + +The First Aid Nursing Yeomanry was on active service soon after War was +declared and, though it is not universally known, they were the pioneers +of all the women's corps subsequently working in France. + +Before they had been out very long they were affectionately known as +the F.A.N.Y.'s, to all and sundry, and in an incredibly short space of +time had units working with the British, French, and Belgian Armies in +the field. + +It was in the Autumn of 1913 that, picking up the _Mirror_ one day, I +saw a snapshot of a girl astride on horseback leaping a fence in a khaki +uniform and topee. Underneath was merely the line "Women Yeomanry in +Camp," and nothing more. "That," said I, pointing out the photo to a +friend, "is the sort of show I'd like to belong to: I'm sick of ambling +round the Row on a Park hack. It would be a rag to go into camp with a +lot of other girls. I'm going to write to the _Mirror_ for particulars +straight away." + +I did so; but got no satisfaction at all, as the note accompanying the +photo had been mislaid. However, they did inform me there was such a +Corps in existence, but beyond that they could give me no particulars. + +I spent weeks making enquiries on all sides. "Oh, yes, certainly there +was a Girls' Yeomanry Corps." "Where can I join it?" I would ask +breathlessly. "Ah, that I can't say," would be the invariable reply. + +The more obstacles I met with only made me the more determined to +persevere. I went out of my way to ask all sorts of possible and +impossible people on the off-chance that they might know; but it was a +long time before I could run it to earth. "Deeds not words" seemed to be +their motto. + +One night at a small dance my partner told me he had just joined the +Surrey Yeomanry; that brought the subject up once more and I confided +all my troubles to him. Joy of joys! He had actually _seen_ some of the +Corps riding in Hounslow Barracks. It was plain sailing from that +moment, and I hastened to write to the Adjutant of the said Barracks to +obtain full particulars. + +Within a few days I received a reply and a week later met the C.O. of +the F.A.N.Y.'s, for an interview. + +To my delight I heard the Corps was shortly going into camp, and I was +invited to go down for a week-end to see how I liked it before I +officially became a member. When the day arrived my excitement, as I +stepped into the train at Waterloo, knew no bounds. Here I was at last +_en route_ for the elusive Yeomanry Camp! + +Arrived at Brookwood, I chartered an ancient fly and in about twenty +minutes or so espied the camp in a field some distance from the road +along which we were driving. "'Ard up for a job _I_ should say!" said my +cabby, nodding jocosely towards the khaki figures working busily in the +distance. I ignored this sally as I dismissed him and set off across the +fields with my suit case. + +There was a large mess tent, a store tent, some half dozen or more bell +tents, a smoky, but serviceable-looking, field kitchen, and at the end +of the field were tethered the horses! As I drew nearer, I felt horribly +shy and was glad I had selected my very plainest suit and hat, as +several pairs of eyes looked up from polishing bits and bridles to scan +me from top to toe. + +I was shown into the mess tent, where I was told to wait for the C.O., +and in the meantime made friends with "Castor," the Corps' bull-dog and +mascot, who was lying in a clothes-basket with a bandaged paw as the +result of an argument with a regimental pal at Bisley. + +A sudden diversion was caused by a severe thunderstorm which literally +broke right over the camp. I heard the order ring out "To the +horse-lines!" and watched (through a convenient hole in the canvas) +several "troopers" flying helter-skelter down the field. + +To everyone's disappointment, however, those old skins never turned a +hair; there was not even the suggestion of a stampede. I cautiously +pushed my suit-case under the mess table in the hope of keeping it dry, +for the rain was coming down in torrents, and in places poured through +the canvas roof in small rivulets. (Even in peace-time comfort in the +F.A.N.Y. Camp was at a minimum!) + +They all trooped in presently, very wet and jolly, and Lieutenant Ashley +Smith (McDougal) introduced me as a probable recruit. When the storm was +over she kindly lent me an old uniform, and I was made to feel quite at +home by being handed about thirty knives and asked to rub them in the +earth to get them clean. The cooks loved new recruits! + +Feeling just then was running very high over the Irish question. I +learnt a contingent had been offered and accepted, in case of +hostilities, and that the C.O. had even been over to Belfast to arrange +about stables and housing! + +One enthusiast asked me breathlessly (it was Cole-Hamilton) "Which side +are you on?" I'm afraid I knew nothing much about either and shamelessly +countered it by asking, "Which are you?" "Ulster, of course," she +replied. "I'm with you," said I, "it's all the same to me so long as I'm +there for the show." + +I thoroughly enjoyed that week-end and, of course, joined the Corps. In +July of that year we had great fun in the long summer camp at Pirbright. + +Work was varied, sometimes we rode out with the regiments stationed at +Bisley on their field days and looked after any casualties. (We had a +horse ambulance in those days which followed on these occasions and was +regarded as rather a dud job.) Other days some were detailed for work at +the camp hospital near by to help the R.A.M.C. men, others to exercise +the horses, clean the officers' boots and belts, etc., and, added to +these duties, was all the everyday work of the camp, the grooming and +watering of the horses, etc. Each one groomed her own mount, but in some +cases one was shared between two girls. "Grooming time is the only time +when I appreciate having half a horse," one of these remarked cheerily +to me. That hissing noise so beloved of grooms is extraordinarily hard +to acquire--personally, I needed all the breath I had to cope at all! + +The afternoons were spent doing stretcher drill: having lectures on +First Aid and Nursing from a R.A.M.C. Sergeant-Major, and, when it was +very hot, enjoying a splash in the tarpaulin-lined swimming bath the +soldiers had kindly made for us. Rides usually took place in the +evenings, and when bedtime came the weary troopers were only too ready +to turn in! Our beds were on the floor and of the "biscuit" variety, +being three square _paillasse_ arrangements looking like giant +reproductions of the now too well known army "tooth breakers." We had +brown army blankets, and it was no uncommon thing to find black earth +beetles and earwigs crawling among them! After months of active service +these details appear small, but in the summer of 1914 they were real +terrors. Before leaving the tents in the morning each "biscuit" had to +be neatly piled on the other and all the blankets folded, and then we +had to sally forth to learn the orders of the day, who was to be orderly +to our two officers, who was to water the horses, etc., etc., and by the +time it was eight a.m. we had already done a hard day's work. + +One particular day stands out in my memory as being a specially +strenuous one. The morning's work was over, and the afternoon was set +aside for practising for the yearly sports. The rescue race was by far +the most thrilling, its object being to save anyone from the enemy who +had been left on the field without means of transport. There was a good +deal of discussion as to who were to be the rescued and who the +rescuers. Sergeant Wicks explained to all and sundry that her horse +objected strongly to anyone sitting on its tail and that it always +bucked on these occasions. No one seemed particularly anxious to be +saved on that steed, and my heart sank as her eye alighted on me. Being +a new member I felt it was probably a test, and when the inevitable +question was asked I murmured faintly I'd be delighted. I made my way to +the far end of the field with the others fervently hoping I shouldn't +land on my head. + +At a given command the rescuers galloped up, wheeled round, and, +slipping the near foot from the stirrup, left it for the rescued to jump +up by. I was soon up and sitting directly behind the saddle with one +foot in the stirrup and a hand in Sergeant Wicks' belt. (Those of you +who know how slight she is can imagine my feeling of security!) Off we +set with every hope of reaching the post first, and I was just settling +down to enjoy myself when going over a little dip in the field two +terrific bucks landed us high in the air! Luckily I fell "soft," but as +I picked myself up I couldn't help wondering whether in some cases +falling into the enemy's hand might not be the lesser evil! I spent the +next ten minutes catching the "Bronco!" After that, we retired to our +mess for tea, on the old Union Jack, very ready for it after our +efforts. + +We had just turned in that night and drawn up the army blankets, +excessively scratchy they were too, when the bugle sounded for everyone +to turn out. (This was rather a favourite stunt of the C.O.'s.) Luckily +it was a bright moonlight night, and we learnt we were to make for a +certain hill, beyond Bisley, carrying with us stretchers and a tent for +an advanced dressing station. Subdued groans greeted this piece of news, +but we were soon lined up in groups of four--two in front, two behind, +and with two stretchers between the four. These were carried on our +shoulders for a certain distance, and at the command "Change +stretchers!" they were slipped down by our sides. This stunt had to be +executed very neatly and with precision, and woe betide anyone who +bungled it. It was ten o'clock when we reached Bisley Camp, and I +remember to this day the surprised look on the sentry's face, in the +moonlight, as we marched through. It was always a continual source of +wonderment to them that girls should do anything so much like hard work +for so-called amusement. That march seemed interminable--but singing and +whistling as we went along helped us tremendously. Little did we think +how this training would stand us in good stead during the long days on +active service that followed. At last a halt was called, and luckily at +this point there was a nice dry ditch into which we quickly flopped with +our backs to the hedge and our feet on the road. It made an ideal +armchair! + +We resumed the march, and striking off the road came to a rough clearing +where the tent was already being erected by an advance party. We were +lined up and divided into groups, some as stretcher bearers, some as +"wounded," some as nurses to help the "doctor," etc. The wounded were +given slips of paper, on which their particular "wound" was described, +and told to go off and make themselves scarce, till they were found and +carried in (a coveted job). When they had selected nice soft dry spots +they lay down and had a quiet well-earned nap until the stretcher +bearers discovered them. Occasionally they were hard to find, and a +panting bearer would call out "I say, wounded, _give_ a groan!" and they +were located. First Aid bandages were applied to the "wound" and, if +necessary, impromptu splints made from the trees near by. The patient +was then placed on the stretcher and taken back to the "dressing +station." "I'm slipping off the stretcher at this angle," she would +occasionally complain. "Shut up," the panting stretcher bearers would +reply, "you're unconscious!" + +When all were brought in, places were changed, and the stretcher bearers +became the wounded and vice versa. We got rather tired of this pastime +about 12.30 but there was still another wounded to be brought in. She +had chosen the bottom of a heathery slope and took some finding. It was +the C.O. She feigned delirium and threw her arms about in a wild manner. +The poor bearers were feeling too exhausted to appreciate this piece of +acting, and heather is extremely slippery stuff. When we had struggled +back with her the soi-disant doctor asked for the diagnosis. "Drunk and +disorderly," replied one of them, stepping smartly forward and saluting! +This somewhat broke up the proceedings, and _lese majeste_ was excused +on the grounds that it was too dark to recognise it was the C.O. The +tent pegs were pulled up and the tent pulled down and we all thankfully +tramped back to camp to sleep the sleep of the just till the reveille +sounded to herald another day. + + + + +CHAPTER II + +FIRST IMPRESSIONS + + +The last Chapter was devoted to the F.A.N.Y.'s in camp before the War, +but from now onwards will be chronicled facts that befell them on active +service. + +When war broke out in August 1914 Lieutenant Ashley Smith lost no time +in offering the Corps' services to the War Office. To our intense +disappointment these were refused. However, F.A.N.Y.'s are not easily +daunted. The Belgian Army, at that time, had no organised medical corps +in the field, and informed us they would be extremely grateful if we +would take over a Hospital for them. Lieutenant Smith left for Antwerp +in September 1914, and had arranged to take a house there for a Hospital +when the town fell; her flight to Ghent where she stayed to the last +with a dying English officer, until the Germans arrived, and her +subsequent escape to Holland have been told elsewhere. (_A F.A.N.Y. in +France--Nursing Adventures._) Suffice it to say we were delighted to see +her safely back among us again in October; and on the last day of that +month the first contingent of F.A.N.Y.'s left for active service, hardly +any of them over twenty-one. + +I was unfortunately not able to join them until January 1915; and never +did time drag so slowly as in those intervening months. I spent the time +in attending lectures and hospital, driving a car and generally picking +up every bit of useful information I could. The day arrived at last and +Coley and I were, with the exception of the Queen of the Belgians +(travelling incognito) and her lady-in-waiting, the only women on board. + +The Hospital we had given us was for Belgian Tommies, and called +Lamarck, and had been a Convent school before the War. There were fifty +beds for "_blesses_" and fifty for typhoid patients, which at that +period no other Hospital in the place would take. It was an extremely +virulent type of pneumonic typhoid. These cases were in a building apart +from the main Hospital and across the yard. Dominating both buildings +was the cathedral of Notre Dame, with its beautiful East window facing +our yard. + +The top floor of the main building was a priceless room and reserved for +us. Curtained off at the far end were the beds of the chauffeurs who had +to sleep on the premises while the rest were billeted in the town; the +other end resolved itself into a big untidy, but oh so jolly, sitting +room. Packing cases were made into seats and piles of extra blankets +were covered and made into "tumpties," while round the stove stood the +interminable clothes horses airing the shirts and sheets, etc., which +Lieutenant Franklin brooded over with a watchful eye! It was in this +room we all congregated at ten o'clock every morning for twenty precious +minutes during which we had tea and biscuits, read our letters, swanked +to other wards about the bad cases we had got in, and generally talked +shop and gossiped. There was an advanced dressing station at Oostkerke +where three of the girls worked in turn, and we also took turns to go up +to the trenches on the Yser at night, with fresh clothes for the men and +bandages and dressings for those who had been wounded. + +At one time we were billeted in a fresh house every three nights which, +as the reader may imagine in those "moving" times, had its +disadvantages. After a time, as a great favour, an empty shop was +allowed us as a permanency. It rejoiced in the name of "Le Bon Genie" +and was at the corner of a street, the shop window extending along the +two sides. It was this "shop window" we used as a dormitory, after +pasting the lower panes with brown paper. When they first heard at home +that we "slept in a shop window" they were mildly startled. We were so +short of beds that the night nurses tumbled into ours as soon as they +were vacated in the morning, so there was never much fear of suffering +from a damp one. + +Our patients were soldiers of the Belgian line and cavalry regiments and +at first I was put in a _blesse_ ward. I had originally gone out with +the idea of being one of the chauffeurs; but we were so short of nurses +that I willingly went into the wards instead, where we worked under +trained sisters. The men were so jolly and patient and full of gratitude +to the English "Miskes" (which was an affectionate diminutive of +"Miss"). It was a sad day when we had to clear the beds to make ready +for fresh cases. I remember going down to the Gare Maritime one day +before the Hospital ship left for Cherbourg, where they were all taken. +Never shall I forget the sight. In those days passenger ships had been +hastily converted into Hospital ships and the accommodation was very +different from that of to-day. All the cases from my ward were +"stretchers" and indeed hardly fit to be moved. I went down the +companion way, and what a scene met my eyes. The floor of the saloon was +packed with stretchers all as close together as possible. It seemed +terrible to believe that every one[1] of those men was seriously wounded. +The stretchers were so close together it was impossible to try and move +among them, so I stayed on the bottom rung of the ladder and threw the +cigarettes to the different men who were well enough to smoke them. The +discomfort they endured must have been terrible, for from a letter I +subsequently received I learnt they were three days on the journey. In +those days when the Germans were marching on Calais, it was up to the +medical authorities to pass the wounded through as quickly as possible. + +Often the men could only speak Flemish, but I did not find much +difficulty in understanding it. If you speak German with a broad +Cumberland accent I assure you you can make yourself understood quite +easily! It was worth while trying anyway, and it did one's heart good to +see how their faces lighted up. + +There were some famous characters in the Hospital, one of them being +Jefke, the orderly in Ward I, who at times could be tender as a woman, +at others a veritable clown keeping the men in fits of laughter, then as +suddenly lapsing into a profound melancholy and reading a horrible +little greasy prayer book assuring us most solemnly that his one idea in +life was to enter the Church. Though he stole jam right and left his +heart was in the right place, for the object of his depredations was +always some extra tasty dish for a specially bad _blesse_. He had the +longest of eyelashes, and his expression when caught would be so comical +it was impossible to be angry with him. + +Another famous "impayable" was the coffin-cart man who came on occasions +to drive the men to their last resting place. The Coffin cart was a +melancholy looking vehicle resembling in appearance a dilapidated old +crow, as much as anything, or a large bird of prey with its torn black +canvas sides that flapped mournfully like huge wings in the wind as +Pierre drove it along the streets. I could never repress a shiver when I +saw it flapping along. The driver was far from being a sorry individual +with his crisp black moustaches _bien frises_ and his merry eye. He +explained to me in a burst of confidence that his _metier_ in peace +times was that of a trick cyclist on the Halls. What a contrast from +his present job. He promised to borrow a bicycle on the morrow and give +an exhibition for our benefit in the yard. He did so, and was certainly +no mean performer. The only day I ever saw him really downcast was when +he came to bid good-bye. "What, Pierre," said I, "you don't mean to say +you are leaving us?" "Yes, Miske, for punishment--I will explain how it +arrived. Look you, to give pleasure to my young lady I took her for a +joy-ride, a very little one, on the coffin cart, and on returning behold +we were caught, _voila_, and now I go to the trenches!" I could not help +laughing, he looked so downcast, and the idea of his best girl enjoying +a ride in that lugubrious car struck me as being the funniest thing I +had heard for some time. + +We were a never-failing source of wonderment to the French inhabitants +of the town. Our manly Yeomanry uniform filled them with awe and +admiration. I overheard a chemist saying to one of his clients as we +were passing out of his shop, "Truly, until one hears their voices, one +would say they were men." + +"There's a compliment for us," said I, to Struttie. "I didn't know we +had manly faces until this moment." + +After some time when work was not at such a high pressure, two of us +went out riding in turns on the sands with one of the Commandants. +Belgian military saddles took some getting used to with the peak in +front and the still higher one behind, not to mention the excessive +slipperiness of the surface. His favourite pastime on the return ride +was to play follow my leader up and down the sand dunes, and it was his +great delight to go streaking up the very highest, with the sand +crumbling and slipping behind him, and we perforce had to follow and lie +almost flat on the horse's backs as we descended the "precipice" the +other side. We felt English honour was at stake and with our hearts in +our mouths (at least mine was!) followed at all costs. + +If we were off duty in the evening we hurried back to the "shop window" +buying eggs _en route_ and anything else we fancied for supper; then we +undressed hastily and thoroughly enjoyed our picnic meal instead of +having it in the hospital kitchen, with the sanded floor and the medley +of Belgian cooks in the background and the banging of saucepans as an +accompaniment. Two of the girls kept their billet off the Grand Place as +a permanency. It was in a funny old-fashioned house in a dark street +known universally as "the dug-out"--Madame was fat and capable, with a +large heart. The French people at first were rather at a loss to place +the English "Mees" socially and one day two of us looked in to ask +Madame's advice on how to cook something. She turned to us in +astonishment. "How now, you know not how to cook a thing simple as that? +Who then makes the 'cuisine' for you at home? Surely not Madame your +mother when there are young girls such as you in the house?" We gazed +at her dumbly while she sniffed in disgust. "Such a thing is unheard of +in my country," she continued wrathfully. "I wonder you have not shame +at your age to confess such ignorance"--"What _would_ she say," said my +friend to me when she had gone, "if I told her we have _two_ cooks at +home?" + +This house of Madame's was built in such a way that some of the bedrooms +jutted out over the shops in the narrow little streets. Thompson and +Struttie who had a room there were over a Cafe Chantant known as the +"Bijou"--a high class place of entertainment! Sunday night was a gala +performance and I was often asked to a "scrambled-egg" supper during +which, with forks suspended in mid air, we listened breathlessly to the +sounds of revelry beneath. Some of the performers had extremely good +voices and we could almost, but not quite, hear the words (perhaps it +was just as well). What ripping tunes they had! I can remember one +especially when, during the chorus, all the audience beat time with +their feet and joined in. We were evolving wild schemes of disguising +ourselves as _poilus_ and going in a body to witness the show, but +unfortunately it was one of those things that is "not done" in the best +circles! + + + + +CHAPTER III + +THE JOURNEY UP TO THE FRONT + + +Soon my turn came to go up to the trenches. The day had at last arrived! +We were not due to go actually _into_ the trenches till after dark in +case of drawing fire, but we set off early, as we had some distance to +go and stores to deliver at dressing stations. Two of the trained +nurses, Sister Lampen and Joynson, were of the party, and two +F.A.N.Y.'s; the rest of the good old "Mors" ambulance was filled with +sacks of shirts, mufflers, and socks, together with the indispensable +first-aid chests and packets of extra dressings in case of need. + +Our first visit was made to the Belgian Headquarters in the town for our +_laisser passers_, without which we would not be allowed to pass the +sentries at the barriers. We were also given the _mots du jour_ or +pass-words for the day, the latter of which came into operation only +when we were in the zone of fire. I will describe what happened in +detail, as it was a very fair sample of the average day up at the front. +The road along which we travelled was, of course, lined with the +ubiquitous poplar tree, placed at regular intervals as far as the eye +could see. The country was flat to a degree, with cleverly hidden +entrenchments at intervals, for this was the famous main road to Calais +along which the Kaiser so ardently longed to march. + +Barriers occurred frequently placed slantwise across the roads, where +sentries stood with fixed bayonets, and through which no one could pass +unless the _laisser passer_ was produced. Some of those barriers were +quite tricky affairs to drive through in a big ambulance, and reminded +me of a gymkhana! It was quite usual in those days to be stopped by a +soldier waiting on the road, who, with a gallant bow and salute, asked +your permission to "mount behind" and have a lift to so and so. In fact, +if you were on foot and wanted to get anywhere quickly it was always +safe to rely on a military car or ambulance coming along, and then +simply wave frantically and ask for a lift. Very much a case of share +and share alike. + +We passed many regiments riding along, and very gay they looked with +their small cocked caps and tassels that dangled jauntily over one eye +(this was before they got into khaki). The regiments were either French +or Belgian, for no British were in that sector at this time. Soon we +arrived at the picturesque entry into Dunkirk, with its drawbridge and +mediaeval towers and grey city wall; here our passes were again examined, +and there was a long queue of cars waiting to get through as we drew +up. Once "across the Rubicon" we sped through the town and in time came +to Furnes with its quaint old market place. Already the place was +showing signs of wear and tear. Shell holes in some of the roofs and a +good many broken panes, together with the general air of desertion, all +combined to make us feel we were near the actual fighting line. We +learnt that bombs had been dropped there only that morning. (This was +early in 1915, and since then the place has been reduced to almost +complete ruin.) We sped on, and could see one of the famous coastal +forts on the horizon. So different from what one had always imagined a +fort would look like. "A green hill far away," seems best to describe +it, I think. It wasn't till one looked hard that one could see small +dark splotches that indicated where the cannon were. + +A Belgian whom we were "lifting" ("lorry jumping" is now the correct +term!) pointed out to us a huge factory, now in English hands, which had +been owned before the war by a German. Under cover of the so-called +"factory" he had built a secret gun emplacement for a large gun, to +train on this same fort and demolish it when the occasion arose. At this +point we saw the first English soldiers that day in motor boats on the +canal, and what a smile of welcome they gave us! + +Presently we came to lines of Belgian Motor transport drawn up at the +sides of the road, car after car, waiting patiently to get on. Without +exaggeration this line was a mile in length, and we simply had to crawl +past, as there was barely room for a large ambulance on that narrow and +excessively muddy road. The drivers were all in excellent spirits, and +nodded and smiled as we passed--occasionally there was an officer's car +sandwiched in between, and those within gravely saluted. + +About this time a very cheery Belgian artillery-man who was exchanging +to another regiment, came on board and kept us highly amused. Souvenirs +were the aim and end of existence just then, and he promised us shell +heads galore when he came down the line. On leaving the car, as a token +of his extreme gratitude, he pressed his artillery cap into our hands +saying he would have no further need of it in his new regiment, and +would we accept it as a souvenir! + +The roads in Belgium need some explaining for those who have not had the +opportunity to see them. Firstly there is the _pave_, and a very popular +picture with us after that day was one which came out in the _Sketch_ of +a Tommy in a lorry asking a haughty French dragoon to "Alley off the +bloomin' pavee--vite." Well, this famous _pave_ consists of cobbles +about six inches square, and these extend across the road to about the +width of a large cart--On either side there is mud--with a capital M, +such as one doesn't often see--thick and clayey and of a peculiarly +gluey substance, and in some places quite a foot deep. You can imagine +the feeling at the back of your spine as you are squeezing past another +car. If you aren't extremely careful plop go the side wheels off the +"bloomin' pavee" into the mud beyond and it takes half the Belgian Army +to help to heave you on to the "straight and narrow" path once more. + +It was just about this time we heard our first really heavy firing and +it gave us a queer thrill to hear the constant boom-boom of the guns +like a continuous thunderstorm. We began to feel fearfully hungry, and +stopped beside a high bank flanking a canal and not far from a small +cafe. Bunny and I went to get some hot water. It was a tumble-down place +enough, and as we pushed the door open (on which, by the way, was the +notice in French, "During the bombardment one enters by the side door") +we found the room full of men drinking coffee and smoking. I bashfully +made my way towards one of the oldest women I have ever seen and asked +her in a low voice for some hot water. As luck would have it she was +deaf as a post, and the whole room listened in interested silence as +with scarlet face I yelled out my demands in my best French. We returned +triumphantly to the waiting ambulance and had a very jolly lunch to the +now louder accompaniment of the guns. The passing soldiers took a great +interest in us and called out whatever English words they knew, the most +popular being "Good night." + +We soon started on our way again, and at this point there was actually a +bend in the road. Just before we came to it there was a whistling, +sobbing sound in the air and then an explosion somewhere ahead of us. We +all shrank instinctively, and I glanced sideways at my companion, hoping +she hadn't noticed, to find that she was looking at me, and we both +laughed without explaining. + +As we turned the corner, the usual flat expanse of country greeted our +eyes, and a solitary red tiled farmhouse on the right attracted our +attention, in front of which was a group of soldiers. On drawing near we +saw that this was the spot where the shell had landed and that there +were casualties. We drew up and got down hastily, taking dressings with +us. The sight that met my eyes is one I shall never forget, and, in +fact, cannot describe. Four men had just been blown to pieces--I leave +the details to your imagination, but it gave me a sudden shock to +realize that a few minutes earlier those remains had been living men +walking along the road laughing and talking. + +The soldiers, French, standing looking on, seemed more or less dazed. +While they assured us we could do nothing, the body of a fifth soldier +who had been hit on the head by a piece of the same shell, and +instantaneously killed, was being borne on a stretcher into the farm. It +all seemed curiously unreal. + +One of the men silently handed me a bit of the shell, which was still +warm. It was just a chance that we had not stopped opposite that farm +for lunch, as we assuredly would have done had it not been hidden +beyond the bend in the road. The noise of firing was now very loud, and +though the sun was shining brightly on the farm, the road we were +destined to follow was sombre looking with a lowering sky overhead. +Another shell came over and burst in front of us to the right. For an +instant I felt in an awful funk, and my one idea was to flee from that +sinister spot as fast as I could. We seemed to be going right for it, +"looking for trouble," in fact, as the Tommies would say, and it gave +one rather a funny sinking feeling in one's tummy! A shell might come +whizzing along so easily just as the last one had done.[2] Someone at that +moment said "Let's go back," and with that all my fears vanished in a +moment as if by magic. "Rather not, this is what we've come for," said a +F.A.N.Y., "hurry up and get in, it's no use staying here," and soon we +were whizzing along that road again and making straight for the steady +boom-boom, and from then onwards a spirit of subdued excitement filled +us all. Stray shells burst at intervals, and it seemed not unlikely they +were potting at us from Dixmude. + +We passed houses looking more and more dilapidated and the road got +muddier and muddier. Finally we arrived at the village of Ramscapelle. +It was like passing through a village of the dead--not a house left +whole, few walls standing, and furniture lying about haphazard. We +proceeded along the one main street of the village until we came to a +house with green shutters which had been previously described to us as +the Belgian headquarters. It was in a better state than the others, and +a small flag indicated we had arrived at our destination. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +BEHIND THE TRENCHES + + +We got out and leaped the mud from the _pave_ to the doorstep, and an +orderly came forward and conducted us to a sitting room at the rear +where Major R. welcomed us, and immediately ordered coffee. We were +greatly impressed by the calm way in which he looked at things. He +pointed with pride to a gaily coloured print from the one and only "Vie" +(what would the dug-outs at the front have done without "La Vie" and +Kirchner?), which covered a newly made shell hole in the wall. He also +showed us places where shrapnel was embedded; and from the window we saw +a huge hole in the back garden made by a "Black Maria." Beside it was a +grave headed by a little rough wooden cross and surmounted by one of +those gay tasselled caps we had seen early that morning, though it +seemed more like last week, so much had happened since then. + +As it was only possible to go into the trenches at dusk we still had +some time to spare, and after drinking everybody's health in some +excellent benedictine, Major R. suggested we should make a tour of +inspection of the village. "The bombardment is over for the day," he +added, "so you need have no fear." I went out wondering at his certainty +that the Boche would _not_ bombard again that afternoon. It transpired +later that they did so regularly at the same time every afternoon as +part of the day's work! There did come a time, however, when they +changed the programme, but that was later, on another visit. + +We made for the church which had according to custom been shelled more +than the houses. The large crucifix was lying with arms outstretched on +a pile of wreckage, the body pitted with shrapnel. The cure accompanied +us, and it was all the poor old man could do to keep from breaking down +as he led us mournfully through that devastated cemetery. Some of the +graves, even those with large slabs over them, had been shelled to such +an extent that the stone coffins beneath could clearly be seen, half +opened, with rotting grave-clothes, and in others even the skeletons had +been disinterred. New graves, roughly fashioned like the one we had seen +in the back garden at headquarters, were dotted all over the place. +Somehow they were not so sinister as those old heavily slabbed ones +disturbed after years of peace. The cure took me into the church, the +walls of which were still standing, and begged me to take a photo of a +special statue (this was before cameras were tabooed), which I did. I +had to take a "time" as the light was so bad, and quite by luck it came +out splendidly and I was able to send him a copy. + +It was all most depressing and I was jolly glad to get away from the +place. On the way back we saw a battery of _sept-cinqs_ (French +seventy-fives) cleverly hidden by branches. They had just been moved up +into these new positions. Of course the booming of the guns went on all +the time and we were told Nieuport was having its daily "ration." We had +several other places to go to to deliver Hospital stores; also two +advanced dressing stations to visit, so we pushed off, promising Major +R. to be back at 6.30. + +We had to go in the direction of Dixmude, then in German occupation, and +the mud at this point was too awful for words, while at intervals there +were huge shell holes full of water looking like small circular ponds. +Luckily for us they were never right in the middle of the road, but +always a little to one side or the other, and just left us enough _pave_ +to squeeze past on, which was really very thoughtful of the Boche! + +The country looked indescribably desolate; but funnily enough there were +a lot of birds flying about, mostly in flocks. Two little partridges +quietly strutted across the road and seemed quite unperturbed! + +Further on we came across a dead horse, the first of many. It had been +hit in the flank by a shell. It was a sad sight; the poor creature was +just left lying by the side of the road, and I shall never forget it. +The crows had already taken out its eyes. I must say that that sight +affected me much more than the men I had seen earlier in the day. There +was no one then to bury horses. + +We came to the little _poste de secours_ and the officer told us they +had been heavily shelled that morning and he sent out an orderly to dig +up some of the fuse-tops that had fallen in the field beyond. He gave us +as souvenirs three lovely shell heads that had fused at the wrong time. +Everything seemed strangely unreal, and I wondered at times if I was +awake. He was delighted with the Hospital stores we had brought and +showed us his small dressing station, from which all the wounded had +been removed after the bombardment was over. We then went on to another +at Caeskerke within sight of Dixmude, the ruins of which could plainly +be seen. I found it hard to realize that this was really the much talked +of "front." One half expected to see rows and rows of regiments instead +of everything being hidden away. Except for the extreme desolation and +continual sound of firing we might have been anywhere. + +We were held up by a sentry further on, and he demanded the _mot de +jour_. I leant out of the car (it always has to be whispered) and +murmured "Gustave" in a low voice into his ear. "_Non, Mademoiselle_," +he said sadly, "_pas ca_." "Does he mean it isn't his own Christian +name?" I asked myself. Still it was the name we had been given at the +Etat Major as the pass word. I repeated it again with the same result. +"I assure you the Colonel himself at C---- gave it to me," I added +desperately. He still shook his head, and then I remembered that some +days they had names of people and others the names of places, and +perhaps I had been given the wrong one. "Paris" I hazarded. He again +shook his head, and I decided to be firm and in a voice of conviction +said, "Allons, c'est 'Arras,' alors." He looked doubtful, and said, +"Perhaps with the English it is that to-day." He was giving me a +loophole and I responded with fervour, "Yes, yes, assuredly it is +'Arras' with the English," and he waved us past. I thought regretfully +how easily a German spy might bluff the sentry in a similar manner. + +Time being precious I salved my conscience about it as we drew up in +Pervyse and decided to make tea. I saw a movement among the ruins and +there, peeping round one of the walls, was a ragged hungry looking +infant about eight years of age. We made towards him, but he fled, and +picking our way over the ruins we actually found a family in residence +in a miserable hovel behind the onetime Hotel de Ville. There was an old +couple, man and wife, and a flock of ragged children, the remnants of +different families which had been wiped out. They only spoke Flemish and +I brought out the few sentences I knew, whereupon the old dame seized my +arm and poured out such a flow of words that I was quite at a loss to +know what she meant. I did gather, however, that she had a niece of +sixteen in the inner room, who spoke French, and that she would go and +fetch her. The niece appeared at this moment and was dragged forward; +all she would say, however, was "_Tiens, tiens!_" to whatever we asked +her, so we came to the conclusion that was the limit to her knowledge of +French, very non-committal and not frightfully encouraging. So with much +bowing and smiling we departed on our way, after distributing the +remainder of our buns among the group of wide-eyed hungry looking +children who watched us off. The old man had stayed in his corner the +whole time muttering to himself. His brain seemed to be affected, which +was not much wonder considering what he had been through, poor old +thing! + +On our way back to Ramscapelle we had the bad luck to slip off the +"bloomin' pavee" while passing an ammunition wagon; a thing I had been +dreading all along. I got out on the foot board and stepped, in the +panic of the moment, into the mud. I thought I was never going to "touch +bottom." I did finally, and the mud was well above my knees. The passing +soldiers were greatly amused and pulled me to shore, and then, stepping +into the slough with a grand indifference, soon got the car up again. +The evening was drawing in, and the land all round had been flooded. As +the sun set, the most glorious lights appeared, casting purple shadows +over the water: It seemed hard to believe we were so near the trenches, +but there on the road were the men filing silently along on their way to +enter them as soon as dusk fell. They had large packs of straw on their +backs which we learnt was to ensure their having a dry place to sit in; +and when I saw the trenches later on I was not surprised at the +precaution. + +Mysterious "Star-lights" presently made their appearance over the German +trenches, gleamed for a moment, and then went out leaving the landscape +very dark and drear. We hurried on back to Ramscapelle, sentries popping +up at intervals to enquire our business. Floods stretched on either side +of the road as far as the eye could see. We were obliged to crawl at a +snail's pace as it grew darker. Of course no lights of any sort were +allowed, and the lines of soldiers passing along silently to their posts +in the trenches seemed unending; we were glad when we drew up once again +at the Headquarters in Ramscapelle. + +Major R. hastened out and told us that his own men who had been in the +trenches for four days were just coming out for a rest, and he wished we +could spare some of our woollies for them. We of course gladly assented, +so he lined them up in the street littered with debris in front of the +Headquarters. We each had a sack of things and started at different ends +of the line, giving every man a pair of socks, a muffler or scarf, +whichever he most wanted. In nearly every case it was socks; and how +glad and grateful they were to get them! It struck me as rather funny +when I noticed cards in the half-light affixed to the latter, texts +(sometimes appropriate, but more often not) and verses of poetry. I +thought of the kind hands that had knitted them in far away England and +wondered if the knitters had ever imagined their things would be given +out like this, to rows of mud-stained men standing amid shell-riddled +houses on a dark and muddy road, their words of thanks half-drowned in +the thunder of war. + + + + +CHAPTER V + +IN THE TRENCHES + + +Major R., who is a great admirer of things English, suddenly gave the +command to his men, and out of compliment to us "It's a long way to +Tipararee" rang out. The pronunciation of the words was most odd and we +listened in wonder; the Major's chest however positively swelled with +pride, for he had taught them himself! We assured him, tactfully, the +result was most successful. + +We returned to the Headquarters and sorted out stores for the trenches. +The Major at that moment received a telephone message to say a farm in +the Nieuport direction was being attacked. We looked up from our work +and saw the shells bursting like fireworks, the noise of course was +deafening. We soon got accustomed to it and besides had too much to do +to bother. When all was ready, we were given our instructions--we were +to keep together till we had passed through the village when the doctor +would be there to meet us and, with a guide, conduct us to the trenches; +we were all to proceed twenty paces one after the other, no word was to +be spoken, and if a Verey light showed up we were to drop down flat. I +hoped fervently it might not be in a foot of mud! + +Off we set, and I must say my heart was pounding pretty hard. It was +rather nervy work once we were beyond the town, straining our eyes +through the darkness to follow the figure ahead. Occasionally a sentry +popped up from apparently nowhere. A whispered word and then on we went +again. I really can't say how far we walked like this; it seemed +positively miles. Suddenly a light flared in the sky, illuminating the +surrounding country in an eerie glare. It didn't take me many minutes, +needless to say, to drop flat! Luckily it was _pave_, but I would have +welcomed mud rather than be left standing silhouetted within sight of +the German trenches on that shell-riddled road. Finally we saw a long +black line running at right angles, and the guide in front motioned me +to stop while he went on ahead. + +I had time to look round and examine the place as well as I could and +also to put down my bundle of woollies that had become extremely heavy. +These trenches were built against a railway bank (the railway lines had +long since been destroyed or torn up), and just beyond ran the famous +Yser and the inundations which had helped to stem the German advance. I +was touched on the shoulder at this point, and clambered down into the +trench along a very slippery plank. The men looked very surprised to see +us, and their little dug-outs were like large rabbit hutches. I crawled +into one on my hands and knees as the door was very low. The two +occupants had a small brazier burning. Straw was on the floor--the straw +we had previously seen on the men's backs--and you should have seen +their faces brighten at the sight of a new pair of socks. We pushed on, +as it was getting late. I shall never forget that trench--it was the +second line--the first line consisting of "listening posts" somewhere in +that watery waste beyond, where the men wore waders reaching well above +their knees. We squelched along a narrow strip of plank with the +trenches on one side and a sort of cesspool on the other--no wonder they +got typhoid, and I prayed I mightn't slip. + +We could walk upright further on without our heads showing, which was a +comfort, as it is extremely tiring to walk for long in a stooping +position. Through an observation hole in the parapet we looked right out +across the inundations to where the famous "Ferme Violette," which had +changed hands so often and was at present German, could plainly be seen. +Dark objects were pointed out to us sticking up in the water which the +sergeant cheerfully observed, holding his nose the meanwhile, were +_sales Boches_! We hurried on to a bigger dug-out and helped the doctor +with several _blesses_ injured that afternoon, and later we helped to +remove them back to the village and thence to a field hospital. Just +then we began bombarding with the 75's. which we had seen earlier on. +The row was deafening--first a terrific bang, then a swizzing through +the air with a sound like a sob, and then a plop at the other end where +it had exploded--somewhere. At first, as with all newcomers in the +firing line, we ducked our heads as the shells went over, to a roar of +delight from the men, but in time we gave that up. During this +bombardment we went on distributing our woollies all along the line, and +I thought my head would split at any moment, the noise was so great. I +asked one of the officers, during a pause, why the Germans weren't +replying, and he said we had just got the range of one of their +positions by 'phone, and as these guns we were employing had just been +brought up, the Boche would not waste any shells until they thought they +had our range. + +Presently we came to the officer's dug-out, and, would you believe it, +he had small windows with lace curtains! They were the size of pocket +handkerchiefs; still the fact remains, they _were_ curtains. He showed +us two bits of a shell that had burst above the day before and made the +roof collapse, but since then the damage had been remedied by a stout +beam. He was a merry little man with twinkling eyes and very proud of +his little house. + +Our things began to give out at this point and we were not at the end of +the line by any means. It was heart breaking to hear one man say, "Une +paire de chaussettes, Mees, je vous en prie; il y a trois mois depuis +que j'en ai eu." (A pair of socks, miss, I beseech you, it's three +months since I had any). I gave him my scarf, which was all I had left, +and could only turn sorrowfully away. He put it on immediately, +cheerfully accepting the substitute. + +We were forced to make our adieux at this point, as there was no reason +for us to continue along the line. We promised to bring more things the +next night and start at the point where we had left off. I thought +regretfully it would be some days before my turn came round again. + +The same care had to be observed on the return journey, and we could +only speak in the softest of whispers. The bombardment had now died away +as suddenly as it had begun. The men turned from their posts to whisper +"_Bon soir, bonne chance_," or else "_Dieu vous benisse_." The silence +after that ear-splitting din was positively uncanny: it made one feel +one wanted to shout or whistle, or do something wild; anything to break +it. One almost wished the Germans would retaliate! That silent monster +only such a little way from us seemed just waiting to spring. We crawled +one by one out of the trenches on to the road, and began the perilous +journey homewards with the _blesses_, knowing that at any moment the +Germans might begin bombarding. As we were resting the Captain of the +battery joined us, and in the semi-darkness I saw he was offering me a +bunch of snowdrops! It certainly was an odd moment to receive a bouquet, +but somehow at the time it did not seem to be particularly out of place, +and I tucked them into the belt of my tunic and treasured them for days +afterwards--snowdrops that had flowered regardless of war in the garden +of some cottage long since destroyed. + +Arrived once more at Headquarters we were pressed to a _petit verre_ of +some very hot and raw liqueur, but nevertheless very warming, and very +good. I felt I agreed with the Irish coachman who at his first taste +declared "The shtuff was made in Hiven but the Divil himself invinted +the glasses!" We had got terribly cold in the trenches. After taking +leave of our kind hosts we set off for the Hospital. + +It was now about 1.30 a.m., and we were stopped no less than seventeen +times on our way back. As it was my job to lean out and whisper into the +sentry's "pearly," I got rather exasperated. By the time I'd passed the +seventeenth "Gustave," I felt I'd risk even a bayonet to be allowed to +snooze without interruption. The _blesses_ were deposited in Hospital +and the car, once rid of its wounded load, sped through the night back +to Lamarck, and I wondered sleepily if my first visit to the trenches +was a reality or only a dream. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +THE TYPHOID WARDS + + +When I first came to Hospital I had been put as V.A.D. in Ward I, on the +surgical side, and at ten o'clock had heard "shop" (which by the way was +strictly debarred, but nevertheless formed the one and only topic of +conversation), from nurses and sisters in the Typhoid Wards, but had +never actually been there myself. As previously explained the three +Typhoid Wards--rooms leading one out of the other on the ground +floor--were in a separate building joined only by some outhouses to the +main portion, thus forming three sides of the paved yard. + +The east end of the Cathedral with its beautiful windows completed the +square, and in the evenings it was very restful to hear the muffled +sounds of the old organ floating up through the darkness. + +Sister Wicks asked me one day to go through these wards with her. It +must be remembered that at this early period there were no regular +typhoid hospitals; and in fact ours was the only hospital in the place +that would take them in, the others having refused. Our beds were +therefore always full, and the typhoid staff was looked on as the +hardest worked in the Hospital, and always tried to make us feel that +they were the only ones who did any real work! + +It was difficult to imagine these hollow-cheeked men with glittering +eyes and claw-like hands were the men who had stemmed the German rush at +Liege. Some were delirious, others merely plucking at the sheets with +their wasted fingers, and everywhere the sisters and nurses were +hurrying to and fro to alleviate their sufferings as much as possible. I +shall always see the man in bed sixteen to this day. He was extremely +fair, with blue eyes and a light beard. I started when I first saw him, +he looked so like some of the pictures of Christ one sees; and there was +an unearthly light in his eyes. He was delirious and seemed very ill. +The sister told me he had come down with a splendid fighting record, and +was one of the worst cases of pneumonic typhoid in the ward. My heart +ached for him, and instinctively I shivered, for somehow he did not seem +to belong to this world any longer. We passed on to Ward III, where I +was presented to "Le Petit Sergent," a little bit of a man, so cheery +and bright, who had made a marvellous recovery, but was not yet well +enough to be moved. Everywhere was that peculiar smell which seems +inseparable from typhoid wards in spite, or perhaps because of, the many +disinfectants. We left by the door at the end of Salle III and once in +the sunlight again, I heaved a sigh of relief; for frankly I thought the +three typhoid Salles the most depressing places on earth. They were +dark, haunting, and altogether horrible. "Well," said Sergeant Wicks +cheerfully, "what do you think of the typhoid Wards? Splendid aren't +they? You should have seen them at first." As I made no reply, she +rattled gaily on, "Well, I hope you will find the work interesting when +you come to us as a pro. to-morrow." I gasped. "Am I to leave the +_blesses_, then?" was all I could feebly ask--"Why, yes, didn't they +tell you?"--and she was off before I could say anything more. + + * * * * * + +When one goes to work in France one can't pick and choose, and the next +morning saw me in the typhoid wards which soon I learnt to love, and +which I found so interesting that I hardly left them from that time +onwards, except for "trench duty." + +I was in Salle I at first--the less serious cases--and life seemed one +eternal rush of getting "feeds" for the different patients, "doing +mouths," and making "Bengers." All the boiling and heating was done in +one big stove in Salle II. Each time I passed No. 16 I tried not to look +at him, but I always ended in doing so, and each time he seemed to be +thinner and more ethereal looking. He literally went to skin and bone. +He must have been such a splendid man, I longed for him to get better, +but one morning when I passed, the bed was empty and a nurse was +disinfecting the iron bedstead. For one moment I thought he had been +moved. "Where--What?" I asked, disjointedly of the nurse. "Died in the +night," she said briefly. "Don't look like that," and she went on with +her work. No. 16 had somehow got on my mind, I suppose because it was +the first bad typhoid case I had seen, and from the first I had taken +such an interest in him. One gets accustomed to these things in time, +but I never forgot that first shock. In the afternoons the men's +temperatures rose alarmingly, and most of the time was spent in +"blanket-bathing" which is about the most back-aching pastime there is; +but how the patients loved to feel the cool sponges passing over their +feverish limbs. They were so grateful and, though often too ill to +speak, would smile their thanks, and one felt it was worth all the +backaches in the world. + +It was such a virulent type of typhoid. Although we had been inoculated, +we were obliged to gargle several times during the day, and even then we +always had more or less of a "typy" throat. + +Our gallant sergeant, sister Wicks, who had organised and run the whole +of the three Salles since November '14, suddenly developed para-typhoid, +and with great difficulty was persuaded to go to bed. Fortunately she +did not have it badly, and in her convalescent stage I was sent to look +after her up at the "shop window." I was anxious to get her something +really appetising for lunch, and presently heard one of the famous fish +wives calling out in the street. I ran out and bargained with her, for +of course she would have been vastly disappointed if I had given her the +original price she asked. At last I returned triumphant with two nice +looking little "Merlans," too small to cut their heads off, I decided. I +had never coped with fish before, so after holding them for some time +under the tap till they seemed clean enough, put them on to fry in +butter. I duly took them in on a tray to Wicks, and I'm sure they looked +very tasty. "Have you cleaned them?" she asked suspiciously. "Yes, of +course I have," I replied. She examined them. "May I ask what you +_did_?" she said. "I held them under the tap," I told her, "there didn't +seem anything more to be done," I added lamely. + +How she laughed--I thought she was never going to stop--and I stood +there patiently waiting to hear the joke. She explained at length and +said, "No, take them away; you've made me feel ever so much better, but +I'll have eggs instead, thank you." I went off grumbling, "How on earth +was I to know anyway they kept their tummies behind their ears!" + +That fish story went all over the hospital. + +Nursing in the typhoids was relieved by turns up to the trenches behind +Dixmude, which we looked forward to tremendously, but as they were +practically--with slight variations in the matter of shelling and +bombardments--a repetition of my first experience, there is no object in +recounting them here. + +The typhoid doctor--"Scrubby," by name; so called because of the +inability of his chin to make up its mind if it would have a beard or +not--was very amusing, without of course meaning to be. He liked to +write the reports of the patients in the Sister's book himself, and was +very proud of his English, and this is what occasionally appeared: + +Patient No. 12. "If the man sleep, let him sleep." + +Patient No. 13. "To have red win (wine) in the spoonful." + +Patient No. 14. "If the man have a temper (i.e. temperature) reduce him +with the sponges." And he was once heard to remark with reference to a +flat tyre: "That tube is contrary to the swelling state!" + +So far, I have made no mention of the men orderlies, who I must say were +absolute bricks. There was Pierre, an alert little Bruxellois, who was +in a bank before the war and kept his widowed mother. He was in constant +fear as to her safety, for she had been left in their little house and +had no time to escape. He was well-educated and most interesting, and +oh, so gentle with the men. Then there was Louis, Ziske, and Charlke, a +big hefty Walloon who had been the butcher on a White Star liner before +the war, all excellent workers. + +About this time I went on night duty and liked it very much. One was +much freer for one thing, and the sisters immediately became more human +(especially when they relied on the pros. to cook the midnight supper!), +and further there were no remarks or reflections about the defects of +the "untrained unit" who "imagined they knew everything after four +months of war." (With reference to cooking, I might here mention that +since the fish episode Mrs. Betton and I were on more than speaking +terms!)[3] + +There were several very bad cases in Salle II. One especially Sister +feared would not pull through. I prayed he might live, but it was not to +be. She was right--one night about 2 a.m. he became rapidly worse and +perforation set in. The dreadful part was that he was so horribly +conscious all the time. "Miske," he asked, "think you that I shall see +my wife and five children again?" Before I could reply, he continued, +"They were there _la bas_ in the little house so happy when I left them +in 1914--My God," and he became agitated. "If it were not permitted that +I return? Do you think I am going to die, Miske?" "You must try and keep +the patient from getting excited," said the calm voice of the Sister, +who did not speak French. He died about an hour later. It was terrible. +"Why must they go through so much suffering?" I wondered miserably. If +they _are_ to die, why can't it happen at once?" + +This was the first typhoid death I had actually witnessed. In the +morning the sinister coffin cart flapped into the yard and bore him off +to his last resting place. What, I wondered, happened to his wife and +five children? + +When I became more experienced I could tell if patients were going to +recover or not; and how often in the latter case I prayed that it might +be over quickly; but no, the fell disease had to take its course; and +even the sisters said they had never seen such awful cases. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +THE ZEPPELIN RAID + + +Once while on night duty I got up to go to a concert in the town at the +theatre in aid of the _Orphelins de la Guerre_. I must say when the +Frenchman makes up his mind to have a charity concern he does it +properly, and with any luck it begins at 2.30 and goes on till about 9 +or possibly 10 p.m. + +This was the first we had attended and they subsequently became quite a +feature of the place. It was held on a Sunday, and the entire population +turned out _colimente_ and _endimanche_ to a degree. The French and +Belgian uniforms were extraordinarily smart, and the Belgian guides in +their tasselled caps, cheery breeches, and hunting-green tunics added +colour to the scene. + +The Mayor of the town opened the performance with a long speech, the +purport of which I forget, but it lasted one hour and ten minutes, and +then the performance began. There were several intervals during which +the entire audience left the salle and perambulated along the wide +corridors round the building to greet their friends, and drink champagne +out of large flat glasses, served at fabulous prices by fair ladies of +the town clad in smart muslin dresses. The French Governor-General, +covered with stars and orders, was there in state with his +aides-de-camp, and the Belgian General ditto, and everyone shook hands +and talked at once. Heasy and I stood and watched the scene fascinated. +Tea seemed to be an unheard of beverage. Presently we espied an +Englishman, very large and very tall, talking to a group of French +people. I remark on the fact because in those days there were no English +anywhere near us, and to see a staff car passing through the town was +quite an event. We were glad, as he was the only Englishman there, that +our people had chosen the largest and tallest representative they could +find. Presently he turned, and looked as surprised to see two khaki-clad +English girls in solar topees (the pre-war F.A.N.Y. headgear), as I +think we were to see him. + +The intervals lasted for half an hour, and I came to the conclusion they +were as much, if not more, part of the entertainment as the concert +itself. + +It was still going strong when we left at 7 p.m. to go on duty, and the +faithful "Flossie" (our Ford) bore us swiftly back to hospital and +typhoids. + +On the night of March 18th, 1915, we had our second Zeppelin raid, when +the Hospital had a narrow escape. (The first one occurred on 23rd +February, wiping out an entire family near the "Shop-window.") I was +still on night duty and, crossing over to Typhoids with some dressings, +noticed how velvety the sky looked, with not a star to be seen. + +We always had two orderlies on at night, and at 12 o'clock one of them +was supposed to go over to the kitchen and have his supper, and when he +came back at 12.30 the other went. On this particular occasion they had +both gone together. Sister had also gone over at 12 to supper, so I was +left absolutely alone with the fifty patients.[4] + +None of the men at that time were particularly bad, except No. 23, who +was delirious and showed a marked inclination to try and get out of bed. +I had just tucked him in safely for the twentieth time when at 12.30 I +heard the throb of an engine. Aeroplanes were always flying about all +day, so I did not think much of it. I half fancied it might be Sidney +Pickles, the airman, who had been to the Hospital several times and was +keen on stunt flying. This throbbing sounded much louder though than any +aeroplane, and hastily lowering what lights we had, with a final tuck to +No. 23, I ran to the door to ascertain if there was cause for alarm. The +noise was terrific and sounded like no engine I had ever heard in my +life. I gazed into the purple darkness and felt sure that I must see the +thing, it seemed actually over my head. The expanse of sky to be seen +from the yard was not very great, but suddenly in the space between the +surgical side and the Cathedral I could just discern an inky shadow, +whale-like in shape, with one small twinkling light like a wicked eye. +The machine was travelling pretty fast and fairly low down, and by its +bulk I knew it to be a Zeppelin. I tore back into the ward where most of +the men were awake, and found myself saying, "_Ce n'est rien, ce n'est +qu'un Zeppelin_" ("It's nothing--only a Zeppelin"), which on second +thoughts I came to the conclusion was not as reassuring as I meant it to +be. By this time the others were on their way back across the yard, and +I turned to give 23 another tuck up. + +Such a long time elapsed before any firing occurred; it seemed to me +when I first looked out into the yard I must be the only person who had +heard the Zepp. What were the sentinels doing, I wondered? The +explanation I heard later from a French gunnery lieutenant. The man who +had the key to the ammunitions for the anti-aircraft guns was not at his +post, and was subsequently discovered in a drunken sleep--probably the +work of German spies--at all events he was shot at dawn the following +day. In such manner does France deal with her sons who fail her. As soon +as the Zepp. had passed over, the firing burst forth in full vigour to +die away presently. So far, apparently, no bombs had been dropped. I +suggested to Pierre we should relight one or two lamps, as it was +awkward stumbling about in complete darkness. "_Non, non, Miske_, he +will return," he said with conviction. Apparently, though, all seemed +quiet; and Sister suggested that after all the excitement, I should make +my way across the yard to get some supper. Pierre came with me, and at +that moment a dull explosion occurred. It was a bomb. The Zeppelin was +still there. The guns again blazed away, the row was terrific. Star +shells were thrown up to try and locate the Zepp., and the sky was full +of showering lights, blue, green, and pink. Four searchlights were +playing, shrapnel was bursting, and a motor machine gun let off volleys +from sheer excitement, the sharp tut-tut-tut adding to the general +confusion. In the pauses the elusive Zepp. could be heard buzzing like +some gigantic angry bee. I wouldn't have missed it for anything. It +looked like a fireworks display, and the row was increasing each minute. +Every Frenchman in the neighbourhood let off his rifle with gusto. + +Just then we heard an extraordinary rushing noise in the air, like steam +being let off from a railway engine. A terrific bang ensued, and then a +flare. It was an incendiary bomb and was just outside the Hospital +radius. I was glad to be in the open, one felt it would be better to be +killed outside than indoors. If the noise was bad before, it now became +deafening. Pierre suggested the _cave_, a murky cellar by the gate, but +it seemed safer to stay where we were, leaning in the shadow against the +walls of Notre Dame. Very foolish, I grant you, but early in 1915 the +dangers of falling shrapnel, etc., were not so well known. These events +happened in a few seconds. Suddenly Pierre pointed skywards. "He is +there, up high," he cried excitedly. I looked, but a blinding light +seemed to fill all space, the yard was lit up and I remember wondering +if the people in the Zepp. would see us in our white overalls. The +rushing sound was directly over our heads; there was a crash, the very +walls against which we were leaning rocked, and to show what one's mind +does at those moments, I remember thinking that when the Cathedral +toppled over it would just fit nicely into the Hospital square. +Instinctively I put my head down sheltering it as best I could with my +arms, while bricks, mortar, and slates rained on, and all around, us. +There was a heavy thud just in front of us, and when the dust had +cleared away I saw it was a coping from the Cathedral, 2 feet by 4! +Notre Dame had remained standing, but the bomb had completely smashed in +the roof of the chapel, against the walls of which we were leaning! It +was only due to their extreme thickness that we were saved, and also to +the fact that we were under the protection of the wall. Had we been +further out the coping would assuredly have landed on us or else we +should have been hit by the shrapnel contained in the bombs, for the +wall opposite was pitted with it. The dust was suffocating, and I heard +Pierre saying, "Come away, Mademoiselle." Though it takes so long to +describe, only a few minutes had elapsed since leaving to cross the +yard. The beautiful East window of the Cathedral was shivered to atoms, +and likewise every window in the Hospital. All our watches had stopped. + +Crashing over broken glass to the surgical side, we pantingly asked if +everyone was safe. We met Porter coming down the stairs, a stream of +blood flowing from a cut on her forehead. I hastily got some dressings +for it. Luckily it was only a flesh wound, and not serious. Besides the +night nurses at the Hospital, the chauffeurs and housekeeper slept in +the far end of the big room at the top of the building. They had not +been awakened (so accustomed were they to din and noise), until the +crash of the bomb on the Cathedral, and it was by the glass being blown +in on to their stretcher beds that Porter had been cut; otherwise no one +else was hurt. + +I plunged through the debris back to the typhoids, wondering how 23 had +got on, or rather got out, and, would you believe it, his delirium had +gone and he was sleeping quietly like a child! The only bit of good the +Boche ever did I fancy, for the shock seemed to cure him and he got well +from that moment. + +The others were in an awful mess, and practically every man's bed was +full of broken glass. You can imagine what it meant getting this out +when the patients were suffering from typhoid, and had to be moved as +little as possible! One boy in Salle V had a flower pot from the +window-sill above fixed on his head! Beyond being slightly dazed, and of +course covered with mould, he was none the worse; and those who were +well enough enjoyed his discomfiture immensely. Going into Salle III +where there were shouts of laughter (the convalescents were sent to that +room) I saw a funny sight. One little man, who was particularly fussy +and grumpy (and very unpopular with the other men in consequence), slept +near the stove, which was an old-fashioned coal one with a pipe leading +up to the ceiling. The concussion had shaken this to such an extent that +accumulations of soot had come down and covered him from head to foot, +and he was as[5] black as a nigger! His expression of disgust was beyond +description, and he was led through the other two wards on exhibition, +where he was greeted with yells of delight. It was just as well, as it +relieved the tension. It can't be pleasant to be ill in bed and covered +with bits of broken glass and mortar, not to mention the uncertainty of +whether the walls are going to fall in or not. "Ah," said the little +Sergeant to me, "I have never had fear as I had last night." "One is +better in the trenches than in your Hospital, Miske," chimed in another. +"At least one can defend oneself." + +One orderly--a new one whom I strongly suspected of being an +_embusque_--was unearthed in our rounds from under one of the beds, and +came in for a lot of sarcasm, to the great joy of the patients who had +all behaved splendidly.[6] With the exception of Pierre and the porter on +the surgical side, every man jack of them, including the Adjutant, had +fled to the _cave_. A subsequent order came out soon after which amused +us very much:--In the event of future air raids the _infirmiers_ +(orderlies) were to fly to the _cave_ with the convalescents while the +_tres malades_ were to be left to the care of the _Mees anglaises_![7] + +It took us till exactly 7 a.m. to get those three wards in anything like +order, working without stopping. "Uncle," who had dressed hurriedly and +come up to the Hospital from his Hotel to see if he could be of any use, +brought a very welcome bowl of Ivelcon about 2.30, which just made all +the difference, as I had had nothing since 7 the night before. It's +surprising how hungry Zeppelin raids make one! + +An extract from the account which appeared in _The Daily Chronicle_ the +following morning was as follows:-- + +"One bomb fell on Notre Dame Cathedral piercing the vault of one of the +Chapels on the right transept and wreaking irreparable damage to the +beautiful old glass of its gothic windows. This same bomb, which must +have been of considerable size, sent debris flying into the courtyard of +the Lamarcq Hospital full of Belgian wounded being tended by English +Nurses. + +"Altogether these Yeomanry nurses behaved admirably, for all the menfolk +with the exception of the doorkeeper" (and Pierre, please), "fled for +refuge to the cellars, and the women were left. In the neighbourhood one +hears nothing but praise of these courageous Englishwomen. Another bomb +fell on a railway carriage in which a number of mechanics--refugees from +Lille--were sleeping, as they had no homes of their own. The effect of +the bomb on these unfortunate men was terrible. They were all more or +less mutilated; and heads, hands, and feet were torn off. Then flames +broke out on top of this carriage and in a moment the whole was one huge +conflagration. + +"As the Zeppelin drew off, its occupants had the sinister satisfaction +of leaving behind them a great glare which reddened the sky for a full +hour in contrast with the total blackness of the town." + +Chris took out "Flossie," and was on the scene of this last disaster as +soon as she could get into her clothes after being so roughly awakened +by the splinters of glass. + +When the day staff arrived from the "Shop-window," what a sight met +their eyes! The poor old place looked as if it had had a night of it, +and as we sat down to breakfast in the kitchen we shivered in the icy +blasts that blew in gusts across the room, for of course the weather had +made up its mind to be decidedly wintry just to improve matters. It took +weeks to get those windows repaired, as there was a run on what glaziers +the town possessed. The next night our plight in typhoids was not one to +be envied--Army blankets had been stretched inadequately across the +windows and the beds pulled out of the way of draughts as much as +possible, but do what we could the place was like an icehouse; the snow +filtered softly through the flapping blankets, and how we cursed the +Hun! At 3 a.m. one of the patients had a relapse and died. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +CONCERNING BATHS, "JOLIE ANNETTE," "MARIE-MARGOT" AND "ST. INGLEVERT." + + +After this event I was sent back for a time to the _blesses graves_ on +the surgical side on day duty. All who had been on duty that memorable +night had had a pretty considerable shock. It was like leaving one world +and stepping into another, so complete was the change from typhoids. + +The faithful Jefke was still there stealing jam for the patients, +spending a riotous Saturday night _au cinema_, going to Mass next +morning, and then presenting himself in the Ward again looking as if +butter would not melt in his mouth! + +A new assistant orderly was there as well. A pious looking individual in +specs. He worked as if manual labour pained him, and was always studying +out of a musty little book. He was desperately keen to learn English and +spoke it on every possible occasion; was intensely stupid as an orderly +and obstinate as a mule. He was trying in the extreme. One day he told +me he was intended for higher things and would soon be a priest in the +Church. Sister Lampen, who was so quick and thorough herself, found him +particularly tiresome, and used to refer to him as her "cross" in life! +One day she called him to account, and, in an exasperated voice said, +"What are you supposed to be doing here, Louis, anyway? Are you an +orderly or aren't you?" "_Mees_," he replied piously, rolling his eyes +upwards, "I am learning to be a father!" I gave a shriek of delight and +hastened up to tea in the top room with the news. + +We were continually having what was known as _alertes_, that the Germans +were advancing on the town. We had boxes ready in all the Wards with a +list on the lid indicating what particular dressings, etc., went in +each. None of the _alertes_, however, materialized. We heard later it +was only due to a Company of the gallant Buffs throwing themselves into +the breach that the road to Calais had been saved. + +There were several exciting days spent up at our Dressing Station at +Hoogstadt, and one day to our delight we heard that three of the +F.A.N.Y.'s, who had been in the trenches during a particularly bad +bombardment, were to be presented with the Order of Leopold II. A daily +paper giving an account of this dressing station headed it, in their +enthusiasm, "Ten days without a change of clothes. Brave Yeomanry +Nurses!" + +It was a coveted job to post the letters and then go down to the Quay to +watch the packet come in from England. The letters, by the way, were +posted in the guard's van of a stationary train where Belgian soldiers +sorted and despatched them. I used to wonder vaguely if the train rushed +off in the night delivering them. + +There was a charm and fascination about meeting that incoming boat; the +rattle of chains, the clang as the gangway was fixed, the strange cries +of the French sailors, the clicking of the bayonets as the cordon formed +round the fussy passport officer, and lastly the excitement of watching +to see if there was a spy on board. The _Walmer Castle_ and the +_Canterbury_ were the two little packets employed, and they have +certainly seen life since the war began. Great was our excitement if we +caught sight of Field Marshal French on his way to G.H.Q., or King +Albert, his tall form stooping slightly under the cares of State, as he +stepped into his waiting car to be whirled northwards to _La Panne_. + +The big Englishman (accompanied by a little man disguised in very plain +clothes as a private Detective) also scanned every passenger closely as +he stepped on French soil, and we turned away disgustedly as each was +able to furnish the necessary proof that he was on lawful business. +"Come, Struttie, we must fly," and back we hurried over the bridge, past +the lighthouse, across the Place d'Armes, up the Rue de la Riviere and +so to Hospital once more. + +When things became more settled, definite off times were arranged. Up to +then sisters and nurses had worked practically all day and every day, so +great was the rush. We experienced some difficulty in having baths, as +there were none up at the "Shop." Dr. Cools from the Gare Centrale told +us some had been fitted in a train down there, and permission was +obtained for us to use them. But first we were obliged to present +ourselves to the Commandant (for the Railway shed there had been turned +into an _Hopital de Passage_, where the men waited on stretchers till +they were collected each morning by ambulances for the different +Hospitals), and ask him to be kind enough to furnish a _Bon pour un +bain_ (a bath pass)! When I first went to the Bureau at the gare and saw +this Commandant in his elegant tight-fitting navy blue uniform, with +pointed grey beard and general air of importance, I felt that to ask him +for a "bath ticket" was quite the last thing on earth! He saw my +hesitation, and in the most natural manner in the world said with a bow, +"Mademoiselle has probably come for _un bon_?" I assented gratefully, +was handed the pass and fled. It requires some courage to face four +officials in order to have a bath. + +Arrived at the said train, one climbed up a step-ladder in to a truck +divided into four partitions, and Ziske, a deaf old Flamand, carried +buckets of boiling water from the engine and we added what cold we +wanted ourselves. You will therefore see that when anyone asked you what +you were doing in your free time that day and you said you were "going +to have a bath," it was understood that it meant the whole afternoon +would be taken up. + +At first we noticed the French people seemed a little stiff in their +manner and rather on the defensive. We wondered for some time what could +be the reason, and chatting one day with Madame at the dug-out I +mentioned the fact to her. + +"See you, Mademoiselle, it is like this," she explained, "you others, +the English, had this town many years ago, and these unlettered ones, +who read never the papers and know nothing, think you will take +possession of the town once again." Needless to say in time this +impression wore off and they became most friendly. + +The Place d'Armes was a typical French marketplace and very picturesque. +At one corner of the square stood the town hall with a turret and a very +pretty Carillon called "Jolie Annette," since smashed by a shell. I +asked an old shopkeeper why the Carillon should be called by that name +and he told me that in 1600 a well-to-do _commercant_ of the town had +built the turret and promised a Carillon only on the condition that it +should be a line from a song sung by a fair lady called "Jolie Annette," +performing at a music hall or Cafe Chantant in the town at that time. +The inhabitants protested, but he refused to give the Carillon unless he +could have his own way, which he ultimately did. Can't you imagine the +outraged feelings of the good burghers? "_Que voulez-vous, +Mademoiselle_," the old man continued, shrugging his shoulders, "_Jolie +Annette ne chante pas mal, hein?_" and I agreed with him. + +I thought it was rather a nice story, and I often wondered, when I +heard that little song tinkling out, exactly what "Jolie Annette" really +looked like, and I quite made up my mind on the subject. Of course she +had long side curls, a slim waist, lots of ribbons, a very full skirt, +white stockings, and a pair of little black shoes, and last but not +least, a very bewitching smile. It is sad to think that a shell has +silenced her after all these years, and I hope so much that someone will +restore the Carillon so that she can sing her little song once again. + +In one corner of the square was a house (now turned into a furniture +shop) where one of the F.A.N.Y.'s great-grandmothers had stayed when +fleeing with the Huguenots to England. They had finally set off across +the Channel in rowing boats. Some sportsmen! + +Market days on Saturdays were great events, and little booths filled up +the whole _place_, and what bargains one could make! We bought all the +available flowers to make the wards as bright as possible. In the +afternoons when there was not much to do except cut dressings, I often +sat quietly at my table and listened to the discussions which went on in +the ward. The Belgian soldier loves an argument. + +One day half in French, and half in Flemish, they were discussing what +course they would pursue if they found a wounded German on the +battlefield. "_Tuez-le comme un lapin_," cried one. "_Faut les +zigouiller tous_," cried another (almost untranslatable slang, but +meaning more or less "choke the lot"). "_Ba, non, sauvez-le p'is qu'il +est blesse_," cried a third to which several agreed. This discussion +waxed furious till finally I was called on to arbitrate. One boy was +rapidly working himself into a fever over the question. He was out to +kill any Boche under any conditions, and I don't blame him. This was his +story: + +In the little village where he came from, the Germans on entering had +treated the inhabitants most brutally. He was with his old father and +mother and young brother of eight--(It was August 1914 and his class had +not yet been called up). Some Germans marched into the little cottage +and shaking the old woman roughly by the arm demanded something to +drink. His mother was very deaf and slow in her movements and took some +time to understand. "Ha," cried one brute, "we will teach you to walk +more quickly," and without more ado he ran his sword through her poor +old body. The old man sprang forward, too late to save her, and met with +the same fate. The little brother had been hastily hidden in an empty +cistern as they came in. "Thus, Mademoiselle," the boy ended, "I have +seen killed before my eyes my own father and mother; my little brother +for all I know is also dead. I have yet to find out. I myself was taken +prisoner, but luckily three days later managed to escape and join our +army; do you therefore blame me, _Miske_, if I wish to kill as many of +the swine as possible?" He sank back literally purple in the face with +rage, and a murmur of sympathy went round the Ward. His wound was not a +serious one, for which I was thankful, or he might have done some harm. +One evening I was wandering through the "Place d'Armes" when some +violins in a music shop caught my eye. I went in and thus became +acquainted with the family Tetar, consisting of an old father and his +two daughters. They were exceedingly friendly and allowed me to try all +the violins they had. At last I chose a little "Mirecourt" with a very +nice tone, which I hired and subsequently bought. + +In time Monsieur Tetar became very talkative, and even offered to play +accompaniments for me. He had an organ in a large room above the shop +cram full of old instruments, but in the end he seemed to think it might +show a want of respect to Madame his late wife (now dead two years), so +the accompanying never came off. For the same reason his daughter, who +he said "in the times" had played the violin well, had never touched her +instrument since the funeral. + + * * * * * + +There was one special song we heard very often rising up from the Cafe +Chantant, in the room at the dug-out. When I went round there to have +supper with them we listened to it entranced. It was a priceless tune, +very catching and with lots of go; I can hear it now. I was determined +to try and get a copy, and went to see Monsieur Tetar about it one day. +I told him we did not know the name, but this was the tune and hummed it +accordingly. A French Officer looking over some music in a corner +became convulsed and hurriedly ducked his head into the pages, and I +began to wonder if it was quite the thing to ask for. + +Monsieur Tetar appeared to be somewhat scandalized, and exclaimed, "I +know it, Mademoiselle, that song calls itself _Marie-Margot la +Cantiniere_, but it is, let me assure you, of a certainty not for the +young girls!" No persuasion on my part could produce it, so our +acquaintance with the fair _Marie-Margot_ went no further than the tune. + +The extreme gratitude of the patients was very touching. When they left +for Convalescent homes, other Hospitals, or to return to the trenches, +we received shoals of post cards and letters of thanks. When they came +on leave they never failed to come back and look up the particular +_Miske_ who had tended them, and as often as not brought a souvenir of +some sort from _la bas_. + +One man to whom I had sent a parcel wrote me the following letter. I +might add that in Hospital he knew no English at all and had taught +himself in the trenches from a dictionary. This was his letter: + + "My lady" (Madame), "The beautiful package is safely + arrived. I thank you profoundly from all my heart. The shawl + (muffler) is at my neck and the good socks are at my feet as + I write. Like that one has well warmth. + + "We go to make some cafe also out of the package, this + evening in our house in the trenches, for which I thank you + again one thousand times. + + "Receive, my lady, the most distinguished sentiments on the + part of your devoted + + "JEAN PROMPLER, + "1st Batt. Infanterie, + "12th line Regiment." + + +I remember my first joy-ride so well. "Uncle" took Porter and myself up +to St. Inglevert with some stores for our small convalescent home, of +which more anon. + +Before proceeding further, I must here explain who "Uncle" was. He +joined the Corps in 1914 in response to an advertisement from us in the +_Times_ for a driver and ambulance, and was accepted immediately. He was +over military age, and had had his Mors car converted into an ambulance +for work at the front, and went up to Headquarters one day to make final +arrangements. There, to his intense surprise, he discovered that the +"First Aid Nursing Yeomanry" was a woman's, and not a man's show as he +had at first supposed. + +He was so amused he laughed all the way down the Earls Court Road! + +He bought his own petrol from the Belgian _Parc d'Automobiles_, and, +when he was not driving wounded, took as many of the staff for joy-rides +as he could. + +The blow in the fresh air was appreciated by us perhaps more than he +knew, especially after a hard morning in the typhoid wards. + +The day in question was bright and fine and the air, when once we had +left the town and passed the inevitable barriers, was clear and +invigorating, like champagne. We soon arrived at St. Inglevert, which +consisted of a little Church, an _Estaminet_, one or two cottages, the +_cure's_ house, and a little farm with parish room attached. The latter +was now used as a convalescent home for our typhoid patients until they +were strong enough to take the long journey to the big camp in the South +of France. The home was run by two of the F.A.N.Y.s for a fortnight at a +time. It was no uncommon sight to see them on the roads taking the +patients out "in crocodile" for their daily walk! Many were the curious +glances cast from the occupants of passing cars at the two khaki-clad +English girls, walking behind a string of sick-looking men in uniform. +Probably they drove on feeling it was another of the unsolved mysteries +of the war! + +We found Bunny struggling with the stove in the tiny kitchen, where she +soon coaxed the kettle to boil and gave us a cup of tea. Before our +return journey to Hospital we were introduced to the Cure of St. +Inglevert, who was half Irish and half French. He spoke English well and +gave a great deal of assistance in running the home, besides being both +witty and amusing. + +We visited the men who were having tea in their "refectory" under +Cicely's supervision, and once more returned to work at Lamarck. + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +TYPHOIDS AGAIN, AND PARIS IN 1915 + + +I was on night duty once more in the typhoid wards with Sister Moring +when we had our third bad Zeppelin raid, which was described in the +papers as "the biggest attempted since the beginning of the war." It +certainly was a wonderful sight. + +The tocsin was rung in the _Place d'Armes_ about 11.30 p.m. followed by +heavy gunfire from our now more numerous defences. Almost simultaneously +bomb explosions could be heard. We hastily wrapped up what patients were +well enough to move, and the orderlies carried them to the "cave." +Returning across the yard one of them called out that there were three +Zeppelins this time, but though the searchlights were playing, we saw no +sign of them, and presently the "all clear" was sounded. + +We had just got the patients from the _cave_ back into bed again when +half an hour later a second alarm was heard. Our feelings on hearing +this could only be described as "terse," a favourite F.A.N.Y. +expression. If only the brutes would leave Hospitals alone instead of +upsetting the patients like this. + +The sky presented a wonderful spectacle. Half a dozen searchlights were +playing, and shells were continually bursting in mid-air with a dull +roar. On our way back from the _cave_ where we had again deposited the +patients, the searchlights suddenly focussed all three Zeppelins. There +they were like huge silver cigars gleaming against the stars. They +looked so splendid I couldn't help wishing I was up in one. It seemed +impossible to connect death-dealing bombs with those floating silver +shapes. Shrapnel burst all round them, and then the Zepps. seemed +suddenly to become alive, and they answered with machine guns, and the +patter of bullets and shrapnel could be heard all around. The Commander +of one of the Zepps. apparently fearing his airship might be hit, must +have given the order for all the bombs to be heaved overboard at once, +for suddenly twenty-one fell simultaneously! You can imagine what a +sight it was to see those golden balls of fire falling through the air +from the silver airship. They fell in a field just outside the town near +a little village called _Les Barraques_, the total bag being five cows! + +In spite of the three Zeppelins the Huns only succeeded in killing a +baby and an old lady. At last they were successfully driven off, and we +settled down hoping our excitements were over for the night, but no, at +3.30 a.m. the tocsin again rang out a third alarm! This was getting +beyond a joke. The air duel recommenced, bombs were dropped, but +fortunately no serious casualties occurred. Luckily at that time none of +the patients were in a serious condition, so we felt that for once the +Hun had been fairly considerate. It was surprising to find the +comparatively little damage the town had suffered. We had several others +after this, but they are not worth recording here. + +One patient we had at that time was a Dutchman who had joined the +Belgian Army in 1914. He was a very droll fellow, and told me he was the +clown at one of the Antwerp Theatres and kept the people amused while +the scenes were being changed. I can quite believe this, for shouts of +laughter could always be heard in his vicinity. He was very good at +imitating animals, and I discovered later that among other +accomplishments he was also a ventriloquist. Sister and I, when the +necessary feeds had been given, used to sit in two deck chairs with a +screen shading the light, near the stove in the middle ward, until the +next were due. One night I heard a cat mewing. It seemed to be almost +under my chair, I got up and looked everywhere. Yes, there it was again, +but this time coming from under one of the men's beds. It was a piteous +mew, and I was determined to find it. I spent a quarter of an hour on +tiptoe looking everywhere. It was not till I heard a stifled chuckle +from the bed next the Dutchman's that I suspected anything, and then, +determined they should get no rise out of me, sat down quietly in my +chair again. Though that cat mewed for the next ten minutes I never +turned an eyelash! + +I liked night duty very much, there was something exhilarating about it, +probably because I was new to it, and probably also because I slept like +a top in the daytime (when I didn't get up, breathe it quietly, to steal +out for rides on the sands!). I liked the walk across the yard with the +gaunt old Cathedral showing black against the purple sky, its poor East +window now tied up with sacking. + +One night about 1 a.m. I came in from supper in my flat soft felt +slippers, and from sheer joy of living executed, quite noiselessly, a +few steps for Sister's benefit down the middle of the Ward! It was a +great temptation, and needless to say not appreciated by Sister as much +as I had hoped. I heard subdued clapping from the clown's bed, and there +was the wretch wide awake (he was not unlike Morton to look at), sitting +up in bed and grinning with joy! + +The next morning as I was going off duty he called me over to him. "_He, +Miske Kinike_," he said, in his funny half Dutch, half Flemish, "if +after the war you desire something to do I will arrange that you appear +with me before the curtain goes up, at the Antwerp Theatre!" He made the +offer in all seriousness, and realizing this, I replied I would +certainly think the proposition over, and fled across to have breakfast +and tell them my future had been arranged for most suitably. + +The rolls, the long French kind, were brought each morning in "Flossie," +by the day staff on their way up from the "shop" referred to in a +F.A.N.Y. alphabet as + + "R's for the 'Roll-call'"--a terrible fag-- + "Fetching six yards of bread, done up in a bag!" + +The other meals were provided by the Belgians and supplemented to a +great extent by us. I am quite convinced we often ate good old horse. +One day, when prowling round the shops to get something fresh for the +night staff's supper, I went into a butcher's. The good lady came +forward to ask me what I wished. I told her; and she smiled agreeably, +saying, "Impossible, Mademoiselle, since long time we have only horse +here for sale!" I got out of that shop with speed. + +The orderlies on night duty, on the surgical side, were a lazy lot and +slept the whole night through, more often than not on the floor of the +kitchen. One night the incomparable "Jefke," who was worse than most, +was fast asleep in a dark spot near the big stove, when I went to get +some hot water. He was practically invisible, so I narrowly missed +stepping on his head, and, as it was, collapsed over him, breaking the +tea-pot. Cicely, the ever witty, quickly parodied one of the "Ruthless +Rhymes," and said:-- + + "Pat who trod on Jefke's face + (He was fast asleep, so let her,) + Put the pieces back in place, + Saying, 'Don't you think he looks _much_ better'?" + +(I can't vouch for the truth of the last line.) + +One day when up at the front we attended part of a concert given by the +Observation Balloon Section in a barn, candles stuck in bottles the only +illuminations; we were however obliged to leave early to go on to the +trenches. Outside in the moonlight, which was almost as light as day, we +found the men busy sharpening their bayonets. + +Another day up at Bourbourg, where we had gone for a ride, on a precious +afternoon off, we saw the first camouflaged field hospital run by +Millicent, Duchess of Sutherland, for the Belgians--the tents were weird +and wonderful to behold, and certainly defied detection from a distance. + +Heasy and I were walking down the _Rue_ one afternoon, which was the +Bond Street of this town, when the private detective aforementioned came +up and asked to see our identification cards. These we were always +supposed to carry about with us wherever we went. Besides the hospital +stamp and several others, it contained a passport photo and signature. +Of course we had left them in another pocket, and in spite of +protestations on our part we were requested to proceed to the citadel or +return to hospital to be identified. To our mortification we were +followed at a few yards by the detective and a soldier! Never have I +felt such an inclination to take to my heels. As luck would have it, tea +was in progress in the top room, and they all came down _en masse_ to +see the two "spies." The only comfort we got, as they all talked and +laughed at our expense, was to hear one of the detectives softly +murmuring to himself, "Has anyone heard of the Suffragette movement +here?" + +We learnt later that Boche spies disguised in our uniform had been seen +in the vicinity of the trenches. That the Boche took an interest in our +Corps we knew, for, in pre-war days, we had continually received +applications from German girls who wished to become members. Needless to +say they were never accepted. + +The first English troops began to filter into the town about this time, +and important "red hats" with brassards bearing the device "L. of C." +walked about the place as if indeed they had bought every stone. + +Great were our surmises as to what "L. of C." actually stood for, one +suggestion being "Lords of Creation," and another, "Lords of Calais"! It +was comparatively disappointing to find out it only stood for "Lines of +Communication." + +English people have a strange manner of treating their compatriots when +they meet in a foreign country. You would imagine that under the +circumstances they would waive ceremony and greet one another in +passing, but no, such is not the case. If they happen to pass in the +same street they either look haughtily at each other, with apparently +the utmost dislike, or else they gaze ahead with unseeing eyes. + +We rather resented this "invasion," as we called it, and felt we could +no longer flit freely across the Place d'Armes in caps and aprons as +heretofore. + +In June of 1915, my first leave, after six months' work, was due. +Instead of going to England I went to friends in Paris. The journey was +an adventure in itself and took fourteen hours, a distance that in peace +time takes four or five. We stopped at every station and very often in +between. When this occurred, heads appeared at every window to find out +the reason. _"Qu' est ce qu'il y'a?"_ everyone cried at once. It was +invariably either that a troop train was passing up the line and we must +wait for it to go by, or else part of the engine had fallen off. In the +case of the former, the train was looked for with breathless interest +and handkerchiefs waved frantically, to be used later to wipe away a +furtive tear for those _brave poilus_ or "Tommees" who were going to +fight for _la belle France_ and might never return. + +If it was the engine that collapsed, the passengers, with a resigned +expression, returned to their seats, saying placidly: "_C'est la +guerre, que voulez-vous_," and no one grumbled or made any other +comment. With a grunt and a snort we moved on again, only to stop a +little further up the line. I came to the conclusion that that rotten +engine must be tied together with string. No one seemed to mind or +worry. "He will arrive" they said optimistically, and talked of other +things. At every station fascinating-looking _infirmieres_ from the +French Red Cross, clad in white from top to toe, stepped into the +carriage jingling little white tin boxes. "_Messieurs, Mesdames, pour +les blesses, s'il vous plait_,"[8] they begged, and everyone fumbled +without a murmur in their pockets. I began with 5 francs, but by the +time I'd reached Paris I was giving ha' pennies. + +At Amiens a dainty Parisienne stepped into the compartment. She was clad +in a navy blue _tailleur_ with a very smart pair of high navy blue kid +boots and small navy blue silk hat. The other occupants of the carriage +consisted of a well-to-do old gentleman in mufti, who, I decided, was a +_commercant de vin_, and two French officers, very spick and span, +obviously going on leave. _La petite dame bien mise_, as I christened +her, sat in the opposite corner to me, and the following conversation +took place. I give it in English to save translation: + +After a little general conversation between the officers and the old +_commercant_ the latter suddenly burst out with:--"Ha, what I would like +well to know is, do the Scotch soldiers wear the _pantalons_ or do they +not?" Everyone became instantly alert. I could see _la petite dame bien +mise_ was dying to say something. The two French officers addressed +shrugged their shoulders expressive of ignorance in the matter. After +further discussion, unable to contain herself any longer, _la petite +dame_ leant forward and addressing herself to the _commercant_, said, +"Monsieur, I assure you that they do _not_!" + +The whole carriage "sat up and took notice," and the old _commercant_, +shaking his finger at her said: + +"Madame, if you will permit me to ask, that is, if it is not indiscreet, +how is it that you are in a position to know?" + +The officers were enjoying themselves immensely. _La petite dame_ +hastened to explain. "Monsieur, it is that my window at Amiens she +overlooks the ground where these Scotch ones play the football, and then +a good little puff of wind and one sees, but of course," she concluded +virtuously, "I have not regarded, Monsieur." + +They all roared delightedly, and the old _commercant_ said something to +the effect of not believing a word. "Be quiet, Monsieur, I pray of you," +she entreated, "there is an English young girl in the corner and she +will of a certainty be shocked." "_Bah, non_," replied the old +_commercant_, "the English never understand much of any language but +their own" (I hid discreetly behind my paper). + +As we neared Paris there was another stop before the train went over the +temporary bridge that had been erected over the Oise. We could still see +the other that had been blown up by the French in order to stem the +German advance on Paris in August 1914. This shattered bridge brought it +home to me how very near to Paris the Boche had been. + +As I stepped out of the Gare du Nord all the people were looking +skywards at two Taubes which had just dropped several bombs. Some +welcome, I thought to myself! + +Paris in War time at that period (June, 1915) wore rather the +appearance of a deserted city. Every third shop had notices on the doors +to the effect that the owners were absent at the war. Others were being +run by the old fathers and mothers long since retired, who had come up +from the country to "carry on." My friend told me that when she had +returned to Paris in haste from the country, at the beginning of the +war, there was not a taxi available, as they were all being used to rush +the soldiers out to the battle of the Marne. Fancy taxi-ing to a +battlefield! + +The Parisians were very interested to see a girl dressed in khaki, and +discussed each item of my uniform in the Metro quite loudly, evidently +under the same impression as the old _commercant_! My field boots took +their fancy most. _"Mon Dieu!"_ they would exclaim. "Look then, she +wears the big boots like a man. It is _chic_ that, hein?" + +In one place, an old curiosity shop in the Quartier St. Germain, the +woman was so thrilled to hear I was an _infirmiere_ she insisted on me +keeping an old Roman lamp I was looking at as a souvenir, because her +mother had been one in 1870. War has its compensations. + +I also discovered a Monsieur Jollivet at Neuilly, a job-master who had a +few horses left, among them a little English mare which I rode. We went +in the Bois nearly every morning and sometimes along the race course at +Longchamps, the latter very overgrown. "Ah, Mademoiselle," he would +exclaim, "if it was only in the ordinary times, how different would all +this look, and how Mademoiselle would amuse herself at the races!" + +One day walking along near the "Observatoire" an old nun stopped me, and +in broken English asked how the war was progressing. (The people in the +shops did too, as if I had come straight from G.H.Q.!) She then went on +to tell me that she was Scotch, but had never been home for thirty-five +years! I could hardly believe it, as she talked English just as a +Frenchwoman might. She knew nothing at all as to the true position of +affairs, and asked me to come in to the Convent to tea one day, which I +did. + +They all clustered round me when I went, asking if I had met their +relation so-and-so, who was fighting at the front. They were frightfully +disappointed when I said "No, I had not." + +I went to their little chapel afterwards, and later on, the Reverend +Mother, who was so old she had to be supported on each side by two nuns, +came to a window and gave me her blessing. My Scotch friend before I +left pressed a little oxidized silver medal of the Virgin into my hand, +which she assured me would keep me in safety. I treasured it after that +as a sort of charm and always had it with me. + +A few days later I was introduced to Warneford, V.C., the man who had +brought down the first Zeppelin. He had just come to Paris to receive +the _Legion d'Honneur_ and the _Croix de Guerre_, and was being feted +and spoilt by everybody. He promised towards the end of the week, when +he had worked off some of his engagements, to take me up--strictly +against all rules of course--for a short flight. I met him on the +Monday, I think, and on the Wednesday he crashed while making a trial +flight, and died after from his injuries, in hospital. It seemed +impossible to believe when first I heard of it--he was so full of life +and high spirits. + +We went to Versailles one day. The loneliness and general air of +desertion that overhang the place seemed more intensified by the war +than ever. The grass had grown very long, the air was sultry, and not a +ripple stirred the calm surface of the lake. It seemed somehow very like +the Palace of a Sleeping Beauty. I wondered if the ghost of Marie +Antoinette ever revisited the Trianon or flitted up and down the wooden +steps of the miniature farm where she had played at being a dairymaid? + +As we wended our way back in the evening, the incessant croaking of the +frogs in the big lake was the only sound that broke the stillness. There +was something sinister about it as if they were croaking "We are the +only creatures who now live in this beautiful place, and it is we, with +our ugly voices and bodies, who have triumphed over the beautiful vain +ladies who threw pebbles at us long ago from the terraces."--We turned +away, and the croaking seemed to become more triumphant and echoed in +our ears long after we had left the vicinity. + +At night, in Paris, aeroplanes flew round and round the city on scout +duty switching on lights at intervals that made them look like +travelling stars. They often woke one up, and the noise of the engines +was so loud it seemed sometimes as if they must fly straight through +one's window. I used to love to get up early and go down to "Les +Halles," the French Covent Garden, and come back with literally armfuls +of roses of all shades of delicate pink, white, and cream. Tante Rose +(the only name I ever knew her by) was a widow, and the aunt of my +friend. She was one of the _vieille noblesse_ and had a charming house +in Passy, and was as interesting to listen to as a book. She asked me +one day if I would care to go with her to a Memorial Service at the +_Sacre-Coeur_. Looking out of her windows we could see the church +dominating Paris from the heights of Montmartre, the mosque-like +appearance of its architecture gleaming white against the sky. + +At that moment the dying rays of the sun lit up the golden cross +surmounting it, and presently the whole building became a delicate rose +pink and seemed almost to float above the city, all blue in the haze of +the evening below. It was wonderful, and a picture I shall always carry +in my mind. I replied I would love to go, and on the following day we +toiled up the dazzling white steps. The service was, I think, the most +impressive I have ever attended. Crowds flocked to it, all or nearly all +in that uniform of deep-mourning incomparably _chic_, incomparably +French, and gaining daily in popularity. Long before the service began +the place was packed to suffocation. Tante Rose looked proudly round and +whispered to me, "Ah, my little one, you see here those who have given +their all for France." Indeed it seemed so on looking round at those +white-faced women; and how I wished that _some_ of the people in +England, who had not been touched by the war, or who at that time (June, +1915) hardly realized there even was one, could have been present. + +During another visit to Tante Rose's I heard the following story from an +_infirmiere_. A wounded German was brought to one of the French +hospitals. In the bed adjoining lay a Zouave who had had his leg +amputated. The Boche asked for a drink of hot water, the hottest +obtainable. When the Nurse brought it to him he took the glass, and +without a word threw the scalding contents in her face! The Zouave who +had witnessed this brutal act, with a snarl of rage, leapt from his bed +on to the German's and throttled him to death there and then. The other +_blesses_ sat up in bed and cheered. "It is thus," she continued calmly, +"that our brave soldiers avenge us from these brutes." I looked at her +as she sat there so dainty in her white uniform, quite undismayed by +what had taken place. It was just another of those little incidents that +go to show the spirit of the French nation. + +Some American friends of mine took me over their hospital for French +soldiers at Neuilly. It was most beautifully equipped from top to +bottom, and I was especially interested in the dental department where +they fitted men with false jaws, etc. Every comfort was provided, and +some of the patients were lying out on balconies under large umbrellas, +smiling happily at all who passed. I sighed when I thought of the +makeshifts we had _la bas_ at Lamarck. + +I also went to a sort of review held in the Bois of an _Ambulance +Volant_ (ambulance unit to accompany a Battalion), given and driven by +Americans. They also had a field operating theatre. These drivers were +all voluntary workers, and were Yale and Harvard men who had come over +to see what the "show" was really like. Some of them later joined the +French Army, and one the famous "Foreign Legion," and others went back +to the U.S.A. to make shells. + +It was very interesting to hear about the "Foreign Legion." In peace +time most of the people who join it are either fleeing from justice, or +they have no more interest in life and don't care what becomes of them. +It is composed of dare-devils of all nationalities, and the discipline +is of the severest. They are therefore among the most fearless fighters +in the world, and always put in a tight place on the French front. There +is one man at the enlisting depot[9] who is a wonderful being, and can size +up a new recruit at a glance. He is known as "Le Sphinx." You must give +him your real name and reason for joining the Legion, and in exchange he +gives you a number by which henceforth you are known. He knows the +secrets of all the Legion, and they are never divulged to a living soul; +he never forgets, nor do they ever pass his lips. One of the most +cherished souvenirs I have is a plain brass button with the inscription +"Legion Etrangere" printed round it in raised letters. + +As early as June, 1915, the French were showing what relics they had +brought back from the battlefields. No better place than the +"Invalides," with Napoleon's tomb towering above, could have been chosen +for their display. Part of the courtyard was taken up by captured guns, +and in two separate corners a "Taube," and a German scout machine, with +black crosses on their wings, were tethered like captured birds. There +the widows, leading their little sons by the hand, came dry-eyed to show +young France what their fathers had died in capturing for the glory of +_La Patrie_. + +"Dost thou know, Maman," I heard one mite saying, "I would like well to +mount astride that cannon there," indicating a huge 7.4, but the woman +only smiled the saddest smile I have ever seen, and drew him over to +gaze at the silvery remains of the Zeppelin that had been brought down +on the Marne. + +The rooms leading off the corridors above were all filled with souvenirs +and helmets, and in another, the captured flags of some of the most +famous Prussian Regiments were spread out in all their glory of gold and +silver embroideries and tassels. + +We went on to see Napoleon's tomb, which made an impression on me which +I shall never forget. The sun was just in the right quarter. As we +entered the building, the ante-room seemed purposely darkened to form +the most complete contrast with the inner; where the sun, streaming +through the wonderful glass windows, shone with a steady shaft of blue +light, almost ethereal in colouring, down into the tomb where the great +Emperor slept. + + + + +CHAPTER X + +CONCERNING A CONCERT, CANTEEN WORK, HOUSEKEEPING, THE ENGLISH CONVOY, +AND GOOD-BYE LAMARCK + + +When I returned to the hospital the "English Invasion" of the town was +an accomplished fact, and the Casino had been taken over as a hospital +for our men. In the rush after Festubert, we were very proud to be +called upon to assist for the time-being in transporting wounded, as the +British Red Cross ambulances had more than they could cope with. This +was the first official driving we did and was to lead to greater things. + +The heat that summer was terrific, so five of us clubbed together and +rented a Chalet on the beach, which was christened _The Filbert_. We +bathed in our off time (when the jelly fish permitted, for, whenever it +got extra warm, a whole plague of them infested the sea, and hot vinegar +was the only cure for their stinging bites; of course we only found this +out well on into the jelly-fish season!). We gave tea parties and supper +parties there, weather and work permitting, and it proved the greatest +boon to us after long hours in hospital. + +As we were never free to use it in the morning we lent it to some +friends, and one day a fearful catastrophe happened. Fresh water was as +hard to get as in a desert, and the only way to procure any was to bribe +French urchins to carry it in large tin jugs from a spring near the +Casino. These people, one of whom was the big Englishman, after running +up from the sea used the water they saw in the jugs to wash the sand off +(after all, quite a natural proceeding) and then, in all ignorance of +their fearful crime, virtuously filled them up again, _but_ from the +sea! + +That afternoon Lowson happened to be giving a rather swell and +diplomatic tea party. Gaily she filled the kettle and set it on the +stove and then made the tea. The Matron of the hospital took a sip and +the Colonel ditto, and then they both put their cups down--(I was not +present, but as _my_ friends committed the crime, you may be sure I +heard all about it, and feel as if I had been). Of course the generally +numerous French urchins were nowhere in sight, and everyone went home +from that salt-water tea party with a terrible thirst! + +A Remount Camp was established at Fort Neuillay. It was an interesting +fact that the last time the fort had been used was by English troops +when that part of the coast was ours. One of the officers there +possessed a beagle called "Flanders." She was one of the survivors of +that famous pack taken over in 1914 that so staggered our allies. One +glorious "half-day" off duty, riding across some fields we started a +beautiful hare. Besides "Flanders" there was a terrier and a French dog +of uncertain breed, and in two seconds the "pack" was in full cry after +"puss," who gave us the run of our lives. Unfortunately the hunt did not +end there, as some French farmers, not accustomed to the rare sight of +half a couple and two mongrels hot after a hare scudding across their +fields, lodged a complaint! When the owner of the beagle was called up +by the Colonel for an explanation he explained himself in this wise. + +"It was like this, Sir, the beagle got away after the hare, and we +thought it best to follow up to bring her back. You see, Sir, don't +you?" + +"Yes, I _do_ see," said the Colonel, with a twinkle. "Well, don't let it +happen again, or she must be destroyed." + +A Y.M.C.A. was also established, and Mr. Sitters, the organiser, begged +us to get up a concert party and amuse the men. In those days Lena +Ashwell's parties were quite unknown, and the men often had to rely on +themselves for entertainment. Our free time was very precious, and we +were often so tired it was a great undertaking to organise rehearsals, +but this Sergt. Wicks did, and very soon we had quite a good show going. + +One day Mr. Sitters obtained passes for us to go far up into the English +lines, and for days beforehand rehearsals were held in the oddest +places.[10] Up to the last minute we were on duty in the wards, and all +those who could gave a helping hand to get us off--seven in all, as +more could not be spared. It was pouring with rain, but we did not mind. +We had had such a rush to get ready and collect such properties as we +needed that, as often happens on these occasions, we were all in the +highest spirits and the show was bound to go well. + +We sped along in the ambulance, "Uncle" driving, and picking up Mr. +Sitters _en route_. Our only pauses were at the barriers of the town, +and on we went again. We had been doing a good 35 and had slowed up to +pass some vehicles going over a bridge, when the pin came out of the +steering rod. If we had not slowed up I can't imagine there would have +been much of the concert party left to perform! + +We pulled up and began to look for it, hoping, as it had just happened, +we might see it lying on the road. Luckily for us at that moment an +English officer drove up and stopped to see if he could be of any help. +He heard where we were bound for, and, as time was getting on, instantly +suggested we should borrow his car and driver and he would wait until it +came back. Mr. Sitters was only too delighted to accept the offer as it +was getting so late. + +He suggested that four of us should get into the officer's car and go +ahead with him and begin the show, leaving the others to follow. We were +a little dubious as our Lieutenant, Sister Lampen, and "Auntie" (the +Matron) were over the brow of the hill searching for the missing pin! +There seemed nothing else to be done, however, so in we all bundled. +The officer was very sporting and wished us "good luck" as we sped off +in his car. + +Farther along, as we got nearer the front, all the sentries were English +which seemed very strange to us. Passing through a village where a lot +of our troops were billeted they gazed in wonder and amazement at the +sight of English girls in that district. + +One incident we thought specially funny--It may not seem particularly so +now, but when you think that for months past we had only had dealings +with French and Belgian soldiers, you will understand how it amused us. +Outside an _Estaminet_ was a horse and cart partly across the road, and +just sufficiently blocking it. The driver called out to a Tommy lounging +outside the Inn to pull it over a little. He gave a truly British grunt, +and went to the horse's head. Nothing happened for some seconds, and we +waited impatiently. Presently he reappeared. + +"Tied oop," he said laconically, in a broad north country accent, and +washed his hands of the matter. How we laughed. Of course a Frenchman +would have made the most elaborate apologies and explanations--a long +conversation would have ensued, and finally salutes and bows exchanged, +before we could have got on. "Tied oop" became quite a saying after +that. + +A F.A.N.Y. eventually coped with the matter, and on we went again. At +last we espied some tents in the distance and struck off down a rutty +lane in their direction. Here we said "good-bye" to our driver +wondering if the other car did not turn up, just how we should get home. +We plunged through mud that came well over the tops of our boots and, +scrambling along some slippery duck boarding, arrived at the recreation +tent. No sign of the other car, so we were obliged to draft out a fresh +programme in the meantime. + +We took off our heavy coats while two batmen used the back of their +clasp knives to scrape off the first layers of mud (hardly the most +attractive footlight wear) from our boots. We heard the M.C. announcing +that the "Concert party" had arrived, and through holes in the canvas we +could see the tent was full to overflowing. Cheers greeted the +announcement, and we shivered with fright. There were hundreds there, +and they had been patiently waiting for hours, singing choruses to pass +the time. + +As we crawled through the canvas at the back of the stage they cheered +us to the echo. The platform was about the size of a dining table, which +rather cramped our style. We always began our shows with a topical song, +each taking a verse in turn, and then all singing the chorus. Towards +the end of our first song the Lieutenant and the others arrived. The +guns boomed so loudly at times the words were quite drowned. The +Programme consisted of Recitations, Songs at the Piano, Solo Songs, +Choruses, Violin, etc.; and to my horror I found they counted on me to +do charcoal drawings, described out of courtesy as "Lightning +sketches!" (an art only developed and cultivated at the insistence of +Sergt. Wicks, who had once discovered me doing some in the wards to +amuse the men). There was nothing else for it, rolls of white paper were +produced and pinned on a table placed on end, and off I started. I first +drew them a typical Belgian officer with lots of Medals which brought +forth the remark that he "must have been through the South African +Campaign!" When I got to his boots, which I did with a good high light +down the centre, someone called out "Don't forget the Cherry Blossom +boot polish, Miss." "What price, _Kiwi_?" etc. When he was finished they +yelled "Souvenir, souvenir," so I handed it over amid great applause, +and felt full of courage! The Crown Prince went down very well and I was +grateful to him for having such a long nose. "We don't want him as no +souvenir," they called--"Wish we drew our pay as fast as you draw little +Willie, Miss." The Kaiser of course had his share, and in his first +stages, to their great joy, evidently resembled one of their officers! +(There's nothing Tommy enjoys quite so much as that.) + +After the "Nut" before the war (complete in Opera hat and monocle) and +"now" in khaki, I could think of nothing more, and boldly, but with some +trepidation, asked if any gentleman in the audience would care to be +drawn. You can imagine the scene. A tent packed with Tommies, every +available place taken up, and those who could not find seats sitting on +the floor right up to the edge of the stage. Yells of delight greeted +the invitation, and several made as if to come forward; finally, one +unfortunate was heaved up from the struggling mass on to the stage. I +always noticed after this that whenever I offered to draw anyone it was +always a man with absolutely _no_ particularly "salient" feature (I +think that is the term) who presented himself. This individual could +best be described as "sandy" in appearance, there was simply _nothing_ +about him to caricature, I thought in despair! The remarks from the +audience, which had been amusing before, now fairly bristled with wit, +mostly of a personal nature. My subject became hotter and hotter as I +seized the charcoal pencil and set off. "Wot _would_ Liza say?" called +out one in a horrified voice. "Don't smile, mate, yer might 'urt yer +fice," called another. "Take 'is temperature, Miss," they called, as the +perspiration began to roll off him in positive rivulets, and "_Don't_ +forget 'is auburn 'air," they implored. As the poor unfortunate had just +been shorn like a lamb, preparatory to going into the trenches, this was +particularly cutting. The remark, however, gave me an inspiration and +the audience yelled delightedly while I put a few black dots, very wide +apart, to indicate the shortage. When finished we shook hands to show +there was no ill feeling, and quite cheerfully, with the expression of a +hero, he bore his portrait off amid cheers from the men. + +The show ended with a song, _Sergeant Michael Cassidy_, which was +extremely popular at that time. For those who have not heard this +classic, it might be as well to give one or two verses. We each had our +own particular one, and then all sang the chorus. + + "You've heard of Michael Cassidy, a strapping Irish bhoy. + Who up and joined the Irish guards as Kitchener's pride and joy; + When on the march you'll hear them shout, 'Who's going to win the war?' + And this is what the khaki lads all answered with a roar: + +_Chorus_ + + "Cassidy, Sergeant Michael Cassidy, + He's of Irish nationality. + He's a lad of wonderful audacity, + Sergeant Michael Cassidy (bang), V.C." + +_Last Verse_ + + "Who was it met a dainty little Belgian refugee + And right behind the firing line, would take her on his knee? + Who was it, when she doubted him, got on his knees and swore + He'd love her for three years or the duration of the War?" + +_Chorus_, etc. + + +This was encored loudly, and someone called out for _Who's your lady +friend?_ As there were not any within miles excepting ourselves, and +certainly none in the audience, it was rather amusing. + +We plunged through the mud again after it was all over and were taken to +have coffee and sandwiches in the Mess. We were just in time to see some +of the men and wish them Good Luck, as they were being lined up +preparatory to going into the trenches. Poor souls, I felt glad we had +been able to do something to cheer them a little; and the guns, which we +had heard distinctly throughout the concert, now boomed away louder than +ever. + +We had a fairly long walk back from the Mess to where the Mors car had +been left owing to the mud, and at last we set off along the dark and +rutty road. + +One facetious French sentry insisted on talking English and flashing his +lantern into the back of the ambulance, saying, "But I _will_ see the +face of each Mees for fear of an espion." He did so, murmuring +"_jolie--pas mal--chic_," etc.! He finally left us, saying: "I am an +officer. Well, ladies, good-bye all!" We were convulsed, and off we slid +once more into the darkness and rain, without any lights, reaching home +about 12, after a very amusing evening. + +Soon after this, we started our "Pleasant Sunday Evenings," as we called +them, in the top room of the hospital, and there from 8 to 9.30 every +Sunday gave coffee and held impromptu concerts. They were a tremendous +success, and chiefly attended by the English. They were so popular we +were often at a loss for seats. Of real furniture there was very little. +It consisted mostly of packing cases covered with army blankets and +enormous _tumpties_ in the middle of the floor--these latter contained +the reserve store of blankets for the hospital, and excellent "pouffs" +they made. + +Our reputation of being able to turn our hands to anything resulted in +Mr. Sitters--rushing in during 10 o'clock tea one morning with the news +that two English divisions were going south from Ypres in a few days' +time, and the Y.M.C.A. had been asked by the Army to erect a temporary +canteen at a certain railhead during the six days they would take to +pass through. There were no lady helpers in those days, and he was at +his wits' end to know where to find the staff. Could any of us be +spared? None of us _could_, as we were understaffed already, but +Lieutenant Franklin put it to us and said if we were willing to +undertake the canteen, as well as our hospital work, which would mean an +average of only five hours sleep in the twenty-four--she had no +objection. There was no time to get fresh Y.M.C.A. workers from England +with the delay of passports, etc., and of course we decided to take it +on, only too pleased to have the chance to do something for our own men. +A shed was soon erected, the front part being left open facing the +railway lines, and counters were put up. The work, which went on night +and day, was planned out in shifts, and we were driven up to the siding +in Y.M.C.A. Fords or any of our own which could be spared. Trains came +through every hour averaging about 900 men on board. There was just time +in between the trains to wash the cups up and put out fresh buns and +chocolates. When one was in, there was naturally no time to wash the +cups up at all, and they were just used again as soon as they were +empty. Canteen work with a vengeance! The whole of the Highland +division passed through together with the 37th. They sat in cattle +trucks mostly, the few carriages there were being reserved for the +officers. It was amusing to notice that at first the men thought we were +French, so unaccustomed were they then to seeing any English girls out +there with the exception of army Sisters and V.A.D.s. + +"_Do chocolat, si voos play_," they would ask, and were speechless with +surprise when we replied sweetly: "Certainly, which kind will you have?" + +I asked one Scotchman during a pause, when the train was in for a longer +interval than usual, how he managed to make himself understood up the +line. "Och fine," he said, "it's not verra deefficult to _parley voo_. I +gang into one o' them Estaminays to ask for twa drinks, I say 'twa' and, +would you believe it, they always hand out three--good natured I call +that, but I hae to pay up all the same," he added! + +Naturally the French people thought he said _trois_. This story +subsequently appeared in print, I believe. + +One regiment had a goat, and Billy was let out for a walk and had +wandered rather far afield, when the train started to move on again. +Luckily those trains never went very fast, but it was a funny sight to +see two Tommies almost throttling the goat in their efforts to drag it +along, pursued by several F.A.N.Y.s (to make the pace), and give it a +final shove up into a truck! + +Towards the end of that week the entire staff became exceedingly short +tempered. The loss of sleep combined with hospital work probably +accounted for it; we even slept in the jolting cars on the way back. We +were more than repaid though, by the smiles of the Tommies and the +gratitude of the Y.M.C.A., who would have been unable to run the canteen +at all but for our help. + +It was at this period in our career we definitely became known as the +"F.A.N.N.Y.s"--"F.A.N.Y.," spelt the passing Tommy--"FANNY," "I wonder +what that stands for?" + +"First anywhere," suggested one, which was not a bad effort, we thought! + +The following is an extract from an account by Mr. Beach Thomas in a +leading daily: + +"Our Yeomanry nurses who, among other work, drive, clean, and manage +their own ambulance cars, are dressed in khaki. Their skirts are short, +their hats (some say their feet), are large! (this we thought hardly +kind). They have done prodigies along the Belgian front. One of their +latest activities has been to devise and work a peripatetic bath. By +ingenious contrivances, tents, and ten collapsible baths, are packed +into a motor car which circulates behind the lines. The water is heated +by the engine in a cistern in the interior of the car and offers the +luxury of a hot bath to several score men." + +This was our famous motor bath called "James," and belonging to "Jimmy" +Gamwell. She saw to the heating of the water and the putting up of the +baths, with their canvas screens sloping from the roof of the ambulance +and so forming at each side a bathroom annexe. A sergeant marshalled the +soldiers in at one end and in about ten minutes' time they emerged +clean, rosy, and smiling at the other! + +The article continued: "These women have run a considerable hospital and +its ambulances entirely by themselves. The work has been voluntary. By +doing their own household work, by feeding themselves at their own +expense (except for a few supplementary Belgian Army rations), by +driving and cleaning their own cars, they have made such a success on +the economical side that the money laboriously collected in England has +all been spent on the direct service of the wounded, and not on +establishment charges." + +A Soup Kitchen brought out by Betty also belonged to our hospital +equipment. It did excellent work down at the Gare Centrale, providing +the wounded with hot soup on their arrival. Great was our excitement +when it was commissioned by a battery up the line. Betty and Lewis set +off in high spirits, and had the most thrilling escapes and adventures +in the Ypres section that would alone fill a book. They were with the +Battery in the early summer when the first gas attack swept over, and +caught them at "Hell fire Corner" on the Ypres-Menin road. It was they +who improvised temporary masks for the men from wads of cotton wool and +lint soaked in carbolic. Luckily they were not near enough to be +seriously gassed, but for months after they both felt the after +effects. Even where we were, we noticed the funny sulphurous smell in +the air which seemed to catch one with a tight sensation in the throat, +and the taste of sulphur was also perceptible on one's lips. We were to +have taken turns with the kitchen, but owing to this episode the +authorities considered the work too dangerous, and after being +complimented on their behaviour they returned to Lamarck. + +We had a lot of daylight Taube raids, Zeppelins for the moment confining +all their efforts to England. It was fascinating to watch the little +round white balls, like baby clouds, where the shrapnel burst in its +efforts to bring the marauders down. + +Very few casualties resulted from these raids and we rather enjoyed +them. One that fell on the Quay killed an old white horse; and a French +sailor found the handle of the bomb among the shrapnel near by and +presented it to me. It seemed odd to think that such a short while +before it had been in the hands of a Boche. + +Jan was a patient we had who had entirely lost his speech and memory. We +could get nothing out of him but an expressive shrug of the shoulders +and a smile. He was a good looking Belgian of about twenty-four; and it +was my duty to take him out by the arm for a short walk each morning to +try and reawaken his interest in life. + +One day I saw the French Governor of the town coming along on horseback +followed by his _ordnance_ (groom). How could I make Jan salute, I +wondered? I knew the General was very particular about such things, and +to all appearance Jan was a normal looking individual. "_Faut saluer le +General_, Jan," I said, while he was still some distance away, but Jan +only shrugged his shoulders as much as to say, "I might do it, but on +the other hand I might not!" What was I to do? As we drew nearer I again +implored Jan to salute. He shrugged his shoulders, so in desperation, +just as we came abreast I put my arm behind him and seizing his, brought +it up to the salute! The General, whom I knew, seemed fearfully amused +as he returned it, and the next time we met he asked me if I was in the +habit of going for a walk arm in arm with Belgian soldiers, who had to +be made to salute in such a fashion? + +One day we saw an aeroplane falling. At first it was hard to believe it +was not doing some patent stunt. Instead of coming down plumb as one +would imagine, it fell first this way and then that, like a piece of +paper fluttering down from a window. As it got nearer the earth though +where the currents of air were not so powerful, it plunged straight +downwards. Crowds witnessed the descent, and ran to the spot where it +had fallen. + +Greatly to their surprise the pilot was unhurt and the machine hardly +damaged at all. It had fallen just into the sea, and its wings were +keeping it afloat. The pilot was brought ashore in a boat, and when the +tide went down a cordon of guards was placed round the machine till it +was removed. + +Bridget, our former housekeeper at the hospital, went home to England in +the autumn for a rest and I was asked to take on her job. I moved to the +hospital and slept in the top room, behind our sitting-room, together +with the chauffeurs and Lieutenant Franklin. + +I had to see that breakfast was all right, and at 7.30 lay the table in +the big kitchen, get the jam out of our store cupboard, make the tea, +etc. Breakfast over, I had the top room to sweep and dust, the beds to +make, the linen to put out to air, and when that was done it was time to +get "10 o'clocks" ready. After that I sallied forth armed with a big +basket, a fat purse and a long list, and thoroughly enjoyed myself in +the market. + +In the afternoons there were always stacks of hospital mending to do, +and then tea to get ready. Sometimes as many as twelve people--French, +Belgian, or English--used to drop in, and it was no easy task to keep +that teapot going; however it was always done somehow. Luckily we had a +gas-ring, as it would have been an impossibility to run up and down the +sixty-nine steps to the kitchen every time we wanted more hot water. + +At six the housekeeper had to prepare the evening meal for 7.30, and the +Flemish cooks looked on with great amusement at my concoctions--a lot of +it was tinned stuff, so the cooking required was of the simplest. They +always cooked the potatoes for me out of the kindness of their hearts. +The reason they did not do the whole thing was that they were really +off duty at six, but one of them usually stayed behind and helped. + +Work at that time began to slacken off considerably.--A large hut +hospital for typhoids was built and the casualties diminished, partly +because most of the Belgians had already been killed or wounded, and +partly because the remaining few had not much fighting to do except hold +the line behind the inundations. A faint murmur reached us that a +comb-out was going to take place among the British Red Cross Ambulance +drivers, and we wondered who would replace them if they were sent up the +line. + +The anniversary of the opening of Lamarck hospital took place on the +31st October, 1915, and we had a tremendous gathering, French, English, +and Belgians, described in the local rag as "_une reception intime, +l'elite de tout ce que la ville renferme_!" The French Governor-General +of the town, accompanied by two aides-de-camp, came in state. All the +guests visited the wards, and then adjourned for tea to the top room +where the housekeeper had to perform miracles with the gas-ring. A +speech of thanks was made to the Corps, and "Scrubby" (the typhoid +doctor) got up and in _quelques paroles emues_ added his tribute as +well. It was a most successful show and we thought the French Governor +would never depart, he seemed to enjoy himself so much! + +Our next excitement was a big Allied concert given at the Theatre. +Several performances had taken place there since the one I described, +but this was the first time Belgians, French, and English had +collaborated. + +Betty, who had been at Tree's School, was asked to recite, and I was +asked to play the violin. She also got up a one-act farce with +Lieutenant Raby. It is extremely hard to be a housekeeper for a hospital +and work up for a concert at the same time. The only place I could +practise in was the storeroom and there, surrounded by tins of McVitie's +biscuits and Crosse & Blackwell's jam, I resorted when I could snatch a +few minutes! + +At last the day of the concert arrived and we rattled up to the Theatre +in "Flossie." A fairly big programme had been arranged, and the three +Allies were well represented. There was an opera singer from Paris +resplendent in a long red velvet dress, who interested me very much, she +behaved in such an extraordinary way behind the scenes. Before she was +due to go on, she walked up and down literally snorting like a +war-horse, occasionally bursting into a short scale, and then beating +her breast and saying, "_Mon Dieu, que j'ai le trac_," which, being +interpreted, means, approximately, "My God, but I have got the wind up!" +I sat in a corner with my violin and gazed at her in wonder. Everything +went off very well, and we received many be-ribboned bouquets and +baskets of flowers, which transformed the top room for days. + +All lesser excitements were eclipsed when we heard further rumours that +the English Red Cross might take us over to replace the men driving for +them at that time. + +MacDougal and Franklin, our two Lieutenants, were constantly attending +conferences on the subject. + +At last an official requisition came through for sixteen ambulance +drivers to replace the men by January 1, 1916. You can imagine our +excitement at the prospect. The very first women to drive British +wounded officially! It was an epoch in women's work in France and the +forerunner of all the subsequent convoys. + +Simultaneously an article appeared the 2nd December, 1915, headed +"'Yeowomen,' a triumph of hospital organisation," which I may be +pardoned for quoting: + +"A complete unit with sixteen to twenty motor ambulances, organised, +worked, and driven by women, will next month be added to the British +Army. + +"The women will drive their own cars and look after them in every way. +One single male mechanic, and that is all, is to be attached to the +whole unit. These ambulances may of course be summoned from their camp +to hurry over any type of winter-worn road to the neighbourhood of the +firing line. + +"What strength, endurance, and pluck such work demands from women can +easily be understood by anyone who has ever tried to swing a car in cold +weather or repair it by the roadside. + +"It is a very notable fact that for the first time under official +recognition women have been allowed to share in what may be called a +male department of warfare. + +"The Nursing Yeomanry have just extracted this recognition from the War +Office and deserve every compliment that can be paid them; and the +success is worth some emphasis as one of a series of victories for women +workers and organisations, at the top of which is, of course, the +Voluntary Aid Detachment. + +"The actual work of these Yeomen nurses, who rode horseback to the +dressing stations when no other means of conveyance were available, has +been in progress in France and Belgium almost since war was declared. +Most of their work has been done in the face of every kind of +discouragement, but they were never dismayed. Their khaki uniforms on +more than one occasion in Ghent made German sentries jump." (Mrs. +MacDougal arranging for F.A.N.Y. work[11] with the Belgians in September, +1914). + +"This feat of the 'Yeowomen'--who have struggled against a certain +amount of ridicule in England since they started a horse ambulance and +camp some six or seven years ago--is worth emphasis because it is only +one instance, striking but by no means unique, of the complete triumph +of women workers during the past few months!" + + * * * * * + +The next question was to decide who would go to the new English Convoy, +and two or three left for England to become proficient in motor +mechanics and driving. + +I was naturally anxious after a year with the Allies, to work for the +British, but as I could not be spared from housekeeping to go to England +I was dubious as to whether I could pass the test or not. Though I had +come out originally with the idea of being a chauffeur, I had only done +odd work from time to time at Lamarck. "Uncle," however, was very +hopeful and persuaded me to take the test in France before my leave was +due. Accordingly, I went round to the English Mechanical Transport in +the town for the exam., the same test as the men went through. I felt +distinctly like the opera lady at the concert. It was a very greasy day +and the road which we took was bordered on one side by a canal and on +the other by a deep and muddy ditch. As we came to a cross road the +A.S.C. Lieutenant who was testing me, said, "There you see the marks +where the last man I tested skidded with his car." "Yes, rather, how +jolly!" I replied in my agitation, wondering if my fate would be +likewise. We passed the spot more by luck than good management, and then +I reversed for some distance along that same road. At last I turned at +the cross roads, and after some traffic driving, luckily without any +mishap, drove back to hospital. I was questioned about mechanics on the +way, and at the end tactfully explained I was just going on leave and +meant to spend every second in a garage! I got out at the hospital gates +feeling quite sure I had failed, but to my intense relief and joy he +told me I had passed, and he would send up the marks to hospital later +on. I jumped at least a foot off the pavement! + +I went in and told the joyful news to Lieutenant Franklin, who was to be +boss of the new Convoy, while Lieutenant MacDougal was to be head of the +Belgian hospital, and of the unit down at the big Convalescent depot in +the S. of France, at Camp de Ruchard, where Lady Baird and Sister Lovell +superintended the hospital, and Chris and Thompson did the driving. + +It was sad to bid good-bye to Lamarck and the Belgians, but as the +English Convoy was to be in the same town it was not as if we should +never see them again. + +"Camille," in Ward I, whose back had been broken when the dug-out +collapsed on him during a bombardment, hung on to my hand while the +tears filled his eyes. He had been my special case when he first +arrived, and his gratitude for anything we could do for him was +touching. + +The Adjutant Heddebaud, who was the official Belgian head of the +hospital, wrote out with many flourishes a panegyric of sorts thanking +me for what I had done, which I duly pasted in my War Album; and so I +said Good-bye to Lamarck and the Belgians, and left for England, +December, 1915. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +THE ENGLISH CONVOY + + +My second leave was spent for the most part at a garage in the +neighbouring town near the village where we lived. I positively dreamt +of carburettors, magnetoes, and how to change tyres! The remaining three +of my precious fourteen days were spent in London enjoying life and +collecting kit and such like. We were to be entirely under canvas in our +new camp, and as it was mid-winter you can imagine we made what +preparations we could to avoid dying of pneumonia. + +The presentation of a fox terrier, "Tuppence," by name, I hailed with +delight. When all else froze, he would keep me warm, I thought! + +It may be interesting to members of the Corps to know the names of those +who formed that pioneer Convoy. They are: Lieutenant Franklin, M. +Thompson (Section Leader), B. Ellis, W. Mordaunt, C. Nicholson, D. +Heasman, D. Reynolds, G. Quin, M. Gamwell, H. Gamwell, B. Hutchinson, +N.F. Lowson, P.B. Waddell, M. Richardson, M. Laidley, O. Mudie-Cooke, P. +Mudie-Cooke and M. Lean (the last three were new members). + +I met Lowson and Lean at Victoria on January 3, 1916, and between us we +smuggled "Tuppence" into the boat train without anyone seeing him; +likewise through the customs at Folkestone. Arrived there we found that +mines were loose owing to the recent storms, and the boat was not +sailing till the next day. Then followed a hunt for rooms, which we duly +found but in doing so lost "Tuppence." The rest of the time was spent +looking for him; and when we finally arrived breathless at the police +station, there was the intelligent dog sitting on the steps! I must here +confess this was one of the few occasions he ever exhibited his talents +in that direction, and as such it must be recorded. He was so well bred +that sometimes he was positively stupid, however, he was beautiful to +look at, and one can't have everything in this world. + +The next morning the sea was still fairly rough; and I went in to the +adjoining room to find that the gallant Lowson was already up and +stirring, and had gone forth into the town in search of "Mother-sill." I +looked out at the sea and hoped fervently she would find some. + +We went on board at nine, after a good breakfast, and decided to stay on +deck. A sailor went round with a megaphone, shouting, "All lifebelts +on," and we were under way. + +I confided "Tuppence" to the care of the ship's carpenter and begged him +to find a spare lifebelt for him, so that if the worst came to the worst +he could use it as a little raft! + +We watched the two destroyers pitching black against the dashing spray +as they sped along on either side convoying us across. + +We arrived at Boulogne in time for lunch, and then set off for our +convoy camp thirty kilometres away, in a British Red Cross touring car +borrowed from the "Christol Hotel." + +We arrived there amid a deluge of rain, and the camp looked indeed a +sorry spectacle with the tents all awry in the hurricane that was +blowing. + +Bell tents flanked one side of the large open space where the ambulances +stood. A big store tent occupied another and the cook-house was in a +shed at the extreme corner, with the Mess tent placed about as far from +it as possible! I fully appreciated this piece of staff work later. +There were also a lot of bathing machines, which made me vaguely wonder +if a Snark had once inhabited the place. + + "The fourth (viz. sign of a Snark) is its fondness for bathing machines + Which it constantly carries about, + And believes that they add to the beauty of scenes-- + A sentiment open to doubt." + +My surmises were brought to an abrupt end. + +"Pat, dear old Pat. I say, old bird, you won't mind going into the +cook-house for a bit, will you, till the real cook comes? You're so +good-natured (?) I know you will, old thing." + +Before I could reply, someone else said: + +"That's settled then; it's perfectly ripping of you." + +"Splendid," said someone else. Being the chief person concerned, I +hadn't had a chance to utter word of protest one way or the other! + +When I _could_ gasp out something, I murmured feebly that I _had_ +thought I was going to drive a car, and had spent most of my leave +sitting in a garage with that end in view. + +"Oh, yes, of course you are, old thing, but the other cook hasn't turned +up yet. Bridget (Laidlay) is worked off her feet, so we decided you'd be +a splendid help to her in the meantime!" + +There was nothing else for it. + +I discovered I was to share a tent with Quin, and dragged my kit over to +the one indicated. I found her wringing out some blankets and was +greeted with the cheery "Hello, had a good leave? I say, old thing, your +bed's a pool of water." + +I looked into the tent and there it was sagging down in the middle with +quite a decent sized pond filling the hollow! "What about keeping some +gold fish?" I suggested, somewhat peevishly. + +Whatever happened I decided I couldn't sleep there that night, and with +Quin's help tipped it up and spread it on some boxes outside, as the sun +had come out. + +That night I spent at Lamarck on a stretcher--it at least had the virtue +of being dry if somewhat hard. + +When I appeared at the cook-house next morning with the words, "Please +mum, I've come!" Bridget literally fell on my neck. She poured out the +difficulties of trying to feed seventeen hungry people, when they all +came in to meals at different hours, especially as the big stove +wouldn't "draw." It had no draught or something (I didn't know very much +about them then). In the meantime all the cooking was done on a huge +Primus stove and the field kitchen outside. I took a dislike to that +field kitchen the moment I saw it, and I think it was mutual. It never +lost an opportunity of "going out on me" the minute my back was turned. +We were rather at a loss to know how to cope with our army rations at +first. We all worked voluntarily, but the army undertook to feed and +house (or rather tent) us. We could either draw money or rations, and at +first we decided on the former. When, however, we realised the enormous +price of the meat in the French shops we decided to try rations instead, +and this latter plan we found was much the best. Unfortunately, as we +had first drawn allowances it took some days before the change could be +effected, and Bridget and I had the time of our lives trying to make +both ends meet in the meantime. That first day she went out shopping it +was my duty to peel the potatoes and put them on to boil, etc. Before +she left she explained how I was to light the Primus stove. Now, if +you've never lit a Primus before, and in between the time you were told +how to do it you had peeled twenty or thirty potatoes, got two scratch +breakfasts, swept the Mess tent and kept that field kitchen from going +out, it's quite possible your mind would be a little blurred. Mine was. +When the time came, I put the methylated in the little cup at the top, +lit it, and then pumped with a will. The result was a terrific roar and +a sheet of flame reaching almost to the roof! Never having seen one in +action before, I thought it was possible they always behaved like that +at first and that the conflagration would subside in a few moments. I +watched it doubtfully, arms akimbo. Bridget entered just then and, +determined not to appear flustered, in as cool a voice as possible I +said: "Is that all right, old thing?" She put down her parcels and, +without a word, seized the stove by one of its legs and threw it on a +sand heap outside! Of course the field kitchen had gone out--(I can't +think who invented that rotten inadequate grating underneath, anyway), +and I felt I was not the bright jewel I might have been. + +Our Mess was a huge Indian tent rather out of repair, and, though it had +a bright yellow lining, dusk always reigned within. The mugs, tin +plates, and the oddest knives and forks constituted the "service." It +was windy and chilly to a degree, and one of the few advantages of being +in the cook-house was that one had meals in comparative warmth. + +My real troubles began at night when, armed with a heavy tray, I set off +on the perilous journey across the camp to the Mess tent to lay the +table. There were no lights, and it was generally raining. The chief +things to avoid were the tent ropes. As I left the cook-house I decided +exactly in my own mind where the bell-tent ropes extended, ditto those +of the store tent and the Mess, but invariably, just as I thought I was +clear, something caught my ankle as securely as any snake, and down I +crashed on top of the tray, the plates, mugs, and knives scattering all +around. Luckily it was months since the latter had been sharp, or a +steel proof overall would have been my only hope. Distances and the +supposititious length of tent ropes are inclined to be deceptive in the +dark. Nothing will make me believe those ropes were inanimate--they +literally lay in wait for me each night! When any loud crash was heard +in camp it was always taken for granted it was "only Pat taking another +toss." + +The wind, too, seemed to take a special delight in doing his bit. Our +camp was situated on the top of a small hill quite near the sea, and +some of the only trees in the neighbourhood flourished there, protected +by a deep thorn hedge. This, however, ended abruptly where the drive led +down to the road. It was when I got opposite the opening where the wind +swept straight up from the sea my real tussle began. As often as not the +tin plates were blown off the tray high into the air! It was then I +realized the value of a chin. Obviously it was meant to keep the lid on +the soup tureen and in this acrobatic attitude, my feet dodging the tent +ropes, I arrived breathless and panting at the door of the Mess tent. +The oil lamp swinging on a bit of wire over the table was as welcome a +sight as an oasis in the desert. + +We had no telephone in those days, and orderlies came up from the Casino +hospital and A.D.M.S. with buff slips when ambulances were wanted. At +that time the cars, Argylls, Napiers, Siddeley-Deaseys, and a Crossley, +inscribed "Frank Crossley, the Pet of Poperinghe," were just parked +haphazard in the open square, some with their bonnets one way and some +another--it just depended which of the two drives up to camp had been +chosen. It will make some of the F.A.N.Y.s smile to hear this, when they +think of the neat rows of cars precisely parked up to the dead straight, +white-washed line that ultimately became the order of things! + +The bathing machines had their uses, one near the cook-house acting as +our larder, another as a store for spare parts, while several others +were adopted by F.A.N.Y.s as their permanent abodes. One bore the +inscription, "The Savoy--Every Modern Inconvenience!" + +Some R.E.'s came to look at the big cook-house stove and decided it must +be put on a raised asphalt sort of platform. Of course this took some +time, and we had to do all the cooking on the Primus. The field kitchen +(when it went) was only good for hot water. We were relieved to see tins +of bully beef and large hunks of cheese arriving in one of the cars the +first day we drew rations, "Thank heaven that at least required no +cooking." It was our first taste of British bully, and we thought it +"really quite decent," and so it was, but familiarity breeds contempt, +and finally loathing. It was the monotony that did it. You would weary +of the tenderest chicken if you had it every other day for months. As +luck would have it, Bridget was again out shopping when, the day +following, a huge round of raw beef arrived. How to cope, that was the +question? (The verb "to cope" was very much in use at that period.) +Obviously it would not fit into the frying pan. But something had to be +done, and done soon, as it was getting late. "They must just have +chops," I said aloud, in desperation, and bravely seizing that round of +beef I cut seventeen squares out of it (slices would have taken too +long; besides, our knife wasn't sharp enough). + +They fried beautifully, and no one in the Mess was heard to murmur. When +you've been out driving from 7.30 a.m. hunger covers a multitude of +sins, and Bridget agreed I'd saved the situation. + +The beef when I'd finished with it looked exactly as if it had been in a +worry. No _wonder_ cooks never eat what they've cooked, I thought. + +To our great disappointment an order came up to the Convoy that all +cameras were to be sent back to England, and everyone rushed round +frantically finishing off their rolls of films. Lowson appeared and took +one of the cook-house "staff" armed with kettles and more or less +covered with smuts. It was rightly entitled, "The abomination of +desolation"--when it came to be gummed into my War Album! + +Quin was a great nut with our tent ropes at night, and though she had +not been in camp before the war, assured me she knew all about them. +Needless to say, I was only too pleased to let her carry on. + +When I rolled in at night after washing up in the cook-house she would +say: "You must come out and tighten the tent ropes with this gale +blowing, it won't be funny if the whole thing blows over in the night." +But none of the horrors she depicted ever persuaded me to turn out once +I was safely tucked up in my "flea bag" with "Tuppence" acting as a +weight to keep the top blankets in place. In the morning when I awoke +after a sound night's sleep, I would exclaim triumphantly: "There you +are, 'Squig,' what price the tent blowing down? It's as safe as a rock +and hasn't moved an inch!" + +"No?" the long-suffering "Squig" would reply bitterly, "it may interest +you to hear I've only been up _twice_ in the night hammering in the pegs +and fixing the ropes!" + +The only time I didn't bless her manipulation of these things was when I +rose at 6.30 a.m., by which time they had been frozen stiff and shrunk +to boot. The ones lacing the flap leading out of the tent were as hard +to undo as if they had been made of iron. On these occasions "Tuppence," +who had hardly realized the seriousness of war, would wake up and want +me instantly to go out, half dressed as I was, and throw stones for his +benefit! That dog had no sense of the fitness of things. If I did not +comply immediately he sat down, threw his head in the air, and "howled +to the moon!" The rest of the camp did not appreciate this pastime; but +if they had known my frenzied efforts with the stiffened ropes "Squig" +had so securely fixed over-night, their sympathies would have been with, +rather than against, me. + +One night we had a fearful storm (at least "Squig" told me of it in the +morning and I had no reason to doubt her word), and just as I was +rolling out of bed we heard yells of anguish proceeding from one of the +other tents. + +That one had collapsed we felt no doubt, and, rushing out in pyjamas +just as we were, in the wind and rain, we capered delightedly to the +scene of the disaster. The Sisters Mudie-Cooke (of course it would be +their tent that had gone) were now hidden from sight under the heavy +mass of wet canvas on top of them. The F.A.N.Y.s, their hair flying in +the wind, looking more like Red Indians on a scalping expedition than a +salvage party, soon extricated them, and they were taken, with what +clothes could be rescued, to another tent. Their fate, "Squig" assured +me, would have assuredly been ours had it not been for her! + +Madame came into existence about this time. She was a poor Frenchwoman +whom we hired to come and wash the dishes for us. She had no teeth, +wispy hair, and looked very underfed and starved. Her "man" had been +killed in the early days of the war. Though she looked hardly strong +enough to do anything, Bridget and I, who interviewed her jointly, had +not the heart to turn her away, and she remained with us ever after and +became so strong and well in time she looked a different woman. + +The Mess tent was at last moved nearer the cook-house (I had fallen over +the ropes so often that, quite apart from any feelings I had left, it +was a preventive measure to save what little crockery we possessed). + +The cars were all left in a pretty rotten condition, and the petrol was +none too good. How Kirkby, the one mechanic, coped at that time, always +with a cheery smile, will never be known. As Winnie aptly remarked, "In +these days there are only two kinds of beings in the Convoy--a "Bird" +and a "Blighter"!"[12] Kirkby was decidedly in the "Bird" class. + +"Be a bird, and do such and such a thing," was a common opening to a +request. Of course if you refused you were a "blighter" of the worst +description. + +As you will remember, I was only in the cook-house as a "temporary +help," and great was my joy when Logan (fresh from the Serbian campaign) +loomed up on the horizon as the pukka cook. I retired gracefully--my +only regret being Bridget's companionship. Two beings could hardly have +laughed as much as we had done when impossible situations had arisen, +and when the verb "to cope" seemed ineffective and life just one +"gentle" thing after the other. + +I was given the little Mors lorry to drive. To say I adored that car +would not be exaggerating my feelings about it at all. The seat was my +chief joy, it was of the racing variety, some former sportsman having +done away with the tool box that had served as one! "Tuppy" also +appreciated that lorry, and when we set off to draw rations, lying +almost flat, the tips of his ears could just be seen from the front on a +line with the top of my cap. + +One of my jobs was to take Sergeant McLaughlan to fetch the hospital +washing from a laundry some distance out of the town. He was an old +"pug," but had grown too heavy to enter the ring, and kept his hand in +coaching the promising young boxers stationed in the vicinity. In +consequence, what I did not know about all their different merits was +not worth knowing, and after a match had taken place every round was +described in full. I grew quite an enthusiast. + +He could never bear to see another car in front without trying to pass +it. "Let her rip, Miss," he would implore--"Don't be beat by them +Frenchies." Needless to say I did not need much encouragement, and +nothing ever passed us. (There are no speed limits in France.) There was +a special hen at one place we always tried to catch, but it was a wily +bird and knew a thing or two. McLaughlan was dying to take it home to +the Sergeants' Mess, but we never got her. + +One day, as we were rattling down the main street, one of the tyres went +off like a "4.2." We drew to the side, and there it was, as flat as a +pancake. + +There are always a lot of people in the streets of a town who seem to +have nothing particular to do, and very soon quite a decent-sized crowd +had collected. + +"We must do this in record time," I said to McLaughlan, who knew nothing +about cars, and kept handing me the wrong spanners in his anxiety to +help. "See," exclaimed one, "it makes her nothing to dirty her hands in +such a manner." + +"They work like men, these English young girls, is it not so?" said +another. "_Sapristi, c'est merveilleux._" + +"One would truly say from the distance that they _were_ men, but this +one, when one sees her close, is not too bad!" said a third. + +"Passing remarks about _you_, they are, I should say," said McLaughlan +to me as I fixed the spare wheel in place. + +"You wait," I panted, "I'll pay them out." + +"See you her strong boots?" they continued. "Believe you that she can +understand what we say?" asked one. "Never on your life," was the +answer, and the wheel in place, they watched every movement as I wiped +my hands on a rag and drew on my gloves. "Eight minutes exactly," +whispered McLaughlan triumphantly, as he seated himself beside me on the +lorry preparatory to starting. + +The crowd still watched expectantly, and, leaning out a little, I said +sweetly, in my best Parisian accent: "_Mesdames et Messieurs, la seance +est terminee_." And off we drove! Their expressions defied description; +I never saw people look so astounded. McLaughlan was unfeignedly +delighted. "Wot was that you 'anded out to them, Miss?" he asked. "Fair +gave it 'em proper anyway, straight from the shoulder," and he chuckled +with glee. + +I frequently met an old A.S.C. driver at one of the hospitals where I +had a long wait while the rations were unloaded. He was fat, rosy, and +smiling, and we became great friends. He was at least sixty; and told me +that when War broke out, and his son enlisted, he could not bear to feel +he was out of it, and joined up to do his bit as well. He was a taxi +owner-driver in peace times, and had three of them; the one he drove +being fitted with "real silver vauses!" I heard all about the "missus," +of whom he was very proud, and could imagine how anxiously she watched +the posts for letters from her only son and her old man. + +Some months later when I was driving an ambulance a message was brought +to me that Stone was in hospital suffering from bronchitis. I went off +to visit him. + +"I'm for home this time," he said sadly, "but won't the old missus be +pleased?" I looked at his smiling old face and thought indeed she would. + +He asked particularly if I would drive him to the boat when he was sent +to England. "It'll seem odd to be going off on a stretcher, Miss," he +said sadly, "just like one of the boys, and not even so much as a +scratch to boast of." I pointed out that there were many men in England +half his age who had done nothing but secure cushy jobs for themselves. + +"Well, Miss," he said, as I rose to leave, "it'll give me great pleasure +to drive you about London for three days when the war's over, and in my +best taxi, too, with the silver vauses!" + +(N.B. I'm still looking for him.) + +Life in the Convoy Camp was very different from Lamarck, and I missed +the cheery companionship of the others most awfully. At meal times only +half the drivers would be in, and for days at a time you hardly saw your +friends. + +There were no "10 o'clocks" either. Of course, if you happened to be in +camp at that time you probably got a cup of tea in the cook-house, but +it's not much of a pastime with no one else to drink it with you. +"Pleasant Sunday Evenings" were also out of the question for, with all +the best intentions in the world, no one could have spent an evening in +our Mess tent (even to the accompaniment of soft music) and called it +"pleasant!" They were still carried on at Lamarck, however, and whenever +possible we went down in force. + + +A BLACK DAY IN THE LIFE OF A CONVOY F.A.N.Y. + + (_By kind permission of Winifred Mordaunt, + From "Barrack Room Ballads + of the F.A.N.Y. Corps."_) + + Gentle reader, when you've seen this, + Do not think, please, that I mean this + As a common or garden convoy day, + For the Fany, as a habit + Is as jolly as a rabbit-- + Or a jay. + + But the're days in one's existence, + When the ominous persistence + Of bad luck goes thundering heavy on your track, + Though you shake him off with laughter, + He will leap the moment after-- + On your back. + + 'Tis the day that when on waking, + You will find that you are taking, + Twenty minutes when you haven't two to spare, + And the bloomin' whistle's starting, + When you've hardly thought of parting-- + Your front hair! + + You acquire the cheerful knowledge, + Ere you rush to swallow porridge, + That "fatigue" has just been added to your bliss, + "If the weather's no objection, + There will be a car inspection-- + Troop--dismiss!" + + With profane ejaculation, + You will see "evacuation" + Has been altered to an earlier hour than nine, + So your 'bus you start on winding, + Till you hear the muscles grinding-- + In your spine. + + Let's pass over nasty places, + Where you jolt your stretcher cases + And do everything that's wrong upon the quay, + Then it's time to clean the boiler, + And the sweat drops from the toiler, + Oh--dear me! + + When you've finished rubbing eye-wash, + On your engine, comes a "Kibosch." + As the Section-leader never looks at it, + But a grease-cap gently twisting, + She remarks that it's consisting,-- + "Half of grit." + + Then as seated on a trestle, + With the toughest beef you wrestle, + That in texture would out-rival stone or rock, + You are told you must proceed, + To Boulogne, with care and speed + At two o'clock. + + As you're whisking through Marquise + (While the patients sit at ease) + Comes the awful sinking sizzle of a tyre, + It is usual in such cases, + That your jack at all such places, + Won't go higher. + + A wet, cold rain starts soaking, + And the old car keeps on choking, + Your hands and face are frozen raw and red, + Three sparking-plugs are missing, + There's another tyre a-hissing, + Well--! 'nuff said! + + You reach camp as night's descending, + To the bath with haste you're wending, + A hot tub's the only thing to save a cough, + Cries the F.A.N.Y. who's still in it, + "Ah! poor soul, why just this minute, + Water's off!" + +_N.B._--It was a popular pastime of the powers that be to turn the water +off at intervals, without any warning, rhyme or reason--one of the +tragedies of the War. + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +THE PASSING OF THE LITTLE LORRY, "OLD BILL" AND "'ERB" AT AUDRICQ + + +A mild sensation was caused one day by a collision on the Boulogne road +when a French car skidded into one of ours (luckily empty at the time) +and pushed it over into the gutter. + +"Heasy" and Lowson were both requested to appear at the subsequent Court +of Enquiry, and Sergeant Lawrence, R.A.M.C. (who had been on the +ambulance at the time) was bursting with importance and joy at the +anticipation of the proceedings. He was one of the chief witnesses, and +apart from anything else it meant an extra day's pay for him, though why +it should I could never quite fathom. + +As they drove off, with Boss as chaperone, a perfect salvo of old shoes +was thrown after them! + +They returned with colours flying, for had not Lowson saved the +situation by producing a tape measure three minutes after the accident, +measuring the space the Frenchman swore was wide enough for his car to +pass, and proving thereby it was a physical impossibility? + +"How," asked the Colonel, who was conducting the Enquiry, "can you +declare with so much certainty the space was 3 feet 8 inches?" + +"I measured it," replied Lowson promptly. + +"May I ask with what?" he rasped. + +"A tape-measure I had in my pocket," replied she, smiling affably the +while (sensation). + +The Court of Enquiry went down like a pack of cards before that tape +measure. Such a thing had never been heard of before; and from then +onwards the reputation of the "lady drivers" being prepared for all +"immersions" was established finally and irrevocably. + +It was a marvel how fit we all kept throughout those cold months. It was +no common thing to wake up in the mornings and find icicles on the top +blanket of the "flea bag" where one's breath had frozen, and of course +one's sponge was a solid block of ice. It was duly placed in a tin basin +on the top of the stove and melted by degrees. Luckily we had those +round oil stoves; and with flaps securely fastened at night we achieved +what was known as a "perfectly glorious fug." + +Engineers began to make frequent trips to camp to choose a suitable site +for the huts we were to have to replace our tents. + +My jobs on the little lorry were many and varied; getting the weekly +beer for the Sergeants' Mess being one of the least important. I drew +rations for several hospitals as well as bringing up the petrol and +tyres for the Convoy, rationing the Officers' Mess, etc.; and regularly +at one o'clock just as we were sitting at Mess, Sergeant Brown would +appear (though we never saw more of him than his legs) at the aperture +that served as our door, and would call out diffidently in his high +squeaky voice: "Isolation, when you're ready, Miss," and as regularly +the whole Mess would go off into fits! This formula when translated +meant that he was ready for me to take the rations to the Isolation +hospital up the canal. Hastily grabbing some cheese I would crank up the +little lorry and depart. + +The little lorry did really score when an early evacuation took place, +at any hour from 4 a.m. onwards, when the men had to be taken from the +hospitals to the ships bound for England. How lovely to lie in bed and +hear other people cranking up their cars! + +Barges came regularly down the canals with cases too seriously wounded +to stand the jolting in ambulance trains. One day we were all having +tea, and some friends had dropped in, when a voice was heard calling +"Barges, Barges." Without more ado the whole Mess rose, a form was +overturned, and off they scampered as fast as they could to get their +cars and go off immediately. The men left sitting there gazed blankly at +each other and finally turned to me for an explanation--(being a lorry, +I was not required). "Barges," I said; "they all have to hurry off as +quickly as possible to unload the cases." They thought it rather a +humorous way of speeding the parting guest, but I assured them work +always came before (or generally during) tea in our Convoy! Major S.P. +never forgot that episode, and the next time he came, heralded his +arrival by calling out at the top of his voice, "Barges, Barges!" with +the result that half the Convoy turned out _en masse_. He assured his +friends it was the one method of getting a royal welcome. + +I shall never forget with what fear and trepidation I drove my first lot +of wounded. I was on evening duty when the message came up about seven +that there were eight bad cases, too bad to stay on the barge till next +morning, which were to be removed to hospital immediately. Renny and I +set off, each driving a Napier ambulance. We backed into position on the +sloping shingly ground near the side of the canal, and waited for the +barge to come in. + +Presently we espied it slipping silently along under the bridge. The +cases were placed on lifts and slung gently up from the inside of the +barge, which was beautifully fitted up like a hospital ward. + +It is not an easy matter when you are on a slope to start off smoothly +without jerking the patients within; and I held my breath as I +declutched and took off the brake, accelerating gently the meanwhile. +Thank heaven! We were moving slowly forward and there had been no jerk. +They were all bad cases and an occasional groan would escape their lips +in spite of themselves. I dreaded a certain dip in the road--a sort of +open drain known in France as a _canivet_--but fortunately I had +practised crossing it when out one day trying a Napier, and we +manoeuvred it pretty fairly. My relief on getting to hospital was +tremendous. My back was aching, so was my knee (from constant +clutch-slipping over the bumps and cobbles), and my eyes felt as if they +were popping out of my head. In fact I had a pretty complete "stretcher +face!" I had often ragged the others about their "stretcher faces," +which was a special sort of strained expression I had noticed as I +skimmed past them in the little lorry, but now I knew just what it felt +like. + +The new huts were going apace, and were finished about the end of April, +just as the weather was getting warmer. We were each to have one to +ourselves, and they led off on each side of a long corridor running down +the centre. These huts were built almost in a horse-shoe shape and--joy +of joys! there were to be two bathrooms at the end! We also had a +telephone fixed up--a great boon. The furniture in the huts consisted of +a bed and two shelves, and that was all. There was an immediate slump in +car cleaning. The rush on carpentering was tremendous. It was by no +means safe for a workman to leave his tools and bag anywhere in the +vicinity; his saw the next morning was a thing to weep over if he did. +(It's jolly hard to saw properly, anyway, and it really looks such an +easy pastime.) + +The wooden cases that the petrol was sent over in from England, large +enough to hold two tins, were in great demand. These we made into +settees and stools, etc., and when stained and polished they looked +quite imposing. The contractor kindly offered to paint the interiors of +the huts for us as a present, but we were a little startled to see the +brilliant green that appeared. Someone unkindly suggested that he could +get rid of it in no other way. + +When at last they were finished we received orders to take up our new +quarters, but, funnily enough, we had become so attached to our tents by +that time that we were very loath to do so. A fatigue party however +arrived one day to take the tents down, so there was nothing for it. +Many of the workmen were most obliging and did a lot of odd jobs for us. +I rescued one of the Red Cross beds instead of the camp one I had had +heretofore--the advantage was that it had springs--but there was only +the mattress part, and so it had to be supported on two petrol cases for +legs! The disadvantage of this was that as often as not one end slipped +off in the night and you were propelled on to the floor, or else two +opposite corners held and the other two see-sawed in mid-air. Both great +aids to nightmares. + +"Tuppence" did not take at all kindly to the new order of things; he +missed chasing the mice that used to live under the tent boards and +other minor attractions of the sort. + +The draughtiness and civilization of the new huts compared with the +"fug" of the tents all combined to give us chills! I had a specially bad +one, and managed with great skill to wangle a fortnight's sick leave in +Paris. + +The journey had not increased much in speed since my last visit, but +everything in Paris itself had assumed a much more normal aspect. The +bridge over the Oise had long since been repaired, and hardly a shop +remained closed. I went to see my old friend M. Jollivet at Neuilly, and +had the same little English mare to ride in the Bois, and also visited +many of the friends I had made during my first leave there. + +I got some wonderful French grey Ripolin sort of stuff from a little +shop in the "Boul' Mich" with which to tone down the violent green in my +hut, that had almost driven me mad while I lay ill in bed. + +The Convoy was gradually being enlarged, and a great many new drivers +came out from England just after I got back. McLaughlan gave me a great +welcome when I went for the washing that afternoon. "It's good to see +you back, Miss," he said, "the driver they put on the lorry was very +slow and cautious--you know the 'en we always try to catch? Would you +believe it we slowed down to walking pace so as to _miss_ 'er!" and he +sniffed disgustedly. + +The news of the battle of Jutland fell like a bombshell in the camp +owing to the pessimistic reports first given of it in the papers. A +witty Frenchman once remarked that in all our campaigns we had only won +one battle, but that was the last, and we felt that however black things +appeared at the moment we would come out on top in the end. The news of +Kitchener's death five days later plunged the whole of the B.E.F. into +mourning, and the French showed their sympathy in many touching ways. + +One day to my sorrow I heard that the little Mors lorry was to be done +away with, owing to the shortage of petrol that began to be felt about +this time, and that horses and G.S. wagons were to draw rations, etc., +instead. It had just been newly painted and was the joy of my +heart--however mine was not to reason why, and in due course Red Cross +drivers appeared with two more ambulances from the Boulogne _depot_, and +they made the journey back in the little Mors. + +It was then that "Susan" came into being. + +The two fresh ambulances were both Napiers, and I hastily consulted +Brown (the second mechanic who had come to assist Kirkby as the work +increased) which he thought was the best one. (It was generally felt I +should have first choice to console me for the loss of the little Mors.) + +I chose the speediest, naturally. She was a four cylinder Napier, given +by a Mrs. Herbert Davies to the Red Cross at the beginning of the war +(_vide_ small brass plate affixed), and converted from her private car +into an ambulance. She had been in the famous old Dunkirk Convoy in +1914, and was battle-scarred, as her canvas testified, where the bullets +and shrapnel had pierced it. She had a fat comfortable look about her, +and after I had had her for some time I felt "Susan" was the only name +for her; and Susan she remained from that day onwards. She always came +up to the scratch, that car, and saved my life more than once. + +We snatched what minutes we could from work to do our "cues," as we +called our small huts. It was a great pastime to voyage from hut to hut +and see what particular line the "furnishing" was taking. Mine was +closed to all intruders on the score that I had the "painters in." It +was to be _art nouveau_. I found it no easy matter to get the stuff on +evenly, especially as I had rather advanced ideas as to mural +decoration! With great difficulty I stencilled long lean-looking +panthers stalking round the top as a sort of fresco. I cut one pattern +out in cardboard and fixing it with drawing pins painted the Ripolin +over it, with the result that I had a row of green panthers prowling +round against a background of French grey! I found them very restful, +but of course opinions differ on these subjects. Curtains and cushions +were of bright Reckitt's blue material, bought in the market, relieved +by scrolls of dull pink wool embroidered (almost a stitch at a time) in +between jobs. The dark stained "genuine antiques" or _veritables +imitations_ (as I once saw them described in a French shop) looked +rather well against this background; and a tremendous house-warming took +place to celebrate the occasion. + +No. 30 Field hospital arrived one day straight from Sicily, where it had +apparently been sitting ever since the war, awaiting casualties. + +As there seemed no prospect of any being sent, they were ordered to +France, and took up their quarters on a sandy waste near the French +coastal forts. The orderlies had picked up quite a lot of Italian during +their sojourn and were never tired of describing the wonderful sights +they had seen. + +While waiting for patients there one day, a corporal informed me that on +the return journey they had "passed the volcano Etna, in rupture!" + +A great many troops came to a rest camp near us, and I always feel that +"Tuppence's" disappearance was due to them. He _would_ be friendly with +complete strangers, and several times had come in minus his collar +(stolen by French urchins, I supposed). I had just bought his fourth, +and rather lost heart when he turned up the same evening without it once +more. Work was pouring in just then, and I would sometimes be out all +day. When last I saw him he was playing happily with Nellie, another +terrier belonging to a man at the Casino, and that night I missed him +from my hut. I advertised in the local rag (he was well known to all the +French people as he was about the only pure bred dog they'd ever seen), +but to no avail. I also made visits to the _Abattoir_, the French +slaughter house where strays were taken, but he was not there, and I +could only hope he had been taken by some Tommies, in which case I knew +he would be well looked after. I missed him terribly. + +Work came in spasms, in accordance with the fighting of course, and when +there was no special push on we had tremendous car inspections. Boss +walked round trying to spot empty grease caps and otherwise making +herself thoroughly objectionable in the way of gear boxes and +universals. On these occasions "eye-wash" was extensively applied to the +brass, the idea being to keep her attention fixed well to the front by +the glare. + +One day, when all manner of fatigues and other means of torture had been +exhausted, Dicky and Freeth discovered they had a simultaneous birthday. +Prospects of wounded arriving seemed nil, and permission was given for a +fancy-dress tea party to celebrate the double event. It must be here +understood that whether work came in or not we all had to remain on duty +in camp till five every day, in case of the sudden arrival of ambulance +trains, etc. After that hour, two of us were detailed to be on evening +duty till nine, while all night duty was similarly taken in turns. +Usually, after hanging about all day till five, a train or barges would +be announced, and we were lucky if we got into bed this side of 12. +Hardly what you might call a "six-hour day," and yet nobody went on +strike. + +The one in question was fine and cloudless, and birthday wishes in the +shape of a Taube raid were expressed by the Boche, who apparently keeps +himself informed on all topics. + +The fancy dresses (considering what little scope we had and that no one +even left camp to buy extras in the town) were many and varied. "Squig" +and de Wend were excellent as bookies, in perfectly good toppers made +out of stiff white paper with deep black ribbon bands and "THE OLD +FIRM" painted in large type on cards. Jockeys, squaws, yokels, etc., all +appeared mysteriously from nothing. I was principally draped in my +Reckitts blue upholsterings and a brilliant Scherezade kimono, bought in +a moment of extravagance in Paris. + +The proceedings after tea, when the cooks excelled themselves making an +enormous birthday cake, consisted of progressive games of sorts. You +know the kind of thing, trying to pick up ten needles with a pin (or is +it two?) and doing a Pelman memory stunt after seeing fifty objects on a +tray, and other intellectual pursuits of that description. Another stunt +was putting a name to different liquids which you smelt blindfold. This +was the only class in which I got placed. I was the only one apparently +who knew the difference between whisky and brandy! Funnily enough, would +you believe it, it was the petrol that floored me. Considering we +wallowed in it from morning till night it was rather strange. I was +nearly spun altogether when it came to the game of Bridge in the +telephone room. "I've never played it in my life," I said desperately. +"Never mind," said someone jokingly, "just take a hand." I took the tip +seriously and did so, looking at my cards as gravely as a judge--finally +I selected one and threw it down. To my relief no one screamed or +denounced me and I breathed again. (It requires some skill to play a +game of Bridge when you know absolutely nothing about it.) + +"Pity you lost that last trick," said my partner to me as we left the +room; "it was absolutely in your hand." + +"Was it?" I asked innocently. + +We had a rush of work after this, and wounded again began to pour in +from the Third Battle of Ypres. + +Early evacuations came regularly with the tides. They would begin at 4 +a.m. and get half an hour later each day. When we took "sitters" (i.e. +sitting patients with "Blighty" wounds), one generally came in front and +sat beside the driver, and on the way to the Hospital Ships we sometimes +learnt a lot about them. I had a boy of sixteen one day, a bright cheery +soul. "How did you get in?" (meaning into the army), I asked. "Oh, well, +Miss, it was like this, I was afraid it would be over before I was old +enough, so I said I was eighteen. The recruiting bloke winked and so did +I, and I was through." Another, when asked about his wound, said, "It's +going on fine now, Sister (they always called us Sister), but I lost me +conscience for two days up the line with it." + +We had a bunch of Canadians to take one day. "D'you come from Sussex?" +asked one, of me. "No," I replied, "from Cumberland." "That's funny," he +said, "the V.A.D. who looked after me came from Sussex, and she had the +same accent as you, I guess!" Another man had not been home for five +years, but had joined up in Canada and come straight over. A Scotsman +had not been home for twenty, and he intended to see his "folks" and +come out again as soon as he was passed fit by the doctors. + +One fine morning at 5 a.m. we were awakened by a fearful din, much worse +than the usual thing. The huts trembled and our beds shook beneath us, +not to mention the very nails falling out of the walls! We wondered at +first if it was a fleet of Zepps. dropping super-bombs, but decided it +was too light for them to appear at that hour. + +There it was again, as if the very earth was being cleft in two, and our +windows rattled in their sockets. It is not a pleasant sensation to have +steady old Mother Earth rocking like an "ashpan" leaf beneath your feet. + +We dressed hurriedly, knowing that the cars might be called on to go out +at any moment. + +What the disaster was we could not fathom, but that it was some distance +away we had no doubt. + +At 7 a.m. the telephone rang furiously, and we all waited breathless for +the news. + +Ten cars were ordered immediately to Audricq, where a large ammunition +dump had been set on fire by a Boche airman. + +Heavy explosions continued at intervals all the morning as one shed +after another became affected. + +When our cars got there the whole dump was one seething mass of smoke +and flames, and shells of every description were hurtling through the +air at short intervals. Several of these narrowly missed the cars. It +was a new experience to be under fire from our own shells. The roads +were littered with live ones, and with great difficulty the wheels of +the cars were steered clear of them! + +Many shells were subsequently found at a distance of five miles, and one +buried itself in a peaceful garden ten miles off! + +A thousand 9.2's had gone off simultaneously and made a crater big +enough to bury a village in. It was this explosion that had shaken our +huts miles away. The neighbouring village fell flat like a pack of cards +at the concussion, the inhabitants having luckily taken to the open +fields at the first intimation that the dump was on fire. + +The total casualties were only five in number, which was almost +incredible in view of the many thousands of men employed. It was due to +the presence of mind of the Camp Commandant that there were not more; +for, once he realized the hopeless task of getting the fire under +control, he gave orders to the men to clear as fast as they could. They +needed no second bidding and made for the nearest _Estaminets_ with +speed! The F.A.N.Y.s found that instead of carrying wounded, their task +was to search the countryside (with Sergeants on the box) and bring the +men to a camp near ours. "Dead?" asked someone, eyeing the four +motionless figures inside one of the ambulances. "Yes," replied the +F.A.N.Y. cheerfully--"drunk!" + +The Boche had flown over at 3 a.m. but so low down the Archies were +powerless to get him. As one of the men said to me, "If we'd had rifles, +Miss, we could have potted him easy." + +He flew from shed to shed dropping incendiary bombs on the roofs as he +passed, and up they went like fireworks. The only satisfaction we had +was to hear that he had been brought down on his way back over our +lines, so the Boche never heard of the disaster he had caused. + +Some splendid work was done after the place had caught fire. One +officer, in spite of the great risk he ran from bursting shells, got the +ammunition train off safely to the 4th army. Thanks to him, the men up +the line were able to carry on as if nothing had happened, till further +supplies could be sent from other dumps. It was estimated that four +days' worth of shells from all the factories in England had been +destroyed. + +An M.T. officer got all the cars and lorries out of the sheds and +instructed the drivers to take them as far from the danger zone as +possible, while the Captain in charge of the "Archie" Battery stuck to +his guns; and he and his men remained in the middle of that inferno +hidden in holes in their dug-out, from which it was impossible to rescue +them for two days. + +Five days after the explosion Gutsie and I were detailed to go to +Audricq for some measles cases, and we reported first to the Camp +Commandant, who was sitting in the remains of his office, a shell +sticking up in the floor and half his roof blown away. + +He gave us permission to see the famous crater, and instructed one of +the subalterns to show us round. There were still fires burning and +shells popping in some parts and the scenes of wreckage were almost +indescribable. + +The young officer was not particularly keen to take us at all and said +warningly, "You come at your own risk--there are nothing but live shells +lying about, liable to go off at any moment. Be careful," he said to me, +"you're just stepping on one now." I hopped off with speed, but all the +same we were not a whit discouraged, which seemed to disappoint him. + +As Gutsie and I stumbled and rolled over 4.2's and hand grenades I +quoted to her from the "Fuse-top collectors"--"You can generally 'ear +'em fizzin' a bit if they're going to go 'orf, 'Erb!" by way of +encouragement. Trucks had been lifted bodily by the concussion, and +could be seen in adjacent fields; many of the sheds had been half blown +away, leaving rows of live shells lying snugly in neat piles, but as +there was no knowing when they might explode it was decided to scrap the +whole dump when the fires had subsided. + +We walked up a small hill literally covered with shells and empty hand +grenades of the round cricket ball type, two of which were given to us +to make into match boxes. Every description of shell was there as far as +the eye could see, and some were empty and others were not. We reached +the summit, walking gingerly over 9.2's (which formed convenient steps) +to find ourselves at the edge of the enormous crater already half filled +with water. It was incredible to believe a place of that size had been +formed in the short space of one second, and yet on the other hand, +when I remembered how the earth had trembled, the wonder was it was not +even larger. + +It took weeks for that dump to be cleared up. Little by little the live +shells were collected and taken out to sea in barges, and dropped in +mid-ocean. + +Not long after that the "Zulu," a British destroyer, came into port half +blown away by a mine. Luckily the engine was intact and still working, +but the men, who had had marvellous escapes, lost all their kit and +rations. We were not able to supply the former, unfortunately, but we +remedied the latter with speed, and also took down cigarettes, which +they welcomed more than anything. + +We were shown all over the remains, and hearing that the "Nubia" had +just had her engine room blown away, we suggested that the two ends +should be joined together and called the "Nuzu," but whether the +Admiralty thought anything of the idea I have yet to learn! + +Before the Captain left he had napkin rings made for each of us out of +the copper piping from the ship, in token of his appreciation of the +help we had given. + +The Colonials were even more surprised to see girls driving in France +than our own men had been. + +One man, a dear old Australian, was being invalided out altogether and +going home to his wife. He told me how during the time he had been away +she had become totally blind owing to some special German stuff, that +had been formerly injected to keep her sight, being now unprocurable. +"Guess she's done her bit," he ended; "and I'm off home to take care of +her. She'll be interested to hear how the lassies work over here," and +we parted with a handshake. + +Important conferences were always taking place at the Hotel Maritime, +and one day as I was down on the quay the French Premier and several +other notabilities arrived. "There's Mr. Asquith," said an R.T.O. to me. +"That!" said I, in an unintentionally loud voice, eyeing his long hair, +"I thought he was a 'cellist belonging to a Lena Ashwell Concert party!" +He looked round, and I faded into space. + +Taking some patients to hospital that afternoon we passed some +Australians marching along. "Fine chaps," said the one sitting on the +box to me, "they're a good emetic of their country, aren't they?" (N.B. +I fancy he meant to say emblem.) + +Our concert party still flourished, though the conditions for practising +were more difficult than ever. Our Mess tent had been moved again on to +a plot of grass behind the cook-house to leave more space for the cars +to be parked, and though we had a piano there it was somehow not +particularly inspiring, nor had we the time to practise. The Guards' +Brigade were down resting at Beau Marais, and we were asked to give them +a show. We now called ourselves the "FANTASTIKS," and wore a black +pierrette kit with yellow bobbles. The rehearsals were mostly conducted +in the back of the ambulance on the way there, and the rest of the time +was spent feverishly muttering one's lines to oneself and imploring +other people not to muddle one. The show was held in a draughty tent, +and when it was over the Padre made a short prayer and they all sang a +hymn. (Life is one continual paradox out in France.) I shall never +forget the way those Guardsmen sang either. It was perfectly splendid. +There they stood, rows of men, the best physique England could produce, +and how they sang! + +Betty drove us back to camp in the "Crystal Palace," so-called from its +many windows--a six cylinder Delauney-Belville car used to take the army +sisters to and from their billets. We narrowly missed nose-diving into a +chalk pit on the way, the so-called road being nothing but a rutty +track. + +The Fontinettes ambulance train was a special one that was usually +reported to arrive at 8 p.m., but never put in an appearance till 10, +or, on some occasions, one o'clock. The battle of the Somme was now in +progress; and, besides barges and day trains, three of these arrived +each week. The whole Convoy turned out for this; and one by one the +twenty-five odd cars would set off, keeping an equal distance apart, +forming an imposing looking column down from the camp, across the bridge +and through the town to the railway siding. The odd makes had been +weeded out and the whole lot were now Napiers. The French inhabitants +would turn out _en masse_ to see us pass, and were rather proud of us on +the whole, I think. Arrived at the big railway siding, we all formed up +into a straight line to await the train. After many false alarms, and +answering groans from the waiting F.A.N.Y.s, it would come slowly +creaking along and draw up. The ambulances were then reversed right up +to the doors, and the stretcher bearers soon filled them up with four +lying cases. At the exit stood Boss and the E.M.O., directing each +ambulance which hospital the cases were to go to. Those journeys back +were perfect nightmares. Try as one would, it was impossible not to bump +a certain amount over those appalling roads full of holes and cobbles. +It was pathetic when a voice from the interior could be heard asking, +"Is it much farther, Sister?" and knowing how far it was, my heart ached +for them. After all they had been through, one felt they should be +spared every extra bit of pain that was possible. When I in my turn was +in an ambulance, I knew just what it felt like. Sometimes the cases were +so bad we feared they would not even last the journey, and there we were +all alone, and not able to hurry to hospital owing to the other three on +board. + +The journey which in the ordinary way, when empty, took fifteen minutes, +under these circumstances lasted anything from three-quarters of an hour +to an hour. "Susan" luckily was an extremely steady 'bus, and in 3rd. +gear on a smooth road there was practically no movement at all. I +remember once on getting to the Casino I called out, "I hope you weren't +bumped too much in there?" and was very cheered when a voice replied, +"It was splendid, Sister, you should have seen us up the line, jolting +all over the place." "Sister," another one called, "will you drive us +when we leave for Blighty?" I said it was a matter of chance, but +whoever did so would be just as careful. "No," said the voice decidedly, +"there couldn't be two like you." (I think he must have been in an Irish +Regiment.) + +The relief after the strain of this journey was tremendous; and the joy +of dashing back through the evening air made one feel as if weights had +been taken off and one were flying. It was rather a temptation to test +the speed of one's 'bus against another on these occasions; and "Susan" +seemed positively to take a human interest in the impromptu race, all +the more so as it was forbidden. The return journey was by a different +route from that taken by the laden ambulances so that there was no +danger of a collision. + +We usually had about three journeys with wounded; twelve stretcher cases +in all, so that, say the train came in at nine and giving an hour to +each journey there and back, it meant (not counting loading and +unloading) roughly 1 o'clock a.m. or later before we had finished. Then +there were usually the sitting cases to be taken off and the stretcher +bearers to be driven back to their camp. Half of one head light only was +allowed to be shown; and the impression I always had when I came in was +that my eyes had popped right out of my head and were on bits of +elastic. A most extraordinary sensation, due to the terrible strain of +trying to see in the darkness just a little further than one really +could. It was the irony of fate to learn, when we did come in, that an +early evacuation had been telephoned through for 5 a.m. I often spent +the whole night dreaming I was driving wounded and had given them the +most awful bump. The horror of it woke me up, only to find that my bed +had slipped off one of the petrol boxes and was see-sawing in mid-air! + + +THE RED CROSS CARS + + "They are bringing them back who went forth so bravely. + Grey, ghostlike cars down the long white road + Come gliding, each with its cross of scarlet + On canvas hood, and its heavy load + Of human sheaves from the crimson harvest + That greed and falsehood and hatred sowed. + + "Maimed and blinded and torn and shattered, + Yet with hardly a groan or a cry + From lips as white as the linen bandage; + Though a stifled prayer 'God let me die,' + Is wrung, maybe, from a soul in torment + As the car with the blood-red cross goes by. + + "Oh, Red Cross car! What a world of anguish + On noiseless wheels you bear night and day. + Each one that comes from the field of slaughter + Is a moving Calvary, painted grey. + And over the water, at home in England + 'Let's play at soldiers,' the children say." + + Anon. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +CONVOY LIFE + + +The Prince of Wales was with the Grenadiers at Beau Marais when they +came in to rest for a time. One day, while having tea at the Sauvage, +Mademoiselle Leonie, sister of the proprietor, came up to me in a +perfect flutter of excitement to say that that very evening the Prince +had ordered the large room to be prepared for a dinner he was giving to +his brother officers. + +I was rather a favourite of hers, and she assured me if I wished to +watch him arriving it would give her great pleasure to hide me in her +paying-desk place where I could see everything clearly. She was quite +hurt when I refused the invitation. + +He was tremendously popular with the French people; and the next time I +saw her she rushed up to me and said: "How your Prince is beautiful, +Mees; what spirit, what fire! Believe me, they broke every glass they +used at that dinner, and then the Prince demanded of me the bill and +paid for everything." (Some lad!) "He also wrote his name in my +autograph book," she added proudly. "Oh he is _chic_, that one there, I +tell you!" + +One warm summer day Gutsie and I were sitting on a grassy knoll, just +beyond our camp overlooking the sea (well within earshot of the +summoning whistle), watching a specially large merchant ship come in. +Except for the distant booming of the guns (that had now become such a +background to existence we never noticed it till it stopped), an +atmosphere of peace and drowsiness reigned over everything. The ship was +just nearing the jetty preparatory to entering the harbour when a dull +reverberating roar broke the summer stillness, the banks we were on +fairly shook, and there before our eyes, out of the sea, rose a dense +black cloud of smoke 50 feet high that totally obscured the ship from +sight for a moment. When the black fumes sank down, there, where a whole +vessel had been a moment before, was only half a ship! We rubbed our +eyes incredulously. It had all happened so suddenly it might have taken +place on a Cinema. She had, of course, struck a German mine, and quick +as lightning two long, lithe, grey bodies (French destroyers) shot out +from the port and took off what survivors were left. Contrary to +expectation she did not sink, but settled down, and remained afloat till +she was towed in later in the day. + +A "Y.M.C.A." article on "Women's work in France," that appeared in a +Magazine at home, was sent out to one of the girls. The paragraph +relating to us ran:-- + +"Then there are the 'F.A.N.N.I.E.S.,' the dear mud-besplashing +F.A.N.Y.s. (to judge from the language of the sometime bespattered, the +adjective was not always 'dear'), with them cheeriness is almost a cult; +at 6 a.m. in the morning you may always be sure of a smile, even when +their sleep for the week has only averaged five hours per night." + +There were not many parties at Filbert during that summer. Off-time was +such an uncertain quantity. We managed to put in several though, +likewise some gallops on the glorious sands stretching for miles along +the coast. (It was hardly safe to call at the Convoy on your favourite +charger. When you came out from tea it was more than probable you found +him in a most unaccountable lather!) Bathing during the daytime was also +a rare event, so we went down in an ambulance after dark, macks covering +our bathing dresses, and scampered over the sands in the moonlight to +the warm waves shining and glistening with phosphorus. + +Zeppelin raids seemed to go out of fashion, but Gothas replaced them +with pretty considerable success. As we had a French Archie battery near +us it was no uncommon thing, when a raid was in progress, for our +souvenirs and plates, etc., to rattle off the walls and bomb us (more or +less gently) awake! + +There was a stretch of asphalt just at the bottom of our camp that had +been begun by an enterprising burgher as a tennis club before the war, +though others _did_ say it was really intended as a secret German gun +emplacement. It did not matter much to us for which purpose it had been +made, for, as it was near, we could play tennis and still be within +call. There was just room for two courts, and many a good game we +enjoyed there, especially after an early evacuation, in the long empty +pause till "brekker" at eight o'clock. + +"Wuzzy," or to give him his proper name, "Gerald," came into existence +about this time. He arrived from Peuplinghe a fat fluffy puppy covered +with silky grey curls. He was of nondescript breed, with a distinct +leaning towards an old English sheep dog. He had enormous fawn-coloured +silky paws, and was so soft and floppy he seemed as if he had hardly a +bone in his body. We used to pick him up and drop him gently in the +grass to watch him go out flat like a tortoise. He belonged to Lean, and +grew up a rather irresponsible creature with long legs and a lovable +disposition. He adored coming down to the ambulance trains or sitting +importantly on a car, jeering and barking at his low French friends in +the road, on the "I'm the king of the castle" principle. Another of his +favourite tricks was to rush after a car (usually selecting Lean's), and +keep with it the whole time, never swerving to another, which was rather +clever considering they were so much alike. On the way back to Camp he +had a special game he played on the French children playing in the +_Petit Courgain_. He would rush up as if he were going to fly at them. +They would scream and fall over in terror while he positively laughed at +them over his shoulder as he cantered off to try it on somewhere else. +The camp was divided in its opinion of Wuzzy, or rather I should say +quartered--viz.--one quarter saw his points and the other three-quarters +decidedly did not! + +A priceless article appeared in one of the leading dailies entitled, +"Women Motor Drivers.--Is it a suitable occupation?" and was cut out by +anxious parents and forwarded with speed to the Convoy. + +The headlines ran: "The lure of the Wheel." "Is it necessary?" "The +after effects." We lapped it up with joy. Phrases such as "Women's +outlook on life will be distorted by the adoption of such a profession, +her finer instincts crushed," pleased us specially. It continued "All +the delicate things that mean, must mean, life to the feminine mind, +will lose their significance"--(cries of "What about the frillies you +bought in Paris, Pat?") "The uncongenial atmosphere"--I continued, +reading further--"of the garage, yard, and workshops, the alien +companionship of mechanics and chauffeurs will isolate her mental +standing" (shrieks of joy), "the ceaseless days and dull monotony of +labour will not only rob her of much feminine charm but will instil into +her mind bitterness that will eat from her heart all capacity for joy, +steal away her youth, and deprive her of the colour and sunlight of +life" (loud sobs from the listening F.A.N.Y.s, who still, strangely +enough, seemed to be suffering from no loss of _joie de vivre_!) When +the noise had subsided I continued: "There is of course the possibility +that she will become conscious of her condition and change of mind, and +realize her level in time to counteract the ultimate effects(!). The +realization however may come too late. The aptitude for happiness will +have gone by for the transitory joys of driving, the questionable +intricacies of the magneto--" but further details were suspended owing +to small bales of cotton waste hurtling through the air, and in self +defence I had to leave the "intricacies of the magneto" and pursue the +offenders round the camp! The only reply Boss could get as a reason for +the tumult was that the F.A.N.Y.s were endeavouring to "realize the +level of their minds." "Humph," was Boss's comment, "First I've heard +that some of them even had any," and retired into her hut. + +We often had to take wounded German prisoners to No. 14 hospital, about +30 kilometres away. On these occasions we always had three armed guards +to prevent them from escaping. The prisoners looked like convicts with +their shorn heads and shoddy grey uniforms, and I always found it very +difficult to imagine these men capable of fighting at all. They seemed +pretty content with their lot and often tried to smile ingratiatingly at +the drivers. One day going along the sea road one of them poked me in +the back through the canvas against which we leant when driving and +said, "Ni--eece Englessh Mees!" I was furious and used the most forcible +German I could think of at a moment's notice. "Cheek!" I said to the +guard sitting beside me on the box, "I'd run them over the cliff for +tuppence." + +He got the wind up entirely: "Oh, Miss," he said, in an anxious voice, +"for Gawd's sake don't. Remember we're on board as well." + +The Rifle brigade came in to rest after the Guards had gone, and before +they left again for the line, gave a big race meeting on the sands. +Luckily for us there was no push on just then, and work was in +consequence very slack. A ladies' race was included in the Programme for +our benefit. It was one of the last events, and until it came off we +amused ourselves riding available mules, much to the delight of the +Tommies, who cheered and yelled and did their best to get them to "take +off!" They were hard and bony and had mouths like old sea boots, but it +was better than toiling in the deep sand. + +There were about fourteen entries for our race, several of them from +Lamarck, and we all drew for polo ponies lent from the Brigade. Their +owners were full of instructions as to the best method to get them +along. We cantered up to the starting post, and there was some delay +while Renny got her stirrups right. This was unfortunate, as our ponies +got a bit "cold." At last the flag fell, and we were off! It was +ripping; and the excitement of that race beat anything I've ever known. +As we thundered over the sands I began to experience the joys of seeing +the horses in front "coming back" to me, as our old jockey stable-boy +used to describe. Heasy came in first, MacDougal second, and Winnie and +I tied third. It was a great race entirely, and all too short by a long +way. + +One day I was detailed to drive the Matron and our section leader to a +fete of sorts for Belgian refugee orphans. On the way back, crossing the +swing bridge, we met Betty driving the sisters to their billets. I +thought Matron wanted to speak to them and luckily, as it turned out, I +slowed down. She changed her mind, however, and I was just picking up +again as we came abreast, when from behind Betty's car sprang a woman +right in front of mine (after her hat it appeared later, which the wind +had just blown across the road). The apparition was so utterly +unforeseen and unexpected that she was bowled over like a rabbit in two +shakes. I jammed on the brakes and we sprang out, and saw she was under +the car in between the wheel and the chassis. Luckily she was a small +thin woman, and as Gaspard has so eloquently expressed it on another +occasion, _platte comme une punaise_ (flat as a drawing-pin). I was +horrified, the whole thing had happened so suddenly. A crowd of French +and Belgian soldiers collected, and I rapidly directed them to lift the +front of the car up by the springs, as it seemed the only way of getting +her out without further injury. I turned away, not daring to look, and +as I did so my eye caught sight of some hair near one of the back +wheels! That finished me up! I did not stop to reason that of course the +back wheels had not touched her, and thought, "My God, I've scalped +her!" and I leant over the railings feeling exceedingly sick. A friendly +M.P. who had seen the whole thing, patted me on the arm and said, "Now, +then, Miss, don't you take on, that's only her false 'air," as indeed +it proved to be! The woman was yelling and groaning, "_Mon Dieu, je suis +tuee_," but according to the "red hat" she was as "right as rain, +nothing but 'ysteria." I blessed that M.P. and hoped we would meet +again. We helped her on to the front seat, where Thompson supported her, +while I drove to hospital to see if any damage had been done. Singularly +enough, she was only suffering from bruises and a torn skirt, and of +course the loss of her "false 'air" (which I had refused to touch, it +had given me such a turn). I can only hope her husband, who was with her +at the time, picked it up. He followed to hospital and gave her a most +frightful scolding, adding that of course the "Mees" could not do +otherwise than knock her down if she so foolishly sprang in front of +cars without warning; and she might think herself lucky that the "Mees" +would not run her in for being in the way! It has always struck me as +being so humorous that in England if you knock a pedestrian over they +can have you up, while in France the law is just the reverse. She sobbed +violently, and I had to tell him that what she wanted was sympathy and +not scolding. + +It took me a day or two to get over that scalping expedition (of course +the story was all round the camp within the hour!) and for some time +after I slowed down crossing the bridge. This was the one and only time +anything of the sort ever happened to me, thank goodness! + +Our camp began to look very smart, and the seeds we had sown in the +spring came up and covered the huts with creepers. We had as many +flowers inside our huts as we could possibly get into the shell cases +and other souvenirs which perforce were turned into flower vases--a +change they must have thought rather singular. The steady boom of the +guns used to annoy me intensely, for it shook the petals off the roses +long before they would otherwise have fallen, and I used to call out, +crossly, "_Do_ stop that row, you're simply ruining my flowers." But +that made no difference to the distant gunners, who carried on night and +day causing considerably more damage than the falling petals from my +roses! + +We began to classify the new girls as they came out, jokingly calling +them "Kitchener's" Army, "Derby's Scheme," and finally, "Conscripts." +The old "regulars" of course put on most fearful side. It was amusing +when an air-raid warning (a siren known as "mournful Mary") went at Mess +and the shrapnel began to fly, to see the new girls all rush out to +watch the little white balls bursting in the sky, and the old hands not +turning a hair but going on steadily with the bully beef or Maconochie, +whichever it happened to be. Then one by one the new ones would slink +back rather ashamed of their enthusiasm and take their seats, and in +time they in turn would smile indulgently as the still newer ones dashed +out to watch. + +We had no dug-out to go to, even if we had wanted to. Our new mess tent +was built in the summer; and we said good-bye for ever to the murky +gloom of the old Indian flapper. + +One day I had gone out to tea with Logan and Chris to an "Archie" +station at Pont le Beurre. During a pause I heard the following +conversation take place. + +Host to Logan: "I suppose, being in a Convoy Camp, you hear nothing but +motor shop the whole time, and get to know quite a lot about them?" + +"Rather," replied Logan, who between you and me hardly knew one end of a +car from the other, "I'm becoming quite conversant with the different +parts. One hears people exclaiming constantly: 'I've mislaid my big end +and can't think where I've put the carburettor!'" The host, who appeared +to know as much as she did, nodded sympathetically. + +Chris and I happened to catch the Captain's eye, and we laughed for +about five minutes. That big-end story went the round of the camp too, +you may be quite sure. + +Besides the regular work of barges, evacuation, and trains we had to do +all the ambulance work for the outlying camps, and cars were regularly +detailed for special _depots_ the whole day long. Barges arrived mostly +in the mornings, and I think the patients in them were more surprised +than anyone to see girls driving out there, and were often not a little +fearful as to how we would cope! It was comforting to overhear them say +to each other on the journey: "This is fine, mate, ain't it?" + +When we drove the cases to the hospital ships the long quay along which +we took them barely allowed two cars to pass abreast. Turning when the +car was empty was therefore a ticklish business, and there was only one +place where it could be done. If you made a slip, there was nothing +between you and the sea 50 feet below. There was a dip in the platform +at one point, and by backing carefully on to this, it was just possible +to turn, but to do so necessitated running forward in the direction of +the quay, where there was barely the space of a foot left between the +front wheel and the edge. I know, sitting in the car, I never could see +any edge at all. If by any chance you misjudged this dip and backed +against the edge of the platform by mistake the car, unable to mount it, +rebounded and slid forward! It was always rather a breathless +performance at first; and beginners, rather than risk it, backed the +whole length of the quay. I did so myself the first time, but it was +such a necktwisting performance I felt I'd rather risk a ducking. With +practice we were able to judge to a fraction just how near the edge we +could risk going, and the men on the hospital ships would hold their +breath at the (I hope pardonable) swank of some of the more daring +spirits who went just as near as they could and then looked up and +laughed as they drove down the quay. After I was in hospital in England, +I heard that a new hand lost her head completely, and in Eva's newly +painted 'bus executed a spinning nose-dive right over the quay. A sight +I wouldn't have missed for worlds. As she "touched water," however, the +F.A.N.Y. spirit predominated. She was washed through the back of the +ambulance (luckily the front canvas was up), and as it sank she +gallantly kicked off from the roof of the fast disappearing car. She was +an excellent swimmer, but two R.A.M.C. men sprang overboard to her +rescue, and I believe almost succeeded in drowning her in their efforts! +This serves to show what an extremely touchy job it was, and one we had +to perform in fogs or the early hours of a winter's morning when it was +almost too dark to see anything. Some Red Cross men drivers from Havre +watched us once, and declared their quay down there was wider by several +feet, but no one ever turned on it. It seemed odd at home to see two +girls on army ambulances. We went distances of sixty miles or more +alone, only taking an orderly when the cases were of a very serious +nature and likely to require attention _en route_. + +Once I remember I was returning from taking a new medical officer (a +cheerful individual, whose only remark during the whole of that +fifteen-mile run was, "I'm perished!") to an outlying camp. I wondered +at first if that was his name and he was introducing himself, but one +glance was sufficient to prove otherwise! On the way back alone, I +paused to ask the way, as I had to return by another route. The man I +had stopped (whom at first I had taken to be a Frenchman) was a German +prisoner, so I started on again; but wherever I looked there were +nothing but Germans, busily working at these quarries. No guards were +in sight, as far as I could see, and I wondered idly if they would take +it into their heads to hold up the car, brain me, and escape. It was +only a momentary idea though, for looking at these men, they seemed to +be quite incapable of thinking of anything so original. + +Coming back from B. one day I started a huge hare, and with the utmost +difficulty prevented the good Susan from turning off the road, lepping +the ditch, and pursuing 'puss' across the flat pastures. Some sporting +'bus, I tell you! + +The Tanks made their first appearance in September, and weird and +wonderful were the descriptions given by the different men I asked whom +I carried on my ambulance. They appeared to be anything in size from a +hippopotamus to Buckingham Palace. It was one of the best kept secrets +of the war. When anyone asked what was being made in the large foundries +employed they received the non-committal reply "Tanks," and so the name +stuck. + +My last leave came off in the autumn, and while I was at home Lamarck +Hospital closed on its second anniversary--October 31, 1916. The +Belgians now had a big hut hospital at the Porte de Gravelines, and +wished to concentrate what sick and wounded they had there, instead of +having so many small hospitals. A great celebration took place, and +there was much bouquet handing and speechifying, etc. + +Our work for the Belgians did not cease with the closing of Lamarck, and +a convoy was formed with the Gare Centrale as its headquarters, and so +released the men drivers for the line. The hospital staff and equipment +moved to Epernay, where a hospital was opened for the French in an old +Monastery and also a convoy of F.A.N.Y. ambulances and cars was +attached, so that now we had units working for the British, French, and +Belgians. Another unit was the one down at Camp de Ruchard, where +Crockett so ably ran a canteen for 700 convalescent Belgian soldiers, +while Lady Baird, with a trained nurse, looked after the consumptives, +of whom there were several hundreds. It will thus be seen that the +F.A.N.Y. was essentially an "active service" Corps with no units in +England at all. + +I had a splendid leave, which passed all too quickly, and oddly enough +before I left home I had a sort of premonition that something was going +to happen; so much so that I even left an envelope with instructions of +what I wanted done with such worldly goods as I possessed. I felt that +in making such arrangements I might possibly avert any impending +catastrophe! + +Heasy was on leave as well, and the day we were due to go back was a +Sunday. The train was to leave Charing Cross at four, which meant that +we would not embark till seven or thereabouts. It was wet and blustery, +and I did not relish the idea of crossing in the dark at all, and could +not help laughing at myself for being so funky. I had somehow quite made +up my mind we were going to be torpedoed. The people I was staying with +ragged me hard about it. It was the 5th of November, too! As I stepped +out of the taxi at Charing Cross and handed my kit to the porter, he +asked: "Boat train, Miss?" I nodded. "Been cancelled owin' to storm," he +said cheerfully. I leapt out, and I think I shook him by the hand in my +joy. France is all right when you get there; but the day you return is +like going back to school. The next minute I saw Heasy's beaming face, +and we were all over each other at the prospect of an extra day. My old +godfather, who had come to see me off, was the funniest of all--a +peppery Indian edition. "Not going?" he exclaimed, "I never heard of +such a thing! In my day there was not all this chopping and changing." I +pointed out that he might at least express his joy that I was to be at +home another day, and fuming and spluttering we returned to the D's. +It's rather an anti-climax, after saying good-bye and receiving +everyone's blessing, to turn up suddenly once more! + +Heasy and I duly met at Charing Cross next morning, to hear that once +more the leave boat had been cancelled owing to loosened mines floating +about. Again I returned to my friends who by this time seemed to think I +had "come to stay." On the Wednesday (we were now getting to know all +the porters quite well by sight) we really did get off; but when we +arrived at Folkestone it was to find the platform crammed with returning +leave-men and officers, and to hear the same tale--the boat had _again_ +been cancelled. None of the officers were being allowed to return to +town, but by dint of good luck and a little palm oil, we dashed into a +cab and reached the other station just in time to catch the up-going +train. "We stay at an hotel to-night," I said to Heasy, "I positively +won't turn up at the D's _again_." We got to town in time for lunch, and +then went to see the _Happy Day_, at Daly's (very well named we +thought), where Heasy's brother was entertaining a party. He had seen us +off, "positively for the last time," at 7.30 that morning. We saw him in +the distance, and in the interval we instructed the programme girl to +take round a slip of paper on which we printed:--"If you will come round +to Stalls 21 and 22 you will hear of something to your advantage." +George Heasman came round utterly mystified, and when he saw us once +more, words quite failed him! + +On the Thursday down we went again, and this time we actually _did_ get +on board, though they kept us hanging about on the Folkestone platform +for hours before they decided, and the rain dripped down our necks from +that inadequate wooden roofing that had obviously been put up by some +war profiteer on the cheap. The congestion was something frightful, and +there were twelve hundred on board instead of the usual seven or eight. +"We can't blow _over_ at any rate," I said cheerfully to Heasy, in a +momentary lull in the gale. There were so many people on board that +there was just standing room and that was all. We hastily swallowed some +more Mother-sill and hoped for the best (we had consumed almost a whole +boxful owing to our many false starts). We were in the highest spirits. +The only other woman on board was an army sister, who came and stood +near us. Lifebelts were ordered to be put on, and as I tied Heasy's the +aforementioned Sister turned to me and said: "You ought to tie that +tighter; it will come undone very easily in the waves!" Heasy and I were +convulsed, and so were all the people within earshot. "You mustn't be so +cheerful," I said, as soon as I could speak. + +It was the roughest crossing I've ever experienced, and there was no +time to indulge in "that periscope feeling," so aptly described by +Bairnsfather; we were too busy exercising Christian Science on our +"innards" and trying not to think of all the indigestible things we'd +eaten the night before! We rose on mountains of waves one moment and +then descended into positive valleys the next. I swear I would have been +perfectly all right if I had not heard an officer say "I hope it will +not be too rough to get into Boulogne harbour. The last time I crossed +we had to return to Folkestone!" * * * * Luckily his fears were +incorrect, and at last we arrived in the harbour, and I never was so +glad to see France in all my life! The F.A.N.Y.s had almost given us up +for good, and were all very envious when they heard of our adventures. + +Towards the end of that month the "Britannic," a hospital ship, was +torpedoed. As a preventive measure against future outrages of the kind +(not that it would have made the Germans hesitate for a moment) twenty +prisoners were detailed to accompany each hospital ship on the voyage to +England. These men, under one of their own Sergeant-Majors, sat on the +edge of the platform until all the wounded were on board, and then were +marched on into a little wooden shelter specially erected. As they sat +on the edge, their feet rested on the narrow quay along which we drove, +and I loved to go as near as possible and pretend I was going over them, +just for the fun of watching the Boches roll on their backs in terror +with their feet high in the air. A new method of saying _Kamerad_! Those +prisoners did not care for me very much, I don't think, and I always +hope I shan't meet any of them _apres la guerre_. Unfortunately this +pastime was stopped by the vigilant E.M.O. + +My hut was closed for "winter decorations," and the creme de menthe +coloured panthers were covered up by a hunting frieze. It was a +priceless show, one of the field appearing in a _chic_ pair of red +gloves! I suppose they had some extra paint over from the pink coats. +Scene I. was the meet, with the fox lurking well within sight behind a +small gorse bush, but funnily enough not a hound got wind of him. Scene +III. was a good water-jump where one of the field had taken a toss right +into the middle of a stream. Considering the sandy spot he had chosen as +a take-off, he had no one to thank but himself. A lady further up on a +grey, obviously suffering from spavin, was sailing over like a two-year +old. The last scene was of course a kill, the gentleman in the pink +gloves on the black horse being well to the fore. Altogether it was most +pleasing. Silk hunting "hankies" in yellow and other vivid colours, +ditto with full field, took the place of the now chilly looking +Reckitt's blue, and a Turkey rug on the floor completed the +transformation. + +When an early evacuation was not in progress, breakfast was at eight +o'clock, and at 10 minutes to, the whistles went for parade, which was +held in the square just in front of the cars. Those who were late were +put on fatigues without more ado, but in the ordinary way if there were +no delinquents we took it in turns, two every day. + +Often when that first whistle went, it found a good many of us still +"complete in flea-bag," and that scramble to get into things and appear +"fully dressed" was an art in itself. An overcoat, muffler, and a pair +of field boots went a long way to complete this illusion. Once however, +Boss, to everyone's pained surprise, said, "Will the troopers kindly +take off their overcoats!" With great reluctance this was done amid +shouts of laughter as three of us stood divested of coats in gaudy +pyjamas. + +Fatigue consisted of two things: One--"Tidying up the Camp," which was a +comprehensive term and meant folding up everyone's bonnet covers and +putting them in neat piles near the mess hut, collecting cotton waste +and grease tins, etc., and weeding the garden (a rotten job). The second +was called "Doing the stoke-hole," i.e. cleaning out the ashes from the +huge boiler that heated the bath water, chopping sticks, laying the +fire, and brushing the "hole" up generally. + +Opinions were divided as to the merits of those two jobs. Neither was +popular of course, but we could choose. The latter certainly had its +points, because once done it was done for the day, while the former +might be tidy at nine, and yet by 10 o'clock lumps of cotton waste might +be blowing all over the place, tins and bonnet covers once more in +untidy heaps. I often "did the boiler," but I simply hated chopping the +sticks. One day the axe was firmly fixed in a piece of hard wood and I +was vainly hitting it against the block, with eyes tight shut, when I +heard a chuckle from the top of the steps. I looked up and there was a +Tommy looking down into the hole, watching the proceedings. Where he'd +come from I don't know. "Call those 'ands?" he asked. "'Ere, give it to +me"--indicating the axe. "I guess y'aint chopped many sticks, 'ave yer?" +"No," I said; "and I'm terrified of the thing!" I sat on the steps and +watched him deftly slicing the wood into thin slips. "This is a +fatigue," I said, by way of an explanation. That tickled him! He stopped +and chuckled, "You do fatigues just the same as we do?" he asked. "I +never heard anything to beat that. Well I never, wot's the crime, I +wonder? Look 'ere," he added, "I'll chop you enough to last fatigues for +a month, and you put 'em somewhere in the meantime," and in ten +minutes, mark you, there was a pile that rejoiced my heart. He was a +"Bird," that man, and no mistake. + +After brekker was over the first thing that had to be done before +anything else was to get one's 'bus running and in order for the day. +Once that was done we could do our huts, provided no jobs had come in; +and when that was done the engine had to be thoroughly cleaned, and then +the car. I might add that this is an ideal account of the proceedings +for, as often as not, we went out the minute the cars were started. +Three days elapsed sometimes before the hut could have a "turn out." On +these occasions one just rolled into one's bed at night unmade and +unturned, too tired to care one way or the other. + +Some of the girls got a Frenchwoman, "Alice" by name, to do their "cues" +for them. She used to bring her small baby with her and dump him down +anywhere in the corridor, sometimes in a waste paper basket, till she +was done. One morning he howled bitterly for about an hour, and at last +I went out to see what could be the matter. "Oh, Mees, it is that he has +burnt himself against the stove, the careless one" (he couldn't walk, so +it must have been her own fault). "I took him to a _Pharmacie_ but he +has done nothing but cry ever since." + +Now I had fixed up a small _Pharmacie_ in one of the empty "cues," +complete with sterilised dressings and rows of bottles, and bandaged up +whatever cuts and hurts there were, in fact my only sorrow was there +were not more "cases." Considering the many men we had had at Lamarck +burnt practically all over from fire-bombs, I suggested that she should +bring the baby into the _Pharmacie_ and see if I could do anything for +it. She was quite willing, and carried it in, when I undid the little +arm (only about six inches long) burnt from the elbow to the wrist! The +chemist had simply planked on some zinc ointment and lint. I got some +warm boracic and soaked it off gently, though the little thing redoubled +its yells, and a small crowd of F.A.N.Y.s dashed down the passage to see +what was up. "It's only Pat killing a baby" was one of the cheerful +explanations I heard. So encouraging for me. I dressed it with Carron +oil and to my relief the wails ceased. She brought it every morning +after that, and I referred proudly to my "out-patient" who made great +progress. Within ten days the arm had healed up, and Alice was my +devoted follower from that time on. + +We had a lot of work that autumn, and barges came down regularly as +clockwork. Many of these cases were taken to the Duchess of Sutherland's +Hospital. She had given up the Bourbourg Belgian one some time before +and now had one for the British, where the famous Carroll-Dakin +treatment was given. One night, taking some cases to the Casino +hospital, there was a boy on board with his eyes bandaged. He had +evidently endeared himself to the Sister on the train, for she came +along with the stretcher bearers and saw him safely into my car. +"Good-bye, Sister," I heard him say, in a cheery voice, "thank you a +thousand times for your kindness--you wait till my old eyes are better +and I'll come back and see you. I know you must look nice," he +continued, with a laugh, "you've got such a kind voice." + +Tears were in her eyes as she came round to speak to me and whisper that +it was a hopeless case; he had been so severely injured he would never +see again. + +I raged inwardly against the powers that cared not a jot who suffered so +long as their own selfish ends were achieved. + +That journey was one of the worst I've ever done. If the boy had not +been so cheerful it would have been easier, but there he lay chatting +breezily to me through the canvas, wanting to know all about our work +and asking hundreds of questions. "You wait till I get home," he said, +"I'll have the best eye chap there is, you bet your life. By Jove, it +will be splendid to get these bandages off, and see again." + +Was the war worth even one boy's eyesight? No, I thought not. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +CHRISTMAS, 1916 + + +Taking some wounded Germans to No. 14 hospital one afternoon we were +stopped on the way by a road patrol, a new invention to prevent +joy-riding. Two Tommies rushed out from the hedges, like highwaymen of +old, waving little red flags (one of the lighter efforts of the War +Office). Perforce we had to draw up while one of them went into the +_Estaminet_ (I noticed they always chose their quarters well) to bring +out the officer. His job was to examine papers and passes, and sort the +sheep from the goats, allowing the former to proceed and turning the +latter away! + +The man in question was evidently new to the work and was exceedingly +fussy and officious. He scanned my pink pass for some time and then +asked, "Where are you going?" "Wimereux," I replied promptly. He looked +at the pass again--"It's got "_W_imer_oo_," here, and not what _you_ +said," he answered suspiciously. "Some people pronounce it 'Vimerer,' +nevertheless," I could not refrain from replying, rather tartly. + +Again he turned to the pass, and as it started to snow in stinging +gusts (and I was so obviously one of the "sheep"), I began to chafe at +the delay. + +As if anyone would joy-ride in such weather without a wind screen, I +thought disgustedly. (None of the cars had them.) + +"Whom have you got in behind?" was the next query. + +I leant forward as if imparting a secret of great importance, and said, +in a stage whisper: "Germans!" + +He jumped visibly, and the two flag-wagging Tommies grinned delightedly. +After going to the back to find out if this was so, he at last very +reluctantly returned my pass. + +"Thinks we're all bloomin' spies," said one of the guards, as at last we +set off to face the blinding snow, that literally was blinding, it was +so hard to see. The only method was to shut first one eye and then the +other, so that they could rest in turns! + +On the way back we passed a motor hearse stuck on the Wimereux hill with +four coffins in behind, stretcher-wise. + +The guard gave a grunt. "Humph," said he, "They makes yer form fours +right up to the ruddy grave, they do!" + +We were not so far from civilization in our Convoy as one might have +supposed, for among the men in the M.T. yard was a hairdresser from the +Savoy Hotel! + +He made a diffident call on Boss one day and said it would give him +great pleasure to shampoo and do up the "young ladies' hair" for them in +his spare time "to keep his hand in." He was afraid if the war lasted +much longer he might forget the gentle art! + +We rose to the occasion and were only too delighted, and from then +onwards he became a regular institution up at the Convoy. + +News was brought to us of the torpedoing of the "Sussex," and the +terrible suffering the crew and passengers endured. It was thought after +she was struck she would surely sink, and many deaths by drowning +occurred owing to overcrowding the lifeboats. Like the "Zulu," however, +when day dawned it was found she was able to come into Boulogne under +her own steam. After driving some cases over there, I went to see the +remains in dry dock. It was a ghastly sight, made all the more poignant +as one could see trunks and clothes lying about in many of the cabins, +which were open to the day as if a transverse section had been made. The +only humorous incident that occurred was that King Albert was arrested +while taking a photo of it! I don't think for a moment they recognized +who he was, for, with glasses, and a slight stoop, he does not look +exactly like the photos one sees, and they probably imagined he was +bluffing. He was marched off looking intensely amused! One of the French +guards, when I expressed my disappointment at not being able to get a +photo, gave me the address of a friend of his who had taken some +official ones for France, so I hurried off, and was lucky to get them. + +The weather became atrocious as the winter advanced and our none too +water-tight huts showed distinct signs of warping. We only had one +thickness of matchboarding in between us and the elements, and, without +looking out of the windows, I could generally ascertain through the +slits what was going on in the way of weather. I had chosen my "cue" +looking sea-ward because of the view and the sunsets, but then that was +in far away Spring. Eva's was next door, and even more exposed than +mine. When we happened to mention this state of affairs to Colonel C., +he promised us some asbestos to line the outer wall if we could find +someone to put it up. + +Another obliging friend lent us his carpenter to do the job--a burly +Scot. The fact that we cleaned our own cars and went about the camp in +riding breeches and overalls, not unlike land-girls' kit, left him +almost speechless. + +The first day all he could say was, "Weel, weel, I never did"--at +intervals. + +The second day he had recovered himself sufficiently to look round and +take a little notice. + +"Ye're one o' them artists, I'm thinkin'," he said, eyeing my panthers +disparagingly. (The hunting frieze had been taken down temporarily till +the asbestos was fixed.) + +"No, you mustn't think that," I said apologetically. + +"Ha ye no men to do yon dirty worrk for ye?" and he nodded in direction +of the cars. "Scandalizing, and no less," was his comment when he heard +there were not. In two days' time he reported to his C.O. that the job +was finished, and the latter overheard him saying to a pal, "Aye mon, +but A've had ma outlook on life broadened these last two days." B. +'phoned up hastily to the Convoy to know what exactly we had done with +his carpenter. + +Work was slack in the Autumn owing to the fearful floods of rain, and +several of the F.A.N.Y.s took up fencing and went once a week at eight +o'clock to a big "Salle d'Escrime" off the Rue Royale. A famous Belgian +fencer, I forget his name, and a Frenchman, both stationed in the +vicinity, instructed, and "Squig" kindly let me take her lessons when +she was on leave. Fencing is one of the best tests I know for teaching +you to keep your temper. When my foil had been hit up into the air about +three times in succession to the triumphant _Riposte!_ of the little +Frenchman, I would determine to keep "Quite cool." In spite of all, +however, when I lunged forward it was with rather a savage stamp, which +he would copy delightedly and exclaim triumphantly--"Mademoiselle se +fache!" I could have killed that Frenchman cheerfully! His quick orders +"_Pare, pare--quatre, pare--contre--Riposte!_" etc. left me +completely bewildered at first. Hope was a great nut with the foils and +she and the Frenchman had veritable battles, during which the little +man, on his mettle and very excited, would squeal exactly like a +rabbit. The big Belgian was more phlegmatic and not so easily moved. + +One night I espied a pair of boxing gloves and pulled them on while +waiting for my turn. "Mademoiselle knows _la boxe_?" he asked +interestedly. + +"A little, a very little, Monsieur," I replied. "Only what my brother +showed me long ago." + +"Montrez," said he, drawing on a pair as well, and much to the amusement +of the others we began preliminary sparring. "Mademoiselle knows +_ze-k_-nock-oot?" he hazarded. + +I did not reply, for at that moment he lifted his left arm, leaving his +heart exposed. Quick as lightning I got in a topper that completely +winded him and sent him reeling against the wall. When he got his breath +back he laughed till the tears rolled down his cheeks, and whenever I +met him in the street he flew up a side alley in mock terror. I was +always designated after that as _Mademoiselle qui sait la boxe--oh, la +la_! + +In spite of repeated efforts on the part of R.E.s. there was a spot in +the roof through which the rain persistently dripped on to my face in +the night. They never could find it, so the only solution was to sleep +the other way up! _C'est la guerre_, and that's all there was to it. + +One cold blustery day I had left "Susan" at the works in Boulogne and +was walking along by the fish market when I saw a young fair-haired +staff officer coming along the pavement toward me. "His face is very +familiar," I thought to myself, and then, quick as a flash--"Why, it's +the Prince of Wales, of course!" He seemed to be quite alone, and except +for ourselves the street was deserted. How to cope? To bob or not to +bob, that was the question? Then I suddenly realized that in a stiff +pair of Cording's boots and a man's sheepskin-lined mackintosh, sticking +out to goodness knows where, it would be a sheer impossibility. I +hastily reviewed the situation. If I salute, I thought, he may think I'm +taking a liberty! I decided miserably to do neither and hoped he would +think I had not recognized him at all.[13] As we came abreast I looked +straight ahead, getting rather pink the while. Once past and calling +myself all manner of fools, I thought "I'm going to turn round, and +stare. One doesn't meet a Prince every day, and in any case 'a cat may +look at a king!'" I did so--the Prince was turning round too! He smiled +delightfully, giving me a wonderful salute, which I returned and went on +my way joyfully, feeling that it had been left to him to save the +situation, and very proud to think I had had a salute all to myself. + +Christmas came round before we knew where we were, and Boss gave the +order it was to be celebrated in our own mess. Work was slack just then +and Mrs. Williams gave a tea and dance in the afternoon at her canteen +up at Fontinettes. It was a picturesque-looking place with red brick +floor, artistic-looking tables with rough logs for legs and a large open +fireplace, typically English, which must have rejoiced the hearts of men +so far from Blighty. + +It was a very jolly show, in spite of my partner bumping his head +against the beam every time we went round, and people came from far and +near. It was over about five, and we hastened back to prepare for our +Christmas dinner in Mess. + +Fancy dress had been decided on, and as it was to be only among +ourselves we were given carte blanche as to ideas. They were of course +all kept secret until the last moment. Baby went as a Magpie and looked +very striking, the black and white effect being obtained by draping a +white towel straight down one side over the black nether garments +belonging to our concert party kit. + +I decided to go as a _Vie Parisienne_ cover. A study in black and +daffodil--a ravishing confection--and also used part of our "FANTASTIK" +kit, but made the bodice out of crinkly yellow paper. A chrysanthemum of +the same shade in my hair, which was skinned back in the latest +door-knob fashion, completed the get-up. + +Baby and I met on our way across the camp and drifted into mess +together, and as we slowly divested ourselves of our grey wolf-coats we +were hailed with yells of delight. + +Dicky went as Charlie's Aunt, and Winnie as the irresistible nephew. Eva +was an art student from the Quartier Latin, and Bridget a charming +two-year old. The others came in many and various disguises. + +We all helped to clear away in order to dance afterwards, and as I ran +into the cook-house with some plates I met the mechanic laden with the +tray from his hut. + +The momentary glimpse of the _Vie Parisienne_ was almost too much for +the good Brown. I heard a startled "Gor blimee! Miss" and saw his eyes +popping out of his head as he just prevented the tray from eluding his +grasp! + +Soon after Christmas a grain-ship, while entering Boulogne harbour in a +storm, got blown across and firmly fixed between the two jetties, which +are not very wide apart. To make matters worse its back broke and so +formed an effectual barrier to the harbour and took from a fortnight to +three weeks to clear away. + +Traffic was diverted to the other ports, and for the time being Boulogne +became almost like a city of the dead. + +One port had been used solely for hospital ships up till then, and the +scenes of bustle and confusion that replaced the comparative calm were +almost indescribable. We saw many friends returning from Christmas +leave, who for the most part had not the faintest idea where they had +arrived. There were not enough military cars to transport the men to +Fontinettes, so besides our barge and hospital work we were temporarily +commissioned by the Local Transport Office. + +I was detailed to take two officers inspecting the Archic stations north +of St. Omer one wet snowy afternoon, and many were the adventures we +had. It was a great thing to get up right behind our lines to places +where we had never been before, and Susan ploughed through the mud like +a two-year old, and never even so much as punctured. We were on our way +back at a little place called Pont l'Abbesse, about 6.30, when the snow +came down in blinding gusts. With only two side lamps, and a pitch dark +night, the prospect of ever finding our way home seemed nil, and every +road we took was bordered by a deep canal, with nothing in the way of a +fence as protection. It was bitterly cold, and once we got completely +lost; three-quarters of an hour later finding ourselves at the same +cottage where we had previously asked the way! + +At last we found a staff car that promised to give us a lead, and in +time we reached the main St. Omer road, finally getting back to +Pont-le-Beurre about 10 p.m. I 'phoned up to the Convoy to tell them I +was still in the land of the living, and after a bowl of hot soup sped +back to camp. + +My hands were so cold I had to sit on them in turns, and as for feet, I +didn't seem to have any. Still it was "some run," and the next day I +spent a long time hosing off the thick clay which almost completely hid +the good Susan from sight. + +Another temporary job we had was to drive an army sister (a sort of +female Military Landing Officer) to the boat every day, where she met +the sisters coming back from leave and directed them to the different +units and hospitals. + +One of the results of the closing of Boulogne harbour was that instead +of the patients being evacuated straight to England we had to drive +them into Boulogne, where they were entrained for Havre! A terrible +journey, poor things. Twenty to twenty-four ambulances would set off to +do the thirty kilometres in convoy, led at a steady pace by the Section +Leader. These journeys took place three times a week, and often the men +would get bitterly cold inside the cars. If there was one puncture in +the Convoy we all had to stop till a spare wheel was put on. We eagerly +took the opportunity to get down and do stamping exercises and "cabby" +arms to try and get warm. To my utmost surprise, on one of these +occasions my four stretcher patients got up and danced in the road with +me. Why they were "liers" instead of "sitters" I can't think, as there +was not much wrong with them. _A propos_ I remember asking one night +when an ambulance train came in in the dark, "Are you liers or sitters +in here?" and one humorist scratched his head and replied, "I don't +rightly know, Sister, I've told a few in my time!" To return to our long +convoy journeys: once we had deposited our patients it was not +unnaturally the desire of this "dismounted cavalry" unit to try the +speed of its respective 'buses one against the other on the return +journey; to our immense disappointment this idea was completely nipped +in the bud, for Boss rode on the first car. + +Permission however was given to pass on hills, as it was considered a +pity to overheat a car going down to second gear when it could easily +have done the hill on third! That Boulogne road is one of the hilliest +in France, and Susan was a nailer on hills. I remember arriving in camp +second one day. "How have _you_ got here?" asked Boss in surprise, "I +purposely put you nineteenth!" + +Heasy, Betty, and I in celebration of two years' active service had +permission to give a small dance in the mess at the beginning of the new +year. We trembled lest at the last moment an ambulance train might +arrive, but there was nothing worse than an early evacuation next +morning and all went off excellently. I was entrusted to make the "cup," +and bought the ingredients in the town (some cup), and gravely assured +everyone there was absolutely "nothing in it." The boracic powder was +lifted in my absence from the _Pharmacie_ to try and get the first +glimmerings of a slide on that sticky creosoted floor. The ambulances, +fitted with paper Chinese lanterns, were temporarily converted into +sitting out places. It was a great show. + +There was one job in the Convoy we all loathed like poison; it was known +as "corpses." There was no chance of dodging unpopular jobs, for they +worked out on an absolutely fair system. For instance, the first time +the telephone bell went after 8 a.m. (anything before that was counted +night duty) it was taken by a girl whose name came first in alphabetical +order. She rushed out to her car, but before going "warned" B. that when +the bell next went it would be _her_ job, and so on throughout the day. +If you were "warned," it was an understood thing that you did not begin +any long job on the car but stayed more or less in readiness. If the +jobs got half through the alphabet by nightfall the last girl warned +knew she was first for it the next morning. + +To return to the corpses. What happened was that men were frequently +falling into the canals and docks and were not discovered till perhaps +three weeks later. An ambulance was then rung up, and the corpse, or +what remained of it, was taken to the mortuary. + +One day Bobs was called on to give evidence at a Court of Enquiry with +regard to a corpse she had driven, as there was some mystification with +regard to the day and hour at which it was found. As she stepped smartly +up to the table the Colonel asked her how, when it occurred some ten +days ago, she could be sure it was 4.30 when she arrived on the scene. + +"It was like this," said she. "When I heard it was a corpse, I thought +I'd have my tea first!" (This was almost as bad as the tape measure +episode and was of course conclusive. I might add, corpses were the only +jobs that were not allowed to interfere with meals.) + +"Foreign bodies," in the shape of former Belgian patients, often drifted +up to camp in search of the particular "Mees" who had tended them at +Lamarck, as often as not bringing souvenirs made at great pains in the +trenches as tokens of their gratitude. It touched us very much to know +that they had not forgotten. + +One night when my evening duty was nearing its close and I was just +preparing to go to my hut the telephone bell rang, and I was told to go +down to the hospital ship we had just loaded that afternoon for a man +reported to be in a dying condition, and not likely to stand the journey +across to England--I never could understand why those cases should have +been evacuated at all if there was any possibility of them becoming +suddenly worse; but I suppose a certain number of beds had to be cleared +for new arrivals, and individuals could not be considered. It seemed +very hard. + +I drove down to the Quay in the inky blackness, it was a specially dark +night, turned successfully, and reported I had come for the case. + +An orderly, I am thankful to say, came with him in the car and sat +behind holding his hand. + +The boy called incessantly for his mother and seemed hardly to realize +where he was. I sat forward, straining my eyes in the darkness along +that narrow quay, on the look-out for the many holes I knew were only +too surely there. + +The journey seemed to take hours, and I answered a query of the +orderly's as to the distance. + +The boy heard my voice and mistook me for one of the Sisters, and then +followed one of the most trying half-hours I have ever been through. + +He seemed to regain consciousness to a certain extent and asked me from +time to time, + +"Sister, am I dying?" + +"Will I see me old mother again, Sister?" + +"Why have you taken me off the Blighty ship, Sister?" + +Then there would be silence for a space, broken only by groans and an +occasional "Christ, but me back 'urts crool," and all the comfort I +could give was that we would be there soon, and the doctor would do +something to ease the pain. + +Thank God, at last we arrived at the Casino. One of the most trying +things about ambulance driving is that while you long to get the patient +to hospital as quickly as possible you are forced to drive slowly. I +jumped out and cautioned the orderlies to lift him as gently as they +could, and he clung on to my hand as I walked beside the stretcher into +the ward. + +"You're telling me the truth, Sister? I don't want to die, I tell you +that straight," he said. "Goodbye and God bless you; I'll come and see +you in the morning," I said, and left him to the nurses' tender care. I +went down early next day but he had died at 3 a.m. Somebody's son and +only nineteen. That sort of job takes the heart out of you for some +days, though Heaven knows we ought to have got used to anything by that +time. + +To make up for the wet autumn a hard frost set in early in the year. + +The M.T. provided us with anti-freezing mixture for the radiators, but +the antifreezing cheerfully froze! We tried emptying them at night, +turning off the petrol and running the engine till the carburettor was +dry (for even the petrol was not above freezing), and wrapping up the +engines as carefully as if they were babies, but even that failed. + +Starting the cars up in the morning (a detail I see I have not mentioned +so far), even in ordinary times quite a hard job, now became doubly so. + +It was no uncommon sight to see F.A.N.Y.s lying supine across the +bonnets of their cars, completely winded by their efforts. The morning +air was full of sobbing breaths and groans as they swung in vain! This +process was known as "getting her loose"--(I'm referring to the car not +the F.A.N.Y., though, from personal experience, it's quite applicable to +both.) + +Brown or Johnson (the latter had replaced Kirkby) was secured to come if +possible and give the final fillip that set the engine going. It's a +well-known thing that you may turn at a car for ten minutes and not get +her going, and a fresh hand will come and do so the first time. + +This swinging left one feeling like nothing on earth, and sometimes was +a day's work in itself. + +In spite of all the precautions we took, whatever water was left in the +water pipes and drainings at the bottom of the radiators froze solidly, +and sure enough, when we had got them going, clouds of steam rose into +the air. The frost had come to stay and moreover it was a black one. + +Something had to be done to solve the problem for it was imperative for +every car to be ready for the road first thing in the morning. + +Camp fires were suggested, but were impracticable, and then it was that +"Night Guards" were instituted. + +Four girls sat up all night, and once every hour turned out to crank up +the cars, run them with bonnet covers on till they were thoroughly warm, +and then tuck them up again till the next time. We had from four to five +cars each, and it will give some idea of the extreme cold to say that +when we came to crank them again, in roughly three-quarters of an hour's +time, they were _almost_ cold. The noise must have been heard for some +distance when the whole Convoy was roaring and racing at once like a +small inferno. But in spite of this, I know that when it was not our +turn to sit up we others never woke. + +As soon as the cars were tucked up and silent again we raced back to the +cook-house, where we threw ourselves into deck chairs, played the +gramophone, made coffee to keep us awake, or read frightening books--I +remember I read "Bella Donna" on one of these occasions and wouldn't +have gone across the camp alone if you'd paid me. A grand midnight +supper also took up a certain amount of time. + +That three-quarters of an hour positively flew, and seemed more like ten +minutes, but punctually at the second we had to turn out again, +willy-nilly--into that biting cold with the moon shining frostily over +everything apparently turning it into steel. + +The trouble was that as the frost continued water became scarce--baths +had stopped long ago--and it began to be a question of getting even a +basinful to wash in. Face creams were extensively applied as the only +means of saving what little complexions we had left! The streets of the +town were in a terrible condition owing principally to the hygienic +customs of the inhabitants who _would_ throw everything out of their +front doors or windows. The consequence was that, without exaggeration, +the ice in some places was two feet thick, and every day fresh layers +were formed as the French housewives threw out more water. No one +remained standing in a perpendicular position for long, and the +difficulty was, once down, how to get up again. + +Finally water became so scarce we had to bring huge cans in a lorry from +the M.T., one of the few places not frozen out, and there was usually +ice on them when they arrived in camp. Then the water even began to +freeze as we filled up our radiators; and, finally, we were reduced to +chopping up the ice in our tank and melting it for breakfast! One +morning, however, Bridget came to me in great distress. "What on earth +shall I do," said she, "I've finished all the ice, and there's not a bit +left to make the tea for breakfast? I know you'll think of something," +she added hopefully. + +I had been on night guard and the idea of no hot tea was a positive +calamity. + +I thought for some minutes. "Here, give me the jug," I said, and out I +went. After looking carefully round to see that I was not observed, I +quietly tapped one of the radiators. + +"I'll tell you after breakfast where it came from," I said, as I +returned with the full jug. Bridget seized it joyfully and must have +been a bit suspicious as it was still warm, but she was much too wise to +ask any questions. + +We had a cheery breakfast, and when it was over I called out, "I hope +you all feel very much better and otherwise radiating? You ought to at +all events!" + +"Why?" they asked curiously. "Well, you've just drunk tea made out of +'radium,'" I replied. "Absolutely priceless stuff, known to a few of the +first families by its original name of 'radiator water,'" and I escaped +with speed to the fastnesses of my hut. + + +THE STORY OF A PERFECT DAY + + (_From "Barrack Room Ballads of the F.A.N.Y. Corps," + By kind permission of Winifred Mordaunt, F.A.N.Y._) + + We were smoking and absently humming + To anyone there who could play-- + (We'd finished our tea in the Mess hut + Awaiting an ambulance train--) + Roasting chestnuts some were, while the rest, + Cut up toffee or sang a refrain. + Outside was a bitter wind shrieking-- + (Thank God for a fug in the Mess!) + Never mind if the old stove is reeking + If only the cold's a bit less-- + But one of them starts and then shivers + (A goose walking over her tomb) + Gazes out at the rain running rivers + And says to the group in the room: + "Just supposing the 'God of Surprises' + Appeared in the glow of a coal, + With a promise before he demises + To take us away from this hole + And do just whatever we long to do. + Tell me your perfect day." + Said one, "Why, to fly to an island + Far away in a deep blue lagoon; + One would never be tired in my land + Nor ever get up too soon." + "Every time," cried the girl darning stockings, + "We'd surf-ride and bathe in the sea, + We'd wear nothing but little blue smockings + And eat mangoes and crabs for our tea." + "Oh no!" said a third, "that's a rotten + Idea of a perfect day; + I long to see mountains forgotten, + Once more hear the bells of a sleigh. + I'd give all I have in hard money + For one day of ski-ing again, + And to see those white mountains all sunny + Would pretty well drive me insane." + Then a girl, as she flicked cigarette ash + Most carelessly on to the floor, + Had a feeling just then that her pet "pash" + Would be a nice car at the door, + To motor all day without fagging-- + Not to drive nor to start up the thing. + Oh! the joy to see someone else dragging + A tow-rope or greasing a spring! + Then a fifth murmured, "What about fishing? + Fern and heather right up to your knees + And a big salmon rushing and swishing + 'Mid the smell of the red rowan trees." + So the train of opinions drifted + And thicker the atmosphere grew, + Till piercing the voices uplifted + Rang a sound I was sure I once knew. + A sound that set all my nerves singing + And ran down the length of my spine, + A great pack of hounds as they're flinging + Themselves on a new red-hot line! + A bit of God's country is stretching + As far as the hawk's eye can see, + The bushes are leafless, like etching, + As all good dream fences should be. + There isn't a bitter wind blowing + But a soft little southerly breeze, + And instead of the grey channel flowing + A covert of scrub and young trees. + The field of course is just dozens + Of people I want to meet so-- + Old friends, to say nothing of cousins + Who've been killed in the war months ago. + Three F.A.N.Y.s are riding like fairies + Having drifted right into my dreams, + And they're riding their favourite "hairies" + That have been dead for years, so it seems. + A ditch that I've funked with precision + For seasons, and passed by in fear, + I now leap with a perfect decision + That never has marked my career. + For a dream-horse has never yet stumbled; + Far away hounds don't know how to flag. + A dream-fence would melt ere it crumbled, + And the dream-scent's as strong as a drag. + Of course the whole field I have pounded + Lepping high five-barred gates by the score, + And I don't seem the least bit astounded, + Though I never have done it before! + At last a glad chorus of yelling, + Proclaims my dream-fox has been viewed-- + But somewhere some stove smoke is smelling + Which accounts for my feeling half stewed-- + And somewhere the F.A.N.Y.s are talking + And somebody shouts through the din: + "What a horrible habit of snoring-- + Hit her hard--wake her up--the train's in." + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +CONVOY PETS, COMMANDEERING, AND THE "FANTASTIKS" + + +We took turns to go out on "all-night duty"; a different thing from +night guards, and meant taking any calls that came through after 9 p.m. +and before 8 a.m. next morning. + +They were usually from outlying camps for men who had been taken ill or +else for stranded Army Sisters arriving at the Gare about 3 a.m. waiting +to be taken to their billets. + +It was comparatively cheery to be on this job when night guards were in +progress, as there were four hefty F.A.N.Y.s sitting up in the +cook-house, your car warm and easy to crank, and, joy of joys, a hot +drink for you when you came back! + +In the ordinary way as one scrambled into warm sweaters and top coats +the dominant thought was, would the car start all right out there, with +not a hand to give a final fillip once the "getting loose" process was +accomplished? + +Luckily my turns came round twice during night guards, and the last time +I had to go for a pneumonia case to Beau Marais. It was a bright +moonlight night, almost as light as day, with everything glittering in +the frozen snow. Susan fairly hopped it! After having found the case, +which took some doing, and deposited him in No. 30 hospital, I sped back +to camp. + +As I crossed the Place d'Armes and drove up the narrow Rue de la Mer, +Susan seemed to take a sudden header and almost threw a somersault! I +had gone into an invisible hole in the ice, two feet deep, extending +half across the street. For some reason it had melted (due probably to +an underground bakery in the vicinity). I reversed anxiously and then +hopped out to feel Susan's springs as one might a horse's knees. Thank +goodness they had not snapped, so backing all the way down the street +again, relying on the moon for light, I proceeded cautiously by another +route and got back without further mishap. + +Our menagerie was gradually increasing. There were now three dogs and +two cats in camp, not to mention a magpie and two canaries, more of +which anon. There was Wuzzy, of course, and Archie (a naughty looking +little Sealyham belonging to Heasy) and a mongrel known as G.K.W. (God +knows what) that ran in front of a visiting Red Cross touring car one +day and found itself in the position of the young lady of Norway, who +sat herself down in the doorway! I did not witness the untimely end, but +I believe it was all over in a minute. + +One cat belonged to Eva, a plain-looking animal, black with a half-white +face, christened "Miss Dip" (an inspiration on my part suggested by the +donor's name, on the "Happy Family" principle). She was the apple of her +eye, nevertheless, and nightly Eva could be heard calling "Dip, Dip, +Dip," all over the camp to fetch her to bed. Incidentally it became +quite an Angelus for us. + +Considering the way she hunted all the meat shops for tit bits, that cat +ought to have been a show animal--but it wasn't. One day as our fairy +Lowson was lightly jumping from a window-sill she inadvertently "came in +contact" with Dip's tail, the extreme tip of which was severed in +consequence! In wrathful indignation Eva rushed Dip down to the Casino +in an ambulance, where one of the foremost surgeons of the day operated +with skill and speed and made a neat job of it, to the entire +satisfaction of all concerned. If her tail still remains square at the +end she can tell her children she was _blessee dans la guerre_. The +other cat was a tortoiseshell and appropriately called "Melisande in the +Wood," justified by the extraordinary circumstances in which she was +discovered. One day at No. 35 hut hospital I saw three of the men +hunting in a bank opposite, covered with undergrowth and small shrubs. +They told me that for the past three days a kitten had been heard +mewing, but in spite of all their efforts to find it, they had failed to +do so. I listened, and sure enough heard a plaintive mew. The place was +a network of clinging roots, but presently I crawled in and found it was +just possible to get along on hands and knees. It was most +mysterious--the kitten could be heard quite loud one minute, and when +we got to the exact spot it would be some distance away again. (It +reminded me of the Dutch ventriloquist's trick in Lamarck). It was such +a plaintive mew I was determined to find that kitten if I stayed there +all night. At last it dawned on me, it must be in a rabbit hole; and +sure enough after pushing and pulling my way along to the top of the +bank, I found one over which a fall of earth had successfully pushed +some wire netting from the fence above. I waited patiently, and in due +time caught sight of a little black, yellow, and white kitten; but the +minute I made a grab for it, it bolted. I pulled the netting away, but +the hole was much too deep for so small a creature to get out by itself, +and it was much too frightened to let me catch it. With great difficulty +I extricated myself and ran to the cookhouse, where I soon enlisted +Bridget's aid. We got some small pieces of soft raw meat and crawled to +the top of the bank again. After long and tedious coaxing I at last +grabbed the little thing spitting furiously while Bridget gave it some +food, and in return for my trouble it bit and scratched like a young +devil! It was terribly hungry and bolted all we had brought. When we got +her to the cook-house she ran round the place like a mad thing, and +turned out to be rather a fast cat altogether when she grew up. We +tossed for her, Bridget won, and she was duly christened with a drop of +tinned milk on her forehead, "Melisande in the Wood." + +The magpie belonged to Russell, and came from Peuplinghe. Magpies are +supposed to be unlucky birds. This one certainly brought no luck to its +different owners. Shortly after its arrival Russell was obliged to +return to England for good. Before going, however, she presented Jacques +to Captain White at Val de Lievre. Sure enough after some time he was +posted to the Boche prisoner camp at Marquise--a job he did not relish +at all. I don't know if he took Jacques with him, but the place was +bombed shortly after and the Huns killed many of their own men, and +presumably Jacques as well. So he did his bit for France. + +The canaries belonged to Renny--at least at first she had only one. It +happened in this wise. The man at the disinfector (where we took our +cars and blankets to be syringed after an infectious case), had had a +canary given him by his "best girl" (French). He did not want a canary +and had nowhere to keep it, but, as he explained, he did not know enough +of the language to say so, and thought the easiest way out of the +difficulty was to accept it. "Give me the bird, proper, she 'as," he +added. + +The trouble was he did not reckon on her asking after it, which she most +surely did. He could hardly confess to her that he had passed the +present on so instead he conveyed the news to her, somehow, that the +"pore little bird had gone and died on 'im." She expressed her horror +and forthwith produced a second! + +"Soon 'ave a bloomin' aviary at this rate," he remarked as he handed +the second one over! No more appeared, however, and the two little +birds, both presumably dead, twittered and sang merrily the length of +the "cues." + +As the better weather arrived so our work increased again, and in March +the Germans began a retreat in the west along a front of 100 miles. We +worked early and late and reached the point of being able to drive +almost asleep. An extraordinary sensation--you avoid holes, you slip the +clutch over bumps, you stop when necessary, and go on ditto, and at the +same time you can be having dreams! More a state of coma than actual +sleep, perhaps. I think what happened was one probably slept for a +minute and then woke up again to go off once more. + +I became "Wuzzy's" adopted mother about now and, whenever I had time, +combed and brushed his silver curls till they stood out like fluff. He +could spot Susan miles away, and though it was against rules I sometimes +took him on board. As we neared camp I told him he must get down, but he +would put on an obstinate expression and deliberately push himself +behind my back, in between me and the canvas, so that I was almost on +the steering wheel. At other times he would listen to me for awhile, +take it all in, and then put his head on my shoulder with such an +appealing gesture that I used to risk being spotted, and let him remain. +He simply adored coming out if I was going riding, but I disliked having +him intensely, for he ran about under the horses, nibbling at them and +making himself a general nuisance. He would watch me through half shut +eyes the minute I began polishing my riding boots; and try as I would to +evade him he nearly always came in the end. + +He got so crafty in time he would wait for me at the bottom of the drive +and dash out from among the shrubs just as I was vanishing. One day we +had trotted some distance along the Sangatte road, and I was just +congratulating myself I had given him the slip, when looking up, there +he was sitting on a grassy knoll just ahead, positively laughing and +licking his chops with self-satisfied glee. I gave it up after that, I +felt I couldn't cope with him, and yet there were those who called him +stupid! I grant you he had his bad days when he was referred to as my +"idiot son," but even then he was only just "peculiar"--a world of +difference. + +One job we had was termed "lodgers" and consisted of meeting the +"sitting" cases from an ambulance train, taking them to the different +hospitals for the night, and then back to the quay early next morning in +time to catch the hospital ship to England. The stretcher cases had been +put on board the night before, but there was no sleeping accommodation +for so many "sitters." An ordinary evacuation often took place as well, +so that before breakfast we had sometimes carried as many as thirty-five +sitting cases, and done journeys with twelve stretchers. One day at No. +30 hospital I saw several of the girls beside a stretcher, and there was +the "Bovril king" lying swathed in blankets, chatting affably! He was +the cook at No. 30, a genial soul, who always rushed out in the early +hours of the morning when one was feeling emptiest, with a cup of hot +soup. He called it doing his bit, and always referred to himself proudly +as the "Bovril king." Alas, he was now being invalided home with +bronchitis! + +Hope came back from leave and told me she had been pursued half way down +Regent Street by a fat old taxi driver who asked after me. It was dear +old Stone, of course, now returned to civil life and his smart taxi with +the silver "vauses!" I have hunted the stands in vain for his smiling +rosy face, but hope to spot him some day and have my three days' joy +ride. + +One precious whole afternoon off, a very rare event, I went out for a +ride with Captain D. He rode "Baby," a little bay mare, and I rode a +grey, a darling, with perfect manners and the "sweetest" mouth in the +world. He was devoted to "Baby," and wherever she went he went too, as +surely as Mary's little lamb. + +We struck off the road on to some grass and after cantering along for +some distance found we were in a network of small canals--the ground was +very spongy and the canal ahead of us fortunately not as wide as the +rest. We got over safely, landing in deep mud on the other side, and +decided our best plan was to make for the road again. We espied a house +at the end of the strip we were in with a road beyond, and agreed that +there must be a bridge or something leading to it. Captain D. went off +at a canter and I saw Baby break into a startled gallop as a train +steamed up on the line beyond the road. They disappeared behind the +house and I followed on at a canter. I turned the corner just in time to +see them almost wholly immersed in a wide canal and the gallant Captain +crawling over Baby's head on to the bank! It was one of those deceptive +spots where half the water was overgrown with thick weeds and cress, +making the place appear as narrow again. + +The grey was of course hot on Baby's track. Seeing her plight I +naturally pulled up, but he resented this strongly and rose straight on +his hind legs. Fearing he would over-balance, I quickly slacked the +reins and leant forward on his neck. But it was too late; that slippery +mud was no place to try and regain a foothold, and over he came. I just +had time to slip off sideways, promptly lost my foothold and collapsed +as well. How I laughed! There was Captain D. on one side of the canal +vainly trying to capture his "wee red tourie" floating down stream, and +Baby standing by with the mud dripping from her once glossy flanks; and +on the other was I, sitting laughing helplessly in the mud, and the grey +(now almost brown) softly nosing my cap and eyeing his beloved on the +further bank with pained surprise! + +To crown all, the train, which had come to a standstill, was by the +irony of fate full of Scottish soldiers on their way up the line. Such a +bit of luck in the shape of a free cinema show had rarely come their +way and they were bent on enjoying it to the fullest extent. The fact +that the officer now standing ruefully on the bank was in Tartan riding +"troos" of course added to the piquancy of the situation. + +The woman had come out of her cottage by this time and kept exclaiming +at intervals, "Oh, la-la, Oh, la-la," probably imagining that this +mudbath was only a new pastime of the mad English. She at last was kind +enough to open the gate; and thither I led the grey and then across a +plank bridge beyond, previously hidden from sight. + +We scraped the mud off the saddles under a running fire of witty +comments from the train. I knew the whole thing had given them so much +enjoyment that I bore them no illwill. I could see their point of view +so well, it must have been such fun to watch! "Hoots, mon," they called +to the now thoroughly embarrassed D., as we mounted, "are ye no going to +lift the lassie oop?" I was glad we were "oop" and away before the train +started again, and as we trotted along the road, cries of "Guid luck to +ye!" "May ye have a happy death!" (which is a regular north-country +wish, and a very nice one when you come to think of it), followed us. +The batman eyed us suspiciously as we reached Fontinettes where he was +waiting for the horses, and remarked that they seemed to have had a "bit +roll." My topcoat I'm glad to say covered all traces of the "bit roll" I +had indulged in on my own. It was a great ride entirely. + +One night for some reason I was unable to sleep--a rare occurrence--and +bethought me of an exciting spy book, called the _German Submarine +Base_, I had begun weeks before but had had no time to finish. All was +dead quiet with the exception of the distant steady boom of the guns, +which one of course hardly noticed. I had just got to the most thrilling +part and was holding my breath from sheer excitement when whiz! sob! +bang! and a shell went spinning over the huts. For a moment I thought I +must be dreaming or that the book was bewitched. Next minute I was out +of bed like a rabbit, and turning off the light, dashed outside just as +the second went over. I naturally looked skyward, but there was not a +sign of anything and, stranger still, not even the throb of an engine. A +third went over with a loud screech, and my hair was blown into the air +by the rushing wind it caused. I saw a flash from the sea and Thompson +said she was wakened by my voice calling, "I say, come out and see this +new stunt." Soon everyone was up and the shells came on steadily, +blowing our hair about, and making the very pebbles rush rattling along +the ground, hitting against our feet with such force we thought at first +it must be spent shrapnel. Some of those shells screeched and some +miauled like huge cats hurtling through the air to spring on their prey. +These latter made a cold shiver run down my spine; the noise they made +was so blood-curdling. One could cope with the ordinary ones, but +frankly, these were beastly. Luckily they only went over about every +tenth. It was something quite new getting shells of this calibre from +such a short range, and "side-ways," too, as someone expressed it; quite +a different sensation from on top. The noise was deafening; and then one +struck the bank our camp was built on. We had no dug-out and seemingly +were just waiting to be potted at. We got the cars ready in case we were +called up, and the shells whizzed over all the time. There was another +explosion--one had landed in our incinerator! Good business! Another hit +the bank again! Once more the fact of being so near the danger proved +our safety, for with these three exceptions, they all passed over into +the town beyond. The smell of powder in the air was so strong it made us +sneeze. It was estimated roughly that 300 shells were lobbed into the +town, and all passing over us on the way. + +It was a German destroyer that had somehow got down the coast +unchallenged, and was--we heard afterwards--only at a distance of 100 +yards! What a chance for good shooting on our part; but it was a pitch +black night and somehow she got away in the velvet darkness. Sounds of +firing at sea--easily distinguishable from those on land because of the +"plop" after them--continued throughout the night and we thought a naval +battle was in progress somewhere; however, it proved to be one of the +bombardments of England, according to the papers next day. To our great +disappointment, our little "drop in the bucket" of 300 odd shells was +not even mentioned. + +There was much eager scratching in the bank for bits of shells the next +day. One big piece was made into a paper-weight by the old Scotch +carpenter, and another was put on the "narrow escape" shelf among the +other bits that had "nearly, but not quite!" + +Wild rumours had got round the camps and town that the "lady drivers had +got it proper," been "completely wiped out," in fact not one left alive +to tell the lurid tale. So that wherever we drove the next morning we +were greeted with cheery nods and smiles by everyone. The damage to the +town was considerable, but the loss of life singularly small. The Detail +Issue Stores had gone so far as to exchange bets as to whether we would +appear to draw rations that morning, and as I drove up with Bridget on +the box we were greeted right royally. One often found large oranges in +one's tool box, or a bag of nuts, or something of the kind, popped in by +a kindly Tommy who would pass the car and merely say: "Don't forget to +look in your tool-box when you get to camp, Miss," and be gone before +you could even thank him! All the choicest "cuts" were also reserved for +us by the butcher and we were altogether spoilt pretty generally. + +Tommy is certainly a nailer at what he terms "commandeering." I was down +at the M.T. yard one day and as I left, was told casually to look in the +box when I got to camp. I did so, and to my horror saw a wonderful foot +pump--the pneumatic sort. I had visions of being hauled up before a +Court of Enquiry to produce the said pump, which was a brand new one and +painted bright red. On my next job I made a point of going round by the +M.T. yard to return the "present." I found my obliging friend, who was +pained in the extreme at the mere mention of a pump. "Never 'eard of +one," he affirmed stoutly. "Leastways," he said reminiscently, looking +at me out of the corner of his eye, "I do seem to remember something +about a stawf car bein' in 'ere this morning when yours was"--and he +smiled disarmingly. "Look 'ere," he continued, "you forget all about it, +Miss. I 'ates to see yer puffing at the tyres with them old-fashioned +ones, and anyway," with a grin, "that car's in Abbeville now!" + +Another little example of similar "commandeering" was when my friend of +the chopped sticks turned up one day with a small Primus stove: "I 'eard +you was askin' for one, and 'ere it is," and with that he put it down +and fled. After the pump episode I was full of suspicions about little +things that "turned up" from nowhere, but for a long time I had no +opportunity of asking him exactly where the gift had come from. One +night, however, one of the doctors from the adjacent hut hospital was up +in camp, and Primus stoves suddenly cropped up in the conversation. +"Most extraordinary thing," said he, "my batman is as honest as the day, +and can't account for the disappearance of my stove at all. No one went +into my hut, he declares, and yet the stove is gone, and not so much as +a sign of it. One thing is I'd know it if I saw it again." I started +guiltily at this, and got rather pink--"Look here," I said, "come into +my hut a moment." He did so. "By Jove! that's my stove right enough," he +cried, "I know the scratches on it. How on earth did you get it?" "That +I can't tell you," I replied, "but you can have it back" (graciously), +"and look here, it wasn't _your_ batman, so rest easy." He was too wise +to ask unnecessary questions (one didn't in France), and only too +thankful to get his Primus, which he joyfully carried back in state. It +was a pity about it, because they were impossible to get at that time, +and our huts had already been raided for electric kettles. + +Gothas came frequently to visit us at night and terrible scenes took +place, during which we were ordered out amid the dropping bombs to carry +the injured to hospital, but more often than not to collect the dead, or +what was left of them. + +One morning I was in great distress, for I lost my purse through the +lining of my wolf-coat. It was not the loss of the purse that worried +me, but the fact that I always kept the little medal of the Virgin and +Child in there, given me by the old Scotch nun in Paris "for +protection." "Eva," I called, "I've lost my luck--that little charm I +had given me in 1915--I do wish I hadn't. I'm not superstitious in the +ordinary way, but I kind of believe in that thing;" she only laughed +however. But I took the trouble to advertise for it in the local +paper--unfortunately with no result. I was very distressed. + +Our concert party got really quite a slap-up show going about this time. +We also had a drop scene behind--a huge white linen sheet on which we +_appliqued_ big black butterflies fluttering down to a large sunflower +in the corner, the petals of which were the same yellow as the bobbles +on our dresses. We came to the conclusion that something of the sort was +necessary, for as often as not we had to perform in front of +puce-coloured curtains that hardly showed us up to the best advantage. + +One of the best shows we ever gave I think was for the M.T. _depot_. +They did so much for us one way and another repairing cars (not to +mention details like the foot pump episode), that we were only too glad +to do something for them in return. The _piece de resistance_ (at least, +Dicky and I thought so) was a skit we got up on one of "Lena's" concert +party stars--a ventriloquist stunt. We thought of it quite suddenly and +only had time for one rehearsal before the actual performance. I paid a +visit to Corporal Coy of the mortuary (one of the local low comedians, +who, like the coffin-cart man at Lamarck, "had a merry eye!" and was a +recognized past-master in the art of make-up), and borrowed his little +bowler hat for the occasion. He listened solemnly to the scheme, and +insisted on making me a fascinating little Charlie Chaplin moustache +(the requisites for which he kept somewhere in the mortuary with the +rest of his disguises!) and he then taught me to waggle it with great +skill! + +Dicky was the "doll" with round shiny patches of red on her cheeks and a +Tommy's cap and hospital blue coat. She supplied the glassy stare +herself most successfully. For these character stunts we simply put on +caps and coats over our "Fantastik" kit and left the rest to the +imagination of the audience who was quick (none quicker) to grasp the +implied suggestion. I was "Mr. Lenard Ashwell" in aforementioned bowler, +moustache, and coat. We made up the dialogue partly on the basis of the +original performance, and added a lot of local colour. I asked the +questions, and was of course supposed to ventriloquize the answers, and, +thanks to the glassy stare of my doll, her replies almost convinced the +audience I was doing so. + +They had all seen the real thing a fortnight before, so that we were +greeted with shouts of laughter as the curtain went up. + +The trouble was, as we had only written the book of words that day it +was rather hard for me to remember them, so I had taken the precaution +of safety-pinning them on my doll's back. It was all right for her as +she got the cue from me. It was not difficult, half supporting her as I +appeared to be, to squint behind occasionally for the next jest! On one +of these occasions my incorrigible doll horrified me by winking at the +audience and exclaiming, to their delight, "The bloke's got all the +words on my back!" She then revolved out of my grasp, and spun slowly +round on her stool. This unrehearsed effect quite brought the house +down, and not to be outdone, I raised my small bowler repeatedly in +acknowledgment! + +I was a little taken aback the next morning when the man at the petrol +stores said, "My, but you wos a fair treat as Charlie Chaplin last +night, Miss." (It must have been Corporal Coy's moustache that did it, +not to mention lifting my bowler from the rear!) + +The more local colour you get in a show of that sort the better the men +like it, and we parodied all the latest songs as fast as they came out. +Winnie and "Squig" in Unity More's "_Clock strikes Thirteen_" were +extremely popular, especially when they sang with reference to cranking +up in the mornings: + + Wind, wind. _Oh_ what a grind! + I could weep, I could swear, I could scream, + Both my arms ache, and my back seems to break + But she'll go when the clock strikes thirteen. + + + Oh, oh (with joy), at last she will go! + There's a spark from the bloomin' machine, + She's going like fire, when bang goes a tyre + And we'll start when the clock strikes thirteen! + +The whole programme was as follows:-- + + 1. The FANTASTIKS announce their shortcomings in + chorus of original words to the opening music of the Bing + Boys--"We're the FANTASTIKS, and we rise at six and + don't get much time to rehearse, so if songs don't go, and + the show is slow, well, we hope you'll say it might have + been worse," etc., etc. + + 2. _Violin_ 1. "Andantino" (Kreisler) } + } P.B. WADDELL + 2. "Capriccioso" (Drdla) } + 3. _Recitation_ Humorous N.F. LOWSON + 4. _Chorus Song_ "Piccadilly" FANTASTIKS (in monocles) + 5. _Stories_ M. RICHARDSON + 6. _China Town_ FANTASTIKS + (Sung in the dark with lighted Chinese lanterns, quite + professional in effect--at least we hoped so!) + 7. _Recitation_ Serious B. HUTCHINSON + 8. Mr. Lenard Ashwell and his } { M. RICHARDSON + Ventriloquist Doll } { P.B. WADDELL + 9. _Duet_ "When the Clock strikes Thirteen" G. QUIN AND + W. MORDAUNT + 10. _Violin Solo_ "Zigeunerweisen" (Sarasate) P.B. WADDELL + 11. _Song_ "Au Revoir" W. MORDAUNT + 12. _The Kangaroo Hop_ FANTASTIKS + +The chorus wore their goat-coats for this last item, and with animal +masks fixed by elastic, bears, wolves, elephants, etc., it was +distinctly realistic. + +When "God save the King" had been sung, and the usual thanks and cheers +given, and received, the Sergeant-Major from the Canteen (with the +beautiful waxed moustache) rushed forward to say that light refreshments +had been provided. The "grizzly bears" were only too thankful, as they +had had no time to snatch even a bun before they left camp. + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +THE LAST RIDE + + +The hardest job in the Convoy was admittedly that of the big lorry, for, +early and late, it was first and last on the field. + +It took all the stretchers and blankets to the different hospitals, +cleared up the quay after an early evacuation, brought stretchers and +blankets up to the Convoy, took the officers' kits to hospital and +boats, and rationed the ambulance trains and barges. "Jimmy" took to the +Vulcan instinctively when the Convoy was first started and jealously +kept to the job, but after a time she was forcibly removed therefrom in +order to take a rest. I could sympathize--I knew how I had felt about +the little lorry. + +The job was to be taken in fortnightly turns, and while the old Vulcan +lorry was being overhauled a Wyllis-Overland was sent in its place. + +The disadvantage of the lorry was that you never saw any of your +friends, for you were always on duty when they were off, and vice versa; +also you hardly ever had meals when they did. Eva's fortnight was almost +up, and I was hoping to see something of her before I went on leave when +one night in she came with the news that I was the next one for +it--hardly a welcome surprise; and down at barges that evening--it was a +Sunday--Gamwell, the Sergeant, told me officially I was to take on the +job next morning at 5 a.m. + +When I got back to Camp I went for a preliminary run on it, as I had +never driven that make before. The tyres were solid, all vestige of +springs had long since departed from the seat and the roof was covered +with tin that bent and rattled like stage thunder. The gears were in the +middle and very worn, and the lever never lost an opportunity of +slipping into first as you got out, and consequently the lorry tried to +run over you when you cranked up! Altogether a charming car. You drove +along like a travelling thunder-clap, and coming up the slope into Camp +the earth fairly shook beneath you. I used to feel like the whole of +Valhalla arriving in a Wagner Opera! It was also quite impossible to +hear what anyone said sitting on the seat beside you. + +The third day, as I got out, I felt all my bones over carefully. "When I +come off this job," I called to Johnson, "I shall certainly swallow a +bottle of gum as a wise precaution." He grinned appreciatively. + +Lowson, who had had her turn before Eva, appropriately christened it +"Little Willie," and I can affirm that that car had a Hun soul. + +You were up and dressed at 5 a.m. and waited about camp till the +telephone bell rang to say the train had arrived. Schofield, the +incinerator man who was usually in the camp at that hour, never failed +to make a cup of tea--a most welcome thing, for one never got back to +camp to have breakfast till 11 or 11.30 a.m. I used to spend the +interval, after "Little Willie" was all prepared for the road, combing +out Wuzzy's silver curls. He always accompanied the lorry and was +allowed to sit, or rather jolt, on the seat beside me, unrebuked. After +breakfast there was the quay to clear up and all the many other details +to attend to, getting back to camp about 3 to go off in an hour's time +to barges. When a Fontinettes ambulance train came down, the lorry +driver was lucky if she got to bed this side of 2 a.m. + +All social engagements in the way of rides, etc., had to be cancelled in +consequence, but the Monday before I went into hospital the grey and +Baby appeared up in camp about 5.30. I was hanging about waiting for the +telephone to say the barge had arrived, but as there was a high wind +blowing it was considered very unlikely it would come down the canal +that evening. I 'phoned to a station several miles up to enquire if it +was in sight, and the reply came back "Not a sign," and I accordingly +got permission to go out for half an hour. I was so afraid Captain D. +might not consider it worth while and could have almost wept, but +fortunately he agreed half an hour was better than nothing, and off we +went up the sands, leaving the bob-tailed Wuzzy well in the rear. What a +glorious gallop that was--my last ride! The sands appeared almost +golden in the sun and the wind was whipping the deep blue waves into +little crests of foam against the paler turquoise of the sky. Already +the flowers on the dunes had burst into leaf, for it was the "merrie +month of May," and there, away on the horizon, the white cliffs of +England could just be discerned. Altogether it was good to be alive. +"Hurrah," I cried, as we slowed down to a walk, "five more days and then +on leave to England!" and I rubbed the grey's neck with joy. Alas! that +half hour flew like ten minutes and we turned all too soon and raced +back, thudding along over the glorious sands as we went. + +I got to the Convoy to find there was no news of the barge, but I had to +dismount all the same--duty is duty--and I kissed the grey's nose, +little thinking I should never see him again. The barge did not come +down till 9 o'clock the next morning. _C'est la guerre_--and a _very_ +trying one to boot! + +The weather was ideal just then: warm and sunny and not a cloud in the +sky except for those little round white puffs where the Archie shells +burst round the visiting Huns. + +One afternoon about 5 o'clock, when breakfast had been at lunch time and +consequently that latter meal had been _n'apoo'd_ altogether, I went +into the E.M.O.'s for the chits before leaving for camp. (These initials +stood for "Embarkation Medical Officer" and always designated the office +and shed where the blankets and stretchers were kept; also, +incidentally, the place where the Corporal and two men slept.) As I +entered a most appetising odour greeted my nostrils and I suddenly +realized how very hungry I was. I sniffed the air and wondered what it +could be. + +"Just goin' to have a cockle tea," explained the Corporal. "I suppose, +Miss, you wouldn't care to join us?" I knew the brew at the Convoy would +be long since cold, and accepted the invitation joyfully. + +Their "dining-room" was but the shed where the stretchers were piled up, +many of them brown and discoloured by blood, and bundles of fusty army +blankets, used as coverings for the wounded, reached almost to the +ceiling. They were like the stretchers in some cases, and always sticky +to the touch. I could not repress a shudder as I turned away to the much +more welcome sight of tea. A newspaper was spread on the rough table in +my honour and Wheatley was despatched "at the double" to find the only +saucer! (Those who knew the good Wheatley will perhaps fail to imagine +he could attain such a speed--dear Wheatley, with his long spindle legs +and quaint serio-comic face. He was a man of few words and a heart of +gold.) + +I look back on that "cockle tea" as one of my happiest memories. It was +so jolly and we were all so gay and full of hope, for things were going +well up the line. + +I had never tasted cockles before and thought they were priceless. We +discussed all manner of things during tea and I learnt a lot about their +aspirations for _apres la guerre_. It was singular to think that within +a short month, of that happy party Headley the Corporal alone remained +sound and whole. One was killed by a shell falling on the E.M.O. One was +in hospital crippled for life, and the third was brought in while I was +there and died shortly after from septic pneumonia. Little did we think +what was in store as we drank tea so merrily! + +Wheatley insisted on putting a bass bag full of cockles into the lorry +before I left, and when I got to camp I ran to the cook-house thinking +how they would welcome a variation for supper. + +"Cockles?" asked Bridget. "Humph, I suppose you know they grow on sewers +and people who eat them die of ptomaine poisoning?" "No," I said, not at +all crestfallen, "do they really, well I've just eaten a whole bag full! +If they give me a military funeral I do hope you'll come," and I +departed, feeling rather hurt, to issue further invitations. + +I was drawing petrol at the Stores the next day and as I was signing for +it the man there (my Charlie Chaplin friend) kindly began to crank up. + +As he did so I saw Little Willie move gently forward, and ran out to +slip the gear back into "neutral." + +"It's a Hun and called 'Little Willie,'" I explained as I did so. + +"Crikey, wot a car," he observed, "no wonder you calls it that. Don't +you let him put it acrosst you, Miss." + +"He's only four more days to do it in," I thought joyfully, as I rattled +off to the Quay, and yet somehow a premonition of some evil thing about +to happen hung over me, and again I wished I hadn't lost my charm. + +The next day was Wednesday, and I had been up since 5 and was taking a +lorry-full of stretchers and blankets past a French Battery to the +E.M.O.'s. It was about midday and there was not a cloud in the sky. Then +suddenly my heart stood still. Somehow, instinctively, I knew I was "for +it" at last. Whole eternities seemed to elapse before the crash. There +was no escape. Could I urge Little Willie on? I knew it was hopeless; +even as I did so he bucketed and failed to respond. He would! How I +longed for Susan, who could always be relied upon to sprint forward. At +last the crash came. I felt myself being hurled from the car into the +air, to fall and be swept along for some distance, my face being +literally rubbed in the ground. I remember my rage at this, and even in +that extreme moment managed to seize my nose in the hope that it at +least might not be broken! Presently I was left lying in a crumpled heap +on the ground. My first thought, oddly enough, was for the car, which I +saw standing sulkily and somewhat battered not far off. "There _will_ be +a row," I thought. The stretcher bearer in behind had been killed +instantaneously, but fortunately I did not know of this till some time +later, nor did I even know he had jumped in behind. The car rattled to +such an extent I had not heard the answer to my query, if anyone was +coming with me to unload the stretchers. + +I tried to move and found it impossible. "What a mess I'm in," was my +next thought, "and how my legs ache!" I tried to move them too, but it +was no good. "They must both be broken," I concluded. I put my hand to +my head and brought it away all sticky. "That's funny," I thought, +"where can it have come from?" and then I caught sight of my hand. It +was all covered with blood. I began to have a panic that my back might +be injured and I would not be able to ride again. That was all that +really worried me. I had always dreaded anything happening to my back, +somehow. + +The French soldiers were down from their Battery in a trice, all great +friends of mine to whom I had often thrown ration cigarettes. + +Gaspard (that was not his name, I never knew it, but always called him +that in my own mind after Raymond's hero) gave a cry and was on the +ground beside me, calling me his "little cabbage," his "poor little +pigeon," and presently he half lifted me in his arms and cradled me as +he might a baby. I remained quite conscious the whole time. "Will I be +able to ride again?" kept hammering through my brain. The pain was +becoming rapidly worse and I began to wonder just where my legs were +broken. As I could move neither I could not discover at all, and +presently I gave a gasp as I felt something tighten and hurt terribly. +It was a boot lace they were fixing to stop the haemorrhage (bootlaces +are used for everything in France). The men stood round, and I watched +them furtively wiping the tears away that rolled down their furrowed +cheeks. One even put his arm over his eyes as a child does. I wondered +vaguely why they were crying; it never dawned on me it had anything to +do with _me_. "Completement coupee," I heard one say, and quick as a +shot, I asked, "Ou est-ce que c'est qu'est coupe?" and those tactful +souls, just rough soldiers, replied without hesitation, "La jaquette, +Mademoiselle." + +"Je m'en fiche de la jaquette," I answered, completely reassured. + +I wished the ambulance would come soon. "I _am_ in a beastly mess," I +thought again. "Fancy broken legs hurting like this. What must the men +go through!" + +It was singular I was so certain they were broken. But a month before I +had received a wire from the War Office stating one of my brothers had +crashed 1,000 feet and had two legs fractured, and without more ado I +took it for granted I was in a similar plight. "I won't sit up and +look," I decided, "or I shall think I'm worse than I am. There's sure to +be some blood about," and the sun beat down fiercely, drying what there +was on my face into hard cakes. My lower lip had also been cut inside +somehow. One man took off his coat and held it high up to form a shade. +I saw everything that happened with a terrible distinctness. They had +already bound up my head, which was cut and bleeding profusely. + +The pain was becoming almost intolerable and I wondered if in time I +would cry, but luckily one does not cry on those occasions; it becomes +an impossibility somehow. I even began to wish I could. I asked to have +my legs lifted a little and the pain seemed to ease somewhat. I shall +never forget those Frenchmen. They were perfect. How often I had smiled +at them as I passed, and laughed to see them standing in a ring like +naughty schoolboys, peeling potatoes, their Sergeant walking round to +see that it was done properly! + +The little French doctor from the Battery, who had once helped me change +a tyre, came running up and I covered the scratched side of my face lest +he should get too much of a shock. "Je suis joliment dans la soupe," I +said, and saw him go as white as a sheet. "These Frenchmen are very +sympathetic," I thought, for it had dawned on me what they were crying +about by that time. + +Just then an ambulance train came down the line and the two English +doctors were fetched. A tourniquet which seemed like a knife, and hurt +terribly, was applied as well as the bootlace. I was also given some +morphia. "This will hurt a little," he said as he pushed in the needle, +which I thought distinctly humorous. As if a prick from a hypodermic +could be anything in comparison with what was going on "down there" +where I hadn't courage to look! His remark had one good effect though, +because I thought: "If he thinks _that_ will hurt there can't be much to +fuss over down there." + +Would the ambulance never arrive? I wondered if we were always so +long--which F.A.N.Y. would come? "She's cranked up by now and on the +way, probably as far as the bridge," I thought. I drove all the way down +in my own mind and yet she did not arrive, but they had 'phoned to the +French hospital in the town and not the Convoy. I did not know this till +I saw the French car arrive. + +It seemed an age. Gaspard never moved once from his cramped position and +kept saying soothingly from time to time: "Allons, p'tit chou, mon +pauvre petit pigeon, ca viendra tout a l'heure, he la petite." + +At last the ambulance came. I dreaded being lifted, but those soldiers +raised me so tenderly the wrench was not half as bad as I had +anticipated. I had been there just over forty minutes. Then began the +journey in the ambulance. The men gave me a fine salute as I was taken +off and I waved good-bye. One of the Sisters from the train came in the +car with me and also the little French doctor whose hand I hung on to +most of the way, and which incidentally must have been like pulp when we +arrived. + +As luck would have it the driver was a new man, and neither the doctor +nor the sister knew the way, so I had to give the directions. The doctor +was all for taking me to the French military hospital, but I asked to +be taken to the Casino. + +"So this is what the men go through every day," I thought, as we were +into a hole and out again with a bump and the pain became almost too +much to bear. The doctor swore at the driver, and I took another grip of +his hand. "Bien difficile de ne pas faire ca," I murmured, for I knew he +had really manoeuvred it well. The constant give of the springs +jiggling endlessly up and down, up and down, was as trying as anything. +The trouble was I knew every hole in that road and soon we had to cross +railway lines! The sister, who was a stranger too, began to worry how +she would find her way back to the train, but I assured her once arrived +at the Casino, she only had to walk up to our camp to get a F.A.N.Y. +car. "I hope there won't be many people there when I'm pulled out," I +thought, "I hate being stared at in such a beastly mess," above all I +hated a fuss. + +Now we had come to the railway lines. "What would it have been like +without morphia?" I wondered. Of course the drawbridge was up and that +meant at least ten minutes wait till the ships went through. My luck +seemed dead out. At last I heard the familiar clang as it rattled into +place, and we were over. + +I dared not close my eyes, as I had a sort of feeling I'd never be able +to open them again. "Only up the slope and then I'm there. If I can't +keep them open till then, I'm done." The pain was getting worse again, +and from what the sister said I gathered something down there had begun +to haemorrhage once more. Still no thought of the truth ever dawned on +me. + +At last we arrived and slowly backed into place. I could not help seeing +the grim humour of the situation; I had driven so many wounded men there +myself. The Colonel, who must have heard, for he was waiting, looked +very white and worried, and Leather, one of the Duchess' drivers, +started visibly as I was pulled out. I was told after that my +complexion, or what could be seen of it, was ashen grey in colour and if +my eyes had not been open they would have thought the worst. I was +carried into the big hall and there my beloved Wuzzy found me. I heard a +little whine and felt a warm tongue licking my face--luckily he had not +been with me that morning. + +"Take that ---- dog away, someone," cried the Colonel, who was peevish +in the extreme. "He's not a ---- dog," I protested, and then up came a +Padre who asked gravely, "What are you, my child?" Thinking I was now +fairly unrecognisable by this time with the Frenchman's hanky round my +head, etc., I replied, "A F.A.N.Y., of course!" This completely +scandalized the good Padre. When he had recovered, he said, "No, you +mistake me, what religion I mean?" + +"He wants to know what to bury me under," I thought, "what a thoroughly +cheerful soul!" "C. of E.," I replied as per identity disc. He then took +my home address, which seemed an unnecessary fuss, and I was left in +peace. Captain C. was there as well and came over to the stretcher. + +"I've broken both legs," I announced, "will I be able to ride again?" + +"Of course you will," he said. + +"Sure?" I asked. + +"Rather," he replied, and I felt comforted. + +I was then carried straight through ward I. into the operating theatre. +The men in bed looked rather startled, and Barratt, a man I had driven +and been visiting since, was near the door. What he said is hardly +repeatable. When the British Tommy is much moved he usually becomes +thoroughly profane! I waved to him as I disappeared through the door +into the theatre. + +I was speedily undressed. Dicky appeared mysteriously from somewhere and +was a brick. The room seemed to be full of nurses and orderlies and then +I went slipping off into oblivion as the chloroform took effect (my +first dose and at that time very welcome) and at last I was in a land +where pain becomes obliterated in one vast empty space. + + * * * * * + +I woke that afternoon and of course wondered where I was. Everything +seemed to be aching and throbbing at once. I tried to move, but I felt +as if I was clamped to the bed. "This is terrible," I thought, "I must +be having a nightmare." Then I saw the cradle covering my legs. "What +could it be?" I wondered, and then in a flash the scenes of that morning +(or was it a week ago?) came back to me. I wondered if my back was all +right and felt carefully down the side. No, there was no bandage, and I +sighed with relief, though it ached like fury. I could feel the top of +the wooden splints on the one leg but nothing but bandages on the other. + +My head had been sewn up, also my lip, and a nice tight bandage replaced +the hanky. + +It was thumping wildly and presently an unseen figure gave me something +very cool to sip out of a feeding mug. Things straightened out a bit +after that, and I saw there were quantities of flowers in the room, +jugfuls in fact, which had been sent to cheer me along. Then something +in my leg, the one that was hurting most, gave a fearful tug and a jump +and I drew in my breath with a sobbing gasp. What could it be? It felt +just as if someone had tugged it on purpose, and it took ages to settle +down again. I looked mutely at my nurse for an explanation, and she put +a cool hand on mine. + +It was the severed nerve, and I learnt to dread those involuntary jumps +that came so suddenly from nowhere and seized one like a deadly cramp. + +Everything, including my back, was one vast ache punctuated by those +appalling nerve jumps that set every other one in my body tingling. + +How I longed to turn on my side, but that was a luxury denied me for +weeks. + +My friend Eva had heard the cheerful news when she returned from +Boulogne, where she had been all day, and she and Lowson were allowed to +come and see me for a few minutes. + +"I've broken both legs," I stated. "Isn't it the limit? They don't half +hurt." They nodded sympathetically, not daring to give me a hint of the +real state of affairs. + +"Captain C. says I'll be able to ride again though," I added, and once +more they nodded. + +"I told you what would happen when I lost that charm," I said to Eva. + +I asked after "Little Willie," and heard his remains had been towed to +camp, though being a Hun he would of course manage to escape somehow! + +I had an adorable V.A.D. to look after me. The best I ever want to have. +She seemed to know exactly what I wanted without being told. I felt +almost too tired to speak, and in any case it's not easy with stitches +in your mouth. + +The Padre, not my friend of the entrance hall I was glad to note, came +to see me and I had a Communion Service all to myself, as they thought I +might possibly die in the night. + +I dreaded the nights as I'd dreaded nothing before in my life; with +darkness everything seemed to become intensified. Whenever I did manage +to snatch a few moments' sleep the dreadful demon that seemed to lurk +somewhere just out of sight would pop up and jerk my leg again. I would +think to myself "Now I will really catch him next time," and I would lie +waiting in readiness, but just as I thought I was safe, jerk! and my leg +would jump worse than ever. I clenched my fists in rage, and the V.A.D. +came from behind the screen to smooth the pillows for me. I used to lie +and think of all the thousands of men in hospital and perhaps even lying +untended in No-man's-land going through twice as much as I, and wondered +if the world would really be any the better for all this suffering or if +it would be forgotten as soon as the war was over. It seemed to be +rather a waste if it was to be so. + +When morning came there were the dressings to be done. At 10 o'clock I +used to try and imagine it was really 11, and all over, but the rattle +of the trolley and terribly cheerful voice of Sister left room for no +illusions on that score. My hands were useful on these occasions, and at +the end of the half hour were excellent examples of the shape of my +teeth! They were practically the only parts completely uninjured, and I +knew that whatever happened I could still play the violin again. + +I could not understand why one leg had jumping nerves and the other +apparently had none and argued that the one must be half-broken to +account for it. The B.E.F. specialist also paid frequent visits. + +Then one evening, the third or fourth I think, Captain C. came in and +sat down in the shadow, looking very grave. + +I think it must have been one of the worst half-hours he ever spent. It +is not a job any man would relish to tell someone who is particularly +fond of life that they have lost one leg and the other has only just +been saved! I was speechless for some minutes; in fact I refused to +believe it. It took a long time for the full horror of the situation to +dawn on me. It will seem odd that I did not feel I had lost my leg, but +one never has that sensation even when on crutches; the nerves are +unfortunately too much alive. + +Captain C. stayed a long time and the evening drew on but still he sat +there and talked to me quietly in the darkness. I wondered why I +couldn't cry, but somehow it seemed to have nothing to do with me at +all. I was not the girl who had lost a leg. It was merely someone else I +was hearing about. "Jolly bad luck on them," I thought, "rotten not to +be able to run about any more." + +Then my leg jumped and it began to dawn on me that I was the girl to +whom those things had happened. Still, I could not cry. Useless to urge +how lucky it was my knee had just been saved. What use was a knee, I +thought bitterly, if I could never fly round again! When was the very +soonest I could get about with one of these artificial legs, I asked, +and he swore to me that if all went well, in a year's time. A year! I +had fancied the autumn at latest. Little did I know it would be even +longer. That night was the worst I'd had. It is a useless occupation to +kick against the pricks anyway, and the hours dragged slowly on till +morning came at last. When it was light enough I looked round, as well +as I could at least, lying flat on my back, for something to distract my +thoughts. Seeing a _Pearson's Magazine_ with George Robey on the cover, +I drew it towards me and saw there was an article by him inside. Quite +sure that "George" would cheer me up if anyone could I turned the pages +and found it. It not only cheered me but gave me the first real ray of +hope. There in print was all Captain C. had told me the night before, +and somehow, to see a thing in print is doubly convincing. It was on +disabled soldiers and the pluck with which they bore their misfortunes. + +There was one story of two of his friends who walked into his +dressing-room one day. After dancing about the place they told him they +were out of the army. + +"I don't see much wrong with you," said G., eyeing them up and down. +They then whacked their legs soundly and never flinched once, for they +each had an artificial one! I blessed George from the bottom of my +heart. Someone told him this, and he promptly sat down and wrote to me, +enclosing several signed postcards and a drawing of himself at the end +of the letter--his own impression of what he looked like in the +pre-historic scene in _Zigzag_--and a promise of a box for the show as +soon as I got to Blighty. Some jolly good fellow! + +The countless flowers I received were one of the chief joys. I simply +adored lying and looking at them. + +Every single person I knew seemed to have remembered me, and boxes of +chocolates filled my shelf as well. + +The Parc d'Automobiles Belges sent such a huge _gerbe_ that two men had +to carry it, and, emblazoned on a broad ribbon of the Belgian colours, +spanning the whole thing, was my name and an inscription in letters of +gold! Captain Saxon Davies, from the "Christol" in Boulogne, had fruit +sent over in the boat from Covent Garden delivered at the hospital every +morning by motor cycle. I felt quite overwhelmed; everyone seemed +determined to spoil me. + +One day the Padre had come in to see me and was just concluding a prayer +when there was a tap, and the door opened on the instant. A large +bottle, the size of a magnum, was pushed in by an orderly, who, seeing +the Padre, departed in haste. (I was squinting up through my eyelashes +and saw it all and just pulled myself together in time to say "Amen.") + +I knew who had sent it and hastened to explain: "It's not champagne, +Padre, it's Eau de Cologne!" That surprising sportsman replied: "Isn't +it? Bad luck. Have you a scent spray? No? Well, I'll get you one!" (Some +Padre!) + +On the Sunday one of my people came over, thanks to the cheery telegrams +the War Office had been dispatching. It seemed an unnecessary fuss--the +Colonel, too, showed distinct signs of "needle"--but it was a dear +little Aunt who is never flustered by anything and who greeted me as if +we had parted only yesterday. The word "leg" was not included in her +dictionary at all. One is apt to be a bit touchy at first about these +little things, and though I had seen the most terrible wounds in our +hospital, amputations had always rattled me thoroughly. + +The little Aunt subsequently entertained the austere A.P.M., while her +papers were being put in order, with most interesting details of my +childhood and how she had brought me up from a baby! The whole interview +was described to me as "utterly priceless," by the F.A.N.Y. who had +taken her there. + +The French Battery sent daily to enquire and presently I was allowed +visitors. I began to realize after a while that in losing a leg you find +out exactly who your real friends are. There are those whom I shall +never forget who came day after day to read or talk to me--friends who +paid no attention when the leg gave one of its violent jerks, but went +on talking as if nothing had happened, a fact that helped me to bear it +more than all the expressed sympathy in the world. The type who says +"Whatever was that? How dreadful!" fortunately never came. It was only +due to those real friends that I was saved from slipping into a slough +of despond from which I might never have hoped to rise. Eva gave up +rides and tennis in order to come down every day, and considering the +little time there was to devote to these pastimes I appreciated it all +the more. + +To say I was the best posted person in the place is no exaggeration. I +positively heard both sides of every question (top and bottom as well +sometimes) and did my best to make as little scandal as possible! + +I was in a room off the "Grand Circle" of the one-time Casino, an +officers' ward. One night the Sister had left me for a moment and I +could have sworn I saw three Germans enter. I thought they said to me +that they had come to hide and if I gave them away they would hit my +leg. The mere suggestion left me dumb and I distinctly seemed to see +them getting under the two other empty beds in the room. + +After a few minutes it dawned on me what a traitor I was, and bit by bit +I eased myself up on my elbows. "I must go and tell someone these +Germans are here," I thought, and turned back the clothes. After +throwing the small sand bags on the floor that kept my bad leg in +position, I next seized the cradle and pitched that overboard. I then +carefully lifted first one leg round and then the other and sat swaying +on the side of the bed. The splints naturally jutted out some distance +from the end of my one leg and this struck me as being very funny. I +wondered just how I could walk on them. Then I looked down at the other +and the proposition seemed funnier still; though I could feel as if the +leg was there, when I looked there was nothing. It was really extremely +odd! I sat there for some time cogitating these matters and was just +about to try how I could walk when very luckily in came an orderly. + +"Germans!" I gasped, pointing to the two beds. I must have looked a +little odd sitting swaying there in a very inadequate "helpless" shirt +belonging to the hospital! With a muttered exclamation he rushed forward +just catching me in his arms, and I was back in bed in a twinkling. The +whole thing was so clear to me; even now I can fancy I really saw those +Germans, and the adorable V.A.D., after searching under the beds at my +request, sat with me for the rest of the night. My "good" leg was tied +securely down after that episode. + +I was dead and buried (by report) several times that first week in +hospital and Sergeant Richardson from the Detail Issue Stores, who saw +we always had the best rations, came up to see me one afternoon. He was +so spick and span I hardly recognized him, and in his hand was a large +basket of strawberries. The very first basket that had appeared in the +fruiterers' that year. He sat down and told me how anxious "the boys" +were to hear how I really was. All sorts of exaggerated rumours had been +flying about. + +He related how he had first heard the news on that fatal Wednesday and +how "a bloke" told him I had been killed outright. "I knocked 'im down," +said the Sergeant with pride, "and when he comes to me the next morning +to tell to me you wos still alive, why, I was so pleased I knocked 'im +down again!" + +Bad luck on the "bloke," what? I was convulsed, only the trouble was it +hurt me even to laugh, which was trying. + +He had been out in Canada before the war as a cowboy and had always +promised to show me some day how to pick things off the ground when +galloping, a pastime we agreed I should now have to forgo. I assured him +if I couldn't do that, however, I had every intention of riding again. +Had I not heard that morning of someone who even hunted! I began to +appreciate the fact that I had my knee. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +HOSPITALS: FRANCE AND ENGLAND + + +An old Frenchman came to the hospital every day with the English papers, +and looked in to leave me the _Mirror_, for which he would never accept +any payment. He had very few teeth and talked in an indistinct sort of +patois and insisted on holding long conversations in consequence! He +told me he would be _enchante_ to bring me some novels _bien choisis par +ma femme_ (well chosen by my wife) one day, and in due course they +arrived--the 1 franc 25 edition. + +The names in most cases were enough, and the pictures in some a little +more! If they were his wife's idea of suitable books for _jeunes filles_ +I wondered vaguely with what exactly the grown-ups diverted themselves! +I had not the heart to tell him I never read them. + +All the French people were extraordinarily kind and often came in to see +me. They never failed to bring a present of some sort either. +Mademoiselle Marguerite, the dear fat old lady who kept the flower shop +in the Rue, always brought some of her flowers, and looking round would +declare that I was trying to run an opposition to her! Madame from the +_Pharmacie_ came with a large bottle of scent, the little dressmaker +brought some lace. Monsieur and Madame from the "Omelette Shop" (a +popular resort of the F.A.N.Y.s) arrived very hot and smart one Sunday +afternoon. Monsieur, who was fat, with large rolls at the back of his +neck, was rather ill at ease and a little panting from the walk +upstairs. He had the air of a man trying to appear as if he were +somewhere else. He tiptoed carefully to the window and had a look at the +_plage_. "The bonhomme wished to come and assure himself which of the +_demoiselles anglaises_ it was, to whom had arrived so terrible a +thing," said Madame, "but me, I knew. Is it not so, Henri?" she cried to +her husband. "I said it was this one there," and she pointed +triumphantly to me. As they were going he produced a large bottle of +Burgundy from a voluminous pocket in his coat tails. "Ha! _le +bonhomme!_" cried the incorrigible wife, "he would first see which +demoiselle it was before he presented the bottle!" Hubby appeared to be +slightly discomfited at this and beat a hasty retreat. + +And one day "Alice," whose baby I had doctored, arrived, and even she, +difficult as she found it to make both ends meet, had not come without +something. As she left she produced a little packet of lace wrapped in +newspaper, which she deposited on my bed with tears in her eyes. + +I used to lie awake at nights and wonder about those artificial legs, +just what they were like, and how much one would be able to cope with +them. It was a great pastime! Now that I really know what they _are_ +like it seems particularly humorous that I thought one would even sleep +in them. My great idea was to have the whole thing clamped on and keep +it there, and not tell anyone about it! Little did I know then what a +relief it is to get them off. One can only comfort oneself on these +occasions with the ancient jest that it is "the first seven years that +are the worst!" + +It is surprising how the illusions about artificial legs get knocked on +the head one by one. I discussed it with someone at Roehampton later. I +thought at least I should have jointed toes! An enterprising French firm +sent me a booklet about them one day. That really did bring things home +to me and I cried for the first time. + +My visitors varied in the social scale from French guttersnipes +(Jean-Marie, who had been wont to have my old boots, etc.), to +brigadier-generals. One afternoon Corporal Coy dropped in to enquire how +I was. As he remarked cheerfully, "It would have fair turned me up if +_you'd_ come round to the mortuary, miss!" + +He then settled himself comfortably in the armchair and proceeded to +entertain me. I only wished it didn't hurt so much to laugh. I asked him +if he had any new songs, and he accordingly gave me a selection _sotto +voce_. He would stop occasionally and say, "Noa, I can't sing you that +verse, it's too bad, aye, but it's a pity!" and shaking his head +mournfully he would proceed with the next! + +He was just in the middle of another when the door opened suddenly and +Sir A---- S---- (Inspector-General of Medical Services) was ushered in +by the Colonel. (The little corporal positively faded out of existence!) +I might add he was nearly if not quite as entertaining. + +"Nobby" Clark, a scion of the Labour Battalion, was another visitor who +called one afternoon, and I got permission for him to come up. He was +one of the local comedians and quite as good as any professional. I +would have gone miles to hear him. His famous monologue with his +imaginary friend "Linchpin" invariably brought the house down. He was +broad Lancashire and I had had a great idea of taking him off at one of +the FANTASTIK Concerts some time, but unfortunately, it was not to be. +He came tiptoeing in. "I thought I might take the liberty of coming to +enquire after you," he said, twisting his cap at the bottom of my bed (I +had learnt by this time to keep both hands hidden from sight as a hearty +shake is a jarring event). I asked him to sit down. "Bein' as you might +say fellow artistes; 'aving appeared so often on the same platform, I +had to come," he said affably! "I promised 'the boys' (old labour men of +about fifty and sixty years) I'd try and get a glimpse of you," he +continued, and he sat there and told me all the funny things he could +think of, or rather, they merely bubbled forth naturally. + +The weather--it was June then--got fearfully hot, and I found life +irksome to a degree, lying flat on my back unable to move, gazing at the +wonderful glass candelabra hanging from the middle of the ceiling. How I +wished each little crystal could tell me a story of what had happened in +this room where fortunes had been lost and won! It would have passed the +time at least. + +A friend had a periscope made for me, a most ingenious affair, through +which I was able to see people walking on the sands, and above all +horses being taken out for exercise in the mornings. + +The first W.A.A.C.s came out to France about this time, and I watched +them with interest through my periscope. I heard that a sand-bagged +dug-out had also been made for us in camp, and tin hats handed out; a +wise precaution in view of the bricks and shrapnel that rattled about +when we went out during air raids. I never saw the dug-out of course. We +had a mild air-raid one night, but no damage was done. + +My faithful friends kept me well posted with all the news, and I often +wonder on looking back if it had not been for them how ever I could have +borne life. The leg still jumped when I least expected it, and of course +I was never out of actual pain for a minute. + +One day, it was June then, the dressings were done at least an hour +earlier than usual, and the Colonel came in full of importance and +ordered the other two beds to be taken out of the ward. The Sister +could get nothing out of him for a long time. All he would say was that +the French Governor-General was going to give me the freedom of the +city! She knew he was only ragging and got slightly exasperated. At +last, as a great secret, he whispered to me that I was going to be +decorated with the French _Croix de Guerre_ and silver star. I was +dumbfounded for some minutes, and then concluded it was another joke and +paid no more attention. But the room was being rapidly cleared and I was +more and more puzzled. He arranged the vases of flowers where he thought +they showed to the best advantage, and seemed altogether in extremely +good form. + +At last he became serious and assured us that what he had said was +perfectly true. The mere thought of such an event happening made me feel +quite sick and faint, it was so overwhelming. + +The Colonel offered to bet me a box of chocolates the General would +embrace me, as is the custom in France on these occasions, and the +suggestion only added to my fright! + +About 11 o'clock as he had said, General Ditte, the governor of the +town, was announced, and in he marched, followed by his two +aides-de-camp in full regalia, the English Base Commandant and Staff +Captain, the Colonel of the hospital, the Belgian General and his two +aides-de-camp, as well as some French naval officers and attaches. Boss, +Eva, and the Sister were the only women present. The little room seemed +full to overflowing, and I wondered if at the supreme moment I would +faint or weep or be sick, or do something similarly foolish. The General +himself was so moved, however, while he read the "citation," and so were +all the rest, that that fact alone seemed to lend me courage. He turned +half way through to one of the aides-de-camp, who fumbled about (like +the best man at a wedding for the ring!) and finally, from his last +pocket, produced the little green case containing the _Croix de Guerre_. + +The supreme moment had arrived. The General's fingers trembled as he +lifted the medal from its case and walked forward to pin it on me. +Instead of wearing the usual "helpless" shirt, I had been put into some +of the afore-mentioned Paris frillies for the great occasion, and +suddenly I saw two long skewer-like prongs, like foreign medals always +have, bearing slowly down upon me! "Heavens," I thought, "I shall be +harpooned for a certainty!" Obviously the rest of the room thought so +too, and they all waited expectantly. It was a tense moment--something +had to be done and done quickly. An inspiration came to me. Just in the +nick of time I seized an unembroidered bit firmly between the finger and +thumb of both hands and held it a safe distance from me for the medal to +be fixed; the situation was saved. A sigh of relief (or was it +disappointment?) went up as the General returned to finish the citation, +and contrary to expectation he had not kissed me! He confided to someone +later I looked so white he was afraid I might faint. (It was a pity +about that box of chocolates, I felt!) + +Two large tears rolled down his cheeks as he finished, and then came +forward to shake hands; after that they all followed suit and I held on +to the bed with the other, for in the fullness of their hearts they gave +a jolly good shake! + +I was tremendously proud of my medal--a plain cross of bronze, with +crossed swords behind, made from captured enemy guns, with the silver +star glittering on the green and red ribbon above. It all seemed like a +dream, I could not imagine it really belonged to me. + +I was at the Casino nearly two months before I was sent to England in a +hospital ship. It was a very sad day for me when I had to say goodbye to +my many friends. Johnson and Marshall, the two mechanics, came up the +day before to bid goodbye, the former bringing a wonderful paper knife +that he had been engaged in making for weeks past. A F.A.N.Y button was +at the end of the handle, and the blade and rivets were composed of +English, French, and Boche shells, and last, but by no means least, he +had "sweated" on a ring from one of Susan's plugs! That pleased me more +than anything else could have done, and I treasure that paper knife +among my choicest souvenirs. Nearly all the F.A.N.Y.s came down the +night before I left, and I felt I'd have given all I possessed to stay +with them, in spite of the hard work and discomfort, so aptly described +in a parody of one of Rudyard Kipling's poems: + +THE F.A.N.Y. + + I wish my mother could see me now with a grease-gun under my car, + Filling my differential, ere I start for the camp afar, + Atop of a sheet of frozen iron, in cold that'd make you cry. + "Why do we do it?" you ask. "Why? We're the F.A.N.Y." + I used to be in Society--once; + Danced, hunted, and flirted--once; + Had white hands and complexion--once: + Now I'm an F.A.N.Y. + + That is what we are known as, that is what you must call, + If you want "Officers' Luggage," "Sisters," "Patients" an' all, + "Details for Burial Duty," "Hospital Stores" or "Supply," + Ring up the ambulance convoy, + "Turn out the F.A.N.Y." + They used to say we were idling--once; + Joy-riding round the battle-field--once; + Wasting petrol and carbide--once: + Now we're the F.A.N.Y. + + That is what we are known as; we are the children to blame, + For begging the loan of a spare wheel, and fitting a car to the same; + We don't even look at a workshop, but the Sergeant comes up with a sigh: + "It's no use denyin' 'em _nothin_'! + Give it the F.A.N.Y." + We used to fancy an air raid--once; + Called it a bit of excitement--once; + Prided ourselves on our tin-hats once: + Now we're the F.A.N.Y. + + That is what we are known as; we are the girls who have been + Over three years at the business; felt it, smelt it and seen. + Remarkably quick to the dug-out now, when the Archies rake the sky; + Till they want to collect the wounded, then it's + "Out with the F.A.N.Y." + "Crank! crank! you Fannies; + Stand to your 'buses again; + Snatch up the stretchers and blankets, + Down to the barge through the rain." + Up go the 'planes in the dawning; + 'Phone up the cars to "Stand by." + There's many a job with the wounded: + "Forward, the F.A.N.Y." + +I dreaded the journey over, and, though the sea for some time past had +been as smooth as glass, quite a storm got up that evening. All the +orderlies who had waited on me came in early next morning to bid +goodbye, and Captain C. carried me out of my room and downstairs to the +hall. I insisted on wearing my F.A.N.Y. cap and tunic to look as if +nothing was the matter, and once more I was on a stretcher. A bouquet of +red roses arrived from the French doctor just before I was carried out +of the hall, so that I left in style! It was an early start, for I was +to be on board at 7 a.m., before the ship was loaded up from the train. +Eva drove me down in her ambulance and absolutely crawled along, so +anxious was she to avoid all bumps. One of the sisters came with me and +was to cross to Dover as well (since the Boche had not even respected +hospital ships, sisters only went over with special cases). + +It struck me as odd that all the trees were out; they were only in bud +when I last saw them. + +Many of the French people we passed waved adieu, and I saw them +explaining to their friends in pantomime just what had happened. On the +way to the ship I lost my leg at least four times over! + +The French Battery had been told I was leaving, and was out in full +force, and I stopped to say goodbye and thank them for all they had done +and once again wave farewell--so different from the last time! They were +deeply moved, and followed with the doctor to the quay where they stood +in a row wiping their eyes. I almost felt as if I was at my own +funeral! + +The old stretcher-bearers were so anxious not to bump me that they were +clumsier in their nervousness than I had ever seen them! As I was pulled +out I saw that many of my friends, English, French, and Belgian, had +come down to give me a send off. They stood in absolute silence, and +again I felt as if I was at my own funeral. As I was borne down the +gangway into the ship I could bear it no longer, and pulled off my cap +and waved it in farewell. It seemed to break the spell, and they all +called out "Goodbye, good luck!" as I was borne round the corner out of +sight to the little cabin allotted me. + +Several of them came on board after, which cheered me tremendously. I +was very keen to have Eva with me as far as Dover, but, unfortunately, +official permission had been refused. The captain of the ship, however, +was a tremendous sportsman and said: "Of course, if my ship starts and +you are carried off by mistake, Miss Money, you can't expect me to put +back into port again, and _I_ shan't have seen you," he added with a +twinkle in his eye as he left us. You may be sure Eva was just too late +to land! He came along when we were under way and feigned intense +surprise. As a matter of fact he was tremendously bucked and said since +his ship had been painted grey instead of white and he had been given a +gun he was no longer a "hospital," but a "wounded transport," and +therefore was within the letter of the law to take a passenger if he +wanted to. The cabin was on deck and had been decorated with flowers in +every available space. The crossing, as luck would have it, was fairly +rough, and one by one the vases were pitched out of their stands on to +the floor. It was a tremendous comfort to me to have old Eva there. Of +course it leaked out as these things will, and there was even the +question of quite a serious row over it, but as the captain and everyone +else responsible had "positively not seen her," there was no one to +swear she had not overstayed her time and been carried off by mistake! +At Dover I had to say goodbye to her, the sister, and the kindly +captain, and very lonely I felt as my stretcher was placed on a trolley +arrangement and I was pushed up to the platform along an asphalt +gangway. The orderlies kept calling me "Sir," which was amusing. "Your +kit is in the front van, sir," and catching sight of my face, "I +mean--er--Miss, Gor'blimee! well, that's the limit!" and words failed +them. + +I was put into a ward on the train all by myself. I didn't care for that +train much, it stopped and started with such jolts, otherwise it was +quite comfy, and all the orderlies came in and out on fictitious errands +to have a look and try and get me anything I wanted. The consequence was +I had no less than three teas, two lots of strawberries, and a pile of +books and periodicals I could never hope to read! I had had lunch on +board when we arrived at one o'clock, before I was taken off. The +reason the journey took so long was that the loading and unloading of +stretchers from ship to train is a lengthy job and cannot be hustled. We +got to London about five. The E.M.O. was a cheery soul and came and +shook hands with me, and then, joy of joys, got four stretcher-bearers +to take me to an ambulance. With four to carry you there is not the +slightest movement, but with two there is the inevitable up and down +jog; only those who have been through it will know what I mean. I had +got Eva to wire to some friends, also to Thompson, the section leader +who was on leave, and by dint of Sherlock Holmes stunts they had +discovered at what station I was arriving. It was cheering to see some +familiar faces, but the ambulance only stopped for a moment, and there +was no time to say anything. + +As I was driven out of the station--it was Charing Cross--the old flower +women were loud in their exclamations. "Why, it's a dear little girl!" +cried one, and she bombarded Thompson with questions. (I felt the +complete fool!) "Bin drivin' the boys, 'as she? Bless 'er," and they ran +after the car, throwing in whole bunches of roses galore! I could have +hugged them for it, dear fat old things! They did their bit as much as +any of them, and never failed to throw their choicest roses to "the +boys" in the ambulances as they were driven slowly past. + +My troubles, I am sorry to say, began from then onwards. England seemed +quite unprepared for anything so unorthodox, and the general impression +borne in on me was that I was a complete nuisance. There was no +recognized hospital for "the likes of us" to go to, and I was taken to a +civilian one where war-work seemed entirely at a discount. I was carried +to a lift and jerked up to the top floor by a housemaid, when I was put +on a trolley and taken into a ward full of people. A sister came +forward, but there was no smile on her face and not one word of welcome, +and I began to feel rather chilled. "Put the case there," she said, +indicating an empty bed, and the "case," feeling utterly miserable and +dejected, was deposited! The rattle and noise of that ward was such a +contrast to my quiet little room in France (rather humorous this) that I +woke with a jump whenever I closed my eyes. + +Presently the matron made her rounds, and very luckily found there was a +vacant room, and I was taken into it forthwith. There was a notice +painted on the wall opposite to the effect that the bed was "given in +remembrance" of the late so-and-so of so-and-so--with date and year of +death, etc. I can see it now. If only it had been on the door outside +for the benefit of the visitors! It had the result of driving "the case" +almost to the verge of insanity. I could say the whole thing backwards +when I'd been in the room half an hour, not to mention the number of +letters and the different words one could make out of it! There was no +other picture in the room, as the walls were of some concrete stuff, so, +try as one would, it was impossible not to look at it. "Did he die in +this bed?" I asked interestedly of the sister, nodding in the direction +of the "In Memoriam."--"I'm sure I don't know," said she, eyeing me +suspiciously. "We have enough to do without bothering about things like +that," and she left the room. I began to feel terribly lonely; how I +missed all my friends and the cheerful, jolly orderlies in France! The +frowsy housemaid who brought up my meals was anything but inspiring. My +dear little "helpless" shirt was taken away and when I was given a good +stuff nightdress in its place, I felt my last link with France had gone! + +The weather--it was July then--got terribly hot, and I lay and +sweltered. It was some relief to have all bandages removed from my right +leg. + +There were mews somewhere in the vicinity, and I could smell the horses +and even hear them champing in their stalls! I loved that, and would lie +with my eyes shut, drinking it in, imagining I was back in the stables +in far away Cumberland, sitting on the old corn bin listening to Jimmy +Jardine's wonderful tales of how the horses "came back" to him in the +long ago days of his youth. When they cleaned out the stables I had my +window pulled right up! "Fair sick it makes me," called my neighbour +from the next room, but I was quite happy. Obviously everyone can't be +satisfied in this world! + +The doctor was of the "bluff and hearty" species and, on entering the +first morning, had exclaimed, in a hail-fellow-well-met tone, "So you're +the young lady who's had her leg chopped off, are you? ha, ha!" Hardly +what one might call tactful, what? I withdrew my hand and put it behind +my back. In time though we became fairly good friends, but how I longed +to be back in France again! + +Being a civilian hospital they were short-staffed. "Everyone seems mad +on war work," said one sister to me peevishly, "they seem to forget +there are civilians to nurse," and she flounced out of the room. + +A splendid diversion was caused one day when the Huns came over in full +force (thirty to forty Gothas) in a daylight raid. I was delighted! This +was something I really _did_ understand. It was topping to hear the guns +blazing away once more. Everyone in the place seemed to be ringing their +electric bells, and, afraid I might miss something, I put my finger on +mine and held it there. Presently the matron appeared: "You can't be +taken to the cellar," she said, "it's no good being nervous, you're as +safe here as anywhere!" "It wasn't that," I said, "I wondered if I might +have a wheel chair and go along the corridor to see them." "Rubbish," +said she, "I never heard of such a thing," and she hurried on to quiet +the patient in the next room. But by dint of screwing myself half on to +a chair near the window I did just get a glimpse of the sky and saw +about five of the Huns manoeuvring. Good business! + +One of the things I suffered from most, was visitors whom I had never +seen in my life before. There would be a tap at the door; enter lady, +beautifully dressed and a large smile. The opening sentence was +invariably the same. "You won't know who I am, but I'm Lady L----, Miss +so-and-so's third cousin. She told me all about you, and I thought I +really _must_ come and have a peep." Enters and subsides into chair near +bed smiling sweetly, and in nine cases out of ten jiggles toes against +it, which jars one excessively. "You must have suffered _terribly_! I +hear your leg was absolutely _crushed_! And now tell me all about it! +Makes you rather sick to talk of it? Fancy that! Conscious all the time, +dear me! What you must have gone _through_! (Leg gives one of its +jumps.) Whatever was that? Only keeping your knee from getting stiff, +how funny! _Lovely_ having the _Croix de Guerre_. Quite makes up for it. +What? Rather have your _leg_. Dear me, how odd! Wonderful what they do +with those artificial limbs nowadays. Know a man and really you can't +tell _which_ is which. (Naturally not, any fool could make a leg the +shape of the other!) Well, I really _must_ be going. I shall be able to +tell all my friends I've _seen_ you now and been able to cheer you up a +little. _Poor_ girl! _So_ unfortunate! Terribly cheerful, aren't you? +Don't seem to mind a bit. Would you kindly ring for the lift? I find +these stairs _so trying_. I've enjoyed myself so much. Goodbye." Exit +(goodby-ee). In its way it was amusing at first, but one day I sent for +the small porter, Tommy, aged twelve (I had begun to sympathise with +the animals in the Zoo). "Tommy," I said, "if you _dare_ to let anyone +come up and see me unless they're _personal_ friends, you won't get that +shell head I promised you. Don't be put off, make them describe me. +You'll be sorry if you don't." + +Tremendous excitement one day when I went out for my first drive in a +car sent from the Transport Department of the Red Cross. Two of the +nurses came with me, and I was lifted in by the stalwart driver. "A +quiet drive round the park, I suppose, Miss?" he asked. "No," I said +firmly, "down Bond Street and then round and round Piccadilly Circus +first, and then the Row to watch the people riding" (an extremely +entertaining pastime). He had been in the Argentine and "knew a horse if +he saw one," and no mistake. + +The next day a huge gilded basket of blue hydrangeas arrived from the +"bird" flower shop in Bond Street, standing at least three feet high, +the sole inscription on the card being, "From the Red Cross driver." It +was lovely and I was extremely touched; my room for the time being was +transformed. + +I was promised a drive once a week, but they were unfortunately +suspended as I had an operation on July 31st for the jumping sciatic +nerve and once more was reduced to lying flat on my back. There was a +man over the mews who beat his wife regularly twice per week, or else +_she_ beat him. I could never discover which, and used to lie staring +into the darkness listening to the "sounds of revelry by night," not to +mention the choicest flow of language floating up into the air. I was +measured for a pair of crutches some time later by a lugubrious +individual in a long black frock coat looking like an undertaker. I +objected to the way he treated me, as if I were already a "stiff," +ignoring me completely, saying to the nurse: "Kindly put the case +absolutely flat and full length," whereupon he solemnly produced a tape +measure! + +I was moved to a nursing home for the month of August, as the hospital +closed for cleaning, and there, quite forgetting to instruct the people +about strangers, I was beset by another one afternoon. A cousin who has +been gassed and shell-shocked had come in to read to me. There was a tap +on the door. "Mrs. Fierce," announced the porter, and in sailed a lady +whom I had never seen in my life before. (I want the readers of these +"glimpses" to know that the following conversation is absolutely as it +took place and has not been exaggerated or added to in the very least.) + +She began with the old formula. "You won't know me, etc., but I'm +so-and-so." She did not pause for breath, but went straight ahead. "It's +the second time I've been to call on you," she said, in an aggrieved +voice. "I came three weeks ago when you were at ---- Hospital. You had +_just_ had an operation and were coming round, and would you believe it, +though I had come _all_ the way from West Kensington, they wouldn't let +me come up and see you--positively _rude_ the boy was at the door." (I +uttered a wordless prayer for Tommy!) + +"It was very kind of you," I murmured, "but I hardly think you would +have liked to see me just then; I wasn't looking my best. Chloroform has +become one of my _betes noires_." "Oh, I shouldn't have minded," said +the lady; "I thought it was so inconsiderate of them not to let me up. +So sad for you, you lost your _foot_," she chattered on, eyeing the +cradle with interest. I winked at my cousin, a low habit but excusable +on occasions. We did not enlighten her it was more than the foot. Then I +was put through the usual inquisition, except that it was if possible a +little more realistic than usual. "Did it bleed?" she asked with gusto. +I began to enjoy myself (one gets hardened in time). "Fountains," I +replied, "the ground is still discoloured, and though they have dug it +over several times it's no good--it's like Rizzio's blood at Holyrood, +the stain simply won't go away!" My cousin hastily sneezed. "How very +curious," said the lady, "so interesting to hear all these details +_first_ hand! Young man," and she fixed Eric with her lorgnettes, "have +_you_ been wounded--I see _no_ stripe on your arm?" and she eyed him +severely. Now E. has always had a bit of a stammer, but at times it +becomes markedly worse. We were both enjoying ourselves tremendously: +"N-n-n-no," he replied, "s-s-s-shell s-s-s-shock!" + +"Dear me, however did _that_ happen?" she asked. "I w-w-was b-b-b-blown +i-i-i-into t-t-t-the air," he replied, smiling sweetly. + +"How high?" asked the lady, determined to get to the bottom of it, and +not at all sure in her own mind he wasn't a conscientious objector +masquerading in uniform. "As all t-t-the other m-m-men were k-k-killed +b-b-b-by t-t-t-the same s-s-shell, t-t-there was n-n-no one t-t-there +t-t-t-to c-c-c-count," he replied modestly. (I knew the whole story of +how he had been left for two whole days in No-man's-land, with Boche +shells dropping round the place where he was lying, and could have +killed her cheerfully if the whole thing had not been so funny.) + +Having gleaned more lurid details with which we all too willingly +supplied her, she finally departed. + +"Fierce by name and fierce by nature," I said, as the door closed. "I +wonder sometimes if those women spend all their time rushing from bed to +bed asking the men to describe all they've been through--I feel like +writing to _John Bull_ about it," I added, "but I don't believe the +average person would believe it. Tact seems to be a word unknown in some +vocabularies." The cream of the whole thing was that, not content with +the information she had gleaned, when she got downstairs, she asked to +see my nurse. The poor thing was having tea at the time, but went +running down in case it was something important. + +"Will you tell me," said Mrs. F. confidentially, "if that young man is +engaged to Miss B.?" (The "young man," I might add, has a very charming +fiancee of his own), and how we all laughed when she came up with the +news! + +The faithful "Wuzzy" had been confided to the care of a friend at the +Remount Camp, and I was delighted to get some snaps of him taken by a +Frenchman at Neuve-Chapelle--I felt my "idiot son" was certainly seeing +life! "In reply to your question" (said my friend in a letter), "as to +whether I have discovered Wuzzy's particular 'trait' yet, the answer as +far as I can make out appears to be 'chickens'!" + +In time I began to get about on crutches, and the question next arose +where I was to go and convalesce, and the then strange, but now all too +familiar phrase was first heard. "If you were only a man, of course it +would be _so_ easy." As if it was _my_ fault I wasn't? It was no good +protesting I had always wished I had been one; it did not help matters +at all. + +I came to the conclusion there were too many women in England. If I had +only been a Boche girl now I might at least have had several Donnington +Halls put at my disposal! I was finally sent to Brighton, and thanks to +Lady Dudley's kindness, became an out-patient of one of her officers' +hospitals, but even then it was a nuisance being a girl. Another +disadvantage was that all the people treated me as if I was a strange +animal from the Zoo; men on crutches had become unfortunately a too +familiar sight, but a F.A.N.Y. was something quite new, and therefore an +object to be stared at. Some days I felt quite brazen, but others I went +out for about five minutes and returned, refusing to move for the rest +of the day. It would have been quite different if several F.A.N.Y.s had +been in a similar plight, but alone, one gets tired of being gaped at as +a _rara avis_. + +The race meetings were welcome events and great sport, to which we all +went with gusto. I fell down one day on the Parade, getting into my bath +chair. It gave me quite a jar, but it must be got over some time as a +lesson, for of course I put out the leg that wasn't there and went smack +on the asphalt! One learns in time to remember these details. + +It was ripping to see friends from France who ran down for the day, and +when the F.A.N.Y.s came over, how eagerly I listened to all the news! +The lines from one of our songs often rang through my brain: + + "On the sandy shores of France + Looking Blighty-wards to sea, + There's a little camp a-sitting + And it's all the world to me-- + For the cars are gently humming, + And the 'phone bell's ringing yet, + Come up, you British Convoy, + Come ye up to Fontinettes-- + On the road to Fontinettes + Where the trains have to be met; + Can't you hear the cars a-chunking + Through the Rue to Fontinettes? + + "On the road to Fontinettes + Where the stretcher-bearers sweat, + And the cars come up in convoy, + From the camp to Fontinettes. + + "For 'er uniform is khaki, + And 'er little car is green, + And 'er name is only FANNY + (And she's not exactly clean!) + And I see'd 'er first a'smoking + Of a ration cigarette. + And a'wasting army petrol + Cleaning clothes, 'cos she's in debt." + On the road to Fontinettes, etc. + +I longed to be back so much sometimes that it amounted almost to an +ache! This, and the fact of being the only one, I feel sure partly +accounted for it that I became ill. According to the doctor I ought to +have been in a proper hospital, and then once again the difficulty arose +of finding one to go to. Boards and committees sat on me figuratively +and almost literally, too, but could come to no conclusion. Though I +could be in a military hospital in France it was somehow not to be +thought of in England. Finally I heard a W.A.A.C.'s ward had been opened +in London at a military hospital run by women doctors for Tommies, and I +promptly sat down and applied for admittance. Yes, I could go there, and +so at the end of November, I found myself once more back in London. I +was in a little room--a W.A.A.C. officers' ward, on the same floor as +the medical ward for W.A.A.C. privates. I met them at the concerts that +were often given in the recreation room, and they were extremely kind +to me. I was amused to hear them discussing their length of active +service. One who could boast of six months was decidedly the nut of the +party! We had a great many air raids, and were made to go down to the +ground floor, which annoyed me intensely. I hated turning out, apart +from the cold; it seemed to be giving in to the Boche to a certain +extent. + +I loved my charlady. She was the nearest approach to the cheery +orderlies of those far away days in France, I had struck since I came +over. Her smiling face, as she appeared at the door every morning with +broom and coalscuttle, was a tonic in itself. I used to keep her talking +just as long as I could--she was so exceedingly alive. + +"Do I mind the air rides, Miss? Lor' bless you no--nothin' I like better +than to 'ear the guns bangin' awy. If it wasn't for the childer I'd fair +enjoy it--we lives up 'hIslington wy, and the first sounds of firing I +wrep them up, and we all goes to the church cryp and sings 'ims with the +parson's wife a'plying. Grand it is, almost as good as a revival +meeting!" + +(One in the eye for Fritz what?) + +I asked her, as it was getting near Christmas, if she would let me take +her two little girls (eight and twelve respectively) to see a children's +fairy play. She was delighted. They had never been to a theatre at all, +and were waiting for me one afternoon outside the hospital gates, very +clean and smiling, and absolutely dancing with excitement. I was of +course on crutches, and as it was a greasy, slippery day, looked about +for a taxi. It was hopeless, and without a word the elder child ran off +to get one. The way she nipped in and out of the traffic was positively +terrifying, but she returned triumphant in the short space of five +minutes, and we were soon at the door of the theatre. + +I had to explain that the wicked fairies leaping so realistically from +Pandora's box weren't real at all, but I'm sure I did not convince the +smaller one, who was far too shy and excited to utter a word beyond a +startled whisper: "Yes, Miss," or "No, Miss." There were wails in the +audience when the witch appeared, and several small boys near us doubled +under their seats in terror, like little rabbits going to earth, +refusing to come out again, poor little pets! + +In the interval the two children watched the orchestra with wide-eyed +interest. "I guess that guy wot's wyving 'is arms abaht like that +(indicating the conductor) must be getting pretty tired," said the elder +to me. I felt he would have been gratified to know there was someone who +sympathised! + +Altogether it was a most entertaining afternoon, and when we came out in +the dark and rain the eldest again slipped off to get a taxi, dodging +cabs and horses with the dexterity of an acrobat. + +Christmas came round, and there was tremendous competition between the +different wards, which vied with each other over the most original +decorations. + +At midday I was asked into the W.A.A.C.'s ward, where we had roast beef +and plum pudding. The two women doctors who ran the hospital visited +every ward and drank a toast after lunch. I don't know what they toasted +in the men's wards, but in the W.A.A.C.'s it was roughly, "To the women +of England, and the W.A.A.C.s who would win the war, etc." It seemed too +bad to leave out the men who were in the trenches, so I drank one +privately to them on my own. + +As I sat in my little ward that night I thought of the happy times we +had had last Christmas in the convoy, only a short year before. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +ROEHAMPTON: "BOB" THE GREY, AND THE ARMISTICE + +After Christmas it was thought I was well enough to be fitted with an +artificial limb, and in due course I applied to the limbless hospital at +Roehampton. The reply came back in a few days. + + "DEAR SIR, (I groaned), + + "You must apply to so-and-so and we will then be able to + give you a bed in a fortnight's time, etc. + + _Signed_: "SISTER D." + +My heart sank. I was up against the old question again, and in +desperation I wrote back: + + "DEAR MADAM, + + "My trouble is that I am a girl, etc." + +and poured forth all my woes on the subject. Sister D., who proved to be +an absolute topper, was considerably amused and wrote back most +sympathetically. She promised to do all she could for me and told the +surgeon the whole story, and it was arranged for him to see me and +advise what type of leg I had better wear and then decide where I was to +be put up later. He was most kind, but I returned from the interview +considerably depressed for, before I could wear an artificial leg, +another operation had to be performed. It took place at the military +hospital in January and I felt I should have to hurry in order to be +"doing everything as usual" by the time the year was up, as Captain C. +had promised. + +For some reason, when I came round I found myself in the big W.A.A.C.s' +ward, and never returned to my little room again. I did not mind the +change so much except for the noise and the way the whole room vibrated +whenever anyone walked or ran past my bed. They nearly always did the +latter, for they were none of them very ill. The building was an old +workhouse which had been condemned just before the war, and the floor +bent and shook at the least step. I found this particularly trying as +the incision a good six inches long had been made just behind my knee, +and naturally, as it rested on a pillow, I felt each vibration. + +The sheets were hard to the touch and grey in colour even when clean, +and the rows of scarlet blankets were peculiarly blinding. I realised +the meaning of the saying: "A red rag to a bull," and had every sympathy +with the animal! (It was so humorous to look at things from a patient's +point of view.) It had always been our ambition at Lamarck to have red +top blankets on every bed in our wards. "They make the place look so +bright and cheerful!" I daresay these details would have passed +unnoticed in the ordinary way, but I had already had eight months of +hospitals, during which time I had hardly ever been out of pain, and all +I craved was quiet and rest. Some of the women doctors were terribly +sarcastic. + +We were awakened at 5 a.m. as per hospital routine (how often I had been +loth to waken the patients at Lamarck), and most of the W.A.A.C.s got up +and dressed, the ones who were not well enough remaining in bed. At six +o'clock we had breakfast, and one of them pushed a trolly containing +slices of bread and mugs of tea from bed to bed. It rattled like a +pantechnicon and shook the whole place, and I hated it out of all +proportion. The ward was swept as soon as breakfast was over. How I +dreaded that performance! I lay clenching the sides of the bed in +expectation; for as surely as fate the sweeping W.A.A.C. caught her +brush firmly in one of the legs. "Sorry, miss, did it ketch you?" she +would exclaim, "there, I done it agin; drat this broom!" + +There were two other patients in the room who relished the quiet in the +afternoons when most of the W.A.A.C.s went out on pass. One of them was +a sister from the hospital, and the other a girl suffering from cancer, +both curtained off in distant corners. "Now for a sleep, sister," I +would call, as the last one departed, but as often as not just as we +were dropping off a voice would rouse us, saying: "Good afternoon, I've +just come in to play the piano to you for a little," and without waiting +for a reply a cheerful lady would sit down forthwith and bang away +virtuously for an hour! + +We had had a good many air raids before Christmas and I hoped Fritz +would reserve his efforts in that direction till I could go about on +crutches again. No such luck, however, for at 10 o'clock one night the +warnings rang out. I trusted, as I had had my operations so recently, I +should be allowed to remain; but some shrapnel had pierced the roof of +the ward in a former raid and everyone had to be taken down willy-nilly. +I hid under the sheets, making myself as flat as possible in the hopes +of escaping. I was discovered of course and lifted into a wheel chair +and taken down in the lift to the Padre's room, where all the W.A.A.C.s +were already assembled. Our guns were blazing away quite heartily, the +"London front" having recently been strengthened. Just as I got down, +the back wheel of my chair collapsed, which was cheering! + +We sat there for some time listening to the din. Everyone was feeling +distinctly peevish, and not a few slightly "breezy," as it was quite a +bad raid. I wondered what could be done to liven up the proceedings, and +presently espied a pile of hymn-books which I solemnly handed out, +choosing "Onward Christian Soldiers" as the liveliest selection! I could +not help wondering what the distant F.A.N.Y.s would have thought of the +effort. In the middle of "Greenland's spicy mountains," one W.A.A.C. +varied the proceedings by throwing a fit, and later on another fainted; +beyond that nothing of any moment happened till the firing, punctuated +by the dropping bombs, became so loud that every other sound was +drowned. Some of the W.A.A.C.s were convinced we were all "for it" and +would be burnt to death, but I assured them as my chair had broken, and +I had no crutches even if I could use them, I should be burnt to a +cinder long before any of them! This seemed to comfort them to a certain +extent. I could tell by the sound of the bombs as they exploded that the +Gothas could not be far away; and then, suddenly, we heard the engines +quite plainly, and there was a terrific rushing sound I knew only too +well. The crash came, but, though the walls rocked and the windows +rattled in their sockets, they did not fall. + +Above the din we heard a woman's piercing scream, "Oh God, I'm burning!" +as she ran down the street. Simultaneously the reflection of a red glare +played on the walls opposite. All was confusion outside, and the sound +of rushing feet pierced by screams from injured women and children +filled the air. It was terrible to sit there powerless, unable to do +anything to help. The hospital had just been missed by a miracle, but +some printing offices next door were in flames, and underneath was a +large concrete dug-out holding roughly 150 people. What the total +casualties were I never heard. Luckily a ward had just been evacuated +that evening and the wounded and dying were brought in immediately. It +was horrible to see little children, torn and maimed, being carried past +our door into the ward. The hum of the Gotha's engines could still be +heard quite distinctly. + +Sparks flew past the windows, but thanks to the firemen who were on the +spot almost immediately, the fire was got under and did not spread to +the hospital. + +It was a terrible night! How I longed to be able to give the Huns a +taste of their own medicine! + +The "All clear" was not sounded till 3 a.m. Many of the injured died +before morning, after all that was humanly possible had been done for +them. I heard some days later that a discharged soldier, who had been in +the dug-out when the bomb fell, was nearly drowned by the floods of +water from the hoses, and was subsequently brought round by artificial +respiration. He was heard to exclaim: "Humph, first they wounds me aht +in France, then they tries to drown me in a bloomin' air raid!" + +There was one W.A.A.C.--Smith we will call her--who could easily have +made her fortune on the stage, she was so clever at imitations. She +would "take you off" to your face and make you laugh in spite of +yourself. She was an East-ender and witty in the extreme, warm of heart +but exceedingly quick-tempered. I liked her tremendously, she was so +utterly alive and genuine. + +One night I was awakened from a doze by a tremendous hubbub going on in +the ward. Raising myself on an elbow I saw Smith shaking one of the +W.A.A.C.s, who was hanging on to a bed for support, as a terrier might a +rat. + +"You would, would you?" I heard her exclaim. "Sy it againe, yer +white-ficed son of a gun yer!" and she shook her till her teeth +chattered. I never found out what the "white-ficed" one had said, but +she showed no signs of repeating the offence. I felt as if I was in the +gallery at Drury Lane and wanted to shout, "Go on, 'it 'er," but just +restrained myself in time! + +A girl orderly was despatched in haste for one of the head doctors, and +I awaited her arrival with interest, wondering just how she would deal +with the situation. + +However, the "Colonel" apparently thought discretion the better part of +valour, and sent the Sergeant-Major--the only man on the staff--to cope +with the delinquent. I was fearfully disappointed. Smith checkmated him +splendidly by retiring into the bath where she sat soaking for two +hours. What was the poor man to do? It was getting late, and for all he +knew she might elect to stay there all night. He knew of no precedent +and ran in and out of the ward, flapping his arms in a helpless manner. +I felt Smith had decidedly won the day. Imagine an ordinary private +behaving thus! + +There were sudden periodical evacuations of the ward, and one day I was +told my bed would be required for a more urgent case--a large convoy was +expected from France and so many beds had to be vacated. Three weeks +after my operation I left the hospital and arranged to stay with friends +in the country. As it was a long railway journey and I was hardly +accustomed to crutches again, I wanted to stay the night in town. +However, one comes up against some extraordinary types of people. For +example, the hotel where my aunt was staying refused to take me in, even +for one night, on the score that "_they_ didn't want any invalids!" I +could not help wondering a little bitterly where these same people would +have been but for the many who were now permanent invalids and for those +others, as Kipling reminds us, "whose death has set us free." I could +not help noticing that at home one either came up against extreme +sympathy and kindness or else utter callousness--there seemed to be no +half-measures. + +In March I again hoped to go to Roehampton, but my luck was dead out. I +could still bear no pressure on the wretched nerve, and another +operation was performed almost immediately. + +The W.A.A.C.s' ward was all very well as an experience, but the noise +and shaking, not to mention the thought of the broom catching my bed +regularly every morning, was too much to face again. The surgeon who was +operating tried to get me into his hospital for officers where there +were several single rooms vacant at the time. + +Vain hope. Again the familiar phrase rang out, and once more I +apologised for being a female, and was obliged to make arrangements to +return to the private nursing home where I had been in August. The year +was up, and here I was still having operations. I was disgusted in the +extreme. + +When I was at last fit to go to Roehampton the question of accommodation +again arose. I never felt so sick in all my life I wasn't a +man--committees and matrons sat and pondered the question. Obviously I +was a terrible nuisance and no one wanted to take any responsibility. +The mother superior of the Sacred Heart Convent at Roehampton heard of +it and asked me to stay there. Though I was not of their faith they +welcomed me as no one else had done since my return, and I was +exceedingly happy with them. It was a change to be really wanted +somewhere. + +In time I got fairly hardened to the stares from passers-by, and it was +no uncommon thing for an absolute stranger to come up and ask, "Have you +lost your leg?" The fact seemed fairly obvious, but still some people +like verbal confirmation of everything. One day in Harrod's, just after +the 1918 push, one florid but obviously sympathetic lady exclaimed, +"Dear me, poor girl, did you lose your leg in the recent push?" It was +then the month of June (some good going to be up on crutches in that +time!) Several staff officers were buying things at the same counter and +turned at her question to hear my reply. "No, not in this _last_ push," +I said, "but the one just before," and moved on. They appeared to be +considerably amused. + +How I loathed crutches! One nightmare in which I often indulged was +that I found, in spite of having lost my leg, I could really walk in +some mysterious way quite well without them. I would set off joyfully, +and then to my horror suddenly discover my plight and fall smack. I woke +to find the nerve had been at its old trick again. Sometimes I was +seized with a panic that when I did get my leg I should not be able to +use it, and worse still, never ride again. That did not bear thinking +of. + +I went to the hospital every day for fittings and at last the day +arrived when I walked along holding on to handrails on each side and +watching my "style" in a glass at the end of the room for the purpose. +My excitement knew no bounds! It was a tedious business at first getting +it to fit absolutely without paining and took some time. I could hear +the men practising walking in the adjoining room to the refrain of the +"Broken Doll," the words being: + + "I only lost my leg a year ago. + I've got a 'Rowley,' now, I'd have you know. + I soon learnt what pain was, I thought I knew, + But now my poor old leg is black, and red, white and blue! + The fitter said, 'You're walking very well,' + I told him he could take his leg to ----, + But they tell me that some day I'll walk right away, + By George! and with my Rowley too!" + +It was at least comforting to know that in time one would! + +Half an hour's fitting was enough to make the leg too tender for +anything more that day, and I discovered to my joy that I was quite +well able to drive a small car with one foot. I was lent a sporting +Morgan tri-car which did more to keep up my spirits than anything else. +The side brake was broken and somehow never got repaired, so the one +foot had quite an exciting time. It was anything but safe, but it did +not matter. One day, driving down the Portsmouth Road with a +fellow-sufferer, a policeman waved his arms frantically in front of us. +"What's happened," I asked my friend, "are we supposed to stop?" "I'm +afraid so," he replied, "I should think we've been caught in a trap." +(One gets into bad habits in France!) + +As we drew up and the policeman saw the crutches, he said: "I'm sorry, +sir, I didn't see your crutches, or I wouldn't have pulled you up." The +friend, who happened to be wearing his leg, said, "Oh, they aren't mine, +they belong to this lady." The good policeman was temporarily +speechless. When at last he got his wind he was full of concern. "You +don't say, sir? Well, I _never_ did. Don't you take on, _we_ won't run +you in, Miss," he added consolingly, turning to me. "I'll fix the +stop-watch man." I was beginning to enjoy myself immensely. He regarded +us for some minutes and made a round of the car. "Well," he said at +last, "_I_ call you a couple o' sports!" We were convulsed! + +At that moment the stop-watch man hurried up, looking very serious, and +I watched the expression on his face change to one of concern as the +policeman told him the tale. + +"We won't run you in, not us," he declared stoutly, in concert with the +policeman. + +"What were we doing?" I asked, as he looked at his stop-watch. + +"Thirty and a fraction over," he replied. "Only thirty!" I exclaimed, in +a disappointed voice, "I thought we were doing _at least_ forty!" + +"First time anyone's ever said that to _me_, Miss," he said; "it's usual +for them to swear it wasn't a mile above twenty!" + +"A couple o' sports," the policeman murmured again. + +"I think _you're_ the couple of sports," I said laughing. + +"Well," said the stop-watch man, lifting his cap, "we won't keep you any +longer, Miss, a pleasant afternoon to you, and (with a knowing look) +there's _nothing_ on the road from here to Cobham!" + +Of course the Morgan broke all records after that! + +Unfortunately, in July, I was obliged to undergo an operation on my +right foot, where it had been injured. By great good luck it was +arranged to be done in the sister's sick ward at the hospital. It was +not successful though, and at the end of August a second was performed, +bringing the total up to six, by which time I loathed chloroform more +than anything else on earth. + +Before I returned to the convent again, the King and Queen with Princess +Mary came down to inspect the hospital. + +It was an imposing picture. The sisters and nurses in their white caps +and aprons lined the steps of the old red-brick, Georgian House, while +on the lawn six to seven hundred limbless Tommies were grouped, forming +a wonderful picture in their hospital blue against the green. + +I was placed with the officers under the beautiful cedar trees and had a +splendid view, while on the left the different limb makers had models of +their legs and arms. The King and Queen were immensely interested and +watched several demonstrations, after which they came and shook each one +of us by hand, speaking a few words. I was immensely struck by the +King's voice and its deep resonant qualities. It is wonderful, in view +of the many thousands he interviews, that to each individual he gives +the impression of a real personal interest. + +I soon returned to the convent, and there in the beautiful gardens +diligently practised walking with the help of two sticks. The joy of +being able to get about again was such that I could have wept. The +Tommies at the hospital took a tremendous interest in my progress. +"Which one is it?" they would call as I went there each morning. "Pick +it up, Miss, pick it up!" (one trails it at first). The fitter was a man +of most wonderful patience and absolutely untiring in his efforts to do +any little thing to ease the fitting. I often wonder he did not brain +his more fussy patients with their wooden legs and have done with it! + +"Got your knee, Miss?" the men would call sometimes. "You're lucky." +When I saw men who had lost an arm and sometimes both legs, from above +the knee too, I realised just how lucky I was. They were all so +splendidly cheerful. I knew too well from my own experience what they +must have gone through; and again I could only pray that something good +would come out of all this untold suffering, and that these men would +not be forgotten by a grateful country when peace reigned once more. + +I often watched them playing bowls on the lawn with a marvellous +dexterity--a one-armed man holding the chair steady for a double +amputation while the latter took his aim. + +I remember seeing a man struggling painfully along with an +above-the-knee leg, obviously his first day out. A group of men watched +his efforts. "Pick it up, Charlie!" they called, "we'll race you to the +cedars!" but Charlie only smiled, not a bit offended, and patiently +continued along the terrace. + +At last I was officially "passed out" by the surgeon, and after eighteen +months was free from hospitals. What a relief! No longer anyone to +reproach me because I wasn't a man! It was my great wish to go out to +the F.A.N.Y.s again when I had got thoroughly accustomed to my leg. I +tried riding a bicycle, and after falling off once or twice "coped" +quite well, but it was not till November that I had the chance to try a +horse. I was down at Broadstairs and soon discovered a job-master and +arranged to go out the next day. I hardly slept at all that night I was +so excited at the prospect. The horse I had was a grey, rather a +coincidence, and not at all unlike my beloved grey in France. Oh the joy +of being in a saddle again! A lugubrious individual with a bottle nose +(whom I promptly christened "Dundreary" because of his long whiskers) +came out with me. He was by way of being a riding master, but for all +the attention he paid I might have been alone. + +I suggested finding a place for a canter after we had trotted some +distance and things felt all right. I was so excited to find I could +ride again with comparatively little inconvenience I could hardly +restrain myself from whooping aloud. I presently infected "Dundreary," +who, in his melancholy way, became quite jovial. I rode "Bob" every day +after that and felt that after all life was worth living again. + +On November 11th came the news of the armistice. The flags and +rejoicings in the town seemed to jar somehow. I was glad to be out of +London. A drizzle set in about noon and the waves beat against the +cliffs in a steady boom not unlike the guns now silent across the water. +Through the mist I seemed to see the ghosts of all I knew who had been +sacrificed in the prime of their youth to the god of war. I saw the +faces of the men in the typhoid wards and heard again the groans as the +wounded and dying were lifted from the ambulance trains on to the +stretchers. It did not seem a time for loud rejoicings, but rather a +quiet thankfulness that we had ended on the right side and their lives +had not been lost in vain. + +The words of Robert Nichols' "Fulfilment," from _Ardours and Endurances_ +(Chatto & Windus), rang through my brain. He has kindly given me +permission to reproduce them: + + Was there love once? I have forgotten her. + Was there grief once? Grief yet is mine. + Other loves I have, men rough, but men who stir + More grief, more joy, than love of thee and mine. + + Faces cheerful, full of whimsical mirth, + Lined by the wind, burned by the sun; + Bodies enraptured by the abounding earth, + As whose children we are brethren: one. + + And any moment may descend hot death + To shatter limbs! pulp, tear, blast + Beloved soldiers, who love rough life and breath + Not less for dying faithful to the last. + + O the fading eyes, the grimed face turned bony, + Open mouth gushing, fallen head, + Lessening pressure of a hand shrunk, clammed, and stony + O sudden spasm, release of the dead! + + Was there love once? I have forgotten her. + Was there grief once? Grief yet is mine. + O loved, living, dying, heroic soldier + All, all, my joy, my grief, my love are thine! + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + +AFTER TWO YEARS + + +My dream of going out to work again with the F.A.N.Y.s was never +realised. Something always seemed to be going wrong with the leg; but I +was determined to try and pay them a visit before they were demobilised. +On these occasions the word "impossible" must be cut out of one's +vocabulary (_vide_ Napoleon), and off I set one fine morning. Everything +seemed strangely unaltered, the same old train down to Folkestone, the +same porters there, the same old ship and lifebelts; and when I got to +Boulogne nearly all the same old faces on the quay to meet the boat! I +rubbed my eyes. Had I really been away two years or was it only a sort +of lengthy nightmare? I walked down the gangway and there was the same +old rogue of a porter in his blue smocking. Yet the town seemed +strangely quiet without the incessant marching of feet as the troops +came and went. "We never thought to see _you_ out here again, Miss," +said the same man in the transport department at the Hotel Christol! + +I went straight up to the convoy at St. Omer, and had tea in the camp +from which they had been shelled only a year before. This convoy of +F.A.N.Y.s, to which many of my old friends had been transferred, was +attached to the 2nd army, and had as its divisional sign a red herring. +The explanation being that one day a certain general visited the camp, +and on leaving said: "Oh, by the way, are you people 'army'?" + +"No," replied the F.A.N.Y., "not exactly." + +"Red Cross then?" + +"Well, not exactly. It's like this," she explained: "We work for the Red +Cross and the cars are theirs, but we are attached to the second army; +we draw our rations from the army and we're called F.A.N.Y.S." + +"'Pon my soul," he cried, "you're neither fish, flesh, nor fowl, but +you're thundering good red herrings!" + +It was a foregone conclusion that a red herring should become their sign +after that! + +The next day I was taken over the battlefields through Arcques, where +the famous "Belle" still manipulates the bridge, and along by the Nieppe +Forest. We could still see the trenches and dug-outs used in the fierce +fighting there last year. A cemetery in a little clearing by the side of +the road, the graves surmounted by plain wooden crosses, was the first +of many we were to pass. Vieux Berquin, a once pretty little village, +was reduced to ruins and the road we followed was pitted with shell +holes. + +It was pathetic to see an old man and his wife, bent almost double with +age and rheumatism, poking about among the ruins of their one-time home, +in the hope of finding something undestroyed. They were living +temporarily in a miserable little shanty roofed in by pieces of +corrugated iron, the remains of former Nissen huts and dug-outs. + +In Neuf Berquin several families were living in new wooden huts the size +of Armstrongs with cheerful red-tiled roofs, that seemed if possible to +intensify the utter desolation of the surroundings. + +Lusty youths, still in the _bleu horizon_ of the French Army, were busy +tilling the ground, which they had cleared of bricks and mortar, to make +vegetable gardens. + +My chief impression was that France, now that the war was over, had made +up her mind to set to and get going again just as fast as she possibly +could. There was not an idle person to be seen, even the children were +collecting bricks and slates. + +I wondered how these families got supplies and, as if in answer to my +unspoken question, a baker's cart full of fresh brown loaves came +bumping and jolting down the uneven village street. + +Silhouetted against the sky behind him was the gaunt wall of the +one-time church tower, its windows looking like the empty sockets of a +skull. + +Estaires was in no better condition, but here the inhabitants had come +back in numbers and were busy at the work of reconstruction. We passed +"Grime Farm" and "Taffy Farm" on the way to Armentieres, then through a +little place called Croix du Bac with notices printed on the walls of +the village in German. It had once been their second line. + +In the distance Armentieres gave me the impression of being almost +untouched, but on closer inspection the terrible part was that only the +mere shells of the houses were left standing. Bailleul was like a city +of the dead. I saw no returned inhabitants along its desolate streets. +The Mont des Cats was on our left with the famous monastery at its +summit where Prince Rupprecht of Bavaria had been tended by the monks +when lying wounded. In return for their kindness he gave orders that the +monastery was to be spared, and so it was for some time. But whether he +repented of his generosity or not I can't say. It must certainly have +been badly shelled since, as its walls now testify. On our right was +Kemmel with its pill-boxes making irregular bumps against the sky-line. +One place was pointed out to me as being the site of a once famous +tea-garden where a telescope had been installed, for visitors to view +the surrounding country. + +We passed through St. Jans Capelle, Berthen, Boschepe, and so to the +frontier into Belgium. The first sight that greeted our eyes was Remy +siding, a huge cemetery, one of the largest existing, where rows upon +rows of wooden crosses stretched as far as the eye could see. + +We drove to Ypres via Poperinghe and Vlamertinge and saw the famous +"Goldfish" Chateau on our left, which escaped being shelled, and was +then gutted by an accidental fire! + +I was surprised to see anything at all of the once beautiful Cloth Hall. +We took some snaps of the remains. A lot of discoloured bones were lying +about among the _debris_ disinterred from the cemetery by the +bombardments. + +Heaps of powdered bricks were all that remained of many of the houses. +The town gasometer had evidently been blown completely into the air, +what was left of it was perched on its head in a drunken fashion. + +Beyond the gate of the town on the Menin Road stood a large unpainted +wooden shanty. I wondered what it could be and thought it was possibly a +Y.M.C.A. hut. Imagine my surprise on closer inspection to see painted +over the door in large black letters "Ypriana Hotel"! It had been put up +by an enterprising _Belge_. Somehow it seemed a desecration to see this +cheap little building on that sacred spot. + +The Ypres-Menin Road stretched in front of us as far as the eye could +see, disappearing into the horizon. On either hand was No-man's-land. I +had seen wrecked villages on the Belgian front in 1915 and was more or +less accustomed to the sight, but this was different. It was more +terrible than any ruins I had ever seen. For utter desolation I never +want to behold anything worse. + +The ground was pock-marked with shell-holes and craters. Old tanks lay +embedded in the mud, their sides pierced by shot and shell, and worst of +all by far were the trees. Mere skeletons of trees standing gaunt and +jagged, stripped naked of their bark; mute testimony of the horrors they +had witnessed. Surely of all the lonely places of the earth this was by +far the worst? The ground looked lighter in some places than in others, +where the powdered bricks alone showed where a village had once stood. +There were those whose work it was to search for the scattered graves +and bring them in to one large cemetery. Just beyond "Hell-fire Corner" +a padre was conducting a burial service over some such of these where a +cemetery had been formed. We next passed Birr Cross Roads with +"Sanctuary Wood" on our left. Except that the lifeless trees seemed to +be more numerous, nothing was left to indicate a wood had ever been +there. + +The more I saw the more I marvelled to think how the men could exist in +such a place and not go mad, yet we were seeing it under the most ideal +conditions with the fresh green grass shooting up to cover the ugly +rents and scars. + +Many of the craters half-filled with water already had duckweed growing. +Words are inadequate to express the horror and loneliness of that place +which seemed peopled only by the ghosts of those "Beloved soldiers, who +love rough life and breath, not less for dying faithful to the last." + +We drove on to Hooge and turned near Geluvelt, making our way back +silently along that historic road which had been kept in repair by gangs +of workmen whose job it was to fill in the shell holes as fast as they +were made. + +As we wound our way up the steep hill to Cassel with its narrow streets +and high, Spanish-looking houses, the sun was setting and the country +lay below us in a wonderful panorama. The cherry-trees bordering the +steep hill down the other side stood out like miniature snowstorms +against the blue haze of the evening. We got back to find the Saturday +evening hop in progress (life still seemed to be formed of paradoxes). +It was held in the mess hut, where the bumpy line down the middle of the +floor was appropriately called "Vimy Ridge," and the place where the +shell hole had been further up "Kennedy Crater." The floor was +exceedingly springy just there, but it takes a good deal to "cramp the +style" of a F.A.N.Y., and details of this sort only add to the general +enjoyment. + +The next day I went down to the old convoy and saw my beloved "Susan" +again, apparently not one whit the worse for the valiant war work she +had done. Everything looked exactly the same, and to complete the +picture, as I arrived, I saw two F.A.N.Y.s quietly snaffling some horses +for a ride round the camp while their owners remained blissfully +unconscious in the mess. I felt things were indeed unchanged! + +That evening I hunted out all my French friends. The old flower lady in +the Rue uttered a shriek, dropped her flowers, and embraced me again and +again. Then there was the _Pharmacie_ to visit, the paper man, the +pretty flapper, Monsieur and Madame from the "Omelette" Shop, and a host +of others. I also saw the French general. For a moment he was +puzzled--obviously he "knew the face but couldn't put a name to it," +then his eye fell on the ribbon. "_Mon enfant_," was all he said, and +without any warning he opened his arms and I received a smacking kiss on +both cheeks! _Quel emotion!_ Everyone was so delighted, I felt the +burden of the last two years slipping off my shoulders. + +Quite by chance I was put in my old original "cue." I counted the doors +up the passage. Yes, it must be the one, there could be no doubt about +it, and on looking up at the walls I could just discern the shadowy +outlines of the panthers through a new coating of colour-wash. + +The hospital where I had been was shut up and empty, and was shortly +going to become a Casino again. How good it was to be back with the +F.A.N.Y.s! I had just caught them in time, for they were to be +demobilised on the following Sunday and I began to realise, now that I +was with them again, just how terribly I had missed their gay +companionship. + +It was a singular and happy coincidence that on the second anniversary +of the day I lost my leg, I should be cantering over the same fields at +Peuplinghe where "Flanders" had so gallantly pursued "puss" that day so +long ago, or was it really only yesterday? + + FRANCE, + _May 9th, 1919._ + + * * * * * + +_Printed by Hazell, Watson & Viney, Ld., London and Aylesbury, England._ + + +[Transcriber's Notes: +The original text had no footnotes. I put markers in where the text was +changed in any way. + +Varied hyphenation retained. Obvious spelling and punctuation errors +repaired and noted. + +[1] Space introduced in "everyone" to read "every one[1] of those men" Chapter II page 14 + +[2] Period added "one had done." Chapter III page 25 + +[3] Position of opening parenthesis on this sentence surmised. Chapter +VI page 47 "terms!)" + +[4] Period added at end of paragraph Chapter VII on page 51 "patients." + +[5] Word changed from "a" to "as" Chapter VII on page 55 "he was as[5] +black" + +[6] Typo fixed "splendily" to "splendidly" Chapter VII page 56 "behaved +splendidly" + +[7] Extraneous quotation mark removed from "_Mees anglaises_!" Chapter VII page 56 + +[8] Closing quote added Chapter IX page 78 "to vous plait_,"[8] they" + +[9] Typo fixed depot changed to depot to match remainder of text Chapter +IX page 85 "enlisting depot[9] who" + +[10] Comma changed to a period Chapter X page 90 "places.[10] Up" + +[11] F.A.N.Y.work--space introduced to F.A.N.Y. work Chapter X page 108 + +[12] Ending quotation mark added. Chapter XI page 122. "Blighter"!" + +[13] Period inserted "at all.[13] As we" Chapter XIV page 182 + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Fanny Goes to War, by Pat Beauchamp + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FANNY GOES TO WAR *** + +***** This file should be named 16521.txt or 16521.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/6/5/2/16521/ + +Produced by Internet Archive Canadian Libraries, Irma +Spehar, Emmy and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team +at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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