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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/18508-8.txt b/18508-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8936dcc --- /dev/null +++ b/18508-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,16060 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Arthur Mervyn, by Charles Brockden Brown + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Arthur Mervyn + Or, Memoirs of the Year 1793 + +Author: Charles Brockden Brown + +Release Date: June 5, 2006 [EBook #18508] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ARTHUR MERVYN *** + + + + +Produced by Graeme Mackreth and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +ARTHUR MERVYN; + +OR, + +MEMOIRS OF THE YEAR 1793. + +BY + +CHARLES BROCKDEN BROWN. + +"Fielding, Richardson, and Scott occupied pedestals. In a niche was +deposited the bust of our countryman, the author of 'Arthur Mervyn.'" + +NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE. + +PHILADELPHIA: DAVID McKAY, PUBLISHER, + +23 SOUTH NINTH STREET. 1889. + + + + +PREFACE. + + +The evils of pestilence by which this city has lately been afflicted +will probably form an era in its history. The schemes of reformation and +improvement to which they will give birth, or, if no efforts of human +wisdom can avail to avert the periodical visitations of this calamity, +the change in manners and population which they will produce, will be, +in the highest degree, memorable. They have already supplied new and +copious materials for reflection to the physician and the political +economist. They have not been less fertile of instruction to the moral +observer, to whom they have furnished new displays of the influence of +human passions and motives. + +Amidst the medical and political discussions which are now afloat in the +community relative to this topic, the author of these remarks has +ventured to methodize his own reflections, and to weave into an humble +narrative such incidents as appeared to him most instructive and +remarkable among those which came within the sphere of his own +observation. It is every one's duty to profit by all opportunities of +inculcating on mankind the lessons of justice and humanity. The +influences of hope and fear, the trials of fortitude and constancy, +which took place in this city in the autumn of 1793, have, perhaps, +never been exceeded in any age. It is but just to snatch some of these +from oblivion, and to deliver to posterity a brief but faithful sketch +of the condition of this metropolis during that calamitous period. Men +only require to be made acquainted with distress for their compassion +and their charity to be awakened. He that depicts, in lively colours, +the evils of disease and poverty, performs an eminent service to the +sufferers, by calling forth benevolence in those who are able to afford +relief; and he who portrays examples of disinterestedness and +intrepidity confers on virtue the notoriety and homage that are due to +it, and rouses in the spectators the spirit of salutary emulation. + +In the following tale a particular series of adventures is brought to a +close; but these are necessarily connected with the events which +happened subsequent to the period here described. These events are not +less memorable than those which form the subject of the present volume, +and may hereafter be published, either separately or in addition to +this. + +C.B.B. + + + + +ARTHUR MERVYN. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + + +I was resident in this city during the year 1793. Many motives +contributed to detain me, though departure was easy and commodious, and +my friends were generally solicitous for me to go. It is not my purpose +to enumerate these motives, or to dwell on my present concerns and +transactions, but merely to compose a narrative of some incidents with +which my situation made me acquainted. + +Returning one evening, somewhat later than usual, to my own house, my +attention was attracted, just as I entered the porch, by the figure of a +man reclining against the wall at a few paces distant. My sight was +imperfectly assisted by a far-off lamp; but the posture in which he sat, +the hour, and the place, immediately suggested the idea of one disabled +by sickness. It was obvious to conclude that his disease was +pestilential. This did not deter me from approaching and examining him +more closely. + +He leaned his head against the wall; his eyes were shut, his hands +clasped in each other, and his body seemed to be sustained in an upright +position merely by the cellar-door against which he rested his left +shoulder. The lethargy into which he was sunk seemed scarcely +interrupted by my feeling his hand and his forehead. His throbbing +temples and burning skin indicated a fever, and his form, already +emaciated, seemed to prove that it had not been of short duration. + +There was only one circumstance that hindered me from forming an +immediate determination in what manner this person should be treated. +My family consisted of my wife and a young child. Our servant-maid had +been seized, three days before, by the reigning malady, and, at her own +request, had been conveyed to the hospital. We ourselves enjoyed good +health, and were hopeful of escaping with our lives. Our measures for +this end had been cautiously taken and carefully adhered to. They did +not consist in avoiding the receptacles of infection, for my office +required me to go daily into the midst of them; nor in filling the house +with the exhalations of gunpowder, vinegar, or tar. They consisted in +cleanliness, reasonable exercise, and wholesome diet. Custom had +likewise blunted the edge of our apprehensions. To take this person into +my house, and bestow upon him the requisite attendance, was the scheme +that first occurred to me. In this, however, the advice of my wife was +to govern me. + +I mentioned the incident to her. I pointed out the danger which was to +be dreaded from such an inmate. I desired her to decide with caution, +and mentioned my resolution to conform myself implicitly to her +decision. Should we refuse to harbour him, we must not forget that there +was a hospital to which he would, perhaps, consent to be carried, and +where he would be accommodated in the best manner the times would admit. + +"Nay," said she, "talk not of hospitals. At least, let him have his +choice. I have no fear about me, for my part, in a case where the +injunctions of duty are so obvious. Let us take the poor, unfortunate +wretch into our protection and care, and leave the consequences to +Heaven." + +I expected and was pleased with this proposal. I returned to the sick +man, and, on rousing him from his stupor, found him still in possession +of his reason. With a candle near, I had an opportunity of viewing him +more accurately. + +His garb was plain, careless, and denoted rusticity. His aspect was +simple and ingenuous, and his decayed visage still retained traces of +uncommon but manlike beauty. He had all the appearances of mere youth, +unspoiled by luxury and uninured to misfortune. I scarcely ever beheld +an object which laid so powerful and sudden a claim to my affection and +succour. + +"You are sick," said I, in as cheerful a tone as I could assume. "Cold +bricks and night-airs are comfortless attendants for one in your +condition. Rise, I pray you, and come into the house. We will try to +supply you with accommodations a little more suitable." + +At this address he fixed his languid eyes upon me. "What would you +have?" said he. "I am very well as I am. While I breathe, which will not +be long, I shall breathe with more freedom here than elsewhere. Let me +alone--I am very well as I am." + +"Nay," said I, "this situation is unsuitable to a sick man. I only ask +you to come into my house, and receive all the kindness that it is in +our power to bestow. Pluck up courage, and I will answer for your +recovery, provided you submit to directions, and do as we would have +you. Rise, and come along with me. We will find you a physician and a +nurse, and all we ask in return is good spirits and compliance." + +"Do you not know," he replied, "what my disease is? Why should you risk +your safety for the sake of one whom your kindness cannot benefit, and +who has nothing to give in return?" + +There was something in the style of this remark, that heightened my +prepossession in his favour, and made me pursue my purpose with more +zeal. "Let us try what we can do for you," I answered. "If we save your +life, we shall have done you some service, and, as for recompense, we +will look to that." + +It was with considerable difficulty that he was persuaded to accept our +invitation. He was conducted to a chamber, and, the criticalness of his +case requiring unusual attention, I spent the night at his bedside. + +My wife was encumbered with the care both of her infant and her family. +The charming babe was in perfect health, but her mother's constitution +was frail and delicate. We simplified the household duties as much as +possible, but still these duties were considerably burdensome to one not +used to the performance, and luxuriously educated. The addition of a +sick man was likely to be productive of much fatigue. My engagements +would not allow me to be always at home, and the state of my patient, +and the remedies necessary to be prescribed, were attended with many +noxious and disgustful circumstances. My fortune would not allow me to +hire assistance. My wife, with a feeble frame and a mind shrinking, on +ordinary occasions, from such offices, with fastidious scrupulousness, +was to be his only or principal nurse. + +My neighbours were fervent in their well-meant zeal, and loud in their +remonstrances on the imprudence and rashness of my conduct. They called +me presumptuous and cruel in exposing my wife and child, as well as +myself, to such imminent hazard, for the sake of one, too, who most +probably was worthless, and whose disease had doubtless been, by +negligence or mistreatment, rendered incurable. + +I did not turn a deaf ear to these censurers. I was aware of all the +inconveniences and perils to which I thus spontaneously exposed myself. +No one knew better the value of that woman whom I called mine, or set a +higher price upon her life, her health, and her ease. The virulence and +activity of this contagion, the dangerous condition of my patient, and +the dubiousness of his character, were not forgotten by me; but still my +conduct in this affair received my own entire approbation. All +objections on the score of my friends were removed by her own +willingness and even solicitude to undertake the province. I had more +confidence than others in the vincibility of this disease, and in the +success of those measures which we had used for our defence against it. +But, whatever were the evils to accrue to us, we were sure of one thing: +namely, that the consciousness of having neglected this unfortunate +person would be a source of more unhappiness than could possibly redound +from the attendance and care that he would claim. + +The more we saw of him, indeed, the more did we congratulate ourselves +on our proceeding. His torments were acute and tedious; but, in the +midst even of delirium, his heart seemed to overflow with gratitude, and +to be actuated by no wish but to alleviate our toil and our danger. He +made prodigious exertions to perform necessary offices for himself. He +suppressed his feelings and struggled to maintain a cheerful tone and +countenance, that he might prevent that anxiety which the sight of his +sufferings produced in us. He was perpetually furnishing reasons why his +nurse should leave him alone, and betrayed dissatisfaction whenever she +entered his apartment. + +In a few days, there were reasons to conclude him out of danger; and, in +a fortnight, nothing but exercise and nourishment were wanting to +complete his restoration. Meanwhile nothing was obtained from him but +general information, that his place of abode was Chester county, and +that some momentous engagement induced him to hazard his safety by +coming to the city in the height of the epidemic. + +He was far from being talkative. His silence seemed to be the joint +result of modesty and unpleasing remembrances. His features were +characterized by pathetic seriousness, and his deportment by a gravity +very unusual at his age. According to his own representation, he was no +more than eighteen years old, but the depth of his remarks indicated a +much greater advance. His name was Arthur Mervyn. He described himself +as having passed his life at the plough-tail and the threshing-floor; as +being destitute of all scholastic instruction; and as being long since +bereft of the affectionate regards of parents and kinsmen. + +When questioned as to the course of life which he meant to pursue upon +his recovery, he professed himself without any precise object. He was +willing to be guided by the advice of others, and by the lights which +experience should furnish. The country was open to him, and he supposed +that there was no part of it in which food could not be purchased by his +labour. He was unqualified, by his education, for any liberal +profession. His poverty was likewise an insuperable impediment. He could +afford to spend no time in the acquisition of a trade. He must labour, +not for future emolument, but for immediate subsistence. The only +pursuit which his present circumstances would allow him to adopt was +that which, he was inclined to believe, was likewise the most eligible. +Without doubt his experience was slender, and it seemed absurd to +pronounce concerning that of which he had no direct knowledge; but so it +was, he could not outroot from his mind the persuasion that to plough, +to sow, and to reap, were employments most befitting a reasonable +creature, and from which the truest pleasure and the least pollution +would flow. He contemplated no other scheme than to return, as soon as +his health should permit, into the country, seek employment where it was +to be had, and acquit himself in his engagements with fidelity and +diligence. + +I pointed out to him various ways in which the city might furnish +employment to one with his qualifications. He had said that he was +somewhat accustomed to the pen. There were stations in which the +possession of a legible hand was all that was requisite. He might add to +this a knowledge of accounts, and thereby procure himself a post in some +mercantile or public office. + +To this he objected, that experience had shown him unfit for the life of +a penman. This had been his chief occupation for a little while, and he +found it wholly incompatible with his health. He must not sacrifice the +end for the means. Starving was a disease preferable to consumption. +Besides, he laboured merely for the sake of living, and he lived merely +for the sake of pleasure. If his tasks should enable him to live, but, +at the same time, bereave him of all satisfaction, they inflicted +injury, and were to be shunned as worse evils than death. + +I asked to what species of pleasure he alluded, with which the business +of a clerk was inconsistent. + +He answered that he scarcely knew how to describe it. He read books when +they came in his way. He had lighted upon few, and, perhaps, the +pleasure they afforded him was owing to their fewness; yet he confessed +that a mode of life which entirely forbade him to read was by no means +to his taste. But this was trivial. He knew how to value the thoughts of +other people, but he could not part with the privilege of observing and +thinking for himself. He wanted business which would suffer at least +nine-tenths of his attention to go free. If it afforded agreeable +employment to that part of his attention which it applied to its own +use, so much the better; but, if it did not, he should not repine. He +should be content with a life whose pleasures were to its pains as nine +are to one. He had tried the trade of a copyist, and in circumstances +more favourable than it was likely he should ever again have an +opportunity of trying it, and he had found that it did not fulfil the +requisite conditions. Whereas the trade of ploughman was friendly to +health, liberty, and pleasure. + +The pestilence, if it may so be called, was now declining. The health of +my young friend allowed him to breathe the fresh air and to walk. A +friend of mine, by name Wortley, who had spent two months from the city, +and to whom, in the course of a familiar correspondence, I had mentioned +the foregoing particulars, returned from his rural excursion. He was +posting, on the evening of the day of his arrival, with a friendly +expedition, to my house, when he overtook Mervyn going in the same +direction. He was surprised to find him go before him into my dwelling, +and to discover, which he speedily did, that this was the youth whom I +had so frequently mentioned to him. I was present at their meeting. + +There was a strange mixture in the countenance of Wortley when they were +presented to each other. His satisfaction was mingled with surprise, and +his surprise with anger. Mervyn, in his turn, betrayed considerable +embarrassment. Wortley's thoughts were too earnest on some topic to +allow him to converse. He shortly made some excuse for taking leave, +and, rising, addressed himself to the youth with a request that he would +walk home with him. This invitation, delivered in a tone which left it +doubtful whether a compliment or menace were meant, augmented Mervyn's +confusion. He complied without speaking, and they went out together;--my +wife and I were left to comment upon the scene. + +It could not fail to excite uneasiness. They were evidently no strangers +to each other. The indignation that flashed from the eyes of Wortley, +and the trembling consciousness of Mervyn, were unwelcome tokens. The +former was my dearest friend, and venerable for his discernment and +integrity. The latter appeared to have drawn upon himself the anger and +disdain of this man. We already anticipated the shock which the +discovery of his unworthiness would produce. + +In a half-hour Mervyn returned. His embarrassment had given place to +dejection. He was always serious, but his features were now overcast by +the deepest gloom. The anxiety which I felt would not allow me to +hesitate long. + +"Arthur," said I, "something is the matter with you. Will you not +disclose it to us? Perhaps you have brought yourself into some dilemma +out of which we may help you to escape. Has any thing of an unpleasant +nature passed between you and Wortley?" + +The youth did not readily answer. He seemed at a loss for a suitable +reply. At length he said that something disagreeable had indeed passed +between him and Wortley. He had had the misfortune to be connected with +a man by whom Wortley conceived himself to be injured. He had borne no +part in inflicting this injury, but had nevertheless been threatened +with ill treatment if he did not make disclosures which, indeed, it was +in his power to make, but which he was bound, by every sanction, to +withhold. This disclosure would be of no benefit to Wortley. It would +rather operate injuriously than otherwise; yet it was endeavoured to be +wrested from him by the heaviest menaces. There he paused. + +We were naturally inquisitive as to the scope of these menaces; but +Mervyn entreated us to forbear any further discussion of this topic. He +foresaw the difficulties to which his silence would subject him. One of +its most fearful consequences would be the loss of our good opinion. He +knew not what he had to dread from the enmity of Wortley. Mr. Wortley's +violence was not without excuse. It was his mishap to be exposed to +suspicions which could only be obviated by breaking his faith. But, +indeed, he knew not whether any degree of explicitness would confute the +charges that were made against him; whether, by trampling on his sacred +promise, he should not multiply his perils instead of lessening their +number. A difficult part had been assigned to him; by much too +difficult for one young, improvident, and inexperienced as he was. + +Sincerity, perhaps, was the best course. Perhaps, after having had an +opportunity for deliberation, he should conclude to adopt it; meanwhile +he entreated permission to retire to his chamber. He was unable to +exclude from his mind ideas which yet could, with no propriety, at least +at present, be made the theme of conversation. + +These words were accompanied with simplicity and pathos, and with tokens +of unaffected distress. + +"Arthur," said I, "you are master of your actions and time in this +house. Retire when you please; but you will naturally suppose us anxious +to dispel this mystery. Whatever shall tend to obscure or malign your +character will of course excite our solicitude. Wortley is not +short-sighted or hasty to condemn. So great is my confidence in his +integrity that I will not promise my esteem to one who has irrecoverably +lost that of Wortley. I am not acquainted with your motives to +concealment, or what it is you conceal; but take the word of one who +possesses that experience which you complain of wanting, that sincerity +is always safest." + +As soon as he had retired, my curiosity prompted me to pay an immediate +visit to Wortley. I found him at home. He was no less desirous of an +interview, and answered my inquiries with as much eagerness as they were +made. + +"You know," said he, "my disastrous connection with Thomas Welbeck. You +recollect his sudden disappearance last July, by which I was reduced to +the brink of ruin. Nay, I am, even now, far from certain that I shall +survive that event. I spoke to you about the youth who lived with him, +and by what means that youth was discovered to have crossed the river in +his company on the night of his departure. This is that very youth. + +"This will account for my emotion at meeting him at your house; I +brought him out with me. His confusion sufficiently indicated his +knowledge of transactions between Welbeck and me. I questioned him as to +the fate of that man. To own the truth, I expected some well-digested +lie; but he merely said that he had promised secrecy on that subject, +and must therefore be excused from giving me any information. I asked +him if he knew that his master, or accomplice, or whatever was his +relation to him, absconded in my debt? He answered that he knew it well; +but still pleaded a promise of inviolable secrecy as to his +hiding-place. This conduct justly exasperated me, and I treated him with +the severity which he deserved. I am half ashamed to confess the +excesses of my passion; I even went so far as to strike him. He bore my +insults with the utmost patience. No doubt the young villain is well +instructed in his lesson. He knows that he may safely defy my power. +From threats I descended to entreaties. I even endeavoured to wind the +truth from him by artifice. I promised him a part of the debt if he +would enable me to recover the whole. I offered him a considerable +reward if he would merely afford me a clue by which I might trace him to +his retreat; but all was insufficient. He merely put on an air of +perplexity and shook his head in token of non-compliance." + +Such was my friend's account of this interview. His suspicions were +unquestionably plausible; but I was disposed to put a more favourable +construction on Mervyn's behaviour. I recollected the desolate and +penniless condition in which I found him, and the uniform complacency +and rectitude of his deportment for the period during which we had +witnessed it. These ideas had considerable influence on my judgment, and +indisposed me to follow the advice of my friend, which was to turn him +forth from my doors that very night. + +My wife's prepossessions were still more powerful advocates of this +youth. She would vouch, she said, before any tribunal, for his +innocence; but she willingly concurred with me in allowing him the +continuance of our friendship on no other condition than that of a +disclosure of the truth. To entitle ourselves to this confidence we were +willing to engage, in our turn, for the observance of secrecy, so far +that no detriment should accrue from this disclosure to himself or his +friend. + +Next morning, at breakfast, our guest appeared with a countenance less +expressive of embarrassment than on the last evening. His attention was +chiefly engaged by his own thoughts, and little was said till the +breakfast was removed. I then reminded him of the incidents of the +former day, and mentioned that the uneasiness which thence arose to us +had rather been increased than diminished by time. + +"It is in your power, my young friend," continued I, "to add still more +to this uneasiness, or to take it entirely away. I had no personal +acquaintance with Thomas Welbeck. I have been informed by others that +his character, for a certain period, was respectable, but that, at +length, he contracted large debts, and, instead of paying them, +absconded. You, it seems, lived with him. On the night of his departure +you are known to have accompanied him across the river, and this, it +seems, is the first of your reappearance on the stage. Welbeck's conduct +was dishonest. He ought doubtless to be pursued to his asylum and be +compelled to refund his winnings. You confess yourself to know his place +of refuge, but urge a promise of secrecy. Know you not that to assist or +connive at the escape of this man was wrong? To have promised to favour +his concealment and impunity by silence was only an aggravation of this +wrong. That, however, is past. Your youth, and circumstances, hitherto +unexplained, may apologize for that misconduct; but it is certainly your +duty to repair it to the utmost of your power. Think whether, by +disclosing what you know, you will not repair it." + +"I have spent most of last night," said the youth, "in reflecting on +this subject. I had come to a resolution, before you spoke, of confiding +to you my simple tale. I perceive in what circumstances I am placed, and +that I can keep my hold of your good opinion only by a candid +deportment. I have indeed given a promise which it was wrong, or rather +absurd, in another to exact, and in me to give; yet none but +considerations of the highest importance would persuade me to break my +promise. No injury will accrue from my disclosure to Welbeck. If there +should, dishonest as he was, that would be a sufficient reason for my +silence. Wortley will not, in any degree, be benefited by any +communication that I can make. Whether I grant or withhold information, +my conduct will have influence only on my own happiness, and that +influence will justify me in granting it. + +"I received your protection when I was friendless and forlorn. You have +a right to know whom it is that you protected. My own fate is connected +with the fate of Welbeck, and that connection, together with the +interest you are pleased to take in my concerns, because they are mine, +will render a tale worthy of attention which will not be recommended by +variety of facts or skill in the display of them. + +"Wortley, though passionate, and, with regard to me, unjust, may yet be +a good man; but I have no desire to make him one of my auditors. You, +sir, may, if you think proper, relate to him afterwards what particulars +concerning Welbeck it may be of importance for him to know; but at +present it will be well if your indulgence shall support me to the end +of a tedious but humble tale." + +The eyes of my Eliza sparkled with delight at this proposal. She +regarded this youth with a sisterly affection, and considered his +candour, in this respect, as an unerring test of his rectitude. She was +prepared to hear and to forgive the errors of inexperience and +precipitation. I did not fully participate in her satisfaction, but was +nevertheless most zealously disposed to listen to his narrative. + +My engagements obliged me to postpone this rehearsal till late in the +evening. Collected then round a cheerful hearth, exempt from all +likelihood of interruption from without, and our babe's unpractised +senses shut up in the sweetest and profoundest sleep, Mervyn, after a +pause of recollection, began. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +My natal soil is Chester county. My father had a small farm, on which he +has been able, by industry, to maintain himself and a numerous family. +He has had many children, but some defect in the constitution of our +mother has been fatal to all of them but me. They died successively as +they attained the age of nineteen or twenty, and, since I have not yet +reached that age, I may reasonably look for the same premature fate. In +the spring of last year my mother followed her fifth child to the grave, +and three months afterwards died herself. + +My constitution has always been frail, and, till the death of my mother, +I enjoyed unlimited indulgence. I cheerfully sustained my portion of +labour, for that necessity prescribed; but the intervals were always at +my own disposal, and, in whatever manner I thought proper to employ +them, my plans were encouraged and assisted. Fond appellations, tones of +mildness, solicitous attendance when I was sick, deference to my +opinions, and veneration for my talents, compose the image which I still +retain of my mother. I had the thoughtlessness and presumption of youth, +and, now that she is gone, my compunction is awakened by a thousand +recollections of my treatment of her. I was indeed guilty of no flagrant +acts of contempt or rebellion. Perhaps her deportment was inevitably +calculated to instil into me a froward and refractory spirit. My faults, +however, were speedily followed by repentance, and, in the midst of +impatience and passion, a look of tender upbraiding from her was always +sufficient to melt me into tears and make me ductile to her will. If +sorrow for her loss be an atonement for the offences which I committed +during her life, ample atonement has been made. + +My father is a man of slender capacity, but of a temper easy and +flexible. He was sober and industrious by habit. He was content to be +guided by the superior intelligence of his wife. Under this guidance he +prospered; but, when that was withdrawn, his affairs soon began to +betray marks of unskilfulness and negligence. My understanding, perhaps, +qualified me to counsel and assist my father, but I was wholly +unaccustomed to the task of superintendence. Besides, gentleness and +fortitude did not descend to me from my mother, and these were +indispensable attributes in a boy who desires to dictate to his +gray-headed parent. Time, perhaps, might have conferred dexterity on me, +or prudence on him, had not a most unexpected event given a different +direction to my views. + +Betty Lawrence was a wild girl from the pine-forests of New Jersey. At +the age of ten years she became a bound servant in this city, and, after +the expiration of her time, came into my father's neighbourhood in +search of employment. She was hired in our family as milkmaid and +market-woman. Her features were coarse, her frame robust, her mind +totally unlettered, and her morals defective in that point in which +female excellence is supposed chiefly to consist. She possessed +super-abundant health and good-humour, and was quite a supportable +companion in the hay-field or the barnyard. + +On the death of my mother, she was exalted to a somewhat higher station. +The same tasks fell to her lot; but the time and manner of performing +them were, in some degree, submitted to her own choice. The cows and the +dairy were still her province; but in this no one interfered with her or +pretended to prescribe her measures. For this province she seemed not +unqualified, and, as long as my father was pleased with her management, +I had nothing to object. + +This state of things continued, without material variation, for several +months. There were appearances in my father's deportment to Betty, which +excited my reflections, but not my fears. The deference which was +occasionally paid to the advice or the claims of this girl was accounted +for by that feebleness of mind which degraded my father, in whatever +scene he should be placed, to be the tool of others. I had no conception +that her claims extended beyond a temporary or superficial +gratification. + +At length, however, a visible change took place in her manners. A +scornful affectation and awkward dignity began to be assumed. A greater +attention was paid to dress, which was of gayer hues and more +fashionable texture. I rallied her on these tokens of a sweetheart, and +amused myself with expatiating to her on the qualifications of her +lover. A clownish fellow was frequently her visitant. His attentions did +not appear to be discouraged. He therefore was readily supposed to be +the man. When pointed out as the favourite, great resentment was +expressed, and obscure insinuations were made that her aim was not quite +so low as that. These denials I supposed to be customary on such +occasions, and considered the continuance of his visits as a sufficient +confutation of them. + +I frequently spoke of Betty, her newly-acquired dignity, and of the +probable cause of her change of manners, to my father. When this theme +was started, a certain coldness and reserve overspread his features. He +dealt in monosyllables, and either laboured to change the subject or +made some excuse for leaving me. This behaviour, though it occasioned +surprise, was never very deeply reflected on. My father was old, and the +mournful impressions which were made upon him by the death of his wife, +the lapse of almost half a year seemed scarcely to have weakened. Betty +had chosen her partner, and I was in daily expectation of receiving a +summons to the wedding. + +One afternoon this girl dressed herself in the gayest manner and seemed +making preparations for some momentous ceremony. My father had directed +me to put the horse to the chaise. On my inquiring whither he was going, +he answered me, in general terms, that he had some business at a few +miles' distance. I offered to go in his stead, but he said that was +impossible. I was proceeding to ascertain the possibility of this when +he left me to go to a field where his workmen were busy, directing me to +inform him when the chaise was ready, to supply his place, while +absent, in overlooking the workmen. + +This office was performed; but before I called him from the field I +exchanged a few words with the milkmaid, who sat on a bench, in all the +primness of expectation, and decked with the most gaudy plumage. I rated +her imaginary lover for his tardiness, and vowed eternal hatred to them +both for not making me a bride's attendant. She listened to me with an +air in which embarrassment was mingled sometimes with exultation and +sometimes with malice. I left her at length, and returned to the house +not till a late hour. As soon as I entered, my father presented Betty to +me as his wife, and desired she might receive that treatment from me +which was due to a mother. + +It was not till after repeated and solemn declarations from both of them +that I was prevailed upon to credit this event. Its effect upon my +feelings may be easily conceived. I knew the woman to be rude, ignorant, +and licentious. Had I suspected this event, I might have fortified my +father's weakness and enabled him to shun the gulf to which he was +tending; but my presumption had been careless of the danger. To think +that such a one should take the place of my revered mother was +intolerable. + +To treat her in any way not squaring with her real merits; to hinder +anger and scorn from rising at the sight of her in her new condition, +was not in my power. To be degraded to the rank of her servant, to +become the sport of her malice and her artifices, was not to be endured. +I had no independent provision; but I was the only child of my father, +and had reasonably hoped to succeed to his patrimony. On this hope I had +built a thousand agreeable visions. I had meditated innumerable projects +which the possession of this estate would enable me to execute. I had no +wish beyond the trade of agriculture, and beyond the opulence which a +hundred acres would give. + +These visions were now at an end. No doubt her own interest would be, to +this woman, the supreme law, and this would be considered as +irreconcilably hostile to mine. My father would easily be moulded to +her purpose, and that act easily extorted from him which should reduce +me to beggary. She had a gross and perverse taste. She had a numerous +kindred, indigent and hungry. On these his substance would speedily be +lavished. Me she hated, because she was conscious of having injured me, +because she knew that I held her in contempt, and because I had detected +her in an illicit intercourse with the son of a neighbour. + +The house in which I lived was no longer my own, nor even my father's. +Hitherto I had thought and acted in it with the freedom of a master; but +now I was become, in my own conceptions, an alien and an enemy to the +roof under which I was born. Every tie which had bound me to it was +dissolved or converted into something which repelled me to a distance +from it. I was a guest whose presence was borne with anger and +impatience. + +I was fully impressed with the necessity of removal, but I knew not +whither to go, or what kind of subsistence to seek. My father had been a +Scottish emigrant, and had no kindred on this side of the ocean. My +mother's family lived in New Hampshire, and long separation had +extinguished all the rights of relationship in her offspring. Tilling +the earth was my only profession, and, to profit by my skill in it, it +would be necessary to become a day-labourer in the service of strangers; +but this was a destiny to which I, who had so long enjoyed the pleasures +of independence and command, could not suddenly reconcile myself. It +occurred to me that the city might afford me an asylum. A short day's +journey would transport me into it. I had been there twice or thrice in +my life, but only for a few hours each time. I knew not a human face, +and was a stranger to its modes and dangers. I was qualified for no +employment, compatible with a town life, but that of the pen. This, +indeed, had ever been a favourite tool with me; and, though it may +appear somewhat strange, it is no less true that I had had nearly as +much practice at the quill as at the mattock. But the sum of my skill +lay in tracing distinct characters. I had used it merely to transcribe +what others had written, or to give form to my own conceptions. Whether +the city would afford me employment, as a mere copyist, sufficiently +lucrative, was a point on which I possessed no means of information. + +My determination was hastened by the conduct of my new mother. My +conjectures as to the course she would pursue with regard to me had not +been erroneous. My father's deportment, in a short time, grew sullen and +austere. Directions were given in a magisterial tone, and any remissness +in the execution of his orders was rebuked with an air of authority. At +length these rebukes were followed by certain intimations that I was now +old enough to provide for myself; that it was time to think of some +employment by which I might secure a livelihood; that it was a shame for +me to spend my youth in idleness; that what he had gained was by his own +labour; and I must be indebted for my living to the same source. + +These hints were easily understood. At first, they excited indignation +and grief. I knew the source whence they sprung, and was merely able to +suppress the utterance of my feelings in her presence. My looks, +however, were abundantly significant, and my company became hourly more +insupportable. Abstracted from these considerations, my father's +remonstrances were not destitute of weight. He gave me being, but +sustenance ought surely to be my own gift. In the use of that for which +he had been indebted to his own exertions, he might reasonably consult +his own choice. He assumed no control over me; he merely did what he +would with his own, and, so far from fettering my liberty, he exhorted +me to use it for my own benefit, and to make provision for myself. + +I now reflected that there were other manual occupations besides that of +the plough. Among these none had fewer disadvantages than that of +carpenter or cabinet-maker. I had no knowledge of this art; but neither +custom, nor law, nor the impenetrableness of the mystery, required me to +serve a seven years' apprenticeship to it. A master in this trade might +possibly be persuaded to take me under his tuition; two or three years +would suffice to give me the requisite skill. Meanwhile my father would, +perhaps, consent to bear the cost of my maintenance. Nobody could live +upon less than I was willing to do. + +I mentioned these ideas to my father; but he merely commended my +intentions without offering to assist me in the execution of them. He +had full employment, he said, for all the profits of his ground. No +doubt, if I would bind myself to serve four or five years, my master +would be at the expense of my subsistence. Be that as it would, I must +look for nothing from him. I had shown very little regard for his +happiness; I had refused all marks of respect to a woman who was +entitled to it from her relation to him. He did not see why he should +treat as a son one who refused what was due to him as a father. He +thought it right that I should henceforth maintain myself. He did not +want my services on the farm, and the sooner I quitted his house the +better. + +I retired from this conference with a resolution to follow the advice +that was given. I saw that henceforth I must be my own protector, and +wondered at the folly that detained me so long under his roof. To leave +it was now become indispensable, and there could be no reason for +delaying my departure for a single hour. I determined to bend my course +to the city. The scheme foremost in my mind was to apprentice myself to +some mechanical trade. I did not overlook the evils of constraint and +the dubiousness as to the character of the master I should choose. I was +not without hopes that accident would suggest a different expedient, and +enable me to procure an immediate subsistence without forfeiting my +liberty. + +I determined to commence my journey the next morning. No wonder the +prospect of so considerable a change in my condition should deprive me +of sleep. I spent the night ruminating on the future, and in painting to +my fancy the adventures which I should be likely to meet. The foresight +of man is in proportion to his knowledge. No wonder that, in my state of +profound ignorance, not the faintest preconception should be formed of +the events that really befell me. My temper was inquisitive, but there +was nothing in the scene to which I was going from which my curiosity +expected to derive gratification. Discords and evil smells, unsavoury +food, unwholesome labour, and irksome companions, were, in my opinion, +the unavoidable attendants of a city. + +My best clothes were of the homeliest texture and shape. My whole stock +of linen consisted of three check shirts. Part of my winter evenings' +employment, since the death of my mother, consisted in knitting my own +stockings. Of these I had three pair, one of which I put on, and the +rest I formed, together with two shirts, into a bundle. Three +quarter-dollar pieces composed my whole fortune in money. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + +I rose at the dawn, and, without asking or bestowing a blessing, sallied +forth into the highroad to the city, which passed near the house. I left +nothing behind, the loss of which I regretted. I had purchased most of +my own books with the product of my own separate industry, and, their +number being, of course, small, I had, by incessant application, gotten +the whole of them by rote. They had ceased, therefore, to be of any +further use. I left them, without reluctance, to the fate for which I +knew them to be reserved, that of affording food and habitation to mice. + +I trod this unwonted path with all the fearlessness of youth. In spite +of the motives to despondency and apprehension incident to my state, my +heels were light and my heart joyous. "Now," said I, "I am mounted into +man. I must build a name and a fortune for myself. Strange if this +intellect and these hands will not supply me with an honest livelihood. +I will try the city in the first place; but, if that should fail, +resources are still left to me. I will resume my post in the cornfield +and threshing-floor, to which I shall always have access, and where I +shall always be happy." + +I had proceeded some miles on my journey, when I began to feel the +inroads of hunger. I might have stopped at any farm-house, and have +breakfasted for nothing. It was prudent to husband, with the utmost +care, my slender stock; but I felt reluctance to beg as long as I had +the means of buying, and I imagined that coarse bread and a little milk +would cost little even at a tavern, when any farmer was willing to +bestow them for nothing. My resolution was further influenced by the +appearance of a signpost. What excuse could I make for begging a +breakfast with an inn at hand and silver in my pocket? + +I stopped, accordingly, and breakfasted. The landlord was remarkably +attentive and obliging, but his bread was stale, his milk sour, and his +cheese the greenest imaginable. I disdained to animadvert on these +defects, naturally supposing that his house could furnish no better. + +Having finished my meal, I put, without speaking, one of my pieces into +his hand. This deportment I conceived to be highly becoming, and to +indicate a liberal and manly spirit. I always regarded with contempt a +scrupulous maker of bargains. He received the money with a complaisant +obeisance. "Right," said he. "_Just_ the money, sir. You are on foot, +sir. A pleasant way of travelling, sir. I wish you a good day, sir." So +saying, he walked away. + +This proceeding was wholly unexpected. I conceived myself entitled to at +least three-fourths of it in change. The first impulse was to call him +back, and contest the equity of his demand; but a moment's reflection +showed me the absurdity of such conduct. I resumed my journey with +spirits somewhat depressed. I have heard of voyagers and wanderers in +deserts, who were willing to give a casket of gems for a cup of cold +water. I had not supposed my own condition to be, in any respect, +similar; yet I had just given one-third of my estate for a breakfast. + +I stopped at noon at another inn. I counted on purchasing a dinner for +the same price, since I meant to content myself with the same fare. A +large company was just sitting down to a smoking banquet. The landlord +invited me to join them. I took my place at the table, but was furnished +with bread and milk. Being prepared to depart, I took him aside. "What +is to pay?" said I.--"Did you drink any thing, sir?"--"Certainly. I +drank the milk which was furnished."--"But any liquors, sir?"---"No." + +He deliberated a moment, and then, assuming an air of disinterestedness, +"'Tis our custom to charge dinner and club; but, as you drank nothing, +we'll let the club go. A mere dinner is half a dollar, sir." + +He had no leisure to attend to my fluctuations. After debating with +myself on what was to be done, I concluded that compliance was best, +and, leaving the money at the bar, resumed my way. + +I had not performed more than half my journey, yet my purse was entirely +exhausted. This was a specimen of the cost incurred by living at an inn. +If I entered the city, a tavern must, at least for some time, be my +abode; but I had not a farthing remaining to defray my charges. My +father had formerly entertained a boarder for a dollar per week, and, in +case of need, I was willing to subsist upon coarser fare and lie on a +harder bed than those with which our guest had been supplied. These +facts had been the foundation of my negligence on this occasion. + +What was now to be done? To return to my paternal mansion was +impossible. To relinquish my design of entering the city and to seek a +temporary asylum, if not permanent employment, at some one of the +plantations within view, was the most obvious expedient. These +deliberations did not slacken my pace. I was almost unmindful of my way, +when I found I had passed Schuylkill at the upper bridge. I was now +within the precincts of the city, and night was hastening. It behooved +me to come to a speedy decision. + +Suddenly I recollected that I had not paid the customary toll at the +bridge; neither had I money wherewith to pay it. A demand of payment +would have suddenly arrested my progress; and so slight an incident +would have precluded that wonderful destiny to which I was reserved. The +obstacle that would have hindered my advance now prevented my return. +Scrupulous honesty did not require me to turn back and awaken the +vigilance of the toll-gatherer. I had nothing to pay, and by returning I +should only double my debt. "Let it stand," said I, "where it does. All +that honour enjoins is to pay when I am able." + +I adhered to the crossways, till I reached Market Street. Night had +fallen, and a triple row of lamps presented a spectacle enchanting and +new. My personal cares were, for a time, lost in the tumultuous +sensations with which I was now engrossed. I had never visited the city +at this hour. When my last visit was paid, I was a mere child. The +novelty which environed every object was, therefore, nearly absolute. I +proceeded with more cautious steps, but was still absorbed in attention +to passing objects. I reached the market-house, and, entering it, +indulged myself in new delight and new wonder. + +I need not remark that our ideas of magnificence and splendour are +merely comparative; yet you may be prompted to smile when I tell you +that, in walking through this avenue, I, for a moment, conceived myself +transported to the hall "pendent with many a row of starry lamps and +blazing crescents fed by naphtha and asphaltos." That this transition +from my homely and quiet retreat had been effected in so few hours wore +the aspect of miracle or magic. + +I proceeded from one of these buildings to another, till I reached their +termination in Front Street. Here my progress was checked, and I sought +repose to my weary limbs by seating myself on a stall. No wonder some +fatigue was felt by me, accustomed as I was to strenuous exertions, +since, exclusive of the minutes spent at breakfast and dinner, I had +travelled fifteen hours and forty-five miles. + +I began now to reflect, with some earnestness, on my condition. I was a +stranger, friendless and moneyless. I was unable to purchase food and +shelter, and was wholly unused to the business of begging. Hunger was +the only serious inconvenience to which I was immediately exposed. I had +no objection to spend the night in the spot where I then sat. I had no +fear that my visions would be troubled by the officers of police. It was +no crime to be without a home; but how should I supply my present +cravings and the cravings of to-morrow? + +At length it occurred to me that one of our country neighbours was +probably at this time in the city. He kept a store as well as cultivated +a farm. He was a plain and well-meaning man, and, should I be so +fortunate as to meet him, his superior knowledge of the city might be of +essential benefit to me in my present forlorn circumstances. His +generosity might likewise induce him to lend me so much as would +purchase one meal. I had formed the resolution to leave the city next +day, and was astonished at the folly that had led me into it; but, +meanwhile, my physical wants must be supplied. + +Where should I look for this man? In the course of conversation I +recollected him to have referred to the place of his temporary abode. It +was an inn; but the sign or the name of the keeper for some time +withstood all my efforts to recall them. + +At length I lighted on the last. It was Lesher's tavern. I immediately +set out in search of it. After many inquiries, I at last arrived at the +door. I was preparing to enter the house when I perceived that my bundle +was gone. I had left it on the stall where I had been sitting. People +were perpetually passing to and fro. It was scarcely possible not to +have been noticed. No one that observed it would fail to make it his +prey. Yet it was of too much value to me to allow me to be governed by a +bare probability. I resolved to lose not a moment in returning. + +With some difficulty I retraced my steps, but the bundle had +disappeared. The clothes were, in themselves, of small value, but they +constituted the whole of my wardrobe; and I now reflected that they were +capable of being transmuted, by the pawn or sale of them, into food. +There were other wretches as indigent as I was, and I consoled myself by +thinking that my shirts and stockings might furnish a seasonable +covering to their nakedness; but there was a relic concealed within this +bundle, the loss of which could scarcely be endured by me. It was the +portrait of a young man who died three years ago at my father's house, +drawn by his own hand. + +He was discovered one morning in the orchard with many marks of insanity +upon him. His air and dress bespoke some elevation of rank and fortune. +My mother's compassion was excited, and, as his singularities were +harmless, an asylum was afforded him, though he was unable to pay for +it. He was constantly declaiming, in an incoherent manner, about some +mistress who had proved faithless. His speeches seemed, however, like +the rantings of an actor, to be rehearsed by rote or for the sake of +exercise. He was totally careless of his person and health, and, by +repeated negligences of this kind, at last contracted a fever of which +he speedily died. The name which he assumed was Clavering. + +He gave no distinct account of his family, but stated, in loose terms, +that they were residents in England, high-born and wealthy. That they +had denied him the woman whom he loved and banished him to America, +under penalty of death if he should dare to return, and that they had +refused him all means of subsistence in a foreign land. He predicted, in +his wild and declamatory way, his own death. He was very skilful at the +pencil, and drew this portrait a short time before his dissolution, +presented it to me, and charged me to preserve it in remembrance of him. +My mother loved the youth because he was amiable and unfortunate, and +chiefly because she fancied a very powerful resemblance between his +countenance and mine. I was too young to build affection on any rational +foundation. I loved him, for whatever reason, with an ardour unusual at +my age, and which this portrait had contributed to prolong and to +cherish. + +In thus finally leaving my home, I was careful not to leave this picture +behind. I wrapped it in paper in which a few elegiac stanzas were +inscribed in my own hand, and with my utmost elegance of penmanship. I +then placed it in a leathern case, which, for greater security, was +deposited in the centre of my bundle. It will occur to you, perhaps, +that it would be safer in some fold or pocket of the clothes which I +wore. I was of a different opinion, and was now to endure the penalty of +my error. + +It was in vain to heap execrations on my negligence, or to consume the +little strength left to me in regrets. I returned once more to the +tavern and made inquiries for Mr. Capper, the person whom I have just +mentioned as my father's neighbour. I was informed that Capper was now +in town; that he had lodged, on the last night, at this house; that he +had expected to do the same to-night, but a gentleman had called ten +minutes ago, whose invitation to lodge with him to-night had been +accepted. They had just gone out together. Who, I asked, was the +gentleman? The landlord had no knowledge of him; he knew neither his +place of abode nor his name. Was Mr. Capper expected to return hither in +the morning? No; he had heard the stranger propose to Mr. Capper to go +with him into the country to-morrow, and Mr. Capper, he believed, had +assented. + +This disappointment was peculiarly severe. I had lost, by my own +negligence, the only opportunity that would offer of meeting my friend. +Had even the recollection of my loss been postponed for three minutes, I +should have entered the house, and a meeting would have been secured. I +could discover no other expedient to obviate the present evil. My heart +began now, for the first time, to droop. I looked back, with nameless +emotions, on the days of my infancy. I called up the image of my mother. +I reflected on the infatuation of my surviving parent, and the +usurpation of the detestable Betty, with horror. I viewed myself as the +most calamitous and desolate of human beings. + +At this time I was sitting in the common room. There were others in the +same apartment, lounging, or whistling, or singing. I noticed them not, +but, leaning my head upon my hand, I delivered myself up to painful and +intense meditation. From this I was roused by some one placing himself +on the bench near me and addressing me thus:--"Pray, sir, if you will +excuse me, who was the person whom you were looking for just now? +Perhaps I can give you the information you want. If I can, you will be +very welcome to it." I fixed my eyes with some eagerness on the person +that spoke. He was a young man, expensively and fashionably dressed, +whose mien was considerably prepossessing, and whose countenance bespoke +some portion of discernment. I described to him the man whom I sought. +"I am in search of the same man myself," said he, "but I expect to meet +him here. He may lodge elsewhere, but he promised to meet me here at +half after nine. I have no doubt he will fulfil his promise, so that you +will meet the gentleman." + +I was highly gratified by this information, and thanked my informant +with some degree of warmth. My gratitude he did not notice, but +continued: "In order to beguile expectation, I have ordered supper; +will you do me the favour to partake with me, unless indeed you have +supped already?" I was obliged, somewhat awkwardly, to decline his +invitation, conscious as I was that the means of payment were not in my +power. He continued, however, to urge my compliance till at length it +was, though reluctantly, yielded. My chief motive was the certainty of +seeing Capper. + +My new acquaintance was exceedingly conversible, but his conversation +was chiefly characterized by frankness and good-humour. My reserve +gradually diminished, and I ventured to inform him, in general terms, of +my former condition and present views. He listened to my details with +seeming attention, and commented on them with some judiciousness. His +statements, however, tended to discourage me from remaining in the city. + +Meanwhile the hour passed and Capper did not appear. I noticed this +circumstance to him with no little solicitude. He said that possibly he +might have forgotten or neglected his engagement. His affair was not of +the highest importance, and might be readily postponed to a future +opportunity. He perceived that my vivacity was greatly damped by this +intelligence. He importuned me to disclose the cause. He made himself +very merry with my distress, when it was at length discovered. As to the +expense of supper, I had partaken of it at his invitation; he therefore +should of course be charged with it. As to lodging, he had a chamber and +a bed, which he would insist upon my sharing with him. + +My faculties were thus kept upon the stretch of wonder. Every new act of +kindness in this man surpassed the fondest expectation that I had +formed. I saw no reason why I should be treated with benevolence. I +should have acted in the same manner if placed in the same +circumstances; yet it appeared incongruous and inexplicable. I know +whence my ideas of human nature were derived. They certainly were not +the offspring of my own feelings. These would have taught me that +interest and duty were blended in every act of generosity. + +I did not come into the world without my scruples and suspicions. I was +more apt to impute kindnesses to sinister and hidden than to obvious and +laudable motives. + +I paused to reflect upon the possible designs of this person. What end +could be served by this behaviour? I was no subject of violence or +fraud. I had neither trinket nor coin to stimulate the treachery of +others. What was offered was merely lodging for the night. Was this an +act of such transcendent disinterestedness as to be incredible? My garb +was meaner than that of my companion, but my intellectual +accomplishments were at least upon a level with his. Why should he be +supposed to be insensible to my claims upon his kindness? I was a youth +destitute of experience, money, and friends; but I was not devoid of all +mental and personal endowments. That my merit should be discovered, even +on such slender intercourse, had surely nothing in it that shocked +belief. + +While I was thus deliberating, my new friend was earnest in his +solicitations for my company. He remarked my hesitation, but ascribed it +to a wrong cause. "Come," said he, "I can guess your objections and can +obviate them. You are afraid of being ushered into company; and people +who have passed their lives like you have a wonderful antipathy to +strange faces; but this is bedtime with our family, so that we can defer +your introduction to them till to-morrow. We may go to our chamber +without being seen by any but servants." + +I had not been aware of this circumstance. My reluctance flowed from a +different cause, but, now that the inconveniences of ceremony were +mentioned, they appeared to me of considerable weight. I was well +pleased that they should thus be avoided, and consented to go along with +him. + +We passed several streets and turned several corners. At last we turned +into a kind of court which seemed to be chiefly occupied by stables. "We +will go," said he, "by the back way into the house. We shall thus save +ourselves the necessity of entering the parlour, where some of the +family may still be." + +My companion was as talkative as ever, but said nothing from which I +could gather any knowledge of the number, character, and condition of +his family. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +We arrived at a brick wall, through which we passed by a gate into an +extensive court or yard. The darkness would allow me to see nothing but +outlines. Compared with the pigmy dimensions of my father's wooden +hovel, the buildings before me were of gigantic loftiness. The horses +were here far more magnificently accommodated than I had been. By a +large door we entered an elevated hall. "Stay here," said he, "just +while I fetch a light." + +He returned, bearing a candle, before I had time to ponder on my present +situation. + +We now ascended a staircase, covered with painted canvas. No one whose +inexperience is less than mine can imagine to himself the impressions +made upon me by surrounding objects. The height to which this stair +ascended, its dimensions, and its ornaments, appeared to me a +combination of all that was pompous and superb. + +We stopped not till we had reached the third story. Here my companion +unlocked and led the way into a chamber. "This," said he, "is my room; +permit me to welcome you into it." + +I had no time to examine this room before, by some accident, the candle +was extinguished. "Curse upon my carelessness!" said he. "I must go down +again and light the candle. I will return in a twinkling. Meanwhile you +may undress yourself and go to bed." He went out, and, as I afterwards +recollected, locked the door behind him. + +I was not indisposed to follow his advice, but my curiosity would first +be gratified by a survey of the room. Its height and spaciousness were +imperfectly discernible by starlight, and by gleams from a street-lamp. +The floor was covered with a carpet, the walls with brilliant hangings; +the bed and windows were shrouded by curtains of a rich texture and +glossy hues. Hitherto I had merely read of these things. I knew them to +be the decorations of opulence; and yet, as I viewed them, and +remembered where and what I was on the same hour the preceding day, I +could scarcely believe myself awake, or that my senses were not beguiled +by some spell. + +"Where," said I, "will this adventure terminate? I rise on the morrow +with the dawn and speed into the country. When this night is remembered, +how like a vision will it appear! If I tell the tale by a kitchen-fire, +my veracity will be disputed. I shall be ranked with the story-tellers +of Shiraz and Bagdad." + +Though busied in these reflections, I was not inattentive to the +progress of time. Methought my companion was remarkably dilatory. He +went merely to relight his candle, but certainly he might, during this +time, have performed the operation ten times over. Some unforeseen +accident might occasion his delay. + +Another interval passed, and no tokens of his coming. I began now to +grow uneasy. I was unable to account for his detention. Was not some +treachery designed? I went to the door, and found that it was locked. +This heightened my suspicions. I was alone, a stranger, in an upper room +of the house. Should my conductor have disappeared, by design or by +accident, and some one of the family should find me here, what would be +the consequence? Should I not be arrested as a thief, and conveyed to +prison? My transition from the street to this chamber would not be more +rapid than my passage hence to a jail. + +These ideas struck me with panic. I revolved them anew, but they only +acquired greater plausibility. No doubt I had been the victim of +malicious artifice. Inclination, however, conjured up opposite +sentiments, and my fears began to subside. What motive, I asked, could +induce a human being to inflict wanton injury? I could not account for +his delay; but how numberless were the contingencies that might occasion +it! + +I was somewhat comforted by these reflections, but the consolation they +afforded was short-lived. I was listening with the utmost eagerness to +catch the sound of a foot, when a noise was indeed heard, but totally +unlike a step. It was human breath struggling, as it were, for passage. +On the first effort of attention, it appeared like a groan. Whence it +arose I could not tell. He that uttered it was near; perhaps in the +room. + +Presently the same noise was again heard, and now I perceived that it +came from the bed. It was accompanied with a motion like some one +changing his posture. What I at first conceived to be a groan appeared +now to be nothing more than the expiration of a sleeping man. What +should I infer from this incident? My companion did not apprize me that +the apartment was inhabited. Was his imposture a jestful or a wicked +one? + +There was no need to deliberate. There were no means of concealment or +escape. The person would some time awaken and detect me. The interval +would only be fraught with agony, and it was wise to shorten it. Should +I not withdraw the curtain, awake the person, and encounter at once all +the consequences of my situation? I glided softly to the bed, when the +thought occurred, May not the sleeper be a female? + +I cannot describe the mixture of dread and of shame which glowed in my +veins. The light in which such a visitant would be probably regarded by +a woman's fears, the precipitate alarms that might be given, the injury +which I might unknowingly inflict or undeservedly suffer, threw my +thoughts into painful confusion. My presence might pollute a spotless +reputation, or furnish fuel to jealousy. + +Still, though it were a female, would not less injury be done by gently +interrupting her slumber? But the question of sex still remained to be +decided. For this end I once more approached the bed, and drew aside the +silk. The sleeper was a babe. This I discovered by the glimmer of a +street-lamp. + +Part of my solicitudes were now removed. It was plain that this chamber +belonged to a nurse or a mother. She had not yet come to bed. Perhaps it +was a married pair, and their approach might be momently expected. I +pictured to myself their entrance and my own detection. I could imagine +no consequence that was not disastrous and horrible, and from which I +would not at any price escape. I again examined the door, and found that +exit by this avenue was impossible. There were other doors in this room. +Any practicable expedient in this extremity was to be pursued. One of +these was bolted. I unfastened it and found a considerable space within. +Should I immure myself in this closet? I saw no benefit that would +finally result from it. I discovered that there was a bolt on the +inside, which would somewhat contribute to security. This being drawn, +no one could enter without breaking the door. + +I had scarcely paused, when the long-expected sound of footsteps was +heard in the entry. Was it my companion, or a stranger? If it were the +latter, I had not yet mustered courage sufficient to meet him. I cannot +applaud the magnanimity of my proceeding; but no one can expect intrepid +or judicious measures from one in my circumstances. I stepped into the +closet, and closed the door. Some one immediately after unlocked the +chamber door. He was unattended with a light. The footsteps, as they +moved along the carpet, could scarcely be heard. + +I waited impatiently for some token by which I might be governed. I put +my ear to the keyhole, and at length heard a voice, but not that of my +companion, exclaim, somewhat above a whisper, "Smiling cherub! safe and +sound, I see. Would to God my experiment may succeed, and that thou +mayest find a mother where I have found a wife!" There he stopped. He +appeared to kiss the babe, and, presently retiring, locked the door +after him. + +These words were capable of no consistent meaning. They served, at +least, to assure me that I had been treacherously dealt with. This +chamber, it was manifest, did not belong to my companion. I put up +prayers to my Deity that he would deliver me from these toils. What a +condition was mine! Immersed in palpable darkness! shut up in this +unknown recess! lurking like a robber! + +My meditations were disturbed by new sounds. The door was unlocked, +more than one person entered the apartment, and light streamed through +the keyhole. I looked; but the aperture was too small and the figures +passed too quickly to permit me the sight of them. I bent my ear, and +this imparted some more authentic information. + +The man, as I judged by the voice, was the same who had just departed. +Rustling of silk denoted his companion to be female. Some words being +uttered by the man, in too low a key to be overheard, the lady burst +into a passion of tears. He strove to comfort her by soothing tones and +tender appellations. "How can it be helped?" said he. "It is time to +resume your courage. Your duty to yourself and to me requires you to +subdue this unreasonable grief." + +He spoke frequently in this strain, but all he said seemed to have +little influence in pacifying the lady. At length, however, her sobs +began to lessen in vehemence and frequency. He exhorted her to seek for +some repose. Apparently she prepared to comply, and conversation was, +for a few minutes, intermitted. + +I could not but advert to the possibility that some occasion to examine +the closet, in which I was immured, might occur. I knew not in what +manner to demean myself if this should take place. I had no option at +present. By withdrawing myself from view I had lost the privilege of an +upright deportment. Yet the thought of spending the night in this spot +was not to be endured. + +Gradually I began to view the project of bursting from the closet, and +trusting to the energy of truth and of an artless tale, with more +complacency. More than once my hand was placed upon the bolt, but +withdrawn by a sudden faltering of resolution. When one attempt failed, +I recurred once more to such reflections as were adapted to renew my +purpose. + +I preconcerted the address which I should use. I resolved to be +perfectly explicit; to withhold no particular of my adventures from the +moment of my arrival. My description must necessarily suit some person +within their knowledge. All I should want was liberty to depart; but, if +this were not allowed, I might at least hope to escape any ill +treatment, and to be confronted with my betrayer. In that case I did not +fear to make him the attester of my innocence. + +Influenced by these considerations, I once more touched the lock. At +that moment the lady shrieked, and exclaimed, "Good God! What is here?" +An interesting conversation ensued. The object that excited her +astonishment was the child. I collected from what passed that the +discovery was wholly unexpected by her. Her husband acted as if equally +unaware of this event. He joined in all her exclamations of wonder and +all her wild conjectures. When these were somewhat exhausted, he +artfully insinuated the propriety of bestowing care upon the little +foundling. I now found that her grief had been occasioned by the recent +loss of her own offspring. She was, for some time, averse to her +husband's proposal, but at length was persuaded to take the babe to her +bosom and give it nourishment. + +This incident had diverted my mind from its favourite project, and +filled me with speculations on the nature of the scene. One explication +was obvious, that the husband was the parent of this child, and had used +this singular expedient to procure for it the maternal protection of his +wife. It would soon claim from her all the fondness which she +entertained for her own progeny. No suspicion probably had yet, or would +hereafter, occur with regard to its true parent. If her character be +distinguished by the usual attributes of women, the knowledge of this +truth may convert her love into hatred. I reflected with amazement on +the slightness of that thread by which human passions are led from their +true direction. With no less amazement did I remark the complexity of +incidents by which I had been empowered to communicate to her this +truth. How baseless are the structures of falsehood, which we build in +opposition to the system of eternal nature! If I should escape +undetected from this recess, it will be true that I never saw the face +of either of these persons, and yet I am acquainted with the most secret +transaction of their lives. + +My own situation was now more critical than before. The lights were +extinguished, and the parties had sought repose. To issue from the +closet now would be imminently dangerous. My councils were again at a +stand and my designs frustrated. Meanwhile the persons did not drop +their discourse, and I thought myself justified in listening. Many facts +of the most secret and momentous nature were alluded to. Some allusions +were unintelligible. To others I was able to affix a plausible meaning, +and some were palpable enough. Every word that was uttered on that +occasion is indelibly imprinted on my memory. Perhaps the singularity of +my circumstances, and my previous ignorance of what was passing in the +world, contributed to render me a greedy listener. Most that was said I +shall overlook; but one part of the conversation it will be necessary to +repeat. + +A large company had assembled that evening at their house. They +criticized the character and manners of several. At last the husband +said, "What think you of the nabob? Especially when he talked about +riches? How artfully he encourages the notion of his poverty! Yet not a +soul believes him. I cannot for my part account for that scheme of his. +I half suspect that his wealth flows from a bad source, since he is so +studious of concealing it." + +"Perhaps, after all," said the lady, "you are mistaken as to his +wealth." + +"Impossible," exclaimed the other. "Mark how he lives. Have I not seen +his bank-account? His deposits, since he has been here, amount to no +less than half a million." + +"Heaven grant that it be so!" said the lady, with a sigh. "I shall think +with less aversion of your scheme. If poor Tom's fortune be made, and he +not the worse, or but little the worse on that account, I shall think it +on the whole best." + +"That," replied he, "is what reconciles me to the scheme. To him thirty +thousand are nothing." + +"But will he not suspect you of some hand in it?" + +"How can he? Will I not appear to lose as well as himself? Tom is my +brother, but who can be supposed to answer for a brother's integrity? +but he cannot suspect either of us. Nothing less than a miracle can +bring our plot to light. Besides, this man is not what he ought to be. +He will, some time or other, come out to be a grand impostor. He makes +money by other arts than bargain and sale. He has found his way, by some +means, to the Portuguese treasury." + +Here the conversation took a new direction, and, after some time, the +silence of sleep ensued. + +Who, thought I, is this nabob who counts his dollars by half-millions, +and on whom it seems as if some fraud was intended to be practised? +Amidst their wariness and subtlety, how little are they aware that their +conversation has been overheard! By means as inscrutable as those which +conducted me hither, I may hereafter be enabled to profit by this +detection of a plot. But, meanwhile, what was I to do? How was I to +effect my escape from this perilous asylum? + +After much reflection, it occurred to me that to gain the street without +exciting their notice was not utterly impossible. Sleep does not +commonly end of itself, unless at a certain period. What impediments +were there between me and liberty which I could not remove, and remove +with so much caution as to escape notice? Motion and sound inevitably go +together; but every sound is not attended to. The doors of the closet +and the chamber did not creak upon their hinges. The latter might be +locked. This I was able to ascertain only by experiment. If it were so, +yet the key was probably in the lock, and might be used without much +noise. + +I waited till their slow and hoarser inspirations showed them to be both +asleep. Just then, on changing my position, my head struck against some +things which depended from the ceiling of the closet. They were +implements of some kind which rattled against each other in consequence +of this unlucky blow. I was fearful lest this noise should alarm, as the +closet was little distant from the bed. The breathing of one instantly +ceased, and a motion was made as if the head were lifted from the +pillow. This motion, which was made by the husband, awaked his +companion, who exclaimed, "What is the matter?" + +"Something, I believe," replied he, "in the closet. If I was not +dreaming, I heard the pistols strike against each other as if some one +was taking them down." + +This intimation was well suited to alarm the lady. She besought him to +ascertain the matter. This, to my utter dismay, he at first consented to +do, but presently observed that probably his ears had misinformed him. +It was hardly possible that the sound proceeded from them. It might be a +rat, or his own fancy might have fashioned it. It is not easy to +describe my trepidations while this conference was holding. I saw how +easily their slumber was disturbed. The obstacles to my escape were less +surmountable than I had imagined. + +In a little time all was again still. I waited till the usual tokens of +sleep were distinguishable. I once more resumed my attempt. The bolt was +withdrawn with all possible slowness; but I could by no means prevent +all sound. My state was full of inquietude and suspense; my attention +being painfully divided between the bolt and the condition of the +sleepers. The difficulty lay in giving that degree of force which was +barely sufficient. Perhaps not less than fifteen minutes were consumed +in this operation. At last it was happily effected, and the door was +cautiously opened. + +Emerging as I did from utter darkness, the light admitted into three +windows produced, to my eyes, a considerable illumination. Objects +which, on my first entrance into this apartment, were invisible, were +now clearly discerned. The bed was shrouded by curtains, yet I shrunk +back into my covert, fearful of being seen. To facilitate my escape, I +put off my shoes. My mind was so full of objects of more urgent moment, +that the propriety of taking them along with me never occurred. I left +them in the closet. + +I now glided across the apartment to the door. I was not a little +discouraged by observing that the key was wanting. My whole hope +depended on the omission to lock it. In my haste to ascertain this +point, I made some noise which again roused one of the sleepers. He +started, and cried, "Who is there?" + +I now regarded my case as desperate, and detection as inevitable. My +apprehensions, rather than my caution, kept me mute. I shrunk to the +wall, and waited in a kind of agony for the moment that should decide my +fate. + +The lady was again roused. In answer to her inquiries, her husband said +that some one, he believed, was at the door, but there was no danger of +their entering, for he had locked it, and the key was in his pocket. + +My courage was completely annihilated by this piece of intelligence. My +resources were now at an end. I could only remain in this spot till the +morning light, which could be at no great distance, should discover me. +My inexperience disabled me from estimating all the perils of my +situation. Perhaps I had no more than temporary inconveniences to dread. +My intention was innocent, and I had been betrayed into my present +situation, not by my own wickedness, but the wickedness of others. + +I was deeply impressed with the ambiguousness which would necessarily +rest upon my motives, and the scrutiny to which they would be subjected. +I shuddered at the bare possibility of being ranked with thieves. These +reflections again gave edge to my ingenuity in search of the means of +escape. I had carefully attended to the circumstances of their entrance. +Possibly the act of locking had been unnoticed; but was it not likewise +possible that this person had been mistaken? The key was gone. Would +this have been the case if the door were unlocked? + +My fears, rather than my hopes, impelled me to make the experiment. I +drew back the latch, and, to my unspeakable joy, the door opened. + +I passed through and explored my way to the staircase. I descended till +I reached the bottom. I could not recollect with accuracy the position +of the door leading into the court, but, by carefully feeling along the +wall with my hands, I at length discovered it. It was fastened by +several bolts and a lock. The bolts were easily withdrawn, but the key +was removed. I knew not where it was deposited. I thought I had reached +the threshold of liberty, but here was an impediment that threatened to +be insurmountable. + +But, if doors could not be passed, windows might be unbarred. I +remembered that my companion had gone into a door on the left hand, in +search of a light. I searched for this door. Fortunately it was fastened +only by a bolt. It admitted me into a room which I carefully explored +till I reached a window. I will not dwell on my efforts to unbar this +entrance. Suffice it to say that, after much exertion and frequent +mistakes, I at length found my way into the yard, and thence passed into +the court. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +Now I was once more on public ground. By so many anxious efforts had I +disengaged myself from the perilous precincts of private property. As +many stratagems as are usually made to enter a house had been employed +by me to get out of it. I was urged to the use of them by my fears; yet, +so far from carrying off spoil, I had escaped with the loss of an +essential part of my dress. + +I had now leisure to reflect. I seated myself on the ground and reviewed +the scenes through which I had just passed. I began to think that my +industry had been misemployed. Suppose I had met the person on his first +entrance into his chamber? Was the truth so utterly wild as not to have +found credit? Since the door was locked, and there was no other avenue, +what other statement but the true one would account for my being found +there? This deportment had been worthy of an honest purpose. My betrayer +probably expected that this would be the issue of his jest. My rustic +simplicity, he might think, would suggest no more ambiguous or elaborate +expedient. He might likewise have predetermined to interfere if my +safety had been really endangered. + +On the morrow the two doors of the chamber and the window below would be +found unclosed. They will suspect a design to pillage, but their +searches will terminate in nothing but in the discovery of a pair of +clumsy and dusty shoes in the closet. Now that I was safe I could not +help smiling at the picture which my fancy drew of their anxiety and +wonder. These thoughts, however, gave place to more momentous +considerations. + +I could not imagine to myself a more perfect example of indigence than I +now exhibited. There was no being in the city on whose kindness I had +any claim. Money I had none, and what I then wore comprised my whole +stock of movables. I had just lost my shoes, and this loss rendered my +stockings of no use. My dignity remonstrated against a barefoot +pilgrimage, but to this, necessity now reconciled me. I threw my +stockings between the bars of a stable-window, belonging, as I thought, +to the mansion I had just left. These, together with my shoes, I left to +pay the cost of my entertainment. + +I saw that the city was no place for me. The end that I had had in view, +of procuring some mechanical employment, could only be obtained by the +use of means, but what means to pursue I knew not. This night's perils +and deceptions gave me a distaste to a city life, and my ancient +occupations rose to my view enhanced by a thousand imaginary charms, I +resolved forthwith to strike into the country. + +The day began now to dawn. It was Sunday, and I was desirous of eluding +observation. I was somewhat recruited by rest, though the languors of +sleeplessness oppressed me. I meant to throw myself on the first lap of +verdure I should meet, and indulge in sleep that I so much wanted. I +knew not the direction of the streets; but followed that which I first +entered from the court, trusting that, by adhering steadily to one +course, I should some time reach the fields. This street, as I +afterwards found, tended to Schuylkill, and soon extricated me from +houses. I could not cross this river without payment of toll. It was +requisite to cross it in order to reach that part of the country whither +I was desirous of going; but how should I effect my passage? I knew of +no ford, and the smallest expense exceeded my capacity. Ten thousand +guineas and a farthing were equally remote from nothing, and nothing was +the portion allotted to me. + +While my mind was thus occupied, I turned up one of the streets which +tend northward. It was, for some length, uninhabited and unpaved. +Presently I reached a pavement, and a painted fence, along which a row +of poplars was planted. It bounded a garden into which a knot-hole +permitted me to pry. The enclosure was a charming green, which I saw +appended to a house of the loftiest and most stately order. It seemed +like a recent erection, had all the gloss of novelty, and exhibited, to +my unpractised eyes, the magnificence of palaces. My father's dwelling +did not equal the height of one story, and might be easily comprised in +one-fourth of those buildings which here were designed to accommodate +the menials. My heart dictated the comparison between my own condition +and that of the proprietors of this domain. How wide and how impassable +was the gulf by which we were separated! This fair inheritance had +fallen to one who, perhaps, would only abuse it to the purposes of +luxury, while I, with intentions worthy of the friend of mankind, was +doomed to wield the flail and the mattock. + +I had been entirely unaccustomed to this strain of reflection. My books +had taught me the dignity and safety of the middle path, and my darling +writer abounded with encomiums on rural life. At a distance from luxury +and pomp, I viewed them, perhaps, in a just light. A nearer scrutiny +confirmed my early prepossessions; but, at the distance at which I now +stood, the lofty edifices, the splendid furniture, and the copious +accommodations of the rich excited my admiration and my envy. + +I relinquished my station, and proceeded, in a heartless mood, along the +fence. I now came to the mansion itself. The principal door was entered +by a staircase of marble. I had never seen the stone of Carrara, and +wildly supposed this to have been dug from Italian quarries. The beauty +of the poplars, the coolness exhaled from the dew-besprent bricks, the +commodiousness of the seat which these steps afforded, and the +uncertainty into which I was plunged respecting my future conduct, all +combined to make me pause. I sat down on the lower step and began to +meditate. + +By some transition it occurred to me that the supply of my most urgent +wants might be found in some inhabitant of this house. I needed at +present a few cents; and what were a few cents to the tenant of a +mansion like this? I had an invincible aversion to the calling of a +beggar, but I regarded with still more antipathy the vocation of a +thief; to this alternative, however, I was now reduced. I must either +steal or beg; unless, indeed, assistance could be procured under the +notion of a loan. Would a stranger refuse to lend the pittance that I +wanted? Surely not, when the urgency of my wants was explained. + +I recollected other obstacles. To summon the master of the house from +his bed, perhaps, for the sake of such an application, would be +preposterous. I should be in more danger of provoking his anger than +exciting his benevolence. This request might, surely, with more +propriety be preferred to a passenger. I should, probably, meet several +before I should arrive at Schuylkill. + +A servant just then appeared at the door, with bucket and brush. This +obliged me, much sooner than I intended, to decamp. With some reluctance +I rose and proceeded. This house occupied the corner of the street, and +I now turned this corner towards the country. A person, at some distance +before me, was approaching in an opposite direction. + +"Why," said I, "may I not make my demand of the first man I meet? This +person exhibits tokens of ability to lend. There is nothing chilling or +austere in his demeanour." + +The resolution to address this passenger was almost formed; but the +nearer he advanced my resolves grew less firm. He noticed me not till he +came within a few paces. He seemed busy in reflection; and, had not my +figure caught his eye, or had he merely bestowed a passing glance upon +me, I should not have been sufficiently courageous to have detained him. +The event, however, was widely different. + +He looked at me and started. For an instant, as it were, and till he had +time to dart at me a second glance, he checked his pace. This behaviour +decided mine, and he stopped on perceiving tokens of a desire to address +him. I spoke, but my accents and air sufficiently denoted my +embarrassments:-- + +"I am going to solicit a favour which my situation makes of the highest +importance to me, and which I hope it will be easy for you, sir, to +grant. It is not an alms, but a loan, that I seek; a loan that I will +repay the moment I am able to do it. I am going to the country, but +have not wherewith to pay my passage over Schuylkill, or to buy a morsel +of bread. May I venture to request of you, sir, the loan of sixpence? As +I told you, it is my intention to repay it." + +I delivered this address, not without some faltering, but with great +earnestness. I laid particular stress upon my intention to refund the +money. He listened with a most inquisitive air. His eye perused me from +head to foot. + +After some pause, he said, in a very emphatic manner, "Why into the +country? Have you family? Kindred? Friends?" + +"No," answered I, "I have neither. I go in search of the means of +subsistence. I have passed my life upon a farm, and propose to die in +the same condition." + +"Whence have you come?" + +"I came yesterday from the country, with a view to earn my bread in some +way, but have changed my plan and propose now to return." + +"Why have you changed it? In what way are you capable of earning your +bread?" + +"I hardly know," said I. "I can, as yet, manage no tool, that can be +managed in the city, but the pen. My habits have, in some small degree, +qualified me for a writer. I would willingly accept employment of that +kind." + +He fixed his eyes upon the earth, and was silent for some minutes. At +length, recovering himself, he said, "Follow me to my house. Perhaps +something may be done for you. If not, I will lend you sixpence." + +It may be supposed that I eagerly complied with the invitation. My +companion said no more, his air bespeaking him to be absorbed by his own +thoughts, till he reached his house, which proved to be that at the door +of which I had been seated. We entered a parlour together. + +Unless you can assume my ignorance and my simplicity, you will be unable +to conceive the impressions that were made by the size and ornaments of +this apartment. I shall omit these impressions, which, indeed, no +description could adequately convey, and dwell on incidents of greater +moment. He asked me to give him a specimen of my penmanship. I told you +that I had bestowed very great attention upon this art. Implements were +brought, and I sat down to the task. By some inexplicable connection a +line in Shakspeare occurred to me, and I wrote,-- + + "My poverty, but not my will, consents." + +The sentiment conveyed in this line powerfully affected him, but in a +way which I could not then comprehend. I collected from subsequent +events that the inference was not unfavourable to my understanding or my +morals. He questioned me as to my history. I related my origin and my +inducements to desert my father's house. With respect to last night's +adventures I was silent. I saw no useful purpose that could be answered +by disclosure, and I half suspected that my companion would refuse +credit to my tale. + +There were frequent intervals of abstraction and reflection between his +questions. My examination lasted not much less than an hour. At length +he said, "I want an amanuensis or copyist. On what terms will you live +with me?" + +I answered that I knew not how to estimate the value of my services. I +knew not whether these services were agreeable or healthful. My life had +hitherto been active. My constitution was predisposed to diseases of the +lungs, and the change might be hurtful. I was willing, however, to try +and to content myself for a month or a year, with so much as would +furnish me with food, clothing, and lodging. + +"'Tis well," said he. "You remain with me as long and no longer than +both of us please. You shall lodge and eat in this house. I will supply +you with clothing, and your task will be to write what I dictate. Your +person, I see, has not shared much of your attention. It is in my power +to equip you instantly in the manner which becomes a resident in this +house. Come with me." + +He led the way into the court behind and thence into a neat building, +which contained large wooden vessels and a pump: "There," said he, "you +may wash yourself; and, when that is done, I will conduct you to your +chamber and your wardrobe." + +This was speedily performed, and he accordingly led the way to the +chamber. It was an apartment in the third story, finished and furnished +in the same costly and superb style with the rest of the house. He +opened closets and drawers which overflowed with clothes and linen of +all and of the best kinds. "These are yours," said he, "as long as you +stay with me. Dress yourself as likes you best. Here is every thing your +nakedness requires. When dressed, you may descend to breakfast." With +these words he left me. + +The clothes were all in the French style, as I afterwards, by comparing +my garb with that of others, discovered. They were fitted to my shape +with the nicest precision. I bedecked myself with all my care. I +remembered the style of dress used by my beloved Clavering. My locks +were of shining auburn, flowing and smooth like his. Having wrung the +wet from them, and combed, I tied them carelessly in a black riband. +Thus equipped, I surveyed myself in a mirror. + +You may imagine, if you can, the sensations which this instantaneous +transformation produced. Appearances are wonderfully influenced by +dress. Check shirt, buttoned at the neck, an awkward fustian coat, check +trowsers and bare feet, were now supplanted by linen and muslin, nankeen +coat striped with green, a white silk waistcoat elegantly +needle-wrought, cassimere pantaloons, stockings of variegated silk, and +shoes that in their softness, pliancy, and polished surface vied with +satin. I could scarcely forbear looking back to see whether the image in +the glass, so well proportioned, so gallant, and so graceful, did not +belong to another. I could scarcely recognise any lineaments of my own. +I walked to the window. "Twenty minutes ago," said I, "I was traversing +that path a barefoot beggar; now I am thus." Again I surveyed myself. +"Surely some insanity has fastened on my understanding. My senses are +the sport of dreams. Some magic that disdains the cumbrousness of +nature's progress has wrought this change." I was roused from these +doubts by a summons to breakfast, obsequiously delivered by a black +servant. + +I found Welbeck (for I shall henceforth call him by his true name) at +the breakfast-table. A superb equipage of silver and china was before +him. He was startled at my entrance. The change in my dress seemed for a +moment to have deceived him. His eye was frequently fixed upon me with +unusual steadfastness. At these times there was inquietude and wonder in +his features. + +I had now an opportunity of examining my host. There was nicety but no +ornament in his dress. His form was of the middle height, spare, but +vigorous and graceful. His face was cast, I thought, in a foreign mould. +His forehead receded beyond the usual degree in visages which I had +seen. His eyes large and prominent, but imparting no marks of benignity +and habitual joy. The rest of his face forcibly suggested the idea of a +convex edge. His whole figure impressed me with emotions of veneration +and awe. A gravity that almost amounted to sadness invariably attended +him when we were alone together. + +He whispered the servant that waited, who immediately retired. He then +said, turning to me, "A lady will enter presently, whom you are to treat +with the respect due to my daughter. You must not notice any emotion she +may betray at the sight of you, nor expect her to converse with you; for +she does not understand your language." He had scarcely spoken when she +entered. I was seized with certain misgivings and flutterings which a +clownish education may account for. I so far conquered my timidity, +however, as to snatch a look at her. I was not born to execute her +portrait. Perhaps the turban that wreathed her head, the brilliant +texture and inimitable folds of her drapery, and nymphlike port, more +than the essential attributes of her person, gave splendour to the +celestial vision. Perhaps it was her snowy hues, and the cast rather +than the position of her features, that were so prolific of enchantment; +or perhaps the wonder originated only in my own ignorance. + +She did not immediately notice me. When she did she almost shrieked with +surprise. She held up her hands, and, gazing upon me, uttered various +exclamations which I could not understand. I could only remark that her +accents were thrillingly musical. Her perturbations refused to be +stilled. It was with difficulty that she withdrew her regards from me. +Much conversation passed between her and Welbeck, but I could comprehend +no part of it. I was at liberty to animadvert on the visible part of +their intercourse. I diverted some part of my attention from my own +embarrassments, and fixed it on their looks. + +In this art, as in most others, I was an unpractised simpleton. In the +countenance of Welbeck, there was somewhat else than sympathy with the +astonishment and distress of the lady; but I could not interpret these +additional tokens. When her attention was engrossed by Welbeck, her eyes +were frequently vagrant or downcast; her cheeks contracted a deeper hue; +and her breathing was almost prolonged into a sigh. These were marks on +which I made no comments at the time. My own situation was calculated to +breed confusion in my thoughts and awkwardness in my gestures. Breakfast +being finished, the lady, apparently at the request of Welbeck, sat down +to a piano-forte. + +Here again I must be silent. I was not wholly destitute of musical +practice and musical taste. I had that degree of knowledge which enabled +me to estimate the transcendent skill of this performer. As if the +pathos of her touch were insufficient, I found after some time that the +lawless jarrings of the keys were chastened by her own more liquid +notes. She played without a book, and, though her bass might be +preconcerted, it was plain that her right-hand notes were momentary and +spontaneous inspirations. Meanwhile Welbeck stood, leaning his arms on +the back of a chair near her, with his eyes fixed on her face. His +features were fraught with a meaning which I was eager to interpret, but +unable. + +I have read of transitions effected by magic; I have read of palaces and +deserts which were subject to the dominion of spells; poets may sport +with their power, but I am certain that no transition was ever conceived +more marvellous and more beyond the reach of foresight than that which I +had just experienced. Heaths vexed by a midnight storm may be changed +into a hall of choral nymphs and regal banqueting; forest glades may +give sudden place to colonnades and carnivals; but he whose senses are +deluded finds himself still on his natal earth. These miracles are +contemptible when compared with that which placed me under this roof and +gave me to partake in this audience. I know that my emotions are in +danger of being regarded as ludicrous by those who cannot figure to +themselves the consequences of a limited and rustic education. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + +In a short time the lady retired. I naturally expected that some +comments would be made on her behaviour, and that the cause of her +surprise and distress on seeing me would be explained; but Welbeck said +nothing on that subject. When she had gone, he went to the window and +stood for some time occupied, as it seemed, with his own thoughts. Then +he turned to me, and, calling me by my name, desired me to accompany him +up-stairs. There was neither cheerfulness nor mildness in his address, +but neither was there any thing domineering or arrogant. + +We entered an apartment on the same floor with my chamber, but separated +from it by a spacious entry. It was supplied with bureaus, cabinets, and +bookcases. "This," said he, "is your room and mine; but we must enter it +and leave it together. I mean to act not as your master but your friend. +My maimed hand" (so saying, he showed me his right hand, the forefinger +of which was wanting) "will not allow me to write accurately or +copiously. For this reason I have required your aid, in a work of some +moment. Much haste will not be requisite, and, as to the hours and +duration of employment, these will be seasonable and short. + +"Your present situation is new to you, and we will therefore defer +entering on our business. Meanwhile you may amuse yourself in what +manner you please. Consider this house as your home and make yourself +familiar with it. Stay within or go out, be busy or be idle, as your +fancy shall prompt: only you will conform to our domestic system as to +eating and sleep; the servants will inform you of this. Next week we +will enter on the task for which I designed you. You may now withdraw." + +I obeyed this mandate with some awkwardness and hesitation. I went into +my own chamber not displeased with an opportunity of loneliness. I threw +myself on a chair and resigned myself to those thoughts which would +naturally arise in this situation. I speculated on the character and +views of Welbeck. I saw that he was embosomed in tranquillity and +grandeur. Riches, therefore, were his; but in what did his opulence +consist, and whence did it arise? What were the limits by which it was +confined, and what its degree of permanence? I was unhabituated to ideas +of floating or transferable wealth. The rent of houses and lands was the +only species of property which was, as yet, perfectly intelligible. My +previous ideas led me to regard Welbeck as the proprietor of this +dwelling and of numerous houses and farms. By the same cause I was fain +to suppose him enriched by inheritance, and that his life had been +uniform. + +I next adverted to his social condition. This mansion appeared to have +but two inhabitants besides servants. Who was the nymph who had hovered +for a moment in my sight? Had he not called her his daughter? The +apparent difference in their ages would justify this relation; but her +guise, her features, and her accents, were foreign. Her language I +suspected strongly to be that of Italy. How should he be the father of +an Italian? But were there not some foreign lineaments in his +countenance? + +This idea seemed to open a new world to my view. I had gained, from my +books, confused ideas of European governments and manners. I knew that +the present was a period of revolution and hostility. Might not these be +illustrious fugitives from Provence or the Milanese? Their portable +wealth, which may reasonably be supposed to be great, they have +transported hither. Thus may be explained the sorrow that veils their +countenance. The loss of estates and honours; the untimely death of +kindred, and perhaps of his wife, may furnish eternal food for regrets. +Welbeck's utterance, though rapid and distinct, partook, as I conceived, +in some very slight degree of a foreign idiom. + +Such was the dream that haunted my undisciplined and unenlightened +imagination. The more I revolved it, the more plausible it seemed. On +due supposition every appearance that I had witnessed was easily +solved,--unless it were their treatment of me. This, at first, was a +source of hopeless perplexity. Gradually, however, a clue seemed to be +afforded. Welbeck had betrayed astonishment on my first appearance. The +lady's wonder was mingled with distress. Perhaps they discovered a +remarkable resemblance between me and one who stood in the relation of +son to Welbeck, and of brother to the lady. This youth might have +perished on the scaffold or in war. These, no doubt, were his clothes. +This chamber might have been reserved for him, but his death left it to +be appropriated to another. + +I had hitherto been unable to guess at the reason why all this kindness +had been lavished on me. Will not this conjecture sufficiently account +for it? No wonder that this resemblance was enhanced by assuming his +dress. + +Taking all circumstances into view, these ideas were not, perhaps, +destitute of probability. Appearances naturally suggested them to me. +They were, also, powerfully enforced by inclination. They threw me into +transports of wonder and hope. When I dwelt upon the incidents of my +past life, and traced the chain of events, from the death of my mother +to the present moment, I almost acquiesced in the notion that some +beneficent and ruling genius had prepared my path for me. Events which, +when foreseen, would most ardently have been deprecated, and when they +happened were accounted in the highest degree luckless, were now seen to +be propitious. Hence I inferred the infatuation of despair, and the +folly of precipitate conclusions. + +But what was the fate reserved for me? Perhaps Welbeck would adopt me +for his own son. Wealth has ever been capriciously distributed. The mere +physical relation of birth is all that entitles us to manors and +thrones. Identity itself frequently depends upon a casual likeness or an +old nurse's imposture. Nations have risen in arms, as in the case of the +Stuarts, in the cause of one the genuineness of whose birth has been +denied and can never be proved. But if the cause be trivial and +fallacious, the effects are momentous and solid. It ascertains our +portion of felicity and usefulness, and fixes our lot among peasants or +princes. + +Something may depend upon my own deportment. Will it not behoove me to +cultivate all my virtues and eradicate all my defects? I see that the +abilities of this man are venerable. Perhaps he will not lightly or +hastily decide in my favour. He will be governed by the proofs that I +shall give of discernment and integrity. I had always been exempt from +temptation, and was therefore undepraved; but this view of things had a +wonderful tendency to invigorate my virtuous resolutions. All within me +was exhilaration and joy. + +There was but one thing wanting to exalt me to a dizzy height and give +me place among the stars of heaven. My resemblance to her brother had +forcibly affected this lady; but I was not her brother. I was raised to +a level with her and made a tenant of the same mansion. Some intercourse +would take place between us. Time would lay level impediments and +establish familiarity, and this intercourse might foster love and +terminate in--_marriage_! + +These images were of a nature too glowing and expansive to allow me to +be longer inactive. I sallied forth into the open air. This tumult of +delicious thoughts in some time subsided, and gave way to images +relative to my present situation. My curiosity was awake. As yet I had +seen little of the city, and this opportunity for observation was not to +be neglected. I therefore coursed through several streets, attentively +examining the objects that successively presented themselves. + +At length, it occurred to me to search out the house in which I had +lately been immured. I was not without hopes that at some future period +I should be able to comprehend the allusions and brighten the +obscurities that hung about the dialogue of last night. + +The house was easily discovered. I reconnoitred the court and gate +through which I had passed. The mansion was of the first order in +magnitude and decoration. This was not the bound of my present +discovery, for I was gifted with that confidence which would make me set +on foot inquiries in the neighbourhood. I looked around for a suitable +medium of intelligence. The opposite and adjoining houses were small, +and apparently occupied by persons of an indigent class. At one of these +was a sign denoting it to be the residence of a tailor. Seated on a +bench at the door was a young man, with coarse uncombed locks, breeches +knee-unbuttoned, stockings ungartered, shoes slipshod and unbuckled, and +a face unwashed, gazing stupidly from hollow eyes. His aspect was +embellished with good nature, though indicative of ignorance. + +This was the only person in sight. He might be able to say something +concerning his opulent neighbour. To him, therefore, I resolved to +apply. I went up to him, and, pointing to the house in question, asked +him who lived there. + +He answered, "Mr. Matthews." + +"What is his profession,--his way of life?" + +"A gentleman. He does nothing but walk about." + +"How long has he been married?" + +"Married! He is not married as I know on. He never has been married. He +is a bachelor." + +This intelligence was unexpected. It made me pause to reflect whether I +had not mistaken the house. This, however, seemed impossible. I renewed +my questions. + +"A bachelor, say you? Are you not mistaken?" + +"No. It would be an odd thing if he was married. An old fellow, with one +foot in the grave--Comical enough for him to _git_ a _vife_!" + +"An old man? Does he live alone? What is his family?" + +"No, he does not live alone. He has a niece that lives with him. She is +married, and her husband lives there too." + +"What is his name?" + +"I don't know. I never heard it as I know on." + +"What is his trade?" + +"He's a merchant; he keeps a store somewhere or other; but I don't know +where." + +"How long has he been married?" + +"About two years. They lost a child lately. The young woman was in a +huge taking about it. They say she was quite crazy some days for the +death of the child; and she is not quite out of _the dumps_ yet. +To-be-sure, the child was a sweet little thing; but they need not make +such a rout about it. I'll war'n' they'll have enough of them before +they die." + +"What is the character of the young man? Where was he born and educated? +Has he parents or brothers?" + +My companion was incapable of answering these questions, and I left him +with little essential addition to the knowledge I already possessed. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + +After viewing various parts of the city, intruding into churches, and +diving into alleys, I returned. The rest of the day I spent chiefly in +my chamber, reflecting on my new condition; surveying my apartment, its +presses and closets; and conjecturing the causes of appearances. + +At dinner and supper I was alone. Venturing to inquire of the servant +where his master and mistress were, I was answered that they were +engaged. I did not question him as to the nature of their engagement, +though it was a fertile source of curiosity. + +Next morning, at breakfast, I again met Welbeck and the lady. The +incidents were nearly those of the preceding morning, if it were not +that the lady exhibited tokens of somewhat greater uneasiness. When she +left us, Welbeck sank into apparent meditation. I was at a loss whether +to retire or remain where I was. At last, however, I was on the point of +leaving the room, when he broke silence and began a conversation with +me. + +He put questions to me, the obvious scope of which was to know my +sentiments on moral topics. I had no motives to conceal my opinions, and +therefore delivered them with frankness. At length he introduced +allusions to my own history, and made more particular inquiries on that +head. Here I was not equally frank; yet I did not feign any thing, but +merely dealt in generals. I had acquired notions of propriety on this +head, perhaps somewhat fastidious. Minute details, respecting our own +concerns, are apt to weary all but the narrator himself. I said thus +much, and the truth of my remark was eagerly assented to. + +With some marks of hesitation and after various preliminaries, my +companion hinted that my own interest, as well as his, enjoined upon me +silence to all but himself, on the subject of my birth and early +adventures. It was not likely that, while in his service, my circle of +acquaintance would be large or my intercourse with the world frequent; +but in my communication with others he requested me to speak rather of +others than of myself. This request, he said, might appear singular to +me, but he had his reasons for making it, which it was not necessary, at +present, to disclose, though, when I should know them, I should readily +acknowledge their validity. + +I scarcely knew what answer to make. I was willing to oblige him. I was +far from expecting that any exigence would occur, making disclosure my +duty. The employment was productive of pain more than of pleasure, and +the curiosity that would uselessly seek a knowledge of my past life was +no less impertinent than the loquacity that would uselessly communicate +that knowledge. I readily promised, therefore, to adhere to his advice. + +This assurance afforded him evident satisfaction; yet it did not seem to +amount to quite as much as he wished. He repeated, in stronger terms, +the necessity there was for caution. He was far from suspecting me to +possess an impertinent and talkative disposition, or that, in my +eagerness to expatiate on my own concerns, I should overstep the limits +of politeness. But this was not enough. I was to govern myself by a +persuasion that the interests of my friend and myself would be +materially affected by my conduct. + +Perhaps I ought to have allowed these insinuations to breed suspicion in +my mind; but, conscious as I was of the benefits which I had received +from this man; prone, from my inexperience, to rely upon professions and +confide in appearances; and unaware that I could be placed in any +condition in which mere silence respecting myself could be injurious or +criminal, I made no scruple to promise compliance with his wishes. Nay, +I went further than this; I desired to be accurately informed as to what +it was proper to conceal. He answered that my silence might extend to +every thing anterior to my arrival in the city and my being incorporated +with his family. Here our conversation ended, and I retired to ruminate +on what had passed. + +I derived little satisfaction from my reflections. I began now to +perceive inconveniences that might arise from this precipitate promise. +Whatever should happen in consequence of my being immured in the +chamber, and of the loss of my clothes and of the portrait of my friend, +I had bound myself to silence. These inquietudes, however, were +transient. I trusted that these events would operate auspiciously; but +my curiosity was now awakened as to the motives which _Welbeck_ could +have for exacting from me this concealment. To act under the guidance of +another, and to wander in the dark, ignorant whither my path tended and +what effects might flow from my agency, was a new and irksome situation. + +From these thoughts I was recalled by a message from Welbeck. He gave me +a folded paper, which he requested me to carry to No.--South Fourth +Street. "Inquire," said he, "for Mrs. Wentworth, in order merely to +ascertain the house, for you need not ask to see her; merely give the +letter to the servant and retire. Excuse me for imposing this service +upon you. It is of too great moment to be trusted to a common messenger; +I usually perform it myself, but am at present otherwise engaged." + +I took the letter and set out to deliver it. This was a trifling +circumstance, yet my mind was full of reflections on the consequences +that might flow from it. I remembered the directions that were given, +but construed them in a manner different, perhaps, from Welbeck's +expectations or wishes. He had charged me to leave the billet with the +servant who happened to answer my summons; but had he not said that the +message was important, insomuch that it could not be intrusted to common +hands? He had permitted, rather than enjoined, me to dispense with +seeing the lady; and this permission I conceived to be dictated merely +by regard to my convenience. It was incumbent on me, therefore, to take +some pains to deliver the script into her own hands. + +I arrived at the house and knocked. A female servant appeared. "Her +mistress was up-stairs; she would tell her if I wished to see her," and +meanwhile invited me to enter the parlour; I did so; and the girl +retired to inform her mistress that one waited for her. I ought to +mention that my departure from the directions which I had received was, +in some degree, owing to an inquisitive temper; I was eager after +knowledge, and was disposed to profit by every opportunity to survey the +interior of dwellings and converse with their inhabitants. + +I scanned the walls, the furniture, the pictures. Over the fireplace was +a portrait in oil of a female. She was elderly and matron-like. Perhaps +she was the mistress of this habitation, and the person to whom I should +immediately be introduced. Was it a casual suggestion, or was there an +actual resemblance between the strokes of the pencil which executed this +portrait and that of Clavering? However that be, the sight of this +picture revived the memory of my friend and called up a fugitive +suspicion that this was the production of his skill. + +I was busily revolving this idea when the lady herself entered. It was +the same whose portrait I had been examining. She fixed scrutinizing and +powerful eyes upon me. She looked at the superscription of the letter +which I presented, and immediately resumed her examination of me. I was +somewhat abashed by the closeness of her observation, and gave tokens of +this state of mind which did not pass unobserved. They seemed instantly +to remind her that she behaved with too little regard to civility. She +recovered herself and began to peruse the letter. Having done this, her +attention was once more fixed upon me. She was evidently desirous of +entering into some conversation, but seemed at a loss in what manner to +begin. This situation was new to me and was productive of no small +embarrassment. I was preparing to take my leave when she spoke, though +not without considerable hesitation:-- + +"This letter is from Mr. Welbeck--you are his friend--I +presume--perhaps--a relation?" + +I was conscious that I had no claim to either of these titles, and that +I was no more than his servant. My pride would not allow me to +acknowledge this, and I merely said, "I live with him at present, +madam." + +I imagined that this answer did not perfectly satisfy her; yet she +received it with a certain air of acquiescence. She was silent for a few +minutes, and then, rising, said, "Excuse me, sir, for a few minutes. I +will write a few words to Mr. Welbeck." So saying, she withdrew. + +I returned to the contemplation of the picture. From this, however, my +attention was quickly diverted by a paper that lay on the mantel. A +single glance was sufficient to put my blood into motion. I started and +laid my hand upon the well-known packet. It was that which enclosed the +portrait of Clavering! + +I unfolded and examined it with eagerness. By what miracle came it +hither? It was found, together with my bundle, two nights before. I had +despaired of ever seeing it again, and yet here was the same portrait +enclosed in the selfsame paper! I have forborne to dwell upon the +regret, amounting to grief, with which I was affected in consequence of +the loss of this precious relic. My joy on thus speedily and +unexpectedly regaining it is not easily described. + +For a time I did not reflect that to hold it thus in my hand was not +sufficient to entitle me to repossession. I must acquaint this lady with +the history of this picture, and convince her of my ownership. But how +was this to be done? Was she connected in any way, by friendship or by +consanguinity, with that unfortunate youth? If she were, some +information as to his destiny would be anxiously sought. I did not, just +then, perceive any impropriety in imparting it. If it came into her +hands by accident, still, it will be necessary to relate the mode in +which it was lost in order to prove my title to it. + +I now heard her descending footsteps, and hastily replaced the picture +on the mantel. She entered, and, presenting me a letter, desired me to +deliver it to Mr. Welbeck. I had no pretext for deferring my departure, +but was unwilling to go without obtaining possession of the portrait. An +interval of silence and irresolution succeeded. I cast significant +glances at the spot where it lay, and at length mustered up my strength +of mind, and, pointing to the paper,--"Madam," said I, "_there_ is +something which I recognise to be mine: I know not how it came into your +possession, but so lately as the day before yesterday it was in mine. I +lost it by a strange accident, and, as I deem it of inestimable value, I +hope you will have no objection to restore it." + +During this speech the lady's countenance exhibited marks of the utmost +perturbation. "Your picture!" she exclaimed; "you lost it! How? Where? +Did you know that person? What has become of him?" + +"I knew him well," said I. "That picture was executed by himself. He +gave it to me with his own hands; and, till the moment I unfortunately +lost it, it was my dear and perpetual companion." + +"Good heaven!" she exclaimed, with increasing vehemence; "where did you +meet with him? What has become of him? Is he dead, or alive?" + +These appearances sufficiently showed me that Clavering and this lady +were connected by some ties of tenderness. I answered that he was dead; +that my mother and myself were his attendants and nurses, and that this +portrait was his legacy to me. + +This intelligence melted her into tears, and it was some time before she +recovered strength enough to resume the conversation. She then inquired, +"When and where was it that he died? How did you lose this portrait? It +was found wrapped in some coarse clothes, lying in a stall in the +market-house, on Saturday evening. Two negro women, servants of one of +my friends, strolling through the market, found it and brought it to +their mistress, who, recognising the portrait, sent it to me. To whom +did that bundle belong? Was it yours?" + +These questions reminded me of the painful predicament in which I now +stood. I had promised Welbeck to conceal from every one my former +condition; but to explain in what manner this bundle was lost, and how +my intercourse with Clavering had taken place, was to violate this +promise. It was possible, perhaps, to escape the confession of the truth +by equivocation. Falsehoods were easily invented, and might lead her far +away from my true condition; but I was wholly unused to equivocation. +Never yet had a lie polluted my lips. I was not weak enough to be +ashamed of my origin. This lady had an interest in the fate of +Clavering, and might justly claim all the information which I was able +to impart. Yet to forget the compact which I had so lately made, and an +adherence to which might possibly be in the highest degree beneficial to +me and to Welbeck; I was willing to adhere to it, provided falsehood +could be avoided. + +These thoughts rendered me silent. The pain of my embarrassment amounted +almost to agony. I felt the keenest regret at my own precipitation in +claiming the picture. Its value to me was altogether imaginary. The +affection which this lady had borne the original, whatever was the +source of that affection, would prompt her to cherish the copy, and, +however precious it was in my eyes, I should cheerfully resign it to +her. + +In the confusion of my thoughts an expedient suggested itself +sufficiently inartificial and bold. "It is true, madam, what I have +said. I saw him breathe his last. This is his only legacy. If you wish +it I willingly resign it; but this is all that I can now disclose. I am +placed in circumstances which render it improper to say more." + +These words were uttered not very distinctly, and the lady's vehemence +hindered her from noticing them. She again repeated her interrogations, +to which I returned the same answer. + +At first she expressed the utmost surprise at my conduct. From this she +descended to some degree of asperity. She made rapid allusions to the +history of Clavering. He was the son of the gentleman who owned the +house in which Welbeck resided. He was the object of immeasurable +fondness and indulgence. He had sought permission to travel, and, this +being refused by the absurd timidity of his parents, he had twice been +frustrated in attempting to embark for Europe clandestinely. They +ascribed his disappearance to a third and successful attempt of this +kind, and had exercised anxious and unwearied diligence in endeavouring +to trace his footsteps. All their efforts had failed. One motive for +their returning to Europe was the hope of discovering some traces of +him, as they entertained no doubt of his having crossed the ocean. The +vehemence of Mrs. Wentworth's curiosity as to those particulars of his +life and death may be easily conceived. My refusal only heightened this +passion. + +Finding me refractory to all her efforts, she at length dismissed me in +anger. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + +This extraordinary interview was now past. Pleasure as well as pain +attended my reflections on it. I adhered to the promise I had +improvidently given to Welbeck, but had excited displeasure, and perhaps +suspicion, in the lady. She would find it hard to account for my +silence. She would probably impute it to perverseness, or imagine it to +flow from some incident connected with the death of Clavering, +calculated to give a new edge to her curiosity. + +It was plain that some connection subsisted between her and Welbeck. +Would she drop the subject at the point which it had now attained? Would +she cease to exert herself to extract from me the desired information, +or would she not rather make Welbeck a party in the cause, and prejudice +my new friend against me? This was an evil proper, by all lawful means, +to avoid. I knew of no other expedient than to confess to him the truth +with regard to Clavering, and explain to him the dilemma in which my +adherence to my promise had involved me. + +I found him on my return home, and delivered him the letter with which I +was charged. At the sight of it, surprise, mingled with some uneasiness, +appeared in his looks. "What!" said he, in a tone of disappointment, +"you then saw the lady?" + +I now remembered his directions to leave my message at the door, and +apologized for my neglecting them by telling my reasons. His chagrin +vanished, but not without an apparent effort, and he said that all was +well; the affair was of no moment. + +After a pause of preparation, I entreated his attention to something +which I had to relate. I then detailed the history of Clavering and of +my late embarrassments. As I went on, his countenance betokened +increasing solicitude. His emotion was particularly strong when I came +to the interrogatories of Mrs. Wentworth in relation to Clavering; but +this emotion gave way to profound surprise when I related the manner in +which I had eluded her inquiries. I concluded with observing that, when +I promised forbearance on the subject of my own adventures, I had not +foreseen any exigence which would make an adherence to my promise +difficult or inconvenient; that, if his interest was promoted by my +silence, I was still willing to maintain it, and requested his +directions how to conduct myself on this occasion. + +He appeared to ponder deeply and with much perplexity on what I had +said. When he spoke there was hesitation in his manner and circuity in +his expressions, that proved him to have something in his thoughts which +he knew not how to communicate. He frequently paused; but my answers and +remarks, occasionally given, appeared to deter him from the revelation +of his purpose. Our discourse ended, for the present, by his desiring me +to persist in my present plan; I should suffer no inconveniences from +it, since it would be my own fault if an interview again took place +between the lady and me; meanwhile he should see her and effectually +silence her inquiries. + +I ruminated not superficially or briefly on this dialogue. By what means +would he silence her inquiries? He surely meant not to mislead her by +fallacious representations. Some inquietude now crept into my thoughts. +I began to form conjectures as to the nature of the scheme to which my +suppression of the truth was to be thus made subservient. It seemed as +if I were walking in the dark and might rush into snares or drop into +pits before I was aware of my danger. Each moment accumulated my doubts, +and I cherished a secret foreboding that the event would prove my new +situation to be far less fortunate than I had, at first, fondly +believed. The question now occurred, with painful repetition, who and +what was Welbeck? What was his relation to this foreign lady? What was +the service for which I was to be employed? + +I could not be contented without a solution of these mysteries. Why +should I not lay my soul open before my new friend? Considering my +situation, would he regard my fears and my surmises as criminal? I felt +that they originated in laudable habits and views. My peace of mind +depended on the favourable verdict which conscience should pass on my +proceedings. I saw the emptiness of fame and luxury, when put in the +balance against the recompense of virtue. Never would I purchase the +blandishments of adulation and the glare of opulence at the price of my +honesty. + +Amidst these reflections the dinner-hour arrived. The lady and Welbeck +were present. A new train of sentiments now occupied my mind. I regarded +them both with inquisitive eyes. I cannot well account for the +revolution which had taken place in my mind. Perhaps it was a proof of +the capriciousness of my temper, or it was merely the fruit of my +profound ignorance of life and manners. Whencesoever it arose, certain +it is that I contemplated the scene before me with altered eyes. Its +order and pomp was no longer the parent of tranquillity and awe. My wild +reveries of inheriting this splendour and appropriating the affections +of this nymph, I now regarded as lunatic hope and childish folly. +Education and nature had qualified me for a different scene. This might +be the mask of misery and the structure of vice. + +My companions as well as myself were silent during the meal. The lady +retired as soon as it was finished. My inexplicable melancholy +increased. It did not pass unnoticed by Welbeck, who inquired, with an +air of kindness, into the cause of my visible dejection. I am almost +ashamed to relate to what extremes my folly transported me. Instead of +answering him, I was weak enough to shed tears. + +This excited afresh his surprise and his sympathy. He renewed his +inquiries; my heart was full, but how to disburden it I knew not. At +length, with some difficulty, I expressed my wishes to leave his house +and return into the country. + +What, he asked, had occurred to suggest this new plan? What motive could +incite me to bury myself in rustic obscurity? How did I purpose to +dispose of myself? Had some new friend sprung up more able or more +willing to benefit me than he had been? + +"No," I answered, "I have no relation who would own me, or friend who +would protect. If I went into the country it would be to the toilsome +occupations of a day-labourer; but even that was better than my present +situation." + +This opinion, he observed, must be newly formed. What was there irksome +or offensive in my present mode of life? + +That this man condescended to expostulate with me; to dissuade me from +my new plan; and to enumerate the benefits which he was willing to +confer, penetrated my heart with gratitude. I could not but acknowledge +that leisure and literature, copious and elegant accommodation, were +valuable for their own sake; that all the delights of sensation and +refinements of intelligence were comprised within my present sphere, and +would be nearly wanting in that to which I was going. I felt temporary +compunction for my folly, and determined to adopt a different +deportment. I could not prevail upon myself to unfold the true cause of +my dejection, and permitted him therefore to ascribe it to a kind of +homesickness; to inexperience; and to that ignorance which, on being +ushered into a new scene, is oppressed with a sensation of forlornness. +He remarked that these chimeras would vanish before the influence of +time, and company, and occupation. On the next week he would furnish me +with employment; meanwhile he would introduce me into company, where +intelligence and vivacity would combine to dispel my glooms. + +As soon as we separated, my disquietudes returned. I contended with them +in vain, and finally resolved to abandon my present situation. When and +how this purpose was to be effected I knew not. That was to be the theme +of future deliberation. + +Evening having arrived, Welbeck proposed to me to accompany me on a +visit to one of his friends. I cheerfully accepted the invitation, and +went with him to your friend Mr. Wortley's. A numerous party was +assembled, chiefly of the female sex. I was introduced by Welbeck by +the title of _a young friend of his_. Notwithstanding my embarrassment, +I did not fail to attend to what passed on this occasion. I remarked +that the utmost deference was paid to my companion, on whom his entrance +into this company appeared to operate like magic. His eyes sparkled; his +features expanded into a benign serenity; and his wonted reserve gave +place to a torrent-like and overflowing elocution. + +I marked this change in his deportment with the utmost astonishment. So +great was it, that I could hardly persuade myself that it was the same +person. A mind thus susceptible of new impressions must be, I conceived, +of a wonderful texture. Nothing was further from my expectations than +that this vivacity was mere dissimulation and would take its leave of +him when he left the company; yet this I found to be the case. The door +was no sooner closed after him than his accustomed solemnity returned. +He spake little, and that little was delivered with emphatical and +monosyllabic brevity. + +We returned home at a late hour, and I immediately retired to my +chamber, not so much from the desire of repose as in order to enjoy and +pursue my own reflections without interruption. + +The condition of my mind was considerably remote from happiness. I was +placed in a scene that furnished fuel to my curiosity. This passion is a +source of pleasure, provided its gratification be practicable. I had no +reason, in my present circumstances, to despair of knowledge; yet +suspicion and anxiety beset me. I thought upon the delay and toil which +the removal of my ignorance would cost, and reaped only pain and fear +from the reflection. + +The air was remarkably sultry. Lifted sashes and lofty ceilings were +insufficient to attemper it. The perturbation of my thoughts affected my +body, and the heat which oppressed me was aggravated, by my +restlessness, almost into fever. Some hours were thus painfully past, +when I recollected that the bath, erected in the court below, contained +a sufficient antidote to the scorching influence of the atmosphere. + +I rose, and descended the stairs softly, that I might not alarm Welbeck +and the lady, who occupied the two rooms on the second floor. I +proceeded to the bath, and, filling the reservoir with water, speedily +dissipated the heat that incommoded me. Of all species of sensual +gratification, that was the most delicious; and I continued for a long +time laving my limbs and moistening my hair. In the midst of this +amusement, I noticed the approach of day, and immediately saw the +propriety of returning to my chamber. I returned with the same caution +which I had used in descending; my feet were bare, so that it was easy +to proceed unattended by the smallest signal of my progress. + +I had reached the carpeted staircase, and was slowly ascending, when I +heard, within the chamber that was occupied by the lady, a noise, as of +some one moving. Though not conscious of having acted improperly, yet I +felt reluctance to be seen. There was no reason to suppose that this +sound was connected with the detection of me in this situation; yet I +acted as if this reason existed, and made haste to pass the door and +gain the second flight of steps. + +I was unable to accomplish my design, when the chamber door slowly +opened, and Welbeck, with a light in his hand, came out. I was abashed +and disconcerted at this interview. He started at seeing me; but, +discovering in an instant who it was, his face assumed an expression in +which shame and anger were powerfully blended. He seemed on the point of +opening his mouth to rebuke me; but, suddenly checking himself, he said, +in a tone of mildness, "How is this? Whence come you?" + +His emotion seemed to communicate itself, with an electrical rapidity, +to my heart. My tongue faltered while I made some answer. I said, "I had +been seeking relief from the heat of the weather, in the bath." He heard +my explanation in silence; and, after a moment's pause, passed into his +own room, and shut himself in. I hastened to my chamber. + +A different observer might have found in these circumstances no food for +his suspicion or his wonder. To me, however, they suggested vague and +tumultuous ideas. + +As I strode across the room I repeated, "This woman is his daughter. +What proof have I of that? He once asserted it; and has frequently +uttered allusions and hints from which no other inference could be +drawn. The chamber from which he came, in an hour devoted to sleep, was +hers. For what end could a visit like this be paid? A parent may visit +his child at all seasons, without a crime. On seeing me, methought his +features indicated more than surprise. A keen interpreter would be apt +to suspect a consciousness of wrong. What if this woman be not his +child! How shall their relationship be ascertained?" + +I was summoned at the customary hour to breakfast. My mind was full of +ideas connected with this incident. I was not endowed with sufficient +firmness to propose the cool and systematic observation of this man's +deportment. I felt as if the state of my mind could not but be evident +to him; and experienced in myself all the confusion which this discovery +was calculated to produce in him. I would have willingly excused myself +from meeting him; but that was impossible. + +At breakfast, after the usual salutations, nothing was said. For a time +I scarcely lifted my eyes from the table. Stealing a glance at Welbeck, +I discovered in his features nothing but his wonted gravity. He appeared +occupied with thoughts that had no relation to last night's adventure. +This encouraged me; and I gradually recovered my composure. Their +inattention to me allowed me occasionally to throw scrutinizing and +comparing glances at the face of each. + +The relationship of parent and child is commonly discovered in the +visage; but the child may resemble either of its parents, yet have no +feature in common with both. Here outlines, surfaces, and hues were in +absolute contrariety. That kindred subsisted between them was possible, +notwithstanding this dissimilitude; but this circumstance contributed to +envenom my suspicions. + +Breakfast being finished, Welbeck cast an eye of invitation to the +piano-forte. The lady rose to comply with his request. My eye chanced +to be, at that moment, fixed on her. In stepping to the instrument, some +motion or appearance awakened a thought in my mind which affected my +feelings like the shock of an earthquake. + +I have too slight acquaintance with the history of the passions to truly +explain the emotion which now throbbed in my veins. I had been a +stranger to what is called love. From subsequent reflection, I have +contracted a suspicion that the sentiment with which I regarded this +lady was not untinctured from this source, and that hence arose the +turbulence of my feelings on observing what I construed into marks of +pregnancy. The evidence afforded me was slight; yet it exercised an +absolute sway over my belief. + +It was well that this suspicion had not been sooner excited. Now +civility did not require my stay in the apartment, and nothing but +flight could conceal the state of my mind. I hastened, therefore, to a +distance, and shrouded myself in the friendly secrecy of my own chamber. + +The constitution of my mind is doubtless singular and perverse; yet that +opinion, perhaps, is the fruit of my ignorance. It may by no means be +uncommon for men to _fashion_ their conclusions in opposition to +evidence and _probability_, and so as to feed their malice and subvert +their happiness. Thus it was, in an eminent degree, in my case. The +simple fact was connected, in my mind, with a train of the most hateful +consequences. The depravity of Welbeck was inferred from it. The charms +of this angelic woman were tarnished and withered. I had formerly +surveyed her as a precious and perfect monument, but now it was a scene +of ruin and blast. + +This had been a source of sufficient anguish; but this was not all. I +recollected that the claims of a parent had been urged. Will you believe +that these claims were now admitted, and that they heightened the +iniquity of Welbeck into the blackest and most stupendous of all crimes? +These ideas were necessarily transient. Conclusions more conformable to +appearances succeeded. This lady might have been lately reduced to +widowhood. The recent loss of a beloved companion would sufficiently +account for her dejection, and make her present situation compatible +with duty. + +By this new train of ideas I was somewhat comforted. I saw the folly of +precipitate inferences and the injustice of my atrocious imputations, +and acquired some degree of patience in my present state of uncertainty. +My heart was lightened of its wonted burden, and I laboured to invent +some harmless explication of the scene that I had witnessed the +preceding night. + +At dinner Welbeck appeared as usual, but not the lady. I ascribed her +absence to some casual indisposition, and ventured to inquire into the +state of her health. My companion said she was well, but that she had +left the city for a month or two, finding the heat of summer +inconvenient where she was. This was no unplausible reason for +retirement. A candid mind would have acquiesced in this representation, +and found in it nothing inconsistent with a supposition respecting the +cause of appearances favourable to her character; but otherwise was I +affected. The uneasiness which had flown for a moment returned, and I +sunk into gloomy silence. + +From this I was roused by my patron, who requested me to deliver a +billet, which he put into my hand, at the counting-house of Mr. +Thetford, and to bring him an answer. This message was speedily +performed. I entered a large building by the river-side. A spacious +apartment presented itself, well furnished with pipes and hogsheads. In +one corner was a smaller room, in which a gentleman was busy at writing. +I advanced to the door of the room, but was there met by a young person, +who received my paper and delivered it to him within. I stood still at +the door; but was near enough to overhear what would pass between them. + +The letter was laid upon the desk, and presently he that sat at it +lifted his eyes and glanced at the superscription. He scarcely spoke +above a whisper; but his words, nevertheless, were clearly +distinguishable. I did not call to mind the sound of his voice, but his +words called up a train of recollections. + +"Lo!" said he, carelessly, "this from the _Nabob_!" + +An incident so slight as this was sufficient to open a spacious scene +of meditation. This little word, half whispered in a thoughtless mood, +was a key to unlock an extensive cabinet of secrets. Thetford was +probably indifferent whether his exclamation were overheard. Little did +he think on the inferences which would be built upon it. + +"The Nabob!" By this appellation had some one been denoted in the +chamber dialogue of which I had been an unsuspected auditor. The man who +pretended poverty, and yet gave proofs of inordinate wealth; whom it was +pardonable to defraud of thirty thousand dollars; first, because the +loss of that sum would be trivial to one opulent as he; and, secondly, +because he was imagined to have acquired this opulence by other than +honest methods. Instead of forthwith returning home, I wandered into the +fields, to indulge myself in the new thoughts which were produced by +this occurrence. + +I entertained no doubt that the person alluded to was my patron. No new +light was thrown upon his character; unless something were deducible +from the charge vaguely made, that his wealth was the fruit of illicit +practices. He was opulent, and the sources of his wealth were unknown, +if not to the rest of the community, at least to Thetford. But here had +a plot been laid. The fortune of Thetford's brother was to rise from the +success of artifices of which the credulity of Welbeck was to be the +victim. To detect and to counterwork this plot was obviously my duty. My +interference might now indeed be too late to be useful; but this was at +least to be ascertained by experiment. + +How should my intention be effected? I had hitherto concealed from +Welbeck my adventures at Thetford's house. These it was now necessary to +disclose, and to mention the recent occurrence. My deductions, in +consequence of my ignorance, might be erroneous; but of their truth his +knowledge of his own affairs would enable him to judge. It was possible +that Thetford and he whose chamber conversation I had overheard were +different persons. I endeavoured in vain to ascertain their identity by +a comparison of their voices. The words lately heard, my remembrance +did not enable me certainly to pronounce to be uttered by the same +organs. + +This uncertainty was of little moment. It sufficed that Welbeck was +designated by this appellation, and that therefore he was proved to be +the subject of some fraudulent proceeding. The information that I +possessed it was my duty to communicate as expeditiously as possible. I +was resolved to employ the first opportunity that offered for this end. + +My meditations had been ardently pursued, and, when I recalled my +attention, I found myself bewildered among fields and fences. It was +late before I extricated myself from unknown paths, and reached home. + +I entered the parlour; but Welbeck was not there. A table, with +tea-equipage for one person, was set; from which I inferred that Welbeck +was engaged abroad. This belief was confirmed by the report of the +servant. He could not inform me where his master was, but merely that he +should not take tea at home. This incident was a source of vexation and +impatience. I knew not but that delay would be of the utmost moment to +the safety of my friend. Wholly unacquainted as I was with the nature of +his contracts with Thetford, I could not decide whether a single hour +would not avail to obviate the evils that threatened him. Had I known +whither to trace his footsteps, I should certainly have sought an +immediate interview; but, as it was, I was obliged to wait, with what +patience I could collect, for his return to his own house. + +I waited hour after hour in vain. The sun declined, and the shades of +evening descended; but Welbeck was still at a distance. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + + +Welbeck did not return, though hour succeeded hour till the clock struck +ten. I inquired of the servants, who informed me that their master was +not accustomed to stay out so late. I seated myself at a table, in a +parlour, on which there stood a light, and listened for the signal of +his coming, either by the sound of steps on the pavement without or by a +peal from the bell. The silence was uninterrupted and profound, and each +minute added to my sum of impatience and anxiety. + +To relieve myself from the heat of the weather, which was aggravated by +the condition of my thoughts, as well as to beguile this tormenting +interval, it occurred to me to betake myself to the bath. I left the +candle where it stood, and imagined that even in the bath I should hear +the sound of the bell which would be rung upon his arrival at the door. + +No such signal occurred, and, after taking this refreshment, I prepared +to return to my post. The parlour was still unoccupied, but this was not +all; the candle I had left upon the table was gone. This was an +inexplicable circumstance. On my promise to wait for their master, the +servants had retired to bed. No signal of any one's entrance had been +given. The street door was locked, and the key hung at its customary +place upon the wall. What was I to think? It was obvious to suppose that +the candle had been removed by a domestic; but their footsteps could not +be traced, and I was not sufficiently acquainted with the house to find +the way, especially immersed in darkness, to their chamber. One measure, +however, it was evidently proper to take, which was to supply myself, +anew, with a light. This was instantly performed; but what was next to +be done? + +I was weary of the perplexities in which I was embroiled. I saw no +avenue to escape from them but that which led me to the bosom of nature +and to my ancient occupations. For a moment I was tempted to resume my +rustic garb, and, on that very hour, to desert this habitation. One +thing only detained me; the desire to apprize my patron of the treachery +of Thetford. For this end I was anxious to obtain an interview; but now +I reflected that this information could by other means be imparted. Was +it not sufficient to write him briefly these particulars, and leave him +to profit by the knowledge? Thus I might, likewise, acquaint him with my +motives for thus abruptly and unseasonably deserting his service. + +To the execution of this scheme pen and paper were necessary. The +business of writing was performed in the chamber on the third story. I +had been hitherto denied access to this room. In it was a show of papers +and books. Here it was that the task, for which I had been retained, was +to be performed; but I was to enter it and leave it only in company with +Welbeck. For what reasons, I asked, was this procedure to be adopted? + +The influence of prohibitions and an appearance of disguise in awakening +curiosity is well known. My mind fastened upon the idea of this room +with an unusual degree of intenseness. I had seen it but for a moment. +Many of Welbeck's hours were spent in it. It was not to be inferred that +they were consumed in idleness: what then was the nature of his +employment over which a veil of such impenetrable secrecy was cast? + +Will you wonder that the design of entering this recess was insensibly +formed? Possibly it was locked, but its accessibleness was likewise +possible. I meant not the commission of any crime. My principal purpose +was to procure the implements of writing, which were elsewhere not to be +found. I should neither unseal papers nor open drawers. I would merely +take a survey of the volumes and attend to the objects that +spontaneously presented themselves to my view. In this there surely was +nothing criminal or blameworthy. Meanwhile I was not unmindful of the +sudden disappearance of the candle. This incident filled my bosom with +the inquietudes of fear and the perturbations of wonder. + +Once more I paused to catch any sound that might arise from without. All +was still. I seized the candle and prepared to mount the stairs. I had +not reached the first landing when I called to mind my midnight meeting +with Welbeck at the door of his daughter's chamber. The chamber was now +desolate; perhaps it was accessible; if so, no injury was done by +entering it. My curiosity was strong, but it pictured to itself no +precise object. Three steps would bear me to the door. The trial, +whether it was fastened, might be made in a moment; and I readily +imagined that something might be found within to reward the trouble of +examination. The door yielded to my hand, and I entered. + +No remarkable object was discoverable. The apartment was supplied with +the usual furniture. I bent my steps towards a table over which a mirror +was suspended. My glances, which roved with swiftness from one object to +another, shortly lighted on a miniature portrait that hung near. I +scrutinized it with eagerness. It was impossible to overlook its +resemblance to my own visage. This was so great that for a moment I +imagined myself to have been the original from which it had been drawn. +This flattering conception yielded place to a belief merely of +similitude between me and the genuine original. + +The thoughts which this opinion was fitted to produce were suspended by +a new object. A small volume, that had, apparently, been much used, lay +upon the toilet. I opened it, and found it to contain some of the Dramas +of Apostolo Zeno. I turned over the leaves; a written paper saluted my +sight. A single glance informed me that it was English. For the present +I was insensible to all motives that would command me to forbear. I +seized the paper with an intention to peruse it. + +At that moment a stunning report was heard. It was loud enough to shake +the walls of the apartment, and abrupt enough to throw me into tremors. +I dropped the book and yielded for a moment to confusion and surprise. +From what quarter it came, I was unable accurately to determine; but +there could be no doubt, from its loudness, that it was near, and even +in the house. It was no less manifest that the sound arose from the +discharge of a pistol. Some hand must have drawn the trigger. I +recollected the disappearance of the candle from the room below. +Instantly a supposition darted into my mind which made my hair rise and +my teeth chatter. + +"This," I said, "is the deed of Welbeck. He entered while I was absent +from the room; he hied to his chamber; and, prompted by some unknown +instigation, has inflicted on himself death!" This idea had a tendency +to palsy my limbs and my thoughts. Some time passed in painful and +tumultuous fluctuation. My aversion to this catastrophe, rather than a +belief of being, by that means, able to prevent or repair the evil, +induced me to attempt to enter his chamber. It was possible that my +conjectures were erroneous. + +The door of his room was locked. I knocked; I demanded entrance in a low +voice; I put my eye and my ear to the keyhole and the crevices; nothing +could be heard or seen. It was unavoidable to conclude that no one was +within; yet the effluvia of gunpowder was perceptible. + +Perhaps the room above had been the scene of this catastrophe. I +ascended the second flight of stairs. I approached the door. No sound +could be caught by my most vigilant attention. I put out the light that +I carried, and was then able to perceive that there was light within the +room. I scarcely knew how to act. For some minutes I paused at the door. +I spoke, and requested permission to enter. My words were succeeded by a +death-like stillness. At length I ventured softly to withdraw the bolt, +to open and to advance within the room. Nothing could exceed the horror +of my expectation; yet I was startled by the scene that I beheld. + +In a chair, whose back was placed against the front wall, sat Welbeck. +My entrance alarmed him not, nor roused him from the stupor into which +he was plunged. He rested his hands upon his knees, and his eyes were +riveted to something that lay, at the distance of a few feet before +him, on the floor. A second glance was sufficient to inform me of what +nature this object was. It was the body of a man, bleeding, ghastly, and +still exhibiting the marks of convulsion and agony! + +I shall omit to describe the shock which a spectacle like this +communicated to my unpractised senses. I was nearly as panic-struck and +powerless as Welbeck himself. I gazed, without power of speech, at one +time, at Welbeck; then I fixed terrified eyes on the distorted features +of the dead. At length, Welbeck, recovering from his reverie, looked up, +as if to see who it was that had entered. No surprise, no alarm, was +betrayed by him on seeing me. He manifested no desire or intention to +interrupt the fearful silence. + +My thoughts wandered in confusion and terror. The first impulse was to +fly from the scene; but I could not be long insensible to the exigences +of the moment. I saw that affairs must not be suffered to remain in +their present situation. The insensibility or despair of Welbeck +required consolation and succour. How to communicate my thoughts, or +offer my assistance, I knew not. What led to this murderous catastrophe; +who it was whose breathless corpse was before me; what concern Welbeck +had in producing his death; were as yet unknown. + +At length he rose from his seat, and strode at first with faltering, and +then with more steadfast steps, across the floor. This motion seemed to +put him in possession of himself. He seemed now, for the first time, to +recognise my presence. He turned to me, and said, in a tone of +severity,-- + +"How now? What brings you here?" + +This rebuke was unexpected. I stammered out, in reply, that the report +of the pistol had alarmed me, and that I came to discover the cause of +it. + +He noticed not my answer, but resumed his perturbed steps, and his +anxious but abstracted looks. Suddenly he checked himself, and, glancing +a furious eye at the corpse, he muttered, "Yes, the die is cast. This +worthless and miserable scene shall last no longer. I will at once get +rid of life and all its humiliations." + +Here succeeded a new pause. The course of his thoughts seemed now to +become once more tranquil. Sadness, rather than fury, overspread his +features; and his accent, when he spoke to me, was not faltering, but +solemn. + +"Mervyn," said he, "you comprehend not this scene. Your youth and +inexperience make you a stranger to a deceitful and flagitious world. +You know me not. It is time that this ignorance should vanish. The +knowledge of me and of my actions may be of use to you. It may teach you +to avoid the shoals on which my virtue and my peace have been wrecked; +but to the rest of mankind it can be of no use. The ruin of my fame is, +perhaps, irretrievable; but the height of my iniquity need not be known. +I perceive in you a rectitude and firmness worthy to be trusted; promise +me, therefore, that not a syllable of what I tell you shall ever pass +your lips." + +I had lately experienced the inconvenience of a promise; but I was now +confused, embarrassed, ardently inquisitive as to the nature of this +scene, and unapprized of the motives that might afterwards occur, +persuading or compelling me to disclosure. The promise which he exacted +was given. He resumed:-- + +"I have detained you in my service, partly for your own benefit, but +chiefly for mine. I intended to inflict upon you injury and to do you +good. Neither of these ends can I now accomplish, unless the lessons +which my example may inculcate shall inspire you with fortitude and arm +you with caution. + +"What it was that made me thus, I know not. I am not destitute of +understanding. My thirst of knowledge, though irregular, is ardent. I +can talk and can feel as virtue and justice prescribe; yet the tenor of +my actions has been uniform. One tissue of iniquity and folly has been +my life; while my thoughts have been familiar with enlightened and +disinterested principles. Scorn and detestation I have heaped upon +myself. Yesterday is remembered with remorse. To-morrow is contemplated +with anguish and fear; yet every day is productive of the same crimes +and of the same follies. + +"I was left, by the insolvency of my father, (a trader of Liverpool,) +without any means of support but such as labour should afford me. +Whatever could generate pride, and the love of independence, was my +portion. Whatever can incite to diligence was the growth of my +condition; yet my indolence was a cureless disease; and there were no +arts too sordid for me to practise. + +"I was content to live on the bounty of a kinsman. His family was +numerous, and his revenue small. He forbore to upbraid me, or even to +insinuate the propriety of providing for myself; but he empowered me to +pursue any liberal or mechanical profession which might suit my taste. I +was insensible to every generous motive. I laboured to forget my +dependent and disgraceful condition, because the remembrance was a +source of anguish, without being able to inspire me with a steady +resolution to change it. + +"I contracted an acquaintance with a woman who was unchaste, perverse, +and malignant. Me, however, she found it no difficult task to deceive. +My uncle remonstrated against the union. He took infinite pains to +unveil my error, and to convince me that wedlock was improper for one +destitute, as I was, of the means of support, even if the object of my +choice were personally unexceptionable. + +"His representations were listened to with anger. That he thwarted my +will in this respect, even by affectionate expostulation, cancelled all +that debt of gratitude which I owed to him. I rewarded him for all his +kindness by invective and disdain, and hastened to complete my +ill-omened marriage. I had deceived the woman's father by assertions of +possessing secret resources. To gratify my passion, I descended to +dissimulation and falsehood. He admitted me into his family, as the +husband of his child; but the character of my wife and the fallacy of my +assertions were quickly discovered. He denied me accommodation under his +roof, and I was turned forth to the world to endure the penalty of my +rashness and my indolence. + +"Temptation would have moulded me into any villanous shape. My virtuous +theories and comprehensive erudition would not have saved me from the +basest of crimes. Luckily for me, I was, for the present, exempted from +temptation. I had formed an acquaintance with a young American captain. +On being partially informed of my situation, he invited me to embark +with him for his own country. My passage was gratuitous. I arrived, in a +short time, at Charleston, which was the place of his abode. + +"He introduced me to his family, every member of which was, like +himself, imbued with affection and benevolence. I was treated like their +son and brother. I was hospitably entertained until I should be able to +select some path of lucrative industry. Such was my incurable depravity, +that I made no haste to select my pursuit. An interval of inoccupation +succeeded, which I applied to the worst purposes. + +"My friend had a sister, who was married, but during the absence of her +husband resided with her family. Hence originated our acquaintance. The +purest of human hearts and the most vigorous understanding were hers. +She idolized her husband, who well deserved to be the object of her +adoration. Her affection for him, and her general principles, appeared +to be confirmed beyond the power to be shaken. I sought her intercourse +without illicit views; I delighted in the effusions of her candour and +the flashes of her intelligence; I conformed, by a kind of instinctive +hypocrisy, to her views; I spoke and felt from the influence of +immediate and momentary conviction. She imagined she had found in me a +friend worthy to partake in all her sympathies and forward all her +wishes. We were mutually deceived. She was the victim of self-delusion; +but I must charge myself with practising deceit both upon myself and +her. + +"I reflect with astonishment and horror on the steps which led to her +degradation and to my calamity. In the high career of passion all +consequences were overlooked. She was the dupe of the most audacious +sophistry and the grossest delusion. I was the slave of sensual impulses +and voluntary blindness. The effect may be easily conceived. Not till +symptoms of pregnancy began to appear were our eyes opened to the ruin +which impended over us. + +"Then I began to revolve the consequences, which the mist of passion had +hitherto concealed. I was tormented by the pangs of remorse, and pursued +by the phantom of ingratitude. To complete my despair, this unfortunate +lady was apprized of my marriage with another woman; a circumstance +which I had anxiously concealed from her. She fled from her father's +house at a time when her husband and brother were hourly expected. What +became of her I knew not. She left behind her a letter to her father, in +which the melancholy truth was told. + +"Shame and remorse had no power over my life. To elude the storm of +invective and upbraiding, to quiet the uproar of my mind, I did not +betake myself to voluntary death. My pusillanimity still clung to this +wretched existence. I abruptly retired from the scene, and, repairing to +the port, embarked in the first vessel which appeared. The ship chanced +to belong to Wilmington, in Delaware, and here I sought out an obscure +and cheap abode. + +"I possessed no means of subsistence. I was unknown to my neighbours, +and desired to remain unknown. I was unqualified for manual labour by +all the habits of my life; but there was no choice between penury and +diligence,--between honest labour and criminal inactivity. I mused +incessantly on the forlornness of my condition. Hour after hour passed, +and the horrors of want began to encompass me. I sought with eagerness +for an avenue by which I might escape from it. The perverseness of my +nature led me on from one guilty thought to another. I took refuge in my +customary sophistries, and reconciled myself at length to a scheme +of--_forgery_!" + + + + +CHAPTER X. + + +"Having ascertained my purpose, it was requisite to search out the means +by which I might effect it. These were not clearly or readily suggested. +The more I contemplated my project, the more numerous and arduous its +difficulties appeared. I had no associates in my undertaking. A due +regard to my safety, and the unextinguished sense of honour, deterred me +from seeking auxiliaries and co-agents. The esteem of mankind was the +spring of all my activity, the parent of all my virtue and all my vice. +To preserve this, it was necessary that my guilty projects should have +neither witness nor partaker. + +"I quickly discovered that to execute this scheme demanded time, +application, and money, none of which my present situation would permit +me to devote to it. At first it appeared that an attainable degree of +skill and circumspection would enable me to arrive, by means of +counterfeit bills, to the pinnacle of affluence and honour. My error was +detected by a closer scrutiny, and I finally saw nothing in this path +but enormous perils and insurmountable impediments. + +"Yet what alternative was offered me? To maintain myself by the labour +of my hands, to perform any toilsome or prescribed task, was +incompatible with my nature. My habits debarred me from country +occupations. My pride regarded as vile and ignominious drudgery any +employment which the town could afford. Meanwhile, my wants were as +urgent as ever, and my funds were exhausted. + +"There are few, perhaps, whose external situation resembled mine, who +would have found in it any thing but incitements to industry and +invention. A thousand methods of subsistence, honest but laborious, +were at my command, but to these I entertained an irreconcilable +aversion. Ease and the respect attendant upon opulence I was willing to +purchase at the price of ever-wakeful suspicion and eternal remorse; +but, even at this price, the purchase was impossible. + +"The desperateness of my condition became hourly more apparent. The +further I extended my view, the darker grew the clouds which hung over +futurity. Anguish and infamy appeared to be the inseparable conditions +of my existence. There was one mode of evading the evils that impended. +To free myself from self-upbraiding and to shun the persecutions of my +fortune was possible only by shaking off life itself. + +"One evening, as I traversed the bank of the creek, these dismal +meditations were uncommonly intense. They at length terminated in a +resolution to throw myself into the stream. The first impulse was to +rush instantly to my death; but the remembrance of papers, lying at my +lodgings, which might unfold more than I desired to the curiosity of +survivors, induced me to postpone this catastrophe till the next +morning. + +"My purpose being formed, I found my heart lightened of its usual +weight. By you it will be thought strange, but it is nevertheless true, +that I derived from this new prospect not only tranquillity but +cheerfulness. I hastened home. As soon as I entered, my landlord +informed me that a person had been searching for me in my absence. This +was an unexampled incident, and foreboded me no good. I was strongly +persuaded that my visitant had been led hither not by friendly but +hostile purposes. This persuasion was confirmed by the description of +the stranger's guise and demeanour given by my landlord. My fears +instantly recognised the image of Watson, the man by whom I had been so +eminently benefited, and whose kindness I had compensated by the ruin of +his sister and the confusion of his family. + +"An interview with this man was less to be endured than to look upon the +face of an avenging deity. I was determined to avoid this interview, +and, for this end, to execute my fatal purpose within the hour. My +papers were collected with a tremulous hand, and consigned to the +flames. I then bade my landlord inform all visitants that I should not +return till the next day, and once more hastened towards the river. + +"My way led past the inn where one of the stages from Baltimore was +accustomed to stop. I was not unaware that Watson had possibly been +brought in the coach which had recently arrived, and which now stood +before the door of the inn. The danger of my being descried or +encountered by him as I passed did not fail to occur. This was to be +eluded by deviating from the main street. + +"Scarcely had I turned a corner for this purpose when I was accosted by +a young man whom I knew to be an inhabitant of the town, but with whom I +had hitherto had no intercourse but what consisted in a transient +salutation. He apologized for the liberty of addressing me, and, at the +same time, inquired if I understood the French language. + +"Being answered in the affirmative, he proceeded to tell me that in the +stage, just arrived, had come a passenger, a youth who appeared to be +French, who was wholly unacquainted with our language, and who had been +seized with a violent disease. + +"My informant had felt compassion for the forlorn condition of the +stranger, and had just been seeking me at my lodgings, in hope that my +knowledge of French would enable me to converse with the sick man, and +obtain from him a knowledge of his situation and views. + +"The apprehensions I had precipitately formed were thus removed, and I +readily consented to perform this service. The youth was, indeed, in a +deplorable condition. Besides the pains of his disease, he was +overpowered by dejection. The innkeeper was extremely anxious for the +removal of his guest. He was by no means willing to sustain the trouble +and expense of a sick or a dying man, for which it was scarcely probable +that he should ever be reimbursed. The traveller had no baggage, and his +dress betokened the pressure of many wants. + +"My compassion for this stranger was powerfully awakened. I was in +possession of a suitable apartment, for which I had no power to pay the +rent that was accruing; but my inability in this respect was unknown, +and I might enjoy my lodgings unmolested for some weeks. The fate of +this youth would be speedily decided, and I should be left at liberty to +execute my first intentions before my embarrassments should be visibly +increased. + +"After a moment's pause, I conducted the stranger to my home, placed him +in my own bed, and became his nurse. His malady was such as is known in +the tropical islands by the name of the yellow or malignant fever, and +the physician who was called speedily pronounced his case desperate. + +"It was my duty to warn him of the death that was hastening, and to +promise the fulfilment of any of his wishes not inconsistent with my +present situation. He received my intelligence with fortitude, and +appeared anxious to communicate some information respecting his own +state. His pangs and his weakness scarcely allowed him to be +intelligible. From his feeble efforts and broken narrative I collected +thus much concerning his family and fortune. + +"His father's name was Vincentio Lodi. From a merchant at Leghorn, he +had changed himself into a planter in the island of Guadaloupe. His son +had been sent, at an early age, for the benefits of education, to +Europe. The young Vincentio was, at length, informed by his father, +that, being weary of his present mode of existence, he had determined to +sell his property and transport himself to the United States. The son +was directed to hasten home, that he might embark, with his father, on +this voyage. + +"The summons was cheerfully obeyed. The youth, on his arrival at the +island, found preparation making for the funeral of his father. It +appeared that the elder Lodi had flattered one of his slaves with the +prospect of his freedom, but had, nevertheless, included this slave in +the sale that he had made of his estate. Actuated by revenge, the slave +assassinated Lodi in the open street, and resigned himself, without a +struggle, to the punishment which the law had provided for such a deed. + +"The property had been recently transferred, and the price was now +presented to young Vincentio by the purchaser. He was by no means +inclined to adopt his father's project, and was impatient to return with +his inheritance to France. Before this could be done, the conduct of his +father had rendered a voyage to the Continent indispensable. + +"Lodi had a daughter, whom, a few weeks previous to his death, he had +intrusted to an American captain for whom he had contracted a +friendship. The vessel was bound to Philadelphia; but the conduct she +was to pursue, and the abode she was to select, on her arrival, were +known only to the father, whose untimely death involved the son in +considerable uncertainty with regard to his sister's fate. His anxiety +on this account induced him to seize the first conveyance that offered. +In a short time he landed at Baltimore. + +"As soon as he recovered from the fatigues of his voyage, he prepared to +go to Philadelphia. Thither his baggage was immediately sent under the +protection of a passenger and countryman. His money consisted in +Portuguese gold, which, in pursuance of advice, he had changed into +bank-notes. He besought me, in pathetic terms, to search out his sister, +whose youth and poverty, and ignorance of the language and manners of +the country, might expose her to innumerable hardships. At the same +time, he put a pocket-book and small volume into my hand, indicating, by +his countenance and gestures, his desire that I would deliver them to +his sister. + +"His obsequies being decently performed, I had leisure to reflect upon +the change in my condition which this incident had produced. In the +pocket-book were found bills to the amount of twenty thousand dollars. +The volume proved to be a manuscript, written by the elder Lodi in +Italian, and contained memoirs of the ducal house of Visconti, from whom +the writer believed himself to have lineally descended. + +"Thus had I arrived, by an avenue so much beyond my foresight, at the +possession of wealth. The evil which impelled me to the brink of +suicide, and which was the source, though not of all, yet of the larger +portion, of my anguish, was now removed. What claims to honour or to +ease were consequent on riches were, by an extraordinary fortune, now +conferred upon me. + +"Such, for a time, were my new-born but transitory raptures. I forgot +that this money was not mine. That it had been received, under every +sanction of fidelity, for another's use. To retain it was equivalent to +robbery. The sister of the deceased was the rightful claimant; it was my +duty to search her out, and perform my tacit but sacred obligations, by +putting the whole into her possession. + +"This conclusion was too adverse to my wishes not to be strenuously +combated. I asked what it was that gave man the power of ascertaining +the successor to his property. During his life, he might transfer the +actual possession; but, if vacant at his death, he into whose hands +accident should cast it was the genuine proprietor. It is true, that the +law had sometimes otherwise decreed, but in law there was no validity +further than it was able, by investigation and punishment, to enforce +its decrees: but would the law extort this money from me? + +"It was rather by gesture than by words that the will of Lodi was +imparted. It was the topic of remote inferences and vague conjecture +rather than of explicit and unerring declarations. Besides, if the lady +were found, would not prudence dictate the reservation of her fortune to +be administered by me, for her benefit? Of this her age and education +had disqualified herself. It was sufficient for the maintenance of both. +She would regard me as her benefactor and protector. By supplying all +her wants and watching over her safety without apprizing her of the +means by which I shall be enabled to do this, I shall lay irresistible +claims to her love and her gratitude. + +"Such were the sophistries by which reason was seduced and my integrity +annihilated. I hastened away from my present abode. I easily traced the +baggage of the deceased to an inn, and gained possession of it. It +contained nothing but clothes and books. I then instituted the most +diligent search after the young lady. For a time, my exertions were +fruitless. + +"Meanwhile, the possessor of this house thought proper to embark with +his family for Europe. The sum which he demanded for his furniture, +though enormous, was precipitately paid by me. His servants were +continued in their former stations, and in the day at which he +relinquished the mansion, I entered on possession. + +"There was no difficulty in persuading the world that Welbeck was a +personage of opulence and rank. My birth and previous adventures it was +proper to conceal. The facility with which mankind are misled in their +estimate of characters, their proneness to multiply inferences and +conjectures, will not be readily conceived by one destitute of my +experience. My sudden appearance on the stage, my stately reserve, my +splendid habitation, and my circumspect deportment, were sufficient to +entitle me to homage. The artifices that were used to unveil the truth, +and the guesses that were current respecting me, were adapted to gratify +my ruling passion. + +"I did not remit my diligence to discover the retreat of Mademoiselle +Lodi. I found her, at length, in the family of a kinsman of the captain +under whose care she had come to America. Her situation was irksome and +perilous. She had already experienced the evils of being protectorless +and indigent, and my seasonable interference snatched her from impending +and less supportable ills. + +"I could safely unfold all that I knew of her brother's history, except +the legacy which he had left. I ascribed the diligence with which I had +sought her to his death-bed injunctions, and prevailed upon her to +accept from me the treatment which she would have received from her +brother if he had continued to live, and if his power to benefit had +been equal to my own. + +"Though less can be said in praise of the understanding than of the +sensibilities of this woman, she is one whom no one could refrain from +loving, though placed in situations far less favourable to the +generation of that sentiment than mine. In habits of domestic and +incessant intercourse, in the perpetual contemplation of features +animated by boundless gratitude and ineffable sympathies, it could not +be expected that either she or I should escape enchantment. + +"The poison was too sweet not to be swallowed with avidity by me. Too +late I remembered that I was already enslaved by inextricable +obligations. It was easy to have hidden this impediment from the eyes of +my companion, but here my integrity refused to yield. I can, indeed, lay +claim to little merit on account of this forbearance. If there had been +no alternative between deceit and the frustration of my hopes, I should +doubtless have dissembled the truth with as little scruple on this as on +a different occasion; but I could not be blind to the weakness of her +with whom I had to contend. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + + +"Meanwhile large deductions had been made from my stock of money, and +the remnant would be speedily consumed by my present mode of life. My +expenses far exceeded my previous expectations. In no long time I should +be reduced to my ancient poverty, which the luxurious existence that I +now enjoyed, and the regard due to my beloved and helpless companion, +would render more irksome than ever. Some scheme to rescue me from this +fate was indispensable; but my aversion to labour, to any pursuit the +end of which was merely gain, and which would require application and +attention, continued undiminished. + +"I was plunged anew into dejection and perplexity. From this I was +somewhat relieved by a plan suggested by Mr. Thetford. I thought I had +experience of his knowledge and integrity, and the scheme that he +proposed seemed liable to no possibility of miscarriage. A ship was to +be purchased, supplied with a suitable cargo, and despatched to a port +in the West Indies. Loss from storms and enemies was to be precluded by +insurance. Every hazard was to be enumerated, and the ship and cargo +valued at the highest rate. Should the voyage be safely performed, the +profits would be double the original expense. Should the ship be taken +or wrecked, the insurers would have bound themselves to make ample, +speedy, and certain indemnification. Thetford's brother, a wary and +experienced trader, was to be the supercargo. + +"All my money was laid out upon this scheme. Scarcely enough was +reserved to supply domestic and personal wants. Large debts were +likewise incurred. Our caution had, as we conceived, annihilated every +chance of failure. Too much could not be expended on a project so +infallible; and the vessel, amply fitted and freighted, departed on her +voyage. + +"An interval, not devoid of suspense and anxiety, succeeded. My +mercantile inexperience made me distrust the clearness of my own +discernment, and I could not but remember that my utter and +irretrievable destruction was connected with the failure of my scheme. +Time added to my distrust and apprehensions. The time at which tidings +of the ship were to be expected elapsed without affording any +information of her destiny. My anxieties, however, were to be carefully +hidden from the world. I had taught mankind to believe that this project +had been adopted more for amusement than gain; and the debts which I had +contracted seemed to arise from willingness to adhere to established +maxims, more than from the pressure of necessity. + +"Month succeeded month, and intelligence was still withheld. The notes +which I had given for one-third of the cargo, and for the premium of +insurance, would shortly become due. For the payment of the former, and +the cancelling of the latter, I had relied upon the expeditious return +or the demonstrated loss of the vessel. Neither of these events had +taken place. + +"My cares were augmented from another quarter. My companion's situation +now appeared to be such as, if our intercourse had been sanctified by +wedlock, would have been regarded with delight. As it was, no symptoms +were equally to be deplored. Consequences, as long as they were involved +in uncertainty, were extenuated or overlooked; but now, when they became +apparent and inevitable, were fertile of distress and upbraiding. + +"Indefinable fears, and a desire to monopolize all the meditations and +affections of this being, had induced me to perpetuate her ignorance of +any but her native language, and debar her from all intercourse with the +world. My friends were of course inquisitive respecting her character, +adventures, and particularly her relation to me. The consciousness how +much the truth redounded to my dishonour made me solicitous to lead +conjecture astray. For this purpose I did not discountenance the +conclusion that was adopted by some,--that she was my daughter. I +reflected that all dangerous surmises would be effectually precluded by +this belief. + +"These precautions afforded me some consolation in my present +difficulties. It was requisite to conceal the lady's condition from the +world. If this should be ineffectual, it would not be difficult to +divert suspicion from my person. The secrecy that I had practised would +be justified, in the apprehension of those to whom the personal +condition of Clemenza should be disclosed, by the feelings of a father. + +"Meanwhile, it was an obvious expedient to remove the unhappy lady to a +distance from impertinent observers. A rural retreat, lonely and +sequestered, was easily procured, and hither she consented to repair. +This arrangement being concerted, I had leisure to reflect upon the +evils which every hour brought nearer, and which threatened to +exterminate me. + +"My inquietudes forbade me to sleep, and I was accustomed to rise before +day and seek some respite in the fields. Returning from one of these +unseasonable rambles, I chanced to meet you. Your resemblance to the +deceased Lodi, in person and visage, is remarkable. When you first met +my eye, this similitude startled me. Your subsequent appeal to my +compassion was clothed in such terms as formed a powerful contrast with +your dress, and prepossessed me greatly in favour of your education and +capacity. + +"In my present hopeless condition, every incident, however trivial, was +attentively considered, with a view to extract from it some means of +escaping from my difficulties. My love for the Italian girl, in spite of +all my efforts to keep it alive, had begun to languish. Marriage was +impossible; and had now, in some degree, ceased to be desirable. We are +apt to judge of others by ourselves. The passion I now found myself +disposed to ascribe chiefly to fortuitous circumstances; to the impulse +of gratitude, and the exclusion of competitors; and believed that your +resemblance to her brother, your age and personal accomplishments, +might, after a certain time, and in consequence of suitable +contrivances on my part, give a new direction to her feelings. To gain +your concurrence, I relied upon your simplicity, your gratitude, and +your susceptibility to the charms of this bewitching creature. + +"I contemplated, likewise, another end. Mrs. Wentworth is rich. A youth +who was once her favourite, and designed to inherit her fortunes, has +disappeared, for some years, from the scene. His death is most probable, +but of that there is no satisfactory information. The life of this +person, whose name is Clavering, is an obstacle to some designs which +had occurred to me in relation to this woman. My purposes were crude and +scarcely formed. I need not swell the catalogue of my errors by +expatiating upon them. Suffice it to say that the peculiar circumstances +of your introduction to me led me to reflections on the use that might +be made of your agency, in procuring this lady's acquiescence in my +schemes. You were to be ultimately persuaded to confirm her in the +belief that her nephew was dead. To this consummation it was +indispensable to lead you by slow degrees and circuitous paths. +Meanwhile, a profound silence, with regard to your genuine history, was +to be observed; and to this forbearance your consent was obtained with +more readiness than I expected. + +"There was an additional motive for the treatment you received from me. +My personal projects and cares had hitherto prevented me from reading +Lodi's manuscript; a slight inspection, however, was sufficient to prove +that the work was profound and eloquent. My ambition has panted, with +equal avidity, after the reputation of literature and opulence. To claim +the authorship of this work was too harmless and specious a stratagem +not to be readily suggested. I meant to translate it into English, and +to enlarge it by enterprising incidents of my own invention. My scruples +to assume the merit of the original composer might thus be removed. For +this end, your assistance as an amanuensis would be necessary. + +"You will perceive that all these projects depended on the seasonable +arrival of intelligence from ----. The delay of another week would seal +my destruction. The silence might arise from the foundering of the ship +and the destruction of all on board. In this case, the insurance was not +forfeited, but payment could not be obtained within a year. Meanwhile, +the premium and other debts must be immediately discharged, and this was +beyond my power. Meanwhile, I was to live in a manner that would not +belie my pretensions; but my coffers were empty. + +"I cannot adequately paint the anxieties with which I have been haunted. +Each hour has added to the burden of my existence, till, in consequence +of the events of this day, it has become altogether insupportable. Some +hours ago, I was summoned by Thetford to his house. The messenger +informed me that tidings had been received of my ship. In answer to my +eager interrogations, he could give no other information than that she +had been captured by the British. He was unable to relate particulars. + +"News of her safe return would, indeed, have been far more acceptable; +but even this information was a source of infinite congratulation. It +precluded the demand of my insurers. The payment of other debts might be +postponed for a month, and my situation be the same as before the +adoption of this successless scheme. Hope and joy were reinstated in my +bosom, and I hasted to Thetford's counting-house. + +"He received me with an air of gloomy dissatisfaction. I accounted for +his sadness by supposing him averse to communicate information which was +less favourable than our wishes had dictated. He confirmed, with visible +reluctance, the news of her capture. He had just received letters from +his brother, acquainting him with all particulars, and containing the +official documents of this transaction. + +"This had no tendency to damp my satisfaction, and I proceeded to peruse +with eagerness the papers which he put into my hand. I had not proceeded +far, when my joyous hopes vanished. Two French mulattoes had, after much +solicitation, and the most solemn promises to carry with them no +articles which the laws of war decree to be contraband, obtained a +passage in the vessel. She was speedily encountered by a privateer, by +whom every receptacle was ransacked. In a chest, belonging to the +Frenchmen, and which they had affirmed to contain nothing but their +clothes, were found two sabres, and other accoutrements of an officer of +cavalry. Under this pretence, the vessel was captured and condemned, and +this was a cause of forfeiture which had not been provided against in +the contract of insurance. + +"By this untoward event my hopes were irreparably blasted. The utmost +efforts were demanded to conceal my thoughts from my companion. The +anguish that preyed upon my heart was endeavoured to be masked by looks +of indifference. I pretended to have been previously informed by the +messenger not only of the capture, but of the cause that led to it, and +forbore to expatiate upon my loss, or to execrate the authors of my +disappointment. My mind, however, was the theatre of discord and agony, +and I waited with impatience for an opportunity to leave him. + +"For want of other topics, I asked by whom this information had been +brought. He answered, that the bearer was Captain Amos Watson, whose +vessel had been forfeited, at the same time, under a different pretence. +He added that, my name being mentioned accidentally to Watson, the +latter had betrayed marks of great surprise, and been very earnest in +his inquiries respecting my situation. Having obtained what knowledge +Thetford was able to communicate, the captain had departed, avowing a +former acquaintance with me, and declaring his intention of paying me a +visit. + +"These words operated on my frame like lightning. All within me was +tumult and terror, and I rushed precipitately out of the house. I went +forward with unequal steps, and at random. Some instinct led me into the +fields, and I was not apprized of the direction of my steps, till, +looking up, I found myself upon the shore of Schuylkill. + +"Thus was I, a second time, overborne by hopeless and incurable evils. +An interval of motley feelings, of specious artifice and contemptible +imposture, had elapsed since my meeting with the stranger at Wilmington. +Then my forlorn state had led me to the brink of suicide. A brief and +feverish respite had been afforded me, but now was I transported to the +verge of the same abyss. + +"Amos Watson was the brother of the angel whom I had degraded and +destroyed. What but fiery indignation and unappeasable vengeance could +lead him into my presence? With what heart could I listen to his +invectives? How could I endure to look upon the face of one whom I had +loaded with such atrocious and intolerable injuries? + +"I was acquainted with his loftiness of mind; his detestation of +injustice, and the whirlwind passions that ingratitude and villany like +mine were qualified to awaken in his bosom. I dreaded not his violence. +The death that he might be prompted to inflict was no object of +aversion. It was poverty and disgrace, the detection of my crimes, the +looks and voice of malediction and upbraiding, from which my cowardice +shrunk. + +"Why should I live? I must vanish from that stage which I had lately +trodden. My flight must be instant and precipitate. To be a fugitive +from exasperated creditors, and from the industrious revenge of Watson, +was an easy undertaking; but whither could I fly, where I should not be +pursued by the phantoms of remorse, by the dread of hourly detection, by +the necessities of hunger and thirst? In what scene should I be exempt +from servitude and drudgery? Was my existence embellished with +enjoyments that would justify my holding it, encumbered with hardships +and immersed in obscurity? + +"There was no room for hesitation. To rush into the stream before me, +and put an end at once to my life and the miseries inseparably linked +with it, was the only proceeding which fate had left to my choice. My +muscles were already exerted for this end, when the helpless condition +of Clemenza was remembered. What provision could I make against the +evils that threatened her? Should I leave her utterly forlorn and +friendless? Mrs. Wentworth's temper was forgiving and compassionate. +Adversity had taught her to participate and her wealth enabled her to +relieve distress. Who was there by whom such powerful claims to succour +and protection could be urged as by this desolate girl? Might I not +state her situation in a letter to this lady, and urge irresistible +pleas for the extension of her kindness to this object? + +"These thoughts made me suspend my steps. I determined to seek my +habitation once more, and, having written and deposited this letter, to +return to the execution of my fatal purpose. I had scarcely reached my +own door, when some one approached along the pavement. The form, at +first, was undistinguishable, but, by coming, at length, within the +illumination of a lamp, it was perfectly recognised. + +"To avoid this detested interview was now impossible. Watson approached +and accosted me. In this conflict of tumultuous feelings I was still +able to maintain an air of intrepidity. His demeanour was that of a man +who struggles with his rage. His accents were hurried, and scarcely +articulate. 'I have ten words to say to you,' said he; 'lead into the +house, and to some private room. My business with you will be despatched +in a breath.' + +"I made him no answer, but led the way into my house, and to my study. +On entering this room, I put the light upon the table, and, turning to +my visitant, prepared silently to hear what he had to unfold. He struck +his clenched hand against the table with violence. His motion was of +that tempestuous kind as to overwhelm the power of utterance, and found +it easier to vent itself in gesticulations than in words. At length he +exclaimed,-- + +"'It is well. Now has the hour, so long and so impatiently demanded by +my vengeance, arrived. Welbeck! Would that my first words could strike +thee dead! They will so, if thou hast any title to the name of man. + +"'My sister is dead; dead of anguish and a broken heart. Remote from her +friends; in a hovel; the abode of indigence and misery. + +"'Her husband is no more. He returned after a long absence, a tedious +navigation, and vicissitudes of hardships. He flew to the bosom of his +love; of his wife. She was gone; lost to him, and to virtue. In a fit of +desperation, he retired to his chamber and despatched himself. This is +the instrument with which the deed was performed.' + +"Saying this, Watson took a pistol from his pocket, and held it to my +head. I lifted not my hand to turn aside the weapon. I did not shudder +at the spectacle, or shrink from his approaching hand. With fingers +clasped together, and eyes fixed upon the floor, I waited till his fury +was exhausted. He continued:-- + +"'All passed in a few hours. The elopement of his daughter,--the death +of his son. O my father! Most loved and most venerable of men! To see +thee changed into a maniac! Haggard and wild! Deterred from outrage on +thyself and those around thee by fetters and stripes! What was it that +saved me from a like fate? To view this hideous ruin, and to think by +whom it was occasioned! Yet not to become frantic like thee, my father; +or not destroy myself like thee, my brother! My friend!-- + +"'No. For this hour was I reserved; to avenge your wrongs and mine in +the blood of this ungrateful villain.' + +"'There,' continued he, producing a second pistol, and tendering it to +me,--'there is thy defence. Take we opposite sides of this table, and +fire at the same instant.' + +"During this address I was motionless. He tendered the pistol, but I +unclasped not my hands to receive it. + +"'Why do you hesitate?' resumed he. 'Let the chance between us be equal, +or fire you first.' + +"'No,' said I, 'I am ready to die by your hand. I wish it. It will +preclude the necessity of performing the office for myself. I have +injured you, and merit all that your vengeance can inflict. I know your +nature too well to believe that my death will be perfect expiation. When +the gust of indignation is past, the remembrance of your deed will only +add to your sum of misery; yet I do not love you well enough to wish +that you would forbear. I desire to die, and to die by another's hand +rather than my own.' + +"'Coward!' exclaimed Watson, with augmented vehemence, 'you know me too +well to believe me capable of assassination. Vile subterfuge! +Contemptible plea! Take the pistol and defend yourself. You want not the +power or the will; but, knowing that I spurn at murder, you think your +safety will be found in passiveness. Your refusal will avail you little. +Your fame, if not your life, is at my mercy. If you falter now, I will +allow you to live, but only till I have stabbed your reputation.' + +"I now fixed my eyes steadfastly upon him, and spoke:--'How much a +stranger are you to the feelings of Welbeck! How poor a judge of his +cowardice! I take your pistol, and consent to your conditions.' + +"We took opposite sides of the table. 'Are you ready?' he cried; 'fire!' + +"Both triggers were drawn at the same instant. Both pistols were +discharged. Mine was negligently raised. Such is the untoward chance +that presides over human affairs; such is the malignant destiny by which +my steps have ever been pursued. The bullet whistled harmlessly by +me,--levelled by an eye that never before failed, and with so small an +interval between us. I escaped, but my blind and random shot took place +in his heart. + +"There is the fruit of this disastrous meeting. The catalogue of death +is thus completed. Thou sleepest, Watson! Thy sister is at rest, and so +art thou. Thy vows of vengeance are at an end. It was not reserved for +thee to be thy own and thy sister's avenger. Welbeck's measure of +transgressions is now full, and his own hand must execute the justice +that is due to him." + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + + +Such was Welbeck's tale, listened to by me with an eagerness in which +every faculty was absorbed. How adverse to my dreams were the incidents +that had just been related! The curtain was lifted, and a scene of guilt +and ignominy disclosed where my rash and inexperienced youth had +suspected nothing but loftiness and magnanimity. + +For a while the wondrousness of this tale kept me from contemplating the +consequences that awaited us. My unfledged fancy had not hitherto soared +to this pitch. All was astounding by its novelty, or terrific by its +horror. The very scene of these offences partook, to my rustic +apprehension, of fairy splendour and magical abruptness. My +understanding was bemazed, and my senses were taught to distrust their +own testimony. + +From this musing state I was recalled by my companion, who said to me, +in solemn accents, "Mervyn! I have but two requests to make. Assist me +to bury these remains, and then accompany me across the river. I have no +power to compel your silence on the acts that you have witnessed. I have +meditated to benefit as well as to injure you; but I do not desire that +your demeanour should conform to any other standard than justice. You +have promised, and to that promise I trust. + +"If you choose to fly from this scene, to withdraw yourself from what +you may conceive to be a theatre of guilt or peril, the avenues are +open; retire unmolested and in silence. If you have a manlike spirit, if +you are grateful for the benefits bestowed upon you, if your discernment +enables you to see that compliance with my request will entangle you in +no guilt and betray you into no danger, stay, and aid me in hiding these +remains from human scrutiny. + +"Watson is beyond the reach of further injury. I never intended him +harm, though I have torn from him his sister and friend, and have +brought his life to an untimely close. To provide him a grave is a duty +that I owe to the dead and to the living. I shall quickly place myself +beyond the reach of inquisitors and judges, but would willingly rescue +from molestation or suspicion those whom I shall leave behind." + +What would have been the fruit of deliberation, if I had had the time or +power to deliberate, I know not. My thoughts flowed with tumult and +rapidity. To shut this spectacle from my view was the first impulse; but +to desert this man, in a time of so much need, appeared a thankless and +dastardly deportment. To remain where I was, to conform implicitly to +his direction, required no effort. Some fear was connected with his +presence, and with that of the dead; but, in the tremulous confusion of +my present thoughts, solitude would conjure up a thousand phantoms. + +I made no preparation to depart. I did not verbally assent to his +proposal. He interpreted my silence into acquiescence. He wrapped the +body in the carpet, and then, lifting one end, cast at me a look which +indicated his expectations that I would aid him in lifting this ghastly +burden. During this process, the silence was unbroken. + +I knew not whither he intended to convey the corpse. He had talked of +burial, but no receptacle had been provided. How far safety might depend +upon his conduct in this particular, I was unable to estimate. I was in +too heartless a mood to utter my doubts. I followed his example in +raising the corpse from the floor. + +He led the way into the passage and down-stairs. Having reached the +first floor, he unbolted a door which led into the cellar. The stairs +and passage were illuminated by lamps that hung from the ceiling and +were accustomed to burn during the night. Now, however, we were entering +darksome and murky recesses. + +"Return," said he, in a tone of command, "and fetch the light. I will +wait for you." + +I obeyed. As I returned with the light, a suspicion stole into my mind, +that Welbeck had taken this opportunity to fly; and that, on regaining +the foot of the stairs, I should find the spot deserted by all but the +dead. My blood was chilled by this image. The momentary resolution it +inspired was to follow the example of the fugitive, and leave the +persons whom the ensuing day might convene on this spot, to form their +own conjectures as to the cause of this catastrophe. + +Meanwhile, I cast anxious eyes forward. Welbeck was discovered in the +same place and posture in which he had been left. Lifting the corpse and +its shroud in his arms, he directed me to follow him. The vaults beneath +were lofty and spacious. He passed from one to the other till we reached +a small and remote cell. Here he cast his burden on the ground. In the +fall, the face of Watson chanced to be disengaged from its covering. Its +closed eyes and sunken muscles were rendered in a tenfold degree ghastly +and rueful by the feeble light which the candle shed upon it. + +This object did not escape the attention of Welbeck. He leaned against +the wall, and, folding his arms, resigned himself to reverie. He gazed +upon the countenance of Watson, but his looks denoted his attention to +be elsewhere employed. + +As to me, my state will not be easily described. My eye roved fearfully +from one object to another. By turns it was fixed upon the murdered +person and the murderer. The narrow cell in which we stood, its +rudely-fashioned walls and arches, destitute of communication with the +external air, and its palpable dark scarcely penetrated by the rays of a +solitary candle, added to the silence which was deep and universal, +produced an impression on my fancy which no time will obliterate. + +Perhaps my imagination was distempered by terror. The incident which I +am going to relate may appear to have existed only in my fancy. Be that +as it may, I experienced all the effects which the fullest belief is +adapted to produce. Glancing vaguely at the countenance of Watson, my +attention was arrested by a convulsive motion in the eyelids. This +motion increased, till at length the eyes opened, and a glance, languid +but wild, was thrown around. Instantly they closed, and the tremulous +appearance vanished. + +I started from my place and was on the point of uttering some +involuntary exclamation. At the same moment, Welbeck seemed to recover +from his reverie. + +"How is this?" said he. "Why do we linger here? Every moment is +precious. We cannot dig for him a grave with our hands. Wait here, while +I go in search of a spade." + +Saying this, he snatched the candle from my hand, and hasted away. My +eye followed the light as its gleams shifted their place upon the walls +and ceilings, and, gradually vanishing, gave place to unrespited gloom. +This proceeding was so unexpected and abrupt, that I had no time to +remonstrate against it. Before I retrieved the power of reflection, the +light had disappeared and the footsteps were no longer to be heard. + +I was not, on ordinary occasions, destitute of equanimity; but perhaps +the imagination of man is naturally abhorrent of death, until tutored +into indifference by habit. Every circumstance combined to fill me with +shuddering and panic. For a while, I was enabled to endure my situation +by the exertions of my reason. That the lifeless remains of a human +being are powerless to injure or benefit, I was thoroughly persuaded. I +summoned this belief to my aid, and was able, if not to subdue, yet to +curb, my fears. I listened to catch the sound of the returning footsteps +of Welbeck, and hoped that every new moment would terminate my solitude. + +No signal of his coming was afforded. At length it occurred to me that +Welbeck had gone with no intention to return; that his malice had +seduced me hither to encounter the consequences of his deed. He had fled +and barred every door behind him. This suspicion may well be supposed to +overpower my courage, and to call forth desperate efforts for my +deliverance. + +I extended my hands and went forward. I had been too little attentive to +the situation and direction of these vaults and passages, to go forward +with undeviating accuracy. My fears likewise tended to confuse my +perceptions and bewilder my steps. Notwithstanding the danger of +encountering obstructions, I rushed towards the entrance with +precipitation. + +My temerity was quickly punished. In a moment, I was repelled by a +jutting angle of the wall, with such force that I staggered backward and +fell. The blow was stunning, and, when I recovered my senses, I +perceived that a torrent of blood was gushing from my nostrils. My +clothes were moistened with this unwelcome effusion, and I could not but +reflect on the hazard which I should incur by being detected in this +recess, covered by these accusing stains. + +This reflection once more set me on my feet and incited my exertions. I +now proceeded with greater wariness and caution. I had lost all distinct +notions of my way. My motions were at random. All my labour was to shun +obstructions and to advance whenever the vacuity would permit. By this +means, the entrance was at length found, and, after various efforts, I +arrived, beyond my hopes, at the foot of the staircase. + +I ascended, but quickly encountered an insuperable impediment. The door +at the stair-head was closed and barred. My utmost strength was exerted +in vain, to break the lock or the hinges. Thus were my direst +apprehensions fulfilled. Welbeck had left me to sustain the charge of +murder; to obviate suspicions the most atrocious and plausible that the +course of human events is capable of producing. + +Here I must remain till the morrow; till some one can be made to +overhear my calls and come to my deliverance. What effects will my +appearance produce on the spectator? Terrified by phantoms and stained +with blood, shall I not exhibit the tokens of a maniac as well as an +assassin? + +The corpse of Watson will quickly be discovered. If, previous to this +disclosure, I should change my blood-stained garments and withdraw into +the country, shall I not be pursued by the most vehement suspicions, +and, perhaps, hunted to my obscurest retreat by the ministers of +justice? I am innocent; but my tale, however circumstantial or true, +will scarcely suffice for my vindication. My flight will be construed +into a proof of incontestable guilt. + +While harassed by these thoughts, my attention was attracted by a faint +gleam cast upon the bottom of the staircase. It grew stronger, hovered +for a moment in my sight, and then disappeared. That it proceeded from a +lamp or candle, borne by some one along the passages, was no untenable +opinion, but was far less probable than that the effulgence was +meteorous. I confided in the latter supposition, and fortified myself +anew against the dread of preternatural dangers. My thoughts reverted to +the contemplation of the hazards and suspicions which flowed from my +continuance in this spot. + +In the midst of my perturbed musing, my attention was again recalled by +an illumination like the former. Instead of hovering and vanishing, it +was permanent. No ray could be more feeble; but the tangible obscurity +to which it succeeded rendered it conspicuous as an electrical flash. +For a while I eyed it without moving from my place, and in momentary +expectation of its disappearance. + +Remarking its stability, the propriety of scrutinizing it more nearly, +and of ascertaining the source whence it flowed, was at length +suggested. Hope, as well as curiosity, was the parent of my conduct. +Though utterly at a loss to assign the cause of this appearance, I was +willing to believe some connection between that cause and the means of +my deliverance. + +I had scarcely formed the resolution of descending the stair, when my +hope was extinguished by the recollection that the cellar had narrow and +grated windows, through which light from the street might possibly have +found access. A second recollection supplanted this belief, for in my +way to this staircase my attention would have been solicited, and my +steps, in some degree, been guided, by light coming through these +avenues. + +Having returned to the bottom of the stair, I perceived every part of +the long-drawn passage illuminated. I threw a glance forward to the +quarter whence the rays seemed to proceed, and beheld, at a considerable +distance, Welbeck in the cell which I had left, turning up the earth +with a spade. + +After a pause of astonishment, the nature of the error which I had +committed rushed upon my apprehension. I now perceived that the darkness +had misled me to a different staircase from that which I had originally +descended. It was apparent that Welbeck intended me no evil, but had +really gone in search of the instrument which he had mentioned. + +This discovery overwhelmed me with contrition and shame, though it freed +me from the terrors of imprisonment and accusation. To return to the +cell which I had left, and where Welbeck was employed in his disastrous +office, was the expedient which regard to my own safety unavoidably +suggested. + +Welbeck paused, at my approach, and betrayed a momentary consternation +at the sight of my ensanguined visage. The blood, by some inexplicable +process of nature, perhaps by the counteracting influence of fear, had +quickly ceased to flow. Whether the cause of my evasion, and of my flux +of blood, was guessed, or whether his attention was withdrawn, by more +momentous objects, from my condition, he proceeded in his task in +silence. + +A shallow bed and a slight covering of clay were provided for the +hapless Watson. Welbeck's movements were hurried and tremulous. His +countenance betokened a mind engrossed by a single purpose, in some +degree foreign to the scene before him. An intensity and fixedness of +features were conspicuous, that led me to suspect the subversion of his +reason. + +Having finished the task, he threw aside his implement. He then put into +my hand a pocket-book, saying it belonged to Watson, and might contain +something serviceable to the living. I might make what use of it I +thought proper. He then remounted the stairs, and, placing the candle on +a table in the hall, opened the principal door and went forth. I was +driven, by a sort of mechanical impulse, in his footsteps. I followed +him because it was agreeable to him and because I knew not whither else +to direct my steps. + +The streets were desolate and silent. The watchman's call, remotely and +faintly heard, added to the general solemnity. I followed my companion +in a state of mind not easily described. I had no spirit even to inquire +whither he was going. It was not till we arrived at the water's edge +that I persuaded myself to break silence. I then began to reflect on the +degree in which his present schemes might endanger Welbeck or myself. I +had acted long enough a servile and mechanical part; and been guided by +blind and foreign impulses. It was time to lay aside my fetters, and +demand to know whither the path tended in which I was importuned to +walk. + +Meanwhile I found myself entangled among boats and shipping. I am unable +to describe the spot by any indisputable tokens. I know merely that it +was the termination of one of the principal streets. Here Welbeck +selected a boat and prepared to enter it. For a moment I hesitated to +comply with his apparent invitation. I stammered out an +interrogation:--"Why is this? Why should we cross the river? What +service can I do for you? I ought to know the purpose of my voyage +before I enter it." + +He checked himself and surveyed me for a minute in silence. "What do you +fear?" said he. "Have I not explained my wishes? Merely cross the river +with me, for I cannot navigate a boat by myself. Is there any thing +arduous or mysterious in this undertaking? we part on the Jersey shore, +and I shall leave you to your destiny. All I shall ask from you will be +silence, and to hide from mankind what you know concerning me." + +He now entered the boat and urged me to follow his example. I +reluctantly complied, I perceived that the boat contained but one oar, +and that was a small one. He seemed startled and thrown into great +perplexity by this discovery. "It will be impossible," said he, in a +tone of panic and vexation, "to procure another at this hour: what is to +be done?" + +This impediment was by no means insuperable. I had sinewy arms, and knew +well how to use an oar for the double purpose of oar and rudder. I took +my station at the stern, and quickly extricated the boat from its +neighbours and from the wharves. I was wholly unacquainted with the +river. The bar by which it was encumbered I knew to exist, but in what +direction and to what extent it existed, and how it might be avoided in +the present state of the tide, I knew not. It was probable, therefore, +unknowing as I was of the proper track, that our boat would speedily +have grounded. + +My attention, meanwhile, was fixed upon the oar. My companion sat at the +prow, and was in a considerable degree unnoticed. I cast my eyes +occasionally at the scene which I had left. Its novelty, joined with the +incidents of my condition, threw me into a state of suspense and wonder +which frequently slackened my hand and left the vessel to be driven by +the downward current. Lights were sparingly seen, and these were +perpetually fluctuating, as masts, yards, and hulls were interposed, and +passed before them. In proportion as we receded from the shore, the +clamours seemed to multiply, and the suggestion that the city was +involved in confusion and uproar did not easily give way to maturer +thoughts. _Twelve_ was the hour cried, and this ascended at once from +all quarters, and was mingled with the baying of dogs, so as to produce +trepidation and alarm. + +From this state of magnificent and awful feeling I was suddenly called +by the conduct of Welbeck. We had scarcely moved two hundred yards from +the shore, when he plunged into the water. The first conception was that +some implement or part of the boat had fallen over-board. I looked back +and perceived that his seat was vacant. In my first astonishment I +loosened my hold of the oar, and it floated away. The surface was smooth +as glass, and the eddy occasioned by his sinking was scarcely visible. I +had not time to determine whether this was designed or accidental. Its +suddenness deprived me of the power to exert myself for his succour. I +wildly gazed around me, in hopes of seeing him rise. After some time my +attention was drawn, by the sound of agitation in the water, to a +considerable distance. + +It was too dark for any thing to be distinctly seen. There was no cry +for help. The noise was like that of one vigorously struggling for a +moment, and then sinking to the bottom. I listened with painful +eagerness, but was unable to distinguish a third signal. He sunk to rise +no more. + +I was for a time inattentive to my own situation. The dreadfulness and +unexpectedness of this catastrophe occupied me wholly. The quick motion +of the lights upon the shore showed me that I was borne rapidly along +with the tide. How to help myself, how to impede my course or to regain +either shore, since I had lost the oar, I was unable to tell. I was no +less at a loss to conjecture whither the current, if suffered to control +my vehicle, would finally transport me. + +The disappearance of lights and buildings, and the diminution of the +noises, acquainted me that I had passed the town. It was impossible +longer to hesitate. The shore was to be regained by one way only, which +was swimming. To any exploit of this kind, my strength and my skill were +adequate. I threw away my loose gown; put the pocket-book of the +unfortunate Watson in my mouth, to preserve it from being injured by +moisture; and committed myself to the stream. + +I landed in a spot incommoded with mud and reeds. I sunk knee-deep into +the former, and was exhausted by the fatigue of extricating myself. At +length I recovered firm ground, and threw myself on the turf to repair +my wasted strength, and to reflect on the measures which my future +welfare enjoined me to pursue. + +What condition was ever parallel to mine? The transactions of the last +three days resembled the monstrous creations of delirium. They were +painted with vivid hues on my memory; but so rapid and incongruous were +these transitions, that I almost denied belief to their reality. They +exercised a bewildering and stupefying influence on my mind, from which +the meditations of an hour were scarcely sufficient to relieve me. +Gradually I recovered the power of arranging my ideas and forming +conclusions. + +Welbeck was dead. His property was swallowed up, and his creditors left +to wonder at his disappearance. All that was left was the furniture of +his house, to which Mrs. Wentworth would lay claim, in discharge of the +unpaid rent. What now was the destiny that awaited the lost and +friendless Mademoiselle Lodi? Where was she concealed? Welbeck had +dropped no intimation by which I might be led to suspect the place of +her abode. If my power, in other respects, could have contributed aught +to her relief, my ignorance of her asylum had utterly disabled me. + +But what of the murdered person? He had suddenly vanished from the face +of the earth. His fate and the place of his interment would probably be +suspected and ascertained. Was I sure to escape from the consequences of +this deed? Watson had relatives and friends. What influence on their +state and happiness his untimely and mysterious fate would possess, it +was obvious to inquire. This idea led me to the recollection of his +pocket-book. Some papers might be there explanatory of his situation. + +I resumed my feet. I knew not where to direct my steps. I was dropping +with wet, and shivering with the cold. I was destitute of habitation and +friend. I had neither money nor any valuable thing in my possession. I +moved forward mechanically and at random. Where I landed was at no great +distance from the verge of the town. In a short time I discovered the +glimmering of a distant lamp. To this I directed my steps, and here I +paused to examine the contents of the pocket-book. + +I found three bank-notes, each of fifty dollars, enclosed in a piece of +blank paper. Besides these were three letters, apparently written by his +wife, and dated at Baltimore. They were brief, but composed in a strain +of great tenderness, and containing affecting allusions to their child. +I could gather, from their date and tenor, that they were received +during his absence on his recent voyage; that her condition was +considerably necessitous, and surrounded by wants which their prolonged +separation had increased. + +The fourth letter was open, and seemed to have been very lately written. +It was directed to Mrs. Mary Watson. He informed her in it of his +arrival at Philadelphia from St. Domingo; of the loss of his ship and +cargo; and of his intention to hasten home with all possible expedition. +He told her that all was lost but one hundred and fifty dollars, the +greater part of which he should bring with him, to relieve her more +pressing wants. The letter was signed, and folded, and superscribed, but +unsealed. + +A little consideration showed me in what manner it became me, on this +occasion, to demean myself. I put the bank-notes in the letter, and +sealed it with a wafer; a few of which were found in the pocket-book. I +hesitated some time whether I should add any thing to the information +which the letter contained, by means of a pencil which offered itself to +my view; but I concluded to forbear. I could select no suitable terms in +which to communicate the mournful truth. I resolved to deposit this +letter at the post-office, where I knew letters could be left at all +hours. + +My reflections at length reverted to my own condition. What was the fate +reserved for me? How far my safety might be affected by remaining in the +city, in consequence of the disappearance of Welbeck, and my known +connection with the fugitive, it was impossible to foresee. My fears +readily suggested innumerable embarrassments and inconveniences which +would flow from this source. Besides, on what pretence should I remain? +To whom could I apply for protection or employment? All avenues, even to +subsistence, were shut against me. The country was my sole asylum. Here, +in exchange for my labour, I could at least purchase food, safety, and +repose. But, if my choice pointed to the country, there was no reason +for a moment's delay. It would be prudent to regain the fields, and be +far from this detested city before the rising of the sun. + +Meanwhile I was chilled and chafed by the clothes that I wore. To change +them for others was absolutely necessary to my ease. The clothes which I +wore were not my own, and were extremely unsuitable to my new condition. +My rustic and homely garb was deposited in my chamber at Welbeck's. +These thoughts suggested the design of returning thither. I considered +that, probably, the servants had not been alarmed. That the door was +unfastened, and the house was accessible. It would be easy to enter and +retire without notice; and this, not without some waverings and +misgivings, I presently determined to do. + +Having deposited my letter at the office, I proceeded to my late abode. +I approached, and lifted the latch with caution. There were no +appearances of any one having been disturbed. I procured a light in the +kitchen, and hied softly and with dubious footsteps to my chamber. There +I disrobed, and resumed my check shirt, and trowsers, and fustian coat. +This change being accomplished, nothing remained but that I should +strike into the country with the utmost expedition. + +In a momentary review which I took of the past, the design for which +Welbeck professed to have originally detained me in his service occurred +to my mind. I knew the danger of reasoning loosely on the subject of +property. To any trinket or piece of furniture in this house I did not +allow myself to question the right of Mrs. Wentworth; a right accruing +to her in consequence of Welbeck's failure in the payment of his rent; +but there was one thing which I felt an irresistible desire, and no +scruples which should forbid me, to possess, and that was, the +manuscript to which Welbeck had alluded, as having been written by the +deceased Lodi. + +I was well instructed in Latin, and knew the Tuscan language to be +nearly akin to it. I despaired not of being at some time able to +cultivate this language, and believed that the possession of this +manuscript might essentially contribute to this end, as well as to many +others equally beneficial. It was easy to conjecture that the volume was +to be found among his printed books, and it was scarcely less easy to +ascertain the truth of this conjecture. I entered, not without tremulous +sensations, into the apartment which had been the scene of the +disastrous interview between Watson and Welbeck. At every step I almost +dreaded to behold the spectre of the former rise before me. + +Numerous and splendid volumes were arranged on mahogany shelves, and +screened by doors of glass. I ran swiftly over their names, and was at +length so fortunate as to light upon the book of which I was in search. +I immediately secured it, and, leaving the candle extinguished on a +table in the parlour, I once more issued forth into the street. With +light steps and palpitating heart I turned my face towards the country. +My necessitous condition I believed would justify me in passing without +payment the Schuylkill bridge, and the eastern sky began to brighten +with the dawn of morning not till I had gained the distance of nine +miles from the city. + +Such is the tale which I proposed to relate to you. Such are the +memorable incidents of five days of my life; from which I have gathered +more instruction than from the whole tissue of my previous existence. +Such are the particulars of my knowledge respecting the crimes and +misfortunes of Welbeck; which the insinuations of Wortley, and my desire +to retain your good opinion, have induced me to unfold. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + + +Mervyn's pause allowed his auditors to reflect on the particulars of his +narration, and to compare them with the facts with a knowledge of which +their own observation had supplied them. My profession introduced me to +the friendship of Mrs. Wentworth, by whom, after the disappearance of +Welbeck, many circumstances respecting him had been mentioned. She +particularly dwelt upon the deportment and appearance of this youth, at +the single interview which took place between them, and her +representations were perfectly conformable to those which Mervyn had +himself delivered. + +Previously to this interview, Welbeck had insinuated to her that a +recent event had put him in possession of the truth respecting the +destiny of Clavering. A kinsman of his had arrived from Portugal, by +whom this intelligence had been brought. He dexterously eluded her +entreaties to be furnished with minuter information, or to introduce +this kinsman to her acquaintance. As soon as Mervyn was ushered into her +presence, she suspected him to be the person to whom Welbeck had +alluded, and this suspicion his conversation had confirmed. She was at a +loss to comprehend the reasons of the silence which he so pertinaciously +maintained. + +Her uneasiness, however, prompted her to renew her solicitations. On the +day subsequent to the catastrophe related by Mervyn, she sent a +messenger to Welbeck, with a request to see him. Gabriel, the black +servant, informed the messenger that his master had gone into the +country for a week. At the end of the week, a messenger was again +despatched with the same errand. He called and knocked, but no one +answered his signals. He examined the entrance by the kitchen, but +every avenue was closed. It appeared that the house was wholly deserted. + +These appearances naturally gave birth to curiosity and suspicion. The +house was repeatedly examined, but the solitude and silence within +continued the same. The creditors of Welbeck were alarmed by these +appearances, and their claims to the property remaining in the house +were precluded by Mrs. Wentworth, who, as owner of the mansion, was +legally entitled to the furniture, in place of the rent which Welbeck +had suffered to accumulate. + +On examining the dwelling, all that was valuable and portable, +particularly linen and plate, was removed. The remainder was distrained, +but the tumults of pestilence succeeded and hindered it from being sold. +Things were allowed to continue in their former situation, and the house +was carefully secured. We had no leisure to form conjectures on the +causes of this desertion. An explanation was afforded us by the +narrative of this youth. It is probable that the servants, finding their +master's absence continue, had pillaged the house and fled. + +Meanwhile, though our curiosity with regard to Welbeck was appeased, it +was obvious to inquire by what series of inducements and events Mervyn +was reconducted to the city and led to the spot where I first met with +him. We intimated our wishes in this respect, and our young friend +readily consented to take up the thread of his story and bring it down +to the point that was desired. For this purpose, the ensuing evening was +selected. Having, at an early hour, shut ourselves up from all intruders +and visitors, he continued as follows. + + * * * * * + +I have mentioned that, by sunrise, I had gained the distance of many +miles from the city. My purpose was to stop at the first farm-house, and +seek employment as a day-labourer. The first person whom I observed was +a man of placid mien and plain garb. Habitual benevolence was apparent +amidst the wrinkles of age. He was traversing his buckwheat-field, and +measuring, as it seemed, the harvest that was now nearly ripe. + +I accosted him with diffidence, and explained my wishes. He listened to +my tale with complacency, inquired into my name and family, and into my +qualifications for the office to which I aspired. My answers were candid +and full. + +"Why," said he, "I believe thou and I can make a bargain. We will, at +least, try each other for a week or two. If it does not suit our mutual +convenience, we can change. The morning is damp and cool, and thy plight +does not appear the most comfortable that can be imagined. Come to the +house and eat some breakfast." + +The behaviour of this good man filled me with gratitude and joy. +Methought I could embrace him as a father, and entrance into his house +appeared like return to a long-lost and much-loved home. My desolate and +lonely condition appeared to be changed for paternal regards and the +tenderness of friendship. + +These emotions were confirmed and heightened by every object that +presented itself under this roof. The family consisted of Mrs. Hadwin, +two simple and affectionate girls, his daughters, and servants. The +manners of this family, quiet, artless, and cordial, the occupations +allotted me, the land by which the dwelling was surrounded, its pure +airs, romantic walks, and exhaustless fertility, constituted a powerful +contrast to the scenes which I had left behind, and were congenial with +every dictate of my understanding and every sentiment that glowed in my +heart. + +My youth, mental cultivation, and circumspect deportment, entitled me to +deference and confidence. Each hour confirmed me in the good opinion of +Mr. Hadwin, and in the affections of his daughters. In the mind of my +employer, the simplicity of the husbandman and the devotion of the +Quaker were blended with humanity and intelligence. The sisters, Susan +and Eliza, were unacquainted with calamity and vice through the medium +of either observation or books. They were strangers to the benefits of +an elaborate education, but they were endowed with curiosity and +discernment, and had not suffered their slender means of instruction to +remain unimproved. + +The sedateness of the elder formed an amusing contrast with the laughing +eye and untamable vivacity of the younger; but they smiled and they +wept in unison. They thought and acted in different but not discordant +keys. On all momentous occasions, they reasoned and felt alike. In +ordinary cases, they separated, as it were, into different tracks; but +this diversity was productive not of jarring, but of harmony. + +A romantic and untutored disposition like mine may be supposed liable to +strong impressions from perpetual converse with persons of their age and +sex. The elder was soon discovered to have already disposed of her +affections. The younger was free, and somewhat that is more easily +conceived than named stole insensibly upon my heart. The images that +haunted me at home and abroad, in her absence and her presence, +gradually coalesced into one shape, and gave birth to an incessant train +of latent palpitations and indefinable hopes. My days were little else +than uninterrupted reveries, and night only called up phantoms more +vivid and equally enchanting. + +The memorable incidents which had lately happened scarcely counterpoised +my new sensations or diverted my contemplations from the present. My +views were gradually led to rest upon futurity, and in that I quickly +found cause of circumspection and dread. My present labours were light, +and were sufficient for my subsistence in a single state; but wedlock +was the parent of new wants and of new cares. Mr. Hadwin's possessions +were adequate to his own frugal maintenance, but, divided between his +children, would be too scanty for either. Besides, this division could +only take place at his death, and that was an event whose speedy +occurrence was neither desirable nor probable. + +Another obstacle was now remembered. Hadwin was the conscientious member +of a sect which forbade the marriage of its votaries with those of a +different communion. I had been trained in an opposite creed, and +imagined it impossible that I should ever become a proselyte to +Quakerism. It only remained for me to feign conversion, or to root out +the opinions of my friend and win her consent to a secret marriage. +Whether hypocrisy was eligible was no subject of deliberation. If the +possession of all that ambition can conceive were added to the +transports of union with Eliza Hadwin, and offered as the price of +dissimulation, it would have been instantly rejected. My external goods +were not abundant nor numerous, but the consciousness of rectitude was +mine; and, in competition with this, the luxury of the heart and of the +senses, the gratifications of boundless ambition and inexhaustible +wealth, were contemptible and frivolous. + +The conquest of Eliza's errors was easy; but to introduce discord and +sorrow into this family was an act of the utmost ingratitude and +profligacy. It was only requisite for my understanding clearly to +discern, to be convinced of the insuperability of this obstacle. It was +manifest, therefore, that the point to which my wishes tended was placed +beyond my reach. + +To foster my passion was to foster a disease destructive either of my +integrity or my existence. It was indispensable to fix my thoughts upon +a different object, and to debar myself even from her intercourse. To +ponder on themes foreign to my darling image, and to seclude myself from +her society, at hours which had usually been spent with her, were +difficult tasks. The latter was the least practicable. I had to contend +with eyes which alternately wondered at and upbraided me for my +unkindness. She was wholly unaware of the nature of her own feelings, +and this ignorance made her less scrupulous in the expression of her +sentiments. + +Hitherto I had needed not employment beyond myself and my companions. +Now my new motives made me eager to discover some means of controlling +and beguiling my thoughts. In this state, the manuscript of Lodi +occurred to me. In my way hither, I had resolved to make the study of +the language of this book, and the translation of its contents into +English, the business and solace of my leisure. Now this resolution was +revived with new force. + +My project was perhaps singular. The ancient language of Italy possessed +a strong affinity with the modern. My knowledge of the former was my +only means of gaining the latter. I had no grammar or vocabulary to +explain how far the meanings and inflections of Tuscan words varied +from the Roman dialect. I was to ponder on each sentence and phrase; to +select among different conjectures the most plausible, and to ascertain +the true by patient and repeated scrutiny. + +This undertaking, fantastic and impracticable as it may seem, proved, +upon experiment, to be within the compass of my powers. The detail of my +progress would be curious and instructive. What impediments, in the +attainment of a darling purpose, human ingenuity and patience are able +to surmount; how much may be done by strenuous and solitary efforts; how +the mind, unassisted, may draw forth the principles of inflection and +arrangement; may profit by remote, analogous, and latent similitudes, +would be forcibly illustrated by my example; but the theme, however +attractive, must, for the present, be omitted. + +My progress was slow; but the perception of hourly improvement afforded +me unspeakable pleasure. Having arrived near the last pages, I was able +to pursue, with little interruption, the thread of an eloquent +narration. The triumph of a leader of outlaws over the popular +enthusiasm of the Milanese and the claims of neighbouring potentates was +about to be depicted. The _Condottiero_ Sforza had taken refuge from his +enemies in a tomb, accidentally discovered amidst the ruins of a Roman +fortress in the Apennines. He had sought this recess for the sake of +concealment, but found in it a treasure by which he would be enabled to +secure the wavering and venal faith of that crew of ruffians that +followed his standard, provided he fell not into the hands of the +enemies who were now in search of him. + +My tumultuous curiosity was suddenly checked by the following leaves +being glued together at the edges. To dissever them without injury to +the written spaces was by no means easy. I proceeded to the task, not +without precipitation. The edges were torn away, and the leaves parted. + +It may be thought that I took up the thread where it had been broken; +but no. The object that my eyes encountered, and which the cemented +leaves had so long concealed, was beyond the power of the most +capricious or lawless fancy to have prefigured; yet it bore a shadowy +resemblance to the images with which my imagination was previously +occupied. I opened, and beheld--_a bank-note_! + +To the first transports of surprise, the conjecture succeeded, that the +remaining leaves, cemented together in the same manner, might enclose +similar bills. They were hastily separated, and the conjecture was +verified. My sensations at this discovery were of an inexplicable kind. +I gazed at the notes in silence. I moved my finger over them; held them +in different positions; read and reread the name of each sum, and the +signature; added them together, and repeated to myself--"_Twenty +thousand dollars!_ They are mine, and by such means!" + +This sum would have redeemed the fallen fortunes of Welbeck. The dying +Lodi was unable to communicate all the contents of this inestimable +volume. He had divided his treasure, with a view to its greater safety, +between this volume and his pocket-book. Death hasted upon him too +suddenly to allow him to explain his precautions. Welbeck had placed the +book in his collection, purposing some time to peruse it; but, deterred +by anxieties which the perusal would have dissipated, he rushed to +desperation and suicide, from which some evanescent contingency, by +unfolding this treasure to his view, would have effectually rescued him. + +But was this event to be regretted? This sum, like the former, would +probably have been expended in the same pernicious prodigality. His +career would have continued some time longer; but his inveterate habits +would have finally conducted his existence to the same criminal and +ignominious close. + +But the destiny of Welbeck was accomplished. The money was placed, +without guilt or artifice, in my possession. My fortune had been thus +unexpectedly and wondrously propitious. How was I to profit by her +favour? Would not this sum enable me to gather round me all the +instruments of pleasure? Equipage, and palace, and a multitude of +servants; polished mirrors, splendid hangings, banquets, and flatterers, +were equally abhorrent to my taste and my principles. The accumulation +of knowledge, and the diffusion of happiness, in which riches may be +rendered eminently instrumental, were the only precepts of duty, and the +only avenues to genuine felicity. + +"But what," said I, "is my title to this money? By retaining it, shall I +not be as culpable as Welbeck? It came into his possession, as it came +into mine, without a crime; but my knowledge of the true proprietor is +equally certain, and the claims of the unfortunate stranger are as valid +as ever. Indeed, if utility, and not law, be the measure of justice, her +claim, desolate and indigent as she is, unfitted, by her past life, by +the softness and the prejudices of her education, for contending with +calamity, is incontestable. + +"As to me, health and diligence will give me, not only the competence +which I seek, but the power of enjoying it. If my present condition be +unchangeable, I shall not be unhappy. My occupations are salutary and +meritorious; I am a stranger to the cares as well as to the enjoyment of +riches; abundant means of knowledge are possessed by me, as long as I +have eyes to gaze at man and at nature, as they are exhibited in their +original forms or in books. The precepts of my duty cannot be mistaken. +The lady must be sought and the money restored to her." + +Certain obstacles existed to the immediate execution of this scheme. How +should I conduct my search? What apology should I make for withdrawing +thus abruptly, and contrary to the terms of an agreement into which I +had lately entered, from the family and service of my friend and +benefactor Hadwin? + +My thoughts were called away from pursuing these inquiries by a rumour, +which had gradually swelled to formidable dimensions; and which, at +length, reached us in our quiet retreats. The city, we were told, was +involved in confusion and panic, for a pestilential disease had begun +its destructive progress. Magistrates and citizens were flying to the +country. The numbers of the sick multiplied beyond all example; even in +the pest-affected cities of the Levant. The malady was malignant and +unsparing. + +The usual occupations and amusements of life were at an end. Terror had +exterminated all the sentiments of nature. Wives were deserted by +husbands, and children by parents. Some had shut themselves in their +houses, and debarred themselves from all communication with the rest of +mankind. The consternation of others had destroyed their understanding, +and their misguided steps hurried them into the midst of the danger +which they had previously laboured to shun. Men were seized by this +disease in the streets; passengers fled from them; entrance into their +own dwellings was denied to them; they perished in the public ways. + +The chambers of disease were deserted, and the sick left to die of +negligence. None could be found to remove the lifeless bodies. Their +remains, suffered to decay by piecemeal, filled the air with deadly +exhalations, and added tenfold to the devastation. + +Such was the tale, distorted and diversified a thousand ways by the +credulity and exaggeration of the tellers. At first I listened to the +story with indifference or mirth. Methought it was confuted by its own +extravagance. The enormity and variety of such an evil made it unworthy +to be believed. I expected that every new day would detect the absurdity +and fallacy of such representations. Every new day, however, added to +the number of witnesses and the consistency of the tale, till, at +length, it was not possible to withhold my faith. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + + +This rumour was of a nature to absorb and suspend the whole soul. A +certain sublimity is connected with enormous dangers that imparts to our +consternation or our pity a tincture of the pleasing. This, at least, +may be experienced by those who are beyond the verge of peril. My own +person was exposed to no hazard. I had leisure to conjure up terrific +images, and to personate the witnesses and sufferers of this calamity. +This employment was not enjoined upon me by necessity, but was ardently +pursued, and must therefore have been recommended by some nameless +charm. + +Others were very differently affected. As often as the tale was +embellished with new incidents or enforced by new testimony, the hearer +grew pale, his breath was stifled by inquietudes, his blood was chilled, +and his stomach was bereaved of its usual energies. A temporary +indisposition was produced in many. Some were haunted by a melancholy +bordering upon madness, and some, in consequence of sleepless panics, +for which no cause could be assigned, and for which no opiates could be +found, were attacked by lingering or mortal diseases. + +Mr. Hadwin was superior to groundless apprehensions. His daughters, +however, partook in all the consternation which surrounded them. The +eldest had, indeed, abundant reason for her terror. The youth to whom +she was betrothed resided in the city. A year previous to this, he had +left the house of Mr. Hadwin, who was his uncle, and had removed to +Philadelphia in pursuit of fortune. + +He made himself clerk to a merchant, and, by some mercantile adventures +in which he had successfully engaged, began to flatter himself with +being able, in no long time, to support a family. Meanwhile, a tender +and constant correspondence was maintained between him and his beloved +Susan. This girl was a soft enthusiast, in whose bosom devotion and love +glowed with an ardour that has seldom been exceeded. + +The first tidings of the _yellow fever_ was heard by her with +unspeakable perturbation. Wallace was interrogated, by letter, +respecting its truth. For a time, he treated it as a vague report. At +length, a confession was extorted from him that there existed a +pestilential disease in the city; but he added that it was hitherto +confined to one quarter, distant from the place of his abode. + +The most pathetic entreaties were urged by her that he would withdraw +into the country. He declared his resolution to comply when the street +in which he lived should become infected and his stay should be attended +with real danger. He stated how much his interests depended upon the +favour of his present employer, who had used the most powerful arguments +to detain him, but declared that, when his situation should become, in +the least degree, perilous, he would slight every consideration of +gratitude and interest, and fly to _Malverton_. Meanwhile, he promised +to communicate tidings of his safety by every opportunity. + +Belding, Mr. Hadwin's next neighbour, though not uninfected by the +general panic, persisted to visit the city daily with his _market-cart_. +He set out by sunrise, and usually returned by noon. By him a letter was +punctually received by Susan. As the hour of Belding's return +approached, her impatience and anxiety increased. The daily epistle was +received and read, in a transport of eagerness. For a while her emotion +subsided, but returned with augmented vehemence at noon on the ensuing +day. + +These agitations were too vehement for a feeble constitution like hers. +She renewed her supplications to Wallace to quit the city. He repeated +his assertions of being, hitherto, secure, and his promise of coming +when the danger should be imminent. When Belding returned, and, instead +of being accompanied by Wallace, merely brought a letter from him, the +unhappy Susan would sink into fits of lamentation and weeping, and repel +every effort to console her with an obstinacy that partook of madness. +It was, at length, manifest that Wallace's delays would be fatally +injurious to the health of his mistress. + +Mr. Hadwin had hitherto been passive. He conceived that the entreaties +and remonstrances of his daughter were more likely to influence the +conduct of Wallace than any representations which he could make. Now, +however, he wrote the contumacious Wallace a letter, in which he laid +his commands upon him to return in company with Belding, and declared +that by a longer delay the youth would forfeit his favour. + +The malady had, at this time, made considerable progress. Belding's +interest at length yielded to his fears, and this was the last journey +which he proposed to make. Hence our impatience for the return of +Wallace was augmented; since, if this opportunity were lost, no suitable +conveyance might again be offered him. + +Belding set out, as usual, at the dawn of day. The customary interval +between his departure and return was spent by Susan in a tumult of hopes +and fears. As noon approached, her suspense arose to a pitch of wildness +and agony. She could scarcely be restrained from running along the road, +many miles, towards the city; that she might, by meeting Belding +half-way, the sooner ascertain the fate of her lover. She stationed +herself at a window which overlooked the road along which Belding was to +pass. + +Her sister and her father, though less impatient, marked, with painful +eagerness, the first sound of the approaching vehicle. They snatched a +look at it as soon as it appeared in sight. Belding was without a +companion. + +This confirmation of her fears overwhelmed the unhappy Susan. She sunk +into a fit, from which, for a long time, her recovery was hopeless. This +was succeeded by paroxysms of a furious insanity, in which she +attempted to snatch any pointed implement which lay within her reach, +with a view to destroy herself. These being carefully removed, or +forcibly wrested from her, she resigned herself to sobs and +exclamations. + +Having interrogated Belding, he informed us that he occupied his usual +post in the market-place; that heretofore Wallace had duly sought him +out, and exchanged letters; but that, on this morning, the young man had +not made his appearance, though Belding had been induced, by his wish to +see him, to prolong his stay in the city much beyond the usual period. + +That some other cause than sickness had occasioned this omission was +barely possible. There was scarcely room for the most sanguine temper to +indulge a hope. Wallace was without kindred, and probably without +friends, in the city. The merchant in whose service he had placed +himself was connected with him by no considerations but that of +interest. What then must be his situation when seized with a malady +which all believed to be contagious, and the fear of which was able to +dissolve the strongest ties that bind human beings together? + +I was personally a stranger to this youth. I had seen his letters, and +they bespoke, not indeed any great refinement or elevation of +intelligence, but a frank and generous spirit, to which I could not +refuse my esteem; but his chief claim to my affection consisted in his +consanguinity to Mr. Hadwin, and his place in the affections of Susan. +His welfare was essential to the happiness of those whose happiness had +become essential to mine. I witnessed the outrages of despair in the +daughter, and the symptoms of a deep but less violent grief in the +sister and parent. Was it not possible for me to alleviate their pangs? +Could not the fate of Wallace be ascertained? + +This disease assailed men with different degrees of malignity. In its +worst form perhaps it was incurable; but, in some of its modes, it was +doubtless conquerable by the skill of physicians and the fidelity of +nurses. In its least formidable symptoms, negligence and solitude would +render it fatal. + +Wallace might, perhaps, experience this pest in its most lenient +degree; but the desertion of all mankind, the want not only of medicines +but of food, would irrevocably seal his doom. My imagination was +incessantly pursued by the image of this youth, perishing alone, and in +obscurity; calling on the name of distant friends, or invoking, +ineffectually, the succour of those who were near. + +Hitherto distress had been contemplated at a distance, and through the +medium of a fancy delighting to be startled by the wonderful, or +transported by sublimity. Now the calamity had entered my own doors, +imaginary evils were supplanted by real, and my heart was the seat of +commiseration and horror. + +I found myself unfit for recreation or employment. I shrouded myself in +the gloom of the neighbouring forest, or lost myself in the maze of +rocks and dells. I endeavoured, in vain, to shut out the phantoms of the +dying Wallace, and to forget the spectacle of domestic woes. At length +it occurred to me to ask, May not this evil be obviated, and the +felicity of the Hadwins re-established? Wallace is friendless and +succourless; but cannot I supply to him the place of protector and +nurse? Why not hasten to the city, search out his abode, and ascertain +whether he be living or dead? If he still retain life, may I not, by +consolation and attendance, contribute to the restoration of his health, +and conduct him once more to the bosom of his family? + +With what transports will his arrival be hailed! How amply will their +impatience and their sorrow be compensated by his return! In the +spectacle of their joys, how rapturous and pure will be my delight! Do +the benefits which I have received from the Hadwins demand a less +retribution than this? + +It is true that my own life will be endangered; but my danger will be +proportioned to the duration of my stay in this seat of infection. The +death or the flight of Wallace may absolve me from the necessity of +spending one night in the city. The rustics who daily frequent the +market are, as experience proves, exempt from this disease; in +consequence, perhaps, of limiting their continuance in the city to a few +hours. May I not, in this respect, conform to their example, and enjoy +a similar exemption? + +My stay, however, may be longer than the day. I may be condemned to +share in the common destiny. What then? Life is dependent on a thousand +contingencies, not to be computed or foreseen. The seeds of an early and +lingering death are sown in my constitution. It is in vain to hope to +escape the malady by which my mother and my brothers have died. We are a +race whose existence some inherent property has limited to the short +space of twenty years. We are exposed, in common with the rest of +mankind, to innumerable casualties; but, if these be shunned, we are +unalterably fated to perish by _consumption_. Why then should I scruple +to lay down my life in the cause of virtue and humanity? It is better to +die in the consciousness of having offered an heroic sacrifice, to die +by a speedy stroke, than by the perverseness of nature, in ignominious +inactivity and lingering agonies. + +These considerations determined me to hasten to the city. To mention my +purpose to the Hadwins would be useless or pernicious. It would only +augment the sum of their present anxieties. I should meet with a +thousand obstacles in the tenderness and terror of Eliza, and in the +prudent affection of her father. Their arguments I should be condemned +to hear, but should not be able to confute; and should only load myself +with imputations of perverseness and temerity. + +But how else should I explain my absence? I had hitherto preserved my +lips untainted by prevarication or falsehood. Perhaps there was no +occasion which would justify an untruth; but here, at least, it was +superfluous or hurtful. My disappearance, if effected without notice or +warning, will give birth to speculation and conjecture; but my true +motives will never be suspected, and therefore will excite no fears. My +conduct will not be charged with guilt. It will merely be thought upon +with some regret, which will be alleviated by the opinion of my safety, +and the daily expectation of my return. + +But, since my purpose was to search out Wallace, I must be previously +furnished with directions to the place of his abode, and a description +of his person. Satisfaction on this head was easily obtained from Mr. +Hadwin; who was prevented from suspecting the motives of my curiosity, +by my questions being put in a manner apparently casual. He mentioned +the street, and the number of the house. + +I listened with surprise. It was a house with which I was already +familiar. He resided, it seems, with a merchant. Was it possible for me +to be mistaken? + +What, I asked, was the merchant's name? + +_Thetford._ + +This was a confirmation of my first conjecture. I recollected the +extraordinary means by which I had gained access to the house and +bedchamber of this gentleman. I recalled the person and appearance of +the youth by whose artifices I had been entangled in the snare. These +artifices implied some domestic or confidential connection between +Thetford and my guide. Wallace was a member of the family. Could it be +he by whom I was betrayed? + +Suitable questions easily obtained from Hadwin a description of the +person and carriage of his nephew. Every circumstance evinced the +identity of their persons. Wallace, then, was the engaging and sprightly +youth whom I had encountered at Lesher's; and who, for purposes not +hitherto discoverable, had led me into a situation so romantic and +perilous. + +I was far from suspecting that these purposes were criminal. It was easy +to infer that his conduct proceeded from juvenile wantonness and a love +of sport. My resolution was unaltered by this disclosure; and, having +obtained all the information which I needed, I secretly began my +journey. + +My reflections, on the way, were sufficiently employed in tracing the +consequences of my project; in computing the inconveniences and dangers +to which I was preparing to subject myself; in fortifying my courage +against the influence of rueful sights and abrupt transitions; and in +imagining the measures which it would be proper to pursue in every +emergency. + +Connected as these views were with the family and character of +Thetford, I could not but sometimes advert to those incidents which +formerly happened. The mercantile alliance between him and Welbeck was +remembered; the allusions which were made to the condition of the latter +in the chamber-conversation of which I was an unsuspected auditor; and +the relation which these allusions might possess with subsequent +occurrences. Welbeck's property was forfeited. It had been confided to +the care of Thetford's brother. Had the cause of this forfeiture been +truly or thoroughly explained? Might not contraband articles have been +admitted through the management or under the connivance of the brothers? +and might not the younger Thetford be furnished with the means of +purchasing the captured vessel and her cargo,--which, as usual, would be +sold by auction at a fifth or tenth of its real value? + +Welbeck was not alive to profit by the detection of this artifice, +admitting these conclusions to be just. My knowledge will be useless to +the world; for by what motives can I be influenced to publish the truth? +or by whom will my single testimony be believed, in opposition to that +plausible exterior, and, perhaps, to that general integrity, which +Thetford has maintained? To myself it will not be unprofitable. It is a +lesson on the principles of human nature; on the delusiveness of +appearances; on the perviousness of fraud; and on the power with which +nature has invested human beings over the thoughts and actions of each +other. + +Thetford and his frauds were dismissed from my thoughts, to give place +to considerations relative to Clemenza Lodi, and the money which chance +had thrown into my possession. Time had only confirmed my purpose to +restore these bills to the rightful proprietor, and heightened my +impatience to discover her retreat. I reflected, that the means of doing +this were more likely to suggest themselves at the place to which I was +going than elsewhere. I might, indeed, perish before my views, in this +respect, could be accomplished. Against these evils I had at present no +power to provide. While I lived, I would bear perpetually about me the +volume and its precious contents. If I died, a superior power must +direct the course of this as of all other events. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + + +These meditations did not enfeeble my resolution, or slacken my pace. In +proportion as I drew near the city, the tokens of its calamitous +condition became more apparent. Every farm-house was filled with +supernumerary tenants, fugitives from home, and haunting the skirts of +the road, eager to detain every passenger with inquiries after news. The +passengers were numerous; for the tide of emigration was by no means +exhausted. Some were on foot, bearing in their countenances the tokens +of their recent terror, and filled with mournful reflections on the +forlornness of their state. Few had secured to themselves an asylum; +some were without the means of paying for victuals or lodging for the +coming night; others, who were not thus destitute, yet knew not whither +to apply for entertainment, every house being already overstocked with +inhabitants, or barring its inhospitable doors at their approach. + +Families of weeping mothers and dismayed children, attended with a few +pieces of indispensable furniture, were carried in vehicles of every +form. The parent or husband had perished; and the price of some movable, +or the pittance handed forth by public charity, had been expended to +purchase the means of retiring from this theatre of disasters, though +uncertain and hopeless of accommodation in the neighbouring districts. + +Between these and the fugitives whom curiosity had led to the road, +dialogues frequently took place, to which I was suffered to listen. From +every mouth the tale of sorrow was repeated with new aggravations. +Pictures of their own distress, or of that of their neighbours, were +exhibited in all the hues which imagination can annex to pestilence and +poverty. + +My preconceptions of the evil now appeared to have fallen short of the +truth. The dangers into which I was rushing seemed more numerous and +imminent than I had previously imagined. I wavered not in my purpose. A +panic crept to my heart, which more vehement exertions were necessary to +subdue or control; but I harboured not a momentary doubt that the course +which I had taken was prescribed by duty. There was no difficulty or +reluctance in proceeding. All for which my efforts were demanded was to +walk in this path without tumult or alarm. + +Various circumstances had hindered me from setting out upon this journey +as early as was proper. My frequent pauses to listen to the narratives +of travellers contributed likewise to procrastination. The sun had +nearly set before I reached the precincts of the city. I pursued the +track which I had formerly taken, and entered High Street after +nightfall. Instead of equipages and a throng of passengers, the voice of +levity and glee, which I had formerly observed, and which the mildness +of the season would, at other times, have produced, I found nothing but +a dreary solitude. + +The market-place, and each side of this magnificent avenue, were +illuminated, as before, by lamps; but between the verge of Schuylkill +and the heart of the city I met not more than a dozen figures; and these +were ghost-like, wrapped in cloaks, from behind which they cast upon me +glances of wonder and suspicion, and, as I approached, changed their +course, to avoid touching me. Their clothes were sprinkled with vinegar, +and their nostrils defended from contagion by some powerful perfume. + +I cast a look upon the houses, which I recollected to have formerly +been, at this hour, brilliant with lights, resounding with lively +voices, and thronged with busy faces. Now they were closed, above and +below; dark, and without tokens of being inhabited. From the upper +windows of some, a gleam sometimes fell upon the pavement I was +traversing, and showed that their tenants had not fled, but were +secluded or disabled. + +These tokens were new, and awakened all my panics. Death seemed to +hover over this scene, and I dreaded that the floating pestilence had +already lighted on my frame. I had scarcely overcome these tremors, when +I approached a house the door of which was opened, and before which +stood a vehicle, which I presently recognised to be a _hearse_. + +The driver was seated on it. I stood still to mark his visage, and to +observe the course which he proposed to take. Presently a coffin, borne +by two men, issued from the house. The driver was a negro; but his +companions were white. Their features were marked by ferocious +indifference to danger or pity. One of them, as he assisted in thrusting +the coffin into the cavity provided for it, said, "I'll be damned if I +think the poor dog was quite dead. It wasn't the _fever_ that ailed him, +but the sight of the girl and her mother on the floor. I wonder how they +all got into that room. What carried them there?" + +The other surlily muttered, "Their legs, to-be-sure." + +"But what should they hug together in one room for?" + +"To save us trouble, to-be-sure." + +"And I thank them with all my heart; but, damn it, it wasn't right to +put him in his coffin before the breath was fairly gone. I thought the +last look he gave me told me to stay a few minutes." + +"Pshaw! He could not live. The sooner dead the better for him; as well +as for us. Did you mark how he eyed us when we carried away his wife and +daughter? I never cried in my life, since I was knee-high, but curse me +if I ever felt in better tune for the business than just then. Hey!" +continued he, looking up, and observing me standing a few paces distant, +and listening to their discourse; "what's wanted? Anybody dead?" + +I stayed not to answer or parley, but hurried forward. My joints +trembled, and cold drops stood on my forehead. I was ashamed of my own +infirmity; and, by vigorous efforts of my reason, regained some degree +of composure. The evening had now advanced, and it behooved me to +procure accommodation at some of the inns. + +These were easily distinguished by their _signs_, but many were without +inhabitants. At length I lighted upon one, the hall of which was open +and the windows lifted. After knocking for some time, a young girl +appeared, with many marks of distress. In answer to my question, she +answered that both her parents were sick, and that they could receive no +one. I inquired, in vain, for any other tavern at which strangers might +be accommodated. She knew of none such, and left me, on someone's +calling to her from above, in the midst of my embarrassment. After a +moment's pause, I returned, discomfited and perplexed, to the street. + + +I proceeded, in a considerable degree, at random. At length I reached a +spacious building in Fourth Street, which the signpost showed me to be +an inn. I knocked loudly and often at the door. At length a female +opened the window of the second story, and, in a tone of peevishness, +demanded what I wanted. I told her that I wanted lodging. + +"Go hunt for it somewhere else," said she; "you'll find none here." I +began to expostulate; but she shut the window with quickness, and left +me to my own reflections. + +I began now to feel some regret at the journey I had taken. Never, in +the depth of caverns or forests, was I equally conscious of loneliness. +I was surrounded by the habitations of men; but I was destitute of +associate or friend. I had money, but a horse-shelter, or a morsel of +food, could not be purchased. I came for the purpose of relieving +others, but stood in the utmost need myself. Even in health my condition +was helpless and forlorn; but what would become of me should this fatal +malady be contracted? To hope that an asylum would be afforded to a sick +man, which was denied to one in health, was unreasonable. + +The first impulse which flowed from these reflections was to hasten back +to _Malverton_; which, with sufficient diligence, I might hope to regain +before the morning light. I could not, methought, return upon my steps +with too much speed. I was prompted to run, as if the pest was rushing +upon me and could be eluded only by the most precipitate flight. + +This impulse was quickly counteracted by new ideas. I thought with +indignation and shame on the imbecility of my proceeding. I called up +the images of Susan Hadwin, and of Wallace. I reviewed the motives which +had led me to the undertaking of this journey. Time had, by no means, +diminished their force. I had, indeed, nearly arrived at the +accomplishment of what I had intended. A few steps would carry me to +Thetford's habitation. This might be the critical moment when succour +was most needed and would be most efficacious. + +I had previously concluded to defer going thither till the ensuing +morning; but why should I allow myself a moment's delay? I might at +least gain an external view of the house, and circumstances might arise +which would absolve me from the obligation of remaining an hour longer +in the city. All for which I came might be performed; the destiny of +Wallace be ascertained; and I be once more safe within the precincts of +_Malverton_ before the return of day. + +I immediately directed my steps towards the habitation of Thetford. +Carriages bearing the dead were frequently discovered. A few passengers +likewise occurred, whose hasty and perturbed steps denoted their +participation in the common distress. The house of which I was in quest +quickly appeared. Light from an upper window indicated that it was still +inhabited. + +I paused a moment to reflect in what manner it became me to proceed. To +ascertain the existence and condition of Wallace was the purpose of my +journey. He had inhabited this house; and whether he remained in it was +now to be known. I felt repugnance to enter, since my safety might, by +entering, be unawares and uselessly endangered. Most of the neighbouring +houses were apparently deserted. In some there were various tokens of +people being within. Might I not inquire, at one of these, respecting +the condition of Thetford's family? Yet why should I disturb them by +inquiries so impertinent at this unseasonable hour? To knock at +Thetford's door, and put my questions to him who should obey the signal, +was the obvious method. + +I knocked dubiously and lightly. No one came. I knocked again, and more +loudly; I likewise drew the bell. I distinctly heard its distant peals. +If any were within, my signal could not fail to be noticed. I paused, +and listened, but neither voice nor footsteps could be heard. The light, +though obscured by window-curtains, which seemed to be drawn close, was +still perceptible. + +I ruminated on the causes that might hinder my summons from being +obeyed. I figured to myself nothing but the helplessness of disease, or +the insensibility of death. These images only urged me to persist in +endeavouring to obtain admission. Without weighing the consequences of +my act, I involuntarily lifted the latch. The door yielded to my hand, +and I put my feet within the passage. + +Once more I paused. The passage was of considerable extent, and at the +end of it I perceived light as from a lamp or candle. This impelled me +to go forward, till I reached the foot of a staircase. A candle stood +upon the lowest step. + +This was a new proof that the house was not deserted. I struck my heel +against the floor with some violence; but this, like my former signals, +was unnoticed. Having proceeded thus far, it would have been absurd to +retire with my purpose uneffected. Taking the candle in my hand, I +opened a door that was near. It led into a spacious parlour, furnished +with profusion and splendour. I walked to and fro, gazing at the objects +which presented themselves; and, involved in perplexity, I knocked with +my heel louder than ever; but no less ineffectually. + +Notwithstanding the lights which I had seen, it was possible that the +house was uninhabited. This I was resolved to ascertain, by proceeding +to the chamber which I had observed, from without, to be illuminated. +This chamber, as far as the comparison of circumstances would permit me +to decide, I believed to be the same in which I had passed the first +night of my late abode in the city. Now was I, a second time, in almost +equal ignorance of my situation, and of the consequences which impended, +exploring my way to the same recess. + +I mounted the stair. As I approached the door of which I was in search, +a vapour, infectious and deadly, assailed my senses. It resembled +nothing of which I had ever before been sensible. Many odours had been +met with, even since my arrival in the city, less supportable than this. +I seemed not so much to smell as to taste the element that now +encompassed me. I felt as if I had inhaled a poisonous and subtle fluid, +whose power instantly bereft my stomach of all vigour. Some fatal +influence appeared to seize upon my vitals, and the work of corrosion +and decomposition to be busily begun. + +For a moment, I doubted whether imagination had not some share in +producing my sensation; but I had not been previously panic-struck; and +even now I attended to my own sensations without mental discomposure. +That I had imbibed this disease was not to be questioned. So far the +chances in my favour were annihilated. The lot of sickness was drawn. + +Whether my case would be lenient or malignant, whether I should recover +or perish, was to be left to the decision of the future. This incident, +instead of appalling me, tended rather to invigorate my courage. The +danger which I feared had come. I might enter with indifference on this +theatre of pestilence. I might execute, without faltering, the duties +that my circumstances might create. My state was no longer hazardous; +and my destiny would be totally uninfluenced by my future conduct. + +The pang with which I was first seized, and the momentary inclination to +vomit, which it produced, presently subsided. My wholesome feelings, +indeed, did not revisit me, but strength to proceed was restored to me. +The effluvia became more sensible as I approached the door of the +chamber. The door was ajar; and the light within was perceived. My +belief that those within were dead was presently confuted by sound, +which I first supposed to be that of steps moving quickly and timorously +across the floor. This ceased, and was succeeded by sounds of different +but inexplicable import. + +Having entered the apartment, I saw a candle on the hearth. A table was +covered with vials and other apparatus of a sick-chamber. A bed stood on +one side, the curtain of which was dropped at the foot, so as to conceal +any one within. I fixed my eyes upon this object. There were sufficient +tokens that some one lay upon the bed. Breath, drawn at long intervals; +mutterings scarcely audible; and a tremulous motion in the bedstead, +were fearful and intelligible indications. + +If my heart faltered, it must not be supposed that my trepidations arose +from any selfish considerations. Wallace only, the object of my search, +was present to my fancy. Pervaded with remembrance of the Hadwins; of +the agonies which they had already endured; of the despair which would +overwhelm the unhappy Susan when the death of her lover should be +ascertained; observant of the lonely condition of this house, whence I +could only infer that the sick had been denied suitable attendance; and +reminded, by the symptoms that appeared, that this being was struggling +with the agonies of death; a sickness of the heart, more insupportable +than that which I had just experienced, stole upon me. + +My fancy readily depicted the progress and completion of this tragedy. +Wallace was the first of the family on whom the pestilence had seized. +Thetford had fled from his habitation. Perhaps as a father and husband, +to shun the danger attending his stay was the injunction of his duty. It +was questionless the conduct which selfish regards would dictate. +Wallace was left to perish alone; or, perhaps, (which, indeed, was a +supposition somewhat justified by appearances,) he had been left to the +tendance of mercenary wretches; by whom, at this desperate moment, he +had been abandoned. + +I was not mindless of the possibility that these forebodings, specious +as they were, might be false. The dying person might be some other than +Wallace. The whispers of my hope were, indeed, faint; but they, at +least, prompted me to snatch a look at the expiring man. For this +purpose I advanced and thrust my head within the curtain. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + + +The features of one whom I had seen so transiently as Wallace may be +imagined to be not easily recognised, especially when those features +were tremulous and deathful. Here, however, the differences were too +conspicuous to mislead me. I beheld one in whom I could recollect none +that bore resemblance. Though ghastly and livid, the traces of +intelligence and beauty were undefaced. The life of Wallace was of more +value to a feeble individual; but surely the being that was stretched +before me, and who was hastening to his last breath, was precious to +thousands. + +Was he not one in whose place I would willingly have died? The offering +was too late. His extremities were already cold. A vapour, noisome and +contagious, hovered over him. The flutterings of his pulse had ceased. +His existence was about to close amidst convulsion and pangs. + +I withdrew my gaze from this object, and walked to a table. I was nearly +unconscious of my movements. My thoughts were occupied with +contemplations of the train of horrors and disasters that pursue the +race of man. My musings were quickly interrupted by the sight of a small +cabinet, the hinges of which were broken and the lid half raised. In the +present state of my thoughts, I was prone to suspect the worst. Here +were traces of pillage. Some casual or mercenary attendant had not only +contributed to hasten the death of the patient, but had rifled his +property and fled. + +This suspicion would, perhaps, have yielded to mature reflections, if I +had been suffered to reflect. A moment scarcely elapsed, when some +appearance in the mirror, which hung over the table, called my +attention. It was a human figure. Nothing could be briefer than the +glance that I fixed upon this apparition; yet there was room enough for +the vague conception to suggest itself, that the dying man had started +from his bed and was approaching me. This belief was, at the same +instant, confuted, by the survey of his form and garb. One eye, a scar +upon his cheek, a tawny skin, a form grotesquely misproportioned, brawny +as Hercules, and habited in livery, composed, as it were, the parts of +one view. + +To perceive, to fear, and to confront this apparition were blended into +one sentiment. I turned towards him with the swiftness of lightning; but +my speed was useless to my safety. A blow upon my temple was succeeded +by an utter oblivion of thought and of feeling. I sunk upon the floor +prostrate and senseless. + +My insensibility might be mistaken by observers for death, yet some part +of this interval was haunted by a fearful dream. I conceived myself +lying on the brink of a pit, whose bottom the eye could not reach. My +hands and legs were fettered, so as to disable me from resisting two +grim and gigantic figures who stooped to lift me from the earth. Their +purpose, methought, was to cast me into this abyss. My terrors were +unspeakable, and I struggled with such force, that my bonds snapped and +I found myself at liberty. At this moment my senses returned, and I +opened my eyes. + +The memory of recent events was, for a time, effaced by my visionary +horrors. I was conscious of transition from one state of being to +another; but my imagination was still filled with images of danger. The +bottomless gulf and my gigantic persecutors were still dreaded. I looked +up with eagerness. Beside me I discovered three figures, whose character +or office was explained by a coffin of pine boards which lay upon the +floor. One stood with hammer and nails in his hand, as ready to replace +and fasten the lid of the coffin as soon as its burden should be +received. + +I attempted to rise from the floor, but my head was dizzy and my sight +confused. Perceiving me revive, one of the men assisted me to regain my +feet. The mist and confusion presently vanished, so as to allow me to +stand unsupported and to move. I once more gazed at my attendants, and +recognised the three men whom I had met in High Street, and whose +conversation I have mentioned that I overheard. I looked again upon the +coffin. A wavering recollection of the incidents that led me hither, and +of the stunning blow which I had received, occurred to me. I saw into +what error appearances had misled these men, and shuddered to reflect by +what hairbreadth means I had escaped being buried alive. + +Before the men had time to interrogate me, or to comment upon my +situation, one entered the apartment, whose habit and mien tended to +encourage me. The stranger was characterized by an aspect full of +composure and benignity, a face in which the serious lines of age were +blended with the ruddiness and smoothness of youth, and a garb that +bespoke that religious profession with whose benevolent doctrines the +example of Hadwin had rendered me familiar. + +On observing me on my feet, he betrayed marks of surprise and +satisfaction. He addressed me in a tone of mildness:-- + +"Young man," said he, "what is thy condition? Art thou sick? If thou +art, thou must consent to receive the best treatment which the times +will afford. These men will convey thee to the hospital at Bush Hill." + +The mention of that contagious and abhorred receptacle inspired me with +some degree of energy. "No," said I, "I am not sick; a violent blow +reduced me to this situation. I shall presently recover strength enough +to leave this spot without assistance." + +He looked at me with an incredulous but compassionate air:--"I fear thou +dost deceive thyself or me. The necessity of going to the hospital is +much to be regretted, but, on the whole, it is best. Perhaps, indeed, +thou hast kindred or friends who will take care of thee?" + +"No," said I; "neither kindred nor friends. I am a stranger in the city. +I do not even know a single being." + +"Alas!" returned the stranger, with a sigh, "thy state is sorrowful. +But how camest thou hither?" continued he, looking around him; "and +whence comest thou?" + +"I came from the country. I reached the city a few hours ago. I was in +search of a friend who lived in this house." + +"Thy undertaking was strangely hazardous and rash; but who is the friend +thou seekest? Was it he who died in that bed, and whose corpse has just +been removed?" + +The men now betrayed some impatience; and inquired of the last comer, +whom they called Mr. Estwick, what they were to do. He turned to me, and +asked if I were willing to be conducted to the hospital. + +I assured him that I was free from disease, and stood in no need of +assistance; adding, that my feebleness was owing to a stunning blow +received from a ruffian on my temple. The marks of this blow were +conspicuous, and after some hesitation he dismissed the men; who, +lifting the empty coffin on their shoulders, disappeared. + +He now invited me to descend into the parlour; "for," said he, "the air +of this room is deadly. I feel already as if I should have reason to +repent of having entered it." + +He now inquired into the cause of those appearances which he had +witnessed. I explained my situation as clearly and succinctly as I was +able. + +After pondering, in silence, on my story,--"I see how it is," said he; +"the person whom thou sawest in the agonies of death was a stranger. He +was attended by his servant and a hired nurse. His master's death being +certain, the nurse was despatched by the servant to procure a coffin. He +probably chose that opportunity to rifle his master's trunk, that stood +upon the table. Thy unseasonable entrance interrupted him; and he +designed, by the blow which he gave thee, to secure his retreat before +the arrival of a hearse. I know the man, and the apparition thou hast so +well described was his. Thou sayest that a friend of thine lived in this +house: thou hast come too late to be of service. The whole family have +perished. Not one was suffered to escape." + +This intelligence was fatal to my hopes. It required some efforts to +subdue my rising emotions. Compassion not only for Wallace, but for +Thetford, his father, his wife and his child, caused a passionate +effusion of tears. I was ashamed of this useless and childlike +sensibility; and attempted to apologize to my companion. The sympathy, +however, had proved contagious, and the stranger turned away his face to +hide his own tears. + +"Nay," said he, in answer to my excuses, "there is no need to be ashamed +of thy emotion. Merely to have known this family, and to have witnessed +their deplorable fate, is sufficient to melt the most obdurate heart. I +suspect that thou wast united to some one of this family by ties of +tenderness like those which led the unfortunate _Maravegli_ hither." + +This suggestion was attended, in relation to myself, with some degree of +obscurity; but my curiosity was somewhat excited by the name that he had +mentioned, I inquired into the character and situation of this person, +and particularly respecting his connection with this family. + +"Maravegli," answered he, "was the lover of the eldest daughter, and +already betrothed to her. The whole family, consisting of helpless +females, had placed themselves under his peculiar guardianship. Mary +Walpole and her children enjoyed in him a husband and a father." + +The name of Walpole, to which I was a stranger, suggested doubts which I +hastened to communicate. "I am in search," said I, "not of a female +friend, though not devoid of interest in the welfare of Thetford and his +family. My principal concern is for a youth, by name Wallace." + +He looked at me with surprise. "Thetford! this is not his abode. He +changed his habitation some weeks previous to the _fever_. Those who +last dwelt under this roof were an Englishwoman and seven daughters." + +This detection of my error somewhat consoled me. It was still possible +that Wallace was alive and in safety. I eagerly inquired whither +Thetford had removed, and whether he had any knowledge of his present +condition. + +They had removed to No.--, in Market Street. Concerning their state he +knew nothing. His acquaintance with Thetford was imperfect. Whether he +had left the city or had remained, he was wholly uninformed. + +It became me to ascertain the truth in these respects. I was preparing +to offer my parting thanks to the person by whom I had been so highly +benefited; since, as he now informed me, it was by his interposition +that I was hindered from being enclosed alive in a coffin. He was +dubious of my true condition, and peremptorily commanded the followers +of the hearse to desist. A delay of twenty minutes, and some medical +application, would, he believed, determine whether my life was +extinguished or suspended. At the end of this time, happily, my senses +were recovered. + +Seeing my intention to depart, he inquired why, and whither I was going. +Having heard my answer,--"Thy design," resumed he, "is highly indiscreet +and rash. Nothing will sooner generate this fever than fatigue and +anxiety. Thou hast scarcely recovered from the blow so lately received. +Instead of being useful to others, this precipitation will only disable +thyself. Instead of roaming the streets and inhaling this unwholesome +air, thou hadst better betake thyself to bed and try to obtain some +sleep. In the morning, thou wilt be better qualified to ascertain the +fate of thy friend, and afford him the relief which he shall want." + +I could not but admit the reasonableness of these remonstrances; but +where should a chamber and bed be sought? It was not likely that a new +attempt to procure accommodation at the inns would succeed better than +the former. + +"Thy state," replied he, "is sorrowful. I have no house to which I can +lead thee. I divide my chamber, and even my bed, with another, and my +landlady could not be prevailed upon to admit a stranger. What thou wilt +do, I know not. This house has no one to defend it. It was purchased and +furnished by the last possessor; but the whole family, including +mistress, children, and servants, were cut off in a single week. +Perhaps no one in America can claim the property. Meanwhile, plunderers +are numerous and active. A house thus totally deserted, and replenished +with valuable furniture, will, I fear, become their prey. To-night +nothing can be done towards rendering it secure, but staying in it. Art +thou willing to remain here till the morrow? + +"Every bed in the house has probably sustained a dead person. It would +not be proper, therefore, to lie in any one of them. Perhaps thou mayest +find some repose upon this carpet. It is, at least, better than the +harder pavement and the open air." + +This proposal, after some hesitation, I embraced. He was preparing to +leave me, promising, if life were spared to him, to return early in the +morning. My curiosity respecting the person whose dying agonies I had +witnessed prompted me to detain him a few minutes. + +"Ah!" said he, "this, perhaps, is the only one of many victims to this +pestilence whose loss the remotest generations may have reason to +deplore. He was the only descendant of an illustrious house of Venice. +He has been devoted from his childhood to the acquisition of knowledge +and the practice of virtue. He came hither as an enlightened observer; +and, after traversing the country, conversing with all the men in it +eminent for their talents or their office, and collecting a fund of +observations whose solidity and justice have seldom been paralleled, he +embarked, three months ago, for Europe. + +"Previously to his departure, he formed a tender connection with the +eldest daughter of this family. The mother and her children had recently +arrived from England. So many faultless women, both mentally and +personally considered, it was not my fortune to meet with before. This +youth well deserved to be adopted into this family. He proposed to +return with the utmost expedition to his native country, and, after the +settlement of his affairs, to hasten back to America and ratify his +contract with Fanny Walpole. + +"The ship in which he embarked had scarcely gone twenty leagues to sea, +before she was disabled by a storm, and obliged to return to port. He +posted to New York, to gain a passage in a packet shortly to sail. +Meanwhile this malady prevailed among us. Mary Walpole pole was hindered +by her ignorance of the nature of that evil which assailed us, and the +counsel of injudicious friends, from taking the due precautions for her +safety. She hesitated to fly till flight was rendered impracticable. Her +death added to the helplessness and distraction of the family. They were +successively seized and destroyed by the same pest. + +"Maravegli was apprized of their danger. He allowed the packet to depart +without him, and hastened to rescue the Walpoles from the perils which +encompassed them. He arrived in this city time enough to witness the +interment of the last survivor. In the same hour he was seized himself +by this disease: the catastrophe is known to thee. + +"I will now leave thee to thy repose. Sleep is no less needful to myself +than to thee; for this is the second night which has passed without it." +Saying this, my companion took his leave. + +I now enjoyed leisure to review my situation. I experienced no +inclination to sleep. I lay down for a moment, but my comfortless +sensations and restless contemplations would not permit me to rest. +Before I entered this house, I was tormented with hunger; but my craving +had given place to inquietude and loathing. I paced, in thoughtful and +anxious mood, across the floor of the apartment. + +I mused upon the incidents related by Estwick, upon the exterminating +nature of this pestilence, and on the horrors of which it was +productive. I compared the experience of the last hours with those +pictures which my imagination had drawn in the retirements of +_Malverton_. I wondered at the contrariety that exists between the +scenes of the city and the country; and fostered, with more zeal than +ever, the resolution to avoid those seats of depravity and danger. + +Concerning my own destiny, however, I entertained no doubt. My new +sensations assured me that my stomach had received this corrosive +poison. Whether I should die or live was easily decided. The sickness +which assiduous attendance and powerful prescriptions might remove +would, by negligence and solitude, be rendered fatal; but from whom +could I expect medical or friendly treatment? + +I had indeed a roof over my head. I should not perish in the public way; +but what was my ground for hoping to continue under this roof? My +sickness being suspected, I should be dragged in a cart to the hospital; +where I should, indeed, die, but not with the consolation of loneliness +and silence. Dying groans were the only music, and livid corpses were +the only spectacle, to which I should there be introduced. + +Immured in these dreary meditations, the night passed away. The light +glancing through the window awakened in my bosom a gleam of +cheerfulness. Contrary to my expectations, my feelings were not more +distempered, notwithstanding my want of sleep, than on the last evening. +This was a token that my state was far from being so desperate as I +suspected. It was possible, I thought, that this was the worst +indisposition to which I was liable. + +Meanwhile, the coming of Estwick was impatiently expected. The sun +arose, and the morning advanced, but he came not. I remembered that he +talked of having reason to repent his visit to this house. Perhaps he, +likewise, was sick, and this was the cause of his delay. This man's +kindness had even my love. If I had known the way to his dwelling, I +should have hastened thither, to inquire into his condition, and to +perform for him every office that humanity might enjoin; but he had not +afforded me any information on that head. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + + +It was now incumbent on me to seek the habitation of Thetford. To leave +this house accessible to every passenger appeared to be imprudent. I had +no key by which I might lock the principal door. I therefore bolted it +on the inside, and passed through a window, the shutters of which I +closed, though I could not fasten after me. This led me into a spacious +court, at the end of which was a brick wall, over which I leaped into +the street. This was the means by which I had formerly escaped from the +same precincts. + +The streets, as I passed, were desolate and silent. The largest +computation made the number of fugitives two-thirds of the whole people; +yet, judging by the universal desolation, it seemed as if the solitude +were nearly absolute. That so many of the houses were closed, I was +obliged to ascribe to the cessation of traffic, which made the opening +of their windows useless, and the terror of infection, which made the +inhabitants seclude themselves from the observation of each other. + +I proceeded to search out the house to which Estwick had directed me as +the abode of Thetford. What was my consternation when I found it to be +the same at the door of which the conversation took place of which I had +been an auditor on the last evening! + +I recalled the scene of which a rude sketch had been given by the +_hearse-men_. If such were the fate of the master of the family, +abounding with money and friends, what could be hoped for the moneyless +and friendless Wallace? The house appeared to be vacant and silent; but +these tokens might deceive. There was little room for hope; but +certainty was wanting, and might, perhaps, be obtained by entering the +house. In some of the upper rooms a wretched being might be immured; by +whom the information, so earnestly desired, might be imparted, and to +whom my presence might bring relief, not only from pestilence, but +famine. For a moment, I forgot my own necessitous condition, and +reflected not that abstinence had already undermined my strength. + +I proceeded to knock at the door. That my signal was unnoticed produced +no surprise. The door was unlocked, and I opened. At this moment my +attention was attracted by the opening of another door near me. I +looked, and perceived a man issuing forth from a house at a small +distance. + +It now occurred to me, that the information which I sought might +possibly be gained from one of Thetford's neighbours. This person was +aged, but seemed to have lost neither cheerfulness nor vigour. He had an +air of intrepidity and calmness. It soon appeared that I was the object +of his curiosity. He had, probably, marked my deportment through some +window of his dwelling, and had come forth to make inquiries into the +motives of my conduct. + +He courteously saluted me. "You seem," said he, "to be in search of some +one. If I can afford you the information you want, you will be welcome +to it." + +Encouraged by this address, I mentioned the name of Thetford; and added +my fears that he had not escaped the general calamity. + +"It is true," said he. "Yesterday himself, his wife, and his child, were +in a hopeless condition. I saw them in the evening, and expected not to +find them alive this morning. As soon as it was light, however, I +visited the house again; but found it empty. I suppose they must have +died, and been removed in the night." + +Though anxious to ascertain the destiny of Wallace, I was unwilling to +put direct questions. I shuddered, while I longed to know the truth. + +"Why," said I, falteringly, "did he not seasonably withdraw from the +city? Surely he had the means of purchasing an asylum in the country." + +"I can scarcely tell you," he answered. "Some infatuation appeared to +have seized him. No one was more timorous; but he seemed to think +himself safe as long as he avoided contact with infected persons. He was +likewise, I believe, detained by a regard to his interest. His flight +would not have been more injurious to his affairs than it was to those +of others; but gain was, in his eyes, the supreme good. He intended +ultimately to withdraw; but his escape to-day, gave him new courage to +encounter the perils of to-morrow. He deferred his departure from day to +day, till it ceased to be practicable." + +"His family," said I, "was numerous. It consisted of more than his wife +and children. Perhaps these retired in sufficient season." + +"Yes," said he; "his father left the house at an early period. One or +two of the servants likewise forsook him. One girl, more faithful and +heroic than the rest, resisted the remonstrances of her parents and +friends, and resolved to adhere to him in every fortune. She was anxious +that the family should fly from danger, and would willingly have fled in +their company; but while they stayed, it was her immovable resolution +not to abandon them. + +"Alas, poor girl! She knew not of what stuff the heart of Thetford was +made. Unhappily, she was the first to become sick. I question much +whether her disease was pestilential. It was, probably, a slight +indisposition, which, in a few days, would have vanished of itself, or +have readily yielded to suitable treatment. + +"Thetford was transfixed with terror. Instead of summoning a physician, +to ascertain the nature of her symptoms, he called a negro and his cart +from Bush Hill. In vain the neighbours interceded for this unhappy +victim. In vain she implored his clemency, and asserted the lightness of +her indisposition. She besought him to allow her to send to her mother, +who resided a few miles in the country, who would hasten to her succour, +and relieve him and his family from the danger and trouble of nursing +her. + +"The man was lunatic with apprehension. He rejected her entreaties, +though urged in a manner that would have subdued a heart of flint. The +girl was innocent, and amiable, and courageous, but entertained an +unconquerable dread of the hospital. Finding entreaties ineffectual, she +exerted all her strength in opposition to the man who lifted her into +the cart. + +"Finding that her struggles availed nothing, she resigned herself to +despair. In going to the hospital, she believed herself led to certain +death, and to the sufferance of every evil which the known inhumanity of +its attendants could inflict. This state of mind, added to exposure to a +noonday sun, in an open vehicle, moving, for a mile, over a rugged +pavement, was sufficient to destroy her. I was not surprised to hear +that she died the next day. + +"This proceeding was sufficiently iniquitous; yet it was not the worst +act of this man. The rank and education of the young woman might be some +apology for negligence; but his clerk, a youth who seemed to enjoy his +confidence, and to be treated by his family on the footing of a brother +or son, fell sick on the next night, and was treated in the same +manner." + +These tidings struck me to the heart. A burst of indignation and sorrow +filled my eyes. I could scarcely stifle my emotions sufficiently to ask, +"Of whom, sir, do you speak? Was the name of the youth--his +name--was----" + +"His name was Wallace. I see that you have some interest in his fate. He +was one whom I loved. I would have given half my fortune to procure him +accommodation under some hospitable roof. His attack was violent; but, +still, his recovery, if he had been suitably attended, was possible. +That he should survive removal to the hospital, and the treatment he +must receive when there, was not to be hoped. + +"The conduct of Thetford was as absurd as it was wicked. To imagine the +disease to be contagious was the height of folly; to suppose himself +secure, merely by not permitting a sick man to remain under his roof, +was no less stupid; but Thetford's fears had subverted his +understanding. He did not listen to arguments or supplications. His +attention was incapable of straying from one object. To influence him by +words was equivalent to reasoning with the deaf. + +"Perhaps the wretch was more to be pitied than hated. The victims of his +implacable caution could scarcely have endured agonies greater than +those which his pusillanimity inflicted on himself. Whatever be the +amount of his guilt, the retribution has been adequate. He witnessed the +death of his wife and child, and last night was the close of his own +existence. Their sole attendant was a black woman; whom, by frequent +visits, I endeavoured, with little success, to make diligent in the +performance of her duty." + +Such, then, was the catastrophe of Wallace. The end for which I +journeyed hither was accomplished. His destiny was ascertained; and all +that remained was to fulfil the gloomy predictions of the lovely but +unhappy Susan. To tell them all the truth would be needlessly to +exasperate her sorrow. Time, aided by the tenderness and sympathy of +friendship, may banish her despair, and relieve her from all but the +witcheries of melancholy. + +Having disengaged my mind from these reflections, I explained to my +companion, in general terms, my reasons for visiting the city, and my +curiosity respecting. Thetford. He inquired into the particulars of my +journey, and the time of my arrival. When informed that I had come in +the preceding evening, and had passed the subsequent hours without sleep +or food, he expressed astonishment and compassion. + +"Your undertaking," said he, "has certainly been hazardous. There is +poison in every breath which you draw, but this hazard has been greatly +increased by abstaining from food and sleep. My advice is to hasten back +into the country; but you must first take some repose and some victuals. +If you pass Schuylkill before nightfall, it will be sufficient." + +I mentioned the difficulty of procuring accommodation on the road. It +would be most prudent to set out upon my journey so as to reach +_Malverton_ at night. As to food and sleep, they were not to be +purchased in this city. + +"True," answered my companion, with quickness, "they are not to be +bought; but I will furnish you with as much as you desire of both, for +nothing. That is my abode," continued he, pointing to the house which he +had lately left. "I reside with a widow lady and her daughter, who took +my counsel, and fled in due season. I remain to moralize upon the scene, +with only a faithful black, who makes my bed, prepares my coffee, and +bakes my loaf. If I am sick, all that a physician can do, I will do for +myself, and all that a nurse can perform, I expect to be performed by +_Austin_. + +"Come with me, drink some coffee, rest a while on my mattress, and then +fly, with my benedictions on your head." + +These words were accompanied by features disembarrassed and benevolent. +My temper is alive to social impulses, and I accepted his invitation, +not so much because I wished to eat or to sleep, but because I felt +reluctance to part so soon with a being who possessed so much fortitude +and virtue. + +He was surrounded by neatness and plenty. Austin added dexterity to +submissiveness. My companion, whose name I now found to be Medlicote, +was prone to converse, and commented on the state of the city like one +whose reading had been extensive and experience large. He combated an +opinion which I had casually formed respecting the origin of this +epidemic, and imputed it, not to infected substances imported from the +East or West, but to a morbid constitution of the atmosphere, owing +wholly or in part to filthy streets, airless habitations, and squalid +persons. + +As I talked with this man, the sense of danger was obliterated, I felt +confidence revive in my heart, and energy revisit my stomach. Though far +from my wonted health, my sensation grew less comfortless, and I found +myself to stand in no need of repose. + +Breakfast being finished, my friend pleaded his daily engagements as +reasons for leaving me. He counselled me to strive for some repose, but +I was conscious of incapacity to sleep. I was desirous of escaping, as +soon as possible, from this tainted atmosphere, and reflected whether +any thing remained to be done respecting Wallace. + +It now occurred to me that this youth must have left some clothes and +papers, and, perhaps, books. The property of these was now vested in the +Hadwins. I might deem myself, without presumption, their representative +or agent. Might I not take some measures for obtaining possession, or at +least for the security, of these articles? + +The house and its furniture were tenantless and unprotected. It was +liable to be ransacked and pillaged by those desperate ruffians of whom +many were said to be hunting for spoil even at a time like this. If +these should overlook this dwelling, Thetford's unknown successor or +heir might appropriate the whole. Numberless accidents might happen to +occasion the destruction or embezzlement of what belonged to Wallace, +which might be prevented by the conduct which I should now pursue. + +Immersed in these perplexities, I remained bewildered and motionless. I +was at length roused by some one knocking at the door. Austin obeyed the +signal, and instantly returned, leading in--Mr. Hadwin! + +I know not whether this unlooked-for interview excited on my part most +grief or surprise. The motive of his coming was easily divined. His +journey was on two accounts superfluous. He whom he sought was dead. The +duty of ascertaining his condition I had assigned to myself. + +I now perceived and deplored the error of which I had been guilty, in +concealing my intended journey from my patron. Ignorant of the part I +had acted, he had rushed into the jaws of this pest, and endangered a +life unspeakably valuable to his children and friends. I should +doubtless have obtained his grateful consent to the project which I had +conceived; but my wretched policy had led me into this clandestine path. +Secrecy may seldom be a crime. A virtuous intention may produce it; but +surely it is always erroneous and pernicious. + +My friend's astonishment at the sight of me was not inferior to my own. +The causes which led to this unexpected interview were mutually +explained. To soothe the agonies of his child, he consented to approach +the city, and endeavour to procure intelligence of Wallace. When he +left his house, he intended to stop in the environs, and hire some +emissary, whom an ample reward might tempt to enter the city, and +procure the information which was needed. + +No one could be prevailed upon to execute so dangerous a service. Averse +to return without performing his commission, he concluded to examine for +himself. Thetford's removal to this street was known to him; but, being +ignorant of my purpose, he had not mentioned this circumstance to me, +during our last conversation. + +I was sensible of the danger which Hadwin had incurred by entering the +city. Perhaps my knowledge of the inexpressible importance of his life +to the happiness of his daughters made me aggravate his danger. I knew +that the longer he lingered in this tainted air, the hazard was +increased. A moment's delay was unnecessary. Neither Wallace nor myself +were capable of being benefited by his presence. + +I mentioned the death of his nephew as a reason for hastening his +departure. I urged him in the most vehement terms to remount his horse +and to fly; I endeavoured to preclude all inquiries respecting myself or +Wallace; promising to follow him immediately, and answer all his +questions at _Malverton_. My importunities were enforced by his own +fears, and, after a moment's hesitation, he rode away. + +The emotions produced by this incident were, in the present critical +state of my frame, eminently hurtful. My morbid indications suddenly +returned. I had reason to ascribe my condition to my visit to the +chamber of Maravegli; but this and its consequences to myself, as well +as the journey of Hadwin, were the fruits of my unhappy secrecy. + +I had always been accustomed to perform my journeys on foot. This, on +ordinary occasions, was the preferable method, but now I ought to have +adopted the easiest and swiftest means. If Hadwin had been acquainted +with my purpose he would not only have approved, but would have allowed +me, the use of a horse. These reflections were rendered less pungent by +the recollection that my motives were benevolent, and that I had +endeavoured the benefit of others by means which appeared to me most +suitable. + +Meanwhile, how was I to proceed? What hindered me from pursuing the +footsteps of Hadwin with all the expedition which my uneasiness, of +brain and stomach, would allow? I conceived that to leave any thing +undone, with regard to Wallace, would be absurd. His property might be +put under the care of my new friend. But how was it to be distinguished +from the property of others? It was, probably, contained in trunks, +which were designated by some label or mark. I was unacquainted with his +chamber, but, by passing from one to the other, I might finally discover +it. Some token, directing my footsteps, might occur, though at present +unforeseen. + +Actuated by these considerations, I once more entered Thetford's +habitation. I regretted that I had not procured the counsel or +attendance of my new friend; but some engagements, the nature of which +he did not explain, occasioned him to leave me as soon as breakfast was +finished. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + + +I wandered over this deserted mansion, in a considerable degree, at +random. Effluvia of a pestilential nature assailed me from every corner. +In the front room of the second story, I imagined that I discovered +vestiges of that catastrophe which the past night had produced. The bed +appeared as if some one had recently been dragged from it. The sheets +were tinged with yellow, and with that substance which is said to be +characteristic of this disease, the gangrenous or black vomit. The floor +exhibited similar stains. + +There are many who will regard my conduct as the last refinement of +temerity, or of heroism. Nothing, indeed, more perplexes me than a +review of my own conduct. Not, indeed, that death is an object always to +be dreaded, or that my motive did not justify my actions; but of all +dangers, those allied to pestilence, by being mysterious and unseen, are +the most formidable. To disarm them of their terrors requires the +longest familiarity. Nurses and physicians soonest become intrepid or +indifferent; but the rest of mankind recoil from the scene with +unconquerable loathing. + +I was sustained, not by confidence of safety, and a belief of exemption +from this malady, or by the influence of habit, which inures us to all +that is detestable or perilous, but by a belief that this was as +eligible an avenue to death as any other; and that life is a trivial +sacrifice in the cause of duty. + +I passed from one room to the other. A portmanteau, marked with the +initials of Wallace's name, at length attracted my notice. From this +circumstance I inferred that this apartment had been occupied by him. +The room was neatly arranged, and appeared as if no one had lately used +it. There were trunks and drawers. That which I have mentioned was the +only one that bore marks of Wallace's ownership. This I lifted in my +arms with a view to remove it to Medlicote's house. + +At that moment, methought I heard a footstep slowly and lingeringly +ascending the stair. I was disconcerted at this incident. The footstep +had in it a ghost-like solemnity and tardiness. This phantom vanished in +a moment, and yielded place to more humble conjectures. A human being +approached, whose office and commission were inscrutable. That we were +strangers to each other was easily imagined; but how would my +appearance, in this remote chamber, and loaded with another's property, +be interpreted? Did he enter the house after me, or was he the tenant of +some chamber hitherto unvisited; whom my entrance had awakened from his +trance and called from his couch? + +In the confusion of my mind, I still held my burden uplifted. To have +placed it on the floor, and encountered this visitant, without this +equivocal token about me, was the obvious proceeding. Indeed, time only +could decide whether these footsteps tended to this, or to some other, +apartment. + +My doubts were quickly dispelled. The door opened, and a figure glided +in. The portmanteau dropped from my arms, and my heart's blood was +chilled. If an apparition of the dead were possible, (and that +possibility I could not deny,) this was such an apparition. A hue, +yellowish and livid; bones, uncovered with flesh; eyes, ghastly, hollow, +woe-begone, and fixed in an agony of wonder upon me; and locks, matted +and negligent, constituted the image which I now beheld. My belief of +somewhat preternatural in this appearance was confirmed by recollection +of resemblances between these features and those of one who was dead. In +this shape and visage, shadowy and death-like as they were, the +lineaments of Wallace, of him who had misled my rustic simplicity on my +first visit to this city, and whose death I had conceived to be +incontestably ascertained, were forcibly recognised. + +This recognition, which at first alarmed my superstition, speedily led +to more rational inferences. Wallace had been dragged to the hospital. +Nothing was less to be suspected than that he would return alive from +that hideous receptacle, but this was by no means impossible. The figure +that stood before me had just risen from the bed of sickness, and from +the brink of the grave. The crisis of his malady had passed, and he was +once more entitled to be ranked among the living. + +This event, and the consequences which my imagination connected with it, +filled me with the liveliest joy. I thought not of his ignorance of the +causes of my satisfaction, of the doubts to which the circumstances of +our interview would give birth, respecting the integrity of my purpose. +I forgot the artifices by which I had formerly been betrayed, and the +embarrassments which a meeting with the victim of his artifices would +excite in him; I thought only of the happiness which his recovery would +confer upon his uncle and his cousins. + +I advanced towards him with an air of congratulation, and offered him my +hand. He shrunk back, and exclaimed, in a feeble voice, "Who are you? +What business have you here?" + +"I am the friend of Wallace, if he will allow me to be so. I am a +messenger from your uncle and cousins at _Malverton_. I came to know the +cause of your silence, and to afford you any assistance in my power." + +He continued to regard me with an air of suspicion and doubt. These I +endeavoured to remove by explaining the motives that led me hither. It +was with difficulty that he seemed to credit my representations. When +thoroughly convinced of the truth of my assertions, he inquired with +great anxiety and tenderness concerning his relations; and expressed his +hope that they were ignorant of what had befallen him. + +I could not encourage his hopes. I regretted my own precipitation in +adopting the belief of his death. This belief had been uttered with +confidence, and without stating my reasons for embracing it, to Mr. +Hadwin. These tidings would be borne to his daughters, and their grief +would be exasperated to a deplorable and perhaps to a fatal degree. + +There was but one method of repairing or eluding this mischief. +Intelligence ought to be conveyed to them of his recovery. But where was +the messenger to be found? No one's attention could be found disengaged +from his own concerns. Those who were able or willing to leave the city +had sufficient motives for departure, in relation to themselves. If +vehicle or horse were procurable for money, ought it not to be secured +for the use of Wallace himself, whose health required the easiest and +speediest conveyance from this theatre of death? + +My companion was powerless in mind as in limbs. He seemed unable to +consult upon the means of escaping from the inconveniences by which he +was surrounded. As soon as sufficient strength was regained, he had left +the hospital. To repair to _Malverton_ was the measure which prudence +obviously dictated; but he was hopeless of effecting it. The city was +close at hand; this was his usual home; and hither his tottering and +almost involuntary steps conducted him. + +He listened to my representations and counsels, and acknowledged their +propriety. He put himself under my protection and guidance, and promised +to conform implicitly to my directions. His strength had sufficed to +bring him thus far, but was now utterly exhausted. The task of searching +for a carriage and horse devolved upon me. + +In effecting this purpose, I was obliged to rely upon my own ingenuity +and diligence. Wallace, though so long a resident in the city, knew not +to whom I could apply, or by whom carriages were let to hire. My own +reflections taught me, that this accommodation was most likely to be +furnished by innkeepers, or that some of those might at least inform me +of the best measures to be taken. I resolved to set out immediately on +this search. Meanwhile, Wallace was persuaded to take refuge in +Medlicote's apartments; and to make, by the assistance of Austin, the +necessary preparation for his journey. + +The morning had now advanced. The rays of a sultry sun had a sickening +and enfeebling influence beyond any which I had ever experienced. The +drought of unusual duration had bereft the air and the earth of every +particle of moisture. The element which I breathed appeared to have +stagnated into noxiousness and putrefaction. I was astonished at +observing the enormous diminution of my strength. My brows were heavy, +my intellects benumbed, my sinews enfeebled, and my sensations +universally unquiet. + +These prognostics were easily interpreted. What I chiefly dreaded was, +that they would disable me from executing the task which I had +undertaken. I summoned up all my resolution, and cherished a disdain of +yielding to this ignoble destiny. I reflected that the source of all +energy, and even of life, is seated in thought; that nothing is arduous +to human efforts; that the external frame will seldom languish, while +actuated by an unconquerable soul. + +I fought against my dreary feelings, which pulled me to the earth. I +quickened my pace, raised my drooping eyelids, and hummed a cheerful and +favourite air. For all that I accomplished during this day, I believe +myself indebted to the strenuousness and ardour of my resolutions. + +I went from one tavern to another. One was deserted; in another the +people were sick, and their attendants refused to hearken to my +inquiries or offers; at a third, their horses were engaged. I was +determined to prosecute my search as long as an inn or a livery-stable +remained unexamined, and my strength would permit. + +To detail the events of this expedition, the arguments and supplications +which I used to overcome the dictates of avarice and fear, the +fluctuation of my hopes and my incessant disappointments, would be +useless. Having exhausted all my expedients ineffectually, I was +compelled to turn my weary steps once more to Medlicote's lodgings. + +My meditations were deeply engaged by the present circumstances of my +situation. Since the means which were first suggested were +impracticable, I endeavoured to investigate others. Wallace's debility +made it impossible for him to perform this journey on foot; but would +not his strength and his resolution suffice to carry him beyond +Schuylkill? A carriage or horse, though not to be obtained in the city, +could, without difficulty, be procured in the country. Every farmer had +beasts for burden and draught. One of these might be hired, at no +immoderate expense, for half a day. + +This project appeared so practicable and so specious, that I deeply +regretted the time and the efforts which had already been so fruitlessly +expended. If my project, however, had been mischievous, to review it +with regret was only to prolong and to multiply its mischiefs. I trusted +that time and strength would not be wanting to the execution of this new +design. + +On entering Medlicote's house, my looks, which, in spite of my languors, +were sprightly and confident, flattered Wallace with the belief that my +exertions had succeeded. When acquainted with their failure, he sunk as +quickly into hopelessness. My new expedient was heard by him with no +marks of satisfaction. It was impossible, he said, to move from this +spot by his own strength. All his powers were exhausted by his walk from +Bush Hill. + +I endeavoured, by arguments and railleries, to revive his courage. The +pure air of the country would exhilarate him into new life. He might +stop at every fifty yards, and rest upon the green sod. If overtaken by +the night, we would procure a lodging, by address and importunity; but, +if every door should be shut against us, we should at least enjoy the +shelter of some barn, and might diet wholesomely upon the new-laid eggs +that we should find there. The worst treatment we could meet with was +better than continuance in the city. + +These remonstrances had some influence, and he at length consented to +put his ability to the test. First, however, it was necessary to +invigorate himself by a few hours' rest. To this, though with infinite +reluctance, I consented. + +This interval allowed him to reflect upon the past, and to inquire into +the fate of Thetford and his family. The intelligence which Medlicote +had enabled me to afford him was heard with more satisfaction than +regret. The ingratitude and cruelty with which he had been treated +seemed to have extinguished every sentiment but hatred and vengeance. I +was willing to profit by this interval to know more of Thetford than I +already possessed. I inquired why Wallace had so perversely neglected +the advice of his uncle and cousin, and persisted to brave so many +dangers when flight was so easy. + +"I cannot justify my conduct," answered he. "It was in the highest +degree thoughtless and perverse. I was confident and unconcerned as long +as our neighbourhood was free from disease, and as long as I forbore any +communication with the sick; yet I should have withdrawn to Malverton, +merely to gratify my friends, if Thetford had not used the most powerful +arguments to detain me. He laboured to extenuate the danger. + +"'Why not stay,' said he, 'as long as I and my family stay? Do you think +that we would linger here, if the danger were imminent? As soon as it +becomes so, we will fly. You know that we have a country-house prepared +for our reception. When we go, you shall accompany us. Your services at +this time are indispensable to my affairs. If you will not desert me, +your salary next year shall be double; and that will enable you to marry +your cousin immediately. Nothing is more improbable than that any of us +should be sick; but, if this should happen to you, I plight my honour +that you shall be carefully and faithfully attended.' + +"These assurances were solemn and generous. To make Susan Hadwin my wife +was the scope of all my wishes and labours. By staying, I should hasten +this desirable event, and incur little hazard. By going, I should +alienate the affections of Thetford; by whom, it is but justice to +acknowledge, that I had hitherto been treated with unexampled generosity +and kindness; and blast all the schemes I had formed for rising into +wealth. + +"My resolution was by no means steadfast. As often as a letter from +_Malverton_ arrived, I felt myself disposed to hasten away; but this +inclination was combated by new arguments and new entreaties of +Thetford. + +"In this state of suspense, the girl by whom Mrs. Thetford's infant was +nursed fell sick. She was an excellent creature, and merited better +treatment than she received. Like me, she resisted the persuasions of +her friends, but her motives for remaining were disinterested and +heroic. + +"No sooner did her indisposition appear, than she was hurried to the +hospital. I saw that no reliance could be placed upon the assurances of +Thetford. Every consideration gave way to his fear of death. After the +girl's departure, though he knew that she was led by his means to +execution, yet he consoled himself by repeating and believing her +assertions, that her disease was not _the fever_. + +"I was now greatly alarmed for my own safety. I was determined to +encounter his anger and repel his persuasions; and to depart with the +market-man next morning. That night, however, I was seized with a +violent fever. I knew in what manner patients were treated at the +hospital, and removal thither was to the last degree abhorred. + +"The morning arrived, and my situation was discovered. At the first +intimation, Thetford rushed out of the house, and refused to re-enter it +till I was removed. I knew not my fate, till three ruffians made their +appearance at my bedside, and communicated their commission. + +"I called on the name of Thetford and his wife. I entreated a moment's +delay, till I had seen these persons, and endeavoured to procure a +respite from my sentence. They were deaf to my entreaties, and prepared +to execute their office by force. I was delirious with rage and terror. +I heaped the bitterest execrations on my murderer; and by turns, invoked +the compassion of, and poured a torrent of reproaches on, the wretches +whom he had selected for his ministers. My struggles and outcries were +vain. + +"I have no perfect recollection of what passed till my arrival at the +hospital. My passions combined with my disease to make me frantic and +wild. In a state like mine, the slightest motion could not be endured +without agony. What then must I have felt, scorched and dazzled by the +sun, sustained by hard boards, and borne for miles over a rugged +pavement? + +"I cannot make you comprehend the anguish of my feelings. To be +disjointed and torn piecemeal by the rack was a torment inexpressibly +inferior to this. Nothing excites my wonder but that I did not expire +before the cart had moved three paces. + +"I knew not how, or by whom, I was moved from this vehicle. +Insensibility came at length to my relief. After a time I opened my +eyes, and slowly gained some knowledge of my situation. I lay upon a +mattress, whose condition proved that a half-decayed corpse had recently +been dragged from it. The room was large, but it was covered with beds +like my own. Between each, there was scarcely the interval of three +feet. Each sustained a wretch, whose groans and distortions bespoke the +desperateness of his condition. + +"The atmosphere was loaded by mortal stenches. A vapour, suffocating and +malignant, scarcely allowed me to breathe. No suitable receptacle was +provided for the evacuations produced by medicine or disease. My nearest +neighbour was struggling with death, and my bed, casually extended, was +moist with the detestable matter which had flowed from his stomach. + +"You will scarcely believe that, in this scene of horrors, the sound of +laughter should be overheard. While the upper rooms of this building are +filled with the sick and the dying, the lower apartments are the scene +of carousals and mirth. The wretches who are hired, at enormous wages, +to tend the sick and convey away the dead, neglect their duty, and +consume the cordials which are provided for the patients, in debauchery +and riot. + +"A female visage, bloated with malignity and drunkenness, occasionally +looked in. Dying eyes were cast upon her, invoking the boon, perhaps, of +a drop of cold water, or her assistance to change a posture which +compelled him to behold the ghastly writhings or deathful _smile_ of his +neighbour. + +"The visitant had left the banquet for a moment, only to see who was +dead. If she entered the room, blinking eyes and reeling steps showed +her to be totally unqualified for ministering the aid that was needed. +Presently she disappeared, and others ascended the staircase, a coffin +was deposited at the door, the wretch, whose heart still quivered, was +seized by rude hands, and dragged along the floor into the passage. + +"Oh! how poor are the conceptions which are formed, by the fortunate +few, of the sufferings to which millions of their fellow-beings are +condemned. This misery was more frightful, because it was seen to flow +from the depravity of the attendants. My own eyes only would make me +credit the existence of wickedness so enormous. No wonder that to die in +garrets, and cellars, and stables, unvisited and unknown, had, by so +many, been preferred to being brought hither. + +"A physician cast an eye upon my state. He gave some directions to the +person who attended him. I did not comprehend them, they were never +executed by the nurses, and, if the attempt had been made, I should +probably have refused to receive what was offered. Recovery was equally +beyond my expectations and my wishes. The scene which was hourly +displayed before me, the entrance of the sick, most of whom perished in +a few hours, and their departure to the graves prepared for them, +reminded me of the fate to which I, also, was reserved. + +"Three days passed away, in which every hour was expected to be the +last. That, amidst an atmosphere so contagious and deadly, amidst causes +of destruction hourly accumulating, I should yet survive, appears to me +nothing less than miraculous. That of so many conducted to this house +the only one who passed out of it alive should be myself almost +surpasses my belief. + +"Some inexplicable principle rendered harmless those potent enemies of +human life. My fever subsided and vanished. My strength was revived, and +the first use that I made of my limbs was to bear me far from the +contemplation and sufferance of those evils." + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + + +Having gratified my curiosity in this respect, Wallace proceeded to +remind me of the circumstances of our first interview. He had +entertained doubts whether I was the person whom he had met at Lesher's. +I acknowledged myself to be the same, and inquired, in my turn, into the +motives of his conduct on that occasion. + +"I confess," said he, with some hesitation, "I meant only to sport with +your simplicity and ignorance. You must not imagine, however, that my +stratagem was deep-laid and deliberately executed. My professions at the +tavern were sincere. I meant not to injure but to serve you. It was not +till I reached the head of the staircase that the mischievous +contrivance occurred. I foresaw nothings at the moment, but ludicrous +mistakes and embarrassment. The scheme was executed almost at the very +moment it occurred. + +"After I had returned to the parlour, Thetford charged me with the +delivery of a message in a distant quarter of the city. It was not till +I had performed this commission, and had set out on my return, that I +fully revolved the consequences likely to flow from my project. + +"That Thetford and his wife would detect you in their bedchamber was +unquestionable. Perhaps, weary of my long delay, you would have fairly +undressed and gone to bed. The married couple would have made +preparation to follow you, and, when the curtain was undrawn, would +discover a robust youth, fast asleep, in their place. These images, +which had just before excited my laughter, now produced a very different +emotion. I dreaded some fatal catastrophe from the fiery passions of +Thetford. In the first transports of his fury he might pistol you, or, +at least, might command you to be dragged to prison. + +"I now heartily repented of my jest, and hastened home, that I might +prevent, as far as possible, the evil effects that might flow from it. +The acknowledgment of my own agency in this affair would, at least, +transfer Thetford's indignation to myself, to whom it was equitably due. + +"The married couple had retired to their chamber, and no alarm or +confusion had followed. This was an inexplicable circumstance. I waited +with impatience till the morning should furnish a solution of the +difficulty. The morning arrived. A strange event had, indeed, taken +place in their bedchamber. They found an infant asleep in their bed. +Thetford had been roused twice in the night, once by a noise in the +closet, and afterwards by a noise at the door. + +"Some connection between these sounds and the foundling was naturally +suspected. In the morning the closet was examined, and a coarse pair of +shoes was found on the floor. The chamber door, which Thetford had +locked in the evening, was discovered to be open, as likewise a window +in the kitchen. + +"These appearances were a source of wonder and doubt to others, but were +perfectly intelligible to me. I rejoiced that my stratagem had no more +dangerous consequence, and admired the ingenuity and perseverance with +which you had extricated yourself from so critical a state." + +This narrative was only the verification of my own guesses. Its facts +were quickly supplanted in my thoughts by the disastrous picture he had +drawn of the state of the hospital. I was confounded and shocked by the +magnitude of this evil. The cause of it was obvious. The wretches whom +money could purchase were, of course, licentious and unprincipled. +Superintended and controlled, they might be useful instruments; but that +superintendence could not be bought. + +What qualities were requisite in the governor of such an institution? He +must have zeal, diligence, and perseverance. He must act from lofty and +pure motives. He must be mild and firm, intrepid and compliant. One +perfectly qualified for the office it is desirable, but not possible, +to find. A dispassionate and honest zeal in the cause of duty and +humanity may be of eminent utility. Am I not endowed with this zeal? +Cannot my feeble efforts obviate some portion of this evil? + +No one has hitherto claimed this disgustful and perilous situation. My +powers and discernment are small, but if they be honestly exerted they +cannot fail to be somewhat beneficial. + +The impulse produced by these reflections was to hasten to the City +Hall, and make known my wishes. This impulse was controlled by +recollections of my own indisposition, and of the state of Wallace. To +deliver this youth to his friends was the strongest obligation. When +this was discharged, I might return to the city, and acquit myself of +more comprehensive duties. + +Wallace had now enjoyed a few hours' rest, and was persuaded to begin +the journey. It was now noonday, and the sun darted insupportable rays. +Wallace was more sensible than I of their unwholesome influence. We had +not reached the suburbs, when his strength was wholly exhausted, and, +had I not supported him, he would have sunk upon the pavement. + +My limbs were scarcely less weak, but my resolutions were much more +strenuous than his. I made light of his indisposition, and endeavoured +to persuade him that his vigour would return in proportion to his +distance from the city. The moment we should reach a shade, a short +respite would restore us to health and cheerfulness. + +Nothing could revive his courage or induce him to go on. To return or to +proceed was equally impracticable. But, should he be able to return, +where should he find a retreat? The danger of relapse was imminent; his +own chamber at Thetford's was unoccupied. If he could regain this house, +might I not procure him a physician and perform for him the part of +nurse? + +His present situation was critical and mournful. To remain in the +street, exposed to the malignant fervours of the sun, was not to be +endured. To carry him in my arms exceeded my strength. Should I not +claim the assistance of the first passenger that appeared? + +At that moment a horse and chaise passed us. The vehicle proceeded at a +quick pace. He that rode in it might afford us the succour that we +needed. He might be persuaded to deviate from his course and convey the +helpless Wallace to the house we had just left. + +This thought instantly impelled me forward. Feeble as I was, I even ran +with speed, in order to overtake the vehicle. My purpose was effected +with the utmost difficulty. It fortunately happened that the carriage +contained but one person, who stopped at my request. His countenance and +guise was mild and encouraging. + +"Good friend," I exclaimed, "here is a young man too indisposed to walk. +I want him carried to his lodgings. Will you, for money or for charity, +allow him a place in your chaise, and set him down where I shall +direct?" Observing tokens of hesitation, I continued, "You need have no +fears to perform this office. He is not sick, but merely feeble. I will +not ask twenty minutes, and you may ask what reward you think proper." + +Still he hesitated to comply. His business, he said, had not led him +into the city. He merely passed along the skirts of it, whence he +conceived that no danger would arise. He was desirous of helping the +unfortunate; but he could not think of risking his own life in the cause +of a stranger, when he had a wife and children depending on his +existence and exertions for bread. It gave him pain to refuse, but he +thought his duty to himself and to others required that he should not +hazard his safety by compliance. + +This plea was irresistible. The mildness of his manner showed that he +might have been overpowered by persuasion or tempted by reward. I would +not take advantage of his tractability; but should have declined his +assistance, even if it had been spontaneously offered. I turned away +from him in silence, and prepared to return to the spot where I had left +my friend. The man prepared to resume his way. + +In this perplexity, the thought occurred to me that, since this person +was going into the country, he might, possibly, consent to carry Wallace +along with him. I confided greatly in the salutary influence of rural +airs. I believed that debility constituted the whole of his complaint; +that continuance in the city might occasion his relapse, or, at least, +procrastinate his restoration. + +I once more addressed myself to the traveller, and inquired in what +direction and how far he was going. To my unspeakable satisfaction, his +answer informed me that his home lay beyond Mr. Hadwin's, and that this +road carried him directly past that gentleman's door. He was willing to +receive Wallace into his chaise, and to leave him at his uncle's. + +This joyous and auspicious occurrence surpassed my fondest hopes. I +hurried with the pleasing tidings to Wallace, who eagerly consented to +enter the carriage. I thought not at the moment of myself, or how far +the same means of escaping from my danger might be used. The stranger +could not be anxious on my account; and Wallace's dejection and weakness +may apologize for his not soliciting my company, or expressing his fears +for my safety. He was no sooner seated, than the traveller hurried away. +I gazed after them, motionless and mute, till the carriage, turning a +corner, passed beyond my sight. + +I had now leisure to revert to my own condition, and to ruminate on that +series of abrupt and diversified events that had happened during the few +hours which had been passed in the city: the end of my coming was thus +speedily and satisfactorily accomplished. My hopes and fears had rapidly +fluctuated; but, respecting this young man, had now subsided into calm +and propitious certainty. Before the decline of the sun, he would enter +his paternal roof, and diffuse ineffable joy throughout that peaceful +and chaste asylum. + +This contemplation, though rapturous and soothing, speedily gave way to +reflections on the conduct which my duty required, and the safe +departure of Wallace afforded me liberty, to pursue. To offer myself as +a superintendent of the hospital was still my purpose. The languors of +my frame might terminate in sickness, but this event it was useless to +anticipate. The lofty site and pure airs of Bush Hill might tend to +dissipate my languors and restore me to health. At least while I had +power, I was bound to exert it to the wisest purposes. I resolved to +seek the City Hall immediately, and, for that end, crossed the +intermediate fields which separated Sassafras from Chestnut Street. + +More urgent considerations had diverted my attention from the money +which I bore about me, and from the image of the desolate lady to whom +it belonged. My intentions, with regard to her, were the same as ever; +but now it occurred to me, with new force, that my death might preclude +an interview between us, and that it was prudent to dispose, in some +useful way, of the money which would otherwise be left to the sport of +chance. + +The evils which had befallen this city were obvious and enormous. Hunger +and negligence had exasperated the malignity and facilitated the +progress of the pestilence. Could this money be more usefully employed +than in alleviating these evils? During my life, I had no power over it, +but my death would justify me in prescribing the course which it should +take. + +How was this course to be pointed out? How might I place it, so that I +should effect my intentions without relinquishing the possession during +my life? + +These thoughts were superseded by a tide of new sensations. The weight +that incommoded my brows and my stomach was suddenly increased. My brain +was usurped by some benumbing power, and my limbs refused to support me. +My pulsations were quickened, and the prevalence of fever could no +longer be doubted. + +Till now, I had entertained a faint hope that my indisposition would +vanish of itself. This hope was at an end. The grave was before me, and +my projects of curiosity or benevolence were to sink into oblivion. I +was not bereaved of the powers of reflection. The consequences of lying +in the road, friendless and unprotected, were sure. The first passenger +would notice me, and hasten to summon one of those carriages which are +busy night and day in transporting its victims to the hospital. + +This fate was, beyond all others, abhorrent to my imagination. To hide +me under some roof, where my existence would be unknown and unsuspected, +and where I might perish unmolested and in quiet, was my present wish. +Thetford's or Medlicote's might afford me such an asylum, if it were +possible to reach it. + +I made the most strenuous exertions; but they could not carry me forward +more than a hundred paces. Here I rested on steps, which, on looking up, +I perceived to belong to Welbeck's house. + +This incident was unexpected. It led my reflections into a new train. To +go farther, in the present condition of my frame, was impossible. I was +well acquainted with this dwelling. All its avenues were closed. Whether +it had remained unoccupied since my flight from it, I could not decide. +It was evident that, at present, it was without inhabitants. Possibly it +might have continued in the same condition in which Welbeck had left it. +Beds or sofas might be found, on which a sick man might rest, and be +fearless of intrusion. + +This inference was quickly overturned by the obvious supposition that +every avenue was bolted and locked. This, however, might not be the +condition of the bath-house, in which there was nothing that required to +be guarded with unusual precautions. I was suffocated by inward and +scorched by external heat; and the relief of bathing and drinking +appeared inestimable. + +The value of this prize, in addition to my desire to avoid the +observation of passengers, made me exert all my remnant of strength. +Repeated efforts at length enabled me to mount the wall; and placed me, +as I imagined, in security. I swallowed large draughts of water as soon +as I could reach the well. + +The effect was, for a time, salutary and delicious. My fervours were +abated, and my faculties relieved from the weight which had lately +oppressed them. My present condition was unspeakably more advantageous +than the former. I did not believe that it could be improved, till, +casting my eye vaguely over the building, I happened to observe the +shutters of a lower window partly opened. + +Whether this was occasioned by design or by accident there was no means +of deciding. Perhaps, in the precipitation of the latest possessor, this +window had been overlooked. Perhaps it had been unclosed by violence, +and afforded entrance to a robber. By what means soever it had +happened, it undoubtedly afforded ingress to me. I felt no scruple in +profiting by this circumstance. My purposes were not dishonest. I should +not injure or purloin any thing. It was laudable to seek a refuge from +the well-meant persecutions of those who governed the city. All I sought +was the privilege of dying alone. + +Having gotten in at the window, I could not but remark that the +furniture and its arrangements had undergone no alteration in my +absence. I moved softly from one apartment to another, till at length I +entered that which had formerly been Welbeck's bedchamber. + +The bed was naked of covering. The cabinets and closets exhibited their +fastenings broken. Their contents were gone. Whether these appearances +had been produced by midnight robbers, or by the ministers of law and +the rage of the creditors of Welbeck, was a topic of fruitless +conjecture. + +My design was now effected. This chamber should be the scene of my +disease and my refuge from the charitable cruelty of my neighbours. My +new sensations conjured up the hope that my indisposition might prove a +temporary evil. Instead of pestilential or malignant fever, it might be +a harmless intermittent. Time would ascertain its true nature; +meanwhile, I would turn the carpet into a coverlet, supply my pitcher +with water, and administer without sparing, and without fear, that +remedy which was placed within my reach. + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + + +I laid myself on the bed and wrapped my limbs in the folds of the +carpet. My thoughts were restless and perturbed. I was once more busy in +reflecting on the conduct which I ought to pursue with regard to the +bank-bills. I weighed, with scrupulous attention, every circumstance +that might influence my decision. I could not conceive any more +beneficial application of this property than to the service of the +indigent, at this season of multiplied distress; but I considered that, +if my death were unknown, the house would not be opened or examined till +the pestilence had ceased, and the benefits of this application would +thus be partly or wholly precluded. + +This season of disease, however, would give place to a season of +scarcity. The number and wants of the poor, during the ensuing winter, +would be deplorably aggravated. What multitudes might be rescued from +famine and nakedness by the judicious application of this sum! + +But how should I secure this application? To enclose the bills in a +letter, directed to some eminent citizen or public officer, was the +obvious proceeding. Both of these conditions were fulfilled in the +person of the present chief-magistrate. To him, therefore, the packet +was to be sent. + +Paper and the implements of writing were necessary for this end. Would +they be found, I asked, in the upper room? If that apartment, like the +rest which I had seen, and its furniture, had remained untouched, my +task would be practicable; but, if the means of writing were not to be +immediately procured, my purpose, momentous and dear as it was, must be +relinquished. + +The truth, in this respect, was easily and ought immediately to be +ascertained. I rose from the bed which I had lately taken, and proceeded +to the _study_. The entries and staircases were illuminated by a pretty +strong twilight. The rooms, in consequence of every ray being excluded +by the closed shutters, were nearly as dark as if it had been midnight. +The rooms into which I had already passed were locked, but its key was +in each lock. I flattered myself that the entrance into the _study_ +would be found in the same condition. The door was shut, but no key was +to be seen. My hopes were considerably damped by this appearance, but I +conceived it to be still possible to enter, since, by chance or by +design, the door might be unlocked. + +My fingers touched the lock, when a sound was heard as if a bolt, +appending to the door on the inside, had been drawn. I was startled by +this incident. It betokened that the room was already occupied by some +other, who desired to exclude a visitor. The unbarred shutter below was +remembered, and associated itself with this circumstance. That this +house should be entered by the same avenue, at the same time, and this +room should be sought, by two persons, was a mysterious concurrence. + +I began to question whether I had heard distinctly. Numberless +inexplicable noises are apt to assail the ear in an empty dwelling. The +very echoes of our steps are unwonted and new. This, perhaps, was some +such sound. Resuming courage, I once more applied to the lock. The door, +in spite of my repeated efforts, would not open. + +My design was too momentous to be readily relinquished. My curiosity and +my fears likewise were awakened. The marks of violence, which I had seen +on the closets and cabinets below, seemed to indicate the presence of +plunderers. Here was one who laboured for seclusion and concealment. + +The pillage was not made upon my property. My weakness would disable me +from encountering or mastering a man of violence. To solicit admission +into this room would be useless. To attempt to force my way would be +absurd. These reflections prompted me to withdraw from the door; but the +uncertainty of the conclusions I had drawn, and the importance of +gaining access to this apartment, combined to check my steps. + +Perplexed as to the means I should employ, I once more tried the lock. +The attempt was fruitless as the former. Though hopeless of any +information to be gained by that means, I put my eye to the keyhole. I +discovered a light different from what was usually met with at this +hour. It was not the twilight which the sun, imperfectly excluded, +produces, but gleams, as from a lamp; yet its gleams were fainter and +obscurer than a lamp generally imparts. + +Was this a confirmation of my first conjecture? Lamplight at noonday, in +a mansion thus deserted, and in a room which had been the scene of +memorable and disastrous events, was ominous. Hitherto no direct proof +had been given of the presence of a human being. How to ascertain his +presence, or whether it were eligible by any means to ascertain it, were +points on which I had not deliberated. + +I had no power to deliberate. My curiosity impelled me to call,--"Is +there any one within? Speak." + +These words were scarcely uttered, when some one exclaimed, in a voice +vehement but half-smothered, "Good God!"-- + +A deep pause succeeded. I waited for an answer; for somewhat to which +this emphatic invocation might be a prelude. Whether the tones were +expressive of surprise, or pain, or grief, was, for a moment, dubious. +Perhaps the motives which led me to this house suggested the suspicion +which presently succeeded to my doubts,--that the person within was +disabled by sickness. The circumstances of my own condition took away +the improbability from this belief. Why might not another be induced +like me to hide himself in this desolate retreat? Might not a servant, +left to take care of the house, a measure usually adopted by the opulent +at this time, be seized by the reigning malady? Incapacitated for +exertion, or fearing to be dragged to the hospital, he has shut himself +in this apartment. The robber, it may be, who came to pillage, was +overtaken and detained by disease. In either case, detection or +intrusion would be hateful, and would be assiduously eluded. + +These thoughts had no tendency to weaken or divert my efforts to obtain +access to this room. The person was a brother in calamity, whom it was +my duty to succour and cherish to the utmost of my power. Once more I +spoke:-- + +"Who is within? I beseech you answer me. Whatever you be, I desire to do +you good and not injury. Open the door and let me know your condition. I +will try to be of use to you." + +I was answered by a deep groan, and by a sob counteracted and devoured +as it were by a mighty effort. This token of distress thrilled to my +heart. My terrors wholly disappeared, and gave place to unlimited +compassion. I again entreated to be admitted, promising all the succour +or consolation which my situation allowed me to afford. + +Answers were made in tones of anger and impatience, blended with those +of grief:--"I want no succour; vex me not with your entreaties and +offers. Fly from this spot; linger not a moment, lest you participate my +destiny and rush upon your death." + +These I considered merely as the effusions of delirium, or the dictates +of despair. The style and articulation denoted the speaker to be +superior to the class of servants. Hence my anxiety to see and to aid +him was increased. My remonstrances were sternly and pertinaciously +repelled. For a time, incoherent and impassioned exclamations flowed +from him. At length, I was only permitted to hear strong aspirations and +sobs, more eloquent and more indicative of grief than any language. + +This deportment filled me with no less wonder than commiseration. By +what views this person was led hither, by what motives induced to deny +himself to my entreaties, was wholly incomprehensible. Again, though +hopeless of success, I repeated my request to be admitted. + +My perseverance seemed now to have exhausted all his patience, and he +exclaimed, in a voice of thunder, "Arthur Mervyn! Begone. Linger but a +moment, and my rage, tiger-like, will rush upon you and rend you limb +from limb." + +This address petrified me. The voice that uttered this sanguinary menace +was strange to my ears. It suggested no suspicion of ever having heard +it before. Yet my accents had betrayed me to him. He was familiar with +my name. Notwithstanding the improbability of my entrance into this +dwelling, I was clearly recognized and unhesitatingly named! + +My curiosity and compassion were in no wise diminished, but I found +myself compelled to give up my purpose. I withdrew reluctantly from the +door, and once more threw myself upon my bed. Nothing was more +necessary, in the present condition of my frame; than sleep; and sleep +had, perhaps, been possible, if the scene around me had been less +pregnant with causes of wonder and panic. + +Once more I tasked memory in order to discover, in the persons with whom +I had hitherto conversed, some resemblance, in voice or tones, to him +whom I had just heard. This process was effectual. Gradually my +imagination called up an image which, now that it was clearly seen, I +was astonished had not instantly occurred. Three years ago, a man, by +name Colvill, came on foot, and with a knapsack on his back, into the +district where my father resided. He had learning and genius, and +readily obtained the station for which only he deemed himself qualified; +that of a schoolmaster. + +His demeanour was gentle and modest; his habits, as to sleep, food, and +exercise, abstemious and regular. Meditation in the forest, or reading +in his closet, seemed to constitute, together with attention to his +scholars, his sole amusement and employment. He estranged himself from +company, not because society afforded no pleasure, but because studious +seclusion afforded him chief satisfaction. + +No one was more idolized by his unsuspecting neighbours. His scholars +revered him as a father, and made under his tuition a remarkable +proficiency. His character seemed open to boundless inspection, and his +conduct was pronounced by all to be faultless. + +At the end of a year the scene was changed. A daughter of one of his +patrons, young, artless, and beautiful, appeared to have fallen a prey +to the arts of some detestable seducer. The betrayer was gradually +detected, and successive discoveries showed that the same artifices had +been practised, with the same success, upon many others. Colvill was the +arch-villain. He retired from the storm of vengeance that was gathering +over him, and had not been heard of since that period. + +I saw him rarely, and for a short time, and I was a mere boy. Hence the +failure to recollect his voice, and to perceive that the voice of him +immured in the room above was the same with that of Colvill. Though I +had slight reasons for recognising his features or accents, I had +abundant cause to think of him with detestation, and pursue him with +implacable revenge, for the victim of his acts, she whose ruin was first +detected, was--_my sister_. + +This unhappy girl escaped from the upbraidings of her parents, from the +contumelies of the world, from the goadings of remorse, and the anguish +flowing from the perfidy and desertion of Colvill, in a voluntary death. +She was innocent and lovely. Previous to this evil, my soul was linked +with hers by a thousand resemblances and sympathies, as well as by +perpetual intercourse from infancy, and by the fraternal relation. She +was my sister, my preceptress and friend; but she died--her end was +violent, untimely, and criminal! I cannot think of her without +heart-bursting grief; of her destroyer, without a rancour which I know +to be wrong, but which I cannot subdue. + +When the image of Colvill rushed, upon this occasion, on my thought, I +almost started on my feet. To meet him, after so long a separation, +here, and in these circumstances, was so unlooked-for and abrupt an +event, and revived a tribe of such hateful impulses and agonizing +recollections, that a total revolution seemed to have been effected in +my frame. His recognition of my person, his aversion to be seen, his +ejaculation of terror and surprise on first hearing my voice, all +contributed to strengthen my belief. + +How was I to act? My feeble frame could but ill second my vengeful +purposes; but vengeance, though it sometimes occupied my thoughts, was +hindered by my reason from leading me, in any instance, to outrage or +even to upbraiding. + +All my wishes with regard to this man were limited to expelling his +image from my memory, and to shunning a meeting with him. That he had +not opened the door at my bidding was now a topic of joy. To look upon +some bottomless pit, into which I was about to be cast headlong, and +alive, was less to be abhorred than to look upon the face of Colvill. +Had I known that he had taken refuge in this house, no power should have +compelled me to enter it. To be immersed in the infection of the +hospital, and to be hurried, yet breathing and observant, to my grave, +was a more supportable fate. + +I dwell, with self-condemnation and shame, upon this part of my story. +To feel extraordinary indignation at vice, merely because we have +partaken in an extraordinary degree of its mischiefs, is unjustifiable. +To regard the wicked with no emotion but pity, to be active in +reclaiming them, in controlling their malevolence, and preventing or +repairing the ills which they produce, is the only province of duty. +This lesson, as well as a thousand others, I have yet to learn; but I +despair of living long enough for that or any beneficial purpose. + +My emotions with regard to Colvill were erroneous, but omnipotent. I +started from my bed, and prepared to rush into the street. I was +careless of the lot that should befall me, since no fate could be worse +than that of abiding under the same roof with a wretch spotted with so +many crimes. + +I had not set my feet upon the floor before my precipitation was checked +by a sound from above. The door of the study was cautiously and slowly +opened. This incident admitted only of one construction, supposing all +obstructions removed. Colvill was creeping from his hiding-place, and +would probably fly with speed from the house. My belief of his sickness +was now confuted. An illicit design was congenial with his character +and congruous with those appearances already observed. + +I had no power or wish to obstruct his flight. I thought of it with +transport, and once more threw myself upon the bed, and wrapped my +averted face in the carpet. He would probably pass this door, +unobservant of me, and my muffled face would save me from the agonies +connected with the sight of him. + +The footsteps above were distinguishable, though it was manifest that +they moved with lightsomeness and circumspection. They reached the stair +and descended. The room in which I lay was, like the rest, obscured by +the closed shutters. This obscurity now gave way to a light, resembling +that glimmering and pale reflection which I had noticed in the study. My +eyes, though averted from the door, were disengaged from the folds which +covered the rest of my head, and observed these tokens of Colvill's +approach, flitting on the wall. + +My feverish perturbations increased as he drew nearer. He reached the +door, and stopped. The light rested for a moment. Presently he entered +the apartment. My emotions suddenly rose to a height that would not be +controlled. I imagined that he approached the bed, and was gazing upon +me. At the same moment, by an involuntary impulse, I threw off my +covering, and, turning my face, fixed my eyes upon my visitant. + +It was as I suspected. The figure, lifting in his right hand a candle, +and gazing at the bed, with lineaments and attitude bespeaking fearful +expectation and tormenting doubts, was now beheld. One glance +communicated to my senses all the parts of this terrific vision. A +sinking at my heart, as if it had been penetrated by a dagger, seized +me. This was not enough: I uttered a shriek, too rueful and loud not to +have startled the attention of the passengers, if any had, at that +moment, been passing the street. + +Heaven seemed to have decreed that this period should be filled with +trials of my equanimity and fortitude. The test of my courage was once +more employed to cover me with humiliation and remorse. This second +time, my fancy conjured up a spectre, and I shuddered as if the grave +were forsaken and the unquiet dead haunted my pillow. + +The visage and the shape had indeed preternatural attitudes, but they +belonged, not to Colvill, but to--WELBECK. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + + +He whom I had accompanied to the midst of the river; whom I had imagined +that I saw sink to rise no more, was now before me. Though incapable of +precluding the groundless belief of preternatural visitations, I was +able to banish the phantom almost at the same instant at which it +appeared. Welbeck had escaped from the stream alive; or had, by some +inconceivable means, been restored to life. + +The first was the most plausible conclusion. It instantly engendered a +suspicion, that his plunging into the water was an artifice, intended to +establish a belief of his death. His own tale had shown him to be versed +in frauds, and flexible to evil. But was he not associated with Colvill? +and what, but a compact in iniquity, could bind together such men? + +While thus musing, Welbeck's countenance and gesture displayed emotions +too vehement for speech. The glances that he fixed upon me were +unsteadfast and wild. He walked along the floor, stopping at each +moment, and darting looks of eagerness upon me. A conflict of passions +kept him mute. At length, advancing to the bed, on the side of which I +was now sitting, he addressed me:-- + +"What is this? Are you here? In defiance of pestilence, are you actuated +by some demon to haunt me, like the ghost of my offences, and cover me +with shame? What have I to do with that dauntless yet guiltless front? +With that foolishly-confiding and obsequious, yet erect and +unconquerable, spirit? Is there no means of evading your pursuit? Must I +dip my hands, a second time, in blood; and dig for you a grave by the +side of Watson?" + +These words were listened to with calmness. I suspected and pitied the +man, but I did not fear him. His words and his looks were indicative +less of cruelty than madness. I looked at him with an air compassionate +and wistful. I spoke with mildness and composure:-- + +"Mr. Welbeck, you are unfortunate and criminal. Would to God I could +restore you to happiness and virtue! but, though my desire be strong, I +have no power to change your habits or rescue you from misery. + +"I believed you to be dead. I rejoice to find myself mistaken. While you +live, there is room to hope that your errors will be cured; and the +turmoils and inquietudes that have hitherto beset your guilty progress +will vanish by your reverting into better paths. + +"From me you have nothing to fear. If your welfare will be promoted by +my silence on the subject of your history, my silence shall be +inviolate. I deem not lightly of my promises. They are given, and shall +not be recalled. + +"This meeting was casual. Since I believed you to be dead, it could not +be otherwise. You err, if you suppose that any injury will accrue to you +from my life; but you need not discard that error. Since my death is +coming, I am not averse to your adopting the belief that the event is +fortunate to you. + +"Death is the inevitable and universal lot. When or how it comes, is of +little moment. To stand, when so many thousands are falling around me, +is not to be expected. I have acted an humble and obscure part in the +world, and my career has been short; but I murmur not at the decree that +makes it so. + +"The pestilence is now upon me. The chances of recovery are too slender +to deserve my confidence. I came hither to die unmolested, and at peace. +All I ask of you is to consult your own safety by immediate flight; and +not to disappoint my hopes of concealment, by disclosing my condition to +the agents of the hospital." + +Welbeck listened with the deepest attention. The wildness of his air +disappeared, and gave place to perplexity and apprehension. + +"You are sick," said he, in a tremulous tone, in which terror was +mingled with affection. "You know this, and expect not to recover. No +mother, nor sister, nor friend, will be near to administer food, or +medicine, or comfort; yet you can talk calmly; can be thus considerate +of others--of me; whose guilt has been so deep, and who has merited so +little at your hands! + +"Wretched coward! Thus miserable as I am and expect to be, I cling to +life. To comply with your heroic counsel, and to fly; to leave you thus +desolate and helpless, is the strongest impulse. Fain would I resist it, +but cannot. + +"To desert you would be flagitious and dastardly beyond all former acts; +yet to stay with you is to contract the disease, and to perish after +you. + +"Life, burdened as it is with guilt and ignominy, is still dear--yet you +exhort me to go; you dispense with my assistance. Indeed, I could be of +no use; I should injure myself and profit you nothing. I cannot go into +the city and procure a physician or attendant. I must never more appear +in the streets of this city. I must leave you, then." He hurried to the +door. Again, he hesitated. I renewed my entreaties that he would leave +me; and encouraged his belief that his presence might endanger himself +without conferring the slightest benefit upon me. + +"Whither should I fly? The wide world contains no asylum for me. I lived +but on one condition. I came hither to find what would save me from +ruin,--from death. I find it not. It has vanished. Some audacious and +fortunate hand has snatched it from its place, and now my ruin is +complete. My last hope is extinct. + +"Yes, Mervyn! I will stay with you. I will hold your head. I will put +water to your lips. I will watch night and day by your side. When you +die, I will carry you by night to the neighbouring field; will bury you, +and water your grave with those tears that are due to your incomparable +worth and untimely destiny. Then I will lay myself in your bed, and wait +for the same oblivion." + +Welbeck seemed now no longer to be fluctuating between opposite +purposes. His tempestuous features subsided into calm. He put the +candle, still lighted, on the table, and paced the floor with less +disorder than at his first entrance. + +His resolution was seen to be the dictate of despair. I hoped that it +would not prove invincible to my remonstrances. I was conscious that his +attendance might preclude, in some degree, my own exertions, and +alleviate the pangs of death; but these consolations might be purchased +too dear. To receive them at the hazard of his life would be to make +them odious. + +But, if he should remain, what conduct would his companion pursue? Why +did he continue in the study when Welbeck had departed? By what motives +were those men led hither? I addressed myself to Welbeck:-- + +"Your resolution to remain is hasty and rash. By persisting in it, you +will add to the miseries of my condition; you will take away the only +hope that I cherished. But, however you may act, Colvill or I must be +banished from this roof. What is the league between you? Break it, I +conjure you, before his frauds have involved you in inextricable +destruction." + +Welbeck looked at me with some expression of doubt. + +"I mean," continued I, "the man whose voice I heard above. He is a +villain and betrayer. I have manifold proofs of his guilt. Why does he +linger behind you? However you may decide, it is fitting that he should +vanish." + +"Alas!" said Welbeck, "I have no companion, none to partake with me in +good or evil. I came hither alone." + +"How?" exclaimed I. "Whom did I hear in the room above? Some one +answered my interrogations and entreaties, whom I too certainly +recognised. Why does he remain?" + +"You heard no one but myself. The design that brought me hither was to +be accomplished without a witness. I desired to escape detection, and +repelled your solicitations for admission in a counterfeited voice. + +"That voice belonged to one from whom I had lately parted. What his +merits or demerits are, I know not. He found me wandering in the forests +of New Jersey. He took me to his home. When seized by a lingering +malady, he nursed me with fidelity and tenderness. When somewhat +recovered, I speeded hither; but our ignorance of each other's character +and views was mutual and profound. + +"I deemed it useful to assume a voice different from my own. This was +the last which I had heard, and this arbitrary and casual circumstance +decided my choice." + +This imitation was too perfect, and had influenced my fears too +strongly, to be easily credited. I suspected Welbeck of some new +artifice to baffle my conclusions and mislead my judgment. This +suspicion, however, yielded to his earnest and repeated declarations. If +Colvill were not here, where had he made his abode? How came friendship +and intercourse between Welbeck and him? By what miracle escaped the +former from the river, into which I had imagined him forever sunk? + +"I will answer you," said he, with candour. "You know already too much +for me to have any interest in concealing any part of my life. You have +discovered my existence, and the causes that rescued me from destruction +may be told without detriment to my person or fame. + +"When I leaped into the river, I intended to perish. I harboured no +previous doubts of my ability to execute my fatal purpose. In this +respect I was deceived. Suffocation would not come at my bidding. My +muscles and limbs rebelled against my will. There was a mechanical +repugnance to the loss of life, which I could not vanquish. My struggles +might thrust me below the surface, but my lips were spontaneously shut, +and excluded the torrent from my lungs. When my breath was exhausted, +the efforts that kept me at the bottom were involuntarily remitted, and +I rose to the surface. + +"I cursed my own pusillanimity. Thrice I plunged to the bottom, and as +often rose again. My aversion to life swiftly diminished, and at length +I consented to make use of my skill in swimming, which has seldom been +exceeded, to prolong my existence. I landed in a few minutes on the +Jersey shore. + +"This scheme being frustrated, I sunk into dreariness and inactivity. I +felt as if no dependence could be placed upon my courage, as if any +effort I should make for self-destruction would be fruitless; yet +existence was as void as ever of enjoyment and embellishment. My means +of living were annihilated. I saw no path before me. To shun the +presence of mankind was my sovereign wish. Since I could not die by my +own hands, I must be content to crawl upon the surface, till a superior +fate should permit me to perish. + +"I wandered into the centre of the wood. I stretched myself on the mossy +verge of a brook, and gazed at the stars till they disappeared. The next +day was spent with little variation. The cravings of hunger were felt, +and the sensation was a joyous one, since it afforded me the practicable +means of death. To refrain from food was easy, since some efforts would +be needful to procure it, and these efforts should not be made. Thus was +the sweet oblivion for which I so earnestly panted placed within my +reach. + +"Three days of abstinence, and reverie, and solitude, succeeded. On the +evening of the fourth, I was seated on a rock, with my face buried in my +hands. Some one laid his hand upon my shoulder. I started and looked up. +I beheld a face beaming with compassion and benignity. He endeavoured to +extort from me the cause of my solitude and sorrow. I disregarded his +entreaties, and was obstinately silent. + +"Finding me invincible in this respect, he invited me to his cottage, +which was hard by. I repelled him at first with impatience and anger, +but he was not to be discouraged or intimidated. To elude his +persuasions I was obliged to comply. My strength was gone, and the vital +fabric was crumbling into pieces. A fever raged in my veins, and I was +consoled by reflecting that my life was at once assailed by famine and +disease. + +"Meanwhile, my gloomy meditations experienced no respite. I incessantly +ruminated on the events of my past life. The long series of my crimes +arose daily and afresh to my imagination. The image of Lodi was +recalled, his expiring looks and the directions which were mutually +given respecting his sister's and his property. + +"As I perpetually revolved these incidents, they assumed new forms, and +were linked with new associations. The volume written by his father, and +transferred to me by tokens which were now remembered to be more +emphatic than the nature of the composition seemed to justify, was +likewise remembered. It came attended by recollections respecting a +volume which I filled, when a youth, with extracts from the Roman and +Greek poets. Besides this literary purpose, I likewise used to preserve +in it the bank-bills with the keeping or carriage of which I chanced to +be entrusted. This image led me back to the leather case containing +Lodi's property, which was put into my hands at the same time with the +volume. + +"These images now gave birth to a third conception, which darted on my +benighted understanding like an electrical flash. Was it not possible +that part of Lodi's property might be enclosed within the leaves of this +volume? In hastily turning it over, I recollected to have noticed leaves +whose edges by accident or design adhered to each other. Lodi, in +speaking of the sale of his father's West-India property, mentioned that +the sum obtained for it was forty thousand dollars. Half only of this +sum had been discovered by me. How had the remainder been appropriated? +Surely this volume contained it. + +"The influence of this thought was like the infusion of a new soul into +my frame. From torpid and desperate, from inflexible aversion to +medicine and food, I was changed in a moment into vivacity and hope, +into ravenous avidity for whatever could contribute to my restoration to +health. + +"I was not without pungent regrets and racking fears. That this volume +would be ravished away by creditors or plunderers was possible. Every +hour might be that which decided my fate. The first impulse was to seek +my dwelling and search for this precious deposit. + +"Meanwhile, my perturbations and impatience only exasperated my disease. +While chained to my bed, the rumour of pestilence was spread abroad. +This event, however, generally calamitous, was propitious to me, and was +hailed with satisfaction. It multiplied the chances that my house and +its furniture would be unmolested. + +"My friend was assiduous and indefatigable in his kindness. My +deportment, before and subsequent to the revival of my hopes, was +incomprehensible, and argued nothing less than insanity. My thoughts +were carefully concealed from him, and all that he witnessed was +contradictory and unintelligible. + +"At length, my strength was sufficiently restored. I resisted all my +protector's importunities to postpone my departure till the perfect +confirmation of my health. I designed to enter the city at midnight, +that prying eyes might be eluded; to bear with me a candle and the means +of lighting it, to explore my way to my ancient study, and to ascertain +my future claim to existence and felicity. + +"I crossed the river this morning. My impatience would not suffer me to +wait till evening. Considering the desolation of the city, I thought I +might venture to approach thus near, without hazard of detection. The +house, at all its avenues, was closed. I stole into the back court. A +window-shutter proved to be unfastened. I entered, and discovered +closets and cabinets unfastened and emptied of all their contents. At +this spectacle my heart sunk. My books, doubtless, had shared the common +destiny. My blood throbbed with painful vehemence as I approached the +study and opened the door. + +"My hopes, that languished for a moment, were revived by the sight of my +shelves, furnished as formerly. I had lighted my candle below, for I +desired not to awaken observation and suspicion by unclosing the +windows. My eye eagerly sought the spot where I remembered to have left +the volume. Its place was empty. The object of all my hopes had eluded +my grasp, and disappeared forever. + +"To paint my confusion, to repeat my execrations on the infatuation +which had rendered, during so long a time that it was in my possession, +this treasure useless to me, and my curses of the fatal interference +which had snatched away the prize, would be only aggravations of my +disappointment and my sorrow. You found me in this state, and know what +followed." + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + + +This narrative threw new light on the character of Welbeck. If accident +had given him possession of this treasure, it was easy to predict on +what schemes of luxury and selfishness it would have been expended. The +same dependence on the world's erroneous estimation, the same devotion +to imposture, and thoughtlessness of futurity, would have constituted +the picture of his future life, as had distinguished the past. + +This money was another's. To retain it for his own use was criminal. Of +this crime he appeared to be as insensible as ever. His own +gratification was the supreme law of his actions. To be subjected to the +necessity of honest labour was the heaviest of all evils, and one from +which he was willing to escape by the commission of suicide. + +The volume which he sought was mine. It was my duty to restore it to the +rightful owner, or, if the legal claimant could not be found, to employ +it in the promotion of virtue and happiness. To give it to Welbeck was +to consecrate it to the purpose of selfishness and misery. My right, +legally considered, was as valid as his. + +But, if I intended not to resign it to him, was it proper to disclose +the truth and explain by whom the volume was purloined from the shelf? +The first impulse was to hide this truth; but my understanding had been +taught, by recent occurrences, to question the justice and deny the +usefulness of secrecy in any case. My principles were true; my motives +were pure: why should I scruple to avow my principles and vindicate my +actions? + +Welbeck had ceased to be dreaded or revered. That awe which was once +created by his superiority of age, refinement of manners, and dignity +of garb, had vanished. I was a boy in years, an indigent and uneducated +rustic; but I was able to discern the illusions of power and riches, and +abjured every claim to esteem that was not founded on integrity. There +was no tribunal before which I should falter in asserting the truth, and +no species of martyrdom which I would not cheerfully embrace in its +cause. + +After some pause, I said, "Cannot you conjecture in what way this volume +has disappeared?" + +"No," he answered, with a sigh. "Why, of all his volumes, this only +should have vanished, was an inexplicable enigma." + +"Perhaps," said I, "it is less important to know how it was removed, +than by whom it is now possessed." + +"Unquestionably; and yet, unless that knowledge enables me to regain the +possession, it will be useless." + +"Useless then it will be, for the present possessor will never return it +to you." + +"Indeed," replied he, in a tone of dejection, "your conjecture is most +probable. Such a prize is of too much value to be given up." + +"What I have said flows not from conjecture, but from knowledge. I know +that it will never be restored to you." + +At these words, Welbeck looked at me with anxiety and doubt:--"You +_know_ that it will not! Have you any knowledge of the book? Can you +tell me what has become of it?" + +"Yes. After our separation on the river, I returned to this house. I +found this volume and secured it. You rightly suspected its contents. +The money was there." + +Welbeck started as if he had trodden on a mine of gold. His first +emotion was rapturous, but was immediately chastened by some degree of +doubt:--"What has become of it? Have you got it? Is it entire? Have you +it with you?" + +"It is unimpaired. I have got it, and shall hold it as a sacred trust +for the rightful proprietor." + +The tone with which this declaration was accompanied shook the new-born +confidence of Welbeck. "The rightful proprietor! true, but I am he. To +me only it belongs, and to me you are, doubtless, willing to restore +it." + +"Mr. Welbeck! It is not my desire to give you perplexity or anguish; to +sport with your passions. On the supposition of your death, I deemed it +no infraction of justice to take this manuscript. Accident unfolded its +contents. I could not hesitate to choose my path. The natural and legal +successor of Vincentio Lodi is his sister. To her, therefore, this +property belongs, and to her only will I give it." + +"Presumptuous boy! And this is your sage decision. I tell you that I am +the owner, and to me you shall render it. Who is this girl? Childish and +ignorant! Unable to consult and to act for herself on the most trivial +occasion. Am I not, by the appointment of her dying brother, her +protector and guardian? Her age produces a legal incapacity of property. +Do you imagine that so obvious an expedient as that of procuring my +legal appointment as her guardian was overlooked by me? If it were +neglected, still my title to provide her subsistence and enjoyment is +unquestionable. + +"Did I not rescue her from poverty, and prostitution, and infamy? Have I +not supplied all her wants with incessant solicitude? Whatever her +condition required has been plenteously supplied. The dwelling and its +furniture was hers, as far a rigid jurisprudence would permit. To +prescribe her expenses and govern her family was the province of her +guardian. + +"You have heard the tale of my anguish and despair. Whence did they flow +but from the frustration of schemes projected for her benefit, as they +were executed with her money and by means which the authority of her +guardian fully justified? Why have I encountered this contagious +atmosphere, and explored my way, like a thief, to this recess, but with +a view to rescue her from poverty and restore to her her own? + +"Your scruples are ridiculous and criminal. I treat them with less +severity, because your youth is raw and your conceptions crude. But if, +after this proof of the justice of my claim, you hesitate to restore the +money, I shall treat you as a robber, who has plundered my cabinet and +refused to refund his spoil." + +These reasonings were powerful and new. I was acquainted with the rights +of guardianship. Welbeck had, in some respects, acted as the friend of +this lady. To vest himself with this office was the conduct which her +youth and helplessness prescribed to her friend. His title to this +money, as her guardian, could not be denied. + +But how was this statement compatible with former representations? No +mention had then been made of guardianship. By thus acting, he would +have thwarted all his schemes for winning the esteem of mankind and +fostering the belief which the world entertained of his opulence and +independence. + +I was thrown, by these thoughts, into considerable perplexity. If his +statement were true, his claim to this money was established; but I +questioned its truth. To intimate my doubts of his veracity would be to +provoke abhorrence and outrage. + +His last insinuation was peculiarly momentous. Suppose him the +fraudulent possessor of this money: shall I be justified in taking it +away by violence under pretence of restoring it to the genuine +proprietor, who, for aught I know, may be dead, or with whom, at least, +I may never procure a meeting? But will not my behaviour on this +occasion be deemed illicit? I entered Welbeck's habitation at midnight, +proceeded to his closet, possessed myself of portable property, and +retired unobserved. Is not guilt imputable to an action like this? + +Welbeck waited with impatience for a conclusion to my pause. My +perplexity and indecision did not abate, and my silence continued. At +length, he repeated his demands, with new vehemence. I was compelled to +answer. I told him, in few words, that his reasonings had not convinced +me of the equity of his claim, and that my determination was unaltered. + +He had not expected this inflexibility from one in my situation. The +folly of opposition, when my feebleness and loneliness were contrasted +with his activity and resources, appeared to him monstrous and glaring; +but his contempt was converted into rage and fear when he reflected +that this folly might finally defeat his hopes. He had probably +determined to obtain the money, let the purchase cost what it would, but +was willing to exhaust pacific expedients before he should resort to +force. He might likewise question whether the money was within his +reach. I had told him that I had it, but whether it was now about me was +somewhat dubious; yet, though he used no direct inquiries, he chose to +proceed on the supposition of its being at hand. His angry tones were +now changed into those of remonstrance and persuasion:-- + +"Your present behaviour, Mervyn, does not justify the expectation I had +formed of you. You have been guilty of a base theft. To this you have +added the deeper crime of ingratitude, but your infatuation and folly +are, at least, as glaring as your guilt. Do you think I can credit your +assertions that you keep this money for another, when I recollect that +six weeks have passed since you carried it off? Why have you not sought +the owner and restored it to her? If your intentions had been honest, +would you have suffered so long a time to elapse without doing this? It +is plain that you designed to keep it for your own use. + +"But, whether this were your purpose or not, you have no longer power to +restore it or retain it. You say that you came hither to die. If so, +what is to be the fate of the money? In your present situation you +cannot gain access to the lady. Some other must inherit this wealth. +Next to _Signora Lodi_, whose right can be put in competition with mine? +But, if you will not give it to me on my own account, let it be given in +trust for her. Let me be the bearer of it to her own hands. I have +already shown you that my claim to it, as her guardian, is legal and +incontrovertible, but this claim I waive. I will merely be the executor +of your will. I will bind myself to comply with your directions by any +oath, however solemn and tremendous, which you shall prescribe." + +As long as my own heart acquitted me, these imputations of dishonesty +affected me but little. They excited no anger, because they originated +in ignorance, and were rendered plausible to Welbeck by such facts as +were known to him. It was needless to confute the charge by elaborate +and circumstantial details. + +It was true that my recovery was, in the highest degree, improbable, and +that my death would put an end to my power over this money; but had I +not determined to secure its useful application in case of my death? +This project was obstructed by the presence of Welbeck; but I hoped that +his love of life would induce him to fly. He might wrest this volume +from me by violence, or he might wait till my death should give him +peaceable possession. But these, though probable events, were not +certain, and would, by no means, justify the voluntary surrender. His +strength, if employed for this end, could not be resisted; but then it +would be a sacrifice, not a choice, but necessity. + +Promises were easily given, but were surely not to be confided in. +Welbeck's own tale, in which it could not be imagined that he had +aggravated his defects, attested the frailty of his virtue. To put into +his hands a sum like this, in expectation of his delivering it to +another, when my death would cover the transaction with impenetrable +secrecy, would be, indeed, a proof of that infatuation which he thought +proper to impute to me. + +These thoughts influenced my resolutions, but they were revolved in +silence. To state them verbally was useless. They would not justify my +conduct in his eyes. They would only exasperate dispute, and impel him +to those acts of violence which I was desirous of preventing. The sooner +this controversy should end, and I in any measure be freed from the +obstruction of his company, the better. + +"Mr. Welbeck," said I, "my regard to your safety compels me to wish that +this interview should terminate. At a different time, I should not be +unwilling to discuss this matter. Now it will be fruitless. My +conscience points out to me too clearly the path I should pursue for me +to mistake it. As long as I have power over this money, I shall keep it +for the use of the unfortunate lady whom I have seen in this house. I +shall exert myself to find her; but, if that be impossible, I shall +appropriate it in a way in which you shall have no participation." + +I will not repeat the contest that succeeded between my forbearance and +his passions. I listened to the dictates of his rage and his avarice in +silence. Astonishment at my inflexibility was blended with his anger. By +turns he commented on the guilt and on the folly of my resolutions. +Sometimes his emotions would mount into fury, and he would approach me +in a menacing attitude, and lift his hand as if he would exterminate me +at a blow. My languid eyes, my cheeks glowing and my temples throbbing +with fever, and my total passiveness, attracted his attention and +arrested his stroke. Compassion would take the place of rage, and the +belief be revived that remonstrances and arguments would answer his +purpose. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. + + +This scene lasted I know not how long. Insensibly the passions and +reasonings of Welbeck assumed a new form. A grief, mingled with +perplexity, overspread his countenance. He ceased to contend or to +speak. His regards were withdrawn from me, on whom they had hitherto +been fixed; and, wandering or vacant, testified a conflict of mind +terrible beyond any that my young imagination had ever conceived. + +For a time he appeared to be unconscious of my presence. He moved to and +fro with unequal steps, and with gesticulations that possessed a +horrible but indistinct significance. Occasionally he struggled for +breath, and his efforts were directed to remove some choking impediment. + +No test of my fortitude had hitherto occurred equal to that to which it +was now subjected. The suspicion which this deportment suggested was +vague and formless. The tempest which I witnessed was the prelude of +horror. These were throes which would terminate in the birth of some +gigantic and sanguinary purpose. Did he meditate to offer a bloody +sacrifice? Was his own death or was mine to attest the magnitude of his +despair or the impetuosity of his vengeance? + +Suicide was familiar to his thoughts. He had consented to live but on +one condition; that of regaining possession of this money. Should I be +justified in driving him, by my obstinate refusal, to this fatal +consummation of his crimes? Yet my fear of this catastrophe was +groundless. Hitherto he had argued and persuaded; but this method was +pursued because it was more eligible than the employment of force, or +than procrastination. + +No. These were tokens that pointed to me. Some unknown instigation was +at work within him, to tear away his remnant of humanity and fit him for +the office of my murderer. I knew not how the accumulation of guilt +could contribute to his gratification or security. His actions had been +partially exhibited and vaguely seen. What extenuations or omissions had +vitiated his former or recent narrative; how far his actual performances +were congenial with the deed which was now to be perpetrated, I knew +not. + +These thoughts lent new rapidity to my blood. I raised my head from the +pillow, and watched the deportment of this man with deeper attention. +The paroxysm which controlled him at length, in some degree, subsided. +He muttered, "Yes. It must come. My last humiliation must cover me. My +last confession must be made. To die, and leave behind me this train of +enormous perils, must not be. + +"O Clemenza! O Mervyn! Ye have not merited that I should leave you a +legacy of persecution and death. Your safety must be purchased at what +price my malignant destiny will set upon it. The cord of the +executioner, the note of everlasting infamy, is better than to leave you +beset by the consequences of my guilt. It must not be." + +Saying this, Welbeck cast fearful glances at the windows and door. He +examined every avenue and listened. Thrice he repeated this scrutiny. +Having, as it seemed, ascertained that no one lurked within audience, he +approached the bed. He put his mouth close to my face. He attempted to +speak, but once more examined the apartment with suspicious glances. + +He drew closer, and at length, in a tone scarcely articulate, and +suffocated with emotion, he spoke:--"Excellent but fatally-obstinate +youth! Know at least the cause of my importunity. Know at least the +depth of my infatuation and the enormity of my guilt. + +"The bills--surrender them to me, and save yourself from persecution and +disgrace. Save the woman whom you wish to benefit, from the blackest +imputations; from hazard to her life and her fame; from languishing in +dungeons; from expiring on the gallows! + +"The bills--oh, save me from the bitterness of death! Let the evils to +which my miserable life has given birth terminate here and in myself. +Surrender them to me, for----" + +There he stopped. His utterence was choked by terror. Rapid glances were +again darted at the windows and door. The silence was uninterrupted, +except by far-off sounds, produced by some moving carriage. Once more he +summoned resolution, and spoke:-- + +"Surrender them to me--for--_they are forged_! + +"Formerly I told you, that a scheme of forgery had been conceived. Shame +would not suffer me to add, that my scheme was carried into execution. +The bills were fashioned, but my fears contended against my necessities, +and forbade me to attempt to exchange them. The interview with Lodi +saved me from the dangerous experiment. I enclosed them in that volume, +as the means of future opulence, to be used when all other and less +hazardous resources should fail. + +"In the agonies of my remorse at the death of Watson, they were +forgotten. They afterwards recurred to recollection. My wishes pointed +to the grave; but the stroke that should deliver me from life was +suspended only till I could hasten hither, get possession of these +papers, and destroy them. + +"When I thought upon the chances that should give them an owner; bring +them into circulation; load the innocent with suspicion; and lead them +to trial, and, perhaps, to death, my sensations were fraught with agony; +earnestly as I panted for death, it was necessarily deferred till I had +gained possession of and destroyed these papers. + +"What now remains? You have found them. Happily they have not been used. +Give them, therefore, to me, that I may crush at once the brood of +mischiefs which they could not but generate." + +This disclosure was strange. It was accompanied with every token of +sincerity. How had I tottered on the brink of destruction! If I had made +use of this money, in what a labyrinth of misery might I not have been +involved! My innocence could never have been proved. An alliance with +Welbeck could not have failed to be inferred. My career would have found +an ignominious close; or, if my punishment had been transmuted into +slavery and toil, would the testimony of my conscience have supported +me? + +I shuddered at the view of those disasters from which I was rescued by +the miraculous chance which led me to this house. Welbeck's request was +salutary to me and honourable to himself. I could not hesitate a moment +in compliance. The notes were enclosed in paper, and deposited in a fold +of my clothes. I put my hand upon them. + +My motion and attention were arrested, at the instant, by a noise which +arose in the street. Footsteps were heard upon the pavement before the +door, and voices, as if busy in discourse. This incident was adapted to +infuse the deepest alarm into myself and my companion. The motives of +our trepidation were, indeed, different, and were infinitely more +powerful in my case than in his. It portended to me nothing less than +the loss of my asylum, and condemnation to an hospital. + +Welbeck hurried to the door, to listen to the conversation below. This +interval was pregnant with thought. That impulse which led my +reflections from Welbeck to my own state passed away in a moment, and +suffered me to meditate anew upon the terms of that confession which had +just been made. + +Horror at the fate which this interview had enabled me to shun was +uppermost in my conceptions. I was eager to surrender these fatal bills. +I held them for that purpose in my hand, and was impatient for Welbeck's +return. He continued at the door; stooping, with his face averted, and +eagerly attentive to the conversation in the street. + +All the circumstances of my present situation tended to arrest the +progress of thought and chain my contemplations to one image; but even +now there was room for foresight and deliberation. Welbeck intended to +destroy these bills. Perhaps he had not been sincere; or, if his +purpose had been honestly disclosed, this purpose might change when the +bills were in his possession. His poverty and sanguineness of temper +might prompt him to use them. + +That this conduct was evil, and would only multiply his miseries, could +not be questioned. Why should I subject his frailty to this temptation? +The destruction of these bills was the loudest injunction of my duty; +was demanded by every sanction which bound me to promote the welfare of +mankind. + +The means of destruction was easy. A lighted candle stood on a table, at +the distance of a few yards. Why should I hesitate a moment to +annihilate so powerful a cause of error and guilt? A passing instant was +sufficient. A momentary lingering might change the circumstances that +surrounded me, and frustrate my project. + +My languors were suspended by the urgencies of this occasion. I started +from my bed and glided to the table. Seizing the notes with my right +hand, I held them in the flame of the candle, and then threw them, +blazing, on the floor. + +The sudden illumination was perceived by Welbeck. The cause of it +appeared to suggest itself as soon. He turned, and, marking the paper +where it lay, leaped to the spot, and extinguished the fire with his +foot. His interposition was too late. Only enough of them remained to +inform him of the nature of the sacrifice. + +Welbeck now stood, with limbs trembling, features aghast, and eyes +glaring upon me. For a time he was without speech. The storm was +gathering in silence, and at length burst upon me. In a tone menacing +and loud, he exclaimed,-- + +"Wretch! what have you done?" + +"I have done justly. These notes were false. You desired to destroy +them, that they might not betray the innocent. I applauded your purpose, +and have saved you from the danger of temptation by destroying them +myself." + +"Maniac! Miscreant! To be fooled by so gross an artifice! The notes were +genuine. The tale of their forgery was false and meant only to wrest +them from you. Execrable and perverse idiot! Your deed has sealed my +perdition. It has sealed your own. You shall pay for it with your blood. +I will slay you by inches. I will stretch you, as you have stretched me, +on the rack." + +During this speech, all was frenzy and storm in the countenance and +features of Welbeck. Nothing less could be expected than that the scene +would terminate in some bloody catastrophe. I bitterly regretted the +facility with which I had been deceived, and the precipitation of my +sacrifice. The act, however lamentable, could not be revoked. What +remained but to encounter or endure its consequences with unshrinking +firmness? + +The contest was too unequal. It is possible that the frenzy which +actuated Welbeck might have speedily subsided. It is more likely that +his passions would have been satiated with nothing but my death. This +event was precluded by loud knocks at the street door, and calls by some +one on the pavement without, of--"Who is within? Is any one within?" + +These noises gave a new direction to Welbeck's thoughts. "They are +coming," said he. "They will treat you as a sick man and a thief. I +cannot desire you to suffer a worse evil than they will inflict. I leave +you to your fate." So saying, he rushed out of the room. + +Though confounded and stunned by this rapid succession of events, I was +yet able to pursue measures for eluding these detested visitants. I +first extinguished the light, and then, observing that the parley in the +street continued and grew louder, I sought an asylum in the remotest +corner of the house. During my former abode here, I noticed that a +trap-door opened in the ceiling of the third story, to which you were +conducted by a movable stair or ladder. I considered that this, +probably, was an opening into a narrow and darksome nook formed by the +angle of the roof. By ascending, drawing after me the ladder, and +closing the door, I should escape the most vigilant search. + +Enfeebled as I was by my disease, my resolution rendered me strenuous. I +gained the uppermost room, and, mounting the ladder, found myself at a +sufficient distance from suspicion. The stair was hastily drawn up, and +the door closed. In a few minutes, however, my new retreat proved to be +worse than any for which it was possible to change it. The air was +musty, stagnant, and scorchingly hot. My breathing became difficult, and +I saw that to remain here ten minutes would unavoidably produce +suffocation. + +My terror of intruders had rendered me blind to the consequences of +immuring myself in this cheerless recess. It was incumbent on me to +extricate myself as speedily as possible. I attempted to lift the door. +My first effort was successless. Every inspiration was quicker and more +difficult than the former. As my terror, so my strength and my exertions +increased. Finally my trembling hand lighted on a nail that was +imperfectly driven into the wood, and which, by affording me a firmer +hold, enabled me at length to raise it, and to inhale the air from +beneath. + +Relieved from my new peril by this situation, I bent an attentive ear +through the opening, with a view to ascertain if the house had been +entered or if the outer door was still beset, but could hear nothing. +Hence I was authorized to conclude that the people had departed, and +that I might resume my former station without hazard. + +Before I descended, however, I cast a curious eye over this recess. It +was large enough to accommodate a human being. The means by which it was +entered were easily concealed. Though narrow and low, it was long, and, +were it possible to contrive some inlet for the air, one studious of +concealment might rely on its protection with unbounded confidence. + +My scrutiny was imperfect by reason of the faint light which found its +way through the opening; yet it was sufficient to set me afloat on a sea +of new wonders and subject my fortitude to a new test.-- + +Here Mervyn paused in his narrative. A minute passed in silence and +seeming indecision. His perplexities gradually disappeared, and he +continued:-- + + * * * * * + +I have promised to relate the momentous incidents of my life, and have +hitherto been faithful in my enumeration. There is nothing which I more +detest than equivocation and mystery. Perhaps, however, I shall now +incur some imputation of that kind. I would willingly escape the +accusation, but confess that I am hopeless of escaping it. + +I might, indeed, have precluded your guesses and surmises by omitting to +relate what befell me from the time of my leaving my chamber till I +regained it. I might deceive you by asserting that nothing remarkable +occurred; but this would be false, and every sacrifice is trivial which +is made upon the altar of sincerity. Besides, the time may come when no +inconvenience will arise from minute descriptions of the objects which I +now saw, and of the reasonings and inferences which they suggested to my +understanding. At present, it appears to be my duty to pass them over in +silence; but it would be needless to conceal from you that the interval, +though short, and the scrutiny, though hasty, furnished matter which my +curiosity devoured with unspeakable eagerness, and from which +consequences may hereafter flow, deciding on my peace and my life. + +Nothing, however, occurred which could detain me long in this spot. I +once more sought the lower story and threw myself on the bed which I had +left. My mind was thronged with the images flowing from my late +adventure. My fever had gradually increased, and my thoughts were +deformed by inaccuracy and confusion. + +My heart did not sink when I reverted to my own condition. That I should +quickly be disabled from moving, was readily perceived. The foresight of +my destiny was steadfast and clear. To linger for days in this +comfortless solitude, to ask in vain, not for powerful restoratives or +alleviating cordials, but for water to moisten my burning lips and abate +the torments of thirst; ultimately to expire in torpor or frenzy, was +the fate to which I looked forward; yet I was not terrified. I seemed to +be sustained by a preternatural energy. I felt as if the opportunity of +combating such evils was an enviable privilege, and, though none would +witness my victorious magnanimity, yet to be conscious that praise was +my due was all that my ambition required. + +These sentiments were doubtless tokens of delirium. The excruciating +agonies which now seized upon my head, and the cord which seemed to be +drawn across my breast, and which, as my fancy imagined, was tightened +by some forcible hand, with a view to strangle me, were incompatible +with sober and coherent views. + +Thirst was the evil which chiefly oppressed me. The means of relief was +pointed out by nature and habit. I rose, and determined to replenish my +pitcher at the well. It was easier, however, to descend than to return. +My limbs refused to bear me, and I sat down upon the lower step of the +staircase. Several hours had elapsed since my entrance into this +dwelling, and it was now night. + +My imagination now suggested a new expedient. Medlicote was a generous +and fearless spirit. To put myself under his protection, if I could walk +as far as his lodgings, was the wisest proceeding which I could adopt. +From this design, my incapacity to walk thus far, and the consequences +of being discovered in the street, had hitherto deterred me. These +impediments were now, in the confusion of my understanding, overlooked +or despised, and I forthwith set out upon this hopeless expedition. + +The doors communicating with the court, and, through the court, with the +street, were fastened by inside bolts. These were easily withdrawn, and +I issued forth with alacrity and confidence. My perturbed senses and the +darkness hindered me from discerning the right way. I was conscious of +this difficulty, but was not disheartened. I proceeded, as I have since +discovered, in a direction different from the true, but hesitated not +till my powers were exhausted and I sunk upon the ground. I closed my +eyes, and dismissed all fear, and all foresight of futurity. In this +situation I remained some hours, and should probably have expired on +this spot, had not I attracted your notice, and been provided, under +this roof, with all that medical skill, that the tenderest humanity +could suggest. + +In consequence of your care, I have been restored to life and to health. +Your conduct was not influenced by the prospect of pecuniary recompense, +of service, or of gratitude. It is only in one way that I am able to +heighten the gratification which must flow from reflection on your +conduct:--by showing that the being whose life you have prolonged, +though uneducated, ignorant, and poor, is not profligate and worthless, +and will not dedicate that life which your bounty has given, to +mischievous or contemptible purposes. + + +END OF VOL I. + + + + +ARTHUR MERVYN; + +OR, + +MEMOIRS OF THE YEAR 1793. + +VOL. II. + + + + +ARTHUR MERVYN. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + + +Here ended the narrative of Mervyn. Surely its incidents were of no +common kind. During this season of pestilence, my opportunities of +observation had been numerous, and I had not suffered them to pass +unimproved. The occurrences which fell within my own experience bore a +general resemblance to those which had just been related, but they did +not hinder the latter from striking on my mind with all the force of +novelty. They served no end, but as vouchers for the truth of the tale. + +Surely the youth had displayed inimitable and heroic qualities. His +courage was the growth of benevolence and reason, and not the child of +insensibility and the nursling of habit. He had been qualified for the +encounter of gigantic dangers by no laborious education. He stepped +forth upon the stage, unfurnished, by anticipation or experience, with +the means of security against fraud; and yet, by the aid of pure +intentions, had frustrated the wiles of an accomplished and veteran +deceiver. + +I blessed the chance which placed the youth under my protection. When I +reflected on that tissue of nice contingencies which led him to my door, +and enabled me to save from death a being of such rare endowments, my +heart overflowed with joy, not unmingled with regrets and trepidation. +How many have been cut off by this disease, in their career of virtue +and their blossom-time of genius! How many deeds of heroism and +self-devotion are ravished from existence, and consigned to hopeless +oblivion! + +I had saved the life of this youth. This was not the limit of my duty or +my power. Could I not render that life profitable to himself and to +mankind? The gains of my profession were slender; but these gains were +sufficient for his maintenance as well as my own. By residing with me, +partaking my instructions, and reading my books, he would, in a few +years, be fitted for the practice of physic. A science whose truths are +so conducive to the welfare of mankind, and which comprehends the whole +system of nature, could not but gratify a mind so beneficent and +strenuous as his. + +This scheme occurred to me as soon as the conclusion of his tale allowed +me to think. I did not immediately mention it, since the approbation of +my wife, of whose concurrence, however, I entertained no doubt, was +previously to be obtained. Dismissing it, for the present, from my +thoughts, I reverted to the incidents of his tale. + +The lady whom Welbeck had betrayed and deserted was not unknown to me. I +was but too well acquainted with her fate. If she had been single in +calamity, her tale would have been listened to with insupportable +sympathy; but the frequency of the spectacle of distress seems to lessen +the compassion with which it is reviewed. Now that those scenes are only +remembered, my anguish is greater than when they were witnessed. Then +every new day was only a repetition of the disasters of the foregoing. +My sensibility, if not extinguished, was blunted; and I gazed upon the +complicated ills of poverty and sickness with a degree of unconcern on +which I should once have reflected with astonishment. + +The fate of Clemenza Lodi was not, perhaps, more signal than many which +have occurred. It threw detestable light upon the character of Welbeck, +and showed him to be more inhuman than the tale of Mervyn had evinced +him to be. That man, indeed, was hitherto imperfectly seen. The time had +not come which should fully unfold the enormity of his transgressions +and the complexity of his frauds. + +There lived in a remote quarter of the city a woman, by name Villars, +who passed for the widow of an English officer. Her manners and mode of +living were specious. She had three daughters, well trained in the +school of fashion, and elegant in person, manners, and dress. They had +lately arrived from Europe, and, for a time, received from their +neighbours that respect to which their education and fortune appeared to +lay claim. + +The fallacy of their pretensions slowly appeared. It began to be +suspected that their subsistence was derived not from pension or +patrimony, but from the wages of pollution. Their habitation was +clandestinely frequented by men who were unfaithful to their secret; one +of these was allied to me by ties which authorized me in watching his +steps and detecting his errors, with a view to his reformation. From him +I obtained a knowledge of the genuine character of these women. + +A man like Welbeck, who was the slave of depraved appetites, could not +fail of being quickly satiated with innocence and beauty. Some accident +introduced him to the knowledge of this family, and the youngest +daughter found him a proper subject on which to exercise her artifices. +It was to the frequent demands made upon his purse, by this woman, that +part of the embarrassments in which Mervyn found him involved are to be +ascribed. + +To this circumstance must likewise be imputed his anxiety to transfer to +some other the possession of the unhappy stranger. Why he concealed from +Mervyn his connection with Lucy Villars may be easily imagined. His +silence with regard to Clemenza's asylum will not create surprise, when +it was told that she was placed with Mrs. Villars. On what conditions +she was received under this roof, cannot be so readily conjectured. It +is obvious, however, to suppose that advantage was to be taken of her +ignorance and weakness, and that they hoped, in time, to make her an +associate in their profligate schemes. + +The appearance of pestilence, meanwhile, threw them into panic, and they +hastened to remove from danger. Mrs. Villars appears to have been a +woman of no ordinary views. She stooped to the vilest means of amassing +money; but this money was employed to secure to herself and her +daughters the benefits of independence. She purchased the house which +she occupied in the city, and a mansion in the environs, well built and +splendidly furnished. To the latter, she and her family, of which the +Italian girl was now a member, retired at the close of July. + +I have mentioned that the source of my intelligence was a kinsman, who +had been drawn from the paths of sobriety and rectitude by the +impetuosity of youthful passions. He had power to confess and deplore, +but none to repair, his errors. One of these women held him by a spell +which he struggled in vain to dissolve, and by which, in spite of +resolutions and remorses, he was drawn to her feet, and made to +sacrifice to her pleasure his reputation and his fortune. + +My house was his customary abode during those intervals in which he was +persuaded to pursue his profession. Some time before the infection began +its progress, he had disappeared. No tidings were received of him, till +a messenger arrived, entreating my assistance. I was conducted to the +house of Mrs. Villars, in which I found no one but my kinsman. Here, it +seems, he had immured himself from my inquiries, and, on being seized by +the reigning malady, had been deserted by the family, who, ere they +departed, informed me by a messenger of his condition. + +Despondency combined with his disease to destroy him. Before he died, he +informed me fully of the character of his betrayers. The late arrival, +name, and personal condition of Clemenza Lodi were related. Welbeck was +not named, but was described in terms which, combined with the narrative +of Mervyn, enabled me to recognise the paramour of Lucy Villars in the +man whose crimes had been the principal theme of our discourse. + +Mervyn's curiosity was greatly roused when I intimated my acquaintance +with the fate of Clemenza. In answer to his eager interrogations, I +related what I knew. The tale plunged him into reverie. Recovering, at +length, from his thoughtfulness, he spoke:-- + +"Her condition is perilous. The poverty of Welbeck will drive him far +from her abode. Her profligate protectors will entice her or abandon her +to ruin. Cannot she be saved?" + +"I know not," answered I, "by what means." + +"The means are obvious. Let her remove to some other dwelling. Let her +be apprized of the vices of those who surround her. Let her be entreated +to fly. The will need only be inspired, the danger need only be shown, +and she is safe, for she will remove beyond its reach." + +"Thou art an adventurous youth. Who wilt thou find to undertake the +office? Who will be persuaded to enter the house of a stranger, seek +without an introduction the presence of this girl, tell her that the +house she inhabits is a house of prostitution, prevail on her to believe +the tale, and persuade her to accompany him? Who will open his house to +the fugitive? Whom will you convince that her illicit intercourse with +Welbeck, of which the opprobrious tokens cannot be concealed, has not +fitted her for the company of prostitutes, and made her unworthy of +protection? Who will adopt into their family a stranger whose conduct +has incurred infamy, and whose present associates have, no doubt, made +her worthy of the curse?" + +"True. These are difficulties which I did not foresee. Must she then +perish? Shall not something be done to rescue her from infamy and +guilt?" + +"It is neither in your power nor in mine to do any thing." + +The lateness of the hour put an end to our conversation and summoned us +to repose. I seized the first opportunity of imparting to my wife the +scheme which had occurred, relative to our guest; with which, as I +expected, she readily concurred. In the morning, I mentioned it to +Mervyn. I dwelt upon the benefits that adhered to the medical +profession, the power which it confers of lightening the distresses of +our neighbours, the dignity which popular opinion annexes to it, the +avenue which it opens to the acquisition of competence, the freedom from +servile cares which attends it, and the means of intellectual +gratification with which it supplies us. + +As I spoke, his eyes sparkled with joy. "Yes," said he, with vehemence, +"I willingly embrace your offer. I accept this benefit, because I know +that, if my pride should refuse it, I should prove myself less worthy +than you think, and give you pain, instead of that pleasure which I am +bound to confer. I would enter on the duties and studies of my new +profession immediately; but somewhat is due to Mr. Hadwin and his +daughters. I cannot vanquish my inquietudes respecting them, but by +returning to Malverton and ascertaining their state with my own eyes. +You know in what circumstances I parted with Wallace and Mr. Hadwin. I +am not sure that either of them ever reached home, or that they did not +carry the infection along with them. I now find myself sufficiently +strong to perform the journey, and purposed to have acquainted you, at +this interview, with my intentions. An hour's delay is superfluous, and +I hope you will consent to my setting out immediately. Rural exercise +and air, for a week or fortnight, will greatly contribute to my health." + +No objection could be made to this scheme. His narrative had excited no +common affection in our bosoms for the Hadwins. His visit could not only +inform us of their true state, but would dispel that anxiety which they +could not but entertain respecting our guest. It was a topic of some +surprise that neither Wallace nor Hadwin had returned to the city, with +a view to obtain some tidings of their friend. It was more easy to +suppose them to have been detained by some misfortune, than by +insensibility or indolence. In a few minutes Mervyn bade us adieu, and +set out upon his journey, promising to acquaint us with the state of +affairs as soon as possible after his arrival. We parted from him with +reluctance, and found no consolation but in the prospect of his speedy +return. + +During his absence, conversation naturally turned upon those topics +which were suggested by the narrative and deportment of this youth. +Different conclusions were formed by his two auditors. They had both +contracted a deep interest in his welfare, and an ardent curiosity as to +those particulars which his unfinished story had left in obscurity. The +true character and actual condition of Welbeck were themes of much +speculation. Whether he were dead or alive, near or distant from his +ancient abode, was a point on which neither Mervyn, nor any of those +with whom I had means of intercourse, afforded any information. Whether +he had shared the common fate, and had been carried by the collectors of +the dead from the highway or the hovel to the pits opened alike for the +rich and the poor, the known and the unknown; whether he had escaped to +a foreign shore, or were destined to reappear upon this stage, were +questions involved in uncertainty. + +The disappearance of Watson would, at a different time, have excited +much inquiry and suspicion; but, as this had taken place on the eve of +the epidemic, his kindred and friends would acquiesce, without scruple, +in the belief that he had been involved in the general calamity, and was +to be numbered among the earliest victims. Those of his profession +usually resided in the street where the infection began, and where its +ravages had been most destructive; and this circumstance would +corroborate the conclusions of his friends. + +I did not perceive any immediate advantage to flow from imparting the +knowledge I had lately gained to others. Shortly after Mervyn's +departure to Malverton, I was visited by Wortley. Inquiring for my +guest, I told him that, having recovered his health, he had left my +house. He repeated his invectives against the villany of Welbeck, his +suspicions of Mervyn, and his wishes for another interview with the +youth. Why had I suffered him to depart, and whither had he gone? + +"He has gone for a short time into the country. I expect him to return +in less than a week, when you will meet with him here as often as you +please, for I expect him to take up his abode in this house." + +Much astonishment and disapprobation were expressed by my friend. I +hinted that the lad had made disclosures to me, which justified my +confidence in his integrity. These proofs of his honesty were not of a +nature to be indiscriminately unfolded. Mervyn had authorized me to +communicate so much of his story to Wortley, as would serve to vindicate +him from the charge of being Welbeck's co-partner in fraud; but this end +would only be counteracted by an imperfect tale, and the full recital, +though it might exculpate Mervyn, might produce inconveniences by which +this advantage would be outweighed. + +Wortley, as might be naturally expected, was by no means satisfied with +this statement. He suspected that Mervyn was a wily impostor; that he +had been trained in the arts of fraud, under an accomplished teacher; +that the tale which he had told to me was a tissue of ingenious and +plausible lies; that the mere assertions, however plausible and solemn, +of one like him, whose conduct had incurred such strong suspicions, were +unworthy of the least credit. + +"It cannot be denied," continued my friend, "that he lived with Welbeck +at the time of his elopement; that they disappeared together; that they +entered a boat, at Pine Street wharf, at midnight; that this boat was +discovered by the owner in the possession of a fisherman at Redbank, who +affirmed that he had found it stranded near his door, the day succeeding +that on which they disappeared. Of all this I can supply you with +incontestable proof. If, after this proof, you can give credit to his +story, I shall think you made of very perverse and credulous materials." + +"The proof you mention," said I, "will only enhance his credibility. All +the facts which you have stated have been admitted by him. They +constitute an essential portion of his narrative." + +"What then is the inference? Are not these evidences of a compact +between them? Has he not acknowledged this compact in confessing that he +knew Welbeck was my debtor; that he was apprized of his flight, but that +(what matchless effrontery!) he had promised secrecy, and would, by no +means, betray him? You say he means to return; but of that I doubt. You +will never see his face more. He is too wise to thrust himself again +into the noose; but I do not utterly despair of lighting upon Welbeck. +Old Thetford, Jamieson, and I, have sworn to hunt him through the world. +I have strong hopes that he has not strayed far. Some intelligence has +lately been received, which has enabled us to place our hounds upon his +scent. He may double and skulk; but, if he does not fall into our toils +at last, he will have the agility and cunning, as well as the malignity, +of devils." + +The vengeful disposition thus betrayed by Wortley was not without +excuse. The vigour of his days had been spent in acquiring a slender +capital; his diligence and honesty had succeeded, and he had lately +thought his situation such as to justify marriage with an excellent +woman, to whom he had for years been betrothed, but from whom his +poverty had hitherto compelled him to live separate. Scarcely had this +alliance taken place, and the full career of nuptial enjoyments begun, +when his ill fate exposed him to the frauds of Welbeck, and brought him, +in one evil hour, to the brink of insolvency. + +Jamieson and Thetford, however, were rich, and I had not till now been +informed that they had reasons for pursuing Welbeck with peculiar +animosity. The latter was the uncle of him whose fate had been related +by Mervyn, and was one of those who employed money, not as the medium of +traffic, but as in itself a commodity. He had neither wines nor cloths, +to transmute into silver. He thought it a tedious process to exchange +to-day one hundred dollars for a cask or bale, and to-morrow exchange +the bale or cask for one hundred _and ten_ dollars. It was better to +give the hundred for a piece of paper, which, carried forthwith to the +money-changers, he could procure a hundred twenty-three and +three-fourths. In short, this man's coffers were supplied by the despair +of honest men and the stratagems of rogues. I did not immediately +suspect how this man's prudence and indefatigable attention to his own +interest should allow him to become the dupe of Welbeck. + +"What," said I, "is old Thetford's claim upon Welbeck?" + +"It is a claim," he replied, "that, if it ever be made good, will doom +Welbeck to imprisonment and wholesome labour for life." + +"How? Surely it is nothing more than debt." + +"Have you not heard? But that is no wonder. Happily you are a stranger +to mercantile anxieties and revolutions. Your fortune does not rest on a +basis which an untoward blast may sweep away, or four strokes of a pen +may demolish. That hoary dealer in suspicions was persuaded to put his +hand to three notes for eight hundred dollars each. The _eight_ was then +dexterously prolonged to eigh_teen_; they were duly deposited in time +and place, and the next day Welbeck was credited for fifty-three hundred +and seventy-three, which, an hour after, were _told out_ to his +messenger. Hard to say whether the old man's grief, shame, or rage, be +uppermost. He disdains all comfort but revenge, and that he will procure +at any price. Jamieson, who deals in the same _stuff_ with Thetford, was +outwitted in the same manner, to the same amount, and on the same day. + +"This Welbeck must have powers above the common rate of mortals. Grown +gray in studying the follies and the stratagems of men, these veterans +were overreached. No one pities them. 'Twere well if his artifices had +been limited to such, and he had spared the honest and the poor. It is +for his injuries to men who have earned their scanty subsistence without +forfeiting their probity, that I hate him, and shall exult to see him +suffer all the rigours of the law." Here Wortley's engagements compelled +him to take his leave. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + + +While musing upon these facts, I could not but reflect with astonishment +on the narrow escapes which Mervyn's virtue had experienced. I was by no +means certain that his fame or his life was exempt from all danger, or +that the suspicions which had already been formed respecting him could +possibly be wiped away. Nothing but his own narrative, repeated with +that simple but nervous eloquence which we had witnessed, could rescue +him from the most heinous charges. Was there any tribunal that would not +acquit him on merely hearing his defence? + +Surely the youth was honest. His tale could not be the fruit of +invention; and yet, what are the bounds of fraud? Nature has set no +limits to the combinations of fancy. A smooth exterior, a show of +virtue, and a specious tale, are, a thousand times, exhibited in human +intercourse by craft and subtlety. Motives are endlessly varied, while +actions continue the same; and an acute penetration may not find it hard +to select and arrange motives, suited to exempt from censure any action +that a human being can commit. + +Had I heard Mervyn's story from another, or read it in a book, I might, +perhaps, have found it possible to suspect the truth; but, as long as +the impression made by his tones, gestures, and looks, remained in my +memory, this suspicion was impossible. Wickedness may sometimes be +ambiguous, its mask may puzzle the observer; our judgment may be made to +falter and fluctuate, but the face of Mervyn is the index of an honest +mind. Calm or vehement, doubting or confident, it is full of benevolence +and candour. He that listens to his words may question their truth, but +he that looks upon his countenance when speaking cannot withhold his +faith. + +It was possible, however, to find evidence supporting or confuting his +story. I chanced to be acquainted with a family, by name Althorpe, who +were natives of that part of the country where his father resided. I +paid them a visit, and, after a few preliminaries, mentioned, as if by +accident, the name of Mervyn. They immediately recognised this name as +belonging to one of their ancient neighbours. The death of the wife and +sons, and the seduction of the only daughter by Colvill, with many +pathetic incidents connected with the fate of this daughter, were +mentioned. + +This intelligence induced me to inquire of Mrs. Althorpe, a sensible and +candid woman, if she were acquainted with the recent or present +situation of this family. + +"I cannot say much," she answered, "of my own knowledge. Since my +marriage, I am used to spend a few weeks of summer at my father's, but +am less inquisitive than I once was into the concerns of my old +neighbours. I recollect, however, when there, last year, during _the +fever_, to have heard that Sawny Mervyn had taken a second wife; that +his only son, a youth of eighteen, had thought proper to be highly +offended with his father's conduct, and treated the new mistress of the +house with insult and contempt. I should not much wonder at this, seeing +children are so apt to deem themselves unjustly treated by a second +marriage of their parent; but it was hinted that the boy's jealousy and +discontent were excited by no common cause. The new mother was not much +older than himself, had been a servant of the family, and a criminal +intimacy had subsisted between her, while in that condition, and the +son. Her marriage with his father was justly accounted by their +neighbours a most profligate and odious transaction. The son, perhaps, +had, in such a case, a right to scold, but he ought not to have carried +his anger to such extremes as have been imputed to him. He is said to +have grinned upon her with contempt, and even to have called her +_strumpet_ in the presence of his father and of strangers. + +"It was impossible for such a family to keep together. Arthur took leave +one night to possess himself of all his father's cash, mount the best +horse in his meadow, and elope. For a time, no one knew whither he had +gone. At last, one was said to have met with him in the streets of this +city, metamorphosed from a rustic lad into a fine gentleman. Nothing +could be quicker than this change, for he left the country on a Saturday +morning, and was seen in a French frock and silk stockings, going into +Christ's Church the next day. I suppose he kept it up with a high hand, +as long as his money lasted. + +"My lather paid us a visit last week, and, among other country-news, +told us that Sawny Mervyn had sold his place. His wife had persuaded him +to try his fortune in the Western country. The price of his hundred +acres here would purchase a thousand there, and the man, being very +gross and ignorant, and, withal, quite a simpleton, found no difficulty +in perceiving that a thousand are ten times more than a hundred. He was +not aware that a rood of ground upon Schuylkill is tenfold better than +an acre on the Tennessee. + +"The woman turned out to be an artful profligate. Having sold his ground +and gotten his money, he placed it in her keeping, and she, to enjoy it +with the more security, ran away to the city; leaving him to prosecute +his journey to Kentucky moneyless and alone. Some time after, Mr. +Althorpe and I were at the play, when he pointed out to me a group of +females in an upper box, one of whom was no other than Betty Lawrence. +It was not easy to recognise, in her present gaudy trim, all flaunting +with ribbons and shining with trinkets, the same Betty who used to deal +out pecks of potatoes and superintend her basket of cantaloupes in the +Jersey market, in pasteboard bonnet and linsey petticoat. Her companions +were of the infamous class. If Arthur were still in the city, there is +no doubt that the mother and son might renew the ancient terms of their +acquaintance. + +"The old man, thus robbed and betrayed, sought consolation in the +bottle, of which he had been at all times over-fond. He wandered from +one tavern to another till his credit was exhausted, and then was sent +to jail, where, I believe, he is likely to continue till his death. +Such, my friend, is the history of the Mervyns." + +"What proof," said I, "have you of the immoral conduct of the son? Of +his mistreatment of his mother, and his elopement with his father's +horse and money?" + +"I have no proof but the unanimous report of Mervyn's neighbours. +Respectable and honest men have affirmed, in my hearing, that they had +been present when the boy treated his mother in the way that I have +described. I was, besides, once in company with the old man, and heard +him bitterly inveigh against his son, and charge him with the fact of +stealing his horse and money. I well remember that tears rolled from his +eyes while talking on the subject. As to his being seen in the city the +next day after his elopement, dressed in a most costly and fashionable +manner, I can doubt that as little as the rest, for he that saw him was +my father, and you, who know my father, know what credit is due to his +eyes and his word. He had seen Arthur often enough not to be mistaken, +and described his appearance with great exactness. The boy is extremely +handsome, give him his due; has dark hazel eyes, auburn hair, and very +elegant proportions. His air and gait have nothing of the clown in them. +Take away his jacket and trousers, and you have as spruce a fellow as +ever came from dancing-school or college. He is the exact picture of his +mother, and the most perfect contrast to the sturdy legs, squat figure, +and broad, unthinking, sheepish face of the father that can be imagined. +You must confess that his appearance here is a pretty strong proof of +the father's assertions. The money given for these clothes could not +possibly have been honestly acquired. It is to be presumed that they +were bought or stolen, for how else should they have been gotten?" + +"What was this lad's personal deportment during the life of his mother, +and before his father's second marriage?" + +"Very little to the credit of his heart or his intellects. Being the +youngest son, the only one who at length survived, and having a +powerful resemblance to herself, he became the mother's favourite. His +constitution was feeble, and he loved to stroll in the woods more than +to plough or sow. This idleness was much against his father's +inclination and judgment; and, indeed, it was the foundation of all his +vices. When he could be prevailed upon to do any thing it was in a +bungling manner, and so as to prove that his thoughts were fixed on any +thing except his business. When his assistance was wanted he was never +to be found at hand. They were compelled to search for him among the +rocks and bushes, and he was generally discovered sauntering along the +bank of a river, or lolling in the shade of a tree. This disposition to +inactivity and laziness, in so young a man, was very strange. Persons of +his age are rarely fond of work, but then they are addicted to company, +and sports, and exercises. They ride, or shoot, or frolic; but this +being moped away his time in solitude, never associated with other young +people, never mounted a horse but when he could not help it, and never +fired a gun or angled for a fish in his life. Some people supposed him +to be half an idiot, or, at least, not to be right in his mind; and, +indeed, his conduct was so very perverse and singular, that I do not +wonder at those who accounted for it in this way." + +"But surely," said I, "he had some object of pursuit. Perhaps he was +addicted to books." + +"Far from it. On the contrary, his aversion to school was as great as +his hatred of the plough. He never could get his lessons or bear the +least constraint. He was so much indulged by his mother at home, that +tasks and discipline of any kind were intolerable. He was a perpetual +truant; till, the master one day attempting to strike him, he ran out of +the room and never entered it more. The mother excused and countenanced +his frowardness, and the foolish father was obliged to give way. I do +not believe he had two months' schooling in his life." + +"Perhaps," said I, "he preferred studying by himself, and at liberty. I +have known boys endowed with great curiosity and aptitude to learning, +who never could endure set tasks, and spurned at the pedagogue and his +rod." + +"I have known such likewise, but this was not one of them. I know not +whence he could derive his love of knowledge or the means of acquiring +it. The family were totally illiterate. The father was a Scotch peasant, +whose ignorance was so great that he could not sign his name. His wife, +I believe, could read, and might sometimes decipher the figures in an +almanac; but that was all. I am apt to think that the son's ability was +not much greater. You might as well look for silver platters or marble +tables in his house, as for a book or a pen. + +"I remember calling at their house one evening in the winter before +last. It was intensely cold; and my father, who rode with me, having +business with Sawny Mervyn, we stopped a minute at his gate; and, while +the two old men were engaged in conversation, I begged leave to warm +myself by the kitchen fire. Here, in the chimney-corner, seated on a +block, I found Arthur busily engaged in _knitting stockings_! I thought +this a whimsical employment for a young active man. I told him so, for I +wanted to put him to the blush; but he smiled in my face, and answered, +without the least discomposure, 'Just as whimsical a business for a +young active woman. Pray, did you never knit a stocking?' + +"'Yes; but that was from necessity. Were I of a different sex, or did I +possess the strength of a man, I should rather work in my field or study +my book.' + +"'Rejoice that you are a woman, then, and are at liberty to pursue that +which costs least labour and demands most skill. You see, though a man, +I use your privilege, and prefer knitting yarn to threshing my brain +with a book or the barn-floor with a flail.' + +"'I wonder,' said I, contemptuously, 'you do not put on the petticoat as +well as handle the needle.' + +"'Do not wonder,' he replied; 'it is because I hate a petticoat +encumbrance as much as I love warm feet. Look there,' (offering the +stocking to my inspection:) 'is it not well done?' + +"I did not touch it, but sneeringly said, 'Excellent! I wonder you do +not apprentice yourself to a tailor.' + +"He looked at me with an air of ridiculous simplicity, and said, 'How +prone the woman is to _wonder_! You call the work excellent, and yet +_wonder_ that I do not make myself a slave to improve my skill! Did you +learn needlework from seven years' squatting on a tailor's board? Had +you come to me, I would have taught you in a day.' + +"'I was taught at school.' + +"'And paid your instructor?' + +"'To-be-sure.' + +"''Twas liberty and money thrown away. Send your sister, if you have +one, to me, and I will teach her without either rod or wages. Will you?' + +"'You have an old and a violent antipathy, I believe, to any thing like +a school.' + +"'True. It was early and violent. Had not you?' + +"'No. I went to school with pleasure; for I thought to read and write +were accomplishments of some value.' + +"'Indeed? Then I misunderstood you just now. I thought you said that, +had you the strength of a man, you should prefer the plough and the book +to the needle. Whence, supposing you a female, I inferred that you had a +woman's love for the needle and a fool's hatred of books.' + +"My father calling me from without, I now made a motion to go. 'Stay,' +continued he, with great earnestness, throwing aside his +knitting-apparatus, and beginning in great haste to pull off his +stockings. 'Draw these stockings over your shoes. They will save your +feet from the snow while walking to your horse.' + +"Half angry, and half laughing, I declined the offer. He had drawn them +off, however, and, holding them in his hand, 'Be persuaded,' said he; +'only lift your feet, and I will slip them on in a trice.' + +"Finding me positive in my refusal, he dropped the stockings; and, +without more ado, caught me up in his arms, rushed out of the room, and, +running barefoot through the snow, set me fairly on my horse. All was +done in a moment, and before I had time to reflect on his intentions. He +then seized my hand, and, kissing it with great fervour, exclaimed, 'A +thousand thanks to you for not accepting my stockings. You have thereby +saved yourself and me the time and toil of drawing on and drawing off. +Since you have taught me to wonder, let me practise the lesson in +wondering at your folly, in wearing worsted shoes and silk stockings at +a season like this. Take my counsel, and turn your silk to worsted and +your worsted to leather. Then may you hope for warm feet and dry. What! +Leave the gate without a blessing on your counsellor?' + +"I spurred my horse into a gallop, glad to escape from so strange a +being. I could give you many instances of behaviour equally singular, +and which betrayed a mixture of shrewdness and folly, of kindness and +impudence, which justified, perhaps, the common notion that his +intellects were unsound. Nothing was more remarkable than his +impenetrability to ridicule and censure. You might revile him for hours, +and he would listen to you with invincible composure. To awaken anger or +shame in him was impossible. He would answer, but in such a way as to +show him totally unaware of your true meaning. He would afterwards talk +to you with all the smiling affability and freedom of an old friend. +Every one despised him for his idleness and folly, no less conspicuous +in his words than his actions; but no one feared him, and few were angry +with him, till after the detection of his commerce with _Betty_, and his +inhuman treatment of his father." + +"Have you good reasons for supposing him to have been illicitly +connected with that girl?" + +"Yes. Such as cannot be discredited. It would not be proper for me to +state these proofs. Nay, he never denied it. When reminded, on one +occasion, of the inference which every impartial person would draw from +appearances, he acknowledged, with his usual placid effrontery, that the +inference was unavoidable. He even mentioned other concurring and +contemporary incidents, which had eluded the observation of his +censurer, and which added still more force to the conclusion. He was +studious to palliate the vices of this woman, as long as he was her only +paramour; but, after her marriage with his father, the tone was changed. +He confessed that she was tidy, notable, industrious; but, then, she +was a prostitute. When charged with being instrumental in making her +such, and when his companions dwelt upon the depravity of reviling her +for vices which she owed to him, 'True,' he would say, 'there is +depravity and folly in the conduct you describe. Make me out, if you +please, to be a villain. What then? I was talking, not of myself, but of +Betty. Still this woman is a prostitute. If it were I that made her +such, with more confidence may I make the charge. But think not that I +blame Betty. Place me in her situation, and I should have acted just so. +I should have formed just such notions of my interest, and pursued it by +the same means. Still, say I, I would fain have a different woman for my +father's wife, and the mistress of his family.'" + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + + +This conversation was interrupted by a messenger from my wife, who +desired my return immediately. I had some hopes of meeting with Mervyn, +some days having now elapsed since his parting from us, and not being +conscious of any extraordinary motives for delay. It was Wortley, +however, and not Mervyn, to whom I was called. + +My friend came to share with me his suspicions and inquietudes +respecting Welbeck and Mervyn. An accident had newly happened which had +awakened these suspicions afresh. He desired a patient audience while he +explained them to me. These were his words:-- + +"To-day a person presented me a letter from a mercantile friend at +Baltimore. I easily discerned the bearer to be a sea-captain. He was a +man of sensible and pleasing aspect, and was recommended to my +friendship and counsel in the letter which he brought. The letter +stated, that a man, by name Amos Watson, by profession a mariner, and a +resident at Baltimore, had disappeared in the summer of last year, in a +mysterious and incomprehensible manner. He was known to have arrived in +this city from Jamaica, and to have intended an immediate journey to his +family, who lived at Baltimore; but he never arrived there, and no trace +of his existence has since been discovered. The bearer had come to +investigate, if possible, the secret of his fate, and I was earnestly +entreated to afford him all the assistance and advice in my power, in +the prosecution of his search. I expressed my willingness to serve the +stranger, whose name was Williams; and, after offering him entertainment +at my house, which was thankfully accepted, he proceeded to unfold to +me the particulars of this affair. His story was this. + +"'On the 20th of last June, I arrived,' said he, 'from the West Indies, +in company with Captain Watson. I commanded the ship in which he came as +a passenger, his own ship being taken and confiscated by the English. We +had long lived in habits of strict friendship, and I loved him for his +own sake, as well as because he had married my sister. We landed in the +morning, and went to dine with Mr. Keysler, since dead, but who then +lived in Water Street. He was extremely anxious to visit his family, +and, having a few commissions to perform in the city, which would not +demand more than a couple of hours, he determined to set out next +morning in the stage. Meanwhile, I had engagements which required me to +repair with the utmost expedition to New York. I was scarcely less +anxious than my brother to reach Baltimore, where my friends also +reside; but there was an absolute necessity of going eastward. I +expected, however, to return hither in three days, and then to follow +Watson home. Shortly after dinner we parted; he to execute his +commissions, and I to embark in the mail-stage. + +"'In the time prefixed I returned. I arrived early in the morning, and +prepared to depart again at noon. Meanwhile, I called at Keysler's. This +is an old acquaintance of Watson's and mine; and, in the course of talk, +he expressed some surprise that Watson had so precipitately deserted his +house. I stated the necessity there was for Watson's immediate departure +_southward_, and added, that no doubt my brother had explained this +necessity. + +"'Why, (said Keysler,) it is true, Captain Watson mentioned his +intention of leaving town early next day; but then he gave me reason to +expect that he would sup and lodge with me that night, whereas he has +not made his appearance since. Besides, his trunk was brought to my +house. This, no doubt, he intended to carry home with him, but here it +remains still. It is not likely that in the hurry of departure his +baggage was forgotten. Hence, I inferred that he was still in town, and +have been puzzling myself these three days with conjectures as to what +is become of him. What surprises me more is, that, on inquiring among +the few friends which he has in this city, I find them as ignorant of +his motions as myself. I have not, indeed, been wholly without +apprehensions that some accident or other has befallen him.' + +"'I was not a little alarmed by this intimation. I went myself, +agreeably to Keysler's directions, to Watson's friends, and made anxious +inquiries, but none of them had seen my brother since his arrival. I +endeavoured to recollect the commissions which he designed to execute, +and, if possible, to trace him to the spot where he last appeared. He +had several packets to deliver, one of which was addressed to Walter +Thetford. Him, after some inquiry, I found out, but unluckily he chanced +to be in the country. I found, by questioning a clerk, who transacted +his business in his absence, that a person, who answered the minute +description which I gave of Watson, had been there on the day on which I +parted with him, and had left papers relative to the capture of one of +Thetford's vessels by the English. This was the sum of the information +he was able to afford me. + +"'I then applied to three merchants for whom my brother had letters. +They all acknowledged the receipt of these letters, but they were +delivered through the medium of the post-office. + +"'I was extremely anxious to reach home. Urgent engagements compelled me +to go on without delay. I had already exhausted all the means of inquiry +within my reach, and was obliged to acquiesce in the belief that Watson +had proceeded homeward at the time appointed, and left, by forgetfulness +or accident, his trunk behind him. On examining the books kept at the +stage-offices, his name nowhere appeared, and no conveyance by water had +occurred during the last week. Still, the only conjecture I could form +was that he had gone homeward. + +"'Arriving at Baltimore, I found that Watson had not yet made his +appearance. His wife produced a letter, which, by the postmark, appeared +to have been put into the office at Philadelphia, on the morning after +our arrival, and on which he had designed to commence his journey. This +letter had been written by my brother, in my presence, but I had +dissuaded him from sending it, since the same coach that should bear the +letter was likewise to carry himself. I had seen him put it unwafered in +his pocket-book, but this letter, unaltered in any part, and containing +money which he had at first intended to enclose in it, was now conveyed +to his wife's hand. In this letter he mentioned his design of setting +out for Baltimore on the _twenty-first_, yet on that day the letter +itself had been put into the office. + +"'We hoped that a short time would clear up this mystery, and bring the +fugitive home; but, from that day till the present, no atom of +intelligence has been received concerning him. The yellow fever, which +quickly followed, in this city, and my own engagements, have hindered +me, till now, from coming hither and resuming the search. + +"'My brother was one of the most excellent of men. His wife loved him to +distraction, and, together with his children, depended for subsistence +upon his efforts. You will not, therefore, be surprised that his +disappearance excited, in us, the deepest consternation and distress; +but I have other and peculiar reasons for wishing to know his fate. I +gave him several bills of exchange on merchants of Baltimore, which I +had received in payment of my cargo, in order that they might, as soon +as possible, be presented and accepted. These have disappeared with the +bearer. There is likewise another circumstance that makes his existence +of no small value. + +"'There is an English family, who formerly resided in Jamaica, and +possessed an estate of great value, but who, for some years, have lived +in the neighbourhood of Baltimore. The head of this family died a year +ago, and left a widow and three daughters. The lady thought it eligible +to sell her husband's property in Jamaica, the island becoming hourly +more exposed to the chances of war and revolution, and transfer it to +the United States, where she purposes henceforth to reside. Watson had +been her husband's friend, and, his probity and disinterestedness being +well known, she intrusted him with legal powers to sell this estate. +This commission was punctually performed, and the purchase-money was +received. In order to confer on it the utmost possible security, he +rolled up four bills of exchange, drawn upon opulent, merchants of +London, in a thin sheet of lead, and, depositing this roll in a leathern +girdle, fastened it round his waist, and under his clothes; a second set +he gave to me, and a third he despatched to Mr. Keysler, by a vessel +which sailed a few days before him. On our arrival in this city, we +found that Keysler had received those transmitted to him, and which he +had been charged to keep till our arrival. They were now produced, and, +together with those which I had carried, were delivered to Watson. By +him they were joined to those in the girdle, which he still wore, +conceiving this method of conveyance to be safer than any other, and, at +the same time, imagining it needless, in so short a journey as remained +to be performed, to resort to other expedients. + +"'The sum which he thus bore about him was no less than ten thousand +pounds sterling. It constituted the whole patrimony of a worthy and +excellent family, and the loss of it reduces them to beggary. It is gone +with Watson, and whither Watson has gone it is impossible even to guess. + +"'You may now easily conceive, sir, the dreadful disasters which may be +connected with this man's fate, and with what immeasurable anxiety his +family and friends have regarded his disappearance. That he is alive can +scarcely be believed; for in what situation could he be placed in which +he would not be able and willing to communicate some tidings of his fate +to his family? + +"'Our grief has been unspeakably aggravated by the suspicions which Mrs. +Maurice and her friends have allowed themselves to admit. They do not +scruple to insinuate that Watson, tempted by so great a prize, has +secretly embarked for England, in order to obtain payment for these +bills and retain the money for his own use. + +"'No man was more impatient of poverty than Watson, but no man's honesty +was more inflexible. He murmured at the destiny that compelled him to +sacrifice his ease, and risk his life upon the ocean in order to +procure the means of subsistence; and all the property which he had +spent the best part of his life in collecting had just been ravished +away from him by the English; but, if he had yielded to this temptation +at any time, it would have been on receiving these bills at Jamaica. +Instead of coming hither, it would have been infinitely more easy and +convenient to have embarked directly for London; but none who thoroughly +knew him can, for a moment, harbour a suspicion of his truth. + +"'If he be dead, and if the bills are not to be recovered, yet to +ascertain this will, at least, serve to vindicate his character. As long +as his fate is unknown, his fame will be loaded with the most flagrant +imputations, and, if these bills be ever paid in London, these +imputations will appear to be justified. If he has been robbed, the +robber will make haste to secure the payment, and the Maurices may not +unreasonably conclude that the robber was Watson himself.' Many other +particulars were added by the stranger, to show the extent of the evils +flowing from the death of his brother, and the loss of the papers which +he carried with him. + +"I was greatly at a loss," continued Wortley, "what directions or advice +to afford this man. Keysler, as you know, died early of the pestilence; +but Keysler was the only resident in this city with whom Williams had +any acquaintance. On mentioning the propriety of preventing the sale of +these bills in America, by some public notice, he told me that this +caution had been early taken; and I now remembered seeing the +advertisement, in which the bills had been represented as having been +lost or stolen in this city, and a reward of a thousand dollars was +offered to any one who should restore them. This caution had been +published in September, in all the trading-towns from Portsmouth to +Savannah, but had produced no satisfaction. + +"I accompanied Williams to the mayor's office, in hopes of finding in +the records of his proceedings, during the last six months, some traces +of Watson; but neither these records nor the memory of the magistrate +afforded us any satisfaction. Watson's friends had drawn up, likewise, +a description of the person and dress of the fugitive, an account of the +incidents attending his disappearance, and of the papers which he had in +his possession, with the manner in which these papers had been secured. +These had been already published in the Southern newspapers, and have +been just reprinted in our own. As the former notice had availed +nothing, this second expedient was thought necessary to be employed. + +"After some reflection, it occurred to me that it might be proper to +renew the attempt which Williams had made to trace the footsteps of his +friend to the moment of his final disappearance. He had pursued Watson +to Thetford's; but Thetford himself had not been seen, and he had been +contented with the vague information of his clerk. Thetford and his +family, including his clerk, had perished, and it seemed as if this +source of information was dried up. It was possible, however, that old +Thetford might have some knowledge of his nephew's transactions, by +which some light might chance to be thrown upon this obscurity. I +therefore called on him, but found him utterly unable to afford me the +light that I wished. My mention of the packet which Watson had brought +to Thetford, containing documents respecting the capture of a certain +ship, reminded him of the injuries which he had received from Welbeck, +and excited him to renew his menaces and imputations on that wretch. +Having somewhat exhausted this rhetoric, he proceeded to tell me what +connection there was between the remembrance of his injuries and the +capture of this vessel. + +"This vessel and its cargo were, in fact, the property of Welbeck. They +had been sent to a good market, and had been secured by an adequate +insurance. The value of this ship and cargo, and the validity of the +policy, he had taken care to ascertain by means of his two nephews, one +of whom had gone out supercargo. This had formed his inducement to lend +his three notes to Welbeck, in exchange for three other notes, the whole +amount of which included the _equitable interest_ of _five per cent. per +month_ on his own loan. For the payment of these notes he by no means +relied, as the world foolishly imagined, on the seeming opulence and +secret funds of Welbeck. These were illusions too gross to have any +influence on him. He was too old a bird to be decoyed into the net by +_such_ chaff. No; his nephew, the supercargo, would of course receive +the produce of the voyage, and so much of this produce as would pay his +debt he had procured the owner's authority to intercept its passage from +the pocket of his nephew to that of Welbeck. In case of loss, he had +obtained a similar security upon the policy. Jamieson's proceedings had +been the same with his own, and no affair in which he had ever engaged +had appeared to be more free from hazard than this. Their calculations, +however, though plausible, were defeated. The ship was taken and +condemned, for a cause which rendered the insurance ineffectual. + +"I bestowed no time in reflecting on this tissue of extortions and +frauds, and on that course of events which so often disconcerts the +stratagems of cunning. The names of Welbeck and Watson were thus +associated together, and filled my thoughts with restlessness and +suspicion. Welbeck was capable of any weakness. It was possible an +interview had happened between these men, and that the fugitive had been +someway instrumental in Watson's fate. These thoughts were mentioned to +Williams, whom the name of Welbeck threw into the utmost perturbation. +On finding that one of this name had dwelt in this city, and that he had +proved a villain, he instantly admitted the most dreary forebodings. + +"'I have heard,' said Williams, 'the history of this Welbeck a score of +times from my brother. There formerly subsisted a very intimate +connection between them. My brother had conferred, upon one whom he +thought honest, innumerable benefits; but all his benefits had been +repaid by the blackest treachery. Welbeck's character and guilt had +often been made the subject of talk between us, but, on these occasions, +my brother's placid and patient temper forsook him. His grief for the +calamities which had sprung from this man, and his desire of revenge, +burst all bounds, and transported him to a pitch of temporary frenzy. I +often inquired in what manner he intended to act if a meeting should +take place between them. He answered, that doubtless he should act like +a maniac, in defiance of his sober principles, and of the duty which he +owed his family. + +"'What! (said I,) would you stab or pistol him? + +"'No. I was not born for an assassin. I would upbraid him in such terms +as the furious moment might suggest, and then challenge him to a +meeting, from which either he or I should not part with life. I would +allow time for him to make his peace with Heaven, and for me to blast +his reputation upon earth, and to make such provision for my possible +death as duty and discretion would prescribe. + +"'Now, nothing is more probable than that Welbeck and my brother have +met. Thetford would of course mention his name and interest in the +captured ship, and hence the residence of this detested being in this +city would be made known. Their meeting could not take place without +some dreadful consequence. I am fearful that to that meeting we must +impute the disappearance of my brother.' + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII. + + +"Here was new light thrown upon the character of Welbeck, and new food +administered to my suspicions. No conclusion could be more plausible +than that which Williams had drawn; but how should it be rendered +certain? Walter Thetford, or some of his family, had possibly been +witnesses of something, which, added to our previous knowledge, might +strengthen or prolong that clue, one end of which seemed now to be put +into our hands; but Thetford's father-in-law was the only one of his +family, who, by seasonable flight from the city, had escaped the +pestilence. To him, who still resided in the country, I repaired with +all speed, accompanied by Williams. + +"The old man, being reminded, by a variety of circumstances, of the +incidents of that eventful period, was, at length, enabled to relate +that he had been present at the meeting which took place between Watson +and his son Walter, when certain packets were delivered by the former, +relative, as he quickly understood, to the condemnation of a ship in +which Thomas Thetford had gone supercargo. He had noticed some emotion +of the stranger, occasioned by his son's mentioning the concern which +Welbeck had in the vessel. He likewise remembered the stranger's +declaring his intention of visiting Welbeck, and requesting Walter to +afford him directions to his house. + +"'Next morning at the breakfast-table,' continued the old man, 'I +adverted to yesterday's incidents, and asked my son how Welbeck had +borne the news of the loss of his ship. "He bore it," said Walter, "as a +man of his wealth ought to bear so trivial a loss. But there was +something very strange in his behaviour," says my son, "when I mentioned +the name of the captain who brought the papers; and, when I mentioned +the captain's design of paying him a visit, he stared upon me, for a +moment, as if he were frighted out of his wits, and then, snatching up +his hat, ran furiously out of the house." This was all my son said upon +that occasion; but, as I have since heard, it was on that very night +that Welbeck absconded from his creditors.' + +"I have this moment returned from this interview with old Thetford. I +come to you, because I thought it possible that Mervyn, agreeably to +your expectations, had returned, and I wanted to see the lad once more. +My suspicions with regard to him have been confirmed, and a warrant was +this day issued for apprehending him as Welbeck's accomplice." + +I was startled by this news. "My friend," said I, "be cautious how you +act, I beseech you. You know not in what evils you may involve the +innocent. Mervyn I know to be blameless; but Welbeck is indeed a +villain. The latter I shall not be sorry to see brought to justice; but +the former, instead of meriting punishment, is entitled to rewards." + +"So you believe, on the mere assertion of the boy, perhaps, his +plausible lies might produce the same effect upon me; but I must stay +till he thinks proper to exert his skill. The suspicions to which he is +exposed will not easily be obviated; but, if he has any thing to say in +his defence, his judicial examination will afford him the suitable +opportunity. Why are you so much afraid to subject his innocence to this +test? It was not till you heard his tale that your own suspicions were +removed. Allow me the same privilege of unbelief. + +"But you do me wrong, in deeming me the cause of his apprehension. It is +Jamieson and Thetford's work, and they have not proceeded on shadowy +surmises and the impulses of mere revenge. Facts have come to light of +which you are wholly unaware, and which, when known to you, will conquer +even your incredulity as to the guilt of Mervyn." + +"Facts? Let me know them, I beseech you. If Mervyn has deceived me, +there is an end to my confidence in human nature. All limits to +dissimulation, and all distinctness between vice and virtue, will be +effaced. No man's word, nor force of collateral evidence, shall weigh +with me a hair." + +"It was time," replied my friend, "that your confidence in smooth +features and fluent accents should have ended long ago. Till I gained +from my present profession some knowledge of the world, a knowledge +which was not gained in a moment, and has not cost a trifle, I was +equally wise in my own conceit; and, in order to decide upon the truth +of any one's pretensions, needed only a clear view of his face and a +distinct hearing of his words. My folly, in that respect, was only to be +cured, however, by my own experience, and I suppose your credulity will +yield to no other remedy. These are the facts:-- + +"Mrs. Wentworth, the proprietor of the house in which Welbeck lived, has +furnished some intelligence respecting Mervyn, whose truth cannot be +doubted, and which furnishes the strongest evidence of a conspiracy +between this lad and his employer. It seems that, some years since, a +nephew of this lady left his father's family clandestinely, and has not +been heard of since. This nephew was intended to inherit her fortunes, +and her anxieties and inquiries respecting him have been endless and +incessant. These, however, have been fruitless. Welbeck, knowing these +circumstances, and being desirous of substituting a girl whom he had +moulded for his purpose, in place of the lost youth, in the affections +of the lady while living, and in her testament when dead, endeavoured to +persuade her that the youth had died in some foreign country. For this +end, Mervyn was to personate a kinsman of Welbeck who had just arrived +from Europe, and who had been a witness of her nephew's death. A story +was, no doubt, to be contrived, where truth should be copied with the +most exquisite dexterity; and, the lady being prevailed upon to believe +the story, the way was cleared for accomplishing the remainder of the +plot. + +"In due time, and after the lady's mind had been artfully prepared by +Welbeck, the pupil made his appearance; and, in a conversation full of +studied ambiguities, assured the lady that her nephew was dead. For the +present he declined relating the particulars of his death, and displayed +a constancy and intrepidity in resisting her entreaties that would have +been admirable in a better cause. Before she had time to fathom this +painful mystery, Welbeck's frauds were in danger of detection, and he +and his pupil suddenly disappeared. + +"While the plot was going forward, there occurred an incident which the +plotters had not foreseen or precluded, and which possibly might have +created some confusion or impediment in their designs. A bundle was +found one night in the street, consisting of some coarse clothes, and +containing, in the midst of it, the miniature portrait of Mrs. +Wentworth's nephew. It fell into the hands of one of that lady's +friends, who immediately despatched the bundle to her. Mervyn, in his +interview with this lady, spied the portrait on the mantel-piece. Led by +some freak of fancy, or some web of artifice, he introduced the talk +respecting her nephew, by boldly claiming it as his; but, when the mode +in which it had been found was mentioned, he was disconcerted and +confounded, and precipitately withdrew. + +"This conduct, and the subsequent flight of the lad, afforded ground +enough to question the truth of his intelligence respecting her nephew; +but it has since been confuted, in a letter just received from her +brother in England. In this letter, she is informed that her nephew had +been seen by one who knew him well, in Charleston; that some intercourse +took place between the youth and the bearer of the news, in the course +of which the latter had persuaded the nephew to return to his family, +and that the youth had given some tokens of compliance. The +letter-writer, who was father to the fugitive, had written to certain +friends at Charleston, entreating them to use their influence with the +runaway to the same end, and, at any rate, to cherish and protect him. +Thus, I hope you will admit that the duplicity of Mervyn is +demonstrated." + +"The facts which you have mentioned," said I, after some pause, "partly +correspond with Mervyn's story; but the last particular is +irreconcilably repugnant to it. Now, for the first time, I begin to feel +that my confidence is shaken. I feel my mind bewildered and distracted +by the multitude of new discoveries which have just taken place. I want +time to revolve them slowly, to weigh them accurately, and to estimate +their consequences fully. I am afraid to speak; fearing that, in the +present trouble of my thoughts, I may say something which I may +afterwards regret, I want a counsellor; but you, Wortley, are unfit for +the office. Your judgment is unfurnished with the same materials; your +sufferings have soured your humanity and biassed your candour. The only +one qualified to divide with me these cares, and aid in selecting the +best mode of action, is my wife. She is mistress of Mervyn's history; an +observer of his conduct during his abode with us; and is hindered, by +her education and temper, from deviating into rigour and malevolence. +Will you pardon me, therefore, if I defer commenting on your narrative +till I have had an opportunity of reviewing it and comparing it with my +knowledge of the lad, collected from himself and from my own +observation?" + +Wortley could not but admit the justice of my request, and, after some +desultory conversation, we parted. I hastened to communicate to my wife +the various intelligence which I had lately received. Mrs. Althorpe's +portrait of the Mervyns contained lineaments which the summary detail of +Arthur did not enable us fully to comprehend. The treatment which the +youth is said to have given to his father; the illicit commerce that +subsisted between him and his father's wife; the pillage of money and +his father's horse, but ill accorded with the tale which we had heard, +and disquieted our minds with doubts, though far from dictating our +belief. + +What, however, more deeply absorbed our attention, was the testimony of +Williams and of Mrs. Wentworth. That which was mysterious and +inscrutable to Wortley and the friends of Watson was luminous to us. The +coincidence between the vague hints laboriously collected by these +inquirers, and the narrative of Mervyn, afforded the most cogent +attestation of the truth of that narrative. + +Watson had vanished from all eyes, but the spot where rested his remains +was known to us. The girdle spoken of by Williams would not be suspected +to exist by his murderer. It was unmolested, and was doubtless buried +with him. That which was so earnestly sought, and which constituted the +subsistence of the Maurices, would probably be found adhering to his +body. What conduct was incumbent upon me who possessed this knowledge? + +It was just to restore these bills to their true owner; but how could +this be done without hazardous processes and tedious disclosures? To +whom ought these disclosures to be made? By what authority or agency +could these half-decayed limbs be dug up, and the lost treasure be taken +from amidst the horrible corruption in which it was immersed? + +This ought not to be the act of a single individual. This act would +entangle him in a maze of perils and suspicions, of concealments and +evasions, from which he could not hope to escape with his reputation +inviolate. The proper method was through the agency of the law. It is to +this that Mervyn must submit his conduct. The story which he told to me +he must tell to the world. Suspicions have fixed themselves upon him, +which allow him not the privilege of silence and obscurity. While he +continued unknown and unthought of, the publication of his story would +only give unnecessary birth to dangers; but now dangers are incurred +which it may probably contribute to lessen, if not to remove. + +Meanwhile the return of Mervyn to the city was anxiously expected. Day +after day passed, and no tidings were received. I had business of an +urgent nature which required my presence in Jersey, but which, in the +daily expectation of the return of my young friend, I postponed a week +longer than rigid discretion allowed. At length I was obliged to comply +with the exigence, and left the city, but made such arrangements that I +should be apprized by my wife of Mervyn's return with all practicable +expedition. + +These arrangements were superfluous, for my business was despatched, and +my absence at an end, before the youth had given us any tokens of his +approach. I now remembered the warnings of Wortley, and his assertions +that Mervyn had withdrawn himself forever from our view. The event had +hitherto unwelcomely coincided with these predictions, and a thousand +doubts and misgivings were awakened. + +One evening, while preparing to shake off gloomy thoughts by a visit to +a friend, some one knocked at my door, and left a billet containing +these words:-- + +"_Dr. Stevens is requested to come immediately to the Debtors' +Apartments in Prune Street._" + +This billet was without signature. The handwriting was unknown, and the +precipitate departure of the bearer left me wholly at a loss with +respect to the person of the writer, or the end for which my presence +was required. This uncertainty only hastened my compliance with the +summons. + +The evening was approaching,--a time when the prison-doors are +accustomed to be shut and strangers to be excluded. This furnished an +additional reason for despatch. As I walked swiftly along, I revolved +the possible motives that might have prompted this message. A conjecture +was soon formed, which led to apprehension and inquietude. + +One of my friends, by name Carlton, was embarrassed with debts which he +was unable to discharge. He had lately been menaced with arrest by a +creditor not accustomed to remit any of his claims. I dreaded that this +catastrophe had now happened, and called to mind the anguish with which +this untoward incident would overwhelm his family. I knew his incapacity +to take away the claim of his creditor by payment, or to soothe him into +clemency by supplication. + +So prone is the human mind to create for itself distress, that I was not +aware of the uncertainty of this evil till I arrived at the prison. I +checked myself at the moment when I opened my lips to utter the name of +my friend, and was admitted without particular inquiries. I supposed +that he by whom I had been summoned hither would meet me in the common +room. + +The apartment was filled with pale faces and withered forms. The marks +of negligence and poverty were visible in all; but few betrayed, in +their features or gestures, any symptoms of concern on account of their +condition. Ferocious gayety, or stupid indifference, seemed to sit upon +every brow. The vapour from a heated stove, mingled with the fumes of +beer and tallow that were spilled upon it, and with the tainted breath +of so promiscuous a crowd, loaded the stagnant atmosphere. At my first +transition from the cold and pure air without, to this noxious element, +I found it difficult to breathe. A moment, however, reconciled me to my +situation, and I looked anxiously round to discover some face which I +knew. + +Almost every mouth was furnished with a cigar, and every hand with a +glass of porter. Conversation, carried on with much emphasis of tone and +gesture, was not wanting. Sundry groups, in different corners, were +beguiling the tedious hours at whist. Others, unemployed, were strolling +to and fro, and testified their vacancy of thought and care by humming +or whistling a tune. + +I fostered the hope that my prognostics had deceived me. This hope was +strengthened by reflecting that the billet received was written in a +different hand from that of my friend. Meanwhile I continued my search. +Seated on a bench, silent and aloof from the crowd, his eyes fixed upon +the floor, and his face half concealed by his hand, a form was at length +discovered which verified all my conjectures and fears. Carlton was he. + +My heart drooped and my tongue faltered at this sight. I surveyed him +for some minutes in silence. At length, approaching the bench on which +he sat, I touched his hand and awakened him from his reverie. He looked +up. A momentary gleam of joy and surprise was succeeded by a gloom +deeper than before. + +It was plain that my friend needed consolation. He was governed by an +exquisite sensibility to disgrace. He was impatient of constraint. He +shrunk, with fastidious abhorrence, from the contact of the vulgar and +the profligate. His constitution was delicate and feeble. Impure airs, +restraint from exercise, unusual aliment, unwholesome or incommodious +accommodations, and perturbed thoughts, were, at any time, sufficient to +generate disease and to deprive him of life. + +To these evils he was now subjected. He had no money wherewith to +purchase food. He had been dragged hither in the morning. He had not +tasted a morsel since his entrance. He had not provided a bed on which +to lie; or inquired in what room, or with what companions, the night was +to be spent. + +Fortitude was not among my friend's qualities. He was more prone to +shrink from danger than encounter it, and to yield to the flood rather +than sustain it; but it is just to observe that his anguish, on the +present occasion, arose not wholly from selfish considerations. His +parents were dead, and two sisters were dependent on him for support. +One of these was nearly of his own age. The other was scarcely emerged +from childhood. There was an intellectual as well as a personal +resemblance between my friend and his sisters. They possessed his +physical infirmities, his vehement passions, and refinements of taste; +and the misery of his condition was tenfold increased, by reflecting on +the feelings which would be awakened in them by the knowledge of his +state, and the hardships to which the loss of his succour would expose +them. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + + +It was not in my power to release my friend by the payment of his debt; +but, by contracting with the keeper of the prison for his board, I could +save him from famine; and, by suitable exertions, could procure him +lodging as convenient as the time would admit. I could promise to +console and protect his sisters, and, by cheerful tones and frequent +visits, dispel some part of the evil which encompassed him. + +After the first surprise had subsided, he inquired by what accident this +meeting had been produced. Conscious of my incapacity to do him any +essential service, and unwilling to make me a partaker in his miseries, +he had forborne to inform me of his condition. + +This assurance was listened to with some wonder. I showed him the +billet. It had not been written by him. He was a stranger to the +penmanship. None but the attorney and officer were apprized of his fate. +It was obvious to conclude, that this was the interposition of some +friend, who, knowing my affection for Carlton, had taken this mysterious +method of calling me to his succour. + +Conjectures as to the author and motives of this inter position were +suspended by more urgent considerations. I requested an interview with +the keeper, and inquired how Carlton could be best accommodated. + +He said that all his rooms were full but one, which, in consequence of +the dismission of three persons in the morning, had at present but one +tenant. This person had lately arrived, was sick, and had with him, at +this time, one of his friends. Carlton might divide the chamber with +this person. No doubt his consent would be readily given; though this +arrangement, being the best, must take place whether he consented or +not. + +This consent I resolved immediately to seek, and, for that purpose, +desired to be led to the chamber. The door of the apartment was shut. I +knocked for admission. It was instantly opened, and I entered. The first +person who met my view was--Arthur Mervyn. + +I started with astonishment. Mervyn's countenance betrayed nothing but +satisfaction at the interview. The traces of fatigue and anxiety gave +place to tenderness and joy. It readily occurred to me that Mervyn was +the writer of the note which I had lately received. To meet him within +these walls, and at this time, was the most remote and undesirable of +all contingencies. The same hour had thus made me acquainted with the +kindred and unwelcome fate of two beings whom I most loved. + +I had scarcely time to return his embrace, when, taking my hand, he led +me to a bed that stood in one corner. There was stretched upon it one +whom a second glance enabled me to call by his name, though I had never +before seen him. The vivid portrait which Mervyn had drawn was +conspicuous in the sunken and haggard visage before me. This face had, +indeed, proportions and lines which could never be forgotten or +mistaken. Welbeck, when once seen or described, was easily distinguished +from the rest of mankind. He had stronger motives than other men for +abstaining from guilt, the difficulty of concealment or disguise being +tenfold greater in him than in others, by reason of the indelible and +eye-attracting marks which nature had set upon him. + +He was pallid and emaciated. He did not open his eyes on my entrance. He +seemed to be asleep; but, before I had time to exchange glances with +Mervyn, or to inquire into the nature of the scene, he awoke. On seeing +me he started, and cast a look of upbraiding on my companion. The latter +comprehended his emotion, and endeavoured to appease him. + +"This person," said he, "is my friend. He is likewise a physician; and, +perceiving your state to require medical assistance, I ventured to send +for him." + +Welbeck replied, in a contemptuous and indignant tone, "Thou mistakest +my condition, boy. My disease lies deeper than his scrutiny will ever +reach. I had hoped thou wert gone. Thy importunities are well meant, but +they aggravate my miseries." + +He now rose from the bed, and continued, in a firm and resolute tone, +"You are intruders into this apartment. It is mine, and I desire to be +left alone." + +Mervyn returned, at first, no answer to this address. He was immersed in +perplexity. At length, raising his eyes from the floor, he said, "My +intentions are indeed honest, and I am grieved that I want the power of +persuasion. To-morrow, perhaps, I may reason more cogently with your +despair, or your present mood may be changed. To aid my own weakness I +will entreat the assistance of this friend." + +These words roused a new spirit in Welbeck. His confusion and anger +increased. His tongue faltered as he exclaimed, "Good God! what mean +you? Headlong and rash as you are, you will not share with this person +your knowledge of me?" Here he checked himself, conscious that the words +he had already uttered tended to the very end which he dreaded. This +consciousness, added to the terror of more ample disclosures, which the +simplicity and rectitude of Mervyn might prompt him to make, chained up +his tongue, and covered him with dismay. + +Mervyn was not long in answering:--"I comprehend your fears and your +wishes. I am bound to tell you the truth. To this person your story has +already been told. Whatever I have witnessed under your roof, whatever I +have heard from your lips, have been faithfully disclosed to him." + +The countenance of Welbeck now betrayed a mixture of incredulity and +horror. For a time his utterance was stifled by his complicated +feelings:-- + +"It cannot be. So enormous a deed is beyond thy power. Thy qualities are +marvellous. Every new act of thine outstrips the last, and belies the +newest calculations. But this--this perfidy exceeds--this outrage upon +promises, this violation of faith, this blindness to the future, is +incredible." There he stopped; while his looks seemed to call upon +Mervyn for a contradiction of his first assertion. + +"I know full well how inexpiably stupid or wicked my act will appear to +you, but I will not prevaricate or lie. I repeat, that every thing is +known to him. Your birth; your early fortunes; the incidents at +Charleston and Wilmington; your treatment of the brother and sister; +your interview with Watson, and the fatal issue of that interview--I +have told him all, just as it was told to me." + +Here the shock that was felt by Welbeck overpowered his caution and his +strength. He sunk upon the side of the bed. His air was still +incredulous, and he continued to gaze upon Mervyn. He spoke in a tone +less vehement:-- + +"And hast thou then betrayed me? Hast thou shut every avenue to my +return to honour? Am I known to be a seducer and assassin? To have +meditated all crimes, and to have perpetrated the worst? + +"Infamy and death are my portion. I know they are reserved for me; but I +did not think to receive them at thy hands, that under that innocent +guise there lurked a heart treacherous and cruel. But go; leave me to +myself. This stroke has exterminated my remnant of hope. Leave me to +prepare my neck for the halter, and my lips for this last and bitterest +cup." + +Mervyn struggled with his tears, and replied, "All this was foreseen, +and all this I was prepared to endure. My friend and I will withdraw, as +you wish; but to-morrow I return; not to vindicate my faith or my +humanity; not to make you recant your charges, or forgive the faults +which I seem to have committed, but to extricate you from your present +evil, or to arm you with fortitude." + +So saying, he led the way out of the room. I followed him in silence. +The strangeness and abruptness of this scene left me no power to assume +a part in it. I looked on with new and indescribable sensations. I +reached the street before my recollection was perfectly recovered. I +then reflected on the purpose that had led me to Welbeck's chamber. This +purpose was yet unaccomplished. I desired Mervyn to linger a moment +while I returned into the house. I once more inquired for the keeper, +and told him I should leave to him the province of acquainting Welbeck +with the necessity of sharing his apartment with a stranger. I speedily +rejoined Mervyn in the street. + +I lost no time in requiring an explanation of the scene that I had +witnessed. "How became you once more the companion of Welbeck? Why did +you not inform me by letter of your arrival at Malverton, and of what +occurred during your absence? What is the fate of Mr. Hadwin and of +Wallace?" + +"Alas!" said he, "I perceive that, though I have written, you have never +received my letters. The tale of what has occurred since we parted is +long and various. I am not only willing but eager to communicate the +story; but this is no suitable place. Have patience till we reach your +house. I have involved myself in perils and embarrassments from which I +depend upon your counsel and aid to release me." + +I had scarcely reached my own door, when I was overtaken by a servant, +whom I knew to belong to the family in which Carlton and his sisters +resided. Her message, therefore, was readily guessed. She came, as I +expected, to inquire for my friend, who had left his home in the morning +with a stranger, and had not yet returned. His absence had occasioned +some inquietude, and his sister had sent this message to me, to procure +what information respecting the cause of his detention I was able to +give. + +My perplexity hindered me, for some time, from answering. I was willing +to communicate the painful truth with my own mouth. I saw the necessity +of putting an end to her suspense, and of preventing the news from +reaching her with fallacious aggravations or at an unseasonable time. + +I told the messenger that I had just parted with Mr. Carlton, that he +was well, and that I would speedily come and acquaint his sister with +the cause of his absence. + +Though burning with curiosity respecting Mervyn and Welbeck, I readily +postponed its gratification till my visit to Miss Carlton was performed. +I had rarely seen this lady; my friendship for her brother, though +ardent, having been lately formed, and chiefly matured by interviews at +my house. I had designed to introduce her to my wife, but various +accidents had hindered the execution of my purpose. Now consolation and +counsel were more needed than ever, and delay or reluctance in bestowing +it would have been, in a high degree, unpardonable. + +I therefore parted with Mervyn, requesting him to await my return, and +promising to perform the engagement which compelled me to leave him, +with the utmost despatch. On entering Miss Carlton's apartment, I +assumed an air of as much tranquillity as possible. I found the lady +seated at a desk, with pen in hand and parchment before her. She greeted +me with affectionate dignity, and caught from my countenance that +cheerfulness of which on my entrance she was destitute. + +"You come," said she, "to inform me what has made my brother a truant +to-day. Till your message was received I was somewhat anxious. This day +he usually spends in rambling through the fields; but so bleak and +stormy an atmosphere, I suppose, would prevent his excursion. I pray, +sir, what is it detains him?" + +To conquer my embarrassment, and introduce the subject by indirect and +cautious means, I eluded her question, and, casting an eye at the +parchment,--"How now?" said I; "this is strange employment for a lady. I +knew that my friend pursued this trade, and lived by binding fast the +bargains which others made; but I knew not that the pen was ever usurped +by his sister." + +"The usurpation was prompted by necessity. My brother's impatient temper +and delicate frame unfitted him for the trade. He pursued it with no +less reluctance than diligence, devoting to the task three nights in the +week, and the whole of each day. It would long ago have killed him, had +I not bethought myself of sharing his tasks. The pen was irksome and +toilsome at first, but use has made it easy, and far more eligible than +the needle, which was formerly my only tool. + +"This arrangement affords my brother opportunities of exercise and +recreation, without diminishing our profits; and my time, though not +less constantly, is more agreeably, as well as more lucratively, +employed than formerly." + +"I admire your reasoning. By this means provision is made against +untoward accidents. If sickness should disable him, you are qualified to +pursue the same means of support." + +At these words the lady's countenance changed. She put her hand on my +arm, and said, in a fluttering and hurried accent, "Is my brother sick?" + +"No. He is in perfect health. My observation was a harmless one. I am +sorry to observe your readiness to draw alarming inferences. If I were +to say that your scheme is useful to supply deficiencies, not only when +your brother is disabled by sickness, but when thrown, by some inhuman +creditor, into jail, no doubt you would perversely and hastily infer +that he is now in prison." + +I had scarcely ended the sentence, when the piercing eyes of the lady +were anxiously fixed upon mine. After a moment's pause, she exclaimed, +"The inference, indeed, is too plain. I know his fate. It has long been +foreseen and expected, and I have summoned up my equanimity to meet it. +Would to Heaven he may find the calamity as light as I should find it! +but I fear his too irritable spirit." + +When her fears were confirmed, she started out into no vehemence of +exclamation. She quickly suppressed a few tears which would not be +withheld, and listened to my narrative of what had lately occurred, with +tokens of gratitude. + +Formal consolation was superfluous. Her mind was indeed more fertile +than my own in those topics which take away its keenest edge from +affliction. She observed that it was far from being the heaviest +calamity which might have happened. The creditor was perhaps vincible by +arguments and supplications. If these should succeed, the disaster would +not only be removed, but that security from future molestation be +gained, to which they had for a long time been strangers. + +Should he be obdurate, their state was far from being hopeless. +Carlton's situation allowed him to pursue his profession. His gains +would be equal, and his expenses would not be augmented. By their mutual +industry they might hope to amass sufficient to discharge the debt at no +very remote period. + +What she chiefly dreaded was the pernicious influence of dejection and +sedentary labour on her brother's health. Yet this was not to be +considered as inevitable. Fortitude might be inspired by exhortation and +example, and no condition precluded us from every species of bodily +exertion. The less inclined he should prove to cultivate the means of +deliverance and happiness within his reach, the more necessary it became +for her to stimulate and fortify his resolution. + +If I were captivated by the charms of this lady's person and carriage, +my reverence was excited by these proofs of wisdom and energy. I +zealously promised to concur with her in every scheme she should adopt +for her own or her brother's advantage; and, after spending some hours +with her, took my leave. + +I now regretted the ignorance in which I had hitherto remained +respecting this lady. That she was, in an eminent degree, feminine and +lovely, was easily discovered; but intellectual weakness had been rashly +inferred from external frailty. She was accustomed to shrink from +observation, and reserve was mistaken for timidity. I called on Carlton +only when numerous engagements would allow, and when, by some accident, +his customary visits had been intermitted. On those occasions, my stay +was short, and my attention chiefly confined to her brother. I now +resolved to atone for my ancient negligence, not only by my own +assiduities, but by those of my wife. + +On my return home, I found Mervyn and my wife in earnest discourse. I +anticipated the shock which the sensibility of the latter would receive +from the tidings which I had to communicate respecting Carlton. I was +unwilling, and yet perceived the necessity of disclosing the truth. I +desired to bring these women, as soon as possible, to the knowledge of +each other, but the necessary prelude to this was an acquaintance with +the disaster that had happened. + +Scarcely had I entered the room, when Mervyn turned to me, and said, +with an air of anxiety and impatience, "Pray, my friend, have you any +knowledge of Francis Carlton?" + +The mention of this name by Mervyn produced some surprise. I +acknowledged my acquaintance with him. + +"Do you know in what situation he now is?" + +In answer to this question, I stated by what singular means his +situation had been made known to me, and the purpose from the +accomplishment of which I had just returned. I inquired in my turn, +"Whence originated this question?" + +He had overheard the name of Carlton in the prison. Two persons were +communing in a corner, and accident enabled him to catch this name, +though uttered by them in a half whisper, and to discover that the +person talked about had lately been conveyed thither. + +This name was not now heard for the first time. It was connected with +remembrances that made him anxious for the fate of him to whom it +belonged. In discourse with my wife, this name chanced to be again +mentioned, and his curiosity was roused afresh. I was willing to +communicate all that I knew, but Mervyn's own destiny was too remarkable +not to absorb all my attention, and I refused to discuss any other theme +till that were fully explained. He postponed his own gratification to +mine, and consented to relate the incidents that had happened from the +moment of our separation till the present. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX. + + +At parting with you, my purpose was to reach the abode of the Hadwins as +speedily as possible. I travelled therefore with diligence. Setting out +so early, I expected, though on foot, to reach the end of my journey +before noon. The activity of muscles is no obstacle to thought. So far +from being inconsistent with intense musing, it is, in my own case, +propitious to that state of mind. + +Probably no one had stronger motives for ardent meditation than I. My +second journey to the city was prompted by reasons, and attended by +incidents, that seemed to have a present existence. To think upon them +was to view, more deliberately and thoroughly, objects and persons that +still hovered in my sight. Instead of their attributes being already +seen, and their consequences at an end, it seemed as if a series of +numerous years and unintermitted contemplation were requisite to +comprehend them fully, and bring into existence their most momentous +effects. + +If men be chiefly distinguished from each other by the modes in which +attention is employed, either on external and sensible objects, or +merely on abstract ideas and the creatures of reflection, I may justly +claim to be enrolled in the second class. My existence is a series of +thoughts rather than of motions. Ratiocination and deduction leave my +senses unemployed. The fulness of my fancy renders my eye vacant and +inactive. Sensations do not precede and suggest, but follow and are +secondary to, the acts of my mind. + +There was one motive, however, which made me less inattentive to the +scene that was continually shifting before and without me than I am +wont to be. The loveliest form which I had hitherto seen was that of +Clemenza Lodi. I recalled her condition as I had witnessed it, as +Welbeck had described, and as you had painted it. The past was without +remedy; but the future was, in some degree, within our power to create +and to fashion. Her state was probably dangerous. She might already be +forlorn, beset with temptation or with anguish; or danger might only be +approaching her, and the worst evils be impending ones. + +I was ignorant of her state. Could I not remove this ignorance? Would +not some benefit redound to her from beneficent and seasonable +interposition? + +You had mentioned that her abode had lately been with Mrs. Villars, and +that this lady still resided in the country. The residence had been +sufficiently described, and I perceived that I was now approaching it. +In a short time I spied its painted roof and five chimneys through an +avenue of _catalpas_. + +When opposite the gate which led into this avenue, I paused. It seemed +as if this moment were to decide upon the liberty and innocence of this +being. In a moment I might place myself before her, ascertain her true +condition, and point out to her the path of honour and safety. This +opportunity might be the last. Longer delay might render interposition +fruitless. + +But how was I to interpose? I was a stranger to her language, and she +was unacquainted with mine. To obtain access to her, it was necessary +only to demand it. But how should I explain my views and state my wishes +when an interview was gained? And what expedient was it in my power to +propose? + +"Now," said I, "I perceive the value of that wealth which I have been +accustomed to despise. The power of eating and drinking, the nature and +limits of existence and physical enjoyment, are not changed or enlarged +by the increase of wealth. Our corporeal and intellectual wants are +supplied at little expense; but our own wants are the wants of others, +and that which remains, after our own necessities are obviated, it is +always easy and just to employ in relieving the necessities of others. + +"There are no superfluities in my store. It is not in my power to supply +this unfortunate girl with decent raiment and honest bread. I have no +house to which to conduct her. I have no means of securing her from +famine and cold. + +"Yet, though indigent and feeble, I am not destitute of friends and of +home. Cannot she be admitted to the same asylum to which I am now +going?" This thought was sudden and new. The more it was revolved, the +more plausible it seemed. This was not merely the sole expedient, but +the best that could have been suggested. + +The Hadwins were friendly, hospitable, unsuspicious. Their board, though +simple and uncouth, was wholesome and plenteous. Their residence was +sequestered and obscure, and not obnoxious to impertinent inquiries and +malignant animadversion. Their frank and ingenuous temper would make +them easy of persuasion, and their sympathies were prompt and +overflowing. + +"I am nearly certain," continued I, "that they will instantly afford +protection to this desolate girl. Why shall I not anticipate their +consent, and present myself to their embraces and their welcomes in her +company?" + +Slight reflection showed me that this precipitation was improper. +Whether Wallace had ever arrived at Malverton, whether Mr. Hadwin had +escaped infection, whether his house were the abode of security and +quiet, or a scene of desolation, were questions yet to be determined. +The obvious and best proceeding was to hasten forward, to afford the +Hadwins, if in distress, the feeble consolations of my friendship; or, +if their state were happy, to procure their concurrence to my scheme +respecting Clemenza. + +Actuated by these considerations, I resumed my journey. Looking forward, +I perceived a chaise and horse standing by the left-hand fence, at the +distance of some hundred yards. This object was not uncommon or strange, +and, therefore, it was scarcely noticed. When I came near, however, +methought I recognised in this carriage the same in which my +importunities had procured a seat for the languishing Wallace, in the +manner which I have formerly related. + +It was a crazy vehicle and old-fashioned. When once seen it could +scarcely be mistaken or forgotten. The horse was held by his bridle to a +post, but the seat was empty. My solicitude with regard to Wallace's +destiny, of which he to whom the carriage belonged might possibly afford +me some knowledge, made me stop and reflect on what measures it was +proper to pursue. + +The rider could not be at a great distance from this spot. His absence +would probably be short. By lingering a few minutes an interview might +be gained, and the uncertainty and suspense of some hours be thereby +precluded. I therefore waited, and the same person whom I had formerly +encountered made his appearance, in a short time, from under a copse +that skirted the road. + +He recognised me with more difficulty than attended my recognition of +him. The circumstances, however, of our first meeting were easily +recalled to his remembrance. I eagerly inquired when and where he had +parted with the youth who had been, on that occasion, intrusted to his +care. + +He answered that, on leaving the city and inhaling the purer air of the +fields and woods, Wallace had been, in a wonderful degree, invigorated +and refreshed. An instantaneous and total change appeared to have been +wrought in him. He no longer languished with fatigue or fear, but became +full of gayety and talk. + +The suddenness of this transition; the levity with which he related and +commented on his recent dangers and evils, excited the astonishment of +his companion, to whom he not only communicated the history of his +disease, but imparted many anecdotes of a humorous kind. Some of these +my companion repeated. I heard them with regret and dissatisfaction. +They betokened a mind vitiated by intercourse with the thoughtless and +depraved of both sexes, and particularly with infamous and profligate +women. + +My companion proceeded to mention that Wallace's exhilaration lasted but +for a short time, and disappeared as suddenly as it had appeared. He +was seized with deadly sickness, and insisted upon leaving the carriage, +whose movements shocked his stomach and head to an insupportable degree. +His companion was not void of apprehensions on his own account, but was +unwilling to desert him, and endeavoured to encourage him. His efforts +were vain. Though the nearest house was at the distance of some hundred +yards, and though it was probable that the inhabitants of this house +would refuse to accommodate one in his condition, yet Wallace could not +be prevailed on to proceed; and, in spite of persuasion and +remonstrance, left the carriage and threw himself on the grassy bank +beside the road. + +This person was not unmindful of the hazard which he incurred by contact +with a sick man. He conceived himself to have performed all that was +consistent with duty to himself and to his family; and Wallace, +persisting in affirming that, by attempting to ride farther, he should +merely hasten his death, was at length left to his own guidance. + +These were unexpected and mournful tidings. I had fondly imagined that +his safety was put beyond the reach of untoward accidents. Now, however, +there was reason to suppose him to have perished by a lingering and +painful disease, rendered fatal by the selfishness of mankind, by the +want of seasonable remedies, and exposure to inclement airs. Some +uncertainty, however, rested on his fate. It was my duty to remove it, +and to carry to the Hadwins no mangled and defective tale. Where, I +asked, had Wallace and his companion parted? + +It was about three miles farther onward. The spot, and the house within +view from the spot, were accurately described. In this house it was +possible that Wallace had sought an asylum, and some intelligence +respecting him might be gained from its inhabitants. My informant was +journeying to the city, so that we were obliged to separate. + +In consequence of this man's description of Wallace's deportment, and +the proofs of a dissolute and thoughtless temper which he had given, I +began to regard his death as an event less deplorable. Such a one was +unworthy of a being so devoutly pure, so ardent in fidelity and +tenderness, as Susan Hadwin. If he loved, it was probable that, in +defiance of his vows, he would seek a different companion. If he adhered +to his first engagements, his motives would be sordid, and the +disclosure of his latent defects might produce more exquisite misery to +his wife than his premature death or treacherous desertion. + +The preservation of this man was my sole motive for entering the +infected city, and subjecting my own life to the hazards from which my +escape may almost be esteemed miraculous. Was not the end +disproportioned to the means? Was there arrogance in believing my life a +price too great to be given for his? + +I was not, indeed, sorry for the past. My purpose was just, and the +means which I selected were the best my limited knowledge supplied. My +happiness should be drawn from reflecting on the equity of my +intentions. That these intentions were frustrated by the ignorance of +others, or my own, was the consequence of human frailty. Honest +purposes, though they may not bestow happiness on others, will, at +least, secure it to him who fosters them. + +By these reflections my regrets were dissipated, and I prepared to +rejoice alike, whether Wallace should be found to have escaped or to +have perished. The house to which I had been directed was speedily +brought into view. I inquired for the master or mistress of the mansion, +and was conducted to a lady of a plain and housewifely appearance. + +My curiosity was fully gratified. Wallace, whom my description easily +identified, had made his appearance at her door on the evening of the +day on which he left the city. The dread of _the fever_ was descanted on +with copious and rude eloquence. I supposed her eloquence on this theme +to be designed to apologize to me for her refusing entrance to the sick +man. The peroration, however, was different. Wallace was admitted, and +suitable attention paid to his wants. + +Happily, the guest had nothing to struggle with but extreme weakness. +Repose, nourishing diet, and salubrious airs restored him in a short +time to health. He lingered under this roof for three weeks, and then, +without any professions of gratitude, or offers of pecuniary +remuneration, or information of the course which he determined to take, +he left them. + +These facts, added to that which I had previously known, threw no +advantageous light upon the character of Wallace. It was obvious to +conclude that he had gone to Malverton, and thither there was nothing to +hinder me from following him. + +Perhaps one of my grossest defects is a precipitate temper. I choose my +path suddenly, and pursue it with impetuous expedition. In the present +instance, my resolution was conceived with unhesitating zeal, and I +walked the faster that I might the sooner execute it. Miss Hadwin +deserved to be happy. Love was in her heart the all-absorbing sentiment. +A disappointment there was a supreme calamity. Depravity and folly must +assume the guise of virtue before it can claim her affection. This +disguise might be maintained for a time, but its detection must +inevitably come, and the sooner this detection takes place the more +beneficial it must prove. + +I resolved to unbosom myself, with equal and unbounded confidence, to +Wallace and his mistress. I would choose for this end, not the moment +when they were separate, but that in which they were together. My +knowledge, and the sources of my knowledge, relative to Wallace, should +be unfolded to the lady with simplicity and truth. The lover should be +present, to confute, to extenuate, or to verify the charges. + +During the rest of the day these images occupied the chief place in my +thoughts. The road was miry and dark, and my journey proved to be more +tedious and fatiguing than I expected. At length, just as the evening +closed, the well-known habitation appeared in view. Since my departure, +winter had visited the world, and the aspect of nature was desolate and +dreary. All around this house was vacant, negligent, forlorn. The +contrast between these appearances and those which I had noticed on my +first approach to it, when the ground and the trees were decked with +the luxuriance and vivacity of summer, was mournful, and seemed to +foretoken ill. My spirits drooped as I noticed the general inactivity +and silence. + +I entered, without warning, the door that led into the parlour. No face +was to be seen or voice heard. The chimney was ornamented, as in summer, +with evergreen shrubs. Though it was now the second month of frost and +snow, fire did not appear to have been lately kindled on this hearth. + +This was a circumstance from which nothing good could be deduced. Had +there been those to share its comforts who had shared them on former +years, this was the place and hour at which they commonly assembled. A +door on one side led, through a narrow entry, into the kitchen. I opened +this door, and passed towards the kitchen. + +No one was there but an old man, squatted in the chimney-corner. His +face, though wrinkled, denoted undecayed health and an unbending spirit. +A homespun coat, leathern breeches wrinkled with age, and blue yarn +hose, were well suited to his lean and shrivelled form. On his right +knee was a wooden bowl, which he had just replenished from a pipkin of +hasty pudding still smoking on the coals; and in his left hand a spoon, +which he had, at that moment, plunged into a bottle of molasses that +stood beside him. + +This action was suspended by my entrance. He looked up and exclaimed, +"Heyday! who's this that comes into other people's houses without so +much as saying 'by your leave'? What's thee business? Who's thee want?" + +I had never seen this personage before. I supposed it to be some new +domestic, and inquired for Mr. Hadwin. + +"Ah!" replied he, with a sigh, "William Hadwin. Is it him thee wants? +Poor man! He is gone to rest many days since." + +My heart sunk within me at these tidings. "Dead!" said I; "do you mean +that he is dead?"--This exclamation was uttered in a tone of some +vehemence. It attracted the attention of some one who was standing +without, who immediately entered the kitchen. It was Eliza Hadwin. The +moment she beheld me she shrieked aloud, and, rushing into my arms, +fainted away. + +The old man dropped his bowl; and, starting from his seat, stared +alternately at me and at the breathless girl. My emotion, made up of +joy, and sorrow, and surprise, rendered me for a moment powerless as +she. At length he said, "I understand this. I know who thee is, and will +tell her thee's come." So saying, he hastily left the room. + + + + +CHAPTER XXX. + + +In a short time this gentle girl recovered her senses. She did not +withdraw herself from my sustaining arm, but, leaning on my bosom, she +resigned herself to passionate weeping. I did not endeavour to check +this effusion, believing that its influence would be salutary. + +I had not forgotten the thrilling sensibility and artless graces of this +girl. I had not forgotten the scruples which had formerly made me check +a passion whose tendency was easily discovered. These new proofs of her +affection were, at once, mournful and delightful. The untimely fate of +her father and my friend pressed with new force upon my heart, and my +tears, in spite of my fortitude, mingled with hers. + +The attention of both was presently attracted by a faint scream, which +proceeded from above. Immediately tottering footsteps were heard in the +passage, and a figure rushed into the room, pale, emaciated, haggard, +and wild. She cast a piercing glance at me, uttered a feeble +exclamation, and sunk upon the floor without signs of life. + +It was not difficult to comprehend this scene. I now conjectured, what +subsequent inquiry confirmed, that the old man had mistaken me for +Wallace, and had carried to the elder sister the news of his return. +This fatal disappointment of hopes that had nearly been extinct, and +which were now so powerfully revived, could not be endured by a frame +verging to dissolution. + +This object recalled all the energies of Eliza, and engrossed all my +solicitude. I lifted the fallen girl in my arms; and, guided by her +sister, carried her to her chamber. I had now leisure to contemplate the +changes which a few months had made in this lovely frame. I turned away +from the spectacle with anguish, but my wandering eyes were recalled by +some potent fascination, and fixed in horror upon a form which evinced +the last stage of decay. Eliza knelt on one side, and, leaning her face +upon the bed, endeavoured in vain to smother her sobs. I sat on the +other motionless, and holding the passive and withered hand of the +sufferer. + +I watched with ineffable solicitude the return of life. It returned at +length, but merely to betray symptoms that it would speedily depart +forever. For a time my faculties were palsied, and I was made an +impotent spectator of the ruin that environed me. This pusillanimity +quickly gave way to resolutions and reflections better suited to the +exigencies of the time. + +The first impulse was to summon a physician; but it was evident that the +patient had been sinking by slow degrees to this state, and that the +last struggle had begun. Nothing remained but to watch her while +expiring, and perform for her, when dead, the rites of interment. The +survivor was capable of consolation and of succour. I went to her and +drew her gently into another apartment. The old man, tremulous and +wonder-struck, seemed anxious to perform some service. I directed him to +kindle a fire in Eliza's chamber. Meanwhile I persuaded my gentle friend +to remain in this chamber, and resign to me the performance of every +office which her sister's condition required. I sat beside the bed of +the dying till the mortal struggle was past. + +I perceived that the house had no inhabitant besides the two females and +the old man. I went in search of the latter, and found him crouched, as +before, at the kitchen-fire, smoking his pipe. I placed myself on the +same bench, and entered into conversation with him. + +I gathered from him that he had, for many years, been Mr. Hadwin's +servant. That lately he had cultivated a small farm in this +neighbourhood for his own advantage. Stopping one day in October, at the +tavern, he heard that his old master had lately been in the city, had +caught _the fever_, and after his return had died with it. The moment he +became sick, his servants fled from the house, and the neighbours +refused to approach it. The task of attending his sick-bed was allotted +to his daughters, and it was by their hands that his grave was dug and +his body covered with earth. The same terror of infection existed after +his death as before, and these hapless females were deserted by all +mankind. + +Old Caleb was no sooner informed of these particulars, than he hurried +to the house, and had since continued in their service. His heart was +kind, but it was easily seen that his skill extended only to execute the +directions of another. Grief for the death of Wallace and her father +preyed upon the health of the eldest daughter. The younger became her +nurse, and Caleb was always at hand to execute any orders the +performance of which was on a level with his understanding. Their +neighbours had not withheld their good offices, but they were still +terrified and estranged by the phantoms of pestilence. + +During the last week Susan had been too weak to rise from her bed; yet +such was the energy communicated by the tidings that Wallace was alive, +and had returned, that she leaped upon her feet and rushed down-stairs. +How little did that man deserve so strenuous and immortal an affection! + +I would not allow myself to ponder on the sufferings of these women. I +endeavoured to think only of the best expedients for putting an end to +these calamities. After a moment's deliberation I determined to go to a +house at some miles' distance; the dwelling of one who, though not +exempt from the reigning panic, had shown more generosity towards these +unhappy girls than others. During my former abode in this district, I +had ascertained his character, and found him to be compassionate and +liberal. + +Overpowered by fatigue and watching, Eliza was no sooner relieved, by my +presence, of some portion of her cares, than she sunk into profound +slumber. I directed Caleb to watch the house till my return, which +should be before midnight, and then set out for the dwelling of Mr. +Ellis. + +The weather was temperate and moist, and rendered the footing of the +meadows extremely difficult. The ground, that had lately been frozen and +covered with snow, was now changed into gullies and pools, and this was +no time to be fastidious in the choice of paths. A brook, swelled by the +recent _thaw_, was likewise to be passed. The rail which I had formerly +placed over it by way of bridge had disappeared, and I was obliged to +wade through it. At length I approached the house to which I was going. + +At so late an hour, farmers and farmers' servants are usually abed, and +their threshold is intrusted to their watch-dogs. Two belonged to Mr. +Ellis, whose ferocity and vigilance were truly formidable to a stranger; +but I hoped that in me they would recognise an old acquaintance, and +suffer me to approach. In this I was not mistaken. Though my person +could not be distinctly seen by starlight, they seemed to scent me from +afar, and met me with a thousand caresses. + +Approaching the house, I perceived that its tenants were retired to +their repose. This I expected, and hastened to awaken Mr. Ellis, by +knocking briskly at the door. Presently he looked out of a window above, +and, in answer to his inquiries, in which impatience at being so +unseasonably disturbed was mingled with anxiety, I told him my name, and +entreated him to come down and allow me a few minutes' conversation. He +speedily dressed himself, and, opening the kitchen door, we seated +ourselves before the fire. + +My appearance was sufficiently adapted to excite his wonder; he had +heard of my elopement from the house of Mr. Hadwin, he was a stranger to +the motives that prompted my departure, and to the events that had +befallen me, and no interview was more distant from his expectations +than the present. His curiosity was written in his features, but this +was no time to gratify his curiosity. The end that I now had in view was +to procure accommodation for Eliza Hadwin in this man's house. For this +purpose it was my duty to describe, with simplicity and truth, the +inconveniences which at present surrounded her, and to relate all that +had happened since my arrival. + +I perceived that my tale excited his compassion, and I continued with +new zeal to paint to him the helplessness of this girl. The death of +her father and sister left her the property of this farm. Her sex and +age disqualified her for superintending the harvest-field and the +threshing-floor; and no expedient was left but to lease the land to +another, and, taking up her abode in the family of some kinsman or +friend, to subsist, as she might easily do, upon the rent. Meanwhile her +continuance in this house was equally useless and dangerous, and I +insinuated to my companion the propriety of immediately removing her to +his own. + +Some hesitation and reluctance appeared in him, which I immediately +ascribed to an absurd dread of infection. I endeavoured, by appealing to +his reason as well as to his pity, to conquer this dread. I pointed out +the true cause of the death of the elder daughter, and assured him the +youngest knew no indisposition but that which arose from distress. I +offered to save him from any hazard that might attend his approaching +the house, by accompanying her hither myself. All that her safety +required was that his doors should not be shut against her when she +presented herself before them. + +Still he was fearful and reluctant; and, at length, mentioned that her +uncle resided not more than sixteen miles farther; that he was her +natural protector, and, he dared to say, would find no difficulty in +admitting her into his house. For his part, there might be reason in +what I said, but he could not bring himself to think but that there was +still some danger of _the fever_. It was right to assist people in +distress, to-be-sure; but to risk his own life he did not think to be +his duty. He was no relation of the family, and it was the duty of +relations to help each other. Her uncle was the proper person to assist +her, and no doubt he would be as willing as able. + +The marks of dubiousness and indecision which accompanied these words +encouraged me in endeavouring to subdue his scruples. The increase of +his aversion to my scheme kept pace with my remonstrances, and he +finally declared that he would, on no account, consent to it. + +Ellis was by no means hard of heart. His determination did not prove the +coldness of his charity, but merely the strength of his fears. He was +himself an object more of compassion than of anger; and he acted like +the man whose fear of death prompts him to push his companion from the +plank which saved him from drowning, but which is unable to sustain +both. Finding him invincible to my entreaties, I thought upon the +expedient which he suggested of seeking the protection of her uncle. It +was true that the loss of parents had rendered her uncle her legal +protector. His knowledge of the world; his house and property and +influence, would, perhaps, fit him for this office in a more eminent +degree than I was fitted. To seek a different asylum might, indeed, be +unjust to both; and, after some reflection, I not only dismissed the +regret which Ellis's refusal had given me, but even thanked him for the +intelligence and counsel which he had afforded me. I took leave of him, +and hastened back to Hadwin's. + +Eliza, by Caleb's report, was still asleep. There was no urgent +necessity for awakening her; but something was forthwith to be done with +regard to the unhappy girl that was dead. The proceeding incumbent on us +was obvious. All that remained was to dig a grave, and to deposit the +remains with as much solemnity and decency as the time would permit. +There were two methods of doing this. I might wait till the next day; +till a coffin could be made and conveyed hither; till the woman, whose +trade it was to make and put on the habiliments assigned by custom to +the dead, could be sought out and hired to attend; till kindred, +friends, and neighbours could be summoned to the obsequies; till a +carriage were provided to remove the body to a burying-ground, belonging +to a meeting-house, and five miles distant; till those whose trade it +was to dig graves had prepared one, within the sacred enclosure, for her +reception; or, neglecting this toilsome, tedious, and expensive +ceremonial, I might seek the grave of Hadwin, and lay the daughter by +the side of her parent. + +Perhaps I was strong in my preference of the latter mode. The customs of +burial may, in most cases, be in themselves proper. If the customs be +absurd, yet it may be generally proper to adhere to them; but doubtless +there are cases in which it is our duty to omit them. I conceived the +present case to be such a one. + +The season was bleak and inclement. Much time, labour, and expense would +be required to go through the customary rites. There was none but myself +to perform these, and I had not the suitable means. The misery of Eliza +would only be prolonged by adhering to these forms, and her fortune be +needlessly diminished by the expenses unavoidably to be incurred. + +After musing upon these ideas for some time, I rose from my seat, and +desired Caleb to follow me. We proceeded to an outer shed where farmers' +tools used to be kept. I supplied him and myself with a spade, and +requested him to lead me to the spot where Mr. Hadwin was laid. + +He betrayed some hesitation to comply, and appeared struck with some +degree of alarm, as if my purpose had been to molest, instead of +securing, the repose of the dead. I removed his doubts by explaining my +intentions; but he was scarcely less shocked, on discovering the truth, +than he had been alarmed by his first suspicions. He stammered out his +objections to my scheme. There was but one mode of burial, he thought, +that was decent and proper, and he could not be free to assist me in +pursuing any other mode. + +Perhaps Caleb's aversion to the scheme might have been easily overcome; +but I reflected that a mind like his was at once flexible and obstinate. +He might yield to arguments and entreaties, and act by their immediate +impulse; but the impulse passed away in a moment, old and habitual +convictions were resumed, and his deviation from the beaten track would +be merely productive of compunction. His aid, on the present occasion, +though of some use, was by no means indispensable. I forbore to solicit +his concurrence, or even to vanquish the scruples he entertained against +directing me to the grave of Hadwin. It was a groundless superstition +that made one spot more suitable for this purpose than another. I +desired Caleb, in a mild tone, to return to the kitchen, and leave me to +act as I thought proper. I then proceeded to the orchard. + +One corner of this field was somewhat above the level of the rest. The +tallest tree of the group grew there, and there I had formerly placed a +bench, and made it my retreat at periods of leisure. It had been +recommended by its sequestered situation, its luxuriant verdure, and +profound quiet. On one side was a potato-field, on the other a +_melon-patch_; and before me, in rows, some hundreds of apple-trees. +Here I was accustomed to seek the benefits of contemplation and study +the manuscripts of Lodi. A few months had passed since I had last +visited this spot. What revolutions had since occurred, and how gloomily +contrasted was my present purpose with what had formerly led me hither! + +In this spot I had hastily determined to dig the grave of Susan. The +grave was dug. All that I desired was a cavity of sufficient dimensions +to receive her. This being made, I returned to the house, lifted the +corpse in my arms, and bore it without delay to the spot. Caleb, seated +in the kitchen, and Eliza, asleep in her chamber, were wholly unapprized +of my motions. The grave was covered, the spade reposited under the +shed, and my seat by the kitchen-fire resumed in a time apparently too +short for so solemn and momentous a transaction. + +I look back upon this incident with emotions not easily described. It +seems as if I acted with too much precipitation; as if insensibility, +and not reason, had occasioned that clearness of conceptions, and +bestowed that firmness of muscles, which I then experienced. I neither +trembled nor wavered in my purpose. I bore in my arms the being whom I +had known and loved, through the whistling gale and intense darkness of +a winter's night; I heaped earth upon her limbs, and covered them from +human observation, without fluctuations or tremors, though not without +feelings that were awful and sublime. + +Perhaps some part of my steadfastness was owing to my late experience, +and some minds may be more easily inured to perilous emergencies than +others. If reason acquires strength only by the diminution of +sensibility, perhaps it is just for sensibility to be diminished. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI. + + +The safety of Eliza was the object that now occupied my cares. To have +slept, after her example, had been most proper; but my uncertainty with +regard to her fate, and my desire to conduct her to some other home, +kept my thoughts in perpetual motion. I waited with impatience till she +should awake and allow me to consult with her on plans for futurity. + +Her sleep terminated not till the next day had arisen. Having recovered +the remembrance of what had lately happened, she inquired for her +sister. She wanted to view once more the face and kiss the lips of her +beloved Susan. Some relief to her anguish she expected to derive from +this privilege. + +When informed of the truth, when convinced that Susan had disappeared +forever, she broke forth into fresh passion. It seemed as if her loss +was not hopeless or complete as long as she was suffered to behold the +face of her friend and to touch her lips. She accused me of acting +without warrant and without justice; of defrauding her of her dearest +and only consolation; and of treating her sister's sacred remains with +barbarous indifference and rudeness. + +I explained in the gentlest terms the reasons of my conduct. I was not +surprised or vexed that she, at first, treated them as futile, and as +heightening my offence. Such was the impulse of a grief which was +properly excited by her loss. To be tranquil and steadfast, in the midst +of the usual causes of impetuosity and agony, is either the prerogative +of wisdom that sublimes itself above all selfish considerations, or the +badge of giddy and unfeeling folly. + +The torrent was at length exhausted. Upbraiding was at an end; and +gratitude, and tenderness, and implicit acquiescence in any scheme which +my prudence should suggest, succeeded. I mentioned her uncle as one to +whom it would be proper, in her present distress, to apply. + +She started and betrayed uneasiness at this name. It was evident that +she by no means concurred with me in my notions of propriety; that she +thought with aversion of seeking her uncle's protection. I requested her +to state her objections to this scheme, or to mention any other which +she thought preferable. + +She knew nobody. She had not a friend in the world but myself. She had +never been out of her father's house. She had no relation but her uncle +Philip, and he--she could not live with him. I must not insist upon her +going to his house. It was not the place for her. She should never be +happy there. + +I was, at first, inclined to suspect in my friend some capricious and +groundless antipathy. I desired her to explain what in her uncle's +character made him so obnoxious. She refused to be more explicit, and +persisted in thinking that his house was no suitable abode for her. + +Finding her, in this respect, invincible, I sought for some other +expedient. Might she not easily be accommodated as a boarder in the +city, or some village, or in a remote quarter of the country? Ellis, her +nearest and most opulent neighbour, had refused to receive her; but +there were others who had not his fears. There were others, within the +compass of a day's journey, who were strangers to the cause of Hadwin's +death; but would it not be culpable to take advantage of that ignorance? +Their compliance ought not to be the result of deception. + +While thus engaged, the incidents of my late journey recurred to my +remembrance, and I asked, "Is not the honest woman, who entertained +Wallace, just such a person as that of whom I am in search? Her +treatment of Wallace shows her to be exempt from chimerical fears, +proves that she has room in her house for an occasional inmate." + +Encouraged by these views, I told my weeping companion that I had +recollected a family in which she would be kindly treated; and that, if +she chose, we would not lose a moment in repairing thither. Horses, +belonging to the farm, grazed in the meadows, and a couple of these +would carry us in a few hours to the place which I had selected for her +residence. On her eagerly assenting to this proposal, I inquired in +whose care, and in what state, our present habitation should be left. + +The father's property now belonged to the daughter. Eliza's mind was +quick, active, and sagacious; but her total inexperience gave her +sometimes the appearance of folly. She was eager to fly from this house, +and to resign herself and her property, without limitation or condition, +to my control. Our intercourse had been short, but she relied on my +protection and counsel as absolutely as she had been accustomed to do +upon her father's. + +She knew not what answer to make to my inquiry. Whatever I pleased to do +was the best. What did I think ought to be done? + +"Ah!" thought I, "sweet, artless, and simple girl! how wouldst thou have +fared, if Heaven had not sent me to thy succour? There are beings in the +world who would make a selfish use of thy confidence; who would beguile +thee at once of innocence and property. Such am not I. Thy welfare is a +precious deposit, and no father or brother could watch over it with more +solicitude than I will do." + +I was aware that Mr. Hadwin might have fixed the destination of his +property, and the guardianship of his daughters, by will. On suggesting +this to my friend, it instantly reminded her of an incident that took +place after his last return from the city. He had drawn up his will, and +gave it into Susan's possession, who placed it in a drawer, whence it +was now taken by my friend. + +By this will his property was now found to be bequeathed to his two +daughters; and his brother, Philip Hadwin, was named executor, and +guardian to his daughters till they should be twenty years old. This +name was no sooner heard by my friend, than she exclaimed, in a tone of +affright, "Executor! My uncle! What is that? What power does that give +him?" + +"I know not exactly the power of executors. He will, doubtless, have +possession of your property till you are twenty years of age. Your +person will likewise be under his care till that time." + +"Must he decide where I am to live?" + +"He is vested with all the power of a father." + +This assurance excited the deepest consternation. She fixed her eyes on +the ground, and was lost, for a time, in the deepest reverie. +Recovering, at length, she said, with a sigh, "What if my father had +made no will?" + +"In that case, a guardian could not be dispensed with, but the right of +naming him would belong to yourself." + +"And my uncle would have nothing to do with my affairs?" + +"I am no lawyer," said I; "but I presume all authority over your person +and property would devolve upon the guardian of your own choice." + +"Then I am free." Saying this, with a sudden motion, she tore in several +pieces the will, which, during this dialogue, she had held in her hand, +and threw the fragments into the fire. + +No action was more unexpected to me than this. My astonishment hindered +me from attempting to rescue the paper from the flames. It was consumed +in a moment. I was at a loss in what manner to regard this sacrifice. It +denoted a force of mind little in unison with that simplicity and +helplessness which this girl had hitherto displayed. It argued the +deepest apprehensions of mistreatment from her uncle. Whether his +conduct had justified this violent antipathy, I had no means of judging. +Mr. Hadwin's choice of him, as his executor, was certainly one proof of +his integrity. + +My abstraction was noticed by Eliza with visible anxiety. It was plain +that she dreaded the impression which this act of seeming temerity had +made upon me. "Do not be angry with me," said she; "perhaps I have been +wrong, but I could not help it. I will have but one guardian and one +protector." + +The deed was irrevocable. In my present ignorance of the domestic +history of the Hadwins, I was unqualified to judge how far circumstances +might extenuate or justify the act. On both accounts, therefore, it was +improper to expatiate upon it. + +It was concluded to leave the care of the house to honest Caleb; to +fasten closets and drawers, and, carrying away the money which was found +in one of them, and which amounted to no inconsiderable sum, to repair +to the house formerly mentioned. The air was cold; a heavy snow began to +fall in the night; the wind blew tempestuously; and we were compelled to +confront it. + +In leaving her dwelling, in which she had spent her whole life, the +unhappy girl gave way afresh to her sorrow. It made her feeble and +helpless. When placed upon the horse, she was scarcely able to maintain +her seat. Already chilled by the cold, blinded by the drifting snow, and +cut by the blast, all my remonstrances were needed to inspire her with +resolution. + +I am not accustomed to regard the elements, or suffer them to retard or +divert me from any design that I have formed. I had overlooked the weak +and delicate frame of my companion, and made no account of her being +less able to support cold and fatigue than myself. It was not till we +had made some progress in our way, that I began to view, in their true +light, the obstacles that were to be encountered. I conceived it, +however, too late to retreat, and endeavoured to push on with speed. + +My companion was a skilful rider, but her steed was refractory and +unmanageable. She was able, however, to curb his spirit till we had +proceeded ten or twelve miles from Malverton. The wind and the cold +became too violent to be longer endured, and I resolved to stop at the +first house which should present itself to my view, for the sake of +refreshment and warmth. + +We now entered a wood of some extent, at the termination of which I +remembered that a dwelling stood. To pass this wood, therefore, with +expedition, was all that remained before we could reach a hospitable +asylum. I endeavoured to sustain, by this information, the sinking +spirits of my companion. While busy in conversing with her, a blast of +irresistible force twisted off the highest branch of a tree before us. +It fell in the midst of the road, at the distance of a few feet from her +horse's head. Terrified by this accident, the horse started from the +path, and, rushing into the wood, in a moment threw himself and his +rider on the ground, by encountering the rugged stock of an oak. + +I dismounted and flew to her succour. The snow was already dyed with the +blood which flowed from some wound in her head, and she lay without +sense or motion. My terrors did not hinder me from anxiously searching +for the hurt which was received, and ascertaining the extent of the +injury. Her forehead was considerably bruised; but, to my unspeakable +joy, the blood flowed from the nostrils, and was, therefore, to be +regarded as no mortal symptom. + +I lifted her in my arms, and looked around me for some means of relief. +The house at which I proposed to stop was upwards of a mile distant. I +remembered none that was nearer. To place the wounded girl on my own +horse, and proceed gently to the house in question, was the sole +expedient; but, at present, she was senseless, and might, on recovering, +be too feeble to sustain her own weight. + +To recall her to life was my first duty; but I was powerless, or +unacquainted with the means. I gazed upon her features, and endeavoured, +by pressing her in my arms, to inspire her with some warmth. I looked +towards the road, and listened for the wished-for sound of some carriage +that might be prevailed on to stop and receive her. Nothing was more +improbable than that either pleasure or business would induce men to +encounter so chilling and vehement a blast. To be lighted on by some +traveller was, therefore, a hopeless event. + +Meanwhile, Eliza's swoon continued, and my alarm increased. What effect +her half-frozen blood would have in prolonging this condition, or +preventing her return to life, awakened the deepest apprehensions. I +left the wood, still bearing her in my arms, and re-entered the road, +from the desire of descrying, as soon as possible, the coming passenger. +I looked this way and that, and again listened. Nothing but the sweeping +blast, rent and fallen branches, and snow that filled and obscured the +air, were perceivable. Each moment retarded the course of my own blood +and stiffened my sinews, and made the state of my companion more +desperate. How was I to act? To perish myself, or see her perish, was an +ignoble fate; courage and activity were still able to avert it. My horse +stood near, docile and obsequious; to mount him and to proceed on my +way, holding my lifeless burden in my arms, was all that remained. + +At this moment my attention was called by several voices issuing from +the wood. It was the note of gayety and glee. Presently a sleigh, with +several persons of both sexes, appeared, in a road which led through the +forest into that in which I stood. They moved at a quick pace, but their +voices were hushed, and they checked the speed of their horses, on +discovering us. No occurrence was more auspicious than this; for I +relied with perfect confidence on the benevolence of these persons, and, +as soon as they came near, claimed their assistance. + +My story was listened to with sympathy, and one of the young men, +leaping from the sleigh, assisted me in placing Eliza in the place which +he had left. A female, of sweet aspect and engaging manners, insisted +upon turning back and hastening to the house, where it seems her father +resided, and which the party had just left. I rode after the sleigh, +which in a few minutes arrived at the house. The dwelling was spacious +and neat, and a venerable man and woman, alarmed by the quick return of +the young people, came forth to know the cause. They received their +guest with the utmost tenderness, and provided her with all the +accommodations which her condition required. Their daughter relinquished +the scheme of pleasure in which she had been engaged, and, compelling +her companions to depart without her, remained to nurse and console the +sick. + +A little time showed that no lasting injury had been suffered. +Contusions, more troublesome than dangerous, and easily curable by such +applications as rural and traditional wisdom has discovered, were the +only consequences of the fall. My mind, being relieved from +apprehensions on this score, had leisure to reflect upon the use which +might be made of the present state of things. + +When I remarked the structure of this house, and the features and +deportment of its inhabitants, methought I discerned a powerful +resemblance between this family and Hadwin's. It seemed as if some +benignant power had led us hither as to the most suitable asylum that +could be obtained; and, in order to supply to the forlorn Eliza the +place of those parents and that sister she had lost, I conceived that, +if their concurrence could be gained, no abode was more suitable than +this. No time was to be lost in gaining this concurrence. The curiosity +of our host and hostess, whose name was Curling, speedily afforded me an +opportunity to disclose the history and real situation of my friend. +There were no motives to reserve or prevarication. There was nothing +which I did not faithfully and circumstantially relate. I concluded with +stating my wishes that they would admit my friend as a boarder into +their house. + +The old man was warm in his concurrence. His wife betrayed some +scruples; which, however, her husband's arguments and mine removed. I +did not even suppress the tenor and destruction of the will, and the +antipathy which Eliza had conceived for her uncle, and which I declared +myself unable to explain. It presently appeared that Mr. Curling had +some knowledge of Philip Hadwin, and that the latter had acquired the +repute of being obdurate and profligate. He employed all means to +accomplish his selfish ends, and would probably endeavour to usurp the +property which his brother had left. To provide against his power and +his malice would be particularly incumbent on us, and my new friend +readily promised his assistance in the measures which we should take to +that end. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXII. + + +The state of my feelings may be easily conceived to consist of mixed, +but, on the whole, of agreeable, sensations. The death of Hadwin and his +elder daughter could not be thought upon without keen regrets. These it +was useless to indulge, and were outweighed by reflections on the +personal security in which the survivor was now placed. It was hurtful +to expend my unprofitable cares upon the dead, while there existed one +to whom they could be of essential benefit, and in whose happiness they +would find an ample compensation. + +This happiness, however, was still incomplete. It was still exposed to +hazard, and much remained to be done before adequate provision was made +against the worst of evils, poverty. I now found that Eliza, being only +fifteen years old, stood in need of a guardian, and that the forms of +law required that some one should make himself her father's +administrator. Mr. Curling, being tolerably conversant with these +subjects, pointed out the mode to be pursued, and engaged to act on this +occasion as Eliza's friend. + +There was another topic on which my happiness, as well as that of my +friend, required us to form some decision. I formerly mentioned, that, +during my abode at Malverton, I had not been insensible to the +attractions of this girl. An affection had stolen upon me, for which it +was easily discovered that I should not have been denied a suitable +return. My reasons for stifling these emotions, at that time, have been +mentioned. It may now be asked, what effect subsequent events had +produced on my feelings, and how far partaking and relieving her +distresses had revived a passion which may readily be supposed to have +been, at no time, entirely extinguished. + +The impediments which then existed were removed. Our union would no +longer risk the resentment or sorrow of her excellent parent. She had no +longer a sister to divide with her the property of the farm, and make +what was sufficient for both, when living together, too little for +either separately. Her youth and simplicity required, beyond most +others, a legal protector, and her happiness was involved in the success +of those hopes which she took no pains to conceal. + +As to me, it seemed at first view as if every incident conspired to +determine my choice. Omitting all regard to the happiness of others, my +own interest could not fail to recommend a scheme by which the precious +benefits of competence and independence might be honestly obtained. The +excursions of my fancy had sometimes carried me beyond the bounds +prescribed by my situation, but they were, nevertheless, limited to that +field to which I had once some prospect of acquiring a title. All I +wanted for the basis of my gaudiest and most dazzling structures was a +hundred acres of plough-land and meadow. Here my spirit of improvement, +my zeal to invent and apply new maxims of household luxury and +convenience, new modes and instruments of tillage, new arts connected +with orchard, garden, and cornfield, were supplied with abundant scope. +Though the want of these would not benumb my activity, or take away +content, the possession would confer exquisite and permanent enjoyments. + +My thoughts have ever hovered over the images of wife and children with +more delight than over any other images. My fancy was always active on +this theme, and its reveries sufficiently ecstatic and glowing; but, +since my intercourse with this girl, my scattered visions were collected +and concentrated. I had now a form and features before me; a sweet and +melodious voice vibrated in my ear; my soul was filled, as it were, with +her lineaments and gestures, actions and looks. All ideas, possessing +any relation to beauty or sex, appeared to assume this shape. They kept +an immovable place in my mind, they diffused around them an ineffable +complacency. Love is merely of value as a prelude to a more tender, +intimate, and sacred union. Was I not in love? and did I not pant after +the irrevocable bounds, the boundless privileges, of wedlock? + +The question which others might ask, I have asked myself:--Was I not in +love? I am really at a loss for an answer. There seemed to be +irresistible weight in the reasons why I should refuse to marry, and +even forbear to foster love in my friend. I considered my youth, my +defective education, and my limited views. I had passed from my cottage +into the world. I had acquired, even in my transient sojourn among the +busy haunts of men, more knowledge than the lucubrations and employments +of all my previous years had conferred. Hence I might infer the +childlike immaturity of my understanding, and the rapid progress I was +still capable of making. Was this an age to form an irrevocable +contract; to choose the companion of my future life, the associate of my +schemes of intellectual and benevolent activity? + +I had reason to contemn my own acquisitions; but were not those of Eliza +still more slender? Could I rely upon the permanence of her equanimity +and her docility to my instructions? What qualities might not time +unfold, and how little was I qualified to estimate the character of one +whom no vicissitude or hardship had approached before the death of her +father,--whose ignorance was, indeed, great, when it could justly be +said even to exceed my own! + +Should I mix with the world, enroll myself in different classes of +society, be a witness to new scenes; might not my modes of judging +undergo essential variations? Might I not gain the knowledge of beings +whose virtue was the gift of experience and the growth of knowledge? who +joined to the modesty and charms of woman the benefits of education, the +maturity and steadfastness of age, and with whose character and +sentiments my own would be much more congenial than they could possibly +be with the extreme youth, rustic simplicity, and mental imperfections +of Eliza Hadwin? + +To say truth, I was now conscious of a revolution in my mind. I can +scarcely assign its true cause. No tokens of it appeared during my late +retreat to Malverton. Subsequent incidents, perhaps, joined with the +influence of meditation, had generated new views. On my first visit to +the city, I had met with nothing but scenes of folly, depravity, and +cunning. No wonder that the images connected with the city were +disastrous and gloomy; but my second visit produced somewhat different +impressions. Maravegli, Estwick, Medlicote, and you, were beings who +inspired veneration and love. Your residence appeared to beautify and +consecrate this spot, and gave birth to an opinion that, if cities are +the chosen seats of misery and vice, they are likewise the soil of all +the laudable and strenuous productions of mind. + +My curiosity and thirst of knowledge had likewise received a new +direction. Books and inanimate nature were cold and lifeless +instructors. Men, and the works of men, were the objects of rational +study, and our own eyes only could communicate just conceptions of human +performances. The influence of manners, professions, and social +institutions, could be thoroughly known only by direct inspection. + +Competence, fixed property and a settled abode, rural occupations and +conjugal pleasures, were justly to be prized; but their value could be +known and their benefits fully enjoyed only by those who have tried all +scenes; who have mixed with all classes and ranks; who have partaken of +all conditions; and who have visited different hemispheres and climates +and nations. The next five or eight years of my life should be devoted +to activity and change; it should be a period of hardship, danger, and +privation; it should be my apprenticeship to fortitude and wisdom, and +be employed to fit me for the tranquil pleasures and steadfast exertions +of the remainder of my life. + +In consequence of these reflections, I determined to suppress that +tenderness which the company of Miss Hadwin produced, to remove any +mistakes into which she had fallen, and to put it out of my power to +claim for her more than the dues of friendship. All ambiguities, in a +case like this, and all delays, were hurtful. She was not exempt from +passion, but this passion, I thought, was young, and easily +extinguished. + +In a short time her health was restored, and her grief melted down into +a tender melancholy. I chose a suitable moment, when not embarrassed by +the presence of others, to reveal my thoughts. My disclosure was +ingenuous and perfect. I laid before her the whole train of my thoughts, +nearly in the order, though in different and more copious terms than +those, in which I have just explained them to you. I concealed nothing. +The impression which her artless loveliness had made upon me at +Malverton; my motives for estranging myself from her society; the nature +of my present feelings with regard to her, and my belief of the state of +her heart; the reasonings into which I had entered; the advantages of +wedlock and its inconveniences; and, finally, the resolution I had +formed of seeking the city, and, perhaps, of crossing the ocean, were +minutely detailed. + +She interrupted me not, but changing looks, blushes, flutterings, and +sighs, showed her to be deeply and variously affected by my discourse. I +paused for some observation or comment. She seemed conscious of my +expectation, but had no power to speak. Overpowered, at length, by her +emotions, she burst into tears. + +I was at a loss in what manner to construe these symptoms. I waited till +her vehemence was somewhat subsided, and then said, "What think you of +my schemes? Your approbation is of some moment: do you approve of them +or not?" + +This question excited some little resentment, and she answered, "You +have left me nothing to say. Go, and be happy; no matter what becomes of +me. I hope I shall be able to take care of myself." + +The tone in which this was said had something in it of upbraiding. "Your +happiness," said I, "is too dear to me to leave it in danger. In this +house you will not need my protection, but I shall never be so far from +you as to be disabled from hearing how you fare, by letter, and of being +active for your good. You have some money, which you must husband well. +Any rent from your farm cannot be soon expected; but what you have got, +if you remain with Mr. Curling, will pay your board and all other +expenses for two years; but you must be a good economist. I shall +expect," continued I, with a serious smile, "a punctual account of all +your sayings and doings. I must know how every minute is employed and +every penny is expended, and, if I find you erring, I must tell you so +in good round terms." + +These words did not dissipate the sullenness which her looks had +betrayed. She still forbore to look at me, and said, "I do not know how +I should tell you every thing. You care so little about me that--I +should only be troublesome. I am old enough to think and act for myself, +and shall advise with nobody but myself." + +"That is true," said I. "I shall rejoice to see you independent and +free. Consult your own understanding, and act according to its dictates. +Nothing more is wanting to make you useful and happy. I am anxious to +return to the city, but, if you will allow me, will go first to +Malverton, see that things are in due order, and that old Caleb is well. +From thence, if you please, I will call at your uncle's, and tell him +what has happened. He may, otherwise, entertain pretensions and form +views erroneous in themselves and injurious to you. He may think himself +entitled to manage your estate. He may either suppose a will to have +been made, or may actually have heard from your father, or from others, +of that which you burnt, and in which he was named executor. His +boisterous and sordid temper may prompt him to seize your house and +goods, unless seasonably apprized of the truth; and, when he knows the +truth, he may start into rage, which I shall be more fitted to encounter +than you. I am told that anger transforms him into a ferocious madman. +Shall I call upon him?" + +She shuddered at the picture which I had drawn of her uncle's character; +but this emotion quickly gave place to self-upbraiding for the manner in +which she had repelled my proffers of service. She melted once more into +tears, and exclaimed,-- + +"I am not worthy of the pains you take for me. I am unfeeling and +ungrateful. Why should I think ill of you for despising me, when I +despise myself?" + +"You do yourself injustice, my friend. I think I see your most secret +thoughts; and these, instead of exciting anger or contempt, only awaken +compassion and tenderness. You love; and must, therefore, conceive my +conduct to be perverse and cruel. I counted on your harbouring such +thoughts. Time only and reflection will enable you to see my motives in +their true light. Hereafter you will recollect my words, and find them +sufficient to justify my conduct. You will acknowledge the propriety of +my engaging in the cares of the world before I sit down in retirement +and ease." + +"Ah! how much you mistake me! I admire and approve of your schemes. What +angers and distresses me is, that you think me unworthy to partake of +your cares and labours; that you regard my company as an obstacle and +encumbrance; that assistance and counsel must all proceed from you; and +that no scene is fit for me, but what you regard as slothful and +inglorious. + +"Have I not the same claims to be wise, and active, and courageous, as +you? If I am ignorant and weak, do I not owe it to the same cause that +has made you so? and will not the same means which promote your +improvement be likewise useful to me? You desire to obtain knowledge, by +travelling and conversing with many persons, and studying many sciences; +but you desire it for yourself alone. Me you think poor, weak, and +contemptible; fit for nothing but to spin and churn. Provided I exist, +am screened from the weather, have enough to eat and drink, you are +satisfied. As to strengthening my mind and enlarging my knowledge, these +things are valuable to you, but on me they are thrown away. I deserve +not the gift." + +This strain, simple and just as it was, was wholly unexpected. I was +surprised and disconcerted. In my previous reasonings I had certainly +considered her sex as utterly unfitting her for those scenes and +pursuits to which I had destined myself. Not a doubt of the validity of +my conclusion had insinuated itself; but now my belief was shaken, +though it was not subverted. I could not deny that human ignorance was +curable by the same means in one sex as in the other; that fortitude +and skill were of no less value to one than to the other. + +Questionless, my friend was rendered, by her age and inexperience, if +not by sex, more helpless and dependent than I; but had I not been prone +to overrate the difficulties which I should encounter? Had I not deemed +unjustly of her constancy and force of mind? Marriage would render her +property joint, and would not compel me to take up my abode in the +woods, to abide forever in one spot, to shackle my curiosity, or limit +my excursions. + +But marriage was a contract awful and irrevocable. Was this the woman +with whom my reason enjoined me to blend my fate, without the power of +dissolution? Would not time unfold qualities in her which I did not at +present suspect, and which would evince an incurable difference in our +minds? Would not time lead me to the feet of one who more nearly +approached that standard of ideal excellence which poets and romancers +had exhibited to my view? + +These considerations were powerful and delicate. I knew not in what +terms to state them to my companion, so as to preclude the imputation of +arrogance or indecorum. It became me, however, to be explicit, and to +excite her resentment rather than mislead her judgment. She collected my +meaning from a few words, and, interrupting me, said,-- + +"How very low is the poor Eliza in your opinion! We are, indeed, both +too young to be married. May I not see you, and talk with you, without +being your wife? May I not share your knowledge, relieve your cares, and +enjoy your confidence, as a sister might do? May I not accompany you in +your journeys and studies, as one friend accompanies another? My +property may be yours; you may employ it for your benefit and mine; not +because you are my husband, but my friend. You are going to the city. +Let me go along with you. Let me live where you live. The house that is +large enough to hold you will hold me. The fare that is good enough for +you will be luxury to me. Oh! let it be so, will you? + +"You cannot think how studious, how thoughtful, how inquisitive, I will +be. How tenderly I will nurse you when sick! it is possible you may be +sick, you know, and, no one in the world will be half so watchful and +affectionate as I shall be. Will you let me?" + +In saying this, her earnestness gave new pathos to her voice. Insensibly +she put her face close to mine, and, transported beyond the usual bounds +of reserve by the charms of that picture which her fancy contemplated, +she put her lips to my cheek, and repeated, in a melting accent, "Will +you let me?" + +You, my friends, who have not seen Eliza Hadwin, cannot conceive what +effect this entreaty was adapted to produce in me. She has surely the +sweetest voice, the most speaking features, and most delicate symmetry, +that ever woman possessed. Her guileless simplicity and tenderness made +her more enchanting. To be the object of devotion to a heart so fervent +and pure was, surely, no common privilege. Thus did she tender me +herself; and was not the gift to be received with eagerness and +gratitude? + +No. I was not so much a stranger to mankind as to acquiesce in this +scheme. As my sister or my wife, the world would suffer us to reside +under the same roof; to apply to common use the same property; and daily +to enjoy the company of each other; but she was not my sister, and +marriage would be an act of the grossest indiscretion. I explained to +her, in few words, the objections to which her project was liable. + +"Well, then," said she, "let me live in the next house, in the +neighbourhood, or, at least, in the same city. Let me be where I may see +you once a day, or once a week, or once a month. Shut me not wholly from +your society, and the means of becoming, in time, less ignorant and +foolish than I now am." + +After a pause, I replied, "I love you too well not to comply with this +request. Perhaps the city will be as suitable a residence as any other +for you, as it will, for some time, be most convenient to me. I shall be +better able to watch over your welfare, and supply you with the means of +improvement, when you are within a small distance. At present, you must +consent to remain here, while I visit your uncle, and afterwards go to +the city. I shall look out for you a suitable lodging, and inform you +when it is found. If you then continue in the same mind, I will come, +and, having gained the approbation of Mr. Curling, will conduct you to +town." Here ended our dialogue. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIII. + + +Though I had consented to this scheme, I was conscious that some hazards +attended it. I was afraid of calumny, which might trouble the peace or +destroy the reputation of my friend. I was afraid of my own weakness, +which might be seduced into an indiscreet marriage by the charms or +sufferings of this bewitching creature. I felt that there was no price +too dear to save her from slander. A fair fame is of the highest +importance to a young female, and the loss of it but poorly supplied by +the testimony of her own conscience. I had reason for tenfold solicitude +on this account, since I was her only protector and friend. Hence, I +cherished some hopes that time might change her views, and suggest less +dangerous schemes. Meanwhile, I was to lose no time in visiting +Malverton and Philip Hadwin. + +About ten days had elapsed since we had deserted Malverton. These were +days of successive storms, and travelling had been rendered +inconvenient. The weather was now calm and clear, and, early in the +morning that ensued the dialogue which I have just related, I set out on +horseback. + +Honest Caleb was found eating his breakfast nearly in the spot where he +had been first discovered. He answered my inquiries by saying, that, two +days after our departure, several men had come to the house, one of whom +was Philip Hadwin. They had interrogated him as to the condition of the +farm, and the purpose of his remaining on it. William Hadwin they knew +to have been some time dead; but where were the girls, his daughters? + +Caleb answered that Susy, the eldest, was likewise dead. + +These tidings excited astonishment. When died she, and how, and where +was she buried? + +It happened two days before, and she was buried, he believed, but could +not tell where. + +Not tell where? By whom, then, was she buried? + +Really, he could not tell. Some strange man came there just as she was +dying. He went to the room, and, when she was dead, took her away, but +what he did with the body was more than he could say, but he had a +notion that he buried it. The man stayed till the morning, and then went +off with Lizzy, leaving him to keep house by himself. He had not seen +either of them, nor, indeed, a single soul since. + +This was all the information that Caleb could afford the visitants. It +was so lame and incredible that they began to charge the man with +falsehood, and to threaten him with legal animadversion. Just then Mr. +Ellis entered the house, and, being made acquainted with the subject of +discourse, told all that he himself knew. He related the midnight visit +which I had paid him, explained my former situation in the family, and +my disappearance in September. He stated the advice he had given me to +carry Eliza to her uncle's, and my promise to comply with his counsel. +The uncle declared he had seen nothing of his niece, and Caleb added, +that, when she set out, she took the road that led to town. + +These hints afforded grounds for much conjecture and suspicion. Ellis +now mentioned some intelligence that he had gathered respecting me in a +late journey to ----. It seems I was the son of an honest farmer in that +quarter, who married a tidy girl of a milkmaid that lived with him. My +father had detected me in making some atrocious advances to my +mother-in-law, and had turned me out of doors. I did not go off, +however, without rifling his drawer of some hundreds of dollars, which +he had laid up against a rainy day. I was noted for such pranks, and was +hated by all the neighbours for my pride and laziness. It was easy, by +comparison of circumstances, for Ellis to ascertain that Hadwin's +servant Mervyn was the same against whom such heavy charges were laid. + +Previously to this journey, he had heard of me from Hadwin, who was loud +in praise of my diligence, sobriety, and modesty. For his part, he had +always been cautious of giving countenance to vagrants that came from +nobody knew where, and worked their way with a plausible tongue. He was +not surprised to hear it whispered that Betsy Hadwin had fallen in love +with the youth, and now, no doubt, he had persuaded her to run away with +him. The heiress of a fine farm was a prize not to be met with every +day. + +Philip broke into rage at this news; swore that if it turned out so, his +niece should starve upon the town, and that he would take good care to +balk the lad. His brother he well knew had left a will, to which he was +executor, and that this will would in good time be forthcoming. After +much talk and ransacking the house, and swearing at his truant niece, he +and his company departed, charging Caleb to keep the house and its +contents for his use. This was all that Caleb's memory had retained of +that day's proceedings. + +Curling had lately commented on the character of Philip Hadwin. This man +was totally unlike his brother, was a noted brawler and bully, a tyrant +to his children, a plague to his neighbours, and kept a rendezvous for +drunkards and idlers, at the sign of the Bull's Head, at ----. He was +not destitute of parts, and was no less dreaded for cunning than +malignity. He was covetous, and never missed an opportunity of +overreaching his neighbour. There was no doubt that his niece's property +would be embezzled should it ever come into his hands, and any power +which he might obtain over her person would be exercised to her +destruction. His children were tainted with the dissoluteness of their +father, and marriage had not repaired the reputation of his daughters, +or cured them of depravity: this was the man whom I now proposed to +visit. + +I scarcely need to say that the calumny of Betty Lawrence gave me no +uneasiness. My father had no doubt been deceived, as well as my father's +neighbours, by the artifices of this woman. I passed among them for a +thief and a profligate, but their error had hitherto been harmless to +me. The time might come which should confute the tale without my +efforts. Betty, sooner or later, would drop her mask, and afford the +antidote to her own poisons, unless some new incident should occur to +make me hasten the catastrophe. + +I arrived at Hadwin's house. I was received with some attention as a +guest. I looked, among the pimpled visages that filled the piazza, for +that of the landlord, but found him in an inner apartment with two or +three more seated round a table. On intimating my wish to speak with him +alone, the others withdrew. + +Hadwin's visage had some traces of resemblance to his brother; but the +meek, placid air, pale cheeks, and slender form of the latter were +powerfully contrasted with the bloated arrogance, imperious brow, and +robust limbs of the former. This man's rage was awakened by a straw; it +impelled him in an instant to oaths and buffetings, and made his life an +eternal brawl. The sooner my interview with such a personage should be +at an end, the better. I therefore explained the purpose of my coming as +fully and in as few words as possible. + +"Your name, sir, is Philip Hadwin. Your brother William, of Malverton, +died lately and left two daughters. The youngest only is now alive, and +I come, commissioned from her, to inform you that, as no will of her +father's is extant, she is preparing to administer to his estate. As her +father's brother, she thought you entitled to this information." + +The change which took place in the countenance of this man, during this +address, was remarkable, but not easily described. His cheeks contracted +a deeper crimson, his eyes sparkled, and his face assumed an expression +in which curiosity was mingled with rage. He bent forward, and said, in +a hoarse and contemptuous tone, "Pray, is your name Mervyn?" + +I answered, without hesitation, and as if the question were wholly +unimportant, "Yes; my name is Mervyn." + +"God damn it! You then are the damned rascal"--(but permit me to repeat +his speech without the oaths with which it was plentifully interlarded. +Not three words were uttered without being garnished with a--"God damn +it!" "damnation!" "I'll be damned to hell if"--and the like energetic +expletives.) "You then are the rascal that robbed Billy's house; that +ran away with the fool his daughter; persuaded her to burn her father's +will, and have the hellish impudence to come into this house! But I +thank you for it. I was going to look for you; you've saved me trouble. +I'll settle all accounts with you here. Fair and softly, my good lad! If +I don't bring you to the gallows--If I let you escape without such a +dressing! Damned impudence! Fellow! I've been at Malverton. I've heard +of your tricks. So! finding the will not quite to your mind, knowing +that the executor would balk your schemes, you threw the will into the +fire; you robbed the house of all the cash, and made off with the +girl!--The old fellow saw it all, and will swear to the truth." + +These words created some surprise. I meant not to conceal from this man +the tenor and destruction of the will, nor even the measures which his +niece had taken or intended to take. What I supposed to be unknown to +him appeared to have been communicated by the talkative Caleb, whose +mind was more inquisitive and less sluggish than first appearances had +led me to imagine. Instead of moping by the kitchen-fire when Eliza and +I were conversing in an upper room, it now appeared that he had +reconnoitred our proceedings through some keyhole or crevice, and had +related what he had seen to Hadwin. + +Hadwin proceeded to exhaust his rage in oaths and menaces. He frequently +clenched his fist and thrust it in my face, drew it back as if to render +his blow more deadly; ran over the same series of exclamations on my +impudence and villany, and talked of the gallows and the whipping-post; +enforced each word by the epithets _damnable_ and _hellish_; closed each +sentence with--"and be curst to you!" + +There was but one mode for me to pursue; all forcible opposition to a +man of his strength was absurd. It was my province to make his anger +confine itself to words, and patiently to wait till the paroxysm should +end or subside of itself. To effect this purpose, I kept my seat, and +carefully excluded from my countenance every indication of timidity and +panic on the one hand, and of scorn and defiance on the other. My look +and attitude were those of a man who expected harsh words, but who +entertained no suspicion that blows would be inflicted. + +I was indebted for my safety to an inflexible adherence to this medium. +To have strayed, for a moment, to either side, would have brought upon +me his blows. That he did not instantly resort to violence inspired me +with courage, since it depended on myself whether food should be +supplied to his passion. Rage must either progress or decline; and, +since it was in total want of provocation, it could not fail of +gradually subsiding. + +My demeanour was calculated to damp the flame, not only by its direct +influence, but by diverting his attention from the wrongs which he had +received, to the novelty of my behaviour. The disparity in size and +strength between us was too evident to make him believe that I confided +in my sinews for my defence; and, since I betrayed neither contempt nor +fear, he could not but conclude that I trusted to my own integrity or to +his moderation. I seized the first pause in his rhetoric to enforce this +sentiment. + +"You are angry, Mr. Hadwin, and are loud in your threats; but they do +not frighten me. They excite no apprehension or alarm, because I know +myself able to convince you that I have not injured you. This is an inn, +and I am your guest. I am sure I shall find better entertainment than +blows. Come," continued I, smiling, "it is possible that I am not so +mischievous a wretch as your fancy paints me. I have no claims upon your +niece but that of friendship, and she is now in the house of an honest +man, Mr. Curling, where she proposes to continue as long as is +convenient. + +"It is true that your brother left a will, which his daughter burnt in +my presence, because she dreaded the authority which that will gave you, +not only over her property, but person. It is true that on leaving the +house she took away the money which was now her own, and which was +necessary to subsistence. It is true that I bore her company, and have +left her in an honest man's keeping. I am answerable for nothing more. +As to you, I meant not to injure you; I advised not the burning of the +will. I was a stranger, till after that event, to your character. I knew +neither good nor ill of you. I came to tell you all this, because, as +Eliza's uncle, you had a right to the information." + +"So! you come to tell me that she burnt the will, and is going to +administer--to what, I beseech you? To her father's property? Ay, I +warrant you. But take this along with you:--that property is mine; land, +house, stock, every thing. All is safe and snug under cover of a +mortgage, to which Billy was kind enough to add a bond. One was sued, +and the other _entered up_, a week ago. So that all is safe under my +thumb, and the girl may whistle or starve for me. I shall give myself no +concern about the strumpet. You thought to get a prize; but, damn me, +you've met with your match in me. Phil Haddin's not so easily choused, I +promise you. I intended to give you this news, and a drubbing into the +bargain; but you may go, and make haste. She burnt the will, did she, +because I was named in it,--and sent you to tell me so? Good souls! It +was kind of you, and I am bound to be thankful. Take her back news of +the mortgage; and, as for you, leave my house. You may go scot-free this +time; but I pledge my word for a sound beating when you next enter these +doors. I'll pay it to you with interest. Leave my house, I say!" + +"A mortgage," said I, in a low voice, and affecting not to hear his +commands; "that will be sad news for my friend. Why, sir, you are a +fortunate man. Malverton is an excellent spot; well watered and manured; +newly and completely fenced; not a larger barn in the county; oxen and +horses and cows in the best order; I never set eyes on a finer orchard. +By my faith, sir, you are a fortunate man. But, pray, what have you for +dinner? I am hungry as a wolf. Order me a beef-steak, and some potation +or other. The bottle there,--it is cider, I take it; pray, push it to +this side." Saying this, I stretched out my hand towards the bottle +which stood before him. + +I confided in the power of a fearless and sedate manner. Methought +that, as anger was the food of anger, it must unavoidably subside in a +contest with equability. This opinion was intuitive, rather than the +product of experience, and perhaps I gave no proof of my sagacity in +hazarding my safety on its truth. Hadwin's character made him dreaded +and obeyed by all. He had been accustomed to ready and tremulous +submission from men far more brawny and robust than I was, and to find +his most vehement menaces and gestures totally ineffectual on a being so +slender and diminutive at once wound up his rage and excited his +astonishment. One motion counteracted and suspended the other. He lifted +his hand, but delayed to strike. One blow, applied with his usual +dexterity, was sufficient to destroy me. Though seemingly careless, I +was watchful of his motions, and prepared to elude the stroke by +shrinking or stooping. Meanwhile, I stretched my hand far enough to +seize the bottle, and, pouring its contents into a tumbler, put it to my +lips:-- + +"Come, sir, I drink your health, and wish you speedy possession of +Malverton. I have some interest with Eliza, and will prevail on her to +forbear all opposition and complaint. Why should she complain? While I +live, she shall not be a beggar. No doubt your claim is legal, and +therefore ought to be admitted. What the law gave, the law has taken +away. Blessed be the dispensers of law! Excellent cider! open another +bottle, will you, and, I beseech, hasten dinner, if you would not see me +devour the table." + +It was just, perhaps, to conjure up the demon avarice to fight with the +demon anger. Reason alone would, in such a contest, be powerless, but, +in truth, I spoke without artifice or disguise. If his claim were legal, +opposition would be absurd and pernicious. I meant not to rely upon his +own assertions, and would not acknowledge the validity of his claim till +I had inspected the deed. Having instituted suits, this was now in a +public office, and there the inspection should be made. Meanwhile, no +reason could be urged why I should part from him in anger, while his +kindred to Eliza, and his title to her property, made it useful to +secure his favour. It was possible to obtain a remission of his claims, +even when the law enforced them; it would be imprudent at least to +diminish the chances of remission by fostering his wrath and provoking +his enmity. + +"What!" he exclaimed, in a transport of fury, "a'n't I master of my own +house? Out, I say!" + +These were harsh terms, but they were not accompanied by gestures and +tones so menacing as those which had before been used. It was plain that +the tide, which so lately threatened my destruction, had begun to +recede. This encouraged me to persist. + +"Be not alarmed, my good friend," said I, placidly and smiling. "A man +of your bone need not fear a pigmy like me. I shall scarcely be able to +dethrone you in your own castle, with an army of hostlers, tapsters, and +cooks at your beck. You shall still be master here, provided you use +your influence to procure me a dinner." + +His acquiescence in a pacific system was extremely reluctant and +gradual. He laid aside one sullen tone and wrathful look after the +other; and, at length, consented not only to supply me with a dinner, +but to partake of it with me. Nothing was more a topic of surprise to +himself than his forbearance. He knew not how it was. He had never been +treated so before. He was not proof against entreaty and submission; but +I had neither supplicated nor submitted. The stuff that I was made of +was at once damnably tough and devilishly pliant. When he thought of my +impudence, in staying in his house after he had bade me leave it, he was +tempted to resume his passion. When he reflected on my courage, in +making light of his anger, notwithstanding his known impetuosity and my +personal inferiority, he could not withhold his esteem. But my patience +under his rebukes, my unalterable equanimity, and my ready consent to +the validity of his claims, soothed and propitiated him. + +An exemption from blows and abuse was all that I could gain from this +man. I told him the truth, with regard to my own history, so far as it +was connected with the Hadwins. I exhibited, in affecting colours, the +helpless condition of Eliza; but could extort from him nothing but his +consent that, if she chose, she might come and live with him. He would +give her victuals and clothes for so much house-work as she was able to +do. If she chose to live elsewhere, he promised not to molest her, or +intermeddle in her concerns. The house and land were his by law, and he +would have them. + +It was not my province to revile or expostulate with him. I stated what +measures would be adopted by a man who regarded the interest of others +more than his own; who was anxious for the welfare of an innocent girl, +connected with him so closely by the ties of kindred, and who was +destitute of what is called natural friends. If he did not cancel, for +her sake, his bond and mortgage, he would, at least, afford her a frugal +maintenance. He would extend to her, in all emergencies, his counsel and +protection. + +All that, he said, was sheer nonsense. He could not sufficiently wonder +at my folly, in proposing to him to make a free gift of a hundred rich +acres, to a girl too who scarcely knew her right hand from her left; +whom the first cunning young rogue like myself would _chouse_ out of the +whole, and take herself into the bargain. But my folly was even +surpassed by my impudence, since, as the _friend_ of this girl, I was +merely petitioning on my own account. I had come to him, whom I never +saw before, on whom I had no claim, and who, as I well knew, had reason +to think me a sharper, and modestly said, "Here's a girl who has no +fortune. I am greatly in want of one. Pray, give her such an estate that +you have in your possession. If you do, I'll marry her, and take it into +my own hands." I might be thankful that he did not answer such a +petition with a horse-whipping. But if he did not give her his estate, +he might extend to her, forsooth, his counsel and protection. "That I've +offered to do," continued he. "She may come and live in my house, if she +will. She may do some of the family work. I'll discharge the chambermaid +to make room for her. Lizzy, if I remember right, has a pretty face. She +can't have a better market for it than as chambermaid to an inn. If she +minds her p's and q's she may make up a handsome sum at the year's end." + +I thought it time to break off the conference; and, my dinner being +finished, took my leave, leaving behind me the character of _a queer +sort of chap_. I speeded to the prothonotary's office, which was kept in +the village, and quickly ascertained the truth of Hadwin's pretensions. +There existed a mortgage, with bond and warrant of attorney, to so great +an amount as would swallow up every thing at Malverton. Furnished with +these tidings, I prepared, with a drooping heart, to return to Mr. +Curling's. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIV. + + +This incident necessarily produced a change in my views with regard to +my friend. Her fortune consisted of a few hundreds of dollars, which, +frugally administered, might procure decent accommodation in the +country. When this was consumed, she must find subsistence in tending +the big wheel or the milk-pail, unless fortune should enable me to place +her in a more favourable situation. This state was, in some respects, +but little different from that in which she had spent the former part of +her life; but, in her father's house, these employments were dignified +by being, in some degree, voluntary, and relieved by frequent intervals +of recreation and leisure. Now they were likely to prove irksome and +servile, in consequence of being performed for hire and imposed by +necessity. Equality, parental solicitudes, and sisterly endearments, +would be wanting to lighten the yoke. + +These inconveniences, however, were imaginary. This was the school in +which fortitude and independence were to be learned. Habit, and the +purity of rural manners, would, likewise, create anew those ties which +death had dissolved. The affections of parent and sister would be +supplied by the fonder and more rational attachments of friendship. +These toils were not detrimental to beauty or health. What was to be +dreaded from them was their tendency to quench the spirit of liberal +curiosity; to habituate the person to bodily, rather than intellectual, +exertions; to supersede and create indifference or aversion to the only +instruments of rational improvement, the pen and the book. + +This evil, however, was at some distance from Eliza. Her present abode +was quiet and serene. Here she might enjoy domestic pleasures and +opportunities of mental improvement for the coming twelvemonth at least. +This period would, perhaps, be sufficient for the formation of studious +habits. What schemes should be adopted for this end would be determined +by the destiny to which I myself should be reserved. + +My path was already chalked out, and my fancy now pursued it with +uncommon pleasure. To reside in your family; to study your profession; +to pursue some subordinate or casual mode of industry, by which I might +purchase leisure for medical pursuits, for social recreations, and for +the study of mankind on your busy and thronged stage, was the scope of +my wishes. This destiny would not hinder punctual correspondence and +occasional visits to Eliza. Her pen might be called into action, and her +mind be awakened by books, and every hour be made to add to her stores +of knowledge and enlarge the bounds of her capacity. + +I was spiritless and gloomy when I left ----; but reflections on my +future lot, and just views of the situation of my friend, insensibly +restored my cheerfulness. I arrived at Mr. Curling's in the evening, and +hastened to impart to Eliza the issue of my commission. It gave her +uneasiness, merely as it frustrated the design, on which she had fondly +mused, of residing in the city. She was somewhat consoled by my promises +of being her constant correspondent and occasional visitor. + +Next morning I set out on my journey hither, on foot. The way was not +long; the weather, though cold, was wholesome and serene. My spirits +were high, and I saw nothing in the world before me but sunshine and +prosperity. I was conscious that my happiness depended not on the +revolutions of nature or the caprice of man. All without was, indeed, +vicissitude and uncertainty; but within my bosom was a centre not to be +shaken or removed. My purposes were honest and steadfast. Every sense +was the inlet of pleasure, because it was the avenue of knowledge; and +my soul brooded over the world to ideas, and glowed with exultation at +the grandeur and beauty of its own creations. + +This felicity was too rapturous to be of long duration. I gradually +descended from these heights; and the remembrance of past incidents, +connected with the images of your family, to which I was returning, led +my thoughts into a different channel. Welbeck and the unhappy girl whom +he had betrayed; Mrs. Villars and Wallace, were recollected anew. The +views which I had formed, for determining the fate and affording +assistance to Clemenza, were recalled. My former resolutions with regard +to her had been suspended by the uncertainty in which the fate of the +Hadwins was, at that time, wrapped. Had it not become necessary wholly +to lay aside these resolutions? + +That, indeed, was an irksome conclusion. No wonder that I struggled to +repel it; that I fostered the doubt whether money was the only +instrument of benefit; whether caution, and fortitude, and knowledge, +were not the genuine preservatives from evil. Had I not the means in my +hands of dispelling her fatal ignorance of Welbeck and of those with +whom she resided? Was I not authorized, by my previous though slender +intercourse, to seek her presence? + +Suppose I should enter Mrs. Villars's house, desire to be introduced to +the lady, accost her with affectionate simplicity, and tell her the +truth? Why be anxious to smooth the way? why deal in apologies, +circuities, and innuendoes? All these are feeble and perverse +refinements, unworthy of an honest purpose and an erect spirit. To +believe her inaccessible to my visit was absurd. To wait for the +permission of those whose interest it might be to shut out visitants was +cowardice. This was an infringement of her liberty which equity and law +equally condemned. By what right could she be restrained from +intercourse with others? Doors and passages may be between her and me. +With a purpose such as mine, no one had a right to close the one or +obstruct the other. Away with cowardly reluctances and clownish +scruples, and let me hasten this moment to her dwelling. + +Mrs. Villars is the portress of the mansion. She will probably present +herself before me, and demand the reason of my visit. What shall I say +to her? The truth. To falter, or equivocate, or dissemble to this woman +would be wicked. Perhaps her character has been misunderstood and +maligned. Can I render her a greater service than to apprize her of the +aspersions that have rested on it, and afford her the opportunity of +vindication? Perhaps she is indeed selfish and profligate; the betrayer +of youth and the agent of lasciviousness. Does she not deserve to know +the extent of her errors and the ignominy of her trade? Does she not +merit the compassion of the good and the rebukes of the wise? To shrink +from the task would prove me cowardly and unfirm. Thus far, at least, +let my courage extend. + +Alas! Clemenza is unacquainted with my language. My thoughts cannot make +themselves apparent but by words, and to my words she will be able to +affix no meaning. Yet is not that a hasty decision? The version from the +dramas of Zeno which I found in her toilet was probably hers, and proves +her to have a speculative knowledge of our tongue. Near half a year has +since elapsed, during which she has dwelt with talkers of English, and +consequently could not fail to have acquired it. This conclusion is +somewhat dubious, but experiment will give it certainty. + +Hitherto I had strolled along the path at a lingering pace. Time enough, +methought, to reach your threshold between sunrise and moonlight, if my +way had been three times longer than it was. You were the pleasing +phantom that hovered before me and beckoned me forward. What a total +revolution had occurred in the course of a few seconds! for thus long +did my reasonings with regard to Clemenza and the Villars require to +pass through my understanding, and escape, in half-muttered soliloquy, +from my lips. My muscles trembled with eagerness, and I bounded forward +with impetuosity. I saw nothing but a vista of catalpas, leafless, +loaded with icicles, and terminating in four chimneys and a painted +roof. My fancy outstripped my footsteps, and was busy in picturing faces +and rehearsing dialogues. Presently I reached this new object of my +pursuit, darted through the avenue, noticed that some windows of the +house were unclosed, drew thence a hasty inference that the house was +not without inhabitants, and knocked, quickly and loudly, for admission. + +Some one within crept to the door, opened it with seeming caution, and +just far enough to allow the face to be seen. It was the timid, pale, +and unwashed face of a girl who was readily supposed to be a servant, +taken from a cottage, and turned into a bringer of wood and water and a +scourer of tubs and trenches. She waited in timorous silence the +delivery of my message. Was Mrs. Villars at home? + +"No; she has gone to town." + +Were any of her daughters within? + +She could not tell; she believed--she thought--which did I want? Miss +Hetty or Miss Sally? + +"Let me see Miss Hetty." Saying this, I pushed gently against the door. +The girl, half reluctant, yielded way; I entered the passage, and, +putting my hand on the lock of a door that seemed to lead into a +parlour,--"Is Miss Hetty in this room?" + +No; there was nobody there. + +"Go call her, then. Tell her there is one who wishes to see her on +important business. I will wait for her coming in this room." So saying, +I opened the door, and entered the apartment, while the girl withdrew to +perform my message. + +The parlour was spacious and expensively furnished, but an air of +negligence and disorder was everywhere visible. The carpet was wrinkled +and unswept; a clock on the table, in a glass frame, so streaked and +spotted with dust as scarcely to be transparent, and the index +motionless, and pointing at four instead of nine; embers scattered on +the marble hearth, and tongs lying on the fender with the handle in the +ashes; a harpsichord, uncovered, one end loaded with _scores_, tumbled +together in a heap, and the other with volumes of novels and plays, some +on their edges, some on their backs, gaping open by the scorching of +their covers; rent; blurred; stained; blotted; dog-eared; tables awry; +chairs crowding each other; in short, no object but indicated the +neglect or the ignorance of domestic neatness and economy. + +My leisure was employed in surveying these objects, and in listening +for the approach of Miss Hetty. Some minutes elapsed, and no one came. A +reason for delay was easily imagined, and I summoned patience to wait. I +opened a book; touched the instrument; surveyed the vases on the +mantel-tree; the figures on the hangings, and the print of Apollo and +the Sibyl, taken from Salvator, and hung over the chimney. I eyed my own +shape and garb in the mirror, and asked how my rustic appearance would +be regarded by that supercilious and voluptuous being to whom I was +about to present myself. + +Presently the latch of the door was softly moved: it opened, and the +simpleton, before described, appeared. She spoke, but her voice was so +full of hesitation, and so near a whisper, that much attention was +needed to make out her words:--Miss Hetty was not at home; she was gone +to town with her _mistress_. + +This was a tale not to be credited. How was I to act? She persisted in +maintaining the truth of it.--"Well, then," said I, at length, "tell +Miss Sally that I wish to speak with her. She will answer my purpose +just as well." + +Miss Sally was not at home neither. She had gone to town too. They would +not be back, she did not know when; not till night, she supposed. It was +so indeed; none of them wasn't at home; none but she and Nanny in the +kitchen: indeed there wasn't. + +"Go tell Nanny to come here; I will leave my message with her." She +withdrew, but Nanny did not receive the summons, or thought proper not +to obey it. All was vacant and still. + +My state was singular and critical. It was absurd to prolong it; but to +leave the house with my errand unexecuted would argue imbecility and +folly. To ascertain Clemenza's presence in this house, and to gain an +interview, were yet in my power. Had I not boasted of my intrepidity in +braving denials and commands when they endeavoured to obstruct my +passage to this woman? But here were no obstacles nor prohibition. +Suppose the girl had said truth, that the matron and her daughters were +absent, and that Nanny and herself were the only guardians of the +mansion. So much the better. My design will not be opposed. I have only +to mount the stair, and go from one room to another till I find what I +seek. + +There was hazard, as well as plausibility, in this scheme. I thought it +best once more to endeavour to extort information from the girl, and +persuade her to be my guide to whomsoever the house contained. I put my +hand to the bell and rung a brisk peal. No one came. I passed into the +entry, to the foot of a staircase, and to a back-window. Nobody was +within hearing or sight. + +Once more I reflected on the rectitude of my intentions, on the +possibility that the girl's assertions might be true, on the benefits of +expedition, and of gaining access to the object of my visit without +interruption or delay. To these considerations was added a sort of +charm, not easily explained, and by no means justifiable, produced by +the very temerity and hazardness accompanying this attempt. I thought, +with scornful emotions, on the bars and hinderances which pride, and +caprice, and delusive maxims of decorum, raise in the way of human +intercourse. I spurned at these semblances and substitutes of honesty, +and delighted to shake such fetters into air and trample such +impediments to dust. I wanted to see a human being, in order to promote +her happiness. It was doubtful whether she was within twenty paces of +the spot where I stood. The doubt was to be solved. How? By examining +the space. I forthwith proceeded to examine it. I reached the second +story. I approached a door that was closed. I knocked. After a pause, a +soft voice said, "Who is there?" + +The accents were as musical as those of Clemenza, but were in other +respects different. I had no topic to discuss with this person. I +answered not, yet hesitated to withdraw. Presently the same voice was +again heard:--"What is it you want? Why don't you answer? Come in!" I +complied with the command, and entered the room. + +It was deliberation and foresight that led me hither, and not chance or +caprice. Hence, instead of being disconcerted or vanquished by the +objects that I saw, I was tranquil and firm. My curiosity, however, made +me a vigilant observer. Two females, arrayed with voluptuous negligence, +in a manner adapted to the utmost seclusion, and seated in a careless +attitude on a sofa, were now discovered. + +Both darted glances at the door. One, who appeared to be the youngest, +no sooner saw me, than she shrieked, and, starting from her seat, +betrayed in the looks which she successively cast upon me, on herself, +and on the chamber, whose apparatus was in no less confusion than that +of the apartment below, her consciousness of the unseasonableness of +this meeting. + +The other shrieked likewise, but in her it seemed to be the token of +surprise rather than that of terror. There was, probably, somewhat in my +aspect and garb that suggested an apology for this intrusion, as arising +from simplicity and mistake. She thought proper, however, to assume the +air of one offended, and, looking sternly,--"How now, fellow," said she, +"what is this? Why come you hither?" + +This questioner was of mature age, but had not passed the period of +attractiveness and grace. All the beauty that nature had bestowed was +still retained, but the portion had never been great. What she possessed +was so modelled and embellished by such a carriage and dress as to give +it most power over the senses of the gazer. In proportion, however, as +it was intended and adapted to captivate those who know none but +physical pleasures, it was qualified to breed distaste and aversion in +me. + +I am sensible how much error may have lurked in this decision. I had +brought with me the belief of their being unchaste; and seized, perhaps +with too much avidity, any appearance that coincided with my +prepossessions. Yet the younger by no means inspired the same disgust; +though I had no reason to suppose her more unblemished than the elder. +Her modesty seemed unaffected, and was by no means satisfied, like that +of the elder, with defeating future curiosity. The consciousness of what +had already been exposed filled her with confusion, and she would have +flown away, if her companion had not detained her by some degree of +force. "What ails the girl? There's nothing to be frightened at. +Fellow!" she repeated, "what brings you here?" + +I advanced and stood before them. I looked steadfastly, but, I believe, +with neither effrontery nor anger, on the one who addressed me. I spoke +in a tone serious and emphatical. "I come for the sake of speaking to a +woman who formerly resided in this house, and probably resides here +still. Her name is Clemenza Lodi. If she be here, I request you to +conduct me to her instantly." + +Methought I perceived some inquietude, a less imperious and more +inquisitive air, in this woman, on hearing the name of Clemenza. It was +momentary, and gave way to peremptory looks. "What is your business with +her? And why did you adopt this mode of inquiry? A very extraordinary +intrusion! Be good enough to leave the chamber. Any questions proper to +be answered will be answered below." + +"I meant not to intrude or offend. It was not an idle or impertinent +motive that led me hither. I waited below for some time after soliciting +an audience of you through the servant. She assured me you were absent, +and laid me under the necessity of searching for Clemenza Lodi myself, +and without a guide. I am anxious to withdraw, and request merely to be +directed to the room which she occupies." + +"I direct you," replied she, in a more resolute tone, "to quit the room +and the house." + +"Impossible, madam," I replied, still looking at her earnestly; "leave +the house without seeing her! You might as well enjoin me to pull the +Andes on my head!--to walk barefoot to Pekin! Impossible!" + +Some solicitude was now mingled with her anger. "This is strange +insolence! unaccountable behaviour!--begone from my room! will you +compel me to call the gentlemen?" + +"Be not alarmed," said I, with augmented mildness. There was, indeed, +compassion and sorrow at my heart, and these must have somewhat +influenced my looks. "Be not alarmed. I came to confer a benefit, not to +perpetrate an injury. I came not to censure or expostulate with you, +but merely to counsel and aid a being that needs both; all I want is to +see her. In this chamber I sought not you, but her. Only lead me to her, +or tell me where she is. I will then rid you of my presence." + +"Will you compel me to call those who will punish this insolence as it +deserves?" + +"Dearest madam! I compel you to nothing. I merely supplicate. I would +ask you to lead me to these gentlemen, if I did not know that there are +none but females in the house. It is you who must receive and comply +with my petition. Allow me a moment's interview with Clemenza Lodi. +Compliance will harm you not, but will benefit her. What is your +objection?" + +"This is the strangest proceeding! the most singular conduct! Is this a +place fit to parley with you? I warn you of the consequence of staying a +moment longer. Depend upon it, you will sorely repent it." + +"You are obdurate," said I, and turned towards the younger, who listened +to this discourse in tremors and panic. I took her hand with an air of +humility and reverence. "Here," said I, "there seems to be purity, +innocence, and condescension. I took this house to be the temple of +voluptuousness. Females I expected to find in it, but such only as +traded in licentious pleasures; specious, perhaps not destitute of +talents, beauty, and address, but dissolute and wanton, sensual and +avaricious; yet in this countenance and carriage there are tokens of +virtue. I am born to be deceived, and the semblance of modesty is +readily assumed. Under this veil, perhaps, lurk a tainted heart and +depraved appetites. Is it so?" + +She made me no answer, but somewhat in her looks seemed to evince that +my favourable prepossessions were just. I noticed likewise that the +alarm of the elder was greatly increased by this address to her +companion. The thought suddenly occurred that this girl might be in +circumstances not unlike those of Clemenza Lodi; that she was not +apprized of the character of her associates, and might by this meeting +be rescued from similar evils. + +This suspicion filled me with tumultuous feelings. Clemenza was for a +time forgotten. I paid no attention to the looks or demeanour of the +elder, but was wholly occupied in gazing on the younger. My anxiety to +know the truth gave pathos and energy to my tones while I spoke:-- + +"Who, where, what are you? Do you reside in this house? Are you a sister +or daughter in this family, or merely a visitant? Do you know the +character, profession, and views of your companions? Do you deem them +virtuous, or know them to be profligate? Speak! tell me, I beseech you!" + +The maiden confusion which had just appeared in the countenance of this +person now somewhat abated. She lifted her eyes, and glanced by turns at +me and at her who sat by her side. An air of serious astonishment +overspread her features, and she seemed anxious for me to proceed. The +elder, meanwhile, betrayed the utmost alarm, again upbraided my +audacity, commanded me to withdraw, and admonished me of the danger I +incurred by lingering. + +I noticed not her interference, but again entreated to know of the +younger her true state. She had no time to answer me, supposing her not +to want the inclination, for every pause was filled by the clamorous +importunities and menaces of the other. I began to perceive that my +attempts were useless to this end, but the chief and most estimable +purpose was attainable. It was in my power to state the knowledge I +possessed, through your means, of Mrs. Villars and her daughters. This +information might be superfluous, since she to whom it was given might +be one of this licentious family. The contrary, however, was not +improbable, and my tidings, therefore, might be of the utmost moment to +her safety. + +A resolute and even impetuous manner reduced my incessant interrupter to +silence. What I had to say, I compressed in a few words, and adhered to +perspicuity and candour with the utmost care. I still held the hand that +I had taken, and fixed my eyes upon her countenance with a steadfastness +that hindered her from lifting her eyes. + +"I know you not; whether you be dissolute or chaste, I cannot tell. In +either case, however, what I am going to say will be useful. Let me +faithfully repeat what I have heard. It is mere rumour, and I vouch not +for its truth. Rumour as it is, I submit it to your judgment, and hope +that it may guide you into paths of innocence and honour. + +"Mrs. Villars and her three daughters are Englishwomen, who supported +for a time an unblemished reputation, but who, at length, were suspected +of carrying on the trade of prostitution. This secret could not be +concealed forever. The profligates who frequented their house betrayed +them. One of them, who died under their roof, after they had withdrawn +from it into the country, disclosed to his kinsman, who attended his +death-bed, their genuine character. + +"The dying man likewise related incidents in which I am deeply +concerned. I have been connected with one by name Welbeck. In his house +I met an unfortunate girl, who was afterwards removed to Mrs. Villars's. +Her name was Clemenza Lodi. Residence in this house, under the control +of a woman like Mrs. Villars and her daughters, must be injurious to her +innocence, and from this control I now come to rescue her." + +I turned to the elder, and continued,--"By all that is sacred, I adjure +you to tell me whether Clemenza Lodi be under this roof! If she be not, +whither has she gone? To know this I came hither, and any difficulty or +reluctance in answering will be useless; till an answer be obtained, I +will not go hence." + +During this speech, anger had been kindling in the bosom of this woman. +It now burst upon me in a torrent of opprobrious epithets. I was a +villain, a calumniator, a thief. I had lurked about the house, till +those whose sex and strength enabled them to cope with me had gone. I +had entered these doors by fraud. I was a wretch, guilty of the last +excesses of insolence and insult. + +To repel these reproaches, or endure them, was equally useless. The +satisfaction that I sought was only to be gained by searching the house. +I left the room without speaking. Did I act illegally in passing from +one story and one room to another? Did I really deserve the imputations +of rashness and insolence? My behaviour, I well know, was ambiguous and +hazardous, and perhaps wanting in discretion, but my motives were +unquestionably pure. I aimed at nothing but the rescue of a human +creature from distress and dishonour. + +I pretend not to the wisdom of experience and age; to the praise of +forethought or subtlety. I choose the obvious path, and pursue it with +headlong expedition. Good intentions, unaided by knowledge, will, +perhaps, produce more injury than benefit, and therefore knowledge must +be gained, but the acquisition is not momentary; is not bestowed unasked +and untoiled for. Meanwhile, we must not be inactive because we are +ignorant. Our good purposes must hurry to performance, whether our +knowledge be greater or less. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXV. + + +To explore the house in this manner was so contrary to ordinary rules, +that the design was probably wholly unsuspected by the women whom I had +just left. My silence, at parting, might have been ascribed by them to +the intimidating influence of invectives and threats. Hence I proceeded +in my search without interruption. + +Presently I reached a front chamber in the third story. The door was +ajar. I entered it on tiptoe. Sitting on a low chair by the fire, I +beheld a female figure, dressed in a negligent but not indecent manner. +Her face, in the posture in which she sat, was only half seen. Its hues +were sickly and pale, and in mournful unison with a feeble and emaciated +form. Her eyes were fixed upon a babe that lay stretched upon a pillow +at her feet. The child, like its mother, for such she was readily +imagined to be, was meagre and cadaverous. Either it was dead, or could +not be very distant from death. + +The features of Clemenza were easily recognised, though no contrast +could be greater, in habit and shape and complexion, than that which her +present bore to her former appearance. All her roses had faded, and her +brilliancies vanished. Still, however, there was somewhat fitted to +awaken the tenderest emotions. There were tokens of inconsolable +distress. + +Her attention was wholly absorbed by the child. She lifted not her eyes +till I came close to her and stood before her. When she discovered me, a +faint start was perceived. She looked at me for a moment, then, putting +one spread hand before her eyes, she stretched out the other towards the +door, and waving it in silence, as if to admonish me to depart. + +This motion, however emphatical, I could not obey. I wished to obtain +her attention, but knew not in what words to claim it. I was silent. In +a moment she removed her hand from her eyes, and looked at me with new +eagerness. Her features bespoke emotions which, perhaps, flowed from my +likeness to her brother, joined with the memory of my connection with +Welbeck. + +My situation was full of embarrassment. I was by no means certain that +my language would be understood. I knew not in what light the policy and +dissimulation of Welbeck might have taught her to regard me. What +proposal, conducive to her comfort and her safety, could I make to her? + +Once more she covered her eyes, and exclaimed, in a feeble voice, "Go +away! begone!" + +As if satisfied with this effort, she resumed her attention to her +child. She stooped and lifted it in her arms, gazing, meanwhile, on its +almost lifeless features with intense anxiety. She crushed it to her +bosom, and, again looking at me, repeated, "Go away! go away! begone!" + +There was somewhat in the lines of her face, in her tones and gestures, +that pierced to my heart. Added to this, was my knowledge of her +condition; her friendlessness; her poverty; the pangs of unrequited +love; and her expiring infant. I felt my utterance choked, and my tears +struggling for passage. I turned to the window, and endeavoured to +regain my tranquillity. + +"What was it," said I, "that brought me hither? The perfidy of Welbeck +must surely have long since been discovered. What can I tell her of the +Villars which she does not already know, or of which the knowledge will +be useful? If their treatment has been just, why should I detract from +their merit? If it has been otherwise, their own conduct will have +disclosed their genuine character. Though voluptuous themselves, it does +not follow that they have laboured to debase this creature. Though +wanton, they may not be inhuman. + +"I can propose no change in her condition for the better. Should she be +willing to leave this house, whither is it in my power to conduct her? +Oh that I were rich enough to provide food for the hungry, shelter for +the houseless, and raiment for the naked!" + +I was roused from these fruitless reflections by the lady, whom some +sudden thought induced to place the child in its bed, and, rising, to +come towards me. The utter dejection which her features lately betrayed +was now changed for an air of anxious curiosity. "Where," said she, in +her broken English,--"where is Signor Welbeck?" + +"Alas!" returned I, "I know not. That question might, I thought, with +more propriety be put to you than me." + +"I know where he be; I fear where he be." + +So saying, the deepest sighs burst from her heart. She turned from me, +and, going to the child, took it again into her lap. Its pale and sunken +cheek was quickly wet with the mother's tears, which, as she silently +hung over it, dropped fast from her eyes. + +This demeanour could not but awaken curiosity, while it gave a new turn +to my thoughts. I began to suspect that in the tokens which I saw there +was not only distress for her child, but concern for the fate of +Welbeck. "Know you," said I, "where Mr. Welbeck is? Is he alive? Is he +near? Is he in calamity?" + +"I do not know if he be alive. He be sick. He be in prison. They will +not let me go to him. And"--here her attention and mine was attracted by +the infant, whose frame, till now motionless, began to be tremulous. Its +features sunk into a more ghastly expression. Its breathings were +difficult, and every effort to respire produced a convulsion harder than +the last. + +The mother easily interpreted these tokens. The same mortal struggle +seemed to take place in her features as in those of her child. At length +her agony found way in a piercing shriek. The struggle in the infant was +past. Hope looked in vain for a new motion in its heart or its eyelids. +The lips were closed, and its breath was gone forever! + +The grief which overwhelmed the unhappy parent was of that outrageous +and desperate kind which is wholly incompatible with thinking. A few +incoherent motions and screams, that rent the soul, were followed by a +deep swoon. She sunk upon the floor, pale and lifeless as her babe. + +I need not describe the pangs which such a scene was adapted to produce +in me. These were rendered more acute by the helpless and ambiguous +situation in which I was placed. I was eager to bestow consolation and +succour, but was destitute of all means. I was plunged into +uncertainties and doubts. I gazed alternately at the infant and its +mother. I sighed. I wept. I even sobbed. I stooped down and took the +lifeless hand of the sufferer. I bathed it with my tears, and exclaimed, +"Ill-fated woman! unhappy mother! what shall I do for thy relief? How +shall I blunt the edge of this calamity, and rescue thee from new +evils?" + +At this moment the door of the apartment was opened, and the younger of +the women whom I had seen below entered. Her looks betrayed the deepest +consternation and anxiety. Her eyes in a moment were fixed by the +decayed form and the sad features of Clemenza. She shuddered at this +spectacle, but was silent. She stood in the midst of the floor, +fluctuating and bewildered. I dropped the hand that I was holding, and +approached her. + +"You have come," said I, "in good season. I know you not, but will +believe you to be good. You have a heart, it may be, not free from +corruption, but it is still capable of pity for the miseries of others. +You have a hand that refuses not its aid to the unhappy. See; there is +an infant dead. There is a mother whom grief has, for a time, deprived +of life. She has been oppressed and betrayed; been robbed of property +and reputation--but not of innocence. She is worthy of relief. Have you +arms to receive her? Have you sympathy, protection, and a home to bestow +upon a forlorn, betrayed, and unhappy stranger? I know not what this +house is; I suspect it to be no better than a brothel. I know not what +treatment this woman has received. When her situation and wants are +ascertained, will you supply her wants? Will you rescue her from evils +that may attend her continuance here?" + +She was disconcerted and bewildered by this address. At length she +said, "All that has happened, all that I have heard and seen, is so +unexpected, so strange, that I am amazed and distracted. Your behaviour +I cannot comprehend, nor your motive for making this address to me. I +cannot answer you, except in one respect. If this woman has suffered +injury, I have had no part in it. I knew not of her existence nor her +situation till this moment; and whatever protection or assistance she +may justly claim, I am both able and willing to bestow. I do not live +here, but in the city. I am only an occasional visitant in this house." + +"What, then!" I exclaimed, with sparkling eyes and a rapturous accent, +"you are not profligate; are a stranger to the manners of this house, +and a detester of these manners? Be not a deceiver, I entreat you. I +depend only on your looks and professions, and these may be dissembled." + +These questions, which indeed argued a childish simplicity, excited her +surprise. She looked at me, uncertain whether I was in earnest or in +jest. At length she said, "Your language is so singular, that I am at a +loss how to answer it. I shall take no pains to find out its meaning, +but leave you to form conjectures at leisure. Who is this woman, and how +can I serve her?" After a pause, she continued:--"I cannot afford her +any immediate assistance, and shall not stay a moment longer in this +house. There" (putting a card in my hand) "is my name and place of +abode. If you shall have any proposals to make, respecting this woman, I +shall be ready to receive them in my own house." So saying, she +withdrew. + +I looked wistfully after her, but could not but assent to her assertion, +that her presence here would be more injurious to her than beneficial to +Clemenza. She had scarcely gone, when the elder woman entered. There was +rage, sullenness, and disappointment in her aspect. These, however, were +suspended by the situation in which she discovered the mother and child. +It was plain that all the sentiments of woman were not extinguished in +her heart. She summoned the servants and seemed preparing to take such +measures as the occasion prescribed. I now saw the folly of supposing +that these measures would be neglected, and that my presence could not +essentially contribute to the benefit of the sufferer. Still, however, I +lingered in the room, till the infant was covered with a cloth, and the +still senseless parent was conveyed into an adjoining chamber. The woman +then, as if she had not seen me before, fixed scowling eyes upon me, and +exclaimed, "Thief! villain! why do you stay here?" + +"I mean to go," said I, "but not till I express my gratitude and +pleasure at the sight of your attention to this sufferer. You deem me +insolent and perverse, but I am not such; and hope that the day will +come when I shall convince you of my good intentions." + +"Begone!" interrupted she, in a more angry tone. "Begone this moment, or +I will treat you as a thief." She now drew forth her hand from under her +gown, and showed a pistol. "You shall see," she continued, "that I will +not be insulted with impunity. If you do not vanish, I will shoot you as +a robber." + +This woman was far from wanting a force and intrepidity worthy of a +different sex. Her gestures and tones were full of energy. They denoted +a haughty and indignant spirit. It was plain that she conceived herself +deeply injured by my conduct; and was it absolutely certain that her +anger was without reason? I had loaded her house with atrocious +imputations, and these imputations might be false. I had conceived them +upon such evidence as chance had provided; but this evidence, intricate +and dubious as human actions and motives are, might be void of truth. + +"Perhaps," said I, in a sedate tone, "I have injured you; I have +mistaken your character. You shall not find me less ready to repair, +than to perpetrate, this injury. My error was without malice, and----" + +I had not time to finish the sentence, when this rash and enraged woman +thrust the pistol close to my head and fired it. I was wholly unaware +that her fury would lead her to this excess. It was a sort of mechanical +impulse that made me raise my hand and attempt to turn aside the +weapon. I did this deliberately and tranquilly, and without conceiving +that any thing more was intended by her movement than to intimidate me. +To this precaution, however, I was indebted for life. The bullet was +diverted from my forehead to my left ear, and made a slight wound upon +the surface, from which the blood gushed in a stream. + +The loudness of this explosion, and the shock which the ball produced in +my brain, sunk me into a momentary stupor. I reeled backward, and should +have fallen, had not I supported myself against the wall. The sight of +my blood instantly restored her reason. Her rage disappeared, and was +succeeded by terror and remorse. She clasped her hands, and exclaimed, +"Oh! what! what have I done? My frantic passion has destroyed me." + +I needed no long time to show me the full extent of the injury which I +had suffered and the conduct which it became me to adopt. For a moment I +was bewildered and alarmed, but presently perceived that this was an +incident more productive of good than of evil. It would teach me caution +in contending with the passions of another, and showed me that there is +a limit which the impetuosities of anger will sometimes overstep. +Instead of reviling my companion, I addressed myself to her thus:-- + +"Be not frighted. You have done me no injury, and, I hope, will derive +instruction from this event. Your rashness had like to have sacrificed +the life of one who is your friend, and to have exposed yourself to +infamy and death, or, at least, to the pangs of eternal remorse. Learn +from hence to curb your passions, and especially to keep at a distance +from every murderous weapon, on occasions when rage is likely to take +place of reason. + +"I repeat that my motives in entering this house were connected with +your happiness as well as that of Clemenza Lodi. If I have erred in +supposing you the member of a vile and pernicious trade, that error was +worthy of being rectified, but violence and invective tend only to +confirm it. I am incapable of any purpose that is not beneficent; but, +in the means that I use and in the evidence on which I proceed, I am +liable to a thousand mistakes. Point out to me the road by which I can +do you good, and I will cheerfully pursue it." + +Finding that her fears had been groundless as to the consequences of her +rashness, she renewed, though with less vehemence than before, her +imprecations on my intermeddling and audacious folly. I listened till +the storm was nearly exhausted, and then, declaring my intention to +revisit the house if the interest of Clemenza should require it, I +resumed my way to the city. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVI. + + +"Why," said I, as I hasted forward, "is my fortune so abundant in +unforeseen occurrences? Is every man who leaves his cottage and the +impressions of his infancy behind him ushered into such a world of +revolutions and perils as have trammelled my steps? or is my scene +indebted for variety and change to my propensity to look into other +people's concerns, and to make their sorrows and their joys mine? + +"To indulge an adventurous spirit, I left the precincts of the +barn-door, enlisted in the service of a stranger, and encountered a +thousand dangers to my virtue under the disastrous influence of Welbeck. +Afterwards my life was set at hazard in the cause of Wallace, and now am +I loaded with the province of protecting the helpless Eliza Hadwin and +the unfortunate Clemenza. My wishes are fervent, and my powers shall not +be inactive in their defence; but how slender are these powers! + +"In the offers of the unknown lady there is, indeed, some consolation +for Clemenza. It must be my business to lay before my friend Stevens the +particulars of what has befallen me, and to entreat his directions how +this disconsolate girl may be most effectually succoured. It may be wise +to take her from her present abode, and place her under some chaste and +humane guardianship, where she may gradually lose remembrance of her +dead infant and her specious betrayer. The barrier that severs her from +Welbeck must be high as heaven and insuperable as necessity. + +"But, soft! Talked she not of Welbeck? Said she not that he was in +prison and was sick? Poor wretch! I thought thy course was at an end; +that the penalty of guilt no longer weighed down thy heart; that thy +misdeeds and thy remorses were buried in a common and obscure grave; but +it seems thou art still alive. + +"Is it rational to cherish the hope of thy restoration to innocence and +peace? Thou art no obdurate criminal; hadst thou less virtue, thy +compunctions would be less keen. Wert thou deaf to the voice of duty, +thy wanderings into guilt and folly would be less fertile of anguish. +The time will perhaps come, when the measure of thy transgressions and +calamities will overflow, and the folly of thy choice will be too +conspicuous to escape thy discernment. Surely, even for such +transgressors as thou, there is a salutary power in the precepts of +truth and the lessons of experience. + +"But thou art imprisoned and art sick. This, perhaps, is the crisis of +thy destiny. Indigence and dishonour were the evils to shun which thy +integrity and peace of mind have been lightly forfeited. Thou hast found +that the price was given in vain; that the hollow and deceitful +enjoyments of opulence and dignity were not worth the purchase; and +that, frivolous and unsubstantial as they are, the only path that leads +to them is that of honesty and diligence. Thou art in prison and art +sick; and there is none to cheer thy hour with offices of kindness, or +uphold thy fainting courage by the suggestions of good counsel. For such +as thou the world has no compassion. Mankind will pursue thee to the +grave with execrations. Their cruelty will be justified or palliated, +since they know thee not. They are unacquainted with the goadings of thy +conscience and the bitter retributions which thou art daily suffering. +They are full of their own wrongs, and think only of those tokens of +exultation and complacency which thou wast studious of assuming in thy +intercourse with them. It is I only that thoroughly know thee and can +rightly estimate thy claims to compassion. + +"I have somewhat partaken of thy kindness, and thou meritest some +gratitude at my hands. Shall I not visit and endeavour to console thee +in thy distress? Let me, at least, ascertain thy condition, and be the +instrument in repairing the wrongs which thou hast inflicted. Let me +gain, from the contemplation of thy misery, new motives to sincerity and +rectitude." + +While occupied by these reflections, I entered the city. The thoughts +which engrossed my mind related to Welbeck. It is not my custom to defer +till to-morrow what can be done to-day. The destiny of man frequently +hangs upon the lapse of a minute. "I will stop," said I, "at the prison; +and, since the moment of my arrival may not be indifferent, I will go +thither with all possible haste." I did not content myself with walking, +but, regardless of the comments of passengers, hurried along the way at +full speed. + +Having inquired for Welbeck, I was conducted through a dark room, +crowded with beds, to a staircase. Never before had I been in a prison. +Never had I smelt so noisome an odour, or surveyed faces so begrimed +with filth and misery. The walls and floors were alike squalid and +detestable. It seemed that in this house existence would be bereaved of +all its attractions; and yet those faces, which could be seen through +the obscurity that encompassed them, were either void of care or +distorted with mirth. + +"This," said I, as I followed my conductor, "is the residence of +Welbeck. What contrasts are these to the repose and splendour, pictured +walls, glossy hangings, gilded sofas, mirrors that occupied from ceiling +to floor, carpets of Tauris, and the spotless and transcendent +brilliancy of coverlets and napkins, in thy former dwelling! Here +brawling and the shuffling of rude feet are eternal. The air is loaded +with the exhalations of disease and the fumes of debauchery. Thou art +cooped up in airless space, and, perhaps, compelled to share thy narrow +cell with some stupid ruffian. Formerly, the breezes were courted by thy +lofty windows. Aromatic shrubs were scattered on thy hearth. Menials, +splendid in apparel, showed their faces with diffidence in thy +apartment, trod lightly on thy marble floor, and suffered not the +sanctity of silence to be troubled by a whisper. Thy lamp shot its rays +through the transparency of alabaster, and thy fragrant lymph flowed +from vases of porcelain. Such were formerly the decorations of thy +hall, the embellishments of thy existence; but now--alas!----" + +We reached a chamber in the second story. My conductor knocked at the +door. No one answered. Repeated knocks were unheard or unnoticed by the +person within. At length, lifting a latch, we entered together. + +The prisoner lay upon the bed, with his face turned from the door. I +advanced softly, making a sign to the keeper to withdraw. Welbeck was +not asleep, but merely buried in reverie. I was unwilling to disturb his +musing, and stood with my eyes fixed upon his form. He appeared +unconscious that any one had entered. + +At length, uttering a deep sigh, he changed his posture, and perceived +me in my motionless and gazing attitude. Recollect in what circumstances +we had last parted. Welbeck had, no doubt, carried away with him from +that interview a firm belief that I should speedily die. His prognostic, +however, was fated to be contradicted. + +His first emotions were those of surprise. These gave place to +mortification and rage. After eyeing me for some time, he averted his +glances, and that effort which is made to dissipate some obstacle to +breathing showed me that his sensations were of the most excruciating +kind. He laid his head upon the pillow, and sunk into his former musing. +He disdained, or was unable, to utter a syllable of welcome or contempt. + +In the opportunity that had been afforded me to view his countenance, I +had observed tokens of a kind very different from those which used to be +visible. The gloomy and malignant were more conspicuous. Health had +forsaken his cheeks, and taken along with it those flexible parts which +formerly enabled him to cover his secret torments and insidious purposes +beneath a veil of benevolence and cheerfulness. "Alas!" said I, loud +enough for him to hear me, "here is a monument of ruin. Despair and +mischievous passions are too deeply rooted in this heart for me to tear +them away." + +These expressions did not escape his notice. He turned once more and +cast sullen looks upon me. There was somewhat in his eyes that made me +shudder. They denoted that his reverie was not that of grief, but of +madness. I continued, in a less steadfast voice than before:-- + +"Unhappy Clemenza! I have performed thy message. I have visited him that +is sick and in prison. Thou hadst cause for anguish and terror, even +greater cause than thou imaginedst. Would to God that thou wouldst be +contented with the report which I shall make; that thy misguided +tenderness would consent to leave him to his destiny, would suffer him +to die alone; but that is a forbearance which no eloquence that I +possess will induce thee to practise. Thou must come, and witness for +thyself." + +In speaking thus, I was far from foreseeing the effects which would be +produced on the mind of Welbeck. I was far from intending to instil into +him a belief that Clemenza was near at hand, and was preparing to enter +his apartment; yet no other images but these would, perhaps, have roused +him from his lethargy, and awakened that attention which I wished to +awaken. He started up, and gazed fearfully at the door. + +"What!" he cried. "What! Is she here? Ye powers, that have scattered +woes in my path, spare me the sight of her! But from this agony I will +rescue myself. The moment she appears I will pluck out these eyes and +dash them at her feet." + +So saying, he gazed with augmented eagerness upon the door. His hands +were lifted to his head, as if ready to execute his frantic purpose. I +seized his arm and besought him to lay aside his terror, for that +Clemenza was far distant. She had no intention, and besides was unable, +to visit him. + +"Then I am respited. I breathe again. No; keep her from a prison. Drag +her to the wheel or to the scaffold; mangle her with stripes; torture +her with famine; strangle her child before her face, and cast it to the +hungry dogs that are howling at the gate; but--keep her from a prison. +Never let her enter these doors." There he stopped; his eyes being fixed +on the floor, and his thoughts once more buried in reverie. I +resumed:-- + +"She is occupied with other griefs than those connected with the fate of +Welbeck. She is not unmindful of you; she knows you to be sick and in +prison; and I came to do for you whatever office your condition might +require, and I came at her suggestion. She, alas! has full employment +for her tears in watering the grave of her child." + +He started. "What! dead? Say you that the child is dead?" + +"It is dead. I witnessed its death. I saw it expire in the arms of its +mother; that mother whom I formerly met under your roof blooming and +gay, but whom calamity has tarnished and withered. I saw her in the +raiment of poverty, under an accursed roof: desolate; alone; unsolaced +by the countenance or sympathy of human beings; approached only by those +who mock at her distress, set snares for her innocence, and push her to +infamy. I saw her leaning over the face of her dying babe." + +Welbeck put his hands to his head, and exclaimed, "Curses on thy lips, +infernal messenger! Chant elsewhere thy rueful ditty! Vanish! if thou +wouldst not feel in thy heart fangs red with blood less guilty than +thine." + +Till this moment the uproar in Welbeck's mind appeared to hinder him +from distinctly recognising his visitant. Now it seemed as if the +incidents of our last interview suddenly sprung up in his remembrance. + +"What! This is the villain that rifled my cabinet, the maker of my +poverty and of all the evils which it has since engendered! That has led +me to a prison! Execrable fool! you are the author of the scene that you +describe, and of horrors without number and name. To whatever crimes I +have been urged since that interview, and the fit of madness that made +you destroy my property, they spring from your act; they flowed from +necessity, which, had you held your hand at that fateful moment, would +never have existed. + +"How dare you thrust yourself upon my privacy? Why am I not alone? Fly! +and let my miseries want, at least, the aggravation of beholding their +author. My eyes loathe the sight of thee! My heart would suffocate thee +with its own bitterness! Begone!" + +"I know not," I answered, "why innocence should tremble at the ravings +of a lunatic; why it should be overwhelmed by unmerited reproaches! Why +it should not deplore the errors of its foe, labour to correct those +errors, and----" + +"Thank thy fate, youth, that my hands are tied up by my scorn; thank thy +fate that no weapon is within reach. Much has passed since I saw thee, +and I am a new man. I am no longer inconstant and cowardly. I have no +motives but contempt to hinder me from expiating the wrongs which thou +hast done me in thy blood. I disdain to take thy life. Go; and let thy +fidelity, at least, to the confidence which I have placed in thee, be +inviolate. Thou hast done me harm enough, but canst do, if thou wilt, +still more. Thou canst betray the secrets that are lodged in thy bosom, +and rob me of the comfort of reflecting that my guilt is known but to +one among the living." + +This suggestion made me pause, and look back upon the past. I had +confided this man's tale to you. The secrecy on which he so fondly +leaned was at an end. Had I acted culpably or not? + +But why should I ruminate, with anguish and doubt, upon the past? The +future was within my power, and the road of my duty was too plain to be +mistaken. I would disclose to Welbeck the truth, and cheerfully +encounter every consequence. I would summon my friend to my aid, and +take his counsel in the critical emergency in which I was placed. I +ought not to rely upon myself alone in my efforts to benefit this being, +when another was so near whose discernment and benevolence, and +knowledge of mankind, and power of affording relief, were far superior +to mine. + +Influenced by these thoughts, I left the apartment without speaking; +and, procuring pen and paper, despatched to you the billet which brought +about our meeting. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVII. + + +Mervyn's auditors allowed no pause in their attention to this story. +Having ended, a deep silence took place. The clock which stood upon the +mantel had sounded twice the customary _larum_, but had not been heard +by us. It was now struck a third time. It was _one_. Our guest appeared +somewhat startled at this signal, and looked, with a mournful sort of +earnestness, at the clock. There was an air of inquietude about him +which I had never observed in an equal degree before. + +I was not without much curiosity respecting other incidents than those +which had just been related by him; but, after so much fatigue as he had +undergone, I thought it improper to prolong the conversation. + +"Come," said I, "my friend, let us to bed. This is a drowsy time, and, +after so much exercise of mind and body, you cannot but need some +repose. Much has happened in your absence, which is proper to be known +to you; but our discourse will be best deferred till to-morrow. I will +come into your chamber by day-dawn, and unfold to you particulars." + +"Nay," said he, "withdraw not on my account. If I go to my chamber, it +will not be to sleep, but to meditate, especially after your assurance +that something of moment has occurred in my absence. My thoughts, +independently of any cause of sorrow or fear, have received an impulse +which solitude and darkness will not stop. It is impossible to know too +much for our safety and integrity, or to know it too soon. What has +happened?" + +I did not hesitate to comply with his request, for it was not difficult +to conceive that, however tired the limbs might be, the adventures of +this day would not be easily expelled from the memory at night. I told +him the substance of the conversation with Mrs. Althorpe. He smiled at +those parts of the narrative which related to himself; but when his +father's depravity and poverty were mentioned, he melted into tears. + +"Poor wretch! I, that knew thee in thy better days, might have easily +divined this consequence. I foresaw thy poverty and degradation in the +same hour that I left thy roof. My soul drooped at the prospect, but I +said, It cannot be prevented, and this reflection was an antidote to +grief; but, now that thy ruin is complete, it seems as if some of it +were imputable to me, who forsook thee when the succour and counsel of a +son were most needed. Thou art ignorant and vicious, but thou art my +father still. I see that the sufferings of a better man than thou art +would less afflict me than thine. Perhaps it is still in my power to +restore thy liberty and good name, and yet--that is a fond wish. Thou +art past the age when the ignorance and grovelling habits of a human +being are susceptible of cure." There he stopped, and, after a gloomy +pause, continued:-- + + * * * * * + +I am not surprised or afflicted at the misconceptions of my neighbours +with relation to my own character. Men must judge from what they see; +they must build their conclusions on their knowledge. I never saw in the +rebukes of my neighbours any thing but laudable abhorrence of vice. They +were too eager to blame, to collect materials of censure rather than of +praise. It was not me whom they hated and despised. It was the phantom +that passed under my name, which existed only in their imagination, and +which was worthy of all their scorn and all their enmity. + +What I appeared to be in their eyes was as much the object of my own +disapprobation as of theirs. Their reproaches only evinced the rectitude +of their decisions, as well as of my own. I drew from them new motives +to complacency. They fortified my perseverance in the path which I had +chosen as best; they raised me higher in my own esteem; they heightened +the claims of the reproachers themselves to my respect and my +gratitude. + +They thought me slothful, incurious, destitute of knowledge and of all +thirst of knowledge, insolent, and profligate. They say that in the +treatment of my father I have been ungrateful and inhuman. I have stolen +his property, and deserted him in his calamity. Therefore they hate and +revile me. It is well; I love them for these proofs of their discernment +and integrity. Their indignation at wrong is the truest test of their +virtue. + +It is true that they mistake me, but that arises from the circumstances +of our mutual situation. They examined what was exposed to their view, +they grasped at what was placed within their reach. To decide contrary +to appearances, to judge from what they knew not, would prove them to be +brutish and not rational, would make their decision of no worth, and +render them, in their turn, objects of neglect and contempt. + +It is true that I hated school; that I sought occasions of absence, and +finally, on being struck by the master, determined to enter his presence +no more. I loved to leap, to run, to swim, to climb trees and to clamber +up rocks, to shroud myself in thickets and stroll among woods, to obey +the impulse of the moment, and to prate or be silent, just as my humour +prompted me. All this I loved more than to go to and fro in the same +path, and at stated hours to look off and on a book, to read just as +much and of such a kind, to stand up and be seated, just as another +thought proper to direct. I hated to be classed, cribbed, rebuked, and +feruled at the pleasure of one who, as it seemed to me, knew no guide in +his rewards but caprice, and no prompter in his punishments but passion. + +It is true that I took up the spade and the hoe as rarely, and for as +short a time, as possible. I preferred to ramble in the forest and +loiter on the hill; perpetually to change the scene; to scrutinize the +endless variety of objects; to compare one leaf and pebble with another; +to pursue those trains of thought which their resemblances and +differences suggested; to inquire what it was that gave them this place, +structure, and form, were more agreeable employments than ploughing and +threshing. + +My father could well afford to hire labour. What my age and my +constitution enabled me to do could be done by a sturdy boy, in half the +time, with half the toil, and with none of the reluctance. The boy was a +bond-servant, and the cost of his clothing and food was next to nothing. +True it is, that my service would have saved him even this expense, but +my motives for declining the effort were not hastily weighed or +superficially examined. These were my motives. + +My frame was delicate and feeble. Exposure to wet blasts and vertical +suns was sure to make me sick. My father was insensible to this +consequence; and no degree of diligence would please him but that which +would destroy my health. My health was dearer to my mother than to me. +She was more anxious to exempt me from possible injuries than reason +justified; but anxious she was, and I could not save her from anxiety +but by almost wholly abstaining from labour. I thought her peace of mind +was of some value, and that, if the inclination of either of my parents +must be gratified at the expense of the other, the preference was due to +the woman who bore me; who nursed me in disease; who watched over my +safety with incessant tenderness; whose life and whose peace were +involved in mine. I should have deemed myself brutish and obdurately +wicked to have loaded her with fears and cares merely to smooth the brow +of a froward old man, whose avarice called on me to sacrifice my ease +and my health, and who shifted to other shoulders the province of +sustaining me when sick, and of mourning for me when dead. + +I likewise believed that it became me to reflect upon the influence of +my decision on my own happiness; and to weigh the profits flowing to my +father from my labour, against the benefits of mental exercise, the +pleasures of the woods and streams, healthful sensations, and the luxury +of musing. The pecuniary profit was petty and contemptible. It obviated +no necessity. It purchased no rational enjoyment. It merely provoked, by +furnishing the means of indulgence, an appetite from which my father was +not exempt. It cherished the seeds of depravity in him, and lessened the +little stock of happiness belonging to my mother. + +I did not detain you long, my friends, in portraying my parents, and +recounting domestic incidents, when I first told you my story. What had +no connection with the history of Welbeck and with the part that I have +acted upon this stage I thought it proper to omit. My omission was +likewise prompted by other reasons. My mind is enervated and feeble, +like my body. I cannot look upon the sufferings of those I love without +exquisite pain. I cannot steel my heart by the force of reason, and by +submission to necessity; and, therefore, too frequently employ the +cowardly expedient of endeavouring to forget what I cannot remember +without agony. + +I told you that my father was sober and industrious by habit; but habit +is not uniform. There were intervals when his plodding and tame spirit +gave place to the malice and fury of a demon. Liquors were not sought by +him; but he could not withstand entreaty, and a potion that produced no +effect upon others changed him into a maniac. + +I told you that I had a sister, whom the arts of a villain destroyed. +Alas! the work of her destruction was left unfinished by him. The blows +and contumelies of a misjudging and implacable parent, who scrupled not +to thrust her, with her new-born infant, out of doors; the curses and +taunts of unnatural brothers, left her no alternative but death.----But +I must not think of this; I must not think of the wrongs which my mother +endured in the person of her only and darling daughter. + +My brothers were the copyists of the father, whom they resembled in +temper and person. My mother doted on her own image in her daughter and +in me. This daughter was ravished from her by self-violence, and her +other children by disease. I only remained to appropriate her affections +and fulfil her hopes. This alone had furnished a sufficient reason why I +should be careful of my health and my life, but my father's character +supplied me with a motive infinitely more cogent. + +It is almost incredible, but nevertheless true, that the only being +whose presence and remonstrances had any influence on my father, at +moments when his reason was extinct, was myself. As to my personal +strength, it was nothing; yet my mother's person was rescued from +brutal violence; he was checked, in the midst of his ferocious career, +by a single look or exclamation from me. The fear of my rebukes had even +some influence in enabling him to resist temptation. If I entered the +tavern at the moment when he was lifting the glass to his lips, I never +weighed the injunctions of decorum, but, snatching the vessel from his +hand, I threw it on the ground. I was not deterred by the presence of +others; and their censures on my want of filial respect and duty were +listened to with unconcern. I chose not to justify myself by expatiating +on domestic miseries, and by calling down that pity on my mother which I +knew would only have increased her distress. + +The world regarded my deportment as insolent and perverse to a degree of +insanity. To deny my father an indulgence which they thought harmless, +and which, indeed, was harmless in its influence on other men; to +interfere thus publicly with his social enjoyments, and expose him to +mortification and shame, was loudly condemned; but my duty to my mother +debarred me from eluding this censure on the only terms on which it +could have been eluded. Now it has ceased to be necessary to conceal +what passed in domestic retirements, and I should willingly confess the +truth before any audience. + +At first my father imagined that threats and blows would intimidate his +monitor. In this he was mistaken, and the detection of this mistake +impressed him with an involuntary reverence for me, which set bounds to +those excesses which disdained any other control. Hence I derived new +motives for cherishing a life which was useful, in so many ways, to my +mother. + +My condition is now changed. I am no longer on that field to which the +law, as well as reason, must acknowledge that I had some right, while +there was any in my father. I must hazard my life, if need be, in the +pursuit of the means of honest subsistence. I never spared myself while +in the service of Mr. Hadwin; and, at a more inclement season, should +probably have incurred some hazard by my diligence. + +These were the motives of my _idleness_,--for my abstaining from the +common toils of the farm passed by that name among my neighbours; +though, in truth, my time was far from being wholly unoccupied by manual +employments, but these required less exertion of body or mind, or were +more connected with intellectual efforts. They were pursued in the +seclusion of my chamber or the recesses of a wood. I did not labour to +conceal them, but neither was I anxious to attract notice. It was +sufficient that the censure of my neighbours was unmerited, to make me +regard it with indifference. + +I sought not the society of persons of my own age, not from sullen or +unsociable habits, but merely because those around me were totally +unlike myself. Their tastes and occupations were incompatible with mine. +In my few books, in my pen, in the vegetable and animal existences +around me, I found companions who adapted their visits and intercourse +to my convenience and caprice, and with whom I was never tired of +communing. + +I was not unaware of the opinion which my neighbours had formed of my +being improperly connected with Betty Lawrence. I am not sorry that I +fell into company with that girl. Her intercourse has instructed me in +what some would think impossible to be attained by one who had never +haunted the impure recesses of licentiousness in a city. The knowledge +which a residence in this town for ten years gave her audacious and +inquisitive spirit she imparted to me. Her character, profligate and +artful, libidinous and impudent, and made up of the impressions which a +city life had produced on her coarse but active mind, was open to my +study, and I studied it. + +I scarcely know how to repel the charge of illicit conduct, and to +depict the exact species of intercourse subsisting between us. I always +treated her with freedom, and sometimes with gayety. I had no motives to +reserve. I was so formed that a creature like her had no power over my +senses. That species of temptation adapted to entice me from the true +path was widely different from the artifices of Betty. There was no +point at which it was possible for her to get possession of my fancy. I +watched her while she practised all her tricks and blandishments, as I +regarded a similar deportment in the _animal salax ignavumque_ who +inhabits the sty. I made efforts to pursue my observations +unembarrassed; but my efforts were made, not to restrain desire, but to +suppress disgust. The difficulty lay, not in withholding my caresses, +but in forbearing to repulse her with rage. + +Decorum, indeed, was not outraged, and all limits were not overstepped +at once. Dubious advances were employed; but, when found unavailing, +were displaced by more shameless and direct proceedings. She was too +little versed in human nature to see that her last expedient was always +worse than the preceding; and that, in proportion as she lost sight of +decency, she multiplied the obstacles to her success. + +Betty had many enticements in person and air. She was ruddy, smooth, and +plump. To these she added--I must not say what, for it is strange to +what lengths a woman destitute of modesty will sometimes go. But, all +her artifices availing her not at all in the contest with my +insensibilities, she resorted to extremes which it would serve no good +purpose to describe in this audience. They produced not the consequences +she wished, but they produced another which was by no means displeasing +to her. An incident one night occurred, from which a sagacious observer +deduced the existence of an intrigue. It was useless to attempt to +rectify his mistake by explaining appearances in a manner consistent +with my innocence. This mode of explication implied a _continence_ in me +which he denied to be possible. The standard of possibilities, +especially in vice and virtue, is fashioned by most men after their own +character. A temptation which this judge of human nature knew that _he_ +was unable to resist, he sagely concluded to be irresistible by any +other man, and quickly established the belief among my neighbours, that +the woman who married the father had been prostituted to the son. Though +I never admitted the truth of this aspersion, I believed it useless to +deny, because no one would credit my denial, and because I had no power +to disprove it. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVIII. + + +What other inquiries were to be resolved by our young friend, we were +now, at this late hour, obliged to postpone till the morrow. I shall +pass over the reflections which a story like this would naturally +suggest, and hasten to our next interview. + +After breakfast next morning, the subject of last night's conversation +was renewed. I told him that something had occurred in his absence, in +relation to Mrs. Wentworth and her nephew, that had perplexed us not a +little. "My information is obtained," continued I, "from Wortley; and it +is nothing less than that young Clavering, Mrs. Wentworth's nephew, is, +at this time, actually alive." + +Surprise, but none of the embarrassment of guilt, appeared in his +countenance at these tidings. He looked at me as if desirous that I +should proceed. + +"It seems," added I, "that a letter was lately received by this lady +from the father of Clavering, who is now in Europe. This letter reports +that this son was lately met with in Charleston, and relates the means +which old Mr. Clavering had used to prevail upon his son to return home; +means, of the success of which he entertained well-grounded hopes. What +think you?" + +"I can only reject it," said he, after some pause, "as untrue. The +father's correspondent may have been deceived. The father may have been +deceived, or the father may conceive it necessary to deceive the aunt, +or some other supposition as to the source of the error may be true; but +an error it surely is. Clavering is not alive. I know the chamber where +he died, and the withered pine under which he lies buried." + +"If she be deceived," said I, "it will be impossible to rectify her +error." + +"I hope not. An honest front and a straight story will be sufficient." + +"How do you mean to act?" + +"Visit her, without doubt, and tell her the truth. My tale will be too +circumstantial and consistent to permit her to disbelieve." + +"She will not hearken to you. She is too strongly prepossessed against +you to admit you even to a hearing." + +"She cannot help it. Unless she lock her door against me, or stuff her +ears with wool, she must hear me. Her prepossessions are reasonable, but +are easily removed by telling the truth. Why does she suspect me of +artifice? Because I seemed to be allied to Welbeck, and because I +disguised the truth. That she thinks ill of me is not her fault, but my +misfortune; and, happily for me, a misfortune easily removed." + +"Then you will try to see her?" + +"I will see her, and the sooner the better. I will see her to-day; this +morning; as soon as I have seen Welbeck, whom I shall immediately visit +in his prison." + +"There are other embarrassments and dangers of which you are not aware. +Welbeck is pursued by many persons whom he has defrauded of large sums. +By these persons you are deemed an accomplice in his guilt, and a +warrant is already in the hands of officers for arresting you wherever +you are found." + +"In what way," said Mervyn, sedately, "do they imagine me a partaker of +his crime?" + +"I know not. You lived with him. You fled with him. You aided and +connived at his escape." + +"Are these crimes?" + +"I believe not, but they subject you to suspicion." + +"To arrest and to punishment?" + +"To detention for a while, perhaps. But these alone cannot expose you to +punishment." + +"I thought so. Then I have nothing to fear." + +"You have imprisonment and obloquy, at least, to dread." + +"True; but they cannot be avoided but by my exile and skulking out of +sight,--evils infinitely more formidable. I shall, therefore, not avoid +them. The sooner my conduct is subjected to scrutiny, the better. Will +you go with me to Welbeck?" + +"I will go with you." + +Inquiring for Welbeck of the keeper of the prison, we were informed that +he was in his own apartment, very sick. The physician attending the +prison had been called, but the prisoner had preserved an obstinate and +scornful silence; and had neither explained his condition, nor consented +to accept any aid. + +We now went alone into his apartment. His sensibility seemed fast +ebbing, yet an emotion of joy was visible in his eyes at the appearance +of Mervyn. He seemed likewise to recognise in me his late visitant, and +made no objection to my entrance. + +"How are you this morning?" said Arthur, seating himself on the bedside, +and taking his hand. The sick man was scarcely able to articulate his +reply:--"I shall soon be well. I have longed to see you. I want to leave +with you a few words." He now cast his languid eyes on me. "You are his +friend," he continued. "You know all. You may stay." + +There now succeeded a long pause, during which he closed his eyes, and +resigned himself as if to an oblivion of all thought. His pulse under my +hand was scarcely perceptible. From this in some minutes he recovered, +and, fixing his eyes on Mervyn, resumed, in a broken and feeble +accent:-- + +"Clemenza! You have seen her. Weeks ago, I left her in an accursed +house; yet she has not been mistreated. Neglected and abandoned indeed, +but not mistreated. Save her, Mervyn. Comfort her. Awaken charity for +her sake. + +"I cannot tell you what has happened. The tale would be too long,--too +mournful. Yet, in justice to the living, I must tell you something. My +woes and my crimes will be buried with me. Some of them, but not all. + +"Ere this, I should have been many leagues upon the ocean, had not a +newspaper fallen into my hands while on the eve of embarkation. By that +I learned that a treasure was buried with the remains of the ill-fated +Watson. I was destitute. I was unjust enough to wish to make this +treasure my own. Prone to think I was forgotten, or numbered with the +victims of pestilence, I ventured to return under a careless disguise. I +penetrated to the vaults of that deserted dwelling by night. I dug up +the bones of my friend, and found the girdle and its valuable contents, +according to the accurate description that I had read. + +"I hastened back with my prize to Baltimore, but my evil destiny +overtook me at last. I was recognised by emissaries of Jamieson, +arrested and brought hither, and here shall I consummate my fate and +defeat the rage of my creditors by death. But first----" + +Here Welbeck stretched out his left hand to Mervyn, and, after some +reluctance, showed a roll of lead. + +"Receive this," said he. "In the use of it, be guided by your honesty +and by the same advertisement that furnished me the clue by which to +recover it. That being secured, the world and I will part forever. +Withdraw, for your presence can help me nothing." + +We were unwilling to comply with his injunction, and continued some +longer time in his chamber; but our kind intent availed nothing. He +quickly relapsed into insensibility, from which he recovered not again, +but next day expired. Such, in the flower of his age, was the fate of +Thomas Welbeck. + +Whatever interest I might feel in accompanying the progress of my young +friend, a sudden and unforeseen emergency compelled me again to leave +the city. A kinsman, to whom I was bound by many obligations, was +suffering a lingering disease, and, imagining, with some reason, his +dissolution to be not far distant, he besought my company and my +assistance, to soothe, at least, the agonies of his last hour. I was +anxious to clear up the mysteries which Arthur's conduct had produced, +and to shield him, if possible, from the evils which I feared awaited +him. It was impossible, however, to decline the invitation of my +kinsman, as his residence was not a day's journey from the city. I was +obliged to content myself with occasional information, imparted by +Mervyn's letters or those of my wife. + +Meanwhile, on leaving the prison, I hasted to inform Mervyn of the true +nature of the scene which had just passed. By this extraordinary +occurrence, the property of the Maurices was now in honest hands. +Welbeck, stimulated by selfish motives, had done that which any other +person would have found encompassed with formidable dangers and +difficulties. How this attempt was suggested or executed, he had not +informed us, nor was it desirable to know. It was sufficient that the +means of restoring their own to a destitute and meritorious family were +now in our possession. + +Having returned home, I unfolded to Mervyn all the particulars +respecting Williams and the Maurices which I had lately learned from +Wortley. He listened with deep attention, and, my story being finished, +he said, "In this small compass, then, is the patrimony and subsistence +of a numerous family. To restore it to them is the obvious +proceeding--but how? Where do they abide?" + +"Williams and Watson's wife live in Baltimore, and the Maurices live +near that town. The advertisements alluded to by Wortley, and which are +to be found in any newspaper, will inform us; but, first, are we sure +that any or all of these bills are contained in this covering?" + +The lead was now unrolled, and the bills which Williams had described +were found enclosed. Nothing appeared to be deficient. Of this, however, +we were scarcely qualified to judge. Those that were the property of +Williams might not be entire, and what would be the consequence of +presenting them to him, if any had been embezzled by Welbeck? + +This difficulty was obviated by Mervyn, who observed that the +advertisement describing these bills would afford us ample information +on this head. "Having found out where the Maurices and Mrs. Watson live, +nothing remains but to visit them, and put an end, as far as lies in my +power, to their inquietudes." + +"What! Would you go to Baltimore?" + +"Certainly. Can any other expedient be proper? How shall I otherwise +insure the safe conveyance of these papers?" + +"You may send them by post." + +"But why not go myself?" + +"I can hardly tell, unless your appearance on such an errand may be +suspected likely to involve you in embarrassments." + +"What embarrassments? If they receive their own, ought they not to be +satisfied?" + +"The inquiry will naturally be made as to the manner of gaining +possession of these papers. They were lately in the hands of Watson, but +Watson has disappeared. Suspicions are awake respecting the cause of his +disappearance. These suspicions are connected with Welbeck, and +Welbeck's connection with you is not unknown." + +"These are evils, but I see not how an ingenious and open conduct is +adapted to increase these evils. If they come, I must endure them." + +"I believe your decision is right. No one is so skilful an advocate in a +cause, as he whose cause it is. I rely upon your skill and address, and +shall leave you to pursue your own way. I must leave you for a time, but +shall expect to be punctually informed of all that passes." With this +agreement we parted, and I hastened to perform my intended journey. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIX. + + +I am glad, my friend, thy nimble pen has got so far upon its journey. +What remains of my story may be despatched in a trice. I have just now +some vacant hours, which might possibly be more usefully employed, but +not in an easier manner or more pleasant. So, let me carry on thy +thread. + +First, let me mention the resolutions I had formed at the time I parted +with my friend. I had several objects in view. One was a conference with +Mrs. Wentworth; another was an interview with her whom I met with at +Villars's. My heart melted when I thought upon the desolate condition of +Clemenza, and determined me to direct my first efforts for her relief. +For this end I was to visit the female who had given me a direction to +her house. The name of this person is Achsa Fielding, and she lived, +according to her own direction, at No. 40 Walnut Street. + +I went thither without delay. She was not at home. Having gained +information from the servant as to when she might be found, I proceeded +to Mrs. Wentworth's. In going thither my mind was deeply occupied in +meditation; and, with my usual carelessness of forms, I entered the +house and made my way to the parlour, where an interview had formerly +taken place between us. + +Having arrived, I began, though somewhat unseasonably, to reflect upon +the topics with which I should introduce my conversation, and +particularly the manner in which I should introduce myself. I had opened +doors without warning, and traversed passages without being noticed. +This had arisen from my thoughtlessness. There was no one within hearing +or sight. What was next to be done? Should I not return softly to the +outer door, and summon the servant by knocking? + +Preparing to do this, I heard a footstep in the entry which suspended my +design. I stood in the middle of the floor, attentive to these +movements, when presently the door opened, and there entered the +apartment Mrs. Wentworth herself! She came, as it seemed, without +expectation of finding any one there. When, therefore, the figure of a +man caught her vagrant attention, she started and cast a hasty look +towards me. + +"Pray!" (in a peremptory tone,) "how came you here, sir? and what is +your business?" + +Neither arrogance, on the one hand, nor humility, upon the other, had +any part in modelling my deportment. I came not to deprecate anger, or +exult over distress. I answered, therefore, distinctly, firmly, and +erectly,-- + +"I came to see you, madam, and converse with you; but, being busy with +other thoughts, I forgot to knock at the door. No evil was intended by +my negligence, though propriety has certainly not been observed. Will +you pardon this intrusion, and condescend to grant me your attention?" + +"To what? What have you to say to me? I know you only as the accomplice +of a villain in an attempt to deceive me. There is nothing to justify +your coming hither, and I desire you to leave the house with as little +ceremony as you entered it." + +My eyes were lowered at this rebuke, yet I did not obey the command. +"Your treatment of me, madam, is such as I appear to you to deserve. +Appearances are unfavourable to me, but those appearances are false. I +have concurred in no plot against your reputation or your fortune. I +have told you nothing but the truth. I came hither to promote no selfish +or sinister purpose. I have no favour to entreat, and no petition to +offer, but that you will suffer me to clear up those mistakes which you +have harboured respecting me. + +"I am poor. I am destitute of fame and of kindred. I have nothing to +console me in obscurity and indigence, but the approbation of my own +heart and the good opinion of those who know me as I am. The good may be +led to despise and condemn me. Their aversion and scorn shall not make +me unhappy; but it is my interest and my duty to rectify their error if +I can. I regard your character with esteem. You have been mistaken in +condemning me as a liar and impostor, and I came to remove this mistake. +I came, if not to procure your esteem, at least to take away hatred and +suspicion. + +"But this is not all my purpose. You are in an error in relation not +only to my character, but to the situation of your nephew Clavering. I +formerly told you, that I saw him die; that I assisted at his burial: +but my tale was incoherent and imperfect, and you have since received +intelligence to which you think proper to trust, and which assures you +that he is still living. All I now ask is your attention, while I relate +the particulars of my knowledge. + +"Proof of my veracity or innocence may be of no value in your eyes, but +the fate of your nephew ought to be known to you. Certainty, on this +head, may be of much importance to your happiness, and to the regulation +of your future conduct. To hear me patiently can do you no injury, and +may benefit you much. Will you permit me to go on?" + +During this address, little abatement of resentment and scorn was +visible in my companion. + +"I will hear you," she replied. "Your invention may amuse if it does not +edify. But, I pray you, let your story be short." + +I was obliged to be content with this ungraceful concession, and +proceeded to begin my narration. I described the situation of my +father's dwelling. I mentioned the year, month, day, and hour of her +nephew's appearance among us. I expatiated minutely on his form, +features, dress, sound of his voice, and repeated his words. His +favourite gestures and attitudes were faithfully described. + +I had gone but a little way in my story, when the effects were visible +in her demeanour which I expected from it. Her knowledge of the youth, +and of the time and manner of his disappearance, made it impossible for +me, with so minute a narrative, to impose upon her credulity. Every +word, every incident related, attested my truth, by their agreement with +what she herself previously knew. + +Her suspicious and angry watchfulness was quickly exchanged for downcast +looks, and stealing tears, and sighs difficultly repressed. Meanwhile, I +did not pause, but described the treatment he received from my mother's +tenderness, his occupations, the freaks of his insanity, and, finally, +the circumstances of his death and funeral. + +Thence I hastened to the circumstances which brought me to the city; +which placed me in the service of Welbeck, and obliged me to perform so +ambiguous a part in her presence. I left no difficulty to be solved, and +no question unanticipated. + +"I have now finished my story," I continued, "and accomplished my design +in coming hither. Whether I have vindicated my integrity from your +suspicions, I know not. I have done what in me lay to remove your error; +and, in that, have done my duty. What more remains? Any inquiries you +are pleased to make, I am ready to answer. If there be none to make, I +will comply with your former commands, and leave the house with as +little ceremony as I entered it." + +"Your story," she replied, "has been unexpected. I believe it fully, and +am sorry for the hard thoughts which past appearances have made me +entertain concerning you." + +Here she sunk into mournful silence. "The information," she at length +resumed, "which I have received from another quarter respecting that +unfortunate youth, astonishes and perplexes me. It is inconsistent with +your story, but it must be founded on some mistake, which I am, at +present, unable to unravel. Welbeck, whose connection has been so +unfortunate to you----" + +"Unfortunate! Dear madam! How unfortunate? It has done away a part of my +ignorance of the world in which I live. It has led me to the situation +in which I am now placed. It has introduced me to the knowledge of many +good people. It has made me the witness and the subject of many acts of +beneficence and generosity. My knowledge of Welbeck has been useful to +me. It has enabled me to be useful to others. I look back upon that +allotment of my destiny which first led me to his door, with gratitude +and pleasure. + +"Would to heaven," continued I, somewhat changing my tone, "intercourse +with Welbeck had been as harmless to all others as it has been to me! +that no injury to fortune and fame, and innocence and life, had been +incurred by others greater than has fallen upon my head! There is one +being, whose connection with him has not been utterly dissimilar in its +origin and circumstances to mine, though the catastrophe has, indeed, +been widely and mournfully different. + +"And yet, within this moment, a thought has occurred from which I derive +some consolation and some hope. You, dear madam, are rich. These +spacious apartments, this plentiful accommodation, are yours. You have +enough for your own gratification and convenience, and somewhat to +spare. Will you take to your protecting arms, to your hospitable roof, +an unhappy girl whom the arts of Welbeck have robbed of fortune, +reputation, and honour, who is now languishing in poverty, weeping over +the lifeless remains of her babe, surrounded by the agents of vice, and +trembling on the verge of infamy?" + +"What can this mean?" replied the lady. "Of whom do you speak?" + +"You shall know her. You shall be apprized of her claims to your +compassion. Her story, as far as is known to me, I will faithfully +repeat to you. She is a stranger; an Italian; her name is Clemenza +Lodi." + +"Clemenza Lodi! Good heaven!" exclaimed Mrs. Wentworth; "why, surely--it +cannot be. And yet--is it possible that you are that person?" + +"I do not comprehend you, madam." + +"A friend has related a transaction of a strange sort. It is scarcely an +hour since she told it me. The name of Clemenza Lodi was mentioned in +it, and a young man of most singular deportment was described. But tell +me how you were engaged on Thursday morning." + +"I was coming to this city from a distance. I stopped ten minutes at the +house of----" + +"Mrs. Villars?" + +"The same. Perhaps you know her and her character. Perhaps you can +confirm or rectify my present opinions concerning her. It is there that +the unfortunate Clemenza abides. It is thence that I wish her to be +speedily removed." + +"I have heard of you; of your conduct upon that occasion." + +"Of me?" answered I, eagerly. "Do you know that woman?" So saying, I +produced the card which I had received from her, and on which her name +was written. + +"I know her well. She is my countrywoman and my friend." + +"Your friend? Then she is good; she is innocent; she is generous. Will +she be a sister, a protectress, to Clemenza? Will you exhort her to a +deed of charity? Will you be, yourself, an example of beneficence? +Direct me to Miss Fielding, I beseech you. I have called on her already, +but in vain, and there is no time to be lost." + +"Why are you so precipitate? What would you do?" + +"Take her away from that house instantly--bring her hither--place her +under your protection--give her Mrs. Wentworth for a counsellor--a +friend--a mother. Shall I do this? Shall I hie thither to-day, this very +hour--now? Give me your consent, and she shall be with you before noon." + +"By no means," replied she, with earnestness. "You are too hasty. An +affair of so much importance cannot be despatched in a moment. There are +many difficulties and doubts to be first removed." + +"Let them be reserved for the future. Withhold not your helping hand +till the struggle has disappeared forever. Think on the gulf that is +already gaping to swallow her. This is no time to hesitate and falter. I +will tell you her story, but not now; we will postpone it till +to-morrow, and first secure her from impending evils. She shall tell it +you herself. In an hour I will bring her hither, and she herself shall +recount to you her sorrows. Will you let me?" + +"Your behaviour is extraordinary. I can scarcely tell whether this +simplicity be real or affected. One would think that your common sense +would show you the impropriety of your request. To admit under my roof a +woman notoriously dishonoured, and from an infamous house----" + +"My dearest madam! How can you reflect upon the situation without +irresistible pity? I see that you are thoroughly aware of her past +calamity and her present danger. Do not these urge you to make haste to +her relief? Can any lot be more deplorable than hers? Can any state be +more perilous? Poverty is not the only evil that oppresses or that +threatens her. The scorn of the world, and her own compunction, the +death of the fruit of her error and the witness of her shame, are not +the worst. She is exposed to the temptations of the profligate; while +she remains with Mrs. Villars, her infamy accumulates; her further +debasement is facilitated; her return to reputation and to virtue is +obstructed by new bars." + +"How know I that her debasement is not already complete and +irremediable? She is a mother, but not a wife. How came she thus? Is her +being Welbeck's prostitute no proof of her guilt?" + +"Alas! I know not. I believe her not very culpable; I know her to be +unfortunate; to have been robbed and betrayed. You are a stranger to her +history. I am myself imperfectly acquainted with it. + +"But let me tell you the little that I know. Perhaps my narrative may +cause you to think of her as I do." + +She did not object to this proposal, and I immediately recounted all +that I had gained from my own observations, or from Welbeck himself, +respecting this forlorn girl. Having finished my narrative, I proceeded +thus:-- + +"Can you hesitate to employ that power which was given you for good +ends, to rescue this sufferer? Take her to your home; to your bosom; to +your confidence. Keep aloof those temptations which beset her in her +present situation. Restore her to that purity which her desolate +condition, her ignorance, her misplaced gratitude and the artifices of a +skilful dissembler, have destroyed, if it be destroyed; for how know we +under what circumstances her ruin was accomplished? With what pretences, +or appearances, or promises, she was won to compliance?" + +"True. I confess my ignorance; but ought not that ignorance to be +removed before she makes a part of my family?" + +"Oh, no! It may be afterwards removed. It cannot be removed before. By +bringing her hither you shield her, at least, from future and possible +evils. Here you can watch her conduct and sift her sentiments +conveniently and at leisure. Should she prove worthy of your charity, +how justly may you congratulate yourself on your seasonable efforts in +her cause! If she prove unworthy, you may then demean yourself according +to her demerits." + +"I must reflect upon it.--To-morrow----" + +"Let me prevail on you to admit her at once, and without delay. This +very moment may be the critical one. To-day we may exert ourselves with +success, but to-morrow all our efforts may be fruitless. Why fluctuate, +why linger, when so much good may be done, and no evil can possibly be +incurred? It requires but a word from you; you need not move a finger. +Your house is large. You have chambers vacant and convenient. Consent +only that your door shall not be barred against her; that you will treat +her with civility: to carry your kindness into effect; to persuade her +to attend me hither and to place herself in your care, shall be my +province." + +These and many similar entreaties and reasonings were ineffectual. Her +general disposition was kind, but she was unaccustomed to strenuous or +sudden exertions. To admit the persuasions of such an advocate to so +uncommon a scheme as that of sharing her house with a creature thus +previously unknown to her, thus loaded with suspicion and with obloquy, +was not possible. + +I at last forbore importunity, and requested her to tell me when I might +expect to meet with Mrs. Fielding at her lodgings. Inquiry was made to +what end I sought an interview. I made no secret of my purpose. + +"Are you mad, young man?" she exclaimed. "Mrs. Fielding has already been +egregiously imprudent. On the faith of an ancient slight acquaintance +with Mrs. Villars in Europe, she suffered herself to be decoyed into a +visit. Instead of taking warning by numerous tokens of the real +character of that woman, in her behaviour and in that of her visitants, +she consented to remain there one night. The next morning took place +that astonishing interview with you which she has since described to me. +She is now warned against the like indiscretion. And, pray, what +benevolent scheme would you propose to her?" + +"Has she property? Is she rich?" + +"She is. Unhappily, perhaps, for her, she is absolute mistress of her +fortune, and has neither guardian nor parent to control her in the use +of it." + +"Has she virtue? Does she know the value of affluence and a fair fame? +And will not she devote a few dollars to rescue a fellow-creature from +indigence and infamy and vice? Surely she will. She will hazard nothing +by the boon. I will be her almoner. I will provide the wretched stranger +with food and raiment and dwelling; I will pay for all, if Mrs. +Fielding, from her superfluity, will supply the means. Clemenza shall +owe life and honour to your friend, till I am able to supply the needful +sum from my own stock." + +While thus speaking, my companion gazed at me with steadfastness:--"I +know not what to make of you. Your language and ideas are those of a +lunatic. Are you acquainted with Mrs. Fielding?" + +"Yes. I have seen her two days ago, and she has invited me to see her +again." + +"And on the strength of this acquaintance you expect to be her almoner? +To be the medium of her charity?" + +"I desire to save her trouble; to make charity as light and easy as +possible. 'Twill be better if she perform those offices herself. 'Twill +redound more to the credit of her reason and her virtue. But I solicit +her benignity only in the cause of Clemenza. For her only do I wish at +present to call forth her generosity and pity." + +"And do you imagine she will intrust her money to one of your age and +sex, whom she knows so imperfectly, to administer to the wants of one +whom she found in such a house as Mrs. Villars's? She never will. She +mentioned her imprudent engagement to meet you, but she is now warned +against the folly of such confidence. + +"You have told me plausible stories of yourself and of this Clemenza. I +cannot say that I disbelieve them, but I know the ways of the world too +well to bestow implicit faith so easily. You are an extraordinary young +man. You may possibly be honest. Such a one as you, with your education +and address, may possibly have passed all your life in a hovel; but it +is scarcely credible, let me tell you. I believe most of the facts +respecting my nephew, because my knowledge of him before his flight +would enable me to detect your falsehood; but there must be other proofs +besides an innocent brow and a voluble tongue, to make me give full +credit to your pretensions. + +"I have no claim upon Welbeck which can embarrass you. On that score, +you are free from any molestation from me or my friends. I have +suspected you of being an accomplice in some vile plot, and am now +inclined to acquit you; but that is all that you must expect from me, +till your character be established by other means than your own +assertions. I am engaged at present, and must therefore request you to +put an end to your visit." + +This strain was much unlike the strain which preceded it. I imagined, by +the mildness of her tone and manners, that her unfavourable +prepossessions were removed; but they seemed to have suddenly regained +their pristine force. I was somewhat disconcerted by this unexpected +change. I stood for a minute silent and irresolute. + +Just then a knock was heard at the door, and presently entered that very +female whom I had met with at Villars's. I caught her figure as I +glanced through the window. Mrs. Wentworth darted at me many significant +glances, which commanded me to withdraw; but, with this object in view, +it was impossible. + +As soon as she entered, her eyes were fixed upon me. Certain +recollections naturally occurred at that moment, and made her cheeks +glow. Some confusion reigned for a moment, but was quickly dissipated. +She did not notice me, but exchanged salutations with her friend. + +All this while I stood near the window, in a situation not a little +painful. Certain tremors which I had not been accustomed to feel, and +which seemed to possess a mystical relation to the visitant, disabled me +at once from taking my leave, or from performing any useful purpose by +staying. At length, struggling for composure, I approached her, and, +showing her the card she had given me, said,-- + +"Agreeably to this direction, I called an hour ago, at your lodgings. I +found you not. I hope you will permit me to call once more. When shall +I expect to meet you at home?" + +Her eyes were cast on the floor. A kind of indirect attention was fixed +on Mrs. Wentworth, serving to intimidate and check her. At length she +said, in an irresolute voice, "I shall be at home this evening." + +"And this evening," replied I, "I will call to see you." So saying, I +left the house. + +This interval was tedious, but was to be endured with equanimity. I was +impatient to be gone to Baltimore, and hoped to be able to set out by +the dawn of next day. Meanwhile, I was necessarily to perform something +with respect to Clemenza. + +After dinner I accompanied Mrs. Stevens to visit Miss Carlton. I was +eager to see a woman who could bear adversity in the manner which my +friend had described. + +She met us at the door of her apartment. Her seriousness was not abated +by her smiles of affability and welcome. "My friend!" whispered I, "how +truly lovely is this Miss Carlton! Are the heart and the intelligence +within worthy of these features?" + +"Yes, they are. The account of her employments, of her resignation to +the ill fate of the brother whom she loves, proves that they are." + +My eyes were riveted to her countenance and person. I felt +uncontrollable eagerness to speak to her, and to gain her good opinion. + +"You must know this young man, my dear Miss Carlton," said my friend, +looking at me; "he is my husband's friend, and professes a great desire +to be yours. You must not treat him as a mere stranger, for he knows +your character and situation already, as well as that of your brother." + +She looked at me with benignity:--"I accept his friendship willingly and +gratefully, and shall endeavour to convince him that his good opinion is +not misplaced." + +There now ensued a conversation somewhat general, in which this young +woman showed a mind vigorous from exercise and unembarrassed by care. +She affected no concealment of her own condition, of her wants, or her +comforts. She laid no stress upon misfortunes, but contrived to deduce +some beneficial consequence to herself, and some motive for gratitude to +Heaven, from every wayward incident that had befallen her. + +This demeanour emboldened me, at length, to inquire into the cause of +her brother's imprisonment, and the nature of his debt. + +She answered frankly and without hesitation:--"It is a debt of his +father's, for which he made himself responsible during his father's +life. The act was generous but imprudent, as the event has shown; +though, at the time, the unhappy effects could not be foreseen. + +"My father," continued she, "was arrested by his creditor, at a time +when the calmness and comforts of his own dwelling were necessary to his +health. The creditor was obdurate, and would release him upon no +condition but that of receiving a bond from my brother, by which he +engaged to pay the debt at several successive times and in small +portions. All these instalments were discharged with great difficulty +indeed, but with sufficient punctuality, except the last, to which my +brother's earnings were not adequate." + +"How much is the debt?" + +"Four hundred dollars." + +"And is the state of the creditor such as to make the loss of four +hundred dollars of more importance to him than the loss of liberty to +your brother?" + +She answered, smiling, "That is a very abstract view of things. On such +a question you and I might, perhaps, easily decide in favour of my +brother; but would there not be some danger of deciding partially? His +conduct is a proof of his decision, and there is no power to change it." + +"Will not argument change it? Methinks in so plain a case I should be +able to convince him. You say he is rich and childless. His annual +income is ten times more than this sum. Your brother cannot pay the debt +while in prison; whereas, if at liberty, he might slowly and finally +discharge it. If his humanity would not yield, his avarice might be +brought to acquiesce." + +"But there is another passion which you would find it somewhat harder to +subdue, and that is his vengeance. He thinks himself wronged, and +imprisons my brother, not to enforce payment, but to inflict misery. If +you could persuade him that there is no hardship in imprisonment, you +would speedily gain the victory; but that could not be attempted +consistently with truth. In proportion to my brother's suffering is his +gratification." + +"You draw an odious and almost incredible portrait." + +"And yet such a one would serve for the likeness of almost every second +man we meet." + +"And is such your opinion of mankind? Your experience must surely have +been of a rueful tenor to justify such hard thoughts of the rest of your +species." + +"By no means. It has been what those whose situation disables them from +looking further than the surface of things would regard as unfortunate; +but, if my goods and evils were equitably balanced, the former would be +the weightiest. I have found kindness and goodness in great numbers, but +have likewise met prejudice and rancor in many. My opinion of Farquhar +is not lightly taken up. I saw him yesterday, and the nature of his +motives in the treatment of my brother was plain enough." + +Here this topic was succeeded by others, and the conversation ceased not +till the hour had arrived on which I had preconcerted to visit Mrs. +Fielding. I left my two friends for this purpose. + +I was admitted to Mrs. Fielding's presence without scruple or +difficulty. There were two females in her company, and one of the other +sex, well-dressed, elderly, and sedate persons. Their discourse turned +upon political topics, with which, as you know, I have but slight +acquaintance. They talked of fleets and armies, of Robespierre and Pitt, +of whom I had only a newspaper-knowledge. + +In a short time the women rose, and, huddling on their cloaks, +disappeared, in company with the gentleman. Being thus left alone with +Mrs. Fielding, some embarrassment was mutually betrayed. With much +hesitation, which, however, gradually disappeared, my companion, at +length, began the conversation:-- + +"You met me lately, in a situation, sir, on which I look back with +trembling and shame, but not with any self-condemnation. I was led into +it without any fault, unless a too hasty confidence may be styled a +fault. I had known Mrs. Villars in England, where she lived with an +untainted reputation, at least; and the sight of my countrywoman, in a +foreign land, awakened emotions in the indulgence of which I did not +imagine there was either any guilt or any danger. She invited me to see +her at her house with so much urgency and warmth, and solicited me to +take a place immediately in a chaise in which she had come to the city, +that I too incautiously complied. + +"You are a stranger to me, and I am unacquainted with your character. +What little I have seen of your deportment, and what little I have +lately heard concerning you from Mrs. Wentworth, do not produce +unfavourable impressions; but the apology I have made was due to my own +reputation, and should have been offered to you whatever your character +had been." There she stopped. + +"I came not hither," said I, "to receive an apology. Your demeanour, on +our first interview, shielded you sufficiently from any suspicions or +surmises that I could form. What you have now mentioned was likewise +mentioned by your friend, and was fully believed upon her authority. My +purpose, in coming, related not to you, but to another. I desired merely +to interest your generosity and justice on behalf of one whose destitute +and dangerous condition may lay claim to your compassion and your +succour." + +"I comprehend you," said she, with an air of some perplexity. "I know +the claims of that person." + +"And will you comply with them?" + +"In what manner can I serve her?" + +"By giving her the means of living." + +"Does she not possess them already?" + +"She is destitute. Her dependence was wholly placed upon one that is +dead, by whom her person was dishonoured and her fortune embezzled." + +"But she still lives. She is not turned into the street. She is not +destitute of home." + +"But what a home!" + +"Such as she may choose to remain in." + +"She cannot choose it. She must not choose it. She remains through +ignorance, or through the incapacity of leaving it." + +"But how shall she be persuaded to a change?" + +"I will persuade her. I will fully explain her situation. I will supply +her with a new home." + +"You will persuade her to go with you, and to live at a home of your +providing and on your bounty?" + +"Certainly." + +"Would that change be worthy of a cautious person? Would it benefit her +reputation? Would it prove her love of independence?" + +"My purposes are good. I know not why she should suspect them. But I am +only anxious to be the instrument. Let her be indebted to one of her own +sex, of unquestionable reputation. Admit her into this house. Invite her +to your arms. Cherish and console her as your sister." + +"Before I am convinced that she deserves it? And even then, what regard +shall I, young, unmarried, independent, affluent, pay to my own +reputation in harbouring a woman in these circumstances?" + +"But you need not act yourself. Make me your agent and almoner. Only +supply her with the means of subsistence through me." + +"Would you have me act a clandestine part? Hold meetings with one of +your sex, and give him money for a purpose which I must hide from the +world? Is it worth while to be a dissembler and impostor? And will not +such conduct incur more dangerous surmises and suspicions than would +arise from acting openly and directly? You will forgive me for reminding +you, likewise, that it is particularly incumbent upon those in my +situation to be circumspect in their intercourse with men and with +strangers. This is the second time that I have seen you. My knowledge of +you is extremely dubious and imperfect, and such as would make the +conduct you prescribe to me, in a high degree, rash and culpable. You +must not, therefore, expect me to pursue it." + +These words were delivered with an air of firmness and dignity. I was +not insensible to the truth of her representations. "I confess," said I, +"what you have said makes me doubt the propriety of my proposal; yet I +would fain be of service to her. Cannot you point out some practicable +method?" + +She was silent and thoughtful, and seemed indisposed to answer my +question. + +"I had set my heart upon success in this negotiation," continued I, "and +could not imagine any obstacle to its success; but I find my ignorance +of the world's ways much greater than I had previously expected. You +defraud yourself of all the happiness redounding from the act of making +others happy. You sacrifice substance to show, and are more anxious to +prevent unjust aspersions from lighting on yourself, than to rescue a +fellow-creature from guilt and infamy. + +"You are rich, and abound in all the conveniences and luxuries of life. +A small portion of your superfluity would obviate the wants of a being +not less worthy than yourself. It is not avarice or aversion to labour +that makes you withhold your hand. It is dread of the sneers and +surmises of malevolence and ignorance. + +"I will not urge you further at present. Your determination to be wise +should not be hasty. Think upon the subject calmly and sedately, and +form your resolution in the course of three days. At the end of that +period I will visit you again." So saying, and without waiting for +comment or answer, I withdrew. + + + + +CHAPTER XL. + + +I mounted the stage-coach at daybreak the next day, in company with a +sallow Frenchman from St. Domingo, his fiddle-case, an ape, and two +female blacks. The Frenchman, after passing the suburbs, took out his +violin and amused himself with humming to his own _tweedle-tweedle_. The +monkey now and then munched an apple, which was given to him from a +basket by the blacks, who gazed with stupid wonder, and an exclamatory +_La! La!_ upon the passing scenery, or chattered to each other in a sort +of open-mouthed, half-articulate, monotonous, singsong jargon. + +The man looked seldom either on this side or that; and spoke only to +rebuke the frolics of the monkey, with a "Tenez! Dominique! Prenez +garde! Diable noir!" + +As to me, my thought was busy in a thousand ways. I sometimes gazed at +the faces of my _four_ companions, and endeavoured to discern the +differences and samenesses between them. I took an exact account of the +features, proportions, looks, and gestures of the monkey, the Congolese, +and the Creole Gaul. I compared them together, and examined them apart. +I looked at them in a thousand different points of view, and pursued, +untired and unsatiated, those trains of reflections which began at each +change of tone, feature, and attitude. + +I marked the country as it successively arose before me, and found +endless employment in examining the shape and substance of the fence, +the barn, and the cottage, the aspect of earth and of heaven. How great +are the pleasures of health and of mental activity! + +My chief occupation, however, related to the scenes into which I was +about to enter. My imaginations were, of course, crude and inadequate; +and I found an uncommon gratification in comparing realities, as they +successively occurred, with the pictures which my wayward fancy had +depicted. + +I will not describe my dreams. My proper task is to relate the truth. +Neither shall I dwell upon the images suggested by the condition of the +country through which I passed. I will confine myself to mentioning the +transactions connected with the purpose of my journey. + +I reached Baltimore at night. I was not so fatigued but that I could +ramble through the town. I intended, at present, merely the +gratification of a stranger's curiosity. My visit to Mrs. Watson and her +brother I designed should take place on the morrow. The evening of my +arrival I deemed an unseasonable time. + +While roving about, however, it occurred to me, that it might not be +impolitic to find the way to their habitation even now. My purposes of +general curiosity would equally be served whichever way my steps were +bent; and to trace the path to their dwelling would save me the trouble +of inquiries and interrogations to-morrow. + +When I looked forward to an interview with the wife of Watson, and to +the subject which would be necessarily discussed at that interview, I +felt a trembling and misgiving at my heart. "Surely," thought I, "it +will become me to exercise immeasurable circumspection and address; and +yet how little are these adapted to the impetuosity and candour of my +nature! + +"How am I to introduce myself? What am I to tell her? That I was a sort +of witness to the murder of her husband? That I received from the hand +of his assassin the letter which I afterwards transmitted to her? and, +from the same hands, the bills contained in his girdle? + +"How will she start and look aghast! What suspicions will she harbour? +What inquiries shall be made of me? How shall they be disarmed and +eluded, or answered? Deep consideration will be necessary before I trust +myself to such an interview. The coming night shall be devoted to +reflection upon this subject." + +From these thoughts I proceeded to inquiries for the street mentioned in +the advertisement, where Mrs. Watson was said to reside. The street, +and, at length, the habitation, was found. Having reached a station +opposite, I paused and surveyed the mansion. It was a wooden edifice of +two stories, humble, but neat. You ascended to the door by several stone +steps. Of the two lower windows, the shutters of one were closed, but +those of the other were open. Though late in the evening, there was no +appearance of light or fire within. + +Beside the house was a painted fence, through which was a gate leading +to the back of the building. Guided by the impulse of the moment, I +crossed the street to the gate, and, lifting the latch, entered the +paved alley, on one side of which was a paled fence, and on the other +the house, looking through two windows into the alley. + +The first window was dark like those in front; but at the second a light +was discernible. I approached it, and, looking through, beheld a plain +but neat apartment, in which parlour, kitchen, and nursery seemed to be +united. A fire burned cheerfully in the chimney, over which was a +tea-kettle. On the hearth sat a smiling and playful cherub of a boy, +tossing something to a black girl who sat opposite, and whose innocent +and regular features wanted only a different hue to make them beautiful. +Near it, in a rocking-chair, with a sleeping babe in her lap, sat a +female figure in plain but neat and becoming attire. Her posture +permitted half her face to be seen, and saved me from any danger of +being observed. + +This countenance was full of sweetness and benignity, but the sadness +that veiled its lustre was profound. Her eyes were now fixed upon the +fire and were moist with the tears of remembrance, while she sung, in +low and scarcely-audible strains, an artless lullaby. + +This spectacle exercised a strange power over my feelings. While +occupied in meditating on the features of the mother, I was unaware of +my conspicuous situation. The black girl, having occasion to change her +situation, in order to reach the ball which was thrown at her, unluckily +caught a glance of my figure through the glass. In a tone of half +surprise and half terror, she cried out, "Oh! see dare! a man!" + +I was tempted to draw suddenly back, but a second thought showed me the +impropriety of departing thus abruptly and leaving behind me some alarm. +I felt a sort of necessity for apologizing for my intrusion into these +precincts, and hastened to a door that led into the same apartment. I +knocked. A voice somewhat confused bade me enter. It was not till I +opened the door and entered the room, that I fully saw in what +embarrassments I had incautiously involved myself. + +I could scarcely obtain sufficient courage to speak, and gave a confused +assent to the question, "Have you business with me, sir?" She offered me +a chair, and I sat down. She put the child, not yet awakened, into the +arms of the black, who kissed it and rocked it in her arms with great +satisfaction, and, resuming her seat, looked at me with inquisitiveness +mingled with complacency. + +After a moment's pause, I said, "I was directed to this house as the +abode of Mr. Ephraim Williams. Can he be seen, madam?" + +"He is not in town at present. If you will leave a message with me, I +will punctually deliver it." + +The thought suddenly occurred, whether any more was needful than merely +to leave the bills suitably enclosed, as they already were, in a packet. +Thus all painful explanations might be avoided, and I might have reason +to congratulate myself on his seasonable absence. Actuated by these +thoughts, I drew forth the packet, and put it into her hand, saying, "I +will leave this in your possession, and must earnestly request you to +keep it safe until you can deliver it into his own hands." + +Scarcely had I said this before new suggestions occurred. Was it right +to act in this clandestine and mysterious manner? Should I leave these +persons in uncertainty respecting the fate of a husband and a brother? +What perplexities, misunderstandings, and suspenses might not grow out +of this uncertainty? and ought they not to be precluded at any hazard to +my own safety or good name? + +These sentiments made me involuntarily stretch forth my hand to retake +the packet. This gesture, and other significances in my manners, joined +to a trembling consciousness in herself, filled my companion with all +the tokens of confusion and fear. She alternately looked at me and at +the paper. Her trepidation increased, and she grew pale. These emotions +were counteracted by a strong effort. + +At length she said, falteringly, "I will take good care of them, and +will give them to my brother." + +She rose and placed them in a drawer, after which she resumed her seat. + +On this occasion all my wariness forsook me. I cannot explain why my +perplexity and the trouble of my thoughts were greater upon this than +upon similar occasions. However it be, I was incapable of speaking, and +fixed my eyes upon the floor. A sort of electrical sympathy pervaded my +companion, and terror and anguish were strongly manifested in the +glances which she sometimes stole at me. We seemed fully to understand +each other without the aid of words. + +This imbecility could not last long. I gradually recovered my composure, +and collected my scattered thoughts. I looked at her with seriousness, +and steadfastly spoke:--"Are you the wife of Amos Watson?" + +She started:--"I am indeed. Why do you ask? Do you know any thing +of----?" There her voice failed. + +I replied with quickness, "Yes. I am fully acquainted with his destiny." + +"Good God!" she exclaimed, in a paroxysm of surprise, and bending +eagerly forward, "my husband is then alive! This packet is from him. +Where is he? When have you seen him?" + +"'Tis a long time since." + +"But where, where is he now? Is he well? Will he return to me?" + +"Never." + +"Merciful Heaven!" (looking upwards and clasping her hands,) "I thank +thee at least for his life! But why has he forsaken me? Why will he not +return?" + +"For a good reason," said I, with augmented solemnity, "he will never +return to thee. Long ago was he laid in the cold grave." + +She shrieked; and, at the next moment, sunk in a swoon upon the floor. I +was alarmed. The two children shrieked, and ran about the room terrified +and unknowing what they did. I was overwhelmed with somewhat like +terror, yet I involuntarily raised the mother in my arms, and cast about +for the means of recalling her from this fit. + +Time to effect this had not elapsed, when several persons, apparently +Mrs. Watson's neighbours, and raised by the outcries of the girls, +hastily entered the room. They looked at me with mingled surprise and +suspicion; but my attitude, being not that of an injurer but helper; my +countenance, which showed the pleasure their entrance, at this critical +moment, afforded me; and my words, in which I besought their assistance, +and explained, in some degree, and briefly, the cause of those +appearances, removed their ill thoughts. + +Presently, the unhappy woman, being carried by the new-comers into a +bedroom adjoining, recovered her sensibility. I only waited for this. I +had done my part. More information would be useless to her, and not to +be given by me, at least in the present audience, without embarrassment +and peril. I suddenly determined to withdraw, and this, the attention of +the company being otherwise engaged, I did without notice. I returned to +my inn, and shut myself up in my chamber. Such was the change which, +undesigned, unforeseen, half an hour had wrought in my situation. My +cautious projects had perished in their conception. That which I had +deemed so arduous, to require such circumspect approaches, such +well-concerted speeches, was done. + +I had started up before this woman as if from the pores of the ground. I +had vanished with the same celerity, but had left her in possession of +proofs sufficient that I was neither spectre nor demon. "I will visit +her," said I, "again. I will see her brother, and know the full effect +of my disclosure. I will tell them all that I myself know. Ignorance +would be no less injurious to them than to myself; but, first, I will +see the Maurices." + + + + +CHAPTER XLI. + + +Next morning I arose betimes, and equipped myself without delay. I had +eight or ten miles to walk, so far from the town being the residence of +these people; and I forthwith repaired to their dwelling. The persons +whom I desired to see were known to me only by name, and by their place +of abode. It was a mother and her three daughters to whom I now carried +the means not only of competence but riches; means which they, no doubt, +had long ago despaired of regaining, and which, among all possible +messengers, one of my age and guise would be the least suspected of +being able to restore. + +I arrived, through intricate ways, at eleven o'clock, at the house of +Mrs. Maurice. It was a neat dwelling, in a very fanciful and rustic +style, in the bosom of a valley, which, when decorated by the verdure +and blossoms of the coming season, must possess many charms. At present +it was naked and dreary. + +As I approached it, through a long avenue, I observed two female +figures, walking arm-in-arm and slowly to and fro, in the path in which +I now was. "These," said I, "are daughters of the family. Graceful, +well-dressed, fashionable girls they seem at this distance. May they be +deserving of the good tidings which I bring!" Seeing them turn towards +the house, I mended my pace, that I might overtake them and request +their introduction of me to their mother. + +As I more nearly approached, they again turned; and, perceiving me, they +stood as if in expectation of my message. I went up to them. + +A single glance, cast at each, made me suspect that they were not +sisters; but, somewhat to my disappointment, there was nothing highly +prepossessing in the countenance of either. They were what is every day +met with, though less embellished by brilliant drapery and turban, in +markets and streets. An air somewhat haughty, somewhat supercilious, +lessened still more their attractions. These defects, however, were +nothing to me. + +I inquired, of her that seemed to be the elder of the two, for Mrs. +Maurice. + +"She is indisposed," was the cold reply. + +"That is unfortunate. Is it not possible to see her?" + +"No;" with still more gravity. + +I was somewhat at a loss how to proceed. A pause ensued. At length the +same lady resumed, "What's your business? You can leave your message +with me." + +"With nobody but her. If she be not _very_ indisposed----" + +"She is very indisposed," interrupted she, peevishly. "If you cannot +leave your message, you may take it back again, for she must not be +disturbed." + +This was a singular reception. I was disconcerted and silent. I knew not +what to say. "Perhaps," I at last observed, "some other time----" + +"No," (with increasing heat,) "no other time. She is more likely to be +worse than better. Come, Betsy," said she, taking hold of her +companion's arm; and, hieing into the house, shut the door after her, +and disappeared. I stood, at the bottom of the steps, confounded at such +strange and unexpected treatment. I could not withdraw till my purpose +was accomplished. After a moment's pause, I stepped to the door, and +pulled the bell. A negro came, of a very unpropitious aspect, and, +opening the door, looked at me in silence. To my question, Was Mrs. +Maurice to be seen? he made some answer, in a jargon which I could not +understand; but his words were immediately followed by an unseen person +within the house:--"Mrs. Maurice can't be seen by anybody. Come in, +Cato, and shut the door." This injunction was obeyed by Cato without +ceremony. + +Here was a dilemma! I came with ten thousand pounds in my hands, to +bestow freely on these people, and such was the treatment I received. "I +must adopt," said I, "a new mode." + +I lifted the latch, without a second warning, and, Cato having +disappeared, went into a room, the door of which chanced to be open, on +my right hand. I found within the two females whom I had accosted in the +portico. I now addressed myself to the younger:--"This intrusion, when I +have explained the reason of it, will, I hope, be forgiven. I come, +madam----" + +"Yes," interrupted the other, with a countenance suffused by +indignation, "I know very well whom you come from, and what it is that +prompts this insolence; but your employer shall see that we have not +sunk so low as he imagines. Cato! Bob! I say." + +"My employer, madam! I see you labour under some great mistake. I have +no employer. I come from a great distance. I come to bring intelligence +of the utmost importance to your family. I come to benefit and not to +injure you." + +By this time, Bob and Cato, two sturdy blacks, entered the room. "Turn +this person," said the imperious lady, regardless of my explanations, +"out of the house. Don't you hear me?" she continued, observing that +they looked one upon the other and hesitated. + +"Surely, madam," said I, "you are precipitate. You are treating like an +enemy one who will prove himself your mother's best friend." + +"Will you leave the house?" she exclaimed, quite beside herself with +anger. "Villains! why don't you do as I bid you?" + +The blacks looked upon each other, as if waiting for an example. Their +habitual deference for every thing _white_, no doubt, held their hands +from what they regarded as a profanation. At last Bob said, in a +whining, beseeching tone, "Why, missee, massa buckra wanna go for doo, +dan he winna go fo' wee." + +The lady now burst into tears of rage. She held out her hand, +menacingly. "Will you leave the house?" + +"Not willingly," said I, in a mild tone. "I came too far to return with +the business that brought me unperformed. I am persuaded, madam, you +mistake my character and my views. I have a message to deliver your +mother which deeply concerns her and your happiness, if you are her +daughter. I merely wished to see her, and leave with her a piece of +important news; news in which her fortune is deeply interested." + +These words had a wonderful effect upon the young lady. Her anger was +checked. "Good God!" she exclaimed, "are you Watson?" + +"No; I am only Watson's representative, and come to do all that Watson +could do if he were present." + +She was now importunate to know my business. + +"My business lies with Mrs. Maurice. Advertisements, which I have seen, +direct me to her, and to this house; and to her only shall I deliver my +message." + +"Perhaps," said she, with a face of apology, "I have mistaken you. Mrs. +Maurice is my mother. She is really indisposed, but I can stand in her +place on this occasion." + +"You cannot represent her in this instance. If I cannot have access to +her now, I must go; and shall return when you are willing to grant it." + +"Nay," replied she, "she is not, perhaps, so very sick but that I will +go, and see if she will admit you." So saying, she left me for three +minutes; and, returning, said her mother wished to see me. + +I followed up-stairs, at her request; and, entering an ill-furnished +chamber, found, seated in an arm-chair, a lady seemingly in years, pale, +and visibly infirm. The lines of her countenance were far from laying +claim to my reverence. It was too much like the daughter's. + +She looked at me, at my entrance, with great eagerness, and said, in a +sharp tone, "Pray, friend, what is it you want with me? Make haste; tell +your story, and begone." + +"My story is a short one, and easily told. Amos Watson was your agent in +Jamaica. He sold an estate belonging to you, and received the money." + +"He did," said she, attempting ineffectually to rise from her seat, and +her eyes beaming with a significance that shocked me; "he did, the +villain, and purloined the money, to the ruin of me and my daughters. +But if there be justice on earth it will overtake him. I trust I shall +have the pleasure one day--I hope to hear he's hanged. Well, but go on, +friend. He _did_ sell it, I tell you." + +"He sold it for ten thousand pounds," I resumed, "and invested this sum +in bills of exchange. Watson is dead. These bills came into my hands. I +was lately informed, by the public papers, who were the real owners, and +have come from Philadelphia with no other view than to restore them to +you. There they are," continued I, placing them in her lap, entire and +untouched. + +She seized the papers, and looked at me and at her daughter, by turns, +with an air of one suddenly bewildered. She seemed speechless, and, +growing suddenly more ghastly pale, leaned her head back upon the chair. +The daughter screamed, and hastened to support the languid parent, who +difficultly articulated, "Oh, I am sick; sick to death. Put me on the +bed." + +I was astonished and affrighted at this scene. Some of the domestics, of +both colours, entered, and gazed at me with surprise. Involuntarily I +withdrew, and returned to the room below, into which I had first +entered, and which I now found deserted. + +I was for some time at a loss to guess at the cause of these +appearances. At length it occurred to me, that joy was the source of the +sickness that had seized Mrs. Maurice. The abrupt recovery of what had +probably been deemed irretrievable would naturally produce this effect +upon a mind of a certain texture. + +I was deliberating whether to stay or go, when the daughter entered the +room, and, after expressing some surprise at seeing me, whom she +supposed to have retired, told me that her mother wished to see me again +before my departure. In this request there was no kindness. All was +cold, supercilious, and sullen. I obeyed the summons without speaking. + +I found Mrs. Maurice seated in her arm-chair, much in her former guise. +Without desiring me to be seated, or relaxing aught in her asperity of +looks and tones,--"Pray, friend, how did you _come by_ these papers?" + +"I assure you, madam, they were honestly _come by_," answered I, +sedately and with half a smile; "but, if the whole is there that was +missing, the mode and time in which they came to me is matter of +concern only to myself. Is there any deficiency?" + +"I am not sure. I don't know much of these matters. There may be less. I +dare say there is. I shall know that soon. I expect a friend of mine +every minute who will look them over. I don't doubt you can give a good +account of yourself." + +"I doubt not but I can--to those who have a right to demand it. In this +case, curiosity must be very urgent indeed before I shall consent to +gratify it." + +"You must know this is a suspicious case. Watson, to-be-sure, embezzled +the money; to-be-sure, you are his accomplice." + +"Certainly," said I, "my conduct, on this occasion, proves that. What I +have brought to you, of my own accord; what I have restored to you, +fully and unconditionally, it is plain Watson embezzled, and that I was +aiding in the fraud. To restore what was never stolen always betrays the +thief. To give what might be kept without suspicion is, without doubt, +arrant knavery. To be serious, madam, in coming thus far, for this +purpose, I have done enough; and must now bid you farewell." + +"Nay, don't go yet. I have something more to say to you. My friend, I'm +sure, will be here presently. There he is;" (noticing a peal upon the +bell.) "Polly, go down, and see if that's Mr. Somers. If it is, bring +him up." The daughter went. + +I walked to the window absorbed in my own reflections. I was +disappointed and dejected. The scene before me was the unpleasing +reverse of all that my fancy, while coming hither, had foreboded. I +expected to find virtuous indigence and sorrow lifted, by my means, to +affluence and exultation. I expected to witness the tears of gratitude +and the caresses of affection. What had I found? Nothing but sordidness, +stupidity, and illiberal suspicion. + +The daughter stayed much longer than the mother's patience could endure. +She knocked against the floor with her heel. A servant came up. "Where's +Polly, you slut? It was not you, hussy, that I wanted. It was her." + +"She is talking in the parlour with a gentleman." + +"Mr. Somers, I suppose; hey, fool? Run with my compliments to him, +wench. Tell him, please walk up." + +"It is not Mr. Somers, ma'am." + +"No? Who then, saucebox? What gentleman can have any thing to do with +Polly?" + +"I don't know, ma'am." + +"Who said you did, impertinence? Run, and tell her I want her this +instant." + +The summons was not delivered, or Polly did not think proper to obey it. +Full ten minutes of thoughtful silence on my part, and of muttered +vexation and impatience on that of the old lady, elapsed before Polly's +entrance. As soon as she appeared, the mother began to complain bitterly +of her inattention and neglect; but Polly, taking no notice of her, +addressed herself to me, and told me that a gentleman below wished to +see me. I hastened down, and found a stranger, of a plain appearance, in +the parlour. His aspect was liberal and ingenuous; and I quickly +collected, from his discourse, that this was the brother-in-law of +Watson, and the companion of his last voyage. + + + + +CHAPTER XLII. + + +My eyes sparkled with pleasure at this unexpected interview, and I +willingly confessed my desire to communicate all the knowledge of his +brother's destiny which I possessed. He told me, that, returning late to +Baltimore, on the last evening, he found his sister in much agitation +and distress, which, after a time, she explained to him. She likewise +put the packets I had left into his hands. + +"I leave you to imagine," continued he, "my surprise and curiosity at +this discovery. I was, of course, impatient to see the bearer of such +extraordinary tidings. This morning, inquiring for one of your +appearance at the taverns, I was, at length, informed of your arrival +yesterday in the stage; of your going out alone in the evening; of your +subsequent return; and of your early departure this morning. +Accidentally I lighted on your footsteps; and, by suitable inquiries on +the road, have finally traced you hither. + +"You told my sister her husband was dead. You left with her papers that +were probably in his possession at the time of his death. I understand +from Miss Maurice that the bills belonging to her mother have just been +delivered to her. I presume you have no objection to clear up this +mystery." + +"To you I am anxious to unfold every thing. At this moment, or at any +time, but the sooner the more agreeable to me, I will do it." + +"This," said he, looking around him, "is no place; there is an inn, not +a hundred yards from this gate, where I have left my horse; will you go +thither?" I readily consented, and, calling for a private apartment, I +laid before this man every incident of my life connected with Welbeck +and Watson; my full, circumstantial, and explicit story appeared to +remove every doubt which he might have entertained of my integrity. + +In Williams I found a plain, good man, of a temper confiding and +affectionate. My narration being finished, he expressed, by unaffected +tokens, his wonder and his grief on account of Watson's destiny. To my +inquiries, which were made with frankness and fervour, respecting his +own and his sister's condition, he said that the situation of both was +deplorable till the recovery of this property. They had been saved from +utter ruin, from beggary and a jail, only by the generosity and lenity +of his creditors, who did not suffer the suspicious circumstances +attending Watson's disappearance to outweigh former proofs of his +probity. They had never relinquished the hopes of receiving some tidings +of their kinsman. + +I related what had just passed in the house of Mrs. Maurice, and +requested to know from him the history and character of this family. + +"They have treated you," he answered, "exactly as any one who knew them +would have predicted. The mother is narrow, ignorant, bigoted, and +avaricious. The eldest daughter, whom you saw, resembles the old lady in +many things. Age, indeed, may render the similitude complete. At +present, pride and ill-humour are her chief characteristics. + +"The youngest daughter has nothing in mind or person in common with her +family. Where they are irascible, she is patient; where they are +imperious, she is humble; where they are covetous, she is liberal; where +they are ignorant and indolent, she is studious and skilful. It is rare, +indeed, to find a young lady more amiable than Miss Fanny Maurice, or +who has had more crosses and afflictions to sustain. + +"The eldest daughter always extorted the supply of her wants, from her +parents, by threats and importunities; but the younger could never be +prevailed upon to employ the same means, and, hence, she suffered +inconveniences which, to any other girl, born to an equal rank, would +have been, to the last degree, humiliating and vexatious. To her they +only afforded new opportunities for the display of her most shining +virtues,--fortitude and charity. No instance of their sordidness or +tyranny ever stole a murmur from her. For what they had given, existence +and a virtuous education, she said they were entitled to gratitude. What +they withheld was their own, in the use of which they were not +accountable to her. She was not ashamed to owe her subsistence to her +own industry, and was only held by the pride of her family--in this +instance their pride was equal to their avarice--from seeking out some +lucrative kind of employment. Since the shock which their fortune +sustained by Watson's disappearance, she has been permitted to pursue +this plan, and she now teaches music in Baltimore for a living. No one, +however, in the highest rank, can be more generally respected and +caressed than she is." + +"But will not the recovery of this money make a favourable change in her +condition?" + +"I can hardly tell; but I am inclined to think it will not. It will not +change her mother's character. Her pride may be awakened anew, and she +may oblige Miss Fanny to relinquish her new profession, and that will be +a change to be deplored." + +"What good has been done, then, by restoring this money?" + +"If pleasure be good, you must have conferred a great deal on the +Maurices; upon the mother and two of the daughters, at least,--the only +pleasure, indeed, which their natures can receive. It is less than if +you had raised them from absolute indigence, which has not been the +case, since they had wherewithal to live upon besides their Jamaica +property. But how?" continued Williams, suddenly recollecting himself; +"have you claimed the reward promised to him who should restore these +bills?" + +"What reward?" + +"No less than a thousand dollars. It was publicly promised under the +hands of Mrs. Maurice and of Hemmings, her husband's executor." + +"Really," said I, "that circumstance escaped my attention, and I wonder +that it did; but is it too late to repair the evil?" + +"Then you have no scruple to accept the reward?" + +"Certainly not. Could you suspect me of so strange a punctilio as that?" + +"Yes; but I know not why. The story you have just finished taught me to +expect some unreasonable refinement upon that head. To be hired, to be +bribed, to do our duty is supposed by some to be degrading." + +"This is no such bribe to me. I should have acted just as I have done, +had no recompense been promised. In truth, this has been my conduct, for +I never once thought of the reward; but, now that you remind me of it, I +would gladly see it bestowed. To fulfil their engagements, in this +respect, is no more than justice in the Maurices. To one in my condition +the money will be highly useful. If these people were poor, or generous +and worthy, or if I myself were already rich, I might less repine at +their withholding it; but, things being as they are with them and with +me, it would, I think, be gross injustice in them to withhold, and in me +to refuse." + +"That injustice," said Williams, "will, on their part, I fear, be +committed. 'Tis pity you first applied to Mrs. Maurice. Nothing can be +expected from her avarice, unless it be wrested from her by a lawsuit." + +"That is a force which I shall never apply." + +"Had you gone first to Hemmings, you might, I think, have looked for +payment. He is not a mean man. A thousand dollars, he must know, is not +much to give for forty thousand. Perhaps, indeed, it may not yet be too +late. I am well known to him, and, if you please, will attend you to him +in the evening, and state your claim." + +I thankfully accepted this offer, and went with him accordingly. I found +that Hemmings had been with Mrs. Maurice in the course of the day; had +received from her intelligence of this transaction, and had entertained +the expectation of a visit from me for this very purpose. + +While Williams explained to him the nature of my claim, he scanned me +with great intentness. His austere and inflexible brow afforded me +little room to hope for success, and this hopelessness was confirmed by +his silence and perplexity when Williams had made an end. + +"To-be-sure," said he, after some pause, "the contract was explicit. +To-be-sure, the conditions on Mr. Mervyn's side have been performed. +Certain it is, the bills are entire and complete, but Mrs. Maurice will +not consent to do her part, and Mrs. Maurice, to whom the papers were +presented, is the person by whom, according to the terms of the +contract, the reward must be paid." + +"But Mrs. Maurice, you know, sir, may be legally compelled to pay," said +Williams. + +"Perhaps she may; but I tell you plainly, that she never will do the +thing without compulsion. Legal process, however, in this case, will +have other inconveniences besides delay. Some curiosity will naturally +be excited, as to the history of these papers. Watson disappeared a +twelvemonth ago. Who can avoid asking, Where have these papers been +deposited all this while, and how came this person in possession of +them?" + +"That kind of curiosity," said I, "is natural and laudable, and gladly +would I gratify it. Disclosure or concealment in that case, however, +would nowise affect my present claim. Whether a bond, legally executed, +shall be paid, does not depend upon determining whether the payer is +fondest of boiled mutton or roast beef. Truth, in the first case, has no +connection with truth in the second. So far from eluding this curiosity, +so far from studying concealment, I am anxious to publish the truth." + +"You are right, to-be-sure," said Hemmings. "Curiosity is a natural, but +only an incidental, consequence in this case. I have no reason for +desiring that it should be an unpleasant consequence to you." + +"Well, sir," said Williams, "you think that Arthur Mervyn has no remedy +in this case but the law?" + +"Mrs. Maurice, to-be-sure, will never pay but on compulsion. Mervyn +should have known his own interest better. While his left hand was +stretched out to give, his right should have been held forth to receive. +As it is, he must be contented with the aid of law. Any attorney will +prosecute on condition of receiving _half the sum_ when recovered." + +We now rose to take our leave, when Hemmings, desiring us to pause a +moment, said, "To-be-sure, in the utmost strictness of the terms of our +promise, the reward was to be paid by the person who received the +papers; but it must be owned that your claim, at any rate, is +equitable. I have money of the deceased Mr. Maurice in my hands. These +very bills are now in my possession. I will therefore pay you your due, +and take the consequences of an act of justice on myself. I was prepared +for you. Sign that receipt, and there is a _check_ for the amount." + + + + +CHAPTER XLIII. + + +This unexpected and agreeable decision was accompanied by an invitation +to supper, at which we were treated by our host with much affability and +kindness. Finding me the author of Williams's good fortune as well as +Mrs. Maurice's, and being assured by the former of his entire conviction +of the rectitude of my conduct, he laid aside all reserve and distance +with regard to me. He inquired into my prospects and wishes, and +professed his willingness to serve me. + +I dealt with equal unreserve and frankness. "I am poor," said I. "Money +for my very expenses hither I have borrowed from a friend, to whom I am, +in other respects, much indebted, and whom I expect to compensate only +by gratitude and future services. + +"In coming hither, I expected only an increase of my debts; to sink +still deeper into poverty; but happily the issue has made me rich. This +hour has given me competence, at least." + +"What! call you a thousand dollars competence?" + +"More than competence. I call it an abundance. My own ingenuity, while I +enjoy health, will enable me to live. This I regard as a fund, first to +pay my debts, and next to supply deficiencies occasioned by untoward +accidents or ill health, during the ensuing three or four years at +least." + +We parted with this new acquaintance at a late hour, and I accepted +Williams's invitation to pass the time I should spend at Baltimore, +under his sister's roof. There were several motives for prolonging this +stay. What I had heard of Miss Fanny Maurice excited strong wishes to be +personally acquainted with her. This young lady was affectionately +attached to Mrs. Watson, by whose means my wishes were easily +accomplished. + +I never was in habits of reserve, even with those whom I had no reason +to esteem. With those who claimed my admiration and affection, it was +impossible to be incommunicative. Before the end of my second interview, +both these women were mistresses of every momentous incident of my life, +and of the whole chain of my feelings and opinions, in relation to every +subject, and particularly in relation to themselves. Every topic +disconnected with these is comparatively lifeless and inert. + +I found it easy to win their attention, and to render them communicative +in their turn. As full disclosures as I had made without condition or +request, my inquiries and example easily obtained from Mrs. Watson and +Miss Maurice. The former related every event of her youth, and the +circumstances leading to her marriage. She depicted the character of her +husband, and the whole train of suspenses and inquietudes occasioned by +his disappearance. The latter did not hide from me her opinions upon any +important subject, and made me thoroughly acquainted with her actual +situation. + +This intercourse was strangely fascinating. My heart was buoyed up by a +kind of intoxication. I now found myself exalted to my genial element, +and began to taste the delights of existence. In the intercourse of +ingenuous and sympathetic minds, I found a pleasure which I had not +previously conceived. + +The time flew swiftly away, and a fortnight passed almost before I was +aware that a day had gone by. I did not forget the friends whom I had +left behind, but maintained a punctual correspondence with Stevens, to +whom I imparted all occurrences. + +The recovery of my friend's kinsman allowed him in a few days to return +home. His first object was the consolation and relief of Carlton, whom, +with much difficulty, he persuaded to take advantage of the laws in +favour of insolvent debtors. Carlton's only debt was owing to his uncle, +and, by rendering up every species of property, except his clothes and +the implements of his trade, he obtained a full discharge. In +conjunction with his sister, he once more assumed the pen, and, being +no longer burdened with debts he was unable to discharge, he resumed, +together with his pen, his cheerfulness. Their mutual industry was +sufficient for their decent and moderate subsistence. + +The chief reason for my hasty return was my anxiety respecting Clemenza +Lodi. This reason was removed by the activity and benevolence of my +friend. He paid this unfortunate stranger a visit at Mrs. Villars's. +Access was easily obtained, and he found her sunk into the deepest +melancholy. The recent loss of her child, the death of Welbeck, of which +she was soon apprized, her total dependence upon those with whom she was +placed, who, however, had always treated her without barbarity or +indecorum, were the calamities that weighed down her spirits. + +My friend easily engaged her confidence and gratitude, and prevailed +upon her to take refuge under his own roof. Mrs. Wentworth's scruples, +as well as those of Mrs. Fielding, were removed by his arguments and +entreaties, and they consented to take upon themselves, and divide +between them, the care of her subsistence and happiness. They +condescended to express much curiosity respecting me, and some interest +in my welfare, and promised to receive me, on my return, on the footing +of a friend. + +With some reluctance, I at length bade my new friends farewell, and +returned to Philadelphia. Nothing remained, before I should enter on my +projected scheme of study and employment, under the guidance of Stevens, +but to examine the situation of Eliza Hadwin with my own eyes, and, if +possible, to extricate my father from his unfortunate situation. + +My father's state had given me the deepest concern. I figured to myself +his condition, besotted by brutal appetites, reduced to beggary, shut up +in a noisome prison, and condemned to that society which must foster all +his depraved propensities. I revolved various schemes for his relief. A +few hundreds would take him from prison; but how should he be afterwards +disposed of? How should he be cured of his indolent habits? How should +he be screened from the contagion of vicious society? By what means, +consistently with my own wants and the claims of others, should I +secure to him an acceptable subsistence? + +Exhortation and example were vain. Nothing but restraint would keep him +at a distance from the haunts of brawling and debauchery. The want of +money would be no obstacle to prodigality and waste. Credit would be +resorted to as long as it would answer his demand. When that failed, he +would once more be thrown into a prison; the same means to extricate him +would have to be repeated, and money be thus put into the pockets of the +most worthless of mankind, the agents of drunkenness and blasphemy, +without any permanent advantage to my father, the principal object of my +charity. + +Though unable to fix on any plausible mode of proceeding, I determined, +at least, to discover his present condition. Perhaps something might +suggest itself, upon the spot, suited to my purpose. Without delay I +proceeded to the village of Newtown, and, alighting at the door of the +prison, inquired for my father. + +"Sawny Mervyn you want, I suppose," said the keeper. "Poor fellow! He +came into limbo in a crazy condition, and has been a burden on my hands +ever since. After lingering along for some time, he was at last kind +enough to give us the slip. It is just a week since he drank his last +pint--and _died_." + +I was greatly shocked at this intelligence. It was some time before my +reason came to my aid, and showed me that this was an event, on the +whole, and on a disinterested and dispassionate view, not unfortunate. +The keeper knew not my relation to the deceased, and readily recounted +the behaviour of the prisoner and the circumstances of his last hours. + +I shall not repeat the narrative. It is useless to keep alive the sad +remembrance. He was now beyond the reach of my charity or pity; and, +since reflection could answer no beneficial end to him, it was my duty +to divert my thoughts into different channels, and live henceforth for +my own happiness and that of those who were within the sphere of my +influence. + +I was now alone in the world, so far as the total want of kindred +creates solitude. Not one of my blood, nor even of my name, was to be +found in this quarter of the world. Of my mother's kindred I knew +nothing. So far as friendship or service might be claimed from them, to +me they had no existence. I was destitute of all those benefits which +flow from kindred, in relation to protection, advice, or property. My +inheritance was nothing. Not a single relic or trinket in my possession +constituted a memorial of my family. The scenes of my childish and +juvenile days were dreary and desolate. The fields which I was wont to +traverse, the room in which I was born, retained no traces of the past. +They were the property and residence of strangers, who knew nothing of +the former tenants, and who, as I was now told, had hastened to +new-model and transform every thing within and without the habitation. + +These images filled me with melancholy, which, however, disappeared in +proportion as I approached the abode of my beloved girl. Absence had +endeared the image of my _Bess_--I loved to call her so--to my soul. I +could not think of her without a melting softness at my heart, and tears +in which pain and pleasure were unaccountably mingled. As I approached +Curling's house, I strained my sight, in hopes of distinguishing her +form through the evening dusk. + +I had told her of my purpose, by letter. She expected my approach at +this hour, and was stationed, with a heart throbbing with impatience, at +the roadside, near the gate. As soon as I alighted, she rushed into my +arms. + +I found my sweet friend less blithesome and contented than I wished. Her +situation, in spite of the parental and sisterly regards which she +received from the Curlings, was mournful and dreary to her imagination. +Rural business was irksome, and insufficient to fill up her time. Her +life was tiresome, and uniform, and heavy. + +I ventured to blame her discontent, and pointed out the advantages of +her situation. "Whence," said I, "can these dissatisfactions and +repinings arise?" + +"I cannot tell," said she; "I don't know how it is with me. I am always +sorrowful and thoughtful. Perhaps I think too much of my poor father +and of Susan; and yet that can't be it, neither, for I think of them but +seldom; not half as much as I ought, perhaps. I think of nobody almost +but you. Instead of minding my business, or chatting and laughing with +Peggy Curling, I love to get by myself,--to read, over and over, your +letters, or to think how you are employed just then, and how happy I +should be if I were in Fanny Maurice's place. + +"But it is all over now; this visit rewards me for every thing. I wonder +how I could ever be sullen or mopeful. I will behave better, indeed I +will, and be always, as now, a most happy girl." + +The greater part of three days was spent in the society of my friend, in +listening to her relation of all that had happened during my absence, +and in communicating, in my turn, every incident which had befallen +myself. After this I once more returned to the city. + + + + +CHAPTER XLIV. + + +I now set about carrying my plan of life into effect. I began with +ardent zeal and unwearied diligence the career of medical study. I +bespoke the counsels and instructions of my friend; attended him on his +professional visits, and acted, in all practicable cases, as his +substitute. I found this application of time more pleasurable than I had +imagined. My mind gladly expanded itself, as it were, for the reception +of new ideas. My curiosity grew more eager in proportion as it was +supplied with food, and every day added strength to the assurance that I +was no insignificant and worthless being; that I was destined to be +_something_ in this scene of existence, and might some time lay claim to +the gratitude and homage of my fellow men. + +I was far from being, however, monopolized by these pursuits. I was +formed on purpose for the gratification of social intercourse. To love +and to be loved; to exchange hearts and mingle sentiments with all the +virtuous and amiable whom my good fortune had placed within the circuit +of my knowledge, I always esteemed my highest enjoyment and my chief +duty. + +Carlton and his sister, Mrs. Wentworth, and Achsa Fielding, were my most +valuable associates beyond my own family. With all these my +correspondence was frequent and unreserved, but chiefly with the latter. +This lady had dignity and independence, a generous and enlightened +spirit, beyond what her education had taught me to expect. She was +circumspect and cautious in her deportment, and was not prompt to make +advances, or accept them. She withheld her esteem and confidence until +she had full proof of their being deserved. + +I am not sure that her treatment of me was fully conformable to her +rules. My manners, indeed, as she once told me, she had never met with +in another. Ordinary rules were so totally overlooked in my behaviour, +that it seemed impossible for any one who knew me to adhere to them. No +option was left but to admit my claims to friendship and confidence +instantly, or to reject them altogether. + +I was not conscious of this singularity. The internal and undiscovered +character of another weighed nothing with me in the question whether +they should be treated with frankness or reserve. I felt no scruple on +any occasion to disclose every feeling and every event. Any one who +could listen found me willing to talk. Every talker found me willing to +listen. Every one had my sympathy and kindness, _without_ claiming it; +but I _claimed_ the kindness and sympathy of every one. + +Achsa Fielding's countenance bespoke, I thought, a mind worthy to be +known and to be loved. The first moment I engaged her attention, I told +her so. I related the little story of my family, spread out before her +all my reasonings and determinations, my notions of right and wrong, my +fears and wishes. All this was done with sincerity and fervour, with +gestures, actions, and looks, in which I felt as if my whole soul was +visible. Her superior age, sedateness, and prudence, gave my deportment +a filial freedom and affection, and I was fond of calling her "_mamma_." + +I particularly dwelt upon the history of my dear country-girl; painted +her form and countenance; recounted our dialogues, and related all my +schemes for making her wise, and good, and happy. On these occasions my +friend would listen to me with the mutest attention. I showed her the +letters I received, and offered her for her perusal those which I wrote +in answer, before they were sealed and sent. + +On these occasions she would look by turns on my face and away from me. +A varying hue would play upon her cheek, and her eyes were fuller than +was common, of meaning. + +"Such-and-such," I once said, "are my notions; now, what do _you_ +think?" + +"_Think_!" emphatically, and turning somewhat aside, she answered; +"that you are the most--_strange_ of human creatures." + +"But tell me," I resumed, following and searching her averted eyes; "am +I right? would you do thus? Can you help me to improve my girl? I wish +you knew the bewitching little creature. How would that heart overflow +with affection and with gratitude towards you! She should be your +daughter. No--you are too nearly of an age for that. A sister; her +_elder_ sister, you should be. _That_, when there is no other relation, +includes them all. Fond sisters you would be, and I the fond brother of +you both." + +My eyes glistened as I spoke. In truth, I am in that respect a mere +woman. My friend was more powerfully moved. After a momentary struggle +she burst into tears. + +"Good heaven!" said I, "what ails you? Are you not well?" + +Her looks betrayed an unaccountable confusion, from which she quickly +recovered:--"It was folly to be thus affected. Something ailed me, I +believe, but it is past. But, come, you want some lines of finishing the +description of the _Boa_ in La Cepide." + +"True. And I have twenty minutes to spare. Poor Franks is very ill +indeed, but he cannot be seen till nine. We'll read till then." + +Thus on the wings of pleasure and improvement passed my time; not +without some hues, occasionally, of a darker tint. My heart was now and +then detected in sighing. This occurred when my thoughts glanced at the +poor Eliza, and measured, as it were, the interval between us. "We are +too--_too_ far apart," thought I. + +The best solace on these occasions was the company of Mrs. Fielding; her +music, her discourse, or some book which she set me to rehearsing to +her. One evening, when preparing to pay her a visit, I received the +following letter from my Bess:-- + + _To A. Mervyn._ + + CURLING'S, May 6, 1794. + +Where does this letter you promised me stay all this while? Indeed, +Arthur, you torment me more than I deserve, and more than I could ever +find it in my heart to do you. You treat me cruelly. I must say so, +though I offend you. I must write, though you do not deserve that I +should, and though I fear I am in a humour not very fit for writing. I +had better go to my chamber and weep; weep at your--_unkindness_, I was +going to say; but, perhaps, it is only forgetfulness; and yet what can +be more unkind than forgetfulness? I am sure I have never forgotten you. +Sleep itself, which wraps all other images in forgetfulness, only brings +you nearer, and makes me see you more distinctly. + +But where can this letter stay?--Oh! that--hush! foolish girl! If a word +of that kind escape thy lips, Arthur will be angry with thee; and then, +indeed, thou mightest weep in earnest. _Then_ thou wouldst have some +cause for thy tears. More than once already has he almost broken thy +heart with his reproaches. Sore and weak as it now is, any new +reproaches would assuredly break it quite. + +I _will_ be content. I will be as good a housewife and dairywoman, stir +about as briskly, and sing as merrily, as Peggy Curling. Why not? I am +as young, as innocent, and enjoy as good health. Alas! she has reason to +be merry. She has father, mother, brothers; but I have none. And he that +was all these, and more than all these, to me, has--_forgotten_ me. + +But, perhaps, it is some accident that hinders. Perhaps Oliver left the +market earlier than he used to do; or you mistook the house; or perhaps +some poor creature was sick, was taken suddenly ill, and you were busy +in chafing his clay-cold limbs; it fell to you to wipe the clammy drops +from his brow. Such things often happen (don't they, Arthur?) to people +of your trade, and some such thing has happened now; and that was the +reason you did not write. + +And if so, shall I repine at your silence? Oh no! At such a time the +poor Bess might easily be, and ought to be, forgotten. She would not +deserve your love if she could repine at a silence brought about this +way. + +And oh! may it be so! May there be nothing worse than this! If the sick +man--see, Arthur, how my hand trembles. Can you read this scrawl? What +is always bad, my fears make worse than ever. + +I must not think that. And yet, if it be so, if my friend himself be +sick, what will become of me? Of me, that ought to cherish you and +comfort you; that ought to be your nurse. Endure for you your sickness, +when she cannot remove it. + +Oh! that----I _will_ speak out--Oh that this strange scruple had never +possessed you! Why should I _not_ be with you? Who can love you and +serve you as well as I? In sickness and health, I will console and +assist you. Why will you deprive yourself of such a comforter and such +an aid as I would be to you? + +Dear Arthur, think better of it. Let me leave this dreary spot, where, +indeed, as long as I am thus alone, I can enjoy no comfort. Let me come +to you. I will put up with any thing for the sake of seeing you, though +it be but once a day. Any garret or cellar in the dirtiest lane or +darkest alley will be good enough for me. I will think it a palace, so +that I can _but_ see you now and then. + +Do not refuse--do not argue with me, so fond you always are of arguing! +My heart is set upon your compliance. And yet, dearly as I prize your +company, I would not ask it, if I thought there was any thing improper. +You say there is, and you talk about it in a way that I do not +understand. For my sake, you tell me, you refuse; but let me entreat you +to comply for my sake. + +Your pen cannot teach me like your tongue. You write me long letters, +and tell me a great deal in them; but my soul droops when I call to mind +your voice and your looks, and think how long a time must pass before I +see you and hear you again. I have no spirit to think upon the words and +paper before me. My eye and my thought wander far away. + +I bethink me how many questions I might ask you; how many doubts you +might clear up if you were but within hearing. If you were but close to +me; but I cannot ask them here. I am too poor a creature at the pen, +and, somehow or another, it always happens, I can only write about +myself or about you. By the time I have said all this, I have tired my +fingers, and when I set about telling you how this poem and that story +have affected me, I am at a loss for words; I am bewildered and bemazed, +as it were. + +It is not so when we talk to one another. With your arm about me, and +your sweet face close to mine, I can prattle forever. Then my heart +overflows at my lips. After hours thus spent, it seems as if there were +a thousand things still to be said. Then I can tell you what the book +has told me. I can repeat scores of verses by heart, though I heard them +only once read; but it is because _you_ have read them to me. + +Then there is nobody here to answer my questions. They never look into +books. They hate books. They think it waste of time to read. Even Peggy, +who you say has naturally a strong mind, wonders what I can find to +amuse myself in a book. In her playful mood, she is always teasing me to +lay it aside. + +I do not mind her, for I like to read; but, if I did not like it before, +I could not help doing so ever since you told me that nobody could gain +your love who was not fond of books. And yet, though I like it on that +account more than I did, I don't read somehow so earnestly and +understand so well as I used to do when my mind was all at ease, always +frolicsome, and ever upon _tiptoe_, as I may say. + +How strangely (have you not observed it?) I am altered of late!--I, that +was ever light of heart, the very soul of gayety, brimfull of glee, am +now demure as our old _tabby_--and not half as wise. Tabby had wit +enough to keep her paws out of the coals, whereas poor I have--but no +matter what. It will never come to pass, I see that. So many reasons for +every thing! Such looking forward! Arthur, are not men sometimes too +_wise_ to be happy? + +I am now _so_ grave. Not one smile can Peggy sometimes get from me, +though she tries for it the whole day. But I know how it comes. Strange, +indeed, if, losing father and sister, and thrown upon the wide world, +penniless and _friendless_ too, now that _you_ forget me, I should +continue to smile. No. I never shall smile again. At least, while I stay +here, I never shall, I believe. + +If a certain somebody suffer me to live with him,--_near_ him, I +mean,--perhaps the sight of him as he enters the door, perhaps the sound +of his voice, asking, "Where is my Bess?" might produce a smile. Such a +one as the very thought produces now,--yet not, I hope, so transient, +and so quickly followed by a tear. Women are born, they say, to trouble, +and tears are given them for their relief. 'Tis all very true. + +Let it be as I wish, will you? If Oliver bring not back good tidings, if +he bring not a letter from thee, or thy letter still refuses my +request,--I don't know what may happen. Consent, if you love your poor +girl. + + E.H. + + + + +CHAPTER XLV. + + +The reading of this letter, though it made me mournful, did not hinder +me from paying the visit I intended. My friend noticed my discomposure. + +"What, Arthur! thou art quite the 'penseroso' to-night. Come, let me +cheer thee with a song. Thou shalt have thy favourite ditty." She +stepped to the instrument, and, with more than airy lightness, touched +and sung:-- + + "Now knit hands and beat the ground + In a light, fantastic round, + Till the telltale sun descry + Our conceal'd solemnity." + +Her music, though blithsome and aerial, was not sufficient for the end. +My cheerfulness would not return even at her bidding. She again noticed +my sedateness, and inquired into the cause. + +"This girl of mine," said I, "has infected me with her own sadness. +There is a letter I have just received." She took it and began to read. + +Meanwhile, I placed myself before her, and fixed my eyes steadfastly +upon her features. There is no book in which I read with more pleasure +than the face of woman. _That_ is generally more full of meaning, and of +better meaning too, than the hard and inflexible lineaments of man; and +_this_ woman's face has no parallel. + +She read it with visible emotion. Having gone through it, she did not +lift her eye from the paper, but continued silent, as if buried in +thought. After some time, (for I would not interrupt the pause,) she +addressed me thus:-- + +"This girl seems to be very anxious to be with you." + +"As much as I am that she should be so." My friend's countenance +betrayed some perplexity. As soon as I perceived it, I said, "Why are +you thus grave?" Some little confusion appeared, as if she would not +have her gravity discovered. "There again," said I, "new tokens in your +face, my good mamma, of something which you will not mention. Yet, sooth +to say, this is not your first perplexity. I have noticed it before, and +wondered. It happens only when my _Bess_ is introduced. Something in +relation to her it must be, but what I cannot imagine. Why does _her_ +name, particularly, make you thoughtful, disturbed, dejected? There +now--but I must know the reason. You don't agree with me in my notions +of this girl, I fear, and you will not disclose your thoughts." + +By this time, she had gained her usual composure, and, without noticing +my comments on her looks, said, "Since you are both of one mind, why +does she not leave the country?" + +"That cannot be, I believe. Mrs. Stevens says it would be disreputable. +I am no proficient in etiquette, and must, therefore, in affairs of this +kind, be guided by those who are. But would to heaven I were truly her +father or brother! Then all difficulties would be done away." + +"Can you seriously wish that?" + +"Why, no. I believe it would be more rational to wish that the world +would suffer me to act the fatherly or brotherly part, without the +relationship." + +"And is that the only part you wish to act towards this girl?" + +"Certainly, the only part." + +"You surprise me. Have you not confessed your love for her?" + +"I _do_ love her. There is nothing upon earth more dear to me than my +_Bess_." + +"But love is of different kinds. She was loved by her father----" + +"Less than by me. He was a good man, but not of lively feelings. +Besides, he had another daughter, and they shared his love between them; +but she has no sister to share _my_ love. Calamity, too, has endeared +her to me; I am all her consolation, dependence, and hope, and nothing, +surely, can induce me to abandon her." + +"Her reliance upon you for happiness," replied my friend, with a sigh, +"is plain enough." + +"It is; but why that sigh? And yet I understand it. It remonstrates with +me on my incapacity for her support. I know it well, but it is wrong to +be cast down. I have youth, health, and spirits, and ought not to +despair of living for my own benefit and hers; but you sigh again, and +it is impossible to keep my courage when _you_ sigh. Do tell me what you +mean by it." + +"You partly guessed the cause. She trusts to you for happiness, but I +somewhat suspect she trusts in vain." + +"In vain! I beseech you, tell me why you think so." + +"You say you love her: why then not make her your wife?" + +"My wife! Surely her extreme youth, and my destitute condition, will +account for that." + +"She is fifteen; the age of delicate fervour, of inartificial love, and +suitable enough for marriage. As to your condition, you may live more +easily together than apart. She has no false taste or perverse desires +to gratify. She has been trained in simple modes and habits. Besides, +that objection can be removed another way. But are these all your +objections?" + +"Her youth I object to, merely in connection with her mind. She is too +little improved to be my wife. She wants that solidity of mind, that +maturity of intelligence which ten years more may possibly give her, but +which she cannot have at this age." + +"You are a very prudential youth: then you are willing to wait ten years +for a wife?" + +"Does that follow? Because my Bess will not be qualified for wedlock in +less time, does it follow that I must wait for her?" + +"I spoke on the supposition that you loved her." + +"And that is true; but love is satisfied with studying her happiness as +her father or brother. Some years hence, perhaps in half a year, (for +this passion, called wedded or _marriage-wishing_ love, is of sudden +growth,) my mind may change and nothing may content me but to have Bess +for my wife. Yet I do not expect it." + +"Then you are determined against marriage with this girl?" + +"Of course; until that love comes which I feel not now; but which, no +doubt, will come, when Bess has had the benefit of five or eight years +more, unless previously excited by another." + +"All this is strange, Arthur. I have heretofore supposed that you +actually loved (I mean with the _marriage-seeking_ passion) your +_Bess_." + +"I believe I once did; but it happened at a time when marriage was +improper; in the life of her father and sister, and when I had never +known in what female excellence consisted. Since that time my happier +lot has cast me among women so far above Eliza Hadwin,--so far above, +and so widely different from any thing which time is likely to make +her,--that, I own, nothing appears more unlikely than that I shall ever +love her." + +"Are you not a little capricious in that respect, my good friend? You +have praised your _Bess_ as rich in natural endowments; as having an +artless purity and rectitude of mind, which somewhat supersedes the use +of formal education; as being full of sweetness and tenderness, and in +her person a very angel of loveliness." + +"All that is true. I never saw features and shape so delicately +beautiful; I never knew so young a mind so quick-sighted and so firm; +but, nevertheless, she is not the creature whom I would call my _wife_. +My bosom-slave; counsellor; friend; the mother; the pattern; the +tutoress of my children, must be a different creature." + +"But what are the attributes of this _desirable_ which Bess wants?" + +"Every thing she wants. Age, capacity, acquirements, person, features, +hair, complexion, all, all are different from this girl's." + +"And pray of what kind may they be?" + +"I cannot portray them in words--but yes, I can:--The creature whom I +shall worship:--it sounds oddly, but, I verily believe, the sentiment +which I shall feel for my wife will be more akin to worship than any +thing else. I shall never love but such a creature as I now image to +myself, and _such_ a creature will deserve, or almost deserve, worship. +But this creature, I was going to say, must be the exact counterpart, my +good mamma--of _yourself_." + +This was said very earnestly, and with eyes and manner that fully +expressed my earnestness; perhaps my expressions were unwittingly strong +and emphatic, for she started and blushed, but the cause of her +discomposure, whatever it was, was quickly removed, and she said,-- + +"Poor Bess! This will be sad news to thee!" + +"Heaven forbid!" said I; "of what moment can my opinions be to her?" + +"Strange questioner that thou art. Thou knowest that her gentle heart is +touched with love. See how it shows itself in the tender and inimitable +strain of this epistle. Does not this sweet ingenuousness bewitch you?" + +"It does so, and I love, beyond expression, the sweet girl; but my love +is, in some inconceivable way, different from the passion which that +_other_ creature will produce. She is no stranger to my thoughts. I will +impart every thought over and over to her. I question not but I shall +make her happy without forfeiting my own." + +"Would marriage with her be a forfeiture of your happiness?" + +"Not absolutely or forever, I believe. I love her company. Her absence +for a long time is irksome. I cannot express the delight with which I +see and hear her. To mark her features, beaming with vivacity; playful +in her pleasures; to hold her in my arms, and listen to her prattle, +always musically voluble, always sweetly tender, or artlessly +intelligent--and this you will say is the dearest privilege of marriage; +and so it is; and dearly should I prize it; and yet, I fear my heart +would droop as often as that _other_ image should occur to my fancy. For +then, you know, it would occur as something never to be possessed by me. + +"Now, this image might, indeed, seldom occur. The intervals, at least, +would be serene. It would be my interest to prolong these intervals as +much as possible, and my endeavours to this end would, no doubt, have +some effect. Besides, the bitterness of this reflection would be +lessened by contemplating, at the same time, the happiness of my beloved +girl. + +"I should likewise have to remember, that to continue unmarried would +not necessarily secure me the possession of the _other_ good----" + +"But these reflections, my friend," (broke she in upon me,) "are of as +much force to induce you to marry, as to reconcile you to a marriage +already contracted." + +"Perhaps they are. Assuredly, I have not a hope that the _fancied_ +excellence will ever be mine. Such happiness is not the lot of humanity, +and is, least of all, within my reach." + +"Your diffidence," replied my friend, in a timorous accent, "has not +many examples; but your character, without doubt, is all your own, +possessing all and disclaiming all,--is, in few words, your picture." + +"I scarcely understand you. Do you think I ever shall be happy to that +degree which I have imagined? Think you I shall ever meet with an exact +copy of _yourself_?" + +"Unfortunate you will be, if you do not meet with many better. Your +Bess, in personals, is, beyond measure, _my_ superior, and in mind, +allowing for difference in years, quite as much so." + +"But that," returned I, with quickness and fervour, "is not the object. +The very counterpart of _you_ I want; neither worse nor better, nor +different in any thing. Just such form, such features, such hues. Just +that melting voice, and, above all, the same habits of thinking and +conversing. In thought, word, and deed; gesture, look, and form, that +rare and precious creature whom I shall love must be your resemblance. +Your----" + +"Have done with these comparisons," interrupted she, in some hurry, "and +let us return to the country-girl, thy Bess. + +"You once, my friend, wished me to treat this girl of yours as my +sister. Do you know what the duties of a sister are?" + +"They imply no more kindness or affection than you already feel towards +my Bess. Are you not her sister?" + +"I ought to have been so. I ought to have been proud of the relation you +ascribe to me, but I have not performed any of its duties. I blush to +think upon the coldness and perverseness of my heart. With such means as +I possess, of giving happiness to others, I have been thoughtless and +inactive to a strange degree; perhaps, however, it is not yet too late. +Are you still willing to invest me with all the rights of an elder +sister over this girl? And will she consent, think you?" + +"Certainly she will; she has." + +"Then the first act of sistership will be to take her from the country; +from persons on whose kindness she has no natural claim, whose manners +and characters are unlike her own, and with whom no improvement can be +expected, and bring her back to her sister's house and bosom, to provide +for her subsistence and education, and watch over her happiness. + +"I will not be a nominal sister. I will not be a sister by halves. _All_ +the rights of that relation I will have, or none. As for you, you have +claims upon her on which I must be permitted to judge, as becomes the +elder sister, who, by the loss of all other relations, must occupy the +place, possess the rights, and fulfil the duties, of father, mother, and +brother. + +"She has now arrived at an age when longer to remain in a cold and +churlish soil will stunt her growth and wither her blossoms. We must +hasten to transplant her to a genial element and a garden well enclosed. +Having so long neglected this charming plant, it becomes me henceforth +to take her wholly to myself. + +"And now, for it is no longer in her or your power to take back the +gift, since she is fully mine, I will charge you with the office of +conducting her hither. I grant it you as a favour. Will you go?" + +"Go! I will fly!" I exclaimed, in an ecstasy of joy, "on pinions swifter +than the wind. Not the lingering of an instant will I bear. Look! one, +two, three--thirty minutes after nine. I will reach Curling's gate by +the morn's dawn. I will put my girl into a chaise, and by noon she +shall throw herself into the arms of her sister. But first, shall I not, +in some way, manifest my gratitude?" + +My senses were bewildered, and I knew not what I did. I intended to +kneel, as to my mother or my deity; but, instead of that, I clasped her +in my arms, and kissed her lips fervently. I stayed not to discover the +effects of this insanity, but left the room and the house, and, calling +for a moment at Stevens's, left word with the servant, my friend being +gone abroad, that I should not return till the morrow. + +Never was a lighter heart, a gayety more overflowing and more buoyant, +than mine. All cold from a boisterous night, at a chilly season, all +weariness from a rugged and miry road, were charmed away. I might have +ridden; but I could not brook delay, even the delay of inquiring for and +equipping a horse. I might thus have saved myself fatigue, and have lost +no time; but my mind was in too great a tumult for deliberation and +forecast. I saw nothing but the image of my girl, whom my tidings would +render happy. + +The way was longer than my fond imagination had foreseen. I did not +reach Curling's till an hour after sunrise. The distance was full +thirty-five miles. As I hastened up the green lane leading to the house, +I spied my Bess passing through a covered way, between the dwelling and +kitchen. I caught her eye. She stopped and held up her hands, and then +ran into my arms. + +"What means my girl? Why this catching of the breath? Why this sobbing? +Look at me, my love. It is Arthur,--he who has treated you with +forgetfulness, neglect, and cruelty." + +"Oh, do not," she replied, hiding her face with her hand. "One single +reproach, added to my own, will kill me. That foolish, wicked letter--I +could tear my fingers for writing it." + +"But," said I, "I will kiss them;" and put them to my lips. "They have +told me the wishes of my girl. They have enabled me to gratify her +wishes. I have come to carry thee this very moment to town." + +"Lord bless me, Arthur," said she, lost in a sweet confusion, and her +cheeks, always glowing, glowing still more deeply, "indeed, I did not +mean----I meant only----I will stay here----I would rather stay----" + +"It grieves me to hear that," said I, with earnestness; "I thought I was +studying our mutual happiness." + +"It grieves you? Don't say so. I would not grieve you for the world; +but, indeed, indeed, it is too soon. Such a girl as I am not yet fit +to--live in your city." Again she hid her glowing face in my bosom. + +"Sweet consciousness! Heavenly innocence!" thought I; "may Achsa's +conjectures prove false!--You have mistaken my design, for I do not +intend to carry you to town with such a view as you have hinted; but +merely to place you with a beloved friend, with Achsa Fielding, of whom +already you know so much, where we shall enjoy each other's company +without restraint or intermission." + +I then proceeded to disclose to her the plan suggested by my friend, and +to explain all the consequences that would flow from it. I need not say +that she assented to the scheme. She was all rapture and gratitude. +Preparations for departure were easily and speedily made. I hired a +chaise of a neighbouring farmer, and, according to my promise, by noon +the same day, delivered the timid and bashful girl into the arms of her +new sister. + +She was received with the utmost tenderness, not only by Mrs. Fielding, +but by all my friends. Her affectionate heart was encouraged to pour +forth all its feeling as into the bosom of a mother. She was reinspired +with confidence. Her want of experience was supplied by the gentlest +admonitions and instructions. In every plan for her improvement +suggested by her new _mamma_, (for she never called her by any other +name,) she engaged with docility and eagerness; and her behaviour and +her progress exceeded the most sanguine hopes that I had formed as to +the softness of her temper and the acuteness of her genius. + +Those graces which a polished education, and intercourse with the better +classes of society, are adapted to give, my girl possessed, in some +degree, by a native and intuitive refinement and sagacity of mind. All +that was to be obtained from actual observation and instruction was +obtained without difficulty; and in a short time nothing but the +affectionate simplicity and unperverted feelings of the country-girl +bespoke the original condition. + +"What art so busy about, Arthur? Always at thy pen of late. Come, I must +know the fruit of all this toil and all this meditation. I am determined +to scrape acquaintance with Haller and Linnæus. I will begin this very +day. All one's friends, you know, should be ours. Love has made many a +patient, and let me see if it cannot, in my case, make a physician. But, +first, what is all this writing about?" + +"Mrs. Wentworth has put me upon a strange task,--not disagreeable, +however, but such as I should, perhaps, have declined, had not the +absence of my Bess, and her mamma, made the time hang somewhat heavy. I +have, oftener than once, and far more circumstantially than now, told +her my adventures, but she is not satisfied. She wants a written +narrative, for some purpose which she tells me she will disclose to me +hereafter. + +"Luckily, my friend Stevens has saved me more than half the trouble. He +has done me the favour to compile much of my history with his own hand. +I cannot imagine what could prompt him to so wearisome an undertaking; +but he says that adventures and a destiny so singular as mine ought not +to be abandoned to forgetfulness like any vulgar and _every-day_ +existence. Besides, when he wrote it, he suspected that it might be +necessary to the safety of my reputation and my life, from the +consequences of my connection with Welbeck. Time has annihilated that +danger. All enmities and all suspicions are buried with that ill-fated +wretch. Wortley has been won by my behaviour, and confides in my +integrity now as much as he formerly suspected it. I am glad, however, +that the task was performed. It has saved me a world of writing. I had +only to take up the broken thread, and bring it down to the period of my +present happiness; and this was done, just as you tripped along the +entry this morning. + +"To bed, my friend; it is late, and this delicate frame is not half so +able to encounter fatigue as a youth spent in the hay-field and the +dairy might have been expected to be." + +"I will, but let me take these sheets along with me. I will read them, +that I am determined, before I sleep, and watch if you have told the +whole truth." + +"Do so, if you please; but remember one thing. Mrs. Wentworth requested +me to write not as if it were designed for her perusal, but for those +who have no previous knowledge of her or of me. 'Twas an odd request. I +cannot imagine what she means by it; but she never acts without good +reason, and I have done so. And now, withdraw, my dear, and farewell." + + + + +CHAPTER XLVI. + + +Move on, my quill! wait not for my guidance. Reanimated with thy +master's spirit, all airy light! A heyday rapture! A mounting impulse +sways him: lifts him from the earth. + +I must, cost what it will, rein in this upward-pulling, +forward-going--what shall I call it? But there are times, and now is one +of them, when words are poor. + +It will not do--down this hill, up that steep; through this thicket, +over that hedge--I have _laboured_ to fatigue myself: to reconcile me to +repose; to lolling on a sofa; to poring over a book, to any thing that +might win for my heart a respite from these throbs; to deceive me into a +few _tolerable_ moments of forgetfulness. + +Let me see; they tell me this is Monday night. Only three days yet to +come! If thus restless to-day; if my heart thus bounds till its mansion +scarcely can hold it, what must be my state to-morrow! What next day! +What as the hour hastens on; as the sun descends; as my hand touches +hers in sign of wedded unity, of love without interval; of concord +without end! + +I must quell these tumults. They will disable me else. They will wear +out all my strength. They will drain away life itself. But who could +have thought! So soon! Not three months since I first set eyes upon her. +Not three weeks since our plighted love, and only three days to +terminate suspense and give me _all_. + +I must compel myself to quiet; to sleep. I must find some refuge from +anticipations so excruciating. All extremes are agonies. A joy like this +is too big for this narrow tenement. I must thrust it forth; I must bar +and bolt it out for a time, or these frail walls will burst asunder. +The pen is a pacifier. It checks the mind's career; it circumscribes her +wanderings. It traces out and compels us to adhere to one path. It ever +was my friend. Often it has blunted my vexations; hushed my stormy +passions; turned my peevishness to soothing; my fierce revenge to +heart-dissolving pity. + +Perhaps it will befriend me now. It may temper my impetuous wishes; lull +my intoxication; and render my happiness supportable; and, indeed, it +has produced partly this effect already. My blood, within the few +minutes thus employed, flows with less destructive rapidity. My thoughts +range themselves in less disorder. And, now that the conquest is +effected, what shall I say? I must continue at the pen, or shall +immediately relapse. + +What shall I say? Let me look back upon the steps that led me hither. +Let me recount the preliminaries. I cannot do better. + +And first as to Achsa Fielding,--to describe this woman. + +To recount, in brief, so much of her history as has come to my knowledge +will best account for that zeal, almost to idolatry, with which she has, +ever since I thoroughly knew her, been regarded by me. + +Never saw I one to whom the term _lovely_ more truly belonged. And yet +in stature she is too low; in complexion dark and almost sallow; and her +eyes, though black and of piercing lustre, have a cast which I cannot +well explain. It lessens without destroying their lustre and their force +to charm; but all personal defects are outweighed by her heart and her +intellect. There is the secret of her power to entrance the soul of the +listener and beholder. It is not only when she sings that her utterance +is musical. It is not only when the occasion is urgent and the topic +momentous that her eloquence is rich and flowing. They are always so. + +I had vowed to love her and serve her, and been her frequent visitant, +long before I was acquainted with her past life. I had casually picked +up some intelligence, from others, or from her own remarks. I knew very +soon that she was English by birth, and had been only a year and a half +in America; that she had scarcely passed her twenty-fifth year, and was +still embellished with all the graces of youth; that she had been a +wife; but was uninformed whether the knot had been untied by death or +divorce; that she possessed considerable, and even splendid, fortune; +but the exact amount, and all besides these particulars, were unknown to +me till some time after our acquaintance was begun. + +One evening she had been talking very earnestly on the influence +annexed, in Great Britain, to birth, and had given me some examples of +this influence. Meanwhile my eyes were fixed steadfastly on hers. The +peculiarity in their expression never before affected me so strongly. A +vague resemblance to something seen elsewhere, on the same day, +occurred, and occasioned me to exclaim, suddenly, in a pause of her +discourse,-- + +"As I live, my good mamma, those eyes of yours have told me a secret. I +almost think they spoke to me; and I am not less amazed at the +strangeness than at the distinctness of their story." + +"And, pr'ythee, what have they said?" + +"Perhaps I was mistaken. I might have been deceived by a fancied voice, +or have confounded one word with another near akin to it; but let me die +if I did not think they said that you were--_a Jew_." + +At this sound, her features were instantly veiled with the deepest +sorrow and confusion. She put her hand to her eyes, the tears started, +and she sobbed. My surprise at this effect of my words was equal to my +contrition. I besought her to pardon me for having thus unknowingly +alarmed and grieved her. + +After she had regained some composure, she said, "You have not offended, +Arthur. Your surmise was just and natural, and could not always have +escaped you. Connected with that word are many sources of anguish, which +time has not, and never will, dry up; and the less I think of past +events the less will my peace be disturbed. I was desirous that you +should know nothing of me but what you see; nothing but the present and +the future, merely that no allusions might occur in our conversation +which will call up sorrows and regrets that will avail nothing. + +"I now perceive the folly of endeavouring to keep you in ignorance, and +shall therefore, once for all, inform you of what has befallen me, that +your inquiries and suggestions may be made and fully satisfied at once, +and your curiosity have no motive for calling back my thoughts to what I +ardently desire to bury in oblivion. + +"My father was indeed a _Jew_, and one of the most opulent of his nation +in London,--a Portuguese by birth, but came to London when a boy. He had +few of the moral or external qualities of Jews; for I suppose there is +some justice in the obloquy that follows them so closely. He was frugal +without meanness, and cautious in his dealings, without extortion. I +need not fear to say this, for it was the general voice. + +"Me, an only child, and, of course, the darling of my parents, they +trained up in the most liberal manner. My education was purely English. +I learned the same things and of the same masters with my neighbours. +Except frequenting their church and repeating their creed, and partaking +of the same food, I saw no difference between them and me. Hence I grew +more indifferent, perhaps, than was proper, to the distinctions of +religion. They were never enforced upon me. No pains were taken to fill +me with scruples and antipathies. They never stood, as I may say, upon +the threshold. They were often thought upon, but were vague and easily +eluded or forgotten. + +"Hence it was that my heart too readily admitted impressions that more +zeal and more parental caution would have saved me from. They could +scarcely be avoided, as my society was wholly English, and my youth, my +education, and my father's wealth made me an object of much attention. +And the same causes that lulled to sleep my own watchfulness had the +same effect upon that of others. To regret or to praise this remissness +is now too late. Certain it is, that my destiny, and not a happy +destiny, was fixed by it. + +"The fruit of this remissness was a passion for one who fully returned +it. Almost as young as I, who was only sixteen; he knew as little as +myself what obstacles the difference of our births was likely to raise +between us. His father, Sir Ralph Fielding, a man nobly born, high in +office, splendidly allied, could not be expected to consent to the +marriage of his eldest son, in such green youth, to the daughter of an +alien, a Portuguese, a Jew; but these impediments were not seen by my +ignorance, and were overlooked by the youth's passion. + +"But, strange to tell, what common prudence would have so confidently +predicted did not happen. Sir Ralph had a numerous family, likely to be +still more so; had but slender patrimony; the income of his offices +nearly made up his all. The young man was headstrong, impetuous, and +would probably disregard the inclinations of his family. Yet the father +would not consent but on one condition,--that of my admission to the +English Church. + +"No very strenuous opposition to these terms could be expected from me. +At so thoughtless an age, with an education so unfavourable to religious +impressions; swayed, likewise, by the strongest of human passions; made +somewhat impatient, by the company I kept, of the disrepute and scorn to +which the Jewish nation are everywhere condemned, I could not be +expected to be very averse to the scheme. + +"My fears as to what my father's decision would be were soon at an end. +He loved his child too well to thwart her wishes in so essential a +point. Finding in me no scruples, no unwillingness, he thought it absurd +to be scrupulous for me. My own heart having abjured my religion, it was +absurd to make any difficulty about a formal renunciation. These were +his avowed reasons for concurrence, but time showed that he had probably +other reasons, founded, indeed, in his regard for my happiness, but such +as, if they had been known, would probably have strengthened into +invincible the reluctance of my lover's family. + +"No marriage was ever attended with happier presages. The numerous +relations of my husband admitted me with the utmost cordiality among +them. My father's tenderness was unabated by this change, and those +humiliations to which I had before been exposed were now no more; and +every tie was strengthened, at the end of a year, by the feelings of a +_mother_. I had need, indeed, to know a season of happiness, that I +might be fitted to endure the sad reverses that succeeded. One after the +other my disasters came, each one more heavy than the last, and in such +swift succession that they hardly left me time to breathe. + +"I had scarcely left my chamber, I had scarcely recovered my usual +health, and was able to press with true fervour the new and precious +gift to my bosom, when melancholy tidings came. I was in the country, at +the seat of my father-in-law, when the messenger arrived. + +"A shocking tale it was! and told abruptly, with every unpitying +aggravation. I hinted to you once my father's death. The _kind_ of +death--oh! my friend! It was horrible. He was then a placid, venerable +old man; though many symptoms of disquiet had long before been +discovered by my mother's watchful tenderness. Yet none could suspect +him capable of such a deed; for none, so carefully had he conducted his +affairs, suspected the havoc that mischance had made of his property. + +"I, that had so much reason to love my father,--I will leave you to +imagine how I was affected by a catastrophe so dreadful, so +unlooked-for. Much less could I suspect the cause of his despair; yet he +had foreseen his ruin before my marriage; had resolved to defer it, for +his daughter's and his wife's sake, as long as possible, but had still +determined not to survive the day that should reduce him to indigence. +The desperate act was thus preconcerted--thus deliberate. + +"The true state of his affairs was laid open by his death. The failure +of great mercantile houses at Frankfort and Liege was the cause of his +disasters. + +"Thus were my prospects shut in. That wealth which, no doubt, furnished +the chief inducement with my husband's family to concur in his choice, +was now suddenly exchanged for poverty. + +"Bred up, as I had been, in pomp and luxury; conscious that my wealth +was my chief security from the contempt of the proud and bigoted, and my +chief title to the station to which I had been raised, and which I the +more delighted in because it enabled me to confer so great obligations +on my husband,--what reverse could be harder than this, and how much +bitterness was added by it to the grief occasioned by the violent death +of my father! + +"Yet loss of fortune, though it mortified my pride, did not prove my +worst calamity. Perhaps it was scarcely to be ranked with evils, since +it furnished a touchstone by which my husband's affections were to be +tried; especially as the issue of the trial was auspicious; for my +misfortune seemed only to heighten the interest which my character had +made for me in the hearts of all that knew me. The paternal regards of +Sir Ralph had always been tender, but that tenderness seemed now to be +redoubled. + +"New events made this consolation still more necessary. My unhappy +mother!--She was nearer to the dreadful scene when it happened; had no +surviving object to beguile her sorrow; was rendered, by long habit, +more dependent upon fortune than her child. + +"A melancholy, always mute, was the first effect upon my mother. Nothing +could charm her eye, or her ear. Sweet sounds that she once loved, and +especially when her darling child was the warbler, were heard no longer. +How, with streaming eyes, have I sat and watched the dear lady, and +endeavoured to catch her eye, to rouse her attention!--But I must not +think of these things. + +"But even this distress was little in comparison with what was to come. +A frenzy thus mute, motionless, and vacant, was succeeded by fits, +talkative, outrageous, requiring incessant superintendence, restraint, +and even violence. + +"Why led you me thus back to my sad remembrances? Excuse me for the +present. I will tell you the rest some other time; to-morrow." + +To-morrow, accordingly, my friend resumed her story. + +"Let me now make an end," said she, "of my mournful narrative, and +never, I charge you, do any thing to revive it again. + +"Deep as was my despondency, occasioned by these calamities, I was not +destitute of some joy. My husband and my child were lovely and +affectionate. In their caresses, in their welfare, I found peace; and +might still have found it, had there not been----. But why should I open +afresh wounds which time has imperfectly closed? But the story must some +time be told to you, and the sooner it is told and dismissed to +forgetfulness the better. + +"My ill fate led me into company with a woman too well known in the idle +and dissipated circles. Her character was not unknown to me. There was +nothing in her features or air to obviate disadvantageous +prepossessions. I sought not her intercourse; I rather shunned it, as +unpleasing and discreditable, but she would not be repulsed. +Self-invited, she made herself my frequent guest; took unsolicited part +in my concerns; did me many kind offices; and, at length, in spite of my +counter-inclination, won upon my sympathy and gratitude. + +"No one in the world, did I fondly think, had I less reason to fear than +Mrs. Waring. Her character excited not the slightest apprehension for my +own safety. She was upwards of forty, nowise remarkable for grace or +beauty; tawdry in her dress; accustomed to render more conspicuous the +traces of age by her attempts to hide them; the mother of a numerous +family, with a mind but slenderly cultivated; always careful to save +appearances; studiously preserving distance with my husband, and he, +like myself, enduring rather than wishing her society. What could I fear +from the arts of such a one? + +"But alas! the woman had consummate address. Patience, too, that nothing +could tire. Watchfulness that none could detect. Insinuation the wiliest +and most subtle. Thus wound she herself into my affections, by an +unexampled perseverance in seeming kindness; by tender confidence; by +artful glosses of past misconduct; by self-rebukes and feigned +contritions. + +"Never were stratagems so intricate, dissimulation so profound! But +still, that such a one should seduce my husband; young, generous, +ambitious, impatient of contumely and reproach, and surely not +indifferent; before this fatal intercourse, not indifferent to his wife +and child!--Yet so it was! + +"I saw his discontents; his struggles; I heard him curse this woman, and +the more deeply for my attempts, unconscious as I was of her +machinations, to reconcile them to each other, to do away what seemed a +causeless indignation, or antipathy against her. How little I suspected +the nature of the conflict in his heart, between a new passion and the +claims of pride; of conscience and of humanity; the claims of a child +and a wife; a wife, already in affliction, and placing all that yet +remained of happiness, in the firmness of his virtue; in the continuance +of his love; a wife, at the very hour of his meditated flight, full of +terrors at the near approach of an event whose agonies demand a double +share of a husband's supporting, encouraging love---- + +"Good Heaven! For what evils are some of thy creatures reserved! +Resignation to thy decree, in the last and most cruel distress, was, +indeed, a hard task. + +"He was gone. Some unavoidable engagement calling him to Hamburg was +pleaded. Yet to leave me at such an hour! I dared not upbraid, nor +object. The tale was so specious! The fortunes of a friend depended on +his punctual journey. The falsehood of his story too soon made itself +known. He was gone, in company with his detested paramour! + +"Yet, though my vigilance was easily deceived, it was not so with +others. A creditor, who had his bond for three thousand pounds, pursued +and arrested him at Harwich. He was thrown into prison, but his +companion--let me, at least, say that in her praise--would not desert +him. She took lodging near the place of his confinement, and saw him +daily. That, had she not done it, and had my personal condition allowed, +should have been my province. + +"Indignation and grief hastened the painful crisis with me. I did not +weep that the second fruit of this unhappy union saw not the light. I +wept only that this hour of agony was not, to its unfortunate mother, +the last. + +"I felt not anger; I had nothing but compassion for Fielding. Gladly +would I have recalled him to my arms and to virtue; I wrote, adjuring +him, by all our past joys, to return; vowing only gratitude for his new +affection, and claiming only the recompense of seeing him restored to +his family; to liberty; to reputation. + +"But, alas! Fielding had a good but a proud heart. He looked upon his +error with remorse, with self-detestation, and with the fatal belief +that it could not be retrieved; shame made him withstand all my +reasonings and persuasions, and, in the hurry of his feelings, he made +solemn vows that he would, in the moment of restored liberty, abjure his +country and his family forever. He bore indignantly the yoke of his new +attachment, but he strove in vain to shake it off. Her behaviour, always +yielding, doting, supplicative, preserved him in her fetters. Though +upbraided, spurned, and banished from his presence, she would not leave +him, but, by new efforts and new artifices, soothed, appeased, and won +again and kept his tenderness. + +"What my entreaties were unable to effect, his father could not hope to +accomplish. He offered to take him from prison; the creditor offered to +cancel the bond, if he would return to me; but this condition he +refused. All his kindred, and one who had been his bosom-friend from +childhood, joined in beseeching his compliance with these conditions; +but his pride, his dread of my merited reproaches, the merits and +dissuasions of his new companion, whose sacrifices for his sake had not +been small, were obstacles which nothing could subdue. + +"Far, indeed, was I from imposing these conditions. I waited only till, +by certain arrangements, I could gather enough to pay his debts, to +enable him to execute his vow: empty would have been my claims to his +affection, if I could have suffered, with the means of his deliverance +in my hands, my husband to remain a moment in prison. + +"The remains of my father's vast fortune was a jointure of a thousand +pounds a year, settled on my mother, and, after her death, on me. My +mother's helpless condition put this revenue into my disposal. By this +means was I enabled, without the knowledge of my father-in-law or my +husband, to purchase the debt, and dismiss him from prison. He set out +instantly, in company with his paramour, to France. + +"When somewhat recovered from the shock of this calamity, I took up my +abode with my mother. What she had was enough, as you perhaps will +think, for plentiful subsistence; but to us, with habits of a different +kind, it was little better than poverty. That reflection, my father's +memory, my mother's deplorable state, which every year grew worse, and +the late misfortune, were the chief companions of my thoughts. + +"The dear child, whose smiles were uninterrupted by his mother's +afflictions, was some consolation in my solitude. To his instruction and +to my mother's wants all my hours were devoted. I was sometimes not +without the hope of better days. Full as my mind was of Fielding's +merits, convinced by former proofs of his ardent and generous spirit, I +trusted that time and reflection would destroy that spell by which he +was now bound. + +"For some time, the progress of these reflections was not known. In +leaving England, Fielding dropped all correspondence and connection with +his native country. He parted with the woman at Rouen, leaving no trace +behind him by which she might follow him, as she wished to do. She never +returned to England, but died a twelvemonth afterwards in Switzerland. + +"As to me, I had only to muse day and night upon the possible destiny of +this beloved fugitive. His incensed father cared not for him. He had +cast him out of his paternal affections, ceased to make inquiries +respecting him, and even wished never to hear of him again. My boy +succeeded to my husband's place in his grandfather's affections, and in +the hopes and views of the family; and his mother wanted nothing which +their compassionate and respectful love could bestow. + +"Three long and tedious years passed away, and no tidings were received. +Whether he were living or dead, nobody could tell. At length, an English +traveller, going out of the customary road from Italy, met with +Fielding, in a town in the Venaissin. His manners, habits, and language, +had become French. He seemed unwilling to be recognised by an old +acquaintance, but, not being able to avoid this, and becoming gradually +familiar, he informed the traveller of many particulars in his present +situation. It appeared that he had made himself useful to a neighbouring +_seigneur_, in whose _château_ he had long lived on the footing of a +brother. France he had resolved to make his future country, and, among +other changes for that end, he had laid aside his English name, and +taken that of his patron, which was _Perrin_. He had endeavoured to +compensate himself for all other privations, by devoting himself to +rural amusements and to study. + +"He carefully shunned all inquiries respecting me; but, when my name was +mentioned by his friend, who knew well all that had happened, and my +general welfare, together with that of his son, asserted, he showed deep +sensibility, and even consented that I should be made acquainted with +his situation. + +"I cannot describe the effect of this intelligence on me. My hopes of +bringing him back to me were suddenly revived. I wrote him a letter, in +which I poured forth my whole heart; but his answer contained avowals of +all his former resolutions, to which time had only made his adherence +more easy. A second and third letter were written, and an offer made to +follow him to his retreat and share his exile; but all my efforts +availed nothing. He solemnly and repeatedly renounced all the claims of +a husband over me, and absolved me from every obligation as a wife. + +"His part in this correspondence was performed without harshness or +contempt. A strange mixture there was of pathos and indifference; of +tenderness and resolution. Hence I continually derived hope, which time, +however, brought no nearer to certainty. + +"At the opening of the Revolution, the name of Perrin appeared among the +deputies to the constituent assembly for the district in which he +resided. He had thus succeeded in gaining all the rights of a French +citizen; and the hopes of his return became almost extinct; but that, +and every other hope respecting him, has since been totally extinguished +by his marriage with Marguerite d'Almont, a young lady of great merit +and fortune, and a native of Avignon. + +"A long period of suspense was now at an end, and left me in a state +almost as full of anguish as that which our first separation produced. +My sorrows were increased by my mother's death, and, this incident +freeing me from those restraints upon my motions which before existed, I +determined to come to America. + +"My son was now eight years old, and, his grandfather claiming the +province of his instruction, I was persuaded to part with him, that he +might be sent to a distant school. Thus was another tie removed, and, in +spite of the well-meant importunities of my friends, I persisted in my +scheme of crossing the ocean." + +I could not help, at this part of her narration, expressing my surprise +that any motives were strong enough to recommend this scheme. + +"It was certainly a freak of despair. A few months would, perhaps, have +allayed the fresh grief, and reconciled me to my situation; but I would +not pause or deliberate. My scheme was opposed by my friends with great +earnestness. During my voyage, affrighted by the dangers which +surrounded me, and to which I was wholly unused, I heartily repented of +my resolution; but now, methinks, I have reason to rejoice at my +perseverance. I have come into a scene and society so new, I have had so +many claims made upon my ingenuity and fortitude, that my mind has been +diverted in some degree from former sorrows. There are even times when I +wholly forget them, and catch myself indulging in cheerful reveries. + +"I have often reflected with surprise on the nature of my own mind. It +is eight years since my father's violent death. How few of my hours +since that period have been blessed with serenity! How many nights and +days, in hateful and lingering succession, have been bathed in tears and +tormented with regrets! That I am still alive, with so many causes of +death, and with such a slow-consuming malady, is surely to be wondered +at. + +"I believe the worst foes of man, at least of men in grief, are solitude +and idleness. The same eternally-occurring round of objects feeds his +disease, and the effects of mere vacancy and uniformity are sometimes +mistaken for those of grief. Yes, I am glad I came to America. My +relations are importunate for my return, and till lately I had some +thoughts of it; but I think now I shall stay where I am for the rest of +my days. + +"Since I arrived, I am become more of a student than I used to be. I +always loved literature, but never, till of late, had I a mind enough at +ease to read with advantage. I now find pleasure in the occupation which +I never expected to find. + +"You see in what manner I live. The letters which I brought secured me a +flattering reception from the best people in your country; but scenes of +gay resort had nothing to attract me, and I quickly withdrew to that +seclusion in which you now find me. Here, always at leisure, and +mistress of every laudable means of gratification, I am not without the +belief of serene days yet to come." + +I now ventured to inquire what were her latest tidings of her husband. + +"At the opening of the Revolution, I told you, he became a champion of +the people. By his zeal and his efforts he acquired such importance as +to be deputed to the National Assembly. In this post he was the adherent +of violent measures, till the subversion of monarchy; and then, when too +late for his safety, he checked his career." + +"And what has since become of him?" + +She sighed deeply. "You were yesterday reading a list of the proscribed +under Robespierre. I checked you. I had good reason. But this subject +grows too painful; let us change it." + +Some time after, I ventured to renew this topic; and discovered that +Fielding, under his new name of Perrin d'Almont, was among the outlawed +deputies of last year,[1] and had been slain in resisting the officers +sent to arrest him. My friend had been informed that his _wife_, +Marguerite d'Almont, whom she had reason to believe a woman of great +merit, had eluded persecution, and taken refuge in some part of America. +She had made various attempts, but in vain, to find out her retreat. +"Ah!" said I, "you must commission me to find her. I will hunt her +through the continent from Penobscot to Savannah. I will not leave a +nook unsearched." + +[Footnote 1: 1793.] + + + + +CHAPTER XLVII. + + +None will be surprised that, to a woman thus unfortunate and thus +deserving, my heart willingly rendered up all its sympathies; that, as I +partook of all her grief, I hailed, with equal delight, those omens of +felicity which now, at length, seemed to play in her fancy. + +I saw her often,--as often as my engagements would permit, and oftener +than I allowed myself to visit any other. In this I was partly selfish. +So much entertainment, so much of the best instruction, did her +conversation afford me, that I never had enough of it. + +Her experience had been so much larger than mine, and so wholly +different, and she possessed such unbounded facility of recounting all +she had seen and felt, and absolute sincerity and unreserve in this +respect were so fully established between us, that I can imagine nothing +equally instructive and delightful with her conversation. + +Books are cold, jejune, vexatious in their sparingness of information at +one time and their impertinent loquacity at another. Besides, all they +choose to give they give at once; they allow no questions, offer no +further explanations, and bend not to the caprices of our curiosity. +They talk to us behind a screen. Their tone is lifeless and monotonous. +They charm not our attention by mute significances of gesture and looks. +They spread no light upon their meaning by cadences and emphasis and +pause. + +How different was Mrs. Fielding's discourse! So versatile; so bending to +the changes of the occasion; so obsequious to my curiosity, and so +abundant in that very knowledge in which I was most deficient, and on +which I set the most value, the knowledge of the human heart; of +society as it existed in another world, more abundant in the varieties +of customs and characters, than I had ever had the power to witness. + +Partly selfish I have said my motives were, but not so, as long as I saw +that my friend derived pleasure, in her turn, from my company. Not that +I could add directly to her knowledge or pleasure, but that expansion of +heart, that ease of utterance and flow of ideas which always were +occasioned by my approach, were sources of true pleasure of which she +had been long deprived, and for which her privation had given her a +higher relish than ever. + +She lived in great affluence and independence, but made use of her +privileges of fortune chiefly to secure to herself the command of her +own time. She had been long ago tired and disgusted with the dull and +fulsome uniformity and parade of the play-house and ballroom. Formal +visits were endured as mortifications and penances, by which the +delights of privacy and friendly intercourse were by contrast increased. +Music she loved, but never sought it in places of public resort, or from +the skill of mercenary performers; and books were not the least of her +pleasures. + +As to me, I was wax in her hand. Without design and without effort, I +was always of that form she wished me to assume. My own happiness became +a secondary passion, and her gratification the great end of my being. +When with her, I thought not of myself. I had scarcely a separate or +independent existence, since my senses were occupied by her, and my mind +was full of those ideas which her discourse communicated. To meditate on +her looks and words, and to pursue the means suggested by my own +thoughts, or by her, conducive, in any way, to her good, was all my +business. + +"What a fate," said I, at the conclusion of one of our interviews, "has +been yours! But, thank Heaven, the storm has disappeared before the age +of sensibility has gone past, and without drying up every source of +happiness. You are still young; all your powers unimpaired; rich in the +compassion and esteem of the world; wholly independent of the claims and +caprices of others; amply supplied with that means of usefulness, +called money; wise in that experience which only adversity can give. +Past evils and sufferings, if incurred and endured without guilt, if +called to view without remorse, make up the materials of present joy. +They cheer our most dreary hours with the widespread accents of 'well +done,' and they heighten our pleasures into somewhat of celestial +brilliancy, by furnishing a deep, a ruefully-deep, contrast. + +"From this moment, I will cease to weep for you. I will call you the +happiest of women. I will share with you your happiness by witnessing +it; but that shall not content me. I must some way contribute to it. +Tell me how I shall serve you. What can I do to make you happier? Poor +am I in every thing but zeal, but still I may do something. What--pray +tell me, what can I do?" + +She looked at me with sweet and solemn significance. What it was exactly +I could not divine, yet I was strangely affected by it. It was but a +glance, instantly withdrawn. She made me no answer. + +"You must not be silent; you _must_ tell me what I can do for you. +Hitherto I have done nothing. All the service is on your side. Your +conversation has been my study, a delightful study, but the profit has +only been mine. Tell me how I can be grateful: my voice and manner, I +believe, seldom belie my feelings." At this time, I had almost done what +a second thought made me suspect to be unauthorized. Yet I cannot tell +why. My heart had nothing in it but reverence and admiration. Was she +not the substitute of my lost mamma? Would I not have clasped that +beloved shade? Yet the two beings were not just the same, or I should +not, as now, have checked myself, and only pressed her hand to my lips. + +"Tell me," repeated I, "what can I do to serve you? I read to you a +little now, and you are pleased with my reading. I copy for you when you +want the time. I guide the reins for you when you choose to ride. Humble +offices, indeed, though, perhaps, all that a raw youth like me can do +for you; but I can be still more assiduous. I can read several hours in +the day, instead of one. I can write ten times as much as now. + +"Are you not my lost mamma come back again? And yet, not _exactly_ her, +I think. Something different; something better, I believe, if that be +possible. At any rate, methinks I would be wholly yours. I shall be +impatient and uneasy till every act, every thought, every minute, +someway does you good. + +"How!" said I, (her eye, still averted, seemed to hold back the tear +with difficulty, and she made a motion as if to rise,) "have I grieved +you? Have I been importunate? Forgive me if I have offended you." + +Her eyes now overflowed without restraint. She articulated, with +difficulty, "Tears are too prompt with me of late; but they did not +upbraid you. Pain has often caused them to flow, but now +it--is--_pleasure_." + +"What a heart must yours be!" I resumed. "When susceptible of such +pleasures, what pangs must formerly have rent it!--But you are not +displeased, you say, with my importunate zeal. You will accept me as +your own in every thing. Direct me; prescribe to me. There must be +_something_ in which I can be of still more use to you; some way in +which I can be wholly yours----" + +"_Wholly mine!_" she repeated, in a smothered voice, and rising. "Leave +me, Arthur. It is too late for you to be here. It was wrong to stay so +late." + +"I have been wrong; but how too late? I entered but this moment. It is +twilight still; is it not?" + +"No: it is almost twelve. You have been here a long four hours; short +ones I would rather say,--but indeed you must go." + +"What made me so thoughtless of the time? But I will go, yet not till +you forgive me." I approached her with a confidence and for a purpose at +which, upon reflection, I am not a little surprised; but the being +called Mervyn is not the same in her company and in that of another. +What is the difference, and whence comes it? Her words and looks engross +me. My mind wants room for any other object. But why inquire whence the +difference? The superiority of her merits and attractions to all those +whom I knew would surely account for my fervour. Indifference, if I +felt it, would be the only just occasion of wonder. + +The hour was, indeed, too late, and I hastened home. Stevens was waiting +my return with some anxiety. I apologized for my delay, and recounted to +him what had just passed. He listened with more than usual interest. +When I had finished,-- + +"Mervyn," said he, "you seem not be aware of your present situation. +From what you now tell me, and from what you have formerly told me, one +thing seems very plain to me." + +"Pr'ythee, what is it?" + +"Eliza Hadwin:--do you wish--could you bear--to see her the wife of +another?" + +"Five years hence I will answer you. Then my answer may be, 'No; I wish +her only to be mine.' Till then, I wish her only to be my pupil, my +ward, my sister." + +"But these are remote considerations; they are bars to marriage, but not +to love. Would it not molest and disquiet you to observe in her a +passion for another?" + +"It would, but only on her own account; not on mine. At a suitable age +it is very likely I may love her, because it is likely, if she holds on +in her present career, she will then be worthy; but at present, though I +would die to insure her happiness, I have no wish to insure it by +marriage with her." + +"Is there no other whom you love?" + +"No. There is one worthier than all others; one whom I wish the woman +who shall be my wife to resemble in all things." + +"And who is this model?" + +"You know I can only mean Achsa Fielding." + +"If you love her likeness, why not love herself?" + +I felt my heart leap.--"What a thought is that! Love her I _do_ as I +love my God; as I love virtue. To love her in another sense would brand +me for a lunatic." + +"To love her as a woman, then, appears to you an act of folly." + +"In me it would be worse than folly. 'Twould be frenzy." + +"And why?" + +"Why? Really, my friend, you astonish me. Nay, you startle me--for a +question like that implies a doubt in you whether I have not actually +harboured the thought." + +"No," said he, smiling, "presumptuous though you be, you have not, +to-be-sure, reached so high a pitch. But still, though I think you +innocent of so heinous an offence, there is no harm in asking why you +might not love her, and even seek her for a wife." + +Achsa Fielding _my wife_! Good Heaven!--The very sound threw my soul +into unconquerable tumults. "Take care, my friend," continued I, in +beseeching accents, "you may do me more injury than you conceive, by +even starting such a thought." + +"True," said he, "as long as such obstacles exist to your success; so +many incurable objections: for instance, she is six years older than +you." + +"That is an advantage. Her age is what it ought to be." + +"But she has been a wife and mother already." + +"That is likewise an advantage. She has wisdom, because she has +experience. Her sensibilities are stronger, because they have been +exercised and chastened. Her first marriage was unfortunate. The purer +is the felicity she will taste in a second! If her second choice be +propitious, the greater her tenderness and gratitude." + +"But she is a foreigner; independent of control, and rich." + +"All which are blessings to herself, and to him for whom her hand is +reserved; especially if, like me, he is indigent." + +"But then she is unsightly as a _night-hag_, tawny as a Moor, the eye of +a gipsy, low in stature, contemptibly diminutive, scarcely bulk enough +to cast a shadow as she walks, less luxuriance than a charred log, fewer +elasticities than a sheet pebble." + +"Hush! hush! blasphemer!"--(and I put my hand before his mouth)--"have I +not told you that in mind, person, and condition, she is the type after +which my enamoured fancy has modelled my wife?" + +"Oh ho! Then the objection does not lie with you. It lies with her, it +seems. She can find nothing in you to esteem! And, pray, for what faults +do you think she would reject you?" + +"I cannot tell. That she can ever balance for a moment, on such a +question, is incredible. _Me! me!_ That Achsa Fielding should think of +me!" + +"Incredible, indeed! You, who are loathsome in your person, an idiot in +your understanding, a villain in your morals! deformed! withered! vain, +stupid, and malignant. That such a one should choose _you_ for an idol!" + +"Pray, my friend," said I, anxiously, "jest not. What mean you by a hint +of this kind?" + +"I will not jest, then, but will soberly inquire, what faults are they +which make this lady's choice of you so incredible? You are younger than +she, though no one, who merely observed your manners and heard you talk, +would take you to be under thirty. You are poor: are these impediments?" + +"I should think not. I have heard her reason with admirable eloquence +against the vain distinctions of property and nation and rank. They were +once of moment in her eyes; but the sufferings, humiliations, and +reflections of years have cured her of the folly. Her nation has +suffered too much by the inhuman antipathies of religious and political +faction; she, herself, has felt so often the contumelies of the rich, +the high-born, and the bigoted, that----" + +"Pr'ythee, then, what dost imagine her objections to be?" + +"Why--I don't know. The thought was so aspiring; to call her _my wife_ +was a height of bliss the very far-off view of which made my head +dizzy." + +"A height, however, to attain which you suppose only her consent, her +love, to be necessary?" + +"Without doubt, her love is indispensable." + +"Sit down, Arthur, and let us no longer treat this matter lightly. I +clearly see the importance of this moment to this lady's happiness and +yours. It is plain that you love this woman. How could you help it? A +brilliant skin is not hers; nor elegant proportions; nor majestic +stature: yet no creature had ever more power to bewitch. Her manners +have grace and dignity that flow from exquisite feelings, delicate +taste, and the quickest and keenest penetration. She has the wisdom of +men and of books. Her sympathies are enforced by reason, and her +charities regulated by knowledge. She has a woman's age, fortune more +than you wish, and a spotless fame. How could you fail to love her? + +"_You_, who are her chosen friend, who partake her pleasures and share +her employments, on whom she almost exclusively bestows her society and +confidence, and to whom she thus affords the strongest of all indirect +proofs of impassioned esteem,--how could you, with all that firmness of +love, joined with all that discernment of her excellence, how could you +escape the enchantment? + +"You have not thought of marriage. You have not suspected your love. +From the purity of your mind, from the idolatry with which this woman +has inspired you, you have imagined no delight beyond that of enjoying +her society as you now do, and have never fostered a hope beyond this +privilege. + +"How quickly would this tranquillity vanish, and the true state of your +heart be evinced, if a rival should enter the scene and be entertained +with preference! then would the seal be removed, the spell be broken, +and you would awaken to terror and to anguish. + +"Of this, however, there is no danger. Your passion is not felt by you +alone. From her treatment of you, your diffidence disables you from +seeing, but nothing can be clearer to me than that she loves you." + +I started on my feet. A flush of scorching heat flowed to every part of +my frame. My temples began to throb like my heart. I was half delirious, +and my delirium was strangely compounded of fear and hope, of delight +and of terror. + +"What have you done, my friend? You have overturned my peace of mind. +Till now the image of this woman has been followed by complacency and +sober rapture; but your words have dashed the scene with dismay and +confusion. You have raised up wishes, and dreams, and doubts, which +possess me in spite of my reason, in spite of a thousand proofs. + +"Good God! You say she loves,--loves _me_!--me, a boy in age; bred in +clownish ignorance; scarcely ushered into the world; more than +childishly unlearned and raw; a barn-door simpleton; a plough-tail, +kitchen-hearth, turnip-hoeing novice! She, thus splendidly endowed; thus +allied to nobles; thus gifted with arts, and adorned with graces; that +she should choose me, me for the partner of her fortune; her affections; +and her life! It cannot be. Yet, if it were; if your guesses +should--prove--Oaf! madman! To indulge so fatal a chimera! So rash a +dream! + +"My friend! my friend! I feel that you have done me an irreparable +injury. I can never more look her in the face. I can never more frequent +her society. These new thoughts will beset and torment me. My disquiet +will chain up my tongue. That overflowing gratitude; that innocent joy, +unconscious of offence, and knowing no restraint, which have hitherto +been my titles to her favour, will fly from my features and manners. I +shall be anxious, vacant, and unhappy in her presence. I shall dread to +look at her, or to open my lips, lest my mad and unhallowed ambition +should betray itself." + +"Well," replied Stevens, "this scene is quite new. I could almost find +it in my heart to pity you. I did not expect this; and yet, from my +knowledge of your character, I ought, perhaps, to have foreseen it. This +is a necessary part of the drama. A joyous certainty, on these +occasions, must always be preceded by suspenses and doubts, and the +close will be joyous in proportion as the preludes are excruciating. Go +to bed, my good friend, and think of this. Time and a few more +interviews with Mrs. Fielding will, I doubt not, set all to rights." + + + + +CHAPTER XLVIII. + + +I went to my chamber, but what different sensations did I carry into it +from those with which I had left it a few hours before! I stretched +myself on the mattress and put out the light; but the swarm of new +images that rushed on my mind set me again instantly in motion. All was +rapid, vague, and undefined, wearying and distracting my attention. I +was roused as by a divine voice, that said, "Sleep no more! Mervyn shall +sleep no more." + +What chiefly occupied me was a nameless sort of terror. What shall I +compare it to? Methinks, that one falling from a tree overhanging a +torrent, plunged into the whirling eddy, and gasping and struggling +while he sinks to rise no more, would feel just as I did then. Nay, some +such image actually possessed me. Such was one of my reveries, in which +suddenly I stretched my hand, and caught the arm of a chair. This act +called me back to reason, or rather gave my soul opportunity to roam +into a new track equally wild. + +Was it the abruptness of this vision that thus confounded me? was it a +latent error in my moral constitution, which this new conjuncture drew +forth into influence? These were all the tokens of a mind lost to +itself; bewildered; unhinged; plunged into a drear insanity. + +Nothing less could have prompted so fantastically; for, midnight as it +was, my chamber's solitude was not to be supported. After a few turns +across the floor, I left the room, and the house. I walked without +design and in a hurried pace. I posted straight to the house of Mrs. +Fielding. I lifted the latch, but the door did not open. It was, no +doubt, locked. + +"How comes this?" said I, and looked around me. The hour and occasion +were unthought of. Habituated to this path, I had taken it +spontaneously. "How comes this?" repeated I. "Locked upon _me_! but I +will summon them, I warrant me,"--and rung the bell, not timidly or +slightly, but with violence. Some one hastened from above. I saw the +glimmer of a candle through the keyhole. + +"Strange," thought I; "a candle at noonday!"--The door was opened, and +my poor Bess, robed in a careless and hasty manner, appeared. She +started at sight of me, but merely because she did not, in a moment, +recognise me.--"Ah! Arthur, is it you? Come in. My mamma has wanted you +these two hours. I was just going to despatch Philip to tell you to +come." + +"Lead me to her," said I. + +She led the way into the parlour.--"Wait a moment here; I will tell her +you are come;"--and she tripped away. + +Presently a step was heard. The door opened again, and then entered a +man. He was tall, elegant, sedate to a degree of sadness; something in +his dress and aspect that bespoke the foreigner, the Frenchman. + +"What," said he, mildly, "is your business with my wife? She cannot see +you instantly, and has sent me to receive your commands." + +"Your _wife_! I want Mrs. Fielding." + +"True; and Mrs. Fielding is my wife. Thank Heaven, I have come in time +to discover her, and claim her as such." + +I started back. I shuddered. My joints slackened, and I stretched my +hand to catch something by which I might be saved from sinking on the +floor. Meanwhile, Fielding changed his countenance into rage and fury. +He called me villain! bade me avaunt! and drew a shining steel from his +bosom, with which he stabbed me to the heart. I sunk upon the floor, and +all, for a time, was darkness and oblivion! At length, I returned as it +were to life. I opened my eyes. The mists disappeared, and I found +myself stretched upon the bed in my own chamber. I remembered the fatal +blow I had received. I put my hand upon my breast; the spot where the +dagger entered. There were no traces of a wound. All was perfect and +entire. Some miracle had made me whole. + +I raised myself up. I re-examined my body. All around me was hushed, +till a voice from the pavement below proclaimed that it was "past three +o'clock." + +"What!" said I; "has all this miserable pageantry, this midnight +wandering, and this ominous interview, been no more than--_a dream_?" + +It may be proper to mention, in explanation of this scene, and to show +the thorough perturbation of my mind during this night, intelligence +gained some days after from Eliza. She said, that about two o'clock, on +this night, she was roused by a violent ringing of the bell. She was +startled by so unseasonable a summons. She slept in a chamber adjoining +Mrs. Fielding's, and hesitated whether she should alarm her friend; but, +the summons not being repeated, she had determined to forbear. + +Added to this, was the report of Mrs. Stevens, who, on the same night, +about half an hour after I and her husband had retired, imagined that +she heard the street door opened and shut; but, this being followed by +no other consequence, she supposed herself mistaken. I have little doubt +that, in my feverish and troubled sleep, I actually went forth, posted +to the house of Mrs. Fielding, rung for admission, and shortly after +returned to my own apartment. + +This confusion of mind was somewhat allayed by the return of light. It +gave way to more uniform but not less rueful and despondent perceptions. +The image of Achsa filled my fancy, but it was the harbinger of nothing +but humiliation and sorrow. To outroot the conviction of my own +unworthiness, to persuade myself that I was regarded with the tenderness +that Stevens had ascribed to her, that the discovery of my thoughts +would not excite her anger and grief, I felt to be impossible. + +In this state of mind, I could not see her. To declare my feelings would +produce indignation and anguish; to hide them from her scrutiny was not +in my power; yet, what would she think of my estranging myself from her +society? What expedient could I honestly adopt to justify my absence, +and what employments could I substitute for those precious hours +hitherto devoted to her? + +"_This_ afternoon," thought I, "she has been invited to spend at +Stedman's country-house on Schuylkill. She consented to go, and I was to +accompany her. I am fit only for solitude. My behaviour, in her +presence, will be enigmatical, capricious, and morose. I must not go: +yet what will she think of my failure? Not to go will be injurious and +suspicious." + +I was undetermined. The appointed hour arrived. I stood at my +chamber-window, torn by a variety of purposes, and swayed alternately by +repugnant arguments. I several times went to the door of my apartment, +and put my foot upon the first step of the staircase, but as often +paused, reconsidered, and returned to my room. + +In these fluctuations the hour passed. No messenger arrived from Mrs. +Fielding, inquiring into the cause of my delay. Was she offended at my +negligence? Was she sick and disabled from going, or had she changed her +mind? I now remembered her parting words at our last interview. Were +they not susceptible of two constructions? She said my visit was too +long, and bade me begone. Did she suspect my presumption, and is she +determined thus to punish me? + +This terror added anew to all my former anxieties. It was impossible to +rest in this suspense. I would go to her; I would lay before her all the +anguish of my heart; I would not spare myself. She shall not reproach me +more severely than I will reproach myself. I will hear my sentence from +her own lips, and promise unlimited submission to the doom of separation +and exile which she will pronounce. + +I went forth to her house. The drawing-room and summer-house were empty. +I summoned Philip the footman: his mistress was gone to Mr. Stedman's. + +"How?--To Stedman's?--In whose company?" + +"Miss Stedman and her brother called for her in the carriage, and +persuaded her to go with them." + +Now my heart sunk, indeed! Miss Stedman's _brother_! A youth, forward, +gallant, and gay! Flushed with prosperity, and just returned from +Europe, with all the confidence of age, and all the ornaments of +education! She has gone with him, though pre-engaged to me! Poor Arthur, +how art thou despised! + +This information only heightened my impatience. I went away, but +returned in the evening. I waited till eleven, but she came not back. I +cannot justly paint the interval that passed till next morning. It was +void of sleep. On leaving her house, I wandered into the fields. Every +moment increased my impatience. "She will probably spend the morrow at +Stedman's," said I, "and possibly the next day. Why should I wait for +her return? Why not seek her there, and rid myself at once of this +agonizing suspense? Why not go thither now? This night, wherever I spend +it, will be unacquainted with repose. I will go; it is already near +twelve, and the distance is more than eight miles. I will hover near the +house till morning, and then, as early as possible, demand an +interview." + +I was well acquainted with Stedman's villa, having formerly been there +with Mrs. Fielding. I quickly entered its precincts. I went close to the +house; looked mournfully at every window. At one of them a light was to +be seen, and I took various stations to discover, if possible, the +persons within. Methought once I caught a glimpse of a female, whom my +fancy easily imagined to be Achsa. I sat down upon the lawn, some +hundred feet from the house, and opposite the window whence the light +proceeded. I watched it, till at length some one came to the window, +lifted it, and, leaning on her arms, continued to look out. + +The preceding day had been a very sultry one: the night, as usual after +such a day and the fall of a violent shower, was delightfully serene and +pleasant. Where I stood was enlightened by the moon. Whether she saw me +or not, I could hardly tell, or whether she distinguished any thing but +a human figure. + +Without reflecting on what was due to decorum and punctilio, I +immediately drew near the house. I quickly perceived that her attention +was fixed. Neither of us spoke, till I had placed myself directly under +her; I then opened my lips, without knowing in what manner to address +her. She spoke first, and in a startled and anxious voice:-- + +"Who is that?" + +"Arthur Mervyn; he that was two days ago your friend." + +"Mervyn! What is it that brings you here at this hour? What is the +matter? What has happened? Is anybody sick?" + +"All is safe; all are in good health." + +"What then do you come hither for at such an hour?" + +"I meant not to disturb you; I meant not to be seen." + +"Good heavens! How you frighten me! What can be the reason of so +strange----" + +"Be not alarmed. I meant to hover near the house till morning, that I +might see you as early as possible." + +"For what purpose?" + +"I will tell you when we meet, and let that be at five o'clock; the sun +will then be risen; in the cedar-grove under the bank; till when, +farewell." + +Having said this, I prevented all expostulation, by turning the angle of +the house, and hastening towards the shore of the river. I roved about +the grove that I have mentioned. In one part of it is a rustic seat and +table, shrouded by trees and shrubs, and an intervening eminence, from +the view of those in the house. This I designed to be the closing scene +of my destiny. + +Presently I left this spot, and wandered upward through embarrassed and +obscure paths, starting forward or checking my pace, according as my +wayward meditations governed me. Shall I describe my thoughts? +Impossible! It was certainly a temporary loss of reason; nothing less +than madness could lead into such devious tracks, drag me down to so +hopeless, helpless, panicful a depth, and drag me down so suddenly; lay +waste, as at a signal, all my flourishing structures, and reduce them in +a moment to a scene of confusion and horror. + +What did I fear? What did I hope? What did I design? I cannot tell; my +glooms were to retire with the night. The point to which every +tumultuous feeling was linked was the coming interview with Achsa. That +was the boundary of fluctuation and suspense. Here was the sealing and +ratification of my doom. + +I rent a passage through the thicket, and struggled upward till I +reached the edge of a considerable precipice; I laid me down at my +length upon the rock, whose cold and hard surface I pressed with my +bared and throbbing breast. I leaned over the edge; fixed my eyes upon +the water and wept--plentifully; but why? + +May _this_ be my heart's last beat, if I can tell why? + +I had wandered so far from Stedman's, that, when roused by the light, I +had some miles to walk before I could reach the place of meeting. Achsa +was already there. I slid down the rock above, and appeared before her. +Well might she be startled at my wild and abrupt appearance. + +I placed myself, without uttering a word, upon a seat opposite to her, +the table between, and, crossing my arms upon the table, leaned my head +upon them, while my face was turned towards and my eyes fixed upon hers. +I seemed to have lost the power and the inclination to speak. + +She regarded me, at first, with anxious curiosity; after examining my +looks, every emotion was swallowed up in terrified sorrow. "For God's +sake!--what does all this mean? Why am I called to this place? What +tidings, what fearful tidings, do you bring?" + +I did not change my posture or speak. "What," she resumed, "could +inspire all this woe? Keep me not in this suspense, Arthur; these looks +and this silence shock and afflict me too much." + +"Afflict you?" said I, at last; "I come to tell you what, now that I am +here, I cannot tell----" There I stopped. + +"Say what, I entreat you. You seem to be very unhappy--such a +change--from yesterday!" + +"Yes! From yesterday; all then was a joyous calm, and now all is--but +then I knew not my infamy, my guilt----" + +"What words are these, and from you, Arthur? Guilt is to you impossible. +If purity is to be found on earth, it is lodged in your heart. What have +you done?" + +"I have dared--how little you expect the extent of my daring! That such +as I should look upwards with this ambition." + +I stood up, and taking her hands in mine, as she sat, looked earnestly +in her face:--"I come only to beseech your pardon. To tell you my crime, +and then disappear forever; but first let me see if there be any omen of +forgiveness. Your looks--they are kind; heavenly; compassionate still. I +will trust them, I believe; and yet" (letting go her hands, and turning +away) "this offence is beyond the reach even of _your_ mercy." + +"How beyond measure these words and this deportment distress me! Let me +know the worst; I cannot bear to be thus perplexed." + +"Why," said I, turning quickly round and again taking her hands, "that +Mervyn, whom you have honoured and confided in, and blessed with your +sweet regards, has been----" + +"What has he been? Divinely amiable, heroic in his virtue, I am sure. +What else has he been?" + +"This Mervyn has imagined, has dared--will you forgive him?" + +"Forgive you what? Why don't you speak? Keep not my soul in this +suspense." + +"He has dared--But do not think that I am he. Continue to look as now, +and reserve your killing glances, the vengeance of those eyes, as for +one that is absent.----Why, what--you weep, then, at last. That is a +propitious sign. When pity drops from the eyes of our judge, then should +the suppliant approach. Now, in confidence of pardon, I will tell you; +this Mervyn, not content with all you have hitherto granted him, has +dared--to _love_ you; nay, to think of you as of _his wife_!" + +Her eye sunk beneath mine, and, disengaging her hands, she covered her +face with them. + +"I see my fate," said I, in a tone of despair. "Too well did I predict +the effect of this confession; but I will go--_and unforgiven_." + +She now partly uncovered her face. The hand was withdrawn from her +cheek, and stretched towards me. She looked at me. + +"Arthur! I _do_ forgive thee."--With what accents was this uttered! With +what looks! The cheek that was before pale with terror was now crimsoned +over by a different emotion, and delight swam in her eye. + +Could I mistake? My doubts, my new-born fears, made me tremble while I +took the offered hand. + +"Surely," faltered I, "I am not--I cannot be--so blessed." + +There was no need of words. The hand that I held was sufficiently +eloquent. She was still silent. + +"Surely," said I, "my senses deceive me. A bliss like this cannot be +reserved for me. Tell me once more--set my doubting heart at rest." + +She now gave herself to my arms:--"I have not words--Let your own heart +tell you, you have made your Achsa----" + +At this moment, a voice from without (it was Miss Stedman's) called, +"Mrs. Fielding! where are you?" + +My friend started up, and, in a hasty voice, bade me begone. "You must +not be seen by this giddy girl. Come hither this evening, as if by my +appointment, and I will return with you."--She left me in a kind of +trance. I was immovable. My reverie was too delicious;--but let me not +attempt the picture. If I can convey no image of my state previous to +this interview, my subsequent feelings are still more beyond the reach +of my powers to describe. + +Agreeably to the commands of my mistress, I hastened away, evading paths +which might expose me to observation. I speedily made my friends partake +of my joy, and passed the day in a state of solemn but confused rapture. +I did not accurately portray the various parts of my felicity. The whole +rushed upon my soul at once. My conceptions were too rapid and too +comprehensive to be distinct. + +I went to Stedman's in the evening. I found in the accents and looks of +my Achsa new assurances that all which had lately passed was more than a +dream. She made excuses for leaving the Stedmans sooner than ordinary, +and was accompanied to the city by her friend. We dropped Mrs. Fielding +at her own house, and thither, after accompanying Miss Stedman to her +own home, I returned upon the wings of tremulous impatience. + +Now could I repeat every word of every conversation that has since taken +place between us; but why should I do that on paper? Indeed, it could +not be done. All is of equal value, and all could not be comprised but +in many volumes. There needs nothing more deeply to imprint it on my +memory; and, while thus reviewing the past, I should be iniquitously +neglecting the present. What is given to the pen would be taken from +her; and that, indeed, would be--but no need of saying what it would be, +since it is impossible. + +I merely write to allay these tumults which our necessary separation +produces; to aid me in calling up a little patience till the time +arrives when our persons, like our minds, shall be united forever. That +time--may nothing happen to prevent--but nothing can happen. But why +this ominous misgiving just now? My love has infected me with these +unworthy terrors, for she has them too. + +This morning I was relating my dream to her. She started, and grew pale. +A sad silence ensued the cheerfulness that had reigned before:--"Why +thus dejected, my friend?" + +"I hate your dream. It is a horrid thought. Would to God it had never +occurred to you!" + +"Why, surely, you place no confidence in dreams?" + +"I know not where to place confidence; not in my present promises of +joy,"--and she wept. I endeavoured to soothe or console her. Why, I +asked, did she weep? + +"My heart is sore. Former disappointments were so heavy; the hopes which +were blasted were so like my present ones, that the dread of a like +result will intrude upon my thoughts. And now your dream! Indeed, I know +not what to do. I believe I ought still to retract--ought, at least, to +postpone an act so irrevocable." + +Now was I obliged again to go over my catalogue of arguments to induce +her to confirm her propitious resolution to be mine within the week. I, +at last, succeeded, even in restoring her serenity, and beguiling her +fears by dwelling on our future happiness. + +Our household, while we stayed in America,--in a year or two we hie to +Europe,--should be _thus_ composed. Fidelity, and skill, and pure +morals, should be sought out, and enticed, by generous recompenses, into +our domestic service. Duties which should be light and regular.--Such +and such should be our amusements and employments abroad and at home: +and would not this be true happiness? + +"Oh yes--if it may be so." + +"It shall be so; but this is but the humble outline of the scene; +something is still to be added to complete our felicity." + +"What more can be added?" + +"What more? Can Achsa ask what more? She who has not been _only_ a +wife----" + +But why am I indulging this pen-prattle? The hour she fixed for my +return to her is come, and now take thyself away, quill. Lie there, snug +in thy leathern case, till I call for thee, and that will not be very +soon. I believe I will abjure thy company till all is settled with my +love. Yes; I _will_ abjure thee; so let _this_ be thy last office, till +Mervyn has been made the happiest of men. + + +THE END. + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Arthur Mervyn, by Charles Brockden Brown + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ARTHUR MERVYN *** + +***** This file should be named 18508-8.txt or 18508-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/8/5/0/18508/ + +Produced by Graeme Mackreth and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Arthur Mervyn + Or, Memoirs of the Year 1793 + +Author: Charles Brockden Brown + +Release Date: June 5, 2006 [EBook #18508] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ARTHUR MERVYN *** + + + + +Produced by Graeme Mackreth and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<h1>ARTHUR MERVYN;</h1> + +<h5>OR,</h5> + +<h2>MEMOIRS OF THE YEAR 1793.</h2> + +<h4>BY</h4> + +<h3>CHARLES BROCKDEN BROWN.</h3> + +<p>"Fielding, Richardson, and Scott occupied pedestals. In a niche was +deposited the bust of our countryman, the author of 'Arthur Mervyn.'"</p> + +<p style="margin-left: 25em;"><span class="smcap">Nathaniel Hawthorne</span>.</p> + +<p class="center" style="margin-top: 5em;">PHILADELPHIA:</p><p class="center"> DAVID McKAY, PUBLISHER,</p> + +<p class="center">23 <span class="smcap">South Ninth Street</span>.</p><p class="center"> 1889.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>PREFACE.</h3> + + +<p>The evils of pestilence by which this city has lately been afflicted +will probably form an era in its history. The schemes of reformation and +improvement to which they will give birth, or, if no efforts of human +wisdom can avail to avert the periodical visitations of this calamity, +the change in manners and population which they will produce, will be, +in the highest degree, memorable. They have already supplied new and +copious materials for reflection to the physician and the political +economist. They have not been less fertile of instruction to the moral +observer, to whom they have furnished new displays of the influence of +human passions and motives.</p> + +<p>Amidst the medical and political discussions which are now afloat in the +community relative to this topic, the author of these remarks has +ventured to methodize his own reflections, and to weave into an humble +narrative such incidents as appeared to him most instructive and +remarkable among those which came within the sphere of his own +observation. It is every one's duty to profit by all opportunities of +inculcating on mankind the lessons of justice and humanity. The +influences of hope and fear, the trials of fortitude and constancy, +which took place in this city in the autumn of 1793, have, perhaps, +never been exceeded in any age. It is but just to snatch some of these +from oblivion, and to deliver to posterity a brief but faithful sketch +of the condition of this metropolis during that calamitous period. Men +only require to be made acquainted with distress for their compassion +and their charity to be awakened. He that depicts, in lively colours, +the evils of disease and poverty, performs an eminent service to the +sufferers, by calling forth benevolence in those who are able to afford +relief; and he who portrays examples of disinterestedness and +intrepidity confers on virtue the notoriety and homage that are due to +it, and rouses in the spectators the spirit of salutary emulation.</p> + +<p>In the following tale a particular series of adventures is brought to a +close; but these are necessarily connected with the events which +happened subsequent to the period here described. These events are not +less memorable than those which form the subject of the present volume, +and may hereafter be published, either separately or in addition to +this.</p> + +<p class="right">C.B.B.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>ARTHUR MERVYN.</h2> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER I.</h3> + + +<p>I was resident in this city during the year 1793. Many motives +contributed to detain me, though departure was easy and commodious, and +my friends were generally solicitous for me to go. It is not my purpose +to enumerate these motives, or to dwell on my present concerns and +transactions, but merely to compose a narrative of some incidents with +which my situation made me acquainted.</p> + +<p>Returning one evening, somewhat later than usual, to my own house, my +attention was attracted, just as I entered the porch, by the figure of a +man reclining against the wall at a few paces distant. My sight was +imperfectly assisted by a far-off lamp; but the posture in which he sat, +the hour, and the place, immediately suggested the idea of one disabled +by sickness. It was obvious to conclude that his disease was +pestilential. This did not deter me from approaching and examining him +more closely.</p> + +<p>He leaned his head against the wall; his eyes were shut, his hands +clasped in each other, and his body seemed to be sustained in an upright +position merely by the cellar-door against which he rested his left +shoulder. The lethargy into which he was sunk seemed scarcely +interrupted by my feeling his hand and his forehead. His throbbing +temples and burning skin indicated a fever, and his form, already +emaciated, seemed to prove that it had not been of short duration.</p> + +<p>There was only one circumstance that hindered me from forming an +immediate determination in what manner this person should be treated. +My family consisted of my wife and a young child. Our servant-maid had +been seized, three days before, by the reigning malady, and, at her own +request, had been conveyed to the hospital. We ourselves enjoyed good +health, and were hopeful of escaping with our lives. Our measures for +this end had been cautiously taken and carefully adhered to. They did +not consist in avoiding the receptacles of infection, for my office +required me to go daily into the midst of them; nor in filling the house +with the exhalations of gunpowder, vinegar, or tar. They consisted in +cleanliness, reasonable exercise, and wholesome diet. Custom had +likewise blunted the edge of our apprehensions. To take this person into +my house, and bestow upon him the requisite attendance, was the scheme +that first occurred to me. In this, however, the advice of my wife was +to govern me.</p> + +<p>I mentioned the incident to her. I pointed out the danger which was to +be dreaded from such an inmate. I desired her to decide with caution, +and mentioned my resolution to conform myself implicitly to her +decision. Should we refuse to harbour him, we must not forget that there +was a hospital to which he would, perhaps, consent to be carried, and +where he would be accommodated in the best manner the times would admit.</p> + +<p>"Nay," said she, "talk not of hospitals. At least, let him have his +choice. I have no fear about me, for my part, in a case where the +injunctions of duty are so obvious. Let us take the poor, unfortunate +wretch into our protection and care, and leave the consequences to +Heaven."</p> + +<p>I expected and was pleased with this proposal. I returned to the sick +man, and, on rousing him from his stupor, found him still in possession +of his reason. With a candle near, I had an opportunity of viewing him +more accurately.</p> + +<p>His garb was plain, careless, and denoted rusticity. His aspect was +simple and ingenuous, and his decayed visage still retained traces of +uncommon but manlike beauty. He had all the appearances of mere youth, +unspoiled by luxury and uninured to misfortune. I scarcely ever beheld +an object which laid so powerful and sudden a claim to my affection and +succour.</p> + +<p>"You are sick," said I, in as cheerful a tone as I could assume. "Cold +bricks and night-airs are comfortless attendants for one in your +condition. Rise, I pray you, and come into the house. We will try to +supply you with accommodations a little more suitable."</p> + +<p>At this address he fixed his languid eyes upon me. "What would you +have?" said he. "I am very well as I am. While I breathe, which will not +be long, I shall breathe with more freedom here than elsewhere. Let me +alone—I am very well as I am."</p> + +<p>"Nay," said I, "this situation is unsuitable to a sick man. I only ask +you to come into my house, and receive all the kindness that it is in +our power to bestow. Pluck up courage, and I will answer for your +recovery, provided you submit to directions, and do as we would have +you. Rise, and come along with me. We will find you a physician and a +nurse, and all we ask in return is good spirits and compliance."</p> + +<p>"Do you not know," he replied, "what my disease is? Why should you risk +your safety for the sake of one whom your kindness cannot benefit, and +who has nothing to give in return?"</p> + +<p>There was something in the style of this remark, that heightened my +prepossession in his favour, and made me pursue my purpose with more +zeal. "Let us try what we can do for you," I answered. "If we save your +life, we shall have done you some service, and, as for recompense, we +will look to that."</p> + +<p>It was with considerable difficulty that he was persuaded to accept our +invitation. He was conducted to a chamber, and, the criticalness of his +case requiring unusual attention, I spent the night at his bedside.</p> + +<p>My wife was encumbered with the care both of her infant and her family. +The charming babe was in perfect health, but her mother's constitution +was frail and delicate. We simplified the household duties as much as +possible, but still these duties were considerably burdensome to one not +used to the performance, and luxuriously educated. The addition of a +sick man was likely to be productive of much fatigue. My engagements +would not allow me to be always at home, and the state of my patient, +and the remedies necessary to be prescribed, were attended with many +noxious and disgustful circumstances. My fortune would not allow me to +hire assistance. My wife, with a feeble frame and a mind shrinking, on +ordinary occasions, from such offices, with fastidious scrupulousness, +was to be his only or principal nurse.</p> + +<p>My neighbours were fervent in their well-meant zeal, and loud in their +remonstrances on the imprudence and rashness of my conduct. They called +me presumptuous and cruel in exposing my wife and child, as well as +myself, to such imminent hazard, for the sake of one, too, who most +probably was worthless, and whose disease had doubtless been, by +negligence or mistreatment, rendered incurable.</p> + +<p>I did not turn a deaf ear to these censurers. I was aware of all the +inconveniences and perils to which I thus spontaneously exposed myself. +No one knew better the value of that woman whom I called mine, or set a +higher price upon her life, her health, and her ease. The virulence and +activity of this contagion, the dangerous condition of my patient, and +the dubiousness of his character, were not forgotten by me; but still my +conduct in this affair received my own entire approbation. All +objections on the score of my friends were removed by her own +willingness and even solicitude to undertake the province. I had more +confidence than others in the vincibility of this disease, and in the +success of those measures which we had used for our defence against it. +But, whatever were the evils to accrue to us, we were sure of one thing: +namely, that the consciousness of having neglected this unfortunate +person would be a source of more unhappiness than could possibly redound +from the attendance and care that he would claim.</p> + +<p>The more we saw of him, indeed, the more did we congratulate ourselves +on our proceeding. His torments were acute and tedious; but, in the +midst even of delirium, his heart seemed to overflow with gratitude, and +to be actuated by no wish but to alleviate our toil and our danger. He +made prodigious exertions to perform necessary offices for himself. He +suppressed his feelings and struggled to maintain a cheerful tone and +countenance, that he might prevent that anxiety which the sight of his +sufferings produced in us. He was perpetually furnishing reasons why his +nurse should leave him alone, and betrayed dissatisfaction whenever she +entered his apartment.</p> + +<p>In a few days, there were reasons to conclude him out of danger; and, in +a fortnight, nothing but exercise and nourishment were wanting to +complete his restoration. Meanwhile nothing was obtained from him but +general information, that his place of abode was Chester county, and +that some momentous engagement induced him to hazard his safety by +coming to the city in the height of the epidemic.</p> + +<p>He was far from being talkative. His silence seemed to be the joint +result of modesty and unpleasing remembrances. His features were +characterized by pathetic seriousness, and his deportment by a gravity +very unusual at his age. According to his own representation, he was no +more than eighteen years old, but the depth of his remarks indicated a +much greater advance. His name was Arthur Mervyn. He described himself +as having passed his life at the plough-tail and the threshing-floor; as +being destitute of all scholastic instruction; and as being long since +bereft of the affectionate regards of parents and kinsmen.</p> + +<p>When questioned as to the course of life which he meant to pursue upon +his recovery, he professed himself without any precise object. He was +willing to be guided by the advice of others, and by the lights which +experience should furnish. The country was open to him, and he supposed +that there was no part of it in which food could not be purchased by his +labour. He was unqualified, by his education, for any liberal +profession. His poverty was likewise an insuperable impediment. He could +afford to spend no time in the acquisition of a trade. He must labour, +not for future emolument, but for immediate subsistence. The only +pursuit which his present circumstances would allow him to adopt was +that which, he was inclined to believe, was likewise the most eligible. +Without doubt his experience was slender, and it seemed absurd to +pronounce concerning that of which he had no direct knowledge; but so it +was, he could not outroot from his mind the persuasion that to plough, +to sow, and to reap, were employments most befitting a reasonable +creature, and from which the truest pleasure and the least pollution +would flow. He contemplated no other scheme than to return, as soon as +his health should permit, into the country, seek employment where it was +to be had, and acquit himself in his engagements with fidelity and +diligence.</p> + +<p>I pointed out to him various ways in which the city might furnish +employment to one with his qualifications. He had said that he was +somewhat accustomed to the pen. There were stations in which the +possession of a legible hand was all that was requisite. He might add to +this a knowledge of accounts, and thereby procure himself a post in some +mercantile or public office.</p> + +<p>To this he objected, that experience had shown him unfit for the life of +a penman. This had been his chief occupation for a little while, and he +found it wholly incompatible with his health. He must not sacrifice the +end for the means. Starving was a disease preferable to consumption. +Besides, he laboured merely for the sake of living, and he lived merely +for the sake of pleasure. If his tasks should enable him to live, but, +at the same time, bereave him of all satisfaction, they inflicted +injury, and were to be shunned as worse evils than death.</p> + +<p>I asked to what species of pleasure he alluded, with which the business +of a clerk was inconsistent.</p> + +<p>He answered that he scarcely knew how to describe it. He read books when +they came in his way. He had lighted upon few, and, perhaps, the +pleasure they afforded him was owing to their fewness; yet he confessed +that a mode of life which entirely forbade him to read was by no means +to his taste. But this was trivial. He knew how to value the thoughts of +other people, but he could not part with the privilege of observing and +thinking for himself. He wanted business which would suffer at least +nine-tenths of his attention to go free. If it afforded agreeable +employment to that part of his attention which it applied to its own +use, so much the better; but, if it did not, he should not repine. He +should be content with a life whose pleasures were to its pains as nine +are to one. He had tried the trade of a copyist, and in circumstances +more favourable than it was likely he should ever again have an +opportunity of trying it, and he had found that it did not fulfil the +requisite conditions. Whereas the trade of ploughman was friendly to +health, liberty, and pleasure.</p> + +<p>The pestilence, if it may so be called, was now declining. The health of +my young friend allowed him to breathe the fresh air and to walk. A +friend of mine, by name Wortley, who had spent two months from the city, +and to whom, in the course of a familiar correspondence, I had mentioned +the foregoing particulars, returned from his rural excursion. He was +posting, on the evening of the day of his arrival, with a friendly +expedition, to my house, when he overtook Mervyn going in the same +direction. He was surprised to find him go before him into my dwelling, +and to discover, which he speedily did, that this was the youth whom I +had so frequently mentioned to him. I was present at their meeting.</p> + +<p>There was a strange mixture in the countenance of Wortley when they were +presented to each other. His satisfaction was mingled with surprise, and +his surprise with anger. Mervyn, in his turn, betrayed considerable +embarrassment. Wortley's thoughts were too earnest on some topic to +allow him to converse. He shortly made some excuse for taking leave, +and, rising, addressed himself to the youth with a request that he would +walk home with him. This invitation, delivered in a tone which left it +doubtful whether a compliment or menace were meant, augmented Mervyn's +confusion. He complied without speaking, and they went out together;—my +wife and I were left to comment upon the scene.</p> + +<p>It could not fail to excite uneasiness. They were evidently no strangers +to each other. The indignation that flashed from the eyes of Wortley, +and the trembling consciousness of Mervyn, were unwelcome tokens. The +former was my dearest friend, and venerable for his discernment and +integrity. The latter appeared to have drawn upon himself the anger and +disdain of this man. We already anticipated the shock which the +discovery of his unworthiness would produce.</p> + +<p>In a half-hour Mervyn returned. His embarrassment had given place to +dejection. He was always serious, but his features were now overcast by +the deepest gloom. The anxiety which I felt would not allow me to +hesitate long.</p> + +<p>"Arthur," said I, "something is the matter with you. Will you not +disclose it to us? Perhaps you have brought yourself into some dilemma +out of which we may help you to escape. Has any thing of an unpleasant +nature passed between you and Wortley?"</p> + +<p>The youth did not readily answer. He seemed at a loss for a suitable +reply. At length he said that something disagreeable had indeed passed +between him and Wortley. He had had the misfortune to be connected with +a man by whom Wortley conceived himself to be injured. He had borne no +part in inflicting this injury, but had nevertheless been threatened +with ill treatment if he did not make disclosures which, indeed, it was +in his power to make, but which he was bound, by every sanction, to +withhold. This disclosure would be of no benefit to Wortley. It would +rather operate injuriously than otherwise; yet it was endeavoured to be +wrested from him by the heaviest menaces. There he paused.</p> + +<p>We were naturally inquisitive as to the scope of these menaces; but +Mervyn entreated us to forbear any further discussion of this topic. He +foresaw the difficulties to which his silence would subject him. One of +its most fearful consequences would be the loss of our good opinion. He +knew not what he had to dread from the enmity of Wortley. Mr. Wortley's +violence was not without excuse. It was his mishap to be exposed to +suspicions which could only be obviated by breaking his faith. But, +indeed, he knew not whether any degree of explicitness would confute the +charges that were made against him; whether, by trampling on his sacred +promise, he should not multiply his perils instead of lessening their +number. A difficult part had been assigned to him; by much too +difficult for one young, improvident, and inexperienced as he was.</p> + +<p>Sincerity, perhaps, was the best course. Perhaps, after having had an +opportunity for deliberation, he should conclude to adopt it; meanwhile +he entreated permission to retire to his chamber. He was unable to +exclude from his mind ideas which yet could, with no propriety, at least +at present, be made the theme of conversation.</p> + +<p>These words were accompanied with simplicity and pathos, and with tokens +of unaffected distress.</p> + +<p>"Arthur," said I, "you are master of your actions and time in this +house. Retire when you please; but you will naturally suppose us anxious +to dispel this mystery. Whatever shall tend to obscure or malign your +character will of course excite our solicitude. Wortley is not +short-sighted or hasty to condemn. So great is my confidence in his +integrity that I will not promise my esteem to one who has irrecoverably +lost that of Wortley. I am not acquainted with your motives to +concealment, or what it is you conceal; but take the word of one who +possesses that experience which you complain of wanting, that sincerity +is always safest."</p> + +<p>As soon as he had retired, my curiosity prompted me to pay an immediate +visit to Wortley. I found him at home. He was no less desirous of an +interview, and answered my inquiries with as much eagerness as they were +made.</p> + +<p>"You know," said he, "my disastrous connection with Thomas Welbeck. You +recollect his sudden disappearance last July, by which I was reduced to +the brink of ruin. Nay, I am, even now, far from certain that I shall +survive that event. I spoke to you about the youth who lived with him, +and by what means that youth was discovered to have crossed the river in +his company on the night of his departure. This is that very youth.</p> + +<p>"This will account for my emotion at meeting him at your house; I +brought him out with me. His confusion sufficiently indicated his +knowledge of transactions between Welbeck and me. I questioned him as to +the fate of that man. To own the truth, I expected some well-digested +lie; but he merely said that he had promised secrecy on that subject, +and must therefore be excused from giving me any information. I asked +him if he knew that his master, or accomplice, or whatever was his +relation to him, absconded in my debt? He answered that he knew it well; +but still pleaded a promise of inviolable secrecy as to his +hiding-place. This conduct justly exasperated me, and I treated him with +the severity which he deserved. I am half ashamed to confess the +excesses of my passion; I even went so far as to strike him. He bore my +insults with the utmost patience. No doubt the young villain is well +instructed in his lesson. He knows that he may safely defy my power. +From threats I descended to entreaties. I even endeavoured to wind the +truth from him by artifice. I promised him a part of the debt if he +would enable me to recover the whole. I offered him a considerable +reward if he would merely afford me a clue by which I might trace him to +his retreat; but all was insufficient. He merely put on an air of +perplexity and shook his head in token of non-compliance."</p> + +<p>Such was my friend's account of this interview. His suspicions were +unquestionably plausible; but I was disposed to put a more favourable +construction on Mervyn's behaviour. I recollected the desolate and +penniless condition in which I found him, and the uniform complacency +and rectitude of his deportment for the period during which we had +witnessed it. These ideas had considerable influence on my judgment, and +indisposed me to follow the advice of my friend, which was to turn him +forth from my doors that very night.</p> + +<p>My wife's prepossessions were still more powerful advocates of this +youth. She would vouch, she said, before any tribunal, for his +innocence; but she willingly concurred with me in allowing him the +continuance of our friendship on no other condition than that of a +disclosure of the truth. To entitle ourselves to this confidence we were +willing to engage, in our turn, for the observance of secrecy, so far +that no detriment should accrue from this disclosure to himself or his +friend.</p> + +<p>Next morning, at breakfast, our guest appeared with a countenance less +expressive of embarrassment than on the last evening. His attention was +chiefly engaged by his own thoughts, and little was said till the +breakfast was removed. I then reminded him of the incidents of the +former day, and mentioned that the uneasiness which thence arose to us +had rather been increased than diminished by time.</p> + +<p>"It is in your power, my young friend," continued I, "to add still more +to this uneasiness, or to take it entirely away. I had no personal +acquaintance with Thomas Welbeck. I have been informed by others that +his character, for a certain period, was respectable, but that, at +length, he contracted large debts, and, instead of paying them, +absconded. You, it seems, lived with him. On the night of his departure +you are known to have accompanied him across the river, and this, it +seems, is the first of your reappearance on the stage. Welbeck's conduct +was dishonest. He ought doubtless to be pursued to his asylum and be +compelled to refund his winnings. You confess yourself to know his place +of refuge, but urge a promise of secrecy. Know you not that to assist or +connive at the escape of this man was wrong? To have promised to favour +his concealment and impunity by silence was only an aggravation of this +wrong. That, however, is past. Your youth, and circumstances, hitherto +unexplained, may apologize for that misconduct; but it is certainly your +duty to repair it to the utmost of your power. Think whether, by +disclosing what you know, you will not repair it."</p> + +<p>"I have spent most of last night," said the youth, "in reflecting on +this subject. I had come to a resolution, before you spoke, of confiding +to you my simple tale. I perceive in what circumstances I am placed, and +that I can keep my hold of your good opinion only by a candid +deportment. I have indeed given a promise which it was wrong, or rather +absurd, in another to exact, and in me to give; yet none but +considerations of the highest importance would persuade me to break my +promise. No injury will accrue from my disclosure to Welbeck. If there +should, dishonest as he was, that would be a sufficient reason for my +silence. Wortley will not, in any degree, be benefited by any +communication that I can make. Whether I grant or withhold information, +my conduct will have influence only on my own happiness, and that +influence will justify me in granting it.</p> + +<p>"I received your protection when I was friendless and forlorn. You have +a right to know whom it is that you protected. My own fate is connected +with the fate of Welbeck, and that connection, together with the +interest you are pleased to take in my concerns, because they are mine, +will render a tale worthy of attention which will not be recommended by +variety of facts or skill in the display of them.</p> + +<p>"Wortley, though passionate, and, with regard to me, unjust, may yet be +a good man; but I have no desire to make him one of my auditors. You, +sir, may, if you think proper, relate to him afterwards what particulars +concerning Welbeck it may be of importance for him to know; but at +present it will be well if your indulgence shall support me to the end +of a tedious but humble tale."</p> + +<p>The eyes of my Eliza sparkled with delight at this proposal. She +regarded this youth with a sisterly affection, and considered his +candour, in this respect, as an unerring test of his rectitude. She was +prepared to hear and to forgive the errors of inexperience and +precipitation. I did not fully participate in her satisfaction, but was +nevertheless most zealously disposed to listen to his narrative.</p> + +<p>My engagements obliged me to postpone this rehearsal till late in the +evening. Collected then round a cheerful hearth, exempt from all +likelihood of interruption from without, and our babe's unpractised +senses shut up in the sweetest and profoundest sleep, Mervyn, after a +pause of recollection, began.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER II.</h3> + + +<p>My natal soil is Chester county. My father had a small farm, on which he +has been able, by industry, to maintain himself and a numerous family. +He has had many children, but some defect in the constitution of our +mother has been fatal to all of them but me. They died successively as +they attained the age of nineteen or twenty, and, since I have not yet +reached that age, I may reasonably look for the same premature fate. In +the spring of last year my mother followed her fifth child to the grave, +and three months afterwards died herself.</p> + +<p>My constitution has always been frail, and, till the death of my mother, +I enjoyed unlimited indulgence. I cheerfully sustained my portion of +labour, for that necessity prescribed; but the intervals were always at +my own disposal, and, in whatever manner I thought proper to employ +them, my plans were encouraged and assisted. Fond appellations, tones of +mildness, solicitous attendance when I was sick, deference to my +opinions, and veneration for my talents, compose the image which I still +retain of my mother. I had the thoughtlessness and presumption of youth, +and, now that she is gone, my compunction is awakened by a thousand +recollections of my treatment of her. I was indeed guilty of no flagrant +acts of contempt or rebellion. Perhaps her deportment was inevitably +calculated to instil into me a froward and refractory spirit. My faults, +however, were speedily followed by repentance, and, in the midst of +impatience and passion, a look of tender upbraiding from her was always +sufficient to melt me into tears and make me ductile to her will. If +sorrow for her loss be an atonement for the offences which I committed +during her life, ample atonement has been made.</p> + +<p>My father is a man of slender capacity, but of a temper easy and +flexible. He was sober and industrious by habit. He was content to be +guided by the superior intelligence of his wife. Under this guidance he +prospered; but, when that was withdrawn, his affairs soon began to +betray marks of unskilfulness and negligence. My understanding, perhaps, +qualified me to counsel and assist my father, but I was wholly +unaccustomed to the task of superintendence. Besides, gentleness and +fortitude did not descend to me from my mother, and these were +indispensable attributes in a boy who desires to dictate to his +gray-headed parent. Time, perhaps, might have conferred dexterity on me, +or prudence on him, had not a most unexpected event given a different +direction to my views.</p> + +<p>Betty Lawrence was a wild girl from the pine-forests of New Jersey. At +the age of ten years she became a bound servant in this city, and, after +the expiration of her time, came into my father's neighbourhood in +search of employment. She was hired in our family as milkmaid and +market-woman. Her features were coarse, her frame robust, her mind +totally unlettered, and her morals defective in that point in which +female excellence is supposed chiefly to consist. She possessed +super-abundant health and good-humour, and was quite a supportable +companion in the hay-field or the barnyard.</p> + +<p>On the death of my mother, she was exalted to a somewhat higher station. +The same tasks fell to her lot; but the time and manner of performing +them were, in some degree, submitted to her own choice. The cows and the +dairy were still her province; but in this no one interfered with her or +pretended to prescribe her measures. For this province she seemed not +unqualified, and, as long as my father was pleased with her management, +I had nothing to object.</p> + +<p>This state of things continued, without material variation, for several +months. There were appearances in my father's deportment to Betty, which +excited my reflections, but not my fears. The deference which was +occasionally paid to the advice or the claims of this girl was accounted +for by that feebleness of mind which degraded my father, in whatever +scene he should be placed, to be the tool of others. I had no conception +that her claims extended beyond a temporary or superficial +gratification.</p> + +<p>At length, however, a visible change took place in her manners. A +scornful affectation and awkward dignity began to be assumed. A greater +attention was paid to dress, which was of gayer hues and more +fashionable texture. I rallied her on these tokens of a sweetheart, and +amused myself with expatiating to her on the qualifications of her +lover. A clownish fellow was frequently her visitant. His attentions did +not appear to be discouraged. He therefore was readily supposed to be +the man. When pointed out as the favourite, great resentment was +expressed, and obscure insinuations were made that her aim was not quite +so low as that. These denials I supposed to be customary on such +occasions, and considered the continuance of his visits as a sufficient +confutation of them.</p> + +<p>I frequently spoke of Betty, her newly-acquired dignity, and of the +probable cause of her change of manners, to my father. When this theme +was started, a certain coldness and reserve overspread his features. He +dealt in monosyllables, and either laboured to change the subject or +made some excuse for leaving me. This behaviour, though it occasioned +surprise, was never very deeply reflected on. My father was old, and the +mournful impressions which were made upon him by the death of his wife, +the lapse of almost half a year seemed scarcely to have weakened. Betty +had chosen her partner, and I was in daily expectation of receiving a +summons to the wedding.</p> + +<p>One afternoon this girl dressed herself in the gayest manner and seemed +making preparations for some momentous ceremony. My father had directed +me to put the horse to the chaise. On my inquiring whither he was going, +he answered me, in general terms, that he had some business at a few +miles' distance. I offered to go in his stead, but he said that was +impossible. I was proceeding to ascertain the possibility of this when +he left me to go to a field where his workmen were busy, directing me to +inform him when the chaise was ready, to supply his place, while +absent, in overlooking the workmen.</p> + +<p>This office was performed; but before I called him from the field I +exchanged a few words with the milkmaid, who sat on a bench, in all the +primness of expectation, and decked with the most gaudy plumage. I rated +her imaginary lover for his tardiness, and vowed eternal hatred to them +both for not making me a bride's attendant. She listened to me with an +air in which embarrassment was mingled sometimes with exultation and +sometimes with malice. I left her at length, and returned to the house +not till a late hour. As soon as I entered, my father presented Betty to +me as his wife, and desired she might receive that treatment from me +which was due to a mother.</p> + +<p>It was not till after repeated and solemn declarations from both of them +that I was prevailed upon to credit this event. Its effect upon my +feelings may be easily conceived. I knew the woman to be rude, ignorant, +and licentious. Had I suspected this event, I might have fortified my +father's weakness and enabled him to shun the gulf to which he was +tending; but my presumption had been careless of the danger. To think +that such a one should take the place of my revered mother was +intolerable.</p> + +<p>To treat her in any way not squaring with her real merits; to hinder +anger and scorn from rising at the sight of her in her new condition, +was not in my power. To be degraded to the rank of her servant, to +become the sport of her malice and her artifices, was not to be endured. +I had no independent provision; but I was the only child of my father, +and had reasonably hoped to succeed to his patrimony. On this hope I had +built a thousand agreeable visions. I had meditated innumerable projects +which the possession of this estate would enable me to execute. I had no +wish beyond the trade of agriculture, and beyond the opulence which a +hundred acres would give.</p> + +<p>These visions were now at an end. No doubt her own interest would be, to +this woman, the supreme law, and this would be considered as +irreconcilably hostile to mine. My father would easily be moulded to +her purpose, and that act easily extorted from him which should reduce +me to beggary. She had a gross and perverse taste. She had a numerous +kindred, indigent and hungry. On these his substance would speedily be +lavished. Me she hated, because she was conscious of having injured me, +because she knew that I held her in contempt, and because I had detected +her in an illicit intercourse with the son of a neighbour.</p> + +<p>The house in which I lived was no longer my own, nor even my father's. +Hitherto I had thought and acted in it with the freedom of a master; but +now I was become, in my own conceptions, an alien and an enemy to the +roof under which I was born. Every tie which had bound me to it was +dissolved or converted into something which repelled me to a distance +from it. I was a guest whose presence was borne with anger and +impatience.</p> + +<p>I was fully impressed with the necessity of removal, but I knew not +whither to go, or what kind of subsistence to seek. My father had been a +Scottish emigrant, and had no kindred on this side of the ocean. My +mother's family lived in New Hampshire, and long separation had +extinguished all the rights of relationship in her offspring. Tilling +the earth was my only profession, and, to profit by my skill in it, it +would be necessary to become a day-labourer in the service of strangers; +but this was a destiny to which I, who had so long enjoyed the pleasures +of independence and command, could not suddenly reconcile myself. It +occurred to me that the city might afford me an asylum. A short day's +journey would transport me into it. I had been there twice or thrice in +my life, but only for a few hours each time. I knew not a human face, +and was a stranger to its modes and dangers. I was qualified for no +employment, compatible with a town life, but that of the pen. This, +indeed, had ever been a favourite tool with me; and, though it may +appear somewhat strange, it is no less true that I had had nearly as +much practice at the quill as at the mattock. But the sum of my skill +lay in tracing distinct characters. I had used it merely to transcribe +what others had written, or to give form to my own conceptions. Whether +the city would afford me employment, as a mere copyist, sufficiently +lucrative, was a point on which I possessed no means of information.</p> + +<p>My determination was hastened by the conduct of my new mother. My +conjectures as to the course she would pursue with regard to me had not +been erroneous. My father's deportment, in a short time, grew sullen and +austere. Directions were given in a magisterial tone, and any remissness +in the execution of his orders was rebuked with an air of authority. At +length these rebukes were followed by certain intimations that I was now +old enough to provide for myself; that it was time to think of some +employment by which I might secure a livelihood; that it was a shame for +me to spend my youth in idleness; that what he had gained was by his own +labour; and I must be indebted for my living to the same source.</p> + +<p>These hints were easily understood. At first, they excited indignation +and grief. I knew the source whence they sprung, and was merely able to +suppress the utterance of my feelings in her presence. My looks, +however, were abundantly significant, and my company became hourly more +insupportable. Abstracted from these considerations, my father's +remonstrances were not destitute of weight. He gave me being, but +sustenance ought surely to be my own gift. In the use of that for which +he had been indebted to his own exertions, he might reasonably consult +his own choice. He assumed no control over me; he merely did what he +would with his own, and, so far from fettering my liberty, he exhorted +me to use it for my own benefit, and to make provision for myself.</p> + +<p>I now reflected that there were other manual occupations besides that of +the plough. Among these none had fewer disadvantages than that of +carpenter or cabinet-maker. I had no knowledge of this art; but neither +custom, nor law, nor the impenetrableness of the mystery, required me to +serve a seven years' apprenticeship to it. A master in this trade might +possibly be persuaded to take me under his tuition; two or three years +would suffice to give me the requisite skill. Meanwhile my father would, +perhaps, consent to bear the cost of my maintenance. Nobody could live +upon less than I was willing to do.</p> + +<p>I mentioned these ideas to my father; but he merely commended my +intentions without offering to assist me in the execution of them. He +had full employment, he said, for all the profits of his ground. No +doubt, if I would bind myself to serve four or five years, my master +would be at the expense of my subsistence. Be that as it would, I must +look for nothing from him. I had shown very little regard for his +happiness; I had refused all marks of respect to a woman who was +entitled to it from her relation to him. He did not see why he should +treat as a son one who refused what was due to him as a father. He +thought it right that I should henceforth maintain myself. He did not +want my services on the farm, and the sooner I quitted his house the +better.</p> + +<p>I retired from this conference with a resolution to follow the advice +that was given. I saw that henceforth I must be my own protector, and +wondered at the folly that detained me so long under his roof. To leave +it was now become indispensable, and there could be no reason for +delaying my departure for a single hour. I determined to bend my course +to the city. The scheme foremost in my mind was to apprentice myself to +some mechanical trade. I did not overlook the evils of constraint and +the dubiousness as to the character of the master I should choose. I was +not without hopes that accident would suggest a different expedient, and +enable me to procure an immediate subsistence without forfeiting my +liberty.</p> + +<p>I determined to commence my journey the next morning. No wonder the +prospect of so considerable a change in my condition should deprive me +of sleep. I spent the night ruminating on the future, and in painting to +my fancy the adventures which I should be likely to meet. The foresight +of man is in proportion to his knowledge. No wonder that, in my state of +profound ignorance, not the faintest preconception should be formed of +the events that really befell me. My temper was inquisitive, but there +was nothing in the scene to which I was going from which my curiosity +expected to derive gratification. Discords and evil smells, unsavoury +food, unwholesome labour, and irksome companions, were, in my opinion, +the unavoidable attendants of a city.</p> + +<p>My best clothes were of the homeliest texture and shape. My whole stock +of linen consisted of three check shirts. Part of my winter evenings' +employment, since the death of my mother, consisted in knitting my own +stockings. Of these I had three pair, one of which I put on, and the +rest I formed, together with two shirts, into a bundle. Three +quarter-dollar pieces composed my whole fortune in money.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER III.</h3> + + +<p>I rose at the dawn, and, without asking or bestowing a blessing, sallied +forth into the highroad to the city, which passed near the house. I left +nothing behind, the loss of which I regretted. I had purchased most of +my own books with the product of my own separate industry, and, their +number being, of course, small, I had, by incessant application, gotten +the whole of them by rote. They had ceased, therefore, to be of any +further use. I left them, without reluctance, to the fate for which I +knew them to be reserved, that of affording food and habitation to mice.</p> + +<p>I trod this unwonted path with all the fearlessness of youth. In spite +of the motives to despondency and apprehension incident to my state, my +heels were light and my heart joyous. "Now," said I, "I am mounted into +man. I must build a name and a fortune for myself. Strange if this +intellect and these hands will not supply me with an honest livelihood. +I will try the city in the first place; but, if that should fail, +resources are still left to me. I will resume my post in the cornfield +and threshing-floor, to which I shall always have access, and where I +shall always be happy."</p> + +<p>I had proceeded some miles on my journey, when I began to feel the +inroads of hunger. I might have stopped at any farm-house, and have +breakfasted for nothing. It was prudent to husband, with the utmost +care, my slender stock; but I felt reluctance to beg as long as I had +the means of buying, and I imagined that coarse bread and a little milk +would cost little even at a tavern, when any farmer was willing to +bestow them for nothing. My resolution was further influenced by the +appearance of a signpost. What excuse could I make for begging a +breakfast with an inn at hand and silver in my pocket?</p> + +<p>I stopped, accordingly, and breakfasted. The landlord was remarkably +attentive and obliging, but his bread was stale, his milk sour, and his +cheese the greenest imaginable. I disdained to animadvert on these +defects, naturally supposing that his house could furnish no better.</p> + +<p>Having finished my meal, I put, without speaking, one of my pieces into +his hand. This deportment I conceived to be highly becoming, and to +indicate a liberal and manly spirit. I always regarded with contempt a +scrupulous maker of bargains. He received the money with a complaisant +obeisance. "Right," said he. "<i>Just</i> the money, sir. You are on foot, +sir. A pleasant way of travelling, sir. I wish you a good day, sir." So +saying, he walked away.</p> + +<p>This proceeding was wholly unexpected. I conceived myself entitled to at +least three-fourths of it in change. The first impulse was to call him +back, and contest the equity of his demand; but a moment's reflection +showed me the absurdity of such conduct. I resumed my journey with +spirits somewhat depressed. I have heard of voyagers and wanderers in +deserts, who were willing to give a casket of gems for a cup of cold +water. I had not supposed my own condition to be, in any respect, +similar; yet I had just given one-third of my estate for a breakfast.</p> + +<p>I stopped at noon at another inn. I counted on purchasing a dinner for +the same price, since I meant to content myself with the same fare. A +large company was just sitting down to a smoking banquet. The landlord +invited me to join them. I took my place at the table, but was furnished +with bread and milk. Being prepared to depart, I took him aside. "What +is to pay?" said I.—"Did you drink any thing, sir?"—"Certainly. I +drank the milk which was furnished."—"But any liquors, sir?"—-"No."</p> + +<p>He deliberated a moment, and then, assuming an air of disinterestedness, +"'Tis our custom to charge dinner and club; but, as you drank nothing, +we'll let the club go. A mere dinner is half a dollar, sir."</p> + +<p>He had no leisure to attend to my fluctuations. After debating with +myself on what was to be done, I concluded that compliance was best, +and, leaving the money at the bar, resumed my way.</p> + +<p>I had not performed more than half my journey, yet my purse was entirely +exhausted. This was a specimen of the cost incurred by living at an inn. +If I entered the city, a tavern must, at least for some time, be my +abode; but I had not a farthing remaining to defray my charges. My +father had formerly entertained a boarder for a dollar per week, and, in +case of need, I was willing to subsist upon coarser fare and lie on a +harder bed than those with which our guest had been supplied. These +facts had been the foundation of my negligence on this occasion.</p> + +<p>What was now to be done? To return to my paternal mansion was +impossible. To relinquish my design of entering the city and to seek a +temporary asylum, if not permanent employment, at some one of the +plantations within view, was the most obvious expedient. These +deliberations did not slacken my pace. I was almost unmindful of my way, +when I found I had passed Schuylkill at the upper bridge. I was now +within the precincts of the city, and night was hastening. It behooved +me to come to a speedy decision.</p> + +<p>Suddenly I recollected that I had not paid the customary toll at the +bridge; neither had I money wherewith to pay it. A demand of payment +would have suddenly arrested my progress; and so slight an incident +would have precluded that wonderful destiny to which I was reserved. The +obstacle that would have hindered my advance now prevented my return. +Scrupulous honesty did not require me to turn back and awaken the +vigilance of the toll-gatherer. I had nothing to pay, and by returning I +should only double my debt. "Let it stand," said I, "where it does. All +that honour enjoins is to pay when I am able."</p> + +<p>I adhered to the crossways, till I reached Market Street. Night had +fallen, and a triple row of lamps presented a spectacle enchanting and +new. My personal cares were, for a time, lost in the tumultuous +sensations with which I was now engrossed. I had never visited the city +at this hour. When my last visit was paid, I was a mere child. The +novelty which environed every object was, therefore, nearly absolute. I +proceeded with more cautious steps, but was still absorbed in attention +to passing objects. I reached the market-house, and, entering it, +indulged myself in new delight and new wonder.</p> + +<p>I need not remark that our ideas of magnificence and splendour are +merely comparative; yet you may be prompted to smile when I tell you +that, in walking through this avenue, I, for a moment, conceived myself +transported to the hall "pendent with many a row of starry lamps and +blazing crescents fed by naphtha and asphaltos." That this transition +from my homely and quiet retreat had been effected in so few hours wore +the aspect of miracle or magic.</p> + +<p>I proceeded from one of these buildings to another, till I reached their +termination in Front Street. Here my progress was checked, and I sought +repose to my weary limbs by seating myself on a stall. No wonder some +fatigue was felt by me, accustomed as I was to strenuous exertions, +since, exclusive of the minutes spent at breakfast and dinner, I had +travelled fifteen hours and forty-five miles.</p> + +<p>I began now to reflect, with some earnestness, on my condition. I was a +stranger, friendless and moneyless. I was unable to purchase food and +shelter, and was wholly unused to the business of begging. Hunger was +the only serious inconvenience to which I was immediately exposed. I had +no objection to spend the night in the spot where I then sat. I had no +fear that my visions would be troubled by the officers of police. It was +no crime to be without a home; but how should I supply my present +cravings and the cravings of to-morrow?</p> + +<p>At length it occurred to me that one of our country neighbours was +probably at this time in the city. He kept a store as well as cultivated +a farm. He was a plain and well-meaning man, and, should I be so +fortunate as to meet him, his superior knowledge of the city might be of +essential benefit to me in my present forlorn circumstances. His +generosity might likewise induce him to lend me so much as would +purchase one meal. I had formed the resolution to leave the city next +day, and was astonished at the folly that had led me into it; but, +meanwhile, my physical wants must be supplied.</p> + +<p>Where should I look for this man? In the course of conversation I +recollected him to have referred to the place of his temporary abode. It +was an inn; but the sign or the name of the keeper for some time +withstood all my efforts to recall them.</p> + +<p>At length I lighted on the last. It was Lesher's tavern. I immediately +set out in search of it. After many inquiries, I at last arrived at the +door. I was preparing to enter the house when I perceived that my bundle +was gone. I had left it on the stall where I had been sitting. People +were perpetually passing to and fro. It was scarcely possible not to +have been noticed. No one that observed it would fail to make it his +prey. Yet it was of too much value to me to allow me to be governed by a +bare probability. I resolved to lose not a moment in returning.</p> + +<p>With some difficulty I retraced my steps, but the bundle had +disappeared. The clothes were, in themselves, of small value, but they +constituted the whole of my wardrobe; and I now reflected that they were +capable of being transmuted, by the pawn or sale of them, into food. +There were other wretches as indigent as I was, and I consoled myself by +thinking that my shirts and stockings might furnish a seasonable +covering to their nakedness; but there was a relic concealed within this +bundle, the loss of which could scarcely be endured by me. It was the +portrait of a young man who died three years ago at my father's house, +drawn by his own hand.</p> + +<p>He was discovered one morning in the orchard with many marks of insanity +upon him. His air and dress bespoke some elevation of rank and fortune. +My mother's compassion was excited, and, as his singularities were +harmless, an asylum was afforded him, though he was unable to pay for +it. He was constantly declaiming, in an incoherent manner, about some +mistress who had proved faithless. His speeches seemed, however, like +the rantings of an actor, to be rehearsed by rote or for the sake of +exercise. He was totally careless of his person and health, and, by +repeated negligences of this kind, at last contracted a fever of which +he speedily died. The name which he assumed was Clavering.</p> + +<p>He gave no distinct account of his family, but stated, in loose terms, +that they were residents in England, high-born and wealthy. That they +had denied him the woman whom he loved and banished him to America, +under penalty of death if he should dare to return, and that they had +refused him all means of subsistence in a foreign land. He predicted, in +his wild and declamatory way, his own death. He was very skilful at the +pencil, and drew this portrait a short time before his dissolution, +presented it to me, and charged me to preserve it in remembrance of him. +My mother loved the youth because he was amiable and unfortunate, and +chiefly because she fancied a very powerful resemblance between his +countenance and mine. I was too young to build affection on any rational +foundation. I loved him, for whatever reason, with an ardour unusual at +my age, and which this portrait had contributed to prolong and to +cherish.</p> + +<p>In thus finally leaving my home, I was careful not to leave this picture +behind. I wrapped it in paper in which a few elegiac stanzas were +inscribed in my own hand, and with my utmost elegance of penmanship. I +then placed it in a leathern case, which, for greater security, was +deposited in the centre of my bundle. It will occur to you, perhaps, +that it would be safer in some fold or pocket of the clothes which I +wore. I was of a different opinion, and was now to endure the penalty of +my error.</p> + +<p>It was in vain to heap execrations on my negligence, or to consume the +little strength left to me in regrets. I returned once more to the +tavern and made inquiries for Mr. Capper, the person whom I have just +mentioned as my father's neighbour. I was informed that Capper was now +in town; that he had lodged, on the last night, at this house; that he +had expected to do the same to-night, but a gentleman had called ten +minutes ago, whose invitation to lodge with him to-night had been +accepted. They had just gone out together. Who, I asked, was the +gentleman? The landlord had no knowledge of him; he knew neither his +place of abode nor his name. Was Mr. Capper expected to return hither in +the morning? No; he had heard the stranger propose to Mr. Capper to go +with him into the country to-morrow, and Mr. Capper, he believed, had +assented.</p> + +<p>This disappointment was peculiarly severe. I had lost, by my own +negligence, the only opportunity that would offer of meeting my friend. +Had even the recollection of my loss been postponed for three minutes, I +should have entered the house, and a meeting would have been secured. I +could discover no other expedient to obviate the present evil. My heart +began now, for the first time, to droop. I looked back, with nameless +emotions, on the days of my infancy. I called up the image of my mother. +I reflected on the infatuation of my surviving parent, and the +usurpation of the detestable Betty, with horror. I viewed myself as the +most calamitous and desolate of human beings.</p> + +<p>At this time I was sitting in the common room. There were others in the +same apartment, lounging, or whistling, or singing. I noticed them not, +but, leaning my head upon my hand, I delivered myself up to painful and +intense meditation. From this I was roused by some one placing himself +on the bench near me and addressing me thus:—"Pray, sir, if you will +excuse me, who was the person whom you were looking for just now? +Perhaps I can give you the information you want. If I can, you will be +very welcome to it." I fixed my eyes with some eagerness on the person +that spoke. He was a young man, expensively and fashionably dressed, +whose mien was considerably prepossessing, and whose countenance bespoke +some portion of discernment. I described to him the man whom I sought. +"I am in search of the same man myself," said he, "but I expect to meet +him here. He may lodge elsewhere, but he promised to meet me here at +half after nine. I have no doubt he will fulfil his promise, so that you +will meet the gentleman."</p> + +<p>I was highly gratified by this information, and thanked my informant +with some degree of warmth. My gratitude he did not notice, but +continued: "In order to beguile expectation, I have ordered supper; +will you do me the favour to partake with me, unless indeed you have +supped already?" I was obliged, somewhat awkwardly, to decline his +invitation, conscious as I was that the means of payment were not in my +power. He continued, however, to urge my compliance till at length it +was, though reluctantly, yielded. My chief motive was the certainty of +seeing Capper.</p> + +<p>My new acquaintance was exceedingly conversible, but his conversation +was chiefly characterized by frankness and good-humour. My reserve +gradually diminished, and I ventured to inform him, in general terms, of +my former condition and present views. He listened to my details with +seeming attention, and commented on them with some judiciousness. His +statements, however, tended to discourage me from remaining in the city.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile the hour passed and Capper did not appear. I noticed this +circumstance to him with no little solicitude. He said that possibly he +might have forgotten or neglected his engagement. His affair was not of +the highest importance, and might be readily postponed to a future +opportunity. He perceived that my vivacity was greatly damped by this +intelligence. He importuned me to disclose the cause. He made himself +very merry with my distress, when it was at length discovered. As to the +expense of supper, I had partaken of it at his invitation; he therefore +should of course be charged with it. As to lodging, he had a chamber and +a bed, which he would insist upon my sharing with him.</p> + +<p>My faculties were thus kept upon the stretch of wonder. Every new act of +kindness in this man surpassed the fondest expectation that I had +formed. I saw no reason why I should be treated with benevolence. I +should have acted in the same manner if placed in the same +circumstances; yet it appeared incongruous and inexplicable. I know +whence my ideas of human nature were derived. They certainly were not +the offspring of my own feelings. These would have taught me that +interest and duty were blended in every act of generosity.</p> + +<p>I did not come into the world without my scruples and suspicions. I was +more apt to impute kindnesses to sinister and hidden than to obvious and +laudable motives.</p> + +<p>I paused to reflect upon the possible designs of this person. What end +could be served by this behaviour? I was no subject of violence or +fraud. I had neither trinket nor coin to stimulate the treachery of +others. What was offered was merely lodging for the night. Was this an +act of such transcendent disinterestedness as to be incredible? My garb +was meaner than that of my companion, but my intellectual +accomplishments were at least upon a level with his. Why should he be +supposed to be insensible to my claims upon his kindness? I was a youth +destitute of experience, money, and friends; but I was not devoid of all +mental and personal endowments. That my merit should be discovered, even +on such slender intercourse, had surely nothing in it that shocked +belief.</p> + +<p>While I was thus deliberating, my new friend was earnest in his +solicitations for my company. He remarked my hesitation, but ascribed it +to a wrong cause. "Come," said he, "I can guess your objections and can +obviate them. You are afraid of being ushered into company; and people +who have passed their lives like you have a wonderful antipathy to +strange faces; but this is bedtime with our family, so that we can defer +your introduction to them till to-morrow. We may go to our chamber +without being seen by any but servants."</p> + +<p>I had not been aware of this circumstance. My reluctance flowed from a +different cause, but, now that the inconveniences of ceremony were +mentioned, they appeared to me of considerable weight. I was well +pleased that they should thus be avoided, and consented to go along with +him.</p> + +<p>We passed several streets and turned several corners. At last we turned +into a kind of court which seemed to be chiefly occupied by stables. "We +will go," said he, "by the back way into the house. We shall thus save +ourselves the necessity of entering the parlour, where some of the +family may still be."</p> + +<p>My companion was as talkative as ever, but said nothing from which I +could gather any knowledge of the number, character, and condition of +his family.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER IV.</h3> + + +<p>We arrived at a brick wall, through which we passed by a gate into an +extensive court or yard. The darkness would allow me to see nothing but +outlines. Compared with the pigmy dimensions of my father's wooden +hovel, the buildings before me were of gigantic loftiness. The horses +were here far more magnificently accommodated than I had been. By a +large door we entered an elevated hall. "Stay here," said he, "just +while I fetch a light."</p> + +<p>He returned, bearing a candle, before I had time to ponder on my present +situation.</p> + +<p>We now ascended a staircase, covered with painted canvas. No one whose +inexperience is less than mine can imagine to himself the impressions +made upon me by surrounding objects. The height to which this stair +ascended, its dimensions, and its ornaments, appeared to me a +combination of all that was pompous and superb.</p> + +<p>We stopped not till we had reached the third story. Here my companion +unlocked and led the way into a chamber. "This," said he, "is my room; +permit me to welcome you into it."</p> + +<p>I had no time to examine this room before, by some accident, the candle +was extinguished. "Curse upon my carelessness!" said he. "I must go down +again and light the candle. I will return in a twinkling. Meanwhile you +may undress yourself and go to bed." He went out, and, as I afterwards +recollected, locked the door behind him.</p> + +<p>I was not indisposed to follow his advice, but my curiosity would first +be gratified by a survey of the room. Its height and spaciousness were +imperfectly discernible by starlight, and by gleams from a street-lamp. +The floor was covered with a carpet, the walls with brilliant hangings; +the bed and windows were shrouded by curtains of a rich texture and +glossy hues. Hitherto I had merely read of these things. I knew them to +be the decorations of opulence; and yet, as I viewed them, and +remembered where and what I was on the same hour the preceding day, I +could scarcely believe myself awake, or that my senses were not beguiled +by some spell.</p> + +<p>"Where," said I, "will this adventure terminate? I rise on the morrow +with the dawn and speed into the country. When this night is remembered, +how like a vision will it appear! If I tell the tale by a kitchen-fire, +my veracity will be disputed. I shall be ranked with the story-tellers +of Shiraz and Bagdad."</p> + +<p>Though busied in these reflections, I was not inattentive to the +progress of time. Methought my companion was remarkably dilatory. He +went merely to relight his candle, but certainly he might, during this +time, have performed the operation ten times over. Some unforeseen +accident might occasion his delay.</p> + +<p>Another interval passed, and no tokens of his coming. I began now to +grow uneasy. I was unable to account for his detention. Was not some +treachery designed? I went to the door, and found that it was locked. +This heightened my suspicions. I was alone, a stranger, in an upper room +of the house. Should my conductor have disappeared, by design or by +accident, and some one of the family should find me here, what would be +the consequence? Should I not be arrested as a thief, and conveyed to +prison? My transition from the street to this chamber would not be more +rapid than my passage hence to a jail.</p> + +<p>These ideas struck me with panic. I revolved them anew, but they only +acquired greater plausibility. No doubt I had been the victim of +malicious artifice. Inclination, however, conjured up opposite +sentiments, and my fears began to subside. What motive, I asked, could +induce a human being to inflict wanton injury? I could not account for +his delay; but how numberless were the contingencies that might occasion +it!</p> + +<p>I was somewhat comforted by these reflections, but the consolation they +afforded was short-lived. I was listening with the utmost eagerness to +catch the sound of a foot, when a noise was indeed heard, but totally +unlike a step. It was human breath struggling, as it were, for passage. +On the first effort of attention, it appeared like a groan. Whence it +arose I could not tell. He that uttered it was near; perhaps in the +room.</p> + +<p>Presently the same noise was again heard, and now I perceived that it +came from the bed. It was accompanied with a motion like some one +changing his posture. What I at first conceived to be a groan appeared +now to be nothing more than the expiration of a sleeping man. What +should I infer from this incident? My companion did not apprize me that +the apartment was inhabited. Was his imposture a jestful or a wicked +one?</p> + +<p>There was no need to deliberate. There were no means of concealment or +escape. The person would some time awaken and detect me. The interval +would only be fraught with agony, and it was wise to shorten it. Should +I not withdraw the curtain, awake the person, and encounter at once all +the consequences of my situation? I glided softly to the bed, when the +thought occurred, May not the sleeper be a female?</p> + +<p>I cannot describe the mixture of dread and of shame which glowed in my +veins. The light in which such a visitant would be probably regarded by +a woman's fears, the precipitate alarms that might be given, the injury +which I might unknowingly inflict or undeservedly suffer, threw my +thoughts into painful confusion. My presence might pollute a spotless +reputation, or furnish fuel to jealousy.</p> + +<p>Still, though it were a female, would not less injury be done by gently +interrupting her slumber? But the question of sex still remained to be +decided. For this end I once more approached the bed, and drew aside the +silk. The sleeper was a babe. This I discovered by the glimmer of a +street-lamp.</p> + +<p>Part of my solicitudes were now removed. It was plain that this chamber +belonged to a nurse or a mother. She had not yet come to bed. Perhaps it +was a married pair, and their approach might be momently expected. I +pictured to myself their entrance and my own detection. I could imagine +no consequence that was not disastrous and horrible, and from which I +would not at any price escape. I again examined the door, and found that +exit by this avenue was impossible. There were other doors in this room. +Any practicable expedient in this extremity was to be pursued. One of +these was bolted. I unfastened it and found a considerable space within. +Should I immure myself in this closet? I saw no benefit that would +finally result from it. I discovered that there was a bolt on the +inside, which would somewhat contribute to security. This being drawn, +no one could enter without breaking the door.</p> + +<p>I had scarcely paused, when the long-expected sound of footsteps was +heard in the entry. Was it my companion, or a stranger? If it were the +latter, I had not yet mustered courage sufficient to meet him. I cannot +applaud the magnanimity of my proceeding; but no one can expect intrepid +or judicious measures from one in my circumstances. I stepped into the +closet, and closed the door. Some one immediately after unlocked the +chamber door. He was unattended with a light. The footsteps, as they +moved along the carpet, could scarcely be heard.</p> + +<p>I waited impatiently for some token by which I might be governed. I put +my ear to the keyhole, and at length heard a voice, but not that of my +companion, exclaim, somewhat above a whisper, "Smiling cherub! safe and +sound, I see. Would to God my experiment may succeed, and that thou +mayest find a mother where I have found a wife!" There he stopped. He +appeared to kiss the babe, and, presently retiring, locked the door +after him.</p> + +<p>These words were capable of no consistent meaning. They served, at +least, to assure me that I had been treacherously dealt with. This +chamber, it was manifest, did not belong to my companion. I put up +prayers to my Deity that he would deliver me from these toils. What a +condition was mine! Immersed in palpable darkness! shut up in this +unknown recess! lurking like a robber!</p> + +<p>My meditations were disturbed by new sounds. The door was unlocked, +more than one person entered the apartment, and light streamed through +the keyhole. I looked; but the aperture was too small and the figures +passed too quickly to permit me the sight of them. I bent my ear, and +this imparted some more authentic information.</p> + +<p>The man, as I judged by the voice, was the same who had just departed. +Rustling of silk denoted his companion to be female. Some words being +uttered by the man, in too low a key to be overheard, the lady burst +into a passion of tears. He strove to comfort her by soothing tones and +tender appellations. "How can it be helped?" said he. "It is time to +resume your courage. Your duty to yourself and to me requires you to +subdue this unreasonable grief."</p> + +<p>He spoke frequently in this strain, but all he said seemed to have +little influence in pacifying the lady. At length, however, her sobs +began to lessen in vehemence and frequency. He exhorted her to seek for +some repose. Apparently she prepared to comply, and conversation was, +for a few minutes, intermitted.</p> + +<p>I could not but advert to the possibility that some occasion to examine +the closet, in which I was immured, might occur. I knew not in what +manner to demean myself if this should take place. I had no option at +present. By withdrawing myself from view I had lost the privilege of an +upright deportment. Yet the thought of spending the night in this spot +was not to be endured.</p> + +<p>Gradually I began to view the project of bursting from the closet, and +trusting to the energy of truth and of an artless tale, with more +complacency. More than once my hand was placed upon the bolt, but +withdrawn by a sudden faltering of resolution. When one attempt failed, +I recurred once more to such reflections as were adapted to renew my +purpose.</p> + +<p>I preconcerted the address which I should use. I resolved to be +perfectly explicit; to withhold no particular of my adventures from the +moment of my arrival. My description must necessarily suit some person +within their knowledge. All I should want was liberty to depart; but, if +this were not allowed, I might at least hope to escape any ill +treatment, and to be confronted with my betrayer. In that case I did not +fear to make him the attester of my innocence.</p> + +<p>Influenced by these considerations, I once more touched the lock. At +that moment the lady shrieked, and exclaimed, "Good God! What is here?" +An interesting conversation ensued. The object that excited her +astonishment was the child. I collected from what passed that the +discovery was wholly unexpected by her. Her husband acted as if equally +unaware of this event. He joined in all her exclamations of wonder and +all her wild conjectures. When these were somewhat exhausted, he +artfully insinuated the propriety of bestowing care upon the little +foundling. I now found that her grief had been occasioned by the recent +loss of her own offspring. She was, for some time, averse to her +husband's proposal, but at length was persuaded to take the babe to her +bosom and give it nourishment.</p> + +<p>This incident had diverted my mind from its favourite project, and +filled me with speculations on the nature of the scene. One explication +was obvious, that the husband was the parent of this child, and had used +this singular expedient to procure for it the maternal protection of his +wife. It would soon claim from her all the fondness which she +entertained for her own progeny. No suspicion probably had yet, or would +hereafter, occur with regard to its true parent. If her character be +distinguished by the usual attributes of women, the knowledge of this +truth may convert her love into hatred. I reflected with amazement on +the slightness of that thread by which human passions are led from their +true direction. With no less amazement did I remark the complexity of +incidents by which I had been empowered to communicate to her this +truth. How baseless are the structures of falsehood, which we build in +opposition to the system of eternal nature! If I should escape +undetected from this recess, it will be true that I never saw the face +of either of these persons, and yet I am acquainted with the most secret +transaction of their lives.</p> + +<p>My own situation was now more critical than before. The lights were +extinguished, and the parties had sought repose. To issue from the +closet now would be imminently dangerous. My councils were again at a +stand and my designs frustrated. Meanwhile the persons did not drop +their discourse, and I thought myself justified in listening. Many facts +of the most secret and momentous nature were alluded to. Some allusions +were unintelligible. To others I was able to affix a plausible meaning, +and some were palpable enough. Every word that was uttered on that +occasion is indelibly imprinted on my memory. Perhaps the singularity of +my circumstances, and my previous ignorance of what was passing in the +world, contributed to render me a greedy listener. Most that was said I +shall overlook; but one part of the conversation it will be necessary to +repeat.</p> + +<p>A large company had assembled that evening at their house. They +criticized the character and manners of several. At last the husband +said, "What think you of the nabob? Especially when he talked about +riches? How artfully he encourages the notion of his poverty! Yet not a +soul believes him. I cannot for my part account for that scheme of his. +I half suspect that his wealth flows from a bad source, since he is so +studious of concealing it."</p> + +<p>"Perhaps, after all," said the lady, "you are mistaken as to his +wealth."</p> + +<p>"Impossible," exclaimed the other. "Mark how he lives. Have I not seen +his bank-account? His deposits, since he has been here, amount to no +less than half a million."</p> + +<p>"Heaven grant that it be so!" said the lady, with a sigh. "I shall think +with less aversion of your scheme. If poor Tom's fortune be made, and he +not the worse, or but little the worse on that account, I shall think it +on the whole best."</p> + +<p>"That," replied he, "is what reconciles me to the scheme. To him thirty +thousand are nothing."</p> + +<p>"But will he not suspect you of some hand in it?"</p> + +<p>"How can he? Will I not appear to lose as well as himself? Tom is my +brother, but who can be supposed to answer for a brother's integrity? +but he cannot suspect either of us. Nothing less than a miracle can +bring our plot to light. Besides, this man is not what he ought to be. +He will, some time or other, come out to be a grand impostor. He makes +money by other arts than bargain and sale. He has found his way, by some +means, to the Portuguese treasury."</p> + +<p>Here the conversation took a new direction, and, after some time, the +silence of sleep ensued.</p> + +<p>Who, thought I, is this nabob who counts his dollars by half-millions, +and on whom it seems as if some fraud was intended to be practised? +Amidst their wariness and subtlety, how little are they aware that their +conversation has been overheard! By means as inscrutable as those which +conducted me hither, I may hereafter be enabled to profit by this +detection of a plot. But, meanwhile, what was I to do? How was I to +effect my escape from this perilous asylum?</p> + +<p>After much reflection, it occurred to me that to gain the street without +exciting their notice was not utterly impossible. Sleep does not +commonly end of itself, unless at a certain period. What impediments +were there between me and liberty which I could not remove, and remove +with so much caution as to escape notice? Motion and sound inevitably go +together; but every sound is not attended to. The doors of the closet +and the chamber did not creak upon their hinges. The latter might be +locked. This I was able to ascertain only by experiment. If it were so, +yet the key was probably in the lock, and might be used without much +noise.</p> + +<p>I waited till their slow and hoarser inspirations showed them to be both +asleep. Just then, on changing my position, my head struck against some +things which depended from the ceiling of the closet. They were +implements of some kind which rattled against each other in consequence +of this unlucky blow. I was fearful lest this noise should alarm, as the +closet was little distant from the bed. The breathing of one instantly +ceased, and a motion was made as if the head were lifted from the +pillow. This motion, which was made by the husband, awaked his +companion, who exclaimed, "What is the matter?"</p> + +<p>"Something, I believe," replied he, "in the closet. If I was not +dreaming, I heard the pistols strike against each other as if some one +was taking them down."</p> + +<p>This intimation was well suited to alarm the lady. She besought him to +ascertain the matter. This, to my utter dismay, he at first consented to +do, but presently observed that probably his ears had misinformed him. +It was hardly possible that the sound proceeded from them. It might be a +rat, or his own fancy might have fashioned it. It is not easy to +describe my trepidations while this conference was holding. I saw how +easily their slumber was disturbed. The obstacles to my escape were less +surmountable than I had imagined.</p> + +<p>In a little time all was again still. I waited till the usual tokens of +sleep were distinguishable. I once more resumed my attempt. The bolt was +withdrawn with all possible slowness; but I could by no means prevent +all sound. My state was full of inquietude and suspense; my attention +being painfully divided between the bolt and the condition of the +sleepers. The difficulty lay in giving that degree of force which was +barely sufficient. Perhaps not less than fifteen minutes were consumed +in this operation. At last it was happily effected, and the door was +cautiously opened.</p> + +<p>Emerging as I did from utter darkness, the light admitted into three +windows produced, to my eyes, a considerable illumination. Objects +which, on my first entrance into this apartment, were invisible, were +now clearly discerned. The bed was shrouded by curtains, yet I shrunk +back into my covert, fearful of being seen. To facilitate my escape, I +put off my shoes. My mind was so full of objects of more urgent moment, +that the propriety of taking them along with me never occurred. I left +them in the closet.</p> + +<p>I now glided across the apartment to the door. I was not a little +discouraged by observing that the key was wanting. My whole hope +depended on the omission to lock it. In my haste to ascertain this +point, I made some noise which again roused one of the sleepers. He +started, and cried, "Who is there?"</p> + +<p>I now regarded my case as desperate, and detection as inevitable. My +apprehensions, rather than my caution, kept me mute. I shrunk to the +wall, and waited in a kind of agony for the moment that should decide my +fate.</p> + +<p>The lady was again roused. In answer to her inquiries, her husband said +that some one, he believed, was at the door, but there was no danger of +their entering, for he had locked it, and the key was in his pocket.</p> + +<p>My courage was completely annihilated by this piece of intelligence. My +resources were now at an end. I could only remain in this spot till the +morning light, which could be at no great distance, should discover me. +My inexperience disabled me from estimating all the perils of my +situation. Perhaps I had no more than temporary inconveniences to dread. +My intention was innocent, and I had been betrayed into my present +situation, not by my own wickedness, but the wickedness of others.</p> + +<p>I was deeply impressed with the ambiguousness which would necessarily +rest upon my motives, and the scrutiny to which they would be subjected. +I shuddered at the bare possibility of being ranked with thieves. These +reflections again gave edge to my ingenuity in search of the means of +escape. I had carefully attended to the circumstances of their entrance. +Possibly the act of locking had been unnoticed; but was it not likewise +possible that this person had been mistaken? The key was gone. Would +this have been the case if the door were unlocked?</p> + +<p>My fears, rather than my hopes, impelled me to make the experiment. I +drew back the latch, and, to my unspeakable joy, the door opened.</p> + +<p>I passed through and explored my way to the staircase. I descended till +I reached the bottom. I could not recollect with accuracy the position +of the door leading into the court, but, by carefully feeling along the +wall with my hands, I at length discovered it. It was fastened by +several bolts and a lock. The bolts were easily withdrawn, but the key +was removed. I knew not where it was deposited. I thought I had reached +the threshold of liberty, but here was an impediment that threatened to +be insurmountable.</p> + +<p>But, if doors could not be passed, windows might be unbarred. I +remembered that my companion had gone into a door on the left hand, in +search of a light. I searched for this door. Fortunately it was fastened +only by a bolt. It admitted me into a room which I carefully explored +till I reached a window. I will not dwell on my efforts to unbar this +entrance. Suffice it to say that, after much exertion and frequent +mistakes, I at length found my way into the yard, and thence passed into +the court.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER V.</h3> + + +<p>Now I was once more on public ground. By so many anxious efforts had I +disengaged myself from the perilous precincts of private property. As +many stratagems as are usually made to enter a house had been employed +by me to get out of it. I was urged to the use of them by my fears; yet, +so far from carrying off spoil, I had escaped with the loss of an +essential part of my dress.</p> + +<p>I had now leisure to reflect. I seated myself on the ground and reviewed +the scenes through which I had just passed. I began to think that my +industry had been misemployed. Suppose I had met the person on his first +entrance into his chamber? Was the truth so utterly wild as not to have +found credit? Since the door was locked, and there was no other avenue, +what other statement but the true one would account for my being found +there? This deportment had been worthy of an honest purpose. My betrayer +probably expected that this would be the issue of his jest. My rustic +simplicity, he might think, would suggest no more ambiguous or elaborate +expedient. He might likewise have predetermined to interfere if my +safety had been really endangered.</p> + +<p>On the morrow the two doors of the chamber and the window below would be +found unclosed. They will suspect a design to pillage, but their +searches will terminate in nothing but in the discovery of a pair of +clumsy and dusty shoes in the closet. Now that I was safe I could not +help smiling at the picture which my fancy drew of their anxiety and +wonder. These thoughts, however, gave place to more momentous +considerations.</p> + +<p>I could not imagine to myself a more perfect example of indigence than I +now exhibited. There was no being in the city on whose kindness I had +any claim. Money I had none, and what I then wore comprised my whole +stock of movables. I had just lost my shoes, and this loss rendered my +stockings of no use. My dignity remonstrated against a barefoot +pilgrimage, but to this, necessity now reconciled me. I threw my +stockings between the bars of a stable-window, belonging, as I thought, +to the mansion I had just left. These, together with my shoes, I left to +pay the cost of my entertainment.</p> + +<p>I saw that the city was no place for me. The end that I had had in view, +of procuring some mechanical employment, could only be obtained by the +use of means, but what means to pursue I knew not. This night's perils +and deceptions gave me a distaste to a city life, and my ancient +occupations rose to my view enhanced by a thousand imaginary charms, I +resolved forthwith to strike into the country.</p> + +<p>The day began now to dawn. It was Sunday, and I was desirous of eluding +observation. I was somewhat recruited by rest, though the languors of +sleeplessness oppressed me. I meant to throw myself on the first lap of +verdure I should meet, and indulge in sleep that I so much wanted. I +knew not the direction of the streets; but followed that which I first +entered from the court, trusting that, by adhering steadily to one +course, I should some time reach the fields. This street, as I +afterwards found, tended to Schuylkill, and soon extricated me from +houses. I could not cross this river without payment of toll. It was +requisite to cross it in order to reach that part of the country whither +I was desirous of going; but how should I effect my passage? I knew of +no ford, and the smallest expense exceeded my capacity. Ten thousand +guineas and a farthing were equally remote from nothing, and nothing was +the portion allotted to me.</p> + +<p>While my mind was thus occupied, I turned up one of the streets which +tend northward. It was, for some length, uninhabited and unpaved. +Presently I reached a pavement, and a painted fence, along which a row +of poplars was planted. It bounded a garden into which a knot-hole +permitted me to pry. The enclosure was a charming green, which I saw +appended to a house of the loftiest and most stately order. It seemed +like a recent erection, had all the gloss of novelty, and exhibited, to +my unpractised eyes, the magnificence of palaces. My father's dwelling +did not equal the height of one story, and might be easily comprised in +one-fourth of those buildings which here were designed to accommodate +the menials. My heart dictated the comparison between my own condition +and that of the proprietors of this domain. How wide and how impassable +was the gulf by which we were separated! This fair inheritance had +fallen to one who, perhaps, would only abuse it to the purposes of +luxury, while I, with intentions worthy of the friend of mankind, was +doomed to wield the flail and the mattock.</p> + +<p>I had been entirely unaccustomed to this strain of reflection. My books +had taught me the dignity and safety of the middle path, and my darling +writer abounded with encomiums on rural life. At a distance from luxury +and pomp, I viewed them, perhaps, in a just light. A nearer scrutiny +confirmed my early prepossessions; but, at the distance at which I now +stood, the lofty edifices, the splendid furniture, and the copious +accommodations of the rich excited my admiration and my envy.</p> + +<p>I relinquished my station, and proceeded, in a heartless mood, along the +fence. I now came to the mansion itself. The principal door was entered +by a staircase of marble. I had never seen the stone of Carrara, and +wildly supposed this to have been dug from Italian quarries. The beauty +of the poplars, the coolness exhaled from the dew-besprent bricks, the +commodiousness of the seat which these steps afforded, and the +uncertainty into which I was plunged respecting my future conduct, all +combined to make me pause. I sat down on the lower step and began to +meditate.</p> + +<p>By some transition it occurred to me that the supply of my most urgent +wants might be found in some inhabitant of this house. I needed at +present a few cents; and what were a few cents to the tenant of a +mansion like this? I had an invincible aversion to the calling of a +beggar, but I regarded with still more antipathy the vocation of a +thief; to this alternative, however, I was now reduced. I must either +steal or beg; unless, indeed, assistance could be procured under the +notion of a loan. Would a stranger refuse to lend the pittance that I +wanted? Surely not, when the urgency of my wants was explained.</p> + +<p>I recollected other obstacles. To summon the master of the house from +his bed, perhaps, for the sake of such an application, would be +preposterous. I should be in more danger of provoking his anger than +exciting his benevolence. This request might, surely, with more +propriety be preferred to a passenger. I should, probably, meet several +before I should arrive at Schuylkill.</p> + +<p>A servant just then appeared at the door, with bucket and brush. This +obliged me, much sooner than I intended, to decamp. With some reluctance +I rose and proceeded. This house occupied the corner of the street, and +I now turned this corner towards the country. A person, at some distance +before me, was approaching in an opposite direction.</p> + +<p>"Why," said I, "may I not make my demand of the first man I meet? This +person exhibits tokens of ability to lend. There is nothing chilling or +austere in his demeanour."</p> + +<p>The resolution to address this passenger was almost formed; but the +nearer he advanced my resolves grew less firm. He noticed me not till he +came within a few paces. He seemed busy in reflection; and, had not my +figure caught his eye, or had he merely bestowed a passing glance upon +me, I should not have been sufficiently courageous to have detained him. +The event, however, was widely different.</p> + +<p>He looked at me and started. For an instant, as it were, and till he had +time to dart at me a second glance, he checked his pace. This behaviour +decided mine, and he stopped on perceiving tokens of a desire to address +him. I spoke, but my accents and air sufficiently denoted my +embarrassments:—</p> + +<p>"I am going to solicit a favour which my situation makes of the highest +importance to me, and which I hope it will be easy for you, sir, to +grant. It is not an alms, but a loan, that I seek; a loan that I will +repay the moment I am able to do it. I am going to the country, but +have not wherewith to pay my passage over Schuylkill, or to buy a morsel +of bread. May I venture to request of you, sir, the loan of sixpence? As +I told you, it is my intention to repay it."</p> + +<p>I delivered this address, not without some faltering, but with great +earnestness. I laid particular stress upon my intention to refund the +money. He listened with a most inquisitive air. His eye perused me from +head to foot.</p> + +<p>After some pause, he said, in a very emphatic manner, "Why into the +country? Have you family? Kindred? Friends?"</p> + +<p>"No," answered I, "I have neither. I go in search of the means of +subsistence. I have passed my life upon a farm, and propose to die in +the same condition."</p> + +<p>"Whence have you come?"</p> + +<p>"I came yesterday from the country, with a view to earn my bread in some +way, but have changed my plan and propose now to return."</p> + +<p>"Why have you changed it? In what way are you capable of earning your +bread?"</p> + +<p>"I hardly know," said I. "I can, as yet, manage no tool, that can be +managed in the city, but the pen. My habits have, in some small degree, +qualified me for a writer. I would willingly accept employment of that +kind."</p> + +<p>He fixed his eyes upon the earth, and was silent for some minutes. At +length, recovering himself, he said, "Follow me to my house. Perhaps +something may be done for you. If not, I will lend you sixpence."</p> + +<p>It may be supposed that I eagerly complied with the invitation. My +companion said no more, his air bespeaking him to be absorbed by his own +thoughts, till he reached his house, which proved to be that at the door +of which I had been seated. We entered a parlour together.</p> + +<p>Unless you can assume my ignorance and my simplicity, you will be unable +to conceive the impressions that were made by the size and ornaments of +this apartment. I shall omit these impressions, which, indeed, no +description could adequately convey, and dwell on incidents of greater +moment. He asked me to give him a specimen of my penmanship. I told you +that I had bestowed very great attention upon this art. Implements were +brought, and I sat down to the task. By some inexplicable connection a +line in Shakspeare occurred to me, and I wrote,—</p> + +<p class="center"> +"My poverty, but not my will, consents." +</p> + +<p>The sentiment conveyed in this line powerfully affected him, but in a +way which I could not then comprehend. I collected from subsequent +events that the inference was not unfavourable to my understanding or my +morals. He questioned me as to my history. I related my origin and my +inducements to desert my father's house. With respect to last night's +adventures I was silent. I saw no useful purpose that could be answered +by disclosure, and I half suspected that my companion would refuse +credit to my tale.</p> + +<p>There were frequent intervals of abstraction and reflection between his +questions. My examination lasted not much less than an hour. At length +he said, "I want an amanuensis or copyist. On what terms will you live +with me?"</p> + +<p>I answered that I knew not how to estimate the value of my services. I +knew not whether these services were agreeable or healthful. My life had +hitherto been active. My constitution was predisposed to diseases of the +lungs, and the change might be hurtful. I was willing, however, to try +and to content myself for a month or a year, with so much as would +furnish me with food, clothing, and lodging.</p> + +<p>"'Tis well," said he. "You remain with me as long and no longer than +both of us please. You shall lodge and eat in this house. I will supply +you with clothing, and your task will be to write what I dictate. Your +person, I see, has not shared much of your attention. It is in my power +to equip you instantly in the manner which becomes a resident in this +house. Come with me."</p> + +<p>He led the way into the court behind and thence into a neat building, +which contained large wooden vessels and a pump: "There," said he, "you +may wash yourself; and, when that is done, I will conduct you to your +chamber and your wardrobe."</p> + +<p>This was speedily performed, and he accordingly led the way to the +chamber. It was an apartment in the third story, finished and furnished +in the same costly and superb style with the rest of the house. He +opened closets and drawers which overflowed with clothes and linen of +all and of the best kinds. "These are yours," said he, "as long as you +stay with me. Dress yourself as likes you best. Here is every thing your +nakedness requires. When dressed, you may descend to breakfast." With +these words he left me.</p> + +<p>The clothes were all in the French style, as I afterwards, by comparing +my garb with that of others, discovered. They were fitted to my shape +with the nicest precision. I bedecked myself with all my care. I +remembered the style of dress used by my beloved Clavering. My locks +were of shining auburn, flowing and smooth like his. Having wrung the +wet from them, and combed, I tied them carelessly in a black riband. +Thus equipped, I surveyed myself in a mirror.</p> + +<p>You may imagine, if you can, the sensations which this instantaneous +transformation produced. Appearances are wonderfully influenced by +dress. Check shirt, buttoned at the neck, an awkward fustian coat, check +trowsers and bare feet, were now supplanted by linen and muslin, nankeen +coat striped with green, a white silk waistcoat elegantly +needle-wrought, cassimere pantaloons, stockings of variegated silk, and +shoes that in their softness, pliancy, and polished surface vied with +satin. I could scarcely forbear looking back to see whether the image in +the glass, so well proportioned, so gallant, and so graceful, did not +belong to another. I could scarcely recognise any lineaments of my own. +I walked to the window. "Twenty minutes ago," said I, "I was traversing +that path a barefoot beggar; now I am thus." Again I surveyed myself. +"Surely some insanity has fastened on my understanding. My senses are +the sport of dreams. Some magic that disdains the cumbrousness of +nature's progress has wrought this change." I was roused from these +doubts by a summons to breakfast, obsequiously delivered by a black +servant.</p> + +<p>I found Welbeck (for I shall henceforth call him by his true name) at +the breakfast-table. A superb equipage of silver and china was before +him. He was startled at my entrance. The change in my dress seemed for a +moment to have deceived him. His eye was frequently fixed upon me with +unusual steadfastness. At these times there was inquietude and wonder in +his features.</p> + +<p>I had now an opportunity of examining my host. There was nicety but no +ornament in his dress. His form was of the middle height, spare, but +vigorous and graceful. His face was cast, I thought, in a foreign mould. +His forehead receded beyond the usual degree in visages which I had +seen. His eyes large and prominent, but imparting no marks of benignity +and habitual joy. The rest of his face forcibly suggested the idea of a +convex edge. His whole figure impressed me with emotions of veneration +and awe. A gravity that almost amounted to sadness invariably attended +him when we were alone together.</p> + +<p>He whispered the servant that waited, who immediately retired. He then +said, turning to me, "A lady will enter presently, whom you are to treat +with the respect due to my daughter. You must not notice any emotion she +may betray at the sight of you, nor expect her to converse with you; for +she does not understand your language." He had scarcely spoken when she +entered. I was seized with certain misgivings and flutterings which a +clownish education may account for. I so far conquered my timidity, +however, as to snatch a look at her. I was not born to execute her +portrait. Perhaps the turban that wreathed her head, the brilliant +texture and inimitable folds of her drapery, and nymphlike port, more +than the essential attributes of her person, gave splendour to the +celestial vision. Perhaps it was her snowy hues, and the cast rather +than the position of her features, that were so prolific of enchantment; +or perhaps the wonder originated only in my own ignorance.</p> + +<p>She did not immediately notice me. When she did she almost shrieked with +surprise. She held up her hands, and, gazing upon me, uttered various +exclamations which I could not understand. I could only remark that her +accents were thrillingly musical. Her perturbations refused to be +stilled. It was with difficulty that she withdrew her regards from me. +Much conversation passed between her and Welbeck, but I could comprehend +no part of it. I was at liberty to animadvert on the visible part of +their intercourse. I diverted some part of my attention from my own +embarrassments, and fixed it on their looks.</p> + +<p>In this art, as in most others, I was an unpractised simpleton. In the +countenance of Welbeck, there was somewhat else than sympathy with the +astonishment and distress of the lady; but I could not interpret these +additional tokens. When her attention was engrossed by Welbeck, her eyes +were frequently vagrant or downcast; her cheeks contracted a deeper hue; +and her breathing was almost prolonged into a sigh. These were marks on +which I made no comments at the time. My own situation was calculated to +breed confusion in my thoughts and awkwardness in my gestures. Breakfast +being finished, the lady, apparently at the request of Welbeck, sat down +to a piano-forte.</p> + +<p>Here again I must be silent. I was not wholly destitute of musical +practice and musical taste. I had that degree of knowledge which enabled +me to estimate the transcendent skill of this performer. As if the +pathos of her touch were insufficient, I found after some time that the +lawless jarrings of the keys were chastened by her own more liquid +notes. She played without a book, and, though her bass might be +preconcerted, it was plain that her right-hand notes were momentary and +spontaneous inspirations. Meanwhile Welbeck stood, leaning his arms on +the back of a chair near her, with his eyes fixed on her face. His +features were fraught with a meaning which I was eager to interpret, but +unable.</p> + +<p>I have read of transitions effected by magic; I have read of palaces and +deserts which were subject to the dominion of spells; poets may sport +with their power, but I am certain that no transition was ever conceived +more marvellous and more beyond the reach of foresight than that which I +had just experienced. Heaths vexed by a midnight storm may be changed +into a hall of choral nymphs and regal banqueting; forest glades may +give sudden place to colonnades and carnivals; but he whose senses are +deluded finds himself still on his natal earth. These miracles are +contemptible when compared with that which placed me under this roof and +gave me to partake in this audience. I know that my emotions are in +danger of being regarded as ludicrous by those who cannot figure to +themselves the consequences of a limited and rustic education.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER VI.</h3> + + +<p>In a short time the lady retired. I naturally expected that some +comments would be made on her behaviour, and that the cause of her +surprise and distress on seeing me would be explained; but Welbeck said +nothing on that subject. When she had gone, he went to the window and +stood for some time occupied, as it seemed, with his own thoughts. Then +he turned to me, and, calling me by my name, desired me to accompany him +up-stairs. There was neither cheerfulness nor mildness in his address, +but neither was there any thing domineering or arrogant.</p> + +<p>We entered an apartment on the same floor with my chamber, but separated +from it by a spacious entry. It was supplied with bureaus, cabinets, and +bookcases. "This," said he, "is your room and mine; but we must enter it +and leave it together. I mean to act not as your master but your friend. +My maimed hand" (so saying, he showed me his right hand, the forefinger +of which was wanting) "will not allow me to write accurately or +copiously. For this reason I have required your aid, in a work of some +moment. Much haste will not be requisite, and, as to the hours and +duration of employment, these will be seasonable and short.</p> + +<p>"Your present situation is new to you, and we will therefore defer +entering on our business. Meanwhile you may amuse yourself in what +manner you please. Consider this house as your home and make yourself +familiar with it. Stay within or go out, be busy or be idle, as your +fancy shall prompt: only you will conform to our domestic system as to +eating and sleep; the servants will inform you of this. Next week we +will enter on the task for which I designed you. You may now withdraw."</p> + +<p>I obeyed this mandate with some awkwardness and hesitation. I went into +my own chamber not displeased with an opportunity of loneliness. I threw +myself on a chair and resigned myself to those thoughts which would +naturally arise in this situation. I speculated on the character and +views of Welbeck. I saw that he was embosomed in tranquillity and +grandeur. Riches, therefore, were his; but in what did his opulence +consist, and whence did it arise? What were the limits by which it was +confined, and what its degree of permanence? I was unhabituated to ideas +of floating or transferable wealth. The rent of houses and lands was the +only species of property which was, as yet, perfectly intelligible. My +previous ideas led me to regard Welbeck as the proprietor of this +dwelling and of numerous houses and farms. By the same cause I was fain +to suppose him enriched by inheritance, and that his life had been +uniform.</p> + +<p>I next adverted to his social condition. This mansion appeared to have +but two inhabitants besides servants. Who was the nymph who had hovered +for a moment in my sight? Had he not called her his daughter? The +apparent difference in their ages would justify this relation; but her +guise, her features, and her accents, were foreign. Her language I +suspected strongly to be that of Italy. How should he be the father of +an Italian? But were there not some foreign lineaments in his +countenance?</p> + +<p>This idea seemed to open a new world to my view. I had gained, from my +books, confused ideas of European governments and manners. I knew that +the present was a period of revolution and hostility. Might not these be +illustrious fugitives from Provence or the Milanese? Their portable +wealth, which may reasonably be supposed to be great, they have +transported hither. Thus may be explained the sorrow that veils their +countenance. The loss of estates and honours; the untimely death of +kindred, and perhaps of his wife, may furnish eternal food for regrets. +Welbeck's utterance, though rapid and distinct, partook, as I conceived, +in some very slight degree of a foreign idiom.</p> + +<p>Such was the dream that haunted my undisciplined and unenlightened +imagination. The more I revolved it, the more plausible it seemed. On +due supposition every appearance that I had witnessed was easily +solved,—unless it were their treatment of me. This, at first, was a +source of hopeless perplexity. Gradually, however, a clue seemed to be +afforded. Welbeck had betrayed astonishment on my first appearance. The +lady's wonder was mingled with distress. Perhaps they discovered a +remarkable resemblance between me and one who stood in the relation of +son to Welbeck, and of brother to the lady. This youth might have +perished on the scaffold or in war. These, no doubt, were his clothes. +This chamber might have been reserved for him, but his death left it to +be appropriated to another.</p> + +<p>I had hitherto been unable to guess at the reason why all this kindness +had been lavished on me. Will not this conjecture sufficiently account +for it? No wonder that this resemblance was enhanced by assuming his +dress.</p> + +<p>Taking all circumstances into view, these ideas were not, perhaps, +destitute of probability. Appearances naturally suggested them to me. +They were, also, powerfully enforced by inclination. They threw me into +transports of wonder and hope. When I dwelt upon the incidents of my +past life, and traced the chain of events, from the death of my mother +to the present moment, I almost acquiesced in the notion that some +beneficent and ruling genius had prepared my path for me. Events which, +when foreseen, would most ardently have been deprecated, and when they +happened were accounted in the highest degree luckless, were now seen to +be propitious. Hence I inferred the infatuation of despair, and the +folly of precipitate conclusions.</p> + +<p>But what was the fate reserved for me? Perhaps Welbeck would adopt me +for his own son. Wealth has ever been capriciously distributed. The mere +physical relation of birth is all that entitles us to manors and +thrones. Identity itself frequently depends upon a casual likeness or an +old nurse's imposture. Nations have risen in arms, as in the case of the +Stuarts, in the cause of one the genuineness of whose birth has been +denied and can never be proved. But if the cause be trivial and +fallacious, the effects are momentous and solid. It ascertains our +portion of felicity and usefulness, and fixes our lot among peasants or +princes.</p> + +<p>Something may depend upon my own deportment. Will it not behoove me to +cultivate all my virtues and eradicate all my defects? I see that the +abilities of this man are venerable. Perhaps he will not lightly or +hastily decide in my favour. He will be governed by the proofs that I +shall give of discernment and integrity. I had always been exempt from +temptation, and was therefore undepraved; but this view of things had a +wonderful tendency to invigorate my virtuous resolutions. All within me +was exhilaration and joy.</p> + +<p>There was but one thing wanting to exalt me to a dizzy height and give +me place among the stars of heaven. My resemblance to her brother had +forcibly affected this lady; but I was not her brother. I was raised to +a level with her and made a tenant of the same mansion. Some intercourse +would take place between us. Time would lay level impediments and +establish familiarity, and this intercourse might foster love and +terminate in—<i>marriage</i>!</p> + +<p>These images were of a nature too glowing and expansive to allow me to +be longer inactive. I sallied forth into the open air. This tumult of +delicious thoughts in some time subsided, and gave way to images +relative to my present situation. My curiosity was awake. As yet I had +seen little of the city, and this opportunity for observation was not to +be neglected. I therefore coursed through several streets, attentively +examining the objects that successively presented themselves.</p> + +<p>At length, it occurred to me to search out the house in which I had +lately been immured. I was not without hopes that at some future period +I should be able to comprehend the allusions and brighten the +obscurities that hung about the dialogue of last night.</p> + +<p>The house was easily discovered. I reconnoitred the court and gate +through which I had passed. The mansion was of the first order in +magnitude and decoration. This was not the bound of my present +discovery, for I was gifted with that confidence which would make me set +on foot inquiries in the neighbourhood. I looked around for a suitable +medium of intelligence. The opposite and adjoining houses were small, +and apparently occupied by persons of an indigent class. At one of these +was a sign denoting it to be the residence of a tailor. Seated on a +bench at the door was a young man, with coarse uncombed locks, breeches +knee-unbuttoned, stockings ungartered, shoes slipshod and unbuckled, and +a face unwashed, gazing stupidly from hollow eyes. His aspect was +embellished with good nature, though indicative of ignorance.</p> + +<p>This was the only person in sight. He might be able to say something +concerning his opulent neighbour. To him, therefore, I resolved to +apply. I went up to him, and, pointing to the house in question, asked +him who lived there.</p> + +<p>He answered, "Mr. Matthews."</p> + +<p>"What is his profession,—his way of life?"</p> + +<p>"A gentleman. He does nothing but walk about."</p> + +<p>"How long has he been married?"</p> + +<p>"Married! He is not married as I know on. He never has been married. He +is a bachelor."</p> + +<p>This intelligence was unexpected. It made me pause to reflect whether I +had not mistaken the house. This, however, seemed impossible. I renewed +my questions.</p> + +<p>"A bachelor, say you? Are you not mistaken?"</p> + +<p>"No. It would be an odd thing if he was married. An old fellow, with one +foot in the grave—Comical enough for him to <i>git</i> a <i>vife</i>!"</p> + +<p>"An old man? Does he live alone? What is his family?"</p> + +<p>"No, he does not live alone. He has a niece that lives with him. She is +married, and her husband lives there too."</p> + +<p>"What is his name?"</p> + +<p>"I don't know. I never heard it as I know on."</p> + +<p>"What is his trade?"</p> + +<p>"He's a merchant; he keeps a store somewhere or other; but I don't know +where."</p> + +<p>"How long has he been married?"</p> + +<p>"About two years. They lost a child lately. The young woman was in a +huge taking about it. They say she was quite crazy some days for the +death of the child; and she is not quite out of <i>the dumps</i> yet. +To-be-sure, the child was a sweet little thing; but they need not make +such a rout about it. I'll war'n' they'll have enough of them before +they die."</p> + +<p>"What is the character of the young man? Where was he born and educated? +Has he parents or brothers?"</p> + +<p>My companion was incapable of answering these questions, and I left him +with little essential addition to the knowledge I already possessed.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER VII.</h3> + + +<p>After viewing various parts of the city, intruding into churches, and +diving into alleys, I returned. The rest of the day I spent chiefly in +my chamber, reflecting on my new condition; surveying my apartment, its +presses and closets; and conjecturing the causes of appearances.</p> + +<p>At dinner and supper I was alone. Venturing to inquire of the servant +where his master and mistress were, I was answered that they were +engaged. I did not question him as to the nature of their engagement, +though it was a fertile source of curiosity.</p> + +<p>Next morning, at breakfast, I again met Welbeck and the lady. The +incidents were nearly those of the preceding morning, if it were not +that the lady exhibited tokens of somewhat greater uneasiness. When she +left us, Welbeck sank into apparent meditation. I was at a loss whether +to retire or remain where I was. At last, however, I was on the point of +leaving the room, when he broke silence and began a conversation with +me.</p> + +<p>He put questions to me, the obvious scope of which was to know my +sentiments on moral topics. I had no motives to conceal my opinions, and +therefore delivered them with frankness. At length he introduced +allusions to my own history, and made more particular inquiries on that +head. Here I was not equally frank; yet I did not feign any thing, but +merely dealt in generals. I had acquired notions of propriety on this +head, perhaps somewhat fastidious. Minute details, respecting our own +concerns, are apt to weary all but the narrator himself. I said thus +much, and the truth of my remark was eagerly assented to.</p> + +<p>With some marks of hesitation and after various preliminaries, my +companion hinted that my own interest, as well as his, enjoined upon me +silence to all but himself, on the subject of my birth and early +adventures. It was not likely that, while in his service, my circle of +acquaintance would be large or my intercourse with the world frequent; +but in my communication with others he requested me to speak rather of +others than of myself. This request, he said, might appear singular to +me, but he had his reasons for making it, which it was not necessary, at +present, to disclose, though, when I should know them, I should readily +acknowledge their validity.</p> + +<p>I scarcely knew what answer to make. I was willing to oblige him. I was +far from expecting that any exigence would occur, making disclosure my +duty. The employment was productive of pain more than of pleasure, and +the curiosity that would uselessly seek a knowledge of my past life was +no less impertinent than the loquacity that would uselessly communicate +that knowledge. I readily promised, therefore, to adhere to his advice.</p> + +<p>This assurance afforded him evident satisfaction; yet it did not seem to +amount to quite as much as he wished. He repeated, in stronger terms, +the necessity there was for caution. He was far from suspecting me to +possess an impertinent and talkative disposition, or that, in my +eagerness to expatiate on my own concerns, I should overstep the limits +of politeness. But this was not enough. I was to govern myself by a +persuasion that the interests of my friend and myself would be +materially affected by my conduct.</p> + +<p>Perhaps I ought to have allowed these insinuations to breed suspicion in +my mind; but, conscious as I was of the benefits which I had received +from this man; prone, from my inexperience, to rely upon professions and +confide in appearances; and unaware that I could be placed in any +condition in which mere silence respecting myself could be injurious or +criminal, I made no scruple to promise compliance with his wishes. Nay, +I went further than this; I desired to be accurately informed as to what +it was proper to conceal. He answered that my silence might extend to +every thing anterior to my arrival in the city and my being incorporated +with his family. Here our conversation ended, and I retired to ruminate +on what had passed.</p> + +<p>I derived little satisfaction from my reflections. I began now to +perceive inconveniences that might arise from this precipitate promise. +Whatever should happen in consequence of my being immured in the +chamber, and of the loss of my clothes and of the portrait of my friend, +I had bound myself to silence. These inquietudes, however, were +transient. I trusted that these events would operate auspiciously; but +my curiosity was now awakened as to the motives which <i>Welbeck</i> could +have for exacting from me this concealment. To act under the guidance of +another, and to wander in the dark, ignorant whither my path tended and +what effects might flow from my agency, was a new and irksome situation.</p> + +<p>From these thoughts I was recalled by a message from Welbeck. He gave me +a folded paper, which he requested me to carry to No.—South Fourth +Street. "Inquire," said he, "for Mrs. Wentworth, in order merely to +ascertain the house, for you need not ask to see her; merely give the +letter to the servant and retire. Excuse me for imposing this service +upon you. It is of too great moment to be trusted to a common messenger; +I usually perform it myself, but am at present otherwise engaged."</p> + +<p>I took the letter and set out to deliver it. This was a trifling +circumstance, yet my mind was full of reflections on the consequences +that might flow from it. I remembered the directions that were given, +but construed them in a manner different, perhaps, from Welbeck's +expectations or wishes. He had charged me to leave the billet with the +servant who happened to answer my summons; but had he not said that the +message was important, insomuch that it could not be intrusted to common +hands? He had permitted, rather than enjoined, me to dispense with +seeing the lady; and this permission I conceived to be dictated merely +by regard to my convenience. It was incumbent on me, therefore, to take +some pains to deliver the script into her own hands.</p> + +<p>I arrived at the house and knocked. A female servant appeared. "Her +mistress was up-stairs; she would tell her if I wished to see her," and +meanwhile invited me to enter the parlour; I did so; and the girl +retired to inform her mistress that one waited for her. I ought to +mention that my departure from the directions which I had received was, +in some degree, owing to an inquisitive temper; I was eager after +knowledge, and was disposed to profit by every opportunity to survey the +interior of dwellings and converse with their inhabitants.</p> + +<p>I scanned the walls, the furniture, the pictures. Over the fireplace was +a portrait in oil of a female. She was elderly and matron-like. Perhaps +she was the mistress of this habitation, and the person to whom I should +immediately be introduced. Was it a casual suggestion, or was there an +actual resemblance between the strokes of the pencil which executed this +portrait and that of Clavering? However that be, the sight of this +picture revived the memory of my friend and called up a fugitive +suspicion that this was the production of his skill.</p> + +<p>I was busily revolving this idea when the lady herself entered. It was +the same whose portrait I had been examining. She fixed scrutinizing and +powerful eyes upon me. She looked at the superscription of the letter +which I presented, and immediately resumed her examination of me. I was +somewhat abashed by the closeness of her observation, and gave tokens of +this state of mind which did not pass unobserved. They seemed instantly +to remind her that she behaved with too little regard to civility. She +recovered herself and began to peruse the letter. Having done this, her +attention was once more fixed upon me. She was evidently desirous of +entering into some conversation, but seemed at a loss in what manner to +begin. This situation was new to me and was productive of no small +embarrassment. I was preparing to take my leave when she spoke, though +not without considerable hesitation:—</p> + +<p>"This letter is from Mr. Welbeck—you are his friend—I +presume—perhaps—a relation?"</p> + +<p>I was conscious that I had no claim to either of these titles, and that +I was no more than his servant. My pride would not allow me to +acknowledge this, and I merely said, "I live with him at present, +madam."</p> + +<p>I imagined that this answer did not perfectly satisfy her; yet she +received it with a certain air of acquiescence. She was silent for a few +minutes, and then, rising, said, "Excuse me, sir, for a few minutes. I +will write a few words to Mr. Welbeck." So saying, she withdrew.</p> + +<p>I returned to the contemplation of the picture. From this, however, my +attention was quickly diverted by a paper that lay on the mantel. A +single glance was sufficient to put my blood into motion. I started and +laid my hand upon the well-known packet. It was that which enclosed the +portrait of Clavering!</p> + +<p>I unfolded and examined it with eagerness. By what miracle came it +hither? It was found, together with my bundle, two nights before. I had +despaired of ever seeing it again, and yet here was the same portrait +enclosed in the selfsame paper! I have forborne to dwell upon the +regret, amounting to grief, with which I was affected in consequence of +the loss of this precious relic. My joy on thus speedily and +unexpectedly regaining it is not easily described.</p> + +<p>For a time I did not reflect that to hold it thus in my hand was not +sufficient to entitle me to repossession. I must acquaint this lady with +the history of this picture, and convince her of my ownership. But how +was this to be done? Was she connected in any way, by friendship or by +consanguinity, with that unfortunate youth? If she were, some +information as to his destiny would be anxiously sought. I did not, just +then, perceive any impropriety in imparting it. If it came into her +hands by accident, still, it will be necessary to relate the mode in +which it was lost in order to prove my title to it.</p> + +<p>I now heard her descending footsteps, and hastily replaced the picture +on the mantel. She entered, and, presenting me a letter, desired me to +deliver it to Mr. Welbeck. I had no pretext for deferring my departure, +but was unwilling to go without obtaining possession of the portrait. An +interval of silence and irresolution succeeded. I cast significant +glances at the spot where it lay, and at length mustered up my strength +of mind, and, pointing to the paper,—"Madam," said I, "<i>there</i> is +something which I recognise to be mine: I know not how it came into your +possession, but so lately as the day before yesterday it was in mine. I +lost it by a strange accident, and, as I deem it of inestimable value, I +hope you will have no objection to restore it."</p> + +<p>During this speech the lady's countenance exhibited marks of the utmost +perturbation. "Your picture!" she exclaimed; "you lost it! How? Where? +Did you know that person? What has become of him?"</p> + +<p>"I knew him well," said I. "That picture was executed by himself. He +gave it to me with his own hands; and, till the moment I unfortunately +lost it, it was my dear and perpetual companion."</p> + +<p>"Good heaven!" she exclaimed, with increasing vehemence; "where did you +meet with him? What has become of him? Is he dead, or alive?"</p> + +<p>These appearances sufficiently showed me that Clavering and this lady +were connected by some ties of tenderness. I answered that he was dead; +that my mother and myself were his attendants and nurses, and that this +portrait was his legacy to me.</p> + +<p>This intelligence melted her into tears, and it was some time before she +recovered strength enough to resume the conversation. She then inquired, +"When and where was it that he died? How did you lose this portrait? It +was found wrapped in some coarse clothes, lying in a stall in the +market-house, on Saturday evening. Two negro women, servants of one of +my friends, strolling through the market, found it and brought it to +their mistress, who, recognising the portrait, sent it to me. To whom +did that bundle belong? Was it yours?"</p> + +<p>These questions reminded me of the painful predicament in which I now +stood. I had promised Welbeck to conceal from every one my former +condition; but to explain in what manner this bundle was lost, and how +my intercourse with Clavering had taken place, was to violate this +promise. It was possible, perhaps, to escape the confession of the truth +by equivocation. Falsehoods were easily invented, and might lead her far +away from my true condition; but I was wholly unused to equivocation. +Never yet had a lie polluted my lips. I was not weak enough to be +ashamed of my origin. This lady had an interest in the fate of +Clavering, and might justly claim all the information which I was able +to impart. Yet to forget the compact which I had so lately made, and an +adherence to which might possibly be in the highest degree beneficial to +me and to Welbeck; I was willing to adhere to it, provided falsehood +could be avoided.</p> + +<p>These thoughts rendered me silent. The pain of my embarrassment amounted +almost to agony. I felt the keenest regret at my own precipitation in +claiming the picture. Its value to me was altogether imaginary. The +affection which this lady had borne the original, whatever was the +source of that affection, would prompt her to cherish the copy, and, +however precious it was in my eyes, I should cheerfully resign it to +her.</p> + +<p>In the confusion of my thoughts an expedient suggested itself +sufficiently inartificial and bold. "It is true, madam, what I have +said. I saw him breathe his last. This is his only legacy. If you wish +it I willingly resign it; but this is all that I can now disclose. I am +placed in circumstances which render it improper to say more."</p> + +<p>These words were uttered not very distinctly, and the lady's vehemence +hindered her from noticing them. She again repeated her interrogations, +to which I returned the same answer.</p> + +<p>At first she expressed the utmost surprise at my conduct. From this she +descended to some degree of asperity. She made rapid allusions to the +history of Clavering. He was the son of the gentleman who owned the +house in which Welbeck resided. He was the object of immeasurable +fondness and indulgence. He had sought permission to travel, and, this +being refused by the absurd timidity of his parents, he had twice been +frustrated in attempting to embark for Europe clandestinely. They +ascribed his disappearance to a third and successful attempt of this +kind, and had exercised anxious and unwearied diligence in endeavouring +to trace his footsteps. All their efforts had failed. One motive for +their returning to Europe was the hope of discovering some traces of +him, as they entertained no doubt of his having crossed the ocean. The +vehemence of Mrs. Wentworth's curiosity as to those particulars of his +life and death may be easily conceived. My refusal only heightened this +passion.</p> + +<p>Finding me refractory to all her efforts, she at length dismissed me in +anger.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER VIII.</h3> + + +<p>This extraordinary interview was now past. Pleasure as well as pain +attended my reflections on it. I adhered to the promise I had +improvidently given to Welbeck, but had excited displeasure, and perhaps +suspicion, in the lady. She would find it hard to account for my +silence. She would probably impute it to perverseness, or imagine it to +flow from some incident connected with the death of Clavering, +calculated to give a new edge to her curiosity.</p> + +<p>It was plain that some connection subsisted between her and Welbeck. +Would she drop the subject at the point which it had now attained? Would +she cease to exert herself to extract from me the desired information, +or would she not rather make Welbeck a party in the cause, and prejudice +my new friend against me? This was an evil proper, by all lawful means, +to avoid. I knew of no other expedient than to confess to him the truth +with regard to Clavering, and explain to him the dilemma in which my +adherence to my promise had involved me.</p> + +<p>I found him on my return home, and delivered him the letter with which I +was charged. At the sight of it, surprise, mingled with some uneasiness, +appeared in his looks. "What!" said he, in a tone of disappointment, +"you then saw the lady?"</p> + +<p>I now remembered his directions to leave my message at the door, and +apologized for my neglecting them by telling my reasons. His chagrin +vanished, but not without an apparent effort, and he said that all was +well; the affair was of no moment.</p> + +<p>After a pause of preparation, I entreated his attention to something +which I had to relate. I then detailed the history of Clavering and of +my late embarrassments. As I went on, his countenance betokened +increasing solicitude. His emotion was particularly strong when I came +to the interrogatories of Mrs. Wentworth in relation to Clavering; but +this emotion gave way to profound surprise when I related the manner in +which I had eluded her inquiries. I concluded with observing that, when +I promised forbearance on the subject of my own adventures, I had not +foreseen any exigence which would make an adherence to my promise +difficult or inconvenient; that, if his interest was promoted by my +silence, I was still willing to maintain it, and requested his +directions how to conduct myself on this occasion.</p> + +<p>He appeared to ponder deeply and with much perplexity on what I had +said. When he spoke there was hesitation in his manner and circuity in +his expressions, that proved him to have something in his thoughts which +he knew not how to communicate. He frequently paused; but my answers and +remarks, occasionally given, appeared to deter him from the revelation +of his purpose. Our discourse ended, for the present, by his desiring me +to persist in my present plan; I should suffer no inconveniences from +it, since it would be my own fault if an interview again took place +between the lady and me; meanwhile he should see her and effectually +silence her inquiries.</p> + +<p>I ruminated not superficially or briefly on this dialogue. By what means +would he silence her inquiries? He surely meant not to mislead her by +fallacious representations. Some inquietude now crept into my thoughts. +I began to form conjectures as to the nature of the scheme to which my +suppression of the truth was to be thus made subservient. It seemed as +if I were walking in the dark and might rush into snares or drop into +pits before I was aware of my danger. Each moment accumulated my doubts, +and I cherished a secret foreboding that the event would prove my new +situation to be far less fortunate than I had, at first, fondly +believed. The question now occurred, with painful repetition, who and +what was Welbeck? What was his relation to this foreign lady? What was +the service for which I was to be employed?</p> + +<p>I could not be contented without a solution of these mysteries. Why +should I not lay my soul open before my new friend? Considering my +situation, would he regard my fears and my surmises as criminal? I felt +that they originated in laudable habits and views. My peace of mind +depended on the favourable verdict which conscience should pass on my +proceedings. I saw the emptiness of fame and luxury, when put in the +balance against the recompense of virtue. Never would I purchase the +blandishments of adulation and the glare of opulence at the price of my +honesty.</p> + +<p>Amidst these reflections the dinner-hour arrived. The lady and Welbeck +were present. A new train of sentiments now occupied my mind. I regarded +them both with inquisitive eyes. I cannot well account for the +revolution which had taken place in my mind. Perhaps it was a proof of +the capriciousness of my temper, or it was merely the fruit of my +profound ignorance of life and manners. Whencesoever it arose, certain +it is that I contemplated the scene before me with altered eyes. Its +order and pomp was no longer the parent of tranquillity and awe. My wild +reveries of inheriting this splendour and appropriating the affections +of this nymph, I now regarded as lunatic hope and childish folly. +Education and nature had qualified me for a different scene. This might +be the mask of misery and the structure of vice.</p> + +<p>My companions as well as myself were silent during the meal. The lady +retired as soon as it was finished. My inexplicable melancholy +increased. It did not pass unnoticed by Welbeck, who inquired, with an +air of kindness, into the cause of my visible dejection. I am almost +ashamed to relate to what extremes my folly transported me. Instead of +answering him, I was weak enough to shed tears.</p> + +<p>This excited afresh his surprise and his sympathy. He renewed his +inquiries; my heart was full, but how to disburden it I knew not. At +length, with some difficulty, I expressed my wishes to leave his house +and return into the country.</p> + +<p>What, he asked, had occurred to suggest this new plan? What motive could +incite me to bury myself in rustic obscurity? How did I purpose to +dispose of myself? Had some new friend sprung up more able or more +willing to benefit me than he had been?</p> + +<p>"No," I answered, "I have no relation who would own me, or friend who +would protect. If I went into the country it would be to the toilsome +occupations of a day-labourer; but even that was better than my present +situation."</p> + +<p>This opinion, he observed, must be newly formed. What was there irksome +or offensive in my present mode of life?</p> + +<p>That this man condescended to expostulate with me; to dissuade me from +my new plan; and to enumerate the benefits which he was willing to +confer, penetrated my heart with gratitude. I could not but acknowledge +that leisure and literature, copious and elegant accommodation, were +valuable for their own sake; that all the delights of sensation and +refinements of intelligence were comprised within my present sphere, and +would be nearly wanting in that to which I was going. I felt temporary +compunction for my folly, and determined to adopt a different +deportment. I could not prevail upon myself to unfold the true cause of +my dejection, and permitted him therefore to ascribe it to a kind of +homesickness; to inexperience; and to that ignorance which, on being +ushered into a new scene, is oppressed with a sensation of forlornness. +He remarked that these chimeras would vanish before the influence of +time, and company, and occupation. On the next week he would furnish me +with employment; meanwhile he would introduce me into company, where +intelligence and vivacity would combine to dispel my glooms.</p> + +<p>As soon as we separated, my disquietudes returned. I contended with them +in vain, and finally resolved to abandon my present situation. When and +how this purpose was to be effected I knew not. That was to be the theme +of future deliberation.</p> + +<p>Evening having arrived, Welbeck proposed to me to accompany me on a +visit to one of his friends. I cheerfully accepted the invitation, and +went with him to your friend Mr. Wortley's. A numerous party was +assembled, chiefly of the female sex. I was introduced by Welbeck by +the title of <i>a young friend of his</i>. Notwithstanding my embarrassment, +I did not fail to attend to what passed on this occasion. I remarked +that the utmost deference was paid to my companion, on whom his entrance +into this company appeared to operate like magic. His eyes sparkled; his +features expanded into a benign serenity; and his wonted reserve gave +place to a torrent-like and overflowing elocution.</p> + +<p>I marked this change in his deportment with the utmost astonishment. So +great was it, that I could hardly persuade myself that it was the same +person. A mind thus susceptible of new impressions must be, I conceived, +of a wonderful texture. Nothing was further from my expectations than +that this vivacity was mere dissimulation and would take its leave of +him when he left the company; yet this I found to be the case. The door +was no sooner closed after him than his accustomed solemnity returned. +He spake little, and that little was delivered with emphatical and +monosyllabic brevity.</p> + +<p>We returned home at a late hour, and I immediately retired to my +chamber, not so much from the desire of repose as in order to enjoy and +pursue my own reflections without interruption.</p> + +<p>The condition of my mind was considerably remote from happiness. I was +placed in a scene that furnished fuel to my curiosity. This passion is a +source of pleasure, provided its gratification be practicable. I had no +reason, in my present circumstances, to despair of knowledge; yet +suspicion and anxiety beset me. I thought upon the delay and toil which +the removal of my ignorance would cost, and reaped only pain and fear +from the reflection.</p> + +<p>The air was remarkably sultry. Lifted sashes and lofty ceilings were +insufficient to attemper it. The perturbation of my thoughts affected my +body, and the heat which oppressed me was aggravated, by my +restlessness, almost into fever. Some hours were thus painfully past, +when I recollected that the bath, erected in the court below, contained +a sufficient antidote to the scorching influence of the atmosphere.</p> + +<p>I rose, and descended the stairs softly, that I might not alarm Welbeck +and the lady, who occupied the two rooms on the second floor. I +proceeded to the bath, and, filling the reservoir with water, speedily +dissipated the heat that incommoded me. Of all species of sensual +gratification, that was the most delicious; and I continued for a long +time laving my limbs and moistening my hair. In the midst of this +amusement, I noticed the approach of day, and immediately saw the +propriety of returning to my chamber. I returned with the same caution +which I had used in descending; my feet were bare, so that it was easy +to proceed unattended by the smallest signal of my progress.</p> + +<p>I had reached the carpeted staircase, and was slowly ascending, when I +heard, within the chamber that was occupied by the lady, a noise, as of +some one moving. Though not conscious of having acted improperly, yet I +felt reluctance to be seen. There was no reason to suppose that this +sound was connected with the detection of me in this situation; yet I +acted as if this reason existed, and made haste to pass the door and +gain the second flight of steps.</p> + +<p>I was unable to accomplish my design, when the chamber door slowly +opened, and Welbeck, with a light in his hand, came out. I was abashed +and disconcerted at this interview. He started at seeing me; but, +discovering in an instant who it was, his face assumed an expression in +which shame and anger were powerfully blended. He seemed on the point of +opening his mouth to rebuke me; but, suddenly checking himself, he said, +in a tone of mildness, "How is this? Whence come you?"</p> + +<p>His emotion seemed to communicate itself, with an electrical rapidity, +to my heart. My tongue faltered while I made some answer. I said, "I had +been seeking relief from the heat of the weather, in the bath." He heard +my explanation in silence; and, after a moment's pause, passed into his +own room, and shut himself in. I hastened to my chamber.</p> + +<p>A different observer might have found in these circumstances no food for +his suspicion or his wonder. To me, however, they suggested vague and +tumultuous ideas.</p> + +<p>As I strode across the room I repeated, "This woman is his daughter. +What proof have I of that? He once asserted it; and has frequently +uttered allusions and hints from which no other inference could be +drawn. The chamber from which he came, in an hour devoted to sleep, was +hers. For what end could a visit like this be paid? A parent may visit +his child at all seasons, without a crime. On seeing me, methought his +features indicated more than surprise. A keen interpreter would be apt +to suspect a consciousness of wrong. What if this woman be not his +child! How shall their relationship be ascertained?"</p> + +<p>I was summoned at the customary hour to breakfast. My mind was full of +ideas connected with this incident. I was not endowed with sufficient +firmness to propose the cool and systematic observation of this man's +deportment. I felt as if the state of my mind could not but be evident +to him; and experienced in myself all the confusion which this discovery +was calculated to produce in him. I would have willingly excused myself +from meeting him; but that was impossible.</p> + +<p>At breakfast, after the usual salutations, nothing was said. For a time +I scarcely lifted my eyes from the table. Stealing a glance at Welbeck, +I discovered in his features nothing but his wonted gravity. He appeared +occupied with thoughts that had no relation to last night's adventure. +This encouraged me; and I gradually recovered my composure. Their +inattention to me allowed me occasionally to throw scrutinizing and +comparing glances at the face of each.</p> + +<p>The relationship of parent and child is commonly discovered in the +visage; but the child may resemble either of its parents, yet have no +feature in common with both. Here outlines, surfaces, and hues were in +absolute contrariety. That kindred subsisted between them was possible, +notwithstanding this dissimilitude; but this circumstance contributed to +envenom my suspicions.</p> + +<p>Breakfast being finished, Welbeck cast an eye of invitation to the +piano-forte. The lady rose to comply with his request. My eye chanced +to be, at that moment, fixed on her. In stepping to the instrument, some +motion or appearance awakened a thought in my mind which affected my +feelings like the shock of an earthquake.</p> + +<p>I have too slight acquaintance with the history of the passions to truly +explain the emotion which now throbbed in my veins. I had been a +stranger to what is called love. From subsequent reflection, I have +contracted a suspicion that the sentiment with which I regarded this +lady was not untinctured from this source, and that hence arose the +turbulence of my feelings on observing what I construed into marks of +pregnancy. The evidence afforded me was slight; yet it exercised an +absolute sway over my belief.</p> + +<p>It was well that this suspicion had not been sooner excited. Now +civility did not require my stay in the apartment, and nothing but +flight could conceal the state of my mind. I hastened, therefore, to a +distance, and shrouded myself in the friendly secrecy of my own chamber.</p> + +<p>The constitution of my mind is doubtless singular and perverse; yet that +opinion, perhaps, is the fruit of my ignorance. It may by no means be +uncommon for men to <i>fashion</i> their conclusions in opposition to +evidence and <i>probability</i>, and so as to feed their malice and subvert +their happiness. Thus it was, in an eminent degree, in my case. The +simple fact was connected, in my mind, with a train of the most hateful +consequences. The depravity of Welbeck was inferred from it. The charms +of this angelic woman were tarnished and withered. I had formerly +surveyed her as a precious and perfect monument, but now it was a scene +of ruin and blast.</p> + +<p>This had been a source of sufficient anguish; but this was not all. I +recollected that the claims of a parent had been urged. Will you believe +that these claims were now admitted, and that they heightened the +iniquity of Welbeck into the blackest and most stupendous of all crimes? +These ideas were necessarily transient. Conclusions more conformable to +appearances succeeded. This lady might have been lately reduced to +widowhood. The recent loss of a beloved companion would sufficiently +account for her dejection, and make her present situation compatible +with duty.</p> + +<p>By this new train of ideas I was somewhat comforted. I saw the folly of +precipitate inferences and the injustice of my atrocious imputations, +and acquired some degree of patience in my present state of uncertainty. +My heart was lightened of its wonted burden, and I laboured to invent +some harmless explication of the scene that I had witnessed the +preceding night.</p> + +<p>At dinner Welbeck appeared as usual, but not the lady. I ascribed her +absence to some casual indisposition, and ventured to inquire into the +state of her health. My companion said she was well, but that she had +left the city for a month or two, finding the heat of summer +inconvenient where she was. This was no unplausible reason for +retirement. A candid mind would have acquiesced in this representation, +and found in it nothing inconsistent with a supposition respecting the +cause of appearances favourable to her character; but otherwise was I +affected. The uneasiness which had flown for a moment returned, and I +sunk into gloomy silence.</p> + +<p>From this I was roused by my patron, who requested me to deliver a +billet, which he put into my hand, at the counting-house of Mr. +Thetford, and to bring him an answer. This message was speedily +performed. I entered a large building by the river-side. A spacious +apartment presented itself, well furnished with pipes and hogsheads. In +one corner was a smaller room, in which a gentleman was busy at writing. +I advanced to the door of the room, but was there met by a young person, +who received my paper and delivered it to him within. I stood still at +the door; but was near enough to overhear what would pass between them.</p> + +<p>The letter was laid upon the desk, and presently he that sat at it +lifted his eyes and glanced at the superscription. He scarcely spoke +above a whisper; but his words, nevertheless, were clearly +distinguishable. I did not call to mind the sound of his voice, but his +words called up a train of recollections.</p> + +<p>"Lo!" said he, carelessly, "this from the <i>Nabob</i>!"</p> + +<p>An incident so slight as this was sufficient to open a spacious scene +of meditation. This little word, half whispered in a thoughtless mood, +was a key to unlock an extensive cabinet of secrets. Thetford was +probably indifferent whether his exclamation were overheard. Little did +he think on the inferences which would be built upon it.</p> + +<p>"The Nabob!" By this appellation had some one been denoted in the +chamber dialogue of which I had been an unsuspected auditor. The man who +pretended poverty, and yet gave proofs of inordinate wealth; whom it was +pardonable to defraud of thirty thousand dollars; first, because the +loss of that sum would be trivial to one opulent as he; and, secondly, +because he was imagined to have acquired this opulence by other than +honest methods. Instead of forthwith returning home, I wandered into the +fields, to indulge myself in the new thoughts which were produced by +this occurrence.</p> + +<p>I entertained no doubt that the person alluded to was my patron. No new +light was thrown upon his character; unless something were deducible +from the charge vaguely made, that his wealth was the fruit of illicit +practices. He was opulent, and the sources of his wealth were unknown, +if not to the rest of the community, at least to Thetford. But here had +a plot been laid. The fortune of Thetford's brother was to rise from the +success of artifices of which the credulity of Welbeck was to be the +victim. To detect and to counterwork this plot was obviously my duty. My +interference might now indeed be too late to be useful; but this was at +least to be ascertained by experiment.</p> + +<p>How should my intention be effected? I had hitherto concealed from +Welbeck my adventures at Thetford's house. These it was now necessary to +disclose, and to mention the recent occurrence. My deductions, in +consequence of my ignorance, might be erroneous; but of their truth his +knowledge of his own affairs would enable him to judge. It was possible +that Thetford and he whose chamber conversation I had overheard were +different persons. I endeavoured in vain to ascertain their identity by +a comparison of their voices. The words lately heard, my remembrance +did not enable me certainly to pronounce to be uttered by the same +organs.</p> + +<p>This uncertainty was of little moment. It sufficed that Welbeck was +designated by this appellation, and that therefore he was proved to be +the subject of some fraudulent proceeding. The information that I +possessed it was my duty to communicate as expeditiously as possible. I +was resolved to employ the first opportunity that offered for this end.</p> + +<p>My meditations had been ardently pursued, and, when I recalled my +attention, I found myself bewildered among fields and fences. It was +late before I extricated myself from unknown paths, and reached home.</p> + +<p>I entered the parlour; but Welbeck was not there. A table, with +tea-equipage for one person, was set; from which I inferred that Welbeck +was engaged abroad. This belief was confirmed by the report of the +servant. He could not inform me where his master was, but merely that he +should not take tea at home. This incident was a source of vexation and +impatience. I knew not but that delay would be of the utmost moment to +the safety of my friend. Wholly unacquainted as I was with the nature of +his contracts with Thetford, I could not decide whether a single hour +would not avail to obviate the evils that threatened him. Had I known +whither to trace his footsteps, I should certainly have sought an +immediate interview; but, as it was, I was obliged to wait, with what +patience I could collect, for his return to his own house.</p> + +<p>I waited hour after hour in vain. The sun declined, and the shades of +evening descended; but Welbeck was still at a distance.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER IX.</h3> + + +<p>Welbeck did not return, though hour succeeded hour till the clock struck +ten. I inquired of the servants, who informed me that their master was +not accustomed to stay out so late. I seated myself at a table, in a +parlour, on which there stood a light, and listened for the signal of +his coming, either by the sound of steps on the pavement without or by a +peal from the bell. The silence was uninterrupted and profound, and each +minute added to my sum of impatience and anxiety.</p> + +<p>To relieve myself from the heat of the weather, which was aggravated by +the condition of my thoughts, as well as to beguile this tormenting +interval, it occurred to me to betake myself to the bath. I left the +candle where it stood, and imagined that even in the bath I should hear +the sound of the bell which would be rung upon his arrival at the door.</p> + +<p>No such signal occurred, and, after taking this refreshment, I prepared +to return to my post. The parlour was still unoccupied, but this was not +all; the candle I had left upon the table was gone. This was an +inexplicable circumstance. On my promise to wait for their master, the +servants had retired to bed. No signal of any one's entrance had been +given. The street door was locked, and the key hung at its customary +place upon the wall. What was I to think? It was obvious to suppose that +the candle had been removed by a domestic; but their footsteps could not +be traced, and I was not sufficiently acquainted with the house to find +the way, especially immersed in darkness, to their chamber. One measure, +however, it was evidently proper to take, which was to supply myself, +anew, with a light. This was instantly performed; but what was next to +be done?</p> + +<p>I was weary of the perplexities in which I was embroiled. I saw no +avenue to escape from them but that which led me to the bosom of nature +and to my ancient occupations. For a moment I was tempted to resume my +rustic garb, and, on that very hour, to desert this habitation. One +thing only detained me; the desire to apprize my patron of the treachery +of Thetford. For this end I was anxious to obtain an interview; but now +I reflected that this information could by other means be imparted. Was +it not sufficient to write him briefly these particulars, and leave him +to profit by the knowledge? Thus I might, likewise, acquaint him with my +motives for thus abruptly and unseasonably deserting his service.</p> + +<p>To the execution of this scheme pen and paper were necessary. The +business of writing was performed in the chamber on the third story. I +had been hitherto denied access to this room. In it was a show of papers +and books. Here it was that the task, for which I had been retained, was +to be performed; but I was to enter it and leave it only in company with +Welbeck. For what reasons, I asked, was this procedure to be adopted?</p> + +<p>The influence of prohibitions and an appearance of disguise in awakening +curiosity is well known. My mind fastened upon the idea of this room +with an unusual degree of intenseness. I had seen it but for a moment. +Many of Welbeck's hours were spent in it. It was not to be inferred that +they were consumed in idleness: what then was the nature of his +employment over which a veil of such impenetrable secrecy was cast?</p> + +<p>Will you wonder that the design of entering this recess was insensibly +formed? Possibly it was locked, but its accessibleness was likewise +possible. I meant not the commission of any crime. My principal purpose +was to procure the implements of writing, which were elsewhere not to be +found. I should neither unseal papers nor open drawers. I would merely +take a survey of the volumes and attend to the objects that +spontaneously presented themselves to my view. In this there surely was +nothing criminal or blameworthy. Meanwhile I was not unmindful of the +sudden disappearance of the candle. This incident filled my bosom with +the inquietudes of fear and the perturbations of wonder.</p> + +<p>Once more I paused to catch any sound that might arise from without. All +was still. I seized the candle and prepared to mount the stairs. I had +not reached the first landing when I called to mind my midnight meeting +with Welbeck at the door of his daughter's chamber. The chamber was now +desolate; perhaps it was accessible; if so, no injury was done by +entering it. My curiosity was strong, but it pictured to itself no +precise object. Three steps would bear me to the door. The trial, +whether it was fastened, might be made in a moment; and I readily +imagined that something might be found within to reward the trouble of +examination. The door yielded to my hand, and I entered.</p> + +<p>No remarkable object was discoverable. The apartment was supplied with +the usual furniture. I bent my steps towards a table over which a mirror +was suspended. My glances, which roved with swiftness from one object to +another, shortly lighted on a miniature portrait that hung near. I +scrutinized it with eagerness. It was impossible to overlook its +resemblance to my own visage. This was so great that for a moment I +imagined myself to have been the original from which it had been drawn. +This flattering conception yielded place to a belief merely of +similitude between me and the genuine original.</p> + +<p>The thoughts which this opinion was fitted to produce were suspended by +a new object. A small volume, that had, apparently, been much used, lay +upon the toilet. I opened it, and found it to contain some of the Dramas +of Apostolo Zeno. I turned over the leaves; a written paper saluted my +sight. A single glance informed me that it was English. For the present +I was insensible to all motives that would command me to forbear. I +seized the paper with an intention to peruse it.</p> + +<p>At that moment a stunning report was heard. It was loud enough to shake +the walls of the apartment, and abrupt enough to throw me into tremors. +I dropped the book and yielded for a moment to confusion and surprise. +From what quarter it came, I was unable accurately to determine; but +there could be no doubt, from its loudness, that it was near, and even +in the house. It was no less manifest that the sound arose from the +discharge of a pistol. Some hand must have drawn the trigger. I +recollected the disappearance of the candle from the room below. +Instantly a supposition darted into my mind which made my hair rise and +my teeth chatter.</p> + +<p>"This," I said, "is the deed of Welbeck. He entered while I was absent +from the room; he hied to his chamber; and, prompted by some unknown +instigation, has inflicted on himself death!" This idea had a tendency +to palsy my limbs and my thoughts. Some time passed in painful and +tumultuous fluctuation. My aversion to this catastrophe, rather than a +belief of being, by that means, able to prevent or repair the evil, +induced me to attempt to enter his chamber. It was possible that my +conjectures were erroneous.</p> + +<p>The door of his room was locked. I knocked; I demanded entrance in a low +voice; I put my eye and my ear to the keyhole and the crevices; nothing +could be heard or seen. It was unavoidable to conclude that no one was +within; yet the effluvia of gunpowder was perceptible.</p> + +<p>Perhaps the room above had been the scene of this catastrophe. I +ascended the second flight of stairs. I approached the door. No sound +could be caught by my most vigilant attention. I put out the light that +I carried, and was then able to perceive that there was light within the +room. I scarcely knew how to act. For some minutes I paused at the door. +I spoke, and requested permission to enter. My words were succeeded by a +death-like stillness. At length I ventured softly to withdraw the bolt, +to open and to advance within the room. Nothing could exceed the horror +of my expectation; yet I was startled by the scene that I beheld.</p> + +<p>In a chair, whose back was placed against the front wall, sat Welbeck. +My entrance alarmed him not, nor roused him from the stupor into which +he was plunged. He rested his hands upon his knees, and his eyes were +riveted to something that lay, at the distance of a few feet before +him, on the floor. A second glance was sufficient to inform me of what +nature this object was. It was the body of a man, bleeding, ghastly, and +still exhibiting the marks of convulsion and agony!</p> + +<p>I shall omit to describe the shock which a spectacle like this +communicated to my unpractised senses. I was nearly as panic-struck and +powerless as Welbeck himself. I gazed, without power of speech, at one +time, at Welbeck; then I fixed terrified eyes on the distorted features +of the dead. At length, Welbeck, recovering from his reverie, looked up, +as if to see who it was that had entered. No surprise, no alarm, was +betrayed by him on seeing me. He manifested no desire or intention to +interrupt the fearful silence.</p> + +<p>My thoughts wandered in confusion and terror. The first impulse was to +fly from the scene; but I could not be long insensible to the exigences +of the moment. I saw that affairs must not be suffered to remain in +their present situation. The insensibility or despair of Welbeck +required consolation and succour. How to communicate my thoughts, or +offer my assistance, I knew not. What led to this murderous catastrophe; +who it was whose breathless corpse was before me; what concern Welbeck +had in producing his death; were as yet unknown.</p> + +<p>At length he rose from his seat, and strode at first with faltering, and +then with more steadfast steps, across the floor. This motion seemed to +put him in possession of himself. He seemed now, for the first time, to +recognise my presence. He turned to me, and said, in a tone of +severity,—</p> + +<p>"How now? What brings you here?"</p> + +<p>This rebuke was unexpected. I stammered out, in reply, that the report +of the pistol had alarmed me, and that I came to discover the cause of +it.</p> + +<p>He noticed not my answer, but resumed his perturbed steps, and his +anxious but abstracted looks. Suddenly he checked himself, and, glancing +a furious eye at the corpse, he muttered, "Yes, the die is cast. This +worthless and miserable scene shall last no longer. I will at once get +rid of life and all its humiliations."</p> + +<p>Here succeeded a new pause. The course of his thoughts seemed now to +become once more tranquil. Sadness, rather than fury, overspread his +features; and his accent, when he spoke to me, was not faltering, but +solemn.</p> + +<p>"Mervyn," said he, "you comprehend not this scene. Your youth and +inexperience make you a stranger to a deceitful and flagitious world. +You know me not. It is time that this ignorance should vanish. The +knowledge of me and of my actions may be of use to you. It may teach you +to avoid the shoals on which my virtue and my peace have been wrecked; +but to the rest of mankind it can be of no use. The ruin of my fame is, +perhaps, irretrievable; but the height of my iniquity need not be known. +I perceive in you a rectitude and firmness worthy to be trusted; promise +me, therefore, that not a syllable of what I tell you shall ever pass +your lips."</p> + +<p>I had lately experienced the inconvenience of a promise; but I was now +confused, embarrassed, ardently inquisitive as to the nature of this +scene, and unapprized of the motives that might afterwards occur, +persuading or compelling me to disclosure. The promise which he exacted +was given. He resumed:—</p> + +<p>"I have detained you in my service, partly for your own benefit, but +chiefly for mine. I intended to inflict upon you injury and to do you +good. Neither of these ends can I now accomplish, unless the lessons +which my example may inculcate shall inspire you with fortitude and arm +you with caution.</p> + +<p>"What it was that made me thus, I know not. I am not destitute of +understanding. My thirst of knowledge, though irregular, is ardent. I +can talk and can feel as virtue and justice prescribe; yet the tenor of +my actions has been uniform. One tissue of iniquity and folly has been +my life; while my thoughts have been familiar with enlightened and +disinterested principles. Scorn and detestation I have heaped upon +myself. Yesterday is remembered with remorse. To-morrow is contemplated +with anguish and fear; yet every day is productive of the same crimes +and of the same follies.</p> + +<p>"I was left, by the insolvency of my father, (a trader of Liverpool,) +without any means of support but such as labour should afford me. +Whatever could generate pride, and the love of independence, was my +portion. Whatever can incite to diligence was the growth of my +condition; yet my indolence was a cureless disease; and there were no +arts too sordid for me to practise.</p> + +<p>"I was content to live on the bounty of a kinsman. His family was +numerous, and his revenue small. He forbore to upbraid me, or even to +insinuate the propriety of providing for myself; but he empowered me to +pursue any liberal or mechanical profession which might suit my taste. I +was insensible to every generous motive. I laboured to forget my +dependent and disgraceful condition, because the remembrance was a +source of anguish, without being able to inspire me with a steady +resolution to change it.</p> + +<p>"I contracted an acquaintance with a woman who was unchaste, perverse, +and malignant. Me, however, she found it no difficult task to deceive. +My uncle remonstrated against the union. He took infinite pains to +unveil my error, and to convince me that wedlock was improper for one +destitute, as I was, of the means of support, even if the object of my +choice were personally unexceptionable.</p> + +<p>"His representations were listened to with anger. That he thwarted my +will in this respect, even by affectionate expostulation, cancelled all +that debt of gratitude which I owed to him. I rewarded him for all his +kindness by invective and disdain, and hastened to complete my +ill-omened marriage. I had deceived the woman's father by assertions of +possessing secret resources. To gratify my passion, I descended to +dissimulation and falsehood. He admitted me into his family, as the +husband of his child; but the character of my wife and the fallacy of my +assertions were quickly discovered. He denied me accommodation under his +roof, and I was turned forth to the world to endure the penalty of my +rashness and my indolence.</p> + +<p>"Temptation would have moulded me into any villanous shape. My virtuous +theories and comprehensive erudition would not have saved me from the +basest of crimes. Luckily for me, I was, for the present, exempted from +temptation. I had formed an acquaintance with a young American captain. +On being partially informed of my situation, he invited me to embark +with him for his own country. My passage was gratuitous. I arrived, in a +short time, at Charleston, which was the place of his abode.</p> + +<p>"He introduced me to his family, every member of which was, like +himself, imbued with affection and benevolence. I was treated like their +son and brother. I was hospitably entertained until I should be able to +select some path of lucrative industry. Such was my incurable depravity, +that I made no haste to select my pursuit. An interval of inoccupation +succeeded, which I applied to the worst purposes.</p> + +<p>"My friend had a sister, who was married, but during the absence of her +husband resided with her family. Hence originated our acquaintance. The +purest of human hearts and the most vigorous understanding were hers. +She idolized her husband, who well deserved to be the object of her +adoration. Her affection for him, and her general principles, appeared +to be confirmed beyond the power to be shaken. I sought her intercourse +without illicit views; I delighted in the effusions of her candour and +the flashes of her intelligence; I conformed, by a kind of instinctive +hypocrisy, to her views; I spoke and felt from the influence of +immediate and momentary conviction. She imagined she had found in me a +friend worthy to partake in all her sympathies and forward all her +wishes. We were mutually deceived. She was the victim of self-delusion; +but I must charge myself with practising deceit both upon myself and +her.</p> + +<p>"I reflect with astonishment and horror on the steps which led to her +degradation and to my calamity. In the high career of passion all +consequences were overlooked. She was the dupe of the most audacious +sophistry and the grossest delusion. I was the slave of sensual impulses +and voluntary blindness. The effect may be easily conceived. Not till +symptoms of pregnancy began to appear were our eyes opened to the ruin +which impended over us.</p> + +<p>"Then I began to revolve the consequences, which the mist of passion had +hitherto concealed. I was tormented by the pangs of remorse, and pursued +by the phantom of ingratitude. To complete my despair, this unfortunate +lady was apprized of my marriage with another woman; a circumstance +which I had anxiously concealed from her. She fled from her father's +house at a time when her husband and brother were hourly expected. What +became of her I knew not. She left behind her a letter to her father, in +which the melancholy truth was told.</p> + +<p>"Shame and remorse had no power over my life. To elude the storm of +invective and upbraiding, to quiet the uproar of my mind, I did not +betake myself to voluntary death. My pusillanimity still clung to this +wretched existence. I abruptly retired from the scene, and, repairing to +the port, embarked in the first vessel which appeared. The ship chanced +to belong to Wilmington, in Delaware, and here I sought out an obscure +and cheap abode.</p> + +<p>"I possessed no means of subsistence. I was unknown to my neighbours, +and desired to remain unknown. I was unqualified for manual labour by +all the habits of my life; but there was no choice between penury and +diligence,—between honest labour and criminal inactivity. I mused +incessantly on the forlornness of my condition. Hour after hour passed, +and the horrors of want began to encompass me. I sought with eagerness +for an avenue by which I might escape from it. The perverseness of my +nature led me on from one guilty thought to another. I took refuge in my +customary sophistries, and reconciled myself at length to a scheme +of—<i>forgery</i>!"</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER X.</h3> + + +<p>"Having ascertained my purpose, it was requisite to search out the means +by which I might effect it. These were not clearly or readily suggested. +The more I contemplated my project, the more numerous and arduous its +difficulties appeared. I had no associates in my undertaking. A due +regard to my safety, and the unextinguished sense of honour, deterred me +from seeking auxiliaries and co-agents. The esteem of mankind was the +spring of all my activity, the parent of all my virtue and all my vice. +To preserve this, it was necessary that my guilty projects should have +neither witness nor partaker.</p> + +<p>"I quickly discovered that to execute this scheme demanded time, +application, and money, none of which my present situation would permit +me to devote to it. At first it appeared that an attainable degree of +skill and circumspection would enable me to arrive, by means of +counterfeit bills, to the pinnacle of affluence and honour. My error was +detected by a closer scrutiny, and I finally saw nothing in this path +but enormous perils and insurmountable impediments.</p> + +<p>"Yet what alternative was offered me? To maintain myself by the labour +of my hands, to perform any toilsome or prescribed task, was +incompatible with my nature. My habits debarred me from country +occupations. My pride regarded as vile and ignominious drudgery any +employment which the town could afford. Meanwhile, my wants were as +urgent as ever, and my funds were exhausted.</p> + +<p>"There are few, perhaps, whose external situation resembled mine, who +would have found in it any thing but incitements to industry and +invention. A thousand methods of subsistence, honest but laborious, +were at my command, but to these I entertained an irreconcilable +aversion. Ease and the respect attendant upon opulence I was willing to +purchase at the price of ever-wakeful suspicion and eternal remorse; +but, even at this price, the purchase was impossible.</p> + +<p>"The desperateness of my condition became hourly more apparent. The +further I extended my view, the darker grew the clouds which hung over +futurity. Anguish and infamy appeared to be the inseparable conditions +of my existence. There was one mode of evading the evils that impended. +To free myself from self-upbraiding and to shun the persecutions of my +fortune was possible only by shaking off life itself.</p> + +<p>"One evening, as I traversed the bank of the creek, these dismal +meditations were uncommonly intense. They at length terminated in a +resolution to throw myself into the stream. The first impulse was to +rush instantly to my death; but the remembrance of papers, lying at my +lodgings, which might unfold more than I desired to the curiosity of +survivors, induced me to postpone this catastrophe till the next +morning.</p> + +<p>"My purpose being formed, I found my heart lightened of its usual +weight. By you it will be thought strange, but it is nevertheless true, +that I derived from this new prospect not only tranquillity but +cheerfulness. I hastened home. As soon as I entered, my landlord +informed me that a person had been searching for me in my absence. This +was an unexampled incident, and foreboded me no good. I was strongly +persuaded that my visitant had been led hither not by friendly but +hostile purposes. This persuasion was confirmed by the description of +the stranger's guise and demeanour given by my landlord. My fears +instantly recognised the image of Watson, the man by whom I had been so +eminently benefited, and whose kindness I had compensated by the ruin of +his sister and the confusion of his family.</p> + +<p>"An interview with this man was less to be endured than to look upon the +face of an avenging deity. I was determined to avoid this interview, +and, for this end, to execute my fatal purpose within the hour. My +papers were collected with a tremulous hand, and consigned to the +flames. I then bade my landlord inform all visitants that I should not +return till the next day, and once more hastened towards the river.</p> + +<p>"My way led past the inn where one of the stages from Baltimore was +accustomed to stop. I was not unaware that Watson had possibly been +brought in the coach which had recently arrived, and which now stood +before the door of the inn. The danger of my being descried or +encountered by him as I passed did not fail to occur. This was to be +eluded by deviating from the main street.</p> + +<p>"Scarcely had I turned a corner for this purpose when I was accosted by +a young man whom I knew to be an inhabitant of the town, but with whom I +had hitherto had no intercourse but what consisted in a transient +salutation. He apologized for the liberty of addressing me, and, at the +same time, inquired if I understood the French language.</p> + +<p>"Being answered in the affirmative, he proceeded to tell me that in the +stage, just arrived, had come a passenger, a youth who appeared to be +French, who was wholly unacquainted with our language, and who had been +seized with a violent disease.</p> + +<p>"My informant had felt compassion for the forlorn condition of the +stranger, and had just been seeking me at my lodgings, in hope that my +knowledge of French would enable me to converse with the sick man, and +obtain from him a knowledge of his situation and views.</p> + +<p>"The apprehensions I had precipitately formed were thus removed, and I +readily consented to perform this service. The youth was, indeed, in a +deplorable condition. Besides the pains of his disease, he was +overpowered by dejection. The innkeeper was extremely anxious for the +removal of his guest. He was by no means willing to sustain the trouble +and expense of a sick or a dying man, for which it was scarcely probable +that he should ever be reimbursed. The traveller had no baggage, and his +dress betokened the pressure of many wants.</p> + +<p>"My compassion for this stranger was powerfully awakened. I was in +possession of a suitable apartment, for which I had no power to pay the +rent that was accruing; but my inability in this respect was unknown, +and I might enjoy my lodgings unmolested for some weeks. The fate of +this youth would be speedily decided, and I should be left at liberty to +execute my first intentions before my embarrassments should be visibly +increased.</p> + +<p>"After a moment's pause, I conducted the stranger to my home, placed him +in my own bed, and became his nurse. His malady was such as is known in +the tropical islands by the name of the yellow or malignant fever, and +the physician who was called speedily pronounced his case desperate.</p> + +<p>"It was my duty to warn him of the death that was hastening, and to +promise the fulfilment of any of his wishes not inconsistent with my +present situation. He received my intelligence with fortitude, and +appeared anxious to communicate some information respecting his own +state. His pangs and his weakness scarcely allowed him to be +intelligible. From his feeble efforts and broken narrative I collected +thus much concerning his family and fortune.</p> + +<p>"His father's name was Vincentio Lodi. From a merchant at Leghorn, he +had changed himself into a planter in the island of Guadaloupe. His son +had been sent, at an early age, for the benefits of education, to +Europe. The young Vincentio was, at length, informed by his father, +that, being weary of his present mode of existence, he had determined to +sell his property and transport himself to the United States. The son +was directed to hasten home, that he might embark, with his father, on +this voyage.</p> + +<p>"The summons was cheerfully obeyed. The youth, on his arrival at the +island, found preparation making for the funeral of his father. It +appeared that the elder Lodi had flattered one of his slaves with the +prospect of his freedom, but had, nevertheless, included this slave in +the sale that he had made of his estate. Actuated by revenge, the slave +assassinated Lodi in the open street, and resigned himself, without a +struggle, to the punishment which the law had provided for such a deed.</p> + +<p>"The property had been recently transferred, and the price was now +presented to young Vincentio by the purchaser. He was by no means +inclined to adopt his father's project, and was impatient to return with +his inheritance to France. Before this could be done, the conduct of his +father had rendered a voyage to the Continent indispensable.</p> + +<p>"Lodi had a daughter, whom, a few weeks previous to his death, he had +intrusted to an American captain for whom he had contracted a +friendship. The vessel was bound to Philadelphia; but the conduct she +was to pursue, and the abode she was to select, on her arrival, were +known only to the father, whose untimely death involved the son in +considerable uncertainty with regard to his sister's fate. His anxiety +on this account induced him to seize the first conveyance that offered. +In a short time he landed at Baltimore.</p> + +<p>"As soon as he recovered from the fatigues of his voyage, he prepared to +go to Philadelphia. Thither his baggage was immediately sent under the +protection of a passenger and countryman. His money consisted in +Portuguese gold, which, in pursuance of advice, he had changed into +bank-notes. He besought me, in pathetic terms, to search out his sister, +whose youth and poverty, and ignorance of the language and manners of +the country, might expose her to innumerable hardships. At the same +time, he put a pocket-book and small volume into my hand, indicating, by +his countenance and gestures, his desire that I would deliver them to +his sister.</p> + +<p>"His obsequies being decently performed, I had leisure to reflect upon +the change in my condition which this incident had produced. In the +pocket-book were found bills to the amount of twenty thousand dollars. +The volume proved to be a manuscript, written by the elder Lodi in +Italian, and contained memoirs of the ducal house of Visconti, from whom +the writer believed himself to have lineally descended.</p> + +<p>"Thus had I arrived, by an avenue so much beyond my foresight, at the +possession of wealth. The evil which impelled me to the brink of +suicide, and which was the source, though not of all, yet of the larger +portion, of my anguish, was now removed. What claims to honour or to +ease were consequent on riches were, by an extraordinary fortune, now +conferred upon me.</p> + +<p>"Such, for a time, were my new-born but transitory raptures. I forgot +that this money was not mine. That it had been received, under every +sanction of fidelity, for another's use. To retain it was equivalent to +robbery. The sister of the deceased was the rightful claimant; it was my +duty to search her out, and perform my tacit but sacred obligations, by +putting the whole into her possession.</p> + +<p>"This conclusion was too adverse to my wishes not to be strenuously +combated. I asked what it was that gave man the power of ascertaining +the successor to his property. During his life, he might transfer the +actual possession; but, if vacant at his death, he into whose hands +accident should cast it was the genuine proprietor. It is true, that the +law had sometimes otherwise decreed, but in law there was no validity +further than it was able, by investigation and punishment, to enforce +its decrees: but would the law extort this money from me?</p> + +<p>"It was rather by gesture than by words that the will of Lodi was +imparted. It was the topic of remote inferences and vague conjecture +rather than of explicit and unerring declarations. Besides, if the lady +were found, would not prudence dictate the reservation of her fortune to +be administered by me, for her benefit? Of this her age and education +had disqualified herself. It was sufficient for the maintenance of both. +She would regard me as her benefactor and protector. By supplying all +her wants and watching over her safety without apprizing her of the +means by which I shall be enabled to do this, I shall lay irresistible +claims to her love and her gratitude.</p> + +<p>"Such were the sophistries by which reason was seduced and my integrity +annihilated. I hastened away from my present abode. I easily traced the +baggage of the deceased to an inn, and gained possession of it. It +contained nothing but clothes and books. I then instituted the most +diligent search after the young lady. For a time, my exertions were +fruitless.</p> + +<p>"Meanwhile, the possessor of this house thought proper to embark with +his family for Europe. The sum which he demanded for his furniture, +though enormous, was precipitately paid by me. His servants were +continued in their former stations, and in the day at which he +relinquished the mansion, I entered on possession.</p> + +<p>"There was no difficulty in persuading the world that Welbeck was a +personage of opulence and rank. My birth and previous adventures it was +proper to conceal. The facility with which mankind are misled in their +estimate of characters, their proneness to multiply inferences and +conjectures, will not be readily conceived by one destitute of my +experience. My sudden appearance on the stage, my stately reserve, my +splendid habitation, and my circumspect deportment, were sufficient to +entitle me to homage. The artifices that were used to unveil the truth, +and the guesses that were current respecting me, were adapted to gratify +my ruling passion.</p> + +<p>"I did not remit my diligence to discover the retreat of Mademoiselle +Lodi. I found her, at length, in the family of a kinsman of the captain +under whose care she had come to America. Her situation was irksome and +perilous. She had already experienced the evils of being protectorless +and indigent, and my seasonable interference snatched her from impending +and less supportable ills.</p> + +<p>"I could safely unfold all that I knew of her brother's history, except +the legacy which he had left. I ascribed the diligence with which I had +sought her to his death-bed injunctions, and prevailed upon her to +accept from me the treatment which she would have received from her +brother if he had continued to live, and if his power to benefit had +been equal to my own.</p> + +<p>"Though less can be said in praise of the understanding than of the +sensibilities of this woman, she is one whom no one could refrain from +loving, though placed in situations far less favourable to the +generation of that sentiment than mine. In habits of domestic and +incessant intercourse, in the perpetual contemplation of features +animated by boundless gratitude and ineffable sympathies, it could not +be expected that either she or I should escape enchantment.</p> + +<p>"The poison was too sweet not to be swallowed with avidity by me. Too +late I remembered that I was already enslaved by inextricable +obligations. It was easy to have hidden this impediment from the eyes of +my companion, but here my integrity refused to yield. I can, indeed, lay +claim to little merit on account of this forbearance. If there had been +no alternative between deceit and the frustration of my hopes, I should +doubtless have dissembled the truth with as little scruple on this as on +a different occasion; but I could not be blind to the weakness of her +with whom I had to contend.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XI.</h3> + + +<p>"Meanwhile large deductions had been made from my stock of money, and +the remnant would be speedily consumed by my present mode of life. My +expenses far exceeded my previous expectations. In no long time I should +be reduced to my ancient poverty, which the luxurious existence that I +now enjoyed, and the regard due to my beloved and helpless companion, +would render more irksome than ever. Some scheme to rescue me from this +fate was indispensable; but my aversion to labour, to any pursuit the +end of which was merely gain, and which would require application and +attention, continued undiminished.</p> + +<p>"I was plunged anew into dejection and perplexity. From this I was +somewhat relieved by a plan suggested by Mr. Thetford. I thought I had +experience of his knowledge and integrity, and the scheme that he +proposed seemed liable to no possibility of miscarriage. A ship was to +be purchased, supplied with a suitable cargo, and despatched to a port +in the West Indies. Loss from storms and enemies was to be precluded by +insurance. Every hazard was to be enumerated, and the ship and cargo +valued at the highest rate. Should the voyage be safely performed, the +profits would be double the original expense. Should the ship be taken +or wrecked, the insurers would have bound themselves to make ample, +speedy, and certain indemnification. Thetford's brother, a wary and +experienced trader, was to be the supercargo.</p> + +<p>"All my money was laid out upon this scheme. Scarcely enough was +reserved to supply domestic and personal wants. Large debts were +likewise incurred. Our caution had, as we conceived, annihilated every +chance of failure. Too much could not be expended on a project so +infallible; and the vessel, amply fitted and freighted, departed on her +voyage.</p> + +<p>"An interval, not devoid of suspense and anxiety, succeeded. My +mercantile inexperience made me distrust the clearness of my own +discernment, and I could not but remember that my utter and +irretrievable destruction was connected with the failure of my scheme. +Time added to my distrust and apprehensions. The time at which tidings +of the ship were to be expected elapsed without affording any +information of her destiny. My anxieties, however, were to be carefully +hidden from the world. I had taught mankind to believe that this project +had been adopted more for amusement than gain; and the debts which I had +contracted seemed to arise from willingness to adhere to established +maxims, more than from the pressure of necessity.</p> + +<p>"Month succeeded month, and intelligence was still withheld. The notes +which I had given for one-third of the cargo, and for the premium of +insurance, would shortly become due. For the payment of the former, and +the cancelling of the latter, I had relied upon the expeditious return +or the demonstrated loss of the vessel. Neither of these events had +taken place.</p> + +<p>"My cares were augmented from another quarter. My companion's situation +now appeared to be such as, if our intercourse had been sanctified by +wedlock, would have been regarded with delight. As it was, no symptoms +were equally to be deplored. Consequences, as long as they were involved +in uncertainty, were extenuated or overlooked; but now, when they became +apparent and inevitable, were fertile of distress and upbraiding.</p> + +<p>"Indefinable fears, and a desire to monopolize all the meditations and +affections of this being, had induced me to perpetuate her ignorance of +any but her native language, and debar her from all intercourse with the +world. My friends were of course inquisitive respecting her character, +adventures, and particularly her relation to me. The consciousness how +much the truth redounded to my dishonour made me solicitous to lead +conjecture astray. For this purpose I did not discountenance the +conclusion that was adopted by some,—that she was my daughter. I +reflected that all dangerous surmises would be effectually precluded by +this belief.</p> + +<p>"These precautions afforded me some consolation in my present +difficulties. It was requisite to conceal the lady's condition from the +world. If this should be ineffectual, it would not be difficult to +divert suspicion from my person. The secrecy that I had practised would +be justified, in the apprehension of those to whom the personal +condition of Clemenza should be disclosed, by the feelings of a father.</p> + +<p>"Meanwhile, it was an obvious expedient to remove the unhappy lady to a +distance from impertinent observers. A rural retreat, lonely and +sequestered, was easily procured, and hither she consented to repair. +This arrangement being concerted, I had leisure to reflect upon the +evils which every hour brought nearer, and which threatened to +exterminate me.</p> + +<p>"My inquietudes forbade me to sleep, and I was accustomed to rise before +day and seek some respite in the fields. Returning from one of these +unseasonable rambles, I chanced to meet you. Your resemblance to the +deceased Lodi, in person and visage, is remarkable. When you first met +my eye, this similitude startled me. Your subsequent appeal to my +compassion was clothed in such terms as formed a powerful contrast with +your dress, and prepossessed me greatly in favour of your education and +capacity.</p> + +<p>"In my present hopeless condition, every incident, however trivial, was +attentively considered, with a view to extract from it some means of +escaping from my difficulties. My love for the Italian girl, in spite of +all my efforts to keep it alive, had begun to languish. Marriage was +impossible; and had now, in some degree, ceased to be desirable. We are +apt to judge of others by ourselves. The passion I now found myself +disposed to ascribe chiefly to fortuitous circumstances; to the impulse +of gratitude, and the exclusion of competitors; and believed that your +resemblance to her brother, your age and personal accomplishments, +might, after a certain time, and in consequence of suitable +contrivances on my part, give a new direction to her feelings. To gain +your concurrence, I relied upon your simplicity, your gratitude, and +your susceptibility to the charms of this bewitching creature.</p> + +<p>"I contemplated, likewise, another end. Mrs. Wentworth is rich. A youth +who was once her favourite, and designed to inherit her fortunes, has +disappeared, for some years, from the scene. His death is most probable, +but of that there is no satisfactory information. The life of this +person, whose name is Clavering, is an obstacle to some designs which +had occurred to me in relation to this woman. My purposes were crude and +scarcely formed. I need not swell the catalogue of my errors by +expatiating upon them. Suffice it to say that the peculiar circumstances +of your introduction to me led me to reflections on the use that might +be made of your agency, in procuring this lady's acquiescence in my +schemes. You were to be ultimately persuaded to confirm her in the +belief that her nephew was dead. To this consummation it was +indispensable to lead you by slow degrees and circuitous paths. +Meanwhile, a profound silence, with regard to your genuine history, was +to be observed; and to this forbearance your consent was obtained with +more readiness than I expected.</p> + +<p>"There was an additional motive for the treatment you received from me. +My personal projects and cares had hitherto prevented me from reading +Lodi's manuscript; a slight inspection, however, was sufficient to prove +that the work was profound and eloquent. My ambition has panted, with +equal avidity, after the reputation of literature and opulence. To claim +the authorship of this work was too harmless and specious a stratagem +not to be readily suggested. I meant to translate it into English, and +to enlarge it by enterprising incidents of my own invention. My scruples +to assume the merit of the original composer might thus be removed. For +this end, your assistance as an amanuensis would be necessary.</p> + +<p>"You will perceive that all these projects depended on the seasonable +arrival of intelligence from ——. The delay of another week would seal +my destruction. The silence might arise from the foundering of the ship +and the destruction of all on board. In this case, the insurance was not +forfeited, but payment could not be obtained within a year. Meanwhile, +the premium and other debts must be immediately discharged, and this was +beyond my power. Meanwhile, I was to live in a manner that would not +belie my pretensions; but my coffers were empty.</p> + +<p>"I cannot adequately paint the anxieties with which I have been haunted. +Each hour has added to the burden of my existence, till, in consequence +of the events of this day, it has become altogether insupportable. Some +hours ago, I was summoned by Thetford to his house. The messenger +informed me that tidings had been received of my ship. In answer to my +eager interrogations, he could give no other information than that she +had been captured by the British. He was unable to relate particulars.</p> + +<p>"News of her safe return would, indeed, have been far more acceptable; +but even this information was a source of infinite congratulation. It +precluded the demand of my insurers. The payment of other debts might be +postponed for a month, and my situation be the same as before the +adoption of this successless scheme. Hope and joy were reinstated in my +bosom, and I hasted to Thetford's counting-house.</p> + +<p>"He received me with an air of gloomy dissatisfaction. I accounted for +his sadness by supposing him averse to communicate information which was +less favourable than our wishes had dictated. He confirmed, with visible +reluctance, the news of her capture. He had just received letters from +his brother, acquainting him with all particulars, and containing the +official documents of this transaction.</p> + +<p>"This had no tendency to damp my satisfaction, and I proceeded to peruse +with eagerness the papers which he put into my hand. I had not proceeded +far, when my joyous hopes vanished. Two French mulattoes had, after much +solicitation, and the most solemn promises to carry with them no +articles which the laws of war decree to be contraband, obtained a +passage in the vessel. She was speedily encountered by a privateer, by +whom every receptacle was ransacked. In a chest, belonging to the +Frenchmen, and which they had affirmed to contain nothing but their +clothes, were found two sabres, and other accoutrements of an officer of +cavalry. Under this pretence, the vessel was captured and condemned, and +this was a cause of forfeiture which had not been provided against in +the contract of insurance.</p> + +<p>"By this untoward event my hopes were irreparably blasted. The utmost +efforts were demanded to conceal my thoughts from my companion. The +anguish that preyed upon my heart was endeavoured to be masked by looks +of indifference. I pretended to have been previously informed by the +messenger not only of the capture, but of the cause that led to it, and +forbore to expatiate upon my loss, or to execrate the authors of my +disappointment. My mind, however, was the theatre of discord and agony, +and I waited with impatience for an opportunity to leave him.</p> + +<p>"For want of other topics, I asked by whom this information had been +brought. He answered, that the bearer was Captain Amos Watson, whose +vessel had been forfeited, at the same time, under a different pretence. +He added that, my name being mentioned accidentally to Watson, the +latter had betrayed marks of great surprise, and been very earnest in +his inquiries respecting my situation. Having obtained what knowledge +Thetford was able to communicate, the captain had departed, avowing a +former acquaintance with me, and declaring his intention of paying me a +visit.</p> + +<p>"These words operated on my frame like lightning. All within me was +tumult and terror, and I rushed precipitately out of the house. I went +forward with unequal steps, and at random. Some instinct led me into the +fields, and I was not apprized of the direction of my steps, till, +looking up, I found myself upon the shore of Schuylkill.</p> + +<p>"Thus was I, a second time, overborne by hopeless and incurable evils. +An interval of motley feelings, of specious artifice and contemptible +imposture, had elapsed since my meeting with the stranger at Wilmington. +Then my forlorn state had led me to the brink of suicide. A brief and +feverish respite had been afforded me, but now was I transported to the +verge of the same abyss.</p> + +<p>"Amos Watson was the brother of the angel whom I had degraded and +destroyed. What but fiery indignation and unappeasable vengeance could +lead him into my presence? With what heart could I listen to his +invectives? How could I endure to look upon the face of one whom I had +loaded with such atrocious and intolerable injuries?</p> + +<p>"I was acquainted with his loftiness of mind; his detestation of +injustice, and the whirlwind passions that ingratitude and villany like +mine were qualified to awaken in his bosom. I dreaded not his violence. +The death that he might be prompted to inflict was no object of +aversion. It was poverty and disgrace, the detection of my crimes, the +looks and voice of malediction and upbraiding, from which my cowardice +shrunk.</p> + +<p>"Why should I live? I must vanish from that stage which I had lately +trodden. My flight must be instant and precipitate. To be a fugitive +from exasperated creditors, and from the industrious revenge of Watson, +was an easy undertaking; but whither could I fly, where I should not be +pursued by the phantoms of remorse, by the dread of hourly detection, by +the necessities of hunger and thirst? In what scene should I be exempt +from servitude and drudgery? Was my existence embellished with +enjoyments that would justify my holding it, encumbered with hardships +and immersed in obscurity?</p> + +<p>"There was no room for hesitation. To rush into the stream before me, +and put an end at once to my life and the miseries inseparably linked +with it, was the only proceeding which fate had left to my choice. My +muscles were already exerted for this end, when the helpless condition +of Clemenza was remembered. What provision could I make against the +evils that threatened her? Should I leave her utterly forlorn and +friendless? Mrs. Wentworth's temper was forgiving and compassionate. +Adversity had taught her to participate and her wealth enabled her to +relieve distress. Who was there by whom such powerful claims to succour +and protection could be urged as by this desolate girl? Might I not +state her situation in a letter to this lady, and urge irresistible +pleas for the extension of her kindness to this object?</p> + +<p>"These thoughts made me suspend my steps. I determined to seek my +habitation once more, and, having written and deposited this letter, to +return to the execution of my fatal purpose. I had scarcely reached my +own door, when some one approached along the pavement. The form, at +first, was undistinguishable, but, by coming, at length, within the +illumination of a lamp, it was perfectly recognised.</p> + +<p>"To avoid this detested interview was now impossible. Watson approached +and accosted me. In this conflict of tumultuous feelings I was still +able to maintain an air of intrepidity. His demeanour was that of a man +who struggles with his rage. His accents were hurried, and scarcely +articulate. 'I have ten words to say to you,' said he; 'lead into the +house, and to some private room. My business with you will be despatched +in a breath.'</p> + +<p>"I made him no answer, but led the way into my house, and to my study. +On entering this room, I put the light upon the table, and, turning to +my visitant, prepared silently to hear what he had to unfold. He struck +his clenched hand against the table with violence. His motion was of +that tempestuous kind as to overwhelm the power of utterance, and found +it easier to vent itself in gesticulations than in words. At length he +exclaimed,—</p> + +<p>"'It is well. Now has the hour, so long and so impatiently demanded by +my vengeance, arrived. Welbeck! Would that my first words could strike +thee dead! They will so, if thou hast any title to the name of man.</p> + +<p>"'My sister is dead; dead of anguish and a broken heart. Remote from her +friends; in a hovel; the abode of indigence and misery.</p> + +<p>"'Her husband is no more. He returned after a long absence, a tedious +navigation, and vicissitudes of hardships. He flew to the bosom of his +love; of his wife. She was gone; lost to him, and to virtue. In a fit of +desperation, he retired to his chamber and despatched himself. This is +the instrument with which the deed was performed.'</p> + +<p>"Saying this, Watson took a pistol from his pocket, and held it to my +head. I lifted not my hand to turn aside the weapon. I did not shudder +at the spectacle, or shrink from his approaching hand. With fingers +clasped together, and eyes fixed upon the floor, I waited till his fury +was exhausted. He continued:—</p> + +<p>"'All passed in a few hours. The elopement of his daughter,—the death +of his son. O my father! Most loved and most venerable of men! To see +thee changed into a maniac! Haggard and wild! Deterred from outrage on +thyself and those around thee by fetters and stripes! What was it that +saved me from a like fate? To view this hideous ruin, and to think by +whom it was occasioned! Yet not to become frantic like thee, my father; +or not destroy myself like thee, my brother! My friend!—</p> + +<p>"'No. For this hour was I reserved; to avenge your wrongs and mine in +the blood of this ungrateful villain.'</p> + +<p>"'There,' continued he, producing a second pistol, and tendering it to +me,—'there is thy defence. Take we opposite sides of this table, and +fire at the same instant.'</p> + +<p>"During this address I was motionless. He tendered the pistol, but I +unclasped not my hands to receive it.</p> + +<p>"'Why do you hesitate?' resumed he. 'Let the chance between us be equal, +or fire you first.'</p> + +<p>"'No,' said I, 'I am ready to die by your hand. I wish it. It will +preclude the necessity of performing the office for myself. I have +injured you, and merit all that your vengeance can inflict. I know your +nature too well to believe that my death will be perfect expiation. When +the gust of indignation is past, the remembrance of your deed will only +add to your sum of misery; yet I do not love you well enough to wish +that you would forbear. I desire to die, and to die by another's hand +rather than my own.'</p> + +<p>"'Coward!' exclaimed Watson, with augmented vehemence, 'you know me too +well to believe me capable of assassination. Vile subterfuge! +Contemptible plea! Take the pistol and defend yourself. You want not the +power or the will; but, knowing that I spurn at murder, you think your +safety will be found in passiveness. Your refusal will avail you little. +Your fame, if not your life, is at my mercy. If you falter now, I will +allow you to live, but only till I have stabbed your reputation.'</p> + +<p>"I now fixed my eyes steadfastly upon him, and spoke:—'How much a +stranger are you to the feelings of Welbeck! How poor a judge of his +cowardice! I take your pistol, and consent to your conditions.'</p> + +<p>"We took opposite sides of the table. 'Are you ready?' he cried; 'fire!'</p> + +<p>"Both triggers were drawn at the same instant. Both pistols were +discharged. Mine was negligently raised. Such is the untoward chance +that presides over human affairs; such is the malignant destiny by which +my steps have ever been pursued. The bullet whistled harmlessly by +me,—levelled by an eye that never before failed, and with so small an +interval between us. I escaped, but my blind and random shot took place +in his heart.</p> + +<p>"There is the fruit of this disastrous meeting. The catalogue of death +is thus completed. Thou sleepest, Watson! Thy sister is at rest, and so +art thou. Thy vows of vengeance are at an end. It was not reserved for +thee to be thy own and thy sister's avenger. Welbeck's measure of +transgressions is now full, and his own hand must execute the justice +that is due to him."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XII.</h3> + + +<p>Such was Welbeck's tale, listened to by me with an eagerness in which +every faculty was absorbed. How adverse to my dreams were the incidents +that had just been related! The curtain was lifted, and a scene of guilt +and ignominy disclosed where my rash and inexperienced youth had +suspected nothing but loftiness and magnanimity.</p> + +<p>For a while the wondrousness of this tale kept me from contemplating the +consequences that awaited us. My unfledged fancy had not hitherto soared +to this pitch. All was astounding by its novelty, or terrific by its +horror. The very scene of these offences partook, to my rustic +apprehension, of fairy splendour and magical abruptness. My +understanding was bemazed, and my senses were taught to distrust their +own testimony.</p> + +<p>From this musing state I was recalled by my companion, who said to me, +in solemn accents, "Mervyn! I have but two requests to make. Assist me +to bury these remains, and then accompany me across the river. I have no +power to compel your silence on the acts that you have witnessed. I have +meditated to benefit as well as to injure you; but I do not desire that +your demeanour should conform to any other standard than justice. You +have promised, and to that promise I trust.</p> + +<p>"If you choose to fly from this scene, to withdraw yourself from what +you may conceive to be a theatre of guilt or peril, the avenues are +open; retire unmolested and in silence. If you have a manlike spirit, if +you are grateful for the benefits bestowed upon you, if your discernment +enables you to see that compliance with my request will entangle you in +no guilt and betray you into no danger, stay, and aid me in hiding these +remains from human scrutiny.</p> + +<p>"Watson is beyond the reach of further injury. I never intended him +harm, though I have torn from him his sister and friend, and have +brought his life to an untimely close. To provide him a grave is a duty +that I owe to the dead and to the living. I shall quickly place myself +beyond the reach of inquisitors and judges, but would willingly rescue +from molestation or suspicion those whom I shall leave behind."</p> + +<p>What would have been the fruit of deliberation, if I had had the time or +power to deliberate, I know not. My thoughts flowed with tumult and +rapidity. To shut this spectacle from my view was the first impulse; but +to desert this man, in a time of so much need, appeared a thankless and +dastardly deportment. To remain where I was, to conform implicitly to +his direction, required no effort. Some fear was connected with his +presence, and with that of the dead; but, in the tremulous confusion of +my present thoughts, solitude would conjure up a thousand phantoms.</p> + +<p>I made no preparation to depart. I did not verbally assent to his +proposal. He interpreted my silence into acquiescence. He wrapped the +body in the carpet, and then, lifting one end, cast at me a look which +indicated his expectations that I would aid him in lifting this ghastly +burden. During this process, the silence was unbroken.</p> + +<p>I knew not whither he intended to convey the corpse. He had talked of +burial, but no receptacle had been provided. How far safety might depend +upon his conduct in this particular, I was unable to estimate. I was in +too heartless a mood to utter my doubts. I followed his example in +raising the corpse from the floor.</p> + +<p>He led the way into the passage and down-stairs. Having reached the +first floor, he unbolted a door which led into the cellar. The stairs +and passage were illuminated by lamps that hung from the ceiling and +were accustomed to burn during the night. Now, however, we were entering +darksome and murky recesses.</p> + + + + +<p>"Return," said he, in a tone of command, "and fetch the light. I will +wait for you."</p> + +<p>I obeyed. As I returned with the light, a suspicion stole into my mind, +that Welbeck had taken this opportunity to fly; and that, on regaining +the foot of the stairs, I should find the spot deserted by all but the +dead. My blood was chilled by this image. The momentary resolution it +inspired was to follow the example of the fugitive, and leave the +persons whom the ensuing day might convene on this spot, to form their +own conjectures as to the cause of this catastrophe.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile, I cast anxious eyes forward. Welbeck was discovered in the +same place and posture in which he had been left. Lifting the corpse and +its shroud in his arms, he directed me to follow him. The vaults beneath +were lofty and spacious. He passed from one to the other till we reached +a small and remote cell. Here he cast his burden on the ground. In the +fall, the face of Watson chanced to be disengaged from its covering. Its +closed eyes and sunken muscles were rendered in a tenfold degree ghastly +and rueful by the feeble light which the candle shed upon it.</p> + +<p>This object did not escape the attention of Welbeck. He leaned against +the wall, and, folding his arms, resigned himself to reverie. He gazed +upon the countenance of Watson, but his looks denoted his attention to +be elsewhere employed.</p> + +<p>As to me, my state will not be easily described. My eye roved fearfully +from one object to another. By turns it was fixed upon the murdered +person and the murderer. The narrow cell in which we stood, its +rudely-fashioned walls and arches, destitute of communication with the +external air, and its palpable dark scarcely penetrated by the rays of a +solitary candle, added to the silence which was deep and universal, +produced an impression on my fancy which no time will obliterate.</p> + +<p>Perhaps my imagination was distempered by terror. The incident which I +am going to relate may appear to have existed only in my fancy. Be that +as it may, I experienced all the effects which the fullest belief is +adapted to produce. Glancing vaguely at the countenance of Watson, my +attention was arrested by a convulsive motion in the eyelids. This +motion increased, till at length the eyes opened, and a glance, languid +but wild, was thrown around. Instantly they closed, and the tremulous +appearance vanished.</p> + +<p>I started from my place and was on the point of uttering some +involuntary exclamation. At the same moment, Welbeck seemed to recover +from his reverie.</p> + +<p>"How is this?" said he. "Why do we linger here? Every moment is +precious. We cannot dig for him a grave with our hands. Wait here, while +I go in search of a spade."</p> + +<p>Saying this, he snatched the candle from my hand, and hasted away. My +eye followed the light as its gleams shifted their place upon the walls +and ceilings, and, gradually vanishing, gave place to unrespited gloom. +This proceeding was so unexpected and abrupt, that I had no time to +remonstrate against it. Before I retrieved the power of reflection, the +light had disappeared and the footsteps were no longer to be heard.</p> + +<p>I was not, on ordinary occasions, destitute of equanimity; but perhaps +the imagination of man is naturally abhorrent of death, until tutored +into indifference by habit. Every circumstance combined to fill me with +shuddering and panic. For a while, I was enabled to endure my situation +by the exertions of my reason. That the lifeless remains of a human +being are powerless to injure or benefit, I was thoroughly persuaded. I +summoned this belief to my aid, and was able, if not to subdue, yet to +curb, my fears. I listened to catch the sound of the returning footsteps +of Welbeck, and hoped that every new moment would terminate my solitude.</p> + +<p>No signal of his coming was afforded. At length it occurred to me that +Welbeck had gone with no intention to return; that his malice had +seduced me hither to encounter the consequences of his deed. He had fled +and barred every door behind him. This suspicion may well be supposed to +overpower my courage, and to call forth desperate efforts for my +deliverance.</p> + +<p>I extended my hands and went forward. I had been too little attentive to +the situation and direction of these vaults and passages, to go forward +with undeviating accuracy. My fears likewise tended to confuse my +perceptions and bewilder my steps. Notwithstanding the danger of +encountering obstructions, I rushed towards the entrance with +precipitation.</p> + +<p>My temerity was quickly punished. In a moment, I was repelled by a +jutting angle of the wall, with such force that I staggered backward and +fell. The blow was stunning, and, when I recovered my senses, I +perceived that a torrent of blood was gushing from my nostrils. My +clothes were moistened with this unwelcome effusion, and I could not but +reflect on the hazard which I should incur by being detected in this +recess, covered by these accusing stains.</p> + +<p>This reflection once more set me on my feet and incited my exertions. I +now proceeded with greater wariness and caution. I had lost all distinct +notions of my way. My motions were at random. All my labour was to shun +obstructions and to advance whenever the vacuity would permit. By this +means, the entrance was at length found, and, after various efforts, I +arrived, beyond my hopes, at the foot of the staircase.</p> + +<p>I ascended, but quickly encountered an insuperable impediment. The door +at the stair-head was closed and barred. My utmost strength was exerted +in vain, to break the lock or the hinges. Thus were my direst +apprehensions fulfilled. Welbeck had left me to sustain the charge of +murder; to obviate suspicions the most atrocious and plausible that the +course of human events is capable of producing.</p> + +<p>Here I must remain till the morrow; till some one can be made to +overhear my calls and come to my deliverance. What effects will my +appearance produce on the spectator? Terrified by phantoms and stained +with blood, shall I not exhibit the tokens of a maniac as well as an +assassin?</p> + +<p>The corpse of Watson will quickly be discovered. If, previous to this +disclosure, I should change my blood-stained garments and withdraw into +the country, shall I not be pursued by the most vehement suspicions, +and, perhaps, hunted to my obscurest retreat by the ministers of +justice? I am innocent; but my tale, however circumstantial or true, +will scarcely suffice for my vindication. My flight will be construed +into a proof of incontestable guilt.</p> + +<p>While harassed by these thoughts, my attention was attracted by a faint +gleam cast upon the bottom of the staircase. It grew stronger, hovered +for a moment in my sight, and then disappeared. That it proceeded from a +lamp or candle, borne by some one along the passages, was no untenable +opinion, but was far less probable than that the effulgence was +meteorous. I confided in the latter supposition, and fortified myself +anew against the dread of preternatural dangers. My thoughts reverted to +the contemplation of the hazards and suspicions which flowed from my +continuance in this spot.</p> + +<p>In the midst of my perturbed musing, my attention was again recalled by +an illumination like the former. Instead of hovering and vanishing, it +was permanent. No ray could be more feeble; but the tangible obscurity +to which it succeeded rendered it conspicuous as an electrical flash. +For a while I eyed it without moving from my place, and in momentary +expectation of its disappearance.</p> + +<p>Remarking its stability, the propriety of scrutinizing it more nearly, +and of ascertaining the source whence it flowed, was at length +suggested. Hope, as well as curiosity, was the parent of my conduct. +Though utterly at a loss to assign the cause of this appearance, I was +willing to believe some connection between that cause and the means of +my deliverance.</p> + +<p>I had scarcely formed the resolution of descending the stair, when my +hope was extinguished by the recollection that the cellar had narrow and +grated windows, through which light from the street might possibly have +found access. A second recollection supplanted this belief, for in my +way to this staircase my attention would have been solicited, and my +steps, in some degree, been guided, by light coming through these +avenues.</p> + +<p>Having returned to the bottom of the stair, I perceived every part of +the long-drawn passage illuminated. I threw a glance forward to the +quarter whence the rays seemed to proceed, and beheld, at a considerable +distance, Welbeck in the cell which I had left, turning up the earth +with a spade.</p> + +<p>After a pause of astonishment, the nature of the error which I had +committed rushed upon my apprehension. I now perceived that the darkness +had misled me to a different staircase from that which I had originally +descended. It was apparent that Welbeck intended me no evil, but had +really gone in search of the instrument which he had mentioned.</p> + +<p>This discovery overwhelmed me with contrition and shame, though it freed +me from the terrors of imprisonment and accusation. To return to the +cell which I had left, and where Welbeck was employed in his disastrous +office, was the expedient which regard to my own safety unavoidably +suggested.</p> + +<p>Welbeck paused, at my approach, and betrayed a momentary consternation +at the sight of my ensanguined visage. The blood, by some inexplicable +process of nature, perhaps by the counteracting influence of fear, had +quickly ceased to flow. Whether the cause of my evasion, and of my flux +of blood, was guessed, or whether his attention was withdrawn, by more +momentous objects, from my condition, he proceeded in his task in +silence.</p> + +<p>A shallow bed and a slight covering of clay were provided for the +hapless Watson. Welbeck's movements were hurried and tremulous. His +countenance betokened a mind engrossed by a single purpose, in some +degree foreign to the scene before him. An intensity and fixedness of +features were conspicuous, that led me to suspect the subversion of his +reason.</p> + +<p>Having finished the task, he threw aside his implement. He then put into +my hand a pocket-book, saying it belonged to Watson, and might contain +something serviceable to the living. I might make what use of it I +thought proper. He then remounted the stairs, and, placing the candle on +a table in the hall, opened the principal door and went forth. I was +driven, by a sort of mechanical impulse, in his footsteps. I followed +him because it was agreeable to him and because I knew not whither else +to direct my steps.</p> + +<p>The streets were desolate and silent. The watchman's call, remotely and +faintly heard, added to the general solemnity. I followed my companion +in a state of mind not easily described. I had no spirit even to inquire +whither he was going. It was not till we arrived at the water's edge +that I persuaded myself to break silence. I then began to reflect on the +degree in which his present schemes might endanger Welbeck or myself. I +had acted long enough a servile and mechanical part; and been guided by +blind and foreign impulses. It was time to lay aside my fetters, and +demand to know whither the path tended in which I was importuned to +walk.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile I found myself entangled among boats and shipping. I am unable +to describe the spot by any indisputable tokens. I know merely that it +was the termination of one of the principal streets. Here Welbeck +selected a boat and prepared to enter it. For a moment I hesitated to +comply with his apparent invitation. I stammered out an +interrogation:—"Why is this? Why should we cross the river? What +service can I do for you? I ought to know the purpose of my voyage +before I enter it."</p> + +<p>He checked himself and surveyed me for a minute in silence. "What do you +fear?" said he. "Have I not explained my wishes? Merely cross the river +with me, for I cannot navigate a boat by myself. Is there any thing +arduous or mysterious in this undertaking? we part on the Jersey shore, +and I shall leave you to your destiny. All I shall ask from you will be +silence, and to hide from mankind what you know concerning me."</p> + +<p>He now entered the boat and urged me to follow his example. I +reluctantly complied, I perceived that the boat contained but one oar, +and that was a small one. He seemed startled and thrown into great +perplexity by this discovery. "It will be impossible," said he, in a +tone of panic and vexation, "to procure another at this hour: what is to +be done?"</p> + +<p>This impediment was by no means insuperable. I had sinewy arms, and knew +well how to use an oar for the double purpose of oar and rudder. I took +my station at the stern, and quickly extricated the boat from its +neighbours and from the wharves. I was wholly unacquainted with the +river. The bar by which it was encumbered I knew to exist, but in what +direction and to what extent it existed, and how it might be avoided in +the present state of the tide, I knew not. It was probable, therefore, +unknowing as I was of the proper track, that our boat would speedily +have grounded.</p> + +<p>My attention, meanwhile, was fixed upon the oar. My companion sat at the +prow, and was in a considerable degree unnoticed. I cast my eyes +occasionally at the scene which I had left. Its novelty, joined with the +incidents of my condition, threw me into a state of suspense and wonder +which frequently slackened my hand and left the vessel to be driven by +the downward current. Lights were sparingly seen, and these were +perpetually fluctuating, as masts, yards, and hulls were interposed, and +passed before them. In proportion as we receded from the shore, the +clamours seemed to multiply, and the suggestion that the city was +involved in confusion and uproar did not easily give way to maturer +thoughts. <i>Twelve</i> was the hour cried, and this ascended at once from +all quarters, and was mingled with the baying of dogs, so as to produce +trepidation and alarm.</p> + +<p>From this state of magnificent and awful feeling I was suddenly called +by the conduct of Welbeck. We had scarcely moved two hundred yards from +the shore, when he plunged into the water. The first conception was that +some implement or part of the boat had fallen over-board. I looked back +and perceived that his seat was vacant. In my first astonishment I +loosened my hold of the oar, and it floated away. The surface was smooth +as glass, and the eddy occasioned by his sinking was scarcely visible. I +had not time to determine whether this was designed or accidental. Its +suddenness deprived me of the power to exert myself for his succour. I +wildly gazed around me, in hopes of seeing him rise. After some time my +attention was drawn, by the sound of agitation in the water, to a +considerable distance.</p> + +<p>It was too dark for any thing to be distinctly seen. There was no cry +for help. The noise was like that of one vigorously struggling for a +moment, and then sinking to the bottom. I listened with painful +eagerness, but was unable to distinguish a third signal. He sunk to rise +no more.</p> + +<p>I was for a time inattentive to my own situation. The dreadfulness and +unexpectedness of this catastrophe occupied me wholly. The quick motion +of the lights upon the shore showed me that I was borne rapidly along +with the tide. How to help myself, how to impede my course or to regain +either shore, since I had lost the oar, I was unable to tell. I was no +less at a loss to conjecture whither the current, if suffered to control +my vehicle, would finally transport me.</p> + +<p>The disappearance of lights and buildings, and the diminution of the +noises, acquainted me that I had passed the town. It was impossible +longer to hesitate. The shore was to be regained by one way only, which +was swimming. To any exploit of this kind, my strength and my skill were +adequate. I threw away my loose gown; put the pocket-book of the +unfortunate Watson in my mouth, to preserve it from being injured by +moisture; and committed myself to the stream.</p> + +<p>I landed in a spot incommoded with mud and reeds. I sunk knee-deep into +the former, and was exhausted by the fatigue of extricating myself. At +length I recovered firm ground, and threw myself on the turf to repair +my wasted strength, and to reflect on the measures which my future +welfare enjoined me to pursue.</p> + +<p>What condition was ever parallel to mine? The transactions of the last +three days resembled the monstrous creations of delirium. They were +painted with vivid hues on my memory; but so rapid and incongruous were +these transitions, that I almost denied belief to their reality. They +exercised a bewildering and stupefying influence on my mind, from which +the meditations of an hour were scarcely sufficient to relieve me. +Gradually I recovered the power of arranging my ideas and forming +conclusions.</p> + +<p>Welbeck was dead. His property was swallowed up, and his creditors left +to wonder at his disappearance. All that was left was the furniture of +his house, to which Mrs. Wentworth would lay claim, in discharge of the +unpaid rent. What now was the destiny that awaited the lost and +friendless Mademoiselle Lodi? Where was she concealed? Welbeck had +dropped no intimation by which I might be led to suspect the place of +her abode. If my power, in other respects, could have contributed aught +to her relief, my ignorance of her asylum had utterly disabled me.</p> + +<p>But what of the murdered person? He had suddenly vanished from the face +of the earth. His fate and the place of his interment would probably be +suspected and ascertained. Was I sure to escape from the consequences of +this deed? Watson had relatives and friends. What influence on their +state and happiness his untimely and mysterious fate would possess, it +was obvious to inquire. This idea led me to the recollection of his +pocket-book. Some papers might be there explanatory of his situation.</p> + +<p>I resumed my feet. I knew not where to direct my steps. I was dropping +with wet, and shivering with the cold. I was destitute of habitation and +friend. I had neither money nor any valuable thing in my possession. I +moved forward mechanically and at random. Where I landed was at no great +distance from the verge of the town. In a short time I discovered the +glimmering of a distant lamp. To this I directed my steps, and here I +paused to examine the contents of the pocket-book.</p> + +<p>I found three bank-notes, each of fifty dollars, enclosed in a piece of +blank paper. Besides these were three letters, apparently written by his +wife, and dated at Baltimore. They were brief, but composed in a strain +of great tenderness, and containing affecting allusions to their child. +I could gather, from their date and tenor, that they were received +during his absence on his recent voyage; that her condition was +considerably necessitous, and surrounded by wants which their prolonged +separation had increased.</p> + +<p>The fourth letter was open, and seemed to have been very lately written. +It was directed to Mrs. Mary Watson. He informed her in it of his +arrival at Philadelphia from St. Domingo; of the loss of his ship and +cargo; and of his intention to hasten home with all possible expedition. +He told her that all was lost but one hundred and fifty dollars, the +greater part of which he should bring with him, to relieve her more +pressing wants. The letter was signed, and folded, and superscribed, but +unsealed.</p> + +<p>A little consideration showed me in what manner it became me, on this +occasion, to demean myself. I put the bank-notes in the letter, and +sealed it with a wafer; a few of which were found in the pocket-book. I +hesitated some time whether I should add any thing to the information +which the letter contained, by means of a pencil which offered itself to +my view; but I concluded to forbear. I could select no suitable terms in +which to communicate the mournful truth. I resolved to deposit this +letter at the post-office, where I knew letters could be left at all +hours.</p> + +<p>My reflections at length reverted to my own condition. What was the fate +reserved for me? How far my safety might be affected by remaining in the +city, in consequence of the disappearance of Welbeck, and my known +connection with the fugitive, it was impossible to foresee. My fears +readily suggested innumerable embarrassments and inconveniences which +would flow from this source. Besides, on what pretence should I remain? +To whom could I apply for protection or employment? All avenues, even to +subsistence, were shut against me. The country was my sole asylum. Here, +in exchange for my labour, I could at least purchase food, safety, and +repose. But, if my choice pointed to the country, there was no reason +for a moment's delay. It would be prudent to regain the fields, and be +far from this detested city before the rising of the sun.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile I was chilled and chafed by the clothes that I wore. To change +them for others was absolutely necessary to my ease. The clothes which I +wore were not my own, and were extremely unsuitable to my new condition. +My rustic and homely garb was deposited in my chamber at Welbeck's. +These thoughts suggested the design of returning thither. I considered +that, probably, the servants had not been alarmed. That the door was +unfastened, and the house was accessible. It would be easy to enter and +retire without notice; and this, not without some waverings and +misgivings, I presently determined to do.</p> + +<p>Having deposited my letter at the office, I proceeded to my late abode. +I approached, and lifted the latch with caution. There were no +appearances of any one having been disturbed. I procured a light in the +kitchen, and hied softly and with dubious footsteps to my chamber. There +I disrobed, and resumed my check shirt, and trowsers, and fustian coat. +This change being accomplished, nothing remained but that I should +strike into the country with the utmost expedition.</p> + +<p>In a momentary review which I took of the past, the design for which +Welbeck professed to have originally detained me in his service occurred +to my mind. I knew the danger of reasoning loosely on the subject of +property. To any trinket or piece of furniture in this house I did not +allow myself to question the right of Mrs. Wentworth; a right accruing +to her in consequence of Welbeck's failure in the payment of his rent; +but there was one thing which I felt an irresistible desire, and no +scruples which should forbid me, to possess, and that was, the +manuscript to which Welbeck had alluded, as having been written by the +deceased Lodi.</p> + +<p>I was well instructed in Latin, and knew the Tuscan language to be +nearly akin to it. I despaired not of being at some time able to +cultivate this language, and believed that the possession of this +manuscript might essentially contribute to this end, as well as to many +others equally beneficial. It was easy to conjecture that the volume was +to be found among his printed books, and it was scarcely less easy to +ascertain the truth of this conjecture. I entered, not without tremulous +sensations, into the apartment which had been the scene of the +disastrous interview between Watson and Welbeck. At every step I almost +dreaded to behold the spectre of the former rise before me.</p> + +<p>Numerous and splendid volumes were arranged on mahogany shelves, and +screened by doors of glass. I ran swiftly over their names, and was at +length so fortunate as to light upon the book of which I was in search. +I immediately secured it, and, leaving the candle extinguished on a +table in the parlour, I once more issued forth into the street. With +light steps and palpitating heart I turned my face towards the country. +My necessitous condition I believed would justify me in passing without +payment the Schuylkill bridge, and the eastern sky began to brighten +with the dawn of morning not till I had gained the distance of nine +miles from the city.</p> + +<p>Such is the tale which I proposed to relate to you. Such are the +memorable incidents of five days of my life; from which I have gathered +more instruction than from the whole tissue of my previous existence. +Such are the particulars of my knowledge respecting the crimes and +misfortunes of Welbeck; which the insinuations of Wortley, and my desire +to retain your good opinion, have induced me to unfold.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XIII.</h3> + + +<p>Mervyn's pause allowed his auditors to reflect on the particulars of his +narration, and to compare them with the facts with a knowledge of which +their own observation had supplied them. My profession introduced me to +the friendship of Mrs. Wentworth, by whom, after the disappearance of +Welbeck, many circumstances respecting him had been mentioned. She +particularly dwelt upon the deportment and appearance of this youth, at +the single interview which took place between them, and her +representations were perfectly conformable to those which Mervyn had +himself delivered.</p> + +<p>Previously to this interview, Welbeck had insinuated to her that a +recent event had put him in possession of the truth respecting the +destiny of Clavering. A kinsman of his had arrived from Portugal, by +whom this intelligence had been brought. He dexterously eluded her +entreaties to be furnished with minuter information, or to introduce +this kinsman to her acquaintance. As soon as Mervyn was ushered into her +presence, she suspected him to be the person to whom Welbeck had +alluded, and this suspicion his conversation had confirmed. She was at a +loss to comprehend the reasons of the silence which he so pertinaciously +maintained.</p> + +<p>Her uneasiness, however, prompted her to renew her solicitations. On the +day subsequent to the catastrophe related by Mervyn, she sent a +messenger to Welbeck, with a request to see him. Gabriel, the black +servant, informed the messenger that his master had gone into the +country for a week. At the end of the week, a messenger was again +despatched with the same errand. He called and knocked, but no one +answered his signals. He examined the entrance by the kitchen, but +every avenue was closed. It appeared that the house was wholly deserted.</p> + +<p>These appearances naturally gave birth to curiosity and suspicion. The +house was repeatedly examined, but the solitude and silence within +continued the same. The creditors of Welbeck were alarmed by these +appearances, and their claims to the property remaining in the house +were precluded by Mrs. Wentworth, who, as owner of the mansion, was +legally entitled to the furniture, in place of the rent which Welbeck +had suffered to accumulate.</p> + +<p>On examining the dwelling, all that was valuable and portable, +particularly linen and plate, was removed. The remainder was distrained, +but the tumults of pestilence succeeded and hindered it from being sold. +Things were allowed to continue in their former situation, and the house +was carefully secured. We had no leisure to form conjectures on the +causes of this desertion. An explanation was afforded us by the +narrative of this youth. It is probable that the servants, finding their +master's absence continue, had pillaged the house and fled.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile, though our curiosity with regard to Welbeck was appeased, it +was obvious to inquire by what series of inducements and events Mervyn +was reconducted to the city and led to the spot where I first met with +him. We intimated our wishes in this respect, and our young friend +readily consented to take up the thread of his story and bring it down +to the point that was desired. For this purpose, the ensuing evening was +selected. Having, at an early hour, shut ourselves up from all intruders +and visitors, he continued as follows.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>I have mentioned that, by sunrise, I had gained the distance of many +miles from the city. My purpose was to stop at the first farm-house, and +seek employment as a day-labourer. The first person whom I observed was +a man of placid mien and plain garb. Habitual benevolence was apparent +amidst the wrinkles of age. He was traversing his buckwheat-field, and +measuring, as it seemed, the harvest that was now nearly ripe.</p> + +<p>I accosted him with diffidence, and explained my wishes. He listened to +my tale with complacency, inquired into my name and family, and into my +qualifications for the office to which I aspired. My answers were candid +and full.</p> + +<p>"Why," said he, "I believe thou and I can make a bargain. We will, at +least, try each other for a week or two. If it does not suit our mutual +convenience, we can change. The morning is damp and cool, and thy plight +does not appear the most comfortable that can be imagined. Come to the +house and eat some breakfast."</p> + +<p>The behaviour of this good man filled me with gratitude and joy. +Methought I could embrace him as a father, and entrance into his house +appeared like return to a long-lost and much-loved home. My desolate and +lonely condition appeared to be changed for paternal regards and the +tenderness of friendship.</p> + +<p>These emotions were confirmed and heightened by every object that +presented itself under this roof. The family consisted of Mrs. Hadwin, +two simple and affectionate girls, his daughters, and servants. The +manners of this family, quiet, artless, and cordial, the occupations +allotted me, the land by which the dwelling was surrounded, its pure +airs, romantic walks, and exhaustless fertility, constituted a powerful +contrast to the scenes which I had left behind, and were congenial with +every dictate of my understanding and every sentiment that glowed in my +heart.</p> + +<p>My youth, mental cultivation, and circumspect deportment, entitled me to +deference and confidence. Each hour confirmed me in the good opinion of +Mr. Hadwin, and in the affections of his daughters. In the mind of my +employer, the simplicity of the husbandman and the devotion of the +Quaker were blended with humanity and intelligence. The sisters, Susan +and Eliza, were unacquainted with calamity and vice through the medium +of either observation or books. They were strangers to the benefits of +an elaborate education, but they were endowed with curiosity and +discernment, and had not suffered their slender means of instruction to +remain unimproved.</p> + +<p>The sedateness of the elder formed an amusing contrast with the laughing +eye and untamable vivacity of the younger; but they smiled and they +wept in unison. They thought and acted in different but not discordant +keys. On all momentous occasions, they reasoned and felt alike. In +ordinary cases, they separated, as it were, into different tracks; but +this diversity was productive not of jarring, but of harmony.</p> + +<p>A romantic and untutored disposition like mine may be supposed liable to +strong impressions from perpetual converse with persons of their age and +sex. The elder was soon discovered to have already disposed of her +affections. The younger was free, and somewhat that is more easily +conceived than named stole insensibly upon my heart. The images that +haunted me at home and abroad, in her absence and her presence, +gradually coalesced into one shape, and gave birth to an incessant train +of latent palpitations and indefinable hopes. My days were little else +than uninterrupted reveries, and night only called up phantoms more +vivid and equally enchanting.</p> + +<p>The memorable incidents which had lately happened scarcely counterpoised +my new sensations or diverted my contemplations from the present. My +views were gradually led to rest upon futurity, and in that I quickly +found cause of circumspection and dread. My present labours were light, +and were sufficient for my subsistence in a single state; but wedlock +was the parent of new wants and of new cares. Mr. Hadwin's possessions +were adequate to his own frugal maintenance, but, divided between his +children, would be too scanty for either. Besides, this division could +only take place at his death, and that was an event whose speedy +occurrence was neither desirable nor probable.</p> + +<p>Another obstacle was now remembered. Hadwin was the conscientious member +of a sect which forbade the marriage of its votaries with those of a +different communion. I had been trained in an opposite creed, and +imagined it impossible that I should ever become a proselyte to +Quakerism. It only remained for me to feign conversion, or to root out +the opinions of my friend and win her consent to a secret marriage. +Whether hypocrisy was eligible was no subject of deliberation. If the +possession of all that ambition can conceive were added to the +transports of union with Eliza Hadwin, and offered as the price of +dissimulation, it would have been instantly rejected. My external goods +were not abundant nor numerous, but the consciousness of rectitude was +mine; and, in competition with this, the luxury of the heart and of the +senses, the gratifications of boundless ambition and inexhaustible +wealth, were contemptible and frivolous.</p> + +<p>The conquest of Eliza's errors was easy; but to introduce discord and +sorrow into this family was an act of the utmost ingratitude and +profligacy. It was only requisite for my understanding clearly to +discern, to be convinced of the insuperability of this obstacle. It was +manifest, therefore, that the point to which my wishes tended was placed +beyond my reach.</p> + +<p>To foster my passion was to foster a disease destructive either of my +integrity or my existence. It was indispensable to fix my thoughts upon +a different object, and to debar myself even from her intercourse. To +ponder on themes foreign to my darling image, and to seclude myself from +her society, at hours which had usually been spent with her, were +difficult tasks. The latter was the least practicable. I had to contend +with eyes which alternately wondered at and upbraided me for my +unkindness. She was wholly unaware of the nature of her own feelings, +and this ignorance made her less scrupulous in the expression of her +sentiments.</p> + +<p>Hitherto I had needed not employment beyond myself and my companions. +Now my new motives made me eager to discover some means of controlling +and beguiling my thoughts. In this state, the manuscript of Lodi +occurred to me. In my way hither, I had resolved to make the study of +the language of this book, and the translation of its contents into +English, the business and solace of my leisure. Now this resolution was +revived with new force.</p> + +<p>My project was perhaps singular. The ancient language of Italy possessed +a strong affinity with the modern. My knowledge of the former was my +only means of gaining the latter. I had no grammar or vocabulary to +explain how far the meanings and inflections of Tuscan words varied +from the Roman dialect. I was to ponder on each sentence and phrase; to +select among different conjectures the most plausible, and to ascertain +the true by patient and repeated scrutiny.</p> + +<p>This undertaking, fantastic and impracticable as it may seem, proved, +upon experiment, to be within the compass of my powers. The detail of my +progress would be curious and instructive. What impediments, in the +attainment of a darling purpose, human ingenuity and patience are able +to surmount; how much may be done by strenuous and solitary efforts; how +the mind, unassisted, may draw forth the principles of inflection and +arrangement; may profit by remote, analogous, and latent similitudes, +would be forcibly illustrated by my example; but the theme, however +attractive, must, for the present, be omitted.</p> + +<p>My progress was slow; but the perception of hourly improvement afforded +me unspeakable pleasure. Having arrived near the last pages, I was able +to pursue, with little interruption, the thread of an eloquent +narration. The triumph of a leader of outlaws over the popular +enthusiasm of the Milanese and the claims of neighbouring potentates was +about to be depicted. The <i>Condottiero</i> Sforza had taken refuge from his +enemies in a tomb, accidentally discovered amidst the ruins of a Roman +fortress in the Apennines. He had sought this recess for the sake of +concealment, but found in it a treasure by which he would be enabled to +secure the wavering and venal faith of that crew of ruffians that +followed his standard, provided he fell not into the hands of the +enemies who were now in search of him.</p> + +<p>My tumultuous curiosity was suddenly checked by the following leaves +being glued together at the edges. To dissever them without injury to +the written spaces was by no means easy. I proceeded to the task, not +without precipitation. The edges were torn away, and the leaves parted.</p> + +<p>It may be thought that I took up the thread where it had been broken; +but no. The object that my eyes encountered, and which the cemented +leaves had so long concealed, was beyond the power of the most +capricious or lawless fancy to have prefigured; yet it bore a shadowy +resemblance to the images with which my imagination was previously +occupied. I opened, and beheld—<i>a bank-note</i>!</p> + +<p>To the first transports of surprise, the conjecture succeeded, that the +remaining leaves, cemented together in the same manner, might enclose +similar bills. They were hastily separated, and the conjecture was +verified. My sensations at this discovery were of an inexplicable kind. +I gazed at the notes in silence. I moved my finger over them; held them +in different positions; read and reread the name of each sum, and the +signature; added them together, and repeated to myself—"<i>Twenty +thousand dollars!</i> They are mine, and by such means!"</p> + +<p>This sum would have redeemed the fallen fortunes of Welbeck. The dying +Lodi was unable to communicate all the contents of this inestimable +volume. He had divided his treasure, with a view to its greater safety, +between this volume and his pocket-book. Death hasted upon him too +suddenly to allow him to explain his precautions. Welbeck had placed the +book in his collection, purposing some time to peruse it; but, deterred +by anxieties which the perusal would have dissipated, he rushed to +desperation and suicide, from which some evanescent contingency, by +unfolding this treasure to his view, would have effectually rescued him.</p> + +<p>But was this event to be regretted? This sum, like the former, would +probably have been expended in the same pernicious prodigality. His +career would have continued some time longer; but his inveterate habits +would have finally conducted his existence to the same criminal and +ignominious close.</p> + +<p>But the destiny of Welbeck was accomplished. The money was placed, +without guilt or artifice, in my possession. My fortune had been thus +unexpectedly and wondrously propitious. How was I to profit by her +favour? Would not this sum enable me to gather round me all the +instruments of pleasure? Equipage, and palace, and a multitude of +servants; polished mirrors, splendid hangings, banquets, and flatterers, +were equally abhorrent to my taste and my principles. The accumulation +of knowledge, and the diffusion of happiness, in which riches may be +rendered eminently instrumental, were the only precepts of duty, and the +only avenues to genuine felicity.</p> + +<p>"But what," said I, "is my title to this money? By retaining it, shall I +not be as culpable as Welbeck? It came into his possession, as it came +into mine, without a crime; but my knowledge of the true proprietor is +equally certain, and the claims of the unfortunate stranger are as valid +as ever. Indeed, if utility, and not law, be the measure of justice, her +claim, desolate and indigent as she is, unfitted, by her past life, by +the softness and the prejudices of her education, for contending with +calamity, is incontestable.</p> + +<p>"As to me, health and diligence will give me, not only the competence +which I seek, but the power of enjoying it. If my present condition be +unchangeable, I shall not be unhappy. My occupations are salutary and +meritorious; I am a stranger to the cares as well as to the enjoyment of +riches; abundant means of knowledge are possessed by me, as long as I +have eyes to gaze at man and at nature, as they are exhibited in their +original forms or in books. The precepts of my duty cannot be mistaken. +The lady must be sought and the money restored to her."</p> + +<p>Certain obstacles existed to the immediate execution of this scheme. How +should I conduct my search? What apology should I make for withdrawing +thus abruptly, and contrary to the terms of an agreement into which I +had lately entered, from the family and service of my friend and +benefactor Hadwin?</p> + +<p>My thoughts were called away from pursuing these inquiries by a rumour, +which had gradually swelled to formidable dimensions; and which, at +length, reached us in our quiet retreats. The city, we were told, was +involved in confusion and panic, for a pestilential disease had begun +its destructive progress. Magistrates and citizens were flying to the +country. The numbers of the sick multiplied beyond all example; even in +the pest-affected cities of the Levant. The malady was malignant and +unsparing.</p> + +<p>The usual occupations and amusements of life were at an end. Terror had +exterminated all the sentiments of nature. Wives were deserted by +husbands, and children by parents. Some had shut themselves in their +houses, and debarred themselves from all communication with the rest of +mankind. The consternation of others had destroyed their understanding, +and their misguided steps hurried them into the midst of the danger +which they had previously laboured to shun. Men were seized by this +disease in the streets; passengers fled from them; entrance into their +own dwellings was denied to them; they perished in the public ways.</p> + +<p>The chambers of disease were deserted, and the sick left to die of +negligence. None could be found to remove the lifeless bodies. Their +remains, suffered to decay by piecemeal, filled the air with deadly +exhalations, and added tenfold to the devastation.</p> + +<p>Such was the tale, distorted and diversified a thousand ways by the +credulity and exaggeration of the tellers. At first I listened to the +story with indifference or mirth. Methought it was confuted by its own +extravagance. The enormity and variety of such an evil made it unworthy +to be believed. I expected that every new day would detect the absurdity +and fallacy of such representations. Every new day, however, added to +the number of witnesses and the consistency of the tale, till, at +length, it was not possible to withhold my faith.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XIV.</h3> + + +<p>This rumour was of a nature to absorb and suspend the whole soul. A +certain sublimity is connected with enormous dangers that imparts to our +consternation or our pity a tincture of the pleasing. This, at least, +may be experienced by those who are beyond the verge of peril. My own +person was exposed to no hazard. I had leisure to conjure up terrific +images, and to personate the witnesses and sufferers of this calamity. +This employment was not enjoined upon me by necessity, but was ardently +pursued, and must therefore have been recommended by some nameless +charm.</p> + +<p>Others were very differently affected. As often as the tale was +embellished with new incidents or enforced by new testimony, the hearer +grew pale, his breath was stifled by inquietudes, his blood was chilled, +and his stomach was bereaved of its usual energies. A temporary +indisposition was produced in many. Some were haunted by a melancholy +bordering upon madness, and some, in consequence of sleepless panics, +for which no cause could be assigned, and for which no opiates could be +found, were attacked by lingering or mortal diseases.</p> + +<p>Mr. Hadwin was superior to groundless apprehensions. His daughters, +however, partook in all the consternation which surrounded them. The +eldest had, indeed, abundant reason for her terror. The youth to whom +she was betrothed resided in the city. A year previous to this, he had +left the house of Mr. Hadwin, who was his uncle, and had removed to +Philadelphia in pursuit of fortune.</p> + +<p>He made himself clerk to a merchant, and, by some mercantile adventures +in which he had successfully engaged, began to flatter himself with +being able, in no long time, to support a family. Meanwhile, a tender +and constant correspondence was maintained between him and his beloved +Susan. This girl was a soft enthusiast, in whose bosom devotion and love +glowed with an ardour that has seldom been exceeded.</p> + +<p>The first tidings of the <i>yellow fever</i> was heard by her with +unspeakable perturbation. Wallace was interrogated, by letter, +respecting its truth. For a time, he treated it as a vague report. At +length, a confession was extorted from him that there existed a +pestilential disease in the city; but he added that it was hitherto +confined to one quarter, distant from the place of his abode.</p> + +<p>The most pathetic entreaties were urged by her that he would withdraw +into the country. He declared his resolution to comply when the street +in which he lived should become infected and his stay should be attended +with real danger. He stated how much his interests depended upon the +favour of his present employer, who had used the most powerful arguments +to detain him, but declared that, when his situation should become, in +the least degree, perilous, he would slight every consideration of +gratitude and interest, and fly to <i>Malverton</i>. Meanwhile, he promised +to communicate tidings of his safety by every opportunity.</p> + +<p>Belding, Mr. Hadwin's next neighbour, though not uninfected by the +general panic, persisted to visit the city daily with his <i>market-cart</i>. +He set out by sunrise, and usually returned by noon. By him a letter was +punctually received by Susan. As the hour of Belding's return +approached, her impatience and anxiety increased. The daily epistle was +received and read, in a transport of eagerness. For a while her emotion +subsided, but returned with augmented vehemence at noon on the ensuing +day.</p> + +<p>These agitations were too vehement for a feeble constitution like hers. +She renewed her supplications to Wallace to quit the city. He repeated +his assertions of being, hitherto, secure, and his promise of coming +when the danger should be imminent. When Belding returned, and, instead +of being accompanied by Wallace, merely brought a letter from him, the +unhappy Susan would sink into fits of lamentation and weeping, and repel +every effort to console her with an obstinacy that partook of madness. +It was, at length, manifest that Wallace's delays would be fatally +injurious to the health of his mistress.</p> + +<p>Mr. Hadwin had hitherto been passive. He conceived that the entreaties +and remonstrances of his daughter were more likely to influence the +conduct of Wallace than any representations which he could make. Now, +however, he wrote the contumacious Wallace a letter, in which he laid +his commands upon him to return in company with Belding, and declared +that by a longer delay the youth would forfeit his favour.</p> + +<p>The malady had, at this time, made considerable progress. Belding's +interest at length yielded to his fears, and this was the last journey +which he proposed to make. Hence our impatience for the return of +Wallace was augmented; since, if this opportunity were lost, no suitable +conveyance might again be offered him.</p> + +<p>Belding set out, as usual, at the dawn of day. The customary interval +between his departure and return was spent by Susan in a tumult of hopes +and fears. As noon approached, her suspense arose to a pitch of wildness +and agony. She could scarcely be restrained from running along the road, +many miles, towards the city; that she might, by meeting Belding +half-way, the sooner ascertain the fate of her lover. She stationed +herself at a window which overlooked the road along which Belding was to +pass.</p> + +<p>Her sister and her father, though less impatient, marked, with painful +eagerness, the first sound of the approaching vehicle. They snatched a +look at it as soon as it appeared in sight. Belding was without a +companion.</p> + +<p>This confirmation of her fears overwhelmed the unhappy Susan. She sunk +into a fit, from which, for a long time, her recovery was hopeless. This +was succeeded by paroxysms of a furious insanity, in which she +attempted to snatch any pointed implement which lay within her reach, +with a view to destroy herself. These being carefully removed, or +forcibly wrested from her, she resigned herself to sobs and +exclamations.</p> + +<p>Having interrogated Belding, he informed us that he occupied his usual +post in the market-place; that heretofore Wallace had duly sought him +out, and exchanged letters; but that, on this morning, the young man had +not made his appearance, though Belding had been induced, by his wish to +see him, to prolong his stay in the city much beyond the usual period.</p> + +<p>That some other cause than sickness had occasioned this omission was +barely possible. There was scarcely room for the most sanguine temper to +indulge a hope. Wallace was without kindred, and probably without +friends, in the city. The merchant in whose service he had placed +himself was connected with him by no considerations but that of +interest. What then must be his situation when seized with a malady +which all believed to be contagious, and the fear of which was able to +dissolve the strongest ties that bind human beings together?</p> + +<p>I was personally a stranger to this youth. I had seen his letters, and +they bespoke, not indeed any great refinement or elevation of +intelligence, but a frank and generous spirit, to which I could not +refuse my esteem; but his chief claim to my affection consisted in his +consanguinity to Mr. Hadwin, and his place in the affections of Susan. +His welfare was essential to the happiness of those whose happiness had +become essential to mine. I witnessed the outrages of despair in the +daughter, and the symptoms of a deep but less violent grief in the +sister and parent. Was it not possible for me to alleviate their pangs? +Could not the fate of Wallace be ascertained?</p> + +<p>This disease assailed men with different degrees of malignity. In its +worst form perhaps it was incurable; but, in some of its modes, it was +doubtless conquerable by the skill of physicians and the fidelity of +nurses. In its least formidable symptoms, negligence and solitude would +render it fatal.</p> + +<p>Wallace might, perhaps, experience this pest in its most lenient +degree; but the desertion of all mankind, the want not only of medicines +but of food, would irrevocably seal his doom. My imagination was +incessantly pursued by the image of this youth, perishing alone, and in +obscurity; calling on the name of distant friends, or invoking, +ineffectually, the succour of those who were near.</p> + +<p>Hitherto distress had been contemplated at a distance, and through the +medium of a fancy delighting to be startled by the wonderful, or +transported by sublimity. Now the calamity had entered my own doors, +imaginary evils were supplanted by real, and my heart was the seat of +commiseration and horror.</p> + +<p>I found myself unfit for recreation or employment. I shrouded myself in +the gloom of the neighbouring forest, or lost myself in the maze of +rocks and dells. I endeavoured, in vain, to shut out the phantoms of the +dying Wallace, and to forget the spectacle of domestic woes. At length +it occurred to me to ask, May not this evil be obviated, and the +felicity of the Hadwins re-established? Wallace is friendless and +succourless; but cannot I supply to him the place of protector and +nurse? Why not hasten to the city, search out his abode, and ascertain +whether he be living or dead? If he still retain life, may I not, by +consolation and attendance, contribute to the restoration of his health, +and conduct him once more to the bosom of his family?</p> + +<p>With what transports will his arrival be hailed! How amply will their +impatience and their sorrow be compensated by his return! In the +spectacle of their joys, how rapturous and pure will be my delight! Do +the benefits which I have received from the Hadwins demand a less +retribution than this?</p> + +<p>It is true that my own life will be endangered; but my danger will be +proportioned to the duration of my stay in this seat of infection. The +death or the flight of Wallace may absolve me from the necessity of +spending one night in the city. The rustics who daily frequent the +market are, as experience proves, exempt from this disease; in +consequence, perhaps, of limiting their continuance in the city to a few +hours. May I not, in this respect, conform to their example, and enjoy +a similar exemption?</p> + +<p>My stay, however, may be longer than the day. I may be condemned to +share in the common destiny. What then? Life is dependent on a thousand +contingencies, not to be computed or foreseen. The seeds of an early and +lingering death are sown in my constitution. It is in vain to hope to +escape the malady by which my mother and my brothers have died. We are a +race whose existence some inherent property has limited to the short +space of twenty years. We are exposed, in common with the rest of +mankind, to innumerable casualties; but, if these be shunned, we are +unalterably fated to perish by <i>consumption</i>. Why then should I scruple +to lay down my life in the cause of virtue and humanity? It is better to +die in the consciousness of having offered an heroic sacrifice, to die +by a speedy stroke, than by the perverseness of nature, in ignominious +inactivity and lingering agonies.</p> + +<p>These considerations determined me to hasten to the city. To mention my +purpose to the Hadwins would be useless or pernicious. It would only +augment the sum of their present anxieties. I should meet with a +thousand obstacles in the tenderness and terror of Eliza, and in the +prudent affection of her father. Their arguments I should be condemned +to hear, but should not be able to confute; and should only load myself +with imputations of perverseness and temerity.</p> + +<p>But how else should I explain my absence? I had hitherto preserved my +lips untainted by prevarication or falsehood. Perhaps there was no +occasion which would justify an untruth; but here, at least, it was +superfluous or hurtful. My disappearance, if effected without notice or +warning, will give birth to speculation and conjecture; but my true +motives will never be suspected, and therefore will excite no fears. My +conduct will not be charged with guilt. It will merely be thought upon +with some regret, which will be alleviated by the opinion of my safety, +and the daily expectation of my return.</p> + +<p>But, since my purpose was to search out Wallace, I must be previously +furnished with directions to the place of his abode, and a description +of his person. Satisfaction on this head was easily obtained from Mr. +Hadwin; who was prevented from suspecting the motives of my curiosity, +by my questions being put in a manner apparently casual. He mentioned +the street, and the number of the house.</p> + +<p>I listened with surprise. It was a house with which I was already +familiar. He resided, it seems, with a merchant. Was it possible for me +to be mistaken?</p> + +<p>What, I asked, was the merchant's name?</p> + +<p><i>Thetford.</i></p> + +<p>This was a confirmation of my first conjecture. I recollected the +extraordinary means by which I had gained access to the house and +bedchamber of this gentleman. I recalled the person and appearance of +the youth by whose artifices I had been entangled in the snare. These +artifices implied some domestic or confidential connection between +Thetford and my guide. Wallace was a member of the family. Could it be +he by whom I was betrayed?</p> + +<p>Suitable questions easily obtained from Hadwin a description of the +person and carriage of his nephew. Every circumstance evinced the +identity of their persons. Wallace, then, was the engaging and sprightly +youth whom I had encountered at Lesher's; and who, for purposes not +hitherto discoverable, had led me into a situation so romantic and +perilous.</p> + +<p>I was far from suspecting that these purposes were criminal. It was easy +to infer that his conduct proceeded from juvenile wantonness and a love +of sport. My resolution was unaltered by this disclosure; and, having +obtained all the information which I needed, I secretly began my +journey.</p> + +<p>My reflections, on the way, were sufficiently employed in tracing the +consequences of my project; in computing the inconveniences and dangers +to which I was preparing to subject myself; in fortifying my courage +against the influence of rueful sights and abrupt transitions; and in +imagining the measures which it would be proper to pursue in every +emergency.</p> + +<p>Connected as these views were with the family and character of +Thetford, I could not but sometimes advert to those incidents which +formerly happened. The mercantile alliance between him and Welbeck was +remembered; the allusions which were made to the condition of the latter +in the chamber-conversation of which I was an unsuspected auditor; and +the relation which these allusions might possess with subsequent +occurrences. Welbeck's property was forfeited. It had been confided to +the care of Thetford's brother. Had the cause of this forfeiture been +truly or thoroughly explained? Might not contraband articles have been +admitted through the management or under the connivance of the brothers? +and might not the younger Thetford be furnished with the means of +purchasing the captured vessel and her cargo,—which, as usual, would be +sold by auction at a fifth or tenth of its real value?</p> + +<p>Welbeck was not alive to profit by the detection of this artifice, +admitting these conclusions to be just. My knowledge will be useless to +the world; for by what motives can I be influenced to publish the truth? +or by whom will my single testimony be believed, in opposition to that +plausible exterior, and, perhaps, to that general integrity, which +Thetford has maintained? To myself it will not be unprofitable. It is a +lesson on the principles of human nature; on the delusiveness of +appearances; on the perviousness of fraud; and on the power with which +nature has invested human beings over the thoughts and actions of each +other.</p> + +<p>Thetford and his frauds were dismissed from my thoughts, to give place +to considerations relative to Clemenza Lodi, and the money which chance +had thrown into my possession. Time had only confirmed my purpose to +restore these bills to the rightful proprietor, and heightened my +impatience to discover her retreat. I reflected, that the means of doing +this were more likely to suggest themselves at the place to which I was +going than elsewhere. I might, indeed, perish before my views, in this +respect, could be accomplished. Against these evils I had at present no +power to provide. While I lived, I would bear perpetually about me the +volume and its precious contents. If I died, a superior power must +direct the course of this as of all other events.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XV.</h3> + + +<p>These meditations did not enfeeble my resolution, or slacken my pace. In +proportion as I drew near the city, the tokens of its calamitous +condition became more apparent. Every farm-house was filled with +supernumerary tenants, fugitives from home, and haunting the skirts of +the road, eager to detain every passenger with inquiries after news. The +passengers were numerous; for the tide of emigration was by no means +exhausted. Some were on foot, bearing in their countenances the tokens +of their recent terror, and filled with mournful reflections on the +forlornness of their state. Few had secured to themselves an asylum; +some were without the means of paying for victuals or lodging for the +coming night; others, who were not thus destitute, yet knew not whither +to apply for entertainment, every house being already overstocked with +inhabitants, or barring its inhospitable doors at their approach.</p> + +<p>Families of weeping mothers and dismayed children, attended with a few +pieces of indispensable furniture, were carried in vehicles of every +form. The parent or husband had perished; and the price of some movable, +or the pittance handed forth by public charity, had been expended to +purchase the means of retiring from this theatre of disasters, though +uncertain and hopeless of accommodation in the neighbouring districts.</p> + +<p>Between these and the fugitives whom curiosity had led to the road, +dialogues frequently took place, to which I was suffered to listen. From +every mouth the tale of sorrow was repeated with new aggravations. +Pictures of their own distress, or of that of their neighbours, were +exhibited in all the hues which imagination can annex to pestilence and +poverty.</p> + +<p>My preconceptions of the evil now appeared to have fallen short of the +truth. The dangers into which I was rushing seemed more numerous and +imminent than I had previously imagined. I wavered not in my purpose. A +panic crept to my heart, which more vehement exertions were necessary to +subdue or control; but I harboured not a momentary doubt that the course +which I had taken was prescribed by duty. There was no difficulty or +reluctance in proceeding. All for which my efforts were demanded was to +walk in this path without tumult or alarm.</p> + +<p>Various circumstances had hindered me from setting out upon this journey +as early as was proper. My frequent pauses to listen to the narratives +of travellers contributed likewise to procrastination. The sun had +nearly set before I reached the precincts of the city. I pursued the +track which I had formerly taken, and entered High Street after +nightfall. Instead of equipages and a throng of passengers, the voice of +levity and glee, which I had formerly observed, and which the mildness +of the season would, at other times, have produced, I found nothing but +a dreary solitude.</p> + +<p>The market-place, and each side of this magnificent avenue, were +illuminated, as before, by lamps; but between the verge of Schuylkill +and the heart of the city I met not more than a dozen figures; and these +were ghost-like, wrapped in cloaks, from behind which they cast upon me +glances of wonder and suspicion, and, as I approached, changed their +course, to avoid touching me. Their clothes were sprinkled with vinegar, +and their nostrils defended from contagion by some powerful perfume.</p> + +<p>I cast a look upon the houses, which I recollected to have formerly +been, at this hour, brilliant with lights, resounding with lively +voices, and thronged with busy faces. Now they were closed, above and +below; dark, and without tokens of being inhabited. From the upper +windows of some, a gleam sometimes fell upon the pavement I was +traversing, and showed that their tenants had not fled, but were +secluded or disabled.</p> + +<p>These tokens were new, and awakened all my panics. Death seemed to +hover over this scene, and I dreaded that the floating pestilence had +already lighted on my frame. I had scarcely overcome these tremors, when +I approached a house the door of which was opened, and before which +stood a vehicle, which I presently recognised to be a <i>hearse</i>.</p> + +<p>The driver was seated on it. I stood still to mark his visage, and to +observe the course which he proposed to take. Presently a coffin, borne +by two men, issued from the house. The driver was a negro; but his +companions were white. Their features were marked by ferocious +indifference to danger or pity. One of them, as he assisted in thrusting +the coffin into the cavity provided for it, said, "I'll be damned if I +think the poor dog was quite dead. It wasn't the <i>fever</i> that ailed him, +but the sight of the girl and her mother on the floor. I wonder how they +all got into that room. What carried them there?"</p> + +<p>The other surlily muttered, "Their legs, to-be-sure."</p> + +<p>"But what should they hug together in one room for?"</p> + +<p>"To save us trouble, to-be-sure."</p> + +<p>"And I thank them with all my heart; but, damn it, it wasn't right to +put him in his coffin before the breath was fairly gone. I thought the +last look he gave me told me to stay a few minutes."</p> + +<p>"Pshaw! He could not live. The sooner dead the better for him; as well +as for us. Did you mark how he eyed us when we carried away his wife and +daughter? I never cried in my life, since I was knee-high, but curse me +if I ever felt in better tune for the business than just then. Hey!" +continued he, looking up, and observing me standing a few paces distant, +and listening to their discourse; "what's wanted? Anybody dead?"</p> + +<p>I stayed not to answer or parley, but hurried forward. My joints +trembled, and cold drops stood on my forehead. I was ashamed of my own +infirmity; and, by vigorous efforts of my reason, regained some degree +of composure. The evening had now advanced, and it behooved me to +procure accommodation at some of the inns.</p> + +<p>These were easily distinguished by their <i>signs</i>, but many were without +inhabitants. At length I lighted upon one, the hall of which was open +and the windows lifted. After knocking for some time, a young girl +appeared, with many marks of distress. In answer to my question, she +answered that both her parents were sick, and that they could receive no +one. I inquired, in vain, for any other tavern at which strangers might +be accommodated. She knew of none such, and left me, on someone's +calling to her from above, in the midst of my embarrassment. After a +moment's pause, I returned, discomfited and perplexed, to the street.</p> + + +<p>I proceeded, in a considerable degree, at random. At length I reached a +spacious building in Fourth Street, which the signpost showed me to be +an inn. I knocked loudly and often at the door. At length a female +opened the window of the second story, and, in a tone of peevishness, +demanded what I wanted. I told her that I wanted lodging.</p> + +<p>"Go hunt for it somewhere else," said she; "you'll find none here." I +began to expostulate; but she shut the window with quickness, and left +me to my own reflections.</p> + +<p>I began now to feel some regret at the journey I had taken. Never, in +the depth of caverns or forests, was I equally conscious of loneliness. +I was surrounded by the habitations of men; but I was destitute of +associate or friend. I had money, but a horse-shelter, or a morsel of +food, could not be purchased. I came for the purpose of relieving +others, but stood in the utmost need myself. Even in health my condition +was helpless and forlorn; but what would become of me should this fatal +malady be contracted? To hope that an asylum would be afforded to a sick +man, which was denied to one in health, was unreasonable.</p> + +<p>The first impulse which flowed from these reflections was to hasten back +to <i>Malverton</i>; which, with sufficient diligence, I might hope to regain +before the morning light. I could not, methought, return upon my steps +with too much speed. I was prompted to run, as if the pest was rushing +upon me and could be eluded only by the most precipitate flight.</p> + +<p>This impulse was quickly counteracted by new ideas. I thought with +indignation and shame on the imbecility of my proceeding. I called up +the images of Susan Hadwin, and of Wallace. I reviewed the motives which +had led me to the undertaking of this journey. Time had, by no means, +diminished their force. I had, indeed, nearly arrived at the +accomplishment of what I had intended. A few steps would carry me to +Thetford's habitation. This might be the critical moment when succour +was most needed and would be most efficacious.</p> + +<p>I had previously concluded to defer going thither till the ensuing +morning; but why should I allow myself a moment's delay? I might at +least gain an external view of the house, and circumstances might +arise which would absolve me from the obligation of remaining an hour +longer in the city. All for which I came might be performed; the destiny +of Wallace be ascertained; and I be once more safe within the precincts +of <i>Malverton</i> before the return of day.</p> + +<p>I immediately directed my steps towards the habitation of Thetford. +Carriages bearing the dead were frequently discovered. A few passengers +likewise occurred, whose hasty and perturbed steps denoted their +participation in the common distress. The house of which I was in quest +quickly appeared. Light from an upper window indicated that it was still +inhabited.</p> + +<p>I paused a moment to reflect in what manner it became me to proceed. To +ascertain the existence and condition of Wallace was the purpose of my +journey. He had inhabited this house; and whether he remained in it was +now to be known. I felt repugnance to enter, since my safety might, by +entering, be unawares and uselessly endangered. Most of the neighbouring +houses were apparently deserted. In some there were various tokens of +people being within. Might I not inquire, at one of these, respecting +the condition of Thetford's family? Yet why should I disturb them by +inquiries so impertinent at this unseasonable hour? To knock at +Thetford's door, and put my questions to him who should obey the signal, +was the obvious method.</p> + +<p>I knocked dubiously and lightly. No one came. I knocked again, and more +loudly; I likewise drew the bell. I distinctly heard its distant peals. +If any were within, my signal could not fail to be noticed. I paused, +and listened, but neither voice nor footsteps could be heard. The light, +though obscured by window-curtains, which seemed to be drawn close, was +still perceptible.</p> + +<p>I ruminated on the causes that might hinder my summons from being +obeyed. I figured to myself nothing but the helplessness of disease, or +the insensibility of death. These images only urged me to persist in +endeavouring to obtain admission. Without weighing the consequences of +my act, I involuntarily lifted the latch. The door yielded to my hand, +and I put my feet within the passage.</p> + +<p>Once more I paused. The passage was of considerable extent, and at the +end of it I perceived light as from a lamp or candle. This impelled me +to go forward, till I reached the foot of a staircase. A candle stood +upon the lowest step.</p> + +<p>This was a new proof that the house was not deserted. I struck my heel +against the floor with some violence; but this, like my former signals, +was unnoticed. Having proceeded thus far, it would have been absurd to +retire with my purpose uneffected. Taking the candle in my hand, I +opened a door that was near. It led into a spacious parlour, furnished +with profusion and splendour. I walked to and fro, gazing at the objects +which presented themselves; and, involved in perplexity, I knocked with +my heel louder than ever; but no less ineffectually.</p> + +<p>Notwithstanding the lights which I had seen, it was possible that the +house was uninhabited. This I was resolved to ascertain, by proceeding +to the chamber which I had observed, from without, to be illuminated. +This chamber, as far as the comparison of circumstances would permit me +to decide, I believed to be the same in which I had passed the first +night of my late abode in the city. Now was I, a second time, in almost +equal ignorance of my situation, and of the consequences which impended, +exploring my way to the same recess.</p> + +<p>I mounted the stair. As I approached the door of which I was in search, +a vapour, infectious and deadly, assailed my senses. It resembled +nothing of which I had ever before been sensible. Many odours had been +met with, even since my arrival in the city, less supportable than this. +I seemed not so much to smell as to taste the element that now +encompassed me. I felt as if I had inhaled a poisonous and subtle fluid, +whose power instantly bereft my stomach of all vigour. Some fatal +influence appeared to seize upon my vitals, and the work of corrosion +and decomposition to be busily begun.</p> + +<p>For a moment, I doubted whether imagination had not some share in +producing my sensation; but I had not been previously panic-struck; and +even now I attended to my own sensations without mental discomposure. +That I had imbibed this disease was not to be questioned. So far the +chances in my favour were annihilated. The lot of sickness was drawn.</p> + +<p>Whether my case would be lenient or malignant, whether I should recover +or perish, was to be left to the decision of the future. This incident, +instead of appalling me, tended rather to invigorate my courage. The +danger which I feared had come. I might enter with indifference on this +theatre of pestilence. I might execute, without faltering, the duties +that my circumstances might create. My state was no longer hazardous; +and my destiny would be totally uninfluenced by my future conduct.</p> + +<p>The pang with which I was first seized, and the momentary inclination to +vomit, which it produced, presently subsided. My wholesome feelings, +indeed, did not revisit me, but strength to proceed was restored to me. +The effluvia became more sensible as I approached the door of the +chamber. The door was ajar; and the light within was perceived. My +belief that those within were dead was presently confuted by sound, +which I first supposed to be that of steps moving quickly and timorously +across the floor. This ceased, and was succeeded by sounds of different +but inexplicable import.</p> + +<p>Having entered the apartment, I saw a candle on the hearth. A table was +covered with vials and other apparatus of a sick-chamber. A bed stood on +one side, the curtain of which was dropped at the foot, so as to conceal +any one within. I fixed my eyes upon this object. There were sufficient +tokens that some one lay upon the bed. Breath, drawn at long intervals; +mutterings scarcely audible; and a tremulous motion in the bedstead, +were fearful and intelligible indications.</p> + +<p>If my heart faltered, it must not be supposed that my trepidations arose +from any selfish considerations. Wallace only, the object of my search, +was present to my fancy. Pervaded with remembrance of the Hadwins; of +the agonies which they had already endured; of the despair which would +overwhelm the unhappy Susan when the death of her lover should be +ascertained; observant of the lonely condition of this house, whence I +could only infer that the sick had been denied suitable attendance; and +reminded, by the symptoms that appeared, that this being was struggling +with the agonies of death; a sickness of the heart, more insupportable +than that which I had just experienced, stole upon me.</p> + +<p>My fancy readily depicted the progress and completion of this tragedy. +Wallace was the first of the family on whom the pestilence had seized. +Thetford had fled from his habitation. Perhaps as a father and husband, +to shun the danger attending his stay was the injunction of his duty. It +was questionless the conduct which selfish regards would dictate. +Wallace was left to perish alone; or, perhaps, (which, indeed, was a +supposition somewhat justified by appearances,) he had been left to the +tendance of mercenary wretches; by whom, at this desperate moment, he +had been abandoned.</p> + +<p>I was not mindless of the possibility that these forebodings, specious +as they were, might be false. The dying person might be some other than +Wallace. The whispers of my hope were, indeed, faint; but they, at +least, prompted me to snatch a look at the expiring man. For this +purpose I advanced and thrust my head within the curtain.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XVI.</h3> + + +<p>The features of one whom I had seen so transiently as Wallace may be +imagined to be not easily recognised, especially when those features +were tremulous and deathful. Here, however, the differences were too +conspicuous to mislead me. I beheld one in whom I could recollect none +that bore resemblance. Though ghastly and livid, the traces of +intelligence and beauty were undefaced. The life of Wallace was of more +value to a feeble individual; but surely the being that was stretched +before me, and who was hastening to his last breath, was precious to +thousands.</p> + +<p>Was he not one in whose place I would willingly have died? The offering +was too late. His extremities were already cold. A vapour, noisome and +contagious, hovered over him. The flutterings of his pulse had ceased. +His existence was about to close amidst convulsion and pangs.</p> + +<p>I withdrew my gaze from this object, and walked to a table. I was nearly +unconscious of my movements. My thoughts were occupied with +contemplations of the train of horrors and disasters that pursue the +race of man. My musings were quickly interrupted by the sight of a small +cabinet, the hinges of which were broken and the lid half raised. In the +present state of my thoughts, I was prone to suspect the worst. Here +were traces of pillage. Some casual or mercenary attendant had not only +contributed to hasten the death of the patient, but had rifled his +property and fled.</p> + +<p>This suspicion would, perhaps, have yielded to mature reflections, if I +had been suffered to reflect. A moment scarcely elapsed, when some +appearance in the mirror, which hung over the table, called my +attention. It was a human figure. Nothing could be briefer than the +glance that I fixed upon this apparition; yet there was room enough for +the vague conception to suggest itself, that the dying man had started +from his bed and was approaching me. This belief was, at the same +instant, confuted, by the survey of his form and garb. One eye, a scar +upon his cheek, a tawny skin, a form grotesquely misproportioned, brawny +as Hercules, and habited in livery, composed, as it were, the parts of +one view.</p> + +<p>To perceive, to fear, and to confront this apparition were blended into +one sentiment. I turned towards him with the swiftness of lightning; but +my speed was useless to my safety. A blow upon my temple was succeeded +by an utter oblivion of thought and of feeling. I sunk upon the floor +prostrate and senseless.</p> + +<p>My insensibility might be mistaken by observers for death, yet some part +of this interval was haunted by a fearful dream. I conceived myself +lying on the brink of a pit, whose bottom the eye could not reach. My +hands and legs were fettered, so as to disable me from resisting two +grim and gigantic figures who stooped to lift me from the earth. Their +purpose, methought, was to cast me into this abyss. My terrors were +unspeakable, and I struggled with such force, that my bonds snapped and +I found myself at liberty. At this moment my senses returned, and I +opened my eyes.</p> + +<p>The memory of recent events was, for a time, effaced by my visionary +horrors. I was conscious of transition from one state of being to +another; but my imagination was still filled with images of danger. The +bottomless gulf and my gigantic persecutors were still dreaded. I looked +up with eagerness. Beside me I discovered three figures, whose character +or office was explained by a coffin of pine boards which lay upon the +floor. One stood with hammer and nails in his hand, as ready to replace +and fasten the lid of the coffin as soon as its burden should be +received.</p> + +<p>I attempted to rise from the floor, but my head was dizzy and my sight +confused. Perceiving me revive, one of the men assisted me to regain my +feet. The mist and confusion presently vanished, so as to allow me to +stand unsupported and to move. I once more gazed at my attendants, and +recognised the three men whom I had met in High Street, and whose +conversation I have mentioned that I overheard. I looked again upon the +coffin. A wavering recollection of the incidents that led me hither, and +of the stunning blow which I had received, occurred to me. I saw into +what error appearances had misled these men, and shuddered to reflect by +what hairbreadth means I had escaped being buried alive.</p> + +<p>Before the men had time to interrogate me, or to comment upon my +situation, one entered the apartment, whose habit and mien tended to +encourage me. The stranger was characterized by an aspect full of +composure and benignity, a face in which the serious lines of age were +blended with the ruddiness and smoothness of youth, and a garb that +bespoke that religious profession with whose benevolent doctrines the +example of Hadwin had rendered me familiar.</p> + +<p>On observing me on my feet, he betrayed marks of surprise and +satisfaction. He addressed me in a tone of mildness:—</p> + +<p>"Young man," said he, "what is thy condition? Art thou sick? If thou +art, thou must consent to receive the best treatment which the times +will afford. These men will convey thee to the hospital at Bush Hill."</p> + +<p>The mention of that contagious and abhorred receptacle inspired me with +some degree of energy. "No," said I, "I am not sick; a violent blow +reduced me to this situation. I shall presently recover strength enough +to leave this spot without assistance."</p> + +<p>He looked at me with an incredulous but compassionate air:—"I fear thou +dost deceive thyself or me. The necessity of going to the hospital is +much to be regretted, but, on the whole, it is best. Perhaps, indeed, +thou hast kindred or friends who will take care of thee?"</p> + +<p>"No," said I; "neither kindred nor friends. I am a stranger in the city. +I do not even know a single being."</p> + +<p>"Alas!" returned the stranger, with a sigh, "thy state is sorrowful. +But how camest thou hither?" continued he, looking around him; "and +whence comest thou?"</p> + +<p>"I came from the country. I reached the city a few hours ago. I was in +search of a friend who lived in this house."</p> + +<p>"Thy undertaking was strangely hazardous and rash; but who is the friend +thou seekest? Was it he who died in that bed, and whose corpse has just +been removed?"</p> + +<p>The men now betrayed some impatience; and inquired of the last comer, +whom they called Mr. Estwick, what they were to do. He turned to me, and +asked if I were willing to be conducted to the hospital.</p> + +<p>I assured him that I was free from disease, and stood in no need of +assistance; adding, that my feebleness was owing to a stunning blow +received from a ruffian on my temple. The marks of this blow were +conspicuous, and after some hesitation he dismissed the men; who, +lifting the empty coffin on their shoulders, disappeared.</p> + +<p>He now invited me to descend into the parlour; "for," said he, "the air +of this room is deadly. I feel already as if I should have reason to +repent of having entered it."</p> + +<p>He now inquired into the cause of those appearances which he had +witnessed. I explained my situation as clearly and succinctly as I was +able.</p> + +<p>After pondering, in silence, on my story,—"I see how it is," said he; +"the person whom thou sawest in the agonies of death was a stranger. He +was attended by his servant and a hired nurse. His master's death being +certain, the nurse was despatched by the servant to procure a coffin. He +probably chose that opportunity to rifle his master's trunk, that stood +upon the table. Thy unseasonable entrance interrupted him; and he +designed, by the blow which he gave thee, to secure his retreat before +the arrival of a hearse. I know the man, and the apparition thou hast so +well described was his. Thou sayest that a friend of thine lived in this +house: thou hast come too late to be of service. The whole family have +perished. Not one was suffered to escape."</p> + +<p>This intelligence was fatal to my hopes. It required some efforts to +subdue my rising emotions. Compassion not only for Wallace, but for +Thetford, his father, his wife and his child, caused a passionate +effusion of tears. I was ashamed of this useless and childlike +sensibility; and attempted to apologize to my companion. The sympathy, +however, had proved contagious, and the stranger turned away his face to +hide his own tears.</p> + +<p>"Nay," said he, in answer to my excuses, "there is no need to be ashamed +of thy emotion. Merely to have known this family, and to have witnessed +their deplorable fate, is sufficient to melt the most obdurate heart. I +suspect that thou wast united to some one of this family by ties of +tenderness like those which led the unfortunate <i>Maravegli</i> hither."</p> + +<p>This suggestion was attended, in relation to myself, with some degree of +obscurity; but my curiosity was somewhat excited by the name that he had +mentioned, I inquired into the character and situation of this person, +and particularly respecting his connection with this family.</p> + +<p>"Maravegli," answered he, "was the lover of the eldest daughter, and +already betrothed to her. The whole family, consisting of helpless +females, had placed themselves under his peculiar guardianship. Mary +Walpole and her children enjoyed in him a husband and a father."</p> + +<p>The name of Walpole, to which I was a stranger, suggested doubts which I +hastened to communicate. "I am in search," said I, "not of a female +friend, though not devoid of interest in the welfare of Thetford and his +family. My principal concern is for a youth, by name Wallace."</p> + +<p>He looked at me with surprise. "Thetford! this is not his abode. He +changed his habitation some weeks previous to the <i>fever</i>. Those who +last dwelt under this roof were an Englishwoman and seven daughters."</p> + +<p>This detection of my error somewhat consoled me. It was still possible +that Wallace was alive and in safety. I eagerly inquired whither +Thetford had removed, and whether he had any knowledge of his present +condition.</p> + +<p>They had removed to No.—, in Market Street. Concerning their state he +knew nothing. His acquaintance with Thetford was imperfect. Whether he +had left the city or had remained, he was wholly uninformed.</p> + +<p>It became me to ascertain the truth in these respects. I was preparing +to offer my parting thanks to the person by whom I had been so highly +benefited; since, as he now informed me, it was by his interposition +that I was hindered from being enclosed alive in a coffin. He was +dubious of my true condition, and peremptorily commanded the followers +of the hearse to desist. A delay of twenty minutes, and some medical +application, would, he believed, determine whether my life was +extinguished or suspended. At the end of this time, happily, my senses +were recovered.</p> + +<p>Seeing my intention to depart, he inquired why, and whither I was going. +Having heard my answer,—"Thy design," resumed he, "is highly indiscreet +and rash. Nothing will sooner generate this fever than fatigue and +anxiety. Thou hast scarcely recovered from the blow so lately received. +Instead of being useful to others, this precipitation will only disable +thyself. Instead of roaming the streets and inhaling this unwholesome +air, thou hadst better betake thyself to bed and try to obtain some +sleep. In the morning, thou wilt be better qualified to ascertain the +fate of thy friend, and afford him the relief which he shall want."</p> + +<p>I could not but admit the reasonableness of these remonstrances; but +where should a chamber and bed be sought? It was not likely that a new +attempt to procure accommodation at the inns would succeed better than +the former.</p> + +<p>"Thy state," replied he, "is sorrowful. I have no house to which I can +lead thee. I divide my chamber, and even my bed, with another, and my +landlady could not be prevailed upon to admit a stranger. What thou wilt +do, I know not. This house has no one to defend it. It was purchased and +furnished by the last possessor; but the whole family, including +mistress, children, and servants, were cut off in a single week. +Perhaps no one in America can claim the property. Meanwhile, plunderers +are numerous and active. A house thus totally deserted, and replenished +with valuable furniture, will, I fear, become their prey. To-night +nothing can be done towards rendering it secure, but staying in it. Art +thou willing to remain here till the morrow?</p> + +<p>"Every bed in the house has probably sustained a dead person. It would +not be proper, therefore, to lie in any one of them. Perhaps thou mayest +find some repose upon this carpet. It is, at least, better than the +harder pavement and the open air."</p> + +<p>This proposal, after some hesitation, I embraced. He was preparing to +leave me, promising, if life were spared to him, to return early in the +morning. My curiosity respecting the person whose dying agonies I had +witnessed prompted me to detain him a few minutes.</p> + +<p>"Ah!" said he, "this, perhaps, is the only one of many victims to this +pestilence whose loss the remotest generations may have reason to +deplore. He was the only descendant of an illustrious house of Venice. +He has been devoted from his childhood to the acquisition of knowledge +and the practice of virtue. He came hither as an enlightened observer; +and, after traversing the country, conversing with all the men in it +eminent for their talents or their office, and collecting a fund of +observations whose solidity and justice have seldom been paralleled, he +embarked, three months ago, for Europe.</p> + +<p>"Previously to his departure, he formed a tender connection with the +eldest daughter of this family. The mother and her children had recently +arrived from England. So many faultless women, both mentally and +personally considered, it was not my fortune to meet with before. This +youth well deserved to be adopted into this family. He proposed to +return with the utmost expedition to his native country, and, after the +settlement of his affairs, to hasten back to America and ratify his +contract with Fanny Walpole.</p> + +<p>"The ship in which he embarked had scarcely gone twenty leagues to sea, +before she was disabled by a storm, and obliged to return to port. He +posted to New York, to gain a passage in a packet shortly to sail. +Meanwhile this malady prevailed among us. Mary Walpole pole was hindered +by her ignorance of the nature of that evil which assailed us, and the +counsel of injudicious friends, from taking the due precautions for her +safety. She hesitated to fly till flight was rendered impracticable. Her +death added to the helplessness and distraction of the family. They were +successively seized and destroyed by the same pest.</p> + +<p>"Maravegli was apprized of their danger. He allowed the packet to depart +without him, and hastened to rescue the Walpoles from the perils which +encompassed them. He arrived in this city time enough to witness the +interment of the last survivor. In the same hour he was seized himself +by this disease: the catastrophe is known to thee.</p> + +<p>"I will now leave thee to thy repose. Sleep is no less needful to myself +than to thee; for this is the second night which has passed without it." +Saying this, my companion took his leave.</p> + +<p>I now enjoyed leisure to review my situation. I experienced no +inclination to sleep. I lay down for a moment, but my comfortless +sensations and restless contemplations would not permit me to rest. +Before I entered this house, I was tormented with hunger; but my craving +had given place to inquietude and loathing. I paced, in thoughtful and +anxious mood, across the floor of the apartment.</p> + +<p>I mused upon the incidents related by Estwick, upon the exterminating +nature of this pestilence, and on the horrors of which it was +productive. I compared the experience of the last hours with those +pictures which my imagination had drawn in the retirements of +<i>Malverton</i>. I wondered at the contrariety that exists between the +scenes of the city and the country; and fostered, with more zeal than +ever, the resolution to avoid those seats of depravity and danger.</p> + +<p>Concerning my own destiny, however, I entertained no doubt. My new +sensations assured me that my stomach had received this corrosive +poison. Whether I should die or live was easily decided. The sickness +which assiduous attendance and powerful prescriptions might remove +would, by negligence and solitude, be rendered fatal; but from whom +could I expect medical or friendly treatment?</p> + +<p>I had indeed a roof over my head. I should not perish in the public way; +but what was my ground for hoping to continue under this roof? My +sickness being suspected, I should be dragged in a cart to the hospital; +where I should, indeed, die, but not with the consolation of loneliness +and silence. Dying groans were the only music, and livid corpses were +the only spectacle, to which I should there be introduced.</p> + +<p>Immured in these dreary meditations, the night passed away. The light +glancing through the window awakened in my bosom a gleam of +cheerfulness. Contrary to my expectations, my feelings were not more +distempered, notwithstanding my want of sleep, than on the last evening. +This was a token that my state was far from being so desperate as I +suspected. It was possible, I thought, that this was the worst +indisposition to which I was liable.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile, the coming of Estwick was impatiently expected. The sun +arose, and the morning advanced, but he came not. I remembered that he +talked of having reason to repent his visit to this house. Perhaps he, +likewise, was sick, and this was the cause of his delay. This man's +kindness had even my love. If I had known the way to his dwelling, I +should have hastened thither, to inquire into his condition, and to +perform for him every office that humanity might enjoin; but he had not +afforded me any information on that head.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XVII.</h3> + + +<p>It was now incumbent on me to seek the habitation of Thetford. To leave +this house accessible to every passenger appeared to be imprudent. I had +no key by which I might lock the principal door. I therefore bolted it +on the inside, and passed through a window, the shutters of which I +closed, though I could not fasten after me. This led me into a spacious +court, at the end of which was a brick wall, over which I leaped into +the street. This was the means by which I had formerly escaped from the +same precincts.</p> + +<p>The streets, as I passed, were desolate and silent. The largest +computation made the number of fugitives two-thirds of the whole people; +yet, judging by the universal desolation, it seemed as if the solitude +were nearly absolute. That so many of the houses were closed, I was +obliged to ascribe to the cessation of traffic, which made the opening +of their windows useless, and the terror of infection, which made the +inhabitants seclude themselves from the observation of each other.</p> + +<p>I proceeded to search out the house to which Estwick had directed me as +the abode of Thetford. What was my consternation when I found it to be +the same at the door of which the conversation took place of which I had +been an auditor on the last evening!</p> + +<p>I recalled the scene of which a rude sketch had been given by the +<i>hearse-men</i>. If such were the fate of the master of the family, +abounding with money and friends, what could be hoped for the moneyless +and friendless Wallace? The house appeared to be vacant and silent; but +these tokens might deceive. There was little room for hope; but +certainty was wanting, and might, perhaps, be obtained by entering the +house. In some of the upper rooms a wretched being might be immured; by +whom the information, so earnestly desired, might be imparted, and to +whom my presence might bring relief, not only from pestilence, but +famine. For a moment, I forgot my own necessitous condition, and +reflected not that abstinence had already undermined my strength.</p> + +<p>I proceeded to knock at the door. That my signal was unnoticed produced +no surprise. The door was unlocked, and I opened. At this moment my +attention was attracted by the opening of another door near me. I +looked, and perceived a man issuing forth from a house at a small +distance.</p> + +<p>It now occurred to me, that the information which I sought might +possibly be gained from one of Thetford's neighbours. This person was +aged, but seemed to have lost neither cheerfulness nor vigour. He had an +air of intrepidity and calmness. It soon appeared that I was the object +of his curiosity. He had, probably, marked my deportment through some +window of his dwelling, and had come forth to make inquiries into the +motives of my conduct.</p> + +<p>He courteously saluted me. "You seem," said he, "to be in search of some +one. If I can afford you the information you want, you will be welcome +to it."</p> + +<p>Encouraged by this address, I mentioned the name of Thetford; and added +my fears that he had not escaped the general calamity.</p> + +<p>"It is true," said he. "Yesterday himself, his wife, and his child, were +in a hopeless condition. I saw them in the evening, and expected not to +find them alive this morning. As soon as it was light, however, I +visited the house again; but found it empty. I suppose they must have +died, and been removed in the night."</p> + +<p>Though anxious to ascertain the destiny of Wallace, I was unwilling to +put direct questions. I shuddered, while I longed to know the truth.</p> + +<p>"Why," said I, falteringly, "did he not seasonably withdraw from the +city? Surely he had the means of purchasing an asylum in the country."</p> + +<p>"I can scarcely tell you," he answered. "Some infatuation appeared to +have seized him. No one was more timorous; but he seemed to think +himself safe as long as he avoided contact with infected persons. He was +likewise, I believe, detained by a regard to his interest. His flight +would not have been more injurious to his affairs than it was to those +of others; but gain was, in his eyes, the supreme good. He intended +ultimately to withdraw; but his escape to-day, gave him new courage to +encounter the perils of to-morrow. He deferred his departure from day to +day, till it ceased to be practicable."</p> + +<p>"His family," said I, "was numerous. It consisted of more than his wife +and children. Perhaps these retired in sufficient season."</p> + +<p>"Yes," said he; "his father left the house at an early period. One or +two of the servants likewise forsook him. One girl, more faithful and +heroic than the rest, resisted the remonstrances of her parents and +friends, and resolved to adhere to him in every fortune. She was anxious +that the family should fly from danger, and would willingly have fled in +their company; but while they stayed, it was her immovable resolution +not to abandon them.</p> + +<p>"Alas, poor girl! She knew not of what stuff the heart of Thetford was +made. Unhappily, she was the first to become sick. I question much +whether her disease was pestilential. It was, probably, a slight +indisposition, which, in a few days, would have vanished of itself, or +have readily yielded to suitable treatment.</p> + +<p>"Thetford was transfixed with terror. Instead of summoning a physician, +to ascertain the nature of her symptoms, he called a negro and his cart +from Bush Hill. In vain the neighbours interceded for this unhappy +victim. In vain she implored his clemency, and asserted the lightness of +her indisposition. She besought him to allow her to send to her mother, +who resided a few miles in the country, who would hasten to her succour, +and relieve him and his family from the danger and trouble of nursing +her.</p> + +<p>"The man was lunatic with apprehension. He rejected her entreaties, +though urged in a manner that would have subdued a heart of flint. The +girl was innocent, and amiable, and courageous, but entertained an +unconquerable dread of the hospital. Finding entreaties ineffectual, she +exerted all her strength in opposition to the man who lifted her into +the cart.</p> + +<p>"Finding that her struggles availed nothing, she resigned herself to +despair. In going to the hospital, she believed herself led to certain +death, and to the sufferance of every evil which the known inhumanity of +its attendants could inflict. This state of mind, added to exposure to a +noonday sun, in an open vehicle, moving, for a mile, over a rugged +pavement, was sufficient to destroy her. I was not surprised to hear +that she died the next day.</p> + +<p>"This proceeding was sufficiently iniquitous; yet it was not the worst +act of this man. The rank and education of the young woman might be some +apology for negligence; but his clerk, a youth who seemed to enjoy his +confidence, and to be treated by his family on the footing of a brother +or son, fell sick on the next night, and was treated in the same +manner."</p> + +<p>These tidings struck me to the heart. A burst of indignation and sorrow +filled my eyes. I could scarcely stifle my emotions sufficiently to ask, +"Of whom, sir, do you speak? Was the name of the youth—his +name—was——"</p> + +<p>"His name was Wallace. I see that you have some interest in his fate. He +was one whom I loved. I would have given half my fortune to procure him +accommodation under some hospitable roof. His attack was violent; but, +still, his recovery, if he had been suitably attended, was possible. +That he should survive removal to the hospital, and the treatment he +must receive when there, was not to be hoped.</p> + +<p>"The conduct of Thetford was as absurd as it was wicked. To imagine the +disease to be contagious was the height of folly; to suppose himself +secure, merely by not permitting a sick man to remain under his roof, +was no less stupid; but Thetford's fears had subverted his +understanding. He did not listen to arguments or supplications. His +attention was incapable of straying from one object. To influence him by +words was equivalent to reasoning with the deaf.</p> + +<p>"Perhaps the wretch was more to be pitied than hated. The victims of his +implacable caution could scarcely have endured agonies greater than +those which his pusillanimity inflicted on himself. Whatever be the +amount of his guilt, the retribution has been adequate. He witnessed the +death of his wife and child, and last night was the close of his own +existence. Their sole attendant was a black woman; whom, by frequent +visits, I endeavoured, with little success, to make diligent in the +performance of her duty."</p> + +<p>Such, then, was the catastrophe of Wallace. The end for which I +journeyed hither was accomplished. His destiny was ascertained; and all +that remained was to fulfil the gloomy predictions of the lovely but +unhappy Susan. To tell them all the truth would be needlessly to +exasperate her sorrow. Time, aided by the tenderness and sympathy of +friendship, may banish her despair, and relieve her from all but the +witcheries of melancholy.</p> + +<p>Having disengaged my mind from these reflections, I explained to my +companion, in general terms, my reasons for visiting the city, and my +curiosity respecting. Thetford. He inquired into the particulars of my +journey, and the time of my arrival. When informed that I had come in +the preceding evening, and had passed the subsequent hours without sleep +or food, he expressed astonishment and compassion.</p> + +<p>"Your undertaking," said he, "has certainly been hazardous. There is +poison in every breath which you draw, but this hazard has been greatly +increased by abstaining from food and sleep. My advice is to hasten back +into the country; but you must first take some repose and some victuals. +If you pass Schuylkill before nightfall, it will be sufficient."</p> + +<p>I mentioned the difficulty of procuring accommodation on the road. It +would be most prudent to set out upon my journey so as to reach +<i>Malverton</i> at night. As to food and sleep, they were not to be +purchased in this city.</p> + +<p>"True," answered my companion, with quickness, "they are not to be +bought; but I will furnish you with as much as you desire of both, for +nothing. That is my abode," continued he, pointing to the house which he +had lately left. "I reside with a widow lady and her daughter, who took +my counsel, and fled in due season. I remain to moralize upon the scene, +with only a faithful black, who makes my bed, prepares my coffee, and +bakes my loaf. If I am sick, all that a physician can do, I will do for +myself, and all that a nurse can perform, I expect to be performed by +<i>Austin</i>.</p> + +<p>"Come with me, drink some coffee, rest a while on my mattress, and then +fly, with my benedictions on your head."</p> + +<p>These words were accompanied by features disembarrassed and benevolent. +My temper is alive to social impulses, and I accepted his invitation, +not so much because I wished to eat or to sleep, but because I felt +reluctance to part so soon with a being who possessed so much fortitude +and virtue.</p> + +<p>He was surrounded by neatness and plenty. Austin added dexterity to +submissiveness. My companion, whose name I now found to be Medlicote, +was prone to converse, and commented on the state of the city like one +whose reading had been extensive and experience large. He combated an +opinion which I had casually formed respecting the origin of this +epidemic, and imputed it, not to infected substances imported from the +East or West, but to a morbid constitution of the atmosphere, owing +wholly or in part to filthy streets, airless habitations, and squalid +persons.</p> + +<p>As I talked with this man, the sense of danger was obliterated, I felt +confidence revive in my heart, and energy revisit my stomach. Though far +from my wonted health, my sensation grew less comfortless, and I found +myself to stand in no need of repose.</p> + +<p>Breakfast being finished, my friend pleaded his daily engagements as +reasons for leaving me. He counselled me to strive for some repose, but +I was conscious of incapacity to sleep. I was desirous of escaping, as +soon as possible, from this tainted atmosphere, and reflected whether +any thing remained to be done respecting Wallace.</p> + +<p>It now occurred to me that this youth must have left some clothes and +papers, and, perhaps, books. The property of these was now vested in the +Hadwins. I might deem myself, without presumption, their representative +or agent. Might I not take some measures for obtaining possession, or at +least for the security, of these articles?</p> + +<p>The house and its furniture were tenantless and unprotected. It was +liable to be ransacked and pillaged by those desperate ruffians of whom +many were said to be hunting for spoil even at a time like this. If +these should overlook this dwelling, Thetford's unknown successor or +heir might appropriate the whole. Numberless accidents might happen to +occasion the destruction or embezzlement of what belonged to Wallace, +which might be prevented by the conduct which I should now pursue.</p> + +<p>Immersed in these perplexities, I remained bewildered and motionless. I +was at length roused by some one knocking at the door. Austin obeyed the +signal, and instantly returned, leading in—Mr. Hadwin!</p> + +<p>I know not whether this unlooked-for interview excited on my part most +grief or surprise. The motive of his coming was easily divined. His +journey was on two accounts superfluous. He whom he sought was dead. The +duty of ascertaining his condition I had assigned to myself.</p> + +<p>I now perceived and deplored the error of which I had been guilty, in +concealing my intended journey from my patron. Ignorant of the part I +had acted, he had rushed into the jaws of this pest, and endangered a +life unspeakably valuable to his children and friends. I should +doubtless have obtained his grateful consent to the project which I had +conceived; but my wretched policy had led me into this clandestine path. +Secrecy may seldom be a crime. A virtuous intention may produce it; but +surely it is always erroneous and pernicious.</p> + +<p>My friend's astonishment at the sight of me was not inferior to my own. +The causes which led to this unexpected interview were mutually +explained. To soothe the agonies of his child, he consented to approach +the city, and endeavour to procure intelligence of Wallace. When he +left his house, he intended to stop in the environs, and hire some +emissary, whom an ample reward might tempt to enter the city, and +procure the information which was needed.</p> + +<p>No one could be prevailed upon to execute so dangerous a service. Averse +to return without performing his commission, he concluded to examine for +himself. Thetford's removal to this street was known to him; but, being +ignorant of my purpose, he had not mentioned this circumstance to me, +during our last conversation.</p> + +<p>I was sensible of the danger which Hadwin had incurred by entering the +city. Perhaps my knowledge of the inexpressible importance of his life +to the happiness of his daughters made me aggravate his danger. I knew +that the longer he lingered in this tainted air, the hazard was +increased. A moment's delay was unnecessary. Neither Wallace nor myself +were capable of being benefited by his presence.</p> + +<p>I mentioned the death of his nephew as a reason for hastening his +departure. I urged him in the most vehement terms to remount his horse +and to fly; I endeavoured to preclude all inquiries respecting myself or +Wallace; promising to follow him immediately, and answer all his +questions at <i>Malverton</i>. My importunities were enforced by his own +fears, and, after a moment's hesitation, he rode away.</p> + +<p>The emotions produced by this incident were, in the present critical +state of my frame, eminently hurtful. My morbid indications suddenly +returned. I had reason to ascribe my condition to my visit to the +chamber of Maravegli; but this and its consequences to myself, as well +as the journey of Hadwin, were the fruits of my unhappy secrecy.</p> + +<p>I had always been accustomed to perform my journeys on foot. This, on +ordinary occasions, was the preferable method, but now I ought to have +adopted the easiest and swiftest means. If Hadwin had been acquainted +with my purpose he would not only have approved, but would have allowed +me, the use of a horse. These reflections were rendered less pungent by +the recollection that my motives were benevolent, and that I had +endeavoured the benefit of others by means which appeared to me most +suitable.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile, how was I to proceed? What hindered me from pursuing the +footsteps of Hadwin with all the expedition which my uneasiness, of +brain and stomach, would allow? I conceived that to leave any thing +undone, with regard to Wallace, would be absurd. His property might be +put under the care of my new friend. But how was it to be distinguished +from the property of others? It was, probably, contained in trunks, +which were designated by some label or mark. I was unacquainted with his +chamber, but, by passing from one to the other, I might finally discover +it. Some token, directing my footsteps, might occur, though at present +unforeseen.</p> + +<p>Actuated by these considerations, I once more entered Thetford's +habitation. I regretted that I had not procured the counsel or +attendance of my new friend; but some engagements, the nature of which +he did not explain, occasioned him to leave me as soon as breakfast was +finished.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XVIII.</h3> + + +<p>I wandered over this deserted mansion, in a considerable degree, at +random. Effluvia of a pestilential nature assailed me from every corner. +In the front room of the second story, I imagined that I discovered +vestiges of that catastrophe which the past night had produced. The bed +appeared as if some one had recently been dragged from it. The sheets +were tinged with yellow, and with that substance which is said to be +characteristic of this disease, the gangrenous or black vomit. The floor +exhibited similar stains.</p> + +<p>There are many who will regard my conduct as the last refinement of +temerity, or of heroism. Nothing, indeed, more perplexes me than a +review of my own conduct. Not, indeed, that death is an object always to +be dreaded, or that my motive did not justify my actions; but of all +dangers, those allied to pestilence, by being mysterious and unseen, are +the most formidable. To disarm them of their terrors requires the +longest familiarity. Nurses and physicians soonest become intrepid or +indifferent; but the rest of mankind recoil from the scene with +unconquerable loathing.</p> + +<p>I was sustained, not by confidence of safety, and a belief of exemption +from this malady, or by the influence of habit, which inures us to all +that is detestable or perilous, but by a belief that this was as +eligible an avenue to death as any other; and that life is a trivial +sacrifice in the cause of duty.</p> + +<p>I passed from one room to the other. A portmanteau, marked with the +initials of Wallace's name, at length attracted my notice. From this +circumstance I inferred that this apartment had been occupied by him. +The room was neatly arranged, and appeared as if no one had lately used +it. There were trunks and drawers. That which I have mentioned was the +only one that bore marks of Wallace's ownership. This I lifted in my +arms with a view to remove it to Medlicote's house.</p> + +<p>At that moment, methought I heard a footstep slowly and lingeringly +ascending the stair. I was disconcerted at this incident. The footstep +had in it a ghost-like solemnity and tardiness. This phantom vanished in +a moment, and yielded place to more humble conjectures. A human being +approached, whose office and commission were inscrutable. That we were +strangers to each other was easily imagined; but how would my +appearance, in this remote chamber, and loaded with another's property, +be interpreted? Did he enter the house after me, or was he the tenant of +some chamber hitherto unvisited; whom my entrance had awakened from his +trance and called from his couch?</p> + +<p>In the confusion of my mind, I still held my burden uplifted. To have +placed it on the floor, and encountered this visitant, without this +equivocal token about me, was the obvious proceeding. Indeed, time only +could decide whether these footsteps tended to this, or to some other, +apartment.</p> + +<p>My doubts were quickly dispelled. The door opened, and a figure glided +in. The portmanteau dropped from my arms, and my heart's blood was +chilled. If an apparition of the dead were possible, (and that +possibility I could not deny,) this was such an apparition. A hue, +yellowish and livid; bones, uncovered with flesh; eyes, ghastly, hollow, +woe-begone, and fixed in an agony of wonder upon me; and locks, matted +and negligent, constituted the image which I now beheld. My belief of +somewhat preternatural in this appearance was confirmed by recollection +of resemblances between these features and those of one who was dead. In +this shape and visage, shadowy and death-like as they were, the +lineaments of Wallace, of him who had misled my rustic simplicity on my +first visit to this city, and whose death I had conceived to be +incontestably ascertained, were forcibly recognised.</p> + +<p>This recognition, which at first alarmed my superstition, speedily led +to more rational inferences. Wallace had been dragged to the hospital. +Nothing was less to be suspected than that he would return alive from +that hideous receptacle, but this was by no means impossible. The figure +that stood before me had just risen from the bed of sickness, and from +the brink of the grave. The crisis of his malady had passed, and he was +once more entitled to be ranked among the living.</p> + +<p>This event, and the consequences which my imagination connected with it, +filled me with the liveliest joy. I thought not of his ignorance of the +causes of my satisfaction, of the doubts to which the circumstances of +our interview would give birth, respecting the integrity of my purpose. +I forgot the artifices by which I had formerly been betrayed, and the +embarrassments which a meeting with the victim of his artifices would +excite in him; I thought only of the happiness which his recovery would +confer upon his uncle and his cousins.</p> + +<p>I advanced towards him with an air of congratulation, and offered him my +hand. He shrunk back, and exclaimed, in a feeble voice, "Who are you? +What business have you here?"</p> + +<p>"I am the friend of Wallace, if he will allow me to be so. I am a +messenger from your uncle and cousins at <i>Malverton</i>. I came to know the +cause of your silence, and to afford you any assistance in my power."</p> + +<p>He continued to regard me with an air of suspicion and doubt. These I +endeavoured to remove by explaining the motives that led me hither. It +was with difficulty that he seemed to credit my representations. When +thoroughly convinced of the truth of my assertions, he inquired with +great anxiety and tenderness concerning his relations; and expressed his +hope that they were ignorant of what had befallen him.</p> + +<p>I could not encourage his hopes. I regretted my own precipitation in +adopting the belief of his death. This belief had been uttered with +confidence, and without stating my reasons for embracing it, to Mr. +Hadwin. These tidings would be borne to his daughters, and their grief +would be exasperated to a deplorable and perhaps to a fatal degree.</p> + +<p>There was but one method of repairing or eluding this mischief. +Intelligence ought to be conveyed to them of his recovery. But where was +the messenger to be found? No one's attention could be found disengaged +from his own concerns. Those who were able or willing to leave the city +had sufficient motives for departure, in relation to themselves. If +vehicle or horse were procurable for money, ought it not to be secured +for the use of Wallace himself, whose health required the easiest and +speediest conveyance from this theatre of death?</p> + +<p>My companion was powerless in mind as in limbs. He seemed unable to +consult upon the means of escaping from the inconveniences by which he +was surrounded. As soon as sufficient strength was regained, he had left +the hospital. To repair to <i>Malverton</i> was the measure which prudence +obviously dictated; but he was hopeless of effecting it. The city was +close at hand; this was his usual home; and hither his tottering and +almost involuntary steps conducted him.</p> + +<p>He listened to my representations and counsels, and acknowledged their +propriety. He put himself under my protection and guidance, and promised +to conform implicitly to my directions. His strength had sufficed to +bring him thus far, but was now utterly exhausted. The task of searching +for a carriage and horse devolved upon me.</p> + +<p>In effecting this purpose, I was obliged to rely upon my own ingenuity +and diligence. Wallace, though so long a resident in the city, knew not +to whom I could apply, or by whom carriages were let to hire. My own +reflections taught me, that this accommodation was most likely to be +furnished by innkeepers, or that some of those might at least inform me +of the best measures to be taken. I resolved to set out immediately on +this search. Meanwhile, Wallace was persuaded to take refuge in +Medlicote's apartments; and to make, by the assistance of Austin, the +necessary preparation for his journey.</p> + +<p>The morning had now advanced. The rays of a sultry sun had a sickening +and enfeebling influence beyond any which I had ever experienced. The +drought of unusual duration had bereft the air and the earth of every +particle of moisture. The element which I breathed appeared to have +stagnated into noxiousness and putrefaction. I was astonished at +observing the enormous diminution of my strength. My brows were heavy, +my intellects benumbed, my sinews enfeebled, and my sensations +universally unquiet.</p> + +<p>These prognostics were easily interpreted. What I chiefly dreaded was, +that they would disable me from executing the task which I had +undertaken. I summoned up all my resolution, and cherished a disdain of +yielding to this ignoble destiny. I reflected that the source of all +energy, and even of life, is seated in thought; that nothing is arduous +to human efforts; that the external frame will seldom languish, while +actuated by an unconquerable soul.</p> + +<p>I fought against my dreary feelings, which pulled me to the earth. I +quickened my pace, raised my drooping eyelids, and hummed a cheerful and +favourite air. For all that I accomplished during this day, I believe +myself indebted to the strenuousness and ardour of my resolutions.</p> + +<p>I went from one tavern to another. One was deserted; in another the +people were sick, and their attendants refused to hearken to my +inquiries or offers; at a third, their horses were engaged. I was +determined to prosecute my search as long as an inn or a livery-stable +remained unexamined, and my strength would permit.</p> + +<p>To detail the events of this expedition, the arguments and supplications +which I used to overcome the dictates of avarice and fear, the +fluctuation of my hopes and my incessant disappointments, would be +useless. Having exhausted all my expedients ineffectually, I was +compelled to turn my weary steps once more to Medlicote's lodgings.</p> + +<p>My meditations were deeply engaged by the present circumstances of my +situation. Since the means which were first suggested were +impracticable, I endeavoured to investigate others. Wallace's debility +made it impossible for him to perform this journey on foot; but would +not his strength and his resolution suffice to carry him beyond +Schuylkill? A carriage or horse, though not to be obtained in the city, +could, without difficulty, be procured in the country. Every farmer had +beasts for burden and draught. One of these might be hired, at no +immoderate expense, for half a day.</p> + +<p>This project appeared so practicable and so specious, that I deeply +regretted the time and the efforts which had already been so fruitlessly +expended. If my project, however, had been mischievous, to review it +with regret was only to prolong and to multiply its mischiefs. I trusted +that time and strength would not be wanting to the execution of this new +design.</p> + +<p>On entering Medlicote's house, my looks, which, in spite of my languors, +were sprightly and confident, flattered Wallace with the belief that my +exertions had succeeded. When acquainted with their failure, he sunk as +quickly into hopelessness. My new expedient was heard by him with no +marks of satisfaction. It was impossible, he said, to move from this +spot by his own strength. All his powers were exhausted by his walk from +Bush Hill.</p> + +<p>I endeavoured, by arguments and railleries, to revive his courage. The +pure air of the country would exhilarate him into new life. He might +stop at every fifty yards, and rest upon the green sod. If overtaken by +the night, we would procure a lodging, by address and importunity; but, +if every door should be shut against us, we should at least enjoy the +shelter of some barn, and might diet wholesomely upon the new-laid eggs +that we should find there. The worst treatment we could meet with was +better than continuance in the city.</p> + +<p>These remonstrances had some influence, and he at length consented to +put his ability to the test. First, however, it was necessary to +invigorate himself by a few hours' rest. To this, though with infinite +reluctance, I consented.</p> + +<p>This interval allowed him to reflect upon the past, and to inquire into +the fate of Thetford and his family. The intelligence which Medlicote +had enabled me to afford him was heard with more satisfaction than +regret. The ingratitude and cruelty with which he had been treated +seemed to have extinguished every sentiment but hatred and vengeance. I +was willing to profit by this interval to know more of Thetford than I +already possessed. I inquired why Wallace had so perversely neglected +the advice of his uncle and cousin, and persisted to brave so many +dangers when flight was so easy.</p> + +<p>"I cannot justify my conduct," answered he. "It was in the highest +degree thoughtless and perverse. I was confident and unconcerned as long +as our neighbourhood was free from disease, and as long as I forbore any +communication with the sick; yet I should have withdrawn to Malverton, +merely to gratify my friends, if Thetford had not used the most powerful +arguments to detain me. He laboured to extenuate the danger.</p> + +<p>"'Why not stay,' said he, 'as long as I and my family stay? Do you think +that we would linger here, if the danger were imminent? As soon as it +becomes so, we will fly. You know that we have a country-house prepared +for our reception. When we go, you shall accompany us. Your services at +this time are indispensable to my affairs. If you will not desert me, +your salary next year shall be double; and that will enable you to marry +your cousin immediately. Nothing is more improbable than that any of us +should be sick; but, if this should happen to you, I plight my honour +that you shall be carefully and faithfully attended.'</p> + +<p>"These assurances were solemn and generous. To make Susan Hadwin my wife +was the scope of all my wishes and labours. By staying, I should hasten +this desirable event, and incur little hazard. By going, I should +alienate the affections of Thetford; by whom, it is but justice to +acknowledge, that I had hitherto been treated with unexampled generosity +and kindness; and blast all the schemes I had formed for rising into +wealth.</p> + +<p>"My resolution was by no means steadfast. As often as a letter from +<i>Malverton</i> arrived, I felt myself disposed to hasten away; but this +inclination was combated by new arguments and new entreaties of +Thetford.</p> + +<p>"In this state of suspense, the girl by whom Mrs. Thetford's infant was +nursed fell sick. She was an excellent creature, and merited better +treatment than she received. Like me, she resisted the persuasions of +her friends, but her motives for remaining were disinterested and +heroic.</p> + +<p>"No sooner did her indisposition appear, than she was hurried to the +hospital. I saw that no reliance could be placed upon the assurances of +Thetford. Every consideration gave way to his fear of death. After the +girl's departure, though he knew that she was led by his means to +execution, yet he consoled himself by repeating and believing her +assertions, that her disease was not <i>the fever</i>.</p> + +<p>"I was now greatly alarmed for my own safety. I was determined to +encounter his anger and repel his persuasions; and to depart with the +market-man next morning. That night, however, I was seized with a +violent fever. I knew in what manner patients were treated at the +hospital, and removal thither was to the last degree abhorred.</p> + +<p>"The morning arrived, and my situation was discovered. At the first +intimation, Thetford rushed out of the house, and refused to re-enter it +till I was removed. I knew not my fate, till three ruffians made their +appearance at my bedside, and communicated their commission.</p> + +<p>"I called on the name of Thetford and his wife. I entreated a moment's +delay, till I had seen these persons, and endeavoured to procure a +respite from my sentence. They were deaf to my entreaties, and prepared +to execute their office by force. I was delirious with rage and terror. +I heaped the bitterest execrations on my murderer; and by turns, invoked +the compassion of, and poured a torrent of reproaches on, the wretches +whom he had selected for his ministers. My struggles and outcries were +vain.</p> + +<p>"I have no perfect recollection of what passed till my arrival at the +hospital. My passions combined with my disease to make me frantic and +wild. In a state like mine, the slightest motion could not be endured +without agony. What then must I have felt, scorched and dazzled by the +sun, sustained by hard boards, and borne for miles over a rugged +pavement?</p> + +<p>"I cannot make you comprehend the anguish of my feelings. To be +disjointed and torn piecemeal by the rack was a torment inexpressibly +inferior to this. Nothing excites my wonder but that I did not expire +before the cart had moved three paces.</p> + +<p>"I knew not how, or by whom, I was moved from this vehicle. +Insensibility came at length to my relief. After a time I opened my +eyes, and slowly gained some knowledge of my situation. I lay upon a +mattress, whose condition proved that a half-decayed corpse had recently +been dragged from it. The room was large, but it was covered with beds +like my own. Between each, there was scarcely the interval of three +feet. Each sustained a wretch, whose groans and distortions bespoke the +desperateness of his condition.</p> + +<p>"The atmosphere was loaded by mortal stenches. A vapour, suffocating and +malignant, scarcely allowed me to breathe. No suitable receptacle was +provided for the evacuations produced by medicine or disease. My nearest +neighbour was struggling with death, and my bed, casually extended, was +moist with the detestable matter which had flowed from his stomach.</p> + +<p>"You will scarcely believe that, in this scene of horrors, the sound of +laughter should be overheard. While the upper rooms of this building are +filled with the sick and the dying, the lower apartments are the scene +of carousals and mirth. The wretches who are hired, at enormous wages, +to tend the sick and convey away the dead, neglect their duty, and +consume the cordials which are provided for the patients, in debauchery +and riot.</p> + +<p>"A female visage, bloated with malignity and drunkenness, occasionally +looked in. Dying eyes were cast upon her, invoking the boon, perhaps, of +a drop of cold water, or her assistance to change a posture which +compelled him to behold the ghastly writhings or deathful <i>smile</i> of his +neighbour.</p> + +<p>"The visitant had left the banquet for a moment, only to see who was +dead. If she entered the room, blinking eyes and reeling steps showed +her to be totally unqualified for ministering the aid that was needed. +Presently she disappeared, and others ascended the staircase, a coffin +was deposited at the door, the wretch, whose heart still quivered, was +seized by rude hands, and dragged along the floor into the passage.</p> + +<p>"Oh! how poor are the conceptions which are formed, by the fortunate +few, of the sufferings to which millions of their fellow-beings are +condemned. This misery was more frightful, because it was seen to flow +from the depravity of the attendants. My own eyes only would make me +credit the existence of wickedness so enormous. No wonder that to die in +garrets, and cellars, and stables, unvisited and unknown, had, by so +many, been preferred to being brought hither.</p> + +<p>"A physician cast an eye upon my state. He gave some directions to the +person who attended him. I did not comprehend them, they were never +executed by the nurses, and, if the attempt had been made, I should +probably have refused to receive what was offered. Recovery was equally +beyond my expectations and my wishes. The scene which was hourly +displayed before me, the entrance of the sick, most of whom perished in +a few hours, and their departure to the graves prepared for them, +reminded me of the fate to which I, also, was reserved.</p> + +<p>"Three days passed away, in which every hour was expected to be the +last. That, amidst an atmosphere so contagious and deadly, amidst causes +of destruction hourly accumulating, I should yet survive, appears to me +nothing less than miraculous. That of so many conducted to this house +the only one who passed out of it alive should be myself almost +surpasses my belief.</p> + +<p>"Some inexplicable principle rendered harmless those potent enemies of +human life. My fever subsided and vanished. My strength was revived, and +the first use that I made of my limbs was to bear me far from the +contemplation and sufferance of those evils."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XIX.</h3> + + +<p>Having gratified my curiosity in this respect, Wallace proceeded to +remind me of the circumstances of our first interview. He had +entertained doubts whether I was the person whom he had met at Lesher's. +I acknowledged myself to be the same, and inquired, in my turn, into the +motives of his conduct on that occasion.</p> + +<p>"I confess," said he, with some hesitation, "I meant only to sport with +your simplicity and ignorance. You must not imagine, however, that my +stratagem was deep-laid and deliberately executed. My professions at the +tavern were sincere. I meant not to injure but to serve you. It was not +till I reached the head of the staircase that the mischievous +contrivance occurred. I foresaw nothings at the moment, but ludicrous +mistakes and embarrassment. The scheme was executed almost at the very +moment it occurred.</p> + +<p>"After I had returned to the parlour, Thetford charged me with the +delivery of a message in a distant quarter of the city. It was not till +I had performed this commission, and had set out on my return, that I +fully revolved the consequences likely to flow from my project.</p> + +<p>"That Thetford and his wife would detect you in their bedchamber was +unquestionable. Perhaps, weary of my long delay, you would have fairly +undressed and gone to bed. The married couple would have made +preparation to follow you, and, when the curtain was undrawn, would +discover a robust youth, fast asleep, in their place. These images, +which had just before excited my laughter, now produced a very different +emotion. I dreaded some fatal catastrophe from the fiery passions of +Thetford. In the first transports of his fury he might pistol you, or, +at least, might command you to be dragged to prison.</p> + +<p>"I now heartily repented of my jest, and hastened home, that I might +prevent, as far as possible, the evil effects that might flow from it. +The acknowledgment of my own agency in this affair would, at least, +transfer Thetford's indignation to myself, to whom it was equitably due.</p> + +<p>"The married couple had retired to their chamber, and no alarm or +confusion had followed. This was an inexplicable circumstance. I waited +with impatience till the morning should furnish a solution of the +difficulty. The morning arrived. A strange event had, indeed, taken +place in their bedchamber. They found an infant asleep in their bed. +Thetford had been roused twice in the night, once by a noise in the +closet, and afterwards by a noise at the door.</p> + +<p>"Some connection between these sounds and the foundling was naturally +suspected. In the morning the closet was examined, and a coarse pair of +shoes was found on the floor. The chamber door, which Thetford had +locked in the evening, was discovered to be open, as likewise a window +in the kitchen.</p> + +<p>"These appearances were a source of wonder and doubt to others, but were +perfectly intelligible to me. I rejoiced that my stratagem had no more +dangerous consequence, and admired the ingenuity and perseverance with +which you had extricated yourself from so critical a state."</p> + +<p>This narrative was only the verification of my own guesses. Its facts +were quickly supplanted in my thoughts by the disastrous picture he had +drawn of the state of the hospital. I was confounded and shocked by the +magnitude of this evil. The cause of it was obvious. The wretches whom +money could purchase were, of course, licentious and unprincipled. +Superintended and controlled, they might be useful instruments; but that +superintendence could not be bought.</p> + +<p>What qualities were requisite in the governor of such an institution? He +must have zeal, diligence, and perseverance. He must act from lofty and +pure motives. He must be mild and firm, intrepid and compliant. One +perfectly qualified for the office it is desirable, but not possible, +to find. A dispassionate and honest zeal in the cause of duty and +humanity may be of eminent utility. Am I not endowed with this zeal? +Cannot my feeble efforts obviate some portion of this evil?</p> + +<p>No one has hitherto claimed this disgustful and perilous situation. My +powers and discernment are small, but if they be honestly exerted they +cannot fail to be somewhat beneficial.</p> + +<p>The impulse produced by these reflections was to hasten to the City +Hall, and make known my wishes. This impulse was controlled by +recollections of my own indisposition, and of the state of Wallace. To +deliver this youth to his friends was the strongest obligation. When +this was discharged, I might return to the city, and acquit myself of +more comprehensive duties.</p> + +<p>Wallace had now enjoyed a few hours' rest, and was persuaded to begin +the journey. It was now noonday, and the sun darted insupportable rays. +Wallace was more sensible than I of their unwholesome influence. We had +not reached the suburbs, when his strength was wholly exhausted, and, +had I not supported him, he would have sunk upon the pavement.</p> + +<p>My limbs were scarcely less weak, but my resolutions were much more +strenuous than his. I made light of his indisposition, and endeavoured +to persuade him that his vigour would return in proportion to his +distance from the city. The moment we should reach a shade, a short +respite would restore us to health and cheerfulness.</p> + +<p>Nothing could revive his courage or induce him to go on. To return or to +proceed was equally impracticable. But, should he be able to return, +where should he find a retreat? The danger of relapse was imminent; his +own chamber at Thetford's was unoccupied. If he could regain this house, +might I not procure him a physician and perform for him the part of +nurse?</p> + +<p>His present situation was critical and mournful. To remain in the +street, exposed to the malignant fervours of the sun, was not to be +endured. To carry him in my arms exceeded my strength. Should I not +claim the assistance of the first passenger that appeared?</p> + +<p>At that moment a horse and chaise passed us. The vehicle proceeded at a +quick pace. He that rode in it might afford us the succour that we +needed. He might be persuaded to deviate from his course and convey the +helpless Wallace to the house we had just left.</p> + +<p>This thought instantly impelled me forward. Feeble as I was, I even ran +with speed, in order to overtake the vehicle. My purpose was effected +with the utmost difficulty. It fortunately happened that the carriage +contained but one person, who stopped at my request. His countenance and +guise was mild and encouraging.</p> + +<p>"Good friend," I exclaimed, "here is a young man too indisposed to walk. +I want him carried to his lodgings. Will you, for money or for charity, +allow him a place in your chaise, and set him down where I shall +direct?" Observing tokens of hesitation, I continued, "You need have no +fears to perform this office. He is not sick, but merely feeble. I will +not ask twenty minutes, and you may ask what reward you think proper."</p> + +<p>Still he hesitated to comply. His business, he said, had not led him +into the city. He merely passed along the skirts of it, whence he +conceived that no danger would arise. He was desirous of helping the +unfortunate; but he could not think of risking his own life in the cause +of a stranger, when he had a wife and children depending on his +existence and exertions for bread. It gave him pain to refuse, but he +thought his duty to himself and to others required that he should not +hazard his safety by compliance.</p> + +<p>This plea was irresistible. The mildness of his manner showed that he +might have been overpowered by persuasion or tempted by reward. I would +not take advantage of his tractability; but should have declined his +assistance, even if it had been spontaneously offered. I turned away +from him in silence, and prepared to return to the spot where I had left +my friend. The man prepared to resume his way.</p> + +<p>In this perplexity, the thought occurred to me that, since this person +was going into the country, he might, possibly, consent to carry Wallace +along with him. I confided greatly in the salutary influence of rural +airs. I believed that debility constituted the whole of his complaint; +that continuance in the city might occasion his relapse, or, at least, +procrastinate his restoration.</p> + +<p>I once more addressed myself to the traveller, and inquired in what +direction and how far he was going. To my unspeakable satisfaction, his +answer informed me that his home lay beyond Mr. Hadwin's, and that this +road carried him directly past that gentleman's door. He was willing to +receive Wallace into his chaise, and to leave him at his uncle's.</p> + +<p>This joyous and auspicious occurrence surpassed my fondest hopes. I +hurried with the pleasing tidings to Wallace, who eagerly consented to +enter the carriage. I thought not at the moment of myself, or how far +the same means of escaping from my danger might be used. The stranger +could not be anxious on my account; and Wallace's dejection and weakness +may apologize for his not soliciting my company, or expressing his fears +for my safety. He was no sooner seated, than the traveller hurried away. +I gazed after them, motionless and mute, till the carriage, turning a +corner, passed beyond my sight.</p> + +<p>I had now leisure to revert to my own condition, and to ruminate on that +series of abrupt and diversified events that had happened during the few +hours which had been passed in the city: the end of my coming was thus +speedily and satisfactorily accomplished. My hopes and fears had rapidly +fluctuated; but, respecting this young man, had now subsided into calm +and propitious certainty. Before the decline of the sun, he would enter +his paternal roof, and diffuse ineffable joy throughout that peaceful +and chaste asylum.</p> + +<p>This contemplation, though rapturous and soothing, speedily gave way to +reflections on the conduct which my duty required, and the safe +departure of Wallace afforded me liberty, to pursue. To offer myself as +a superintendent of the hospital was still my purpose. The languors of +my frame might terminate in sickness, but this event it was useless to +anticipate. The lofty site and pure airs of Bush Hill might tend to +dissipate my languors and restore me to health. At least while I had +power, I was bound to exert it to the wisest purposes. I resolved to +seek the City Hall immediately, and, for that end, crossed the +intermediate fields which separated Sassafras from Chestnut Street.</p> + +<p>More urgent considerations had diverted my attention from the money +which I bore about me, and from the image of the desolate lady to whom +it belonged. My intentions, with regard to her, were the same as ever; +but now it occurred to me, with new force, that my death might preclude +an interview between us, and that it was prudent to dispose, in some +useful way, of the money which would otherwise be left to the sport of +chance.</p> + +<p>The evils which had befallen this city were obvious and enormous. Hunger +and negligence had exasperated the malignity and facilitated the +progress of the pestilence. Could this money be more usefully employed +than in alleviating these evils? During my life, I had no power over it, +but my death would justify me in prescribing the course which it should +take.</p> + +<p>How was this course to be pointed out? How might I place it, so that I +should effect my intentions without relinquishing the possession during +my life?</p> + +<p>These thoughts were superseded by a tide of new sensations. The weight +that incommoded my brows and my stomach was suddenly increased. My brain +was usurped by some benumbing power, and my limbs refused to support me. +My pulsations were quickened, and the prevalence of fever could no +longer be doubted.</p> + +<p>Till now, I had entertained a faint hope that my indisposition would +vanish of itself. This hope was at an end. The grave was before me, and +my projects of curiosity or benevolence were to sink into oblivion. I +was not bereaved of the powers of reflection. The consequences of lying +in the road, friendless and unprotected, were sure. The first passenger +would notice me, and hasten to summon one of those carriages which are +busy night and day in transporting its victims to the hospital.</p> + +<p>This fate was, beyond all others, abhorrent to my imagination. To hide +me under some roof, where my existence would be unknown and unsuspected, +and where I might perish unmolested and in quiet, was my present wish. +Thetford's or Medlicote's might afford me such an asylum, if it were +possible to reach it.</p> + +<p>I made the most strenuous exertions; but they could not carry me forward +more than a hundred paces. Here I rested on steps, which, on looking up, +I perceived to belong to Welbeck's house.</p> + +<p>This incident was unexpected. It led my reflections into a new train. To +go farther, in the present condition of my frame, was impossible. I was +well acquainted with this dwelling. All its avenues were closed. Whether +it had remained unoccupied since my flight from it, I could not decide. +It was evident that, at present, it was without inhabitants. Possibly it +might have continued in the same condition in which Welbeck had left it. +Beds or sofas might be found, on which a sick man might rest, and be +fearless of intrusion.</p> + +<p>This inference was quickly overturned by the obvious supposition that +every avenue was bolted and locked. This, however, might not be the +condition of the bath-house, in which there was nothing that required to +be guarded with unusual precautions. I was suffocated by inward and +scorched by external heat; and the relief of bathing and drinking +appeared inestimable.</p> + +<p>The value of this prize, in addition to my desire to avoid the +observation of passengers, made me exert all my remnant of strength. +Repeated efforts at length enabled me to mount the wall; and placed me, +as I imagined, in security. I swallowed large draughts of water as soon +as I could reach the well.</p> + +<p>The effect was, for a time, salutary and delicious. My fervours were +abated, and my faculties relieved from the weight which had lately +oppressed them. My present condition was unspeakably more advantageous +than the former. I did not believe that it could be improved, till, +casting my eye vaguely over the building, I happened to observe the +shutters of a lower window partly opened.</p> + +<p>Whether this was occasioned by design or by accident there was no means +of deciding. Perhaps, in the precipitation of the latest possessor, this +window had been overlooked. Perhaps it had been unclosed by violence, +and afforded entrance to a robber. By what means soever it had +happened, it undoubtedly afforded ingress to me. I felt no scruple in +profiting by this circumstance. My purposes were not dishonest. I should +not injure or purloin any thing. It was laudable to seek a refuge from +the well-meant persecutions of those who governed the city. All I sought +was the privilege of dying alone.</p> + +<p>Having gotten in at the window, I could not but remark that the +furniture and its arrangements had undergone no alteration in my +absence. I moved softly from one apartment to another, till at length I +entered that which had formerly been Welbeck's bedchamber.</p> + +<p>The bed was naked of covering. The cabinets and closets exhibited their +fastenings broken. Their contents were gone. Whether these appearances +had been produced by midnight robbers, or by the ministers of law and +the rage of the creditors of Welbeck, was a topic of fruitless +conjecture.</p> + +<p>My design was now effected. This chamber should be the scene of my +disease and my refuge from the charitable cruelty of my neighbours. My +new sensations conjured up the hope that my indisposition might prove a +temporary evil. Instead of pestilential or malignant fever, it might be +a harmless intermittent. Time would ascertain its true nature; +meanwhile, I would turn the carpet into a coverlet, supply my pitcher +with water, and administer without sparing, and without fear, that +remedy which was placed within my reach.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XX.</h3> + + +<p>I laid myself on the bed and wrapped my limbs in the folds of the +carpet. My thoughts were restless and perturbed. I was once more busy in +reflecting on the conduct which I ought to pursue with regard to the +bank-bills. I weighed, with scrupulous attention, every circumstance +that might influence my decision. I could not conceive any more +beneficial application of this property than to the service of the +indigent, at this season of multiplied distress; but I considered that, +if my death were unknown, the house would not be opened or examined till +the pestilence had ceased, and the benefits of this application would +thus be partly or wholly precluded.</p> + +<p>This season of disease, however, would give place to a season of +scarcity. The number and wants of the poor, during the ensuing winter, +would be deplorably aggravated. What multitudes might be rescued from +famine and nakedness by the judicious application of this sum!</p> + +<p>But how should I secure this application? To enclose the bills in a +letter, directed to some eminent citizen or public officer, was the +obvious proceeding. Both of these conditions were fulfilled in the +person of the present chief-magistrate. To him, therefore, the packet +was to be sent.</p> + +<p>Paper and the implements of writing were necessary for this end. Would +they be found, I asked, in the upper room? If that apartment, like the +rest which I had seen, and its furniture, had remained untouched, my +task would be practicable; but, if the means of writing were not to be +immediately procured, my purpose, momentous and dear as it was, must be +relinquished.</p> + +<p>The truth, in this respect, was easily and ought immediately to be +ascertained. I rose from the bed which I had lately taken, and proceeded +to the <i>study</i>. The entries and staircases were illuminated by a pretty +strong twilight. The rooms, in consequence of every ray being excluded +by the closed shutters, were nearly as dark as if it had been midnight. +The rooms into which I had already passed were locked, but its key was +in each lock. I flattered myself that the entrance into the <i>study</i> +would be found in the same condition. The door was shut, but no key was +to be seen. My hopes were considerably damped by this appearance, but I +conceived it to be still possible to enter, since, by chance or by +design, the door might be unlocked.</p> + +<p>My fingers touched the lock, when a sound was heard as if a bolt, +appending to the door on the inside, had been drawn. I was startled by +this incident. It betokened that the room was already occupied by some +other, who desired to exclude a visitor. The unbarred shutter below was +remembered, and associated itself with this circumstance. That this +house should be entered by the same avenue, at the same time, and this +room should be sought, by two persons, was a mysterious concurrence.</p> + +<p>I began to question whether I had heard distinctly. Numberless +inexplicable noises are apt to assail the ear in an empty dwelling. The +very echoes of our steps are unwonted and new. This, perhaps, was some +such sound. Resuming courage, I once more applied to the lock. The door, +in spite of my repeated efforts, would not open.</p> + +<p>My design was too momentous to be readily relinquished. My curiosity and +my fears likewise were awakened. The marks of violence, which I had seen +on the closets and cabinets below, seemed to indicate the presence of +plunderers. Here was one who laboured for seclusion and concealment.</p> + +<p>The pillage was not made upon my property. My weakness would disable me +from encountering or mastering a man of violence. To solicit admission +into this room would be useless. To attempt to force my way would be +absurd. These reflections prompted me to withdraw from the door; but the +uncertainty of the conclusions I had drawn, and the importance of +gaining access to this apartment, combined to check my steps.</p> + +<p>Perplexed as to the means I should employ, I once more tried the lock. +The attempt was fruitless as the former. Though hopeless of any +information to be gained by that means, I put my eye to the keyhole. I +discovered a light different from what was usually met with at this +hour. It was not the twilight which the sun, imperfectly excluded, +produces, but gleams, as from a lamp; yet its gleams were fainter and +obscurer than a lamp generally imparts.</p> + +<p>Was this a confirmation of my first conjecture? Lamplight at noonday, in +a mansion thus deserted, and in a room which had been the scene of +memorable and disastrous events, was ominous. Hitherto no direct proof +had been given of the presence of a human being. How to ascertain his +presence, or whether it were eligible by any means to ascertain it, were +points on which I had not deliberated.</p> + +<p>I had no power to deliberate. My curiosity impelled me to call,—"Is +there any one within? Speak."</p> + +<p>These words were scarcely uttered, when some one exclaimed, in a voice +vehement but half-smothered, "Good God!"—</p> + +<p>A deep pause succeeded. I waited for an answer; for somewhat to which +this emphatic invocation might be a prelude. Whether the tones were +expressive of surprise, or pain, or grief, was, for a moment, dubious. +Perhaps the motives which led me to this house suggested the suspicion +which presently succeeded to my doubts,—that the person within was +disabled by sickness. The circumstances of my own condition took away +the improbability from this belief. Why might not another be induced +like me to hide himself in this desolate retreat? Might not a servant, +left to take care of the house, a measure usually adopted by the opulent +at this time, be seized by the reigning malady? Incapacitated for +exertion, or fearing to be dragged to the hospital, he has shut himself +in this apartment. The robber, it may be, who came to pillage, was +overtaken and detained by disease. In either case, detection or +intrusion would be hateful, and would be assiduously eluded.</p> + +<p>These thoughts had no tendency to weaken or divert my efforts to obtain +access to this room. The person was a brother in calamity, whom it was +my duty to succour and cherish to the utmost of my power. Once more I +spoke:—</p> + +<p>"Who is within? I beseech you answer me. Whatever you be, I desire to do +you good and not injury. Open the door and let me know your condition. I +will try to be of use to you."</p> + +<p>I was answered by a deep groan, and by a sob counteracted and devoured +as it were by a mighty effort. This token of distress thrilled to my +heart. My terrors wholly disappeared, and gave place to unlimited +compassion. I again entreated to be admitted, promising all the succour +or consolation which my situation allowed me to afford.</p> + +<p>Answers were made in tones of anger and impatience, blended with those +of grief:—"I want no succour; vex me not with your entreaties and +offers. Fly from this spot; linger not a moment, lest you participate my +destiny and rush upon your death."</p> + +<p>These I considered merely as the effusions of delirium, or the dictates +of despair. The style and articulation denoted the speaker to be +superior to the class of servants. Hence my anxiety to see and to aid +him was increased. My remonstrances were sternly and pertinaciously +repelled. For a time, incoherent and impassioned exclamations flowed +from him. At length, I was only permitted to hear strong aspirations and +sobs, more eloquent and more indicative of grief than any language.</p> + +<p>This deportment filled me with no less wonder than commiseration. By +what views this person was led hither, by what motives induced to deny +himself to my entreaties, was wholly incomprehensible. Again, though +hopeless of success, I repeated my request to be admitted.</p> + +<p>My perseverance seemed now to have exhausted all his patience, and he +exclaimed, in a voice of thunder, "Arthur Mervyn! Begone. Linger but a +moment, and my rage, tiger-like, will rush upon you and rend you limb +from limb."</p> + +<p>This address petrified me. The voice that uttered this sanguinary menace +was strange to my ears. It suggested no suspicion of ever having heard +it before. Yet my accents had betrayed me to him. He was familiar with +my name. Notwithstanding the improbability of my entrance into this +dwelling, I was clearly recognized and unhesitatingly named!</p> + +<p>My curiosity and compassion were in no wise diminished, but I found +myself compelled to give up my purpose. I withdrew reluctantly from the +door, and once more threw myself upon my bed. Nothing was more +necessary, in the present condition of my frame; than sleep; and sleep +had, perhaps, been possible, if the scene around me had been less +pregnant with causes of wonder and panic.</p> + +<p>Once more I tasked memory in order to discover, in the persons with whom +I had hitherto conversed, some resemblance, in voice or tones, to him +whom I had just heard. This process was effectual. Gradually my +imagination called up an image which, now that it was clearly seen, I +was astonished had not instantly occurred. Three years ago, a man, by +name Colvill, came on foot, and with a knapsack on his back, into the +district where my father resided. He had learning and genius, and +readily obtained the station for which only he deemed himself qualified; +that of a schoolmaster.</p> + +<p>His demeanour was gentle and modest; his habits, as to sleep, food, and +exercise, abstemious and regular. Meditation in the forest, or reading +in his closet, seemed to constitute, together with attention to his +scholars, his sole amusement and employment. He estranged himself from +company, not because society afforded no pleasure, but because studious +seclusion afforded him chief satisfaction.</p> + +<p>No one was more idolized by his unsuspecting neighbours. His scholars +revered him as a father, and made under his tuition a remarkable +proficiency. His character seemed open to boundless inspection, and his +conduct was pronounced by all to be faultless.</p> + +<p>At the end of a year the scene was changed. A daughter of one of his +patrons, young, artless, and beautiful, appeared to have fallen a prey +to the arts of some detestable seducer. The betrayer was gradually +detected, and successive discoveries showed that the same artifices had +been practised, with the same success, upon many others. Colvill was the +arch-villain. He retired from the storm of vengeance that was gathering +over him, and had not been heard of since that period.</p> + +<p>I saw him rarely, and for a short time, and I was a mere boy. Hence the +failure to recollect his voice, and to perceive that the voice of him +immured in the room above was the same with that of Colvill. Though I +had slight reasons for recognising his features or accents, I had +abundant cause to think of him with detestation, and pursue him with +implacable revenge, for the victim of his acts, she whose ruin was first +detected, was—<i>my sister</i>.</p> + +<p>This unhappy girl escaped from the upbraidings of her parents, from the +contumelies of the world, from the goadings of remorse, and the anguish +flowing from the perfidy and desertion of Colvill, in a voluntary death. +She was innocent and lovely. Previous to this evil, my soul was linked +with hers by a thousand resemblances and sympathies, as well as by +perpetual intercourse from infancy, and by the fraternal relation. She +was my sister, my preceptress and friend; but she died—her end was +violent, untimely, and criminal! I cannot think of her without +heart-bursting grief; of her destroyer, without a rancour which I know +to be wrong, but which I cannot subdue.</p> + +<p>When the image of Colvill rushed, upon this occasion, on my thought, I +almost started on my feet. To meet him, after so long a separation, +here, and in these circumstances, was so unlooked-for and abrupt an +event, and revived a tribe of such hateful impulses and agonizing +recollections, that a total revolution seemed to have been effected in +my frame. His recognition of my person, his aversion to be seen, his +ejaculation of terror and surprise on first hearing my voice, all +contributed to strengthen my belief.</p> + +<p>How was I to act? My feeble frame could but ill second my vengeful +purposes; but vengeance, though it sometimes occupied my thoughts, was +hindered by my reason from leading me, in any instance, to outrage or +even to upbraiding.</p> + +<p>All my wishes with regard to this man were limited to expelling his +image from my memory, and to shunning a meeting with him. That he had +not opened the door at my bidding was now a topic of joy. To look upon +some bottomless pit, into which I was about to be cast headlong, and +alive, was less to be abhorred than to look upon the face of Colvill. +Had I known that he had taken refuge in this house, no power should have +compelled me to enter it. To be immersed in the infection of the +hospital, and to be hurried, yet breathing and observant, to my grave, +was a more supportable fate.</p> + +<p>I dwell, with self-condemnation and shame, upon this part of my story. +To feel extraordinary indignation at vice, merely because we have +partaken in an extraordinary degree of its mischiefs, is unjustifiable. +To regard the wicked with no emotion but pity, to be active in +reclaiming them, in controlling their malevolence, and preventing or +repairing the ills which they produce, is the only province of duty. +This lesson, as well as a thousand others, I have yet to learn; but I +despair of living long enough for that or any beneficial purpose.</p> + +<p>My emotions with regard to Colvill were erroneous, but omnipotent. I +started from my bed, and prepared to rush into the street. I was +careless of the lot that should befall me, since no fate could be worse +than that of abiding under the same roof with a wretch spotted with so +many crimes.</p> + +<p>I had not set my feet upon the floor before my precipitation was checked +by a sound from above. The door of the study was cautiously and slowly +opened. This incident admitted only of one construction, supposing all +obstructions removed. Colvill was creeping from his hiding-place, and +would probably fly with speed from the house. My belief of his sickness +was now confuted. An illicit design was congenial with his character +and congruous with those appearances already observed.</p> + +<p>I had no power or wish to obstruct his flight. I thought of it with +transport, and once more threw myself upon the bed, and wrapped my +averted face in the carpet. He would probably pass this door, +unobservant of me, and my muffled face would save me from the agonies +connected with the sight of him.</p> + +<p>The footsteps above were distinguishable, though it was manifest that +they moved with lightsomeness and circumspection. They reached the stair +and descended. The room in which I lay was, like the rest, obscured by +the closed shutters. This obscurity now gave way to a light, resembling +that glimmering and pale reflection which I had noticed in the study. My +eyes, though averted from the door, were disengaged from the folds which +covered the rest of my head, and observed these tokens of Colvill's +approach, flitting on the wall.</p> + +<p>My feverish perturbations increased as he drew nearer. He reached the +door, and stopped. The light rested for a moment. Presently he entered +the apartment. My emotions suddenly rose to a height that would not be +controlled. I imagined that he approached the bed, and was gazing upon +me. At the same moment, by an involuntary impulse, I threw off my +covering, and, turning my face, fixed my eyes upon my visitant.</p> + +<p>It was as I suspected. The figure, lifting in his right hand a candle, +and gazing at the bed, with lineaments and attitude bespeaking fearful +expectation and tormenting doubts, was now beheld. One glance +communicated to my senses all the parts of this terrific vision. A +sinking at my heart, as if it had been penetrated by a dagger, seized +me. This was not enough: I uttered a shriek, too rueful and loud not to +have startled the attention of the passengers, if any had, at that +moment, been passing the street.</p> + +<p>Heaven seemed to have decreed that this period should be filled with +trials of my equanimity and fortitude. The test of my courage was once +more employed to cover me with humiliation and remorse. This second +time, my fancy conjured up a spectre, and I shuddered as if the grave +were forsaken and the unquiet dead haunted my pillow.</p> + +<p>The visage and the shape had indeed preternatural attitudes, but they +belonged, not to Colvill, but to—<span class="smcap">Welbeck</span>.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XXI.</h3> + + +<p>He whom I had accompanied to the midst of the river; whom I had imagined +that I saw sink to rise no more, was now before me. Though incapable of +precluding the groundless belief of preternatural visitations, I was +able to banish the phantom almost at the same instant at which it +appeared. Welbeck had escaped from the stream alive; or had, by some +inconceivable means, been restored to life.</p> + +<p>The first was the most plausible conclusion. It instantly engendered a +suspicion, that his plunging into the water was an artifice, intended to +establish a belief of his death. His own tale had shown him to be versed +in frauds, and flexible to evil. But was he not associated with Colvill? +and what, but a compact in iniquity, could bind together such men?</p> + +<p>While thus musing, Welbeck's countenance and gesture displayed emotions +too vehement for speech. The glances that he fixed upon me were +unsteadfast and wild. He walked along the floor, stopping at each +moment, and darting looks of eagerness upon me. A conflict of passions +kept him mute. At length, advancing to the bed, on the side of which I +was now sitting, he addressed me:—</p> + +<p>"What is this? Are you here? In defiance of pestilence, are you actuated +by some demon to haunt me, like the ghost of my offences, and cover me +with shame? What have I to do with that dauntless yet guiltless front? +With that foolishly-confiding and obsequious, yet erect and +unconquerable, spirit? Is there no means of evading your pursuit? Must I +dip my hands, a second time, in blood; and dig for you a grave by the +side of Watson?"</p> + +<p>These words were listened to with calmness. I suspected and pitied the +man, but I did not fear him. His words and his looks were indicative +less of cruelty than madness. I looked at him with an air compassionate +and wistful. I spoke with mildness and composure:—</p> + +<p>"Mr. Welbeck, you are unfortunate and criminal. Would to God I could +restore you to happiness and virtue! but, though my desire be strong, I +have no power to change your habits or rescue you from misery.</p> + +<p>"I believed you to be dead. I rejoice to find myself mistaken. While you +live, there is room to hope that your errors will be cured; and the +turmoils and inquietudes that have hitherto beset your guilty progress +will vanish by your reverting into better paths.</p> + +<p>"From me you have nothing to fear. If your welfare will be promoted by +my silence on the subject of your history, my silence shall be +inviolate. I deem not lightly of my promises. They are given, and shall +not be recalled.</p> + +<p>"This meeting was casual. Since I believed you to be dead, it could not +be otherwise. You err, if you suppose that any injury will accrue to you +from my life; but you need not discard that error. Since my death is +coming, I am not averse to your adopting the belief that the event is +fortunate to you.</p> + +<p>"Death is the inevitable and universal lot. When or how it comes, is of +little moment. To stand, when so many thousands are falling around me, +is not to be expected. I have acted an humble and obscure part in the +world, and my career has been short; but I murmur not at the decree that +makes it so.</p> + +<p>"The pestilence is now upon me. The chances of recovery are too slender +to deserve my confidence. I came hither to die unmolested, and at peace. +All I ask of you is to consult your own safety by immediate flight; and +not to disappoint my hopes of concealment, by disclosing my condition to +the agents of the hospital."</p> + +<p>Welbeck listened with the deepest attention. The wildness of his air +disappeared, and gave place to perplexity and apprehension.</p> + +<p>"You are sick," said he, in a tremulous tone, in which terror was +mingled with affection. "You know this, and expect not to recover. No +mother, nor sister, nor friend, will be near to administer food, or +medicine, or comfort; yet you can talk calmly; can be thus considerate +of others—of me; whose guilt has been so deep, and who has merited so +little at your hands!</p> + +<p>"Wretched coward! Thus miserable as I am and expect to be, I cling to +life. To comply with your heroic counsel, and to fly; to leave you thus +desolate and helpless, is the strongest impulse. Fain would I resist it, +but cannot.</p> + +<p>"To desert you would be flagitious and dastardly beyond all former acts; +yet to stay with you is to contract the disease, and to perish after +you.</p> + +<p>"Life, burdened as it is with guilt and ignominy, is still dear—yet you +exhort me to go; you dispense with my assistance. Indeed, I could be of +no use; I should injure myself and profit you nothing. I cannot go into +the city and procure a physician or attendant. I must never more appear +in the streets of this city. I must leave you, then." He hurried to the +door. Again, he hesitated. I renewed my entreaties that he would leave +me; and encouraged his belief that his presence might endanger himself +without conferring the slightest benefit upon me.</p> + +<p>"Whither should I fly? The wide world contains no asylum for me. I lived +but on one condition. I came hither to find what would save me from +ruin,—from death. I find it not. It has vanished. Some audacious and +fortunate hand has snatched it from its place, and now my ruin is +complete. My last hope is extinct.</p> + +<p>"Yes, Mervyn! I will stay with you. I will hold your head. I will put +water to your lips. I will watch night and day by your side. When you +die, I will carry you by night to the neighbouring field; will bury you, +and water your grave with those tears that are due to your incomparable +worth and untimely destiny. Then I will lay myself in your bed, and wait +for the same oblivion."</p> + +<p>Welbeck seemed now no longer to be fluctuating between opposite +purposes. His tempestuous features subsided into calm. He put the +candle, still lighted, on the table, and paced the floor with less +disorder than at his first entrance.</p> + +<p>His resolution was seen to be the dictate of despair. I hoped that it +would not prove invincible to my remonstrances. I was conscious that his +attendance might preclude, in some degree, my own exertions, and +alleviate the pangs of death; but these consolations might be purchased +too dear. To receive them at the hazard of his life would be to make +them odious.</p> + +<p>But, if he should remain, what conduct would his companion pursue? Why +did he continue in the study when Welbeck had departed? By what motives +were those men led hither? I addressed myself to Welbeck:—</p> + +<p>"Your resolution to remain is hasty and rash. By persisting in it, you +will add to the miseries of my condition; you will take away the only +hope that I cherished. But, however you may act, Colvill or I must be +banished from this roof. What is the league between you? Break it, I +conjure you, before his frauds have involved you in inextricable +destruction."</p> + +<p>Welbeck looked at me with some expression of doubt.</p> + +<p>"I mean," continued I, "the man whose voice I heard above. He is a +villain and betrayer. I have manifold proofs of his guilt. Why does he +linger behind you? However you may decide, it is fitting that he should +vanish."</p> + +<p>"Alas!" said Welbeck, "I have no companion, none to partake with me in +good or evil. I came hither alone."</p> + +<p>"How?" exclaimed I. "Whom did I hear in the room above? Some one +answered my interrogations and entreaties, whom I too certainly +recognised. Why does he remain?"</p> + +<p>"You heard no one but myself. The design that brought me hither was to +be accomplished without a witness. I desired to escape detection, and +repelled your solicitations for admission in a counterfeited voice.</p> + +<p>"That voice belonged to one from whom I had lately parted. What his +merits or demerits are, I know not. He found me wandering in the forests +of New Jersey. He took me to his home. When seized by a lingering +malady, he nursed me with fidelity and tenderness. When somewhat +recovered, I speeded hither; but our ignorance of each other's character +and views was mutual and profound.</p> + +<p>"I deemed it useful to assume a voice different from my own. This was +the last which I had heard, and this arbitrary and casual circumstance +decided my choice."</p> + +<p>This imitation was too perfect, and had influenced my fears too +strongly, to be easily credited. I suspected Welbeck of some new +artifice to baffle my conclusions and mislead my judgment. This +suspicion, however, yielded to his earnest and repeated declarations. If +Colvill were not here, where had he made his abode? How came friendship +and intercourse between Welbeck and him? By what miracle escaped the +former from the river, into which I had imagined him forever sunk?</p> + +<p>"I will answer you," said he, with candour. "You know already too much +for me to have any interest in concealing any part of my life. You have +discovered my existence, and the causes that rescued me from destruction +may be told without detriment to my person or fame.</p> + +<p>"When I leaped into the river, I intended to perish. I harboured no +previous doubts of my ability to execute my fatal purpose. In this +respect I was deceived. Suffocation would not come at my bidding. My +muscles and limbs rebelled against my will. There was a mechanical +repugnance to the loss of life, which I could not vanquish. My struggles +might thrust me below the surface, but my lips were spontaneously shut, +and excluded the torrent from my lungs. When my breath was exhausted, +the efforts that kept me at the bottom were involuntarily remitted, and +I rose to the surface.</p> + +<p>"I cursed my own pusillanimity. Thrice I plunged to the bottom, and as +often rose again. My aversion to life swiftly diminished, and at length +I consented to make use of my skill in swimming, which has seldom been +exceeded, to prolong my existence. I landed in a few minutes on the +Jersey shore.</p> + +<p>"This scheme being frustrated, I sunk into dreariness and inactivity. I +felt as if no dependence could be placed upon my courage, as if any +effort I should make for self-destruction would be fruitless; yet +existence was as void as ever of enjoyment and embellishment. My means +of living were annihilated. I saw no path before me. To shun the +presence of mankind was my sovereign wish. Since I could not die by my +own hands, I must be content to crawl upon the surface, till a superior +fate should permit me to perish.</p> + +<p>"I wandered into the centre of the wood. I stretched myself on the mossy +verge of a brook, and gazed at the stars till they disappeared. The next +day was spent with little variation. The cravings of hunger were felt, +and the sensation was a joyous one, since it afforded me the practicable +means of death. To refrain from food was easy, since some efforts would +be needful to procure it, and these efforts should not be made. Thus was +the sweet oblivion for which I so earnestly panted placed within my +reach.</p> + +<p>"Three days of abstinence, and reverie, and solitude, succeeded. On the +evening of the fourth, I was seated on a rock, with my face buried in my +hands. Some one laid his hand upon my shoulder. I started and looked up. +I beheld a face beaming with compassion and benignity. He endeavoured to +extort from me the cause of my solitude and sorrow. I disregarded his +entreaties, and was obstinately silent.</p> + +<p>"Finding me invincible in this respect, he invited me to his cottage, +which was hard by. I repelled him at first with impatience and anger, +but he was not to be discouraged or intimidated. To elude his +persuasions I was obliged to comply. My strength was gone, and the vital +fabric was crumbling into pieces. A fever raged in my veins, and I was +consoled by reflecting that my life was at once assailed by famine and +disease.</p> + +<p>"Meanwhile, my gloomy meditations experienced no respite. I incessantly +ruminated on the events of my past life. The long series of my crimes +arose daily and afresh to my imagination. The image of Lodi was +recalled, his expiring looks and the directions which were mutually +given respecting his sister's and his property.</p> + +<p>"As I perpetually revolved these incidents, they assumed new forms, and +were linked with new associations. The volume written by his father, and +transferred to me by tokens which were now remembered to be more +emphatic than the nature of the composition seemed to justify, was +likewise remembered. It came attended by recollections respecting a +volume which I filled, when a youth, with extracts from the Roman and +Greek poets. Besides this literary purpose, I likewise used to preserve +in it the bank-bills with the keeping or carriage of which I chanced to +be entrusted. This image led me back to the leather case containing +Lodi's property, which was put into my hands at the same time with the +volume.</p> + +<p>"These images now gave birth to a third conception, which darted on my +benighted understanding like an electrical flash. Was it not possible +that part of Lodi's property might be enclosed within the leaves of this +volume? In hastily turning it over, I recollected to have noticed leaves +whose edges by accident or design adhered to each other. Lodi, in +speaking of the sale of his father's West-India property, mentioned that +the sum obtained for it was forty thousand dollars. Half only of this +sum had been discovered by me. How had the remainder been appropriated? +Surely this volume contained it.</p> + +<p>"The influence of this thought was like the infusion of a new soul into +my frame. From torpid and desperate, from inflexible aversion to +medicine and food, I was changed in a moment into vivacity and hope, +into ravenous avidity for whatever could contribute to my restoration to +health.</p> + +<p>"I was not without pungent regrets and racking fears. That this volume +would be ravished away by creditors or plunderers was possible. Every +hour might be that which decided my fate. The first impulse was to seek +my dwelling and search for this precious deposit.</p> + +<p>"Meanwhile, my perturbations and impatience only exasperated my disease. +While chained to my bed, the rumour of pestilence was spread abroad. +This event, however, generally calamitous, was propitious to me, and was +hailed with satisfaction. It multiplied the chances that my house and +its furniture would be unmolested.</p> + +<p>"My friend was assiduous and indefatigable in his kindness. My +deportment, before and subsequent to the revival of my hopes, was +incomprehensible, and argued nothing less than insanity. My thoughts +were carefully concealed from him, and all that he witnessed was +contradictory and unintelligible.</p> + +<p>"At length, my strength was sufficiently restored. I resisted all my +protector's importunities to postpone my departure till the perfect +confirmation of my health. I designed to enter the city at midnight, +that prying eyes might be eluded; to bear with me a candle and the means +of lighting it, to explore my way to my ancient study, and to ascertain +my future claim to existence and felicity.</p> + +<p>"I crossed the river this morning. My impatience would not suffer me to +wait till evening. Considering the desolation of the city, I thought I +might venture to approach thus near, without hazard of detection. The +house, at all its avenues, was closed. I stole into the back court. A +window-shutter proved to be unfastened. I entered, and discovered +closets and cabinets unfastened and emptied of all their contents. At +this spectacle my heart sunk. My books, doubtless, had shared the common +destiny. My blood throbbed with painful vehemence as I approached the +study and opened the door.</p> + +<p>"My hopes, that languished for a moment, were revived by the sight of my +shelves, furnished as formerly. I had lighted my candle below, for I +desired not to awaken observation and suspicion by unclosing the +windows. My eye eagerly sought the spot where I remembered to have left +the volume. Its place was empty. The object of all my hopes had eluded +my grasp, and disappeared forever.</p> + +<p>"To paint my confusion, to repeat my execrations on the infatuation +which had rendered, during so long a time that it was in my possession, +this treasure useless to me, and my curses of the fatal interference +which had snatched away the prize, would be only aggravations of my +disappointment and my sorrow. You found me in this state, and know what +followed."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XXII.</h3> + + +<p>This narrative threw new light on the character of Welbeck. If accident +had given him possession of this treasure, it was easy to predict on +what schemes of luxury and selfishness it would have been expended. The +same dependence on the world's erroneous estimation, the same devotion +to imposture, and thoughtlessness of futurity, would have constituted +the picture of his future life, as had distinguished the past.</p> + +<p>This money was another's. To retain it for his own use was criminal. Of +this crime he appeared to be as insensible as ever. His own +gratification was the supreme law of his actions. To be subjected to the +necessity of honest labour was the heaviest of all evils, and one from +which he was willing to escape by the commission of suicide.</p> + +<p>The volume which he sought was mine. It was my duty to restore it to the +rightful owner, or, if the legal claimant could not be found, to employ +it in the promotion of virtue and happiness. To give it to Welbeck was +to consecrate it to the purpose of selfishness and misery. My right, +legally considered, was as valid as his.</p> + +<p>But, if I intended not to resign it to him, was it proper to disclose +the truth and explain by whom the volume was purloined from the shelf? +The first impulse was to hide this truth; but my understanding had been +taught, by recent occurrences, to question the justice and deny the +usefulness of secrecy in any case. My principles were true; my motives +were pure: why should I scruple to avow my principles and vindicate my +actions?</p> + +<p>Welbeck had ceased to be dreaded or revered. That awe which was once +created by his superiority of age, refinement of manners, and dignity +of garb, had vanished. I was a boy in years, an indigent and uneducated +rustic; but I was able to discern the illusions of power and riches, and +abjured every claim to esteem that was not founded on integrity. There +was no tribunal before which I should falter in asserting the truth, and +no species of martyrdom which I would not cheerfully embrace in its +cause.</p> + +<p>After some pause, I said, "Cannot you conjecture in what way this volume +has disappeared?"</p> + +<p>"No," he answered, with a sigh. "Why, of all his volumes, this only +should have vanished, was an inexplicable enigma."</p> + +<p>"Perhaps," said I, "it is less important to know how it was removed, +than by whom it is now possessed."</p> + +<p>"Unquestionably; and yet, unless that knowledge enables me to regain the +possession, it will be useless."</p> + +<p>"Useless then it will be, for the present possessor will never return it +to you."</p> + +<p>"Indeed," replied he, in a tone of dejection, "your conjecture is most +probable. Such a prize is of too much value to be given up."</p> + +<p>"What I have said flows not from conjecture, but from knowledge. I know +that it will never be restored to you."</p> + +<p>At these words, Welbeck looked at me with anxiety and doubt:—"You +<i>know</i> that it will not! Have you any knowledge of the book? Can you +tell me what has become of it?"</p> + +<p>"Yes. After our separation on the river, I returned to this house. I +found this volume and secured it. You rightly suspected its contents. +The money was there."</p> + +<p>Welbeck started as if he had trodden on a mine of gold. His first +emotion was rapturous, but was immediately chastened by some degree of +doubt:—"What has become of it? Have you got it? Is it entire? Have you +it with you?"</p> + +<p>"It is unimpaired. I have got it, and shall hold it as a sacred trust +for the rightful proprietor."</p> + +<p>The tone with which this declaration was accompanied shook the new-born +confidence of Welbeck. "The rightful proprietor! true, but I am he. To +me only it belongs, and to me you are, doubtless, willing to restore +it."</p> + +<p>"Mr. Welbeck! It is not my desire to give you perplexity or anguish; to +sport with your passions. On the supposition of your death, I deemed it +no infraction of justice to take this manuscript. Accident unfolded its +contents. I could not hesitate to choose my path. The natural and legal +successor of Vincentio Lodi is his sister. To her, therefore, this +property belongs, and to her only will I give it."</p> + +<p>"Presumptuous boy! And this is your sage decision. I tell you that I am +the owner, and to me you shall render it. Who is this girl? Childish and +ignorant! Unable to consult and to act for herself on the most trivial +occasion. Am I not, by the appointment of her dying brother, her +protector and guardian? Her age produces a legal incapacity of property. +Do you imagine that so obvious an expedient as that of procuring my +legal appointment as her guardian was overlooked by me? If it were +neglected, still my title to provide her subsistence and enjoyment is +unquestionable.</p> + +<p>"Did I not rescue her from poverty, and prostitution, and infamy? Have I +not supplied all her wants with incessant solicitude? Whatever her +condition required has been plenteously supplied. The dwelling and its +furniture was hers, as far a rigid jurisprudence would permit. To +prescribe her expenses and govern her family was the province of her +guardian.</p> + +<p>"You have heard the tale of my anguish and despair. Whence did they flow +but from the frustration of schemes projected for her benefit, as they +were executed with her money and by means which the authority of her +guardian fully justified? Why have I encountered this contagious +atmosphere, and explored my way, like a thief, to this recess, but with +a view to rescue her from poverty and restore to her her own?</p> + +<p>"Your scruples are ridiculous and criminal. I treat them with less +severity, because your youth is raw and your conceptions crude. But if, +after this proof of the justice of my claim, you hesitate to restore the +money, I shall treat you as a robber, who has plundered my cabinet and +refused to refund his spoil."</p> + +<p>These reasonings were powerful and new. I was acquainted with the rights +of guardianship. Welbeck had, in some respects, acted as the friend of +this lady. To vest himself with this office was the conduct which her +youth and helplessness prescribed to her friend. His title to this +money, as her guardian, could not be denied.</p> + +<p>But how was this statement compatible with former representations? No +mention had then been made of guardianship. By thus acting, he would +have thwarted all his schemes for winning the esteem of mankind and +fostering the belief which the world entertained of his opulence and +independence.</p> + +<p>I was thrown, by these thoughts, into considerable perplexity. If his +statement were true, his claim to this money was established; but I +questioned its truth. To intimate my doubts of his veracity would be to +provoke abhorrence and outrage.</p> + +<p>His last insinuation was peculiarly momentous. Suppose him the +fraudulent possessor of this money: shall I be justified in taking it +away by violence under pretence of restoring it to the genuine +proprietor, who, for aught I know, may be dead, or with whom, at least, +I may never procure a meeting? But will not my behaviour on this +occasion be deemed illicit? I entered Welbeck's habitation at midnight, +proceeded to his closet, possessed myself of portable property, and +retired unobserved. Is not guilt imputable to an action like this?</p> + +<p>Welbeck waited with impatience for a conclusion to my pause. My +perplexity and indecision did not abate, and my silence continued. At +length, he repeated his demands, with new vehemence. I was compelled to +answer. I told him, in few words, that his reasonings had not convinced +me of the equity of his claim, and that my determination was unaltered.</p> + +<p>He had not expected this inflexibility from one in my situation. The +folly of opposition, when my feebleness and loneliness were contrasted +with his activity and resources, appeared to him monstrous and glaring; +but his contempt was converted into rage and fear when he reflected +that this folly might finally defeat his hopes. He had probably +determined to obtain the money, let the purchase cost what it would, but +was willing to exhaust pacific expedients before he should resort to +force. He might likewise question whether the money was within his +reach. I had told him that I had it, but whether it was now about me was +somewhat dubious; yet, though he used no direct inquiries, he chose to +proceed on the supposition of its being at hand. His angry tones were +now changed into those of remonstrance and persuasion:—</p> + +<p>"Your present behaviour, Mervyn, does not justify the expectation I had +formed of you. You have been guilty of a base theft. To this you have +added the deeper crime of ingratitude, but your infatuation and folly +are, at least, as glaring as your guilt. Do you think I can credit your +assertions that you keep this money for another, when I recollect that +six weeks have passed since you carried it off? Why have you not sought +the owner and restored it to her? If your intentions had been honest, +would you have suffered so long a time to elapse without doing this? It +is plain that you designed to keep it for your own use.</p> + +<p>"But, whether this were your purpose or not, you have no longer power to +restore it or retain it. You say that you came hither to die. If so, +what is to be the fate of the money? In your present situation you +cannot gain access to the lady. Some other must inherit this wealth. +Next to <i>Signora Lodi</i>, whose right can be put in competition with mine? +But, if you will not give it to me on my own account, let it be given in +trust for her. Let me be the bearer of it to her own hands. I have +already shown you that my claim to it, as her guardian, is legal and +incontrovertible, but this claim I waive. I will merely be the executor +of your will. I will bind myself to comply with your directions by any +oath, however solemn and tremendous, which you shall prescribe."</p> + +<p>As long as my own heart acquitted me, these imputations of dishonesty +affected me but little. They excited no anger, because they originated +in ignorance, and were rendered plausible to Welbeck by such facts as +were known to him. It was needless to confute the charge by elaborate +and circumstantial details.</p> + +<p>It was true that my recovery was, in the highest degree, improbable, and +that my death would put an end to my power over this money; but had I +not determined to secure its useful application in case of my death? +This project was obstructed by the presence of Welbeck; but I hoped that +his love of life would induce him to fly. He might wrest this volume +from me by violence, or he might wait till my death should give him +peaceable possession. But these, though probable events, were not +certain, and would, by no means, justify the voluntary surrender. His +strength, if employed for this end, could not be resisted; but then it +would be a sacrifice, not a choice, but necessity.</p> + +<p>Promises were easily given, but were surely not to be confided in. +Welbeck's own tale, in which it could not be imagined that he had +aggravated his defects, attested the frailty of his virtue. To put into +his hands a sum like this, in expectation of his delivering it to +another, when my death would cover the transaction with impenetrable +secrecy, would be, indeed, a proof of that infatuation which he thought +proper to impute to me.</p> + +<p>These thoughts influenced my resolutions, but they were revolved in +silence. To state them verbally was useless. They would not justify my +conduct in his eyes. They would only exasperate dispute, and impel him +to those acts of violence which I was desirous of preventing. The sooner +this controversy should end, and I in any measure be freed from the +obstruction of his company, the better.</p> + +<p>"Mr. Welbeck," said I, "my regard to your safety compels me to wish that +this interview should terminate. At a different time, I should not be +unwilling to discuss this matter. Now it will be fruitless. My +conscience points out to me too clearly the path I should pursue for me +to mistake it. As long as I have power over this money, I shall keep it +for the use of the unfortunate lady whom I have seen in this house. I +shall exert myself to find her; but, if that be impossible, I shall +appropriate it in a way in which you shall have no participation."</p> + +<p>I will not repeat the contest that succeeded between my forbearance and +his passions. I listened to the dictates of his rage and his avarice in +silence. Astonishment at my inflexibility was blended with his anger. By +turns he commented on the guilt and on the folly of my resolutions. +Sometimes his emotions would mount into fury, and he would approach me +in a menacing attitude, and lift his hand as if he would exterminate me +at a blow. My languid eyes, my cheeks glowing and my temples throbbing +with fever, and my total passiveness, attracted his attention and +arrested his stroke. Compassion would take the place of rage, and the +belief be revived that remonstrances and arguments would answer his +purpose.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XXIII.</h3> + + +<p>This scene lasted I know not how long. Insensibly the passions and +reasonings of Welbeck assumed a new form. A grief, mingled with +perplexity, overspread his countenance. He ceased to contend or to +speak. His regards were withdrawn from me, on whom they had hitherto +been fixed; and, wandering or vacant, testified a conflict of mind +terrible beyond any that my young imagination had ever conceived.</p> + +<p>For a time he appeared to be unconscious of my presence. He moved to and +fro with unequal steps, and with gesticulations that possessed a +horrible but indistinct significance. Occasionally he struggled for +breath, and his efforts were directed to remove some choking impediment.</p> + +<p>No test of my fortitude had hitherto occurred equal to that to which it +was now subjected. The suspicion which this deportment suggested was +vague and formless. The tempest which I witnessed was the prelude of +horror. These were throes which would terminate in the birth of some +gigantic and sanguinary purpose. Did he meditate to offer a bloody +sacrifice? Was his own death or was mine to attest the magnitude of his +despair or the impetuosity of his vengeance?</p> + +<p>Suicide was familiar to his thoughts. He had consented to live but on +one condition; that of regaining possession of this money. Should I be +justified in driving him, by my obstinate refusal, to this fatal +consummation of his crimes? Yet my fear of this catastrophe was +groundless. Hitherto he had argued and persuaded; but this method was +pursued because it was more eligible than the employment of force, or +than procrastination.</p> + +<p>No. These were tokens that pointed to me. Some unknown instigation was +at work within him, to tear away his remnant of humanity and fit him for +the office of my murderer. I knew not how the accumulation of guilt +could contribute to his gratification or security. His actions had been +partially exhibited and vaguely seen. What extenuations or omissions had +vitiated his former or recent narrative; how far his actual performances +were congenial with the deed which was now to be perpetrated, I knew +not.</p> + +<p>These thoughts lent new rapidity to my blood. I raised my head from the +pillow, and watched the deportment of this man with deeper attention. +The paroxysm which controlled him at length, in some degree, subsided. +He muttered, "Yes. It must come. My last humiliation must cover me. My +last confession must be made. To die, and leave behind me this train of +enormous perils, must not be.</p> + +<p>"O Clemenza! O Mervyn! Ye have not merited that I should leave you a +legacy of persecution and death. Your safety must be purchased at what +price my malignant destiny will set upon it. The cord of the +executioner, the note of everlasting infamy, is better than to leave you +beset by the consequences of my guilt. It must not be."</p> + +<p>Saying this, Welbeck cast fearful glances at the windows and door. He +examined every avenue and listened. Thrice he repeated this scrutiny. +Having, as it seemed, ascertained that no one lurked within audience, he +approached the bed. He put his mouth close to my face. He attempted to +speak, but once more examined the apartment with suspicious glances.</p> + +<p>He drew closer, and at length, in a tone scarcely articulate, and +suffocated with emotion, he spoke:—"Excellent but fatally-obstinate +youth! Know at least the cause of my importunity. Know at least the +depth of my infatuation and the enormity of my guilt.</p> + +<p>"The bills—surrender them to me, and save yourself from persecution and +disgrace. Save the woman whom you wish to benefit, from the blackest +imputations; from hazard to her life and her fame; from languishing in +dungeons; from expiring on the gallows!</p> + +<p>"The bills—oh, save me from the bitterness of death! Let the evils to +which my miserable life has given birth terminate here and in myself. +Surrender them to me, for——"</p> + +<p>There he stopped. His utterence was choked by terror. Rapid glances were +again darted at the windows and door. The silence was uninterrupted, +except by far-off sounds, produced by some moving carriage. Once more he +summoned resolution, and spoke:—</p> + +<p>"Surrender them to me—for—<i>they are forged</i>!</p> + +<p>"Formerly I told you, that a scheme of forgery had been conceived. Shame +would not suffer me to add, that my scheme was carried into execution. +The bills were fashioned, but my fears contended against my necessities, +and forbade me to attempt to exchange them. The interview with Lodi +saved me from the dangerous experiment. I enclosed them in that volume, +as the means of future opulence, to be used when all other and less +hazardous resources should fail.</p> + +<p>"In the agonies of my remorse at the death of Watson, they were +forgotten. They afterwards recurred to recollection. My wishes pointed +to the grave; but the stroke that should deliver me from life was +suspended only till I could hasten hither, get possession of these +papers, and destroy them.</p> + +<p>"When I thought upon the chances that should give them an owner; bring +them into circulation; load the innocent with suspicion; and lead them +to trial, and, perhaps, to death, my sensations were fraught with agony; +earnestly as I panted for death, it was necessarily deferred till I had +gained possession of and destroyed these papers.</p> + +<p>"What now remains? You have found them. Happily they have not been used. +Give them, therefore, to me, that I may crush at once the brood of +mischiefs which they could not but generate."</p> + +<p>This disclosure was strange. It was accompanied with every token of +sincerity. How had I tottered on the brink of destruction! If I had made +use of this money, in what a labyrinth of misery might I not have been +involved! My innocence could never have been proved. An alliance with +Welbeck could not have failed to be inferred. My career would have found +an ignominious close; or, if my punishment had been transmuted into +slavery and toil, would the testimony of my conscience have supported +me?</p> + +<p>I shuddered at the view of those disasters from which I was rescued by +the miraculous chance which led me to this house. Welbeck's request was +salutary to me and honourable to himself. I could not hesitate a moment +in compliance. The notes were enclosed in paper, and deposited in a fold +of my clothes. I put my hand upon them.</p> + +<p>My motion and attention were arrested, at the instant, by a noise which +arose in the street. Footsteps were heard upon the pavement before the +door, and voices, as if busy in discourse. This incident was adapted to +infuse the deepest alarm into myself and my companion. The motives of +our trepidation were, indeed, different, and were infinitely more +powerful in my case than in his. It portended to me nothing less than +the loss of my asylum, and condemnation to an hospital.</p> + +<p>Welbeck hurried to the door, to listen to the conversation below. This +interval was pregnant with thought. That impulse which led my +reflections from Welbeck to my own state passed away in a moment, and +suffered me to meditate anew upon the terms of that confession which had +just been made.</p> + +<p>Horror at the fate which this interview had enabled me to shun was +uppermost in my conceptions. I was eager to surrender these fatal bills. +I held them for that purpose in my hand, and was impatient for Welbeck's +return. He continued at the door; stooping, with his face averted, and +eagerly attentive to the conversation in the street.</p> + +<p>All the circumstances of my present situation tended to arrest the +progress of thought and chain my contemplations to one image; but even +now there was room for foresight and deliberation. Welbeck intended to +destroy these bills. Perhaps he had not been sincere; or, if his +purpose had been honestly disclosed, this purpose might change when the +bills were in his possession. His poverty and sanguineness of temper +might prompt him to use them.</p> + +<p>That this conduct was evil, and would only multiply his miseries, could +not be questioned. Why should I subject his frailty to this temptation? +The destruction of these bills was the loudest injunction of my duty; +was demanded by every sanction which bound me to promote the welfare of +mankind.</p> + +<p>The means of destruction was easy. A lighted candle stood on a table, at +the distance of a few yards. Why should I hesitate a moment to +annihilate so powerful a cause of error and guilt? A passing instant was +sufficient. A momentary lingering might change the circumstances that +surrounded me, and frustrate my project.</p> + +<p>My languors were suspended by the urgencies of this occasion. I started +from my bed and glided to the table. Seizing the notes with my right +hand, I held them in the flame of the candle, and then threw them, +blazing, on the floor.</p> + +<p>The sudden illumination was perceived by Welbeck. The cause of it +appeared to suggest itself as soon. He turned, and, marking the paper +where it lay, leaped to the spot, and extinguished the fire with his +foot. His interposition was too late. Only enough of them remained to +inform him of the nature of the sacrifice.</p> + +<p>Welbeck now stood, with limbs trembling, features aghast, and eyes +glaring upon me. For a time he was without speech. The storm was +gathering in silence, and at length burst upon me. In a tone menacing +and loud, he exclaimed,—</p> + +<p>"Wretch! what have you done?"</p> + +<p>"I have done justly. These notes were false. You desired to destroy +them, that they might not betray the innocent. I applauded your purpose, +and have saved you from the danger of temptation by destroying them +myself."</p> + +<p>"Maniac! Miscreant! To be fooled by so gross an artifice! The notes were +genuine. The tale of their forgery was false and meant only to wrest +them from you. Execrable and perverse idiot! Your deed has sealed my +perdition. It has sealed your own. You shall pay for it with your blood. +I will slay you by inches. I will stretch you, as you have stretched me, +on the rack."</p> + +<p>During this speech, all was frenzy and storm in the countenance and +features of Welbeck. Nothing less could be expected than that the scene +would terminate in some bloody catastrophe. I bitterly regretted the +facility with which I had been deceived, and the precipitation of my +sacrifice. The act, however lamentable, could not be revoked. What +remained but to encounter or endure its consequences with unshrinking +firmness?</p> + +<p>The contest was too unequal. It is possible that the frenzy which +actuated Welbeck might have speedily subsided. It is more likely that +his passions would have been satiated with nothing but my death. This +event was precluded by loud knocks at the street door, and calls by some +one on the pavement without, of—"Who is within? Is any one within?"</p> + +<p>These noises gave a new direction to Welbeck's thoughts. "They are +coming," said he. "They will treat you as a sick man and a thief. I +cannot desire you to suffer a worse evil than they will inflict. I leave +you to your fate." So saying, he rushed out of the room.</p> + +<p>Though confounded and stunned by this rapid succession of events, I was +yet able to pursue measures for eluding these detested visitants. I +first extinguished the light, and then, observing that the parley in the +street continued and grew louder, I sought an asylum in the remotest +corner of the house. During my former abode here, I noticed that a +trap-door opened in the ceiling of the third story, to which you were +conducted by a movable stair or ladder. I considered that this, +probably, was an opening into a narrow and darksome nook formed by the +angle of the roof. By ascending, drawing after me the ladder, and +closing the door, I should escape the most vigilant search.</p> + +<p>Enfeebled as I was by my disease, my resolution rendered me strenuous. I +gained the uppermost room, and, mounting the ladder, found myself at a +sufficient distance from suspicion. The stair was hastily drawn up, and +the door closed. In a few minutes, however, my new retreat proved to be +worse than any for which it was possible to change it. The air was +musty, stagnant, and scorchingly hot. My breathing became difficult, and +I saw that to remain here ten minutes would unavoidably produce +suffocation.</p> + +<p>My terror of intruders had rendered me blind to the consequences of +immuring myself in this cheerless recess. It was incumbent on me to +extricate myself as speedily as possible. I attempted to lift the door. +My first effort was successless. Every inspiration was quicker and more +difficult than the former. As my terror, so my strength and my exertions +increased. Finally my trembling hand lighted on a nail that was +imperfectly driven into the wood, and which, by affording me a firmer +hold, enabled me at length to raise it, and to inhale the air from +beneath.</p> + +<p>Relieved from my new peril by this situation, I bent an attentive ear +through the opening, with a view to ascertain if the house had been +entered or if the outer door was still beset, but could hear nothing. +Hence I was authorized to conclude that the people had departed, and +that I might resume my former station without hazard.</p> + +<p>Before I descended, however, I cast a curious eye over this recess. It +was large enough to accommodate a human being. The means by which it was +entered were easily concealed. Though narrow and low, it was long, and, +were it possible to contrive some inlet for the air, one studious of +concealment might rely on its protection with unbounded confidence.</p> + +<p>My scrutiny was imperfect by reason of the faint light which found its +way through the opening; yet it was sufficient to set me afloat on a sea +of new wonders and subject my fortitude to a new test.—</p> + +<p>Here Mervyn paused in his narrative. A minute passed in silence and +seeming indecision. His perplexities gradually disappeared, and he +continued:—</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>I have promised to relate the momentous incidents of my life, and have +hitherto been faithful in my enumeration. There is nothing which I more +detest than equivocation and mystery. Perhaps, however, I shall now +incur some imputation of that kind. I would willingly escape the +accusation, but confess that I am hopeless of escaping it.</p> + +<p>I might, indeed, have precluded your guesses and surmises by omitting to +relate what befell me from the time of my leaving my chamber till I +regained it. I might deceive you by asserting that nothing remarkable +occurred; but this would be false, and every sacrifice is trivial which +is made upon the altar of sincerity. Besides, the time may come when no +inconvenience will arise from minute descriptions of the objects which I +now saw, and of the reasonings and inferences which they suggested to my +understanding. At present, it appears to be my duty to pass them over in +silence; but it would be needless to conceal from you that the interval, +though short, and the scrutiny, though hasty, furnished matter which my +curiosity devoured with unspeakable eagerness, and from which +consequences may hereafter flow, deciding on my peace and my life.</p> + +<p>Nothing, however, occurred which could detain me long in this spot. I +once more sought the lower story and threw myself on the bed which I had +left. My mind was thronged with the images flowing from my late +adventure. My fever had gradually increased, and my thoughts were +deformed by inaccuracy and confusion.</p> + +<p>My heart did not sink when I reverted to my own condition. That I should +quickly be disabled from moving, was readily perceived. The foresight of +my destiny was steadfast and clear. To linger for days in this +comfortless solitude, to ask in vain, not for powerful restoratives or +alleviating cordials, but for water to moisten my burning lips and abate +the torments of thirst; ultimately to expire in torpor or frenzy, was +the fate to which I looked forward; yet I was not terrified. I seemed to +be sustained by a preternatural energy. I felt as if the opportunity of +combating such evils was an enviable privilege, and, though none would +witness my victorious magnanimity, yet to be conscious that praise was +my due was all that my ambition required.</p> + +<p>These sentiments were doubtless tokens of delirium. The excruciating +agonies which now seized upon my head, and the cord which seemed to be +drawn across my breast, and which, as my fancy imagined, was tightened +by some forcible hand, with a view to strangle me, were incompatible +with sober and coherent views.</p> + +<p>Thirst was the evil which chiefly oppressed me. The means of relief was +pointed out by nature and habit. I rose, and determined to replenish my +pitcher at the well. It was easier, however, to descend than to return. +My limbs refused to bear me, and I sat down upon the lower step of the +staircase. Several hours had elapsed since my entrance into this +dwelling, and it was now night.</p> + +<p>My imagination now suggested a new expedient. Medlicote was a generous +and fearless spirit. To put myself under his protection, if I could walk +as far as his lodgings, was the wisest proceeding which I could adopt. +From this design, my incapacity to walk thus far, and the consequences +of being discovered in the street, had hitherto deterred me. These +impediments were now, in the confusion of my understanding, overlooked +or despised, and I forthwith set out upon this hopeless expedition.</p> + +<p>The doors communicating with the court, and, through the court, with the +street, were fastened by inside bolts. These were easily withdrawn, and +I issued forth with alacrity and confidence. My perturbed senses and the +darkness hindered me from discerning the right way. I was conscious of +this difficulty, but was not disheartened. I proceeded, as I have since +discovered, in a direction different from the true, but hesitated not +till my powers were exhausted and I sunk upon the ground. I closed my +eyes, and dismissed all fear, and all foresight of futurity. In this +situation I remained some hours, and should probably have expired on +this spot, had not I attracted your notice, and been provided, under +this roof, with all that medical skill, that the tenderest humanity +could suggest.</p> + +<p>In consequence of your care, I have been restored to life and to health. +Your conduct was not influenced by the prospect of pecuniary recompense, +of service, or of gratitude. It is only in one way that I am able to +heighten the gratification which must flow from reflection on your +conduct:—by showing that the being whose life you have prolonged, +though uneducated, ignorant, and poor, is not profligate and worthless, +and will not dedicate that life which your bounty has given, to +mischievous or contemptible purposes.</p> + + +<p class="center" style="margin-top: 5em;">END OF VOL I.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>ARTHUR MERVYN;</h2> + +<h4>OR,</h4> + +<h3>MEMOIRS OF THE YEAR 1793.</h3> + +<h5>VOL. II.</h5> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>ARTHUR MERVYN.</h2> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XXIV.</h3> + + +<p>Here ended the narrative of Mervyn. Surely its incidents were of no +common kind. During this season of pestilence, my opportunities of +observation had been numerous, and I had not suffered them to pass +unimproved. The occurrences which fell within my own experience bore a +general resemblance to those which had just been related, but they did +not hinder the latter from striking on my mind with all the force of +novelty. They served no end, but as vouchers for the truth of the tale.</p> + +<p>Surely the youth had displayed inimitable and heroic qualities. His +courage was the growth of benevolence and reason, and not the child of +insensibility and the nursling of habit. He had been qualified for the +encounter of gigantic dangers by no laborious education. He stepped +forth upon the stage, unfurnished, by anticipation or experience, with +the means of security against fraud; and yet, by the aid of pure +intentions, had frustrated the wiles of an accomplished and veteran +deceiver.</p> + +<p>I blessed the chance which placed the youth under my protection. When I +reflected on that tissue of nice contingencies which led him to my door, +and enabled me to save from death a being of such rare endowments, my +heart overflowed with joy, not unmingled with regrets and trepidation. +How many have been cut off by this disease, in their career of virtue +and their blossom-time of genius! How many deeds of heroism and +self-devotion are ravished from existence, and consigned to hopeless +oblivion!</p> + +<p>I had saved the life of this youth. This was not the limit of my duty or +my power. Could I not render that life profitable to himself and to +mankind? The gains of my profession were slender; but these gains were +sufficient for his maintenance as well as my own. By residing with me, +partaking my instructions, and reading my books, he would, in a few +years, be fitted for the practice of physic. A science whose truths are +so conducive to the welfare of mankind, and which comprehends the whole +system of nature, could not but gratify a mind so beneficent and +strenuous as his.</p> + +<p>This scheme occurred to me as soon as the conclusion of his tale allowed +me to think. I did not immediately mention it, since the approbation of +my wife, of whose concurrence, however, I entertained no doubt, was +previously to be obtained. Dismissing it, for the present, from my +thoughts, I reverted to the incidents of his tale.</p> + +<p>The lady whom Welbeck had betrayed and deserted was not unknown to me. I +was but too well acquainted with her fate. If she had been single in +calamity, her tale would have been listened to with insupportable +sympathy; but the frequency of the spectacle of distress seems to lessen +the compassion with which it is reviewed. Now that those scenes are only +remembered, my anguish is greater than when they were witnessed. Then +every new day was only a repetition of the disasters of the foregoing. +My sensibility, if not extinguished, was blunted; and I gazed upon the +complicated ills of poverty and sickness with a degree of unconcern on +which I should once have reflected with astonishment.</p> + +<p>The fate of Clemenza Lodi was not, perhaps, more signal than many which +have occurred. It threw detestable light upon the character of Welbeck, +and showed him to be more inhuman than the tale of Mervyn had evinced +him to be. That man, indeed, was hitherto imperfectly seen. The time had +not come which should fully unfold the enormity of his transgressions +and the complexity of his frauds.</p> + +<p>There lived in a remote quarter of the city a woman, by name Villars, +who passed for the widow of an English officer. Her manners and mode of +living were specious. She had three daughters, well trained in the +school of fashion, and elegant in person, manners, and dress. They had +lately arrived from Europe, and, for a time, received from their +neighbours that respect to which their education and fortune appeared to +lay claim.</p> + +<p>The fallacy of their pretensions slowly appeared. It began to be +suspected that their subsistence was derived not from pension or +patrimony, but from the wages of pollution. Their habitation was +clandestinely frequented by men who were unfaithful to their secret; one +of these was allied to me by ties which authorized me in watching his +steps and detecting his errors, with a view to his reformation. From him +I obtained a knowledge of the genuine character of these women.</p> + +<p>A man like Welbeck, who was the slave of depraved appetites, could not +fail of being quickly satiated with innocence and beauty. Some accident +introduced him to the knowledge of this family, and the youngest +daughter found him a proper subject on which to exercise her artifices. +It was to the frequent demands made upon his purse, by this woman, that +part of the embarrassments in which Mervyn found him involved are to be +ascribed.</p> + +<p>To this circumstance must likewise be imputed his anxiety to transfer to +some other the possession of the unhappy stranger. Why he concealed from +Mervyn his connection with Lucy Villars may be easily imagined. His +silence with regard to Clemenza's asylum will not create surprise, when +it was told that she was placed with Mrs. Villars. On what conditions +she was received under this roof, cannot be so readily conjectured. It +is obvious, however, to suppose that advantage was to be taken of her +ignorance and weakness, and that they hoped, in time, to make her an +associate in their profligate schemes.</p> + +<p>The appearance of pestilence, meanwhile, threw them into panic, and they +hastened to remove from danger. Mrs. Villars appears to have been a +woman of no ordinary views. She stooped to the vilest means of amassing +money; but this money was employed to secure to herself and her +daughters the benefits of independence. She purchased the house which +she occupied in the city, and a mansion in the environs, well built and +splendidly furnished. To the latter, she and her family, of which the +Italian girl was now a member, retired at the close of July.</p> + +<p>I have mentioned that the source of my intelligence was a kinsman, who +had been drawn from the paths of sobriety and rectitude by the +impetuosity of youthful passions. He had power to confess and deplore, +but none to repair, his errors. One of these women held him by a spell +which he struggled in vain to dissolve, and by which, in spite of +resolutions and remorses, he was drawn to her feet, and made to +sacrifice to her pleasure his reputation and his fortune.</p> + +<p>My house was his customary abode during those intervals in which he was +persuaded to pursue his profession. Some time before the infection began +its progress, he had disappeared. No tidings were received of him, till +a messenger arrived, entreating my assistance. I was conducted to the +house of Mrs. Villars, in which I found no one but my kinsman. Here, it +seems, he had immured himself from my inquiries, and, on being seized by +the reigning malady, had been deserted by the family, who, ere they +departed, informed me by a messenger of his condition.</p> + +<p>Despondency combined with his disease to destroy him. Before he died, he +informed me fully of the character of his betrayers. The late arrival, +name, and personal condition of Clemenza Lodi were related. Welbeck was +not named, but was described in terms which, combined with the narrative +of Mervyn, enabled me to recognise the paramour of Lucy Villars in the +man whose crimes had been the principal theme of our discourse.</p> + +<p>Mervyn's curiosity was greatly roused when I intimated my acquaintance +with the fate of Clemenza. In answer to his eager interrogations, I +related what I knew. The tale plunged him into reverie. Recovering, at +length, from his thoughtfulness, he spoke:—</p> + +<p>"Her condition is perilous. The poverty of Welbeck will drive him far +from her abode. Her profligate protectors will entice her or abandon her +to ruin. Cannot she be saved?"</p> + +<p>"I know not," answered I, "by what means."</p> + +<p>"The means are obvious. Let her remove to some other dwelling. Let her +be apprized of the vices of those who surround her. Let her be entreated +to fly. The will need only be inspired, the danger need only be shown, +and she is safe, for she will remove beyond its reach."</p> + +<p>"Thou art an adventurous youth. Who wilt thou find to undertake the +office? Who will be persuaded to enter the house of a stranger, seek +without an introduction the presence of this girl, tell her that the +house she inhabits is a house of prostitution, prevail on her to believe +the tale, and persuade her to accompany him? Who will open his house to +the fugitive? Whom will you convince that her illicit intercourse with +Welbeck, of which the opprobrious tokens cannot be concealed, has not +fitted her for the company of prostitutes, and made her unworthy of +protection? Who will adopt into their family a stranger whose conduct +has incurred infamy, and whose present associates have, no doubt, made +her worthy of the curse?"</p> + +<p>"True. These are difficulties which I did not foresee. Must she then +perish? Shall not something be done to rescue her from infamy and +guilt?"</p> + +<p>"It is neither in your power nor in mine to do any thing."</p> + +<p>The lateness of the hour put an end to our conversation and summoned us +to repose. I seized the first opportunity of imparting to my wife the +scheme which had occurred, relative to our guest; with which, as I +expected, she readily concurred. In the morning, I mentioned it to +Mervyn. I dwelt upon the benefits that adhered to the medical +profession, the power which it confers of lightening the distresses of +our neighbours, the dignity which popular opinion annexes to it, the +avenue which it opens to the acquisition of competence, the freedom from +servile cares which attends it, and the means of intellectual +gratification with which it supplies us.</p> + +<p>As I spoke, his eyes sparkled with joy. "Yes," said he, with vehemence, +"I willingly embrace your offer. I accept this benefit, because I know +that, if my pride should refuse it, I should prove myself less worthy +than you think, and give you pain, instead of that pleasure which I am +bound to confer. I would enter on the duties and studies of my new +profession immediately; but somewhat is due to Mr. Hadwin and his +daughters. I cannot vanquish my inquietudes respecting them, but by +returning to Malverton and ascertaining their state with my own eyes. +You know in what circumstances I parted with Wallace and Mr. Hadwin. I +am not sure that either of them ever reached home, or that they did not +carry the infection along with them. I now find myself sufficiently +strong to perform the journey, and purposed to have acquainted you, at +this interview, with my intentions. An hour's delay is superfluous, and +I hope you will consent to my setting out immediately. Rural exercise +and air, for a week or fortnight, will greatly contribute to my health."</p> + +<p>No objection could be made to this scheme. His narrative had excited no +common affection in our bosoms for the Hadwins. His visit could not only +inform us of their true state, but would dispel that anxiety which they +could not but entertain respecting our guest. It was a topic of some +surprise that neither Wallace nor Hadwin had returned to the city, with +a view to obtain some tidings of their friend. It was more easy to +suppose them to have been detained by some misfortune, than by +insensibility or indolence. In a few minutes Mervyn bade us adieu, and +set out upon his journey, promising to acquaint us with the state of +affairs as soon as possible after his arrival. We parted from him with +reluctance, and found no consolation but in the prospect of his speedy +return.</p> + +<p>During his absence, conversation naturally turned upon those topics +which were suggested by the narrative and deportment of this youth. +Different conclusions were formed by his two auditors. They had both +contracted a deep interest in his welfare, and an ardent curiosity as to +those particulars which his unfinished story had left in obscurity. The +true character and actual condition of Welbeck were themes of much +speculation. Whether he were dead or alive, near or distant from his +ancient abode, was a point on which neither Mervyn, nor any of those +with whom I had means of intercourse, afforded any information. Whether +he had shared the common fate, and had been carried by the collectors of +the dead from the highway or the hovel to the pits opened alike for the +rich and the poor, the known and the unknown; whether he had escaped to +a foreign shore, or were destined to reappear upon this stage, were +questions involved in uncertainty.</p> + +<p>The disappearance of Watson would, at a different time, have excited +much inquiry and suspicion; but, as this had taken place on the eve of +the epidemic, his kindred and friends would acquiesce, without scruple, +in the belief that he had been involved in the general calamity, and was +to be numbered among the earliest victims. Those of his profession +usually resided in the street where the infection began, and where its +ravages had been most destructive; and this circumstance would +corroborate the conclusions of his friends.</p> + +<p>I did not perceive any immediate advantage to flow from imparting the +knowledge I had lately gained to others. Shortly after Mervyn's +departure to Malverton, I was visited by Wortley. Inquiring for my +guest, I told him that, having recovered his health, he had left my +house. He repeated his invectives against the villany of Welbeck, his +suspicions of Mervyn, and his wishes for another interview with the +youth. Why had I suffered him to depart, and whither had he gone?</p> + +<p>"He has gone for a short time into the country. I expect him to return +in less than a week, when you will meet with him here as often as you +please, for I expect him to take up his abode in this house."</p> + +<p>Much astonishment and disapprobation were expressed by my friend. I +hinted that the lad had made disclosures to me, which justified my +confidence in his integrity. These proofs of his honesty were not of a +nature to be indiscriminately unfolded. Mervyn had authorized me to +communicate so much of his story to Wortley, as would serve to vindicate +him from the charge of being Welbeck's co-partner in fraud; but this end +would only be counteracted by an imperfect tale, and the full recital, +though it might exculpate Mervyn, might produce inconveniences by which +this advantage would be outweighed.</p> + +<p>Wortley, as might be naturally expected, was by no means satisfied with +this statement. He suspected that Mervyn was a wily impostor; that he +had been trained in the arts of fraud, under an accomplished teacher; +that the tale which he had told to me was a tissue of ingenious and +plausible lies; that the mere assertions, however plausible and solemn, +of one like him, whose conduct had incurred such strong suspicions, were +unworthy of the least credit.</p> + +<p>"It cannot be denied," continued my friend, "that he lived with Welbeck +at the time of his elopement; that they disappeared together; that they +entered a boat, at Pine Street wharf, at midnight; that this boat was +discovered by the owner in the possession of a fisherman at Redbank, who +affirmed that he had found it stranded near his door, the day succeeding +that on which they disappeared. Of all this I can supply you with +incontestable proof. If, after this proof, you can give credit to his +story, I shall think you made of very perverse and credulous materials."</p> + +<p>"The proof you mention," said I, "will only enhance his credibility. All +the facts which you have stated have been admitted by him. They +constitute an essential portion of his narrative."</p> + +<p>"What then is the inference? Are not these evidences of a compact +between them? Has he not acknowledged this compact in confessing that he +knew Welbeck was my debtor; that he was apprized of his flight, but that +(what matchless effrontery!) he had promised secrecy, and would, by no +means, betray him? You say he means to return; but of that I doubt. You +will never see his face more. He is too wise to thrust himself again +into the noose; but I do not utterly despair of lighting upon Welbeck. +Old Thetford, Jamieson, and I, have sworn to hunt him through the world. +I have strong hopes that he has not strayed far. Some intelligence has +lately been received, which has enabled us to place our hounds upon his +scent. He may double and skulk; but, if he does not fall into our toils +at last, he will have the agility and cunning, as well as the malignity, +of devils."</p> + +<p>The vengeful disposition thus betrayed by Wortley was not without +excuse. The vigour of his days had been spent in acquiring a slender +capital; his diligence and honesty had succeeded, and he had lately +thought his situation such as to justify marriage with an excellent +woman, to whom he had for years been betrothed, but from whom his +poverty had hitherto compelled him to live separate. Scarcely had this +alliance taken place, and the full career of nuptial enjoyments begun, +when his ill fate exposed him to the frauds of Welbeck, and brought him, +in one evil hour, to the brink of insolvency.</p> + +<p>Jamieson and Thetford, however, were rich, and I had not till now been +informed that they had reasons for pursuing Welbeck with peculiar +animosity. The latter was the uncle of him whose fate had been related +by Mervyn, and was one of those who employed money, not as the medium of +traffic, but as in itself a commodity. He had neither wines nor cloths, +to transmute into silver. He thought it a tedious process to exchange +to-day one hundred dollars for a cask or bale, and to-morrow exchange +the bale or cask for one hundred <i>and ten</i> dollars. It was better to +give the hundred for a piece of paper, which, carried forthwith to the +money-changers, he could procure a hundred twenty-three and +three-fourths. In short, this man's coffers were supplied by the despair +of honest men and the stratagems of rogues. I did not immediately +suspect how this man's prudence and indefatigable attention to his own +interest should allow him to become the dupe of Welbeck.</p> + +<p>"What," said I, "is old Thetford's claim upon Welbeck?"</p> + +<p>"It is a claim," he replied, "that, if it ever be made good, will doom +Welbeck to imprisonment and wholesome labour for life."</p> + +<p>"How? Surely it is nothing more than debt."</p> + +<p>"Have you not heard? But that is no wonder. Happily you are a stranger +to mercantile anxieties and revolutions. Your fortune does not rest on a +basis which an untoward blast may sweep away, or four strokes of a pen +may demolish. That hoary dealer in suspicions was persuaded to put his +hand to three notes for eight hundred dollars each. The <i>eight</i> was then +dexterously prolonged to eigh<i>teen</i>; they were duly deposited in time +and place, and the next day Welbeck was credited for fifty-three hundred +and seventy-three, which, an hour after, were <i>told out</i> to his +messenger. Hard to say whether the old man's grief, shame, or rage, be +uppermost. He disdains all comfort but revenge, and that he will procure +at any price. Jamieson, who deals in the same <i>stuff</i> with Thetford, was +outwitted in the same manner, to the same amount, and on the same day.</p> + +<p>"This Welbeck must have powers above the common rate of mortals. Grown +gray in studying the follies and the stratagems of men, these veterans +were overreached. No one pities them. 'Twere well if his artifices had +been limited to such, and he had spared the honest and the poor. It is +for his injuries to men who have earned their scanty subsistence without +forfeiting their probity, that I hate him, and shall exult to see him +suffer all the rigours of the law." Here Wortley's engagements compelled +him to take his leave.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XXV.</h3> + + +<p>While musing upon these facts, I could not but reflect with astonishment +on the narrow escapes which Mervyn's virtue had experienced. I was by no +means certain that his fame or his life was exempt from all danger, or +that the suspicions which had already been formed respecting him could +possibly be wiped away. Nothing but his own narrative, repeated with +that simple but nervous eloquence which we had witnessed, could rescue +him from the most heinous charges. Was there any tribunal that would not +acquit him on merely hearing his defence?</p> + +<p>Surely the youth was honest. His tale could not be the fruit of +invention; and yet, what are the bounds of fraud? Nature has set no +limits to the combinations of fancy. A smooth exterior, a show of +virtue, and a specious tale, are, a thousand times, exhibited in human +intercourse by craft and subtlety. Motives are endlessly varied, while +actions continue the same; and an acute penetration may not find it hard +to select and arrange motives, suited to exempt from censure any action +that a human being can commit.</p> + +<p>Had I heard Mervyn's story from another, or read it in a book, I might, +perhaps, have found it possible to suspect the truth; but, as long as +the impression made by his tones, gestures, and looks, remained in my +memory, this suspicion was impossible. Wickedness may sometimes be +ambiguous, its mask may puzzle the observer; our judgment may be made to +falter and fluctuate, but the face of Mervyn is the index of an honest +mind. Calm or vehement, doubting or confident, it is full of benevolence +and candour. He that listens to his words may question their truth, but +he that looks upon his countenance when speaking cannot withhold his +faith.</p> + +<p>It was possible, however, to find evidence supporting or confuting his +story. I chanced to be acquainted with a family, by name Althorpe, who +were natives of that part of the country where his father resided. I +paid them a visit, and, after a few preliminaries, mentioned, as if by +accident, the name of Mervyn. They immediately recognised this name as +belonging to one of their ancient neighbours. The death of the wife and +sons, and the seduction of the only daughter by Colvill, with many +pathetic incidents connected with the fate of this daughter, were +mentioned.</p> + +<p>This intelligence induced me to inquire of Mrs. Althorpe, a sensible and +candid woman, if she were acquainted with the recent or present +situation of this family.</p> + +<p>"I cannot say much," she answered, "of my own knowledge. Since my +marriage, I am used to spend a few weeks of summer at my father's, but +am less inquisitive than I once was into the concerns of my old +neighbours. I recollect, however, when there, last year, during <i>the +fever</i>, to have heard that Sawny Mervyn had taken a second wife; that +his only son, a youth of eighteen, had thought proper to be highly +offended with his father's conduct, and treated the new mistress of the +house with insult and contempt. I should not much wonder at this, seeing +children are so apt to deem themselves unjustly treated by a second +marriage of their parent; but it was hinted that the boy's jealousy and +discontent were excited by no common cause. The new mother was not much +older than himself, had been a servant of the family, and a criminal +intimacy had subsisted between her, while in that condition, and the +son. Her marriage with his father was justly accounted by their +neighbours a most profligate and odious transaction. The son, perhaps, +had, in such a case, a right to scold, but he ought not to have carried +his anger to such extremes as have been imputed to him. He is said to +have grinned upon her with contempt, and even to have called her +<i>strumpet</i> in the presence of his father and of strangers.</p> + +<p>"It was impossible for such a family to keep together. Arthur took leave +one night to possess himself of all his father's cash, mount the best +horse in his meadow, and elope. For a time, no one knew whither he had +gone. At last, one was said to have met with him in the streets of this +city, metamorphosed from a rustic lad into a fine gentleman. Nothing +could be quicker than this change, for he left the country on a Saturday +morning, and was seen in a French frock and silk stockings, going into +Christ's Church the next day. I suppose he kept it up with a high hand, +as long as his money lasted.</p> + +<p>"My lather paid us a visit last week, and, among other country-news, +told us that Sawny Mervyn had sold his place. His wife had persuaded him +to try his fortune in the Western country. The price of his hundred +acres here would purchase a thousand there, and the man, being very +gross and ignorant, and, withal, quite a simpleton, found no difficulty +in perceiving that a thousand are ten times more than a hundred. He was +not aware that a rood of ground upon Schuylkill is tenfold better than +an acre on the Tennessee.</p> + +<p>"The woman turned out to be an artful profligate. Having sold his ground +and gotten his money, he placed it in her keeping, and she, to enjoy it +with the more security, ran away to the city; leaving him to prosecute +his journey to Kentucky moneyless and alone. Some time after, Mr. +Althorpe and I were at the play, when he pointed out to me a group of +females in an upper box, one of whom was no other than Betty Lawrence. +It was not easy to recognise, in her present gaudy trim, all flaunting +with ribbons and shining with trinkets, the same Betty who used to deal +out pecks of potatoes and superintend her basket of cantaloupes in the +Jersey market, in pasteboard bonnet and linsey petticoat. Her companions +were of the infamous class. If Arthur were still in the city, there is +no doubt that the mother and son might renew the ancient terms of their +acquaintance.</p> + +<p>"The old man, thus robbed and betrayed, sought consolation in the +bottle, of which he had been at all times over-fond. He wandered from +one tavern to another till his credit was exhausted, and then was sent +to jail, where, I believe, he is likely to continue till his death. +Such, my friend, is the history of the Mervyns."</p> + +<p>"What proof," said I, "have you of the immoral conduct of the son? Of +his mistreatment of his mother, and his elopement with his father's +horse and money?"</p> + +<p>"I have no proof but the unanimous report of Mervyn's neighbours. +Respectable and honest men have affirmed, in my hearing, that they had +been present when the boy treated his mother in the way that I have +described. I was, besides, once in company with the old man, and heard +him bitterly inveigh against his son, and charge him with the fact of +stealing his horse and money. I well remember that tears rolled from his +eyes while talking on the subject. As to his being seen in the city the +next day after his elopement, dressed in a most costly and fashionable +manner, I can doubt that as little as the rest, for he that saw him was +my father, and you, who know my father, know what credit is due to his +eyes and his word. He had seen Arthur often enough not to be mistaken, +and described his appearance with great exactness. The boy is extremely +handsome, give him his due; has dark hazel eyes, auburn hair, and very +elegant proportions. His air and gait have nothing of the clown in them. +Take away his jacket and trousers, and you have as spruce a fellow as +ever came from dancing-school or college. He is the exact picture of his +mother, and the most perfect contrast to the sturdy legs, squat figure, +and broad, unthinking, sheepish face of the father that can be imagined. +You must confess that his appearance here is a pretty strong proof of +the father's assertions. The money given for these clothes could not +possibly have been honestly acquired. It is to be presumed that they +were bought or stolen, for how else should they have been gotten?"</p> + +<p>"What was this lad's personal deportment during the life of his mother, +and before his father's second marriage?"</p> + +<p>"Very little to the credit of his heart or his intellects. Being the +youngest son, the only one who at length survived, and having a +powerful resemblance to herself, he became the mother's favourite. His +constitution was feeble, and he loved to stroll in the woods more than +to plough or sow. This idleness was much against his father's +inclination and judgment; and, indeed, it was the foundation of all his +vices. When he could be prevailed upon to do any thing it was in a +bungling manner, and so as to prove that his thoughts were fixed on any +thing except his business. When his assistance was wanted he was never +to be found at hand. They were compelled to search for him among the +rocks and bushes, and he was generally discovered sauntering along the +bank of a river, or lolling in the shade of a tree. This disposition to +inactivity and laziness, in so young a man, was very strange. Persons of +his age are rarely fond of work, but then they are addicted to company, +and sports, and exercises. They ride, or shoot, or frolic; but this +being moped away his time in solitude, never associated with other young +people, never mounted a horse but when he could not help it, and never +fired a gun or angled for a fish in his life. Some people supposed him +to be half an idiot, or, at least, not to be right in his mind; and, +indeed, his conduct was so very perverse and singular, that I do not +wonder at those who accounted for it in this way."</p> + +<p>"But surely," said I, "he had some object of pursuit. Perhaps he was +addicted to books."</p> + +<p>"Far from it. On the contrary, his aversion to school was as great as +his hatred of the plough. He never could get his lessons or bear the +least constraint. He was so much indulged by his mother at home, that +tasks and discipline of any kind were intolerable. He was a perpetual +truant; till, the master one day attempting to strike him, he ran out of +the room and never entered it more. The mother excused and countenanced +his frowardness, and the foolish father was obliged to give way. I do +not believe he had two months' schooling in his life."</p> + +<p>"Perhaps," said I, "he preferred studying by himself, and at liberty. I +have known boys endowed with great curiosity and aptitude to learning, +who never could endure set tasks, and spurned at the pedagogue and his +rod."</p> + +<p>"I have known such likewise, but this was not one of them. I know not +whence he could derive his love of knowledge or the means of acquiring +it. The family were totally illiterate. The father was a Scotch peasant, +whose ignorance was so great that he could not sign his name. His wife, +I believe, could read, and might sometimes decipher the figures in an +almanac; but that was all. I am apt to think that the son's ability was +not much greater. You might as well look for silver platters or marble +tables in his house, as for a book or a pen.</p> + +<p>"I remember calling at their house one evening in the winter before +last. It was intensely cold; and my father, who rode with me, having +business with Sawny Mervyn, we stopped a minute at his gate; and, while +the two old men were engaged in conversation, I begged leave to warm +myself by the kitchen fire. Here, in the chimney-corner, seated on a +block, I found Arthur busily engaged in <i>knitting stockings</i>! I thought +this a whimsical employment for a young active man. I told him so, for I +wanted to put him to the blush; but he smiled in my face, and answered, +without the least discomposure, 'Just as whimsical a business for a +young active woman. Pray, did you never knit a stocking?'</p> + +<p>"'Yes; but that was from necessity. Were I of a different sex, or did I +possess the strength of a man, I should rather work in my field or study +my book.'</p> + +<p>"'Rejoice that you are a woman, then, and are at liberty to pursue that +which costs least labour and demands most skill. You see, though a man, +I use your privilege, and prefer knitting yarn to threshing my brain +with a book or the barn-floor with a flail.'</p> + +<p>"'I wonder,' said I, contemptuously, 'you do not put on the petticoat as +well as handle the needle.'</p> + +<p>"'Do not wonder,' he replied; 'it is because I hate a petticoat +encumbrance as much as I love warm feet. Look there,' (offering the +stocking to my inspection:) 'is it not well done?'</p> + +<p>"I did not touch it, but sneeringly said, 'Excellent! I wonder you do +not apprentice yourself to a tailor.'</p> + +<p>"He looked at me with an air of ridiculous simplicity, and said, 'How +prone the woman is to <i>wonder</i>! You call the work excellent, and yet +<i>wonder</i> that I do not make myself a slave to improve my skill! Did you +learn needlework from seven years' squatting on a tailor's board? Had +you come to me, I would have taught you in a day.'</p> + +<p>"'I was taught at school.'</p> + +<p>"'And paid your instructor?'</p> + +<p>"'To-be-sure.'</p> + +<p>"''Twas liberty and money thrown away. Send your sister, if you have +one, to me, and I will teach her without either rod or wages. Will you?'</p> + +<p>"'You have an old and a violent antipathy, I believe, to any thing like +a school.'</p> + +<p>"'True. It was early and violent. Had not you?'</p> + +<p>"'No. I went to school with pleasure; for I thought to read and write +were accomplishments of some value.'</p> + +<p>"'Indeed? Then I misunderstood you just now. I thought you said that, +had you the strength of a man, you should prefer the plough and the book +to the needle. Whence, supposing you a female, I inferred that you had a +woman's love for the needle and a fool's hatred of books.'</p> + +<p>"My father calling me from without, I now made a motion to go. 'Stay,' +continued he, with great earnestness, throwing aside his +knitting-apparatus, and beginning in great haste to pull off his +stockings. 'Draw these stockings over your shoes. They will save your +feet from the snow while walking to your horse.'</p> + +<p>"Half angry, and half laughing, I declined the offer. He had drawn them +off, however, and, holding them in his hand, 'Be persuaded,' said he; +'only lift your feet, and I will slip them on in a trice.'</p> + +<p>"Finding me positive in my refusal, he dropped the stockings; and, +without more ado, caught me up in his arms, rushed out of the room, and, +running barefoot through the snow, set me fairly on my horse. All was +done in a moment, and before I had time to reflect on his intentions. He +then seized my hand, and, kissing it with great fervour, exclaimed, 'A +thousand thanks to you for not accepting my stockings. You have thereby +saved yourself and me the time and toil of drawing on and drawing off. +Since you have taught me to wonder, let me practise the lesson in +wondering at your folly, in wearing worsted shoes and silk stockings at +a season like this. Take my counsel, and turn your silk to worsted and +your worsted to leather. Then may you hope for warm feet and dry. What! +Leave the gate without a blessing on your counsellor?'</p> + +<p>"I spurred my horse into a gallop, glad to escape from so strange a +being. I could give you many instances of behaviour equally singular, +and which betrayed a mixture of shrewdness and folly, of kindness and +impudence, which justified, perhaps, the common notion that his +intellects were unsound. Nothing was more remarkable than his +impenetrability to ridicule and censure. You might revile him for hours, +and he would listen to you with invincible composure. To awaken anger or +shame in him was impossible. He would answer, but in such a way as to +show him totally unaware of your true meaning. He would afterwards talk +to you with all the smiling affability and freedom of an old friend. +Every one despised him for his idleness and folly, no less conspicuous +in his words than his actions; but no one feared him, and few were angry +with him, till after the detection of his commerce with <i>Betty</i>, and his +inhuman treatment of his father."</p> + +<p>"Have you good reasons for supposing him to have been illicitly +connected with that girl?"</p> + +<p>"Yes. Such as cannot be discredited. It would not be proper for me to +state these proofs. Nay, he never denied it. When reminded, on one +occasion, of the inference which every impartial person would draw from +appearances, he acknowledged, with his usual placid effrontery, that the +inference was unavoidable. He even mentioned other concurring and +contemporary incidents, which had eluded the observation of his +censurer, and which added still more force to the conclusion. He was +studious to palliate the vices of this woman, as long as he was her only +paramour; but, after her marriage with his father, the tone was changed. +He confessed that she was tidy, notable, industrious; but, then, she +was a prostitute. When charged with being instrumental in making her +such, and when his companions dwelt upon the depravity of reviling her +for vices which she owed to him, 'True,' he would say, 'there is +depravity and folly in the conduct you describe. Make me out, if you +please, to be a villain. What then? I was talking, not of myself, but of +Betty. Still this woman is a prostitute. If it were I that made her +such, with more confidence may I make the charge. But think not that I +blame Betty. Place me in her situation, and I should have acted just so. +I should have formed just such notions of my interest, and pursued it by +the same means. Still, say I, I would fain have a different woman for my +father's wife, and the mistress of his family.'"</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XXVI.</h3> + + +<p>This conversation was interrupted by a messenger from my wife, who +desired my return immediately. I had some hopes of meeting with Mervyn, +some days having now elapsed since his parting from us, and not being +conscious of any extraordinary motives for delay. It was Wortley, +however, and not Mervyn, to whom I was called.</p> + +<p>My friend came to share with me his suspicions and inquietudes +respecting Welbeck and Mervyn. An accident had newly happened which had +awakened these suspicions afresh. He desired a patient audience while he +explained them to me. These were his words:—</p> + +<p>"To-day a person presented me a letter from a mercantile friend at +Baltimore. I easily discerned the bearer to be a sea-captain. He was a +man of sensible and pleasing aspect, and was recommended to my +friendship and counsel in the letter which he brought. The letter +stated, that a man, by name Amos Watson, by profession a mariner, and a +resident at Baltimore, had disappeared in the summer of last year, in a +mysterious and incomprehensible manner. He was known to have arrived in +this city from Jamaica, and to have intended an immediate journey to his +family, who lived at Baltimore; but he never arrived there, and no trace +of his existence has since been discovered. The bearer had come to +investigate, if possible, the secret of his fate, and I was earnestly +entreated to afford him all the assistance and advice in my power, in +the prosecution of his search. I expressed my willingness to serve the +stranger, whose name was Williams; and, after offering him entertainment +at my house, which was thankfully accepted, he proceeded to unfold to +me the particulars of this affair. His story was this.</p> + +<p>"'On the 20th of last June, I arrived,' said he, 'from the West Indies, +in company with Captain Watson. I commanded the ship in which he came as +a passenger, his own ship being taken and confiscated by the English. We +had long lived in habits of strict friendship, and I loved him for his +own sake, as well as because he had married my sister. We landed in the +morning, and went to dine with Mr. Keysler, since dead, but who then +lived in Water Street. He was extremely anxious to visit his family, +and, having a few commissions to perform in the city, which would not +demand more than a couple of hours, he determined to set out next +morning in the stage. Meanwhile, I had engagements which required me to +repair with the utmost expedition to New York. I was scarcely less +anxious than my brother to reach Baltimore, where my friends also +reside; but there was an absolute necessity of going eastward. I +expected, however, to return hither in three days, and then to follow +Watson home. Shortly after dinner we parted; he to execute his +commissions, and I to embark in the mail-stage.</p> + +<p>"'In the time prefixed I returned. I arrived early in the morning, and +prepared to depart again at noon. Meanwhile, I called at Keysler's. This +is an old acquaintance of Watson's and mine; and, in the course of talk, +he expressed some surprise that Watson had so precipitately deserted his +house. I stated the necessity there was for Watson's immediate departure +<i>southward</i>, and added, that no doubt my brother had explained this +necessity.</p> + +<p>"'Why, (said Keysler,) it is true, Captain Watson mentioned his +intention of leaving town early next day; but then he gave me reason to +expect that he would sup and lodge with me that night, whereas he has +not made his appearance since. Besides, his trunk was brought to my +house. This, no doubt, he intended to carry home with him, but here it +remains still. It is not likely that in the hurry of departure his +baggage was forgotten. Hence, I inferred that he was still in town, and +have been puzzling myself these three days with conjectures as to what +is become of him. What surprises me more is, that, on inquiring among +the few friends which he has in this city, I find them as ignorant of +his motions as myself. I have not, indeed, been wholly without +apprehensions that some accident or other has befallen him.'</p> + +<p>"'I was not a little alarmed by this intimation. I went myself, +agreeably to Keysler's directions, to Watson's friends, and made anxious +inquiries, but none of them had seen my brother since his arrival. I +endeavoured to recollect the commissions which he designed to execute, +and, if possible, to trace him to the spot where he last appeared. He +had several packets to deliver, one of which was addressed to Walter +Thetford. Him, after some inquiry, I found out, but unluckily he chanced +to be in the country. I found, by questioning a clerk, who transacted +his business in his absence, that a person, who answered the minute +description which I gave of Watson, had been there on the day on which I +parted with him, and had left papers relative to the capture of one of +Thetford's vessels by the English. This was the sum of the information +he was able to afford me.</p> + +<p>"'I then applied to three merchants for whom my brother had letters. +They all acknowledged the receipt of these letters, but they were +delivered through the medium of the post-office.</p> + +<p>"'I was extremely anxious to reach home. Urgent engagements compelled me +to go on without delay. I had already exhausted all the means of inquiry +within my reach, and was obliged to acquiesce in the belief that Watson +had proceeded homeward at the time appointed, and left, by forgetfulness +or accident, his trunk behind him. On examining the books kept at the +stage-offices, his name nowhere appeared, and no conveyance by water had +occurred during the last week. Still, the only conjecture I could form +was that he had gone homeward.</p> + +<p>"'Arriving at Baltimore, I found that Watson had not yet made his +appearance. His wife produced a letter, which, by the postmark, appeared +to have been put into the office at Philadelphia, on the morning after +our arrival, and on which he had designed to commence his journey. This +letter had been written by my brother, in my presence, but I had +dissuaded him from sending it, since the same coach that should bear the +letter was likewise to carry himself. I had seen him put it unwafered in +his pocket-book, but this letter, unaltered in any part, and containing +money which he had at first intended to enclose in it, was now conveyed +to his wife's hand. In this letter he mentioned his design of setting +out for Baltimore on the <i>twenty-first</i>, yet on that day the letter +itself had been put into the office.</p> + +<p>"'We hoped that a short time would clear up this mystery, and bring the +fugitive home; but, from that day till the present, no atom of +intelligence has been received concerning him. The yellow fever, which +quickly followed, in this city, and my own engagements, have hindered +me, till now, from coming hither and resuming the search.</p> + +<p>"'My brother was one of the most excellent of men. His wife loved him to +distraction, and, together with his children, depended for subsistence +upon his efforts. You will not, therefore, be surprised that his +disappearance excited, in us, the deepest consternation and distress; +but I have other and peculiar reasons for wishing to know his fate. I +gave him several bills of exchange on merchants of Baltimore, which I +had received in payment of my cargo, in order that they might, as soon +as possible, be presented and accepted. These have disappeared with the +bearer. There is likewise another circumstance that makes his existence +of no small value.</p> + +<p>"'There is an English family, who formerly resided in Jamaica, and +possessed an estate of great value, but who, for some years, have lived +in the neighbourhood of Baltimore. The head of this family died a year +ago, and left a widow and three daughters. The lady thought it eligible +to sell her husband's property in Jamaica, the island becoming hourly +more exposed to the chances of war and revolution, and transfer it to +the United States, where she purposes henceforth to reside. Watson had +been her husband's friend, and, his probity and disinterestedness being +well known, she intrusted him with legal powers to sell this estate. +This commission was punctually performed, and the purchase-money was +received. In order to confer on it the utmost possible security, he +rolled up four bills of exchange, drawn upon opulent, merchants of +London, in a thin sheet of lead, and, depositing this roll in a leathern +girdle, fastened it round his waist, and under his clothes; a second set +he gave to me, and a third he despatched to Mr. Keysler, by a vessel +which sailed a few days before him. On our arrival in this city, we +found that Keysler had received those transmitted to him, and which he +had been charged to keep till our arrival. They were now produced, and, +together with those which I had carried, were delivered to Watson. By +him they were joined to those in the girdle, which he still wore, +conceiving this method of conveyance to be safer than any other, and, at +the same time, imagining it needless, in so short a journey as remained +to be performed, to resort to other expedients.</p> + +<p>"'The sum which he thus bore about him was no less than ten thousand +pounds sterling. It constituted the whole patrimony of a worthy and +excellent family, and the loss of it reduces them to beggary. It is gone +with Watson, and whither Watson has gone it is impossible even to guess.</p> + +<p>"'You may now easily conceive, sir, the dreadful disasters which may be +connected with this man's fate, and with what immeasurable anxiety his +family and friends have regarded his disappearance. That he is alive can +scarcely be believed; for in what situation could he be placed in which +he would not be able and willing to communicate some tidings of his fate +to his family?</p> + +<p>"'Our grief has been unspeakably aggravated by the suspicions which Mrs. +Maurice and her friends have allowed themselves to admit. They do not +scruple to insinuate that Watson, tempted by so great a prize, has +secretly embarked for England, in order to obtain payment for these +bills and retain the money for his own use.</p> + +<p>"'No man was more impatient of poverty than Watson, but no man's honesty +was more inflexible. He murmured at the destiny that compelled him to +sacrifice his ease, and risk his life upon the ocean in order to +procure the means of subsistence; and all the property which he had +spent the best part of his life in collecting had just been ravished +away from him by the English; but, if he had yielded to this temptation +at any time, it would have been on receiving these bills at Jamaica. +Instead of coming hither, it would have been infinitely more easy and +convenient to have embarked directly for London; but none who thoroughly +knew him can, for a moment, harbour a suspicion of his truth.</p> + +<p>"'If he be dead, and if the bills are not to be recovered, yet to +ascertain this will, at least, serve to vindicate his character. As long +as his fate is unknown, his fame will be loaded with the most flagrant +imputations, and, if these bills be ever paid in London, these +imputations will appear to be justified. If he has been robbed, the +robber will make haste to secure the payment, and the Maurices may not +unreasonably conclude that the robber was Watson himself.' Many other +particulars were added by the stranger, to show the extent of the evils +flowing from the death of his brother, and the loss of the papers which +he carried with him.</p> + +<p>"I was greatly at a loss," continued Wortley, "what directions or advice +to afford this man. Keysler, as you know, died early of the pestilence; +but Keysler was the only resident in this city with whom Williams had +any acquaintance. On mentioning the propriety of preventing the sale of +these bills in America, by some public notice, he told me that this +caution had been early taken; and I now remembered seeing the +advertisement, in which the bills had been represented as having been +lost or stolen in this city, and a reward of a thousand dollars was +offered to any one who should restore them. This caution had been +published in September, in all the trading-towns from Portsmouth to +Savannah, but had produced no satisfaction.</p> + +<p>"I accompanied Williams to the mayor's office, in hopes of finding in +the records of his proceedings, during the last six months, some traces +of Watson; but neither these records nor the memory of the magistrate +afforded us any satisfaction. Watson's friends had drawn up, likewise, +a description of the person and dress of the fugitive, an account of the +incidents attending his disappearance, and of the papers which he had in +his possession, with the manner in which these papers had been secured. +These had been already published in the Southern newspapers, and have +been just reprinted in our own. As the former notice had availed +nothing, this second expedient was thought necessary to be employed.</p> + +<p>"After some reflection, it occurred to me that it might be proper to +renew the attempt which Williams had made to trace the footsteps of his +friend to the moment of his final disappearance. He had pursued Watson +to Thetford's; but Thetford himself had not been seen, and he had been +contented with the vague information of his clerk. Thetford and his +family, including his clerk, had perished, and it seemed as if this +source of information was dried up. It was possible, however, that old +Thetford might have some knowledge of his nephew's transactions, by +which some light might chance to be thrown upon this obscurity. I +therefore called on him, but found him utterly unable to afford me the +light that I wished. My mention of the packet which Watson had brought +to Thetford, containing documents respecting the capture of a certain +ship, reminded him of the injuries which he had received from Welbeck, +and excited him to renew his menaces and imputations on that wretch. +Having somewhat exhausted this rhetoric, he proceeded to tell me what +connection there was between the remembrance of his injuries and the +capture of this vessel.</p> + +<p>"This vessel and its cargo were, in fact, the property of Welbeck. They +had been sent to a good market, and had been secured by an adequate +insurance. The value of this ship and cargo, and the validity of the +policy, he had taken care to ascertain by means of his two nephews, one +of whom had gone out supercargo. This had formed his inducement to lend +his three notes to Welbeck, in exchange for three other notes, the whole +amount of which included the <i>equitable interest</i> of <i>five per cent. per +month</i> on his own loan. For the payment of these notes he by no means +relied, as the world foolishly imagined, on the seeming opulence and +secret funds of Welbeck. These were illusions too gross to have any +influence on him. He was too old a bird to be decoyed into the net by +<i>such</i> chaff. No; his nephew, the supercargo, would of course receive +the produce of the voyage, and so much of this produce as would pay his +debt he had procured the owner's authority to intercept its passage from +the pocket of his nephew to that of Welbeck. In case of loss, he had +obtained a similar security upon the policy. Jamieson's proceedings had +been the same with his own, and no affair in which he had ever engaged +had appeared to be more free from hazard than this. Their calculations, +however, though plausible, were defeated. The ship was taken and +condemned, for a cause which rendered the insurance ineffectual.</p> + +<p>"I bestowed no time in reflecting on this tissue of extortions and +frauds, and on that course of events which so often disconcerts the +stratagems of cunning. The names of Welbeck and Watson were thus +associated together, and filled my thoughts with restlessness and +suspicion. Welbeck was capable of any weakness. It was possible an +interview had happened between these men, and that the fugitive had been +someway instrumental in Watson's fate. These thoughts were mentioned to +Williams, whom the name of Welbeck threw into the utmost perturbation. +On finding that one of this name had dwelt in this city, and that he had +proved a villain, he instantly admitted the most dreary forebodings.</p> + +<p>"'I have heard,' said Williams, 'the history of this Welbeck a score of +times from my brother. There formerly subsisted a very intimate +connection between them. My brother had conferred, upon one whom he +thought honest, innumerable benefits; but all his benefits had been +repaid by the blackest treachery. Welbeck's character and guilt had +often been made the subject of talk between us, but, on these occasions, +my brother's placid and patient temper forsook him. His grief for the +calamities which had sprung from this man, and his desire of revenge, +burst all bounds, and transported him to a pitch of temporary frenzy. I +often inquired in what manner he intended to act if a meeting should +take place between them. He answered, that doubtless he should act like +a maniac, in defiance of his sober principles, and of the duty which he +owed his family.</p> + +<p>"'What! (said I,) would you stab or pistol him?</p> + +<p>"'No. I was not born for an assassin. I would upbraid him in such terms +as the furious moment might suggest, and then challenge him to a +meeting, from which either he or I should not part with life. I would +allow time for him to make his peace with Heaven, and for me to blast +his reputation upon earth, and to make such provision for my possible +death as duty and discretion would prescribe.</p> + +<p>"'Now, nothing is more probable than that Welbeck and my brother have +met. Thetford would of course mention his name and interest in the +captured ship, and hence the residence of this detested being in this +city would be made known. Their meeting could not take place without +some dreadful consequence. I am fearful that to that meeting we must +impute the disappearance of my brother.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XXVII.</h3> + + +<p>"Here was new light thrown upon the character of Welbeck, and new food +administered to my suspicions. No conclusion could be more plausible +than that which Williams had drawn; but how should it be rendered +certain? Walter Thetford, or some of his family, had possibly been +witnesses of something, which, added to our previous knowledge, might +strengthen or prolong that clue, one end of which seemed now to be put +into our hands; but Thetford's father-in-law was the only one of his +family, who, by seasonable flight from the city, had escaped the +pestilence. To him, who still resided in the country, I repaired with +all speed, accompanied by Williams.</p> + +<p>"The old man, being reminded, by a variety of circumstances, of the +incidents of that eventful period, was, at length, enabled to relate +that he had been present at the meeting which took place between Watson +and his son Walter, when certain packets were delivered by the former, +relative, as he quickly understood, to the condemnation of a ship in +which Thomas Thetford had gone supercargo. He had noticed some emotion +of the stranger, occasioned by his son's mentioning the concern which +Welbeck had in the vessel. He likewise remembered the stranger's +declaring his intention of visiting Welbeck, and requesting Walter to +afford him directions to his house.</p> + +<p>"'Next morning at the breakfast-table,' continued the old man, 'I +adverted to yesterday's incidents, and asked my son how Welbeck had +borne the news of the loss of his ship. "He bore it," said Walter, "as a +man of his wealth ought to bear so trivial a loss. But there was +something very strange in his behaviour," says my son, "when I mentioned +the name of the captain who brought the papers; and, when I mentioned +the captain's design of paying him a visit, he stared upon me, for a +moment, as if he were frighted out of his wits, and then, snatching up +his hat, ran furiously out of the house." This was all my son said upon +that occasion; but, as I have since heard, it was on that very night +that Welbeck absconded from his creditors.'</p> + +<p>"I have this moment returned from this interview with old Thetford. I +come to you, because I thought it possible that Mervyn, agreeably to +your expectations, had returned, and I wanted to see the lad once more. +My suspicions with regard to him have been confirmed, and a warrant was +this day issued for apprehending him as Welbeck's accomplice."</p> + +<p>I was startled by this news. "My friend," said I, "be cautious how you +act, I beseech you. You know not in what evils you may involve the +innocent. Mervyn I know to be blameless; but Welbeck is indeed a +villain. The latter I shall not be sorry to see brought to justice; but +the former, instead of meriting punishment, is entitled to rewards."</p> + +<p>"So you believe, on the mere assertion of the boy, perhaps, his +plausible lies might produce the same effect upon me; but I must stay +till he thinks proper to exert his skill. The suspicions to which he is +exposed will not easily be obviated; but, if he has any thing to say in +his defence, his judicial examination will afford him the suitable +opportunity. Why are you so much afraid to subject his innocence to this +test? It was not till you heard his tale that your own suspicions were +removed. Allow me the same privilege of unbelief.</p> + +<p>"But you do me wrong, in deeming me the cause of his apprehension. It is +Jamieson and Thetford's work, and they have not proceeded on shadowy +surmises and the impulses of mere revenge. Facts have come to light of +which you are wholly unaware, and which, when known to you, will conquer +even your incredulity as to the guilt of Mervyn."</p> + +<p>"Facts? Let me know them, I beseech you. If Mervyn has deceived me, +there is an end to my confidence in human nature. All limits to +dissimulation, and all distinctness between vice and virtue, will be +effaced. No man's word, nor force of collateral evidence, shall weigh +with me a hair."</p> + +<p>"It was time," replied my friend, "that your confidence in smooth +features and fluent accents should have ended long ago. Till I gained +from my present profession some knowledge of the world, a knowledge +which was not gained in a moment, and has not cost a trifle, I was +equally wise in my own conceit; and, in order to decide upon the truth +of any one's pretensions, needed only a clear view of his face and a +distinct hearing of his words. My folly, in that respect, was only to be +cured, however, by my own experience, and I suppose your credulity will +yield to no other remedy. These are the facts:—</p> + +<p>"Mrs. Wentworth, the proprietor of the house in which Welbeck lived, has +furnished some intelligence respecting Mervyn, whose truth cannot be +doubted, and which furnishes the strongest evidence of a conspiracy +between this lad and his employer. It seems that, some years since, a +nephew of this lady left his father's family clandestinely, and has not +been heard of since. This nephew was intended to inherit her fortunes, +and her anxieties and inquiries respecting him have been endless and +incessant. These, however, have been fruitless. Welbeck, knowing these +circumstances, and being desirous of substituting a girl whom he had +moulded for his purpose, in place of the lost youth, in the affections +of the lady while living, and in her testament when dead, endeavoured to +persuade her that the youth had died in some foreign country. For this +end, Mervyn was to personate a kinsman of Welbeck who had just arrived +from Europe, and who had been a witness of her nephew's death. A story +was, no doubt, to be contrived, where truth should be copied with the +most exquisite dexterity; and, the lady being prevailed upon to believe +the story, the way was cleared for accomplishing the remainder of the +plot.</p> + +<p>"In due time, and after the lady's mind had been artfully prepared by +Welbeck, the pupil made his appearance; and, in a conversation full of +studied ambiguities, assured the lady that her nephew was dead. For the +present he declined relating the particulars of his death, and displayed +a constancy and intrepidity in resisting her entreaties that would have +been admirable in a better cause. Before she had time to fathom this +painful mystery, Welbeck's frauds were in danger of detection, and he +and his pupil suddenly disappeared.</p> + +<p>"While the plot was going forward, there occurred an incident which the +plotters had not foreseen or precluded, and which possibly might have +created some confusion or impediment in their designs. A bundle was +found one night in the street, consisting of some coarse clothes, and +containing, in the midst of it, the miniature portrait of Mrs. +Wentworth's nephew. It fell into the hands of one of that lady's +friends, who immediately despatched the bundle to her. Mervyn, in his +interview with this lady, spied the portrait on the mantel-piece. Led by +some freak of fancy, or some web of artifice, he introduced the talk +respecting her nephew, by boldly claiming it as his; but, when the mode +in which it had been found was mentioned, he was disconcerted and +confounded, and precipitately withdrew.</p> + +<p>"This conduct, and the subsequent flight of the lad, afforded ground +enough to question the truth of his intelligence respecting her nephew; +but it has since been confuted, in a letter just received from her +brother in England. In this letter, she is informed that her nephew had +been seen by one who knew him well, in Charleston; that some intercourse +took place between the youth and the bearer of the news, in the course +of which the latter had persuaded the nephew to return to his family, +and that the youth had given some tokens of compliance. The +letter-writer, who was father to the fugitive, had written to certain +friends at Charleston, entreating them to use their influence with the +runaway to the same end, and, at any rate, to cherish and protect him. +Thus, I hope you will admit that the duplicity of Mervyn is +demonstrated."</p> + +<p>"The facts which you have mentioned," said I, after some pause, "partly +correspond with Mervyn's story; but the last particular is +irreconcilably repugnant to it. Now, for the first time, I begin to feel +that my confidence is shaken. I feel my mind bewildered and distracted +by the multitude of new discoveries which have just taken place. I want +time to revolve them slowly, to weigh them accurately, and to estimate +their consequences fully. I am afraid to speak; fearing that, in the +present trouble of my thoughts, I may say something which I may +afterwards regret, I want a counsellor; but you, Wortley, are unfit for +the office. Your judgment is unfurnished with the same materials; your +sufferings have soured your humanity and biassed your candour. The only +one qualified to divide with me these cares, and aid in selecting the +best mode of action, is my wife. She is mistress of Mervyn's history; an +observer of his conduct during his abode with us; and is hindered, by +her education and temper, from deviating into rigour and malevolence. +Will you pardon me, therefore, if I defer commenting on your narrative +till I have had an opportunity of reviewing it and comparing it with my +knowledge of the lad, collected from himself and from my own +observation?"</p> + +<p>Wortley could not but admit the justice of my request, and, after some +desultory conversation, we parted. I hastened to communicate to my wife +the various intelligence which I had lately received. Mrs. Althorpe's +portrait of the Mervyns contained lineaments which the summary detail of +Arthur did not enable us fully to comprehend. The treatment which the +youth is said to have given to his father; the illicit commerce that +subsisted between him and his father's wife; the pillage of money and +his father's horse, but ill accorded with the tale which we had heard, +and disquieted our minds with doubts, though far from dictating our +belief.</p> + +<p>What, however, more deeply absorbed our attention, was the testimony of +Williams and of Mrs. Wentworth. That which was mysterious and +inscrutable to Wortley and the friends of Watson was luminous to us. The +coincidence between the vague hints laboriously collected by these +inquirers, and the narrative of Mervyn, afforded the most cogent +attestation of the truth of that narrative.</p> + +<p>Watson had vanished from all eyes, but the spot where rested his remains +was known to us. The girdle spoken of by Williams would not be suspected +to exist by his murderer. It was unmolested, and was doubtless buried +with him. That which was so earnestly sought, and which constituted the +subsistence of the Maurices, would probably be found adhering to his +body. What conduct was incumbent upon me who possessed this knowledge?</p> + +<p>It was just to restore these bills to their true owner; but how could +this be done without hazardous processes and tedious disclosures? To +whom ought these disclosures to be made? By what authority or agency +could these half-decayed limbs be dug up, and the lost treasure be taken +from amidst the horrible corruption in which it was immersed?</p> + +<p>This ought not to be the act of a single individual. This act would +entangle him in a maze of perils and suspicions, of concealments and +evasions, from which he could not hope to escape with his reputation +inviolate. The proper method was through the agency of the law. It is to +this that Mervyn must submit his conduct. The story which he told to me +he must tell to the world. Suspicions have fixed themselves upon him, +which allow him not the privilege of silence and obscurity. While he +continued unknown and unthought of, the publication of his story would +only give unnecessary birth to dangers; but now dangers are incurred +which it may probably contribute to lessen, if not to remove.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile the return of Mervyn to the city was anxiously expected. Day +after day passed, and no tidings were received. I had business of an +urgent nature which required my presence in Jersey, but which, in the +daily expectation of the return of my young friend, I postponed a week +longer than rigid discretion allowed. At length I was obliged to comply +with the exigence, and left the city, but made such arrangements that I +should be apprized by my wife of Mervyn's return with all practicable +expedition.</p> + +<p>These arrangements were superfluous, for my business was despatched, and +my absence at an end, before the youth had given us any tokens of his +approach. I now remembered the warnings of Wortley, and his assertions +that Mervyn had withdrawn himself forever from our view. The event had +hitherto unwelcomely coincided with these predictions, and a thousand +doubts and misgivings were awakened.</p> + +<p>One evening, while preparing to shake off gloomy thoughts by a visit to +a friend, some one knocked at my door, and left a billet containing +these words:—</p> + +<p>"<i>Dr. Stevens is requested to come immediately to the Debtors' +Apartments in Prune Street.</i>"</p> + +<p>This billet was without signature. The handwriting was unknown, and the +precipitate departure of the bearer left me wholly at a loss with +respect to the person of the writer, or the end for which my presence +was required. This uncertainty only hastened my compliance with the +summons.</p> + +<p>The evening was approaching,—a time when the prison-doors are +accustomed to be shut and strangers to be excluded. This furnished an +additional reason for despatch. As I walked swiftly along, I revolved +the possible motives that might have prompted this message. A conjecture +was soon formed, which led to apprehension and inquietude.</p> + +<p>One of my friends, by name Carlton, was embarrassed with debts which he +was unable to discharge. He had lately been menaced with arrest by a +creditor not accustomed to remit any of his claims. I dreaded that this +catastrophe had now happened, and called to mind the anguish with which +this untoward incident would overwhelm his family. I knew his incapacity +to take away the claim of his creditor by payment, or to soothe him into +clemency by supplication.</p> + +<p>So prone is the human mind to create for itself distress, that I was not +aware of the uncertainty of this evil till I arrived at the prison. I +checked myself at the moment when I opened my lips to utter the name of +my friend, and was admitted without particular inquiries. I supposed +that he by whom I had been summoned hither would meet me in the common +room.</p> + +<p>The apartment was filled with pale faces and withered forms. The marks +of negligence and poverty were visible in all; but few betrayed, in +their features or gestures, any symptoms of concern on account of their +condition. Ferocious gayety, or stupid indifference, seemed to sit upon +every brow. The vapour from a heated stove, mingled with the fumes of +beer and tallow that were spilled upon it, and with the tainted breath +of so promiscuous a crowd, loaded the stagnant atmosphere. At my first +transition from the cold and pure air without, to this noxious element, +I found it difficult to breathe. A moment, however, reconciled me to my +situation, and I looked anxiously round to discover some face which I +knew.</p> + +<p>Almost every mouth was furnished with a cigar, and every hand with a +glass of porter. Conversation, carried on with much emphasis of tone and +gesture, was not wanting. Sundry groups, in different corners, were +beguiling the tedious hours at whist. Others, unemployed, were strolling +to and fro, and testified their vacancy of thought and care by humming +or whistling a tune.</p> + +<p>I fostered the hope that my prognostics had deceived me. This hope was +strengthened by reflecting that the billet received was written in a +different hand from that of my friend. Meanwhile I continued my search. +Seated on a bench, silent and aloof from the crowd, his eyes fixed upon +the floor, and his face half concealed by his hand, a form was at length +discovered which verified all my conjectures and fears. Carlton was he.</p> + +<p>My heart drooped and my tongue faltered at this sight. I surveyed him +for some minutes in silence. At length, approaching the bench on which +he sat, I touched his hand and awakened him from his reverie. He looked +up. A momentary gleam of joy and surprise was succeeded by a gloom +deeper than before.</p> + +<p>It was plain that my friend needed consolation. He was governed by an +exquisite sensibility to disgrace. He was impatient of constraint. He +shrunk, with fastidious abhorrence, from the contact of the vulgar and +the profligate. His constitution was delicate and feeble. Impure airs, +restraint from exercise, unusual aliment, unwholesome or incommodious +accommodations, and perturbed thoughts, were, at any time, sufficient to +generate disease and to deprive him of life.</p> + +<p>To these evils he was now subjected. He had no money wherewith to +purchase food. He had been dragged hither in the morning. He had not +tasted a morsel since his entrance. He had not provided a bed on which +to lie; or inquired in what room, or with what companions, the night was +to be spent.</p> + +<p>Fortitude was not among my friend's qualities. He was more prone to +shrink from danger than encounter it, and to yield to the flood rather +than sustain it; but it is just to observe that his anguish, on the +present occasion, arose not wholly from selfish considerations. His +parents were dead, and two sisters were dependent on him for support. +One of these was nearly of his own age. The other was scarcely emerged +from childhood. There was an intellectual as well as a personal +resemblance between my friend and his sisters. They possessed his +physical infirmities, his vehement passions, and refinements of taste; +and the misery of his condition was tenfold increased, by reflecting on +the feelings which would be awakened in them by the knowledge of his +state, and the hardships to which the loss of his succour would expose +them.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XXVIII.</h3> + + +<p>It was not in my power to release my friend by the payment of his debt; +but, by contracting with the keeper of the prison for his board, I could +save him from famine; and, by suitable exertions, could procure him +lodging as convenient as the time would admit. I could promise to +console and protect his sisters, and, by cheerful tones and frequent +visits, dispel some part of the evil which encompassed him.</p> + +<p>After the first surprise had subsided, he inquired by what accident this +meeting had been produced. Conscious of my incapacity to do him any +essential service, and unwilling to make me a partaker in his miseries, +he had forborne to inform me of his condition.</p> + +<p>This assurance was listened to with some wonder. I showed him the +billet. It had not been written by him. He was a stranger to the +penmanship. None but the attorney and officer were apprized of his fate. +It was obvious to conclude, that this was the interposition of some +friend, who, knowing my affection for Carlton, had taken this mysterious +method of calling me to his succour.</p> + +<p>Conjectures as to the author and motives of this inter position were +suspended by more urgent considerations. I requested an interview with +the keeper, and inquired how Carlton could be best accommodated.</p> + +<p>He said that all his rooms were full but one, which, in consequence of +the dismission of three persons in the morning, had at present but one +tenant. This person had lately arrived, was sick, and had with him, at +this time, one of his friends. Carlton might divide the chamber with +this person. No doubt his consent would be readily given; though this +arrangement, being the best, must take place whether he consented or +not.</p> + +<p>This consent I resolved immediately to seek, and, for that purpose, +desired to be led to the chamber. The door of the apartment was shut. I +knocked for admission. It was instantly opened, and I entered. The first +person who met my view was—Arthur Mervyn.</p> + +<p>I started with astonishment. Mervyn's countenance betrayed nothing but +satisfaction at the interview. The traces of fatigue and anxiety gave +place to tenderness and joy. It readily occurred to me that Mervyn was +the writer of the note which I had lately received. To meet him within +these walls, and at this time, was the most remote and undesirable of +all contingencies. The same hour had thus made me acquainted with the +kindred and unwelcome fate of two beings whom I most loved.</p> + +<p>I had scarcely time to return his embrace, when, taking my hand, he led +me to a bed that stood in one corner. There was stretched upon it one +whom a second glance enabled me to call by his name, though I had never +before seen him. The vivid portrait which Mervyn had drawn was +conspicuous in the sunken and haggard visage before me. This face had, +indeed, proportions and lines which could never be forgotten or +mistaken. Welbeck, when once seen or described, was easily distinguished +from the rest of mankind. He had stronger motives than other men for +abstaining from guilt, the difficulty of concealment or disguise being +tenfold greater in him than in others, by reason of the indelible and +eye-attracting marks which nature had set upon him.</p> + +<p>He was pallid and emaciated. He did not open his eyes on my entrance. He +seemed to be asleep; but, before I had time to exchange glances with +Mervyn, or to inquire into the nature of the scene, he awoke. On seeing +me he started, and cast a look of upbraiding on my companion. The latter +comprehended his emotion, and endeavoured to appease him.</p> + +<p>"This person," said he, "is my friend. He is likewise a physician; and, +perceiving your state to require medical assistance, I ventured to send +for him."</p> + +<p>Welbeck replied, in a contemptuous and indignant tone, "Thou mistakest +my condition, boy. My disease lies deeper than his scrutiny will ever +reach. I had hoped thou wert gone. Thy importunities are well meant, but +they aggravate my miseries."</p> + +<p>He now rose from the bed, and continued, in a firm and resolute tone, +"You are intruders into this apartment. It is mine, and I desire to be +left alone."</p> + +<p>Mervyn returned, at first, no answer to this address. He was immersed in +perplexity. At length, raising his eyes from the floor, he said, "My +intentions are indeed honest, and I am grieved that I want the power of +persuasion. To-morrow, perhaps, I may reason more cogently with your +despair, or your present mood may be changed. To aid my own weakness I +will entreat the assistance of this friend."</p> + +<p>These words roused a new spirit in Welbeck. His confusion and anger +increased. His tongue faltered as he exclaimed, "Good God! what mean +you? Headlong and rash as you are, you will not share with this person +your knowledge of me?" Here he checked himself, conscious that the words +he had already uttered tended to the very end which he dreaded. This +consciousness, added to the terror of more ample disclosures, which the +simplicity and rectitude of Mervyn might prompt him to make, chained up +his tongue, and covered him with dismay.</p> + +<p>Mervyn was not long in answering:—"I comprehend your fears and your +wishes. I am bound to tell you the truth. To this person your story has +already been told. Whatever I have witnessed under your roof, whatever I +have heard from your lips, have been faithfully disclosed to him."</p> + +<p>The countenance of Welbeck now betrayed a mixture of incredulity and +horror. For a time his utterance was stifled by his complicated +feelings:—</p> + +<p>"It cannot be. So enormous a deed is beyond thy power. Thy qualities are +marvellous. Every new act of thine outstrips the last, and belies the +newest calculations. But this—this perfidy exceeds—this outrage upon +promises, this violation of faith, this blindness to the future, is +incredible." There he stopped; while his looks seemed to call upon +Mervyn for a contradiction of his first assertion.</p> + +<p>"I know full well how inexpiably stupid or wicked my act will appear to +you, but I will not prevaricate or lie. I repeat, that every thing is +known to him. Your birth; your early fortunes; the incidents at +Charleston and Wilmington; your treatment of the brother and sister; +your interview with Watson, and the fatal issue of that interview—I +have told him all, just as it was told to me."</p> + +<p>Here the shock that was felt by Welbeck overpowered his caution and his +strength. He sunk upon the side of the bed. His air was still +incredulous, and he continued to gaze upon Mervyn. He spoke in a tone +less vehement:—</p> + +<p>"And hast thou then betrayed me? Hast thou shut every avenue to my +return to honour? Am I known to be a seducer and assassin? To have +meditated all crimes, and to have perpetrated the worst?</p> + +<p>"Infamy and death are my portion. I know they are reserved for me; but I +did not think to receive them at thy hands, that under that innocent +guise there lurked a heart treacherous and cruel. But go; leave me to +myself. This stroke has exterminated my remnant of hope. Leave me to +prepare my neck for the halter, and my lips for this last and bitterest +cup."</p> + +<p>Mervyn struggled with his tears, and replied, "All this was foreseen, +and all this I was prepared to endure. My friend and I will withdraw, as +you wish; but to-morrow I return; not to vindicate my faith or my +humanity; not to make you recant your charges, or forgive the faults +which I seem to have committed, but to extricate you from your present +evil, or to arm you with fortitude."</p> + +<p>So saying, he led the way out of the room. I followed him in silence. +The strangeness and abruptness of this scene left me no power to assume +a part in it. I looked on with new and indescribable sensations. I +reached the street before my recollection was perfectly recovered. I +then reflected on the purpose that had led me to Welbeck's chamber. This +purpose was yet unaccomplished. I desired Mervyn to linger a moment +while I returned into the house. I once more inquired for the keeper, +and told him I should leave to him the province of acquainting Welbeck +with the necessity of sharing his apartment with a stranger. I speedily +rejoined Mervyn in the street.</p> + +<p>I lost no time in requiring an explanation of the scene that I had +witnessed. "How became you once more the companion of Welbeck? Why did +you not inform me by letter of your arrival at Malverton, and of what +occurred during your absence? What is the fate of Mr. Hadwin and of +Wallace?"</p> + +<p>"Alas!" said he, "I perceive that, though I have written, you have never +received my letters. The tale of what has occurred since we parted is +long and various. I am not only willing but eager to communicate the +story; but this is no suitable place. Have patience till we reach your +house. I have involved myself in perils and embarrassments from which I +depend upon your counsel and aid to release me."</p> + +<p>I had scarcely reached my own door, when I was overtaken by a servant, +whom I knew to belong to the family in which Carlton and his sisters +resided. Her message, therefore, was readily guessed. She came, as I +expected, to inquire for my friend, who had left his home in the morning +with a stranger, and had not yet returned. His absence had occasioned +some inquietude, and his sister had sent this message to me, to procure +what information respecting the cause of his detention I was able to +give.</p> + +<p>My perplexity hindered me, for some time, from answering. I was willing +to communicate the painful truth with my own mouth. I saw the necessity +of putting an end to her suspense, and of preventing the news from +reaching her with fallacious aggravations or at an unseasonable time.</p> + +<p>I told the messenger that I had just parted with Mr. Carlton, that he +was well, and that I would speedily come and acquaint his sister with +the cause of his absence.</p> + +<p>Though burning with curiosity respecting Mervyn and Welbeck, I readily +postponed its gratification till my visit to Miss Carlton was performed. +I had rarely seen this lady; my friendship for her brother, though +ardent, having been lately formed, and chiefly matured by interviews at +my house. I had designed to introduce her to my wife, but various +accidents had hindered the execution of my purpose. Now consolation and +counsel were more needed than ever, and delay or reluctance in bestowing +it would have been, in a high degree, unpardonable.</p> + +<p>I therefore parted with Mervyn, requesting him to await my return, and +promising to perform the engagement which compelled me to leave him, +with the utmost despatch. On entering Miss Carlton's apartment, I +assumed an air of as much tranquillity as possible. I found the lady +seated at a desk, with pen in hand and parchment before her. She greeted +me with affectionate dignity, and caught from my countenance that +cheerfulness of which on my entrance she was destitute.</p> + +<p>"You come," said she, "to inform me what has made my brother a truant +to-day. Till your message was received I was somewhat anxious. This day +he usually spends in rambling through the fields; but so bleak and +stormy an atmosphere, I suppose, would prevent his excursion. I pray, +sir, what is it detains him?"</p> + +<p>To conquer my embarrassment, and introduce the subject by indirect and +cautious means, I eluded her question, and, casting an eye at the +parchment,—"How now?" said I; "this is strange employment for a lady. I +knew that my friend pursued this trade, and lived by binding fast the +bargains which others made; but I knew not that the pen was ever usurped +by his sister."</p> + +<p>"The usurpation was prompted by necessity. My brother's impatient temper +and delicate frame unfitted him for the trade. He pursued it with no +less reluctance than diligence, devoting to the task three nights in the +week, and the whole of each day. It would long ago have killed him, had +I not bethought myself of sharing his tasks. The pen was irksome and +toilsome at first, but use has made it easy, and far more eligible than +the needle, which was formerly my only tool.</p> + +<p>"This arrangement affords my brother opportunities of exercise and +recreation, without diminishing our profits; and my time, though not +less constantly, is more agreeably, as well as more lucratively, +employed than formerly."</p> + +<p>"I admire your reasoning. By this means provision is made against +untoward accidents. If sickness should disable him, you are qualified to +pursue the same means of support."</p> + +<p>At these words the lady's countenance changed. She put her hand on my +arm, and said, in a fluttering and hurried accent, "Is my brother sick?"</p> + +<p>"No. He is in perfect health. My observation was a harmless one. I am +sorry to observe your readiness to draw alarming inferences. If I were +to say that your scheme is useful to supply deficiencies, not only when +your brother is disabled by sickness, but when thrown, by some inhuman +creditor, into jail, no doubt you would perversely and hastily infer +that he is now in prison."</p> + +<p>I had scarcely ended the sentence, when the piercing eyes of the lady +were anxiously fixed upon mine. After a moment's pause, she exclaimed, +"The inference, indeed, is too plain. I know his fate. It has long been +foreseen and expected, and I have summoned up my equanimity to meet it. +Would to Heaven he may find the calamity as light as I should find it! +but I fear his too irritable spirit."</p> + +<p>When her fears were confirmed, she started out into no vehemence of +exclamation. She quickly suppressed a few tears which would not be +withheld, and listened to my narrative of what had lately occurred, with +tokens of gratitude.</p> + +<p>Formal consolation was superfluous. Her mind was indeed more fertile +than my own in those topics which take away its keenest edge from +affliction. She observed that it was far from being the heaviest +calamity which might have happened. The creditor was perhaps vincible by +arguments and supplications. If these should succeed, the disaster would +not only be removed, but that security from future molestation be +gained, to which they had for a long time been strangers.</p> + +<p>Should he be obdurate, their state was far from being hopeless. +Carlton's situation allowed him to pursue his profession. His gains +would be equal, and his expenses would not be augmented. By their mutual +industry they might hope to amass sufficient to discharge the debt at no +very remote period.</p> + +<p>What she chiefly dreaded was the pernicious influence of dejection and +sedentary labour on her brother's health. Yet this was not to be +considered as inevitable. Fortitude might be inspired by exhortation and +example, and no condition precluded us from every species of bodily +exertion. The less inclined he should prove to cultivate the means of +deliverance and happiness within his reach, the more necessary it became +for her to stimulate and fortify his resolution.</p> + +<p>If I were captivated by the charms of this lady's person and carriage, +my reverence was excited by these proofs of wisdom and energy. I +zealously promised to concur with her in every scheme she should adopt +for her own or her brother's advantage; and, after spending some hours +with her, took my leave.</p> + +<p>I now regretted the ignorance in which I had hitherto remained +respecting this lady. That she was, in an eminent degree, feminine and +lovely, was easily discovered; but intellectual weakness had been rashly +inferred from external frailty. She was accustomed to shrink from +observation, and reserve was mistaken for timidity. I called on Carlton +only when numerous engagements would allow, and when, by some accident, +his customary visits had been intermitted. On those occasions, my stay +was short, and my attention chiefly confined to her brother. I now +resolved to atone for my ancient negligence, not only by my own +assiduities, but by those of my wife.</p> + +<p>On my return home, I found Mervyn and my wife in earnest discourse. I +anticipated the shock which the sensibility of the latter would receive +from the tidings which I had to communicate respecting Carlton. I was +unwilling, and yet perceived the necessity of disclosing the truth. I +desired to bring these women, as soon as possible, to the knowledge of +each other, but the necessary prelude to this was an acquaintance with +the disaster that had happened.</p> + +<p>Scarcely had I entered the room, when Mervyn turned to me, and said, +with an air of anxiety and impatience, "Pray, my friend, have you any +knowledge of Francis Carlton?"</p> + +<p>The mention of this name by Mervyn produced some surprise. I +acknowledged my acquaintance with him.</p> + +<p>"Do you know in what situation he now is?"</p> + +<p>In answer to this question, I stated by what singular means his +situation had been made known to me, and the purpose from the +accomplishment of which I had just returned. I inquired in my turn, +"Whence originated this question?"</p> + +<p>He had overheard the name of Carlton in the prison. Two persons were +communing in a corner, and accident enabled him to catch this name, +though uttered by them in a half whisper, and to discover that the +person talked about had lately been conveyed thither.</p> + +<p>This name was not now heard for the first time. It was connected with +remembrances that made him anxious for the fate of him to whom it +belonged. In discourse with my wife, this name chanced to be again +mentioned, and his curiosity was roused afresh. I was willing to +communicate all that I knew, but Mervyn's own destiny was too remarkable +not to absorb all my attention, and I refused to discuss any other theme +till that were fully explained. He postponed his own gratification to +mine, and consented to relate the incidents that had happened from the +moment of our separation till the present.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XXIX.</h3> + + +<p>At parting with you, my purpose was to reach the abode of the Hadwins as +speedily as possible. I travelled therefore with diligence. Setting out +so early, I expected, though on foot, to reach the end of my journey +before noon. The activity of muscles is no obstacle to thought. So far +from being inconsistent with intense musing, it is, in my own case, +propitious to that state of mind.</p> + +<p>Probably no one had stronger motives for ardent meditation than I. My +second journey to the city was prompted by reasons, and attended by +incidents, that seemed to have a present existence. To think upon them +was to view, more deliberately and thoroughly, objects and persons that +still hovered in my sight. Instead of their attributes being already +seen, and their consequences at an end, it seemed as if a series of +numerous years and unintermitted contemplation were requisite to +comprehend them fully, and bring into existence their most momentous +effects.</p> + +<p>If men be chiefly distinguished from each other by the modes in which +attention is employed, either on external and sensible objects, or +merely on abstract ideas and the creatures of reflection, I may justly +claim to be enrolled in the second class. My existence is a series of +thoughts rather than of motions. Ratiocination and deduction leave my +senses unemployed. The fulness of my fancy renders my eye vacant and +inactive. Sensations do not precede and suggest, but follow and are +secondary to, the acts of my mind.</p> + +<p>There was one motive, however, which made me less inattentive to the +scene that was continually shifting before and without me than I am +wont to be. The loveliest form which I had hitherto seen was that of +Clemenza Lodi. I recalled her condition as I had witnessed it, as +Welbeck had described, and as you had painted it. The past was without +remedy; but the future was, in some degree, within our power to create +and to fashion. Her state was probably dangerous. She might already be +forlorn, beset with temptation or with anguish; or danger might only be +approaching her, and the worst evils be impending ones.</p> + +<p>I was ignorant of her state. Could I not remove this ignorance? Would +not some benefit redound to her from beneficent and seasonable +interposition?</p> + +<p>You had mentioned that her abode had lately been with Mrs. Villars, and +that this lady still resided in the country. The residence had been +sufficiently described, and I perceived that I was now approaching it. +In a short time I spied its painted roof and five chimneys through an +avenue of <i>catalpas</i>.</p> + +<p>When opposite the gate which led into this avenue, I paused. It seemed +as if this moment were to decide upon the liberty and innocence of this +being. In a moment I might place myself before her, ascertain her true +condition, and point out to her the path of honour and safety. This +opportunity might be the last. Longer delay might render interposition +fruitless.</p> + +<p>But how was I to interpose? I was a stranger to her language, and she +was unacquainted with mine. To obtain access to her, it was necessary +only to demand it. But how should I explain my views and state my wishes +when an interview was gained? And what expedient was it in my power to +propose?</p> + +<p>"Now," said I, "I perceive the value of that wealth which I have been +accustomed to despise. The power of eating and drinking, the nature and +limits of existence and physical enjoyment, are not changed or enlarged +by the increase of wealth. Our corporeal and intellectual wants are +supplied at little expense; but our own wants are the wants of others, +and that which remains, after our own necessities are obviated, it is +always easy and just to employ in relieving the necessities of others.</p> + +<p>"There are no superfluities in my store. It is not in my power to supply +this unfortunate girl with decent raiment and honest bread. I have no +house to which to conduct her. I have no means of securing her from +famine and cold.</p> + +<p>"Yet, though indigent and feeble, I am not destitute of friends and of +home. Cannot she be admitted to the same asylum to which I am now +going?" This thought was sudden and new. The more it was revolved, the +more plausible it seemed. This was not merely the sole expedient, but +the best that could have been suggested.</p> + +<p>The Hadwins were friendly, hospitable, unsuspicious. Their board, though +simple and uncouth, was wholesome and plenteous. Their residence was +sequestered and obscure, and not obnoxious to impertinent inquiries and +malignant animadversion. Their frank and ingenuous temper would make +them easy of persuasion, and their sympathies were prompt and +overflowing.</p> + +<p>"I am nearly certain," continued I, "that they will instantly afford +protection to this desolate girl. Why shall I not anticipate their +consent, and present myself to their embraces and their welcomes in her +company?"</p> + +<p>Slight reflection showed me that this precipitation was improper. +Whether Wallace had ever arrived at Malverton, whether Mr. Hadwin had +escaped infection, whether his house were the abode of security and +quiet, or a scene of desolation, were questions yet to be determined. +The obvious and best proceeding was to hasten forward, to afford the +Hadwins, if in distress, the feeble consolations of my friendship; or, +if their state were happy, to procure their concurrence to my scheme +respecting Clemenza.</p> + +<p>Actuated by these considerations, I resumed my journey. Looking forward, +I perceived a chaise and horse standing by the left-hand fence, at the +distance of some hundred yards. This object was not uncommon or strange, +and, therefore, it was scarcely noticed. When I came near, however, +methought I recognised in this carriage the same in which my +importunities had procured a seat for the languishing Wallace, in the +manner which I have formerly related.</p> + +<p>It was a crazy vehicle and old-fashioned. When once seen it could +scarcely be mistaken or forgotten. The horse was held by his bridle to a +post, but the seat was empty. My solicitude with regard to Wallace's +destiny, of which he to whom the carriage belonged might possibly afford +me some knowledge, made me stop and reflect on what measures it was +proper to pursue.</p> + +<p>The rider could not be at a great distance from this spot. His absence +would probably be short. By lingering a few minutes an interview might +be gained, and the uncertainty and suspense of some hours be thereby +precluded. I therefore waited, and the same person whom I had formerly +encountered made his appearance, in a short time, from under a copse +that skirted the road.</p> + +<p>He recognised me with more difficulty than attended my recognition of +him. The circumstances, however, of our first meeting were easily +recalled to his remembrance. I eagerly inquired when and where he had +parted with the youth who had been, on that occasion, intrusted to his +care.</p> + +<p>He answered that, on leaving the city and inhaling the purer air of the +fields and woods, Wallace had been, in a wonderful degree, invigorated +and refreshed. An instantaneous and total change appeared to have been +wrought in him. He no longer languished with fatigue or fear, but became +full of gayety and talk.</p> + +<p>The suddenness of this transition; the levity with which he related and +commented on his recent dangers and evils, excited the astonishment of +his companion, to whom he not only communicated the history of his +disease, but imparted many anecdotes of a humorous kind. Some of these +my companion repeated. I heard them with regret and dissatisfaction. +They betokened a mind vitiated by intercourse with the thoughtless and +depraved of both sexes, and particularly with infamous and profligate +women.</p> + +<p>My companion proceeded to mention that Wallace's exhilaration lasted but +for a short time, and disappeared as suddenly as it had appeared. He +was seized with deadly sickness, and insisted upon leaving the carriage, +whose movements shocked his stomach and head to an insupportable degree. +His companion was not void of apprehensions on his own account, but was +unwilling to desert him, and endeavoured to encourage him. His efforts +were vain. Though the nearest house was at the distance of some hundred +yards, and though it was probable that the inhabitants of this house +would refuse to accommodate one in his condition, yet Wallace could not +be prevailed on to proceed; and, in spite of persuasion and +remonstrance, left the carriage and threw himself on the grassy bank +beside the road.</p> + +<p>This person was not unmindful of the hazard which he incurred by contact +with a sick man. He conceived himself to have performed all that was +consistent with duty to himself and to his family; and Wallace, +persisting in affirming that, by attempting to ride farther, he should +merely hasten his death, was at length left to his own guidance.</p> + +<p>These were unexpected and mournful tidings. I had fondly imagined that +his safety was put beyond the reach of untoward accidents. Now, however, +there was reason to suppose him to have perished by a lingering and +painful disease, rendered fatal by the selfishness of mankind, by the +want of seasonable remedies, and exposure to inclement airs. Some +uncertainty, however, rested on his fate. It was my duty to remove it, +and to carry to the Hadwins no mangled and defective tale. Where, I +asked, had Wallace and his companion parted?</p> + +<p>It was about three miles farther onward. The spot, and the house within +view from the spot, were accurately described. In this house it was +possible that Wallace had sought an asylum, and some intelligence +respecting him might be gained from its inhabitants. My informant was +journeying to the city, so that we were obliged to separate.</p> + +<p>In consequence of this man's description of Wallace's deportment, and +the proofs of a dissolute and thoughtless temper which he had given, I +began to regard his death as an event less deplorable. Such a one was +unworthy of a being so devoutly pure, so ardent in fidelity and +tenderness, as Susan Hadwin. If he loved, it was probable that, in +defiance of his vows, he would seek a different companion. If he adhered +to his first engagements, his motives would be sordid, and the +disclosure of his latent defects might produce more exquisite misery to +his wife than his premature death or treacherous desertion.</p> + +<p>The preservation of this man was my sole motive for entering the +infected city, and subjecting my own life to the hazards from which my +escape may almost be esteemed miraculous. Was not the end +disproportioned to the means? Was there arrogance in believing my life a +price too great to be given for his?</p> + +<p>I was not, indeed, sorry for the past. My purpose was just, and the +means which I selected were the best my limited knowledge supplied. My +happiness should be drawn from reflecting on the equity of my +intentions. That these intentions were frustrated by the ignorance of +others, or my own, was the consequence of human frailty. Honest +purposes, though they may not bestow happiness on others, will, at +least, secure it to him who fosters them.</p> + +<p>By these reflections my regrets were dissipated, and I prepared to +rejoice alike, whether Wallace should be found to have escaped or to +have perished. The house to which I had been directed was speedily +brought into view. I inquired for the master or mistress of the mansion, +and was conducted to a lady of a plain and housewifely appearance.</p> + +<p>My curiosity was fully gratified. Wallace, whom my description easily +identified, had made his appearance at her door on the evening of the +day on which he left the city. The dread of <i>the fever</i> was descanted on +with copious and rude eloquence. I supposed her eloquence on this theme +to be designed to apologize to me for her refusing entrance to the sick +man. The peroration, however, was different. Wallace was admitted, and +suitable attention paid to his wants.</p> + +<p>Happily, the guest had nothing to struggle with but extreme weakness. +Repose, nourishing diet, and salubrious airs restored him in a short +time to health. He lingered under this roof for three weeks, and then, +without any professions of gratitude, or offers of pecuniary +remuneration, or information of the course which he determined to take, +he left them.</p> + +<p>These facts, added to that which I had previously known, threw no +advantageous light upon the character of Wallace. It was obvious to +conclude that he had gone to Malverton, and thither there was nothing to +hinder me from following him.</p> + +<p>Perhaps one of my grossest defects is a precipitate temper. I choose my +path suddenly, and pursue it with impetuous expedition. In the present +instance, my resolution was conceived with unhesitating zeal, and I +walked the faster that I might the sooner execute it. Miss Hadwin +deserved to be happy. Love was in her heart the all-absorbing sentiment. +A disappointment there was a supreme calamity. Depravity and folly must +assume the guise of virtue before it can claim her affection. This +disguise might be maintained for a time, but its detection must +inevitably come, and the sooner this detection takes place the more +beneficial it must prove.</p> + +<p>I resolved to unbosom myself, with equal and unbounded confidence, to +Wallace and his mistress. I would choose for this end, not the moment +when they were separate, but that in which they were together. My +knowledge, and the sources of my knowledge, relative to Wallace, should +be unfolded to the lady with simplicity and truth. The lover should be +present, to confute, to extenuate, or to verify the charges.</p> + +<p>During the rest of the day these images occupied the chief place in my +thoughts. The road was miry and dark, and my journey proved to be more +tedious and fatiguing than I expected. At length, just as the evening +closed, the well-known habitation appeared in view. Since my departure, +winter had visited the world, and the aspect of nature was desolate and +dreary. All around this house was vacant, negligent, forlorn. The +contrast between these appearances and those which I had noticed on my +first approach to it, when the ground and the trees were decked with +the luxuriance and vivacity of summer, was mournful, and seemed to +foretoken ill. My spirits drooped as I noticed the general inactivity +and silence.</p> + +<p>I entered, without warning, the door that led into the parlour. No face +was to be seen or voice heard. The chimney was ornamented, as in summer, +with evergreen shrubs. Though it was now the second month of frost and +snow, fire did not appear to have been lately kindled on this hearth.</p> + +<p>This was a circumstance from which nothing good could be deduced. Had +there been those to share its comforts who had shared them on former +years, this was the place and hour at which they commonly assembled. A +door on one side led, through a narrow entry, into the kitchen. I opened +this door, and passed towards the kitchen.</p> + +<p>No one was there but an old man, squatted in the chimney-corner. His +face, though wrinkled, denoted undecayed health and an unbending spirit. +A homespun coat, leathern breeches wrinkled with age, and blue yarn +hose, were well suited to his lean and shrivelled form. On his right +knee was a wooden bowl, which he had just replenished from a pipkin of +hasty pudding still smoking on the coals; and in his left hand a spoon, +which he had, at that moment, plunged into a bottle of molasses that +stood beside him.</p> + +<p>This action was suspended by my entrance. He looked up and exclaimed, +"Heyday! who's this that comes into other people's houses without so +much as saying 'by your leave'? What's thee business? Who's thee want?"</p> + +<p>I had never seen this personage before. I supposed it to be some new +domestic, and inquired for Mr. Hadwin.</p> + +<p>"Ah!" replied he, with a sigh, "William Hadwin. Is it him thee wants? +Poor man! He is gone to rest many days since."</p> + +<p>My heart sunk within me at these tidings. "Dead!" said I; "do you mean +that he is dead?"—This exclamation was uttered in a tone of some +vehemence. It attracted the attention of some one who was standing +without, who immediately entered the kitchen. It was Eliza Hadwin. The +moment she beheld me she shrieked aloud, and, rushing into my arms, +fainted away.</p> + +<p>The old man dropped his bowl; and, starting from his seat, stared +alternately at me and at the breathless girl. My emotion, made up of +joy, and sorrow, and surprise, rendered me for a moment powerless as +she. At length he said, "I understand this. I know who thee is, and will +tell her thee's come." So saying, he hastily left the room.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XXX.</h3> + + +<p>In a short time this gentle girl recovered her senses. She did not +withdraw herself from my sustaining arm, but, leaning on my bosom, she +resigned herself to passionate weeping. I did not endeavour to check +this effusion, believing that its influence would be salutary.</p> + +<p>I had not forgotten the thrilling sensibility and artless graces of this +girl. I had not forgotten the scruples which had formerly made me check +a passion whose tendency was easily discovered. These new proofs of her +affection were, at once, mournful and delightful. The untimely fate of +her father and my friend pressed with new force upon my heart, and my +tears, in spite of my fortitude, mingled with hers.</p> + +<p>The attention of both was presently attracted by a faint scream, which +proceeded from above. Immediately tottering footsteps were heard in the +passage, and a figure rushed into the room, pale, emaciated, haggard, +and wild. She cast a piercing glance at me, uttered a feeble +exclamation, and sunk upon the floor without signs of life.</p> + +<p>It was not difficult to comprehend this scene. I now conjectured, what +subsequent inquiry confirmed, that the old man had mistaken me for +Wallace, and had carried to the elder sister the news of his return. +This fatal disappointment of hopes that had nearly been extinct, and +which were now so powerfully revived, could not be endured by a frame +verging to dissolution.</p> + +<p>This object recalled all the energies of Eliza, and engrossed all my +solicitude. I lifted the fallen girl in my arms; and, guided by her +sister, carried her to her chamber. I had now leisure to contemplate the +changes which a few months had made in this lovely frame. I turned away +from the spectacle with anguish, but my wandering eyes were recalled by +some potent fascination, and fixed in horror upon a form which evinced +the last stage of decay. Eliza knelt on one side, and, leaning her face +upon the bed, endeavoured in vain to smother her sobs. I sat on the +other motionless, and holding the passive and withered hand of the +sufferer.</p> + +<p>I watched with ineffable solicitude the return of life. It returned at +length, but merely to betray symptoms that it would speedily depart +forever. For a time my faculties were palsied, and I was made an +impotent spectator of the ruin that environed me. This pusillanimity +quickly gave way to resolutions and reflections better suited to the +exigencies of the time.</p> + +<p>The first impulse was to summon a physician; but it was evident that the +patient had been sinking by slow degrees to this state, and that the +last struggle had begun. Nothing remained but to watch her while +expiring, and perform for her, when dead, the rites of interment. The +survivor was capable of consolation and of succour. I went to her and +drew her gently into another apartment. The old man, tremulous and +wonder-struck, seemed anxious to perform some service. I directed him to +kindle a fire in Eliza's chamber. Meanwhile I persuaded my gentle friend +to remain in this chamber, and resign to me the performance of every +office which her sister's condition required. I sat beside the bed of +the dying till the mortal struggle was past.</p> + +<p>I perceived that the house had no inhabitant besides the two females and +the old man. I went in search of the latter, and found him crouched, as +before, at the kitchen-fire, smoking his pipe. I placed myself on the +same bench, and entered into conversation with him.</p> + +<p>I gathered from him that he had, for many years, been Mr. Hadwin's +servant. That lately he had cultivated a small farm in this +neighbourhood for his own advantage. Stopping one day in October, at the +tavern, he heard that his old master had lately been in the city, had +caught <i>the fever</i>, and after his return had died with it. The moment he +became sick, his servants fled from the house, and the neighbours +refused to approach it. The task of attending his sick-bed was allotted +to his daughters, and it was by their hands that his grave was dug and +his body covered with earth. The same terror of infection existed after +his death as before, and these hapless females were deserted by all +mankind.</p> + +<p>Old Caleb was no sooner informed of these particulars, than he hurried +to the house, and had since continued in their service. His heart was +kind, but it was easily seen that his skill extended only to execute the +directions of another. Grief for the death of Wallace and her father +preyed upon the health of the eldest daughter. The younger became her +nurse, and Caleb was always at hand to execute any orders the +performance of which was on a level with his understanding. Their +neighbours had not withheld their good offices, but they were still +terrified and estranged by the phantoms of pestilence.</p> + +<p>During the last week Susan had been too weak to rise from her bed; yet +such was the energy communicated by the tidings that Wallace was alive, +and had returned, that she leaped upon her feet and rushed down-stairs. +How little did that man deserve so strenuous and immortal an affection!</p> + +<p>I would not allow myself to ponder on the sufferings of these women. I +endeavoured to think only of the best expedients for putting an end to +these calamities. After a moment's deliberation I determined to go to a +house at some miles' distance; the dwelling of one who, though not +exempt from the reigning panic, had shown more generosity towards these +unhappy girls than others. During my former abode in this district, I +had ascertained his character, and found him to be compassionate and +liberal.</p> + +<p>Overpowered by fatigue and watching, Eliza was no sooner relieved, by my +presence, of some portion of her cares, than she sunk into profound +slumber. I directed Caleb to watch the house till my return, which +should be before midnight, and then set out for the dwelling of Mr. +Ellis.</p> + +<p>The weather was temperate and moist, and rendered the footing of the +meadows extremely difficult. The ground, that had lately been frozen and +covered with snow, was now changed into gullies and pools, and this was +no time to be fastidious in the choice of paths. A brook, swelled by the +recent <i>thaw</i>, was likewise to be passed. The rail which I had formerly +placed over it by way of bridge had disappeared, and I was obliged to +wade through it. At length I approached the house to which I was going.</p> + +<p>At so late an hour, farmers and farmers' servants are usually abed, and +their threshold is intrusted to their watch-dogs. Two belonged to Mr. +Ellis, whose ferocity and vigilance were truly formidable to a stranger; +but I hoped that in me they would recognise an old acquaintance, and +suffer me to approach. In this I was not mistaken. Though my person +could not be distinctly seen by starlight, they seemed to scent me from +afar, and met me with a thousand caresses.</p> + +<p>Approaching the house, I perceived that its tenants were retired to +their repose. This I expected, and hastened to awaken Mr. Ellis, by +knocking briskly at the door. Presently he looked out of a window above, +and, in answer to his inquiries, in which impatience at being so +unseasonably disturbed was mingled with anxiety, I told him my name, and +entreated him to come down and allow me a few minutes' conversation. He +speedily dressed himself, and, opening the kitchen door, we seated +ourselves before the fire.</p> + +<p>My appearance was sufficiently adapted to excite his wonder; he had +heard of my elopement from the house of Mr. Hadwin, he was a stranger to +the motives that prompted my departure, and to the events that had +befallen me, and no interview was more distant from his expectations +than the present. His curiosity was written in his features, but this +was no time to gratify his curiosity. The end that I now had in view was +to procure accommodation for Eliza Hadwin in this man's house. For this +purpose it was my duty to describe, with simplicity and truth, the +inconveniences which at present surrounded her, and to relate all that +had happened since my arrival.</p> + +<p>I perceived that my tale excited his compassion, and I continued with +new zeal to paint to him the helplessness of this girl. The death of +her father and sister left her the property of this farm. Her sex and +age disqualified her for superintending the harvest-field and the +threshing-floor; and no expedient was left but to lease the land to +another, and, taking up her abode in the family of some kinsman or +friend, to subsist, as she might easily do, upon the rent. Meanwhile her +continuance in this house was equally useless and dangerous, and I +insinuated to my companion the propriety of immediately removing her to +his own.</p> + +<p>Some hesitation and reluctance appeared in him, which I immediately +ascribed to an absurd dread of infection. I endeavoured, by appealing to +his reason as well as to his pity, to conquer this dread. I pointed out +the true cause of the death of the elder daughter, and assured him the +youngest knew no indisposition but that which arose from distress. I +offered to save him from any hazard that might attend his approaching +the house, by accompanying her hither myself. All that her safety +required was that his doors should not be shut against her when she +presented herself before them.</p> + +<p>Still he was fearful and reluctant; and, at length, mentioned that her +uncle resided not more than sixteen miles farther; that he was her +natural protector, and, he dared to say, would find no difficulty in +admitting her into his house. For his part, there might be reason in +what I said, but he could not bring himself to think but that there was +still some danger of <i>the fever</i>. It was right to assist people in +distress, to-be-sure; but to risk his own life he did not think to be +his duty. He was no relation of the family, and it was the duty of +relations to help each other. Her uncle was the proper person to assist +her, and no doubt he would be as willing as able.</p> + +<p>The marks of dubiousness and indecision which accompanied these words +encouraged me in endeavouring to subdue his scruples. The increase of +his aversion to my scheme kept pace with my remonstrances, and he +finally declared that he would, on no account, consent to it.</p> + +<p>Ellis was by no means hard of heart. His determination did not prove the +coldness of his charity, but merely the strength of his fears. He was +himself an object more of compassion than of anger; and he acted like +the man whose fear of death prompts him to push his companion from the +plank which saved him from drowning, but which is unable to sustain +both. Finding him invincible to my entreaties, I thought upon the +expedient which he suggested of seeking the protection of her uncle. It +was true that the loss of parents had rendered her uncle her legal +protector. His knowledge of the world; his house and property and +influence, would, perhaps, fit him for this office in a more eminent +degree than I was fitted. To seek a different asylum might, indeed, be +unjust to both; and, after some reflection, I not only dismissed the +regret which Ellis's refusal had given me, but even thanked him for the +intelligence and counsel which he had afforded me. I took leave of him, +and hastened back to Hadwin's.</p> + +<p>Eliza, by Caleb's report, was still asleep. There was no urgent +necessity for awakening her; but something was forthwith to be done with +regard to the unhappy girl that was dead. The proceeding incumbent on us +was obvious. All that remained was to dig a grave, and to deposit the +remains with as much solemnity and decency as the time would permit. +There were two methods of doing this. I might wait till the next day; +till a coffin could be made and conveyed hither; till the woman, whose +trade it was to make and put on the habiliments assigned by custom to +the dead, could be sought out and hired to attend; till kindred, +friends, and neighbours could be summoned to the obsequies; till a +carriage were provided to remove the body to a burying-ground, belonging +to a meeting-house, and five miles distant; till those whose trade it +was to dig graves had prepared one, within the sacred enclosure, for her +reception; or, neglecting this toilsome, tedious, and expensive +ceremonial, I might seek the grave of Hadwin, and lay the daughter by +the side of her parent.</p> + +<p>Perhaps I was strong in my preference of the latter mode. The customs of +burial may, in most cases, be in themselves proper. If the customs be +absurd, yet it may be generally proper to adhere to them; but doubtless +there are cases in which it is our duty to omit them. I conceived the +present case to be such a one.</p> + +<p>The season was bleak and inclement. Much time, labour, and expense would +be required to go through the customary rites. There was none but myself +to perform these, and I had not the suitable means. The misery of Eliza +would only be prolonged by adhering to these forms, and her fortune be +needlessly diminished by the expenses unavoidably to be incurred.</p> + +<p>After musing upon these ideas for some time, I rose from my seat, and +desired Caleb to follow me. We proceeded to an outer shed where farmers' +tools used to be kept. I supplied him and myself with a spade, and +requested him to lead me to the spot where Mr. Hadwin was laid.</p> + +<p>He betrayed some hesitation to comply, and appeared struck with some +degree of alarm, as if my purpose had been to molest, instead of +securing, the repose of the dead. I removed his doubts by explaining my +intentions; but he was scarcely less shocked, on discovering the truth, +than he had been alarmed by his first suspicions. He stammered out his +objections to my scheme. There was but one mode of burial, he thought, +that was decent and proper, and he could not be free to assist me in +pursuing any other mode.</p> + +<p>Perhaps Caleb's aversion to the scheme might have been easily overcome; +but I reflected that a mind like his was at once flexible and obstinate. +He might yield to arguments and entreaties, and act by their immediate +impulse; but the impulse passed away in a moment, old and habitual +convictions were resumed, and his deviation from the beaten track would +be merely productive of compunction. His aid, on the present occasion, +though of some use, was by no means indispensable. I forbore to solicit +his concurrence, or even to vanquish the scruples he entertained against +directing me to the grave of Hadwin. It was a groundless superstition +that made one spot more suitable for this purpose than another. I +desired Caleb, in a mild tone, to return to the kitchen, and leave me to +act as I thought proper. I then proceeded to the orchard.</p> + +<p>One corner of this field was somewhat above the level of the rest. The +tallest tree of the group grew there, and there I had formerly placed a +bench, and made it my retreat at periods of leisure. It had been +recommended by its sequestered situation, its luxuriant verdure, and +profound quiet. On one side was a potato-field, on the other a +<i>melon-patch</i>; and before me, in rows, some hundreds of apple-trees. +Here I was accustomed to seek the benefits of contemplation and study +the manuscripts of Lodi. A few months had passed since I had last +visited this spot. What revolutions had since occurred, and how gloomily +contrasted was my present purpose with what had formerly led me hither!</p> + +<p>In this spot I had hastily determined to dig the grave of Susan. The +grave was dug. All that I desired was a cavity of sufficient dimensions +to receive her. This being made, I returned to the house, lifted the +corpse in my arms, and bore it without delay to the spot. Caleb, seated +in the kitchen, and Eliza, asleep in her chamber, were wholly unapprized +of my motions. The grave was covered, the spade reposited under the +shed, and my seat by the kitchen-fire resumed in a time apparently too +short for so solemn and momentous a transaction.</p> + +<p>I look back upon this incident with emotions not easily described. It +seems as if I acted with too much precipitation; as if insensibility, +and not reason, had occasioned that clearness of conceptions, and +bestowed that firmness of muscles, which I then experienced. I neither +trembled nor wavered in my purpose. I bore in my arms the being whom I +had known and loved, through the whistling gale and intense darkness of +a winter's night; I heaped earth upon her limbs, and covered them from +human observation, without fluctuations or tremors, though not without +feelings that were awful and sublime.</p> + +<p>Perhaps some part of my steadfastness was owing to my late experience, +and some minds may be more easily inured to perilous emergencies than +others. If reason acquires strength only by the diminution of +sensibility, perhaps it is just for sensibility to be diminished.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XXXI.</h3> + + +<p>The safety of Eliza was the object that now occupied my cares. To have +slept, after her example, had been most proper; but my uncertainty with +regard to her fate, and my desire to conduct her to some other home, +kept my thoughts in perpetual motion. I waited with impatience till she +should awake and allow me to consult with her on plans for futurity.</p> + +<p>Her sleep terminated not till the next day had arisen. Having recovered +the remembrance of what had lately happened, she inquired for her +sister. She wanted to view once more the face and kiss the lips of her +beloved Susan. Some relief to her anguish she expected to derive from +this privilege.</p> + +<p>When informed of the truth, when convinced that Susan had disappeared +forever, she broke forth into fresh passion. It seemed as if her loss +was not hopeless or complete as long as she was suffered to behold the +face of her friend and to touch her lips. She accused me of acting +without warrant and without justice; of defrauding her of her dearest +and only consolation; and of treating her sister's sacred remains with +barbarous indifference and rudeness.</p> + +<p>I explained in the gentlest terms the reasons of my conduct. I was not +surprised or vexed that she, at first, treated them as futile, and as +heightening my offence. Such was the impulse of a grief which was +properly excited by her loss. To be tranquil and steadfast, in the midst +of the usual causes of impetuosity and agony, is either the prerogative +of wisdom that sublimes itself above all selfish considerations, or the +badge of giddy and unfeeling folly.</p> + +<p>The torrent was at length exhausted. Upbraiding was at an end; and +gratitude, and tenderness, and implicit acquiescence in any scheme which +my prudence should suggest, succeeded. I mentioned her uncle as one to +whom it would be proper, in her present distress, to apply.</p> + +<p>She started and betrayed uneasiness at this name. It was evident that +she by no means concurred with me in my notions of propriety; that she +thought with aversion of seeking her uncle's protection. I requested her +to state her objections to this scheme, or to mention any other which +she thought preferable.</p> + +<p>She knew nobody. She had not a friend in the world but myself. She had +never been out of her father's house. She had no relation but her uncle +Philip, and he—she could not live with him. I must not insist upon her +going to his house. It was not the place for her. She should never be +happy there.</p> + +<p>I was, at first, inclined to suspect in my friend some capricious and +groundless antipathy. I desired her to explain what in her uncle's +character made him so obnoxious. She refused to be more explicit, and +persisted in thinking that his house was no suitable abode for her.</p> + +<p>Finding her, in this respect, invincible, I sought for some other +expedient. Might she not easily be accommodated as a boarder in the +city, or some village, or in a remote quarter of the country? Ellis, her +nearest and most opulent neighbour, had refused to receive her; but +there were others who had not his fears. There were others, within the +compass of a day's journey, who were strangers to the cause of Hadwin's +death; but would it not be culpable to take advantage of that ignorance? +Their compliance ought not to be the result of deception.</p> + +<p>While thus engaged, the incidents of my late journey recurred to my +remembrance, and I asked, "Is not the honest woman, who entertained +Wallace, just such a person as that of whom I am in search? Her +treatment of Wallace shows her to be exempt from chimerical fears, +proves that she has room in her house for an occasional inmate."</p> + +<p>Encouraged by these views, I told my weeping companion that I had +recollected a family in which she would be kindly treated; and that, if +she chose, we would not lose a moment in repairing thither. Horses, +belonging to the farm, grazed in the meadows, and a couple of these +would carry us in a few hours to the place which I had selected for her +residence. On her eagerly assenting to this proposal, I inquired in +whose care, and in what state, our present habitation should be left.</p> + +<p>The father's property now belonged to the daughter. Eliza's mind was +quick, active, and sagacious; but her total inexperience gave her +sometimes the appearance of folly. She was eager to fly from this house, +and to resign herself and her property, without limitation or condition, +to my control. Our intercourse had been short, but she relied on my +protection and counsel as absolutely as she had been accustomed to do +upon her father's.</p> + +<p>She knew not what answer to make to my inquiry. Whatever I pleased to do +was the best. What did I think ought to be done?</p> + +<p>"Ah!" thought I, "sweet, artless, and simple girl! how wouldst thou have +fared, if Heaven had not sent me to thy succour? There are beings in the +world who would make a selfish use of thy confidence; who would beguile +thee at once of innocence and property. Such am not I. Thy welfare is a +precious deposit, and no father or brother could watch over it with more +solicitude than I will do."</p> + +<p>I was aware that Mr. Hadwin might have fixed the destination of his +property, and the guardianship of his daughters, by will. On suggesting +this to my friend, it instantly reminded her of an incident that took +place after his last return from the city. He had drawn up his will, and +gave it into Susan's possession, who placed it in a drawer, whence it +was now taken by my friend.</p> + +<p>By this will his property was now found to be bequeathed to his two +daughters; and his brother, Philip Hadwin, was named executor, and +guardian to his daughters till they should be twenty years old. This +name was no sooner heard by my friend, than she exclaimed, in a tone of +affright, "Executor! My uncle! What is that? What power does that give +him?"</p> + +<p>"I know not exactly the power of executors. He will, doubtless, have +possession of your property till you are twenty years of age. Your +person will likewise be under his care till that time."</p> + +<p>"Must he decide where I am to live?"</p> + +<p>"He is vested with all the power of a father."</p> + +<p>This assurance excited the deepest consternation. She fixed her eyes on +the ground, and was lost, for a time, in the deepest reverie. +Recovering, at length, she said, with a sigh, "What if my father had +made no will?"</p> + +<p>"In that case, a guardian could not be dispensed with, but the right of +naming him would belong to yourself."</p> + +<p>"And my uncle would have nothing to do with my affairs?"</p> + +<p>"I am no lawyer," said I; "but I presume all authority over your person +and property would devolve upon the guardian of your own choice."</p> + +<p>"Then I am free." Saying this, with a sudden motion, she tore in several +pieces the will, which, during this dialogue, she had held in her hand, +and threw the fragments into the fire.</p> + +<p>No action was more unexpected to me than this. My astonishment hindered +me from attempting to rescue the paper from the flames. It was consumed +in a moment. I was at a loss in what manner to regard this sacrifice. It +denoted a force of mind little in unison with that simplicity and +helplessness which this girl had hitherto displayed. It argued the +deepest apprehensions of mistreatment from her uncle. Whether his +conduct had justified this violent antipathy, I had no means of judging. +Mr. Hadwin's choice of him, as his executor, was certainly one proof of +his integrity.</p> + +<p>My abstraction was noticed by Eliza with visible anxiety. It was plain +that she dreaded the impression which this act of seeming temerity had +made upon me. "Do not be angry with me," said she; "perhaps I have been +wrong, but I could not help it. I will have but one guardian and one +protector."</p> + +<p>The deed was irrevocable. In my present ignorance of the domestic +history of the Hadwins, I was unqualified to judge how far circumstances +might extenuate or justify the act. On both accounts, therefore, it was +improper to expatiate upon it.</p> + +<p>It was concluded to leave the care of the house to honest Caleb; to +fasten closets and drawers, and, carrying away the money which was found +in one of them, and which amounted to no inconsiderable sum, to repair +to the house formerly mentioned. The air was cold; a heavy snow began to +fall in the night; the wind blew tempestuously; and we were compelled to +confront it.</p> + +<p>In leaving her dwelling, in which she had spent her whole life, the +unhappy girl gave way afresh to her sorrow. It made her feeble and +helpless. When placed upon the horse, she was scarcely able to maintain +her seat. Already chilled by the cold, blinded by the drifting snow, and +cut by the blast, all my remonstrances were needed to inspire her with +resolution.</p> + +<p>I am not accustomed to regard the elements, or suffer them to retard or +divert me from any design that I have formed. I had overlooked the weak +and delicate frame of my companion, and made no account of her being +less able to support cold and fatigue than myself. It was not till we +had made some progress in our way, that I began to view, in their true +light, the obstacles that were to be encountered. I conceived it, +however, too late to retreat, and endeavoured to push on with speed.</p> + +<p>My companion was a skilful rider, but her steed was refractory and +unmanageable. She was able, however, to curb his spirit till we had +proceeded ten or twelve miles from Malverton. The wind and the cold +became too violent to be longer endured, and I resolved to stop at the +first house which should present itself to my view, for the sake of +refreshment and warmth.</p> + +<p>We now entered a wood of some extent, at the termination of which I +remembered that a dwelling stood. To pass this wood, therefore, with +expedition, was all that remained before we could reach a hospitable +asylum. I endeavoured to sustain, by this information, the sinking +spirits of my companion. While busy in conversing with her, a blast of +irresistible force twisted off the highest branch of a tree before us. +It fell in the midst of the road, at the distance of a few feet from her +horse's head. Terrified by this accident, the horse started from the +path, and, rushing into the wood, in a moment threw himself and his +rider on the ground, by encountering the rugged stock of an oak.</p> + +<p>I dismounted and flew to her succour. The snow was already dyed with the +blood which flowed from some wound in her head, and she lay without +sense or motion. My terrors did not hinder me from anxiously searching +for the hurt which was received, and ascertaining the extent of the +injury. Her forehead was considerably bruised; but, to my unspeakable +joy, the blood flowed from the nostrils, and was, therefore, to be +regarded as no mortal symptom.</p> + +<p>I lifted her in my arms, and looked around me for some means of relief. +The house at which I proposed to stop was upwards of a mile distant. I +remembered none that was nearer. To place the wounded girl on my own +horse, and proceed gently to the house in question, was the sole +expedient; but, at present, she was senseless, and might, on recovering, +be too feeble to sustain her own weight.</p> + +<p>To recall her to life was my first duty; but I was powerless, or +unacquainted with the means. I gazed upon her features, and endeavoured, +by pressing her in my arms, to inspire her with some warmth. I looked +towards the road, and listened for the wished-for sound of some carriage +that might be prevailed on to stop and receive her. Nothing was more +improbable than that either pleasure or business would induce men to +encounter so chilling and vehement a blast. To be lighted on by some +traveller was, therefore, a hopeless event.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile, Eliza's swoon continued, and my alarm increased. What effect +her half-frozen blood would have in prolonging this condition, or +preventing her return to life, awakened the deepest apprehensions. I +left the wood, still bearing her in my arms, and re-entered the road, +from the desire of descrying, as soon as possible, the coming passenger. +I looked this way and that, and again listened. Nothing but the sweeping +blast, rent and fallen branches, and snow that filled and obscured the +air, were perceivable. Each moment retarded the course of my own blood +and stiffened my sinews, and made the state of my companion more +desperate. How was I to act? To perish myself, or see her perish, was an +ignoble fate; courage and activity were still able to avert it. My horse +stood near, docile and obsequious; to mount him and to proceed on my +way, holding my lifeless burden in my arms, was all that remained.</p> + +<p>At this moment my attention was called by several voices issuing from +the wood. It was the note of gayety and glee. Presently a sleigh, with +several persons of both sexes, appeared, in a road which led through the +forest into that in which I stood. They moved at a quick pace, but their +voices were hushed, and they checked the speed of their horses, on +discovering us. No occurrence was more auspicious than this; for I +relied with perfect confidence on the benevolence of these persons, and, +as soon as they came near, claimed their assistance.</p> + +<p>My story was listened to with sympathy, and one of the young men, +leaping from the sleigh, assisted me in placing Eliza in the place which +he had left. A female, of sweet aspect and engaging manners, insisted +upon turning back and hastening to the house, where it seems her father +resided, and which the party had just left. I rode after the sleigh, +which in a few minutes arrived at the house. The dwelling was spacious +and neat, and a venerable man and woman, alarmed by the quick return of +the young people, came forth to know the cause. They received their +guest with the utmost tenderness, and provided her with all the +accommodations which her condition required. Their daughter relinquished +the scheme of pleasure in which she had been engaged, and, compelling +her companions to depart without her, remained to nurse and console the +sick.</p> + +<p>A little time showed that no lasting injury had been suffered. +Contusions, more troublesome than dangerous, and easily curable by such +applications as rural and traditional wisdom has discovered, were the +only consequences of the fall. My mind, being relieved from +apprehensions on this score, had leisure to reflect upon the use which +might be made of the present state of things.</p> + +<p>When I remarked the structure of this house, and the features and +deportment of its inhabitants, methought I discerned a powerful +resemblance between this family and Hadwin's. It seemed as if some +benignant power had led us hither as to the most suitable asylum that +could be obtained; and, in order to supply to the forlorn Eliza the +place of those parents and that sister she had lost, I conceived that, +if their concurrence could be gained, no abode was more suitable than +this. No time was to be lost in gaining this concurrence. The curiosity +of our host and hostess, whose name was Curling, speedily afforded me an +opportunity to disclose the history and real situation of my friend. +There were no motives to reserve or prevarication. There was nothing +which I did not faithfully and circumstantially relate. I concluded with +stating my wishes that they would admit my friend as a boarder into +their house.</p> + +<p>The old man was warm in his concurrence. His wife betrayed some +scruples; which, however, her husband's arguments and mine removed. I +did not even suppress the tenor and destruction of the will, and the +antipathy which Eliza had conceived for her uncle, and which I declared +myself unable to explain. It presently appeared that Mr. Curling had +some knowledge of Philip Hadwin, and that the latter had acquired the +repute of being obdurate and profligate. He employed all means to +accomplish his selfish ends, and would probably endeavour to usurp the +property which his brother had left. To provide against his power and +his malice would be particularly incumbent on us, and my new friend +readily promised his assistance in the measures which we should take to +that end.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XXXII.</h3> + + +<p>The state of my feelings may be easily conceived to consist of mixed, +but, on the whole, of agreeable, sensations. The death of Hadwin and his +elder daughter could not be thought upon without keen regrets. These it +was useless to indulge, and were outweighed by reflections on the +personal security in which the survivor was now placed. It was hurtful +to expend my unprofitable cares upon the dead, while there existed one +to whom they could be of essential benefit, and in whose happiness they +would find an ample compensation.</p> + +<p>This happiness, however, was still incomplete. It was still exposed to +hazard, and much remained to be done before adequate provision was made +against the worst of evils, poverty. I now found that Eliza, being only +fifteen years old, stood in need of a guardian, and that the forms of +law required that some one should make himself her father's +administrator. Mr. Curling, being tolerably conversant with these +subjects, pointed out the mode to be pursued, and engaged to act on this +occasion as Eliza's friend.</p> + +<p>There was another topic on which my happiness, as well as that of my +friend, required us to form some decision. I formerly mentioned, that, +during my abode at Malverton, I had not been insensible to the +attractions of this girl. An affection had stolen upon me, for which it +was easily discovered that I should not have been denied a suitable +return. My reasons for stifling these emotions, at that time, have been +mentioned. It may now be asked, what effect subsequent events had +produced on my feelings, and how far partaking and relieving her +distresses had revived a passion which may readily be supposed to have +been, at no time, entirely extinguished.</p> + +<p>The impediments which then existed were removed. Our union would no +longer risk the resentment or sorrow of her excellent parent. She had no +longer a sister to divide with her the property of the farm, and make +what was sufficient for both, when living together, too little for +either separately. Her youth and simplicity required, beyond most +others, a legal protector, and her happiness was involved in the success +of those hopes which she took no pains to conceal.</p> + +<p>As to me, it seemed at first view as if every incident conspired to +determine my choice. Omitting all regard to the happiness of others, my +own interest could not fail to recommend a scheme by which the precious +benefits of competence and independence might be honestly obtained. The +excursions of my fancy had sometimes carried me beyond the bounds +prescribed by my situation, but they were, nevertheless, limited to that +field to which I had once some prospect of acquiring a title. All I +wanted for the basis of my gaudiest and most dazzling structures was a +hundred acres of plough-land and meadow. Here my spirit of improvement, +my zeal to invent and apply new maxims of household luxury and +convenience, new modes and instruments of tillage, new arts connected +with orchard, garden, and cornfield, were supplied with abundant scope. +Though the want of these would not benumb my activity, or take away +content, the possession would confer exquisite and permanent enjoyments.</p> + +<p>My thoughts have ever hovered over the images of wife and children with +more delight than over any other images. My fancy was always active on +this theme, and its reveries sufficiently ecstatic and glowing; but, +since my intercourse with this girl, my scattered visions were collected +and concentrated. I had now a form and features before me; a sweet and +melodious voice vibrated in my ear; my soul was filled, as it were, with +her lineaments and gestures, actions and looks. All ideas, possessing +any relation to beauty or sex, appeared to assume this shape. They kept +an immovable place in my mind, they diffused around them an ineffable +complacency. Love is merely of value as a prelude to a more tender, +intimate, and sacred union. Was I not in love? and did I not pant after +the irrevocable bounds, the boundless privileges, of wedlock?</p> + +<p>The question which others might ask, I have asked myself:—Was I not in +love? I am really at a loss for an answer. There seemed to be +irresistible weight in the reasons why I should refuse to marry, and +even forbear to foster love in my friend. I considered my youth, my +defective education, and my limited views. I had passed from my cottage +into the world. I had acquired, even in my transient sojourn among the +busy haunts of men, more knowledge than the lucubrations and employments +of all my previous years had conferred. Hence I might infer the +childlike immaturity of my understanding, and the rapid progress I was +still capable of making. Was this an age to form an irrevocable +contract; to choose the companion of my future life, the associate of my +schemes of intellectual and benevolent activity?</p> + +<p>I had reason to contemn my own acquisitions; but were not those of Eliza +still more slender? Could I rely upon the permanence of her equanimity +and her docility to my instructions? What qualities might not time +unfold, and how little was I qualified to estimate the character of one +whom no vicissitude or hardship had approached before the death of her +father,—whose ignorance was, indeed, great, when it could justly be +said even to exceed my own!</p> + +<p>Should I mix with the world, enroll myself in different classes of +society, be a witness to new scenes; might not my modes of judging +undergo essential variations? Might I not gain the knowledge of beings +whose virtue was the gift of experience and the growth of knowledge? who +joined to the modesty and charms of woman the benefits of education, the +maturity and steadfastness of age, and with whose character and +sentiments my own would be much more congenial than they could possibly +be with the extreme youth, rustic simplicity, and mental imperfections +of Eliza Hadwin?</p> + +<p>To say truth, I was now conscious of a revolution in my mind. I can +scarcely assign its true cause. No tokens of it appeared during my late +retreat to Malverton. Subsequent incidents, perhaps, joined with the +influence of meditation, had generated new views. On my first visit to +the city, I had met with nothing but scenes of folly, depravity, and +cunning. No wonder that the images connected with the city were +disastrous and gloomy; but my second visit produced somewhat different +impressions. Maravegli, Estwick, Medlicote, and you, were beings who +inspired veneration and love. Your residence appeared to beautify and +consecrate this spot, and gave birth to an opinion that, if cities are +the chosen seats of misery and vice, they are likewise the soil of all +the laudable and strenuous productions of mind.</p> + +<p>My curiosity and thirst of knowledge had likewise received a new +direction. Books and inanimate nature were cold and lifeless +instructors. Men, and the works of men, were the objects of rational +study, and our own eyes only could communicate just conceptions of human +performances. The influence of manners, professions, and social +institutions, could be thoroughly known only by direct inspection.</p> + +<p>Competence, fixed property and a settled abode, rural occupations and +conjugal pleasures, were justly to be prized; but their value could be +known and their benefits fully enjoyed only by those who have tried all +scenes; who have mixed with all classes and ranks; who have partaken of +all conditions; and who have visited different hemispheres and climates +and nations. The next five or eight years of my life should be devoted +to activity and change; it should be a period of hardship, danger, and +privation; it should be my apprenticeship to fortitude and wisdom, and +be employed to fit me for the tranquil pleasures and steadfast exertions +of the remainder of my life.</p> + +<p>In consequence of these reflections, I determined to suppress that +tenderness which the company of Miss Hadwin produced, to remove any +mistakes into which she had fallen, and to put it out of my power to +claim for her more than the dues of friendship. All ambiguities, in a +case like this, and all delays, were hurtful. She was not exempt from +passion, but this passion, I thought, was young, and easily +extinguished.</p> + +<p>In a short time her health was restored, and her grief melted down into +a tender melancholy. I chose a suitable moment, when not embarrassed by +the presence of others, to reveal my thoughts. My disclosure was +ingenuous and perfect. I laid before her the whole train of my thoughts, +nearly in the order, though in different and more copious terms than +those, in which I have just explained them to you. I concealed nothing. +The impression which her artless loveliness had made upon me at +Malverton; my motives for estranging myself from her society; the nature +of my present feelings with regard to her, and my belief of the state of +her heart; the reasonings into which I had entered; the advantages of +wedlock and its inconveniences; and, finally, the resolution I had +formed of seeking the city, and, perhaps, of crossing the ocean, were +minutely detailed.</p> + +<p>She interrupted me not, but changing looks, blushes, flutterings, and +sighs, showed her to be deeply and variously affected by my discourse. I +paused for some observation or comment. She seemed conscious of my +expectation, but had no power to speak. Overpowered, at length, by her +emotions, she burst into tears.</p> + +<p>I was at a loss in what manner to construe these symptoms. I waited till +her vehemence was somewhat subsided, and then said, "What think you of +my schemes? Your approbation is of some moment: do you approve of them +or not?"</p> + +<p>This question excited some little resentment, and she answered, "You +have left me nothing to say. Go, and be happy; no matter what becomes of +me. I hope I shall be able to take care of myself."</p> + +<p>The tone in which this was said had something in it of upbraiding. "Your +happiness," said I, "is too dear to me to leave it in danger. In this +house you will not need my protection, but I shall never be so far from +you as to be disabled from hearing how you fare, by letter, and of being +active for your good. You have some money, which you must husband well. +Any rent from your farm cannot be soon expected; but what you have got, +if you remain with Mr. Curling, will pay your board and all other +expenses for two years; but you must be a good economist. I shall +expect," continued I, with a serious smile, "a punctual account of all +your sayings and doings. I must know how every minute is employed and +every penny is expended, and, if I find you erring, I must tell you so +in good round terms."</p> + +<p>These words did not dissipate the sullenness which her looks had +betrayed. She still forbore to look at me, and said, "I do not know how +I should tell you every thing. You care so little about me that—I +should only be troublesome. I am old enough to think and act for myself, +and shall advise with nobody but myself."</p> + +<p>"That is true," said I. "I shall rejoice to see you independent and +free. Consult your own understanding, and act according to its dictates. +Nothing more is wanting to make you useful and happy. I am anxious to +return to the city, but, if you will allow me, will go first to +Malverton, see that things are in due order, and that old Caleb is well. +From thence, if you please, I will call at your uncle's, and tell him +what has happened. He may, otherwise, entertain pretensions and form +views erroneous in themselves and injurious to you. He may think himself +entitled to manage your estate. He may either suppose a will to have +been made, or may actually have heard from your father, or from others, +of that which you burnt, and in which he was named executor. His +boisterous and sordid temper may prompt him to seize your house and +goods, unless seasonably apprized of the truth; and, when he knows the +truth, he may start into rage, which I shall be more fitted to encounter +than you. I am told that anger transforms him into a ferocious madman. +Shall I call upon him?"</p> + +<p>She shuddered at the picture which I had drawn of her uncle's character; +but this emotion quickly gave place to self-upbraiding for the manner in +which she had repelled my proffers of service. She melted once more into +tears, and exclaimed,—</p> + +<p>"I am not worthy of the pains you take for me. I am unfeeling and +ungrateful. Why should I think ill of you for despising me, when I +despise myself?"</p> + +<p>"You do yourself injustice, my friend. I think I see your most secret +thoughts; and these, instead of exciting anger or contempt, only awaken +compassion and tenderness. You love; and must, therefore, conceive my +conduct to be perverse and cruel. I counted on your harbouring such +thoughts. Time only and reflection will enable you to see my motives in +their true light. Hereafter you will recollect my words, and find them +sufficient to justify my conduct. You will acknowledge the propriety of +my engaging in the cares of the world before I sit down in retirement +and ease."</p> + +<p>"Ah! how much you mistake me! I admire and approve of your schemes. What +angers and distresses me is, that you think me unworthy to partake of +your cares and labours; that you regard my company as an obstacle and +encumbrance; that assistance and counsel must all proceed from you; and +that no scene is fit for me, but what you regard as slothful and +inglorious.</p> + +<p>"Have I not the same claims to be wise, and active, and courageous, as +you? If I am ignorant and weak, do I not owe it to the same cause that +has made you so? and will not the same means which promote your +improvement be likewise useful to me? You desire to obtain knowledge, by +travelling and conversing with many persons, and studying many sciences; +but you desire it for yourself alone. Me you think poor, weak, and +contemptible; fit for nothing but to spin and churn. Provided I exist, +am screened from the weather, have enough to eat and drink, you are +satisfied. As to strengthening my mind and enlarging my knowledge, these +things are valuable to you, but on me they are thrown away. I deserve +not the gift."</p> + +<p>This strain, simple and just as it was, was wholly unexpected. I was +surprised and disconcerted. In my previous reasonings I had certainly +considered her sex as utterly unfitting her for those scenes and +pursuits to which I had destined myself. Not a doubt of the validity of +my conclusion had insinuated itself; but now my belief was shaken, +though it was not subverted. I could not deny that human ignorance was +curable by the same means in one sex as in the other; that fortitude +and skill were of no less value to one than to the other.</p> + +<p>Questionless, my friend was rendered, by her age and inexperience, if +not by sex, more helpless and dependent than I; but had I not been prone +to overrate the difficulties which I should encounter? Had I not deemed +unjustly of her constancy and force of mind? Marriage would render her +property joint, and would not compel me to take up my abode in the +woods, to abide forever in one spot, to shackle my curiosity, or limit +my excursions.</p> + +<p>But marriage was a contract awful and irrevocable. Was this the woman +with whom my reason enjoined me to blend my fate, without the power of +dissolution? Would not time unfold qualities in her which I did not at +present suspect, and which would evince an incurable difference in our +minds? Would not time lead me to the feet of one who more nearly +approached that standard of ideal excellence which poets and romancers +had exhibited to my view?</p> + +<p>These considerations were powerful and delicate. I knew not in what +terms to state them to my companion, so as to preclude the imputation of +arrogance or indecorum. It became me, however, to be explicit, and to +excite her resentment rather than mislead her judgment. She collected my +meaning from a few words, and, interrupting me, said,—</p> + +<p>"How very low is the poor Eliza in your opinion! We are, indeed, both +too young to be married. May I not see you, and talk with you, without +being your wife? May I not share your knowledge, relieve your cares, and +enjoy your confidence, as a sister might do? May I not accompany you in +your journeys and studies, as one friend accompanies another? My +property may be yours; you may employ it for your benefit and mine; not +because you are my husband, but my friend. You are going to the city. +Let me go along with you. Let me live where you live. The house that is +large enough to hold you will hold me. The fare that is good enough for +you will be luxury to me. Oh! let it be so, will you?</p> + +<p>"You cannot think how studious, how thoughtful, how inquisitive, I will +be. How tenderly I will nurse you when sick! it is possible you may be +sick, you know, and, no one in the world will be half so watchful and +affectionate as I shall be. Will you let me?"</p> + +<p>In saying this, her earnestness gave new pathos to her voice. Insensibly +she put her face close to mine, and, transported beyond the usual bounds +of reserve by the charms of that picture which her fancy contemplated, +she put her lips to my cheek, and repeated, in a melting accent, "Will +you let me?"</p> + +<p>You, my friends, who have not seen Eliza Hadwin, cannot conceive what +effect this entreaty was adapted to produce in me. She has surely the +sweetest voice, the most speaking features, and most delicate symmetry, +that ever woman possessed. Her guileless simplicity and tenderness made +her more enchanting. To be the object of devotion to a heart so fervent +and pure was, surely, no common privilege. Thus did she tender me +herself; and was not the gift to be received with eagerness and +gratitude?</p> + +<p>No. I was not so much a stranger to mankind as to acquiesce in this +scheme. As my sister or my wife, the world would suffer us to reside +under the same roof; to apply to common use the same property; and daily +to enjoy the company of each other; but she was not my sister, and +marriage would be an act of the grossest indiscretion. I explained to +her, in few words, the objections to which her project was liable.</p> + +<p>"Well, then," said she, "let me live in the next house, in the +neighbourhood, or, at least, in the same city. Let me be where I may see +you once a day, or once a week, or once a month. Shut me not wholly from +your society, and the means of becoming, in time, less ignorant and +foolish than I now am."</p> + +<p>After a pause, I replied, "I love you too well not to comply with this +request. Perhaps the city will be as suitable a residence as any other +for you, as it will, for some time, be most convenient to me. I shall be +better able to watch over your welfare, and supply you with the means of +improvement, when you are within a small distance. At present, you must +consent to remain here, while I visit your uncle, and afterwards go to +the city. I shall look out for you a suitable lodging, and inform you +when it is found. If you then continue in the same mind, I will come, +and, having gained the approbation of Mr. Curling, will conduct you to +town." Here ended our dialogue.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XXXIII.</h3> + + +<p>Though I had consented to this scheme, I was conscious that some hazards +attended it. I was afraid of calumny, which might trouble the peace or +destroy the reputation of my friend. I was afraid of my own weakness, +which might be seduced into an indiscreet marriage by the charms or +sufferings of this bewitching creature. I felt that there was no price +too dear to save her from slander. A fair fame is of the highest +importance to a young female, and the loss of it but poorly supplied by +the testimony of her own conscience. I had reason for tenfold solicitude +on this account, since I was her only protector and friend. Hence, I +cherished some hopes that time might change her views, and suggest less +dangerous schemes. Meanwhile, I was to lose no time in visiting +Malverton and Philip Hadwin.</p> + +<p>About ten days had elapsed since we had deserted Malverton. These were +days of successive storms, and travelling had been rendered +inconvenient. The weather was now calm and clear, and, early in the +morning that ensued the dialogue which I have just related, I set out on +horseback.</p> + +<p>Honest Caleb was found eating his breakfast nearly in the spot where he +had been first discovered. He answered my inquiries by saying, that, two +days after our departure, several men had come to the house, one of whom +was Philip Hadwin. They had interrogated him as to the condition of the +farm, and the purpose of his remaining on it. William Hadwin they knew +to have been some time dead; but where were the girls, his daughters?</p> + +<p>Caleb answered that Susy, the eldest, was likewise dead.</p> + +<p>These tidings excited astonishment. When died she, and how, and where +was she buried?</p> + +<p>It happened two days before, and she was buried, he believed, but could +not tell where.</p> + +<p>Not tell where? By whom, then, was she buried?</p> + +<p>Really, he could not tell. Some strange man came there just as she was +dying. He went to the room, and, when she was dead, took her away, but +what he did with the body was more than he could say, but he had a +notion that he buried it. The man stayed till the morning, and then went +off with Lizzy, leaving him to keep house by himself. He had not seen +either of them, nor, indeed, a single soul since.</p> + +<p>This was all the information that Caleb could afford the visitants. It +was so lame and incredible that they began to charge the man with +falsehood, and to threaten him with legal animadversion. Just then Mr. +Ellis entered the house, and, being made acquainted with the subject of +discourse, told all that he himself knew. He related the midnight visit +which I had paid him, explained my former situation in the family, and +my disappearance in September. He stated the advice he had given me to +carry Eliza to her uncle's, and my promise to comply with his counsel. +The uncle declared he had seen nothing of his niece, and Caleb added, +that, when she set out, she took the road that led to town.</p> + +<p>These hints afforded grounds for much conjecture and suspicion. Ellis +now mentioned some intelligence that he had gathered respecting me in a +late journey to ——. It seems I was the son of an honest farmer in that +quarter, who married a tidy girl of a milkmaid that lived with him. My +father had detected me in making some atrocious advances to my +mother-in-law, and had turned me out of doors. I did not go off, +however, without rifling his drawer of some hundreds of dollars, which +he had laid up against a rainy day. I was noted for such pranks, and was +hated by all the neighbours for my pride and laziness. It was easy, by +comparison of circumstances, for Ellis to ascertain that Hadwin's +servant Mervyn was the same against whom such heavy charges were laid.</p> + +<p>Previously to this journey, he had heard of me from Hadwin, who was loud +in praise of my diligence, sobriety, and modesty. For his part, he had +always been cautious of giving countenance to vagrants that came from +nobody knew where, and worked their way with a plausible tongue. He was +not surprised to hear it whispered that Betsy Hadwin had fallen in love +with the youth, and now, no doubt, he had persuaded her to run away with +him. The heiress of a fine farm was a prize not to be met with every +day.</p> + +<p>Philip broke into rage at this news; swore that if it turned out so, his +niece should starve upon the town, and that he would take good care to +balk the lad. His brother he well knew had left a will, to which he was +executor, and that this will would in good time be forthcoming. After +much talk and ransacking the house, and swearing at his truant niece, he +and his company departed, charging Caleb to keep the house and its +contents for his use. This was all that Caleb's memory had retained of +that day's proceedings.</p> + +<p>Curling had lately commented on the character of Philip Hadwin. This man +was totally unlike his brother, was a noted brawler and bully, a tyrant +to his children, a plague to his neighbours, and kept a rendezvous for +drunkards and idlers, at the sign of the Bull's Head, at ——. He was +not destitute of parts, and was no less dreaded for cunning than +malignity. He was covetous, and never missed an opportunity of +overreaching his neighbour. There was no doubt that his niece's property +would be embezzled should it ever come into his hands, and any power +which he might obtain over her person would be exercised to her +destruction. His children were tainted with the dissoluteness of their +father, and marriage had not repaired the reputation of his daughters, +or cured them of depravity: this was the man whom I now proposed to +visit.</p> + +<p>I scarcely need to say that the calumny of Betty Lawrence gave me no +uneasiness. My father had no doubt been deceived, as well as my father's +neighbours, by the artifices of this woman. I passed among them for a +thief and a profligate, but their error had hitherto been harmless to +me. The time might come which should confute the tale without my +efforts. Betty, sooner or later, would drop her mask, and afford the +antidote to her own poisons, unless some new incident should occur to +make me hasten the catastrophe.</p> + +<p>I arrived at Hadwin's house. I was received with some attention as a +guest. I looked, among the pimpled visages that filled the piazza, for +that of the landlord, but found him in an inner apartment with two or +three more seated round a table. On intimating my wish to speak with him +alone, the others withdrew.</p> + +<p>Hadwin's visage had some traces of resemblance to his brother; but the +meek, placid air, pale cheeks, and slender form of the latter were +powerfully contrasted with the bloated arrogance, imperious brow, and +robust limbs of the former. This man's rage was awakened by a straw; it +impelled him in an instant to oaths and buffetings, and made his life an +eternal brawl. The sooner my interview with such a personage should be +at an end, the better. I therefore explained the purpose of my coming as +fully and in as few words as possible.</p> + +<p>"Your name, sir, is Philip Hadwin. Your brother William, of Malverton, +died lately and left two daughters. The youngest only is now alive, and +I come, commissioned from her, to inform you that, as no will of her +father's is extant, she is preparing to administer to his estate. As her +father's brother, she thought you entitled to this information."</p> + +<p>The change which took place in the countenance of this man, during this +address, was remarkable, but not easily described. His cheeks contracted +a deeper crimson, his eyes sparkled, and his face assumed an expression +in which curiosity was mingled with rage. He bent forward, and said, in +a hoarse and contemptuous tone, "Pray, is your name Mervyn?"</p> + +<p>I answered, without hesitation, and as if the question were wholly +unimportant, "Yes; my name is Mervyn."</p> + +<p>"God damn it! You then are the damned rascal"—(but permit me to repeat +his speech without the oaths with which it was plentifully interlarded. +Not three words were uttered without being garnished with a—"God damn +it!" "damnation!" "I'll be damned to hell if"—and the like energetic +expletives.) "You then are the rascal that robbed Billy's house; that +ran away with the fool his daughter; persuaded her to burn her father's +will, and have the hellish impudence to come into this house! But I +thank you for it. I was going to look for you; you've saved me trouble. +I'll settle all accounts with you here. Fair and softly, my good lad! If +I don't bring you to the gallows—If I let you escape without such a +dressing! Damned impudence! Fellow! I've been at Malverton. I've heard +of your tricks. So! finding the will not quite to your mind, knowing +that the executor would balk your schemes, you threw the will into the +fire; you robbed the house of all the cash, and made off with the +girl!—The old fellow saw it all, and will swear to the truth."</p> + +<p>These words created some surprise. I meant not to conceal from this man +the tenor and destruction of the will, nor even the measures which his +niece had taken or intended to take. What I supposed to be unknown to +him appeared to have been communicated by the talkative Caleb, whose +mind was more inquisitive and less sluggish than first appearances had +led me to imagine. Instead of moping by the kitchen-fire when Eliza and +I were conversing in an upper room, it now appeared that he had +reconnoitred our proceedings through some keyhole or crevice, and had +related what he had seen to Hadwin.</p> + +<p>Hadwin proceeded to exhaust his rage in oaths and menaces. He frequently +clenched his fist and thrust it in my face, drew it back as if to render +his blow more deadly; ran over the same series of exclamations on my +impudence and villany, and talked of the gallows and the whipping-post; +enforced each word by the epithets <i>damnable</i> and <i>hellish</i>; closed each +sentence with—"and be curst to you!"</p> + +<p>There was but one mode for me to pursue; all forcible opposition to a +man of his strength was absurd. It was my province to make his anger +confine itself to words, and patiently to wait till the paroxysm should +end or subside of itself. To effect this purpose, I kept my seat, and +carefully excluded from my countenance every indication of timidity and +panic on the one hand, and of scorn and defiance on the other. My look +and attitude were those of a man who expected harsh words, but who +entertained no suspicion that blows would be inflicted.</p> + +<p>I was indebted for my safety to an inflexible adherence to this medium. +To have strayed, for a moment, to either side, would have brought upon +me his blows. That he did not instantly resort to violence inspired me +with courage, since it depended on myself whether food should be +supplied to his passion. Rage must either progress or decline; and, +since it was in total want of provocation, it could not fail of +gradually subsiding.</p> + +<p>My demeanour was calculated to damp the flame, not only by its direct +influence, but by diverting his attention from the wrongs which he had +received, to the novelty of my behaviour. The disparity in size and +strength between us was too evident to make him believe that I confided +in my sinews for my defence; and, since I betrayed neither contempt nor +fear, he could not but conclude that I trusted to my own integrity or to +his moderation. I seized the first pause in his rhetoric to enforce this +sentiment.</p> + +<p>"You are angry, Mr. Hadwin, and are loud in your threats; but they do +not frighten me. They excite no apprehension or alarm, because I know +myself able to convince you that I have not injured you. This is an inn, +and I am your guest. I am sure I shall find better entertainment than +blows. Come," continued I, smiling, "it is possible that I am not so +mischievous a wretch as your fancy paints me. I have no claims upon your +niece but that of friendship, and she is now in the house of an honest +man, Mr. Curling, where she proposes to continue as long as is +convenient.</p> + +<p>"It is true that your brother left a will, which his daughter burnt in +my presence, because she dreaded the authority which that will gave you, +not only over her property, but person. It is true that on leaving the +house she took away the money which was now her own, and which was +necessary to subsistence. It is true that I bore her company, and have +left her in an honest man's keeping. I am answerable for nothing more. +As to you, I meant not to injure you; I advised not the burning of the +will. I was a stranger, till after that event, to your character. I knew +neither good nor ill of you. I came to tell you all this, because, as +Eliza's uncle, you had a right to the information."</p> + +<p>"So! you come to tell me that she burnt the will, and is going to +administer—to what, I beseech you? To her father's property? Ay, I +warrant you. But take this along with you:—that property is mine; land, +house, stock, every thing. All is safe and snug under cover of a +mortgage, to which Billy was kind enough to add a bond. One was sued, +and the other <i>entered up</i>, a week ago. So that all is safe under my +thumb, and the girl may whistle or starve for me. I shall give myself no +concern about the strumpet. You thought to get a prize; but, damn me, +you've met with your match in me. Phil Haddin's not so easily choused, I +promise you. I intended to give you this news, and a drubbing into the +bargain; but you may go, and make haste. She burnt the will, did she, +because I was named in it,—and sent you to tell me so? Good souls! It +was kind of you, and I am bound to be thankful. Take her back news of +the mortgage; and, as for you, leave my house. You may go scot-free this +time; but I pledge my word for a sound beating when you next enter these +doors. I'll pay it to you with interest. Leave my house, I say!"</p> + +<p>"A mortgage," said I, in a low voice, and affecting not to hear his +commands; "that will be sad news for my friend. Why, sir, you are a +fortunate man. Malverton is an excellent spot; well watered and manured; +newly and completely fenced; not a larger barn in the county; oxen and +horses and cows in the best order; I never set eyes on a finer orchard. +By my faith, sir, you are a fortunate man. But, pray, what have you for +dinner? I am hungry as a wolf. Order me a beef-steak, and some potation +or other. The bottle there,—it is cider, I take it; pray, push it to +this side." Saying this, I stretched out my hand towards the bottle +which stood before him.</p> + +<p>I confided in the power of a fearless and sedate manner. Methought +that, as anger was the food of anger, it must unavoidably subside in a +contest with equability. This opinion was intuitive, rather than the +product of experience, and perhaps I gave no proof of my sagacity in +hazarding my safety on its truth. Hadwin's character made him dreaded +and obeyed by all. He had been accustomed to ready and tremulous +submission from men far more brawny and robust than I was, and to find +his most vehement menaces and gestures totally ineffectual on a being so +slender and diminutive at once wound up his rage and excited his +astonishment. One motion counteracted and suspended the other. He lifted +his hand, but delayed to strike. One blow, applied with his usual +dexterity, was sufficient to destroy me. Though seemingly careless, I +was watchful of his motions, and prepared to elude the stroke by +shrinking or stooping. Meanwhile, I stretched my hand far enough to +seize the bottle, and, pouring its contents into a tumbler, put it to my +lips:—</p> + +<p>"Come, sir, I drink your health, and wish you speedy possession of +Malverton. I have some interest with Eliza, and will prevail on her to +forbear all opposition and complaint. Why should she complain? While I +live, she shall not be a beggar. No doubt your claim is legal, and +therefore ought to be admitted. What the law gave, the law has taken +away. Blessed be the dispensers of law! Excellent cider! open another +bottle, will you, and, I beseech, hasten dinner, if you would not see me +devour the table."</p> + +<p>It was just, perhaps, to conjure up the demon avarice to fight with the +demon anger. Reason alone would, in such a contest, be powerless, but, +in truth, I spoke without artifice or disguise. If his claim were legal, +opposition would be absurd and pernicious. I meant not to rely upon his +own assertions, and would not acknowledge the validity of his claim till +I had inspected the deed. Having instituted suits, this was now in a +public office, and there the inspection should be made. Meanwhile, no +reason could be urged why I should part from him in anger, while his +kindred to Eliza, and his title to her property, made it useful to +secure his favour. It was possible to obtain a remission of his claims, +even when the law enforced them; it would be imprudent at least to +diminish the chances of remission by fostering his wrath and provoking +his enmity.</p> + +<p>"What!" he exclaimed, in a transport of fury, "a'n't I master of my own +house? Out, I say!"</p> + +<p>These were harsh terms, but they were not accompanied by gestures and +tones so menacing as those which had before been used. It was plain that +the tide, which so lately threatened my destruction, had begun to +recede. This encouraged me to persist.</p> + +<p>"Be not alarmed, my good friend," said I, placidly and smiling. "A man +of your bone need not fear a pigmy like me. I shall scarcely be able to +dethrone you in your own castle, with an army of hostlers, tapsters, and +cooks at your beck. You shall still be master here, provided you use +your influence to procure me a dinner."</p> + +<p>His acquiescence in a pacific system was extremely reluctant and +gradual. He laid aside one sullen tone and wrathful look after the +other; and, at length, consented not only to supply me with a dinner, +but to partake of it with me. Nothing was more a topic of surprise to +himself than his forbearance. He knew not how it was. He had never been +treated so before. He was not proof against entreaty and submission; but +I had neither supplicated nor submitted. The stuff that I was made of +was at once damnably tough and devilishly pliant. When he thought of my +impudence, in staying in his house after he had bade me leave it, he was +tempted to resume his passion. When he reflected on my courage, in +making light of his anger, notwithstanding his known impetuosity and my +personal inferiority, he could not withhold his esteem. But my patience +under his rebukes, my unalterable equanimity, and my ready consent to +the validity of his claims, soothed and propitiated him.</p> + +<p>An exemption from blows and abuse was all that I could gain from this +man. I told him the truth, with regard to my own history, so far as it +was connected with the Hadwins. I exhibited, in affecting colours, the +helpless condition of Eliza; but could extort from him nothing but his +consent that, if she chose, she might come and live with him. He would +give her victuals and clothes for so much house-work as she was able to +do. If she chose to live elsewhere, he promised not to molest her, or +intermeddle in her concerns. The house and land were his by law, and he +would have them.</p> + +<p>It was not my province to revile or expostulate with him. I stated what +measures would be adopted by a man who regarded the interest of others +more than his own; who was anxious for the welfare of an innocent girl, +connected with him so closely by the ties of kindred, and who was +destitute of what is called natural friends. If he did not cancel, for +her sake, his bond and mortgage, he would, at least, afford her a frugal +maintenance. He would extend to her, in all emergencies, his counsel and +protection.</p> + +<p>All that, he said, was sheer nonsense. He could not sufficiently wonder +at my folly, in proposing to him to make a free gift of a hundred rich +acres, to a girl too who scarcely knew her right hand from her left; +whom the first cunning young rogue like myself would <i>chouse</i> out of the +whole, and take herself into the bargain. But my folly was even +surpassed by my impudence, since, as the <i>friend</i> of this girl, I was +merely petitioning on my own account. I had come to him, whom I never +saw before, on whom I had no claim, and who, as I well knew, had reason +to think me a sharper, and modestly said, "Here's a girl who has no +fortune. I am greatly in want of one. Pray, give her such an estate that +you have in your possession. If you do, I'll marry her, and take it into +my own hands." I might be thankful that he did not answer such a +petition with a horse-whipping. But if he did not give her his estate, +he might extend to her, forsooth, his counsel and protection. "That I've +offered to do," continued he. "She may come and live in my house, if she +will. She may do some of the family work. I'll discharge the chambermaid +to make room for her. Lizzy, if I remember right, has a pretty face. She +can't have a better market for it than as chambermaid to an inn. If she +minds her p's and q's she may make up a handsome sum at the year's end."</p> + +<p>I thought it time to break off the conference; and, my dinner being +finished, took my leave, leaving behind me the character of <i>a queer +sort of chap</i>. I speeded to the prothonotary's office, which was kept in +the village, and quickly ascertained the truth of Hadwin's pretensions. +There existed a mortgage, with bond and warrant of attorney, to so great +an amount as would swallow up every thing at Malverton. Furnished with +these tidings, I prepared, with a drooping heart, to return to Mr. +Curling's.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XXXIV.</h3> + + +<p>This incident necessarily produced a change in my views with regard to +my friend. Her fortune consisted of a few hundreds of dollars, which, +frugally administered, might procure decent accommodation in the +country. When this was consumed, she must find subsistence in tending +the big wheel or the milk-pail, unless fortune should enable me to place +her in a more favourable situation. This state was, in some respects, +but little different from that in which she had spent the former part of +her life; but, in her father's house, these employments were dignified +by being, in some degree, voluntary, and relieved by frequent intervals +of recreation and leisure. Now they were likely to prove irksome and +servile, in consequence of being performed for hire and imposed by +necessity. Equality, parental solicitudes, and sisterly endearments, +would be wanting to lighten the yoke.</p> + +<p>These inconveniences, however, were imaginary. This was the school in +which fortitude and independence were to be learned. Habit, and the +purity of rural manners, would, likewise, create anew those ties which +death had dissolved. The affections of parent and sister would be +supplied by the fonder and more rational attachments of friendship. +These toils were not detrimental to beauty or health. What was to be +dreaded from them was their tendency to quench the spirit of liberal +curiosity; to habituate the person to bodily, rather than intellectual, +exertions; to supersede and create indifference or aversion to the only +instruments of rational improvement, the pen and the book.</p> + +<p>This evil, however, was at some distance from Eliza. Her present abode +was quiet and serene. Here she might enjoy domestic pleasures and +opportunities of mental improvement for the coming twelvemonth at least. +This period would, perhaps, be sufficient for the formation of studious +habits. What schemes should be adopted for this end would be determined +by the destiny to which I myself should be reserved.</p> + +<p>My path was already chalked out, and my fancy now pursued it with +uncommon pleasure. To reside in your family; to study your profession; +to pursue some subordinate or casual mode of industry, by which I might +purchase leisure for medical pursuits, for social recreations, and for +the study of mankind on your busy and thronged stage, was the scope of +my wishes. This destiny would not hinder punctual correspondence and +occasional visits to Eliza. Her pen might be called into action, and her +mind be awakened by books, and every hour be made to add to her stores +of knowledge and enlarge the bounds of her capacity.</p> + +<p>I was spiritless and gloomy when I left ——; but reflections on my +future lot, and just views of the situation of my friend, insensibly +restored my cheerfulness. I arrived at Mr. Curling's in the evening, and +hastened to impart to Eliza the issue of my commission. It gave her +uneasiness, merely as it frustrated the design, on which she had fondly +mused, of residing in the city. She was somewhat consoled by my promises +of being her constant correspondent and occasional visitor.</p> + +<p>Next morning I set out on my journey hither, on foot. The way was not +long; the weather, though cold, was wholesome and serene. My spirits +were high, and I saw nothing in the world before me but sunshine and +prosperity. I was conscious that my happiness depended not on the +revolutions of nature or the caprice of man. All without was, indeed, +vicissitude and uncertainty; but within my bosom was a centre not to be +shaken or removed. My purposes were honest and steadfast. Every sense +was the inlet of pleasure, because it was the avenue of knowledge; and +my soul brooded over the world to ideas, and glowed with exultation at +the grandeur and beauty of its own creations.</p> + +<p>This felicity was too rapturous to be of long duration. I gradually +descended from these heights; and the remembrance of past incidents, +connected with the images of your family, to which I was returning, led +my thoughts into a different channel. Welbeck and the unhappy girl whom +he had betrayed; Mrs. Villars and Wallace, were recollected anew. The +views which I had formed, for determining the fate and affording +assistance to Clemenza, were recalled. My former resolutions with regard +to her had been suspended by the uncertainty in which the fate of the +Hadwins was, at that time, wrapped. Had it not become necessary wholly +to lay aside these resolutions?</p> + +<p>That, indeed, was an irksome conclusion. No wonder that I struggled to +repel it; that I fostered the doubt whether money was the only +instrument of benefit; whether caution, and fortitude, and knowledge, +were not the genuine preservatives from evil. Had I not the means in my +hands of dispelling her fatal ignorance of Welbeck and of those with +whom she resided? Was I not authorized, by my previous though slender +intercourse, to seek her presence?</p> + +<p>Suppose I should enter Mrs. Villars's house, desire to be introduced to +the lady, accost her with affectionate simplicity, and tell her the +truth? Why be anxious to smooth the way? why deal in apologies, +circuities, and innuendoes? All these are feeble and perverse +refinements, unworthy of an honest purpose and an erect spirit. To +believe her inaccessible to my visit was absurd. To wait for the +permission of those whose interest it might be to shut out visitants was +cowardice. This was an infringement of her liberty which equity and law +equally condemned. By what right could she be restrained from +intercourse with others? Doors and passages may be between her and me. +With a purpose such as mine, no one had a right to close the one or +obstruct the other. Away with cowardly reluctances and clownish +scruples, and let me hasten this moment to her dwelling.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Villars is the portress of the mansion. She will probably present +herself before me, and demand the reason of my visit. What shall I say +to her? The truth. To falter, or equivocate, or dissemble to this woman +would be wicked. Perhaps her character has been misunderstood and +maligned. Can I render her a greater service than to apprize her of the +aspersions that have rested on it, and afford her the opportunity of +vindication? Perhaps she is indeed selfish and profligate; the betrayer +of youth and the agent of lasciviousness. Does she not deserve to know +the extent of her errors and the ignominy of her trade? Does she not +merit the compassion of the good and the rebukes of the wise? To shrink +from the task would prove me cowardly and unfirm. Thus far, at least, +let my courage extend.</p> + +<p>Alas! Clemenza is unacquainted with my language. My thoughts cannot make +themselves apparent but by words, and to my words she will be able to +affix no meaning. Yet is not that a hasty decision? The version from the +dramas of Zeno which I found in her toilet was probably hers, and proves +her to have a speculative knowledge of our tongue. Near half a year has +since elapsed, during which she has dwelt with talkers of English, and +consequently could not fail to have acquired it. This conclusion is +somewhat dubious, but experiment will give it certainty.</p> + +<p>Hitherto I had strolled along the path at a lingering pace. Time enough, +methought, to reach your threshold between sunrise and moonlight, if my +way had been three times longer than it was. You were the pleasing +phantom that hovered before me and beckoned me forward. What a total +revolution had occurred in the course of a few seconds! for thus long +did my reasonings with regard to Clemenza and the Villars require to +pass through my understanding, and escape, in half-muttered soliloquy, +from my lips. My muscles trembled with eagerness, and I bounded forward +with impetuosity. I saw nothing but a vista of catalpas, leafless, +loaded with icicles, and terminating in four chimneys and a painted +roof. My fancy outstripped my footsteps, and was busy in picturing faces +and rehearsing dialogues. Presently I reached this new object of my +pursuit, darted through the avenue, noticed that some windows of the +house were unclosed, drew thence a hasty inference that the house was +not without inhabitants, and knocked, quickly and loudly, for admission.</p> + +<p>Some one within crept to the door, opened it with seeming caution, and +just far enough to allow the face to be seen. It was the timid, pale, +and unwashed face of a girl who was readily supposed to be a servant, +taken from a cottage, and turned into a bringer of wood and water and a +scourer of tubs and trenches. She waited in timorous silence the +delivery of my message. Was Mrs. Villars at home?</p> + +<p>"No; she has gone to town."</p> + +<p>Were any of her daughters within?</p> + +<p>She could not tell; she believed—she thought—which did I want? Miss +Hetty or Miss Sally?</p> + +<p>"Let me see Miss Hetty." Saying this, I pushed gently against the door. +The girl, half reluctant, yielded way; I entered the passage, and, +putting my hand on the lock of a door that seemed to lead into a +parlour,—"Is Miss Hetty in this room?"</p> + +<p>No; there was nobody there.</p> + +<p>"Go call her, then. Tell her there is one who wishes to see her on +important business. I will wait for her coming in this room." So saying, +I opened the door, and entered the apartment, while the girl withdrew to +perform my message.</p> + +<p>The parlour was spacious and expensively furnished, but an air of +negligence and disorder was everywhere visible. The carpet was wrinkled +and unswept; a clock on the table, in a glass frame, so streaked and +spotted with dust as scarcely to be transparent, and the index +motionless, and pointing at four instead of nine; embers scattered on +the marble hearth, and tongs lying on the fender with the handle in the +ashes; a harpsichord, uncovered, one end loaded with <i>scores</i>, tumbled +together in a heap, and the other with volumes of novels and plays, some +on their edges, some on their backs, gaping open by the scorching of +their covers; rent; blurred; stained; blotted; dog-eared; tables awry; +chairs crowding each other; in short, no object but indicated the +neglect or the ignorance of domestic neatness and economy.</p> + +<p>My leisure was employed in surveying these objects, and in listening +for the approach of Miss Hetty. Some minutes elapsed, and no one came. A +reason for delay was easily imagined, and I summoned patience to wait. I +opened a book; touched the instrument; surveyed the vases on the +mantel-tree; the figures on the hangings, and the print of Apollo and +the Sibyl, taken from Salvator, and hung over the chimney. I eyed my own +shape and garb in the mirror, and asked how my rustic appearance would +be regarded by that supercilious and voluptuous being to whom I was +about to present myself.</p> + +<p>Presently the latch of the door was softly moved: it opened, and the +simpleton, before described, appeared. She spoke, but her voice was so +full of hesitation, and so near a whisper, that much attention was +needed to make out her words:—Miss Hetty was not at home; she was gone +to town with her <i>mistress</i>.</p> + +<p>This was a tale not to be credited. How was I to act? She persisted in +maintaining the truth of it.—"Well, then," said I, at length, "tell +Miss Sally that I wish to speak with her. She will answer my purpose +just as well."</p> + +<p>Miss Sally was not at home neither. She had gone to town too. They would +not be back, she did not know when; not till night, she supposed. It was +so indeed; none of them wasn't at home; none but she and Nanny in the +kitchen: indeed there wasn't.</p> + +<p>"Go tell Nanny to come here; I will leave my message with her." She +withdrew, but Nanny did not receive the summons, or thought proper not +to obey it. All was vacant and still.</p> + +<p>My state was singular and critical. It was absurd to prolong it; but to +leave the house with my errand unexecuted would argue imbecility and +folly. To ascertain Clemenza's presence in this house, and to gain an +interview, were yet in my power. Had I not boasted of my intrepidity in +braving denials and commands when they endeavoured to obstruct my +passage to this woman? But here were no obstacles nor prohibition. +Suppose the girl had said truth, that the matron and her daughters were +absent, and that Nanny and herself were the only guardians of the +mansion. So much the better. My design will not be opposed. I have only +to mount the stair, and go from one room to another till I find what I +seek.</p> + +<p>There was hazard, as well as plausibility, in this scheme. I thought it +best once more to endeavour to extort information from the girl, and +persuade her to be my guide to whomsoever the house contained. I put my +hand to the bell and rung a brisk peal. No one came. I passed into the +entry, to the foot of a staircase, and to a back-window. Nobody was +within hearing or sight.</p> + +<p>Once more I reflected on the rectitude of my intentions, on the +possibility that the girl's assertions might be true, on the benefits of +expedition, and of gaining access to the object of my visit without +interruption or delay. To these considerations was added a sort of +charm, not easily explained, and by no means justifiable, produced by +the very temerity and hazardness accompanying this attempt. I thought, +with scornful emotions, on the bars and hinderances which pride, and +caprice, and delusive maxims of decorum, raise in the way of human +intercourse. I spurned at these semblances and substitutes of honesty, +and delighted to shake such fetters into air and trample such +impediments to dust. I wanted to see a human being, in order to promote +her happiness. It was doubtful whether she was within twenty paces of +the spot where I stood. The doubt was to be solved. How? By examining +the space. I forthwith proceeded to examine it. I reached the second +story. I approached a door that was closed. I knocked. After a pause, a +soft voice said, "Who is there?"</p> + +<p>The accents were as musical as those of Clemenza, but were in other +respects different. I had no topic to discuss with this person. I +answered not, yet hesitated to withdraw. Presently the same voice was +again heard:—"What is it you want? Why don't you answer? Come in!" I +complied with the command, and entered the room.</p> + +<p>It was deliberation and foresight that led me hither, and not chance or +caprice. Hence, instead of being disconcerted or vanquished by the +objects that I saw, I was tranquil and firm. My curiosity, however, made +me a vigilant observer. Two females, arrayed with voluptuous negligence, +in a manner adapted to the utmost seclusion, and seated in a careless +attitude on a sofa, were now discovered.</p> + +<p>Both darted glances at the door. One, who appeared to be the youngest, +no sooner saw me, than she shrieked, and, starting from her seat, +betrayed in the looks which she successively cast upon me, on herself, +and on the chamber, whose apparatus was in no less confusion than that +of the apartment below, her consciousness of the unseasonableness of +this meeting.</p> + +<p>The other shrieked likewise, but in her it seemed to be the token of +surprise rather than that of terror. There was, probably, somewhat in my +aspect and garb that suggested an apology for this intrusion, as arising +from simplicity and mistake. She thought proper, however, to assume the +air of one offended, and, looking sternly,—"How now, fellow," said she, +"what is this? Why come you hither?"</p> + +<p>This questioner was of mature age, but had not passed the period of +attractiveness and grace. All the beauty that nature had bestowed was +still retained, but the portion had never been great. What she possessed +was so modelled and embellished by such a carriage and dress as to give +it most power over the senses of the gazer. In proportion, however, as +it was intended and adapted to captivate those who know none but +physical pleasures, it was qualified to breed distaste and aversion in +me.</p> + +<p>I am sensible how much error may have lurked in this decision. I had +brought with me the belief of their being unchaste; and seized, perhaps +with too much avidity, any appearance that coincided with my +prepossessions. Yet the younger by no means inspired the same disgust; +though I had no reason to suppose her more unblemished than the elder. +Her modesty seemed unaffected, and was by no means satisfied, like that +of the elder, with defeating future curiosity. The consciousness of what +had already been exposed filled her with confusion, and she would have +flown away, if her companion had not detained her by some degree of +force. "What ails the girl? There's nothing to be frightened at. +Fellow!" she repeated, "what brings you here?"</p> + +<p>I advanced and stood before them. I looked steadfastly, but, I believe, +with neither effrontery nor anger, on the one who addressed me. I spoke +in a tone serious and emphatical. "I come for the sake of speaking to a +woman who formerly resided in this house, and probably resides here +still. Her name is Clemenza Lodi. If she be here, I request you to +conduct me to her instantly."</p> + +<p>Methought I perceived some inquietude, a less imperious and more +inquisitive air, in this woman, on hearing the name of Clemenza. It was +momentary, and gave way to peremptory looks. "What is your business with +her? And why did you adopt this mode of inquiry? A very extraordinary +intrusion! Be good enough to leave the chamber. Any questions proper to +be answered will be answered below."</p> + +<p>"I meant not to intrude or offend. It was not an idle or impertinent +motive that led me hither. I waited below for some time after soliciting +an audience of you through the servant. She assured me you were absent, +and laid me under the necessity of searching for Clemenza Lodi myself, +and without a guide. I am anxious to withdraw, and request merely to be +directed to the room which she occupies."</p> + +<p>"I direct you," replied she, in a more resolute tone, "to quit the room +and the house."</p> + +<p>"Impossible, madam," I replied, still looking at her earnestly; "leave +the house without seeing her! You might as well enjoin me to pull the +Andes on my head!—to walk barefoot to Pekin! Impossible!"</p> + +<p>Some solicitude was now mingled with her anger. "This is strange +insolence! unaccountable behaviour!—begone from my room! will you +compel me to call the gentlemen?"</p> + +<p>"Be not alarmed," said I, with augmented mildness. There was, indeed, +compassion and sorrow at my heart, and these must have somewhat +influenced my looks. "Be not alarmed. I came to confer a benefit, not to +perpetrate an injury. I came not to censure or expostulate with you, +but merely to counsel and aid a being that needs both; all I want is to +see her. In this chamber I sought not you, but her. Only lead me to her, +or tell me where she is. I will then rid you of my presence."</p> + +<p>"Will you compel me to call those who will punish this insolence as it +deserves?"</p> + +<p>"Dearest madam! I compel you to nothing. I merely supplicate. I would +ask you to lead me to these gentlemen, if I did not know that there are +none but females in the house. It is you who must receive and comply +with my petition. Allow me a moment's interview with Clemenza Lodi. +Compliance will harm you not, but will benefit her. What is your +objection?"</p> + +<p>"This is the strangest proceeding! the most singular conduct! Is this a +place fit to parley with you? I warn you of the consequence of staying a +moment longer. Depend upon it, you will sorely repent it."</p> + +<p>"You are obdurate," said I, and turned towards the younger, who listened +to this discourse in tremors and panic. I took her hand with an air of +humility and reverence. "Here," said I, "there seems to be purity, +innocence, and condescension. I took this house to be the temple of +voluptuousness. Females I expected to find in it, but such only as +traded in licentious pleasures; specious, perhaps not destitute of +talents, beauty, and address, but dissolute and wanton, sensual and +avaricious; yet in this countenance and carriage there are tokens of +virtue. I am born to be deceived, and the semblance of modesty is +readily assumed. Under this veil, perhaps, lurk a tainted heart and +depraved appetites. Is it so?"</p> + +<p>She made me no answer, but somewhat in her looks seemed to evince that +my favourable prepossessions were just. I noticed likewise that the +alarm of the elder was greatly increased by this address to her +companion. The thought suddenly occurred that this girl might be in +circumstances not unlike those of Clemenza Lodi; that she was not +apprized of the character of her associates, and might by this meeting +be rescued from similar evils.</p> + +<p>This suspicion filled me with tumultuous feelings. Clemenza was for a +time forgotten. I paid no attention to the looks or demeanour of the +elder, but was wholly occupied in gazing on the younger. My anxiety to +know the truth gave pathos and energy to my tones while I spoke:—</p> + +<p>"Who, where, what are you? Do you reside in this house? Are you a sister +or daughter in this family, or merely a visitant? Do you know the +character, profession, and views of your companions? Do you deem them +virtuous, or know them to be profligate? Speak! tell me, I beseech you!"</p> + +<p>The maiden confusion which had just appeared in the countenance of this +person now somewhat abated. She lifted her eyes, and glanced by turns at +me and at her who sat by her side. An air of serious astonishment +overspread her features, and she seemed anxious for me to proceed. The +elder, meanwhile, betrayed the utmost alarm, again upbraided my +audacity, commanded me to withdraw, and admonished me of the danger I +incurred by lingering.</p> + +<p>I noticed not her interference, but again entreated to know of the +younger her true state. She had no time to answer me, supposing her not +to want the inclination, for every pause was filled by the clamorous +importunities and menaces of the other. I began to perceive that my +attempts were useless to this end, but the chief and most estimable +purpose was attainable. It was in my power to state the knowledge I +possessed, through your means, of Mrs. Villars and her daughters. This +information might be superfluous, since she to whom it was given might +be one of this licentious family. The contrary, however, was not +improbable, and my tidings, therefore, might be of the utmost moment to +her safety.</p> + +<p>A resolute and even impetuous manner reduced my incessant interrupter to +silence. What I had to say, I compressed in a few words, and adhered to +perspicuity and candour with the utmost care. I still held the hand that +I had taken, and fixed my eyes upon her countenance with a steadfastness +that hindered her from lifting her eyes.</p> + +<p>"I know you not; whether you be dissolute or chaste, I cannot tell. In +either case, however, what I am going to say will be useful. Let me +faithfully repeat what I have heard. It is mere rumour, and I vouch not +for its truth. Rumour as it is, I submit it to your judgment, and hope +that it may guide you into paths of innocence and honour.</p> + +<p>"Mrs. Villars and her three daughters are Englishwomen, who supported +for a time an unblemished reputation, but who, at length, were suspected +of carrying on the trade of prostitution. This secret could not be +concealed forever. The profligates who frequented their house betrayed +them. One of them, who died under their roof, after they had withdrawn +from it into the country, disclosed to his kinsman, who attended his +death-bed, their genuine character.</p> + +<p>"The dying man likewise related incidents in which I am deeply +concerned. I have been connected with one by name Welbeck. In his house +I met an unfortunate girl, who was afterwards removed to Mrs. Villars's. +Her name was Clemenza Lodi. Residence in this house, under the control +of a woman like Mrs. Villars and her daughters, must be injurious to her +innocence, and from this control I now come to rescue her."</p> + +<p>I turned to the elder, and continued,—"By all that is sacred, I adjure +you to tell me whether Clemenza Lodi be under this roof! If she be not, +whither has she gone? To know this I came hither, and any difficulty or +reluctance in answering will be useless; till an answer be obtained, I +will not go hence."</p> + +<p>During this speech, anger had been kindling in the bosom of this woman. +It now burst upon me in a torrent of opprobrious epithets. I was a +villain, a calumniator, a thief. I had lurked about the house, till +those whose sex and strength enabled them to cope with me had gone. I +had entered these doors by fraud. I was a wretch, guilty of the last +excesses of insolence and insult.</p> + +<p>To repel these reproaches, or endure them, was equally useless. The +satisfaction that I sought was only to be gained by searching the house. +I left the room without speaking. Did I act illegally in passing from +one story and one room to another? Did I really deserve the imputations +of rashness and insolence? My behaviour, I well know, was ambiguous and +hazardous, and perhaps wanting in discretion, but my motives were +unquestionably pure. I aimed at nothing but the rescue of a human +creature from distress and dishonour.</p> + +<p>I pretend not to the wisdom of experience and age; to the praise of +forethought or subtlety. I choose the obvious path, and pursue it with +headlong expedition. Good intentions, unaided by knowledge, will, +perhaps, produce more injury than benefit, and therefore knowledge must +be gained, but the acquisition is not momentary; is not bestowed unasked +and untoiled for. Meanwhile, we must not be inactive because we are +ignorant. Our good purposes must hurry to performance, whether our +knowledge be greater or less.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XXXV.</h3> + + +<p>To explore the house in this manner was so contrary to ordinary rules, +that the design was probably wholly unsuspected by the women whom I had +just left. My silence, at parting, might have been ascribed by them to +the intimidating influence of invectives and threats. Hence I proceeded +in my search without interruption.</p> + +<p>Presently I reached a front chamber in the third story. The door was +ajar. I entered it on tiptoe. Sitting on a low chair by the fire, I +beheld a female figure, dressed in a negligent but not indecent manner. +Her face, in the posture in which she sat, was only half seen. Its hues +were sickly and pale, and in mournful unison with a feeble and emaciated +form. Her eyes were fixed upon a babe that lay stretched upon a pillow +at her feet. The child, like its mother, for such she was readily +imagined to be, was meagre and cadaverous. Either it was dead, or could +not be very distant from death.</p> + +<p>The features of Clemenza were easily recognised, though no contrast +could be greater, in habit and shape and complexion, than that which her +present bore to her former appearance. All her roses had faded, and her +brilliancies vanished. Still, however, there was somewhat fitted to +awaken the tenderest emotions. There were tokens of inconsolable +distress.</p> + +<p>Her attention was wholly absorbed by the child. She lifted not her eyes +till I came close to her and stood before her. When she discovered me, a +faint start was perceived. She looked at me for a moment, then, putting +one spread hand before her eyes, she stretched out the other towards the +door, and waving it in silence, as if to admonish me to depart.</p> + +<p>This motion, however emphatical, I could not obey. I wished to obtain +her attention, but knew not in what words to claim it. I was silent. In +a moment she removed her hand from her eyes, and looked at me with new +eagerness. Her features bespoke emotions which, perhaps, flowed from my +likeness to her brother, joined with the memory of my connection with +Welbeck.</p> + +<p>My situation was full of embarrassment. I was by no means certain that +my language would be understood. I knew not in what light the policy and +dissimulation of Welbeck might have taught her to regard me. What +proposal, conducive to her comfort and her safety, could I make to her?</p> + +<p>Once more she covered her eyes, and exclaimed, in a feeble voice, "Go +away! begone!"</p> + +<p>As if satisfied with this effort, she resumed her attention to her +child. She stooped and lifted it in her arms, gazing, meanwhile, on its +almost lifeless features with intense anxiety. She crushed it to her +bosom, and, again looking at me, repeated, "Go away! go away! begone!"</p> + +<p>There was somewhat in the lines of her face, in her tones and gestures, +that pierced to my heart. Added to this, was my knowledge of her +condition; her friendlessness; her poverty; the pangs of unrequited +love; and her expiring infant. I felt my utterance choked, and my tears +struggling for passage. I turned to the window, and endeavoured to +regain my tranquillity.</p> + +<p>"What was it," said I, "that brought me hither? The perfidy of Welbeck +must surely have long since been discovered. What can I tell her of the +Villars which she does not already know, or of which the knowledge will +be useful? If their treatment has been just, why should I detract from +their merit? If it has been otherwise, their own conduct will have +disclosed their genuine character. Though voluptuous themselves, it does +not follow that they have laboured to debase this creature. Though +wanton, they may not be inhuman.</p> + +<p>"I can propose no change in her condition for the better. Should she be +willing to leave this house, whither is it in my power to conduct her? +Oh that I were rich enough to provide food for the hungry, shelter for +the houseless, and raiment for the naked!"</p> + +<p>I was roused from these fruitless reflections by the lady, whom some +sudden thought induced to place the child in its bed, and, rising, to +come towards me. The utter dejection which her features lately betrayed +was now changed for an air of anxious curiosity. "Where," said she, in +her broken English,—"where is Signor Welbeck?"</p> + +<p>"Alas!" returned I, "I know not. That question might, I thought, with +more propriety be put to you than me."</p> + +<p>"I know where he be; I fear where he be."</p> + +<p>So saying, the deepest sighs burst from her heart. She turned from me, +and, going to the child, took it again into her lap. Its pale and sunken +cheek was quickly wet with the mother's tears, which, as she silently +hung over it, dropped fast from her eyes.</p> + +<p>This demeanour could not but awaken curiosity, while it gave a new turn +to my thoughts. I began to suspect that in the tokens which I saw there +was not only distress for her child, but concern for the fate of +Welbeck. "Know you," said I, "where Mr. Welbeck is? Is he alive? Is he +near? Is he in calamity?"</p> + +<p>"I do not know if he be alive. He be sick. He be in prison. They will +not let me go to him. And"—here her attention and mine was attracted by +the infant, whose frame, till now motionless, began to be tremulous. Its +features sunk into a more ghastly expression. Its breathings were +difficult, and every effort to respire produced a convulsion harder than +the last.</p> + +<p>The mother easily interpreted these tokens. The same mortal struggle +seemed to take place in her features as in those of her child. At length +her agony found way in a piercing shriek. The struggle in the infant was +past. Hope looked in vain for a new motion in its heart or its eyelids. +The lips were closed, and its breath was gone forever!</p> + +<p>The grief which overwhelmed the unhappy parent was of that outrageous +and desperate kind which is wholly incompatible with thinking. A few +incoherent motions and screams, that rent the soul, were followed by a +deep swoon. She sunk upon the floor, pale and lifeless as her babe.</p> + +<p>I need not describe the pangs which such a scene was adapted to produce +in me. These were rendered more acute by the helpless and ambiguous +situation in which I was placed. I was eager to bestow consolation and +succour, but was destitute of all means. I was plunged into +uncertainties and doubts. I gazed alternately at the infant and its +mother. I sighed. I wept. I even sobbed. I stooped down and took the +lifeless hand of the sufferer. I bathed it with my tears, and exclaimed, +"Ill-fated woman! unhappy mother! what shall I do for thy relief? How +shall I blunt the edge of this calamity, and rescue thee from new +evils?"</p> + +<p>At this moment the door of the apartment was opened, and the younger of +the women whom I had seen below entered. Her looks betrayed the deepest +consternation and anxiety. Her eyes in a moment were fixed by the +decayed form and the sad features of Clemenza. She shuddered at this +spectacle, but was silent. She stood in the midst of the floor, +fluctuating and bewildered. I dropped the hand that I was holding, and +approached her.</p> + +<p>"You have come," said I, "in good season. I know you not, but will +believe you to be good. You have a heart, it may be, not free from +corruption, but it is still capable of pity for the miseries of others. +You have a hand that refuses not its aid to the unhappy. See; there is +an infant dead. There is a mother whom grief has, for a time, deprived +of life. She has been oppressed and betrayed; been robbed of property +and reputation—but not of innocence. She is worthy of relief. Have you +arms to receive her? Have you sympathy, protection, and a home to bestow +upon a forlorn, betrayed, and unhappy stranger? I know not what this +house is; I suspect it to be no better than a brothel. I know not what +treatment this woman has received. When her situation and wants are +ascertained, will you supply her wants? Will you rescue her from evils +that may attend her continuance here?"</p> + +<p>She was disconcerted and bewildered by this address. At length she +said, "All that has happened, all that I have heard and seen, is so +unexpected, so strange, that I am amazed and distracted. Your behaviour +I cannot comprehend, nor your motive for making this address to me. I +cannot answer you, except in one respect. If this woman has suffered +injury, I have had no part in it. I knew not of her existence nor her +situation till this moment; and whatever protection or assistance she +may justly claim, I am both able and willing to bestow. I do not live +here, but in the city. I am only an occasional visitant in this house."</p> + +<p>"What, then!" I exclaimed, with sparkling eyes and a rapturous accent, +"you are not profligate; are a stranger to the manners of this house, +and a detester of these manners? Be not a deceiver, I entreat you. I +depend only on your looks and professions, and these may be dissembled."</p> + +<p>These questions, which indeed argued a childish simplicity, excited her +surprise. She looked at me, uncertain whether I was in earnest or in +jest. At length she said, "Your language is so singular, that I am at a +loss how to answer it. I shall take no pains to find out its meaning, +but leave you to form conjectures at leisure. Who is this woman, and how +can I serve her?" After a pause, she continued:—"I cannot afford her +any immediate assistance, and shall not stay a moment longer in this +house. There" (putting a card in my hand) "is my name and place of +abode. If you shall have any proposals to make, respecting this woman, I +shall be ready to receive them in my own house." So saying, she +withdrew.</p> + +<p>I looked wistfully after her, but could not but assent to her assertion, +that her presence here would be more injurious to her than beneficial to +Clemenza. She had scarcely gone, when the elder woman entered. There was +rage, sullenness, and disappointment in her aspect. These, however, were +suspended by the situation in which she discovered the mother and child. +It was plain that all the sentiments of woman were not extinguished in +her heart. She summoned the servants and seemed preparing to take such +measures as the occasion prescribed. I now saw the folly of supposing +that these measures would be neglected, and that my presence could not +essentially contribute to the benefit of the sufferer. Still, however, I +lingered in the room, till the infant was covered with a cloth, and the +still senseless parent was conveyed into an adjoining chamber. The woman +then, as if she had not seen me before, fixed scowling eyes upon me, and +exclaimed, "Thief! villain! why do you stay here?"</p> + +<p>"I mean to go," said I, "but not till I express my gratitude and +pleasure at the sight of your attention to this sufferer. You deem me +insolent and perverse, but I am not such; and hope that the day will +come when I shall convince you of my good intentions."</p> + +<p>"Begone!" interrupted she, in a more angry tone. "Begone this moment, or +I will treat you as a thief." She now drew forth her hand from under her +gown, and showed a pistol. "You shall see," she continued, "that I will +not be insulted with impunity. If you do not vanish, I will shoot you as +a robber."</p> + +<p>This woman was far from wanting a force and intrepidity worthy of a +different sex. Her gestures and tones were full of energy. They denoted +a haughty and indignant spirit. It was plain that she conceived herself +deeply injured by my conduct; and was it absolutely certain that her +anger was without reason? I had loaded her house with atrocious +imputations, and these imputations might be false. I had conceived them +upon such evidence as chance had provided; but this evidence, intricate +and dubious as human actions and motives are, might be void of truth.</p> + +<p>"Perhaps," said I, in a sedate tone, "I have injured you; I have +mistaken your character. You shall not find me less ready to repair, +than to perpetrate, this injury. My error was without malice, and——"</p> + +<p>I had not time to finish the sentence, when this rash and enraged woman +thrust the pistol close to my head and fired it. I was wholly unaware +that her fury would lead her to this excess. It was a sort of mechanical +impulse that made me raise my hand and attempt to turn aside the +weapon. I did this deliberately and tranquilly, and without conceiving +that any thing more was intended by her movement than to intimidate me. +To this precaution, however, I was indebted for life. The bullet was +diverted from my forehead to my left ear, and made a slight wound upon +the surface, from which the blood gushed in a stream.</p> + +<p>The loudness of this explosion, and the shock which the ball produced in +my brain, sunk me into a momentary stupor. I reeled backward, and should +have fallen, had not I supported myself against the wall. The sight of +my blood instantly restored her reason. Her rage disappeared, and was +succeeded by terror and remorse. She clasped her hands, and exclaimed, +"Oh! what! what have I done? My frantic passion has destroyed me."</p> + +<p>I needed no long time to show me the full extent of the injury which I +had suffered and the conduct which it became me to adopt. For a moment I +was bewildered and alarmed, but presently perceived that this was an +incident more productive of good than of evil. It would teach me caution +in contending with the passions of another, and showed me that there is +a limit which the impetuosities of anger will sometimes overstep. +Instead of reviling my companion, I addressed myself to her thus:—</p> + +<p>"Be not frighted. You have done me no injury, and, I hope, will derive +instruction from this event. Your rashness had like to have sacrificed +the life of one who is your friend, and to have exposed yourself to +infamy and death, or, at least, to the pangs of eternal remorse. Learn +from hence to curb your passions, and especially to keep at a distance +from every murderous weapon, on occasions when rage is likely to take +place of reason.</p> + +<p>"I repeat that my motives in entering this house were connected with +your happiness as well as that of Clemenza Lodi. If I have erred in +supposing you the member of a vile and pernicious trade, that error was +worthy of being rectified, but violence and invective tend only to +confirm it. I am incapable of any purpose that is not beneficent; but, +in the means that I use and in the evidence on which I proceed, I am +liable to a thousand mistakes. Point out to me the road by which I can +do you good, and I will cheerfully pursue it."</p> + +<p>Finding that her fears had been groundless as to the consequences of her +rashness, she renewed, though with less vehemence than before, her +imprecations on my intermeddling and audacious folly. I listened till +the storm was nearly exhausted, and then, declaring my intention to +revisit the house if the interest of Clemenza should require it, I +resumed my way to the city.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XXXVI.</h3> + + +<p>"Why," said I, as I hasted forward, "is my fortune so abundant in +unforeseen occurrences? Is every man who leaves his cottage and the +impressions of his infancy behind him ushered into such a world of +revolutions and perils as have trammelled my steps? or is my scene +indebted for variety and change to my propensity to look into other +people's concerns, and to make their sorrows and their joys mine?</p> + +<p>"To indulge an adventurous spirit, I left the precincts of the +barn-door, enlisted in the service of a stranger, and encountered a +thousand dangers to my virtue under the disastrous influence of Welbeck. +Afterwards my life was set at hazard in the cause of Wallace, and now am +I loaded with the province of protecting the helpless Eliza Hadwin and +the unfortunate Clemenza. My wishes are fervent, and my powers shall not +be inactive in their defence; but how slender are these powers!</p> + +<p>"In the offers of the unknown lady there is, indeed, some consolation +for Clemenza. It must be my business to lay before my friend Stevens the +particulars of what has befallen me, and to entreat his directions how +this disconsolate girl may be most effectually succoured. It may be wise +to take her from her present abode, and place her under some chaste and +humane guardianship, where she may gradually lose remembrance of her +dead infant and her specious betrayer. The barrier that severs her from +Welbeck must be high as heaven and insuperable as necessity.</p> + +<p>"But, soft! Talked she not of Welbeck? Said she not that he was in +prison and was sick? Poor wretch! I thought thy course was at an end; +that the penalty of guilt no longer weighed down thy heart; that thy +misdeeds and thy remorses were buried in a common and obscure grave; but +it seems thou art still alive.</p> + +<p>"Is it rational to cherish the hope of thy restoration to innocence and +peace? Thou art no obdurate criminal; hadst thou less virtue, thy +compunctions would be less keen. Wert thou deaf to the voice of duty, +thy wanderings into guilt and folly would be less fertile of anguish. +The time will perhaps come, when the measure of thy transgressions and +calamities will overflow, and the folly of thy choice will be too +conspicuous to escape thy discernment. Surely, even for such +transgressors as thou, there is a salutary power in the precepts of +truth and the lessons of experience.</p> + +<p>"But thou art imprisoned and art sick. This, perhaps, is the crisis of +thy destiny. Indigence and dishonour were the evils to shun which thy +integrity and peace of mind have been lightly forfeited. Thou hast found +that the price was given in vain; that the hollow and deceitful +enjoyments of opulence and dignity were not worth the purchase; and +that, frivolous and unsubstantial as they are, the only path that leads +to them is that of honesty and diligence. Thou art in prison and art +sick; and there is none to cheer thy hour with offices of kindness, or +uphold thy fainting courage by the suggestions of good counsel. For such +as thou the world has no compassion. Mankind will pursue thee to the +grave with execrations. Their cruelty will be justified or palliated, +since they know thee not. They are unacquainted with the goadings of thy +conscience and the bitter retributions which thou art daily suffering. +They are full of their own wrongs, and think only of those tokens of +exultation and complacency which thou wast studious of assuming in thy +intercourse with them. It is I only that thoroughly know thee and can +rightly estimate thy claims to compassion.</p> + +<p>"I have somewhat partaken of thy kindness, and thou meritest some +gratitude at my hands. Shall I not visit and endeavour to console thee +in thy distress? Let me, at least, ascertain thy condition, and be the +instrument in repairing the wrongs which thou hast inflicted. Let me +gain, from the contemplation of thy misery, new motives to sincerity and +rectitude."</p> + +<p>While occupied by these reflections, I entered the city. The thoughts +which engrossed my mind related to Welbeck. It is not my custom to defer +till to-morrow what can be done to-day. The destiny of man frequently +hangs upon the lapse of a minute. "I will stop," said I, "at the prison; +and, since the moment of my arrival may not be indifferent, I will go +thither with all possible haste." I did not content myself with walking, +but, regardless of the comments of passengers, hurried along the way at +full speed.</p> + +<p>Having inquired for Welbeck, I was conducted through a dark room, +crowded with beds, to a staircase. Never before had I been in a prison. +Never had I smelt so noisome an odour, or surveyed faces so begrimed +with filth and misery. The walls and floors were alike squalid and +detestable. It seemed that in this house existence would be bereaved of +all its attractions; and yet those faces, which could be seen through +the obscurity that encompassed them, were either void of care or +distorted with mirth.</p> + +<p>"This," said I, as I followed my conductor, "is the residence of +Welbeck. What contrasts are these to the repose and splendour, pictured +walls, glossy hangings, gilded sofas, mirrors that occupied from ceiling +to floor, carpets of Tauris, and the spotless and transcendent +brilliancy of coverlets and napkins, in thy former dwelling! Here +brawling and the shuffling of rude feet are eternal. The air is loaded +with the exhalations of disease and the fumes of debauchery. Thou art +cooped up in airless space, and, perhaps, compelled to share thy narrow +cell with some stupid ruffian. Formerly, the breezes were courted by thy +lofty windows. Aromatic shrubs were scattered on thy hearth. Menials, +splendid in apparel, showed their faces with diffidence in thy +apartment, trod lightly on thy marble floor, and suffered not the +sanctity of silence to be troubled by a whisper. Thy lamp shot its rays +through the transparency of alabaster, and thy fragrant lymph flowed +from vases of porcelain. Such were formerly the decorations of thy +hall, the embellishments of thy existence; but now—alas!—--"</p> + +<p>We reached a chamber in the second story. My conductor knocked at the +door. No one answered. Repeated knocks were unheard or unnoticed by the +person within. At length, lifting a latch, we entered together.</p> + +<p>The prisoner lay upon the bed, with his face turned from the door. I +advanced softly, making a sign to the keeper to withdraw. Welbeck was +not asleep, but merely buried in reverie. I was unwilling to disturb his +musing, and stood with my eyes fixed upon his form. He appeared +unconscious that any one had entered.</p> + +<p>At length, uttering a deep sigh, he changed his posture, and perceived +me in my motionless and gazing attitude. Recollect in what circumstances +we had last parted. Welbeck had, no doubt, carried away with him from +that interview a firm belief that I should speedily die. His prognostic, +however, was fated to be contradicted.</p> + +<p>His first emotions were those of surprise. These gave place to +mortification and rage. After eyeing me for some time, he averted his +glances, and that effort which is made to dissipate some obstacle to +breathing showed me that his sensations were of the most excruciating +kind. He laid his head upon the pillow, and sunk into his former musing. +He disdained, or was unable, to utter a syllable of welcome or contempt.</p> + +<p>In the opportunity that had been afforded me to view his countenance, I +had observed tokens of a kind very different from those which used to be +visible. The gloomy and malignant were more conspicuous. Health had +forsaken his cheeks, and taken along with it those flexible parts which +formerly enabled him to cover his secret torments and insidious purposes +beneath a veil of benevolence and cheerfulness. "Alas!" said I, loud +enough for him to hear me, "here is a monument of ruin. Despair and +mischievous passions are too deeply rooted in this heart for me to tear +them away."</p> + +<p>These expressions did not escape his notice. He turned once more and +cast sullen looks upon me. There was somewhat in his eyes that made me +shudder. They denoted that his reverie was not that of grief, but of +madness. I continued, in a less steadfast voice than before:—</p> + +<p>"Unhappy Clemenza! I have performed thy message. I have visited him that +is sick and in prison. Thou hadst cause for anguish and terror, even +greater cause than thou imaginedst. Would to God that thou wouldst be +contented with the report which I shall make; that thy misguided +tenderness would consent to leave him to his destiny, would suffer him +to die alone; but that is a forbearance which no eloquence that I +possess will induce thee to practise. Thou must come, and witness for +thyself."</p> + +<p>In speaking thus, I was far from foreseeing the effects which would be +produced on the mind of Welbeck. I was far from intending to instil into +him a belief that Clemenza was near at hand, and was preparing to enter +his apartment; yet no other images but these would, perhaps, have roused +him from his lethargy, and awakened that attention which I wished to +awaken. He started up, and gazed fearfully at the door.</p> + +<p>"What!" he cried. "What! Is she here? Ye powers, that have scattered +woes in my path, spare me the sight of her! But from this agony I will +rescue myself. The moment she appears I will pluck out these eyes and +dash them at her feet."</p> + +<p>So saying, he gazed with augmented eagerness upon the door. His hands +were lifted to his head, as if ready to execute his frantic purpose. I +seized his arm and besought him to lay aside his terror, for that +Clemenza was far distant. She had no intention, and besides was unable, +to visit him.</p> + +<p>"Then I am respited. I breathe again. No; keep her from a prison. Drag +her to the wheel or to the scaffold; mangle her with stripes; torture +her with famine; strangle her child before her face, and cast it to the +hungry dogs that are howling at the gate; but—keep her from a prison. +Never let her enter these doors." There he stopped; his eyes being fixed +on the floor, and his thoughts once more buried in reverie. I +resumed:—</p> + +<p>"She is occupied with other griefs than those connected with the fate of +Welbeck. She is not unmindful of you; she knows you to be sick and in +prison; and I came to do for you whatever office your condition might +require, and I came at her suggestion. She, alas! has full employment +for her tears in watering the grave of her child."</p> + +<p>He started. "What! dead? Say you that the child is dead?"</p> + +<p>"It is dead. I witnessed its death. I saw it expire in the arms of its +mother; that mother whom I formerly met under your roof blooming and +gay, but whom calamity has tarnished and withered. I saw her in the +raiment of poverty, under an accursed roof: desolate; alone; unsolaced +by the countenance or sympathy of human beings; approached only by those +who mock at her distress, set snares for her innocence, and push her to +infamy. I saw her leaning over the face of her dying babe."</p> + +<p>Welbeck put his hands to his head, and exclaimed, "Curses on thy lips, +infernal messenger! Chant elsewhere thy rueful ditty! Vanish! if thou +wouldst not feel in thy heart fangs red with blood less guilty than +thine."</p> + +<p>Till this moment the uproar in Welbeck's mind appeared to hinder him +from distinctly recognising his visitant. Now it seemed as if the +incidents of our last interview suddenly sprung up in his remembrance.</p> + +<p>"What! This is the villain that rifled my cabinet, the maker of my +poverty and of all the evils which it has since engendered! That has led +me to a prison! Execrable fool! you are the author of the scene that you +describe, and of horrors without number and name. To whatever crimes I +have been urged since that interview, and the fit of madness that made +you destroy my property, they spring from your act; they flowed from +necessity, which, had you held your hand at that fateful moment, would +never have existed.</p> + +<p>"How dare you thrust yourself upon my privacy? Why am I not alone? Fly! +and let my miseries want, at least, the aggravation of beholding their +author. My eyes loathe the sight of thee! My heart would suffocate thee +with its own bitterness! Begone!"</p> + +<p>"I know not," I answered, "why innocence should tremble at the ravings +of a lunatic; why it should be overwhelmed by unmerited reproaches! Why +it should not deplore the errors of its foe, labour to correct those +errors, and——"</p> + +<p>"Thank thy fate, youth, that my hands are tied up by my scorn; thank thy +fate that no weapon is within reach. Much has passed since I saw thee, +and I am a new man. I am no longer inconstant and cowardly. I have no +motives but contempt to hinder me from expiating the wrongs which thou +hast done me in thy blood. I disdain to take thy life. Go; and let thy +fidelity, at least, to the confidence which I have placed in thee, be +inviolate. Thou hast done me harm enough, but canst do, if thou wilt, +still more. Thou canst betray the secrets that are lodged in thy bosom, +and rob me of the comfort of reflecting that my guilt is known but to +one among the living."</p> + +<p>This suggestion made me pause, and look back upon the past. I had +confided this man's tale to you. The secrecy on which he so fondly +leaned was at an end. Had I acted culpably or not?</p> + +<p>But why should I ruminate, with anguish and doubt, upon the past? The +future was within my power, and the road of my duty was too plain to be +mistaken. I would disclose to Welbeck the truth, and cheerfully +encounter every consequence. I would summon my friend to my aid, and +take his counsel in the critical emergency in which I was placed. I +ought not to rely upon myself alone in my efforts to benefit this being, +when another was so near whose discernment and benevolence, and +knowledge of mankind, and power of affording relief, were far superior +to mine.</p> + +<p>Influenced by these thoughts, I left the apartment without speaking; +and, procuring pen and paper, despatched to you the billet which brought +about our meeting.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XXXVII.</h3> + + +<p>Mervyn's auditors allowed no pause in their attention to this story. +Having ended, a deep silence took place. The clock which stood upon the +mantel had sounded twice the customary <i>larum</i>, but had not been heard +by us. It was now struck a third time. It was <i>one</i>. Our guest appeared +somewhat startled at this signal, and looked, with a mournful sort of +earnestness, at the clock. There was an air of inquietude about him +which I had never observed in an equal degree before.</p> + +<p>I was not without much curiosity respecting other incidents than those +which had just been related by him; but, after so much fatigue as he had +undergone, I thought it improper to prolong the conversation.</p> + +<p>"Come," said I, "my friend, let us to bed. This is a drowsy time, and, +after so much exercise of mind and body, you cannot but need some +repose. Much has happened in your absence, which is proper to be known +to you; but our discourse will be best deferred till to-morrow. I will +come into your chamber by day-dawn, and unfold to you particulars."</p> + +<p>"Nay," said he, "withdraw not on my account. If I go to my chamber, it +will not be to sleep, but to meditate, especially after your assurance +that something of moment has occurred in my absence. My thoughts, +independently of any cause of sorrow or fear, have received an impulse +which solitude and darkness will not stop. It is impossible to know too +much for our safety and integrity, or to know it too soon. What has +happened?"</p> + +<p>I did not hesitate to comply with his request, for it was not difficult +to conceive that, however tired the limbs might be, the adventures of +this day would not be easily expelled from the memory at night. I told +him the substance of the conversation with Mrs. Althorpe. He smiled at +those parts of the narrative which related to himself; but when his +father's depravity and poverty were mentioned, he melted into tears.</p> + +<p>"Poor wretch! I, that knew thee in thy better days, might have easily +divined this consequence. I foresaw thy poverty and degradation in the +same hour that I left thy roof. My soul drooped at the prospect, but I +said, It cannot be prevented, and this reflection was an antidote to +grief; but, now that thy ruin is complete, it seems as if some of it +were imputable to me, who forsook thee when the succour and counsel of a +son were most needed. Thou art ignorant and vicious, but thou art my +father still. I see that the sufferings of a better man than thou art +would less afflict me than thine. Perhaps it is still in my power to +restore thy liberty and good name, and yet—that is a fond wish. Thou +art past the age when the ignorance and grovelling habits of a human +being are susceptible of cure." There he stopped, and, after a gloomy +pause, continued:—</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>I am not surprised or afflicted at the misconceptions of my neighbours +with relation to my own character. Men must judge from what they see; +they must build their conclusions on their knowledge. I never saw in the +rebukes of my neighbours any thing but laudable abhorrence of vice. They +were too eager to blame, to collect materials of censure rather than of +praise. It was not me whom they hated and despised. It was the phantom +that passed under my name, which existed only in their imagination, and +which was worthy of all their scorn and all their enmity.</p> + +<p>What I appeared to be in their eyes was as much the object of my own +disapprobation as of theirs. Their reproaches only evinced the rectitude +of their decisions, as well as of my own. I drew from them new motives +to complacency. They fortified my perseverance in the path which I had +chosen as best; they raised me higher in my own esteem; they heightened +the claims of the reproachers themselves to my respect and my +gratitude.</p> + +<p>They thought me slothful, incurious, destitute of knowledge and of all +thirst of knowledge, insolent, and profligate. They say that in the +treatment of my father I have been ungrateful and inhuman. I have stolen +his property, and deserted him in his calamity. Therefore they hate and +revile me. It is well; I love them for these proofs of their discernment +and integrity. Their indignation at wrong is the truest test of their +virtue.</p> + +<p>It is true that they mistake me, but that arises from the circumstances +of our mutual situation. They examined what was exposed to their view, +they grasped at what was placed within their reach. To decide contrary +to appearances, to judge from what they knew not, would prove them to be +brutish and not rational, would make their decision of no worth, and +render them, in their turn, objects of neglect and contempt.</p> + +<p>It is true that I hated school; that I sought occasions of absence, and +finally, on being struck by the master, determined to enter his presence +no more. I loved to leap, to run, to swim, to climb trees and to clamber +up rocks, to shroud myself in thickets and stroll among woods, to obey +the impulse of the moment, and to prate or be silent, just as my humour +prompted me. All this I loved more than to go to and fro in the same +path, and at stated hours to look off and on a book, to read just as +much and of such a kind, to stand up and be seated, just as another +thought proper to direct. I hated to be classed, cribbed, rebuked, and +feruled at the pleasure of one who, as it seemed to me, knew no guide in +his rewards but caprice, and no prompter in his punishments but passion.</p> + +<p>It is true that I took up the spade and the hoe as rarely, and for as +short a time, as possible. I preferred to ramble in the forest and +loiter on the hill; perpetually to change the scene; to scrutinize the +endless variety of objects; to compare one leaf and pebble with another; +to pursue those trains of thought which their resemblances and +differences suggested; to inquire what it was that gave them this place, +structure, and form, were more agreeable employments than ploughing and +threshing.</p> + +<p>My father could well afford to hire labour. What my age and my +constitution enabled me to do could be done by a sturdy boy, in half the +time, with half the toil, and with none of the reluctance. The boy was a +bond-servant, and the cost of his clothing and food was next to nothing. +True it is, that my service would have saved him even this expense, but +my motives for declining the effort were not hastily weighed or +superficially examined. These were my motives.</p> + +<p>My frame was delicate and feeble. Exposure to wet blasts and vertical +suns was sure to make me sick. My father was insensible to this +consequence; and no degree of diligence would please him but that which +would destroy my health. My health was dearer to my mother than to me. +She was more anxious to exempt me from possible injuries than reason +justified; but anxious she was, and I could not save her from anxiety +but by almost wholly abstaining from labour. I thought her peace of mind +was of some value, and that, if the inclination of either of my parents +must be gratified at the expense of the other, the preference was due to +the woman who bore me; who nursed me in disease; who watched over my +safety with incessant tenderness; whose life and whose peace were +involved in mine. I should have deemed myself brutish and obdurately +wicked to have loaded her with fears and cares merely to smooth the brow +of a froward old man, whose avarice called on me to sacrifice my ease +and my health, and who shifted to other shoulders the province of +sustaining me when sick, and of mourning for me when dead.</p> + +<p>I likewise believed that it became me to reflect upon the influence of +my decision on my own happiness; and to weigh the profits flowing to my +father from my labour, against the benefits of mental exercise, the +pleasures of the woods and streams, healthful sensations, and the luxury +of musing. The pecuniary profit was petty and contemptible. It obviated +no necessity. It purchased no rational enjoyment. It merely provoked, by +furnishing the means of indulgence, an appetite from which my father was +not exempt. It cherished the seeds of depravity in him, and lessened the +little stock of happiness belonging to my mother.</p> + +<p>I did not detain you long, my friends, in portraying my parents, and +recounting domestic incidents, when I first told you my story. What had +no connection with the history of Welbeck and with the part that I have +acted upon this stage I thought it proper to omit. My omission was +likewise prompted by other reasons. My mind is enervated and feeble, +like my body. I cannot look upon the sufferings of those I love without +exquisite pain. I cannot steel my heart by the force of reason, and by +submission to necessity; and, therefore, too frequently employ the +cowardly expedient of endeavouring to forget what I cannot remember +without agony.</p> + +<p>I told you that my father was sober and industrious by habit; but habit +is not uniform. There were intervals when his plodding and tame spirit +gave place to the malice and fury of a demon. Liquors were not sought by +him; but he could not withstand entreaty, and a potion that produced no +effect upon others changed him into a maniac.</p> + +<p>I told you that I had a sister, whom the arts of a villain destroyed. +Alas! the work of her destruction was left unfinished by him. The blows +and contumelies of a misjudging and implacable parent, who scrupled not +to thrust her, with her new-born infant, out of doors; the curses and +taunts of unnatural brothers, left her no alternative but death.——But +I must not think of this; I must not think of the wrongs which my mother +endured in the person of her only and darling daughter.</p> + +<p>My brothers were the copyists of the father, whom they resembled in +temper and person. My mother doted on her own image in her daughter and +in me. This daughter was ravished from her by self-violence, and her +other children by disease. I only remained to appropriate her affections +and fulfil her hopes. This alone had furnished a sufficient reason why I +should be careful of my health and my life, but my father's character +supplied me with a motive infinitely more cogent.</p> + +<p>It is almost incredible, but nevertheless true, that the only being +whose presence and remonstrances had any influence on my father, at +moments when his reason was extinct, was myself. As to my personal +strength, it was nothing; yet my mother's person was rescued from +brutal violence; he was checked, in the midst of his ferocious career, +by a single look or exclamation from me. The fear of my rebukes had even +some influence in enabling him to resist temptation. If I entered the +tavern at the moment when he was lifting the glass to his lips, I never +weighed the injunctions of decorum, but, snatching the vessel from his +hand, I threw it on the ground. I was not deterred by the presence of +others; and their censures on my want of filial respect and duty were +listened to with unconcern. I chose not to justify myself by expatiating +on domestic miseries, and by calling down that pity on my mother which I +knew would only have increased her distress.</p> + +<p>The world regarded my deportment as insolent and perverse to a degree of +insanity. To deny my father an indulgence which they thought harmless, +and which, indeed, was harmless in its influence on other men; to +interfere thus publicly with his social enjoyments, and expose him to +mortification and shame, was loudly condemned; but my duty to my mother +debarred me from eluding this censure on the only terms on which it +could have been eluded. Now it has ceased to be necessary to conceal +what passed in domestic retirements, and I should willingly confess the +truth before any audience.</p> + +<p>At first my father imagined that threats and blows would intimidate his +monitor. In this he was mistaken, and the detection of this mistake +impressed him with an involuntary reverence for me, which set bounds to +those excesses which disdained any other control. Hence I derived new +motives for cherishing a life which was useful, in so many ways, to my +mother.</p> + +<p>My condition is now changed. I am no longer on that field to which the +law, as well as reason, must acknowledge that I had some right, while +there was any in my father. I must hazard my life, if need be, in the +pursuit of the means of honest subsistence. I never spared myself while +in the service of Mr. Hadwin; and, at a more inclement season, should +probably have incurred some hazard by my diligence.</p> + +<p>These were the motives of my <i>idleness</i>,—for my abstaining from the +common toils of the farm passed by that name among my neighbours; +though, in truth, my time was far from being wholly unoccupied by manual +employments, but these required less exertion of body or mind, or were +more connected with intellectual efforts. They were pursued in the +seclusion of my chamber or the recesses of a wood. I did not labour to +conceal them, but neither was I anxious to attract notice. It was +sufficient that the censure of my neighbours was unmerited, to make me +regard it with indifference.</p> + +<p>I sought not the society of persons of my own age, not from sullen or +unsociable habits, but merely because those around me were totally +unlike myself. Their tastes and occupations were incompatible with mine. +In my few books, in my pen, in the vegetable and animal existences +around me, I found companions who adapted their visits and intercourse +to my convenience and caprice, and with whom I was never tired of +communing.</p> + +<p>I was not unaware of the opinion which my neighbours had formed of my +being improperly connected with Betty Lawrence. I am not sorry that I +fell into company with that girl. Her intercourse has instructed me in +what some would think impossible to be attained by one who had never +haunted the impure recesses of licentiousness in a city. The knowledge +which a residence in this town for ten years gave her audacious and +inquisitive spirit she imparted to me. Her character, profligate and +artful, libidinous and impudent, and made up of the impressions which a +city life had produced on her coarse but active mind, was open to my +study, and I studied it.</p> + +<p>I scarcely know how to repel the charge of illicit conduct, and to +depict the exact species of intercourse subsisting between us. I always +treated her with freedom, and sometimes with gayety. I had no motives to +reserve. I was so formed that a creature like her had no power over my +senses. That species of temptation adapted to entice me from the true +path was widely different from the artifices of Betty. There was no +point at which it was possible for her to get possession of my fancy. I +watched her while she practised all her tricks and blandishments, as I +regarded a similar deportment in the <i>animal salax ignavumque</i> who +inhabits the sty. I made efforts to pursue my observations +unembarrassed; but my efforts were made, not to restrain desire, but to +suppress disgust. The difficulty lay, not in withholding my caresses, +but in forbearing to repulse her with rage.</p> + +<p>Decorum, indeed, was not outraged, and all limits were not overstepped +at once. Dubious advances were employed; but, when found unavailing, +were displaced by more shameless and direct proceedings. She was too +little versed in human nature to see that her last expedient was always +worse than the preceding; and that, in proportion as she lost sight of +decency, she multiplied the obstacles to her success.</p> + +<p>Betty had many enticements in person and air. She was ruddy, smooth, and +plump. To these she added—I must not say what, for it is strange to +what lengths a woman destitute of modesty will sometimes go. But, all +her artifices availing her not at all in the contest with my +insensibilities, she resorted to extremes which it would serve no good +purpose to describe in this audience. They produced not the consequences +she wished, but they produced another which was by no means displeasing +to her. An incident one night occurred, from which a sagacious observer +deduced the existence of an intrigue. It was useless to attempt to +rectify his mistake by explaining appearances in a manner consistent +with my innocence. This mode of explication implied a <i>continence</i> in me +which he denied to be possible. The standard of possibilities, +especially in vice and virtue, is fashioned by most men after their own +character. A temptation which this judge of human nature knew that <i>he</i> +was unable to resist, he sagely concluded to be irresistible by any +other man, and quickly established the belief among my neighbours, that +the woman who married the father had been prostituted to the son. Though +I never admitted the truth of this aspersion, I believed it useless to +deny, because no one would credit my denial, and because I had no power +to disprove it.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XXXVIII.</h3> + + +<p>What other inquiries were to be resolved by our young friend, we were +now, at this late hour, obliged to postpone till the morrow. I shall +pass over the reflections which a story like this would naturally +suggest, and hasten to our next interview.</p> + +<p>After breakfast next morning, the subject of last night's conversation +was renewed. I told him that something had occurred in his absence, in +relation to Mrs. Wentworth and her nephew, that had perplexed us not a +little. "My information is obtained," continued I, "from Wortley; and it +is nothing less than that young Clavering, Mrs. Wentworth's nephew, is, +at this time, actually alive."</p> + +<p>Surprise, but none of the embarrassment of guilt, appeared in his +countenance at these tidings. He looked at me as if desirous that I +should proceed.</p> + +<p>"It seems," added I, "that a letter was lately received by this lady +from the father of Clavering, who is now in Europe. This letter reports +that this son was lately met with in Charleston, and relates the means +which old Mr. Clavering had used to prevail upon his son to return home; +means, of the success of which he entertained well-grounded hopes. What +think you?"</p> + +<p>"I can only reject it," said he, after some pause, "as untrue. The +father's correspondent may have been deceived. The father may have been +deceived, or the father may conceive it necessary to deceive the aunt, +or some other supposition as to the source of the error may be true; but +an error it surely is. Clavering is not alive. I know the chamber where +he died, and the withered pine under which he lies buried."</p> + +<p>"If she be deceived," said I, "it will be impossible to rectify her +error."</p> + +<p>"I hope not. An honest front and a straight story will be sufficient."</p> + +<p>"How do you mean to act?"</p> + +<p>"Visit her, without doubt, and tell her the truth. My tale will be too +circumstantial and consistent to permit her to disbelieve."</p> + +<p>"She will not hearken to you. She is too strongly prepossessed against +you to admit you even to a hearing."</p> + +<p>"She cannot help it. Unless she lock her door against me, or stuff her +ears with wool, she must hear me. Her prepossessions are reasonable, but +are easily removed by telling the truth. Why does she suspect me of +artifice? Because I seemed to be allied to Welbeck, and because I +disguised the truth. That she thinks ill of me is not her fault, but my +misfortune; and, happily for me, a misfortune easily removed."</p> + +<p>"Then you will try to see her?"</p> + +<p>"I will see her, and the sooner the better. I will see her to-day; this +morning; as soon as I have seen Welbeck, whom I shall immediately visit +in his prison."</p> + +<p>"There are other embarrassments and dangers of which you are not aware. +Welbeck is pursued by many persons whom he has defrauded of large sums. +By these persons you are deemed an accomplice in his guilt, and a +warrant is already in the hands of officers for arresting you wherever +you are found."</p> + +<p>"In what way," said Mervyn, sedately, "do they imagine me a partaker of +his crime?"</p> + +<p>"I know not. You lived with him. You fled with him. You aided and +connived at his escape."</p> + +<p>"Are these crimes?"</p> + +<p>"I believe not, but they subject you to suspicion."</p> + +<p>"To arrest and to punishment?"</p> + +<p>"To detention for a while, perhaps. But these alone cannot expose you to +punishment."</p> + +<p>"I thought so. Then I have nothing to fear."</p> + +<p>"You have imprisonment and obloquy, at least, to dread."</p> + +<p>"True; but they cannot be avoided but by my exile and skulking out of +sight,—evils infinitely more formidable. I shall, therefore, not avoid +them. The sooner my conduct is subjected to scrutiny, the better. Will +you go with me to Welbeck?"</p> + +<p>"I will go with you."</p> + +<p>Inquiring for Welbeck of the keeper of the prison, we were informed that +he was in his own apartment, very sick. The physician attending the +prison had been called, but the prisoner had preserved an obstinate and +scornful silence; and had neither explained his condition, nor consented +to accept any aid.</p> + +<p>We now went alone into his apartment. His sensibility seemed fast +ebbing, yet an emotion of joy was visible in his eyes at the appearance +of Mervyn. He seemed likewise to recognise in me his late visitant, and +made no objection to my entrance.</p> + +<p>"How are you this morning?" said Arthur, seating himself on the bedside, +and taking his hand. The sick man was scarcely able to articulate his +reply:—"I shall soon be well. I have longed to see you. I want to leave +with you a few words." He now cast his languid eyes on me. "You are his +friend," he continued. "You know all. You may stay."</p> + +<p>There now succeeded a long pause, during which he closed his eyes, and +resigned himself as if to an oblivion of all thought. His pulse under my +hand was scarcely perceptible. From this in some minutes he recovered, +and, fixing his eyes on Mervyn, resumed, in a broken and feeble +accent:—</p> + +<p>"Clemenza! You have seen her. Weeks ago, I left her in an accursed +house; yet she has not been mistreated. Neglected and abandoned indeed, +but not mistreated. Save her, Mervyn. Comfort her. Awaken charity for +her sake.</p> + +<p>"I cannot tell you what has happened. The tale would be too long,—too +mournful. Yet, in justice to the living, I must tell you something. My +woes and my crimes will be buried with me. Some of them, but not all.</p> + +<p>"Ere this, I should have been many leagues upon the ocean, had not a +newspaper fallen into my hands while on the eve of embarkation. By that +I learned that a treasure was buried with the remains of the ill-fated +Watson. I was destitute. I was unjust enough to wish to make this +treasure my own. Prone to think I was forgotten, or numbered with the +victims of pestilence, I ventured to return under a careless disguise. I +penetrated to the vaults of that deserted dwelling by night. I dug up +the bones of my friend, and found the girdle and its valuable contents, +according to the accurate description that I had read.</p> + +<p>"I hastened back with my prize to Baltimore, but my evil destiny +overtook me at last. I was recognised by emissaries of Jamieson, +arrested and brought hither, and here shall I consummate my fate and +defeat the rage of my creditors by death. But first——"</p> + +<p>Here Welbeck stretched out his left hand to Mervyn, and, after some +reluctance, showed a roll of lead.</p> + +<p>"Receive this," said he. "In the use of it, be guided by your honesty +and by the same advertisement that furnished me the clue by which to +recover it. That being secured, the world and I will part forever. +Withdraw, for your presence can help me nothing."</p> + +<p>We were unwilling to comply with his injunction, and continued some +longer time in his chamber; but our kind intent availed nothing. He +quickly relapsed into insensibility, from which he recovered not again, +but next day expired. Such, in the flower of his age, was the fate of +Thomas Welbeck.</p> + +<p>Whatever interest I might feel in accompanying the progress of my young +friend, a sudden and unforeseen emergency compelled me again to leave +the city. A kinsman, to whom I was bound by many obligations, was +suffering a lingering disease, and, imagining, with some reason, his +dissolution to be not far distant, he besought my company and my +assistance, to soothe, at least, the agonies of his last hour. I was +anxious to clear up the mysteries which Arthur's conduct had produced, +and to shield him, if possible, from the evils which I feared awaited +him. It was impossible, however, to decline the invitation of my +kinsman, as his residence was not a day's journey from the city. I was +obliged to content myself with occasional information, imparted by +Mervyn's letters or those of my wife.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile, on leaving the prison, I hasted to inform Mervyn of the true +nature of the scene which had just passed. By this extraordinary +occurrence, the property of the Maurices was now in honest hands. +Welbeck, stimulated by selfish motives, had done that which any other +person would have found encompassed with formidable dangers and +difficulties. How this attempt was suggested or executed, he had not +informed us, nor was it desirable to know. It was sufficient that the +means of restoring their own to a destitute and meritorious family were +now in our possession.</p> + +<p>Having returned home, I unfolded to Mervyn all the particulars +respecting Williams and the Maurices which I had lately learned from +Wortley. He listened with deep attention, and, my story being finished, +he said, "In this small compass, then, is the patrimony and subsistence +of a numerous family. To restore it to them is the obvious +proceeding—but how? Where do they abide?"</p> + +<p>"Williams and Watson's wife live in Baltimore, and the Maurices live +near that town. The advertisements alluded to by Wortley, and which are +to be found in any newspaper, will inform us; but, first, are we sure +that any or all of these bills are contained in this covering?"</p> + +<p>The lead was now unrolled, and the bills which Williams had described +were found enclosed. Nothing appeared to be deficient. Of this, however, +we were scarcely qualified to judge. Those that were the property of +Williams might not be entire, and what would be the consequence of +presenting them to him, if any had been embezzled by Welbeck?</p> + +<p>This difficulty was obviated by Mervyn, who observed that the +advertisement describing these bills would afford us ample information +on this head. "Having found out where the Maurices and Mrs. Watson live, +nothing remains but to visit them, and put an end, as far as lies in my +power, to their inquietudes."</p> + +<p>"What! Would you go to Baltimore?"</p> + +<p>"Certainly. Can any other expedient be proper? How shall I otherwise +insure the safe conveyance of these papers?"</p> + +<p>"You may send them by post."</p> + +<p>"But why not go myself?"</p> + +<p>"I can hardly tell, unless your appearance on such an errand may be +suspected likely to involve you in embarrassments."</p> + +<p>"What embarrassments? If they receive their own, ought they not to be +satisfied?"</p> + +<p>"The inquiry will naturally be made as to the manner of gaining +possession of these papers. They were lately in the hands of Watson, but +Watson has disappeared. Suspicions are awake respecting the cause of his +disappearance. These suspicions are connected with Welbeck, and +Welbeck's connection with you is not unknown."</p> + +<p>"These are evils, but I see not how an ingenious and open conduct is +adapted to increase these evils. If they come, I must endure them."</p> + +<p>"I believe your decision is right. No one is so skilful an advocate in a +cause, as he whose cause it is. I rely upon your skill and address, and +shall leave you to pursue your own way. I must leave you for a time, but +shall expect to be punctually informed of all that passes." With this +agreement we parted, and I hastened to perform my intended journey.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XXXIX.</h3> + + +<p>I am glad, my friend, thy nimble pen has got so far upon its journey. +What remains of my story may be despatched in a trice. I have just now +some vacant hours, which might possibly be more usefully employed, but +not in an easier manner or more pleasant. So, let me carry on thy +thread.</p> + +<p>First, let me mention the resolutions I had formed at the time I parted +with my friend. I had several objects in view. One was a conference with +Mrs. Wentworth; another was an interview with her whom I met with at +Villars's. My heart melted when I thought upon the desolate condition of +Clemenza, and determined me to direct my first efforts for her relief. +For this end I was to visit the female who had given me a direction to +her house. The name of this person is Achsa Fielding, and she lived, +according to her own direction, at No. 40 Walnut Street.</p> + +<p>I went thither without delay. She was not at home. Having gained +information from the servant as to when she might be found, I proceeded +to Mrs. Wentworth's. In going thither my mind was deeply occupied in +meditation; and, with my usual carelessness of forms, I entered the +house and made my way to the parlour, where an interview had formerly +taken place between us.</p> + +<p>Having arrived, I began, though somewhat unseasonably, to reflect upon +the topics with which I should introduce my conversation, and +particularly the manner in which I should introduce myself. I had opened +doors without warning, and traversed passages without being noticed. +This had arisen from my thoughtlessness. There was no one within hearing +or sight. What was next to be done? Should I not return softly to the +outer door, and summon the servant by knocking?</p> + +<p>Preparing to do this, I heard a footstep in the entry which suspended my +design. I stood in the middle of the floor, attentive to these +movements, when presently the door opened, and there entered the +apartment Mrs. Wentworth herself! She came, as it seemed, without +expectation of finding any one there. When, therefore, the figure of a +man caught her vagrant attention, she started and cast a hasty look +towards me.</p> + +<p>"Pray!" (in a peremptory tone,) "how came you here, sir? and what is +your business?"</p> + +<p>Neither arrogance, on the one hand, nor humility, upon the other, had +any part in modelling my deportment. I came not to deprecate anger, or +exult over distress. I answered, therefore, distinctly, firmly, and +erectly,—</p> + +<p>"I came to see you, madam, and converse with you; but, being busy with +other thoughts, I forgot to knock at the door. No evil was intended by +my negligence, though propriety has certainly not been observed. Will +you pardon this intrusion, and condescend to grant me your attention?"</p> + +<p>"To what? What have you to say to me? I know you only as the accomplice +of a villain in an attempt to deceive me. There is nothing to justify +your coming hither, and I desire you to leave the house with as little +ceremony as you entered it."</p> + +<p>My eyes were lowered at this rebuke, yet I did not obey the command. +"Your treatment of me, madam, is such as I appear to you to deserve. +Appearances are unfavourable to me, but those appearances are false. I +have concurred in no plot against your reputation or your fortune. I +have told you nothing but the truth. I came hither to promote no selfish +or sinister purpose. I have no favour to entreat, and no petition to +offer, but that you will suffer me to clear up those mistakes which you +have harboured respecting me.</p> + +<p>"I am poor. I am destitute of fame and of kindred. I have nothing to +console me in obscurity and indigence, but the approbation of my own +heart and the good opinion of those who know me as I am. The good may be +led to despise and condemn me. Their aversion and scorn shall not make +me unhappy; but it is my interest and my duty to rectify their error if +I can. I regard your character with esteem. You have been mistaken in +condemning me as a liar and impostor, and I came to remove this mistake. +I came, if not to procure your esteem, at least to take away hatred and +suspicion.</p> + +<p>"But this is not all my purpose. You are in an error in relation not +only to my character, but to the situation of your nephew Clavering. I +formerly told you, that I saw him die; that I assisted at his burial: +but my tale was incoherent and imperfect, and you have since received +intelligence to which you think proper to trust, and which assures you +that he is still living. All I now ask is your attention, while I relate +the particulars of my knowledge.</p> + +<p>"Proof of my veracity or innocence may be of no value in your eyes, but +the fate of your nephew ought to be known to you. Certainty, on this +head, may be of much importance to your happiness, and to the regulation +of your future conduct. To hear me patiently can do you no injury, and +may benefit you much. Will you permit me to go on?"</p> + +<p>During this address, little abatement of resentment and scorn was +visible in my companion.</p> + +<p>"I will hear you," she replied. "Your invention may amuse if it does not +edify. But, I pray you, let your story be short."</p> + +<p>I was obliged to be content with this ungraceful concession, and +proceeded to begin my narration. I described the situation of my +father's dwelling. I mentioned the year, month, day, and hour of her +nephew's appearance among us. I expatiated minutely on his form, +features, dress, sound of his voice, and repeated his words. His +favourite gestures and attitudes were faithfully described.</p> + +<p>I had gone but a little way in my story, when the effects were visible +in her demeanour which I expected from it. Her knowledge of the youth, +and of the time and manner of his disappearance, made it impossible for +me, with so minute a narrative, to impose upon her credulity. Every +word, every incident related, attested my truth, by their agreement with +what she herself previously knew.</p> + +<p>Her suspicious and angry watchfulness was quickly exchanged for downcast +looks, and stealing tears, and sighs difficultly repressed. Meanwhile, I +did not pause, but described the treatment he received from my mother's +tenderness, his occupations, the freaks of his insanity, and, finally, +the circumstances of his death and funeral.</p> + +<p>Thence I hastened to the circumstances which brought me to the city; +which placed me in the service of Welbeck, and obliged me to perform so +ambiguous a part in her presence. I left no difficulty to be solved, and +no question unanticipated.</p> + +<p>"I have now finished my story," I continued, "and accomplished my design +in coming hither. Whether I have vindicated my integrity from your +suspicions, I know not. I have done what in me lay to remove your error; +and, in that, have done my duty. What more remains? Any inquiries you +are pleased to make, I am ready to answer. If there be none to make, I +will comply with your former commands, and leave the house with as +little ceremony as I entered it."</p> + +<p>"Your story," she replied, "has been unexpected. I believe it fully, and +am sorry for the hard thoughts which past appearances have made me +entertain concerning you."</p> + +<p>Here she sunk into mournful silence. "The information," she at length +resumed, "which I have received from another quarter respecting that +unfortunate youth, astonishes and perplexes me. It is inconsistent with +your story, but it must be founded on some mistake, which I am, at +present, unable to unravel. Welbeck, whose connection has been so +unfortunate to you——"</p> + +<p>"Unfortunate! Dear madam! How unfortunate? It has done away a part of my +ignorance of the world in which I live. It has led me to the situation +in which I am now placed. It has introduced me to the knowledge of many +good people. It has made me the witness and the subject of many acts of +beneficence and generosity. My knowledge of Welbeck has been useful to me. +It has enabled me to be useful to others. I look back upon that allotment +of my destiny which first led me to his door, with gratitude and pleasure.</p> + +<p>"Would to heaven," continued I, somewhat changing my tone, "intercourse +with Welbeck had been as harmless to all others as it has been to me! +that no injury to fortune and fame, and innocence and life, had been +incurred by others greater than has fallen upon my head! There is one +being, whose connection with him has not been utterly dissimilar in its +origin and circumstances to mine, though the catastrophe has, indeed, +been widely and mournfully different.</p> + +<p>"And yet, within this moment, a thought has occurred from which I derive +some consolation and some hope. You, dear madam, are rich. These +spacious apartments, this plentiful accommodation, are yours. You have +enough for your own gratification and convenience, and somewhat to +spare. Will you take to your protecting arms, to your hospitable roof, +an unhappy girl whom the arts of Welbeck have robbed of fortune, +reputation, and honour, who is now languishing in poverty, weeping over +the lifeless remains of her babe, surrounded by the agents of vice, and +trembling on the verge of infamy?"</p> + +<p>"What can this mean?" replied the lady. "Of whom do you speak?"</p> + +<p>"You shall know her. You shall be apprized of her claims to your +compassion. Her story, as far as is known to me, I will faithfully +repeat to you. She is a stranger; an Italian; her name is Clemenza +Lodi."</p> + +<p>"Clemenza Lodi! Good heaven!" exclaimed Mrs. Wentworth; "why, surely—it +cannot be. And yet—is it possible that you are that person?"</p> + +<p>"I do not comprehend you, madam."</p> + +<p>"A friend has related a transaction of a strange sort. It is scarcely an +hour since she told it me. The name of Clemenza Lodi was mentioned in +it, and a young man of most singular deportment was described. But tell +me how you were engaged on Thursday morning."</p> + +<p>"I was coming to this city from a distance. I stopped ten minutes at the +house of——"</p> + +<p>"Mrs. Villars?"</p> + +<p>"The same. Perhaps you know her and her character. Perhaps you can +confirm or rectify my present opinions concerning her. It is there that +the unfortunate Clemenza abides. It is thence that I wish her to be +speedily removed."</p> + +<p>"I have heard of you; of your conduct upon that occasion."</p> + +<p>"Of me?" answered I, eagerly. "Do you know that woman?" So saying, I +produced the card which I had received from her, and on which her name +was written.</p> + +<p>"I know her well. She is my countrywoman and my friend."</p> + +<p>"Your friend? Then she is good; she is innocent; she is generous. Will +she be a sister, a protectress, to Clemenza? Will you exhort her to a +deed of charity? Will you be, yourself, an example of beneficence? +Direct me to Miss Fielding, I beseech you. I have called on her already, +but in vain, and there is no time to be lost."</p> + +<p>"Why are you so precipitate? What would you do?"</p> + +<p>"Take her away from that house instantly—bring her hither—place her +under your protection—give her Mrs. Wentworth for a counsellor—a +friend—a mother. Shall I do this? Shall I hie thither to-day, this very +hour—now? Give me your consent, and she shall be with you before noon."</p> + +<p>"By no means," replied she, with earnestness. "You are too hasty. An +affair of so much importance cannot be despatched in a moment. There are +many difficulties and doubts to be first removed."</p> + +<p>"Let them be reserved for the future. Withhold not your helping hand +till the struggle has disappeared forever. Think on the gulf that is +already gaping to swallow her. This is no time to hesitate and falter. I +will tell you her story, but not now; we will postpone it till +to-morrow, and first secure her from impending evils. She shall tell it +you herself. In an hour I will bring her hither, and she herself shall +recount to you her sorrows. Will you let me?"</p> + +<p>"Your behaviour is extraordinary. I can scarcely tell whether this +simplicity be real or affected. One would think that your common sense +would show you the impropriety of your request. To admit under my roof a +woman notoriously dishonoured, and from an infamous house——"</p> + +<p>"My dearest madam! How can you reflect upon the situation without +irresistible pity? I see that you are thoroughly aware of her past +calamity and her present danger. Do not these urge you to make haste to +her relief? Can any lot be more deplorable than hers? Can any state be +more perilous? Poverty is not the only evil that oppresses or that +threatens her. The scorn of the world, and her own compunction, the +death of the fruit of her error and the witness of her shame, are not +the worst. She is exposed to the temptations of the profligate; while +she remains with Mrs. Villars, her infamy accumulates; her further +debasement is facilitated; her return to reputation and to virtue is +obstructed by new bars."</p> + +<p>"How know I that her debasement is not already complete and +irremediable? She is a mother, but not a wife. How came she thus? Is her +being Welbeck's prostitute no proof of her guilt?"</p> + +<p>"Alas! I know not. I believe her not very culpable; I know her to be +unfortunate; to have been robbed and betrayed. You are a stranger to her +history. I am myself imperfectly acquainted with it.</p> + +<p>"But let me tell you the little that I know. Perhaps my narrative may +cause you to think of her as I do."</p> + +<p>She did not object to this proposal, and I immediately recounted all +that I had gained from my own observations, or from Welbeck himself, +respecting this forlorn girl. Having finished my narrative, I proceeded +thus:—</p> + +<p>"Can you hesitate to employ that power which was given you for good +ends, to rescue this sufferer? Take her to your home; to your bosom; to +your confidence. Keep aloof those temptations which beset her in her +present situation. Restore her to that purity which her desolate +condition, her ignorance, her misplaced gratitude and the artifices of a +skilful dissembler, have destroyed, if it be destroyed; for how know we +under what circumstances her ruin was accomplished? With what pretences, +or appearances, or promises, she was won to compliance?"</p> + +<p>"True. I confess my ignorance; but ought not that ignorance to be +removed before she makes a part of my family?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, no! It may be afterwards removed. It cannot be removed before. By +bringing her hither you shield her, at least, from future and possible +evils. Here you can watch her conduct and sift her sentiments +conveniently and at leisure. Should she prove worthy of your charity, +how justly may you congratulate yourself on your seasonable efforts in +her cause! If she prove unworthy, you may then demean yourself according +to her demerits."</p> + +<p>"I must reflect upon it.—To-morrow——"</p> + +<p>"Let me prevail on you to admit her at once, and without delay. This +very moment may be the critical one. To-day we may exert ourselves with +success, but to-morrow all our efforts may be fruitless. Why fluctuate, +why linger, when so much good may be done, and no evil can possibly be +incurred? It requires but a word from you; you need not move a finger. +Your house is large. You have chambers vacant and convenient. Consent +only that your door shall not be barred against her; that you will treat +her with civility: to carry your kindness into effect; to persuade her +to attend me hither and to place herself in your care, shall be my +province."</p> + +<p>These and many similar entreaties and reasonings were ineffectual. Her +general disposition was kind, but she was unaccustomed to strenuous or +sudden exertions. To admit the persuasions of such an advocate to so +uncommon a scheme as that of sharing her house with a creature thus +previously unknown to her, thus loaded with suspicion and with obloquy, +was not possible.</p> + +<p>I at last forbore importunity, and requested her to tell me when I might +expect to meet with Mrs. Fielding at her lodgings. Inquiry was made to +what end I sought an interview. I made no secret of my purpose.</p> + +<p>"Are you mad, young man?" she exclaimed. "Mrs. Fielding has already been +egregiously imprudent. On the faith of an ancient slight acquaintance +with Mrs. Villars in Europe, she suffered herself to be decoyed into a +visit. Instead of taking warning by numerous tokens of the real +character of that woman, in her behaviour and in that of her visitants, +she consented to remain there one night. The next morning took place +that astonishing interview with you which she has since described to me. +She is now warned against the like indiscretion. And, pray, what +benevolent scheme would you propose to her?"</p> + +<p>"Has she property? Is she rich?"</p> + +<p>"She is. Unhappily, perhaps, for her, she is absolute mistress of her +fortune, and has neither guardian nor parent to control her in the use +of it."</p> + +<p>"Has she virtue? Does she know the value of affluence and a fair fame? +And will not she devote a few dollars to rescue a fellow-creature from +indigence and infamy and vice? Surely she will. She will hazard nothing +by the boon. I will be her almoner. I will provide the wretched stranger +with food and raiment and dwelling; I will pay for all, if Mrs. +Fielding, from her superfluity, will supply the means. Clemenza shall +owe life and honour to your friend, till I am able to supply the needful +sum from my own stock."</p> + +<p>While thus speaking, my companion gazed at me with steadfastness:—"I +know not what to make of you. Your language and ideas are those of a +lunatic. Are you acquainted with Mrs. Fielding?"</p> + +<p>"Yes. I have seen her two days ago, and she has invited me to see her +again."</p> + +<p>"And on the strength of this acquaintance you expect to be her almoner? +To be the medium of her charity?"</p> + +<p>"I desire to save her trouble; to make charity as light and easy as +possible. 'Twill be better if she perform those offices herself. 'Twill +redound more to the credit of her reason and her virtue. But I solicit +her benignity only in the cause of Clemenza. For her only do I wish at +present to call forth her generosity and pity."</p> + +<p>"And do you imagine she will intrust her money to one of your age and +sex, whom she knows so imperfectly, to administer to the wants of one +whom she found in such a house as Mrs. Villars's? She never will. She +mentioned her imprudent engagement to meet you, but she is now warned +against the folly of such confidence.</p> + +<p>"You have told me plausible stories of yourself and of this Clemenza. I +cannot say that I disbelieve them, but I know the ways of the world too +well to bestow implicit faith so easily. You are an extraordinary young +man. You may possibly be honest. Such a one as you, with your education +and address, may possibly have passed all your life in a hovel; but it +is scarcely credible, let me tell you. I believe most of the facts +respecting my nephew, because my knowledge of him before his flight +would enable me to detect your falsehood; but there must be other proofs +besides an innocent brow and a voluble tongue, to make me give full +credit to your pretensions.</p> + +<p>"I have no claim upon Welbeck which can embarrass you. On that score, +you are free from any molestation from me or my friends. I have +suspected you of being an accomplice in some vile plot, and am now +inclined to acquit you; but that is all that you must expect from me, +till your character be established by other means than your own +assertions. I am engaged at present, and must therefore request you to +put an end to your visit."</p> + +<p>This strain was much unlike the strain which preceded it. I imagined, by +the mildness of her tone and manners, that her unfavourable +prepossessions were removed; but they seemed to have suddenly regained +their pristine force. I was somewhat disconcerted by this unexpected +change. I stood for a minute silent and irresolute.</p> + +<p>Just then a knock was heard at the door, and presently entered that very +female whom I had met with at Villars's. I caught her figure as I +glanced through the window. Mrs. Wentworth darted at me many significant +glances, which commanded me to withdraw; but, with this object in view, +it was impossible.</p> + +<p>As soon as she entered, her eyes were fixed upon me. Certain +recollections naturally occurred at that moment, and made her cheeks +glow. Some confusion reigned for a moment, but was quickly dissipated. +She did not notice me, but exchanged salutations with her friend.</p> + +<p>All this while I stood near the window, in a situation not a little +painful. Certain tremors which I had not been accustomed to feel, and +which seemed to possess a mystical relation to the visitant, disabled me +at once from taking my leave, or from performing any useful purpose by +staying. At length, struggling for composure, I approached her, and, +showing her the card she had given me, said,—</p> + +<p>"Agreeably to this direction, I called an hour ago, at your lodgings. I +found you not. I hope you will permit me to call once more. When shall +I expect to meet you at home?"</p> + +<p>Her eyes were cast on the floor. A kind of indirect attention was fixed +on Mrs. Wentworth, serving to intimidate and check her. At length she +said, in an irresolute voice, "I shall be at home this evening."</p> + +<p>"And this evening," replied I, "I will call to see you." So saying, I +left the house.</p> + +<p>This interval was tedious, but was to be endured with equanimity. I was +impatient to be gone to Baltimore, and hoped to be able to set out by +the dawn of next day. Meanwhile, I was necessarily to perform something +with respect to Clemenza.</p> + +<p>After dinner I accompanied Mrs. Stevens to visit Miss Carlton. I was +eager to see a woman who could bear adversity in the manner which my +friend had described.</p> + +<p>She met us at the door of her apartment. Her seriousness was not abated +by her smiles of affability and welcome. "My friend!" whispered I, "how +truly lovely is this Miss Carlton! Are the heart and the intelligence +within worthy of these features?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, they are. The account of her employments, of her resignation to +the ill fate of the brother whom she loves, proves that they are."</p> + +<p>My eyes were riveted to her countenance and person. I felt +uncontrollable eagerness to speak to her, and to gain her good opinion.</p> + +<p>"You must know this young man, my dear Miss Carlton," said my friend, +looking at me; "he is my husband's friend, and professes a great desire +to be yours. You must not treat him as a mere stranger, for he knows +your character and situation already, as well as that of your brother."</p> + +<p>She looked at me with benignity:—"I accept his friendship willingly and +gratefully, and shall endeavour to convince him that his good opinion is +not misplaced."</p> + +<p>There now ensued a conversation somewhat general, in which this young +woman showed a mind vigorous from exercise and unembarrassed by care. +She affected no concealment of her own condition, of her wants, or her +comforts. She laid no stress upon misfortunes, but contrived to deduce +some beneficial consequence to herself, and some motive for gratitude to +Heaven, from every wayward incident that had befallen her.</p> + +<p>This demeanour emboldened me, at length, to inquire into the cause of +her brother's imprisonment, and the nature of his debt.</p> + +<p>She answered frankly and without hesitation:—"It is a debt of his +father's, for which he made himself responsible during his father's +life. The act was generous but imprudent, as the event has shown; +though, at the time, the unhappy effects could not be foreseen.</p> + +<p>"My father," continued she, "was arrested by his creditor, at a time +when the calmness and comforts of his own dwelling were necessary to his +health. The creditor was obdurate, and would release him upon no +condition but that of receiving a bond from my brother, by which he +engaged to pay the debt at several successive times and in small +portions. All these instalments were discharged with great difficulty +indeed, but with sufficient punctuality, except the last, to which my +brother's earnings were not adequate."</p> + +<p>"How much is the debt?"</p> + +<p>"Four hundred dollars."</p> + +<p>"And is the state of the creditor such as to make the loss of four +hundred dollars of more importance to him than the loss of liberty to +your brother?"</p> + +<p>She answered, smiling, "That is a very abstract view of things. On such +a question you and I might, perhaps, easily decide in favour of my +brother; but would there not be some danger of deciding partially? His +conduct is a proof of his decision, and there is no power to change it."</p> + +<p>"Will not argument change it? Methinks in so plain a case I should be +able to convince him. You say he is rich and childless. His annual +income is ten times more than this sum. Your brother cannot pay the debt +while in prison; whereas, if at liberty, he might slowly and finally +discharge it. If his humanity would not yield, his avarice might be +brought to acquiesce."</p> + +<p>"But there is another passion which you would find it somewhat harder to +subdue, and that is his vengeance. He thinks himself wronged, and +imprisons my brother, not to enforce payment, but to inflict misery. If +you could persuade him that there is no hardship in imprisonment, you +would speedily gain the victory; but that could not be attempted +consistently with truth. In proportion to my brother's suffering is his +gratification."</p> + +<p>"You draw an odious and almost incredible portrait."</p> + +<p>"And yet such a one would serve for the likeness of almost every second +man we meet."</p> + +<p>"And is such your opinion of mankind? Your experience must surely have +been of a rueful tenor to justify such hard thoughts of the rest of your +species."</p> + +<p>"By no means. It has been what those whose situation disables them from +looking further than the surface of things would regard as unfortunate; +but, if my goods and evils were equitably balanced, the former would be +the weightiest. I have found kindness and goodness in great numbers, but +have likewise met prejudice and rancor in many. My opinion of Farquhar +is not lightly taken up. I saw him yesterday, and the nature of his +motives in the treatment of my brother was plain enough."</p> + +<p>Here this topic was succeeded by others, and the conversation ceased not +till the hour had arrived on which I had preconcerted to visit Mrs. +Fielding. I left my two friends for this purpose.</p> + +<p>I was admitted to Mrs. Fielding's presence without scruple or +difficulty. There were two females in her company, and one of the other +sex, well-dressed, elderly, and sedate persons. Their discourse turned +upon political topics, with which, as you know, I have but slight +acquaintance. They talked of fleets and armies, of Robespierre and Pitt, +of whom I had only a newspaper-knowledge.</p> + +<p>In a short time the women rose, and, huddling on their cloaks, +disappeared, in company with the gentleman. Being thus left alone with +Mrs. Fielding, some embarrassment was mutually betrayed. With much +hesitation, which, however, gradually disappeared, my companion, at +length, began the conversation:—</p> + +<p>"You met me lately, in a situation, sir, on which I look back with +trembling and shame, but not with any self-condemnation. I was led into +it without any fault, unless a too hasty confidence may be styled a +fault. I had known Mrs. Villars in England, where she lived with an +untainted reputation, at least; and the sight of my countrywoman, in a +foreign land, awakened emotions in the indulgence of which I did not +imagine there was either any guilt or any danger. She invited me to see +her at her house with so much urgency and warmth, and solicited me to +take a place immediately in a chaise in which she had come to the city, +that I too incautiously complied.</p> + +<p>"You are a stranger to me, and I am unacquainted with your character. +What little I have seen of your deportment, and what little I have +lately heard concerning you from Mrs. Wentworth, do not produce +unfavourable impressions; but the apology I have made was due to my own +reputation, and should have been offered to you whatever your character +had been." There she stopped.</p> + +<p>"I came not hither," said I, "to receive an apology. Your demeanour, on +our first interview, shielded you sufficiently from any suspicions or +surmises that I could form. What you have now mentioned was likewise +mentioned by your friend, and was fully believed upon her authority. My +purpose, in coming, related not to you, but to another. I desired merely +to interest your generosity and justice on behalf of one whose destitute +and dangerous condition may lay claim to your compassion and your +succour."</p> + +<p>"I comprehend you," said she, with an air of some perplexity. "I know +the claims of that person."</p> + +<p>"And will you comply with them?"</p> + +<p>"In what manner can I serve her?"</p> + +<p>"By giving her the means of living."</p> + +<p>"Does she not possess them already?"</p> + +<p>"She is destitute. Her dependence was wholly placed upon one that is +dead, by whom her person was dishonoured and her fortune embezzled."</p> + +<p>"But she still lives. She is not turned into the street. She is not +destitute of home."</p> + +<p>"But what a home!"</p> + +<p>"Such as she may choose to remain in."</p> + +<p>"She cannot choose it. She must not choose it. She remains through +ignorance, or through the incapacity of leaving it."</p> + +<p>"But how shall she be persuaded to a change?"</p> + +<p>"I will persuade her. I will fully explain her situation. I will supply +her with a new home."</p> + +<p>"You will persuade her to go with you, and to live at a home of your +providing and on your bounty?"</p> + +<p>"Certainly."</p> + +<p>"Would that change be worthy of a cautious person? Would it benefit her +reputation? Would it prove her love of independence?"</p> + +<p>"My purposes are good. I know not why she should suspect them. But I am +only anxious to be the instrument. Let her be indebted to one of her own +sex, of unquestionable reputation. Admit her into this house. Invite her +to your arms. Cherish and console her as your sister."</p> + +<p>"Before I am convinced that she deserves it? And even then, what regard +shall I, young, unmarried, independent, affluent, pay to my own +reputation in harbouring a woman in these circumstances?"</p> + +<p>"But you need not act yourself. Make me your agent and almoner. Only +supply her with the means of subsistence through me."</p> + +<p>"Would you have me act a clandestine part? Hold meetings with one of +your sex, and give him money for a purpose which I must hide from the +world? Is it worth while to be a dissembler and impostor? And will not +such conduct incur more dangerous surmises and suspicions than would +arise from acting openly and directly? You will forgive me for reminding +you, likewise, that it is particularly incumbent upon those in my +situation to be circumspect in their intercourse with men and with +strangers. This is the second time that I have seen you. My knowledge of +you is extremely dubious and imperfect, and such as would make the +conduct you prescribe to me, in a high degree, rash and culpable. You +must not, therefore, expect me to pursue it."</p> + +<p>These words were delivered with an air of firmness and dignity. I was +not insensible to the truth of her representations. "I confess," said I, +"what you have said makes me doubt the propriety of my proposal; yet I +would fain be of service to her. Cannot you point out some practicable +method?"</p> + +<p>She was silent and thoughtful, and seemed indisposed to answer my +question.</p> + +<p>"I had set my heart upon success in this negotiation," continued I, "and +could not imagine any obstacle to its success; but I find my ignorance +of the world's ways much greater than I had previously expected. You +defraud yourself of all the happiness redounding from the act of making +others happy. You sacrifice substance to show, and are more anxious to +prevent unjust aspersions from lighting on yourself, than to rescue a +fellow-creature from guilt and infamy.</p> + +<p>"You are rich, and abound in all the conveniences and luxuries of life. +A small portion of your superfluity would obviate the wants of a being +not less worthy than yourself. It is not avarice or aversion to labour +that makes you withhold your hand. It is dread of the sneers and +surmises of malevolence and ignorance.</p> + +<p>"I will not urge you further at present. Your determination to be wise +should not be hasty. Think upon the subject calmly and sedately, and +form your resolution in the course of three days. At the end of that +period I will visit you again." So saying, and without waiting for +comment or answer, I withdrew.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XL.</h3> + + +<p>I mounted the stage-coach at daybreak the next day, in company with a +sallow Frenchman from St. Domingo, his fiddle-case, an ape, and two +female blacks. The Frenchman, after passing the suburbs, took out his +violin and amused himself with humming to his own <i>tweedle-tweedle</i>. The +monkey now and then munched an apple, which was given to him from a +basket by the blacks, who gazed with stupid wonder, and an exclamatory +<i>La! La!</i> upon the passing scenery, or chattered to each other in a sort +of open-mouthed, half-articulate, monotonous, singsong jargon.</p> + +<p>The man looked seldom either on this side or that; and spoke only to +rebuke the frolics of the monkey, with a "Tenez! Dominique! Prenez +garde! Diable noir!"</p> + +<p>As to me, my thought was busy in a thousand ways. I sometimes gazed at +the faces of my <i>four</i> companions, and endeavoured to discern the +differences and samenesses between them. I took an exact account of the +features, proportions, looks, and gestures of the monkey, the Congolese, +and the Creole Gaul. I compared them together, and examined them apart. +I looked at them in a thousand different points of view, and pursued, +untired and unsatiated, those trains of reflections which began at each +change of tone, feature, and attitude.</p> + +<p>I marked the country as it successively arose before me, and found +endless employment in examining the shape and substance of the fence, +the barn, and the cottage, the aspect of earth and of heaven. How great +are the pleasures of health and of mental activity!</p> + +<p>My chief occupation, however, related to the scenes into which I was +about to enter. My imaginations were, of course, crude and inadequate; +and I found an uncommon gratification in comparing realities, as they +successively occurred, with the pictures which my wayward fancy had +depicted.</p> + +<p>I will not describe my dreams. My proper task is to relate the truth. +Neither shall I dwell upon the images suggested by the condition of the +country through which I passed. I will confine myself to mentioning the +transactions connected with the purpose of my journey.</p> + +<p>I reached Baltimore at night. I was not so fatigued but that I could +ramble through the town. I intended, at present, merely the +gratification of a stranger's curiosity. My visit to Mrs. Watson and her +brother I designed should take place on the morrow. The evening of my +arrival I deemed an unseasonable time.</p> + +<p>While roving about, however, it occurred to me, that it might not be +impolitic to find the way to their habitation even now. My purposes of +general curiosity would equally be served whichever way my steps were +bent; and to trace the path to their dwelling would save me the trouble +of inquiries and interrogations to-morrow.</p> + +<p>When I looked forward to an interview with the wife of Watson, and to +the subject which would be necessarily discussed at that interview, I +felt a trembling and misgiving at my heart. "Surely," thought I, "it +will become me to exercise immeasurable circumspection and address; and +yet how little are these adapted to the impetuosity and candour of my +nature!</p> + +<p>"How am I to introduce myself? What am I to tell her? That I was a sort +of witness to the murder of her husband? That I received from the hand +of his assassin the letter which I afterwards transmitted to her? and, +from the same hands, the bills contained in his girdle?</p> + +<p>"How will she start and look aghast! What suspicions will she harbour? +What inquiries shall be made of me? How shall they be disarmed and +eluded, or answered? Deep consideration will be necessary before I trust +myself to such an interview. The coming night shall be devoted to +reflection upon this subject."</p> + +<p>From these thoughts I proceeded to inquiries for the street mentioned in +the advertisement, where Mrs. Watson was said to reside. The street, +and, at length, the habitation, was found. Having reached a station +opposite, I paused and surveyed the mansion. It was a wooden edifice of +two stories, humble, but neat. You ascended to the door by several stone +steps. Of the two lower windows, the shutters of one were closed, but +those of the other were open. Though late in the evening, there was no +appearance of light or fire within.</p> + +<p>Beside the house was a painted fence, through which was a gate leading +to the back of the building. Guided by the impulse of the moment, I +crossed the street to the gate, and, lifting the latch, entered the +paved alley, on one side of which was a paled fence, and on the other +the house, looking through two windows into the alley.</p> + +<p>The first window was dark like those in front; but at the second a light +was discernible. I approached it, and, looking through, beheld a plain +but neat apartment, in which parlour, kitchen, and nursery seemed to be +united. A fire burned cheerfully in the chimney, over which was a +tea-kettle. On the hearth sat a smiling and playful cherub of a boy, +tossing something to a black girl who sat opposite, and whose innocent +and regular features wanted only a different hue to make them beautiful. +Near it, in a rocking-chair, with a sleeping babe in her lap, sat a +female figure in plain but neat and becoming attire. Her posture +permitted half her face to be seen, and saved me from any danger of +being observed.</p> + +<p>This countenance was full of sweetness and benignity, but the sadness +that veiled its lustre was profound. Her eyes were now fixed upon the +fire and were moist with the tears of remembrance, while she sung, in +low and scarcely-audible strains, an artless lullaby.</p> + +<p>This spectacle exercised a strange power over my feelings. While +occupied in meditating on the features of the mother, I was unaware of +my conspicuous situation. The black girl, having occasion to change her +situation, in order to reach the ball which was thrown at her, unluckily +caught a glance of my figure through the glass. In a tone of half +surprise and half terror, she cried out, "Oh! see dare! a man!"</p> + +<p>I was tempted to draw suddenly back, but a second thought showed me the +impropriety of departing thus abruptly and leaving behind me some alarm. +I felt a sort of necessity for apologizing for my intrusion into these +precincts, and hastened to a door that led into the same apartment. I +knocked. A voice somewhat confused bade me enter. It was not till I +opened the door and entered the room, that I fully saw in what +embarrassments I had incautiously involved myself.</p> + +<p>I could scarcely obtain sufficient courage to speak, and gave a confused +assent to the question, "Have you business with me, sir?" She offered me +a chair, and I sat down. She put the child, not yet awakened, into the +arms of the black, who kissed it and rocked it in her arms with great +satisfaction, and, resuming her seat, looked at me with inquisitiveness +mingled with complacency.</p> + +<p>After a moment's pause, I said, "I was directed to this house as the +abode of Mr. Ephraim Williams. Can he be seen, madam?"</p> + +<p>"He is not in town at present. If you will leave a message with me, I +will punctually deliver it."</p> + +<p>The thought suddenly occurred, whether any more was needful than merely +to leave the bills suitably enclosed, as they already were, in a packet. +Thus all painful explanations might be avoided, and I might have reason +to congratulate myself on his seasonable absence. Actuated by these +thoughts, I drew forth the packet, and put it into her hand, saying, "I +will leave this in your possession, and must earnestly request you to +keep it safe until you can deliver it into his own hands."</p> + +<p>Scarcely had I said this before new suggestions occurred. Was it right +to act in this clandestine and mysterious manner? Should I leave these +persons in uncertainty respecting the fate of a husband and a brother? +What perplexities, misunderstandings, and suspenses might not grow out +of this uncertainty? and ought they not to be precluded at any hazard to +my own safety or good name?</p> + +<p>These sentiments made me involuntarily stretch forth my hand to retake +the packet. This gesture, and other significances in my manners, joined +to a trembling consciousness in herself, filled my companion with all +the tokens of confusion and fear. She alternately looked at me and at +the paper. Her trepidation increased, and she grew pale. These emotions +were counteracted by a strong effort.</p> + +<p>At length she said, falteringly, "I will take good care of them, and +will give them to my brother."</p> + +<p>She rose and placed them in a drawer, after which she resumed her seat.</p> + +<p>On this occasion all my wariness forsook me. I cannot explain why my +perplexity and the trouble of my thoughts were greater upon this than +upon similar occasions. However it be, I was incapable of speaking, and +fixed my eyes upon the floor. A sort of electrical sympathy pervaded my +companion, and terror and anguish were strongly manifested in the +glances which she sometimes stole at me. We seemed fully to understand +each other without the aid of words.</p> + +<p>This imbecility could not last long. I gradually recovered my composure, +and collected my scattered thoughts. I looked at her with seriousness, +and steadfastly spoke:—"Are you the wife of Amos Watson?"</p> + +<p>She started:—"I am indeed. Why do you ask? Do you know any thing +of——?" There her voice failed.</p> + +<p>I replied with quickness, "Yes. I am fully acquainted with his destiny."</p> + +<p>"Good God!" she exclaimed, in a paroxysm of surprise, and bending +eagerly forward, "my husband is then alive! This packet is from him. +Where is he? When have you seen him?"</p> + +<p>"'Tis a long time since."</p> + +<p>"But where, where is he now? Is he well? Will he return to me?"</p> + +<p>"Never."</p> + +<p>"Merciful Heaven!" (looking upwards and clasping her hands,) "I thank +thee at least for his life! But why has he forsaken me? Why will he not +return?"</p> + +<p>"For a good reason," said I, with augmented solemnity, "he will never +return to thee. Long ago was he laid in the cold grave."</p> + +<p>She shrieked; and, at the next moment, sunk in a swoon upon the floor. I +was alarmed. The two children shrieked, and ran about the room terrified +and unknowing what they did. I was overwhelmed with somewhat like +terror, yet I involuntarily raised the mother in my arms, and cast about +for the means of recalling her from this fit.</p> + +<p>Time to effect this had not elapsed, when several persons, apparently +Mrs. Watson's neighbours, and raised by the outcries of the girls, +hastily entered the room. They looked at me with mingled surprise and +suspicion; but my attitude, being not that of an injurer but helper; my +countenance, which showed the pleasure their entrance, at this critical +moment, afforded me; and my words, in which I besought their assistance, +and explained, in some degree, and briefly, the cause of those +appearances, removed their ill thoughts.</p> + +<p>Presently, the unhappy woman, being carried by the new-comers into a +bedroom adjoining, recovered her sensibility. I only waited for this. I +had done my part. More information would be useless to her, and not to +be given by me, at least in the present audience, without embarrassment +and peril. I suddenly determined to withdraw, and this, the attention of +the company being otherwise engaged, I did without notice. I returned to +my inn, and shut myself up in my chamber. Such was the change which, +undesigned, unforeseen, half an hour had wrought in my situation. My +cautious projects had perished in their conception. That which I had +deemed so arduous, to require such circumspect approaches, such +well-concerted speeches, was done.</p> + +<p>I had started up before this woman as if from the pores of the ground. I +had vanished with the same celerity, but had left her in possession of +proofs sufficient that I was neither spectre nor demon. "I will visit +her," said I, "again. I will see her brother, and know the full effect +of my disclosure. I will tell them all that I myself know. Ignorance +would be no less injurious to them than to myself; but, first, I will +see the Maurices."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XLI.</h3> + + +<p>Next morning I arose betimes, and equipped myself without delay. I had +eight or ten miles to walk, so far from the town being the residence of +these people; and I forthwith repaired to their dwelling. The persons +whom I desired to see were known to me only by name, and by their place +of abode. It was a mother and her three daughters to whom I now carried +the means not only of competence but riches; means which they, no doubt, +had long ago despaired of regaining, and which, among all possible +messengers, one of my age and guise would be the least suspected of +being able to restore.</p> + +<p>I arrived, through intricate ways, at eleven o'clock, at the house of +Mrs. Maurice. It was a neat dwelling, in a very fanciful and rustic +style, in the bosom of a valley, which, when decorated by the verdure +and blossoms of the coming season, must possess many charms. At present +it was naked and dreary.</p> + +<p>As I approached it, through a long avenue, I observed two female +figures, walking arm-in-arm and slowly to and fro, in the path in which +I now was. "These," said I, "are daughters of the family. Graceful, +well-dressed, fashionable girls they seem at this distance. May they be +deserving of the good tidings which I bring!" Seeing them turn towards +the house, I mended my pace, that I might overtake them and request +their introduction of me to their mother.</p> + +<p>As I more nearly approached, they again turned; and, perceiving me, they +stood as if in expectation of my message. I went up to them.</p> + +<p>A single glance, cast at each, made me suspect that they were not +sisters; but, somewhat to my disappointment, there was nothing highly +prepossessing in the countenance of either. They were what is every day +met with, though less embellished by brilliant drapery and turban, in +markets and streets. An air somewhat haughty, somewhat supercilious, +lessened still more their attractions. These defects, however, were +nothing to me.</p> + +<p>I inquired, of her that seemed to be the elder of the two, for Mrs. +Maurice.</p> + +<p>"She is indisposed," was the cold reply.</p> + +<p>"That is unfortunate. Is it not possible to see her?"</p> + +<p>"No;" with still more gravity.</p> + +<p>I was somewhat at a loss how to proceed. A pause ensued. At length the +same lady resumed, "What's your business? You can leave your message +with me."</p> + +<p>"With nobody but her. If she be not <i>very</i> indisposed——"</p> + +<p>"She is very indisposed," interrupted she, peevishly. "If you cannot +leave your message, you may take it back again, for she must not be +disturbed."</p> + +<p>This was a singular reception. I was disconcerted and silent. I knew not +what to say. "Perhaps," I at last observed, "some other time——"</p> + +<p>"No," (with increasing heat,) "no other time. She is more likely to be +worse than better. Come, Betsy," said she, taking hold of her +companion's arm; and, hieing into the house, shut the door after her, +and disappeared. I stood, at the bottom of the steps, confounded at such +strange and unexpected treatment. I could not withdraw till my purpose +was accomplished. After a moment's pause, I stepped to the door, and +pulled the bell. A negro came, of a very unpropitious aspect, and, +opening the door, looked at me in silence. To my question, Was Mrs. +Maurice to be seen? he made some answer, in a jargon which I could not +understand; but his words were immediately followed by an unseen person +within the house:—"Mrs. Maurice can't be seen by anybody. Come in, +Cato, and shut the door." This injunction was obeyed by Cato without +ceremony.</p> + +<p>Here was a dilemma! I came with ten thousand pounds in my hands, to +bestow freely on these people, and such was the treatment I received. "I +must adopt," said I, "a new mode."</p> + +<p>I lifted the latch, without a second warning, and, Cato having +disappeared, went into a room, the door of which chanced to be open, on +my right hand. I found within the two females whom I had accosted in the +portico. I now addressed myself to the younger:—"This intrusion, when I +have explained the reason of it, will, I hope, be forgiven. I come, +madam——"</p> + +<p>"Yes," interrupted the other, with a countenance suffused by +indignation, "I know very well whom you come from, and what it is that +prompts this insolence; but your employer shall see that we have not +sunk so low as he imagines. Cato! Bob! I say."</p> + +<p>"My employer, madam! I see you labour under some great mistake. I have +no employer. I come from a great distance. I come to bring intelligence +of the utmost importance to your family. I come to benefit and not to +injure you."</p> + +<p>By this time, Bob and Cato, two sturdy blacks, entered the room. "Turn +this person," said the imperious lady, regardless of my explanations, +"out of the house. Don't you hear me?" she continued, observing that +they looked one upon the other and hesitated.</p> + +<p>"Surely, madam," said I, "you are precipitate. You are treating like an +enemy one who will prove himself your mother's best friend."</p> + +<p>"Will you leave the house?" she exclaimed, quite beside herself with +anger. "Villains! why don't you do as I bid you?"</p> + +<p>The blacks looked upon each other, as if waiting for an example. Their +habitual deference for every thing <i>white</i>, no doubt, held their hands +from what they regarded as a profanation. At last Bob said, in a +whining, beseeching tone, "Why, missee, massa buckra wanna go for doo, +dan he winna go fo' wee."</p> + +<p>The lady now burst into tears of rage. She held out her hand, +menacingly. "Will you leave the house?"</p> + +<p>"Not willingly," said I, in a mild tone. "I came too far to return with +the business that brought me unperformed. I am persuaded, madam, you +mistake my character and my views. I have a message to deliver your +mother which deeply concerns her and your happiness, if you are her +daughter. I merely wished to see her, and leave with her a piece of +important news; news in which her fortune is deeply interested."</p> + +<p>These words had a wonderful effect upon the young lady. Her anger was +checked. "Good God!" she exclaimed, "are you Watson?"</p> + +<p>"No; I am only Watson's representative, and come to do all that Watson +could do if he were present."</p> + +<p>She was now importunate to know my business.</p> + +<p>"My business lies with Mrs. Maurice. Advertisements, which I have seen, +direct me to her, and to this house; and to her only shall I deliver my +message."</p> + +<p>"Perhaps," said she, with a face of apology, "I have mistaken you. Mrs. +Maurice is my mother. She is really indisposed, but I can stand in her +place on this occasion."</p> + +<p>"You cannot represent her in this instance. If I cannot have access to +her now, I must go; and shall return when you are willing to grant it."</p> + +<p>"Nay," replied she, "she is not, perhaps, so very sick but that I will +go, and see if she will admit you." So saying, she left me for three +minutes; and, returning, said her mother wished to see me.</p> + +<p>I followed up-stairs, at her request; and, entering an ill-furnished +chamber, found, seated in an arm-chair, a lady seemingly in years, pale, +and visibly infirm. The lines of her countenance were far from laying +claim to my reverence. It was too much like the daughter's.</p> + +<p>She looked at me, at my entrance, with great eagerness, and said, in a +sharp tone, "Pray, friend, what is it you want with me? Make haste; tell +your story, and begone."</p> + +<p>"My story is a short one, and easily told. Amos Watson was your agent in +Jamaica. He sold an estate belonging to you, and received the money."</p> + +<p>"He did," said she, attempting ineffectually to rise from her seat, and +her eyes beaming with a significance that shocked me; "he did, the +villain, and purloined the money, to the ruin of me and my daughters. +But if there be justice on earth it will overtake him. I trust I shall +have the pleasure one day—I hope to hear he's hanged. Well, but go on, +friend. He <i>did</i> sell it, I tell you."</p> + +<p>"He sold it for ten thousand pounds," I resumed, "and invested this sum +in bills of exchange. Watson is dead. These bills came into my hands. I +was lately informed, by the public papers, who were the real owners, and +have come from Philadelphia with no other view than to restore them to +you. There they are," continued I, placing them in her lap, entire and +untouched.</p> + +<p>She seized the papers, and looked at me and at her daughter, by turns, +with an air of one suddenly bewildered. She seemed speechless, and, +growing suddenly more ghastly pale, leaned her head back upon the chair. +The daughter screamed, and hastened to support the languid parent, who +difficultly articulated, "Oh, I am sick; sick to death. Put me on the +bed."</p> + +<p>I was astonished and affrighted at this scene. Some of the domestics, of +both colours, entered, and gazed at me with surprise. Involuntarily I +withdrew, and returned to the room below, into which I had first +entered, and which I now found deserted.</p> + +<p>I was for some time at a loss to guess at the cause of these +appearances. At length it occurred to me, that joy was the source of the +sickness that had seized Mrs. Maurice. The abrupt recovery of what had +probably been deemed irretrievable would naturally produce this effect +upon a mind of a certain texture.</p> + +<p>I was deliberating whether to stay or go, when the daughter entered the +room, and, after expressing some surprise at seeing me, whom she +supposed to have retired, told me that her mother wished to see me again +before my departure. In this request there was no kindness. All was +cold, supercilious, and sullen. I obeyed the summons without speaking.</p> + +<p>I found Mrs. Maurice seated in her arm-chair, much in her former guise. +Without desiring me to be seated, or relaxing aught in her asperity of +looks and tones,—"Pray, friend, how did you <i>come by</i> these papers?"</p> + +<p>"I assure you, madam, they were honestly <i>come by</i>," answered I, +sedately and with half a smile; "but, if the whole is there that was +missing, the mode and time in which they came to me is matter of +concern only to myself. Is there any deficiency?"</p> + +<p>"I am not sure. I don't know much of these matters. There may be less. I +dare say there is. I shall know that soon. I expect a friend of mine +every minute who will look them over. I don't doubt you can give a good +account of yourself."</p> + +<p>"I doubt not but I can—to those who have a right to demand it. In this +case, curiosity must be very urgent indeed before I shall consent to +gratify it."</p> + +<p>"You must know this is a suspicious case. Watson, to-be-sure, embezzled +the money; to-be-sure, you are his accomplice."</p> + +<p>"Certainly," said I, "my conduct, on this occasion, proves that. What I +have brought to you, of my own accord; what I have restored to you, +fully and unconditionally, it is plain Watson embezzled, and that I was +aiding in the fraud. To restore what was never stolen always betrays the +thief. To give what might be kept without suspicion is, without doubt, +arrant knavery. To be serious, madam, in coming thus far, for this +purpose, I have done enough; and must now bid you farewell."</p> + +<p>"Nay, don't go yet. I have something more to say to you. My friend, I'm +sure, will be here presently. There he is;" (noticing a peal upon the +bell.) "Polly, go down, and see if that's Mr. Somers. If it is, bring +him up." The daughter went.</p> + +<p>I walked to the window absorbed in my own reflections. I was +disappointed and dejected. The scene before me was the unpleasing +reverse of all that my fancy, while coming hither, had foreboded. I +expected to find virtuous indigence and sorrow lifted, by my means, to +affluence and exultation. I expected to witness the tears of gratitude +and the caresses of affection. What had I found? Nothing but sordidness, +stupidity, and illiberal suspicion.</p> + +<p>The daughter stayed much longer than the mother's patience could endure. +She knocked against the floor with her heel. A servant came up. "Where's +Polly, you slut? It was not you, hussy, that I wanted. It was her."</p> + +<p>"She is talking in the parlour with a gentleman."</p> + +<p>"Mr. Somers, I suppose; hey, fool? Run with my compliments to him, +wench. Tell him, please walk up."</p> + +<p>"It is not Mr. Somers, ma'am."</p> + +<p>"No? Who then, saucebox? What gentleman can have any thing to do with +Polly?"</p> + +<p>"I don't know, ma'am."</p> + +<p>"Who said you did, impertinence? Run, and tell her I want her this +instant."</p> + +<p>The summons was not delivered, or Polly did not think proper to obey it. +Full ten minutes of thoughtful silence on my part, and of muttered +vexation and impatience on that of the old lady, elapsed before Polly's +entrance. As soon as she appeared, the mother began to complain bitterly +of her inattention and neglect; but Polly, taking no notice of her, +addressed herself to me, and told me that a gentleman below wished to +see me. I hastened down, and found a stranger, of a plain appearance, in +the parlour. His aspect was liberal and ingenuous; and I quickly +collected, from his discourse, that this was the brother-in-law of +Watson, and the companion of his last voyage.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XLII.</h3> + + +<p>My eyes sparkled with pleasure at this unexpected interview, and I +willingly confessed my desire to communicate all the knowledge of his +brother's destiny which I possessed. He told me, that, returning late to +Baltimore, on the last evening, he found his sister in much agitation +and distress, which, after a time, she explained to him. She likewise +put the packets I had left into his hands.</p> + +<p>"I leave you to imagine," continued he, "my surprise and curiosity at +this discovery. I was, of course, impatient to see the bearer of such +extraordinary tidings. This morning, inquiring for one of your +appearance at the taverns, I was, at length, informed of your arrival +yesterday in the stage; of your going out alone in the evening; of your +subsequent return; and of your early departure this morning. +Accidentally I lighted on your footsteps; and, by suitable inquiries on +the road, have finally traced you hither.</p> + +<p>"You told my sister her husband was dead. You left with her papers that +were probably in his possession at the time of his death. I understand +from Miss Maurice that the bills belonging to her mother have just been +delivered to her. I presume you have no objection to clear up this +mystery."</p> + +<p>"To you I am anxious to unfold every thing. At this moment, or at any +time, but the sooner the more agreeable to me, I will do it."</p> + +<p>"This," said he, looking around him, "is no place; there is an inn, not +a hundred yards from this gate, where I have left my horse; will you go +thither?" I readily consented, and, calling for a private apartment, I +laid before this man every incident of my life connected with Welbeck +and Watson; my full, circumstantial, and explicit story appeared to +remove every doubt which he might have entertained of my integrity.</p> + +<p>In Williams I found a plain, good man, of a temper confiding and +affectionate. My narration being finished, he expressed, by unaffected +tokens, his wonder and his grief on account of Watson's destiny. To my +inquiries, which were made with frankness and fervour, respecting his +own and his sister's condition, he said that the situation of both was +deplorable till the recovery of this property. They had been saved from +utter ruin, from beggary and a jail, only by the generosity and lenity +of his creditors, who did not suffer the suspicious circumstances +attending Watson's disappearance to outweigh former proofs of his +probity. They had never relinquished the hopes of receiving some tidings +of their kinsman.</p> + +<p>I related what had just passed in the house of Mrs. Maurice, and +requested to know from him the history and character of this family.</p> + +<p>"They have treated you," he answered, "exactly as any one who knew them +would have predicted. The mother is narrow, ignorant, bigoted, and +avaricious. The eldest daughter, whom you saw, resembles the old lady in +many things. Age, indeed, may render the similitude complete. At +present, pride and ill-humour are her chief characteristics.</p> + +<p>"The youngest daughter has nothing in mind or person in common with her +family. Where they are irascible, she is patient; where they are +imperious, she is humble; where they are covetous, she is liberal; where +they are ignorant and indolent, she is studious and skilful. It is rare, +indeed, to find a young lady more amiable than Miss Fanny Maurice, or +who has had more crosses and afflictions to sustain.</p> + +<p>"The eldest daughter always extorted the supply of her wants, from her +parents, by threats and importunities; but the younger could never be +prevailed upon to employ the same means, and, hence, she suffered +inconveniences which, to any other girl, born to an equal rank, would +have been, to the last degree, humiliating and vexatious. To her they +only afforded new opportunities for the display of her most shining +virtues,—fortitude and charity. No instance of their sordidness or +tyranny ever stole a murmur from her. For what they had given, existence +and a virtuous education, she said they were entitled to gratitude. What +they withheld was their own, in the use of which they were not +accountable to her. She was not ashamed to owe her subsistence to her +own industry, and was only held by the pride of her family—in this +instance their pride was equal to their avarice—from seeking out some +lucrative kind of employment. Since the shock which their fortune +sustained by Watson's disappearance, she has been permitted to pursue +this plan, and she now teaches music in Baltimore for a living. No one, +however, in the highest rank, can be more generally respected and +caressed than she is."</p> + +<p>"But will not the recovery of this money make a favourable change in her +condition?"</p> + +<p>"I can hardly tell; but I am inclined to think it will not. It will not +change her mother's character. Her pride may be awakened anew, and she +may oblige Miss Fanny to relinquish her new profession, and that will be +a change to be deplored."</p> + +<p>"What good has been done, then, by restoring this money?"</p> + +<p>"If pleasure be good, you must have conferred a great deal on the +Maurices; upon the mother and two of the daughters, at least,—the only +pleasure, indeed, which their natures can receive. It is less than if +you had raised them from absolute indigence, which has not been the +case, since they had wherewithal to live upon besides their Jamaica +property. But how?" continued Williams, suddenly recollecting himself; +"have you claimed the reward promised to him who should restore these +bills?"</p> + +<p>"What reward?"</p> + +<p>"No less than a thousand dollars. It was publicly promised under the +hands of Mrs. Maurice and of Hemmings, her husband's executor."</p> + +<p>"Really," said I, "that circumstance escaped my attention, and I wonder +that it did; but is it too late to repair the evil?"</p> + +<p>"Then you have no scruple to accept the reward?"</p> + +<p>"Certainly not. Could you suspect me of so strange a punctilio as that?"</p> + +<p>"Yes; but I know not why. The story you have just finished taught me to +expect some unreasonable refinement upon that head. To be hired, to be +bribed, to do our duty is supposed by some to be degrading."</p> + +<p>"This is no such bribe to me. I should have acted just as I have done, +had no recompense been promised. In truth, this has been my conduct, for +I never once thought of the reward; but, now that you remind me of it, I +would gladly see it bestowed. To fulfil their engagements, in this +respect, is no more than justice in the Maurices. To one in my condition +the money will be highly useful. If these people were poor, or generous +and worthy, or if I myself were already rich, I might less repine at +their withholding it; but, things being as they are with them and with +me, it would, I think, be gross injustice in them to withhold, and in me +to refuse."</p> + +<p>"That injustice," said Williams, "will, on their part, I fear, be +committed. 'Tis pity you first applied to Mrs. Maurice. Nothing can be +expected from her avarice, unless it be wrested from her by a lawsuit."</p> + +<p>"That is a force which I shall never apply."</p> + +<p>"Had you gone first to Hemmings, you might, I think, have looked for +payment. He is not a mean man. A thousand dollars, he must know, is not +much to give for forty thousand. Perhaps, indeed, it may not yet be too +late. I am well known to him, and, if you please, will attend you to him +in the evening, and state your claim."</p> + +<p>I thankfully accepted this offer, and went with him accordingly. I found +that Hemmings had been with Mrs. Maurice in the course of the day; had +received from her intelligence of this transaction, and had entertained +the expectation of a visit from me for this very purpose.</p> + +<p>While Williams explained to him the nature of my claim, he scanned me +with great intentness. His austere and inflexible brow afforded me +little room to hope for success, and this hopelessness was confirmed by +his silence and perplexity when Williams had made an end.</p> + +<p>"To-be-sure," said he, after some pause, "the contract was explicit. +To-be-sure, the conditions on Mr. Mervyn's side have been performed. +Certain it is, the bills are entire and complete, but Mrs. Maurice will +not consent to do her part, and Mrs. Maurice, to whom the papers were +presented, is the person by whom, according to the terms of the +contract, the reward must be paid."</p> + +<p>"But Mrs. Maurice, you know, sir, may be legally compelled to pay," said +Williams.</p> + +<p>"Perhaps she may; but I tell you plainly, that she never will do the +thing without compulsion. Legal process, however, in this case, will +have other inconveniences besides delay. Some curiosity will naturally +be excited, as to the history of these papers. Watson disappeared a +twelvemonth ago. Who can avoid asking, Where have these papers been +deposited all this while, and how came this person in possession of +them?"</p> + +<p>"That kind of curiosity," said I, "is natural and laudable, and gladly +would I gratify it. Disclosure or concealment in that case, however, +would nowise affect my present claim. Whether a bond, legally executed, +shall be paid, does not depend upon determining whether the payer is +fondest of boiled mutton or roast beef. Truth, in the first case, has no +connection with truth in the second. So far from eluding this curiosity, +so far from studying concealment, I am anxious to publish the truth."</p> + +<p>"You are right, to-be-sure," said Hemmings. "Curiosity is a natural, but +only an incidental, consequence in this case. I have no reason for +desiring that it should be an unpleasant consequence to you."</p> + +<p>"Well, sir," said Williams, "you think that Arthur Mervyn has no remedy +in this case but the law?"</p> + +<p>"Mrs. Maurice, to-be-sure, will never pay but on compulsion. Mervyn +should have known his own interest better. While his left hand was +stretched out to give, his right should have been held forth to receive. +As it is, he must be contented with the aid of law. Any attorney will +prosecute on condition of receiving <i>half the sum</i> when recovered."</p> + +<p>We now rose to take our leave, when Hemmings, desiring us to pause a +moment, said, "To-be-sure, in the utmost strictness of the terms of our +promise, the reward was to be paid by the person who received the +papers; but it must be owned that your claim, at any rate, is +equitable. I have money of the deceased Mr. Maurice in my hands. These +very bills are now in my possession. I will therefore pay you your due, +and take the consequences of an act of justice on myself. I was prepared +for you. Sign that receipt, and there is a <i>check</i> for the amount."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XLIII.</h3> + + +<p>This unexpected and agreeable decision was accompanied by an invitation +to supper, at which we were treated by our host with much affability and +kindness. Finding me the author of Williams's good fortune as well as +Mrs. Maurice's, and being assured by the former of his entire conviction +of the rectitude of my conduct, he laid aside all reserve and distance +with regard to me. He inquired into my prospects and wishes, and +professed his willingness to serve me.</p> + +<p>I dealt with equal unreserve and frankness. "I am poor," said I. "Money +for my very expenses hither I have borrowed from a friend, to whom I am, +in other respects, much indebted, and whom I expect to compensate only +by gratitude and future services.</p> + +<p>"In coming hither, I expected only an increase of my debts; to sink +still deeper into poverty; but happily the issue has made me rich. This +hour has given me competence, at least."</p> + +<p>"What! call you a thousand dollars competence?"</p> + +<p>"More than competence. I call it an abundance. My own ingenuity, while I +enjoy health, will enable me to live. This I regard as a fund, first to +pay my debts, and next to supply deficiencies occasioned by untoward +accidents or ill health, during the ensuing three or four years at +least."</p> + +<p>We parted with this new acquaintance at a late hour, and I accepted +Williams's invitation to pass the time I should spend at Baltimore, +under his sister's roof. There were several motives for prolonging this +stay. What I had heard of Miss Fanny Maurice excited strong wishes to be +personally acquainted with her. This young lady was affectionately +attached to Mrs. Watson, by whose means my wishes were easily +accomplished.</p> + +<p>I never was in habits of reserve, even with those whom I had no reason +to esteem. With those who claimed my admiration and affection, it was +impossible to be incommunicative. Before the end of my second interview, +both these women were mistresses of every momentous incident of my life, +and of the whole chain of my feelings and opinions, in relation to every +subject, and particularly in relation to themselves. Every topic +disconnected with these is comparatively lifeless and inert.</p> + +<p>I found it easy to win their attention, and to render them communicative +in their turn. As full disclosures as I had made without condition or +request, my inquiries and example easily obtained from Mrs. Watson and +Miss Maurice. The former related every event of her youth, and the +circumstances leading to her marriage. She depicted the character of her +husband, and the whole train of suspenses and inquietudes occasioned by +his disappearance. The latter did not hide from me her opinions upon any +important subject, and made me thoroughly acquainted with her actual +situation.</p> + +<p>This intercourse was strangely fascinating. My heart was buoyed up by a +kind of intoxication. I now found myself exalted to my genial element, +and began to taste the delights of existence. In the intercourse of +ingenuous and sympathetic minds, I found a pleasure which I had not +previously conceived.</p> + +<p>The time flew swiftly away, and a fortnight passed almost before I was +aware that a day had gone by. I did not forget the friends whom I had +left behind, but maintained a punctual correspondence with Stevens, to +whom I imparted all occurrences.</p> + +<p>The recovery of my friend's kinsman allowed him in a few days to return +home. His first object was the consolation and relief of Carlton, whom, +with much difficulty, he persuaded to take advantage of the laws in +favour of insolvent debtors. Carlton's only debt was owing to his uncle, +and, by rendering up every species of property, except his clothes and +the implements of his trade, he obtained a full discharge. In +conjunction with his sister, he once more assumed the pen, and, being +no longer burdened with debts he was unable to discharge, he resumed, +together with his pen, his cheerfulness. Their mutual industry was +sufficient for their decent and moderate subsistence.</p> + +<p>The chief reason for my hasty return was my anxiety respecting Clemenza +Lodi. This reason was removed by the activity and benevolence of my +friend. He paid this unfortunate stranger a visit at Mrs. Villars's. +Access was easily obtained, and he found her sunk into the deepest +melancholy. The recent loss of her child, the death of Welbeck, of which +she was soon apprized, her total dependence upon those with whom she was +placed, who, however, had always treated her without barbarity or +indecorum, were the calamities that weighed down her spirits.</p> + +<p>My friend easily engaged her confidence and gratitude, and prevailed +upon her to take refuge under his own roof. Mrs. Wentworth's scruples, +as well as those of Mrs. Fielding, were removed by his arguments and +entreaties, and they consented to take upon themselves, and divide +between them, the care of her subsistence and happiness. They +condescended to express much curiosity respecting me, and some interest +in my welfare, and promised to receive me, on my return, on the footing +of a friend.</p> + +<p>With some reluctance, I at length bade my new friends farewell, and +returned to Philadelphia. Nothing remained, before I should enter on my +projected scheme of study and employment, under the guidance of Stevens, +but to examine the situation of Eliza Hadwin with my own eyes, and, if +possible, to extricate my father from his unfortunate situation.</p> + +<p>My father's state had given me the deepest concern. I figured to myself +his condition, besotted by brutal appetites, reduced to beggary, shut up +in a noisome prison, and condemned to that society which must foster all +his depraved propensities. I revolved various schemes for his relief. A +few hundreds would take him from prison; but how should he be afterwards +disposed of? How should he be cured of his indolent habits? How should +he be screened from the contagion of vicious society? By what means, +consistently with my own wants and the claims of others, should I +secure to him an acceptable subsistence?</p> + +<p>Exhortation and example were vain. Nothing but restraint would keep him +at a distance from the haunts of brawling and debauchery. The want of +money would be no obstacle to prodigality and waste. Credit would be +resorted to as long as it would answer his demand. When that failed, he +would once more be thrown into a prison; the same means to extricate him +would have to be repeated, and money be thus put into the pockets of the +most worthless of mankind, the agents of drunkenness and blasphemy, +without any permanent advantage to my father, the principal object of my +charity.</p> + +<p>Though unable to fix on any plausible mode of proceeding, I determined, +at least, to discover his present condition. Perhaps something might +suggest itself, upon the spot, suited to my purpose. Without delay I +proceeded to the village of Newtown, and, alighting at the door of the +prison, inquired for my father.</p> + +<p>"Sawny Mervyn you want, I suppose," said the keeper. "Poor fellow! He +came into limbo in a crazy condition, and has been a burden on my hands +ever since. After lingering along for some time, he was at last kind +enough to give us the slip. It is just a week since he drank his last +pint—and <i>died</i>."</p> + +<p>I was greatly shocked at this intelligence. It was some time before my +reason came to my aid, and showed me that this was an event, on the +whole, and on a disinterested and dispassionate view, not unfortunate. +The keeper knew not my relation to the deceased, and readily recounted +the behaviour of the prisoner and the circumstances of his last hours.</p> + +<p>I shall not repeat the narrative. It is useless to keep alive the sad +remembrance. He was now beyond the reach of my charity or pity; and, +since reflection could answer no beneficial end to him, it was my duty +to divert my thoughts into different channels, and live henceforth for +my own happiness and that of those who were within the sphere of my +influence.</p> + +<p>I was now alone in the world, so far as the total want of kindred +creates solitude. Not one of my blood, nor even of my name, was to be +found in this quarter of the world. Of my mother's kindred I knew +nothing. So far as friendship or service might be claimed from them, to +me they had no existence. I was destitute of all those benefits which +flow from kindred, in relation to protection, advice, or property. My +inheritance was nothing. Not a single relic or trinket in my possession +constituted a memorial of my family. The scenes of my childish and +juvenile days were dreary and desolate. The fields which I was wont to +traverse, the room in which I was born, retained no traces of the past. +They were the property and residence of strangers, who knew nothing of +the former tenants, and who, as I was now told, had hastened to +new-model and transform every thing within and without the habitation.</p> + +<p>These images filled me with melancholy, which, however, disappeared in +proportion as I approached the abode of my beloved girl. Absence had +endeared the image of my <i>Bess</i>—I loved to call her so—to my soul. I +could not think of her without a melting softness at my heart, and tears +in which pain and pleasure were unaccountably mingled. As I approached +Curling's house, I strained my sight, in hopes of distinguishing her +form through the evening dusk.</p> + +<p>I had told her of my purpose, by letter. She expected my approach at +this hour, and was stationed, with a heart throbbing with impatience, at +the roadside, near the gate. As soon as I alighted, she rushed into my +arms.</p> + +<p>I found my sweet friend less blithesome and contented than I wished. Her +situation, in spite of the parental and sisterly regards which she +received from the Curlings, was mournful and dreary to her imagination. +Rural business was irksome, and insufficient to fill up her time. Her +life was tiresome, and uniform, and heavy.</p> + +<p>I ventured to blame her discontent, and pointed out the advantages of +her situation. "Whence," said I, "can these dissatisfactions and +repinings arise?"</p> + +<p>"I cannot tell," said she; "I don't know how it is with me. I am always +sorrowful and thoughtful. Perhaps I think too much of my poor father +and of Susan; and yet that can't be it, neither, for I think of them but +seldom; not half as much as I ought, perhaps. I think of nobody almost +but you. Instead of minding my business, or chatting and laughing with +Peggy Curling, I love to get by myself,—to read, over and over, your +letters, or to think how you are employed just then, and how happy I +should be if I were in Fanny Maurice's place.</p> + +<p>"But it is all over now; this visit rewards me for every thing. I wonder +how I could ever be sullen or mopeful. I will behave better, indeed I +will, and be always, as now, a most happy girl."</p> + +<p>The greater part of three days was spent in the society of my friend, in +listening to her relation of all that had happened during my absence, +and in communicating, in my turn, every incident which had befallen +myself. After this I once more returned to the city.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XLIV.</h3> + + +<p>I now set about carrying my plan of life into effect. I began with +ardent zeal and unwearied diligence the career of medical study. I +bespoke the counsels and instructions of my friend; attended him on his +professional visits, and acted, in all practicable cases, as his +substitute. I found this application of time more pleasurable than I had +imagined. My mind gladly expanded itself, as it were, for the reception +of new ideas. My curiosity grew more eager in proportion as it was +supplied with food, and every day added strength to the assurance that I +was no insignificant and worthless being; that I was destined to be +<i>something</i> in this scene of existence, and might some time lay claim to +the gratitude and homage of my fellow men.</p> + +<p>I was far from being, however, monopolized by these pursuits. I was +formed on purpose for the gratification of social intercourse. To love +and to be loved; to exchange hearts and mingle sentiments with all the +virtuous and amiable whom my good fortune had placed within the circuit +of my knowledge, I always esteemed my highest enjoyment and my chief +duty.</p> + +<p>Carlton and his sister, Mrs. Wentworth, and Achsa Fielding, were my most +valuable associates beyond my own family. With all these my +correspondence was frequent and unreserved, but chiefly with the latter. +This lady had dignity and independence, a generous and enlightened +spirit, beyond what her education had taught me to expect. She was +circumspect and cautious in her deportment, and was not prompt to make +advances, or accept them. She withheld her esteem and confidence until +she had full proof of their being deserved.</p> + +<p>I am not sure that her treatment of me was fully conformable to her +rules. My manners, indeed, as she once told me, she had never met with +in another. Ordinary rules were so totally overlooked in my behaviour, +that it seemed impossible for any one who knew me to adhere to them. No +option was left but to admit my claims to friendship and confidence +instantly, or to reject them altogether.</p> + +<p>I was not conscious of this singularity. The internal and undiscovered +character of another weighed nothing with me in the question whether +they should be treated with frankness or reserve. I felt no scruple on +any occasion to disclose every feeling and every event. Any one who +could listen found me willing to talk. Every talker found me willing to +listen. Every one had my sympathy and kindness, <i>without</i> claiming it; +but I <i>claimed</i> the kindness and sympathy of every one.</p> + +<p>Achsa Fielding's countenance bespoke, I thought, a mind worthy to be +known and to be loved. The first moment I engaged her attention, I told +her so. I related the little story of my family, spread out before her +all my reasonings and determinations, my notions of right and wrong, my +fears and wishes. All this was done with sincerity and fervour, with +gestures, actions, and looks, in which I felt as if my whole soul was +visible. Her superior age, sedateness, and prudence, gave my deportment +a filial freedom and affection, and I was fond of calling her "<i>mamma</i>."</p> + +<p>I particularly dwelt upon the history of my dear country-girl; painted +her form and countenance; recounted our dialogues, and related all my +schemes for making her wise, and good, and happy. On these occasions my +friend would listen to me with the mutest attention. I showed her the +letters I received, and offered her for her perusal those which I wrote +in answer, before they were sealed and sent.</p> + +<p>On these occasions she would look by turns on my face and away from me. +A varying hue would play upon her cheek, and her eyes were fuller than +was common, of meaning.</p> + +<p>"Such-and-such," I once said, "are my notions; now, what do <i>you</i> +think?"</p> + +<p>"<i>Think</i>!" emphatically, and turning somewhat aside, she answered; +"that you are the most—<i>strange</i> of human creatures."</p> + +<p>"But tell me," I resumed, following and searching her averted eyes; "am +I right? would you do thus? Can you help me to improve my girl? I wish +you knew the bewitching little creature. How would that heart overflow +with affection and with gratitude towards you! She should be your +daughter. No—you are too nearly of an age for that. A sister; her +<i>elder</i> sister, you should be. <i>That</i>, when there is no other relation, +includes them all. Fond sisters you would be, and I the fond brother of +you both."</p> + +<p>My eyes glistened as I spoke. In truth, I am in that respect a mere +woman. My friend was more powerfully moved. After a momentary struggle +she burst into tears.</p> + +<p>"Good heaven!" said I, "what ails you? Are you not well?"</p> + +<p>Her looks betrayed an unaccountable confusion, from which she quickly +recovered:—"It was folly to be thus affected. Something ailed me, I +believe, but it is past. But, come, you want some lines of finishing the +description of the <i>Boa</i> in La Cepide."</p> + +<p>"True. And I have twenty minutes to spare. Poor Franks is very ill +indeed, but he cannot be seen till nine. We'll read till then."</p> + +<p>Thus on the wings of pleasure and improvement passed my time; not +without some hues, occasionally, of a darker tint. My heart was now and +then detected in sighing. This occurred when my thoughts glanced at the +poor Eliza, and measured, as it were, the interval between us. "We are +too—<i>too</i> far apart," thought I.</p> + +<p>The best solace on these occasions was the company of Mrs. Fielding; her +music, her discourse, or some book which she set me to rehearsing to +her. One evening, when preparing to pay her a visit, I received the +following letter from my Bess:—</p> + +<p style="margin-left: 15em;"><i>To A. Mervyn.</i></p> + +<p style="margin-left: 25em;"><span class="smcap">Curling's</span>, May 6, 1794.</p> + + +<p>Where does this letter you promised me stay all this while? Indeed, +Arthur, you torment me more than I deserve, and more than I could ever +find it in my heart to do you. You treat me cruelly. I must say so, +though I offend you. I must write, though you do not deserve that I +should, and though I fear I am in a humour not very fit for writing. I +had better go to my chamber and weep; weep at your—<i>unkindness</i>, I was +going to say; but, perhaps, it is only forgetfulness; and yet what can +be more unkind than forgetfulness? I am sure I have never forgotten you. +Sleep itself, which wraps all other images in forgetfulness, only brings +you nearer, and makes me see you more distinctly.</p> + +<p>But where can this letter stay?—Oh! that—hush! foolish girl! If a word +of that kind escape thy lips, Arthur will be angry with thee; and then, +indeed, thou mightest weep in earnest. <i>Then</i> thou wouldst have some +cause for thy tears. More than once already has he almost broken thy +heart with his reproaches. Sore and weak as it now is, any new +reproaches would assuredly break it quite.</p> + +<p>I <i>will</i> be content. I will be as good a housewife and dairywoman, stir +about as briskly, and sing as merrily, as Peggy Curling. Why not? I am +as young, as innocent, and enjoy as good health. Alas! she has reason to +be merry. She has father, mother, brothers; but I have none. And he that +was all these, and more than all these, to me, has—<i>forgotten</i> me.</p> + +<p>But, perhaps, it is some accident that hinders. Perhaps Oliver left the +market earlier than he used to do; or you mistook the house; or perhaps +some poor creature was sick, was taken suddenly ill, and you were busy +in chafing his clay-cold limbs; it fell to you to wipe the clammy drops +from his brow. Such things often happen (don't they, Arthur?) to people +of your trade, and some such thing has happened now; and that was the +reason you did not write.</p> + +<p>And if so, shall I repine at your silence? Oh no! At such a time the +poor Bess might easily be, and ought to be, forgotten. She would not +deserve your love if she could repine at a silence brought about this +way.</p> + +<p>And oh! may it be so! May there be nothing worse than this! If the sick +man—see, Arthur, how my hand trembles. Can you read this scrawl? What +is always bad, my fears make worse than ever.</p> + +<p>I must not think that. And yet, if it be so, if my friend himself be +sick, what will become of me? Of me, that ought to cherish you and +comfort you; that ought to be your nurse. Endure for you your sickness, +when she cannot remove it.</p> + +<p>Oh! that——I <i>will</i> speak out—Oh that this strange scruple had never +possessed you! Why should I <i>not</i> be with you? Who can love you and +serve you as well as I? In sickness and health, I will console and +assist you. Why will you deprive yourself of such a comforter and such +an aid as I would be to you?</p> + +<p>Dear Arthur, think better of it. Let me leave this dreary spot, where, +indeed, as long as I am thus alone, I can enjoy no comfort. Let me come +to you. I will put up with any thing for the sake of seeing you, though +it be but once a day. Any garret or cellar in the dirtiest lane or +darkest alley will be good enough for me. I will think it a palace, so +that I can <i>but</i> see you now and then.</p> + +<p>Do not refuse—do not argue with me, so fond you always are of arguing! +My heart is set upon your compliance. And yet, dearly as I prize your +company, I would not ask it, if I thought there was any thing improper. +You say there is, and you talk about it in a way that I do not +understand. For my sake, you tell me, you refuse; but let me entreat you +to comply for my sake.</p> + +<p>Your pen cannot teach me like your tongue. You write me long letters, +and tell me a great deal in them; but my soul droops when I call to mind +your voice and your looks, and think how long a time must pass before I +see you and hear you again. I have no spirit to think upon the words and +paper before me. My eye and my thought wander far away.</p> + +<p>I bethink me how many questions I might ask you; how many doubts you +might clear up if you were but within hearing. If you were but close to +me; but I cannot ask them here. I am too poor a creature at the pen, +and, somehow or another, it always happens, I can only write about +myself or about you. By the time I have said all this, I have tired my +fingers, and when I set about telling you how this poem and that story +have affected me, I am at a loss for words; I am bewildered and bemazed, +as it were.</p> + +<p>It is not so when we talk to one another. With your arm about me, and +your sweet face close to mine, I can prattle forever. Then my heart +overflows at my lips. After hours thus spent, it seems as if there were +a thousand things still to be said. Then I can tell you what the book +has told me. I can repeat scores of verses by heart, though I heard them +only once read; but it is because <i>you</i> have read them to me.</p> + +<p>Then there is nobody here to answer my questions. They never look into +books. They hate books. They think it waste of time to read. Even Peggy, +who you say has naturally a strong mind, wonders what I can find to +amuse myself in a book. In her playful mood, she is always teasing me to +lay it aside.</p> + +<p>I do not mind her, for I like to read; but, if I did not like it before, +I could not help doing so ever since you told me that nobody could gain +your love who was not fond of books. And yet, though I like it on that +account more than I did, I don't read somehow so earnestly and +understand so well as I used to do when my mind was all at ease, always +frolicsome, and ever upon <i>tiptoe</i>, as I may say.</p> + +<p>How strangely (have you not observed it?) I am altered of late!—I, that +was ever light of heart, the very soul of gayety, brimfull of glee, am +now demure as our old <i>tabby</i>—and not half as wise. Tabby had wit +enough to keep her paws out of the coals, whereas poor I have—but no +matter what. It will never come to pass, I see that. So many reasons for +every thing! Such looking forward! Arthur, are not men sometimes too +<i>wise</i> to be happy?</p> + +<p>I am now <i>so</i> grave. Not one smile can Peggy sometimes get from me, +though she tries for it the whole day. But I know how it comes. Strange, +indeed, if, losing father and sister, and thrown upon the wide world, +penniless and <i>friendless</i> too, now that <i>you</i> forget me, I should +continue to smile. No. I never shall smile again. At least, while I stay +here, I never shall, I believe.</p> + +<p>If a certain somebody suffer me to live with him,—<i>near</i> him, I +mean,—perhaps the sight of him as he enters the door, perhaps the sound +of his voice, asking, "Where is my Bess?" might produce a smile. Such a +one as the very thought produces now,—yet not, I hope, so transient, +and so quickly followed by a tear. Women are born, they say, to trouble, +and tears are given them for their relief. 'Tis all very true.</p> + +<p>Let it be as I wish, will you? If Oliver bring not back good tidings, if +he bring not a letter from thee, or thy letter still refuses my +request,—I don't know what may happen. Consent, if you love your poor +girl.</p> + +<p class="right"> +E.H. +</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XLV.</h3> + + +<p>The reading of this letter, though it made me mournful, did not hinder +me from paying the visit I intended. My friend noticed my discomposure.</p> + +<p>"What, Arthur! thou art quite the 'penseroso' to-night. Come, let me +cheer thee with a song. Thou shalt have thy favourite ditty." She +stepped to the instrument, and, with more than airy lightness, touched +and sung:—</p> + +<p style="margin-left: 15em;"> +"Now knit hands and beat the ground<br /> +In a light, fantastic round,<br /> +Till the telltale sun descry<br /> +Our conceal'd solemnity."<br /> +</p> + +<p>Her music, though blithsome and aerial, was not sufficient for the end. +My cheerfulness would not return even at her bidding. She again noticed +my sedateness, and inquired into the cause.</p> + +<p>"This girl of mine," said I, "has infected me with her own sadness. +There is a letter I have just received." She took it and began to read.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile, I placed myself before her, and fixed my eyes steadfastly +upon her features. There is no book in which I read with more pleasure +than the face of woman. <i>That</i> is generally more full of meaning, and of +better meaning too, than the hard and inflexible lineaments of man; and +<i>this</i> woman's face has no parallel.</p> + +<p>She read it with visible emotion. Having gone through it, she did not +lift her eye from the paper, but continued silent, as if buried in +thought. After some time, (for I would not interrupt the pause,) she +addressed me thus:—</p> + +<p>"This girl seems to be very anxious to be with you."</p> + +<p>"As much as I am that she should be so." My friend's countenance +betrayed some perplexity. As soon as I perceived it, I said, "Why are +you thus grave?" Some little confusion appeared, as if she would not +have her gravity discovered. "There again," said I, "new tokens in your +face, my good mamma, of something which you will not mention. Yet, sooth +to say, this is not your first perplexity. I have noticed it before, and +wondered. It happens only when my <i>Bess</i> is introduced. Something in +relation to her it must be, but what I cannot imagine. Why does <i>her</i> +name, particularly, make you thoughtful, disturbed, dejected? There +now—but I must know the reason. You don't agree with me in my notions +of this girl, I fear, and you will not disclose your thoughts."</p> + +<p>By this time, she had gained her usual composure, and, without noticing +my comments on her looks, said, "Since you are both of one mind, why +does she not leave the country?"</p> + +<p>"That cannot be, I believe. Mrs. Stevens says it would be disreputable. +I am no proficient in etiquette, and must, therefore, in affairs of this +kind, be guided by those who are. But would to heaven I were truly her +father or brother! Then all difficulties would be done away."</p> + +<p>"Can you seriously wish that?"</p> + +<p>"Why, no. I believe it would be more rational to wish that the world +would suffer me to act the fatherly or brotherly part, without the +relationship."</p> + +<p>"And is that the only part you wish to act towards this girl?"</p> + +<p>"Certainly, the only part."</p> + +<p>"You surprise me. Have you not confessed your love for her?"</p> + +<p>"I <i>do</i> love her. There is nothing upon earth more dear to me than my +<i>Bess</i>."</p> + +<p>"But love is of different kinds. She was loved by her father——"</p> + +<p>"Less than by me. He was a good man, but not of lively feelings. +Besides, he had another daughter, and they shared his love between them; +but she has no sister to share <i>my</i> love. Calamity, too, has endeared +her to me; I am all her consolation, dependence, and hope, and nothing, +surely, can induce me to abandon her."</p> + +<p>"Her reliance upon you for happiness," replied my friend, with a sigh, +"is plain enough."</p> + +<p>"It is; but why that sigh? And yet I understand it. It remonstrates with +me on my incapacity for her support. I know it well, but it is wrong to +be cast down. I have youth, health, and spirits, and ought not to +despair of living for my own benefit and hers; but you sigh again, and +it is impossible to keep my courage when <i>you</i> sigh. Do tell me what you +mean by it."</p> + +<p>"You partly guessed the cause. She trusts to you for happiness, but I +somewhat suspect she trusts in vain."</p> + +<p>"In vain! I beseech you, tell me why you think so."</p> + +<p>"You say you love her: why then not make her your wife?"</p> + +<p>"My wife! Surely her extreme youth, and my destitute condition, will +account for that."</p> + +<p>"She is fifteen; the age of delicate fervour, of inartificial love, and +suitable enough for marriage. As to your condition, you may live more +easily together than apart. She has no false taste or perverse desires +to gratify. She has been trained in simple modes and habits. Besides, +that objection can be removed another way. But are these all your +objections?"</p> + +<p>"Her youth I object to, merely in connection with her mind. She is too +little improved to be my wife. She wants that solidity of mind, that +maturity of intelligence which ten years more may possibly give her, but +which she cannot have at this age."</p> + +<p>"You are a very prudential youth: then you are willing to wait ten years +for a wife?"</p> + +<p>"Does that follow? Because my Bess will not be qualified for wedlock in +less time, does it follow that I must wait for her?"</p> + +<p>"I spoke on the supposition that you loved her."</p> + +<p>"And that is true; but love is satisfied with studying her happiness as +her father or brother. Some years hence, perhaps in half a year, (for +this passion, called wedded or <i>marriage-wishing</i> love, is of sudden +growth,) my mind may change and nothing may content me but to have Bess +for my wife. Yet I do not expect it."</p> + +<p>"Then you are determined against marriage with this girl?"</p> + +<p>"Of course; until that love comes which I feel not now; but which, no +doubt, will come, when Bess has had the benefit of five or eight years +more, unless previously excited by another."</p> + +<p>"All this is strange, Arthur. I have heretofore supposed that you +actually loved (I mean with the <i>marriage-seeking</i> passion) your +<i>Bess</i>."</p> + +<p>"I believe I once did; but it happened at a time when marriage was +improper; in the life of her father and sister, and when I had never +known in what female excellence consisted. Since that time my happier +lot has cast me among women so far above Eliza Hadwin,—so far above, +and so widely different from any thing which time is likely to make +her,—that, I own, nothing appears more unlikely than that I shall ever +love her."</p> + +<p>"Are you not a little capricious in that respect, my good friend? You +have praised your <i>Bess</i> as rich in natural endowments; as having an +artless purity and rectitude of mind, which somewhat supersedes the use +of formal education; as being full of sweetness and tenderness, and in +her person a very angel of loveliness."</p> + +<p>"All that is true. I never saw features and shape so delicately +beautiful; I never knew so young a mind so quick-sighted and so firm; +but, nevertheless, she is not the creature whom I would call my <i>wife</i>. +My bosom-slave; counsellor; friend; the mother; the pattern; the +tutoress of my children, must be a different creature."</p> + +<p>"But what are the attributes of this <i>desirable</i> which Bess wants?"</p> + +<p>"Every thing she wants. Age, capacity, acquirements, person, features, +hair, complexion, all, all are different from this girl's."</p> + +<p>"And pray of what kind may they be?"</p> + +<p>"I cannot portray them in words—but yes, I can:—The creature whom I +shall worship:—it sounds oddly, but, I verily believe, the sentiment +which I shall feel for my wife will be more akin to worship than any +thing else. I shall never love but such a creature as I now image to +myself, and <i>such</i> a creature will deserve, or almost deserve, worship. +But this creature, I was going to say, must be the exact counterpart, my +good mamma—of <i>yourself</i>."</p> + +<p>This was said very earnestly, and with eyes and manner that fully +expressed my earnestness; perhaps my expressions were unwittingly strong +and emphatic, for she started and blushed, but the cause of her +discomposure, whatever it was, was quickly removed, and she said,—</p> + +<p>"Poor Bess! This will be sad news to thee!"</p> + +<p>"Heaven forbid!" said I; "of what moment can my opinions be to her?"</p> + +<p>"Strange questioner that thou art. Thou knowest that her gentle heart is +touched with love. See how it shows itself in the tender and inimitable +strain of this epistle. Does not this sweet ingenuousness bewitch you?"</p> + +<p>"It does so, and I love, beyond expression, the sweet girl; but my love +is, in some inconceivable way, different from the passion which that +<i>other</i> creature will produce. She is no stranger to my thoughts. I will +impart every thought over and over to her. I question not but I shall +make her happy without forfeiting my own."</p> + +<p>"Would marriage with her be a forfeiture of your happiness?"</p> + +<p>"Not absolutely or forever, I believe. I love her company. Her absence +for a long time is irksome. I cannot express the delight with which I +see and hear her. To mark her features, beaming with vivacity; playful +in her pleasures; to hold her in my arms, and listen to her prattle, +always musically voluble, always sweetly tender, or artlessly +intelligent—and this you will say is the dearest privilege of marriage; +and so it is; and dearly should I prize it; and yet, I fear my heart +would droop as often as that <i>other</i> image should occur to my fancy. For +then, you know, it would occur as something never to be possessed by me.</p> + +<p>"Now, this image might, indeed, seldom occur. The intervals, at least, +would be serene. It would be my interest to prolong these intervals as +much as possible, and my endeavours to this end would, no doubt, have +some effect. Besides, the bitterness of this reflection would be +lessened by contemplating, at the same time, the happiness of my beloved +girl.</p> + +<p>"I should likewise have to remember, that to continue unmarried would +not necessarily secure me the possession of the <i>other</i> good——"</p> + +<p>"But these reflections, my friend," (broke she in upon me,) "are of as +much force to induce you to marry, as to reconcile you to a marriage +already contracted."</p> + +<p>"Perhaps they are. Assuredly, I have not a hope that the <i>fancied</i> +excellence will ever be mine. Such happiness is not the lot of humanity, +and is, least of all, within my reach."</p> + +<p>"Your diffidence," replied my friend, in a timorous accent, "has not +many examples; but your character, without doubt, is all your own, +possessing all and disclaiming all,—is, in few words, your picture."</p> + +<p>"I scarcely understand you. Do you think I ever shall be happy to that +degree which I have imagined? Think you I shall ever meet with an exact +copy of <i>yourself</i>?"</p> + +<p>"Unfortunate you will be, if you do not meet with many better. Your +Bess, in personals, is, beyond measure, <i>my</i> superior, and in mind, +allowing for difference in years, quite as much so."</p> + +<p>"But that," returned I, with quickness and fervour, "is not the object. +The very counterpart of <i>you</i> I want; neither worse nor better, nor +different in any thing. Just such form, such features, such hues. Just +that melting voice, and, above all, the same habits of thinking and +conversing. In thought, word, and deed; gesture, look, and form, that +rare and precious creature whom I shall love must be your resemblance. +Your——"</p> + +<p>"Have done with these comparisons," interrupted she, in some hurry, "and +let us return to the country-girl, thy Bess.</p> + +<p>"You once, my friend, wished me to treat this girl of yours as my +sister. Do you know what the duties of a sister are?"</p> + +<p>"They imply no more kindness or affection than you already feel towards +my Bess. Are you not her sister?"</p> + +<p>"I ought to have been so. I ought to have been proud of the relation you +ascribe to me, but I have not performed any of its duties. I blush to +think upon the coldness and perverseness of my heart. With such means as +I possess, of giving happiness to others, I have been thoughtless and +inactive to a strange degree; perhaps, however, it is not yet too late. +Are you still willing to invest me with all the rights of an elder +sister over this girl? And will she consent, think you?"</p> + +<p>"Certainly she will; she has."</p> + +<p>"Then the first act of sistership will be to take her from the country; +from persons on whose kindness she has no natural claim, whose manners +and characters are unlike her own, and with whom no improvement can be +expected, and bring her back to her sister's house and bosom, to provide +for her subsistence and education, and watch over her happiness.</p> + +<p>"I will not be a nominal sister. I will not be a sister by halves. <i>All</i> +the rights of that relation I will have, or none. As for you, you have +claims upon her on which I must be permitted to judge, as becomes the +elder sister, who, by the loss of all other relations, must occupy the +place, possess the rights, and fulfil the duties, of father, mother, and +brother.</p> + +<p>"She has now arrived at an age when longer to remain in a cold and +churlish soil will stunt her growth and wither her blossoms. We must +hasten to transplant her to a genial element and a garden well enclosed. +Having so long neglected this charming plant, it becomes me henceforth +to take her wholly to myself.</p> + +<p>"And now, for it is no longer in her or your power to take back the +gift, since she is fully mine, I will charge you with the office of +conducting her hither. I grant it you as a favour. Will you go?"</p> + +<p>"Go! I will fly!" I exclaimed, in an ecstasy of joy, "on pinions swifter +than the wind. Not the lingering of an instant will I bear. Look! one, +two, three—thirty minutes after nine. I will reach Curling's gate by +the morn's dawn. I will put my girl into a chaise, and by noon she +shall throw herself into the arms of her sister. But first, shall I not, +in some way, manifest my gratitude?"</p> + +<p>My senses were bewildered, and I knew not what I did. I intended to +kneel, as to my mother or my deity; but, instead of that, I clasped her +in my arms, and kissed her lips fervently. I stayed not to discover the +effects of this insanity, but left the room and the house, and, calling +for a moment at Stevens's, left word with the servant, my friend being +gone abroad, that I should not return till the morrow.</p> + +<p>Never was a lighter heart, a gayety more overflowing and more buoyant, +than mine. All cold from a boisterous night, at a chilly season, all +weariness from a rugged and miry road, were charmed away. I might have +ridden; but I could not brook delay, even the delay of inquiring for and +equipping a horse. I might thus have saved myself fatigue, and have lost +no time; but my mind was in too great a tumult for deliberation and +forecast. I saw nothing but the image of my girl, whom my tidings would +render happy.</p> + +<p>The way was longer than my fond imagination had foreseen. I did not +reach Curling's till an hour after sunrise. The distance was full +thirty-five miles. As I hastened up the green lane leading to the house, +I spied my Bess passing through a covered way, between the dwelling and +kitchen. I caught her eye. She stopped and held up her hands, and then +ran into my arms.</p> + +<p>"What means my girl? Why this catching of the breath? Why this sobbing? +Look at me, my love. It is Arthur,—he who has treated you with +forgetfulness, neglect, and cruelty."</p> + +<p>"Oh, do not," she replied, hiding her face with her hand. "One single +reproach, added to my own, will kill me. That foolish, wicked letter—I +could tear my fingers for writing it."</p> + +<p>"But," said I, "I will kiss them;" and put them to my lips. "They have +told me the wishes of my girl. They have enabled me to gratify her +wishes. I have come to carry thee this very moment to town."</p> + +<p>"Lord bless me, Arthur," said she, lost in a sweet confusion, and her +cheeks, always glowing, glowing still more deeply, "indeed, I did not +mean——I meant only——I will stay here——I would rather stay——"</p> + +<p>"It grieves me to hear that," said I, with earnestness; "I thought I was +studying our mutual happiness."</p> + +<p>"It grieves you? Don't say so. I would not grieve you for the world; +but, indeed, indeed, it is too soon. Such a girl as I am not yet fit +to—live in your city." Again she hid her glowing face in my bosom.</p> + +<p>"Sweet consciousness! Heavenly innocence!" thought I; "may Achsa's +conjectures prove false!—You have mistaken my design, for I do not +intend to carry you to town with such a view as you have hinted; but +merely to place you with a beloved friend, with Achsa Fielding, of whom +already you know so much, where we shall enjoy each other's company +without restraint or intermission."</p> + +<p>I then proceeded to disclose to her the plan suggested by my friend, and +to explain all the consequences that would flow from it. I need not say +that she assented to the scheme. She was all rapture and gratitude. +Preparations for departure were easily and speedily made. I hired a +chaise of a neighbouring farmer, and, according to my promise, by noon +the same day, delivered the timid and bashful girl into the arms of her +new sister.</p> + +<p>She was received with the utmost tenderness, not only by Mrs. Fielding, +but by all my friends. Her affectionate heart was encouraged to pour +forth all its feeling as into the bosom of a mother. She was reinspired +with confidence. Her want of experience was supplied by the gentlest +admonitions and instructions. In every plan for her improvement +suggested by her new <i>mamma</i>, (for she never called her by any other +name,) she engaged with docility and eagerness; and her behaviour and +her progress exceeded the most sanguine hopes that I had formed as to +the softness of her temper and the acuteness of her genius.</p> + +<p>Those graces which a polished education, and intercourse with the better +classes of society, are adapted to give, my girl possessed, in some +degree, by a native and intuitive refinement and sagacity of mind. All +that was to be obtained from actual observation and instruction was +obtained without difficulty; and in a short time nothing but the +affectionate simplicity and unperverted feelings of the country-girl +bespoke the original condition.</p> + +<p>"What art so busy about, Arthur? Always at thy pen of late. Come, I must +know the fruit of all this toil and all this meditation. I am determined +to scrape acquaintance with Haller and Linnæus. I will begin this very +day. All one's friends, you know, should be ours. Love has made many a +patient, and let me see if it cannot, in my case, make a physician. But, +first, what is all this writing about?"</p> + +<p>"Mrs. Wentworth has put me upon a strange task,—not disagreeable, +however, but such as I should, perhaps, have declined, had not the +absence of my Bess, and her mamma, made the time hang somewhat heavy. I +have, oftener than once, and far more circumstantially than now, told +her my adventures, but she is not satisfied. She wants a written +narrative, for some purpose which she tells me she will disclose to me +hereafter.</p> + +<p>"Luckily, my friend Stevens has saved me more than half the trouble. He +has done me the favour to compile much of my history with his own hand. +I cannot imagine what could prompt him to so wearisome an undertaking; +but he says that adventures and a destiny so singular as mine ought not +to be abandoned to forgetfulness like any vulgar and <i>every-day</i> +existence. Besides, when he wrote it, he suspected that it might be +necessary to the safety of my reputation and my life, from the +consequences of my connection with Welbeck. Time has annihilated that +danger. All enmities and all suspicions are buried with that ill-fated +wretch. Wortley has been won by my behaviour, and confides in my +integrity now as much as he formerly suspected it. I am glad, however, +that the task was performed. It has saved me a world of writing. I had +only to take up the broken thread, and bring it down to the period of my +present happiness; and this was done, just as you tripped along the +entry this morning.</p> + +<p>"To bed, my friend; it is late, and this delicate frame is not half so +able to encounter fatigue as a youth spent in the hay-field and the +dairy might have been expected to be."</p> + +<p>"I will, but let me take these sheets along with me. I will read them, +that I am determined, before I sleep, and watch if you have told the +whole truth."</p> + +<p>"Do so, if you please; but remember one thing. Mrs. Wentworth requested +me to write not as if it were designed for her perusal, but for those +who have no previous knowledge of her or of me. 'Twas an odd request. I +cannot imagine what she means by it; but she never acts without good +reason, and I have done so. And now, withdraw, my dear, and farewell."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XLVI.</h3> + + +<p>Move on, my quill! wait not for my guidance. Reanimated with thy +master's spirit, all airy light! A heyday rapture! A mounting impulse +sways him: lifts him from the earth.</p> + +<p>I must, cost what it will, rein in this upward-pulling, +forward-going—what shall I call it? But there are times, and now is one +of them, when words are poor.</p> + +<p>It will not do—down this hill, up that steep; through this thicket, +over that hedge—I have <i>laboured</i> to fatigue myself: to reconcile me to +repose; to lolling on a sofa; to poring over a book, to any thing that +might win for my heart a respite from these throbs; to deceive me into a +few <i>tolerable</i> moments of forgetfulness.</p> + +<p>Let me see; they tell me this is Monday night. Only three days yet to +come! If thus restless to-day; if my heart thus bounds till its mansion +scarcely can hold it, what must be my state to-morrow! What next day! +What as the hour hastens on; as the sun descends; as my hand touches +hers in sign of wedded unity, of love without interval; of concord +without end!</p> + +<p>I must quell these tumults. They will disable me else. They will wear +out all my strength. They will drain away life itself. But who could +have thought! So soon! Not three months since I first set eyes upon her. +Not three weeks since our plighted love, and only three days to +terminate suspense and give me <i>all</i>.</p> + +<p>I must compel myself to quiet; to sleep. I must find some refuge from +anticipations so excruciating. All extremes are agonies. A joy like this +is too big for this narrow tenement. I must thrust it forth; I must bar +and bolt it out for a time, or these frail walls will burst asunder. +The pen is a pacifier. It checks the mind's career; it circumscribes her +wanderings. It traces out and compels us to adhere to one path. It ever +was my friend. Often it has blunted my vexations; hushed my stormy +passions; turned my peevishness to soothing; my fierce revenge to +heart-dissolving pity.</p> + +<p>Perhaps it will befriend me now. It may temper my impetuous wishes; lull +my intoxication; and render my happiness supportable; and, indeed, it +has produced partly this effect already. My blood, within the few +minutes thus employed, flows with less destructive rapidity. My thoughts +range themselves in less disorder. And, now that the conquest is +effected, what shall I say? I must continue at the pen, or shall +immediately relapse.</p> + +<p>What shall I say? Let me look back upon the steps that led me hither. +Let me recount the preliminaries. I cannot do better.</p> + +<p>And first as to Achsa Fielding,—to describe this woman.</p> + +<p>To recount, in brief, so much of her history as has come to my knowledge +will best account for that zeal, almost to idolatry, with which she has, +ever since I thoroughly knew her, been regarded by me.</p> + +<p>Never saw I one to whom the term <i>lovely</i> more truly belonged. And yet +in stature she is too low; in complexion dark and almost sallow; and her +eyes, though black and of piercing lustre, have a cast which I cannot +well explain. It lessens without destroying their lustre and their force +to charm; but all personal defects are outweighed by her heart and her +intellect. There is the secret of her power to entrance the soul of the +listener and beholder. It is not only when she sings that her utterance +is musical. It is not only when the occasion is urgent and the topic +momentous that her eloquence is rich and flowing. They are always so.</p> + +<p>I had vowed to love her and serve her, and been her frequent visitant, +long before I was acquainted with her past life. I had casually picked +up some intelligence, from others, or from her own remarks. I knew very +soon that she was English by birth, and had been only a year and a half +in America; that she had scarcely passed her twenty-fifth year, and was +still embellished with all the graces of youth; that she had been a +wife; but was uninformed whether the knot had been untied by death or +divorce; that she possessed considerable, and even splendid, fortune; +but the exact amount, and all besides these particulars, were unknown to +me till some time after our acquaintance was begun.</p> + +<p>One evening she had been talking very earnestly on the influence +annexed, in Great Britain, to birth, and had given me some examples of +this influence. Meanwhile my eyes were fixed steadfastly on hers. The +peculiarity in their expression never before affected me so strongly. A +vague resemblance to something seen elsewhere, on the same day, +occurred, and occasioned me to exclaim, suddenly, in a pause of her +discourse,—</p> + +<p>"As I live, my good mamma, those eyes of yours have told me a secret. I +almost think they spoke to me; and I am not less amazed at the +strangeness than at the distinctness of their story."</p> + +<p>"And, pr'ythee, what have they said?"</p> + +<p>"Perhaps I was mistaken. I might have been deceived by a fancied voice, +or have confounded one word with another near akin to it; but let me die +if I did not think they said that you were—<i>a Jew</i>."</p> + +<p>At this sound, her features were instantly veiled with the deepest +sorrow and confusion. She put her hand to her eyes, the tears started, +and she sobbed. My surprise at this effect of my words was equal to my +contrition. I besought her to pardon me for having thus unknowingly +alarmed and grieved her.</p> + +<p>After she had regained some composure, she said, "You have not offended, +Arthur. Your surmise was just and natural, and could not always have +escaped you. Connected with that word are many sources of anguish, which +time has not, and never will, dry up; and the less I think of past +events the less will my peace be disturbed. I was desirous that you +should know nothing of me but what you see; nothing but the present and +the future, merely that no allusions might occur in our conversation +which will call up sorrows and regrets that will avail nothing.</p> + +<p>"I now perceive the folly of endeavouring to keep you in ignorance, and +shall therefore, once for all, inform you of what has befallen me, that +your inquiries and suggestions may be made and fully satisfied at once, +and your curiosity have no motive for calling back my thoughts to what I +ardently desire to bury in oblivion.</p> + +<p>"My father was indeed a <i>Jew</i>, and one of the most opulent of his nation +in London,—a Portuguese by birth, but came to London when a boy. He had +few of the moral or external qualities of Jews; for I suppose there is +some justice in the obloquy that follows them so closely. He was frugal +without meanness, and cautious in his dealings, without extortion. I +need not fear to say this, for it was the general voice.</p> + +<p>"Me, an only child, and, of course, the darling of my parents, they +trained up in the most liberal manner. My education was purely English. +I learned the same things and of the same masters with my neighbours. +Except frequenting their church and repeating their creed, and partaking +of the same food, I saw no difference between them and me. Hence I grew +more indifferent, perhaps, than was proper, to the distinctions of +religion. They were never enforced upon me. No pains were taken to fill +me with scruples and antipathies. They never stood, as I may say, upon +the threshold. They were often thought upon, but were vague and easily +eluded or forgotten.</p> + +<p>"Hence it was that my heart too readily admitted impressions that more +zeal and more parental caution would have saved me from. They could +scarcely be avoided, as my society was wholly English, and my youth, my +education, and my father's wealth made me an object of much attention. +And the same causes that lulled to sleep my own watchfulness had the +same effect upon that of others. To regret or to praise this remissness +is now too late. Certain it is, that my destiny, and not a happy +destiny, was fixed by it.</p> + +<p>"The fruit of this remissness was a passion for one who fully returned +it. Almost as young as I, who was only sixteen; he knew as little as +myself what obstacles the difference of our births was likely to raise +between us. His father, Sir Ralph Fielding, a man nobly born, high in +office, splendidly allied, could not be expected to consent to the +marriage of his eldest son, in such green youth, to the daughter of an +alien, a Portuguese, a Jew; but these impediments were not seen by my +ignorance, and were overlooked by the youth's passion.</p> + +<p>"But, strange to tell, what common prudence would have so confidently +predicted did not happen. Sir Ralph had a numerous family, likely to be +still more so; had but slender patrimony; the income of his offices +nearly made up his all. The young man was headstrong, impetuous, and +would probably disregard the inclinations of his family. Yet the father +would not consent but on one condition,—that of my admission to the +English Church.</p> + +<p>"No very strenuous opposition to these terms could be expected from me. +At so thoughtless an age, with an education so unfavourable to religious +impressions; swayed, likewise, by the strongest of human passions; made +somewhat impatient, by the company I kept, of the disrepute and scorn to +which the Jewish nation are everywhere condemned, I could not be +expected to be very averse to the scheme.</p> + +<p>"My fears as to what my father's decision would be were soon at an end. +He loved his child too well to thwart her wishes in so essential a +point. Finding in me no scruples, no unwillingness, he thought it absurd +to be scrupulous for me. My own heart having abjured my religion, it was +absurd to make any difficulty about a formal renunciation. These were +his avowed reasons for concurrence, but time showed that he had probably +other reasons, founded, indeed, in his regard for my happiness, but such +as, if they had been known, would probably have strengthened into +invincible the reluctance of my lover's family.</p> + +<p>"No marriage was ever attended with happier presages. The numerous +relations of my husband admitted me with the utmost cordiality among +them. My father's tenderness was unabated by this change, and those +humiliations to which I had before been exposed were now no more; and +every tie was strengthened, at the end of a year, by the feelings of a +<i>mother</i>. I had need, indeed, to know a season of happiness, that I +might be fitted to endure the sad reverses that succeeded. One after the +other my disasters came, each one more heavy than the last, and in such +swift succession that they hardly left me time to breathe.</p> + +<p>"I had scarcely left my chamber, I had scarcely recovered my usual +health, and was able to press with true fervour the new and precious +gift to my bosom, when melancholy tidings came. I was in the country, at +the seat of my father-in-law, when the messenger arrived.</p> + +<p>"A shocking tale it was! and told abruptly, with every unpitying +aggravation. I hinted to you once my father's death. The <i>kind</i> of +death—oh! my friend! It was horrible. He was then a placid, venerable +old man; though many symptoms of disquiet had long before been +discovered by my mother's watchful tenderness. Yet none could suspect +him capable of such a deed; for none, so carefully had he conducted his +affairs, suspected the havoc that mischance had made of his property.</p> + +<p>"I, that had so much reason to love my father,—I will leave you to +imagine how I was affected by a catastrophe so dreadful, so +unlooked-for. Much less could I suspect the cause of his despair; yet he +had foreseen his ruin before my marriage; had resolved to defer it, for +his daughter's and his wife's sake, as long as possible, but had still +determined not to survive the day that should reduce him to indigence. +The desperate act was thus preconcerted—thus deliberate.</p> + +<p>"The true state of his affairs was laid open by his death. The failure +of great mercantile houses at Frankfort and Liege was the cause of his +disasters.</p> + +<p>"Thus were my prospects shut in. That wealth which, no doubt, furnished +the chief inducement with my husband's family to concur in his choice, +was now suddenly exchanged for poverty.</p> + +<p>"Bred up, as I had been, in pomp and luxury; conscious that my wealth +was my chief security from the contempt of the proud and bigoted, and my +chief title to the station to which I had been raised, and which I the +more delighted in because it enabled me to confer so great obligations +on my husband,—what reverse could be harder than this, and how much +bitterness was added by it to the grief occasioned by the violent death +of my father!</p> + +<p>"Yet loss of fortune, though it mortified my pride, did not prove my +worst calamity. Perhaps it was scarcely to be ranked with evils, since +it furnished a touchstone by which my husband's affections were to be +tried; especially as the issue of the trial was auspicious; for my +misfortune seemed only to heighten the interest which my character had +made for me in the hearts of all that knew me. The paternal regards of +Sir Ralph had always been tender, but that tenderness seemed now to be +redoubled.</p> + +<p>"New events made this consolation still more necessary. My unhappy +mother!—She was nearer to the dreadful scene when it happened; had no +surviving object to beguile her sorrow; was rendered, by long habit, +more dependent upon fortune than her child.</p> + +<p>"A melancholy, always mute, was the first effect upon my mother. Nothing +could charm her eye, or her ear. Sweet sounds that she once loved, and +especially when her darling child was the warbler, were heard no longer. +How, with streaming eyes, have I sat and watched the dear lady, and +endeavoured to catch her eye, to rouse her attention!—But I must not +think of these things.</p> + +<p>"But even this distress was little in comparison with what was to come. +A frenzy thus mute, motionless, and vacant, was succeeded by fits, +talkative, outrageous, requiring incessant superintendence, restraint, +and even violence.</p> + +<p>"Why led you me thus back to my sad remembrances? Excuse me for the +present. I will tell you the rest some other time; to-morrow."</p> + +<p>To-morrow, accordingly, my friend resumed her story.</p> + +<p>"Let me now make an end," said she, "of my mournful narrative, and +never, I charge you, do any thing to revive it again.</p> + +<p>"Deep as was my despondency, occasioned by these calamities, I was not +destitute of some joy. My husband and my child were lovely and +affectionate. In their caresses, in their welfare, I found peace; and +might still have found it, had there not been——. But why should I open +afresh wounds which time has imperfectly closed? But the story must some +time be told to you, and the sooner it is told and dismissed to +forgetfulness the better.</p> + +<p>"My ill fate led me into company with a woman too well known in the idle +and dissipated circles. Her character was not unknown to me. There was +nothing in her features or air to obviate disadvantageous +prepossessions. I sought not her intercourse; I rather shunned it, as +unpleasing and discreditable, but she would not be repulsed. +Self-invited, she made herself my frequent guest; took unsolicited part +in my concerns; did me many kind offices; and, at length, in spite of my +counter-inclination, won upon my sympathy and gratitude.</p> + +<p>"No one in the world, did I fondly think, had I less reason to fear than +Mrs. Waring. Her character excited not the slightest apprehension for my +own safety. She was upwards of forty, nowise remarkable for grace or +beauty; tawdry in her dress; accustomed to render more conspicuous the +traces of age by her attempts to hide them; the mother of a numerous +family, with a mind but slenderly cultivated; always careful to save +appearances; studiously preserving distance with my husband, and he, +like myself, enduring rather than wishing her society. What could I fear +from the arts of such a one?</p> + +<p>"But alas! the woman had consummate address. Patience, too, that nothing +could tire. Watchfulness that none could detect. Insinuation the wiliest +and most subtle. Thus wound she herself into my affections, by an +unexampled perseverance in seeming kindness; by tender confidence; by +artful glosses of past misconduct; by self-rebukes and feigned +contritions.</p> + +<p>"Never were stratagems so intricate, dissimulation so profound! But +still, that such a one should seduce my husband; young, generous, +ambitious, impatient of contumely and reproach, and surely not +indifferent; before this fatal intercourse, not indifferent to his wife +and child!—Yet so it was!</p> + +<p>"I saw his discontents; his struggles; I heard him curse this woman, and +the more deeply for my attempts, unconscious as I was of her +machinations, to reconcile them to each other, to do away what seemed a +causeless indignation, or antipathy against her. How little I suspected +the nature of the conflict in his heart, between a new passion and the +claims of pride; of conscience and of humanity; the claims of a child +and a wife; a wife, already in affliction, and placing all that yet +remained of happiness, in the firmness of his virtue; in the continuance +of his love; a wife, at the very hour of his meditated flight, full of +terrors at the near approach of an event whose agonies demand a double +share of a husband's supporting, encouraging love——</p> + +<p>"Good Heaven! For what evils are some of thy creatures reserved! +Resignation to thy decree, in the last and most cruel distress, was, +indeed, a hard task.</p> + +<p>"He was gone. Some unavoidable engagement calling him to Hamburg was +pleaded. Yet to leave me at such an hour! I dared not upbraid, nor +object. The tale was so specious! The fortunes of a friend depended on +his punctual journey. The falsehood of his story too soon made itself +known. He was gone, in company with his detested paramour!</p> + +<p>"Yet, though my vigilance was easily deceived, it was not so with +others. A creditor, who had his bond for three thousand pounds, pursued +and arrested him at Harwich. He was thrown into prison, but his +companion—let me, at least, say that in her praise—would not desert +him. She took lodging near the place of his confinement, and saw him +daily. That, had she not done it, and had my personal condition allowed, +should have been my province.</p> + +<p>"Indignation and grief hastened the painful crisis with me. I did not +weep that the second fruit of this unhappy union saw not the light. I +wept only that this hour of agony was not, to its unfortunate mother, +the last.</p> + +<p>"I felt not anger; I had nothing but compassion for Fielding. Gladly +would I have recalled him to my arms and to virtue; I wrote, adjuring +him, by all our past joys, to return; vowing only gratitude for his new +affection, and claiming only the recompense of seeing him restored to +his family; to liberty; to reputation.</p> + +<p>"But, alas! Fielding had a good but a proud heart. He looked upon his +error with remorse, with self-detestation, and with the fatal belief +that it could not be retrieved; shame made him withstand all my +reasonings and persuasions, and, in the hurry of his feelings, he made +solemn vows that he would, in the moment of restored liberty, abjure his +country and his family forever. He bore indignantly the yoke of his new +attachment, but he strove in vain to shake it off. Her behaviour, always +yielding, doting, supplicative, preserved him in her fetters. Though +upbraided, spurned, and banished from his presence, she would not leave +him, but, by new efforts and new artifices, soothed, appeased, and won +again and kept his tenderness.</p> + +<p>"What my entreaties were unable to effect, his father could not hope to +accomplish. He offered to take him from prison; the creditor offered to +cancel the bond, if he would return to me; but this condition he +refused. All his kindred, and one who had been his bosom-friend from +childhood, joined in beseeching his compliance with these conditions; +but his pride, his dread of my merited reproaches, the merits and +dissuasions of his new companion, whose sacrifices for his sake had not +been small, were obstacles which nothing could subdue.</p> + +<p>"Far, indeed, was I from imposing these conditions. I waited only till, +by certain arrangements, I could gather enough to pay his debts, to +enable him to execute his vow: empty would have been my claims to his +affection, if I could have suffered, with the means of his deliverance +in my hands, my husband to remain a moment in prison.</p> + +<p>"The remains of my father's vast fortune was a jointure of a thousand +pounds a year, settled on my mother, and, after her death, on me. My +mother's helpless condition put this revenue into my disposal. By this +means was I enabled, without the knowledge of my father-in-law or my +husband, to purchase the debt, and dismiss him from prison. He set out +instantly, in company with his paramour, to France.</p> + +<p>"When somewhat recovered from the shock of this calamity, I took up my +abode with my mother. What she had was enough, as you perhaps will +think, for plentiful subsistence; but to us, with habits of a different +kind, it was little better than poverty. That reflection, my father's +memory, my mother's deplorable state, which every year grew worse, and +the late misfortune, were the chief companions of my thoughts.</p> + +<p>"The dear child, whose smiles were uninterrupted by his mother's +afflictions, was some consolation in my solitude. To his instruction and +to my mother's wants all my hours were devoted. I was sometimes not +without the hope of better days. Full as my mind was of Fielding's +merits, convinced by former proofs of his ardent and generous spirit, I +trusted that time and reflection would destroy that spell by which he +was now bound.</p> + +<p>"For some time, the progress of these reflections was not known. In +leaving England, Fielding dropped all correspondence and connection with +his native country. He parted with the woman at Rouen, leaving no trace +behind him by which she might follow him, as she wished to do. She never +returned to England, but died a twelvemonth afterwards in Switzerland.</p> + +<p>"As to me, I had only to muse day and night upon the possible destiny of +this beloved fugitive. His incensed father cared not for him. He had +cast him out of his paternal affections, ceased to make inquiries +respecting him, and even wished never to hear of him again. My boy +succeeded to my husband's place in his grandfather's affections, and in +the hopes and views of the family; and his mother wanted nothing which +their compassionate and respectful love could bestow.</p> + +<p>"Three long and tedious years passed away, and no tidings were received. +Whether he were living or dead, nobody could tell. At length, an English +traveller, going out of the customary road from Italy, met with +Fielding, in a town in the Venaissin. His manners, habits, and language, +had become French. He seemed unwilling to be recognised by an old +acquaintance, but, not being able to avoid this, and becoming gradually +familiar, he informed the traveller of many particulars in his present +situation. It appeared that he had made himself useful to a neighbouring +<i>seigneur</i>, in whose <i>château</i> he had long lived on the footing of a +brother. France he had resolved to make his future country, and, among +other changes for that end, he had laid aside his English name, and +taken that of his patron, which was <i>Perrin</i>. He had endeavoured to +compensate himself for all other privations, by devoting himself to +rural amusements and to study.</p> + +<p>"He carefully shunned all inquiries respecting me; but, when my name was +mentioned by his friend, who knew well all that had happened, and my +general welfare, together with that of his son, asserted, he showed deep +sensibility, and even consented that I should be made acquainted with +his situation.</p> + +<p>"I cannot describe the effect of this intelligence on me. My hopes of +bringing him back to me were suddenly revived. I wrote him a letter, in +which I poured forth my whole heart; but his answer contained avowals of +all his former resolutions, to which time had only made his adherence +more easy. A second and third letter were written, and an offer made to +follow him to his retreat and share his exile; but all my efforts +availed nothing. He solemnly and repeatedly renounced all the claims of +a husband over me, and absolved me from every obligation as a wife.</p> + +<p>"His part in this correspondence was performed without harshness or +contempt. A strange mixture there was of pathos and indifference; of +tenderness and resolution. Hence I continually derived hope, which time, +however, brought no nearer to certainty.</p> + +<p>"At the opening of the Revolution, the name of Perrin appeared among the +deputies to the constituent assembly for the district in which he +resided. He had thus succeeded in gaining all the rights of a French +citizen; and the hopes of his return became almost extinct; but that, +and every other hope respecting him, has since been totally extinguished +by his marriage with Marguerite d'Almont, a young lady of great merit +and fortune, and a native of Avignon.</p> + +<p>"A long period of suspense was now at an end, and left me in a state +almost as full of anguish as that which our first separation produced. +My sorrows were increased by my mother's death, and, this incident +freeing me from those restraints upon my motions which before existed, I +determined to come to America.</p> + +<p>"My son was now eight years old, and, his grandfather claiming the +province of his instruction, I was persuaded to part with him, that he +might be sent to a distant school. Thus was another tie removed, and, in +spite of the well-meant importunities of my friends, I persisted in my +scheme of crossing the ocean."</p> + +<p>I could not help, at this part of her narration, expressing my surprise +that any motives were strong enough to recommend this scheme.</p> + +<p>"It was certainly a freak of despair. A few months would, perhaps, have +allayed the fresh grief, and reconciled me to my situation; but I would +not pause or deliberate. My scheme was opposed by my friends with great +earnestness. During my voyage, affrighted by the dangers which +surrounded me, and to which I was wholly unused, I heartily repented of +my resolution; but now, methinks, I have reason to rejoice at my +perseverance. I have come into a scene and society so new, I have had so +many claims made upon my ingenuity and fortitude, that my mind has been +diverted in some degree from former sorrows. There are even times when I +wholly forget them, and catch myself indulging in cheerful reveries.</p> + +<p>"I have often reflected with surprise on the nature of my own mind. It +is eight years since my father's violent death. How few of my hours +since that period have been blessed with serenity! How many nights and +days, in hateful and lingering succession, have been bathed in tears and +tormented with regrets! That I am still alive, with so many causes of +death, and with such a slow-consuming malady, is surely to be wondered +at.</p> + +<p>"I believe the worst foes of man, at least of men in grief, are solitude +and idleness. The same eternally-occurring round of objects feeds his +disease, and the effects of mere vacancy and uniformity are sometimes +mistaken for those of grief. Yes, I am glad I came to America. My +relations are importunate for my return, and till lately I had some +thoughts of it; but I think now I shall stay where I am for the rest of +my days.</p> + +<p>"Since I arrived, I am become more of a student than I used to be. I +always loved literature, but never, till of late, had I a mind enough at +ease to read with advantage. I now find pleasure in the occupation which +I never expected to find.</p> + +<p>"You see in what manner I live. The letters which I brought secured me a +flattering reception from the best people in your country; but scenes of +gay resort had nothing to attract me, and I quickly withdrew to that +seclusion in which you now find me. Here, always at leisure, and +mistress of every laudable means of gratification, I am not without the +belief of serene days yet to come."</p> + +<p>I now ventured to inquire what were her latest tidings of her husband.</p> + +<p>"At the opening of the Revolution, I told you, he became a champion of +the people. By his zeal and his efforts he acquired such importance as +to be deputed to the National Assembly. In this post he was the adherent +of violent measures, till the subversion of monarchy; and then, when too +late for his safety, he checked his career."</p> + +<p>"And what has since become of him?"</p> + +<p>She sighed deeply. "You were yesterday reading a list of the proscribed +under Robespierre. I checked you. I had good reason. But this subject +grows too painful; let us change it."</p> + +<p>Some time after, I ventured to renew this topic; and discovered that +Fielding, under his new name of Perrin d'Almont, was among the outlawed +deputies of last year,<a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> and had been slain in resisting the officers +sent to arrest him. My friend had been informed that his <i>wife</i>, +Marguerite d'Almont, whom she had reason to believe a woman of great +merit, had eluded persecution, and taken refuge in some part of America. +She had made various attempts, but in vain, to find out her retreat. +"Ah!" said I, "you must commission me to find her. I will hunt her +through the continent from Penobscot to Savannah. I will not leave a +nook unsearched."</p> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> 1793.</p></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XLVII.</h3> + + +<p>None will be surprised that, to a woman thus unfortunate and thus +deserving, my heart willingly rendered up all its sympathies; that, as I +partook of all her grief, I hailed, with equal delight, those omens of +felicity which now, at length, seemed to play in her fancy.</p> + +<p>I saw her often,—as often as my engagements would permit, and oftener +than I allowed myself to visit any other. In this I was partly selfish. +So much entertainment, so much of the best instruction, did her +conversation afford me, that I never had enough of it.</p> + +<p>Her experience had been so much larger than mine, and so wholly +different, and she possessed such unbounded facility of recounting all +she had seen and felt, and absolute sincerity and unreserve in this +respect were so fully established between us, that I can imagine nothing +equally instructive and delightful with her conversation.</p> + +<p>Books are cold, jejune, vexatious in their sparingness of information at +one time and their impertinent loquacity at another. Besides, all they +choose to give they give at once; they allow no questions, offer no +further explanations, and bend not to the caprices of our curiosity. +They talk to us behind a screen. Their tone is lifeless and monotonous. +They charm not our attention by mute significances of gesture and looks. +They spread no light upon their meaning by cadences and emphasis and +pause.</p> + +<p>How different was Mrs. Fielding's discourse! So versatile; so bending to +the changes of the occasion; so obsequious to my curiosity, and so +abundant in that very knowledge in which I was most deficient, and on +which I set the most value, the knowledge of the human heart; of +society as it existed in another world, more abundant in the varieties +of customs and characters, than I had ever had the power to witness.</p> + +<p>Partly selfish I have said my motives were, but not so, as long as I saw +that my friend derived pleasure, in her turn, from my company. Not that +I could add directly to her knowledge or pleasure, but that expansion of +heart, that ease of utterance and flow of ideas which always were +occasioned by my approach, were sources of true pleasure of which she +had been long deprived, and for which her privation had given her a +higher relish than ever.</p> + +<p>She lived in great affluence and independence, but made use of her +privileges of fortune chiefly to secure to herself the command of her +own time. She had been long ago tired and disgusted with the dull and +fulsome uniformity and parade of the play-house and ballroom. Formal +visits were endured as mortifications and penances, by which the +delights of privacy and friendly intercourse were by contrast increased. +Music she loved, but never sought it in places of public resort, or from +the skill of mercenary performers; and books were not the least of her +pleasures.</p> + +<p>As to me, I was wax in her hand. Without design and without effort, I +was always of that form she wished me to assume. My own happiness became +a secondary passion, and her gratification the great end of my being. +When with her, I thought not of myself. I had scarcely a separate or +independent existence, since my senses were occupied by her, and my mind +was full of those ideas which her discourse communicated. To meditate on +her looks and words, and to pursue the means suggested by my own +thoughts, or by her, conducive, in any way, to her good, was all my +business.</p> + +<p>"What a fate," said I, at the conclusion of one of our interviews, "has +been yours! But, thank Heaven, the storm has disappeared before the age +of sensibility has gone past, and without drying up every source of +happiness. You are still young; all your powers unimpaired; rich in the +compassion and esteem of the world; wholly independent of the claims and +caprices of others; amply supplied with that means of usefulness, +called money; wise in that experience which only adversity can give. +Past evils and sufferings, if incurred and endured without guilt, if +called to view without remorse, make up the materials of present joy. +They cheer our most dreary hours with the widespread accents of 'well +done,' and they heighten our pleasures into somewhat of celestial +brilliancy, by furnishing a deep, a ruefully-deep, contrast.</p> + +<p>"From this moment, I will cease to weep for you. I will call you the +happiest of women. I will share with you your happiness by witnessing +it; but that shall not content me. I must some way contribute to it. +Tell me how I shall serve you. What can I do to make you happier? Poor +am I in every thing but zeal, but still I may do something. What—pray +tell me, what can I do?"</p> + +<p>She looked at me with sweet and solemn significance. What it was exactly +I could not divine, yet I was strangely affected by it. It was but a +glance, instantly withdrawn. She made me no answer.</p> + +<p>"You must not be silent; you <i>must</i> tell me what I can do for you. +Hitherto I have done nothing. All the service is on your side. Your +conversation has been my study, a delightful study, but the profit has +only been mine. Tell me how I can be grateful: my voice and manner, I +believe, seldom belie my feelings." At this time, I had almost done what +a second thought made me suspect to be unauthorized. Yet I cannot tell +why. My heart had nothing in it but reverence and admiration. Was she +not the substitute of my lost mamma? Would I not have clasped that +beloved shade? Yet the two beings were not just the same, or I should +not, as now, have checked myself, and only pressed her hand to my lips.</p> + +<p>"Tell me," repeated I, "what can I do to serve you? I read to you a +little now, and you are pleased with my reading. I copy for you when you +want the time. I guide the reins for you when you choose to ride. Humble +offices, indeed, though, perhaps, all that a raw youth like me can do +for you; but I can be still more assiduous. I can read several hours in +the day, instead of one. I can write ten times as much as now.</p> + +<p>"Are you not my lost mamma come back again? And yet, not <i>exactly</i> her, +I think. Something different; something better, I believe, if that be +possible. At any rate, methinks I would be wholly yours. I shall be +impatient and uneasy till every act, every thought, every minute, +someway does you good.</p> + +<p>"How!" said I, (her eye, still averted, seemed to hold back the tear +with difficulty, and she made a motion as if to rise,) "have I grieved +you? Have I been importunate? Forgive me if I have offended you."</p> + +<p>Her eyes now overflowed without restraint. She articulated, with +difficulty, "Tears are too prompt with me of late; but they did not +upbraid you. Pain has often caused them to flow, but now +it—is—<i>pleasure</i>."</p> + +<p>"What a heart must yours be!" I resumed. "When susceptible of such +pleasures, what pangs must formerly have rent it!—But you are not +displeased, you say, with my importunate zeal. You will accept me as +your own in every thing. Direct me; prescribe to me. There must be +<i>something</i> in which I can be of still more use to you; some way in +which I can be wholly yours——"</p> + +<p>"<i>Wholly mine!</i>" she repeated, in a smothered voice, and rising. "Leave +me, Arthur. It is too late for you to be here. It was wrong to stay so +late."</p> + +<p>"I have been wrong; but how too late? I entered but this moment. It is +twilight still; is it not?"</p> + +<p>"No: it is almost twelve. You have been here a long four hours; short +ones I would rather say,—but indeed you must go."</p> + +<p>"What made me so thoughtless of the time? But I will go, yet not till +you forgive me." I approached her with a confidence and for a purpose at +which, upon reflection, I am not a little surprised; but the being +called Mervyn is not the same in her company and in that of another. +What is the difference, and whence comes it? Her words and looks engross +me. My mind wants room for any other object. But why inquire whence the +difference? The superiority of her merits and attractions to all those +whom I knew would surely account for my fervour. Indifference, if I +felt it, would be the only just occasion of wonder.</p> + +<p>The hour was, indeed, too late, and I hastened home. Stevens was waiting +my return with some anxiety. I apologized for my delay, and recounted to +him what had just passed. He listened with more than usual interest. +When I had finished,—</p> + +<p>"Mervyn," said he, "you seem not be aware of your present situation. +From what you now tell me, and from what you have formerly told me, one +thing seems very plain to me."</p> + +<p>"Pr'ythee, what is it?"</p> + +<p>"Eliza Hadwin:—do you wish—could you bear—to see her the wife of +another?"</p> + +<p>"Five years hence I will answer you. Then my answer may be, 'No; I wish +her only to be mine.' Till then, I wish her only to be my pupil, my +ward, my sister."</p> + +<p>"But these are remote considerations; they are bars to marriage, but not +to love. Would it not molest and disquiet you to observe in her a +passion for another?"</p> + +<p>"It would, but only on her own account; not on mine. At a suitable age +it is very likely I may love her, because it is likely, if she holds on +in her present career, she will then be worthy; but at present, though I +would die to insure her happiness, I have no wish to insure it by +marriage with her."</p> + +<p>"Is there no other whom you love?"</p> + +<p>"No. There is one worthier than all others; one whom I wish the woman +who shall be my wife to resemble in all things."</p> + +<p>"And who is this model?"</p> + +<p>"You know I can only mean Achsa Fielding."</p> + +<p>"If you love her likeness, why not love herself?"</p> + +<p>I felt my heart leap.—"What a thought is that! Love her I <i>do</i> as I +love my God; as I love virtue. To love her in another sense would brand +me for a lunatic."</p> + +<p>"To love her as a woman, then, appears to you an act of folly."</p> + +<p>"In me it would be worse than folly. 'Twould be frenzy."</p> + +<p>"And why?"</p> + +<p>"Why? Really, my friend, you astonish me. Nay, you startle me—for a +question like that implies a doubt in you whether I have not actually +harboured the thought."</p> + +<p>"No," said he, smiling, "presumptuous though you be, you have not, +to-be-sure, reached so high a pitch. But still, though I think you +innocent of so heinous an offence, there is no harm in asking why you +might not love her, and even seek her for a wife."</p> + +<p>Achsa Fielding <i>my wife</i>! Good Heaven!—The very sound threw my soul +into unconquerable tumults. "Take care, my friend," continued I, in +beseeching accents, "you may do me more injury than you conceive, by +even starting such a thought."</p> + +<p>"True," said he, "as long as such obstacles exist to your success; so +many incurable objections: for instance, she is six years older than +you."</p> + +<p>"That is an advantage. Her age is what it ought to be."</p> + +<p>"But she has been a wife and mother already."</p> + +<p>"That is likewise an advantage. She has wisdom, because she has +experience. Her sensibilities are stronger, because they have been +exercised and chastened. Her first marriage was unfortunate. The purer +is the felicity she will taste in a second! If her second choice be +propitious, the greater her tenderness and gratitude."</p> + +<p>"But she is a foreigner; independent of control, and rich."</p> + +<p>"All which are blessings to herself, and to him for whom her hand is +reserved; especially if, like me, he is indigent."</p> + +<p>"But then she is unsightly as a <i>night-hag</i>, tawny as a Moor, the eye of +a gipsy, low in stature, contemptibly diminutive, scarcely bulk enough +to cast a shadow as she walks, less luxuriance than a charred log, fewer +elasticities than a sheet pebble."</p> + +<p>"Hush! hush! blasphemer!"—(and I put my hand before his mouth)—"have I +not told you that in mind, person, and condition, she is the type after +which my enamoured fancy has modelled my wife?"</p> + +<p>"Oh ho! Then the objection does not lie with you. It lies with her, it +seems. She can find nothing in you to esteem! And, pray, for what faults +do you think she would reject you?"</p> + +<p>"I cannot tell. That she can ever balance for a moment, on such a +question, is incredible. <i>Me! me!</i> That Achsa Fielding should think of +me!"</p> + +<p>"Incredible, indeed! You, who are loathsome in your person, an idiot in +your understanding, a villain in your morals! deformed! withered! vain, +stupid, and malignant. That such a one should choose <i>you</i> for an idol!"</p> + +<p>"Pray, my friend," said I, anxiously, "jest not. What mean you by a hint +of this kind?"</p> + +<p>"I will not jest, then, but will soberly inquire, what faults are they +which make this lady's choice of you so incredible? You are younger than +she, though no one, who merely observed your manners and heard you talk, +would take you to be under thirty. You are poor: are these impediments?"</p> + +<p>"I should think not. I have heard her reason with admirable eloquence +against the vain distinctions of property and nation and rank. They were +once of moment in her eyes; but the sufferings, humiliations, and +reflections of years have cured her of the folly. Her nation has +suffered too much by the inhuman antipathies of religious and political +faction; she, herself, has felt so often the contumelies of the rich, +the high-born, and the bigoted, that——"</p> + +<p>"Pr'ythee, then, what dost imagine her objections to be?"</p> + +<p>"Why—I don't know. The thought was so aspiring; to call her <i>my wife</i> +was a height of bliss the very far-off view of which made my head +dizzy."</p> + +<p>"A height, however, to attain which you suppose only her consent, her +love, to be necessary?"</p> + +<p>"Without doubt, her love is indispensable."</p> + +<p>"Sit down, Arthur, and let us no longer treat this matter lightly. I +clearly see the importance of this moment to this lady's happiness and +yours. It is plain that you love this woman. How could you help it? A +brilliant skin is not hers; nor elegant proportions; nor majestic +stature: yet no creature had ever more power to bewitch. Her manners +have grace and dignity that flow from exquisite feelings, delicate +taste, and the quickest and keenest penetration. She has the wisdom of +men and of books. Her sympathies are enforced by reason, and her +charities regulated by knowledge. She has a woman's age, fortune more +than you wish, and a spotless fame. How could you fail to love her?</p> + +<p>"<i>You</i>, who are her chosen friend, who partake her pleasures and share +her employments, on whom she almost exclusively bestows her society and +confidence, and to whom she thus affords the strongest of all indirect +proofs of impassioned esteem,—how could you, with all that firmness of +love, joined with all that discernment of her excellence, how could you +escape the enchantment?</p> + +<p>"You have not thought of marriage. You have not suspected your love. +From the purity of your mind, from the idolatry with which this woman +has inspired you, you have imagined no delight beyond that of enjoying +her society as you now do, and have never fostered a hope beyond this +privilege.</p> + +<p>"How quickly would this tranquillity vanish, and the true state of your +heart be evinced, if a rival should enter the scene and be entertained +with preference! then would the seal be removed, the spell be broken, +and you would awaken to terror and to anguish.</p> + +<p>"Of this, however, there is no danger. Your passion is not felt by you +alone. From her treatment of you, your diffidence disables you from +seeing, but nothing can be clearer to me than that she loves you."</p> + +<p>I started on my feet. A flush of scorching heat flowed to every part of +my frame. My temples began to throb like my heart. I was half delirious, +and my delirium was strangely compounded of fear and hope, of delight +and of terror.</p> + +<p>"What have you done, my friend? You have overturned my peace of mind. +Till now the image of this woman has been followed by complacency and +sober rapture; but your words have dashed the scene with dismay and +confusion. You have raised up wishes, and dreams, and doubts, which +possess me in spite of my reason, in spite of a thousand proofs.</p> + +<p>"Good God! You say she loves,—loves <i>me</i>!—me, a boy in age; bred in +clownish ignorance; scarcely ushered into the world; more than +childishly unlearned and raw; a barn-door simpleton; a plough-tail, +kitchen-hearth, turnip-hoeing novice! She, thus splendidly endowed; thus +allied to nobles; thus gifted with arts, and adorned with graces; that +she should choose me, me for the partner of her fortune; her affections; +and her life! It cannot be. Yet, if it were; if your guesses +should—prove—Oaf! madman! To indulge so fatal a chimera! So rash a +dream!</p> + +<p>"My friend! my friend! I feel that you have done me an irreparable +injury. I can never more look her in the face. I can never more frequent +her society. These new thoughts will beset and torment me. My disquiet +will chain up my tongue. That overflowing gratitude; that innocent joy, +unconscious of offence, and knowing no restraint, which have hitherto +been my titles to her favour, will fly from my features and manners. I +shall be anxious, vacant, and unhappy in her presence. I shall dread to +look at her, or to open my lips, lest my mad and unhallowed ambition +should betray itself."</p> + +<p>"Well," replied Stevens, "this scene is quite new. I could almost find +it in my heart to pity you. I did not expect this; and yet, from my +knowledge of your character, I ought, perhaps, to have foreseen it. This +is a necessary part of the drama. A joyous certainty, on these +occasions, must always be preceded by suspenses and doubts, and the +close will be joyous in proportion as the preludes are excruciating. Go +to bed, my good friend, and think of this. Time and a few more +interviews with Mrs. Fielding will, I doubt not, set all to rights."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CHAPTER XLVIII.</h3> + + +<p>I went to my chamber, but what different sensations did I carry into it +from those with which I had left it a few hours before! I stretched +myself on the mattress and put out the light; but the swarm of new +images that rushed on my mind set me again instantly in motion. All was +rapid, vague, and undefined, wearying and distracting my attention. I +was roused as by a divine voice, that said, "Sleep no more! Mervyn shall +sleep no more."</p> + +<p>What chiefly occupied me was a nameless sort of terror. What shall I +compare it to? Methinks, that one falling from a tree overhanging a +torrent, plunged into the whirling eddy, and gasping and struggling +while he sinks to rise no more, would feel just as I did then. Nay, some +such image actually possessed me. Such was one of my reveries, in which +suddenly I stretched my hand, and caught the arm of a chair. This act +called me back to reason, or rather gave my soul opportunity to roam +into a new track equally wild.</p> + +<p>Was it the abruptness of this vision that thus confounded me? was it a +latent error in my moral constitution, which this new conjuncture drew +forth into influence? These were all the tokens of a mind lost to +itself; bewildered; unhinged; plunged into a drear insanity.</p> + +<p>Nothing less could have prompted so fantastically; for, midnight as it +was, my chamber's solitude was not to be supported. After a few turns +across the floor, I left the room, and the house. I walked without +design and in a hurried pace. I posted straight to the house of Mrs. +Fielding. I lifted the latch, but the door did not open. It was, no +doubt, locked.</p> + +<p>"How comes this?" said I, and looked around me. The hour and occasion +were unthought of. Habituated to this path, I had taken it +spontaneously. "How comes this?" repeated I. "Locked upon <i>me</i>! but I +will summon them, I warrant me,"—and rung the bell, not timidly or +slightly, but with violence. Some one hastened from above. I saw the +glimmer of a candle through the keyhole.</p> + +<p>"Strange," thought I; "a candle at noonday!"—The door was opened, and +my poor Bess, robed in a careless and hasty manner, appeared. She +started at sight of me, but merely because she did not, in a moment, +recognise me.—"Ah! Arthur, is it you? Come in. My mamma has wanted you +these two hours. I was just going to despatch Philip to tell you to +come."</p> + +<p>"Lead me to her," said I.</p> + +<p>She led the way into the parlour.—"Wait a moment here; I will tell her +you are come;"—and she tripped away.</p> + +<p>Presently a step was heard. The door opened again, and then entered a +man. He was tall, elegant, sedate to a degree of sadness; something in +his dress and aspect that bespoke the foreigner, the Frenchman.</p> + +<p>"What," said he, mildly, "is your business with my wife? She cannot see +you instantly, and has sent me to receive your commands."</p> + +<p>"Your <i>wife</i>! I want Mrs. Fielding."</p> + +<p>"True; and Mrs. Fielding is my wife. Thank Heaven, I have come in time +to discover her, and claim her as such."</p> + +<p>I started back. I shuddered. My joints slackened, and I stretched my +hand to catch something by which I might be saved from sinking on the +floor. Meanwhile, Fielding changed his countenance into rage and fury. +He called me villain! bade me avaunt! and drew a shining steel from his +bosom, with which he stabbed me to the heart. I sunk upon the floor, and +all, for a time, was darkness and oblivion! At length, I returned as it +were to life. I opened my eyes. The mists disappeared, and I found +myself stretched upon the bed in my own chamber. I remembered the fatal +blow I had received. I put my hand upon my breast; the spot where the +dagger entered. There were no traces of a wound. All was perfect and +entire. Some miracle had made me whole.</p> + +<p>I raised myself up. I re-examined my body. All around me was hushed, +till a voice from the pavement below proclaimed that it was "past three +o'clock."</p> + +<p>"What!" said I; "has all this miserable pageantry, this midnight +wandering, and this ominous interview, been no more than—<i>a dream</i>?"</p> + +<p>It may be proper to mention, in explanation of this scene, and to show +the thorough perturbation of my mind during this night, intelligence +gained some days after from Eliza. She said, that about two o'clock, on +this night, she was roused by a violent ringing of the bell. She was +startled by so unseasonable a summons. She slept in a chamber adjoining +Mrs. Fielding's, and hesitated whether she should alarm her friend; but, +the summons not being repeated, she had determined to forbear.</p> + +<p>Added to this, was the report of Mrs. Stevens, who, on the same night, +about half an hour after I and her husband had retired, imagined that +she heard the street door opened and shut; but, this being followed by +no other consequence, she supposed herself mistaken. I have little doubt +that, in my feverish and troubled sleep, I actually went forth, posted +to the house of Mrs. Fielding, rung for admission, and shortly after +returned to my own apartment.</p> + +<p>This confusion of mind was somewhat allayed by the return of light. It +gave way to more uniform but not less rueful and despondent perceptions. +The image of Achsa filled my fancy, but it was the harbinger of nothing +but humiliation and sorrow. To outroot the conviction of my own +unworthiness, to persuade myself that I was regarded with the tenderness +that Stevens had ascribed to her, that the discovery of my thoughts +would not excite her anger and grief, I felt to be impossible.</p> + +<p>In this state of mind, I could not see her. To declare my feelings would +produce indignation and anguish; to hide them from her scrutiny was not +in my power; yet, what would she think of my estranging myself from her +society? What expedient could I honestly adopt to justify my absence, +and what employments could I substitute for those precious hours +hitherto devoted to her?</p> + +<p>"<i>This</i> afternoon," thought I, "she has been invited to spend at +Stedman's country-house on Schuylkill. She consented to go, and I was to +accompany her. I am fit only for solitude. My behaviour, in her +presence, will be enigmatical, capricious, and morose. I must not go: +yet what will she think of my failure? Not to go will be injurious and +suspicious."</p> + +<p>I was undetermined. The appointed hour arrived. I stood at my +chamber-window, torn by a variety of purposes, and swayed alternately by +repugnant arguments. I several times went to the door of my apartment, +and put my foot upon the first step of the staircase, but as often +paused, reconsidered, and returned to my room.</p> + +<p>In these fluctuations the hour passed. No messenger arrived from Mrs. +Fielding, inquiring into the cause of my delay. Was she offended at my +negligence? Was she sick and disabled from going, or had she changed her +mind? I now remembered her parting words at our last interview. Were +they not susceptible of two constructions? She said my visit was too +long, and bade me begone. Did she suspect my presumption, and is she +determined thus to punish me?</p> + +<p>This terror added anew to all my former anxieties. It was impossible to +rest in this suspense. I would go to her; I would lay before her all the +anguish of my heart; I would not spare myself. She shall not reproach me +more severely than I will reproach myself. I will hear my sentence from +her own lips, and promise unlimited submission to the doom of separation +and exile which she will pronounce.</p> + +<p>I went forth to her house. The drawing-room and summer-house were empty. +I summoned Philip the footman: his mistress was gone to Mr. Stedman's.</p> + +<p>"How?—To Stedman's?—In whose company?"</p> + +<p>"Miss Stedman and her brother called for her in the carriage, and +persuaded her to go with them."</p> + +<p>Now my heart sunk, indeed! Miss Stedman's <i>brother</i>! A youth, forward, +gallant, and gay! Flushed with prosperity, and just returned from +Europe, with all the confidence of age, and all the ornaments of +education! She has gone with him, though pre-engaged to me! Poor Arthur, +how art thou despised!</p> + +<p>This information only heightened my impatience. I went away, but +returned in the evening. I waited till eleven, but she came not back. I +cannot justly paint the interval that passed till next morning. It was +void of sleep. On leaving her house, I wandered into the fields. Every +moment increased my impatience. "She will probably spend the morrow at +Stedman's," said I, "and possibly the next day. Why should I wait for +her return? Why not seek her there, and rid myself at once of this +agonizing suspense? Why not go thither now? This night, wherever I spend +it, will be unacquainted with repose. I will go; it is already near +twelve, and the distance is more than eight miles. I will hover near the +house till morning, and then, as early as possible, demand an +interview."</p> + +<p>I was well acquainted with Stedman's villa, having formerly been there +with Mrs. Fielding. I quickly entered its precincts. I went close to the +house; looked mournfully at every window. At one of them a light was to +be seen, and I took various stations to discover, if possible, the +persons within. Methought once I caught a glimpse of a female, whom my +fancy easily imagined to be Achsa. I sat down upon the lawn, some +hundred feet from the house, and opposite the window whence the light +proceeded. I watched it, till at length some one came to the window, +lifted it, and, leaning on her arms, continued to look out.</p> + +<p>The preceding day had been a very sultry one: the night, as usual after +such a day and the fall of a violent shower, was delightfully serene and +pleasant. Where I stood was enlightened by the moon. Whether she saw me +or not, I could hardly tell, or whether she distinguished any thing but +a human figure.</p> + +<p>Without reflecting on what was due to decorum and punctilio, I +immediately drew near the house. I quickly perceived that her attention +was fixed. Neither of us spoke, till I had placed myself directly under +her; I then opened my lips, without knowing in what manner to address +her. She spoke first, and in a startled and anxious voice:—</p> + +<p>"Who is that?"</p> + +<p>"Arthur Mervyn; he that was two days ago your friend."</p> + +<p>"Mervyn! What is it that brings you here at this hour? What is the +matter? What has happened? Is anybody sick?"</p> + +<p>"All is safe; all are in good health."</p> + +<p>"What then do you come hither for at such an hour?"</p> + +<p>"I meant not to disturb you; I meant not to be seen."</p> + +<p>"Good heavens! How you frighten me! What can be the reason of so +strange——"</p> + +<p>"Be not alarmed. I meant to hover near the house till morning, that I +might see you as early as possible."</p> + +<p>"For what purpose?"</p> + +<p>"I will tell you when we meet, and let that be at five o'clock; the sun +will then be risen; in the cedar-grove under the bank; till when, +farewell."</p> + +<p>Having said this, I prevented all expostulation, by turning the angle of +the house, and hastening towards the shore of the river. I roved about +the grove that I have mentioned. In one part of it is a rustic seat and +table, shrouded by trees and shrubs, and an intervening eminence, from +the view of those in the house. This I designed to be the closing scene +of my destiny.</p> + +<p>Presently I left this spot, and wandered upward through embarrassed and +obscure paths, starting forward or checking my pace, according as my +wayward meditations governed me. Shall I describe my thoughts? +Impossible! It was certainly a temporary loss of reason; nothing less +than madness could lead into such devious tracks, drag me down to so +hopeless, helpless, panicful a depth, and drag me down so suddenly; lay +waste, as at a signal, all my flourishing structures, and reduce them in +a moment to a scene of confusion and horror.</p> + +<p>What did I fear? What did I hope? What did I design? I cannot tell; my +glooms were to retire with the night. The point to which every +tumultuous feeling was linked was the coming interview with Achsa. That +was the boundary of fluctuation and suspense. Here was the sealing and +ratification of my doom.</p> + +<p>I rent a passage through the thicket, and struggled upward till I +reached the edge of a considerable precipice; I laid me down at my +length upon the rock, whose cold and hard surface I pressed with my +bared and throbbing breast. I leaned over the edge; fixed my eyes upon +the water and wept—plentifully; but why?</p> + +<p>May <i>this</i> be my heart's last beat, if I can tell why?</p> + +<p>I had wandered so far from Stedman's, that, when roused by the light, I +had some miles to walk before I could reach the place of meeting. Achsa +was already there. I slid down the rock above, and appeared before her. +Well might she be startled at my wild and abrupt appearance.</p> + +<p>I placed myself, without uttering a word, upon a seat opposite to her, +the table between, and, crossing my arms upon the table, leaned my head +upon them, while my face was turned towards and my eyes fixed upon hers. +I seemed to have lost the power and the inclination to speak.</p> + +<p>She regarded me, at first, with anxious curiosity; after examining my +looks, every emotion was swallowed up in terrified sorrow. "For God's +sake!—what does all this mean? Why am I called to this place? What +tidings, what fearful tidings, do you bring?"</p> + +<p>I did not change my posture or speak. "What," she resumed, "could +inspire all this woe? Keep me not in this suspense, Arthur; these looks +and this silence shock and afflict me too much."</p> + +<p>"Afflict you?" said I, at last; "I come to tell you what, now that I am +here, I cannot tell——" There I stopped.</p> + +<p>"Say what, I entreat you. You seem to be very unhappy—such a +change—from yesterday!"</p> + +<p>"Yes! From yesterday; all then was a joyous calm, and now all is—but +then I knew not my infamy, my guilt——"</p> + +<p>"What words are these, and from you, Arthur? Guilt is to you impossible. +If purity is to be found on earth, it is lodged in your heart. What have +you done?"</p> + +<p>"I have dared—how little you expect the extent of my daring! That such +as I should look upwards with this ambition."</p> + +<p>I stood up, and taking her hands in mine, as she sat, looked earnestly +in her face:—"I come only to beseech your pardon. To tell you my crime, +and then disappear forever; but first let me see if there be any omen of +forgiveness. Your looks—they are kind; heavenly; compassionate still. I +will trust them, I believe; and yet" (letting go her hands, and turning +away) "this offence is beyond the reach even of <i>your</i> mercy."</p> + +<p>"How beyond measure these words and this deportment distress me! Let me +know the worst; I cannot bear to be thus perplexed."</p> + +<p>"Why," said I, turning quickly round and again taking her hands, "that +Mervyn, whom you have honoured and confided in, and blessed with your +sweet regards, has been——"</p> + +<p>"What has he been? Divinely amiable, heroic in his virtue, I am sure. +What else has he been?"</p> + +<p>"This Mervyn has imagined, has dared—will you forgive him?"</p> + +<p>"Forgive you what? Why don't you speak? Keep not my soul in this +suspense."</p> + +<p>"He has dared—But do not think that I am he. Continue to look as now, +and reserve your killing glances, the vengeance of those eyes, as for +one that is absent.——Why, what—you weep, then, at last. That is a +propitious sign. When pity drops from the eyes of our judge, then should +the suppliant approach. Now, in confidence of pardon, I will tell you; +this Mervyn, not content with all you have hitherto granted him, has +dared—to <i>love</i> you; nay, to think of you as of <i>his wife</i>!"</p> + +<p>Her eye sunk beneath mine, and, disengaging her hands, she covered her +face with them.</p> + +<p>"I see my fate," said I, in a tone of despair. "Too well did I predict +the effect of this confession; but I will go—<i>and unforgiven</i>."</p> + +<p>She now partly uncovered her face. The hand was withdrawn from her +cheek, and stretched towards me. She looked at me.</p> + +<p>"Arthur! I <i>do</i> forgive thee."—With what accents was this uttered! With +what looks! The cheek that was before pale with terror was now crimsoned +over by a different emotion, and delight swam in her eye.</p> + +<p>Could I mistake? My doubts, my new-born fears, made me tremble while I +took the offered hand.</p> + +<p>"Surely," faltered I, "I am not—I cannot be—so blessed."</p> + +<p>There was no need of words. The hand that I held was sufficiently +eloquent. She was still silent.</p> + +<p>"Surely," said I, "my senses deceive me. A bliss like this cannot be +reserved for me. Tell me once more—set my doubting heart at rest."</p> + +<p>She now gave herself to my arms:—"I have not words—Let your own heart +tell you, you have made your Achsa——"</p> + +<p>At this moment, a voice from without (it was Miss Stedman's) called, +"Mrs. Fielding! where are you?"</p> + +<p>My friend started up, and, in a hasty voice, bade me begone. "You must +not be seen by this giddy girl. Come hither this evening, as if by my +appointment, and I will return with you."—She left me in a kind of +trance. I was immovable. My reverie was too delicious;—but let me not +attempt the picture. If I can convey no image of my state previous to +this interview, my subsequent feelings are still more beyond the reach +of my powers to describe.</p> + +<p>Agreeably to the commands of my mistress, I hastened away, evading paths +which might expose me to observation. I speedily made my friends partake +of my joy, and passed the day in a state of solemn but confused rapture. +I did not accurately portray the various parts of my felicity. The whole +rushed upon my soul at once. My conceptions were too rapid and too +comprehensive to be distinct.</p> + +<p>I went to Stedman's in the evening. I found in the accents and looks of +my Achsa new assurances that all which had lately passed was more than a +dream. She made excuses for leaving the Stedmans sooner than ordinary, +and was accompanied to the city by her friend. We dropped Mrs. Fielding +at her own house, and thither, after accompanying Miss Stedman to her +own home, I returned upon the wings of tremulous impatience.</p> + +<p>Now could I repeat every word of every conversation that has since taken +place between us; but why should I do that on paper? Indeed, it could +not be done. All is of equal value, and all could not be comprised but +in many volumes. There needs nothing more deeply to imprint it on my +memory; and, while thus reviewing the past, I should be iniquitously +neglecting the present. What is given to the pen would be taken from +her; and that, indeed, would be—but no need of saying what it would be, +since it is impossible.</p> + +<p>I merely write to allay these tumults which our necessary separation +produces; to aid me in calling up a little patience till the time +arrives when our persons, like our minds, shall be united forever. That +time—may nothing happen to prevent—but nothing can happen. But why +this ominous misgiving just now? My love has infected me with these +unworthy terrors, for she has them too.</p> + +<p>This morning I was relating my dream to her. She started, and grew pale. +A sad silence ensued the cheerfulness that had reigned before:—"Why +thus dejected, my friend?"</p> + +<p>"I hate your dream. It is a horrid thought. Would to God it had never +occurred to you!"</p> + +<p>"Why, surely, you place no confidence in dreams?"</p> + +<p>"I know not where to place confidence; not in my present promises of +joy,"—and she wept. I endeavoured to soothe or console her. Why, I +asked, did she weep?</p> + +<p>"My heart is sore. Former disappointments were so heavy; the hopes which +were blasted were so like my present ones, that the dread of a like +result will intrude upon my thoughts. And now your dream! Indeed, I know +not what to do. I believe I ought still to retract—ought, at least, to +postpone an act so irrevocable."</p> + +<p>Now was I obliged again to go over my catalogue of arguments to induce +her to confirm her propitious resolution to be mine within the week. I, +at last, succeeded, even in restoring her serenity, and beguiling her +fears by dwelling on our future happiness.</p> + +<p>Our household, while we stayed in America,—in a year or two we hie to +Europe,—should be <i>thus</i> composed. Fidelity, and skill, and pure +morals, should be sought out, and enticed, by generous recompenses, into +our domestic service. Duties which should be light and regular.—Such +and such should be our amusements and employments abroad and at home: +and would not this be true happiness?</p> + +<p>"Oh yes—if it may be so."</p> + +<p>"It shall be so; but this is but the humble outline of the scene; +something is still to be added to complete our felicity."</p> + +<p>"What more can be added?"</p> + +<p>"What more? Can Achsa ask what more? She who has not been <i>only</i> a +wife——"</p> + +<p>But why am I indulging this pen-prattle? The hour she fixed for my +return to her is come, and now take thyself away, quill. Lie there, snug +in thy leathern case, till I call for thee, and that will not be very +soon. I believe I will abjure thy company till all is settled with my +love. Yes; I <i>will</i> abjure thee; so let <i>this</i> be thy last office, till +Mervyn has been made the happiest of men.</p> + + +<p class="center">THE END.</p> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Arthur Mervyn, by Charles Brockden Brown + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ARTHUR MERVYN *** + +***** This file should be named 18508-h.htm or 18508-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/8/5/0/18508/ + +Produced by Graeme Mackreth and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Arthur Mervyn + Or, Memoirs of the Year 1793 + +Author: Charles Brockden Brown + +Release Date: June 5, 2006 [EBook #18508] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ARTHUR MERVYN *** + + + + +Produced by Graeme Mackreth and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +ARTHUR MERVYN; + +OR, + +MEMOIRS OF THE YEAR 1793. + +BY + +CHARLES BROCKDEN BROWN. + +"Fielding, Richardson, and Scott occupied pedestals. In a niche was +deposited the bust of our countryman, the author of 'Arthur Mervyn.'" + +NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE. + +PHILADELPHIA: DAVID McKAY, PUBLISHER, + +23 SOUTH NINTH STREET. 1889. + + + + +PREFACE. + + +The evils of pestilence by which this city has lately been afflicted +will probably form an era in its history. The schemes of reformation and +improvement to which they will give birth, or, if no efforts of human +wisdom can avail to avert the periodical visitations of this calamity, +the change in manners and population which they will produce, will be, +in the highest degree, memorable. They have already supplied new and +copious materials for reflection to the physician and the political +economist. They have not been less fertile of instruction to the moral +observer, to whom they have furnished new displays of the influence of +human passions and motives. + +Amidst the medical and political discussions which are now afloat in the +community relative to this topic, the author of these remarks has +ventured to methodize his own reflections, and to weave into an humble +narrative such incidents as appeared to him most instructive and +remarkable among those which came within the sphere of his own +observation. It is every one's duty to profit by all opportunities of +inculcating on mankind the lessons of justice and humanity. The +influences of hope and fear, the trials of fortitude and constancy, +which took place in this city in the autumn of 1793, have, perhaps, +never been exceeded in any age. It is but just to snatch some of these +from oblivion, and to deliver to posterity a brief but faithful sketch +of the condition of this metropolis during that calamitous period. Men +only require to be made acquainted with distress for their compassion +and their charity to be awakened. He that depicts, in lively colours, +the evils of disease and poverty, performs an eminent service to the +sufferers, by calling forth benevolence in those who are able to afford +relief; and he who portrays examples of disinterestedness and +intrepidity confers on virtue the notoriety and homage that are due to +it, and rouses in the spectators the spirit of salutary emulation. + +In the following tale a particular series of adventures is brought to a +close; but these are necessarily connected with the events which +happened subsequent to the period here described. These events are not +less memorable than those which form the subject of the present volume, +and may hereafter be published, either separately or in addition to +this. + +C.B.B. + + + + +ARTHUR MERVYN. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + + +I was resident in this city during the year 1793. Many motives +contributed to detain me, though departure was easy and commodious, and +my friends were generally solicitous for me to go. It is not my purpose +to enumerate these motives, or to dwell on my present concerns and +transactions, but merely to compose a narrative of some incidents with +which my situation made me acquainted. + +Returning one evening, somewhat later than usual, to my own house, my +attention was attracted, just as I entered the porch, by the figure of a +man reclining against the wall at a few paces distant. My sight was +imperfectly assisted by a far-off lamp; but the posture in which he sat, +the hour, and the place, immediately suggested the idea of one disabled +by sickness. It was obvious to conclude that his disease was +pestilential. This did not deter me from approaching and examining him +more closely. + +He leaned his head against the wall; his eyes were shut, his hands +clasped in each other, and his body seemed to be sustained in an upright +position merely by the cellar-door against which he rested his left +shoulder. The lethargy into which he was sunk seemed scarcely +interrupted by my feeling his hand and his forehead. His throbbing +temples and burning skin indicated a fever, and his form, already +emaciated, seemed to prove that it had not been of short duration. + +There was only one circumstance that hindered me from forming an +immediate determination in what manner this person should be treated. +My family consisted of my wife and a young child. Our servant-maid had +been seized, three days before, by the reigning malady, and, at her own +request, had been conveyed to the hospital. We ourselves enjoyed good +health, and were hopeful of escaping with our lives. Our measures for +this end had been cautiously taken and carefully adhered to. They did +not consist in avoiding the receptacles of infection, for my office +required me to go daily into the midst of them; nor in filling the house +with the exhalations of gunpowder, vinegar, or tar. They consisted in +cleanliness, reasonable exercise, and wholesome diet. Custom had +likewise blunted the edge of our apprehensions. To take this person into +my house, and bestow upon him the requisite attendance, was the scheme +that first occurred to me. In this, however, the advice of my wife was +to govern me. + +I mentioned the incident to her. I pointed out the danger which was to +be dreaded from such an inmate. I desired her to decide with caution, +and mentioned my resolution to conform myself implicitly to her +decision. Should we refuse to harbour him, we must not forget that there +was a hospital to which he would, perhaps, consent to be carried, and +where he would be accommodated in the best manner the times would admit. + +"Nay," said she, "talk not of hospitals. At least, let him have his +choice. I have no fear about me, for my part, in a case where the +injunctions of duty are so obvious. Let us take the poor, unfortunate +wretch into our protection and care, and leave the consequences to +Heaven." + +I expected and was pleased with this proposal. I returned to the sick +man, and, on rousing him from his stupor, found him still in possession +of his reason. With a candle near, I had an opportunity of viewing him +more accurately. + +His garb was plain, careless, and denoted rusticity. His aspect was +simple and ingenuous, and his decayed visage still retained traces of +uncommon but manlike beauty. He had all the appearances of mere youth, +unspoiled by luxury and uninured to misfortune. I scarcely ever beheld +an object which laid so powerful and sudden a claim to my affection and +succour. + +"You are sick," said I, in as cheerful a tone as I could assume. "Cold +bricks and night-airs are comfortless attendants for one in your +condition. Rise, I pray you, and come into the house. We will try to +supply you with accommodations a little more suitable." + +At this address he fixed his languid eyes upon me. "What would you +have?" said he. "I am very well as I am. While I breathe, which will not +be long, I shall breathe with more freedom here than elsewhere. Let me +alone--I am very well as I am." + +"Nay," said I, "this situation is unsuitable to a sick man. I only ask +you to come into my house, and receive all the kindness that it is in +our power to bestow. Pluck up courage, and I will answer for your +recovery, provided you submit to directions, and do as we would have +you. Rise, and come along with me. We will find you a physician and a +nurse, and all we ask in return is good spirits and compliance." + +"Do you not know," he replied, "what my disease is? Why should you risk +your safety for the sake of one whom your kindness cannot benefit, and +who has nothing to give in return?" + +There was something in the style of this remark, that heightened my +prepossession in his favour, and made me pursue my purpose with more +zeal. "Let us try what we can do for you," I answered. "If we save your +life, we shall have done you some service, and, as for recompense, we +will look to that." + +It was with considerable difficulty that he was persuaded to accept our +invitation. He was conducted to a chamber, and, the criticalness of his +case requiring unusual attention, I spent the night at his bedside. + +My wife was encumbered with the care both of her infant and her family. +The charming babe was in perfect health, but her mother's constitution +was frail and delicate. We simplified the household duties as much as +possible, but still these duties were considerably burdensome to one not +used to the performance, and luxuriously educated. The addition of a +sick man was likely to be productive of much fatigue. My engagements +would not allow me to be always at home, and the state of my patient, +and the remedies necessary to be prescribed, were attended with many +noxious and disgustful circumstances. My fortune would not allow me to +hire assistance. My wife, with a feeble frame and a mind shrinking, on +ordinary occasions, from such offices, with fastidious scrupulousness, +was to be his only or principal nurse. + +My neighbours were fervent in their well-meant zeal, and loud in their +remonstrances on the imprudence and rashness of my conduct. They called +me presumptuous and cruel in exposing my wife and child, as well as +myself, to such imminent hazard, for the sake of one, too, who most +probably was worthless, and whose disease had doubtless been, by +negligence or mistreatment, rendered incurable. + +I did not turn a deaf ear to these censurers. I was aware of all the +inconveniences and perils to which I thus spontaneously exposed myself. +No one knew better the value of that woman whom I called mine, or set a +higher price upon her life, her health, and her ease. The virulence and +activity of this contagion, the dangerous condition of my patient, and +the dubiousness of his character, were not forgotten by me; but still my +conduct in this affair received my own entire approbation. All +objections on the score of my friends were removed by her own +willingness and even solicitude to undertake the province. I had more +confidence than others in the vincibility of this disease, and in the +success of those measures which we had used for our defence against it. +But, whatever were the evils to accrue to us, we were sure of one thing: +namely, that the consciousness of having neglected this unfortunate +person would be a source of more unhappiness than could possibly redound +from the attendance and care that he would claim. + +The more we saw of him, indeed, the more did we congratulate ourselves +on our proceeding. His torments were acute and tedious; but, in the +midst even of delirium, his heart seemed to overflow with gratitude, and +to be actuated by no wish but to alleviate our toil and our danger. He +made prodigious exertions to perform necessary offices for himself. He +suppressed his feelings and struggled to maintain a cheerful tone and +countenance, that he might prevent that anxiety which the sight of his +sufferings produced in us. He was perpetually furnishing reasons why his +nurse should leave him alone, and betrayed dissatisfaction whenever she +entered his apartment. + +In a few days, there were reasons to conclude him out of danger; and, in +a fortnight, nothing but exercise and nourishment were wanting to +complete his restoration. Meanwhile nothing was obtained from him but +general information, that his place of abode was Chester county, and +that some momentous engagement induced him to hazard his safety by +coming to the city in the height of the epidemic. + +He was far from being talkative. His silence seemed to be the joint +result of modesty and unpleasing remembrances. His features were +characterized by pathetic seriousness, and his deportment by a gravity +very unusual at his age. According to his own representation, he was no +more than eighteen years old, but the depth of his remarks indicated a +much greater advance. His name was Arthur Mervyn. He described himself +as having passed his life at the plough-tail and the threshing-floor; as +being destitute of all scholastic instruction; and as being long since +bereft of the affectionate regards of parents and kinsmen. + +When questioned as to the course of life which he meant to pursue upon +his recovery, he professed himself without any precise object. He was +willing to be guided by the advice of others, and by the lights which +experience should furnish. The country was open to him, and he supposed +that there was no part of it in which food could not be purchased by his +labour. He was unqualified, by his education, for any liberal +profession. His poverty was likewise an insuperable impediment. He could +afford to spend no time in the acquisition of a trade. He must labour, +not for future emolument, but for immediate subsistence. The only +pursuit which his present circumstances would allow him to adopt was +that which, he was inclined to believe, was likewise the most eligible. +Without doubt his experience was slender, and it seemed absurd to +pronounce concerning that of which he had no direct knowledge; but so it +was, he could not outroot from his mind the persuasion that to plough, +to sow, and to reap, were employments most befitting a reasonable +creature, and from which the truest pleasure and the least pollution +would flow. He contemplated no other scheme than to return, as soon as +his health should permit, into the country, seek employment where it was +to be had, and acquit himself in his engagements with fidelity and +diligence. + +I pointed out to him various ways in which the city might furnish +employment to one with his qualifications. He had said that he was +somewhat accustomed to the pen. There were stations in which the +possession of a legible hand was all that was requisite. He might add to +this a knowledge of accounts, and thereby procure himself a post in some +mercantile or public office. + +To this he objected, that experience had shown him unfit for the life of +a penman. This had been his chief occupation for a little while, and he +found it wholly incompatible with his health. He must not sacrifice the +end for the means. Starving was a disease preferable to consumption. +Besides, he laboured merely for the sake of living, and he lived merely +for the sake of pleasure. If his tasks should enable him to live, but, +at the same time, bereave him of all satisfaction, they inflicted +injury, and were to be shunned as worse evils than death. + +I asked to what species of pleasure he alluded, with which the business +of a clerk was inconsistent. + +He answered that he scarcely knew how to describe it. He read books when +they came in his way. He had lighted upon few, and, perhaps, the +pleasure they afforded him was owing to their fewness; yet he confessed +that a mode of life which entirely forbade him to read was by no means +to his taste. But this was trivial. He knew how to value the thoughts of +other people, but he could not part with the privilege of observing and +thinking for himself. He wanted business which would suffer at least +nine-tenths of his attention to go free. If it afforded agreeable +employment to that part of his attention which it applied to its own +use, so much the better; but, if it did not, he should not repine. He +should be content with a life whose pleasures were to its pains as nine +are to one. He had tried the trade of a copyist, and in circumstances +more favourable than it was likely he should ever again have an +opportunity of trying it, and he had found that it did not fulfil the +requisite conditions. Whereas the trade of ploughman was friendly to +health, liberty, and pleasure. + +The pestilence, if it may so be called, was now declining. The health of +my young friend allowed him to breathe the fresh air and to walk. A +friend of mine, by name Wortley, who had spent two months from the city, +and to whom, in the course of a familiar correspondence, I had mentioned +the foregoing particulars, returned from his rural excursion. He was +posting, on the evening of the day of his arrival, with a friendly +expedition, to my house, when he overtook Mervyn going in the same +direction. He was surprised to find him go before him into my dwelling, +and to discover, which he speedily did, that this was the youth whom I +had so frequently mentioned to him. I was present at their meeting. + +There was a strange mixture in the countenance of Wortley when they were +presented to each other. His satisfaction was mingled with surprise, and +his surprise with anger. Mervyn, in his turn, betrayed considerable +embarrassment. Wortley's thoughts were too earnest on some topic to +allow him to converse. He shortly made some excuse for taking leave, +and, rising, addressed himself to the youth with a request that he would +walk home with him. This invitation, delivered in a tone which left it +doubtful whether a compliment or menace were meant, augmented Mervyn's +confusion. He complied without speaking, and they went out together;--my +wife and I were left to comment upon the scene. + +It could not fail to excite uneasiness. They were evidently no strangers +to each other. The indignation that flashed from the eyes of Wortley, +and the trembling consciousness of Mervyn, were unwelcome tokens. The +former was my dearest friend, and venerable for his discernment and +integrity. The latter appeared to have drawn upon himself the anger and +disdain of this man. We already anticipated the shock which the +discovery of his unworthiness would produce. + +In a half-hour Mervyn returned. His embarrassment had given place to +dejection. He was always serious, but his features were now overcast by +the deepest gloom. The anxiety which I felt would not allow me to +hesitate long. + +"Arthur," said I, "something is the matter with you. Will you not +disclose it to us? Perhaps you have brought yourself into some dilemma +out of which we may help you to escape. Has any thing of an unpleasant +nature passed between you and Wortley?" + +The youth did not readily answer. He seemed at a loss for a suitable +reply. At length he said that something disagreeable had indeed passed +between him and Wortley. He had had the misfortune to be connected with +a man by whom Wortley conceived himself to be injured. He had borne no +part in inflicting this injury, but had nevertheless been threatened +with ill treatment if he did not make disclosures which, indeed, it was +in his power to make, but which he was bound, by every sanction, to +withhold. This disclosure would be of no benefit to Wortley. It would +rather operate injuriously than otherwise; yet it was endeavoured to be +wrested from him by the heaviest menaces. There he paused. + +We were naturally inquisitive as to the scope of these menaces; but +Mervyn entreated us to forbear any further discussion of this topic. He +foresaw the difficulties to which his silence would subject him. One of +its most fearful consequences would be the loss of our good opinion. He +knew not what he had to dread from the enmity of Wortley. Mr. Wortley's +violence was not without excuse. It was his mishap to be exposed to +suspicions which could only be obviated by breaking his faith. But, +indeed, he knew not whether any degree of explicitness would confute the +charges that were made against him; whether, by trampling on his sacred +promise, he should not multiply his perils instead of lessening their +number. A difficult part had been assigned to him; by much too +difficult for one young, improvident, and inexperienced as he was. + +Sincerity, perhaps, was the best course. Perhaps, after having had an +opportunity for deliberation, he should conclude to adopt it; meanwhile +he entreated permission to retire to his chamber. He was unable to +exclude from his mind ideas which yet could, with no propriety, at least +at present, be made the theme of conversation. + +These words were accompanied with simplicity and pathos, and with tokens +of unaffected distress. + +"Arthur," said I, "you are master of your actions and time in this +house. Retire when you please; but you will naturally suppose us anxious +to dispel this mystery. Whatever shall tend to obscure or malign your +character will of course excite our solicitude. Wortley is not +short-sighted or hasty to condemn. So great is my confidence in his +integrity that I will not promise my esteem to one who has irrecoverably +lost that of Wortley. I am not acquainted with your motives to +concealment, or what it is you conceal; but take the word of one who +possesses that experience which you complain of wanting, that sincerity +is always safest." + +As soon as he had retired, my curiosity prompted me to pay an immediate +visit to Wortley. I found him at home. He was no less desirous of an +interview, and answered my inquiries with as much eagerness as they were +made. + +"You know," said he, "my disastrous connection with Thomas Welbeck. You +recollect his sudden disappearance last July, by which I was reduced to +the brink of ruin. Nay, I am, even now, far from certain that I shall +survive that event. I spoke to you about the youth who lived with him, +and by what means that youth was discovered to have crossed the river in +his company on the night of his departure. This is that very youth. + +"This will account for my emotion at meeting him at your house; I +brought him out with me. His confusion sufficiently indicated his +knowledge of transactions between Welbeck and me. I questioned him as to +the fate of that man. To own the truth, I expected some well-digested +lie; but he merely said that he had promised secrecy on that subject, +and must therefore be excused from giving me any information. I asked +him if he knew that his master, or accomplice, or whatever was his +relation to him, absconded in my debt? He answered that he knew it well; +but still pleaded a promise of inviolable secrecy as to his +hiding-place. This conduct justly exasperated me, and I treated him with +the severity which he deserved. I am half ashamed to confess the +excesses of my passion; I even went so far as to strike him. He bore my +insults with the utmost patience. No doubt the young villain is well +instructed in his lesson. He knows that he may safely defy my power. +From threats I descended to entreaties. I even endeavoured to wind the +truth from him by artifice. I promised him a part of the debt if he +would enable me to recover the whole. I offered him a considerable +reward if he would merely afford me a clue by which I might trace him to +his retreat; but all was insufficient. He merely put on an air of +perplexity and shook his head in token of non-compliance." + +Such was my friend's account of this interview. His suspicions were +unquestionably plausible; but I was disposed to put a more favourable +construction on Mervyn's behaviour. I recollected the desolate and +penniless condition in which I found him, and the uniform complacency +and rectitude of his deportment for the period during which we had +witnessed it. These ideas had considerable influence on my judgment, and +indisposed me to follow the advice of my friend, which was to turn him +forth from my doors that very night. + +My wife's prepossessions were still more powerful advocates of this +youth. She would vouch, she said, before any tribunal, for his +innocence; but she willingly concurred with me in allowing him the +continuance of our friendship on no other condition than that of a +disclosure of the truth. To entitle ourselves to this confidence we were +willing to engage, in our turn, for the observance of secrecy, so far +that no detriment should accrue from this disclosure to himself or his +friend. + +Next morning, at breakfast, our guest appeared with a countenance less +expressive of embarrassment than on the last evening. His attention was +chiefly engaged by his own thoughts, and little was said till the +breakfast was removed. I then reminded him of the incidents of the +former day, and mentioned that the uneasiness which thence arose to us +had rather been increased than diminished by time. + +"It is in your power, my young friend," continued I, "to add still more +to this uneasiness, or to take it entirely away. I had no personal +acquaintance with Thomas Welbeck. I have been informed by others that +his character, for a certain period, was respectable, but that, at +length, he contracted large debts, and, instead of paying them, +absconded. You, it seems, lived with him. On the night of his departure +you are known to have accompanied him across the river, and this, it +seems, is the first of your reappearance on the stage. Welbeck's conduct +was dishonest. He ought doubtless to be pursued to his asylum and be +compelled to refund his winnings. You confess yourself to know his place +of refuge, but urge a promise of secrecy. Know you not that to assist or +connive at the escape of this man was wrong? To have promised to favour +his concealment and impunity by silence was only an aggravation of this +wrong. That, however, is past. Your youth, and circumstances, hitherto +unexplained, may apologize for that misconduct; but it is certainly your +duty to repair it to the utmost of your power. Think whether, by +disclosing what you know, you will not repair it." + +"I have spent most of last night," said the youth, "in reflecting on +this subject. I had come to a resolution, before you spoke, of confiding +to you my simple tale. I perceive in what circumstances I am placed, and +that I can keep my hold of your good opinion only by a candid +deportment. I have indeed given a promise which it was wrong, or rather +absurd, in another to exact, and in me to give; yet none but +considerations of the highest importance would persuade me to break my +promise. No injury will accrue from my disclosure to Welbeck. If there +should, dishonest as he was, that would be a sufficient reason for my +silence. Wortley will not, in any degree, be benefited by any +communication that I can make. Whether I grant or withhold information, +my conduct will have influence only on my own happiness, and that +influence will justify me in granting it. + +"I received your protection when I was friendless and forlorn. You have +a right to know whom it is that you protected. My own fate is connected +with the fate of Welbeck, and that connection, together with the +interest you are pleased to take in my concerns, because they are mine, +will render a tale worthy of attention which will not be recommended by +variety of facts or skill in the display of them. + +"Wortley, though passionate, and, with regard to me, unjust, may yet be +a good man; but I have no desire to make him one of my auditors. You, +sir, may, if you think proper, relate to him afterwards what particulars +concerning Welbeck it may be of importance for him to know; but at +present it will be well if your indulgence shall support me to the end +of a tedious but humble tale." + +The eyes of my Eliza sparkled with delight at this proposal. She +regarded this youth with a sisterly affection, and considered his +candour, in this respect, as an unerring test of his rectitude. She was +prepared to hear and to forgive the errors of inexperience and +precipitation. I did not fully participate in her satisfaction, but was +nevertheless most zealously disposed to listen to his narrative. + +My engagements obliged me to postpone this rehearsal till late in the +evening. Collected then round a cheerful hearth, exempt from all +likelihood of interruption from without, and our babe's unpractised +senses shut up in the sweetest and profoundest sleep, Mervyn, after a +pause of recollection, began. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +My natal soil is Chester county. My father had a small farm, on which he +has been able, by industry, to maintain himself and a numerous family. +He has had many children, but some defect in the constitution of our +mother has been fatal to all of them but me. They died successively as +they attained the age of nineteen or twenty, and, since I have not yet +reached that age, I may reasonably look for the same premature fate. In +the spring of last year my mother followed her fifth child to the grave, +and three months afterwards died herself. + +My constitution has always been frail, and, till the death of my mother, +I enjoyed unlimited indulgence. I cheerfully sustained my portion of +labour, for that necessity prescribed; but the intervals were always at +my own disposal, and, in whatever manner I thought proper to employ +them, my plans were encouraged and assisted. Fond appellations, tones of +mildness, solicitous attendance when I was sick, deference to my +opinions, and veneration for my talents, compose the image which I still +retain of my mother. I had the thoughtlessness and presumption of youth, +and, now that she is gone, my compunction is awakened by a thousand +recollections of my treatment of her. I was indeed guilty of no flagrant +acts of contempt or rebellion. Perhaps her deportment was inevitably +calculated to instil into me a froward and refractory spirit. My faults, +however, were speedily followed by repentance, and, in the midst of +impatience and passion, a look of tender upbraiding from her was always +sufficient to melt me into tears and make me ductile to her will. If +sorrow for her loss be an atonement for the offences which I committed +during her life, ample atonement has been made. + +My father is a man of slender capacity, but of a temper easy and +flexible. He was sober and industrious by habit. He was content to be +guided by the superior intelligence of his wife. Under this guidance he +prospered; but, when that was withdrawn, his affairs soon began to +betray marks of unskilfulness and negligence. My understanding, perhaps, +qualified me to counsel and assist my father, but I was wholly +unaccustomed to the task of superintendence. Besides, gentleness and +fortitude did not descend to me from my mother, and these were +indispensable attributes in a boy who desires to dictate to his +gray-headed parent. Time, perhaps, might have conferred dexterity on me, +or prudence on him, had not a most unexpected event given a different +direction to my views. + +Betty Lawrence was a wild girl from the pine-forests of New Jersey. At +the age of ten years she became a bound servant in this city, and, after +the expiration of her time, came into my father's neighbourhood in +search of employment. She was hired in our family as milkmaid and +market-woman. Her features were coarse, her frame robust, her mind +totally unlettered, and her morals defective in that point in which +female excellence is supposed chiefly to consist. She possessed +super-abundant health and good-humour, and was quite a supportable +companion in the hay-field or the barnyard. + +On the death of my mother, she was exalted to a somewhat higher station. +The same tasks fell to her lot; but the time and manner of performing +them were, in some degree, submitted to her own choice. The cows and the +dairy were still her province; but in this no one interfered with her or +pretended to prescribe her measures. For this province she seemed not +unqualified, and, as long as my father was pleased with her management, +I had nothing to object. + +This state of things continued, without material variation, for several +months. There were appearances in my father's deportment to Betty, which +excited my reflections, but not my fears. The deference which was +occasionally paid to the advice or the claims of this girl was accounted +for by that feebleness of mind which degraded my father, in whatever +scene he should be placed, to be the tool of others. I had no conception +that her claims extended beyond a temporary or superficial +gratification. + +At length, however, a visible change took place in her manners. A +scornful affectation and awkward dignity began to be assumed. A greater +attention was paid to dress, which was of gayer hues and more +fashionable texture. I rallied her on these tokens of a sweetheart, and +amused myself with expatiating to her on the qualifications of her +lover. A clownish fellow was frequently her visitant. His attentions did +not appear to be discouraged. He therefore was readily supposed to be +the man. When pointed out as the favourite, great resentment was +expressed, and obscure insinuations were made that her aim was not quite +so low as that. These denials I supposed to be customary on such +occasions, and considered the continuance of his visits as a sufficient +confutation of them. + +I frequently spoke of Betty, her newly-acquired dignity, and of the +probable cause of her change of manners, to my father. When this theme +was started, a certain coldness and reserve overspread his features. He +dealt in monosyllables, and either laboured to change the subject or +made some excuse for leaving me. This behaviour, though it occasioned +surprise, was never very deeply reflected on. My father was old, and the +mournful impressions which were made upon him by the death of his wife, +the lapse of almost half a year seemed scarcely to have weakened. Betty +had chosen her partner, and I was in daily expectation of receiving a +summons to the wedding. + +One afternoon this girl dressed herself in the gayest manner and seemed +making preparations for some momentous ceremony. My father had directed +me to put the horse to the chaise. On my inquiring whither he was going, +he answered me, in general terms, that he had some business at a few +miles' distance. I offered to go in his stead, but he said that was +impossible. I was proceeding to ascertain the possibility of this when +he left me to go to a field where his workmen were busy, directing me to +inform him when the chaise was ready, to supply his place, while +absent, in overlooking the workmen. + +This office was performed; but before I called him from the field I +exchanged a few words with the milkmaid, who sat on a bench, in all the +primness of expectation, and decked with the most gaudy plumage. I rated +her imaginary lover for his tardiness, and vowed eternal hatred to them +both for not making me a bride's attendant. She listened to me with an +air in which embarrassment was mingled sometimes with exultation and +sometimes with malice. I left her at length, and returned to the house +not till a late hour. As soon as I entered, my father presented Betty to +me as his wife, and desired she might receive that treatment from me +which was due to a mother. + +It was not till after repeated and solemn declarations from both of them +that I was prevailed upon to credit this event. Its effect upon my +feelings may be easily conceived. I knew the woman to be rude, ignorant, +and licentious. Had I suspected this event, I might have fortified my +father's weakness and enabled him to shun the gulf to which he was +tending; but my presumption had been careless of the danger. To think +that such a one should take the place of my revered mother was +intolerable. + +To treat her in any way not squaring with her real merits; to hinder +anger and scorn from rising at the sight of her in her new condition, +was not in my power. To be degraded to the rank of her servant, to +become the sport of her malice and her artifices, was not to be endured. +I had no independent provision; but I was the only child of my father, +and had reasonably hoped to succeed to his patrimony. On this hope I had +built a thousand agreeable visions. I had meditated innumerable projects +which the possession of this estate would enable me to execute. I had no +wish beyond the trade of agriculture, and beyond the opulence which a +hundred acres would give. + +These visions were now at an end. No doubt her own interest would be, to +this woman, the supreme law, and this would be considered as +irreconcilably hostile to mine. My father would easily be moulded to +her purpose, and that act easily extorted from him which should reduce +me to beggary. She had a gross and perverse taste. She had a numerous +kindred, indigent and hungry. On these his substance would speedily be +lavished. Me she hated, because she was conscious of having injured me, +because she knew that I held her in contempt, and because I had detected +her in an illicit intercourse with the son of a neighbour. + +The house in which I lived was no longer my own, nor even my father's. +Hitherto I had thought and acted in it with the freedom of a master; but +now I was become, in my own conceptions, an alien and an enemy to the +roof under which I was born. Every tie which had bound me to it was +dissolved or converted into something which repelled me to a distance +from it. I was a guest whose presence was borne with anger and +impatience. + +I was fully impressed with the necessity of removal, but I knew not +whither to go, or what kind of subsistence to seek. My father had been a +Scottish emigrant, and had no kindred on this side of the ocean. My +mother's family lived in New Hampshire, and long separation had +extinguished all the rights of relationship in her offspring. Tilling +the earth was my only profession, and, to profit by my skill in it, it +would be necessary to become a day-labourer in the service of strangers; +but this was a destiny to which I, who had so long enjoyed the pleasures +of independence and command, could not suddenly reconcile myself. It +occurred to me that the city might afford me an asylum. A short day's +journey would transport me into it. I had been there twice or thrice in +my life, but only for a few hours each time. I knew not a human face, +and was a stranger to its modes and dangers. I was qualified for no +employment, compatible with a town life, but that of the pen. This, +indeed, had ever been a favourite tool with me; and, though it may +appear somewhat strange, it is no less true that I had had nearly as +much practice at the quill as at the mattock. But the sum of my skill +lay in tracing distinct characters. I had used it merely to transcribe +what others had written, or to give form to my own conceptions. Whether +the city would afford me employment, as a mere copyist, sufficiently +lucrative, was a point on which I possessed no means of information. + +My determination was hastened by the conduct of my new mother. My +conjectures as to the course she would pursue with regard to me had not +been erroneous. My father's deportment, in a short time, grew sullen and +austere. Directions were given in a magisterial tone, and any remissness +in the execution of his orders was rebuked with an air of authority. At +length these rebukes were followed by certain intimations that I was now +old enough to provide for myself; that it was time to think of some +employment by which I might secure a livelihood; that it was a shame for +me to spend my youth in idleness; that what he had gained was by his own +labour; and I must be indebted for my living to the same source. + +These hints were easily understood. At first, they excited indignation +and grief. I knew the source whence they sprung, and was merely able to +suppress the utterance of my feelings in her presence. My looks, +however, were abundantly significant, and my company became hourly more +insupportable. Abstracted from these considerations, my father's +remonstrances were not destitute of weight. He gave me being, but +sustenance ought surely to be my own gift. In the use of that for which +he had been indebted to his own exertions, he might reasonably consult +his own choice. He assumed no control over me; he merely did what he +would with his own, and, so far from fettering my liberty, he exhorted +me to use it for my own benefit, and to make provision for myself. + +I now reflected that there were other manual occupations besides that of +the plough. Among these none had fewer disadvantages than that of +carpenter or cabinet-maker. I had no knowledge of this art; but neither +custom, nor law, nor the impenetrableness of the mystery, required me to +serve a seven years' apprenticeship to it. A master in this trade might +possibly be persuaded to take me under his tuition; two or three years +would suffice to give me the requisite skill. Meanwhile my father would, +perhaps, consent to bear the cost of my maintenance. Nobody could live +upon less than I was willing to do. + +I mentioned these ideas to my father; but he merely commended my +intentions without offering to assist me in the execution of them. He +had full employment, he said, for all the profits of his ground. No +doubt, if I would bind myself to serve four or five years, my master +would be at the expense of my subsistence. Be that as it would, I must +look for nothing from him. I had shown very little regard for his +happiness; I had refused all marks of respect to a woman who was +entitled to it from her relation to him. He did not see why he should +treat as a son one who refused what was due to him as a father. He +thought it right that I should henceforth maintain myself. He did not +want my services on the farm, and the sooner I quitted his house the +better. + +I retired from this conference with a resolution to follow the advice +that was given. I saw that henceforth I must be my own protector, and +wondered at the folly that detained me so long under his roof. To leave +it was now become indispensable, and there could be no reason for +delaying my departure for a single hour. I determined to bend my course +to the city. The scheme foremost in my mind was to apprentice myself to +some mechanical trade. I did not overlook the evils of constraint and +the dubiousness as to the character of the master I should choose. I was +not without hopes that accident would suggest a different expedient, and +enable me to procure an immediate subsistence without forfeiting my +liberty. + +I determined to commence my journey the next morning. No wonder the +prospect of so considerable a change in my condition should deprive me +of sleep. I spent the night ruminating on the future, and in painting to +my fancy the adventures which I should be likely to meet. The foresight +of man is in proportion to his knowledge. No wonder that, in my state of +profound ignorance, not the faintest preconception should be formed of +the events that really befell me. My temper was inquisitive, but there +was nothing in the scene to which I was going from which my curiosity +expected to derive gratification. Discords and evil smells, unsavoury +food, unwholesome labour, and irksome companions, were, in my opinion, +the unavoidable attendants of a city. + +My best clothes were of the homeliest texture and shape. My whole stock +of linen consisted of three check shirts. Part of my winter evenings' +employment, since the death of my mother, consisted in knitting my own +stockings. Of these I had three pair, one of which I put on, and the +rest I formed, together with two shirts, into a bundle. Three +quarter-dollar pieces composed my whole fortune in money. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + +I rose at the dawn, and, without asking or bestowing a blessing, sallied +forth into the highroad to the city, which passed near the house. I left +nothing behind, the loss of which I regretted. I had purchased most of +my own books with the product of my own separate industry, and, their +number being, of course, small, I had, by incessant application, gotten +the whole of them by rote. They had ceased, therefore, to be of any +further use. I left them, without reluctance, to the fate for which I +knew them to be reserved, that of affording food and habitation to mice. + +I trod this unwonted path with all the fearlessness of youth. In spite +of the motives to despondency and apprehension incident to my state, my +heels were light and my heart joyous. "Now," said I, "I am mounted into +man. I must build a name and a fortune for myself. Strange if this +intellect and these hands will not supply me with an honest livelihood. +I will try the city in the first place; but, if that should fail, +resources are still left to me. I will resume my post in the cornfield +and threshing-floor, to which I shall always have access, and where I +shall always be happy." + +I had proceeded some miles on my journey, when I began to feel the +inroads of hunger. I might have stopped at any farm-house, and have +breakfasted for nothing. It was prudent to husband, with the utmost +care, my slender stock; but I felt reluctance to beg as long as I had +the means of buying, and I imagined that coarse bread and a little milk +would cost little even at a tavern, when any farmer was willing to +bestow them for nothing. My resolution was further influenced by the +appearance of a signpost. What excuse could I make for begging a +breakfast with an inn at hand and silver in my pocket? + +I stopped, accordingly, and breakfasted. The landlord was remarkably +attentive and obliging, but his bread was stale, his milk sour, and his +cheese the greenest imaginable. I disdained to animadvert on these +defects, naturally supposing that his house could furnish no better. + +Having finished my meal, I put, without speaking, one of my pieces into +his hand. This deportment I conceived to be highly becoming, and to +indicate a liberal and manly spirit. I always regarded with contempt a +scrupulous maker of bargains. He received the money with a complaisant +obeisance. "Right," said he. "_Just_ the money, sir. You are on foot, +sir. A pleasant way of travelling, sir. I wish you a good day, sir." So +saying, he walked away. + +This proceeding was wholly unexpected. I conceived myself entitled to at +least three-fourths of it in change. The first impulse was to call him +back, and contest the equity of his demand; but a moment's reflection +showed me the absurdity of such conduct. I resumed my journey with +spirits somewhat depressed. I have heard of voyagers and wanderers in +deserts, who were willing to give a casket of gems for a cup of cold +water. I had not supposed my own condition to be, in any respect, +similar; yet I had just given one-third of my estate for a breakfast. + +I stopped at noon at another inn. I counted on purchasing a dinner for +the same price, since I meant to content myself with the same fare. A +large company was just sitting down to a smoking banquet. The landlord +invited me to join them. I took my place at the table, but was furnished +with bread and milk. Being prepared to depart, I took him aside. "What +is to pay?" said I.--"Did you drink any thing, sir?"--"Certainly. I +drank the milk which was furnished."--"But any liquors, sir?"---"No." + +He deliberated a moment, and then, assuming an air of disinterestedness, +"'Tis our custom to charge dinner and club; but, as you drank nothing, +we'll let the club go. A mere dinner is half a dollar, sir." + +He had no leisure to attend to my fluctuations. After debating with +myself on what was to be done, I concluded that compliance was best, +and, leaving the money at the bar, resumed my way. + +I had not performed more than half my journey, yet my purse was entirely +exhausted. This was a specimen of the cost incurred by living at an inn. +If I entered the city, a tavern must, at least for some time, be my +abode; but I had not a farthing remaining to defray my charges. My +father had formerly entertained a boarder for a dollar per week, and, in +case of need, I was willing to subsist upon coarser fare and lie on a +harder bed than those with which our guest had been supplied. These +facts had been the foundation of my negligence on this occasion. + +What was now to be done? To return to my paternal mansion was +impossible. To relinquish my design of entering the city and to seek a +temporary asylum, if not permanent employment, at some one of the +plantations within view, was the most obvious expedient. These +deliberations did not slacken my pace. I was almost unmindful of my way, +when I found I had passed Schuylkill at the upper bridge. I was now +within the precincts of the city, and night was hastening. It behooved +me to come to a speedy decision. + +Suddenly I recollected that I had not paid the customary toll at the +bridge; neither had I money wherewith to pay it. A demand of payment +would have suddenly arrested my progress; and so slight an incident +would have precluded that wonderful destiny to which I was reserved. The +obstacle that would have hindered my advance now prevented my return. +Scrupulous honesty did not require me to turn back and awaken the +vigilance of the toll-gatherer. I had nothing to pay, and by returning I +should only double my debt. "Let it stand," said I, "where it does. All +that honour enjoins is to pay when I am able." + +I adhered to the crossways, till I reached Market Street. Night had +fallen, and a triple row of lamps presented a spectacle enchanting and +new. My personal cares were, for a time, lost in the tumultuous +sensations with which I was now engrossed. I had never visited the city +at this hour. When my last visit was paid, I was a mere child. The +novelty which environed every object was, therefore, nearly absolute. I +proceeded with more cautious steps, but was still absorbed in attention +to passing objects. I reached the market-house, and, entering it, +indulged myself in new delight and new wonder. + +I need not remark that our ideas of magnificence and splendour are +merely comparative; yet you may be prompted to smile when I tell you +that, in walking through this avenue, I, for a moment, conceived myself +transported to the hall "pendent with many a row of starry lamps and +blazing crescents fed by naphtha and asphaltos." That this transition +from my homely and quiet retreat had been effected in so few hours wore +the aspect of miracle or magic. + +I proceeded from one of these buildings to another, till I reached their +termination in Front Street. Here my progress was checked, and I sought +repose to my weary limbs by seating myself on a stall. No wonder some +fatigue was felt by me, accustomed as I was to strenuous exertions, +since, exclusive of the minutes spent at breakfast and dinner, I had +travelled fifteen hours and forty-five miles. + +I began now to reflect, with some earnestness, on my condition. I was a +stranger, friendless and moneyless. I was unable to purchase food and +shelter, and was wholly unused to the business of begging. Hunger was +the only serious inconvenience to which I was immediately exposed. I had +no objection to spend the night in the spot where I then sat. I had no +fear that my visions would be troubled by the officers of police. It was +no crime to be without a home; but how should I supply my present +cravings and the cravings of to-morrow? + +At length it occurred to me that one of our country neighbours was +probably at this time in the city. He kept a store as well as cultivated +a farm. He was a plain and well-meaning man, and, should I be so +fortunate as to meet him, his superior knowledge of the city might be of +essential benefit to me in my present forlorn circumstances. His +generosity might likewise induce him to lend me so much as would +purchase one meal. I had formed the resolution to leave the city next +day, and was astonished at the folly that had led me into it; but, +meanwhile, my physical wants must be supplied. + +Where should I look for this man? In the course of conversation I +recollected him to have referred to the place of his temporary abode. It +was an inn; but the sign or the name of the keeper for some time +withstood all my efforts to recall them. + +At length I lighted on the last. It was Lesher's tavern. I immediately +set out in search of it. After many inquiries, I at last arrived at the +door. I was preparing to enter the house when I perceived that my bundle +was gone. I had left it on the stall where I had been sitting. People +were perpetually passing to and fro. It was scarcely possible not to +have been noticed. No one that observed it would fail to make it his +prey. Yet it was of too much value to me to allow me to be governed by a +bare probability. I resolved to lose not a moment in returning. + +With some difficulty I retraced my steps, but the bundle had +disappeared. The clothes were, in themselves, of small value, but they +constituted the whole of my wardrobe; and I now reflected that they were +capable of being transmuted, by the pawn or sale of them, into food. +There were other wretches as indigent as I was, and I consoled myself by +thinking that my shirts and stockings might furnish a seasonable +covering to their nakedness; but there was a relic concealed within this +bundle, the loss of which could scarcely be endured by me. It was the +portrait of a young man who died three years ago at my father's house, +drawn by his own hand. + +He was discovered one morning in the orchard with many marks of insanity +upon him. His air and dress bespoke some elevation of rank and fortune. +My mother's compassion was excited, and, as his singularities were +harmless, an asylum was afforded him, though he was unable to pay for +it. He was constantly declaiming, in an incoherent manner, about some +mistress who had proved faithless. His speeches seemed, however, like +the rantings of an actor, to be rehearsed by rote or for the sake of +exercise. He was totally careless of his person and health, and, by +repeated negligences of this kind, at last contracted a fever of which +he speedily died. The name which he assumed was Clavering. + +He gave no distinct account of his family, but stated, in loose terms, +that they were residents in England, high-born and wealthy. That they +had denied him the woman whom he loved and banished him to America, +under penalty of death if he should dare to return, and that they had +refused him all means of subsistence in a foreign land. He predicted, in +his wild and declamatory way, his own death. He was very skilful at the +pencil, and drew this portrait a short time before his dissolution, +presented it to me, and charged me to preserve it in remembrance of him. +My mother loved the youth because he was amiable and unfortunate, and +chiefly because she fancied a very powerful resemblance between his +countenance and mine. I was too young to build affection on any rational +foundation. I loved him, for whatever reason, with an ardour unusual at +my age, and which this portrait had contributed to prolong and to +cherish. + +In thus finally leaving my home, I was careful not to leave this picture +behind. I wrapped it in paper in which a few elegiac stanzas were +inscribed in my own hand, and with my utmost elegance of penmanship. I +then placed it in a leathern case, which, for greater security, was +deposited in the centre of my bundle. It will occur to you, perhaps, +that it would be safer in some fold or pocket of the clothes which I +wore. I was of a different opinion, and was now to endure the penalty of +my error. + +It was in vain to heap execrations on my negligence, or to consume the +little strength left to me in regrets. I returned once more to the +tavern and made inquiries for Mr. Capper, the person whom I have just +mentioned as my father's neighbour. I was informed that Capper was now +in town; that he had lodged, on the last night, at this house; that he +had expected to do the same to-night, but a gentleman had called ten +minutes ago, whose invitation to lodge with him to-night had been +accepted. They had just gone out together. Who, I asked, was the +gentleman? The landlord had no knowledge of him; he knew neither his +place of abode nor his name. Was Mr. Capper expected to return hither in +the morning? No; he had heard the stranger propose to Mr. Capper to go +with him into the country to-morrow, and Mr. Capper, he believed, had +assented. + +This disappointment was peculiarly severe. I had lost, by my own +negligence, the only opportunity that would offer of meeting my friend. +Had even the recollection of my loss been postponed for three minutes, I +should have entered the house, and a meeting would have been secured. I +could discover no other expedient to obviate the present evil. My heart +began now, for the first time, to droop. I looked back, with nameless +emotions, on the days of my infancy. I called up the image of my mother. +I reflected on the infatuation of my surviving parent, and the +usurpation of the detestable Betty, with horror. I viewed myself as the +most calamitous and desolate of human beings. + +At this time I was sitting in the common room. There were others in the +same apartment, lounging, or whistling, or singing. I noticed them not, +but, leaning my head upon my hand, I delivered myself up to painful and +intense meditation. From this I was roused by some one placing himself +on the bench near me and addressing me thus:--"Pray, sir, if you will +excuse me, who was the person whom you were looking for just now? +Perhaps I can give you the information you want. If I can, you will be +very welcome to it." I fixed my eyes with some eagerness on the person +that spoke. He was a young man, expensively and fashionably dressed, +whose mien was considerably prepossessing, and whose countenance bespoke +some portion of discernment. I described to him the man whom I sought. +"I am in search of the same man myself," said he, "but I expect to meet +him here. He may lodge elsewhere, but he promised to meet me here at +half after nine. I have no doubt he will fulfil his promise, so that you +will meet the gentleman." + +I was highly gratified by this information, and thanked my informant +with some degree of warmth. My gratitude he did not notice, but +continued: "In order to beguile expectation, I have ordered supper; +will you do me the favour to partake with me, unless indeed you have +supped already?" I was obliged, somewhat awkwardly, to decline his +invitation, conscious as I was that the means of payment were not in my +power. He continued, however, to urge my compliance till at length it +was, though reluctantly, yielded. My chief motive was the certainty of +seeing Capper. + +My new acquaintance was exceedingly conversible, but his conversation +was chiefly characterized by frankness and good-humour. My reserve +gradually diminished, and I ventured to inform him, in general terms, of +my former condition and present views. He listened to my details with +seeming attention, and commented on them with some judiciousness. His +statements, however, tended to discourage me from remaining in the city. + +Meanwhile the hour passed and Capper did not appear. I noticed this +circumstance to him with no little solicitude. He said that possibly he +might have forgotten or neglected his engagement. His affair was not of +the highest importance, and might be readily postponed to a future +opportunity. He perceived that my vivacity was greatly damped by this +intelligence. He importuned me to disclose the cause. He made himself +very merry with my distress, when it was at length discovered. As to the +expense of supper, I had partaken of it at his invitation; he therefore +should of course be charged with it. As to lodging, he had a chamber and +a bed, which he would insist upon my sharing with him. + +My faculties were thus kept upon the stretch of wonder. Every new act of +kindness in this man surpassed the fondest expectation that I had +formed. I saw no reason why I should be treated with benevolence. I +should have acted in the same manner if placed in the same +circumstances; yet it appeared incongruous and inexplicable. I know +whence my ideas of human nature were derived. They certainly were not +the offspring of my own feelings. These would have taught me that +interest and duty were blended in every act of generosity. + +I did not come into the world without my scruples and suspicions. I was +more apt to impute kindnesses to sinister and hidden than to obvious and +laudable motives. + +I paused to reflect upon the possible designs of this person. What end +could be served by this behaviour? I was no subject of violence or +fraud. I had neither trinket nor coin to stimulate the treachery of +others. What was offered was merely lodging for the night. Was this an +act of such transcendent disinterestedness as to be incredible? My garb +was meaner than that of my companion, but my intellectual +accomplishments were at least upon a level with his. Why should he be +supposed to be insensible to my claims upon his kindness? I was a youth +destitute of experience, money, and friends; but I was not devoid of all +mental and personal endowments. That my merit should be discovered, even +on such slender intercourse, had surely nothing in it that shocked +belief. + +While I was thus deliberating, my new friend was earnest in his +solicitations for my company. He remarked my hesitation, but ascribed it +to a wrong cause. "Come," said he, "I can guess your objections and can +obviate them. You are afraid of being ushered into company; and people +who have passed their lives like you have a wonderful antipathy to +strange faces; but this is bedtime with our family, so that we can defer +your introduction to them till to-morrow. We may go to our chamber +without being seen by any but servants." + +I had not been aware of this circumstance. My reluctance flowed from a +different cause, but, now that the inconveniences of ceremony were +mentioned, they appeared to me of considerable weight. I was well +pleased that they should thus be avoided, and consented to go along with +him. + +We passed several streets and turned several corners. At last we turned +into a kind of court which seemed to be chiefly occupied by stables. "We +will go," said he, "by the back way into the house. We shall thus save +ourselves the necessity of entering the parlour, where some of the +family may still be." + +My companion was as talkative as ever, but said nothing from which I +could gather any knowledge of the number, character, and condition of +his family. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +We arrived at a brick wall, through which we passed by a gate into an +extensive court or yard. The darkness would allow me to see nothing but +outlines. Compared with the pigmy dimensions of my father's wooden +hovel, the buildings before me were of gigantic loftiness. The horses +were here far more magnificently accommodated than I had been. By a +large door we entered an elevated hall. "Stay here," said he, "just +while I fetch a light." + +He returned, bearing a candle, before I had time to ponder on my present +situation. + +We now ascended a staircase, covered with painted canvas. No one whose +inexperience is less than mine can imagine to himself the impressions +made upon me by surrounding objects. The height to which this stair +ascended, its dimensions, and its ornaments, appeared to me a +combination of all that was pompous and superb. + +We stopped not till we had reached the third story. Here my companion +unlocked and led the way into a chamber. "This," said he, "is my room; +permit me to welcome you into it." + +I had no time to examine this room before, by some accident, the candle +was extinguished. "Curse upon my carelessness!" said he. "I must go down +again and light the candle. I will return in a twinkling. Meanwhile you +may undress yourself and go to bed." He went out, and, as I afterwards +recollected, locked the door behind him. + +I was not indisposed to follow his advice, but my curiosity would first +be gratified by a survey of the room. Its height and spaciousness were +imperfectly discernible by starlight, and by gleams from a street-lamp. +The floor was covered with a carpet, the walls with brilliant hangings; +the bed and windows were shrouded by curtains of a rich texture and +glossy hues. Hitherto I had merely read of these things. I knew them to +be the decorations of opulence; and yet, as I viewed them, and +remembered where and what I was on the same hour the preceding day, I +could scarcely believe myself awake, or that my senses were not beguiled +by some spell. + +"Where," said I, "will this adventure terminate? I rise on the morrow +with the dawn and speed into the country. When this night is remembered, +how like a vision will it appear! If I tell the tale by a kitchen-fire, +my veracity will be disputed. I shall be ranked with the story-tellers +of Shiraz and Bagdad." + +Though busied in these reflections, I was not inattentive to the +progress of time. Methought my companion was remarkably dilatory. He +went merely to relight his candle, but certainly he might, during this +time, have performed the operation ten times over. Some unforeseen +accident might occasion his delay. + +Another interval passed, and no tokens of his coming. I began now to +grow uneasy. I was unable to account for his detention. Was not some +treachery designed? I went to the door, and found that it was locked. +This heightened my suspicions. I was alone, a stranger, in an upper room +of the house. Should my conductor have disappeared, by design or by +accident, and some one of the family should find me here, what would be +the consequence? Should I not be arrested as a thief, and conveyed to +prison? My transition from the street to this chamber would not be more +rapid than my passage hence to a jail. + +These ideas struck me with panic. I revolved them anew, but they only +acquired greater plausibility. No doubt I had been the victim of +malicious artifice. Inclination, however, conjured up opposite +sentiments, and my fears began to subside. What motive, I asked, could +induce a human being to inflict wanton injury? I could not account for +his delay; but how numberless were the contingencies that might occasion +it! + +I was somewhat comforted by these reflections, but the consolation they +afforded was short-lived. I was listening with the utmost eagerness to +catch the sound of a foot, when a noise was indeed heard, but totally +unlike a step. It was human breath struggling, as it were, for passage. +On the first effort of attention, it appeared like a groan. Whence it +arose I could not tell. He that uttered it was near; perhaps in the +room. + +Presently the same noise was again heard, and now I perceived that it +came from the bed. It was accompanied with a motion like some one +changing his posture. What I at first conceived to be a groan appeared +now to be nothing more than the expiration of a sleeping man. What +should I infer from this incident? My companion did not apprize me that +the apartment was inhabited. Was his imposture a jestful or a wicked +one? + +There was no need to deliberate. There were no means of concealment or +escape. The person would some time awaken and detect me. The interval +would only be fraught with agony, and it was wise to shorten it. Should +I not withdraw the curtain, awake the person, and encounter at once all +the consequences of my situation? I glided softly to the bed, when the +thought occurred, May not the sleeper be a female? + +I cannot describe the mixture of dread and of shame which glowed in my +veins. The light in which such a visitant would be probably regarded by +a woman's fears, the precipitate alarms that might be given, the injury +which I might unknowingly inflict or undeservedly suffer, threw my +thoughts into painful confusion. My presence might pollute a spotless +reputation, or furnish fuel to jealousy. + +Still, though it were a female, would not less injury be done by gently +interrupting her slumber? But the question of sex still remained to be +decided. For this end I once more approached the bed, and drew aside the +silk. The sleeper was a babe. This I discovered by the glimmer of a +street-lamp. + +Part of my solicitudes were now removed. It was plain that this chamber +belonged to a nurse or a mother. She had not yet come to bed. Perhaps it +was a married pair, and their approach might be momently expected. I +pictured to myself their entrance and my own detection. I could imagine +no consequence that was not disastrous and horrible, and from which I +would not at any price escape. I again examined the door, and found that +exit by this avenue was impossible. There were other doors in this room. +Any practicable expedient in this extremity was to be pursued. One of +these was bolted. I unfastened it and found a considerable space within. +Should I immure myself in this closet? I saw no benefit that would +finally result from it. I discovered that there was a bolt on the +inside, which would somewhat contribute to security. This being drawn, +no one could enter without breaking the door. + +I had scarcely paused, when the long-expected sound of footsteps was +heard in the entry. Was it my companion, or a stranger? If it were the +latter, I had not yet mustered courage sufficient to meet him. I cannot +applaud the magnanimity of my proceeding; but no one can expect intrepid +or judicious measures from one in my circumstances. I stepped into the +closet, and closed the door. Some one immediately after unlocked the +chamber door. He was unattended with a light. The footsteps, as they +moved along the carpet, could scarcely be heard. + +I waited impatiently for some token by which I might be governed. I put +my ear to the keyhole, and at length heard a voice, but not that of my +companion, exclaim, somewhat above a whisper, "Smiling cherub! safe and +sound, I see. Would to God my experiment may succeed, and that thou +mayest find a mother where I have found a wife!" There he stopped. He +appeared to kiss the babe, and, presently retiring, locked the door +after him. + +These words were capable of no consistent meaning. They served, at +least, to assure me that I had been treacherously dealt with. This +chamber, it was manifest, did not belong to my companion. I put up +prayers to my Deity that he would deliver me from these toils. What a +condition was mine! Immersed in palpable darkness! shut up in this +unknown recess! lurking like a robber! + +My meditations were disturbed by new sounds. The door was unlocked, +more than one person entered the apartment, and light streamed through +the keyhole. I looked; but the aperture was too small and the figures +passed too quickly to permit me the sight of them. I bent my ear, and +this imparted some more authentic information. + +The man, as I judged by the voice, was the same who had just departed. +Rustling of silk denoted his companion to be female. Some words being +uttered by the man, in too low a key to be overheard, the lady burst +into a passion of tears. He strove to comfort her by soothing tones and +tender appellations. "How can it be helped?" said he. "It is time to +resume your courage. Your duty to yourself and to me requires you to +subdue this unreasonable grief." + +He spoke frequently in this strain, but all he said seemed to have +little influence in pacifying the lady. At length, however, her sobs +began to lessen in vehemence and frequency. He exhorted her to seek for +some repose. Apparently she prepared to comply, and conversation was, +for a few minutes, intermitted. + +I could not but advert to the possibility that some occasion to examine +the closet, in which I was immured, might occur. I knew not in what +manner to demean myself if this should take place. I had no option at +present. By withdrawing myself from view I had lost the privilege of an +upright deportment. Yet the thought of spending the night in this spot +was not to be endured. + +Gradually I began to view the project of bursting from the closet, and +trusting to the energy of truth and of an artless tale, with more +complacency. More than once my hand was placed upon the bolt, but +withdrawn by a sudden faltering of resolution. When one attempt failed, +I recurred once more to such reflections as were adapted to renew my +purpose. + +I preconcerted the address which I should use. I resolved to be +perfectly explicit; to withhold no particular of my adventures from the +moment of my arrival. My description must necessarily suit some person +within their knowledge. All I should want was liberty to depart; but, if +this were not allowed, I might at least hope to escape any ill +treatment, and to be confronted with my betrayer. In that case I did not +fear to make him the attester of my innocence. + +Influenced by these considerations, I once more touched the lock. At +that moment the lady shrieked, and exclaimed, "Good God! What is here?" +An interesting conversation ensued. The object that excited her +astonishment was the child. I collected from what passed that the +discovery was wholly unexpected by her. Her husband acted as if equally +unaware of this event. He joined in all her exclamations of wonder and +all her wild conjectures. When these were somewhat exhausted, he +artfully insinuated the propriety of bestowing care upon the little +foundling. I now found that her grief had been occasioned by the recent +loss of her own offspring. She was, for some time, averse to her +husband's proposal, but at length was persuaded to take the babe to her +bosom and give it nourishment. + +This incident had diverted my mind from its favourite project, and +filled me with speculations on the nature of the scene. One explication +was obvious, that the husband was the parent of this child, and had used +this singular expedient to procure for it the maternal protection of his +wife. It would soon claim from her all the fondness which she +entertained for her own progeny. No suspicion probably had yet, or would +hereafter, occur with regard to its true parent. If her character be +distinguished by the usual attributes of women, the knowledge of this +truth may convert her love into hatred. I reflected with amazement on +the slightness of that thread by which human passions are led from their +true direction. With no less amazement did I remark the complexity of +incidents by which I had been empowered to communicate to her this +truth. How baseless are the structures of falsehood, which we build in +opposition to the system of eternal nature! If I should escape +undetected from this recess, it will be true that I never saw the face +of either of these persons, and yet I am acquainted with the most secret +transaction of their lives. + +My own situation was now more critical than before. The lights were +extinguished, and the parties had sought repose. To issue from the +closet now would be imminently dangerous. My councils were again at a +stand and my designs frustrated. Meanwhile the persons did not drop +their discourse, and I thought myself justified in listening. Many facts +of the most secret and momentous nature were alluded to. Some allusions +were unintelligible. To others I was able to affix a plausible meaning, +and some were palpable enough. Every word that was uttered on that +occasion is indelibly imprinted on my memory. Perhaps the singularity of +my circumstances, and my previous ignorance of what was passing in the +world, contributed to render me a greedy listener. Most that was said I +shall overlook; but one part of the conversation it will be necessary to +repeat. + +A large company had assembled that evening at their house. They +criticized the character and manners of several. At last the husband +said, "What think you of the nabob? Especially when he talked about +riches? How artfully he encourages the notion of his poverty! Yet not a +soul believes him. I cannot for my part account for that scheme of his. +I half suspect that his wealth flows from a bad source, since he is so +studious of concealing it." + +"Perhaps, after all," said the lady, "you are mistaken as to his +wealth." + +"Impossible," exclaimed the other. "Mark how he lives. Have I not seen +his bank-account? His deposits, since he has been here, amount to no +less than half a million." + +"Heaven grant that it be so!" said the lady, with a sigh. "I shall think +with less aversion of your scheme. If poor Tom's fortune be made, and he +not the worse, or but little the worse on that account, I shall think it +on the whole best." + +"That," replied he, "is what reconciles me to the scheme. To him thirty +thousand are nothing." + +"But will he not suspect you of some hand in it?" + +"How can he? Will I not appear to lose as well as himself? Tom is my +brother, but who can be supposed to answer for a brother's integrity? +but he cannot suspect either of us. Nothing less than a miracle can +bring our plot to light. Besides, this man is not what he ought to be. +He will, some time or other, come out to be a grand impostor. He makes +money by other arts than bargain and sale. He has found his way, by some +means, to the Portuguese treasury." + +Here the conversation took a new direction, and, after some time, the +silence of sleep ensued. + +Who, thought I, is this nabob who counts his dollars by half-millions, +and on whom it seems as if some fraud was intended to be practised? +Amidst their wariness and subtlety, how little are they aware that their +conversation has been overheard! By means as inscrutable as those which +conducted me hither, I may hereafter be enabled to profit by this +detection of a plot. But, meanwhile, what was I to do? How was I to +effect my escape from this perilous asylum? + +After much reflection, it occurred to me that to gain the street without +exciting their notice was not utterly impossible. Sleep does not +commonly end of itself, unless at a certain period. What impediments +were there between me and liberty which I could not remove, and remove +with so much caution as to escape notice? Motion and sound inevitably go +together; but every sound is not attended to. The doors of the closet +and the chamber did not creak upon their hinges. The latter might be +locked. This I was able to ascertain only by experiment. If it were so, +yet the key was probably in the lock, and might be used without much +noise. + +I waited till their slow and hoarser inspirations showed them to be both +asleep. Just then, on changing my position, my head struck against some +things which depended from the ceiling of the closet. They were +implements of some kind which rattled against each other in consequence +of this unlucky blow. I was fearful lest this noise should alarm, as the +closet was little distant from the bed. The breathing of one instantly +ceased, and a motion was made as if the head were lifted from the +pillow. This motion, which was made by the husband, awaked his +companion, who exclaimed, "What is the matter?" + +"Something, I believe," replied he, "in the closet. If I was not +dreaming, I heard the pistols strike against each other as if some one +was taking them down." + +This intimation was well suited to alarm the lady. She besought him to +ascertain the matter. This, to my utter dismay, he at first consented to +do, but presently observed that probably his ears had misinformed him. +It was hardly possible that the sound proceeded from them. It might be a +rat, or his own fancy might have fashioned it. It is not easy to +describe my trepidations while this conference was holding. I saw how +easily their slumber was disturbed. The obstacles to my escape were less +surmountable than I had imagined. + +In a little time all was again still. I waited till the usual tokens of +sleep were distinguishable. I once more resumed my attempt. The bolt was +withdrawn with all possible slowness; but I could by no means prevent +all sound. My state was full of inquietude and suspense; my attention +being painfully divided between the bolt and the condition of the +sleepers. The difficulty lay in giving that degree of force which was +barely sufficient. Perhaps not less than fifteen minutes were consumed +in this operation. At last it was happily effected, and the door was +cautiously opened. + +Emerging as I did from utter darkness, the light admitted into three +windows produced, to my eyes, a considerable illumination. Objects +which, on my first entrance into this apartment, were invisible, were +now clearly discerned. The bed was shrouded by curtains, yet I shrunk +back into my covert, fearful of being seen. To facilitate my escape, I +put off my shoes. My mind was so full of objects of more urgent moment, +that the propriety of taking them along with me never occurred. I left +them in the closet. + +I now glided across the apartment to the door. I was not a little +discouraged by observing that the key was wanting. My whole hope +depended on the omission to lock it. In my haste to ascertain this +point, I made some noise which again roused one of the sleepers. He +started, and cried, "Who is there?" + +I now regarded my case as desperate, and detection as inevitable. My +apprehensions, rather than my caution, kept me mute. I shrunk to the +wall, and waited in a kind of agony for the moment that should decide my +fate. + +The lady was again roused. In answer to her inquiries, her husband said +that some one, he believed, was at the door, but there was no danger of +their entering, for he had locked it, and the key was in his pocket. + +My courage was completely annihilated by this piece of intelligence. My +resources were now at an end. I could only remain in this spot till the +morning light, which could be at no great distance, should discover me. +My inexperience disabled me from estimating all the perils of my +situation. Perhaps I had no more than temporary inconveniences to dread. +My intention was innocent, and I had been betrayed into my present +situation, not by my own wickedness, but the wickedness of others. + +I was deeply impressed with the ambiguousness which would necessarily +rest upon my motives, and the scrutiny to which they would be subjected. +I shuddered at the bare possibility of being ranked with thieves. These +reflections again gave edge to my ingenuity in search of the means of +escape. I had carefully attended to the circumstances of their entrance. +Possibly the act of locking had been unnoticed; but was it not likewise +possible that this person had been mistaken? The key was gone. Would +this have been the case if the door were unlocked? + +My fears, rather than my hopes, impelled me to make the experiment. I +drew back the latch, and, to my unspeakable joy, the door opened. + +I passed through and explored my way to the staircase. I descended till +I reached the bottom. I could not recollect with accuracy the position +of the door leading into the court, but, by carefully feeling along the +wall with my hands, I at length discovered it. It was fastened by +several bolts and a lock. The bolts were easily withdrawn, but the key +was removed. I knew not where it was deposited. I thought I had reached +the threshold of liberty, but here was an impediment that threatened to +be insurmountable. + +But, if doors could not be passed, windows might be unbarred. I +remembered that my companion had gone into a door on the left hand, in +search of a light. I searched for this door. Fortunately it was fastened +only by a bolt. It admitted me into a room which I carefully explored +till I reached a window. I will not dwell on my efforts to unbar this +entrance. Suffice it to say that, after much exertion and frequent +mistakes, I at length found my way into the yard, and thence passed into +the court. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +Now I was once more on public ground. By so many anxious efforts had I +disengaged myself from the perilous precincts of private property. As +many stratagems as are usually made to enter a house had been employed +by me to get out of it. I was urged to the use of them by my fears; yet, +so far from carrying off spoil, I had escaped with the loss of an +essential part of my dress. + +I had now leisure to reflect. I seated myself on the ground and reviewed +the scenes through which I had just passed. I began to think that my +industry had been misemployed. Suppose I had met the person on his first +entrance into his chamber? Was the truth so utterly wild as not to have +found credit? Since the door was locked, and there was no other avenue, +what other statement but the true one would account for my being found +there? This deportment had been worthy of an honest purpose. My betrayer +probably expected that this would be the issue of his jest. My rustic +simplicity, he might think, would suggest no more ambiguous or elaborate +expedient. He might likewise have predetermined to interfere if my +safety had been really endangered. + +On the morrow the two doors of the chamber and the window below would be +found unclosed. They will suspect a design to pillage, but their +searches will terminate in nothing but in the discovery of a pair of +clumsy and dusty shoes in the closet. Now that I was safe I could not +help smiling at the picture which my fancy drew of their anxiety and +wonder. These thoughts, however, gave place to more momentous +considerations. + +I could not imagine to myself a more perfect example of indigence than I +now exhibited. There was no being in the city on whose kindness I had +any claim. Money I had none, and what I then wore comprised my whole +stock of movables. I had just lost my shoes, and this loss rendered my +stockings of no use. My dignity remonstrated against a barefoot +pilgrimage, but to this, necessity now reconciled me. I threw my +stockings between the bars of a stable-window, belonging, as I thought, +to the mansion I had just left. These, together with my shoes, I left to +pay the cost of my entertainment. + +I saw that the city was no place for me. The end that I had had in view, +of procuring some mechanical employment, could only be obtained by the +use of means, but what means to pursue I knew not. This night's perils +and deceptions gave me a distaste to a city life, and my ancient +occupations rose to my view enhanced by a thousand imaginary charms, I +resolved forthwith to strike into the country. + +The day began now to dawn. It was Sunday, and I was desirous of eluding +observation. I was somewhat recruited by rest, though the languors of +sleeplessness oppressed me. I meant to throw myself on the first lap of +verdure I should meet, and indulge in sleep that I so much wanted. I +knew not the direction of the streets; but followed that which I first +entered from the court, trusting that, by adhering steadily to one +course, I should some time reach the fields. This street, as I +afterwards found, tended to Schuylkill, and soon extricated me from +houses. I could not cross this river without payment of toll. It was +requisite to cross it in order to reach that part of the country whither +I was desirous of going; but how should I effect my passage? I knew of +no ford, and the smallest expense exceeded my capacity. Ten thousand +guineas and a farthing were equally remote from nothing, and nothing was +the portion allotted to me. + +While my mind was thus occupied, I turned up one of the streets which +tend northward. It was, for some length, uninhabited and unpaved. +Presently I reached a pavement, and a painted fence, along which a row +of poplars was planted. It bounded a garden into which a knot-hole +permitted me to pry. The enclosure was a charming green, which I saw +appended to a house of the loftiest and most stately order. It seemed +like a recent erection, had all the gloss of novelty, and exhibited, to +my unpractised eyes, the magnificence of palaces. My father's dwelling +did not equal the height of one story, and might be easily comprised in +one-fourth of those buildings which here were designed to accommodate +the menials. My heart dictated the comparison between my own condition +and that of the proprietors of this domain. How wide and how impassable +was the gulf by which we were separated! This fair inheritance had +fallen to one who, perhaps, would only abuse it to the purposes of +luxury, while I, with intentions worthy of the friend of mankind, was +doomed to wield the flail and the mattock. + +I had been entirely unaccustomed to this strain of reflection. My books +had taught me the dignity and safety of the middle path, and my darling +writer abounded with encomiums on rural life. At a distance from luxury +and pomp, I viewed them, perhaps, in a just light. A nearer scrutiny +confirmed my early prepossessions; but, at the distance at which I now +stood, the lofty edifices, the splendid furniture, and the copious +accommodations of the rich excited my admiration and my envy. + +I relinquished my station, and proceeded, in a heartless mood, along the +fence. I now came to the mansion itself. The principal door was entered +by a staircase of marble. I had never seen the stone of Carrara, and +wildly supposed this to have been dug from Italian quarries. The beauty +of the poplars, the coolness exhaled from the dew-besprent bricks, the +commodiousness of the seat which these steps afforded, and the +uncertainty into which I was plunged respecting my future conduct, all +combined to make me pause. I sat down on the lower step and began to +meditate. + +By some transition it occurred to me that the supply of my most urgent +wants might be found in some inhabitant of this house. I needed at +present a few cents; and what were a few cents to the tenant of a +mansion like this? I had an invincible aversion to the calling of a +beggar, but I regarded with still more antipathy the vocation of a +thief; to this alternative, however, I was now reduced. I must either +steal or beg; unless, indeed, assistance could be procured under the +notion of a loan. Would a stranger refuse to lend the pittance that I +wanted? Surely not, when the urgency of my wants was explained. + +I recollected other obstacles. To summon the master of the house from +his bed, perhaps, for the sake of such an application, would be +preposterous. I should be in more danger of provoking his anger than +exciting his benevolence. This request might, surely, with more +propriety be preferred to a passenger. I should, probably, meet several +before I should arrive at Schuylkill. + +A servant just then appeared at the door, with bucket and brush. This +obliged me, much sooner than I intended, to decamp. With some reluctance +I rose and proceeded. This house occupied the corner of the street, and +I now turned this corner towards the country. A person, at some distance +before me, was approaching in an opposite direction. + +"Why," said I, "may I not make my demand of the first man I meet? This +person exhibits tokens of ability to lend. There is nothing chilling or +austere in his demeanour." + +The resolution to address this passenger was almost formed; but the +nearer he advanced my resolves grew less firm. He noticed me not till he +came within a few paces. He seemed busy in reflection; and, had not my +figure caught his eye, or had he merely bestowed a passing glance upon +me, I should not have been sufficiently courageous to have detained him. +The event, however, was widely different. + +He looked at me and started. For an instant, as it were, and till he had +time to dart at me a second glance, he checked his pace. This behaviour +decided mine, and he stopped on perceiving tokens of a desire to address +him. I spoke, but my accents and air sufficiently denoted my +embarrassments:-- + +"I am going to solicit a favour which my situation makes of the highest +importance to me, and which I hope it will be easy for you, sir, to +grant. It is not an alms, but a loan, that I seek; a loan that I will +repay the moment I am able to do it. I am going to the country, but +have not wherewith to pay my passage over Schuylkill, or to buy a morsel +of bread. May I venture to request of you, sir, the loan of sixpence? As +I told you, it is my intention to repay it." + +I delivered this address, not without some faltering, but with great +earnestness. I laid particular stress upon my intention to refund the +money. He listened with a most inquisitive air. His eye perused me from +head to foot. + +After some pause, he said, in a very emphatic manner, "Why into the +country? Have you family? Kindred? Friends?" + +"No," answered I, "I have neither. I go in search of the means of +subsistence. I have passed my life upon a farm, and propose to die in +the same condition." + +"Whence have you come?" + +"I came yesterday from the country, with a view to earn my bread in some +way, but have changed my plan and propose now to return." + +"Why have you changed it? In what way are you capable of earning your +bread?" + +"I hardly know," said I. "I can, as yet, manage no tool, that can be +managed in the city, but the pen. My habits have, in some small degree, +qualified me for a writer. I would willingly accept employment of that +kind." + +He fixed his eyes upon the earth, and was silent for some minutes. At +length, recovering himself, he said, "Follow me to my house. Perhaps +something may be done for you. If not, I will lend you sixpence." + +It may be supposed that I eagerly complied with the invitation. My +companion said no more, his air bespeaking him to be absorbed by his own +thoughts, till he reached his house, which proved to be that at the door +of which I had been seated. We entered a parlour together. + +Unless you can assume my ignorance and my simplicity, you will be unable +to conceive the impressions that were made by the size and ornaments of +this apartment. I shall omit these impressions, which, indeed, no +description could adequately convey, and dwell on incidents of greater +moment. He asked me to give him a specimen of my penmanship. I told you +that I had bestowed very great attention upon this art. Implements were +brought, and I sat down to the task. By some inexplicable connection a +line in Shakspeare occurred to me, and I wrote,-- + + "My poverty, but not my will, consents." + +The sentiment conveyed in this line powerfully affected him, but in a +way which I could not then comprehend. I collected from subsequent +events that the inference was not unfavourable to my understanding or my +morals. He questioned me as to my history. I related my origin and my +inducements to desert my father's house. With respect to last night's +adventures I was silent. I saw no useful purpose that could be answered +by disclosure, and I half suspected that my companion would refuse +credit to my tale. + +There were frequent intervals of abstraction and reflection between his +questions. My examination lasted not much less than an hour. At length +he said, "I want an amanuensis or copyist. On what terms will you live +with me?" + +I answered that I knew not how to estimate the value of my services. I +knew not whether these services were agreeable or healthful. My life had +hitherto been active. My constitution was predisposed to diseases of the +lungs, and the change might be hurtful. I was willing, however, to try +and to content myself for a month or a year, with so much as would +furnish me with food, clothing, and lodging. + +"'Tis well," said he. "You remain with me as long and no longer than +both of us please. You shall lodge and eat in this house. I will supply +you with clothing, and your task will be to write what I dictate. Your +person, I see, has not shared much of your attention. It is in my power +to equip you instantly in the manner which becomes a resident in this +house. Come with me." + +He led the way into the court behind and thence into a neat building, +which contained large wooden vessels and a pump: "There," said he, "you +may wash yourself; and, when that is done, I will conduct you to your +chamber and your wardrobe." + +This was speedily performed, and he accordingly led the way to the +chamber. It was an apartment in the third story, finished and furnished +in the same costly and superb style with the rest of the house. He +opened closets and drawers which overflowed with clothes and linen of +all and of the best kinds. "These are yours," said he, "as long as you +stay with me. Dress yourself as likes you best. Here is every thing your +nakedness requires. When dressed, you may descend to breakfast." With +these words he left me. + +The clothes were all in the French style, as I afterwards, by comparing +my garb with that of others, discovered. They were fitted to my shape +with the nicest precision. I bedecked myself with all my care. I +remembered the style of dress used by my beloved Clavering. My locks +were of shining auburn, flowing and smooth like his. Having wrung the +wet from them, and combed, I tied them carelessly in a black riband. +Thus equipped, I surveyed myself in a mirror. + +You may imagine, if you can, the sensations which this instantaneous +transformation produced. Appearances are wonderfully influenced by +dress. Check shirt, buttoned at the neck, an awkward fustian coat, check +trowsers and bare feet, were now supplanted by linen and muslin, nankeen +coat striped with green, a white silk waistcoat elegantly +needle-wrought, cassimere pantaloons, stockings of variegated silk, and +shoes that in their softness, pliancy, and polished surface vied with +satin. I could scarcely forbear looking back to see whether the image in +the glass, so well proportioned, so gallant, and so graceful, did not +belong to another. I could scarcely recognise any lineaments of my own. +I walked to the window. "Twenty minutes ago," said I, "I was traversing +that path a barefoot beggar; now I am thus." Again I surveyed myself. +"Surely some insanity has fastened on my understanding. My senses are +the sport of dreams. Some magic that disdains the cumbrousness of +nature's progress has wrought this change." I was roused from these +doubts by a summons to breakfast, obsequiously delivered by a black +servant. + +I found Welbeck (for I shall henceforth call him by his true name) at +the breakfast-table. A superb equipage of silver and china was before +him. He was startled at my entrance. The change in my dress seemed for a +moment to have deceived him. His eye was frequently fixed upon me with +unusual steadfastness. At these times there was inquietude and wonder in +his features. + +I had now an opportunity of examining my host. There was nicety but no +ornament in his dress. His form was of the middle height, spare, but +vigorous and graceful. His face was cast, I thought, in a foreign mould. +His forehead receded beyond the usual degree in visages which I had +seen. His eyes large and prominent, but imparting no marks of benignity +and habitual joy. The rest of his face forcibly suggested the idea of a +convex edge. His whole figure impressed me with emotions of veneration +and awe. A gravity that almost amounted to sadness invariably attended +him when we were alone together. + +He whispered the servant that waited, who immediately retired. He then +said, turning to me, "A lady will enter presently, whom you are to treat +with the respect due to my daughter. You must not notice any emotion she +may betray at the sight of you, nor expect her to converse with you; for +she does not understand your language." He had scarcely spoken when she +entered. I was seized with certain misgivings and flutterings which a +clownish education may account for. I so far conquered my timidity, +however, as to snatch a look at her. I was not born to execute her +portrait. Perhaps the turban that wreathed her head, the brilliant +texture and inimitable folds of her drapery, and nymphlike port, more +than the essential attributes of her person, gave splendour to the +celestial vision. Perhaps it was her snowy hues, and the cast rather +than the position of her features, that were so prolific of enchantment; +or perhaps the wonder originated only in my own ignorance. + +She did not immediately notice me. When she did she almost shrieked with +surprise. She held up her hands, and, gazing upon me, uttered various +exclamations which I could not understand. I could only remark that her +accents were thrillingly musical. Her perturbations refused to be +stilled. It was with difficulty that she withdrew her regards from me. +Much conversation passed between her and Welbeck, but I could comprehend +no part of it. I was at liberty to animadvert on the visible part of +their intercourse. I diverted some part of my attention from my own +embarrassments, and fixed it on their looks. + +In this art, as in most others, I was an unpractised simpleton. In the +countenance of Welbeck, there was somewhat else than sympathy with the +astonishment and distress of the lady; but I could not interpret these +additional tokens. When her attention was engrossed by Welbeck, her eyes +were frequently vagrant or downcast; her cheeks contracted a deeper hue; +and her breathing was almost prolonged into a sigh. These were marks on +which I made no comments at the time. My own situation was calculated to +breed confusion in my thoughts and awkwardness in my gestures. Breakfast +being finished, the lady, apparently at the request of Welbeck, sat down +to a piano-forte. + +Here again I must be silent. I was not wholly destitute of musical +practice and musical taste. I had that degree of knowledge which enabled +me to estimate the transcendent skill of this performer. As if the +pathos of her touch were insufficient, I found after some time that the +lawless jarrings of the keys were chastened by her own more liquid +notes. She played without a book, and, though her bass might be +preconcerted, it was plain that her right-hand notes were momentary and +spontaneous inspirations. Meanwhile Welbeck stood, leaning his arms on +the back of a chair near her, with his eyes fixed on her face. His +features were fraught with a meaning which I was eager to interpret, but +unable. + +I have read of transitions effected by magic; I have read of palaces and +deserts which were subject to the dominion of spells; poets may sport +with their power, but I am certain that no transition was ever conceived +more marvellous and more beyond the reach of foresight than that which I +had just experienced. Heaths vexed by a midnight storm may be changed +into a hall of choral nymphs and regal banqueting; forest glades may +give sudden place to colonnades and carnivals; but he whose senses are +deluded finds himself still on his natal earth. These miracles are +contemptible when compared with that which placed me under this roof and +gave me to partake in this audience. I know that my emotions are in +danger of being regarded as ludicrous by those who cannot figure to +themselves the consequences of a limited and rustic education. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + +In a short time the lady retired. I naturally expected that some +comments would be made on her behaviour, and that the cause of her +surprise and distress on seeing me would be explained; but Welbeck said +nothing on that subject. When she had gone, he went to the window and +stood for some time occupied, as it seemed, with his own thoughts. Then +he turned to me, and, calling me by my name, desired me to accompany him +up-stairs. There was neither cheerfulness nor mildness in his address, +but neither was there any thing domineering or arrogant. + +We entered an apartment on the same floor with my chamber, but separated +from it by a spacious entry. It was supplied with bureaus, cabinets, and +bookcases. "This," said he, "is your room and mine; but we must enter it +and leave it together. I mean to act not as your master but your friend. +My maimed hand" (so saying, he showed me his right hand, the forefinger +of which was wanting) "will not allow me to write accurately or +copiously. For this reason I have required your aid, in a work of some +moment. Much haste will not be requisite, and, as to the hours and +duration of employment, these will be seasonable and short. + +"Your present situation is new to you, and we will therefore defer +entering on our business. Meanwhile you may amuse yourself in what +manner you please. Consider this house as your home and make yourself +familiar with it. Stay within or go out, be busy or be idle, as your +fancy shall prompt: only you will conform to our domestic system as to +eating and sleep; the servants will inform you of this. Next week we +will enter on the task for which I designed you. You may now withdraw." + +I obeyed this mandate with some awkwardness and hesitation. I went into +my own chamber not displeased with an opportunity of loneliness. I threw +myself on a chair and resigned myself to those thoughts which would +naturally arise in this situation. I speculated on the character and +views of Welbeck. I saw that he was embosomed in tranquillity and +grandeur. Riches, therefore, were his; but in what did his opulence +consist, and whence did it arise? What were the limits by which it was +confined, and what its degree of permanence? I was unhabituated to ideas +of floating or transferable wealth. The rent of houses and lands was the +only species of property which was, as yet, perfectly intelligible. My +previous ideas led me to regard Welbeck as the proprietor of this +dwelling and of numerous houses and farms. By the same cause I was fain +to suppose him enriched by inheritance, and that his life had been +uniform. + +I next adverted to his social condition. This mansion appeared to have +but two inhabitants besides servants. Who was the nymph who had hovered +for a moment in my sight? Had he not called her his daughter? The +apparent difference in their ages would justify this relation; but her +guise, her features, and her accents, were foreign. Her language I +suspected strongly to be that of Italy. How should he be the father of +an Italian? But were there not some foreign lineaments in his +countenance? + +This idea seemed to open a new world to my view. I had gained, from my +books, confused ideas of European governments and manners. I knew that +the present was a period of revolution and hostility. Might not these be +illustrious fugitives from Provence or the Milanese? Their portable +wealth, which may reasonably be supposed to be great, they have +transported hither. Thus may be explained the sorrow that veils their +countenance. The loss of estates and honours; the untimely death of +kindred, and perhaps of his wife, may furnish eternal food for regrets. +Welbeck's utterance, though rapid and distinct, partook, as I conceived, +in some very slight degree of a foreign idiom. + +Such was the dream that haunted my undisciplined and unenlightened +imagination. The more I revolved it, the more plausible it seemed. On +due supposition every appearance that I had witnessed was easily +solved,--unless it were their treatment of me. This, at first, was a +source of hopeless perplexity. Gradually, however, a clue seemed to be +afforded. Welbeck had betrayed astonishment on my first appearance. The +lady's wonder was mingled with distress. Perhaps they discovered a +remarkable resemblance between me and one who stood in the relation of +son to Welbeck, and of brother to the lady. This youth might have +perished on the scaffold or in war. These, no doubt, were his clothes. +This chamber might have been reserved for him, but his death left it to +be appropriated to another. + +I had hitherto been unable to guess at the reason why all this kindness +had been lavished on me. Will not this conjecture sufficiently account +for it? No wonder that this resemblance was enhanced by assuming his +dress. + +Taking all circumstances into view, these ideas were not, perhaps, +destitute of probability. Appearances naturally suggested them to me. +They were, also, powerfully enforced by inclination. They threw me into +transports of wonder and hope. When I dwelt upon the incidents of my +past life, and traced the chain of events, from the death of my mother +to the present moment, I almost acquiesced in the notion that some +beneficent and ruling genius had prepared my path for me. Events which, +when foreseen, would most ardently have been deprecated, and when they +happened were accounted in the highest degree luckless, were now seen to +be propitious. Hence I inferred the infatuation of despair, and the +folly of precipitate conclusions. + +But what was the fate reserved for me? Perhaps Welbeck would adopt me +for his own son. Wealth has ever been capriciously distributed. The mere +physical relation of birth is all that entitles us to manors and +thrones. Identity itself frequently depends upon a casual likeness or an +old nurse's imposture. Nations have risen in arms, as in the case of the +Stuarts, in the cause of one the genuineness of whose birth has been +denied and can never be proved. But if the cause be trivial and +fallacious, the effects are momentous and solid. It ascertains our +portion of felicity and usefulness, and fixes our lot among peasants or +princes. + +Something may depend upon my own deportment. Will it not behoove me to +cultivate all my virtues and eradicate all my defects? I see that the +abilities of this man are venerable. Perhaps he will not lightly or +hastily decide in my favour. He will be governed by the proofs that I +shall give of discernment and integrity. I had always been exempt from +temptation, and was therefore undepraved; but this view of things had a +wonderful tendency to invigorate my virtuous resolutions. All within me +was exhilaration and joy. + +There was but one thing wanting to exalt me to a dizzy height and give +me place among the stars of heaven. My resemblance to her brother had +forcibly affected this lady; but I was not her brother. I was raised to +a level with her and made a tenant of the same mansion. Some intercourse +would take place between us. Time would lay level impediments and +establish familiarity, and this intercourse might foster love and +terminate in--_marriage_! + +These images were of a nature too glowing and expansive to allow me to +be longer inactive. I sallied forth into the open air. This tumult of +delicious thoughts in some time subsided, and gave way to images +relative to my present situation. My curiosity was awake. As yet I had +seen little of the city, and this opportunity for observation was not to +be neglected. I therefore coursed through several streets, attentively +examining the objects that successively presented themselves. + +At length, it occurred to me to search out the house in which I had +lately been immured. I was not without hopes that at some future period +I should be able to comprehend the allusions and brighten the +obscurities that hung about the dialogue of last night. + +The house was easily discovered. I reconnoitred the court and gate +through which I had passed. The mansion was of the first order in +magnitude and decoration. This was not the bound of my present +discovery, for I was gifted with that confidence which would make me set +on foot inquiries in the neighbourhood. I looked around for a suitable +medium of intelligence. The opposite and adjoining houses were small, +and apparently occupied by persons of an indigent class. At one of these +was a sign denoting it to be the residence of a tailor. Seated on a +bench at the door was a young man, with coarse uncombed locks, breeches +knee-unbuttoned, stockings ungartered, shoes slipshod and unbuckled, and +a face unwashed, gazing stupidly from hollow eyes. His aspect was +embellished with good nature, though indicative of ignorance. + +This was the only person in sight. He might be able to say something +concerning his opulent neighbour. To him, therefore, I resolved to +apply. I went up to him, and, pointing to the house in question, asked +him who lived there. + +He answered, "Mr. Matthews." + +"What is his profession,--his way of life?" + +"A gentleman. He does nothing but walk about." + +"How long has he been married?" + +"Married! He is not married as I know on. He never has been married. He +is a bachelor." + +This intelligence was unexpected. It made me pause to reflect whether I +had not mistaken the house. This, however, seemed impossible. I renewed +my questions. + +"A bachelor, say you? Are you not mistaken?" + +"No. It would be an odd thing if he was married. An old fellow, with one +foot in the grave--Comical enough for him to _git_ a _vife_!" + +"An old man? Does he live alone? What is his family?" + +"No, he does not live alone. He has a niece that lives with him. She is +married, and her husband lives there too." + +"What is his name?" + +"I don't know. I never heard it as I know on." + +"What is his trade?" + +"He's a merchant; he keeps a store somewhere or other; but I don't know +where." + +"How long has he been married?" + +"About two years. They lost a child lately. The young woman was in a +huge taking about it. They say she was quite crazy some days for the +death of the child; and she is not quite out of _the dumps_ yet. +To-be-sure, the child was a sweet little thing; but they need not make +such a rout about it. I'll war'n' they'll have enough of them before +they die." + +"What is the character of the young man? Where was he born and educated? +Has he parents or brothers?" + +My companion was incapable of answering these questions, and I left him +with little essential addition to the knowledge I already possessed. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + +After viewing various parts of the city, intruding into churches, and +diving into alleys, I returned. The rest of the day I spent chiefly in +my chamber, reflecting on my new condition; surveying my apartment, its +presses and closets; and conjecturing the causes of appearances. + +At dinner and supper I was alone. Venturing to inquire of the servant +where his master and mistress were, I was answered that they were +engaged. I did not question him as to the nature of their engagement, +though it was a fertile source of curiosity. + +Next morning, at breakfast, I again met Welbeck and the lady. The +incidents were nearly those of the preceding morning, if it were not +that the lady exhibited tokens of somewhat greater uneasiness. When she +left us, Welbeck sank into apparent meditation. I was at a loss whether +to retire or remain where I was. At last, however, I was on the point of +leaving the room, when he broke silence and began a conversation with +me. + +He put questions to me, the obvious scope of which was to know my +sentiments on moral topics. I had no motives to conceal my opinions, and +therefore delivered them with frankness. At length he introduced +allusions to my own history, and made more particular inquiries on that +head. Here I was not equally frank; yet I did not feign any thing, but +merely dealt in generals. I had acquired notions of propriety on this +head, perhaps somewhat fastidious. Minute details, respecting our own +concerns, are apt to weary all but the narrator himself. I said thus +much, and the truth of my remark was eagerly assented to. + +With some marks of hesitation and after various preliminaries, my +companion hinted that my own interest, as well as his, enjoined upon me +silence to all but himself, on the subject of my birth and early +adventures. It was not likely that, while in his service, my circle of +acquaintance would be large or my intercourse with the world frequent; +but in my communication with others he requested me to speak rather of +others than of myself. This request, he said, might appear singular to +me, but he had his reasons for making it, which it was not necessary, at +present, to disclose, though, when I should know them, I should readily +acknowledge their validity. + +I scarcely knew what answer to make. I was willing to oblige him. I was +far from expecting that any exigence would occur, making disclosure my +duty. The employment was productive of pain more than of pleasure, and +the curiosity that would uselessly seek a knowledge of my past life was +no less impertinent than the loquacity that would uselessly communicate +that knowledge. I readily promised, therefore, to adhere to his advice. + +This assurance afforded him evident satisfaction; yet it did not seem to +amount to quite as much as he wished. He repeated, in stronger terms, +the necessity there was for caution. He was far from suspecting me to +possess an impertinent and talkative disposition, or that, in my +eagerness to expatiate on my own concerns, I should overstep the limits +of politeness. But this was not enough. I was to govern myself by a +persuasion that the interests of my friend and myself would be +materially affected by my conduct. + +Perhaps I ought to have allowed these insinuations to breed suspicion in +my mind; but, conscious as I was of the benefits which I had received +from this man; prone, from my inexperience, to rely upon professions and +confide in appearances; and unaware that I could be placed in any +condition in which mere silence respecting myself could be injurious or +criminal, I made no scruple to promise compliance with his wishes. Nay, +I went further than this; I desired to be accurately informed as to what +it was proper to conceal. He answered that my silence might extend to +every thing anterior to my arrival in the city and my being incorporated +with his family. Here our conversation ended, and I retired to ruminate +on what had passed. + +I derived little satisfaction from my reflections. I began now to +perceive inconveniences that might arise from this precipitate promise. +Whatever should happen in consequence of my being immured in the +chamber, and of the loss of my clothes and of the portrait of my friend, +I had bound myself to silence. These inquietudes, however, were +transient. I trusted that these events would operate auspiciously; but +my curiosity was now awakened as to the motives which _Welbeck_ could +have for exacting from me this concealment. To act under the guidance of +another, and to wander in the dark, ignorant whither my path tended and +what effects might flow from my agency, was a new and irksome situation. + +From these thoughts I was recalled by a message from Welbeck. He gave me +a folded paper, which he requested me to carry to No.--South Fourth +Street. "Inquire," said he, "for Mrs. Wentworth, in order merely to +ascertain the house, for you need not ask to see her; merely give the +letter to the servant and retire. Excuse me for imposing this service +upon you. It is of too great moment to be trusted to a common messenger; +I usually perform it myself, but am at present otherwise engaged." + +I took the letter and set out to deliver it. This was a trifling +circumstance, yet my mind was full of reflections on the consequences +that might flow from it. I remembered the directions that were given, +but construed them in a manner different, perhaps, from Welbeck's +expectations or wishes. He had charged me to leave the billet with the +servant who happened to answer my summons; but had he not said that the +message was important, insomuch that it could not be intrusted to common +hands? He had permitted, rather than enjoined, me to dispense with +seeing the lady; and this permission I conceived to be dictated merely +by regard to my convenience. It was incumbent on me, therefore, to take +some pains to deliver the script into her own hands. + +I arrived at the house and knocked. A female servant appeared. "Her +mistress was up-stairs; she would tell her if I wished to see her," and +meanwhile invited me to enter the parlour; I did so; and the girl +retired to inform her mistress that one waited for her. I ought to +mention that my departure from the directions which I had received was, +in some degree, owing to an inquisitive temper; I was eager after +knowledge, and was disposed to profit by every opportunity to survey the +interior of dwellings and converse with their inhabitants. + +I scanned the walls, the furniture, the pictures. Over the fireplace was +a portrait in oil of a female. She was elderly and matron-like. Perhaps +she was the mistress of this habitation, and the person to whom I should +immediately be introduced. Was it a casual suggestion, or was there an +actual resemblance between the strokes of the pencil which executed this +portrait and that of Clavering? However that be, the sight of this +picture revived the memory of my friend and called up a fugitive +suspicion that this was the production of his skill. + +I was busily revolving this idea when the lady herself entered. It was +the same whose portrait I had been examining. She fixed scrutinizing and +powerful eyes upon me. She looked at the superscription of the letter +which I presented, and immediately resumed her examination of me. I was +somewhat abashed by the closeness of her observation, and gave tokens of +this state of mind which did not pass unobserved. They seemed instantly +to remind her that she behaved with too little regard to civility. She +recovered herself and began to peruse the letter. Having done this, her +attention was once more fixed upon me. She was evidently desirous of +entering into some conversation, but seemed at a loss in what manner to +begin. This situation was new to me and was productive of no small +embarrassment. I was preparing to take my leave when she spoke, though +not without considerable hesitation:-- + +"This letter is from Mr. Welbeck--you are his friend--I +presume--perhaps--a relation?" + +I was conscious that I had no claim to either of these titles, and that +I was no more than his servant. My pride would not allow me to +acknowledge this, and I merely said, "I live with him at present, +madam." + +I imagined that this answer did not perfectly satisfy her; yet she +received it with a certain air of acquiescence. She was silent for a few +minutes, and then, rising, said, "Excuse me, sir, for a few minutes. I +will write a few words to Mr. Welbeck." So saying, she withdrew. + +I returned to the contemplation of the picture. From this, however, my +attention was quickly diverted by a paper that lay on the mantel. A +single glance was sufficient to put my blood into motion. I started and +laid my hand upon the well-known packet. It was that which enclosed the +portrait of Clavering! + +I unfolded and examined it with eagerness. By what miracle came it +hither? It was found, together with my bundle, two nights before. I had +despaired of ever seeing it again, and yet here was the same portrait +enclosed in the selfsame paper! I have forborne to dwell upon the +regret, amounting to grief, with which I was affected in consequence of +the loss of this precious relic. My joy on thus speedily and +unexpectedly regaining it is not easily described. + +For a time I did not reflect that to hold it thus in my hand was not +sufficient to entitle me to repossession. I must acquaint this lady with +the history of this picture, and convince her of my ownership. But how +was this to be done? Was she connected in any way, by friendship or by +consanguinity, with that unfortunate youth? If she were, some +information as to his destiny would be anxiously sought. I did not, just +then, perceive any impropriety in imparting it. If it came into her +hands by accident, still, it will be necessary to relate the mode in +which it was lost in order to prove my title to it. + +I now heard her descending footsteps, and hastily replaced the picture +on the mantel. She entered, and, presenting me a letter, desired me to +deliver it to Mr. Welbeck. I had no pretext for deferring my departure, +but was unwilling to go without obtaining possession of the portrait. An +interval of silence and irresolution succeeded. I cast significant +glances at the spot where it lay, and at length mustered up my strength +of mind, and, pointing to the paper,--"Madam," said I, "_there_ is +something which I recognise to be mine: I know not how it came into your +possession, but so lately as the day before yesterday it was in mine. I +lost it by a strange accident, and, as I deem it of inestimable value, I +hope you will have no objection to restore it." + +During this speech the lady's countenance exhibited marks of the utmost +perturbation. "Your picture!" she exclaimed; "you lost it! How? Where? +Did you know that person? What has become of him?" + +"I knew him well," said I. "That picture was executed by himself. He +gave it to me with his own hands; and, till the moment I unfortunately +lost it, it was my dear and perpetual companion." + +"Good heaven!" she exclaimed, with increasing vehemence; "where did you +meet with him? What has become of him? Is he dead, or alive?" + +These appearances sufficiently showed me that Clavering and this lady +were connected by some ties of tenderness. I answered that he was dead; +that my mother and myself were his attendants and nurses, and that this +portrait was his legacy to me. + +This intelligence melted her into tears, and it was some time before she +recovered strength enough to resume the conversation. She then inquired, +"When and where was it that he died? How did you lose this portrait? It +was found wrapped in some coarse clothes, lying in a stall in the +market-house, on Saturday evening. Two negro women, servants of one of +my friends, strolling through the market, found it and brought it to +their mistress, who, recognising the portrait, sent it to me. To whom +did that bundle belong? Was it yours?" + +These questions reminded me of the painful predicament in which I now +stood. I had promised Welbeck to conceal from every one my former +condition; but to explain in what manner this bundle was lost, and how +my intercourse with Clavering had taken place, was to violate this +promise. It was possible, perhaps, to escape the confession of the truth +by equivocation. Falsehoods were easily invented, and might lead her far +away from my true condition; but I was wholly unused to equivocation. +Never yet had a lie polluted my lips. I was not weak enough to be +ashamed of my origin. This lady had an interest in the fate of +Clavering, and might justly claim all the information which I was able +to impart. Yet to forget the compact which I had so lately made, and an +adherence to which might possibly be in the highest degree beneficial to +me and to Welbeck; I was willing to adhere to it, provided falsehood +could be avoided. + +These thoughts rendered me silent. The pain of my embarrassment amounted +almost to agony. I felt the keenest regret at my own precipitation in +claiming the picture. Its value to me was altogether imaginary. The +affection which this lady had borne the original, whatever was the +source of that affection, would prompt her to cherish the copy, and, +however precious it was in my eyes, I should cheerfully resign it to +her. + +In the confusion of my thoughts an expedient suggested itself +sufficiently inartificial and bold. "It is true, madam, what I have +said. I saw him breathe his last. This is his only legacy. If you wish +it I willingly resign it; but this is all that I can now disclose. I am +placed in circumstances which render it improper to say more." + +These words were uttered not very distinctly, and the lady's vehemence +hindered her from noticing them. She again repeated her interrogations, +to which I returned the same answer. + +At first she expressed the utmost surprise at my conduct. From this she +descended to some degree of asperity. She made rapid allusions to the +history of Clavering. He was the son of the gentleman who owned the +house in which Welbeck resided. He was the object of immeasurable +fondness and indulgence. He had sought permission to travel, and, this +being refused by the absurd timidity of his parents, he had twice been +frustrated in attempting to embark for Europe clandestinely. They +ascribed his disappearance to a third and successful attempt of this +kind, and had exercised anxious and unwearied diligence in endeavouring +to trace his footsteps. All their efforts had failed. One motive for +their returning to Europe was the hope of discovering some traces of +him, as they entertained no doubt of his having crossed the ocean. The +vehemence of Mrs. Wentworth's curiosity as to those particulars of his +life and death may be easily conceived. My refusal only heightened this +passion. + +Finding me refractory to all her efforts, she at length dismissed me in +anger. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + +This extraordinary interview was now past. Pleasure as well as pain +attended my reflections on it. I adhered to the promise I had +improvidently given to Welbeck, but had excited displeasure, and perhaps +suspicion, in the lady. She would find it hard to account for my +silence. She would probably impute it to perverseness, or imagine it to +flow from some incident connected with the death of Clavering, +calculated to give a new edge to her curiosity. + +It was plain that some connection subsisted between her and Welbeck. +Would she drop the subject at the point which it had now attained? Would +she cease to exert herself to extract from me the desired information, +or would she not rather make Welbeck a party in the cause, and prejudice +my new friend against me? This was an evil proper, by all lawful means, +to avoid. I knew of no other expedient than to confess to him the truth +with regard to Clavering, and explain to him the dilemma in which my +adherence to my promise had involved me. + +I found him on my return home, and delivered him the letter with which I +was charged. At the sight of it, surprise, mingled with some uneasiness, +appeared in his looks. "What!" said he, in a tone of disappointment, +"you then saw the lady?" + +I now remembered his directions to leave my message at the door, and +apologized for my neglecting them by telling my reasons. His chagrin +vanished, but not without an apparent effort, and he said that all was +well; the affair was of no moment. + +After a pause of preparation, I entreated his attention to something +which I had to relate. I then detailed the history of Clavering and of +my late embarrassments. As I went on, his countenance betokened +increasing solicitude. His emotion was particularly strong when I came +to the interrogatories of Mrs. Wentworth in relation to Clavering; but +this emotion gave way to profound surprise when I related the manner in +which I had eluded her inquiries. I concluded with observing that, when +I promised forbearance on the subject of my own adventures, I had not +foreseen any exigence which would make an adherence to my promise +difficult or inconvenient; that, if his interest was promoted by my +silence, I was still willing to maintain it, and requested his +directions how to conduct myself on this occasion. + +He appeared to ponder deeply and with much perplexity on what I had +said. When he spoke there was hesitation in his manner and circuity in +his expressions, that proved him to have something in his thoughts which +he knew not how to communicate. He frequently paused; but my answers and +remarks, occasionally given, appeared to deter him from the revelation +of his purpose. Our discourse ended, for the present, by his desiring me +to persist in my present plan; I should suffer no inconveniences from +it, since it would be my own fault if an interview again took place +between the lady and me; meanwhile he should see her and effectually +silence her inquiries. + +I ruminated not superficially or briefly on this dialogue. By what means +would he silence her inquiries? He surely meant not to mislead her by +fallacious representations. Some inquietude now crept into my thoughts. +I began to form conjectures as to the nature of the scheme to which my +suppression of the truth was to be thus made subservient. It seemed as +if I were walking in the dark and might rush into snares or drop into +pits before I was aware of my danger. Each moment accumulated my doubts, +and I cherished a secret foreboding that the event would prove my new +situation to be far less fortunate than I had, at first, fondly +believed. The question now occurred, with painful repetition, who and +what was Welbeck? What was his relation to this foreign lady? What was +the service for which I was to be employed? + +I could not be contented without a solution of these mysteries. Why +should I not lay my soul open before my new friend? Considering my +situation, would he regard my fears and my surmises as criminal? I felt +that they originated in laudable habits and views. My peace of mind +depended on the favourable verdict which conscience should pass on my +proceedings. I saw the emptiness of fame and luxury, when put in the +balance against the recompense of virtue. Never would I purchase the +blandishments of adulation and the glare of opulence at the price of my +honesty. + +Amidst these reflections the dinner-hour arrived. The lady and Welbeck +were present. A new train of sentiments now occupied my mind. I regarded +them both with inquisitive eyes. I cannot well account for the +revolution which had taken place in my mind. Perhaps it was a proof of +the capriciousness of my temper, or it was merely the fruit of my +profound ignorance of life and manners. Whencesoever it arose, certain +it is that I contemplated the scene before me with altered eyes. Its +order and pomp was no longer the parent of tranquillity and awe. My wild +reveries of inheriting this splendour and appropriating the affections +of this nymph, I now regarded as lunatic hope and childish folly. +Education and nature had qualified me for a different scene. This might +be the mask of misery and the structure of vice. + +My companions as well as myself were silent during the meal. The lady +retired as soon as it was finished. My inexplicable melancholy +increased. It did not pass unnoticed by Welbeck, who inquired, with an +air of kindness, into the cause of my visible dejection. I am almost +ashamed to relate to what extremes my folly transported me. Instead of +answering him, I was weak enough to shed tears. + +This excited afresh his surprise and his sympathy. He renewed his +inquiries; my heart was full, but how to disburden it I knew not. At +length, with some difficulty, I expressed my wishes to leave his house +and return into the country. + +What, he asked, had occurred to suggest this new plan? What motive could +incite me to bury myself in rustic obscurity? How did I purpose to +dispose of myself? Had some new friend sprung up more able or more +willing to benefit me than he had been? + +"No," I answered, "I have no relation who would own me, or friend who +would protect. If I went into the country it would be to the toilsome +occupations of a day-labourer; but even that was better than my present +situation." + +This opinion, he observed, must be newly formed. What was there irksome +or offensive in my present mode of life? + +That this man condescended to expostulate with me; to dissuade me from +my new plan; and to enumerate the benefits which he was willing to +confer, penetrated my heart with gratitude. I could not but acknowledge +that leisure and literature, copious and elegant accommodation, were +valuable for their own sake; that all the delights of sensation and +refinements of intelligence were comprised within my present sphere, and +would be nearly wanting in that to which I was going. I felt temporary +compunction for my folly, and determined to adopt a different +deportment. I could not prevail upon myself to unfold the true cause of +my dejection, and permitted him therefore to ascribe it to a kind of +homesickness; to inexperience; and to that ignorance which, on being +ushered into a new scene, is oppressed with a sensation of forlornness. +He remarked that these chimeras would vanish before the influence of +time, and company, and occupation. On the next week he would furnish me +with employment; meanwhile he would introduce me into company, where +intelligence and vivacity would combine to dispel my glooms. + +As soon as we separated, my disquietudes returned. I contended with them +in vain, and finally resolved to abandon my present situation. When and +how this purpose was to be effected I knew not. That was to be the theme +of future deliberation. + +Evening having arrived, Welbeck proposed to me to accompany me on a +visit to one of his friends. I cheerfully accepted the invitation, and +went with him to your friend Mr. Wortley's. A numerous party was +assembled, chiefly of the female sex. I was introduced by Welbeck by +the title of _a young friend of his_. Notwithstanding my embarrassment, +I did not fail to attend to what passed on this occasion. I remarked +that the utmost deference was paid to my companion, on whom his entrance +into this company appeared to operate like magic. His eyes sparkled; his +features expanded into a benign serenity; and his wonted reserve gave +place to a torrent-like and overflowing elocution. + +I marked this change in his deportment with the utmost astonishment. So +great was it, that I could hardly persuade myself that it was the same +person. A mind thus susceptible of new impressions must be, I conceived, +of a wonderful texture. Nothing was further from my expectations than +that this vivacity was mere dissimulation and would take its leave of +him when he left the company; yet this I found to be the case. The door +was no sooner closed after him than his accustomed solemnity returned. +He spake little, and that little was delivered with emphatical and +monosyllabic brevity. + +We returned home at a late hour, and I immediately retired to my +chamber, not so much from the desire of repose as in order to enjoy and +pursue my own reflections without interruption. + +The condition of my mind was considerably remote from happiness. I was +placed in a scene that furnished fuel to my curiosity. This passion is a +source of pleasure, provided its gratification be practicable. I had no +reason, in my present circumstances, to despair of knowledge; yet +suspicion and anxiety beset me. I thought upon the delay and toil which +the removal of my ignorance would cost, and reaped only pain and fear +from the reflection. + +The air was remarkably sultry. Lifted sashes and lofty ceilings were +insufficient to attemper it. The perturbation of my thoughts affected my +body, and the heat which oppressed me was aggravated, by my +restlessness, almost into fever. Some hours were thus painfully past, +when I recollected that the bath, erected in the court below, contained +a sufficient antidote to the scorching influence of the atmosphere. + +I rose, and descended the stairs softly, that I might not alarm Welbeck +and the lady, who occupied the two rooms on the second floor. I +proceeded to the bath, and, filling the reservoir with water, speedily +dissipated the heat that incommoded me. Of all species of sensual +gratification, that was the most delicious; and I continued for a long +time laving my limbs and moistening my hair. In the midst of this +amusement, I noticed the approach of day, and immediately saw the +propriety of returning to my chamber. I returned with the same caution +which I had used in descending; my feet were bare, so that it was easy +to proceed unattended by the smallest signal of my progress. + +I had reached the carpeted staircase, and was slowly ascending, when I +heard, within the chamber that was occupied by the lady, a noise, as of +some one moving. Though not conscious of having acted improperly, yet I +felt reluctance to be seen. There was no reason to suppose that this +sound was connected with the detection of me in this situation; yet I +acted as if this reason existed, and made haste to pass the door and +gain the second flight of steps. + +I was unable to accomplish my design, when the chamber door slowly +opened, and Welbeck, with a light in his hand, came out. I was abashed +and disconcerted at this interview. He started at seeing me; but, +discovering in an instant who it was, his face assumed an expression in +which shame and anger were powerfully blended. He seemed on the point of +opening his mouth to rebuke me; but, suddenly checking himself, he said, +in a tone of mildness, "How is this? Whence come you?" + +His emotion seemed to communicate itself, with an electrical rapidity, +to my heart. My tongue faltered while I made some answer. I said, "I had +been seeking relief from the heat of the weather, in the bath." He heard +my explanation in silence; and, after a moment's pause, passed into his +own room, and shut himself in. I hastened to my chamber. + +A different observer might have found in these circumstances no food for +his suspicion or his wonder. To me, however, they suggested vague and +tumultuous ideas. + +As I strode across the room I repeated, "This woman is his daughter. +What proof have I of that? He once asserted it; and has frequently +uttered allusions and hints from which no other inference could be +drawn. The chamber from which he came, in an hour devoted to sleep, was +hers. For what end could a visit like this be paid? A parent may visit +his child at all seasons, without a crime. On seeing me, methought his +features indicated more than surprise. A keen interpreter would be apt +to suspect a consciousness of wrong. What if this woman be not his +child! How shall their relationship be ascertained?" + +I was summoned at the customary hour to breakfast. My mind was full of +ideas connected with this incident. I was not endowed with sufficient +firmness to propose the cool and systematic observation of this man's +deportment. I felt as if the state of my mind could not but be evident +to him; and experienced in myself all the confusion which this discovery +was calculated to produce in him. I would have willingly excused myself +from meeting him; but that was impossible. + +At breakfast, after the usual salutations, nothing was said. For a time +I scarcely lifted my eyes from the table. Stealing a glance at Welbeck, +I discovered in his features nothing but his wonted gravity. He appeared +occupied with thoughts that had no relation to last night's adventure. +This encouraged me; and I gradually recovered my composure. Their +inattention to me allowed me occasionally to throw scrutinizing and +comparing glances at the face of each. + +The relationship of parent and child is commonly discovered in the +visage; but the child may resemble either of its parents, yet have no +feature in common with both. Here outlines, surfaces, and hues were in +absolute contrariety. That kindred subsisted between them was possible, +notwithstanding this dissimilitude; but this circumstance contributed to +envenom my suspicions. + +Breakfast being finished, Welbeck cast an eye of invitation to the +piano-forte. The lady rose to comply with his request. My eye chanced +to be, at that moment, fixed on her. In stepping to the instrument, some +motion or appearance awakened a thought in my mind which affected my +feelings like the shock of an earthquake. + +I have too slight acquaintance with the history of the passions to truly +explain the emotion which now throbbed in my veins. I had been a +stranger to what is called love. From subsequent reflection, I have +contracted a suspicion that the sentiment with which I regarded this +lady was not untinctured from this source, and that hence arose the +turbulence of my feelings on observing what I construed into marks of +pregnancy. The evidence afforded me was slight; yet it exercised an +absolute sway over my belief. + +It was well that this suspicion had not been sooner excited. Now +civility did not require my stay in the apartment, and nothing but +flight could conceal the state of my mind. I hastened, therefore, to a +distance, and shrouded myself in the friendly secrecy of my own chamber. + +The constitution of my mind is doubtless singular and perverse; yet that +opinion, perhaps, is the fruit of my ignorance. It may by no means be +uncommon for men to _fashion_ their conclusions in opposition to +evidence and _probability_, and so as to feed their malice and subvert +their happiness. Thus it was, in an eminent degree, in my case. The +simple fact was connected, in my mind, with a train of the most hateful +consequences. The depravity of Welbeck was inferred from it. The charms +of this angelic woman were tarnished and withered. I had formerly +surveyed her as a precious and perfect monument, but now it was a scene +of ruin and blast. + +This had been a source of sufficient anguish; but this was not all. I +recollected that the claims of a parent had been urged. Will you believe +that these claims were now admitted, and that they heightened the +iniquity of Welbeck into the blackest and most stupendous of all crimes? +These ideas were necessarily transient. Conclusions more conformable to +appearances succeeded. This lady might have been lately reduced to +widowhood. The recent loss of a beloved companion would sufficiently +account for her dejection, and make her present situation compatible +with duty. + +By this new train of ideas I was somewhat comforted. I saw the folly of +precipitate inferences and the injustice of my atrocious imputations, +and acquired some degree of patience in my present state of uncertainty. +My heart was lightened of its wonted burden, and I laboured to invent +some harmless explication of the scene that I had witnessed the +preceding night. + +At dinner Welbeck appeared as usual, but not the lady. I ascribed her +absence to some casual indisposition, and ventured to inquire into the +state of her health. My companion said she was well, but that she had +left the city for a month or two, finding the heat of summer +inconvenient where she was. This was no unplausible reason for +retirement. A candid mind would have acquiesced in this representation, +and found in it nothing inconsistent with a supposition respecting the +cause of appearances favourable to her character; but otherwise was I +affected. The uneasiness which had flown for a moment returned, and I +sunk into gloomy silence. + +From this I was roused by my patron, who requested me to deliver a +billet, which he put into my hand, at the counting-house of Mr. +Thetford, and to bring him an answer. This message was speedily +performed. I entered a large building by the river-side. A spacious +apartment presented itself, well furnished with pipes and hogsheads. In +one corner was a smaller room, in which a gentleman was busy at writing. +I advanced to the door of the room, but was there met by a young person, +who received my paper and delivered it to him within. I stood still at +the door; but was near enough to overhear what would pass between them. + +The letter was laid upon the desk, and presently he that sat at it +lifted his eyes and glanced at the superscription. He scarcely spoke +above a whisper; but his words, nevertheless, were clearly +distinguishable. I did not call to mind the sound of his voice, but his +words called up a train of recollections. + +"Lo!" said he, carelessly, "this from the _Nabob_!" + +An incident so slight as this was sufficient to open a spacious scene +of meditation. This little word, half whispered in a thoughtless mood, +was a key to unlock an extensive cabinet of secrets. Thetford was +probably indifferent whether his exclamation were overheard. Little did +he think on the inferences which would be built upon it. + +"The Nabob!" By this appellation had some one been denoted in the +chamber dialogue of which I had been an unsuspected auditor. The man who +pretended poverty, and yet gave proofs of inordinate wealth; whom it was +pardonable to defraud of thirty thousand dollars; first, because the +loss of that sum would be trivial to one opulent as he; and, secondly, +because he was imagined to have acquired this opulence by other than +honest methods. Instead of forthwith returning home, I wandered into the +fields, to indulge myself in the new thoughts which were produced by +this occurrence. + +I entertained no doubt that the person alluded to was my patron. No new +light was thrown upon his character; unless something were deducible +from the charge vaguely made, that his wealth was the fruit of illicit +practices. He was opulent, and the sources of his wealth were unknown, +if not to the rest of the community, at least to Thetford. But here had +a plot been laid. The fortune of Thetford's brother was to rise from the +success of artifices of which the credulity of Welbeck was to be the +victim. To detect and to counterwork this plot was obviously my duty. My +interference might now indeed be too late to be useful; but this was at +least to be ascertained by experiment. + +How should my intention be effected? I had hitherto concealed from +Welbeck my adventures at Thetford's house. These it was now necessary to +disclose, and to mention the recent occurrence. My deductions, in +consequence of my ignorance, might be erroneous; but of their truth his +knowledge of his own affairs would enable him to judge. It was possible +that Thetford and he whose chamber conversation I had overheard were +different persons. I endeavoured in vain to ascertain their identity by +a comparison of their voices. The words lately heard, my remembrance +did not enable me certainly to pronounce to be uttered by the same +organs. + +This uncertainty was of little moment. It sufficed that Welbeck was +designated by this appellation, and that therefore he was proved to be +the subject of some fraudulent proceeding. The information that I +possessed it was my duty to communicate as expeditiously as possible. I +was resolved to employ the first opportunity that offered for this end. + +My meditations had been ardently pursued, and, when I recalled my +attention, I found myself bewildered among fields and fences. It was +late before I extricated myself from unknown paths, and reached home. + +I entered the parlour; but Welbeck was not there. A table, with +tea-equipage for one person, was set; from which I inferred that Welbeck +was engaged abroad. This belief was confirmed by the report of the +servant. He could not inform me where his master was, but merely that he +should not take tea at home. This incident was a source of vexation and +impatience. I knew not but that delay would be of the utmost moment to +the safety of my friend. Wholly unacquainted as I was with the nature of +his contracts with Thetford, I could not decide whether a single hour +would not avail to obviate the evils that threatened him. Had I known +whither to trace his footsteps, I should certainly have sought an +immediate interview; but, as it was, I was obliged to wait, with what +patience I could collect, for his return to his own house. + +I waited hour after hour in vain. The sun declined, and the shades of +evening descended; but Welbeck was still at a distance. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + + +Welbeck did not return, though hour succeeded hour till the clock struck +ten. I inquired of the servants, who informed me that their master was +not accustomed to stay out so late. I seated myself at a table, in a +parlour, on which there stood a light, and listened for the signal of +his coming, either by the sound of steps on the pavement without or by a +peal from the bell. The silence was uninterrupted and profound, and each +minute added to my sum of impatience and anxiety. + +To relieve myself from the heat of the weather, which was aggravated by +the condition of my thoughts, as well as to beguile this tormenting +interval, it occurred to me to betake myself to the bath. I left the +candle where it stood, and imagined that even in the bath I should hear +the sound of the bell which would be rung upon his arrival at the door. + +No such signal occurred, and, after taking this refreshment, I prepared +to return to my post. The parlour was still unoccupied, but this was not +all; the candle I had left upon the table was gone. This was an +inexplicable circumstance. On my promise to wait for their master, the +servants had retired to bed. No signal of any one's entrance had been +given. The street door was locked, and the key hung at its customary +place upon the wall. What was I to think? It was obvious to suppose that +the candle had been removed by a domestic; but their footsteps could not +be traced, and I was not sufficiently acquainted with the house to find +the way, especially immersed in darkness, to their chamber. One measure, +however, it was evidently proper to take, which was to supply myself, +anew, with a light. This was instantly performed; but what was next to +be done? + +I was weary of the perplexities in which I was embroiled. I saw no +avenue to escape from them but that which led me to the bosom of nature +and to my ancient occupations. For a moment I was tempted to resume my +rustic garb, and, on that very hour, to desert this habitation. One +thing only detained me; the desire to apprize my patron of the treachery +of Thetford. For this end I was anxious to obtain an interview; but now +I reflected that this information could by other means be imparted. Was +it not sufficient to write him briefly these particulars, and leave him +to profit by the knowledge? Thus I might, likewise, acquaint him with my +motives for thus abruptly and unseasonably deserting his service. + +To the execution of this scheme pen and paper were necessary. The +business of writing was performed in the chamber on the third story. I +had been hitherto denied access to this room. In it was a show of papers +and books. Here it was that the task, for which I had been retained, was +to be performed; but I was to enter it and leave it only in company with +Welbeck. For what reasons, I asked, was this procedure to be adopted? + +The influence of prohibitions and an appearance of disguise in awakening +curiosity is well known. My mind fastened upon the idea of this room +with an unusual degree of intenseness. I had seen it but for a moment. +Many of Welbeck's hours were spent in it. It was not to be inferred that +they were consumed in idleness: what then was the nature of his +employment over which a veil of such impenetrable secrecy was cast? + +Will you wonder that the design of entering this recess was insensibly +formed? Possibly it was locked, but its accessibleness was likewise +possible. I meant not the commission of any crime. My principal purpose +was to procure the implements of writing, which were elsewhere not to be +found. I should neither unseal papers nor open drawers. I would merely +take a survey of the volumes and attend to the objects that +spontaneously presented themselves to my view. In this there surely was +nothing criminal or blameworthy. Meanwhile I was not unmindful of the +sudden disappearance of the candle. This incident filled my bosom with +the inquietudes of fear and the perturbations of wonder. + +Once more I paused to catch any sound that might arise from without. All +was still. I seized the candle and prepared to mount the stairs. I had +not reached the first landing when I called to mind my midnight meeting +with Welbeck at the door of his daughter's chamber. The chamber was now +desolate; perhaps it was accessible; if so, no injury was done by +entering it. My curiosity was strong, but it pictured to itself no +precise object. Three steps would bear me to the door. The trial, +whether it was fastened, might be made in a moment; and I readily +imagined that something might be found within to reward the trouble of +examination. The door yielded to my hand, and I entered. + +No remarkable object was discoverable. The apartment was supplied with +the usual furniture. I bent my steps towards a table over which a mirror +was suspended. My glances, which roved with swiftness from one object to +another, shortly lighted on a miniature portrait that hung near. I +scrutinized it with eagerness. It was impossible to overlook its +resemblance to my own visage. This was so great that for a moment I +imagined myself to have been the original from which it had been drawn. +This flattering conception yielded place to a belief merely of +similitude between me and the genuine original. + +The thoughts which this opinion was fitted to produce were suspended by +a new object. A small volume, that had, apparently, been much used, lay +upon the toilet. I opened it, and found it to contain some of the Dramas +of Apostolo Zeno. I turned over the leaves; a written paper saluted my +sight. A single glance informed me that it was English. For the present +I was insensible to all motives that would command me to forbear. I +seized the paper with an intention to peruse it. + +At that moment a stunning report was heard. It was loud enough to shake +the walls of the apartment, and abrupt enough to throw me into tremors. +I dropped the book and yielded for a moment to confusion and surprise. +From what quarter it came, I was unable accurately to determine; but +there could be no doubt, from its loudness, that it was near, and even +in the house. It was no less manifest that the sound arose from the +discharge of a pistol. Some hand must have drawn the trigger. I +recollected the disappearance of the candle from the room below. +Instantly a supposition darted into my mind which made my hair rise and +my teeth chatter. + +"This," I said, "is the deed of Welbeck. He entered while I was absent +from the room; he hied to his chamber; and, prompted by some unknown +instigation, has inflicted on himself death!" This idea had a tendency +to palsy my limbs and my thoughts. Some time passed in painful and +tumultuous fluctuation. My aversion to this catastrophe, rather than a +belief of being, by that means, able to prevent or repair the evil, +induced me to attempt to enter his chamber. It was possible that my +conjectures were erroneous. + +The door of his room was locked. I knocked; I demanded entrance in a low +voice; I put my eye and my ear to the keyhole and the crevices; nothing +could be heard or seen. It was unavoidable to conclude that no one was +within; yet the effluvia of gunpowder was perceptible. + +Perhaps the room above had been the scene of this catastrophe. I +ascended the second flight of stairs. I approached the door. No sound +could be caught by my most vigilant attention. I put out the light that +I carried, and was then able to perceive that there was light within the +room. I scarcely knew how to act. For some minutes I paused at the door. +I spoke, and requested permission to enter. My words were succeeded by a +death-like stillness. At length I ventured softly to withdraw the bolt, +to open and to advance within the room. Nothing could exceed the horror +of my expectation; yet I was startled by the scene that I beheld. + +In a chair, whose back was placed against the front wall, sat Welbeck. +My entrance alarmed him not, nor roused him from the stupor into which +he was plunged. He rested his hands upon his knees, and his eyes were +riveted to something that lay, at the distance of a few feet before +him, on the floor. A second glance was sufficient to inform me of what +nature this object was. It was the body of a man, bleeding, ghastly, and +still exhibiting the marks of convulsion and agony! + +I shall omit to describe the shock which a spectacle like this +communicated to my unpractised senses. I was nearly as panic-struck and +powerless as Welbeck himself. I gazed, without power of speech, at one +time, at Welbeck; then I fixed terrified eyes on the distorted features +of the dead. At length, Welbeck, recovering from his reverie, looked up, +as if to see who it was that had entered. No surprise, no alarm, was +betrayed by him on seeing me. He manifested no desire or intention to +interrupt the fearful silence. + +My thoughts wandered in confusion and terror. The first impulse was to +fly from the scene; but I could not be long insensible to the exigences +of the moment. I saw that affairs must not be suffered to remain in +their present situation. The insensibility or despair of Welbeck +required consolation and succour. How to communicate my thoughts, or +offer my assistance, I knew not. What led to this murderous catastrophe; +who it was whose breathless corpse was before me; what concern Welbeck +had in producing his death; were as yet unknown. + +At length he rose from his seat, and strode at first with faltering, and +then with more steadfast steps, across the floor. This motion seemed to +put him in possession of himself. He seemed now, for the first time, to +recognise my presence. He turned to me, and said, in a tone of +severity,-- + +"How now? What brings you here?" + +This rebuke was unexpected. I stammered out, in reply, that the report +of the pistol had alarmed me, and that I came to discover the cause of +it. + +He noticed not my answer, but resumed his perturbed steps, and his +anxious but abstracted looks. Suddenly he checked himself, and, glancing +a furious eye at the corpse, he muttered, "Yes, the die is cast. This +worthless and miserable scene shall last no longer. I will at once get +rid of life and all its humiliations." + +Here succeeded a new pause. The course of his thoughts seemed now to +become once more tranquil. Sadness, rather than fury, overspread his +features; and his accent, when he spoke to me, was not faltering, but +solemn. + +"Mervyn," said he, "you comprehend not this scene. Your youth and +inexperience make you a stranger to a deceitful and flagitious world. +You know me not. It is time that this ignorance should vanish. The +knowledge of me and of my actions may be of use to you. It may teach you +to avoid the shoals on which my virtue and my peace have been wrecked; +but to the rest of mankind it can be of no use. The ruin of my fame is, +perhaps, irretrievable; but the height of my iniquity need not be known. +I perceive in you a rectitude and firmness worthy to be trusted; promise +me, therefore, that not a syllable of what I tell you shall ever pass +your lips." + +I had lately experienced the inconvenience of a promise; but I was now +confused, embarrassed, ardently inquisitive as to the nature of this +scene, and unapprized of the motives that might afterwards occur, +persuading or compelling me to disclosure. The promise which he exacted +was given. He resumed:-- + +"I have detained you in my service, partly for your own benefit, but +chiefly for mine. I intended to inflict upon you injury and to do you +good. Neither of these ends can I now accomplish, unless the lessons +which my example may inculcate shall inspire you with fortitude and arm +you with caution. + +"What it was that made me thus, I know not. I am not destitute of +understanding. My thirst of knowledge, though irregular, is ardent. I +can talk and can feel as virtue and justice prescribe; yet the tenor of +my actions has been uniform. One tissue of iniquity and folly has been +my life; while my thoughts have been familiar with enlightened and +disinterested principles. Scorn and detestation I have heaped upon +myself. Yesterday is remembered with remorse. To-morrow is contemplated +with anguish and fear; yet every day is productive of the same crimes +and of the same follies. + +"I was left, by the insolvency of my father, (a trader of Liverpool,) +without any means of support but such as labour should afford me. +Whatever could generate pride, and the love of independence, was my +portion. Whatever can incite to diligence was the growth of my +condition; yet my indolence was a cureless disease; and there were no +arts too sordid for me to practise. + +"I was content to live on the bounty of a kinsman. His family was +numerous, and his revenue small. He forbore to upbraid me, or even to +insinuate the propriety of providing for myself; but he empowered me to +pursue any liberal or mechanical profession which might suit my taste. I +was insensible to every generous motive. I laboured to forget my +dependent and disgraceful condition, because the remembrance was a +source of anguish, without being able to inspire me with a steady +resolution to change it. + +"I contracted an acquaintance with a woman who was unchaste, perverse, +and malignant. Me, however, she found it no difficult task to deceive. +My uncle remonstrated against the union. He took infinite pains to +unveil my error, and to convince me that wedlock was improper for one +destitute, as I was, of the means of support, even if the object of my +choice were personally unexceptionable. + +"His representations were listened to with anger. That he thwarted my +will in this respect, even by affectionate expostulation, cancelled all +that debt of gratitude which I owed to him. I rewarded him for all his +kindness by invective and disdain, and hastened to complete my +ill-omened marriage. I had deceived the woman's father by assertions of +possessing secret resources. To gratify my passion, I descended to +dissimulation and falsehood. He admitted me into his family, as the +husband of his child; but the character of my wife and the fallacy of my +assertions were quickly discovered. He denied me accommodation under his +roof, and I was turned forth to the world to endure the penalty of my +rashness and my indolence. + +"Temptation would have moulded me into any villanous shape. My virtuous +theories and comprehensive erudition would not have saved me from the +basest of crimes. Luckily for me, I was, for the present, exempted from +temptation. I had formed an acquaintance with a young American captain. +On being partially informed of my situation, he invited me to embark +with him for his own country. My passage was gratuitous. I arrived, in a +short time, at Charleston, which was the place of his abode. + +"He introduced me to his family, every member of which was, like +himself, imbued with affection and benevolence. I was treated like their +son and brother. I was hospitably entertained until I should be able to +select some path of lucrative industry. Such was my incurable depravity, +that I made no haste to select my pursuit. An interval of inoccupation +succeeded, which I applied to the worst purposes. + +"My friend had a sister, who was married, but during the absence of her +husband resided with her family. Hence originated our acquaintance. The +purest of human hearts and the most vigorous understanding were hers. +She idolized her husband, who well deserved to be the object of her +adoration. Her affection for him, and her general principles, appeared +to be confirmed beyond the power to be shaken. I sought her intercourse +without illicit views; I delighted in the effusions of her candour and +the flashes of her intelligence; I conformed, by a kind of instinctive +hypocrisy, to her views; I spoke and felt from the influence of +immediate and momentary conviction. She imagined she had found in me a +friend worthy to partake in all her sympathies and forward all her +wishes. We were mutually deceived. She was the victim of self-delusion; +but I must charge myself with practising deceit both upon myself and +her. + +"I reflect with astonishment and horror on the steps which led to her +degradation and to my calamity. In the high career of passion all +consequences were overlooked. She was the dupe of the most audacious +sophistry and the grossest delusion. I was the slave of sensual impulses +and voluntary blindness. The effect may be easily conceived. Not till +symptoms of pregnancy began to appear were our eyes opened to the ruin +which impended over us. + +"Then I began to revolve the consequences, which the mist of passion had +hitherto concealed. I was tormented by the pangs of remorse, and pursued +by the phantom of ingratitude. To complete my despair, this unfortunate +lady was apprized of my marriage with another woman; a circumstance +which I had anxiously concealed from her. She fled from her father's +house at a time when her husband and brother were hourly expected. What +became of her I knew not. She left behind her a letter to her father, in +which the melancholy truth was told. + +"Shame and remorse had no power over my life. To elude the storm of +invective and upbraiding, to quiet the uproar of my mind, I did not +betake myself to voluntary death. My pusillanimity still clung to this +wretched existence. I abruptly retired from the scene, and, repairing to +the port, embarked in the first vessel which appeared. The ship chanced +to belong to Wilmington, in Delaware, and here I sought out an obscure +and cheap abode. + +"I possessed no means of subsistence. I was unknown to my neighbours, +and desired to remain unknown. I was unqualified for manual labour by +all the habits of my life; but there was no choice between penury and +diligence,--between honest labour and criminal inactivity. I mused +incessantly on the forlornness of my condition. Hour after hour passed, +and the horrors of want began to encompass me. I sought with eagerness +for an avenue by which I might escape from it. The perverseness of my +nature led me on from one guilty thought to another. I took refuge in my +customary sophistries, and reconciled myself at length to a scheme +of--_forgery_!" + + + + +CHAPTER X. + + +"Having ascertained my purpose, it was requisite to search out the means +by which I might effect it. These were not clearly or readily suggested. +The more I contemplated my project, the more numerous and arduous its +difficulties appeared. I had no associates in my undertaking. A due +regard to my safety, and the unextinguished sense of honour, deterred me +from seeking auxiliaries and co-agents. The esteem of mankind was the +spring of all my activity, the parent of all my virtue and all my vice. +To preserve this, it was necessary that my guilty projects should have +neither witness nor partaker. + +"I quickly discovered that to execute this scheme demanded time, +application, and money, none of which my present situation would permit +me to devote to it. At first it appeared that an attainable degree of +skill and circumspection would enable me to arrive, by means of +counterfeit bills, to the pinnacle of affluence and honour. My error was +detected by a closer scrutiny, and I finally saw nothing in this path +but enormous perils and insurmountable impediments. + +"Yet what alternative was offered me? To maintain myself by the labour +of my hands, to perform any toilsome or prescribed task, was +incompatible with my nature. My habits debarred me from country +occupations. My pride regarded as vile and ignominious drudgery any +employment which the town could afford. Meanwhile, my wants were as +urgent as ever, and my funds were exhausted. + +"There are few, perhaps, whose external situation resembled mine, who +would have found in it any thing but incitements to industry and +invention. A thousand methods of subsistence, honest but laborious, +were at my command, but to these I entertained an irreconcilable +aversion. Ease and the respect attendant upon opulence I was willing to +purchase at the price of ever-wakeful suspicion and eternal remorse; +but, even at this price, the purchase was impossible. + +"The desperateness of my condition became hourly more apparent. The +further I extended my view, the darker grew the clouds which hung over +futurity. Anguish and infamy appeared to be the inseparable conditions +of my existence. There was one mode of evading the evils that impended. +To free myself from self-upbraiding and to shun the persecutions of my +fortune was possible only by shaking off life itself. + +"One evening, as I traversed the bank of the creek, these dismal +meditations were uncommonly intense. They at length terminated in a +resolution to throw myself into the stream. The first impulse was to +rush instantly to my death; but the remembrance of papers, lying at my +lodgings, which might unfold more than I desired to the curiosity of +survivors, induced me to postpone this catastrophe till the next +morning. + +"My purpose being formed, I found my heart lightened of its usual +weight. By you it will be thought strange, but it is nevertheless true, +that I derived from this new prospect not only tranquillity but +cheerfulness. I hastened home. As soon as I entered, my landlord +informed me that a person had been searching for me in my absence. This +was an unexampled incident, and foreboded me no good. I was strongly +persuaded that my visitant had been led hither not by friendly but +hostile purposes. This persuasion was confirmed by the description of +the stranger's guise and demeanour given by my landlord. My fears +instantly recognised the image of Watson, the man by whom I had been so +eminently benefited, and whose kindness I had compensated by the ruin of +his sister and the confusion of his family. + +"An interview with this man was less to be endured than to look upon the +face of an avenging deity. I was determined to avoid this interview, +and, for this end, to execute my fatal purpose within the hour. My +papers were collected with a tremulous hand, and consigned to the +flames. I then bade my landlord inform all visitants that I should not +return till the next day, and once more hastened towards the river. + +"My way led past the inn where one of the stages from Baltimore was +accustomed to stop. I was not unaware that Watson had possibly been +brought in the coach which had recently arrived, and which now stood +before the door of the inn. The danger of my being descried or +encountered by him as I passed did not fail to occur. This was to be +eluded by deviating from the main street. + +"Scarcely had I turned a corner for this purpose when I was accosted by +a young man whom I knew to be an inhabitant of the town, but with whom I +had hitherto had no intercourse but what consisted in a transient +salutation. He apologized for the liberty of addressing me, and, at the +same time, inquired if I understood the French language. + +"Being answered in the affirmative, he proceeded to tell me that in the +stage, just arrived, had come a passenger, a youth who appeared to be +French, who was wholly unacquainted with our language, and who had been +seized with a violent disease. + +"My informant had felt compassion for the forlorn condition of the +stranger, and had just been seeking me at my lodgings, in hope that my +knowledge of French would enable me to converse with the sick man, and +obtain from him a knowledge of his situation and views. + +"The apprehensions I had precipitately formed were thus removed, and I +readily consented to perform this service. The youth was, indeed, in a +deplorable condition. Besides the pains of his disease, he was +overpowered by dejection. The innkeeper was extremely anxious for the +removal of his guest. He was by no means willing to sustain the trouble +and expense of a sick or a dying man, for which it was scarcely probable +that he should ever be reimbursed. The traveller had no baggage, and his +dress betokened the pressure of many wants. + +"My compassion for this stranger was powerfully awakened. I was in +possession of a suitable apartment, for which I had no power to pay the +rent that was accruing; but my inability in this respect was unknown, +and I might enjoy my lodgings unmolested for some weeks. The fate of +this youth would be speedily decided, and I should be left at liberty to +execute my first intentions before my embarrassments should be visibly +increased. + +"After a moment's pause, I conducted the stranger to my home, placed him +in my own bed, and became his nurse. His malady was such as is known in +the tropical islands by the name of the yellow or malignant fever, and +the physician who was called speedily pronounced his case desperate. + +"It was my duty to warn him of the death that was hastening, and to +promise the fulfilment of any of his wishes not inconsistent with my +present situation. He received my intelligence with fortitude, and +appeared anxious to communicate some information respecting his own +state. His pangs and his weakness scarcely allowed him to be +intelligible. From his feeble efforts and broken narrative I collected +thus much concerning his family and fortune. + +"His father's name was Vincentio Lodi. From a merchant at Leghorn, he +had changed himself into a planter in the island of Guadaloupe. His son +had been sent, at an early age, for the benefits of education, to +Europe. The young Vincentio was, at length, informed by his father, +that, being weary of his present mode of existence, he had determined to +sell his property and transport himself to the United States. The son +was directed to hasten home, that he might embark, with his father, on +this voyage. + +"The summons was cheerfully obeyed. The youth, on his arrival at the +island, found preparation making for the funeral of his father. It +appeared that the elder Lodi had flattered one of his slaves with the +prospect of his freedom, but had, nevertheless, included this slave in +the sale that he had made of his estate. Actuated by revenge, the slave +assassinated Lodi in the open street, and resigned himself, without a +struggle, to the punishment which the law had provided for such a deed. + +"The property had been recently transferred, and the price was now +presented to young Vincentio by the purchaser. He was by no means +inclined to adopt his father's project, and was impatient to return with +his inheritance to France. Before this could be done, the conduct of his +father had rendered a voyage to the Continent indispensable. + +"Lodi had a daughter, whom, a few weeks previous to his death, he had +intrusted to an American captain for whom he had contracted a +friendship. The vessel was bound to Philadelphia; but the conduct she +was to pursue, and the abode she was to select, on her arrival, were +known only to the father, whose untimely death involved the son in +considerable uncertainty with regard to his sister's fate. His anxiety +on this account induced him to seize the first conveyance that offered. +In a short time he landed at Baltimore. + +"As soon as he recovered from the fatigues of his voyage, he prepared to +go to Philadelphia. Thither his baggage was immediately sent under the +protection of a passenger and countryman. His money consisted in +Portuguese gold, which, in pursuance of advice, he had changed into +bank-notes. He besought me, in pathetic terms, to search out his sister, +whose youth and poverty, and ignorance of the language and manners of +the country, might expose her to innumerable hardships. At the same +time, he put a pocket-book and small volume into my hand, indicating, by +his countenance and gestures, his desire that I would deliver them to +his sister. + +"His obsequies being decently performed, I had leisure to reflect upon +the change in my condition which this incident had produced. In the +pocket-book were found bills to the amount of twenty thousand dollars. +The volume proved to be a manuscript, written by the elder Lodi in +Italian, and contained memoirs of the ducal house of Visconti, from whom +the writer believed himself to have lineally descended. + +"Thus had I arrived, by an avenue so much beyond my foresight, at the +possession of wealth. The evil which impelled me to the brink of +suicide, and which was the source, though not of all, yet of the larger +portion, of my anguish, was now removed. What claims to honour or to +ease were consequent on riches were, by an extraordinary fortune, now +conferred upon me. + +"Such, for a time, were my new-born but transitory raptures. I forgot +that this money was not mine. That it had been received, under every +sanction of fidelity, for another's use. To retain it was equivalent to +robbery. The sister of the deceased was the rightful claimant; it was my +duty to search her out, and perform my tacit but sacred obligations, by +putting the whole into her possession. + +"This conclusion was too adverse to my wishes not to be strenuously +combated. I asked what it was that gave man the power of ascertaining +the successor to his property. During his life, he might transfer the +actual possession; but, if vacant at his death, he into whose hands +accident should cast it was the genuine proprietor. It is true, that the +law had sometimes otherwise decreed, but in law there was no validity +further than it was able, by investigation and punishment, to enforce +its decrees: but would the law extort this money from me? + +"It was rather by gesture than by words that the will of Lodi was +imparted. It was the topic of remote inferences and vague conjecture +rather than of explicit and unerring declarations. Besides, if the lady +were found, would not prudence dictate the reservation of her fortune to +be administered by me, for her benefit? Of this her age and education +had disqualified herself. It was sufficient for the maintenance of both. +She would regard me as her benefactor and protector. By supplying all +her wants and watching over her safety without apprizing her of the +means by which I shall be enabled to do this, I shall lay irresistible +claims to her love and her gratitude. + +"Such were the sophistries by which reason was seduced and my integrity +annihilated. I hastened away from my present abode. I easily traced the +baggage of the deceased to an inn, and gained possession of it. It +contained nothing but clothes and books. I then instituted the most +diligent search after the young lady. For a time, my exertions were +fruitless. + +"Meanwhile, the possessor of this house thought proper to embark with +his family for Europe. The sum which he demanded for his furniture, +though enormous, was precipitately paid by me. His servants were +continued in their former stations, and in the day at which he +relinquished the mansion, I entered on possession. + +"There was no difficulty in persuading the world that Welbeck was a +personage of opulence and rank. My birth and previous adventures it was +proper to conceal. The facility with which mankind are misled in their +estimate of characters, their proneness to multiply inferences and +conjectures, will not be readily conceived by one destitute of my +experience. My sudden appearance on the stage, my stately reserve, my +splendid habitation, and my circumspect deportment, were sufficient to +entitle me to homage. The artifices that were used to unveil the truth, +and the guesses that were current respecting me, were adapted to gratify +my ruling passion. + +"I did not remit my diligence to discover the retreat of Mademoiselle +Lodi. I found her, at length, in the family of a kinsman of the captain +under whose care she had come to America. Her situation was irksome and +perilous. She had already experienced the evils of being protectorless +and indigent, and my seasonable interference snatched her from impending +and less supportable ills. + +"I could safely unfold all that I knew of her brother's history, except +the legacy which he had left. I ascribed the diligence with which I had +sought her to his death-bed injunctions, and prevailed upon her to +accept from me the treatment which she would have received from her +brother if he had continued to live, and if his power to benefit had +been equal to my own. + +"Though less can be said in praise of the understanding than of the +sensibilities of this woman, she is one whom no one could refrain from +loving, though placed in situations far less favourable to the +generation of that sentiment than mine. In habits of domestic and +incessant intercourse, in the perpetual contemplation of features +animated by boundless gratitude and ineffable sympathies, it could not +be expected that either she or I should escape enchantment. + +"The poison was too sweet not to be swallowed with avidity by me. Too +late I remembered that I was already enslaved by inextricable +obligations. It was easy to have hidden this impediment from the eyes of +my companion, but here my integrity refused to yield. I can, indeed, lay +claim to little merit on account of this forbearance. If there had been +no alternative between deceit and the frustration of my hopes, I should +doubtless have dissembled the truth with as little scruple on this as on +a different occasion; but I could not be blind to the weakness of her +with whom I had to contend. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + + +"Meanwhile large deductions had been made from my stock of money, and +the remnant would be speedily consumed by my present mode of life. My +expenses far exceeded my previous expectations. In no long time I should +be reduced to my ancient poverty, which the luxurious existence that I +now enjoyed, and the regard due to my beloved and helpless companion, +would render more irksome than ever. Some scheme to rescue me from this +fate was indispensable; but my aversion to labour, to any pursuit the +end of which was merely gain, and which would require application and +attention, continued undiminished. + +"I was plunged anew into dejection and perplexity. From this I was +somewhat relieved by a plan suggested by Mr. Thetford. I thought I had +experience of his knowledge and integrity, and the scheme that he +proposed seemed liable to no possibility of miscarriage. A ship was to +be purchased, supplied with a suitable cargo, and despatched to a port +in the West Indies. Loss from storms and enemies was to be precluded by +insurance. Every hazard was to be enumerated, and the ship and cargo +valued at the highest rate. Should the voyage be safely performed, the +profits would be double the original expense. Should the ship be taken +or wrecked, the insurers would have bound themselves to make ample, +speedy, and certain indemnification. Thetford's brother, a wary and +experienced trader, was to be the supercargo. + +"All my money was laid out upon this scheme. Scarcely enough was +reserved to supply domestic and personal wants. Large debts were +likewise incurred. Our caution had, as we conceived, annihilated every +chance of failure. Too much could not be expended on a project so +infallible; and the vessel, amply fitted and freighted, departed on her +voyage. + +"An interval, not devoid of suspense and anxiety, succeeded. My +mercantile inexperience made me distrust the clearness of my own +discernment, and I could not but remember that my utter and +irretrievable destruction was connected with the failure of my scheme. +Time added to my distrust and apprehensions. The time at which tidings +of the ship were to be expected elapsed without affording any +information of her destiny. My anxieties, however, were to be carefully +hidden from the world. I had taught mankind to believe that this project +had been adopted more for amusement than gain; and the debts which I had +contracted seemed to arise from willingness to adhere to established +maxims, more than from the pressure of necessity. + +"Month succeeded month, and intelligence was still withheld. The notes +which I had given for one-third of the cargo, and for the premium of +insurance, would shortly become due. For the payment of the former, and +the cancelling of the latter, I had relied upon the expeditious return +or the demonstrated loss of the vessel. Neither of these events had +taken place. + +"My cares were augmented from another quarter. My companion's situation +now appeared to be such as, if our intercourse had been sanctified by +wedlock, would have been regarded with delight. As it was, no symptoms +were equally to be deplored. Consequences, as long as they were involved +in uncertainty, were extenuated or overlooked; but now, when they became +apparent and inevitable, were fertile of distress and upbraiding. + +"Indefinable fears, and a desire to monopolize all the meditations and +affections of this being, had induced me to perpetuate her ignorance of +any but her native language, and debar her from all intercourse with the +world. My friends were of course inquisitive respecting her character, +adventures, and particularly her relation to me. The consciousness how +much the truth redounded to my dishonour made me solicitous to lead +conjecture astray. For this purpose I did not discountenance the +conclusion that was adopted by some,--that she was my daughter. I +reflected that all dangerous surmises would be effectually precluded by +this belief. + +"These precautions afforded me some consolation in my present +difficulties. It was requisite to conceal the lady's condition from the +world. If this should be ineffectual, it would not be difficult to +divert suspicion from my person. The secrecy that I had practised would +be justified, in the apprehension of those to whom the personal +condition of Clemenza should be disclosed, by the feelings of a father. + +"Meanwhile, it was an obvious expedient to remove the unhappy lady to a +distance from impertinent observers. A rural retreat, lonely and +sequestered, was easily procured, and hither she consented to repair. +This arrangement being concerted, I had leisure to reflect upon the +evils which every hour brought nearer, and which threatened to +exterminate me. + +"My inquietudes forbade me to sleep, and I was accustomed to rise before +day and seek some respite in the fields. Returning from one of these +unseasonable rambles, I chanced to meet you. Your resemblance to the +deceased Lodi, in person and visage, is remarkable. When you first met +my eye, this similitude startled me. Your subsequent appeal to my +compassion was clothed in such terms as formed a powerful contrast with +your dress, and prepossessed me greatly in favour of your education and +capacity. + +"In my present hopeless condition, every incident, however trivial, was +attentively considered, with a view to extract from it some means of +escaping from my difficulties. My love for the Italian girl, in spite of +all my efforts to keep it alive, had begun to languish. Marriage was +impossible; and had now, in some degree, ceased to be desirable. We are +apt to judge of others by ourselves. The passion I now found myself +disposed to ascribe chiefly to fortuitous circumstances; to the impulse +of gratitude, and the exclusion of competitors; and believed that your +resemblance to her brother, your age and personal accomplishments, +might, after a certain time, and in consequence of suitable +contrivances on my part, give a new direction to her feelings. To gain +your concurrence, I relied upon your simplicity, your gratitude, and +your susceptibility to the charms of this bewitching creature. + +"I contemplated, likewise, another end. Mrs. Wentworth is rich. A youth +who was once her favourite, and designed to inherit her fortunes, has +disappeared, for some years, from the scene. His death is most probable, +but of that there is no satisfactory information. The life of this +person, whose name is Clavering, is an obstacle to some designs which +had occurred to me in relation to this woman. My purposes were crude and +scarcely formed. I need not swell the catalogue of my errors by +expatiating upon them. Suffice it to say that the peculiar circumstances +of your introduction to me led me to reflections on the use that might +be made of your agency, in procuring this lady's acquiescence in my +schemes. You were to be ultimately persuaded to confirm her in the +belief that her nephew was dead. To this consummation it was +indispensable to lead you by slow degrees and circuitous paths. +Meanwhile, a profound silence, with regard to your genuine history, was +to be observed; and to this forbearance your consent was obtained with +more readiness than I expected. + +"There was an additional motive for the treatment you received from me. +My personal projects and cares had hitherto prevented me from reading +Lodi's manuscript; a slight inspection, however, was sufficient to prove +that the work was profound and eloquent. My ambition has panted, with +equal avidity, after the reputation of literature and opulence. To claim +the authorship of this work was too harmless and specious a stratagem +not to be readily suggested. I meant to translate it into English, and +to enlarge it by enterprising incidents of my own invention. My scruples +to assume the merit of the original composer might thus be removed. For +this end, your assistance as an amanuensis would be necessary. + +"You will perceive that all these projects depended on the seasonable +arrival of intelligence from ----. The delay of another week would seal +my destruction. The silence might arise from the foundering of the ship +and the destruction of all on board. In this case, the insurance was not +forfeited, but payment could not be obtained within a year. Meanwhile, +the premium and other debts must be immediately discharged, and this was +beyond my power. Meanwhile, I was to live in a manner that would not +belie my pretensions; but my coffers were empty. + +"I cannot adequately paint the anxieties with which I have been haunted. +Each hour has added to the burden of my existence, till, in consequence +of the events of this day, it has become altogether insupportable. Some +hours ago, I was summoned by Thetford to his house. The messenger +informed me that tidings had been received of my ship. In answer to my +eager interrogations, he could give no other information than that she +had been captured by the British. He was unable to relate particulars. + +"News of her safe return would, indeed, have been far more acceptable; +but even this information was a source of infinite congratulation. It +precluded the demand of my insurers. The payment of other debts might be +postponed for a month, and my situation be the same as before the +adoption of this successless scheme. Hope and joy were reinstated in my +bosom, and I hasted to Thetford's counting-house. + +"He received me with an air of gloomy dissatisfaction. I accounted for +his sadness by supposing him averse to communicate information which was +less favourable than our wishes had dictated. He confirmed, with visible +reluctance, the news of her capture. He had just received letters from +his brother, acquainting him with all particulars, and containing the +official documents of this transaction. + +"This had no tendency to damp my satisfaction, and I proceeded to peruse +with eagerness the papers which he put into my hand. I had not proceeded +far, when my joyous hopes vanished. Two French mulattoes had, after much +solicitation, and the most solemn promises to carry with them no +articles which the laws of war decree to be contraband, obtained a +passage in the vessel. She was speedily encountered by a privateer, by +whom every receptacle was ransacked. In a chest, belonging to the +Frenchmen, and which they had affirmed to contain nothing but their +clothes, were found two sabres, and other accoutrements of an officer of +cavalry. Under this pretence, the vessel was captured and condemned, and +this was a cause of forfeiture which had not been provided against in +the contract of insurance. + +"By this untoward event my hopes were irreparably blasted. The utmost +efforts were demanded to conceal my thoughts from my companion. The +anguish that preyed upon my heart was endeavoured to be masked by looks +of indifference. I pretended to have been previously informed by the +messenger not only of the capture, but of the cause that led to it, and +forbore to expatiate upon my loss, or to execrate the authors of my +disappointment. My mind, however, was the theatre of discord and agony, +and I waited with impatience for an opportunity to leave him. + +"For want of other topics, I asked by whom this information had been +brought. He answered, that the bearer was Captain Amos Watson, whose +vessel had been forfeited, at the same time, under a different pretence. +He added that, my name being mentioned accidentally to Watson, the +latter had betrayed marks of great surprise, and been very earnest in +his inquiries respecting my situation. Having obtained what knowledge +Thetford was able to communicate, the captain had departed, avowing a +former acquaintance with me, and declaring his intention of paying me a +visit. + +"These words operated on my frame like lightning. All within me was +tumult and terror, and I rushed precipitately out of the house. I went +forward with unequal steps, and at random. Some instinct led me into the +fields, and I was not apprized of the direction of my steps, till, +looking up, I found myself upon the shore of Schuylkill. + +"Thus was I, a second time, overborne by hopeless and incurable evils. +An interval of motley feelings, of specious artifice and contemptible +imposture, had elapsed since my meeting with the stranger at Wilmington. +Then my forlorn state had led me to the brink of suicide. A brief and +feverish respite had been afforded me, but now was I transported to the +verge of the same abyss. + +"Amos Watson was the brother of the angel whom I had degraded and +destroyed. What but fiery indignation and unappeasable vengeance could +lead him into my presence? With what heart could I listen to his +invectives? How could I endure to look upon the face of one whom I had +loaded with such atrocious and intolerable injuries? + +"I was acquainted with his loftiness of mind; his detestation of +injustice, and the whirlwind passions that ingratitude and villany like +mine were qualified to awaken in his bosom. I dreaded not his violence. +The death that he might be prompted to inflict was no object of +aversion. It was poverty and disgrace, the detection of my crimes, the +looks and voice of malediction and upbraiding, from which my cowardice +shrunk. + +"Why should I live? I must vanish from that stage which I had lately +trodden. My flight must be instant and precipitate. To be a fugitive +from exasperated creditors, and from the industrious revenge of Watson, +was an easy undertaking; but whither could I fly, where I should not be +pursued by the phantoms of remorse, by the dread of hourly detection, by +the necessities of hunger and thirst? In what scene should I be exempt +from servitude and drudgery? Was my existence embellished with +enjoyments that would justify my holding it, encumbered with hardships +and immersed in obscurity? + +"There was no room for hesitation. To rush into the stream before me, +and put an end at once to my life and the miseries inseparably linked +with it, was the only proceeding which fate had left to my choice. My +muscles were already exerted for this end, when the helpless condition +of Clemenza was remembered. What provision could I make against the +evils that threatened her? Should I leave her utterly forlorn and +friendless? Mrs. Wentworth's temper was forgiving and compassionate. +Adversity had taught her to participate and her wealth enabled her to +relieve distress. Who was there by whom such powerful claims to succour +and protection could be urged as by this desolate girl? Might I not +state her situation in a letter to this lady, and urge irresistible +pleas for the extension of her kindness to this object? + +"These thoughts made me suspend my steps. I determined to seek my +habitation once more, and, having written and deposited this letter, to +return to the execution of my fatal purpose. I had scarcely reached my +own door, when some one approached along the pavement. The form, at +first, was undistinguishable, but, by coming, at length, within the +illumination of a lamp, it was perfectly recognised. + +"To avoid this detested interview was now impossible. Watson approached +and accosted me. In this conflict of tumultuous feelings I was still +able to maintain an air of intrepidity. His demeanour was that of a man +who struggles with his rage. His accents were hurried, and scarcely +articulate. 'I have ten words to say to you,' said he; 'lead into the +house, and to some private room. My business with you will be despatched +in a breath.' + +"I made him no answer, but led the way into my house, and to my study. +On entering this room, I put the light upon the table, and, turning to +my visitant, prepared silently to hear what he had to unfold. He struck +his clenched hand against the table with violence. His motion was of +that tempestuous kind as to overwhelm the power of utterance, and found +it easier to vent itself in gesticulations than in words. At length he +exclaimed,-- + +"'It is well. Now has the hour, so long and so impatiently demanded by +my vengeance, arrived. Welbeck! Would that my first words could strike +thee dead! They will so, if thou hast any title to the name of man. + +"'My sister is dead; dead of anguish and a broken heart. Remote from her +friends; in a hovel; the abode of indigence and misery. + +"'Her husband is no more. He returned after a long absence, a tedious +navigation, and vicissitudes of hardships. He flew to the bosom of his +love; of his wife. She was gone; lost to him, and to virtue. In a fit of +desperation, he retired to his chamber and despatched himself. This is +the instrument with which the deed was performed.' + +"Saying this, Watson took a pistol from his pocket, and held it to my +head. I lifted not my hand to turn aside the weapon. I did not shudder +at the spectacle, or shrink from his approaching hand. With fingers +clasped together, and eyes fixed upon the floor, I waited till his fury +was exhausted. He continued:-- + +"'All passed in a few hours. The elopement of his daughter,--the death +of his son. O my father! Most loved and most venerable of men! To see +thee changed into a maniac! Haggard and wild! Deterred from outrage on +thyself and those around thee by fetters and stripes! What was it that +saved me from a like fate? To view this hideous ruin, and to think by +whom it was occasioned! Yet not to become frantic like thee, my father; +or not destroy myself like thee, my brother! My friend!-- + +"'No. For this hour was I reserved; to avenge your wrongs and mine in +the blood of this ungrateful villain.' + +"'There,' continued he, producing a second pistol, and tendering it to +me,--'there is thy defence. Take we opposite sides of this table, and +fire at the same instant.' + +"During this address I was motionless. He tendered the pistol, but I +unclasped not my hands to receive it. + +"'Why do you hesitate?' resumed he. 'Let the chance between us be equal, +or fire you first.' + +"'No,' said I, 'I am ready to die by your hand. I wish it. It will +preclude the necessity of performing the office for myself. I have +injured you, and merit all that your vengeance can inflict. I know your +nature too well to believe that my death will be perfect expiation. When +the gust of indignation is past, the remembrance of your deed will only +add to your sum of misery; yet I do not love you well enough to wish +that you would forbear. I desire to die, and to die by another's hand +rather than my own.' + +"'Coward!' exclaimed Watson, with augmented vehemence, 'you know me too +well to believe me capable of assassination. Vile subterfuge! +Contemptible plea! Take the pistol and defend yourself. You want not the +power or the will; but, knowing that I spurn at murder, you think your +safety will be found in passiveness. Your refusal will avail you little. +Your fame, if not your life, is at my mercy. If you falter now, I will +allow you to live, but only till I have stabbed your reputation.' + +"I now fixed my eyes steadfastly upon him, and spoke:--'How much a +stranger are you to the feelings of Welbeck! How poor a judge of his +cowardice! I take your pistol, and consent to your conditions.' + +"We took opposite sides of the table. 'Are you ready?' he cried; 'fire!' + +"Both triggers were drawn at the same instant. Both pistols were +discharged. Mine was negligently raised. Such is the untoward chance +that presides over human affairs; such is the malignant destiny by which +my steps have ever been pursued. The bullet whistled harmlessly by +me,--levelled by an eye that never before failed, and with so small an +interval between us. I escaped, but my blind and random shot took place +in his heart. + +"There is the fruit of this disastrous meeting. The catalogue of death +is thus completed. Thou sleepest, Watson! Thy sister is at rest, and so +art thou. Thy vows of vengeance are at an end. It was not reserved for +thee to be thy own and thy sister's avenger. Welbeck's measure of +transgressions is now full, and his own hand must execute the justice +that is due to him." + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + + +Such was Welbeck's tale, listened to by me with an eagerness in which +every faculty was absorbed. How adverse to my dreams were the incidents +that had just been related! The curtain was lifted, and a scene of guilt +and ignominy disclosed where my rash and inexperienced youth had +suspected nothing but loftiness and magnanimity. + +For a while the wondrousness of this tale kept me from contemplating the +consequences that awaited us. My unfledged fancy had not hitherto soared +to this pitch. All was astounding by its novelty, or terrific by its +horror. The very scene of these offences partook, to my rustic +apprehension, of fairy splendour and magical abruptness. My +understanding was bemazed, and my senses were taught to distrust their +own testimony. + +From this musing state I was recalled by my companion, who said to me, +in solemn accents, "Mervyn! I have but two requests to make. Assist me +to bury these remains, and then accompany me across the river. I have no +power to compel your silence on the acts that you have witnessed. I have +meditated to benefit as well as to injure you; but I do not desire that +your demeanour should conform to any other standard than justice. You +have promised, and to that promise I trust. + +"If you choose to fly from this scene, to withdraw yourself from what +you may conceive to be a theatre of guilt or peril, the avenues are +open; retire unmolested and in silence. If you have a manlike spirit, if +you are grateful for the benefits bestowed upon you, if your discernment +enables you to see that compliance with my request will entangle you in +no guilt and betray you into no danger, stay, and aid me in hiding these +remains from human scrutiny. + +"Watson is beyond the reach of further injury. I never intended him +harm, though I have torn from him his sister and friend, and have +brought his life to an untimely close. To provide him a grave is a duty +that I owe to the dead and to the living. I shall quickly place myself +beyond the reach of inquisitors and judges, but would willingly rescue +from molestation or suspicion those whom I shall leave behind." + +What would have been the fruit of deliberation, if I had had the time or +power to deliberate, I know not. My thoughts flowed with tumult and +rapidity. To shut this spectacle from my view was the first impulse; but +to desert this man, in a time of so much need, appeared a thankless and +dastardly deportment. To remain where I was, to conform implicitly to +his direction, required no effort. Some fear was connected with his +presence, and with that of the dead; but, in the tremulous confusion of +my present thoughts, solitude would conjure up a thousand phantoms. + +I made no preparation to depart. I did not verbally assent to his +proposal. He interpreted my silence into acquiescence. He wrapped the +body in the carpet, and then, lifting one end, cast at me a look which +indicated his expectations that I would aid him in lifting this ghastly +burden. During this process, the silence was unbroken. + +I knew not whither he intended to convey the corpse. He had talked of +burial, but no receptacle had been provided. How far safety might depend +upon his conduct in this particular, I was unable to estimate. I was in +too heartless a mood to utter my doubts. I followed his example in +raising the corpse from the floor. + +He led the way into the passage and down-stairs. Having reached the +first floor, he unbolted a door which led into the cellar. The stairs +and passage were illuminated by lamps that hung from the ceiling and +were accustomed to burn during the night. Now, however, we were entering +darksome and murky recesses. + +"Return," said he, in a tone of command, "and fetch the light. I will +wait for you." + +I obeyed. As I returned with the light, a suspicion stole into my mind, +that Welbeck had taken this opportunity to fly; and that, on regaining +the foot of the stairs, I should find the spot deserted by all but the +dead. My blood was chilled by this image. The momentary resolution it +inspired was to follow the example of the fugitive, and leave the +persons whom the ensuing day might convene on this spot, to form their +own conjectures as to the cause of this catastrophe. + +Meanwhile, I cast anxious eyes forward. Welbeck was discovered in the +same place and posture in which he had been left. Lifting the corpse and +its shroud in his arms, he directed me to follow him. The vaults beneath +were lofty and spacious. He passed from one to the other till we reached +a small and remote cell. Here he cast his burden on the ground. In the +fall, the face of Watson chanced to be disengaged from its covering. Its +closed eyes and sunken muscles were rendered in a tenfold degree ghastly +and rueful by the feeble light which the candle shed upon it. + +This object did not escape the attention of Welbeck. He leaned against +the wall, and, folding his arms, resigned himself to reverie. He gazed +upon the countenance of Watson, but his looks denoted his attention to +be elsewhere employed. + +As to me, my state will not be easily described. My eye roved fearfully +from one object to another. By turns it was fixed upon the murdered +person and the murderer. The narrow cell in which we stood, its +rudely-fashioned walls and arches, destitute of communication with the +external air, and its palpable dark scarcely penetrated by the rays of a +solitary candle, added to the silence which was deep and universal, +produced an impression on my fancy which no time will obliterate. + +Perhaps my imagination was distempered by terror. The incident which I +am going to relate may appear to have existed only in my fancy. Be that +as it may, I experienced all the effects which the fullest belief is +adapted to produce. Glancing vaguely at the countenance of Watson, my +attention was arrested by a convulsive motion in the eyelids. This +motion increased, till at length the eyes opened, and a glance, languid +but wild, was thrown around. Instantly they closed, and the tremulous +appearance vanished. + +I started from my place and was on the point of uttering some +involuntary exclamation. At the same moment, Welbeck seemed to recover +from his reverie. + +"How is this?" said he. "Why do we linger here? Every moment is +precious. We cannot dig for him a grave with our hands. Wait here, while +I go in search of a spade." + +Saying this, he snatched the candle from my hand, and hasted away. My +eye followed the light as its gleams shifted their place upon the walls +and ceilings, and, gradually vanishing, gave place to unrespited gloom. +This proceeding was so unexpected and abrupt, that I had no time to +remonstrate against it. Before I retrieved the power of reflection, the +light had disappeared and the footsteps were no longer to be heard. + +I was not, on ordinary occasions, destitute of equanimity; but perhaps +the imagination of man is naturally abhorrent of death, until tutored +into indifference by habit. Every circumstance combined to fill me with +shuddering and panic. For a while, I was enabled to endure my situation +by the exertions of my reason. That the lifeless remains of a human +being are powerless to injure or benefit, I was thoroughly persuaded. I +summoned this belief to my aid, and was able, if not to subdue, yet to +curb, my fears. I listened to catch the sound of the returning footsteps +of Welbeck, and hoped that every new moment would terminate my solitude. + +No signal of his coming was afforded. At length it occurred to me that +Welbeck had gone with no intention to return; that his malice had +seduced me hither to encounter the consequences of his deed. He had fled +and barred every door behind him. This suspicion may well be supposed to +overpower my courage, and to call forth desperate efforts for my +deliverance. + +I extended my hands and went forward. I had been too little attentive to +the situation and direction of these vaults and passages, to go forward +with undeviating accuracy. My fears likewise tended to confuse my +perceptions and bewilder my steps. Notwithstanding the danger of +encountering obstructions, I rushed towards the entrance with +precipitation. + +My temerity was quickly punished. In a moment, I was repelled by a +jutting angle of the wall, with such force that I staggered backward and +fell. The blow was stunning, and, when I recovered my senses, I +perceived that a torrent of blood was gushing from my nostrils. My +clothes were moistened with this unwelcome effusion, and I could not but +reflect on the hazard which I should incur by being detected in this +recess, covered by these accusing stains. + +This reflection once more set me on my feet and incited my exertions. I +now proceeded with greater wariness and caution. I had lost all distinct +notions of my way. My motions were at random. All my labour was to shun +obstructions and to advance whenever the vacuity would permit. By this +means, the entrance was at length found, and, after various efforts, I +arrived, beyond my hopes, at the foot of the staircase. + +I ascended, but quickly encountered an insuperable impediment. The door +at the stair-head was closed and barred. My utmost strength was exerted +in vain, to break the lock or the hinges. Thus were my direst +apprehensions fulfilled. Welbeck had left me to sustain the charge of +murder; to obviate suspicions the most atrocious and plausible that the +course of human events is capable of producing. + +Here I must remain till the morrow; till some one can be made to +overhear my calls and come to my deliverance. What effects will my +appearance produce on the spectator? Terrified by phantoms and stained +with blood, shall I not exhibit the tokens of a maniac as well as an +assassin? + +The corpse of Watson will quickly be discovered. If, previous to this +disclosure, I should change my blood-stained garments and withdraw into +the country, shall I not be pursued by the most vehement suspicions, +and, perhaps, hunted to my obscurest retreat by the ministers of +justice? I am innocent; but my tale, however circumstantial or true, +will scarcely suffice for my vindication. My flight will be construed +into a proof of incontestable guilt. + +While harassed by these thoughts, my attention was attracted by a faint +gleam cast upon the bottom of the staircase. It grew stronger, hovered +for a moment in my sight, and then disappeared. That it proceeded from a +lamp or candle, borne by some one along the passages, was no untenable +opinion, but was far less probable than that the effulgence was +meteorous. I confided in the latter supposition, and fortified myself +anew against the dread of preternatural dangers. My thoughts reverted to +the contemplation of the hazards and suspicions which flowed from my +continuance in this spot. + +In the midst of my perturbed musing, my attention was again recalled by +an illumination like the former. Instead of hovering and vanishing, it +was permanent. No ray could be more feeble; but the tangible obscurity +to which it succeeded rendered it conspicuous as an electrical flash. +For a while I eyed it without moving from my place, and in momentary +expectation of its disappearance. + +Remarking its stability, the propriety of scrutinizing it more nearly, +and of ascertaining the source whence it flowed, was at length +suggested. Hope, as well as curiosity, was the parent of my conduct. +Though utterly at a loss to assign the cause of this appearance, I was +willing to believe some connection between that cause and the means of +my deliverance. + +I had scarcely formed the resolution of descending the stair, when my +hope was extinguished by the recollection that the cellar had narrow and +grated windows, through which light from the street might possibly have +found access. A second recollection supplanted this belief, for in my +way to this staircase my attention would have been solicited, and my +steps, in some degree, been guided, by light coming through these +avenues. + +Having returned to the bottom of the stair, I perceived every part of +the long-drawn passage illuminated. I threw a glance forward to the +quarter whence the rays seemed to proceed, and beheld, at a considerable +distance, Welbeck in the cell which I had left, turning up the earth +with a spade. + +After a pause of astonishment, the nature of the error which I had +committed rushed upon my apprehension. I now perceived that the darkness +had misled me to a different staircase from that which I had originally +descended. It was apparent that Welbeck intended me no evil, but had +really gone in search of the instrument which he had mentioned. + +This discovery overwhelmed me with contrition and shame, though it freed +me from the terrors of imprisonment and accusation. To return to the +cell which I had left, and where Welbeck was employed in his disastrous +office, was the expedient which regard to my own safety unavoidably +suggested. + +Welbeck paused, at my approach, and betrayed a momentary consternation +at the sight of my ensanguined visage. The blood, by some inexplicable +process of nature, perhaps by the counteracting influence of fear, had +quickly ceased to flow. Whether the cause of my evasion, and of my flux +of blood, was guessed, or whether his attention was withdrawn, by more +momentous objects, from my condition, he proceeded in his task in +silence. + +A shallow bed and a slight covering of clay were provided for the +hapless Watson. Welbeck's movements were hurried and tremulous. His +countenance betokened a mind engrossed by a single purpose, in some +degree foreign to the scene before him. An intensity and fixedness of +features were conspicuous, that led me to suspect the subversion of his +reason. + +Having finished the task, he threw aside his implement. He then put into +my hand a pocket-book, saying it belonged to Watson, and might contain +something serviceable to the living. I might make what use of it I +thought proper. He then remounted the stairs, and, placing the candle on +a table in the hall, opened the principal door and went forth. I was +driven, by a sort of mechanical impulse, in his footsteps. I followed +him because it was agreeable to him and because I knew not whither else +to direct my steps. + +The streets were desolate and silent. The watchman's call, remotely and +faintly heard, added to the general solemnity. I followed my companion +in a state of mind not easily described. I had no spirit even to inquire +whither he was going. It was not till we arrived at the water's edge +that I persuaded myself to break silence. I then began to reflect on the +degree in which his present schemes might endanger Welbeck or myself. I +had acted long enough a servile and mechanical part; and been guided by +blind and foreign impulses. It was time to lay aside my fetters, and +demand to know whither the path tended in which I was importuned to +walk. + +Meanwhile I found myself entangled among boats and shipping. I am unable +to describe the spot by any indisputable tokens. I know merely that it +was the termination of one of the principal streets. Here Welbeck +selected a boat and prepared to enter it. For a moment I hesitated to +comply with his apparent invitation. I stammered out an +interrogation:--"Why is this? Why should we cross the river? What +service can I do for you? I ought to know the purpose of my voyage +before I enter it." + +He checked himself and surveyed me for a minute in silence. "What do you +fear?" said he. "Have I not explained my wishes? Merely cross the river +with me, for I cannot navigate a boat by myself. Is there any thing +arduous or mysterious in this undertaking? we part on the Jersey shore, +and I shall leave you to your destiny. All I shall ask from you will be +silence, and to hide from mankind what you know concerning me." + +He now entered the boat and urged me to follow his example. I +reluctantly complied, I perceived that the boat contained but one oar, +and that was a small one. He seemed startled and thrown into great +perplexity by this discovery. "It will be impossible," said he, in a +tone of panic and vexation, "to procure another at this hour: what is to +be done?" + +This impediment was by no means insuperable. I had sinewy arms, and knew +well how to use an oar for the double purpose of oar and rudder. I took +my station at the stern, and quickly extricated the boat from its +neighbours and from the wharves. I was wholly unacquainted with the +river. The bar by which it was encumbered I knew to exist, but in what +direction and to what extent it existed, and how it might be avoided in +the present state of the tide, I knew not. It was probable, therefore, +unknowing as I was of the proper track, that our boat would speedily +have grounded. + +My attention, meanwhile, was fixed upon the oar. My companion sat at the +prow, and was in a considerable degree unnoticed. I cast my eyes +occasionally at the scene which I had left. Its novelty, joined with the +incidents of my condition, threw me into a state of suspense and wonder +which frequently slackened my hand and left the vessel to be driven by +the downward current. Lights were sparingly seen, and these were +perpetually fluctuating, as masts, yards, and hulls were interposed, and +passed before them. In proportion as we receded from the shore, the +clamours seemed to multiply, and the suggestion that the city was +involved in confusion and uproar did not easily give way to maturer +thoughts. _Twelve_ was the hour cried, and this ascended at once from +all quarters, and was mingled with the baying of dogs, so as to produce +trepidation and alarm. + +From this state of magnificent and awful feeling I was suddenly called +by the conduct of Welbeck. We had scarcely moved two hundred yards from +the shore, when he plunged into the water. The first conception was that +some implement or part of the boat had fallen over-board. I looked back +and perceived that his seat was vacant. In my first astonishment I +loosened my hold of the oar, and it floated away. The surface was smooth +as glass, and the eddy occasioned by his sinking was scarcely visible. I +had not time to determine whether this was designed or accidental. Its +suddenness deprived me of the power to exert myself for his succour. I +wildly gazed around me, in hopes of seeing him rise. After some time my +attention was drawn, by the sound of agitation in the water, to a +considerable distance. + +It was too dark for any thing to be distinctly seen. There was no cry +for help. The noise was like that of one vigorously struggling for a +moment, and then sinking to the bottom. I listened with painful +eagerness, but was unable to distinguish a third signal. He sunk to rise +no more. + +I was for a time inattentive to my own situation. The dreadfulness and +unexpectedness of this catastrophe occupied me wholly. The quick motion +of the lights upon the shore showed me that I was borne rapidly along +with the tide. How to help myself, how to impede my course or to regain +either shore, since I had lost the oar, I was unable to tell. I was no +less at a loss to conjecture whither the current, if suffered to control +my vehicle, would finally transport me. + +The disappearance of lights and buildings, and the diminution of the +noises, acquainted me that I had passed the town. It was impossible +longer to hesitate. The shore was to be regained by one way only, which +was swimming. To any exploit of this kind, my strength and my skill were +adequate. I threw away my loose gown; put the pocket-book of the +unfortunate Watson in my mouth, to preserve it from being injured by +moisture; and committed myself to the stream. + +I landed in a spot incommoded with mud and reeds. I sunk knee-deep into +the former, and was exhausted by the fatigue of extricating myself. At +length I recovered firm ground, and threw myself on the turf to repair +my wasted strength, and to reflect on the measures which my future +welfare enjoined me to pursue. + +What condition was ever parallel to mine? The transactions of the last +three days resembled the monstrous creations of delirium. They were +painted with vivid hues on my memory; but so rapid and incongruous were +these transitions, that I almost denied belief to their reality. They +exercised a bewildering and stupefying influence on my mind, from which +the meditations of an hour were scarcely sufficient to relieve me. +Gradually I recovered the power of arranging my ideas and forming +conclusions. + +Welbeck was dead. His property was swallowed up, and his creditors left +to wonder at his disappearance. All that was left was the furniture of +his house, to which Mrs. Wentworth would lay claim, in discharge of the +unpaid rent. What now was the destiny that awaited the lost and +friendless Mademoiselle Lodi? Where was she concealed? Welbeck had +dropped no intimation by which I might be led to suspect the place of +her abode. If my power, in other respects, could have contributed aught +to her relief, my ignorance of her asylum had utterly disabled me. + +But what of the murdered person? He had suddenly vanished from the face +of the earth. His fate and the place of his interment would probably be +suspected and ascertained. Was I sure to escape from the consequences of +this deed? Watson had relatives and friends. What influence on their +state and happiness his untimely and mysterious fate would possess, it +was obvious to inquire. This idea led me to the recollection of his +pocket-book. Some papers might be there explanatory of his situation. + +I resumed my feet. I knew not where to direct my steps. I was dropping +with wet, and shivering with the cold. I was destitute of habitation and +friend. I had neither money nor any valuable thing in my possession. I +moved forward mechanically and at random. Where I landed was at no great +distance from the verge of the town. In a short time I discovered the +glimmering of a distant lamp. To this I directed my steps, and here I +paused to examine the contents of the pocket-book. + +I found three bank-notes, each of fifty dollars, enclosed in a piece of +blank paper. Besides these were three letters, apparently written by his +wife, and dated at Baltimore. They were brief, but composed in a strain +of great tenderness, and containing affecting allusions to their child. +I could gather, from their date and tenor, that they were received +during his absence on his recent voyage; that her condition was +considerably necessitous, and surrounded by wants which their prolonged +separation had increased. + +The fourth letter was open, and seemed to have been very lately written. +It was directed to Mrs. Mary Watson. He informed her in it of his +arrival at Philadelphia from St. Domingo; of the loss of his ship and +cargo; and of his intention to hasten home with all possible expedition. +He told her that all was lost but one hundred and fifty dollars, the +greater part of which he should bring with him, to relieve her more +pressing wants. The letter was signed, and folded, and superscribed, but +unsealed. + +A little consideration showed me in what manner it became me, on this +occasion, to demean myself. I put the bank-notes in the letter, and +sealed it with a wafer; a few of which were found in the pocket-book. I +hesitated some time whether I should add any thing to the information +which the letter contained, by means of a pencil which offered itself to +my view; but I concluded to forbear. I could select no suitable terms in +which to communicate the mournful truth. I resolved to deposit this +letter at the post-office, where I knew letters could be left at all +hours. + +My reflections at length reverted to my own condition. What was the fate +reserved for me? How far my safety might be affected by remaining in the +city, in consequence of the disappearance of Welbeck, and my known +connection with the fugitive, it was impossible to foresee. My fears +readily suggested innumerable embarrassments and inconveniences which +would flow from this source. Besides, on what pretence should I remain? +To whom could I apply for protection or employment? All avenues, even to +subsistence, were shut against me. The country was my sole asylum. Here, +in exchange for my labour, I could at least purchase food, safety, and +repose. But, if my choice pointed to the country, there was no reason +for a moment's delay. It would be prudent to regain the fields, and be +far from this detested city before the rising of the sun. + +Meanwhile I was chilled and chafed by the clothes that I wore. To change +them for others was absolutely necessary to my ease. The clothes which I +wore were not my own, and were extremely unsuitable to my new condition. +My rustic and homely garb was deposited in my chamber at Welbeck's. +These thoughts suggested the design of returning thither. I considered +that, probably, the servants had not been alarmed. That the door was +unfastened, and the house was accessible. It would be easy to enter and +retire without notice; and this, not without some waverings and +misgivings, I presently determined to do. + +Having deposited my letter at the office, I proceeded to my late abode. +I approached, and lifted the latch with caution. There were no +appearances of any one having been disturbed. I procured a light in the +kitchen, and hied softly and with dubious footsteps to my chamber. There +I disrobed, and resumed my check shirt, and trowsers, and fustian coat. +This change being accomplished, nothing remained but that I should +strike into the country with the utmost expedition. + +In a momentary review which I took of the past, the design for which +Welbeck professed to have originally detained me in his service occurred +to my mind. I knew the danger of reasoning loosely on the subject of +property. To any trinket or piece of furniture in this house I did not +allow myself to question the right of Mrs. Wentworth; a right accruing +to her in consequence of Welbeck's failure in the payment of his rent; +but there was one thing which I felt an irresistible desire, and no +scruples which should forbid me, to possess, and that was, the +manuscript to which Welbeck had alluded, as having been written by the +deceased Lodi. + +I was well instructed in Latin, and knew the Tuscan language to be +nearly akin to it. I despaired not of being at some time able to +cultivate this language, and believed that the possession of this +manuscript might essentially contribute to this end, as well as to many +others equally beneficial. It was easy to conjecture that the volume was +to be found among his printed books, and it was scarcely less easy to +ascertain the truth of this conjecture. I entered, not without tremulous +sensations, into the apartment which had been the scene of the +disastrous interview between Watson and Welbeck. At every step I almost +dreaded to behold the spectre of the former rise before me. + +Numerous and splendid volumes were arranged on mahogany shelves, and +screened by doors of glass. I ran swiftly over their names, and was at +length so fortunate as to light upon the book of which I was in search. +I immediately secured it, and, leaving the candle extinguished on a +table in the parlour, I once more issued forth into the street. With +light steps and palpitating heart I turned my face towards the country. +My necessitous condition I believed would justify me in passing without +payment the Schuylkill bridge, and the eastern sky began to brighten +with the dawn of morning not till I had gained the distance of nine +miles from the city. + +Such is the tale which I proposed to relate to you. Such are the +memorable incidents of five days of my life; from which I have gathered +more instruction than from the whole tissue of my previous existence. +Such are the particulars of my knowledge respecting the crimes and +misfortunes of Welbeck; which the insinuations of Wortley, and my desire +to retain your good opinion, have induced me to unfold. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + + +Mervyn's pause allowed his auditors to reflect on the particulars of his +narration, and to compare them with the facts with a knowledge of which +their own observation had supplied them. My profession introduced me to +the friendship of Mrs. Wentworth, by whom, after the disappearance of +Welbeck, many circumstances respecting him had been mentioned. She +particularly dwelt upon the deportment and appearance of this youth, at +the single interview which took place between them, and her +representations were perfectly conformable to those which Mervyn had +himself delivered. + +Previously to this interview, Welbeck had insinuated to her that a +recent event had put him in possession of the truth respecting the +destiny of Clavering. A kinsman of his had arrived from Portugal, by +whom this intelligence had been brought. He dexterously eluded her +entreaties to be furnished with minuter information, or to introduce +this kinsman to her acquaintance. As soon as Mervyn was ushered into her +presence, she suspected him to be the person to whom Welbeck had +alluded, and this suspicion his conversation had confirmed. She was at a +loss to comprehend the reasons of the silence which he so pertinaciously +maintained. + +Her uneasiness, however, prompted her to renew her solicitations. On the +day subsequent to the catastrophe related by Mervyn, she sent a +messenger to Welbeck, with a request to see him. Gabriel, the black +servant, informed the messenger that his master had gone into the +country for a week. At the end of the week, a messenger was again +despatched with the same errand. He called and knocked, but no one +answered his signals. He examined the entrance by the kitchen, but +every avenue was closed. It appeared that the house was wholly deserted. + +These appearances naturally gave birth to curiosity and suspicion. The +house was repeatedly examined, but the solitude and silence within +continued the same. The creditors of Welbeck were alarmed by these +appearances, and their claims to the property remaining in the house +were precluded by Mrs. Wentworth, who, as owner of the mansion, was +legally entitled to the furniture, in place of the rent which Welbeck +had suffered to accumulate. + +On examining the dwelling, all that was valuable and portable, +particularly linen and plate, was removed. The remainder was distrained, +but the tumults of pestilence succeeded and hindered it from being sold. +Things were allowed to continue in their former situation, and the house +was carefully secured. We had no leisure to form conjectures on the +causes of this desertion. An explanation was afforded us by the +narrative of this youth. It is probable that the servants, finding their +master's absence continue, had pillaged the house and fled. + +Meanwhile, though our curiosity with regard to Welbeck was appeased, it +was obvious to inquire by what series of inducements and events Mervyn +was reconducted to the city and led to the spot where I first met with +him. We intimated our wishes in this respect, and our young friend +readily consented to take up the thread of his story and bring it down +to the point that was desired. For this purpose, the ensuing evening was +selected. Having, at an early hour, shut ourselves up from all intruders +and visitors, he continued as follows. + + * * * * * + +I have mentioned that, by sunrise, I had gained the distance of many +miles from the city. My purpose was to stop at the first farm-house, and +seek employment as a day-labourer. The first person whom I observed was +a man of placid mien and plain garb. Habitual benevolence was apparent +amidst the wrinkles of age. He was traversing his buckwheat-field, and +measuring, as it seemed, the harvest that was now nearly ripe. + +I accosted him with diffidence, and explained my wishes. He listened to +my tale with complacency, inquired into my name and family, and into my +qualifications for the office to which I aspired. My answers were candid +and full. + +"Why," said he, "I believe thou and I can make a bargain. We will, at +least, try each other for a week or two. If it does not suit our mutual +convenience, we can change. The morning is damp and cool, and thy plight +does not appear the most comfortable that can be imagined. Come to the +house and eat some breakfast." + +The behaviour of this good man filled me with gratitude and joy. +Methought I could embrace him as a father, and entrance into his house +appeared like return to a long-lost and much-loved home. My desolate and +lonely condition appeared to be changed for paternal regards and the +tenderness of friendship. + +These emotions were confirmed and heightened by every object that +presented itself under this roof. The family consisted of Mrs. Hadwin, +two simple and affectionate girls, his daughters, and servants. The +manners of this family, quiet, artless, and cordial, the occupations +allotted me, the land by which the dwelling was surrounded, its pure +airs, romantic walks, and exhaustless fertility, constituted a powerful +contrast to the scenes which I had left behind, and were congenial with +every dictate of my understanding and every sentiment that glowed in my +heart. + +My youth, mental cultivation, and circumspect deportment, entitled me to +deference and confidence. Each hour confirmed me in the good opinion of +Mr. Hadwin, and in the affections of his daughters. In the mind of my +employer, the simplicity of the husbandman and the devotion of the +Quaker were blended with humanity and intelligence. The sisters, Susan +and Eliza, were unacquainted with calamity and vice through the medium +of either observation or books. They were strangers to the benefits of +an elaborate education, but they were endowed with curiosity and +discernment, and had not suffered their slender means of instruction to +remain unimproved. + +The sedateness of the elder formed an amusing contrast with the laughing +eye and untamable vivacity of the younger; but they smiled and they +wept in unison. They thought and acted in different but not discordant +keys. On all momentous occasions, they reasoned and felt alike. In +ordinary cases, they separated, as it were, into different tracks; but +this diversity was productive not of jarring, but of harmony. + +A romantic and untutored disposition like mine may be supposed liable to +strong impressions from perpetual converse with persons of their age and +sex. The elder was soon discovered to have already disposed of her +affections. The younger was free, and somewhat that is more easily +conceived than named stole insensibly upon my heart. The images that +haunted me at home and abroad, in her absence and her presence, +gradually coalesced into one shape, and gave birth to an incessant train +of latent palpitations and indefinable hopes. My days were little else +than uninterrupted reveries, and night only called up phantoms more +vivid and equally enchanting. + +The memorable incidents which had lately happened scarcely counterpoised +my new sensations or diverted my contemplations from the present. My +views were gradually led to rest upon futurity, and in that I quickly +found cause of circumspection and dread. My present labours were light, +and were sufficient for my subsistence in a single state; but wedlock +was the parent of new wants and of new cares. Mr. Hadwin's possessions +were adequate to his own frugal maintenance, but, divided between his +children, would be too scanty for either. Besides, this division could +only take place at his death, and that was an event whose speedy +occurrence was neither desirable nor probable. + +Another obstacle was now remembered. Hadwin was the conscientious member +of a sect which forbade the marriage of its votaries with those of a +different communion. I had been trained in an opposite creed, and +imagined it impossible that I should ever become a proselyte to +Quakerism. It only remained for me to feign conversion, or to root out +the opinions of my friend and win her consent to a secret marriage. +Whether hypocrisy was eligible was no subject of deliberation. If the +possession of all that ambition can conceive were added to the +transports of union with Eliza Hadwin, and offered as the price of +dissimulation, it would have been instantly rejected. My external goods +were not abundant nor numerous, but the consciousness of rectitude was +mine; and, in competition with this, the luxury of the heart and of the +senses, the gratifications of boundless ambition and inexhaustible +wealth, were contemptible and frivolous. + +The conquest of Eliza's errors was easy; but to introduce discord and +sorrow into this family was an act of the utmost ingratitude and +profligacy. It was only requisite for my understanding clearly to +discern, to be convinced of the insuperability of this obstacle. It was +manifest, therefore, that the point to which my wishes tended was placed +beyond my reach. + +To foster my passion was to foster a disease destructive either of my +integrity or my existence. It was indispensable to fix my thoughts upon +a different object, and to debar myself even from her intercourse. To +ponder on themes foreign to my darling image, and to seclude myself from +her society, at hours which had usually been spent with her, were +difficult tasks. The latter was the least practicable. I had to contend +with eyes which alternately wondered at and upbraided me for my +unkindness. She was wholly unaware of the nature of her own feelings, +and this ignorance made her less scrupulous in the expression of her +sentiments. + +Hitherto I had needed not employment beyond myself and my companions. +Now my new motives made me eager to discover some means of controlling +and beguiling my thoughts. In this state, the manuscript of Lodi +occurred to me. In my way hither, I had resolved to make the study of +the language of this book, and the translation of its contents into +English, the business and solace of my leisure. Now this resolution was +revived with new force. + +My project was perhaps singular. The ancient language of Italy possessed +a strong affinity with the modern. My knowledge of the former was my +only means of gaining the latter. I had no grammar or vocabulary to +explain how far the meanings and inflections of Tuscan words varied +from the Roman dialect. I was to ponder on each sentence and phrase; to +select among different conjectures the most plausible, and to ascertain +the true by patient and repeated scrutiny. + +This undertaking, fantastic and impracticable as it may seem, proved, +upon experiment, to be within the compass of my powers. The detail of my +progress would be curious and instructive. What impediments, in the +attainment of a darling purpose, human ingenuity and patience are able +to surmount; how much may be done by strenuous and solitary efforts; how +the mind, unassisted, may draw forth the principles of inflection and +arrangement; may profit by remote, analogous, and latent similitudes, +would be forcibly illustrated by my example; but the theme, however +attractive, must, for the present, be omitted. + +My progress was slow; but the perception of hourly improvement afforded +me unspeakable pleasure. Having arrived near the last pages, I was able +to pursue, with little interruption, the thread of an eloquent +narration. The triumph of a leader of outlaws over the popular +enthusiasm of the Milanese and the claims of neighbouring potentates was +about to be depicted. The _Condottiero_ Sforza had taken refuge from his +enemies in a tomb, accidentally discovered amidst the ruins of a Roman +fortress in the Apennines. He had sought this recess for the sake of +concealment, but found in it a treasure by which he would be enabled to +secure the wavering and venal faith of that crew of ruffians that +followed his standard, provided he fell not into the hands of the +enemies who were now in search of him. + +My tumultuous curiosity was suddenly checked by the following leaves +being glued together at the edges. To dissever them without injury to +the written spaces was by no means easy. I proceeded to the task, not +without precipitation. The edges were torn away, and the leaves parted. + +It may be thought that I took up the thread where it had been broken; +but no. The object that my eyes encountered, and which the cemented +leaves had so long concealed, was beyond the power of the most +capricious or lawless fancy to have prefigured; yet it bore a shadowy +resemblance to the images with which my imagination was previously +occupied. I opened, and beheld--_a bank-note_! + +To the first transports of surprise, the conjecture succeeded, that the +remaining leaves, cemented together in the same manner, might enclose +similar bills. They were hastily separated, and the conjecture was +verified. My sensations at this discovery were of an inexplicable kind. +I gazed at the notes in silence. I moved my finger over them; held them +in different positions; read and reread the name of each sum, and the +signature; added them together, and repeated to myself--"_Twenty +thousand dollars!_ They are mine, and by such means!" + +This sum would have redeemed the fallen fortunes of Welbeck. The dying +Lodi was unable to communicate all the contents of this inestimable +volume. He had divided his treasure, with a view to its greater safety, +between this volume and his pocket-book. Death hasted upon him too +suddenly to allow him to explain his precautions. Welbeck had placed the +book in his collection, purposing some time to peruse it; but, deterred +by anxieties which the perusal would have dissipated, he rushed to +desperation and suicide, from which some evanescent contingency, by +unfolding this treasure to his view, would have effectually rescued him. + +But was this event to be regretted? This sum, like the former, would +probably have been expended in the same pernicious prodigality. His +career would have continued some time longer; but his inveterate habits +would have finally conducted his existence to the same criminal and +ignominious close. + +But the destiny of Welbeck was accomplished. The money was placed, +without guilt or artifice, in my possession. My fortune had been thus +unexpectedly and wondrously propitious. How was I to profit by her +favour? Would not this sum enable me to gather round me all the +instruments of pleasure? Equipage, and palace, and a multitude of +servants; polished mirrors, splendid hangings, banquets, and flatterers, +were equally abhorrent to my taste and my principles. The accumulation +of knowledge, and the diffusion of happiness, in which riches may be +rendered eminently instrumental, were the only precepts of duty, and the +only avenues to genuine felicity. + +"But what," said I, "is my title to this money? By retaining it, shall I +not be as culpable as Welbeck? It came into his possession, as it came +into mine, without a crime; but my knowledge of the true proprietor is +equally certain, and the claims of the unfortunate stranger are as valid +as ever. Indeed, if utility, and not law, be the measure of justice, her +claim, desolate and indigent as she is, unfitted, by her past life, by +the softness and the prejudices of her education, for contending with +calamity, is incontestable. + +"As to me, health and diligence will give me, not only the competence +which I seek, but the power of enjoying it. If my present condition be +unchangeable, I shall not be unhappy. My occupations are salutary and +meritorious; I am a stranger to the cares as well as to the enjoyment of +riches; abundant means of knowledge are possessed by me, as long as I +have eyes to gaze at man and at nature, as they are exhibited in their +original forms or in books. The precepts of my duty cannot be mistaken. +The lady must be sought and the money restored to her." + +Certain obstacles existed to the immediate execution of this scheme. How +should I conduct my search? What apology should I make for withdrawing +thus abruptly, and contrary to the terms of an agreement into which I +had lately entered, from the family and service of my friend and +benefactor Hadwin? + +My thoughts were called away from pursuing these inquiries by a rumour, +which had gradually swelled to formidable dimensions; and which, at +length, reached us in our quiet retreats. The city, we were told, was +involved in confusion and panic, for a pestilential disease had begun +its destructive progress. Magistrates and citizens were flying to the +country. The numbers of the sick multiplied beyond all example; even in +the pest-affected cities of the Levant. The malady was malignant and +unsparing. + +The usual occupations and amusements of life were at an end. Terror had +exterminated all the sentiments of nature. Wives were deserted by +husbands, and children by parents. Some had shut themselves in their +houses, and debarred themselves from all communication with the rest of +mankind. The consternation of others had destroyed their understanding, +and their misguided steps hurried them into the midst of the danger +which they had previously laboured to shun. Men were seized by this +disease in the streets; passengers fled from them; entrance into their +own dwellings was denied to them; they perished in the public ways. + +The chambers of disease were deserted, and the sick left to die of +negligence. None could be found to remove the lifeless bodies. Their +remains, suffered to decay by piecemeal, filled the air with deadly +exhalations, and added tenfold to the devastation. + +Such was the tale, distorted and diversified a thousand ways by the +credulity and exaggeration of the tellers. At first I listened to the +story with indifference or mirth. Methought it was confuted by its own +extravagance. The enormity and variety of such an evil made it unworthy +to be believed. I expected that every new day would detect the absurdity +and fallacy of such representations. Every new day, however, added to +the number of witnesses and the consistency of the tale, till, at +length, it was not possible to withhold my faith. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + + +This rumour was of a nature to absorb and suspend the whole soul. A +certain sublimity is connected with enormous dangers that imparts to our +consternation or our pity a tincture of the pleasing. This, at least, +may be experienced by those who are beyond the verge of peril. My own +person was exposed to no hazard. I had leisure to conjure up terrific +images, and to personate the witnesses and sufferers of this calamity. +This employment was not enjoined upon me by necessity, but was ardently +pursued, and must therefore have been recommended by some nameless +charm. + +Others were very differently affected. As often as the tale was +embellished with new incidents or enforced by new testimony, the hearer +grew pale, his breath was stifled by inquietudes, his blood was chilled, +and his stomach was bereaved of its usual energies. A temporary +indisposition was produced in many. Some were haunted by a melancholy +bordering upon madness, and some, in consequence of sleepless panics, +for which no cause could be assigned, and for which no opiates could be +found, were attacked by lingering or mortal diseases. + +Mr. Hadwin was superior to groundless apprehensions. His daughters, +however, partook in all the consternation which surrounded them. The +eldest had, indeed, abundant reason for her terror. The youth to whom +she was betrothed resided in the city. A year previous to this, he had +left the house of Mr. Hadwin, who was his uncle, and had removed to +Philadelphia in pursuit of fortune. + +He made himself clerk to a merchant, and, by some mercantile adventures +in which he had successfully engaged, began to flatter himself with +being able, in no long time, to support a family. Meanwhile, a tender +and constant correspondence was maintained between him and his beloved +Susan. This girl was a soft enthusiast, in whose bosom devotion and love +glowed with an ardour that has seldom been exceeded. + +The first tidings of the _yellow fever_ was heard by her with +unspeakable perturbation. Wallace was interrogated, by letter, +respecting its truth. For a time, he treated it as a vague report. At +length, a confession was extorted from him that there existed a +pestilential disease in the city; but he added that it was hitherto +confined to one quarter, distant from the place of his abode. + +The most pathetic entreaties were urged by her that he would withdraw +into the country. He declared his resolution to comply when the street +in which he lived should become infected and his stay should be attended +with real danger. He stated how much his interests depended upon the +favour of his present employer, who had used the most powerful arguments +to detain him, but declared that, when his situation should become, in +the least degree, perilous, he would slight every consideration of +gratitude and interest, and fly to _Malverton_. Meanwhile, he promised +to communicate tidings of his safety by every opportunity. + +Belding, Mr. Hadwin's next neighbour, though not uninfected by the +general panic, persisted to visit the city daily with his _market-cart_. +He set out by sunrise, and usually returned by noon. By him a letter was +punctually received by Susan. As the hour of Belding's return +approached, her impatience and anxiety increased. The daily epistle was +received and read, in a transport of eagerness. For a while her emotion +subsided, but returned with augmented vehemence at noon on the ensuing +day. + +These agitations were too vehement for a feeble constitution like hers. +She renewed her supplications to Wallace to quit the city. He repeated +his assertions of being, hitherto, secure, and his promise of coming +when the danger should be imminent. When Belding returned, and, instead +of being accompanied by Wallace, merely brought a letter from him, the +unhappy Susan would sink into fits of lamentation and weeping, and repel +every effort to console her with an obstinacy that partook of madness. +It was, at length, manifest that Wallace's delays would be fatally +injurious to the health of his mistress. + +Mr. Hadwin had hitherto been passive. He conceived that the entreaties +and remonstrances of his daughter were more likely to influence the +conduct of Wallace than any representations which he could make. Now, +however, he wrote the contumacious Wallace a letter, in which he laid +his commands upon him to return in company with Belding, and declared +that by a longer delay the youth would forfeit his favour. + +The malady had, at this time, made considerable progress. Belding's +interest at length yielded to his fears, and this was the last journey +which he proposed to make. Hence our impatience for the return of +Wallace was augmented; since, if this opportunity were lost, no suitable +conveyance might again be offered him. + +Belding set out, as usual, at the dawn of day. The customary interval +between his departure and return was spent by Susan in a tumult of hopes +and fears. As noon approached, her suspense arose to a pitch of wildness +and agony. She could scarcely be restrained from running along the road, +many miles, towards the city; that she might, by meeting Belding +half-way, the sooner ascertain the fate of her lover. She stationed +herself at a window which overlooked the road along which Belding was to +pass. + +Her sister and her father, though less impatient, marked, with painful +eagerness, the first sound of the approaching vehicle. They snatched a +look at it as soon as it appeared in sight. Belding was without a +companion. + +This confirmation of her fears overwhelmed the unhappy Susan. She sunk +into a fit, from which, for a long time, her recovery was hopeless. This +was succeeded by paroxysms of a furious insanity, in which she +attempted to snatch any pointed implement which lay within her reach, +with a view to destroy herself. These being carefully removed, or +forcibly wrested from her, she resigned herself to sobs and +exclamations. + +Having interrogated Belding, he informed us that he occupied his usual +post in the market-place; that heretofore Wallace had duly sought him +out, and exchanged letters; but that, on this morning, the young man had +not made his appearance, though Belding had been induced, by his wish to +see him, to prolong his stay in the city much beyond the usual period. + +That some other cause than sickness had occasioned this omission was +barely possible. There was scarcely room for the most sanguine temper to +indulge a hope. Wallace was without kindred, and probably without +friends, in the city. The merchant in whose service he had placed +himself was connected with him by no considerations but that of +interest. What then must be his situation when seized with a malady +which all believed to be contagious, and the fear of which was able to +dissolve the strongest ties that bind human beings together? + +I was personally a stranger to this youth. I had seen his letters, and +they bespoke, not indeed any great refinement or elevation of +intelligence, but a frank and generous spirit, to which I could not +refuse my esteem; but his chief claim to my affection consisted in his +consanguinity to Mr. Hadwin, and his place in the affections of Susan. +His welfare was essential to the happiness of those whose happiness had +become essential to mine. I witnessed the outrages of despair in the +daughter, and the symptoms of a deep but less violent grief in the +sister and parent. Was it not possible for me to alleviate their pangs? +Could not the fate of Wallace be ascertained? + +This disease assailed men with different degrees of malignity. In its +worst form perhaps it was incurable; but, in some of its modes, it was +doubtless conquerable by the skill of physicians and the fidelity of +nurses. In its least formidable symptoms, negligence and solitude would +render it fatal. + +Wallace might, perhaps, experience this pest in its most lenient +degree; but the desertion of all mankind, the want not only of medicines +but of food, would irrevocably seal his doom. My imagination was +incessantly pursued by the image of this youth, perishing alone, and in +obscurity; calling on the name of distant friends, or invoking, +ineffectually, the succour of those who were near. + +Hitherto distress had been contemplated at a distance, and through the +medium of a fancy delighting to be startled by the wonderful, or +transported by sublimity. Now the calamity had entered my own doors, +imaginary evils were supplanted by real, and my heart was the seat of +commiseration and horror. + +I found myself unfit for recreation or employment. I shrouded myself in +the gloom of the neighbouring forest, or lost myself in the maze of +rocks and dells. I endeavoured, in vain, to shut out the phantoms of the +dying Wallace, and to forget the spectacle of domestic woes. At length +it occurred to me to ask, May not this evil be obviated, and the +felicity of the Hadwins re-established? Wallace is friendless and +succourless; but cannot I supply to him the place of protector and +nurse? Why not hasten to the city, search out his abode, and ascertain +whether he be living or dead? If he still retain life, may I not, by +consolation and attendance, contribute to the restoration of his health, +and conduct him once more to the bosom of his family? + +With what transports will his arrival be hailed! How amply will their +impatience and their sorrow be compensated by his return! In the +spectacle of their joys, how rapturous and pure will be my delight! Do +the benefits which I have received from the Hadwins demand a less +retribution than this? + +It is true that my own life will be endangered; but my danger will be +proportioned to the duration of my stay in this seat of infection. The +death or the flight of Wallace may absolve me from the necessity of +spending one night in the city. The rustics who daily frequent the +market are, as experience proves, exempt from this disease; in +consequence, perhaps, of limiting their continuance in the city to a few +hours. May I not, in this respect, conform to their example, and enjoy +a similar exemption? + +My stay, however, may be longer than the day. I may be condemned to +share in the common destiny. What then? Life is dependent on a thousand +contingencies, not to be computed or foreseen. The seeds of an early and +lingering death are sown in my constitution. It is in vain to hope to +escape the malady by which my mother and my brothers have died. We are a +race whose existence some inherent property has limited to the short +space of twenty years. We are exposed, in common with the rest of +mankind, to innumerable casualties; but, if these be shunned, we are +unalterably fated to perish by _consumption_. Why then should I scruple +to lay down my life in the cause of virtue and humanity? It is better to +die in the consciousness of having offered an heroic sacrifice, to die +by a speedy stroke, than by the perverseness of nature, in ignominious +inactivity and lingering agonies. + +These considerations determined me to hasten to the city. To mention my +purpose to the Hadwins would be useless or pernicious. It would only +augment the sum of their present anxieties. I should meet with a +thousand obstacles in the tenderness and terror of Eliza, and in the +prudent affection of her father. Their arguments I should be condemned +to hear, but should not be able to confute; and should only load myself +with imputations of perverseness and temerity. + +But how else should I explain my absence? I had hitherto preserved my +lips untainted by prevarication or falsehood. Perhaps there was no +occasion which would justify an untruth; but here, at least, it was +superfluous or hurtful. My disappearance, if effected without notice or +warning, will give birth to speculation and conjecture; but my true +motives will never be suspected, and therefore will excite no fears. My +conduct will not be charged with guilt. It will merely be thought upon +with some regret, which will be alleviated by the opinion of my safety, +and the daily expectation of my return. + +But, since my purpose was to search out Wallace, I must be previously +furnished with directions to the place of his abode, and a description +of his person. Satisfaction on this head was easily obtained from Mr. +Hadwin; who was prevented from suspecting the motives of my curiosity, +by my questions being put in a manner apparently casual. He mentioned +the street, and the number of the house. + +I listened with surprise. It was a house with which I was already +familiar. He resided, it seems, with a merchant. Was it possible for me +to be mistaken? + +What, I asked, was the merchant's name? + +_Thetford._ + +This was a confirmation of my first conjecture. I recollected the +extraordinary means by which I had gained access to the house and +bedchamber of this gentleman. I recalled the person and appearance of +the youth by whose artifices I had been entangled in the snare. These +artifices implied some domestic or confidential connection between +Thetford and my guide. Wallace was a member of the family. Could it be +he by whom I was betrayed? + +Suitable questions easily obtained from Hadwin a description of the +person and carriage of his nephew. Every circumstance evinced the +identity of their persons. Wallace, then, was the engaging and sprightly +youth whom I had encountered at Lesher's; and who, for purposes not +hitherto discoverable, had led me into a situation so romantic and +perilous. + +I was far from suspecting that these purposes were criminal. It was easy +to infer that his conduct proceeded from juvenile wantonness and a love +of sport. My resolution was unaltered by this disclosure; and, having +obtained all the information which I needed, I secretly began my +journey. + +My reflections, on the way, were sufficiently employed in tracing the +consequences of my project; in computing the inconveniences and dangers +to which I was preparing to subject myself; in fortifying my courage +against the influence of rueful sights and abrupt transitions; and in +imagining the measures which it would be proper to pursue in every +emergency. + +Connected as these views were with the family and character of +Thetford, I could not but sometimes advert to those incidents which +formerly happened. The mercantile alliance between him and Welbeck was +remembered; the allusions which were made to the condition of the latter +in the chamber-conversation of which I was an unsuspected auditor; and +the relation which these allusions might possess with subsequent +occurrences. Welbeck's property was forfeited. It had been confided to +the care of Thetford's brother. Had the cause of this forfeiture been +truly or thoroughly explained? Might not contraband articles have been +admitted through the management or under the connivance of the brothers? +and might not the younger Thetford be furnished with the means of +purchasing the captured vessel and her cargo,--which, as usual, would be +sold by auction at a fifth or tenth of its real value? + +Welbeck was not alive to profit by the detection of this artifice, +admitting these conclusions to be just. My knowledge will be useless to +the world; for by what motives can I be influenced to publish the truth? +or by whom will my single testimony be believed, in opposition to that +plausible exterior, and, perhaps, to that general integrity, which +Thetford has maintained? To myself it will not be unprofitable. It is a +lesson on the principles of human nature; on the delusiveness of +appearances; on the perviousness of fraud; and on the power with which +nature has invested human beings over the thoughts and actions of each +other. + +Thetford and his frauds were dismissed from my thoughts, to give place +to considerations relative to Clemenza Lodi, and the money which chance +had thrown into my possession. Time had only confirmed my purpose to +restore these bills to the rightful proprietor, and heightened my +impatience to discover her retreat. I reflected, that the means of doing +this were more likely to suggest themselves at the place to which I was +going than elsewhere. I might, indeed, perish before my views, in this +respect, could be accomplished. Against these evils I had at present no +power to provide. While I lived, I would bear perpetually about me the +volume and its precious contents. If I died, a superior power must +direct the course of this as of all other events. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + + +These meditations did not enfeeble my resolution, or slacken my pace. In +proportion as I drew near the city, the tokens of its calamitous +condition became more apparent. Every farm-house was filled with +supernumerary tenants, fugitives from home, and haunting the skirts of +the road, eager to detain every passenger with inquiries after news. The +passengers were numerous; for the tide of emigration was by no means +exhausted. Some were on foot, bearing in their countenances the tokens +of their recent terror, and filled with mournful reflections on the +forlornness of their state. Few had secured to themselves an asylum; +some were without the means of paying for victuals or lodging for the +coming night; others, who were not thus destitute, yet knew not whither +to apply for entertainment, every house being already overstocked with +inhabitants, or barring its inhospitable doors at their approach. + +Families of weeping mothers and dismayed children, attended with a few +pieces of indispensable furniture, were carried in vehicles of every +form. The parent or husband had perished; and the price of some movable, +or the pittance handed forth by public charity, had been expended to +purchase the means of retiring from this theatre of disasters, though +uncertain and hopeless of accommodation in the neighbouring districts. + +Between these and the fugitives whom curiosity had led to the road, +dialogues frequently took place, to which I was suffered to listen. From +every mouth the tale of sorrow was repeated with new aggravations. +Pictures of their own distress, or of that of their neighbours, were +exhibited in all the hues which imagination can annex to pestilence and +poverty. + +My preconceptions of the evil now appeared to have fallen short of the +truth. The dangers into which I was rushing seemed more numerous and +imminent than I had previously imagined. I wavered not in my purpose. A +panic crept to my heart, which more vehement exertions were necessary to +subdue or control; but I harboured not a momentary doubt that the course +which I had taken was prescribed by duty. There was no difficulty or +reluctance in proceeding. All for which my efforts were demanded was to +walk in this path without tumult or alarm. + +Various circumstances had hindered me from setting out upon this journey +as early as was proper. My frequent pauses to listen to the narratives +of travellers contributed likewise to procrastination. The sun had +nearly set before I reached the precincts of the city. I pursued the +track which I had formerly taken, and entered High Street after +nightfall. Instead of equipages and a throng of passengers, the voice of +levity and glee, which I had formerly observed, and which the mildness +of the season would, at other times, have produced, I found nothing but +a dreary solitude. + +The market-place, and each side of this magnificent avenue, were +illuminated, as before, by lamps; but between the verge of Schuylkill +and the heart of the city I met not more than a dozen figures; and these +were ghost-like, wrapped in cloaks, from behind which they cast upon me +glances of wonder and suspicion, and, as I approached, changed their +course, to avoid touching me. Their clothes were sprinkled with vinegar, +and their nostrils defended from contagion by some powerful perfume. + +I cast a look upon the houses, which I recollected to have formerly +been, at this hour, brilliant with lights, resounding with lively +voices, and thronged with busy faces. Now they were closed, above and +below; dark, and without tokens of being inhabited. From the upper +windows of some, a gleam sometimes fell upon the pavement I was +traversing, and showed that their tenants had not fled, but were +secluded or disabled. + +These tokens were new, and awakened all my panics. Death seemed to +hover over this scene, and I dreaded that the floating pestilence had +already lighted on my frame. I had scarcely overcome these tremors, when +I approached a house the door of which was opened, and before which +stood a vehicle, which I presently recognised to be a _hearse_. + +The driver was seated on it. I stood still to mark his visage, and to +observe the course which he proposed to take. Presently a coffin, borne +by two men, issued from the house. The driver was a negro; but his +companions were white. Their features were marked by ferocious +indifference to danger or pity. One of them, as he assisted in thrusting +the coffin into the cavity provided for it, said, "I'll be damned if I +think the poor dog was quite dead. It wasn't the _fever_ that ailed him, +but the sight of the girl and her mother on the floor. I wonder how they +all got into that room. What carried them there?" + +The other surlily muttered, "Their legs, to-be-sure." + +"But what should they hug together in one room for?" + +"To save us trouble, to-be-sure." + +"And I thank them with all my heart; but, damn it, it wasn't right to +put him in his coffin before the breath was fairly gone. I thought the +last look he gave me told me to stay a few minutes." + +"Pshaw! He could not live. The sooner dead the better for him; as well +as for us. Did you mark how he eyed us when we carried away his wife and +daughter? I never cried in my life, since I was knee-high, but curse me +if I ever felt in better tune for the business than just then. Hey!" +continued he, looking up, and observing me standing a few paces distant, +and listening to their discourse; "what's wanted? Anybody dead?" + +I stayed not to answer or parley, but hurried forward. My joints +trembled, and cold drops stood on my forehead. I was ashamed of my own +infirmity; and, by vigorous efforts of my reason, regained some degree +of composure. The evening had now advanced, and it behooved me to +procure accommodation at some of the inns. + +These were easily distinguished by their _signs_, but many were without +inhabitants. At length I lighted upon one, the hall of which was open +and the windows lifted. After knocking for some time, a young girl +appeared, with many marks of distress. In answer to my question, she +answered that both her parents were sick, and that they could receive no +one. I inquired, in vain, for any other tavern at which strangers might +be accommodated. She knew of none such, and left me, on someone's +calling to her from above, in the midst of my embarrassment. After a +moment's pause, I returned, discomfited and perplexed, to the street. + + +I proceeded, in a considerable degree, at random. At length I reached a +spacious building in Fourth Street, which the signpost showed me to be +an inn. I knocked loudly and often at the door. At length a female +opened the window of the second story, and, in a tone of peevishness, +demanded what I wanted. I told her that I wanted lodging. + +"Go hunt for it somewhere else," said she; "you'll find none here." I +began to expostulate; but she shut the window with quickness, and left +me to my own reflections. + +I began now to feel some regret at the journey I had taken. Never, in +the depth of caverns or forests, was I equally conscious of loneliness. +I was surrounded by the habitations of men; but I was destitute of +associate or friend. I had money, but a horse-shelter, or a morsel of +food, could not be purchased. I came for the purpose of relieving +others, but stood in the utmost need myself. Even in health my condition +was helpless and forlorn; but what would become of me should this fatal +malady be contracted? To hope that an asylum would be afforded to a sick +man, which was denied to one in health, was unreasonable. + +The first impulse which flowed from these reflections was to hasten back +to _Malverton_; which, with sufficient diligence, I might hope to regain +before the morning light. I could not, methought, return upon my steps +with too much speed. I was prompted to run, as if the pest was rushing +upon me and could be eluded only by the most precipitate flight. + +This impulse was quickly counteracted by new ideas. I thought with +indignation and shame on the imbecility of my proceeding. I called up +the images of Susan Hadwin, and of Wallace. I reviewed the motives which +had led me to the undertaking of this journey. Time had, by no means, +diminished their force. I had, indeed, nearly arrived at the +accomplishment of what I had intended. A few steps would carry me to +Thetford's habitation. This might be the critical moment when succour +was most needed and would be most efficacious. + +I had previously concluded to defer going thither till the ensuing +morning; but why should I allow myself a moment's delay? I might at +least gain an external view of the house, and circumstances might arise +which would absolve me from the obligation of remaining an hour longer +in the city. All for which I came might be performed; the destiny of +Wallace be ascertained; and I be once more safe within the precincts of +_Malverton_ before the return of day. + +I immediately directed my steps towards the habitation of Thetford. +Carriages bearing the dead were frequently discovered. A few passengers +likewise occurred, whose hasty and perturbed steps denoted their +participation in the common distress. The house of which I was in quest +quickly appeared. Light from an upper window indicated that it was still +inhabited. + +I paused a moment to reflect in what manner it became me to proceed. To +ascertain the existence and condition of Wallace was the purpose of my +journey. He had inhabited this house; and whether he remained in it was +now to be known. I felt repugnance to enter, since my safety might, by +entering, be unawares and uselessly endangered. Most of the neighbouring +houses were apparently deserted. In some there were various tokens of +people being within. Might I not inquire, at one of these, respecting +the condition of Thetford's family? Yet why should I disturb them by +inquiries so impertinent at this unseasonable hour? To knock at +Thetford's door, and put my questions to him who should obey the signal, +was the obvious method. + +I knocked dubiously and lightly. No one came. I knocked again, and more +loudly; I likewise drew the bell. I distinctly heard its distant peals. +If any were within, my signal could not fail to be noticed. I paused, +and listened, but neither voice nor footsteps could be heard. The light, +though obscured by window-curtains, which seemed to be drawn close, was +still perceptible. + +I ruminated on the causes that might hinder my summons from being +obeyed. I figured to myself nothing but the helplessness of disease, or +the insensibility of death. These images only urged me to persist in +endeavouring to obtain admission. Without weighing the consequences of +my act, I involuntarily lifted the latch. The door yielded to my hand, +and I put my feet within the passage. + +Once more I paused. The passage was of considerable extent, and at the +end of it I perceived light as from a lamp or candle. This impelled me +to go forward, till I reached the foot of a staircase. A candle stood +upon the lowest step. + +This was a new proof that the house was not deserted. I struck my heel +against the floor with some violence; but this, like my former signals, +was unnoticed. Having proceeded thus far, it would have been absurd to +retire with my purpose uneffected. Taking the candle in my hand, I +opened a door that was near. It led into a spacious parlour, furnished +with profusion and splendour. I walked to and fro, gazing at the objects +which presented themselves; and, involved in perplexity, I knocked with +my heel louder than ever; but no less ineffectually. + +Notwithstanding the lights which I had seen, it was possible that the +house was uninhabited. This I was resolved to ascertain, by proceeding +to the chamber which I had observed, from without, to be illuminated. +This chamber, as far as the comparison of circumstances would permit me +to decide, I believed to be the same in which I had passed the first +night of my late abode in the city. Now was I, a second time, in almost +equal ignorance of my situation, and of the consequences which impended, +exploring my way to the same recess. + +I mounted the stair. As I approached the door of which I was in search, +a vapour, infectious and deadly, assailed my senses. It resembled +nothing of which I had ever before been sensible. Many odours had been +met with, even since my arrival in the city, less supportable than this. +I seemed not so much to smell as to taste the element that now +encompassed me. I felt as if I had inhaled a poisonous and subtle fluid, +whose power instantly bereft my stomach of all vigour. Some fatal +influence appeared to seize upon my vitals, and the work of corrosion +and decomposition to be busily begun. + +For a moment, I doubted whether imagination had not some share in +producing my sensation; but I had not been previously panic-struck; and +even now I attended to my own sensations without mental discomposure. +That I had imbibed this disease was not to be questioned. So far the +chances in my favour were annihilated. The lot of sickness was drawn. + +Whether my case would be lenient or malignant, whether I should recover +or perish, was to be left to the decision of the future. This incident, +instead of appalling me, tended rather to invigorate my courage. The +danger which I feared had come. I might enter with indifference on this +theatre of pestilence. I might execute, without faltering, the duties +that my circumstances might create. My state was no longer hazardous; +and my destiny would be totally uninfluenced by my future conduct. + +The pang with which I was first seized, and the momentary inclination to +vomit, which it produced, presently subsided. My wholesome feelings, +indeed, did not revisit me, but strength to proceed was restored to me. +The effluvia became more sensible as I approached the door of the +chamber. The door was ajar; and the light within was perceived. My +belief that those within were dead was presently confuted by sound, +which I first supposed to be that of steps moving quickly and timorously +across the floor. This ceased, and was succeeded by sounds of different +but inexplicable import. + +Having entered the apartment, I saw a candle on the hearth. A table was +covered with vials and other apparatus of a sick-chamber. A bed stood on +one side, the curtain of which was dropped at the foot, so as to conceal +any one within. I fixed my eyes upon this object. There were sufficient +tokens that some one lay upon the bed. Breath, drawn at long intervals; +mutterings scarcely audible; and a tremulous motion in the bedstead, +were fearful and intelligible indications. + +If my heart faltered, it must not be supposed that my trepidations arose +from any selfish considerations. Wallace only, the object of my search, +was present to my fancy. Pervaded with remembrance of the Hadwins; of +the agonies which they had already endured; of the despair which would +overwhelm the unhappy Susan when the death of her lover should be +ascertained; observant of the lonely condition of this house, whence I +could only infer that the sick had been denied suitable attendance; and +reminded, by the symptoms that appeared, that this being was struggling +with the agonies of death; a sickness of the heart, more insupportable +than that which I had just experienced, stole upon me. + +My fancy readily depicted the progress and completion of this tragedy. +Wallace was the first of the family on whom the pestilence had seized. +Thetford had fled from his habitation. Perhaps as a father and husband, +to shun the danger attending his stay was the injunction of his duty. It +was questionless the conduct which selfish regards would dictate. +Wallace was left to perish alone; or, perhaps, (which, indeed, was a +supposition somewhat justified by appearances,) he had been left to the +tendance of mercenary wretches; by whom, at this desperate moment, he +had been abandoned. + +I was not mindless of the possibility that these forebodings, specious +as they were, might be false. The dying person might be some other than +Wallace. The whispers of my hope were, indeed, faint; but they, at +least, prompted me to snatch a look at the expiring man. For this +purpose I advanced and thrust my head within the curtain. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + + +The features of one whom I had seen so transiently as Wallace may be +imagined to be not easily recognised, especially when those features +were tremulous and deathful. Here, however, the differences were too +conspicuous to mislead me. I beheld one in whom I could recollect none +that bore resemblance. Though ghastly and livid, the traces of +intelligence and beauty were undefaced. The life of Wallace was of more +value to a feeble individual; but surely the being that was stretched +before me, and who was hastening to his last breath, was precious to +thousands. + +Was he not one in whose place I would willingly have died? The offering +was too late. His extremities were already cold. A vapour, noisome and +contagious, hovered over him. The flutterings of his pulse had ceased. +His existence was about to close amidst convulsion and pangs. + +I withdrew my gaze from this object, and walked to a table. I was nearly +unconscious of my movements. My thoughts were occupied with +contemplations of the train of horrors and disasters that pursue the +race of man. My musings were quickly interrupted by the sight of a small +cabinet, the hinges of which were broken and the lid half raised. In the +present state of my thoughts, I was prone to suspect the worst. Here +were traces of pillage. Some casual or mercenary attendant had not only +contributed to hasten the death of the patient, but had rifled his +property and fled. + +This suspicion would, perhaps, have yielded to mature reflections, if I +had been suffered to reflect. A moment scarcely elapsed, when some +appearance in the mirror, which hung over the table, called my +attention. It was a human figure. Nothing could be briefer than the +glance that I fixed upon this apparition; yet there was room enough for +the vague conception to suggest itself, that the dying man had started +from his bed and was approaching me. This belief was, at the same +instant, confuted, by the survey of his form and garb. One eye, a scar +upon his cheek, a tawny skin, a form grotesquely misproportioned, brawny +as Hercules, and habited in livery, composed, as it were, the parts of +one view. + +To perceive, to fear, and to confront this apparition were blended into +one sentiment. I turned towards him with the swiftness of lightning; but +my speed was useless to my safety. A blow upon my temple was succeeded +by an utter oblivion of thought and of feeling. I sunk upon the floor +prostrate and senseless. + +My insensibility might be mistaken by observers for death, yet some part +of this interval was haunted by a fearful dream. I conceived myself +lying on the brink of a pit, whose bottom the eye could not reach. My +hands and legs were fettered, so as to disable me from resisting two +grim and gigantic figures who stooped to lift me from the earth. Their +purpose, methought, was to cast me into this abyss. My terrors were +unspeakable, and I struggled with such force, that my bonds snapped and +I found myself at liberty. At this moment my senses returned, and I +opened my eyes. + +The memory of recent events was, for a time, effaced by my visionary +horrors. I was conscious of transition from one state of being to +another; but my imagination was still filled with images of danger. The +bottomless gulf and my gigantic persecutors were still dreaded. I looked +up with eagerness. Beside me I discovered three figures, whose character +or office was explained by a coffin of pine boards which lay upon the +floor. One stood with hammer and nails in his hand, as ready to replace +and fasten the lid of the coffin as soon as its burden should be +received. + +I attempted to rise from the floor, but my head was dizzy and my sight +confused. Perceiving me revive, one of the men assisted me to regain my +feet. The mist and confusion presently vanished, so as to allow me to +stand unsupported and to move. I once more gazed at my attendants, and +recognised the three men whom I had met in High Street, and whose +conversation I have mentioned that I overheard. I looked again upon the +coffin. A wavering recollection of the incidents that led me hither, and +of the stunning blow which I had received, occurred to me. I saw into +what error appearances had misled these men, and shuddered to reflect by +what hairbreadth means I had escaped being buried alive. + +Before the men had time to interrogate me, or to comment upon my +situation, one entered the apartment, whose habit and mien tended to +encourage me. The stranger was characterized by an aspect full of +composure and benignity, a face in which the serious lines of age were +blended with the ruddiness and smoothness of youth, and a garb that +bespoke that religious profession with whose benevolent doctrines the +example of Hadwin had rendered me familiar. + +On observing me on my feet, he betrayed marks of surprise and +satisfaction. He addressed me in a tone of mildness:-- + +"Young man," said he, "what is thy condition? Art thou sick? If thou +art, thou must consent to receive the best treatment which the times +will afford. These men will convey thee to the hospital at Bush Hill." + +The mention of that contagious and abhorred receptacle inspired me with +some degree of energy. "No," said I, "I am not sick; a violent blow +reduced me to this situation. I shall presently recover strength enough +to leave this spot without assistance." + +He looked at me with an incredulous but compassionate air:--"I fear thou +dost deceive thyself or me. The necessity of going to the hospital is +much to be regretted, but, on the whole, it is best. Perhaps, indeed, +thou hast kindred or friends who will take care of thee?" + +"No," said I; "neither kindred nor friends. I am a stranger in the city. +I do not even know a single being." + +"Alas!" returned the stranger, with a sigh, "thy state is sorrowful. +But how camest thou hither?" continued he, looking around him; "and +whence comest thou?" + +"I came from the country. I reached the city a few hours ago. I was in +search of a friend who lived in this house." + +"Thy undertaking was strangely hazardous and rash; but who is the friend +thou seekest? Was it he who died in that bed, and whose corpse has just +been removed?" + +The men now betrayed some impatience; and inquired of the last comer, +whom they called Mr. Estwick, what they were to do. He turned to me, and +asked if I were willing to be conducted to the hospital. + +I assured him that I was free from disease, and stood in no need of +assistance; adding, that my feebleness was owing to a stunning blow +received from a ruffian on my temple. The marks of this blow were +conspicuous, and after some hesitation he dismissed the men; who, +lifting the empty coffin on their shoulders, disappeared. + +He now invited me to descend into the parlour; "for," said he, "the air +of this room is deadly. I feel already as if I should have reason to +repent of having entered it." + +He now inquired into the cause of those appearances which he had +witnessed. I explained my situation as clearly and succinctly as I was +able. + +After pondering, in silence, on my story,--"I see how it is," said he; +"the person whom thou sawest in the agonies of death was a stranger. He +was attended by his servant and a hired nurse. His master's death being +certain, the nurse was despatched by the servant to procure a coffin. He +probably chose that opportunity to rifle his master's trunk, that stood +upon the table. Thy unseasonable entrance interrupted him; and he +designed, by the blow which he gave thee, to secure his retreat before +the arrival of a hearse. I know the man, and the apparition thou hast so +well described was his. Thou sayest that a friend of thine lived in this +house: thou hast come too late to be of service. The whole family have +perished. Not one was suffered to escape." + +This intelligence was fatal to my hopes. It required some efforts to +subdue my rising emotions. Compassion not only for Wallace, but for +Thetford, his father, his wife and his child, caused a passionate +effusion of tears. I was ashamed of this useless and childlike +sensibility; and attempted to apologize to my companion. The sympathy, +however, had proved contagious, and the stranger turned away his face to +hide his own tears. + +"Nay," said he, in answer to my excuses, "there is no need to be ashamed +of thy emotion. Merely to have known this family, and to have witnessed +their deplorable fate, is sufficient to melt the most obdurate heart. I +suspect that thou wast united to some one of this family by ties of +tenderness like those which led the unfortunate _Maravegli_ hither." + +This suggestion was attended, in relation to myself, with some degree of +obscurity; but my curiosity was somewhat excited by the name that he had +mentioned, I inquired into the character and situation of this person, +and particularly respecting his connection with this family. + +"Maravegli," answered he, "was the lover of the eldest daughter, and +already betrothed to her. The whole family, consisting of helpless +females, had placed themselves under his peculiar guardianship. Mary +Walpole and her children enjoyed in him a husband and a father." + +The name of Walpole, to which I was a stranger, suggested doubts which I +hastened to communicate. "I am in search," said I, "not of a female +friend, though not devoid of interest in the welfare of Thetford and his +family. My principal concern is for a youth, by name Wallace." + +He looked at me with surprise. "Thetford! this is not his abode. He +changed his habitation some weeks previous to the _fever_. Those who +last dwelt under this roof were an Englishwoman and seven daughters." + +This detection of my error somewhat consoled me. It was still possible +that Wallace was alive and in safety. I eagerly inquired whither +Thetford had removed, and whether he had any knowledge of his present +condition. + +They had removed to No.--, in Market Street. Concerning their state he +knew nothing. His acquaintance with Thetford was imperfect. Whether he +had left the city or had remained, he was wholly uninformed. + +It became me to ascertain the truth in these respects. I was preparing +to offer my parting thanks to the person by whom I had been so highly +benefited; since, as he now informed me, it was by his interposition +that I was hindered from being enclosed alive in a coffin. He was +dubious of my true condition, and peremptorily commanded the followers +of the hearse to desist. A delay of twenty minutes, and some medical +application, would, he believed, determine whether my life was +extinguished or suspended. At the end of this time, happily, my senses +were recovered. + +Seeing my intention to depart, he inquired why, and whither I was going. +Having heard my answer,--"Thy design," resumed he, "is highly indiscreet +and rash. Nothing will sooner generate this fever than fatigue and +anxiety. Thou hast scarcely recovered from the blow so lately received. +Instead of being useful to others, this precipitation will only disable +thyself. Instead of roaming the streets and inhaling this unwholesome +air, thou hadst better betake thyself to bed and try to obtain some +sleep. In the morning, thou wilt be better qualified to ascertain the +fate of thy friend, and afford him the relief which he shall want." + +I could not but admit the reasonableness of these remonstrances; but +where should a chamber and bed be sought? It was not likely that a new +attempt to procure accommodation at the inns would succeed better than +the former. + +"Thy state," replied he, "is sorrowful. I have no house to which I can +lead thee. I divide my chamber, and even my bed, with another, and my +landlady could not be prevailed upon to admit a stranger. What thou wilt +do, I know not. This house has no one to defend it. It was purchased and +furnished by the last possessor; but the whole family, including +mistress, children, and servants, were cut off in a single week. +Perhaps no one in America can claim the property. Meanwhile, plunderers +are numerous and active. A house thus totally deserted, and replenished +with valuable furniture, will, I fear, become their prey. To-night +nothing can be done towards rendering it secure, but staying in it. Art +thou willing to remain here till the morrow? + +"Every bed in the house has probably sustained a dead person. It would +not be proper, therefore, to lie in any one of them. Perhaps thou mayest +find some repose upon this carpet. It is, at least, better than the +harder pavement and the open air." + +This proposal, after some hesitation, I embraced. He was preparing to +leave me, promising, if life were spared to him, to return early in the +morning. My curiosity respecting the person whose dying agonies I had +witnessed prompted me to detain him a few minutes. + +"Ah!" said he, "this, perhaps, is the only one of many victims to this +pestilence whose loss the remotest generations may have reason to +deplore. He was the only descendant of an illustrious house of Venice. +He has been devoted from his childhood to the acquisition of knowledge +and the practice of virtue. He came hither as an enlightened observer; +and, after traversing the country, conversing with all the men in it +eminent for their talents or their office, and collecting a fund of +observations whose solidity and justice have seldom been paralleled, he +embarked, three months ago, for Europe. + +"Previously to his departure, he formed a tender connection with the +eldest daughter of this family. The mother and her children had recently +arrived from England. So many faultless women, both mentally and +personally considered, it was not my fortune to meet with before. This +youth well deserved to be adopted into this family. He proposed to +return with the utmost expedition to his native country, and, after the +settlement of his affairs, to hasten back to America and ratify his +contract with Fanny Walpole. + +"The ship in which he embarked had scarcely gone twenty leagues to sea, +before she was disabled by a storm, and obliged to return to port. He +posted to New York, to gain a passage in a packet shortly to sail. +Meanwhile this malady prevailed among us. Mary Walpole pole was hindered +by her ignorance of the nature of that evil which assailed us, and the +counsel of injudicious friends, from taking the due precautions for her +safety. She hesitated to fly till flight was rendered impracticable. Her +death added to the helplessness and distraction of the family. They were +successively seized and destroyed by the same pest. + +"Maravegli was apprized of their danger. He allowed the packet to depart +without him, and hastened to rescue the Walpoles from the perils which +encompassed them. He arrived in this city time enough to witness the +interment of the last survivor. In the same hour he was seized himself +by this disease: the catastrophe is known to thee. + +"I will now leave thee to thy repose. Sleep is no less needful to myself +than to thee; for this is the second night which has passed without it." +Saying this, my companion took his leave. + +I now enjoyed leisure to review my situation. I experienced no +inclination to sleep. I lay down for a moment, but my comfortless +sensations and restless contemplations would not permit me to rest. +Before I entered this house, I was tormented with hunger; but my craving +had given place to inquietude and loathing. I paced, in thoughtful and +anxious mood, across the floor of the apartment. + +I mused upon the incidents related by Estwick, upon the exterminating +nature of this pestilence, and on the horrors of which it was +productive. I compared the experience of the last hours with those +pictures which my imagination had drawn in the retirements of +_Malverton_. I wondered at the contrariety that exists between the +scenes of the city and the country; and fostered, with more zeal than +ever, the resolution to avoid those seats of depravity and danger. + +Concerning my own destiny, however, I entertained no doubt. My new +sensations assured me that my stomach had received this corrosive +poison. Whether I should die or live was easily decided. The sickness +which assiduous attendance and powerful prescriptions might remove +would, by negligence and solitude, be rendered fatal; but from whom +could I expect medical or friendly treatment? + +I had indeed a roof over my head. I should not perish in the public way; +but what was my ground for hoping to continue under this roof? My +sickness being suspected, I should be dragged in a cart to the hospital; +where I should, indeed, die, but not with the consolation of loneliness +and silence. Dying groans were the only music, and livid corpses were +the only spectacle, to which I should there be introduced. + +Immured in these dreary meditations, the night passed away. The light +glancing through the window awakened in my bosom a gleam of +cheerfulness. Contrary to my expectations, my feelings were not more +distempered, notwithstanding my want of sleep, than on the last evening. +This was a token that my state was far from being so desperate as I +suspected. It was possible, I thought, that this was the worst +indisposition to which I was liable. + +Meanwhile, the coming of Estwick was impatiently expected. The sun +arose, and the morning advanced, but he came not. I remembered that he +talked of having reason to repent his visit to this house. Perhaps he, +likewise, was sick, and this was the cause of his delay. This man's +kindness had even my love. If I had known the way to his dwelling, I +should have hastened thither, to inquire into his condition, and to +perform for him every office that humanity might enjoin; but he had not +afforded me any information on that head. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + + +It was now incumbent on me to seek the habitation of Thetford. To leave +this house accessible to every passenger appeared to be imprudent. I had +no key by which I might lock the principal door. I therefore bolted it +on the inside, and passed through a window, the shutters of which I +closed, though I could not fasten after me. This led me into a spacious +court, at the end of which was a brick wall, over which I leaped into +the street. This was the means by which I had formerly escaped from the +same precincts. + +The streets, as I passed, were desolate and silent. The largest +computation made the number of fugitives two-thirds of the whole people; +yet, judging by the universal desolation, it seemed as if the solitude +were nearly absolute. That so many of the houses were closed, I was +obliged to ascribe to the cessation of traffic, which made the opening +of their windows useless, and the terror of infection, which made the +inhabitants seclude themselves from the observation of each other. + +I proceeded to search out the house to which Estwick had directed me as +the abode of Thetford. What was my consternation when I found it to be +the same at the door of which the conversation took place of which I had +been an auditor on the last evening! + +I recalled the scene of which a rude sketch had been given by the +_hearse-men_. If such were the fate of the master of the family, +abounding with money and friends, what could be hoped for the moneyless +and friendless Wallace? The house appeared to be vacant and silent; but +these tokens might deceive. There was little room for hope; but +certainty was wanting, and might, perhaps, be obtained by entering the +house. In some of the upper rooms a wretched being might be immured; by +whom the information, so earnestly desired, might be imparted, and to +whom my presence might bring relief, not only from pestilence, but +famine. For a moment, I forgot my own necessitous condition, and +reflected not that abstinence had already undermined my strength. + +I proceeded to knock at the door. That my signal was unnoticed produced +no surprise. The door was unlocked, and I opened. At this moment my +attention was attracted by the opening of another door near me. I +looked, and perceived a man issuing forth from a house at a small +distance. + +It now occurred to me, that the information which I sought might +possibly be gained from one of Thetford's neighbours. This person was +aged, but seemed to have lost neither cheerfulness nor vigour. He had an +air of intrepidity and calmness. It soon appeared that I was the object +of his curiosity. He had, probably, marked my deportment through some +window of his dwelling, and had come forth to make inquiries into the +motives of my conduct. + +He courteously saluted me. "You seem," said he, "to be in search of some +one. If I can afford you the information you want, you will be welcome +to it." + +Encouraged by this address, I mentioned the name of Thetford; and added +my fears that he had not escaped the general calamity. + +"It is true," said he. "Yesterday himself, his wife, and his child, were +in a hopeless condition. I saw them in the evening, and expected not to +find them alive this morning. As soon as it was light, however, I +visited the house again; but found it empty. I suppose they must have +died, and been removed in the night." + +Though anxious to ascertain the destiny of Wallace, I was unwilling to +put direct questions. I shuddered, while I longed to know the truth. + +"Why," said I, falteringly, "did he not seasonably withdraw from the +city? Surely he had the means of purchasing an asylum in the country." + +"I can scarcely tell you," he answered. "Some infatuation appeared to +have seized him. No one was more timorous; but he seemed to think +himself safe as long as he avoided contact with infected persons. He was +likewise, I believe, detained by a regard to his interest. His flight +would not have been more injurious to his affairs than it was to those +of others; but gain was, in his eyes, the supreme good. He intended +ultimately to withdraw; but his escape to-day, gave him new courage to +encounter the perils of to-morrow. He deferred his departure from day to +day, till it ceased to be practicable." + +"His family," said I, "was numerous. It consisted of more than his wife +and children. Perhaps these retired in sufficient season." + +"Yes," said he; "his father left the house at an early period. One or +two of the servants likewise forsook him. One girl, more faithful and +heroic than the rest, resisted the remonstrances of her parents and +friends, and resolved to adhere to him in every fortune. She was anxious +that the family should fly from danger, and would willingly have fled in +their company; but while they stayed, it was her immovable resolution +not to abandon them. + +"Alas, poor girl! She knew not of what stuff the heart of Thetford was +made. Unhappily, she was the first to become sick. I question much +whether her disease was pestilential. It was, probably, a slight +indisposition, which, in a few days, would have vanished of itself, or +have readily yielded to suitable treatment. + +"Thetford was transfixed with terror. Instead of summoning a physician, +to ascertain the nature of her symptoms, he called a negro and his cart +from Bush Hill. In vain the neighbours interceded for this unhappy +victim. In vain she implored his clemency, and asserted the lightness of +her indisposition. She besought him to allow her to send to her mother, +who resided a few miles in the country, who would hasten to her succour, +and relieve him and his family from the danger and trouble of nursing +her. + +"The man was lunatic with apprehension. He rejected her entreaties, +though urged in a manner that would have subdued a heart of flint. The +girl was innocent, and amiable, and courageous, but entertained an +unconquerable dread of the hospital. Finding entreaties ineffectual, she +exerted all her strength in opposition to the man who lifted her into +the cart. + +"Finding that her struggles availed nothing, she resigned herself to +despair. In going to the hospital, she believed herself led to certain +death, and to the sufferance of every evil which the known inhumanity of +its attendants could inflict. This state of mind, added to exposure to a +noonday sun, in an open vehicle, moving, for a mile, over a rugged +pavement, was sufficient to destroy her. I was not surprised to hear +that she died the next day. + +"This proceeding was sufficiently iniquitous; yet it was not the worst +act of this man. The rank and education of the young woman might be some +apology for negligence; but his clerk, a youth who seemed to enjoy his +confidence, and to be treated by his family on the footing of a brother +or son, fell sick on the next night, and was treated in the same +manner." + +These tidings struck me to the heart. A burst of indignation and sorrow +filled my eyes. I could scarcely stifle my emotions sufficiently to ask, +"Of whom, sir, do you speak? Was the name of the youth--his +name--was----" + +"His name was Wallace. I see that you have some interest in his fate. He +was one whom I loved. I would have given half my fortune to procure him +accommodation under some hospitable roof. His attack was violent; but, +still, his recovery, if he had been suitably attended, was possible. +That he should survive removal to the hospital, and the treatment he +must receive when there, was not to be hoped. + +"The conduct of Thetford was as absurd as it was wicked. To imagine the +disease to be contagious was the height of folly; to suppose himself +secure, merely by not permitting a sick man to remain under his roof, +was no less stupid; but Thetford's fears had subverted his +understanding. He did not listen to arguments or supplications. His +attention was incapable of straying from one object. To influence him by +words was equivalent to reasoning with the deaf. + +"Perhaps the wretch was more to be pitied than hated. The victims of his +implacable caution could scarcely have endured agonies greater than +those which his pusillanimity inflicted on himself. Whatever be the +amount of his guilt, the retribution has been adequate. He witnessed the +death of his wife and child, and last night was the close of his own +existence. Their sole attendant was a black woman; whom, by frequent +visits, I endeavoured, with little success, to make diligent in the +performance of her duty." + +Such, then, was the catastrophe of Wallace. The end for which I +journeyed hither was accomplished. His destiny was ascertained; and all +that remained was to fulfil the gloomy predictions of the lovely but +unhappy Susan. To tell them all the truth would be needlessly to +exasperate her sorrow. Time, aided by the tenderness and sympathy of +friendship, may banish her despair, and relieve her from all but the +witcheries of melancholy. + +Having disengaged my mind from these reflections, I explained to my +companion, in general terms, my reasons for visiting the city, and my +curiosity respecting. Thetford. He inquired into the particulars of my +journey, and the time of my arrival. When informed that I had come in +the preceding evening, and had passed the subsequent hours without sleep +or food, he expressed astonishment and compassion. + +"Your undertaking," said he, "has certainly been hazardous. There is +poison in every breath which you draw, but this hazard has been greatly +increased by abstaining from food and sleep. My advice is to hasten back +into the country; but you must first take some repose and some victuals. +If you pass Schuylkill before nightfall, it will be sufficient." + +I mentioned the difficulty of procuring accommodation on the road. It +would be most prudent to set out upon my journey so as to reach +_Malverton_ at night. As to food and sleep, they were not to be +purchased in this city. + +"True," answered my companion, with quickness, "they are not to be +bought; but I will furnish you with as much as you desire of both, for +nothing. That is my abode," continued he, pointing to the house which he +had lately left. "I reside with a widow lady and her daughter, who took +my counsel, and fled in due season. I remain to moralize upon the scene, +with only a faithful black, who makes my bed, prepares my coffee, and +bakes my loaf. If I am sick, all that a physician can do, I will do for +myself, and all that a nurse can perform, I expect to be performed by +_Austin_. + +"Come with me, drink some coffee, rest a while on my mattress, and then +fly, with my benedictions on your head." + +These words were accompanied by features disembarrassed and benevolent. +My temper is alive to social impulses, and I accepted his invitation, +not so much because I wished to eat or to sleep, but because I felt +reluctance to part so soon with a being who possessed so much fortitude +and virtue. + +He was surrounded by neatness and plenty. Austin added dexterity to +submissiveness. My companion, whose name I now found to be Medlicote, +was prone to converse, and commented on the state of the city like one +whose reading had been extensive and experience large. He combated an +opinion which I had casually formed respecting the origin of this +epidemic, and imputed it, not to infected substances imported from the +East or West, but to a morbid constitution of the atmosphere, owing +wholly or in part to filthy streets, airless habitations, and squalid +persons. + +As I talked with this man, the sense of danger was obliterated, I felt +confidence revive in my heart, and energy revisit my stomach. Though far +from my wonted health, my sensation grew less comfortless, and I found +myself to stand in no need of repose. + +Breakfast being finished, my friend pleaded his daily engagements as +reasons for leaving me. He counselled me to strive for some repose, but +I was conscious of incapacity to sleep. I was desirous of escaping, as +soon as possible, from this tainted atmosphere, and reflected whether +any thing remained to be done respecting Wallace. + +It now occurred to me that this youth must have left some clothes and +papers, and, perhaps, books. The property of these was now vested in the +Hadwins. I might deem myself, without presumption, their representative +or agent. Might I not take some measures for obtaining possession, or at +least for the security, of these articles? + +The house and its furniture were tenantless and unprotected. It was +liable to be ransacked and pillaged by those desperate ruffians of whom +many were said to be hunting for spoil even at a time like this. If +these should overlook this dwelling, Thetford's unknown successor or +heir might appropriate the whole. Numberless accidents might happen to +occasion the destruction or embezzlement of what belonged to Wallace, +which might be prevented by the conduct which I should now pursue. + +Immersed in these perplexities, I remained bewildered and motionless. I +was at length roused by some one knocking at the door. Austin obeyed the +signal, and instantly returned, leading in--Mr. Hadwin! + +I know not whether this unlooked-for interview excited on my part most +grief or surprise. The motive of his coming was easily divined. His +journey was on two accounts superfluous. He whom he sought was dead. The +duty of ascertaining his condition I had assigned to myself. + +I now perceived and deplored the error of which I had been guilty, in +concealing my intended journey from my patron. Ignorant of the part I +had acted, he had rushed into the jaws of this pest, and endangered a +life unspeakably valuable to his children and friends. I should +doubtless have obtained his grateful consent to the project which I had +conceived; but my wretched policy had led me into this clandestine path. +Secrecy may seldom be a crime. A virtuous intention may produce it; but +surely it is always erroneous and pernicious. + +My friend's astonishment at the sight of me was not inferior to my own. +The causes which led to this unexpected interview were mutually +explained. To soothe the agonies of his child, he consented to approach +the city, and endeavour to procure intelligence of Wallace. When he +left his house, he intended to stop in the environs, and hire some +emissary, whom an ample reward might tempt to enter the city, and +procure the information which was needed. + +No one could be prevailed upon to execute so dangerous a service. Averse +to return without performing his commission, he concluded to examine for +himself. Thetford's removal to this street was known to him; but, being +ignorant of my purpose, he had not mentioned this circumstance to me, +during our last conversation. + +I was sensible of the danger which Hadwin had incurred by entering the +city. Perhaps my knowledge of the inexpressible importance of his life +to the happiness of his daughters made me aggravate his danger. I knew +that the longer he lingered in this tainted air, the hazard was +increased. A moment's delay was unnecessary. Neither Wallace nor myself +were capable of being benefited by his presence. + +I mentioned the death of his nephew as a reason for hastening his +departure. I urged him in the most vehement terms to remount his horse +and to fly; I endeavoured to preclude all inquiries respecting myself or +Wallace; promising to follow him immediately, and answer all his +questions at _Malverton_. My importunities were enforced by his own +fears, and, after a moment's hesitation, he rode away. + +The emotions produced by this incident were, in the present critical +state of my frame, eminently hurtful. My morbid indications suddenly +returned. I had reason to ascribe my condition to my visit to the +chamber of Maravegli; but this and its consequences to myself, as well +as the journey of Hadwin, were the fruits of my unhappy secrecy. + +I had always been accustomed to perform my journeys on foot. This, on +ordinary occasions, was the preferable method, but now I ought to have +adopted the easiest and swiftest means. If Hadwin had been acquainted +with my purpose he would not only have approved, but would have allowed +me, the use of a horse. These reflections were rendered less pungent by +the recollection that my motives were benevolent, and that I had +endeavoured the benefit of others by means which appeared to me most +suitable. + +Meanwhile, how was I to proceed? What hindered me from pursuing the +footsteps of Hadwin with all the expedition which my uneasiness, of +brain and stomach, would allow? I conceived that to leave any thing +undone, with regard to Wallace, would be absurd. His property might be +put under the care of my new friend. But how was it to be distinguished +from the property of others? It was, probably, contained in trunks, +which were designated by some label or mark. I was unacquainted with his +chamber, but, by passing from one to the other, I might finally discover +it. Some token, directing my footsteps, might occur, though at present +unforeseen. + +Actuated by these considerations, I once more entered Thetford's +habitation. I regretted that I had not procured the counsel or +attendance of my new friend; but some engagements, the nature of which +he did not explain, occasioned him to leave me as soon as breakfast was +finished. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + + +I wandered over this deserted mansion, in a considerable degree, at +random. Effluvia of a pestilential nature assailed me from every corner. +In the front room of the second story, I imagined that I discovered +vestiges of that catastrophe which the past night had produced. The bed +appeared as if some one had recently been dragged from it. The sheets +were tinged with yellow, and with that substance which is said to be +characteristic of this disease, the gangrenous or black vomit. The floor +exhibited similar stains. + +There are many who will regard my conduct as the last refinement of +temerity, or of heroism. Nothing, indeed, more perplexes me than a +review of my own conduct. Not, indeed, that death is an object always to +be dreaded, or that my motive did not justify my actions; but of all +dangers, those allied to pestilence, by being mysterious and unseen, are +the most formidable. To disarm them of their terrors requires the +longest familiarity. Nurses and physicians soonest become intrepid or +indifferent; but the rest of mankind recoil from the scene with +unconquerable loathing. + +I was sustained, not by confidence of safety, and a belief of exemption +from this malady, or by the influence of habit, which inures us to all +that is detestable or perilous, but by a belief that this was as +eligible an avenue to death as any other; and that life is a trivial +sacrifice in the cause of duty. + +I passed from one room to the other. A portmanteau, marked with the +initials of Wallace's name, at length attracted my notice. From this +circumstance I inferred that this apartment had been occupied by him. +The room was neatly arranged, and appeared as if no one had lately used +it. There were trunks and drawers. That which I have mentioned was the +only one that bore marks of Wallace's ownership. This I lifted in my +arms with a view to remove it to Medlicote's house. + +At that moment, methought I heard a footstep slowly and lingeringly +ascending the stair. I was disconcerted at this incident. The footstep +had in it a ghost-like solemnity and tardiness. This phantom vanished in +a moment, and yielded place to more humble conjectures. A human being +approached, whose office and commission were inscrutable. That we were +strangers to each other was easily imagined; but how would my +appearance, in this remote chamber, and loaded with another's property, +be interpreted? Did he enter the house after me, or was he the tenant of +some chamber hitherto unvisited; whom my entrance had awakened from his +trance and called from his couch? + +In the confusion of my mind, I still held my burden uplifted. To have +placed it on the floor, and encountered this visitant, without this +equivocal token about me, was the obvious proceeding. Indeed, time only +could decide whether these footsteps tended to this, or to some other, +apartment. + +My doubts were quickly dispelled. The door opened, and a figure glided +in. The portmanteau dropped from my arms, and my heart's blood was +chilled. If an apparition of the dead were possible, (and that +possibility I could not deny,) this was such an apparition. A hue, +yellowish and livid; bones, uncovered with flesh; eyes, ghastly, hollow, +woe-begone, and fixed in an agony of wonder upon me; and locks, matted +and negligent, constituted the image which I now beheld. My belief of +somewhat preternatural in this appearance was confirmed by recollection +of resemblances between these features and those of one who was dead. In +this shape and visage, shadowy and death-like as they were, the +lineaments of Wallace, of him who had misled my rustic simplicity on my +first visit to this city, and whose death I had conceived to be +incontestably ascertained, were forcibly recognised. + +This recognition, which at first alarmed my superstition, speedily led +to more rational inferences. Wallace had been dragged to the hospital. +Nothing was less to be suspected than that he would return alive from +that hideous receptacle, but this was by no means impossible. The figure +that stood before me had just risen from the bed of sickness, and from +the brink of the grave. The crisis of his malady had passed, and he was +once more entitled to be ranked among the living. + +This event, and the consequences which my imagination connected with it, +filled me with the liveliest joy. I thought not of his ignorance of the +causes of my satisfaction, of the doubts to which the circumstances of +our interview would give birth, respecting the integrity of my purpose. +I forgot the artifices by which I had formerly been betrayed, and the +embarrassments which a meeting with the victim of his artifices would +excite in him; I thought only of the happiness which his recovery would +confer upon his uncle and his cousins. + +I advanced towards him with an air of congratulation, and offered him my +hand. He shrunk back, and exclaimed, in a feeble voice, "Who are you? +What business have you here?" + +"I am the friend of Wallace, if he will allow me to be so. I am a +messenger from your uncle and cousins at _Malverton_. I came to know the +cause of your silence, and to afford you any assistance in my power." + +He continued to regard me with an air of suspicion and doubt. These I +endeavoured to remove by explaining the motives that led me hither. It +was with difficulty that he seemed to credit my representations. When +thoroughly convinced of the truth of my assertions, he inquired with +great anxiety and tenderness concerning his relations; and expressed his +hope that they were ignorant of what had befallen him. + +I could not encourage his hopes. I regretted my own precipitation in +adopting the belief of his death. This belief had been uttered with +confidence, and without stating my reasons for embracing it, to Mr. +Hadwin. These tidings would be borne to his daughters, and their grief +would be exasperated to a deplorable and perhaps to a fatal degree. + +There was but one method of repairing or eluding this mischief. +Intelligence ought to be conveyed to them of his recovery. But where was +the messenger to be found? No one's attention could be found disengaged +from his own concerns. Those who were able or willing to leave the city +had sufficient motives for departure, in relation to themselves. If +vehicle or horse were procurable for money, ought it not to be secured +for the use of Wallace himself, whose health required the easiest and +speediest conveyance from this theatre of death? + +My companion was powerless in mind as in limbs. He seemed unable to +consult upon the means of escaping from the inconveniences by which he +was surrounded. As soon as sufficient strength was regained, he had left +the hospital. To repair to _Malverton_ was the measure which prudence +obviously dictated; but he was hopeless of effecting it. The city was +close at hand; this was his usual home; and hither his tottering and +almost involuntary steps conducted him. + +He listened to my representations and counsels, and acknowledged their +propriety. He put himself under my protection and guidance, and promised +to conform implicitly to my directions. His strength had sufficed to +bring him thus far, but was now utterly exhausted. The task of searching +for a carriage and horse devolved upon me. + +In effecting this purpose, I was obliged to rely upon my own ingenuity +and diligence. Wallace, though so long a resident in the city, knew not +to whom I could apply, or by whom carriages were let to hire. My own +reflections taught me, that this accommodation was most likely to be +furnished by innkeepers, or that some of those might at least inform me +of the best measures to be taken. I resolved to set out immediately on +this search. Meanwhile, Wallace was persuaded to take refuge in +Medlicote's apartments; and to make, by the assistance of Austin, the +necessary preparation for his journey. + +The morning had now advanced. The rays of a sultry sun had a sickening +and enfeebling influence beyond any which I had ever experienced. The +drought of unusual duration had bereft the air and the earth of every +particle of moisture. The element which I breathed appeared to have +stagnated into noxiousness and putrefaction. I was astonished at +observing the enormous diminution of my strength. My brows were heavy, +my intellects benumbed, my sinews enfeebled, and my sensations +universally unquiet. + +These prognostics were easily interpreted. What I chiefly dreaded was, +that they would disable me from executing the task which I had +undertaken. I summoned up all my resolution, and cherished a disdain of +yielding to this ignoble destiny. I reflected that the source of all +energy, and even of life, is seated in thought; that nothing is arduous +to human efforts; that the external frame will seldom languish, while +actuated by an unconquerable soul. + +I fought against my dreary feelings, which pulled me to the earth. I +quickened my pace, raised my drooping eyelids, and hummed a cheerful and +favourite air. For all that I accomplished during this day, I believe +myself indebted to the strenuousness and ardour of my resolutions. + +I went from one tavern to another. One was deserted; in another the +people were sick, and their attendants refused to hearken to my +inquiries or offers; at a third, their horses were engaged. I was +determined to prosecute my search as long as an inn or a livery-stable +remained unexamined, and my strength would permit. + +To detail the events of this expedition, the arguments and supplications +which I used to overcome the dictates of avarice and fear, the +fluctuation of my hopes and my incessant disappointments, would be +useless. Having exhausted all my expedients ineffectually, I was +compelled to turn my weary steps once more to Medlicote's lodgings. + +My meditations were deeply engaged by the present circumstances of my +situation. Since the means which were first suggested were +impracticable, I endeavoured to investigate others. Wallace's debility +made it impossible for him to perform this journey on foot; but would +not his strength and his resolution suffice to carry him beyond +Schuylkill? A carriage or horse, though not to be obtained in the city, +could, without difficulty, be procured in the country. Every farmer had +beasts for burden and draught. One of these might be hired, at no +immoderate expense, for half a day. + +This project appeared so practicable and so specious, that I deeply +regretted the time and the efforts which had already been so fruitlessly +expended. If my project, however, had been mischievous, to review it +with regret was only to prolong and to multiply its mischiefs. I trusted +that time and strength would not be wanting to the execution of this new +design. + +On entering Medlicote's house, my looks, which, in spite of my languors, +were sprightly and confident, flattered Wallace with the belief that my +exertions had succeeded. When acquainted with their failure, he sunk as +quickly into hopelessness. My new expedient was heard by him with no +marks of satisfaction. It was impossible, he said, to move from this +spot by his own strength. All his powers were exhausted by his walk from +Bush Hill. + +I endeavoured, by arguments and railleries, to revive his courage. The +pure air of the country would exhilarate him into new life. He might +stop at every fifty yards, and rest upon the green sod. If overtaken by +the night, we would procure a lodging, by address and importunity; but, +if every door should be shut against us, we should at least enjoy the +shelter of some barn, and might diet wholesomely upon the new-laid eggs +that we should find there. The worst treatment we could meet with was +better than continuance in the city. + +These remonstrances had some influence, and he at length consented to +put his ability to the test. First, however, it was necessary to +invigorate himself by a few hours' rest. To this, though with infinite +reluctance, I consented. + +This interval allowed him to reflect upon the past, and to inquire into +the fate of Thetford and his family. The intelligence which Medlicote +had enabled me to afford him was heard with more satisfaction than +regret. The ingratitude and cruelty with which he had been treated +seemed to have extinguished every sentiment but hatred and vengeance. I +was willing to profit by this interval to know more of Thetford than I +already possessed. I inquired why Wallace had so perversely neglected +the advice of his uncle and cousin, and persisted to brave so many +dangers when flight was so easy. + +"I cannot justify my conduct," answered he. "It was in the highest +degree thoughtless and perverse. I was confident and unconcerned as long +as our neighbourhood was free from disease, and as long as I forbore any +communication with the sick; yet I should have withdrawn to Malverton, +merely to gratify my friends, if Thetford had not used the most powerful +arguments to detain me. He laboured to extenuate the danger. + +"'Why not stay,' said he, 'as long as I and my family stay? Do you think +that we would linger here, if the danger were imminent? As soon as it +becomes so, we will fly. You know that we have a country-house prepared +for our reception. When we go, you shall accompany us. Your services at +this time are indispensable to my affairs. If you will not desert me, +your salary next year shall be double; and that will enable you to marry +your cousin immediately. Nothing is more improbable than that any of us +should be sick; but, if this should happen to you, I plight my honour +that you shall be carefully and faithfully attended.' + +"These assurances were solemn and generous. To make Susan Hadwin my wife +was the scope of all my wishes and labours. By staying, I should hasten +this desirable event, and incur little hazard. By going, I should +alienate the affections of Thetford; by whom, it is but justice to +acknowledge, that I had hitherto been treated with unexampled generosity +and kindness; and blast all the schemes I had formed for rising into +wealth. + +"My resolution was by no means steadfast. As often as a letter from +_Malverton_ arrived, I felt myself disposed to hasten away; but this +inclination was combated by new arguments and new entreaties of +Thetford. + +"In this state of suspense, the girl by whom Mrs. Thetford's infant was +nursed fell sick. She was an excellent creature, and merited better +treatment than she received. Like me, she resisted the persuasions of +her friends, but her motives for remaining were disinterested and +heroic. + +"No sooner did her indisposition appear, than she was hurried to the +hospital. I saw that no reliance could be placed upon the assurances of +Thetford. Every consideration gave way to his fear of death. After the +girl's departure, though he knew that she was led by his means to +execution, yet he consoled himself by repeating and believing her +assertions, that her disease was not _the fever_. + +"I was now greatly alarmed for my own safety. I was determined to +encounter his anger and repel his persuasions; and to depart with the +market-man next morning. That night, however, I was seized with a +violent fever. I knew in what manner patients were treated at the +hospital, and removal thither was to the last degree abhorred. + +"The morning arrived, and my situation was discovered. At the first +intimation, Thetford rushed out of the house, and refused to re-enter it +till I was removed. I knew not my fate, till three ruffians made their +appearance at my bedside, and communicated their commission. + +"I called on the name of Thetford and his wife. I entreated a moment's +delay, till I had seen these persons, and endeavoured to procure a +respite from my sentence. They were deaf to my entreaties, and prepared +to execute their office by force. I was delirious with rage and terror. +I heaped the bitterest execrations on my murderer; and by turns, invoked +the compassion of, and poured a torrent of reproaches on, the wretches +whom he had selected for his ministers. My struggles and outcries were +vain. + +"I have no perfect recollection of what passed till my arrival at the +hospital. My passions combined with my disease to make me frantic and +wild. In a state like mine, the slightest motion could not be endured +without agony. What then must I have felt, scorched and dazzled by the +sun, sustained by hard boards, and borne for miles over a rugged +pavement? + +"I cannot make you comprehend the anguish of my feelings. To be +disjointed and torn piecemeal by the rack was a torment inexpressibly +inferior to this. Nothing excites my wonder but that I did not expire +before the cart had moved three paces. + +"I knew not how, or by whom, I was moved from this vehicle. +Insensibility came at length to my relief. After a time I opened my +eyes, and slowly gained some knowledge of my situation. I lay upon a +mattress, whose condition proved that a half-decayed corpse had recently +been dragged from it. The room was large, but it was covered with beds +like my own. Between each, there was scarcely the interval of three +feet. Each sustained a wretch, whose groans and distortions bespoke the +desperateness of his condition. + +"The atmosphere was loaded by mortal stenches. A vapour, suffocating and +malignant, scarcely allowed me to breathe. No suitable receptacle was +provided for the evacuations produced by medicine or disease. My nearest +neighbour was struggling with death, and my bed, casually extended, was +moist with the detestable matter which had flowed from his stomach. + +"You will scarcely believe that, in this scene of horrors, the sound of +laughter should be overheard. While the upper rooms of this building are +filled with the sick and the dying, the lower apartments are the scene +of carousals and mirth. The wretches who are hired, at enormous wages, +to tend the sick and convey away the dead, neglect their duty, and +consume the cordials which are provided for the patients, in debauchery +and riot. + +"A female visage, bloated with malignity and drunkenness, occasionally +looked in. Dying eyes were cast upon her, invoking the boon, perhaps, of +a drop of cold water, or her assistance to change a posture which +compelled him to behold the ghastly writhings or deathful _smile_ of his +neighbour. + +"The visitant had left the banquet for a moment, only to see who was +dead. If she entered the room, blinking eyes and reeling steps showed +her to be totally unqualified for ministering the aid that was needed. +Presently she disappeared, and others ascended the staircase, a coffin +was deposited at the door, the wretch, whose heart still quivered, was +seized by rude hands, and dragged along the floor into the passage. + +"Oh! how poor are the conceptions which are formed, by the fortunate +few, of the sufferings to which millions of their fellow-beings are +condemned. This misery was more frightful, because it was seen to flow +from the depravity of the attendants. My own eyes only would make me +credit the existence of wickedness so enormous. No wonder that to die in +garrets, and cellars, and stables, unvisited and unknown, had, by so +many, been preferred to being brought hither. + +"A physician cast an eye upon my state. He gave some directions to the +person who attended him. I did not comprehend them, they were never +executed by the nurses, and, if the attempt had been made, I should +probably have refused to receive what was offered. Recovery was equally +beyond my expectations and my wishes. The scene which was hourly +displayed before me, the entrance of the sick, most of whom perished in +a few hours, and their departure to the graves prepared for them, +reminded me of the fate to which I, also, was reserved. + +"Three days passed away, in which every hour was expected to be the +last. That, amidst an atmosphere so contagious and deadly, amidst causes +of destruction hourly accumulating, I should yet survive, appears to me +nothing less than miraculous. That of so many conducted to this house +the only one who passed out of it alive should be myself almost +surpasses my belief. + +"Some inexplicable principle rendered harmless those potent enemies of +human life. My fever subsided and vanished. My strength was revived, and +the first use that I made of my limbs was to bear me far from the +contemplation and sufferance of those evils." + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + + +Having gratified my curiosity in this respect, Wallace proceeded to +remind me of the circumstances of our first interview. He had +entertained doubts whether I was the person whom he had met at Lesher's. +I acknowledged myself to be the same, and inquired, in my turn, into the +motives of his conduct on that occasion. + +"I confess," said he, with some hesitation, "I meant only to sport with +your simplicity and ignorance. You must not imagine, however, that my +stratagem was deep-laid and deliberately executed. My professions at the +tavern were sincere. I meant not to injure but to serve you. It was not +till I reached the head of the staircase that the mischievous +contrivance occurred. I foresaw nothings at the moment, but ludicrous +mistakes and embarrassment. The scheme was executed almost at the very +moment it occurred. + +"After I had returned to the parlour, Thetford charged me with the +delivery of a message in a distant quarter of the city. It was not till +I had performed this commission, and had set out on my return, that I +fully revolved the consequences likely to flow from my project. + +"That Thetford and his wife would detect you in their bedchamber was +unquestionable. Perhaps, weary of my long delay, you would have fairly +undressed and gone to bed. The married couple would have made +preparation to follow you, and, when the curtain was undrawn, would +discover a robust youth, fast asleep, in their place. These images, +which had just before excited my laughter, now produced a very different +emotion. I dreaded some fatal catastrophe from the fiery passions of +Thetford. In the first transports of his fury he might pistol you, or, +at least, might command you to be dragged to prison. + +"I now heartily repented of my jest, and hastened home, that I might +prevent, as far as possible, the evil effects that might flow from it. +The acknowledgment of my own agency in this affair would, at least, +transfer Thetford's indignation to myself, to whom it was equitably due. + +"The married couple had retired to their chamber, and no alarm or +confusion had followed. This was an inexplicable circumstance. I waited +with impatience till the morning should furnish a solution of the +difficulty. The morning arrived. A strange event had, indeed, taken +place in their bedchamber. They found an infant asleep in their bed. +Thetford had been roused twice in the night, once by a noise in the +closet, and afterwards by a noise at the door. + +"Some connection between these sounds and the foundling was naturally +suspected. In the morning the closet was examined, and a coarse pair of +shoes was found on the floor. The chamber door, which Thetford had +locked in the evening, was discovered to be open, as likewise a window +in the kitchen. + +"These appearances were a source of wonder and doubt to others, but were +perfectly intelligible to me. I rejoiced that my stratagem had no more +dangerous consequence, and admired the ingenuity and perseverance with +which you had extricated yourself from so critical a state." + +This narrative was only the verification of my own guesses. Its facts +were quickly supplanted in my thoughts by the disastrous picture he had +drawn of the state of the hospital. I was confounded and shocked by the +magnitude of this evil. The cause of it was obvious. The wretches whom +money could purchase were, of course, licentious and unprincipled. +Superintended and controlled, they might be useful instruments; but that +superintendence could not be bought. + +What qualities were requisite in the governor of such an institution? He +must have zeal, diligence, and perseverance. He must act from lofty and +pure motives. He must be mild and firm, intrepid and compliant. One +perfectly qualified for the office it is desirable, but not possible, +to find. A dispassionate and honest zeal in the cause of duty and +humanity may be of eminent utility. Am I not endowed with this zeal? +Cannot my feeble efforts obviate some portion of this evil? + +No one has hitherto claimed this disgustful and perilous situation. My +powers and discernment are small, but if they be honestly exerted they +cannot fail to be somewhat beneficial. + +The impulse produced by these reflections was to hasten to the City +Hall, and make known my wishes. This impulse was controlled by +recollections of my own indisposition, and of the state of Wallace. To +deliver this youth to his friends was the strongest obligation. When +this was discharged, I might return to the city, and acquit myself of +more comprehensive duties. + +Wallace had now enjoyed a few hours' rest, and was persuaded to begin +the journey. It was now noonday, and the sun darted insupportable rays. +Wallace was more sensible than I of their unwholesome influence. We had +not reached the suburbs, when his strength was wholly exhausted, and, +had I not supported him, he would have sunk upon the pavement. + +My limbs were scarcely less weak, but my resolutions were much more +strenuous than his. I made light of his indisposition, and endeavoured +to persuade him that his vigour would return in proportion to his +distance from the city. The moment we should reach a shade, a short +respite would restore us to health and cheerfulness. + +Nothing could revive his courage or induce him to go on. To return or to +proceed was equally impracticable. But, should he be able to return, +where should he find a retreat? The danger of relapse was imminent; his +own chamber at Thetford's was unoccupied. If he could regain this house, +might I not procure him a physician and perform for him the part of +nurse? + +His present situation was critical and mournful. To remain in the +street, exposed to the malignant fervours of the sun, was not to be +endured. To carry him in my arms exceeded my strength. Should I not +claim the assistance of the first passenger that appeared? + +At that moment a horse and chaise passed us. The vehicle proceeded at a +quick pace. He that rode in it might afford us the succour that we +needed. He might be persuaded to deviate from his course and convey the +helpless Wallace to the house we had just left. + +This thought instantly impelled me forward. Feeble as I was, I even ran +with speed, in order to overtake the vehicle. My purpose was effected +with the utmost difficulty. It fortunately happened that the carriage +contained but one person, who stopped at my request. His countenance and +guise was mild and encouraging. + +"Good friend," I exclaimed, "here is a young man too indisposed to walk. +I want him carried to his lodgings. Will you, for money or for charity, +allow him a place in your chaise, and set him down where I shall +direct?" Observing tokens of hesitation, I continued, "You need have no +fears to perform this office. He is not sick, but merely feeble. I will +not ask twenty minutes, and you may ask what reward you think proper." + +Still he hesitated to comply. His business, he said, had not led him +into the city. He merely passed along the skirts of it, whence he +conceived that no danger would arise. He was desirous of helping the +unfortunate; but he could not think of risking his own life in the cause +of a stranger, when he had a wife and children depending on his +existence and exertions for bread. It gave him pain to refuse, but he +thought his duty to himself and to others required that he should not +hazard his safety by compliance. + +This plea was irresistible. The mildness of his manner showed that he +might have been overpowered by persuasion or tempted by reward. I would +not take advantage of his tractability; but should have declined his +assistance, even if it had been spontaneously offered. I turned away +from him in silence, and prepared to return to the spot where I had left +my friend. The man prepared to resume his way. + +In this perplexity, the thought occurred to me that, since this person +was going into the country, he might, possibly, consent to carry Wallace +along with him. I confided greatly in the salutary influence of rural +airs. I believed that debility constituted the whole of his complaint; +that continuance in the city might occasion his relapse, or, at least, +procrastinate his restoration. + +I once more addressed myself to the traveller, and inquired in what +direction and how far he was going. To my unspeakable satisfaction, his +answer informed me that his home lay beyond Mr. Hadwin's, and that this +road carried him directly past that gentleman's door. He was willing to +receive Wallace into his chaise, and to leave him at his uncle's. + +This joyous and auspicious occurrence surpassed my fondest hopes. I +hurried with the pleasing tidings to Wallace, who eagerly consented to +enter the carriage. I thought not at the moment of myself, or how far +the same means of escaping from my danger might be used. The stranger +could not be anxious on my account; and Wallace's dejection and weakness +may apologize for his not soliciting my company, or expressing his fears +for my safety. He was no sooner seated, than the traveller hurried away. +I gazed after them, motionless and mute, till the carriage, turning a +corner, passed beyond my sight. + +I had now leisure to revert to my own condition, and to ruminate on that +series of abrupt and diversified events that had happened during the few +hours which had been passed in the city: the end of my coming was thus +speedily and satisfactorily accomplished. My hopes and fears had rapidly +fluctuated; but, respecting this young man, had now subsided into calm +and propitious certainty. Before the decline of the sun, he would enter +his paternal roof, and diffuse ineffable joy throughout that peaceful +and chaste asylum. + +This contemplation, though rapturous and soothing, speedily gave way to +reflections on the conduct which my duty required, and the safe +departure of Wallace afforded me liberty, to pursue. To offer myself as +a superintendent of the hospital was still my purpose. The languors of +my frame might terminate in sickness, but this event it was useless to +anticipate. The lofty site and pure airs of Bush Hill might tend to +dissipate my languors and restore me to health. At least while I had +power, I was bound to exert it to the wisest purposes. I resolved to +seek the City Hall immediately, and, for that end, crossed the +intermediate fields which separated Sassafras from Chestnut Street. + +More urgent considerations had diverted my attention from the money +which I bore about me, and from the image of the desolate lady to whom +it belonged. My intentions, with regard to her, were the same as ever; +but now it occurred to me, with new force, that my death might preclude +an interview between us, and that it was prudent to dispose, in some +useful way, of the money which would otherwise be left to the sport of +chance. + +The evils which had befallen this city were obvious and enormous. Hunger +and negligence had exasperated the malignity and facilitated the +progress of the pestilence. Could this money be more usefully employed +than in alleviating these evils? During my life, I had no power over it, +but my death would justify me in prescribing the course which it should +take. + +How was this course to be pointed out? How might I place it, so that I +should effect my intentions without relinquishing the possession during +my life? + +These thoughts were superseded by a tide of new sensations. The weight +that incommoded my brows and my stomach was suddenly increased. My brain +was usurped by some benumbing power, and my limbs refused to support me. +My pulsations were quickened, and the prevalence of fever could no +longer be doubted. + +Till now, I had entertained a faint hope that my indisposition would +vanish of itself. This hope was at an end. The grave was before me, and +my projects of curiosity or benevolence were to sink into oblivion. I +was not bereaved of the powers of reflection. The consequences of lying +in the road, friendless and unprotected, were sure. The first passenger +would notice me, and hasten to summon one of those carriages which are +busy night and day in transporting its victims to the hospital. + +This fate was, beyond all others, abhorrent to my imagination. To hide +me under some roof, where my existence would be unknown and unsuspected, +and where I might perish unmolested and in quiet, was my present wish. +Thetford's or Medlicote's might afford me such an asylum, if it were +possible to reach it. + +I made the most strenuous exertions; but they could not carry me forward +more than a hundred paces. Here I rested on steps, which, on looking up, +I perceived to belong to Welbeck's house. + +This incident was unexpected. It led my reflections into a new train. To +go farther, in the present condition of my frame, was impossible. I was +well acquainted with this dwelling. All its avenues were closed. Whether +it had remained unoccupied since my flight from it, I could not decide. +It was evident that, at present, it was without inhabitants. Possibly it +might have continued in the same condition in which Welbeck had left it. +Beds or sofas might be found, on which a sick man might rest, and be +fearless of intrusion. + +This inference was quickly overturned by the obvious supposition that +every avenue was bolted and locked. This, however, might not be the +condition of the bath-house, in which there was nothing that required to +be guarded with unusual precautions. I was suffocated by inward and +scorched by external heat; and the relief of bathing and drinking +appeared inestimable. + +The value of this prize, in addition to my desire to avoid the +observation of passengers, made me exert all my remnant of strength. +Repeated efforts at length enabled me to mount the wall; and placed me, +as I imagined, in security. I swallowed large draughts of water as soon +as I could reach the well. + +The effect was, for a time, salutary and delicious. My fervours were +abated, and my faculties relieved from the weight which had lately +oppressed them. My present condition was unspeakably more advantageous +than the former. I did not believe that it could be improved, till, +casting my eye vaguely over the building, I happened to observe the +shutters of a lower window partly opened. + +Whether this was occasioned by design or by accident there was no means +of deciding. Perhaps, in the precipitation of the latest possessor, this +window had been overlooked. Perhaps it had been unclosed by violence, +and afforded entrance to a robber. By what means soever it had +happened, it undoubtedly afforded ingress to me. I felt no scruple in +profiting by this circumstance. My purposes were not dishonest. I should +not injure or purloin any thing. It was laudable to seek a refuge from +the well-meant persecutions of those who governed the city. All I sought +was the privilege of dying alone. + +Having gotten in at the window, I could not but remark that the +furniture and its arrangements had undergone no alteration in my +absence. I moved softly from one apartment to another, till at length I +entered that which had formerly been Welbeck's bedchamber. + +The bed was naked of covering. The cabinets and closets exhibited their +fastenings broken. Their contents were gone. Whether these appearances +had been produced by midnight robbers, or by the ministers of law and +the rage of the creditors of Welbeck, was a topic of fruitless +conjecture. + +My design was now effected. This chamber should be the scene of my +disease and my refuge from the charitable cruelty of my neighbours. My +new sensations conjured up the hope that my indisposition might prove a +temporary evil. Instead of pestilential or malignant fever, it might be +a harmless intermittent. Time would ascertain its true nature; +meanwhile, I would turn the carpet into a coverlet, supply my pitcher +with water, and administer without sparing, and without fear, that +remedy which was placed within my reach. + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + + +I laid myself on the bed and wrapped my limbs in the folds of the +carpet. My thoughts were restless and perturbed. I was once more busy in +reflecting on the conduct which I ought to pursue with regard to the +bank-bills. I weighed, with scrupulous attention, every circumstance +that might influence my decision. I could not conceive any more +beneficial application of this property than to the service of the +indigent, at this season of multiplied distress; but I considered that, +if my death were unknown, the house would not be opened or examined till +the pestilence had ceased, and the benefits of this application would +thus be partly or wholly precluded. + +This season of disease, however, would give place to a season of +scarcity. The number and wants of the poor, during the ensuing winter, +would be deplorably aggravated. What multitudes might be rescued from +famine and nakedness by the judicious application of this sum! + +But how should I secure this application? To enclose the bills in a +letter, directed to some eminent citizen or public officer, was the +obvious proceeding. Both of these conditions were fulfilled in the +person of the present chief-magistrate. To him, therefore, the packet +was to be sent. + +Paper and the implements of writing were necessary for this end. Would +they be found, I asked, in the upper room? If that apartment, like the +rest which I had seen, and its furniture, had remained untouched, my +task would be practicable; but, if the means of writing were not to be +immediately procured, my purpose, momentous and dear as it was, must be +relinquished. + +The truth, in this respect, was easily and ought immediately to be +ascertained. I rose from the bed which I had lately taken, and proceeded +to the _study_. The entries and staircases were illuminated by a pretty +strong twilight. The rooms, in consequence of every ray being excluded +by the closed shutters, were nearly as dark as if it had been midnight. +The rooms into which I had already passed were locked, but its key was +in each lock. I flattered myself that the entrance into the _study_ +would be found in the same condition. The door was shut, but no key was +to be seen. My hopes were considerably damped by this appearance, but I +conceived it to be still possible to enter, since, by chance or by +design, the door might be unlocked. + +My fingers touched the lock, when a sound was heard as if a bolt, +appending to the door on the inside, had been drawn. I was startled by +this incident. It betokened that the room was already occupied by some +other, who desired to exclude a visitor. The unbarred shutter below was +remembered, and associated itself with this circumstance. That this +house should be entered by the same avenue, at the same time, and this +room should be sought, by two persons, was a mysterious concurrence. + +I began to question whether I had heard distinctly. Numberless +inexplicable noises are apt to assail the ear in an empty dwelling. The +very echoes of our steps are unwonted and new. This, perhaps, was some +such sound. Resuming courage, I once more applied to the lock. The door, +in spite of my repeated efforts, would not open. + +My design was too momentous to be readily relinquished. My curiosity and +my fears likewise were awakened. The marks of violence, which I had seen +on the closets and cabinets below, seemed to indicate the presence of +plunderers. Here was one who laboured for seclusion and concealment. + +The pillage was not made upon my property. My weakness would disable me +from encountering or mastering a man of violence. To solicit admission +into this room would be useless. To attempt to force my way would be +absurd. These reflections prompted me to withdraw from the door; but the +uncertainty of the conclusions I had drawn, and the importance of +gaining access to this apartment, combined to check my steps. + +Perplexed as to the means I should employ, I once more tried the lock. +The attempt was fruitless as the former. Though hopeless of any +information to be gained by that means, I put my eye to the keyhole. I +discovered a light different from what was usually met with at this +hour. It was not the twilight which the sun, imperfectly excluded, +produces, but gleams, as from a lamp; yet its gleams were fainter and +obscurer than a lamp generally imparts. + +Was this a confirmation of my first conjecture? Lamplight at noonday, in +a mansion thus deserted, and in a room which had been the scene of +memorable and disastrous events, was ominous. Hitherto no direct proof +had been given of the presence of a human being. How to ascertain his +presence, or whether it were eligible by any means to ascertain it, were +points on which I had not deliberated. + +I had no power to deliberate. My curiosity impelled me to call,--"Is +there any one within? Speak." + +These words were scarcely uttered, when some one exclaimed, in a voice +vehement but half-smothered, "Good God!"-- + +A deep pause succeeded. I waited for an answer; for somewhat to which +this emphatic invocation might be a prelude. Whether the tones were +expressive of surprise, or pain, or grief, was, for a moment, dubious. +Perhaps the motives which led me to this house suggested the suspicion +which presently succeeded to my doubts,--that the person within was +disabled by sickness. The circumstances of my own condition took away +the improbability from this belief. Why might not another be induced +like me to hide himself in this desolate retreat? Might not a servant, +left to take care of the house, a measure usually adopted by the opulent +at this time, be seized by the reigning malady? Incapacitated for +exertion, or fearing to be dragged to the hospital, he has shut himself +in this apartment. The robber, it may be, who came to pillage, was +overtaken and detained by disease. In either case, detection or +intrusion would be hateful, and would be assiduously eluded. + +These thoughts had no tendency to weaken or divert my efforts to obtain +access to this room. The person was a brother in calamity, whom it was +my duty to succour and cherish to the utmost of my power. Once more I +spoke:-- + +"Who is within? I beseech you answer me. Whatever you be, I desire to do +you good and not injury. Open the door and let me know your condition. I +will try to be of use to you." + +I was answered by a deep groan, and by a sob counteracted and devoured +as it were by a mighty effort. This token of distress thrilled to my +heart. My terrors wholly disappeared, and gave place to unlimited +compassion. I again entreated to be admitted, promising all the succour +or consolation which my situation allowed me to afford. + +Answers were made in tones of anger and impatience, blended with those +of grief:--"I want no succour; vex me not with your entreaties and +offers. Fly from this spot; linger not a moment, lest you participate my +destiny and rush upon your death." + +These I considered merely as the effusions of delirium, or the dictates +of despair. The style and articulation denoted the speaker to be +superior to the class of servants. Hence my anxiety to see and to aid +him was increased. My remonstrances were sternly and pertinaciously +repelled. For a time, incoherent and impassioned exclamations flowed +from him. At length, I was only permitted to hear strong aspirations and +sobs, more eloquent and more indicative of grief than any language. + +This deportment filled me with no less wonder than commiseration. By +what views this person was led hither, by what motives induced to deny +himself to my entreaties, was wholly incomprehensible. Again, though +hopeless of success, I repeated my request to be admitted. + +My perseverance seemed now to have exhausted all his patience, and he +exclaimed, in a voice of thunder, "Arthur Mervyn! Begone. Linger but a +moment, and my rage, tiger-like, will rush upon you and rend you limb +from limb." + +This address petrified me. The voice that uttered this sanguinary menace +was strange to my ears. It suggested no suspicion of ever having heard +it before. Yet my accents had betrayed me to him. He was familiar with +my name. Notwithstanding the improbability of my entrance into this +dwelling, I was clearly recognized and unhesitatingly named! + +My curiosity and compassion were in no wise diminished, but I found +myself compelled to give up my purpose. I withdrew reluctantly from the +door, and once more threw myself upon my bed. Nothing was more +necessary, in the present condition of my frame; than sleep; and sleep +had, perhaps, been possible, if the scene around me had been less +pregnant with causes of wonder and panic. + +Once more I tasked memory in order to discover, in the persons with whom +I had hitherto conversed, some resemblance, in voice or tones, to him +whom I had just heard. This process was effectual. Gradually my +imagination called up an image which, now that it was clearly seen, I +was astonished had not instantly occurred. Three years ago, a man, by +name Colvill, came on foot, and with a knapsack on his back, into the +district where my father resided. He had learning and genius, and +readily obtained the station for which only he deemed himself qualified; +that of a schoolmaster. + +His demeanour was gentle and modest; his habits, as to sleep, food, and +exercise, abstemious and regular. Meditation in the forest, or reading +in his closet, seemed to constitute, together with attention to his +scholars, his sole amusement and employment. He estranged himself from +company, not because society afforded no pleasure, but because studious +seclusion afforded him chief satisfaction. + +No one was more idolized by his unsuspecting neighbours. His scholars +revered him as a father, and made under his tuition a remarkable +proficiency. His character seemed open to boundless inspection, and his +conduct was pronounced by all to be faultless. + +At the end of a year the scene was changed. A daughter of one of his +patrons, young, artless, and beautiful, appeared to have fallen a prey +to the arts of some detestable seducer. The betrayer was gradually +detected, and successive discoveries showed that the same artifices had +been practised, with the same success, upon many others. Colvill was the +arch-villain. He retired from the storm of vengeance that was gathering +over him, and had not been heard of since that period. + +I saw him rarely, and for a short time, and I was a mere boy. Hence the +failure to recollect his voice, and to perceive that the voice of him +immured in the room above was the same with that of Colvill. Though I +had slight reasons for recognising his features or accents, I had +abundant cause to think of him with detestation, and pursue him with +implacable revenge, for the victim of his acts, she whose ruin was first +detected, was--_my sister_. + +This unhappy girl escaped from the upbraidings of her parents, from the +contumelies of the world, from the goadings of remorse, and the anguish +flowing from the perfidy and desertion of Colvill, in a voluntary death. +She was innocent and lovely. Previous to this evil, my soul was linked +with hers by a thousand resemblances and sympathies, as well as by +perpetual intercourse from infancy, and by the fraternal relation. She +was my sister, my preceptress and friend; but she died--her end was +violent, untimely, and criminal! I cannot think of her without +heart-bursting grief; of her destroyer, without a rancour which I know +to be wrong, but which I cannot subdue. + +When the image of Colvill rushed, upon this occasion, on my thought, I +almost started on my feet. To meet him, after so long a separation, +here, and in these circumstances, was so unlooked-for and abrupt an +event, and revived a tribe of such hateful impulses and agonizing +recollections, that a total revolution seemed to have been effected in +my frame. His recognition of my person, his aversion to be seen, his +ejaculation of terror and surprise on first hearing my voice, all +contributed to strengthen my belief. + +How was I to act? My feeble frame could but ill second my vengeful +purposes; but vengeance, though it sometimes occupied my thoughts, was +hindered by my reason from leading me, in any instance, to outrage or +even to upbraiding. + +All my wishes with regard to this man were limited to expelling his +image from my memory, and to shunning a meeting with him. That he had +not opened the door at my bidding was now a topic of joy. To look upon +some bottomless pit, into which I was about to be cast headlong, and +alive, was less to be abhorred than to look upon the face of Colvill. +Had I known that he had taken refuge in this house, no power should have +compelled me to enter it. To be immersed in the infection of the +hospital, and to be hurried, yet breathing and observant, to my grave, +was a more supportable fate. + +I dwell, with self-condemnation and shame, upon this part of my story. +To feel extraordinary indignation at vice, merely because we have +partaken in an extraordinary degree of its mischiefs, is unjustifiable. +To regard the wicked with no emotion but pity, to be active in +reclaiming them, in controlling their malevolence, and preventing or +repairing the ills which they produce, is the only province of duty. +This lesson, as well as a thousand others, I have yet to learn; but I +despair of living long enough for that or any beneficial purpose. + +My emotions with regard to Colvill were erroneous, but omnipotent. I +started from my bed, and prepared to rush into the street. I was +careless of the lot that should befall me, since no fate could be worse +than that of abiding under the same roof with a wretch spotted with so +many crimes. + +I had not set my feet upon the floor before my precipitation was checked +by a sound from above. The door of the study was cautiously and slowly +opened. This incident admitted only of one construction, supposing all +obstructions removed. Colvill was creeping from his hiding-place, and +would probably fly with speed from the house. My belief of his sickness +was now confuted. An illicit design was congenial with his character +and congruous with those appearances already observed. + +I had no power or wish to obstruct his flight. I thought of it with +transport, and once more threw myself upon the bed, and wrapped my +averted face in the carpet. He would probably pass this door, +unobservant of me, and my muffled face would save me from the agonies +connected with the sight of him. + +The footsteps above were distinguishable, though it was manifest that +they moved with lightsomeness and circumspection. They reached the stair +and descended. The room in which I lay was, like the rest, obscured by +the closed shutters. This obscurity now gave way to a light, resembling +that glimmering and pale reflection which I had noticed in the study. My +eyes, though averted from the door, were disengaged from the folds which +covered the rest of my head, and observed these tokens of Colvill's +approach, flitting on the wall. + +My feverish perturbations increased as he drew nearer. He reached the +door, and stopped. The light rested for a moment. Presently he entered +the apartment. My emotions suddenly rose to a height that would not be +controlled. I imagined that he approached the bed, and was gazing upon +me. At the same moment, by an involuntary impulse, I threw off my +covering, and, turning my face, fixed my eyes upon my visitant. + +It was as I suspected. The figure, lifting in his right hand a candle, +and gazing at the bed, with lineaments and attitude bespeaking fearful +expectation and tormenting doubts, was now beheld. One glance +communicated to my senses all the parts of this terrific vision. A +sinking at my heart, as if it had been penetrated by a dagger, seized +me. This was not enough: I uttered a shriek, too rueful and loud not to +have startled the attention of the passengers, if any had, at that +moment, been passing the street. + +Heaven seemed to have decreed that this period should be filled with +trials of my equanimity and fortitude. The test of my courage was once +more employed to cover me with humiliation and remorse. This second +time, my fancy conjured up a spectre, and I shuddered as if the grave +were forsaken and the unquiet dead haunted my pillow. + +The visage and the shape had indeed preternatural attitudes, but they +belonged, not to Colvill, but to--WELBECK. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + + +He whom I had accompanied to the midst of the river; whom I had imagined +that I saw sink to rise no more, was now before me. Though incapable of +precluding the groundless belief of preternatural visitations, I was +able to banish the phantom almost at the same instant at which it +appeared. Welbeck had escaped from the stream alive; or had, by some +inconceivable means, been restored to life. + +The first was the most plausible conclusion. It instantly engendered a +suspicion, that his plunging into the water was an artifice, intended to +establish a belief of his death. His own tale had shown him to be versed +in frauds, and flexible to evil. But was he not associated with Colvill? +and what, but a compact in iniquity, could bind together such men? + +While thus musing, Welbeck's countenance and gesture displayed emotions +too vehement for speech. The glances that he fixed upon me were +unsteadfast and wild. He walked along the floor, stopping at each +moment, and darting looks of eagerness upon me. A conflict of passions +kept him mute. At length, advancing to the bed, on the side of which I +was now sitting, he addressed me:-- + +"What is this? Are you here? In defiance of pestilence, are you actuated +by some demon to haunt me, like the ghost of my offences, and cover me +with shame? What have I to do with that dauntless yet guiltless front? +With that foolishly-confiding and obsequious, yet erect and +unconquerable, spirit? Is there no means of evading your pursuit? Must I +dip my hands, a second time, in blood; and dig for you a grave by the +side of Watson?" + +These words were listened to with calmness. I suspected and pitied the +man, but I did not fear him. His words and his looks were indicative +less of cruelty than madness. I looked at him with an air compassionate +and wistful. I spoke with mildness and composure:-- + +"Mr. Welbeck, you are unfortunate and criminal. Would to God I could +restore you to happiness and virtue! but, though my desire be strong, I +have no power to change your habits or rescue you from misery. + +"I believed you to be dead. I rejoice to find myself mistaken. While you +live, there is room to hope that your errors will be cured; and the +turmoils and inquietudes that have hitherto beset your guilty progress +will vanish by your reverting into better paths. + +"From me you have nothing to fear. If your welfare will be promoted by +my silence on the subject of your history, my silence shall be +inviolate. I deem not lightly of my promises. They are given, and shall +not be recalled. + +"This meeting was casual. Since I believed you to be dead, it could not +be otherwise. You err, if you suppose that any injury will accrue to you +from my life; but you need not discard that error. Since my death is +coming, I am not averse to your adopting the belief that the event is +fortunate to you. + +"Death is the inevitable and universal lot. When or how it comes, is of +little moment. To stand, when so many thousands are falling around me, +is not to be expected. I have acted an humble and obscure part in the +world, and my career has been short; but I murmur not at the decree that +makes it so. + +"The pestilence is now upon me. The chances of recovery are too slender +to deserve my confidence. I came hither to die unmolested, and at peace. +All I ask of you is to consult your own safety by immediate flight; and +not to disappoint my hopes of concealment, by disclosing my condition to +the agents of the hospital." + +Welbeck listened with the deepest attention. The wildness of his air +disappeared, and gave place to perplexity and apprehension. + +"You are sick," said he, in a tremulous tone, in which terror was +mingled with affection. "You know this, and expect not to recover. No +mother, nor sister, nor friend, will be near to administer food, or +medicine, or comfort; yet you can talk calmly; can be thus considerate +of others--of me; whose guilt has been so deep, and who has merited so +little at your hands! + +"Wretched coward! Thus miserable as I am and expect to be, I cling to +life. To comply with your heroic counsel, and to fly; to leave you thus +desolate and helpless, is the strongest impulse. Fain would I resist it, +but cannot. + +"To desert you would be flagitious and dastardly beyond all former acts; +yet to stay with you is to contract the disease, and to perish after +you. + +"Life, burdened as it is with guilt and ignominy, is still dear--yet you +exhort me to go; you dispense with my assistance. Indeed, I could be of +no use; I should injure myself and profit you nothing. I cannot go into +the city and procure a physician or attendant. I must never more appear +in the streets of this city. I must leave you, then." He hurried to the +door. Again, he hesitated. I renewed my entreaties that he would leave +me; and encouraged his belief that his presence might endanger himself +without conferring the slightest benefit upon me. + +"Whither should I fly? The wide world contains no asylum for me. I lived +but on one condition. I came hither to find what would save me from +ruin,--from death. I find it not. It has vanished. Some audacious and +fortunate hand has snatched it from its place, and now my ruin is +complete. My last hope is extinct. + +"Yes, Mervyn! I will stay with you. I will hold your head. I will put +water to your lips. I will watch night and day by your side. When you +die, I will carry you by night to the neighbouring field; will bury you, +and water your grave with those tears that are due to your incomparable +worth and untimely destiny. Then I will lay myself in your bed, and wait +for the same oblivion." + +Welbeck seemed now no longer to be fluctuating between opposite +purposes. His tempestuous features subsided into calm. He put the +candle, still lighted, on the table, and paced the floor with less +disorder than at his first entrance. + +His resolution was seen to be the dictate of despair. I hoped that it +would not prove invincible to my remonstrances. I was conscious that his +attendance might preclude, in some degree, my own exertions, and +alleviate the pangs of death; but these consolations might be purchased +too dear. To receive them at the hazard of his life would be to make +them odious. + +But, if he should remain, what conduct would his companion pursue? Why +did he continue in the study when Welbeck had departed? By what motives +were those men led hither? I addressed myself to Welbeck:-- + +"Your resolution to remain is hasty and rash. By persisting in it, you +will add to the miseries of my condition; you will take away the only +hope that I cherished. But, however you may act, Colvill or I must be +banished from this roof. What is the league between you? Break it, I +conjure you, before his frauds have involved you in inextricable +destruction." + +Welbeck looked at me with some expression of doubt. + +"I mean," continued I, "the man whose voice I heard above. He is a +villain and betrayer. I have manifold proofs of his guilt. Why does he +linger behind you? However you may decide, it is fitting that he should +vanish." + +"Alas!" said Welbeck, "I have no companion, none to partake with me in +good or evil. I came hither alone." + +"How?" exclaimed I. "Whom did I hear in the room above? Some one +answered my interrogations and entreaties, whom I too certainly +recognised. Why does he remain?" + +"You heard no one but myself. The design that brought me hither was to +be accomplished without a witness. I desired to escape detection, and +repelled your solicitations for admission in a counterfeited voice. + +"That voice belonged to one from whom I had lately parted. What his +merits or demerits are, I know not. He found me wandering in the forests +of New Jersey. He took me to his home. When seized by a lingering +malady, he nursed me with fidelity and tenderness. When somewhat +recovered, I speeded hither; but our ignorance of each other's character +and views was mutual and profound. + +"I deemed it useful to assume a voice different from my own. This was +the last which I had heard, and this arbitrary and casual circumstance +decided my choice." + +This imitation was too perfect, and had influenced my fears too +strongly, to be easily credited. I suspected Welbeck of some new +artifice to baffle my conclusions and mislead my judgment. This +suspicion, however, yielded to his earnest and repeated declarations. If +Colvill were not here, where had he made his abode? How came friendship +and intercourse between Welbeck and him? By what miracle escaped the +former from the river, into which I had imagined him forever sunk? + +"I will answer you," said he, with candour. "You know already too much +for me to have any interest in concealing any part of my life. You have +discovered my existence, and the causes that rescued me from destruction +may be told without detriment to my person or fame. + +"When I leaped into the river, I intended to perish. I harboured no +previous doubts of my ability to execute my fatal purpose. In this +respect I was deceived. Suffocation would not come at my bidding. My +muscles and limbs rebelled against my will. There was a mechanical +repugnance to the loss of life, which I could not vanquish. My struggles +might thrust me below the surface, but my lips were spontaneously shut, +and excluded the torrent from my lungs. When my breath was exhausted, +the efforts that kept me at the bottom were involuntarily remitted, and +I rose to the surface. + +"I cursed my own pusillanimity. Thrice I plunged to the bottom, and as +often rose again. My aversion to life swiftly diminished, and at length +I consented to make use of my skill in swimming, which has seldom been +exceeded, to prolong my existence. I landed in a few minutes on the +Jersey shore. + +"This scheme being frustrated, I sunk into dreariness and inactivity. I +felt as if no dependence could be placed upon my courage, as if any +effort I should make for self-destruction would be fruitless; yet +existence was as void as ever of enjoyment and embellishment. My means +of living were annihilated. I saw no path before me. To shun the +presence of mankind was my sovereign wish. Since I could not die by my +own hands, I must be content to crawl upon the surface, till a superior +fate should permit me to perish. + +"I wandered into the centre of the wood. I stretched myself on the mossy +verge of a brook, and gazed at the stars till they disappeared. The next +day was spent with little variation. The cravings of hunger were felt, +and the sensation was a joyous one, since it afforded me the practicable +means of death. To refrain from food was easy, since some efforts would +be needful to procure it, and these efforts should not be made. Thus was +the sweet oblivion for which I so earnestly panted placed within my +reach. + +"Three days of abstinence, and reverie, and solitude, succeeded. On the +evening of the fourth, I was seated on a rock, with my face buried in my +hands. Some one laid his hand upon my shoulder. I started and looked up. +I beheld a face beaming with compassion and benignity. He endeavoured to +extort from me the cause of my solitude and sorrow. I disregarded his +entreaties, and was obstinately silent. + +"Finding me invincible in this respect, he invited me to his cottage, +which was hard by. I repelled him at first with impatience and anger, +but he was not to be discouraged or intimidated. To elude his +persuasions I was obliged to comply. My strength was gone, and the vital +fabric was crumbling into pieces. A fever raged in my veins, and I was +consoled by reflecting that my life was at once assailed by famine and +disease. + +"Meanwhile, my gloomy meditations experienced no respite. I incessantly +ruminated on the events of my past life. The long series of my crimes +arose daily and afresh to my imagination. The image of Lodi was +recalled, his expiring looks and the directions which were mutually +given respecting his sister's and his property. + +"As I perpetually revolved these incidents, they assumed new forms, and +were linked with new associations. The volume written by his father, and +transferred to me by tokens which were now remembered to be more +emphatic than the nature of the composition seemed to justify, was +likewise remembered. It came attended by recollections respecting a +volume which I filled, when a youth, with extracts from the Roman and +Greek poets. Besides this literary purpose, I likewise used to preserve +in it the bank-bills with the keeping or carriage of which I chanced to +be entrusted. This image led me back to the leather case containing +Lodi's property, which was put into my hands at the same time with the +volume. + +"These images now gave birth to a third conception, which darted on my +benighted understanding like an electrical flash. Was it not possible +that part of Lodi's property might be enclosed within the leaves of this +volume? In hastily turning it over, I recollected to have noticed leaves +whose edges by accident or design adhered to each other. Lodi, in +speaking of the sale of his father's West-India property, mentioned that +the sum obtained for it was forty thousand dollars. Half only of this +sum had been discovered by me. How had the remainder been appropriated? +Surely this volume contained it. + +"The influence of this thought was like the infusion of a new soul into +my frame. From torpid and desperate, from inflexible aversion to +medicine and food, I was changed in a moment into vivacity and hope, +into ravenous avidity for whatever could contribute to my restoration to +health. + +"I was not without pungent regrets and racking fears. That this volume +would be ravished away by creditors or plunderers was possible. Every +hour might be that which decided my fate. The first impulse was to seek +my dwelling and search for this precious deposit. + +"Meanwhile, my perturbations and impatience only exasperated my disease. +While chained to my bed, the rumour of pestilence was spread abroad. +This event, however, generally calamitous, was propitious to me, and was +hailed with satisfaction. It multiplied the chances that my house and +its furniture would be unmolested. + +"My friend was assiduous and indefatigable in his kindness. My +deportment, before and subsequent to the revival of my hopes, was +incomprehensible, and argued nothing less than insanity. My thoughts +were carefully concealed from him, and all that he witnessed was +contradictory and unintelligible. + +"At length, my strength was sufficiently restored. I resisted all my +protector's importunities to postpone my departure till the perfect +confirmation of my health. I designed to enter the city at midnight, +that prying eyes might be eluded; to bear with me a candle and the means +of lighting it, to explore my way to my ancient study, and to ascertain +my future claim to existence and felicity. + +"I crossed the river this morning. My impatience would not suffer me to +wait till evening. Considering the desolation of the city, I thought I +might venture to approach thus near, without hazard of detection. The +house, at all its avenues, was closed. I stole into the back court. A +window-shutter proved to be unfastened. I entered, and discovered +closets and cabinets unfastened and emptied of all their contents. At +this spectacle my heart sunk. My books, doubtless, had shared the common +destiny. My blood throbbed with painful vehemence as I approached the +study and opened the door. + +"My hopes, that languished for a moment, were revived by the sight of my +shelves, furnished as formerly. I had lighted my candle below, for I +desired not to awaken observation and suspicion by unclosing the +windows. My eye eagerly sought the spot where I remembered to have left +the volume. Its place was empty. The object of all my hopes had eluded +my grasp, and disappeared forever. + +"To paint my confusion, to repeat my execrations on the infatuation +which had rendered, during so long a time that it was in my possession, +this treasure useless to me, and my curses of the fatal interference +which had snatched away the prize, would be only aggravations of my +disappointment and my sorrow. You found me in this state, and know what +followed." + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + + +This narrative threw new light on the character of Welbeck. If accident +had given him possession of this treasure, it was easy to predict on +what schemes of luxury and selfishness it would have been expended. The +same dependence on the world's erroneous estimation, the same devotion +to imposture, and thoughtlessness of futurity, would have constituted +the picture of his future life, as had distinguished the past. + +This money was another's. To retain it for his own use was criminal. Of +this crime he appeared to be as insensible as ever. His own +gratification was the supreme law of his actions. To be subjected to the +necessity of honest labour was the heaviest of all evils, and one from +which he was willing to escape by the commission of suicide. + +The volume which he sought was mine. It was my duty to restore it to the +rightful owner, or, if the legal claimant could not be found, to employ +it in the promotion of virtue and happiness. To give it to Welbeck was +to consecrate it to the purpose of selfishness and misery. My right, +legally considered, was as valid as his. + +But, if I intended not to resign it to him, was it proper to disclose +the truth and explain by whom the volume was purloined from the shelf? +The first impulse was to hide this truth; but my understanding had been +taught, by recent occurrences, to question the justice and deny the +usefulness of secrecy in any case. My principles were true; my motives +were pure: why should I scruple to avow my principles and vindicate my +actions? + +Welbeck had ceased to be dreaded or revered. That awe which was once +created by his superiority of age, refinement of manners, and dignity +of garb, had vanished. I was a boy in years, an indigent and uneducated +rustic; but I was able to discern the illusions of power and riches, and +abjured every claim to esteem that was not founded on integrity. There +was no tribunal before which I should falter in asserting the truth, and +no species of martyrdom which I would not cheerfully embrace in its +cause. + +After some pause, I said, "Cannot you conjecture in what way this volume +has disappeared?" + +"No," he answered, with a sigh. "Why, of all his volumes, this only +should have vanished, was an inexplicable enigma." + +"Perhaps," said I, "it is less important to know how it was removed, +than by whom it is now possessed." + +"Unquestionably; and yet, unless that knowledge enables me to regain the +possession, it will be useless." + +"Useless then it will be, for the present possessor will never return it +to you." + +"Indeed," replied he, in a tone of dejection, "your conjecture is most +probable. Such a prize is of too much value to be given up." + +"What I have said flows not from conjecture, but from knowledge. I know +that it will never be restored to you." + +At these words, Welbeck looked at me with anxiety and doubt:--"You +_know_ that it will not! Have you any knowledge of the book? Can you +tell me what has become of it?" + +"Yes. After our separation on the river, I returned to this house. I +found this volume and secured it. You rightly suspected its contents. +The money was there." + +Welbeck started as if he had trodden on a mine of gold. His first +emotion was rapturous, but was immediately chastened by some degree of +doubt:--"What has become of it? Have you got it? Is it entire? Have you +it with you?" + +"It is unimpaired. I have got it, and shall hold it as a sacred trust +for the rightful proprietor." + +The tone with which this declaration was accompanied shook the new-born +confidence of Welbeck. "The rightful proprietor! true, but I am he. To +me only it belongs, and to me you are, doubtless, willing to restore +it." + +"Mr. Welbeck! It is not my desire to give you perplexity or anguish; to +sport with your passions. On the supposition of your death, I deemed it +no infraction of justice to take this manuscript. Accident unfolded its +contents. I could not hesitate to choose my path. The natural and legal +successor of Vincentio Lodi is his sister. To her, therefore, this +property belongs, and to her only will I give it." + +"Presumptuous boy! And this is your sage decision. I tell you that I am +the owner, and to me you shall render it. Who is this girl? Childish and +ignorant! Unable to consult and to act for herself on the most trivial +occasion. Am I not, by the appointment of her dying brother, her +protector and guardian? Her age produces a legal incapacity of property. +Do you imagine that so obvious an expedient as that of procuring my +legal appointment as her guardian was overlooked by me? If it were +neglected, still my title to provide her subsistence and enjoyment is +unquestionable. + +"Did I not rescue her from poverty, and prostitution, and infamy? Have I +not supplied all her wants with incessant solicitude? Whatever her +condition required has been plenteously supplied. The dwelling and its +furniture was hers, as far a rigid jurisprudence would permit. To +prescribe her expenses and govern her family was the province of her +guardian. + +"You have heard the tale of my anguish and despair. Whence did they flow +but from the frustration of schemes projected for her benefit, as they +were executed with her money and by means which the authority of her +guardian fully justified? Why have I encountered this contagious +atmosphere, and explored my way, like a thief, to this recess, but with +a view to rescue her from poverty and restore to her her own? + +"Your scruples are ridiculous and criminal. I treat them with less +severity, because your youth is raw and your conceptions crude. But if, +after this proof of the justice of my claim, you hesitate to restore the +money, I shall treat you as a robber, who has plundered my cabinet and +refused to refund his spoil." + +These reasonings were powerful and new. I was acquainted with the rights +of guardianship. Welbeck had, in some respects, acted as the friend of +this lady. To vest himself with this office was the conduct which her +youth and helplessness prescribed to her friend. His title to this +money, as her guardian, could not be denied. + +But how was this statement compatible with former representations? No +mention had then been made of guardianship. By thus acting, he would +have thwarted all his schemes for winning the esteem of mankind and +fostering the belief which the world entertained of his opulence and +independence. + +I was thrown, by these thoughts, into considerable perplexity. If his +statement were true, his claim to this money was established; but I +questioned its truth. To intimate my doubts of his veracity would be to +provoke abhorrence and outrage. + +His last insinuation was peculiarly momentous. Suppose him the +fraudulent possessor of this money: shall I be justified in taking it +away by violence under pretence of restoring it to the genuine +proprietor, who, for aught I know, may be dead, or with whom, at least, +I may never procure a meeting? But will not my behaviour on this +occasion be deemed illicit? I entered Welbeck's habitation at midnight, +proceeded to his closet, possessed myself of portable property, and +retired unobserved. Is not guilt imputable to an action like this? + +Welbeck waited with impatience for a conclusion to my pause. My +perplexity and indecision did not abate, and my silence continued. At +length, he repeated his demands, with new vehemence. I was compelled to +answer. I told him, in few words, that his reasonings had not convinced +me of the equity of his claim, and that my determination was unaltered. + +He had not expected this inflexibility from one in my situation. The +folly of opposition, when my feebleness and loneliness were contrasted +with his activity and resources, appeared to him monstrous and glaring; +but his contempt was converted into rage and fear when he reflected +that this folly might finally defeat his hopes. He had probably +determined to obtain the money, let the purchase cost what it would, but +was willing to exhaust pacific expedients before he should resort to +force. He might likewise question whether the money was within his +reach. I had told him that I had it, but whether it was now about me was +somewhat dubious; yet, though he used no direct inquiries, he chose to +proceed on the supposition of its being at hand. His angry tones were +now changed into those of remonstrance and persuasion:-- + +"Your present behaviour, Mervyn, does not justify the expectation I had +formed of you. You have been guilty of a base theft. To this you have +added the deeper crime of ingratitude, but your infatuation and folly +are, at least, as glaring as your guilt. Do you think I can credit your +assertions that you keep this money for another, when I recollect that +six weeks have passed since you carried it off? Why have you not sought +the owner and restored it to her? If your intentions had been honest, +would you have suffered so long a time to elapse without doing this? It +is plain that you designed to keep it for your own use. + +"But, whether this were your purpose or not, you have no longer power to +restore it or retain it. You say that you came hither to die. If so, +what is to be the fate of the money? In your present situation you +cannot gain access to the lady. Some other must inherit this wealth. +Next to _Signora Lodi_, whose right can be put in competition with mine? +But, if you will not give it to me on my own account, let it be given in +trust for her. Let me be the bearer of it to her own hands. I have +already shown you that my claim to it, as her guardian, is legal and +incontrovertible, but this claim I waive. I will merely be the executor +of your will. I will bind myself to comply with your directions by any +oath, however solemn and tremendous, which you shall prescribe." + +As long as my own heart acquitted me, these imputations of dishonesty +affected me but little. They excited no anger, because they originated +in ignorance, and were rendered plausible to Welbeck by such facts as +were known to him. It was needless to confute the charge by elaborate +and circumstantial details. + +It was true that my recovery was, in the highest degree, improbable, and +that my death would put an end to my power over this money; but had I +not determined to secure its useful application in case of my death? +This project was obstructed by the presence of Welbeck; but I hoped that +his love of life would induce him to fly. He might wrest this volume +from me by violence, or he might wait till my death should give him +peaceable possession. But these, though probable events, were not +certain, and would, by no means, justify the voluntary surrender. His +strength, if employed for this end, could not be resisted; but then it +would be a sacrifice, not a choice, but necessity. + +Promises were easily given, but were surely not to be confided in. +Welbeck's own tale, in which it could not be imagined that he had +aggravated his defects, attested the frailty of his virtue. To put into +his hands a sum like this, in expectation of his delivering it to +another, when my death would cover the transaction with impenetrable +secrecy, would be, indeed, a proof of that infatuation which he thought +proper to impute to me. + +These thoughts influenced my resolutions, but they were revolved in +silence. To state them verbally was useless. They would not justify my +conduct in his eyes. They would only exasperate dispute, and impel him +to those acts of violence which I was desirous of preventing. The sooner +this controversy should end, and I in any measure be freed from the +obstruction of his company, the better. + +"Mr. Welbeck," said I, "my regard to your safety compels me to wish that +this interview should terminate. At a different time, I should not be +unwilling to discuss this matter. Now it will be fruitless. My +conscience points out to me too clearly the path I should pursue for me +to mistake it. As long as I have power over this money, I shall keep it +for the use of the unfortunate lady whom I have seen in this house. I +shall exert myself to find her; but, if that be impossible, I shall +appropriate it in a way in which you shall have no participation." + +I will not repeat the contest that succeeded between my forbearance and +his passions. I listened to the dictates of his rage and his avarice in +silence. Astonishment at my inflexibility was blended with his anger. By +turns he commented on the guilt and on the folly of my resolutions. +Sometimes his emotions would mount into fury, and he would approach me +in a menacing attitude, and lift his hand as if he would exterminate me +at a blow. My languid eyes, my cheeks glowing and my temples throbbing +with fever, and my total passiveness, attracted his attention and +arrested his stroke. Compassion would take the place of rage, and the +belief be revived that remonstrances and arguments would answer his +purpose. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. + + +This scene lasted I know not how long. Insensibly the passions and +reasonings of Welbeck assumed a new form. A grief, mingled with +perplexity, overspread his countenance. He ceased to contend or to +speak. His regards were withdrawn from me, on whom they had hitherto +been fixed; and, wandering or vacant, testified a conflict of mind +terrible beyond any that my young imagination had ever conceived. + +For a time he appeared to be unconscious of my presence. He moved to and +fro with unequal steps, and with gesticulations that possessed a +horrible but indistinct significance. Occasionally he struggled for +breath, and his efforts were directed to remove some choking impediment. + +No test of my fortitude had hitherto occurred equal to that to which it +was now subjected. The suspicion which this deportment suggested was +vague and formless. The tempest which I witnessed was the prelude of +horror. These were throes which would terminate in the birth of some +gigantic and sanguinary purpose. Did he meditate to offer a bloody +sacrifice? Was his own death or was mine to attest the magnitude of his +despair or the impetuosity of his vengeance? + +Suicide was familiar to his thoughts. He had consented to live but on +one condition; that of regaining possession of this money. Should I be +justified in driving him, by my obstinate refusal, to this fatal +consummation of his crimes? Yet my fear of this catastrophe was +groundless. Hitherto he had argued and persuaded; but this method was +pursued because it was more eligible than the employment of force, or +than procrastination. + +No. These were tokens that pointed to me. Some unknown instigation was +at work within him, to tear away his remnant of humanity and fit him for +the office of my murderer. I knew not how the accumulation of guilt +could contribute to his gratification or security. His actions had been +partially exhibited and vaguely seen. What extenuations or omissions had +vitiated his former or recent narrative; how far his actual performances +were congenial with the deed which was now to be perpetrated, I knew +not. + +These thoughts lent new rapidity to my blood. I raised my head from the +pillow, and watched the deportment of this man with deeper attention. +The paroxysm which controlled him at length, in some degree, subsided. +He muttered, "Yes. It must come. My last humiliation must cover me. My +last confession must be made. To die, and leave behind me this train of +enormous perils, must not be. + +"O Clemenza! O Mervyn! Ye have not merited that I should leave you a +legacy of persecution and death. Your safety must be purchased at what +price my malignant destiny will set upon it. The cord of the +executioner, the note of everlasting infamy, is better than to leave you +beset by the consequences of my guilt. It must not be." + +Saying this, Welbeck cast fearful glances at the windows and door. He +examined every avenue and listened. Thrice he repeated this scrutiny. +Having, as it seemed, ascertained that no one lurked within audience, he +approached the bed. He put his mouth close to my face. He attempted to +speak, but once more examined the apartment with suspicious glances. + +He drew closer, and at length, in a tone scarcely articulate, and +suffocated with emotion, he spoke:--"Excellent but fatally-obstinate +youth! Know at least the cause of my importunity. Know at least the +depth of my infatuation and the enormity of my guilt. + +"The bills--surrender them to me, and save yourself from persecution and +disgrace. Save the woman whom you wish to benefit, from the blackest +imputations; from hazard to her life and her fame; from languishing in +dungeons; from expiring on the gallows! + +"The bills--oh, save me from the bitterness of death! Let the evils to +which my miserable life has given birth terminate here and in myself. +Surrender them to me, for----" + +There he stopped. His utterence was choked by terror. Rapid glances were +again darted at the windows and door. The silence was uninterrupted, +except by far-off sounds, produced by some moving carriage. Once more he +summoned resolution, and spoke:-- + +"Surrender them to me--for--_they are forged_! + +"Formerly I told you, that a scheme of forgery had been conceived. Shame +would not suffer me to add, that my scheme was carried into execution. +The bills were fashioned, but my fears contended against my necessities, +and forbade me to attempt to exchange them. The interview with Lodi +saved me from the dangerous experiment. I enclosed them in that volume, +as the means of future opulence, to be used when all other and less +hazardous resources should fail. + +"In the agonies of my remorse at the death of Watson, they were +forgotten. They afterwards recurred to recollection. My wishes pointed +to the grave; but the stroke that should deliver me from life was +suspended only till I could hasten hither, get possession of these +papers, and destroy them. + +"When I thought upon the chances that should give them an owner; bring +them into circulation; load the innocent with suspicion; and lead them +to trial, and, perhaps, to death, my sensations were fraught with agony; +earnestly as I panted for death, it was necessarily deferred till I had +gained possession of and destroyed these papers. + +"What now remains? You have found them. Happily they have not been used. +Give them, therefore, to me, that I may crush at once the brood of +mischiefs which they could not but generate." + +This disclosure was strange. It was accompanied with every token of +sincerity. How had I tottered on the brink of destruction! If I had made +use of this money, in what a labyrinth of misery might I not have been +involved! My innocence could never have been proved. An alliance with +Welbeck could not have failed to be inferred. My career would have found +an ignominious close; or, if my punishment had been transmuted into +slavery and toil, would the testimony of my conscience have supported +me? + +I shuddered at the view of those disasters from which I was rescued by +the miraculous chance which led me to this house. Welbeck's request was +salutary to me and honourable to himself. I could not hesitate a moment +in compliance. The notes were enclosed in paper, and deposited in a fold +of my clothes. I put my hand upon them. + +My motion and attention were arrested, at the instant, by a noise which +arose in the street. Footsteps were heard upon the pavement before the +door, and voices, as if busy in discourse. This incident was adapted to +infuse the deepest alarm into myself and my companion. The motives of +our trepidation were, indeed, different, and were infinitely more +powerful in my case than in his. It portended to me nothing less than +the loss of my asylum, and condemnation to an hospital. + +Welbeck hurried to the door, to listen to the conversation below. This +interval was pregnant with thought. That impulse which led my +reflections from Welbeck to my own state passed away in a moment, and +suffered me to meditate anew upon the terms of that confession which had +just been made. + +Horror at the fate which this interview had enabled me to shun was +uppermost in my conceptions. I was eager to surrender these fatal bills. +I held them for that purpose in my hand, and was impatient for Welbeck's +return. He continued at the door; stooping, with his face averted, and +eagerly attentive to the conversation in the street. + +All the circumstances of my present situation tended to arrest the +progress of thought and chain my contemplations to one image; but even +now there was room for foresight and deliberation. Welbeck intended to +destroy these bills. Perhaps he had not been sincere; or, if his +purpose had been honestly disclosed, this purpose might change when the +bills were in his possession. His poverty and sanguineness of temper +might prompt him to use them. + +That this conduct was evil, and would only multiply his miseries, could +not be questioned. Why should I subject his frailty to this temptation? +The destruction of these bills was the loudest injunction of my duty; +was demanded by every sanction which bound me to promote the welfare of +mankind. + +The means of destruction was easy. A lighted candle stood on a table, at +the distance of a few yards. Why should I hesitate a moment to +annihilate so powerful a cause of error and guilt? A passing instant was +sufficient. A momentary lingering might change the circumstances that +surrounded me, and frustrate my project. + +My languors were suspended by the urgencies of this occasion. I started +from my bed and glided to the table. Seizing the notes with my right +hand, I held them in the flame of the candle, and then threw them, +blazing, on the floor. + +The sudden illumination was perceived by Welbeck. The cause of it +appeared to suggest itself as soon. He turned, and, marking the paper +where it lay, leaped to the spot, and extinguished the fire with his +foot. His interposition was too late. Only enough of them remained to +inform him of the nature of the sacrifice. + +Welbeck now stood, with limbs trembling, features aghast, and eyes +glaring upon me. For a time he was without speech. The storm was +gathering in silence, and at length burst upon me. In a tone menacing +and loud, he exclaimed,-- + +"Wretch! what have you done?" + +"I have done justly. These notes were false. You desired to destroy +them, that they might not betray the innocent. I applauded your purpose, +and have saved you from the danger of temptation by destroying them +myself." + +"Maniac! Miscreant! To be fooled by so gross an artifice! The notes were +genuine. The tale of their forgery was false and meant only to wrest +them from you. Execrable and perverse idiot! Your deed has sealed my +perdition. It has sealed your own. You shall pay for it with your blood. +I will slay you by inches. I will stretch you, as you have stretched me, +on the rack." + +During this speech, all was frenzy and storm in the countenance and +features of Welbeck. Nothing less could be expected than that the scene +would terminate in some bloody catastrophe. I bitterly regretted the +facility with which I had been deceived, and the precipitation of my +sacrifice. The act, however lamentable, could not be revoked. What +remained but to encounter or endure its consequences with unshrinking +firmness? + +The contest was too unequal. It is possible that the frenzy which +actuated Welbeck might have speedily subsided. It is more likely that +his passions would have been satiated with nothing but my death. This +event was precluded by loud knocks at the street door, and calls by some +one on the pavement without, of--"Who is within? Is any one within?" + +These noises gave a new direction to Welbeck's thoughts. "They are +coming," said he. "They will treat you as a sick man and a thief. I +cannot desire you to suffer a worse evil than they will inflict. I leave +you to your fate." So saying, he rushed out of the room. + +Though confounded and stunned by this rapid succession of events, I was +yet able to pursue measures for eluding these detested visitants. I +first extinguished the light, and then, observing that the parley in the +street continued and grew louder, I sought an asylum in the remotest +corner of the house. During my former abode here, I noticed that a +trap-door opened in the ceiling of the third story, to which you were +conducted by a movable stair or ladder. I considered that this, +probably, was an opening into a narrow and darksome nook formed by the +angle of the roof. By ascending, drawing after me the ladder, and +closing the door, I should escape the most vigilant search. + +Enfeebled as I was by my disease, my resolution rendered me strenuous. I +gained the uppermost room, and, mounting the ladder, found myself at a +sufficient distance from suspicion. The stair was hastily drawn up, and +the door closed. In a few minutes, however, my new retreat proved to be +worse than any for which it was possible to change it. The air was +musty, stagnant, and scorchingly hot. My breathing became difficult, and +I saw that to remain here ten minutes would unavoidably produce +suffocation. + +My terror of intruders had rendered me blind to the consequences of +immuring myself in this cheerless recess. It was incumbent on me to +extricate myself as speedily as possible. I attempted to lift the door. +My first effort was successless. Every inspiration was quicker and more +difficult than the former. As my terror, so my strength and my exertions +increased. Finally my trembling hand lighted on a nail that was +imperfectly driven into the wood, and which, by affording me a firmer +hold, enabled me at length to raise it, and to inhale the air from +beneath. + +Relieved from my new peril by this situation, I bent an attentive ear +through the opening, with a view to ascertain if the house had been +entered or if the outer door was still beset, but could hear nothing. +Hence I was authorized to conclude that the people had departed, and +that I might resume my former station without hazard. + +Before I descended, however, I cast a curious eye over this recess. It +was large enough to accommodate a human being. The means by which it was +entered were easily concealed. Though narrow and low, it was long, and, +were it possible to contrive some inlet for the air, one studious of +concealment might rely on its protection with unbounded confidence. + +My scrutiny was imperfect by reason of the faint light which found its +way through the opening; yet it was sufficient to set me afloat on a sea +of new wonders and subject my fortitude to a new test.-- + +Here Mervyn paused in his narrative. A minute passed in silence and +seeming indecision. His perplexities gradually disappeared, and he +continued:-- + + * * * * * + +I have promised to relate the momentous incidents of my life, and have +hitherto been faithful in my enumeration. There is nothing which I more +detest than equivocation and mystery. Perhaps, however, I shall now +incur some imputation of that kind. I would willingly escape the +accusation, but confess that I am hopeless of escaping it. + +I might, indeed, have precluded your guesses and surmises by omitting to +relate what befell me from the time of my leaving my chamber till I +regained it. I might deceive you by asserting that nothing remarkable +occurred; but this would be false, and every sacrifice is trivial which +is made upon the altar of sincerity. Besides, the time may come when no +inconvenience will arise from minute descriptions of the objects which I +now saw, and of the reasonings and inferences which they suggested to my +understanding. At present, it appears to be my duty to pass them over in +silence; but it would be needless to conceal from you that the interval, +though short, and the scrutiny, though hasty, furnished matter which my +curiosity devoured with unspeakable eagerness, and from which +consequences may hereafter flow, deciding on my peace and my life. + +Nothing, however, occurred which could detain me long in this spot. I +once more sought the lower story and threw myself on the bed which I had +left. My mind was thronged with the images flowing from my late +adventure. My fever had gradually increased, and my thoughts were +deformed by inaccuracy and confusion. + +My heart did not sink when I reverted to my own condition. That I should +quickly be disabled from moving, was readily perceived. The foresight of +my destiny was steadfast and clear. To linger for days in this +comfortless solitude, to ask in vain, not for powerful restoratives or +alleviating cordials, but for water to moisten my burning lips and abate +the torments of thirst; ultimately to expire in torpor or frenzy, was +the fate to which I looked forward; yet I was not terrified. I seemed to +be sustained by a preternatural energy. I felt as if the opportunity of +combating such evils was an enviable privilege, and, though none would +witness my victorious magnanimity, yet to be conscious that praise was +my due was all that my ambition required. + +These sentiments were doubtless tokens of delirium. The excruciating +agonies which now seized upon my head, and the cord which seemed to be +drawn across my breast, and which, as my fancy imagined, was tightened +by some forcible hand, with a view to strangle me, were incompatible +with sober and coherent views. + +Thirst was the evil which chiefly oppressed me. The means of relief was +pointed out by nature and habit. I rose, and determined to replenish my +pitcher at the well. It was easier, however, to descend than to return. +My limbs refused to bear me, and I sat down upon the lower step of the +staircase. Several hours had elapsed since my entrance into this +dwelling, and it was now night. + +My imagination now suggested a new expedient. Medlicote was a generous +and fearless spirit. To put myself under his protection, if I could walk +as far as his lodgings, was the wisest proceeding which I could adopt. +From this design, my incapacity to walk thus far, and the consequences +of being discovered in the street, had hitherto deterred me. These +impediments were now, in the confusion of my understanding, overlooked +or despised, and I forthwith set out upon this hopeless expedition. + +The doors communicating with the court, and, through the court, with the +street, were fastened by inside bolts. These were easily withdrawn, and +I issued forth with alacrity and confidence. My perturbed senses and the +darkness hindered me from discerning the right way. I was conscious of +this difficulty, but was not disheartened. I proceeded, as I have since +discovered, in a direction different from the true, but hesitated not +till my powers were exhausted and I sunk upon the ground. I closed my +eyes, and dismissed all fear, and all foresight of futurity. In this +situation I remained some hours, and should probably have expired on +this spot, had not I attracted your notice, and been provided, under +this roof, with all that medical skill, that the tenderest humanity +could suggest. + +In consequence of your care, I have been restored to life and to health. +Your conduct was not influenced by the prospect of pecuniary recompense, +of service, or of gratitude. It is only in one way that I am able to +heighten the gratification which must flow from reflection on your +conduct:--by showing that the being whose life you have prolonged, +though uneducated, ignorant, and poor, is not profligate and worthless, +and will not dedicate that life which your bounty has given, to +mischievous or contemptible purposes. + + +END OF VOL I. + + + + +ARTHUR MERVYN; + +OR, + +MEMOIRS OF THE YEAR 1793. + +VOL. II. + + + + +ARTHUR MERVYN. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + + +Here ended the narrative of Mervyn. Surely its incidents were of no +common kind. During this season of pestilence, my opportunities of +observation had been numerous, and I had not suffered them to pass +unimproved. The occurrences which fell within my own experience bore a +general resemblance to those which had just been related, but they did +not hinder the latter from striking on my mind with all the force of +novelty. They served no end, but as vouchers for the truth of the tale. + +Surely the youth had displayed inimitable and heroic qualities. His +courage was the growth of benevolence and reason, and not the child of +insensibility and the nursling of habit. He had been qualified for the +encounter of gigantic dangers by no laborious education. He stepped +forth upon the stage, unfurnished, by anticipation or experience, with +the means of security against fraud; and yet, by the aid of pure +intentions, had frustrated the wiles of an accomplished and veteran +deceiver. + +I blessed the chance which placed the youth under my protection. When I +reflected on that tissue of nice contingencies which led him to my door, +and enabled me to save from death a being of such rare endowments, my +heart overflowed with joy, not unmingled with regrets and trepidation. +How many have been cut off by this disease, in their career of virtue +and their blossom-time of genius! How many deeds of heroism and +self-devotion are ravished from existence, and consigned to hopeless +oblivion! + +I had saved the life of this youth. This was not the limit of my duty or +my power. Could I not render that life profitable to himself and to +mankind? The gains of my profession were slender; but these gains were +sufficient for his maintenance as well as my own. By residing with me, +partaking my instructions, and reading my books, he would, in a few +years, be fitted for the practice of physic. A science whose truths are +so conducive to the welfare of mankind, and which comprehends the whole +system of nature, could not but gratify a mind so beneficent and +strenuous as his. + +This scheme occurred to me as soon as the conclusion of his tale allowed +me to think. I did not immediately mention it, since the approbation of +my wife, of whose concurrence, however, I entertained no doubt, was +previously to be obtained. Dismissing it, for the present, from my +thoughts, I reverted to the incidents of his tale. + +The lady whom Welbeck had betrayed and deserted was not unknown to me. I +was but too well acquainted with her fate. If she had been single in +calamity, her tale would have been listened to with insupportable +sympathy; but the frequency of the spectacle of distress seems to lessen +the compassion with which it is reviewed. Now that those scenes are only +remembered, my anguish is greater than when they were witnessed. Then +every new day was only a repetition of the disasters of the foregoing. +My sensibility, if not extinguished, was blunted; and I gazed upon the +complicated ills of poverty and sickness with a degree of unconcern on +which I should once have reflected with astonishment. + +The fate of Clemenza Lodi was not, perhaps, more signal than many which +have occurred. It threw detestable light upon the character of Welbeck, +and showed him to be more inhuman than the tale of Mervyn had evinced +him to be. That man, indeed, was hitherto imperfectly seen. The time had +not come which should fully unfold the enormity of his transgressions +and the complexity of his frauds. + +There lived in a remote quarter of the city a woman, by name Villars, +who passed for the widow of an English officer. Her manners and mode of +living were specious. She had three daughters, well trained in the +school of fashion, and elegant in person, manners, and dress. They had +lately arrived from Europe, and, for a time, received from their +neighbours that respect to which their education and fortune appeared to +lay claim. + +The fallacy of their pretensions slowly appeared. It began to be +suspected that their subsistence was derived not from pension or +patrimony, but from the wages of pollution. Their habitation was +clandestinely frequented by men who were unfaithful to their secret; one +of these was allied to me by ties which authorized me in watching his +steps and detecting his errors, with a view to his reformation. From him +I obtained a knowledge of the genuine character of these women. + +A man like Welbeck, who was the slave of depraved appetites, could not +fail of being quickly satiated with innocence and beauty. Some accident +introduced him to the knowledge of this family, and the youngest +daughter found him a proper subject on which to exercise her artifices. +It was to the frequent demands made upon his purse, by this woman, that +part of the embarrassments in which Mervyn found him involved are to be +ascribed. + +To this circumstance must likewise be imputed his anxiety to transfer to +some other the possession of the unhappy stranger. Why he concealed from +Mervyn his connection with Lucy Villars may be easily imagined. His +silence with regard to Clemenza's asylum will not create surprise, when +it was told that she was placed with Mrs. Villars. On what conditions +she was received under this roof, cannot be so readily conjectured. It +is obvious, however, to suppose that advantage was to be taken of her +ignorance and weakness, and that they hoped, in time, to make her an +associate in their profligate schemes. + +The appearance of pestilence, meanwhile, threw them into panic, and they +hastened to remove from danger. Mrs. Villars appears to have been a +woman of no ordinary views. She stooped to the vilest means of amassing +money; but this money was employed to secure to herself and her +daughters the benefits of independence. She purchased the house which +she occupied in the city, and a mansion in the environs, well built and +splendidly furnished. To the latter, she and her family, of which the +Italian girl was now a member, retired at the close of July. + +I have mentioned that the source of my intelligence was a kinsman, who +had been drawn from the paths of sobriety and rectitude by the +impetuosity of youthful passions. He had power to confess and deplore, +but none to repair, his errors. One of these women held him by a spell +which he struggled in vain to dissolve, and by which, in spite of +resolutions and remorses, he was drawn to her feet, and made to +sacrifice to her pleasure his reputation and his fortune. + +My house was his customary abode during those intervals in which he was +persuaded to pursue his profession. Some time before the infection began +its progress, he had disappeared. No tidings were received of him, till +a messenger arrived, entreating my assistance. I was conducted to the +house of Mrs. Villars, in which I found no one but my kinsman. Here, it +seems, he had immured himself from my inquiries, and, on being seized by +the reigning malady, had been deserted by the family, who, ere they +departed, informed me by a messenger of his condition. + +Despondency combined with his disease to destroy him. Before he died, he +informed me fully of the character of his betrayers. The late arrival, +name, and personal condition of Clemenza Lodi were related. Welbeck was +not named, but was described in terms which, combined with the narrative +of Mervyn, enabled me to recognise the paramour of Lucy Villars in the +man whose crimes had been the principal theme of our discourse. + +Mervyn's curiosity was greatly roused when I intimated my acquaintance +with the fate of Clemenza. In answer to his eager interrogations, I +related what I knew. The tale plunged him into reverie. Recovering, at +length, from his thoughtfulness, he spoke:-- + +"Her condition is perilous. The poverty of Welbeck will drive him far +from her abode. Her profligate protectors will entice her or abandon her +to ruin. Cannot she be saved?" + +"I know not," answered I, "by what means." + +"The means are obvious. Let her remove to some other dwelling. Let her +be apprized of the vices of those who surround her. Let her be entreated +to fly. The will need only be inspired, the danger need only be shown, +and she is safe, for she will remove beyond its reach." + +"Thou art an adventurous youth. Who wilt thou find to undertake the +office? Who will be persuaded to enter the house of a stranger, seek +without an introduction the presence of this girl, tell her that the +house she inhabits is a house of prostitution, prevail on her to believe +the tale, and persuade her to accompany him? Who will open his house to +the fugitive? Whom will you convince that her illicit intercourse with +Welbeck, of which the opprobrious tokens cannot be concealed, has not +fitted her for the company of prostitutes, and made her unworthy of +protection? Who will adopt into their family a stranger whose conduct +has incurred infamy, and whose present associates have, no doubt, made +her worthy of the curse?" + +"True. These are difficulties which I did not foresee. Must she then +perish? Shall not something be done to rescue her from infamy and +guilt?" + +"It is neither in your power nor in mine to do any thing." + +The lateness of the hour put an end to our conversation and summoned us +to repose. I seized the first opportunity of imparting to my wife the +scheme which had occurred, relative to our guest; with which, as I +expected, she readily concurred. In the morning, I mentioned it to +Mervyn. I dwelt upon the benefits that adhered to the medical +profession, the power which it confers of lightening the distresses of +our neighbours, the dignity which popular opinion annexes to it, the +avenue which it opens to the acquisition of competence, the freedom from +servile cares which attends it, and the means of intellectual +gratification with which it supplies us. + +As I spoke, his eyes sparkled with joy. "Yes," said he, with vehemence, +"I willingly embrace your offer. I accept this benefit, because I know +that, if my pride should refuse it, I should prove myself less worthy +than you think, and give you pain, instead of that pleasure which I am +bound to confer. I would enter on the duties and studies of my new +profession immediately; but somewhat is due to Mr. Hadwin and his +daughters. I cannot vanquish my inquietudes respecting them, but by +returning to Malverton and ascertaining their state with my own eyes. +You know in what circumstances I parted with Wallace and Mr. Hadwin. I +am not sure that either of them ever reached home, or that they did not +carry the infection along with them. I now find myself sufficiently +strong to perform the journey, and purposed to have acquainted you, at +this interview, with my intentions. An hour's delay is superfluous, and +I hope you will consent to my setting out immediately. Rural exercise +and air, for a week or fortnight, will greatly contribute to my health." + +No objection could be made to this scheme. His narrative had excited no +common affection in our bosoms for the Hadwins. His visit could not only +inform us of their true state, but would dispel that anxiety which they +could not but entertain respecting our guest. It was a topic of some +surprise that neither Wallace nor Hadwin had returned to the city, with +a view to obtain some tidings of their friend. It was more easy to +suppose them to have been detained by some misfortune, than by +insensibility or indolence. In a few minutes Mervyn bade us adieu, and +set out upon his journey, promising to acquaint us with the state of +affairs as soon as possible after his arrival. We parted from him with +reluctance, and found no consolation but in the prospect of his speedy +return. + +During his absence, conversation naturally turned upon those topics +which were suggested by the narrative and deportment of this youth. +Different conclusions were formed by his two auditors. They had both +contracted a deep interest in his welfare, and an ardent curiosity as to +those particulars which his unfinished story had left in obscurity. The +true character and actual condition of Welbeck were themes of much +speculation. Whether he were dead or alive, near or distant from his +ancient abode, was a point on which neither Mervyn, nor any of those +with whom I had means of intercourse, afforded any information. Whether +he had shared the common fate, and had been carried by the collectors of +the dead from the highway or the hovel to the pits opened alike for the +rich and the poor, the known and the unknown; whether he had escaped to +a foreign shore, or were destined to reappear upon this stage, were +questions involved in uncertainty. + +The disappearance of Watson would, at a different time, have excited +much inquiry and suspicion; but, as this had taken place on the eve of +the epidemic, his kindred and friends would acquiesce, without scruple, +in the belief that he had been involved in the general calamity, and was +to be numbered among the earliest victims. Those of his profession +usually resided in the street where the infection began, and where its +ravages had been most destructive; and this circumstance would +corroborate the conclusions of his friends. + +I did not perceive any immediate advantage to flow from imparting the +knowledge I had lately gained to others. Shortly after Mervyn's +departure to Malverton, I was visited by Wortley. Inquiring for my +guest, I told him that, having recovered his health, he had left my +house. He repeated his invectives against the villany of Welbeck, his +suspicions of Mervyn, and his wishes for another interview with the +youth. Why had I suffered him to depart, and whither had he gone? + +"He has gone for a short time into the country. I expect him to return +in less than a week, when you will meet with him here as often as you +please, for I expect him to take up his abode in this house." + +Much astonishment and disapprobation were expressed by my friend. I +hinted that the lad had made disclosures to me, which justified my +confidence in his integrity. These proofs of his honesty were not of a +nature to be indiscriminately unfolded. Mervyn had authorized me to +communicate so much of his story to Wortley, as would serve to vindicate +him from the charge of being Welbeck's co-partner in fraud; but this end +would only be counteracted by an imperfect tale, and the full recital, +though it might exculpate Mervyn, might produce inconveniences by which +this advantage would be outweighed. + +Wortley, as might be naturally expected, was by no means satisfied with +this statement. He suspected that Mervyn was a wily impostor; that he +had been trained in the arts of fraud, under an accomplished teacher; +that the tale which he had told to me was a tissue of ingenious and +plausible lies; that the mere assertions, however plausible and solemn, +of one like him, whose conduct had incurred such strong suspicions, were +unworthy of the least credit. + +"It cannot be denied," continued my friend, "that he lived with Welbeck +at the time of his elopement; that they disappeared together; that they +entered a boat, at Pine Street wharf, at midnight; that this boat was +discovered by the owner in the possession of a fisherman at Redbank, who +affirmed that he had found it stranded near his door, the day succeeding +that on which they disappeared. Of all this I can supply you with +incontestable proof. If, after this proof, you can give credit to his +story, I shall think you made of very perverse and credulous materials." + +"The proof you mention," said I, "will only enhance his credibility. All +the facts which you have stated have been admitted by him. They +constitute an essential portion of his narrative." + +"What then is the inference? Are not these evidences of a compact +between them? Has he not acknowledged this compact in confessing that he +knew Welbeck was my debtor; that he was apprized of his flight, but that +(what matchless effrontery!) he had promised secrecy, and would, by no +means, betray him? You say he means to return; but of that I doubt. You +will never see his face more. He is too wise to thrust himself again +into the noose; but I do not utterly despair of lighting upon Welbeck. +Old Thetford, Jamieson, and I, have sworn to hunt him through the world. +I have strong hopes that he has not strayed far. Some intelligence has +lately been received, which has enabled us to place our hounds upon his +scent. He may double and skulk; but, if he does not fall into our toils +at last, he will have the agility and cunning, as well as the malignity, +of devils." + +The vengeful disposition thus betrayed by Wortley was not without +excuse. The vigour of his days had been spent in acquiring a slender +capital; his diligence and honesty had succeeded, and he had lately +thought his situation such as to justify marriage with an excellent +woman, to whom he had for years been betrothed, but from whom his +poverty had hitherto compelled him to live separate. Scarcely had this +alliance taken place, and the full career of nuptial enjoyments begun, +when his ill fate exposed him to the frauds of Welbeck, and brought him, +in one evil hour, to the brink of insolvency. + +Jamieson and Thetford, however, were rich, and I had not till now been +informed that they had reasons for pursuing Welbeck with peculiar +animosity. The latter was the uncle of him whose fate had been related +by Mervyn, and was one of those who employed money, not as the medium of +traffic, but as in itself a commodity. He had neither wines nor cloths, +to transmute into silver. He thought it a tedious process to exchange +to-day one hundred dollars for a cask or bale, and to-morrow exchange +the bale or cask for one hundred _and ten_ dollars. It was better to +give the hundred for a piece of paper, which, carried forthwith to the +money-changers, he could procure a hundred twenty-three and +three-fourths. In short, this man's coffers were supplied by the despair +of honest men and the stratagems of rogues. I did not immediately +suspect how this man's prudence and indefatigable attention to his own +interest should allow him to become the dupe of Welbeck. + +"What," said I, "is old Thetford's claim upon Welbeck?" + +"It is a claim," he replied, "that, if it ever be made good, will doom +Welbeck to imprisonment and wholesome labour for life." + +"How? Surely it is nothing more than debt." + +"Have you not heard? But that is no wonder. Happily you are a stranger +to mercantile anxieties and revolutions. Your fortune does not rest on a +basis which an untoward blast may sweep away, or four strokes of a pen +may demolish. That hoary dealer in suspicions was persuaded to put his +hand to three notes for eight hundred dollars each. The _eight_ was then +dexterously prolonged to eigh_teen_; they were duly deposited in time +and place, and the next day Welbeck was credited for fifty-three hundred +and seventy-three, which, an hour after, were _told out_ to his +messenger. Hard to say whether the old man's grief, shame, or rage, be +uppermost. He disdains all comfort but revenge, and that he will procure +at any price. Jamieson, who deals in the same _stuff_ with Thetford, was +outwitted in the same manner, to the same amount, and on the same day. + +"This Welbeck must have powers above the common rate of mortals. Grown +gray in studying the follies and the stratagems of men, these veterans +were overreached. No one pities them. 'Twere well if his artifices had +been limited to such, and he had spared the honest and the poor. It is +for his injuries to men who have earned their scanty subsistence without +forfeiting their probity, that I hate him, and shall exult to see him +suffer all the rigours of the law." Here Wortley's engagements compelled +him to take his leave. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + + +While musing upon these facts, I could not but reflect with astonishment +on the narrow escapes which Mervyn's virtue had experienced. I was by no +means certain that his fame or his life was exempt from all danger, or +that the suspicions which had already been formed respecting him could +possibly be wiped away. Nothing but his own narrative, repeated with +that simple but nervous eloquence which we had witnessed, could rescue +him from the most heinous charges. Was there any tribunal that would not +acquit him on merely hearing his defence? + +Surely the youth was honest. His tale could not be the fruit of +invention; and yet, what are the bounds of fraud? Nature has set no +limits to the combinations of fancy. A smooth exterior, a show of +virtue, and a specious tale, are, a thousand times, exhibited in human +intercourse by craft and subtlety. Motives are endlessly varied, while +actions continue the same; and an acute penetration may not find it hard +to select and arrange motives, suited to exempt from censure any action +that a human being can commit. + +Had I heard Mervyn's story from another, or read it in a book, I might, +perhaps, have found it possible to suspect the truth; but, as long as +the impression made by his tones, gestures, and looks, remained in my +memory, this suspicion was impossible. Wickedness may sometimes be +ambiguous, its mask may puzzle the observer; our judgment may be made to +falter and fluctuate, but the face of Mervyn is the index of an honest +mind. Calm or vehement, doubting or confident, it is full of benevolence +and candour. He that listens to his words may question their truth, but +he that looks upon his countenance when speaking cannot withhold his +faith. + +It was possible, however, to find evidence supporting or confuting his +story. I chanced to be acquainted with a family, by name Althorpe, who +were natives of that part of the country where his father resided. I +paid them a visit, and, after a few preliminaries, mentioned, as if by +accident, the name of Mervyn. They immediately recognised this name as +belonging to one of their ancient neighbours. The death of the wife and +sons, and the seduction of the only daughter by Colvill, with many +pathetic incidents connected with the fate of this daughter, were +mentioned. + +This intelligence induced me to inquire of Mrs. Althorpe, a sensible and +candid woman, if she were acquainted with the recent or present +situation of this family. + +"I cannot say much," she answered, "of my own knowledge. Since my +marriage, I am used to spend a few weeks of summer at my father's, but +am less inquisitive than I once was into the concerns of my old +neighbours. I recollect, however, when there, last year, during _the +fever_, to have heard that Sawny Mervyn had taken a second wife; that +his only son, a youth of eighteen, had thought proper to be highly +offended with his father's conduct, and treated the new mistress of the +house with insult and contempt. I should not much wonder at this, seeing +children are so apt to deem themselves unjustly treated by a second +marriage of their parent; but it was hinted that the boy's jealousy and +discontent were excited by no common cause. The new mother was not much +older than himself, had been a servant of the family, and a criminal +intimacy had subsisted between her, while in that condition, and the +son. Her marriage with his father was justly accounted by their +neighbours a most profligate and odious transaction. The son, perhaps, +had, in such a case, a right to scold, but he ought not to have carried +his anger to such extremes as have been imputed to him. He is said to +have grinned upon her with contempt, and even to have called her +_strumpet_ in the presence of his father and of strangers. + +"It was impossible for such a family to keep together. Arthur took leave +one night to possess himself of all his father's cash, mount the best +horse in his meadow, and elope. For a time, no one knew whither he had +gone. At last, one was said to have met with him in the streets of this +city, metamorphosed from a rustic lad into a fine gentleman. Nothing +could be quicker than this change, for he left the country on a Saturday +morning, and was seen in a French frock and silk stockings, going into +Christ's Church the next day. I suppose he kept it up with a high hand, +as long as his money lasted. + +"My lather paid us a visit last week, and, among other country-news, +told us that Sawny Mervyn had sold his place. His wife had persuaded him +to try his fortune in the Western country. The price of his hundred +acres here would purchase a thousand there, and the man, being very +gross and ignorant, and, withal, quite a simpleton, found no difficulty +in perceiving that a thousand are ten times more than a hundred. He was +not aware that a rood of ground upon Schuylkill is tenfold better than +an acre on the Tennessee. + +"The woman turned out to be an artful profligate. Having sold his ground +and gotten his money, he placed it in her keeping, and she, to enjoy it +with the more security, ran away to the city; leaving him to prosecute +his journey to Kentucky moneyless and alone. Some time after, Mr. +Althorpe and I were at the play, when he pointed out to me a group of +females in an upper box, one of whom was no other than Betty Lawrence. +It was not easy to recognise, in her present gaudy trim, all flaunting +with ribbons and shining with trinkets, the same Betty who used to deal +out pecks of potatoes and superintend her basket of cantaloupes in the +Jersey market, in pasteboard bonnet and linsey petticoat. Her companions +were of the infamous class. If Arthur were still in the city, there is +no doubt that the mother and son might renew the ancient terms of their +acquaintance. + +"The old man, thus robbed and betrayed, sought consolation in the +bottle, of which he had been at all times over-fond. He wandered from +one tavern to another till his credit was exhausted, and then was sent +to jail, where, I believe, he is likely to continue till his death. +Such, my friend, is the history of the Mervyns." + +"What proof," said I, "have you of the immoral conduct of the son? Of +his mistreatment of his mother, and his elopement with his father's +horse and money?" + +"I have no proof but the unanimous report of Mervyn's neighbours. +Respectable and honest men have affirmed, in my hearing, that they had +been present when the boy treated his mother in the way that I have +described. I was, besides, once in company with the old man, and heard +him bitterly inveigh against his son, and charge him with the fact of +stealing his horse and money. I well remember that tears rolled from his +eyes while talking on the subject. As to his being seen in the city the +next day after his elopement, dressed in a most costly and fashionable +manner, I can doubt that as little as the rest, for he that saw him was +my father, and you, who know my father, know what credit is due to his +eyes and his word. He had seen Arthur often enough not to be mistaken, +and described his appearance with great exactness. The boy is extremely +handsome, give him his due; has dark hazel eyes, auburn hair, and very +elegant proportions. His air and gait have nothing of the clown in them. +Take away his jacket and trousers, and you have as spruce a fellow as +ever came from dancing-school or college. He is the exact picture of his +mother, and the most perfect contrast to the sturdy legs, squat figure, +and broad, unthinking, sheepish face of the father that can be imagined. +You must confess that his appearance here is a pretty strong proof of +the father's assertions. The money given for these clothes could not +possibly have been honestly acquired. It is to be presumed that they +were bought or stolen, for how else should they have been gotten?" + +"What was this lad's personal deportment during the life of his mother, +and before his father's second marriage?" + +"Very little to the credit of his heart or his intellects. Being the +youngest son, the only one who at length survived, and having a +powerful resemblance to herself, he became the mother's favourite. His +constitution was feeble, and he loved to stroll in the woods more than +to plough or sow. This idleness was much against his father's +inclination and judgment; and, indeed, it was the foundation of all his +vices. When he could be prevailed upon to do any thing it was in a +bungling manner, and so as to prove that his thoughts were fixed on any +thing except his business. When his assistance was wanted he was never +to be found at hand. They were compelled to search for him among the +rocks and bushes, and he was generally discovered sauntering along the +bank of a river, or lolling in the shade of a tree. This disposition to +inactivity and laziness, in so young a man, was very strange. Persons of +his age are rarely fond of work, but then they are addicted to company, +and sports, and exercises. They ride, or shoot, or frolic; but this +being moped away his time in solitude, never associated with other young +people, never mounted a horse but when he could not help it, and never +fired a gun or angled for a fish in his life. Some people supposed him +to be half an idiot, or, at least, not to be right in his mind; and, +indeed, his conduct was so very perverse and singular, that I do not +wonder at those who accounted for it in this way." + +"But surely," said I, "he had some object of pursuit. Perhaps he was +addicted to books." + +"Far from it. On the contrary, his aversion to school was as great as +his hatred of the plough. He never could get his lessons or bear the +least constraint. He was so much indulged by his mother at home, that +tasks and discipline of any kind were intolerable. He was a perpetual +truant; till, the master one day attempting to strike him, he ran out of +the room and never entered it more. The mother excused and countenanced +his frowardness, and the foolish father was obliged to give way. I do +not believe he had two months' schooling in his life." + +"Perhaps," said I, "he preferred studying by himself, and at liberty. I +have known boys endowed with great curiosity and aptitude to learning, +who never could endure set tasks, and spurned at the pedagogue and his +rod." + +"I have known such likewise, but this was not one of them. I know not +whence he could derive his love of knowledge or the means of acquiring +it. The family were totally illiterate. The father was a Scotch peasant, +whose ignorance was so great that he could not sign his name. His wife, +I believe, could read, and might sometimes decipher the figures in an +almanac; but that was all. I am apt to think that the son's ability was +not much greater. You might as well look for silver platters or marble +tables in his house, as for a book or a pen. + +"I remember calling at their house one evening in the winter before +last. It was intensely cold; and my father, who rode with me, having +business with Sawny Mervyn, we stopped a minute at his gate; and, while +the two old men were engaged in conversation, I begged leave to warm +myself by the kitchen fire. Here, in the chimney-corner, seated on a +block, I found Arthur busily engaged in _knitting stockings_! I thought +this a whimsical employment for a young active man. I told him so, for I +wanted to put him to the blush; but he smiled in my face, and answered, +without the least discomposure, 'Just as whimsical a business for a +young active woman. Pray, did you never knit a stocking?' + +"'Yes; but that was from necessity. Were I of a different sex, or did I +possess the strength of a man, I should rather work in my field or study +my book.' + +"'Rejoice that you are a woman, then, and are at liberty to pursue that +which costs least labour and demands most skill. You see, though a man, +I use your privilege, and prefer knitting yarn to threshing my brain +with a book or the barn-floor with a flail.' + +"'I wonder,' said I, contemptuously, 'you do not put on the petticoat as +well as handle the needle.' + +"'Do not wonder,' he replied; 'it is because I hate a petticoat +encumbrance as much as I love warm feet. Look there,' (offering the +stocking to my inspection:) 'is it not well done?' + +"I did not touch it, but sneeringly said, 'Excellent! I wonder you do +not apprentice yourself to a tailor.' + +"He looked at me with an air of ridiculous simplicity, and said, 'How +prone the woman is to _wonder_! You call the work excellent, and yet +_wonder_ that I do not make myself a slave to improve my skill! Did you +learn needlework from seven years' squatting on a tailor's board? Had +you come to me, I would have taught you in a day.' + +"'I was taught at school.' + +"'And paid your instructor?' + +"'To-be-sure.' + +"''Twas liberty and money thrown away. Send your sister, if you have +one, to me, and I will teach her without either rod or wages. Will you?' + +"'You have an old and a violent antipathy, I believe, to any thing like +a school.' + +"'True. It was early and violent. Had not you?' + +"'No. I went to school with pleasure; for I thought to read and write +were accomplishments of some value.' + +"'Indeed? Then I misunderstood you just now. I thought you said that, +had you the strength of a man, you should prefer the plough and the book +to the needle. Whence, supposing you a female, I inferred that you had a +woman's love for the needle and a fool's hatred of books.' + +"My father calling me from without, I now made a motion to go. 'Stay,' +continued he, with great earnestness, throwing aside his +knitting-apparatus, and beginning in great haste to pull off his +stockings. 'Draw these stockings over your shoes. They will save your +feet from the snow while walking to your horse.' + +"Half angry, and half laughing, I declined the offer. He had drawn them +off, however, and, holding them in his hand, 'Be persuaded,' said he; +'only lift your feet, and I will slip them on in a trice.' + +"Finding me positive in my refusal, he dropped the stockings; and, +without more ado, caught me up in his arms, rushed out of the room, and, +running barefoot through the snow, set me fairly on my horse. All was +done in a moment, and before I had time to reflect on his intentions. He +then seized my hand, and, kissing it with great fervour, exclaimed, 'A +thousand thanks to you for not accepting my stockings. You have thereby +saved yourself and me the time and toil of drawing on and drawing off. +Since you have taught me to wonder, let me practise the lesson in +wondering at your folly, in wearing worsted shoes and silk stockings at +a season like this. Take my counsel, and turn your silk to worsted and +your worsted to leather. Then may you hope for warm feet and dry. What! +Leave the gate without a blessing on your counsellor?' + +"I spurred my horse into a gallop, glad to escape from so strange a +being. I could give you many instances of behaviour equally singular, +and which betrayed a mixture of shrewdness and folly, of kindness and +impudence, which justified, perhaps, the common notion that his +intellects were unsound. Nothing was more remarkable than his +impenetrability to ridicule and censure. You might revile him for hours, +and he would listen to you with invincible composure. To awaken anger or +shame in him was impossible. He would answer, but in such a way as to +show him totally unaware of your true meaning. He would afterwards talk +to you with all the smiling affability and freedom of an old friend. +Every one despised him for his idleness and folly, no less conspicuous +in his words than his actions; but no one feared him, and few were angry +with him, till after the detection of his commerce with _Betty_, and his +inhuman treatment of his father." + +"Have you good reasons for supposing him to have been illicitly +connected with that girl?" + +"Yes. Such as cannot be discredited. It would not be proper for me to +state these proofs. Nay, he never denied it. When reminded, on one +occasion, of the inference which every impartial person would draw from +appearances, he acknowledged, with his usual placid effrontery, that the +inference was unavoidable. He even mentioned other concurring and +contemporary incidents, which had eluded the observation of his +censurer, and which added still more force to the conclusion. He was +studious to palliate the vices of this woman, as long as he was her only +paramour; but, after her marriage with his father, the tone was changed. +He confessed that she was tidy, notable, industrious; but, then, she +was a prostitute. When charged with being instrumental in making her +such, and when his companions dwelt upon the depravity of reviling her +for vices which she owed to him, 'True,' he would say, 'there is +depravity and folly in the conduct you describe. Make me out, if you +please, to be a villain. What then? I was talking, not of myself, but of +Betty. Still this woman is a prostitute. If it were I that made her +such, with more confidence may I make the charge. But think not that I +blame Betty. Place me in her situation, and I should have acted just so. +I should have formed just such notions of my interest, and pursued it by +the same means. Still, say I, I would fain have a different woman for my +father's wife, and the mistress of his family.'" + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + + +This conversation was interrupted by a messenger from my wife, who +desired my return immediately. I had some hopes of meeting with Mervyn, +some days having now elapsed since his parting from us, and not being +conscious of any extraordinary motives for delay. It was Wortley, +however, and not Mervyn, to whom I was called. + +My friend came to share with me his suspicions and inquietudes +respecting Welbeck and Mervyn. An accident had newly happened which had +awakened these suspicions afresh. He desired a patient audience while he +explained them to me. These were his words:-- + +"To-day a person presented me a letter from a mercantile friend at +Baltimore. I easily discerned the bearer to be a sea-captain. He was a +man of sensible and pleasing aspect, and was recommended to my +friendship and counsel in the letter which he brought. The letter +stated, that a man, by name Amos Watson, by profession a mariner, and a +resident at Baltimore, had disappeared in the summer of last year, in a +mysterious and incomprehensible manner. He was known to have arrived in +this city from Jamaica, and to have intended an immediate journey to his +family, who lived at Baltimore; but he never arrived there, and no trace +of his existence has since been discovered. The bearer had come to +investigate, if possible, the secret of his fate, and I was earnestly +entreated to afford him all the assistance and advice in my power, in +the prosecution of his search. I expressed my willingness to serve the +stranger, whose name was Williams; and, after offering him entertainment +at my house, which was thankfully accepted, he proceeded to unfold to +me the particulars of this affair. His story was this. + +"'On the 20th of last June, I arrived,' said he, 'from the West Indies, +in company with Captain Watson. I commanded the ship in which he came as +a passenger, his own ship being taken and confiscated by the English. We +had long lived in habits of strict friendship, and I loved him for his +own sake, as well as because he had married my sister. We landed in the +morning, and went to dine with Mr. Keysler, since dead, but who then +lived in Water Street. He was extremely anxious to visit his family, +and, having a few commissions to perform in the city, which would not +demand more than a couple of hours, he determined to set out next +morning in the stage. Meanwhile, I had engagements which required me to +repair with the utmost expedition to New York. I was scarcely less +anxious than my brother to reach Baltimore, where my friends also +reside; but there was an absolute necessity of going eastward. I +expected, however, to return hither in three days, and then to follow +Watson home. Shortly after dinner we parted; he to execute his +commissions, and I to embark in the mail-stage. + +"'In the time prefixed I returned. I arrived early in the morning, and +prepared to depart again at noon. Meanwhile, I called at Keysler's. This +is an old acquaintance of Watson's and mine; and, in the course of talk, +he expressed some surprise that Watson had so precipitately deserted his +house. I stated the necessity there was for Watson's immediate departure +_southward_, and added, that no doubt my brother had explained this +necessity. + +"'Why, (said Keysler,) it is true, Captain Watson mentioned his +intention of leaving town early next day; but then he gave me reason to +expect that he would sup and lodge with me that night, whereas he has +not made his appearance since. Besides, his trunk was brought to my +house. This, no doubt, he intended to carry home with him, but here it +remains still. It is not likely that in the hurry of departure his +baggage was forgotten. Hence, I inferred that he was still in town, and +have been puzzling myself these three days with conjectures as to what +is become of him. What surprises me more is, that, on inquiring among +the few friends which he has in this city, I find them as ignorant of +his motions as myself. I have not, indeed, been wholly without +apprehensions that some accident or other has befallen him.' + +"'I was not a little alarmed by this intimation. I went myself, +agreeably to Keysler's directions, to Watson's friends, and made anxious +inquiries, but none of them had seen my brother since his arrival. I +endeavoured to recollect the commissions which he designed to execute, +and, if possible, to trace him to the spot where he last appeared. He +had several packets to deliver, one of which was addressed to Walter +Thetford. Him, after some inquiry, I found out, but unluckily he chanced +to be in the country. I found, by questioning a clerk, who transacted +his business in his absence, that a person, who answered the minute +description which I gave of Watson, had been there on the day on which I +parted with him, and had left papers relative to the capture of one of +Thetford's vessels by the English. This was the sum of the information +he was able to afford me. + +"'I then applied to three merchants for whom my brother had letters. +They all acknowledged the receipt of these letters, but they were +delivered through the medium of the post-office. + +"'I was extremely anxious to reach home. Urgent engagements compelled me +to go on without delay. I had already exhausted all the means of inquiry +within my reach, and was obliged to acquiesce in the belief that Watson +had proceeded homeward at the time appointed, and left, by forgetfulness +or accident, his trunk behind him. On examining the books kept at the +stage-offices, his name nowhere appeared, and no conveyance by water had +occurred during the last week. Still, the only conjecture I could form +was that he had gone homeward. + +"'Arriving at Baltimore, I found that Watson had not yet made his +appearance. His wife produced a letter, which, by the postmark, appeared +to have been put into the office at Philadelphia, on the morning after +our arrival, and on which he had designed to commence his journey. This +letter had been written by my brother, in my presence, but I had +dissuaded him from sending it, since the same coach that should bear the +letter was likewise to carry himself. I had seen him put it unwafered in +his pocket-book, but this letter, unaltered in any part, and containing +money which he had at first intended to enclose in it, was now conveyed +to his wife's hand. In this letter he mentioned his design of setting +out for Baltimore on the _twenty-first_, yet on that day the letter +itself had been put into the office. + +"'We hoped that a short time would clear up this mystery, and bring the +fugitive home; but, from that day till the present, no atom of +intelligence has been received concerning him. The yellow fever, which +quickly followed, in this city, and my own engagements, have hindered +me, till now, from coming hither and resuming the search. + +"'My brother was one of the most excellent of men. His wife loved him to +distraction, and, together with his children, depended for subsistence +upon his efforts. You will not, therefore, be surprised that his +disappearance excited, in us, the deepest consternation and distress; +but I have other and peculiar reasons for wishing to know his fate. I +gave him several bills of exchange on merchants of Baltimore, which I +had received in payment of my cargo, in order that they might, as soon +as possible, be presented and accepted. These have disappeared with the +bearer. There is likewise another circumstance that makes his existence +of no small value. + +"'There is an English family, who formerly resided in Jamaica, and +possessed an estate of great value, but who, for some years, have lived +in the neighbourhood of Baltimore. The head of this family died a year +ago, and left a widow and three daughters. The lady thought it eligible +to sell her husband's property in Jamaica, the island becoming hourly +more exposed to the chances of war and revolution, and transfer it to +the United States, where she purposes henceforth to reside. Watson had +been her husband's friend, and, his probity and disinterestedness being +well known, she intrusted him with legal powers to sell this estate. +This commission was punctually performed, and the purchase-money was +received. In order to confer on it the utmost possible security, he +rolled up four bills of exchange, drawn upon opulent, merchants of +London, in a thin sheet of lead, and, depositing this roll in a leathern +girdle, fastened it round his waist, and under his clothes; a second set +he gave to me, and a third he despatched to Mr. Keysler, by a vessel +which sailed a few days before him. On our arrival in this city, we +found that Keysler had received those transmitted to him, and which he +had been charged to keep till our arrival. They were now produced, and, +together with those which I had carried, were delivered to Watson. By +him they were joined to those in the girdle, which he still wore, +conceiving this method of conveyance to be safer than any other, and, at +the same time, imagining it needless, in so short a journey as remained +to be performed, to resort to other expedients. + +"'The sum which he thus bore about him was no less than ten thousand +pounds sterling. It constituted the whole patrimony of a worthy and +excellent family, and the loss of it reduces them to beggary. It is gone +with Watson, and whither Watson has gone it is impossible even to guess. + +"'You may now easily conceive, sir, the dreadful disasters which may be +connected with this man's fate, and with what immeasurable anxiety his +family and friends have regarded his disappearance. That he is alive can +scarcely be believed; for in what situation could he be placed in which +he would not be able and willing to communicate some tidings of his fate +to his family? + +"'Our grief has been unspeakably aggravated by the suspicions which Mrs. +Maurice and her friends have allowed themselves to admit. They do not +scruple to insinuate that Watson, tempted by so great a prize, has +secretly embarked for England, in order to obtain payment for these +bills and retain the money for his own use. + +"'No man was more impatient of poverty than Watson, but no man's honesty +was more inflexible. He murmured at the destiny that compelled him to +sacrifice his ease, and risk his life upon the ocean in order to +procure the means of subsistence; and all the property which he had +spent the best part of his life in collecting had just been ravished +away from him by the English; but, if he had yielded to this temptation +at any time, it would have been on receiving these bills at Jamaica. +Instead of coming hither, it would have been infinitely more easy and +convenient to have embarked directly for London; but none who thoroughly +knew him can, for a moment, harbour a suspicion of his truth. + +"'If he be dead, and if the bills are not to be recovered, yet to +ascertain this will, at least, serve to vindicate his character. As long +as his fate is unknown, his fame will be loaded with the most flagrant +imputations, and, if these bills be ever paid in London, these +imputations will appear to be justified. If he has been robbed, the +robber will make haste to secure the payment, and the Maurices may not +unreasonably conclude that the robber was Watson himself.' Many other +particulars were added by the stranger, to show the extent of the evils +flowing from the death of his brother, and the loss of the papers which +he carried with him. + +"I was greatly at a loss," continued Wortley, "what directions or advice +to afford this man. Keysler, as you know, died early of the pestilence; +but Keysler was the only resident in this city with whom Williams had +any acquaintance. On mentioning the propriety of preventing the sale of +these bills in America, by some public notice, he told me that this +caution had been early taken; and I now remembered seeing the +advertisement, in which the bills had been represented as having been +lost or stolen in this city, and a reward of a thousand dollars was +offered to any one who should restore them. This caution had been +published in September, in all the trading-towns from Portsmouth to +Savannah, but had produced no satisfaction. + +"I accompanied Williams to the mayor's office, in hopes of finding in +the records of his proceedings, during the last six months, some traces +of Watson; but neither these records nor the memory of the magistrate +afforded us any satisfaction. Watson's friends had drawn up, likewise, +a description of the person and dress of the fugitive, an account of the +incidents attending his disappearance, and of the papers which he had in +his possession, with the manner in which these papers had been secured. +These had been already published in the Southern newspapers, and have +been just reprinted in our own. As the former notice had availed +nothing, this second expedient was thought necessary to be employed. + +"After some reflection, it occurred to me that it might be proper to +renew the attempt which Williams had made to trace the footsteps of his +friend to the moment of his final disappearance. He had pursued Watson +to Thetford's; but Thetford himself had not been seen, and he had been +contented with the vague information of his clerk. Thetford and his +family, including his clerk, had perished, and it seemed as if this +source of information was dried up. It was possible, however, that old +Thetford might have some knowledge of his nephew's transactions, by +which some light might chance to be thrown upon this obscurity. I +therefore called on him, but found him utterly unable to afford me the +light that I wished. My mention of the packet which Watson had brought +to Thetford, containing documents respecting the capture of a certain +ship, reminded him of the injuries which he had received from Welbeck, +and excited him to renew his menaces and imputations on that wretch. +Having somewhat exhausted this rhetoric, he proceeded to tell me what +connection there was between the remembrance of his injuries and the +capture of this vessel. + +"This vessel and its cargo were, in fact, the property of Welbeck. They +had been sent to a good market, and had been secured by an adequate +insurance. The value of this ship and cargo, and the validity of the +policy, he had taken care to ascertain by means of his two nephews, one +of whom had gone out supercargo. This had formed his inducement to lend +his three notes to Welbeck, in exchange for three other notes, the whole +amount of which included the _equitable interest_ of _five per cent. per +month_ on his own loan. For the payment of these notes he by no means +relied, as the world foolishly imagined, on the seeming opulence and +secret funds of Welbeck. These were illusions too gross to have any +influence on him. He was too old a bird to be decoyed into the net by +_such_ chaff. No; his nephew, the supercargo, would of course receive +the produce of the voyage, and so much of this produce as would pay his +debt he had procured the owner's authority to intercept its passage from +the pocket of his nephew to that of Welbeck. In case of loss, he had +obtained a similar security upon the policy. Jamieson's proceedings had +been the same with his own, and no affair in which he had ever engaged +had appeared to be more free from hazard than this. Their calculations, +however, though plausible, were defeated. The ship was taken and +condemned, for a cause which rendered the insurance ineffectual. + +"I bestowed no time in reflecting on this tissue of extortions and +frauds, and on that course of events which so often disconcerts the +stratagems of cunning. The names of Welbeck and Watson were thus +associated together, and filled my thoughts with restlessness and +suspicion. Welbeck was capable of any weakness. It was possible an +interview had happened between these men, and that the fugitive had been +someway instrumental in Watson's fate. These thoughts were mentioned to +Williams, whom the name of Welbeck threw into the utmost perturbation. +On finding that one of this name had dwelt in this city, and that he had +proved a villain, he instantly admitted the most dreary forebodings. + +"'I have heard,' said Williams, 'the history of this Welbeck a score of +times from my brother. There formerly subsisted a very intimate +connection between them. My brother had conferred, upon one whom he +thought honest, innumerable benefits; but all his benefits had been +repaid by the blackest treachery. Welbeck's character and guilt had +often been made the subject of talk between us, but, on these occasions, +my brother's placid and patient temper forsook him. His grief for the +calamities which had sprung from this man, and his desire of revenge, +burst all bounds, and transported him to a pitch of temporary frenzy. I +often inquired in what manner he intended to act if a meeting should +take place between them. He answered, that doubtless he should act like +a maniac, in defiance of his sober principles, and of the duty which he +owed his family. + +"'What! (said I,) would you stab or pistol him? + +"'No. I was not born for an assassin. I would upbraid him in such terms +as the furious moment might suggest, and then challenge him to a +meeting, from which either he or I should not part with life. I would +allow time for him to make his peace with Heaven, and for me to blast +his reputation upon earth, and to make such provision for my possible +death as duty and discretion would prescribe. + +"'Now, nothing is more probable than that Welbeck and my brother have +met. Thetford would of course mention his name and interest in the +captured ship, and hence the residence of this detested being in this +city would be made known. Their meeting could not take place without +some dreadful consequence. I am fearful that to that meeting we must +impute the disappearance of my brother.' + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII. + + +"Here was new light thrown upon the character of Welbeck, and new food +administered to my suspicions. No conclusion could be more plausible +than that which Williams had drawn; but how should it be rendered +certain? Walter Thetford, or some of his family, had possibly been +witnesses of something, which, added to our previous knowledge, might +strengthen or prolong that clue, one end of which seemed now to be put +into our hands; but Thetford's father-in-law was the only one of his +family, who, by seasonable flight from the city, had escaped the +pestilence. To him, who still resided in the country, I repaired with +all speed, accompanied by Williams. + +"The old man, being reminded, by a variety of circumstances, of the +incidents of that eventful period, was, at length, enabled to relate +that he had been present at the meeting which took place between Watson +and his son Walter, when certain packets were delivered by the former, +relative, as he quickly understood, to the condemnation of a ship in +which Thomas Thetford had gone supercargo. He had noticed some emotion +of the stranger, occasioned by his son's mentioning the concern which +Welbeck had in the vessel. He likewise remembered the stranger's +declaring his intention of visiting Welbeck, and requesting Walter to +afford him directions to his house. + +"'Next morning at the breakfast-table,' continued the old man, 'I +adverted to yesterday's incidents, and asked my son how Welbeck had +borne the news of the loss of his ship. "He bore it," said Walter, "as a +man of his wealth ought to bear so trivial a loss. But there was +something very strange in his behaviour," says my son, "when I mentioned +the name of the captain who brought the papers; and, when I mentioned +the captain's design of paying him a visit, he stared upon me, for a +moment, as if he were frighted out of his wits, and then, snatching up +his hat, ran furiously out of the house." This was all my son said upon +that occasion; but, as I have since heard, it was on that very night +that Welbeck absconded from his creditors.' + +"I have this moment returned from this interview with old Thetford. I +come to you, because I thought it possible that Mervyn, agreeably to +your expectations, had returned, and I wanted to see the lad once more. +My suspicions with regard to him have been confirmed, and a warrant was +this day issued for apprehending him as Welbeck's accomplice." + +I was startled by this news. "My friend," said I, "be cautious how you +act, I beseech you. You know not in what evils you may involve the +innocent. Mervyn I know to be blameless; but Welbeck is indeed a +villain. The latter I shall not be sorry to see brought to justice; but +the former, instead of meriting punishment, is entitled to rewards." + +"So you believe, on the mere assertion of the boy, perhaps, his +plausible lies might produce the same effect upon me; but I must stay +till he thinks proper to exert his skill. The suspicions to which he is +exposed will not easily be obviated; but, if he has any thing to say in +his defence, his judicial examination will afford him the suitable +opportunity. Why are you so much afraid to subject his innocence to this +test? It was not till you heard his tale that your own suspicions were +removed. Allow me the same privilege of unbelief. + +"But you do me wrong, in deeming me the cause of his apprehension. It is +Jamieson and Thetford's work, and they have not proceeded on shadowy +surmises and the impulses of mere revenge. Facts have come to light of +which you are wholly unaware, and which, when known to you, will conquer +even your incredulity as to the guilt of Mervyn." + +"Facts? Let me know them, I beseech you. If Mervyn has deceived me, +there is an end to my confidence in human nature. All limits to +dissimulation, and all distinctness between vice and virtue, will be +effaced. No man's word, nor force of collateral evidence, shall weigh +with me a hair." + +"It was time," replied my friend, "that your confidence in smooth +features and fluent accents should have ended long ago. Till I gained +from my present profession some knowledge of the world, a knowledge +which was not gained in a moment, and has not cost a trifle, I was +equally wise in my own conceit; and, in order to decide upon the truth +of any one's pretensions, needed only a clear view of his face and a +distinct hearing of his words. My folly, in that respect, was only to be +cured, however, by my own experience, and I suppose your credulity will +yield to no other remedy. These are the facts:-- + +"Mrs. Wentworth, the proprietor of the house in which Welbeck lived, has +furnished some intelligence respecting Mervyn, whose truth cannot be +doubted, and which furnishes the strongest evidence of a conspiracy +between this lad and his employer. It seems that, some years since, a +nephew of this lady left his father's family clandestinely, and has not +been heard of since. This nephew was intended to inherit her fortunes, +and her anxieties and inquiries respecting him have been endless and +incessant. These, however, have been fruitless. Welbeck, knowing these +circumstances, and being desirous of substituting a girl whom he had +moulded for his purpose, in place of the lost youth, in the affections +of the lady while living, and in her testament when dead, endeavoured to +persuade her that the youth had died in some foreign country. For this +end, Mervyn was to personate a kinsman of Welbeck who had just arrived +from Europe, and who had been a witness of her nephew's death. A story +was, no doubt, to be contrived, where truth should be copied with the +most exquisite dexterity; and, the lady being prevailed upon to believe +the story, the way was cleared for accomplishing the remainder of the +plot. + +"In due time, and after the lady's mind had been artfully prepared by +Welbeck, the pupil made his appearance; and, in a conversation full of +studied ambiguities, assured the lady that her nephew was dead. For the +present he declined relating the particulars of his death, and displayed +a constancy and intrepidity in resisting her entreaties that would have +been admirable in a better cause. Before she had time to fathom this +painful mystery, Welbeck's frauds were in danger of detection, and he +and his pupil suddenly disappeared. + +"While the plot was going forward, there occurred an incident which the +plotters had not foreseen or precluded, and which possibly might have +created some confusion or impediment in their designs. A bundle was +found one night in the street, consisting of some coarse clothes, and +containing, in the midst of it, the miniature portrait of Mrs. +Wentworth's nephew. It fell into the hands of one of that lady's +friends, who immediately despatched the bundle to her. Mervyn, in his +interview with this lady, spied the portrait on the mantel-piece. Led by +some freak of fancy, or some web of artifice, he introduced the talk +respecting her nephew, by boldly claiming it as his; but, when the mode +in which it had been found was mentioned, he was disconcerted and +confounded, and precipitately withdrew. + +"This conduct, and the subsequent flight of the lad, afforded ground +enough to question the truth of his intelligence respecting her nephew; +but it has since been confuted, in a letter just received from her +brother in England. In this letter, she is informed that her nephew had +been seen by one who knew him well, in Charleston; that some intercourse +took place between the youth and the bearer of the news, in the course +of which the latter had persuaded the nephew to return to his family, +and that the youth had given some tokens of compliance. The +letter-writer, who was father to the fugitive, had written to certain +friends at Charleston, entreating them to use their influence with the +runaway to the same end, and, at any rate, to cherish and protect him. +Thus, I hope you will admit that the duplicity of Mervyn is +demonstrated." + +"The facts which you have mentioned," said I, after some pause, "partly +correspond with Mervyn's story; but the last particular is +irreconcilably repugnant to it. Now, for the first time, I begin to feel +that my confidence is shaken. I feel my mind bewildered and distracted +by the multitude of new discoveries which have just taken place. I want +time to revolve them slowly, to weigh them accurately, and to estimate +their consequences fully. I am afraid to speak; fearing that, in the +present trouble of my thoughts, I may say something which I may +afterwards regret, I want a counsellor; but you, Wortley, are unfit for +the office. Your judgment is unfurnished with the same materials; your +sufferings have soured your humanity and biassed your candour. The only +one qualified to divide with me these cares, and aid in selecting the +best mode of action, is my wife. She is mistress of Mervyn's history; an +observer of his conduct during his abode with us; and is hindered, by +her education and temper, from deviating into rigour and malevolence. +Will you pardon me, therefore, if I defer commenting on your narrative +till I have had an opportunity of reviewing it and comparing it with my +knowledge of the lad, collected from himself and from my own +observation?" + +Wortley could not but admit the justice of my request, and, after some +desultory conversation, we parted. I hastened to communicate to my wife +the various intelligence which I had lately received. Mrs. Althorpe's +portrait of the Mervyns contained lineaments which the summary detail of +Arthur did not enable us fully to comprehend. The treatment which the +youth is said to have given to his father; the illicit commerce that +subsisted between him and his father's wife; the pillage of money and +his father's horse, but ill accorded with the tale which we had heard, +and disquieted our minds with doubts, though far from dictating our +belief. + +What, however, more deeply absorbed our attention, was the testimony of +Williams and of Mrs. Wentworth. That which was mysterious and +inscrutable to Wortley and the friends of Watson was luminous to us. The +coincidence between the vague hints laboriously collected by these +inquirers, and the narrative of Mervyn, afforded the most cogent +attestation of the truth of that narrative. + +Watson had vanished from all eyes, but the spot where rested his remains +was known to us. The girdle spoken of by Williams would not be suspected +to exist by his murderer. It was unmolested, and was doubtless buried +with him. That which was so earnestly sought, and which constituted the +subsistence of the Maurices, would probably be found adhering to his +body. What conduct was incumbent upon me who possessed this knowledge? + +It was just to restore these bills to their true owner; but how could +this be done without hazardous processes and tedious disclosures? To +whom ought these disclosures to be made? By what authority or agency +could these half-decayed limbs be dug up, and the lost treasure be taken +from amidst the horrible corruption in which it was immersed? + +This ought not to be the act of a single individual. This act would +entangle him in a maze of perils and suspicions, of concealments and +evasions, from which he could not hope to escape with his reputation +inviolate. The proper method was through the agency of the law. It is to +this that Mervyn must submit his conduct. The story which he told to me +he must tell to the world. Suspicions have fixed themselves upon him, +which allow him not the privilege of silence and obscurity. While he +continued unknown and unthought of, the publication of his story would +only give unnecessary birth to dangers; but now dangers are incurred +which it may probably contribute to lessen, if not to remove. + +Meanwhile the return of Mervyn to the city was anxiously expected. Day +after day passed, and no tidings were received. I had business of an +urgent nature which required my presence in Jersey, but which, in the +daily expectation of the return of my young friend, I postponed a week +longer than rigid discretion allowed. At length I was obliged to comply +with the exigence, and left the city, but made such arrangements that I +should be apprized by my wife of Mervyn's return with all practicable +expedition. + +These arrangements were superfluous, for my business was despatched, and +my absence at an end, before the youth had given us any tokens of his +approach. I now remembered the warnings of Wortley, and his assertions +that Mervyn had withdrawn himself forever from our view. The event had +hitherto unwelcomely coincided with these predictions, and a thousand +doubts and misgivings were awakened. + +One evening, while preparing to shake off gloomy thoughts by a visit to +a friend, some one knocked at my door, and left a billet containing +these words:-- + +"_Dr. Stevens is requested to come immediately to the Debtors' +Apartments in Prune Street._" + +This billet was without signature. The handwriting was unknown, and the +precipitate departure of the bearer left me wholly at a loss with +respect to the person of the writer, or the end for which my presence +was required. This uncertainty only hastened my compliance with the +summons. + +The evening was approaching,--a time when the prison-doors are +accustomed to be shut and strangers to be excluded. This furnished an +additional reason for despatch. As I walked swiftly along, I revolved +the possible motives that might have prompted this message. A conjecture +was soon formed, which led to apprehension and inquietude. + +One of my friends, by name Carlton, was embarrassed with debts which he +was unable to discharge. He had lately been menaced with arrest by a +creditor not accustomed to remit any of his claims. I dreaded that this +catastrophe had now happened, and called to mind the anguish with which +this untoward incident would overwhelm his family. I knew his incapacity +to take away the claim of his creditor by payment, or to soothe him into +clemency by supplication. + +So prone is the human mind to create for itself distress, that I was not +aware of the uncertainty of this evil till I arrived at the prison. I +checked myself at the moment when I opened my lips to utter the name of +my friend, and was admitted without particular inquiries. I supposed +that he by whom I had been summoned hither would meet me in the common +room. + +The apartment was filled with pale faces and withered forms. The marks +of negligence and poverty were visible in all; but few betrayed, in +their features or gestures, any symptoms of concern on account of their +condition. Ferocious gayety, or stupid indifference, seemed to sit upon +every brow. The vapour from a heated stove, mingled with the fumes of +beer and tallow that were spilled upon it, and with the tainted breath +of so promiscuous a crowd, loaded the stagnant atmosphere. At my first +transition from the cold and pure air without, to this noxious element, +I found it difficult to breathe. A moment, however, reconciled me to my +situation, and I looked anxiously round to discover some face which I +knew. + +Almost every mouth was furnished with a cigar, and every hand with a +glass of porter. Conversation, carried on with much emphasis of tone and +gesture, was not wanting. Sundry groups, in different corners, were +beguiling the tedious hours at whist. Others, unemployed, were strolling +to and fro, and testified their vacancy of thought and care by humming +or whistling a tune. + +I fostered the hope that my prognostics had deceived me. This hope was +strengthened by reflecting that the billet received was written in a +different hand from that of my friend. Meanwhile I continued my search. +Seated on a bench, silent and aloof from the crowd, his eyes fixed upon +the floor, and his face half concealed by his hand, a form was at length +discovered which verified all my conjectures and fears. Carlton was he. + +My heart drooped and my tongue faltered at this sight. I surveyed him +for some minutes in silence. At length, approaching the bench on which +he sat, I touched his hand and awakened him from his reverie. He looked +up. A momentary gleam of joy and surprise was succeeded by a gloom +deeper than before. + +It was plain that my friend needed consolation. He was governed by an +exquisite sensibility to disgrace. He was impatient of constraint. He +shrunk, with fastidious abhorrence, from the contact of the vulgar and +the profligate. His constitution was delicate and feeble. Impure airs, +restraint from exercise, unusual aliment, unwholesome or incommodious +accommodations, and perturbed thoughts, were, at any time, sufficient to +generate disease and to deprive him of life. + +To these evils he was now subjected. He had no money wherewith to +purchase food. He had been dragged hither in the morning. He had not +tasted a morsel since his entrance. He had not provided a bed on which +to lie; or inquired in what room, or with what companions, the night was +to be spent. + +Fortitude was not among my friend's qualities. He was more prone to +shrink from danger than encounter it, and to yield to the flood rather +than sustain it; but it is just to observe that his anguish, on the +present occasion, arose not wholly from selfish considerations. His +parents were dead, and two sisters were dependent on him for support. +One of these was nearly of his own age. The other was scarcely emerged +from childhood. There was an intellectual as well as a personal +resemblance between my friend and his sisters. They possessed his +physical infirmities, his vehement passions, and refinements of taste; +and the misery of his condition was tenfold increased, by reflecting on +the feelings which would be awakened in them by the knowledge of his +state, and the hardships to which the loss of his succour would expose +them. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + + +It was not in my power to release my friend by the payment of his debt; +but, by contracting with the keeper of the prison for his board, I could +save him from famine; and, by suitable exertions, could procure him +lodging as convenient as the time would admit. I could promise to +console and protect his sisters, and, by cheerful tones and frequent +visits, dispel some part of the evil which encompassed him. + +After the first surprise had subsided, he inquired by what accident this +meeting had been produced. Conscious of my incapacity to do him any +essential service, and unwilling to make me a partaker in his miseries, +he had forborne to inform me of his condition. + +This assurance was listened to with some wonder. I showed him the +billet. It had not been written by him. He was a stranger to the +penmanship. None but the attorney and officer were apprized of his fate. +It was obvious to conclude, that this was the interposition of some +friend, who, knowing my affection for Carlton, had taken this mysterious +method of calling me to his succour. + +Conjectures as to the author and motives of this inter position were +suspended by more urgent considerations. I requested an interview with +the keeper, and inquired how Carlton could be best accommodated. + +He said that all his rooms were full but one, which, in consequence of +the dismission of three persons in the morning, had at present but one +tenant. This person had lately arrived, was sick, and had with him, at +this time, one of his friends. Carlton might divide the chamber with +this person. No doubt his consent would be readily given; though this +arrangement, being the best, must take place whether he consented or +not. + +This consent I resolved immediately to seek, and, for that purpose, +desired to be led to the chamber. The door of the apartment was shut. I +knocked for admission. It was instantly opened, and I entered. The first +person who met my view was--Arthur Mervyn. + +I started with astonishment. Mervyn's countenance betrayed nothing but +satisfaction at the interview. The traces of fatigue and anxiety gave +place to tenderness and joy. It readily occurred to me that Mervyn was +the writer of the note which I had lately received. To meet him within +these walls, and at this time, was the most remote and undesirable of +all contingencies. The same hour had thus made me acquainted with the +kindred and unwelcome fate of two beings whom I most loved. + +I had scarcely time to return his embrace, when, taking my hand, he led +me to a bed that stood in one corner. There was stretched upon it one +whom a second glance enabled me to call by his name, though I had never +before seen him. The vivid portrait which Mervyn had drawn was +conspicuous in the sunken and haggard visage before me. This face had, +indeed, proportions and lines which could never be forgotten or +mistaken. Welbeck, when once seen or described, was easily distinguished +from the rest of mankind. He had stronger motives than other men for +abstaining from guilt, the difficulty of concealment or disguise being +tenfold greater in him than in others, by reason of the indelible and +eye-attracting marks which nature had set upon him. + +He was pallid and emaciated. He did not open his eyes on my entrance. He +seemed to be asleep; but, before I had time to exchange glances with +Mervyn, or to inquire into the nature of the scene, he awoke. On seeing +me he started, and cast a look of upbraiding on my companion. The latter +comprehended his emotion, and endeavoured to appease him. + +"This person," said he, "is my friend. He is likewise a physician; and, +perceiving your state to require medical assistance, I ventured to send +for him." + +Welbeck replied, in a contemptuous and indignant tone, "Thou mistakest +my condition, boy. My disease lies deeper than his scrutiny will ever +reach. I had hoped thou wert gone. Thy importunities are well meant, but +they aggravate my miseries." + +He now rose from the bed, and continued, in a firm and resolute tone, +"You are intruders into this apartment. It is mine, and I desire to be +left alone." + +Mervyn returned, at first, no answer to this address. He was immersed in +perplexity. At length, raising his eyes from the floor, he said, "My +intentions are indeed honest, and I am grieved that I want the power of +persuasion. To-morrow, perhaps, I may reason more cogently with your +despair, or your present mood may be changed. To aid my own weakness I +will entreat the assistance of this friend." + +These words roused a new spirit in Welbeck. His confusion and anger +increased. His tongue faltered as he exclaimed, "Good God! what mean +you? Headlong and rash as you are, you will not share with this person +your knowledge of me?" Here he checked himself, conscious that the words +he had already uttered tended to the very end which he dreaded. This +consciousness, added to the terror of more ample disclosures, which the +simplicity and rectitude of Mervyn might prompt him to make, chained up +his tongue, and covered him with dismay. + +Mervyn was not long in answering:--"I comprehend your fears and your +wishes. I am bound to tell you the truth. To this person your story has +already been told. Whatever I have witnessed under your roof, whatever I +have heard from your lips, have been faithfully disclosed to him." + +The countenance of Welbeck now betrayed a mixture of incredulity and +horror. For a time his utterance was stifled by his complicated +feelings:-- + +"It cannot be. So enormous a deed is beyond thy power. Thy qualities are +marvellous. Every new act of thine outstrips the last, and belies the +newest calculations. But this--this perfidy exceeds--this outrage upon +promises, this violation of faith, this blindness to the future, is +incredible." There he stopped; while his looks seemed to call upon +Mervyn for a contradiction of his first assertion. + +"I know full well how inexpiably stupid or wicked my act will appear to +you, but I will not prevaricate or lie. I repeat, that every thing is +known to him. Your birth; your early fortunes; the incidents at +Charleston and Wilmington; your treatment of the brother and sister; +your interview with Watson, and the fatal issue of that interview--I +have told him all, just as it was told to me." + +Here the shock that was felt by Welbeck overpowered his caution and his +strength. He sunk upon the side of the bed. His air was still +incredulous, and he continued to gaze upon Mervyn. He spoke in a tone +less vehement:-- + +"And hast thou then betrayed me? Hast thou shut every avenue to my +return to honour? Am I known to be a seducer and assassin? To have +meditated all crimes, and to have perpetrated the worst? + +"Infamy and death are my portion. I know they are reserved for me; but I +did not think to receive them at thy hands, that under that innocent +guise there lurked a heart treacherous and cruel. But go; leave me to +myself. This stroke has exterminated my remnant of hope. Leave me to +prepare my neck for the halter, and my lips for this last and bitterest +cup." + +Mervyn struggled with his tears, and replied, "All this was foreseen, +and all this I was prepared to endure. My friend and I will withdraw, as +you wish; but to-morrow I return; not to vindicate my faith or my +humanity; not to make you recant your charges, or forgive the faults +which I seem to have committed, but to extricate you from your present +evil, or to arm you with fortitude." + +So saying, he led the way out of the room. I followed him in silence. +The strangeness and abruptness of this scene left me no power to assume +a part in it. I looked on with new and indescribable sensations. I +reached the street before my recollection was perfectly recovered. I +then reflected on the purpose that had led me to Welbeck's chamber. This +purpose was yet unaccomplished. I desired Mervyn to linger a moment +while I returned into the house. I once more inquired for the keeper, +and told him I should leave to him the province of acquainting Welbeck +with the necessity of sharing his apartment with a stranger. I speedily +rejoined Mervyn in the street. + +I lost no time in requiring an explanation of the scene that I had +witnessed. "How became you once more the companion of Welbeck? Why did +you not inform me by letter of your arrival at Malverton, and of what +occurred during your absence? What is the fate of Mr. Hadwin and of +Wallace?" + +"Alas!" said he, "I perceive that, though I have written, you have never +received my letters. The tale of what has occurred since we parted is +long and various. I am not only willing but eager to communicate the +story; but this is no suitable place. Have patience till we reach your +house. I have involved myself in perils and embarrassments from which I +depend upon your counsel and aid to release me." + +I had scarcely reached my own door, when I was overtaken by a servant, +whom I knew to belong to the family in which Carlton and his sisters +resided. Her message, therefore, was readily guessed. She came, as I +expected, to inquire for my friend, who had left his home in the morning +with a stranger, and had not yet returned. His absence had occasioned +some inquietude, and his sister had sent this message to me, to procure +what information respecting the cause of his detention I was able to +give. + +My perplexity hindered me, for some time, from answering. I was willing +to communicate the painful truth with my own mouth. I saw the necessity +of putting an end to her suspense, and of preventing the news from +reaching her with fallacious aggravations or at an unseasonable time. + +I told the messenger that I had just parted with Mr. Carlton, that he +was well, and that I would speedily come and acquaint his sister with +the cause of his absence. + +Though burning with curiosity respecting Mervyn and Welbeck, I readily +postponed its gratification till my visit to Miss Carlton was performed. +I had rarely seen this lady; my friendship for her brother, though +ardent, having been lately formed, and chiefly matured by interviews at +my house. I had designed to introduce her to my wife, but various +accidents had hindered the execution of my purpose. Now consolation and +counsel were more needed than ever, and delay or reluctance in bestowing +it would have been, in a high degree, unpardonable. + +I therefore parted with Mervyn, requesting him to await my return, and +promising to perform the engagement which compelled me to leave him, +with the utmost despatch. On entering Miss Carlton's apartment, I +assumed an air of as much tranquillity as possible. I found the lady +seated at a desk, with pen in hand and parchment before her. She greeted +me with affectionate dignity, and caught from my countenance that +cheerfulness of which on my entrance she was destitute. + +"You come," said she, "to inform me what has made my brother a truant +to-day. Till your message was received I was somewhat anxious. This day +he usually spends in rambling through the fields; but so bleak and +stormy an atmosphere, I suppose, would prevent his excursion. I pray, +sir, what is it detains him?" + +To conquer my embarrassment, and introduce the subject by indirect and +cautious means, I eluded her question, and, casting an eye at the +parchment,--"How now?" said I; "this is strange employment for a lady. I +knew that my friend pursued this trade, and lived by binding fast the +bargains which others made; but I knew not that the pen was ever usurped +by his sister." + +"The usurpation was prompted by necessity. My brother's impatient temper +and delicate frame unfitted him for the trade. He pursued it with no +less reluctance than diligence, devoting to the task three nights in the +week, and the whole of each day. It would long ago have killed him, had +I not bethought myself of sharing his tasks. The pen was irksome and +toilsome at first, but use has made it easy, and far more eligible than +the needle, which was formerly my only tool. + +"This arrangement affords my brother opportunities of exercise and +recreation, without diminishing our profits; and my time, though not +less constantly, is more agreeably, as well as more lucratively, +employed than formerly." + +"I admire your reasoning. By this means provision is made against +untoward accidents. If sickness should disable him, you are qualified to +pursue the same means of support." + +At these words the lady's countenance changed. She put her hand on my +arm, and said, in a fluttering and hurried accent, "Is my brother sick?" + +"No. He is in perfect health. My observation was a harmless one. I am +sorry to observe your readiness to draw alarming inferences. If I were +to say that your scheme is useful to supply deficiencies, not only when +your brother is disabled by sickness, but when thrown, by some inhuman +creditor, into jail, no doubt you would perversely and hastily infer +that he is now in prison." + +I had scarcely ended the sentence, when the piercing eyes of the lady +were anxiously fixed upon mine. After a moment's pause, she exclaimed, +"The inference, indeed, is too plain. I know his fate. It has long been +foreseen and expected, and I have summoned up my equanimity to meet it. +Would to Heaven he may find the calamity as light as I should find it! +but I fear his too irritable spirit." + +When her fears were confirmed, she started out into no vehemence of +exclamation. She quickly suppressed a few tears which would not be +withheld, and listened to my narrative of what had lately occurred, with +tokens of gratitude. + +Formal consolation was superfluous. Her mind was indeed more fertile +than my own in those topics which take away its keenest edge from +affliction. She observed that it was far from being the heaviest +calamity which might have happened. The creditor was perhaps vincible by +arguments and supplications. If these should succeed, the disaster would +not only be removed, but that security from future molestation be +gained, to which they had for a long time been strangers. + +Should he be obdurate, their state was far from being hopeless. +Carlton's situation allowed him to pursue his profession. His gains +would be equal, and his expenses would not be augmented. By their mutual +industry they might hope to amass sufficient to discharge the debt at no +very remote period. + +What she chiefly dreaded was the pernicious influence of dejection and +sedentary labour on her brother's health. Yet this was not to be +considered as inevitable. Fortitude might be inspired by exhortation and +example, and no condition precluded us from every species of bodily +exertion. The less inclined he should prove to cultivate the means of +deliverance and happiness within his reach, the more necessary it became +for her to stimulate and fortify his resolution. + +If I were captivated by the charms of this lady's person and carriage, +my reverence was excited by these proofs of wisdom and energy. I +zealously promised to concur with her in every scheme she should adopt +for her own or her brother's advantage; and, after spending some hours +with her, took my leave. + +I now regretted the ignorance in which I had hitherto remained +respecting this lady. That she was, in an eminent degree, feminine and +lovely, was easily discovered; but intellectual weakness had been rashly +inferred from external frailty. She was accustomed to shrink from +observation, and reserve was mistaken for timidity. I called on Carlton +only when numerous engagements would allow, and when, by some accident, +his customary visits had been intermitted. On those occasions, my stay +was short, and my attention chiefly confined to her brother. I now +resolved to atone for my ancient negligence, not only by my own +assiduities, but by those of my wife. + +On my return home, I found Mervyn and my wife in earnest discourse. I +anticipated the shock which the sensibility of the latter would receive +from the tidings which I had to communicate respecting Carlton. I was +unwilling, and yet perceived the necessity of disclosing the truth. I +desired to bring these women, as soon as possible, to the knowledge of +each other, but the necessary prelude to this was an acquaintance with +the disaster that had happened. + +Scarcely had I entered the room, when Mervyn turned to me, and said, +with an air of anxiety and impatience, "Pray, my friend, have you any +knowledge of Francis Carlton?" + +The mention of this name by Mervyn produced some surprise. I +acknowledged my acquaintance with him. + +"Do you know in what situation he now is?" + +In answer to this question, I stated by what singular means his +situation had been made known to me, and the purpose from the +accomplishment of which I had just returned. I inquired in my turn, +"Whence originated this question?" + +He had overheard the name of Carlton in the prison. Two persons were +communing in a corner, and accident enabled him to catch this name, +though uttered by them in a half whisper, and to discover that the +person talked about had lately been conveyed thither. + +This name was not now heard for the first time. It was connected with +remembrances that made him anxious for the fate of him to whom it +belonged. In discourse with my wife, this name chanced to be again +mentioned, and his curiosity was roused afresh. I was willing to +communicate all that I knew, but Mervyn's own destiny was too remarkable +not to absorb all my attention, and I refused to discuss any other theme +till that were fully explained. He postponed his own gratification to +mine, and consented to relate the incidents that had happened from the +moment of our separation till the present. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX. + + +At parting with you, my purpose was to reach the abode of the Hadwins as +speedily as possible. I travelled therefore with diligence. Setting out +so early, I expected, though on foot, to reach the end of my journey +before noon. The activity of muscles is no obstacle to thought. So far +from being inconsistent with intense musing, it is, in my own case, +propitious to that state of mind. + +Probably no one had stronger motives for ardent meditation than I. My +second journey to the city was prompted by reasons, and attended by +incidents, that seemed to have a present existence. To think upon them +was to view, more deliberately and thoroughly, objects and persons that +still hovered in my sight. Instead of their attributes being already +seen, and their consequences at an end, it seemed as if a series of +numerous years and unintermitted contemplation were requisite to +comprehend them fully, and bring into existence their most momentous +effects. + +If men be chiefly distinguished from each other by the modes in which +attention is employed, either on external and sensible objects, or +merely on abstract ideas and the creatures of reflection, I may justly +claim to be enrolled in the second class. My existence is a series of +thoughts rather than of motions. Ratiocination and deduction leave my +senses unemployed. The fulness of my fancy renders my eye vacant and +inactive. Sensations do not precede and suggest, but follow and are +secondary to, the acts of my mind. + +There was one motive, however, which made me less inattentive to the +scene that was continually shifting before and without me than I am +wont to be. The loveliest form which I had hitherto seen was that of +Clemenza Lodi. I recalled her condition as I had witnessed it, as +Welbeck had described, and as you had painted it. The past was without +remedy; but the future was, in some degree, within our power to create +and to fashion. Her state was probably dangerous. She might already be +forlorn, beset with temptation or with anguish; or danger might only be +approaching her, and the worst evils be impending ones. + +I was ignorant of her state. Could I not remove this ignorance? Would +not some benefit redound to her from beneficent and seasonable +interposition? + +You had mentioned that her abode had lately been with Mrs. Villars, and +that this lady still resided in the country. The residence had been +sufficiently described, and I perceived that I was now approaching it. +In a short time I spied its painted roof and five chimneys through an +avenue of _catalpas_. + +When opposite the gate which led into this avenue, I paused. It seemed +as if this moment were to decide upon the liberty and innocence of this +being. In a moment I might place myself before her, ascertain her true +condition, and point out to her the path of honour and safety. This +opportunity might be the last. Longer delay might render interposition +fruitless. + +But how was I to interpose? I was a stranger to her language, and she +was unacquainted with mine. To obtain access to her, it was necessary +only to demand it. But how should I explain my views and state my wishes +when an interview was gained? And what expedient was it in my power to +propose? + +"Now," said I, "I perceive the value of that wealth which I have been +accustomed to despise. The power of eating and drinking, the nature and +limits of existence and physical enjoyment, are not changed or enlarged +by the increase of wealth. Our corporeal and intellectual wants are +supplied at little expense; but our own wants are the wants of others, +and that which remains, after our own necessities are obviated, it is +always easy and just to employ in relieving the necessities of others. + +"There are no superfluities in my store. It is not in my power to supply +this unfortunate girl with decent raiment and honest bread. I have no +house to which to conduct her. I have no means of securing her from +famine and cold. + +"Yet, though indigent and feeble, I am not destitute of friends and of +home. Cannot she be admitted to the same asylum to which I am now +going?" This thought was sudden and new. The more it was revolved, the +more plausible it seemed. This was not merely the sole expedient, but +the best that could have been suggested. + +The Hadwins were friendly, hospitable, unsuspicious. Their board, though +simple and uncouth, was wholesome and plenteous. Their residence was +sequestered and obscure, and not obnoxious to impertinent inquiries and +malignant animadversion. Their frank and ingenuous temper would make +them easy of persuasion, and their sympathies were prompt and +overflowing. + +"I am nearly certain," continued I, "that they will instantly afford +protection to this desolate girl. Why shall I not anticipate their +consent, and present myself to their embraces and their welcomes in her +company?" + +Slight reflection showed me that this precipitation was improper. +Whether Wallace had ever arrived at Malverton, whether Mr. Hadwin had +escaped infection, whether his house were the abode of security and +quiet, or a scene of desolation, were questions yet to be determined. +The obvious and best proceeding was to hasten forward, to afford the +Hadwins, if in distress, the feeble consolations of my friendship; or, +if their state were happy, to procure their concurrence to my scheme +respecting Clemenza. + +Actuated by these considerations, I resumed my journey. Looking forward, +I perceived a chaise and horse standing by the left-hand fence, at the +distance of some hundred yards. This object was not uncommon or strange, +and, therefore, it was scarcely noticed. When I came near, however, +methought I recognised in this carriage the same in which my +importunities had procured a seat for the languishing Wallace, in the +manner which I have formerly related. + +It was a crazy vehicle and old-fashioned. When once seen it could +scarcely be mistaken or forgotten. The horse was held by his bridle to a +post, but the seat was empty. My solicitude with regard to Wallace's +destiny, of which he to whom the carriage belonged might possibly afford +me some knowledge, made me stop and reflect on what measures it was +proper to pursue. + +The rider could not be at a great distance from this spot. His absence +would probably be short. By lingering a few minutes an interview might +be gained, and the uncertainty and suspense of some hours be thereby +precluded. I therefore waited, and the same person whom I had formerly +encountered made his appearance, in a short time, from under a copse +that skirted the road. + +He recognised me with more difficulty than attended my recognition of +him. The circumstances, however, of our first meeting were easily +recalled to his remembrance. I eagerly inquired when and where he had +parted with the youth who had been, on that occasion, intrusted to his +care. + +He answered that, on leaving the city and inhaling the purer air of the +fields and woods, Wallace had been, in a wonderful degree, invigorated +and refreshed. An instantaneous and total change appeared to have been +wrought in him. He no longer languished with fatigue or fear, but became +full of gayety and talk. + +The suddenness of this transition; the levity with which he related and +commented on his recent dangers and evils, excited the astonishment of +his companion, to whom he not only communicated the history of his +disease, but imparted many anecdotes of a humorous kind. Some of these +my companion repeated. I heard them with regret and dissatisfaction. +They betokened a mind vitiated by intercourse with the thoughtless and +depraved of both sexes, and particularly with infamous and profligate +women. + +My companion proceeded to mention that Wallace's exhilaration lasted but +for a short time, and disappeared as suddenly as it had appeared. He +was seized with deadly sickness, and insisted upon leaving the carriage, +whose movements shocked his stomach and head to an insupportable degree. +His companion was not void of apprehensions on his own account, but was +unwilling to desert him, and endeavoured to encourage him. His efforts +were vain. Though the nearest house was at the distance of some hundred +yards, and though it was probable that the inhabitants of this house +would refuse to accommodate one in his condition, yet Wallace could not +be prevailed on to proceed; and, in spite of persuasion and +remonstrance, left the carriage and threw himself on the grassy bank +beside the road. + +This person was not unmindful of the hazard which he incurred by contact +with a sick man. He conceived himself to have performed all that was +consistent with duty to himself and to his family; and Wallace, +persisting in affirming that, by attempting to ride farther, he should +merely hasten his death, was at length left to his own guidance. + +These were unexpected and mournful tidings. I had fondly imagined that +his safety was put beyond the reach of untoward accidents. Now, however, +there was reason to suppose him to have perished by a lingering and +painful disease, rendered fatal by the selfishness of mankind, by the +want of seasonable remedies, and exposure to inclement airs. Some +uncertainty, however, rested on his fate. It was my duty to remove it, +and to carry to the Hadwins no mangled and defective tale. Where, I +asked, had Wallace and his companion parted? + +It was about three miles farther onward. The spot, and the house within +view from the spot, were accurately described. In this house it was +possible that Wallace had sought an asylum, and some intelligence +respecting him might be gained from its inhabitants. My informant was +journeying to the city, so that we were obliged to separate. + +In consequence of this man's description of Wallace's deportment, and +the proofs of a dissolute and thoughtless temper which he had given, I +began to regard his death as an event less deplorable. Such a one was +unworthy of a being so devoutly pure, so ardent in fidelity and +tenderness, as Susan Hadwin. If he loved, it was probable that, in +defiance of his vows, he would seek a different companion. If he adhered +to his first engagements, his motives would be sordid, and the +disclosure of his latent defects might produce more exquisite misery to +his wife than his premature death or treacherous desertion. + +The preservation of this man was my sole motive for entering the +infected city, and subjecting my own life to the hazards from which my +escape may almost be esteemed miraculous. Was not the end +disproportioned to the means? Was there arrogance in believing my life a +price too great to be given for his? + +I was not, indeed, sorry for the past. My purpose was just, and the +means which I selected were the best my limited knowledge supplied. My +happiness should be drawn from reflecting on the equity of my +intentions. That these intentions were frustrated by the ignorance of +others, or my own, was the consequence of human frailty. Honest +purposes, though they may not bestow happiness on others, will, at +least, secure it to him who fosters them. + +By these reflections my regrets were dissipated, and I prepared to +rejoice alike, whether Wallace should be found to have escaped or to +have perished. The house to which I had been directed was speedily +brought into view. I inquired for the master or mistress of the mansion, +and was conducted to a lady of a plain and housewifely appearance. + +My curiosity was fully gratified. Wallace, whom my description easily +identified, had made his appearance at her door on the evening of the +day on which he left the city. The dread of _the fever_ was descanted on +with copious and rude eloquence. I supposed her eloquence on this theme +to be designed to apologize to me for her refusing entrance to the sick +man. The peroration, however, was different. Wallace was admitted, and +suitable attention paid to his wants. + +Happily, the guest had nothing to struggle with but extreme weakness. +Repose, nourishing diet, and salubrious airs restored him in a short +time to health. He lingered under this roof for three weeks, and then, +without any professions of gratitude, or offers of pecuniary +remuneration, or information of the course which he determined to take, +he left them. + +These facts, added to that which I had previously known, threw no +advantageous light upon the character of Wallace. It was obvious to +conclude that he had gone to Malverton, and thither there was nothing to +hinder me from following him. + +Perhaps one of my grossest defects is a precipitate temper. I choose my +path suddenly, and pursue it with impetuous expedition. In the present +instance, my resolution was conceived with unhesitating zeal, and I +walked the faster that I might the sooner execute it. Miss Hadwin +deserved to be happy. Love was in her heart the all-absorbing sentiment. +A disappointment there was a supreme calamity. Depravity and folly must +assume the guise of virtue before it can claim her affection. This +disguise might be maintained for a time, but its detection must +inevitably come, and the sooner this detection takes place the more +beneficial it must prove. + +I resolved to unbosom myself, with equal and unbounded confidence, to +Wallace and his mistress. I would choose for this end, not the moment +when they were separate, but that in which they were together. My +knowledge, and the sources of my knowledge, relative to Wallace, should +be unfolded to the lady with simplicity and truth. The lover should be +present, to confute, to extenuate, or to verify the charges. + +During the rest of the day these images occupied the chief place in my +thoughts. The road was miry and dark, and my journey proved to be more +tedious and fatiguing than I expected. At length, just as the evening +closed, the well-known habitation appeared in view. Since my departure, +winter had visited the world, and the aspect of nature was desolate and +dreary. All around this house was vacant, negligent, forlorn. The +contrast between these appearances and those which I had noticed on my +first approach to it, when the ground and the trees were decked with +the luxuriance and vivacity of summer, was mournful, and seemed to +foretoken ill. My spirits drooped as I noticed the general inactivity +and silence. + +I entered, without warning, the door that led into the parlour. No face +was to be seen or voice heard. The chimney was ornamented, as in summer, +with evergreen shrubs. Though it was now the second month of frost and +snow, fire did not appear to have been lately kindled on this hearth. + +This was a circumstance from which nothing good could be deduced. Had +there been those to share its comforts who had shared them on former +years, this was the place and hour at which they commonly assembled. A +door on one side led, through a narrow entry, into the kitchen. I opened +this door, and passed towards the kitchen. + +No one was there but an old man, squatted in the chimney-corner. His +face, though wrinkled, denoted undecayed health and an unbending spirit. +A homespun coat, leathern breeches wrinkled with age, and blue yarn +hose, were well suited to his lean and shrivelled form. On his right +knee was a wooden bowl, which he had just replenished from a pipkin of +hasty pudding still smoking on the coals; and in his left hand a spoon, +which he had, at that moment, plunged into a bottle of molasses that +stood beside him. + +This action was suspended by my entrance. He looked up and exclaimed, +"Heyday! who's this that comes into other people's houses without so +much as saying 'by your leave'? What's thee business? Who's thee want?" + +I had never seen this personage before. I supposed it to be some new +domestic, and inquired for Mr. Hadwin. + +"Ah!" replied he, with a sigh, "William Hadwin. Is it him thee wants? +Poor man! He is gone to rest many days since." + +My heart sunk within me at these tidings. "Dead!" said I; "do you mean +that he is dead?"--This exclamation was uttered in a tone of some +vehemence. It attracted the attention of some one who was standing +without, who immediately entered the kitchen. It was Eliza Hadwin. The +moment she beheld me she shrieked aloud, and, rushing into my arms, +fainted away. + +The old man dropped his bowl; and, starting from his seat, stared +alternately at me and at the breathless girl. My emotion, made up of +joy, and sorrow, and surprise, rendered me for a moment powerless as +she. At length he said, "I understand this. I know who thee is, and will +tell her thee's come." So saying, he hastily left the room. + + + + +CHAPTER XXX. + + +In a short time this gentle girl recovered her senses. She did not +withdraw herself from my sustaining arm, but, leaning on my bosom, she +resigned herself to passionate weeping. I did not endeavour to check +this effusion, believing that its influence would be salutary. + +I had not forgotten the thrilling sensibility and artless graces of this +girl. I had not forgotten the scruples which had formerly made me check +a passion whose tendency was easily discovered. These new proofs of her +affection were, at once, mournful and delightful. The untimely fate of +her father and my friend pressed with new force upon my heart, and my +tears, in spite of my fortitude, mingled with hers. + +The attention of both was presently attracted by a faint scream, which +proceeded from above. Immediately tottering footsteps were heard in the +passage, and a figure rushed into the room, pale, emaciated, haggard, +and wild. She cast a piercing glance at me, uttered a feeble +exclamation, and sunk upon the floor without signs of life. + +It was not difficult to comprehend this scene. I now conjectured, what +subsequent inquiry confirmed, that the old man had mistaken me for +Wallace, and had carried to the elder sister the news of his return. +This fatal disappointment of hopes that had nearly been extinct, and +which were now so powerfully revived, could not be endured by a frame +verging to dissolution. + +This object recalled all the energies of Eliza, and engrossed all my +solicitude. I lifted the fallen girl in my arms; and, guided by her +sister, carried her to her chamber. I had now leisure to contemplate the +changes which a few months had made in this lovely frame. I turned away +from the spectacle with anguish, but my wandering eyes were recalled by +some potent fascination, and fixed in horror upon a form which evinced +the last stage of decay. Eliza knelt on one side, and, leaning her face +upon the bed, endeavoured in vain to smother her sobs. I sat on the +other motionless, and holding the passive and withered hand of the +sufferer. + +I watched with ineffable solicitude the return of life. It returned at +length, but merely to betray symptoms that it would speedily depart +forever. For a time my faculties were palsied, and I was made an +impotent spectator of the ruin that environed me. This pusillanimity +quickly gave way to resolutions and reflections better suited to the +exigencies of the time. + +The first impulse was to summon a physician; but it was evident that the +patient had been sinking by slow degrees to this state, and that the +last struggle had begun. Nothing remained but to watch her while +expiring, and perform for her, when dead, the rites of interment. The +survivor was capable of consolation and of succour. I went to her and +drew her gently into another apartment. The old man, tremulous and +wonder-struck, seemed anxious to perform some service. I directed him to +kindle a fire in Eliza's chamber. Meanwhile I persuaded my gentle friend +to remain in this chamber, and resign to me the performance of every +office which her sister's condition required. I sat beside the bed of +the dying till the mortal struggle was past. + +I perceived that the house had no inhabitant besides the two females and +the old man. I went in search of the latter, and found him crouched, as +before, at the kitchen-fire, smoking his pipe. I placed myself on the +same bench, and entered into conversation with him. + +I gathered from him that he had, for many years, been Mr. Hadwin's +servant. That lately he had cultivated a small farm in this +neighbourhood for his own advantage. Stopping one day in October, at the +tavern, he heard that his old master had lately been in the city, had +caught _the fever_, and after his return had died with it. The moment he +became sick, his servants fled from the house, and the neighbours +refused to approach it. The task of attending his sick-bed was allotted +to his daughters, and it was by their hands that his grave was dug and +his body covered with earth. The same terror of infection existed after +his death as before, and these hapless females were deserted by all +mankind. + +Old Caleb was no sooner informed of these particulars, than he hurried +to the house, and had since continued in their service. His heart was +kind, but it was easily seen that his skill extended only to execute the +directions of another. Grief for the death of Wallace and her father +preyed upon the health of the eldest daughter. The younger became her +nurse, and Caleb was always at hand to execute any orders the +performance of which was on a level with his understanding. Their +neighbours had not withheld their good offices, but they were still +terrified and estranged by the phantoms of pestilence. + +During the last week Susan had been too weak to rise from her bed; yet +such was the energy communicated by the tidings that Wallace was alive, +and had returned, that she leaped upon her feet and rushed down-stairs. +How little did that man deserve so strenuous and immortal an affection! + +I would not allow myself to ponder on the sufferings of these women. I +endeavoured to think only of the best expedients for putting an end to +these calamities. After a moment's deliberation I determined to go to a +house at some miles' distance; the dwelling of one who, though not +exempt from the reigning panic, had shown more generosity towards these +unhappy girls than others. During my former abode in this district, I +had ascertained his character, and found him to be compassionate and +liberal. + +Overpowered by fatigue and watching, Eliza was no sooner relieved, by my +presence, of some portion of her cares, than she sunk into profound +slumber. I directed Caleb to watch the house till my return, which +should be before midnight, and then set out for the dwelling of Mr. +Ellis. + +The weather was temperate and moist, and rendered the footing of the +meadows extremely difficult. The ground, that had lately been frozen and +covered with snow, was now changed into gullies and pools, and this was +no time to be fastidious in the choice of paths. A brook, swelled by the +recent _thaw_, was likewise to be passed. The rail which I had formerly +placed over it by way of bridge had disappeared, and I was obliged to +wade through it. At length I approached the house to which I was going. + +At so late an hour, farmers and farmers' servants are usually abed, and +their threshold is intrusted to their watch-dogs. Two belonged to Mr. +Ellis, whose ferocity and vigilance were truly formidable to a stranger; +but I hoped that in me they would recognise an old acquaintance, and +suffer me to approach. In this I was not mistaken. Though my person +could not be distinctly seen by starlight, they seemed to scent me from +afar, and met me with a thousand caresses. + +Approaching the house, I perceived that its tenants were retired to +their repose. This I expected, and hastened to awaken Mr. Ellis, by +knocking briskly at the door. Presently he looked out of a window above, +and, in answer to his inquiries, in which impatience at being so +unseasonably disturbed was mingled with anxiety, I told him my name, and +entreated him to come down and allow me a few minutes' conversation. He +speedily dressed himself, and, opening the kitchen door, we seated +ourselves before the fire. + +My appearance was sufficiently adapted to excite his wonder; he had +heard of my elopement from the house of Mr. Hadwin, he was a stranger to +the motives that prompted my departure, and to the events that had +befallen me, and no interview was more distant from his expectations +than the present. His curiosity was written in his features, but this +was no time to gratify his curiosity. The end that I now had in view was +to procure accommodation for Eliza Hadwin in this man's house. For this +purpose it was my duty to describe, with simplicity and truth, the +inconveniences which at present surrounded her, and to relate all that +had happened since my arrival. + +I perceived that my tale excited his compassion, and I continued with +new zeal to paint to him the helplessness of this girl. The death of +her father and sister left her the property of this farm. Her sex and +age disqualified her for superintending the harvest-field and the +threshing-floor; and no expedient was left but to lease the land to +another, and, taking up her abode in the family of some kinsman or +friend, to subsist, as she might easily do, upon the rent. Meanwhile her +continuance in this house was equally useless and dangerous, and I +insinuated to my companion the propriety of immediately removing her to +his own. + +Some hesitation and reluctance appeared in him, which I immediately +ascribed to an absurd dread of infection. I endeavoured, by appealing to +his reason as well as to his pity, to conquer this dread. I pointed out +the true cause of the death of the elder daughter, and assured him the +youngest knew no indisposition but that which arose from distress. I +offered to save him from any hazard that might attend his approaching +the house, by accompanying her hither myself. All that her safety +required was that his doors should not be shut against her when she +presented herself before them. + +Still he was fearful and reluctant; and, at length, mentioned that her +uncle resided not more than sixteen miles farther; that he was her +natural protector, and, he dared to say, would find no difficulty in +admitting her into his house. For his part, there might be reason in +what I said, but he could not bring himself to think but that there was +still some danger of _the fever_. It was right to assist people in +distress, to-be-sure; but to risk his own life he did not think to be +his duty. He was no relation of the family, and it was the duty of +relations to help each other. Her uncle was the proper person to assist +her, and no doubt he would be as willing as able. + +The marks of dubiousness and indecision which accompanied these words +encouraged me in endeavouring to subdue his scruples. The increase of +his aversion to my scheme kept pace with my remonstrances, and he +finally declared that he would, on no account, consent to it. + +Ellis was by no means hard of heart. His determination did not prove the +coldness of his charity, but merely the strength of his fears. He was +himself an object more of compassion than of anger; and he acted like +the man whose fear of death prompts him to push his companion from the +plank which saved him from drowning, but which is unable to sustain +both. Finding him invincible to my entreaties, I thought upon the +expedient which he suggested of seeking the protection of her uncle. It +was true that the loss of parents had rendered her uncle her legal +protector. His knowledge of the world; his house and property and +influence, would, perhaps, fit him for this office in a more eminent +degree than I was fitted. To seek a different asylum might, indeed, be +unjust to both; and, after some reflection, I not only dismissed the +regret which Ellis's refusal had given me, but even thanked him for the +intelligence and counsel which he had afforded me. I took leave of him, +and hastened back to Hadwin's. + +Eliza, by Caleb's report, was still asleep. There was no urgent +necessity for awakening her; but something was forthwith to be done with +regard to the unhappy girl that was dead. The proceeding incumbent on us +was obvious. All that remained was to dig a grave, and to deposit the +remains with as much solemnity and decency as the time would permit. +There were two methods of doing this. I might wait till the next day; +till a coffin could be made and conveyed hither; till the woman, whose +trade it was to make and put on the habiliments assigned by custom to +the dead, could be sought out and hired to attend; till kindred, +friends, and neighbours could be summoned to the obsequies; till a +carriage were provided to remove the body to a burying-ground, belonging +to a meeting-house, and five miles distant; till those whose trade it +was to dig graves had prepared one, within the sacred enclosure, for her +reception; or, neglecting this toilsome, tedious, and expensive +ceremonial, I might seek the grave of Hadwin, and lay the daughter by +the side of her parent. + +Perhaps I was strong in my preference of the latter mode. The customs of +burial may, in most cases, be in themselves proper. If the customs be +absurd, yet it may be generally proper to adhere to them; but doubtless +there are cases in which it is our duty to omit them. I conceived the +present case to be such a one. + +The season was bleak and inclement. Much time, labour, and expense would +be required to go through the customary rites. There was none but myself +to perform these, and I had not the suitable means. The misery of Eliza +would only be prolonged by adhering to these forms, and her fortune be +needlessly diminished by the expenses unavoidably to be incurred. + +After musing upon these ideas for some time, I rose from my seat, and +desired Caleb to follow me. We proceeded to an outer shed where farmers' +tools used to be kept. I supplied him and myself with a spade, and +requested him to lead me to the spot where Mr. Hadwin was laid. + +He betrayed some hesitation to comply, and appeared struck with some +degree of alarm, as if my purpose had been to molest, instead of +securing, the repose of the dead. I removed his doubts by explaining my +intentions; but he was scarcely less shocked, on discovering the truth, +than he had been alarmed by his first suspicions. He stammered out his +objections to my scheme. There was but one mode of burial, he thought, +that was decent and proper, and he could not be free to assist me in +pursuing any other mode. + +Perhaps Caleb's aversion to the scheme might have been easily overcome; +but I reflected that a mind like his was at once flexible and obstinate. +He might yield to arguments and entreaties, and act by their immediate +impulse; but the impulse passed away in a moment, old and habitual +convictions were resumed, and his deviation from the beaten track would +be merely productive of compunction. His aid, on the present occasion, +though of some use, was by no means indispensable. I forbore to solicit +his concurrence, or even to vanquish the scruples he entertained against +directing me to the grave of Hadwin. It was a groundless superstition +that made one spot more suitable for this purpose than another. I +desired Caleb, in a mild tone, to return to the kitchen, and leave me to +act as I thought proper. I then proceeded to the orchard. + +One corner of this field was somewhat above the level of the rest. The +tallest tree of the group grew there, and there I had formerly placed a +bench, and made it my retreat at periods of leisure. It had been +recommended by its sequestered situation, its luxuriant verdure, and +profound quiet. On one side was a potato-field, on the other a +_melon-patch_; and before me, in rows, some hundreds of apple-trees. +Here I was accustomed to seek the benefits of contemplation and study +the manuscripts of Lodi. A few months had passed since I had last +visited this spot. What revolutions had since occurred, and how gloomily +contrasted was my present purpose with what had formerly led me hither! + +In this spot I had hastily determined to dig the grave of Susan. The +grave was dug. All that I desired was a cavity of sufficient dimensions +to receive her. This being made, I returned to the house, lifted the +corpse in my arms, and bore it without delay to the spot. Caleb, seated +in the kitchen, and Eliza, asleep in her chamber, were wholly unapprized +of my motions. The grave was covered, the spade reposited under the +shed, and my seat by the kitchen-fire resumed in a time apparently too +short for so solemn and momentous a transaction. + +I look back upon this incident with emotions not easily described. It +seems as if I acted with too much precipitation; as if insensibility, +and not reason, had occasioned that clearness of conceptions, and +bestowed that firmness of muscles, which I then experienced. I neither +trembled nor wavered in my purpose. I bore in my arms the being whom I +had known and loved, through the whistling gale and intense darkness of +a winter's night; I heaped earth upon her limbs, and covered them from +human observation, without fluctuations or tremors, though not without +feelings that were awful and sublime. + +Perhaps some part of my steadfastness was owing to my late experience, +and some minds may be more easily inured to perilous emergencies than +others. If reason acquires strength only by the diminution of +sensibility, perhaps it is just for sensibility to be diminished. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI. + + +The safety of Eliza was the object that now occupied my cares. To have +slept, after her example, had been most proper; but my uncertainty with +regard to her fate, and my desire to conduct her to some other home, +kept my thoughts in perpetual motion. I waited with impatience till she +should awake and allow me to consult with her on plans for futurity. + +Her sleep terminated not till the next day had arisen. Having recovered +the remembrance of what had lately happened, she inquired for her +sister. She wanted to view once more the face and kiss the lips of her +beloved Susan. Some relief to her anguish she expected to derive from +this privilege. + +When informed of the truth, when convinced that Susan had disappeared +forever, she broke forth into fresh passion. It seemed as if her loss +was not hopeless or complete as long as she was suffered to behold the +face of her friend and to touch her lips. She accused me of acting +without warrant and without justice; of defrauding her of her dearest +and only consolation; and of treating her sister's sacred remains with +barbarous indifference and rudeness. + +I explained in the gentlest terms the reasons of my conduct. I was not +surprised or vexed that she, at first, treated them as futile, and as +heightening my offence. Such was the impulse of a grief which was +properly excited by her loss. To be tranquil and steadfast, in the midst +of the usual causes of impetuosity and agony, is either the prerogative +of wisdom that sublimes itself above all selfish considerations, or the +badge of giddy and unfeeling folly. + +The torrent was at length exhausted. Upbraiding was at an end; and +gratitude, and tenderness, and implicit acquiescence in any scheme which +my prudence should suggest, succeeded. I mentioned her uncle as one to +whom it would be proper, in her present distress, to apply. + +She started and betrayed uneasiness at this name. It was evident that +she by no means concurred with me in my notions of propriety; that she +thought with aversion of seeking her uncle's protection. I requested her +to state her objections to this scheme, or to mention any other which +she thought preferable. + +She knew nobody. She had not a friend in the world but myself. She had +never been out of her father's house. She had no relation but her uncle +Philip, and he--she could not live with him. I must not insist upon her +going to his house. It was not the place for her. She should never be +happy there. + +I was, at first, inclined to suspect in my friend some capricious and +groundless antipathy. I desired her to explain what in her uncle's +character made him so obnoxious. She refused to be more explicit, and +persisted in thinking that his house was no suitable abode for her. + +Finding her, in this respect, invincible, I sought for some other +expedient. Might she not easily be accommodated as a boarder in the +city, or some village, or in a remote quarter of the country? Ellis, her +nearest and most opulent neighbour, had refused to receive her; but +there were others who had not his fears. There were others, within the +compass of a day's journey, who were strangers to the cause of Hadwin's +death; but would it not be culpable to take advantage of that ignorance? +Their compliance ought not to be the result of deception. + +While thus engaged, the incidents of my late journey recurred to my +remembrance, and I asked, "Is not the honest woman, who entertained +Wallace, just such a person as that of whom I am in search? Her +treatment of Wallace shows her to be exempt from chimerical fears, +proves that she has room in her house for an occasional inmate." + +Encouraged by these views, I told my weeping companion that I had +recollected a family in which she would be kindly treated; and that, if +she chose, we would not lose a moment in repairing thither. Horses, +belonging to the farm, grazed in the meadows, and a couple of these +would carry us in a few hours to the place which I had selected for her +residence. On her eagerly assenting to this proposal, I inquired in +whose care, and in what state, our present habitation should be left. + +The father's property now belonged to the daughter. Eliza's mind was +quick, active, and sagacious; but her total inexperience gave her +sometimes the appearance of folly. She was eager to fly from this house, +and to resign herself and her property, without limitation or condition, +to my control. Our intercourse had been short, but she relied on my +protection and counsel as absolutely as she had been accustomed to do +upon her father's. + +She knew not what answer to make to my inquiry. Whatever I pleased to do +was the best. What did I think ought to be done? + +"Ah!" thought I, "sweet, artless, and simple girl! how wouldst thou have +fared, if Heaven had not sent me to thy succour? There are beings in the +world who would make a selfish use of thy confidence; who would beguile +thee at once of innocence and property. Such am not I. Thy welfare is a +precious deposit, and no father or brother could watch over it with more +solicitude than I will do." + +I was aware that Mr. Hadwin might have fixed the destination of his +property, and the guardianship of his daughters, by will. On suggesting +this to my friend, it instantly reminded her of an incident that took +place after his last return from the city. He had drawn up his will, and +gave it into Susan's possession, who placed it in a drawer, whence it +was now taken by my friend. + +By this will his property was now found to be bequeathed to his two +daughters; and his brother, Philip Hadwin, was named executor, and +guardian to his daughters till they should be twenty years old. This +name was no sooner heard by my friend, than she exclaimed, in a tone of +affright, "Executor! My uncle! What is that? What power does that give +him?" + +"I know not exactly the power of executors. He will, doubtless, have +possession of your property till you are twenty years of age. Your +person will likewise be under his care till that time." + +"Must he decide where I am to live?" + +"He is vested with all the power of a father." + +This assurance excited the deepest consternation. She fixed her eyes on +the ground, and was lost, for a time, in the deepest reverie. +Recovering, at length, she said, with a sigh, "What if my father had +made no will?" + +"In that case, a guardian could not be dispensed with, but the right of +naming him would belong to yourself." + +"And my uncle would have nothing to do with my affairs?" + +"I am no lawyer," said I; "but I presume all authority over your person +and property would devolve upon the guardian of your own choice." + +"Then I am free." Saying this, with a sudden motion, she tore in several +pieces the will, which, during this dialogue, she had held in her hand, +and threw the fragments into the fire. + +No action was more unexpected to me than this. My astonishment hindered +me from attempting to rescue the paper from the flames. It was consumed +in a moment. I was at a loss in what manner to regard this sacrifice. It +denoted a force of mind little in unison with that simplicity and +helplessness which this girl had hitherto displayed. It argued the +deepest apprehensions of mistreatment from her uncle. Whether his +conduct had justified this violent antipathy, I had no means of judging. +Mr. Hadwin's choice of him, as his executor, was certainly one proof of +his integrity. + +My abstraction was noticed by Eliza with visible anxiety. It was plain +that she dreaded the impression which this act of seeming temerity had +made upon me. "Do not be angry with me," said she; "perhaps I have been +wrong, but I could not help it. I will have but one guardian and one +protector." + +The deed was irrevocable. In my present ignorance of the domestic +history of the Hadwins, I was unqualified to judge how far circumstances +might extenuate or justify the act. On both accounts, therefore, it was +improper to expatiate upon it. + +It was concluded to leave the care of the house to honest Caleb; to +fasten closets and drawers, and, carrying away the money which was found +in one of them, and which amounted to no inconsiderable sum, to repair +to the house formerly mentioned. The air was cold; a heavy snow began to +fall in the night; the wind blew tempestuously; and we were compelled to +confront it. + +In leaving her dwelling, in which she had spent her whole life, the +unhappy girl gave way afresh to her sorrow. It made her feeble and +helpless. When placed upon the horse, she was scarcely able to maintain +her seat. Already chilled by the cold, blinded by the drifting snow, and +cut by the blast, all my remonstrances were needed to inspire her with +resolution. + +I am not accustomed to regard the elements, or suffer them to retard or +divert me from any design that I have formed. I had overlooked the weak +and delicate frame of my companion, and made no account of her being +less able to support cold and fatigue than myself. It was not till we +had made some progress in our way, that I began to view, in their true +light, the obstacles that were to be encountered. I conceived it, +however, too late to retreat, and endeavoured to push on with speed. + +My companion was a skilful rider, but her steed was refractory and +unmanageable. She was able, however, to curb his spirit till we had +proceeded ten or twelve miles from Malverton. The wind and the cold +became too violent to be longer endured, and I resolved to stop at the +first house which should present itself to my view, for the sake of +refreshment and warmth. + +We now entered a wood of some extent, at the termination of which I +remembered that a dwelling stood. To pass this wood, therefore, with +expedition, was all that remained before we could reach a hospitable +asylum. I endeavoured to sustain, by this information, the sinking +spirits of my companion. While busy in conversing with her, a blast of +irresistible force twisted off the highest branch of a tree before us. +It fell in the midst of the road, at the distance of a few feet from her +horse's head. Terrified by this accident, the horse started from the +path, and, rushing into the wood, in a moment threw himself and his +rider on the ground, by encountering the rugged stock of an oak. + +I dismounted and flew to her succour. The snow was already dyed with the +blood which flowed from some wound in her head, and she lay without +sense or motion. My terrors did not hinder me from anxiously searching +for the hurt which was received, and ascertaining the extent of the +injury. Her forehead was considerably bruised; but, to my unspeakable +joy, the blood flowed from the nostrils, and was, therefore, to be +regarded as no mortal symptom. + +I lifted her in my arms, and looked around me for some means of relief. +The house at which I proposed to stop was upwards of a mile distant. I +remembered none that was nearer. To place the wounded girl on my own +horse, and proceed gently to the house in question, was the sole +expedient; but, at present, she was senseless, and might, on recovering, +be too feeble to sustain her own weight. + +To recall her to life was my first duty; but I was powerless, or +unacquainted with the means. I gazed upon her features, and endeavoured, +by pressing her in my arms, to inspire her with some warmth. I looked +towards the road, and listened for the wished-for sound of some carriage +that might be prevailed on to stop and receive her. Nothing was more +improbable than that either pleasure or business would induce men to +encounter so chilling and vehement a blast. To be lighted on by some +traveller was, therefore, a hopeless event. + +Meanwhile, Eliza's swoon continued, and my alarm increased. What effect +her half-frozen blood would have in prolonging this condition, or +preventing her return to life, awakened the deepest apprehensions. I +left the wood, still bearing her in my arms, and re-entered the road, +from the desire of descrying, as soon as possible, the coming passenger. +I looked this way and that, and again listened. Nothing but the sweeping +blast, rent and fallen branches, and snow that filled and obscured the +air, were perceivable. Each moment retarded the course of my own blood +and stiffened my sinews, and made the state of my companion more +desperate. How was I to act? To perish myself, or see her perish, was an +ignoble fate; courage and activity were still able to avert it. My horse +stood near, docile and obsequious; to mount him and to proceed on my +way, holding my lifeless burden in my arms, was all that remained. + +At this moment my attention was called by several voices issuing from +the wood. It was the note of gayety and glee. Presently a sleigh, with +several persons of both sexes, appeared, in a road which led through the +forest into that in which I stood. They moved at a quick pace, but their +voices were hushed, and they checked the speed of their horses, on +discovering us. No occurrence was more auspicious than this; for I +relied with perfect confidence on the benevolence of these persons, and, +as soon as they came near, claimed their assistance. + +My story was listened to with sympathy, and one of the young men, +leaping from the sleigh, assisted me in placing Eliza in the place which +he had left. A female, of sweet aspect and engaging manners, insisted +upon turning back and hastening to the house, where it seems her father +resided, and which the party had just left. I rode after the sleigh, +which in a few minutes arrived at the house. The dwelling was spacious +and neat, and a venerable man and woman, alarmed by the quick return of +the young people, came forth to know the cause. They received their +guest with the utmost tenderness, and provided her with all the +accommodations which her condition required. Their daughter relinquished +the scheme of pleasure in which she had been engaged, and, compelling +her companions to depart without her, remained to nurse and console the +sick. + +A little time showed that no lasting injury had been suffered. +Contusions, more troublesome than dangerous, and easily curable by such +applications as rural and traditional wisdom has discovered, were the +only consequences of the fall. My mind, being relieved from +apprehensions on this score, had leisure to reflect upon the use which +might be made of the present state of things. + +When I remarked the structure of this house, and the features and +deportment of its inhabitants, methought I discerned a powerful +resemblance between this family and Hadwin's. It seemed as if some +benignant power had led us hither as to the most suitable asylum that +could be obtained; and, in order to supply to the forlorn Eliza the +place of those parents and that sister she had lost, I conceived that, +if their concurrence could be gained, no abode was more suitable than +this. No time was to be lost in gaining this concurrence. The curiosity +of our host and hostess, whose name was Curling, speedily afforded me an +opportunity to disclose the history and real situation of my friend. +There were no motives to reserve or prevarication. There was nothing +which I did not faithfully and circumstantially relate. I concluded with +stating my wishes that they would admit my friend as a boarder into +their house. + +The old man was warm in his concurrence. His wife betrayed some +scruples; which, however, her husband's arguments and mine removed. I +did not even suppress the tenor and destruction of the will, and the +antipathy which Eliza had conceived for her uncle, and which I declared +myself unable to explain. It presently appeared that Mr. Curling had +some knowledge of Philip Hadwin, and that the latter had acquired the +repute of being obdurate and profligate. He employed all means to +accomplish his selfish ends, and would probably endeavour to usurp the +property which his brother had left. To provide against his power and +his malice would be particularly incumbent on us, and my new friend +readily promised his assistance in the measures which we should take to +that end. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXII. + + +The state of my feelings may be easily conceived to consist of mixed, +but, on the whole, of agreeable, sensations. The death of Hadwin and his +elder daughter could not be thought upon without keen regrets. These it +was useless to indulge, and were outweighed by reflections on the +personal security in which the survivor was now placed. It was hurtful +to expend my unprofitable cares upon the dead, while there existed one +to whom they could be of essential benefit, and in whose happiness they +would find an ample compensation. + +This happiness, however, was still incomplete. It was still exposed to +hazard, and much remained to be done before adequate provision was made +against the worst of evils, poverty. I now found that Eliza, being only +fifteen years old, stood in need of a guardian, and that the forms of +law required that some one should make himself her father's +administrator. Mr. Curling, being tolerably conversant with these +subjects, pointed out the mode to be pursued, and engaged to act on this +occasion as Eliza's friend. + +There was another topic on which my happiness, as well as that of my +friend, required us to form some decision. I formerly mentioned, that, +during my abode at Malverton, I had not been insensible to the +attractions of this girl. An affection had stolen upon me, for which it +was easily discovered that I should not have been denied a suitable +return. My reasons for stifling these emotions, at that time, have been +mentioned. It may now be asked, what effect subsequent events had +produced on my feelings, and how far partaking and relieving her +distresses had revived a passion which may readily be supposed to have +been, at no time, entirely extinguished. + +The impediments which then existed were removed. Our union would no +longer risk the resentment or sorrow of her excellent parent. She had no +longer a sister to divide with her the property of the farm, and make +what was sufficient for both, when living together, too little for +either separately. Her youth and simplicity required, beyond most +others, a legal protector, and her happiness was involved in the success +of those hopes which she took no pains to conceal. + +As to me, it seemed at first view as if every incident conspired to +determine my choice. Omitting all regard to the happiness of others, my +own interest could not fail to recommend a scheme by which the precious +benefits of competence and independence might be honestly obtained. The +excursions of my fancy had sometimes carried me beyond the bounds +prescribed by my situation, but they were, nevertheless, limited to that +field to which I had once some prospect of acquiring a title. All I +wanted for the basis of my gaudiest and most dazzling structures was a +hundred acres of plough-land and meadow. Here my spirit of improvement, +my zeal to invent and apply new maxims of household luxury and +convenience, new modes and instruments of tillage, new arts connected +with orchard, garden, and cornfield, were supplied with abundant scope. +Though the want of these would not benumb my activity, or take away +content, the possession would confer exquisite and permanent enjoyments. + +My thoughts have ever hovered over the images of wife and children with +more delight than over any other images. My fancy was always active on +this theme, and its reveries sufficiently ecstatic and glowing; but, +since my intercourse with this girl, my scattered visions were collected +and concentrated. I had now a form and features before me; a sweet and +melodious voice vibrated in my ear; my soul was filled, as it were, with +her lineaments and gestures, actions and looks. All ideas, possessing +any relation to beauty or sex, appeared to assume this shape. They kept +an immovable place in my mind, they diffused around them an ineffable +complacency. Love is merely of value as a prelude to a more tender, +intimate, and sacred union. Was I not in love? and did I not pant after +the irrevocable bounds, the boundless privileges, of wedlock? + +The question which others might ask, I have asked myself:--Was I not in +love? I am really at a loss for an answer. There seemed to be +irresistible weight in the reasons why I should refuse to marry, and +even forbear to foster love in my friend. I considered my youth, my +defective education, and my limited views. I had passed from my cottage +into the world. I had acquired, even in my transient sojourn among the +busy haunts of men, more knowledge than the lucubrations and employments +of all my previous years had conferred. Hence I might infer the +childlike immaturity of my understanding, and the rapid progress I was +still capable of making. Was this an age to form an irrevocable +contract; to choose the companion of my future life, the associate of my +schemes of intellectual and benevolent activity? + +I had reason to contemn my own acquisitions; but were not those of Eliza +still more slender? Could I rely upon the permanence of her equanimity +and her docility to my instructions? What qualities might not time +unfold, and how little was I qualified to estimate the character of one +whom no vicissitude or hardship had approached before the death of her +father,--whose ignorance was, indeed, great, when it could justly be +said even to exceed my own! + +Should I mix with the world, enroll myself in different classes of +society, be a witness to new scenes; might not my modes of judging +undergo essential variations? Might I not gain the knowledge of beings +whose virtue was the gift of experience and the growth of knowledge? who +joined to the modesty and charms of woman the benefits of education, the +maturity and steadfastness of age, and with whose character and +sentiments my own would be much more congenial than they could possibly +be with the extreme youth, rustic simplicity, and mental imperfections +of Eliza Hadwin? + +To say truth, I was now conscious of a revolution in my mind. I can +scarcely assign its true cause. No tokens of it appeared during my late +retreat to Malverton. Subsequent incidents, perhaps, joined with the +influence of meditation, had generated new views. On my first visit to +the city, I had met with nothing but scenes of folly, depravity, and +cunning. No wonder that the images connected with the city were +disastrous and gloomy; but my second visit produced somewhat different +impressions. Maravegli, Estwick, Medlicote, and you, were beings who +inspired veneration and love. Your residence appeared to beautify and +consecrate this spot, and gave birth to an opinion that, if cities are +the chosen seats of misery and vice, they are likewise the soil of all +the laudable and strenuous productions of mind. + +My curiosity and thirst of knowledge had likewise received a new +direction. Books and inanimate nature were cold and lifeless +instructors. Men, and the works of men, were the objects of rational +study, and our own eyes only could communicate just conceptions of human +performances. The influence of manners, professions, and social +institutions, could be thoroughly known only by direct inspection. + +Competence, fixed property and a settled abode, rural occupations and +conjugal pleasures, were justly to be prized; but their value could be +known and their benefits fully enjoyed only by those who have tried all +scenes; who have mixed with all classes and ranks; who have partaken of +all conditions; and who have visited different hemispheres and climates +and nations. The next five or eight years of my life should be devoted +to activity and change; it should be a period of hardship, danger, and +privation; it should be my apprenticeship to fortitude and wisdom, and +be employed to fit me for the tranquil pleasures and steadfast exertions +of the remainder of my life. + +In consequence of these reflections, I determined to suppress that +tenderness which the company of Miss Hadwin produced, to remove any +mistakes into which she had fallen, and to put it out of my power to +claim for her more than the dues of friendship. All ambiguities, in a +case like this, and all delays, were hurtful. She was not exempt from +passion, but this passion, I thought, was young, and easily +extinguished. + +In a short time her health was restored, and her grief melted down into +a tender melancholy. I chose a suitable moment, when not embarrassed by +the presence of others, to reveal my thoughts. My disclosure was +ingenuous and perfect. I laid before her the whole train of my thoughts, +nearly in the order, though in different and more copious terms than +those, in which I have just explained them to you. I concealed nothing. +The impression which her artless loveliness had made upon me at +Malverton; my motives for estranging myself from her society; the nature +of my present feelings with regard to her, and my belief of the state of +her heart; the reasonings into which I had entered; the advantages of +wedlock and its inconveniences; and, finally, the resolution I had +formed of seeking the city, and, perhaps, of crossing the ocean, were +minutely detailed. + +She interrupted me not, but changing looks, blushes, flutterings, and +sighs, showed her to be deeply and variously affected by my discourse. I +paused for some observation or comment. She seemed conscious of my +expectation, but had no power to speak. Overpowered, at length, by her +emotions, she burst into tears. + +I was at a loss in what manner to construe these symptoms. I waited till +her vehemence was somewhat subsided, and then said, "What think you of +my schemes? Your approbation is of some moment: do you approve of them +or not?" + +This question excited some little resentment, and she answered, "You +have left me nothing to say. Go, and be happy; no matter what becomes of +me. I hope I shall be able to take care of myself." + +The tone in which this was said had something in it of upbraiding. "Your +happiness," said I, "is too dear to me to leave it in danger. In this +house you will not need my protection, but I shall never be so far from +you as to be disabled from hearing how you fare, by letter, and of being +active for your good. You have some money, which you must husband well. +Any rent from your farm cannot be soon expected; but what you have got, +if you remain with Mr. Curling, will pay your board and all other +expenses for two years; but you must be a good economist. I shall +expect," continued I, with a serious smile, "a punctual account of all +your sayings and doings. I must know how every minute is employed and +every penny is expended, and, if I find you erring, I must tell you so +in good round terms." + +These words did not dissipate the sullenness which her looks had +betrayed. She still forbore to look at me, and said, "I do not know how +I should tell you every thing. You care so little about me that--I +should only be troublesome. I am old enough to think and act for myself, +and shall advise with nobody but myself." + +"That is true," said I. "I shall rejoice to see you independent and +free. Consult your own understanding, and act according to its dictates. +Nothing more is wanting to make you useful and happy. I am anxious to +return to the city, but, if you will allow me, will go first to +Malverton, see that things are in due order, and that old Caleb is well. +From thence, if you please, I will call at your uncle's, and tell him +what has happened. He may, otherwise, entertain pretensions and form +views erroneous in themselves and injurious to you. He may think himself +entitled to manage your estate. He may either suppose a will to have +been made, or may actually have heard from your father, or from others, +of that which you burnt, and in which he was named executor. His +boisterous and sordid temper may prompt him to seize your house and +goods, unless seasonably apprized of the truth; and, when he knows the +truth, he may start into rage, which I shall be more fitted to encounter +than you. I am told that anger transforms him into a ferocious madman. +Shall I call upon him?" + +She shuddered at the picture which I had drawn of her uncle's character; +but this emotion quickly gave place to self-upbraiding for the manner in +which she had repelled my proffers of service. She melted once more into +tears, and exclaimed,-- + +"I am not worthy of the pains you take for me. I am unfeeling and +ungrateful. Why should I think ill of you for despising me, when I +despise myself?" + +"You do yourself injustice, my friend. I think I see your most secret +thoughts; and these, instead of exciting anger or contempt, only awaken +compassion and tenderness. You love; and must, therefore, conceive my +conduct to be perverse and cruel. I counted on your harbouring such +thoughts. Time only and reflection will enable you to see my motives in +their true light. Hereafter you will recollect my words, and find them +sufficient to justify my conduct. You will acknowledge the propriety of +my engaging in the cares of the world before I sit down in retirement +and ease." + +"Ah! how much you mistake me! I admire and approve of your schemes. What +angers and distresses me is, that you think me unworthy to partake of +your cares and labours; that you regard my company as an obstacle and +encumbrance; that assistance and counsel must all proceed from you; and +that no scene is fit for me, but what you regard as slothful and +inglorious. + +"Have I not the same claims to be wise, and active, and courageous, as +you? If I am ignorant and weak, do I not owe it to the same cause that +has made you so? and will not the same means which promote your +improvement be likewise useful to me? You desire to obtain knowledge, by +travelling and conversing with many persons, and studying many sciences; +but you desire it for yourself alone. Me you think poor, weak, and +contemptible; fit for nothing but to spin and churn. Provided I exist, +am screened from the weather, have enough to eat and drink, you are +satisfied. As to strengthening my mind and enlarging my knowledge, these +things are valuable to you, but on me they are thrown away. I deserve +not the gift." + +This strain, simple and just as it was, was wholly unexpected. I was +surprised and disconcerted. In my previous reasonings I had certainly +considered her sex as utterly unfitting her for those scenes and +pursuits to which I had destined myself. Not a doubt of the validity of +my conclusion had insinuated itself; but now my belief was shaken, +though it was not subverted. I could not deny that human ignorance was +curable by the same means in one sex as in the other; that fortitude +and skill were of no less value to one than to the other. + +Questionless, my friend was rendered, by her age and inexperience, if +not by sex, more helpless and dependent than I; but had I not been prone +to overrate the difficulties which I should encounter? Had I not deemed +unjustly of her constancy and force of mind? Marriage would render her +property joint, and would not compel me to take up my abode in the +woods, to abide forever in one spot, to shackle my curiosity, or limit +my excursions. + +But marriage was a contract awful and irrevocable. Was this the woman +with whom my reason enjoined me to blend my fate, without the power of +dissolution? Would not time unfold qualities in her which I did not at +present suspect, and which would evince an incurable difference in our +minds? Would not time lead me to the feet of one who more nearly +approached that standard of ideal excellence which poets and romancers +had exhibited to my view? + +These considerations were powerful and delicate. I knew not in what +terms to state them to my companion, so as to preclude the imputation of +arrogance or indecorum. It became me, however, to be explicit, and to +excite her resentment rather than mislead her judgment. She collected my +meaning from a few words, and, interrupting me, said,-- + +"How very low is the poor Eliza in your opinion! We are, indeed, both +too young to be married. May I not see you, and talk with you, without +being your wife? May I not share your knowledge, relieve your cares, and +enjoy your confidence, as a sister might do? May I not accompany you in +your journeys and studies, as one friend accompanies another? My +property may be yours; you may employ it for your benefit and mine; not +because you are my husband, but my friend. You are going to the city. +Let me go along with you. Let me live where you live. The house that is +large enough to hold you will hold me. The fare that is good enough for +you will be luxury to me. Oh! let it be so, will you? + +"You cannot think how studious, how thoughtful, how inquisitive, I will +be. How tenderly I will nurse you when sick! it is possible you may be +sick, you know, and, no one in the world will be half so watchful and +affectionate as I shall be. Will you let me?" + +In saying this, her earnestness gave new pathos to her voice. Insensibly +she put her face close to mine, and, transported beyond the usual bounds +of reserve by the charms of that picture which her fancy contemplated, +she put her lips to my cheek, and repeated, in a melting accent, "Will +you let me?" + +You, my friends, who have not seen Eliza Hadwin, cannot conceive what +effect this entreaty was adapted to produce in me. She has surely the +sweetest voice, the most speaking features, and most delicate symmetry, +that ever woman possessed. Her guileless simplicity and tenderness made +her more enchanting. To be the object of devotion to a heart so fervent +and pure was, surely, no common privilege. Thus did she tender me +herself; and was not the gift to be received with eagerness and +gratitude? + +No. I was not so much a stranger to mankind as to acquiesce in this +scheme. As my sister or my wife, the world would suffer us to reside +under the same roof; to apply to common use the same property; and daily +to enjoy the company of each other; but she was not my sister, and +marriage would be an act of the grossest indiscretion. I explained to +her, in few words, the objections to which her project was liable. + +"Well, then," said she, "let me live in the next house, in the +neighbourhood, or, at least, in the same city. Let me be where I may see +you once a day, or once a week, or once a month. Shut me not wholly from +your society, and the means of becoming, in time, less ignorant and +foolish than I now am." + +After a pause, I replied, "I love you too well not to comply with this +request. Perhaps the city will be as suitable a residence as any other +for you, as it will, for some time, be most convenient to me. I shall be +better able to watch over your welfare, and supply you with the means of +improvement, when you are within a small distance. At present, you must +consent to remain here, while I visit your uncle, and afterwards go to +the city. I shall look out for you a suitable lodging, and inform you +when it is found. If you then continue in the same mind, I will come, +and, having gained the approbation of Mr. Curling, will conduct you to +town." Here ended our dialogue. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIII. + + +Though I had consented to this scheme, I was conscious that some hazards +attended it. I was afraid of calumny, which might trouble the peace or +destroy the reputation of my friend. I was afraid of my own weakness, +which might be seduced into an indiscreet marriage by the charms or +sufferings of this bewitching creature. I felt that there was no price +too dear to save her from slander. A fair fame is of the highest +importance to a young female, and the loss of it but poorly supplied by +the testimony of her own conscience. I had reason for tenfold solicitude +on this account, since I was her only protector and friend. Hence, I +cherished some hopes that time might change her views, and suggest less +dangerous schemes. Meanwhile, I was to lose no time in visiting +Malverton and Philip Hadwin. + +About ten days had elapsed since we had deserted Malverton. These were +days of successive storms, and travelling had been rendered +inconvenient. The weather was now calm and clear, and, early in the +morning that ensued the dialogue which I have just related, I set out on +horseback. + +Honest Caleb was found eating his breakfast nearly in the spot where he +had been first discovered. He answered my inquiries by saying, that, two +days after our departure, several men had come to the house, one of whom +was Philip Hadwin. They had interrogated him as to the condition of the +farm, and the purpose of his remaining on it. William Hadwin they knew +to have been some time dead; but where were the girls, his daughters? + +Caleb answered that Susy, the eldest, was likewise dead. + +These tidings excited astonishment. When died she, and how, and where +was she buried? + +It happened two days before, and she was buried, he believed, but could +not tell where. + +Not tell where? By whom, then, was she buried? + +Really, he could not tell. Some strange man came there just as she was +dying. He went to the room, and, when she was dead, took her away, but +what he did with the body was more than he could say, but he had a +notion that he buried it. The man stayed till the morning, and then went +off with Lizzy, leaving him to keep house by himself. He had not seen +either of them, nor, indeed, a single soul since. + +This was all the information that Caleb could afford the visitants. It +was so lame and incredible that they began to charge the man with +falsehood, and to threaten him with legal animadversion. Just then Mr. +Ellis entered the house, and, being made acquainted with the subject of +discourse, told all that he himself knew. He related the midnight visit +which I had paid him, explained my former situation in the family, and +my disappearance in September. He stated the advice he had given me to +carry Eliza to her uncle's, and my promise to comply with his counsel. +The uncle declared he had seen nothing of his niece, and Caleb added, +that, when she set out, she took the road that led to town. + +These hints afforded grounds for much conjecture and suspicion. Ellis +now mentioned some intelligence that he had gathered respecting me in a +late journey to ----. It seems I was the son of an honest farmer in that +quarter, who married a tidy girl of a milkmaid that lived with him. My +father had detected me in making some atrocious advances to my +mother-in-law, and had turned me out of doors. I did not go off, +however, without rifling his drawer of some hundreds of dollars, which +he had laid up against a rainy day. I was noted for such pranks, and was +hated by all the neighbours for my pride and laziness. It was easy, by +comparison of circumstances, for Ellis to ascertain that Hadwin's +servant Mervyn was the same against whom such heavy charges were laid. + +Previously to this journey, he had heard of me from Hadwin, who was loud +in praise of my diligence, sobriety, and modesty. For his part, he had +always been cautious of giving countenance to vagrants that came from +nobody knew where, and worked their way with a plausible tongue. He was +not surprised to hear it whispered that Betsy Hadwin had fallen in love +with the youth, and now, no doubt, he had persuaded her to run away with +him. The heiress of a fine farm was a prize not to be met with every +day. + +Philip broke into rage at this news; swore that if it turned out so, his +niece should starve upon the town, and that he would take good care to +balk the lad. His brother he well knew had left a will, to which he was +executor, and that this will would in good time be forthcoming. After +much talk and ransacking the house, and swearing at his truant niece, he +and his company departed, charging Caleb to keep the house and its +contents for his use. This was all that Caleb's memory had retained of +that day's proceedings. + +Curling had lately commented on the character of Philip Hadwin. This man +was totally unlike his brother, was a noted brawler and bully, a tyrant +to his children, a plague to his neighbours, and kept a rendezvous for +drunkards and idlers, at the sign of the Bull's Head, at ----. He was +not destitute of parts, and was no less dreaded for cunning than +malignity. He was covetous, and never missed an opportunity of +overreaching his neighbour. There was no doubt that his niece's property +would be embezzled should it ever come into his hands, and any power +which he might obtain over her person would be exercised to her +destruction. His children were tainted with the dissoluteness of their +father, and marriage had not repaired the reputation of his daughters, +or cured them of depravity: this was the man whom I now proposed to +visit. + +I scarcely need to say that the calumny of Betty Lawrence gave me no +uneasiness. My father had no doubt been deceived, as well as my father's +neighbours, by the artifices of this woman. I passed among them for a +thief and a profligate, but their error had hitherto been harmless to +me. The time might come which should confute the tale without my +efforts. Betty, sooner or later, would drop her mask, and afford the +antidote to her own poisons, unless some new incident should occur to +make me hasten the catastrophe. + +I arrived at Hadwin's house. I was received with some attention as a +guest. I looked, among the pimpled visages that filled the piazza, for +that of the landlord, but found him in an inner apartment with two or +three more seated round a table. On intimating my wish to speak with him +alone, the others withdrew. + +Hadwin's visage had some traces of resemblance to his brother; but the +meek, placid air, pale cheeks, and slender form of the latter were +powerfully contrasted with the bloated arrogance, imperious brow, and +robust limbs of the former. This man's rage was awakened by a straw; it +impelled him in an instant to oaths and buffetings, and made his life an +eternal brawl. The sooner my interview with such a personage should be +at an end, the better. I therefore explained the purpose of my coming as +fully and in as few words as possible. + +"Your name, sir, is Philip Hadwin. Your brother William, of Malverton, +died lately and left two daughters. The youngest only is now alive, and +I come, commissioned from her, to inform you that, as no will of her +father's is extant, she is preparing to administer to his estate. As her +father's brother, she thought you entitled to this information." + +The change which took place in the countenance of this man, during this +address, was remarkable, but not easily described. His cheeks contracted +a deeper crimson, his eyes sparkled, and his face assumed an expression +in which curiosity was mingled with rage. He bent forward, and said, in +a hoarse and contemptuous tone, "Pray, is your name Mervyn?" + +I answered, without hesitation, and as if the question were wholly +unimportant, "Yes; my name is Mervyn." + +"God damn it! You then are the damned rascal"--(but permit me to repeat +his speech without the oaths with which it was plentifully interlarded. +Not three words were uttered without being garnished with a--"God damn +it!" "damnation!" "I'll be damned to hell if"--and the like energetic +expletives.) "You then are the rascal that robbed Billy's house; that +ran away with the fool his daughter; persuaded her to burn her father's +will, and have the hellish impudence to come into this house! But I +thank you for it. I was going to look for you; you've saved me trouble. +I'll settle all accounts with you here. Fair and softly, my good lad! If +I don't bring you to the gallows--If I let you escape without such a +dressing! Damned impudence! Fellow! I've been at Malverton. I've heard +of your tricks. So! finding the will not quite to your mind, knowing +that the executor would balk your schemes, you threw the will into the +fire; you robbed the house of all the cash, and made off with the +girl!--The old fellow saw it all, and will swear to the truth." + +These words created some surprise. I meant not to conceal from this man +the tenor and destruction of the will, nor even the measures which his +niece had taken or intended to take. What I supposed to be unknown to +him appeared to have been communicated by the talkative Caleb, whose +mind was more inquisitive and less sluggish than first appearances had +led me to imagine. Instead of moping by the kitchen-fire when Eliza and +I were conversing in an upper room, it now appeared that he had +reconnoitred our proceedings through some keyhole or crevice, and had +related what he had seen to Hadwin. + +Hadwin proceeded to exhaust his rage in oaths and menaces. He frequently +clenched his fist and thrust it in my face, drew it back as if to render +his blow more deadly; ran over the same series of exclamations on my +impudence and villany, and talked of the gallows and the whipping-post; +enforced each word by the epithets _damnable_ and _hellish_; closed each +sentence with--"and be curst to you!" + +There was but one mode for me to pursue; all forcible opposition to a +man of his strength was absurd. It was my province to make his anger +confine itself to words, and patiently to wait till the paroxysm should +end or subside of itself. To effect this purpose, I kept my seat, and +carefully excluded from my countenance every indication of timidity and +panic on the one hand, and of scorn and defiance on the other. My look +and attitude were those of a man who expected harsh words, but who +entertained no suspicion that blows would be inflicted. + +I was indebted for my safety to an inflexible adherence to this medium. +To have strayed, for a moment, to either side, would have brought upon +me his blows. That he did not instantly resort to violence inspired me +with courage, since it depended on myself whether food should be +supplied to his passion. Rage must either progress or decline; and, +since it was in total want of provocation, it could not fail of +gradually subsiding. + +My demeanour was calculated to damp the flame, not only by its direct +influence, but by diverting his attention from the wrongs which he had +received, to the novelty of my behaviour. The disparity in size and +strength between us was too evident to make him believe that I confided +in my sinews for my defence; and, since I betrayed neither contempt nor +fear, he could not but conclude that I trusted to my own integrity or to +his moderation. I seized the first pause in his rhetoric to enforce this +sentiment. + +"You are angry, Mr. Hadwin, and are loud in your threats; but they do +not frighten me. They excite no apprehension or alarm, because I know +myself able to convince you that I have not injured you. This is an inn, +and I am your guest. I am sure I shall find better entertainment than +blows. Come," continued I, smiling, "it is possible that I am not so +mischievous a wretch as your fancy paints me. I have no claims upon your +niece but that of friendship, and she is now in the house of an honest +man, Mr. Curling, where she proposes to continue as long as is +convenient. + +"It is true that your brother left a will, which his daughter burnt in +my presence, because she dreaded the authority which that will gave you, +not only over her property, but person. It is true that on leaving the +house she took away the money which was now her own, and which was +necessary to subsistence. It is true that I bore her company, and have +left her in an honest man's keeping. I am answerable for nothing more. +As to you, I meant not to injure you; I advised not the burning of the +will. I was a stranger, till after that event, to your character. I knew +neither good nor ill of you. I came to tell you all this, because, as +Eliza's uncle, you had a right to the information." + +"So! you come to tell me that she burnt the will, and is going to +administer--to what, I beseech you? To her father's property? Ay, I +warrant you. But take this along with you:--that property is mine; land, +house, stock, every thing. All is safe and snug under cover of a +mortgage, to which Billy was kind enough to add a bond. One was sued, +and the other _entered up_, a week ago. So that all is safe under my +thumb, and the girl may whistle or starve for me. I shall give myself no +concern about the strumpet. You thought to get a prize; but, damn me, +you've met with your match in me. Phil Haddin's not so easily choused, I +promise you. I intended to give you this news, and a drubbing into the +bargain; but you may go, and make haste. She burnt the will, did she, +because I was named in it,--and sent you to tell me so? Good souls! It +was kind of you, and I am bound to be thankful. Take her back news of +the mortgage; and, as for you, leave my house. You may go scot-free this +time; but I pledge my word for a sound beating when you next enter these +doors. I'll pay it to you with interest. Leave my house, I say!" + +"A mortgage," said I, in a low voice, and affecting not to hear his +commands; "that will be sad news for my friend. Why, sir, you are a +fortunate man. Malverton is an excellent spot; well watered and manured; +newly and completely fenced; not a larger barn in the county; oxen and +horses and cows in the best order; I never set eyes on a finer orchard. +By my faith, sir, you are a fortunate man. But, pray, what have you for +dinner? I am hungry as a wolf. Order me a beef-steak, and some potation +or other. The bottle there,--it is cider, I take it; pray, push it to +this side." Saying this, I stretched out my hand towards the bottle +which stood before him. + +I confided in the power of a fearless and sedate manner. Methought +that, as anger was the food of anger, it must unavoidably subside in a +contest with equability. This opinion was intuitive, rather than the +product of experience, and perhaps I gave no proof of my sagacity in +hazarding my safety on its truth. Hadwin's character made him dreaded +and obeyed by all. He had been accustomed to ready and tremulous +submission from men far more brawny and robust than I was, and to find +his most vehement menaces and gestures totally ineffectual on a being so +slender and diminutive at once wound up his rage and excited his +astonishment. One motion counteracted and suspended the other. He lifted +his hand, but delayed to strike. One blow, applied with his usual +dexterity, was sufficient to destroy me. Though seemingly careless, I +was watchful of his motions, and prepared to elude the stroke by +shrinking or stooping. Meanwhile, I stretched my hand far enough to +seize the bottle, and, pouring its contents into a tumbler, put it to my +lips:-- + +"Come, sir, I drink your health, and wish you speedy possession of +Malverton. I have some interest with Eliza, and will prevail on her to +forbear all opposition and complaint. Why should she complain? While I +live, she shall not be a beggar. No doubt your claim is legal, and +therefore ought to be admitted. What the law gave, the law has taken +away. Blessed be the dispensers of law! Excellent cider! open another +bottle, will you, and, I beseech, hasten dinner, if you would not see me +devour the table." + +It was just, perhaps, to conjure up the demon avarice to fight with the +demon anger. Reason alone would, in such a contest, be powerless, but, +in truth, I spoke without artifice or disguise. If his claim were legal, +opposition would be absurd and pernicious. I meant not to rely upon his +own assertions, and would not acknowledge the validity of his claim till +I had inspected the deed. Having instituted suits, this was now in a +public office, and there the inspection should be made. Meanwhile, no +reason could be urged why I should part from him in anger, while his +kindred to Eliza, and his title to her property, made it useful to +secure his favour. It was possible to obtain a remission of his claims, +even when the law enforced them; it would be imprudent at least to +diminish the chances of remission by fostering his wrath and provoking +his enmity. + +"What!" he exclaimed, in a transport of fury, "a'n't I master of my own +house? Out, I say!" + +These were harsh terms, but they were not accompanied by gestures and +tones so menacing as those which had before been used. It was plain that +the tide, which so lately threatened my destruction, had begun to +recede. This encouraged me to persist. + +"Be not alarmed, my good friend," said I, placidly and smiling. "A man +of your bone need not fear a pigmy like me. I shall scarcely be able to +dethrone you in your own castle, with an army of hostlers, tapsters, and +cooks at your beck. You shall still be master here, provided you use +your influence to procure me a dinner." + +His acquiescence in a pacific system was extremely reluctant and +gradual. He laid aside one sullen tone and wrathful look after the +other; and, at length, consented not only to supply me with a dinner, +but to partake of it with me. Nothing was more a topic of surprise to +himself than his forbearance. He knew not how it was. He had never been +treated so before. He was not proof against entreaty and submission; but +I had neither supplicated nor submitted. The stuff that I was made of +was at once damnably tough and devilishly pliant. When he thought of my +impudence, in staying in his house after he had bade me leave it, he was +tempted to resume his passion. When he reflected on my courage, in +making light of his anger, notwithstanding his known impetuosity and my +personal inferiority, he could not withhold his esteem. But my patience +under his rebukes, my unalterable equanimity, and my ready consent to +the validity of his claims, soothed and propitiated him. + +An exemption from blows and abuse was all that I could gain from this +man. I told him the truth, with regard to my own history, so far as it +was connected with the Hadwins. I exhibited, in affecting colours, the +helpless condition of Eliza; but could extort from him nothing but his +consent that, if she chose, she might come and live with him. He would +give her victuals and clothes for so much house-work as she was able to +do. If she chose to live elsewhere, he promised not to molest her, or +intermeddle in her concerns. The house and land were his by law, and he +would have them. + +It was not my province to revile or expostulate with him. I stated what +measures would be adopted by a man who regarded the interest of others +more than his own; who was anxious for the welfare of an innocent girl, +connected with him so closely by the ties of kindred, and who was +destitute of what is called natural friends. If he did not cancel, for +her sake, his bond and mortgage, he would, at least, afford her a frugal +maintenance. He would extend to her, in all emergencies, his counsel and +protection. + +All that, he said, was sheer nonsense. He could not sufficiently wonder +at my folly, in proposing to him to make a free gift of a hundred rich +acres, to a girl too who scarcely knew her right hand from her left; +whom the first cunning young rogue like myself would _chouse_ out of the +whole, and take herself into the bargain. But my folly was even +surpassed by my impudence, since, as the _friend_ of this girl, I was +merely petitioning on my own account. I had come to him, whom I never +saw before, on whom I had no claim, and who, as I well knew, had reason +to think me a sharper, and modestly said, "Here's a girl who has no +fortune. I am greatly in want of one. Pray, give her such an estate that +you have in your possession. If you do, I'll marry her, and take it into +my own hands." I might be thankful that he did not answer such a +petition with a horse-whipping. But if he did not give her his estate, +he might extend to her, forsooth, his counsel and protection. "That I've +offered to do," continued he. "She may come and live in my house, if she +will. She may do some of the family work. I'll discharge the chambermaid +to make room for her. Lizzy, if I remember right, has a pretty face. She +can't have a better market for it than as chambermaid to an inn. If she +minds her p's and q's she may make up a handsome sum at the year's end." + +I thought it time to break off the conference; and, my dinner being +finished, took my leave, leaving behind me the character of _a queer +sort of chap_. I speeded to the prothonotary's office, which was kept in +the village, and quickly ascertained the truth of Hadwin's pretensions. +There existed a mortgage, with bond and warrant of attorney, to so great +an amount as would swallow up every thing at Malverton. Furnished with +these tidings, I prepared, with a drooping heart, to return to Mr. +Curling's. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIV. + + +This incident necessarily produced a change in my views with regard to +my friend. Her fortune consisted of a few hundreds of dollars, which, +frugally administered, might procure decent accommodation in the +country. When this was consumed, she must find subsistence in tending +the big wheel or the milk-pail, unless fortune should enable me to place +her in a more favourable situation. This state was, in some respects, +but little different from that in which she had spent the former part of +her life; but, in her father's house, these employments were dignified +by being, in some degree, voluntary, and relieved by frequent intervals +of recreation and leisure. Now they were likely to prove irksome and +servile, in consequence of being performed for hire and imposed by +necessity. Equality, parental solicitudes, and sisterly endearments, +would be wanting to lighten the yoke. + +These inconveniences, however, were imaginary. This was the school in +which fortitude and independence were to be learned. Habit, and the +purity of rural manners, would, likewise, create anew those ties which +death had dissolved. The affections of parent and sister would be +supplied by the fonder and more rational attachments of friendship. +These toils were not detrimental to beauty or health. What was to be +dreaded from them was their tendency to quench the spirit of liberal +curiosity; to habituate the person to bodily, rather than intellectual, +exertions; to supersede and create indifference or aversion to the only +instruments of rational improvement, the pen and the book. + +This evil, however, was at some distance from Eliza. Her present abode +was quiet and serene. Here she might enjoy domestic pleasures and +opportunities of mental improvement for the coming twelvemonth at least. +This period would, perhaps, be sufficient for the formation of studious +habits. What schemes should be adopted for this end would be determined +by the destiny to which I myself should be reserved. + +My path was already chalked out, and my fancy now pursued it with +uncommon pleasure. To reside in your family; to study your profession; +to pursue some subordinate or casual mode of industry, by which I might +purchase leisure for medical pursuits, for social recreations, and for +the study of mankind on your busy and thronged stage, was the scope of +my wishes. This destiny would not hinder punctual correspondence and +occasional visits to Eliza. Her pen might be called into action, and her +mind be awakened by books, and every hour be made to add to her stores +of knowledge and enlarge the bounds of her capacity. + +I was spiritless and gloomy when I left ----; but reflections on my +future lot, and just views of the situation of my friend, insensibly +restored my cheerfulness. I arrived at Mr. Curling's in the evening, and +hastened to impart to Eliza the issue of my commission. It gave her +uneasiness, merely as it frustrated the design, on which she had fondly +mused, of residing in the city. She was somewhat consoled by my promises +of being her constant correspondent and occasional visitor. + +Next morning I set out on my journey hither, on foot. The way was not +long; the weather, though cold, was wholesome and serene. My spirits +were high, and I saw nothing in the world before me but sunshine and +prosperity. I was conscious that my happiness depended not on the +revolutions of nature or the caprice of man. All without was, indeed, +vicissitude and uncertainty; but within my bosom was a centre not to be +shaken or removed. My purposes were honest and steadfast. Every sense +was the inlet of pleasure, because it was the avenue of knowledge; and +my soul brooded over the world to ideas, and glowed with exultation at +the grandeur and beauty of its own creations. + +This felicity was too rapturous to be of long duration. I gradually +descended from these heights; and the remembrance of past incidents, +connected with the images of your family, to which I was returning, led +my thoughts into a different channel. Welbeck and the unhappy girl whom +he had betrayed; Mrs. Villars and Wallace, were recollected anew. The +views which I had formed, for determining the fate and affording +assistance to Clemenza, were recalled. My former resolutions with regard +to her had been suspended by the uncertainty in which the fate of the +Hadwins was, at that time, wrapped. Had it not become necessary wholly +to lay aside these resolutions? + +That, indeed, was an irksome conclusion. No wonder that I struggled to +repel it; that I fostered the doubt whether money was the only +instrument of benefit; whether caution, and fortitude, and knowledge, +were not the genuine preservatives from evil. Had I not the means in my +hands of dispelling her fatal ignorance of Welbeck and of those with +whom she resided? Was I not authorized, by my previous though slender +intercourse, to seek her presence? + +Suppose I should enter Mrs. Villars's house, desire to be introduced to +the lady, accost her with affectionate simplicity, and tell her the +truth? Why be anxious to smooth the way? why deal in apologies, +circuities, and innuendoes? All these are feeble and perverse +refinements, unworthy of an honest purpose and an erect spirit. To +believe her inaccessible to my visit was absurd. To wait for the +permission of those whose interest it might be to shut out visitants was +cowardice. This was an infringement of her liberty which equity and law +equally condemned. By what right could she be restrained from +intercourse with others? Doors and passages may be between her and me. +With a purpose such as mine, no one had a right to close the one or +obstruct the other. Away with cowardly reluctances and clownish +scruples, and let me hasten this moment to her dwelling. + +Mrs. Villars is the portress of the mansion. She will probably present +herself before me, and demand the reason of my visit. What shall I say +to her? The truth. To falter, or equivocate, or dissemble to this woman +would be wicked. Perhaps her character has been misunderstood and +maligned. Can I render her a greater service than to apprize her of the +aspersions that have rested on it, and afford her the opportunity of +vindication? Perhaps she is indeed selfish and profligate; the betrayer +of youth and the agent of lasciviousness. Does she not deserve to know +the extent of her errors and the ignominy of her trade? Does she not +merit the compassion of the good and the rebukes of the wise? To shrink +from the task would prove me cowardly and unfirm. Thus far, at least, +let my courage extend. + +Alas! Clemenza is unacquainted with my language. My thoughts cannot make +themselves apparent but by words, and to my words she will be able to +affix no meaning. Yet is not that a hasty decision? The version from the +dramas of Zeno which I found in her toilet was probably hers, and proves +her to have a speculative knowledge of our tongue. Near half a year has +since elapsed, during which she has dwelt with talkers of English, and +consequently could not fail to have acquired it. This conclusion is +somewhat dubious, but experiment will give it certainty. + +Hitherto I had strolled along the path at a lingering pace. Time enough, +methought, to reach your threshold between sunrise and moonlight, if my +way had been three times longer than it was. You were the pleasing +phantom that hovered before me and beckoned me forward. What a total +revolution had occurred in the course of a few seconds! for thus long +did my reasonings with regard to Clemenza and the Villars require to +pass through my understanding, and escape, in half-muttered soliloquy, +from my lips. My muscles trembled with eagerness, and I bounded forward +with impetuosity. I saw nothing but a vista of catalpas, leafless, +loaded with icicles, and terminating in four chimneys and a painted +roof. My fancy outstripped my footsteps, and was busy in picturing faces +and rehearsing dialogues. Presently I reached this new object of my +pursuit, darted through the avenue, noticed that some windows of the +house were unclosed, drew thence a hasty inference that the house was +not without inhabitants, and knocked, quickly and loudly, for admission. + +Some one within crept to the door, opened it with seeming caution, and +just far enough to allow the face to be seen. It was the timid, pale, +and unwashed face of a girl who was readily supposed to be a servant, +taken from a cottage, and turned into a bringer of wood and water and a +scourer of tubs and trenches. She waited in timorous silence the +delivery of my message. Was Mrs. Villars at home? + +"No; she has gone to town." + +Were any of her daughters within? + +She could not tell; she believed--she thought--which did I want? Miss +Hetty or Miss Sally? + +"Let me see Miss Hetty." Saying this, I pushed gently against the door. +The girl, half reluctant, yielded way; I entered the passage, and, +putting my hand on the lock of a door that seemed to lead into a +parlour,--"Is Miss Hetty in this room?" + +No; there was nobody there. + +"Go call her, then. Tell her there is one who wishes to see her on +important business. I will wait for her coming in this room." So saying, +I opened the door, and entered the apartment, while the girl withdrew to +perform my message. + +The parlour was spacious and expensively furnished, but an air of +negligence and disorder was everywhere visible. The carpet was wrinkled +and unswept; a clock on the table, in a glass frame, so streaked and +spotted with dust as scarcely to be transparent, and the index +motionless, and pointing at four instead of nine; embers scattered on +the marble hearth, and tongs lying on the fender with the handle in the +ashes; a harpsichord, uncovered, one end loaded with _scores_, tumbled +together in a heap, and the other with volumes of novels and plays, some +on their edges, some on their backs, gaping open by the scorching of +their covers; rent; blurred; stained; blotted; dog-eared; tables awry; +chairs crowding each other; in short, no object but indicated the +neglect or the ignorance of domestic neatness and economy. + +My leisure was employed in surveying these objects, and in listening +for the approach of Miss Hetty. Some minutes elapsed, and no one came. A +reason for delay was easily imagined, and I summoned patience to wait. I +opened a book; touched the instrument; surveyed the vases on the +mantel-tree; the figures on the hangings, and the print of Apollo and +the Sibyl, taken from Salvator, and hung over the chimney. I eyed my own +shape and garb in the mirror, and asked how my rustic appearance would +be regarded by that supercilious and voluptuous being to whom I was +about to present myself. + +Presently the latch of the door was softly moved: it opened, and the +simpleton, before described, appeared. She spoke, but her voice was so +full of hesitation, and so near a whisper, that much attention was +needed to make out her words:--Miss Hetty was not at home; she was gone +to town with her _mistress_. + +This was a tale not to be credited. How was I to act? She persisted in +maintaining the truth of it.--"Well, then," said I, at length, "tell +Miss Sally that I wish to speak with her. She will answer my purpose +just as well." + +Miss Sally was not at home neither. She had gone to town too. They would +not be back, she did not know when; not till night, she supposed. It was +so indeed; none of them wasn't at home; none but she and Nanny in the +kitchen: indeed there wasn't. + +"Go tell Nanny to come here; I will leave my message with her." She +withdrew, but Nanny did not receive the summons, or thought proper not +to obey it. All was vacant and still. + +My state was singular and critical. It was absurd to prolong it; but to +leave the house with my errand unexecuted would argue imbecility and +folly. To ascertain Clemenza's presence in this house, and to gain an +interview, were yet in my power. Had I not boasted of my intrepidity in +braving denials and commands when they endeavoured to obstruct my +passage to this woman? But here were no obstacles nor prohibition. +Suppose the girl had said truth, that the matron and her daughters were +absent, and that Nanny and herself were the only guardians of the +mansion. So much the better. My design will not be opposed. I have only +to mount the stair, and go from one room to another till I find what I +seek. + +There was hazard, as well as plausibility, in this scheme. I thought it +best once more to endeavour to extort information from the girl, and +persuade her to be my guide to whomsoever the house contained. I put my +hand to the bell and rung a brisk peal. No one came. I passed into the +entry, to the foot of a staircase, and to a back-window. Nobody was +within hearing or sight. + +Once more I reflected on the rectitude of my intentions, on the +possibility that the girl's assertions might be true, on the benefits of +expedition, and of gaining access to the object of my visit without +interruption or delay. To these considerations was added a sort of +charm, not easily explained, and by no means justifiable, produced by +the very temerity and hazardness accompanying this attempt. I thought, +with scornful emotions, on the bars and hinderances which pride, and +caprice, and delusive maxims of decorum, raise in the way of human +intercourse. I spurned at these semblances and substitutes of honesty, +and delighted to shake such fetters into air and trample such +impediments to dust. I wanted to see a human being, in order to promote +her happiness. It was doubtful whether she was within twenty paces of +the spot where I stood. The doubt was to be solved. How? By examining +the space. I forthwith proceeded to examine it. I reached the second +story. I approached a door that was closed. I knocked. After a pause, a +soft voice said, "Who is there?" + +The accents were as musical as those of Clemenza, but were in other +respects different. I had no topic to discuss with this person. I +answered not, yet hesitated to withdraw. Presently the same voice was +again heard:--"What is it you want? Why don't you answer? Come in!" I +complied with the command, and entered the room. + +It was deliberation and foresight that led me hither, and not chance or +caprice. Hence, instead of being disconcerted or vanquished by the +objects that I saw, I was tranquil and firm. My curiosity, however, made +me a vigilant observer. Two females, arrayed with voluptuous negligence, +in a manner adapted to the utmost seclusion, and seated in a careless +attitude on a sofa, were now discovered. + +Both darted glances at the door. One, who appeared to be the youngest, +no sooner saw me, than she shrieked, and, starting from her seat, +betrayed in the looks which she successively cast upon me, on herself, +and on the chamber, whose apparatus was in no less confusion than that +of the apartment below, her consciousness of the unseasonableness of +this meeting. + +The other shrieked likewise, but in her it seemed to be the token of +surprise rather than that of terror. There was, probably, somewhat in my +aspect and garb that suggested an apology for this intrusion, as arising +from simplicity and mistake. She thought proper, however, to assume the +air of one offended, and, looking sternly,--"How now, fellow," said she, +"what is this? Why come you hither?" + +This questioner was of mature age, but had not passed the period of +attractiveness and grace. All the beauty that nature had bestowed was +still retained, but the portion had never been great. What she possessed +was so modelled and embellished by such a carriage and dress as to give +it most power over the senses of the gazer. In proportion, however, as +it was intended and adapted to captivate those who know none but +physical pleasures, it was qualified to breed distaste and aversion in +me. + +I am sensible how much error may have lurked in this decision. I had +brought with me the belief of their being unchaste; and seized, perhaps +with too much avidity, any appearance that coincided with my +prepossessions. Yet the younger by no means inspired the same disgust; +though I had no reason to suppose her more unblemished than the elder. +Her modesty seemed unaffected, and was by no means satisfied, like that +of the elder, with defeating future curiosity. The consciousness of what +had already been exposed filled her with confusion, and she would have +flown away, if her companion had not detained her by some degree of +force. "What ails the girl? There's nothing to be frightened at. +Fellow!" she repeated, "what brings you here?" + +I advanced and stood before them. I looked steadfastly, but, I believe, +with neither effrontery nor anger, on the one who addressed me. I spoke +in a tone serious and emphatical. "I come for the sake of speaking to a +woman who formerly resided in this house, and probably resides here +still. Her name is Clemenza Lodi. If she be here, I request you to +conduct me to her instantly." + +Methought I perceived some inquietude, a less imperious and more +inquisitive air, in this woman, on hearing the name of Clemenza. It was +momentary, and gave way to peremptory looks. "What is your business with +her? And why did you adopt this mode of inquiry? A very extraordinary +intrusion! Be good enough to leave the chamber. Any questions proper to +be answered will be answered below." + +"I meant not to intrude or offend. It was not an idle or impertinent +motive that led me hither. I waited below for some time after soliciting +an audience of you through the servant. She assured me you were absent, +and laid me under the necessity of searching for Clemenza Lodi myself, +and without a guide. I am anxious to withdraw, and request merely to be +directed to the room which she occupies." + +"I direct you," replied she, in a more resolute tone, "to quit the room +and the house." + +"Impossible, madam," I replied, still looking at her earnestly; "leave +the house without seeing her! You might as well enjoin me to pull the +Andes on my head!--to walk barefoot to Pekin! Impossible!" + +Some solicitude was now mingled with her anger. "This is strange +insolence! unaccountable behaviour!--begone from my room! will you +compel me to call the gentlemen?" + +"Be not alarmed," said I, with augmented mildness. There was, indeed, +compassion and sorrow at my heart, and these must have somewhat +influenced my looks. "Be not alarmed. I came to confer a benefit, not to +perpetrate an injury. I came not to censure or expostulate with you, +but merely to counsel and aid a being that needs both; all I want is to +see her. In this chamber I sought not you, but her. Only lead me to her, +or tell me where she is. I will then rid you of my presence." + +"Will you compel me to call those who will punish this insolence as it +deserves?" + +"Dearest madam! I compel you to nothing. I merely supplicate. I would +ask you to lead me to these gentlemen, if I did not know that there are +none but females in the house. It is you who must receive and comply +with my petition. Allow me a moment's interview with Clemenza Lodi. +Compliance will harm you not, but will benefit her. What is your +objection?" + +"This is the strangest proceeding! the most singular conduct! Is this a +place fit to parley with you? I warn you of the consequence of staying a +moment longer. Depend upon it, you will sorely repent it." + +"You are obdurate," said I, and turned towards the younger, who listened +to this discourse in tremors and panic. I took her hand with an air of +humility and reverence. "Here," said I, "there seems to be purity, +innocence, and condescension. I took this house to be the temple of +voluptuousness. Females I expected to find in it, but such only as +traded in licentious pleasures; specious, perhaps not destitute of +talents, beauty, and address, but dissolute and wanton, sensual and +avaricious; yet in this countenance and carriage there are tokens of +virtue. I am born to be deceived, and the semblance of modesty is +readily assumed. Under this veil, perhaps, lurk a tainted heart and +depraved appetites. Is it so?" + +She made me no answer, but somewhat in her looks seemed to evince that +my favourable prepossessions were just. I noticed likewise that the +alarm of the elder was greatly increased by this address to her +companion. The thought suddenly occurred that this girl might be in +circumstances not unlike those of Clemenza Lodi; that she was not +apprized of the character of her associates, and might by this meeting +be rescued from similar evils. + +This suspicion filled me with tumultuous feelings. Clemenza was for a +time forgotten. I paid no attention to the looks or demeanour of the +elder, but was wholly occupied in gazing on the younger. My anxiety to +know the truth gave pathos and energy to my tones while I spoke:-- + +"Who, where, what are you? Do you reside in this house? Are you a sister +or daughter in this family, or merely a visitant? Do you know the +character, profession, and views of your companions? Do you deem them +virtuous, or know them to be profligate? Speak! tell me, I beseech you!" + +The maiden confusion which had just appeared in the countenance of this +person now somewhat abated. She lifted her eyes, and glanced by turns at +me and at her who sat by her side. An air of serious astonishment +overspread her features, and she seemed anxious for me to proceed. The +elder, meanwhile, betrayed the utmost alarm, again upbraided my +audacity, commanded me to withdraw, and admonished me of the danger I +incurred by lingering. + +I noticed not her interference, but again entreated to know of the +younger her true state. She had no time to answer me, supposing her not +to want the inclination, for every pause was filled by the clamorous +importunities and menaces of the other. I began to perceive that my +attempts were useless to this end, but the chief and most estimable +purpose was attainable. It was in my power to state the knowledge I +possessed, through your means, of Mrs. Villars and her daughters. This +information might be superfluous, since she to whom it was given might +be one of this licentious family. The contrary, however, was not +improbable, and my tidings, therefore, might be of the utmost moment to +her safety. + +A resolute and even impetuous manner reduced my incessant interrupter to +silence. What I had to say, I compressed in a few words, and adhered to +perspicuity and candour with the utmost care. I still held the hand that +I had taken, and fixed my eyes upon her countenance with a steadfastness +that hindered her from lifting her eyes. + +"I know you not; whether you be dissolute or chaste, I cannot tell. In +either case, however, what I am going to say will be useful. Let me +faithfully repeat what I have heard. It is mere rumour, and I vouch not +for its truth. Rumour as it is, I submit it to your judgment, and hope +that it may guide you into paths of innocence and honour. + +"Mrs. Villars and her three daughters are Englishwomen, who supported +for a time an unblemished reputation, but who, at length, were suspected +of carrying on the trade of prostitution. This secret could not be +concealed forever. The profligates who frequented their house betrayed +them. One of them, who died under their roof, after they had withdrawn +from it into the country, disclosed to his kinsman, who attended his +death-bed, their genuine character. + +"The dying man likewise related incidents in which I am deeply +concerned. I have been connected with one by name Welbeck. In his house +I met an unfortunate girl, who was afterwards removed to Mrs. Villars's. +Her name was Clemenza Lodi. Residence in this house, under the control +of a woman like Mrs. Villars and her daughters, must be injurious to her +innocence, and from this control I now come to rescue her." + +I turned to the elder, and continued,--"By all that is sacred, I adjure +you to tell me whether Clemenza Lodi be under this roof! If she be not, +whither has she gone? To know this I came hither, and any difficulty or +reluctance in answering will be useless; till an answer be obtained, I +will not go hence." + +During this speech, anger had been kindling in the bosom of this woman. +It now burst upon me in a torrent of opprobrious epithets. I was a +villain, a calumniator, a thief. I had lurked about the house, till +those whose sex and strength enabled them to cope with me had gone. I +had entered these doors by fraud. I was a wretch, guilty of the last +excesses of insolence and insult. + +To repel these reproaches, or endure them, was equally useless. The +satisfaction that I sought was only to be gained by searching the house. +I left the room without speaking. Did I act illegally in passing from +one story and one room to another? Did I really deserve the imputations +of rashness and insolence? My behaviour, I well know, was ambiguous and +hazardous, and perhaps wanting in discretion, but my motives were +unquestionably pure. I aimed at nothing but the rescue of a human +creature from distress and dishonour. + +I pretend not to the wisdom of experience and age; to the praise of +forethought or subtlety. I choose the obvious path, and pursue it with +headlong expedition. Good intentions, unaided by knowledge, will, +perhaps, produce more injury than benefit, and therefore knowledge must +be gained, but the acquisition is not momentary; is not bestowed unasked +and untoiled for. Meanwhile, we must not be inactive because we are +ignorant. Our good purposes must hurry to performance, whether our +knowledge be greater or less. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXV. + + +To explore the house in this manner was so contrary to ordinary rules, +that the design was probably wholly unsuspected by the women whom I had +just left. My silence, at parting, might have been ascribed by them to +the intimidating influence of invectives and threats. Hence I proceeded +in my search without interruption. + +Presently I reached a front chamber in the third story. The door was +ajar. I entered it on tiptoe. Sitting on a low chair by the fire, I +beheld a female figure, dressed in a negligent but not indecent manner. +Her face, in the posture in which she sat, was only half seen. Its hues +were sickly and pale, and in mournful unison with a feeble and emaciated +form. Her eyes were fixed upon a babe that lay stretched upon a pillow +at her feet. The child, like its mother, for such she was readily +imagined to be, was meagre and cadaverous. Either it was dead, or could +not be very distant from death. + +The features of Clemenza were easily recognised, though no contrast +could be greater, in habit and shape and complexion, than that which her +present bore to her former appearance. All her roses had faded, and her +brilliancies vanished. Still, however, there was somewhat fitted to +awaken the tenderest emotions. There were tokens of inconsolable +distress. + +Her attention was wholly absorbed by the child. She lifted not her eyes +till I came close to her and stood before her. When she discovered me, a +faint start was perceived. She looked at me for a moment, then, putting +one spread hand before her eyes, she stretched out the other towards the +door, and waving it in silence, as if to admonish me to depart. + +This motion, however emphatical, I could not obey. I wished to obtain +her attention, but knew not in what words to claim it. I was silent. In +a moment she removed her hand from her eyes, and looked at me with new +eagerness. Her features bespoke emotions which, perhaps, flowed from my +likeness to her brother, joined with the memory of my connection with +Welbeck. + +My situation was full of embarrassment. I was by no means certain that +my language would be understood. I knew not in what light the policy and +dissimulation of Welbeck might have taught her to regard me. What +proposal, conducive to her comfort and her safety, could I make to her? + +Once more she covered her eyes, and exclaimed, in a feeble voice, "Go +away! begone!" + +As if satisfied with this effort, she resumed her attention to her +child. She stooped and lifted it in her arms, gazing, meanwhile, on its +almost lifeless features with intense anxiety. She crushed it to her +bosom, and, again looking at me, repeated, "Go away! go away! begone!" + +There was somewhat in the lines of her face, in her tones and gestures, +that pierced to my heart. Added to this, was my knowledge of her +condition; her friendlessness; her poverty; the pangs of unrequited +love; and her expiring infant. I felt my utterance choked, and my tears +struggling for passage. I turned to the window, and endeavoured to +regain my tranquillity. + +"What was it," said I, "that brought me hither? The perfidy of Welbeck +must surely have long since been discovered. What can I tell her of the +Villars which she does not already know, or of which the knowledge will +be useful? If their treatment has been just, why should I detract from +their merit? If it has been otherwise, their own conduct will have +disclosed their genuine character. Though voluptuous themselves, it does +not follow that they have laboured to debase this creature. Though +wanton, they may not be inhuman. + +"I can propose no change in her condition for the better. Should she be +willing to leave this house, whither is it in my power to conduct her? +Oh that I were rich enough to provide food for the hungry, shelter for +the houseless, and raiment for the naked!" + +I was roused from these fruitless reflections by the lady, whom some +sudden thought induced to place the child in its bed, and, rising, to +come towards me. The utter dejection which her features lately betrayed +was now changed for an air of anxious curiosity. "Where," said she, in +her broken English,--"where is Signor Welbeck?" + +"Alas!" returned I, "I know not. That question might, I thought, with +more propriety be put to you than me." + +"I know where he be; I fear where he be." + +So saying, the deepest sighs burst from her heart. She turned from me, +and, going to the child, took it again into her lap. Its pale and sunken +cheek was quickly wet with the mother's tears, which, as she silently +hung over it, dropped fast from her eyes. + +This demeanour could not but awaken curiosity, while it gave a new turn +to my thoughts. I began to suspect that in the tokens which I saw there +was not only distress for her child, but concern for the fate of +Welbeck. "Know you," said I, "where Mr. Welbeck is? Is he alive? Is he +near? Is he in calamity?" + +"I do not know if he be alive. He be sick. He be in prison. They will +not let me go to him. And"--here her attention and mine was attracted by +the infant, whose frame, till now motionless, began to be tremulous. Its +features sunk into a more ghastly expression. Its breathings were +difficult, and every effort to respire produced a convulsion harder than +the last. + +The mother easily interpreted these tokens. The same mortal struggle +seemed to take place in her features as in those of her child. At length +her agony found way in a piercing shriek. The struggle in the infant was +past. Hope looked in vain for a new motion in its heart or its eyelids. +The lips were closed, and its breath was gone forever! + +The grief which overwhelmed the unhappy parent was of that outrageous +and desperate kind which is wholly incompatible with thinking. A few +incoherent motions and screams, that rent the soul, were followed by a +deep swoon. She sunk upon the floor, pale and lifeless as her babe. + +I need not describe the pangs which such a scene was adapted to produce +in me. These were rendered more acute by the helpless and ambiguous +situation in which I was placed. I was eager to bestow consolation and +succour, but was destitute of all means. I was plunged into +uncertainties and doubts. I gazed alternately at the infant and its +mother. I sighed. I wept. I even sobbed. I stooped down and took the +lifeless hand of the sufferer. I bathed it with my tears, and exclaimed, +"Ill-fated woman! unhappy mother! what shall I do for thy relief? How +shall I blunt the edge of this calamity, and rescue thee from new +evils?" + +At this moment the door of the apartment was opened, and the younger of +the women whom I had seen below entered. Her looks betrayed the deepest +consternation and anxiety. Her eyes in a moment were fixed by the +decayed form and the sad features of Clemenza. She shuddered at this +spectacle, but was silent. She stood in the midst of the floor, +fluctuating and bewildered. I dropped the hand that I was holding, and +approached her. + +"You have come," said I, "in good season. I know you not, but will +believe you to be good. You have a heart, it may be, not free from +corruption, but it is still capable of pity for the miseries of others. +You have a hand that refuses not its aid to the unhappy. See; there is +an infant dead. There is a mother whom grief has, for a time, deprived +of life. She has been oppressed and betrayed; been robbed of property +and reputation--but not of innocence. She is worthy of relief. Have you +arms to receive her? Have you sympathy, protection, and a home to bestow +upon a forlorn, betrayed, and unhappy stranger? I know not what this +house is; I suspect it to be no better than a brothel. I know not what +treatment this woman has received. When her situation and wants are +ascertained, will you supply her wants? Will you rescue her from evils +that may attend her continuance here?" + +She was disconcerted and bewildered by this address. At length she +said, "All that has happened, all that I have heard and seen, is so +unexpected, so strange, that I am amazed and distracted. Your behaviour +I cannot comprehend, nor your motive for making this address to me. I +cannot answer you, except in one respect. If this woman has suffered +injury, I have had no part in it. I knew not of her existence nor her +situation till this moment; and whatever protection or assistance she +may justly claim, I am both able and willing to bestow. I do not live +here, but in the city. I am only an occasional visitant in this house." + +"What, then!" I exclaimed, with sparkling eyes and a rapturous accent, +"you are not profligate; are a stranger to the manners of this house, +and a detester of these manners? Be not a deceiver, I entreat you. I +depend only on your looks and professions, and these may be dissembled." + +These questions, which indeed argued a childish simplicity, excited her +surprise. She looked at me, uncertain whether I was in earnest or in +jest. At length she said, "Your language is so singular, that I am at a +loss how to answer it. I shall take no pains to find out its meaning, +but leave you to form conjectures at leisure. Who is this woman, and how +can I serve her?" After a pause, she continued:--"I cannot afford her +any immediate assistance, and shall not stay a moment longer in this +house. There" (putting a card in my hand) "is my name and place of +abode. If you shall have any proposals to make, respecting this woman, I +shall be ready to receive them in my own house." So saying, she +withdrew. + +I looked wistfully after her, but could not but assent to her assertion, +that her presence here would be more injurious to her than beneficial to +Clemenza. She had scarcely gone, when the elder woman entered. There was +rage, sullenness, and disappointment in her aspect. These, however, were +suspended by the situation in which she discovered the mother and child. +It was plain that all the sentiments of woman were not extinguished in +her heart. She summoned the servants and seemed preparing to take such +measures as the occasion prescribed. I now saw the folly of supposing +that these measures would be neglected, and that my presence could not +essentially contribute to the benefit of the sufferer. Still, however, I +lingered in the room, till the infant was covered with a cloth, and the +still senseless parent was conveyed into an adjoining chamber. The woman +then, as if she had not seen me before, fixed scowling eyes upon me, and +exclaimed, "Thief! villain! why do you stay here?" + +"I mean to go," said I, "but not till I express my gratitude and +pleasure at the sight of your attention to this sufferer. You deem me +insolent and perverse, but I am not such; and hope that the day will +come when I shall convince you of my good intentions." + +"Begone!" interrupted she, in a more angry tone. "Begone this moment, or +I will treat you as a thief." She now drew forth her hand from under her +gown, and showed a pistol. "You shall see," she continued, "that I will +not be insulted with impunity. If you do not vanish, I will shoot you as +a robber." + +This woman was far from wanting a force and intrepidity worthy of a +different sex. Her gestures and tones were full of energy. They denoted +a haughty and indignant spirit. It was plain that she conceived herself +deeply injured by my conduct; and was it absolutely certain that her +anger was without reason? I had loaded her house with atrocious +imputations, and these imputations might be false. I had conceived them +upon such evidence as chance had provided; but this evidence, intricate +and dubious as human actions and motives are, might be void of truth. + +"Perhaps," said I, in a sedate tone, "I have injured you; I have +mistaken your character. You shall not find me less ready to repair, +than to perpetrate, this injury. My error was without malice, and----" + +I had not time to finish the sentence, when this rash and enraged woman +thrust the pistol close to my head and fired it. I was wholly unaware +that her fury would lead her to this excess. It was a sort of mechanical +impulse that made me raise my hand and attempt to turn aside the +weapon. I did this deliberately and tranquilly, and without conceiving +that any thing more was intended by her movement than to intimidate me. +To this precaution, however, I was indebted for life. The bullet was +diverted from my forehead to my left ear, and made a slight wound upon +the surface, from which the blood gushed in a stream. + +The loudness of this explosion, and the shock which the ball produced in +my brain, sunk me into a momentary stupor. I reeled backward, and should +have fallen, had not I supported myself against the wall. The sight of +my blood instantly restored her reason. Her rage disappeared, and was +succeeded by terror and remorse. She clasped her hands, and exclaimed, +"Oh! what! what have I done? My frantic passion has destroyed me." + +I needed no long time to show me the full extent of the injury which I +had suffered and the conduct which it became me to adopt. For a moment I +was bewildered and alarmed, but presently perceived that this was an +incident more productive of good than of evil. It would teach me caution +in contending with the passions of another, and showed me that there is +a limit which the impetuosities of anger will sometimes overstep. +Instead of reviling my companion, I addressed myself to her thus:-- + +"Be not frighted. You have done me no injury, and, I hope, will derive +instruction from this event. Your rashness had like to have sacrificed +the life of one who is your friend, and to have exposed yourself to +infamy and death, or, at least, to the pangs of eternal remorse. Learn +from hence to curb your passions, and especially to keep at a distance +from every murderous weapon, on occasions when rage is likely to take +place of reason. + +"I repeat that my motives in entering this house were connected with +your happiness as well as that of Clemenza Lodi. If I have erred in +supposing you the member of a vile and pernicious trade, that error was +worthy of being rectified, but violence and invective tend only to +confirm it. I am incapable of any purpose that is not beneficent; but, +in the means that I use and in the evidence on which I proceed, I am +liable to a thousand mistakes. Point out to me the road by which I can +do you good, and I will cheerfully pursue it." + +Finding that her fears had been groundless as to the consequences of her +rashness, she renewed, though with less vehemence than before, her +imprecations on my intermeddling and audacious folly. I listened till +the storm was nearly exhausted, and then, declaring my intention to +revisit the house if the interest of Clemenza should require it, I +resumed my way to the city. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVI. + + +"Why," said I, as I hasted forward, "is my fortune so abundant in +unforeseen occurrences? Is every man who leaves his cottage and the +impressions of his infancy behind him ushered into such a world of +revolutions and perils as have trammelled my steps? or is my scene +indebted for variety and change to my propensity to look into other +people's concerns, and to make their sorrows and their joys mine? + +"To indulge an adventurous spirit, I left the precincts of the +barn-door, enlisted in the service of a stranger, and encountered a +thousand dangers to my virtue under the disastrous influence of Welbeck. +Afterwards my life was set at hazard in the cause of Wallace, and now am +I loaded with the province of protecting the helpless Eliza Hadwin and +the unfortunate Clemenza. My wishes are fervent, and my powers shall not +be inactive in their defence; but how slender are these powers! + +"In the offers of the unknown lady there is, indeed, some consolation +for Clemenza. It must be my business to lay before my friend Stevens the +particulars of what has befallen me, and to entreat his directions how +this disconsolate girl may be most effectually succoured. It may be wise +to take her from her present abode, and place her under some chaste and +humane guardianship, where she may gradually lose remembrance of her +dead infant and her specious betrayer. The barrier that severs her from +Welbeck must be high as heaven and insuperable as necessity. + +"But, soft! Talked she not of Welbeck? Said she not that he was in +prison and was sick? Poor wretch! I thought thy course was at an end; +that the penalty of guilt no longer weighed down thy heart; that thy +misdeeds and thy remorses were buried in a common and obscure grave; but +it seems thou art still alive. + +"Is it rational to cherish the hope of thy restoration to innocence and +peace? Thou art no obdurate criminal; hadst thou less virtue, thy +compunctions would be less keen. Wert thou deaf to the voice of duty, +thy wanderings into guilt and folly would be less fertile of anguish. +The time will perhaps come, when the measure of thy transgressions and +calamities will overflow, and the folly of thy choice will be too +conspicuous to escape thy discernment. Surely, even for such +transgressors as thou, there is a salutary power in the precepts of +truth and the lessons of experience. + +"But thou art imprisoned and art sick. This, perhaps, is the crisis of +thy destiny. Indigence and dishonour were the evils to shun which thy +integrity and peace of mind have been lightly forfeited. Thou hast found +that the price was given in vain; that the hollow and deceitful +enjoyments of opulence and dignity were not worth the purchase; and +that, frivolous and unsubstantial as they are, the only path that leads +to them is that of honesty and diligence. Thou art in prison and art +sick; and there is none to cheer thy hour with offices of kindness, or +uphold thy fainting courage by the suggestions of good counsel. For such +as thou the world has no compassion. Mankind will pursue thee to the +grave with execrations. Their cruelty will be justified or palliated, +since they know thee not. They are unacquainted with the goadings of thy +conscience and the bitter retributions which thou art daily suffering. +They are full of their own wrongs, and think only of those tokens of +exultation and complacency which thou wast studious of assuming in thy +intercourse with them. It is I only that thoroughly know thee and can +rightly estimate thy claims to compassion. + +"I have somewhat partaken of thy kindness, and thou meritest some +gratitude at my hands. Shall I not visit and endeavour to console thee +in thy distress? Let me, at least, ascertain thy condition, and be the +instrument in repairing the wrongs which thou hast inflicted. Let me +gain, from the contemplation of thy misery, new motives to sincerity and +rectitude." + +While occupied by these reflections, I entered the city. The thoughts +which engrossed my mind related to Welbeck. It is not my custom to defer +till to-morrow what can be done to-day. The destiny of man frequently +hangs upon the lapse of a minute. "I will stop," said I, "at the prison; +and, since the moment of my arrival may not be indifferent, I will go +thither with all possible haste." I did not content myself with walking, +but, regardless of the comments of passengers, hurried along the way at +full speed. + +Having inquired for Welbeck, I was conducted through a dark room, +crowded with beds, to a staircase. Never before had I been in a prison. +Never had I smelt so noisome an odour, or surveyed faces so begrimed +with filth and misery. The walls and floors were alike squalid and +detestable. It seemed that in this house existence would be bereaved of +all its attractions; and yet those faces, which could be seen through +the obscurity that encompassed them, were either void of care or +distorted with mirth. + +"This," said I, as I followed my conductor, "is the residence of +Welbeck. What contrasts are these to the repose and splendour, pictured +walls, glossy hangings, gilded sofas, mirrors that occupied from ceiling +to floor, carpets of Tauris, and the spotless and transcendent +brilliancy of coverlets and napkins, in thy former dwelling! Here +brawling and the shuffling of rude feet are eternal. The air is loaded +with the exhalations of disease and the fumes of debauchery. Thou art +cooped up in airless space, and, perhaps, compelled to share thy narrow +cell with some stupid ruffian. Formerly, the breezes were courted by thy +lofty windows. Aromatic shrubs were scattered on thy hearth. Menials, +splendid in apparel, showed their faces with diffidence in thy +apartment, trod lightly on thy marble floor, and suffered not the +sanctity of silence to be troubled by a whisper. Thy lamp shot its rays +through the transparency of alabaster, and thy fragrant lymph flowed +from vases of porcelain. Such were formerly the decorations of thy +hall, the embellishments of thy existence; but now--alas!----" + +We reached a chamber in the second story. My conductor knocked at the +door. No one answered. Repeated knocks were unheard or unnoticed by the +person within. At length, lifting a latch, we entered together. + +The prisoner lay upon the bed, with his face turned from the door. I +advanced softly, making a sign to the keeper to withdraw. Welbeck was +not asleep, but merely buried in reverie. I was unwilling to disturb his +musing, and stood with my eyes fixed upon his form. He appeared +unconscious that any one had entered. + +At length, uttering a deep sigh, he changed his posture, and perceived +me in my motionless and gazing attitude. Recollect in what circumstances +we had last parted. Welbeck had, no doubt, carried away with him from +that interview a firm belief that I should speedily die. His prognostic, +however, was fated to be contradicted. + +His first emotions were those of surprise. These gave place to +mortification and rage. After eyeing me for some time, he averted his +glances, and that effort which is made to dissipate some obstacle to +breathing showed me that his sensations were of the most excruciating +kind. He laid his head upon the pillow, and sunk into his former musing. +He disdained, or was unable, to utter a syllable of welcome or contempt. + +In the opportunity that had been afforded me to view his countenance, I +had observed tokens of a kind very different from those which used to be +visible. The gloomy and malignant were more conspicuous. Health had +forsaken his cheeks, and taken along with it those flexible parts which +formerly enabled him to cover his secret torments and insidious purposes +beneath a veil of benevolence and cheerfulness. "Alas!" said I, loud +enough for him to hear me, "here is a monument of ruin. Despair and +mischievous passions are too deeply rooted in this heart for me to tear +them away." + +These expressions did not escape his notice. He turned once more and +cast sullen looks upon me. There was somewhat in his eyes that made me +shudder. They denoted that his reverie was not that of grief, but of +madness. I continued, in a less steadfast voice than before:-- + +"Unhappy Clemenza! I have performed thy message. I have visited him that +is sick and in prison. Thou hadst cause for anguish and terror, even +greater cause than thou imaginedst. Would to God that thou wouldst be +contented with the report which I shall make; that thy misguided +tenderness would consent to leave him to his destiny, would suffer him +to die alone; but that is a forbearance which no eloquence that I +possess will induce thee to practise. Thou must come, and witness for +thyself." + +In speaking thus, I was far from foreseeing the effects which would be +produced on the mind of Welbeck. I was far from intending to instil into +him a belief that Clemenza was near at hand, and was preparing to enter +his apartment; yet no other images but these would, perhaps, have roused +him from his lethargy, and awakened that attention which I wished to +awaken. He started up, and gazed fearfully at the door. + +"What!" he cried. "What! Is she here? Ye powers, that have scattered +woes in my path, spare me the sight of her! But from this agony I will +rescue myself. The moment she appears I will pluck out these eyes and +dash them at her feet." + +So saying, he gazed with augmented eagerness upon the door. His hands +were lifted to his head, as if ready to execute his frantic purpose. I +seized his arm and besought him to lay aside his terror, for that +Clemenza was far distant. She had no intention, and besides was unable, +to visit him. + +"Then I am respited. I breathe again. No; keep her from a prison. Drag +her to the wheel or to the scaffold; mangle her with stripes; torture +her with famine; strangle her child before her face, and cast it to the +hungry dogs that are howling at the gate; but--keep her from a prison. +Never let her enter these doors." There he stopped; his eyes being fixed +on the floor, and his thoughts once more buried in reverie. I +resumed:-- + +"She is occupied with other griefs than those connected with the fate of +Welbeck. She is not unmindful of you; she knows you to be sick and in +prison; and I came to do for you whatever office your condition might +require, and I came at her suggestion. She, alas! has full employment +for her tears in watering the grave of her child." + +He started. "What! dead? Say you that the child is dead?" + +"It is dead. I witnessed its death. I saw it expire in the arms of its +mother; that mother whom I formerly met under your roof blooming and +gay, but whom calamity has tarnished and withered. I saw her in the +raiment of poverty, under an accursed roof: desolate; alone; unsolaced +by the countenance or sympathy of human beings; approached only by those +who mock at her distress, set snares for her innocence, and push her to +infamy. I saw her leaning over the face of her dying babe." + +Welbeck put his hands to his head, and exclaimed, "Curses on thy lips, +infernal messenger! Chant elsewhere thy rueful ditty! Vanish! if thou +wouldst not feel in thy heart fangs red with blood less guilty than +thine." + +Till this moment the uproar in Welbeck's mind appeared to hinder him +from distinctly recognising his visitant. Now it seemed as if the +incidents of our last interview suddenly sprung up in his remembrance. + +"What! This is the villain that rifled my cabinet, the maker of my +poverty and of all the evils which it has since engendered! That has led +me to a prison! Execrable fool! you are the author of the scene that you +describe, and of horrors without number and name. To whatever crimes I +have been urged since that interview, and the fit of madness that made +you destroy my property, they spring from your act; they flowed from +necessity, which, had you held your hand at that fateful moment, would +never have existed. + +"How dare you thrust yourself upon my privacy? Why am I not alone? Fly! +and let my miseries want, at least, the aggravation of beholding their +author. My eyes loathe the sight of thee! My heart would suffocate thee +with its own bitterness! Begone!" + +"I know not," I answered, "why innocence should tremble at the ravings +of a lunatic; why it should be overwhelmed by unmerited reproaches! Why +it should not deplore the errors of its foe, labour to correct those +errors, and----" + +"Thank thy fate, youth, that my hands are tied up by my scorn; thank thy +fate that no weapon is within reach. Much has passed since I saw thee, +and I am a new man. I am no longer inconstant and cowardly. I have no +motives but contempt to hinder me from expiating the wrongs which thou +hast done me in thy blood. I disdain to take thy life. Go; and let thy +fidelity, at least, to the confidence which I have placed in thee, be +inviolate. Thou hast done me harm enough, but canst do, if thou wilt, +still more. Thou canst betray the secrets that are lodged in thy bosom, +and rob me of the comfort of reflecting that my guilt is known but to +one among the living." + +This suggestion made me pause, and look back upon the past. I had +confided this man's tale to you. The secrecy on which he so fondly +leaned was at an end. Had I acted culpably or not? + +But why should I ruminate, with anguish and doubt, upon the past? The +future was within my power, and the road of my duty was too plain to be +mistaken. I would disclose to Welbeck the truth, and cheerfully +encounter every consequence. I would summon my friend to my aid, and +take his counsel in the critical emergency in which I was placed. I +ought not to rely upon myself alone in my efforts to benefit this being, +when another was so near whose discernment and benevolence, and +knowledge of mankind, and power of affording relief, were far superior +to mine. + +Influenced by these thoughts, I left the apartment without speaking; +and, procuring pen and paper, despatched to you the billet which brought +about our meeting. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVII. + + +Mervyn's auditors allowed no pause in their attention to this story. +Having ended, a deep silence took place. The clock which stood upon the +mantel had sounded twice the customary _larum_, but had not been heard +by us. It was now struck a third time. It was _one_. Our guest appeared +somewhat startled at this signal, and looked, with a mournful sort of +earnestness, at the clock. There was an air of inquietude about him +which I had never observed in an equal degree before. + +I was not without much curiosity respecting other incidents than those +which had just been related by him; but, after so much fatigue as he had +undergone, I thought it improper to prolong the conversation. + +"Come," said I, "my friend, let us to bed. This is a drowsy time, and, +after so much exercise of mind and body, you cannot but need some +repose. Much has happened in your absence, which is proper to be known +to you; but our discourse will be best deferred till to-morrow. I will +come into your chamber by day-dawn, and unfold to you particulars." + +"Nay," said he, "withdraw not on my account. If I go to my chamber, it +will not be to sleep, but to meditate, especially after your assurance +that something of moment has occurred in my absence. My thoughts, +independently of any cause of sorrow or fear, have received an impulse +which solitude and darkness will not stop. It is impossible to know too +much for our safety and integrity, or to know it too soon. What has +happened?" + +I did not hesitate to comply with his request, for it was not difficult +to conceive that, however tired the limbs might be, the adventures of +this day would not be easily expelled from the memory at night. I told +him the substance of the conversation with Mrs. Althorpe. He smiled at +those parts of the narrative which related to himself; but when his +father's depravity and poverty were mentioned, he melted into tears. + +"Poor wretch! I, that knew thee in thy better days, might have easily +divined this consequence. I foresaw thy poverty and degradation in the +same hour that I left thy roof. My soul drooped at the prospect, but I +said, It cannot be prevented, and this reflection was an antidote to +grief; but, now that thy ruin is complete, it seems as if some of it +were imputable to me, who forsook thee when the succour and counsel of a +son were most needed. Thou art ignorant and vicious, but thou art my +father still. I see that the sufferings of a better man than thou art +would less afflict me than thine. Perhaps it is still in my power to +restore thy liberty and good name, and yet--that is a fond wish. Thou +art past the age when the ignorance and grovelling habits of a human +being are susceptible of cure." There he stopped, and, after a gloomy +pause, continued:-- + + * * * * * + +I am not surprised or afflicted at the misconceptions of my neighbours +with relation to my own character. Men must judge from what they see; +they must build their conclusions on their knowledge. I never saw in the +rebukes of my neighbours any thing but laudable abhorrence of vice. They +were too eager to blame, to collect materials of censure rather than of +praise. It was not me whom they hated and despised. It was the phantom +that passed under my name, which existed only in their imagination, and +which was worthy of all their scorn and all their enmity. + +What I appeared to be in their eyes was as much the object of my own +disapprobation as of theirs. Their reproaches only evinced the rectitude +of their decisions, as well as of my own. I drew from them new motives +to complacency. They fortified my perseverance in the path which I had +chosen as best; they raised me higher in my own esteem; they heightened +the claims of the reproachers themselves to my respect and my +gratitude. + +They thought me slothful, incurious, destitute of knowledge and of all +thirst of knowledge, insolent, and profligate. They say that in the +treatment of my father I have been ungrateful and inhuman. I have stolen +his property, and deserted him in his calamity. Therefore they hate and +revile me. It is well; I love them for these proofs of their discernment +and integrity. Their indignation at wrong is the truest test of their +virtue. + +It is true that they mistake me, but that arises from the circumstances +of our mutual situation. They examined what was exposed to their view, +they grasped at what was placed within their reach. To decide contrary +to appearances, to judge from what they knew not, would prove them to be +brutish and not rational, would make their decision of no worth, and +render them, in their turn, objects of neglect and contempt. + +It is true that I hated school; that I sought occasions of absence, and +finally, on being struck by the master, determined to enter his presence +no more. I loved to leap, to run, to swim, to climb trees and to clamber +up rocks, to shroud myself in thickets and stroll among woods, to obey +the impulse of the moment, and to prate or be silent, just as my humour +prompted me. All this I loved more than to go to and fro in the same +path, and at stated hours to look off and on a book, to read just as +much and of such a kind, to stand up and be seated, just as another +thought proper to direct. I hated to be classed, cribbed, rebuked, and +feruled at the pleasure of one who, as it seemed to me, knew no guide in +his rewards but caprice, and no prompter in his punishments but passion. + +It is true that I took up the spade and the hoe as rarely, and for as +short a time, as possible. I preferred to ramble in the forest and +loiter on the hill; perpetually to change the scene; to scrutinize the +endless variety of objects; to compare one leaf and pebble with another; +to pursue those trains of thought which their resemblances and +differences suggested; to inquire what it was that gave them this place, +structure, and form, were more agreeable employments than ploughing and +threshing. + +My father could well afford to hire labour. What my age and my +constitution enabled me to do could be done by a sturdy boy, in half the +time, with half the toil, and with none of the reluctance. The boy was a +bond-servant, and the cost of his clothing and food was next to nothing. +True it is, that my service would have saved him even this expense, but +my motives for declining the effort were not hastily weighed or +superficially examined. These were my motives. + +My frame was delicate and feeble. Exposure to wet blasts and vertical +suns was sure to make me sick. My father was insensible to this +consequence; and no degree of diligence would please him but that which +would destroy my health. My health was dearer to my mother than to me. +She was more anxious to exempt me from possible injuries than reason +justified; but anxious she was, and I could not save her from anxiety +but by almost wholly abstaining from labour. I thought her peace of mind +was of some value, and that, if the inclination of either of my parents +must be gratified at the expense of the other, the preference was due to +the woman who bore me; who nursed me in disease; who watched over my +safety with incessant tenderness; whose life and whose peace were +involved in mine. I should have deemed myself brutish and obdurately +wicked to have loaded her with fears and cares merely to smooth the brow +of a froward old man, whose avarice called on me to sacrifice my ease +and my health, and who shifted to other shoulders the province of +sustaining me when sick, and of mourning for me when dead. + +I likewise believed that it became me to reflect upon the influence of +my decision on my own happiness; and to weigh the profits flowing to my +father from my labour, against the benefits of mental exercise, the +pleasures of the woods and streams, healthful sensations, and the luxury +of musing. The pecuniary profit was petty and contemptible. It obviated +no necessity. It purchased no rational enjoyment. It merely provoked, by +furnishing the means of indulgence, an appetite from which my father was +not exempt. It cherished the seeds of depravity in him, and lessened the +little stock of happiness belonging to my mother. + +I did not detain you long, my friends, in portraying my parents, and +recounting domestic incidents, when I first told you my story. What had +no connection with the history of Welbeck and with the part that I have +acted upon this stage I thought it proper to omit. My omission was +likewise prompted by other reasons. My mind is enervated and feeble, +like my body. I cannot look upon the sufferings of those I love without +exquisite pain. I cannot steel my heart by the force of reason, and by +submission to necessity; and, therefore, too frequently employ the +cowardly expedient of endeavouring to forget what I cannot remember +without agony. + +I told you that my father was sober and industrious by habit; but habit +is not uniform. There were intervals when his plodding and tame spirit +gave place to the malice and fury of a demon. Liquors were not sought by +him; but he could not withstand entreaty, and a potion that produced no +effect upon others changed him into a maniac. + +I told you that I had a sister, whom the arts of a villain destroyed. +Alas! the work of her destruction was left unfinished by him. The blows +and contumelies of a misjudging and implacable parent, who scrupled not +to thrust her, with her new-born infant, out of doors; the curses and +taunts of unnatural brothers, left her no alternative but death.----But +I must not think of this; I must not think of the wrongs which my mother +endured in the person of her only and darling daughter. + +My brothers were the copyists of the father, whom they resembled in +temper and person. My mother doted on her own image in her daughter and +in me. This daughter was ravished from her by self-violence, and her +other children by disease. I only remained to appropriate her affections +and fulfil her hopes. This alone had furnished a sufficient reason why I +should be careful of my health and my life, but my father's character +supplied me with a motive infinitely more cogent. + +It is almost incredible, but nevertheless true, that the only being +whose presence and remonstrances had any influence on my father, at +moments when his reason was extinct, was myself. As to my personal +strength, it was nothing; yet my mother's person was rescued from +brutal violence; he was checked, in the midst of his ferocious career, +by a single look or exclamation from me. The fear of my rebukes had even +some influence in enabling him to resist temptation. If I entered the +tavern at the moment when he was lifting the glass to his lips, I never +weighed the injunctions of decorum, but, snatching the vessel from his +hand, I threw it on the ground. I was not deterred by the presence of +others; and their censures on my want of filial respect and duty were +listened to with unconcern. I chose not to justify myself by expatiating +on domestic miseries, and by calling down that pity on my mother which I +knew would only have increased her distress. + +The world regarded my deportment as insolent and perverse to a degree of +insanity. To deny my father an indulgence which they thought harmless, +and which, indeed, was harmless in its influence on other men; to +interfere thus publicly with his social enjoyments, and expose him to +mortification and shame, was loudly condemned; but my duty to my mother +debarred me from eluding this censure on the only terms on which it +could have been eluded. Now it has ceased to be necessary to conceal +what passed in domestic retirements, and I should willingly confess the +truth before any audience. + +At first my father imagined that threats and blows would intimidate his +monitor. In this he was mistaken, and the detection of this mistake +impressed him with an involuntary reverence for me, which set bounds to +those excesses which disdained any other control. Hence I derived new +motives for cherishing a life which was useful, in so many ways, to my +mother. + +My condition is now changed. I am no longer on that field to which the +law, as well as reason, must acknowledge that I had some right, while +there was any in my father. I must hazard my life, if need be, in the +pursuit of the means of honest subsistence. I never spared myself while +in the service of Mr. Hadwin; and, at a more inclement season, should +probably have incurred some hazard by my diligence. + +These were the motives of my _idleness_,--for my abstaining from the +common toils of the farm passed by that name among my neighbours; +though, in truth, my time was far from being wholly unoccupied by manual +employments, but these required less exertion of body or mind, or were +more connected with intellectual efforts. They were pursued in the +seclusion of my chamber or the recesses of a wood. I did not labour to +conceal them, but neither was I anxious to attract notice. It was +sufficient that the censure of my neighbours was unmerited, to make me +regard it with indifference. + +I sought not the society of persons of my own age, not from sullen or +unsociable habits, but merely because those around me were totally +unlike myself. Their tastes and occupations were incompatible with mine. +In my few books, in my pen, in the vegetable and animal existences +around me, I found companions who adapted their visits and intercourse +to my convenience and caprice, and with whom I was never tired of +communing. + +I was not unaware of the opinion which my neighbours had formed of my +being improperly connected with Betty Lawrence. I am not sorry that I +fell into company with that girl. Her intercourse has instructed me in +what some would think impossible to be attained by one who had never +haunted the impure recesses of licentiousness in a city. The knowledge +which a residence in this town for ten years gave her audacious and +inquisitive spirit she imparted to me. Her character, profligate and +artful, libidinous and impudent, and made up of the impressions which a +city life had produced on her coarse but active mind, was open to my +study, and I studied it. + +I scarcely know how to repel the charge of illicit conduct, and to +depict the exact species of intercourse subsisting between us. I always +treated her with freedom, and sometimes with gayety. I had no motives to +reserve. I was so formed that a creature like her had no power over my +senses. That species of temptation adapted to entice me from the true +path was widely different from the artifices of Betty. There was no +point at which it was possible for her to get possession of my fancy. I +watched her while she practised all her tricks and blandishments, as I +regarded a similar deportment in the _animal salax ignavumque_ who +inhabits the sty. I made efforts to pursue my observations +unembarrassed; but my efforts were made, not to restrain desire, but to +suppress disgust. The difficulty lay, not in withholding my caresses, +but in forbearing to repulse her with rage. + +Decorum, indeed, was not outraged, and all limits were not overstepped +at once. Dubious advances were employed; but, when found unavailing, +were displaced by more shameless and direct proceedings. She was too +little versed in human nature to see that her last expedient was always +worse than the preceding; and that, in proportion as she lost sight of +decency, she multiplied the obstacles to her success. + +Betty had many enticements in person and air. She was ruddy, smooth, and +plump. To these she added--I must not say what, for it is strange to +what lengths a woman destitute of modesty will sometimes go. But, all +her artifices availing her not at all in the contest with my +insensibilities, she resorted to extremes which it would serve no good +purpose to describe in this audience. They produced not the consequences +she wished, but they produced another which was by no means displeasing +to her. An incident one night occurred, from which a sagacious observer +deduced the existence of an intrigue. It was useless to attempt to +rectify his mistake by explaining appearances in a manner consistent +with my innocence. This mode of explication implied a _continence_ in me +which he denied to be possible. The standard of possibilities, +especially in vice and virtue, is fashioned by most men after their own +character. A temptation which this judge of human nature knew that _he_ +was unable to resist, he sagely concluded to be irresistible by any +other man, and quickly established the belief among my neighbours, that +the woman who married the father had been prostituted to the son. Though +I never admitted the truth of this aspersion, I believed it useless to +deny, because no one would credit my denial, and because I had no power +to disprove it. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVIII. + + +What other inquiries were to be resolved by our young friend, we were +now, at this late hour, obliged to postpone till the morrow. I shall +pass over the reflections which a story like this would naturally +suggest, and hasten to our next interview. + +After breakfast next morning, the subject of last night's conversation +was renewed. I told him that something had occurred in his absence, in +relation to Mrs. Wentworth and her nephew, that had perplexed us not a +little. "My information is obtained," continued I, "from Wortley; and it +is nothing less than that young Clavering, Mrs. Wentworth's nephew, is, +at this time, actually alive." + +Surprise, but none of the embarrassment of guilt, appeared in his +countenance at these tidings. He looked at me as if desirous that I +should proceed. + +"It seems," added I, "that a letter was lately received by this lady +from the father of Clavering, who is now in Europe. This letter reports +that this son was lately met with in Charleston, and relates the means +which old Mr. Clavering had used to prevail upon his son to return home; +means, of the success of which he entertained well-grounded hopes. What +think you?" + +"I can only reject it," said he, after some pause, "as untrue. The +father's correspondent may have been deceived. The father may have been +deceived, or the father may conceive it necessary to deceive the aunt, +or some other supposition as to the source of the error may be true; but +an error it surely is. Clavering is not alive. I know the chamber where +he died, and the withered pine under which he lies buried." + +"If she be deceived," said I, "it will be impossible to rectify her +error." + +"I hope not. An honest front and a straight story will be sufficient." + +"How do you mean to act?" + +"Visit her, without doubt, and tell her the truth. My tale will be too +circumstantial and consistent to permit her to disbelieve." + +"She will not hearken to you. She is too strongly prepossessed against +you to admit you even to a hearing." + +"She cannot help it. Unless she lock her door against me, or stuff her +ears with wool, she must hear me. Her prepossessions are reasonable, but +are easily removed by telling the truth. Why does she suspect me of +artifice? Because I seemed to be allied to Welbeck, and because I +disguised the truth. That she thinks ill of me is not her fault, but my +misfortune; and, happily for me, a misfortune easily removed." + +"Then you will try to see her?" + +"I will see her, and the sooner the better. I will see her to-day; this +morning; as soon as I have seen Welbeck, whom I shall immediately visit +in his prison." + +"There are other embarrassments and dangers of which you are not aware. +Welbeck is pursued by many persons whom he has defrauded of large sums. +By these persons you are deemed an accomplice in his guilt, and a +warrant is already in the hands of officers for arresting you wherever +you are found." + +"In what way," said Mervyn, sedately, "do they imagine me a partaker of +his crime?" + +"I know not. You lived with him. You fled with him. You aided and +connived at his escape." + +"Are these crimes?" + +"I believe not, but they subject you to suspicion." + +"To arrest and to punishment?" + +"To detention for a while, perhaps. But these alone cannot expose you to +punishment." + +"I thought so. Then I have nothing to fear." + +"You have imprisonment and obloquy, at least, to dread." + +"True; but they cannot be avoided but by my exile and skulking out of +sight,--evils infinitely more formidable. I shall, therefore, not avoid +them. The sooner my conduct is subjected to scrutiny, the better. Will +you go with me to Welbeck?" + +"I will go with you." + +Inquiring for Welbeck of the keeper of the prison, we were informed that +he was in his own apartment, very sick. The physician attending the +prison had been called, but the prisoner had preserved an obstinate and +scornful silence; and had neither explained his condition, nor consented +to accept any aid. + +We now went alone into his apartment. His sensibility seemed fast +ebbing, yet an emotion of joy was visible in his eyes at the appearance +of Mervyn. He seemed likewise to recognise in me his late visitant, and +made no objection to my entrance. + +"How are you this morning?" said Arthur, seating himself on the bedside, +and taking his hand. The sick man was scarcely able to articulate his +reply:--"I shall soon be well. I have longed to see you. I want to leave +with you a few words." He now cast his languid eyes on me. "You are his +friend," he continued. "You know all. You may stay." + +There now succeeded a long pause, during which he closed his eyes, and +resigned himself as if to an oblivion of all thought. His pulse under my +hand was scarcely perceptible. From this in some minutes he recovered, +and, fixing his eyes on Mervyn, resumed, in a broken and feeble +accent:-- + +"Clemenza! You have seen her. Weeks ago, I left her in an accursed +house; yet she has not been mistreated. Neglected and abandoned indeed, +but not mistreated. Save her, Mervyn. Comfort her. Awaken charity for +her sake. + +"I cannot tell you what has happened. The tale would be too long,--too +mournful. Yet, in justice to the living, I must tell you something. My +woes and my crimes will be buried with me. Some of them, but not all. + +"Ere this, I should have been many leagues upon the ocean, had not a +newspaper fallen into my hands while on the eve of embarkation. By that +I learned that a treasure was buried with the remains of the ill-fated +Watson. I was destitute. I was unjust enough to wish to make this +treasure my own. Prone to think I was forgotten, or numbered with the +victims of pestilence, I ventured to return under a careless disguise. I +penetrated to the vaults of that deserted dwelling by night. I dug up +the bones of my friend, and found the girdle and its valuable contents, +according to the accurate description that I had read. + +"I hastened back with my prize to Baltimore, but my evil destiny +overtook me at last. I was recognised by emissaries of Jamieson, +arrested and brought hither, and here shall I consummate my fate and +defeat the rage of my creditors by death. But first----" + +Here Welbeck stretched out his left hand to Mervyn, and, after some +reluctance, showed a roll of lead. + +"Receive this," said he. "In the use of it, be guided by your honesty +and by the same advertisement that furnished me the clue by which to +recover it. That being secured, the world and I will part forever. +Withdraw, for your presence can help me nothing." + +We were unwilling to comply with his injunction, and continued some +longer time in his chamber; but our kind intent availed nothing. He +quickly relapsed into insensibility, from which he recovered not again, +but next day expired. Such, in the flower of his age, was the fate of +Thomas Welbeck. + +Whatever interest I might feel in accompanying the progress of my young +friend, a sudden and unforeseen emergency compelled me again to leave +the city. A kinsman, to whom I was bound by many obligations, was +suffering a lingering disease, and, imagining, with some reason, his +dissolution to be not far distant, he besought my company and my +assistance, to soothe, at least, the agonies of his last hour. I was +anxious to clear up the mysteries which Arthur's conduct had produced, +and to shield him, if possible, from the evils which I feared awaited +him. It was impossible, however, to decline the invitation of my +kinsman, as his residence was not a day's journey from the city. I was +obliged to content myself with occasional information, imparted by +Mervyn's letters or those of my wife. + +Meanwhile, on leaving the prison, I hasted to inform Mervyn of the true +nature of the scene which had just passed. By this extraordinary +occurrence, the property of the Maurices was now in honest hands. +Welbeck, stimulated by selfish motives, had done that which any other +person would have found encompassed with formidable dangers and +difficulties. How this attempt was suggested or executed, he had not +informed us, nor was it desirable to know. It was sufficient that the +means of restoring their own to a destitute and meritorious family were +now in our possession. + +Having returned home, I unfolded to Mervyn all the particulars +respecting Williams and the Maurices which I had lately learned from +Wortley. He listened with deep attention, and, my story being finished, +he said, "In this small compass, then, is the patrimony and subsistence +of a numerous family. To restore it to them is the obvious +proceeding--but how? Where do they abide?" + +"Williams and Watson's wife live in Baltimore, and the Maurices live +near that town. The advertisements alluded to by Wortley, and which are +to be found in any newspaper, will inform us; but, first, are we sure +that any or all of these bills are contained in this covering?" + +The lead was now unrolled, and the bills which Williams had described +were found enclosed. Nothing appeared to be deficient. Of this, however, +we were scarcely qualified to judge. Those that were the property of +Williams might not be entire, and what would be the consequence of +presenting them to him, if any had been embezzled by Welbeck? + +This difficulty was obviated by Mervyn, who observed that the +advertisement describing these bills would afford us ample information +on this head. "Having found out where the Maurices and Mrs. Watson live, +nothing remains but to visit them, and put an end, as far as lies in my +power, to their inquietudes." + +"What! Would you go to Baltimore?" + +"Certainly. Can any other expedient be proper? How shall I otherwise +insure the safe conveyance of these papers?" + +"You may send them by post." + +"But why not go myself?" + +"I can hardly tell, unless your appearance on such an errand may be +suspected likely to involve you in embarrassments." + +"What embarrassments? If they receive their own, ought they not to be +satisfied?" + +"The inquiry will naturally be made as to the manner of gaining +possession of these papers. They were lately in the hands of Watson, but +Watson has disappeared. Suspicions are awake respecting the cause of his +disappearance. These suspicions are connected with Welbeck, and +Welbeck's connection with you is not unknown." + +"These are evils, but I see not how an ingenious and open conduct is +adapted to increase these evils. If they come, I must endure them." + +"I believe your decision is right. No one is so skilful an advocate in a +cause, as he whose cause it is. I rely upon your skill and address, and +shall leave you to pursue your own way. I must leave you for a time, but +shall expect to be punctually informed of all that passes." With this +agreement we parted, and I hastened to perform my intended journey. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIX. + + +I am glad, my friend, thy nimble pen has got so far upon its journey. +What remains of my story may be despatched in a trice. I have just now +some vacant hours, which might possibly be more usefully employed, but +not in an easier manner or more pleasant. So, let me carry on thy +thread. + +First, let me mention the resolutions I had formed at the time I parted +with my friend. I had several objects in view. One was a conference with +Mrs. Wentworth; another was an interview with her whom I met with at +Villars's. My heart melted when I thought upon the desolate condition of +Clemenza, and determined me to direct my first efforts for her relief. +For this end I was to visit the female who had given me a direction to +her house. The name of this person is Achsa Fielding, and she lived, +according to her own direction, at No. 40 Walnut Street. + +I went thither without delay. She was not at home. Having gained +information from the servant as to when she might be found, I proceeded +to Mrs. Wentworth's. In going thither my mind was deeply occupied in +meditation; and, with my usual carelessness of forms, I entered the +house and made my way to the parlour, where an interview had formerly +taken place between us. + +Having arrived, I began, though somewhat unseasonably, to reflect upon +the topics with which I should introduce my conversation, and +particularly the manner in which I should introduce myself. I had opened +doors without warning, and traversed passages without being noticed. +This had arisen from my thoughtlessness. There was no one within hearing +or sight. What was next to be done? Should I not return softly to the +outer door, and summon the servant by knocking? + +Preparing to do this, I heard a footstep in the entry which suspended my +design. I stood in the middle of the floor, attentive to these +movements, when presently the door opened, and there entered the +apartment Mrs. Wentworth herself! She came, as it seemed, without +expectation of finding any one there. When, therefore, the figure of a +man caught her vagrant attention, she started and cast a hasty look +towards me. + +"Pray!" (in a peremptory tone,) "how came you here, sir? and what is +your business?" + +Neither arrogance, on the one hand, nor humility, upon the other, had +any part in modelling my deportment. I came not to deprecate anger, or +exult over distress. I answered, therefore, distinctly, firmly, and +erectly,-- + +"I came to see you, madam, and converse with you; but, being busy with +other thoughts, I forgot to knock at the door. No evil was intended by +my negligence, though propriety has certainly not been observed. Will +you pardon this intrusion, and condescend to grant me your attention?" + +"To what? What have you to say to me? I know you only as the accomplice +of a villain in an attempt to deceive me. There is nothing to justify +your coming hither, and I desire you to leave the house with as little +ceremony as you entered it." + +My eyes were lowered at this rebuke, yet I did not obey the command. +"Your treatment of me, madam, is such as I appear to you to deserve. +Appearances are unfavourable to me, but those appearances are false. I +have concurred in no plot against your reputation or your fortune. I +have told you nothing but the truth. I came hither to promote no selfish +or sinister purpose. I have no favour to entreat, and no petition to +offer, but that you will suffer me to clear up those mistakes which you +have harboured respecting me. + +"I am poor. I am destitute of fame and of kindred. I have nothing to +console me in obscurity and indigence, but the approbation of my own +heart and the good opinion of those who know me as I am. The good may be +led to despise and condemn me. Their aversion and scorn shall not make +me unhappy; but it is my interest and my duty to rectify their error if +I can. I regard your character with esteem. You have been mistaken in +condemning me as a liar and impostor, and I came to remove this mistake. +I came, if not to procure your esteem, at least to take away hatred and +suspicion. + +"But this is not all my purpose. You are in an error in relation not +only to my character, but to the situation of your nephew Clavering. I +formerly told you, that I saw him die; that I assisted at his burial: +but my tale was incoherent and imperfect, and you have since received +intelligence to which you think proper to trust, and which assures you +that he is still living. All I now ask is your attention, while I relate +the particulars of my knowledge. + +"Proof of my veracity or innocence may be of no value in your eyes, but +the fate of your nephew ought to be known to you. Certainty, on this +head, may be of much importance to your happiness, and to the regulation +of your future conduct. To hear me patiently can do you no injury, and +may benefit you much. Will you permit me to go on?" + +During this address, little abatement of resentment and scorn was +visible in my companion. + +"I will hear you," she replied. "Your invention may amuse if it does not +edify. But, I pray you, let your story be short." + +I was obliged to be content with this ungraceful concession, and +proceeded to begin my narration. I described the situation of my +father's dwelling. I mentioned the year, month, day, and hour of her +nephew's appearance among us. I expatiated minutely on his form, +features, dress, sound of his voice, and repeated his words. His +favourite gestures and attitudes were faithfully described. + +I had gone but a little way in my story, when the effects were visible +in her demeanour which I expected from it. Her knowledge of the youth, +and of the time and manner of his disappearance, made it impossible for +me, with so minute a narrative, to impose upon her credulity. Every +word, every incident related, attested my truth, by their agreement with +what she herself previously knew. + +Her suspicious and angry watchfulness was quickly exchanged for downcast +looks, and stealing tears, and sighs difficultly repressed. Meanwhile, I +did not pause, but described the treatment he received from my mother's +tenderness, his occupations, the freaks of his insanity, and, finally, +the circumstances of his death and funeral. + +Thence I hastened to the circumstances which brought me to the city; +which placed me in the service of Welbeck, and obliged me to perform so +ambiguous a part in her presence. I left no difficulty to be solved, and +no question unanticipated. + +"I have now finished my story," I continued, "and accomplished my design +in coming hither. Whether I have vindicated my integrity from your +suspicions, I know not. I have done what in me lay to remove your error; +and, in that, have done my duty. What more remains? Any inquiries you +are pleased to make, I am ready to answer. If there be none to make, I +will comply with your former commands, and leave the house with as +little ceremony as I entered it." + +"Your story," she replied, "has been unexpected. I believe it fully, and +am sorry for the hard thoughts which past appearances have made me +entertain concerning you." + +Here she sunk into mournful silence. "The information," she at length +resumed, "which I have received from another quarter respecting that +unfortunate youth, astonishes and perplexes me. It is inconsistent with +your story, but it must be founded on some mistake, which I am, at +present, unable to unravel. Welbeck, whose connection has been so +unfortunate to you----" + +"Unfortunate! Dear madam! How unfortunate? It has done away a part of my +ignorance of the world in which I live. It has led me to the situation +in which I am now placed. It has introduced me to the knowledge of many +good people. It has made me the witness and the subject of many acts of +beneficence and generosity. My knowledge of Welbeck has been useful to +me. It has enabled me to be useful to others. I look back upon that +allotment of my destiny which first led me to his door, with gratitude +and pleasure. + +"Would to heaven," continued I, somewhat changing my tone, "intercourse +with Welbeck had been as harmless to all others as it has been to me! +that no injury to fortune and fame, and innocence and life, had been +incurred by others greater than has fallen upon my head! There is one +being, whose connection with him has not been utterly dissimilar in its +origin and circumstances to mine, though the catastrophe has, indeed, +been widely and mournfully different. + +"And yet, within this moment, a thought has occurred from which I derive +some consolation and some hope. You, dear madam, are rich. These +spacious apartments, this plentiful accommodation, are yours. You have +enough for your own gratification and convenience, and somewhat to +spare. Will you take to your protecting arms, to your hospitable roof, +an unhappy girl whom the arts of Welbeck have robbed of fortune, +reputation, and honour, who is now languishing in poverty, weeping over +the lifeless remains of her babe, surrounded by the agents of vice, and +trembling on the verge of infamy?" + +"What can this mean?" replied the lady. "Of whom do you speak?" + +"You shall know her. You shall be apprized of her claims to your +compassion. Her story, as far as is known to me, I will faithfully +repeat to you. She is a stranger; an Italian; her name is Clemenza +Lodi." + +"Clemenza Lodi! Good heaven!" exclaimed Mrs. Wentworth; "why, surely--it +cannot be. And yet--is it possible that you are that person?" + +"I do not comprehend you, madam." + +"A friend has related a transaction of a strange sort. It is scarcely an +hour since she told it me. The name of Clemenza Lodi was mentioned in +it, and a young man of most singular deportment was described. But tell +me how you were engaged on Thursday morning." + +"I was coming to this city from a distance. I stopped ten minutes at the +house of----" + +"Mrs. Villars?" + +"The same. Perhaps you know her and her character. Perhaps you can +confirm or rectify my present opinions concerning her. It is there that +the unfortunate Clemenza abides. It is thence that I wish her to be +speedily removed." + +"I have heard of you; of your conduct upon that occasion." + +"Of me?" answered I, eagerly. "Do you know that woman?" So saying, I +produced the card which I had received from her, and on which her name +was written. + +"I know her well. She is my countrywoman and my friend." + +"Your friend? Then she is good; she is innocent; she is generous. Will +she be a sister, a protectress, to Clemenza? Will you exhort her to a +deed of charity? Will you be, yourself, an example of beneficence? +Direct me to Miss Fielding, I beseech you. I have called on her already, +but in vain, and there is no time to be lost." + +"Why are you so precipitate? What would you do?" + +"Take her away from that house instantly--bring her hither--place her +under your protection--give her Mrs. Wentworth for a counsellor--a +friend--a mother. Shall I do this? Shall I hie thither to-day, this very +hour--now? Give me your consent, and she shall be with you before noon." + +"By no means," replied she, with earnestness. "You are too hasty. An +affair of so much importance cannot be despatched in a moment. There are +many difficulties and doubts to be first removed." + +"Let them be reserved for the future. Withhold not your helping hand +till the struggle has disappeared forever. Think on the gulf that is +already gaping to swallow her. This is no time to hesitate and falter. I +will tell you her story, but not now; we will postpone it till +to-morrow, and first secure her from impending evils. She shall tell it +you herself. In an hour I will bring her hither, and she herself shall +recount to you her sorrows. Will you let me?" + +"Your behaviour is extraordinary. I can scarcely tell whether this +simplicity be real or affected. One would think that your common sense +would show you the impropriety of your request. To admit under my roof a +woman notoriously dishonoured, and from an infamous house----" + +"My dearest madam! How can you reflect upon the situation without +irresistible pity? I see that you are thoroughly aware of her past +calamity and her present danger. Do not these urge you to make haste to +her relief? Can any lot be more deplorable than hers? Can any state be +more perilous? Poverty is not the only evil that oppresses or that +threatens her. The scorn of the world, and her own compunction, the +death of the fruit of her error and the witness of her shame, are not +the worst. She is exposed to the temptations of the profligate; while +she remains with Mrs. Villars, her infamy accumulates; her further +debasement is facilitated; her return to reputation and to virtue is +obstructed by new bars." + +"How know I that her debasement is not already complete and +irremediable? She is a mother, but not a wife. How came she thus? Is her +being Welbeck's prostitute no proof of her guilt?" + +"Alas! I know not. I believe her not very culpable; I know her to be +unfortunate; to have been robbed and betrayed. You are a stranger to her +history. I am myself imperfectly acquainted with it. + +"But let me tell you the little that I know. Perhaps my narrative may +cause you to think of her as I do." + +She did not object to this proposal, and I immediately recounted all +that I had gained from my own observations, or from Welbeck himself, +respecting this forlorn girl. Having finished my narrative, I proceeded +thus:-- + +"Can you hesitate to employ that power which was given you for good +ends, to rescue this sufferer? Take her to your home; to your bosom; to +your confidence. Keep aloof those temptations which beset her in her +present situation. Restore her to that purity which her desolate +condition, her ignorance, her misplaced gratitude and the artifices of a +skilful dissembler, have destroyed, if it be destroyed; for how know we +under what circumstances her ruin was accomplished? With what pretences, +or appearances, or promises, she was won to compliance?" + +"True. I confess my ignorance; but ought not that ignorance to be +removed before she makes a part of my family?" + +"Oh, no! It may be afterwards removed. It cannot be removed before. By +bringing her hither you shield her, at least, from future and possible +evils. Here you can watch her conduct and sift her sentiments +conveniently and at leisure. Should she prove worthy of your charity, +how justly may you congratulate yourself on your seasonable efforts in +her cause! If she prove unworthy, you may then demean yourself according +to her demerits." + +"I must reflect upon it.--To-morrow----" + +"Let me prevail on you to admit her at once, and without delay. This +very moment may be the critical one. To-day we may exert ourselves with +success, but to-morrow all our efforts may be fruitless. Why fluctuate, +why linger, when so much good may be done, and no evil can possibly be +incurred? It requires but a word from you; you need not move a finger. +Your house is large. You have chambers vacant and convenient. Consent +only that your door shall not be barred against her; that you will treat +her with civility: to carry your kindness into effect; to persuade her +to attend me hither and to place herself in your care, shall be my +province." + +These and many similar entreaties and reasonings were ineffectual. Her +general disposition was kind, but she was unaccustomed to strenuous or +sudden exertions. To admit the persuasions of such an advocate to so +uncommon a scheme as that of sharing her house with a creature thus +previously unknown to her, thus loaded with suspicion and with obloquy, +was not possible. + +I at last forbore importunity, and requested her to tell me when I might +expect to meet with Mrs. Fielding at her lodgings. Inquiry was made to +what end I sought an interview. I made no secret of my purpose. + +"Are you mad, young man?" she exclaimed. "Mrs. Fielding has already been +egregiously imprudent. On the faith of an ancient slight acquaintance +with Mrs. Villars in Europe, she suffered herself to be decoyed into a +visit. Instead of taking warning by numerous tokens of the real +character of that woman, in her behaviour and in that of her visitants, +she consented to remain there one night. The next morning took place +that astonishing interview with you which she has since described to me. +She is now warned against the like indiscretion. And, pray, what +benevolent scheme would you propose to her?" + +"Has she property? Is she rich?" + +"She is. Unhappily, perhaps, for her, she is absolute mistress of her +fortune, and has neither guardian nor parent to control her in the use +of it." + +"Has she virtue? Does she know the value of affluence and a fair fame? +And will not she devote a few dollars to rescue a fellow-creature from +indigence and infamy and vice? Surely she will. She will hazard nothing +by the boon. I will be her almoner. I will provide the wretched stranger +with food and raiment and dwelling; I will pay for all, if Mrs. +Fielding, from her superfluity, will supply the means. Clemenza shall +owe life and honour to your friend, till I am able to supply the needful +sum from my own stock." + +While thus speaking, my companion gazed at me with steadfastness:--"I +know not what to make of you. Your language and ideas are those of a +lunatic. Are you acquainted with Mrs. Fielding?" + +"Yes. I have seen her two days ago, and she has invited me to see her +again." + +"And on the strength of this acquaintance you expect to be her almoner? +To be the medium of her charity?" + +"I desire to save her trouble; to make charity as light and easy as +possible. 'Twill be better if she perform those offices herself. 'Twill +redound more to the credit of her reason and her virtue. But I solicit +her benignity only in the cause of Clemenza. For her only do I wish at +present to call forth her generosity and pity." + +"And do you imagine she will intrust her money to one of your age and +sex, whom she knows so imperfectly, to administer to the wants of one +whom she found in such a house as Mrs. Villars's? She never will. She +mentioned her imprudent engagement to meet you, but she is now warned +against the folly of such confidence. + +"You have told me plausible stories of yourself and of this Clemenza. I +cannot say that I disbelieve them, but I know the ways of the world too +well to bestow implicit faith so easily. You are an extraordinary young +man. You may possibly be honest. Such a one as you, with your education +and address, may possibly have passed all your life in a hovel; but it +is scarcely credible, let me tell you. I believe most of the facts +respecting my nephew, because my knowledge of him before his flight +would enable me to detect your falsehood; but there must be other proofs +besides an innocent brow and a voluble tongue, to make me give full +credit to your pretensions. + +"I have no claim upon Welbeck which can embarrass you. On that score, +you are free from any molestation from me or my friends. I have +suspected you of being an accomplice in some vile plot, and am now +inclined to acquit you; but that is all that you must expect from me, +till your character be established by other means than your own +assertions. I am engaged at present, and must therefore request you to +put an end to your visit." + +This strain was much unlike the strain which preceded it. I imagined, by +the mildness of her tone and manners, that her unfavourable +prepossessions were removed; but they seemed to have suddenly regained +their pristine force. I was somewhat disconcerted by this unexpected +change. I stood for a minute silent and irresolute. + +Just then a knock was heard at the door, and presently entered that very +female whom I had met with at Villars's. I caught her figure as I +glanced through the window. Mrs. Wentworth darted at me many significant +glances, which commanded me to withdraw; but, with this object in view, +it was impossible. + +As soon as she entered, her eyes were fixed upon me. Certain +recollections naturally occurred at that moment, and made her cheeks +glow. Some confusion reigned for a moment, but was quickly dissipated. +She did not notice me, but exchanged salutations with her friend. + +All this while I stood near the window, in a situation not a little +painful. Certain tremors which I had not been accustomed to feel, and +which seemed to possess a mystical relation to the visitant, disabled me +at once from taking my leave, or from performing any useful purpose by +staying. At length, struggling for composure, I approached her, and, +showing her the card she had given me, said,-- + +"Agreeably to this direction, I called an hour ago, at your lodgings. I +found you not. I hope you will permit me to call once more. When shall +I expect to meet you at home?" + +Her eyes were cast on the floor. A kind of indirect attention was fixed +on Mrs. Wentworth, serving to intimidate and check her. At length she +said, in an irresolute voice, "I shall be at home this evening." + +"And this evening," replied I, "I will call to see you." So saying, I +left the house. + +This interval was tedious, but was to be endured with equanimity. I was +impatient to be gone to Baltimore, and hoped to be able to set out by +the dawn of next day. Meanwhile, I was necessarily to perform something +with respect to Clemenza. + +After dinner I accompanied Mrs. Stevens to visit Miss Carlton. I was +eager to see a woman who could bear adversity in the manner which my +friend had described. + +She met us at the door of her apartment. Her seriousness was not abated +by her smiles of affability and welcome. "My friend!" whispered I, "how +truly lovely is this Miss Carlton! Are the heart and the intelligence +within worthy of these features?" + +"Yes, they are. The account of her employments, of her resignation to +the ill fate of the brother whom she loves, proves that they are." + +My eyes were riveted to her countenance and person. I felt +uncontrollable eagerness to speak to her, and to gain her good opinion. + +"You must know this young man, my dear Miss Carlton," said my friend, +looking at me; "he is my husband's friend, and professes a great desire +to be yours. You must not treat him as a mere stranger, for he knows +your character and situation already, as well as that of your brother." + +She looked at me with benignity:--"I accept his friendship willingly and +gratefully, and shall endeavour to convince him that his good opinion is +not misplaced." + +There now ensued a conversation somewhat general, in which this young +woman showed a mind vigorous from exercise and unembarrassed by care. +She affected no concealment of her own condition, of her wants, or her +comforts. She laid no stress upon misfortunes, but contrived to deduce +some beneficial consequence to herself, and some motive for gratitude to +Heaven, from every wayward incident that had befallen her. + +This demeanour emboldened me, at length, to inquire into the cause of +her brother's imprisonment, and the nature of his debt. + +She answered frankly and without hesitation:--"It is a debt of his +father's, for which he made himself responsible during his father's +life. The act was generous but imprudent, as the event has shown; +though, at the time, the unhappy effects could not be foreseen. + +"My father," continued she, "was arrested by his creditor, at a time +when the calmness and comforts of his own dwelling were necessary to his +health. The creditor was obdurate, and would release him upon no +condition but that of receiving a bond from my brother, by which he +engaged to pay the debt at several successive times and in small +portions. All these instalments were discharged with great difficulty +indeed, but with sufficient punctuality, except the last, to which my +brother's earnings were not adequate." + +"How much is the debt?" + +"Four hundred dollars." + +"And is the state of the creditor such as to make the loss of four +hundred dollars of more importance to him than the loss of liberty to +your brother?" + +She answered, smiling, "That is a very abstract view of things. On such +a question you and I might, perhaps, easily decide in favour of my +brother; but would there not be some danger of deciding partially? His +conduct is a proof of his decision, and there is no power to change it." + +"Will not argument change it? Methinks in so plain a case I should be +able to convince him. You say he is rich and childless. His annual +income is ten times more than this sum. Your brother cannot pay the debt +while in prison; whereas, if at liberty, he might slowly and finally +discharge it. If his humanity would not yield, his avarice might be +brought to acquiesce." + +"But there is another passion which you would find it somewhat harder to +subdue, and that is his vengeance. He thinks himself wronged, and +imprisons my brother, not to enforce payment, but to inflict misery. If +you could persuade him that there is no hardship in imprisonment, you +would speedily gain the victory; but that could not be attempted +consistently with truth. In proportion to my brother's suffering is his +gratification." + +"You draw an odious and almost incredible portrait." + +"And yet such a one would serve for the likeness of almost every second +man we meet." + +"And is such your opinion of mankind? Your experience must surely have +been of a rueful tenor to justify such hard thoughts of the rest of your +species." + +"By no means. It has been what those whose situation disables them from +looking further than the surface of things would regard as unfortunate; +but, if my goods and evils were equitably balanced, the former would be +the weightiest. I have found kindness and goodness in great numbers, but +have likewise met prejudice and rancor in many. My opinion of Farquhar +is not lightly taken up. I saw him yesterday, and the nature of his +motives in the treatment of my brother was plain enough." + +Here this topic was succeeded by others, and the conversation ceased not +till the hour had arrived on which I had preconcerted to visit Mrs. +Fielding. I left my two friends for this purpose. + +I was admitted to Mrs. Fielding's presence without scruple or +difficulty. There were two females in her company, and one of the other +sex, well-dressed, elderly, and sedate persons. Their discourse turned +upon political topics, with which, as you know, I have but slight +acquaintance. They talked of fleets and armies, of Robespierre and Pitt, +of whom I had only a newspaper-knowledge. + +In a short time the women rose, and, huddling on their cloaks, +disappeared, in company with the gentleman. Being thus left alone with +Mrs. Fielding, some embarrassment was mutually betrayed. With much +hesitation, which, however, gradually disappeared, my companion, at +length, began the conversation:-- + +"You met me lately, in a situation, sir, on which I look back with +trembling and shame, but not with any self-condemnation. I was led into +it without any fault, unless a too hasty confidence may be styled a +fault. I had known Mrs. Villars in England, where she lived with an +untainted reputation, at least; and the sight of my countrywoman, in a +foreign land, awakened emotions in the indulgence of which I did not +imagine there was either any guilt or any danger. She invited me to see +her at her house with so much urgency and warmth, and solicited me to +take a place immediately in a chaise in which she had come to the city, +that I too incautiously complied. + +"You are a stranger to me, and I am unacquainted with your character. +What little I have seen of your deportment, and what little I have +lately heard concerning you from Mrs. Wentworth, do not produce +unfavourable impressions; but the apology I have made was due to my own +reputation, and should have been offered to you whatever your character +had been." There she stopped. + +"I came not hither," said I, "to receive an apology. Your demeanour, on +our first interview, shielded you sufficiently from any suspicions or +surmises that I could form. What you have now mentioned was likewise +mentioned by your friend, and was fully believed upon her authority. My +purpose, in coming, related not to you, but to another. I desired merely +to interest your generosity and justice on behalf of one whose destitute +and dangerous condition may lay claim to your compassion and your +succour." + +"I comprehend you," said she, with an air of some perplexity. "I know +the claims of that person." + +"And will you comply with them?" + +"In what manner can I serve her?" + +"By giving her the means of living." + +"Does she not possess them already?" + +"She is destitute. Her dependence was wholly placed upon one that is +dead, by whom her person was dishonoured and her fortune embezzled." + +"But she still lives. She is not turned into the street. She is not +destitute of home." + +"But what a home!" + +"Such as she may choose to remain in." + +"She cannot choose it. She must not choose it. She remains through +ignorance, or through the incapacity of leaving it." + +"But how shall she be persuaded to a change?" + +"I will persuade her. I will fully explain her situation. I will supply +her with a new home." + +"You will persuade her to go with you, and to live at a home of your +providing and on your bounty?" + +"Certainly." + +"Would that change be worthy of a cautious person? Would it benefit her +reputation? Would it prove her love of independence?" + +"My purposes are good. I know not why she should suspect them. But I am +only anxious to be the instrument. Let her be indebted to one of her own +sex, of unquestionable reputation. Admit her into this house. Invite her +to your arms. Cherish and console her as your sister." + +"Before I am convinced that she deserves it? And even then, what regard +shall I, young, unmarried, independent, affluent, pay to my own +reputation in harbouring a woman in these circumstances?" + +"But you need not act yourself. Make me your agent and almoner. Only +supply her with the means of subsistence through me." + +"Would you have me act a clandestine part? Hold meetings with one of +your sex, and give him money for a purpose which I must hide from the +world? Is it worth while to be a dissembler and impostor? And will not +such conduct incur more dangerous surmises and suspicions than would +arise from acting openly and directly? You will forgive me for reminding +you, likewise, that it is particularly incumbent upon those in my +situation to be circumspect in their intercourse with men and with +strangers. This is the second time that I have seen you. My knowledge of +you is extremely dubious and imperfect, and such as would make the +conduct you prescribe to me, in a high degree, rash and culpable. You +must not, therefore, expect me to pursue it." + +These words were delivered with an air of firmness and dignity. I was +not insensible to the truth of her representations. "I confess," said I, +"what you have said makes me doubt the propriety of my proposal; yet I +would fain be of service to her. Cannot you point out some practicable +method?" + +She was silent and thoughtful, and seemed indisposed to answer my +question. + +"I had set my heart upon success in this negotiation," continued I, "and +could not imagine any obstacle to its success; but I find my ignorance +of the world's ways much greater than I had previously expected. You +defraud yourself of all the happiness redounding from the act of making +others happy. You sacrifice substance to show, and are more anxious to +prevent unjust aspersions from lighting on yourself, than to rescue a +fellow-creature from guilt and infamy. + +"You are rich, and abound in all the conveniences and luxuries of life. +A small portion of your superfluity would obviate the wants of a being +not less worthy than yourself. It is not avarice or aversion to labour +that makes you withhold your hand. It is dread of the sneers and +surmises of malevolence and ignorance. + +"I will not urge you further at present. Your determination to be wise +should not be hasty. Think upon the subject calmly and sedately, and +form your resolution in the course of three days. At the end of that +period I will visit you again." So saying, and without waiting for +comment or answer, I withdrew. + + + + +CHAPTER XL. + + +I mounted the stage-coach at daybreak the next day, in company with a +sallow Frenchman from St. Domingo, his fiddle-case, an ape, and two +female blacks. The Frenchman, after passing the suburbs, took out his +violin and amused himself with humming to his own _tweedle-tweedle_. The +monkey now and then munched an apple, which was given to him from a +basket by the blacks, who gazed with stupid wonder, and an exclamatory +_La! La!_ upon the passing scenery, or chattered to each other in a sort +of open-mouthed, half-articulate, monotonous, singsong jargon. + +The man looked seldom either on this side or that; and spoke only to +rebuke the frolics of the monkey, with a "Tenez! Dominique! Prenez +garde! Diable noir!" + +As to me, my thought was busy in a thousand ways. I sometimes gazed at +the faces of my _four_ companions, and endeavoured to discern the +differences and samenesses between them. I took an exact account of the +features, proportions, looks, and gestures of the monkey, the Congolese, +and the Creole Gaul. I compared them together, and examined them apart. +I looked at them in a thousand different points of view, and pursued, +untired and unsatiated, those trains of reflections which began at each +change of tone, feature, and attitude. + +I marked the country as it successively arose before me, and found +endless employment in examining the shape and substance of the fence, +the barn, and the cottage, the aspect of earth and of heaven. How great +are the pleasures of health and of mental activity! + +My chief occupation, however, related to the scenes into which I was +about to enter. My imaginations were, of course, crude and inadequate; +and I found an uncommon gratification in comparing realities, as they +successively occurred, with the pictures which my wayward fancy had +depicted. + +I will not describe my dreams. My proper task is to relate the truth. +Neither shall I dwell upon the images suggested by the condition of the +country through which I passed. I will confine myself to mentioning the +transactions connected with the purpose of my journey. + +I reached Baltimore at night. I was not so fatigued but that I could +ramble through the town. I intended, at present, merely the +gratification of a stranger's curiosity. My visit to Mrs. Watson and her +brother I designed should take place on the morrow. The evening of my +arrival I deemed an unseasonable time. + +While roving about, however, it occurred to me, that it might not be +impolitic to find the way to their habitation even now. My purposes of +general curiosity would equally be served whichever way my steps were +bent; and to trace the path to their dwelling would save me the trouble +of inquiries and interrogations to-morrow. + +When I looked forward to an interview with the wife of Watson, and to +the subject which would be necessarily discussed at that interview, I +felt a trembling and misgiving at my heart. "Surely," thought I, "it +will become me to exercise immeasurable circumspection and address; and +yet how little are these adapted to the impetuosity and candour of my +nature! + +"How am I to introduce myself? What am I to tell her? That I was a sort +of witness to the murder of her husband? That I received from the hand +of his assassin the letter which I afterwards transmitted to her? and, +from the same hands, the bills contained in his girdle? + +"How will she start and look aghast! What suspicions will she harbour? +What inquiries shall be made of me? How shall they be disarmed and +eluded, or answered? Deep consideration will be necessary before I trust +myself to such an interview. The coming night shall be devoted to +reflection upon this subject." + +From these thoughts I proceeded to inquiries for the street mentioned in +the advertisement, where Mrs. Watson was said to reside. The street, +and, at length, the habitation, was found. Having reached a station +opposite, I paused and surveyed the mansion. It was a wooden edifice of +two stories, humble, but neat. You ascended to the door by several stone +steps. Of the two lower windows, the shutters of one were closed, but +those of the other were open. Though late in the evening, there was no +appearance of light or fire within. + +Beside the house was a painted fence, through which was a gate leading +to the back of the building. Guided by the impulse of the moment, I +crossed the street to the gate, and, lifting the latch, entered the +paved alley, on one side of which was a paled fence, and on the other +the house, looking through two windows into the alley. + +The first window was dark like those in front; but at the second a light +was discernible. I approached it, and, looking through, beheld a plain +but neat apartment, in which parlour, kitchen, and nursery seemed to be +united. A fire burned cheerfully in the chimney, over which was a +tea-kettle. On the hearth sat a smiling and playful cherub of a boy, +tossing something to a black girl who sat opposite, and whose innocent +and regular features wanted only a different hue to make them beautiful. +Near it, in a rocking-chair, with a sleeping babe in her lap, sat a +female figure in plain but neat and becoming attire. Her posture +permitted half her face to be seen, and saved me from any danger of +being observed. + +This countenance was full of sweetness and benignity, but the sadness +that veiled its lustre was profound. Her eyes were now fixed upon the +fire and were moist with the tears of remembrance, while she sung, in +low and scarcely-audible strains, an artless lullaby. + +This spectacle exercised a strange power over my feelings. While +occupied in meditating on the features of the mother, I was unaware of +my conspicuous situation. The black girl, having occasion to change her +situation, in order to reach the ball which was thrown at her, unluckily +caught a glance of my figure through the glass. In a tone of half +surprise and half terror, she cried out, "Oh! see dare! a man!" + +I was tempted to draw suddenly back, but a second thought showed me the +impropriety of departing thus abruptly and leaving behind me some alarm. +I felt a sort of necessity for apologizing for my intrusion into these +precincts, and hastened to a door that led into the same apartment. I +knocked. A voice somewhat confused bade me enter. It was not till I +opened the door and entered the room, that I fully saw in what +embarrassments I had incautiously involved myself. + +I could scarcely obtain sufficient courage to speak, and gave a confused +assent to the question, "Have you business with me, sir?" She offered me +a chair, and I sat down. She put the child, not yet awakened, into the +arms of the black, who kissed it and rocked it in her arms with great +satisfaction, and, resuming her seat, looked at me with inquisitiveness +mingled with complacency. + +After a moment's pause, I said, "I was directed to this house as the +abode of Mr. Ephraim Williams. Can he be seen, madam?" + +"He is not in town at present. If you will leave a message with me, I +will punctually deliver it." + +The thought suddenly occurred, whether any more was needful than merely +to leave the bills suitably enclosed, as they already were, in a packet. +Thus all painful explanations might be avoided, and I might have reason +to congratulate myself on his seasonable absence. Actuated by these +thoughts, I drew forth the packet, and put it into her hand, saying, "I +will leave this in your possession, and must earnestly request you to +keep it safe until you can deliver it into his own hands." + +Scarcely had I said this before new suggestions occurred. Was it right +to act in this clandestine and mysterious manner? Should I leave these +persons in uncertainty respecting the fate of a husband and a brother? +What perplexities, misunderstandings, and suspenses might not grow out +of this uncertainty? and ought they not to be precluded at any hazard to +my own safety or good name? + +These sentiments made me involuntarily stretch forth my hand to retake +the packet. This gesture, and other significances in my manners, joined +to a trembling consciousness in herself, filled my companion with all +the tokens of confusion and fear. She alternately looked at me and at +the paper. Her trepidation increased, and she grew pale. These emotions +were counteracted by a strong effort. + +At length she said, falteringly, "I will take good care of them, and +will give them to my brother." + +She rose and placed them in a drawer, after which she resumed her seat. + +On this occasion all my wariness forsook me. I cannot explain why my +perplexity and the trouble of my thoughts were greater upon this than +upon similar occasions. However it be, I was incapable of speaking, and +fixed my eyes upon the floor. A sort of electrical sympathy pervaded my +companion, and terror and anguish were strongly manifested in the +glances which she sometimes stole at me. We seemed fully to understand +each other without the aid of words. + +This imbecility could not last long. I gradually recovered my composure, +and collected my scattered thoughts. I looked at her with seriousness, +and steadfastly spoke:--"Are you the wife of Amos Watson?" + +She started:--"I am indeed. Why do you ask? Do you know any thing +of----?" There her voice failed. + +I replied with quickness, "Yes. I am fully acquainted with his destiny." + +"Good God!" she exclaimed, in a paroxysm of surprise, and bending +eagerly forward, "my husband is then alive! This packet is from him. +Where is he? When have you seen him?" + +"'Tis a long time since." + +"But where, where is he now? Is he well? Will he return to me?" + +"Never." + +"Merciful Heaven!" (looking upwards and clasping her hands,) "I thank +thee at least for his life! But why has he forsaken me? Why will he not +return?" + +"For a good reason," said I, with augmented solemnity, "he will never +return to thee. Long ago was he laid in the cold grave." + +She shrieked; and, at the next moment, sunk in a swoon upon the floor. I +was alarmed. The two children shrieked, and ran about the room terrified +and unknowing what they did. I was overwhelmed with somewhat like +terror, yet I involuntarily raised the mother in my arms, and cast about +for the means of recalling her from this fit. + +Time to effect this had not elapsed, when several persons, apparently +Mrs. Watson's neighbours, and raised by the outcries of the girls, +hastily entered the room. They looked at me with mingled surprise and +suspicion; but my attitude, being not that of an injurer but helper; my +countenance, which showed the pleasure their entrance, at this critical +moment, afforded me; and my words, in which I besought their assistance, +and explained, in some degree, and briefly, the cause of those +appearances, removed their ill thoughts. + +Presently, the unhappy woman, being carried by the new-comers into a +bedroom adjoining, recovered her sensibility. I only waited for this. I +had done my part. More information would be useless to her, and not to +be given by me, at least in the present audience, without embarrassment +and peril. I suddenly determined to withdraw, and this, the attention of +the company being otherwise engaged, I did without notice. I returned to +my inn, and shut myself up in my chamber. Such was the change which, +undesigned, unforeseen, half an hour had wrought in my situation. My +cautious projects had perished in their conception. That which I had +deemed so arduous, to require such circumspect approaches, such +well-concerted speeches, was done. + +I had started up before this woman as if from the pores of the ground. I +had vanished with the same celerity, but had left her in possession of +proofs sufficient that I was neither spectre nor demon. "I will visit +her," said I, "again. I will see her brother, and know the full effect +of my disclosure. I will tell them all that I myself know. Ignorance +would be no less injurious to them than to myself; but, first, I will +see the Maurices." + + + + +CHAPTER XLI. + + +Next morning I arose betimes, and equipped myself without delay. I had +eight or ten miles to walk, so far from the town being the residence of +these people; and I forthwith repaired to their dwelling. The persons +whom I desired to see were known to me only by name, and by their place +of abode. It was a mother and her three daughters to whom I now carried +the means not only of competence but riches; means which they, no doubt, +had long ago despaired of regaining, and which, among all possible +messengers, one of my age and guise would be the least suspected of +being able to restore. + +I arrived, through intricate ways, at eleven o'clock, at the house of +Mrs. Maurice. It was a neat dwelling, in a very fanciful and rustic +style, in the bosom of a valley, which, when decorated by the verdure +and blossoms of the coming season, must possess many charms. At present +it was naked and dreary. + +As I approached it, through a long avenue, I observed two female +figures, walking arm-in-arm and slowly to and fro, in the path in which +I now was. "These," said I, "are daughters of the family. Graceful, +well-dressed, fashionable girls they seem at this distance. May they be +deserving of the good tidings which I bring!" Seeing them turn towards +the house, I mended my pace, that I might overtake them and request +their introduction of me to their mother. + +As I more nearly approached, they again turned; and, perceiving me, they +stood as if in expectation of my message. I went up to them. + +A single glance, cast at each, made me suspect that they were not +sisters; but, somewhat to my disappointment, there was nothing highly +prepossessing in the countenance of either. They were what is every day +met with, though less embellished by brilliant drapery and turban, in +markets and streets. An air somewhat haughty, somewhat supercilious, +lessened still more their attractions. These defects, however, were +nothing to me. + +I inquired, of her that seemed to be the elder of the two, for Mrs. +Maurice. + +"She is indisposed," was the cold reply. + +"That is unfortunate. Is it not possible to see her?" + +"No;" with still more gravity. + +I was somewhat at a loss how to proceed. A pause ensued. At length the +same lady resumed, "What's your business? You can leave your message +with me." + +"With nobody but her. If she be not _very_ indisposed----" + +"She is very indisposed," interrupted she, peevishly. "If you cannot +leave your message, you may take it back again, for she must not be +disturbed." + +This was a singular reception. I was disconcerted and silent. I knew not +what to say. "Perhaps," I at last observed, "some other time----" + +"No," (with increasing heat,) "no other time. She is more likely to be +worse than better. Come, Betsy," said she, taking hold of her +companion's arm; and, hieing into the house, shut the door after her, +and disappeared. I stood, at the bottom of the steps, confounded at such +strange and unexpected treatment. I could not withdraw till my purpose +was accomplished. After a moment's pause, I stepped to the door, and +pulled the bell. A negro came, of a very unpropitious aspect, and, +opening the door, looked at me in silence. To my question, Was Mrs. +Maurice to be seen? he made some answer, in a jargon which I could not +understand; but his words were immediately followed by an unseen person +within the house:--"Mrs. Maurice can't be seen by anybody. Come in, +Cato, and shut the door." This injunction was obeyed by Cato without +ceremony. + +Here was a dilemma! I came with ten thousand pounds in my hands, to +bestow freely on these people, and such was the treatment I received. "I +must adopt," said I, "a new mode." + +I lifted the latch, without a second warning, and, Cato having +disappeared, went into a room, the door of which chanced to be open, on +my right hand. I found within the two females whom I had accosted in the +portico. I now addressed myself to the younger:--"This intrusion, when I +have explained the reason of it, will, I hope, be forgiven. I come, +madam----" + +"Yes," interrupted the other, with a countenance suffused by +indignation, "I know very well whom you come from, and what it is that +prompts this insolence; but your employer shall see that we have not +sunk so low as he imagines. Cato! Bob! I say." + +"My employer, madam! I see you labour under some great mistake. I have +no employer. I come from a great distance. I come to bring intelligence +of the utmost importance to your family. I come to benefit and not to +injure you." + +By this time, Bob and Cato, two sturdy blacks, entered the room. "Turn +this person," said the imperious lady, regardless of my explanations, +"out of the house. Don't you hear me?" she continued, observing that +they looked one upon the other and hesitated. + +"Surely, madam," said I, "you are precipitate. You are treating like an +enemy one who will prove himself your mother's best friend." + +"Will you leave the house?" she exclaimed, quite beside herself with +anger. "Villains! why don't you do as I bid you?" + +The blacks looked upon each other, as if waiting for an example. Their +habitual deference for every thing _white_, no doubt, held their hands +from what they regarded as a profanation. At last Bob said, in a +whining, beseeching tone, "Why, missee, massa buckra wanna go for doo, +dan he winna go fo' wee." + +The lady now burst into tears of rage. She held out her hand, +menacingly. "Will you leave the house?" + +"Not willingly," said I, in a mild tone. "I came too far to return with +the business that brought me unperformed. I am persuaded, madam, you +mistake my character and my views. I have a message to deliver your +mother which deeply concerns her and your happiness, if you are her +daughter. I merely wished to see her, and leave with her a piece of +important news; news in which her fortune is deeply interested." + +These words had a wonderful effect upon the young lady. Her anger was +checked. "Good God!" she exclaimed, "are you Watson?" + +"No; I am only Watson's representative, and come to do all that Watson +could do if he were present." + +She was now importunate to know my business. + +"My business lies with Mrs. Maurice. Advertisements, which I have seen, +direct me to her, and to this house; and to her only shall I deliver my +message." + +"Perhaps," said she, with a face of apology, "I have mistaken you. Mrs. +Maurice is my mother. She is really indisposed, but I can stand in her +place on this occasion." + +"You cannot represent her in this instance. If I cannot have access to +her now, I must go; and shall return when you are willing to grant it." + +"Nay," replied she, "she is not, perhaps, so very sick but that I will +go, and see if she will admit you." So saying, she left me for three +minutes; and, returning, said her mother wished to see me. + +I followed up-stairs, at her request; and, entering an ill-furnished +chamber, found, seated in an arm-chair, a lady seemingly in years, pale, +and visibly infirm. The lines of her countenance were far from laying +claim to my reverence. It was too much like the daughter's. + +She looked at me, at my entrance, with great eagerness, and said, in a +sharp tone, "Pray, friend, what is it you want with me? Make haste; tell +your story, and begone." + +"My story is a short one, and easily told. Amos Watson was your agent in +Jamaica. He sold an estate belonging to you, and received the money." + +"He did," said she, attempting ineffectually to rise from her seat, and +her eyes beaming with a significance that shocked me; "he did, the +villain, and purloined the money, to the ruin of me and my daughters. +But if there be justice on earth it will overtake him. I trust I shall +have the pleasure one day--I hope to hear he's hanged. Well, but go on, +friend. He _did_ sell it, I tell you." + +"He sold it for ten thousand pounds," I resumed, "and invested this sum +in bills of exchange. Watson is dead. These bills came into my hands. I +was lately informed, by the public papers, who were the real owners, and +have come from Philadelphia with no other view than to restore them to +you. There they are," continued I, placing them in her lap, entire and +untouched. + +She seized the papers, and looked at me and at her daughter, by turns, +with an air of one suddenly bewildered. She seemed speechless, and, +growing suddenly more ghastly pale, leaned her head back upon the chair. +The daughter screamed, and hastened to support the languid parent, who +difficultly articulated, "Oh, I am sick; sick to death. Put me on the +bed." + +I was astonished and affrighted at this scene. Some of the domestics, of +both colours, entered, and gazed at me with surprise. Involuntarily I +withdrew, and returned to the room below, into which I had first +entered, and which I now found deserted. + +I was for some time at a loss to guess at the cause of these +appearances. At length it occurred to me, that joy was the source of the +sickness that had seized Mrs. Maurice. The abrupt recovery of what had +probably been deemed irretrievable would naturally produce this effect +upon a mind of a certain texture. + +I was deliberating whether to stay or go, when the daughter entered the +room, and, after expressing some surprise at seeing me, whom she +supposed to have retired, told me that her mother wished to see me again +before my departure. In this request there was no kindness. All was +cold, supercilious, and sullen. I obeyed the summons without speaking. + +I found Mrs. Maurice seated in her arm-chair, much in her former guise. +Without desiring me to be seated, or relaxing aught in her asperity of +looks and tones,--"Pray, friend, how did you _come by_ these papers?" + +"I assure you, madam, they were honestly _come by_," answered I, +sedately and with half a smile; "but, if the whole is there that was +missing, the mode and time in which they came to me is matter of +concern only to myself. Is there any deficiency?" + +"I am not sure. I don't know much of these matters. There may be less. I +dare say there is. I shall know that soon. I expect a friend of mine +every minute who will look them over. I don't doubt you can give a good +account of yourself." + +"I doubt not but I can--to those who have a right to demand it. In this +case, curiosity must be very urgent indeed before I shall consent to +gratify it." + +"You must know this is a suspicious case. Watson, to-be-sure, embezzled +the money; to-be-sure, you are his accomplice." + +"Certainly," said I, "my conduct, on this occasion, proves that. What I +have brought to you, of my own accord; what I have restored to you, +fully and unconditionally, it is plain Watson embezzled, and that I was +aiding in the fraud. To restore what was never stolen always betrays the +thief. To give what might be kept without suspicion is, without doubt, +arrant knavery. To be serious, madam, in coming thus far, for this +purpose, I have done enough; and must now bid you farewell." + +"Nay, don't go yet. I have something more to say to you. My friend, I'm +sure, will be here presently. There he is;" (noticing a peal upon the +bell.) "Polly, go down, and see if that's Mr. Somers. If it is, bring +him up." The daughter went. + +I walked to the window absorbed in my own reflections. I was +disappointed and dejected. The scene before me was the unpleasing +reverse of all that my fancy, while coming hither, had foreboded. I +expected to find virtuous indigence and sorrow lifted, by my means, to +affluence and exultation. I expected to witness the tears of gratitude +and the caresses of affection. What had I found? Nothing but sordidness, +stupidity, and illiberal suspicion. + +The daughter stayed much longer than the mother's patience could endure. +She knocked against the floor with her heel. A servant came up. "Where's +Polly, you slut? It was not you, hussy, that I wanted. It was her." + +"She is talking in the parlour with a gentleman." + +"Mr. Somers, I suppose; hey, fool? Run with my compliments to him, +wench. Tell him, please walk up." + +"It is not Mr. Somers, ma'am." + +"No? Who then, saucebox? What gentleman can have any thing to do with +Polly?" + +"I don't know, ma'am." + +"Who said you did, impertinence? Run, and tell her I want her this +instant." + +The summons was not delivered, or Polly did not think proper to obey it. +Full ten minutes of thoughtful silence on my part, and of muttered +vexation and impatience on that of the old lady, elapsed before Polly's +entrance. As soon as she appeared, the mother began to complain bitterly +of her inattention and neglect; but Polly, taking no notice of her, +addressed herself to me, and told me that a gentleman below wished to +see me. I hastened down, and found a stranger, of a plain appearance, in +the parlour. His aspect was liberal and ingenuous; and I quickly +collected, from his discourse, that this was the brother-in-law of +Watson, and the companion of his last voyage. + + + + +CHAPTER XLII. + + +My eyes sparkled with pleasure at this unexpected interview, and I +willingly confessed my desire to communicate all the knowledge of his +brother's destiny which I possessed. He told me, that, returning late to +Baltimore, on the last evening, he found his sister in much agitation +and distress, which, after a time, she explained to him. She likewise +put the packets I had left into his hands. + +"I leave you to imagine," continued he, "my surprise and curiosity at +this discovery. I was, of course, impatient to see the bearer of such +extraordinary tidings. This morning, inquiring for one of your +appearance at the taverns, I was, at length, informed of your arrival +yesterday in the stage; of your going out alone in the evening; of your +subsequent return; and of your early departure this morning. +Accidentally I lighted on your footsteps; and, by suitable inquiries on +the road, have finally traced you hither. + +"You told my sister her husband was dead. You left with her papers that +were probably in his possession at the time of his death. I understand +from Miss Maurice that the bills belonging to her mother have just been +delivered to her. I presume you have no objection to clear up this +mystery." + +"To you I am anxious to unfold every thing. At this moment, or at any +time, but the sooner the more agreeable to me, I will do it." + +"This," said he, looking around him, "is no place; there is an inn, not +a hundred yards from this gate, where I have left my horse; will you go +thither?" I readily consented, and, calling for a private apartment, I +laid before this man every incident of my life connected with Welbeck +and Watson; my full, circumstantial, and explicit story appeared to +remove every doubt which he might have entertained of my integrity. + +In Williams I found a plain, good man, of a temper confiding and +affectionate. My narration being finished, he expressed, by unaffected +tokens, his wonder and his grief on account of Watson's destiny. To my +inquiries, which were made with frankness and fervour, respecting his +own and his sister's condition, he said that the situation of both was +deplorable till the recovery of this property. They had been saved from +utter ruin, from beggary and a jail, only by the generosity and lenity +of his creditors, who did not suffer the suspicious circumstances +attending Watson's disappearance to outweigh former proofs of his +probity. They had never relinquished the hopes of receiving some tidings +of their kinsman. + +I related what had just passed in the house of Mrs. Maurice, and +requested to know from him the history and character of this family. + +"They have treated you," he answered, "exactly as any one who knew them +would have predicted. The mother is narrow, ignorant, bigoted, and +avaricious. The eldest daughter, whom you saw, resembles the old lady in +many things. Age, indeed, may render the similitude complete. At +present, pride and ill-humour are her chief characteristics. + +"The youngest daughter has nothing in mind or person in common with her +family. Where they are irascible, she is patient; where they are +imperious, she is humble; where they are covetous, she is liberal; where +they are ignorant and indolent, she is studious and skilful. It is rare, +indeed, to find a young lady more amiable than Miss Fanny Maurice, or +who has had more crosses and afflictions to sustain. + +"The eldest daughter always extorted the supply of her wants, from her +parents, by threats and importunities; but the younger could never be +prevailed upon to employ the same means, and, hence, she suffered +inconveniences which, to any other girl, born to an equal rank, would +have been, to the last degree, humiliating and vexatious. To her they +only afforded new opportunities for the display of her most shining +virtues,--fortitude and charity. No instance of their sordidness or +tyranny ever stole a murmur from her. For what they had given, existence +and a virtuous education, she said they were entitled to gratitude. What +they withheld was their own, in the use of which they were not +accountable to her. She was not ashamed to owe her subsistence to her +own industry, and was only held by the pride of her family--in this +instance their pride was equal to their avarice--from seeking out some +lucrative kind of employment. Since the shock which their fortune +sustained by Watson's disappearance, she has been permitted to pursue +this plan, and she now teaches music in Baltimore for a living. No one, +however, in the highest rank, can be more generally respected and +caressed than she is." + +"But will not the recovery of this money make a favourable change in her +condition?" + +"I can hardly tell; but I am inclined to think it will not. It will not +change her mother's character. Her pride may be awakened anew, and she +may oblige Miss Fanny to relinquish her new profession, and that will be +a change to be deplored." + +"What good has been done, then, by restoring this money?" + +"If pleasure be good, you must have conferred a great deal on the +Maurices; upon the mother and two of the daughters, at least,--the only +pleasure, indeed, which their natures can receive. It is less than if +you had raised them from absolute indigence, which has not been the +case, since they had wherewithal to live upon besides their Jamaica +property. But how?" continued Williams, suddenly recollecting himself; +"have you claimed the reward promised to him who should restore these +bills?" + +"What reward?" + +"No less than a thousand dollars. It was publicly promised under the +hands of Mrs. Maurice and of Hemmings, her husband's executor." + +"Really," said I, "that circumstance escaped my attention, and I wonder +that it did; but is it too late to repair the evil?" + +"Then you have no scruple to accept the reward?" + +"Certainly not. Could you suspect me of so strange a punctilio as that?" + +"Yes; but I know not why. The story you have just finished taught me to +expect some unreasonable refinement upon that head. To be hired, to be +bribed, to do our duty is supposed by some to be degrading." + +"This is no such bribe to me. I should have acted just as I have done, +had no recompense been promised. In truth, this has been my conduct, for +I never once thought of the reward; but, now that you remind me of it, I +would gladly see it bestowed. To fulfil their engagements, in this +respect, is no more than justice in the Maurices. To one in my condition +the money will be highly useful. If these people were poor, or generous +and worthy, or if I myself were already rich, I might less repine at +their withholding it; but, things being as they are with them and with +me, it would, I think, be gross injustice in them to withhold, and in me +to refuse." + +"That injustice," said Williams, "will, on their part, I fear, be +committed. 'Tis pity you first applied to Mrs. Maurice. Nothing can be +expected from her avarice, unless it be wrested from her by a lawsuit." + +"That is a force which I shall never apply." + +"Had you gone first to Hemmings, you might, I think, have looked for +payment. He is not a mean man. A thousand dollars, he must know, is not +much to give for forty thousand. Perhaps, indeed, it may not yet be too +late. I am well known to him, and, if you please, will attend you to him +in the evening, and state your claim." + +I thankfully accepted this offer, and went with him accordingly. I found +that Hemmings had been with Mrs. Maurice in the course of the day; had +received from her intelligence of this transaction, and had entertained +the expectation of a visit from me for this very purpose. + +While Williams explained to him the nature of my claim, he scanned me +with great intentness. His austere and inflexible brow afforded me +little room to hope for success, and this hopelessness was confirmed by +his silence and perplexity when Williams had made an end. + +"To-be-sure," said he, after some pause, "the contract was explicit. +To-be-sure, the conditions on Mr. Mervyn's side have been performed. +Certain it is, the bills are entire and complete, but Mrs. Maurice will +not consent to do her part, and Mrs. Maurice, to whom the papers were +presented, is the person by whom, according to the terms of the +contract, the reward must be paid." + +"But Mrs. Maurice, you know, sir, may be legally compelled to pay," said +Williams. + +"Perhaps she may; but I tell you plainly, that she never will do the +thing without compulsion. Legal process, however, in this case, will +have other inconveniences besides delay. Some curiosity will naturally +be excited, as to the history of these papers. Watson disappeared a +twelvemonth ago. Who can avoid asking, Where have these papers been +deposited all this while, and how came this person in possession of +them?" + +"That kind of curiosity," said I, "is natural and laudable, and gladly +would I gratify it. Disclosure or concealment in that case, however, +would nowise affect my present claim. Whether a bond, legally executed, +shall be paid, does not depend upon determining whether the payer is +fondest of boiled mutton or roast beef. Truth, in the first case, has no +connection with truth in the second. So far from eluding this curiosity, +so far from studying concealment, I am anxious to publish the truth." + +"You are right, to-be-sure," said Hemmings. "Curiosity is a natural, but +only an incidental, consequence in this case. I have no reason for +desiring that it should be an unpleasant consequence to you." + +"Well, sir," said Williams, "you think that Arthur Mervyn has no remedy +in this case but the law?" + +"Mrs. Maurice, to-be-sure, will never pay but on compulsion. Mervyn +should have known his own interest better. While his left hand was +stretched out to give, his right should have been held forth to receive. +As it is, he must be contented with the aid of law. Any attorney will +prosecute on condition of receiving _half the sum_ when recovered." + +We now rose to take our leave, when Hemmings, desiring us to pause a +moment, said, "To-be-sure, in the utmost strictness of the terms of our +promise, the reward was to be paid by the person who received the +papers; but it must be owned that your claim, at any rate, is +equitable. I have money of the deceased Mr. Maurice in my hands. These +very bills are now in my possession. I will therefore pay you your due, +and take the consequences of an act of justice on myself. I was prepared +for you. Sign that receipt, and there is a _check_ for the amount." + + + + +CHAPTER XLIII. + + +This unexpected and agreeable decision was accompanied by an invitation +to supper, at which we were treated by our host with much affability and +kindness. Finding me the author of Williams's good fortune as well as +Mrs. Maurice's, and being assured by the former of his entire conviction +of the rectitude of my conduct, he laid aside all reserve and distance +with regard to me. He inquired into my prospects and wishes, and +professed his willingness to serve me. + +I dealt with equal unreserve and frankness. "I am poor," said I. "Money +for my very expenses hither I have borrowed from a friend, to whom I am, +in other respects, much indebted, and whom I expect to compensate only +by gratitude and future services. + +"In coming hither, I expected only an increase of my debts; to sink +still deeper into poverty; but happily the issue has made me rich. This +hour has given me competence, at least." + +"What! call you a thousand dollars competence?" + +"More than competence. I call it an abundance. My own ingenuity, while I +enjoy health, will enable me to live. This I regard as a fund, first to +pay my debts, and next to supply deficiencies occasioned by untoward +accidents or ill health, during the ensuing three or four years at +least." + +We parted with this new acquaintance at a late hour, and I accepted +Williams's invitation to pass the time I should spend at Baltimore, +under his sister's roof. There were several motives for prolonging this +stay. What I had heard of Miss Fanny Maurice excited strong wishes to be +personally acquainted with her. This young lady was affectionately +attached to Mrs. Watson, by whose means my wishes were easily +accomplished. + +I never was in habits of reserve, even with those whom I had no reason +to esteem. With those who claimed my admiration and affection, it was +impossible to be incommunicative. Before the end of my second interview, +both these women were mistresses of every momentous incident of my life, +and of the whole chain of my feelings and opinions, in relation to every +subject, and particularly in relation to themselves. Every topic +disconnected with these is comparatively lifeless and inert. + +I found it easy to win their attention, and to render them communicative +in their turn. As full disclosures as I had made without condition or +request, my inquiries and example easily obtained from Mrs. Watson and +Miss Maurice. The former related every event of her youth, and the +circumstances leading to her marriage. She depicted the character of her +husband, and the whole train of suspenses and inquietudes occasioned by +his disappearance. The latter did not hide from me her opinions upon any +important subject, and made me thoroughly acquainted with her actual +situation. + +This intercourse was strangely fascinating. My heart was buoyed up by a +kind of intoxication. I now found myself exalted to my genial element, +and began to taste the delights of existence. In the intercourse of +ingenuous and sympathetic minds, I found a pleasure which I had not +previously conceived. + +The time flew swiftly away, and a fortnight passed almost before I was +aware that a day had gone by. I did not forget the friends whom I had +left behind, but maintained a punctual correspondence with Stevens, to +whom I imparted all occurrences. + +The recovery of my friend's kinsman allowed him in a few days to return +home. His first object was the consolation and relief of Carlton, whom, +with much difficulty, he persuaded to take advantage of the laws in +favour of insolvent debtors. Carlton's only debt was owing to his uncle, +and, by rendering up every species of property, except his clothes and +the implements of his trade, he obtained a full discharge. In +conjunction with his sister, he once more assumed the pen, and, being +no longer burdened with debts he was unable to discharge, he resumed, +together with his pen, his cheerfulness. Their mutual industry was +sufficient for their decent and moderate subsistence. + +The chief reason for my hasty return was my anxiety respecting Clemenza +Lodi. This reason was removed by the activity and benevolence of my +friend. He paid this unfortunate stranger a visit at Mrs. Villars's. +Access was easily obtained, and he found her sunk into the deepest +melancholy. The recent loss of her child, the death of Welbeck, of which +she was soon apprized, her total dependence upon those with whom she was +placed, who, however, had always treated her without barbarity or +indecorum, were the calamities that weighed down her spirits. + +My friend easily engaged her confidence and gratitude, and prevailed +upon her to take refuge under his own roof. Mrs. Wentworth's scruples, +as well as those of Mrs. Fielding, were removed by his arguments and +entreaties, and they consented to take upon themselves, and divide +between them, the care of her subsistence and happiness. They +condescended to express much curiosity respecting me, and some interest +in my welfare, and promised to receive me, on my return, on the footing +of a friend. + +With some reluctance, I at length bade my new friends farewell, and +returned to Philadelphia. Nothing remained, before I should enter on my +projected scheme of study and employment, under the guidance of Stevens, +but to examine the situation of Eliza Hadwin with my own eyes, and, if +possible, to extricate my father from his unfortunate situation. + +My father's state had given me the deepest concern. I figured to myself +his condition, besotted by brutal appetites, reduced to beggary, shut up +in a noisome prison, and condemned to that society which must foster all +his depraved propensities. I revolved various schemes for his relief. A +few hundreds would take him from prison; but how should he be afterwards +disposed of? How should he be cured of his indolent habits? How should +he be screened from the contagion of vicious society? By what means, +consistently with my own wants and the claims of others, should I +secure to him an acceptable subsistence? + +Exhortation and example were vain. Nothing but restraint would keep him +at a distance from the haunts of brawling and debauchery. The want of +money would be no obstacle to prodigality and waste. Credit would be +resorted to as long as it would answer his demand. When that failed, he +would once more be thrown into a prison; the same means to extricate him +would have to be repeated, and money be thus put into the pockets of the +most worthless of mankind, the agents of drunkenness and blasphemy, +without any permanent advantage to my father, the principal object of my +charity. + +Though unable to fix on any plausible mode of proceeding, I determined, +at least, to discover his present condition. Perhaps something might +suggest itself, upon the spot, suited to my purpose. Without delay I +proceeded to the village of Newtown, and, alighting at the door of the +prison, inquired for my father. + +"Sawny Mervyn you want, I suppose," said the keeper. "Poor fellow! He +came into limbo in a crazy condition, and has been a burden on my hands +ever since. After lingering along for some time, he was at last kind +enough to give us the slip. It is just a week since he drank his last +pint--and _died_." + +I was greatly shocked at this intelligence. It was some time before my +reason came to my aid, and showed me that this was an event, on the +whole, and on a disinterested and dispassionate view, not unfortunate. +The keeper knew not my relation to the deceased, and readily recounted +the behaviour of the prisoner and the circumstances of his last hours. + +I shall not repeat the narrative. It is useless to keep alive the sad +remembrance. He was now beyond the reach of my charity or pity; and, +since reflection could answer no beneficial end to him, it was my duty +to divert my thoughts into different channels, and live henceforth for +my own happiness and that of those who were within the sphere of my +influence. + +I was now alone in the world, so far as the total want of kindred +creates solitude. Not one of my blood, nor even of my name, was to be +found in this quarter of the world. Of my mother's kindred I knew +nothing. So far as friendship or service might be claimed from them, to +me they had no existence. I was destitute of all those benefits which +flow from kindred, in relation to protection, advice, or property. My +inheritance was nothing. Not a single relic or trinket in my possession +constituted a memorial of my family. The scenes of my childish and +juvenile days were dreary and desolate. The fields which I was wont to +traverse, the room in which I was born, retained no traces of the past. +They were the property and residence of strangers, who knew nothing of +the former tenants, and who, as I was now told, had hastened to +new-model and transform every thing within and without the habitation. + +These images filled me with melancholy, which, however, disappeared in +proportion as I approached the abode of my beloved girl. Absence had +endeared the image of my _Bess_--I loved to call her so--to my soul. I +could not think of her without a melting softness at my heart, and tears +in which pain and pleasure were unaccountably mingled. As I approached +Curling's house, I strained my sight, in hopes of distinguishing her +form through the evening dusk. + +I had told her of my purpose, by letter. She expected my approach at +this hour, and was stationed, with a heart throbbing with impatience, at +the roadside, near the gate. As soon as I alighted, she rushed into my +arms. + +I found my sweet friend less blithesome and contented than I wished. Her +situation, in spite of the parental and sisterly regards which she +received from the Curlings, was mournful and dreary to her imagination. +Rural business was irksome, and insufficient to fill up her time. Her +life was tiresome, and uniform, and heavy. + +I ventured to blame her discontent, and pointed out the advantages of +her situation. "Whence," said I, "can these dissatisfactions and +repinings arise?" + +"I cannot tell," said she; "I don't know how it is with me. I am always +sorrowful and thoughtful. Perhaps I think too much of my poor father +and of Susan; and yet that can't be it, neither, for I think of them but +seldom; not half as much as I ought, perhaps. I think of nobody almost +but you. Instead of minding my business, or chatting and laughing with +Peggy Curling, I love to get by myself,--to read, over and over, your +letters, or to think how you are employed just then, and how happy I +should be if I were in Fanny Maurice's place. + +"But it is all over now; this visit rewards me for every thing. I wonder +how I could ever be sullen or mopeful. I will behave better, indeed I +will, and be always, as now, a most happy girl." + +The greater part of three days was spent in the society of my friend, in +listening to her relation of all that had happened during my absence, +and in communicating, in my turn, every incident which had befallen +myself. After this I once more returned to the city. + + + + +CHAPTER XLIV. + + +I now set about carrying my plan of life into effect. I began with +ardent zeal and unwearied diligence the career of medical study. I +bespoke the counsels and instructions of my friend; attended him on his +professional visits, and acted, in all practicable cases, as his +substitute. I found this application of time more pleasurable than I had +imagined. My mind gladly expanded itself, as it were, for the reception +of new ideas. My curiosity grew more eager in proportion as it was +supplied with food, and every day added strength to the assurance that I +was no insignificant and worthless being; that I was destined to be +_something_ in this scene of existence, and might some time lay claim to +the gratitude and homage of my fellow men. + +I was far from being, however, monopolized by these pursuits. I was +formed on purpose for the gratification of social intercourse. To love +and to be loved; to exchange hearts and mingle sentiments with all the +virtuous and amiable whom my good fortune had placed within the circuit +of my knowledge, I always esteemed my highest enjoyment and my chief +duty. + +Carlton and his sister, Mrs. Wentworth, and Achsa Fielding, were my most +valuable associates beyond my own family. With all these my +correspondence was frequent and unreserved, but chiefly with the latter. +This lady had dignity and independence, a generous and enlightened +spirit, beyond what her education had taught me to expect. She was +circumspect and cautious in her deportment, and was not prompt to make +advances, or accept them. She withheld her esteem and confidence until +she had full proof of their being deserved. + +I am not sure that her treatment of me was fully conformable to her +rules. My manners, indeed, as she once told me, she had never met with +in another. Ordinary rules were so totally overlooked in my behaviour, +that it seemed impossible for any one who knew me to adhere to them. No +option was left but to admit my claims to friendship and confidence +instantly, or to reject them altogether. + +I was not conscious of this singularity. The internal and undiscovered +character of another weighed nothing with me in the question whether +they should be treated with frankness or reserve. I felt no scruple on +any occasion to disclose every feeling and every event. Any one who +could listen found me willing to talk. Every talker found me willing to +listen. Every one had my sympathy and kindness, _without_ claiming it; +but I _claimed_ the kindness and sympathy of every one. + +Achsa Fielding's countenance bespoke, I thought, a mind worthy to be +known and to be loved. The first moment I engaged her attention, I told +her so. I related the little story of my family, spread out before her +all my reasonings and determinations, my notions of right and wrong, my +fears and wishes. All this was done with sincerity and fervour, with +gestures, actions, and looks, in which I felt as if my whole soul was +visible. Her superior age, sedateness, and prudence, gave my deportment +a filial freedom and affection, and I was fond of calling her "_mamma_." + +I particularly dwelt upon the history of my dear country-girl; painted +her form and countenance; recounted our dialogues, and related all my +schemes for making her wise, and good, and happy. On these occasions my +friend would listen to me with the mutest attention. I showed her the +letters I received, and offered her for her perusal those which I wrote +in answer, before they were sealed and sent. + +On these occasions she would look by turns on my face and away from me. +A varying hue would play upon her cheek, and her eyes were fuller than +was common, of meaning. + +"Such-and-such," I once said, "are my notions; now, what do _you_ +think?" + +"_Think_!" emphatically, and turning somewhat aside, she answered; +"that you are the most--_strange_ of human creatures." + +"But tell me," I resumed, following and searching her averted eyes; "am +I right? would you do thus? Can you help me to improve my girl? I wish +you knew the bewitching little creature. How would that heart overflow +with affection and with gratitude towards you! She should be your +daughter. No--you are too nearly of an age for that. A sister; her +_elder_ sister, you should be. _That_, when there is no other relation, +includes them all. Fond sisters you would be, and I the fond brother of +you both." + +My eyes glistened as I spoke. In truth, I am in that respect a mere +woman. My friend was more powerfully moved. After a momentary struggle +she burst into tears. + +"Good heaven!" said I, "what ails you? Are you not well?" + +Her looks betrayed an unaccountable confusion, from which she quickly +recovered:--"It was folly to be thus affected. Something ailed me, I +believe, but it is past. But, come, you want some lines of finishing the +description of the _Boa_ in La Cepide." + +"True. And I have twenty minutes to spare. Poor Franks is very ill +indeed, but he cannot be seen till nine. We'll read till then." + +Thus on the wings of pleasure and improvement passed my time; not +without some hues, occasionally, of a darker tint. My heart was now and +then detected in sighing. This occurred when my thoughts glanced at the +poor Eliza, and measured, as it were, the interval between us. "We are +too--_too_ far apart," thought I. + +The best solace on these occasions was the company of Mrs. Fielding; her +music, her discourse, or some book which she set me to rehearsing to +her. One evening, when preparing to pay her a visit, I received the +following letter from my Bess:-- + + _To A. Mervyn._ + + CURLING'S, May 6, 1794. + +Where does this letter you promised me stay all this while? Indeed, +Arthur, you torment me more than I deserve, and more than I could ever +find it in my heart to do you. You treat me cruelly. I must say so, +though I offend you. I must write, though you do not deserve that I +should, and though I fear I am in a humour not very fit for writing. I +had better go to my chamber and weep; weep at your--_unkindness_, I was +going to say; but, perhaps, it is only forgetfulness; and yet what can +be more unkind than forgetfulness? I am sure I have never forgotten you. +Sleep itself, which wraps all other images in forgetfulness, only brings +you nearer, and makes me see you more distinctly. + +But where can this letter stay?--Oh! that--hush! foolish girl! If a word +of that kind escape thy lips, Arthur will be angry with thee; and then, +indeed, thou mightest weep in earnest. _Then_ thou wouldst have some +cause for thy tears. More than once already has he almost broken thy +heart with his reproaches. Sore and weak as it now is, any new +reproaches would assuredly break it quite. + +I _will_ be content. I will be as good a housewife and dairywoman, stir +about as briskly, and sing as merrily, as Peggy Curling. Why not? I am +as young, as innocent, and enjoy as good health. Alas! she has reason to +be merry. She has father, mother, brothers; but I have none. And he that +was all these, and more than all these, to me, has--_forgotten_ me. + +But, perhaps, it is some accident that hinders. Perhaps Oliver left the +market earlier than he used to do; or you mistook the house; or perhaps +some poor creature was sick, was taken suddenly ill, and you were busy +in chafing his clay-cold limbs; it fell to you to wipe the clammy drops +from his brow. Such things often happen (don't they, Arthur?) to people +of your trade, and some such thing has happened now; and that was the +reason you did not write. + +And if so, shall I repine at your silence? Oh no! At such a time the +poor Bess might easily be, and ought to be, forgotten. She would not +deserve your love if she could repine at a silence brought about this +way. + +And oh! may it be so! May there be nothing worse than this! If the sick +man--see, Arthur, how my hand trembles. Can you read this scrawl? What +is always bad, my fears make worse than ever. + +I must not think that. And yet, if it be so, if my friend himself be +sick, what will become of me? Of me, that ought to cherish you and +comfort you; that ought to be your nurse. Endure for you your sickness, +when she cannot remove it. + +Oh! that----I _will_ speak out--Oh that this strange scruple had never +possessed you! Why should I _not_ be with you? Who can love you and +serve you as well as I? In sickness and health, I will console and +assist you. Why will you deprive yourself of such a comforter and such +an aid as I would be to you? + +Dear Arthur, think better of it. Let me leave this dreary spot, where, +indeed, as long as I am thus alone, I can enjoy no comfort. Let me come +to you. I will put up with any thing for the sake of seeing you, though +it be but once a day. Any garret or cellar in the dirtiest lane or +darkest alley will be good enough for me. I will think it a palace, so +that I can _but_ see you now and then. + +Do not refuse--do not argue with me, so fond you always are of arguing! +My heart is set upon your compliance. And yet, dearly as I prize your +company, I would not ask it, if I thought there was any thing improper. +You say there is, and you talk about it in a way that I do not +understand. For my sake, you tell me, you refuse; but let me entreat you +to comply for my sake. + +Your pen cannot teach me like your tongue. You write me long letters, +and tell me a great deal in them; but my soul droops when I call to mind +your voice and your looks, and think how long a time must pass before I +see you and hear you again. I have no spirit to think upon the words and +paper before me. My eye and my thought wander far away. + +I bethink me how many questions I might ask you; how many doubts you +might clear up if you were but within hearing. If you were but close to +me; but I cannot ask them here. I am too poor a creature at the pen, +and, somehow or another, it always happens, I can only write about +myself or about you. By the time I have said all this, I have tired my +fingers, and when I set about telling you how this poem and that story +have affected me, I am at a loss for words; I am bewildered and bemazed, +as it were. + +It is not so when we talk to one another. With your arm about me, and +your sweet face close to mine, I can prattle forever. Then my heart +overflows at my lips. After hours thus spent, it seems as if there were +a thousand things still to be said. Then I can tell you what the book +has told me. I can repeat scores of verses by heart, though I heard them +only once read; but it is because _you_ have read them to me. + +Then there is nobody here to answer my questions. They never look into +books. They hate books. They think it waste of time to read. Even Peggy, +who you say has naturally a strong mind, wonders what I can find to +amuse myself in a book. In her playful mood, she is always teasing me to +lay it aside. + +I do not mind her, for I like to read; but, if I did not like it before, +I could not help doing so ever since you told me that nobody could gain +your love who was not fond of books. And yet, though I like it on that +account more than I did, I don't read somehow so earnestly and +understand so well as I used to do when my mind was all at ease, always +frolicsome, and ever upon _tiptoe_, as I may say. + +How strangely (have you not observed it?) I am altered of late!--I, that +was ever light of heart, the very soul of gayety, brimfull of glee, am +now demure as our old _tabby_--and not half as wise. Tabby had wit +enough to keep her paws out of the coals, whereas poor I have--but no +matter what. It will never come to pass, I see that. So many reasons for +every thing! Such looking forward! Arthur, are not men sometimes too +_wise_ to be happy? + +I am now _so_ grave. Not one smile can Peggy sometimes get from me, +though she tries for it the whole day. But I know how it comes. Strange, +indeed, if, losing father and sister, and thrown upon the wide world, +penniless and _friendless_ too, now that _you_ forget me, I should +continue to smile. No. I never shall smile again. At least, while I stay +here, I never shall, I believe. + +If a certain somebody suffer me to live with him,--_near_ him, I +mean,--perhaps the sight of him as he enters the door, perhaps the sound +of his voice, asking, "Where is my Bess?" might produce a smile. Such a +one as the very thought produces now,--yet not, I hope, so transient, +and so quickly followed by a tear. Women are born, they say, to trouble, +and tears are given them for their relief. 'Tis all very true. + +Let it be as I wish, will you? If Oliver bring not back good tidings, if +he bring not a letter from thee, or thy letter still refuses my +request,--I don't know what may happen. Consent, if you love your poor +girl. + + E.H. + + + + +CHAPTER XLV. + + +The reading of this letter, though it made me mournful, did not hinder +me from paying the visit I intended. My friend noticed my discomposure. + +"What, Arthur! thou art quite the 'penseroso' to-night. Come, let me +cheer thee with a song. Thou shalt have thy favourite ditty." She +stepped to the instrument, and, with more than airy lightness, touched +and sung:-- + + "Now knit hands and beat the ground + In a light, fantastic round, + Till the telltale sun descry + Our conceal'd solemnity." + +Her music, though blithsome and aerial, was not sufficient for the end. +My cheerfulness would not return even at her bidding. She again noticed +my sedateness, and inquired into the cause. + +"This girl of mine," said I, "has infected me with her own sadness. +There is a letter I have just received." She took it and began to read. + +Meanwhile, I placed myself before her, and fixed my eyes steadfastly +upon her features. There is no book in which I read with more pleasure +than the face of woman. _That_ is generally more full of meaning, and of +better meaning too, than the hard and inflexible lineaments of man; and +_this_ woman's face has no parallel. + +She read it with visible emotion. Having gone through it, she did not +lift her eye from the paper, but continued silent, as if buried in +thought. After some time, (for I would not interrupt the pause,) she +addressed me thus:-- + +"This girl seems to be very anxious to be with you." + +"As much as I am that she should be so." My friend's countenance +betrayed some perplexity. As soon as I perceived it, I said, "Why are +you thus grave?" Some little confusion appeared, as if she would not +have her gravity discovered. "There again," said I, "new tokens in your +face, my good mamma, of something which you will not mention. Yet, sooth +to say, this is not your first perplexity. I have noticed it before, and +wondered. It happens only when my _Bess_ is introduced. Something in +relation to her it must be, but what I cannot imagine. Why does _her_ +name, particularly, make you thoughtful, disturbed, dejected? There +now--but I must know the reason. You don't agree with me in my notions +of this girl, I fear, and you will not disclose your thoughts." + +By this time, she had gained her usual composure, and, without noticing +my comments on her looks, said, "Since you are both of one mind, why +does she not leave the country?" + +"That cannot be, I believe. Mrs. Stevens says it would be disreputable. +I am no proficient in etiquette, and must, therefore, in affairs of this +kind, be guided by those who are. But would to heaven I were truly her +father or brother! Then all difficulties would be done away." + +"Can you seriously wish that?" + +"Why, no. I believe it would be more rational to wish that the world +would suffer me to act the fatherly or brotherly part, without the +relationship." + +"And is that the only part you wish to act towards this girl?" + +"Certainly, the only part." + +"You surprise me. Have you not confessed your love for her?" + +"I _do_ love her. There is nothing upon earth more dear to me than my +_Bess_." + +"But love is of different kinds. She was loved by her father----" + +"Less than by me. He was a good man, but not of lively feelings. +Besides, he had another daughter, and they shared his love between them; +but she has no sister to share _my_ love. Calamity, too, has endeared +her to me; I am all her consolation, dependence, and hope, and nothing, +surely, can induce me to abandon her." + +"Her reliance upon you for happiness," replied my friend, with a sigh, +"is plain enough." + +"It is; but why that sigh? And yet I understand it. It remonstrates with +me on my incapacity for her support. I know it well, but it is wrong to +be cast down. I have youth, health, and spirits, and ought not to +despair of living for my own benefit and hers; but you sigh again, and +it is impossible to keep my courage when _you_ sigh. Do tell me what you +mean by it." + +"You partly guessed the cause. She trusts to you for happiness, but I +somewhat suspect she trusts in vain." + +"In vain! I beseech you, tell me why you think so." + +"You say you love her: why then not make her your wife?" + +"My wife! Surely her extreme youth, and my destitute condition, will +account for that." + +"She is fifteen; the age of delicate fervour, of inartificial love, and +suitable enough for marriage. As to your condition, you may live more +easily together than apart. She has no false taste or perverse desires +to gratify. She has been trained in simple modes and habits. Besides, +that objection can be removed another way. But are these all your +objections?" + +"Her youth I object to, merely in connection with her mind. She is too +little improved to be my wife. She wants that solidity of mind, that +maturity of intelligence which ten years more may possibly give her, but +which she cannot have at this age." + +"You are a very prudential youth: then you are willing to wait ten years +for a wife?" + +"Does that follow? Because my Bess will not be qualified for wedlock in +less time, does it follow that I must wait for her?" + +"I spoke on the supposition that you loved her." + +"And that is true; but love is satisfied with studying her happiness as +her father or brother. Some years hence, perhaps in half a year, (for +this passion, called wedded or _marriage-wishing_ love, is of sudden +growth,) my mind may change and nothing may content me but to have Bess +for my wife. Yet I do not expect it." + +"Then you are determined against marriage with this girl?" + +"Of course; until that love comes which I feel not now; but which, no +doubt, will come, when Bess has had the benefit of five or eight years +more, unless previously excited by another." + +"All this is strange, Arthur. I have heretofore supposed that you +actually loved (I mean with the _marriage-seeking_ passion) your +_Bess_." + +"I believe I once did; but it happened at a time when marriage was +improper; in the life of her father and sister, and when I had never +known in what female excellence consisted. Since that time my happier +lot has cast me among women so far above Eliza Hadwin,--so far above, +and so widely different from any thing which time is likely to make +her,--that, I own, nothing appears more unlikely than that I shall ever +love her." + +"Are you not a little capricious in that respect, my good friend? You +have praised your _Bess_ as rich in natural endowments; as having an +artless purity and rectitude of mind, which somewhat supersedes the use +of formal education; as being full of sweetness and tenderness, and in +her person a very angel of loveliness." + +"All that is true. I never saw features and shape so delicately +beautiful; I never knew so young a mind so quick-sighted and so firm; +but, nevertheless, she is not the creature whom I would call my _wife_. +My bosom-slave; counsellor; friend; the mother; the pattern; the +tutoress of my children, must be a different creature." + +"But what are the attributes of this _desirable_ which Bess wants?" + +"Every thing she wants. Age, capacity, acquirements, person, features, +hair, complexion, all, all are different from this girl's." + +"And pray of what kind may they be?" + +"I cannot portray them in words--but yes, I can:--The creature whom I +shall worship:--it sounds oddly, but, I verily believe, the sentiment +which I shall feel for my wife will be more akin to worship than any +thing else. I shall never love but such a creature as I now image to +myself, and _such_ a creature will deserve, or almost deserve, worship. +But this creature, I was going to say, must be the exact counterpart, my +good mamma--of _yourself_." + +This was said very earnestly, and with eyes and manner that fully +expressed my earnestness; perhaps my expressions were unwittingly strong +and emphatic, for she started and blushed, but the cause of her +discomposure, whatever it was, was quickly removed, and she said,-- + +"Poor Bess! This will be sad news to thee!" + +"Heaven forbid!" said I; "of what moment can my opinions be to her?" + +"Strange questioner that thou art. Thou knowest that her gentle heart is +touched with love. See how it shows itself in the tender and inimitable +strain of this epistle. Does not this sweet ingenuousness bewitch you?" + +"It does so, and I love, beyond expression, the sweet girl; but my love +is, in some inconceivable way, different from the passion which that +_other_ creature will produce. She is no stranger to my thoughts. I will +impart every thought over and over to her. I question not but I shall +make her happy without forfeiting my own." + +"Would marriage with her be a forfeiture of your happiness?" + +"Not absolutely or forever, I believe. I love her company. Her absence +for a long time is irksome. I cannot express the delight with which I +see and hear her. To mark her features, beaming with vivacity; playful +in her pleasures; to hold her in my arms, and listen to her prattle, +always musically voluble, always sweetly tender, or artlessly +intelligent--and this you will say is the dearest privilege of marriage; +and so it is; and dearly should I prize it; and yet, I fear my heart +would droop as often as that _other_ image should occur to my fancy. For +then, you know, it would occur as something never to be possessed by me. + +"Now, this image might, indeed, seldom occur. The intervals, at least, +would be serene. It would be my interest to prolong these intervals as +much as possible, and my endeavours to this end would, no doubt, have +some effect. Besides, the bitterness of this reflection would be +lessened by contemplating, at the same time, the happiness of my beloved +girl. + +"I should likewise have to remember, that to continue unmarried would +not necessarily secure me the possession of the _other_ good----" + +"But these reflections, my friend," (broke she in upon me,) "are of as +much force to induce you to marry, as to reconcile you to a marriage +already contracted." + +"Perhaps they are. Assuredly, I have not a hope that the _fancied_ +excellence will ever be mine. Such happiness is not the lot of humanity, +and is, least of all, within my reach." + +"Your diffidence," replied my friend, in a timorous accent, "has not +many examples; but your character, without doubt, is all your own, +possessing all and disclaiming all,--is, in few words, your picture." + +"I scarcely understand you. Do you think I ever shall be happy to that +degree which I have imagined? Think you I shall ever meet with an exact +copy of _yourself_?" + +"Unfortunate you will be, if you do not meet with many better. Your +Bess, in personals, is, beyond measure, _my_ superior, and in mind, +allowing for difference in years, quite as much so." + +"But that," returned I, with quickness and fervour, "is not the object. +The very counterpart of _you_ I want; neither worse nor better, nor +different in any thing. Just such form, such features, such hues. Just +that melting voice, and, above all, the same habits of thinking and +conversing. In thought, word, and deed; gesture, look, and form, that +rare and precious creature whom I shall love must be your resemblance. +Your----" + +"Have done with these comparisons," interrupted she, in some hurry, "and +let us return to the country-girl, thy Bess. + +"You once, my friend, wished me to treat this girl of yours as my +sister. Do you know what the duties of a sister are?" + +"They imply no more kindness or affection than you already feel towards +my Bess. Are you not her sister?" + +"I ought to have been so. I ought to have been proud of the relation you +ascribe to me, but I have not performed any of its duties. I blush to +think upon the coldness and perverseness of my heart. With such means as +I possess, of giving happiness to others, I have been thoughtless and +inactive to a strange degree; perhaps, however, it is not yet too late. +Are you still willing to invest me with all the rights of an elder +sister over this girl? And will she consent, think you?" + +"Certainly she will; she has." + +"Then the first act of sistership will be to take her from the country; +from persons on whose kindness she has no natural claim, whose manners +and characters are unlike her own, and with whom no improvement can be +expected, and bring her back to her sister's house and bosom, to provide +for her subsistence and education, and watch over her happiness. + +"I will not be a nominal sister. I will not be a sister by halves. _All_ +the rights of that relation I will have, or none. As for you, you have +claims upon her on which I must be permitted to judge, as becomes the +elder sister, who, by the loss of all other relations, must occupy the +place, possess the rights, and fulfil the duties, of father, mother, and +brother. + +"She has now arrived at an age when longer to remain in a cold and +churlish soil will stunt her growth and wither her blossoms. We must +hasten to transplant her to a genial element and a garden well enclosed. +Having so long neglected this charming plant, it becomes me henceforth +to take her wholly to myself. + +"And now, for it is no longer in her or your power to take back the +gift, since she is fully mine, I will charge you with the office of +conducting her hither. I grant it you as a favour. Will you go?" + +"Go! I will fly!" I exclaimed, in an ecstasy of joy, "on pinions swifter +than the wind. Not the lingering of an instant will I bear. Look! one, +two, three--thirty minutes after nine. I will reach Curling's gate by +the morn's dawn. I will put my girl into a chaise, and by noon she +shall throw herself into the arms of her sister. But first, shall I not, +in some way, manifest my gratitude?" + +My senses were bewildered, and I knew not what I did. I intended to +kneel, as to my mother or my deity; but, instead of that, I clasped her +in my arms, and kissed her lips fervently. I stayed not to discover the +effects of this insanity, but left the room and the house, and, calling +for a moment at Stevens's, left word with the servant, my friend being +gone abroad, that I should not return till the morrow. + +Never was a lighter heart, a gayety more overflowing and more buoyant, +than mine. All cold from a boisterous night, at a chilly season, all +weariness from a rugged and miry road, were charmed away. I might have +ridden; but I could not brook delay, even the delay of inquiring for and +equipping a horse. I might thus have saved myself fatigue, and have lost +no time; but my mind was in too great a tumult for deliberation and +forecast. I saw nothing but the image of my girl, whom my tidings would +render happy. + +The way was longer than my fond imagination had foreseen. I did not +reach Curling's till an hour after sunrise. The distance was full +thirty-five miles. As I hastened up the green lane leading to the house, +I spied my Bess passing through a covered way, between the dwelling and +kitchen. I caught her eye. She stopped and held up her hands, and then +ran into my arms. + +"What means my girl? Why this catching of the breath? Why this sobbing? +Look at me, my love. It is Arthur,--he who has treated you with +forgetfulness, neglect, and cruelty." + +"Oh, do not," she replied, hiding her face with her hand. "One single +reproach, added to my own, will kill me. That foolish, wicked letter--I +could tear my fingers for writing it." + +"But," said I, "I will kiss them;" and put them to my lips. "They have +told me the wishes of my girl. They have enabled me to gratify her +wishes. I have come to carry thee this very moment to town." + +"Lord bless me, Arthur," said she, lost in a sweet confusion, and her +cheeks, always glowing, glowing still more deeply, "indeed, I did not +mean----I meant only----I will stay here----I would rather stay----" + +"It grieves me to hear that," said I, with earnestness; "I thought I was +studying our mutual happiness." + +"It grieves you? Don't say so. I would not grieve you for the world; +but, indeed, indeed, it is too soon. Such a girl as I am not yet fit +to--live in your city." Again she hid her glowing face in my bosom. + +"Sweet consciousness! Heavenly innocence!" thought I; "may Achsa's +conjectures prove false!--You have mistaken my design, for I do not +intend to carry you to town with such a view as you have hinted; but +merely to place you with a beloved friend, with Achsa Fielding, of whom +already you know so much, where we shall enjoy each other's company +without restraint or intermission." + +I then proceeded to disclose to her the plan suggested by my friend, and +to explain all the consequences that would flow from it. I need not say +that she assented to the scheme. She was all rapture and gratitude. +Preparations for departure were easily and speedily made. I hired a +chaise of a neighbouring farmer, and, according to my promise, by noon +the same day, delivered the timid and bashful girl into the arms of her +new sister. + +She was received with the utmost tenderness, not only by Mrs. Fielding, +but by all my friends. Her affectionate heart was encouraged to pour +forth all its feeling as into the bosom of a mother. She was reinspired +with confidence. Her want of experience was supplied by the gentlest +admonitions and instructions. In every plan for her improvement +suggested by her new _mamma_, (for she never called her by any other +name,) she engaged with docility and eagerness; and her behaviour and +her progress exceeded the most sanguine hopes that I had formed as to +the softness of her temper and the acuteness of her genius. + +Those graces which a polished education, and intercourse with the better +classes of society, are adapted to give, my girl possessed, in some +degree, by a native and intuitive refinement and sagacity of mind. All +that was to be obtained from actual observation and instruction was +obtained without difficulty; and in a short time nothing but the +affectionate simplicity and unperverted feelings of the country-girl +bespoke the original condition. + +"What art so busy about, Arthur? Always at thy pen of late. Come, I must +know the fruit of all this toil and all this meditation. I am determined +to scrape acquaintance with Haller and Linnaeus. I will begin this very +day. All one's friends, you know, should be ours. Love has made many a +patient, and let me see if it cannot, in my case, make a physician. But, +first, what is all this writing about?" + +"Mrs. Wentworth has put me upon a strange task,--not disagreeable, +however, but such as I should, perhaps, have declined, had not the +absence of my Bess, and her mamma, made the time hang somewhat heavy. I +have, oftener than once, and far more circumstantially than now, told +her my adventures, but she is not satisfied. She wants a written +narrative, for some purpose which she tells me she will disclose to me +hereafter. + +"Luckily, my friend Stevens has saved me more than half the trouble. He +has done me the favour to compile much of my history with his own hand. +I cannot imagine what could prompt him to so wearisome an undertaking; +but he says that adventures and a destiny so singular as mine ought not +to be abandoned to forgetfulness like any vulgar and _every-day_ +existence. Besides, when he wrote it, he suspected that it might be +necessary to the safety of my reputation and my life, from the +consequences of my connection with Welbeck. Time has annihilated that +danger. All enmities and all suspicions are buried with that ill-fated +wretch. Wortley has been won by my behaviour, and confides in my +integrity now as much as he formerly suspected it. I am glad, however, +that the task was performed. It has saved me a world of writing. I had +only to take up the broken thread, and bring it down to the period of my +present happiness; and this was done, just as you tripped along the +entry this morning. + +"To bed, my friend; it is late, and this delicate frame is not half so +able to encounter fatigue as a youth spent in the hay-field and the +dairy might have been expected to be." + +"I will, but let me take these sheets along with me. I will read them, +that I am determined, before I sleep, and watch if you have told the +whole truth." + +"Do so, if you please; but remember one thing. Mrs. Wentworth requested +me to write not as if it were designed for her perusal, but for those +who have no previous knowledge of her or of me. 'Twas an odd request. I +cannot imagine what she means by it; but she never acts without good +reason, and I have done so. And now, withdraw, my dear, and farewell." + + + + +CHAPTER XLVI. + + +Move on, my quill! wait not for my guidance. Reanimated with thy +master's spirit, all airy light! A heyday rapture! A mounting impulse +sways him: lifts him from the earth. + +I must, cost what it will, rein in this upward-pulling, +forward-going--what shall I call it? But there are times, and now is one +of them, when words are poor. + +It will not do--down this hill, up that steep; through this thicket, +over that hedge--I have _laboured_ to fatigue myself: to reconcile me to +repose; to lolling on a sofa; to poring over a book, to any thing that +might win for my heart a respite from these throbs; to deceive me into a +few _tolerable_ moments of forgetfulness. + +Let me see; they tell me this is Monday night. Only three days yet to +come! If thus restless to-day; if my heart thus bounds till its mansion +scarcely can hold it, what must be my state to-morrow! What next day! +What as the hour hastens on; as the sun descends; as my hand touches +hers in sign of wedded unity, of love without interval; of concord +without end! + +I must quell these tumults. They will disable me else. They will wear +out all my strength. They will drain away life itself. But who could +have thought! So soon! Not three months since I first set eyes upon her. +Not three weeks since our plighted love, and only three days to +terminate suspense and give me _all_. + +I must compel myself to quiet; to sleep. I must find some refuge from +anticipations so excruciating. All extremes are agonies. A joy like this +is too big for this narrow tenement. I must thrust it forth; I must bar +and bolt it out for a time, or these frail walls will burst asunder. +The pen is a pacifier. It checks the mind's career; it circumscribes her +wanderings. It traces out and compels us to adhere to one path. It ever +was my friend. Often it has blunted my vexations; hushed my stormy +passions; turned my peevishness to soothing; my fierce revenge to +heart-dissolving pity. + +Perhaps it will befriend me now. It may temper my impetuous wishes; lull +my intoxication; and render my happiness supportable; and, indeed, it +has produced partly this effect already. My blood, within the few +minutes thus employed, flows with less destructive rapidity. My thoughts +range themselves in less disorder. And, now that the conquest is +effected, what shall I say? I must continue at the pen, or shall +immediately relapse. + +What shall I say? Let me look back upon the steps that led me hither. +Let me recount the preliminaries. I cannot do better. + +And first as to Achsa Fielding,--to describe this woman. + +To recount, in brief, so much of her history as has come to my knowledge +will best account for that zeal, almost to idolatry, with which she has, +ever since I thoroughly knew her, been regarded by me. + +Never saw I one to whom the term _lovely_ more truly belonged. And yet +in stature she is too low; in complexion dark and almost sallow; and her +eyes, though black and of piercing lustre, have a cast which I cannot +well explain. It lessens without destroying their lustre and their force +to charm; but all personal defects are outweighed by her heart and her +intellect. There is the secret of her power to entrance the soul of the +listener and beholder. It is not only when she sings that her utterance +is musical. It is not only when the occasion is urgent and the topic +momentous that her eloquence is rich and flowing. They are always so. + +I had vowed to love her and serve her, and been her frequent visitant, +long before I was acquainted with her past life. I had casually picked +up some intelligence, from others, or from her own remarks. I knew very +soon that she was English by birth, and had been only a year and a half +in America; that she had scarcely passed her twenty-fifth year, and was +still embellished with all the graces of youth; that she had been a +wife; but was uninformed whether the knot had been untied by death or +divorce; that she possessed considerable, and even splendid, fortune; +but the exact amount, and all besides these particulars, were unknown to +me till some time after our acquaintance was begun. + +One evening she had been talking very earnestly on the influence +annexed, in Great Britain, to birth, and had given me some examples of +this influence. Meanwhile my eyes were fixed steadfastly on hers. The +peculiarity in their expression never before affected me so strongly. A +vague resemblance to something seen elsewhere, on the same day, +occurred, and occasioned me to exclaim, suddenly, in a pause of her +discourse,-- + +"As I live, my good mamma, those eyes of yours have told me a secret. I +almost think they spoke to me; and I am not less amazed at the +strangeness than at the distinctness of their story." + +"And, pr'ythee, what have they said?" + +"Perhaps I was mistaken. I might have been deceived by a fancied voice, +or have confounded one word with another near akin to it; but let me die +if I did not think they said that you were--_a Jew_." + +At this sound, her features were instantly veiled with the deepest +sorrow and confusion. She put her hand to her eyes, the tears started, +and she sobbed. My surprise at this effect of my words was equal to my +contrition. I besought her to pardon me for having thus unknowingly +alarmed and grieved her. + +After she had regained some composure, she said, "You have not offended, +Arthur. Your surmise was just and natural, and could not always have +escaped you. Connected with that word are many sources of anguish, which +time has not, and never will, dry up; and the less I think of past +events the less will my peace be disturbed. I was desirous that you +should know nothing of me but what you see; nothing but the present and +the future, merely that no allusions might occur in our conversation +which will call up sorrows and regrets that will avail nothing. + +"I now perceive the folly of endeavouring to keep you in ignorance, and +shall therefore, once for all, inform you of what has befallen me, that +your inquiries and suggestions may be made and fully satisfied at once, +and your curiosity have no motive for calling back my thoughts to what I +ardently desire to bury in oblivion. + +"My father was indeed a _Jew_, and one of the most opulent of his nation +in London,--a Portuguese by birth, but came to London when a boy. He had +few of the moral or external qualities of Jews; for I suppose there is +some justice in the obloquy that follows them so closely. He was frugal +without meanness, and cautious in his dealings, without extortion. I +need not fear to say this, for it was the general voice. + +"Me, an only child, and, of course, the darling of my parents, they +trained up in the most liberal manner. My education was purely English. +I learned the same things and of the same masters with my neighbours. +Except frequenting their church and repeating their creed, and partaking +of the same food, I saw no difference between them and me. Hence I grew +more indifferent, perhaps, than was proper, to the distinctions of +religion. They were never enforced upon me. No pains were taken to fill +me with scruples and antipathies. They never stood, as I may say, upon +the threshold. They were often thought upon, but were vague and easily +eluded or forgotten. + +"Hence it was that my heart too readily admitted impressions that more +zeal and more parental caution would have saved me from. They could +scarcely be avoided, as my society was wholly English, and my youth, my +education, and my father's wealth made me an object of much attention. +And the same causes that lulled to sleep my own watchfulness had the +same effect upon that of others. To regret or to praise this remissness +is now too late. Certain it is, that my destiny, and not a happy +destiny, was fixed by it. + +"The fruit of this remissness was a passion for one who fully returned +it. Almost as young as I, who was only sixteen; he knew as little as +myself what obstacles the difference of our births was likely to raise +between us. His father, Sir Ralph Fielding, a man nobly born, high in +office, splendidly allied, could not be expected to consent to the +marriage of his eldest son, in such green youth, to the daughter of an +alien, a Portuguese, a Jew; but these impediments were not seen by my +ignorance, and were overlooked by the youth's passion. + +"But, strange to tell, what common prudence would have so confidently +predicted did not happen. Sir Ralph had a numerous family, likely to be +still more so; had but slender patrimony; the income of his offices +nearly made up his all. The young man was headstrong, impetuous, and +would probably disregard the inclinations of his family. Yet the father +would not consent but on one condition,--that of my admission to the +English Church. + +"No very strenuous opposition to these terms could be expected from me. +At so thoughtless an age, with an education so unfavourable to religious +impressions; swayed, likewise, by the strongest of human passions; made +somewhat impatient, by the company I kept, of the disrepute and scorn to +which the Jewish nation are everywhere condemned, I could not be +expected to be very averse to the scheme. + +"My fears as to what my father's decision would be were soon at an end. +He loved his child too well to thwart her wishes in so essential a +point. Finding in me no scruples, no unwillingness, he thought it absurd +to be scrupulous for me. My own heart having abjured my religion, it was +absurd to make any difficulty about a formal renunciation. These were +his avowed reasons for concurrence, but time showed that he had probably +other reasons, founded, indeed, in his regard for my happiness, but such +as, if they had been known, would probably have strengthened into +invincible the reluctance of my lover's family. + +"No marriage was ever attended with happier presages. The numerous +relations of my husband admitted me with the utmost cordiality among +them. My father's tenderness was unabated by this change, and those +humiliations to which I had before been exposed were now no more; and +every tie was strengthened, at the end of a year, by the feelings of a +_mother_. I had need, indeed, to know a season of happiness, that I +might be fitted to endure the sad reverses that succeeded. One after the +other my disasters came, each one more heavy than the last, and in such +swift succession that they hardly left me time to breathe. + +"I had scarcely left my chamber, I had scarcely recovered my usual +health, and was able to press with true fervour the new and precious +gift to my bosom, when melancholy tidings came. I was in the country, at +the seat of my father-in-law, when the messenger arrived. + +"A shocking tale it was! and told abruptly, with every unpitying +aggravation. I hinted to you once my father's death. The _kind_ of +death--oh! my friend! It was horrible. He was then a placid, venerable +old man; though many symptoms of disquiet had long before been +discovered by my mother's watchful tenderness. Yet none could suspect +him capable of such a deed; for none, so carefully had he conducted his +affairs, suspected the havoc that mischance had made of his property. + +"I, that had so much reason to love my father,--I will leave you to +imagine how I was affected by a catastrophe so dreadful, so +unlooked-for. Much less could I suspect the cause of his despair; yet he +had foreseen his ruin before my marriage; had resolved to defer it, for +his daughter's and his wife's sake, as long as possible, but had still +determined not to survive the day that should reduce him to indigence. +The desperate act was thus preconcerted--thus deliberate. + +"The true state of his affairs was laid open by his death. The failure +of great mercantile houses at Frankfort and Liege was the cause of his +disasters. + +"Thus were my prospects shut in. That wealth which, no doubt, furnished +the chief inducement with my husband's family to concur in his choice, +was now suddenly exchanged for poverty. + +"Bred up, as I had been, in pomp and luxury; conscious that my wealth +was my chief security from the contempt of the proud and bigoted, and my +chief title to the station to which I had been raised, and which I the +more delighted in because it enabled me to confer so great obligations +on my husband,--what reverse could be harder than this, and how much +bitterness was added by it to the grief occasioned by the violent death +of my father! + +"Yet loss of fortune, though it mortified my pride, did not prove my +worst calamity. Perhaps it was scarcely to be ranked with evils, since +it furnished a touchstone by which my husband's affections were to be +tried; especially as the issue of the trial was auspicious; for my +misfortune seemed only to heighten the interest which my character had +made for me in the hearts of all that knew me. The paternal regards of +Sir Ralph had always been tender, but that tenderness seemed now to be +redoubled. + +"New events made this consolation still more necessary. My unhappy +mother!--She was nearer to the dreadful scene when it happened; had no +surviving object to beguile her sorrow; was rendered, by long habit, +more dependent upon fortune than her child. + +"A melancholy, always mute, was the first effect upon my mother. Nothing +could charm her eye, or her ear. Sweet sounds that she once loved, and +especially when her darling child was the warbler, were heard no longer. +How, with streaming eyes, have I sat and watched the dear lady, and +endeavoured to catch her eye, to rouse her attention!--But I must not +think of these things. + +"But even this distress was little in comparison with what was to come. +A frenzy thus mute, motionless, and vacant, was succeeded by fits, +talkative, outrageous, requiring incessant superintendence, restraint, +and even violence. + +"Why led you me thus back to my sad remembrances? Excuse me for the +present. I will tell you the rest some other time; to-morrow." + +To-morrow, accordingly, my friend resumed her story. + +"Let me now make an end," said she, "of my mournful narrative, and +never, I charge you, do any thing to revive it again. + +"Deep as was my despondency, occasioned by these calamities, I was not +destitute of some joy. My husband and my child were lovely and +affectionate. In their caresses, in their welfare, I found peace; and +might still have found it, had there not been----. But why should I open +afresh wounds which time has imperfectly closed? But the story must some +time be told to you, and the sooner it is told and dismissed to +forgetfulness the better. + +"My ill fate led me into company with a woman too well known in the idle +and dissipated circles. Her character was not unknown to me. There was +nothing in her features or air to obviate disadvantageous +prepossessions. I sought not her intercourse; I rather shunned it, as +unpleasing and discreditable, but she would not be repulsed. +Self-invited, she made herself my frequent guest; took unsolicited part +in my concerns; did me many kind offices; and, at length, in spite of my +counter-inclination, won upon my sympathy and gratitude. + +"No one in the world, did I fondly think, had I less reason to fear than +Mrs. Waring. Her character excited not the slightest apprehension for my +own safety. She was upwards of forty, nowise remarkable for grace or +beauty; tawdry in her dress; accustomed to render more conspicuous the +traces of age by her attempts to hide them; the mother of a numerous +family, with a mind but slenderly cultivated; always careful to save +appearances; studiously preserving distance with my husband, and he, +like myself, enduring rather than wishing her society. What could I fear +from the arts of such a one? + +"But alas! the woman had consummate address. Patience, too, that nothing +could tire. Watchfulness that none could detect. Insinuation the wiliest +and most subtle. Thus wound she herself into my affections, by an +unexampled perseverance in seeming kindness; by tender confidence; by +artful glosses of past misconduct; by self-rebukes and feigned +contritions. + +"Never were stratagems so intricate, dissimulation so profound! But +still, that such a one should seduce my husband; young, generous, +ambitious, impatient of contumely and reproach, and surely not +indifferent; before this fatal intercourse, not indifferent to his wife +and child!--Yet so it was! + +"I saw his discontents; his struggles; I heard him curse this woman, and +the more deeply for my attempts, unconscious as I was of her +machinations, to reconcile them to each other, to do away what seemed a +causeless indignation, or antipathy against her. How little I suspected +the nature of the conflict in his heart, between a new passion and the +claims of pride; of conscience and of humanity; the claims of a child +and a wife; a wife, already in affliction, and placing all that yet +remained of happiness, in the firmness of his virtue; in the continuance +of his love; a wife, at the very hour of his meditated flight, full of +terrors at the near approach of an event whose agonies demand a double +share of a husband's supporting, encouraging love---- + +"Good Heaven! For what evils are some of thy creatures reserved! +Resignation to thy decree, in the last and most cruel distress, was, +indeed, a hard task. + +"He was gone. Some unavoidable engagement calling him to Hamburg was +pleaded. Yet to leave me at such an hour! I dared not upbraid, nor +object. The tale was so specious! The fortunes of a friend depended on +his punctual journey. The falsehood of his story too soon made itself +known. He was gone, in company with his detested paramour! + +"Yet, though my vigilance was easily deceived, it was not so with +others. A creditor, who had his bond for three thousand pounds, pursued +and arrested him at Harwich. He was thrown into prison, but his +companion--let me, at least, say that in her praise--would not desert +him. She took lodging near the place of his confinement, and saw him +daily. That, had she not done it, and had my personal condition allowed, +should have been my province. + +"Indignation and grief hastened the painful crisis with me. I did not +weep that the second fruit of this unhappy union saw not the light. I +wept only that this hour of agony was not, to its unfortunate mother, +the last. + +"I felt not anger; I had nothing but compassion for Fielding. Gladly +would I have recalled him to my arms and to virtue; I wrote, adjuring +him, by all our past joys, to return; vowing only gratitude for his new +affection, and claiming only the recompense of seeing him restored to +his family; to liberty; to reputation. + +"But, alas! Fielding had a good but a proud heart. He looked upon his +error with remorse, with self-detestation, and with the fatal belief +that it could not be retrieved; shame made him withstand all my +reasonings and persuasions, and, in the hurry of his feelings, he made +solemn vows that he would, in the moment of restored liberty, abjure his +country and his family forever. He bore indignantly the yoke of his new +attachment, but he strove in vain to shake it off. Her behaviour, always +yielding, doting, supplicative, preserved him in her fetters. Though +upbraided, spurned, and banished from his presence, she would not leave +him, but, by new efforts and new artifices, soothed, appeased, and won +again and kept his tenderness. + +"What my entreaties were unable to effect, his father could not hope to +accomplish. He offered to take him from prison; the creditor offered to +cancel the bond, if he would return to me; but this condition he +refused. All his kindred, and one who had been his bosom-friend from +childhood, joined in beseeching his compliance with these conditions; +but his pride, his dread of my merited reproaches, the merits and +dissuasions of his new companion, whose sacrifices for his sake had not +been small, were obstacles which nothing could subdue. + +"Far, indeed, was I from imposing these conditions. I waited only till, +by certain arrangements, I could gather enough to pay his debts, to +enable him to execute his vow: empty would have been my claims to his +affection, if I could have suffered, with the means of his deliverance +in my hands, my husband to remain a moment in prison. + +"The remains of my father's vast fortune was a jointure of a thousand +pounds a year, settled on my mother, and, after her death, on me. My +mother's helpless condition put this revenue into my disposal. By this +means was I enabled, without the knowledge of my father-in-law or my +husband, to purchase the debt, and dismiss him from prison. He set out +instantly, in company with his paramour, to France. + +"When somewhat recovered from the shock of this calamity, I took up my +abode with my mother. What she had was enough, as you perhaps will +think, for plentiful subsistence; but to us, with habits of a different +kind, it was little better than poverty. That reflection, my father's +memory, my mother's deplorable state, which every year grew worse, and +the late misfortune, were the chief companions of my thoughts. + +"The dear child, whose smiles were uninterrupted by his mother's +afflictions, was some consolation in my solitude. To his instruction and +to my mother's wants all my hours were devoted. I was sometimes not +without the hope of better days. Full as my mind was of Fielding's +merits, convinced by former proofs of his ardent and generous spirit, I +trusted that time and reflection would destroy that spell by which he +was now bound. + +"For some time, the progress of these reflections was not known. In +leaving England, Fielding dropped all correspondence and connection with +his native country. He parted with the woman at Rouen, leaving no trace +behind him by which she might follow him, as she wished to do. She never +returned to England, but died a twelvemonth afterwards in Switzerland. + +"As to me, I had only to muse day and night upon the possible destiny of +this beloved fugitive. His incensed father cared not for him. He had +cast him out of his paternal affections, ceased to make inquiries +respecting him, and even wished never to hear of him again. My boy +succeeded to my husband's place in his grandfather's affections, and in +the hopes and views of the family; and his mother wanted nothing which +their compassionate and respectful love could bestow. + +"Three long and tedious years passed away, and no tidings were received. +Whether he were living or dead, nobody could tell. At length, an English +traveller, going out of the customary road from Italy, met with +Fielding, in a town in the Venaissin. His manners, habits, and language, +had become French. He seemed unwilling to be recognised by an old +acquaintance, but, not being able to avoid this, and becoming gradually +familiar, he informed the traveller of many particulars in his present +situation. It appeared that he had made himself useful to a neighbouring +_seigneur_, in whose _chateau_ he had long lived on the footing of a +brother. France he had resolved to make his future country, and, among +other changes for that end, he had laid aside his English name, and +taken that of his patron, which was _Perrin_. He had endeavoured to +compensate himself for all other privations, by devoting himself to +rural amusements and to study. + +"He carefully shunned all inquiries respecting me; but, when my name was +mentioned by his friend, who knew well all that had happened, and my +general welfare, together with that of his son, asserted, he showed deep +sensibility, and even consented that I should be made acquainted with +his situation. + +"I cannot describe the effect of this intelligence on me. My hopes of +bringing him back to me were suddenly revived. I wrote him a letter, in +which I poured forth my whole heart; but his answer contained avowals of +all his former resolutions, to which time had only made his adherence +more easy. A second and third letter were written, and an offer made to +follow him to his retreat and share his exile; but all my efforts +availed nothing. He solemnly and repeatedly renounced all the claims of +a husband over me, and absolved me from every obligation as a wife. + +"His part in this correspondence was performed without harshness or +contempt. A strange mixture there was of pathos and indifference; of +tenderness and resolution. Hence I continually derived hope, which time, +however, brought no nearer to certainty. + +"At the opening of the Revolution, the name of Perrin appeared among the +deputies to the constituent assembly for the district in which he +resided. He had thus succeeded in gaining all the rights of a French +citizen; and the hopes of his return became almost extinct; but that, +and every other hope respecting him, has since been totally extinguished +by his marriage with Marguerite d'Almont, a young lady of great merit +and fortune, and a native of Avignon. + +"A long period of suspense was now at an end, and left me in a state +almost as full of anguish as that which our first separation produced. +My sorrows were increased by my mother's death, and, this incident +freeing me from those restraints upon my motions which before existed, I +determined to come to America. + +"My son was now eight years old, and, his grandfather claiming the +province of his instruction, I was persuaded to part with him, that he +might be sent to a distant school. Thus was another tie removed, and, in +spite of the well-meant importunities of my friends, I persisted in my +scheme of crossing the ocean." + +I could not help, at this part of her narration, expressing my surprise +that any motives were strong enough to recommend this scheme. + +"It was certainly a freak of despair. A few months would, perhaps, have +allayed the fresh grief, and reconciled me to my situation; but I would +not pause or deliberate. My scheme was opposed by my friends with great +earnestness. During my voyage, affrighted by the dangers which +surrounded me, and to which I was wholly unused, I heartily repented of +my resolution; but now, methinks, I have reason to rejoice at my +perseverance. I have come into a scene and society so new, I have had so +many claims made upon my ingenuity and fortitude, that my mind has been +diverted in some degree from former sorrows. There are even times when I +wholly forget them, and catch myself indulging in cheerful reveries. + +"I have often reflected with surprise on the nature of my own mind. It +is eight years since my father's violent death. How few of my hours +since that period have been blessed with serenity! How many nights and +days, in hateful and lingering succession, have been bathed in tears and +tormented with regrets! That I am still alive, with so many causes of +death, and with such a slow-consuming malady, is surely to be wondered +at. + +"I believe the worst foes of man, at least of men in grief, are solitude +and idleness. The same eternally-occurring round of objects feeds his +disease, and the effects of mere vacancy and uniformity are sometimes +mistaken for those of grief. Yes, I am glad I came to America. My +relations are importunate for my return, and till lately I had some +thoughts of it; but I think now I shall stay where I am for the rest of +my days. + +"Since I arrived, I am become more of a student than I used to be. I +always loved literature, but never, till of late, had I a mind enough at +ease to read with advantage. I now find pleasure in the occupation which +I never expected to find. + +"You see in what manner I live. The letters which I brought secured me a +flattering reception from the best people in your country; but scenes of +gay resort had nothing to attract me, and I quickly withdrew to that +seclusion in which you now find me. Here, always at leisure, and +mistress of every laudable means of gratification, I am not without the +belief of serene days yet to come." + +I now ventured to inquire what were her latest tidings of her husband. + +"At the opening of the Revolution, I told you, he became a champion of +the people. By his zeal and his efforts he acquired such importance as +to be deputed to the National Assembly. In this post he was the adherent +of violent measures, till the subversion of monarchy; and then, when too +late for his safety, he checked his career." + +"And what has since become of him?" + +She sighed deeply. "You were yesterday reading a list of the proscribed +under Robespierre. I checked you. I had good reason. But this subject +grows too painful; let us change it." + +Some time after, I ventured to renew this topic; and discovered that +Fielding, under his new name of Perrin d'Almont, was among the outlawed +deputies of last year,[1] and had been slain in resisting the officers +sent to arrest him. My friend had been informed that his _wife_, +Marguerite d'Almont, whom she had reason to believe a woman of great +merit, had eluded persecution, and taken refuge in some part of America. +She had made various attempts, but in vain, to find out her retreat. +"Ah!" said I, "you must commission me to find her. I will hunt her +through the continent from Penobscot to Savannah. I will not leave a +nook unsearched." + +[Footnote 1: 1793.] + + + + +CHAPTER XLVII. + + +None will be surprised that, to a woman thus unfortunate and thus +deserving, my heart willingly rendered up all its sympathies; that, as I +partook of all her grief, I hailed, with equal delight, those omens of +felicity which now, at length, seemed to play in her fancy. + +I saw her often,--as often as my engagements would permit, and oftener +than I allowed myself to visit any other. In this I was partly selfish. +So much entertainment, so much of the best instruction, did her +conversation afford me, that I never had enough of it. + +Her experience had been so much larger than mine, and so wholly +different, and she possessed such unbounded facility of recounting all +she had seen and felt, and absolute sincerity and unreserve in this +respect were so fully established between us, that I can imagine nothing +equally instructive and delightful with her conversation. + +Books are cold, jejune, vexatious in their sparingness of information at +one time and their impertinent loquacity at another. Besides, all they +choose to give they give at once; they allow no questions, offer no +further explanations, and bend not to the caprices of our curiosity. +They talk to us behind a screen. Their tone is lifeless and monotonous. +They charm not our attention by mute significances of gesture and looks. +They spread no light upon their meaning by cadences and emphasis and +pause. + +How different was Mrs. Fielding's discourse! So versatile; so bending to +the changes of the occasion; so obsequious to my curiosity, and so +abundant in that very knowledge in which I was most deficient, and on +which I set the most value, the knowledge of the human heart; of +society as it existed in another world, more abundant in the varieties +of customs and characters, than I had ever had the power to witness. + +Partly selfish I have said my motives were, but not so, as long as I saw +that my friend derived pleasure, in her turn, from my company. Not that +I could add directly to her knowledge or pleasure, but that expansion of +heart, that ease of utterance and flow of ideas which always were +occasioned by my approach, were sources of true pleasure of which she +had been long deprived, and for which her privation had given her a +higher relish than ever. + +She lived in great affluence and independence, but made use of her +privileges of fortune chiefly to secure to herself the command of her +own time. She had been long ago tired and disgusted with the dull and +fulsome uniformity and parade of the play-house and ballroom. Formal +visits were endured as mortifications and penances, by which the +delights of privacy and friendly intercourse were by contrast increased. +Music she loved, but never sought it in places of public resort, or from +the skill of mercenary performers; and books were not the least of her +pleasures. + +As to me, I was wax in her hand. Without design and without effort, I +was always of that form she wished me to assume. My own happiness became +a secondary passion, and her gratification the great end of my being. +When with her, I thought not of myself. I had scarcely a separate or +independent existence, since my senses were occupied by her, and my mind +was full of those ideas which her discourse communicated. To meditate on +her looks and words, and to pursue the means suggested by my own +thoughts, or by her, conducive, in any way, to her good, was all my +business. + +"What a fate," said I, at the conclusion of one of our interviews, "has +been yours! But, thank Heaven, the storm has disappeared before the age +of sensibility has gone past, and without drying up every source of +happiness. You are still young; all your powers unimpaired; rich in the +compassion and esteem of the world; wholly independent of the claims and +caprices of others; amply supplied with that means of usefulness, +called money; wise in that experience which only adversity can give. +Past evils and sufferings, if incurred and endured without guilt, if +called to view without remorse, make up the materials of present joy. +They cheer our most dreary hours with the widespread accents of 'well +done,' and they heighten our pleasures into somewhat of celestial +brilliancy, by furnishing a deep, a ruefully-deep, contrast. + +"From this moment, I will cease to weep for you. I will call you the +happiest of women. I will share with you your happiness by witnessing +it; but that shall not content me. I must some way contribute to it. +Tell me how I shall serve you. What can I do to make you happier? Poor +am I in every thing but zeal, but still I may do something. What--pray +tell me, what can I do?" + +She looked at me with sweet and solemn significance. What it was exactly +I could not divine, yet I was strangely affected by it. It was but a +glance, instantly withdrawn. She made me no answer. + +"You must not be silent; you _must_ tell me what I can do for you. +Hitherto I have done nothing. All the service is on your side. Your +conversation has been my study, a delightful study, but the profit has +only been mine. Tell me how I can be grateful: my voice and manner, I +believe, seldom belie my feelings." At this time, I had almost done what +a second thought made me suspect to be unauthorized. Yet I cannot tell +why. My heart had nothing in it but reverence and admiration. Was she +not the substitute of my lost mamma? Would I not have clasped that +beloved shade? Yet the two beings were not just the same, or I should +not, as now, have checked myself, and only pressed her hand to my lips. + +"Tell me," repeated I, "what can I do to serve you? I read to you a +little now, and you are pleased with my reading. I copy for you when you +want the time. I guide the reins for you when you choose to ride. Humble +offices, indeed, though, perhaps, all that a raw youth like me can do +for you; but I can be still more assiduous. I can read several hours in +the day, instead of one. I can write ten times as much as now. + +"Are you not my lost mamma come back again? And yet, not _exactly_ her, +I think. Something different; something better, I believe, if that be +possible. At any rate, methinks I would be wholly yours. I shall be +impatient and uneasy till every act, every thought, every minute, +someway does you good. + +"How!" said I, (her eye, still averted, seemed to hold back the tear +with difficulty, and she made a motion as if to rise,) "have I grieved +you? Have I been importunate? Forgive me if I have offended you." + +Her eyes now overflowed without restraint. She articulated, with +difficulty, "Tears are too prompt with me of late; but they did not +upbraid you. Pain has often caused them to flow, but now +it--is--_pleasure_." + +"What a heart must yours be!" I resumed. "When susceptible of such +pleasures, what pangs must formerly have rent it!--But you are not +displeased, you say, with my importunate zeal. You will accept me as +your own in every thing. Direct me; prescribe to me. There must be +_something_ in which I can be of still more use to you; some way in +which I can be wholly yours----" + +"_Wholly mine!_" she repeated, in a smothered voice, and rising. "Leave +me, Arthur. It is too late for you to be here. It was wrong to stay so +late." + +"I have been wrong; but how too late? I entered but this moment. It is +twilight still; is it not?" + +"No: it is almost twelve. You have been here a long four hours; short +ones I would rather say,--but indeed you must go." + +"What made me so thoughtless of the time? But I will go, yet not till +you forgive me." I approached her with a confidence and for a purpose at +which, upon reflection, I am not a little surprised; but the being +called Mervyn is not the same in her company and in that of another. +What is the difference, and whence comes it? Her words and looks engross +me. My mind wants room for any other object. But why inquire whence the +difference? The superiority of her merits and attractions to all those +whom I knew would surely account for my fervour. Indifference, if I +felt it, would be the only just occasion of wonder. + +The hour was, indeed, too late, and I hastened home. Stevens was waiting +my return with some anxiety. I apologized for my delay, and recounted to +him what had just passed. He listened with more than usual interest. +When I had finished,-- + +"Mervyn," said he, "you seem not be aware of your present situation. +From what you now tell me, and from what you have formerly told me, one +thing seems very plain to me." + +"Pr'ythee, what is it?" + +"Eliza Hadwin:--do you wish--could you bear--to see her the wife of +another?" + +"Five years hence I will answer you. Then my answer may be, 'No; I wish +her only to be mine.' Till then, I wish her only to be my pupil, my +ward, my sister." + +"But these are remote considerations; they are bars to marriage, but not +to love. Would it not molest and disquiet you to observe in her a +passion for another?" + +"It would, but only on her own account; not on mine. At a suitable age +it is very likely I may love her, because it is likely, if she holds on +in her present career, she will then be worthy; but at present, though I +would die to insure her happiness, I have no wish to insure it by +marriage with her." + +"Is there no other whom you love?" + +"No. There is one worthier than all others; one whom I wish the woman +who shall be my wife to resemble in all things." + +"And who is this model?" + +"You know I can only mean Achsa Fielding." + +"If you love her likeness, why not love herself?" + +I felt my heart leap.--"What a thought is that! Love her I _do_ as I +love my God; as I love virtue. To love her in another sense would brand +me for a lunatic." + +"To love her as a woman, then, appears to you an act of folly." + +"In me it would be worse than folly. 'Twould be frenzy." + +"And why?" + +"Why? Really, my friend, you astonish me. Nay, you startle me--for a +question like that implies a doubt in you whether I have not actually +harboured the thought." + +"No," said he, smiling, "presumptuous though you be, you have not, +to-be-sure, reached so high a pitch. But still, though I think you +innocent of so heinous an offence, there is no harm in asking why you +might not love her, and even seek her for a wife." + +Achsa Fielding _my wife_! Good Heaven!--The very sound threw my soul +into unconquerable tumults. "Take care, my friend," continued I, in +beseeching accents, "you may do me more injury than you conceive, by +even starting such a thought." + +"True," said he, "as long as such obstacles exist to your success; so +many incurable objections: for instance, she is six years older than +you." + +"That is an advantage. Her age is what it ought to be." + +"But she has been a wife and mother already." + +"That is likewise an advantage. She has wisdom, because she has +experience. Her sensibilities are stronger, because they have been +exercised and chastened. Her first marriage was unfortunate. The purer +is the felicity she will taste in a second! If her second choice be +propitious, the greater her tenderness and gratitude." + +"But she is a foreigner; independent of control, and rich." + +"All which are blessings to herself, and to him for whom her hand is +reserved; especially if, like me, he is indigent." + +"But then she is unsightly as a _night-hag_, tawny as a Moor, the eye of +a gipsy, low in stature, contemptibly diminutive, scarcely bulk enough +to cast a shadow as she walks, less luxuriance than a charred log, fewer +elasticities than a sheet pebble." + +"Hush! hush! blasphemer!"--(and I put my hand before his mouth)--"have I +not told you that in mind, person, and condition, she is the type after +which my enamoured fancy has modelled my wife?" + +"Oh ho! Then the objection does not lie with you. It lies with her, it +seems. She can find nothing in you to esteem! And, pray, for what faults +do you think she would reject you?" + +"I cannot tell. That she can ever balance for a moment, on such a +question, is incredible. _Me! me!_ That Achsa Fielding should think of +me!" + +"Incredible, indeed! You, who are loathsome in your person, an idiot in +your understanding, a villain in your morals! deformed! withered! vain, +stupid, and malignant. That such a one should choose _you_ for an idol!" + +"Pray, my friend," said I, anxiously, "jest not. What mean you by a hint +of this kind?" + +"I will not jest, then, but will soberly inquire, what faults are they +which make this lady's choice of you so incredible? You are younger than +she, though no one, who merely observed your manners and heard you talk, +would take you to be under thirty. You are poor: are these impediments?" + +"I should think not. I have heard her reason with admirable eloquence +against the vain distinctions of property and nation and rank. They were +once of moment in her eyes; but the sufferings, humiliations, and +reflections of years have cured her of the folly. Her nation has +suffered too much by the inhuman antipathies of religious and political +faction; she, herself, has felt so often the contumelies of the rich, +the high-born, and the bigoted, that----" + +"Pr'ythee, then, what dost imagine her objections to be?" + +"Why--I don't know. The thought was so aspiring; to call her _my wife_ +was a height of bliss the very far-off view of which made my head +dizzy." + +"A height, however, to attain which you suppose only her consent, her +love, to be necessary?" + +"Without doubt, her love is indispensable." + +"Sit down, Arthur, and let us no longer treat this matter lightly. I +clearly see the importance of this moment to this lady's happiness and +yours. It is plain that you love this woman. How could you help it? A +brilliant skin is not hers; nor elegant proportions; nor majestic +stature: yet no creature had ever more power to bewitch. Her manners +have grace and dignity that flow from exquisite feelings, delicate +taste, and the quickest and keenest penetration. She has the wisdom of +men and of books. Her sympathies are enforced by reason, and her +charities regulated by knowledge. She has a woman's age, fortune more +than you wish, and a spotless fame. How could you fail to love her? + +"_You_, who are her chosen friend, who partake her pleasures and share +her employments, on whom she almost exclusively bestows her society and +confidence, and to whom she thus affords the strongest of all indirect +proofs of impassioned esteem,--how could you, with all that firmness of +love, joined with all that discernment of her excellence, how could you +escape the enchantment? + +"You have not thought of marriage. You have not suspected your love. +From the purity of your mind, from the idolatry with which this woman +has inspired you, you have imagined no delight beyond that of enjoying +her society as you now do, and have never fostered a hope beyond this +privilege. + +"How quickly would this tranquillity vanish, and the true state of your +heart be evinced, if a rival should enter the scene and be entertained +with preference! then would the seal be removed, the spell be broken, +and you would awaken to terror and to anguish. + +"Of this, however, there is no danger. Your passion is not felt by you +alone. From her treatment of you, your diffidence disables you from +seeing, but nothing can be clearer to me than that she loves you." + +I started on my feet. A flush of scorching heat flowed to every part of +my frame. My temples began to throb like my heart. I was half delirious, +and my delirium was strangely compounded of fear and hope, of delight +and of terror. + +"What have you done, my friend? You have overturned my peace of mind. +Till now the image of this woman has been followed by complacency and +sober rapture; but your words have dashed the scene with dismay and +confusion. You have raised up wishes, and dreams, and doubts, which +possess me in spite of my reason, in spite of a thousand proofs. + +"Good God! You say she loves,--loves _me_!--me, a boy in age; bred in +clownish ignorance; scarcely ushered into the world; more than +childishly unlearned and raw; a barn-door simpleton; a plough-tail, +kitchen-hearth, turnip-hoeing novice! She, thus splendidly endowed; thus +allied to nobles; thus gifted with arts, and adorned with graces; that +she should choose me, me for the partner of her fortune; her affections; +and her life! It cannot be. Yet, if it were; if your guesses +should--prove--Oaf! madman! To indulge so fatal a chimera! So rash a +dream! + +"My friend! my friend! I feel that you have done me an irreparable +injury. I can never more look her in the face. I can never more frequent +her society. These new thoughts will beset and torment me. My disquiet +will chain up my tongue. That overflowing gratitude; that innocent joy, +unconscious of offence, and knowing no restraint, which have hitherto +been my titles to her favour, will fly from my features and manners. I +shall be anxious, vacant, and unhappy in her presence. I shall dread to +look at her, or to open my lips, lest my mad and unhallowed ambition +should betray itself." + +"Well," replied Stevens, "this scene is quite new. I could almost find +it in my heart to pity you. I did not expect this; and yet, from my +knowledge of your character, I ought, perhaps, to have foreseen it. This +is a necessary part of the drama. A joyous certainty, on these +occasions, must always be preceded by suspenses and doubts, and the +close will be joyous in proportion as the preludes are excruciating. Go +to bed, my good friend, and think of this. Time and a few more +interviews with Mrs. Fielding will, I doubt not, set all to rights." + + + + +CHAPTER XLVIII. + + +I went to my chamber, but what different sensations did I carry into it +from those with which I had left it a few hours before! I stretched +myself on the mattress and put out the light; but the swarm of new +images that rushed on my mind set me again instantly in motion. All was +rapid, vague, and undefined, wearying and distracting my attention. I +was roused as by a divine voice, that said, "Sleep no more! Mervyn shall +sleep no more." + +What chiefly occupied me was a nameless sort of terror. What shall I +compare it to? Methinks, that one falling from a tree overhanging a +torrent, plunged into the whirling eddy, and gasping and struggling +while he sinks to rise no more, would feel just as I did then. Nay, some +such image actually possessed me. Such was one of my reveries, in which +suddenly I stretched my hand, and caught the arm of a chair. This act +called me back to reason, or rather gave my soul opportunity to roam +into a new track equally wild. + +Was it the abruptness of this vision that thus confounded me? was it a +latent error in my moral constitution, which this new conjuncture drew +forth into influence? These were all the tokens of a mind lost to +itself; bewildered; unhinged; plunged into a drear insanity. + +Nothing less could have prompted so fantastically; for, midnight as it +was, my chamber's solitude was not to be supported. After a few turns +across the floor, I left the room, and the house. I walked without +design and in a hurried pace. I posted straight to the house of Mrs. +Fielding. I lifted the latch, but the door did not open. It was, no +doubt, locked. + +"How comes this?" said I, and looked around me. The hour and occasion +were unthought of. Habituated to this path, I had taken it +spontaneously. "How comes this?" repeated I. "Locked upon _me_! but I +will summon them, I warrant me,"--and rung the bell, not timidly or +slightly, but with violence. Some one hastened from above. I saw the +glimmer of a candle through the keyhole. + +"Strange," thought I; "a candle at noonday!"--The door was opened, and +my poor Bess, robed in a careless and hasty manner, appeared. She +started at sight of me, but merely because she did not, in a moment, +recognise me.--"Ah! Arthur, is it you? Come in. My mamma has wanted you +these two hours. I was just going to despatch Philip to tell you to +come." + +"Lead me to her," said I. + +She led the way into the parlour.--"Wait a moment here; I will tell her +you are come;"--and she tripped away. + +Presently a step was heard. The door opened again, and then entered a +man. He was tall, elegant, sedate to a degree of sadness; something in +his dress and aspect that bespoke the foreigner, the Frenchman. + +"What," said he, mildly, "is your business with my wife? She cannot see +you instantly, and has sent me to receive your commands." + +"Your _wife_! I want Mrs. Fielding." + +"True; and Mrs. Fielding is my wife. Thank Heaven, I have come in time +to discover her, and claim her as such." + +I started back. I shuddered. My joints slackened, and I stretched my +hand to catch something by which I might be saved from sinking on the +floor. Meanwhile, Fielding changed his countenance into rage and fury. +He called me villain! bade me avaunt! and drew a shining steel from his +bosom, with which he stabbed me to the heart. I sunk upon the floor, and +all, for a time, was darkness and oblivion! At length, I returned as it +were to life. I opened my eyes. The mists disappeared, and I found +myself stretched upon the bed in my own chamber. I remembered the fatal +blow I had received. I put my hand upon my breast; the spot where the +dagger entered. There were no traces of a wound. All was perfect and +entire. Some miracle had made me whole. + +I raised myself up. I re-examined my body. All around me was hushed, +till a voice from the pavement below proclaimed that it was "past three +o'clock." + +"What!" said I; "has all this miserable pageantry, this midnight +wandering, and this ominous interview, been no more than--_a dream_?" + +It may be proper to mention, in explanation of this scene, and to show +the thorough perturbation of my mind during this night, intelligence +gained some days after from Eliza. She said, that about two o'clock, on +this night, she was roused by a violent ringing of the bell. She was +startled by so unseasonable a summons. She slept in a chamber adjoining +Mrs. Fielding's, and hesitated whether she should alarm her friend; but, +the summons not being repeated, she had determined to forbear. + +Added to this, was the report of Mrs. Stevens, who, on the same night, +about half an hour after I and her husband had retired, imagined that +she heard the street door opened and shut; but, this being followed by +no other consequence, she supposed herself mistaken. I have little doubt +that, in my feverish and troubled sleep, I actually went forth, posted +to the house of Mrs. Fielding, rung for admission, and shortly after +returned to my own apartment. + +This confusion of mind was somewhat allayed by the return of light. It +gave way to more uniform but not less rueful and despondent perceptions. +The image of Achsa filled my fancy, but it was the harbinger of nothing +but humiliation and sorrow. To outroot the conviction of my own +unworthiness, to persuade myself that I was regarded with the tenderness +that Stevens had ascribed to her, that the discovery of my thoughts +would not excite her anger and grief, I felt to be impossible. + +In this state of mind, I could not see her. To declare my feelings would +produce indignation and anguish; to hide them from her scrutiny was not +in my power; yet, what would she think of my estranging myself from her +society? What expedient could I honestly adopt to justify my absence, +and what employments could I substitute for those precious hours +hitherto devoted to her? + +"_This_ afternoon," thought I, "she has been invited to spend at +Stedman's country-house on Schuylkill. She consented to go, and I was to +accompany her. I am fit only for solitude. My behaviour, in her +presence, will be enigmatical, capricious, and morose. I must not go: +yet what will she think of my failure? Not to go will be injurious and +suspicious." + +I was undetermined. The appointed hour arrived. I stood at my +chamber-window, torn by a variety of purposes, and swayed alternately by +repugnant arguments. I several times went to the door of my apartment, +and put my foot upon the first step of the staircase, but as often +paused, reconsidered, and returned to my room. + +In these fluctuations the hour passed. No messenger arrived from Mrs. +Fielding, inquiring into the cause of my delay. Was she offended at my +negligence? Was she sick and disabled from going, or had she changed her +mind? I now remembered her parting words at our last interview. Were +they not susceptible of two constructions? She said my visit was too +long, and bade me begone. Did she suspect my presumption, and is she +determined thus to punish me? + +This terror added anew to all my former anxieties. It was impossible to +rest in this suspense. I would go to her; I would lay before her all the +anguish of my heart; I would not spare myself. She shall not reproach me +more severely than I will reproach myself. I will hear my sentence from +her own lips, and promise unlimited submission to the doom of separation +and exile which she will pronounce. + +I went forth to her house. The drawing-room and summer-house were empty. +I summoned Philip the footman: his mistress was gone to Mr. Stedman's. + +"How?--To Stedman's?--In whose company?" + +"Miss Stedman and her brother called for her in the carriage, and +persuaded her to go with them." + +Now my heart sunk, indeed! Miss Stedman's _brother_! A youth, forward, +gallant, and gay! Flushed with prosperity, and just returned from +Europe, with all the confidence of age, and all the ornaments of +education! She has gone with him, though pre-engaged to me! Poor Arthur, +how art thou despised! + +This information only heightened my impatience. I went away, but +returned in the evening. I waited till eleven, but she came not back. I +cannot justly paint the interval that passed till next morning. It was +void of sleep. On leaving her house, I wandered into the fields. Every +moment increased my impatience. "She will probably spend the morrow at +Stedman's," said I, "and possibly the next day. Why should I wait for +her return? Why not seek her there, and rid myself at once of this +agonizing suspense? Why not go thither now? This night, wherever I spend +it, will be unacquainted with repose. I will go; it is already near +twelve, and the distance is more than eight miles. I will hover near the +house till morning, and then, as early as possible, demand an +interview." + +I was well acquainted with Stedman's villa, having formerly been there +with Mrs. Fielding. I quickly entered its precincts. I went close to the +house; looked mournfully at every window. At one of them a light was to +be seen, and I took various stations to discover, if possible, the +persons within. Methought once I caught a glimpse of a female, whom my +fancy easily imagined to be Achsa. I sat down upon the lawn, some +hundred feet from the house, and opposite the window whence the light +proceeded. I watched it, till at length some one came to the window, +lifted it, and, leaning on her arms, continued to look out. + +The preceding day had been a very sultry one: the night, as usual after +such a day and the fall of a violent shower, was delightfully serene and +pleasant. Where I stood was enlightened by the moon. Whether she saw me +or not, I could hardly tell, or whether she distinguished any thing but +a human figure. + +Without reflecting on what was due to decorum and punctilio, I +immediately drew near the house. I quickly perceived that her attention +was fixed. Neither of us spoke, till I had placed myself directly under +her; I then opened my lips, without knowing in what manner to address +her. She spoke first, and in a startled and anxious voice:-- + +"Who is that?" + +"Arthur Mervyn; he that was two days ago your friend." + +"Mervyn! What is it that brings you here at this hour? What is the +matter? What has happened? Is anybody sick?" + +"All is safe; all are in good health." + +"What then do you come hither for at such an hour?" + +"I meant not to disturb you; I meant not to be seen." + +"Good heavens! How you frighten me! What can be the reason of so +strange----" + +"Be not alarmed. I meant to hover near the house till morning, that I +might see you as early as possible." + +"For what purpose?" + +"I will tell you when we meet, and let that be at five o'clock; the sun +will then be risen; in the cedar-grove under the bank; till when, +farewell." + +Having said this, I prevented all expostulation, by turning the angle of +the house, and hastening towards the shore of the river. I roved about +the grove that I have mentioned. In one part of it is a rustic seat and +table, shrouded by trees and shrubs, and an intervening eminence, from +the view of those in the house. This I designed to be the closing scene +of my destiny. + +Presently I left this spot, and wandered upward through embarrassed and +obscure paths, starting forward or checking my pace, according as my +wayward meditations governed me. Shall I describe my thoughts? +Impossible! It was certainly a temporary loss of reason; nothing less +than madness could lead into such devious tracks, drag me down to so +hopeless, helpless, panicful a depth, and drag me down so suddenly; lay +waste, as at a signal, all my flourishing structures, and reduce them in +a moment to a scene of confusion and horror. + +What did I fear? What did I hope? What did I design? I cannot tell; my +glooms were to retire with the night. The point to which every +tumultuous feeling was linked was the coming interview with Achsa. That +was the boundary of fluctuation and suspense. Here was the sealing and +ratification of my doom. + +I rent a passage through the thicket, and struggled upward till I +reached the edge of a considerable precipice; I laid me down at my +length upon the rock, whose cold and hard surface I pressed with my +bared and throbbing breast. I leaned over the edge; fixed my eyes upon +the water and wept--plentifully; but why? + +May _this_ be my heart's last beat, if I can tell why? + +I had wandered so far from Stedman's, that, when roused by the light, I +had some miles to walk before I could reach the place of meeting. Achsa +was already there. I slid down the rock above, and appeared before her. +Well might she be startled at my wild and abrupt appearance. + +I placed myself, without uttering a word, upon a seat opposite to her, +the table between, and, crossing my arms upon the table, leaned my head +upon them, while my face was turned towards and my eyes fixed upon hers. +I seemed to have lost the power and the inclination to speak. + +She regarded me, at first, with anxious curiosity; after examining my +looks, every emotion was swallowed up in terrified sorrow. "For God's +sake!--what does all this mean? Why am I called to this place? What +tidings, what fearful tidings, do you bring?" + +I did not change my posture or speak. "What," she resumed, "could +inspire all this woe? Keep me not in this suspense, Arthur; these looks +and this silence shock and afflict me too much." + +"Afflict you?" said I, at last; "I come to tell you what, now that I am +here, I cannot tell----" There I stopped. + +"Say what, I entreat you. You seem to be very unhappy--such a +change--from yesterday!" + +"Yes! From yesterday; all then was a joyous calm, and now all is--but +then I knew not my infamy, my guilt----" + +"What words are these, and from you, Arthur? Guilt is to you impossible. +If purity is to be found on earth, it is lodged in your heart. What have +you done?" + +"I have dared--how little you expect the extent of my daring! That such +as I should look upwards with this ambition." + +I stood up, and taking her hands in mine, as she sat, looked earnestly +in her face:--"I come only to beseech your pardon. To tell you my crime, +and then disappear forever; but first let me see if there be any omen of +forgiveness. Your looks--they are kind; heavenly; compassionate still. I +will trust them, I believe; and yet" (letting go her hands, and turning +away) "this offence is beyond the reach even of _your_ mercy." + +"How beyond measure these words and this deportment distress me! Let me +know the worst; I cannot bear to be thus perplexed." + +"Why," said I, turning quickly round and again taking her hands, "that +Mervyn, whom you have honoured and confided in, and blessed with your +sweet regards, has been----" + +"What has he been? Divinely amiable, heroic in his virtue, I am sure. +What else has he been?" + +"This Mervyn has imagined, has dared--will you forgive him?" + +"Forgive you what? Why don't you speak? Keep not my soul in this +suspense." + +"He has dared--But do not think that I am he. Continue to look as now, +and reserve your killing glances, the vengeance of those eyes, as for +one that is absent.----Why, what--you weep, then, at last. That is a +propitious sign. When pity drops from the eyes of our judge, then should +the suppliant approach. Now, in confidence of pardon, I will tell you; +this Mervyn, not content with all you have hitherto granted him, has +dared--to _love_ you; nay, to think of you as of _his wife_!" + +Her eye sunk beneath mine, and, disengaging her hands, she covered her +face with them. + +"I see my fate," said I, in a tone of despair. "Too well did I predict +the effect of this confession; but I will go--_and unforgiven_." + +She now partly uncovered her face. The hand was withdrawn from her +cheek, and stretched towards me. She looked at me. + +"Arthur! I _do_ forgive thee."--With what accents was this uttered! With +what looks! The cheek that was before pale with terror was now crimsoned +over by a different emotion, and delight swam in her eye. + +Could I mistake? My doubts, my new-born fears, made me tremble while I +took the offered hand. + +"Surely," faltered I, "I am not--I cannot be--so blessed." + +There was no need of words. The hand that I held was sufficiently +eloquent. She was still silent. + +"Surely," said I, "my senses deceive me. A bliss like this cannot be +reserved for me. Tell me once more--set my doubting heart at rest." + +She now gave herself to my arms:--"I have not words--Let your own heart +tell you, you have made your Achsa----" + +At this moment, a voice from without (it was Miss Stedman's) called, +"Mrs. Fielding! where are you?" + +My friend started up, and, in a hasty voice, bade me begone. "You must +not be seen by this giddy girl. Come hither this evening, as if by my +appointment, and I will return with you."--She left me in a kind of +trance. I was immovable. My reverie was too delicious;--but let me not +attempt the picture. If I can convey no image of my state previous to +this interview, my subsequent feelings are still more beyond the reach +of my powers to describe. + +Agreeably to the commands of my mistress, I hastened away, evading paths +which might expose me to observation. I speedily made my friends partake +of my joy, and passed the day in a state of solemn but confused rapture. +I did not accurately portray the various parts of my felicity. The whole +rushed upon my soul at once. My conceptions were too rapid and too +comprehensive to be distinct. + +I went to Stedman's in the evening. I found in the accents and looks of +my Achsa new assurances that all which had lately passed was more than a +dream. She made excuses for leaving the Stedmans sooner than ordinary, +and was accompanied to the city by her friend. We dropped Mrs. Fielding +at her own house, and thither, after accompanying Miss Stedman to her +own home, I returned upon the wings of tremulous impatience. + +Now could I repeat every word of every conversation that has since taken +place between us; but why should I do that on paper? Indeed, it could +not be done. All is of equal value, and all could not be comprised but +in many volumes. There needs nothing more deeply to imprint it on my +memory; and, while thus reviewing the past, I should be iniquitously +neglecting the present. What is given to the pen would be taken from +her; and that, indeed, would be--but no need of saying what it would be, +since it is impossible. + +I merely write to allay these tumults which our necessary separation +produces; to aid me in calling up a little patience till the time +arrives when our persons, like our minds, shall be united forever. That +time--may nothing happen to prevent--but nothing can happen. But why +this ominous misgiving just now? My love has infected me with these +unworthy terrors, for she has them too. + +This morning I was relating my dream to her. She started, and grew pale. +A sad silence ensued the cheerfulness that had reigned before:--"Why +thus dejected, my friend?" + +"I hate your dream. It is a horrid thought. Would to God it had never +occurred to you!" + +"Why, surely, you place no confidence in dreams?" + +"I know not where to place confidence; not in my present promises of +joy,"--and she wept. I endeavoured to soothe or console her. Why, I +asked, did she weep? + +"My heart is sore. Former disappointments were so heavy; the hopes which +were blasted were so like my present ones, that the dread of a like +result will intrude upon my thoughts. And now your dream! Indeed, I know +not what to do. I believe I ought still to retract--ought, at least, to +postpone an act so irrevocable." + +Now was I obliged again to go over my catalogue of arguments to induce +her to confirm her propitious resolution to be mine within the week. I, +at last, succeeded, even in restoring her serenity, and beguiling her +fears by dwelling on our future happiness. + +Our household, while we stayed in America,--in a year or two we hie to +Europe,--should be _thus_ composed. Fidelity, and skill, and pure +morals, should be sought out, and enticed, by generous recompenses, into +our domestic service. Duties which should be light and regular.--Such +and such should be our amusements and employments abroad and at home: +and would not this be true happiness? + +"Oh yes--if it may be so." + +"It shall be so; but this is but the humble outline of the scene; +something is still to be added to complete our felicity." + +"What more can be added?" + +"What more? Can Achsa ask what more? She who has not been _only_ a +wife----" + +But why am I indulging this pen-prattle? The hour she fixed for my +return to her is come, and now take thyself away, quill. Lie there, snug +in thy leathern case, till I call for thee, and that will not be very +soon. I believe I will abjure thy company till all is settled with my +love. Yes; I _will_ abjure thee; so let _this_ be thy last office, till +Mervyn has been made the happiest of men. + + +THE END. + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Arthur Mervyn, by Charles Brockden Brown + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ARTHUR MERVYN *** + +***** This file should be named 18508.txt or 18508.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/8/5/0/18508/ + +Produced by Graeme Mackreth and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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