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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The American Cyclops, the Hero of New
+Orleans, and Spoiler of Silver Spoons, by James Fairfax McLaughlin
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The American Cyclops, the Hero of New Orleans, and Spoiler of Silver Spoons
+
+Author: James Fairfax McLaughlin
+
+Release Date: May 2, 2007 [EBook #21274]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AMERICAN CYCLOPS ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Bryan Ness, David T. Jones and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from scans of public domain works at the
+University of Michigan's Making of America collection.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: "A pot-house soldier, he parades by day,
+ And drunk by night, he sighs the foe to slay." _Page_ 19.]
+
+
+
+
+THE
+AMERICAN CYCLOPS,
+
+THE
+HERO OF NEW ORLEANS,
+
+AND
+
+SPOILER OF SILVER SPOONS.
+
+
+Dubbed LL.D.
+
+by
+PASQUINO.
+
+BALTIMORE: KELLY & PIET.
+1868.
+
+
+Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1867, by
+KELLY & PIET,
+
+In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the
+District of Maryland.
+
+
+
+
+Introductory.
+
+
+The following little illustrated effusion is offered to the public, in
+the hope that it may not prove altogether uninteresting, or entirely
+inappropriate to the times. The famous pre-historic story of Ulysses
+and Polyphemus has received its counterpart in the case of two
+well-known personages of our own age and country. Ulysses of old
+contrived, with a burning stake, to put out the glaring eye of
+Polyphemus, the man-eating Cyclops, and thereby to abridge his power
+for cannibal indulgence; while our modern Ulysses, perhaps, mindful of
+his classical prototype, is content to leave the new Polyphemus safely
+"bottled-up" under the hermetical seal of the saucy Rebel Beauregard.
+Although the second Cyclops is yet alive, and still possesses the
+visual organ in a squinting degree, a regard for impartial history
+compels us to add, that the sword which leapt from its scabbard in
+front of Fort Fisher, has fallen from the grasp of the "bottled"
+chieftain, whether from an invincible repugnance to warlike deeds,
+like that which pervaded the valiant soul of the renowned Falstaff, or
+because an axe on the public grindstone is a more congenial weapon in
+the itching palm of a Knight of Spoons, has not yet been determined
+with absolute precision.
+
+The warrior Ulysses, like his namesake of Ithaca, however widely
+opinion may militate upon his other qualifications, certainly deserves
+the everlasting gratitude of a spoon-desolated country for the
+strategy displayed in tearing off the plumes of the American
+Polyphemus, and fixing that precious flower of knighthood among the
+"bottled" curiosities of natural history.
+
+
+
+
+The American Cyclops.
+
+
+Progressive age! for contemplation's eye,
+Thy checker'd scenes a glorious field supply;
+Time was when Mercury waved the potent wand,
+And Nature brightened in the artist's hand,--
+When mind's dominion round the world was thrown,
+Before usurping Mammon seized the throne.
+Aspiring genius, chill thy noble rage,
+For baser uses rule our iron age;
+Drive the hard bargain, mart for sordid gain,
+And where it will not win, hold honor vain;
+
+[Illustration: "He wakes a patriot, presto, he is clad
+ As Fallstaff for the battle--raving mad." _Page_ 21.]
+
+
+
+
+To lofty subjects bring the narrow view,
+Shift with each scene, and principle eschew.
+Are these the elements of man's success?
+Go where the busy throng all onward press;
+Ay, there they flourish and will long remain,
+Till virtue purge the haunts where vice doth reign.
+Not to the few the moral taint's confined,
+But in its boundless range infects mankind;
+'Twere idle to upbraid the good old plea--
+Might governs all, the rest were mock'ry.
+The plumpest fly a sparrow's meal provides--
+The heartless bird its agony derides:
+"Nay," quoth relentless Sparrow, "you must die,
+For you, weak thing, are not so strong as I."
+A Hawk surprised him at his dainty meal,
+In vain the Sparrow gasped his last appeal;
+
+
+[Illustration: "The faithful groom the pawing steed attends,
+ The maudlin Cyclops all oblique ascends;
+ But ere the lambent flames consume the town
+ The Cid unhorsed, like Bacchus, topples down." _Page_ 21.]
+
+
+
+
+"Wherefore, Sir Hawk, must I, thy victim, die?"
+"Peace," quoth the Hawk, "thou art less strong than I."
+Grimly an Eagle viewed the state of matters,
+Swoops on Sir Hawk, and tears his flesh to tatters:
+"Release me, King, and doom me not to die;"
+The Eagle said, "thou art less strong than I."
+A bullet whistled at the victor's word,
+And pierced the bosom of the lordly bird;
+"Ah, tyrant!" shrieked he, "wherefore must I die?"
+The Sportsman said, "thou art less strong than I."
+And thus the world to might becomes the dower,
+While justice yields before remorseless power.
+
+
+[Illustration: "He blew a warlike trump
+ And marched to conquest--conquest of a pump." _Page_ 23.]
+
+
+
+
+When distant ages rise to view our times,
+Whate'er betide our _silv'ry_ flowing rhymes,
+The brave we sing--Boeotian of the East
+Will still survive to spread the mimic feast.
+'Tis said in fables that Silenus old
+To Midas lent the fatal gift of gold;
+But Terminus, the god of rogues, has giv'n
+Our hero gold unbless'd of man or heav'n.
+'Mid all the tyrants of our age and clime,
+He stands alone in infamy and crime;
+Not e'en Thersites of the cunning tribe,
+Gloried in guile like him we now describe.
+Born of a race where thrift, with iron rod,
+Taught punic faith and mocked the laws of God;
+Where stern oppression held her impious reign,
+And mild dissent was death with torturous pain;
+His youth drank in the lessons of his race,
+Which stamp'd their impress on his hideous face.
+
+
+[Illustration: "Like Fallstaff, seeks repose and dreams of glory,
+ While Bethel's thunder peal'd another story." _Page_ 23.]
+
+
+
+
+Old England's bard with epic fire illum'd
+Tartarean pits, where fiends with darkness gloom'd;
+But 'mid th' infernal host this face had shone,
+Grimmest of all 'neath dread Armageddon.
+The outward form proclaimed the inner man,
+And frightened virtue fled where it began;
+The heart, the head, there devils might fear to dwell,
+Lest in their depths there lurked a deeper hell,
+Does fiction, fancy, gild the picture drawn,
+Hate cloud our judgment, truth give place to scorn?
+Go seek the answer in the youth at school--
+He scoffs at church and laughs at human rule.
+A beggar,[1] he plays his _role_ with brazen cheek,
+With equal ease _insurgent_ or a "sneak."
+
+
+[Illustration: "Leaves gallant Winthrop to his mournful fate,
+ But takes the field when haply 'tis too late." _Page_ 23.]
+
+
+
+
+A theologian, without doctor's chair,
+He dons the gown t' escape the task of prayer.
+"Heresiarch recant, or leave the school:"
+A recantation proved the knave no fool.[2]
+Behold him later in another sphere,
+Where thieves abound and murderers appear;
+Tricked out in low and meretricious art,
+He plays with skill the pettifogger's part;
+Chicanery's brought to succor darkest crime,
+Too basely foul t' expose in decent rhyme.
+Oh! shades of Littleton and Murray rise,
+Where Webster trod and Choate all honor'd lies--
+Rise to behold the satyr in their place,
+Who points the moral of his clime and race;
+And if decay and shame may wake thy grief,
+Weep for New England cursed by such a chief.
+
+
+[Illustration: "Our hero vowed Magruder's works to take,
+ Whereof the books no mention deign to make." _Page_ 23.]
+
+
+
+
+Oh! hapless hour, when from the stormy North,
+This modern Cyclops marched repellent forth,
+To slake his thirst for blood and plundered wealth,
+Not as the soldier, but by fraud and stealth;
+To waft the gales of death with horror rife
+On helpless age, and wage with women strife:
+To leave at Baltimore and New Orleans
+The drunkard's name, or worse, the gibbet's scenes;
+To license lust with all a lecher's rage,
+And stab the virtue of a Christian age:
+
+
+[Illustration: "Born of a race where thrift, with iron rod,
+ Taught punic faith and mocked the laws of God;
+
+ * * * * * * * * *
+
+ His youth drank in the lessons of his race,
+ Which stamp'd their impress on his hideous face." _Page_ 11.]
+
+
+
+
+This single crime will fix a beastly name,
+Fresh in immortal infamy and shame.
+Whence comes his martial fame, who thus has soar'd,
+While thousands fell and deadly cannon roar'd?
+The _raw militia_ of his native State
+Had taught him war and made our hero great.
+A pot-house soldier, he parades by day,
+And drunk by night, he sighs the foe to slay;
+In vision sees the future road to fame,
+The bale-fires burn and cities wrapped in flame:
+The gathered treasure of a teeming land
+Glitters and falls beneath his blood-stained hand;
+Plantations smiling, palaces all bright,
+Stuff'd with their wealth of plate, dance to his sight,
+And drunken Polyphemus[3] grimly swoons,
+
+
+[Illustration: "But _Io Bacche_! Victory comes at last--
+ Our doughty chief in New Orleans is cast;
+ The donkey stole the lion's skin and brayed,
+ And Farragut our Cyclop's fortune made." _Page_ 23.]
+
+
+
+
+As heir expectant of unnumbered spoons.[4]
+He wakes a patriot; presto, he is clad
+As Fallstaff for the battle--raving mad.
+Lo! Baltimore becomes the first emprise,
+When Gilmor's scandal shock'd the men at Guy's:
+"To horse, to horse," our hero drunk exclaims,
+"I'll crush rebellion--give the town to flames."
+The faithful groom the pawing steed attends,
+The maudlin Cyclops all oblique ascends;
+But ere the lambent flames consume the town,
+The Cid unhorsed, like Bacchus, topples down.
+Old Juno's goose erst saved imperial Rome,
+But Rebel whisky saves the Rebels' home.
+Next comes the dismal order--'tis from Scott--
+
+
+[Illustration: "Fraternal discord cease." _Page 27._]
+
+
+
+
+"Leave Baltimore." He blew a warlike trump,
+And marched to conquest--conquest of a pump!
+Like Falstaff, seeks repose and dreams of glory,
+While Bethel's thunder peal'd another story;
+Leaves gallant Winthrop to his mournful fate,
+But takes the field when haply 'tis too late.
+Wrath gnaws his bowels, and with words profane,
+He swore an oath, as once the Queen of Spain
+Vowed the same garment _malgrè_ wear and tear,
+Till Ostend fell she would forever wear.
+Our hero vowed Magruder's works to take,
+Whereof the books no mention deign to make;
+For well we know the batt'ries poured their thunder,
+While wise Sir Spoons sought easier paths to plunder.
+But _Io Bacche_! Victory comes at last--
+Our doughty chief in New Orleans is cast;
+
+
+[Illustration: ""I'll blow Fort Fisher 'mong the region kites!"
+ Oh, glorious thought! but ere the fort ignites,
+ Our Cyclop's sailed away infirm of will,
+ And saucy Fisher flashed defiance still." _Page_ 25.]
+
+
+
+
+The donkey stole the lion's skin and brayed,
+And Farragut our Cyclop's fortune made.
+Where are the trophies of our Yankee brave?
+The lecherous order, and poor Mumford's grave;
+Ship Island's tortures, Mrs. Phillips' cell,
+For mercy's reign the cruelty of hell;
+A Shylock brother--a Prætorian band--
+A starving city and a plundered land:
+These are his triumphs--Fisher was his shame,--
+Oh! triumph worse than is the coward's name.
+"I'll blow Fort Fisher 'mong the region kites!"
+Oh, glorious thought! but ere the fort ignites,
+Our Cyclop's sailed away infirm of will,
+And saucy Fisher flash'd defiance still.
+"Far better I were _hermetically_ seal'd,
+Than homeward borne upon a bloody shield."
+
+
+[Illustration: "But hold, enough; no further we'll pursue
+ The modern Haynau. "Bottled" Chief, adieu." _Page_ 27.]
+
+
+
+
+"Fort Fisher be my epitaph!" 'Tis meet,
+For long ago it gave thy winding sheet.
+But hold, enough; no further we'll pursue
+The modern Haynau. "Bottled" Chief, adieu.
+Haply my country's freedom still remains,
+And with the night have passed oppression's chains:
+Oh, may the storms which settle o'er our land
+Be gently lifted by th' all-saving Hand;
+The dove return; fraternal discord cease,
+And millions join the Jubilee of Peace!
+
+
+ * * * * * *
+
+
+FOOTNOTES
+
+[1] He entered College in his sixteenth year as a future candidate for
+the ministry. As he was without resources, he was compelled to do manual
+work to meet the expenses incurred at the Institution. The fact is
+creditable.
+
+[2] Many instances are related of his insubordination at school and
+disputes with superiors. One of the preachers having advanced the
+opinion that only one in every hundred Christians would, perhaps, be
+saved, our hero drew up a theological petition asking leave to vacate
+his seat in church, very candidly regarding himself as among the number
+that would be lost. A public reprimand for his smart irreverence was the
+only answer vouchsafed the unfledged Doctor.
+
+[3] _Monstrum et horrendum, informe, ingens, cui lumen ademptum._ Virg.
+Æneid. lib. iii.
+
+[4] The people of a captured city were subjected to fines and levies and
+open plunder, and in some instances imprisoned at hard labor with ball
+and chain.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The American Cyclops, the Hero of New
+Orleans, and Spoiler of Silver Spoons, by James Fairfax McLaughlin
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AMERICAN CYCLOPS ***
+
+***** This file should be named 21274-8.txt or 21274-8.zip *****
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+ http://www.gutenberg.org/2/1/2/7/21274/
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+ <head>
+ <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" />
+ <title>
+ The Project Gutenberg eBook of "The American Cyclops, The Hero of New Orleans" by Pasquino
+ </title>
+ <style type="text/css">
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+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The American Cyclops, the Hero of New
+Orleans, and Spoiler of Silver Spoons, by James Fairfax McLaughlin
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The American Cyclops, the Hero of New Orleans, and Spoiler of Silver Spoons
+
+Author: James Fairfax McLaughlin
+
+Release Date: May 2, 2007 [EBook #21274]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AMERICAN CYCLOPS ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Bryan Ness, David T. Jones and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from scans of public domain works at the
+University of Michigan's Making of America collection.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a name="pic1" id="pic1"></a>
+<img src="images/image001.png" class="border" width="400" height="582" alt="A pot-house soldier" title=""/>
+
+<p class="caption"><span class="right">Picture 1.</span>"A pot-house soldier, he parades by day,<br />
+And drunk by night, he sighs the foe to slay."<br />
+<span class="right"><a href="#pothouse"><i>Page</i>&nbsp;19</a>.</span>
+</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%; margin-top: 150px;" />
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_two" id="Page_two">
+[Pg&nbsp;2]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3>THE</h3>
+
+<h1>AMERICAN CYCLOPS,</h1>
+
+<h3 style="margin-top: 50px; margin-bottom: -20px;">THE</h3>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width:600px;">
+<img src="images/image017j.png" width="600" height="44" alt="hero of new orleans " title="" />
+</div>
+
+<h5 style="margin-top: 50px;">AND</h5>
+
+<h2>SPOILER OF SILVER SPOONS.</h2>
+
+
+<h5 style="margin-top: 50px;">Dubbed LL.D.</h5>
+
+<h5>by</h5>
+
+<h3>PASQUINO.</h3>
+
+<h3>BALTIMORE:&nbsp; KELLY &amp; PIET.</h3>
+
+<h5>1868.</h5>
+
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h5 style="margin-bottom: 0px;">Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1867, by</h5>
+
+<h4 style="margin-top: 0px;">KELLY &amp; PIET,</h4>
+
+<h5>In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the<br />
+District of Maryland.</h5>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_three" id="Page_three">
+[Pg&nbsp;3]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width:358px;">
+<img width="358" height="89" src="images/image015j.png" alt="introductory" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width:130px;">
+<img width="130" height="31" src="images/image013.png" alt="glyph" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p><img src="images/image014.png" width="69" height="78" alt="T" class="firstletter" />
+HE following little illustrated effusion is offered to the public, in
+the hope that it may not prove altogether uninteresting, or entirely
+inappropriate to the times. The famous pre-historic story of Ulysses
+and Polyphemus has received its counterpart in the case of two
+well-known personages of our own age and country. Ulysses of old
+contrived, with a burning stake, to put out the glaring eye of
+Polyphemus, the man-eating Cyclops, and thereby to abridge his power
+for cannibal indulgence; while our modern Ulysses, perhaps, mindful of
+his classical prototype, is content to leave the new Polyphemus safely
+"bottled-up" under the hermetical seal of the saucy Rebel Beauregard.
+Although the second Cyclops is yet
+<span class="left"><a name="Page_four" id="Page_four">[Pg&nbsp;4]</a></span>
+alive, and still possesses the visual organ in a squinting degree, a regard
+ for impartial history compels us to add, that the sword which leapt
+from its scabbard in front of Fort Fisher, has fallen from the grasp of
+the "bottled" chieftain, whether from an invincible repugnance to
+warlike deeds, like that which pervaded the valiant soul of the renowned
+Falstaff, or because an axe on the public grindstone is a more congenial
+weapon in the itching palm of a Knight of Spoons, has not yet been
+determined with absolute precision.</p>
+
+<p>The warrior Ulysses, like his namesake of Ithaca, however widely
+opinion may militate upon his other qualifications, certainly deserves
+the everlasting gratitude of a spoon-desolated country for the
+strategy displayed in tearing off the plumes of the American
+Polyphemus, and fixing that precious flower of knighthood among the
+"bottled" curiosities of natural history.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_five" id="Page_five">
+[Pg&nbsp;5]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width:350px;">
+<img width="350" height="67" src="images/image016j.png" alt="the american cyclops" title="" />
+</div>
+
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width:130px">
+<img width="130" height="31" src="images/image013.png" alt=" " title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p>Progressive age! for contemplation's eye,<br />
+Thy checker'd scenes a glorious field supply;<br />
+Time was when Mercury waved the potent wand,<br />
+And Nature brightened in the artist's hand,&mdash;<br />
+When mind's dominion round the world was thrown,<br />
+Before usurping Mammon seized the throne.<br />
+Aspiring genius, chill thy noble rage,<br />
+For baser uses rule our iron age;<br />
+Drive the hard bargain, mart for sordid gain,<br />
+And where it will not win, hold honor vain;</p>
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_six" id="Page_six">
+[Pg&nbsp;6]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 376px;">
+<a name="pic2" id="pic2"></a>
+<img src="images/image002.png" class="border" width="376" height="627" alt="He wakes a patriot" title="" />
+
+
+<p class="caption"><span class="right">Picture 2.</span>"He wakes a patriot, presto, he is clad<br />
+As Fallstaff for the battle&mdash;raving mad."
+<span class="right"><a href="#patriot"><i>Page</i>&nbsp;21</a>.</span>
+</p>
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_seven" id="Page_seven">
+[Pg&nbsp;7]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>To lofty subjects bring the narrow view,<br />
+Shift with each scene, and principle eschew.<br />
+Are these the elements of man's success?<br />
+Go where the busy throng all onward press;<br />
+Ay, there they flourish and will long remain,<br />
+Till virtue purge the haunts where vice doth reign.<br />
+Not to the few the moral taint's confined,<br />
+But in its boundless range infects mankind;<br />
+'Twere idle to upbraid the good old plea&mdash;<br />
+Might governs all, the rest were mock'ry.<br />
+The plumpest fly a sparrow's meal provides&mdash;<br />
+The heartless bird its agony derides:<br />
+"Nay," quoth relentless Sparrow, "you must die,<br />
+For you, weak thing, are not so strong as I."<br />
+A Hawk surprised him at his dainty meal,<br />
+In vain the Sparrow gasped his last appeal;</p>
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_eight" id="Page_eight">
+[Pg&nbsp;8]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;">
+<a name="pic3" id="pic3"></a>
+<img src="images/image003.png" class="border" width="600" height="427" alt="The fearful groom" title="" />
+
+<p class="caption" style="width: 500px;"><span class="right">Picture 3.</span>"The faithful groom the pawing steed attends,<br />
+The maudlin Cyclops all oblique ascends;<br />
+But ere the lambent flames consume the town<br />
+The Cid unhorsed, like Bacchus, topples down."
+<span class="right"><a href="#groom"><i>Page</i>&nbsp;21</a>.</span>
+</p>
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_nine" id="Page_nine">
+[Pg&nbsp;9]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"Wherefore, Sir Hawk, must I, thy victim, die?"<br />
+"Peace," quoth the Hawk, "thou art less strong than I."<br />
+Grimly an Eagle viewed the state of matters,<br />
+Swoops on Sir Hawk, and tears his flesh to tatters:<br />
+"Release me, King, and doom me not to die;"<br />
+The Eagle said, "thou art less strong than I."<br />
+A bullet whistled at the victor's word,<br />
+And pierced the bosom of the lordly bird;<br />
+"Ah, tyrant!" shrieked he, "wherefore must I die?"<br />
+The Sportsman said, "thou art less strong than I."<br />
+And thus the world to might becomes the dower,<br />
+While justice yields before remorseless power.<br /><br /></p>
+
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_ten" id="Page_ten">
+[Pg&nbsp;10]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;">
+<a name="pic4" id="pic4"></a>
+<img src="images/image004.png" width="600" class="border" height="410" alt="He blew a warlike..." title="" />
+
+
+<p class="caption" style="width: 500px;"><span class="right">Picture 4.</span>"He blew a warlike trump<br />
+And marched to conquest&mdash;conquest of a pump."<br />
+<span class="right"><a href="#warlike"><i>Page</i>&nbsp;23</a>.</span>
+</p>
+</div>
+
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_eleven" id="Page_eleven">
+[Pg&nbsp;11]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>When distant ages rise to view our times,<br />
+Whate'er betide our <i>silv'ry</i> flowing rhymes,<br />
+The brave we sing&mdash;B&oelig;otian of the East<br />
+Will still survive to spread the mimic feast.<br />
+'Tis said in fables that Silenus old<br />
+To Midas lent the fatal gift of gold;<br />
+But Terminus, the god of rogues, has giv'n<br />
+Our hero gold unbless'd of man or heav'n.<br />
+'Mid all the tyrants of our age and clime,<br />
+He stands alone in infamy and crime;<br />
+Not e'en Thersites of the cunning tribe,<br />
+Gloried in guile like him we now describe.<br />
+Born of a race where thrift, with iron rod,<br />
+Taught punic faith and mocked the laws of God;<br />
+Where stern oppression held her impious reign,<br />
+And mild dissent was death with torturous pain;<br />
+His <a name="youth" id="youth"></a>youth drank in the lessons of his race,<a href="#pic8"><span class="right2">[See picture 8]</span></a><br />
+Which stamp'd their impress on his hideous face.</p>
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_twelve" id="Page_twelve">
+[Pg&nbsp;12]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;">
+<a name="pic5" id="pic5"></a>
+<img src="images/image005.png" class="border" width="600" height="443" alt="Like Fallstaff..." title="" />
+
+<p class="caption" style="width: 500px;"><span class="right">Picture 5.</span>"Like Fallstaff, seeks repose and dreams of glory,<br />
+While Bethel's thunder peal'd another story."<br />
+<span class="right"><a href="#fallstaff"><i>Page</i>&nbsp;23</a>.</span>
+</p>
+</div>
+
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_thirteen" id="Page_thirteen">
+[Pg&nbsp;13]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Old England's bard with epic fire illum'd<br />
+Tartarean pits, where fiends with darkness gloom'd;<br />
+But 'mid th' infernal host this face had shone,<br />
+Grimmest of all 'neath dread Armageddon.<br />
+The outward form proclaimed the inner man,<br />
+And frightened virtue fled where it began;<br />
+The heart, the head, there devils might fear to dwell,<br />
+Lest in their depths there lurked a deeper hell,<br />
+Does fiction, fancy, gild the picture drawn,<br />
+Hate cloud our judgment, truth give place to scorn?<br />
+Go seek the answer in the youth at school&mdash;<br />
+He scoffs at church and laughs at human rule.<br />
+A beggar,<a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a>
+<a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a>
+ he plays his <i>role</i> with brazen cheek,<br />
+With equal ease <i>insurgent</i> or a "sneak."</p>
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_fourteen" id="Page_fourteen">
+[Pg&nbsp;14]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;">
+<a name="pic6" id="pic6"></a>
+<img src="images/image006.png" class="border" width="600" height="415" alt="Leaves gallant" title="" />
+
+<p class="caption" style="width: 500px;"><span class="right">Picture 6.</span>"Leaves gallant Winthrop to his mournful fate,<br />
+But takes the field when haply 'tis too late."<br />
+<span class="right"><a href="#gallant"><i>Page</i>&nbsp;23</a>.</span>
+</p>
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_fifteen" id="Page_fifteen">
+[Pg&nbsp;15]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>A theologian, without doctor's chair,<br />
+He dons the gown t' escape the task of prayer.<br />
+"Heresiarch recant, or leave the school:"<br />
+A recantation proved the knave no fool.
+<a name="FNanchor_2_2" id="FNanchor_2_2"></a>
+<a href="#Footnote_2_2" class="fnanchor">[2]</a><br />
+Behold him later in another sphere,<br />
+Where thieves abound and murderers appear;<br />
+Tricked out in low and meretricious art,<br />
+He plays with skill the pettifogger's part;<br />
+Chicanery's brought to succor darkest crime,<br />
+Too basely foul t' expose in decent rhyme.<br />
+Oh! shades of Littleton and Murray rise,<br />
+Where Webster trod and Choate all honor'd lies&mdash;<br />
+Rise to behold the satyr in their place,<br />
+Who points the moral of his clime and race;<br />
+And if decay and shame may wake thy grief,<br />
+Weep for New England cursed by such a chief.</p>
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_sixteen" id="Page_sixteen">
+[Pg&nbsp;16]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a name="pic7" id="pic7"></a>
+<img src="images/image007.png" class="border" width="400" height="603" alt="Our hero vowed" title="" />
+
+
+<p class="caption"><span class="right">Picture 7.</span>"Our hero vowed Magruder's works to take,<br />
+Whereof the books no mention deign to make."<br />
+<span class="right"><a href="#hero"><i>Page</i>&nbsp;23</a>.</span></p>
+</div>
+
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_seventeen" id="Page_seventeen">
+[Pg&nbsp;17]</a></span>
+
+<br /><br /></p>
+
+<p>Oh! hapless hour, when from the stormy North,<br />
+This modern Cyclops marched repellent forth,<br />
+To slake his thirst for blood and plundered wealth,<br />
+Not as the soldier, but by fraud and stealth;<br />
+To waft the gales of death with horror rife<br />
+On helpless age, and wage with women strife:<br />
+To leave at Baltimore and New Orleans<br />
+The drunkard's name, or worse, the gibbet's scenes;<br />
+To license lust with all a lecher's rage,<br />
+And stab the virtue of a Christian age:</p>
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_eighteen" id="Page_eighteen">
+[Pg&nbsp;18]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a name="pic8" id="pic8"></a>
+<img src="images/image008.png" class="border" width="400" height="645" alt="Born of a race" title="" />
+<p class="caption" style="width: 400px; margin-bottom: 0em;"><span class="right">Picture 8.</span>"Born of a race where thrift, with iron rod,<br />
+Taught punic faith and mocked the laws of God;<br />
+<span style="padding-left: 3em; letter-spacing: 1em;">*********</span><br />
+His youth drank in the lessons of his race,<br />
+Which stamp'd their impress on his hideous face."<br />
+<span class="right"><a href="#youth"><i>Page</i>&nbsp;11</a>.</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_nineteen" id="Page_nineteen">
+[Pg&nbsp;19]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>This single crime will fix a beastly name,<br />
+Fresh in immortal infamy and shame.<br />
+Whence comes his martial fame, who thus has soar'd,<br />
+While thousands fell and deadly cannon roar'd?<br />
+The <i>raw militia</i> of his native State <br />
+Had taught him war and made our hero great.<br />
+A <a name="pothouse" id="pothouse"></a>pot-house soldier, he parades by day,<a href="#pic1"><span class="right2">[See picture 1]</span></a><br />
+And drunk by night, he sighs the foe to slay;<br />
+In vision sees the future road to fame,<br />
+The bale-fires burn and cities wrapped in flame:<br />
+The gathered treasure of a teeming land<br />
+Glitters and falls beneath his blood-stained hand;<br />
+Plantations smiling, palaces all bright,<br />
+Stuff'd with their wealth of plate, dance to his sight,<br />
+And drunken Polyphemus<a name="FNanchor_3_3" id="FNanchor_3_3"></a>
+<a href="#Footnote_3_3" class="fnanchor">[3]</a> grimly swoons,</p>
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_twenty" id="Page_twenty">
+[Pg&nbsp;20]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;">
+<a name="pic9" id="pic9"></a>
+<img src="images/image009.png" class="border" width="600" height="384" alt="But Io Bacche" title="" />
+
+
+<p class="caption" style="width: 500px;"><span class="right">Picture 9.</span>"But <i>Io Bacche</i>! Victory comes at last&mdash;<br />
+Our doughty chief in New Orleans is cast;<br />
+The donkey stole the lion's skin and brayed,<br />
+And Farragut our Cyclop's fortune made."<br />
+<span class="right"><a href="#victory"><i>Page</i>&nbsp;23</a>.</span>
+</p>
+</div>
+
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_twentyone" id="Page_twentyone">
+[Pg&nbsp;21]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>As heir expectant of unnumbered spoons.
+<a name="FNanchor_4_4" id="FNanchor_4_4"></a>
+<a href="#Footnote_4_4" class="fnanchor">[4]</a><br />
+He wakes a <a name="patriot" id="patriot"></a>patriot; presto, he is clad<a href="#pic2"><span class="right2">[See picture 2]</span></a><br />
+As Fallstaff for the battle&mdash;raving mad.<br />
+Lo! Baltimore becomes the first emprise,<br />
+When Gilmor's scandal shock'd the men at Guy's:<br />
+"To horse, to horse," our hero drunk exclaims,<br />
+"I'll crush rebellion&mdash;give the town to flames."<br />
+The faithful <a name="groom" id="groom"></a>groom the pawing steed attends,<a href="#pic3"><span class="right2">[See picture 3]</span></a><br />
+The maudlin Cyclops all oblique ascends;<br />
+But ere the lambent flames consume the town,<br />
+The Cid unhorsed, like Bacchus, topples down.<br />
+Old Juno's goose erst saved imperial Rome,<br />
+But Rebel whisky saves the Rebels' home.<br />
+Next comes the dismal order&mdash;'tis from Scott&mdash;</p>
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_twentytwo" id="Page_twentytwo">
+[Pg&nbsp;22]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 387px;">
+<a name="pic10" id="pic10"></a>
+<img src="images/image010.png" class="border" width="387" height="598" alt="Fraternal discord cease." title="" />
+
+
+<p class="caption"><span class="right">Picture 10.</span>"Fraternal discord cease."<br />
+<span class="right"><a href="#fraternal"><i>Page</i>&nbsp;27</a>.</span>
+</p>
+</div>
+
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_twentythree" id="Page_twentythree">
+[Pg&nbsp;23]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"Leave Baltimore." He blew <a name="warlike" id="warlike"></a>a warlike trump,<a href="#pic4"><span class="right2">[See picture 4]</span></a><br />
+And marched to conquest&mdash;conquest of a pump!<br />
+Like <a name="fallstaff" id="fallstaff"></a>Falstaff, seeks repose and dreams of glory,<a href="#pic5"><span class="right2">[See picture 5]</span></a><br />
+While Bethel's thunder peal'd another story;<br />
+Leaves <a name="gallant" id="gallant"></a>gallant Winthrop to his mournful fate,<a href="#pic6"><span class="right2">[See picture 6]</span></a><br />
+But takes the field when haply 'tis too late.<br />
+Wrath gnaws his bowels, and with words profane,<br />
+He swore an oath, as once the Queen of Spain<br />
+Vowed the same garment <i>malgr&egrave;</i> wear and tear,<br />
+Till Ostend fell she would forever wear.<br />
+Our <a name="hero" id="hero"></a>hero vowed Magruder's works to take,<a href="#pic7"><span class="right2">[See picture 7]</span></a><br />
+Whereof the books no mention deign to make;<br />
+For well we know the batt'ries poured their thunder,<br />
+While wise Sir Spoons sought easier paths to plunder.<br />
+But <i>Io Bacche</i>! <a name="victory" id="victory"></a>Victory comes at last&mdash;<a href="#pic9"><span class="right2">[See picture 9]</span></a><br />
+Our doughty chief in New Orleans is cast;</p>
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_twentyfour" id="Page_twentyfour">
+[Pg&nbsp;24]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;">
+<a name="pic11" id="pic11"></a>
+<img src="images/image011.png" class="border" width="600" height="433" alt="I'll blow Fort Fisher" title="" />
+
+
+<p class="caption" style="width: 500px;"><span class="right">Picture 11.</span>""I'll blow Fort Fisher 'mong the region kites!"<br />
+Oh, glorious thought! but ere the fort ignites,<br />
+Our Cyclop's sailed away infirm of will,<br />
+And saucy Fisher flashed defiance still."<br />
+<span class="right"><a href="#fort"><i>Page</i>&nbsp;25.</a></span>
+</p>
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_twentyfive" id="Page_twentyfive">
+[Pg&nbsp;25]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>The donkey stole the lion's skin and brayed,<br />
+And Farragut our Cyclop's fortune made.<br />
+Where are the trophies of our Yankee brave?<br />
+The lecherous order, and poor Mumford's grave;<br />
+Ship Island's tortures, Mrs. Phillips' cell,<br />
+For mercy's reign the cruelty of hell;<br />
+A Shylock brother&mdash;a Pr&aelig;torian band&mdash;<br />
+A starving city and a plundered land:<br />
+These are his triumphs&mdash;Fisher was his shame,&mdash;<br />
+Oh! triumph worse than is the coward's name.<br />
+<a name="fort" id="fort"></a>"I'll blow Fort Fisher 'mong the region kites!"<a href="#pic11"><span class="right2">[See picture 11]</span></a><br />
+Oh, glorious thought! but ere the fort ignites,<br />
+Our Cyclop's sailed away infirm of will,<br />
+And saucy Fisher flash'd defiance still.<br />
+"Far better I were <i>hermetically</i> seal'd,<br />
+Than homeward borne upon a bloody shield."</p>
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_twentysix" id="Page_twentysix">
+[Pg&nbsp;26]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a name="pic12" id="pic12"></a>
+<img src="images/image012.png" class="border" width="400" height="640" alt="But hold, enough" title="" />
+
+
+<p class="caption"><span class="right">Picture 12.</span>"But hold, enough; no further we'll pursue<br />
+The modern Haynau. "Bottled" Chief, adieu." <br />
+<span class="right"><a href="#hold"><i>Page</i>&nbsp;27</a>.</span></p>
+</div>
+
+
+<p><span class="left"><a name="Page_twentyseven" id="Page_twentyseven">
+[Pg&nbsp;27]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"Fort Fisher be my epitaph!" 'Tis meet,<br />
+For long ago it gave thy winding sheet.<br />
+But <a name ="hold" id="hold"></a>hold, enough; no further we'll pursue<a href="#pic12"><span class="right2">[See picture 12]</span></a><br />
+The modern Haynau. "Bottled" Chief, adieu.<br />
+Haply my country's freedom still remains,<br />
+And with the night have passed oppression's chains:<br />
+Oh, may the storms which settle o'er our land<br />
+Be gently lifted by th' all-saving Hand;<br />
+The dove return; <a name="fraternal" id="fraternal"></a>fraternal discord cease,<a href="#pic10"><span class="right2">[See picture 10]</span></a><br />
+And millions join the Jubilee of Peace!</p>
+
+
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width:276px">
+<img src="images/image018.png" width="276" height="68" alt=" " title="" />
+</div>
+
+
+<div class="footnotes">
+
+<h3>FOOTNOTES:</h3>
+
+<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a>
+<a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a>
+<p style="line-height: 1.2em;">He entered College in his sixteenth year as a future
+candidate for the ministry. As he was without resources, he was
+compelled to do manual work to meet the expenses incurred at the
+Institution. The fact is creditable.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote_2_2" id="Footnote_2_2"></a>
+<a href="#FNanchor_2_2"><span class="label">[2]</span></a>
+<p style="line-height: 1.2em;">Many instances are related of his insubordination at
+school and disputes with superiors. One of the preachers having
+advanced the opinion that only one in every hundred Christians would,
+perhaps, be saved, our hero drew up a theological petition asking
+leave to vacate his seat in church, very candidly regarding himself as
+among the number that would be lost. A public reprimand for his smart
+irreverence was the only answer vouchsafed the unfledged Doctor.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote_3_3" id="Footnote_3_3"></a>
+<a href="#FNanchor_3_3"><span class="label">[3]</span></a>
+<p style="line-height: 1.2em;"><i>Monstrum et horrendum, informe, ingens, cui lumen
+ademptum.</i> Virg. &AElig;neid. lib. iii.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote_4_4" id="Footnote_4_4"></a>
+<a href="#FNanchor_4_4"><span class="label">[4]</span></a>
+<p style="line-height: 1.2em;">The people of a captured city were subjected to fines and
+levies and open plunder, and in some instances imprisoned at hard
+labor with ball and chain.</p>
+</div>
+</div>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The American Cyclops, the Hero of New
+Orleans, and Spoiler of Silver Spoons, by James Fairfax McLaughlin
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+</pre>
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+ </body>
+</html>
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@@ -0,0 +1,769 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The American Cyclops, the Hero of New
+Orleans, and Spoiler of Silver Spoons, by James Fairfax McLaughlin
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The American Cyclops, the Hero of New Orleans, and Spoiler of Silver Spoons
+
+Author: James Fairfax McLaughlin
+
+Release Date: May 2, 2007 [EBook #21274]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AMERICAN CYCLOPS ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Bryan Ness, David T. Jones and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from scans of public domain works at the
+University of Michigan's Making of America collection.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: "A pot-house soldier, he parades by day,
+ And drunk by night, he sighs the foe to slay." _Page_ 19.]
+
+
+
+
+THE
+AMERICAN CYCLOPS,
+
+THE
+HERO OF NEW ORLEANS,
+
+AND
+
+SPOILER OF SILVER SPOONS.
+
+
+Dubbed LL.D.
+
+by
+PASQUINO.
+
+BALTIMORE: KELLY & PIET.
+1868.
+
+
+Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1867, by
+KELLY & PIET,
+
+In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the
+District of Maryland.
+
+
+
+
+Introductory.
+
+
+The following little illustrated effusion is offered to the public, in
+the hope that it may not prove altogether uninteresting, or entirely
+inappropriate to the times. The famous pre-historic story of Ulysses
+and Polyphemus has received its counterpart in the case of two
+well-known personages of our own age and country. Ulysses of old
+contrived, with a burning stake, to put out the glaring eye of
+Polyphemus, the man-eating Cyclops, and thereby to abridge his power
+for cannibal indulgence; while our modern Ulysses, perhaps, mindful of
+his classical prototype, is content to leave the new Polyphemus safely
+"bottled-up" under the hermetical seal of the saucy Rebel Beauregard.
+Although the second Cyclops is yet alive, and still possesses the
+visual organ in a squinting degree, a regard for impartial history
+compels us to add, that the sword which leapt from its scabbard in
+front of Fort Fisher, has fallen from the grasp of the "bottled"
+chieftain, whether from an invincible repugnance to warlike deeds,
+like that which pervaded the valiant soul of the renowned Falstaff, or
+because an axe on the public grindstone is a more congenial weapon in
+the itching palm of a Knight of Spoons, has not yet been determined
+with absolute precision.
+
+The warrior Ulysses, like his namesake of Ithaca, however widely
+opinion may militate upon his other qualifications, certainly deserves
+the everlasting gratitude of a spoon-desolated country for the
+strategy displayed in tearing off the plumes of the American
+Polyphemus, and fixing that precious flower of knighthood among the
+"bottled" curiosities of natural history.
+
+
+
+
+The American Cyclops.
+
+
+Progressive age! for contemplation's eye,
+Thy checker'd scenes a glorious field supply;
+Time was when Mercury waved the potent wand,
+And Nature brightened in the artist's hand,--
+When mind's dominion round the world was thrown,
+Before usurping Mammon seized the throne.
+Aspiring genius, chill thy noble rage,
+For baser uses rule our iron age;
+Drive the hard bargain, mart for sordid gain,
+And where it will not win, hold honor vain;
+
+[Illustration: "He wakes a patriot, presto, he is clad
+ As Fallstaff for the battle--raving mad." _Page_ 21.]
+
+
+
+
+To lofty subjects bring the narrow view,
+Shift with each scene, and principle eschew.
+Are these the elements of man's success?
+Go where the busy throng all onward press;
+Ay, there they flourish and will long remain,
+Till virtue purge the haunts where vice doth reign.
+Not to the few the moral taint's confined,
+But in its boundless range infects mankind;
+'Twere idle to upbraid the good old plea--
+Might governs all, the rest were mock'ry.
+The plumpest fly a sparrow's meal provides--
+The heartless bird its agony derides:
+"Nay," quoth relentless Sparrow, "you must die,
+For you, weak thing, are not so strong as I."
+A Hawk surprised him at his dainty meal,
+In vain the Sparrow gasped his last appeal;
+
+
+[Illustration: "The faithful groom the pawing steed attends,
+ The maudlin Cyclops all oblique ascends;
+ But ere the lambent flames consume the town
+ The Cid unhorsed, like Bacchus, topples down." _Page_ 21.]
+
+
+
+
+"Wherefore, Sir Hawk, must I, thy victim, die?"
+"Peace," quoth the Hawk, "thou art less strong than I."
+Grimly an Eagle viewed the state of matters,
+Swoops on Sir Hawk, and tears his flesh to tatters:
+"Release me, King, and doom me not to die;"
+The Eagle said, "thou art less strong than I."
+A bullet whistled at the victor's word,
+And pierced the bosom of the lordly bird;
+"Ah, tyrant!" shrieked he, "wherefore must I die?"
+The Sportsman said, "thou art less strong than I."
+And thus the world to might becomes the dower,
+While justice yields before remorseless power.
+
+
+[Illustration: "He blew a warlike trump
+ And marched to conquest--conquest of a pump." _Page_ 23.]
+
+
+
+
+When distant ages rise to view our times,
+Whate'er betide our _silv'ry_ flowing rhymes,
+The brave we sing--Boeotian of the East
+Will still survive to spread the mimic feast.
+'Tis said in fables that Silenus old
+To Midas lent the fatal gift of gold;
+But Terminus, the god of rogues, has giv'n
+Our hero gold unbless'd of man or heav'n.
+'Mid all the tyrants of our age and clime,
+He stands alone in infamy and crime;
+Not e'en Thersites of the cunning tribe,
+Gloried in guile like him we now describe.
+Born of a race where thrift, with iron rod,
+Taught punic faith and mocked the laws of God;
+Where stern oppression held her impious reign,
+And mild dissent was death with torturous pain;
+His youth drank in the lessons of his race,
+Which stamp'd their impress on his hideous face.
+
+
+[Illustration: "Like Fallstaff, seeks repose and dreams of glory,
+ While Bethel's thunder peal'd another story." _Page_ 23.]
+
+
+
+
+Old England's bard with epic fire illum'd
+Tartarean pits, where fiends with darkness gloom'd;
+But 'mid th' infernal host this face had shone,
+Grimmest of all 'neath dread Armageddon.
+The outward form proclaimed the inner man,
+And frightened virtue fled where it began;
+The heart, the head, there devils might fear to dwell,
+Lest in their depths there lurked a deeper hell,
+Does fiction, fancy, gild the picture drawn,
+Hate cloud our judgment, truth give place to scorn?
+Go seek the answer in the youth at school--
+He scoffs at church and laughs at human rule.
+A beggar,[1] he plays his _role_ with brazen cheek,
+With equal ease _insurgent_ or a "sneak."
+
+
+[Illustration: "Leaves gallant Winthrop to his mournful fate,
+ But takes the field when haply 'tis too late." _Page_ 23.]
+
+
+
+
+A theologian, without doctor's chair,
+He dons the gown t' escape the task of prayer.
+"Heresiarch recant, or leave the school:"
+A recantation proved the knave no fool.[2]
+Behold him later in another sphere,
+Where thieves abound and murderers appear;
+Tricked out in low and meretricious art,
+He plays with skill the pettifogger's part;
+Chicanery's brought to succor darkest crime,
+Too basely foul t' expose in decent rhyme.
+Oh! shades of Littleton and Murray rise,
+Where Webster trod and Choate all honor'd lies--
+Rise to behold the satyr in their place,
+Who points the moral of his clime and race;
+And if decay and shame may wake thy grief,
+Weep for New England cursed by such a chief.
+
+
+[Illustration: "Our hero vowed Magruder's works to take,
+ Whereof the books no mention deign to make." _Page_ 23.]
+
+
+
+
+Oh! hapless hour, when from the stormy North,
+This modern Cyclops marched repellent forth,
+To slake his thirst for blood and plundered wealth,
+Not as the soldier, but by fraud and stealth;
+To waft the gales of death with horror rife
+On helpless age, and wage with women strife:
+To leave at Baltimore and New Orleans
+The drunkard's name, or worse, the gibbet's scenes;
+To license lust with all a lecher's rage,
+And stab the virtue of a Christian age:
+
+
+[Illustration: "Born of a race where thrift, with iron rod,
+ Taught punic faith and mocked the laws of God;
+
+ * * * * * * * * *
+
+ His youth drank in the lessons of his race,
+ Which stamp'd their impress on his hideous face." _Page_ 11.]
+
+
+
+
+This single crime will fix a beastly name,
+Fresh in immortal infamy and shame.
+Whence comes his martial fame, who thus has soar'd,
+While thousands fell and deadly cannon roar'd?
+The _raw militia_ of his native State
+Had taught him war and made our hero great.
+A pot-house soldier, he parades by day,
+And drunk by night, he sighs the foe to slay;
+In vision sees the future road to fame,
+The bale-fires burn and cities wrapped in flame:
+The gathered treasure of a teeming land
+Glitters and falls beneath his blood-stained hand;
+Plantations smiling, palaces all bright,
+Stuff'd with their wealth of plate, dance to his sight,
+And drunken Polyphemus[3] grimly swoons,
+
+
+[Illustration: "But _Io Bacche_! Victory comes at last--
+ Our doughty chief in New Orleans is cast;
+ The donkey stole the lion's skin and brayed,
+ And Farragut our Cyclop's fortune made." _Page_ 23.]
+
+
+
+
+As heir expectant of unnumbered spoons.[4]
+He wakes a patriot; presto, he is clad
+As Fallstaff for the battle--raving mad.
+Lo! Baltimore becomes the first emprise,
+When Gilmor's scandal shock'd the men at Guy's:
+"To horse, to horse," our hero drunk exclaims,
+"I'll crush rebellion--give the town to flames."
+The faithful groom the pawing steed attends,
+The maudlin Cyclops all oblique ascends;
+But ere the lambent flames consume the town,
+The Cid unhorsed, like Bacchus, topples down.
+Old Juno's goose erst saved imperial Rome,
+But Rebel whisky saves the Rebels' home.
+Next comes the dismal order--'tis from Scott--
+
+
+[Illustration: "Fraternal discord cease." _Page 27._]
+
+
+
+
+"Leave Baltimore." He blew a warlike trump,
+And marched to conquest--conquest of a pump!
+Like Falstaff, seeks repose and dreams of glory,
+While Bethel's thunder peal'd another story;
+Leaves gallant Winthrop to his mournful fate,
+But takes the field when haply 'tis too late.
+Wrath gnaws his bowels, and with words profane,
+He swore an oath, as once the Queen of Spain
+Vowed the same garment _malgre_ wear and tear,
+Till Ostend fell she would forever wear.
+Our hero vowed Magruder's works to take,
+Whereof the books no mention deign to make;
+For well we know the batt'ries poured their thunder,
+While wise Sir Spoons sought easier paths to plunder.
+But _Io Bacche_! Victory comes at last--
+Our doughty chief in New Orleans is cast;
+
+
+[Illustration: ""I'll blow Fort Fisher 'mong the region kites!"
+ Oh, glorious thought! but ere the fort ignites,
+ Our Cyclop's sailed away infirm of will,
+ And saucy Fisher flashed defiance still." _Page_ 25.]
+
+
+
+
+The donkey stole the lion's skin and brayed,
+And Farragut our Cyclop's fortune made.
+Where are the trophies of our Yankee brave?
+The lecherous order, and poor Mumford's grave;
+Ship Island's tortures, Mrs. Phillips' cell,
+For mercy's reign the cruelty of hell;
+A Shylock brother--a Praetorian band--
+A starving city and a plundered land:
+These are his triumphs--Fisher was his shame,--
+Oh! triumph worse than is the coward's name.
+"I'll blow Fort Fisher 'mong the region kites!"
+Oh, glorious thought! but ere the fort ignites,
+Our Cyclop's sailed away infirm of will,
+And saucy Fisher flash'd defiance still.
+"Far better I were _hermetically_ seal'd,
+Than homeward borne upon a bloody shield."
+
+
+[Illustration: "But hold, enough; no further we'll pursue
+ The modern Haynau. "Bottled" Chief, adieu." _Page_ 27.]
+
+
+
+
+"Fort Fisher be my epitaph!" 'Tis meet,
+For long ago it gave thy winding sheet.
+But hold, enough; no further we'll pursue
+The modern Haynau. "Bottled" Chief, adieu.
+Haply my country's freedom still remains,
+And with the night have passed oppression's chains:
+Oh, may the storms which settle o'er our land
+Be gently lifted by th' all-saving Hand;
+The dove return; fraternal discord cease,
+And millions join the Jubilee of Peace!
+
+
+ * * * * * *
+
+
+FOOTNOTES
+
+[1] He entered College in his sixteenth year as a future candidate for
+the ministry. As he was without resources, he was compelled to do manual
+work to meet the expenses incurred at the Institution. The fact is
+creditable.
+
+[2] Many instances are related of his insubordination at school and
+disputes with superiors. One of the preachers having advanced the
+opinion that only one in every hundred Christians would, perhaps, be
+saved, our hero drew up a theological petition asking leave to vacate
+his seat in church, very candidly regarding himself as among the number
+that would be lost. A public reprimand for his smart irreverence was the
+only answer vouchsafed the unfledged Doctor.
+
+[3] _Monstrum et horrendum, informe, ingens, cui lumen ademptum._ Virg.
+AEneid. lib. iii.
+
+[4] The people of a captured city were subjected to fines and levies and
+open plunder, and in some instances imprisoned at hard labor with ball
+and chain.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The American Cyclops, the Hero of New
+Orleans, and Spoiler of Silver Spoons, by James Fairfax McLaughlin
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AMERICAN CYCLOPS ***
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