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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/21639-8.txt b/21639-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ccbc2b1 --- /dev/null +++ b/21639-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,5411 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of When Patty Went to College, by Jean Webster + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: When Patty Went to College + +Author: Jean Webster + +Illustrator: C. D. Williams + +Release Date: May 29, 2007 [EBook #21639] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHEN PATTY WENT TO COLLEGE *** + + + + +Produced by Bruce Albrecht, Emmy and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + +[Illustration: Patty] + + +When Patty Went to College + +By + +Jean Webster + + With Illustrations + by C. D. Williams + +[Illustration] + + New York + The Century Co. + 1903 + + Copyright, 1903, by + THE CENTURY CO. + + Copyright, 1901, 1902, by TRUTH CO. + + * * * * * + + _Published March, 1903_ + + * * * * * + + THE DEVINNE PRESS + + TO + 234 MAIN AND THE GOOD + TIMES WE HAVE HAD THERE + + + + +Contents + + + PAGE + I PETERS THE SUSCEPTIBLE 1 + II AN EARLY FRIGHT 21 + III THE IMPRESSIONABLE MR. TODHUNTER 39 + IV A QUESTION OF ETHICS 57 + V THE ELUSIVE KATE FERRIS 73 + VI A STORY WITH FOUR SEQUELS 89 + VII IN PURSUIT OF OLD ENGLISH 103 + VIII THE DECEASED ROBERT 121 + IX PATTY THE COMFORTER 133 + X "PER L'ITALIA" 147 + XI "LOCAL COLOR" 177 + XII THE EXIGENCIES OF ETIQUETTE 203 + XIII A CRASH WITHOUT 215 + XIV THE MYSTERY OF THE SHADOWED SOPHOMORE 237 + XV PATTY AND THE BISHOP 257 + + + + +List of Illustrations + + + FACING PAGE + + Patty _Frontispiece_ + + Men know such a lot about such things! 18 + + Mr. Algernon Vivian Todhunter, gingerly sitting on the + edge of a chair 54 + + What's the matter, Patty? 110 + + Olivia Copeland 172 + + I have just run away from you, Bishop Copeley 266 + + + + +I + +Peters the Susceptible + + +"Paper-weights," observed Patty, sucking an injured thumb, "were +evidently not made for driving in tacks. I wish I had a hammer." + +This remark called forth no response, and Patty peered down from the top +of the step-ladder at her room-mate, who was sitting on the floor +dragging sofa-pillows and curtains from a dry-goods box. + +"Priscilla," she begged, "you aren't doing anything useful. Go down and +ask Peters for a hammer." + +Priscilla rose reluctantly. "I dare say fifty girls have already been +after a hammer." + +"Oh, he has a private one in his back pocket. Borrow that. And, +Pris,"--Patty called after her over the transom,--"just tell him to +send up a man to take that closet door off its hinges." + +Patty, in the interval, sat down on the top step and surveyed the chaos +beneath her. An Oriental rush chair, very much out at the elbows, +several miscellaneous chairs, two desks, a divan, a table, and two +dry-goods boxes radiated from the center of the room. The floor, as it +showed through the interstices, was covered with a grass-green carpet, +while the curtains and hangings were of a not very subdued crimson. + +"One would scarcely," Patty remarked to the furniture in general, "call +it a symphony in color." + +A knock sounded on the door. + +"Come in," she called. + +A girl in a blue linen sailor-suit reaching to her ankles, and with a +braid of hair hanging down her back, appeared in the doorway. Patty +examined her in silence. The girl's eyes traveled around the room in +some surprise, and finally reached the top of the ladder. + +"I--I'm a freshman," she began. + +"My dear," murmured Patty, in a deprecatory tone, "I should have taken +you for a senior; but"--with a wave of her hand toward the nearest +dry-goods box--"come in and sit down. I need your advice. Now, there are +shades of green," she went on, as if continuing a conversation, "which +are not so bad with red; but I ask you frankly if _that_ shade of green +would go with anything?" + +The freshman looked at Patty, and looked at the carpet, and smiled +dubiously. "No," she admitted; "I don't believe it would." + +"I knew you would say that!" exclaimed Patty, in a tone of relief. "Now +what would you advise us to do with the carpet?" + +The freshman looked blank. "I--I don't know, unless you take it up," she +stammered. + +"The very thing!" said Patty. "I wonder we hadn't thought of it before." + +Priscilla reappeared at this point with the announcement, "Peters is +the most suspicious man I ever knew!" But she stopped uncertainly as she +caught sight of the freshman. + +"Priscilla," said Patty, severely, "I _hope_ you didn't divulge the fact +that we are hanging the walls with tapestry"--this with a wave of her +hand toward the printed cotton cloth dangling from the molding. + +"I tried not to," said Priscilla, guiltily, "but he read 'tapestry' in +my eyes. He had no sooner looked at me than he said, 'See here, miss; +you know it's against the rules to hang curtains on the walls, and you +mustn't put nails in the plastering, and I don't believe you need a +hammer anyway.'" + +"Disgusting creature!" said Patty. + +"But," continued Priscilla, hastily, "I stopped and borrowed Georgie +Merriles's hammer on my way back. Oh, I forgot," she added; "he says we +can't take the closet door off its hinges--that as soon as we get ours +off five hundred other young ladies will be wanting theirs off, and +that it would take half a dozen men all summer to put them back again." + +A portentous frown was gathering on Patty's brow, and the freshman, +wishing to avert a possible domestic tragedy, inquired timidly, "Who is +Peters?" + +"Peters," said Priscilla, "is a short, bow-legged gentleman with a red +Vandyke beard, whose technical title is janitor, but who is really +dictator. Every one is afraid of him--even Prexy." + +"I'm not," said Patty; "and," she added firmly, "that door is coming +down whether he says so or not, so I suppose we shall have to do it +ourselves." Her eyes wandered back to the carpet and her face +brightened. "Oh, Pris, we've got a beautiful new scheme. My friend here +says she doesn't like the carpet at all, and suggests that we take it +up, get some black paint, and put it on the floor ourselves. I agree," +she added, "that a Flemish oak floor covered with rugs would be a great +improvement." + +Priscilla glanced uncertainly from the freshman to the floor. "Do you +think they'd let us do it?" + +"It would never do to ask them," said Patty. + +The freshman rose uneasily. "I came," she said hesitatingly, "to find +out--that is, I understand that the girls rent their old books, and I +thought, if you wouldn't mind--" + +"Mind!" said Patty, reassuringly. "We'd rent our souls for fifty cents a +semester." + +"It--it was a Latin dictionary I wanted," said the freshman, "and the +girls next door said perhaps you had one." + +"A beautiful one," said Patty. + +"No," interrupted Priscilla; "hers is lost from O to R, and it's all +torn; but mine,"--she dived down into one of the boxes and hauled out a +chunky volume without any covers,--"while it is not so beautiful as it +was once, it is still as useful." + +"Mine's annotated," said Patty, "and illustrated. I'll show you what a +superior book it is," and she began descending the ladder; but +Priscilla charged upon her and she retreated to the top again. "Why," +she wailed to the terrified freshman, "did you not say you wanted a +dictionary before she came back? Let me give you some advice at the +beginning of your college career," she added warningly. "Never choose a +room-mate bigger than yourself. They're dangerous." + +The freshman was backing precipitously toward the door, when it opened +and revealed an attractive-looking girl with fluffy reddish hair. + +"Pris, you wretch, you walked off with my hammer!" + +"Oh, Georgie, we need it worse than you do! Come in and help tack." + +"Hello, Georgie," called Patty, from the ladder. "Isn't this room going +to be beautiful when it's finished?" + +Georgie looked about. "You are more sanguine than I should be," she +laughed. + +"You can't tell yet," Patty returned. "We're going to cover the +wall-paper with this red stuff, and paint the floor black, and have dark +furniture, and red hangings, and soft lights. It will look just like the +Oriental Room in the Waldorf." + +"How in the world," Georgie demanded, "do you ever make them let you do +all these things? I stuck in three innocent little thumb-tacks to-day, +and Peters descended upon me bristling with wrath, and said he'd report +me if I didn't pull them out." + +"We never ask," explained Patty. "It's the only way." + +"You've got enough to do if you expect to get settled by Monday," +Georgie remarked. + +"_C'est vrai_," agreed Patty, descending the ladder with a sudden access +of energy; "and you've got to stay and help us. We have to get all this +furniture moved into the bedrooms and the carpet up before we even +_begin_ to paint." She regarded the freshman tentatively. "Are you +awfully busy?" + +"Not very. My room-mate hasn't come yet, so I can't settle." + +"That's nice; then you can help us move furniture." + +"Patty!" said Priscilla, "I think you are too bad." + +"I should really love to stay and help, if you'll let me." + +"Certainly," said Patty, obligingly. "I forgot to ask your name," she +continued, "and I don't suppose you like to be called 'Freshman'; it's +not specific enough." + +"My name is Genevieve Ainslee Randolph." + +"Genevieve Ains--dear me! I can't remember anything like that. Do you +mind if I call you Lady Clara Vere de Vere for short?" + +The freshman looked doubtful, and Patty proceeded: "Lady Clara, allow me +to present my room-mate Miss Priscilla Pond--no relation to the extract. +She's athletic and wins hundred-yard dashes and hurdle races, and gets +her name in the paper to a really gratifying extent. And my dear friend +Miss Georgie Merriles, one of the oldest families in Dakota. Miss +Merriles is very talented--sings in the glee club, plays on the comb--" + +"And," interrupted Georgie, "let me present Miss Patty Wyatt, who--" + +"Has no specialty," said Patty, modestly, "but is merely good and +beautiful and bright." + +A knock sounded on the door, which opened without waiting for a +response. "Miss Theodora Bartlet," continued Patty, "commonly known as +the Twin, Miss Vere de Vere." + +The Twin looked dazed, murmured, "Miss Vere de Vere," and dropped down +on a dry-goods box. + +"The term 'Twin,'" explained Patty, "is used in a merely allegorical +sense. There is really only one of her. The title was conferred in her +freshman year, and the reason has been lost in the dim dawn of +antiquity." + +The freshman looked at the Twin and opened her mouth, but shut it again +without saying anything. + +"My favorite maxim," said Patty, "has always been, 'Silence is golden.' +I observe that we are kindred spirits." + +"Patty," said Priscilla, "do stop bothering that poor child and get to +work." + +"Bothering?" said Patty. "I am not bothering her; we are just getting +acquainted. However, I dare say it is not the time for hollow +civilities. Do you want to borrow anything?" she added, turning to the +Twin, "or did you just drop in to pay a social call?" + +"Just a social call; but I think I'll come in again when there's no +furniture to move." + +"You don't happen to be going into town this afternoon?" + +"Yes," said the Twin. "But," she added guardedly, "if it's a +curtain-pole, I refuse to bring it out. I offered to bring one out for +Lucille Carter last night, because she was in a hurry to give a +house-warming, and I speared the conductor with it getting into the car; +and while I was apologizing to him I knocked Mrs. Prexy's hat off with +the other end." + +"We have all the curtain-poles we need," said Patty. "It's just some +paint--five cans of black paint, and three brushes at the ten-cent +store, and thank you very much. Good-by. Now," she continued, "the first +thing is to get that door down, and I will wrest a screw-driver from the +unwilling Peters while you remove tacks from the carpet." + +"He won't give you one," said Priscilla. + +"You'll see," said Patty. + +Five minutes later she returned waving above her head an unmistakable +screw-driver. "_Voilà, mes amies!_ Peters's own private screw-driver, +for which I am to be personally responsible." + +"How did you get it?" inquired Priscilla, suspiciously. + +"You act," said Patty, "as if you thought I knocked him down in some +dark corner and robbed him. I merely asked him for it politely, and he +asked me what I wanted to do with it. I told him I wanted to take out +screws, and the reason impressed him so that he handed it over without +a word. Peters," she added, "is a dear; only he's like every other +man--you have to use diplomacy." + +By ten o'clock that night the study carpet of 399 was neatly folded and +deposited at the end of the corridor above, whence its origin would be +difficult to trace. The entire region was steeped in an odor of +turpentine, and the study floor of 399 was a shining black, except for +four or five unpainted spots which Patty designated as "stepping-stones," +and which were to be treated later. Every caller that had dropped in +during the afternoon or evening had had a brush thrust into her hand and +had been made to go down upon her knees and paint. Besides the floor, +three bookcases and a chair had been transferred from mahogany to +Flemish oak, and there was still half a can of paint left which Patty +was anxiously trying to dispose of. + +The next morning, in spite of the difficulty of getting about, the +step-ladder had been reërected, and the business of tapestry-hanging +was going forward with enthusiasm, when a knock suddenly interrupted the +work. + +Patty, all unconscious of impending doom, cheerily called, "Come in!" + +The door opened, and the figure of Peters appeared on the threshold; and +Priscilla basely fled, leaving her room-mate stranded on the ladder. + +"Are you the young lady who borrowed my screw--" Peters stopped and +looked at the floor, and his jaw dropped in astonishment. "Where is that +there carpet?" he demanded, in a tone which seemed to imply that he +thought it was under the paint. + +"It's out in the hall," said Patty, pleasantly. "Please be careful and +don't step on the paint. It's a great improvement, don't you think?" + +"You oughter got permission--" he began, but his eye fell on the +tapestry and he stopped again. + +"Yes," said Patty; "but we knew you couldn't spare a man just now to +paint it for us, so we didn't like to trouble you." + +"It's against the rules to hang curtains on the walls." + +"I have heard that it was," said Patty, affably, "and I think ordinarily +it's a very good rule. But just look at the color of that wall-paper. +It's pea-green. You have had enough experience with wall-paper, Mr. +Peters, to know that _that_ is impossible, especially when our +window-curtains and portières are red." + +Peters's eyes had traveled to the closet, bereft of its door. "Are you +the young lady," he demanded gruffly, "who asked me to have that door +taken off its hinges?" + +"No," said Patty; "I think that must have been my room-mate. It was +_very_ heavy," she continued plaintively, "and we had a great deal of +trouble getting it down, but of course we realized that you were awfully +busy, and that it really wasn't your fault. That's what I wanted the +screw-driver for," she added. "I'm sorry that I didn't get it back last +night, but I was very tired, and I forgot." + +[Illustration: Men know such a lot about such things!] + +Peters merely grunted. He was examining a corner cabinet hanging on the +wall. "Didn't you know," he asked severely, "that it's against the rules +to put nails in the plaster?" + +"Those aren't nails," expostulated Patty. "They're hooks. I remembered +that you didn't like holes, so I only put in two, though I am really +afraid that three are necessary. What do you think, Mr. Peters? Does it +seem solid?" + +Peters shook it. "It's solid enough," he said sulkily. As he turned, his +eye fell on the table in Priscilla's bedroom. "Is that a gas-stove in +there?" he demanded. + +Patty shrugged her shoulders. "An apology for one--be _careful_, Mr. +Peters! _Don't_ get against that bookcase. It's just painted." + +Peters jumped aside, and stood like the Colossus of Rhodes, with one +foot on one stepping-stone, and the other on another three feet away. It +is hard for even a janitor to be dignified in such a position, and +while he was gathering his scattered impressions Patty looked longingly +around the room for some one to enjoy the spectacle with her. She felt +that the silence was becoming ominous, however, and she hastened to +interrupt it. + +"There's something wrong with that stove; it won't burn a bit. I am +afraid we didn't put it together just right. I shouldn't be surprised if +_you_ might be able to tell what's the matter with it, Mr. Peters." She +smiled sweetly. "Men know such a lot about such things! Would you mind +looking at it?" + +Peters grunted again; but he approached the stove. + +Five minutes later, when Priscilla stuck her head in to find out if, by +chance, anything remained of Patty, she saw Peters on his knees on the +floor of her bedroom, with the dismembered stove scattered about him, +and heard him saying, "I don't know as I have any call to report you, +for I s'pose, since they're up, they might as well stay"; and Patty's +voice returning: "You're _very_ kind, Mr. Peters. Of course if we'd +_known_--" Priscilla shut the door softly, and retired around the corner +to await Peters's departure. + +"How in the world did you manage him?" she asked, bursting in as soon as +the sound of his footsteps had died away down the corridor. "I expected +to sing a requiem over your remains, and I found Peters on his knees, +engaged in amicable conversation." + +Patty smiled inscrutably. "You must remember," she said, "that Peters is +not only a janitor: he is also a man." + + + + +II + +An Early Fright + + +"I'll make the tea to-day," said Patty, graciously. + +"As you please," said Priscilla, with a skeptical shrug. + +Patty bustled about amid a rattle of china. "The cups are rather dusty," +she observed dubiously. + +"You'd better wash them," Priscilla returned. + +"No," said Patty; "it's too much trouble. Just close the blinds, please, +and we'll light the candles, and that will do as well. Come in," she +called in answer to a knock. + +Georgie Merriles, Lucille Carter, and the Bartlet Twin appeared in the +doorway. + +"Did I hear the two P's were going to serve tea this afternoon?" +inquired the Twin. + +"Yes; come in. I'm going to make it myself," answered Patty, "and you'll +see how much more attentive a hostess I am than Priscilla. Here, Twin," +she added, "you take the kettle out and fill it with water; and, +Lucille, please go and borrow some alcohol from the freshmen at the end +of the corridor; our bottle's empty. I'd do it myself, only I've +borrowed such a lot lately, and they don't know you, you see. And--oh, +Georgie, you're an obliging dear; just run down-stairs to the store and +get some sugar. I think I saw some money in that silver inkstand on +Priscilla's desk." + +"We've got some sugar," objected Priscilla. "I bought a whole pound +yesterday." + +"No, my lamb; we haven't got it any more. I lent it to Bonnie Connaught +last night. Just hunt around for the spoons," she added. "I think I saw +them on the bottom shelf of the bookcase, behind Kipling." + +"And what, may I ask, are _you_ going to do?" inquired Priscilla. + +"I?" said Patty. "Oh, I am going to sit in the arm-chair and preside." + +Ten minutes later, the company being disposed about the room on +cushions, and the party well under way, it was discovered that there +were no lemons. + +"Are you sure?" asked Patty, anxiously. + +"Not one," said Priscilla, peering into the stein where the lemons were +kept. + +"I," said Georgie, "refuse to go to the store again." + +"No matter," said Patty, graciously; "we can do very well without them." +(She did not take lemon herself.) "The object of tea is not for the sake +of the tea, but for the conversation which accompanies it, and one must +not let accidents annoy him. You see, young ladies," she went on, in the +tone of an instructor giving a lecture, "though I have just spilled the +alcohol over the sugar, I appear not to notice it, but keep up an easy +flow of conversation to divert my guests. A repose of manner is above +all things to be cultivated." Patty leaned languidly back in her chair. +"To-morrow is Founder's Day," she resumed in a conversational tone. "I +wonder if many--" + +"That reminds me," interrupted the Twin. "You girls needn't save any +dances for my brother. I got a letter from him this morning saying he +couldn't come." + +"He hasn't broken anything, has he?" Patty asked sympathetically. + +"Broken anything?" + +"Ah--an arm, or a leg, or a neck. Accidents are so prevalent about +Founder's time." + +"No; he was called out of town on important business." + +"Important business!" Patty laughed. "Dear man! why couldn't he have +thought of something new?" + +"I think myself it was just an excuse," the Twin acknowledged. "He +seemed to have an idea that he would be the only man here, and that, +alone and unaided, he would have to dance with all six hundred girls." + +Patty shook her head sadly. "They're all alike. Founder's wouldn't be +Founder's if half the guests didn't develop serious illness or important +business or dead relations the last minute. The only safe way is to +invite three men and make out one program." + +"I simply can't realize that to-morrow is Founder's," said Priscilla. +"It doesn't seem a week since we unpacked our trunks after vacation, and +before we know it we shall be packing them again for Christmas." + +"Yes; and before we know it we'll be unpacking them again, with +examinations three weeks ahead," said Georgie the pessimist. + +"Oh, for the matter of that," returned Patty the optimist, "before we +know it we'll be walking up one side of the platform for our diplomas +and coming down the other side blooming alumnæ." + +"And then," sighed Georgie, "before we even have time to decide on a +career, we'll be old ladies, telling our grandchildren to stand up +straight and remember their rubbers." + +"And," said Priscilla, "before any of us get any tea we'll be in our +graves, if you don't stop talking and watch that kettle." + +"It's boiling," said Patty. + +"Yes," said Priscilla; "it's been boiling for ten minutes." + +"It's hot," said Patty. + +"I should think it might be," said Priscilla. + +"And now the problem is, how to get it off without burning one's self." + +"You're presiding to-day; you must solve your own problems." + +"'Tis an easy matter," and Patty hooked it off on the end of a +golf-club. "Young ladies," she said, with a wave of the kettle, "there +is nothing like a college education to teach you a way out of every +difficulty. If, when you are out in the wide, wide world--" + + "Where, oh, where are the grave old seniors?" + +chanted the Twin. + + "Where, oh, where are they?" + +The rest took it up, and Patty waited patiently. + + "They've gone out of Cairnsley's ethics, + They've gone out of Cairnsley's ethics, + They've gone out of Cairnsley's ethics, + Into the wide, wide w-o-r-l-d." + +"If you have finished your ovation, young ladies, I will proceed with my +lecture. When, as I say, you are out in the wide, wide world, making +five-o'clock tea some afternoon for one of the young men popularly +supposed to be there, who have dropped in to make an afternoon call--Do +you follow me, young ladies, or do I speak too fast? If, while you are +engaged in conversation, the kettle should become too hot, do not put +your finger in your mouth and shriek 'Ouch!' and coquettishly say to the +young man, '_You_ take it off,' as might a young woman who has not +enjoyed your advantages; but, rather, rise to the emergency; say to him +calmly, 'This kettle has become over-heated; may I trouble you to go +into the hall and bring an umbrella?' and when he returns you can hook +it off gracefully and expeditiously as you have seen me do, young +ladies, and the young--" + +"Patty, take care!" This from Priscilla. + +"O-u-c-h!" in a long-drawn wail. This from Georgie. + +Patty hastily set the kettle down on the floor. "I'm awfully sorry, +Georgie. Does it hurt?" + +"Not in the least. It's really a pleasant sensation to have boiling +water poured over you." + +The Bartlet Twin sniffed. "I smell burning rug." + +Patty groaned. "I resign, Pris; I resign. Here, you preside. I'll never +ask to make it again." + +"I should like," observed the Twin, "to see Patty entertaining a young +man." + +"It's not such an unprecedented event," said Patty, with some warmth. +"You can watch me to-morrow night if it will give you so much +pleasure." + +"To-morrow night? Are you going to have a man for the Prom?" + +"That," said Patty, "is my intention." + +"And you haven't asked me for a dance!" This in an aggrieved chorus from +the entire room. + +"I haven't asked any one," said Patty, with dignity. + +"Do you mean you're going to have all of the twenty dances with him +yourself?" + +"Oh, no; I don't expect to dance more than ten with him myself--I +haven't made out his card yet," she added. + +"Why not?" + +"I never do." + +"Has he been here before, then?" + +"No; that's the reason." + +"The reason for what?" + +"Well," Patty deigned to explain, "I've invited him for every party +since freshman year." + +"And did he decline?" + +"No; he accepted, but he never came." + +"Why not?" + +"He was scared." + +"Scared? Of the girls?" + +"Yes," said Patty, "partly--but mostly of the faculty." + +"The _faculty_ wouldn't hurt him." + +"Of course not; but he couldn't understand that. You see, he had a +fright when he was young." + +"A fright? What was it?" + +"Well," said Patty, "it happened this way: It was while I was at +boarding-school. He was at Andover then, and his home was in the South; +and one time when he went through Washington he stopped off to call on +me. As it happened, the butler had left two days before, and had taken +with him all the knives and forks, and all the money he could find, and +Nancy Lee's gold watch and two hat-pins, and my silver hair-brush, and a +bottle of brandy, and a pie," she enumerated with a conscientious regard +for details; "and Mrs. Trent--that's the principal--had advertised for a +new butler." + +"I should have thought the old one would have discouraged her from +keeping butlers," said Georgie. + +"You _would_ think so," said Patty; "but she was a very persevering +woman. On the day that Raoul--that's his name--came to call, nineteen +people had applied for the place, and Mrs. Trent was worn out from +interviewing them. So she told Miss Sarah--that's her daughter--to +attend to those who came in the evening. Miss Sarah was tall and wore +spectacles, and was--was--" + +"A good disciplinarian," suggested the Twin. + +"Yes," said Patty, feelingly, "an _awfully_ good disciplinarian. Well, +when Raoul got there he gave his card to Ellen and asked for me; but +Ellen didn't understand, and she called Miss Sarah, and when Miss Sarah +saw him in his evening clothes she--" + +"Took him for a butler," put in Georgie. + +"Yes, she took him for a butler; and she looked at the card he'd given +Ellen, and said icily, 'What does this mean?' + +"'It's--it's my name,' he stammered. + +"'I see,' said Miss Sarah; 'but where is your recommendation?' + +"'I didn't know it was necessary,' he said, terribly scared. + +"'Of course it's necessary,' Miss Sarah returned. 'I can't allow you to +come into the house unless I have letters from the places where you've +been before.' + +"'I didn't suppose you were so strict,' he said. + +"'We have to be strict,' Miss Sarah answered firmly. 'Have you had much +experience?' + +"He didn't know what she meant, but he thought it would be safest to say +he hadn't. + +"'Then of course you won't do,' she replied. 'How old are you?' + +"He was so frightened by this time that he couldn't remember. +'Nineteen,' he gasped--'I mean twenty.' + +"Miss Sarah saw his confusion, and thought he had designs on some of +the heiresses intrusted to her care. 'I don't see how you _dared_ to +come here,' she said severely. 'I should not think of having you in the +house for a moment. You're altogether too young and too good-looking.' +And with that Raoul got up and bolted. + +"When Ellen told Miss Sarah the next day that he'd asked for me, she was +terribly mortified, and she made me write and explain, and invite him to +dinner; but wild horses couldn't have dragged him into the house again. +He's been afraid to stop off in Washington ever since. He always goes +straight through on a sleeper, and says he has nightmares even then." + +"And is that why he won't come to the college?" + +"Yes," said Patty; "that's the reason. I told him we didn't have any +butlers here; but he said we had lady faculty, and that's as bad." + +"But I thought you said he _was_ coming to the Prom." + +"He is this time." + +"Are you sure?" + +"Yes," said Patty, with ominous emphasis, "I'm sure. He knows," she +added, "what will happen if he doesn't." + +"What will happen?" asked the Twin. + +"Nothing." + +The Twin shook her head, and Georgie inquired, "Then why don't you make +out his program?" + +"I suppose I might as well. I didn't do it before because it sort of +seemed like tempting Providence. I didn't want to be the cause of any +really _serious_ accident happening to him," she explained a trifle +ambiguously as she got out pencil and paper. "What dances can you give +me, Lucille? And you, Georgie, have you got the third taken?" + +While this business was being settled, a knock unheeded had sounded on +the door. It came again. + +"What's that?" asked Priscilla. "Did some one knock? Come in." + +The door opened, and a maid stood upon the threshold with a yellow +envelop in her hand. She peered uncertainly around the darkened room +from one face to another. "Miss Patty Wyatt?" she asked. + +Patty stretched out her hand in silence for the envelop, and, propping +it up on her desk, looked at it with a grim smile. + +"What is it, Patty? Aren't you going to read it?" + +"There's no need. I know what it says." + +"Then I'll read it," said Priscilla, ripping it open. + +"Is it a leg or an arm?" Patty inquired with mild curiosity. + +"Neither," said Priscilla; "it's a collar-bone." + +"Oh," murmured Patty. + +"What is it?" demanded Georgie the curious. "Read it out loud." + + "NEW HAVEN, November 29. + + "Broke collar-bone playing foot-ball. Honest + Injun. Terribly sorry. Better luck next time." + + "RAOUL." + +"There will not," observed Patty, "_be_ a next time." + + + + +III + +The Impressionable Mr. Todhunter + + +"Has the mail been around yet?" called Priscilla to a girl at the other +end of the corridor. + +"Don't believe so. It hasn't been in our room." + +"There she comes now!" and Priscilla swooped down upon the mail-girl. +"Got anything for 399?" + +"Do you want Miss Wyatt's mail too?" + +"Yes; I'll take everything. What a lot! Is that all for us?" And +Priscilla walked down the corridor swinging her note-book by its +shoe-string, and opening envelops as she went. She was presently joined +by Georgie Merriles, likewise swinging a note-book by a shoe-string. + +"Hello, Pris; going to English? Want me to help carry your mail?" + +"Thank you," said Priscilla; "you may keep the most of it. Now, that," +she added, holding out a blue envelop, "is an advertisement for cold +cream which no lady should be without; and that"--holding out a yellow +envelop--"is an advertisement for beef extract which no brain-worker +should be without; and that"--holding out a white envelop--"is the worst +of all, because it looks like a legitimate letter, and it's nothing but +a 'Dear Madam' thing, telling me my tailor has moved from Twenty-second +to Forty-third Street, and hopes I'll continue to favor him with my +patronage. + +"And here," she went on, turning to her room-mate's correspondence, "is +a cold-cream and a beef-extract letter for Patty, and one from Yale; +that's probably Raoul explaining why he couldn't come to the Prom. It +won't do any good, though. No mortal man can ever make her believe he +didn't have his collar-bone broken on purpose. And I don't know whom +that's from," Priscilla continued, examining the last letter. "It's +marked 'Hotel A----, New York.' Never heard of it, did you? Never saw +the writing before, either." + +Georgie laughed. "Do you keep tab on all of Patty's correspondents?" + +"Oh, I know the most of them by this time. She usually reads the +interesting ones out loud, and the ones that aren't interesting she +never answers, so they stop writing. Hurry up; the bell's going to +ring"; and they pushed in among the crowd of girls on the steps of the +recitation-hall. + +The bell did ring just as they reached the class-room, and Priscilla +dropped the letters, without comment, into Patty's lap as she went past. +Patty was reading poetry and did not look up. She had assimilated some +ten pages of Shelley since the first bell rang, and as she was not sure +which would be taken up in class, she was now swallowing Wordsworth in +the same voracious manner. Patty's method in Romantic Poetry was to be +very fresh on the first part of the lesson, catch the instructor's eye +early in the hour, make a brilliant recitation, and pass the remainder +of the time in gentle meditation. + +To-day, however, the unwonted bulk of her correspondence diverted her +mind from its immediate duty. She failed to catch the instructor's eye, +and the recitation proceeded without her assistance. Priscilla watched +her from the back seat as she read the Yale letter with a skeptical +frown, and made a grimace over the blue and the yellow; but before she +had reached the Hotel A----, Priscilla was paying attention to the +recitation again. It was coming her way, and she was anxiously forming +an opinion on the essential characteristics of Wordsworth's view of +immortality. + +Suddenly the room was startled by an audible titter from Patty, who +hastily composed her face and assumed a look of vacuous innocence--but +too late. She had caught the instructor's eye at last. + +"Miss Wyatt, what do you consider the most serious limitations of our +author?" + +Miss Wyatt blinked once or twice. This question out of its context was +not illuminating. It was a part of her philosophy, however, never to +flunk flat; she always crawled. + +"Well," she began with an air of profound deliberation, "that question +might be considered in two ways, either from an artistic or a +philosophic standpoint." + +This sounded promising, and the instructor smiled encouragingly. "Yes?" +she said. + +"And yet," continued Patty, after still profounder deliberation, "I +think the same reason will be found to be the ultimate explanation of +both." + +The instructor might have inquired, "Both what?" but she refrained and +merely waited. + +Patty thought she had done enough, but she plunged on desperately: "In +spite of his really deep philosophy we notice a certain--one might +almost say _dash_ about his poetry, and a lack of--er--meditation which +I should attribute to his immaturity and his a--rather wild life. If he +had lived longer I think he might have overcome it in time." + +The class looked dazed, and the corners of the instructor's mouth +twitched. "It is certainly an interesting point of view, Miss Wyatt, +and, as far as I know, entirely original." + +As they were crowding out at the end of the recitation Priscilla pounced +upon Patty. "What on earth were you saying about Wordsworth's youth and +immaturity?" she demanded. "The man lived to be over eighty, and +composed a poem with his last gasp." + +"Wordsworth? I was talking about Shelley." + +"Well, the class wasn't." + +"How should I know?" Patty demanded indignantly. "She said 'our author,' +and I avoided specific details as long as I could." + +"Oh, Patty, Patty! and you said he was wild--the lamblike Wordsworth!" + +"What were you laughing at, anyway?" demanded Georgie. + +Patty smiled again. "Why, _this_" she said, unfolding the Hotel A---- +letter. "It's from an Englishman, Mr. Todhunter, some one my father +discovered last summer and invited out to stay with us for a few days. +I'd forgotten all about him, and here he writes to know whether and when +he may call, and, if so, will it be convenient for him to come to-night. +That's a comprehensive sentence, isn't it? His train gets in at +half-past five and he'll be out about six." + +"He isn't going to take any chances," said Priscilla. + +"No," said Patty; "but I don't mind. I invited him to come out to dinner +some night, though I'd forgotten it. He's really very nice, and, in +spite of what the funny papers say about Englishmen, quite +entertaining." + +"Intentionally or unintentionally?" inquired Georgie. + +"Both," said Patty. + +"What's he doing in America?" asked Priscilla. "Not writing a book on +the American Girl, I hope." + +"Not quite as bad as that," said Patty. "He's corresponding for a +newspaper, though." She smiled dreamily. "He's very curious about +college." + +"Patty, I _hope_ you were not guilty of trying to make an Englishman, a +guest in your father's house, believe any of your absurd fabrications!" + +"Of course not," said Patty; "I was most careful in everything I told +him. But," she acknowledged, "he--he gets impressions easily." + +"It is easy to get impressions when one is talking with you," observed +Georgie. + +"He asked me," Patty continued, ignoring this remark, "what we studied +in college! But I remembered that he was an alien in a foreign land, and +I curbed my natural instincts, and outlined the courses in the catalogue +verbatim, and I explained the different methods of instruction, and +described the library and laboratories and lecture-rooms." + +"Was he impressed?" asked Priscilla. + +"Yes," said Patty; "I think you might almost say dazed. He asked me +apologetically if we ever did anything to relieve the strain,--had any +amusements, you know,--and I said, oh, yes; we had a Browning and an +Ibsen club, and we sometimes gave Greek tragedies in the original. He +was positively afraid to come near me again, for fear I'd forget and +talk to him in Greek instead of English." + +In view of the facts, Patty's friends considered this last remark +distinctly humorous, for she had flunked her freshman Greek three times, +and had been advised by the faculty to take it over sophomore year. + +"I hope, since he's a newspaper writer," said Priscilla, "that you'll do +something to lighten his impression, or he'll never favor women's +colleges in England." + +"I hadn't thought of that," said Patty; "perhaps I ought." + +They had reached the steps of the dormitory. "Let's not go in," said +Georgie; "let's go down to Mrs. Muldoon's and get some chocolate cake." + +"Thank you," said Priscilla; "I'm in training." + +"Soup, then." + +"Can't eat between meals." + +"You come, then, Patty." + +"Sorry, but I've got to take my white dress down to the laundry and have +it pressed." + +"Are you going to dress up for him to the extent of evening clothes?" + +"Yes," said Patty; "I think I owe it to the American Girl." + +"Well," sighed Georgie, "I'm hungry, but I suppose I might as well go in +and dress that doll for the College Settlement Association. The show's +to-night." + +"Mine's done," said Priscilla; "and Patty wouldn't take one. Did you see +Bonnie Connaught sitting on the back seat in biology this morning, +hemming her doll's petticoat straight through the lecture?" + +"Really?" laughed Patty. "It's a good thing Professor Hitchcock's +near-sighted." + +The College Settlement Association, by way of parenthesis, was in the +habit of distributing three hundred dolls among the students every year +before Christmas, to be dressed and sent to the settlement in New York. +The dolls were supposed to be so well dressed that the East Side mothers +could use them as models for the clothing of their own children, though +it must be confessed that the tendency among the girls was to strive for +effect and not for detail. On the evening before the dolls were to be +shipped a doll show was regularly held, at which two cents admittance +was charged (stamps accepted) to pay the expressage. + + * * * * * + +IT was ten minutes past six, and Phillips Hall (such of it as was not +late) was dining, when the maid arrived with Mr. Algernon Vivian +Todhunter's card. Patty, radiant in a white evening gown, was trying, +with much squirming, to fasten it in the middle of the back. + +"Oh, Sadie," she called to the maid, "would you mind coming in here and +buttoning my dress? I can't reach it from above or below." + +"You look just beautiful, Miss Wyatt," said Sadie, admiringly. + +Patty laughed. "Do you think I can uphold the honor of the nation?" + +"To be sure, miss," said Sadie, politely. + +Patty ran down the corridor to the door of the reception-room, and then +swept slowly in with what she called an air of continental repose. The +room was empty. She glanced about in some surprise, for she knew that +the two reception-rooms on the other side of the hall were being used +for the doll show. She tiptoed over and peered in through the half-open +door. The room was filled with dolls in rows and tiers; every piece of +furniture was covered with them; and in a far corner, at the end of a +long vista of dolls, appeared Mr. Algernon Vivian Todhunter, gingerly +sitting on the edge of a sofa, surrounded by flaxen-haired baby dolls, +and awkwardly holding in his lap the three he had displaced. + +Patty drew back behind the door, and spent fully three minutes in +regaining her continental repose; then she entered the room and greeted +Mr. Todhunter effusively. He carefully transferred the dolls to his left +arm and stood up and shook hands. + +"Let me take the little dears," said Patty, kindly; "I'm afraid they're +in your way." + +Mr. Todhunter murmured something about its being a pleasure and a +privilege to hold them. + +Patty plumped up their clothes and rearranged them on the sofa with +motherly solicitude, while Mr. Todhunter watched her gravely, his +national politeness and his reportorial instinct each struggling for the +mastery. Finally he began tentatively: "I say, Miss Wyatt, do--er--the +young ladies spend much time playing with dolls?" + +"No," said Patty, candidly; "I don't think you could say they spend +_too_ much. I have never heard of but one girl actually neglecting her +work for it. You mustn't think that we have as many dolls as this here +_every_ night," she went on. "It is rather an unusual occurrence. Once a +year the girls hold what they call a doll show to see who has dressed +her doll the best." + +"Ah, I see," said Mr. Todhunter; "a little friendly rivalry." + +"Purely friendly," said Patty. + +As they started for the dining-room Mr. Todhunter adjusted his monocle +and took a parting look at the doll show. + +"I'm afraid you think us childish, Mr. Todhunter," said Patty. + +"Not at all, Miss Wyatt," he assured her hastily. "I think it quite +charming, you know, and so--er--unexpected. I had always been told that +they played somewhat peculiar games at these women's colleges, but I +never supposed they did anything so feminine as to play with dolls." + +[Illustration: Mr. Algernon Vivian Todhunter, gingerly sitting on the +edge of a chair] + + * * * * * + +WHEN Patty returned to her room that night, she found Georgie and +Priscilla surrounded by grammars and dictionaries, doing German prose. +Her appearance was hailed with a cry of indignant protest. + +"When _I_ have a man," said Priscilla, "I divide him up among my +friends." + +"_Especially_ when he's a curiosity," added Georgie. + +"And we dressed up in grand clothes, and stood in your way coming out of +chapel," went on Priscilla, "and you never even looked at us." + +"Englishmen are so bashful," apologized Patty; "I didn't want to +frighten him." + +Priscilla looked at her suspiciously. "Patty, I hope you didn't impose +on the poor man's credulity." + +"Certainly not!" said Patty, with dignity. "I explained everything he +asked me, and was most careful not to exaggerate. But," she added with +engaging frankness, "I cannot be responsible for any _impressions_ he +may have obtained. When an Englishman once gets an idea, you know, it's +almost impossible to change it." + + + + +IV + +A Question of Ethics + + +Patty's class-room methods were the result of a wide experience in the +professorial type of mind. By her senior year she had reduced the matter +of recitation to a system, and could foretell with unvarying precision +the day she would be called on and the question she would be asked. Her +tactics varied with the subject and the instructor, and were the result +of a penetration and knowledge of human nature that might have +accomplished something in a worthier cause. + +In chemistry, for example, her instructor was a man who had outlived any +early illusions in regard to the superior conscientiousness of girls +over boys. He was not by nature a suspicious person, but a long +experience in teaching had inculcated an inordinate wariness which was +sometimes out of season. He allowed no napping in his classes, and those +who did not pay attention suffered. Patty discovered his weakness early +in the year, and planned her campaign accordingly. As long as she did +not understand the experiment in hand, she would watch him with a face +beaming with intelligence; but when she did understand, and wished to +recite, she would let her eyes wander to the window with a dreamy, +far-away smile, and, being asked a question, would come back to the +realities of chemistry with a start, and, after a moment of ostentatious +pondering, make a brilliant recitation. It must be confessed that her +moments of abstraction were rare; she was far too often radiantly +interested. + +In French her tactics were exactly opposite. The instructor, with all +the native politeness of his race, called on those only who caught his +eye and appeared willing and anxious to recite. This made the matter +comparatively simple, but still required considerable finesse. Patty +dropped her pen, spilled the pages from her note-book, tied her +shoe-string, and even sneezed opportunely in order not to catch his eye +at inconvenient moments. The rest of the class, who were not artists, +contented themselves with merely lowering their eyes as he looked along +the line--a method which in Patty's scornful estimation said as plainly +as words, "Please don't call on me; I don't know." + +But with Professor Cairnsley, who taught philosophy, it was more +difficult to form a working hypothesis. He had grown old in the service +of the college, and after thirty years' experience of girl-nature he was +still as unsuspiciously trustful as he had been in the beginning. Taking +it for granted that his pupils were as interested in the contemplation +of philosophic truths as he himself, the professor conducted his +recitations without a suspicion of guile, and based his procedure +entirely upon the inspiration of the moment. The key to his method had +always remained a mystery, and several generations of classes had +searched for it in vain. Some averred that he called on every seventh +girl; others, that he drew lots. Patty triumphantly announced early in +the course that she had discovered the secret at last--that on Monday he +called on the red-haired girls; on Tuesday, those with yellow hair; on +Wednesday and Thursday, those with brown; and on Friday, those with +black. But this solution, like the others, was found to break down in +actual practice; and Patty, for one, discovered that it required all her +ingenuity, and even a good deal of studying, to maintain her reputation +for brilliancy in Professor Cairnsley's classes. And she cared about +maintaining it, for she liked the professor and was one of his favorite +pupils. She had known his wife before she entered college, and she often +called upon them in their home, and, in short, exemplified the ideal +relations between faculty and students. + +Owing to the pressure of many interests, Patty's researches into +philosophy were not as deep as the intentions of the course, but she had +a very good working knowledge, which, in its details, would have +astonished Professor Cairnsley could he have got behind the scenes. +Though her knowledge was not based strictly on the text-book, her +reputation in the class was good, and, as Patty admitted with a sigh, +"It's a great strain on the imagination to keep up a reputation in +philosophy." + +It had been established, indeed, as far back as her sophomore year, when +the psychology class was awed into silence by its first introduction to +the abstractions of science, and Patty alone had dared to lift her +voice. The professor, one morning, had been placidly lecturing along on +the subject of sensation, and in the course of the lecture had remarked: +"It is probable that the individual experiences all the primary +sensations during the first few months of infancy, and that in after +life there is no such thing as a new sensation." + +"Professor Cairnsley," Patty piped up, "did you ever shoot the chutes?" + +The ice was broken at last, and the class felt at home, even in the +somewhat deep waters of philosophy; and Patty, however undeservedly, had +gained the credit of having a deeper insight than most into matters +psychical. + +And so into her senior year, when she entered upon the study of ethics, +she carried along an unearned and fragile reputation, built upon +subterfuges and likely to crumble at the slightest touch. She had +maintained it very creditably up to the Christmas vacation, and had +argued upon the ultimate ground of moral obligation and the origin of +conscience quite as intelligently as though she had previously read what +the text-book had to say on the subject. But when they had commenced the +study of specific theologies, based upon definite historical facts, +Patty found her imagination of little use, and on several occasions it +had been purely good luck that had saved her from exposure. Once the +bell had rung at an opportune moment, and twice she had been able to +avert a direct answer by leading the discussion into side issues. She +realized, however, that fortune would not always favor her, and as the +professor usually forgot to call the roll, she formed the nefarious +practice of cutting class when she did not have her lesson. + +For a week or so in particular, her pressure of work in other directions +(not all of them scholastic) had prevented her from devoting her usual +amount of energy to the task of maintaining her philosophy reputation, +and she had, without conscience, cut ethics several days in succession, +and had failed to comment upon the fact to the professor. + +"What did he lecture about in ethics--those recitations I missed?" she +inquired of Priscilla, one afternoon. + +"Swedenborg." + +"Swedenborg," repeated Patty, dreamily. "He got up a new religion, +didn't he? Or was it a new system of gymnastics? I've heard about him, +but I don't seem to remember any details." + +"You'd better make him up; he's important." + +"I dare say; but I've lived twenty-one years without knowing about him, +and I can wait a month longer. I'm saving up Confucius and the Jesuits +for examination-time, and I'll add Swedenborg to the list." + +"You'd better not. Professor Cairnsley's fond of him, and is likely to +pop a special examination at any moment." + +"Not Professor Cairnsley," laughed Patty. "He doesn't want to waste the +time. He's going to lecture straight on for two weeks--nice man; I see +it in his eye. What I admire in a professor is a good, steady, plodding +disposition that doesn't go in for sensational surprises." + +"You'll find yourself mistaken some day," warned Priscilla. + +"No danger, my dear Cassandra. I know Professor Cairnsley, and Professor +Cairnsley thinks he knows me; and we just get along together +beautifully. I wish there were more like him," Patty added with a sigh. + +Professor Cairnsley began a lecture the next morning which was evidently +calculated to extend through the hour, and Patty cast a triumphant +glance at Priscilla as she unscrewed the top of her fountain-pen and +settled down to work. In the course of the lecture, however, he had +occasion to refer to Swedenborg, and, pausing a moment, he casually +asked a girl on the front seat for a résumé of Swedenborg's philosophy. +She, unfortunately confusing him with Schopenhauer, glibly attributed to +him doctrines which would have outraged his soul could he have heard +them. It is written that the worm will turn, and the professor's bland +smile deserted him as he passed the question to a second girl without +much better result. The class in general had evidently been laboring +under Patty's delusion that the time had not come in which to learn back +notes. Amazed and indignant, he pursued the matter with a persistency +and a rancor he seldom showed. He began going straight through the +class, growing more and more sarcastic with each recitation. + +As she saw him finish with the row in front and begin on her row, Patty +knew that she was doomed. She racked her brain for some memory of +Swedenborg. He was a name to her and nothing more. He might have been an +ancient Greek or a modern American, for all she knew. As Professor +Cairnsley came along the line he was gradually eliciting from the +terrified class the superficial points which were more or less common to +all philosophers. Patty perceived that her imagination could not help +her out, that for once the placid professor was on the war-path, and +that Swedenborg, and nothing but Swedenborg, would serve. She cast an +agonized glance up at Priscilla, and Priscilla grinned back with "I told +you so" written on every feature. + +Patty looked about desperately. The lecture-room was shaped like an +amphitheater, with part of the seats on a level with the main floor, +and the rest rising in tiers. Patty sat on the main floor, well toward +the rear. She could barely see the professor's head, but he was coming +irrevocably. She did not have to see very clearly to know that. The girl +before her answered wildly; the professor frowned, and, looking down at +his roll-book, slowly and deliberately made a zero. + +When he raised his eyes again Patty's seat was empty. She was kneeling +on the floor, with her head bowed behind the girl in front. The +unconscious professor passed over her bent head and called on the girl +on the other side, who coughed hysterically once or twice, and flunked +flat; and while he was crediting the fact in his roll-book Patty resumed +her seat. A ripple of laughter ran around the room; the professor +frowned, and remarked that he saw no occasion for amusement. The bell +rang, and the class somewhat sheepishly filed out. + +That afternoon Patty burst into the study where Priscilla and Georgie +Merriles were making tea. "Did you ever think I had much of a +conscience?" she demanded. + +"Never thought it was your strong point," said Georgie. + +"Well, I've got a perfectly tremendous one! What do you think I've been +doing?" + +"Making up your ethics lectures," suggested Priscilla. + +"Worse than that." + +"You _haven't_ been to gym, Patty!" said Georgie. + +"Goodness, no! I'm not so far gone as that. Well, I'll tell you. I met +Professor Cairnsley by the gate and walked in with him, and, if you +please, he complimented me on my work in ethics!" + +"That ought to have been embarrassing," said Georgie. + +"It was," acknowledged Patty. "I told him I didn't really know as much +as he thought I did." + +"What did he say?" + +"He said I was too modest. He's such a trustful old man, you know, that +you sort of hate to deceive him. And what do you think? I told him about +the seat!" + +Priscilla smiled approvingly upon her usually recreant room-mate. "Well, +Patty, you certainly are better than I gave you credit for!" + +"Thank you," murmured Patty. + +"I begin to believe you _have_ got a conscience," said Georgie. + +"An excellent one," said Patty, complacently. + +"It pays in the end," said Priscilla. + +"It does," agreed Patty. "Professor Cairnsley said he would explain +Swedenborg to me himself, and he invited me over to dinner to-night!" + + + + +V + +The Elusive Kate Ferris + + +The mysterious Kate Ferris, who kept Priscilla on the verge of nervous +prostration for a whole semester, entered upon her college career in an +entirely unpremeditated and impromptu manner. It began one day away back +in November. Georgie Merriles and Patty had just strolled home from the +athletic field, where they had been witnessing the start of a +paper-chase cross country, in which Priscilla was impersonating a fox. +As they entered the study, Georgie stopped to examine some loose sheets +of paper which were impaled upon the door. + +"What's this, Patty?" + +"Oh, that's the registration-list for the German Club. Priscilla's +secretary, you know, and every one who wants to join comes here. The +study has been so full of freshmen all the time that I told her to hang +it on the door and let them join outside; it works beautifully." Patty +turned the leaves and ran her eyes down the list of sprawling +signatures. "It's a popular organization, isn't it? The freshmen are +simply scrambling to get in." + +"They're trying to show Fräulein Scherin how much interest they take in +the subject," Georgie laughed. + +Patty picked up the pencil. "Would you like to join? I know Priscilla +would be gratified." + +"No, thank you; I pay club dues enough already." + +"I'm afraid I'm not exactly eligible myself, as I don't know any German. +It's such a beautifully sharp pencil, though, that I hate not to write +with it." Patty poised the pencil a moment, and abstractedly traced the +name "Kate Ferris." + +Georgie laughed. "If there should happen to be a Kate Ferris in college, +she would be surprised to find herself a member of the German Club," +and the incident was forgotten. + +A few days later the two came in from class, to find Priscilla and the +president of the German Club sitting on the divan with their heads +together, frantically turning the leaves of the catalogue. + +"She isn't a sophomore," the president announced. "She _must_ be a +freshman, Priscilla. Look again." + +"I've gone over this list three times, and there isn't a single Ferris +down." + +Georgie and Patty exchanged glances and inquired the trouble. + +"A girl named Kate Ferris has registered for the German Club, and we've +gone through all the classes, and there simply isn't any such girl in +college." + +"Possibly a special," Patty suggested. + +"Of course! Why didn't we think of that?" And Priscilla turned to the +list of special students. "No; she isn't here." + +"Let me look"; and Patty ran her eyes down the column. "You've mistaken +the name," she remarked, handing the book back with a shrug. + +Priscilla produced the registration-list, and triumphantly exhibited an +unmistakable Kate Ferris. + +"They forgot to put her in the catalogue." + +"I never knew them to make such a mistake before," said the president, +dubiously. "I don't believe we'd better put her in the roll-book till we +find out who she is." + +"Then you'll hurt her feelings," said Georgie. "Freshmen are terribly +sensitive about being slighted." + +"Oh, very well; it doesn't matter." And Kate Ferris was accordingly +enrolled in the club records. + +Several weeks later Priscilla was engaged in laboriously turning the +minutes of the last meeting into grammatical German, and as she closed +the dictionary and grammar with a sigh of relief, she remarked to Patty: +"Do you know, it's very queer about that Kate Ferris. She hasn't paid +her dues, and, as far as I can make out, she hasn't attended a single +meeting. Wouldn't you take her name off the roll? I don't believe she's +in college any more." + +"You might as well," said Patty, and she listlessly watched Priscilla as +she scratched out the name with a penknife. Patty never made the mistake +of over-acting. + +The next morning, as Priscilla came in from a class, she found a note on +her door-block, written in the perpendicular characters of Kate Ferris. +It ran: + + DEAR MISS POND: I came to pay my German Club dues, + and as you are not in, I have left the money on + the bookcase. Am sorry to have missed so many + meetings, but have not been able to attend classes + lately. KATE FERRIS. + +Priscilla exhibited the note to the president as a tangible proof that +Kate Ferris still existed, and reinscribed the name in the roll-book. + +A few weeks later she found a second note on her door-block: + + DEAR MISS POND: As I am very busy with my class + work, I find that I have not time to attend the + German Club meetings, and so have decided to + resign. I left my letter of resignation on the + bookcase. + + KATE FERRIS. + +As Priscilla scratched the name out of the roll-book again she remarked +to Patty: "I am glad this Kate Ferris has left the club at last. She has +caused me more trouble than all the rest of the members put together." + +The next morning a third note appeared on the block: + + DEAR MISS POND: I happened to mention the fact of + my having resigned from the German Club to + Fräulein Scherin last night, and she said that the + club would help me in my work, and advised me to + stay in it. So I shall be much obliged if you will + not present my letter at the meeting after all, as + I have decided to follow her advice. + + KATE FERRIS. + +Priscilla tossed the note to Patty with a groan, and getting out the +roll-book, she turned to the F's and reënrolled Kate Ferris. + +Patty sympathetically watched the process over her shoulder. "The book +is getting so thin in that spot," she laughed, "that Kate Ferris is +actually coming through on the other side. If she changes her mind many +more times there won't be anything left." + +"I'm going to ask Fräulein Scherin about her," Priscilla declared. +"She's made me so much trouble that I'm curious to see what she looks +like." + +She did ask Fräulein Scherin, but Fräulein denied all knowledge of the +girl. "I have so many freshmen," she apologized, "I cannot all of them +with their queer names remember." + +Priscilla inquired about Kate Ferris from the freshmen she knew, but +though all of them thought that the name sounded familiar, none of them +could exactly place her. She was variously described as tall and dark +and small and light, but further inquiry always proved that the girl +they had in mind was some one else. + +Priscilla kept hearing about the girl on all sides, but could never +catch a glimpse of her. Miss Ferris called several times on business, +but Priscilla always happened to be out. Her name was posted on the +bulletin-board for having library books that were overdue. She even +wrote a paper for one of the German Club meetings (Georgie was not a +facile German scholar, and it had required a whole Saturday); but owing +to the fact that she was suddenly called out of town, she did not read +it in person. + +A month or two after Kate Ferris's advent, Priscilla had friends +visiting her from New York, for whom she gave a tea in the study. + +"I am going to invite Kate Ferris," she announced. "I _insist_ upon +finding out what she looks like." + +"Do," said Patty. "I should like to find out myself." + +The invitation was despatched, and on the next day Priscilla received a +formal acceptance. + +"It's strange that she should send an acceptance for a tea," she +remarked as she read it, "but I'm glad to get it, anyway. I like to +feel sure that I'm to see her at last." + +On the evening of the tea, after the guests had gone and the furniture +had been moved back, the weary hostesses, in somewhat rumpled evening +dresses (a considerable crush results when fifty are entertained in a +room whose utmost capacity is fifteen), were reëntertaining one or two +friends on the lettuce sandwiches and cakes the obliging guests had +failed to consume. The company and the clothes having passed in review, +the conversation flagged a little, and Georgie suddenly asked: "Was Kate +Ferris here? I was so busy passing cakes that I didn't look, and I +wanted to see her especially!" + +"That's so!" Patty exclaimed. "I didn't see her, either. She's the most +abnormally inconspicuous person I ever heard of. What did she look like, +Pris?" + +Priscilla knit her brows. "She couldn't have come. I kept watching for +her all the evening. It's strange, isn't it?--when she was so careful +to send an acceptance. I'm growing positively morbid over the girl; I +begin to think she's invisible." + +"I begin to think so myself," said Patty. + +The next morning's mail brought a bunch of violets and an apology from +Kate Ferris. "She had been unavoidably detained." + +"It's positively uncanny!" Priscilla declared. "I shall go to the +registrar and tell her that this Kate Ferris is neither down in the +catalogue nor the college directory, and find out where she lives." + +"Don't do anything reckless," Georgie pleaded. "Take what the gods send +and be grateful." + +But Priscilla was as good as her word, and she returned from the +registrar's office flushed and defiant. "She insists that there isn't +any such person in college, and that I must have made a mistake in the +name! Did you ever hear anything so absurd?" + +"That seems to me the only reasonable explanation," Patty agreed +amicably. "Perhaps it is Harris instead of Ferris." + +Priscilla faced her ominously. "You read the name yourself. It was as +plain as printing." + +"We're all liable to make mistakes," Patty murmured soothingly. + +"Do you know," said Georgie, "I begin to think it's all a hallucination, +and that there really isn't any Kate Ferris. It's strange, of course, +but not any stranger than some of those cases you read about in +psychology." + +"Hallucinations don't send flowers," said Priscilla, hotly; and she +stalked out of the room, leaving Patty and Georgie to review the +campaign. + +"I'm afraid it's gone far enough," said Georgie. "If she bothers the +office very much there'll be an official investigation." + +"I'm afraid so," sighed Patty. "It's been very entertaining, but she is +really getting sensitive on the subject, and I don't dare mention Kate +Ferris's name when we're alone." + +"Shall we tell her?" + +Patty shook her head. "Not just now--I shouldn't dare. She believes in +corporal punishment." + +A few days later Priscilla received another note directed in the hand +she had come to dread. She threw it into the waste-basket unopened; but, +curiosity prevailing, she drew it out again and read it: + + DEAR MISS POND: As I have been obliged to leave + college on account of my health, I inclose my + resignation to the German Club. I thank you very + sincerely for your kindness to me this year, and + shall always look back upon our friendship as one + of the happiest memories of my college life. + + Yours sincerely, + KATE FERRIS. + +When Patty came in she found Priscilla silently and grimly scratching a +hole into the roll-book where Kate Ferris's name had been. + +"Changed her mind again?" Patty asked pleasantly. + +"She's left college," Priscilla snapped, "and don't you ever mention her +name to me again." + +Patty sighed sympathetically and remarked to the room in general: "It's +sort of pathetic to have your whole college life summed up in a hole in +the German Club archives. I can't help feeling sorry for her!" + + + + +VI + +A Story with Four Sequels + + +It was Saturday, and Patty had been working ever since breakfast, with a +brief pause for luncheon, on a paper entitled "Shakspere, the Man." At +four o'clock she laid down her pen, pushed her manuscript into the +waste-basket, and faced her room-mate defiantly. + +"What do I care about Shakspere, the man? He's been dead three hundred +years." + +Priscilla laughed unfeelingly. "What do I care about a frog's nervous +system, for the matter of that? But I am writing an interesting +monograph on it, just the same." + +"Ah, I dare say you are making a valuable addition to the subject." + +"It's quite as valuable as your addition to Shaksperiana." + +Patty dropped a voluble sigh and turned to the window to note that it +was raining dismally. + +"Oh, hand it in," said Priscilla, comfortingly. "You've worked on it all +day, and it's probably no worse than the most of your things." + +"No sense to it," said Patty. + +"They're used to that," laughed Priscilla. + +"What are you laughing at, anyway?" Patty asked crossly. "I don't see +anything to laugh at in this beastly place. Always having to do what you +don't want to do when you most don't want to do it. Just the same, day +after day: get up by bells, eat by bells, sleep by bells. I feel like +some sort of a delinquent living in an asylum." + +Priscilla treated this outburst with the silence it deserved, and Patty +turned back to her perusal of the rain-soaked campus. + +"I wish something would happen," she said discontentedly. "I think I'll +put on a mackintosh and go out in search of adventure." + +"Pneumonia will happen if you do." + +"What business has it to be raining, anyway, when it ought to be +snowing?" + +As this was unanswerable, Priscilla returned to her frogs, and Patty +drummed gloomily on the window-pane until a maid appeared with a card. + +"A caller?" cried Patty. "A missionary! A rescuer! A deliverer! Heaven +send it's for me!" + +"Miss Pond," said Sadie, laying the card on the table. + +Patty pounced upon it. "'Mr. Frederick K. Stanthrope.' Who's he, Pris?" + +Priscilla wrinkled up her brows. "I don't know; I never heard of him. +What do you suppose it can be?" + +"An adventure--I know it's an adventure. Probably your uncle, that you +never heard of, has just died in the South Sea Islands, and left you a +fortune because you're his namesake; or else you're a countess by +rights, and were stolen from your cradle in infancy, and he's the lawyer +come to tell you about it. I think it might have happened to me, when +I'm so bored to death! But hurry up and tell me about it, at least; a +second-hand adventure's better than no adventure at all. Yes, your hair +is all right; never mind looking in the glass." And Patty pushed her +room-mate out of the door, and, sitting down at her desk again, quite +cheerfully pulled her discarded paper out of the waste-basket and began +re-reading it with evident approval. + +Priscilla returned before she had finished. "He didn't ask for me at +all," she announced. "He asked for Miss McKay." + +"Miss McKay?" + +"That junior with the hair," she explained a trifle vaguely. + +"How disgusting!" cried Patty. "I had it all planned how I was going to +live with you in your castle up in the Hartz Mountains, and now it turns +out that Miss McKay is the countess, and I don't even know her. What did +the man look like, and what did he do?" + +"Well, he looked rather frightened, and didn't do anything but stammer. +There were two men in the reception-room, and of course I picked out the +wrong one and begged his pardon and asked if he were Mr. Stanthrope. He +said no; his name was Wiggins. So then the only thing left for me to do +was to beg the other one's pardon. + +"He was sitting in that high-backed green chair, with his eyes glued to +his shoes, and holding his hat and cane in front of him like +breastworks, as if he were preparing to repel an attack. He didn't look +very approachable, but I boldly accosted him and asked if he were Mr. +Stanthrope. He stood up and stammered and blushed and looked as if he +wanted to deny it, but finally acknowledged that he was, and then stood +politely waiting for me to state my business! I explained, and he +stammered some more, and finally got out that he had called to see Miss +McKay, and that the maid must have made a mistake. He was quite cross +about it, you know, and acted as if I had insulted him; and the other +man--the horrible Wiggins one--laughed, and then looked out of the +window and pretended he hadn't. I apologized,--though I couldn't for the +life of me see what there was to apologize for,--and told him I would +send the maid for Miss McKay, and backed out." + +"Is that all?" Patty asked disappointedly. "If I couldn't have a better +adventure than that, I shouldn't have any." + +"But the funny thing is that when I told Sadie, she _insisted_ that he +had asked for me." + +"Ha! The plot thickens, after all. What does it mean? Did he look like a +detective, or merely a pickpocket?" + +"He looked like a very ordinarily embarrassed young man." + +Patty shook her head dejectedly. "There's a mystery somewhere, but I +don't see that it affords much entertainment. I dare say that when Miss +McKay came he told her he hadn't asked for her at all; he had asked for +Miss Higginbotham. The only explanation I can think of is that he is +insane, and there are so many insane people in the world that it isn't +even interesting." + +Patty recounted the story of Priscilla's caller at the dinner-table that +night. + +"I know the sequel," said Lucille Carter. "The other man, the Mr. +Wiggins, is Bonnie Connaught's cousin; and he told her about some young +man who came out in the car with him, and asked for Miss Pond at the +door, and then all of a sudden seemed to change his mind, and went +tearing down the corridor after the maid, yelling, 'Hi, there! Hi, +there!' at the top of his voice; but he couldn't catch her, and when +Miss Pond came he pretended he had asked for some one else." + +"Is that all?" asked Patty. "I don't think it is much of a sequel. It +just proves that there's a plot against Priscilla's life, and I already +knew that. I intend to ask Miss McKay about him. I don't know her, +except by sight, but in a case of life and death like this, I don't +think it's necessary to wait for an introduction." + +The next evening Patty announced: "Sequel number two! Mr. Frederick K. +Stanthrope lives in New York, and is Miss McKay's brother's best friend. +She has only met him once before, and doesn't know any of his past +affiliations. But the queer thing is that he never mentioned to her +anything about Priscilla. Shouldn't you naturally think he would have +told her about such a funny mistake? + +"In my opinion," Patty continued solemnly, "it was plainly premeditated. +He is undoubtedly a villain in disguise, and he used his acquaintance +with Miss McKay as a cloak to elude detection. My theory is this: He got +Priscilla's name out of the catalogue, and came here intending to murder +her for her _jools_; but when he saw how big she was he was scared and +so abandoned his dastardly intent. Now if he had chosen me, my body +would, at this moment, have been concealed behind the sofa, and my +class-pin reposing in the murderer's pocket." + +Patty shuddered. "Think what I escaped. And all the time I was grumbling +because nothing ever happens here!" + +A few days later she appeared at the table with a further announcement: +"I have the pleasure of offering for your perusal, young ladies, the +third and last sequel in the great Stanthrope-Pond-McKay mystery. And I +hereby take the opportunity of apologizing to Mr. Stanthrope for my +unworthy suspicions. He is not a burglar, nor a detective, nor a +murderer, nor even a lawyer, but just a poor young man with a buried +romance." + +"How did you find out?"--in a chorus of voices. + +"I just met Miss McKay in the hall, and she has been in New York, where +her brother told her the particulars. It seems that three or four years +ago Mr. Frederick K. Stanthrope was engaged to a girl here in college +named Alice Pond--she is now Mrs. Hiram Brown, but that has nothing to +do with the story. + +"Being in town last Saturday on business, he decided to run out and call +on Miss McKay, as he was such a friend of her brother's--and also for +the sake of old times. He amused himself all the way out in the car by +resurrecting his buried romance, and he kept getting more and more +pensive with every mile. When he finally reached the door and handed his +card to the maid, he abstractedly called for Miss Pond just as he used +to do four years ago. He didn't realize at first what he had done. Then +it came over him in a flash, but he couldn't catch Sadie. He knew, of +course, that the other man had heard, and he sat there scared to death, +trying to think of some plausible excuse, and momentarily expecting a +strange Miss Pond to pop in and demand an explanation. + +"Sure enough, the curtains parted, and a tall, beautiful, stately +creature (I quote Miss McKay's brother) swept into the room, and, +approaching the wrong man, asked him in haughty tones if he were Mr. +Frederick K. Stanthrope. He very properly denied it, whereupon there was +nothing for the right Mr. Stanthrope to do but stand up and acknowledge +it like a man, which he did; but there he stuck. His imagination was +numbed, paralyzed; so he turned it off on poor Sadie, and all the time +he knew that the other man knew that he was lying. And that is all," +Patty finished. "It's not much of a story, but such as it is, it's a +blessing to have it concluded." + +"Patty," called Priscilla, from the other end of the table, "have you +been telling them that absurd story?" + +"Why not?" asked Patty. "Having heard so many sequels, they naturally +wanted to hear the last." + +Priscilla laughed. "But yours doesn't happen to be the last. I know a +still later one." + +"Later than Patty's?" the table demanded. + +"Yes, later than Patty's. It isn't really a sequel; it's just an +appendix. I shouldn't tell you, only you'll find it out, so I might as +well. Miss McKay has invited two men for the junior party, and both have +accepted. As two men are hard to manage, she has (by request) asked me +to take care of one of them--namely, Mr. Frederick K. Stanthrope." + +Patty sighed. "I see a whole series of sequels stretching away into the +future. It's worse than the Elsie Books!" + + + + +VII + +In Pursuit of Old English + + +"Hello, Patty! Have you read the bulletin-board this morning?" called +Cathy Fair, as she caught up with Patty on the way home from a +third-hour recitation. + +"No," said Patty; "I think it's a bad habit. You see too many unpleasant +things there." + +"Well, there's certainly an unpleasant one to-day. Miss Skelling wishes +the Old English class to be provided with writing materials this +afternoon." + +Patty stopped with a groan. "I think it's absolutely abominable to give +an examination without a word of warning." + +"Not an examination," quoted Cathy; "just a 'little test to see how +much you know.'" + +"I don't know a thing," wailed Patty--"not a blessed thing." + +"Nonsense, Patty; you know more than any one else in the class." + +"Bluff--it's all pure bluff. I come in strong on the literary criticism +and the general discussions, and she never realizes that I don't know a +word of the grammar." + +"You've got two hours. You can cut your classes and review it up." + +"Two hours!" said Patty, sadly. "I need two days. I've never learned it, +I tell you. The Anglo-Saxon grammar is a thing no mortal can carry in +his head, and I thought I might as well wait and learn it before +examinations." + +"I don't wish to appear unfeeling," laughed Cathy, "but I should say, my +dear, that it serves you right." + +"Oh, I dare say," said Patty. "You are as bad as Priscilla"; and she +trailed gloomily homeward. + +She found her friends reviewing biology and eating olives. "Have one?" +asked Lucille Carter, who, provided with a hat-pin by way of fork, was +presiding over the bottle for the moment. + +"No, thanks," returned Patty, in the tone of one who has exhausted life +and longs for death. + +"What's the matter?" inquired Priscilla. "You don't mean to say that +woman has given you another special topic?" + +"Worse than that!" and Patty laid bare the tragedy. + +A sympathetic silence followed; they realized that while she was, +perhaps, not strictly deserving of sympathy, still her impending fate +was of the kind that might overtake any one. + +"You know, Pris," said Patty, miserably, "that I simply _can't_ pass." + +"No," said Priscilla, soothingly; "I don't believe you can." + +"I shall flunk _flat_--absolutely _flat_. Miss Skelling will never have +any confidence in me again, and will make me recite every bit of +grammar for the rest of the semester." + +"I should think you'd cut," ventured Georgie--that being, in her +opinion, the most obvious method of escaping an examination. + +"I can't. I just met Miss Skelling in the hall five minutes before the +blow fell, and she knows I'm alive and able to be about; besides, the +class meets again to-morrow morning, and I'd have to cram all night or +cut that too." + +"Why don't you go to Miss Skelling and frankly explain the situation," +suggested Lucille the virtuous, "and ask her to let you off for a day or +two? She would like you all the better for it." + +"Will you listen to the guileless babe!" said Patty. "What is there to +explain, may I ask? I can't very well tell her that I prefer not to +learn the lessons as she gives them out, but think it easier to wait and +cram them up at one fell swoop, just before examinations. That _would_ +ingratiate myself in her favor!" + +"It's your own fault," said Priscilla. + +Patty groaned. "I was just waiting to hear you say that! You always do." + +"It's always true. Where are you going?" as Patty started for the door. + +"I am going," said Patty, "to ask Mrs. Richards to give me a new +room-mate: one who will understand and appreciate me, and sympathize +with my afflictions." + +Patty walked gloomily down the corridor, lost in meditation. Her way led +past the door of the doctor's office, which was standing invitingly +open. Three or four girls were sitting around the room, laughing and +talking and waiting their turns. Patty glanced in, and a radiant smile +suddenly lightened her face, but it was instantly replaced by a look of +settled sadness. She walked in and dropped into an arm-chair with a +sigh. + +"What's the matter, Patty? You look as if you had melancholia." + +Patty smiled apathetically. "Not quite so bad as that," she murmured, +and leaned back and closed her eyes. + +[Illustration: What's the matter, Patty?] + +"Next," said the doctor from the doorway; but as she caught sight of +Patty she walked over and shook her arm. "Is this Patty Wyatt? What is +the matter with you, child?" + +Patty opened her eyes with a start. "Nothing," she said; "I'm just a +little tired." + +"Come in here with me." + +"It's not my turn," objected Patty. + +"That makes no difference," returned the doctor. + +Patty dropped limply into the consulting-chair. + +"Let me see your tongue. Um-m--isn't coated very much. Your pulse seems +regular, though possibly a trifle feverish. Have you been working hard?" + +"I don't think I've been working any harder than usual," said Patty, +truthfully. + +"Sitting up late nights?" + +Patty considered. "I was up rather late twice last week," she confessed. + +"If you girls persist in studying until all hours of the night, I +don't know what we doctors can do." + +Patty did not think it necessary to explain that it was a Welsh-rabbit +party on each occasion, so she merely sighed and looked out of the +window. + +"Is your appetite good?" + +"Yes," said Patty, in a tone which belied the words; "it seems to be +very good." + +"Um-m," said the doctor. + +"I'm just a little tired," pursued Patty, "but I think I shall be all +right as soon as I get a chance to rest. Perhaps I need a tonic," she +suggested. + +"You'd better stay out of classes for a day or two and get thoroughly +rested." + +"Oh, no," said Patty, in evident perturbation. "Our room is so full of +girls all the time that it's really more restful to go to classes; and, +besides, I can't stay out just now." + +"Why not?" demanded the doctor, suspiciously. + +"Well," said Patty, a trifle reluctantly, "I have a good deal to do. +I've got to cram for an examination, and--" + +The word "cram" was to the doctor as a red rag to a bull. "Nonsense!" +she ejaculated. "I know what I shall do with you. You are going right +over to the infirmary for a few days--" + +"Oh, doctor!" Patty pleaded, with tears in her eyes, "there's _truly_ +nothing the matter with me, and I've _got_ to take that examination." + +"What examination is it?" + +"Old English--Miss Skelling." + +"I will see Miss Skelling myself," said the doctor, "and explain that +you cannot take the examination until you come out. And now," she added, +making a note of Patty's case, "I will have you put in the convalescent +ward, and we will try the rest cure for a few days, and feed you up on +chicken-broth and egg-nog, and see if we can get that appetite back." + +"Thank you," said Patty, with the resigned air of one who has given up +struggling against the inevitable. + +"I like to see you take an interest in your work," added the doctor, +kindly; "but you must always remember, my dear, that health is the first +consideration." + +Patty returned to the study and executed an impromptu dance in the +middle of the floor. + +"What's the matter?" exclaimed Priscilla. "Are you crazy?" + +"No," said Patty; "only ill." And she went into her bedroom and began +slinging things into a dress-suit case. + +Priscilla stood in the doorway and watched her in amazement. "Are you +going to New York?" she asked. + +"No," said Patty; "to the infirmary." + +"Patty Wyatt, you're a wretched little hypocrite!" + +"Not at all," said Patty, cheerfully. "I didn't ask to go, but the +doctor simply insisted. I told her I had an examination, but she said it +didn't make any difference; health must be the first consideration." + +"What's in that bottle?" demanded Priscilla. + +"That's for my appetite," said Patty, with a grin; "the doctor hopes to +improve it. I didn't like to discourage her, but I don't much believe +she can." She dropped an Old English grammar and a copy of "Beowulf" +into her suit-case. + +"They won't let you study," said Priscilla. + +"I shall not ask them," said Patty. "Good-by. Tell the girls to drop in +occasionally and see me in my incarceration. Visiting hour from five to +six." She stuck her head in again. "If any one wants to send violets, I +think they might cheer me up." + + * * * * * + +THE next afternoon Georgie and Priscilla presented themselves at the +infirmary, and were met at the door by the austere figure of the head +nurse. "I will see if Miss Wyatt is awake," she said dubiously, "but I +am afraid you will excite her; she's to be kept very quiet." + +"Oh, no; we'll do her good," remonstrated Georgie; and the two girls +tiptoed in after the nurse. + +The convalescent ward was a large, airy room, furnished in green and +white, with four or five beds, each surrounded with brass poles and +curtains. Patty was lying in one of the corner beds near a window, +propped up on pillows, with her hair tumbled about her face, and a table +beside her covered with flowers and glasses of medicine. This elaborate +paraphernalia of sickness created a momentary illusion in the minds of +the visitors. Priscilla ran to the bedside and dropped on her knees +beside her invalid room-mate. + +"Patty dear," she said anxiously, "how do you feel?" + +A seraphic smile spread over Patty's face. "I've been able to take a +little nourishment to-day," she said. + +"Patty, you're a scandalous humbug! Who gave you those violets? 'With +love, from Lady Clara Vere de Vere'--that blessed freshman!--and you've +borrowed every drop of alcohol the poor child ever thought of owning. +And whom are those roses from? Miss Skelling! Patty, you ought to be +ashamed." + +Patty had the grace to blush slightly. "I was a trifle embarrassed," she +admitted; "but when I reflected upon how sorry she would have been to +find out how little I knew, and how glad she will be to find out how +much I know, my conscience was appeased." + +"Have you been studying?" asked Georgie. + +"Studying!" Patty lifted up the corner of her pillow and exhibited a +blue book. "Two days more of this, and I shall be the chief authority in +America on Anglo-Saxon roots." + +"How do you manage it?" + +"Oh," said Patty, "when the rest-hour begins I lie down and shut my +eyes, and they tiptoe over and look at me, and whisper, 'She's asleep,' +and softly draw the curtains around the bed; and I get out the book and +put in two solid hours of irregular verbs, and am still sleeping when +they come to look at me. They're perfectly astonished at the amount I +sleep. I heard the nurse telling the doctor that she didn't believe I'd +had any sleep for a month. And the worst of it is," she added, "that I +_am_ tired, whether you believe it or not, and I should just love to +stay over here and sleep all day if I weren't so beastly conscientious +about that old grammar." + +"Poor Patty!" laughed Georgie. "She will be imposing on herself next, as +well as on the whole college." + +Friday morning Patty returned to the world. + +"How's Old English?" inquired Priscilla. + +"Very well, thank you. It was something of a cram, but I think I know +that grammar by heart, from the preface to the index." + +"You're back in all your other work. Do you think it paid?" + +"That remains to be seen," laughed Patty. + +She knocked on Miss Skelling's door, and, after the first polite +greetings, stated her errand: "I should like, if it is convenient for +you, to take the examination I missed." + +"Do you feel able to take it to-day?" + +"I feel much better able to take it to-day than I did on Tuesday." + +Miss Skelling smiled kindly. "You have done very good work in Old +English this semester, Miss Wyatt, and I should not ask you to take the +examination at all if I thought it would be fair to the rest of the +class." + +"Fair to the rest of the class?" Patty looked a trifle blank; she had +not considered this aspect of the question, and a slow red flush crept +over her face. She hesitated a moment, and rose uncertainly. "When it +comes to that, Miss Skelling," she confessed, "I'm afraid it wouldn't be +quite fair to the rest of the class for me to take it." + +Miss Skelling did not understand. "But, Miss Wyatt," she expostulated in +a puzzled tone, "it was not difficult. I am sure you could pass." + +Patty smiled. "I am sure I could, Miss Skelling. I don't believe you +could ask me a question that I couldn't answer. But the point is that +it's all learned since Tuesday. The doctor was laboring under a little +delusion--very natural under the circumstances--when she sent me to the +infirmary, and I spent my time there studying." + +"But, Miss Wyatt, this is very unusual. I shall not know how to mark +you," Miss Skelling murmured in some distress. + +"Oh, mark me zero," said Patty, cheerfully. "It doesn't matter in the +least--I know such a lot that I'll get through on the finals. Good-by; +I'm sorry to have troubled you." And she closed the door and turned +thoughtfully homeward. + +"Did it pay?" asked Priscilla. + +Patty laughed and murmured softly: + + "'The King of France rode up the hill with full ten thousand men; + The King of France did gain the top, and then rode down again.'" + +"What are you talking about?" demanded Priscilla. + +"Old English," said Patty, as she sat down at her desk and commenced on +the three days' work she had missed. + + + + +VIII + +The Deceased Robert + + +It was ten o'clock, and Patty, having just read her ethics over for the +third time without comprehending it, had announced sleepily, "I shall +have to be good by inspiration; I can't seem to grasp the rule," when a +knock sounded on the door and a maid appeared with the announcement, +"Mrs. Richards wishes to see Miss Wyatt." + +"At this hour!" Patty cried in dismay. "It must be something serious. +Think, Priscilla. What have I been doing lately that would outrage the +warden sufficiently to call me up at ten o'clock? You don't suppose I'm +going to be suspended or rusticated or expelled or anything like that, +do you? I _honestly_ can't think of a thing I've done." + +"It's a telegram," the maid said sympathetically. + +"A telegram?" Patty's face turned pale, and she left the room without a +word. + +Priscilla and Georgie sat on the couch and looked at each other with +troubled faces. All ordinary telegrams came directly to the students. +They knew that something serious must have happened to have it sent to +the warden. Georgie got up and walked around the room uncertainly. + +"Shall I go away, Pris?" she asked. "I suppose Patty would rather be +alone if anything has happened. But if she's going home and has to pack +her trunk to-night, come and tell me and I will come down and help." + +They stood at the door a few moments talking in low tones, and as +Georgie started to turn away, Patty's step suddenly sounded in the +corridor. She came in with a queer smile on her lips, and sat down on +the couch. + +"The warden has certainly reduced the matter of scaring people to a +fine art," she said. "I was never more frightened in my life. I thought +that the least that had happened was an earthquake which had engulfed +the entire family." + +"What was the matter?" Georgie and Priscilla asked in a breath. + +Patty spread out a crumpled telegram on her knee, and the girls read it +over her shoulder: + + Robert died of an overdose of chloroform at ten + this morning. Funeral to-morrow. + + THOMAS M. WYATT. + +"Thomas M. Wyatt," said Patty, grimly, "is my small brother Tommy, and +Robert is short for Bobby Shafto, which was the name of Tommy's bull +pup, the homeliest and worst-tempered dog that was ever received into +the bosom of a respectable family." + +"But why in the world did he telegraph?" + +"It's a joke," said Patty, shaking her head dejectedly. "Joking runs in +the family, and we've all inherited the tendency. One time my +father--but, as my friend Kipling says, that's another story. This dog, +you see--this Robert Shafto--has cast a shadow over my vacations for +more than a year. He killed my kitten, and ate my Venetian lace +collar--it didn't even give him indigestion. He went out and wallowed in +the rain and mud and came in and slept on my bed. He stole the beefsteak +for breakfast and the rubbers and door-mats for blocks around. Property +on the street appreciably declined, for prospective purchasers refused +to purchase so long as Tommy Wyatt kept a dog. Robert was threatened +with death time and again, but Tommy always managed to conceal him from +impending justice until the trouble had blown over. But this time I +suppose he committed some supreme enormity--probably chewed up the baby +or one of my father's Persian rugs, or something like that. And Tommy, +knowing how I detested the beast, evidently thought it would be a good +joke to telegraph, though wherein lies the point I can't make out." + +"Ah, I see," said Georgie; "and Mrs. Richards thought that Robert was a +relation. What did she say?" + +"She said, 'Come in, Patty dear,' when I knocked on the door. Usually +when I have had the honor of being received by her she has somewhat +frigidly called me 'Miss Wyatt.' I opened the door with my knees shaking +when I heard that 'Patty dear,' and she took my hand and said, 'I am +sorry to have to tell you that I have heard bad news from your brother.' + +"'Tommy?' I gasped. + +"'No; Robert.' + +"I was dazed. I racked my brains, but I couldn't remember any brother +Robert. + +"'He is very ill,' she went on. 'Yes, I must tell you the truth, Patty; +poor little Robert passed away this morning'; and she laid the telegram +before me. Then, when it flashed over me what it meant, I was so +relieved that I put my head down on her desk and simply laughed till I +cried; and she thought I was crying all the time, and kept patting my +head and quoting Psalms. Well, then I didn't dare to tell her, after she +had expended all that sympathy; so as soon as I could stop laughing +(which wasn't very soon, for I had got considerable momentum) I raised +my head and told her--trying to be truthful and at the same time not +hurt her feelings--that Robert was not a brother, but just a sort of +friend. And, do you know, she immediately jumped to the conclusion that +he was a fiancé, and began stroking my hair and murmuring that it was +sometimes harder to lose friends than relatives, but that I was still +young, and I must not let it blast my life, and that maybe in the future +when time had dulled the pain--and then, remembering that it wouldn't do +to advise me to adopt a second fiancé before I had buried my first, she +stopped suddenly and asked if I wished to go home to the funeral. + +"I told her no, that I didn't think it would be best; and she said +perhaps not if it hadn't been announced, and she kissed me and told me +she was glad to see me bearing up so bravely." + +"Patty!" Priscilla exclaimed in horror, "it's dreadful. How could you +let her think it?" + +"How could I help it?" Patty demanded indignantly. "What with being +frightened into hysterics first, and then having a strange fiancé thrust +at me without a moment's notice, I think that I carried off the +situation with rare delicacy and finesse. Do you think it would have +been tactful to tell her it was nothing but a bull pup she was quoting +Scripture about?" + +"I don't see how it was exactly your fault," Georgie acknowledged. + +"Thank you," said Patty. "If you had a brother like Tommy Wyatt you +would know how to sympathize with me. I suppose I ought to be grateful +to know that the dog is dead, but I should like to have had the news +broken a little less gently." + +"Patty," exclaimed Priscilla, as a sudden thought struck her, "do you +happen to remember that you are on the reception committee of the +Dramatic Club cotillion to-morrow night? What will Mrs. Richards think +when she sees you in evening dress, receiving at a party, on the very +day your fiancé has been buried?" + +"I wonder?" said Patty, doubtfully. "Do you really think I ought to stay +away? After working like a little buzz-saw making tissue-paper favors +for the thing, I hate to have to miss it just because my brother's bull +pup, that I never even _liked_, is dead. + +"I'll go," she added, brightening, "and receive the guests with a forced +and mechanical smile; and every time I feel the warden's eyes upon me I +shall with difficulty choke back the tears, and she will say to herself: + +"'Brave girl! How nobly she is struggling to present a composed face to +the world! None would dream, to look at that seemingly radiant +creature, that, while she is outwardly so gay, she is in reality +concealing a great sorrow which is gnawing at her very vitals.'" + + + + +IX + +Patty the Comforter + + +It was on the eve of the mid-year examinations, and a gloom had fallen +over the college. The conscientious ones who had worked all the year +were working harder than ever, and the frivolous ones who had played all +the year were working with a desperate frenzy calculated to render their +minds a blank when the crucial hour should have arrived. But Patty was +not working. It was a canon of her college philosophy, gained by three +and a half years' of personal experience, that the day before +examinations is not the time to begin to study. One has impressed the +instructor with one's intelligent interest in the subject, or one has +not, and the result is as sure as if the marks were already down in +black and white in the college archives. And so Patty, who at least +lived up to her lights, was, with the exception of a few points which +she intended to learn for this period only, conscientiously neglecting +the "judicious review" recommended by the faculty. + +Her friends, however, who, though perhaps equally philosophic, were less +consistent, were subjecting themselves to what was known as a "regular +freshman cram"; and as no one had any time to talk to Patty, or to make +anything to eat, she found it an unprofitable period. Her own room-mate +even drove her from the study because she laughed out loud over the book +she was reading; and, an exile, she wandered around to the studies of +her friends, and was confronted by an "engaged" on every door. She was +sitting on a window-sill in the corridor, pondering on the general +barrenness of things, when she suddenly remembered her friends the +freshmen in study 321. She had not visited them for some time, and +freshmen are usually interesting at this period. She accordingly turned +down the corridor that led to 321, and found a "POSITIVELY ENGAGED TO +EVERY ONE!!" in letters three inches high, across the door. This +promised a richness of entertainment within, and Patty heaved a +disappointed sigh loud enough to carry through the transom. + +The turning of leaves and rustling of paper ceased; evidently they were +listening, but they gave no sign. Patty wrote a note on the door-block +with reverberating punctuation-points, and then retired noisily, and +tiptoed back a moment later, and leaned against the wall. Curiosity +prevailed; the door opened, and a face wearing a hunted look peered out. + +"Oh, Patty Wyatt, was that you?" she asked. "We thought it was Frances +Stoddard coming down to have geometry explained, and so we kept still. +Come in." + +"Goodness, no; I wouldn't come in over an 'engaged' like that for +anything. I'm afraid you're busy." + +The freshman grasped her by the arm. "Patty, if you love us come in and +cheer us up. We're so scared we don't know what to do." + +Patty consented to be drawn across the threshold. "I don't want to +interrupt you," she remonstrated, "if you have anything to do." The +study was occupied by three girls. Patty smiled benignly at the two +haggard faces before her. "Where's Lady Clara Vere de Vere?" she asked. +"She surely isn't wasting these precious last moments in anything +frivolous." + +"She's in her bedroom, with a geometry in one hand and a Greek grammar +in the other, trying to learn them both at once." + +"Tell her to come out here; I want to give her some good advice"; and +Patty sat down on the divan and surveyed the dictionary-bestrewn room +with an appreciative smile. + +"Oh, Patty, I'm so glad to see you!" Lady Clara exclaimed, appearing in +the doorway. "The sophomores have been telling us the most _dreadful_ +stories about examinations. They aren't true, are they?" + +"Mercy, no! Don't believe a word those sophomores tell you. They were +freshmen themselves last year, and if the examinations were as bad as +they say, they wouldn't have passed them, either." + +A relieved expression stole over the three faces. + +"You're such a comfort, Patty. Upper-classmen take things easily, don't +they?" + +"One gets inured to almost anything in time," said Patty. "Examinations +are even entertaining, if you know the right answers." + +"But we won't know the right answers!" one of the freshmen wailed, her +terror returning. "We simply don't know _anything_, and Latin comes +to-morrow, and geometry the next day." + +"Oh, well, in that case you can't get through anyway, so don't worry. +You must take it philosophically, you know." Patty settled herself among +the cushions and smiled upon her frightened auditors with easy +nonchalance. "As an example of the uselessness of studying at the +eleventh hour when you haven't done anything through the term, I will +tell you my experience with freshman Greek. I was badly prepared when I +came, I didn't study through the term, and, without exaggeration, I +didn't know anything. Three days before examinations I suddenly +comprehended the situation, and I began swallowing that grammar in +chunks. I drank black coffee to keep awake, and worked till two in the +morning, and scarcely stopped cramming irregular verbs for meals. I +simply thought in Greek and dreamed in Greek. And, if you will believe +it, after all that work I flunked in Greek! It shook my faith in +studying for examinations. I've never done it since, and I've never +flunked since. I believe that it's just a matter of fate whether you get +through or not, so I never bother any more." + +The freshmen looked at one another disconsolately. "If it's all decided +beforehand, we're lost." + +Patty smiled reassuringly. + + "A little flunking now and then + Will happen to the best of men." + +"But I've heard they send people home, drop them, you know, if they +flunk more than a certain amount. Is that so?" Lady Clara inquired in +hushed tones. + +"Oh, yes," said Patty; "they have to. I've known some of the brightest +girls in college to be dropped." + +Lady Clara groaned. "I'm awfully shaky in geometry, Patty. Do they flunk +many girls in that?" + +"Many!" said Patty. "The mere clerical labor of writing out the notes +occupies the department two days." + +"Is the examination terribly hard?" + +"I don't remember much about it. It's been such a long time since I was +a freshman, you see. They picked out the hardest theorems, I +know--things you couldn't even draw, let alone demonstrate: the pyramid +that's cut in slices, for one,--I don't remember its name,--and that +sprawling one that looks like a snail crawling out of its shell: the +devil's coffin, I believe it's called technically. And--oh, yes! they +give you originals--_frightful_ originals, like nothing you've ever had +before; and they put a little note at the top of the page telling you to +do them first, and you get so muddled trying to think fast that you +can't think at all. I know a girl who spent all the two hours trying to +think out an original, and just as she got ready to write it down the +bell rang and she had to hand in her paper." + +"And what happened?" + +"Oh, she flunked. You couldn't really blame the instructor, you know, +for not reading between the lines, for there weren't any lines to read +between; but it was sort of a pity, for the girl really knew an awful +lot--but she couldn't express it." + +"That's just like me." + +"Ah, it's like a good many people." A silence ensued, and the freshmen +looked at one another dejectedly. "But you can live, even if you should +flunk math," Patty continued reassuringly. "Other people have done it +before you." + +"If it were only geometry--but we're scared over Latin." + +"Oh, Latin! There's no use studying for that, for you can't possibly +read it all over, and if you just pick out a part, it's sure not to be +the same part _they_ pick out. The best way is to say incantations over +the book, and open it with your eyes blindfolded, and study the page it +opens to; then, in case you don't pass,--and you probably won't,--you +can throw the blame on fate. My freshman year, if I remember right, they +gave us for prose composition one of Emerson's essays to translate into +Latin, and we couldn't even tell what it meant in English." + +The three looked at one another again. + +"I couldn't do anything like that." + +"Nor I." + +"Nor I." + +"Nor any one else," said Patty. + +"We can flunk Latin and math; but if we flunk any more we're gone." + +"I believe so," said Patty. + +"And I'm awfully shaky in German." + +"And I in French." + +"And I in Greek." + +"I don't know anything about German," said Patty. "Never had it myself. +But I remember hearing Priscilla say that the printed examination papers +didn't come but in time, and Fräulein Scherin, who writes a frightful +hand, wrote the questions on the board in German script, and they +couldn't even read them. In French I believe the first question was to +write out the 'Marseillaise'; there are seven verses, and no one had +learned them, and the 'Marseillaise,' you know, is a thing that you +simply _can't_ make up on the spur of the moment. As for Greek, I told +you my own experience; I am sure nothing could be worse than that." + +The freshmen looked at one another hopelessly. "There's only English +and hygiene and Bible history left." + +"English is something you can't tell anything about," said Patty. +"They're as likely as not to ask you to write a heroic poem in iambic +pentameters, if you know what they are. You have to depend on +inspiration; you can't study for it." + +"I hope," sighed Lady Clara, "to get through hygiene and Bible history, +though, as they only count one hour apiece, I suppose it isn't much." + +"You mustn't be too sanguine," said Patty. "It all depends on chance. +The class in hygiene is so big that the professor hasn't time to read +the papers; he just goes down the list and flunks every thirteenth girl. +I'm not sure about Bible history, but I think he does the same, because +I know, freshman year, that I made a mistake and handed in my map of the +Holy Lands done in colored chalk to the hygiene professor, and my chart +of the digestive system to the Bible professor, and neither of them +noticed it. They did look a good deal alike, but not so much but what +you could tell them apart. All I have to say is that I hope none of you +will be number thirteen." + +The freshmen stared at one another in speechless horror, and Patty rose. +"Well, good-by, my children, and, above all things, don't worry. I'm +glad if I've been able to cheer you up a little, for so much depends on +not being nervous. Don't believe any of the silly stories the sophomores +tell," she called back over her shoulder; "they're just trying to +frighten you." + + + + +X + +"Per l'Italia" + + +College is a more or less selfish place. Everybody is so busy with her +own affairs that she has no time to give to her neighbor, unless her +neighbor has something to give in return. Olivia Copeland apparently had +nothing to give in return. She was quiet and inconspicuous, and it took +a second glance to realize that her face was striking and that there was +a look in her eyes that other freshmen did not have. By an unfelicitous +chance she was placed in the same study with Lady Clara Vere de Vere and +Emily Washburn. They thought her foreign and queer, and she thought them +crude and boisterous, and after the first week or two of politely trying +to get acquainted the effort was dropped on both sides. + +The year wore on, and nobody knew, or at least no one paid any attention +to the fact, that Olivia Copeland was homesick and unhappy. Her +room-mates thought that they had done their duty when they occasionally +asked her to play golf or go skating with them (an invitation they were +very safe in giving, as she knew how to do neither). Her instructors +thought that they had done their duty when they called her up to the +desk after class and warned her that her work was not as good as it had +been, and that if she wished to pass she must improve in it. + +The English class was the only one in which she was not warned; but she +had no means of knowing that her themes were handed about among the +different instructors and that she was referred to in the department as +"that remarkable Miss Copeland." The department had a theory that if +they let a girl know she was doing good work she would immediately stop +and rest upon her reputation; and Olivia, in consequence, did not +discover that she was remarkable. She merely discovered that she was +miserable and out of place, and she continued to drip tears of +homesickness before a sketch of an Italian villa that hung above her +desk. + +It was Patty Wyatt who first discovered her. Patty had dropped into the +freshmen's room one afternoon on some errand or other (probably to +borrow alcohol), and had idly picked up a pile of English themes that +were lying on the study table. + +"Whose are these? Do you care if I look at them?" she asked. + +"No; you can read them if you want to," said Lady Clara. "They're +Olivia's, but she won't mind." + +Patty carelessly turned the pages, and then, as a title caught her eye, +she suddenly looked up with a show of interest. "'The Coral-fishers of +Capri'! What on earth does Olivia Copeland know about the coral-fishers +of Capri?" + +"Oh, she lives somewhere near there--at Sorrento," said Lady Clara, +indifferently. + +"Olivia Copeland lives at Sorrento!" Patty stared. "Why didn't you tell +me?" + +"I supposed you knew it. Her father's an artist or something of the +sort. She's lived in Italy all her life; that's what makes her so +queer." + +Patty had once spent a sunshiny week in Sorrento herself, and the very +memory of it was intoxicating. "Where is she?" she asked excitedly. "I +want to talk to her." + +"I don't know where she is. Out walking, probably. She goes off walking +all by herself, and never speaks to any one, and then when we ask her to +do something rational, like golf or basket-ball, she pokes in the house +and reads Dante in Italian. Imagine!" + +"Why, she must be interesting!" said Patty, in surprise, and she turned +back to the themes. + +"I think these are splendid!" she exclaimed. + +"Sort of queer, I think," said Lady Clara. "But there's one that's +rather funny. It was read in class--about a peasant that lost his +donkey. I'll find it"; and she rummaged through the pile. + +Patty read it soberly, and Lady Clara watched her with a shade of +disappointment. + +"Don't you think it's pretty good?" she asked. + +"Yes; I think it's one of the best things I ever read." + +"You never even smiled!" + +"My dear child, it isn't funny." + +"Isn't funny! Why, the class simply roared over it." + +Patty shrugged. "Your appreciation must have gratified Olivia. And here +it's February, and I've barely spoken to her." + +The next afternoon Patty was strolling home from a recitation, when she +spied Olivia Copeland across the campus, headed for Pine Bluff and +evidently out for a solitary walk. + +"Olivia Copeland, wait a moment," Patty called. "Are you going for a +walk? May I come too?" she asked, as she panted up behind. + +Olivia assented with evident surprise, and Patty fell into step beside +her. "I just found out yesterday that you live in Sorrento, and I wanted +to talk to you. I was there myself once, and I think it's the most +glorious spot on earth." + +Olivia's eyes shone. "Really?" she gasped. "Oh, I'm so glad!" And before +she knew it she was telling Patty the story of how she had come to +college to please her father, and how she loved Italy and hated America; +and what she did not tell about her loneliness and homesickness Patty +divined. + +She realized that the girl _was_ remarkable, and she determined in the +future to take an interest in her and make her like college. But a +senior's life is busy and taken up with its own affairs, and for the +next week or two Patty saw little of the freshman beyond an occasional +chat in the corridors. + +One evening she and Priscilla had returned late from a dinner in town, +to be confronted by a dark room and an empty match-safe. + +"Wait a moment and I'll get some matches," said Patty; and she knocked +on a door across the corridor where a freshman lived with whom they had +a borrowing acquaintance. She found within her own freshman friends, +Lady Clara Vere de Vere and Emily Washburn. It was evident by the three +heads close together, and the hush that fell on the group as she +entered, that some momentous piece of gossip had been interrupted. Patty +forgot her room-mate waiting in the dark, and dropped into a chair with +the evident purpose of staying out the evening. + +"Tell me all about it, children," she said cordially. + +The freshmen looked at one another and hesitated. + +"A new president?" Patty suggested, "or just a class mutiny?" + +"It's about Olivia Copeland," Lady Clara returned dubiously; "but I +don't know that I ought to say anything." + +"Olivia Copeland?" Patty straightened up with a new interest in her +eyes. "What's Olivia Copeland been doing?" + +"She's been flunking and--" + +"Flunking!" Patty's face was blank. "But I thought she was so bright!" + +"Oh, she is bright; only, you know, she hasn't a way of making people +find it out; and, besides," Lady Clara added with meaning emphasis, "she +was scared over examinations." + +Patty cast a quick look at her. "What do you mean?" she asked. + +Lady Clara was fond of Patty, but she was only human, and she had been +frightened herself. "Well," she explained, "she had heard a lot of +stories from--er--upper-classmen about how hard the examinations are, +and the awful things they do to you if you don't pass, and being a +stranger, she believed them. Of course Emily and I knew better; but she +was just scared to death, and she went all to pieces, and--" + +"Nonsense!" said Patty, impatiently. "You can't make me believe that." + +"If it had been a sophomore that had tried to frighten us," pursued Lady +Clara, "we shouldn't have minded so much: but a senior!" + +"Now, Patty, aren't you sorry that you told us all those things?" asked +Emily. + +Patty laughed. "For the matter of that, I never say anything I'm not +sorry for half an hour later. I'm going to get out a book some day +entitled 'Things I Wish I Hadn't Said: A Collection of _Faux Pas_,' by +Patty Wyatt." + +"I think it's more than a _faux pas_ when you frighten a girl so she--" + +"I suppose you think you're rubbing it in," said Patty, imperturbably; +"but girls don't flunk because they're frightened: they flunk because +they don't know." + +"Olivia knew five times as much geometry as I did, and I got through and +she didn't." + +Patty examined the carpet in silence. + +"She thinks she's going to be dropped, and she's just crying terribly," +pursued Emily, with a certain relish in the details. + +"Crying!" said Patty, sharply. "What's she crying for?" + +"Because she feels bad, I suppose. She'd been out walking, and got +caught in the rain, and she didn't get back in time for dinner, and then +found those notes waiting for her. She's up there lying on the bed, and +she's got hysterics or Roman fever or something like that. She told us +to go away and let her alone. She's awfully cross all of a sudden." + +Patty rose. "I think I'll go and cheer her up." + +"Let her alone, Patty," said Emily. "I know the way you cheer people up. +If you hadn't cheered her up before examinations she wouldn't have +flunked." + +"I didn't know anything about her then," said Patty, a trifle sulkily; +"and, anyway," she added as she opened the door, "I didn't say anything +that affected her passing, one way or the other." She turned toward +Olivia's room, however, with a conscience that was not quite +comfortable. She could not remember just what she _had_ told those +freshmen about examinations, but she had an uneasy feeling that it +might not have been of a reassuring nature. + +"I wish I could ever learn when it is time for joking and when it is +not," she said to herself as she knocked on the study door. + +No one answered, and she turned the knob and entered. A stifled sob came +from one of the bedrooms, and Patty hesitated. + +She was not in the habit of crying herself, and she always felt +uncomfortable when other people did it. Something must be done, however, +and she advanced to the threshold and silently regarded Olivia, who was +stretched face downward on the bed. At the sound of Patty's step she +raised her head and cast a startled glance at the intruder, and then +buried her face in the pillows again. Patty scribbled an "engaged" sign +and pinned it on the study door, and drawing up a chair beside the bed, +she sat down with the air of a physician about to make a diagnosis. + +"Well, Olivia," she began in a business-like tone, "what is the +trouble?" + +Olivia opened her hands and disclosed some crumpled papers. Patty spread +them out and hastily ran her eyes over the official printed slips: + + Miss _Copeland_ is hereby informed that she has + been found deficient in _German_ (_three_ hours). + + + Miss _Copeland_ is hereby informed that she has + been found deficient in _Latin prose_ (_one_ + hour). + + + Miss _Copeland_ is hereby informed that she has + been found deficient in _geometry_ (_four_ hours). + +Patty performed a rapid calculation,--"three and one are four and four +are eight,"--and knit her brows. + +"Will they send me home, Patty?" + +"Mercy, no, child; I hope not. A person who's done as good work as you +in English ought to have the right to flunk every other blessed thing, +if she wants to." + +"But you're dropped if you flunk eight hours; you told me so yourself." + +"Don't believe anything I told you," said Patty, reassuringly. "I don't +know what I'm talking about more than half the time." + +"I'd hate to be sent back, and have my father know I'd failed, when he +spent so much time preparing me; but"--Olivia began to cry again--"I +want to go back so much that I don't believe I care." + +"You don't know what you're talking about," said Patty. She put her hand +on the girl's shoulder. "Mercy, child, you're sopping wet, and you're +shivering! Sit up and take those shoes off." + +Olivia sat up and pulled at the laces with ineffectual fingers, and +Patty jerked them open and dumped the shoes in a squashy heap on the +floor. + +"Do you know what's the matter with you?" she asked. "You're not crying +because you've flunked. You're crying because you've caught cold, and +you're tired and wet and hungry. You take those wet clothes off this +minute and get into a warm bath-robe, and I'll get you some dinner." + +"I don't want any dinner," wailed Olivia, and she showed signs of +turning back to the pillows again. + +"Don't act like a baby, Olivia," said Patty, sharply; "sit up and be +a--a man." + +Ten minutes later Patty returned from a successful looting expedition, +and deposited her spoils on the bedroom table. Olivia sat on the edge of +the bed and watched her apathetically, a picture of shivering +despondency. + +"Drink this," commanded Patty, as she extended a steaming glass. + +Olivia obediently raised it to her lips, and drew back. "What's in it?" +she asked faintly. + +"Everything I could find that's hot--quinine and whisky and Jamaica +ginger and cough syrup and a dash of red pepper, and--one or two other +things. It's my own idea. You can't take cold after _that_." + +"I--I don't believe I want any." + +"Drink it--every drop," said Patty, grimly; and Olivia shut her eyes and +gulped it down. + +"Now," said Patty, cheerfully bustling about, "I'll get dinner. Have you +a can-opener? And any alcohol, by chance? That's nice. We'll have three +courses,--canned soup, canned baked beans, and preserved ginger,--all of +them hot. It's mighty lucky Georgie Merriles was in New York or she'd +never have lent them to me." + +Olivia, to her own astonishment, presently found herself laughing (she +had thought that she would never smile again) as she sipped mulligatawny +soup from a tooth-mug and balanced a pin-trayful of steaming baked beans +on her knee. + +"And now," said Patty, as, the three courses disposed of, she tucked the +freshman into bed, "we'll map out a campaign. While eight hours are +pretty serious, they are not of necessity deadly. What made you flunk +Latin prose?" + +"I never had any before I came, and when I told Miss--" + +"Certainly; she thought it her duty to flunk you. You shouldn't have +mentioned the subject. But never mind. It's only one hour, and it won't +take you a minute to work it off. How about German?" + +"German's a little hard because it's so different from Italian and +French, you know; and I'm sort of frightened when she calls on me, +and--" + +"Pretty stupid, on the whole?" Patty suggested. + +"I'm afraid I am," she confessed. + +"Well, I dare say you deserved to flunk in that. You can tutor it up and +pass it off in the spring. How about geometry?" + +"I thought I knew that, only she didn't ask what I expected and--" + +"An unfortunate circumstance, but it will happen. Could you review it up +a little and take a reëxamination right away?" + +"Yes; I'm sure I could, only they won't give me another chance. They'll +send me home first." + +"Who's your instructor?" + +"Miss Prescott." + +Patty frowned, and then she laughed. "I thought if it were Miss Hawley +I could go to her and explain the matter and ask her to give you a +reëxamination. Miss Hawley's occasionally human. But Miss Prescott! No +wonder you flunked. I'm afraid of her myself. She's the only woman that +ever got a degree at some German university, and she simply hasn't a +thought in the world beyond mathematics. I don't believe the woman has +any soul. If one of those mediums should come here and dematerialize +her, all that would be left would be an equilateral triangle." + +Patty shook her head. "I'm afraid there's not much use in arguing with a +person like that. If she once sees a truth, you know, she sees it for +all time. But never mind; I'll do the best I can. I'll tell her you're +an undiscovered mathematical genius; that it's latent, but if she'll +examine you again she'll find it. That ought to appeal to her. +Good-night. Go to sleep and don't worry; I'll manage her." + +"Good night; and thank you, Patty," called a tolerably cheerful voice +from under the covers. + +Patty closed the door, and stood a moment in the hall, pondering the +situation. Olivia Copeland was too valuable to throw away. The college +must be made to realize her worth. But that was difficult. Patty had +tried to make the college realize things before. Miss Prescott was the +only means of salvation that she could think of, and Miss Prescott was a +doubtful means. She did not at all relish the prospect of calling on +her, but there seemed to be nothing else to do. She made a little +grimace and laughed. "I'm acting like a freshman myself," she thought. +"Walk up, Patty, and face the guns"; and without giving herself time to +hesitate she marched up-stairs and knocked on Miss Prescott's door. She +reflected after she had knocked that perhaps it would have been more +politic to have postponed her business until the morrow. But the door +opened before she had time to run away, and she found herself rather +confusedly bowing to Miss Prescott, who held in her hand, not a book on +calculus, but a common, every-day magazine. + +"Good evening, Miss Wyatt. Won't you come in and sit down?" said Miss +Prescott, in a very cordially human tone. + +As she sank into a deep rush chair Patty had a blurred vision of low +bookcases, pictures, rugs, and polished brass thrown into soft relief by +a shaded lamp which stood on the table. Before she had time to mentally +shake herself and reconstruct her ideas she was gaily chatting to Miss +Prescott about the probable outcome of a serial story in the magazine. + +Miss Prescott did not seem to wonder in the least at this unusual visit, +but talked along easily on various subjects, and laughed and told +stories like the humanest of human beings. Patty watched her, +fascinated. "She's _pretty_," she thought to herself and she began to +wonder how old she was. Never before had she associated any age whatever +with Miss Prescott. She had regarded her much in the same light as a +scientific truth, which exists, but is quite irrespective of time or +place. She tried to recall some story that had been handed about among +the girls her freshman year. She remembered vaguely that it had in it +the suggestion that Miss Prescott had once been in love. At the time +Patty had scoffingly repudiated the idea, but now she was half willing +to believe it. + +Suddenly, in the midst of the conversation, the ten-o'clock bell rang, +and Patty recalled her errand with a start. + +"I suppose," she said, "you are wondering why I came." + +"I was hoping," said Miss Prescott, with a smile, "that it was just to +see me, without any ulterior motive." + +"It will be the next time--if you will let me come again; but to-night I +had another reason, which I'm afraid you'll think impertinent--and," she +added frankly, "I don't know just what's the best way to tell it so that +you _won't_ think it impertinent." + +"Tell it to me any way you please, and I will try not to think so," +said Miss Prescott, kindly. + +"Don't you think sometimes the girls can tell more of one another's +ability than the instructors?" Patty asked. "I know a girl," she +continued, "a freshman, who is, in some ways, the most remarkable person +I have ever met. Of course I can't be sure, but I should say that she is +going to be very good in English some day--so good, you know, that the +college will be proud of her. Well, this girl has flunked such a lot +that I am afraid she is in danger of being sent home, and the college +simply can't afford to lose her. I don't know anything about your rules, +of course, but what seems to me the easiest way is for you to give her +another examination in geometry immediately,--she really knows it,--and +then tell the faculty about her and urge them to give her another +trial." + +Patty brought out this astounding request in the most matter-of-fact way +possible, and the corners of Miss Prescott's mouth twitched as she +asked: "Of whom are you speaking?" + +"Olivia Copeland." + +Miss Prescott's mouth grew firm, and she looked like the instructor in +mathematics again. + +"Miss Copeland did absolutely nothing on her examination, Miss Wyatt, +and what little she has recited during the year does not betoken any +unusual ability. I am sorry, but it would be impossible." + +"But, Miss Prescott," Patty expostulated, "the girl has worked under +such peculiar disadvantages. She's an American, but she lives abroad, +and all our ways are new to her. She has never been to school a day in +her life. Her father prepared her for college, and, of course, not in +the same way that the other girls have been prepared. She is shy, and +not being used to reciting in a class, she doesn't know how to show off. +I am sure, Miss Prescott, that if you would take her and examine her +yourself, you would find that she understands the work--that is, if you +would let her get over being afraid of you first. I know you're busy, +and it's asking a good deal," Patty finished apologetically. + +"It is not that, Miss Wyatt, for of course I do not wish to mark any +student unjustly; but I cannot help feeling that you have overestimated +Miss Copeland's ability. She has really had a chance to show what is in +her, and if she has failed in as many courses as you say--The college, +you know, must keep up the standard of its work, and in questions like +this it is not always possible to consider the individual." + +Patty felt that she was being dismissed, and she groped about wildly for +a new plea. Her eye caught a framed picture of the old monastery of +Amalfi hanging over the bookcase. + +"Perhaps you've lived in Italy?" she asked. + +Miss Prescott started slightly. "No," she said; "but I've spent some +time there." + +"That picture of Amalfi, up there, made me think of it. Olivia Copeland, +you know, lives near there, at Sorrento." + +A gleam of interest flashed into Miss Prescott's eye. + +"That's how I first came to notice her," continued Patty; "but she +didn't interest me so much until I talked to her. It seems that her +father is an artist, and she was born in Italy, and has only visited +America once when she was a little girl. Her mother is dead, and she and +her father live in an old villa on that road along the coast leading to +Sorrento. She has never had any girl friends; just her father's +friends--artists and diplomats and people like that. She speaks Italian, +and she knows all about Italian art and politics and the church and the +agrarian laws and how the people are taxed; and all the peasants around +Sorrento are her friends. She is so homesick that she nearly dies, and +the only person here that she can talk to about the things she is +interested in is the peanut man down-town. + +[Illustration: Olivia Copeland] + +"The girls she rooms with are just nice exuberant American girls, and +are interested in golf and basket-ball and Welsh rabbit and Richard +Harding Davis stories and Gibson pictures--and she never even _heard_ of +any of them until four months ago. She has a water-color sketch of the +villa, that her father did. It's white stucco, you know, with terraces +and marble balustrades and broken statues, and a grove of ilex-trees +with a fountain in the center. Just think of _belonging_ to a place like +that, Miss Prescott, and then being suddenly plunged into a place like +this without any friends or any one who even knows about the things you +know--think how lonely you would be!" + +Patty leaned forward with flushed cheeks, carried away by her own +eloquence. "You know what Italy's like. It's a sort of disease. If you +once get fond of it you'll never forget it, and you just can't be happy +till you get back. And with Olivia it's her home, besides. She's never +known anything else. And it's hard at first to keep your mind on +mathematics when you're dreaming all the time of ilex groves and +fountains and nightingales and--and things like that." + +She finished lamely, for Miss Prescott suddenly leaned back in the +shadow, and it seemed to Patty that her face had grown pale and the hand +that held the magazine trembled. + +Patty flushed uncomfortably and tried to think what she had said. She +was always saying things that hurt people's feelings without meaning to. +Suddenly that old story from her freshman year flashed into her mind. He +had been an artist and had lived in Italy and had died of Roman fever; +and Miss Prescott had gone to Germany to study mathematics, and had +never cared for anything else since. It sounded rather made up, but it +might be true. Had she stumbled on a forbidden subject? she wondered +miserably. She had, of course; it was just her way. + +The silence was becoming unbearable; she struggled to think of something +to say, but nothing came, and she rose abruptly. + +"I'm sorry to have taken so much of your time, Miss Prescott. I hope I +haven't bored you. Good night." + +Miss Prescott rose and took Patty's hand. "Good night, my dear, and +thank you for coming to me. I am glad to know of Olivia Copeland. I will +see what can be done about her geometry, and I shall be glad, besides, +to know her as--as a friend; for I, too, once cared for Italy." + +Patty closed the door softly and tiptoed home through the dim corridors. + +"Did you bring the matches?" called a sleepy voice from Priscilla's +bedroom. + +Patty started. "Oh, the matches!" she laughed. "No; I forgot them." + +"I never knew you to accomplish anything yet that you started out to do, +Patty Wyatt." + +"I've accomplished something to-night, just the same," Patty retorted, +with a little note of triumph in her voice; "but I haven't an idea how +I happened to do it," she added frankly to herself. + +And she went to bed and fell asleep, quite unaware of how much she _had_ +accomplished; for unconsciously she had laid the foundation of a +friendship which was to make happy the future of a lonely freshman and +an equally lonely instructor. + + + + +XI + +"Local Color" + + +The third senior table had discovered a new amusement with which to +enlighten the tedium of waiting while Maggie was in the kitchen foraging +for food. The game was called "local color," in honor of Patty Wyatt's +famous definition in English class, "Local color is that which makes a +lie seem truthful." The object of the game was to see who could tell the +biggest lie without being found out; and the one rule required that the +victims be disillusionized before they left the table. + +Patty was the instigator, the champion player, and the final victim of +the game. Baron Münchhausen himself would have blushed at some of her +creations, and her stories were told with such an air of ingenuous +honesty that the most outrageous among them obtained credence. + +The game in its original conception may have been innocent enough, but +the rule was not always as carefully observed as it should have been, +and the most unaccountable scandals began to float about college. The +president of "Christians" had been called up for cutting chapel. The +shark of the class had flunked her ethics, and even failed to get +through on the "re." Cathy Fair was an own cousin of Professor +Hitchcock's, and called him "Tommy" to his face. These, and far worse, +were becoming public property; and even personal fabrications in regard +to the faculty, intended solely for undergraduate consumption, were +reaching the ears of the faculty themselves. + +One day Patty dropped into an under-classman's room on some committee +work, and she found the children, in the manner of their elders, +regaling themselves on dainty bits of college gossip. + +"I heard the funniest thing about Professor Winters yesterday," piped +up a sophomore. + +"Tell it to us. What was it?" cried a chorus of voices. + +"I'd like to hear something funny about Professor Winters; he's the +solemnest-looking man I ever saw," remarked a freshman. + +"Well," resumed the sophomore, "it seems he was going to get married +last week, and the invitations were all out, and the presents all there, +when the bride came down with the mumps." + +"Really? How funny!" came in a chorus from the delighted auditors. + +"Yes--on both sides; and the clergyman had never had it, so the ceremony +had to be postponed." + +Patty's blood froze. She recognized the tale. It was one of her own +offspring, only shorn of its unessential adornments. + +"Where in the world did you hear any such absurd thing as that?" she +demanded severely. + +"I heard Lucille Carter tell it at a fudge party up in Bonnie +Connaught's room last night," answered the sophomore, stoutly, sure that +the source was a reputable one. + +Patty groaned. "And I suppose that every blessed one of that dozen girls +has told it to another dozen by this time, and that it's only bounded by +the boundaries of the campus. Well, there's not a word of truth in it. +Lucille Carter doesn't know what she is talking about. That's a likely +story, isn't it?" she added with fine scorn. "Does Professor Winters +look like a man who'd ever dare propose to a girl, let alone marry her?" +And she stalked out of the room and up to the single where Lucille +lived. + +"Lucille," said Patty, "what do you mean by spreading that story about +Professor Winters's bride's mumps?" + +"You told it to me yourself," answered Lucille, with some warmth. She +was a believing creature with an essentially literal mind, and she had +always been out of her element in the lofty imaginative realms of local +color. + +"I told it to you!" said Patty, indignantly. "You goose, you don't mean +to tell me you believed it? I was just playing local color." + +"How should I know that? You told it as if it were true." + +"Of course," said Patty; "that's the game. You wouldn't have believed me +if I hadn't." + +"But you never said it wasn't true. You don't follow the rule." + +"I didn't think it was necessary. I never supposed any one would believe +any such absurd story as that." + +"I don't see how it was my fault." + +"Of course it was your fault. You shouldn't be spreading malicious tales +about the faculty; it's irreverent. The story's all over college by this +time, and Professor Winters has probably heard it himself. He'll flunk +you on the finals to pay for it; see if he doesn't." And Patty went +home, leaving a conscience-smitten and thoroughly indignant Lucille +behind her. + + * * * * * + +ABOUT a month before the introduction of local color, Patty had entered +upon a new activity, which she referred to impartially as "molding +public opinion" and "elevating the press." The way of it was this: + +The college, which was a modest and retiring institution craving only to +be unmolested in its atmosphere of academic calm, had been recently +exploited by a sensational newspaper. The fact that none of the stories +was true did not mitigate the annoyance. The college was besieged by +reporters who had heard rumors and wished to have them corroborated for +exclusive publication in the "Censor" or "Advertiser" or "Star." And +they would also like a photograph of Miss Bentley as she appeared in the +character of Portia; and since she refused to give it to them, they +stated their intention of "faking" one, which, they gallantly assured +her, would be far homelier than the original. + +The climax was reached when Bonnie Connaught was unfortunate enough to +sprain her ankle in basket-ball. Something more than a life-size +portrait of her, clothed in a masculine-looking sweater, with a +basket-ball under her arm, appeared in a New York evening paper, and +scare-heads three inches high announced in red ink that the champion +athlete and most popular society girl in college was at death's door, +owing to injuries received in basket-ball. + +Bonnie's eminently respectable family descended upon the college in an +indignant body for the purpose of taking her home, and were with +difficulty soothed by an equally indignant faculty. The alumnæ wrote +that in their day such brutal games as basket-ball had not been +countenanced, and that they feared the college had deteriorated. Parents +wrote that they would remove their daughters from college if they were +to be subjected to such publicity; and the poor president was, of +course, quite helpless before the glorious American privilege of free +speech. + +Finally the college hit upon a partially protective measure--that of +furnishing its own news; and a regularly organized newspaper corps was +formed among the students, with a member of the faculty at the head. The +more respectable of the papers were very glad to have a correspondent +from the inside whose facts needed no investigation, and the less +respectable in due time betook themselves to more fruitful fields of +scandal and happily forgot the existence of the college. + +Patty, having the reputation of being an "English shark," had been duly +empaneled and presented with a local paper. At first she had been filled +with a fit sense of the responsibility of the position, and had +conscientiously neglected her college work for its sake; but in time the +novelty wore off, and her weekly budgets became more and more +perfunctory in character. + +The choice of Patty for this particular paper perhaps had not been very +far-sighted, for the editor wished a column a week of what he designated +as "chatty news," whereas it would have been wiser to have given her a +city paper which required only a brief statement of important facts. +Patty's own tendencies, it must be confessed, had a slightly yellow +tinge, and, with a delighted editor egging her on, it was hard for her +to suppress her latent love for "local color." The paper, however, had a +wide circulation among the faculty, which circumstance tended to have a +chastening effect. + +The day following Patty's bride-with-the-mumps contretemps with Lucille +happened to be Friday, and she was painfully engaged in her weekly +molding of public opinion. It had been a barren week, and there was +nothing to write about. + +She reviewed at length a set of French encyclopedias which had been +given to the library, and spoke with enthusiasm of a remarkable +collection of jaw-bones of the prehistoric cow which had been presented +to the department of paleontology. She gave in full the list of the +seventeen girls who had been honored with scholarships, laboriously +writing out their full names, with "Miss" attached to each, and the name +of the town and the State in its unabbreviated length. And still it only +mounted up to ten pages, and it took eighteen of Patty's writing to make +a column. + +She strolled down to examine the bulletin-board again, and discovered a +new notice which she had overlooked before: + + Friday, January 17. Professor James Harkner Wallis + of the Lick Observatory will lecture in the + auditorium, at eight o'clock, upon "Theories of + the Sidereal System." + +Patty regarded the notice without emotion. It did not look capable of +expansion, and she did not feel the remotest interest in the sidereal +system. The brief account of the lecturer, however, which was appended +to the notice, stated that Professor Wallis was one of the best known of +living astronomers, and that he had conducted important original +investigations. + +"If I knew anything about astronomy," she thought desperately, "I might +be able to spread him out over two pages." + +An acquaintance of Patty's strolled up to the bulletin-board. + +"Did you ever hear of that man?" asked Patty, pointing to the notice. + +"Never; but I'm not an astronomer." + +"I'm not, either," said Patty. "I wonder who he is?" she added +wistfully. "It seems he's very famous, and I'd really like to know +something about him." + +The girl opened her eyes in some surprise at this thirst for gratuitous +information; it did not accord with Patty's reputation: and ever after, +when it was affirmed in her presence that Patty Wyatt was brilliant but +superficial, she stoutly maintained that Patty was deeper than people +thought. She pondered a moment, and then returned, "Lucille Carter takes +astronomy; she could tell you about him." + +"So she does. I'd forgotten it"; and Patty swung off toward Lucille's +room. + +She found a number of girls sitting around on the various pieces of +furniture, eating fudge and discussing the tragedies of one Maeterlinck. + +"What's this?" said Patty. "A party?" + +"Oh, no," said Lucille; "just an extra session of the Dramatic Theory +class. Don't be afraid; there's your room-mate up on the window-seat." + +"Hello, Pris. What are you doing here?" said Patty, dipping out some +fudge with a spoon. (There had been a disagreement as to how long it +should boil.) + +"Just paying a social call. What are you doing? I thought you were going +to hurry up and get through so you could go down-town to dinner." + +"I am," said Patty, vaguely; "but I got lonely." + +The conversation drifting off to Maeterlinck again, she seized the +opportunity to inquire of Lucille: "Who's this astronomy man that's +going to lecture to-night? He's quite famous, isn't he?" + +"Very," said Lucille. "Professor Phelps has been talking about him every +day for the last week." + +"Where's the Lick Observatory, anyway?" pursued Patty. "I can't +remember, for the life of me, whether it's in California or on Pike's +Peak." + +Lucille considered a moment. "It's in Dublin, Ireland." + +"Dublin, Ireland?" asked Patty, in some surprise. "I could have sworn +that it was in California. Are you sure you know where it is, Lucille?" + +"Of course I'm sure. Haven't we been having it for three days steady? +California! You must be crazy, Patty. I think you'd better elect +astronomy." + +"I know it," said Patty, meekly. "I was going to, but I heard that it +was terribly hard, and I thought senior year you have a right to take +something a little easy. But, you know, that's the funniest thing about +the Lick Observatory, for I really know a lot about it--read an article +on it just a little while ago; and I don't know how I got the +impression, but I was almost sure it was in the United States. It just +shows that you can never be sure of anything." + +"No," said Lucille; "it isn't safe." + +"Is it connected with Dublin University?" asked Patty. + +"I believe so," said Lucille. + +"And this astronomy person," continued Patty, warming to her work--"I +suppose he's an Irishman, then." + +"Of course," said Lucille. "He's very noted." + +"What's he done?" asked Patty. "It said on the bulletin-board he'd made +some important discoveries. I suppose, though, they're frightful +technicalities that no one ever heard of." + +"Well," said Lucille, considering, "he discovered the rings of Saturn +and the Milky Way." + +"The rings of Saturn! Why, I thought those had been discovered _ages_ +ago. He must be a terribly old man. I remember reading about them when +I was an infant in arms." + +"It was a good while ago," said Lucille. "Eight or nine years, at +least." + +"And the Milky Way!" continued Patty, with a show of incredulity. "I +don't see how people could have helped discovering that long ago. I +could have done it myself, and I don't pretend to know anything about +astronomy." + +"Oh, of course," Lucille hastened to explain, "the phenomenon had been +observed before, but had never been accounted for." + +"I see," said Patty, surreptitiously taking notes. "He must really be an +awfully important man. How did he happen to do all this?" + +"He went up in a balloon," said Lucille, vaguely. + +"A balloon! What fun!" exclaimed Patty, her reportorial instinct waking +to the scent. "They use balloons a lot more in Europe than they do +here." + +"I believe he has his balloon with him here in America," said Lucille. +"He never travels without it." + +"What's the good of it?" inquired Patty. "I suppose," she continued, +furnishing her own explanation, "it gets him such a lot nearer to the +stars." + +"That's without doubt the reason," said Lucille. + +"I wish he'd send it up here," sighed Patty. "Do you know any more +interesting details about him?" + +"N--no," said Lucille; "I can't think of any more at present." + +"He's certainly the most interesting professor I ever heard of," said +Patty, "and it's strange I never heard of him before." + +"There seem to be a good many things you have never heard of," observed +Lucille. + +"Yes," acknowledged Patty; "there are." + +"Well, Patty," said Priscilla, emerging from the discussion on the other +side of the room, "if you're going to dinner with me, you'd better stop +fooling with Lucille, and go home and get your work done." + +"Very well," said Patty, rising with obliging promptitude. "Good-by, +girls. Come and see me and I'll give you some fudge that's done. Thank +you for the information," she called back to Lucille. + + * * * * * + +THE Monday afternoon following, Patty and Priscilla, with two or three +other girls, came strolling back from the lake, jingling their skates +over their arms. + +"Come in, girls, and have some hot tea," said Priscilla, as they reached +the study door. + +"Here's a note for Patty," said Bonnie Connaught, picking up an envelop +from the table. "Terribly official-looking. Must have come in the +college mail. Open it, Patty, and let's see what you've flunked." + +"Dear me!" said Patty, "I thought that was a habit I'd outgrown freshman +year." + +They crowded around and read the note over her shoulder. Patty had no +secrets. + + THE OBSERVATORY, January 20. + Miss Patty Wyatt. + + DEAR MISS WYATT: I am informed that you are the + correspondent for the "Saturday Evening + Post-Despatch," and I take the liberty of calling + your attention to a rather grave error which + occurred in last week's issue. You stated that the + Lick Observatory is in Dublin, Ireland, while, as + is a matter of general information, it is situated + near San Francisco, California. Professor James + Harkner Wallis is not an Irishman; he is an + American. Though he has carried on some very + important investigations, he is the discoverer of + neither the rings of Saturn nor the Milky Way. + + Very truly yours, + HOWARD D. PHELPS. + +"It's from Professor Phelps--what can he mean?" said the Twin, in +bewilderment. + +"Oh, Patty," groaned Priscilla, "you don't mean to say that you actually +believed all that stuff?" + +"Of course I believed it. How could I know she was lying?" + +"She wasn't lying. Don't use such reckless language." + +"I'd like to know what you call it, then?" said Patty, angrily. + +"Local color, my dear, just local color. The worm will turn, you know." + +"Why didn't you tell me?" wailed Patty. + +"Never supposed for a moment you believed her. Thought you were joking +all the time." + +"What's the matter, Patty? What have you done?" the others demanded, +divided between a pardonable feeling of curiosity and a sense that they +ought to retire before this domestic tragedy. + +"Oh, tell them," said Patty, bitterly. "Tell every one you see. Shout it +from the dome of the observatory. You might as well; it'll be all over +college in a couple of hours." + +Priscilla explained, and as she explained the funny side began to strike +her. By the time she had finished they were all--except Patty--reduced +to hysterics. + +"The poor editor," gurgled Priscilla. "He's always after a scoop, and +he's certainly got one this time." + +"Where is it, Patty--the paper?" gasped Bonnie. + +"I threw it away," said Patty, sulkily. + +Priscilla rummaged it out of the waste-basket, and the four bent over it +delightedly. + + Ireland's eminent astronomer spending a few weeks + in America lecturing at the principal + colleges--His famous discovery of the rings of + Saturn made during a balloon ascension three + thousand feet in the air--Though this is his first + visit to the States, he speaks with only a slight + brogue--Loyal son of old Erin + +"Patty, Patty! And you, of all people, to be so gullible!" + +"Professor James Harkner Wallis's parents will be writing to Prexy next +to say that their son can't lecture here any more if he is to be +subjected to this sort of thing." + +"It's disgusting!" said Bonnie Connaught, feelingly. + +"When you've got through laughing, I wish you'd tell me what to do." + +"Tell Professor Phelps it was a slip of the pen." + +"A slip of the pen to the extent of half a column is good," said the +Twin. + +"I think you girls are beastly to laugh when I am probably being +expelled this minute." + +"Faculty meeting doesn't come till four," said Bonnie. + +Patty sat down by the desk and buried her head in her arms. + +"Patty," said Priscilla, "you aren't crying, are you?" + +"No," said Patty, savagely; "I'm thinking." + +"You will never think of anything that will explain that." + +Patty looked up with the air of one who has received an inspiration. +"I'm going to tell him the truth." + +"Don't do anything so rash," pleaded the Twin. + +"That is, of course, the only thing you can do," said Priscilla. "Sit +down and write him a note, and I'll promise not to laugh till you get +through." + +Patty stood up. "I think," she said, "I'll go and see him." + +"Oh, no. Write him a note. It's loads easier." + +"No," said Patty, with dignity; "I think I owe him a personal +explanation. Is my hair all right? If you girls reveal this to a single +person before I come back, I'll not tell you a thing he says," she added +as she closed the door. + +Patty returned half an hour later, just as they were finally settling +down to tea. She peered around the darkening room; finding only four +expectant faces, she leisurely seated herself on a cushion on the floor +and stretched out her hand for a steaming cup. + +"What did he say? What kept you so long?" + +"Oh, I stopped in the office to change my electives, and it delayed me." + +"You don't mean to tell me that man made you elect astronomy?" +Priscilla asked indignantly. + +"Certainly not," said Patty. "I shouldn't have done it if he had." + +"Oh, Patty, I know you like to tease, but I think it's odious. You know +we're in suspense. Tell us what happened." + +"Well," said Patty, placidly gathering her skirts about her, "I told him +exactly how it was. I didn't hide anything--not even the bride with the +mumps." + +"Was he cross, or did he laugh?" + +"He laughed," said Patty, "till I thought he was going to fall off his +chair, and I looked anxiously around for some water and a call-bell. He +really has a surprising sense of humor for a member of the faculty." + +"Was he nice?" + +"Yes," said Patty; "he was a dear. When he got through discussing +Universal Truth, I asked him if I might elect astronomy, and he said I +would find it pretty hard the second semester; but I told him I was +willing to work, and he said I really showed a remarkable aptitude for +explaining phenomena, and that if I were in earnest he would be glad to +have me in the class." + +"I think a man as forgiving as that _ought_ to be elected," said +Priscilla. + +"You certainly have more courage than I gave you credit for," said +Bonnie. "I never could have gone over and explained to that man in the +wide world." + +Patty smiled discreetly. "When you have to explain to a woman," she said +in the tone of one who is stating a natural law, "it is better to write +a note; but when it is a man, always explain in person." + + + + +XII + +The Exigencies of Etiquette + + +"If I had been the one to invent etiquette," said Patty, "I should have +made party calls payable one year after date, and then should have +allowed three days' grace at the end." + +"In which case," said Priscilla, "I suppose you would get out of calling +on Mrs. Millard altogether." + +"Exactly," said Patty. + +Mrs. Millard--more familiarly referred to as Mrs. Prexy--annually +invited the seniors to dinner in parties of ten. Patty, whose turn had +come a short time before, owing to an untoward misfortune, had been in +the infirmary at the time; but, though she had missed the fun, she now +found it necessary to pay the call. + +"Of course," she resumed, "I can see why you should be expected to call +if you attend the function and partake of the food; but what I _can't_ +understand is why a peaceable citizen who desires only to gang his ain +gait should, upon the reception of an entirely unsolicited invitation, +suddenly find it incumbent upon him to put on his best dress and his +best hat and gloves in order to call upon people he barely knows." + +"Your genders," said Priscilla, "are a trifle mixed." + +"That," said Patty, "is the fault of the language. The logic, I think, +you will find correct. You can see what would happen," she pursued, "if +you carry it out to its logical conclusion. Suppose, for instance, that +every woman I have ever met in this town should suddenly take it into +her head to invite me to a dinner. Here I--perfectly unsuspicious and +innocent of any evil, because of a purely arbitrary law which I did not +help to make--would not only have to sit down and write a hundred +regrets, but would have to pay a hundred calls within the next two +weeks. It makes me shudder to think of it!" + +"I don't believe you need worry about it, Patty; of course we know +you're popular, but you're not as popular as that." + +"No," said Patty; "I didn't mean that I thought I really _should_ get +that many invitations. It's only that one is open to the constant +danger." + +During the progress of this conversation Georgie Merriles had been +lounging on the couch by the window, reading the "Merchant of Venice" in +a critically unimpassioned way that the instructor in Dramatic Theory +could not have praised too much. The room finally having become too dark +for reading, she threw down the book with something like a yawn. "It +would have been a joke on Portia," she remarked, "if Bassanio had chosen +the wrong casket"; and she turned her attention to the campus outside. +Groups of girls were coming along the path from the lake, and the sound +of their voices, mingled with laughter and the jingling of skates, +floated up through the gathering dusk. Across the stretches of snow and +bare trees lights were beginning to twinkle in the other dormitories, +while nearer at hand, and more clearly visible, rose the irregular +outline of the president's house. + +"Patty," said Georgie, with her nose against the pane, "if you really +want to get that call out of the way, now's your chance. Mrs. Millard +has just gone out." + +Patty dashed into her bedroom and began jerking out bureau drawers. +"Priscilla," she called in an agonized tone, "do you remember where I +keep my cards?" + +"It's ten minutes of six, Patty; you can't go now." + +"Yes, I can. It doesn't matter what time it is, so long as she's out. +I'll go just as I am." + +"Not in a golf-cape!" + +Patty hesitated an instant. "Well," she admitted, "I suppose the butler +might tell her. I'll put on a hat"--this with the air of one who is +making a really great concession. Some more banging of bureau drawers, +and she appeared in a black velvet hat trimmed with lace, with the brown +jacket of her suit over her red blouse, and a blue golf-skirt and very +muddy boots showing below. + +"Patty, you're a disgrace to the room!" cried Priscilla. "Do you mean to +tell me that you are going to Mrs. Millard's in a short skirt and those +awful skating-shoes?" + +"The butler won't look at my feet; I'm so beautiful above"; and Patty +banged the door behind her. + +Georgie and Priscilla flattened themselves against the window to watch +the progress of the call. + +"Look," gasped Priscilla. "There's Mrs. Millard going in at the back +door." + +"And there's Patty. My, but she looks funny!" + +"Call her back," cried Priscilla, wildly trying to open the window. + +"Let her alone," laughed Georgie; "it will be such fun to gloat over +her." + +The window came up with a jerk. "Patty! Patty!" shrieked Priscilla. + +Patty turned and waved her hand airily. "Can't stop now--will be back in +a moment"; and she sped on around the corner. + +The two stood watching the house for several minutes, vaguely expecting +an explosion of some sort to occur. But nothing happened. Patty was +swallowed as if by the grave, and the house gave no sign. They +accordingly shrugged their shoulders and dressed for dinner with the +philosophy which a life fraught with alarms and surprises gives. + + * * * * * + +DINNER was half over, and the table had finished discussing Patty's +demise, when that young lady trailed placidly in, smiled on the +expectant faces, and inquired what kind of soup they had had. + +"Bean soup; it wasn't any good," said Georgie, impatiently. "What +happened? Did you have a nice call?" + +"No, Maggie, I don't care for any soup to-night. Just bring me some +steak, please." + +"Patty!" in a pleading chorus, "what happened?" + +"Oh, I beg your pardon," said Patty, sweetly. "Yes, thank you, I had a +very pleasant call. May I trouble you for the bread, Lucille?" + +"Patty, I think you're obnoxious," said Georgie. "Tell us what +happened." + +"Well," began Patty, in a leisurely manner, "I said to the butler, 'Is +Mrs. Millard in?' and he said to me (without even a smile), 'I am not +sure, miss; will you please step into the drawing-room and I'll see.' I +was going to tell him that he needn't bother, as I knew she was out; but +I thought that perhaps it would look a little better if I waited and let +him find out for himself. So I walked in and sat down in a +pink-and-white embroidered _Louis-Quatorze_ chair. There was a big +mirror in front of me, and I had plenty of time to study the effect, +which, I will acknowledge, was a trifle mixed." + +"A trifle," Georgie assented. + +"I was beginning," pursued Patty, "to feel nervous for fear some of the +family might drop in, when the man came back and said, 'Mrs. Millard +will be down in a minute.' + +"If I had seen you at that moment, Georgie Merriles, there would have +been battle, murder, and sudden death. My first thought was of flight; +but the man was guarding the door, and Mrs. Prexy had my card. While I +was frenziedly trying to think of a valid excuse for my costume the lady +came in, and I rose and greeted her graciously, one might almost say +gushingly. I talked very fast and tried to hypnotize her, so that she +would keep her eyes on my face; but it was no use: I saw them traveling +downward, and pretty soon I knew by the amused expression that they had +arrived at my shoes. + +"Concealment was no longer possible," pursued Patty, warming to her +subject. "I threw myself upon her mercy and confessed the whole damning +truth. What kind of ice-cream is that?" she demanded, leaning forward +and gazing anxiously after a passing maid. "_Don't_ tell me they're +giving us raspberry again!" + +"No; it's vanilla. Go on, Patty." + +"Well, where was I?" + +"You'd just told her the truth." + +"Oh, yes. She said she'd always wanted to meet the college girls +informally and know them just as they are, and she was very glad of this +opportunity. And there I sat, looking like a kaleidoscope and feeling +like a fool, and she taking it for granted that I was being perfectly +natural. Complimentary, wasn't it? At this point dinner was announced, +and she invited me to stay--quite insisted, in fact, to make up, she +said, for the one I had missed when I was ill in the infirmary." Patty +looked around the table with a reminiscent smile. + +"What did you say? Did you refuse?" asked Lucille. + +"No; I accepted, and am over there at present, eating _pâté de foie +gras_." + +"No, really, Patty; what did you say?" + +"Well," said Patty, "I told her that this was ice-cream night at the +college, and that I sort of hated to miss it; but that to-morrow would +be mutton night, which I didn't mind missing in the least; so if she +would just as leave transfer her invitation, I would accept for +to-morrow with pleasure." + +"Patty," exclaimed Lucille, in a horrified tone, "you didn't say that!" + +"Just a little local color, Lucille," laughed Priscilla. + +"But," objected Lucille, "we'd promised not to play local color any +more." + +"Have you not learned," said Priscilla, "that Patty can no more live +without local color than she can live without food? It's ingrained in +her nature." + +"Never mind," said Patty, good-naturedly; "you may not believe me now, +but to-morrow night, when I'm all dressed up in beautiful clothes, +swapping stories with Prexy and eating lobster salad, while you are over +here having mutton, _then_ maybe you'll be sorry." + + + + +XIII + +A Crash Without + + +"I love the smell of powder," said Patty. + +"Gunpowder or baking-powder?" + +As Patty at the moment had her nose buried in a box of face-powder she +thought it unnecessary to answer. + +"It brings back my youth," she pursued. "The best times of my life have +been mixed up with powder and rouge--Washington's Birthday nights, and +minstrel shows, and masquerades, and plays at boarding-school, and even +Mother Goose tableaux when I was a--" + +Patty's reminiscences were interrupted by Georgie, who was anxiously +pacing up and down the wings. "It's queer some of the cast don't come. I +told them to be here early, so we could get them all made up and not +have a rush at the end." + +"Oh, there's time enough," said Patty, comfortably. "It isn't seven yet, +and if they're going to dress in their rooms it won't take any time over +here just to make them up and put on their wigs. It's a comparatively +small cast, you see. Now, on the night of the Trig. ceremonies, when we +had to make up three whole ballets and only had one box of make-up, we +_were_ rushed. I thought I'd never live to see the curtain go down. Do +you remember the suit of chain-mail we made for Bonnie Connaught out of +wire dish-cloths? It took sixty-three, and the ten-cent store was +terribly dubious about renting them to us; and then, after working every +spare second for three days over the thing, we found, the last minute, +that we hadn't left a big enough hole for her to get into, and--" + +"Oh, do keep still, Patty," said Georgie, nervously; "I can't remember +what I have to do when you talk all the time." + +A manager on the eve of producing a new play, with his reputation at +stake, may be excused for being a trifle irritable. Patty merely +shrugged her shoulders and descended through the stage-door to the +half-lighted hall, where she found Cathy Fair strolling up and down the +center aisle in an apparently aimless manner. + +"Hello, Cathy," said Patty; "what are you doing over here?" + +"I'm head usher, and I wanted to see if those foolish sophomores had +mixed up the numbers again." + +"It strikes me they're a trifle close together," said Patty, sitting +down and squeezing in her knees. + +"Yes, I know; but you can't get eight hundred people into this hall any +other way. When we once get them packed they'll have to sit still, +that's all. What are you doing over here yourself?" she continued. "I +didn't know you were on the committee. Or are you just helping +Georgie?" + +"I'm in the cast," said Patty. + +"Oh, are you? I saw the program to-day, but I'd forgotten it. I've often +wondered why you haven't been in any of the class plays." + +"Fortune and the faculty are against it," sighed Patty. "You see, they +didn't discover my histrionic ability before examinations freshman year, +and after examinations, when I was asked to be in the play, the faculty +thought I could spend the time to better advantage studying Greek. At +the time of the sophomore play I was on something else and couldn't +serve, and this year I had just been deprived of my privileges for +coming back late after Christmas." + +"But I thought you said you were in it?" + +"Oh," said Patty, "it's a minor part, and my name doesn't appear." + +"What sort of a part is it?" + +"I'm a crash." + +"A crash?" + +"Yes, 'a crash without.' Lord Bromley says, 'Cynthia, I will brave all +for your sake. I will follow you to the ends of the earth.' At this +point a crash is heard without. I," said Patty, proudly, "am the crash. +I sit behind a moonlit balcony in a space about two feet square, and +drop a lamp-chimney into a box. It may not sound like a very important +part, but it is the pivot upon which the whole plot turns." + +"I hope you won't be taken with stage-fright," laughed Cathy. + +"I'll try not," said Patty. "There comes the butler and Lord Bromley and +Cynthia. I've got to go and make them up." + +"Why are you making people up, if you are not on the committee?" + +"Oh, once, during a period of mental weakness, I took china-painting +lessons, and I'm supposed to know how. Good-by." + +"Good-by. If you get any flowers I'll send them in by an usher." + +"Do," said Patty. "I'm sure to get a lot." + +Behind the scenes all was joyful confusion. Georgie, in a short skirt, +with her shirt-waist sleeves rolled up and a note-book in her hand, was +standing in the middle of the stage directing the scene-shifters and +distracted committee. Patty, in the "green-room," was presiding over the +cast, with a hare's foot in one hand and the other daubed with red and +blue grease-paints. + +"Oh, Patty," remonstrated Cynthia, with a horrified glance in the +mirror, "I look more like a soubrette than a heroine." + +"That's the way you ought to look," returned Patty. "Here, hold still +till I put another dab on your chin." + +Cynthia appealed to the faithful Lord Bromley, who was sitting in the +background, politely letting the ladies go first. "Look, Bonnie, don't +you think I'm too red? I know it'll all come off when you kiss me." + +"If it comes off as easily as that, you'll be more fortunate than most +of the people I make up"; and Patty smiled knowingly as she remembered +how Priscilla had soaked half the night on the occasion of a previous +play, and then had appeared at breakfast the next morning with lowering +eyebrows and a hectic flush on each cheek. "You must remember that +foot-lights take a lot of color," she explained condescendingly. "You'd +look ghastly if I let you go the way you wanted to at first. Next! + +"No," said Patty, as the butler presented himself; "you don't come till +the second act. I'll take the Irate Parent first." The Irate Parent was +dragged from a corner where he had been anxiously mumbling over his +lines. "What's the matter?" asked Patty, as she began daubing in +wrinkles with a liberal hand; "are you afraid?" + +"N-no," said the Parent; "I'm not afraid, only I'm afraid that I will be +afraid." + +"You'd just better change your mind, then," said Patty, sternly. "We +aren't going to allow any stage-fright to-night." + +"Patty, you can manage Georgie Merriles; make her let me go on without +any wig," cried Cynthia, returning and holding up to view a mass of +yellow curls of a shade that was never produced in the course of nature. + +Patty looked at the wig critically. "It is, perhaps, a trifle golden for +the part." + +"Golden!" said Cynthia. "It's positively _orange_. Wait till you see how +it lights up. He calls me his dark-eyed beauty: and I'm sure no one with +dark eyes, or any other kind of eyes, would have hair like that. My own +looks a great deal better." + +"Why don't you wear your own, then? Wrinkle up your forehead, Parent, +and let me see which way they run." + +"Georgie paid two dollars for renting it, and she's bound to get the +money's worth of wear out of it, even if she makes me look like a fright +and spoils the play." + +"Nonsense," said Patty, pushing away the Parent and giving her undivided +attention to the question. "Your own hair does look better. Just mislay +the wig and keep out of Georgie's way till the curtain goes up. The +audience are beginning to come," she announced to the room in general, +"and you've got to keep still back there. You're making an awful racket, +and they can hear you all over the house. Here, what are you making such +a noise for?" she demanded of Lord Bromley, who came clumping up with +footfalls which reverberated through the flies. + +"I can't help it," he said crossly. "Look at these boots. They're so big +that I can step out of them without unlacing them." + +"It's not my fault. I haven't anything to do with the costumes." + +"I know it; but what can I do?" + +"Never mind," said Patty, soothingly; "they don't look so awfully bad. +You'll have to try and walk without raising your feet." + +She went out on the stage, where Georgie was giving her last directions +to the scene-shifters. "The minute the curtain goes down on the first +act change this forest to the drawing-room scene, and don't make any +noise hammering. If you have to hammer, do it while the orchestra's +playing. How does it look?" she asked anxiously, turning to Patty. + +"Beautiful," said Patty. "I'd scarcely recognize it." + +The "forest scene" had served in every outdoor capacity for the last +four years, and it was usually hailed with a groan on the part of the +audience. + +"I was just coming in to see if the cast were ready," said Georgie. + +"They're all made up, and are sitting in the green-room getting +stage-fright. What shall I do now?" + +"Let me see," said Georgie, consulting her book. "One of the committee +is to prompt, one is to stay with the men and see that they manage the +curtain and the lights in the right places, one is to give the cues, and +two are to help change costumes. Cynthia has to change from a +riding-habit to a ball-gown in four minutes. I think you'd better help +her, too." + +"Anything you please," said Patty, obligingly. "I'll stand on a stool +with the ball-gown in the air ready to drop it over her head the moment +she appears, like a harness on a fire-horse. Is everything out here +done? What time is it?" + +"Yes; everything's done, and it's five minutes of eight. We can begin as +soon as the audience is ready." + +They peered through the folds of the heavy velvet curtain at the sea of +faces in front. Eight hundred girls in light evening-gowns were talking +and laughing and singing. Snatches of song would start up in one corner +and sweep gaily over the house, and sometimes two would meet and clash +in the center, to the horror of those who preferred harmony to volume. + +"Here come the old girls!" said Patty, as a procession of some fifty +filed into reserved seats near the front. "There are loads of last +year's class back. What are the juniors doing? Look; I believe they are +going to serenade them." + +The juniors rose in a body, and, turning to their departed sister class, +sang a song notable for its sentiment rather than its meter. + +"I do hope it will be a success," sighed Georgie. "If it doesn't come up +to last year's senior play I shall _die_." + +"Oh, it will," said Patty, reassuringly. "Anything would be better than +that." + +"Now the glee club's going to sing two songs," said Georgie. "Thank +heaven, they're new!" she added fervently. "And the orchestra plays an +overture, and then the curtain goes up. Run and tell them to come out +here, ready for the first act." + +Lord Bromley was standing in the wings disgustedly viewing the +banquet-table. "See here, Patty," he called as she hurried past. "Look +at this stuff Georgie Merriles has palmed off on us for wine. You can't +expect me to drink any such dope as _that_." + +Patty paused for an instant. "What's the matter with it?" she inquired, +pouring out some in a glass and holding it up to the light. + +"Matter? It's made of currant jelly and water, with cold tea mixed in." + +"I made it myself," said Patty, with some dignity. "It's a beautiful +color." + +"But I have to drain my glass at a draught," expostulated the outraged +lord. + +"I'm sure there's nothing in currant jelly or tea to hurt you. You can +be thankful it isn't poisonous." And Patty hurried on. + +The glee club sang the two new songs, punctuated with the appreciative +applause of a long-suffering audience, and the orchestra commenced the +overture. + +"Everybody clear the stage," said Georgie, in a low tone, "and you keep +your eyes on the book," she added sternly to the prompter; "you lost +your place twice at the dress rehearsal." + +The overture died down; a bell tinkled, and the curtain parted in the +middle, discovering Cynthia sitting on a garden-seat in the castle park +(originally the Forest of Arden). + +As the curtain fell at the end of the act, and the applause gave way to +an excited buzz in the audience, Patty hugged Georgie gleefully. "It's +fifty times better than last year!" + +"Heaven send Theo Granby is out there!" piously ejaculated Georgie. +(Theo Granby had been the chairman of last year's senior play.) + + * * * * * + +THE curtain had risen on the fourth act, and Patty squeezed herself into +the somewhat close quarters behind the balcony. There was +fortunately--or rather unfortunately--a window in the rear of the +building at this point, and Patty opened it and perched herself at one +end of the sill, with the lamp-chimney ready for use at the other end. +The crash was not due for some time, and Patty, having lately elected +astronomy, whiled away the interval by examining the stars. + +On the stage matters were approaching a climax. Lord Bromley was making +an excellent lover, as was proved by the fact that the audience was +taking him seriously instead of laughing through the love scenes as +usual. + +"Cynthia," he implored, "say that you will be mine, and I will brave all +for your sake. I will follow you to the ends of the earth." He gazed +tenderly into her eyes, and waited for the crash. A silence as of the +tomb prevailed, and he continued to gaze tenderly, while a grin rapidly +spread over the audience. + +"Hang Patty!" he murmured savagely. "Might have known she'd do something +like this.--What was that? Did you hear a noise?" he asked aloud. + +"No," said Cynthia, truthfully; "I did not hear anything." + +"Pretend you did," he whispered, and they continued to improvise. After +some five minutes of hopeless floundering, the prompter got them back on +the track again, and the act proceeded, with the audience happily +unaware that anything was missing. + +Ten minutes later Lord Bromley was declaiming: "Cynthia, let us flee +this place. Its dark rooms haunt me; its silence oppresses me--" And the +crash came. + +For the first moment the audience was too startled to notice that the +actors were also taken by surprise. Then Lord Bromley, who was getting +used to emergencies, pulled himself together and ejaculated, "Hark! What +was that sound?" + +"I think it was a crash," said Cynthia. + +He grasped her hand and ran back toward the balcony. "Give us our +lines," he said to the prompter, as he went past. + +The prompter had dropped the book, and couldn't find the place. + +"Make them up," came in a piercing whisper from behind the balcony. + +A silence ensued while the two dashed back and forth, looking excitedly +up and down the stage. Then the despairing Lord Bromley stretched out +his arms in a gesture of supplication. "Cynthia," he burst out in tones +of realistic longing, "I cannot bear this horrible suspense. Let us +flee." And they fled, fully three pages too early, forgetting to leave +the letter which should have apprised the Irate Parent of the +circumstance. + +Georgie was tramping up and down the wings, wringing her hands and +lamenting the day that ever Patty had been born. + +"Hurry up that Parent before they stop clapping," said Lord Bromley, +"and they'll never know the difference." + +The poor old man, with his wig over one ear, was unceremoniously hustled +on to the stage, where he raved up and down and swore never to forgive +his ungrateful daughter in so realistic a manner that the audience +forgot to wonder how he found it out. In due time the runaways returned +from the notary's, overcame the old man's harshness, received the +parental blessing, and the curtain fell on a scene of domestic felicity +that delighted the freshmen in the gallery. + +Patty crawled out from under the balcony and fell on her knees at +Georgie's feet. + +Lord Bromley raised her up. "Never mind, Patty. The audience doesn't +know the difference; and, anyway, it was all for the best. My mustache +wouldn't have stayed on more than two minutes longer." + +They could hear some one shouting in the front, "What's the matter with +Georgie Merriles?" and a hundred voices replied, "She's all right!" + +"Who's all right?" + +"G-e-o-r-g-i-e M-e-r-r-i-l-e-s." + +"What's the matter with the cast?" + +"They're all right!" + +The stage-door burst open and a crowd of congratulatory friends burst in +and gathered around the disheveled actors and committee. "It's the best +senior play since we've been in college." "The freshmen are simply crazy +over it." "Lord Bromley, your room will be full of flowers for a month." +"Patty," called the head usher, over the heads of the others, "let me +congratulate you. I was in the very back of the room, and never heard a +thing but your crash. It sounded _fine_!" + +"Patty," demanded Georgie, "what in the world were you doing?" + +"I was counting the stars," said the contrite Patty, "and then I +remembered too late, and I turned around suddenly, and it fell off. I am +terribly sorry." + +"Never mind," laughed Georgie; "since it turned out well, I'll forgive +you. All the cast and committee," she said, raising her voice, "come up +to my room for food. I'm sorry I can't invite you all," she added to the +girls crowded in the doorway, "but I live in a single." + + + + +XIV + +The Mystery of the Shadowed Sophomore + + +"Oh, I say, Bonnie--Bonnie Connaught! Priscilla! Wait a minute," called +a girl from across the links, as the two were strolling homeward one +afternoon, dragging their caddie-bags behind them. They turned and +waited while Bonnie's sophomore cousin, Mildred Connaught, dashed up. +She grasped them excitedly, and at the same time glanced over her +shoulder with the air of a criminal who is being tracked. + +"I want to tell you something," she panted. "Come in here where no one +will see us"; and she dived into a clump of pine-trees growing by the +path. + +Priscilla and Bonnie followed more leisurely, and dropped down on the +soft needles with an air of amused tolerance. + +"Well, Mildred, what's the matter?" Bonnie inquired mildly. + +The sophomore lowered her voice to an impressive whisper, although there +was not a person within a hundred yards. "I am being _followed_," she +said solemnly. + +"Followed!" exclaimed Bonnie, in amazement. "Are you crazy, child? You +act like a boy who's been reading dime novels." + +"Listen, girls. You mustn't tell a soul, because it's a great secret. +We're going to plant the class tree to-night, and I am chairman of the +ceremonies. Everything is ready--the costumes are finished and the plans +all arranged so that the class can get out to the place without being +seen. The freshmen haven't a suspicion that it's going to be to-night. +But they have found out that I'm chairman of the committee, and, if you +please,"--Mildred's eyes grew wide with excitement,--"they've been +_tracking_ me for a week. They have _relays_ of girls appointed to +watch me, and I can't stir without a freshman tagging along behind. When +I went down to order the ice-cream, there was one right at my elbow, and +I had to pretend that I'd come for soda-water. I have simply had to let +the rest of the committee do all of the work, because I was so afraid +the freshmen would find out the time. It was funny at first, but I am +getting nervous. It's horrible to think that you're being watched all +the time. I feel as if I'd committed a murder, and keep looking over my +shoulder like--like Macbeth." + +"It's _awful_," Bonnie shuddered. "I'm thrilled to the bone to think of +the peril a member of my family is braving for the sake of her class." + +"You needn't laugh," said Mildred. "It's a serious matter. If those +freshmen come to our tree ceremonies, we'll never hear the last of it. +But they are not going to come," she added with a meaning smile. "They +have another engagement. We chose to-night because there's a lecture +before the Archæological Society by some alumna person who's been +digging up remains in Rome. The freshmen have been told to go and hear +her on account of their Latin. Imagine their feelings when they are +cooped up in the auditorium, trying to look intelligent about the Roman +Forum, and listening to our yells outside!" + +Priscilla and Bonnie smiled appreciatively. It was not so long, after +all, since they themselves were sophomores, and they recalled their own +tree ceremonies, when the freshmen had _not_ been cooped up. + +"But the trouble is," pursued Mildred, "that it's more important for me +to get there than any one else, because I have to dig the hole,--Peters +is really going to dig it, you know; I just take out the first +shovelful,--but I can't get there on account of that beastly scout. As +soon as she saw me acting suspicious, she'd run and warn the class." + +"I see," said Bonnie; "but what have Priscilla and I to do with it?" + +"Well," said Mildred, tentatively, "you're both pretty big, you know, +and you're our sister class, and you ought to help us." + +"Certainly," acquiesced Bonnie; "but in just what way?" + +"Well, my idea was this. If you would just stroll down by the lake after +chapel, and loiter sort of inconspicuously among the trees, you know, I +would come that way a little later, and then, when the detective person +came along after me, you could just nab her and--" + +"Chuck her in the lake?" asked Bonnie. + +"No, of course not. Don't use any force. Just politely detain her till +you hear us yelling--take her for a walk. She'd feel honored." + +Bonnie laughed. The program struck her as entertaining. "I don't see +anything very immoral in delaying a freshman who is going where she has +no business to go. What do you say, Pris?" + +"It's not exactly a Sunday-school excursion," acknowledged Priscilla, +"but I don't see why it isn't as legitimate for us to play detective as +for them." + +"By all means," said Bonnie. "Behold Sherlock Holmes and his friend Dr. +Watson about to solve the Mystery of the Shadowed Sophomore." + +"You've saved my life," said Mildred, feelingly. "Don't forget. Right +after chapel, by the lake." She peered warily out through the branches. +"I've got to get the keys to the gymnasium, so the refreshments can be +put in during chapel. Do you see anybody lurking about? I guess I can +get off without being seen. Good-by"; and she sped away like a hunted +animal. + +Bonnie looked after her and laughed. "'Youth is a great time, but +somewhat fussy,'" she quoted; and the two took their homeward way. + +They found Patty, who was experiencing a periodical fit of studying, +immersed in dictionaries and grammars. It was under protest that she +allowed herself to be interrupted long enough to hear the story of their +proposed adventure. + +"You babies!" she exclaimed. "Haven't you grown up yet? Don't you think +it's a little undignified for seniors--one might almost say alumnæ--to +be kidnapping freshmen?" + +"We're not kidnapping freshmen," Bonnie remonstrated; "we're teaching +them manners. It's my duty to protect my little cousin." + +"You can come with us and help detect," said Priscilla, generously. + +"Thank you," said Patty, loftily. "I haven't time to play with you +children. Cathy Fair and I are going to do Old English to-night." + +That evening, as Patty, keyed to the point of grappling with and +throwing whole pages of "Beowulf," stood outside the chapel door waiting +for Cathy to appear, the professor of Latin came out with a stranger. + +"Oh, Miss Wyatt!" she exclaimed in a relieved tone, pouncing upon Patty. +"I wish to present you to Miss Henderson, one of our alumnæ who is to +lecture to-night before the Archæological Society. She has not been back +for several years, and wishes to see the new buildings. Have you time to +show her around the campus a little before the lecture begins?" + +Patty bowed and murmured that she would be most happy, and cast an +agonized glance back at Cathy as she led the lecturer off. As they +strolled about, Patty poured out all the statistics she knew about the +various buildings, and Miss Henderson received them with exclamations of +delighted surprise. She was rather young and gushing for a Ph.D. and an +archæologist, Patty decided, and she wondered desperately how she could +dispose of her and get back to "Beowulf" and Cathy. + +They rounded the top of a little hill, and Miss Henderson exclaimed +delightedly, "There is the lake, just as it used to be!" + +Patty stifled a desire to remark that lakes had a habit of staying where +they used to be, and asked politely if Miss Henderson would like to take +a row. + +Miss Henderson thought that it would be pleasant; but she had forgotten +her watch, and was afraid there would not be time. + +Patty glanced about vaguely for some further object of interest, and +spied Mildred Connaught sauntering toward the lake. She had forgotten +all about the Sherlock Holmes adventure, and she suddenly had an +inspiration. Be it said to her credit that she hesitated a moment; but +the lecturer's next remark led to her own undoing. She was murmuring +something about feeling like a stranger, and wishing that she might know +the students informally and see a little of the real college life. + +"It would be a pity not to gratify her when I can do it so easily," +Patty told herself; and she added out loud, "I am sure we have time for +a little row, Miss Henderson. You walk on, and I will run back and get +my watch; it won't take a minute." + +"I wouldn't have you do that; it is too much trouble," remonstrated Miss +Henderson. + +"It's no trouble whatever," Patty protested kindly. "I can take a cross +cut, and meet you at the little summer-house where the boats are moored. +It's straight down this path; you can't miss it. Just follow that girl +over there"; and she darted away. + +The lecturer gazed dubiously after her a moment, and then started on +after the girl, who cast a look over her shoulder and quickened her +pace. It was growing quite dusky under the trees, and the lecturer +hurried on, trying to keep the girl in sight; but she unexpectedly +turned a corner and disappeared, and at the same moment two strange +girls suddenly dropped into the path, apparently from the tree-tops. + +"Good evening," they said pleasantly. "Are you taking a walk?" + +The lecturer started back with an exclamation of surprise; but as soon +as she could regain her composure, she replied politely that she was +strolling about and looking at the campus. + +"Perhaps you would like to stroll with us?" they inquired. + +"Thank you, you are very kind; but I have an engagement to row with one +of the students." + +Priscilla and Bonnie exchanged delighted glances. They had evidently +caught a resourceful young person. + +"Oh, no; it's too late for a row. You might get malaria," Priscilla +remonstrated. "Come and sit on the fence with us and admire the stars; +it's a lovely night." + +The lecturer cast an alarmed glance toward the fence, which appeared to +have an unusually narrow top rail. "You are very kind," she stammered, +"but I really can't stop. The girl will be waiting." + +"Who is the girl?" they inquired. + +"I don't know that I remember her name." + +"Mildred Connaught?" Bonnie suggested. + +"No; I don't think that is it, but I really can't say. I have only just +met her." + +Miss Henderson was growing more and more puzzled. In her day the +students had not been in the habit of way-laying strangers with +invitations to go walking and sit on fences. + +"Ah, _do_ stay with us," Bonnie begged, laying a hand on her arm. "We're +lonely and want some one to talk to--we'll tell you a secret if you do." + +"I am sorry," Miss Henderson murmured confusedly, "but--" + +"We'll tell you the secret anyway," said Bonnie, generously, "and I'm +sure you'll be interested. The sophomores are going to have their tree +ceremonies to-night!" + +"And you know," Priscilla broke in, "that the freshmen really ought to +attend them too--it doesn't matter if they aren't invited. But where do +you suppose the freshmen are to-night? They're attending a foolish +little lecture on the Roman Forum." + +"And though we don't wish to seem insistent," Bonnie added, "we should +really like to have your company until the lecture is over." + +"Until the lecture is over! But I am the lecturer," gasped Miss +Henderson. + +Bonnie grinned delightedly. "I am happy to meet you," she said, with a +bow. "And perhaps you do not recognize us. I am Mr. Sherlock Holmes, and +this is my friend Dr. Watson." + +Dr. Watson bowed, and remarked that it was an unexpected pleasure. He +had often heard of the famous lecturer, but had never hoped to meet her. + +Miss Henderson, who was not very conversant with recent literature, +looked more dazed than ever. It flashed across her mind that there was +an insane asylum in the neighborhood, and the thought was not +reassuring. + +"We'll not handcuff you," said Bonnie, magnanimously, "if you'll come +with us quietly." + +The lecturer, in spite of fervid protestations that she was a lecturer, +presently found herself sitting on the fence, with a girl on either side +grasping an elbow. A light was beginning to break upon her, together +with a poignant realization of the fact that she was seeing more of the +real college life than she cared for. + +"What time is it?" she asked anxiously. + +"Ten minutes past eight by my watch, but I think it's a little slow," +said Bonnie. + +"I am afraid you're going to be late for your lecture," said Priscilla. +"It seems a pity to waste it. Suppose you tell it to us instead." + +"Yes, do," urged Bonnie. "I just dote on the Roman Forum." + +The lecturer preserved a dignified silence, which was broken only by the +croaking of the frogs and the occasional remarks of the two detectives. +She had relinquished all hope of ever seeing the Archæological Society, +and had philosophically resigned herself to the prospect of sitting on +the fence all night, when suddenly there burst out from across the +campus a song of victory, mingled with cheers and inarticulate yells. + +At the first sound, Bonnie and Priscilla tumbled down from the fence, +bringing the lecturer with them, and, each grasping her by a hand, they +started to run. "Come on and see the fun," they laughed. "You're +perfectly welcome; it's no secret any more." And, in spite of breathless +protestations that she much preferred to walk, Miss Henderson found +herself dashing across the campus in the direction of the sounds. + +Heads suddenly appeared in the dormitory windows, doors banged, and +girls came running from every quarter with excited exclamations: "The +sophomores are having their tree ceremonies!" "Where are the freshmen?" +"Why didn't they get there?" + +A crowd quickly gathered in the shadow of the trees and watched the +scene with laughing interest. A wide circle of colored lanterns swayed +in the breeze, and, within, a line of white-robed figures wound and +unwound about a tiny tree to the music of a solemn chant. + +"Isn't it pretty? Aren't you glad we brought you?" Bonnie demanded as +they pushed through the crowd. + +The lecturer did not answer, for she caught sight of the Latin professor +hurrying toward them. + +"Miss Henderson! I was afraid you were lost. It is nearly half-past +eight. The audience has been waiting, and we have been filling in the +time with reports." + +For a moment the lecturer was silent, being occupied with an amused +scrutiny of the faces of her captors; and then she rose to the occasion +like a lady and a scholar, and delivered a masterly apology, with never +a reference to her sojourn on the fence. + +Bonnie and Priscilla stared at each other without a word, and as Miss +Henderson was led away to the remnants of her audience Patty suddenly +appeared. + +"Good evening, Mr. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. Did you solve your +mystery?" she asked sweetly. + +Priscilla turned her to the light and scrutinized her face. + +Patty smiled back with wide-open, innocent eyes. + +Priscilla knew the expression, and she shook her. "You little wretch!" +she exclaimed. + +Patty squirmed out from under her grasp. "If you remember," she +murmured, "I once said that the Lick Observatory was in Dublin, Ireland. +It was a very funny mistake, of course, but I know of others that are +funnier." + +"What do you mean?" Bonnie demanded. + +"I mean," said Patty, "that I wish you never to mention the Lick +Observatory again." + + + + +XV + +Patty and the Bishop + + +The dressing-bell rang for Sunday morning service, and Patty laid down +her book with a sigh and went and stood by the open window. The outside +world was a shimmering green and yellow, the trees showed a feathery +fringe against the sky, and the breeze was redolent of violets and fresh +earth. + +"Patty," called Priscilla, from her bedroom, "you'll have to hurry if +you want me to fasten your dress. I have to go to choir rehearsal." + +Patty turned back with another sigh, and began slowly unhooking her +collar. Then she sat down on the edge of the couch and stared absently +out of the window. + +A vigorous banging of bureau drawers in Priscilla's room was presently +followed by Priscilla herself in the doorway. She surveyed her room-mate +suspiciously. "Why aren't you dressing?" she demanded. + +"I'll fasten my own dress; you needn't wait," said Patty, without +removing her eyes from the window. + +"Bishop Copeley's going to preach to-day, and he's such an old dear; you +mustn't be late." + +Patty elevated her chin a trifle and shrugged her shoulders. + +"Aren't you going to chapel?" + +Patty brought her gaze back from the window and looked up at Priscilla +beseechingly. "It's such a lovely day," she pleaded, "and I'd so much +rather spend the time out of doors; I'm sure it would be a lot better +for my spiritual welfare." + +"It's not a question of spiritual welfare; it's a question of cuts. +You've already over-cut twice. What excuse do you intend to give when +the Self-Government Committee asks for an explanation?" + +"'Sufficient unto the day,'" laughed Patty. "When the time comes I'll +think of a beautiful new excuse that will charm the committee." + +"You ought to be ashamed to evade the rules the way you do." + +"Where is the fun of living if you are going to make yourself a slave to +all sorts of petty rules?" asked Patty, wearily. + +"I don't know why you have a right to live outside of rules any more +than the rest of us." + +Patty shrugged. "I take the right, and every one else can do the same." + +"Every one else can't," returned Priscilla, hotly, "for there wouldn't +be any law left in college if they did. I should a good deal rather play +out of doors myself than go to chapel, but I've used up all my cuts and +I can't. You couldn't either if you had a shred of proper feeling left. +The only way you can get out of it is by lying." + +"Priscilla dear," Patty murmured, "people in polite society don't put +things quite so baldly. If you would be respected in the best circles, +you must practise the art of equivocation." + +Priscilla frowned impatiently. "Are you coming, or are you not?" she +demanded. + +"I am not." + +Priscilla closed the door--not quite as softly as a door should be +closed--and Patty was left alone. She sat thinking a few minutes with +slightly flushed cheeks, and then as the chapel bell rang she shook +herself and laughed. Even had she wished to go it was too late now, and +all feeling of responsibility vanished. As soon as the decorous swish of +Sunday silks had ceased in the corridor outside, she caught up a book +and a cushion, and, creeping down by the side stairs, set gaily out +across the sunlit lawn, with the deliciously guilty thrill of a truant +little boy who has run away from school. + +From the open windows of the chapel she could hear the college +chanting: "Lord, have mercy upon us, and incline our hearts to keep this +law." She laughed happily to herself; she was not keeping laws to-day. +They might stay in there in the gloom, if they wanted to, with their +commandments and their litanies. She was worshiping under the blue sky, +to the jubilant chanting of the birds. + +She was the only person alive and out that morning, and the spring was +in her blood, and she felt as though she owned the world. The campus had +never seemed so radiant. She paused on the little rustic bridge to watch +the excited swirling of the brook, and she nearly lost her balance while +trying to launch a tiny boat made of a piece of bark. She dropped +pebbles into the pool in order to watch the startled frogs splash back +into the water, and she threw her cushion at a squirrel, and laughed +aloud at its angry chattering. She raced up the side of Pine Bluff, and +dropped down panting on the fragrant needles in the shadow of a tall +pine. + +Below her the ivy-covered buildings of the college lay clustered among +the trees; and in the Sunday quiet, with the sunlight shining on the +towers, it looked like some medieval village sleeping in the valley. +Patty gazed down dreamily with half-shut eyes, and imagined that +presently a band of troubadours and ladies would come riding out on +milk-white mules. But the sight of Peters, strolling to the gateway in +his Sunday clothes, spoiled the illusion, and she turned to her book +with a smile. Presently she closed it, however. This was not the time +for reading. One could read in winter and when it rained, and even in +the college library with every one else turning pages; but out here in +the open, with the real things of life happening all about, it was a +waste of opportunity. + +Her eyes wandered back to the campus again, and she suddenly grew sober +as the thought swept over her that in a few weeks more it would be hers +no longer. This happy, irresponsible community life, which had come to +be the only natural way of living, was suddenly at an end. She +remembered the first day of being a freshman, when everything but +herself had looked so big, and she had thought desperately, "Four years +of this!" It had seemed like an eternity; and now that it was over it +seemed like a minute. She wanted to clutch the present and hold it fast. +It was a terrible thing--this growing old. + +And there were the girls. She would have to say good-by, with no opening +day in the fall--and Priscilla lived in California and Georgie in South +Dakota and Bonnie in Kentucky and she in New England, and they were the +only people in the world she particularly cared to talk to. She would +have to get acquainted with her mother's friends--with chronically +grown-up people, who talked about husbands and children and servants. +And there would be men. She had never had time to know many men; but +some day she would probably be marrying one of them, and then all +_would_ be over; and before she had time to think, she would be an old +lady, telling her grandchildren stories about when she was a girl. + +[Illustration: I have just run away from you, Bishop Copeley] + +Patty gazed mournfully down on the campus, almost on the verge of tears +over her lost youth, when a step suddenly sounded on the gravel path, +and she looked up with a startled glance to see a churchly figure +rounding the hill. Involuntarily she prepared for flight; but the bishop +had spied her, together with a little rustic seat under a tree, and he +smiled upon the one and dropped down upon the other with a sigh of +content. + +"A beautiful view," he gasped; "but a very steep hill." + +"It is steep," Patty agreed politely; and as there seemed to be no +chance of escape, she resumed her seat and added, with a laugh: "I have +just run away from you, Bishop Copeley, and here you come following +along behind like an accusing conscience." + +The bishop chuckled. "I've run away myself," he returned; "I knew I +should have to be introduced to a hundred or so of you after service, +so I just slipped out the back way for a quiet stroll." + +Patty eyed him appreciatively, with a new sense of fellow-feeling. + +"I should like to have run away from church as well," he confessed, with +a twinkle in his eye. "Out of doors is the best church on a day like +this." + +"That's what I think," said Patty, cordially; "but I had no idea that +bishops were so sensible." + +They chatted along in a friendly manner on various subjects, and +exchanged lay opinions on the college and the clergy. + +"It's a funny thing about this place," said Patty, ruminatingly, "that, +though we have a different preacher every Sunday, we always have the +same sermon." + +"The same sermon?" inquired the bishop, somewhat aghast. + +"Practically the same," said Patty. "I've heard it for four years, and I +think I could almost preach it myself. They all seem to think, you know, +that because we come to college we must be monsters of reason, and they +urge us to remember that reason and science are not the only things that +count in the world--that feeling is, after all, the main factor; and +they quote a little poem about the flower being beautiful, I know not +why. That wasn't what yours was about?" she asked anxiously. + +"Not this time," said the bishop; "I preached an old one." + +"It's the best way," said Patty. "We're human beings, if we do come to +college. I remember once we had a man from Yale or Harvard or some such +place, and he preached an old sermon: he urged us to become more manly. +It was very refreshing." + +The bishop smiled. "Do you run away from church very often?" he inquired +mildly. + +"No; I don't have a chance when I room with Priscilla. But obligatory +chapel makes you want to run away," she added. "It's not the chapel I +object to; it's the obligatoriness." + +"But you have a system of--er--cuts," he suggested. + +"Three a month," said Patty, sadly. "Evening chapel counts as one, but +Sunday morning church as two." + +"So you expended two cuts to escape me?" he asked with a smile. + +"Oh, it wasn't you," Patty remonstrated hastily. "It was just--the +obligatoriness. And besides," she added frankly, "my legitimate cuts +were used up days ago, and when I once begin over-cutting, I am +reckless." + +"And may I ask what happens when you over-cut?" the bishop inquired. + +"Well," said Patty, "there are proctors, you know, that mark you when +you are absent; and then, if they find that you've over-cut, the +Self-Government Committee calls you up and asks the reason. If you can't +produce a good excuse you are deprived of your privileges for a month, +and you can't be on committees or in plays or get leave of absence to go +out of town." + +"I see," said the bishop; "and will you have to suffer all of those +penalties?" + +"Oh, no," said Patty, comfortably; "I shall produce a good excuse." + +"What will you say?" he inquired. + +"I don't know, exactly; I shall have to depend on the inspiration of the +moment." + +The bishop regarded her quizzically. "Do you mean," he asked, "that, +having broken the rule, you intend to evade the penalty by--to put it +flatly--a falsehood?" + +"Oh, no, bishop," said Patty, in a shocked tone. "Of course I shall tell +the truth, only"--she looked up in the bishop's face with an +irresistible smile--"the committee probably won't understand it." + +For an instant the bishop's face relaxed, and then he grew grave again. +"By a subterfuge?" he asked. + +"Y-yes," acknowledged Patty; "I suppose you _might_ call it a +subterfuge. I dare say I am pretty bad," she added, "but you have to +have a reputation for something in a place like this or you get +overlooked. I can't compete in goodness or in athletics or in anything +like that, so there's nothing left for me but to surpass in badness--I +have quite a gift for it." + +The corners of the bishop's mouth twitched. "You don't look like one +with a criminal record." + +"I'm young yet," said Patty. "It hasn't commenced to show." + +"My dear little girl," said the bishop, "I have already preached one +sermon to-day, which you didn't come to hear, and I can't undertake to +preach another for your benefit,"--Patty looked relieved,--"but there is +one question I should like to ask you. In after years, when you are +through college and the question is asked of some of your class-mates, +'Did you know--' You have not told me your name." + +"Patty Wyatt." + +"'Did you know Patty Wyatt, and what sort of a girl was she?' will the +answer be what you would wish?" + +Patty considered. "Ye-yes; I think, on the whole, they'd stand by me." + +"This morning," the bishop continued placidly, "I asked a professor in +an entirely casual way about a young woman--a class-mate of your +own--who is the daughter of an old friend of mine. The answer was +immediate and unhesitating, and you can imagine how much it gratified +me. 'There is not a finer girl in college,' he replied. 'She is honest +in work and honest in play, and thoroughly conscientious in everything +she does.'" + +"Um-m," said Patty; "that must have been Priscilla." + +"No," smiled the bishop, "it was not Priscilla. The young woman of whom +I am speaking is the president of your Student Association, Catherine +Fair." + +"Yes, it's true," said Patty, critically. "Cathy Fair hits straight from +the shoulder." + +"And wouldn't you like to go out with that reputation?" + +"I'm really not _very_ bad," pleaded Patty, "that is, as badness goes. +But I couldn't be as good as Cathy; it would be going against nature." + +"I am afraid," suggested the bishop, "that you do not try very hard. You +may not think that it matters what people think now that you are young, +but how will it be when you grow older? And it will not be long," he +added. "Age slips upon you before you realize it." + +Patty looked sober. + +"You will soon be thirty, and then forty, and then fifty." + +Patty sighed. + +"And do you think that a woman of that age is attractive if she deals in +subterfuges and evasions?" + +Patty squirmed a trifle, and dug a little hole in the pine-needles with +her toe. + +"You must remember that you cannot form your character in a moment, my +dear. Character is a plant of slow growth, and the seeds must be planted +early." + +The bishop rose, and Patty scrambled to her feet with a look of relief. +He took the pillow and the book under his arm, and they started down the +hill. "I have preached you a sermon, after all," he said apologetically; +"but preaching is my trade, and you must forgive an old man for being +prosy." + +Patty held out her hand with a smile as they stopped before the door of +Phillips Hall. "Good-by, bishop," she said, "and thank you for the +sermon; I guess I needed it--I _am_ getting old." + +She climbed the stairs slowly, and, hesitating a moment outside her own +room, where the sound of laughing voices through the transom betokened +that the clan was gathered, she kept on to the door of a single at the +end of the corridor. + +"Come in," a voice called in response to her knock. + +Patty turned the knob and stuck her head in. "Hello, Cathy! Are you +busy?" + +"Of course not. Come in and talk to me." + +Patty shut the door and leaned with her back against it. "This isn't a +social call," she announced impressively. "I've come to see you +officially." + +"Officially?" + +"You're president of students, I believe?" + +"I believe I am," sighed Cathy; "and if the President of the United +States has half as much trouble with his subjects as I have with mine, +he has my sincerest sympathy." + +"I suppose we are a great deal of trouble," said Patty, contritely. + +"Trouble! My dear," said Cathy, solemnly. "I've spent the entire week +running around to the different cottages making speeches to those +blessed freshmen. They _won't_ hand in chapel excuses, and they _will_ +run off with library books, and, altogether, they're an immoral lot." + +"They can afford to be; they're young," sighed Patty, enviously. "But +I," she added, "am getting old, and it's time I was getting good. I've +called to tell you that I've over-cut four times, and I haven't any +excuse." + +"What are you talking about?" asked Cathy, in amazement. + +"Chapel excuses. I've over-cut four times,--I think it's four, though +I've rather lost count,--and I haven't any excuse." + +"But, Patty, don't tell me that. You must have some excuse, some reason +for--" + +"Not the shadow of one. Just stayed away because I didn't feel like +going." + +"But you must give me _some_ reason," remonstrated Cathy, in distress, +"or I'll have to report it to the committee and you'll be deprived of +your privileges. You can't afford that, you know, for you're chairman of +the Senior Prom." + +"But I didn't have any excuse, and I can't make one up," said Patty. "I +will soon be thirty, and then forty, and then fifty. Do you think a +woman of that age is attractive if she deals in subterfuges and +evasions? Character," she added solemnly, "is a plant of slow growth, +and the seeds must be planted early." + +Cathy looked puzzled. "I don't know what you're talking about," she +said, "but I suppose you do. Anyway," she added, "I'm sorry about the +chairmanship; but I'm--well, I'm sort of glad, too." She laid a hand on +Patty's shoulder. "Of course I've always liked you, Patty,--everybody +does,--but I don't believe I've ever appreciated you, and I'm glad to +find it out before we leave college." + +Patty's face flushed a trifle and she drew away half sheepishly. "You'd +best postpone your felicitations until to-morrow," she laughed, "for I +may think of some good excuse in the night. Good-by." + +She was greeted in the study with a cry of welcome. + +"Well, Patty," said Priscilla, "I hear you've been taking a walk with +the bishop. Did you tell him you'd cut chapel?" + +"I did; and he said he wished he might have cut, too." + +"She's incorrigible," sighed Georgie; "she's even been corrupting the +bishop." + +"You'd better be careful, Patty Wyatt," warned Bonnie Connaught. +"Self-Government will get you if you don't watch out, and _then_ you'll +be sorry when they take you off the Senior Prom." + +Patty sobered for a moment, but she hastily assumed a nonchalant air. +"They have got me," she laughed, "and I'm already off--or, at least, I +shall be as soon as they have a meeting." + +"Patty!" cried the room, in a horrified chorus. "What do you mean?" + +Patty shrugged. "Just what I say: deprived of my privileges for cutting +chapel." + +"It's a shame!" said Georgie, indignantly. "That Self-Government +Committee is going a little too far when it takes a senior's privileges +away without even hearing her case." She grasped Patty by the arm and +started toward the door. "Come on and tell Cathy Fair about it. She +will fix it all right." + +Patty hung back and disengaged her wrist from Georgie's grasp. "Let me +alone," she said sulkily. "There's nothing to be done. I told her myself +I hadn't any excuse." + +"You told her?" Georgie stared her incredulity, and Bonnie Connaught +laughed. + +"Patty reminds me of the burglar who crawled out the back window with +the silver, and then rang the front door-bell and handed it back." + +"What's the matter, Patty?" Priscilla asked solicitously. "Don't you +feel well?" + +Patty sighed. "I'm getting old," she said. + +"You're getting what?" + +"Old. Soon I'll be thirty, and then forty, and then fifty; and do you +think any one will love me then if I deal in subterfuges and evasions? +Character, my dear girls, is a plant of slow growth, and the seeds must +be planted early." + +"You went and told the committee voluntarily,--of your own +accord,--without even waiting to be called up?" Georgie persisted, +determined to get at the facts of the case. + +"I'm getting old," repeated Patty. "It's time I was getting good. As I +said before, character is a plant--" + +Georgie looked at the others and shook her head in bewilderment, and +Bonnie Connaught laughed and murmured to the room in general: "When +Patty gets to heaven I'm afraid the Recording Angel will have some +trouble in balancing his books." + + * * * * * + +Transcriber's Notes: + +Obvious punctuation errors repaired. + +The original text had each Chapter number and title twice. The first of +these was deleted to aid in ease of reading. + +Page 198, the text that begins "Ireland's eminent astronomer spending" +ends without punctuation to indicate that the reader broke off suddenly. +This was retained. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's When Patty Went to College, by Jean Webster + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHEN PATTY WENT TO COLLEGE *** + +***** This file should be named 21639-8.txt or 21639-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/1/6/3/21639/ + +Produced by Bruce Albrecht, Emmy and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: When Patty Went to College + +Author: Jean Webster + +Illustrator: C. D. Williams + +Release Date: May 29, 2007 [EBook #21639] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHEN PATTY WENT TO COLLEGE *** + + + + +Produced by Bruce Albrecht, Emmy and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + + +<div class='center'><a name="front" id="front"></a> +<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="Front Matter"> +<tr><td align='center'><img src="images/image_0001.jpg" width="213" height="400" alt="Patty" title="Patty" /> +<br /><span class="caption">Patty</span> +</td><td align='left'><h1>When Patty Went to College</h1> + +<h3>By</h3> + +<h2>Jean Webster</h2> + +<div class='center'><br /><br /> +With Illustrations<br /> +by C. D. Williams<br /><br /><br /> +</div> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 100px;"> +<img src="images/emblem.png" width="100" height="102" alt="Emblem" title="Emblem" /> +</div> + +<div class='center'><br /><br /> +New York<br /> +The Century Co.<br /> +1903<br /> +</div></td></tr> +</table></div> + + + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> +<div class='center'><small> +Copyright, 1903, by<br /> +<span class="smcap">The Century Co.</span><br /> +<br /> +Copyright, 1901, 1902, by <span class="smcap">Truth Co.</span><br /> +</small></div> + +<hr style='width: 25%;' /> + +<div class='center'><small><i>Published March, 1903</i></small></div> + +<hr style='width: 25%;' /> + +<div class='center'><small>THE DEVINNE PRESS</small></div> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h3> +TO<br /> +234 MAIN AND THE GOOD<br /> +TIMES WE HAVE HAD THERE<br /> +</h3> + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>Contents</h2> + + + + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" summary="Contents"> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='left'> </td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">page</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>I</td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Peters the Susceptible</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_1'>1</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>II</td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">An Early Fright</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_21'>21</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>III</td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">The Impressionable Mr. Todhunter</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_39'>39</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>IV</td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">A Question of Ethics</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_57'>57</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>V</td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">The Elusive Kate Ferris</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_73'>73</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>VI</td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">A Story with Four Sequels</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_89'>89</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>VII</td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">In Pursuit of Old English</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_103'>103</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>VIII</td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">The Deceased Robert</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_121'>121</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>IX</td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Patty the Comforter</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_133'>133</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>X</td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">"Per l'Italia"</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_147'>147</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>XI</td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">"Local Color"</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_177'>177</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>XII</td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">The Exigencies of Etiquette</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_203'>203</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>XIII</td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">A Crash Without</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_215'>215</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>XIV</td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">The Mystery of the Shadowed Sophomore</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_237'>237</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>XV</td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Patty and the Bishop</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_257'>257</a></td></tr> +</table></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>List of Illustrations</h2> + + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" summary="List of Illustrations"> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='center'><span class="smcap">facing page</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Patty</td><td align='right'><a href='#front'><i>Frontispiece</i></a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Men know such a lot about such things!</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_18'>18</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Mr. Algernon Vivian Todhunter, gingerly sitting on the edge of a chair</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_54'>54</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>What's the matter, Patty?</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_110'>110</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Olivia Copeland</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_172'>172</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>I have just run away from you, Bishop Copeley</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_266'>266</a></td></tr> +</table></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[1]</a></span><br /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[2]</a></span><br /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[3]</a></span></p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>I</h2> + +<h3>Peters the Susceptible</h3> + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 169px;"> +<img src="images/pquot.png" width="169" height="150" alt="P" title="P" /> +</div> + +<div class='unindent'><br /><br />APER-WEIGHTS," observed Patty, sucking an injured thumb, "were +evidently not made for driving in tacks. I wish I had a hammer."</div> + +<p>This remark called forth no response, and Patty peered down from the top +of the step-ladder at her room-mate, who was sitting on the floor +dragging sofa-pillows and curtains from a dry-goods box.</p> + +<p>"Priscilla," she begged, "you aren't doing anything useful. Go down and +ask Peters for a hammer."</p> + +<p>Priscilla rose reluctantly. "I dare say fifty girls have already been +after a hammer."</p> + +<p>"Oh, he has a private one in his back pocket. Borrow that. And, +Pris,"—Patty called after her over the transom,—"just<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[4]</a></span> tell him to +send up a man to take that closet door off its hinges."</p> + +<p>Patty, in the interval, sat down on the top step and surveyed the chaos +beneath her. An Oriental rush chair, very much out at the elbows, +several miscellaneous chairs, two desks, a divan, a table, and two +dry-goods boxes radiated from the center of the room. The floor, as it +showed through the interstices, was covered with a grass-green carpet, +while the curtains and hangings were of a not very subdued crimson.</p> + +<p>"One would scarcely," Patty remarked to the furniture in general, "call +it a symphony in color."</p> + +<p>A knock sounded on the door.</p> + +<p>"Come in," she called.</p> + +<p>A girl in a blue linen sailor-suit reaching to her ankles, and with a +braid of hair hanging down her back, appeared in the doorway. Patty +examined her in silence. The girl's eyes traveled around the room in +some surprise, and finally reached the top of the ladder.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I—I'm a freshman," she began.</p> + +<p>"My dear," murmured Patty, in a deprecatory tone, "I should have taken +you for a senior; but"—with a wave of her hand toward the nearest +dry-goods box—"come in and sit down. I need your advice. Now, there are +shades of green," she went on, as if continuing a conversation, "which +are not so bad with red; but I ask you frankly if <i>that</i> shade of green +would go with anything?"</p> + +<p>The freshman looked at Patty, and looked at the carpet, and smiled +dubiously. "No," she admitted; "I don't believe it would."</p> + +<p>"I knew you would say that!" exclaimed Patty, in a tone of relief. "Now +what would you advise us to do with the carpet?"</p> + +<p>The freshman looked blank. "I—I don't know, unless you take it up," she +stammered.</p> + +<p>"The very thing!" said Patty. "I wonder we hadn't thought of it before."</p> + +<p>Priscilla reappeared at this point with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span> the announcement, "Peters is +the most suspicious man I ever knew!" But she stopped uncertainly as she +caught sight of the freshman.</p> + +<p>"Priscilla," said Patty, severely, "I <i>hope</i> you didn't divulge the fact +that we are hanging the walls with tapestry"—this with a wave of her +hand toward the printed cotton cloth dangling from the molding.</p> + +<p>"I tried not to," said Priscilla, guiltily, "but he read 'tapestry' in +my eyes. He had no sooner looked at me than he said, 'See here, miss; +you know it's against the rules to hang curtains on the walls, and you +mustn't put nails in the plastering, and I don't believe you need a +hammer anyway.'"</p> + +<p>"Disgusting creature!" said Patty.</p> + +<p>"But," continued Priscilla, hastily, "I stopped and borrowed Georgie +Merriles's hammer on my way back. Oh, I forgot," she added; "he says we +can't take the closet door off its hinges—that as soon as we get ours +off five hundred other young ladies will be wanting theirs off,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span> and +that it would take half a dozen men all summer to put them back again."</p> + +<p>A portentous frown was gathering on Patty's brow, and the freshman, +wishing to avert a possible domestic tragedy, inquired timidly, "Who is +Peters?"</p> + +<p>"Peters," said Priscilla, "is a short, bow-legged gentleman with a red +Vandyke beard, whose technical title is janitor, but who is really +dictator. Every one is afraid of him—even Prexy."</p> + +<p>"I'm not," said Patty; "and," she added firmly, "that door is coming +down whether he says so or not, so I suppose we shall have to do it +ourselves." Her eyes wandered back to the carpet and her face +brightened. "Oh, Pris, we've got a beautiful new scheme. My friend here +says she doesn't like the carpet at all, and suggests that we take it +up, get some black paint, and put it on the floor ourselves. I agree," +she added, "that a Flemish oak floor covered with rugs would be a great +improvement."</p> + +<p>Priscilla glanced uncertainly from the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span> freshman to the floor. "Do you +think they'd let us do it?"</p> + +<p>"It would never do to ask them," said Patty.</p> + +<p>The freshman rose uneasily. "I came," she said hesitatingly, "to find +out—that is, I understand that the girls rent their old books, and I +thought, if you wouldn't mind—"</p> + +<p>"Mind!" said Patty, reassuringly. "We'd rent our souls for fifty cents a +semester."</p> + +<p>"It—it was a Latin dictionary I wanted," said the freshman, "and the +girls next door said perhaps you had one."</p> + +<p>"A beautiful one," said Patty.</p> + +<p>"No," interrupted Priscilla; "hers is lost from O to R, and it's all +torn; but mine,"—she dived down into one of the boxes and hauled out a +chunky volume without any covers,—"while it is not so beautiful as it +was once, it is still as useful."</p> + +<p>"Mine's annotated," said Patty, "and illustrated. I'll show you what a +superior<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span> book it is," and she began descending the ladder; but +Priscilla charged upon her and she retreated to the top again. "Why," +she wailed to the terrified freshman, "did you not say you wanted a +dictionary before she came back? Let me give you some advice at the +beginning of your college career," she added warningly. "Never choose a +room-mate bigger than yourself. They're dangerous."</p> + +<p>The freshman was backing precipitously toward the door, when it opened +and revealed an attractive-looking girl with fluffy reddish hair.</p> + +<p>"Pris, you wretch, you walked off with my hammer!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, Georgie, we need it worse than you do! Come in and help tack."</p> + +<p>"Hello, Georgie," called Patty, from the ladder. "Isn't this room going +to be beautiful when it's finished?"</p> + +<p>Georgie looked about. "You are more sanguine than I should be," she +laughed.</p> + +<p>"You can't tell yet," Patty returned.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span> "We're going to cover the +wall-paper with this red stuff, and paint the floor black, and have dark +furniture, and red hangings, and soft lights. It will look just like the +Oriental Room in the Waldorf."</p> + +<p>"How in the world," Georgie demanded, "do you ever make them let you do +all these things? I stuck in three innocent little thumb-tacks to-day, +and Peters descended upon me bristling with wrath, and said he'd report +me if I didn't pull them out."</p> + +<p>"We never ask," explained Patty. "It's the only way."</p> + +<p>"You've got enough to do if you expect to get settled by Monday," +Georgie remarked.</p> + +<p>"<i>C'est vrai</i>," agreed Patty, descending the ladder with a sudden access +of energy; "and you've got to stay and help us. We have to get all this +furniture moved into the bedrooms and the carpet up before we even +<i>begin</i> to paint." She regarded the freshman tentatively. "Are you +awfully busy?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Not very. My room-mate hasn't come yet, so I can't settle."</p> + +<p>"That's nice; then you can help us move furniture."</p> + +<p>"Patty!" said Priscilla, "I think you are too bad."</p> + +<p>"I should really love to stay and help, if you'll let me."</p> + +<p>"Certainly," said Patty, obligingly. "I forgot to ask your name," she +continued, "and I don't suppose you like to be called 'Freshman'; it's +not specific enough."</p> + +<p>"My name is Genevieve Ainslee Randolph."</p> + +<p>"Genevieve Ains—dear me! I can't remember anything like that. Do you +mind if I call you Lady Clara Vere de Vere for short?"</p> + +<p>The freshman looked doubtful, and Patty proceeded: "Lady Clara, allow me +to present my room-mate Miss Priscilla Pond—no relation to the extract. +She's athletic and wins hundred-yard dashes and hurdle races, and gets +her name in the paper to a really gratifying extent. And<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span> my dear friend +Miss Georgie Merriles, one of the oldest families in Dakota. Miss +Merriles is very talented—sings in the glee club, plays on the comb—"</p> + +<p>"And," interrupted Georgie, "let me present Miss Patty Wyatt, who—"</p> + +<p>"Has no specialty," said Patty, modestly, "but is merely good and +beautiful and bright."</p> + +<p>A knock sounded on the door, which opened without waiting for a +response. "Miss Theodora Bartlet," continued Patty, "commonly known as +the Twin, Miss Vere de Vere."</p> + +<p>The Twin looked dazed, murmured, "Miss Vere de Vere," and dropped down +on a dry-goods box.</p> + +<p>"The term 'Twin,'" explained Patty, "is used in a merely allegorical +sense. There is really only one of her. The title was conferred in her +freshman year, and the reason has been lost in the dim dawn of +antiquity."</p> + +<p>The freshman looked at the Twin and opened her mouth, but shut it again +without saying anything.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span></p> + +<p>"My favorite maxim," said Patty, "has always been, 'Silence is golden.' +I observe that we are kindred spirits."</p> + +<p>"Patty," said Priscilla, "do stop bothering that poor child and get to +work."</p> + +<p>"Bothering?" said Patty. "I am not bothering her; we are just getting +acquainted. However, I dare say it is not the time for hollow +civilities. Do you want to borrow anything?" she added, turning to the +Twin, "or did you just drop in to pay a social call?"</p> + +<p>"Just a social call; but I think I'll come in again when there's no +furniture to move."</p> + +<p>"You don't happen to be going into town this afternoon?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said the Twin. "But," she added guardedly, "if it's a +curtain-pole, I refuse to bring it out. I offered to bring one out for +Lucille Carter last night, because she was in a hurry to give a +house-warming, and I speared the conductor with it getting into the car; +and while I was apologizing to him I knocked Mrs. Prexy's hat off with +the other end."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span></p> + +<p>"We have all the curtain-poles we need," said Patty. "It's just some +paint—five cans of black paint, and three brushes at the ten-cent +store, and thank you very much. Good-by. Now," she continued, "the first +thing is to get that door down, and I will wrest a screw-driver from the +unwilling Peters while you remove tacks from the carpet."</p> + +<p>"He won't give you one," said Priscilla.</p> + +<p>"You'll see," said Patty.</p> + +<p>Five minutes later she returned waving above her head an unmistakable +screw-driver. "<i>Voilà, mes amies!</i> Peters's own private screw-driver, +for which I am to be personally responsible."</p> + +<p>"How did you get it?" inquired Priscilla, suspiciously.</p> + +<p>"You act," said Patty, "as if you thought I knocked him down in some +dark corner and robbed him. I merely asked him for it politely, and he +asked me what I wanted to do with it. I told him I wanted to take out +screws, and the reason<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span> impressed him so that he handed it over without +a word. Peters," she added, "is a dear; only he's like every other +man—you have to use diplomacy."</p> + +<p>By ten o'clock that night the study carpet of 399 was neatly folded and +deposited at the end of the corridor above, whence its origin would be +difficult to trace. The entire region was steeped in an odor of +turpentine, and the study floor of 399 was a shining black, except for +four or five unpainted spots which Patty designated as +"stepping-stones," and which were to be treated later. Every caller that +had dropped in during the afternoon or evening had had a brush thrust +into her hand and had been made to go down upon her knees and paint. +Besides the floor, three bookcases and a chair had been transferred from +mahogany to Flemish oak, and there was still half a can of paint left +which Patty was anxiously trying to dispose of.</p> + +<p>The next morning, in spite of the difficulty of getting about, the +step-ladder had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span> been reërected, and the business of tapestry-hanging +was going forward with enthusiasm, when a knock suddenly interrupted the +work.</p> + +<p>Patty, all unconscious of impending doom, cheerily called, "Come in!"</p> + +<p>The door opened, and the figure of Peters appeared on the threshold; and +Priscilla basely fled, leaving her room-mate stranded on the ladder.</p> + +<p>"Are you the young lady who borrowed my screw—" Peters stopped and +looked at the floor, and his jaw dropped in astonishment. "Where is that +there carpet?" he demanded, in a tone which seemed to imply that he +thought it was under the paint.</p> + +<p>"It's out in the hall," said Patty, pleasantly. "Please be careful and +don't step on the paint. It's a great improvement, don't you think?"</p> + +<p>"You oughter got permission—" he began, but his eye fell on the +tapestry and he stopped again.</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Patty; "but we knew you<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span> couldn't spare a man just now to +paint it for us, so we didn't like to trouble you."</p> + +<p>"It's against the rules to hang curtains on the walls."</p> + +<p>"I have heard that it was," said Patty, affably, "and I think ordinarily +it's a very good rule. But just look at the color of that wall-paper. +It's pea-green. You have had enough experience with wall-paper, Mr. +Peters, to know that <i>that</i> is impossible, especially when our +window-curtains and portières are red."</p> + +<p>Peters's eyes had traveled to the closet, bereft of its door. "Are you +the young lady," he demanded gruffly, "who asked me to have that door +taken off its hinges?"</p> + +<p>"No," said Patty; "I think that must have been my room-mate. It was +<i>very</i> heavy," she continued plaintively, "and we had a great deal of +trouble getting it down, but of course we realized that you were awfully +busy, and that it really wasn't your fault. That's what I wanted the +screw-driver for," she added. "I'm sorry<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span> that I didn't get it back last +night, but I was very tired, and I forgot."</p> + +<div class="figright" style="width: 292px;"> +<img src="images/image_0028.jpg" width="292" height="400" alt="Men know such a lot about such things!" title="Men know such a lot about such things!" /> +<span class="caption">Men know such a lot about such things!</span> +</div> + +<p>Peters merely grunted. He was examining a corner cabinet hanging on the +wall. "Didn't you know," he asked severely, "that it's against the rules +to put nails in the plaster?"</p> + +<p>"Those aren't nails," expostulated Patty. "They're hooks. I remembered +that you didn't like holes, so I only put in two, though I am really +afraid that three are necessary. What do you think, Mr. Peters? Does it +seem solid?"</p> + +<p>Peters shook it. "It's solid enough," he said sulkily. As he turned, his +eye fell on the table in Priscilla's bedroom. "Is that a gas-stove in +there?" he demanded.</p> + +<p>Patty shrugged her shoulders. "An apology for one—be <i>careful</i>, Mr. +Peters! <i>Don't</i> get against that bookcase. It's just painted."</p> + +<p>Peters jumped aside, and stood like the Colossus of Rhodes, with one +foot on one stepping-stone, and the other on another three feet away. It +is hard for even a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span> janitor to be dignified in such a position, and +while he was gathering his scattered impressions Patty looked longingly +around the room for some one to enjoy the spectacle with her. She felt +that the silence was becoming ominous, however, and she hastened to +interrupt it.</p> + +<p>"There's something wrong with that stove; it won't burn a bit. I am +afraid we didn't put it together just right. I shouldn't be surprised if +<i>you</i> might be able to tell what's the matter with it, Mr. Peters." She +smiled sweetly. "Men know such a lot about such things! Would you mind +looking at it?"</p> + +<p>Peters grunted again; but he approached the stove.</p> + +<p>Five minutes later, when Priscilla stuck her head in to find out if, by +chance, anything remained of Patty, she saw Peters on his knees on the +floor of her bedroom, with the dismembered stove scattered about him, +and heard him saying, "I don't know as I have any call to report you, +for I s'pose, since they're up, they might<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span> as well stay"; and Patty's +voice returning: "You're <i>very</i> kind, Mr. Peters. Of course if we'd +<i>known</i>—" Priscilla shut the door softly, and retired around the corner +to await Peters's departure.</p> + +<p>"How in the world did you manage him?" she asked, bursting in as soon as +the sound of his footsteps had died away down the corridor. "I expected +to sing a requiem over your remains, and I found Peters on his knees, +engaged in amicable conversation."</p> + +<p>Patty smiled inscrutably. "You must remember," she said, "that Peters is +not only a janitor: he is also a man."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>II</h2> + +<h3>An Early Fright</h3> + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 173px;"> +<img src="images/iquot.png" width="173" height="150" alt="I" title="I" /> +</div> +<div class='unindent'><br /><br />'LL make the tea to-day," said Patty, graciously.</div> + +<p>"As you please," said Priscilla, with a skeptical shrug.</p> + +<p>Patty bustled about amid a rattle of china. "The cups are rather dusty," +she observed dubiously.</p> + +<p>"You'd better wash them," Priscilla returned.</p> + +<p>"No," said Patty; "it's too much trouble. Just close the blinds, please, +and we'll light the candles, and that will do as well. Come in," she +called in answer to a knock.</p> + +<p>Georgie Merriles, Lucille Carter, and the Bartlet Twin appeared in the +doorway.</p> + +<p>"Did I hear the two P's were going to serve tea this afternoon?" +inquired the Twin.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Yes; come in. I'm going to make it myself," answered Patty, "and you'll +see how much more attentive a hostess I am than Priscilla. Here, Twin," +she added, "you take the kettle out and fill it with water; and, +Lucille, please go and borrow some alcohol from the freshmen at the end +of the corridor; our bottle's empty. I'd do it myself, only I've +borrowed such a lot lately, and they don't know you, you see. And—oh, +Georgie, you're an obliging dear; just run down-stairs to the store and +get some sugar. I think I saw some money in that silver inkstand on +Priscilla's desk."</p> + +<p>"We've got some sugar," objected Priscilla. "I bought a whole pound +yesterday."</p> + +<p>"No, my lamb; we haven't got it any more. I lent it to Bonnie Connaught +last night. Just hunt around for the spoons," she added. "I think I saw +them on the bottom shelf of the bookcase, behind Kipling."</p> + +<p>"And what, may I ask, are <i>you</i> going to do?" inquired Priscilla.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I?" said Patty. "Oh, I am going to sit in the arm-chair and preside."</p> + +<p>Ten minutes later, the company being disposed about the room on +cushions, and the party well under way, it was discovered that there +were no lemons.</p> + +<p>"Are you sure?" asked Patty, anxiously.</p> + +<p>"Not one," said Priscilla, peering into the stein where the lemons were +kept.</p> + +<p>"I," said Georgie, "refuse to go to the store again."</p> + +<p>"No matter," said Patty, graciously; "we can do very well without them." +(She did not take lemon herself.) "The object of tea is not for the sake +of the tea, but for the conversation which accompanies it, and one must +not let accidents annoy him. You see, young ladies," she went on, in the +tone of an instructor giving a lecture, "though I have just spilled the +alcohol over the sugar, I appear not to notice it, but keep up an easy +flow of conversation to divert my guests. A repose of manner is above +all things to be cultivated." Patty leaned languidly back in her chair. +"To-morrow<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span> is Founder's Day," she resumed in a conversational tone. "I +wonder if many—"</p> + +<p>"That reminds me," interrupted the Twin. "You girls needn't save any +dances for my brother. I got a letter from him this morning saying he +couldn't come."</p> + +<p>"He hasn't broken anything, has he?" Patty asked sympathetically.</p> + +<p>"Broken anything?"</p> + +<p>"Ah—an arm, or a leg, or a neck. Accidents are so prevalent about +Founder's time."</p> + +<p>"No; he was called out of town on important business."</p> + +<p>"Important business!" Patty laughed. "Dear man! why couldn't he have +thought of something new?"</p> + +<p>"I think myself it was just an excuse," the Twin acknowledged. "He +seemed to have an idea that he would be the only man here, and that, +alone and unaided, he would have to dance with all six hundred girls."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span></p> + +<p>Patty shook her head sadly. "They're all alike. Founder's wouldn't be +Founder's if half the guests didn't develop serious illness or important +business or dead relations the last minute. The only safe way is to +invite three men and make out one program."</p> + +<p>"I simply can't realize that to-morrow is Founder's," said Priscilla. +"It doesn't seem a week since we unpacked our trunks after vacation, and +before we know it we shall be packing them again for Christmas."</p> + +<p>"Yes; and before we know it we'll be unpacking them again, with +examinations three weeks ahead," said Georgie the pessimist.</p> + +<p>"Oh, for the matter of that," returned Patty the optimist, "before we +know it we'll be walking up one side of the platform for our diplomas +and coming down the other side blooming alumnæ."</p> + +<p>"And then," sighed Georgie, "before we even have time to decide on a +career, we'll be old ladies, telling our grandchildren<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span> to stand up +straight and remember their rubbers."</p> + +<p>"And," said Priscilla, "before any of us get any tea we'll be in our +graves, if you don't stop talking and watch that kettle."</p> + +<p>"It's boiling," said Patty.</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Priscilla; "it's been boiling for ten minutes."</p> + +<p>"It's hot," said Patty.</p> + +<p>"I should think it might be," said Priscilla.</p> + +<p>"And now the problem is, how to get it off without burning one's self."</p> + +<p>"You're presiding to-day; you must solve your own problems."</p> + +<p>"'Tis an easy matter," and Patty hooked it off on the end of a +golf-club. "Young ladies," she said, with a wave of the kettle, "there +is nothing like a college education to teach you a way out of every +difficulty. If, when you are out in the wide, wide world—"</p> + +<div class='center'> +"Where, oh, where are the grave old seniors?"<br /> +</div> + +<div class='unindent'>chanted the Twin.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span></div> + +<div class='center'>"Where, oh, where are they?"<br /> +</div> + +<div class='unindent'>The rest took it up, and Patty waited patiently.</div> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="They've gone out of Cairnsley's ethics"> +<tr><td align='left'>"They've gone out of Cairnsley's ethics,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">They've gone out of Cairnsley's ethics,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">They've gone out of Cairnsley's ethics,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Into the wide, wide w-o-r-l-d."</span></td></tr> +</table></div> + +<p>"If you have finished your ovation, young ladies, I will proceed with my +lecture. When, as I say, you are out in the wide, wide world, making +five-o'clock tea some afternoon for one of the young men popularly +supposed to be there, who have dropped in to make an afternoon call—Do +you follow me, young ladies, or do I speak too fast? If, while you are +engaged in conversation, the kettle should become too hot, do not put +your finger in your mouth and shriek 'Ouch!' and coquettishly say to the +young man, '<i>You</i> take it off,' as might a young woman who has not +enjoyed your advantages; but, rather, rise to the emergency; say to him +calmly, 'This kettle has become over-heated;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span> may I trouble you to go +into the hall and bring an umbrella?' and when he returns you can hook +it off gracefully and expeditiously as you have seen me do, young +ladies, and the young—"</p> + +<p>"Patty, take care!" This from Priscilla.</p> + +<p>"O-u-c-h!" in a long-drawn wail. This from Georgie.</p> + +<p>Patty hastily set the kettle down on the floor. "I'm awfully sorry, +Georgie. Does it hurt?"</p> + +<p>"Not in the least. It's really a pleasant sensation to have boiling +water poured over you."</p> + +<p>The Bartlet Twin sniffed. "I smell burning rug."</p> + +<p>Patty groaned. "I resign, Pris; I resign. Here, you preside. I'll never +ask to make it again."</p> + +<p>"I should like," observed the Twin, "to see Patty entertaining a young +man."</p> + +<p>"It's not such an unprecedented event," said Patty, with some warmth. +"You can watch me to-morrow night if it will give you so much +pleasure."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span></p> + +<p>"To-morrow night? Are you going to have a man for the Prom?"</p> + +<p>"That," said Patty, "is my intention."</p> + +<p>"And you haven't asked me for a dance!" This in an aggrieved chorus from +the entire room.</p> + +<p>"I haven't asked any one," said Patty, with dignity.</p> + +<p>"Do you mean you're going to have all of the twenty dances with him +yourself?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, no; I don't expect to dance more than ten with him myself—I +haven't made out his card yet," she added.</p> + +<p>"Why not?"</p> + +<p>"I never do."</p> + +<p>"Has he been here before, then?"</p> + +<p>"No; that's the reason."</p> + +<p>"The reason for what?"</p> + +<p>"Well," Patty deigned to explain, "I've invited him for every party +since freshman year."</p> + +<p>"And did he decline?"</p> + +<p>"No; he accepted, but he never came."</p> + +<p>"Why not?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span></p> + +<p>"He was scared."</p> + +<p>"Scared? Of the girls?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Patty, "partly—but mostly of the faculty."</p> + +<p>"The <i>faculty</i> wouldn't hurt him."</p> + +<p>"Of course not; but he couldn't understand that. You see, he had a +fright when he was young."</p> + +<p>"A fright? What was it?"</p> + +<p>"Well," said Patty, "it happened this way: It was while I was at +boarding-school. He was at Andover then, and his home was in the South; +and one time when he went through Washington he stopped off to call on +me. As it happened, the butler had left two days before, and had taken +with him all the knives and forks, and all the money he could find, and +Nancy Lee's gold watch and two hat-pins, and my silver hair-brush, and a +bottle of brandy, and a pie," she enumerated with a conscientious regard +for details; "and Mrs. Trent—that's the principal—had advertised for a +new butler."</p> + +<p>"I should have thought the old one<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span> would have discouraged her from +keeping butlers," said Georgie.</p> + +<p>"You <i>would</i> think so," said Patty; "but she was a very persevering +woman. On the day that Raoul—that's his name—came to call, nineteen +people had applied for the place, and Mrs. Trent was worn out from +interviewing them. So she told Miss Sarah—that's her daughter—to +attend to those who came in the evening. Miss Sarah was tall and wore +spectacles, and was—was—"</p> + +<p>"A good disciplinarian," suggested the Twin.</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Patty, feelingly, "an <i>awfully</i> good disciplinarian. Well, +when Raoul got there he gave his card to Ellen and asked for me; but +Ellen didn't understand, and she called Miss Sarah, and when Miss Sarah +saw him in his evening clothes she—"</p> + +<p>"Took him for a butler," put in Georgie.</p> + +<p>"Yes, she took him for a butler; and she looked at the card he'd given +Ellen, and said icily, 'What does this mean?'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span></p> + +<p>"'It's—it's my name,' he stammered.</p> + +<p>"'I see,' said Miss Sarah; 'but where is your recommendation?'</p> + +<p>"'I didn't know it was necessary,' he said, terribly scared.</p> + +<p>"'Of course it's necessary,' Miss Sarah returned. 'I can't allow you to +come into the house unless I have letters from the places where you've +been before.'</p> + +<p>"'I didn't suppose you were so strict,' he said.</p> + +<p>"'We have to be strict,' Miss Sarah answered firmly. 'Have you had much +experience?'</p> + +<p>"He didn't know what she meant, but he thought it would be safest to say +he hadn't.</p> + +<p>"'Then of course you won't do,' she replied. 'How old are you?'</p> + +<p>"He was so frightened by this time that he couldn't remember. +'Nineteen,' he gasped—'I mean twenty.'</p> + +<p>"Miss Sarah saw his confusion, and thought he had designs on some of +the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span> heiresses intrusted to her care. 'I don't see how you <i>dared</i> to +come here,' she said severely. 'I should not think of having you in the +house for a moment. You're altogether too young and too good-looking.' +And with that Raoul got up and bolted.</p> + +<p>"When Ellen told Miss Sarah the next day that he'd asked for me, she was +terribly mortified, and she made me write and explain, and invite him to +dinner; but wild horses couldn't have dragged him into the house again. +He's been afraid to stop off in Washington ever since. He always goes +straight through on a sleeper, and says he has nightmares even then."</p> + +<p>"And is that why he won't come to the college?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Patty; "that's the reason. I told him we didn't have any +butlers here; but he said we had lady faculty, and that's as bad."</p> + +<p>"But I thought you said he <i>was</i> coming to the Prom."</p> + +<p>"He is this time."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Are you sure?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Patty, with ominous emphasis, "I'm sure. He knows," she +added, "what will happen if he doesn't."</p> + +<p>"What will happen?" asked the Twin.</p> + +<p>"Nothing."</p> + +<p>The Twin shook her head, and Georgie inquired, "Then why don't you make +out his program?"</p> + +<p>"I suppose I might as well. I didn't do it before because it sort of +seemed like tempting Providence. I didn't want to be the cause of any +really <i>serious</i> accident happening to him," she explained a trifle +ambiguously as she got out pencil and paper. "What dances can you give +me, Lucille? And you, Georgie, have you got the third taken?"</p> + +<p>While this business was being settled, a knock unheeded had sounded on +the door. It came again.</p> + +<p>"What's that?" asked Priscilla. "Did some one knock? Come in."</p> + +<p>The door opened, and a maid stood upon the threshold with a yellow +envelope in her hand. She peered uncertainly<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span> around the darkened room +from one face to another. "Miss Patty Wyatt?" she asked.</p> + +<p>Patty stretched out her hand in silence for the envelop, and, propping +it up on her desk, looked at it with a grim smile.</p> + +<p>"What is it, Patty? Aren't you going to read it?"</p> + +<p>"There's no need. I know what it says."</p> + +<p>"Then I'll read it," said Priscilla, ripping it open.</p> + +<p>"Is it a leg or an arm?" Patty inquired with mild curiosity.</p> + +<p>"Neither," said Priscilla; "it's a collar-bone."</p> + +<p>"Oh," murmured Patty.</p> + +<p>"What is it?" demanded Georgie the curious. "Read it out loud."</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> +<div class='right'> +"<span class="smcap">New Haven</span>, November 29.<br /> +</div> + +<p>"Broke collar-bone playing foot-ball. Honest +Injun. Terribly sorry. Better luck next time."</p> + +<div class='right'> +"<span class="smcap">Raoul.</span>"<br /> +</div></div> + +<p>"There will not," observed Patty, "<i>be</i> a next time."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>III</h2> + +<h3>The Impressionable Mr. Todhunter</h3> + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 168px;"> +<img src="images/hquot.png" width="168" height="150" alt="H" title="H" /> +</div> +<div class='unindent'><br /><br />AS the mail been around yet?" called Priscilla to a girl at the other +end of the corridor.</div> + +<p>"Don't believe so. It hasn't been in our room."</p> + +<p>"There she comes now!" and Priscilla swooped down upon the mail-girl. +"Got anything for 399?"</p> + +<p>"Do you want Miss Wyatt's mail too?"</p> + +<p>"Yes; I'll take everything. What a lot! Is that all for us?" And +Priscilla walked down the corridor swinging her note-book by its +shoe-string, and opening envelops as she went. She was presently joined +by Georgie Merriles, likewise swinging a note-book by a shoe-string.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Hello, Pris; going to English? Want me to help carry your mail?"</p> + +<p>"Thank you," said Priscilla; "you may keep the most of it. Now, that," +she added, holding out a blue envelop, "is an advertisement for cold +cream which no lady should be without; and that"—holding out a yellow +envelop—"is an advertisement for beef extract which no brain-worker +should be without; and that"—holding out a white envelop—"is the worst +of all, because it looks like a legitimate letter, and it's nothing but +a 'Dear Madam' thing, telling me my tailor has moved from Twenty-second +to Forty-third Street, and hopes I'll continue to favor him with my +patronage.</p> + +<p>"And here," she went on, turning to her room-mate's correspondence, "is +a cold-cream and a beef-extract letter for Patty, and one from Yale; +that's probably Raoul explaining why he couldn't come to the Prom. It +won't do any good, though. No mortal man can ever make her believe he +didn't have his collar-bone<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span> broken on purpose. And I don't know whom +that's from," Priscilla continued, examining the last letter. "It's +marked 'Hotel A——, New York.' Never heard of it, did you? Never saw +the writing before, either."</p> + +<p>Georgie laughed. "Do you keep tab on all of Patty's correspondents?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, I know the most of them by this time. She usually reads the +interesting ones out loud, and the ones that aren't interesting she +never answers, so they stop writing. Hurry up; the bell's going to +ring"; and they pushed in among the crowd of girls on the steps of the +recitation-hall.</p> + +<p>The bell did ring just as they reached the class-room, and Priscilla +dropped the letters, without comment, into Patty's lap as she went past. +Patty was reading poetry and did not look up. She had assimilated some +ten pages of Shelley since the first bell rang, and as she was not sure +which would be taken up in class, she was now swallowing Wordsworth in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</a></span> +the same voracious manner. Patty's method in Romantic Poetry was to be +very fresh on the first part of the lesson, catch the instructor's eye +early in the hour, make a brilliant recitation, and pass the remainder +of the time in gentle meditation.</p> + +<p>To-day, however, the unwonted bulk of her correspondence diverted her +mind from its immediate duty. She failed to catch the instructor's eye, +and the recitation proceeded without her assistance. Priscilla watched +her from the back seat as she read the Yale letter with a skeptical +frown, and made a grimace over the blue and the yellow; but before she +had reached the Hotel A——, Priscilla was paying attention to the +recitation again. It was coming her way, and she was anxiously forming +an opinion on the essential characteristics of Wordsworth's view of +immortality.</p> + +<p>Suddenly the room was startled by an audible titter from Patty, who +hastily composed her face and assumed a look of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span> vacuous innocence—but +too late. She had caught the instructor's eye at last.</p> + +<p>"Miss Wyatt, what do you consider the most serious limitations of our +author?"</p> + +<p>Miss Wyatt blinked once or twice. This question out of its context was +not illuminating. It was a part of her philosophy, however, never to +flunk flat; she always crawled.</p> + +<p>"Well," she began with an air of profound deliberation, "that question +might be considered in two ways, either from an artistic or a +philosophic standpoint."</p> + +<p>This sounded promising, and the instructor smiled encouragingly. "Yes?" +she said.</p> + +<p>"And yet," continued Patty, after still profounder deliberation, "I +think the same reason will be found to be the ultimate explanation of +both."</p> + +<p>The instructor might have inquired, "Both what?" but she refrained and +merely waited.</p> + +<p>Patty thought she had done enough, but she plunged on desperately: "In +spite of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</a></span> his really deep philosophy we notice a certain—one might +almost say <i>dash</i> about his poetry, and a lack of—er—meditation which +I should attribute to his immaturity and his a—rather wild life. If he +had lived longer I think he might have overcome it in time."</p> + +<p>The class looked dazed, and the corners of the instructor's mouth +twitched. "It is certainly an interesting point of view, Miss Wyatt, +and, as far as I know, entirely original."</p> + +<p>As they were crowding out at the end of the recitation Priscilla pounced +upon Patty. "What on earth were you saying about Wordsworth's youth and +immaturity?" she demanded. "The man lived to be over eighty, and +composed a poem with his last gasp."</p> + +<p>"Wordsworth? I was talking about Shelley."</p> + +<p>"Well, the class wasn't."</p> + +<p>"How should I know?" Patty demanded indignantly. "She said 'our author,' +and I avoided specific details as long as I could."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[47]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Oh, Patty, Patty! and you said he was wild—the lamblike Wordsworth!"</p> + +<p>"What were you laughing at, anyway?" demanded Georgie.</p> + +<p>Patty smiled again. "Why, <i>this</i>" she said, unfolding the Hotel A—— +letter. "It's from an Englishman, Mr. Todhunter, some one my father +discovered last summer and invited out to stay with us for a few days. +I'd forgotten all about him, and here he writes to know whether and when +he may call, and, if so, will it be convenient for him to come to-night. +That's a comprehensive sentence, isn't it? His train gets in at +half-past five and he'll be out about six."</p> + +<p>"He isn't going to take any chances," said Priscilla.</p> + +<p>"No," said Patty; "but I don't mind. I invited him to come out to dinner +some night, though I'd forgotten it. He's really very nice, and, in +spite of what the funny papers say about Englishmen, quite +entertaining."</p> + +<p>"Intentionally or unintentionally?" inquired Georgie.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[48]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Both," said Patty.</p> + +<p>"What's he doing in America?" asked Priscilla. "Not writing a book on +the American Girl, I hope."</p> + +<p>"Not quite as bad as that," said Patty. "He's corresponding for a +newspaper, though." She smiled dreamily. "He's very curious about +college."</p> + +<p>"Patty, I <i>hope</i> you were not guilty of trying to make an Englishman, a +guest in your father's house, believe any of your absurd fabrications!"</p> + +<p>"Of course not," said Patty; "I was most careful in everything I told +him. But," she acknowledged, "he—he gets impressions easily."</p> + +<p>"It is easy to get impressions when one is talking with you," observed +Georgie.</p> + +<p>"He asked me," Patty continued, ignoring this remark, "what we studied +in college! But I remembered that he was an alien in a foreign land, and +I curbed my natural instincts, and outlined the courses in the catalogue +verbatim, and I explained the different methods of instruction, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[49]</a></span> +described the library and laboratories and lecture-rooms."</p> + +<p>"Was he impressed?" asked Priscilla.</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Patty; "I think you might almost say dazed. He asked me +apologetically if we ever did anything to relieve the strain,—had any +amusements, you know,—and I said, oh, yes; we had a Browning and an +Ibsen club, and we sometimes gave Greek tragedies in the original. He +was positively afraid to come near me again, for fear I'd forget and +talk to him in Greek instead of English."</p> + +<p>In view of the facts, Patty's friends considered this last remark +distinctly humorous, for she had flunked her freshman Greek three times, +and had been advised by the faculty to take it over sophomore year.</p> + +<p>"I hope, since he's a newspaper writer," said Priscilla, "that you'll do +something to lighten his impression, or he'll never favor women's +colleges in England."</p> + +<p>"I hadn't thought of that," said Patty; "perhaps I ought."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[50]</a></span></p> + +<p>They had reached the steps of the dormitory. "Let's not go in," said +Georgie; "let's go down to Mrs. Muldoon's and get some chocolate cake."</p> + +<p>"Thank you," said Priscilla; "I'm in training."</p> + +<p>"Soup, then."</p> + +<p>"Can't eat between meals."</p> + +<p>"You come, then, Patty."</p> + +<p>"Sorry, but I've got to take my white dress down to the laundry and have +it pressed."</p> + +<p>"Are you going to dress up for him to the extent of evening clothes?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Patty; "I think I owe it to the American Girl."</p> + +<p>"Well," sighed Georgie, "I'm hungry, but I suppose I might as well go in +and dress that doll for the College Settlement Association. The show's +to-night."</p> + +<p>"Mine's done," said Priscilla; "and Patty wouldn't take one. Did you see +Bonnie Connaught sitting on the back seat in biology this morning, +hemming her doll's petticoat straight through the lecture?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[51]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Really?" laughed Patty. "It's a good thing Professor Hitchcock's +near-sighted."</p> + +<p>The College Settlement Association, by way of parenthesis, was in the +habit of distributing three hundred dolls among the students every year +before Christmas, to be dressed and sent to the settlement in New York. +The dolls were supposed to be so well dressed that the East Side mothers +could use them as models for the clothing of their own children, though +it must be confessed that the tendency among the girls was to strive for +effect and not for detail. On the evening before the dolls were to be +shipped a doll show was regularly held, at which two cents admittance +was charged (stamps accepted) to pay the expressage.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p><span class="smcap">It</span> was ten minutes past six, and Phillips Hall (such of it as was not +late) was dining, when the maid arrived with Mr. Algernon Vivian +Todhunter's card. Patty, radiant in a white evening gown, was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[52]</a></span> trying, +with much squirming, to fasten it in the middle of the back.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Sadie," she called to the maid, "would you mind coming in here and +buttoning my dress? I can't reach it from above or below."</p> + +<p>"You look just beautiful, Miss Wyatt," said Sadie, admiringly.</p> + +<p>Patty laughed. "Do you think I can uphold the honor of the nation?"</p> + +<p>"To be sure, miss," said Sadie, politely.</p> + +<p>Patty ran down the corridor to the door of the reception-room, and then +swept slowly in with what she called an air of continental repose. The +room was empty. She glanced about in some surprise, for she knew that +the two reception-rooms on the other side of the hall were being used +for the doll show. She tiptoed over and peered in through the half-open +door. The room was filled with dolls in rows and tiers; every piece of +furniture was covered with them; and in a far corner, at the end of a +long vista of dolls, appeared<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[53]</a></span> Mr. Algernon Vivian Todhunter, gingerly +sitting on the edge of a sofa, surrounded by flaxen-haired baby dolls, +and awkwardly holding in his lap the three he had displaced.</p> + +<p>Patty drew back behind the door, and spent fully three minutes in +regaining her continental repose; then she entered the room and greeted +Mr. Todhunter effusively. He carefully transferred the dolls to his left +arm and stood up and shook hands.</p> + +<p>"Let me take the little dears," said Patty, kindly; "I'm afraid they're +in your way."</p> +<div class="figleft" style="width: 269px;"> +<img src="images/image_0066.jpg" width="269" height="400" alt="Mr. Algernon Vivian Todhunter, gingerly sitting on the edge of a chair" title="Mr. Algernon Vivian Todhunter, gingerly sitting on the edge of a chair" /> +<span class="caption">Mr. Algernon Vivian Todhunter, gingerly sitting on the edge of a chair</span> +</div> +<p>Mr. Todhunter murmured something about its being a pleasure and a +privilege to hold them.</p> + +<p>Patty plumped up their clothes and rearranged them on the sofa with +motherly solicitude, while Mr. Todhunter watched her gravely, his +national politeness and his reportorial instinct each struggling for the +mastery. Finally he began tentatively:<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[54]</a></span> "I say, Miss Wyatt, do—er—the +young ladies spend much time playing with dolls?"</p> + + +<p>"No," said Patty, candidly; "I don't think you could say they spend +<i>too</i> much. I have never heard of but one girl actually neglecting her +work for it. You mustn't think that we have as many dolls as this here +<i>every</i> night," she went on. "It is rather an unusual occurrence. Once a +year the girls hold what they call a doll show to see who has dressed +her doll the best."</p> + +<p>"Ah, I see," said Mr. Todhunter; "a little friendly rivalry."</p> + +<p>"Purely friendly," said Patty.</p> + +<p>As they started for the dining-room Mr. Todhunter adjusted his monocle +and took a parting look at the doll show.</p> + +<p>"I'm afraid you think us childish, Mr. Todhunter," said Patty.</p> + +<p>"Not at all, Miss Wyatt," he assured her hastily. "I think it quite +charming, you know, and so—er—unexpected. I had always been told that +they played somewhat peculiar games at these women's<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[55]</a></span> colleges, but I +never supposed they did anything so feminine as to play with dolls."</p> + + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p><span class="smcap">When</span> Patty returned to her room that night, she found Georgie and +Priscilla surrounded by grammars and dictionaries, doing German prose. +Her appearance was hailed with a cry of indignant protest.</p> + +<p>"When <i>I</i> have a man," said Priscilla, "I divide him up among my +friends."</p> + +<p>"<i>Especially</i> when he's a curiosity," added Georgie.</p> + +<p>"And we dressed up in grand clothes, and stood in your way coming out of +chapel," went on Priscilla, "and you never even looked at us."</p> + +<p>"Englishmen are so bashful," apologized Patty; "I didn't want to +frighten him."</p> + +<p>Priscilla looked at her suspiciously. "Patty, I hope you didn't impose +on the poor man's credulity."</p> + +<p>"Certainly not!" said Patty, with dignity. "I explained everything he +asked me, and was most careful not to exaggerate. But," she added with +engaging<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[56]</a></span> frankness, "I cannot be responsible for any <i>impressions</i> he +may have obtained. When an Englishman once gets an idea, you know, it's +almost impossible to change it."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[57]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[58]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[59]</a></span></p> + + + +<h2>IV</h2> + +<h3>A Question of Ethics</h3> + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 151px;"> +<img src="images/p.png" width="151" height="150" alt="P" title="P" /> + +</div> +<div class='unindent'><br /><br />ATTY'S class-room methods were the result of a wide experience in the +professorial type of mind. By her senior year she had reduced the matter +of recitation to a system, and could foretell with unvarying precision +the day she would be called on and the question she would be asked. Her +tactics varied with the subject and the instructor, and were the result +of a penetration and knowledge of human nature that might have +accomplished something in a worthier cause.</div> + +<p>In chemistry, for example, her instructor was a man who had outlived any +early illusions in regard to the superior conscientiousness of girls +over boys. He was not by nature a suspicious person, but a long +experience in teaching had inculcated<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[60]</a></span> an inordinate wariness which was +sometimes out of season. He allowed no napping in his classes, and those +who did not pay attention suffered. Patty discovered his weakness early +in the year, and planned her campaign accordingly. As long as she did +not understand the experiment in hand, she would watch him with a face +beaming with intelligence; but when she did understand, and wished to +recite, she would let her eyes wander to the window with a dreamy, +far-away smile, and, being asked a question, would come back to the +realities of chemistry with a start, and, after a moment of ostentatious +pondering, make a brilliant recitation. It must be confessed that her +moments of abstraction were rare; she was far too often radiantly +interested.</p> + +<p>In French her tactics were exactly opposite. The instructor, with all +the native politeness of his race, called on those only who caught his +eye and appeared willing and anxious to recite. This made the matter +comparatively simple, but still required<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[61]</a></span> considerable finesse. Patty +dropped her pen, spilled the pages from her note-book, tied her +shoe-string, and even sneezed opportunely in order not to catch his eye +at inconvenient moments. The rest of the class, who were not artists, +contented themselves with merely lowering their eyes as he looked along +the line—a method which in Patty's scornful estimation said as plainly +as words, "Please don't call on me; I don't know."</p> + +<p>But with Professor Cairnsley, who taught philosophy, it was more +difficult to form a working hypothesis. He had grown old in the service +of the college, and after thirty years' experience of girl-nature he was +still as unsuspiciously trustful as he had been in the beginning. Taking +it for granted that his pupils were as interested in the contemplation +of philosophic truths as he himself, the professor conducted his +recitations without a suspicion of guile, and based his procedure +entirely upon the inspiration of the moment. The key to his method had +always<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[62]</a></span> remained a mystery, and several generations of classes had +searched for it in vain. Some averred that he called on every seventh +girl; others, that he drew lots. Patty triumphantly announced early in +the course that she had discovered the secret at last—that on Monday he +called on the red-haired girls; on Tuesday, those with yellow hair; on +Wednesday and Thursday, those with brown; and on Friday, those with +black. But this solution, like the others, was found to break down in +actual practice; and Patty, for one, discovered that it required all her +ingenuity, and even a good deal of studying, to maintain her reputation +for brilliancy in Professor Cairnsley's classes. And she cared about +maintaining it, for she liked the professor and was one of his favorite +pupils. She had known his wife before she entered college, and she often +called upon them in their home, and, in short, exemplified the ideal +relations between faculty and students.</p> + +<p>Owing to the pressure of many interests,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[63]</a></span> Patty's researches into +philosophy were not as deep as the intentions of the course, but she had +a very good working knowledge, which, in its details, would have +astonished Professor Cairnsley could he have got behind the scenes. +Though her knowledge was not based strictly on the text-book, her +reputation in the class was good, and, as Patty admitted with a sigh, +"It's a great strain on the imagination to keep up a reputation in +philosophy."</p> + +<p>It had been established, indeed, as far back as her sophomore year, when +the psychology class was awed into silence by its first introduction to +the abstractions of science, and Patty alone had dared to lift her +voice. The professor, one morning, had been placidly lecturing along on +the subject of sensation, and in the course of the lecture had remarked: +"It is probable that the individual experiences all the primary +sensations during the first few months of infancy, and that in after +life there is no such thing as a new sensation."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[64]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Professor Cairnsley," Patty piped up, "did you ever shoot the chutes?"</p> + +<p>The ice was broken at last, and the class felt at home, even in the +somewhat deep waters of philosophy; and Patty, however undeservedly, had +gained the credit of having a deeper insight than most into matters +psychical.</p> + +<p>And so into her senior year, when she entered upon the study of ethics, +she carried along an unearned and fragile reputation, built upon +subterfuges and likely to crumble at the slightest touch. She had +maintained it very creditably up to the Christmas vacation, and had +argued upon the ultimate ground of moral obligation and the origin of +conscience quite as intelligently as though she had previously read what +the text-book had to say on the subject. But when they had commenced the +study of specific theologies, based upon definite historical facts, +Patty found her imagination of little use, and on several occasions it +had been purely good luck that had saved her from exposure. Once<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[65]</a></span> the +bell had rung at an opportune moment, and twice she had been able to +avert a direct answer by leading the discussion into side issues. She +realized, however, that fortune would not always favor her, and as the +professor usually forgot to call the roll, she formed the nefarious +practice of cutting class when she did not have her lesson.</p> + +<p>For a week or so in particular, her pressure of work in other directions +(not all of them scholastic) had prevented her from devoting her usual +amount of energy to the task of maintaining her philosophy reputation, +and she had, without conscience, cut ethics several days in succession, +and had failed to comment upon the fact to the professor.</p> + +<p>"What did he lecture about in ethics—those recitations I missed?" she +inquired of Priscilla, one afternoon.</p> + +<p>"Swedenborg."</p> + +<p>"Swedenborg," repeated Patty, dreamily. "He got up a new religion, +didn't he? Or was it a new system of gymnastics?<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[66]</a></span> I've heard about him, +but I don't seem to remember any details."</p> + +<p>"You'd better make him up; he's important."</p> + +<p>"I dare say; but I've lived twenty-one years without knowing about him, +and I can wait a month longer. I'm saving up Confucius and the Jesuits +for examination-time, and I'll add Swedenborg to the list."</p> + +<p>"You'd better not. Professor Cairnsley's fond of him, and is likely to +pop a special examination at any moment."</p> + +<p>"Not Professor Cairnsley," laughed Patty. "He doesn't want to waste the +time. He's going to lecture straight on for two weeks—nice man; I see +it in his eye. What I admire in a professor is a good, steady, plodding +disposition that doesn't go in for sensational surprises."</p> + +<p>"You'll find yourself mistaken some day," warned Priscilla.</p> + +<p>"No danger, my dear Cassandra. I know Professor Cairnsley, and Professor +Cairnsley thinks he knows me; and we just get along together +beautifully. I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[67]</a></span> wish there were more like him," Patty added with a sigh.</p> + +<p>Professor Cairnsley began a lecture the next morning which was evidently +calculated to extend through the hour, and Patty cast a triumphant +glance at Priscilla as she unscrewed the top of her fountain-pen and +settled down to work. In the course of the lecture, however, he had +occasion to refer to Swedenborg, and, pausing a moment, he casually +asked a girl on the front seat for a résumé of Swedenborg's philosophy. +She, unfortunately confusing him with Schopenhauer, glibly attributed to +him doctrines which would have outraged his soul could he have heard +them. It is written that the worm will turn, and the professor's bland +smile deserted him as he passed the question to a second girl without +much better result. The class in general had evidently been laboring +under Patty's delusion that the time had not come in which to learn back +notes. Amazed and indignant, he pursued the matter with a persistency +and a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[68]</a></span> rancor he seldom showed. He began going straight through the +class, growing more and more sarcastic with each recitation.</p> + +<p>As she saw him finish with the row in front and begin on her row, Patty +knew that she was doomed. She racked her brain for some memory of +Swedenborg. He was a name to her and nothing more. He might have been an +ancient Greek or a modern American, for all she knew. As Professor +Cairnsley came along the line he was gradually eliciting from the +terrified class the superficial points which were more or less common to +all philosophers. Patty perceived that her imagination could not help +her out, that for once the placid professor was on the war-path, and +that Swedenborg, and nothing but Swedenborg, would serve. She cast an +agonized glance up at Priscilla, and Priscilla grinned back with "I told +you so" written on every feature.</p> + +<p>Patty looked about desperately. The lecture-room was shaped like an +amphitheater,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[69]</a></span> with part of the seats on a level with the main floor, +and the rest rising in tiers. Patty sat on the main floor, well toward +the rear. She could barely see the professor's head, but he was coming +irrevocably. She did not have to see very clearly to know that. The girl +before her answered wildly; the professor frowned, and, looking down at +his roll-book, slowly and deliberately made a zero.</p> + +<p>When he raised his eyes again Patty's seat was empty. She was kneeling +on the floor, with her head bowed behind the girl in front. The +unconscious professor passed over her bent head and called on the girl +on the other side, who coughed hysterically once or twice, and flunked +flat; and while he was crediting the fact in his roll-book Patty resumed +her seat. A ripple of laughter ran around the room; the professor +frowned, and remarked that he saw no occasion for amusement. The bell +rang, and the class somewhat sheepishly filed out.</p> + +<p>That afternoon Patty burst into the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[70]</a></span> study where Priscilla and Georgie +Merriles were making tea. "Did you ever think I had much of a +conscience?" she demanded.</p> + +<p>"Never thought it was your strong point," said Georgie.</p> + +<p>"Well, I've got a perfectly tremendous one! What do you think I've been +doing?"</p> + +<p>"Making up your ethics lectures," suggested Priscilla.</p> + +<p>"Worse than that."</p> + +<p>"You <i>haven't</i> been to gym, Patty!" said Georgie.</p> + +<p>"Goodness, no! I'm not so far gone as that. Well, I'll tell you. I met +Professor Cairnsley by the gate and walked in with him, and, if you +please, he complimented me on my work in ethics!"</p> + +<p>"That ought to have been embarrassing," said Georgie.</p> + +<p>"It was," acknowledged Patty. "I told him I didn't really know as much +as he thought I did."</p> + +<p>"What did he say?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[71]</a></span></p> + +<p>"He said I was too modest. He's such a trustful old man, you know, that +you sort of hate to deceive him. And what do you think? I told him about +the seat!"</p> + +<p>Priscilla smiled approvingly upon her usually recreant room-mate. "Well, +Patty, you certainly are better than I gave you credit for!"</p> + +<p>"Thank you," murmured Patty.</p> + +<p>"I begin to believe you <i>have</i> got a conscience," said Georgie.</p> + +<p>"An excellent one," said Patty, complacently.</p> + +<p>"It pays in the end," said Priscilla.</p> + +<p>"It does," agreed Patty. "Professor Cairnsley said he would explain +Swedenborg to me himself, and he invited me over to dinner to-night!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[72]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[73]</a></span> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[74]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[75]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>V</h2> + +<h3>The Elusive Kate Ferris</h3> + + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 151px;"> +<img src="images/t.png" width="151" height="150" alt="T" title="T" /> +</div> +<div class='unindent'><br /><br />HE mysterious Kate Ferris, who kept Priscilla on the verge of nervous +prostration for a whole semester, entered upon her college career in an +entirely unpremeditated and impromptu manner. It began one day away back +in November. Georgie Merriles and Patty had just strolled home from the +athletic field, where they had been witnessing the start of a +paper-chase cross country, in which Priscilla was impersonating a fox. +As they entered the study, Georgie stopped to examine some loose sheets +of paper which were impaled upon the door.</div> + +<p>"What's this, Patty?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, that's the registration-list for the German Club. Priscilla's +secretary, you know, and every one who wants to join<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[76]</a></span> comes here. The +study has been so full of freshmen all the time that I told her to hang +it on the door and let them join outside; it works beautifully." Patty +turned the leaves and ran her eyes down the list of sprawling +signatures. "It's a popular organization, isn't it? The freshmen are +simply scrambling to get in."</p> + +<p>"They're trying to show Fräulein Scherin how much interest they take in +the subject," Georgie laughed.</p> + +<p>Patty picked up the pencil. "Would you like to join? I know Priscilla +would be gratified."</p> + +<p>"No, thank you; I pay club dues enough already."</p> + +<p>"I'm afraid I'm not exactly eligible myself, as I don't know any German. +It's such a beautifully sharp pencil, though, that I hate not to write +with it." Patty poised the pencil a moment, and abstractedly traced the +name "Kate Ferris."</p> + +<p>Georgie laughed. "If there should happen to be a Kate Ferris in college, +she would be surprised to find herself a member<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[77]</a></span> of the German Club," +and the incident was forgotten.</p> + +<p>A few days later the two came in from class, to find Priscilla and the +president of the German Club sitting on the divan with their heads +together, frantically turning the leaves of the catalogue.</p> + +<p>"She isn't a sophomore," the president announced. "She <i>must</i> be a +freshman, Priscilla. Look again."</p> + +<p>"I've gone over this list three times, and there isn't a single Ferris +down."</p> + +<p>Georgie and Patty exchanged glances and inquired the trouble.</p> + +<p>"A girl named Kate Ferris has registered for the German Club, and we've +gone through all the classes, and there simply isn't any such girl in +college."</p> + +<p>"Possibly a special," Patty suggested.</p> + +<p>"Of course! Why didn't we think of that?" And Priscilla turned to the +list of special students. "No; she isn't here."</p> + +<p>"Let me look"; and Patty ran her eyes down the column. "You've mistaken<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[78]</a></span> +the name," she remarked, handing the book back with a shrug.</p> + +<p>Priscilla produced the registration-list, and triumphantly exhibited an +unmistakable Kate Ferris.</p> + +<p>"They forgot to put her in the catalogue."</p> + +<p>"I never knew them to make such a mistake before," said the president, +dubiously. "I don't believe we'd better put her in the roll-book till we +find out who she is."</p> + +<p>"Then you'll hurt her feelings," said Georgie. "Freshmen are terribly +sensitive about being slighted."</p> + +<p>"Oh, very well; it doesn't matter." And Kate Ferris was accordingly +enrolled in the club records.</p> + +<p>Several weeks later Priscilla was engaged in laboriously turning the +minutes of the last meeting into grammatical German, and as she closed +the dictionary and grammar with a sigh of relief, she remarked to Patty: +"Do you know, it's very queer about that Kate Ferris. She<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[79]</a></span> hasn't paid +her dues, and, as far as I can make out, she hasn't attended a single +meeting. Wouldn't you take her name off the roll? I don't believe she's +in college any more."</p> + +<p>"You might as well," said Patty, and she listlessly watched Priscilla as +she scratched out the name with a penknife. Patty never made the mistake +of over-acting.</p> + +<p>The next morning, as Priscilla came in from a class, she found a note on +her door-block, written in the perpendicular characters of Kate Ferris. +It ran:</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p><span class="smcap">Dear Miss Pond</span>: I came to pay my German Club dues, +and as you are not in, I have left the money on +the bookcase. Am sorry to have missed so many +meetings, but have not been able to attend classes +lately.</p><div class='right'> <span class="smcap">Kate Ferris</span>. </div></div> + +<p>Priscilla exhibited the note to the president as a tangible proof that +Kate Ferris still existed, and reinscribed the name in the roll-book.</p> + +<p>A few weeks later she found a second note on her door-block:<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[80]</a></span></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p><span class="smcap">Dear Miss Pond</span>: As I am very busy with my class +work, I find that I have not time to attend the +German Club meetings, and so have decided to +resign. I left my letter of resignation on the +bookcase.</p> + +<div class='right'> +<span class="smcap">Kate Ferris.</span><br /> +</div> +</div> + +<p>As Priscilla scratched the name out of the roll-book again she remarked +to Patty: "I am glad this Kate Ferris has left the club at last. She has +caused me more trouble than all the rest of the members put together."</p> + +<p>The next morning a third note appeared on the block:</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p><span class="smcap">Dear Miss Pond</span>: I happened to mention the fact of +my having resigned from the German Club to +Fräulein Scherin last night, and she said that the +club would help me in my work, and advised me to +stay in it. So I shall be much obliged if you will +not present my letter at the meeting after all, as +I have decided to follow her advice.</p> + +<div class='right'> +<span class="smcap">Kate Ferris</span>.<br /> +</div> +</div> + +<p>Priscilla tossed the note to Patty with a groan, and getting out the +roll-book, she turned to the F's and reënrolled Kate Ferris.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[81]</a></span></p> + +<p>Patty sympathetically watched the process over her shoulder. "The book +is getting so thin in that spot," she laughed, "that Kate Ferris is +actually coming through on the other side. If she changes her mind many +more times there won't be anything left."</p> + +<p>"I'm going to ask Fräulein Scherin about her," Priscilla declared. +"She's made me so much trouble that I'm curious to see what she looks +like."</p> + +<p>She did ask Fräulein Scherin, but Fräulein denied all knowledge of the +girl. "I have so many freshmen," she apologized, "I cannot all of them +with their queer names remember."</p> + +<p>Priscilla inquired about Kate Ferris from the freshmen she knew, but +though all of them thought that the name sounded familiar, none of them +could exactly place her. She was variously described as tall and dark +and small and light, but further inquiry always proved that the girl +they had in mind was some one else.</p> + +<p>Priscilla kept hearing about the girl on all sides, but could never +catch a glimpse<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[82]</a></span> of her. Miss Ferris called several times on business, +but Priscilla always happened to be out. Her name was posted on the +bulletin-board for having library books that were overdue. She even +wrote a paper for one of the German Club meetings (Georgie was not a +facile German scholar, and it had required a whole Saturday); but owing +to the fact that she was suddenly called out of town, she did not read +it in person.</p> + +<p>A month or two after Kate Ferris's advent, Priscilla had friends +visiting her from New York, for whom she gave a tea in the study.</p> + +<p>"I am going to invite Kate Ferris," she announced. "I <i>insist</i> upon +finding out what she looks like."</p> + +<p>"Do," said Patty. "I should like to find out myself."</p> + +<p>The invitation was despatched, and on the next day Priscilla received a +formal acceptance.</p> + +<p>"It's strange that she should send an acceptance for a tea," she +remarked as she<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[83]</a></span> read it, "but I'm glad to get it, anyway. I like to +feel sure that I'm to see her at last."</p> + +<p>On the evening of the tea, after the guests had gone and the furniture +had been moved back, the weary hostesses, in somewhat rumpled evening +dresses (a considerable crush results when fifty are entertained in a +room whose utmost capacity is fifteen), were reëntertaining one or two +friends on the lettuce sandwiches and cakes the obliging guests had +failed to consume. The company and the clothes having passed in review, +the conversation flagged a little, and Georgie suddenly asked: "Was Kate +Ferris here? I was so busy passing cakes that I didn't look, and I +wanted to see her especially!"</p> + +<p>"That's so!" Patty exclaimed. "I didn't see her, either. She's the most +abnormally inconspicuous person I ever heard of. What did she look like, +Pris?"</p> + +<p>Priscilla knit her brows. "She couldn't have come. I kept watching for +her all the evening. It's strange, isn't it?—when<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[84]</a></span> she was so careful +to send an acceptance. I'm growing positively morbid over the girl; I +begin to think she's invisible."</p> + +<p>"I begin to think so myself," said Patty.</p> + +<p>The next morning's mail brought a bunch of violets and an apology from +Kate Ferris. "She had been unavoidably detained."</p> + +<p>"It's positively uncanny!" Priscilla declared. "I shall go to the +registrar and tell her that this Kate Ferris is neither down in the +catalogue nor the college directory, and find out where she lives."</p> + +<p>"Don't do anything reckless," Georgie pleaded. "Take what the gods send +and be grateful."</p> + +<p>But Priscilla was as good as her word, and she returned from the +registrar's office flushed and defiant. "She insists that there isn't +any such person in college, and that I must have made a mistake in the +name! Did you ever hear anything so absurd?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[85]</a></span></p> + +<p>"That seems to me the only reasonable explanation," Patty agreed +amicably. "Perhaps it is Harris instead of Ferris."</p> + +<p>Priscilla faced her ominously. "You read the name yourself. It was as +plain as printing."</p> + +<p>"We're all liable to make mistakes," Patty murmured soothingly.</p> + +<p>"Do you know," said Georgie, "I begin to think it's all a hallucination, +and that there really isn't any Kate Ferris. It's strange, of course, +but not any stranger than some of those cases you read about in +psychology."</p> + +<p>"Hallucinations don't send flowers," said Priscilla, hotly; and she +stalked out of the room, leaving Patty and Georgie to review the +campaign.</p> + +<p>"I'm afraid it's gone far enough," said Georgie. "If she bothers the +office very much there'll be an official investigation."</p> + +<p>"I'm afraid so," sighed Patty. "It's been very entertaining, but she is +really getting sensitive on the subject, and I don't<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[86]</a></span> dare mention Kate +Ferris's name when we're alone."</p> + +<p>"Shall we tell her?"</p> + +<p>Patty shook her head. "Not just now—I shouldn't dare. She believes in +corporal punishment."</p> + +<p>A few days later Priscilla received another note directed in the hand +she had come to dread. She threw it into the waste-basket unopened; but, +curiosity prevailing, she drew it out again and read it:</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p><span class="smcap">Dear Miss Pond:</span> As I have been obliged to leave +college on account of my health, I inclose my +resignation to the German Club. I thank you very +sincerely for your kindness to me this year, and +shall always look back upon our friendship as one +of the happiest memories of my college life.</p> + +<div class='right'> +<span style="margin-right: 2em;">Yours sincerely,</span><br /> +<span class="smcap">Kate Ferris.</span><br /> +</div></div> + +<p>When Patty came in she found Priscilla silently and grimly scratching a +hole into the roll-book where Kate Ferris's name had been.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[87]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Changed her mind again?" Patty asked pleasantly.</p> + +<p>"She's left college," Priscilla snapped, "and don't you ever mention her +name to me again."</p> + +<p>Patty sighed sympathetically and remarked to the room in general: "It's +sort of pathetic to have your whole college life summed up in a hole in +the German Club archives. I can't help feeling sorry for her!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[88]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>VI</h2> + +<h3>A Story with Four Sequels</h3> + + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 149px;"> +<img src="images/i.png" width="149" height="150" alt="I" title="I" /> +</div> +<div class='unindent'><br /><br />T was Saturday, and Patty had been working ever since breakfast, with a +brief pause for luncheon, on a paper entitled "Shakspere, the Man." At +four o'clock she laid down her pen, pushed her manuscript into the +waste-basket, and faced her room-mate defiantly.</div> + +<p>"What do I care about Shakspere, the man? He's been dead three hundred +years."</p> + +<p>Priscilla laughed unfeelingly. "What do I care about a frog's nervous +system, for the matter of that? But I am writing an interesting +monograph on it, just the same."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Ah, I dare say you are making a valuable addition to the subject."</p> + +<p>"It's quite as valuable as your addition to Shaksperiana."</p> + +<p>Patty dropped a voluble sigh and turned to the window to note that it +was raining dismally.</p> + +<p>"Oh, hand it in," said Priscilla, comfortingly. "You've worked on it all +day, and it's probably no worse than the most of your things."</p> + +<p>"No sense to it," said Patty.</p> + +<p>"They're used to that," laughed Priscilla.</p> + +<p>"What are you laughing at, anyway?" Patty asked crossly. "I don't see +anything to laugh at in this beastly place. Always having to do what you +don't want to do when you most don't want to do it. Just the same, day +after day: get up by bells, eat by bells, sleep by bells. I feel like +some sort of a delinquent living in an asylum."</p> + +<p>Priscilla treated this outburst with the silence it deserved, and Patty +turned back<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[93]</a></span> to her perusal of the rain-soaked campus.</p> + +<p>"I wish something would happen," she said discontentedly. "I think I'll +put on a mackintosh and go out in search of adventure."</p> + +<p>"Pneumonia will happen if you do."</p> + +<p>"What business has it to be raining, anyway, when it ought to be +snowing?"</p> + +<p>As this was unanswerable, Priscilla returned to her frogs, and Patty +drummed gloomily on the window-pane until a maid appeared with a card.</p> + +<p>"A caller?" cried Patty. "A missionary! A rescuer! A deliverer! Heaven +send it's for me!"</p> + +<p>"Miss Pond," said Sadie, laying the card on the table.</p> + +<p>Patty pounced upon it. "'Mr. Frederick K. Stanthrope.' Who's he, Pris?"</p> + +<p>Priscilla wrinkled up her brows. "I don't know; I never heard of him. +What do you suppose it can be?"</p> + +<p>"An adventure—I know it's an adventure. Probably your uncle, that you<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[94]</a></span> +never heard of, has just died in the South Sea Islands, and left you a +fortune because you're his namesake; or else you're a countess by +rights, and were stolen from your cradle in infancy, and he's the lawyer +come to tell you about it. I think it might have happened to me, when +I'm so bored to death! But hurry up and tell me about it, at least; a +second-hand adventure's better than no adventure at all. Yes, your hair +is all right; never mind looking in the glass." And Patty pushed her +room-mate out of the door, and, sitting down at her desk again, quite +cheerfully pulled her discarded paper out of the waste-basket and began +re-reading it with evident approval.</p> + +<p>Priscilla returned before she had finished. "He didn't ask for me at +all," she announced. "He asked for Miss McKay."</p> + +<p>"Miss McKay?"</p> + +<p>"That junior with the hair," she explained a trifle vaguely.</p> + +<p>"How disgusting!" cried Patty. "I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[95]</a></span> had it all planned how I was going to +live with you in your castle up in the Hartz Mountains, and now it turns +out that Miss McKay is the countess, and I don't even know her. What did +the man look like, and what did he do?"</p> + +<p>"Well, he looked rather frightened, and didn't do anything but stammer. +There were two men in the reception-room, and of course I picked out the +wrong one and begged his pardon and asked if he were Mr. Stanthrope. He +said no; his name was Wiggins. So then the only thing left for me to do +was to beg the other one's pardon.</p> + +<p>"He was sitting in that high-backed green chair, with his eyes glued to +his shoes, and holding his hat and cane in front of him like +breastworks, as if he were preparing to repel an attack. He didn't look +very approachable, but I boldly accosted him and asked if he were Mr. +Stanthrope. He stood up and stammered and blushed and looked as if he +wanted to deny it, but finally acknowledged<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[96]</a></span> that he was, and then stood +politely waiting for me to state my business! I explained, and he +stammered some more, and finally got out that he had called to see Miss +McKay, and that the maid must have made a mistake. He was quite cross +about it, you know, and acted as if I had insulted him; and the other +man—the horrible Wiggins one—laughed, and then looked out of the +window and pretended he hadn't. I apologized,—though I couldn't for the +life of me see what there was to apologize for,—and told him I would +send the maid for Miss McKay, and backed out."</p> + +<p>"Is that all?" Patty asked disappointedly. "If I couldn't have a better +adventure than that, I shouldn't have any."</p> + +<p>"But the funny thing is that when I told Sadie, she <i>insisted</i> that he +had asked for me."</p> + +<p>"Ha! The plot thickens, after all. What does it mean? Did he look like a +detective, or merely a pickpocket?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[97]</a></span></p> + +<p>"He looked like a very ordinarily embarrassed young man."</p> + +<p>Patty shook her head dejectedly. "There's a mystery somewhere, but I +don't see that it affords much entertainment. I dare say that when Miss +McKay came he told her he hadn't asked for her at all; he had asked for +Miss Higginbotham. The only explanation I can think of is that he is +insane, and there are so many insane people in the world that it isn't +even interesting."</p> + +<p>Patty recounted the story of Priscilla's caller at the dinner-table that +night.</p> + +<p>"I know the sequel," said Lucille Carter. "The other man, the Mr. +Wiggins, is Bonnie Connaught's cousin; and he told her about some young +man who came out in the car with him, and asked for Miss Pond at the +door, and then all of a sudden seemed to change his mind, and went +tearing down the corridor after the maid, yelling, "Hi, there! Hi, +there!" at the top of his voice; but he couldn't catch her, and when +Miss Pond came he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[98]</a></span> pretended he had asked for some one else."</p> + +<p>"Is that all?" asked Patty. "I don't think it is much of a sequel. It +just proves that there's a plot against Priscilla's life, and I already +knew that. I intend to ask Miss McKay about him. I don't know her, +except by sight, but in a case of life and death like this, I don't +think it's necessary to wait for an introduction."</p> + +<p>The next evening Patty announced: "Sequel number two! Mr. Frederick K. +Stanthrope lives in New York, and is Miss McKay's brother's best friend. +She has only met him once before, and doesn't know any of his past +affiliations. But the queer thing is that he never mentioned to her +anything about Priscilla. Shouldn't you naturally think he would have +told her about such a funny mistake?</p> + +<p>"In my opinion," Patty continued solemnly, "it was plainly premeditated. +He is undoubtedly a villain in disguise, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[99]</a></span> he used his acquaintance +with Miss McKay as a cloak to elude detection. My theory is this: He got +Priscilla's name out of the catalogue, and came here intending to murder +her for her <i>jools</i>; but when he saw how big she was he was scared and +so abandoned his dastardly intent. Now if he had chosen me, my body +would, at this moment, have been concealed behind the sofa, and my +class-pin reposing in the murderer's pocket."</p> + +<p>Patty shuddered. "Think what I escaped. And all the time I was grumbling +because nothing ever happens here!"</p> + +<p>A few days later she appeared at the table with a further announcement: +"I have the pleasure of offering for your perusal, young ladies, the +third and last sequel in the great Stanthrope-Pond-McKay mystery. And I +hereby take the opportunity of apologizing to Mr. Stanthrope for my +unworthy suspicions. He is not a burglar, nor a detective, nor a +murderer, nor even a lawyer, but just a poor young man with a buried +romance."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[100]</a></span></p> + +<p>"How did you find out?"—in a chorus of voices.</p> + +<p>"I just met Miss McKay in the hall, and she has been in New York, where +her brother told her the particulars. It seems that three or four years +ago Mr. Frederick K. Stanthrope was engaged to a girl here in college +named Alice Pond—she is now Mrs. Hiram Brown, but that has nothing to +do with the story.</p> + +<p>"Being in town last Saturday on business, he decided to run out and call +on Miss McKay, as he was such a friend of her brother's—and also for +the sake of old times. He amused himself all the way out in the car by +resurrecting his buried romance, and he kept getting more and more +pensive with every mile. When he finally reached the door and handed his +card to the maid, he abstractedly called for Miss Pond just as he used +to do four years ago. He didn't realize at first what he had done. Then +it came over him in a flash, but he couldn't catch Sadie. He knew, of +course, that the other man had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[101]</a></span> heard, and he sat there scared to death, +trying to think of some plausible excuse, and momentarily expecting a +strange Miss Pond to pop in and demand an explanation.</p> + +<p>"Sure enough, the curtains parted, and a tall, beautiful, stately +creature (I quote Miss McKay's brother) swept into the room, and, +approaching the wrong man, asked him in haughty tones if he were Mr. +Frederick K. Stanthrope. He very properly denied it, whereupon there was +nothing for the right Mr. Stanthrope to do but stand up and acknowledge +it like a man, which he did; but there he stuck. His imagination was +numbed, paralyzed; so he turned it off on poor Sadie, and all the time +he knew that the other man knew that he was lying. And that is all," +Patty finished. "It's not much of a story, but such as it is, it's a +blessing to have it concluded."</p> + +<p>"Patty," called Priscilla, from the other end of the table, "have you +been telling them that absurd story?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[102]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Why not?" asked Patty. "Having heard so many sequels, they naturally +wanted to hear the last."</p> + +<p>Priscilla laughed. "But yours doesn't happen to be the last. I know a +still later one."</p> + +<p>"Later than Patty's?" the table demanded.</p> + +<p>"Yes, later than Patty's. It isn't really a sequel; it's just an +appendix. I shouldn't tell you, only you'll find it out, so I might as +well. Miss McKay has invited two men for the junior party, and both have +accepted. As two men are hard to manage, she has (by request) asked me +to take care of one of them—namely, Mr. Frederick K. Stanthrope."</p> + +<p>Patty sighed. "I see a whole series of sequels stretching away into the +future. It's worse than the Elsie Books!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[103]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[104]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[105]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>VII</h2> + +<h3>In Pursuit of Old English</h3> + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 168px;"> +<img src="images/hquot.png" width="168" height="150" alt="H" title="H" /> +</div> +<div class='unindent'><br /><br /> +ELLO, Patty! Have you read the bulletin-board this morning?" called +Cathy Fair, as she caught up with Patty on the way home from a +third-hour recitation.</div> + +<p>"No," said Patty; "I think it's a bad habit. You see too many unpleasant +things there."</p> + +<p>"Well, there's certainly an unpleasant one to-day. Miss Skelling wishes +the Old English class to be provided with writing materials this +afternoon."</p> + +<p>Patty stopped with a groan. "I think it's absolutely abominable to give +an examination without a word of warning."</p> + +<p>"Not an examination," quoted Cathy;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[106]</a></span> "just a 'little test to see how +much you know.'"</p> + +<p>"I don't know a thing," wailed Patty—"not a blessed thing."</p> + +<p>"Nonsense, Patty; you know more than any one else in the class."</p> + +<p>"Bluff—it's all pure bluff. I come in strong on the literary criticism +and the general discussions, and she never realizes that I don't know a +word of the grammar."</p> + +<p>"You've got two hours. You can cut your classes and review it up."</p> + +<p>"Two hours!" said Patty, sadly. "I need two days. I've never learned it, +I tell you. The Anglo-Saxon grammar is a thing no mortal can carry in +his head, and I thought I might as well wait and learn it before +examinations."</p> + +<p>"I don't wish to appear unfeeling," laughed Cathy, "but I should say, my +dear, that it serves you right."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I dare say," said Patty. "You are as bad as Priscilla"; and she +trailed gloomily homeward.</p> + +<p>She found her friends reviewing biology<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[107]</a></span> and eating olives. "Have one?" +asked Lucille Carter, who, provided with a hat-pin by way of fork, was +presiding over the bottle for the moment.</p> + +<p>"No, thanks," returned Patty, in the tone of one who has exhausted life +and longs for death.</p> + +<p>"What's the matter?" inquired Priscilla. "You don't mean to say that +woman has given you another special topic?"</p> + +<p>"Worse than that!" and Patty laid bare the tragedy.</p> + +<p>A sympathetic silence followed; they realized that while she was, +perhaps, not strictly deserving of sympathy, still her impending fate +was of the kind that might overtake any one.</p> + +<p>"You know, Pris," said Patty, miserably, "that I simply <i>can't</i> pass."</p> + +<p>"No," said Priscilla, soothingly; "I don't believe you can."</p> + +<p>"I shall flunk <i>flat</i>—absolutely <i>flat</i>. Miss Skelling will never have +any confidence in me again, and will make me<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[108]</a></span> recite every bit of +grammar for the rest of the semester."</p> + +<p>"I should think you'd cut," ventured Georgie—that being, in her +opinion, the most obvious method of escaping an examination.</p> + +<p>"I can't. I just met Miss Skelling in the hall five minutes before the +blow fell, and she knows I'm alive and able to be about; besides, the +class meets again to-morrow morning, and I'd have to cram all night or +cut that too."</p> + +<p>"Why don't you go to Miss Skelling and frankly explain the situation," +suggested Lucille the virtuous, "and ask her to let you off for a day or +two? She would like you all the better for it."</p> + +<p>"Will you listen to the guileless babe!" said Patty. "What is there to +explain, may I ask? I can't very well tell her that I prefer not to +learn the lessons as she gives them out, but think it easier to wait and +cram them up at one fell swoop, just before examinations. That <i>would</i> +ingratiate myself in her favor!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[109]</a></span></p> + +<p>"It's your own fault," said Priscilla.</p> + +<p>Patty groaned. "I was just waiting to hear you say that! You always do."</p> + +<p>"It's always true. Where are you going?" as Patty started for the door.</p> + +<p>"I am going," said Patty, "to ask Mrs. Richards to give me a new +room-mate: one who will understand and appreciate me, and sympathize +with my afflictions."</p> + +<p>Patty walked gloomily down the corridor, lost in meditation. Her way led +past the door of the doctor's office, which was standing invitingly +open. Three or four girls were sitting around the room, laughing and +talking and waiting their turns. Patty glanced in, and a radiant smile +suddenly lightened her face, but it was instantly replaced by a look of +settled sadness. She walked in and dropped into an arm-chair with a +sigh.</p> + +<p>"What's the matter, Patty? You look as if you had melancholia."</p> + +<p>Patty smiled apathetically. "Not quite so bad as that," she murmured, +and leaned back and closed her eyes.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[110]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"> +<img src="images/image_0124.jpg" width="600" height="390" alt="What's the matter, Patty?" title="What's the matter, Patty?" /> +<span class="caption">What's the matter, Patty?</span> +</div> + +<p>"Next," said the doctor from the doorway; but as she caught sight of +Patty she walked over and shook her arm. "Is this Patty Wyatt? What is +the matter with you, child?"</p> + +<p>Patty opened her eyes with a start. "Nothing," she said; "I'm just a +little tired."</p> + +<p>"Come in here with me."</p> + +<p>"It's not my turn," objected Patty.</p> + +<p>"That makes no difference," returned the doctor.</p> + +<p>Patty dropped limply into the consulting-chair.</p> + +<p>"Let me see your tongue. Um-m—isn't coated very much. Your pulse seems +regular, though possibly a trifle feverish. Have you been working hard?"</p> + +<p>"I don't think I've been working any harder than usual," said Patty, +truthfully.</p> + +<p>"Sitting up late nights?"</p> + +<p>Patty considered. "I was up rather late twice last week," she confessed.</p> + +<p>"If you girls persist in studying until<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[111]</a></span> all hours of the night, I +don't know what we doctors can do."</p> + +<p>Patty did not think it necessary to explain that it was a Welsh-rabbit +party on each occasion, so she merely sighed and looked out of the +window.</p> + +<p>"Is your appetite good?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Patty, in a tone which belied the words; "it seems to be +very good."</p> + +<p>"Um-m," said the doctor.</p> + +<p>"I'm just a little tired," pursued Patty, "but I think I shall be all +right as soon as I get a chance to rest. Perhaps I need a tonic," she +suggested.</p> + +<p>"You'd better stay out of classes for a day or two and get thoroughly +rested."</p> + +<p>"Oh, no," said Patty, in evident perturbation. "Our room is so full of +girls all the time that it's really more restful to go to classes; and, +besides, I can't stay out just now."</p> + +<p>"Why not?" demanded the doctor, suspiciously.</p> + +<p>"Well," said Patty, a trifle reluctantly,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[112]</a></span> "I have a good deal to do. +I've got to cram for an examination, and—"</p> + +<p>The word "cram" was to the doctor as a red rag to a bull. "Nonsense!" +she ejaculated. "I know what I shall do with you. You are going right +over to the infirmary for a few days—"</p> + +<p>"Oh, doctor!" Patty pleaded, with tears in her eyes, "there's <i>truly</i> +nothing the matter with me, and I've <i>got</i> to take that examination."</p> + +<p>"What examination is it?"</p> + +<p>"Old English—Miss Skelling."</p> + +<p>"I will see Miss Skelling myself," said the doctor, "and explain that +you cannot take the examination until you come out. And now," she added, +making a note of Patty's case, "I will have you put in the convalescent +ward, and we will try the rest cure for a few days, and feed you up on +chicken-broth and egg-nog, and see if we can get that appetite back."</p> + +<p>"Thank you," said Patty, with the resigned air of one who has given up +struggling against the inevitable.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[113]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I like to see you take an interest in your work," added the doctor, +kindly; "but you must always remember, my dear, that health is the first +consideration."</p> + +<p>Patty returned to the study and executed an impromptu dance in the +middle of the floor.</p> + +<p>"What's the matter?" exclaimed Priscilla. "Are you crazy?"</p> + +<p>"No," said Patty; "only ill." And she went into her bedroom and began +slinging things into a dress-suit case.</p> + +<p>Priscilla stood in the doorway and watched her in amazement. "Are you +going to New York?" she asked.</p> + +<p>"No," said Patty; "to the infirmary."</p> + +<p>"Patty Wyatt, you're a wretched little hypocrite!"</p> + +<p>"Not at all," said Patty, cheerfully. "I didn't ask to go, but the +doctor simply insisted. I told her I had an examination, but she said it +didn't make any difference; health must be the first consideration."</p> + +<p>"What's in that bottle?" demanded Priscilla.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[114]</a></span></p> + +<p>"That's for my appetite," said Patty, with a grin; "the doctor hopes to +improve it. I didn't like to discourage her, but I don't much believe +she can." She dropped an Old English grammar and a copy of "Beowulf" +into her suit-case.</p> + +<p>"They won't let you study," said Priscilla.</p> + +<p>"I shall not ask them," said Patty. "Good-by. Tell the girls to drop in +occasionally and see me in my incarceration. Visiting hour from five to +six." She stuck her head in again. "If any one wants to send violets, I +think they might cheer me up."</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> next afternoon Georgie and Priscilla presented themselves at the +infirmary, and were met at the door by the austere figure of the head +nurse. "I will see if Miss Wyatt is awake," she said dubiously, "but I +am afraid you will excite her; she's to be kept very quiet."</p> + +<p>"Oh, no; we'll do her good," remonstrated Georgie; and the two girls +tiptoed in after the nurse.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[115]</a></span></p> + +<p>The convalescent ward was a large, airy room, furnished in green and +white, with four or five beds, each surrounded with brass poles and +curtains. Patty was lying in one of the corner beds near a window, +propped up on pillows, with her hair tumbled about her face, and a table +beside her covered with flowers and glasses of medicine. This elaborate +paraphernalia of sickness created a momentary illusion in the minds of +the visitors. Priscilla ran to the bedside and dropped on her knees +beside her invalid room-mate.</p> + +<p>"Patty dear," she said anxiously, "how do you feel?"</p> + +<p>A seraphic smile spread over Patty's face. "I've been able to take a +little nourishment to-day," she said.</p> + +<p>"Patty, you're a scandalous humbug! Who gave you those violets? 'With +love, from Lady Clara Vere de Vere'—that blessed freshman!—and you've +borrowed every drop of alcohol the poor child ever thought of owning. +And whom are those roses from? Miss Skelling! Patty, you ought to be +ashamed."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[116]</a></span></p> + +<p>Patty had the grace to blush slightly. "I was a trifle embarrassed," she +admitted; "but when I reflected upon how sorry she would have been to +find out how little I knew, and how glad she will be to find out how +much I know, my conscience was appeased."</p> + +<p>"Have you been studying?" asked Georgie.</p> + +<p>"Studying!" Patty lifted up the corner of her pillow and exhibited a +blue book. "Two days more of this, and I shall be the chief authority in +America on Anglo-Saxon roots."</p> + +<p>"How do you manage it?"</p> + +<p>"Oh," said Patty, "when the rest-hour begins I lie down and shut my +eyes, and they tiptoe over and look at me, and whisper, 'She's asleep,' +and softly draw the curtains around the bed; and I get out the book and +put in two solid hours of irregular verbs, and am still sleeping when +they come to look at me. They're perfectly astonished at the amount I +sleep. I heard the nurse telling the doctor that she didn't<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[117]</a></span> believe I'd +had any sleep for a month. And the worst of it is," she added, "that I +<i>am</i> tired, whether you believe it or not, and I should just love to +stay over here and sleep all day if I weren't so beastly conscientious +about that old grammar."</p> + +<p>"Poor Patty!" laughed Georgie. "She will be imposing on herself next, as +well as on the whole college."</p> + +<p>Friday morning Patty returned to the world.</p> + +<p>"How's Old English?" inquired Priscilla.</p> + +<p>"Very well, thank you. It was something of a cram, but I think I know +that grammar by heart, from the preface to the index."</p> + +<p>"You're back in all your other work. Do you think it paid?"</p> + +<p>"That remains to be seen," laughed Patty.</p> + +<p>She knocked on Miss Skelling's door, and, after the first polite +greetings, stated her errand: "I should like, if it is convenient for +you, to take the examination I missed."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[118]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Do you feel able to take it to-day?"</p> + +<p>"I feel much better able to take it to-day than I did on Tuesday."</p> + +<p>Miss Skelling smiled kindly. "You have done very good work in Old +English this semester, Miss Wyatt, and I should not ask you to take the +examination at all if I thought it would be fair to the rest of the +class."</p> + +<p>"Fair to the rest of the class?" Patty looked a trifle blank; she had +not considered this aspect of the question, and a slow red flush crept +over her face. She hesitated a moment, and rose uncertainly. "When it +comes to that, Miss Skelling," she confessed, "I'm afraid it wouldn't be +quite fair to the rest of the class for me to take it."</p> + +<p>Miss Skelling did not understand. "But, Miss Wyatt," she expostulated in +a puzzled tone, "it was not difficult. I am sure you could pass."</p> + +<p>Patty smiled. "I am sure I could, Miss Skelling. I don't believe you +could ask me a question that I couldn't answer. But the point is that +it's all learned since<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[119]</a></span> Tuesday. The doctor was laboring under a little +delusion—very natural under the circumstances—when she sent me to the +infirmary, and I spent my time there studying."</p> + +<p>"But, Miss Wyatt, this is very unusual. I shall not know how to mark +you," Miss Skelling murmured in some distress.</p> + +<p>"Oh, mark me zero," said Patty, cheerfully. "It doesn't matter in the +least—I know such a lot that I'll get through on the finals. Good-by; +I'm sorry to have troubled you." And she closed the door and turned +thoughtfully homeward.</p> + +<p>"Did it pay?" asked Priscilla.</p> + +<p>Patty laughed and murmured softly:</p> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="The King of France"> +<tr><td align='left'>"'The King of France rode up the hill with full ten thousand men;</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">The King of France did gain the top, and then rode down again.'"</span></td></tr> +</table></div> + +<p>"What are you talking about?" demanded Priscilla.</p> + +<p>"Old English," said Patty, as she sat down at her desk and commenced on +the three days' work she had missed.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[120]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[121]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[122]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[123]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>VIII</h2> + +<h3>The Deceased Robert</h3> + + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 149px;"> +<img src="images/i.png" width="149" height="150" alt="I" title="I" /> +</div> +<div class='unindent'><br /><br />T was ten o'clock, and Patty, having just read her ethics over for the +third time without comprehending it, had announced sleepily, "I shall +have to be good by inspiration; I can't seem to grasp the rule," when a +knock sounded on the door and a maid appeared with the announcement, +"Mrs. Richards wishes to see Miss Wyatt."</div> + +<p>"At this hour!" Patty cried in dismay. "It must be something serious. +Think, Priscilla. What have I been doing lately that would outrage the +warden sufficiently to call me up at ten o'clock? You don't suppose I'm +going to be suspended or rusticated or expelled or anything like that, +do you? I <i>honestly</i> can't think of a thing I've done."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[124]</a></span></p> + +<p>"It's a telegram," the maid said sympathetically.</p> + +<p>"A telegram?" Patty's face turned pale, and she left the room without a +word.</p> + +<p>Priscilla and Georgie sat on the couch and looked at each other with +troubled faces. All ordinary telegrams came directly to the students. +They knew that something serious must have happened to have it sent to +the warden. Georgie got up and walked around the room uncertainly.</p> + +<p>"Shall I go away, Pris?" she asked. "I suppose Patty would rather be +alone if anything has happened. But if she's going home and has to pack +her trunk to-night, come and tell me and I will come down and help."</p> + +<p>They stood at the door a few moments talking in low tones, and as +Georgie started to turn away, Patty's step suddenly sounded in the +corridor. She came in with a queer smile on her lips, and sat down on +the couch.</p> + +<p>"The warden has certainly reduced the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[125]</a></span> matter of scaring people to a +fine art," she said. "I was never more frightened in my life. I thought +that the least that had happened was an earthquake which had engulfed +the entire family."</p> + +<p>"What was the matter?" Georgie and Priscilla asked in a breath.</p> + +<p>Patty spread out a crumpled telegram on her knee, and the girls read it +over her shoulder:</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>Robert died of an overdose of chloroform at ten +this morning. Funeral to-morrow.</p> + +<div class='right'> +<span class="smcap">Thomas M. Wyatt.</span><br /> +</div> +</div> + +<p>"Thomas M. Wyatt," said Patty, grimly, "is my small brother Tommy, and +Robert is short for Bobby Shafto, which was the name of Tommy's bull +pup, the homeliest and worst-tempered dog that was ever received into +the bosom of a respectable family."</p> + +<p>"But why in the world did he telegraph?"</p> + +<p>"It's a joke," said Patty, shaking her <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[126]</a></span>head dejectedly. "Joking runs in +the family, and we've all inherited the tendency. One time my +father—but, as my friend Kipling says, that's another story. This dog, +you see—this Robert Shafto—has cast a shadow over my vacations for +more than a year. He killed my kitten, and ate my Venetian lace +collar—it didn't even give him indigestion. He went out and wallowed in +the rain and mud and came in and slept on my bed. He stole the beefsteak +for breakfast and the rubbers and door-mats for blocks around. Property +on the street appreciably declined, for prospective purchasers refused +to purchase so long as Tommy Wyatt kept a dog. Robert was threatened +with death time and again, but Tommy always managed to conceal him from +impending justice until the trouble had blown over. But this time I +suppose he committed some supreme enormity—probably chewed up the baby +or one of my father's Persian rugs, or something like that. And Tommy, +knowing how I detested the beast, evidently thought it would be a good +joke<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[127]</a></span> to telegraph, though wherein lies the point I can't make out."</p> + +<p>"Ah, I see," said Georgie; "and Mrs. Richards thought that Robert was a +relation. What did she say?"</p> + +<p>"She said, 'Come in, Patty dear,' when I knocked on the door. Usually +when I have had the honor of being received by her she has somewhat +frigidly called me 'Miss Wyatt.' I opened the door with my knees shaking +when I heard that 'Patty dear,' and she took my hand and said, 'I am +sorry to have to tell you that I have heard bad news from your brother.'</p> + +<p>"'Tommy?' I gasped.</p> + +<p>"'No; Robert.'</p> + +<p>"I was dazed. I racked my brains, but I couldn't remember any brother +Robert.</p> + +<p>"'He is very ill,' she went on. 'Yes, I must tell you the truth, Patty; +poor little Robert passed away this morning'; and she laid the telegram +before me. Then, when it flashed over me what it meant, I was so +relieved that I put my head down on her desk and simply laughed till I +cried;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[128]</a></span> and she thought I was crying all the time, and kept patting my +head and quoting Psalms. Well, then I didn't dare to tell her, after she +had expended all that sympathy; so as soon as I could stop laughing +(which wasn't very soon, for I had got considerable momentum) I raised +my head and told her—trying to be truthful and at the same time not +hurt her feelings—that Robert was not a brother, but just a sort of +friend. And, do you know, she immediately jumped to the conclusion that +he was a fiancé, and began stroking my hair and murmuring that it was +sometimes harder to lose friends than relatives, but that I was still +young, and I must not let it blast my life, and that maybe in the future +when time had dulled the pain—and then, remembering that it wouldn't do +to advise me to adopt a second fiancé before I had buried my first, she +stopped suddenly and asked if I wished to go home to the funeral.</p> + +<p>"I told her no, that I didn't think it would be best; and she said +perhaps not<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[129]</a></span> if it hadn't been announced, and she kissed me and told me +she was glad to see me bearing up so bravely."</p> + +<p>"Patty!" Priscilla exclaimed in horror, "it's dreadful. How could you +let her think it?"</p> + +<p>"How could I help it?" Patty demanded indignantly. "What with being +frightened into hysterics first, and then having a strange fiancé thrust +at me without a moment's notice, I think that I carried off the +situation with rare delicacy and finesse. Do you think it would have +been tactful to tell her it was nothing but a bull pup she was quoting +Scripture about?"</p> + +<p>"I don't see how it was exactly your fault," Georgie acknowledged.</p> + +<p>"Thank you," said Patty. "If you had a brother like Tommy Wyatt you +would know how to sympathize with me. I suppose I ought to be grateful +to know that the dog is dead, but I should like to have had the news +broken a little less gently."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[130]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Patty," exclaimed Priscilla, as a sudden thought struck her, "do you +happen to remember that you are on the reception committee of the +Dramatic Club cotillion to-morrow night? What will Mrs. Richards think +when she sees you in evening dress, receiving at a party, on the very +day your fiancé has been buried?"</p> + +<p>"I wonder?" said Patty, doubtfully. "Do you really think I ought to stay +away? After working like a little buzz-saw making tissue-paper favors +for the thing, I hate to have to miss it just because my brother's bull +pup, that I never even <i>liked</i>, is dead.</p> + +<p>"I'll go," she added, brightening, "and receive the guests with a forced +and mechanical smile; and every time I feel the warden's eyes upon me I +shall with difficulty choke back the tears, and she will say to herself:</p> + +<p>"'Brave girl! How nobly she is struggling to present a composed face to +the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[131]</a></span> world! None would dream, to look at that seemingly radiant +creature, that, while she is outwardly so gay, she is in reality +concealing a great sorrow which is gnawing at her very vitals.'"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[132]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[133]</a></span> +<br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[134]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[135]</a></span></p> + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>IX</h2> + +<h3>Patty the Comforter</h3> + + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 149px;"> +<img src="images/i.png" width="149" height="150" alt="I" title="I" /> +</div> +<div class='unindent'><br /><br />T was on the eve of the mid-year examinations, and a gloom had fallen +over the college. The conscientious ones who had worked all the year +were working harder than ever, and the frivolous ones who had played all +the year were working with a desperate frenzy calculated to render their +minds a blank when the crucial hour should have arrived. But Patty was +not working. It was a canon of her college philosophy, gained by three +and a half years' of personal experience, that the day before +examinations is not the time to begin to study. One has impressed the +instructor with one's intelligent interest in the subject, or one has +not, and the result is as sure as if the marks were already down in +black and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[136]</a></span> white in the college archives. And so Patty, who at least +lived up to her lights, was, with the exception of a few points which +she intended to learn for this period only, conscientiously neglecting +the "judicious review" recommended by the faculty.</div> + +<p>Her friends, however, who, though perhaps equally philosophic, were less +consistent, were subjecting themselves to what was known as a "regular +freshman cram"; and as no one had any time to talk to Patty, or to make +anything to eat, she found it an unprofitable period. Her own room-mate +even drove her from the study because she laughed out loud over the book +she was reading; and, an exile, she wandered around to the studies of +her friends, and was confronted by an "engaged" on every door. She was +sitting on a window-sill in the corridor, pondering on the general +barrenness of things, when she suddenly remembered her friends the +freshmen in study 321. She had not visited them for some time, and +freshmen<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[137]</a></span> are usually interesting at this period. She accordingly turned +down the corridor that led to 321, and found a "<span class="smcap">positively engaged to +every one!!</span>" in letters three inches high, across the door. This +promised a richness of entertainment within, and Patty heaved a +disappointed sigh loud enough to carry through the transom.</p> + +<p>The turning of leaves and rustling of paper ceased; evidently they were +listening, but they gave no sign. Patty wrote a note on the door-block +with reverberating punctuation-points, and then retired noisily, and +tiptoed back a moment later, and leaned against the wall. Curiosity +prevailed; the door opened, and a face wearing a hunted look peered out.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Patty Wyatt, was that you?" she asked. "We thought it was Frances +Stoddard coming down to have geometry explained, and so we kept still. +Come in."</p> + +<p>"Goodness, no; I wouldn't come in over an 'engaged' like that for +anything. I'm afraid you're busy."</p> + +<p>The freshman grasped her by the arm.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[138]</a></span> "Patty, if you love us come in and +cheer us up. We're so scared we don't know what to do."</p> + +<p>Patty consented to be drawn across the threshold. "I don't want to +interrupt you," she remonstrated, "if you have anything to do." The +study was occupied by three girls. Patty smiled benignly at the two +haggard faces before her. "Where's Lady Clara Vere de Vere?" she asked. +"She surely isn't wasting these precious last moments in anything +frivolous."</p> + +<p>"She's in her bedroom, with a geometry in one hand and a Greek grammar +in the other, trying to learn them both at once."</p> + +<p>"Tell her to come out here; I want to give her some good advice"; and +Patty sat down on the divan and surveyed the dictionary-bestrewn room +with an appreciative smile.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Patty, I'm so glad to see you!" Lady Clara exclaimed, appearing in +the doorway. "The sophomores have been telling us the most <i>dreadful</i> +stories about<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[139]</a></span> examinations. They aren't true, are they?"</p> + +<p>"Mercy, no! Don't believe a word those sophomores tell you. They were +freshmen themselves last year, and if the examinations were as bad as +they say, they wouldn't have passed them, either."</p> + +<p>A relieved expression stole over the three faces.</p> + +<p>"You're such a comfort, Patty. Upper-classmen take things easily, don't +they?"</p> + +<p>"One gets inured to almost anything in time," said Patty. "Examinations +are even entertaining, if you know the right answers."</p> + +<p>"But we won't know the right answers!" one of the freshmen wailed, her +terror returning. "We simply don't know <i>anything</i>, and Latin comes +to-morrow, and geometry the next day."</p> + +<p>"Oh, well, in that case you can't get through anyway, so don't worry. +You must take it philosophically, you know." Patty settled herself among +the cushions<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[140]</a></span> and smiled upon her frightened auditors with easy +nonchalance. "As an example of the uselessness of studying at the +eleventh hour when you haven't done anything through the term, I will +tell you my experience with freshman Greek. I was badly prepared when I +came, I didn't study through the term, and, without exaggeration, I +didn't know anything. Three days before examinations I suddenly +comprehended the situation, and I began swallowing that grammar in +chunks. I drank black coffee to keep awake, and worked till two in the +morning, and scarcely stopped cramming irregular verbs for meals. I +simply thought in Greek and dreamed in Greek. And, if you will believe +it, after all that work I flunked in Greek! It shook my faith in +studying for examinations. I've never done it since, and I've never +flunked since. I believe that it's just a matter of fate whether you get +through or not, so I never bother any more."</p> + +<p>The freshmen looked at one another disconsolately.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[141]</a></span> "If it's all decided +beforehand, we're lost."</p> + +<p>Patty smiled reassuringly.</p> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="A little flunking now and then"> +<tr><td align='left'>"A little flunking now and then</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: .5em;">Will happen to the best of men."</span></td></tr> +</table></div> + +<p>"But I've heard they send people home, drop them, you know, if they +flunk more than a certain amount. Is that so?" Lady Clara inquired in +hushed tones.</p> + +<p>"Oh, yes," said Patty; "they have to. I've known some of the brightest +girls in college to be dropped."</p> + +<p>Lady Clara groaned. "I'm awfully shaky in geometry, Patty. Do they flunk +many girls in that?"</p> + +<p>"Many!" said Patty. "The mere clerical labor of writing out the notes +occupies the department two days."</p> + +<p>"Is the examination terribly hard?"</p> + +<p>"I don't remember much about it. It's been such a long time since I was +a freshman, you see. They picked out the hardest theorems, I +know—things you couldn't even draw, let alone demonstrate: the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[142]</a></span> pyramid +that's cut in slices, for one,—I don't remember its name,—and that +sprawling one that looks like a snail crawling out of its shell: the +devil's coffin, I believe it's called technically. And—oh, yes! they +give you originals—<i>frightful</i> originals, like nothing you've ever had +before; and they put a little note at the top of the page telling you to +do them first, and you get so muddled trying to think fast that you +can't think at all. I know a girl who spent all the two hours trying to +think out an original, and just as she got ready to write it down the +bell rang and she had to hand in her paper."</p> + +<p>"And what happened?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, she flunked. You couldn't really blame the instructor, you know, +for not reading between the lines, for there weren't any lines to read +between; but it was sort of a pity, for the girl really knew an awful +lot—but she couldn't express it."</p> + +<p>"That's just like me."</p> + +<p>"Ah, it's like a good many people." A<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[143]</a></span> silence ensued, and the freshmen +looked at one another dejectedly. "But you can live, even if you should +flunk math," Patty continued reassuringly. "Other people have done it +before you."</p> + +<p>"If it were only geometry—but we're scared over Latin."</p> + +<p>"Oh, Latin! There's no use studying for that, for you can't possibly +read it all over, and if you just pick out a part, it's sure not to be +the same part <i>they</i> pick out. The best way is to say incantations over +the book, and open it with your eyes blindfolded, and study the page it +opens to; then, in case you don't pass,—and you probably won't,—you +can throw the blame on fate. My freshman year, if I remember right, they +gave us for prose composition one of Emerson's essays to translate into +Latin, and we couldn't even tell what it meant in English."</p> + +<p>The three looked at one another again.</p> + +<p>"I couldn't do anything like that."</p> + +<p>"Nor I."</p> + +<p>"Nor I."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[144]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Nor any one else," said Patty.</p> + +<p>"We can flunk Latin and math; but if we flunk any more we're gone."</p> + +<p>"I believe so," said Patty.</p> + +<p>"And I'm awfully shaky in German."</p> + +<p>"And I in French."</p> + +<p>"And I in Greek."</p> + +<p>"I don't know anything about German," said Patty. "Never had it myself. +But I remember hearing Priscilla say that the printed examination papers +didn't come but in time, and Fräulein Scherin, who writes a frightful +hand, wrote the questions on the board in German script, and they +couldn't even read them. In French I believe the first question was to +write out the 'Marseillaise'; there are seven verses, and no one had +learned them, and the 'Marseillaise,' you know, is a thing that you +simply <i>can't</i> make up on the spur of the moment. As for Greek, I told +you my own experience; I am sure nothing could be worse than that."</p> + +<p>The freshmen looked at one another<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[145]</a></span> hopelessly. "There's only English +and hygiene and Bible history left."</p> + +<p>"English is something you can't tell anything about," said Patty. +"They're as likely as not to ask you to write a heroic poem in iambic +pentameters, if you know what they are. You have to depend on +inspiration; you can't study for it."</p> + +<p>"I hope," sighed Lady Clara, "to get through hygiene and Bible history, +though, as they only count one hour apiece, I suppose it isn't much."</p> + +<p>"You mustn't be too sanguine," said Patty. "It all depends on chance. +The class in hygiene is so big that the professor hasn't time to read +the papers; he just goes down the list and flunks every thirteenth girl. +I'm not sure about Bible history, but I think he does the same, because +I know, freshman year, that I made a mistake and handed in my map of the +Holy Lands done in colored chalk to the hygiene professor, and my chart +of the digestive system to the Bible professor, and neither of them +noticed it. They did look<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[146]</a></span> a good deal alike, but not so much but what +you could tell them apart. All I have to say is that I hope none of you +will be number thirteen."</p> + +<p>The freshmen stared at one another in speechless horror, and Patty rose. +"Well, good-by, my children, and, above all things, don't worry. I'm +glad if I've been able to cheer you up a little, for so much depends on +not being nervous. Don't believe any of the silly stories the sophomores +tell," she called back over her shoulder; "they're just trying to +frighten you."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[147]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[148]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[149]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>X</h2> + +<h3>"Per l'Italia"</h3> + + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 149px;"> +<img src="images/c.png" width="149" height="150" alt="C" title="C" /> +</div> +<div class='unindent'><br /><br />OLLEGE is a more or less selfish place. Everybody is so busy with her +own affairs that she has no time to give to her neighbor, unless her +neighbor has something to give in return. Olivia Copeland apparently had +nothing to give in return. She was quiet and inconspicuous, and it took +a second glance to realize that her face was striking and that there was +a look in her eyes that other freshmen did not have. By an unfelicitous +chance she was placed in the same study with Lady Clara Vere de Vere and +Emily Washburn. They thought her foreign and queer, and she thought them +crude and boisterous, and after the first week or two of politely trying +to get acquainted the effort was dropped on both sides.</div><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[150]</a></span></p> + +<p>The year wore on, and nobody knew, or at least no one paid any attention +to the fact, that Olivia Copeland was homesick and unhappy. Her +room-mates thought that they had done their duty when they occasionally +asked her to play golf or go skating with them (an invitation they were +very safe in giving, as she knew how to do neither). Her instructors +thought that they had done their duty when they called her up to the +desk after class and warned her that her work was not as good as it had +been, and that if she wished to pass she must improve in it.</p> + +<p>The English class was the only one in which she was not warned; but she +had no means of knowing that her themes were handed about among the +different instructors and that she was referred to in the department as +"that remarkable Miss Copeland." The department had a theory that if +they let a girl know she was doing good work she would immediately stop +and rest upon her reputation; and Olivia, in consequence, did not +discover that she<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[151]</a></span> was remarkable. She merely discovered that she was +miserable and out of place, and she continued to drip tears of +homesickness before a sketch of an Italian villa that hung above her +desk.</p> + +<p>It was Patty Wyatt who first discovered her. Patty had dropped into the +freshmen's room one afternoon on some errand or other (probably to +borrow alcohol), and had idly picked up a pile of English themes that +were lying on the study table.</p> + +<p>"Whose are these? Do you care if I look at them?" she asked.</p> + +<p>"No; you can read them if you want to," said Lady Clara. "They're +Olivia's, but she won't mind."</p> + +<p>Patty carelessly turned the pages, and then, as a title caught her eye, +she suddenly looked up with a show of interest. "'The Coral-fishers of +Capri'! What on earth does Olivia Copeland know about the coral-fishers +of Capri?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, she lives somewhere near there—at Sorrento," said Lady Clara, +indifferently.</p> + +<p>"Olivia Copeland lives at Sorrento!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[152]</a></span> Patty stared. "Why didn't you tell +me?"</p> + +<p>"I supposed you knew it. Her father's an artist or something of the +sort. She's lived in Italy all her life; that's what makes her so +queer."</p> + +<p>Patty had once spent a sunshiny week in Sorrento herself, and the very +memory of it was intoxicating. "Where is she?" she asked excitedly. "I +want to talk to her."</p> + +<p>"I don't know where she is. Out walking, probably. She goes off walking +all by herself, and never speaks to any one, and then when we ask her to +do something rational, like golf or basket-ball, she pokes in the house +and reads Dante in Italian. Imagine!"</p> + +<p>"Why, she must be interesting!" said Patty, in surprise, and she turned +back to the themes.</p> + +<p>"I think these are splendid!" she exclaimed.</p> + +<p>"Sort of queer, I think," said Lady Clara. "But there's one that's +rather funny. It was read in class—about a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[153]</a></span> peasant that lost his +donkey. I'll find it"; and she rummaged through the pile.</p> + +<p>Patty read it soberly, and Lady Clara watched her with a shade of +disappointment.</p> + +<p>"Don't you think it's pretty good?" she asked.</p> + +<p>"Yes; I think it's one of the best things I ever read."</p> + +<p>"You never even smiled!"</p> + +<p>"My dear child, it isn't funny."</p> + +<p>"Isn't funny! Why, the class simply roared over it."</p> + +<p>Patty shrugged. "Your appreciation must have gratified Olivia. And here +it's February, and I've barely spoken to her."</p> + +<p>The next afternoon Patty was strolling home from a recitation, when she +spied Olivia Copeland across the campus, headed for Pine Bluff and +evidently out for a solitary walk.</p> + +<p>"Olivia Copeland, wait a moment," Patty called. "Are you going for a +walk? May I come too?" she asked, as she panted up behind.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[154]</a></span></p> + +<p>Olivia assented with evident surprise, and Patty fell into step beside +her. "I just found out yesterday that you live in Sorrento, and I wanted +to talk to you. I was there myself once, and I think it's the most +glorious spot on earth."</p> + +<p>Olivia's eyes shone. "Really?" she gasped. "Oh, I'm so glad!" And before +she knew it she was telling Patty the story of how she had come to +college to please her father, and how she loved Italy and hated America; +and what she did not tell about her loneliness and homesickness Patty +divined.</p> + +<p>She realized that the girl <i>was</i> remarkable, and she determined in the +future to take an interest in her and make her like college. But a +senior's life is busy and taken up with its own affairs, and for the +next week or two Patty saw little of the freshman beyond an occasional +chat in the corridors.</p> + +<p>One evening she and Priscilla had returned late from a dinner in town, +to be confronted by a dark room and an empty match-safe.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[155]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Wait a moment and I'll get some matches," said Patty; and she knocked +on a door across the corridor where a freshman lived with whom they had +a borrowing acquaintance. She found within her own freshman friends, +Lady Clara Vere de Vere and Emily Washburn. It was evident by the three +heads close together, and the hush that fell on the group as she +entered, that some momentous piece of gossip had been interrupted. Patty +forgot her room-mate waiting in the dark, and dropped into a chair with +the evident purpose of staying out the evening.</p> + +<p>"Tell me all about it, children," she said cordially.</p> + +<p>The freshmen looked at one another and hesitated.</p> + +<p>"A new president?" Patty suggested, "or just a class mutiny?"</p> + +<p>"It's about Olivia Copeland," Lady Clara returned dubiously; "but I +don't know that I ought to say anything."</p> + +<p>"Olivia Copeland?" Patty straightened up with a new interest in her +eyes. "What's Olivia Copeland been doing?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[156]</a></span></p> + +<p>"She's been flunking and—"</p> + +<p>"Flunking!" Patty's face was blank. "But I thought she was so bright!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, she is bright; only, you know, she hasn't a way of making people +find it out; and, besides," Lady Clara added with meaning emphasis, "she +was scared over examinations."</p> + +<p>Patty cast a quick look at her. "What do you mean?" she asked.</p> + +<p>Lady Clara was fond of Patty, but she was only human, and she had been +frightened herself. "Well," she explained, "she had heard a lot of +stories from—er—upper-classmen about how hard the examinations are, +and the awful things they do to you if you don't pass, and being a +stranger, she believed them. Of course Emily and I knew better; but she +was just scared to death, and she went all to pieces, and—"</p> + +<p>"Nonsense!" said Patty, impatiently. "You can't make me believe that."</p> + +<p>"If it had been a sophomore that had tried to frighten us," pursued Lady +Clara,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[157]</a></span> "we shouldn't have minded so much: but a senior!"</p> + +<p>"Now, Patty, aren't you sorry that you told us all those things?" asked +Emily.</p> + +<p>Patty laughed. "For the matter of that, I never say anything I'm not +sorry for half an hour later. I'm going to get out a book some day +entitled 'Things I Wish I Hadn't Said: A Collection of <i>Faux Pas</i>,' by +Patty Wyatt."</p> + +<p>"I think it's more than a <i>faux pas</i> when you frighten a girl so she—"</p> + +<p>"I suppose you think you're rubbing it in," said Patty, imperturbably; +"but girls don't flunk because they're frightened: they flunk because +they don't know."</p> + +<p>"Olivia knew five times as much geometry as I did, and I got through and +she didn't."</p> + +<p>Patty examined the carpet in silence.</p> + +<p>"She thinks she's going to be dropped, and she's just crying terribly," +pursued Emily, with a certain relish in the details.</p> + +<p>"Crying!" said Patty, sharply. "What's she crying for?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[158]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Because she feels bad, I suppose. She'd been out walking, and got +caught in the rain, and she didn't get back in time for dinner, and then +found those notes waiting for her. She's up there lying on the bed, and +she's got hysterics or Roman fever or something like that. She told us +to go away and let her alone. She's awfully cross all of a sudden."</p> + +<p>Patty rose. "I think I'll go and cheer her up."</p> + +<p>"Let her alone, Patty," said Emily. "I know the way you cheer people up. +If you hadn't cheered her up before examinations she wouldn't have +flunked."</p> + +<p>"I didn't know anything about her then," said Patty, a trifle sulkily; +"and, anyway," she added as she opened the door, "I didn't say anything +that affected her passing, one way or the other." She turned toward +Olivia's room, however, with a conscience that was not quite +comfortable. She could not remember just what she <i>had</i> told those +freshmen about examinations, but she had an uneasy feeling<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[159]</a></span> that it +might not have been of a reassuring nature.</p> + +<p>"I wish I could ever learn when it is time for joking and when it is +not," she said to herself as she knocked on the study door.</p> + +<p>No one answered, and she turned the knob and entered. A stifled sob came +from one of the bedrooms, and Patty hesitated.</p> + +<p>She was not in the habit of crying herself, and she always felt +uncomfortable when other people did it. Something must be done, however, +and she advanced to the threshold and silently regarded Olivia, who was +stretched face downward on the bed. At the sound of Patty's step she +raised her head and cast a startled glance at the intruder, and then +buried her face in the pillows again. Patty scribbled an "engaged" sign +and pinned it on the study door, and drawing up a chair beside the bed, +she sat down with the air of a physician about to make a diagnosis.</p> + +<p>"Well, Olivia," she began in a business-like tone, "what is the +trouble?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[160]</a></span></p> + +<p>Olivia opened her hands and disclosed some crumpled papers. Patty spread +them out and hastily ran her eyes over the official printed slips:</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>Miss <i>Copeland</i> is hereby informed that she has +been found deficient in <i>German</i> (<i>three</i> hours). </p></div> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>Miss <i>Copeland</i> is hereby informed that she has +been found deficient in <i>Latin prose</i> (<i>one</i> +hour). </p></div> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>Miss <i>Copeland</i> is hereby informed that she has +been found deficient in <i>geometry</i> (<i>four</i> hours). </p></div> + +<p>Patty performed a rapid calculation,—"three and one are four and four +are eight,"—and knit her brows.</p> + +<p>"Will they send me home, Patty?"</p> + +<p>"Mercy, no, child; I hope not. A person who's done as good work as you +in English ought to have the right to flunk every other blessed thing, +if she wants to."</p> + +<p>"But you're dropped if you flunk eight hours; you told me so yourself."</p> + +<p>"Don't believe anything I told you," said Patty, reassuringly. "I don't +know<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[161]</a></span> what I'm talking about more than half the time."</p> + +<p>"I'd hate to be sent back, and have my father know I'd failed, when he +spent so much time preparing me; but"—Olivia began to cry again—"I +want to go back so much that I don't believe I care."</p> + +<p>"You don't know what you're talking about," said Patty. She put her hand +on the girl's shoulder. "Mercy, child, you're sopping wet, and you're +shivering! Sit up and take those shoes off."</p> + +<p>Olivia sat up and pulled at the laces with ineffectual fingers, and +Patty jerked them open and dumped the shoes in a squashy heap on the +floor.</p> + +<p>"Do you know what's the matter with you?" she asked. "You're not crying +because you've flunked. You're crying because you've caught cold, and +you're tired and wet and hungry. You take those wet clothes off this +minute and get into a warm bath-robe, and I'll get you some dinner."</p> + +<p>"I don't want any dinner," wailed<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[162]</a></span> Olivia, and she showed signs of +turning back to the pillows again.</p> + +<p>"Don't act like a baby, Olivia," said Patty, sharply; "sit up and be +a—a man."</p> + +<p>Ten minutes later Patty returned from a successful looting expedition, +and deposited her spoils on the bedroom table. Olivia sat on the edge of +the bed and watched her apathetically, a picture of shivering +despondency.</p> + +<p>"Drink this," commanded Patty, as she extended a steaming glass.</p> + +<p>Olivia obediently raised it to her lips, and drew back. "What's in it?" +she asked faintly.</p> + +<p>"Everything I could find that's hot—quinine and whisky and Jamaica +ginger and cough syrup and a dash of red pepper, and—one or two other +things. It's my own idea. You can't take cold after <i>that</i>."</p> + +<p>"I—I don't believe I want any."</p> + +<p>"Drink it—every drop," said Patty, grimly; and Olivia shut her eyes and +gulped it down.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[163]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Now," said Patty, cheerfully bustling about, "I'll get dinner. Have you +a can-opener? And any alcohol, by chance? That's nice. We'll have three +courses,—canned soup, canned baked beans, and preserved ginger,—all of +them hot. It's mighty lucky Georgie Merriles was in New York or she'd +never have lent them to me."</p> + +<p>Olivia, to her own astonishment, presently found herself laughing (she +had thought that she would never smile again) as she sipped mulligatawny +soup from a tooth-mug and balanced a pin-trayful of steaming baked beans +on her knee.</p> + +<p>"And now," said Patty, as, the three courses disposed of, she tucked the +freshman into bed, "we'll map out a campaign. While eight hours are +pretty serious, they are not of necessity deadly. What made you flunk +Latin prose?"</p> + +<p>"I never had any before I came, and when I told Miss—"</p> + +<p>"Certainly; she thought it her duty to flunk you. You shouldn't have +mentioned<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[164]</a></span> the subject. But never mind. It's only one hour, and it won't +take you a minute to work it off. How about German?"</p> + +<p>"German's a little hard because it's so different from Italian and +French, you know; and I'm sort of frightened when she calls on me, +and—"</p> + +<p>"Pretty stupid, on the whole?" Patty suggested.</p> + +<p>"I'm afraid I am," she confessed.</p> + +<p>"Well, I dare say you deserved to flunk in that. You can tutor it up and +pass it off in the spring. How about geometry?"</p> + +<p>"I thought I knew that, only she didn't ask what I expected and—"</p> + +<p>"An unfortunate circumstance, but it will happen. Could you review it up +a little and take a reëxamination right away?"</p> + +<p>"Yes; I'm sure I could, only they won't give me another chance. They'll +send me home first."</p> + +<p>"Who's your instructor?"</p> + +<p>"Miss Prescott."</p> + +<p>Patty frowned, and then she laughed.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[165]</a></span> "I thought if it were Miss Hawley +I could go to her and explain the matter and ask her to give you a +reëxamination. Miss Hawley's occasionally human. But Miss Prescott! No +wonder you flunked. I'm afraid of her myself. She's the only woman that +ever got a degree at some German university, and she simply hasn't a +thought in the world beyond mathematics. I don't believe the woman has +any soul. If one of those mediums should come here and dematerialize +her, all that would be left would be an equilateral triangle."</p> + +<p>Patty shook her head. "I'm afraid there's not much use in arguing with a +person like that. If she once sees a truth, you know, she sees it for +all time. But never mind; I'll do the best I can. I'll tell her you're +an undiscovered mathematical genius; that it's latent, but if she'll +examine you again she'll find it. That ought to appeal to her. +Good-night. Go to sleep and don't worry; I'll manage her."</p> + +<p>"Good night; and thank you, Patty,"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[166]</a></span> called a tolerably cheerful voice +from under the covers.</p> + +<p>Patty closed the door, and stood a moment in the hall, pondering the +situation. Olivia Copeland was too valuable to throw away. The college +must be made to realize her worth. But that was difficult. Patty had +tried to make the college realize things before. Miss Prescott was the +only means of salvation that she could think of, and Miss Prescott was a +doubtful means. She did not at all relish the prospect of calling on +her, but there seemed to be nothing else to do. She made a little +grimace and laughed. "I'm acting like a freshman myself," she thought. +"Walk up, Patty, and face the guns"; and without giving herself time to +hesitate she marched up-stairs and knocked on Miss Prescott's door. She +reflected after she had knocked that perhaps it would have been more +politic to have postponed her business until the morrow. But the door +opened before she had time to run away, and she found herself rather +confusedly<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[167]</a></span> bowing to Miss Prescott, who held in her hand, not a book on +calculus, but a common, every-day magazine.</p> + +<p>"Good evening, Miss Wyatt. Won't you come in and sit down?" said Miss +Prescott, in a very cordially human tone.</p> + +<p>As she sank into a deep rush chair Patty had a blurred vision of low +bookcases, pictures, rugs, and polished brass thrown into soft relief by +a shaded lamp which stood on the table. Before she had time to mentally +shake herself and reconstruct her ideas she was gaily chatting to Miss +Prescott about the probable outcome of a serial story in the magazine.</p> + +<p>Miss Prescott did not seem to wonder in the least at this unusual visit, +but talked along easily on various subjects, and laughed and told +stories like the humanest of human beings. Patty watched her, +fascinated. "She's <i>pretty</i>," she thought to herself and she began to +wonder how old she was. Never before had she associated any age whatever +with Miss Prescott. She had regarded her much in the same<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[168]</a></span> light as a +scientific truth, which exists, but is quite irrespective of time or +place. She tried to recall some story that had been handed about among +the girls her freshman year. She remembered vaguely that it had in it +the suggestion that Miss Prescott had once been in love. At the time +Patty had scoffingly repudiated the idea, but now she was half willing +to believe it.</p> + +<p>Suddenly, in the midst of the conversation, the ten-o'clock bell rang, +and Patty recalled her errand with a start.</p> + +<p>"I suppose," she said, "you are wondering why I came."</p> + +<p>"I was hoping," said Miss Prescott, with a smile, "that it was just to +see me, without any ulterior motive."</p> + +<p>"It will be the next time—if you will let me come again; but to-night I +had another reason, which I'm afraid you'll think impertinent—and," she +added frankly, "I don't know just what's the best way to tell it so that +you <i>won't</i> think it impertinent."</p> + +<p>"Tell it to me any way you please, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[169]</a></span> I will try not to think so," +said Miss Prescott, kindly.</p> + +<p>"Don't you think sometimes the girls can tell more of one another's +ability than the instructors?" Patty asked. "I know a girl," she +continued, "a freshman, who is, in some ways, the most remarkable person +I have ever met. Of course I can't be sure, but I should say that she is +going to be very good in English some day—so good, you know, that the +college will be proud of her. Well, this girl has flunked such a lot +that I am afraid she is in danger of being sent home, and the college +simply can't afford to lose her. I don't know anything about your rules, +of course, but what seems to me the easiest way is for you to give her +another examination in geometry immediately,—she really knows it,—and +then tell the faculty about her and urge them to give her another +trial."</p> + +<p>Patty brought out this astounding request in the most matter-of-fact way +possible, and the corners of Miss Prescott's<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[170]</a></span> mouth twitched as she +asked: "Of whom are you speaking?"</p> + +<p>"Olivia Copeland."</p> + +<p>Miss Prescott's mouth grew firm, and she looked like the instructor in +mathematics again.</p> + +<p>"Miss Copeland did absolutely nothing on her examination, Miss Wyatt, +and what little she has recited during the year does not betoken any +unusual ability. I am sorry, but it would be impossible."</p> + +<p>"But, Miss Prescott," Patty expostulated, "the girl has worked under +such peculiar disadvantages. She's an American, but she lives abroad, +and all our ways are new to her. She has never been to school a day in +her life. Her father prepared her for college, and, of course, not in +the same way that the other girls have been prepared. She is shy, and +not being used to reciting in a class, she doesn't know how to show off. +I am sure, Miss Prescott, that if you would take her and examine her +yourself, you would find that she understands the work—that is, if you<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[171]</a></span> +would let her get over being afraid of you first. I know you're busy, +and it's asking a good deal," Patty finished apologetically.</p> + +<p>"It is not that, Miss Wyatt, for of course I do not wish to mark any +student unjustly; but I cannot help feeling that you have overestimated +Miss Copeland's ability. She has really had a chance to show what is in +her, and if she has failed in as many courses as you say—The college, +you know, must keep up the standard of its work, and in questions like +this it is not always possible to consider the individual."</p> + +<p>Patty felt that she was being dismissed, and she groped about wildly for +a new plea. Her eye caught a framed picture of the old monastery of +Amalfi hanging over the bookcase.</p> + +<p>"Perhaps you've lived in Italy?" she asked.</p> + +<p>Miss Prescott started slightly. "No," she said; "but I've spent some +time there."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[172]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 192px;"> +<img src="images/image_0188.jpg" width="192" height="400" alt="Olivia Copeland" title="Olivia Copeland" /> +<span class="caption">Olivia Copeland</span> +</div> +<p>"That picture of Amalfi, up there, made me think of it. Olivia Copeland, +you know, lives near there, at Sorrento."</p> + +<p>A gleam of interest flashed into Miss Prescott's eye.</p> + +<p>"That's how I first came to notice her," continued Patty; "but she +didn't interest me so much until I talked to her. It seems that her +father is an artist, and she was born in Italy, and has only visited +America once when she was a little girl. Her mother is dead, and she and +her father live in an old villa on that road along the coast leading to +Sorrento. She has never had any girl friends; just her father's +friends—artists and diplomats and people like that. She speaks Italian, +and she knows all about Italian art and politics and the church and the +agrarian laws and how the people are taxed; and all the peasants around +Sorrento are her friends. She is so homesick that she nearly dies, and +the only person here that she can talk to about the things she is +interested in is the peanut man down-town.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[173]</a></span></p> +<p>"The girls she rooms with are just nice exuberant American girls, and +are interested in golf and basket-ball and Welsh rabbit and Richard +Harding Davis stories and Gibson pictures—and she never even <i>heard</i> of +any of them until four months ago. She has a water-color sketch of the +villa, that her father did. It's white stucco, you know, with terraces +and marble balustrades and broken statues, and a grove of ilex-trees +with a fountain in the center. Just think of <i>belonging</i> to a place like +that, Miss Prescott, and then being suddenly plunged into a place like +this without any friends or any one who even knows about the things you +know—think how lonely you would be!"</p> + +<p>Patty leaned forward with flushed cheeks, carried away by her own +eloquence. "You know what Italy's like. It's a sort of disease. If you +once get fond of it you'll never forget it, and you just can't be happy +till you get back. And with Olivia it's her home, besides. She's never +known anything else. And it's hard<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[174]</a></span> at first to keep your mind on +mathematics when you're dreaming all the time of ilex groves and +fountains and nightingales and—and things like that."</p> + +<p>She finished lamely, for Miss Prescott suddenly leaned back in the +shadow, and it seemed to Patty that her face had grown pale and the hand +that held the magazine trembled.</p> + +<p>Patty flushed uncomfortably and tried to think what she had said. She +was always saying things that hurt people's feelings without meaning to. +Suddenly that old story from her freshman year flashed into her mind. He +had been an artist and had lived in Italy and had died of Roman fever; +and Miss Prescott had gone to Germany to study mathematics, and had +never cared for anything else since. It sounded rather made up, but it +might be true. Had she stumbled on a forbidden subject? she wondered +miserably. She had, of course; it was just her way.</p> + +<p>The silence was becoming unbearable; she struggled to think of something +to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[175]</a></span> say, but nothing came, and she rose abruptly.</p> + +<p>"I'm sorry to have taken so much of your time, Miss Prescott. I hope I +haven't bored you. Good night."</p> + +<p>Miss Prescott rose and took Patty's hand. "Good night, my dear, and +thank you for coming to me. I am glad to know of Olivia Copeland. I will +see what can be done about her geometry, and I shall be glad, besides, +to know her as—as a friend; for I, too, once cared for Italy."</p> + +<p>Patty closed the door softly and tiptoed home through the dim corridors.</p> + +<p>"Did you bring the matches?" called a sleepy voice from Priscilla's +bedroom.</p> + +<p>Patty started. "Oh, the matches!" she laughed. "No; I forgot them."</p> + +<p>"I never knew you to accomplish anything yet that you started out to do, +Patty Wyatt."</p> + +<p>"I've accomplished something to-night, just the same," Patty retorted, +with a little note of triumph in her voice; "but I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[176]</a></span> haven't an idea how +I happened to do it," she added frankly to herself.</p> + +<p>And she went to bed and fell asleep, quite unaware of how much she <i>had</i> +accomplished; for unconsciously she had laid the foundation of a +friendship which was to make happy the future of a lonely freshman and +an equally lonely instructor.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[177]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[178]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[179]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>XI</h2> + +<h3>"Local Color"</h3> + + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 151px;"> +<img src="images/t.png" width="151" height="150" alt="T" title="T" /> +</div> +<div class='unindent'><br /><br />HE third senior table had discovered a new amusement with which to +enlighten the tedium of waiting while Maggie was in the kitchen foraging +for food. The game was called "local color," in honor of Patty Wyatt's +famous definition in English class, "Local color is that which makes a +lie seem truthful." The object of the game was to see who could tell the +biggest lie without being found out; and the one rule required that the +victims be disillusionized before they left the table.</div> + +<p>Patty was the instigator, the champion player, and the final victim of +the game. Baron Münchhausen himself would have blushed at some of her +creations, and her stories were told with such an air of ingenuous<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[180]</a></span> +honesty that the most outrageous among them obtained credence.</p> + +<p>The game in its original conception may have been innocent enough, but +the rule was not always as carefully observed as it should have been, +and the most unaccountable scandals began to float about college. The +president of "Christians" had been called up for cutting chapel. The +shark of the class had flunked her ethics, and even failed to get +through on the "re." Cathy Fair was an own cousin of Professor +Hitchcock's, and called him "Tommy" to his face. These, and far worse, +were becoming public property; and even personal fabrications in regard +to the faculty, intended solely for undergraduate consumption, were +reaching the ears of the faculty themselves.</p> + +<p>One day Patty dropped into an under-classman's room on some committee +work, and she found the children, in the manner of their elders, +regaling themselves on dainty bits of college gossip.</p> + +<p>"I heard the funniest thing about Professor<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[181]</a></span> Winters yesterday," piped +up a sophomore.</p> + +<p>"Tell it to us. What was it?" cried a chorus of voices.</p> + +<p>"I'd like to hear something funny about Professor Winters; he's the +solemnest-looking man I ever saw," remarked a freshman.</p> + +<p>"Well," resumed the sophomore, "it seems he was going to get married +last week, and the invitations were all out, and the presents all there, +when the bride came down with the mumps."</p> + +<p>"Really? How funny!" came in a chorus from the delighted auditors.</p> + +<p>"Yes—on both sides; and the clergyman had never had it, so the ceremony +had to be postponed."</p> + +<p>Patty's blood froze. She recognized the tale. It was one of her own +offspring, only shorn of its unessential adornments.</p> + +<p>"Where in the world did you hear any such absurd thing as that?" she +demanded severely.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[182]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I heard Lucille Carter tell it at a fudge party up in Bonnie +Connaught's room last night," answered the sophomore, stoutly, sure that +the source was a reputable one.</p> + +<p>Patty groaned. "And I suppose that every blessed one of that dozen girls +has told it to another dozen by this time, and that it's only bounded by +the boundaries of the campus. Well, there's not a word of truth in it. +Lucille Carter doesn't know what she is talking about. That's a likely +story, isn't it?" she added with fine scorn. "Does Professor Winters +look like a man who'd ever dare propose to a girl, let alone marry her?" +And she stalked out of the room and up to the single where Lucille +lived.</p> + +<p>"Lucille," said Patty, "what do you mean by spreading that story about +Professor Winters's bride's mumps?"</p> + +<p>"You told it to me yourself," answered Lucille, with some warmth. She +was a believing creature with an essentially literal mind, and she had +always been out<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[183]</a></span> of her element in the lofty imaginative realms of local +color.</p> + +<p>"I told it to you!" said Patty, indignantly. "You goose, you don't mean +to tell me you believed it? I was just playing local color."</p> + +<p>"How should I know that? You told it as if it were true."</p> + +<p>"Of course," said Patty; "that's the game. You wouldn't have believed me +if I hadn't."</p> + +<p>"But you never said it wasn't true. You don't follow the rule."</p> + +<p>"I didn't think it was necessary. I never supposed any one would believe +any such absurd story as that."</p> + +<p>"I don't see how it was my fault."</p> + +<p>"Of course it was your fault. You shouldn't be spreading malicious tales +about the faculty; it's irreverent. The story's all over college by this +time, and Professor Winters has probably heard it himself. He'll flunk +you on the finals to pay for it; see if he doesn't." And Patty went +home, leaving a conscience-smitten<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[184]</a></span> and thoroughly indignant Lucille +behind her.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p><span class="smcap">About</span> a month before the introduction of local color, Patty had entered +upon a new activity, which she referred to impartially as "molding +public opinion" and "elevating the press." The way of it was this:</p> + +<p>The college, which was a modest and retiring institution craving only to +be unmolested in its atmosphere of academic calm, had been recently +exploited by a sensational newspaper. The fact that none of the stories +was true did not mitigate the annoyance. The college was besieged by +reporters who had heard rumors and wished to have them corroborated for +exclusive publication in the "Censor" or "Advertiser" or "Star." And +they would also like a photograph of Miss Bentley as she appeared in the +character of Portia; and since she refused to give it to them, they +stated their intention of "faking" one, which, they gallantly<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[185]</a></span> assured +her, would be far homelier than the original.</p> + +<p>The climax was reached when Bonnie Connaught was unfortunate enough to +sprain her ankle in basket-ball. Something more than a life-size +portrait of her, clothed in a masculine-looking sweater, with a +basket-ball under her arm, appeared in a New York evening paper, and +scare-heads three inches high announced in red ink that the champion +athlete and most popular society girl in college was at death's door, +owing to injuries received in basket-ball.</p> + +<p>Bonnie's eminently respectable family descended upon the college in an +indignant body for the purpose of taking her home, and were with +difficulty soothed by an equally indignant faculty. The alumnæ wrote +that in their day such brutal games as basket-ball had not been +countenanced, and that they feared the college had deteriorated. Parents +wrote that they would remove their daughters from college if they were +to be subjected to such<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[186]</a></span> publicity; and the poor president was, of +course, quite helpless before the glorious American privilege of free +speech.</p> + +<p>Finally the college hit upon a partially protective measure—that of +furnishing its own news; and a regularly organized newspaper corps was +formed among the students, with a member of the faculty at the head. The +more respectable of the papers were very glad to have a correspondent +from the inside whose facts needed no investigation, and the less +respectable in due time betook themselves to more fruitful fields of +scandal and happily forgot the existence of the college.</p> + +<p>Patty, having the reputation of being an "English shark," had been duly +empaneled and presented with a local paper. At first she had been filled +with a fit sense of the responsibility of the position, and had +conscientiously neglected her college work for its sake; but in time the +novelty wore off, and her weekly budgets became more and more +perfunctory in character.</p> + +<p>The choice of Patty for this particular<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[187]</a></span> paper perhaps had not been very +far-sighted, for the editor wished a column a week of what he designated +as "chatty news," whereas it would have been wiser to have given her a +city paper which required only a brief statement of important facts. +Patty's own tendencies, it must be confessed, had a slightly yellow +tinge, and, with a delighted editor egging her on, it was hard for her +to suppress her latent love for "local color." The paper, however, had a +wide circulation among the faculty, which circumstance tended to have a +chastening effect.</p> + +<p>The day following Patty's bride-with-the-mumps contretemps with Lucille +happened to be Friday, and she was painfully engaged in her weekly +molding of public opinion. It had been a barren week, and there was +nothing to write about.</p> + +<p>She reviewed at length a set of French encyclopedias which had been +given to the library, and spoke with enthusiasm of a remarkable +collection of jaw-bones of the prehistoric cow which had been presented +to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[188]</a></span> the department of paleontology. She gave in full the list of the +seventeen girls who had been honored with scholarships, laboriously +writing out their full names, with "Miss" attached to each, and the name +of the town and the State in its unabbreviated length. And still it only +mounted up to ten pages, and it took eighteen of Patty's writing to make +a column.</p> + +<p>She strolled down to examine the bulletin-board again, and discovered a +new notice which she had overlooked before:</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>Friday, January 17. Professor James Harkner Wallis +of the Lick Observatory will lecture in the +auditorium, at eight o'clock, upon "Theories of +the Sidereal System." </p></div> + +<p>Patty regarded the notice without emotion. It did not look capable of +expansion, and she did not feel the remotest interest in the sidereal +system. The brief account of the lecturer, however, which was appended +to the notice, stated that Professor Wallis was one of the best known of +living astronomers, and that he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[189]</a></span> had conducted important original +investigations.</p> + +<p>"If I knew anything about astronomy," she thought desperately, "I might +be able to spread him out over two pages."</p> + +<p>An acquaintance of Patty's strolled up to the bulletin-board.</p> + +<p>"Did you ever hear of that man?" asked Patty, pointing to the notice.</p> + +<p>"Never; but I'm not an astronomer."</p> + +<p>"I'm not, either," said Patty. "I wonder who he is?" she added +wistfully. "It seems he's very famous, and I'd really like to know +something about him."</p> + +<p>The girl opened her eyes in some surprise at this thirst for gratuitous +information; it did not accord with Patty's reputation: and ever after, +when it was affirmed in her presence that Patty Wyatt was brilliant but +superficial, she stoutly maintained that Patty was deeper than people +thought. She pondered a moment, and then returned, "Lucille Carter takes +astronomy; she could tell you about him."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[190]</a></span></p> + +<p>"So she does. I'd forgotten it"; and Patty swung off toward Lucille's +room.</p> + +<p>She found a number of girls sitting around on the various pieces of +furniture, eating fudge and discussing the tragedies of one Maeterlinck.</p> + +<p>"What's this?" said Patty. "A party?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, no," said Lucille; "just an extra session of the Dramatic Theory +class. Don't be afraid; there's your room-mate up on the window-seat."</p> + +<p>"Hello, Pris. What are you doing here?" said Patty, dipping out some +fudge with a spoon. (There had been a disagreement as to how long it +should boil.)</p> + +<p>"Just paying a social call. What are you doing? I thought you were going +to hurry up and get through so you could go down-town to dinner."</p> + +<p>"I am," said Patty, vaguely; "but I got lonely."</p> + +<p>The conversation drifting off to Maeterlinck again, she seized the +opportunity to inquire of Lucille: "Who's this astronomy<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[191]</a></span> man that's +going to lecture to-night? He's quite famous, isn't he?"</p> + +<p>"Very," said Lucille. "Professor Phelps has been talking about him every +day for the last week."</p> + +<p>"Where's the Lick Observatory, anyway?" pursued Patty. "I can't +remember, for the life of me, whether it's in California or on Pike's +Peak."</p> + +<p>Lucille considered a moment. "It's in Dublin, Ireland."</p> + +<p>"Dublin, Ireland?" asked Patty, in some surprise. "I could have sworn +that it was in California. Are you sure you know where it is, Lucille?"</p> + +<p>"Of course I'm sure. Haven't we been having it for three days steady? +California! You must be crazy, Patty. I think you'd better elect +astronomy."</p> + +<p>"I know it," said Patty, meekly. "I was going to, but I heard that it +was terribly hard, and I thought senior year you have a right to take +something a little easy. But, you know, that's the funniest thing about +the Lick Observatory, for I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[192]</a></span> really know a lot about it—read an article +on it just a little while ago; and I don't know how I got the +impression, but I was almost sure it was in the United States. It just +shows that you can never be sure of anything."</p> + +<p>"No," said Lucille; "it isn't safe."</p> + +<p>"Is it connected with Dublin University?" asked Patty.</p> + +<p>"I believe so," said Lucille.</p> + +<p>"And this astronomy person," continued Patty, warming to her work—"I +suppose he's an Irishman, then."</p> + +<p>"Of course," said Lucille. "He's very noted."</p> + +<p>"What's he done?" asked Patty. "It said on the bulletin-board he'd made +some important discoveries. I suppose, though, they're frightful +technicalities that no one ever heard of."</p> + +<p>"Well," said Lucille, considering, "he discovered the rings of Saturn +and the Milky Way."</p> + +<p>"The rings of Saturn! Why, I thought those had been discovered <i>ages</i> +ago. He<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[193]</a></span> must be a terribly old man. I remember reading about them when +I was an infant in arms."</p> + +<p>"It was a good while ago," said Lucille. "Eight or nine years, at +least."</p> + +<p>"And the Milky Way!" continued Patty, with a show of incredulity. "I +don't see how people could have helped discovering that long ago. I +could have done it myself, and I don't pretend to know anything about +astronomy."</p> + +<p>"Oh, of course," Lucille hastened to explain, "the phenomenon had been +observed before, but had never been accounted for."</p> + +<p>"I see," said Patty, surreptitiously taking notes. "He must really be an +awfully important man. How did he happen to do all this?"</p> + +<p>"He went up in a balloon," said Lucille, vaguely.</p> + +<p>"A balloon! What fun!" exclaimed Patty, her reportorial instinct waking +to the scent. "They use balloons a lot more in Europe than they do +here."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[194]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I believe he has his balloon with him here in America," said Lucille. +"He never travels without it."</p> + +<p>"What's the good of it?" inquired Patty. "I suppose," she continued, +furnishing her own explanation, "it gets him such a lot nearer to the +stars."</p> + +<p>"That's without doubt the reason," said Lucille.</p> + +<p>"I wish he'd send it up here," sighed Patty. "Do you know any more +interesting details about him?"</p> + +<p>"N—no," said Lucille; "I can't think of any more at present."</p> + +<p>"He's certainly the most interesting professor I ever heard of," said +Patty, "and it's strange I never heard of him before."</p> + +<p>"There seem to be a good many things you have never heard of," observed +Lucille.</p> + +<p>"Yes," acknowledged Patty; "there are."</p> + +<p>"Well, Patty," said Priscilla, emerging from the discussion on the other +side of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[195]</a></span> the room, "if you're going to dinner with me, you'd better stop +fooling with Lucille, and go home and get your work done."</p> + +<p>"Very well," said Patty, rising with obliging promptitude. "Good-by, +girls. Come and see me and I'll give you some fudge that's done. Thank +you for the information," she called back to Lucille.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> Monday afternoon following, Patty and Priscilla, with two or three +other girls, came strolling back from the lake, jingling their skates +over their arms.</p> + +<p>"Come in, girls, and have some hot tea," said Priscilla, as they reached +the study door.</p> + +<p>"Here's a note for Patty," said Bonnie Connaught, picking up an envelop +from the table. "Terribly official-looking. Must have come in the +college mail. Open it, Patty, and let's see what you've flunked."</p> + +<p>"Dear me!" said Patty, "I thought that was a habit I'd outgrown freshman +year."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[196]</a></span></p> + +<p>They crowded around and read the note over her shoulder. Patty had no +secrets.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> +<div class='right'> +<span class="smcap">The Observatory</span>, January 20.<br /></div> +Miss Patty Wyatt.<br /> + + +<p><span class="smcap">Dear Miss Wyatt:</span> I am informed that you are the +correspondent for the "Saturday Evening +Post-Despatch," and I take the liberty of calling +your attention to a rather grave error which +occurred in last week's issue. You stated that the +Lick Observatory is in Dublin, Ireland, while, as +is a matter of general information, it is situated +near San Francisco, California. Professor James +Harkner Wallis is not an Irishman; he is an +American. Though he has carried on some very +important investigations, he is the discoverer of +neither the rings of Saturn nor the Milky Way.</p> + +<div class='right'> +<span style="margin-right: 4em;">Very truly yours,</span><br /> +<span class="smcap">Howard D. Phelps</span>.<br /> +</div> +</div> + +<p>"It's from Professor Phelps—what can he mean?" said the Twin, in +bewilderment.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Patty," groaned Priscilla, "you don't mean to say that you actually +believed all that stuff?"</p> + +<p>"Of course I believed it. How could I know she was lying?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[197]</a></span></p> + +<p>"She wasn't lying. Don't use such reckless language."</p> + +<p>"I'd like to know what you call it, then?" said Patty, angrily.</p> + +<p>"Local color, my dear, just local color. The worm will turn, you know."</p> + +<p>"Why didn't you tell me?" wailed Patty.</p> + +<p>"Never supposed for a moment you believed her. Thought you were joking +all the time."</p> + +<p>"What's the matter, Patty? What have you done?" the others demanded, +divided between a pardonable feeling of curiosity and a sense that they +ought to retire before this domestic tragedy.</p> + +<p>"Oh, tell them," said Patty, bitterly. "Tell every one you see. Shout it +from the dome of the observatory. You might as well; it'll be all over +college in a couple of hours."</p> + +<p>Priscilla explained, and as she explained the funny side began to strike +her. By the time she had finished they were all—except Patty—reduced +to hysterics.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[198]</a></span></p> + +<p>"The poor editor," gurgled Priscilla. "He's always after a scoop, and +he's certainly got one this time."</p> + +<p>"Where is it, Patty—the paper?" gasped Bonnie.</p> + +<p>"I threw it away," said Patty, sulkily.</p> + +<p>Priscilla rummaged it out of the waste-basket, and the four bent over it +delightedly.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><a name="no" id="no"></a><p>Ireland's eminent astronomer spending a few weeks +in America lecturing at the principal +colleges—His famous discovery of the rings of +Saturn made during a balloon ascension three +thousand feet in the air—Though this is his first +visit to the States, he speaks with only a slight +brogue—Loyal son of old Erin </p></div> + +<p>"Patty, Patty! And you, of all people, to be so gullible!"</p> + +<p>"Professor James Harkner Wallis's parents will be writing to Prexy next +to say that their son can't lecture here any more if he is to be +subjected to this sort of thing."</p> + +<p>"It's disgusting!" said Bonnie Connaught, feelingly.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[199]</a></span></p> + +<p>"When you've got through laughing, I wish you'd tell me what to do."</p> + +<p>"Tell Professor Phelps it was a slip of the pen."</p> + +<p>"A slip of the pen to the extent of half a column is good," said the +Twin.</p> + +<p>"I think you girls are beastly to laugh when I am probably being +expelled this minute."</p> + +<p>"Faculty meeting doesn't come till four," said Bonnie.</p> + +<p>Patty sat down by the desk and buried her head in her arms.</p> + +<p>"Patty," said Priscilla, "you aren't crying, are you?"</p> + +<p>"No," said Patty, savagely; "I'm thinking."</p> + +<p>"You will never think of anything that will explain that."</p> + +<p>Patty looked up with the air of one who has received an inspiration. +"I'm going to tell him the truth."</p> + +<p>"Don't do anything so rash," pleaded the Twin.</p> + +<p>"That is, of course, the only thing you<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[200]</a></span> can do," said Priscilla. "Sit +down and write him a note, and I'll promise not to laugh till you get +through."</p> + +<p>Patty stood up. "I think," she said, "I'll go and see him."</p> + +<p>"Oh, no. Write him a note. It's loads easier."</p> + +<p>"No," said Patty, with dignity; "I think I owe him a personal +explanation. Is my hair all right? If you girls reveal this to a single +person before I come back, I'll not tell you a thing he says," she added +as she closed the door.</p> + +<p>Patty returned half an hour later, just as they were finally settling +down to tea. She peered around the darkening room; finding only four +expectant faces, she leisurely seated herself on a cushion on the floor +and stretched out her hand for a steaming cup.</p> + +<p>"What did he say? What kept you so long?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, I stopped in the office to change my electives, and it delayed me."</p> + +<p>"You don't mean to tell me that man<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[201]</a></span> made you elect astronomy?" +Priscilla asked indignantly.</p> + +<p>"Certainly not," said Patty. "I shouldn't have done it if he had."</p> + +<p>"Oh, Patty, I know you like to tease, but I think it's odious. You know +we're in suspense. Tell us what happened."</p> + +<p>"Well," said Patty, placidly gathering her skirts about her, "I told him +exactly how it was. I didn't hide anything—not even the bride with the +mumps."</p> + +<p>"Was he cross, or did he laugh?"</p> + +<p>"He laughed," said Patty, "till I thought he was going to fall off his +chair, and I looked anxiously around for some water and a call-bell. He +really has a surprising sense of humor for a member of the faculty."</p> + +<p>"Was he nice?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Patty; "he was a dear. When he got through discussing +Universal Truth, I asked him if I might elect astronomy, and he said I +would find it pretty hard the second semester; but I told him I was +willing to work, and he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[202]</a></span> said I really showed a remarkable aptitude for +explaining phenomena, and that if I were in earnest he would be glad to +have me in the class."</p> + +<p>"I think a man as forgiving as that <i>ought</i> to be elected," said +Priscilla.</p> + +<p>"You certainly have more courage than I gave you credit for," said +Bonnie. "I never could have gone over and explained to that man in the +wide world."</p> + +<p>Patty smiled discreetly. "When you have to explain to a woman," she said +in the tone of one who is stating a natural law, "it is better to write +a note; but when it is a man, always explain in person."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[203]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[204]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[205]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>XII</h2> + +<h3>The Exigencies of Etiquette</h3> + + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 173px;"> +<img src="images/iquot.png" width="173" height="150" alt="I" title="I" /> +</div> +<div class='unindent'><br /><br />F I had been the one to invent etiquette," said Patty, "I should have +made party calls payable one year after date, and then should have +allowed three days' grace at the end."</div> + +<p>"In which case," said Priscilla, "I suppose you would get out of calling +on Mrs. Millard altogether."</p> + +<p>"Exactly," said Patty.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Millard—more familiarly referred to as Mrs. Prexy—annually +invited the seniors to dinner in parties of ten. Patty, whose turn had +come a short time before, owing to an untoward misfortune, had been in +the infirmary at the time; but, though she had missed the fun, she now +found it necessary to pay the call.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[206]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Of course," she resumed, "I can see why you should be expected to call +if you attend the function and partake of the food; but what I <i>can't</i> +understand is why a peaceable citizen who desires only to gang his ain +gait should, upon the reception of an entirely unsolicited invitation, +suddenly find it incumbent upon him to put on his best dress and his +best hat and gloves in order to call upon people he barely knows."</p> + +<p>"Your genders," said Priscilla, "are a trifle mixed."</p> + +<p>"That," said Patty, "is the fault of the language. The logic, I think, +you will find correct. You can see what would happen," she pursued, "if +you carry it out to its logical conclusion. Suppose, for instance, that +every woman I have ever met in this town should suddenly take it into +her head to invite me to a dinner. Here I—perfectly unsuspicious and +innocent of any evil, because of a purely arbitrary law which I did not +help to make—would not only have to sit down and write a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[207]</a></span> hundred +regrets, but would have to pay a hundred calls within the next two +weeks. It makes me shudder to think of it!"</p> + +<p>"I don't believe you need worry about it, Patty; of course we know +you're popular, but you're not as popular as that."</p> + +<p>"No," said Patty; "I didn't mean that I thought I really <i>should</i> get +that many invitations. It's only that one is open to the constant +danger."</p> + +<p>During the progress of this conversation Georgie Merriles had been +lounging on the couch by the window, reading the "Merchant of Venice" in +a critically unimpassioned way that the instructor in Dramatic Theory +could not have praised too much. The room finally having become too dark +for reading, she threw down the book with something like a yawn. "It +would have been a joke on Portia," she remarked, "if Bassanio had chosen +the wrong casket"; and she turned her attention to the campus outside. +Groups of girls were coming along the path from the lake, and the sound +of their<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[208]</a></span> voices, mingled with laughter and the jingling of skates, +floated up through the gathering dusk. Across the stretches of snow and +bare trees lights were beginning to twinkle in the other dormitories, +while nearer at hand, and more clearly visible, rose the irregular +outline of the president's house.</p> + +<p>"Patty," said Georgie, with her nose against the pane, "if you really +want to get that call out of the way, now's your chance. Mrs. Millard +has just gone out."</p> + +<p>Patty dashed into her bedroom and began jerking out bureau drawers. +"Priscilla," she called in an agonized tone, "do you remember where I +keep my cards?"</p> + +<p>"It's ten minutes of six, Patty; you can't go now."</p> + +<p>"Yes, I can. It doesn't matter what time it is, so long as she's out. +I'll go just as I am."</p> + +<p>"Not in a golf-cape!"</p> + +<p>Patty hesitated an instant. "Well," she admitted, "I suppose the butler +might<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[209]</a></span> tell her. I'll put on a hat"—this with the air of one who is +making a really great concession. Some more banging of bureau drawers, +and she appeared in a black velvet hat trimmed with lace, with the brown +jacket of her suit over her red blouse, and a blue golf-skirt and very +muddy boots showing below.</p> + +<p>"Patty, you're a disgrace to the room!" cried Priscilla. "Do you mean to +tell me that you are going to Mrs. Millard's in a short skirt and those +awful skating-shoes?"</p> + +<p>"The butler won't look at my feet; I'm so beautiful above"; and Patty +banged the door behind her.</p> + +<p>Georgie and Priscilla flattened themselves against the window to watch +the progress of the call.</p> + +<p>"Look," gasped Priscilla. "There's Mrs. Millard going in at the back +door."</p> + +<p>"And there's Patty. My, but she looks funny!"</p> + +<p>"Call her back," cried Priscilla, wildly trying to open the window.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[210]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Let her alone," laughed Georgie; "it will be such fun to gloat over +her."</p> + +<p>The window came up with a jerk. "Patty! Patty!" shrieked Priscilla.</p> + +<p>Patty turned and waved her hand airily. "Can't stop now—will be back in +a moment"; and she sped on around the corner.</p> + +<p>The two stood watching the house for several minutes, vaguely expecting +an explosion of some sort to occur. But nothing happened. Patty was +swallowed as if by the grave, and the house gave no sign. They +accordingly shrugged their shoulders and dressed for dinner with the +philosophy which a life fraught with alarms and surprises gives.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p><span class="smcap">Dinner</span> was half over, and the table had finished discussing Patty's +demise, when that young lady trailed placidly in, smiled on the +expectant faces, and inquired what kind of soup they had had.</p> + +<p>"Bean soup; it wasn't any good," said Georgie, impatiently. "What +happened? Did you have a nice call?"</p> + +<p>"No, Maggie, I don't care for any soup<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[211]</a></span> to-night. Just bring me some +steak, please."</p> + +<p>"Patty!" in a pleading chorus, "what happened?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, I beg your pardon," said Patty, sweetly. "Yes, thank you, I had a +very pleasant call. May I trouble you for the bread, Lucille?"</p> + +<p>"Patty, I think you're obnoxious," said Georgie. "Tell us what +happened."</p> + +<p>"Well," began Patty, in a leisurely manner, "I said to the butler, 'Is +Mrs. Millard in?' and he said to me (without even a smile), 'I am not +sure, miss; will you please step into the drawing-room and I'll see.' I +was going to tell him that he needn't bother, as I knew she was out; but +I thought that perhaps it would look a little better if I waited and let +him find out for himself. So I walked in and sat down in a +pink-and-white embroidered <i>Louis-Quatorze</i> chair. There was a big +mirror in front of me, and I had plenty of time to study the effect, +which, I will acknowledge, was a trifle mixed."</p> + +<p>"A trifle," Georgie assented.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[212]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I was beginning," pursued Patty, "to feel nervous for fear some of the +family might drop in, when the man came back and said, 'Mrs. Millard +will be down in a minute.'</p> + +<p>"If I had seen you at that moment, Georgie Merriles, there would have +been battle, murder, and sudden death. My first thought was of flight; +but the man was guarding the door, and Mrs. Prexy had my card. While I +was frenziedly trying to think of a valid excuse for my costume the lady +came in, and I rose and greeted her graciously, one might almost say +gushingly. I talked very fast and tried to hypnotize her, so that she +would keep her eyes on my face; but it was no use: I saw them traveling +downward, and pretty soon I knew by the amused expression that they had +arrived at my shoes.</p> + +<p>"Concealment was no longer possible," pursued Patty, warming to her +subject. "I threw myself upon her mercy and confessed the whole damning +truth. What kind of ice-cream is that?" she demanded,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[213]</a></span> leaning forward +and gazing anxiously after a passing maid. "<i>Don't</i> tell me they're +giving us raspberry again!"</p> + +<p>"No; it's vanilla. Go on, Patty."</p> + +<p>"Well, where was I?"</p> + +<p>"You'd just told her the truth."</p> + +<p>"Oh, yes. She said she'd always wanted to meet the college girls +informally and know them just as they are, and she was very glad of this +opportunity. And there I sat, looking like a kaleidoscope and feeling +like a fool, and she taking it for granted that I was being perfectly +natural. Complimentary, wasn't it? At this point dinner was announced, +and she invited me to stay—quite insisted, in fact, to make up, she +said, for the one I had missed when I was ill in the infirmary." Patty +looked around the table with a reminiscent smile.</p> + +<p>"What did you say? Did you refuse?" asked Lucille.</p> + +<p>"No; I accepted, and am over there at present, eating <i>pâté de foie +gras</i>."</p> + +<p>"No, really, Patty; what did you say?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[214]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Well," said Patty, "I told her that this was ice-cream night at the +college, and that I sort of hated to miss it; but that to-morrow would +be mutton night, which I didn't mind missing in the least; so if she +would just as leave transfer her invitation, I would accept for +to-morrow with pleasure."</p> + +<p>"Patty," exclaimed Lucille, in a horrified tone, "you didn't say that!"</p> + +<p>"Just a little local color, Lucille," laughed Priscilla.</p> + +<p>"But," objected Lucille, "we'd promised not to play local color any +more."</p> + +<p>"Have you not learned," said Priscilla, "that Patty can no more live +without local color than she can live without food? It's ingrained in +her nature."</p> + +<p>"Never mind," said Patty, good-naturedly; "you may not believe me now, +but to-morrow night, when I'm all dressed up in beautiful clothes, +swapping stories with Prexy and eating lobster salad, while you are over +here having mutton, <i>then</i> maybe you'll be sorry."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[215]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[216]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[217]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>XIII</h2> + +<h3>A Crash Without</h3> + + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 173px;"> +<img src="images/iquot.png" width="173" height="150" alt="I" title="I" /> +</div> +<div class='unindent'><br /><br /> LOVE the smell of powder," said Patty.</div> + +<p>"Gunpowder or baking-powder?"</p> + +<p>As Patty at the moment had her nose buried in a box of face-powder she +thought it unnecessary to answer.</p> + +<p>"It brings back my youth," she pursued. "The best times of my life have +been mixed up with powder and rouge—Washington's Birthday nights, and +minstrel shows, and masquerades, and plays at boarding-school, and even +Mother Goose tableaux when I was a—"</p> + +<p>Patty's reminiscences were interrupted by Georgie, who was anxiously +pacing up and down the wings. "It's queer some of the cast don't come. I +told them to be here early, so we could get them<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[218]</a></span> all made up and not +have a rush at the end."</p> + +<p>"Oh, there's time enough," said Patty, comfortably. "It isn't seven yet, +and if they're going to dress in their rooms it won't take any time over +here just to make them up and put on their wigs. It's a comparatively +small cast, you see. Now, on the night of the Trig. ceremonies, when we +had to make up three whole ballets and only had one box of make-up, we +<i>were</i> rushed. I thought I'd never live to see the curtain go down. Do +you remember the suit of chain-mail we made for Bonnie Connaught out of +wire dish-cloths? It took sixty-three, and the ten-cent store was +terribly dubious about renting them to us; and then, after working every +spare second for three days over the thing, we found, the last minute, +that we hadn't left a big enough hole for her to get into, and—"</p> + +<p>"Oh, do keep still, Patty," said Georgie, nervously; "I can't remember +what I have to do when you talk all the time."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[219]</a></span></p> + +<p>A manager on the eve of producing a new play, with his reputation at +stake, may be excused for being a trifle irritable. Patty merely +shrugged her shoulders and descended through the stage-door to the +half-lighted hall, where she found Cathy Fair strolling up and down the +center aisle in an apparently aimless manner.</p> + +<p>"Hello, Cathy," said Patty; "what are you doing over here?"</p> + +<p>"I'm head usher, and I wanted to see if those foolish sophomores had +mixed up the numbers again."</p> + +<p>"It strikes me they're a trifle close together," said Patty, sitting +down and squeezing in her knees.</p> + +<p>"Yes, I know; but you can't get eight hundred people into this hall any +other way. When we once get them packed they'll have to sit still, +that's all. What are you doing over here yourself?" she continued. "I +didn't know you were on the committee. Or are you just helping +Georgie?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[220]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I'm in the cast," said Patty.</p> + +<p>"Oh, are you? I saw the program to-day, but I'd forgotten it. I've often +wondered why you haven't been in any of the class plays."</p> + +<p>"Fortune and the faculty are against it," sighed Patty. "You see, they +didn't discover my histrionic ability before examinations freshman year, +and after examinations, when I was asked to be in the play, the faculty +thought I could spend the time to better advantage studying Greek. At +the time of the sophomore play I was on something else and couldn't +serve, and this year I had just been deprived of my privileges for +coming back late after Christmas."</p> + +<p>"But I thought you said you were in it?"</p> + +<p>"Oh," said Patty, "it's a minor part, and my name doesn't appear."</p> + +<p>"What sort of a part is it?"</p> + +<p>"I'm a crash."</p> + +<p>"A crash?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, 'a crash without.' Lord Bromley<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[221]</a></span> says, 'Cynthia, I will brave all +for your sake. I will follow you to the ends of the earth.' At this +point a crash is heard without. I," said Patty, proudly, "am the crash. +I sit behind a moonlit balcony in a space about two feet square, and +drop a lamp-chimney into a box. It may not sound like a very important +part, but it is the pivot upon which the whole plot turns."</p> + +<p>"I hope you won't be taken with stage-fright," laughed Cathy.</p> + +<p>"I'll try not," said Patty. "There comes the butler and Lord Bromley and +Cynthia. I've got to go and make them up."</p> + +<p>"Why are you making people up, if you are not on the committee?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, once, during a period of mental weakness, I took china-painting +lessons, and I'm supposed to know how. Good-by."</p> + +<p>"Good-by. If you get any flowers I'll send them in by an usher."</p> + +<p>"Do," said Patty. "I'm sure to get a lot."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[222]</a></span></p> + +<p>Behind the scenes all was joyful confusion. Georgie, in a short skirt, +with her shirt-waist sleeves rolled up and a note-book in her hand, was +standing in the middle of the stage directing the scene-shifters and +distracted committee. Patty, in the "green-room," was presiding over the +cast, with a hare's foot in one hand and the other daubed with red and +blue grease-paints.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Patty," remonstrated Cynthia, with a horrified glance in the +mirror, "I look more like a soubrette than a heroine."</p> + +<p>"That's the way you ought to look," returned Patty. "Here, hold still +till I put another dab on your chin."</p> + +<p>Cynthia appealed to the faithful Lord Bromley, who was sitting in the +background, politely letting the ladies go first. "Look, Bonnie, don't +you think I'm too red? I know it'll all come off when you kiss me."</p> + +<p>"If it comes off as easily as that, you'll be more fortunate than most +of the people I make up"; and Patty smiled knowingly<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[223]</a></span> as she remembered +how Priscilla had soaked half the night on the occasion of a previous +play, and then had appeared at breakfast the next morning with lowering +eyebrows and a hectic flush on each cheek. "You must remember that +foot-lights take a lot of color," she explained condescendingly. "You'd +look ghastly if I let you go the way you wanted to at first. Next!</p> + +<p>"No," said Patty, as the butler presented himself; "you don't come till +the second act. I'll take the Irate Parent first." The Irate Parent was +dragged from a corner where he had been anxiously mumbling over his +lines. "What's the matter?" asked Patty, as she began daubing in +wrinkles with a liberal hand; "are you afraid?"</p> + +<p>"N-no," said the Parent; "I'm not afraid, only I'm afraid that I will be +afraid."</p> + +<p>"You'd just better change your mind, then," said Patty, sternly. "We +aren't going to allow any stage-fright to-night."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">[224]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Patty, you can manage Georgie Merriles; make her let me go on without +any wig," cried Cynthia, returning and holding up to view a mass of +yellow curls of a shade that was never produced in the course of nature.</p> + +<p>Patty looked at the wig critically. "It is, perhaps, a trifle golden for +the part."</p> + +<p>"Golden!" said Cynthia. "It's positively <i>orange</i>. Wait till you see how +it lights up. He calls me his dark-eyed beauty: and I'm sure no one with +dark eyes, or any other kind of eyes, would have hair like that. My own +looks a great deal better."</p> + +<p>"Why don't you wear your own, then? Wrinkle up your forehead, Parent, +and let me see which way they run."</p> + +<p>"Georgie paid two dollars for renting it, and she's bound to get the +money's worth of wear out of it, even if she makes me look like a fright +and spoils the play."</p> + +<p>"Nonsense," said Patty, pushing away the Parent and giving her undivided +attention to the question. "Your own hair<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">[225]</a></span> does look better. Just mislay +the wig and keep out of Georgie's way till the curtain goes up. The +audience are beginning to come," she announced to the room in general, +"and you've got to keep still back there. You're making an awful racket, +and they can hear you all over the house. Here, what are you making such +a noise for?" she demanded of Lord Bromley, who came clumping up with +footfalls which reverberated through the flies.</p> + +<p>"I can't help it," he said crossly. "Look at these boots. They're so big +that I can step out of them without unlacing them."</p> + +<p>"It's not my fault. I haven't anything to do with the costumes."</p> + +<p>"I know it; but what can I do?"</p> + +<p>"Never mind," said Patty, soothingly; "they don't look so awfully bad. +You'll have to try and walk without raising your feet."</p> + +<p>She went out on the stage, where Georgie was giving her last directions +to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">[226]</a></span> the scene-shifters. "The minute the curtain goes down on the first +act change this forest to the drawing-room scene, and don't make any +noise hammering. If you have to hammer, do it while the orchestra's +playing. How does it look?" she asked anxiously, turning to Patty.</p> + +<p>"Beautiful," said Patty. "I'd scarcely recognize it."</p> + +<p>The "forest scene" had served in every outdoor capacity for the last +four years, and it was usually hailed with a groan on the part of the +audience.</p> + +<p>"I was just coming in to see if the cast were ready," said Georgie.</p> + +<p>"They're all made up, and are sitting in the green-room getting +stage-fright. What shall I do now?"</p> + +<p>"Let me see," said Georgie, consulting her book. "One of the committee +is to prompt, one is to stay with the men and see that they manage the +curtain and the lights in the right places, one is to give the cues, and +two are to help change costumes. Cynthia has to change from a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_227" id="Page_227">[227]</a></span> +riding-habit to a ball-gown in four minutes. I think you'd better help +her, too."</p> + +<p>"Anything you please," said Patty, obligingly. "I'll stand on a stool +with the ball-gown in the air ready to drop it over her head the moment +she appears, like a harness on a fire-horse. Is everything out here +done? What time is it?"</p> + +<p>"Yes; everything's done, and it's five minutes of eight. We can begin as +soon as the audience is ready."</p> + +<p>They peered through the folds of the heavy velvet curtain at the sea of +faces in front. Eight hundred girls in light evening-gowns were talking +and laughing and singing. Snatches of song would start up in one corner +and sweep gaily over the house, and sometimes two would meet and clash +in the center, to the horror of those who preferred harmony to volume.</p> + +<p>"Here come the old girls!" said Patty, as a procession of some fifty +filed into reserved seats near the front. "There are loads of last +year's class back. What are<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_228" id="Page_228">[228]</a></span> the juniors doing? Look; I believe they are +going to serenade them."</p> + +<p>The juniors rose in a body, and, turning to their departed sister class, +sang a song notable for its sentiment rather than its meter.</p> + +<p>"I do hope it will be a success," sighed Georgie. "If it doesn't come up +to last year's senior play I shall <i>die</i>."</p> + +<p>"Oh, it will," said Patty, reassuringly. "Anything would be better than +that."</p> + +<p>"Now the glee club's going to sing two songs," said Georgie. "Thank +heaven, they're new!" she added fervently. "And the orchestra plays an +overture, and then the curtain goes up. Run and tell them to come out +here, ready for the first act."</p> + +<p>Lord Bromley was standing in the wings disgustedly viewing the +banquet-table. "See here, Patty," he called as she hurried past. "Look +at this stuff Georgie Merriles has palmed off on us for wine. You can't +expect me to drink any such dope as <i>that</i>."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_229" id="Page_229">[229]</a></span></p> + +<p>Patty paused for an instant. "What's the matter with it?" she inquired, +pouring out some in a glass and holding it up to the light.</p> + +<p>"Matter? It's made of currant jelly and water, with cold tea mixed in."</p> + +<p>"I made it myself," said Patty, with some dignity. "It's a beautiful +color."</p> + +<p>"But I have to drain my glass at a draught," expostulated the outraged +lord.</p> + +<p>"I'm sure there's nothing in currant jelly or tea to hurt you. You can +be thankful it isn't poisonous." And Patty hurried on.</p> + +<p>The glee club sang the two new songs, punctuated with the appreciative +applause of a long-suffering audience, and the orchestra commenced the +overture.</p> + +<p>"Everybody clear the stage," said Georgie, in a low tone, "and you keep +your eyes on the book," she added sternly to the prompter; "you lost +your place twice at the dress rehearsal."</p> + +<p>The overture died down; a bell tinkled, and the curtain parted in the +middle, discovering<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_230" id="Page_230">[230]</a></span> Cynthia sitting on a garden-seat in the castle park +(originally the Forest of Arden).</p> + +<p>As the curtain fell at the end of the act, and the applause gave way to +an excited buzz in the audience, Patty hugged Georgie gleefully. "It's +fifty times better than last year!"</p> + +<p>"Heaven send Theo Granby is out there!" piously ejaculated Georgie. +(Theo Granby had been the chairman of last year's senior play.)</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> curtain had risen on the fourth act, and Patty squeezed herself into +the somewhat close quarters behind the balcony. There was +fortunately—or rather unfortunately—a window in the rear of the +building at this point, and Patty opened it and perched herself at one +end of the sill, with the lamp-chimney ready for use at the other end. +The crash was not due for some time, and Patty, having lately elected +astronomy, whiled away the interval by examining the stars.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_231" id="Page_231">[231]</a></span></p> + +<p>On the stage matters were approaching a climax. Lord Bromley was making +an excellent lover, as was proved by the fact that the audience was +taking him seriously instead of laughing through the love scenes as +usual.</p> + +<p>"Cynthia," he implored, "say that you will be mine, and I will brave all +for your sake. I will follow you to the ends of the earth." He gazed +tenderly into her eyes, and waited for the crash. A silence as of the +tomb prevailed, and he continued to gaze tenderly, while a grin rapidly +spread over the audience.</p> + +<p>"Hang Patty!" he murmured savagely. "Might have known she'd do something +like this.—What was that? Did you hear a noise?" he asked aloud.</p> + +<p>"No," said Cynthia, truthfully; "I did not hear anything."</p> + +<p>"Pretend you did," he whispered, and they continued to improvise. After +some five minutes of hopeless floundering, the prompter got them back on +the track again, and the act proceeded, with the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_232" id="Page_232">[232]</a></span> audience happily +unaware that anything was missing.</p> + +<p>Ten minutes later Lord Bromley was declaiming: "Cynthia, let us flee +this place. Its dark rooms haunt me; its silence oppresses me—" And the +crash came.</p> + +<p>For the first moment the audience was too startled to notice that the +actors were also taken by surprise. Then Lord Bromley, who was getting +used to emergencies, pulled himself together and ejaculated, "Hark! What +was that sound?"</p> + +<p>"I think it was a crash," said Cynthia.</p> + +<p>He grasped her hand and ran back toward the balcony. "Give us our +lines," he said to the prompter, as he went past.</p> + +<p>The prompter had dropped the book, and couldn't find the place.</p> + +<p>"Make them up," came in a piercing whisper from behind the balcony.</p> + +<p>A silence ensued while the two dashed back and forth, looking excitedly +up and down the stage. Then the despairing Lord Bromley stretched out +his arms in a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_233" id="Page_233">[233]</a></span> gesture of supplication. "Cynthia," he burst out in tones +of realistic longing, "I cannot bear this horrible suspense. Let us +flee." And they fled, fully three pages too early, forgetting to leave +the letter which should have apprised the Irate Parent of the +circumstance.</p> + +<p>Georgie was tramping up and down the wings, wringing her hands and +lamenting the day that ever Patty had been born.</p> + +<p>"Hurry up that Parent before they stop clapping," said Lord Bromley, +"and they'll never know the difference."</p> + +<p>The poor old man, with his wig over one ear, was unceremoniously hustled +on to the stage, where he raved up and down and swore never to forgive +his ungrateful daughter in so realistic a manner that the audience +forgot to wonder how he found it out. In due time the runaways returned +from the notary's, overcame the old man's harshness, received the +parental blessing, and the curtain fell on a scene of domestic felicity +that delighted the freshmen in the gallery.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_234" id="Page_234">[234]</a></span></p> + +<p>Patty crawled out from under the balcony and fell on her knees at +Georgie's feet.</p> + +<p>Lord Bromley raised her up. "Never mind, Patty. The audience doesn't +know the difference; and, anyway, it was all for the best. My mustache +wouldn't have stayed on more than two minutes longer."</p> + +<p>They could hear some one shouting in the front, "What's the matter with +Georgie Merriles?" and a hundred voices replied, "She's all right!"</p> + +<p>"Who's all right?"</p> + +<p>"G-e-o-r-g-i-e M-e-r-r-i-l-e-s."</p> + +<p>"What's the matter with the cast?"</p> + +<p>"They're all right!"</p> + +<p>The stage-door burst open and a crowd of congratulatory friends burst in +and gathered around the disheveled actors and committee. "It's the best +senior play since we've been in college." "The freshmen are simply crazy +over it." "Lord Bromley, your room will be full of flowers for a month." +"Patty," called the head usher, over the heads of the others, "let<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_235" id="Page_235">[235]</a></span> me +congratulate you. I was in the very back of the room, and never heard a +thing but your crash. It sounded <i>fine</i>!"</p> + +<p>"Patty," demanded Georgie, "what in the world were you doing?"</p> + +<p>"I was counting the stars," said the contrite Patty, "and then I +remembered too late, and I turned around suddenly, and it fell off. I am +terribly sorry."</p> + +<p>"Never mind," laughed Georgie; "since it turned out well, I'll forgive +you. All the cast and committee," she said, raising her voice, "come up +to my room for food. I'm sorry I can't invite you all," she added to the +girls crowded in the doorway, "but I live in a single."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_236" id="Page_236">[236]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_237" id="Page_237">[237]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_238" id="Page_238">[238]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_239" id="Page_239">[239]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>XIV</h2> + +<h3>The Mystery of the Shadowed Sophomore</h3> + + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 170px;"> +<img src="images/oquot.png" width="170" height="150" alt="O" title="O" /> +</div> +<div class='unindent'><br /><br />H, I say, Bonnie—Bonnie Connaught! Priscilla! Wait a minute," called +a girl from across the links, as the two were strolling homeward one +afternoon, dragging their caddie-bags behind them. They turned and +waited while Bonnie's sophomore cousin, Mildred Connaught, dashed up. +She grasped them excitedly, and at the same time glanced over her +shoulder with the air of a criminal who is being tracked.</div> + +<p>"I want to tell you something," she panted. "Come in here where no one +will see us"; and she dived into a clump of pine-trees growing by the +path.</p> + +<p>Priscilla and Bonnie followed more leisurely,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_240" id="Page_240">[240]</a></span> and dropped down on the +soft needles with an air of amused tolerance.</p> + +<p>"Well, Mildred, what's the matter?" Bonnie inquired mildly.</p> + +<p>The sophomore lowered her voice to an impressive whisper, although there +was not a person within a hundred yards. "I am being <i>followed</i>," she +said solemnly.</p> + +<p>"Followed!" exclaimed Bonnie, in amazement. "Are you crazy, child? You +act like a boy who's been reading dime novels."</p> + +<p>"Listen, girls. You mustn't tell a soul, because it's a great secret. +We're going to plant the class tree to-night, and I am chairman of the +ceremonies. Everything is ready—the costumes are finished and the plans +all arranged so that the class can get out to the place without being +seen. The freshmen haven't a suspicion that it's going to be to-night. +But they have found out that I'm chairman of the committee, and, if you +please,"—Mildred's eyes grew wide with excitement,—"they've been +<i>tracking</i> me for a week.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_241" id="Page_241">[241]</a></span> They have <i>relays</i> of girls appointed to +watch me, and I can't stir without a freshman tagging along behind. When +I went down to order the ice-cream, there was one right at my elbow, and +I had to pretend that I'd come for soda-water. I have simply had to let +the rest of the committee do all of the work, because I was so afraid +the freshmen would find out the time. It was funny at first, but I am +getting nervous. It's horrible to think that you're being watched all +the time. I feel as if I'd committed a murder, and keep looking over my +shoulder like—like Macbeth."</p> + +<p>"It's <i>awful</i>," Bonnie shuddered. "I'm thrilled to the bone to think of +the peril a member of my family is braving for the sake of her class."</p> + +<p>"You needn't laugh," said Mildred. "It's a serious matter. If those +freshmen come to our tree ceremonies, we'll never hear the last of it. +But they are not going to come," she added with a meaning smile. "They +have another engagement.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_242" id="Page_242">[242]</a></span> We chose to-night because there's a lecture +before the Archæological Society by some alumna person who's been +digging up remains in Rome. The freshmen have been told to go and hear +her on account of their Latin. Imagine their feelings when they are +cooped up in the auditorium, trying to look intelligent about the Roman +Forum, and listening to our yells outside!"</p> + +<p>Priscilla and Bonnie smiled appreciatively. It was not so long, after +all, since they themselves were sophomores, and they recalled their own +tree ceremonies, when the freshmen had <i>not</i> been cooped up.</p> + +<p>"But the trouble is," pursued Mildred, "that it's more important for me +to get there than any one else, because I have to dig the hole,—Peters +is really going to dig it, you know; I just take out the first +shovelful,—but I can't get there on account of that beastly scout. As +soon as she saw me acting suspicious, she'd run and warn the class."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_243" id="Page_243">[243]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I see," said Bonnie; "but what have Priscilla and I to do with it?"</p> + +<p>"Well," said Mildred, tentatively, "you're both pretty big, you know, +and you're our sister class, and you ought to help us."</p> + +<p>"Certainly," acquiesced Bonnie; "but in just what way?"</p> + +<p>"Well, my idea was this. If you would just stroll down by the lake after +chapel, and loiter sort of inconspicuously among the trees, you know, I +would come that way a little later, and then, when the detective person +came along after me, you could just nab her and—"</p> + +<p>"Chuck her in the lake?" asked Bonnie.</p> + +<p>"No, of course not. Don't use any force. Just politely detain her till +you hear us yelling—take her for a walk. She'd feel honored."</p> + +<p>Bonnie laughed. The program struck her as entertaining. "I don't see +anything very immoral in delaying a freshman<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_244" id="Page_244">[244]</a></span> who is going where she has +no business to go. What do you say, Pris?"</p> + +<p>"It's not exactly a Sunday-school excursion," acknowledged Priscilla, +"but I don't see why it isn't as legitimate for us to play detective as +for them."</p> + +<p>"By all means," said Bonnie. "Behold Sherlock Holmes and his friend Dr. +Watson about to solve the Mystery of the Shadowed Sophomore."</p> + +<p>"You've saved my life," said Mildred, feelingly. "Don't forget. Right +after chapel, by the lake." She peered warily out through the branches. +"I've got to get the keys to the gymnasium, so the refreshments can be +put in during chapel. Do you see anybody lurking about? I guess I can +get off without being seen. Good-by"; and she sped away like a hunted +animal.</p> + +<p>Bonnie looked after her and laughed. "'Youth is a great time, but +somewhat fussy,'" she quoted; and the two took their homeward way.</p> + +<p>They found Patty, who was experiencing<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_245" id="Page_245">[245]</a></span> a periodical fit of studying, +immersed in dictionaries and grammars. It was under protest that she +allowed herself to be interrupted long enough to hear the story of their +proposed adventure.</p> + +<p>"You babies!" she exclaimed. "Haven't you grown up yet? Don't you think +it's a little undignified for seniors—one might almost say alumnæ—to +be kidnapping freshmen?"</p> + +<p>"We're not kidnapping freshmen," Bonnie remonstrated; "we're teaching +them manners. It's my duty to protect my little cousin."</p> + +<p>"You can come with us and help detect," said Priscilla, generously.</p> + +<p>"Thank you," said Patty, loftily. "I haven't time to play with you +children. Cathy Fair and I are going to do Old English to-night."</p> + +<p>That evening, as Patty, keyed to the point of grappling with and +throwing whole pages of "Beowulf," stood outside the chapel door waiting +for Cathy to appear, the professor of Latin came out with a stranger.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_246" id="Page_246">[246]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Oh, Miss Wyatt!" she exclaimed in a relieved tone, pouncing upon Patty. +"I wish to present you to Miss Henderson, one of our alumnæ who is to +lecture to-night before the Archæological Society. She has not been back +for several years, and wishes to see the new buildings. Have you time to +show her around the campus a little before the lecture begins?"</p> + +<p>Patty bowed and murmured that she would be most happy, and cast an +agonized glance back at Cathy as she led the lecturer off. As they +strolled about, Patty poured out all the statistics she knew about the +various buildings, and Miss Henderson received them with exclamations of +delighted surprise. She was rather young and gushing for a Ph.D. and an +archæologist, Patty decided, and she wondered desperately how she could +dispose of her and get back to "Beowulf" and Cathy.</p> + +<p>They rounded the top of a little hill, and Miss Henderson exclaimed +delightedly,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_247" id="Page_247">[247]</a></span> "There is the lake, just as it used to be!"</p> + +<p>Patty stifled a desire to remark that lakes had a habit of staying where +they used to be, and asked politely if Miss Henderson would like to take +a row.</p> + +<p>Miss Henderson thought that it would be pleasant; but she had forgotten +her watch, and was afraid there would not be time.</p> + +<p>Patty glanced about vaguely for some further object of interest, and +spied Mildred Connaught sauntering toward the lake. She had forgotten +all about the Sherlock Holmes adventure, and she suddenly had an +inspiration. Be it said to her credit that she hesitated a moment; but +the lecturer's next remark led to her own undoing. She was murmuring +something about feeling like a stranger, and wishing that she might know +the students informally and see a little of the real college life.</p> + +<p>"It would be a pity not to gratify her<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_248" id="Page_248">[248]</a></span> when I can do it so easily," +Patty told herself; and she added out loud, "I am sure we have time for +a little row, Miss Henderson. You walk on, and I will run back and get +my watch; it won't take a minute."</p> + +<p>"I wouldn't have you do that; it is too much trouble," remonstrated Miss +Henderson.</p> + +<p>"It's no trouble whatever," Patty protested kindly. "I can take a cross +cut, and meet you at the little summer-house where the boats are moored. +It's straight down this path; you can't miss it. Just follow that girl +over there"; and she darted away.</p> + +<p>The lecturer gazed dubiously after her a moment, and then started on +after the girl, who cast a look over her shoulder and quickened her +pace. It was growing quite dusky under the trees, and the lecturer +hurried on, trying to keep the girl in sight; but she unexpectedly +turned a corner and disappeared, and at the same moment two strange +girls suddenly<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_249" id="Page_249">[249]</a></span> dropped into the path, apparently from the tree-tops.</p> + +<p>"Good evening," they said pleasantly. "Are you taking a walk?"</p> + +<p>The lecturer started back with an exclamation of surprise; but as soon +as she could regain her composure, she replied politely that she was +strolling about and looking at the campus.</p> + +<p>"Perhaps you would like to stroll with us?" they inquired.</p> + +<p>"Thank you, you are very kind; but I have an engagement to row with one +of the students."</p> + +<p>Priscilla and Bonnie exchanged delighted glances. They had evidently +caught a resourceful young person.</p> + +<p>"Oh, no; it's too late for a row. You might get malaria," Priscilla +remonstrated. "Come and sit on the fence with us and admire the stars; +it's a lovely night."</p> + +<p>The lecturer cast an alarmed glance toward the fence, which appeared to +have an unusually narrow top rail. "You are<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_250" id="Page_250">[250]</a></span> very kind," she stammered, +"but I really can't stop. The girl will be waiting."</p> + +<p>"Who is the girl?" they inquired.</p> + +<p>"I don't know that I remember her name."</p> + +<p>"Mildred Connaught?" Bonnie suggested.</p> + +<p>"No; I don't think that is it, but I really can't say. I have only just +met her."</p> + +<p>Miss Henderson was growing more and more puzzled. In her day the +students had not been in the habit of way-laying strangers with +invitations to go walking and sit on fences.</p> + +<p>"Ah, <i>do</i> stay with us," Bonnie begged, laying a hand on her arm. "We're +lonely and want some one to talk to—we'll tell you a secret if you do."</p> + +<p>"I am sorry," Miss Henderson murmured confusedly, "but—"</p> + +<p>"We'll tell you the secret anyway," said Bonnie, generously, "and I'm +sure you'll be interested. The sophomores are going to have their tree +ceremonies to-night!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_251" id="Page_251">[251]</a></span></p> + +<p>"And you know," Priscilla broke in, "that the freshmen really ought to +attend them too—it doesn't matter if they aren't invited. But where do +you suppose the freshmen are to-night? They're attending a foolish +little lecture on the Roman Forum."</p> + +<p>"And though we don't wish to seem insistent," Bonnie added, "we should +really like to have your company until the lecture is over."</p> + +<p>"Until the lecture is over! But I am the lecturer," gasped Miss +Henderson.</p> + +<p>Bonnie grinned delightedly. "I am happy to meet you," she said, with a +bow. "And perhaps you do not recognize us. I am Mr. Sherlock Holmes, and +this is my friend Dr. Watson."</p> + +<p>Dr. Watson bowed, and remarked that it was an unexpected pleasure. He +had often heard of the famous lecturer, but had never hoped to meet her.</p> + +<p>Miss Henderson, who was not very conversant with recent literature, +looked more <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_252" id="Page_252">[252]</a></span>dazed than ever. It flashed across her mind that there was +an insane asylum in the neighborhood, and the thought was not +reassuring.</p> + +<p>"We'll not handcuff you," said Bonnie, magnanimously, "if you'll come +with us quietly."</p> + +<p>The lecturer, in spite of fervid protestations that she was a lecturer, +presently found herself sitting on the fence, with a girl on either side +grasping an elbow. A light was beginning to break upon her, together +with a poignant realization of the fact that she was seeing more of the +real college life than she cared for.</p> + +<p>"What time is it?" she asked anxiously.</p> + +<p>"Ten minutes past eight by my watch, but I think it's a little slow," +said Bonnie.</p> + +<p>"I am afraid you're going to be late for your lecture," said Priscilla. +"It seems a pity to waste it. Suppose you tell it to us instead."</p> + +<p>"Yes, do," urged Bonnie. "I just dote on the Roman Forum."</p> + +<p>The lecturer preserved a dignified silence, which was broken only by the +croaking of the frogs and the occasional<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_253" id="Page_253">[253]</a></span> remarks of the two detectives. +She had relinquished all hope of ever seeing the Archæological Society, +and had philosophically resigned herself to the prospect of sitting on +the fence all night, when suddenly there burst out from across the +campus a song of victory, mingled with cheers and inarticulate yells.</p> + +<p>At the first sound, Bonnie and Priscilla tumbled down from the fence, +bringing the lecturer with them, and, each grasping her by a hand, they +started to run. "Come on and see the fun," they laughed. "You're +perfectly welcome; it's no secret any more." And, in spite of breathless +protestations that she much preferred to walk, Miss Henderson found +herself dashing across the campus in the direction of the sounds.</p> + +<p>Heads suddenly appeared in the dormitory windows, doors banged, and +girls came running from every quarter with excited exclamations: "The +sophomores are having their tree ceremonies!" "Where are the freshmen?" +"Why didn't they get there?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_254" id="Page_254">[254]</a></span></p> + +<p>A crowd quickly gathered in the shadow of the trees and watched the +scene with laughing interest. A wide circle of colored lanterns swayed +in the breeze, and, within, a line of white-robed figures wound and +unwound about a tiny tree to the music of a solemn chant.</p> + +<p>"Isn't it pretty? Aren't you glad we brought you?" Bonnie demanded as +they pushed through the crowd.</p> + +<p>The lecturer did not answer, for she caught sight of the Latin professor +hurrying toward them.</p> + +<p>"Miss Henderson! I was afraid you were lost. It is nearly half-past +eight. The audience has been waiting, and we have been filling in the +time with reports."</p> + +<p>For a moment the lecturer was silent, being occupied with an amused +scrutiny of the faces of her captors; and then she rose to the occasion +like a lady and a scholar, and delivered a masterly apology, with never +a reference to her sojourn on the fence.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_255" id="Page_255">[255]</a></span></p> + +<p>Bonnie and Priscilla stared at each other without a word, and as Miss +Henderson was led away to the remnants of her audience Patty suddenly +appeared.</p> + +<p>"Good evening, Mr. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. Did you solve your +mystery?" she asked sweetly.</p> + +<p>Priscilla turned her to the light and scrutinized her face.</p> + +<p>Patty smiled back with wide-open, innocent eyes.</p> + +<p>Priscilla knew the expression, and she shook her. "You little wretch!" +she exclaimed.</p> + +<p>Patty squirmed out from under her grasp. "If you remember," she +murmured, "I once said that the Lick Observatory was in Dublin, Ireland. +It was a very funny mistake, of course, but I know of others that are +funnier."</p> + +<p>"What do you mean?" Bonnie demanded.</p> + +<p>"I mean," said Patty, "that I wish you never to mention the Lick +Observatory again."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_256" id="Page_256">[256]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_257" id="Page_257">[257]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_258" id="Page_258">[258]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_259" id="Page_259">[259]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>XV</h2> + +<h3>Patty and the Bishop</h3> + + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 151px;"> +<img src="images/t.png" width="151" height="150" alt="T" title="T" /> +</div> +<div class='unindent'><br /><br />HE dressing-bell rang for Sunday morning service, and Patty laid down +her book with a sigh and went and stood by the open window. The outside +world was a shimmering green and yellow, the trees showed a feathery +fringe against the sky, and the breeze was redolent of violets and fresh +earth.</div> + +<p>"Patty," called Priscilla, from her bedroom, "you'll have to hurry if +you want me to fasten your dress. I have to go to choir rehearsal."</p> + +<p>Patty turned back with another sigh, and began slowly unhooking her +collar. Then she sat down on the edge of the couch and stared absently +out of the window.</p> + +<p>A vigorous banging of bureau drawers<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_260" id="Page_260">[260]</a></span> in Priscilla's room was presently +followed by Priscilla herself in the doorway. She surveyed her room-mate +suspiciously. "Why aren't you dressing?" she demanded.</p> + +<p>"I'll fasten my own dress; you needn't wait," said Patty, without +removing her eyes from the window.</p> + +<p>"Bishop Copeley's going to preach to-day, and he's such an old dear; you +mustn't be late."</p> + +<p>Patty elevated her chin a trifle and shrugged her shoulders.</p> + +<p>"Aren't you going to chapel?"</p> + +<p>Patty brought her gaze back from the window and looked up at Priscilla +beseechingly. "It's such a lovely day," she pleaded, "and I'd so much +rather spend the time out of doors; I'm sure it would be a lot better +for my spiritual welfare."</p> + +<p>"It's not a question of spiritual welfare; it's a question of cuts. +You've already over-cut twice. What excuse do you intend to give when +the Self-Government<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_261" id="Page_261">[261]</a></span> Committee asks for an explanation?"</p> + +<p>"'Sufficient unto the day,'" laughed Patty. "When the time comes I'll +think of a beautiful new excuse that will charm the committee."</p> + +<p>"You ought to be ashamed to evade the rules the way you do."</p> + +<p>"Where is the fun of living if you are going to make yourself a slave to +all sorts of petty rules?" asked Patty, wearily.</p> + +<p>"I don't know why you have a right to live outside of rules any more +than the rest of us."</p> + +<p>Patty shrugged. "I take the right, and every one else can do the same."</p> + +<p>"Every one else can't," returned Priscilla, hotly, "for there wouldn't +be any law left in college if they did. I should a good deal rather play +out of doors myself than go to chapel, but I've used up all my cuts and +I can't. You couldn't either if you had a shred of proper feeling left. +The only way you can get out of it is by lying."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_262" id="Page_262">[262]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Priscilla dear," Patty murmured, "people in polite society don't put +things quite so baldly. If you would be respected in the best circles, +you must practise the art of equivocation."</p> + +<p>Priscilla frowned impatiently. "Are you coming, or are you not?" she +demanded.</p> + +<p>"I am not."</p> + +<p>Priscilla closed the door—not quite as softly as a door should be +closed—and Patty was left alone. She sat thinking a few minutes with +slightly flushed cheeks, and then as the chapel bell rang she shook +herself and laughed. Even had she wished to go it was too late now, and +all feeling of responsibility vanished. As soon as the decorous swish of +Sunday silks had ceased in the corridor outside, she caught up a book +and a cushion, and, creeping down by the side stairs, set gaily out +across the sunlit lawn, with the deliciously guilty thrill of a truant +little boy who has run away from school.</p> + +<p>From the open windows of the chapel<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_263" id="Page_263">[263]</a></span> she could hear the college +chanting: "Lord, have mercy upon us, and incline our hearts to keep this +law." She laughed happily to herself; she was not keeping laws to-day. +They might stay in there in the gloom, if they wanted to, with their +commandments and their litanies. She was worshiping under the blue sky, +to the jubilant chanting of the birds.</p> + +<p>She was the only person alive and out that morning, and the spring was +in her blood, and she felt as though she owned the world. The campus had +never seemed so radiant. She paused on the little rustic bridge to watch +the excited swirling of the brook, and she nearly lost her balance while +trying to launch a tiny boat made of a piece of bark. She dropped +pebbles into the pool in order to watch the startled frogs splash back +into the water, and she threw her cushion at a squirrel, and laughed +aloud at its angry chattering. She raced up the side of Pine Bluff, and +dropped down panting on the fragrant needles in the shadow of a tall +pine.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_264" id="Page_264">[264]</a></span></p> + +<p>Below her the ivy-covered buildings of the college lay clustered among +the trees; and in the Sunday quiet, with the sunlight shining on the +towers, it looked like some medieval village sleeping in the valley. +Patty gazed down dreamily with half-shut eyes, and imagined that +presently a band of troubadours and ladies would come riding out on +milk-white mules. But the sight of Peters, strolling to the gateway in +his Sunday clothes, spoiled the illusion, and she turned to her book +with a smile. Presently she closed it, however. This was not the time +for reading. One could read in winter and when it rained, and even in +the college library with every one else turning pages; but out here in +the open, with the real things of life happening all about, it was a +waste of opportunity.</p> + +<p>Her eyes wandered back to the campus again, and she suddenly grew sober +as the thought swept over her that in a few weeks more it would be hers +no longer. This happy, irresponsible community life, which had come to +be the only natural way of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_265" id="Page_265">[265]</a></span> living, was suddenly at an end. She +remembered the first day of being a freshman, when everything but +herself had looked so big, and she had thought desperately, "Four years +of this!" It had seemed like an eternity; and now that it was over it +seemed like a minute. She wanted to clutch the present and hold it fast. +It was a terrible thing—this growing old.</p> + +<p>And there were the girls. She would have to say good-by, with no opening +day in the fall—and Priscilla lived in California and Georgie in South +Dakota and Bonnie in Kentucky and she in New England, and they were the +only people in the world she particularly cared to talk to. She would +have to get acquainted with her mother's friends—with chronically +grown-up people, who talked about husbands and children and servants. +And there would be men. She had never had time to know many men; but +some day she would probably be marrying one of them, and then all +<i>would</i> be over; and before she had time to think, she would<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_266" id="Page_266">[266]</a></span> be an old +lady, telling her grandchildren stories about when she was a girl.</p> + +<div class="figright" style="width: 286px;"> +<img src="images/image_0284.jpg" width="286" height="400" alt="I have just run away from you, Bishop Copeley" title="I have just run away from you, Bishop Copeley" /> +<span class="caption">I have just run away from you, Bishop Copeley</span> +</div> + +<p>Patty gazed mournfully down on the campus, almost on the verge of tears +over her lost youth, when a step suddenly sounded on the gravel path, +and she looked up with a startled glance to see a churchly figure +rounding the hill. Involuntarily she prepared for flight; but the bishop +had spied her, together with a little rustic seat under a tree, and he +smiled upon the one and dropped down upon the other with a sigh of +content.</p> + +<p>"A beautiful view," he gasped; "but a very steep hill."</p> + +<p>"It is steep," Patty agreed politely; and as there seemed to be no +chance of escape, she resumed her seat and added, with a laugh: "I have +just run away from you, Bishop Copeley, and here you come following +along behind like an accusing conscience."</p> + +<p>The bishop chuckled. "I've run away myself," he returned; "I knew I +should have to be introduced to a hundred or so<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_267" id="Page_267">[267]</a></span> of you after service, +so I just slipped out the back way for a quiet stroll."</p> + +<p>Patty eyed him appreciatively, with a new sense of fellow-feeling.</p> + +<p>"I should like to have run away from church as well," he confessed, with +a twinkle in his eye. "Out of doors is the best church on a day like +this."</p> + +<p>"That's what I think," said Patty, cordially; "but I had no idea that +bishops were so sensible."</p> + +<p>They chatted along in a friendly manner on various subjects, and +exchanged lay opinions on the college and the clergy.</p> + +<p>"It's a funny thing about this place," said Patty, ruminatingly, "that, +though we have a different preacher every Sunday, we always have the +same sermon."</p> + +<p>"The same sermon?" inquired the bishop, somewhat aghast.</p> + +<p>"Practically the same," said Patty. "I've heard it for four years, and I +think I could almost preach it myself. They all seem to think, you know, +that because we come to college we must be monsters<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_268" id="Page_268">[268]</a></span> of reason, and they +urge us to remember that reason and science are not the only things that +count in the world—that feeling is, after all, the main factor; and +they quote a little poem about the flower being beautiful, I know not +why. That wasn't what yours was about?" she asked anxiously.</p> + +<p>"Not this time," said the bishop; "I preached an old one."</p> + +<p>"It's the best way," said Patty. "We're human beings, if we do come to +college. I remember once we had a man from Yale or Harvard or some such +place, and he preached an old sermon: he urged us to become more manly. +It was very refreshing."</p> + +<p>The bishop smiled. "Do you run away from church very often?" he inquired +mildly.</p> + +<p>"No; I don't have a chance when I room with Priscilla. But obligatory +chapel makes you want to run away," she added. "It's not the chapel I +object to; it's the obligatoriness."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_269" id="Page_269">[269]</a></span></p> + +<p>"But you have a system of—er—cuts," he suggested.</p> + +<p>"Three a month," said Patty, sadly. "Evening chapel counts as one, but +Sunday morning church as two."</p> + +<p>"So you expended two cuts to escape me?" he asked with a smile.</p> + +<p>"Oh, it wasn't you," Patty remonstrated hastily. "It was just—the +obligatoriness. And besides," she added frankly, "my legitimate cuts +were used up days ago, and when I once begin over-cutting, I am +reckless."</p> + +<p>"And may I ask what happens when you over-cut?" the bishop inquired.</p> + +<p>"Well," said Patty, "there are proctors, you know, that mark you when +you are absent; and then, if they find that you've over-cut, the +Self-Government Committee calls you up and asks the reason. If you can't +produce a good excuse you are deprived of your privileges for a month, +and you can't be on committees or in plays or get leave of absence to go +out of town."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_270" id="Page_270">[270]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I see," said the bishop; "and will you have to suffer all of those +penalties?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, no," said Patty, comfortably; "I shall produce a good excuse."</p> + +<p>"What will you say?" he inquired.</p> + +<p>"I don't know, exactly; I shall have to depend on the inspiration of the +moment."</p> + +<p>The bishop regarded her quizzically. "Do you mean," he asked, "that, +having broken the rule, you intend to evade the penalty by—to put it +flatly—a falsehood?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, no, bishop," said Patty, in a shocked tone. "Of course I shall tell +the truth, only"—she looked up in the bishop's face with an +irresistible smile—"the committee probably won't understand it."</p> + +<p>For an instant the bishop's face relaxed, and then he grew grave again. +"By a subterfuge?" he asked.</p> + +<p>"Y-yes," acknowledged Patty; "I suppose you <i>might</i> call it a +subterfuge. I dare say I am pretty bad," she added, "but you have to +have a reputation for something<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_271" id="Page_271">[271]</a></span> in a place like this or you get +overlooked. I can't compete in goodness or in athletics or in anything +like that, so there's nothing left for me but to surpass in badness—I +have quite a gift for it."</p> + +<p>The corners of the bishop's mouth twitched. "You don't look like one +with a criminal record."</p> + +<p>"I'm young yet," said Patty. "It hasn't commenced to show."</p> + +<p>"My dear little girl," said the bishop, "I have already preached one +sermon to-day, which you didn't come to hear, and I can't undertake to +preach another for your benefit,"—Patty looked relieved,—"but there is +one question I should like to ask you. In after years, when you are +through college and the question is asked of some of your class-mates, +'Did you know—' You have not told me your name."</p> + +<p>"Patty Wyatt."</p> + +<p>"'Did you know Patty Wyatt, and what sort of a girl was she?' will the +answer be what you would wish?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_272" id="Page_272">[272]</a></span></p> + +<p>Patty considered. "Ye-yes; I think, on the whole, they'd stand by me."</p> + +<p>"This morning," the bishop continued placidly, "I asked a professor in +an entirely casual way about a young woman—a class-mate of your +own—who is the daughter of an old friend of mine. The answer was +immediate and unhesitating, and you can imagine how much it gratified +me. 'There is not a finer girl in college,' he replied. 'She is honest +in work and honest in play, and thoroughly conscientious in everything +she does.'"</p> + +<p>"Um-m," said Patty; "that must have been Priscilla."</p> + +<p>"No," smiled the bishop, "it was not Priscilla. The young woman of whom +I am speaking is the president of your Student Association, Catherine +Fair."</p> + +<p>"Yes, it's true," said Patty, critically. "Cathy Fair hits straight from +the shoulder."</p> + +<p>"And wouldn't you like to go out with that reputation?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_273" id="Page_273">[273]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I'm really not <i>very</i> bad," pleaded Patty, "that is, as badness goes. +But I couldn't be as good as Cathy; it would be going against nature."</p> + +<p>"I am afraid," suggested the bishop, "that you do not try very hard. You +may not think that it matters what people think now that you are young, +but how will it be when you grow older? And it will not be long," he +added. "Age slips upon you before you realize it."</p> + +<p>Patty looked sober.</p> + +<p>"You will soon be thirty, and then forty, and then fifty."</p> + +<p>Patty sighed.</p> + +<p>"And do you think that a woman of that age is attractive if she deals in +subterfuges and evasions?"</p> + +<p>Patty squirmed a trifle, and dug a little hole in the pine-needles with +her toe.</p> + +<p>"You must remember that you cannot form your character in a moment, my +dear. Character is a plant of slow growth, and the seeds must be planted +early."</p> + +<p>The bishop rose, and Patty scrambled to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_274" id="Page_274">[274]</a></span> her feet with a look of relief. +He took the pillow and the book under his arm, and they started down the +hill. "I have preached you a sermon, after all," he said apologetically; +"but preaching is my trade, and you must forgive an old man for being +prosy."</p> + +<p>Patty held out her hand with a smile as they stopped before the door of +Phillips Hall. "Good-by, bishop," she said, "and thank you for the +sermon; I guess I needed it—I <i>am</i> getting old."</p> + +<p>She climbed the stairs slowly, and, hesitating a moment outside her own +room, where the sound of laughing voices through the transom betokened +that the clan was gathered, she kept on to the door of a single at the +end of the corridor.</p> + +<p>"Come in," a voice called in response to her knock.</p> + +<p>Patty turned the knob and stuck her head in. "Hello, Cathy! Are you +busy?"</p> + +<p>"Of course not. Come in and talk to me."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_275" id="Page_275">[275]</a></span></p> + +<p>Patty shut the door and leaned with her back against it. "This isn't a +social call," she announced impressively. "I've come to see you +officially."</p> + +<p>"Officially?"</p> + +<p>"You're president of students, I believe?"</p> + +<p>"I believe I am," sighed Cathy; "and if the President of the United +States has half as much trouble with his subjects as I have with mine, +he has my sincerest sympathy."</p> + +<p>"I suppose we are a great deal of trouble," said Patty, contritely.</p> + +<p>"Trouble! My dear," said Cathy, solemnly. "I've spent the entire week +running around to the different cottages making speeches to those +blessed freshmen. They <i>won't</i> hand in chapel excuses, and they <i>will</i> +run off with library books, and, altogether, they're an immoral lot."</p> + +<p>"They can afford to be; they're young," sighed Patty, enviously. "But +I," she added, "am getting old, and it's time I was getting good. I've +called to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_276" id="Page_276">[276]</a></span> tell you that I've over-cut four times, and I haven't any +excuse."</p> + +<p>"What are you talking about?" asked Cathy, in amazement.</p> + +<p>"Chapel excuses. I've over-cut four times,—I think it's four, though +I've rather lost count,—and I haven't any excuse."</p> + +<p>"But, Patty, don't tell me that. You must have some excuse, some reason +for—"</p> + +<p>"Not the shadow of one. Just stayed away because I didn't feel like +going."</p> + +<p>"But you must give me <i>some</i> reason," remonstrated Cathy, in distress, +"or I'll have to report it to the committee and you'll be deprived of +your privileges. You can't afford that, you know, for you're chairman of +the Senior Prom."</p> + +<p>"But I didn't have any excuse, and I can't make one up," said Patty. "I +will soon be thirty, and then forty, and then fifty. Do you think a +woman of that age is attractive if she deals in subterfuges and +evasions? Character," she added solemnly,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_277" id="Page_277">[277]</a></span> "is a plant of slow growth, +and the seeds must be planted early."</p> + +<p>Cathy looked puzzled. "I don't know what you're talking about," she +said, "but I suppose you do. Anyway," she added, "I'm sorry about the +chairmanship; but I'm—well, I'm sort of glad, too." She laid a hand on +Patty's shoulder. "Of course I've always liked you, Patty,—everybody +does,—but I don't believe I've ever appreciated you, and I'm glad to +find it out before we leave college."</p> + +<p>Patty's face flushed a trifle and she drew away half sheepishly. "You'd +best postpone your felicitations until to-morrow," she laughed, "for I +may think of some good excuse in the night. Good-by."</p> + +<p>She was greeted in the study with a cry of welcome.</p> + +<p>"Well, Patty," said Priscilla, "I hear you've been taking a walk with +the bishop. Did you tell him you'd cut chapel?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_278" id="Page_278">[278]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I did; and he said he wished he might have cut, too."</p> + +<p>"She's incorrigible," sighed Georgie; "she's even been corrupting the +bishop."</p> + +<p>"You'd better be careful, Patty Wyatt," warned Bonnie Connaught. +"Self-Government will get you if you don't watch out, and <i>then</i> you'll +be sorry when they take you off the Senior Prom."</p> + +<p>Patty sobered for a moment, but she hastily assumed a nonchalant air. +"They have got me," she laughed, "and I'm already off—or, at least, I +shall be as soon as they have a meeting."</p> + +<p>"Patty!" cried the room, in a horrified chorus. "What do you mean?"</p> + +<p>Patty shrugged. "Just what I say: deprived of my privileges for cutting +chapel."</p> + +<p>"It's a shame!" said Georgie, indignantly. "That Self-Government +Committee is going a little too far when it takes a senior's privileges +away without even hearing her case." She grasped Patty by the arm and +started toward the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_279" id="Page_279">[279]</a></span> door. "Come on and tell Cathy Fair about it. She +will fix it all right."</p> + +<p>Patty hung back and disengaged her wrist from Georgie's grasp. "Let me +alone," she said sulkily. "There's nothing to be done. I told her myself +I hadn't any excuse."</p> + +<p>"You told her?" Georgie stared her incredulity, and Bonnie Connaught +laughed.</p> + +<p>"Patty reminds me of the burglar who crawled out the back window with +the silver, and then rang the front door-bell and handed it back."</p> + +<p>"What's the matter, Patty?" Priscilla asked solicitously. "Don't you +feel well?"</p> + +<p>Patty sighed. "I'm getting old," she said.</p> + +<p>"You're getting what?"</p> + +<p>"Old. Soon I'll be thirty, and then forty, and then fifty; and do you +think any one will love me then if I deal in subterfuges and evasions? +Character, my dear girls, is a plant of slow growth, and the seeds must +be planted early."</p> + +<p>"You went and told the committee voluntarily,—of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_280" id="Page_280">[280]</a></span> your own +accord,—without even waiting to be called up?" Georgie persisted, +determined to get at the facts of the case.</p> + +<p>"I'm getting old," repeated Patty. "It's time I was getting good. As I +said before, character is a plant—"</p> + +<p>Georgie looked at the others and shook her head in bewilderment, and +Bonnie Connaught laughed and murmured to the room in general: "When +Patty gets to heaven I'm afraid the Recording Angel will have some +trouble in balancing his books."</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<div class='tnote'><h3>Transcriber's Notes</h3> + +<p>Obvious punctuation errors repaired.</p> + + +<p>The original text had each Chapter number and title twice. The first of +these was deleted to aid in ease of reading.</p> + +<p><a href='#no'>Page 198</a>, the text that begins "Ireland's eminent astronomer spending" +ends without punctuation to indicate that the reader broke off suddenly. +This was retained.</p></div> + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's When Patty Went to College, by Jean Webster + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHEN PATTY WENT TO COLLEGE *** + +***** This file should be named 21639-h.htm or 21639-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/1/6/3/21639/ + +Produced by Bruce Albrecht, Emmy and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: When Patty Went to College + +Author: Jean Webster + +Illustrator: C. D. Williams + +Release Date: May 29, 2007 [EBook #21639] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHEN PATTY WENT TO COLLEGE *** + + + + +Produced by Bruce Albrecht, Emmy and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + +[Illustration: Patty] + + +When Patty Went to College + +By + +Jean Webster + + With Illustrations + by C. D. Williams + +[Illustration] + + New York + The Century Co. + 1903 + + Copyright, 1903, by + THE CENTURY CO. + + Copyright, 1901, 1902, by TRUTH CO. + + * * * * * + + _Published March, 1903_ + + * * * * * + + THE DEVINNE PRESS + + TO + 234 MAIN AND THE GOOD + TIMES WE HAVE HAD THERE + + + + +Contents + + + PAGE + I PETERS THE SUSCEPTIBLE 1 + II AN EARLY FRIGHT 21 + III THE IMPRESSIONABLE MR. TODHUNTER 39 + IV A QUESTION OF ETHICS 57 + V THE ELUSIVE KATE FERRIS 73 + VI A STORY WITH FOUR SEQUELS 89 + VII IN PURSUIT OF OLD ENGLISH 103 + VIII THE DECEASED ROBERT 121 + IX PATTY THE COMFORTER 133 + X "PER L'ITALIA" 147 + XI "LOCAL COLOR" 177 + XII THE EXIGENCIES OF ETIQUETTE 203 + XIII A CRASH WITHOUT 215 + XIV THE MYSTERY OF THE SHADOWED SOPHOMORE 237 + XV PATTY AND THE BISHOP 257 + + + + +List of Illustrations + + + FACING PAGE + + Patty _Frontispiece_ + + Men know such a lot about such things! 18 + + Mr. Algernon Vivian Todhunter, gingerly sitting on the + edge of a chair 54 + + What's the matter, Patty? 110 + + Olivia Copeland 172 + + I have just run away from you, Bishop Copeley 266 + + + + +I + +Peters the Susceptible + + +"Paper-weights," observed Patty, sucking an injured thumb, "were +evidently not made for driving in tacks. I wish I had a hammer." + +This remark called forth no response, and Patty peered down from the top +of the step-ladder at her room-mate, who was sitting on the floor +dragging sofa-pillows and curtains from a dry-goods box. + +"Priscilla," she begged, "you aren't doing anything useful. Go down and +ask Peters for a hammer." + +Priscilla rose reluctantly. "I dare say fifty girls have already been +after a hammer." + +"Oh, he has a private one in his back pocket. Borrow that. And, +Pris,"--Patty called after her over the transom,--"just tell him to +send up a man to take that closet door off its hinges." + +Patty, in the interval, sat down on the top step and surveyed the chaos +beneath her. An Oriental rush chair, very much out at the elbows, +several miscellaneous chairs, two desks, a divan, a table, and two +dry-goods boxes radiated from the center of the room. The floor, as it +showed through the interstices, was covered with a grass-green carpet, +while the curtains and hangings were of a not very subdued crimson. + +"One would scarcely," Patty remarked to the furniture in general, "call +it a symphony in color." + +A knock sounded on the door. + +"Come in," she called. + +A girl in a blue linen sailor-suit reaching to her ankles, and with a +braid of hair hanging down her back, appeared in the doorway. Patty +examined her in silence. The girl's eyes traveled around the room in +some surprise, and finally reached the top of the ladder. + +"I--I'm a freshman," she began. + +"My dear," murmured Patty, in a deprecatory tone, "I should have taken +you for a senior; but"--with a wave of her hand toward the nearest +dry-goods box--"come in and sit down. I need your advice. Now, there are +shades of green," she went on, as if continuing a conversation, "which +are not so bad with red; but I ask you frankly if _that_ shade of green +would go with anything?" + +The freshman looked at Patty, and looked at the carpet, and smiled +dubiously. "No," she admitted; "I don't believe it would." + +"I knew you would say that!" exclaimed Patty, in a tone of relief. "Now +what would you advise us to do with the carpet?" + +The freshman looked blank. "I--I don't know, unless you take it up," she +stammered. + +"The very thing!" said Patty. "I wonder we hadn't thought of it before." + +Priscilla reappeared at this point with the announcement, "Peters is +the most suspicious man I ever knew!" But she stopped uncertainly as she +caught sight of the freshman. + +"Priscilla," said Patty, severely, "I _hope_ you didn't divulge the fact +that we are hanging the walls with tapestry"--this with a wave of her +hand toward the printed cotton cloth dangling from the molding. + +"I tried not to," said Priscilla, guiltily, "but he read 'tapestry' in +my eyes. He had no sooner looked at me than he said, 'See here, miss; +you know it's against the rules to hang curtains on the walls, and you +mustn't put nails in the plastering, and I don't believe you need a +hammer anyway.'" + +"Disgusting creature!" said Patty. + +"But," continued Priscilla, hastily, "I stopped and borrowed Georgie +Merriles's hammer on my way back. Oh, I forgot," she added; "he says we +can't take the closet door off its hinges--that as soon as we get ours +off five hundred other young ladies will be wanting theirs off, and +that it would take half a dozen men all summer to put them back again." + +A portentous frown was gathering on Patty's brow, and the freshman, +wishing to avert a possible domestic tragedy, inquired timidly, "Who is +Peters?" + +"Peters," said Priscilla, "is a short, bow-legged gentleman with a red +Vandyke beard, whose technical title is janitor, but who is really +dictator. Every one is afraid of him--even Prexy." + +"I'm not," said Patty; "and," she added firmly, "that door is coming +down whether he says so or not, so I suppose we shall have to do it +ourselves." Her eyes wandered back to the carpet and her face +brightened. "Oh, Pris, we've got a beautiful new scheme. My friend here +says she doesn't like the carpet at all, and suggests that we take it +up, get some black paint, and put it on the floor ourselves. I agree," +she added, "that a Flemish oak floor covered with rugs would be a great +improvement." + +Priscilla glanced uncertainly from the freshman to the floor. "Do you +think they'd let us do it?" + +"It would never do to ask them," said Patty. + +The freshman rose uneasily. "I came," she said hesitatingly, "to find +out--that is, I understand that the girls rent their old books, and I +thought, if you wouldn't mind--" + +"Mind!" said Patty, reassuringly. "We'd rent our souls for fifty cents a +semester." + +"It--it was a Latin dictionary I wanted," said the freshman, "and the +girls next door said perhaps you had one." + +"A beautiful one," said Patty. + +"No," interrupted Priscilla; "hers is lost from O to R, and it's all +torn; but mine,"--she dived down into one of the boxes and hauled out a +chunky volume without any covers,--"while it is not so beautiful as it +was once, it is still as useful." + +"Mine's annotated," said Patty, "and illustrated. I'll show you what a +superior book it is," and she began descending the ladder; but +Priscilla charged upon her and she retreated to the top again. "Why," +she wailed to the terrified freshman, "did you not say you wanted a +dictionary before she came back? Let me give you some advice at the +beginning of your college career," she added warningly. "Never choose a +room-mate bigger than yourself. They're dangerous." + +The freshman was backing precipitously toward the door, when it opened +and revealed an attractive-looking girl with fluffy reddish hair. + +"Pris, you wretch, you walked off with my hammer!" + +"Oh, Georgie, we need it worse than you do! Come in and help tack." + +"Hello, Georgie," called Patty, from the ladder. "Isn't this room going +to be beautiful when it's finished?" + +Georgie looked about. "You are more sanguine than I should be," she +laughed. + +"You can't tell yet," Patty returned. "We're going to cover the +wall-paper with this red stuff, and paint the floor black, and have dark +furniture, and red hangings, and soft lights. It will look just like the +Oriental Room in the Waldorf." + +"How in the world," Georgie demanded, "do you ever make them let you do +all these things? I stuck in three innocent little thumb-tacks to-day, +and Peters descended upon me bristling with wrath, and said he'd report +me if I didn't pull them out." + +"We never ask," explained Patty. "It's the only way." + +"You've got enough to do if you expect to get settled by Monday," +Georgie remarked. + +"_C'est vrai_," agreed Patty, descending the ladder with a sudden access +of energy; "and you've got to stay and help us. We have to get all this +furniture moved into the bedrooms and the carpet up before we even +_begin_ to paint." She regarded the freshman tentatively. "Are you +awfully busy?" + +"Not very. My room-mate hasn't come yet, so I can't settle." + +"That's nice; then you can help us move furniture." + +"Patty!" said Priscilla, "I think you are too bad." + +"I should really love to stay and help, if you'll let me." + +"Certainly," said Patty, obligingly. "I forgot to ask your name," she +continued, "and I don't suppose you like to be called 'Freshman'; it's +not specific enough." + +"My name is Genevieve Ainslee Randolph." + +"Genevieve Ains--dear me! I can't remember anything like that. Do you +mind if I call you Lady Clara Vere de Vere for short?" + +The freshman looked doubtful, and Patty proceeded: "Lady Clara, allow me +to present my room-mate Miss Priscilla Pond--no relation to the extract. +She's athletic and wins hundred-yard dashes and hurdle races, and gets +her name in the paper to a really gratifying extent. And my dear friend +Miss Georgie Merriles, one of the oldest families in Dakota. Miss +Merriles is very talented--sings in the glee club, plays on the comb--" + +"And," interrupted Georgie, "let me present Miss Patty Wyatt, who--" + +"Has no specialty," said Patty, modestly, "but is merely good and +beautiful and bright." + +A knock sounded on the door, which opened without waiting for a +response. "Miss Theodora Bartlet," continued Patty, "commonly known as +the Twin, Miss Vere de Vere." + +The Twin looked dazed, murmured, "Miss Vere de Vere," and dropped down +on a dry-goods box. + +"The term 'Twin,'" explained Patty, "is used in a merely allegorical +sense. There is really only one of her. The title was conferred in her +freshman year, and the reason has been lost in the dim dawn of +antiquity." + +The freshman looked at the Twin and opened her mouth, but shut it again +without saying anything. + +"My favorite maxim," said Patty, "has always been, 'Silence is golden.' +I observe that we are kindred spirits." + +"Patty," said Priscilla, "do stop bothering that poor child and get to +work." + +"Bothering?" said Patty. "I am not bothering her; we are just getting +acquainted. However, I dare say it is not the time for hollow +civilities. Do you want to borrow anything?" she added, turning to the +Twin, "or did you just drop in to pay a social call?" + +"Just a social call; but I think I'll come in again when there's no +furniture to move." + +"You don't happen to be going into town this afternoon?" + +"Yes," said the Twin. "But," she added guardedly, "if it's a +curtain-pole, I refuse to bring it out. I offered to bring one out for +Lucille Carter last night, because she was in a hurry to give a +house-warming, and I speared the conductor with it getting into the car; +and while I was apologizing to him I knocked Mrs. Prexy's hat off with +the other end." + +"We have all the curtain-poles we need," said Patty. "It's just some +paint--five cans of black paint, and three brushes at the ten-cent +store, and thank you very much. Good-by. Now," she continued, "the first +thing is to get that door down, and I will wrest a screw-driver from the +unwilling Peters while you remove tacks from the carpet." + +"He won't give you one," said Priscilla. + +"You'll see," said Patty. + +Five minutes later she returned waving above her head an unmistakable +screw-driver. "_Voila, mes amies!_ Peters's own private screw-driver, +for which I am to be personally responsible." + +"How did you get it?" inquired Priscilla, suspiciously. + +"You act," said Patty, "as if you thought I knocked him down in some +dark corner and robbed him. I merely asked him for it politely, and he +asked me what I wanted to do with it. I told him I wanted to take out +screws, and the reason impressed him so that he handed it over without +a word. Peters," she added, "is a dear; only he's like every other +man--you have to use diplomacy." + +By ten o'clock that night the study carpet of 399 was neatly folded and +deposited at the end of the corridor above, whence its origin would be +difficult to trace. The entire region was steeped in an odor of +turpentine, and the study floor of 399 was a shining black, except for +four or five unpainted spots which Patty designated as "stepping-stones," +and which were to be treated later. Every caller that had dropped in +during the afternoon or evening had had a brush thrust into her hand and +had been made to go down upon her knees and paint. Besides the floor, +three bookcases and a chair had been transferred from mahogany to +Flemish oak, and there was still half a can of paint left which Patty +was anxiously trying to dispose of. + +The next morning, in spite of the difficulty of getting about, the +step-ladder had been reerected, and the business of tapestry-hanging +was going forward with enthusiasm, when a knock suddenly interrupted the +work. + +Patty, all unconscious of impending doom, cheerily called, "Come in!" + +The door opened, and the figure of Peters appeared on the threshold; and +Priscilla basely fled, leaving her room-mate stranded on the ladder. + +"Are you the young lady who borrowed my screw--" Peters stopped and +looked at the floor, and his jaw dropped in astonishment. "Where is that +there carpet?" he demanded, in a tone which seemed to imply that he +thought it was under the paint. + +"It's out in the hall," said Patty, pleasantly. "Please be careful and +don't step on the paint. It's a great improvement, don't you think?" + +"You oughter got permission--" he began, but his eye fell on the +tapestry and he stopped again. + +"Yes," said Patty; "but we knew you couldn't spare a man just now to +paint it for us, so we didn't like to trouble you." + +"It's against the rules to hang curtains on the walls." + +"I have heard that it was," said Patty, affably, "and I think ordinarily +it's a very good rule. But just look at the color of that wall-paper. +It's pea-green. You have had enough experience with wall-paper, Mr. +Peters, to know that _that_ is impossible, especially when our +window-curtains and portieres are red." + +Peters's eyes had traveled to the closet, bereft of its door. "Are you +the young lady," he demanded gruffly, "who asked me to have that door +taken off its hinges?" + +"No," said Patty; "I think that must have been my room-mate. It was +_very_ heavy," she continued plaintively, "and we had a great deal of +trouble getting it down, but of course we realized that you were awfully +busy, and that it really wasn't your fault. That's what I wanted the +screw-driver for," she added. "I'm sorry that I didn't get it back last +night, but I was very tired, and I forgot." + +[Illustration: Men know such a lot about such things!] + +Peters merely grunted. He was examining a corner cabinet hanging on the +wall. "Didn't you know," he asked severely, "that it's against the rules +to put nails in the plaster?" + +"Those aren't nails," expostulated Patty. "They're hooks. I remembered +that you didn't like holes, so I only put in two, though I am really +afraid that three are necessary. What do you think, Mr. Peters? Does it +seem solid?" + +Peters shook it. "It's solid enough," he said sulkily. As he turned, his +eye fell on the table in Priscilla's bedroom. "Is that a gas-stove in +there?" he demanded. + +Patty shrugged her shoulders. "An apology for one--be _careful_, Mr. +Peters! _Don't_ get against that bookcase. It's just painted." + +Peters jumped aside, and stood like the Colossus of Rhodes, with one +foot on one stepping-stone, and the other on another three feet away. It +is hard for even a janitor to be dignified in such a position, and +while he was gathering his scattered impressions Patty looked longingly +around the room for some one to enjoy the spectacle with her. She felt +that the silence was becoming ominous, however, and she hastened to +interrupt it. + +"There's something wrong with that stove; it won't burn a bit. I am +afraid we didn't put it together just right. I shouldn't be surprised if +_you_ might be able to tell what's the matter with it, Mr. Peters." She +smiled sweetly. "Men know such a lot about such things! Would you mind +looking at it?" + +Peters grunted again; but he approached the stove. + +Five minutes later, when Priscilla stuck her head in to find out if, by +chance, anything remained of Patty, she saw Peters on his knees on the +floor of her bedroom, with the dismembered stove scattered about him, +and heard him saying, "I don't know as I have any call to report you, +for I s'pose, since they're up, they might as well stay"; and Patty's +voice returning: "You're _very_ kind, Mr. Peters. Of course if we'd +_known_--" Priscilla shut the door softly, and retired around the corner +to await Peters's departure. + +"How in the world did you manage him?" she asked, bursting in as soon as +the sound of his footsteps had died away down the corridor. "I expected +to sing a requiem over your remains, and I found Peters on his knees, +engaged in amicable conversation." + +Patty smiled inscrutably. "You must remember," she said, "that Peters is +not only a janitor: he is also a man." + + + + +II + +An Early Fright + + +"I'll make the tea to-day," said Patty, graciously. + +"As you please," said Priscilla, with a skeptical shrug. + +Patty bustled about amid a rattle of china. "The cups are rather dusty," +she observed dubiously. + +"You'd better wash them," Priscilla returned. + +"No," said Patty; "it's too much trouble. Just close the blinds, please, +and we'll light the candles, and that will do as well. Come in," she +called in answer to a knock. + +Georgie Merriles, Lucille Carter, and the Bartlet Twin appeared in the +doorway. + +"Did I hear the two P's were going to serve tea this afternoon?" +inquired the Twin. + +"Yes; come in. I'm going to make it myself," answered Patty, "and you'll +see how much more attentive a hostess I am than Priscilla. Here, Twin," +she added, "you take the kettle out and fill it with water; and, +Lucille, please go and borrow some alcohol from the freshmen at the end +of the corridor; our bottle's empty. I'd do it myself, only I've +borrowed such a lot lately, and they don't know you, you see. And--oh, +Georgie, you're an obliging dear; just run down-stairs to the store and +get some sugar. I think I saw some money in that silver inkstand on +Priscilla's desk." + +"We've got some sugar," objected Priscilla. "I bought a whole pound +yesterday." + +"No, my lamb; we haven't got it any more. I lent it to Bonnie Connaught +last night. Just hunt around for the spoons," she added. "I think I saw +them on the bottom shelf of the bookcase, behind Kipling." + +"And what, may I ask, are _you_ going to do?" inquired Priscilla. + +"I?" said Patty. "Oh, I am going to sit in the arm-chair and preside." + +Ten minutes later, the company being disposed about the room on +cushions, and the party well under way, it was discovered that there +were no lemons. + +"Are you sure?" asked Patty, anxiously. + +"Not one," said Priscilla, peering into the stein where the lemons were +kept. + +"I," said Georgie, "refuse to go to the store again." + +"No matter," said Patty, graciously; "we can do very well without them." +(She did not take lemon herself.) "The object of tea is not for the sake +of the tea, but for the conversation which accompanies it, and one must +not let accidents annoy him. You see, young ladies," she went on, in the +tone of an instructor giving a lecture, "though I have just spilled the +alcohol over the sugar, I appear not to notice it, but keep up an easy +flow of conversation to divert my guests. A repose of manner is above +all things to be cultivated." Patty leaned languidly back in her chair. +"To-morrow is Founder's Day," she resumed in a conversational tone. "I +wonder if many--" + +"That reminds me," interrupted the Twin. "You girls needn't save any +dances for my brother. I got a letter from him this morning saying he +couldn't come." + +"He hasn't broken anything, has he?" Patty asked sympathetically. + +"Broken anything?" + +"Ah--an arm, or a leg, or a neck. Accidents are so prevalent about +Founder's time." + +"No; he was called out of town on important business." + +"Important business!" Patty laughed. "Dear man! why couldn't he have +thought of something new?" + +"I think myself it was just an excuse," the Twin acknowledged. "He +seemed to have an idea that he would be the only man here, and that, +alone and unaided, he would have to dance with all six hundred girls." + +Patty shook her head sadly. "They're all alike. Founder's wouldn't be +Founder's if half the guests didn't develop serious illness or important +business or dead relations the last minute. The only safe way is to +invite three men and make out one program." + +"I simply can't realize that to-morrow is Founder's," said Priscilla. +"It doesn't seem a week since we unpacked our trunks after vacation, and +before we know it we shall be packing them again for Christmas." + +"Yes; and before we know it we'll be unpacking them again, with +examinations three weeks ahead," said Georgie the pessimist. + +"Oh, for the matter of that," returned Patty the optimist, "before we +know it we'll be walking up one side of the platform for our diplomas +and coming down the other side blooming alumnae." + +"And then," sighed Georgie, "before we even have time to decide on a +career, we'll be old ladies, telling our grandchildren to stand up +straight and remember their rubbers." + +"And," said Priscilla, "before any of us get any tea we'll be in our +graves, if you don't stop talking and watch that kettle." + +"It's boiling," said Patty. + +"Yes," said Priscilla; "it's been boiling for ten minutes." + +"It's hot," said Patty. + +"I should think it might be," said Priscilla. + +"And now the problem is, how to get it off without burning one's self." + +"You're presiding to-day; you must solve your own problems." + +"'Tis an easy matter," and Patty hooked it off on the end of a +golf-club. "Young ladies," she said, with a wave of the kettle, "there +is nothing like a college education to teach you a way out of every +difficulty. If, when you are out in the wide, wide world--" + + "Where, oh, where are the grave old seniors?" + +chanted the Twin. + + "Where, oh, where are they?" + +The rest took it up, and Patty waited patiently. + + "They've gone out of Cairnsley's ethics, + They've gone out of Cairnsley's ethics, + They've gone out of Cairnsley's ethics, + Into the wide, wide w-o-r-l-d." + +"If you have finished your ovation, young ladies, I will proceed with my +lecture. When, as I say, you are out in the wide, wide world, making +five-o'clock tea some afternoon for one of the young men popularly +supposed to be there, who have dropped in to make an afternoon call--Do +you follow me, young ladies, or do I speak too fast? If, while you are +engaged in conversation, the kettle should become too hot, do not put +your finger in your mouth and shriek 'Ouch!' and coquettishly say to the +young man, '_You_ take it off,' as might a young woman who has not +enjoyed your advantages; but, rather, rise to the emergency; say to him +calmly, 'This kettle has become over-heated; may I trouble you to go +into the hall and bring an umbrella?' and when he returns you can hook +it off gracefully and expeditiously as you have seen me do, young +ladies, and the young--" + +"Patty, take care!" This from Priscilla. + +"O-u-c-h!" in a long-drawn wail. This from Georgie. + +Patty hastily set the kettle down on the floor. "I'm awfully sorry, +Georgie. Does it hurt?" + +"Not in the least. It's really a pleasant sensation to have boiling +water poured over you." + +The Bartlet Twin sniffed. "I smell burning rug." + +Patty groaned. "I resign, Pris; I resign. Here, you preside. I'll never +ask to make it again." + +"I should like," observed the Twin, "to see Patty entertaining a young +man." + +"It's not such an unprecedented event," said Patty, with some warmth. +"You can watch me to-morrow night if it will give you so much +pleasure." + +"To-morrow night? Are you going to have a man for the Prom?" + +"That," said Patty, "is my intention." + +"And you haven't asked me for a dance!" This in an aggrieved chorus from +the entire room. + +"I haven't asked any one," said Patty, with dignity. + +"Do you mean you're going to have all of the twenty dances with him +yourself?" + +"Oh, no; I don't expect to dance more than ten with him myself--I +haven't made out his card yet," she added. + +"Why not?" + +"I never do." + +"Has he been here before, then?" + +"No; that's the reason." + +"The reason for what?" + +"Well," Patty deigned to explain, "I've invited him for every party +since freshman year." + +"And did he decline?" + +"No; he accepted, but he never came." + +"Why not?" + +"He was scared." + +"Scared? Of the girls?" + +"Yes," said Patty, "partly--but mostly of the faculty." + +"The _faculty_ wouldn't hurt him." + +"Of course not; but he couldn't understand that. You see, he had a +fright when he was young." + +"A fright? What was it?" + +"Well," said Patty, "it happened this way: It was while I was at +boarding-school. He was at Andover then, and his home was in the South; +and one time when he went through Washington he stopped off to call on +me. As it happened, the butler had left two days before, and had taken +with him all the knives and forks, and all the money he could find, and +Nancy Lee's gold watch and two hat-pins, and my silver hair-brush, and a +bottle of brandy, and a pie," she enumerated with a conscientious regard +for details; "and Mrs. Trent--that's the principal--had advertised for a +new butler." + +"I should have thought the old one would have discouraged her from +keeping butlers," said Georgie. + +"You _would_ think so," said Patty; "but she was a very persevering +woman. On the day that Raoul--that's his name--came to call, nineteen +people had applied for the place, and Mrs. Trent was worn out from +interviewing them. So she told Miss Sarah--that's her daughter--to +attend to those who came in the evening. Miss Sarah was tall and wore +spectacles, and was--was--" + +"A good disciplinarian," suggested the Twin. + +"Yes," said Patty, feelingly, "an _awfully_ good disciplinarian. Well, +when Raoul got there he gave his card to Ellen and asked for me; but +Ellen didn't understand, and she called Miss Sarah, and when Miss Sarah +saw him in his evening clothes she--" + +"Took him for a butler," put in Georgie. + +"Yes, she took him for a butler; and she looked at the card he'd given +Ellen, and said icily, 'What does this mean?' + +"'It's--it's my name,' he stammered. + +"'I see,' said Miss Sarah; 'but where is your recommendation?' + +"'I didn't know it was necessary,' he said, terribly scared. + +"'Of course it's necessary,' Miss Sarah returned. 'I can't allow you to +come into the house unless I have letters from the places where you've +been before.' + +"'I didn't suppose you were so strict,' he said. + +"'We have to be strict,' Miss Sarah answered firmly. 'Have you had much +experience?' + +"He didn't know what she meant, but he thought it would be safest to say +he hadn't. + +"'Then of course you won't do,' she replied. 'How old are you?' + +"He was so frightened by this time that he couldn't remember. +'Nineteen,' he gasped--'I mean twenty.' + +"Miss Sarah saw his confusion, and thought he had designs on some of +the heiresses intrusted to her care. 'I don't see how you _dared_ to +come here,' she said severely. 'I should not think of having you in the +house for a moment. You're altogether too young and too good-looking.' +And with that Raoul got up and bolted. + +"When Ellen told Miss Sarah the next day that he'd asked for me, she was +terribly mortified, and she made me write and explain, and invite him to +dinner; but wild horses couldn't have dragged him into the house again. +He's been afraid to stop off in Washington ever since. He always goes +straight through on a sleeper, and says he has nightmares even then." + +"And is that why he won't come to the college?" + +"Yes," said Patty; "that's the reason. I told him we didn't have any +butlers here; but he said we had lady faculty, and that's as bad." + +"But I thought you said he _was_ coming to the Prom." + +"He is this time." + +"Are you sure?" + +"Yes," said Patty, with ominous emphasis, "I'm sure. He knows," she +added, "what will happen if he doesn't." + +"What will happen?" asked the Twin. + +"Nothing." + +The Twin shook her head, and Georgie inquired, "Then why don't you make +out his program?" + +"I suppose I might as well. I didn't do it before because it sort of +seemed like tempting Providence. I didn't want to be the cause of any +really _serious_ accident happening to him," she explained a trifle +ambiguously as she got out pencil and paper. "What dances can you give +me, Lucille? And you, Georgie, have you got the third taken?" + +While this business was being settled, a knock unheeded had sounded on +the door. It came again. + +"What's that?" asked Priscilla. "Did some one knock? Come in." + +The door opened, and a maid stood upon the threshold with a yellow +envelop in her hand. She peered uncertainly around the darkened room +from one face to another. "Miss Patty Wyatt?" she asked. + +Patty stretched out her hand in silence for the envelop, and, propping +it up on her desk, looked at it with a grim smile. + +"What is it, Patty? Aren't you going to read it?" + +"There's no need. I know what it says." + +"Then I'll read it," said Priscilla, ripping it open. + +"Is it a leg or an arm?" Patty inquired with mild curiosity. + +"Neither," said Priscilla; "it's a collar-bone." + +"Oh," murmured Patty. + +"What is it?" demanded Georgie the curious. "Read it out loud." + + "NEW HAVEN, November 29. + + "Broke collar-bone playing foot-ball. Honest + Injun. Terribly sorry. Better luck next time." + + "RAOUL." + +"There will not," observed Patty, "_be_ a next time." + + + + +III + +The Impressionable Mr. Todhunter + + +"Has the mail been around yet?" called Priscilla to a girl at the other +end of the corridor. + +"Don't believe so. It hasn't been in our room." + +"There she comes now!" and Priscilla swooped down upon the mail-girl. +"Got anything for 399?" + +"Do you want Miss Wyatt's mail too?" + +"Yes; I'll take everything. What a lot! Is that all for us?" And +Priscilla walked down the corridor swinging her note-book by its +shoe-string, and opening envelops as she went. She was presently joined +by Georgie Merriles, likewise swinging a note-book by a shoe-string. + +"Hello, Pris; going to English? Want me to help carry your mail?" + +"Thank you," said Priscilla; "you may keep the most of it. Now, that," +she added, holding out a blue envelop, "is an advertisement for cold +cream which no lady should be without; and that"--holding out a yellow +envelop--"is an advertisement for beef extract which no brain-worker +should be without; and that"--holding out a white envelop--"is the worst +of all, because it looks like a legitimate letter, and it's nothing but +a 'Dear Madam' thing, telling me my tailor has moved from Twenty-second +to Forty-third Street, and hopes I'll continue to favor him with my +patronage. + +"And here," she went on, turning to her room-mate's correspondence, "is +a cold-cream and a beef-extract letter for Patty, and one from Yale; +that's probably Raoul explaining why he couldn't come to the Prom. It +won't do any good, though. No mortal man can ever make her believe he +didn't have his collar-bone broken on purpose. And I don't know whom +that's from," Priscilla continued, examining the last letter. "It's +marked 'Hotel A----, New York.' Never heard of it, did you? Never saw +the writing before, either." + +Georgie laughed. "Do you keep tab on all of Patty's correspondents?" + +"Oh, I know the most of them by this time. She usually reads the +interesting ones out loud, and the ones that aren't interesting she +never answers, so they stop writing. Hurry up; the bell's going to +ring"; and they pushed in among the crowd of girls on the steps of the +recitation-hall. + +The bell did ring just as they reached the class-room, and Priscilla +dropped the letters, without comment, into Patty's lap as she went past. +Patty was reading poetry and did not look up. She had assimilated some +ten pages of Shelley since the first bell rang, and as she was not sure +which would be taken up in class, she was now swallowing Wordsworth in +the same voracious manner. Patty's method in Romantic Poetry was to be +very fresh on the first part of the lesson, catch the instructor's eye +early in the hour, make a brilliant recitation, and pass the remainder +of the time in gentle meditation. + +To-day, however, the unwonted bulk of her correspondence diverted her +mind from its immediate duty. She failed to catch the instructor's eye, +and the recitation proceeded without her assistance. Priscilla watched +her from the back seat as she read the Yale letter with a skeptical +frown, and made a grimace over the blue and the yellow; but before she +had reached the Hotel A----, Priscilla was paying attention to the +recitation again. It was coming her way, and she was anxiously forming +an opinion on the essential characteristics of Wordsworth's view of +immortality. + +Suddenly the room was startled by an audible titter from Patty, who +hastily composed her face and assumed a look of vacuous innocence--but +too late. She had caught the instructor's eye at last. + +"Miss Wyatt, what do you consider the most serious limitations of our +author?" + +Miss Wyatt blinked once or twice. This question out of its context was +not illuminating. It was a part of her philosophy, however, never to +flunk flat; she always crawled. + +"Well," she began with an air of profound deliberation, "that question +might be considered in two ways, either from an artistic or a +philosophic standpoint." + +This sounded promising, and the instructor smiled encouragingly. "Yes?" +she said. + +"And yet," continued Patty, after still profounder deliberation, "I +think the same reason will be found to be the ultimate explanation of +both." + +The instructor might have inquired, "Both what?" but she refrained and +merely waited. + +Patty thought she had done enough, but she plunged on desperately: "In +spite of his really deep philosophy we notice a certain--one might +almost say _dash_ about his poetry, and a lack of--er--meditation which +I should attribute to his immaturity and his a--rather wild life. If he +had lived longer I think he might have overcome it in time." + +The class looked dazed, and the corners of the instructor's mouth +twitched. "It is certainly an interesting point of view, Miss Wyatt, +and, as far as I know, entirely original." + +As they were crowding out at the end of the recitation Priscilla pounced +upon Patty. "What on earth were you saying about Wordsworth's youth and +immaturity?" she demanded. "The man lived to be over eighty, and +composed a poem with his last gasp." + +"Wordsworth? I was talking about Shelley." + +"Well, the class wasn't." + +"How should I know?" Patty demanded indignantly. "She said 'our author,' +and I avoided specific details as long as I could." + +"Oh, Patty, Patty! and you said he was wild--the lamblike Wordsworth!" + +"What were you laughing at, anyway?" demanded Georgie. + +Patty smiled again. "Why, _this_" she said, unfolding the Hotel A---- +letter. "It's from an Englishman, Mr. Todhunter, some one my father +discovered last summer and invited out to stay with us for a few days. +I'd forgotten all about him, and here he writes to know whether and when +he may call, and, if so, will it be convenient for him to come to-night. +That's a comprehensive sentence, isn't it? His train gets in at +half-past five and he'll be out about six." + +"He isn't going to take any chances," said Priscilla. + +"No," said Patty; "but I don't mind. I invited him to come out to dinner +some night, though I'd forgotten it. He's really very nice, and, in +spite of what the funny papers say about Englishmen, quite +entertaining." + +"Intentionally or unintentionally?" inquired Georgie. + +"Both," said Patty. + +"What's he doing in America?" asked Priscilla. "Not writing a book on +the American Girl, I hope." + +"Not quite as bad as that," said Patty. "He's corresponding for a +newspaper, though." She smiled dreamily. "He's very curious about +college." + +"Patty, I _hope_ you were not guilty of trying to make an Englishman, a +guest in your father's house, believe any of your absurd fabrications!" + +"Of course not," said Patty; "I was most careful in everything I told +him. But," she acknowledged, "he--he gets impressions easily." + +"It is easy to get impressions when one is talking with you," observed +Georgie. + +"He asked me," Patty continued, ignoring this remark, "what we studied +in college! But I remembered that he was an alien in a foreign land, and +I curbed my natural instincts, and outlined the courses in the catalogue +verbatim, and I explained the different methods of instruction, and +described the library and laboratories and lecture-rooms." + +"Was he impressed?" asked Priscilla. + +"Yes," said Patty; "I think you might almost say dazed. He asked me +apologetically if we ever did anything to relieve the strain,--had any +amusements, you know,--and I said, oh, yes; we had a Browning and an +Ibsen club, and we sometimes gave Greek tragedies in the original. He +was positively afraid to come near me again, for fear I'd forget and +talk to him in Greek instead of English." + +In view of the facts, Patty's friends considered this last remark +distinctly humorous, for she had flunked her freshman Greek three times, +and had been advised by the faculty to take it over sophomore year. + +"I hope, since he's a newspaper writer," said Priscilla, "that you'll do +something to lighten his impression, or he'll never favor women's +colleges in England." + +"I hadn't thought of that," said Patty; "perhaps I ought." + +They had reached the steps of the dormitory. "Let's not go in," said +Georgie; "let's go down to Mrs. Muldoon's and get some chocolate cake." + +"Thank you," said Priscilla; "I'm in training." + +"Soup, then." + +"Can't eat between meals." + +"You come, then, Patty." + +"Sorry, but I've got to take my white dress down to the laundry and have +it pressed." + +"Are you going to dress up for him to the extent of evening clothes?" + +"Yes," said Patty; "I think I owe it to the American Girl." + +"Well," sighed Georgie, "I'm hungry, but I suppose I might as well go in +and dress that doll for the College Settlement Association. The show's +to-night." + +"Mine's done," said Priscilla; "and Patty wouldn't take one. Did you see +Bonnie Connaught sitting on the back seat in biology this morning, +hemming her doll's petticoat straight through the lecture?" + +"Really?" laughed Patty. "It's a good thing Professor Hitchcock's +near-sighted." + +The College Settlement Association, by way of parenthesis, was in the +habit of distributing three hundred dolls among the students every year +before Christmas, to be dressed and sent to the settlement in New York. +The dolls were supposed to be so well dressed that the East Side mothers +could use them as models for the clothing of their own children, though +it must be confessed that the tendency among the girls was to strive for +effect and not for detail. On the evening before the dolls were to be +shipped a doll show was regularly held, at which two cents admittance +was charged (stamps accepted) to pay the expressage. + + * * * * * + +IT was ten minutes past six, and Phillips Hall (such of it as was not +late) was dining, when the maid arrived with Mr. Algernon Vivian +Todhunter's card. Patty, radiant in a white evening gown, was trying, +with much squirming, to fasten it in the middle of the back. + +"Oh, Sadie," she called to the maid, "would you mind coming in here and +buttoning my dress? I can't reach it from above or below." + +"You look just beautiful, Miss Wyatt," said Sadie, admiringly. + +Patty laughed. "Do you think I can uphold the honor of the nation?" + +"To be sure, miss," said Sadie, politely. + +Patty ran down the corridor to the door of the reception-room, and then +swept slowly in with what she called an air of continental repose. The +room was empty. She glanced about in some surprise, for she knew that +the two reception-rooms on the other side of the hall were being used +for the doll show. She tiptoed over and peered in through the half-open +door. The room was filled with dolls in rows and tiers; every piece of +furniture was covered with them; and in a far corner, at the end of a +long vista of dolls, appeared Mr. Algernon Vivian Todhunter, gingerly +sitting on the edge of a sofa, surrounded by flaxen-haired baby dolls, +and awkwardly holding in his lap the three he had displaced. + +Patty drew back behind the door, and spent fully three minutes in +regaining her continental repose; then she entered the room and greeted +Mr. Todhunter effusively. He carefully transferred the dolls to his left +arm and stood up and shook hands. + +"Let me take the little dears," said Patty, kindly; "I'm afraid they're +in your way." + +Mr. Todhunter murmured something about its being a pleasure and a +privilege to hold them. + +Patty plumped up their clothes and rearranged them on the sofa with +motherly solicitude, while Mr. Todhunter watched her gravely, his +national politeness and his reportorial instinct each struggling for the +mastery. Finally he began tentatively: "I say, Miss Wyatt, do--er--the +young ladies spend much time playing with dolls?" + +"No," said Patty, candidly; "I don't think you could say they spend +_too_ much. I have never heard of but one girl actually neglecting her +work for it. You mustn't think that we have as many dolls as this here +_every_ night," she went on. "It is rather an unusual occurrence. Once a +year the girls hold what they call a doll show to see who has dressed +her doll the best." + +"Ah, I see," said Mr. Todhunter; "a little friendly rivalry." + +"Purely friendly," said Patty. + +As they started for the dining-room Mr. Todhunter adjusted his monocle +and took a parting look at the doll show. + +"I'm afraid you think us childish, Mr. Todhunter," said Patty. + +"Not at all, Miss Wyatt," he assured her hastily. "I think it quite +charming, you know, and so--er--unexpected. I had always been told that +they played somewhat peculiar games at these women's colleges, but I +never supposed they did anything so feminine as to play with dolls." + +[Illustration: Mr. Algernon Vivian Todhunter, gingerly sitting on the +edge of a chair] + + * * * * * + +WHEN Patty returned to her room that night, she found Georgie and +Priscilla surrounded by grammars and dictionaries, doing German prose. +Her appearance was hailed with a cry of indignant protest. + +"When _I_ have a man," said Priscilla, "I divide him up among my +friends." + +"_Especially_ when he's a curiosity," added Georgie. + +"And we dressed up in grand clothes, and stood in your way coming out of +chapel," went on Priscilla, "and you never even looked at us." + +"Englishmen are so bashful," apologized Patty; "I didn't want to +frighten him." + +Priscilla looked at her suspiciously. "Patty, I hope you didn't impose +on the poor man's credulity." + +"Certainly not!" said Patty, with dignity. "I explained everything he +asked me, and was most careful not to exaggerate. But," she added with +engaging frankness, "I cannot be responsible for any _impressions_ he +may have obtained. When an Englishman once gets an idea, you know, it's +almost impossible to change it." + + + + +IV + +A Question of Ethics + + +Patty's class-room methods were the result of a wide experience in the +professorial type of mind. By her senior year she had reduced the matter +of recitation to a system, and could foretell with unvarying precision +the day she would be called on and the question she would be asked. Her +tactics varied with the subject and the instructor, and were the result +of a penetration and knowledge of human nature that might have +accomplished something in a worthier cause. + +In chemistry, for example, her instructor was a man who had outlived any +early illusions in regard to the superior conscientiousness of girls +over boys. He was not by nature a suspicious person, but a long +experience in teaching had inculcated an inordinate wariness which was +sometimes out of season. He allowed no napping in his classes, and those +who did not pay attention suffered. Patty discovered his weakness early +in the year, and planned her campaign accordingly. As long as she did +not understand the experiment in hand, she would watch him with a face +beaming with intelligence; but when she did understand, and wished to +recite, she would let her eyes wander to the window with a dreamy, +far-away smile, and, being asked a question, would come back to the +realities of chemistry with a start, and, after a moment of ostentatious +pondering, make a brilliant recitation. It must be confessed that her +moments of abstraction were rare; she was far too often radiantly +interested. + +In French her tactics were exactly opposite. The instructor, with all +the native politeness of his race, called on those only who caught his +eye and appeared willing and anxious to recite. This made the matter +comparatively simple, but still required considerable finesse. Patty +dropped her pen, spilled the pages from her note-book, tied her +shoe-string, and even sneezed opportunely in order not to catch his eye +at inconvenient moments. The rest of the class, who were not artists, +contented themselves with merely lowering their eyes as he looked along +the line--a method which in Patty's scornful estimation said as plainly +as words, "Please don't call on me; I don't know." + +But with Professor Cairnsley, who taught philosophy, it was more +difficult to form a working hypothesis. He had grown old in the service +of the college, and after thirty years' experience of girl-nature he was +still as unsuspiciously trustful as he had been in the beginning. Taking +it for granted that his pupils were as interested in the contemplation +of philosophic truths as he himself, the professor conducted his +recitations without a suspicion of guile, and based his procedure +entirely upon the inspiration of the moment. The key to his method had +always remained a mystery, and several generations of classes had +searched for it in vain. Some averred that he called on every seventh +girl; others, that he drew lots. Patty triumphantly announced early in +the course that she had discovered the secret at last--that on Monday he +called on the red-haired girls; on Tuesday, those with yellow hair; on +Wednesday and Thursday, those with brown; and on Friday, those with +black. But this solution, like the others, was found to break down in +actual practice; and Patty, for one, discovered that it required all her +ingenuity, and even a good deal of studying, to maintain her reputation +for brilliancy in Professor Cairnsley's classes. And she cared about +maintaining it, for she liked the professor and was one of his favorite +pupils. She had known his wife before she entered college, and she often +called upon them in their home, and, in short, exemplified the ideal +relations between faculty and students. + +Owing to the pressure of many interests, Patty's researches into +philosophy were not as deep as the intentions of the course, but she had +a very good working knowledge, which, in its details, would have +astonished Professor Cairnsley could he have got behind the scenes. +Though her knowledge was not based strictly on the text-book, her +reputation in the class was good, and, as Patty admitted with a sigh, +"It's a great strain on the imagination to keep up a reputation in +philosophy." + +It had been established, indeed, as far back as her sophomore year, when +the psychology class was awed into silence by its first introduction to +the abstractions of science, and Patty alone had dared to lift her +voice. The professor, one morning, had been placidly lecturing along on +the subject of sensation, and in the course of the lecture had remarked: +"It is probable that the individual experiences all the primary +sensations during the first few months of infancy, and that in after +life there is no such thing as a new sensation." + +"Professor Cairnsley," Patty piped up, "did you ever shoot the chutes?" + +The ice was broken at last, and the class felt at home, even in the +somewhat deep waters of philosophy; and Patty, however undeservedly, had +gained the credit of having a deeper insight than most into matters +psychical. + +And so into her senior year, when she entered upon the study of ethics, +she carried along an unearned and fragile reputation, built upon +subterfuges and likely to crumble at the slightest touch. She had +maintained it very creditably up to the Christmas vacation, and had +argued upon the ultimate ground of moral obligation and the origin of +conscience quite as intelligently as though she had previously read what +the text-book had to say on the subject. But when they had commenced the +study of specific theologies, based upon definite historical facts, +Patty found her imagination of little use, and on several occasions it +had been purely good luck that had saved her from exposure. Once the +bell had rung at an opportune moment, and twice she had been able to +avert a direct answer by leading the discussion into side issues. She +realized, however, that fortune would not always favor her, and as the +professor usually forgot to call the roll, she formed the nefarious +practice of cutting class when she did not have her lesson. + +For a week or so in particular, her pressure of work in other directions +(not all of them scholastic) had prevented her from devoting her usual +amount of energy to the task of maintaining her philosophy reputation, +and she had, without conscience, cut ethics several days in succession, +and had failed to comment upon the fact to the professor. + +"What did he lecture about in ethics--those recitations I missed?" she +inquired of Priscilla, one afternoon. + +"Swedenborg." + +"Swedenborg," repeated Patty, dreamily. "He got up a new religion, +didn't he? Or was it a new system of gymnastics? I've heard about him, +but I don't seem to remember any details." + +"You'd better make him up; he's important." + +"I dare say; but I've lived twenty-one years without knowing about him, +and I can wait a month longer. I'm saving up Confucius and the Jesuits +for examination-time, and I'll add Swedenborg to the list." + +"You'd better not. Professor Cairnsley's fond of him, and is likely to +pop a special examination at any moment." + +"Not Professor Cairnsley," laughed Patty. "He doesn't want to waste the +time. He's going to lecture straight on for two weeks--nice man; I see +it in his eye. What I admire in a professor is a good, steady, plodding +disposition that doesn't go in for sensational surprises." + +"You'll find yourself mistaken some day," warned Priscilla. + +"No danger, my dear Cassandra. I know Professor Cairnsley, and Professor +Cairnsley thinks he knows me; and we just get along together +beautifully. I wish there were more like him," Patty added with a sigh. + +Professor Cairnsley began a lecture the next morning which was evidently +calculated to extend through the hour, and Patty cast a triumphant +glance at Priscilla as she unscrewed the top of her fountain-pen and +settled down to work. In the course of the lecture, however, he had +occasion to refer to Swedenborg, and, pausing a moment, he casually +asked a girl on the front seat for a resume of Swedenborg's philosophy. +She, unfortunately confusing him with Schopenhauer, glibly attributed to +him doctrines which would have outraged his soul could he have heard +them. It is written that the worm will turn, and the professor's bland +smile deserted him as he passed the question to a second girl without +much better result. The class in general had evidently been laboring +under Patty's delusion that the time had not come in which to learn back +notes. Amazed and indignant, he pursued the matter with a persistency +and a rancor he seldom showed. He began going straight through the +class, growing more and more sarcastic with each recitation. + +As she saw him finish with the row in front and begin on her row, Patty +knew that she was doomed. She racked her brain for some memory of +Swedenborg. He was a name to her and nothing more. He might have been an +ancient Greek or a modern American, for all she knew. As Professor +Cairnsley came along the line he was gradually eliciting from the +terrified class the superficial points which were more or less common to +all philosophers. Patty perceived that her imagination could not help +her out, that for once the placid professor was on the war-path, and +that Swedenborg, and nothing but Swedenborg, would serve. She cast an +agonized glance up at Priscilla, and Priscilla grinned back with "I told +you so" written on every feature. + +Patty looked about desperately. The lecture-room was shaped like an +amphitheater, with part of the seats on a level with the main floor, +and the rest rising in tiers. Patty sat on the main floor, well toward +the rear. She could barely see the professor's head, but he was coming +irrevocably. She did not have to see very clearly to know that. The girl +before her answered wildly; the professor frowned, and, looking down at +his roll-book, slowly and deliberately made a zero. + +When he raised his eyes again Patty's seat was empty. She was kneeling +on the floor, with her head bowed behind the girl in front. The +unconscious professor passed over her bent head and called on the girl +on the other side, who coughed hysterically once or twice, and flunked +flat; and while he was crediting the fact in his roll-book Patty resumed +her seat. A ripple of laughter ran around the room; the professor +frowned, and remarked that he saw no occasion for amusement. The bell +rang, and the class somewhat sheepishly filed out. + +That afternoon Patty burst into the study where Priscilla and Georgie +Merriles were making tea. "Did you ever think I had much of a +conscience?" she demanded. + +"Never thought it was your strong point," said Georgie. + +"Well, I've got a perfectly tremendous one! What do you think I've been +doing?" + +"Making up your ethics lectures," suggested Priscilla. + +"Worse than that." + +"You _haven't_ been to gym, Patty!" said Georgie. + +"Goodness, no! I'm not so far gone as that. Well, I'll tell you. I met +Professor Cairnsley by the gate and walked in with him, and, if you +please, he complimented me on my work in ethics!" + +"That ought to have been embarrassing," said Georgie. + +"It was," acknowledged Patty. "I told him I didn't really know as much +as he thought I did." + +"What did he say?" + +"He said I was too modest. He's such a trustful old man, you know, that +you sort of hate to deceive him. And what do you think? I told him about +the seat!" + +Priscilla smiled approvingly upon her usually recreant room-mate. "Well, +Patty, you certainly are better than I gave you credit for!" + +"Thank you," murmured Patty. + +"I begin to believe you _have_ got a conscience," said Georgie. + +"An excellent one," said Patty, complacently. + +"It pays in the end," said Priscilla. + +"It does," agreed Patty. "Professor Cairnsley said he would explain +Swedenborg to me himself, and he invited me over to dinner to-night!" + + + + +V + +The Elusive Kate Ferris + + +The mysterious Kate Ferris, who kept Priscilla on the verge of nervous +prostration for a whole semester, entered upon her college career in an +entirely unpremeditated and impromptu manner. It began one day away back +in November. Georgie Merriles and Patty had just strolled home from the +athletic field, where they had been witnessing the start of a +paper-chase cross country, in which Priscilla was impersonating a fox. +As they entered the study, Georgie stopped to examine some loose sheets +of paper which were impaled upon the door. + +"What's this, Patty?" + +"Oh, that's the registration-list for the German Club. Priscilla's +secretary, you know, and every one who wants to join comes here. The +study has been so full of freshmen all the time that I told her to hang +it on the door and let them join outside; it works beautifully." Patty +turned the leaves and ran her eyes down the list of sprawling +signatures. "It's a popular organization, isn't it? The freshmen are +simply scrambling to get in." + +"They're trying to show Fraeulein Scherin how much interest they take in +the subject," Georgie laughed. + +Patty picked up the pencil. "Would you like to join? I know Priscilla +would be gratified." + +"No, thank you; I pay club dues enough already." + +"I'm afraid I'm not exactly eligible myself, as I don't know any German. +It's such a beautifully sharp pencil, though, that I hate not to write +with it." Patty poised the pencil a moment, and abstractedly traced the +name "Kate Ferris." + +Georgie laughed. "If there should happen to be a Kate Ferris in college, +she would be surprised to find herself a member of the German Club," +and the incident was forgotten. + +A few days later the two came in from class, to find Priscilla and the +president of the German Club sitting on the divan with their heads +together, frantically turning the leaves of the catalogue. + +"She isn't a sophomore," the president announced. "She _must_ be a +freshman, Priscilla. Look again." + +"I've gone over this list three times, and there isn't a single Ferris +down." + +Georgie and Patty exchanged glances and inquired the trouble. + +"A girl named Kate Ferris has registered for the German Club, and we've +gone through all the classes, and there simply isn't any such girl in +college." + +"Possibly a special," Patty suggested. + +"Of course! Why didn't we think of that?" And Priscilla turned to the +list of special students. "No; she isn't here." + +"Let me look"; and Patty ran her eyes down the column. "You've mistaken +the name," she remarked, handing the book back with a shrug. + +Priscilla produced the registration-list, and triumphantly exhibited an +unmistakable Kate Ferris. + +"They forgot to put her in the catalogue." + +"I never knew them to make such a mistake before," said the president, +dubiously. "I don't believe we'd better put her in the roll-book till we +find out who she is." + +"Then you'll hurt her feelings," said Georgie. "Freshmen are terribly +sensitive about being slighted." + +"Oh, very well; it doesn't matter." And Kate Ferris was accordingly +enrolled in the club records. + +Several weeks later Priscilla was engaged in laboriously turning the +minutes of the last meeting into grammatical German, and as she closed +the dictionary and grammar with a sigh of relief, she remarked to Patty: +"Do you know, it's very queer about that Kate Ferris. She hasn't paid +her dues, and, as far as I can make out, she hasn't attended a single +meeting. Wouldn't you take her name off the roll? I don't believe she's +in college any more." + +"You might as well," said Patty, and she listlessly watched Priscilla as +she scratched out the name with a penknife. Patty never made the mistake +of over-acting. + +The next morning, as Priscilla came in from a class, she found a note on +her door-block, written in the perpendicular characters of Kate Ferris. +It ran: + + DEAR MISS POND: I came to pay my German Club dues, + and as you are not in, I have left the money on + the bookcase. Am sorry to have missed so many + meetings, but have not been able to attend classes + lately. KATE FERRIS. + +Priscilla exhibited the note to the president as a tangible proof that +Kate Ferris still existed, and reinscribed the name in the roll-book. + +A few weeks later she found a second note on her door-block: + + DEAR MISS POND: As I am very busy with my class + work, I find that I have not time to attend the + German Club meetings, and so have decided to + resign. I left my letter of resignation on the + bookcase. + + KATE FERRIS. + +As Priscilla scratched the name out of the roll-book again she remarked +to Patty: "I am glad this Kate Ferris has left the club at last. She has +caused me more trouble than all the rest of the members put together." + +The next morning a third note appeared on the block: + + DEAR MISS POND: I happened to mention the fact of + my having resigned from the German Club to + Fraeulein Scherin last night, and she said that the + club would help me in my work, and advised me to + stay in it. So I shall be much obliged if you will + not present my letter at the meeting after all, as + I have decided to follow her advice. + + KATE FERRIS. + +Priscilla tossed the note to Patty with a groan, and getting out the +roll-book, she turned to the F's and reenrolled Kate Ferris. + +Patty sympathetically watched the process over her shoulder. "The book +is getting so thin in that spot," she laughed, "that Kate Ferris is +actually coming through on the other side. If she changes her mind many +more times there won't be anything left." + +"I'm going to ask Fraeulein Scherin about her," Priscilla declared. +"She's made me so much trouble that I'm curious to see what she looks +like." + +She did ask Fraeulein Scherin, but Fraeulein denied all knowledge of the +girl. "I have so many freshmen," she apologized, "I cannot all of them +with their queer names remember." + +Priscilla inquired about Kate Ferris from the freshmen she knew, but +though all of them thought that the name sounded familiar, none of them +could exactly place her. She was variously described as tall and dark +and small and light, but further inquiry always proved that the girl +they had in mind was some one else. + +Priscilla kept hearing about the girl on all sides, but could never +catch a glimpse of her. Miss Ferris called several times on business, +but Priscilla always happened to be out. Her name was posted on the +bulletin-board for having library books that were overdue. She even +wrote a paper for one of the German Club meetings (Georgie was not a +facile German scholar, and it had required a whole Saturday); but owing +to the fact that she was suddenly called out of town, she did not read +it in person. + +A month or two after Kate Ferris's advent, Priscilla had friends +visiting her from New York, for whom she gave a tea in the study. + +"I am going to invite Kate Ferris," she announced. "I _insist_ upon +finding out what she looks like." + +"Do," said Patty. "I should like to find out myself." + +The invitation was despatched, and on the next day Priscilla received a +formal acceptance. + +"It's strange that she should send an acceptance for a tea," she +remarked as she read it, "but I'm glad to get it, anyway. I like to +feel sure that I'm to see her at last." + +On the evening of the tea, after the guests had gone and the furniture +had been moved back, the weary hostesses, in somewhat rumpled evening +dresses (a considerable crush results when fifty are entertained in a +room whose utmost capacity is fifteen), were reentertaining one or two +friends on the lettuce sandwiches and cakes the obliging guests had +failed to consume. The company and the clothes having passed in review, +the conversation flagged a little, and Georgie suddenly asked: "Was Kate +Ferris here? I was so busy passing cakes that I didn't look, and I +wanted to see her especially!" + +"That's so!" Patty exclaimed. "I didn't see her, either. She's the most +abnormally inconspicuous person I ever heard of. What did she look like, +Pris?" + +Priscilla knit her brows. "She couldn't have come. I kept watching for +her all the evening. It's strange, isn't it?--when she was so careful +to send an acceptance. I'm growing positively morbid over the girl; I +begin to think she's invisible." + +"I begin to think so myself," said Patty. + +The next morning's mail brought a bunch of violets and an apology from +Kate Ferris. "She had been unavoidably detained." + +"It's positively uncanny!" Priscilla declared. "I shall go to the +registrar and tell her that this Kate Ferris is neither down in the +catalogue nor the college directory, and find out where she lives." + +"Don't do anything reckless," Georgie pleaded. "Take what the gods send +and be grateful." + +But Priscilla was as good as her word, and she returned from the +registrar's office flushed and defiant. "She insists that there isn't +any such person in college, and that I must have made a mistake in the +name! Did you ever hear anything so absurd?" + +"That seems to me the only reasonable explanation," Patty agreed +amicably. "Perhaps it is Harris instead of Ferris." + +Priscilla faced her ominously. "You read the name yourself. It was as +plain as printing." + +"We're all liable to make mistakes," Patty murmured soothingly. + +"Do you know," said Georgie, "I begin to think it's all a hallucination, +and that there really isn't any Kate Ferris. It's strange, of course, +but not any stranger than some of those cases you read about in +psychology." + +"Hallucinations don't send flowers," said Priscilla, hotly; and she +stalked out of the room, leaving Patty and Georgie to review the +campaign. + +"I'm afraid it's gone far enough," said Georgie. "If she bothers the +office very much there'll be an official investigation." + +"I'm afraid so," sighed Patty. "It's been very entertaining, but she is +really getting sensitive on the subject, and I don't dare mention Kate +Ferris's name when we're alone." + +"Shall we tell her?" + +Patty shook her head. "Not just now--I shouldn't dare. She believes in +corporal punishment." + +A few days later Priscilla received another note directed in the hand +she had come to dread. She threw it into the waste-basket unopened; but, +curiosity prevailing, she drew it out again and read it: + + DEAR MISS POND: As I have been obliged to leave + college on account of my health, I inclose my + resignation to the German Club. I thank you very + sincerely for your kindness to me this year, and + shall always look back upon our friendship as one + of the happiest memories of my college life. + + Yours sincerely, + KATE FERRIS. + +When Patty came in she found Priscilla silently and grimly scratching a +hole into the roll-book where Kate Ferris's name had been. + +"Changed her mind again?" Patty asked pleasantly. + +"She's left college," Priscilla snapped, "and don't you ever mention her +name to me again." + +Patty sighed sympathetically and remarked to the room in general: "It's +sort of pathetic to have your whole college life summed up in a hole in +the German Club archives. I can't help feeling sorry for her!" + + + + +VI + +A Story with Four Sequels + + +It was Saturday, and Patty had been working ever since breakfast, with a +brief pause for luncheon, on a paper entitled "Shakspere, the Man." At +four o'clock she laid down her pen, pushed her manuscript into the +waste-basket, and faced her room-mate defiantly. + +"What do I care about Shakspere, the man? He's been dead three hundred +years." + +Priscilla laughed unfeelingly. "What do I care about a frog's nervous +system, for the matter of that? But I am writing an interesting +monograph on it, just the same." + +"Ah, I dare say you are making a valuable addition to the subject." + +"It's quite as valuable as your addition to Shaksperiana." + +Patty dropped a voluble sigh and turned to the window to note that it +was raining dismally. + +"Oh, hand it in," said Priscilla, comfortingly. "You've worked on it all +day, and it's probably no worse than the most of your things." + +"No sense to it," said Patty. + +"They're used to that," laughed Priscilla. + +"What are you laughing at, anyway?" Patty asked crossly. "I don't see +anything to laugh at in this beastly place. Always having to do what you +don't want to do when you most don't want to do it. Just the same, day +after day: get up by bells, eat by bells, sleep by bells. I feel like +some sort of a delinquent living in an asylum." + +Priscilla treated this outburst with the silence it deserved, and Patty +turned back to her perusal of the rain-soaked campus. + +"I wish something would happen," she said discontentedly. "I think I'll +put on a mackintosh and go out in search of adventure." + +"Pneumonia will happen if you do." + +"What business has it to be raining, anyway, when it ought to be +snowing?" + +As this was unanswerable, Priscilla returned to her frogs, and Patty +drummed gloomily on the window-pane until a maid appeared with a card. + +"A caller?" cried Patty. "A missionary! A rescuer! A deliverer! Heaven +send it's for me!" + +"Miss Pond," said Sadie, laying the card on the table. + +Patty pounced upon it. "'Mr. Frederick K. Stanthrope.' Who's he, Pris?" + +Priscilla wrinkled up her brows. "I don't know; I never heard of him. +What do you suppose it can be?" + +"An adventure--I know it's an adventure. Probably your uncle, that you +never heard of, has just died in the South Sea Islands, and left you a +fortune because you're his namesake; or else you're a countess by +rights, and were stolen from your cradle in infancy, and he's the lawyer +come to tell you about it. I think it might have happened to me, when +I'm so bored to death! But hurry up and tell me about it, at least; a +second-hand adventure's better than no adventure at all. Yes, your hair +is all right; never mind looking in the glass." And Patty pushed her +room-mate out of the door, and, sitting down at her desk again, quite +cheerfully pulled her discarded paper out of the waste-basket and began +re-reading it with evident approval. + +Priscilla returned before she had finished. "He didn't ask for me at +all," she announced. "He asked for Miss McKay." + +"Miss McKay?" + +"That junior with the hair," she explained a trifle vaguely. + +"How disgusting!" cried Patty. "I had it all planned how I was going to +live with you in your castle up in the Hartz Mountains, and now it turns +out that Miss McKay is the countess, and I don't even know her. What did +the man look like, and what did he do?" + +"Well, he looked rather frightened, and didn't do anything but stammer. +There were two men in the reception-room, and of course I picked out the +wrong one and begged his pardon and asked if he were Mr. Stanthrope. He +said no; his name was Wiggins. So then the only thing left for me to do +was to beg the other one's pardon. + +"He was sitting in that high-backed green chair, with his eyes glued to +his shoes, and holding his hat and cane in front of him like +breastworks, as if he were preparing to repel an attack. He didn't look +very approachable, but I boldly accosted him and asked if he were Mr. +Stanthrope. He stood up and stammered and blushed and looked as if he +wanted to deny it, but finally acknowledged that he was, and then stood +politely waiting for me to state my business! I explained, and he +stammered some more, and finally got out that he had called to see Miss +McKay, and that the maid must have made a mistake. He was quite cross +about it, you know, and acted as if I had insulted him; and the other +man--the horrible Wiggins one--laughed, and then looked out of the +window and pretended he hadn't. I apologized,--though I couldn't for the +life of me see what there was to apologize for,--and told him I would +send the maid for Miss McKay, and backed out." + +"Is that all?" Patty asked disappointedly. "If I couldn't have a better +adventure than that, I shouldn't have any." + +"But the funny thing is that when I told Sadie, she _insisted_ that he +had asked for me." + +"Ha! The plot thickens, after all. What does it mean? Did he look like a +detective, or merely a pickpocket?" + +"He looked like a very ordinarily embarrassed young man." + +Patty shook her head dejectedly. "There's a mystery somewhere, but I +don't see that it affords much entertainment. I dare say that when Miss +McKay came he told her he hadn't asked for her at all; he had asked for +Miss Higginbotham. The only explanation I can think of is that he is +insane, and there are so many insane people in the world that it isn't +even interesting." + +Patty recounted the story of Priscilla's caller at the dinner-table that +night. + +"I know the sequel," said Lucille Carter. "The other man, the Mr. +Wiggins, is Bonnie Connaught's cousin; and he told her about some young +man who came out in the car with him, and asked for Miss Pond at the +door, and then all of a sudden seemed to change his mind, and went +tearing down the corridor after the maid, yelling, 'Hi, there! Hi, +there!' at the top of his voice; but he couldn't catch her, and when +Miss Pond came he pretended he had asked for some one else." + +"Is that all?" asked Patty. "I don't think it is much of a sequel. It +just proves that there's a plot against Priscilla's life, and I already +knew that. I intend to ask Miss McKay about him. I don't know her, +except by sight, but in a case of life and death like this, I don't +think it's necessary to wait for an introduction." + +The next evening Patty announced: "Sequel number two! Mr. Frederick K. +Stanthrope lives in New York, and is Miss McKay's brother's best friend. +She has only met him once before, and doesn't know any of his past +affiliations. But the queer thing is that he never mentioned to her +anything about Priscilla. Shouldn't you naturally think he would have +told her about such a funny mistake? + +"In my opinion," Patty continued solemnly, "it was plainly premeditated. +He is undoubtedly a villain in disguise, and he used his acquaintance +with Miss McKay as a cloak to elude detection. My theory is this: He got +Priscilla's name out of the catalogue, and came here intending to murder +her for her _jools_; but when he saw how big she was he was scared and +so abandoned his dastardly intent. Now if he had chosen me, my body +would, at this moment, have been concealed behind the sofa, and my +class-pin reposing in the murderer's pocket." + +Patty shuddered. "Think what I escaped. And all the time I was grumbling +because nothing ever happens here!" + +A few days later she appeared at the table with a further announcement: +"I have the pleasure of offering for your perusal, young ladies, the +third and last sequel in the great Stanthrope-Pond-McKay mystery. And I +hereby take the opportunity of apologizing to Mr. Stanthrope for my +unworthy suspicions. He is not a burglar, nor a detective, nor a +murderer, nor even a lawyer, but just a poor young man with a buried +romance." + +"How did you find out?"--in a chorus of voices. + +"I just met Miss McKay in the hall, and she has been in New York, where +her brother told her the particulars. It seems that three or four years +ago Mr. Frederick K. Stanthrope was engaged to a girl here in college +named Alice Pond--she is now Mrs. Hiram Brown, but that has nothing to +do with the story. + +"Being in town last Saturday on business, he decided to run out and call +on Miss McKay, as he was such a friend of her brother's--and also for +the sake of old times. He amused himself all the way out in the car by +resurrecting his buried romance, and he kept getting more and more +pensive with every mile. When he finally reached the door and handed his +card to the maid, he abstractedly called for Miss Pond just as he used +to do four years ago. He didn't realize at first what he had done. Then +it came over him in a flash, but he couldn't catch Sadie. He knew, of +course, that the other man had heard, and he sat there scared to death, +trying to think of some plausible excuse, and momentarily expecting a +strange Miss Pond to pop in and demand an explanation. + +"Sure enough, the curtains parted, and a tall, beautiful, stately +creature (I quote Miss McKay's brother) swept into the room, and, +approaching the wrong man, asked him in haughty tones if he were Mr. +Frederick K. Stanthrope. He very properly denied it, whereupon there was +nothing for the right Mr. Stanthrope to do but stand up and acknowledge +it like a man, which he did; but there he stuck. His imagination was +numbed, paralyzed; so he turned it off on poor Sadie, and all the time +he knew that the other man knew that he was lying. And that is all," +Patty finished. "It's not much of a story, but such as it is, it's a +blessing to have it concluded." + +"Patty," called Priscilla, from the other end of the table, "have you +been telling them that absurd story?" + +"Why not?" asked Patty. "Having heard so many sequels, they naturally +wanted to hear the last." + +Priscilla laughed. "But yours doesn't happen to be the last. I know a +still later one." + +"Later than Patty's?" the table demanded. + +"Yes, later than Patty's. It isn't really a sequel; it's just an +appendix. I shouldn't tell you, only you'll find it out, so I might as +well. Miss McKay has invited two men for the junior party, and both have +accepted. As two men are hard to manage, she has (by request) asked me +to take care of one of them--namely, Mr. Frederick K. Stanthrope." + +Patty sighed. "I see a whole series of sequels stretching away into the +future. It's worse than the Elsie Books!" + + + + +VII + +In Pursuit of Old English + + +"Hello, Patty! Have you read the bulletin-board this morning?" called +Cathy Fair, as she caught up with Patty on the way home from a +third-hour recitation. + +"No," said Patty; "I think it's a bad habit. You see too many unpleasant +things there." + +"Well, there's certainly an unpleasant one to-day. Miss Skelling wishes +the Old English class to be provided with writing materials this +afternoon." + +Patty stopped with a groan. "I think it's absolutely abominable to give +an examination without a word of warning." + +"Not an examination," quoted Cathy; "just a 'little test to see how +much you know.'" + +"I don't know a thing," wailed Patty--"not a blessed thing." + +"Nonsense, Patty; you know more than any one else in the class." + +"Bluff--it's all pure bluff. I come in strong on the literary criticism +and the general discussions, and she never realizes that I don't know a +word of the grammar." + +"You've got two hours. You can cut your classes and review it up." + +"Two hours!" said Patty, sadly. "I need two days. I've never learned it, +I tell you. The Anglo-Saxon grammar is a thing no mortal can carry in +his head, and I thought I might as well wait and learn it before +examinations." + +"I don't wish to appear unfeeling," laughed Cathy, "but I should say, my +dear, that it serves you right." + +"Oh, I dare say," said Patty. "You are as bad as Priscilla"; and she +trailed gloomily homeward. + +She found her friends reviewing biology and eating olives. "Have one?" +asked Lucille Carter, who, provided with a hat-pin by way of fork, was +presiding over the bottle for the moment. + +"No, thanks," returned Patty, in the tone of one who has exhausted life +and longs for death. + +"What's the matter?" inquired Priscilla. "You don't mean to say that +woman has given you another special topic?" + +"Worse than that!" and Patty laid bare the tragedy. + +A sympathetic silence followed; they realized that while she was, +perhaps, not strictly deserving of sympathy, still her impending fate +was of the kind that might overtake any one. + +"You know, Pris," said Patty, miserably, "that I simply _can't_ pass." + +"No," said Priscilla, soothingly; "I don't believe you can." + +"I shall flunk _flat_--absolutely _flat_. Miss Skelling will never have +any confidence in me again, and will make me recite every bit of +grammar for the rest of the semester." + +"I should think you'd cut," ventured Georgie--that being, in her +opinion, the most obvious method of escaping an examination. + +"I can't. I just met Miss Skelling in the hall five minutes before the +blow fell, and she knows I'm alive and able to be about; besides, the +class meets again to-morrow morning, and I'd have to cram all night or +cut that too." + +"Why don't you go to Miss Skelling and frankly explain the situation," +suggested Lucille the virtuous, "and ask her to let you off for a day or +two? She would like you all the better for it." + +"Will you listen to the guileless babe!" said Patty. "What is there to +explain, may I ask? I can't very well tell her that I prefer not to +learn the lessons as she gives them out, but think it easier to wait and +cram them up at one fell swoop, just before examinations. That _would_ +ingratiate myself in her favor!" + +"It's your own fault," said Priscilla. + +Patty groaned. "I was just waiting to hear you say that! You always do." + +"It's always true. Where are you going?" as Patty started for the door. + +"I am going," said Patty, "to ask Mrs. Richards to give me a new +room-mate: one who will understand and appreciate me, and sympathize +with my afflictions." + +Patty walked gloomily down the corridor, lost in meditation. Her way led +past the door of the doctor's office, which was standing invitingly +open. Three or four girls were sitting around the room, laughing and +talking and waiting their turns. Patty glanced in, and a radiant smile +suddenly lightened her face, but it was instantly replaced by a look of +settled sadness. She walked in and dropped into an arm-chair with a +sigh. + +"What's the matter, Patty? You look as if you had melancholia." + +Patty smiled apathetically. "Not quite so bad as that," she murmured, +and leaned back and closed her eyes. + +[Illustration: What's the matter, Patty?] + +"Next," said the doctor from the doorway; but as she caught sight of +Patty she walked over and shook her arm. "Is this Patty Wyatt? What is +the matter with you, child?" + +Patty opened her eyes with a start. "Nothing," she said; "I'm just a +little tired." + +"Come in here with me." + +"It's not my turn," objected Patty. + +"That makes no difference," returned the doctor. + +Patty dropped limply into the consulting-chair. + +"Let me see your tongue. Um-m--isn't coated very much. Your pulse seems +regular, though possibly a trifle feverish. Have you been working hard?" + +"I don't think I've been working any harder than usual," said Patty, +truthfully. + +"Sitting up late nights?" + +Patty considered. "I was up rather late twice last week," she confessed. + +"If you girls persist in studying until all hours of the night, I +don't know what we doctors can do." + +Patty did not think it necessary to explain that it was a Welsh-rabbit +party on each occasion, so she merely sighed and looked out of the +window. + +"Is your appetite good?" + +"Yes," said Patty, in a tone which belied the words; "it seems to be +very good." + +"Um-m," said the doctor. + +"I'm just a little tired," pursued Patty, "but I think I shall be all +right as soon as I get a chance to rest. Perhaps I need a tonic," she +suggested. + +"You'd better stay out of classes for a day or two and get thoroughly +rested." + +"Oh, no," said Patty, in evident perturbation. "Our room is so full of +girls all the time that it's really more restful to go to classes; and, +besides, I can't stay out just now." + +"Why not?" demanded the doctor, suspiciously. + +"Well," said Patty, a trifle reluctantly, "I have a good deal to do. +I've got to cram for an examination, and--" + +The word "cram" was to the doctor as a red rag to a bull. "Nonsense!" +she ejaculated. "I know what I shall do with you. You are going right +over to the infirmary for a few days--" + +"Oh, doctor!" Patty pleaded, with tears in her eyes, "there's _truly_ +nothing the matter with me, and I've _got_ to take that examination." + +"What examination is it?" + +"Old English--Miss Skelling." + +"I will see Miss Skelling myself," said the doctor, "and explain that +you cannot take the examination until you come out. And now," she added, +making a note of Patty's case, "I will have you put in the convalescent +ward, and we will try the rest cure for a few days, and feed you up on +chicken-broth and egg-nog, and see if we can get that appetite back." + +"Thank you," said Patty, with the resigned air of one who has given up +struggling against the inevitable. + +"I like to see you take an interest in your work," added the doctor, +kindly; "but you must always remember, my dear, that health is the first +consideration." + +Patty returned to the study and executed an impromptu dance in the +middle of the floor. + +"What's the matter?" exclaimed Priscilla. "Are you crazy?" + +"No," said Patty; "only ill." And she went into her bedroom and began +slinging things into a dress-suit case. + +Priscilla stood in the doorway and watched her in amazement. "Are you +going to New York?" she asked. + +"No," said Patty; "to the infirmary." + +"Patty Wyatt, you're a wretched little hypocrite!" + +"Not at all," said Patty, cheerfully. "I didn't ask to go, but the +doctor simply insisted. I told her I had an examination, but she said it +didn't make any difference; health must be the first consideration." + +"What's in that bottle?" demanded Priscilla. + +"That's for my appetite," said Patty, with a grin; "the doctor hopes to +improve it. I didn't like to discourage her, but I don't much believe +she can." She dropped an Old English grammar and a copy of "Beowulf" +into her suit-case. + +"They won't let you study," said Priscilla. + +"I shall not ask them," said Patty. "Good-by. Tell the girls to drop in +occasionally and see me in my incarceration. Visiting hour from five to +six." She stuck her head in again. "If any one wants to send violets, I +think they might cheer me up." + + * * * * * + +THE next afternoon Georgie and Priscilla presented themselves at the +infirmary, and were met at the door by the austere figure of the head +nurse. "I will see if Miss Wyatt is awake," she said dubiously, "but I +am afraid you will excite her; she's to be kept very quiet." + +"Oh, no; we'll do her good," remonstrated Georgie; and the two girls +tiptoed in after the nurse. + +The convalescent ward was a large, airy room, furnished in green and +white, with four or five beds, each surrounded with brass poles and +curtains. Patty was lying in one of the corner beds near a window, +propped up on pillows, with her hair tumbled about her face, and a table +beside her covered with flowers and glasses of medicine. This elaborate +paraphernalia of sickness created a momentary illusion in the minds of +the visitors. Priscilla ran to the bedside and dropped on her knees +beside her invalid room-mate. + +"Patty dear," she said anxiously, "how do you feel?" + +A seraphic smile spread over Patty's face. "I've been able to take a +little nourishment to-day," she said. + +"Patty, you're a scandalous humbug! Who gave you those violets? 'With +love, from Lady Clara Vere de Vere'--that blessed freshman!--and you've +borrowed every drop of alcohol the poor child ever thought of owning. +And whom are those roses from? Miss Skelling! Patty, you ought to be +ashamed." + +Patty had the grace to blush slightly. "I was a trifle embarrassed," she +admitted; "but when I reflected upon how sorry she would have been to +find out how little I knew, and how glad she will be to find out how +much I know, my conscience was appeased." + +"Have you been studying?" asked Georgie. + +"Studying!" Patty lifted up the corner of her pillow and exhibited a +blue book. "Two days more of this, and I shall be the chief authority in +America on Anglo-Saxon roots." + +"How do you manage it?" + +"Oh," said Patty, "when the rest-hour begins I lie down and shut my +eyes, and they tiptoe over and look at me, and whisper, 'She's asleep,' +and softly draw the curtains around the bed; and I get out the book and +put in two solid hours of irregular verbs, and am still sleeping when +they come to look at me. They're perfectly astonished at the amount I +sleep. I heard the nurse telling the doctor that she didn't believe I'd +had any sleep for a month. And the worst of it is," she added, "that I +_am_ tired, whether you believe it or not, and I should just love to +stay over here and sleep all day if I weren't so beastly conscientious +about that old grammar." + +"Poor Patty!" laughed Georgie. "She will be imposing on herself next, as +well as on the whole college." + +Friday morning Patty returned to the world. + +"How's Old English?" inquired Priscilla. + +"Very well, thank you. It was something of a cram, but I think I know +that grammar by heart, from the preface to the index." + +"You're back in all your other work. Do you think it paid?" + +"That remains to be seen," laughed Patty. + +She knocked on Miss Skelling's door, and, after the first polite +greetings, stated her errand: "I should like, if it is convenient for +you, to take the examination I missed." + +"Do you feel able to take it to-day?" + +"I feel much better able to take it to-day than I did on Tuesday." + +Miss Skelling smiled kindly. "You have done very good work in Old +English this semester, Miss Wyatt, and I should not ask you to take the +examination at all if I thought it would be fair to the rest of the +class." + +"Fair to the rest of the class?" Patty looked a trifle blank; she had +not considered this aspect of the question, and a slow red flush crept +over her face. She hesitated a moment, and rose uncertainly. "When it +comes to that, Miss Skelling," she confessed, "I'm afraid it wouldn't be +quite fair to the rest of the class for me to take it." + +Miss Skelling did not understand. "But, Miss Wyatt," she expostulated in +a puzzled tone, "it was not difficult. I am sure you could pass." + +Patty smiled. "I am sure I could, Miss Skelling. I don't believe you +could ask me a question that I couldn't answer. But the point is that +it's all learned since Tuesday. The doctor was laboring under a little +delusion--very natural under the circumstances--when she sent me to the +infirmary, and I spent my time there studying." + +"But, Miss Wyatt, this is very unusual. I shall not know how to mark +you," Miss Skelling murmured in some distress. + +"Oh, mark me zero," said Patty, cheerfully. "It doesn't matter in the +least--I know such a lot that I'll get through on the finals. Good-by; +I'm sorry to have troubled you." And she closed the door and turned +thoughtfully homeward. + +"Did it pay?" asked Priscilla. + +Patty laughed and murmured softly: + + "'The King of France rode up the hill with full ten thousand men; + The King of France did gain the top, and then rode down again.'" + +"What are you talking about?" demanded Priscilla. + +"Old English," said Patty, as she sat down at her desk and commenced on +the three days' work she had missed. + + + + +VIII + +The Deceased Robert + + +It was ten o'clock, and Patty, having just read her ethics over for the +third time without comprehending it, had announced sleepily, "I shall +have to be good by inspiration; I can't seem to grasp the rule," when a +knock sounded on the door and a maid appeared with the announcement, +"Mrs. Richards wishes to see Miss Wyatt." + +"At this hour!" Patty cried in dismay. "It must be something serious. +Think, Priscilla. What have I been doing lately that would outrage the +warden sufficiently to call me up at ten o'clock? You don't suppose I'm +going to be suspended or rusticated or expelled or anything like that, +do you? I _honestly_ can't think of a thing I've done." + +"It's a telegram," the maid said sympathetically. + +"A telegram?" Patty's face turned pale, and she left the room without a +word. + +Priscilla and Georgie sat on the couch and looked at each other with +troubled faces. All ordinary telegrams came directly to the students. +They knew that something serious must have happened to have it sent to +the warden. Georgie got up and walked around the room uncertainly. + +"Shall I go away, Pris?" she asked. "I suppose Patty would rather be +alone if anything has happened. But if she's going home and has to pack +her trunk to-night, come and tell me and I will come down and help." + +They stood at the door a few moments talking in low tones, and as +Georgie started to turn away, Patty's step suddenly sounded in the +corridor. She came in with a queer smile on her lips, and sat down on +the couch. + +"The warden has certainly reduced the matter of scaring people to a +fine art," she said. "I was never more frightened in my life. I thought +that the least that had happened was an earthquake which had engulfed +the entire family." + +"What was the matter?" Georgie and Priscilla asked in a breath. + +Patty spread out a crumpled telegram on her knee, and the girls read it +over her shoulder: + + Robert died of an overdose of chloroform at ten + this morning. Funeral to-morrow. + + THOMAS M. WYATT. + +"Thomas M. Wyatt," said Patty, grimly, "is my small brother Tommy, and +Robert is short for Bobby Shafto, which was the name of Tommy's bull +pup, the homeliest and worst-tempered dog that was ever received into +the bosom of a respectable family." + +"But why in the world did he telegraph?" + +"It's a joke," said Patty, shaking her head dejectedly. "Joking runs in +the family, and we've all inherited the tendency. One time my +father--but, as my friend Kipling says, that's another story. This dog, +you see--this Robert Shafto--has cast a shadow over my vacations for +more than a year. He killed my kitten, and ate my Venetian lace +collar--it didn't even give him indigestion. He went out and wallowed in +the rain and mud and came in and slept on my bed. He stole the beefsteak +for breakfast and the rubbers and door-mats for blocks around. Property +on the street appreciably declined, for prospective purchasers refused +to purchase so long as Tommy Wyatt kept a dog. Robert was threatened +with death time and again, but Tommy always managed to conceal him from +impending justice until the trouble had blown over. But this time I +suppose he committed some supreme enormity--probably chewed up the baby +or one of my father's Persian rugs, or something like that. And Tommy, +knowing how I detested the beast, evidently thought it would be a good +joke to telegraph, though wherein lies the point I can't make out." + +"Ah, I see," said Georgie; "and Mrs. Richards thought that Robert was a +relation. What did she say?" + +"She said, 'Come in, Patty dear,' when I knocked on the door. Usually +when I have had the honor of being received by her she has somewhat +frigidly called me 'Miss Wyatt.' I opened the door with my knees shaking +when I heard that 'Patty dear,' and she took my hand and said, 'I am +sorry to have to tell you that I have heard bad news from your brother.' + +"'Tommy?' I gasped. + +"'No; Robert.' + +"I was dazed. I racked my brains, but I couldn't remember any brother +Robert. + +"'He is very ill,' she went on. 'Yes, I must tell you the truth, Patty; +poor little Robert passed away this morning'; and she laid the telegram +before me. Then, when it flashed over me what it meant, I was so +relieved that I put my head down on her desk and simply laughed till I +cried; and she thought I was crying all the time, and kept patting my +head and quoting Psalms. Well, then I didn't dare to tell her, after she +had expended all that sympathy; so as soon as I could stop laughing +(which wasn't very soon, for I had got considerable momentum) I raised +my head and told her--trying to be truthful and at the same time not +hurt her feelings--that Robert was not a brother, but just a sort of +friend. And, do you know, she immediately jumped to the conclusion that +he was a fiance, and began stroking my hair and murmuring that it was +sometimes harder to lose friends than relatives, but that I was still +young, and I must not let it blast my life, and that maybe in the future +when time had dulled the pain--and then, remembering that it wouldn't do +to advise me to adopt a second fiance before I had buried my first, she +stopped suddenly and asked if I wished to go home to the funeral. + +"I told her no, that I didn't think it would be best; and she said +perhaps not if it hadn't been announced, and she kissed me and told me +she was glad to see me bearing up so bravely." + +"Patty!" Priscilla exclaimed in horror, "it's dreadful. How could you +let her think it?" + +"How could I help it?" Patty demanded indignantly. "What with being +frightened into hysterics first, and then having a strange fiance thrust +at me without a moment's notice, I think that I carried off the +situation with rare delicacy and finesse. Do you think it would have +been tactful to tell her it was nothing but a bull pup she was quoting +Scripture about?" + +"I don't see how it was exactly your fault," Georgie acknowledged. + +"Thank you," said Patty. "If you had a brother like Tommy Wyatt you +would know how to sympathize with me. I suppose I ought to be grateful +to know that the dog is dead, but I should like to have had the news +broken a little less gently." + +"Patty," exclaimed Priscilla, as a sudden thought struck her, "do you +happen to remember that you are on the reception committee of the +Dramatic Club cotillion to-morrow night? What will Mrs. Richards think +when she sees you in evening dress, receiving at a party, on the very +day your fiance has been buried?" + +"I wonder?" said Patty, doubtfully. "Do you really think I ought to stay +away? After working like a little buzz-saw making tissue-paper favors +for the thing, I hate to have to miss it just because my brother's bull +pup, that I never even _liked_, is dead. + +"I'll go," she added, brightening, "and receive the guests with a forced +and mechanical smile; and every time I feel the warden's eyes upon me I +shall with difficulty choke back the tears, and she will say to herself: + +"'Brave girl! How nobly she is struggling to present a composed face to +the world! None would dream, to look at that seemingly radiant +creature, that, while she is outwardly so gay, she is in reality +concealing a great sorrow which is gnawing at her very vitals.'" + + + + +IX + +Patty the Comforter + + +It was on the eve of the mid-year examinations, and a gloom had fallen +over the college. The conscientious ones who had worked all the year +were working harder than ever, and the frivolous ones who had played all +the year were working with a desperate frenzy calculated to render their +minds a blank when the crucial hour should have arrived. But Patty was +not working. It was a canon of her college philosophy, gained by three +and a half years' of personal experience, that the day before +examinations is not the time to begin to study. One has impressed the +instructor with one's intelligent interest in the subject, or one has +not, and the result is as sure as if the marks were already down in +black and white in the college archives. And so Patty, who at least +lived up to her lights, was, with the exception of a few points which +she intended to learn for this period only, conscientiously neglecting +the "judicious review" recommended by the faculty. + +Her friends, however, who, though perhaps equally philosophic, were less +consistent, were subjecting themselves to what was known as a "regular +freshman cram"; and as no one had any time to talk to Patty, or to make +anything to eat, she found it an unprofitable period. Her own room-mate +even drove her from the study because she laughed out loud over the book +she was reading; and, an exile, she wandered around to the studies of +her friends, and was confronted by an "engaged" on every door. She was +sitting on a window-sill in the corridor, pondering on the general +barrenness of things, when she suddenly remembered her friends the +freshmen in study 321. She had not visited them for some time, and +freshmen are usually interesting at this period. She accordingly turned +down the corridor that led to 321, and found a "POSITIVELY ENGAGED TO +EVERY ONE!!" in letters three inches high, across the door. This +promised a richness of entertainment within, and Patty heaved a +disappointed sigh loud enough to carry through the transom. + +The turning of leaves and rustling of paper ceased; evidently they were +listening, but they gave no sign. Patty wrote a note on the door-block +with reverberating punctuation-points, and then retired noisily, and +tiptoed back a moment later, and leaned against the wall. Curiosity +prevailed; the door opened, and a face wearing a hunted look peered out. + +"Oh, Patty Wyatt, was that you?" she asked. "We thought it was Frances +Stoddard coming down to have geometry explained, and so we kept still. +Come in." + +"Goodness, no; I wouldn't come in over an 'engaged' like that for +anything. I'm afraid you're busy." + +The freshman grasped her by the arm. "Patty, if you love us come in and +cheer us up. We're so scared we don't know what to do." + +Patty consented to be drawn across the threshold. "I don't want to +interrupt you," she remonstrated, "if you have anything to do." The +study was occupied by three girls. Patty smiled benignly at the two +haggard faces before her. "Where's Lady Clara Vere de Vere?" she asked. +"She surely isn't wasting these precious last moments in anything +frivolous." + +"She's in her bedroom, with a geometry in one hand and a Greek grammar +in the other, trying to learn them both at once." + +"Tell her to come out here; I want to give her some good advice"; and +Patty sat down on the divan and surveyed the dictionary-bestrewn room +with an appreciative smile. + +"Oh, Patty, I'm so glad to see you!" Lady Clara exclaimed, appearing in +the doorway. "The sophomores have been telling us the most _dreadful_ +stories about examinations. They aren't true, are they?" + +"Mercy, no! Don't believe a word those sophomores tell you. They were +freshmen themselves last year, and if the examinations were as bad as +they say, they wouldn't have passed them, either." + +A relieved expression stole over the three faces. + +"You're such a comfort, Patty. Upper-classmen take things easily, don't +they?" + +"One gets inured to almost anything in time," said Patty. "Examinations +are even entertaining, if you know the right answers." + +"But we won't know the right answers!" one of the freshmen wailed, her +terror returning. "We simply don't know _anything_, and Latin comes +to-morrow, and geometry the next day." + +"Oh, well, in that case you can't get through anyway, so don't worry. +You must take it philosophically, you know." Patty settled herself among +the cushions and smiled upon her frightened auditors with easy +nonchalance. "As an example of the uselessness of studying at the +eleventh hour when you haven't done anything through the term, I will +tell you my experience with freshman Greek. I was badly prepared when I +came, I didn't study through the term, and, without exaggeration, I +didn't know anything. Three days before examinations I suddenly +comprehended the situation, and I began swallowing that grammar in +chunks. I drank black coffee to keep awake, and worked till two in the +morning, and scarcely stopped cramming irregular verbs for meals. I +simply thought in Greek and dreamed in Greek. And, if you will believe +it, after all that work I flunked in Greek! It shook my faith in +studying for examinations. I've never done it since, and I've never +flunked since. I believe that it's just a matter of fate whether you get +through or not, so I never bother any more." + +The freshmen looked at one another disconsolately. "If it's all decided +beforehand, we're lost." + +Patty smiled reassuringly. + + "A little flunking now and then + Will happen to the best of men." + +"But I've heard they send people home, drop them, you know, if they +flunk more than a certain amount. Is that so?" Lady Clara inquired in +hushed tones. + +"Oh, yes," said Patty; "they have to. I've known some of the brightest +girls in college to be dropped." + +Lady Clara groaned. "I'm awfully shaky in geometry, Patty. Do they flunk +many girls in that?" + +"Many!" said Patty. "The mere clerical labor of writing out the notes +occupies the department two days." + +"Is the examination terribly hard?" + +"I don't remember much about it. It's been such a long time since I was +a freshman, you see. They picked out the hardest theorems, I +know--things you couldn't even draw, let alone demonstrate: the pyramid +that's cut in slices, for one,--I don't remember its name,--and that +sprawling one that looks like a snail crawling out of its shell: the +devil's coffin, I believe it's called technically. And--oh, yes! they +give you originals--_frightful_ originals, like nothing you've ever had +before; and they put a little note at the top of the page telling you to +do them first, and you get so muddled trying to think fast that you +can't think at all. I know a girl who spent all the two hours trying to +think out an original, and just as she got ready to write it down the +bell rang and she had to hand in her paper." + +"And what happened?" + +"Oh, she flunked. You couldn't really blame the instructor, you know, +for not reading between the lines, for there weren't any lines to read +between; but it was sort of a pity, for the girl really knew an awful +lot--but she couldn't express it." + +"That's just like me." + +"Ah, it's like a good many people." A silence ensued, and the freshmen +looked at one another dejectedly. "But you can live, even if you should +flunk math," Patty continued reassuringly. "Other people have done it +before you." + +"If it were only geometry--but we're scared over Latin." + +"Oh, Latin! There's no use studying for that, for you can't possibly +read it all over, and if you just pick out a part, it's sure not to be +the same part _they_ pick out. The best way is to say incantations over +the book, and open it with your eyes blindfolded, and study the page it +opens to; then, in case you don't pass,--and you probably won't,--you +can throw the blame on fate. My freshman year, if I remember right, they +gave us for prose composition one of Emerson's essays to translate into +Latin, and we couldn't even tell what it meant in English." + +The three looked at one another again. + +"I couldn't do anything like that." + +"Nor I." + +"Nor I." + +"Nor any one else," said Patty. + +"We can flunk Latin and math; but if we flunk any more we're gone." + +"I believe so," said Patty. + +"And I'm awfully shaky in German." + +"And I in French." + +"And I in Greek." + +"I don't know anything about German," said Patty. "Never had it myself. +But I remember hearing Priscilla say that the printed examination papers +didn't come but in time, and Fraeulein Scherin, who writes a frightful +hand, wrote the questions on the board in German script, and they +couldn't even read them. In French I believe the first question was to +write out the 'Marseillaise'; there are seven verses, and no one had +learned them, and the 'Marseillaise,' you know, is a thing that you +simply _can't_ make up on the spur of the moment. As for Greek, I told +you my own experience; I am sure nothing could be worse than that." + +The freshmen looked at one another hopelessly. "There's only English +and hygiene and Bible history left." + +"English is something you can't tell anything about," said Patty. +"They're as likely as not to ask you to write a heroic poem in iambic +pentameters, if you know what they are. You have to depend on +inspiration; you can't study for it." + +"I hope," sighed Lady Clara, "to get through hygiene and Bible history, +though, as they only count one hour apiece, I suppose it isn't much." + +"You mustn't be too sanguine," said Patty. "It all depends on chance. +The class in hygiene is so big that the professor hasn't time to read +the papers; he just goes down the list and flunks every thirteenth girl. +I'm not sure about Bible history, but I think he does the same, because +I know, freshman year, that I made a mistake and handed in my map of the +Holy Lands done in colored chalk to the hygiene professor, and my chart +of the digestive system to the Bible professor, and neither of them +noticed it. They did look a good deal alike, but not so much but what +you could tell them apart. All I have to say is that I hope none of you +will be number thirteen." + +The freshmen stared at one another in speechless horror, and Patty rose. +"Well, good-by, my children, and, above all things, don't worry. I'm +glad if I've been able to cheer you up a little, for so much depends on +not being nervous. Don't believe any of the silly stories the sophomores +tell," she called back over her shoulder; "they're just trying to +frighten you." + + + + +X + +"Per l'Italia" + + +College is a more or less selfish place. Everybody is so busy with her +own affairs that she has no time to give to her neighbor, unless her +neighbor has something to give in return. Olivia Copeland apparently had +nothing to give in return. She was quiet and inconspicuous, and it took +a second glance to realize that her face was striking and that there was +a look in her eyes that other freshmen did not have. By an unfelicitous +chance she was placed in the same study with Lady Clara Vere de Vere and +Emily Washburn. They thought her foreign and queer, and she thought them +crude and boisterous, and after the first week or two of politely trying +to get acquainted the effort was dropped on both sides. + +The year wore on, and nobody knew, or at least no one paid any attention +to the fact, that Olivia Copeland was homesick and unhappy. Her +room-mates thought that they had done their duty when they occasionally +asked her to play golf or go skating with them (an invitation they were +very safe in giving, as she knew how to do neither). Her instructors +thought that they had done their duty when they called her up to the +desk after class and warned her that her work was not as good as it had +been, and that if she wished to pass she must improve in it. + +The English class was the only one in which she was not warned; but she +had no means of knowing that her themes were handed about among the +different instructors and that she was referred to in the department as +"that remarkable Miss Copeland." The department had a theory that if +they let a girl know she was doing good work she would immediately stop +and rest upon her reputation; and Olivia, in consequence, did not +discover that she was remarkable. She merely discovered that she was +miserable and out of place, and she continued to drip tears of +homesickness before a sketch of an Italian villa that hung above her +desk. + +It was Patty Wyatt who first discovered her. Patty had dropped into the +freshmen's room one afternoon on some errand or other (probably to +borrow alcohol), and had idly picked up a pile of English themes that +were lying on the study table. + +"Whose are these? Do you care if I look at them?" she asked. + +"No; you can read them if you want to," said Lady Clara. "They're +Olivia's, but she won't mind." + +Patty carelessly turned the pages, and then, as a title caught her eye, +she suddenly looked up with a show of interest. "'The Coral-fishers of +Capri'! What on earth does Olivia Copeland know about the coral-fishers +of Capri?" + +"Oh, she lives somewhere near there--at Sorrento," said Lady Clara, +indifferently. + +"Olivia Copeland lives at Sorrento!" Patty stared. "Why didn't you tell +me?" + +"I supposed you knew it. Her father's an artist or something of the +sort. She's lived in Italy all her life; that's what makes her so +queer." + +Patty had once spent a sunshiny week in Sorrento herself, and the very +memory of it was intoxicating. "Where is she?" she asked excitedly. "I +want to talk to her." + +"I don't know where she is. Out walking, probably. She goes off walking +all by herself, and never speaks to any one, and then when we ask her to +do something rational, like golf or basket-ball, she pokes in the house +and reads Dante in Italian. Imagine!" + +"Why, she must be interesting!" said Patty, in surprise, and she turned +back to the themes. + +"I think these are splendid!" she exclaimed. + +"Sort of queer, I think," said Lady Clara. "But there's one that's +rather funny. It was read in class--about a peasant that lost his +donkey. I'll find it"; and she rummaged through the pile. + +Patty read it soberly, and Lady Clara watched her with a shade of +disappointment. + +"Don't you think it's pretty good?" she asked. + +"Yes; I think it's one of the best things I ever read." + +"You never even smiled!" + +"My dear child, it isn't funny." + +"Isn't funny! Why, the class simply roared over it." + +Patty shrugged. "Your appreciation must have gratified Olivia. And here +it's February, and I've barely spoken to her." + +The next afternoon Patty was strolling home from a recitation, when she +spied Olivia Copeland across the campus, headed for Pine Bluff and +evidently out for a solitary walk. + +"Olivia Copeland, wait a moment," Patty called. "Are you going for a +walk? May I come too?" she asked, as she panted up behind. + +Olivia assented with evident surprise, and Patty fell into step beside +her. "I just found out yesterday that you live in Sorrento, and I wanted +to talk to you. I was there myself once, and I think it's the most +glorious spot on earth." + +Olivia's eyes shone. "Really?" she gasped. "Oh, I'm so glad!" And before +she knew it she was telling Patty the story of how she had come to +college to please her father, and how she loved Italy and hated America; +and what she did not tell about her loneliness and homesickness Patty +divined. + +She realized that the girl _was_ remarkable, and she determined in the +future to take an interest in her and make her like college. But a +senior's life is busy and taken up with its own affairs, and for the +next week or two Patty saw little of the freshman beyond an occasional +chat in the corridors. + +One evening she and Priscilla had returned late from a dinner in town, +to be confronted by a dark room and an empty match-safe. + +"Wait a moment and I'll get some matches," said Patty; and she knocked +on a door across the corridor where a freshman lived with whom they had +a borrowing acquaintance. She found within her own freshman friends, +Lady Clara Vere de Vere and Emily Washburn. It was evident by the three +heads close together, and the hush that fell on the group as she +entered, that some momentous piece of gossip had been interrupted. Patty +forgot her room-mate waiting in the dark, and dropped into a chair with +the evident purpose of staying out the evening. + +"Tell me all about it, children," she said cordially. + +The freshmen looked at one another and hesitated. + +"A new president?" Patty suggested, "or just a class mutiny?" + +"It's about Olivia Copeland," Lady Clara returned dubiously; "but I +don't know that I ought to say anything." + +"Olivia Copeland?" Patty straightened up with a new interest in her +eyes. "What's Olivia Copeland been doing?" + +"She's been flunking and--" + +"Flunking!" Patty's face was blank. "But I thought she was so bright!" + +"Oh, she is bright; only, you know, she hasn't a way of making people +find it out; and, besides," Lady Clara added with meaning emphasis, "she +was scared over examinations." + +Patty cast a quick look at her. "What do you mean?" she asked. + +Lady Clara was fond of Patty, but she was only human, and she had been +frightened herself. "Well," she explained, "she had heard a lot of +stories from--er--upper-classmen about how hard the examinations are, +and the awful things they do to you if you don't pass, and being a +stranger, she believed them. Of course Emily and I knew better; but she +was just scared to death, and she went all to pieces, and--" + +"Nonsense!" said Patty, impatiently. "You can't make me believe that." + +"If it had been a sophomore that had tried to frighten us," pursued Lady +Clara, "we shouldn't have minded so much: but a senior!" + +"Now, Patty, aren't you sorry that you told us all those things?" asked +Emily. + +Patty laughed. "For the matter of that, I never say anything I'm not +sorry for half an hour later. I'm going to get out a book some day +entitled 'Things I Wish I Hadn't Said: A Collection of _Faux Pas_,' by +Patty Wyatt." + +"I think it's more than a _faux pas_ when you frighten a girl so she--" + +"I suppose you think you're rubbing it in," said Patty, imperturbably; +"but girls don't flunk because they're frightened: they flunk because +they don't know." + +"Olivia knew five times as much geometry as I did, and I got through and +she didn't." + +Patty examined the carpet in silence. + +"She thinks she's going to be dropped, and she's just crying terribly," +pursued Emily, with a certain relish in the details. + +"Crying!" said Patty, sharply. "What's she crying for?" + +"Because she feels bad, I suppose. She'd been out walking, and got +caught in the rain, and she didn't get back in time for dinner, and then +found those notes waiting for her. She's up there lying on the bed, and +she's got hysterics or Roman fever or something like that. She told us +to go away and let her alone. She's awfully cross all of a sudden." + +Patty rose. "I think I'll go and cheer her up." + +"Let her alone, Patty," said Emily. "I know the way you cheer people up. +If you hadn't cheered her up before examinations she wouldn't have +flunked." + +"I didn't know anything about her then," said Patty, a trifle sulkily; +"and, anyway," she added as she opened the door, "I didn't say anything +that affected her passing, one way or the other." She turned toward +Olivia's room, however, with a conscience that was not quite +comfortable. She could not remember just what she _had_ told those +freshmen about examinations, but she had an uneasy feeling that it +might not have been of a reassuring nature. + +"I wish I could ever learn when it is time for joking and when it is +not," she said to herself as she knocked on the study door. + +No one answered, and she turned the knob and entered. A stifled sob came +from one of the bedrooms, and Patty hesitated. + +She was not in the habit of crying herself, and she always felt +uncomfortable when other people did it. Something must be done, however, +and she advanced to the threshold and silently regarded Olivia, who was +stretched face downward on the bed. At the sound of Patty's step she +raised her head and cast a startled glance at the intruder, and then +buried her face in the pillows again. Patty scribbled an "engaged" sign +and pinned it on the study door, and drawing up a chair beside the bed, +she sat down with the air of a physician about to make a diagnosis. + +"Well, Olivia," she began in a business-like tone, "what is the +trouble?" + +Olivia opened her hands and disclosed some crumpled papers. Patty spread +them out and hastily ran her eyes over the official printed slips: + + Miss _Copeland_ is hereby informed that she has + been found deficient in _German_ (_three_ hours). + + + Miss _Copeland_ is hereby informed that she has + been found deficient in _Latin prose_ (_one_ + hour). + + + Miss _Copeland_ is hereby informed that she has + been found deficient in _geometry_ (_four_ hours). + +Patty performed a rapid calculation,--"three and one are four and four +are eight,"--and knit her brows. + +"Will they send me home, Patty?" + +"Mercy, no, child; I hope not. A person who's done as good work as you +in English ought to have the right to flunk every other blessed thing, +if she wants to." + +"But you're dropped if you flunk eight hours; you told me so yourself." + +"Don't believe anything I told you," said Patty, reassuringly. "I don't +know what I'm talking about more than half the time." + +"I'd hate to be sent back, and have my father know I'd failed, when he +spent so much time preparing me; but"--Olivia began to cry again--"I +want to go back so much that I don't believe I care." + +"You don't know what you're talking about," said Patty. She put her hand +on the girl's shoulder. "Mercy, child, you're sopping wet, and you're +shivering! Sit up and take those shoes off." + +Olivia sat up and pulled at the laces with ineffectual fingers, and +Patty jerked them open and dumped the shoes in a squashy heap on the +floor. + +"Do you know what's the matter with you?" she asked. "You're not crying +because you've flunked. You're crying because you've caught cold, and +you're tired and wet and hungry. You take those wet clothes off this +minute and get into a warm bath-robe, and I'll get you some dinner." + +"I don't want any dinner," wailed Olivia, and she showed signs of +turning back to the pillows again. + +"Don't act like a baby, Olivia," said Patty, sharply; "sit up and be +a--a man." + +Ten minutes later Patty returned from a successful looting expedition, +and deposited her spoils on the bedroom table. Olivia sat on the edge of +the bed and watched her apathetically, a picture of shivering +despondency. + +"Drink this," commanded Patty, as she extended a steaming glass. + +Olivia obediently raised it to her lips, and drew back. "What's in it?" +she asked faintly. + +"Everything I could find that's hot--quinine and whisky and Jamaica +ginger and cough syrup and a dash of red pepper, and--one or two other +things. It's my own idea. You can't take cold after _that_." + +"I--I don't believe I want any." + +"Drink it--every drop," said Patty, grimly; and Olivia shut her eyes and +gulped it down. + +"Now," said Patty, cheerfully bustling about, "I'll get dinner. Have you +a can-opener? And any alcohol, by chance? That's nice. We'll have three +courses,--canned soup, canned baked beans, and preserved ginger,--all of +them hot. It's mighty lucky Georgie Merriles was in New York or she'd +never have lent them to me." + +Olivia, to her own astonishment, presently found herself laughing (she +had thought that she would never smile again) as she sipped mulligatawny +soup from a tooth-mug and balanced a pin-trayful of steaming baked beans +on her knee. + +"And now," said Patty, as, the three courses disposed of, she tucked the +freshman into bed, "we'll map out a campaign. While eight hours are +pretty serious, they are not of necessity deadly. What made you flunk +Latin prose?" + +"I never had any before I came, and when I told Miss--" + +"Certainly; she thought it her duty to flunk you. You shouldn't have +mentioned the subject. But never mind. It's only one hour, and it won't +take you a minute to work it off. How about German?" + +"German's a little hard because it's so different from Italian and +French, you know; and I'm sort of frightened when she calls on me, +and--" + +"Pretty stupid, on the whole?" Patty suggested. + +"I'm afraid I am," she confessed. + +"Well, I dare say you deserved to flunk in that. You can tutor it up and +pass it off in the spring. How about geometry?" + +"I thought I knew that, only she didn't ask what I expected and--" + +"An unfortunate circumstance, but it will happen. Could you review it up +a little and take a reexamination right away?" + +"Yes; I'm sure I could, only they won't give me another chance. They'll +send me home first." + +"Who's your instructor?" + +"Miss Prescott." + +Patty frowned, and then she laughed. "I thought if it were Miss Hawley +I could go to her and explain the matter and ask her to give you a +reexamination. Miss Hawley's occasionally human. But Miss Prescott! No +wonder you flunked. I'm afraid of her myself. She's the only woman that +ever got a degree at some German university, and she simply hasn't a +thought in the world beyond mathematics. I don't believe the woman has +any soul. If one of those mediums should come here and dematerialize +her, all that would be left would be an equilateral triangle." + +Patty shook her head. "I'm afraid there's not much use in arguing with a +person like that. If she once sees a truth, you know, she sees it for +all time. But never mind; I'll do the best I can. I'll tell her you're +an undiscovered mathematical genius; that it's latent, but if she'll +examine you again she'll find it. That ought to appeal to her. +Good-night. Go to sleep and don't worry; I'll manage her." + +"Good night; and thank you, Patty," called a tolerably cheerful voice +from under the covers. + +Patty closed the door, and stood a moment in the hall, pondering the +situation. Olivia Copeland was too valuable to throw away. The college +must be made to realize her worth. But that was difficult. Patty had +tried to make the college realize things before. Miss Prescott was the +only means of salvation that she could think of, and Miss Prescott was a +doubtful means. She did not at all relish the prospect of calling on +her, but there seemed to be nothing else to do. She made a little +grimace and laughed. "I'm acting like a freshman myself," she thought. +"Walk up, Patty, and face the guns"; and without giving herself time to +hesitate she marched up-stairs and knocked on Miss Prescott's door. She +reflected after she had knocked that perhaps it would have been more +politic to have postponed her business until the morrow. But the door +opened before she had time to run away, and she found herself rather +confusedly bowing to Miss Prescott, who held in her hand, not a book on +calculus, but a common, every-day magazine. + +"Good evening, Miss Wyatt. Won't you come in and sit down?" said Miss +Prescott, in a very cordially human tone. + +As she sank into a deep rush chair Patty had a blurred vision of low +bookcases, pictures, rugs, and polished brass thrown into soft relief by +a shaded lamp which stood on the table. Before she had time to mentally +shake herself and reconstruct her ideas she was gaily chatting to Miss +Prescott about the probable outcome of a serial story in the magazine. + +Miss Prescott did not seem to wonder in the least at this unusual visit, +but talked along easily on various subjects, and laughed and told +stories like the humanest of human beings. Patty watched her, +fascinated. "She's _pretty_," she thought to herself and she began to +wonder how old she was. Never before had she associated any age whatever +with Miss Prescott. She had regarded her much in the same light as a +scientific truth, which exists, but is quite irrespective of time or +place. She tried to recall some story that had been handed about among +the girls her freshman year. She remembered vaguely that it had in it +the suggestion that Miss Prescott had once been in love. At the time +Patty had scoffingly repudiated the idea, but now she was half willing +to believe it. + +Suddenly, in the midst of the conversation, the ten-o'clock bell rang, +and Patty recalled her errand with a start. + +"I suppose," she said, "you are wondering why I came." + +"I was hoping," said Miss Prescott, with a smile, "that it was just to +see me, without any ulterior motive." + +"It will be the next time--if you will let me come again; but to-night I +had another reason, which I'm afraid you'll think impertinent--and," she +added frankly, "I don't know just what's the best way to tell it so that +you _won't_ think it impertinent." + +"Tell it to me any way you please, and I will try not to think so," +said Miss Prescott, kindly. + +"Don't you think sometimes the girls can tell more of one another's +ability than the instructors?" Patty asked. "I know a girl," she +continued, "a freshman, who is, in some ways, the most remarkable person +I have ever met. Of course I can't be sure, but I should say that she is +going to be very good in English some day--so good, you know, that the +college will be proud of her. Well, this girl has flunked such a lot +that I am afraid she is in danger of being sent home, and the college +simply can't afford to lose her. I don't know anything about your rules, +of course, but what seems to me the easiest way is for you to give her +another examination in geometry immediately,--she really knows it,--and +then tell the faculty about her and urge them to give her another +trial." + +Patty brought out this astounding request in the most matter-of-fact way +possible, and the corners of Miss Prescott's mouth twitched as she +asked: "Of whom are you speaking?" + +"Olivia Copeland." + +Miss Prescott's mouth grew firm, and she looked like the instructor in +mathematics again. + +"Miss Copeland did absolutely nothing on her examination, Miss Wyatt, +and what little she has recited during the year does not betoken any +unusual ability. I am sorry, but it would be impossible." + +"But, Miss Prescott," Patty expostulated, "the girl has worked under +such peculiar disadvantages. She's an American, but she lives abroad, +and all our ways are new to her. She has never been to school a day in +her life. Her father prepared her for college, and, of course, not in +the same way that the other girls have been prepared. She is shy, and +not being used to reciting in a class, she doesn't know how to show off. +I am sure, Miss Prescott, that if you would take her and examine her +yourself, you would find that she understands the work--that is, if you +would let her get over being afraid of you first. I know you're busy, +and it's asking a good deal," Patty finished apologetically. + +"It is not that, Miss Wyatt, for of course I do not wish to mark any +student unjustly; but I cannot help feeling that you have overestimated +Miss Copeland's ability. She has really had a chance to show what is in +her, and if she has failed in as many courses as you say--The college, +you know, must keep up the standard of its work, and in questions like +this it is not always possible to consider the individual." + +Patty felt that she was being dismissed, and she groped about wildly for +a new plea. Her eye caught a framed picture of the old monastery of +Amalfi hanging over the bookcase. + +"Perhaps you've lived in Italy?" she asked. + +Miss Prescott started slightly. "No," she said; "but I've spent some +time there." + +"That picture of Amalfi, up there, made me think of it. Olivia Copeland, +you know, lives near there, at Sorrento." + +A gleam of interest flashed into Miss Prescott's eye. + +"That's how I first came to notice her," continued Patty; "but she +didn't interest me so much until I talked to her. It seems that her +father is an artist, and she was born in Italy, and has only visited +America once when she was a little girl. Her mother is dead, and she and +her father live in an old villa on that road along the coast leading to +Sorrento. She has never had any girl friends; just her father's +friends--artists and diplomats and people like that. She speaks Italian, +and she knows all about Italian art and politics and the church and the +agrarian laws and how the people are taxed; and all the peasants around +Sorrento are her friends. She is so homesick that she nearly dies, and +the only person here that she can talk to about the things she is +interested in is the peanut man down-town. + +[Illustration: Olivia Copeland] + +"The girls she rooms with are just nice exuberant American girls, and +are interested in golf and basket-ball and Welsh rabbit and Richard +Harding Davis stories and Gibson pictures--and she never even _heard_ of +any of them until four months ago. She has a water-color sketch of the +villa, that her father did. It's white stucco, you know, with terraces +and marble balustrades and broken statues, and a grove of ilex-trees +with a fountain in the center. Just think of _belonging_ to a place like +that, Miss Prescott, and then being suddenly plunged into a place like +this without any friends or any one who even knows about the things you +know--think how lonely you would be!" + +Patty leaned forward with flushed cheeks, carried away by her own +eloquence. "You know what Italy's like. It's a sort of disease. If you +once get fond of it you'll never forget it, and you just can't be happy +till you get back. And with Olivia it's her home, besides. She's never +known anything else. And it's hard at first to keep your mind on +mathematics when you're dreaming all the time of ilex groves and +fountains and nightingales and--and things like that." + +She finished lamely, for Miss Prescott suddenly leaned back in the +shadow, and it seemed to Patty that her face had grown pale and the hand +that held the magazine trembled. + +Patty flushed uncomfortably and tried to think what she had said. She +was always saying things that hurt people's feelings without meaning to. +Suddenly that old story from her freshman year flashed into her mind. He +had been an artist and had lived in Italy and had died of Roman fever; +and Miss Prescott had gone to Germany to study mathematics, and had +never cared for anything else since. It sounded rather made up, but it +might be true. Had she stumbled on a forbidden subject? she wondered +miserably. She had, of course; it was just her way. + +The silence was becoming unbearable; she struggled to think of something +to say, but nothing came, and she rose abruptly. + +"I'm sorry to have taken so much of your time, Miss Prescott. I hope I +haven't bored you. Good night." + +Miss Prescott rose and took Patty's hand. "Good night, my dear, and +thank you for coming to me. I am glad to know of Olivia Copeland. I will +see what can be done about her geometry, and I shall be glad, besides, +to know her as--as a friend; for I, too, once cared for Italy." + +Patty closed the door softly and tiptoed home through the dim corridors. + +"Did you bring the matches?" called a sleepy voice from Priscilla's +bedroom. + +Patty started. "Oh, the matches!" she laughed. "No; I forgot them." + +"I never knew you to accomplish anything yet that you started out to do, +Patty Wyatt." + +"I've accomplished something to-night, just the same," Patty retorted, +with a little note of triumph in her voice; "but I haven't an idea how +I happened to do it," she added frankly to herself. + +And she went to bed and fell asleep, quite unaware of how much she _had_ +accomplished; for unconsciously she had laid the foundation of a +friendship which was to make happy the future of a lonely freshman and +an equally lonely instructor. + + + + +XI + +"Local Color" + + +The third senior table had discovered a new amusement with which to +enlighten the tedium of waiting while Maggie was in the kitchen foraging +for food. The game was called "local color," in honor of Patty Wyatt's +famous definition in English class, "Local color is that which makes a +lie seem truthful." The object of the game was to see who could tell the +biggest lie without being found out; and the one rule required that the +victims be disillusionized before they left the table. + +Patty was the instigator, the champion player, and the final victim of +the game. Baron Muenchhausen himself would have blushed at some of her +creations, and her stories were told with such an air of ingenuous +honesty that the most outrageous among them obtained credence. + +The game in its original conception may have been innocent enough, but +the rule was not always as carefully observed as it should have been, +and the most unaccountable scandals began to float about college. The +president of "Christians" had been called up for cutting chapel. The +shark of the class had flunked her ethics, and even failed to get +through on the "re." Cathy Fair was an own cousin of Professor +Hitchcock's, and called him "Tommy" to his face. These, and far worse, +were becoming public property; and even personal fabrications in regard +to the faculty, intended solely for undergraduate consumption, were +reaching the ears of the faculty themselves. + +One day Patty dropped into an under-classman's room on some committee +work, and she found the children, in the manner of their elders, +regaling themselves on dainty bits of college gossip. + +"I heard the funniest thing about Professor Winters yesterday," piped +up a sophomore. + +"Tell it to us. What was it?" cried a chorus of voices. + +"I'd like to hear something funny about Professor Winters; he's the +solemnest-looking man I ever saw," remarked a freshman. + +"Well," resumed the sophomore, "it seems he was going to get married +last week, and the invitations were all out, and the presents all there, +when the bride came down with the mumps." + +"Really? How funny!" came in a chorus from the delighted auditors. + +"Yes--on both sides; and the clergyman had never had it, so the ceremony +had to be postponed." + +Patty's blood froze. She recognized the tale. It was one of her own +offspring, only shorn of its unessential adornments. + +"Where in the world did you hear any such absurd thing as that?" she +demanded severely. + +"I heard Lucille Carter tell it at a fudge party up in Bonnie +Connaught's room last night," answered the sophomore, stoutly, sure that +the source was a reputable one. + +Patty groaned. "And I suppose that every blessed one of that dozen girls +has told it to another dozen by this time, and that it's only bounded by +the boundaries of the campus. Well, there's not a word of truth in it. +Lucille Carter doesn't know what she is talking about. That's a likely +story, isn't it?" she added with fine scorn. "Does Professor Winters +look like a man who'd ever dare propose to a girl, let alone marry her?" +And she stalked out of the room and up to the single where Lucille +lived. + +"Lucille," said Patty, "what do you mean by spreading that story about +Professor Winters's bride's mumps?" + +"You told it to me yourself," answered Lucille, with some warmth. She +was a believing creature with an essentially literal mind, and she had +always been out of her element in the lofty imaginative realms of local +color. + +"I told it to you!" said Patty, indignantly. "You goose, you don't mean +to tell me you believed it? I was just playing local color." + +"How should I know that? You told it as if it were true." + +"Of course," said Patty; "that's the game. You wouldn't have believed me +if I hadn't." + +"But you never said it wasn't true. You don't follow the rule." + +"I didn't think it was necessary. I never supposed any one would believe +any such absurd story as that." + +"I don't see how it was my fault." + +"Of course it was your fault. You shouldn't be spreading malicious tales +about the faculty; it's irreverent. The story's all over college by this +time, and Professor Winters has probably heard it himself. He'll flunk +you on the finals to pay for it; see if he doesn't." And Patty went +home, leaving a conscience-smitten and thoroughly indignant Lucille +behind her. + + * * * * * + +ABOUT a month before the introduction of local color, Patty had entered +upon a new activity, which she referred to impartially as "molding +public opinion" and "elevating the press." The way of it was this: + +The college, which was a modest and retiring institution craving only to +be unmolested in its atmosphere of academic calm, had been recently +exploited by a sensational newspaper. The fact that none of the stories +was true did not mitigate the annoyance. The college was besieged by +reporters who had heard rumors and wished to have them corroborated for +exclusive publication in the "Censor" or "Advertiser" or "Star." And +they would also like a photograph of Miss Bentley as she appeared in the +character of Portia; and since she refused to give it to them, they +stated their intention of "faking" one, which, they gallantly assured +her, would be far homelier than the original. + +The climax was reached when Bonnie Connaught was unfortunate enough to +sprain her ankle in basket-ball. Something more than a life-size +portrait of her, clothed in a masculine-looking sweater, with a +basket-ball under her arm, appeared in a New York evening paper, and +scare-heads three inches high announced in red ink that the champion +athlete and most popular society girl in college was at death's door, +owing to injuries received in basket-ball. + +Bonnie's eminently respectable family descended upon the college in an +indignant body for the purpose of taking her home, and were with +difficulty soothed by an equally indignant faculty. The alumnae wrote +that in their day such brutal games as basket-ball had not been +countenanced, and that they feared the college had deteriorated. Parents +wrote that they would remove their daughters from college if they were +to be subjected to such publicity; and the poor president was, of +course, quite helpless before the glorious American privilege of free +speech. + +Finally the college hit upon a partially protective measure--that of +furnishing its own news; and a regularly organized newspaper corps was +formed among the students, with a member of the faculty at the head. The +more respectable of the papers were very glad to have a correspondent +from the inside whose facts needed no investigation, and the less +respectable in due time betook themselves to more fruitful fields of +scandal and happily forgot the existence of the college. + +Patty, having the reputation of being an "English shark," had been duly +empaneled and presented with a local paper. At first she had been filled +with a fit sense of the responsibility of the position, and had +conscientiously neglected her college work for its sake; but in time the +novelty wore off, and her weekly budgets became more and more +perfunctory in character. + +The choice of Patty for this particular paper perhaps had not been very +far-sighted, for the editor wished a column a week of what he designated +as "chatty news," whereas it would have been wiser to have given her a +city paper which required only a brief statement of important facts. +Patty's own tendencies, it must be confessed, had a slightly yellow +tinge, and, with a delighted editor egging her on, it was hard for her +to suppress her latent love for "local color." The paper, however, had a +wide circulation among the faculty, which circumstance tended to have a +chastening effect. + +The day following Patty's bride-with-the-mumps contretemps with Lucille +happened to be Friday, and she was painfully engaged in her weekly +molding of public opinion. It had been a barren week, and there was +nothing to write about. + +She reviewed at length a set of French encyclopedias which had been +given to the library, and spoke with enthusiasm of a remarkable +collection of jaw-bones of the prehistoric cow which had been presented +to the department of paleontology. She gave in full the list of the +seventeen girls who had been honored with scholarships, laboriously +writing out their full names, with "Miss" attached to each, and the name +of the town and the State in its unabbreviated length. And still it only +mounted up to ten pages, and it took eighteen of Patty's writing to make +a column. + +She strolled down to examine the bulletin-board again, and discovered a +new notice which she had overlooked before: + + Friday, January 17. Professor James Harkner Wallis + of the Lick Observatory will lecture in the + auditorium, at eight o'clock, upon "Theories of + the Sidereal System." + +Patty regarded the notice without emotion. It did not look capable of +expansion, and she did not feel the remotest interest in the sidereal +system. The brief account of the lecturer, however, which was appended +to the notice, stated that Professor Wallis was one of the best known of +living astronomers, and that he had conducted important original +investigations. + +"If I knew anything about astronomy," she thought desperately, "I might +be able to spread him out over two pages." + +An acquaintance of Patty's strolled up to the bulletin-board. + +"Did you ever hear of that man?" asked Patty, pointing to the notice. + +"Never; but I'm not an astronomer." + +"I'm not, either," said Patty. "I wonder who he is?" she added +wistfully. "It seems he's very famous, and I'd really like to know +something about him." + +The girl opened her eyes in some surprise at this thirst for gratuitous +information; it did not accord with Patty's reputation: and ever after, +when it was affirmed in her presence that Patty Wyatt was brilliant but +superficial, she stoutly maintained that Patty was deeper than people +thought. She pondered a moment, and then returned, "Lucille Carter takes +astronomy; she could tell you about him." + +"So she does. I'd forgotten it"; and Patty swung off toward Lucille's +room. + +She found a number of girls sitting around on the various pieces of +furniture, eating fudge and discussing the tragedies of one Maeterlinck. + +"What's this?" said Patty. "A party?" + +"Oh, no," said Lucille; "just an extra session of the Dramatic Theory +class. Don't be afraid; there's your room-mate up on the window-seat." + +"Hello, Pris. What are you doing here?" said Patty, dipping out some +fudge with a spoon. (There had been a disagreement as to how long it +should boil.) + +"Just paying a social call. What are you doing? I thought you were going +to hurry up and get through so you could go down-town to dinner." + +"I am," said Patty, vaguely; "but I got lonely." + +The conversation drifting off to Maeterlinck again, she seized the +opportunity to inquire of Lucille: "Who's this astronomy man that's +going to lecture to-night? He's quite famous, isn't he?" + +"Very," said Lucille. "Professor Phelps has been talking about him every +day for the last week." + +"Where's the Lick Observatory, anyway?" pursued Patty. "I can't +remember, for the life of me, whether it's in California or on Pike's +Peak." + +Lucille considered a moment. "It's in Dublin, Ireland." + +"Dublin, Ireland?" asked Patty, in some surprise. "I could have sworn +that it was in California. Are you sure you know where it is, Lucille?" + +"Of course I'm sure. Haven't we been having it for three days steady? +California! You must be crazy, Patty. I think you'd better elect +astronomy." + +"I know it," said Patty, meekly. "I was going to, but I heard that it +was terribly hard, and I thought senior year you have a right to take +something a little easy. But, you know, that's the funniest thing about +the Lick Observatory, for I really know a lot about it--read an article +on it just a little while ago; and I don't know how I got the +impression, but I was almost sure it was in the United States. It just +shows that you can never be sure of anything." + +"No," said Lucille; "it isn't safe." + +"Is it connected with Dublin University?" asked Patty. + +"I believe so," said Lucille. + +"And this astronomy person," continued Patty, warming to her work--"I +suppose he's an Irishman, then." + +"Of course," said Lucille. "He's very noted." + +"What's he done?" asked Patty. "It said on the bulletin-board he'd made +some important discoveries. I suppose, though, they're frightful +technicalities that no one ever heard of." + +"Well," said Lucille, considering, "he discovered the rings of Saturn +and the Milky Way." + +"The rings of Saturn! Why, I thought those had been discovered _ages_ +ago. He must be a terribly old man. I remember reading about them when +I was an infant in arms." + +"It was a good while ago," said Lucille. "Eight or nine years, at +least." + +"And the Milky Way!" continued Patty, with a show of incredulity. "I +don't see how people could have helped discovering that long ago. I +could have done it myself, and I don't pretend to know anything about +astronomy." + +"Oh, of course," Lucille hastened to explain, "the phenomenon had been +observed before, but had never been accounted for." + +"I see," said Patty, surreptitiously taking notes. "He must really be an +awfully important man. How did he happen to do all this?" + +"He went up in a balloon," said Lucille, vaguely. + +"A balloon! What fun!" exclaimed Patty, her reportorial instinct waking +to the scent. "They use balloons a lot more in Europe than they do +here." + +"I believe he has his balloon with him here in America," said Lucille. +"He never travels without it." + +"What's the good of it?" inquired Patty. "I suppose," she continued, +furnishing her own explanation, "it gets him such a lot nearer to the +stars." + +"That's without doubt the reason," said Lucille. + +"I wish he'd send it up here," sighed Patty. "Do you know any more +interesting details about him?" + +"N--no," said Lucille; "I can't think of any more at present." + +"He's certainly the most interesting professor I ever heard of," said +Patty, "and it's strange I never heard of him before." + +"There seem to be a good many things you have never heard of," observed +Lucille. + +"Yes," acknowledged Patty; "there are." + +"Well, Patty," said Priscilla, emerging from the discussion on the other +side of the room, "if you're going to dinner with me, you'd better stop +fooling with Lucille, and go home and get your work done." + +"Very well," said Patty, rising with obliging promptitude. "Good-by, +girls. Come and see me and I'll give you some fudge that's done. Thank +you for the information," she called back to Lucille. + + * * * * * + +THE Monday afternoon following, Patty and Priscilla, with two or three +other girls, came strolling back from the lake, jingling their skates +over their arms. + +"Come in, girls, and have some hot tea," said Priscilla, as they reached +the study door. + +"Here's a note for Patty," said Bonnie Connaught, picking up an envelop +from the table. "Terribly official-looking. Must have come in the +college mail. Open it, Patty, and let's see what you've flunked." + +"Dear me!" said Patty, "I thought that was a habit I'd outgrown freshman +year." + +They crowded around and read the note over her shoulder. Patty had no +secrets. + + THE OBSERVATORY, January 20. + Miss Patty Wyatt. + + DEAR MISS WYATT: I am informed that you are the + correspondent for the "Saturday Evening + Post-Despatch," and I take the liberty of calling + your attention to a rather grave error which + occurred in last week's issue. You stated that the + Lick Observatory is in Dublin, Ireland, while, as + is a matter of general information, it is situated + near San Francisco, California. Professor James + Harkner Wallis is not an Irishman; he is an + American. Though he has carried on some very + important investigations, he is the discoverer of + neither the rings of Saturn nor the Milky Way. + + Very truly yours, + HOWARD D. PHELPS. + +"It's from Professor Phelps--what can he mean?" said the Twin, in +bewilderment. + +"Oh, Patty," groaned Priscilla, "you don't mean to say that you actually +believed all that stuff?" + +"Of course I believed it. How could I know she was lying?" + +"She wasn't lying. Don't use such reckless language." + +"I'd like to know what you call it, then?" said Patty, angrily. + +"Local color, my dear, just local color. The worm will turn, you know." + +"Why didn't you tell me?" wailed Patty. + +"Never supposed for a moment you believed her. Thought you were joking +all the time." + +"What's the matter, Patty? What have you done?" the others demanded, +divided between a pardonable feeling of curiosity and a sense that they +ought to retire before this domestic tragedy. + +"Oh, tell them," said Patty, bitterly. "Tell every one you see. Shout it +from the dome of the observatory. You might as well; it'll be all over +college in a couple of hours." + +Priscilla explained, and as she explained the funny side began to strike +her. By the time she had finished they were all--except Patty--reduced +to hysterics. + +"The poor editor," gurgled Priscilla. "He's always after a scoop, and +he's certainly got one this time." + +"Where is it, Patty--the paper?" gasped Bonnie. + +"I threw it away," said Patty, sulkily. + +Priscilla rummaged it out of the waste-basket, and the four bent over it +delightedly. + + Ireland's eminent astronomer spending a few weeks + in America lecturing at the principal + colleges--His famous discovery of the rings of + Saturn made during a balloon ascension three + thousand feet in the air--Though this is his first + visit to the States, he speaks with only a slight + brogue--Loyal son of old Erin + +"Patty, Patty! And you, of all people, to be so gullible!" + +"Professor James Harkner Wallis's parents will be writing to Prexy next +to say that their son can't lecture here any more if he is to be +subjected to this sort of thing." + +"It's disgusting!" said Bonnie Connaught, feelingly. + +"When you've got through laughing, I wish you'd tell me what to do." + +"Tell Professor Phelps it was a slip of the pen." + +"A slip of the pen to the extent of half a column is good," said the +Twin. + +"I think you girls are beastly to laugh when I am probably being +expelled this minute." + +"Faculty meeting doesn't come till four," said Bonnie. + +Patty sat down by the desk and buried her head in her arms. + +"Patty," said Priscilla, "you aren't crying, are you?" + +"No," said Patty, savagely; "I'm thinking." + +"You will never think of anything that will explain that." + +Patty looked up with the air of one who has received an inspiration. +"I'm going to tell him the truth." + +"Don't do anything so rash," pleaded the Twin. + +"That is, of course, the only thing you can do," said Priscilla. "Sit +down and write him a note, and I'll promise not to laugh till you get +through." + +Patty stood up. "I think," she said, "I'll go and see him." + +"Oh, no. Write him a note. It's loads easier." + +"No," said Patty, with dignity; "I think I owe him a personal +explanation. Is my hair all right? If you girls reveal this to a single +person before I come back, I'll not tell you a thing he says," she added +as she closed the door. + +Patty returned half an hour later, just as they were finally settling +down to tea. She peered around the darkening room; finding only four +expectant faces, she leisurely seated herself on a cushion on the floor +and stretched out her hand for a steaming cup. + +"What did he say? What kept you so long?" + +"Oh, I stopped in the office to change my electives, and it delayed me." + +"You don't mean to tell me that man made you elect astronomy?" +Priscilla asked indignantly. + +"Certainly not," said Patty. "I shouldn't have done it if he had." + +"Oh, Patty, I know you like to tease, but I think it's odious. You know +we're in suspense. Tell us what happened." + +"Well," said Patty, placidly gathering her skirts about her, "I told him +exactly how it was. I didn't hide anything--not even the bride with the +mumps." + +"Was he cross, or did he laugh?" + +"He laughed," said Patty, "till I thought he was going to fall off his +chair, and I looked anxiously around for some water and a call-bell. He +really has a surprising sense of humor for a member of the faculty." + +"Was he nice?" + +"Yes," said Patty; "he was a dear. When he got through discussing +Universal Truth, I asked him if I might elect astronomy, and he said I +would find it pretty hard the second semester; but I told him I was +willing to work, and he said I really showed a remarkable aptitude for +explaining phenomena, and that if I were in earnest he would be glad to +have me in the class." + +"I think a man as forgiving as that _ought_ to be elected," said +Priscilla. + +"You certainly have more courage than I gave you credit for," said +Bonnie. "I never could have gone over and explained to that man in the +wide world." + +Patty smiled discreetly. "When you have to explain to a woman," she said +in the tone of one who is stating a natural law, "it is better to write +a note; but when it is a man, always explain in person." + + + + +XII + +The Exigencies of Etiquette + + +"If I had been the one to invent etiquette," said Patty, "I should have +made party calls payable one year after date, and then should have +allowed three days' grace at the end." + +"In which case," said Priscilla, "I suppose you would get out of calling +on Mrs. Millard altogether." + +"Exactly," said Patty. + +Mrs. Millard--more familiarly referred to as Mrs. Prexy--annually +invited the seniors to dinner in parties of ten. Patty, whose turn had +come a short time before, owing to an untoward misfortune, had been in +the infirmary at the time; but, though she had missed the fun, she now +found it necessary to pay the call. + +"Of course," she resumed, "I can see why you should be expected to call +if you attend the function and partake of the food; but what I _can't_ +understand is why a peaceable citizen who desires only to gang his ain +gait should, upon the reception of an entirely unsolicited invitation, +suddenly find it incumbent upon him to put on his best dress and his +best hat and gloves in order to call upon people he barely knows." + +"Your genders," said Priscilla, "are a trifle mixed." + +"That," said Patty, "is the fault of the language. The logic, I think, +you will find correct. You can see what would happen," she pursued, "if +you carry it out to its logical conclusion. Suppose, for instance, that +every woman I have ever met in this town should suddenly take it into +her head to invite me to a dinner. Here I--perfectly unsuspicious and +innocent of any evil, because of a purely arbitrary law which I did not +help to make--would not only have to sit down and write a hundred +regrets, but would have to pay a hundred calls within the next two +weeks. It makes me shudder to think of it!" + +"I don't believe you need worry about it, Patty; of course we know +you're popular, but you're not as popular as that." + +"No," said Patty; "I didn't mean that I thought I really _should_ get +that many invitations. It's only that one is open to the constant +danger." + +During the progress of this conversation Georgie Merriles had been +lounging on the couch by the window, reading the "Merchant of Venice" in +a critically unimpassioned way that the instructor in Dramatic Theory +could not have praised too much. The room finally having become too dark +for reading, she threw down the book with something like a yawn. "It +would have been a joke on Portia," she remarked, "if Bassanio had chosen +the wrong casket"; and she turned her attention to the campus outside. +Groups of girls were coming along the path from the lake, and the sound +of their voices, mingled with laughter and the jingling of skates, +floated up through the gathering dusk. Across the stretches of snow and +bare trees lights were beginning to twinkle in the other dormitories, +while nearer at hand, and more clearly visible, rose the irregular +outline of the president's house. + +"Patty," said Georgie, with her nose against the pane, "if you really +want to get that call out of the way, now's your chance. Mrs. Millard +has just gone out." + +Patty dashed into her bedroom and began jerking out bureau drawers. +"Priscilla," she called in an agonized tone, "do you remember where I +keep my cards?" + +"It's ten minutes of six, Patty; you can't go now." + +"Yes, I can. It doesn't matter what time it is, so long as she's out. +I'll go just as I am." + +"Not in a golf-cape!" + +Patty hesitated an instant. "Well," she admitted, "I suppose the butler +might tell her. I'll put on a hat"--this with the air of one who is +making a really great concession. Some more banging of bureau drawers, +and she appeared in a black velvet hat trimmed with lace, with the brown +jacket of her suit over her red blouse, and a blue golf-skirt and very +muddy boots showing below. + +"Patty, you're a disgrace to the room!" cried Priscilla. "Do you mean to +tell me that you are going to Mrs. Millard's in a short skirt and those +awful skating-shoes?" + +"The butler won't look at my feet; I'm so beautiful above"; and Patty +banged the door behind her. + +Georgie and Priscilla flattened themselves against the window to watch +the progress of the call. + +"Look," gasped Priscilla. "There's Mrs. Millard going in at the back +door." + +"And there's Patty. My, but she looks funny!" + +"Call her back," cried Priscilla, wildly trying to open the window. + +"Let her alone," laughed Georgie; "it will be such fun to gloat over +her." + +The window came up with a jerk. "Patty! Patty!" shrieked Priscilla. + +Patty turned and waved her hand airily. "Can't stop now--will be back in +a moment"; and she sped on around the corner. + +The two stood watching the house for several minutes, vaguely expecting +an explosion of some sort to occur. But nothing happened. Patty was +swallowed as if by the grave, and the house gave no sign. They +accordingly shrugged their shoulders and dressed for dinner with the +philosophy which a life fraught with alarms and surprises gives. + + * * * * * + +DINNER was half over, and the table had finished discussing Patty's +demise, when that young lady trailed placidly in, smiled on the +expectant faces, and inquired what kind of soup they had had. + +"Bean soup; it wasn't any good," said Georgie, impatiently. "What +happened? Did you have a nice call?" + +"No, Maggie, I don't care for any soup to-night. Just bring me some +steak, please." + +"Patty!" in a pleading chorus, "what happened?" + +"Oh, I beg your pardon," said Patty, sweetly. "Yes, thank you, I had a +very pleasant call. May I trouble you for the bread, Lucille?" + +"Patty, I think you're obnoxious," said Georgie. "Tell us what +happened." + +"Well," began Patty, in a leisurely manner, "I said to the butler, 'Is +Mrs. Millard in?' and he said to me (without even a smile), 'I am not +sure, miss; will you please step into the drawing-room and I'll see.' I +was going to tell him that he needn't bother, as I knew she was out; but +I thought that perhaps it would look a little better if I waited and let +him find out for himself. So I walked in and sat down in a +pink-and-white embroidered _Louis-Quatorze_ chair. There was a big +mirror in front of me, and I had plenty of time to study the effect, +which, I will acknowledge, was a trifle mixed." + +"A trifle," Georgie assented. + +"I was beginning," pursued Patty, "to feel nervous for fear some of the +family might drop in, when the man came back and said, 'Mrs. Millard +will be down in a minute.' + +"If I had seen you at that moment, Georgie Merriles, there would have +been battle, murder, and sudden death. My first thought was of flight; +but the man was guarding the door, and Mrs. Prexy had my card. While I +was frenziedly trying to think of a valid excuse for my costume the lady +came in, and I rose and greeted her graciously, one might almost say +gushingly. I talked very fast and tried to hypnotize her, so that she +would keep her eyes on my face; but it was no use: I saw them traveling +downward, and pretty soon I knew by the amused expression that they had +arrived at my shoes. + +"Concealment was no longer possible," pursued Patty, warming to her +subject. "I threw myself upon her mercy and confessed the whole damning +truth. What kind of ice-cream is that?" she demanded, leaning forward +and gazing anxiously after a passing maid. "_Don't_ tell me they're +giving us raspberry again!" + +"No; it's vanilla. Go on, Patty." + +"Well, where was I?" + +"You'd just told her the truth." + +"Oh, yes. She said she'd always wanted to meet the college girls +informally and know them just as they are, and she was very glad of this +opportunity. And there I sat, looking like a kaleidoscope and feeling +like a fool, and she taking it for granted that I was being perfectly +natural. Complimentary, wasn't it? At this point dinner was announced, +and she invited me to stay--quite insisted, in fact, to make up, she +said, for the one I had missed when I was ill in the infirmary." Patty +looked around the table with a reminiscent smile. + +"What did you say? Did you refuse?" asked Lucille. + +"No; I accepted, and am over there at present, eating _pate de foie +gras_." + +"No, really, Patty; what did you say?" + +"Well," said Patty, "I told her that this was ice-cream night at the +college, and that I sort of hated to miss it; but that to-morrow would +be mutton night, which I didn't mind missing in the least; so if she +would just as leave transfer her invitation, I would accept for +to-morrow with pleasure." + +"Patty," exclaimed Lucille, in a horrified tone, "you didn't say that!" + +"Just a little local color, Lucille," laughed Priscilla. + +"But," objected Lucille, "we'd promised not to play local color any +more." + +"Have you not learned," said Priscilla, "that Patty can no more live +without local color than she can live without food? It's ingrained in +her nature." + +"Never mind," said Patty, good-naturedly; "you may not believe me now, +but to-morrow night, when I'm all dressed up in beautiful clothes, +swapping stories with Prexy and eating lobster salad, while you are over +here having mutton, _then_ maybe you'll be sorry." + + + + +XIII + +A Crash Without + + +"I love the smell of powder," said Patty. + +"Gunpowder or baking-powder?" + +As Patty at the moment had her nose buried in a box of face-powder she +thought it unnecessary to answer. + +"It brings back my youth," she pursued. "The best times of my life have +been mixed up with powder and rouge--Washington's Birthday nights, and +minstrel shows, and masquerades, and plays at boarding-school, and even +Mother Goose tableaux when I was a--" + +Patty's reminiscences were interrupted by Georgie, who was anxiously +pacing up and down the wings. "It's queer some of the cast don't come. I +told them to be here early, so we could get them all made up and not +have a rush at the end." + +"Oh, there's time enough," said Patty, comfortably. "It isn't seven yet, +and if they're going to dress in their rooms it won't take any time over +here just to make them up and put on their wigs. It's a comparatively +small cast, you see. Now, on the night of the Trig. ceremonies, when we +had to make up three whole ballets and only had one box of make-up, we +_were_ rushed. I thought I'd never live to see the curtain go down. Do +you remember the suit of chain-mail we made for Bonnie Connaught out of +wire dish-cloths? It took sixty-three, and the ten-cent store was +terribly dubious about renting them to us; and then, after working every +spare second for three days over the thing, we found, the last minute, +that we hadn't left a big enough hole for her to get into, and--" + +"Oh, do keep still, Patty," said Georgie, nervously; "I can't remember +what I have to do when you talk all the time." + +A manager on the eve of producing a new play, with his reputation at +stake, may be excused for being a trifle irritable. Patty merely +shrugged her shoulders and descended through the stage-door to the +half-lighted hall, where she found Cathy Fair strolling up and down the +center aisle in an apparently aimless manner. + +"Hello, Cathy," said Patty; "what are you doing over here?" + +"I'm head usher, and I wanted to see if those foolish sophomores had +mixed up the numbers again." + +"It strikes me they're a trifle close together," said Patty, sitting +down and squeezing in her knees. + +"Yes, I know; but you can't get eight hundred people into this hall any +other way. When we once get them packed they'll have to sit still, +that's all. What are you doing over here yourself?" she continued. "I +didn't know you were on the committee. Or are you just helping +Georgie?" + +"I'm in the cast," said Patty. + +"Oh, are you? I saw the program to-day, but I'd forgotten it. I've often +wondered why you haven't been in any of the class plays." + +"Fortune and the faculty are against it," sighed Patty. "You see, they +didn't discover my histrionic ability before examinations freshman year, +and after examinations, when I was asked to be in the play, the faculty +thought I could spend the time to better advantage studying Greek. At +the time of the sophomore play I was on something else and couldn't +serve, and this year I had just been deprived of my privileges for +coming back late after Christmas." + +"But I thought you said you were in it?" + +"Oh," said Patty, "it's a minor part, and my name doesn't appear." + +"What sort of a part is it?" + +"I'm a crash." + +"A crash?" + +"Yes, 'a crash without.' Lord Bromley says, 'Cynthia, I will brave all +for your sake. I will follow you to the ends of the earth.' At this +point a crash is heard without. I," said Patty, proudly, "am the crash. +I sit behind a moonlit balcony in a space about two feet square, and +drop a lamp-chimney into a box. It may not sound like a very important +part, but it is the pivot upon which the whole plot turns." + +"I hope you won't be taken with stage-fright," laughed Cathy. + +"I'll try not," said Patty. "There comes the butler and Lord Bromley and +Cynthia. I've got to go and make them up." + +"Why are you making people up, if you are not on the committee?" + +"Oh, once, during a period of mental weakness, I took china-painting +lessons, and I'm supposed to know how. Good-by." + +"Good-by. If you get any flowers I'll send them in by an usher." + +"Do," said Patty. "I'm sure to get a lot." + +Behind the scenes all was joyful confusion. Georgie, in a short skirt, +with her shirt-waist sleeves rolled up and a note-book in her hand, was +standing in the middle of the stage directing the scene-shifters and +distracted committee. Patty, in the "green-room," was presiding over the +cast, with a hare's foot in one hand and the other daubed with red and +blue grease-paints. + +"Oh, Patty," remonstrated Cynthia, with a horrified glance in the +mirror, "I look more like a soubrette than a heroine." + +"That's the way you ought to look," returned Patty. "Here, hold still +till I put another dab on your chin." + +Cynthia appealed to the faithful Lord Bromley, who was sitting in the +background, politely letting the ladies go first. "Look, Bonnie, don't +you think I'm too red? I know it'll all come off when you kiss me." + +"If it comes off as easily as that, you'll be more fortunate than most +of the people I make up"; and Patty smiled knowingly as she remembered +how Priscilla had soaked half the night on the occasion of a previous +play, and then had appeared at breakfast the next morning with lowering +eyebrows and a hectic flush on each cheek. "You must remember that +foot-lights take a lot of color," she explained condescendingly. "You'd +look ghastly if I let you go the way you wanted to at first. Next! + +"No," said Patty, as the butler presented himself; "you don't come till +the second act. I'll take the Irate Parent first." The Irate Parent was +dragged from a corner where he had been anxiously mumbling over his +lines. "What's the matter?" asked Patty, as she began daubing in +wrinkles with a liberal hand; "are you afraid?" + +"N-no," said the Parent; "I'm not afraid, only I'm afraid that I will be +afraid." + +"You'd just better change your mind, then," said Patty, sternly. "We +aren't going to allow any stage-fright to-night." + +"Patty, you can manage Georgie Merriles; make her let me go on without +any wig," cried Cynthia, returning and holding up to view a mass of +yellow curls of a shade that was never produced in the course of nature. + +Patty looked at the wig critically. "It is, perhaps, a trifle golden for +the part." + +"Golden!" said Cynthia. "It's positively _orange_. Wait till you see how +it lights up. He calls me his dark-eyed beauty: and I'm sure no one with +dark eyes, or any other kind of eyes, would have hair like that. My own +looks a great deal better." + +"Why don't you wear your own, then? Wrinkle up your forehead, Parent, +and let me see which way they run." + +"Georgie paid two dollars for renting it, and she's bound to get the +money's worth of wear out of it, even if she makes me look like a fright +and spoils the play." + +"Nonsense," said Patty, pushing away the Parent and giving her undivided +attention to the question. "Your own hair does look better. Just mislay +the wig and keep out of Georgie's way till the curtain goes up. The +audience are beginning to come," she announced to the room in general, +"and you've got to keep still back there. You're making an awful racket, +and they can hear you all over the house. Here, what are you making such +a noise for?" she demanded of Lord Bromley, who came clumping up with +footfalls which reverberated through the flies. + +"I can't help it," he said crossly. "Look at these boots. They're so big +that I can step out of them without unlacing them." + +"It's not my fault. I haven't anything to do with the costumes." + +"I know it; but what can I do?" + +"Never mind," said Patty, soothingly; "they don't look so awfully bad. +You'll have to try and walk without raising your feet." + +She went out on the stage, where Georgie was giving her last directions +to the scene-shifters. "The minute the curtain goes down on the first +act change this forest to the drawing-room scene, and don't make any +noise hammering. If you have to hammer, do it while the orchestra's +playing. How does it look?" she asked anxiously, turning to Patty. + +"Beautiful," said Patty. "I'd scarcely recognize it." + +The "forest scene" had served in every outdoor capacity for the last +four years, and it was usually hailed with a groan on the part of the +audience. + +"I was just coming in to see if the cast were ready," said Georgie. + +"They're all made up, and are sitting in the green-room getting +stage-fright. What shall I do now?" + +"Let me see," said Georgie, consulting her book. "One of the committee +is to prompt, one is to stay with the men and see that they manage the +curtain and the lights in the right places, one is to give the cues, and +two are to help change costumes. Cynthia has to change from a +riding-habit to a ball-gown in four minutes. I think you'd better help +her, too." + +"Anything you please," said Patty, obligingly. "I'll stand on a stool +with the ball-gown in the air ready to drop it over her head the moment +she appears, like a harness on a fire-horse. Is everything out here +done? What time is it?" + +"Yes; everything's done, and it's five minutes of eight. We can begin as +soon as the audience is ready." + +They peered through the folds of the heavy velvet curtain at the sea of +faces in front. Eight hundred girls in light evening-gowns were talking +and laughing and singing. Snatches of song would start up in one corner +and sweep gaily over the house, and sometimes two would meet and clash +in the center, to the horror of those who preferred harmony to volume. + +"Here come the old girls!" said Patty, as a procession of some fifty +filed into reserved seats near the front. "There are loads of last +year's class back. What are the juniors doing? Look; I believe they are +going to serenade them." + +The juniors rose in a body, and, turning to their departed sister class, +sang a song notable for its sentiment rather than its meter. + +"I do hope it will be a success," sighed Georgie. "If it doesn't come up +to last year's senior play I shall _die_." + +"Oh, it will," said Patty, reassuringly. "Anything would be better than +that." + +"Now the glee club's going to sing two songs," said Georgie. "Thank +heaven, they're new!" she added fervently. "And the orchestra plays an +overture, and then the curtain goes up. Run and tell them to come out +here, ready for the first act." + +Lord Bromley was standing in the wings disgustedly viewing the +banquet-table. "See here, Patty," he called as she hurried past. "Look +at this stuff Georgie Merriles has palmed off on us for wine. You can't +expect me to drink any such dope as _that_." + +Patty paused for an instant. "What's the matter with it?" she inquired, +pouring out some in a glass and holding it up to the light. + +"Matter? It's made of currant jelly and water, with cold tea mixed in." + +"I made it myself," said Patty, with some dignity. "It's a beautiful +color." + +"But I have to drain my glass at a draught," expostulated the outraged +lord. + +"I'm sure there's nothing in currant jelly or tea to hurt you. You can +be thankful it isn't poisonous." And Patty hurried on. + +The glee club sang the two new songs, punctuated with the appreciative +applause of a long-suffering audience, and the orchestra commenced the +overture. + +"Everybody clear the stage," said Georgie, in a low tone, "and you keep +your eyes on the book," she added sternly to the prompter; "you lost +your place twice at the dress rehearsal." + +The overture died down; a bell tinkled, and the curtain parted in the +middle, discovering Cynthia sitting on a garden-seat in the castle park +(originally the Forest of Arden). + +As the curtain fell at the end of the act, and the applause gave way to +an excited buzz in the audience, Patty hugged Georgie gleefully. "It's +fifty times better than last year!" + +"Heaven send Theo Granby is out there!" piously ejaculated Georgie. +(Theo Granby had been the chairman of last year's senior play.) + + * * * * * + +THE curtain had risen on the fourth act, and Patty squeezed herself into +the somewhat close quarters behind the balcony. There was +fortunately--or rather unfortunately--a window in the rear of the +building at this point, and Patty opened it and perched herself at one +end of the sill, with the lamp-chimney ready for use at the other end. +The crash was not due for some time, and Patty, having lately elected +astronomy, whiled away the interval by examining the stars. + +On the stage matters were approaching a climax. Lord Bromley was making +an excellent lover, as was proved by the fact that the audience was +taking him seriously instead of laughing through the love scenes as +usual. + +"Cynthia," he implored, "say that you will be mine, and I will brave all +for your sake. I will follow you to the ends of the earth." He gazed +tenderly into her eyes, and waited for the crash. A silence as of the +tomb prevailed, and he continued to gaze tenderly, while a grin rapidly +spread over the audience. + +"Hang Patty!" he murmured savagely. "Might have known she'd do something +like this.--What was that? Did you hear a noise?" he asked aloud. + +"No," said Cynthia, truthfully; "I did not hear anything." + +"Pretend you did," he whispered, and they continued to improvise. After +some five minutes of hopeless floundering, the prompter got them back on +the track again, and the act proceeded, with the audience happily +unaware that anything was missing. + +Ten minutes later Lord Bromley was declaiming: "Cynthia, let us flee +this place. Its dark rooms haunt me; its silence oppresses me--" And the +crash came. + +For the first moment the audience was too startled to notice that the +actors were also taken by surprise. Then Lord Bromley, who was getting +used to emergencies, pulled himself together and ejaculated, "Hark! What +was that sound?" + +"I think it was a crash," said Cynthia. + +He grasped her hand and ran back toward the balcony. "Give us our +lines," he said to the prompter, as he went past. + +The prompter had dropped the book, and couldn't find the place. + +"Make them up," came in a piercing whisper from behind the balcony. + +A silence ensued while the two dashed back and forth, looking excitedly +up and down the stage. Then the despairing Lord Bromley stretched out +his arms in a gesture of supplication. "Cynthia," he burst out in tones +of realistic longing, "I cannot bear this horrible suspense. Let us +flee." And they fled, fully three pages too early, forgetting to leave +the letter which should have apprised the Irate Parent of the +circumstance. + +Georgie was tramping up and down the wings, wringing her hands and +lamenting the day that ever Patty had been born. + +"Hurry up that Parent before they stop clapping," said Lord Bromley, +"and they'll never know the difference." + +The poor old man, with his wig over one ear, was unceremoniously hustled +on to the stage, where he raved up and down and swore never to forgive +his ungrateful daughter in so realistic a manner that the audience +forgot to wonder how he found it out. In due time the runaways returned +from the notary's, overcame the old man's harshness, received the +parental blessing, and the curtain fell on a scene of domestic felicity +that delighted the freshmen in the gallery. + +Patty crawled out from under the balcony and fell on her knees at +Georgie's feet. + +Lord Bromley raised her up. "Never mind, Patty. The audience doesn't +know the difference; and, anyway, it was all for the best. My mustache +wouldn't have stayed on more than two minutes longer." + +They could hear some one shouting in the front, "What's the matter with +Georgie Merriles?" and a hundred voices replied, "She's all right!" + +"Who's all right?" + +"G-e-o-r-g-i-e M-e-r-r-i-l-e-s." + +"What's the matter with the cast?" + +"They're all right!" + +The stage-door burst open and a crowd of congratulatory friends burst in +and gathered around the disheveled actors and committee. "It's the best +senior play since we've been in college." "The freshmen are simply crazy +over it." "Lord Bromley, your room will be full of flowers for a month." +"Patty," called the head usher, over the heads of the others, "let me +congratulate you. I was in the very back of the room, and never heard a +thing but your crash. It sounded _fine_!" + +"Patty," demanded Georgie, "what in the world were you doing?" + +"I was counting the stars," said the contrite Patty, "and then I +remembered too late, and I turned around suddenly, and it fell off. I am +terribly sorry." + +"Never mind," laughed Georgie; "since it turned out well, I'll forgive +you. All the cast and committee," she said, raising her voice, "come up +to my room for food. I'm sorry I can't invite you all," she added to the +girls crowded in the doorway, "but I live in a single." + + + + +XIV + +The Mystery of the Shadowed Sophomore + + +"Oh, I say, Bonnie--Bonnie Connaught! Priscilla! Wait a minute," called +a girl from across the links, as the two were strolling homeward one +afternoon, dragging their caddie-bags behind them. They turned and +waited while Bonnie's sophomore cousin, Mildred Connaught, dashed up. +She grasped them excitedly, and at the same time glanced over her +shoulder with the air of a criminal who is being tracked. + +"I want to tell you something," she panted. "Come in here where no one +will see us"; and she dived into a clump of pine-trees growing by the +path. + +Priscilla and Bonnie followed more leisurely, and dropped down on the +soft needles with an air of amused tolerance. + +"Well, Mildred, what's the matter?" Bonnie inquired mildly. + +The sophomore lowered her voice to an impressive whisper, although there +was not a person within a hundred yards. "I am being _followed_," she +said solemnly. + +"Followed!" exclaimed Bonnie, in amazement. "Are you crazy, child? You +act like a boy who's been reading dime novels." + +"Listen, girls. You mustn't tell a soul, because it's a great secret. +We're going to plant the class tree to-night, and I am chairman of the +ceremonies. Everything is ready--the costumes are finished and the plans +all arranged so that the class can get out to the place without being +seen. The freshmen haven't a suspicion that it's going to be to-night. +But they have found out that I'm chairman of the committee, and, if you +please,"--Mildred's eyes grew wide with excitement,--"they've been +_tracking_ me for a week. They have _relays_ of girls appointed to +watch me, and I can't stir without a freshman tagging along behind. When +I went down to order the ice-cream, there was one right at my elbow, and +I had to pretend that I'd come for soda-water. I have simply had to let +the rest of the committee do all of the work, because I was so afraid +the freshmen would find out the time. It was funny at first, but I am +getting nervous. It's horrible to think that you're being watched all +the time. I feel as if I'd committed a murder, and keep looking over my +shoulder like--like Macbeth." + +"It's _awful_," Bonnie shuddered. "I'm thrilled to the bone to think of +the peril a member of my family is braving for the sake of her class." + +"You needn't laugh," said Mildred. "It's a serious matter. If those +freshmen come to our tree ceremonies, we'll never hear the last of it. +But they are not going to come," she added with a meaning smile. "They +have another engagement. We chose to-night because there's a lecture +before the Archaeological Society by some alumna person who's been +digging up remains in Rome. The freshmen have been told to go and hear +her on account of their Latin. Imagine their feelings when they are +cooped up in the auditorium, trying to look intelligent about the Roman +Forum, and listening to our yells outside!" + +Priscilla and Bonnie smiled appreciatively. It was not so long, after +all, since they themselves were sophomores, and they recalled their own +tree ceremonies, when the freshmen had _not_ been cooped up. + +"But the trouble is," pursued Mildred, "that it's more important for me +to get there than any one else, because I have to dig the hole,--Peters +is really going to dig it, you know; I just take out the first +shovelful,--but I can't get there on account of that beastly scout. As +soon as she saw me acting suspicious, she'd run and warn the class." + +"I see," said Bonnie; "but what have Priscilla and I to do with it?" + +"Well," said Mildred, tentatively, "you're both pretty big, you know, +and you're our sister class, and you ought to help us." + +"Certainly," acquiesced Bonnie; "but in just what way?" + +"Well, my idea was this. If you would just stroll down by the lake after +chapel, and loiter sort of inconspicuously among the trees, you know, I +would come that way a little later, and then, when the detective person +came along after me, you could just nab her and--" + +"Chuck her in the lake?" asked Bonnie. + +"No, of course not. Don't use any force. Just politely detain her till +you hear us yelling--take her for a walk. She'd feel honored." + +Bonnie laughed. The program struck her as entertaining. "I don't see +anything very immoral in delaying a freshman who is going where she has +no business to go. What do you say, Pris?" + +"It's not exactly a Sunday-school excursion," acknowledged Priscilla, +"but I don't see why it isn't as legitimate for us to play detective as +for them." + +"By all means," said Bonnie. "Behold Sherlock Holmes and his friend Dr. +Watson about to solve the Mystery of the Shadowed Sophomore." + +"You've saved my life," said Mildred, feelingly. "Don't forget. Right +after chapel, by the lake." She peered warily out through the branches. +"I've got to get the keys to the gymnasium, so the refreshments can be +put in during chapel. Do you see anybody lurking about? I guess I can +get off without being seen. Good-by"; and she sped away like a hunted +animal. + +Bonnie looked after her and laughed. "'Youth is a great time, but +somewhat fussy,'" she quoted; and the two took their homeward way. + +They found Patty, who was experiencing a periodical fit of studying, +immersed in dictionaries and grammars. It was under protest that she +allowed herself to be interrupted long enough to hear the story of their +proposed adventure. + +"You babies!" she exclaimed. "Haven't you grown up yet? Don't you think +it's a little undignified for seniors--one might almost say alumnae--to +be kidnapping freshmen?" + +"We're not kidnapping freshmen," Bonnie remonstrated; "we're teaching +them manners. It's my duty to protect my little cousin." + +"You can come with us and help detect," said Priscilla, generously. + +"Thank you," said Patty, loftily. "I haven't time to play with you +children. Cathy Fair and I are going to do Old English to-night." + +That evening, as Patty, keyed to the point of grappling with and +throwing whole pages of "Beowulf," stood outside the chapel door waiting +for Cathy to appear, the professor of Latin came out with a stranger. + +"Oh, Miss Wyatt!" she exclaimed in a relieved tone, pouncing upon Patty. +"I wish to present you to Miss Henderson, one of our alumnae who is to +lecture to-night before the Archaeological Society. She has not been back +for several years, and wishes to see the new buildings. Have you time to +show her around the campus a little before the lecture begins?" + +Patty bowed and murmured that she would be most happy, and cast an +agonized glance back at Cathy as she led the lecturer off. As they +strolled about, Patty poured out all the statistics she knew about the +various buildings, and Miss Henderson received them with exclamations of +delighted surprise. She was rather young and gushing for a Ph.D. and an +archaeologist, Patty decided, and she wondered desperately how she could +dispose of her and get back to "Beowulf" and Cathy. + +They rounded the top of a little hill, and Miss Henderson exclaimed +delightedly, "There is the lake, just as it used to be!" + +Patty stifled a desire to remark that lakes had a habit of staying where +they used to be, and asked politely if Miss Henderson would like to take +a row. + +Miss Henderson thought that it would be pleasant; but she had forgotten +her watch, and was afraid there would not be time. + +Patty glanced about vaguely for some further object of interest, and +spied Mildred Connaught sauntering toward the lake. She had forgotten +all about the Sherlock Holmes adventure, and she suddenly had an +inspiration. Be it said to her credit that she hesitated a moment; but +the lecturer's next remark led to her own undoing. She was murmuring +something about feeling like a stranger, and wishing that she might know +the students informally and see a little of the real college life. + +"It would be a pity not to gratify her when I can do it so easily," +Patty told herself; and she added out loud, "I am sure we have time for +a little row, Miss Henderson. You walk on, and I will run back and get +my watch; it won't take a minute." + +"I wouldn't have you do that; it is too much trouble," remonstrated Miss +Henderson. + +"It's no trouble whatever," Patty protested kindly. "I can take a cross +cut, and meet you at the little summer-house where the boats are moored. +It's straight down this path; you can't miss it. Just follow that girl +over there"; and she darted away. + +The lecturer gazed dubiously after her a moment, and then started on +after the girl, who cast a look over her shoulder and quickened her +pace. It was growing quite dusky under the trees, and the lecturer +hurried on, trying to keep the girl in sight; but she unexpectedly +turned a corner and disappeared, and at the same moment two strange +girls suddenly dropped into the path, apparently from the tree-tops. + +"Good evening," they said pleasantly. "Are you taking a walk?" + +The lecturer started back with an exclamation of surprise; but as soon +as she could regain her composure, she replied politely that she was +strolling about and looking at the campus. + +"Perhaps you would like to stroll with us?" they inquired. + +"Thank you, you are very kind; but I have an engagement to row with one +of the students." + +Priscilla and Bonnie exchanged delighted glances. They had evidently +caught a resourceful young person. + +"Oh, no; it's too late for a row. You might get malaria," Priscilla +remonstrated. "Come and sit on the fence with us and admire the stars; +it's a lovely night." + +The lecturer cast an alarmed glance toward the fence, which appeared to +have an unusually narrow top rail. "You are very kind," she stammered, +"but I really can't stop. The girl will be waiting." + +"Who is the girl?" they inquired. + +"I don't know that I remember her name." + +"Mildred Connaught?" Bonnie suggested. + +"No; I don't think that is it, but I really can't say. I have only just +met her." + +Miss Henderson was growing more and more puzzled. In her day the +students had not been in the habit of way-laying strangers with +invitations to go walking and sit on fences. + +"Ah, _do_ stay with us," Bonnie begged, laying a hand on her arm. "We're +lonely and want some one to talk to--we'll tell you a secret if you do." + +"I am sorry," Miss Henderson murmured confusedly, "but--" + +"We'll tell you the secret anyway," said Bonnie, generously, "and I'm +sure you'll be interested. The sophomores are going to have their tree +ceremonies to-night!" + +"And you know," Priscilla broke in, "that the freshmen really ought to +attend them too--it doesn't matter if they aren't invited. But where do +you suppose the freshmen are to-night? They're attending a foolish +little lecture on the Roman Forum." + +"And though we don't wish to seem insistent," Bonnie added, "we should +really like to have your company until the lecture is over." + +"Until the lecture is over! But I am the lecturer," gasped Miss +Henderson. + +Bonnie grinned delightedly. "I am happy to meet you," she said, with a +bow. "And perhaps you do not recognize us. I am Mr. Sherlock Holmes, and +this is my friend Dr. Watson." + +Dr. Watson bowed, and remarked that it was an unexpected pleasure. He +had often heard of the famous lecturer, but had never hoped to meet her. + +Miss Henderson, who was not very conversant with recent literature, +looked more dazed than ever. It flashed across her mind that there was +an insane asylum in the neighborhood, and the thought was not +reassuring. + +"We'll not handcuff you," said Bonnie, magnanimously, "if you'll come +with us quietly." + +The lecturer, in spite of fervid protestations that she was a lecturer, +presently found herself sitting on the fence, with a girl on either side +grasping an elbow. A light was beginning to break upon her, together +with a poignant realization of the fact that she was seeing more of the +real college life than she cared for. + +"What time is it?" she asked anxiously. + +"Ten minutes past eight by my watch, but I think it's a little slow," +said Bonnie. + +"I am afraid you're going to be late for your lecture," said Priscilla. +"It seems a pity to waste it. Suppose you tell it to us instead." + +"Yes, do," urged Bonnie. "I just dote on the Roman Forum." + +The lecturer preserved a dignified silence, which was broken only by the +croaking of the frogs and the occasional remarks of the two detectives. +She had relinquished all hope of ever seeing the Archaeological Society, +and had philosophically resigned herself to the prospect of sitting on +the fence all night, when suddenly there burst out from across the +campus a song of victory, mingled with cheers and inarticulate yells. + +At the first sound, Bonnie and Priscilla tumbled down from the fence, +bringing the lecturer with them, and, each grasping her by a hand, they +started to run. "Come on and see the fun," they laughed. "You're +perfectly welcome; it's no secret any more." And, in spite of breathless +protestations that she much preferred to walk, Miss Henderson found +herself dashing across the campus in the direction of the sounds. + +Heads suddenly appeared in the dormitory windows, doors banged, and +girls came running from every quarter with excited exclamations: "The +sophomores are having their tree ceremonies!" "Where are the freshmen?" +"Why didn't they get there?" + +A crowd quickly gathered in the shadow of the trees and watched the +scene with laughing interest. A wide circle of colored lanterns swayed +in the breeze, and, within, a line of white-robed figures wound and +unwound about a tiny tree to the music of a solemn chant. + +"Isn't it pretty? Aren't you glad we brought you?" Bonnie demanded as +they pushed through the crowd. + +The lecturer did not answer, for she caught sight of the Latin professor +hurrying toward them. + +"Miss Henderson! I was afraid you were lost. It is nearly half-past +eight. The audience has been waiting, and we have been filling in the +time with reports." + +For a moment the lecturer was silent, being occupied with an amused +scrutiny of the faces of her captors; and then she rose to the occasion +like a lady and a scholar, and delivered a masterly apology, with never +a reference to her sojourn on the fence. + +Bonnie and Priscilla stared at each other without a word, and as Miss +Henderson was led away to the remnants of her audience Patty suddenly +appeared. + +"Good evening, Mr. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. Did you solve your +mystery?" she asked sweetly. + +Priscilla turned her to the light and scrutinized her face. + +Patty smiled back with wide-open, innocent eyes. + +Priscilla knew the expression, and she shook her. "You little wretch!" +she exclaimed. + +Patty squirmed out from under her grasp. "If you remember," she +murmured, "I once said that the Lick Observatory was in Dublin, Ireland. +It was a very funny mistake, of course, but I know of others that are +funnier." + +"What do you mean?" Bonnie demanded. + +"I mean," said Patty, "that I wish you never to mention the Lick +Observatory again." + + + + +XV + +Patty and the Bishop + + +The dressing-bell rang for Sunday morning service, and Patty laid down +her book with a sigh and went and stood by the open window. The outside +world was a shimmering green and yellow, the trees showed a feathery +fringe against the sky, and the breeze was redolent of violets and fresh +earth. + +"Patty," called Priscilla, from her bedroom, "you'll have to hurry if +you want me to fasten your dress. I have to go to choir rehearsal." + +Patty turned back with another sigh, and began slowly unhooking her +collar. Then she sat down on the edge of the couch and stared absently +out of the window. + +A vigorous banging of bureau drawers in Priscilla's room was presently +followed by Priscilla herself in the doorway. She surveyed her room-mate +suspiciously. "Why aren't you dressing?" she demanded. + +"I'll fasten my own dress; you needn't wait," said Patty, without +removing her eyes from the window. + +"Bishop Copeley's going to preach to-day, and he's such an old dear; you +mustn't be late." + +Patty elevated her chin a trifle and shrugged her shoulders. + +"Aren't you going to chapel?" + +Patty brought her gaze back from the window and looked up at Priscilla +beseechingly. "It's such a lovely day," she pleaded, "and I'd so much +rather spend the time out of doors; I'm sure it would be a lot better +for my spiritual welfare." + +"It's not a question of spiritual welfare; it's a question of cuts. +You've already over-cut twice. What excuse do you intend to give when +the Self-Government Committee asks for an explanation?" + +"'Sufficient unto the day,'" laughed Patty. "When the time comes I'll +think of a beautiful new excuse that will charm the committee." + +"You ought to be ashamed to evade the rules the way you do." + +"Where is the fun of living if you are going to make yourself a slave to +all sorts of petty rules?" asked Patty, wearily. + +"I don't know why you have a right to live outside of rules any more +than the rest of us." + +Patty shrugged. "I take the right, and every one else can do the same." + +"Every one else can't," returned Priscilla, hotly, "for there wouldn't +be any law left in college if they did. I should a good deal rather play +out of doors myself than go to chapel, but I've used up all my cuts and +I can't. You couldn't either if you had a shred of proper feeling left. +The only way you can get out of it is by lying." + +"Priscilla dear," Patty murmured, "people in polite society don't put +things quite so baldly. If you would be respected in the best circles, +you must practise the art of equivocation." + +Priscilla frowned impatiently. "Are you coming, or are you not?" she +demanded. + +"I am not." + +Priscilla closed the door--not quite as softly as a door should be +closed--and Patty was left alone. She sat thinking a few minutes with +slightly flushed cheeks, and then as the chapel bell rang she shook +herself and laughed. Even had she wished to go it was too late now, and +all feeling of responsibility vanished. As soon as the decorous swish of +Sunday silks had ceased in the corridor outside, she caught up a book +and a cushion, and, creeping down by the side stairs, set gaily out +across the sunlit lawn, with the deliciously guilty thrill of a truant +little boy who has run away from school. + +From the open windows of the chapel she could hear the college +chanting: "Lord, have mercy upon us, and incline our hearts to keep this +law." She laughed happily to herself; she was not keeping laws to-day. +They might stay in there in the gloom, if they wanted to, with their +commandments and their litanies. She was worshiping under the blue sky, +to the jubilant chanting of the birds. + +She was the only person alive and out that morning, and the spring was +in her blood, and she felt as though she owned the world. The campus had +never seemed so radiant. She paused on the little rustic bridge to watch +the excited swirling of the brook, and she nearly lost her balance while +trying to launch a tiny boat made of a piece of bark. She dropped +pebbles into the pool in order to watch the startled frogs splash back +into the water, and she threw her cushion at a squirrel, and laughed +aloud at its angry chattering. She raced up the side of Pine Bluff, and +dropped down panting on the fragrant needles in the shadow of a tall +pine. + +Below her the ivy-covered buildings of the college lay clustered among +the trees; and in the Sunday quiet, with the sunlight shining on the +towers, it looked like some medieval village sleeping in the valley. +Patty gazed down dreamily with half-shut eyes, and imagined that +presently a band of troubadours and ladies would come riding out on +milk-white mules. But the sight of Peters, strolling to the gateway in +his Sunday clothes, spoiled the illusion, and she turned to her book +with a smile. Presently she closed it, however. This was not the time +for reading. One could read in winter and when it rained, and even in +the college library with every one else turning pages; but out here in +the open, with the real things of life happening all about, it was a +waste of opportunity. + +Her eyes wandered back to the campus again, and she suddenly grew sober +as the thought swept over her that in a few weeks more it would be hers +no longer. This happy, irresponsible community life, which had come to +be the only natural way of living, was suddenly at an end. She +remembered the first day of being a freshman, when everything but +herself had looked so big, and she had thought desperately, "Four years +of this!" It had seemed like an eternity; and now that it was over it +seemed like a minute. She wanted to clutch the present and hold it fast. +It was a terrible thing--this growing old. + +And there were the girls. She would have to say good-by, with no opening +day in the fall--and Priscilla lived in California and Georgie in South +Dakota and Bonnie in Kentucky and she in New England, and they were the +only people in the world she particularly cared to talk to. She would +have to get acquainted with her mother's friends--with chronically +grown-up people, who talked about husbands and children and servants. +And there would be men. She had never had time to know many men; but +some day she would probably be marrying one of them, and then all +_would_ be over; and before she had time to think, she would be an old +lady, telling her grandchildren stories about when she was a girl. + +[Illustration: I have just run away from you, Bishop Copeley] + +Patty gazed mournfully down on the campus, almost on the verge of tears +over her lost youth, when a step suddenly sounded on the gravel path, +and she looked up with a startled glance to see a churchly figure +rounding the hill. Involuntarily she prepared for flight; but the bishop +had spied her, together with a little rustic seat under a tree, and he +smiled upon the one and dropped down upon the other with a sigh of +content. + +"A beautiful view," he gasped; "but a very steep hill." + +"It is steep," Patty agreed politely; and as there seemed to be no +chance of escape, she resumed her seat and added, with a laugh: "I have +just run away from you, Bishop Copeley, and here you come following +along behind like an accusing conscience." + +The bishop chuckled. "I've run away myself," he returned; "I knew I +should have to be introduced to a hundred or so of you after service, +so I just slipped out the back way for a quiet stroll." + +Patty eyed him appreciatively, with a new sense of fellow-feeling. + +"I should like to have run away from church as well," he confessed, with +a twinkle in his eye. "Out of doors is the best church on a day like +this." + +"That's what I think," said Patty, cordially; "but I had no idea that +bishops were so sensible." + +They chatted along in a friendly manner on various subjects, and +exchanged lay opinions on the college and the clergy. + +"It's a funny thing about this place," said Patty, ruminatingly, "that, +though we have a different preacher every Sunday, we always have the +same sermon." + +"The same sermon?" inquired the bishop, somewhat aghast. + +"Practically the same," said Patty. "I've heard it for four years, and I +think I could almost preach it myself. They all seem to think, you know, +that because we come to college we must be monsters of reason, and they +urge us to remember that reason and science are not the only things that +count in the world--that feeling is, after all, the main factor; and +they quote a little poem about the flower being beautiful, I know not +why. That wasn't what yours was about?" she asked anxiously. + +"Not this time," said the bishop; "I preached an old one." + +"It's the best way," said Patty. "We're human beings, if we do come to +college. I remember once we had a man from Yale or Harvard or some such +place, and he preached an old sermon: he urged us to become more manly. +It was very refreshing." + +The bishop smiled. "Do you run away from church very often?" he inquired +mildly. + +"No; I don't have a chance when I room with Priscilla. But obligatory +chapel makes you want to run away," she added. "It's not the chapel I +object to; it's the obligatoriness." + +"But you have a system of--er--cuts," he suggested. + +"Three a month," said Patty, sadly. "Evening chapel counts as one, but +Sunday morning church as two." + +"So you expended two cuts to escape me?" he asked with a smile. + +"Oh, it wasn't you," Patty remonstrated hastily. "It was just--the +obligatoriness. And besides," she added frankly, "my legitimate cuts +were used up days ago, and when I once begin over-cutting, I am +reckless." + +"And may I ask what happens when you over-cut?" the bishop inquired. + +"Well," said Patty, "there are proctors, you know, that mark you when +you are absent; and then, if they find that you've over-cut, the +Self-Government Committee calls you up and asks the reason. If you can't +produce a good excuse you are deprived of your privileges for a month, +and you can't be on committees or in plays or get leave of absence to go +out of town." + +"I see," said the bishop; "and will you have to suffer all of those +penalties?" + +"Oh, no," said Patty, comfortably; "I shall produce a good excuse." + +"What will you say?" he inquired. + +"I don't know, exactly; I shall have to depend on the inspiration of the +moment." + +The bishop regarded her quizzically. "Do you mean," he asked, "that, +having broken the rule, you intend to evade the penalty by--to put it +flatly--a falsehood?" + +"Oh, no, bishop," said Patty, in a shocked tone. "Of course I shall tell +the truth, only"--she looked up in the bishop's face with an +irresistible smile--"the committee probably won't understand it." + +For an instant the bishop's face relaxed, and then he grew grave again. +"By a subterfuge?" he asked. + +"Y-yes," acknowledged Patty; "I suppose you _might_ call it a +subterfuge. I dare say I am pretty bad," she added, "but you have to +have a reputation for something in a place like this or you get +overlooked. I can't compete in goodness or in athletics or in anything +like that, so there's nothing left for me but to surpass in badness--I +have quite a gift for it." + +The corners of the bishop's mouth twitched. "You don't look like one +with a criminal record." + +"I'm young yet," said Patty. "It hasn't commenced to show." + +"My dear little girl," said the bishop, "I have already preached one +sermon to-day, which you didn't come to hear, and I can't undertake to +preach another for your benefit,"--Patty looked relieved,--"but there is +one question I should like to ask you. In after years, when you are +through college and the question is asked of some of your class-mates, +'Did you know--' You have not told me your name." + +"Patty Wyatt." + +"'Did you know Patty Wyatt, and what sort of a girl was she?' will the +answer be what you would wish?" + +Patty considered. "Ye-yes; I think, on the whole, they'd stand by me." + +"This morning," the bishop continued placidly, "I asked a professor in +an entirely casual way about a young woman--a class-mate of your +own--who is the daughter of an old friend of mine. The answer was +immediate and unhesitating, and you can imagine how much it gratified +me. 'There is not a finer girl in college,' he replied. 'She is honest +in work and honest in play, and thoroughly conscientious in everything +she does.'" + +"Um-m," said Patty; "that must have been Priscilla." + +"No," smiled the bishop, "it was not Priscilla. The young woman of whom +I am speaking is the president of your Student Association, Catherine +Fair." + +"Yes, it's true," said Patty, critically. "Cathy Fair hits straight from +the shoulder." + +"And wouldn't you like to go out with that reputation?" + +"I'm really not _very_ bad," pleaded Patty, "that is, as badness goes. +But I couldn't be as good as Cathy; it would be going against nature." + +"I am afraid," suggested the bishop, "that you do not try very hard. You +may not think that it matters what people think now that you are young, +but how will it be when you grow older? And it will not be long," he +added. "Age slips upon you before you realize it." + +Patty looked sober. + +"You will soon be thirty, and then forty, and then fifty." + +Patty sighed. + +"And do you think that a woman of that age is attractive if she deals in +subterfuges and evasions?" + +Patty squirmed a trifle, and dug a little hole in the pine-needles with +her toe. + +"You must remember that you cannot form your character in a moment, my +dear. Character is a plant of slow growth, and the seeds must be planted +early." + +The bishop rose, and Patty scrambled to her feet with a look of relief. +He took the pillow and the book under his arm, and they started down the +hill. "I have preached you a sermon, after all," he said apologetically; +"but preaching is my trade, and you must forgive an old man for being +prosy." + +Patty held out her hand with a smile as they stopped before the door of +Phillips Hall. "Good-by, bishop," she said, "and thank you for the +sermon; I guess I needed it--I _am_ getting old." + +She climbed the stairs slowly, and, hesitating a moment outside her own +room, where the sound of laughing voices through the transom betokened +that the clan was gathered, she kept on to the door of a single at the +end of the corridor. + +"Come in," a voice called in response to her knock. + +Patty turned the knob and stuck her head in. "Hello, Cathy! Are you +busy?" + +"Of course not. Come in and talk to me." + +Patty shut the door and leaned with her back against it. "This isn't a +social call," she announced impressively. "I've come to see you +officially." + +"Officially?" + +"You're president of students, I believe?" + +"I believe I am," sighed Cathy; "and if the President of the United +States has half as much trouble with his subjects as I have with mine, +he has my sincerest sympathy." + +"I suppose we are a great deal of trouble," said Patty, contritely. + +"Trouble! My dear," said Cathy, solemnly. "I've spent the entire week +running around to the different cottages making speeches to those +blessed freshmen. They _won't_ hand in chapel excuses, and they _will_ +run off with library books, and, altogether, they're an immoral lot." + +"They can afford to be; they're young," sighed Patty, enviously. "But +I," she added, "am getting old, and it's time I was getting good. I've +called to tell you that I've over-cut four times, and I haven't any +excuse." + +"What are you talking about?" asked Cathy, in amazement. + +"Chapel excuses. I've over-cut four times,--I think it's four, though +I've rather lost count,--and I haven't any excuse." + +"But, Patty, don't tell me that. You must have some excuse, some reason +for--" + +"Not the shadow of one. Just stayed away because I didn't feel like +going." + +"But you must give me _some_ reason," remonstrated Cathy, in distress, +"or I'll have to report it to the committee and you'll be deprived of +your privileges. You can't afford that, you know, for you're chairman of +the Senior Prom." + +"But I didn't have any excuse, and I can't make one up," said Patty. "I +will soon be thirty, and then forty, and then fifty. Do you think a +woman of that age is attractive if she deals in subterfuges and +evasions? Character," she added solemnly, "is a plant of slow growth, +and the seeds must be planted early." + +Cathy looked puzzled. "I don't know what you're talking about," she +said, "but I suppose you do. Anyway," she added, "I'm sorry about the +chairmanship; but I'm--well, I'm sort of glad, too." She laid a hand on +Patty's shoulder. "Of course I've always liked you, Patty,--everybody +does,--but I don't believe I've ever appreciated you, and I'm glad to +find it out before we leave college." + +Patty's face flushed a trifle and she drew away half sheepishly. "You'd +best postpone your felicitations until to-morrow," she laughed, "for I +may think of some good excuse in the night. Good-by." + +She was greeted in the study with a cry of welcome. + +"Well, Patty," said Priscilla, "I hear you've been taking a walk with +the bishop. Did you tell him you'd cut chapel?" + +"I did; and he said he wished he might have cut, too." + +"She's incorrigible," sighed Georgie; "she's even been corrupting the +bishop." + +"You'd better be careful, Patty Wyatt," warned Bonnie Connaught. +"Self-Government will get you if you don't watch out, and _then_ you'll +be sorry when they take you off the Senior Prom." + +Patty sobered for a moment, but she hastily assumed a nonchalant air. +"They have got me," she laughed, "and I'm already off--or, at least, I +shall be as soon as they have a meeting." + +"Patty!" cried the room, in a horrified chorus. "What do you mean?" + +Patty shrugged. "Just what I say: deprived of my privileges for cutting +chapel." + +"It's a shame!" said Georgie, indignantly. "That Self-Government +Committee is going a little too far when it takes a senior's privileges +away without even hearing her case." She grasped Patty by the arm and +started toward the door. "Come on and tell Cathy Fair about it. She +will fix it all right." + +Patty hung back and disengaged her wrist from Georgie's grasp. "Let me +alone," she said sulkily. "There's nothing to be done. I told her myself +I hadn't any excuse." + +"You told her?" Georgie stared her incredulity, and Bonnie Connaught +laughed. + +"Patty reminds me of the burglar who crawled out the back window with +the silver, and then rang the front door-bell and handed it back." + +"What's the matter, Patty?" Priscilla asked solicitously. "Don't you +feel well?" + +Patty sighed. "I'm getting old," she said. + +"You're getting what?" + +"Old. Soon I'll be thirty, and then forty, and then fifty; and do you +think any one will love me then if I deal in subterfuges and evasions? +Character, my dear girls, is a plant of slow growth, and the seeds must +be planted early." + +"You went and told the committee voluntarily,--of your own +accord,--without even waiting to be called up?" Georgie persisted, +determined to get at the facts of the case. + +"I'm getting old," repeated Patty. "It's time I was getting good. As I +said before, character is a plant--" + +Georgie looked at the others and shook her head in bewilderment, and +Bonnie Connaught laughed and murmured to the room in general: "When +Patty gets to heaven I'm afraid the Recording Angel will have some +trouble in balancing his books." + + * * * * * + +Transcriber's Notes: + +Obvious punctuation errors repaired. + +The original text had each Chapter number and title twice. The first of +these was deleted to aid in ease of reading. + +Page 198, the text that begins "Ireland's eminent astronomer spending" +ends without punctuation to indicate that the reader broke off suddenly. +This was retained. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's When Patty Went to College, by Jean Webster + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHEN PATTY WENT TO COLLEGE *** + +***** This file should be named 21639.txt or 21639.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/1/6/3/21639/ + +Produced by Bruce Albrecht, Emmy and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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