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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/22110-h.zip b/22110-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..be4599f --- /dev/null +++ b/22110-h.zip diff --git a/22110-h/22110-h.htm b/22110-h/22110-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3497bdd --- /dev/null +++ b/22110-h/22110-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1056 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of Martian V. F. W., by G. L. Vandenburg + </title> + <style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[ XML blockout */ +<!-- + p { margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; + } + h1,h2 { + text-align: center; + clear: both; + } + hr { width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; + } + + body{margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + } + + .trans2 {background-color: #E6E6FA; color: inherit; + margin: 3em 15%; padding: 1em; text-align: left;} + + .tease {margin-top: 3em; margin-bottom: 2em; text-align: center;} + .zerop {margin-top: 0em; margin-bottom: 0em;} + + // --> + /* XML end ]]>*/ + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Martian V.F.W., by G.L. Vandenburg + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Martian V.F.W. + +Author: G.L. Vandenburg + +Release Date: July 20, 2007 [EBook #22110] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MARTIAN V.F.W. *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + + + + + + + + +<h1>MARTIAN V. F. W.</h1> + +<h2>By G. L. VANDENBURG</h2> + + + + +<p class="tease"><big><b><i>There's nothing like a parade, I always<br /> +say. Of course, I'm a Martian.</i></b></big></p> + + +<p>Mr. Cruthers was a busy +man. Coordinating the biggest +parade in New York's history +is not easy. He was maneuvering +his two hundred pounds +around Washington Square with +the agility of a quarterback. He +had his hands full organizing +marchers, locating floats, placing +the many brass bands in +their proper order and barking +commands to assistants. But +Mr. Cruthers approached the +job with all the zeal of an evangelist +at a revival meeting.</p> + +<p>As he approached the south-west +corner of the square he saw +something that jarred his already +frayed nerves. He stopped +abruptly. The mass of clipboards +and papers he was carrying fell +to the street. There before him +were one hundred and fifty ants, +each of them at least six feet +tall. His first impulse was to +turn and run for the nearest +doctor. He was certain that the +strain of his job was proving +too much for him. But one of +the ants approached him. It +seemed friendly enough, so Mr. +Cruthers stood his ground.</p> + +<p>"My group is waiting for +their assignment." The ant's +voice seemed to be coming from +the very core of its thorax which +was a violent red.</p> + +<p>"Good Lord!" Mr. Cruthers' +mouth opened up as wide as an +oven door.</p> + +<p>"Mr. Cruthers, I believe the +parade is about to start and my +group—"</p> + +<p>Mr. Cruthers managed to +blurt out. "What the devil <i>are</i> +you anyway!"</p> + +<p>"This <i>is</i> the parade marking +the International Geophysical +Year, is it not?" The ant had a +pleasant, friendly voice.</p> + +<p>"Well, yes, but—"</p> + +<p>"And you are Mr. Cruthers, +the manager of the parade, is +that not correct?"</p> + +<hr style='width: 25%;' /> + +<p>Mr. Cruthers rubbed his eyes +and took another look at the +strange creature. Its head was +a brilliant yellow. It had two +large goggle eyes which rolled +like itinerant marbles when it +spoke. The low slung abdomen +was a burnt brown. It was bad +enough, Cruthers thought, that +these ants were six feet tall, but +it was nightmarish to see them +in three colors.</p> + +<p>"Mr. Cruthers," the ant continued, +"haven't you been instructed +by the National Academy +of Sciences that the Martian +V.F.W. is to participate in +this parade?"</p> + +<p>"The Martian—!!" Mr. Cruthers' +mouth was open again. +Then he realized that when the +ant spoke its mouth didn't move. +He picked up his clipboard and +papers from the street. His voice +was hostile now. "What the hell +is this, some kind of a gag! +What are you trying to do, scare +a man half to death!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, we're not joking, Mr. +Cruthers. The National Academy—"</p> + +<p>"They didn't say anything to +me about a bunch of clowns +dressed up like ants!" Mr. Cruthers' +indignation became intensified. +He was loathe to admit +that he'd been taken in by such +obviously animated costumes. +"Now look here, I'm a very busy +man."</p> + +<p>"The arrangements <i>have</i> been +made, Mr. Cruthers. If my +group is refused a place in this +parade we shall file suit immediately. +As manager you'll be +named co-defendant." The ant +was gentle but firm.</p> + +<p>The thought of being sued +softened Mr. Cruthers' attitude. +"Well, I'm very sorry, pal, but +every contingent in this parade +is listed on my clipboard and +you're not. I know this list by +heart. What did you say the +name of your group was?"</p> + +<p>"The Martian V.F.W."</p> + +<p>Mr. Cruthers was amused. +"Those sure are the craziest outfits +I've ever seen," he chuckled. +"Where'd you get them? Walt +Disney make them for you?" He +followed his own little joke with +a long throaty laugh.</p> + +<p>The ant was impatient. +"About the parade, Mr. Cruthers, +there isn't much time."</p> + +<p>"Oh, yes, the parade. Well, let +me see," he thumbed through +the clipboard, "I guess there's +always room for a few laughs. +How many in your group?"</p> + +<p>"One hundred and fifty. And +we also have a float with us. Not +a very large one. It measures +twenty by twenty."</p> + +<p>"Tell you what. You move +your group to the corner of +Thompson Street and Third +Street. Get behind the Tiffany +float and follow them, okay?"</p> + +<p>The ant paused a moment to +record the instructions in his +mind. Then he turned to leave.</p> + +<p>"Oh, wait a minute," Mr. Cruthers +cried before the ant could +rejoin his group. "Just who did +you speak to at the National +Academy of Sciences?"</p> + +<p>"I believe it was a Mr. Canfield."</p> + +<p>Mr. Cruthers' face lit up. +"Well, why didn't you say so in +the first place! I'd have placed +you right away."</p> + +<p>"That's perfectly all right, +Mr. Cruthers."</p> + +<p>"Listen, I don't know what +you guys do but those costumes +should certainly bring the house +down. There's going to be four +million people watching this parade. +I bet that's the biggest +audience you've ever seen."</p> + +<p>"It certainly is." With that +the ant strode away.</p> + +<p>"Good luck!" Mr. Cruthers +shouted after him.</p> + +<hr style='width: 25%;' /> + +<p>"Daddy! Daddy, look! Look +at the big rocket!" The little boy +jumped up and down gleefully. +"It must be a whole mile long, +Daddy! What kind is it?"</p> + +<p>"That's the Vanguard, son."</p> + +<p>An autumn breeze from the +East River chilled their vantage +point at Sixty-First Street and +Fifth Avenue.</p> + +<p>"The Vanguard?" The name +meant nothing to the boy. "Gee, +I'll bet it can fly all the way to +the stars!"</p> + +<p>"It's the rocket that carried +the first artificial satellite into +space."</p> + +<p>The parade, now three hours +old, continued past the reviewing +stand.</p> + +<p>"I wanna get a better look at +the Vanguard!" the boy shouted.</p> + +<p>The father lifted the boy onto +his shoulders. The little fellow +laughed and whooped it up, firing +several shots from his Captain +Video Ray gun at the passing +missile.</p> + +<p>The rocket moved on and the +noise of the crowd diminished +slightly.</p> + +<p>A one-hundred piece brass +band was passing in front of +them. They were playing "The +Stars and Stripes Forever." +They were followed by the Sak's +Fifth Avenue display; nine +small floats, each depicting life +on another planet. The National +Academy of Sciences had a success +on its hands.</p> + +<p>"Wow! Daddy, I wanna ride +on it! I wanna ride on that float +and visit all those planets! Can +I, Daddy!" The boy became all +limbs trying to squirm down +from his father's shoulders.</p> + +<p>"You stay right where you are, +young man," the father struggled +to hold his balance.</p> + +<p>"But I wanna go to the stars. +I can watch the rest of the parade +from Venus or Mercury! +Please, Daddy!"</p> + +<p>The father grinned. "Not just +yet, son, but it won't be long +before man will go to the stars."</p> + +<p>"Who lives up there, Daddy?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, there isn't any life up +there yet."</p> + +<p>"If no one's living up there +why does anyone want to go +there?"</p> + +<p>"Well, maybe there'll be too +many people on earth someday +and then we'll have to find other +planets with more room."</p> + +<p>Another monstrous brass +band was going by. The boy became +restless. He began to toy +with his ray gun, half interested +in seeing if there were any +sparks left in it. "Why can't +there be something besides so +many bands in a parade? I wanna +see another float."</p> + +<p>The father tried to interest +the boy by pointing out all the +famous people who were also +there: a variety of statesmen +the world's leading scientists +and religious and cultural leaders, +the president of the United +States.</p> + +<hr style='width: 25%;' /> + +<p>The boy was interested but +not in what his elder was saying +to him. He was looking downtown, +his eyes squinting, trying +to make out figures as far away +as Fifty-sixth Street. Then his +mouth opened, not uttering a +sound yet, just waiting to burst +with joy at what was coming toward +them.</p> + +<p>His father looked up at him. +"I wish you'd tell me what you +are looking at. I'm all the way +down here on street level, remember?"</p> + +<p>"Daddy, they look like ants!"</p> + +<p>"What?"</p> + +<p>"Ants, Daddy, ants! A whole +army of them. Ain't it exciting?"</p> + +<p>"What on earth are you talking +about?"</p> + +<p>"They're doing somersaults +and back flips and everything! +They're coming right this way! +Gee, there's hundreds of them. +And they got a float behind +them, Daddy! A great big float +with something burning on it."</p> + +<p>The child sitting on his shoulders +made mobility impossible +for the father. And he couldn't +see around the spectators. He +resigned himself to stand and +wait for this new spectacle to +overtake them. The reaction to +this new sight had already begun +to work its way uptown. In +the distance, but getting closer +every second, he could hear unrestrained +laughter and rejoicing.</p> + +<p>"Hey, take it easy!" The boy +was beginning to ride the shoulders +like a bronco buster. "By +the time they get here I won't +have any shoulders left. Where +are they now?"</p> + +<p>"They're almost here, Daddy! +And they aren't ants at all. +They're just a bunch of clowns +dressed up like it." He began +to giggle hysterically. "Golly, +they're funny. Can you see them +yet, Daddy?"</p> + +<p>Before the father could produce +an answer the ants were +in view. They were a sight that +couldn't fail to stimulate the +funny bone. By comparison with +real ants everything about them +had been grossly exaggerated to +achieve the proper effect. They +walked on their two back legs +but the four front apertures +were far from idle. Some of +them turned somersaults, others +did complicated flips consisting +of two or three spins in mid-air. +Still others, doing a kind of animated +cakewalk, carried toy ray +guns which they fired at random +into the crowd. The guns were +something like the little boy's +Captain Video ray gun, only +larger. They emitted little +streaks of blue sparks which +shone brightly but disappeared +when contact was made with air.</p> + +<p>They were easily the hit of +the parade, a three ring circus +all by themselves, as they +pranced and clowned their way +up Fifth Avenue giving the +spectators a whale of a show +that was completely new.</p> + +<p>The guests on the reviewing +stand refrained from any hilarity +until they saw the float that +four of the ants were pulling behind +them. It was in keeping +with the rest of the nonsense +they were perpetrating. The +float boasted eight larger ray +guns, three on either side and +two in the rear, that fired the +same fascinating blue sparks. +Behind each gun an ant stood on +its head, wildly waving six legs +in the breeze, begging to be noticed +and laughed at. Above the +guns, emblazoned in fiery orange +letters, were the words: "MARTIAN +V.F.W." This was interpreted +by one and all as a punch +line and was treated accordingly.</p> + +<p>It was heartwarming to be +able to see the president and so +many other dignitaries abandon +composure in favor of a good old +fashioned belly laugh.</p> + +<p>"Daddy, I can't laugh any +more," the boy had to pause between +every other word. "My +stomach hurts. Aren't they the +funniest things you ever saw?"</p> + +<p>The father was too convulsed +to be able to answer him.</p> + +<p>"Daddy, one of them is coming +this way! He's firing his +Captain Video ray gun at us!" +They boy squeezed his father +and held on tight.</p> + +<p>The father took a deep breath +in order to be able to speak. +"Take your gun and fire back +at him, son. Fire away! Go on, +he's just being playful!" He +broke forth with another gust +of laughter. "I won't see anything +as funny as this again if +I live to be a hundred!"</p> + +<p>The ant pranced over to where +they were standing, firing its +gun in every direction. The boy +fired back. The ant took one look +at the lad's gun and let out a +long cackling sound which built +to a crescendo and then stopped +as though it had been turned off. +The ant rejoined the group and +they continued on their merry +way.</p> + +<hr style='width: 25%;' /> + +<p>The boy fired several shots into +the float as it passed. He +wanted to see if he could knock +out those blazing orange letters: +MARTIAN V.F.W. The letters +continued to burn, but in the +boy's mind he was certain he +had made several direct hits.</p> + +<p>The boy and his father watched +the float until it was out of +sight. They knew there wouldn't +be another attraction like those +ants. They must have been real +professionals, the father +thought. Such teamwork! Such +precision! Each one of them +having a specific job to do and +each doing it to perfection. +After them everything was +bound to be anticlimactic.</p> + +<p>More marchers, more bands, a +few more floats. The boy was +beginning to tire. It had been a +long day. Now everything was +dull. "Daddy, I don't want to +see any more. Let's go home."</p> + +<p>"We'll stay another five minutes."</p> + +<hr style='width: 25%;' /> + +<p>The parade somehow seemed +to be slowing down. The father +yawned and let his son down +from his shoulders. He looked +across the street at the president +and the other dignitaries on the +reviewing stand. All were slowly +raising their hands in salute as +another color guard drowsily +made its way by.</p> + +<p>Soon the last group in the parade +was passing the reviewing +stand. Another brass band. They +were moving with the speed of +a glacier. A full five seconds +elapsed between each note of +music. Everything was happening +in slow motion. On the reviewing +stand the dignified +hands went up, agonizingly +slow, to a final salute and they +stayed there. The greatest +minds in the world stood motionless, +unalterably still. Just as +each wave of pandemonium had +unfurled itself up Fifth Avenue +during the parade, so now did +silence take command.</p> + +<p>The little boy tugged at his +father's coat. "Daddy! Daddy," +he pleaded, "why has the parade +stopped? I wan-na-go-home—" +His words came more slowly +with each passing second, like a +high speed phonograph playing +at thirty-three and a third r.p.m. +"Dad-dy—why—don't—you—an—swer—me—Da—ddy—why—don't—" +His +father never heard him.</p> + +<hr style='width: 25%;' /> + +<p>Fifty miles above the Atlantic +the fleet of spaceships hung suspended +like lanterns. In the lead +ship the ant in charge of communications +reported to the +commander.</p> + +<p>"We've just received the first +communique from the advance +guard, sir."</p> + +<p>"Read it to me."</p> + +<p>The communications chief +read from a large perforated +paper. "Time—0600—mission +accomplished. Manhattan island +cut down the middle—immediate +result of super-isonic rays; four +million dead—rays spreading +east and west—estimated time +of rays' full effect; 0800—island +will then be neutralized—awaiting +further orders." The ant +folded the paper and looked up +at the commander. "Shall I relay +further orders, sir?"</p> + +<p>"No." The commander of the +ants paused and stroked his +chin. "We're moving in."</p> + + +<p class="tease"><big><b>THE END</b></big></p> + + +<div class="trans2"><p class="zerop"><b>Transcriber's Note:</b><br />This etext was produced from <i>Amazing Science Fiction Stories</i> May 1959. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and typographical errors have been corrected without note.</p></div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Martian V.F.W., by G.L. 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Vandenburg + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Martian V.F.W. + +Author: G.L. Vandenburg + +Release Date: July 20, 2007 [EBook #22110] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MARTIAN V.F.W. *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + +MARTIAN V. F. W. + +By G. L. VANDENBURG + + + + + _There's nothing like a parade, I always + say. Of course, I'm a Martian._ + + +Mr. Cruthers was a busy man. Coordinating the biggest parade in New +York's history is not easy. He was maneuvering his two hundred pounds +around Washington Square with the agility of a quarterback. He had his +hands full organizing marchers, locating floats, placing the many brass +bands in their proper order and barking commands to assistants. But Mr. +Cruthers approached the job with all the zeal of an evangelist at a +revival meeting. + +As he approached the south-west corner of the square he saw something +that jarred his already frayed nerves. He stopped abruptly. The mass of +clipboards and papers he was carrying fell to the street. There before +him were one hundred and fifty ants, each of them at least six feet +tall. His first impulse was to turn and run for the nearest doctor. He +was certain that the strain of his job was proving too much for him. But +one of the ants approached him. It seemed friendly enough, so Mr. +Cruthers stood his ground. + +"My group is waiting for their assignment." The ant's voice seemed to be +coming from the very core of its thorax which was a violent red. + +"Good Lord!" Mr. Cruthers' mouth opened up as wide as an oven door. + +"Mr. Cruthers, I believe the parade is about to start and my group--" + +Mr. Cruthers managed to blurt out. "What the devil _are_ you anyway!" + +"This _is_ the parade marking the International Geophysical Year, is it +not?" The ant had a pleasant, friendly voice. + +"Well, yes, but--" + +"And you are Mr. Cruthers, the manager of the parade, is that not +correct?" + + * * * * * + +Mr. Cruthers rubbed his eyes and took another look at the strange +creature. Its head was a brilliant yellow. It had two large goggle eyes +which rolled like itinerant marbles when it spoke. The low slung abdomen +was a burnt brown. It was bad enough, Cruthers thought, that these ants +were six feet tall, but it was nightmarish to see them in three colors. + +"Mr. Cruthers," the ant continued, "haven't you been instructed by the +National Academy of Sciences that the Martian V.F.W. is to participate +in this parade?" + +"The Martian--!!" Mr. Cruthers' mouth was open again. Then he realized +that when the ant spoke its mouth didn't move. He picked up his +clipboard and papers from the street. His voice was hostile now. "What +the hell is this, some kind of a gag! What are you trying to do, scare a +man half to death!" + +"Oh, we're not joking, Mr. Cruthers. The National Academy--" + +"They didn't say anything to me about a bunch of clowns dressed up like +ants!" Mr. Cruthers' indignation became intensified. He was loathe to +admit that he'd been taken in by such obviously animated costumes. "Now +look here, I'm a very busy man." + +"The arrangements _have_ been made, Mr. Cruthers. If my group is refused +a place in this parade we shall file suit immediately. As manager you'll +be named co-defendant." The ant was gentle but firm. + +The thought of being sued softened Mr. Cruthers' attitude. "Well, I'm +very sorry, pal, but every contingent in this parade is listed on my +clipboard and you're not. I know this list by heart. What did you say +the name of your group was?" + +"The Martian V.F.W." + +Mr. Cruthers was amused. "Those sure are the craziest outfits I've ever +seen," he chuckled. "Where'd you get them? Walt Disney make them for +you?" He followed his own little joke with a long throaty laugh. + +The ant was impatient. "About the parade, Mr. Cruthers, there isn't much +time." + +"Oh, yes, the parade. Well, let me see," he thumbed through the +clipboard, "I guess there's always room for a few laughs. How many in +your group?" + +"One hundred and fifty. And we also have a float with us. Not a very +large one. It measures twenty by twenty." + +"Tell you what. You move your group to the corner of Thompson Street and +Third Street. Get behind the Tiffany float and follow them, okay?" + +The ant paused a moment to record the instructions in his mind. Then he +turned to leave. + +"Oh, wait a minute," Mr. Cruthers cried before the ant could rejoin his +group. "Just who did you speak to at the National Academy of Sciences?" + +"I believe it was a Mr. Canfield." + +Mr. Cruthers' face lit up. "Well, why didn't you say so in the first +place! I'd have placed you right away." + +"That's perfectly all right, Mr. Cruthers." + +"Listen, I don't know what you guys do but those costumes should +certainly bring the house down. There's going to be four million people +watching this parade. I bet that's the biggest audience you've ever +seen." + +"It certainly is." With that the ant strode away. + +"Good luck!" Mr. Cruthers shouted after him. + + * * * * * + +"Daddy! Daddy, look! Look at the big rocket!" The little boy jumped up +and down gleefully. "It must be a whole mile long, Daddy! What kind is +it?" + +"That's the Vanguard, son." + +An autumn breeze from the East River chilled their vantage point at +Sixty-First Street and Fifth Avenue. + +"The Vanguard?" The name meant nothing to the boy. "Gee, I'll bet it can +fly all the way to the stars!" + +"It's the rocket that carried the first artificial satellite into +space." + +The parade, now three hours old, continued past the reviewing stand. + +"I wanna get a better look at the Vanguard!" the boy shouted. + +The father lifted the boy onto his shoulders. The little fellow laughed +and whooped it up, firing several shots from his Captain Video Ray gun +at the passing missile. + +The rocket moved on and the noise of the crowd diminished slightly. + +A one-hundred piece brass band was passing in front of them. They were +playing "The Stars and Stripes Forever." They were followed by the Sak's +Fifth Avenue display; nine small floats, each depicting life on another +planet. The National Academy of Sciences had a success on its hands. + +"Wow! Daddy, I wanna ride on it! I wanna ride on that float and visit +all those planets! Can I, Daddy!" The boy became all limbs trying to +squirm down from his father's shoulders. + +"You stay right where you are, young man," the father struggled to hold +his balance. + +"But I wanna go to the stars. I can watch the rest of the parade from +Venus or Mercury! Please, Daddy!" + +The father grinned. "Not just yet, son, but it won't be long before man +will go to the stars." + +"Who lives up there, Daddy?" + +"Oh, there isn't any life up there yet." + +"If no one's living up there why does anyone want to go there?" + +"Well, maybe there'll be too many people on earth someday and then we'll +have to find other planets with more room." + +Another monstrous brass band was going by. The boy became restless. He +began to toy with his ray gun, half interested in seeing if there were +any sparks left in it. "Why can't there be something besides so many +bands in a parade? I wanna see another float." + +The father tried to interest the boy by pointing out all the famous +people who were also there: a variety of statesmen the world's leading +scientists and religious and cultural leaders, the president of the +United States. + + * * * * * + +The boy was interested but not in what his elder was saying to him. He +was looking downtown, his eyes squinting, trying to make out figures as +far away as Fifty-sixth Street. Then his mouth opened, not uttering a +sound yet, just waiting to burst with joy at what was coming toward +them. + +His father looked up at him. "I wish you'd tell me what you are looking +at. I'm all the way down here on street level, remember?" + +"Daddy, they look like ants!" + +"What?" + +"Ants, Daddy, ants! A whole army of them. Ain't it exciting?" + +"What on earth are you talking about?" + +"They're doing somersaults and back flips and everything! They're coming +right this way! Gee, there's hundreds of them. And they got a float +behind them, Daddy! A great big float with something burning on it." + +The child sitting on his shoulders made mobility impossible for the +father. And he couldn't see around the spectators. He resigned himself +to stand and wait for this new spectacle to overtake them. The reaction +to this new sight had already begun to work its way uptown. In the +distance, but getting closer every second, he could hear unrestrained +laughter and rejoicing. + +"Hey, take it easy!" The boy was beginning to ride the shoulders like a +bronco buster. "By the time they get here I won't have any shoulders +left. Where are they now?" + +"They're almost here, Daddy! And they aren't ants at all. They're just a +bunch of clowns dressed up like it." He began to giggle hysterically. +"Golly, they're funny. Can you see them yet, Daddy?" + +Before the father could produce an answer the ants were in view. They +were a sight that couldn't fail to stimulate the funny bone. By +comparison with real ants everything about them had been grossly +exaggerated to achieve the proper effect. They walked on their two back +legs but the four front apertures were far from idle. Some of them +turned somersaults, others did complicated flips consisting of two or +three spins in mid-air. Still others, doing a kind of animated cakewalk, +carried toy ray guns which they fired at random into the crowd. The +guns were something like the little boy's Captain Video ray gun, only +larger. They emitted little streaks of blue sparks which shone brightly +but disappeared when contact was made with air. + +They were easily the hit of the parade, a three ring circus all by +themselves, as they pranced and clowned their way up Fifth Avenue giving +the spectators a whale of a show that was completely new. + +The guests on the reviewing stand refrained from any hilarity until they +saw the float that four of the ants were pulling behind them. It was in +keeping with the rest of the nonsense they were perpetrating. The float +boasted eight larger ray guns, three on either side and two in the rear, +that fired the same fascinating blue sparks. Behind each gun an ant +stood on its head, wildly waving six legs in the breeze, begging to be +noticed and laughed at. Above the guns, emblazoned in fiery orange +letters, were the words: "MARTIAN V.F.W." This was interpreted by one +and all as a punch line and was treated accordingly. + +It was heartwarming to be able to see the president and so many other +dignitaries abandon composure in favor of a good old fashioned belly +laugh. + +"Daddy, I can't laugh any more," the boy had to pause between every +other word. "My stomach hurts. Aren't they the funniest things you ever +saw?" + +The father was too convulsed to be able to answer him. + +"Daddy, one of them is coming this way! He's firing his Captain Video +ray gun at us!" They boy squeezed his father and held on tight. + +The father took a deep breath in order to be able to speak. "Take your +gun and fire back at him, son. Fire away! Go on, he's just being +playful!" He broke forth with another gust of laughter. "I won't see +anything as funny as this again if I live to be a hundred!" + +The ant pranced over to where they were standing, firing its gun in +every direction. The boy fired back. The ant took one look at the lad's +gun and let out a long cackling sound which built to a crescendo and +then stopped as though it had been turned off. The ant rejoined the +group and they continued on their merry way. + + * * * * * + +The boy fired several shots into the float as it passed. He wanted to +see if he could knock out those blazing orange letters: MARTIAN V.F.W. +The letters continued to burn, but in the boy's mind he was certain he +had made several direct hits. + +The boy and his father watched the float until it was out of sight. They +knew there wouldn't be another attraction like those ants. They must +have been real professionals, the father thought. Such teamwork! Such +precision! Each one of them having a specific job to do and each doing +it to perfection. After them everything was bound to be anticlimactic. + +More marchers, more bands, a few more floats. The boy was beginning to +tire. It had been a long day. Now everything was dull. "Daddy, I don't +want to see any more. Let's go home." + +"We'll stay another five minutes." + + * * * * * + +The parade somehow seemed to be slowing down. The father yawned and let +his son down from his shoulders. He looked across the street at the +president and the other dignitaries on the reviewing stand. All were +slowly raising their hands in salute as another color guard drowsily +made its way by. + +Soon the last group in the parade was passing the reviewing stand. +Another brass band. They were moving with the speed of a glacier. A full +five seconds elapsed between each note of music. Everything was +happening in slow motion. On the reviewing stand the dignified hands +went up, agonizingly slow, to a final salute and they stayed there. The +greatest minds in the world stood motionless, unalterably still. Just as +each wave of pandemonium had unfurled itself up Fifth Avenue during the +parade, so now did silence take command. + +The little boy tugged at his father's coat. "Daddy! Daddy," he +pleaded, "why has the parade stopped? I wan-na-go-home--" His +words came more slowly with each passing second, like a high +speed phonograph playing at thirty-three and a third r.p.m. +"Dad-dy--why--don't--you--an--swer--me--Da--ddy--why--don't--" His +father never heard him. + + * * * * * + +Fifty miles above the Atlantic the fleet of spaceships hung suspended +like lanterns. In the lead ship the ant in charge of communications +reported to the commander. + +"We've just received the first communique from the advance guard, sir." + +"Read it to me." + +The communications chief read from a large perforated paper. +"Time--0600--mission accomplished. Manhattan island cut down the +middle--immediate result of super-isonic rays; four million dead--rays +spreading east and west--estimated time of rays' full effect; +0800--island will then be neutralized--awaiting further orders." The ant +folded the paper and looked up at the commander. "Shall I relay further +orders, sir?" + +"No." The commander of the ants paused and stroked his chin. "We're +moving in." + + +THE END + + + + +Transcriber's Note: + +This etext was produced from _Amazing Science Fiction Stories_ May 1959. +Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright +on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and typographical errors +have been corrected without note. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Martian V.F.W., by G.L. Vandenburg + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MARTIAN V.F.W. *** + +***** This file should be named 22110.txt or 22110.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/2/1/1/22110/ + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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