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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/24118-h.zip b/24118-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..cf951ac --- /dev/null +++ b/24118-h.zip diff --git a/24118-h/24118-h.htm b/24118-h/24118-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4534902 --- /dev/null +++ b/24118-h/24118-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,714 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of We Didn't Do Anything Wrong, Hardly, by Roger Kuykendall. + </title> + <style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[ XML blockout */ +<!-- + p { margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; + } + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; + } + hr { width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; + } + + table {margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;} + + body{margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + } + + .pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ + /* visibility: hidden; */ + position: absolute; + left: 92%; + font-size: smaller; + text-align: right; + } /* page numbers */ + + .linenum {position: absolute; top: auto; left: 4%;} /* poetry number */ + .blockquot{margin-left: 5%; margin-right: 10%;} + .sidenote {width: 20%; padding-bottom: .5em; padding-top: .5em; + padding-left: .5em; padding-right: .5em; margin-left: 1em; + float: right; clear: right; margin-top: 1em; + font-size: smaller; color: black; background: #eeeeee; border: dashed 1px;} + + .bb {border-bottom: solid 2px;} + .bl {border-left: solid 2px;} + .bt {border-top: solid 2px;} + .br {border-right: solid 2px;} + .bbox {border: solid 2px;} + + .center {text-align: center;} + .smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + .u {text-decoration: underline;} + + .caption {font-weight: bold;} + + .figcenter {margin: auto; text-align: center;} + + .figleft {float: left; clear: left; margin-left: 0; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: + 1em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 0; text-align: center;} + + .figright {float: right; clear: right; margin-left: 1em; margin-bottom: 1em; + margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0; padding: 0; text-align: center;} + + .footnotes {border: dashed 1px;} + .footnote {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;} + .footnote .label {position: absolute; right: 84%; text-align: right;} + .fnanchor {vertical-align: super; font-size: .8em; text-decoration: none;} + + .poem {margin-left:10%; margin-right:10%; text-align: left;} + .poem br {display: none;} + .poem .stanza {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;} + .poem span.i0 {display: block; margin-left: 0em; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + .poem span.i2 {display: block; margin-left: 2em; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + .poem span.i4 {display: block; margin-left: 4em; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + // --> + /* XML end ]]>*/ + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +Project Gutenberg's We Didn't Do Anything Wrong, Hardly, by Roger Kuykendall + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: We Didn't Do Anything Wrong, Hardly + +Author: Roger Kuykendall + +Illustrator: Freas + +Release Date: January 2, 2008 [EBook #24118] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Bruce Albrecht, Mary Meehan and +the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + + + + + + + + +<h1>WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG, HARDLY</h1> + +<h2>By ROGER KUYKENDALL</h2> + +<h3>Illustrated by Freas</h3> + +<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Astounding Science +Fiction May 1959. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that +the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> +<div class="figcenter"> +<a href="images/hardly1.jpg"><img src="images/hardly1.jpg" alt=""/></a> +</div> +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<div class="blockquot"><p><i>After all—they only borrowed it a little while, just to fix it—</i></p></div> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>I mean, it isn't like we swiped anything. We maybe borrowed a couple of +things, like. But, gee, we put everything back like we found it, pretty +near.</p> + +<p>Even like the compressor we got from Stinky Brinker that his old man +wasn't using and I traded my outboard motor for, my old m ... my father +made me trade back. But it was like Skinny said ... You know, Skinny. +Skinny Thompson. He's the one you guys keep calling the boy genius, but +shucks, he's no ...</p> + +<p>Well, yeah, it's like Skinny said, we didn't need an outboard motor, and +we did need a compressor. You've got to have a compressor on a +spaceship, everybody knows that. And that old compression chamber that +old man ... I mean <i>Mr.</i> Fields let us use didn't have a compressor.</p> + +<p>Sure he said we could use it. Anyway he said we could play with it, and +Skinny said we were going to make a spaceship out of it, and he said go +ahead.</p> + +<p>Well, no, he didn't say it exactly like that. I mean, well, like he +didn't take it serious, sort of.</p> + +<p>Anyway, it made a swell spaceship. It had four portholes on it and an +air lock and real bunks in it and lots of room for all that stuff that +Skinny put in there. But it didn't have a compressor and that's why ...</p> + +<p>What stuff? Oh, you know, the stuff that Skinny put in there. Like the +radar he made out of a TV set and the antigravity and the atomic power +plant he invented to run it all with.</p> + +<p>He's awful smart, Skinny is, but he's not like what you think of a +genius. You know, he's not all the time using big words, and he doesn't +look like a genius. I mean, we call him Skinny 'cause he used to +be—Skinny.</p> + +<p>But he isn't now, I mean he's maybe small for his age, anyway he's +smaller than me, and I'm the same age as he is. 'Course, I'm big for my +age, so that doesn't mean much, does it?</p> + +<p>Well, I guess Stinker Brinker started it. He's always riding Skinny +about one thing or another, but Skinny never gets mad and it's a good +thing for Stinker, too. I saw Skinny clean up on a bunch of ninth +graders ... Well, a couple of them anyway. They were saying ... Well, I +guess I won't tell you what they were saying. Anyway, Skinny used judo, +I guess, because there wasn't much of a fight.</p> + +<p>Anyway, Stinker said something about how he was going to be a rocket +pilot when he grew up, and I told him that Skinny had told me that there +wouldn't be any rockets, and that antigravity would be the thing as soon +as it was invented. So Stinker said it never would be invented, and I +said it would so, and he said it would not, and I said ...</p> + +<p>Well, if you're going to keep interrupting me, how can I ...</p> + +<p>All right. Anyway, Skinny broke into the argument and said that he could +prove mathematically that antigravity was possible, and Stinky said +suure he could, and Skinny said sure he could, and Stinky said suuure he +could, like that. Honestly, is that any way to argue? I mean it sounds +like two people agreeing, only Stinky keeps going suuure, like that, you +know? And Stinky, what does he know about mathematics? He's had to take +Remedial Arithmetic ever since ...</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>No, I don't understand how the antigravity works. Skinny told me, but it +was something about meson flow and stuff like that that I didn't +understand. The atomic power plant made more sense.</p> + +<p>Where did we get what uranium? Gee, no, we couldn't afford uranium, so +Skinny invented a hydrogen fusion plant. Anyone can make hydrogen. You +just take zinc and sulfuric acid and ...</p> + +<p>Deuterium? You mean like heavy hydrogen? No, Skinny said it would +probably work better, but like I said, we couldn't afford anything +fancy. As it was, Skinny had to pay five or six dollars for that special +square tubing in the antigravity, and the plastic space helmets we had +cost us ninety-eight cents each. And it cost a dollar and a half for +the special tube that Skinny needed to make the TV set into a radar.</p> + +<p>You see, we didn't steal anything, really. It was mostly stuff that was +just lying around. Like the TV set was up in my attic, and the old +refrigerator that Skinny used the parts to make the atomic power plant +out of from. And then, a lot of the stuff we already had. Like the skin +diving suits we made into spacesuits and the vacuum pump that Skinny had +already and the generator.</p> + +<p>Sure, we did a lot of skin diving, but that was last summer. That's how +we knew about old man Brinker's compressor that Stinky said was his and +I traded my outboard motor for and had to trade back. And that's how we +knew about Mr. Fields' old compression chamber, and all like that.</p> + +<p>The rocket? Well, it works on the same principle as the atomic power +plant, only it doesn't work except in a vacuum, hardly. Course you don't +need much of a rocket when you have antigravity. Everyone knows that.</p> + +<p>Well, anyway, that's how we built the spaceship, and believe me, it +wasn't easy. I mean with Stinky all the time bothering us and laughing +at us. And I had to do a lot of lawn mowing to get money for the square +tubing for the antigravity and the special tube for the radar, and my +space helmet.</p> + +<p>Stinky called the space helmets kid stuff. He was always saying things +like say hello to the folks on Mars for me, and bring back a bottle of +canal number five, and all like that, you know. Course, they did look +like kid stuff, I guess. We bought them at the five-and-dime, and they +were meant for kids. Of course when Skinny got through with them, they +worked fine.</p> + +<p>We tested them in the air lock of the compression chamber when we got +the compressor in. They tested out pretty good for a half-hour, then we +tried them on in there. Well, it wasn't a complete vacuum, just +twenty-seven inches of mercury, but that was O.K. for a test.</p> + +<p>So anyway, we got ready to take off. Stinky was there to watch, of +course. He was saying things like, farewell, O brave pioneers, and stuff +like that. I mean it was enough to make you sick.</p> + +<p>He was standing there laughing and singing something like up in the air +junior birdmen, but when we closed the air-lock door, we couldn't hear +him. Skinny started up the atomic power plant, and we could see Stinky +laughing fit to kill. It takes a couple of minutes for it to warm up, +you know. So Stinky started throwing rocks to attract our attention, and +Skinny was scared that he'd crack a porthole or something, so he threw +the switch and we took off.</p> + +<p>Boy, you should of seen Stinky's face. I mean you really should of seen +it. One minute he was laughing you know, and the next minute he looked +like a goldfish. I guess he always did look like a goldfish, but I mean +even more like, then. And he was getting smaller and smaller, because we +had taken off.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>We were gone pretty near six hours, and it's a good thing my Mom made me +take a lunch. Sure, I told her where we were going. Well ... anyway I +told her we were maybe going to fly around the world in Skinny and my +spaceship, or maybe go down to Carson's pond. And she made me take a +lunch and made me promise I wouldn't go swimming alone, and I sure +didn't.</p> + +<p>But we did go around the world three or four times. I lost count. Anyway +that's when we saw the satellite—on radar. So Skinny pulled the +spaceship over to it and we got out and looked at it. The spacesuits +worked fine, too.</p> + +<p>Gosh no, we didn't steal it or anything. Like Skinny said, it was just a +menace to navigation, and the batteries were dead, and it wasn't working +right anyway. So we tied it onto the spaceship and took it home. No, we +had to tie it on top, it was too big to take inside with the antennas +sticking out. Course, we found out how to fold them later.</p> + +<p>Well, anyway the next day, the Russians started squawking about a +capitalist plot, and someone had swiped their satellite. Gee, I mean +with all the satellites up there, who'd miss just one?</p> + +<p>So I got worried that they'd find out that we took it. Course, I didn't +need to worry, because Stinky told them all right, just like a +tattletale.</p> + +<p>So anyway, after Skinny got the batteries recharged, we put it back. And +then when we landed there were hundreds of people standing around, and +Mr. Anderson from the State Department. I guess you know the rest.</p> + +<p>Except maybe Mr. Anderson started laughing when we told him, and he said +it was the best joke on the Russians he ever heard.</p> + +<p>I guess it is when you think about it. I mean, the Russians complaining +about somebody swiping their satellite and then the State Department +answering a couple of kids borrowed it, but they put it back.</p> + +<p>One thing that bothers me though, we didn't put it back exactly the way +we found it. But I guess it doesn't matter. You see, when we put it +back, we goofed a little. I mean, we put it back in the same orbit, more +or less, but we got it going in the wrong direction.</p> + +<p>THE END</p> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of We Didn't Do Anything Wrong, Hardly, by +Roger Kuykendall + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG *** + +***** This file should be named 24118-h.htm or 24118-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/4/1/1/24118/ + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Bruce Albrecht, Mary Meehan and +the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: We Didn't Do Anything Wrong, Hardly + +Author: Roger Kuykendall + +Illustrator: Freas + +Release Date: January 2, 2008 [EBook #24118] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Bruce Albrecht, Mary Meehan and +the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG, HARDLY + + By ROGER KUYKENDALL + + Illustrated by Freas + +[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Astounding Science +Fiction May 1959. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that +the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] + + + + + _After all--they only borrowed it a little while, just to fix it--_ + + +I mean, it isn't like we swiped anything. We maybe borrowed a couple of +things, like. But, gee, we put everything back like we found it, pretty +near. + +Even like the compressor we got from Stinky Brinker that his old man +wasn't using and I traded my outboard motor for, my old m ... my father +made me trade back. But it was like Skinny said ... You know, Skinny. +Skinny Thompson. He's the one you guys keep calling the boy genius, but +shucks, he's no ... + +Well, yeah, it's like Skinny said, we didn't need an outboard motor, and +we did need a compressor. You've got to have a compressor on a +spaceship, everybody knows that. And that old compression chamber that +old man ... I mean _Mr._ Fields let us use didn't have a compressor. + +Sure he said we could use it. Anyway he said we could play with it, and +Skinny said we were going to make a spaceship out of it, and he said go +ahead. + +Well, no, he didn't say it exactly like that. I mean, well, like he +didn't take it serious, sort of. + +Anyway, it made a swell spaceship. It had four portholes on it and an +air lock and real bunks in it and lots of room for all that stuff that +Skinny put in there. But it didn't have a compressor and that's why ... + +What stuff? Oh, you know, the stuff that Skinny put in there. Like the +radar he made out of a TV set and the antigravity and the atomic power +plant he invented to run it all with. + +He's awful smart, Skinny is, but he's not like what you think of a +genius. You know, he's not all the time using big words, and he doesn't +look like a genius. I mean, we call him Skinny 'cause he used to +be--Skinny. + +But he isn't now, I mean he's maybe small for his age, anyway he's +smaller than me, and I'm the same age as he is. 'Course, I'm big for my +age, so that doesn't mean much, does it? + +Well, I guess Stinker Brinker started it. He's always riding Skinny +about one thing or another, but Skinny never gets mad and it's a good +thing for Stinker, too. I saw Skinny clean up on a bunch of ninth +graders ... Well, a couple of them anyway. They were saying ... Well, I +guess I won't tell you what they were saying. Anyway, Skinny used judo, +I guess, because there wasn't much of a fight. + +Anyway, Stinker said something about how he was going to be a rocket +pilot when he grew up, and I told him that Skinny had told me that there +wouldn't be any rockets, and that antigravity would be the thing as soon +as it was invented. So Stinker said it never would be invented, and I +said it would so, and he said it would not, and I said ... + +Well, if you're going to keep interrupting me, how can I ... + +All right. Anyway, Skinny broke into the argument and said that he could +prove mathematically that antigravity was possible, and Stinky said +suure he could, and Skinny said sure he could, and Stinky said suuure he +could, like that. Honestly, is that any way to argue? I mean it sounds +like two people agreeing, only Stinky keeps going suuure, like that, you +know? And Stinky, what does he know about mathematics? He's had to take +Remedial Arithmetic ever since ... + + * * * * * + +No, I don't understand how the antigravity works. Skinny told me, but it +was something about meson flow and stuff like that that I didn't +understand. The atomic power plant made more sense. + +Where did we get what uranium? Gee, no, we couldn't afford uranium, so +Skinny invented a hydrogen fusion plant. Anyone can make hydrogen. You +just take zinc and sulfuric acid and ... + +Deuterium? You mean like heavy hydrogen? No, Skinny said it would +probably work better, but like I said, we couldn't afford anything +fancy. As it was, Skinny had to pay five or six dollars for that special +square tubing in the antigravity, and the plastic space helmets we had +cost us ninety-eight cents each. And it cost a dollar and a half for +the special tube that Skinny needed to make the TV set into a radar. + +You see, we didn't steal anything, really. It was mostly stuff that was +just lying around. Like the TV set was up in my attic, and the old +refrigerator that Skinny used the parts to make the atomic power plant +out of from. And then, a lot of the stuff we already had. Like the skin +diving suits we made into spacesuits and the vacuum pump that Skinny had +already and the generator. + +Sure, we did a lot of skin diving, but that was last summer. That's how +we knew about old man Brinker's compressor that Stinky said was his and +I traded my outboard motor for and had to trade back. And that's how we +knew about Mr. Fields' old compression chamber, and all like that. + +The rocket? Well, it works on the same principle as the atomic power +plant, only it doesn't work except in a vacuum, hardly. Course you don't +need much of a rocket when you have antigravity. Everyone knows that. + +Well, anyway, that's how we built the spaceship, and believe me, it +wasn't easy. I mean with Stinky all the time bothering us and laughing +at us. And I had to do a lot of lawn mowing to get money for the square +tubing for the antigravity and the special tube for the radar, and my +space helmet. + +Stinky called the space helmets kid stuff. He was always saying things +like say hello to the folks on Mars for me, and bring back a bottle of +canal number five, and all like that, you know. Course, they did look +like kid stuff, I guess. We bought them at the five-and-dime, and they +were meant for kids. Of course when Skinny got through with them, they +worked fine. + +We tested them in the air lock of the compression chamber when we got +the compressor in. They tested out pretty good for a half-hour, then we +tried them on in there. Well, it wasn't a complete vacuum, just +twenty-seven inches of mercury, but that was O.K. for a test. + +So anyway, we got ready to take off. Stinky was there to watch, of +course. He was saying things like, farewell, O brave pioneers, and stuff +like that. I mean it was enough to make you sick. + +He was standing there laughing and singing something like up in the air +junior birdmen, but when we closed the air-lock door, we couldn't hear +him. Skinny started up the atomic power plant, and we could see Stinky +laughing fit to kill. It takes a couple of minutes for it to warm up, +you know. So Stinky started throwing rocks to attract our attention, and +Skinny was scared that he'd crack a porthole or something, so he threw +the switch and we took off. + +Boy, you should of seen Stinky's face. I mean you really should of seen +it. One minute he was laughing you know, and the next minute he looked +like a goldfish. I guess he always did look like a goldfish, but I mean +even more like, then. And he was getting smaller and smaller, because we +had taken off. + + * * * * * + +We were gone pretty near six hours, and it's a good thing my Mom made me +take a lunch. Sure, I told her where we were going. Well ... anyway I +told her we were maybe going to fly around the world in Skinny and my +spaceship, or maybe go down to Carson's pond. And she made me take a +lunch and made me promise I wouldn't go swimming alone, and I sure +didn't. + +But we did go around the world three or four times. I lost count. Anyway +that's when we saw the satellite--on radar. So Skinny pulled the +spaceship over to it and we got out and looked at it. The spacesuits +worked fine, too. + +Gosh no, we didn't steal it or anything. Like Skinny said, it was just a +menace to navigation, and the batteries were dead, and it wasn't working +right anyway. So we tied it onto the spaceship and took it home. No, we +had to tie it on top, it was too big to take inside with the antennas +sticking out. Course, we found out how to fold them later. + +Well, anyway the next day, the Russians started squawking about a +capitalist plot, and someone had swiped their satellite. Gee, I mean +with all the satellites up there, who'd miss just one? + +So I got worried that they'd find out that we took it. Course, I didn't +need to worry, because Stinky told them all right, just like a +tattletale. + +So anyway, after Skinny got the batteries recharged, we put it back. And +then when we landed there were hundreds of people standing around, and +Mr. Anderson from the State Department. I guess you know the rest. + +Except maybe Mr. Anderson started laughing when we told him, and he said +it was the best joke on the Russians he ever heard. + +I guess it is when you think about it. I mean, the Russians complaining +about somebody swiping their satellite and then the State Department +answering a couple of kids borrowed it, but they put it back. + +One thing that bothers me though, we didn't put it back exactly the way +we found it. But I guess it doesn't matter. You see, when we put it +back, we goofed a little. I mean, we put it back in the same orbit, more +or less, but we got it going in the wrong direction. + +THE END + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of We Didn't Do Anything Wrong, Hardly, by +Roger Kuykendall + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG *** + +***** This file should be named 24118.txt or 24118.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/4/1/1/24118/ + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Bruce Albrecht, Mary Meehan and +the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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