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+The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Yeoman's Letters, by P. T. Ross,
+Illustrated by P. T. Ross
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: A Yeoman's Letters
+       Third Edition
+
+
+Author: P. T. Ross
+
+
+
+Release Date: January 10, 2009  [eBook #27765]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A YEOMAN'S LETTERS***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, Christine P. Travers, and the Project
+Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (https://www.pgdp.net)
+
+
+
+Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this
+      file which includes the original illustrations.
+      See 27765-h.htm or 27765-h.zip:
+      (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/7/7/6/27765/27765-h/27765-h.htm)
+      or
+      (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/7/7/6/27765/27765-h.zip)
+
+
+Transcriber's note:
+
+      Obvious printer's errors have been corrected. All other
+      inconsistencies are as in the original. The author's
+      spelling has been retained.
+
+      Text enclosed by equal signs was in bold face in the
+      original (=bold=).
+
+      The original book did not have a Table of Contents, and
+      one has been created for the convenience of the reader.
+
+
+
+
+
+A YEOMAN'S LETTERS
+
+by
+
+P. T. ROSS
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+SOME PRESS OPINIONS.
+
+
+=_DAILY TELEGRAPH._=--'... Nothing better of this kind has yet appeared
+than "A Yeoman's Letters," by P. T. Ross.... Bright, breezy, and vivid
+are the stories of his adventures.... Corporal Ross not only writes
+lively prose, but really capital verse. His "Ballad of the Bayonet" is
+particularly smart. He is also a clever draughtsman, and his rough but
+effective caricatures form not the least attractive feature of a very
+pleasant book.'
+
+
+=_STANDARD._=--'In "A Yeoman's Letters," Mr. P. T. Ross has written the
+liveliest book about the War which has yet appeared. Whatever amusement
+can be extracted from a tragic theme will be found in his vivacious
+"Letters." He seems one of those high-spirited and versatile young men
+who notice the humorous side of everything, and can add to the jollity
+of a company by a story, a song, an "impromptu" poem, or a pencilled
+caricature.'
+
+
+=_SCOTSMAN._=--'The war literature now includes books of all sorts; but
+there is nothing in it more racy or readable than this collection of
+letters, what may be called familiar letters to the general public....
+In spite of its subject, there is more fun than anything else in the
+book.... But a deeper interest is not lacking to the book, either in its
+animated descriptions of serious affairs or in the substantial gravity
+which a discerning reader will see between the lines of voluble and
+entertaining talk.'
+
+
+=_CHRONICLE.=_--'Our Yeoman is a droll fellow, a facetious dog, whether
+with pen or sketching pencil, and we laughed heartily at many of his
+japes and roughly-drawn sketches.'
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+[Illustration: CORPL. P. T. ROSS.]
+
+
+A YEOMAN'S LETTERS
+
+by
+
+P. T. ROSS
+
+(_Late Corporal 69th Sussex Company I.Y._)
+
+Illustrated by the Author.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                     "And you, good Yeomen,
+  Whose limbs were made in England, show us here
+  The mettle of your pasture; let us swear
+  That you are worth your breeding; which I doubt not."
+
+                                          _Shakespeare._
+
+
+
+Third Edition.
+
+London:
+Simpkin, Marshall, Hamilton,
+Kent & Co., Limited.
+1901.
+
+Printed by Burfield & Pennells,
+Hastings.
+
+
+
+
+TABLE OF CONTENTS
+
+   FOREWORD.
+      The Sussex Yeomanry.
+
+   PART 1.
+      On the Trek.
+
+   WITH ROBERTS.
+      The Occupation of Johannesburg.
+      Pretoria Taken.
+      Diamond Hill and After.
+      Back to Pretoria.
+      Entertaining a Guest.
+      The Mails Arrive.
+      The Nitral's Nek Disaster.
+
+   WITH MAHON.
+      A General Advance to Balmoral and Back.
+      To Rustenburg.
+      Ambushed.
+      Heavy Work for the Recording Angel.
+      Relief of Eland's River Garrison. Join in the great De Wet hunt.
+      After De Wet.
+      The Yeoman, the Argentine and the Farrier-Sergeant.
+      Commandeering by Order.
+
+   WITH CLEMENTS.
+      Cattle Lifting.
+      Delarey gives us a Field Day.
+      Burnt to Death.
+      The Infection of Spring again.
+      Death of Lieutenant Stanley.
+      His Burial.
+      Promoted to Full Corporal.
+      Petty Annoyances--The Nigger.
+      A Wet Night.
+      The Great Egg Trick.
+      Our Friend "Nobby."
+      "The Roughs" leave us for Pretoria.
+      The breaking up of the Composite Squadron.
+      Life on a Kopje.
+      Death and Burial of Captain Hodge.
+      Camp Life at Krugersdorp.
+      Lady Snipers at Work.
+      Treatment of the Sick.
+      Veldt Church Service.
+      Comradeship.
+
+   IN HOSPITAL.
+      The Story of Nooitgedacht.
+      Two Field Hospitals--A Contrast.
+      Christmas in Hospital.
+      The Career of an Untruth.
+      The Sisters' Albums.
+      "Long live the King!"
+      The Irish Fusilier's Ambition.
+      "War without End."
+      Invitations--and a Concert.
+      Our Orderly's Blighted Heart.
+      Southward Ho!
+      R.A.M.C. Experiences and Impressions.
+      The Mythical and Real Officer.
+      The R.A.M.C. Sergeant-Major, and other annoyances.
+      At the Base.
+      Another Album!!
+      Reasons.
+      Home.
+
+
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS.
+
+
+                                                         PAGE
+  "A Hot Time!"                                             2
+  "A Camp Sing-Song"                                        7
+  "The Great Small Game Quest(ion)"                         9
+  "The Mealie and Oat Fatigue"                             23
+  "Stable Guard"                                           31
+  "A Terrible Reckoning"                                   44
+  "Some of the Pomp and Circumstance of Glorious War"      52
+  "A New Rig-out"                                          58
+  "Oliver Twist on the Veldt"                              65
+  "Hate"                                                   68
+  "Mails Up"                                               87
+  "I'kona"                                                 89
+  "Nobby"                                                  94
+  "Consolation"                                           112
+  "On Pass"                                               114
+  "A Peep at Our Domestic Life"                           118
+  "Hymns and their Singers"                               129
+  "A Friendly Boer Family"                                141
+  "Well, it's the best Oi can do for yez"                 144
+  "Sick" and "Who said C.I.V.'s?"                         148
+  "Got His Ticket"                                        153
+  "The Thoughtless Sister"                                156
+  "God Save the King"                                     159
+  "Tommy's Spittoon"                                      171
+
+
+
+
+FOREWORD.
+
+
+"More khaki," sniffed a bored but charming lady, as she glanced at a
+picture of the poor Yeomanry at Lindley, and then hastily turned away to
+something of greater interest. I overheard the foregoing at the Royal
+Academy, soon after my return from South Africa, last May, and thanked
+the Fates that I was in mufti. It was to a certain extent indicative of
+the jaded interest with which the War is now being followed by a large
+proportion of the public at home, the majority of whom, I presume, have
+no near or dear ones concerned in the affair; a public which cheered
+itself hoarse and generally made "a hass" of itself many months ago in
+welcoming certain warriors whose period of active service had been
+somewhat short. I wonder how the veterans of the Natal campaign, the
+gallant Irish Brigade, and others, will be received when they return?
+"Come back from the War! What War?"
+
+And yet in spite of this apathy, "War Books" keep appearing, and here is
+a simple Yeoman thrusting yet another on the British Public. Still
+'twere worse than folly to apologise, for _qui s'excuse, s'accuse_.
+
+The present unpretentious volume is composed of letters written to a
+friend from South Africa, during the past twelve months, with a few
+necessary omissions and additions; the illustrations which have been
+introduced, are reproductions in pen and ink of pencil sketches done on
+the veldt or in hospital. The sole aim throughout has been to represent
+a true picture of the every-day life of a trooper in the Imperial
+Yeomanry. In many cases the "grousing" of the ranker may strike the
+reader as objectionable, and had this record been penned in a
+comfortable study, arm-chair philosophy might have caused many a passage
+to be omitted. But the true campaigning atmosphere would have been
+sacrificed.
+
+As the Sussex Squadron of Imperial Yeomanry was, in popular parlance,
+"on its own" till the end of May, the letters dealing with that period
+have been excluded. However, a brief account of the doings of the
+Squadron up to that time is necessary to give continuity to the story,
+so here it is:
+
+
+THE SUSSEX YEOMANRY.
+
+The Yeomanry is a Volunteer Force, and as is generally known, was
+embodied in Great Britain during the wars of the French Revolution.
+History records that at the period named, the County of Sussex
+possessed one of the finest Corps in England. _Autres temps, autres
+moeurs_, and so from apathy and disuse the Sussex Yeomanry gradually
+dwindled in numbers and importance, until it eventually became
+extinct. Then came the dark days of November and December, in the
+year eighteen-hundred-and-ninety-nine. Who will ever forget them?
+And who does not remember with pride the great outburst of
+patriotism, which, like a volcanic eruption, swept every obstacle
+before it, banishing Party rancour and class prejudice, thus welding
+the British race in one gigantic whole, ready to do and die for the
+honour of the Old Flag, and in defence of the Empire which has been
+built up by the blood and brains of its noblest sons. The call for
+Volunteers for Active Service was answered in a manner which left no
+doubt as to the issue. From North, South, East, and West, came
+offers of units, then tens, then hundreds, and finally, thousands,
+the flower of the Nation, were in arms ready for action. The Hon. T.
+A. Brassey, a Sussex man, holding a commission in the West Kent
+Yeomanry, applied for permission and undertook, early in February,
+1900, to form a squadron of Yeomanry from Sussex. The enlistment was
+principally done at Eastbourne, as were also the preliminary drills.
+We went into quarters at Shorncliffe where we trained until the last
+week in March, when early, very early, one dark cold morning, a
+wailing sleepy drum and fife band played us down to the Shorncliffe
+Station, where we entrained for the Albert Docks, London. There the
+transport "Delphic" received us, together with a squadron of Paget's
+Horse (the 73rd I.Y.), and soon after noon the officers and troopers
+were being borne down the river, and with mixed feelings, were
+beginning to realise they were actually off at last. Many, alas,
+were destined never to return.
+
+It is more amusing than ever, now, to recall the remarks of cheerful,
+chaffing friends, who indulged in sly digs at the poor Yeomen previous
+to their departure. At that time, as now, "the end was in sight" only we
+had not got used to it. It was a common experience to be greeted with,
+"Ha, going out to South Africa! Why it'll be all over before you get
+there," or "Well, it'll be a pleasant little trip there and back, for I
+don't suppose they'll land you." Subsequent experience of troopships has
+dispelled even "the pleasant trip" illusion. Another favourite phrase,
+was "Well, if they do use you, they'll put you on the lines of
+communications." Sometimes a generous friend would confidentially ask,
+"Do you think they'll let you start?" And one, a lady, anxious on
+account of gew-gaws, observed, "Oh, I hope they'll give you a medal."
+
+Eventually the slow but sure S.S. "Delphic," having stopped at St.
+Helena to land bullocks for Cronje, Schiel and their friends, disgorged
+us at Cape Town. Our anxiety as to whether the war was over was soon
+allayed, and we gaily marched, a perspiring company, to Maitland Camp.
+Here amid sand and flies we began to conceive what the real thing would
+be like. An extract or two from letters written while at that salubrious
+spot may serve to give an idea of the life there:
+
+     "This place is a perfect New Jerusalem as regards Sheenies, every
+     civilian about the camp appearing to be a German Jew refugee.
+     They have stalls and sell soap, buns, braces, belts, &c., and so
+     forth. Every now and again a big Semitic proboscis appears at our
+     tent door, and the question 'Does anypody vant to puy a vatch' is
+     propounded."
+
+Hungarian horses were drawn and quartered by our lines, and saddlery
+served out. By-the-way, I have always flattered myself there was at
+least one good thing about the 69th Squadron I.Y., they had excellent
+saddles. The first time we turned out in full marching order was a
+terrible affair, and the following may help to convey an idea of the
+_tout ensemble_ of an erstwhile peaceful citizen:
+
+     "Please imagine me as an average Yeoman in full marching order.
+     Dangling on each side of the saddle are apparently two small
+     hay-ricks in nets; then wallets full, and over them a rolled
+     overcoat and an extra pair of boots. Behind, rolled
+     waterproof-sheet and army blanket, with iron picketing-peg and
+     rope, and mess-tin on top. Elsewhere the close observer mentally
+     notes a half-filled nosebag. So much for the horse, and then,
+     loaded with the implements of war, bristling with cartridges,
+     water-bottle, field-glass, haversack, bayonet and so on, we
+     behold the Yeoman. With great dexterity (not always) he fits
+     himself into the already apparently superfluously-decorated
+     saddle, and once there, though he may wobble about, takes some
+     displacing.
+
+     "I really must remark on the marvellous head for figures that we
+     Yeomen are expected to have. Read this. Comment from myself will
+     be superfluous.
+
+     "My Company number is 51.
+
+     "My regimental number is 16,484.
+
+     "My rifle and bayonet, 2,502.
+
+     "The breech-block and barrel of the rifle are numbered 4,870.
+
+     "My horse's number is 1,388.
+
+     "There may be a few more numbers attached to me; if so, I have
+     overlooked them."
+
+_En passant_, I must mention we were with our proper battalion, the
+14th, commanded by Colonel Brookfield, M.P., at Maitland. Eventually,
+thanks to the fact of his Grace the Duke of Norfolk being attached to
+our squadron, when we got the order to go up country we left the rest of
+the battalion behind at Bloemfontein, cursing, and proceeded by rail as
+far as Smaldeel, where we detrained with our horses and commenced
+treking after the immortal "Bobs."
+
+His Grace's servant, rather an old fellow, did not seem to particularly
+care for campaigning, and, often, dolefully regarding his khaki
+garments, would sorrowfully remark, "To think as 'ow I've served 'im all
+these years, and now 'e should bring me hout 'ere. It does seem 'ard." I
+think a pilgrimage would have been more to his liking.
+
+Our first experience of "watering horses" on the trek was both
+interesting and exciting, it occurred at Smaldeel.
+
+     "The horses we proceeded to water at once; I had the pleasure of
+     taking two and of proving the proverb, _re_ leading horses to the
+     water. _En route_ were dead horses to the right and dead horses
+     to the left; in the water, which was black, one was dying in an
+     apparently contented manner, while another lay within a few
+     yards of it doing the same thing in a don't-care-a-bit sort of
+     way. Regarded from five hours later, I fancy my performances with
+     the two noble steeds in my charge must have been distinctly
+     amusing to view, had anyone been unoccupied enough to watch me.
+     Vainly did I try to induce them to drink of the
+     printer's-ink-like fluid, water and mud, already stirred up by
+     hundreds of other horses. When they did go in, they went for a
+     splash, a paddle, and a roll, not to imbibe, and I had to go with
+     them a little way, nearly up to my knees, in the mud. I have
+     arrived at the conclusion that the noble quadruped is not an
+     altogether pleasant beast. Still, I suppose he has an opinion of
+     us poor mortals. In death he is also far from pleasant, as was
+     conclusively proved when night came on, and a dead one near us
+     began to assert his presence with unnecessary emphasis. Phew!
+     It's all very well saying that a live donkey is better than a
+     dead lion, but judging from my experience of dead horses, which
+     is just commencing, I should say that the dead lion would prove
+     mightily offensive."
+
+The water in the Free State, as a rule, was most unsatisfactory.
+Marching in the wake of an army of about 50,000 men, however, one would
+scarcely expect water to remain unstirred or unpolluted. I always found
+my tea or coffee more enjoyable when the water for it was drawn by
+somebody else. Even though that comrade would jestingly call it
+"Bovril," and unnecessarily explain that the pool it came from contained
+two dead horses and an ox.
+
+One more extract and I have done.
+
+     "Yesterday (Friday, May 25th) we got as far as Leeum Spruit. So
+     far they had succeeded in getting the railway in working order,
+     but there the scene was one of utter destruction, three or four
+     bridges being blown up, and the rails all twisted and sticking up
+     in the air. Hundreds of Kaffirs were at work getting things
+     straight, which to any ordinary person would seem impossible.
+
+     "It is a marvellous sight to see the convoys toiling in the track
+     of Roberts' army, the blown-up bridges and rails, and the
+     deserted farms. Of course, some are still inhabited. It may
+     interest linguists and admirers of Laurence Sterne to know that
+     the language of the British Army in South Africa is the same as
+     it was with our army in Flanders in Uncle Toby's days--of course,
+     allowing for an up-to-date vocabulary.
+
+     "Sunday, May 27th.--Up with the unfortunate early worm, as usual.
+     Our _reveillé_ generally consists of a shout and a kick, as our
+     bugle is not used. It seems hard to realise that to-day is
+     Sunday, and while the church bells at home are ringing, or the
+     service is in progress, we dirty, unshaven beings, who once had
+     part in the far-away life, are either riding or leading our
+     horses across the flat and, in many places, charred veldt, past
+     blown-up bridges, torn-up rails, convoys leisurely drawn by
+     languid oxen, demolished houses, bleached bones of oxen, horses
+     and mules, as well as the so-often-alluded-to dead beasts known
+     by Tommy as 'Roberts' Milestones,' and all that goes to
+     war--glorious war. We are making a fairly long march to-day, as
+     we hope to catch Roberts at last. Anyhow, to-night should see us
+     at the frontier--the Vaal River."
+
+
+
+
+PART I.
+
+ON THE TREK.
+
+WITH ROBERTS.
+
+
+THE OCCUPATION OF JOHANNESBURG.
+
+                                        ORANGE GROVE,
+                                          NEAR JOHANNESBURG.
+                                            _Saturday, June 2nd, 1900._
+
+On Monday, May 28th, at mid-day, we reached the Vaal River, where we
+stopped and took all our superfluous kit off the horses, which left us
+with one blanket per man; were provided with four biscuits each, rations
+for two days, and so with light hearts and saddles, we forded Viljoen's
+Drift; into the Transvaal--at last! We had a long march to catch
+Roberts, but this country provides one with heaps of things to break any
+monotony that might otherwise exist, for it is ever "'Ware wire," "'Ware
+hole," "'Ware rock," or "'Ware ant hill," and now and again in the
+thick, blinding cloud of reddish dust a man and horse go down, and
+another a-top of them. Soon after dark, nearly the whole of the veldt
+around us became illuminated, reminding me of a colossal Brock's Benefit
+or the Jubilee Fleet Illuminations. As a matter of fact, the veldt was
+a-fire. The effect was really wonderful. At about ten o'clock we reached
+the main body, and being informed that Roberts was about four miles
+ahead with the 11th Division, our captain decided to bivouac for the
+night, and catch him up in the morning. After ringing our horses, we
+wandered round in the dark, and finding a convenient cart in a barn,
+soon after had a good enough fire to cook some meat we managed to
+secure, and then, dead fagged, turn in to sleep. [Here I would fain
+mutter an aside. When I was at home, a certain jingo song was much sung,
+perhaps is still; it was entitled, "A hot time in the Transvaal
+to-night." I want to find the man who wrote that song, and get him to
+bivouac with us for a night, at this time of the year, with an overcoat
+and one blanket.] We awoke well covered with frost, and the stars have
+seldom twinkled on a more miserable set of shivering devils than we of
+the 69th Company I.Y. A nibble at a biscuit, no coffee, and we were
+after Roberts. We caught him up after about an hour's riding; the 11th
+Division was moving out as we came up. The Guards' Brigade was going
+forward on our right, and Artillery rolling forward on our left, with
+ambulance waggons, carts, and general camp equipment joining in the
+procession. We moved smartly on, trotting past the Guards' Brigade,
+soldiers straggling on who had fallen out for one reason or another, or
+sitting by the wayside attending to sore feet, till we came up with the
+Staff. Our captain reported himself, and _pro tem._ we were attached to
+Lord Roberts' bodyguard.
+
+[Illustration: "_A hot time!_"]
+
+After a halt for our mid-day grub (we had none, having devoured our
+biscuits and emergency rations about three hours before, for which we
+were severely reprimanded by our captain, the Hon. T. A. B.), we
+proceeded again. At last we reached a ridge, and halting there, we
+beheld the Rand, and about six miles to our left, Johannesburg. A
+railway station having been captured, with about a dozen engines and
+rolling stock, the Army bivouacked for the night. We were in a field by
+a farmhouse, where we bought some meat very cheaply, and had a good
+supper, which would have been all the better had we had bread or even
+the once but now no more despised biscuits to eat with it. The next day
+we received orders to join the 7th Battalion I.Y., so saddled up, and
+passing through Elsburg and the Rose Dip, Primrose, and other mines,
+joined our new Battalion at Germiston. The 7th I.Y. Battalion is a West
+Country one, being composed of the Devon, Dorset, and Somerset Yeomanry
+and has seen some stiff service at Dewetsdorp. In the afternoon I had
+the misfortune to go out with our troop officer and another man to find
+our 4th troop, which had been left behind as baggage guard. Us did he
+lose (oh, the Yeomanry officer!) and when it was dark, we set out to
+find our company in the great camp the other side of Elsburg. What I
+said about that officer as I stumbled over rocks, ant hills, and holes,
+in these, my cooler moments, it would not become my dignity to record.
+The next day, Thursday (my birthday) promised to be an eventful one, and
+was. Johannesburg was to be attacked if it did not surrender by ten
+o'clock. With well-cleaned rifles and tightly-girthed horses, we moved
+out with our Battalion at nine o'clock to take up our position. Our duty
+was to attack the waterworks, if there was any resistance. However, as
+you know, the place capitulated; news was brought to us that the fort
+had surrendered, and we at once rapidly trotted up to it to take
+possession. Arrived outside, we were dismounted and marched into it, and
+drawn up in line facing the flagstaff on the fort wall. Suddenly a
+little ball was run up to the truck, a jerk and the Flag of England, the
+dear old Union Jack, was flying on the walls of the Johannesburg Fort.
+Then we cheered for our Queen, and again, when from somewhere a chromo
+of Her Gracious Majesty was produced and held aloft. Roberts' Raid had
+been successful. The Boer garrison seemed more relieved than depressed.
+Indeed, the commandant's servant gave us all the cold roast beef and
+bread that he had. Guards having been told off, and the horses picketed
+in the Police Barracks Yard, some of us had leave to go into the town. I
+was one of the fortunates. The enthusiasm of the inhabitants and their
+generous treatment of the men in khaki will be long remembered. The
+coloured population all showed great, gleaming rows of teeth, and
+ejaculated what I took to be meant for British cheers. Bread was given
+away, cigars and cigarettes forced (?) upon us, and meals stood right
+and left. A German girl, at a florist's, decorated about half-a-dozen of
+us with red, white and blue buttonholes. We were dirty and unshaven, but
+it mattered not, we were monarchs (_Væ Victis!_) and was it not my
+birthday? Into the shops we went. All were closed, but we persuaded some
+to open, and the good German Jew merchants let us commandeer within
+reason. Haversacks and pockets were filled. The actual prices of things
+were fairly high: sugar 1/6 per lb., condensed milk 2/-, golden syrup
+4/- a small tin, and so on. One of our fellows, after being well fed,
+was sent back to us loaded with boxes of briar pipes to distribute,
+another with socks and vests; others were given Kruger pennies, as
+souvenirs. And all the day, and all the night, through the streets
+marched our troops, rolled and rattled our guns, our carts and waggons.
+And the night, oh, what a night! For seven miles I struggled on in
+charge of our ammunition cart, in search of our company, picking my way
+out of a mass of bullock waggons, carts, mules, and every imaginable
+vehicle; men asking for this brigade and that division on every hand;
+transport officers cursing, conductors exhorting, and niggers yelling
+and cracking whips.
+
+
+PRETORIA TAKEN.
+
+                                        WITHIN SIGHT OF EERSTIE FABRIKEN,
+                                          E. OF PRETORIA.
+                                            _June 10th, 1900._
+
+Fortunately for you in my last I left off rather abruptly in order to
+catch the post, or I should have bored you with a long account of my
+search with our ammunition cart for the company along the road to
+Pretoria from Johannesburg. For seven miles we--a comrade, myself, the
+blank Kaffir driver and mules--struggled and stumbled between long halts
+after our crowd, past waggons, carts, dhoolies, and chaises of all
+descriptions, the drivers of most of which were all inquiring for
+various divisions, brigades, battalions, companies, and such like. At
+last, at about one o'clock, having come up with the 11th Division, we
+halted and outspanned near the Guards' Brigade. At the first sign of
+daybreak I arose, and going forward about a quarter of a mile or less,
+came up with our company. The captain told me to get the mules inspanned
+and follow on. Owing to the infernal slowness of Tom, the driver, we got
+off late and had another terrible search, this time by daylight, to find
+the 7th Battalion I.Y., which at last we found camped at Orange Grove,
+about two miles from where we had bivouacked the preceding night. The
+next day (Sunday) we were looking to spending in a restful way, but this
+was not to be. We suddenly got the order to "saddle up," and forward to
+Pretoria we went. At about two in the afternoon we halted and picketed
+our horses not far from a farm. There rather a curious, though perhaps
+trivial, thing happened. Amongst the hundred-and-one little
+_contretemps_ to which the Imperial Yeoman on active service is heir to,
+I had lost my nosebag on our night march from Johannesburg. This
+contained, besides the horse's feed, a tin of honey--of which I am as
+fond as any bear--and a pot of bloater paste, obtained (good word) at
+the Golden City from a "Sherman Shoe." Well, wandering in the direction
+of the farm, I came near a duck-pond and a clump of small trees, from
+which smoke was arising. My curiosity being aroused, I approached, and
+found that some Australians and Cape Boys were smoking out some bees. I
+arrived in the nick of time, and got a helmet-full of the most delicious
+honey in the comb I have tasted for many a day. On Monday, June 4th, we
+started for what we understood was to be our last march to Pretoria. We
+had the good fortune to be in the advance party. Soon after starting the
+Duke of Norfolk's horse fell in a hole and put his thigh out, so he lost
+the fun, for it was not long before, from the hills ahead of us, came
+rap, rap, and then the rat-tat-tat-tat of a machine gun. We dismounted,
+advanced extended, and opened fire. I aimed at the hills, so I know I
+hit something. The Boers retiring, we (that is the battalion) occupied
+one kopje and then another, the dust flicking up in front of us. Then
+boom! whish-sh-sh! a cloud of red dust shot up, and crack! and their
+artillery had come into action. One shell burst directly over our heads,
+then we were told to retire to our led horses, which necessitated
+crossing a road on which their fire was directed. Needless to say this
+was not an altogether uninteresting proceeding. And so the game went on,
+our guns coming into action in grand style. We got in for rather a warm
+rifle fire once; we galloped up, dismounted, and advanced to the top of
+a kopje which was covered with rather long grass. Buzz-buzz-buzz went
+the busy bullets seeking unwilling billets. They came very close there,
+snipping the grass tops close beside us. Here there were casualties in
+several of the other companies. One of our fellows was shot through the
+leg, and Mr. Ashby was knocked on the waist-belt by a spent bullet or
+piece of shell and rendered unconscious for some time. Later, in
+galloping across an exposed space to occupy another kopje, the captain's
+horse was shot under him, as well as several others. I think that is
+more than enough of the affair; I have no doubt you know better what
+really was done than we. No waggons coming up that night, we had no
+rations nor breakfast next day, so you see we do the thing in style, for
+we had started the day at four and only had a pannikin of coffee and a
+biscuit for breakfast. The next day we heard that the Pretoria Forts had
+surrendered and the Boer Forces withdrawn, and the whole army advanced
+at last on its final march to Pretoria, and this humble _Ego_, who
+months ago at home had thought and talked of this great event, and not
+for a moment anticipated participation in the same, formed a modest unit
+of the victorious horde. However, that day we (the 7th I.Y.) did not go
+into the capital, but camped outside of it. Not to be done, after we had
+picketed our horses, I made my way into a Kaffir suburb near us, and did
+well at a couple of stores, kept by German Jews, coming back with a sack
+of tinned edibles and some Kruger pennies. The next day a friend and I
+were lucky, and got leave into Pretoria. We returned to a grateful and
+enthusiastic troop, laden with quite a score-and-a-half of loaves, at
+six in the evening, and concluded a pleasant day with a high tea (very
+high) and a camp-fire sing-song. "Chorus, gentlemen!":
+
+  It's 'ard to sye good-bye to yer own native land,
+  It's 'ard to give the farewell kiss, and parting grip of the 'and,
+  It's 'ard to leave yer sweetheart, in foreign lands to roam;
+  But it's 'arder still to sye good-bye to the ole folks at 'ome.
+
+[Illustration: _A Camp Sing Song._ "_They call me the Jewel of Asia._"]
+
+That night we entertained several ex-British soldier prisoners from
+Waterval.
+
+My horse (late of the R.H.A.), picked up at Kroonstad, is going very
+strong. He is very useful to me as a means of locomotion, but otherwise
+no good feeling exists between us, for he is the most senseless, clumsy
+brute that I have ever come across in the animal kingdom. He is always
+treading on me and doing other idiotic and annoying acts. A few days ago
+he got entangled in the picketing ropes, and on my going to his
+assistance promptly fell forward upon me (he is the biggest horse I have
+seen in any Yeomanry Company) and nearly broke my instep. I have lately
+re-christened him "Juggernaut," which I think is not an inappropriate
+name. I had not much time to spare when we went into Pretoria, but could
+not help stopping to watch a couple of regiments go through--the Derbies
+with their band and the Camerons with their pipers. It was a grand sight
+to see those dirty, ragged, khaki-clad fellows tramping past the
+Volksraad, over which the Flag was flying, and note the tired but grim
+smile of satisfaction with which they regarded it. Quite two out of
+every four infantrymen I saw limped along with feet sore from marching
+over all sorts of roads and "where there was never a road." Some were
+getting along with the aid of sticks--most, if not all, of the officers
+march with sticks.
+
+On Thursday, June 7th, we were still in camp outside of Pretoria, with a
+hospital, containing interesting cases of leprosy, small-pox and fever
+behind us; and about 200 yards to our left front hundreds of dead horses
+and a few vultures. At mid-day the usual unexpected thing happened, and
+it was "saddle up," and off we rode through the captured capital,
+passing Kruger's house, with the two lions outside the entrance,
+presented to him by Barney Barnato, and a group of typical old Boers
+seated at a table on the stoep. We bivouacked about six or eight miles
+east of the town, and the next morning caught up the army and took our
+place in advance again. At mid-day we halted within sight of Eerstie
+Fabriken.[1] Some of us were having a _siesta_ and others eating
+biscuits and bully beef, or smoking the pipe of peace (peace, when there
+is no peace!), when--Boom! whish-sh! over our heads, and about 100 yards
+behind us a group of horses was lost in a cloud of brown earth and dust.
+Then another and another came, and we got the order to take cover to our
+right, which was promptly obeyed. Our guns came into action, and later
+an armistice was arranged, for the convenience of Brother Boer, I
+presume, which to-day (Sunday) still continues.
+
+         [Footnote 1: Otherwise known as the "Hatherly Distillery,"
+         owned by a chameleon millionaire German-Jew, named Sammy
+         Marks. Oh, that fine old Scotch whisky! The labels announcing
+         this un-fact are, I understand, obtained from the Old Country
+         and gummed on the bottles at Hatherly.]
+
+[Illustration: _The Great Small Game Quest(ion)._]
+
+This morning (Sunday, the 10th) we had the first Church Parade we have
+had for a long time. The sermon was good, and from it I gathered that it
+was Trinity Sunday. Yesterday it was a curious sight to see us
+employing our leisured ease in stripping ourselves, scratching our
+bodies, and carefully examining our shirts and underwear. A brutal
+lice(ntious) soldiery! Most of us have had quite large families of
+_these_ dependent upon us; a more euphonious term for them is "Roberts'
+Scouts." Men to whom the existence of such insects was once merely a
+vaguely-accepted fact, and who would have brought libel actions against
+any persons insinuating that they possessed such things, after having
+been disillusioned of the idea that they were troubled with the "prickly
+itch," were calmly, naked and unashamed, searching diligently for their
+tormentors in their clothes as to the manner born. Being fortunate
+enough to find an officer's servant with a bottle of Jeyes', I finally
+washed both myself and clothes in a solution of it, so once again I am a
+free man, but the cry goes up "How long?" and echo repeats it. I have
+been told that the best way to get rid of these undesirable insects is
+to keep turning one's shirt inside out; by this means _their hearts are
+eventually broken_.
+
+
+DIAMOND HILL AND AFTER.[2]
+
+         [Footnote 2: That we played a small part in the extensive
+         operations, culminating in what is known as the Battle of
+         Diamond Hill, was only known to most of us four or five
+         months later.]
+
+                                        PIENAARSPOORT.
+                                          _Friday, June 15th, (?) 1900._
+
+_Dolce far niente._ I am not certain about the spelling, or quite
+positive about its interpretation, but it means something comfortable, I
+am sure. And that is just what I am at present. I have lost the scanty
+notes on which I try to base my periodical literary outbursts, and which
+assist me to retain some hazy notion of the date and day of the week, so
+both you at home and I out here ought to feel "for this relief much
+thanks!" And the reason for all this contentment and satisfaction is
+this. We were shifted from our last camping ground yesterday afternoon,
+and have arrived here. We are here for two or three days at the least.
+That is as far as we can gather, and we "just do" hear a lot. This means
+a bit of rest from the everlasting early _reveillé_, saddling up,
+packing up kit, and so forth. So behold me on the veldt, leaning against
+my saddle in my shirt sleeves, taking things easy, after having dined
+well on a loaf of bread well covered with tinned butter obtained at a
+store some miles back owing to my having to fall out of the ranks on
+account of a broken girth (hem!) on our march hither. The bread a Scotch
+farmer, and tenant of Sammy Marks, gave me yesterday. Of course you must
+have noted how the principal topic with us is grub, and probably felt
+contempt for us, still I assure you it is the great Army question. When
+you meet a man out here, usually the first question is "What sort of
+grub are you having?" Then, after another remark or so, "Seen much
+fighting?" Or, again, on asking a man what sort of a general Buller is,
+for instance, the reply comes pat, "A grand man--he looks after your
+rations. Feeds you well!" Still, it must be admitted it looks rather
+amusing to see a big, bearded man expectantly awaiting his share of
+condensed milk or sugar to spread on a piece of biscuit. As regards
+fighting, we have been shelled over a bit lately. I think it was last
+Monday I had to go and see if there was anybody in a small house some
+distance opposite a range of kopjes occupied by the enemy. I had to kick
+in the door, and hitch my horse to a tree. Nobody was in the house; but
+the firing got very warm while I was making my visit. On Tuesday one of
+our patrols was ambushed, and only one man returned with the news. Later
+the officer in command of the troop came in with a corporal, and we
+heard that one fellow had been severely wounded and several horses lost.
+The rest eventually straggled in. All had tales of marvellous escapes to
+tell, some had laid low in a river up to their necks in water for many
+hours, others in the long grass. Yesterday we heard that the Boers
+confessed to three killed and three or four wounded, and as our man is
+progressing favourably I don't think their ambush was a great success,
+especially as they opened fire at a hundred yards or less, a fact which
+does not speak highly for their marksmanship.
+
+Referring to grass, it is truly wonderful how inconspicuous our khaki is
+amidst rocks or grass. Riding along on Monday last I almost rode slap
+over some Guardsmen who were halted and lying or sitting in the grass. I
+only became aware of their presence when about ten yards from them. And
+they all want to get home again--
+
+  "'Ome, and friends so dear, Jennie,
+     'Anging round the yard,
+    All the way from Fratton,
+      Down to Portsmouth 'Ard."
+
+Nearly every other sentence one hears out here begins with "When I get
+home----." Had one of the Guardsmen been inclined to assist me with a
+rhyme to the tune of "Mandalay," he might have sinned thuswise:
+
+  I'm learnin' 'ere in Afriky wot the bloomin' poet tells,
+  If you've 'eard the song of "'Ome, sweet 'Ome," you won't 'eed nothin'
+                                                                   else.
+          No, you won't 'eed nothin' else
+          But the English hills and dells,
+  And the cosy house or cottage where the lovin' family dwells.
+          On the road to London Town,
+          Home of great and small renown,
+  Where the bright lights gleam and glitter on the rich and on the poor.
+          Oh! the lights of London Town,
+          And the strollin' up and down,
+  Where the fog rolls over everything and the mighty city's roar.
+  Ship me home towards that city, where the best live with the worst,
+  Where there are "Blue Ribbon" Armies, but a man _can_ quench a thirst.
+
+This, by the way, might allude to Lord Roberts' order, by which all the
+bars are closed wherever the troops go. When I went into Pretoria not a
+bar was open.
+
+  "'E's rather down on drink
+    Is Father Bobs."
+
+It is quite on the cards that we may be disbanded soon. The war is
+generally regarded as almost over, and candidates for the Military
+Police Force, which is being organised for the Transvaal and Orange Free
+State, are being sought for amongst the various Yeomanry Companies out
+here, the conditions being an optional three months' service, ten
+shillings a day pay and all found. About fifty of our company have
+volunteered, and may go into Pretoria any day now. These fifty have been
+supplied with the best horses we have amongst us, and we have not many
+now, my horse "Juggernaut," being one of the horses which had to be
+handed to the future _slops_, as the candidates are now being
+disrespectfully termed. This being the case, my future movements will be
+in the manner called "a foot slog" behind the ox-waggons.
+
+
+BACK TO PRETORIA.
+
+                                   NEAR THE RACECOURSE, PRETORIA.
+                                     (A Return Visit.)
+                                        _Wednesday, June 20th, 1900._
+
+"Here we are again" at Pretoria, that is, all that is left of us, for
+about fifty have joined the Military Police, others are wounded, sick,
+or missing, and the horses now in our lines number about two dozen
+moderately sound ones. All of this suggests, to minds capable of the
+wildest imaginings, a near return to England, home, and beauty. Some
+experts have actually fixed the date, which varies from within the week
+to within the next two months.
+
+Last Saturday (June 16th) we left Pienaarspoort in the morning, and
+marched for about five miles in an easterly direction, many of us doing
+"a foot slog," having, as I have already mentioned, surrendered our
+mounts to the policemen; the mounted men had only just unsaddled for the
+mid-day halt, and collected wood to cook coffee and in some cases ducks
+obtained from inhospitable farmers flying the white flag, an emblem of
+which the Boer has made the best use for himself times innumerable, when
+the order was heliographed from a distant kopje for the 7th Battalion
+I.V., attached to the 4th M.I., to march back to Pretoria. Then, in my
+opinion, a great event happened. We footsloggers determined to detach
+ourselves from our particular convoy and march into Pretoria, a distance
+of twenty miles or more, in addition to the four we had already tramped.
+I believe it was in my brain that this memorable (to us) march
+originated. We were certain that the mounted men would not reach the
+capital that night, as of course they had to keep in touch with the
+ox-waggons, and as we had to tramp, we determined to tramp to some
+purpose. Our goal was no cold bivouac on the hard earth outside
+Pretoria, with the usual weary waiting for the ox-waggons stuck in a
+spruit about four miles astern, but Pretoria itself, where bread and
+stores were to be obtained, a square meal at a table, and, oh! ye
+gentlemen of England, who live at home at ease, _a bed_. Imbued with
+this idea, with sloped rifle we gaily commenced our return march. Soon
+we came upon miles upon miles of convoys with straggling Colonials,
+Highlanders, Guardsmen, C.I.V.'s, indeed, representatives of all
+branches of the service, and all parts of the Empire, one and all
+toiling in the direction of Pretoria. We started at about mid-day, and
+reached our destination, tired and famished, at seven. After the first
+ten miles, behold a string of four men, tramping with never a halt, over
+rocks and grass, through spruits, past unutterably aromatic defunct
+representatives of the equine race, and through dust ankle deep, towards
+the city of their desire. Darkness came on swiftly, as it does out here,
+and past hundreds of camp fires they limped, footsore but as determined
+as ever, though in no good temper, for this is the order of some of
+their questions and answers towards the end of their march:
+
+"How far off is Pretoria?"--"Three-and-a-half miles."
+
+"How far off is Pretoria?"--"Seven miles."
+
+"How far off is Pretoria?"--"Nine miles."
+
+"How far off is Pretoria?"--"Three miles."
+
+"Have you a Kruger penny?"--"No."
+
+After tramping another two miles:
+
+"How far off is Pretoria?"--"Three or four miles."
+
+At last we beheld lights, not camp lights, but electric lights, and
+cheered by these, we quickened our pace. Alas! they seemed to play us a
+sorry game, and mocking, Will-o'-the-Wisp-like, retreated as we
+advanced. Then, too, we cursed those once blessed electric lights.
+Finally we reached the outskirts of the town, and seeing a closed store,
+with rifle butts and threatening tones persuaded the German dealer to
+open unto us. Here, speaking personally, I disposed of over half a tin
+of biscuits and two tins of jam. _Note by the Way_: These South African
+fresh fruit jams are, I am convinced, made of the numberless pumpkins
+and similar vegetables that one sees in nearly every field, and then
+indiscriminately labelled (I nearly wrote _libelled_) "peach,"
+"apricot," "greengage," and--so help me, Roberts!--"marmalade." One of
+the manufacturers even has the audacity to boldly proclaim his preserves
+"stoneless plum and apricot";--as a matter of fact, pumpkins do not
+usually have stones.
+
+Finally we entered the town, where every shop was closed, but, thanks to
+the guidance of a kindly German, after about half-a-dozen unsuccessful
+efforts we at length obtained food and shelter at a house called "The
+Albion." Oh, the pleasure of sleeping in a bed and under a roof after
+_æons_ (to me) on the hard earth beneath the stars and dew! The next
+morning (Sunday) as we were breakfasting, we beheld unseen, the 7th
+Battalion ride past, and later, after purchasing a few stores, joined
+them where they were camped near the now historic Racecourse. I omitted
+to mention above that as we lay in our comfortable beds that eventful
+Saturday night, we heard the rain pouring in torrents upon the
+galvanised iron roof above our heads, and grimly smiled as we thought of
+the other less fortunate officers, non-commissioned officers and men of
+the I.Y., lying out in the open, vainly trying to get shelter and
+protection under narrow waterproof sheets. Alas, we only had the laugh
+of them that night--I am writing on Friday, June 22nd--for since then we
+have had rain every night, and a fair amount in the daytime as well, and
+when it rains out here there is no compromise about it. Without tents we
+have had a "dooce" of a time. Of course, we have to improvise shelters
+with our blankets. Our place is known as "The Moated Grange,"--a trench
+having been dug round it for reasons not wholly connected with _Jupiter
+Pluvius_. Others are, or would be, known to the postman, did he but come
+our way ("he cometh not") as "No. 1 Park Mansions," "The Manor House,"
+"Balmoral," "Belle Vue," "Buckingham Palace," and "The Lodge." _Apropos_
+of something which concerns a lot of A.M.B.'s, the following may not be
+devoid of interest:
+
+_Scene_: Any chemist's shop in Pretoria. Enter gentleman in khaki
+shrugging himself. With a scratch at his chest and side.
+
+"Er--have you any--er--Keating's powder?"
+
+_Chemist_: "No, zaar, de Englis' soldiers haf bought it all. It is
+finish." (Exit gentleman in khaki, scratching himself desperately.)
+
+Our numbers are now considerably reduced, over half of the Battalion
+have joined the Military Police, others having taken over civil
+employment in the Post Office and Government buildings. Many who were
+not desirous of joining the Police have finally done so, thanks to the
+innumerable fatigues, pickets on the surrounding kopjes, and the
+crowning discomforts of the rainy nights (now over, I am happy to say,
+Sunday, June, 24th). At present our particular, or unparticular,
+company, numbers twenty-one men, with five troop horses and some
+officers' chargers, all that is left of the hundred and twenty mounted
+men that left Maitland Camp in May. Does this sound Utopian? Those men
+who are anxious to obtain civil employment are allowed (or persuaded) to
+join the Police, while the authorities are exerting themselves to obtain
+berths for them at salaries ranging from £300 to £500 or more per annum.
+While nominally with the Police these men do no duties, but draw ten
+shillings a day, besides having the advantage, when it rains, of
+possessing a roof over their heads, and the pleasurable knowledge that
+their pig-headed comrades who have joined as Yeomen and elect to remain
+so to the end, are in the diminished lines about two miles out of the
+town, doing fatigues and guards innumerable, and drawing therefor the
+munificent sum of 1s. 5d. per _diem_. Every day for the last week the
+captain and officers have been asking the men if they wish to join the
+Police or would like to have civil employment found them; and the
+company has been more like a registry office than anything else I can
+think of. To-day (Sunday) we--nine of us and a sergeant--went to church
+with other detachments of the 7th I.Y. It was no open-air church parade,
+where one has to stand all through the service, but a genuine church
+with pews that we went to. It is called St. Alban's Cathedral, and is
+evidently the chief English Church in Pretoria. It was the first time we
+had been in a church since leaving Shorncliffe; the service was very
+reminiscent of a home one and exceedingly restful. The illusion was
+complete when, at the conclusion of the service, _a collection was
+taken_. Now that the rain is all over, we have had tents served out to
+us. The battalion sergeant-major came round a few days ago with "Now,
+then, you fellows, down with those _rabbit hutches_ ("The Grange") and
+put these tents up." They are Boer tents, small and oblong in shape.
+Ours is very rotten, and has a big hole burnt in the top as well as a
+large rent at one end. These we have, however, patched up to our
+satisfaction and comfort. As we are here for the deuce knows how long,
+the beloved army red tape and routine is coming into vogue again.
+
+
+ENTERTAINING A GUEST.
+
+                                   HOREN'S NEK,
+                                     (About 10 miles W. of Pretoria).
+                                       _Thursday, July 5th, 1900._
+
+Here goes for another letter, so pull yourself together. I am here with
+twenty others of the 7th I.Y. on outlying picket, and although the
+affair began rather joylessly, we are getting on very well now. By way
+of parenthesis, it is more than passing strange that whenever I try to
+write a letter somebody always starts singing. At present, a man of the
+Dorsets is lifting his voice in anguish and promising to "Take Kathleen
+home again." He has just followed on with that mournful ballad, entitled
+"The Gipsy's Warning:"
+
+  "Do not 'eed 'im, gentle strynger."
+
+I cannot help heeding him, but I dare not remonstrate, as he is the cook
+of our party, and in the Army, as elsewhere, _Monsieur le Chef_, be he
+ever so humble, is a power. So I will desist for the present, and resume
+this to-morrow on the top of a kopje.
+
+(_Resumed._)
+
+Every night we do guard on two of the near kopjes, and every other day I
+have to go up with a guard, to another kopje, used as an observation
+post, and look with a telescope and the nude optic, Sister Anne like,
+for "staggerers of humanity." On Sunday, the 1st, we went to church
+again. The preparations the young British Yeoman makes for church going
+out here vary considerably, like most other things, from those he is
+accustomed to make at home. Having shaved himself with the aid of the
+only piece of looking-glass possessed by the company, and a razor, which
+in days gone by would have been a valuable acquisition to the
+Inquisitorial torture chambers, washed in a bucket and brushed his
+clothes with an old horse brush, technically known as "a dandy," he
+looks like a fairly respectable tramp, and is ready to fall in with his
+comrades for the two or three miles tramp to Divine service. I had the
+pleasure of entertaining a guest at breakfast before going to kirk. He
+rode up to our cook-house fire (one always _says_ cook-house and
+guard-room) to get a light for his pipe. The broad-brimmed hat with the
+bronze badge of maple leaves and the word "_Canada_," proclaimed whence
+he hailed. After a few minutes' conversation, I invited him to partake
+of our breakfast, and, after no little persuasion--he at first refused
+on the grounds that he would be depriving us of our full share--he
+accepted, and came and joined us. He seemed very reluctant to take much
+at first, and all through the meal, which consisted of mealie porridge
+and sugar, _café sans lait_, bread and jam, expressed his appreciation
+of our scant hospitality. He had joined the Military Police for three
+months, and was on patrol.
+
+"Where did he hail from?"
+
+"The North-West Frontier."
+
+"Had he ever been to England?"
+
+"No; but would like to, I guess."
+
+Here was a man who had never seen England, roughing it and fighting for
+her out here, side by side with us, the home-born; and he only one of
+many.
+
+"Hang it, have some more jam, old chap?"
+
+He told us all about the life (cow-boy) he led at home, and wished he
+could have our company at a "rounding-up," it was rare fun.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Now, then, turn out, and get everything packed on the waggons at once,
+and fall in in marching order!" How would you like to be awakened out of
+a comfortable sleep at 3 a.m. in the above manner? Still, we are pretty
+well accustomed to that sort of thing by now. Having fulfilled the above
+injunctions, we stood to arms for about three hours and were then
+dismissed. Some of us, I being one, were told off for the outlying
+picket we are now doing. _Just_ as dinner was served up, we had to fall
+in and march off, so, despite a ravenous appetite, I had to throw the
+contents of my pannikin, which I had just filled, away, and with
+smothered curses on the usual "messing about" which the Imperial Yeoman
+always has to suffer, fell in and marched away. When we reached this
+place at about five o'clock, we found that, owing to the usual somebody
+blundering, sufficient rations had not been put on the waggons for us.
+The men we relieved seemed very unhappy and were delighted to hear they
+were to go back. They had had one or two alarms, and had to retire on a
+fort one night. Almost immediately we were sent off to our kopjes, where
+we spend our nights. The kopjes round here are really horrible things:
+to ascend and descend them one requires legs of flexible iron, and the
+amiability and patience of Job. At night one has to pick and choose a
+little, before getting a satisfactory "doss." To arrange your couch you
+must, of course, remove all the movable stones, and as regards the
+fixtures it is strange how in a short time one's body seems
+instinctively to accommodate itself to the undulations of the chosen
+sleeping ground. It is strange also how a rock with a few handfuls of
+grass makes a fairly decent pillow.
+
+Near here there are numerous orange groves lying in the shelter of the
+kopjes. Yesterday I had charge of a Dutchman who wanted to go through
+the Nek on business, and on the off chance I went provided with a
+nosebag. I came across a magnificent orange grove, owned, as it proved,
+by an Englishman who had been, he told me, out here for twenty-five
+years. This Englishman sent one of his sons off to fill my bag with the
+best oranges, and another to fill my red handkerchief with mealie meal
+to make porridge with. The red-handkerchief-with-white-spots alluded to
+above is the last "wipe" I have left me out of a large number, and has
+been invaluable to me on numerous occasions for carrying various
+articles, usually edible. On the whole, the time I have spent on this
+outpost has been rather enjoyable. Having only one officer with us, and
+being a reasonable distance from headquarters, we have been spared a
+great deal of the "messing about" which seems to be the special fate of
+the Imperial Yeomen. When you get your British Yeomen home again, many a
+tale of incompetent officers and needless hardships will be retailed,
+unless I am much in error. Here is apparently a small fact, which may
+help to show _why_ the Yeoman has often fared worse than his regular
+brother. The quartermaster-sergeant of a certain I.Y. company I know of,
+is, like most others, a man absolutely unaccustomed to and unqualified
+for the job. Added to this, the disposition of the man is of such a
+nervous nature that he is afraid to try and work on his own initiative,
+and consequently when requisitioning for his company's rations, he not
+only fails to do what his regular brother non.-com. would do, viz.: get
+as much as he can for his company, but fails often to requisition or
+obtain their bare allowance. Once I met and asked this man if he had
+drawn any jam for his company's tea, and his sleepily-drawled reply was,
+"No-o, we were entitled to it, but I forgot to draw it." He forgot, and
+a hundred hungry men were dependent on the energy of such a man. Compare
+this amateur quartermaster-sergeant to the professional one, and you can
+plainly see one way in which Thomas Atkins scores over his Yeoman
+brother. Again, the two cooks of the same company were admittedly the
+slackest and dirtiest men of the lot (the only qualification necessary
+for a Yeomanry cook is the capability to boil water, and some seldom
+achieve records even in doing that). Thanks to their dirtiness, the
+thirsty troopers more often than not, had their tea or coffee spoilt
+owing to the greasy state of the dixies (cooking pots), which had not
+been cleaned after boiling the trek ox stew in them.
+
+I am almost baking on the top of this kopje, as I sit with my back
+against a rock and indite these little records. It seems hard to imagine
+that early every morning muffled-up, shivering forms wait anxiously for
+King Sol to stick his dear, red, blushing face above yonder range of
+kopjes to warm us with his genial presence. Yesterday we had some of
+Plumer's men in our little camp. They were rattling good fellows, and
+had had a very hot time. They assured us that when they entered
+Mafeking, so tired and gaunt were they, owing to their living on short
+commons for so long, that any stranger might well have mistaken them for
+the relieved garrison, and the garrison for the relieving force. They
+also said the fellows there did not look half so bad as one would have
+imagined, though they had eaten nearly every horse and mule in the
+place. The idea which seemed general, that Plumer had a big force with
+him, was very amusing to them, considering they actually only numbered a
+few hundreds, and had, I think they said, two old muzzle-loading guns
+only with them. Having been enlisted a month before the war, they are
+the oldest Volunteer Force out here.
+
+
+THE MAILS ARRIVE.
+
+                                        NEAR THE RACECOURSE,
+                                          PRETORIA.
+                                           _Sunday, July 8th._
+
+Back at the Racecourse, Pretoria. The excitement of Friday has not worn
+away yet. I hardly know how to describe it, especially as I must be
+brief, having such a lot of correspondence to get through. The men who
+relieved us on Friday afternoon said they had good news, and then gave
+it to us in these magic words: "_The mails are in!_" "_Thirteen bags!_"
+At first I could hardly believe or grasp it. The mails were in! I never
+expected to see a letter again. The other companies had been receiving
+their's for the last fortnight or more, but our whereabouts seemed
+unknown to the postal authorities. At last, however, we had got them. We
+had not had a word from our other world for over two months. It seemed
+over two years. The men who relieved us had come away without their's,
+but before we left for camp an officer, Mr. Cory, with bulging
+saddle-bags rode up, and they had them. We went back in the mule-waggon,
+and did not half exhort the nigger drivers to hurry, you can be sure.
+"Hi, hi! Hi-yah!! Tah!!! Nurr! _Crack-crack!!_ Hamba!! Hi-yah!!!" &c. At
+last the ten miles were covered and our camp reached. Out of the waggon
+we leaped, and "Where are my letters" was the cry. Oh, the thrilling
+excitement of seeing the sergeant diving his hand into a sack and
+producing letters, papers and parcels galore. "Trooper Wilson--Wilson,
+Corporal Finnigan, Lance-Corporal Ross," and a big, dirty paw pounces on
+an envelope addressed by a well-known hand. Then another, and once again
+a familiar hand is recognised, then another and another. In all I had
+over a score of letters and about a dozen or more papers, so you can
+guess I have my work before me in answering them. Of course, some have
+been lost, especially the papers. The earliest date was April 21st, and
+the latest June 8th. Absolute peace and goodwill toward men reigned in
+our camp that night. We have all been like so many children at
+Christmas-time, asking one another "How many did you get?" And then on
+hearing the reply, probably boastfully saying, "Oh! I got more than
+you," and so on. It seems so pleasant to be in touch with one's world
+again. All the next day the fellows were poring over their letters and
+ever and anon, unable to suppress themselves one would be annoyed by
+"Ha! ha!! I say, just hear what my young sister says," or "my kiddie
+brother," or some such being, then an uninteresting (to other men)
+extract would follow.
+
+
+THE NITRAL'S NEK DISASTER.
+
+                                        HOREN'S NEK,
+                                          NEAR PRETORIA.
+                                           _Wednesday, July 11th, 1900._
+
+  (More _kopje?_)
+
+Here I am again on the outlying picket racket, and renewing my studies
+of kopjes. I am now up on them every day as well as night. When we
+arrived here last night, the party we relieved told us that a Russian
+doctor's house, about five miles out, had been raided and sacked by
+Boers, and no waggons were being allowed through the Nek, as the enemy
+were evidently waiting to catch any they could, and take them on to
+their commandos. Since daybreak a big action has been in progress. From
+the west heavy guns have been banging, and the fainter sound of volleys
+and pom-poming have reached our ears as we lay drowsily smoking,
+writing, reading and (one of us) watching on this, our observation post.
+In the middle of a letter to a friend a short while ago, a machine gun,
+apparently very close, rapped out its angry message, rat-tat-tat-tat!
+which startled us immensely. The whish-sh-sh of the bullets also was
+undoubtedly near, but as smokeless powder has usurped the place of
+villainous saltpetre, we failed to locate the gun, which has fired
+several times since.
+
+The distant firing still continues, and as Baden-Powell is (or was) in
+that direction, I should imagine he is in action. It seems curious that
+though we are here and may at any minute be involved in the affair, yet
+you at home will know all about it, and we here little or nothing. But
+so it is. Huge vultures, loathsome black and white birds, keep flying
+past us from the west. Now and again, some of them pause and circle
+slowly over us, as if to ascertain whether we are dead or not. A small
+piece of the kopje jerked at them by the most energetic member of our
+party, usually assures them of the negative, and with a few flaps of
+their wings they go whirring on. Ugh! I forgot to mention for the
+edification of any of our lady friends that at night rats emerge from
+beneath the various rocks and sportively run over one's recumbent form.
+So, for guarding kopjes, no Amazons need apply.
+
+[Illustration: The Mealie + Bad Fatigue (What the Patriot did not
+altogether take into his reckoning.)]
+
+Here, as "I laye a thynkynge" (to quote dear old Ingoldsby), it occurs
+to me that we of the Imperial Yeomanry are, in many respects, far wiser,
+I don't say better, men than we were six months, or even less, ago. To
+commence with, we know Mr. Thomas Atkins far better than we did. Now we
+know, and can tell our world on the best authority (_our own_) that he
+is the best of comrades, many of us having experienced his hospitality
+when in sore straits. That he will do anything and go anywhere we are
+certain. As regards ourselves, we have learnt to appreciate a piece of
+bread and a drink of water at its true worth, a thing probably none or
+few of us had done before--"bread and water" being usually regarded as a
+refreshment for the worst of gaolbirds only. And, finally, to sum our
+acquirements up roughly, we have learnt to shift for ourselves under any
+circumstances. We are hewers of wood, drawers of water, cooks (though,
+may be, not very good ones, our resources having been limited), beasts
+of burden (fatigues), and exponents of many other hitherto unknown
+accomplishments. Allusion to fatigues reminds me of that known as "wood
+fatigue." It has been a usual jest of those in command to halt and
+bivouac us for the night at some place where there is no wood
+procurable, and then send us out _to get it_. Another of their little
+jokes has been to serve each man with his raw meat for him to cook when
+wood has been unobtainable. One really great result of this war already
+is the dearth of wood wherever the troops have been. All along the line
+of march, and especially where there have been halts, the wooden posts
+used in the construction of the various wire fencings have been chopped
+down or pulled up bodily and taken away, deserted houses have been
+denuded of all the woodwork they contained--the tin buildings collapsing
+in consequence. It was only a short time ago that an elderly
+non-combatant complained to me when I asked if he had any wood, "No,
+they haf take my garten fence, my best trees, and yestertay dey haf go
+into my Kaffir's house and commence to pull down der wood in der roof!"
+I am sure it is a fortunate thing that the telegraph posts are of iron.
+Were they wooden ones I fear stress of circumstances would have been
+responsible for innumerable suspensions in the telegraphic service. A
+scout has just been in down below with the information that we shall be
+attacked to-night or early to-morrow morning. The machine gun which was
+fired a short while ago, was one of our Colt guns at the entrance to the
+Nek, getting the range of a kopje opposite. These scouts (I refer to the
+few attached to us) are really wonderful (the battalion sergeant-major
+invariably alludes to them as "those d----d scouts"). Their information
+is always startling and mostly unreliable--still it is interesting and
+usually affords us vast entertainment. The scouts referred to are
+Afrikanders, and really chosen because they know Dutch and Kaffir. The
+fellows will call them interpreters, and they don't like it. On Monday I
+went into Pretoria to take the man of ours, who was so nearly done for
+in an ambush near Hatherly last month, his kit. He is now well enough to
+go home. He is a curious, good-natured old fellow, and in his account of
+the affair amused me not a little. After he had been hit and lain on the
+ground some time, the Boers cautiously advanced from their cover, and
+standing on a bank near where he laid, fired a few shots in the
+direction of his long-since departed comrades and then called out to
+him, "Hands up!" His reply, as he told me, struck me as quaint and
+natural, "'Ow can I 'old my 'ands up?" And seeing the reasonableness of
+his remark, they took his water bottle and left him where our surgeon
+found him. From Pretoria I have acquired quite a number of books,
+including half-a-dozen of Stevenson's. At present I am re-reading his
+"Inland Voyage."
+
+                                        _Thursday, July 12th._
+
+We were not attacked last night, although expectation ran high. We had
+about a thousand rounds of ammunition between the six of us, and at two
+o'clock in the morning had the various posts strengthened by a party of
+Burma Mounted Infantry (a composite corps from Burma, of Durham, Essex
+and West Riding Tommies). Fifteen of these were added to our small
+number, and between us occupied four sangars at the most suitable parts
+of the kopje. Had we been attacked, we ought to have given a good
+account of ourselves, as it was a lovely moonlight night. Poor Tommy
+Atkins! You should have heard some of our reinforcements express
+themselves on the social, military, political and geographical phases of
+the situation. They had been rushed up from Kroonstad, and, after
+various vicissitudes, had been despatched to us--without rations, of
+course. This one wished that the By'r Lady war was over By'r Lady soon;
+and his next cold, hungry, tired comrade agreed with him emphatically,
+and consigned the whole By'r Lady country to a sort of perpetual
+Brock's Benefit; also the By'r Lady army, and their By'r Lady military
+pastors and masters, and so on. After Burma they found this country
+cold, especially the nights, and with them the British soldier's wish to
+get back to Mandalay, as expressed in the song, was a veritable fact. As
+usual, their experiences were worth listening to. Amongst other things,
+coming up from Kroonstad, they had found the burnt remains of the mails
+destroyed by some of De Wet's minions a little while ago (some of mine
+were there, I know), and had amused themselves by reading the various
+scraps. Some of these, they told me, were very pathetic. In one, for
+instance, a poor old woman had apparently sent her son a packet of
+chocolate, bought with her last shilling, (she was just going into the
+Workhouse), and she hoped that it would taste as sweet as if she had
+paid a sovereign for it. Had they had any mails? No, not since they had
+been here. They thought all their people must be dead, and "it does
+cheer one up to get a letter." In Burma they always give a cheer when
+the English mail comes in. I gave four of them some pieces of stale
+bread, a handful of moist sugar, and four oranges; while another of ours
+gave the others some bread and the remains of a tin of potted bloater.
+The latest news, which I believe is quite authentic, is that the
+remnants of the Dorset, Somerset, Devon and Sussex Yeomanry, about
+seventy in number, are to be remounted and attached to the 18th Hussars.
+This looks like more marching. I have bought, and intend bringing home
+with me, a few sets of the surcharged Transvaal stamps. I am doing this
+in a self-defensive way; my reason being that among my friends and
+acquaintances in the dear homeland I number certain strange beings
+commonly known in earlier and ruder days as stamp collectors, but now
+politely known and mysteriously designated _philatelists_. Now I know
+for a fact that these persons will, on first meeting me, demand at once,
+"Have you brought any sets of surcharged Transvaal stamps back?" and if
+I answer "Nay," what will they think of me? All the vicissitudes of the
+past few months, my travellings by land and water, my fastings and
+various little privations and experiences, will have been stupidly borne
+for naught in their opinion. And why? Because I have not returned laden
+with Transvaal stamps.
+
+                                        PRETORIA.
+                                          _Friday, July 13th._
+
+Back in camp again. At sunset, yesterday, when we came down from the
+observation post to get a little tea, preparatory to occupying the kopje
+we had been guarding at night, we found everybody on the move, and were
+ordered to mount and clear at once. This meant rushing up to the kopje,
+getting our blankets and other impedimenta, and down again, flinging
+them on the first horse (already saddled), and dashing away, orders
+having been given to abandon the post, as the Boers were in strong
+numbers, and between us and the town sniping. A staff-officer had told
+our captain that he was in charge of the valley, and wanted it to be a
+happy valley. We being a source of anxiety, he requested us to withdraw.
+I fear it had not proved a happy valley for the Lincolns and Greys, who
+were at Nitral's Nek, some eight miles to westward of us, and had been
+attacked and suffered badly in the morning. (The explanation of the
+heavy firing already alluded to.) Near the town we came on a broken-down
+ambulance waggon in a donga, out of which the wounded were being
+assisted as well as the circumstances permitted. Close by, on the
+ground, was something under a blanket, which we nearly rode over. A man
+close by, lighting his pipe, revealed it to us. It was one poor fellow
+who had died on the way. Further on, we came on numerous pickets and
+bivouacked troops, and men of the Lincolns and Greys at frequent
+intervals, asking anxiously where the ambulance waggons were, and if any
+of their fellows were in them. On arriving here we found our horse lines
+full of remounts, which looked like business. We join Mahon's Brigade on
+Sunday, so we are very busy looking out and cleaning up saddlery and
+such like.
+
+Well, I do not feel in a letter-writing mood this morning, so shall as
+far as possible arrange my kit and possessions for the next move on the
+board, on which this poor Yeoman is a humble pawn. I have just finished
+the "Inland Voyage," which you may remember concludes thus, in the final
+chapter, "Back to the World":--
+
+"Now we were to return like the voyager in the play, and see what
+re-arrangements fortune had perfected the while in our surroundings;
+what surprises stood ready made for us at home; and whither and how far
+the world had voyaged in our absence. You may paddle all day long; but
+it is when you come back at nightfall, and look in at the familiar room,
+that you find Love or Death awaiting you beside the stove; and the most
+beautiful adventures are not those we go to seek."
+
+Good, isn't it?
+
+
+
+
+WITH MAHON.
+
+
+A GENERAL ADVANCE TO BALMORAL AND BACK.
+
+                                        DASSPOORT,
+                                          OUTSIDE PRETORIA.
+                                           _Tuesday, July 31st._
+
+"Good morning! Have you used Pears' soap?" No, nor any other for about a
+fortnight, but in a few minutes I am going to have a most luxurious
+shave and bath in a tin teacup. As you can see by the above, we are all
+back at this historic town again after a very warm fortnight of marching
+and fighting under General Mahon. We marched through the town past
+Roberts yesterday, and are now camped awaiting remounts, in order to
+proceed with the game in some other and unknown direction. I have not
+much time for correspondence, but will do my best to give a little
+sketch of some of our doings. To begin with, on Saturday, July 14th, the
+remnants of the Dorset, Devon, Somerset and Sussex Yeomanry were formed
+into a composite squadron[3] of three troops under Captain Sir Elliot
+Lees, M.P., and served with fresh mounts--Argentines. Of course, I got a
+lovely beast, a black horse, which would not permit anyone to place a
+bit in his mouth under any circumstances. It generally takes our
+sergeant-major, farrier-sergeant, an officer's groom, a corporal and
+myself about an hour to get the aforesaid bit properly fixed. When I try
+to fix it myself with the assistance of a comrade, the performance
+usually concludes by tying him to a wheel of our ox waggon, and then,
+after many struggles, I manage to achieve my object all sublime (though
+there is not much sublimity about it). Not wanting opprobrious epithets,
+my steed remained nameless for the first week. I casually thought of
+calling him "Black Bess," but "he" is not a mare, and I thought it
+would be inappropriate. At length I struck what I consider a good name.
+_Bête Noire_, my _bête noire_, and so I called him, and as he is by no
+means averse to eating through his head rope when picketed, I find that
+the curtailment to "gnaw" is satisfactory enough as far as names go. Now
+you know something about my friend the horse, so to proceed. We moved
+out of our old camp on the Saturday afternoon in question, through
+Pretoria to another on the other side, where we joined General Mahon's
+crowd, amongst whom was the Imperial Light Horse, Australians, Lumsden's
+Horse, New Zealanders, "M" Battery R.H.A., and a squadron or so of the
+18th Hussars, sometimes known as "Kruger's Own," being the captured
+warriors of Elandslaagte. On Sunday we had some good luck in the ration
+line, the 72nd and 79th Squadrons of I.Y., the Roughriders, had just
+come up and joined us, and had been served with innumerable delicacies,
+with which they did not know what to do, as they had orders that they
+could only take a certain quantity with them. No sooner did we hear of
+their embarrassment than, as the wolf swept down on the fold, we swept
+down upon them, and most sympathetically relieved them of tins of
+condensed milk, jams, and such like, and what we could not eat we
+managed to carry away with us for another day. On Monday our general
+advance commenced. It was a grand sight, after marching a few miles, to
+come on French's camp and see the lancers, mounted infantry and guns
+moving out in the early morning. A few miles on and our friend the enemy
+opened fire on us, or, rather, on a kopje on which we had just placed a
+4.7. They sent a beautiful shot from their "Long Tom," which pitched
+within a few yards of where the gun had just been placed and close by
+Generals French and Mahon. We Mounted Infantry remained behind the kopje
+and dozed and lunched while desultory shells now and again whizzed over
+us. Beyond this, nothing occurred worth mentioning. On Tuesday morning
+we went out a few miles and took up a position to prevent the Boers
+retreating in our direction. We had to collect stones and form miniature
+sangars. We waited there nearly all day, during which I perused "In
+Memoriam," and posed for a libellous sketch done by our troop officer,
+entitled "An Alert Vedette." The laughter which this occasioned caused
+me to arise out of curiosity and ask to see the pictorial effort. The
+subject represented was a tramp-like being asleep behind three or four
+little stones. We returned in the evening to our camp and I had charge
+of the stable guard, an every three or four night occurrence. The next
+day--Wednesday, the 18th--we proceeded some miles further on, getting
+well into the bush country. I do not know the name of the place we
+halted at for the night; it was very picturesque but had far too many
+kopjes (which required picketing). The next day we were off again
+through the bush. _Apropos_ of the bush, it appears to me that every
+tree and shrub in this land of promise produces thorns. On Friday, the
+20th, we came in touch with the enemy. We were advancing in extended
+order towards an innocent-looking kopje, had got close up to it, and
+had just dismounted, when--rap! went a Mauser. Then another, and rap,
+rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, and the whole show started. As there was
+absolutely no cover to hand, we got the order to mount and clear, which
+order was very promptly executed by all save one. The reports of the
+Mausers and the whistling buzz of the bullets startled my noble steed,
+_Bête Noire_, and after several ineffectual efforts to mount the brute,
+he broke away from me, and I, tripping over a mound as the reins slipped
+out of my hands, fell sprawling on my face. This, I believe, caused some
+of our fellows to think I was hit. Of course, after hurling a choice
+malediction after my horse, I was quickly on my feet and doubling after
+the rest of the "Boys of the Bulldog Breed." An officer of the Dorsets,
+Captain Kinderslie, seeing my plight, rode up amid the whistling bullets
+and insisted on my holding his hand and running by the side of his
+horse, till we came to Sergeant-Major Hunt, who had caught and was
+holding _Bête Noire_. Naturally, the reins were entangled in his
+forelegs, but I soon got them clear and mounted. Away flew my beautiful
+Argentine, away like the wind, every whistling, buzzing bullet seeming
+to help increase his bounds. At last we all got out of range, re-formed,
+dismounted, and advanced to attack. Soon the order was changed, and we
+mounted again and rode to flank the Boers, who had apparently left their
+first position. We reached a neighbouring kopje and halted at the base.
+An officer rode up, and I overheard him say that it would be advisable
+to send a few men in such and such a direction to find out, _with as
+small a loss as possible_, the position and strength of the enemy. Here
+it may not be out of place to mention that acting as scouts and advance
+parties, and drawing the fire of the enemy, has been the vocation of the
+Imperial Yeomanry, also of the Colonial Mounted Troops. Then four of us
+were ordered to ride slowly up the kopje, which was a wooded and very
+rocky one, and find out if any of the enemy were there. This we did. It
+is a peculiar feeling, not devoid of excitement, doing this sort of
+thing, for our horses made much noise and very slow progress over the
+boulders and rocks, and the possibility of a Brother Boer being behind
+any of the stones in front of one with a gun, of course made one
+reflect on the utter impossibility of shooting him or his friends, or of
+beating a retreat. Still, the knowledge that the report of his Mauser
+would warn one's comrades below was eminently satisfactory. There were
+no Boers there, or I should hardly be inditing this letter. They had
+built sangars and left them. We were posted on this kopje for the rest
+of the day, and at night upon another.
+
+         [Footnote 3: From the first the mixture of cavalry and
+         infantry terms used in connection with the I.Y. has been most
+         amusing. As our officers from this date invariably referred
+         to us in cavalry terms, the words "squadron," "troop," etc.,
+         will be used to the end of the volume.]
+
+[Illustration: "Stable Guard! There's a horse loose!"]
+
+Our artillery had shelled them during the afternoon, and they did not
+trouble us again. That night we were not allowed to have any fires and
+our position being inaccessible to the waggons, we had no hot coffee or
+tea, which by the way, is one, if not the greatest, of our treats--our
+milkless and occasionally sugarless evening and morning coffee or tea.
+
+On Saturday we advanced with the main body through a good deal of bush
+country. Sunday was one of the hardest days we had during our little
+fortnight's outing. We started early as advance to Ian Hamilton's
+Division, and during the day covered a terrific amount of ground, got
+well peppered on several occasions, once, during the afternoon, pushing
+on rather too close to the enemy, the retreating Boers gave us some warm
+rifle fire and then opened on us with a couple of field guns, and we had
+to clear. The firing was excellent. A few of us got into a bunch, and a
+shell whirred over our heads and struck the ground only a few yards away
+on our right. That day several men were killed and wounded, but none of
+our crowd, though one got a bullet in his rear pack, another had his
+bandolier struck, and another his hand grazed. The annoying part of our
+work was that we were repeatedly sniped at, but never had a chance to
+retaliate, even when we saw the enemy, as we did on several occasions.
+Certainly once we prepared a pretty little surprise for them in the way
+of an ambush formed of our troop dismounted, but they did not come.
+However, two or three of our fellows saw somebody by a Kaffir kraal, and
+thinking it was a Boer, opened fire, and whoever it was dropped. It
+proved only Kaffirs were there, and two men in our troop are still
+quarrelling as to which bagged the inoffensive nigger, if bagged he was.
+
+Monday, the eighth day out, the entire force rested, which means in
+plain English that they washed, mended their clothes and performed
+other domestic duties. Like the man in "The Mikado," I am a thing of
+shreds and patches, though there is not much dreamy lullaby for me,
+or any of us. The next day we marched on without opposition to
+Bronkhorst Spruit, of fateful memory. We reached there at mid-day,
+and camped, as we had to wait for our convoy to come up. As soon as
+we had got our lines down we went to get wood--we like to have our
+own fires when we can. Corrugated iron buildings there were, but
+untenanted. Bronkhorst Spruit, of hated memory, was a deserted
+village. Smash!--bang!--crash!--crack! "Far flashed the red
+artillery," aye? No, it is merely Mr. Thomas Atkins and his brethren
+of the Colonies and Imperial Yeomanry, who are overcoming
+difficulties in the wood fatigue line. Considering that the average
+Transvaal house is constructed with wood and corrugated iron, it can
+be easily understood that neither its erection or demolition takes
+much time. "So mind yer eye, there--crash!--bang! That door belongs
+to the Sussex! Smash! Look out, the roof's coming down," etc.
+
+The convoy came in during the night, so we were up and off at an early
+hour, bound for Balmoral, the next station on the line towards
+Middelburg. The country we had to traverse was very rough, and on our
+left were ranges of suspicious-looking kopjes. Soon after we started my
+horse funked a narrow dyke at about half-a-dozen places, and finally, on
+my insisting and exhorting him with my one remaining spur, plunged
+sideways in at the deepest part. He came out first, soaked. I followed
+promptly, wet to the waist (nice black water and mud); his oats and my
+day's biscuits, which were in his nosebag, were spoilt; and my feelings
+towards him none of the best. Balmoral was reached at about noon. There,
+I regret to state, we did not have Queen's weather. Soon after we
+arrived clouds began to gather, and thoughtful men commenced carrying up
+sheets of corrugated iron, of which there was a great quantity near the
+station, and hastily constructing temporary shelters. Ours was a poor
+concern, and as I had to wander about in the rain some time before I
+turned in, I was sopping wet, and of course passed the night so. Our
+waggon got stuck in a drift, as usual, and so we went coffee-less that
+night. The next day we heard that during the night an officer and three
+men of the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders had died from exposure to
+the severe weather. On that march from Bronkhorst Spruit to Balmoral we
+lost hundreds of mules, oxen and horses. They simply strewed the
+roadsides all the way. On Friday, the 27th, we returned to Bronkhorst
+Spruit, _en route_ for Pretoria. Leaving Bronkhorst Spruit for
+Pienaarspoort the next morning, we passed the graves of the massacred
+94th (Connaught Rangers). First we passed three walled-in enclosures,
+which the officers rode up to and looked over. They were the graves of
+the rear guard. Then we came to a larger one, which contained the main
+body. The Connaughts were marching with us; whatever their feelings
+were, they must have felt a grim satisfaction in the knowledge that
+"they came again." Yesterday (Monday, July 30th,) we marched into
+Pretoria, past Lord Roberts, and on through the town to our present
+camp, which we leave at four to-morrow morning with fresh horses. We
+heard as we went through that one of our Sussex fellows, who was down
+with enteric when we left, had since succumbed. Poor fellow! It may be
+merely sentiment, but I must say the idea of being buried out here is
+somewhat repugnant to me. His bereaved relatives and friends cannot have
+the comforting feelings of Tennyson, expressed "In Memoriam."
+
+  "'Tis well; 'tis something; we may stand
+      Where he in English earth is laid,
+      And from his ashes may be made
+   The violet of his native land.
+   'Tis little; but it looks in truth
+      As if the quiet bones were blest
+      Among familiar names to rest,
+   And in the places of his youth."
+
+
+TO RUSTENBURG.
+
+                                        CAMP,
+                                          TWO MARCHES WEST OF PRETORIA.
+                                           _Wednesday, August 8th, 1900._
+
+  "Oh, darkies, how de heart grows weary,
+   Far from de ole folks at home."
+
+There goes somebody again! It is always occurring, either vocally or
+instrumentally; but to start now, when I want to pull myself together
+and give a further account of the doings of the remnants of what was
+once the Sussex (69th) Squadron of Imperial Yeomanry, and their comrades
+of the West Countrie, is annoying beyond all expression. To commence, I
+must really trace out for you our bewildering descent, or ascent, to our
+present state, and then you will thoroughly understand why, in all
+probability, the papers have been silent as to the doings and
+whereabouts of the 69th Squadron of Imperial Yeomanry. At Maitland we
+belonged to the 14th Battalion of Yeomanry, under Colonel Brookfield,
+M.P. Leaving that salubrious but sandy locality, we travelled on our
+very own, by rail and road, till we joined Roberts at the Klip River,
+and for a few days were his bodyguard. At Johannesburg we joined the 7th
+Battalion of Yeomanry, under Colonel Helyar, of whose murder, in July,
+at a Boer's house not far from Pretoria, you must have read. Later on,
+men from this battalion having entered the Police and civil berths,
+those of us who were left were banded together and formed into one
+squadron under Sir Elliot Lees, M.P. This was composed of three weak
+troops--Dorset, Devon and Sussex, the latter troop containing
+half-a-dozen Somerset men. As such we left Pretoria, and went east as
+far as Balmoral. On our return to Pretoria, our weak horses and sick men
+being weeded out, we went west nearly as far as Rustenburg, as one
+_troop_, composed of Sussex, Devon, and Dorset men, and attached to the
+Fife Light Horse.[4] As I write, we are returning in the direction of
+Pretoria. And now, if you have skipped the foregoing I will proceed to
+give you as brief an account as possible of our adventures since leaving
+Pretoria a week ago (Wednesday, August 1st).
+
+         [Footnote 4: This fine squadron of Yeomanry, under Captain
+         Hodge, had also joined Mahon, at Pretoria, on July 16th.]
+
+On that day, forming No. 3 Troop of the Fife Light Horse, we marched out
+of Dasspoort and proceeding due west, parallel with the Magaliesberg,
+quickly got in touch with the enemy, under Delarey, whom we slowly drove
+before us. Soon we came upon Horen's Nek, and the commencement of farms
+and orange groves. As we passed the first grove, with the glowing
+oranges tantalising us in a most aggravating manner, we cast longing
+eyes at them, but hastened on after the unfraternal Boer. The oranges
+were not for us--then. A little further on the fighting became warm, and
+we galloped up; then, "Halt! for dismounted service!" and the reins of
+three horses are thrown at me, or thrust into my hands by their riders,
+who double out to the left and proceed to participate in the fun of the
+firing line. Considering that I had only once (at Shorncliffe) acted as
+No. 3, you can picture to yourself the sort of entertainment which
+followed. The intelligent Argentines manoeuvred round me like performing
+horses doing the quadrilles or an Old English Maypole dance, while with
+the reins we made cat's-cradles, and Gordian knots. That idiot, Mark
+Tapley, would indeed have envied my lot, and have been welcome to it.
+The row made by the firing was terrific, for pom-poms and artillery were
+joining in, and a fair amount of bullets came by us with the led horses.
+Suddenly our fellows came doubling back, and with a sigh of relief I
+surrendered their horses to them. Then our troop-officer, Captain
+Kinderslie, gave us the order, "Fours, right--Gallop!" and off we went
+to turn their right flank. Our course lay right across the open, and as
+soon as the enemy saw our move they poured their fire in as hot as they
+could. Round to their right we flew, with the bullets whistling by, and
+striking the earth before and behind us, but divil a man did they hit,
+though the air seemed thick with them. At last our exhilarating gallop
+was finished, and as our small party advanced to the attack, all they
+saw was the last few Boers scuttling off for dear life. Colonel Pilcher,
+who was with Mahon, sent round and thanked our little troop for this
+service.
+
+After this we returned to an orange grove, near which our force was
+encamped. _That night we had oranges._
+
+The next day we were rear guard and, passing through a fat land,
+abounding with oranges, tangerines, citrons, lemons, tobacco and good
+water, not to forget porkers, fowls, ducks, and the like, "did ourselves
+proud," to resort to the vernacular. That night we had a huge veldt
+fire, and the whole camp had to turn out with blankets to fight it.
+Fortunately a well-beaten track separated the blazing veldt from us, and
+the wind blew it beyond, or we could hardly have made a successful stand
+against the flames, some being quite a dozen feet in height. Allusion to
+veldt fires reminds me that the last time I had to turn out to fight
+one was near Johannesburg, and the man who displayed most energy in
+smiting the flames with his blanket, and who came away from the charred
+veldt with blackened face and hands, was our second in command, the Duke
+of Norfolk.
+
+On Friday we continued our advance, and crossed the Crocodile River.
+This day we saw nothing of the enemy. Our horses have done well in the
+way of forage lately. Sometimes we get bundles of oat hay out of the
+barns we visit _en route_, and strap them, with armfuls of green oats
+pulled from the fields, fore and aft of our saddles, till we look like
+fonts at harvest festivals. Thus equipped, we would form good subjects
+for a picture called "The Harvest Home." Yet, in spite of all the
+feeding they have been getting, our horses are all nearly done up.
+
+Our present troop officer is great on the _commandeer_, and very
+popular. However, the other day he gave us a severe address on parade
+about looting, which he wound up as follows:--"Of course, I don't object
+to your taking the necessaries of life, such as oranges, fowls, ducks,
+mealie flour, or the like, but (sternly) any indiscriminate looting I
+shall regard as a crime."
+
+
+AMBUSHED.
+
+On Sunday (August 5th), while the folks at home were preparing for the
+Bank Holiday, we Yeomen of Sussex, Somerset, Dorset, Devon and Fife,
+with our friends "The Roughs," were continuing to advance west in the
+direction of Rustenburg. This day we passed through some of the best
+wooded country I have seen out here. The trees being quite large and at
+a distance very much like small oaks. At about mid-day we halted in
+front of Olifant's Nek, and our signallers tried to get into
+heliographic communication with the great "B.-P.," who was supposed to
+be in possession. At last, after several fruitless efforts, a dazzling
+dot in the pass appeared and commenced twinkling in response to ours.
+
+  "Twinkle, twinkle, helio,
+   What a lot of things you know."
+
+Soon we received the order to advance. Then we were halted, "files
+about," and galloping about a mile to the rear, were drawn up, and
+informed that a Boer laager had been reported under a small kopje of
+the Magaliesberg some distance east from the Nek, and we were to go and
+investigate the matter. The first three groups of our troop were sent
+out to locate it, I being in the centre one. We had some wretched ground
+to go over, and finally, without any signs of opposition, reached the
+small farms lying at the foot of the range of hills. There the left and
+centre group were stopped for some considerable time by a large barbed
+wire fence and, as none of us possessed any wire nippers, we finally had
+to go out of our way some distance in order to avoid it. I mention this
+trivial incident as illustrative of how some Yeomanry matters of
+equipment have been neglected. From my own knowledge, based on enquiry,
+I find that none of the non-commissioned officers or men of our squadron
+were provided with these very necessary implements--one or two happened
+to have private ones, and that is all. So much for that grumble. Now to
+resume. Having overcome the barb-wire difficulty, we continued our
+progress in the direction where we understood the laager was situated,
+convinced in our minds that of Boers there were none. _En route_ we
+called at the few houses in the neighbourhood and made slight
+investigations, with always the same result. There were women and heaps
+of children, but of men none. Of course, you know the game. The
+chivalrous Boer, having deposited his arms in Pretoria and taken the
+oath of neutrality, has rested himself, and is now out again on the war
+path, either from choice or through being commandeered. At last one of
+our scouts rode up and told us that our right-hand group had found the
+laager which had been evacuated. Riding through the trees, it was rather
+thickly wooded, we soon came across wandering cows, calves and oxen, and
+at length the laager at the foot of a small kopje. In it were the four
+men of our right group, cattle, horses, a few donkeys, and a couple of
+uneasy-looking niggers, who had evidently been left behind and in charge
+by the Boers. It was a fine position for a laager, and well hidden away.
+Several of us dismounted here and lighted our pipes while we watched the
+fine cattle we had got, and those with bad horses haggled as to who
+should possess the best of the Boer mounts, which were being held by the
+uncomfortable-looking Kaffirs. Presently through a donga on the left of
+the laager came the leading groups of the Fife Light Horse and soon the
+laager contained the first troop. I remounted my horse and--_rap!_ went
+a shot and over rolled a horse and rider (a Sussex sergeant) on my
+right; then into us rapped and cracked the rifles from the near kopje.
+There was only one thing to do, and that was to clear. Men and horses
+appeared to be tumbling over on all sides, _Bête Noire_ swerved and I
+fell off at the commencement of the fusillade. Arising, I doubled after
+the sergeant whose horse had been knocked over by the first shot. After
+going about a score of yards, I saw him dash into some bushes and
+brambles, and following, slipped and rolled down the side of a gully
+till I found myself scratched and torn sitting in a small rivulet at the
+bottom with my pipe still in my mouth and my rifle, the barrel of which
+was half choked with mud, in my hand. Looking round I saw two of our
+fellows who had led their horses down from the other side. The place
+could not have been improved on for cover, and the others falling in
+with my _j'y suis, j'y reste_ remark, we sat down on the moist earth and
+rocks and awaited developments, while the bullets whistled and buzzed
+through the trees over our heads. Soon a volley whizzed over us from our
+fellows who had succeeded in retiring and rallying behind a knoll some
+distance back. This went on for a time, and at length the firing ceased.
+A Fife man came up from lower down the gully; he had lost both horse and
+rifle. However, crawling higher up, he found the latter in some bushes.
+Presently a strange figure appeared, clad in khaki, with a dark blue
+handkerchief tied over his head, a stick in his hand and leading a
+horse. This proved to be another canny Scot. He had assumed this sort of
+disguise and managed to secure a horse from near the laager. He was
+rather apprehensive lest our own people should fire on him if they
+spotted him. As he told us, on our enquiring, that there were two more
+horses in the laager, though he advised us not to go out for them then,
+the Fife man and I emerged from the donga and with a wary eye on the
+treacherous kopjes entered the laager, which was only a score of yards
+from our place of concealment, and to my great delight, of the two
+horses quietly eating the forage there I recognised _Bête Noire_ as one.
+Having now obtained horses, we leisurely proceeded to camp, calling on
+the way at a few of the farmhouses and an orange grove we had passed on
+our advance to the laager. The Boers had evidently cleared, or they
+would have fired on us as we rode to the farms in full view of the
+kopjes all the way. I cannot say that the simple Boer women seemed
+pleased to see us when we rode up with smiling faces and helped
+ourselves (with their permission) to oranges and tangerines, while one
+good lady gave me a couple of eggs, which I enjoyed later for tea. Then
+gaily bidding them _Auf Wiedersehen_ we retraced our way and came to
+where the camp had been established. Arrived there, the stories we heard
+concerning the affair were, as you can imagine, marvellous. And, after
+all, what do you think the wily Boer bagged as the result of such a
+lovely death trap? Not a man. Half-a-dozen horses were shot, and I
+daresay some cattle. My rolled overcoat also had a rip suspiciously like
+a bullet mark. Once again Boer wiliness had been rendered ineffectual
+owing to execrable marksmanship. It seems like ingratitude to thus
+criticise their shooting, but it cannot go without comment.
+
+On Monday, the August Bank Holiday, we did not shift camp, and had the
+luxury of a late _reveillé_ (6 a.m.), and opportunities for very
+necessary washes and shaves, and such domestic duties as repairing rents
+in our breeches and tunics, and a little laundry work. Some of your
+"gentlemen rovers abroad" are finding that sewing the tears in one's
+tunic is a far different and more difficult matter than sowing one's
+wild oats at home. Owing to having baked the back of one of my boots in
+drying it at a fire, after my fourth immersion in a bog, I have had
+rather a bad heel, but am easier in that vulnerable part now, having cut
+out the back of the boot.
+
+On Tuesday, B-P. very unwillingly evacuated Rustenburg, and we marched
+back in the direction of Pretoria.
+
+I don't think, in spite of my verbosity, I have made any particular or
+direct allusion to our friend, the mule, so here I will make slight
+amends. Alas, he lost the little reputation he possessed at Nicholson's
+Nek, but to give the mule his due he is a hard worker--he has to be--he
+is born in bondage and dies in bondage (there is no room out here for
+the R.S.P.C.A.), and the golden autumn of a hard-lived life is not for
+the likes of him. He does not appear to get much to eat, though he will
+eat anything, as I found to my cost one night when in charge of the
+stable guard. A friend had lent me two _Graphics_, which I left on my
+blanket for a few minutes while I went the rounds. On my return I found
+a mule contentedly eating one of them--I only just managed to save half
+of it. When in camp, the Cape Boys, in whose charge they are, usually
+tie some of them to the wheels of the waggons, ammunition and water
+carts, the remainder being left to wander tied together in threes and
+fours, reminding one for all the world of Bank Holiday festivallers
+arm-in-arm on the so-called joyous razzle dazzle.
+
+Out here we wandering humble builders of the Empire have no idea how the
+war is progressing, if progressing it is. Our noses are flat against the
+picture, so to speak, and, consequently, we practically see and know
+nothing; it is you good folks at home who have the panoramic view. Our
+cheerful pessimist expressed himself to this effect a few days ago.
+About forty or fifty years hence, travellers in this part of the world
+will come across bands of white-haired and silver-bearded men in strange
+garbs of ox and mule skin patches, and armed with obsolete weapons,
+wandering about in pursuit of phantasmal beings to be known in future
+legends as land Flying Dutchmen. Anyhow, give Private Thomas Atkins a
+good camp fire at night when the Army halts, round which he can
+comfortably sit and grumble about his rations, while he partakes of a
+well-cooked looted porker or fowl, and afterwards fills his pipe with
+the tobacco of the country, which he lights with an ember plucked from
+the burning, and talks of home, and the prospects, optimistic or
+pessimistic, of getting there some day, and at least, he is content. Oh,
+England, what have we not given up for thee this year, Cowes, Henley,
+the Derby, Ascot, Goodwood, the Royal Academy, the Paris Exhibition, the
+latest books and plays, all these and more--much more. And if we hadn't,
+what would we have done? Kicked ourselves, of course.
+
+  "Then here's to the Sons of the Widow,
+   Whenever, however they roam;
+   And all they desire, and if they require,
+   A speedy return to the home.
+   Poor beggars, they'll never see home!"
+
+
+HEAVY WORK FOR THE RECORDING ANGEL.
+
+                                        VAALBANK,
+                                          _Sunday, August 12th, 1900._
+
+I believe this place is called Vaalbank, though really I am by no means
+certain. Anyhow, it looks respectable to have some sort of address, so I
+will let it stand.
+
+Yesterday, at Commando Nek, we were rejoined by the rest of the
+Composite Squadron, and remounts were brought up from Pretoria (about
+300); on account of the latter I am glad that I did not commence this
+letter the same evening, for we Yeomanry had to lead them. The brutes
+were Hungarians and Argentines. Niggers had brought them from Pretoria,
+and then we had to take them on, while the men in need of horses toiled
+along on foot. Why they were not allotted on the day they were received
+is only accounted for by the fact of our forming part of a British Army.
+During the "telling-off" of our fellows to the various groups of sorry
+nags, a comrade known as "Ed'ard" and I loafed in rear of the squadron
+in hopes of coming last and finding no horses left. We did come last,
+but there being eleven horses over, poor Ed'ard had six and I five
+Argentines to lead, and the Recording Angel had a big job on.
+Half-a-dozen rapid type-writers on his staff would have failed to cope
+with the entries entailed by that day's work and discomfort. Some people
+boast that they can be led, but not driven. The boast of my Argentines
+was that they could be driven but not led. For about three hours I led,
+or tried to lead them, at the end of which time my right, or leading
+arm, was about four inches longer than my left, and once or twice quite
+six. This was when a ditch or some such obstacle had to be overcome. My
+own steed, having nobly negotiated it, two of the others would follow
+his excellent example, and then the remaining three would pause on the
+bank, irresolutely at first, and then quite determined not to "follow my
+lead," in fact to never "follow me," would pull back a bit. Then a
+lovely scramble would result, in which I would be hauled half-way back,
+horse and all, and my rifle, instead of remaining properly slung, would
+become excitable, and manage to hang round my neck or waist. Finally a
+fairy godmother, in the form of a dirty, unshaven Tommy Atkins of the
+line, would come to my assistance, and with a wave of his wand--I mean
+rifle--and a thrust with the butt, my troubles for the moment would be
+overcome. At last, with my right hand cut and sore, and a temper which
+would have set the Thames a-fire, I let go the leathern thong by which I
+had been endeavouring to lead them, and started driving them. Other
+fellows also commenced to do the same, and after the brutes we raced,
+inhaling dust, expectorating mud, and cursed by every transport officer.
+Happy men, without horses to look after, were looting fowls and porkers,
+for the district was a good one; but such was not for us luckless
+Yeomen. Even when we got into camp we had to stand for nearly two hours
+in the dark, looking after the brutes till some more Yeomanry, the
+Roughs, relieved us, I cannot help it--it's the twelfth, and I must
+_grouse_!
+
+[Illustration: A terrible reckoning! Binks (who has just had a row with
+a burly Sergeant and got an extra stable guard, and is also 'forit'):
+"By Heavens! Wait till I get home and meet him in civvies and he has no
+stripes to protect him!"]
+
+Listen to this! When at home in barracks, and on the transport, the
+orderly officer always went through the army routine of going round at
+meals and asking "Any complaints?" Now that we are campaigning, divil an
+officer asks if we have any complaints to make, or is in any way
+solicitous as to our welfare or wants. And the consequence is this: we
+are at the mercy of our quartermaster-sergeants, who are sometimes
+fools, and more often the other thing as far as we are concerned, and
+beings known by us as "the waggon crowd," _i.e._: the cooks, and divers
+other non-combatants. What they don't want, or dare not withhold, is
+given to the poor Yeoman, who has to march, fight, and do pickets and
+guards. The man who marches and fights is the worst paid and worst
+treated out here. This, it appears, is a way they have in the army. It
+is, however, distinctly amusing to hear the _common_ troopers
+proclaiming how they will get equal with their officers, especially the
+non-coms., when they meet them in the sweet by-and-bye as civilians.
+
+The night we stopped outside Pretoria before coming out this way, our
+curiosity was aroused by suddenly hearing three hearty British cheers
+from some lines not far from ours. On making an enquiry as to the cause
+of this outburst of feeling, we were informed that the battalion had
+just received the news that their adjutant, who was absent on leave, had
+been made a prisoner by the Boers. Of course, some officers, especially
+the Regular ones who have seen previous service, are decidedly popular,
+our present General--"Mickey" Mahon--being an instance. There is no gold
+lace or cocked hat about him. He is, in attire, probably the strangest
+figure in the campaign. Picture to yourself a square-built man of middle
+age, wearing an ordinary brown cap (not a service one), a khaki coat
+with an odd sleeve, breeches, and box-cloth gaiters, carrying a hooked
+cherrywood stick, and smoking a briar, and you have General Mahon.
+
+And now listen to this little story about him. A few days ago a Tommy
+was chasing a chicken near a farm on the line of march. Suddenly the
+cackling, fluttering, feathered one dashed in the direction of a
+plainly-dressed stranger. "Go it, mate; you've got 'un!" yelled the
+excited Tommy. Then, to his horror, he recognised the general, and,
+confused, tried to apologise. "Not at all," said the chief, and helped
+him to kill the bird. Then telling him if he liked he could take it to
+his colonel and say the general had helped him to kill it, he sauntered
+away.
+
+His favourite corps is the I.L.H., and he seems quite pained when they
+miss an opportunity of obtaining good loot, which, once or twice they
+have done, owing to a stringent order from someone else against it.
+
+Routine and red tape, though probably not so bad as "once upon a time,"
+are still rampant, and we Yeomanry get our full share of them, the
+Colonials being more exempt. When we are on the march it is always
+"dress up there" or back as the case may be, and the following extract
+from a comrade's diary can be regarded as absolutely veracious.
+
+"August 6th. On advance party again. Tried to look for Boers and lost my
+'dressing.' Severely reprimanded."
+
+It appears to me that our way for locating the enemy is absurdly simple.
+We advance in approved extended order, so many horses' lengths, not more
+nor less, if any Boers are about, and we get too close to them, they pot
+at us. Then we take cover, if not bowled over; and it is generally known
+that there are Boers about.
+
+This (Sunday) morning, I am writing a few lines during a halt--we passed
+various farms on our way, which is in the direction of Krugersdorp. We
+are in hopes of rounding up De Wet (don't laugh!) At one of these farms,
+as we passed, a regular old Rip Van Winkle Dopper Boer was seated by his
+door scowling at us, and a trooper who had evidently been sent to ask
+for arms presently received, and rode away with _a sword_. It was really
+most amusing, probably the dear old man had three Mausers under his
+floor boards, and perhaps a bathchair was to be found somewhere on the
+premises, in which he could be conveyed to the top of a kopje now and
+again, to enjoy the pleasure of sniping the _verdommte Rooineks_, or
+their convoy as it passed along.
+
+Monday, August 13th. On this day we made a reconnaissance in force, but
+had no fighting. In the evening we had to do an outlying picket on a
+near kopje, some long range and ineffective sniping going on as we took
+up our position at sunset. The waggon having been left behind (no
+unusual occurrence), we went tea-less to our night duty.
+
+Tuesday, August 14th. Off, without any coffee, on advance guard. As we
+moved out of camp, revolvers and rifles were banging in all directions.
+However, it was not sniping, but merely the usual killing of sick horses
+and mules. Along the road the defunct quadrupeds hummed dreadfully (if
+any tune, "The place where the old horse died").
+
+
+RELIEF OF ELAND'S RIVER GARRISON. JOIN IN THE GREAT DE WET HUNT.
+
+Wednesday, August 15th (in the vicinity of Eland's River). Another day
+without tea or coffee, and in a district lacking in wood and water. At
+about mid-day we came upon Kitchener, Methuen, and others with their
+respective forces. Colonel Hore's gallant Australians and Rhodesians had
+just been relieved. The various columns halted and camped here. That
+afternoon a couple of commandeered sheep were served out to our troop; I
+dressed one, and obtained the butcher's perquisites, viz.: the heart,
+liver and kidneys. On these, with the addition of a chop from a pig, at
+whose dying moments I was present, and a portion of an unfortunate duck,
+I made an excellent meal. That night was rather an uneasy one for me,
+for I had Eugene-Aram-like dreams in which relentless sheep chased me
+round farmhouses and barns into the arms of fierce ducks and avenging
+porkers. But _reveillé_, and then daylight came at last, and peace for
+my burdened mind and chest.
+
+Thursday, August 16th. Off in the direction of Olifant's Nek. At noon we
+came in contact with the scouts of the enemy who were holding the Nek.
+After being under a heavy rifle fire, we retired to camp and waited for
+the morrow. Ian Hamilton arrived in the evening with his infantry and
+cow-guns.
+
+Friday, August 17th. We moved out early in anticipation of a big day,
+for amongst the various rumours was one to the effect that De Wet's
+laager was on the other side of the Nek, and Baden-Powell and Methuen
+were going to attack him from that quarter. Oh, the rumours about this
+slim individual, they are legion! Here are some of the hardy perennial
+order:
+
+  1. De Wet is captured at last.
+  2. De Wet is surrounded and cannot escape. (The modification brand.)
+  3. De Wet has escaped with eleven men.
+  4. De Wet has 4,000 men with him.
+  5. De Wet has only 300 men with him.
+  6. De Wet has heaps of stores and ammunition.
+  7. De Wet has no stores, etc.
+
+This is supposed to be the dry season, but it appears to me to be De
+Wet, and our "Little British Army which goes such a very long way"
+(quite true especially here) seems like the British Police, who always
+have a clue, and expect shortly to make an important arrest, but don't.
+We took up a position on a kopje opposite to the right of the Nek, and
+for a few hours had a rare easy time. Divesting ourselves of our tunics,
+belts, bandoliers and other top hamper, we lounged about in our
+shirt-sleeves, smoking and dozing, only rousing ourselves a bit later
+when the double-rapping reports of the Mausers over the way told us that
+our scouts were being fired on. Soon the R.H.A. came into action, and
+were quickly followed by the banging of the cow-guns. It was most
+interesting to see where the shells struck, and how soon the kopjes and
+Nek opposite became blackened, smoking rock and earth, and the spiteful
+Mausers ceased from troubling. Meanwhile, the infantry, Berks and A. and
+S. Highlanders, advanced and the Nek was ours, and the Boers, De Wet's
+rearguard--vamoosed. Then we all marched through the Nek, which was a
+wonderful position, and possible of being held after the manner of
+Thermopolæ. Our Sussex farrier-sergeant was shot in the arm. Going
+through the Nek we passed three graves by the roadside--graves of Royal
+Fusiliers who had died of wounds and enteric during B.-P.'s occupation
+of the place a short time previous. A soldier's grave out here is a
+simple matter, a rude cross of wood made from a biscuit case, with a
+roughly-carved name, or perhaps merely a little pile of stones, and
+that is all, save that far away one heart at least is aching dully and
+finds but empty solace in the _pro patria_ sentiment. When one passes
+these silent reminders of the possibilities of war, it is impossible to
+suppress the thought "It might have been me!" But more often than not
+any such morbid reflections are effaced by the sight of a house and the
+chances of loot. Which reminds me that we ravaged with fire and sword a
+good deal in the vicinity of Rustenburg, numerous houses being set
+a-fire by authority--in most cases the reason being because the owner of
+the domicile had broken his oath of allegiance and was out again
+fighting us. We reached Rustenburg at about six o'clock, and had to go
+on outlying picket on a terribly-high kopje, known as Flag Staff Hill,
+at once. So just as it became dark--tired and tea-less, with overcoats
+and bundles of blankets--a little band of wearied, cussing Empire
+builders set out on their solitary vigil, with none of your
+"Won't-come-home-till-morning" jollity about them. Oh, that thrice, nay
+seventy-times-seven, execrated hill! Up it we stumbled with a compulsory
+Excelsior motto, staggering, perspiring profusely, with wrenched ankles,
+cut and sore feet, cussing when breath permitted, dropping exhausted,
+and resting now and again. Thus we ascended Flag Staff Hill. On the top
+we found strong sangars with shell-proof shelters, which had been built
+by the indefatigable Baden-Powell during his occupation of Rustenburg.
+That night passed at last.
+
+
+AFTER DE WET.
+
+Saturday, 18th August. We set off again in the direction of Pretoria,
+and unsaddled and formed our lines at about four, and were
+congratulating ourselves on getting camped so soon when the faint but
+unmistakable cry of "saddle up" was heard afar off, then nearer and
+nearer, till we got it. De Wet (thrice magic name) was not very far off,
+and we were to push on at once after him. So off we set on a forced
+night march, on which no lights were allowed, and mysterious halts
+occurred, when we flung ourselves down at our horses' feet on the dusty
+road and took snatches of sleep. Then a rumbling would be heard, and
+down the column would come the whisper "The guns are up"--probably some
+obstacle such as a drift or donga had delayed them--then forward. We
+halted at twelve and were up again at four. The day being Sunday we, as
+usual out here, rested not, but proceeded on the warpath. A few miles
+down the road a scout passed with a Boer prisoner (Hurrah! one Boer
+less!). Leaving the Pretoria road soon after daybreak, we made for some
+low-lying ranges of hills, known as the Zwart Kopjes, and after going
+forward a couple of miles our guns, M Battery, trotted smartly forward
+in line, halted, then like wasps cut off at the waists, the fore parts
+flew away leaving the stings behind. In plain military words, the R.H.A.
+unlimbered, busy gunners laid their pets, others ran back for
+ammunition, an officer gave directions, then a roll of smoke, a flash, a
+cracking bang, a gun runs back, and intently-watching eyes presently see
+a small cloud of smoke over the top of a distant kopje, and a faint,
+far-away crack announces that the well-timed shrapnel is searching the
+rocky ridges; then bang, bang! bang, bang! and the rest quickly follow,
+firing in turn and now and again in twos or threes. Then it's "limber
+up" and forward, and their attention is paid to another little range
+further on. Soon, having cleared several kopjes, we, the Fife Light
+Horse, New Zealanders, our Composite Squadron, and others, crossed a
+drift and leisurely advanced, passing on our way a deserted Boer waggon
+loaded with corn, mealies and other stuff. At a farmhouse we naturally
+managed to halt, and tried to secure edibles. Colonel Pilcher, however,
+came and ordered us to form up in a field further on, and as we
+proceeded to obey this order, Mausers began rapping out at us from a
+range of hills which we had supposed (usual fallacy!) were unoccupied,
+our guns having shelled them well. Thereupon the colonel immediately
+told us to retire behind the farmhouse and outbuildings with the horses.
+I soon found myself lying behind a low bank with Lieutenant Stanley, of
+the Somerset Yeomanry, on one side of me and a New Zealander the other,
+blazing away in response to B'rer Boer opposite. My Colonial neighbour's
+carbine got jammed somehow or other, and his disgust was expressed in
+true military style, for the keenness of the New Zealander is wonderful.
+One of our pom-poms and M Battery joining in, after a time the firing
+slackened, and chancing to look round at the side of the farmhouse, I
+beheld two of our fellows helping themselves to some chicken from a
+three-legged iron pot over a smouldering fire. Thereupon, I promptly
+quitted the firing line, and joined in the unexpected meal. It was
+awfully good, I assure you. While finishing the fowl, a New Zealander,
+pale-faced, with a wound in his throat and another in his hand, was
+brought in by two comrades, and a horse, which had been shot, died
+within a few yards of us. I am sorry to say that in this little affair
+we lost an officer and a trooper killed, and several wounded, not to
+mention a considerable amount of killed and wounded horses.
+
+The next day we advanced under a heavy fire from our guns, but met with
+no opposition. Our objective this time was the Zoutpan District, which
+is principally composed of bush veldt.
+
+Here I must pause, and give a veracious account of a certain not
+uninteresting episode, which happened during our march after De Wet in
+the Zoutpan District, and which I will call
+
+
+THE YEOMAN, THE ARGENTINE AND THE FARRIER-SERGEANT.
+
+On Tuesday, August the 22nd, we were advance guard through the bush
+veldt, and shortly after starting, _Bête Noire_, who had gradually been
+failing, gave out, so behold me, alone to all intents and purposes,
+bushed. Of course I immediately took careful bearings, and assuming that
+we should not be changing direction, slowly marched straight ahead.
+After going a considerable distance I got on to a small track, and
+finally, what might be termed by courtesy, a road, and was carefully
+studying it when one of our sergeants and a staff officer rode up. I
+told the latter that my horse was done, and the noble steed bore out my
+statement by collapsing under me as I spoke. The officer advised me to
+wait for the main body and lead my horse on after them, which I did,
+dragging him along for about a dozen weary miles, till I reached the
+camp at dark, just in time to participate in a lovely outlying picket.
+The next morning, having reported the case to the sergeant-major, he
+told me to lead the horse from the camp with the convoy, and instructed
+the farrier-sergeant to shoot him a little way out. So, having put my
+saddle on our waggon and asked the farrier if he had been told about the
+shooting, I proceeded to drag the poor beggar along. After toiling
+forward some considerable distance, I looked around for the man whose
+duty it was to shoot him, but could see him nowhere. So on I pushed,
+inquiring of everybody, "Where is the Farrier-Sergeant?" I lagged behind
+for him, and then toiled, perspiring and ankle deep in dust, ahead for
+him, but found him not. Even during the mid-day halt I could not find
+him, and as the beast had fallen once, I was getting sick of it.
+Everybody I accosted advised me to shoot the brute myself, the same as
+other fellows did in most of the Colonial corps, so at length, to cut
+this part of the story short, giving up all hope of being relieved of my
+burden by the farrier-sergeant, who somewhere was ambling along
+comfortably on a good horse--having again had the sorry steed fall--I
+led him aside from the track of the convoy and ended his South African
+career with my revolver. Alas, _Bête Noire!_ Had we but understood one
+another better the parting would have been a sad one. The case being
+otherwise, I felt, it must be admitted, no regret whatever. And now the
+interesting part of the episode begins. Hearing my shots (I am sorry to
+say I fired more than once in accomplishing my fell deed) the
+farrier-sergeant galloped up. "Who gave you permission to shoot this
+horse?" "Nobody; I couldn't find you, and couldn't lug the brute any
+further." "I shall report you." "I don't care." Then followed high
+words, involving bitter personalities and we parted. After tramping a
+good dozen miles further, I arrived at our camp in the dark, and had the
+luck to find our lines soon. To an interested and sympathetic group of
+comrades I related in full my adventures. Our sergeant-major, who is a
+very good sort, was telling me that it would be all right, when the
+regimental sergeant-major came up and told me that he must put me under
+arrest for shooting my horse without permission, destroying Government
+property (Article 301754, Par. 703, or something like that). There was
+none of the pomp about the affair which I should have liked to see--no
+chains, no fixed bayonets, or loaded rifles. Our sergeant-major, without
+even removing his pipe, said "Ross, you are a prisoner," and I replied
+"Righto," and proceeded to inquire when the autocrats of the cook-house
+would have tea ready. A few days later, I was brought before the
+beak--the officer in command of our squadron. "Quick march. Halt, left
+turn. Salute." This being done, the case was stated. The
+farrier-sergeant told the requisite number of lies. I denied them, but
+of course admitted shooting the beggar. Dirty, unwashed, unkempt,
+unshaven, ragged wretch that I looked, I daresay on a charge of
+double-murder, bigamy and suicide, I should have fared ill. The captain
+gave me what I suppose was a severe reprimand, told me that probably in
+Pretoria I should have to pay something, and said he would have to take
+away my stripe, so down it went, "reduced to the ranks." "Salute! Right
+turn," etc. Thus, did your humble servant lose the Field Marshal's bâton
+which he had so long been carrying in his haversack. Alas, how are the
+mighty fallen! Tell it in Hastings and whisper it in St. Leonards if you
+will, like that dear old reprobate Mulvaney, "I was a corp'ril wanst,
+but aftherwards I was rejooced," _Vive l'Armée! Vive la Yeomanrie!_ All
+the fellows were intensely sympathetic, and indeed, one or two
+particular friends seemed far more aggrieved than myself. I ripped off
+my stripe at once, and tossed it in our bivouac fire, and joined the
+small legion of ex-lance corporals of the Sussex Squadron (five in
+number).
+
+[Illustration: Some of "the pomp & circumstance of Glorious War."]
+
+  "Or ever the blooming war was done,
+      Or I had ceased to roam;
+   I was a slave in Africa,
+      And you were a toff at home."
+
+Hullo! When it comes to poetry it is time to conclude.
+
+P.S.--My costume is holier than ever. Still, I find every cloud has a
+silver lining (though my garments possess none of any kind,
+unfortunately). The great advantage of the present state of one's
+clothes is this, if you want to scratch yourself--and out here on the
+warpath one occasionally does--say it's your arm, you need not trouble
+to take your tunic off; you simply put your hand through the nearest
+hole or rent, and there you are; if it's your leg you do the same, and
+thus a lot of trouble is saved.
+
+
+COMMANDEERING BY ORDER.
+
+                                        NEAR THE RACECOURSE,
+                                          PRETORIA.
+                                            _Friday, August 31st, 1900._
+
+We arrived here on Tuesday last (28th), and since then have been camped
+almost on the very spot where we were in June, and are expecting every
+moment to receive further marching orders. These we should undoubtedly
+have got long ere now, if we had only obtained remounts, which are very
+scarce. General Mahon has gone on to Balmoral with the I.L.H., Lumsden's
+Horse, and other corps with horses, and this morning Colonel Pilcher
+paraded us, New Zealanders, Queenslanders and I.Y., and bade us
+good-bye. He has been connected with the Colonials from the beginning of
+the campaign, and took the Zealanders into their first fight. I am
+feeling awfully fagged to-day, so hope you will, in reading this letter,
+make allowance for extenuating circumstances. If you only knew, I think
+you do, what these letters mean, the self-denied slumbers and washes,
+_fatigues shirked_, books and papers unread, and other little treats
+which comrades have indulged in when the rare and short opportunities
+have occurred--you would forgive much. On Tuesday (August 21st) we had
+five Sussex men and three Somerset in the ranks of our troop of the
+Composite Squadron of Yeomanry, the rest being either in the ambulances
+or leading done (not "dun") horses with the waggons. In this district we
+came across numerous Kaffir villages, from which we drew mealies and
+handed in acknowledgments for the same payable in Pretoria. Reference to
+these papers reminds me that some of the Colonials in commandeering
+horses from peaceful Boer farmers have given them extraordinary
+documents to hand in to the authorities at Pretoria. For instance, one
+paper would contain the statement that Major Nevercomeback had obtained
+a roan mare from Mr. Viljoen Botha, for which he agreed to pay him £20,
+others of which I have heard and since forgotten were intensely amusing.
+On Wednesday (the 22nd) I had to do a footslog, owing to my horse giving
+out. Later I shot him, but I have made a special reference to this
+tragic event and its sequence already. That day we did about 25 miles
+through the bush veldt bearing about N.W. On the line of march not a
+drop of water was to be got. Though thirst is by no means a new
+experience, it is always a disagreeable one. On we trudged with dry,
+parched mouths and lips sticking together as though gummed, the dust
+adhering to our perspiring faces and filling our nostrils and ears. It
+is quaint to note how little on the march men converse with one another.
+On they stolidly tramp or ride hour after hour, side by side, and often
+exchange never a word. On they go, thinking, thinking, thinking. It is
+not hard to guess each other's thoughts, because we know our own. They
+are of home, home, home, nine times out of ten. At dark we reached our
+camp, and from the water-cart, for which we all, as usual, rushed, we
+filled our pannikins and bottles with water, thick, soapy-looking water,
+but to us, cool, refreshing nectar.
+
+Thursday (the 23rd). There was a rumour (there always is) that we were
+to return to Pretoria. But the direction we took on marching belied it.
+Of course, I was "footslogging," but this day, having no horse to drag
+after me, was able to wander more at leisure. A few miles on the way a
+comrade and myself found a lovely flowing stream of the thick water
+before alluded to. Here we had a grand wash, and refilling our water
+bottles set on our journey refreshed. Some miles further on we came upon
+a freshly-deserted Boer store and farmhouse. Near the house we found
+some clips of explosive Mauser cartridges which had been buried by some
+bushes, and probably unearthed by some of the wandering porkers in the
+neighbourhood. Said I to a Tommy of Hamilton's column, as I took a
+handful of cartridges, "These will do as curios." Quoth Thomas
+scornfully, "Curios be blowed, put 'em in the beggars!" Of course, you
+can guess he did not exactly use those identical words, but they will
+do. Then having joined in the destruction of a monster hog, and obtained
+my share of his inanimate form, I, triumphant and perspiring, continued
+to follow the convoy.
+
+Friday (the 24th). This day we expected a big fight, but, as usual,
+because it was expected, it did not come off. Baden-Powell the day
+before had hustled them pretty considerably. We were so close on the
+Boers, that we got half of their ambulances, one being a French
+presentation affair, and driven by a woman, also some waggons. This day
+we did not go very far, our objective being a place known, I believe, as
+Warm Baths (the Harrogate or Sanatorium of the Transvaal). It lies due
+north of Pretoria, and about 40 miles from Pietersburg. Of course, here
+we struck the railway. After picketing the horses, a sick sergeant's
+horse was handed over to me. Most of us got permission to go and get a
+wash. The place was empty--save for some of Baden-Powell's men, who had
+got in at the enemy the day before--a desolate, wind-swept, sandy plain
+on the edge of the bush veldt and at the base of a range of kopjes,
+comprised of about thirty large corrugated iron bath houses (each
+containing two bath rooms), a fairly large hotel and small station--such
+is Warm Baths. The baths were well patronised. Some of our fellows,
+prisoners the Boers had been obliged to leave behind in their
+flight--the rogues had taken the linchpins out of some of the Boer
+waggon wheels to impede them as much as possible--were using them as
+sleeping apartments. As about a score of men were after each bath and
+the doors had no bolts, a bath, though luxurious, was not an altogether
+private affair, the person bathing having continually to answer the
+question of a string of "the great unwashed," "How long shall you be?"
+and having the uneasy knowledge that about half-a-dozen impatient beings
+were waiting, sitting on the door-step and exhorting him "to buck up!" A
+couple of us managed to secure a fine bath, which we enjoyed without
+interruption worthy of mention. The water, which is naturally hot, was
+grand, and so hot that we had to use a lot of the cold, which was also
+laid on.
+
+The next day, Saturday (25th), we rested at Warm Baths, and I think we
+deserved it. If "early to bed and early to rise, make a man healthy,
+wealthy and wise," excepting occasionally the first clause "early to
+bed," I consider we ought all to live the health and longevity of
+Methuselah or Old Parr, the wealth of Croesus or Vanderbilt, and the
+wisdom of Solomon, blended with the guile of the Serpent. Mention of the
+guile reminds me of a simple little incident which occurred to-day, and
+which, months ago, we simple Yeomen would never have perpetrated. A
+terrible thing happened during the night; the sergeant-major's horse had
+got loose from our lines and was missing. Down came that indignant
+officer and sent the whole troop out to find it. Months ago I should
+have gone and searched diligently, and then been cussed for not finding
+the animal. But now, what does the fully-fledged Imperial Yeoman do?
+Grumbling and scowling (you must always do this, as it shows how
+successful the powers have been in delegating a distasteful task to you,
+and pleases them accordingly) with razor, soap and shaving brush in my
+pocket, and a growling, sullen comrade with a towel and sponge in his,
+we two set out in search of the noble steed. However, once out of sight,
+we hied us down to some running water, where we shaved and washed, then,
+filling our pipes, we sat down for an hour and chatted. Finally, we
+returned disconsolate and horseless, only to find that the great man had
+found it himself.
+
+[Illustration: The Government has yet to strike the happy medium in the
+sizes of the uniforms etc. which it provides for its troops.]
+
+Sunday (26th). We got definite orders to march to Pretoria, the sick and
+horseless men having left by rail the previous day in trucks drawn by
+bullocks, till they could get on a more unbroken line. We paraded at 3
+o'clock, and very shortly after starting my new horse became bad and I
+had to again join the convoy. To-day we marched to Pienaars River, the
+bridge here representing a badly-made switchback railway, and those
+marvels of energy, the Engineers, working away merrily at it, with the
+assistance of Kaffirs.
+
+On Monday (27th) our _reveillé_ was at five, and we marched to Waterval,
+where we saw the fine, large aviary in which the Boers kept the British
+prisoners till June, and the next day (Tuesday) we were up at 2.30, and
+marched into Pretoria and camped on the Racecourse at 11 o'clock. No
+sooner had I dragged my horse in and picketed him in our lines, than I
+managed to obtain town leave, and, having hastily washed, I boarded a
+mule waggon and was soon jolted into Pretoria. There I got Mails galore,
+found my kit bag had come up from Cape Town, and met dozens of old
+comrades in the Police, who insisted on making me have tea with them
+(with _condensed milk_ in it, oh, ye gods!) and jam on real _bread_, and
+generally made a fuss of me, and listened with amused attention to a
+truthful account of the death of _Bête Noire_ and my subsequent
+Dreyfus-like degradation. Rattling good fellows they were to me, and
+under their benign influence the petty trials and inconveniences of the
+past seven or eight weeks faded away like a dissolving view. The
+authorities have also served us out with clothes. I have received a
+lovely khaki tunic with beautiful brass buttons stamped with Lion and
+Unicorn, "_Dieu et mon Droit_," and a' that. And the fit is a wonderful
+fit; it is truly marvellous how they can turn out such a well-fitting
+coat for--a big boy of twelve. And I have boots! A grand fit for a
+policeman. Only I am neither a boy of twelve nor a policeman.
+
+
+
+
+WITH CLEMENTS.
+
+
+                                        HEKPOORT,
+                                          _September 5th, 1900._
+
+  We've stood to our nags (confound them!)
+    We've thought of our native land;
+  We have cussed our English brother,
+    (For he does not understand.)
+  We've cussed the whole of creation,
+    And the cross swings low for the morn,
+  Last straw (and by stern obligation)
+    To the Empire's load we've borne.
+
+Monday, September 3rd. _Reveillé_ at three o'clock, and coming after a
+few days of welcome rest in the camp by the Pretoria Racecourse, a camp
+resembling a vast rubbish field with the addition of open latrines, we
+naturally felt more annoyed than when on the march, hence these idle
+rhymes. On Sunday, after a short Divine Service, at which our major
+presided, we had to fall in and draw remounts. Hence "Reveillé," "Saddle
+up and stand to your horses!" I chose rather a good mount in the horse
+corral, but as the sergeants had the privilege of choosing from those we
+drew, I lost it, and so abandoned any intentions of trying to secure
+another good one. There is no attempt on these occasions to see that the
+right man has the right horse: it's "Hobson's choice." Even at Maitland
+camp, where I drew my first mount, no such attempt was made, the
+consequence being that I, scaling about 13-st. or more with my kit on,
+and heaven only knows what with my loaded saddle, drew when my turn came
+a weak little mare, which I had to stick to, to our mutual disadvantage,
+while lighter men drew bigger and stronger horses. Only a few days ago I
+received amongst my mails a letter from my sister, who inquired, "How is
+your horse?" Which one? "Stumbles" is not, "Ponto" is not, "Juggernaut"
+is not, "Diamond Jubilee" is not, "Bête Noire" is not. My present one,
+which I have not named, _is_, and I sometimes wish he wasn't. When I
+drew him at a venture, I vainly hoped he was not like other horses,
+especially that Argentine. Well, apart from stumbling and reverentially
+kneeling on most inopportune occasions, I have not much fault to find
+with him. To-day is our first day on this fresh jaunt (we are to join
+Clements), and already more than half the horses dished out to us seem
+played out. You see they have all passed through the Sick Horse Farm,
+and I presume are really convalescents. They dragged us along at the
+commencement of the day, and we had to drag them along at the end, which
+may sound like an equal division of labour, but which, in my opinion, it
+is not. However, to be very serious, our lives might have to depend upon
+these brutes at any moment, apart from the fact of our necks being
+perpetually in danger on account of their stumbling propensities. Still
+apart from the inconvenience of having to bury one, I fancy there would
+not be much concern on that count. We have halted at Rietfontein which
+is a mile or so from Commando Nek. Here is a large A.S.C. depôt, from
+which columns working in the district can draw supplies. It has been
+quite a treat to have tea by daylight.
+
+Tuesday, September 4th. 'Nother three o'clock _reveillé_! Passing by
+Commando Nek we were surprised at the difference since we were here
+about a month ago. Then the trees were bare, nearly all the veldt burnt
+and black, and the oat fields trodden down. Now the trees are wearing o'
+the green, and the once blackened veldt has assumed a verdant and
+youthful appearance, while the oat fields remind one of home, almost.
+For this is the Krugersdorp District, which we like so well, though,
+alas, the orange groves are on the other side (north) of the
+Magaliesberg. A strange thing happened after passing our old camping
+ground (of about a month ago) at Commando Nek. Instead of recognising
+familiar landmarks and houses, everything seemed strange and new to me.
+Said the man on my left in the ranks, "There's the farm where those
+Tommies got the porkers." To which I remarked vacantly, "Oh!" Then,
+further on, "Haven't the oats come on in that field?" Again, I
+helplessly "Er--yes." Then, "I wonder if they've got any fowls left in
+that shanty over there?" I, dissembling knowledge no longer, at last
+observed, "Really I don't understand it. I can't remember this place a
+bit." To which my neighbour replied, "Don't you remember coming this way
+when we were leading those Argentine remounts?"
+
+_Those Argentine remounts!_ All was explained at last. Of course, I saw
+and remembered naught save those awful brutes.
+
+We caught Clements up at ten o'clock--encamped to our joy--so here we
+are with "piled arms," "saddles off," and "horses picketed." As we came
+into camp we heard once again the Mausers of the snipers afar off. We
+have rigged up a sun shelter and have just dined, our "scoff" (Kaffir
+for "grub") being bread and bully beef.
+
+     _Apropos_:
+
+     _First Yeoman_: "I say, is this bully beef American?"
+
+     _Second Yeoman_: "No, _'Orse_-tralian, I believe."
+
+Wednesday, September 5th.
+
+  "The peaches are a-blooming,
+   And the guns are a-booming,
+   And I want you, my honey,
+        _Yus, I do_."
+
+We had _reveillé_ at a more Christian-like time this morning (4.30), and
+moved out as supports to our other troop (Devons), who were advance
+party. We number eighteen Sussex men, all told, in our ranks, and are
+led by Mr. Stanley, a Somerset I.Y. officer, who on our last trip was in
+charge of the Ross Gun Section, which consisted of two quick-firing Colt
+guns. After bare trees, dry veldt and dusty tracks, it is a real treat
+for one's eyes to see this fine district assuming its spring garb.
+Through the bright green patches of oats and barley we rode, past peach
+trees and bushes in full bloom, sometimes through a hedge of them, the
+pink blooms brushing against one's cheek. Then we came to a bend of the
+Crocodile River, with its rugged banks covered with trees and
+undergrowth, and the water rushing swiftly along between and over the
+huge rocks in its bed. This we forded at the nearest drift, the water
+reaching up to the horses' bellies. The general idea was for us mounted
+troops to clear the valley, and the infantry the ridges of kopjes. We
+were soon being sniped at from the right and the left, by, I presume,
+numerous small parties of Boers, and after riding about a mile were
+dismounted behind a farmhouse, and took up a position on the banks of
+the Crocodile. The scene was truly idyllic. Below us the river in this
+particular place was placidly flowing, the various trees on its banks
+were bursting out in their spring foliage, and birds were twittering
+amongst them: indeed, one cheeky little feathered thing came and perched
+on a peach tree covered in pink blossom close by and piped a matin to
+me, and there was I, lounging luxuriously in the deep grass, a pipe in
+my mouth, a Lee-Enfield across my knees, and a keen eye on the range of
+kopjes opposite. Truly, the spring poet's opportunity, but alas, beyond
+the few lines with which I have dared to head to-day's notes, I could do
+naught in that line. Soon our artillery began throwing shrapnel on the
+top of the objectionable height, and, later, the Mausers began to speak
+a little further on, and that has been the day's game. I don't know our
+losses yet, but we have undoubtedly had some. Our crowd had a horse
+killed, of course. We had a good deal of visiting to do, calling at this
+farm and that, and inquiring if the "good man" was at home. This is the
+usual scene:
+
+Farmhouse of a humble order. A few timid Kaffirs loitering around, also
+a few fowls and slack-looking mongrels. Gentleman in Khaki rides up, and
+in the door appear two or more round-faced women wearing headgear of the
+baby-bonnet mode, dirty-faced children in background.
+
+     _G. in K._: "Where is your husband?"
+
+     _Women_: "Niet verstand."
+
+     _G. in K._: "Where is your brother?"
+
+     _Women_: "Niet verstand."
+
+     _G. in K._: "Is he on those kopjes, potting at us?"
+
+     _Women_: "Niet verstand."
+
+     _G. in K._: "Have many Boers been past here?"
+
+     _Women_: "Niet verstand."
+
+     _G, in K._ (After more interrogatories and more "Niet
+     verstands"): "Oh, hang it, good-bye."
+
+     _Women_ (in distance): "Niet verstand."
+
+Verily, the "niet verstand" or "no savvee" game is a great one out here.
+
+(_Later._) Our casualties were three Northumberland Fusiliers killed and
+eight wounded, one of our Fife comrades shot in the chest, also three
+Roughriders hit, and a fair percentage of horses knocked.
+
+Thursday, September 6th.--_Reveillé_ at four o'clock, and off at
+daybreak. We soon came into action, some of our fellows on the right
+flank getting it particularly hot. Our little lot wheeled and dismounted
+behind a farmhouse, and, wading through a field of waving green barley,
+under fire, took up a position amongst the growth on the near bank of
+the river, from which we let off at some sangars on the top of a kopje
+in front. After a while we returned to our horses, mounted, rode away to
+our right, crossed the river, dismounted behind a rise in the ground,
+and proceeded to occupy some kopjes nearer the enemy, who had retired.
+Some fine sangars were on the hill we occupied, and so we were saved the
+trouble of building any. The one I found myself in was a very
+comfortable and secure affair as regards rifle fire. As, of course, Mr.
+Boer does not show himself over much, we had not much to pot at,
+therefore I made myself as comfortable as possible on the shady side of
+the sangar, and pulled out one of my numerous pocket editions of
+Tennyson (recently acquired in Pretoria) and indulged in a good, though
+occasionally interrupted, read. To a stranger at the game, I should
+imagine that my behaviour at times would have appeared incongruous, for
+while perusing the "Lotos-Eaters" and "Choric Song," the man on my right
+would now and again interrupt me with, "There are some, have a shot at
+'em!" Whereupon I would arise and fire a round or so at the distant
+dots, and then sink down again and resume the sweet poesy, ignoring as
+much as possible the constant bangings of villainous cordite in my ears,
+right and left. Soon we moved on to another position, the
+Northumberlands taking up our old one. The next one was in a stone
+enclosure, which contained a large number of goats and kids. This was
+not so pleasant, as the sun was high, and the place odoriferous.
+
+At about three we were relieved by a Northumberland picket, and returned
+under a sniping fire to where the camp had been pitched. Then the fun
+commenced. A rather distant bang, _whis-sh!_ over our heads; and from
+amongst the infantry blanket shelters a cloud of earth spouted up, and a
+small batch of men cleared off from the vicinity of the explosion. It
+was amusing to see the niggers throw themselves into trenches by the
+roads and fields. Then came another and yet another shell, without any
+more effect than making a hole in a tent, and the men of No. 8 Battery
+Field Artillery (and No. 8 is a deuced smart Battery, by'r leave) dashed
+out from their lines, pushing and dragging their guns, while the "4.7
+gentleman" began moving his long beak in the air as though sniffing for
+the foe. "Give 'em hell, boys!" we cried to the busy gunners, as they
+dashed by us, working at the wheels and drag-ropes, but the Naval man
+spoke first, "Snap--Bang!" and back the gun jumped in a cloud of smoke;
+and presently, far away, from the crest of the kopje under suspicion, a
+cloud of brown arose, and later came the crack of the explosion.
+Meanwhile the Boers went on pitching shells into our camp, and we got
+the order to retire behind a kopje with our horses till it was decided
+what to do with us. Having done this, the shelling soon ceased, and
+later we were taken back to camp, where we off-saddled, picketed our
+horses, and settled down to tea. And then _bang! whish! crack!!_ bang!
+whish! towards us the enemy's shells came again. They had got two guns
+in position, and were working them hard. We were getting some of our own
+back, for the shells we picked up were 15-pounder ones, of British make.
+Our Naval gun barked back viciously at them, and so did the field guns,
+but the enemy were firing with the red and dazzling setting sun, behind
+them, and shining directly in our fellows' eyes, who were blazing
+apparently at poor old Sol, and cussing him and the wily Boer in a
+manner by no means ambiguous. I know not whether we did them any harm or
+not; certainly they shifted their positions once or twice. As regards
+ourselves, it seems beyond belief, no damage was done. The enemy could
+not even boast of the bag which the Americans achieved at Santiago--that
+famous mule.
+
+[Illustration: Oliver Twist on the Veldt.
+
+_Pember, of the Sussex, asking for an extra allowance of tea, at the
+cook-house, while the camp is being shelled by the Boers, at Hekpoort._
+
+(_Persuasively_) "It may be your last chance, Cookie!"]
+
+
+CATTLE LIFTING.
+
+                                        HEKPOORT.
+                                         _Saturday, September 8th, 1900._
+
+I fancy I stopped in my last near the end of a rather long-winded
+account of the shelling we experienced at the hands of Brother Boer, on
+Thursday evening last. To conclude that day's events, we finally shifted
+our horse lines a bit and turned in, spending a night undisturbed by the
+distant booming of the Boer guns or the ear-splitting cracking of our
+4.7. The next day we returned to our old lines, and settled down for a
+good day's rest, as we heard that Clements was waiting for Ridley to
+come up.
+
+I had hardly unsaddled, however, when the sergeant-major came round and
+told half-a-dozen of us to saddle up and go out with the two guides
+(civilians, British farmers, who are with this column and know the
+locality). So we flung on our saddles, and slipping on our bandoliers,
+mounted and set out in our shirt sleeves (mark that!) with our guides in
+their civilian togs (mark that!). From these individuals we gathered we
+were off cattle-lifting, the Boers having left some in a kloof about a
+couple of miles south of the camp. With jocular allusions to our last
+quest of a similar nature (the laager near Rustenburg) we smoked and
+trotted along, comfortable in our shirt sleeves after so much of the
+usual marching order. Following, came four "boys" to drive the cattle
+home. We soon reached our objective. The "boys" were sent into the
+kloof, while we dismounted a little way up the stone-covered kopje on
+the right, and leaving a couple to look after the gees, the guides and
+the remainder of us started to climb the heights and cover the "boys" if
+necessary. Soon a rifle report was heard, and then another. The guides
+said it was a picket of ours firing on us in mistake from the kopje on
+the left, and suggested that one of us should work round and let them
+know who we were. Most of us argued that the report was a Mauser one.
+However, the guides prevailed, and I was deputed for the job, when the
+"boys" came running in breathless and told us pantingly that Boers had
+been sniping them. So seeing that it would be impossible under the
+circumstances to lift the cattle, we retired on our horses, mounted and
+moved off. And then the beggars, who had evidently moved up closer, gave
+it to us fairly warm, and we had to open out and break into a gallop in
+the direction of the camp. We were about clear of the Mausers and riding
+through some bush, when, suddenly above a stone wall not a hundred yards
+in front of us, helmets and heads appeared, also glistening rifle
+barrels, which pointed, oh no, not on the kopje behind, but on us. [This
+is where the civilian clothes and shirt sleeves came in.] An officer
+shouted "Don't fire! Don't fire!!! Down with those rifles." This order
+was obeyed reluctantly, then "Who are you?" "Friends! Yeomanry!" "What
+Yeomanry?" "Sussex." "All right." They proved to be a picket of the
+Northumberland Fusiliers. Then we crossed a drift, our horses nearly
+having to swim, and finally reached camp. This morning (Saturday,
+September 8th) our squadron and the Fifes had to go back about
+half-a-dozen miles to meet Ridley. Our troop acted as advance party. It
+was rather an interesting sight to see the two parties meet; the advance
+of Ridley's force was Kitchener's Horse. When we met, we halted and
+chatted, waiting for orders. As we did so, the merry snipers started a
+desultory fire, which gradually became more rapid. Several suspected
+houses in the vicinity, whose owners had, as usual, taken the oath of
+neutrality and broken it--_Punica Fides_ will have to give way to a new
+phrase, Boer Faith--were then burnt down. War is not altogether a game,
+it has its stern aspect. The women and children were loud in their
+lamentations as the red flames blazed and the dense smoke rolled away on
+the fresh breeze which was blowing. They cursed us and wept idle tears,
+but they had their own dear friends, husbands and sons, to thank after
+all, as nearly all the sniping in this lovely valley is being done by
+the farmers who live in it. We brought about 25 Boers in camp with us,
+either suspected or to save them from temptation. To see them, with
+their roll of blankets, saying good-bye to their weeping families would
+have touched anything but the hardened, homesick heart of a "Gentleman
+in Khaki," for he knows full well that the simple peasant in this, as in
+other localities, usually combines business with pleasure by sniping you
+in the morning and selling you eggs in the afternoon, as our troop
+leader puts it.
+
+[Illustration: Hate.]
+
+Sunday, September 9th. A late _reveillé_ (6 o'clock). A lovely, lazy day
+in camp, during which I have been stewing fruit, smoking, and, alas, my
+bad habits still cling to me, perpetrated for my own amusement a little
+rough-and-ready rhyme, which I have the temerity to enclose. We had a
+short service, at which our O.C. Major Percy Browne, a real good man,
+presided. Ridley, who works with Clements, the same as Mahon did with
+Ian Hamilton, has with him Roberts' Horse, Kitchener's Horse, some
+Australians, the 2nd and 6th M.I., some artillery and two pom-poms. We
+advance to-morrow.
+
+
+ANOTHER VERSION.
+
+    Into our camp, from far away,
+    Somebody's darling came one day--
+    Somebody's darling, full of grace,
+    Wearing yet on his youthful face,
+    Soon to be hid by a stubbly growth,
+    The fatted look of a life of sloth.
+    Thus to our camp, from far away,
+    Somebody's darling came one day.
+
+    Parted and oiled were the locks of gold,
+    Kissing the brow of patrician mould,
+    And pale as the Himalayan snows;
+    Spotlessly clean were his khaki clothes.
+    It was a cert', beyond any doubt,
+    Somebody's darling had just come out.
+
+    Wond'rous changes were quickly wrought.
+    Somebody's darling marched and fought.
+    Somebody's darling learned to shoot,
+    Somebody's darling loved to loot;
+    Somebody's darling learned to swear,
+    And neglected to part his hair.
+
+    After riding and marching weary leagues,
+    Somebody's darling was set on fatigues--
+    Set on fatigues for dreary hours,
+    Thinking of home, its fruits and flowers.
+    Somebody's darling's ideals were quashed;
+    Somebody's darling went unwashed.
+
+    Somebody's darling cussed sergeants big,
+    Somebody's darling killed a young pig:
+    Then dressed and trimmed it ready to eat,
+    First of many a butcherly feat;
+    Somebody's dear caring naught for looks,
+    Joined the army of amateur cooks.
+
+    Somebody's darling drank water muddy;
+    Somebody's darling saw men all bloody;
+    Somebody's darling heard bullets fly;
+    Somebody's darling saw comrades die;
+    Somebody's darling was playing the game,--
+    Thousands and thousands were doing the same.
+
+    Somebody's darling rose long before morn;
+    Somebody's darling went tattered and torn;
+    Somebody's darling longed for a bite,
+    Half-baked by day and frozen by night.
+    Somebody's darling received Mails sometimes,
+    And his joy was beyond my idle rhymes.
+
+    Somebody's darling was sniped one fierce day,
+    An ambulance jolted him far away;
+    Somebody's darling had got it bad,
+    Somebody at home would soon be sad.
+    Somebody's darling grew worse--then died.
+    And--that was the end of Somebody's Pride.
+
+
+DELAREY GIVES US A FIELD DAY.
+
+                                        _Monday, September 10th, 1900._
+
+We had _reveillé_ at 3.30, and moved off as advance party before dawn.
+It was not long before we got into action. In less than a mile from our
+camp we found _frère_ Boer, who made his presence known to us in the
+usual way, that is, with his Mauser, Express, Martini-Henry, or elephant
+gun; of course, the first is his usual weapon. Not to be too
+long-winded, we carried ridge after ridge of kopje for several miles. On
+one occasion the enemy and ourselves rushed for the top of two different
+kopjes, wherefrom to pepper one another. We only just had time to take
+cover in a sangar as they opened fire from the opposite hill. Their
+bullets buzzed and whistled over us, bringing down twigs from a tree
+just by me, and striking the stones with a nasty sound. Later, the
+infantry (Worcesters), advancing from behind, began firing over us at
+the enemy; indeed, for a little time, we were very uncertain whether
+they were not mistaking us for t'others. Anyhow, their bullets came most
+infernally close, and necessitated our taking careful cover from the
+missiles in rear as well as those in front. At last we came to the
+enemy's main position, which was a fine natural one, and our artillery
+came into play--we resting for a bit, and the infantry forming up to
+advance under their fire. Then hell got loose. Bang, bang, bang went our
+field guns; boom went the 4.7; pom-pom-pom-pom-pom went the
+Vickers-Maxims; rap-rap-rap-rap-rap-rap went the Maxims; bang, bang went
+their field guns; up-um, up-um, up-um went their Mausers; crack, crack
+went our rifles. Imagine the above weapons and a few others, please, all
+firing, not so much to make themselves heard at the same time (they did
+that), but to destroy, kill and maim, and you can guess it was hard for
+a poor tired beggar to sleep. I was fagged out, and when we rested while
+our gunner friends had their innings, laid down in the blazing noon-day
+sun, and, with a stone for a pillow, half-dozed for an hour or so. I was
+roused by a comrade to look in front of me, it was a wonderful sight.
+About a mile-and-a-half of the Boer position was a blackened line
+fringed with flame and smoke, but they were still determinedly trying to
+stop our infantry from occupying a long kopje in front of them, and
+answering our guns with theirs. That night was almost a sleepless one,
+for though dead fagged, we all had to do pickets on the ground we had
+won. The next morning Delarey had disappeared, but we know we shall meet
+him again.
+
+It is a fine sight to see British infantry advance. With rolled
+blanket, and mess-tin a-top, filled haversack, the accursed
+"hundred-and-fifty"[5] pulling at his stomach, pipe in mouth, and
+rifle sloped (butt up as a rule), Mr. Thomas Atkins of the Line goes
+leisurely forward. I do not know yet what the casualties were. Of
+the Worcesters who passed us, one poor fellow was shot through the
+head, and about ten wounded; we had none, save a nag shot by
+Roberts' Horse in mistake.
+
+         [Footnote 5: The hundred-and-fifty rounds of ammunition which
+         always have to be carried by Thomas Atkins.]
+
+
+BURNT TO DEATH.
+
+                                        HEKPOORT.
+                                         _Thursday, Sept. 13th, 1900._
+
+We returned to this, our old camp, yesterday, and are resting here for a
+day or more, one never knows for certain how long these rests will last
+when out on the war path. Yesterday (the 12th) we had a fairly late
+_reveillé_, and then, acting as advance guard, returned hither by way of
+a valley running parallel with this, and through which Ridley advanced
+when we had our little scrap with Delarey at Boschfontein, on Monday
+last. By-the-bye, I was yarning, while washing at a stream near here
+this morning, with some Worcesters, who told me they had five killed and
+fifteen wounded on that day. Two poor fellows were found burned out of
+all recognition on the charred veldt the next day. They had been left
+wounded and had been unable to crawl away from the blazing grass. The
+valley we passed through yesterday was, in parts, more charming than
+this. One little village, called Zeekooe, was a particularly pleasant
+spot, the houses being half-hidden by the white pear blossoms, the pink
+peach, and the various green foliages of the trees, for this is Spring,
+when "the young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love," and here
+am I ----, well, well!! Even my old foe, the two-inch thorn bush, has
+assumed a light-green muslin bridal veil. All this bursting into leaf is
+most refreshing, to me at least, and I doubt not no less welcome to the
+noble Boer sniper, who now gets more cover than was possible a month
+ago. As we left camp, he was sniping away merrily, and about as
+ineffectively as usual. When we crossed the kopjes to get to this valley
+we came by way of a fine mountain road. Sheer down below us rushed the
+river Magaliz, crystal clear, splashing and bubbling over the big rocks
+in its bed, with weeping willows dipping down from amidst the thick
+undergrowth on its banks, while now and again a garden from a farm near
+ran to its edge, with vivid patches of young oats and lemon trees. On
+arrival in camp, we heard that some Boers had been discovered in some
+undergrowth, by a stream on our left flank, so we set off, and beating
+it got six armed.
+
+The barbed-wire curse is great in this Eden-like valley, and when you
+consider that the advance mounted parties have to go straight ahead
+through fields and back gardens, the garden walls of which are
+invariably represented by barbed-wire fencing, you can comprehend that
+our work is more often than not, no easy matter, especially as
+wire-nippers are as rare as brandies and sodas, and even when possessed
+are not much assistance in surmounting the wide and deep irrigation
+cutting, which is often on the other side of the fence. Again, bogs are
+not infrequently come across--_across_, by the way, is hardly the word
+to use. Only a few days ago I was riding towards what I deemed to be a
+passable ford, when I met a Rough Rider (72nd I.Y.) coming back from it.
+I casually asked him if it was all right, to which he replied that it
+was a bit boggy, and then incidentally added, "We've just shot one of
+our fellows' horses that got stuck and we couldn't get out." Whereupon I
+took a more circuitous route, a proceeding which I did not regret, when
+later, I saw the poor, horseless Rough toiling in the broiling sun, his
+huge saddle covering his head and shoulders, after the tail of the
+convoy, in hopes of catching it and depositing his burden on a waggon.
+
+
+THE INFECTION OF SPRING AGAIN.
+
+I must apologise for the enclosed doggerel. Last night, round one of our
+fires, we were alluding to the various uses we have made of that deadly
+weapon, the bayonet, and it was suggested that I, as a Spring Poet,
+should record them in verse, hence the enclosed:--
+
+  THE BALLAD OF THE BAYONET.
+
+  (Sussex Yeoman _loq._)
+
+  Did I ever use the bay'nit, sir?
+  In the far off Transvaal War,
+  Where I fought for Queen and country, sir,
+  Against the wily Boer.
+  Aye, many a time and oft, sir,
+  I've bared the trusty blade,
+  And blessed the dear old Homeland, sir,
+  Where it was carefully made.
+
+             _Chorus_:
+
+    _Then here's to the British bay'nit
+    Made of Sheffield steel,
+    And here's to the men who bore it--
+    Stalwart men and leal._
+
+  You notice the dents on the edge, sir,
+  At Bronkhurst Spruit they were done;
+  I was getting a door for a fire,
+  For out of wood we had run.
+  I was smiting hard at the door, sir,
+  Or rafter, I'm not sure which,
+  When I struck on an iron screw, sir,
+  And the bay'nit got this niche.
+
+  'Tis my mighty Excalibur, sir,
+  I've used it in joy and grief,
+  For digging up many a tater,
+  Or opening bully beef.
+  I have used it for breaking wire,
+  Making tents 'gainst rain and sun;
+  I have used it as a hoof-pick,
+  In a hundred ways and one.
+
+  Oh, how did the point get blunted, sir?
+  I was driving it home
+  As a picketing peg for my horse,
+  So that he should not roam.
+  I drove it in a little, sir,
+  And then in my haste, alas,
+  I stubbed the point on a rock, sir,
+  Some inches below the grass.
+
+  You ask if it e'er took a life, sir?
+  Aye, I mind the time full well;
+  I had spotted him by a farm, sir,
+  And went for him with a yell.
+  He tried to escape me hard, sir,
+  But I plunged it in his side,
+  And there by his own backyard, sir,
+  A healthy porker died.
+
+  But did I draw it in action?
+  You ask me roughly now.
+  Yes, we were taking a kopje,
+  The foe were on the brow.
+  We drew and fixed our bay'nits,
+  The sun shone on the steel;
+  Death to the sniping beggars
+  We were about to deal.
+
+  Then, sweating and a-puffing,
+  We scaled the rocky height,
+  But when we reached the top, sir.
+  The foe was out of sight.
+
+  Has it e'er drawn human blood?
+  Yes, once, I grieve to say;
+  It was not in a battle,
+  Or any bloody fray;
+  'Twas just outside Pretoria.
+  The deed was never meant,
+  I slipped and fell on the point, sir,
+  'Twas quite by accident.
+
+             _Chorus_:
+
+    _Then here's to the British bay'nit,
+    Made of Sheffield steel,
+    And here's to the men who bore it,
+    Stalwart men and leal.
+    And here's to the Millenium,
+    The time of peaceful peace,
+    When neighbours shall love each other,
+    And wicked wars shall cease._
+
+
+DEATH OF LIEUTENANT STANLEY.
+
+Monday, September 17th. There is a funeral to-day--an officer's--and we
+(the Composite Squadron) are stopping in camp for it, as it concerns us.
+So I will tell you all about it. Yesterday was Sunday, seldom a day of
+rest out here. We, the three squadrons of Yeomanry attached to Clements'
+force, were sent out early on a reconnaissance. Without any opposition
+we advanced in a westerly direction towards Boschfontein, almost the
+same way as on Monday last, for about four miles, the Devon and Dorset
+troops of our squadron being on the right, our Sussex troop on the left,
+the Roughriders (72nd I.Y.) in reserve, and the Fife Light Horse
+scouting ahead. The Fifes had reached the foot of a high grass-covered
+kopje, and were about to ascend it, when the enemy opened a hot fire on
+them, causing them to scoot for their lives, which they managed to do
+successfully. We then galloped up, dismounted, and opened fire on the
+hill-top, the Devons and Dorsets doing the same on our right, and the
+Fifes falling back on our left. Where the Roughs were we never knew,
+probably their officers did. Taking into account the absence of the Nos.
+3, with the led horses, and one group of our troop being sent some
+distance to the left, we only numbered six and our officer, Mr.
+Stanley, well-known in the cricket world as a Somerset county man. Our
+led horses were in a donga in the rear. The position we occupied, I
+should mention, was at the base of a kopje opposite to that held by the
+Boers. We were sighting at 2,000, when our captain, Sir Elliot Lees,
+rode up and said he could not make out where the Devons and Dorsets who
+should have been on our right, were. As a matter of fact they had
+retired unknown to us. This the wily Boers had seen and quickly taken
+advantage of, for Sergeant-Major Cave, of the Dorsets, rushing up to us
+crouching down, told us to fire to our right front, where some trees
+were about three or four hundred yards away, and from which a heavy fire
+was being directed at us. Sir Elliot Lees then came up again from our
+left. Mr. Stanley, seeing the hot corner we were in, retired us about a
+dozen yards back to the deepest part of the donga, where our led horses
+were, and ordered the fellows with the horses to retire, and later, gave
+the command for us to do the same in rushes by threes. Meanwhile our
+bandoliers were nearly empty, and the Boers were creeping round to our
+right, which would enable them to enfilade our position. The first three
+retired, and we were blazing away to cover them, with our heads just
+showing as we fired over the top of the donga, when the man on my right
+said, "Mr. Stanley is hit," and looking at him, for he was close to me
+on my left, I saw he was shot through the head, the blood pouring down
+his face. Sir Elliot, the other man, and myself were the only ones left
+in the donga then, so the captain, taking hold of poor Stanley by his
+shoulders, and I his legs, we started to carry him off. As we picked him
+up, he insisted, in a voice like that of a drunken man, on somebody
+bringing his carbine and hat. "Where's my rifle an' hat? Rifle an' hat!"
+The third man took them and gat--I heard this later. You have no idea
+what a weight a mortally-wounded man is, and the poor fellow was in
+reality rather lightly built. On we went, stumbling over stones, a
+ditch, and into little chasms in the earth. Once or twice he mumbled,
+"Not so fast, not so fast!" The bullets buzzed, whistled, and hummed by
+us, missing us by yards, feet, and inches, knocking up the dust and
+hitting the stones and thorn bushes we staggered through. We, of course,
+presented a big mark for the Boers, and were not under any covering
+fire so far as I am aware. The captain, who is grit all through, soon
+found it impossible to carry the poor fellow by the shoulders, the
+weight being too much for him, so I offered, and we changed places, Sir
+Elliot taking his legs and on we went, pausing, exhausted, perspiring
+and breathless, now and again, for a rest. At last, turning to our left,
+we reached a little bit of cover, thanks to a friendly rise in the
+ground, and falling into a kind of deep rut with Stanley's body on top
+of me, I waited while the captain went to see if he could get any
+assistance. Presently he returned with a Somerset man; and a minute or
+so later a Fife fellow, a medical student, came up. The former and I
+then got him on a little farther. After a few minutes' deliberation, the
+captain said, reluctantly, "we must leave him." We all three asked
+permission to stay. To which Sir Elliot replied, "I don't want to lose
+an officer and three men. Come away, men!" We then moved the poor fellow
+into a cutting about two feet deep and three feet wide, and arranged a
+haversack under his head. As we loitered, each unwilling to leave him
+first, Sir Elliot thundered at us to come on, saying, "I don't know why
+it is, but a Yeoman never will obey an order till you've sworn at him."
+Then reluctantly we set off in single file, working our way back by the
+bank of a stream, and still under cover of the rise in the ground, a
+little way up which we found one of our Sussex men, with his horse
+bogged to the neck. Further on we paused a moment, and the Fife man,
+saying that he thought the wound was not mortal, suggested that it would
+be well for somebody to be with Stanley so as to prevent him from
+rolling on it, and then asked permission to return. My Fife friend had
+not seen what I had. He had only seen where the bullet went in, not
+where it came out. Seeing that the captain was about to give him
+permission, I said "Mr. Stanley is my officer, sir, and I have the right
+to go," and he let me. I gave one my almost-empty bandolier, and another
+my haversack, telling him it contained three letters for the post,
+and--if necessary, to post them. My rifle I had already thrown into a
+ditch at Sir Elliot's command. Then I worked my way back, hoping that I
+should not be shot before reaching him. I got there all right, and
+evidently unseen; lying down by him, I arranged my hat so as to keep
+the sun off his face, and cutting off part of my left shirt-sleeve,
+with the water from my bottle, used half of it to bathe his temples and
+wipe his bubbling, half-open mouth. The other I moistened, and laid over
+the wound. He was quite unconscious, of course, and his case hopeless.
+Once I thought he was gone, but was mistaken. The second time, however,
+there was no mistake.
+
+I waited by the brave man--who had been our troop leader for the last
+fortnight, and who had, I am sure, never known fear--for some time
+deliberating what to do. Shots were still being fired from somewhere in
+my vicinity, while our firing I had gloomily noted had receded, and
+finally ceased. By-and-bye, all was silent, then a bird came and chirped
+near me and a butterfly flitted by. At length, as it appeared to me
+useless to wait by a dead man, I determined to get back to camp, if
+possible, instead of waiting to be either shot in cold blood, or made a
+prisoner. After carefully going through all his pockets, from which I
+took his purse, watch, whistle, pipe, pouch, and notebook, and,
+attaching his glasses to my belt, having arranged him a little and laid
+my bloody handkerchief over his face, I got up, and worked my way along
+by the river bank till compelled to go into the open. I trusted to a
+great extent to my khaki on the dry grass, and daresay it saved me from
+making much of a mark; but spotted I was, and from the right and left
+the bullets came very thick and unpleasantly close. For about a mile I
+was hunted on the right and left like a rabbit. At first I ran a little,
+but was done, and soon dropped into a staggering walk. After a while I
+came on Dr. Welford and his orderly behind some rocks, just coming out,
+but when he heard my news he turned back, and, as I refused to use his
+horse, which he offered me, at my request rode off, and got potted at a
+good deal. Further on, he waited for me. He is a brick, our doctor; and
+when he learnt I was thirsty, and he saw my tired condition (the sun on
+my bare head had been most unpleasant) he offered me a drop of whisky
+and water, adding, "You'd better have it when we get round the bend of
+the kopje ahead." I thanked him, and said I thought it would be more
+enjoyable _there_. Enjoy it I did. Finally I reached the camp and told
+the captain the sad news, at the same time handing in the gallant
+officer's belongings. His watch was at 12.5 when I left him. Sir Elliot
+was most kind to me, and said I had acted gallantly, and he had told the
+major (commanding us). Then Major Browne came up, and he was also very
+complimentary. Of course, there was nothing in what I had done that any
+other man would not have done, and I told them so, especially as the
+example set by the captain made it impossible for a man to be other than
+cool. Lieutenant Stanley, who took command of us when we left Pretoria a
+fortnight ago, had soon become very popular, for he was a thorough
+sportsman, keen as mustard, quite unaffected and absolutely fearless. I
+feel pleased with myself for taking everything off the poor fellow
+before I left him; for when, late last night, the ambulance came in with
+him, the doctor's orderly told me that they found him stripped of his
+boots, gaiters, and spurs--which was all that were left worth taking.
+
+
+HIS BURIAL.
+
+  "And far and wide,
+   They have done and died,
+      By donga, and veldt, and kloof,
+   And the lonely grave
+   Of the honored brave,
+      Is a proof--if we need a proof."
+                                 _E. Wallace._
+
+Tuesday, September 18th. We buried Lieut. Stanley yesterday at mid-day,
+the sergeants acting as bearers, we Sussex men (of the dozen of us, two
+were with him at Eton and one at Oxford) composed the firing party,
+while the whole squadron, officers and men followed. About
+three-quarters of a mile from our present camp, in the garden of a
+Scotchman, named Jennings, by a murmuring, running stream, and beneath
+some willows, we laid him. By the side of the grave was a bush of
+Transvaal may, covered in white blossom, at the end were roses to come,
+and away back and front were the white-covered pear trees and
+pink-covered peach, perfuming the clear, fresh air, while on the sides
+of the babbling stream were ferns and a species of white iris. Sewn up
+in his rough, brown, military blanket, he was lowered to his last
+resting-place, the major reading the Burial Service.
+
+  "---- Is cut down like a flower."
+
+He could not have been more than twenty-five. Then, "Fire three volleys
+of blank ammunition in the air. Ready! Present! Fire!" Again and again,
+and the obsequies of a brave officer and true English gentleman and
+sportsman were over.
+
+I am sorry to say that we have a Sussex sergeant missing--killed or
+prisoner. We are most anxious to know his fate, poor fellow. So, out of
+the seven of us in that hot corner, one is dead, one is not, and Heaven
+only knows how the others escaped, myself in particular.
+
+Wednesday, September 19th. This morning we advanced about half-a-dozen
+miles, and pitched our camp here--Doornkloof is the name of the place, I
+believe.
+
+Thursday, September 20th. Ridley's column has gone back in the direction
+of Pretoria to Rietfontein, as escort to a convoy, principally composed
+of waggons loaded with oat hay. I hear, and hope it is true, that he has
+our letters.
+
+Friday, September 21st. Had to do a picket on an outlying kopje. The
+stable guard, who should have _reveilléed_ us at three forgot to do so,
+and later, when we were aroused, we had to saddle up and clear off at
+once. I had to go off _sans café_ (which is breakfast), and worse still
+in my hurry _sans_ pipe. Oh, how that worried me, my pipe which I have
+kept and smoked through all till now. Somebody might tread on it and
+break it, or find it and not return it. On the kopje a friend lent me
+his emergency pipe, over which a lot of quinine powder had been upset,
+so I had a few smokes, in which the flavour of quinine prevailed
+unpleasantly. Still, I have no doubt it was healthy. But, oh, where was
+my pipe, should I ever see it again? "There is a Boer outpost over
+there." "Yes, but I wonder what the deuce has become of my pipe," and
+then I bored my vigilant fellow sentinel with the history of that pipe.
+With the sun pouring down on us without shelter, without any grub, and
+not a drop of water (my bottle I left by Stanley), we were stuck up on
+that kopje till past sunset. Where was my pipe, should I get it all
+right? At last we got back to camp, and, overjoyed, I received from a
+friend my pipe, which he had picked up in the lines. Then, having
+partaken of tea, I found myself in for a sleepless night as stable
+picket. But it didn't matter, I had got my pipe.
+
+Saturday, September 22nd.
+
+  "There is a foe who deals hard knocks,
+      In a combat scarce Homeric:
+   It's _not_ the Boer, who snipes from rocks,
+      But fever known as Enteric."
+
+The idea I have partly expressed in the above lines, is as you know,
+correct. The Boer from behind his rock snipes you at a distance, but
+Sister Enteric, though unseen, as Brother Boer, is nearer to us. She is
+with us in our camps, when we eat and when we drink--often parched,
+recklessly drink--and close, unseen and unheard, deals her blows. And
+when they are dealt, the nervous ones amongst us _think_. For common
+report hath it that the illness takes roughly about three weeks to
+develop, and the nervous man thinks back what did he drink three weeks
+ago, or thinking of what he ate or drank the day before, dreads the
+developments three weeks may bring. When we came in last night we heard
+that a poor fellow of our squadron had succumbed to it, and was to be
+buried the next morning at 5.30. We bury soon out here. So once again
+this week, I formed a unit of the firing party, and did the slow march
+with reversed arms. We clicked the three volleys at the grave. Later, we
+had two more funerals, the result of Brother Boer's handiwork. They were
+two men of Kitchener's Horse, who had dropped behind Ridley's force at
+Hekpoort, and had ridden to Mrs. Jennings' farm to buy some bread. These
+two were shot by over half-a-dozen concealed Boers at about twenty yards
+range. No attempt was made to make them prisoners, and they were
+practically unarmed, having revolvers only. Their bodies were riddled.
+
+Sunday, September 23rd.
+
+  "Oh, happy man in study quiet,
+      On data and statistics,
+  Making copy of our diet,
+      Please soften our biscuits!"
+
+This afternoon having borrowed a magazine from a Rough, in exchange for
+an old one I picked up in the Fife lines, I have in common with the
+sharer of my blanket shelter derived infinite entertainment from an
+article therein contained, entitled "Feeding the Fighting Man." Of
+course, it is illustrated with photographs, the first one depicting a
+sleek and stiff Yeomanic-looking, khaki-clad being standing by the side
+of a swagger little drawing-table covered with a fringed tablecloth, and
+obviously groaning under what we learn are the gentleman's daily
+rations. Apart from the article, this picture alone is calculated to
+make one's mouth water. The article opens with an extract from that
+great book, "The Soldier's Pocket Book." Here it is, "It may be taken as
+an accepted fact that the better the men are fed the more you will get
+out of them, the better will be their health and strength, the more
+contented will they be, and the better will be their discipline," all of
+which is gospel truth. The article, as I have already remarked, is very
+entertaining. Here is a little extract--"fresh meat and bread have been
+issued daily, almost without a single exception, to troops at the
+front." We know the fresh meat, good old trek ox! Always delightfully
+fresh--and tough. And the bread, yes, the bread, well-er-the bread, yes,
+the bread! If I had read this article at home, being somewhat of a
+gourmand, I should certainly have rushed off and enlisted directly after
+reading as far as the middle, where we learn that every soldier is
+allowed daily--oh, the list is too long to give you. There is one little
+thing the scribe overlooked, and that is the waggon crowd, the
+quartermaster-sergeant and his satellites. It may also be of interest to
+you to know that certain non-coms. and men of the A.S.C. have made large
+sums of money out here. I have heard of one who made three or four
+hundred pounds in a few months, hem! Of course, they are exceptions in a
+corps which has, as everyone knows, done grand work. Our running
+commentaries as I read the article through, would have made excellent
+marginal reading, if such notes could have been added for a future
+edition.
+
+Yesterday, a fresh epidemic visited our camp--football. Some person,
+evilly disposed I presume, produced a football which after a "good blow
+out" (oh, happy football) was kicked in the midst of a crowd of wild
+enthusiasts. We soon had a casualty, a sergeant stubbing his big toe
+badly on a boulder; now he can hardly walk. I believe there were a few
+other minor casualties. Thirty enteric cases were taken into Pretoria
+with the last convoy. I am slowly but surely learning to spread jam very
+thinly on biscuit, one of the most difficult accomplishments I have had
+to learn out here. My jam spreading having hitherto been at once the
+scandal and horror of my messmates.
+
+On Monday morning one of Bethune's Horse came into our camp, he had been
+a Boer prisoner, and had escaped from Rustenburg, which they are at
+present occupying (I think it is their turn this month). He had been
+wandering for fourteen days, or rather nights, for it was then he
+travelled--a native chief had supplied him with a guide, who piloted him
+about, and kept him going on berries and such like. He said to me, "I
+was glad to see English faces again," and I, who in a small way know
+what it is to be hunted, believed him, you bet.
+
+
+PROMOTED TO FULL CORPORAL.
+
+Tuesday, September 25th. Yesterday we moved out to meet and escort
+Ridley in with the convoy from Pretoria. About a couple of miles out we
+heard guns, and I thought probably we should have a bit of scrapping,
+but we did not beyond some half-hearted sniping. To my surprise and
+delight Ridley brought mails, my portion being eleven letters. Some had
+the home post mark of May 25th, and the others August 7th. I must leave
+off for a space here, as I have to carve an epitaph for the poor fellow
+who died a few days ago. You see one's occupations out here are many and
+varied.
+
+(_Resumed._)
+
+Yesterday evening the orderly sergeant came down to my wigwam, and asked
+for my regimental number, which I gave him without asking the reason
+why. Soon he returned and congratulated me, saying I had been promoted
+to full corporal over poor Stanley's affair. My many comrades also have
+warmly congratulated me on my return to my former state, or rather above
+it, for it is a case of wearing two stripes now.
+
+Wednesday, September 26th. On this day we advanced. Our column did not
+come in for the usual amount of attention from our friend the enemy, the
+reason being that a gentleman friend of ours, General Broadwood, was
+pounding away at them from one side, and Ridley from another. All the
+same we had a very busy day, scouting and occupying kopjes. Our guns
+fired at some Boer waggons, causing their escort to clear, and leave
+them for us. Our infantry got them and had a good time. They are fine
+fellows, are our infantry, and deserve all they can get in the loot
+line. Late in the afternoon we surrounded a suspicious-looking kloof,
+full of thick undergrowth, and captured a couple of the peaceful
+peasants of the Arcadian dorp (fontein, kloof or spruit) we were then
+occupying. A man in quest of loot found them, to his great surprise.
+They were of the _genus snipa_. One had an elephant gun and the other a
+Martini. We had had _reveillé_ at 2.30, and breakfast a little later.
+From then till about six in the evening I had only a few bits of
+biscuit, and once a drop of water, but felt none the worse for my little
+fast.
+
+Thursday, September 27th. We got us up at 3.30. On going to saddle up I
+found that my horse was gone. However, after a careful search, I found
+him, though he had changed colour and size. When in the Yeomanry, do as
+the Yeomen do. So having got a mount I was soon on parade. We then
+ascended a big kopje and were placed at various observation posts till
+such time as the convoy should move off. On the top of this kopje were
+numerous tree-locusts, these are far more swagger in appearance than
+their khaki-clad brethren, being green and yellow, with a crimson and
+purple lining to their wings; but their whole appearance is so
+artificial, that my first impression on seeing one was that it had flown
+out of a Liberty Shop. From the various uncomplimentary remarks one
+hears passed on the locust, I imagine the name must be derived from the
+expression "low cuss." At 3.30 the tail of the beastly but necessary
+convoy had succeeded in negotiating the usual non-progressive drift, and
+we left our kopje to form its rear guard. My horse and I went a lovely
+howler soon after starting--my first spill. I got up feeling all the
+better for the experience, and soon had another. In this my rifle got
+broken.
+
+Friday, September 28th. We arrived at Olifant's Nek with the convoy at
+3.30 a.m. a bit tired, found lukewarmed-up tea, bully and biscuits
+awaiting us, and then turned in, and just and unjust slumbered soundly
+till a late _reveillé_, 6 o'clock, bundled us out to feed our horses. My
+latest acquisition I found had vamoosed or been vamoosed. In searching
+for it, I found my old one. Then, having foraged around at our waggon
+and secured a Lee-Metford, I was once again fully equipped. At about 10,
+we advanced through the bush veldt as far as our present camping ground,
+which is called Doornlaagte, I believe.
+
+Saturday, September 29th. As we are resting here to-day I will continue
+my diary-like letter.
+
+(_Resumed._)
+
+My fell intentions of writing this morning were knocked on the head, as
+we had to go out on a patrol. Our latest _rôles_ being that of
+resurrectionists, or grave desecrators. The reason was that certain
+tombs had been regarded with grave suspicion (I beg your pardon) our
+"intelligence" people imagining them to contain buried arms, ammunition,
+or treasure. However, on our arrival at the spot, a close inspection
+made it evident that they were _bonâ-fide_ affairs, not Mauser-leums,
+and by no means new as reported, so we left the rude forefathers of the
+hamlet undisturbed.
+
+Sunday, September 30th. We have just marched back from Doornlaagte
+through Olifant's Nek, and are camped here, a mile beyond. To-day is a
+regular Sunday-at-Home day. It has been quite a record day, especially
+for a Sabbath, for we have not heard a single Mauser go off.
+
+Monday, October 1st. Another month! Actually a year ago this month the
+war commenced, and there are still corners on the slate unwiped, and we,
+the poor wipers, are industriously wiping, and certainly cannot complain
+of a lack of rags. We moved out from the Nek through Krondaal and camped
+at Sterkstrom. Amongst the latest reports, false and true, we heard in
+the evening that the C.I.V.'s were off--homeward bound.
+
+Tuesday, October 2nd. The previous night we heard that the camp would
+not be shifted, nor was it. But we, of the Yeomanry, were. At 3.30,
+therefore, we had to arise and go out with the guns to co-operate with
+Ridley and Broadwood. After manoeuvring about, we were finally posted on
+what at first appeared a kopje of no importance (in height and
+composition), but kopjes were deceivers ever, and when we had got
+half-way up, those that had sufficient breath and energy left to express
+their opinions on kopjes in general, and this one in particular, did so.
+However, once up aloft, we were left undisturbed for the remainder of
+the day. On return to camp we found our missing sergeant (of September
+16th, at Hekpoort). He had been a prisoner in Rustenburg and had got his
+liberty when Broadwood occupied or rather re-occupied the town. Whenever
+we go out one way the Boers come in the other, and _vice versa_. Though
+we had not played an active part in the day's operations, the others
+had, and the outing was rather a success, Ridley's men capturing
+fourteen waggons with ammunition and other stuff and a few prisoners.
+
+Thursday, October 4th. Once again our fond hopes of a day's loaf were
+crushed, for it was "up in the morning early," and hie for Bethanie.
+This little native town we reached and surrounded, and then destroyed a
+mill. On the way there we came on a recently-deserted waggon (a pot of
+coffee was boiling over a small fire). This and its contents we
+destroyed; and back, which was by a different road, we came upon and
+destroyed four or five waggons by burning them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The effect of Army, or rather Yeomanry life, its fatigues and worries,
+big and small, on men hitherto unaccustomed to such things, has been
+marvellous, and productive of a topsy-turvy dom of character, after Mr.
+W. S. Gilbert's own heart. To commence with, it is curious to note that
+in many cases men who claim to have roughed it in various parts of the
+world have been amongst the worst to stand the roughing here, and while
+weak-looking striplings have developed into fine hardy men; brawny,
+massive-looking fellows have shrunk to thin and useless beings. As
+regards character, after about four to six months out here one seems to
+see his fellows in all the nakedness of truth. I have seen the genial
+man turn irritable, the generous man mean, the good-tempered man
+quarrelsome, the smart and particular man slovenly, the witty man dull,
+the bow-and-arrow ideal (looking) _sabreur_ anything but dashing in
+action, the old-womanly man indifferent to danger, and the objectionable
+man the best of comrades. These and other changes have I noted, and
+often fearfully thought how have I changed, how has it affected me, but
+
+  "There is no grace the giftie to gie me,
+   To see mysel' as ithers see me."
+
+and perhaps it is as well.
+
+
+PETTY ANNOYANCES--THE NIGGER.
+
+[Illustration: "Mails up for the Devons, Dorset & Fifes! None for the
+Sussex!!!" (Please observe the Sussex men on the right.)]
+
+Friday, October 5th. We marched into Commando Nek this morning, and are
+now camped here (when I use the word "camped," I hope you do not think I
+mean tents and such-like luxurious paraphernalia, because I don't). Our
+lines have by no means fallen in a pleasant place, being on dusty ground
+by the side of the road which goes through the Nek, along which for the
+last two hours about half-a dozen miles of convoy has been proceeding
+_en route_ for Rustenburg, and what with the yelling of the black man
+and (a hundred-times-removed) brother--I allude to the blooming
+niggers--the lowing of the oxen, and the dust--well, "it ain't all
+lavender," neither is it conducive to letter-writing or good temper. But
+to own up, the above would not trouble us a bit, if we had only received
+our mails, which we have not. I had been looking forward to a fine batch
+and relying on getting them with a faith which would have removed
+kopjes, and now I am disappointed. The bitterness of the whole thing is
+that some one has blundered, for the Fifes in front have theirs, and the
+Rough Riders behind have theirs, but we, the Composite Squadron, are
+without ours. _Donnerwetter und Potztausand!_ There, I had intended
+writing and telling you how much I am really enjoying myself, of the
+beauties of the veldt, its pretty little flowers, the multi-coloured
+butterflies and insects, the glorious open-air life we are leading and
+a' that; and here I am like a bear with a sore head, grumbling,
+grumbling, grumbling. And now the companion of my shelter and sharer of
+my mealie pap--I call him _Coeur de Lion_ (I don't mind him having the
+heart of a lion, but I object to him having its appetite)--is growling,
+and wanting to know "when the Yeomanry are going home. We came out for a
+crisis, and if the authorities call this a crisis may he be--" etc.,
+etc., as he certainly will. I have tried to pacify him with the
+following offering of the muse--but failed:--
+
+  "Great Bugs of State. Imperial Bugs,
+  The time grows heavy on our hands;
+  Are the recruiting sergeants dead?
+  Does khaki fail, or martial bands?
+  Oh, teach the vagrant how to ride,
+  The orphan boy to meet the foe;
+  May Heaven melt your stony hearts,
+  To let the foolish Yeoman go."
+
+[Illustration: I'kona.]
+
+Being under the impression that I have not made any direct reference to
+the nigger, of whom, of course, one sees a great deal, I will here give
+you my condensed opinion of this being. Left in his true state, he is, I
+believe, unobjectionable, but we have spoilt him. Our fellows have been
+too familiar with him in camp and on the march, and you know what
+familiarity breeds. He has sat or stood idle and watched with
+indifference we white men in khaki doing work he should have been set to
+do (I have borne huge sacks and other burdens, and cursed the officers,
+who have not made use of the niggers standing idly by). He has had the
+satisfaction of knowing that while he is earning three or four shillings
+a day, Thomas Atkins is earning thirteen pence. The general result is
+that he has become deucedly independent and occasionally confoundedly
+cheeky. As a remedy, I would suggest at the conclusion of this war--that
+is, assuming it does conclude--97 per cent. of the niggers employed by
+the British Government be jolly well kicked and then set in bondage for
+half-a-dozen years, more if their case requires it.
+
+Our horses are nearly all done. Mine is very lame in its hind legs. As
+far as horseflesh goes, he is the least objectionable brute I have had,
+though his ignorance and lack of appreciation of kindness is appalling.
+We have drawn horseshoes for five weeks, so it does not look like
+returning to Pretoria just yet. If we had drawn horses it would have
+been more to the purpose. We are having tea now, and have just drawn our
+biscuits for the next 24 hours. They number four thinnish ones, and
+represent three-quarter rations. Even as regards biscuits, one learns a
+good deal out here. I myself know four kinds of biscuits, all as like as
+any of Spratt's gold medal ones in appearance, but varying greatly in
+taste, and consequently, popularity.
+
+
+A WET NIGHT.
+
+                                        COMMANDO NEK,
+                                         _Sunday, October 7th, 1900._
+
+As you can see by the above, we are still here, but expect to move
+to-morrow.
+
+Yesterday was hot and windy, but, beyond one incident, uneventful. Late
+in the day indigo, watery-looking clouds in the west caused some of us
+to erect blanket shelters for the coming night, and when the evening
+having come, a flash of lightning and a distant peal of thunder,
+followed by a few spatters of rain, heralded what was to come, we wise
+virgins (pardon the simile) huddled in our booby hutches (unfortunately
+_without_ lamps) and congratulated ourselves on our astuteness. Soon it
+came, the lightning flashing, the thunder crashing, the rain pouring,
+and lastly the wind blowing a perfect tornado. The various jerry-built
+domiciles stood it well for some time, then the hutch behind us was
+blown down, and we in ours roared with glee; then another went, and
+finally the wind, not being able to get at us by a frontal attack, took
+us on the flank, and up blew one blanket, and the rifles at the ends
+wavered. Then, with cries of "Close the water-tight compartments," "Man
+the pumps," "Launch the lifeboat," "Where's the rocket apparatus?" and
+such-like remarks, as used by those in peril on the sea, we came out and
+joined in the fun. The horses, seeing us all about, thought it must be
+_reveillé_, and started neighing and pawing the ground, expecting their
+grub. We were soon inside again under jury-rigging, and went off to
+sleep to the shouts of "Stable guard, here's a horse loose!" "Stable
+guard, here are three horses walking over us!" and the reply, "All
+right, I'm coming round in the captain's dinghy," or some such
+rejoinder. I could not help smiling when one of our fellows, in response
+to a cry of "Buck up, boys of the bull-dog breed!" remarked, "Hang it,
+they don't even give us kennels." In the small hours of the morning our
+hutch collapsed again, and with the blanket on my side supported mainly
+on my nose, I heedlessly slumbered on. At _reveillé_ the greeting we
+gave one another was "Oh, what a night!" The Roughs were in a
+particularly happy frame of mind, though they had slept in the open, for
+their officers' tent had come down, also their sergeants', and the
+remarks of the former, "Aw, Frisby, have you got that wope?" "Where's
+that beastly peg?" "Heah, give me the hammah," "Isn't it awful?" had
+been most soothing to them. Although I did my best to protect my few
+remaining envelopes, I have just discovered three of them to be well
+gummed down. One thing must be said to the credit of the rain, _it has
+laid the dust_, and that is no small matter.
+
+Monday, October 8th. Having had no mails, we sallied forth with Mr.
+Clements in the direction of Krugersdorp, with four days' rations. My
+last charger being done, _I've got another 'oss_, and he seems rather a
+good one, though not up to my weight. Last night it came to my ears that
+the Border Regiment had got their dry canteen up from Pretoria, and it
+would be open for an hour or so, and that chocolate, jam, cocoa paste,
+tobacco and other coveted commodities would be on sale. So I was soon
+mingling with the crowd of would-be purchasers; several of our fellows
+also joined the crowd, but when it came to their turn to buy were turned
+away because they belonged not to the Border Regiment. I, however, had
+not my hat or tunic on, and as there was nothing about my shirt or
+general appearance to distinguish me from Mr. Thomas Atkins of the
+Border Regiment, I succeeded in buying four packets of chocolate and
+several tins of potted meats and jams; then, handing my purchases over
+to a friend, I again took up my position at the end of the queue and
+bought some more stuff. The prices were what is commonly known as
+popular prices, being extraordinarily low for this benighted land. As
+our four days' rations simply consist of four of the least popular brand
+of biscuits imaginable per diem and horrible stewed trek ox, these
+little purchases are coming in very handy. We camped early in the
+afternoon on the high veldt. The night was bitterly cold.
+
+
+THE GREAT EGG TRICK.
+
+                                        Wednesday, October 10th.
+
+  "When scouting and you must not tarry,
+    Of things you can borrow or beg,
+  The best, but the worst you can carry,
+    Is the excellent, succulent _egg_."
+                    _Extract from contemplated "Loot Lyrics."_
+
+To-day we have returned to Commando Nek, at least within a mile or so of
+it. (A cart has just come in from Rietfontein, and they say there are
+four bags of mails for the Composites, so we poor Sussex de'ils ought to
+have a look in.) We were advance party to-day, and a friend and I had
+the good luck to get a fine lot of eggs, of which I have not had any for
+a long time. As you may imagine, eggs are not very easily carried by the
+uninitiated, especially when he happens to be a horseman. The first time
+I managed to get some I got a couple from a farm down the next valley,
+and was debating how I should carry them, when the officer of our troop,
+who was just ahead, turned round and sternly told me to mount and get
+forward, and as he stopped for me to do so, I was rather awkwardly
+situated, my rifle being in one hand and the two eggs in the other.
+However, I seized the reins somehow or other, and did the great egg
+trick successfully. Missing other feats in which I have never once
+broken or cracked even one, to-day I eclipsed all previous
+accomplishments, inasmuch as I carried in the only two tunic pockets I
+have without holes, THREE DOZEN EGGS loose, and despite having to
+dismount and mount twice, brought them into camp without breaking or
+cracking one. Once or twice, when we had to do a trot, our
+sergeant-major asked why I was riding so curiously, and I told him I was
+feeling rather queer, but thought it would wear off when I reached
+camp--it did. A friend and I got these eggs in rather an amusing manner.
+We spotted a Kaffir village and riding to it, enquired at every kraal
+for eggs, "Eggs for the general--for Lord Roberts!" but, alas, they had
+none, "I'kona," signifying the negative. One enterprising youth,
+however, called to me as I was riding off and brought me four, for which
+I paid him sixpence. Then once again as we were going away, he called to
+us--evidently the pay, pay, pay of the absent-minded foreign devil has
+touched his savage heart--for lo and behold his neighbours had some for
+sale, and came forward with a dozen in a tin, then their neighbours came
+to the front with about a score, and yet another lot appeared with
+more--in all, we got fifty eggs, of which I pocketed three dozen, and
+carried the remainder in a handkerchief and surrendered them to our
+major, saying I had got them for him (he was in want of some), and thus
+appeased him. Had I carried them all in my _mouchoir_ I might have lost
+the lot, but we simple Yeomen "know a thing or three," as the ancient
+ballad goes.
+
+We have just drawn rations for fourteen days and been joined by some
+more M.I., so it looks as if
+
+      "Troops may come and troops may go,
+           But we go on for ever."
+
+"Go hon!" seems to be our call and counter cry.
+
+                            COMMANDO NEK, _Friday, October 12th, 1900_.
+                               _Excerpt from proposed Christmas Panto._
+                 Place--The Transvaal. Period--Victorian.
+
+_Officers' Tent._
+
+First Officer: "I heah the men are gwousing about their gwub."
+
+Second Officer: "Er--I think they get their wations wegularly."
+
+Third Officer: "Oh, dem! They're alwight. Anyhow, what do they want with
+gwub? A little more turkey and peas, and--er pass the whisky, Fwed."
+
+_The Waggon._
+
+Quartermaster-Sergeant (to kindred spirit): "Look 'ere; twelve tins of
+bacon, sixteen of jam, biscuits, and a jar of rum. Lemme see; there's
+twelve of us, and twenty of them. 'Umph, that's eight tins of bacon and
+eleven of jam for us, and four of bacon and five of jam for them. Let
+'em 'ave four biscuits a man; save the best for us--don't forget--"
+
+Kindred Spirit: "And the rum?"
+
+Quartermaster-Sergeant: "Confound it; I nearly forgot that.
+Oh--er--er--take 'em a cupful, and--er--say we're on half rations."
+
+  _Chorus from minor waggonites from round cook-house fire._
+
+  "We don't want to fight,
+    And, by Jingo, if--we--do,
+   We've got the rum, we've got the tea,
+    And we've got the sugar, too."
+
+_The Yeomen's Lines. Men just in from patrol._
+
+Man with bullet hole in hat: "Is tea up?"
+
+Enter orderly corporal with rations: "I say, you fellows, it's 'damall'
+again to day."
+
+Chorus: "!!!???***"
+
+Of course it is evident to you that the above extracts are from a
+burlesque written by a man in the ranks. Alas! there is a perpetual feud
+existent between "the brave, silent men at the back," and ditto those at
+the front, consequently any joke at the expense of the "waggon crowd" is
+always appreciated beyond its value. Sergeant-Major Hunt, who had been
+acting as quartermaster-sergeant for several weeks, did us remarkably
+well; but, alas, he has been invalided into Pretoria, and another has
+reigned in his stead, who has done evil in (or rather out of) our sight;
+being either incompetent or too clever. By the foregoing, you can see
+that I have not got much news to record. We expect some of the
+time-expired Police to join us on Sunday or Monday, and so, I fancy, we
+shall not move till they come up.
+
+
+OUR FRIEND "NOBBY."
+
+[Illustration: 'Nobby'.]
+
+We often get some of the Border men in our lines, and, like all of the
+Regulars, they are most entertaining, though their statements usually
+require a few grains of salt before swallowing. One of these bold Border
+men, known to us as "Nobby," is awfully disgusted at my bad habit of
+letter writing. As a rule I am scribbling when he strolls up, and get
+greeted with the jeering remark, "At it again." Some days back, after
+reflectively expectorating, he delivered himself thus on letter writing:
+"I don't often write. When I do, I sez 'I'm all right; 'ow's yerself?' A
+soldier's got too much to do to write blooming letters." Then he
+retailed terrible stories of Spion Kop, Pieter's Hill, and other
+affairs. Amongst his loot stories I know the following to be a fact; its
+hero has since been court-martialled. One of the men in Clements' Force,
+being _en route_, visited a house, and, producing his emergency rations
+(these are contained in a curious little tin case), threatened to blow
+the house and its occupants to kingdom-come unless they complied with
+his request for eggs, bread, coffee, etc. They complied, but,
+unfortunately for the man in question, a nigger belonging to the place
+followed him into camp, and reported the case. Mr. Thomas Atkins of the
+Line has curious notions about the distances he marches. Of course, he
+is a grand marcher, and has done remarkable distances and times in this
+campaign; still, occasionally he makes one smile, when it is a known
+fact that the Force has just covered ten miles, by emphatically swearing
+that his battalion has done twenty. For cheeriness, the fellows I have
+met would take a lot of beating, and their pride in their own particular
+regiments is a very pleasing trait, though frequently it leads them to
+be rough on other by no means unworthy corps.
+
+From the dry canteen of the Border Regiment I was fortunate enough
+yesterday to procure two dozen boxes of matches, a packet of six
+candles, a quarter-of-a-pound of Navy Cut, notepaper and envelopes. The
+latter I got none too soon, as my last gumless envelope I stuck down
+with jam. Candles are a luxury I have been without for many months, and
+matches have been worth sixpence a box. I bought them at a penny, and
+the candles at 1/6 the packet. We have the Yorkshire Light Infantry with
+us now in place of the Worcesters.
+
+Saturday, October 13th.
+
+  The law which sways our generals' ways,
+     Is mystery to me;
+  Though we of course, both foot and horse
+     Fulfil each strange decree.
+
+This morning we had _reveillé_ at five and moved off up the valley at
+about seven, the Infantry going on the Magaliesberg. This being the
+case, of course our progress was slow, and the distance covered at the
+most six miles. We are going to be joined in a few days' time by
+detachments of our Police, who are coming out from the flesh pots of
+Pretoria. Two Sussex officers are coming with them and we expect about
+fifty men. To-day I had to go into a barn and pry about for arms and
+ammunition on the off chance. I did not find anything in that line, but
+got covered with fleas, a hundred or so--so I have been well occupied
+since I have been in camp. We rode through some grand crops of oats,
+wheat and barley; in one field the wheat was so high as to reach to our
+horses' ears. Where I got my fleas, or rather they got me, there was a
+grand garden with orange trees (no fruit), peaches coming on, figs also,
+and pomegranates in blossom. In a corner of this deserted garden I came
+across a real, old-fashioned English rose, of the kind usually and
+irreverently called "cabbage." The occasion seemed to call for an
+effort, so here it is:
+
+  An old-fashioned English rose
+    In the far-off Transvaal land;
+  Smelt by an English nose,
+    And plucked by an English hand.
+
+This evening we had tents served out to us. Last night we had a deal of
+thunder and lightning, but no rain. It was very close, and most of us
+slept, or tried to sleep, in our shirt-sleeves. About four days before,
+on the high veldt, we had frost on our blankets in the morning.
+
+Monday, October 15th. Yesterday we only marched a few miles, and to-day
+we have done even less. The Infantry marching along the Magaliesberg
+searching the kloofs, farms at the base, and such-like, rendering
+progress, of necessity, slow. Behind us, every day now, we leave burning
+houses and waggons. Colonel Legge, who has taken over Ridley's command,
+is doing the same a little ahead of us on our left front, and Broadwood
+likewise on the other side of the Magaliesberg. Since leaving Commando
+Nek our column has found and destroyed nearly three dozen good waggons
+and numerous deserted farms. It seems rather rough, but leniency has
+proved the stumbling block of the campaign, and now we are doing what
+any other than a British Army would have done months ago. Our camp is
+near a deserted farm. The house is, of course, now gutted out, but
+around it are fields of bearded barley, golden wheat and oats, a lovely
+grove of limes, and rows of ripening figs, peaches and red blossoming
+pomegranates. This morning I had a fine bathe in a pool near by, and was
+washing my one and only shirt, when I heard that honey was being got
+near the lime grove, so jumped into my breeks and boots, and tying my
+wet shirt round my neck, rushed up to have a look in. A lot of silly,
+laughing niggers were the principal _personæ_ in the little comedy.
+There were two or three hives, and after a little smoking I went and
+helped myself; at the next hive I did pretty well, but at the next,
+after I had inserted my hand into it and taken several pieces of comb,
+the bees went for us in style. I had put on my shirt by that time,
+fortunately for me; as it was, I had them buzzing all round my head, and
+got fairly well stung; two got into one of my boots and jobbed their
+tails, which were hot, into my bare ankle, several stung my hands, arms
+and forehead, and one got me exactly on the tip of my nose. However, I
+have felt no inconvenience from any of the stings, in spite of being
+without the blue-bag. Our reinforcements of ex-Police have not turned up
+yet; we are looking forward to seeing them, because they are sure to
+bring our mails. My horse has developed a bad off hock, now. Like the
+poet:
+
+  "I never had a decent horse,
+  Which was a treat to ride,
+  But came the usual thing, of course,
+  It sickened or it died."
+
+Tuesday, October 16th. The animal referred to above went a lovely purler
+with me this morning, turning a somersault and finishing by laying
+across my right leg. It was some time before I could get help, and then
+only a man came and sat on the brute's head to keep him down. I was
+grasping his two hind hoofs, which were within a few inches of my face,
+and preventing them from "pushing it in." At length, the doctor and his
+orderly galloped up, and the latter, dismounting, grasped the horse's
+tail, and pulled him off far enough for me to free my leg. Apart from
+rather a bad back, I am all serene.
+
+Our friend, "Nobby of the Borders," visited us last night. I don't think
+that is his real name, and am not anxious to know. To us he is, and
+always will be, "Nobby." He was tired, having been on the kopjes for the
+best part of the day, but interesting as ever.
+
+  "Art thou weary, art thou langwidge?"
+
+he quoted after a reflective expectoration, which just missed my right
+foot. "That's a hymn, ain't it?" he queried with the air of a man of
+knowledge. We replied in the affirmative, and then, curious to hear his
+religious convictions, asked him about them. "Yes, I believe in
+religion," said Nobby, "I was confirmed and converted or whatever it is,
+some time ago. And I tell you, since I've been out 'ere in this war I've
+felt certain about Gawd. Spion Kop and Pieter's 'Ill made yer think, I
+can tell yer." And then waxing wrath about certain of his comrades, he
+inveighed thus: "And yet there's some ---- ---- fellers in the reg'ment
+'oo will ---- ---- say there ain't a Gawd. But those ---- ---- ----
+beggars are always ---- ---- arguing about every ---- thing." If Mr.
+Burdett-Coutts wants any corroboration in respect to his exposure of the
+inner working of certain military hospitals, let him apply to Private
+"Nobby" of the Borderers. He was an enteric patient at No. 1 Field
+Hospital, Modderspruit, and the tales he tells of his own uncared-for
+sufferings, and the even worse ones of comrades, show, alas, that the
+hospital can, and does often contain, as well as kind, self-sacrificing,
+skilful doctors, doctors and medical orderlies who are brutal, selfish,
+and absolutely callous. He speaks well of the nurses, I am glad to say.
+
+
+"THE ROUGHS" LEAVE US FOR PRETORIA.
+
+                                        NOOITGEDACHT,
+                                          (A little beyond Hekpoort).
+
+Wednesday, October 17th, 1900. Late last night our friends the Roughs
+(72nd I.Y.) received the order to return to Pretoria at once. So they
+left us this morning. And here are we, the Silly Sussex, still sticking
+to it, like flies on treacled paper. As Nobby says, "Grouse all day and
+you're happy. That's the way in the Army." He is quite right, and I am
+sure most of us Yeomen, myself unexcepted, have the true military
+spirit. For we really ought to be very good and contented in this
+charming valley, where, "if it were not for the kopjes and the snipers
+in between," we might lead a perfect Arcadian life. I shall miss our
+Roughs. Some of them are rare good fellows, and always cheery. To see a
+Rough come into camp after a good day's scouting on the farmhouse side
+of the valley, was a sight never to be forgotten. Across his saddle, _à
+la_ open scissors, would be two large pieces of wood, usually fence
+posts; oranges dropping from his nosebag; on one side of his saddle a
+fowl and a duck on the other; a small porker from his haversack; the
+ends of onions or such like vegetables would be protruding, and his
+broad-brimmed hat or bashed-in helmet would be garlanded with peach
+blossoms, resembling a joyous Bacchanalian, and the unshaven, dirty face
+underneath wreathed in smiles. We have destroyed a lot more waggons and
+houses, and lifted several hundred of cattle, besides getting some
+prisoners. How the women must hate us! Their faces are invariably
+concealed by the large sunbonnets which they wear, year in and year out.
+These articles of headgear have huge flapping sides, which their wearers
+apparently always use for wiping their eyes or noses with. This custom
+or fashion saves them a deal of time and trouble in fumbling for the
+usual inaccessible pocket. I daresay you have often read that the veldt
+is burnt by the Boers, to make our khaki visible on the black ground.
+More often than not a veldt fire is caused by accident, not design, a
+carelessly-dropped match doing the trick. As regards showing up our
+khaki, it is bad for dismounted fellows, but for the mounted men
+preferable to the sun-dried grass, for as nearly all our horses are
+bays, roans, chestnuts or blacks, they show up terribly on unburnt stuff
+and are almost invisible on the burnt.
+
+Thursday, October 18th. We are very up-to-date out here, as the
+following will show you:
+
+  'Twas uttered in vast London city
+  By _lion comiques_ without pity,
+  Provincial towns were not belated,
+  But showed they, too, were educated;
+  In many a rustic, quiet retreat,
+  Bucolics, too, would not be beat;
+  At last _It_ crossed the mighty main,
+  Did Britain's latest great inane,
+  And we out here in deep despair,
+  Have been informed that _There is 'air_.
+
+I am pleased to record that the beauty of this epoch-making remark and
+the evident subtle charm underlying it, has not yet dawned upon any of
+the troops with which I have come in contact, and so, apart from being
+aware of its existence, it has molested me in no degree. Even the
+Transvaal has its compensations. Look at the moral and intellectual
+damages one escapes--occasionally. Whiteing managed to get some rather
+good books at an untenanted house a few days ago. Byron's Complete
+Works, two Art Journal Christmas numbers (Burne-Jones and Holman Hunt),
+"Henry Esmond," and others. He gave me Henry George on "Progress and
+Poverty," and two or three works of a devotional nature. The latter I
+gave Nobby last night in the dark. Our conversations in the ranks are
+very diversified. A few days back we were arguing as to which is the
+better--a treacle pudding or a plain suet pudding with treacle. We were
+interrupted in the middle by a few snipers potting at us. This morning
+we stopped in the midst of a most interesting discussion on Aubrey
+Beardsley as a decorative artist and the influence of Burne-Jones and
+Japanese art on his earlier work, to kill fowls and loot eggs. Our bag
+was eight cacklers and six eggs--which have just proved to be, as I
+feared, addled. Lately we have had a really lazy time of it, the poor
+Infantry scouring the hills and we leisurely riding a few miles along
+the plain as advance or rearguard, and then camping by about mid-day.
+
+
+THE BREAKING UP OF THE COMPOSITE SQUADRON.
+
+Friday, October 19th. Yesterday evening the Devons and Dorsets were
+rejoined by their ex-policemen, over a hundred in number. They looked
+very fit, and appeared pleased to get on the column again. The Devons
+have their popular officer, Captain Bolitho, with them again. The Sussex
+did not turn up. However, they and the Somersets are expected to-morrow.
+As regards mails, we were not wholly disappointed. I got one batch of
+letters, bearing the home postmark of September 14th, also some
+newspapers. In one of the latter was a very florid four-column account
+by a famous "War Special," of the doings of Rundle's Starving Eighth. It
+included a picturesque description of one of those common occurrences,
+a veldt fire. "And now the flames roll onward with their
+beautifully-rounded curves sweeping gracefully into the unknown, like
+the rich, ripe lips of a wanton woman in the pride of her shameless
+beauty," and so on, at much length. I read Nobby portions of this
+article, but, alas! the hardy Parnassian mountaineer was too much for
+him. "Wot's it all about?" he queried, "I can't rumble to the bloke." I
+explained to a certain extent, for Nobby had been with the force in
+question. "Well, 'e can sling the bat," observed my Border friend, and
+we discussed and criticised various officers and the Army in general.
+The freshly-joined men brought with them nice new iron picketing pegs,
+which we who had long since lost or broken ours, eyed with covetous
+optics, and determined to possess later, if possible. Their lines were
+laid in a mealie field, and pulled-up pegs might well be expected. At
+midnight a clanking noise near my recumbent form, strongly reminiscent
+of our ancestral ghost, the dark Sir Jasper, dragging his clanking chain
+after him at that hour, as is his wont, aroused me. Of course, it was a
+horse which had pulled up his picketing peg and was searching for fresh
+fields or fodder new. I quickly grasped the situation and the peg, and
+now have no trouble when the pleasant words "'Smount. Pile arms. Off
+saddle. _Picket_ and feed!" greet my ear.
+
+Saturday, October 20th. Yesterday we returned towards Hekpoort, and the
+order for the day was "The Force will halt." Now this is one of the
+finest of life's little ironies which the Imperial Yeomen experience out
+here. "The Force will halt"--every time this cheerful intelligence is
+conveyed to us, we know we are in for something extra in the way of
+"moving on." To-day's "halt" has been a ten-mile halt, we having been
+ordered to proceed down the valley and guard a small bridle path across
+the Magaliesberg Range; Steyn, De Wet, or Delarey, being expected to try
+and get through at this particular point. The last time the Force
+halted, our halt was a 20 or 30 mile one to Bethanie. The time before a
+big patrol; and another halt consisted of a ride out several miles to
+open sundry graves which were suspected of being Mauser-leums, but were
+not.
+
+
+LIFE ON A KOPJE.
+
+                                   BLOK KLOOF,
+                                     (About half-way between Hekpoort
+                                            and Commando Nek).
+                                        _Sunday, October 21st, 1900._
+
+Can it be the Sabbath? Last night I was in charge of one of the pickets
+on top of the already referred to kopje. The ascent of that kopje, oh
+dear! This morning I was sent on to another kopje directly in front of
+the one we had occupied during the night, to find out if an infantry
+picket was holding it. The going was too awful. As usual, the distance
+was greater than it looked, and only having had half-a-messtinful of
+coffee and a biscuit for breakfast on the preceding day, and a mouthful
+of half-boiled trek ox, which had to be gulped down before ascending the
+iniquitous hill in the evening, minus tea and water, I did not half
+appreciate the lovely sunrise and view which were to be seen gratis from
+the various summits. It was a long time before I got back to our little
+encampment (I slipped down on the rocks several times from sheer
+exhaustion), and found to my delight that coffee had been kept for me. I
+wolfed it all, the grounds not excepted, and, bar stiffness and,
+paradoxical to remark, a general feeling of slackness, was soon myself
+again. Our Sussex ex-Police, about fifty in number, are at another nek
+about a mile off, under Messrs. McLean and Wynne. Of course, they have
+not brought our mails; they managed to call for them when the office was
+closed. I was sorry to hear that a friend in the Devons (Trooper
+Middleton), who went into hospital the last time we were at Pretoria,
+has since died of enteric.
+
+Monday, October 22nd. It really seems absurd giving days names out here!
+To-day, we Sussex men, who number about half-a-dozen, are being exempted
+from duty, as we expect to join our fellows who are at the other little
+pass. Once the various companies are re-formed, we shall be under a sort
+of new old _régime_. We are wondering anxiously what our fresh cooks
+will be like. The ones we have at present are not bad fellows; indeed, I
+call them Sid and 'Arry, which means an extra half-pannikin of tea or
+coffee. Yesterday afternoon we had a gorgeous thunderstorm, the
+lightning being incessant. I laid under some trees with a blanket and
+overcoat covering me, smoking, and with one hand slightly protruding,
+holding a _Tit-Bits_ paper, which I read till it became too pulpy. A
+couple of our Sussex fellows have just ridden in; their lot strike camp
+and return as far as Rietfontein this evening, and so this letter goes
+with them.
+
+Tuesday, October 23rd. Still at the same place. Yesterday, at about the
+identical hour as on the preceding day, a big thunderstorm came on us,
+but the comparison was as that of a curtain-raiser to a five-act drama,
+for yesterday's storm lasted well into the night, and drenched most of
+us thoroughly. When a few days ago we were ordered here, we were told to
+take only one blanket, and I, like most other fellows, stupidly obeyed
+and took a thin one, through which the rain comes as through a sieve. We
+were under the impression that our kit waggon would be sent after us,
+but oh dear no, that is eight miles back in Mr. Clements' camp. For
+kopje work Thomas A. gets extra rations and a daily rum allowance; we
+have been drawing less rations, and as for rum, ne'er a sniff o't. My
+overcoat is simply invaluable, and keeps me drier than some of the
+fellows. When you get wet out here, there is no one to come and worry
+you to be sure and change all your clothes, especially your socks. It
+would not do if there were, because, like the London cabbies, we never
+have any change!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Now the sun is shining, and our blankets and various raiment are drying,
+but it's 10 to 1 that about four we shall have a repetition of
+yesterday. Our present home is a veritable insect kingdom. Over, under
+and around us and our meagre belongings, crawl ants small, medium and
+big; bugs and beetles of all sects and denominations; all sorts and
+conditions of flies from the small pest to the tsezee view us with
+interest; as do also caterpillars and other centipedian and millipedian
+crawlers; wood lice and the domestic shirt ones, which, like the poor,
+we have always with us; spiders of all sizes, including tarantulas; and,
+in addition, lizards and rats, while on the kopje, baboons walk about
+chattering all sorts of unintelligible witticisms about us.
+
+Wednesday, October 24th. As predicted, we got our thunderstorm all right
+yesterday evening. For about half-an-hour the lightning never seemed to
+cease flickering about and jagging through the clouds, but the rain was
+not so bad. This morning the Fifes are sending into Rietfontein for
+mails. I hope we shall get some. I am handing this in for the post. As
+we only came here for twenty-four hours, we are not well off for
+literature or writing paper, though I brought some of the latter in my
+haversack: hence these lines. We shall soon have been here a week. The
+last time we went out for three days we remained out six weeks. I am a
+wonderful scavenger now. You should see me pitch like a hawk upon a
+dirty and torn ancient paper or book. As a result of a morning's work in
+that line, I am luxuriously reclining on my overcoat and reading a
+_Spectator_, after which I shall regale myself on the lighter and less
+solid contents of _Tit-Bits;_ later, I shall go round and swap them for
+other papers or magazines. A lot of us are dreadfully afraid of doing
+strange things when we get back to civilised life, such as asking for
+the "---- ---- salt" at dinner, diving our hands or knives into the
+dishes _immediately_ on their appearance and securing the best pieces
+after the manner of the Israelite priests with the hooks in the
+flesh-pots, commandeering fruit, fowls, eggs, or vegetables from our
+neighbours' gardens, wiping our knives and hands on our breeches or
+putties after a course, or a hundred other habits which have become so
+natural to us now. My greatest fear is that in a moment of
+absent-mindedness I shall, if tired, throw myself down on some cab rank
+where the horses are standing still and with my head pillowed on my arm
+and a foot twisted in a rein take a forty winks, so accustomed have I
+become to the close proximity of 'osses, waking and sleeping.
+
+Thursday, October 25th. This time two months hence it will be Christmas,
+and it looks as if, after all, I shall be spending it out here "far from
+home," cheerfully grumbling like a true British soldier, while the
+waggon crowd and sergeants' mess are enjoying most of _our share_ of the
+Christmas tucker and other luxuries which are sure to be sent out. And
+you away in dear old Merrie England in be-hollyed and be-mistletoe'd
+homes enjoying your turkeys, puddings, and all that goes to make
+Christmas the festive season of goodwill, when families and friends
+re-unite for a short while, and eat, drink, and gossip generally, will,
+I am sure, amidst the festival, pause now and again to think of the
+wanderers on the veldt, and more than likely toast them in champagne,
+port, sherry, elder, or orange wine. That is if we are not home. If we
+are, we shall show ourselves thoroughly capable of doing the above
+ourselves; and as for gossip, heaven help ye, gentles! I suppose the
+Christmas numbers are out already, with the usual richly-coloured
+supplements of the cheerful order, such as a blood-stained khaki wreck
+saying good-bye to his pard, or the troop Christmas pudding (I s'pose I
+ought to say duff) dropped on the ground. But a truce to all such
+thoughts, perhaps we shall get home after all, and again p'r'aps not.
+
+Eleven thirty a.m. Have just had an awful shock to my nervous system. A
+sergeant has been up and served us out with the first Yeomanry comforts
+we have ever seen, much less had. Each of us has received a 1/4-lb. tin
+of Sextant Navy Cut tobacco. For the present, I cannot write more, I am
+too overcome.
+
+(_Resumed._)
+
+I feel more composed now. We have just been told that two cases of
+"comforts" were sent out to us, but have been rifled of their best
+contents; so farewell to condensed milk, sardines, jam, etc.
+
+Last night I was on the kopje again. Paget or somebody else being
+reported as driving the Boers towards this range of hills (Magaliesberg)
+we were told to be specially vigilant. The night was as dark as Erebus,
+and my turn to post the relief came on at eleven, the post being about
+forty yards away from where we were sleeping, and the intervening ground
+a perfect rockery, the task of getting there was no particular fun. As I
+relieved the post every hour-and-a-half, I had four or five stumbling,
+ankle-twisting, shin-barking journeys. At about two we had the usual
+storm, and the accompanying lightning was most useful in illuminating me
+on my weary way. The descent of the kopje this morning was, I think,
+more fagging than the previous evening's ascent, though quicker as you
+can imagine. Then came the cause of my wrath. The Fifes, who went after
+mails, had returned, and there were none for us--of course. However,
+
+     "Hope springs eternal in the Yeoman's breast."
+
+Some more fellows have gone into Rietfontein to-day, and there is just
+the chance.
+
+An hour ago I had a most necessary shave and wash. All the pieces of
+looking-glass in the possession of the squadron having long since been
+lost or reduced to the smallest of atoms, this operation has to be
+performed without a mirror, though now and again Narcissus-like, I catch
+a glimpse of my features in the soapy, dirty water.
+
+Friday, October 26th. It rained all last night, and has hardly left off
+yet. I have not a dry rag to my name. Even my martial cloak is sopping,
+though the lining is what, considering all things, I might call dry. So
+sitting on my upturned saddle beneath a weeping (not willow) tree, on
+the branches of which my wet blanket is spread above my head, I am going
+to amuse myself by writing letters. We have a few tents here, but as it
+is fifteen to a tent, and asphyxiation is not a death we devoted band of
+five Sussex men have an inclination for, we are continuing our out-door
+life. Consequently, we are now sitting on our saturated haunches
+awaiting sunshine above, smoking our pipes, and wondering when the war
+will come to a genuine end. What a number of officers have gone home
+sick--of it! Our friends the Fifes are awfully good fellows, and the
+best managed Yeomanry Squadron I have seen out here. Yesterday evening
+we were guests at a little sing-song round their fire, and partakers of
+their hospitality in the way of hot cocoa. Alas, the rain speedily
+brought what promised to be an enjoyable evening to an end, and it was
+every man to his own tent, booby hutch, or cloak and blanket. I was
+actually the recipient of two letters and a parcel yesterday evening,
+thanks undoubtedly to a mistake somewhere or other. The making of a
+correct declaration of the contents of a parcel and their approximate
+value, as required by the postal authorities, and the sticking of the
+same on the parcel which is to gladden the heart of the man in khaki far
+away, is, I fear, a dangerous thing to do. Take, for example, a package,
+the contents of which are veraciously announced on the affixed slip as
+"Tobacco, cigarettes, chocolate, pipe, and shirt; value £1 10s."--your
+friend's chances of getting it are about 50 to 1 against; but the same
+parcel with the brief announcement "Shirt and socks; value 5s." would
+probably reach him some day. A Fife friend tells me he now and again
+gets a large medicine bottle of--well, what would it be for a Scotchman?
+well-corked and marked "Developing Solution."
+
+Saturday, October 27th. Still at the above address. Nothing of note to
+record. Flies an awful nuisance on us and everything. Fellows would not
+believe that the jam ration has been so reduced in bulk by flies. Some
+people won't believe anything--fortunately I had my share first, and
+perhaps I did take a _leetle_ too much. No news of possibility of
+getting home by Christmas or the New Year. I feel vicious, and somebody
+must suffer, so here goes.
+
+N.B.--I hold the late Alfred Lord Tennyson partly responsible.
+
+   THE YEOMAN.
+
+     (Dedicated to the Fife, Dorset, Devon, Somerset, and Sussex
+     Imperial Yeomanry Squadrons.)
+
+     "The War has grown flat, stale, and unprofitable as a topic for
+     conversation."--_Extract from Editorial Notes in "Black and
+     White," September 20th._
+
+  We came from many a town and shire,
+    From road, and street, and alley,
+  And, filled with patriotic fire,
+    Around the flag did rally.
+
+  For many thousand miles we sailed,
+    Till reached was Afric's strand;
+  At Cape Town for some weeks we stayed,
+    Not yet on foeman's land.
+
+  At last we got the word to move,
+    To join the fighting army;
+  And so we left our peaceful groove,
+    With fighting lust half balmy.
+
+  Away we marched o'er dusty ways,
+    Through spruit and blooming donga,
+  For chilly nights and burning days,
+    With feelings ever stronger.
+
+  We passed Milishy on the road,
+    And heard their imprecations
+  Because they bore the Empire's load
+    Upon communications.
+
+  At last we joined Lord Roberts' force,
+    And later we did sever,
+  And got attached to bold Mahon's Horse,
+    For we go on for ever.
+
+  With Hamilton and Mahon we went
+    Due east to wet Balmoral;
+  Where oh! an awful night we spent.
+    What ho! the victor's laurel!
+
+  Then west we rode to catch De Wet--
+    We thought 'twas now or never;
+  But he, in his particular way,
+    And we, go on for ever.
+
+  To Rustenburg we went with Mahon
+    The wily Boers to scatter;
+  Burnt many a farm and useful barn,
+    And got--our clothes a-tatter.
+
+  Then later, we did join Clements,
+    From him to part, oh, never!
+  For wars may cease, and wars commence,
+    But we go on for ever.
+
+  We grumble, grumble, as we roam
+    Beside the hills or river,
+  For troops we hear are going home,
+    But we go on for ever.
+
+  We steal (we call it loot out here)
+    The foeman's fowls and tucker,
+  And now and then we come off well,
+    And now and then a mucker.
+
+  We've marched by night to catch the foe,
+    Yet spite each bold endeavour,
+  Crises may come and crises go,
+    But _this_ goes on for ever.
+
+  At home, first China, then elections,
+    Have claimed their keen attention;
+  Now football, crimes, and other things--
+    The War they seldom mention.
+
+  Soon our nearest and our dearest
+    Won't think our generals clever,
+  If we and this confounded War
+    Keep going on for ever.
+
+Sunday, October 28th. Last night we ascended Avernus again, and did the
+usual guard on the summit. Of course, we had some rain and its
+concomitants. Apart from that, and the circumstance of the
+sergeant-major of the Dorsets, who is 6-ft. 3-ins., and scales 15 stone,
+treading on my head in the dark in mistake for a rock, nothing of note
+occurred. As regards the incident alluded to, it lends significance to
+my being occasionally referred to as "Peter," thanks to my suggestive
+initials, P.T.R. Hence it seems natural for me to be mistaken for a
+rock. Still, I trust these mistakes will not often happen.
+
+On Monday (October 29th), Captain McLean, of rowing fame, and Lieutenant
+Wynne marched up to Blok Kloof with the ex-Policemen of the Sussex
+Squadron, and we, having first been paraded before Sir Elliot--who in a
+few kind words severed his connection with us, to our regret, as
+captain--rejoined our former comrades. The other squadron of the 7th
+Battalion of West Somerset Yeomanry, under Captain Harris, was left for
+duty at Rietfontein.
+
+Colonel Browne (we were all pleased to hear of his promotion this month)
+having received orders to withdraw from the Kloof and rejoin Clements at
+Hekpoort, gave the order for us to be ready to march off at dusk. Soon
+after sunset, rain, which had been threatening all day, commenced to
+fall, and we had a rather uncomfortable night march to Hekpoort. We
+reached there at midnight, turned-in on the wet veldt for a few hours
+and were up again at four. That day we were rearguard and going in a
+south-westerly direction marched through Hartley's Nek (in the
+Witwatersberg) and encamped the other side.
+
+
+DEATH AND BURIAL OF CAPTAIN HODGE.
+
+On October the 31st we were right flank to Cyperfontein, and came in for
+the inevitable sniping. Mushrooms, which were very abundant on the veldt
+we were traversing, were collected by many of us, and on our arrival in
+camp cooked in a stew or fried in Maconochie bacon fat. We also came
+upon two Boer waggons under some trees, from which we obtained a huge
+loaf of mealie bread and some useful enamelled tin ware--likewise a
+basin of excellent custard. Several women thereupon came up from a house
+not far off and protested against our pillaging the waggons, as they
+only contained their property. "And their men?" we queried. They had
+none, knew nothing about any. A cock crowed in the neighbourhood, was
+located and promptly commandeered, and at the same moment, Boleno (not
+his real name) triumphantly emerged from one of the waggons with a fine
+pair of spurs and a quantity of tobacco; the simple Boer women had to
+accept us as unbelievers.
+
+Further afield and unknown to us, the Fifes were having a warm time. It
+was only when we got into camp that we heard from our old friend,
+Sergeant Pullar, that their gallant and popular Captain (Chapell-Hodge
+of the 12th Lancers) had been severely wounded in retiring his men from
+a kopje to which they had advanced in scouting. He died the following
+night at Vlakfontein,[6] and was buried the next (Friday) morning.
+
+         [Footnote 6: It was this Vlakfontein which was destined to
+         become notorious in the later history of the war. On the 29th
+         of last May (1901), the 7th Battalion I.Y. lost heavily in a
+         desperate fight at this place. Of the many gallant officers
+         and men killed, all the members of the Battalion, past and
+         present, must specially deplore the death of Surgeon-Captain
+         Welford, one of the kindest and most self-sacrificing of men.
+         Also Captain Armstrong, who joined the Battalion from
+         Strathcona's Horse, as lieutenant, in November last.
+         Lieutenant Pullar, writing to me in reference to the above,
+         recently remarked: "It is the same Vlakfontein where the poor
+         7th Battalion lost so heavily in May, and I fear there must
+         be many other graves there now."]
+
+As my horse had gone a bit lame, I was riding with the convoy that day,
+and so was able to wait and attend the funeral. I doubt the Fifes will
+ever forget that day.
+
+With _reveillé_ rain began to pour in torrents. The advance and flanking
+parties moved out of camp, the Fifes had been told off for rearguard, on
+account of the funeral. Presently the convoy began to get under way with
+a lowing of oxen and cracking of whips, mingled with the bleating of
+captured flocks of sheep and goats. Standing under a tree beside my
+horse I waited; through the blinding rain I could see the ox teams by
+our Yeomanry lines swinging round in response to the niggers' shouts and
+whips, and with a gurring and creaking the waggons one by one took their
+place in the lengthy procession, disappearing in the dense atmosphere.
+One tent had been left standing, right and left of its entrance were
+drawn up the firing party and the rest of the squadron; leaving my horse
+I fell in with them. The sergeants presently emerged bearing on a
+stretcher, sewn up in the ordinary brown military blanket, the mortal
+remains of their captain. Then through the never-ceasing rain, splashing
+through pools of muddy water sometimes ankle deep, we slowly made our
+way to the back of a farm some fifty yards away, where at the feet of
+some huge blue gum trees, a grave had been dug. Several of the firing
+party who had no cloaks had their waterproof sheets over their
+shoulders, I noticed one man with a corn sack. Colonel Browne read the
+Service, the rain splashing on his little Prayer Book. The body was
+reverently lowered by means of a couple of ammunition belts from a
+machine gun, and the three rounds cracked strangely in the rain-laden
+air, the water dripping from the rifles. After the firing, one of the
+party, a dour-looking Scot, void of all sentiment I should have thought
+(God forgive me!) stooped, and picking some objects out of the mud,
+thrust them into a handy pocket. They were his three empty cartridge
+cases. Then the Fifes sorrowfully marched away, leaving their beloved
+captain behind them. Happy Fifes to have possessed so good an officer!
+Unhappy Fifes to have lost him!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Returning to where my poor saturated horse was miserably standing, I
+mounted and slowly rode along with the convoy. After going some miles, I
+was pleased to see the waggons turning off the slippery track on to the
+veldt and outspanning. Seeing close by the road, lying on the site of a
+former camp, sheets of corrugated iron from the roofs and other parts of
+a few wrecked and deserted houses in the neighbourhood, I dismounted and
+secured two large bent ones (these placed on the ground like an inverted
+V form excellent shelters for tentless men), and proceeded to carry them
+and drag my steed towards the camp. It was a long way and an awful fag.
+At length through the pelting rain, there bore down upon the Sussex
+Yeomanry lines two large bent sheets of galvanised iron, cursing
+horribly and followed by a dripping horse. Suddenly the sheets fell
+clattering to the wet ground and his comrades beheld the writer of these
+immortal letters. Whiteing, Boleno, and the rest of our special clique
+or mess, who had arrived before me had already commenced constructing
+Mealie Villas (being the name given to our family residence wherever we
+are). The ground was, of course, saturated by the rain, which continued
+unceasing all day. Huddled together in the cribbed, cabined and confined
+space of our "home, sweet home," half-naked, but fairly cheerful, we
+passed the time in everlastingly patching up the leaks and defects in
+the construction of the Villas. The next morning we had _reveillé_ at
+six, and turned out promptly to feed the wretched horses; the poor,
+woe-begone looking creatures, hardly one of which was properly picketed,
+were standing expectantly amid a perfect cobweb of muddy, tangled
+picketing ropes in the quagmire, which represented their lines. One of
+the fellows, who had passed the night under our ox waggon, on lifting
+his rain-sodden blanket, found to his surprise and disgust a fine
+iguana, about four feet long, nestling against his body. The sun began
+to smile upon us, and we advanced to a better camping ground a few miles
+further on at Leeuwfontein. Here we outspanned and soon had our wet
+blankets, clothes, and other articles spread out on the veldt drying.
+The Force remained halted on Sunday, though we Yeomanry were sent out on
+a foraging patrol and returned with ducks and oranges galore. Late in
+the day, "Nobby," sallow, and with a week's beard on him, paid us a
+visit. He told us he had been bad and was dying, but bucked up at the
+sight of our rifles, which he pronounced as being in a disgustingly
+dirty state. "I'd like to be yer sergeant-major. I'd make yer sit up,"
+quoth he indignantly, and then proceeded to give us the history of his
+own gun, and the godliness of its cleanliness. He also related to us
+portions of the history of the Border Regiment. "We're the Unknown
+Regiment," remarked Nobby, half bitterly, "but they ought ter know us
+now, we was with ole 'Art's Irish Brigade in Natal," and then came
+anecdotes of Pieter's Hill, and other places. Of course, he told us of
+their great marching feats, and wound up thus: "The other day Clements
+said to our ole man, 'Give the Borders a new pair of boots an' a ration
+of rum, an' they'll march to h----." Then after a pause, "Of course,
+that's a bit o' bunkum to keep us goin';" but his manner showed he was
+proud to repeat it nevertheless. On the 5th, we advanced to Doornkom,
+getting a fine herd of cattle from a kloof on our way, and having sundry
+necessary bonfires, principally of oat hay.
+
+[Illustration: CONSOLATION.
+
+SUSSEX YEOMAN: "_It don't look like clearing off._"
+
+FIFE YEOMAN (_with chattering teeth_): "_I dinna care. It's juist the
+same or waur for them_ (the Boers). _I hope they'll a' dee o'
+pneumonia._"]
+
+On Sunday (November 11th) we had some lively scrapping at the
+commencement of our march, which was towards Krugersdorp. During the
+day some of our Sussex fellows came upon an untenanted shanty,
+containing scores of packets of magnificent candles. They brought away
+all they possibly could, and were very generous to the rest of us with
+them. That evening Mealie Villas was brilliantly illuminated, and later
+I had the pleasure of presenting Dr. Welford and Captain Cory with a
+packet of these unobtainable articles. Another man who had been on a
+ration fatigue at the A.S.C. waggons in the afternoon managed to take
+away a box of four dozen tins of apricot jam, _not_ down on our
+requisition. To "do" the A.S.C. is a virtuous deed. So we have dined
+well lately, though at the present time of writing I am rather tired of
+apricot preserve.
+
+[Illustration: On Pass.
+
+This depicts three of ours just going into the town--and the beauty &
+sadness of the whole thing is--they are got up to kill.]
+
+This day, Monday (November 12th), the column marched into Krugersdorp.
+We were rearguard and just as we left the site of the camp, which had
+been in a most picturesque spot, got bullets whistling by us and
+knocking up the dust round our horses. Two of our men out of four, who
+had relieved an infantry picket at _reveillé_ are missing. The snipers
+followed us about half the distance to the dorp and we had quite a warm
+little rearguard action. I am just off to post this in the town.
+
+
+CAMP LIFE AT KRUGERSDORP.
+
+                                        KRUGERSDORP,
+                                          _Saturday, Nov. 17th, 1900._
+
+We are still camped within about three miles of this town, and expect to
+remain here till Hart's Column returns. It went out yesterday after
+having had a five weeks' rest. Amongst the mounted men were the Wilts,
+Bucks, Yorks, and Suffolk Squadrons of Yeomanry. I think I told you in
+my last we arrived here on Monday after a lively time as rearguard, the
+Boers opening fire on us as soon as we had started to leave the place we
+had camped at. That is the worst of pitching upon picturesque spots for
+camps. We lost two men, who, however, eventually turned up safe and
+sound, although some of their captors had shown a strong inclination to
+shoot them, but, thanks to Delarey's brother, the bloody-minded minority
+were disappointed. The snipers hung persistently on to our tail,
+occupying each ridge and kopje as we retired from them. As soon as I had
+picketed and fed my horse, I obtained leave and went into Krugersdorp,
+passing on the way mines all the worse for want of wear, and the "Dubs"
+and others under canvas. In the town I dined at what I should imagine
+was a Bier Halle in the piping days of peace, but which in the sniping
+days of war is an underground eating room run by Germans, who charge a
+great deal for a very little, and find it far more profitable than
+gold-mining.
+
+I procured some tins of condensed milk, golden syrup, and jam for our
+larder, and volumes by Ruskin, Meredith, Thackeray, and Kipling, for my
+own somewhat small library. With these I proudly staggered back to camp,
+aware of the royal and well-merited reception which awaited me, and
+which I got. Whiteing was quite overcome at the sight of Ruskin and
+Thackeray, while another friend implored permission to have a dip in
+"The Seven Seas" (which seems a big request, I doubt not, to the
+uninitiated).
+
+I forgot to mention that on my return to camp I found mails awaiting me.
+Thus passed a pleasant day. Tuesday I spent in camp, writing replies to
+my kind correspondents, reading and re-reading my letters and papers. We
+hear the C.I.V.'s are home, good luck to 'em, and though I have not read
+the papers I can imagine to a slight extent the enthusiastic welcome
+they were accorded. The knowledge that we have done our duty will be
+enough for us; never mind the brazen bands, the free drinks, the
+dyspeptical dinners, the cheers and jingo songs. Suffice it for us if
+you will let us quietly alight from the train and get us home, to our
+ain firesides. I fear I am rather bitter to-day; but, Christmas is
+coming, and the date of our return no man knoweth! On Thursday we all
+had to turn out to be inspected by "Bobs." If the turn out was to give
+him an idea of our strength as a fighting force the whole thing was
+"tommy-rot" for we paraded as strong as possible in numbers. The halt,
+sick and the blind, so to speak, were in the ranks, every available
+horse being used to mount them. Thus we turned out, our officers
+anxiously making the centre guides prove, and issuing special orders to
+us not to crowd when marching past in column of squadrons and all that
+sort of thing. Then we marched to the parade ground, cow gun, field
+guns, pom-poms, Infantry, Yeomanry, and Colonial mounted troops. After a
+short wait a group of mounted beings appeared in the distance and
+approached the force. We carried arms, and the infantry presented them.
+The great little man and his staff passed along the front of the force,
+and then cantered away, and the show was over, after having in all
+occupied about five minutes. In the way of guards and pickets we are not
+over-worked, the regiment having to supply a picket of one officer and
+twenty men every night, which means each squadron comes on every fourth
+night. The job is, also, what Tommy would call a distinctly "cushey"
+one.
+
+On Friday I went into the town and succeeded in securing a fine stock of
+things for our larder, including a slab of Genoa cake, which I purchased
+at the Field Force canteen, which has just been opened. In the evening
+we entertained Sergeant Pullar, of the Fifes, at tea. This, though I
+should be modest over it, was really a grand, indeed sumptuous repast.
+Many a time has this gentleman given us biscuits on the veldt in our
+hours of need, papers also to read, and so we meant to do the thing
+well, and we did. In the morning a special invitation was sent from the
+corporals of the Sussex Squadron residing at Nos. 1, 2 and 3, Mealie
+Villas, requesting the pleasure of Sergeant Pullar's company to
+afternoon tea, parade order optional. We formed a table of biscuit
+boxes, which we covered with two recently-washed towels, and then I
+managed to obtain a fine effect in the way of table decoration by taking
+the spotted red handkerchief from my neck and laying it starwise as a
+centre-piece. Then, having begged, borrowed and otherwise obtained all
+the available tin plates, we covered the table with sardines, tinned
+tongues, pickles, condensed milk, jams, butter, and cake. Sergeant
+Pullar having arrived with his plate, knife, fork and spoon in a
+haversack, we sat down on S.A.A. Cordite Mark IV. boxes, to a rattling
+good feed, which guest and hosts did full justice to. Then it rained,
+and we had to rig up our blanket hutches in record time, while our guest
+sped to his tent. Thus ended an auspicious evening. The next morning we
+had the deluge, for it poured in torrents, our wretched blanket shelters
+proving far from rain-tight. But the real trouble was when we found we
+were being swamped, the water flowing in and sopping us and our
+belongings, the latter being by far the most important. Upon this I
+turned out and found the whole camp was a swamp, and all the shovels
+being used for digging trenches. Not to be done, I collared a meat
+chopper from the Dorset cook-house, and started constructing trenches
+for all I was worth, specially draining my part of the villa where the
+library was in great danger. The rain ceasing after a while, the other
+fellows emerged like so many slugs, and soon under my supervision (was I
+not articled to an architect once?) an elaborate system of drainage,
+consisting of trenches and dams, was constructed around the villas. We
+had a bit of a row with our neighbours, who complained that we had
+drained all our water on to them. A lot of unnecessary damming was
+indulged in. However, from our point of view the thing was a great
+success. Later the sun came out, and we dried all our possessions. Great
+institution the sun! The next day being the Sabbath, of course, we had
+to have a scrap, or at least try to have one. So we had a _reveillé_ at
+2 a.m., in order to surround a house where about forty Boers had been
+reported by some wretched being. On turning out, several of us found our
+horses had disappeared during the night, mine being among the number. So
+as not to be out of the fun, I took the first wandering brute I found,
+and fell in. All this took place in the dark, and later, when it became
+lighter, it was most amusing to see what some of us had secured. Mine
+proved to be an officer's charger, but no goer. When I got back to the
+lines, I found an infuriated officer's servant marking time in front of
+me till we were dismissed, when he approached and wrathfully spoke to
+me, stating that the horse had a sore back and was lame in three legs.
+As he gave me no chance to offer an apology or explanation, we slanged
+and abused one another for about ten minutes, to the delight of the
+squadron, and then parted so as not to miss other similar rows. The
+result of the morning's work was, I hear, two Boers captured. For this
+we all laid on the wet ground behind anthills and other cover for about
+two hours, waiting for them to come our way; while Legge's crowd
+pom-pommed and field-gunned them for about an hour. The Boers also used
+a good deal of ammunition, doing us no damage, but getting away through
+the usual missing link in the chain. This afternoon (Monday, 19th) we
+received mails, my share being three letters, and some papers.
+
+[Illustration: A Peep at our Domestic Life.
+
+Tomkyns de Vere B.A. 'bucking up' the fire, Boleno Soles triumphantly
+approaching with more fuel, the district being a woodless one. White
+with a soul above cooking, his not eating, reading Marcus Aurelius in
+No. 1 Mealie Villas.]
+
+Tuesday, Nov. 20th. I have just heard that we are off for a ten weeks'
+trek to-morrow, so I must bring this to a conclusion, and get into town
+to post it, and also to procure some more stores. It may or may not
+interest you to know that of all the jams we have had out here (and we
+have been served out with at least a score of different brands) the very
+best, made from the most genuine fruit, were the conserves of two
+Australian firms. These two firms are head and shoulders above all other
+makers bar none. "Advance, Australia" is right.
+
+Well, here we are, and here we are going to remain, for how long the
+Fates only know. Sometimes in my most optimistic moments I cheerfully
+look forward to spending the golden autumn of my life in the land of my
+birth. As I write this evening by candlelight, in our rude substitute
+for a tent, I can hear the chorus of "The miner's (why not a yeoman's?)
+dream of home," which comes wafted to us from the Fife lines. As you
+will, I hope, receive this by Christmas, I take the opportunity to wish
+you and all kind friends a right merrie Christmas and a prosperous new
+year. For us no holly will prick nor mistletoe hang. If Santa Claus
+comes it will probably be with a Mauser, and for some, alas! obituary
+cards will take the place of the coloured productions of Bavarian firms.
+But come weal, come woe, where'er we be on that day, I can guarantee you
+our sentiments will be easily summed up by the following:
+
+  "Our heart's where they rocked our cradle,
+    Our love where we spent our toil;
+  And our faith and our hope and our honour,
+    We pledge to our native soil!"
+
+
+LADY SNIPERS AT WORK.
+
+                                   KRUGERSDORP (again),
+                                     _Wednesday, November 28th, 1900._
+
+We returned here on Monday, after having been out for about a week's
+cruise on the troubled veldt, and, in spite of the rumour that we were
+to be treking again this morning, we are still here. I will endeavour to
+give you the usual veracious account of our doings. I say "veracious"
+advisedly, as oftentimes, after having seen something extra strong in
+the Ananias-Sapphira-Munchausen-Gulliver-de-Rougemont epistolary line
+from some gentleman in khaki to the old folks at home, in a London or
+provincial paper, I feel that I must give up letter writing altogether,
+as by now those at home must have discovered that such effusions are
+often seven-eighths lies, and the remaining one-eighth truth, simply
+because the scribe's powers of invention have failed him, owing to the
+great strain. Only yesterday I saw in a certain local paper such an
+epistle from one of our fellows, who, owing to various circumstances,
+only joined us in September last, and has now joined the estimable
+waggon crowd. From it I gathered that we had fought incessantly for
+several days, on one occasion being without food or water for
+thirty-nine hours, etc., and afterwards for our magnificent behaviour
+had been called up to the general's tent, warmly congratulated by him,
+and _presented with a pot of jam each_. So my diffidence about writing
+will be easily understood, I am sure. And now for the celestial truth.
+
+On Wednesday last (November 21st) we had an unexpected _reveillé_ at
+1.30 a.m., and set out with four days' supplies for Somewherefontein
+(where, we did not know). A "revally" at such an hour is, as you may
+imagine, by no means devoid of interest; I don't know whether you have
+ever experienced one; if you have you know all about it; if not you have
+a great experience lacking. There was I, collecting and packing our
+larder in an oat sack, my miniature Bodleian and other various
+possessions in another, dismantling our blanket shelter, and a hundred
+other things, including feeding and saddling up my Rosinante, and
+then--"Stan' to your 'osses!" We paraded smartly, and after a short
+wait, moved off as right flank. A few hours after dawn there was
+fighting in front of the column, but not our way, Legge's crowd working
+on a parallel road and some way ahead of us. At about mid-day we reached
+a wonderfully fertile village (Sterkfontein), and, imagining it to be
+unoccupied, our Provost-Marshal and his satellites rode forward to
+select a site for our camp, and got well sniped from some of the houses.
+Thereupon Number Eight came up, and at comparatively speaking short
+range, opened fire and 15-poundered them. To us, who were watching the
+show, the sight was a most interesting one. Crash through a house would
+go one shell, another would account for something else, and flames and
+smoke soon announced burning thatches and oat-hay stacks. The Mausers
+soon ceased from troubling, and eventually we entered the fontein. To
+our surprise no snipers were captured, and it was asserted that the
+firing had been done by the ladies, who, with children, were the only
+persons found there. However, as no firearms or signs of their having
+done so, were found, the matter, like most things where the wily Boer is
+concerned, remains a mystery. It is a fact that lady snipers do exist.
+For some time the Borders had in their guard-room, during our last trip,
+amongst the various prisoners, a lady sniper they had bagged while doing
+the Magaliesberg. There was not much of the Jeanne d'Arc about her. I
+saw her once or twice. She was a regular barge, and of great beam; her
+face was concealed by the usual kindly sun-bonnet.
+
+     (_Note._--Our Regimental Sergeant-Major has just gone by, with
+     white canvas shoes and slacks on. This is most reassuring as
+     regards not moving off to-day).
+
+Well, we camped near the village, which lay in a sort of saucer, being
+surrounded by kopjes. On one of these our cow gun, yclept "Wearie
+Willie," was hauled; it took fifty-six oxen to get him up there. The
+Boers, whom we had surprised, were very sick at our unexpected visit,
+and, had they only known, would undoubtedly have attempted to hold the
+place a bit. As it was, they hung about far off. It rained a perfect
+deluge that night, and my blanket roof collapsing I went to sleep with
+it over me as it fell, lullabyed by the soft cursings of my neighbours
+of 1 and 2 Mealie Villas, who were in like plight. The next morning we
+were to have had _reveillé_ at 5.30 and proceed to Rietfontein 12. (They
+have to number these places out here. You probably have noticed the
+innumerable Blandsfonteins, Hartebeestefonteins, Rietfonteins,
+Bethanies, etc., in the Transvaal and Orange River Colony.) But Brother
+Boer willed it otherwise, and about an hour before the fixed time I was
+"revallyed" by the banging of guns distant and near. I arose to my feet
+and the fact that Mr. Delarey was trying to shell us, as a not far
+distant crack of an exploding shell testified. Near me, from under a
+rain-soaked blanket a sun-bronzed face appeared and a sleepy voice
+inquired "are the _burchers_ (burghers) shelling us?" The seeker after
+knowledge was informed they were. We soon got the order to turn out,
+saddle up and escort the guns. This we quickly did. As we moved out a
+few shells skimmed over the kopjes and lobbed themselves where our lines
+had been. By this time our field guns and cow gun were well at it, and
+the Boers were shifting a bit. We dismounted, lined the kopje we had
+ridden up to, and watched the work of our gunners. Presently from half
+up the hill in front of us, I saw a flickering white flash and
+pom-pom-pom-pom-pom-pom went Delarey's gun of that name, followed by a
+whistling over our heads and half-a-dozen cracks behind, where, looking
+round, I saw the same number of puffs of smoke and earth arise from the
+ground. This went on for a while, they were trying to get on our led
+horses, I believe. I afterwards heard some went fairly close, also that
+the general had one very near. _Apropos_ of this pom-poming, our
+colonel, who had had their missiles all round him and had quite ignored
+them, as is his invariable custom, strolled up to one of our officers
+and the conversation turning on to pom-poms, languidly remarked: "Ye-es,
+I don't think they do much weel destwuction--er-er--it is pwincipally
+their demowalising effect." The demoralising effect on himself having
+been so very non-evident, this remark struck me as being distinctly
+good. Our "Wearie Willie" snapped out a remark now and again, and
+apparently always to the point. Later, Legge's men occupied the ridge
+opposite and chivvied the enemy for several miles; we, returning to
+camp, watered our horses and, twenty minutes later, set out on a
+reconnaissance with the guns in hopes of finding some snipers in the
+vicinity of Hekpoort. We returned bagless. That night it rained, as
+usual, and as we had not had time to rig up any shelters, or even dry
+our blankets, we came in for another good wetting. At two o'clock the
+next (Saturday) morning we had to turn out and stand to our horses.
+"Steady, boys, steady, we always are ready"--_afterwards_; you know our
+good old British style. But Frater Boer had had a belly full the
+preceding day, his losses in killed and wounded being considerable, I
+hear. Legge's men swear to have buried eight, and Clements said one of
+our shells hit a gun of their's. That night we had the fashionable and
+seasonable rain again. (Please, in future, remember we have this every
+night, and so I will refrain from too many references to it). On Sunday
+we moved off for Rietfontein, No. 1001. We formed the rearguard and
+expected a bit of harassing, the country being most favourable for such
+operations on the part of the enemy. But they left us alone, though they
+were undoubtedly about unseen. As several waggons broke down, and had to
+be mended or burned, we had to grill on the kopjes for hour upon hour,
+cursing the convoy with all our might. Presently the inevitable question
+"What's the date?" elicited the fact that it was the 25th. (You can
+imagine the chorus "A month to Christmas!" and Sunday.) Sunday, and you
+probably in your frock coat and patent boots, luxuriously reclining in
+an upholstered pew, listening to promises of peace and rest, or standing
+up half thinking of the good meal to follow, and singing
+
+  "I came to Jesus as I was,
+     Weary, and worn, and sad;
+   I found in Him a resting place,
+     And He hath made me glad."
+
+And I, there on those hard rocks, with a perpendicular sun above me,
+mechanically watching the distant hills, but seeing with strong mental
+eyes a church porch with roses and creeper over it and noting the
+Sabbath silence which presently would be broken softly by the voices of
+the worshippers within:
+
+  "Come unto Me, ye weary,
+   And I will give you rest."
+
+I think to stand outside a church and hear the worshippers within is to
+get one of the most pleasant impressions possible; somehow it always
+strikes me that one imagines the people within to be so much holier,
+indeed more spiritual, than they really are. But all this looks either
+like preaching or scoffing, and it is neither. It is really the result
+of a desire to push myself into the home life you good people are still
+leading, somehow or other. An excusable offence after all, my Masters!
+Having re-cursed the tail of the convoy, it at last moved forward, and
+we, having allowed it so much grace, did the same. At the outskirts of
+the village, which the column had moved through, the last waggon--an
+overloaded one--collapsed, and once again we manned the heights. I was
+sent out with a couple of men to a post a little in advance of the rest
+of our troop, and, after an hour, about a mile off saw four Boers
+nonchalantly riding toward the other side of the dorp. These were
+followed by two more. I sent in and reported this, and shortly after we
+moved off, unsniped. Undoubtedly these beggars had been waiting for the
+column to pass, so that they could return and have a Sunday dinner and a
+quiet evening, having had rather a rough week, and it was only owing to
+the above-mentioned waggon breaking down that we had a glimpse into the
+ways of our enemy. Our camp was not far off, and we go there at about
+six; some of the column were in by eleven in the morning. The amount of
+burning done _en route_ was almost appalling. The next day we marched
+into Krugersdorp once again, passing several marshy spots where arum
+lilies were blooming in rich profusion. We reached here at noon; the
+Dorsets and Devons who formed the rearguard had a bit of scrapping, and,
+thanks to a straggling convoy, did not get into camp till close on
+midnight, and so, of course, got a rare soaking from the usual rain.
+Here I have received a few belated mails, and live in hopes of getting
+the latest. I have also read in some of the papers of the welcome home
+of the C.I.V.'s.
+
+  "You've welcomed back the C.I.V.'s,
+  Back from their toil to home and ease;
+  The war is going pretty strong,
+  _We've_ bade adieu to 'sha'n't be long';
+  And you at home across the seas,
+  Don't quite forget _us_, if you please."
+
+The following poetic outburst requires a little explanation. We have had
+the khaki this and the khaki that, and it has just occurred to me a
+khaki Omar Khayyam would not be out of place, for of a truth one needs a
+_soupçon_ of philosophy out here occasionally. With this idea in my
+head, and having a little leisured ease, I have set out to minister a
+long-felt want. Not, however, having my Persian "Fitzgerald" by me, I
+must ask your indulgence for any grave discrepancies in the text.
+
+  THE RUBAIYAT OF OMAR KHAYYAM.
+
+  (_For the use of British Soldiers on the Veldt._)
+
+  The night has gone, the golden sun has riz,
+  The khaki men have all begun to friz,
+    Cleared is the mushroom camp of yesterday,
+  And forth they go upon the Empire's biz.
+
+  Oh! hopes of home that with each morning rise,
+  Oh! wondrous legends which wild minds devise;
+    One thing is certain, and the rest is lies,
+  The Yeoman, once enlisted, often sighs.
+
+  Oh! fool to cry "The Boer is on the run,"
+  He is, we know, and _ain't forgot his gun_;
+    And often from the rocky kopje side
+  He stops and pots--your mess is minus one.
+
+  I sometimes think that nought whiffs on the wind
+  As strong as where some dying steed reclined;
+    That any casual stranger passing by
+  The place, if asked, again could eas'ly find.
+
+  Alas! that Mausers are not turned to hoes,
+  That Christmas comes, and with the pudding goes;
+    And we stick here for ever and a day,
+  When we return (or _if_) _who knows_--WHO KNOWS?
+
+  Oh! Pard, could thou and I with Holmes conspire
+  To round De Wet up with his force entire;
+    Would we not smash it all to bits--and then
+  Get somewhere nearer to our heart's desire.
+
+  A pipe o' baccy 'neath a leafy tree,
+  A recent mail from far across the sea,
+    No one to worry for an hour or two,
+  And veldt, indeed, were Paradise to me.
+
+  And, lo, 'tis vain the generals to blame,
+  Keep boldly sticking at the ancient game;
+    And if to-day you are upon the veldt,
+  To-morrow it will also be the same.
+
+  Each morn's _reveillé_ comes like some nightmare,
+  Sleepy you rise and pack your kit, and swear;
+    Then mount your saddled steed with gun in hand,
+  And hasten off, you know not why or where.
+
+  Some in the fighting let their hearts rejoice,
+  For some the waggons are the patriot's choice:
+    Oh! loot the farm, don't let the chickens go,
+  Nor heed the roaring of the sergeant's voice!
+
+  They say the gentlemen in khaki keep
+  The courts where Kruger once did plot so deep;
+    That great Oom Paul across the sea has trekked,
+  Before the Courts of Europe now to weep.
+
+  We are but pawns, first front, then flank, then rear,
+  Moved by the Master Players there and here
+    Upon the veldt and kopje (that's the board),
+  _Sans_ tents, _sans_ beds, _sans_ pudding and _sans_ BEER.
+
+  Yon broiling sun which smiles and is our bane,
+  Yon thunder-cloud which means a soaking rain,
+    Will both some day look down upon this veldt
+  For us, and let us hope 'twill be in vain.
+
+The above extract will, I am sure, suffice to show the general tone of
+the khaki Rubaiyat, and be more than enough to damn my poor but honest
+reputation.
+
+
+TREATMENT OF THE SICK.
+
+                                        KRUGERSDORP,
+                                         _December 5th, 1900._
+
+As the English mail leaves this benighted place to-morrow at mid-day, I
+am dropping you a few lines, though I feel in anything but a scribbling
+humour. Clements moved out on Monday for about a week's jaunt, and left
+us, the Sussex Squadron and sick men, behind in charge of about a
+hundred remounts, mostly Argentines; and with the pleasant task of doing
+pickets and such like, about two miles out from the town. As I write I
+am very wet, it having been raining for the last two days. This morning
+the other four occupants of Mealie Villas had to clear off at 3 o'clock
+to do a picket, and so, as they naturally withdrew the support of their
+rifles from their blankets, there was not much shelter for me. I wonder
+what your opinion was on the statements of Mr. Burdett-Coutts, M.P., as
+regards certain hospitals out here, and also what you think of the Army
+doctor? It was my duty to parade the sick men before one of these august
+beings this morning. I received the order at a quarter past nine from
+our Squadron Sergeant-Major to parade before the doctor's tent, in the
+lines of Marshall's Horse, at 9.30. So at that time, behold me with
+fourteen sick men in the driving, drenching rain waiting in puddles of
+water outside the well-closed tent of the disciple of Esculapius. There
+we waited till at last an officer entering the tent, in response to my
+inquiry, as to whether I was at the right place or not, replied in the
+affirmative and informed an unseen being that there was a sick parade
+outside. Apparently without even rising, the great unseen was heard to
+remark shortly, "Sick parade is at seven o'clock every morning," the
+tent was again closed, and the men with fever, dysentery, colds and
+sores wended their ways through the rain and mud, back to the damp
+interiors of their leaking blanket hovels. They were men of the Fife,
+Devon, Dorset, and Sussex Yeomanry Squadrons, and that is how some of
+your dear patriotic volunteers get treated occasionally by certain
+doctors out here. Our Battalion doctor (the 7th) is a very good sort,
+and if you are bad will see you at almost any time.
+
+On Wednesday (November 29th) a friend and I went into the 'Dorp and got
+a few stores (alas! the Field Force canteen is almost empty and the
+prospects of its being replenished are drear). Afterwards we strolled up
+to the station to see if there were any mails, and to see a train again.
+The Johannesburg train came in while we were there, and a sergeant-major
+of Kitchener's Horse shot an officer of the same corps soon after
+alighting from the train. The officer had put him under arrest for
+misbehaviour in Johannesburg. I had my choice of a dozen yarns as to the
+real cause of the tragedy. The officer was buried the next day. The fate
+of the sergeant-major I have not heard yet, though it is not difficult
+to guess. Mr. Wynne, our troop leader left us this day for England,
+having applied for leave on business. A statement of the losses among
+our officers may not be uninteresting. All of the following, save the
+last, are home or on their way: The Duke of Norfolk, injured thigh; the
+Hon. T. A. Brassey, elections; Mr. Ashby, reasons unknown, but
+undoubtedly excellent; Mr. Williams-Wynne, business reasons; Mr. Cory,
+still out here but working with the transport--hard.
+
+Which leaves us Mr. McLean, of rowing fame, as our captain and only
+officer.
+
+Saturday, apart from lifting us into December, was I believe,
+uneventful.
+
+
+VELDT CHURCH SERVICE.
+
+On Sunday we had a Brigade Church Service--we had not had one for a long
+time. We also had a real padre, who wore a surplice, cassock, and
+helmet, and who preached an indifferent sermon. I don't suppose we
+deserve a real good man.
+
+[Illustration: Hymns & their Singers (At an I.Y. Veldt Church Service).
+"I was not even thus" Lead kindly Light.]
+
+The great event of Tuesday was the fate of my Christmas pudding, which I
+had received from my _Mater_. Having handled and examined it carefully
+for some time, I thought I could detect signs of decomposition about it.
+I communicated my fears to my comrades, who shared them, and said they
+didn't think it would last till Christmas. It didn't; for we ate it that
+evening. It was good, and I suppose we ought to feel ashamed of
+ourselves for eating it out of season, but really our excuses are many,
+principal among them being it is not wise trying to keep edibles, as
+they have a way of getting lost, and if the pudding managed to last to
+Christmas it is just on the cards we might not.
+
+To show you how civilised we are at the 'Dorp, we, when in standing
+camp, occasionally have a chance of getting a drink of beer. This
+afternoon a barrel was brought into our camp, and to-night we shall be
+able to buy pots of it at sixpence a pint. You should see those pints!
+We may be Imperial Yeomanry, but they don't give us Imperial Pints.
+Teetotallers will be interested and pleased to hear that out of our
+princely stipend of 1s. 3d. per diem (unpaid since July) we don't buy
+much of the beverage.
+
+I have drawn a fresh horse from the remounts we are in charge of; my
+last gee-gee I called "Barkis," because he was willing, this brute I
+shall have to dub "Smith," because he certainly is not--Willing.
+
+N.B.--Our mounts are always known as "troop horses," those belonging to
+the officers though, however Rosinante-like, are invariably, politely
+and with dignity alluded to as "chargers."
+
+Thursday morning. We had to turn out and stand to arms this morning at
+three, an attack being expected on the railway. I, happening to have the
+stable picket, had the pleasure of arousing the recumbent forms of the
+sleepers with the joyous Christmas carol of "Christians, awake! come,
+salute the happy morn." You ought to have seen the "Christians" awake;
+to have heard them would have been too awful.
+
+So from three till six we stood to arms, a thick fog enveloping us,
+making it impossible to see more than fifty yards to our front or rear.
+But they did not come. I understand that we may have "the stand to arms"
+wheeze every morning now, so we have something to look forward to.
+
+
+COMRADESHIP.
+
+                                   KRUGERSDORP.
+                                     _Wednesday, December 12th, 1900._
+
+As we are under orders to leave here and join Clements to-morrow, I am
+writing so as to catch the mail which goes out on Thursday.
+
+On Sunday we had a Church Service, and in the afternoon had a visit from
+Nobby--the Border Regiment has been resting at Krugersdorp for a few
+weeks--who entertained us till, what out here we should term a late
+hour, about nine.
+
+On Monday I heard that another of our Sussex fellows had died of enteric
+at Pretoria.
+
+Nobby has just looked in again, he is rather a swell, wearing one of our
+new war hats we had served out, and which I gave him, preferring to keep
+my old one; in his words, he looks as if he belonged to the "Yeomandry."
+It is wonderful how all our fellows get on with our professional
+brethren. Take for instance one of our men, a 'Varsity man, hight
+Pember, he is a dry, self-contained beggar, and lives his own life. Into
+this life has come a man of the Northumberland Fusiliers. They both hail
+from the same county. After the day's march, when the Infantry not on
+picket are in camp, a dark figure often slouches up our lines, and a
+voice inquires, "Is Pem 'ere?" and Pember of ours, late of Trinity Hall,
+calls out from the darkness, "Here you are, mate," and forthwith the man
+of the Fighting Fifth and the Imperial Yeoman sit down together and chat
+of Heaven knows what, and the latter gives the former half of his prized
+hard tack ration (he wouldn't give me a biscuit for his soul's
+salvation), for the Northumberlands do not fare well at their
+quartermaster's hands, at least they did not the last time we were on
+the trek. Then, at about the same time Nobby is leaving us, the Fusilier
+also arises and disappears with a "Good night, chummy," into the
+darkness.
+
+The dry canteen, for the troops, in the town, is now quite empty.
+Fortunately, we still have some of the Great Candle Loot left, otherwise
+we should be very much in the dark after sunset. To save our candles
+from draughts and get a good light, we always burn them in biscuit
+tins, a practice I can recommended highly if ever you go out campaigning
+and lack a lantern. A convoy going to Rustenburg from Pretoria was
+attacked and part captured a few days ago by Delarey's crowd. I had
+expected that to happen soon, the length of the convoy and insufficiency
+of its guard, having frequently struck me as very tempting for Brother
+Boer.
+
+Well, I must conclude, as I have nothing of note to narrate, and must
+begin to pack my possessions in a manner to circumvent our
+quartermaster-sergeant when packing our kits on the waggon.
+
+
+
+
+IN HOSPITAL.
+
+
+                                  IMPERIAL YEOMANRY HOSPITAL,
+                                    PRETORIA.
+                                     _Tuesday, December 18th, 1900._
+
+_Dulce et decorum_ 'tis to bleed for one's country, especially to a
+small extent, and that is my case. So here I am taking my ease with a
+slightly stiff leg, caused by a flesh wound acquired during a lively
+rearguard action we had on the 14th, and my hand tied up in a manner to
+render writing rather a slow and fumbling ceremony. I always find it
+easier to write of the present than the past, so will get through the
+events of last week as quickly as possible. On Thursday last we left
+Krugersdorp for Rietfontein to join Clements, with the Borders, some
+mounted details and useless remounts. Half of our fellows were leading
+the latter. We, the remainder, formed the rearguard, and a long,
+wearisome job it was. Oh, how those waggons broke down and stuck in
+dongas and spruits! At last we got into camp, to my infinite relief, for
+the sun had, for once, given me a vile head. All through the day we
+heard guns firing, first near us and then distant. The next day we were
+again rearguard, and had a rare harassing. The end of that beastly
+convoy seemed to lag even more than on the preceding day! And we of the
+rearguard, on the kopjes and ridges, watched the enemy galloping round
+and up to the favourable positions, potting at them when we had a decent
+chance. But they knew the lay of the land, of course, and the closer
+they got the more invisible they became. They don't require khaki to
+make them indiscernible. Then a single shot would inform us as it hummed
+above our heads that one gentleman had got into position, and was
+getting the range, then others, and we knew his friends were with him,
+and hard at it. Once a few of us happened to be lying in front of a
+ridge we were holding, and _at which_ the Boers were potting from
+another about 800 yards off. We got the order to retire over the crest
+and get better cover and had a warm time doing it. One at a time we
+crawled, then, crouching low, rushed back a few yards and dropped behind
+a rock for breath and cover. Then back again we dragged ourselves till
+the cover was better. Their firing was distinctly good, and several
+fellows were hit. On one occasion I dropped behind a small piece of
+rock, ostrich-like, covering my head, and almost simultaneously with my
+action a bullet struck the side of the rock a few inches from my face
+with a nasty _phutt_. That is what it is like on such occasions. That's
+the sort of game we played all day, cursing Clements for not sending out
+to meet us and give us a hand. We did not know what had happened in the
+valley the preceding day. Later we got into an ambush, some of the enemy
+being within a hundred yards of us; and had several horses killed. We
+thought that the show was over, as Rietfontein was close handy, and the
+last time we were there the locality was clear. It was almost dark when
+we entered Clements' camp. But where were the tents, the men and horses
+that used to be? Presently a figure with a face rendered unrecognisable
+by bandages, came up to us. It was Sergeant Pullar of the Fifes, and
+from him we had the story of the previous day's disaster. Over half the
+Fifes are missing, most of the Devons also, so-and-so killed, and
+so-and-so, and so-and-so. Kits lost, and tents burnt. From various
+reliable sources I have compiled the best account I can make of the
+affair, which we missed by the merest fluke, what men call chance, and
+here it is.
+
+
+THE STORY OF NOOITGEDACHT.
+
+Clements' camp was at Nooitgedacht, between Hekpoort and Olifant's Nek,
+where he had been for three days. Nooitgedacht is at the base of the
+Magaliesberg range of hills (the name means "Ne'er Forgotten"). We had
+camped there about a couple of months back. It lies near a large kloof.
+A little to the west of Clements were Colonel Legge's mounted troops,
+composed of Kitchener's and Roberts' Horse, "P" Battery R.H.A., and two
+companies of M.I., the whole force numbering, at the most, 1,400 men.
+Knowing that Delarey was in the vicinity with a strong force, the
+general had helio'ed for reinforcements, which, unfortunately, were not
+forthcoming, so apparently he was sitting tight, with doubled pickets,
+on the Magaliesberg and kopjes in the valley. Then came the eventful
+Thursday (the 13th). During the night Beyers' Commando made a wonderful
+trek from the north to reinforce and co-operate with Clements' old foe,
+Delarey, and just before dawn the enemy, who had crept up unseen or
+heard in the dark, rushed Legge's pickets on the west of the camp,
+shooting the sentries and many of the men as they lay asleep in their
+blankets, soon afterwards getting into the gallant Colonel's camp. Poor
+Legge, who ran out in the direction of the pickets as soon as he heard
+the firing, was one of the first killed. Then Clements' pickets on the
+Magaliesberg, which were composed of four-and-a-half companies of
+Northumberland Fusiliers, suddenly became aware of the close proximity
+of the enemy, who were in great force, about 3,000, and had, undetected,
+crept up the gradual sloping northern side of the range. The
+Northumberlands soon exhausted their ammunition, volunteers of the
+Yorkshire Light Infantry tried to take them a fresh supply, but were
+allowed to toil up the steep hillside with their heavy loads, only to be
+dropped, when near their goal, by their exultant foes. Probably never
+before have the Boers fought with such boldness, standing up and firing
+regardless of exposing themselves. Meanwhile, the Yeomanry, who had been
+standing to their horses in the camp, received the order to reinforce
+the Northumberlands on the Magaliesberg above them, and, with the Fifes
+leading and Devons following, commenced to ascend the precipitous
+hillside. Alas, the Boers were in possession of the summit, the
+Fusiliers having surrendered, and the Yeomanry got it hot. Of the Fifes,
+Lieutenant Campbell, who had only joined them a fortnight ago at
+Krugersdorp, was the first to fall, struck by an explosive bullet in the
+head. Out of less than fifty, fourteen were killed, and almost all the
+survivors wounded more or less seriously. At last, without a ray of
+hope, they were compelled to surrender, too. Many a good comrade's fate
+is known to me, so far, by that direly comprehensive word, _missing_. I
+have heard that the Boers threw many of the wounded over the precipitous
+southern side of the Magaliesberg, but do not believe it. Then they
+turned their full attention to the camp below; every officer of the
+staff was hit, the brigade-major was killed, having many wounds.
+Clements himself went unscathed; wherever there was a hot corner the
+general was to be seen coolly giving orders and apparently unconcerned
+amid a hail of bullets. "I'll be d----d if they shall have the cow-gun,"
+he remarked, and, by gad, they didn't. With drag ropes it was moved down
+the hill for some distance, and then an attempt was made to inspan the
+oxen. As fast as one was inspanned it was shot, and quickly another and
+another would share its fate. At last, by sheer desperate perseverance,
+some sort of a team was inspanned and the gun moved forward, leaving
+dead and wounded men and considerably over half of the ox-team behind,
+but with the aid of the field artillery, who shelled the kopjes, was at
+length got on to a comparatively safe road. Of a truth, were I another
+Virgil and a scribe of verse, not unheroic prose, I might well have
+started this little account with
+
+  "I sing of arms and of heroes."
+
+The getting away of the transport was a desperate affair; the niggers
+scooted, and amid the roar of the field guns, pom-poms, maxims and
+rifles, which between the hills was terrific, the mules stampeded.
+Officers, conductors and troopers rode after the runaways, and, under
+threats of shooting if they didn't, compelled the niggers to return with
+the mules. Chief amongst the Yeomanry who distinguished themselves that
+day, was Sergeant Pullar, who rode after the retiring convoy, called
+for, and returned with volunteers to the camp and helped with the guns
+and ammunition, and in various other ways. At last the Boers swarmed
+into the camp and our guns, turning on it, shelled it, containing as it
+did, friend and foe alike, a regrettable but absolutely necessary
+measure. Then our force retiring down the valley to Rietfontein fought a
+fierce rearguard action, the Dorset Yeomanry under Sir Elliot Lees and
+the remnants of the Fifes and Devons forming the rear screen, supported
+by Kitchener's and Roberts' Horse, mostly dismounted, and the guns.
+During this retirement, which I have heard wrongly ascribed to the M.I.,
+Sir Elliot and his orderly, Ingram, of the Dorsets, on one occasion
+finding that two dismounted Yeomen had been left behind on a recently
+abandoned kopje, gallantly rode back and bore them away on their horses
+into comparative safety.[7] The artillery were grand, as ever, and in
+spite of killed and wounded gunners and great losses in the teams, saved
+their guns and used them to effect. At six o'clock on Friday morning the
+rearguard entered camp at Rietfontein. Our casualties--killed, wounded
+and missing, are 640, while it is stated and believed that the enemy's
+losses were even more severe. It seems a strange coincidence that
+exactly this time a year ago at home in dear old England we were going
+through the black Stormberg and Colenso week, and Christmastide was
+coming to many a sorrowing home.
+
+         [Footnote 7: For his share in this gallant deed, Ingram was
+         promoted by the C.-in-C. to Corporal. Several of the Devons
+         and Fifes were subsequently mentioned in despatches. Sergeant
+         Pullar was persuaded to accept a commission, as also were
+         Sergeant-Majors Gordon and Cave. All three being excellent
+         soldiers and popular with the men. A Yeoman told me lately,
+         "It was simply splendid the cool way in which Colonel Browne
+         and Sir Elliot Lees superintended the waggons being moved
+         from camp."]
+
+Since writing the above, I have heard vague tales that a good many of
+the missing have turned up at Rustenburg, being either men who got
+through or released prisoners. This I rather anticipated and hope to be
+true. About the Yeomanry I have not heard any reassuring news yet; one
+thing is certain--they had many casualties and fought desperately.
+
+  NOOITGEDACHT.
+
+  _Thursday, December 13th, 1900._
+
+  Comrades of Fife and of Devon,
+     Dying as brave men die,
+  Under God's smiling blue heaven,
+     Now you peacefully lie
+  On the hills you died defending,
+     Or veldt where you nobly fell,
+  Your foemen before you sending;
+     Good comrades, fare thee well.
+
+  O comrades of Devon and Fife,
+     Memories flood me o'er;
+  Fierce mem'ries of many a strife
+     In days that are no more;
+  Full many a fast have we shared,
+     Of many treks could I tell;
+  Brave men who have done and dared,
+     Comrades of mine--farewell.
+
+
+  _L'envoi._
+
+  And when in the great Valhalla
+    All of us meet again;
+  Norsemen in skins and armour
+    And men in khaki plain;
+  With a smile to erstwhile foemen
+    Who 'gainst us fought and fell,
+  I'll haste to my fellow Yeomen,
+    Till then, dear chums--farewell!
+
+
+TWO FIELD HOSPITALS--A CONTRAST.
+
+On Friday I went before our Battalion doctor, who had lost everything,
+save what he stood in. However, he fixed up my leg and hand and exempted
+me from duty. On going before him the next day he said my leg wanted
+resting, and in spite of protests sent me to the R.A.M.C. field
+hospital. A word aside here. I suppose you have heard of this great
+institution of the British Army--the d----d R.A.M.C. (I seldom, if ever,
+have heard it alluded to without the big, big D's.) My experience of it,
+I am pleased to say, has been, so far, severely limited, but, slight as
+it is, I can quite understand why it is lacking in popularity. With
+three other Yeomen and my kit, I accompanied the doctor's orderly to the
+Brigade Hospital. The order for our admission was given in, and we were
+told we should be attended to at nine. The sun was hot, shade there was
+none, and outside the doctor's tent we waited. Nine came and went, a
+doctor also rode up, chatted with someone inside, and rode away. The sun
+was scorching, and we dare not go away to get in any friendly shade.
+Three of us had game legs and one dysentery, but, of course, we grumbled
+not, for the R.A.M.C. are all honourable men. Various squads of sick
+Artillery, M.I. and other regiments marched up, and finally an R.A.M.C.
+sergeant came to the entrance of the tent and began calling them up
+before the doctor. Eleven o'clock came, and in the hot sun we waited
+still, in spite of being half-determined to return to our lines, as it
+was getting rather wearisome and confoundedly hot; but the R.A.M.C. are
+all honourable men. A Canadian helped a chum down to the group of
+impatient patients, and after a few words left him with the terribly
+audible remark, "So long, ole man. I'd sooner blanked-well die on the
+veldt than go there." Which showed how he failed to appreciate the
+R.A.M.C., and also his bad taste, for those inside must have heard him.
+But there, they know that they, the R.A.M.C., are all honourable men.
+"Driver Neads!" calls the spic and span little dark-moustached sergeant,
+reading from a list of names. A ragged dirty-looking Artilleryman limps
+painfully up, _two pills_ are given to him, he gazes curiously at them,
+then at the back of the donor, who has turned away, and then realising
+that nothing further is to be done for him, limps heavily back, making
+room for the next patient. Once in the background, he heels a small hole
+in the earth, turns the contents of his hand into it, methodically fills
+the hole up, and hobbles back with his squad. They were, of course, the
+celebrated "Number Nines," the great panacea out here as, of course, you
+know. They (are supposed to) cure all diseases, from dysentery and brain
+fever to broken legs and heads.
+
+And still we, who were first, waited in the blazing sun, to be last.
+Finally the smart sergeant smilingly recognised us, and cheerily told us
+that there was an Imperial Yeomanry Field Hospital somewhere in the
+vicinity, and we were to go there, and with that returned us our
+admittance form. I pressed him for more accurate information, and had
+the supposed direction given me, which proved correct. So off we
+crawled, I, with my Bunyan's Pilgrim-like load, holding the position of
+a scratch man in a race. I could not have done the distance had I not
+procured the services of a nigger, who relieved me of my kit for a
+shilling. So we shook the dust of the R.A.M.C. Field Hospital from our
+boots, but let not an abusive word be levelled at them, for are they not
+all honourable men?
+
+The Imperial Yeomanry Field Hospital was about a mile off, and on
+reaching it we were treated with every kindness. They had only come in
+the previous night, and we were the first patients. Every consideration
+was shown to us, and in a few minutes we were lying down in a fine tent
+of the marquee brand and drinking excellent _café au lait_ and eating
+bully and biscuit. "The best we can do for you at present," as they
+apologetically remarked to us. Fomentations were applied to our wounds,
+and luxuriously reclining on my back, smoking a Turkish cigarette one of
+the orderlies had just given me, I fervently swore that the grandest
+institution in South Africa was the I.Y. Field Hospital. In the
+afternoon some sick Inniskilling Fusiliers were admitted, and for some
+time seemed dazed at the kind treatment they were receiving, and
+appeared half under the impression they were in Heaven. "What's this
+chummy?" queried one. "Imperial Yeomanry Hospital" was the reply. "Thank
+Gawd 'taint the R.A.M.C." grunted the Tommy, turning over on his side
+with a sigh of relief. At about ten that night we had to make room in
+our tent for a dozen wounded men from Thursday's fight. Ninety were
+being brought into Rietfontein and the I.Y. people were taking half.
+Soon an ambulance was halted by our tent, and wounded men hobbled or
+were carried in, heads, arms and legs tied up, with here and there blood
+showing through the bandages. They were M.I., Kitchener's Horse,
+Northumberlands and K.O.Y.L.I. (King's Own Yorkshire Light Infantry).
+"Man," started a Yorkshire man before he had been in the tent a minute,
+"they (the Boers) treated us real well." "Ay, they was all right,"
+chimed in a M.I. man, "they gave us to eat as much as they 'ad." "One
+bloke arsked my permission to take the boots orf one of our dead chaps,"
+said a Northumberland Fusilier. And at it they went hammer and tongue,
+especially the latter. To follow the various speakers one needed a dozen
+pairs of ears at least. Several related that the Boers came up to them
+and told them they had made a grand fight of it. They were quickly
+supplied with beef tea and biscuits, and some of the necessary cases
+were dressed again. "See that that man has a ground sheet down there,"
+ordered Major Stonham, "he is on the bare earth." "I've laid on it for
+three nights out there, sir," cheerfully vouchsafed the patient under
+notice.
+
+At last I got to sleep, awaking at four, and having had a small bowl of
+porridge and milk, arose with the other fellows who had come in with me
+and the sick Inniskillings, and getting our kits, got into an ambulance
+waggon for the first time. The I.Y. people sent in two ambulances and
+the R.A.M.C. three open mule waggons filled with sick soldiers. We
+reached Pretoria at three, and we four Yeomen were sent to the Imperial
+Yeomanry Hospital, where, after once again giving in our names,
+regimental numbers, ranks, regiments, service, ailments, religion, and
+a hundred other items of general information, I was allotted a ward,
+bed, and suit of pyjamas, and after having had a bath, got into bed and
+awaited the next person desirous for my name, number, time of service,
+&c. It was not long before the sister in charge of our ward appeared;
+she is Irish (Sister Strohan), and naturally very kind. Our tent holds
+six men, and we were all new arrivals that evening. She asked if we had
+had anything to eat, and we said we had had nothing beyond a little
+porridge at four in the morning. Then she commanded the orderlies to
+get "these _poor_ men" bread, marmalade, cocoa, beef tea, pillows and
+all sorts of things. And we "poor men" laid comfortably in our beds and
+grinned at one another. She ordered us later to go to sleep, but we
+could not. For myself, I had not been in a bed for so long that I
+positively felt restless, and almost rolled out of bed so as to have a
+comfortable "doss" on the ground (it seemed like a case of the pig
+returning to its wallowing). At last I fell asleep, and once in that
+state took a good deal of arousing--for night nurses and orderlies tread
+more lightly than stable guards, and loose horses grazing round one's
+head.
+
+[Illustration: A friendly Boer family watching a British ambulance
+waggon, full of sick & wounded, going into Pretoria.]
+
+Thursday, December 20th. A friend, of the Fife Yeomanry, came in here
+wounded last night. He went up with twenty other men of his crowd to
+reinforce the Northumberlands on the hill. Out of these, six were killed
+and nine wounded. I have already told you many of the dead and wounded
+were left on the kopjes for several days. He tells me it was horrible to
+see some of the poor fellows; the flies had got on their wounds. One
+fellow with a wounded jaw had maggots inside as well as out, and they
+were taken out of his mouth with little bits of stick. Another with a
+wounded side was quite a heaving, moving mass of them where he had been
+hit.
+
+
+CHRISTMAS IN HOSPITAL.
+
+                                     IMPERIAL YEOMANRY HOSPITAL,
+                                       PRETORIA.
+                                         _Monday, December 24th, 1900._
+
+  Here's to the doc's an' the nusses,
+  The bloomin' ord'lies too,
+  Who tend to us poor worn cusses,
+  All of 'em good and true.
+  Fightin' with death unceasin',
+  With ne'er a word of brag,
+  Sorrow an' anguish easin',
+  Under the Red Cross flag.
+
+          _Extract from forthcoming "Orspital Odes."_
+
+Christmas Eve! Forsooth! And it falls on a homesick British Army in
+South Africa, home-yearning and longing for a sight of the sea (our
+sea!) like the famous Grecian host of old. If you ask a British
+soldier, "How goes it?" he promptly growls, "Feddup." I wonder what the
+Grecian warrior's equivalent for "fed up" was. He had one I am sure.
+
+Christmas Eve, forsooth! Where is the prickly, red-berried holly? Where,
+too, the mistletoe with its pearly berries? And where, most of all,
+queries your enforced member of a Blue Ribbon Army--where is the Wassail
+Bowl?
+
+The weather is fine, and under our tents we don't feel the heat of the
+sun. After the monotony of khaki here, there and everywhere, to which
+one gets accustomed on the veldt, the colours one sees here are quite
+enlivening. To begin with, _place aux dames_ the nurses are arrayed in
+grey, white and red, and the patients who arrive in torn, worn, dirty or
+bloody khaki, surrender all their warlike habiliments to an orderly,
+have a bath and then "blossom in purple and red"--pyjamas, or in pinks,
+stripes or spots.
+
+The food is very good here, and, as Tommy says, there is _bags_ of it.
+"Bags" is the great Army word for abundance. It is used apparently
+without discrimination, and so one hears of bags of jam, bags of beer,
+bags of bags, bags of fun, or anything else in or out of reason.
+
+For a student of dialect this hospital opens a large field. It is a
+regular Babel at times, our Sister speaking a superior Irish and the
+orderly an inferior brogue. In our tent are a Scotch, two Welsh, a
+Dorset and a Sussex Yeoman. In the next tent are some regulars of the
+Northumberland Fusiliers and Yorkshire Light Infantry, and a true-bred
+cockney Hussar, and their speech requires careful attention if the
+listener wishes to understand it, I can assure you. A few Kaffirs
+talking a bastard Dutch and an old Harrovian, who stutters like an
+excited soda water syphon, completes the Babel in my immediate
+neighbourhood.
+
+The Irish orderly, Mick, by the way, is one of the most wonderful and
+plausible fellows I have met out here. To say he could talk a donkey's
+hind leg off would be a mild way of describing his excessive
+volubility--he would chatter a centipede's legs off. Often when he comes
+in, with another orderly's broom, to make a pretence of sweeping the
+tent out, and leaning on the stick, starts retailing stories of
+mystery and imagination, I lay down the book I am trying to read, and
+closing my eyes, drift into the land of true romance.
+
+[Illustration: _Owing to the great wear and tear on the Hospital
+garments and the large influx of fresh patients--pyjama suits are very
+rare in a perfect state or satisfactory size. Slippers also are
+excessively scarce. The above is a common scene._
+
+ORDERLY (to complaining new patient): "_Well, it's the best Oi can do
+for yez._"]
+
+It is a land uninhabited by ladyes fayre in the general way, for the
+_dramatis personæ_ usually comprise "th' ortherly corp'ril"; "th'
+sargint of th' gyard"; "th' qua'thermasther, an' a low blaygyard he
+waz"; "th' gin'ril o' th' disthrict"; "a lif'tint in 'H' Company"; and
+other military personages, with "th' ortherly room" or a "disthrict
+coort-martial" thrown in. If I had only had a phonograph I would
+preserve them, and when I get home, have them set up in type, tastily
+bound, and announced as "Tales from the Ill, by R--. K--.," and then
+live a life of opulent ease on the proceeds thereof.
+
+"Th' sisther," as he calls her, says he is a dreadful man, and from her
+point of view I don't think she is far away from the truth. He argues
+about everything, and is always blaming his fellow orderlies. Still, it
+is the dreadful men who are invariably so entertaining.
+
+I have just heard that a friend, Trooper Bewes, a cheery fellow of the
+Devons, has succumbed to his wound. Christmas Eve, forsooth! His chum
+was shot through the stomach, and died on the veldt. Poor fellow, he
+(the chum) was always swallowing with avidity any rumour about our going
+home--perhaps he was too keen, and ironical fate stepped in. It's a hard
+Christmas Box for his poor people, is it not?
+
+We are debating whether to hang our socks up or not. If I do, and get
+something inside, it will probably be a scorpion. I found one in my boot
+a few days ago. The latest from our cheerful town pessimist, is "Don't
+be surprised if you are out another twelve months." Our Harrovian friend
+has summed up our feelings very aptly by stuttering, "If I had a bigger
+handkerchief I'd weep."
+
+A couple of orderlies have just passed our tent, bearing an inanimate
+blanket-covered form on a stretcher--the last of my poor Devon friend,
+beyond a doubt. Another was carried by about two hours ago, while we
+were having tea. Christmas Eve, forsooth! Well, I will resume this
+to-morrow, or on Boxing Day.
+
+                                        _Christmas Day._
+
+There are not many people who would do any letter-writing on the
+afternoon of this day. But out here one does marvellous deeds, which one
+would never dream of attempting at home. So here I am, my dinner
+finished, adding a few lines to this letter, commenced yesterday.
+
+Last night, in lieu of the festive carol singers, our waits (pickets)
+entertained us nearly all the night with volleys and independent firing.
+Whether the foe was real or imaginary I have not yet heard, but I
+believe the former. At four this morning I was awakened to have a
+fomentation on my leg, and drowsily realised it was Christmas Day. Then
+I fell asleep again, and dreamed of horrible adventures with Brother
+Boer. When we all awakened, we tried hard to convince one another it was
+indeed Christmas Day; one man actually going to the length of looking in
+his sock with a sneer, and all through the day "this time last year"
+anecdotes have been going strong amongst us of the I.Y.
+
+  "And a sorrow's crown of sorrows
+   Is remembering happier things."
+
+After breakfast I strolled up to the post-office tent on a forlorn hope
+for letters. There were none for me, but one and a fine Scotch
+shortbread for the wounded Fife man in the bed next to mine. The cake,
+the beauty of which we quickly marred, was tastefully decorated with
+sugared devices, and the inscription, "Ye'll a' be welcome hame!"
+
+Another fomentation, a visit from the doctor, who put us all on stout,
+and dinner was up. This consisted of the roast beef of Old--oh, no, it
+didn't, it was roast old trek ox, and I was unable to damage it with my
+well-worn teeth, so left it. The "duff" was not bad, and the quantity
+being augmented by a cold tinned one, which our Harrovian friend
+produced from his haversack, we fared very well, finishing up the repast
+with shortbread and a small bottle of stout each, with a diminutive
+pineapple for dessert.
+
+Everybody I meet seems agreed on one point, and that is there has been
+no Christmas this year. Well, let us hope we shall have a real
+old-fashioned one next year.
+
+                                        _New Year's Eve._
+  "The year is dying, _let him die_."
+
+Them's my sentiments--"let him die." Despite the _nil nisi bonum_
+sentiment, I can't find it in my heart to say (at this present time and
+in my present humour) a good word for the dying year, his last days
+having been ones to be remembered with--er--oblivion only, so to speak.
+Since writing last, I have been flying high--that is to say, my
+temperature has--having registered 104.4 (don't omit the point) for a
+couple of days. I was rather proud of this, for, as you know, I didn't
+swagger in here with a fever or anything like that. No, I simply and
+quietly waited about a week, and then let them see what I could do
+without any real effort. And that is the right way to do things.
+
+Look at Kitchener. People out here have been saying: "Wait till
+Kitchener is in command," and "Kitchener will do this and that." I
+sincerely hope he will. Mick, our day orderly, has just told me that "to
+hear people spake, ye'd think he cud brake eggs wid a hard
+stick,"--which I believe is his sarcastic way of summing up hero
+worship. I suggested most men could do that; whereupon Mick retorted:
+"Ye don't know, they might miss 'em." You never catch Mick napping. I
+only wish I could record the story of how he chucked the kits of "the
+Hon. Goschen and a nephew of the Juke of Portland's" out of one of the
+tents in 22 Ward, because they didn't choose the things which they
+wanted kept out, and let him take the rest away to the store tent.
+Needless to say, he was unaware at the time that he was entertaining
+angels.
+
+Kitchener visited the Hospital some time ago but I missed seeing him. I
+was sleeping at the time, and was awakened by his voice inquiring how we
+were, and turned round just in time to see a khaki mackintosh disappear
+through the door. Of course, I had met him before. He turned me out of a
+house at which the C.-in-C. and staff had luncheon the day we were
+marching on Johannesburg. My luncheon on that occasion consisted of a
+nibble at a small, raw potato.
+
+[Illustration: Sick.
+
+"Who said 'C.I.V.s'?"
+
+(With apologies to the talented painter of "Who said 'Rah'?")]
+
+  PARODY 9800134.
+
+  (Only one verse.)
+
+  When you've said "the war is over," and "the end is now in sight,"
+    And you've welcomed home your valiant C.I.V.'s,
+  There are other absent beggars in the everlasting fight,
+    And not the least of these your Yeoman, please.
+  He's a casual sort of Johnnie, and his casualties are great,
+    And on the veldt and kopjes you will find him,
+  For he's still on active service, eating things without a plate,
+    And thinking of the things he's left behind him.
+
+I'll spare you the chorus.
+
+The accompanying sketch, perhaps, needs a little explanation. To be
+brief, the British Army feels aggrieved at the praise bestowed on the
+C.I.V. Regiment, and its early return to England. To hear a discussion
+on our poor unoffending and former comrades is to have a sad exhibition
+of envy, hatred, malice, and all uncharitableness.
+
+Any amount of fellows have got bad teeth, and when one considers the
+trek-ox and the army biscuit, one cannot be surprised. A lance-corporal
+of ours went before the doctor last week on this score; he had
+practically no teeth, and has been _sent into Pretoria on a month's
+furlough_. It is generally circulated in the squadron that the
+authorities expect fresh ones to grow in that time.
+
+                                        _Tuesday, January 1st, 1901._
+
+I saw the New Year in--in bed. There is little or no news, when we do
+get some it is usually unsatisfactory. I suppose you know we have no
+paper in Pretoria; the best they can do for us is to let us buy for a
+tikkie the _Bloemfontein Post_, always four days old, and its contents!
+The same brief, ancient and censored war news, the inspired leading
+article, a column on a cricket match between two scratch Bloemfontein
+teams, a treason trial, advertisements for I.L.H. and other recruits,
+and that is about all. Well, here's "A Happy New Year to us all."
+
+There are some terrible dunder-headed beings in this world of ours. I
+saw one the day I came through Pretoria to this hospital. We were
+acquaintances in London, and with the eye of a hawk he picked me out of
+a load of dirty, khaki-clad wretches, and pounced on me with "What on
+earth did you come out here for?" I told him "to play knuckle bones."
+
+In the tent next to this is a quiet man with a gun-shot wound in his
+knee. He is Vicary, V.C., of the Dorset Regiment. You may remember he
+won it in the Tirah campaign for a deed immeasurably superior to that of
+Findlater's; he saved an officer's life by killing five Afridis,
+shooting two and bayoneting and butt-ending the rest--a messy job. He is
+a small, quiet man, and wild horses could not induce him to talk of the
+winning of his V.C. He won't say a "blooming" word on the subject to
+anyone, not even an orderly.
+
+We have a small library in the hospital (Mrs. Dick Chamberlain's). I got
+Max O'Rell's "John Bull and Co." from it a few days ago. It concludes
+with the author's reply to a question asked him the day before he left
+South Africa.
+
+"Well, after all these long travels what are you going to do now?"
+
+"What am I going to do?" he replied; "I am going to Europe to look at an
+old wall with a bit of ivy on it."
+
+And, by the Lord Harry, that's just what I want to do myself.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I'm getting rather tired of my prolonged loaf in Arcadia, for that is
+the name of this part of Pretoria, and although it is really not my
+fault, still I feel ashamed of myself for not being with the company.
+Still, even if I were out of the hospital, I should merely be able to
+join a number of details of Sussex, Devon, Dorset, Fife, and other
+Yeomen who are waiting in Pretoria an indefinite time for remounts and
+fresh equipment. I daresay my last letter, if it arrived at all arrived
+later than usual, as the day the mails left here there was a biggish
+fight a few miles down the line at the first station (Irene), and the
+train had to return. It is also rumoured that the home mails due were
+held up and collared, a hardy perennial this.
+
+All last Friday we could hear big guns pounding away, and we heard on
+Saturday that the enemy had pulled up a good deal of the line, but the
+fort, or forts, at Irene had held their own. In addition to this, rumour
+hath it that Delarey and eight hundred (or 500, or 1,000) have been
+killed or captured, also that Clements has been killed. But all this,
+as usual, needs confirmation. So inaccurate or vague is actual news when
+we do get it, that a big fight might take place in the nearest
+back-garden, and we should be absolutely ignorant of the real details of
+the combat.
+
+I have just heard that the news that General Clements is dead is
+correct. He died of a wound received some days ago I am told. If it is
+true, we have lost another good officer and brave man.
+
+We certainly have made every use of our privilege as Englishmen to
+grumble since we have been out here. A certain Bill Fletcher, erstwhile
+a Cockney pot boy, now of Kitchener's Horse, has just taken a bed in our
+tent, and has announced that he is tired of the "blooming" country,
+where the "blooming" flowers don't smell, the "blooming" birds don't
+sing, and the "blooming" fruit don't taste (this latter charge is not
+quite correct), and he wants to get back to the "blooming" fog and smoke
+of London; all this, and he has only been at it five months.
+
+
+THE CAREER OF AN UNTRUTH.
+
+Clements is not dead, and Delarey and his friends are not captured.
+
+I am telling you the latest rumours and anti-rumours, as this letter
+progresses.
+
+And yet the man I had the first version from had had it from an R.A.M.C.
+Sergeant, who had it on the most reliable authority of the commandant's
+orderly, who had heard the commandant tell it to the P.M.O. He had also
+been corroborated by a man who had seen the man who took it down from
+the heliograph. Also one of the hospital runners had heard Dr. ---- tell
+Dr. ----, and a friend of his had a friend who knew a man on the
+officers' mess, who had seen it up in orders, distinctly.
+
+A Tommy came in just now and said "Hullo, Corporal!" I shook his flipper
+weakly and tried the dodge of pretending to recognise him. But I had to
+give it up, and admit I could not for the moment recognise him, and
+thought he had made a mistake. To which he replied he had not, and
+didn't I remember the soap. I did.
+
+About two months or more ago, having halted at mid-day at some fontein
+or other _en route_ for Rustenburg, Whiteing and I went down to the
+nearest stream to have the usual wash. There we found heaps of fellows
+washing; but, alas! there was a great dearth of soap. A Northumberland
+man asked me if I could sell him some, and I gave him a small chunk. The
+demand was great, and there was practically no supply. When we got back
+to our lines, Whiteing, ever forgetful, discovered he had left his
+precious brown Windsor behind. It was too late to go back to try and
+find it, so he gave up all hopes of ever seeing it again. The next day,
+as we were riding through the infantry advance guard of the Border
+Regiment, one of the fellows shouted to me, asking if I had lost any
+soap the day before. I replied "No," and then recollected Whiteing's
+loss added that a friend of mine had. My infantry friend thereupon
+promised to bring it round in the evening, which he did. In this manner
+we became acquainted with him. I mention this incident just to show what
+a really good sportsman the true Thomas is. Here was soap in great
+request: we were strangers to him, having merely chatted with him and
+the others as we washed in the mud and water, and yet, without our even
+making enquiries for the precious lump, he went out of his way to return
+it.
+
+I asked him why he had come into the hospital, and he told me he and
+several others had been sent in as unfit for the veldt, and so were
+to act as hospital orderlies. When I inquired how he liked the idea,
+he said it was all right, as he was clear of the horrible
+"hundred-and-fifty," and he laid his hands significantly where the
+pouches are wont to decorate the waist of the poor infantryman.
+
+     [_Note._--I suppose you know the infantryman's cross is the hated
+     150 rounds in the two pouches, which after many miles marching
+     become most irksome, especially for the muscles of the stomach.]
+
+I, of course, inquired after Nobby, but he could not tell me anything
+about him, as Nobby is in "H" Company and his was "B."
+
+To-day (the 16th) a large number of fellows are leaving here for the
+base and, the rumour is--_home_.
+
+[Illustration: Got his ticket.
+
+  "See that fellow?"
+  "Yes."
+  "He's 'marked for home.'"
+  "Lucky Beggar!"]
+
+The P.M.O. asked a Yeomanry friend yesterday if he would like to go home
+or join his squadron, and the Yeoman's reply was he would like to rejoin
+his squadron--at home. In explanation, he smilingly stated that all of
+his squadron's officers, bar one, had gone home, and nearly all the
+squadron, having been invalided or discharged. Well, I think this is
+long enough for a letter written by a man who can hardly claim to be "on
+active service" just at present.
+
+
+THE SISTERS' ALBUMS.
+
+                                   _Sunday, January 26th, 1901._
+
+Still at the above address, but going strong, and almost losing the
+Spartan habits engendered by my recent life on the veldt!
+
+News is very scarce with us, and to dare to write you a long letter
+would be the height of impudence, so I will let you off with a
+moderately short one this week.
+
+Last week an original burlesque (perhaps I ought to politely designate
+it a musical comedy) was produced in a large marquee here, which is
+called "the theatre." I don't know what the name of the piece was but it
+dealt with a Hospital Commission, and the _dramatis personæ_ consisted
+of a Boer spy, posing as the Commissioner, the real Commissioner, as a
+new nurse, nurses, orderlies, Kaffirs and doctors, amongst the latter
+being a Scotch Doctor, who drank a deal of "whuskey" and whose diagnoses
+were most entertaining. It was quite pathetic to watch the keen interest
+with which the audience followed the diversions of "Dr. Sandy" with the
+bottle.
+
+I have been concerned in "doing something" in our day nurse's album
+lately (I think I have already alluded to the presence of the album evil
+out here). I have willingly volunteered to contribute to these volumes,
+hoping to see their contents, but, alas, in most cases I have had to
+start the tome; however, in the present case the album has been well
+started by various patients. Most of the efforts are strikingly original
+and all in verse, so I determined to do something for the honour of the
+county of my birth, and, securing a pen and ink, perpetrated some
+Michael Angelic-like sketches of "the-ministering-angel-thou," order.
+Then, hearing that a poem (scratch a Tommy and you'll find a poet) was
+expected, valiantly started off with something like this:
+
+  "She wore a cape of scarlet,
+  The eve when first we met;
+  A gown of grey was on her form
+  (I wore some flannelette!):
+  She was a sister to us all,
+  And yet no relation;
+  She stuck upon my dexter leg,
+  A hot fomentation."
+
+But appearing suggestive of something else, I crossed it out and finally
+produced the following ambitious ode:--
+
+  THE GREAT PANACEA.
+
+  Poets from time of yore have sung
+  In every clime and every tongue,
+  Of beauty and the pow'r of love,
+  Of things on earth and things above.
+
+  Sonnets to ladyes' eyes indited,
+  And for such stuff been killed or knighted.
+  They've raved on this and raved on that,
+  The dog or the domestic cat.
+
+  On blessëd peace and glorious war,
+  On deeds of daring dashed with gore,
+  And scores of other wondrous deeds,
+  Which History or Tradition heeds.
+
+  But I would humbly sing to praise
+  Something unhonoured in those lays--
+  The cure for broken legs and arms,
+  For suff'rers of rheumatic qualms.
+
+  For wounds by bullet or the knife,
+  Obtained in peace or deadly strife;
+  For broken heads or sprainëd toes,
+  And myriad other sorts of woes,
+  For that incurable disease
+  "Fed up" or "tired of C.I.V.'s."
+
+  For pom-pom fever, Mauseritis,
+  The toothache or the loafertitis.
+  For broken heart or broken nose,
+  For every sickness science knows.
+
+  All these and ev'ry other ill,
+  Are cured by that well-known Pill;
+  'Tis made on earth with pow'rs divine,
+  I sing in praise of _Number Nine_.
+
+To expatiate further upon the famous "No. 9 Pill" would be absurd, as it
+is as great an institution of the British Army out here as the 4.7 or
+pom-pom.
+
+[Illustration: Thoughtless Sister (persuasively): "Now I want you to do
+something very nice in my Album."]
+
+We are still suffering (worse than ever) from a paucity of news and a
+superabundance of rumours; indeed the supply of the latter far exceeds
+the demand, and budding fictionists eclipse themselves daily. Had the
+Psalmist lived in these days, I feel sure he would hardly have
+contented himself with the gentle statement that "all men are liars,"
+but have indulged in language far more emphatic. Still as far as we are
+concerned, the Boers can beat the most brilliant efforts of our own
+fellows any day.
+
+We have a lot of Regulars in this hospital, and it is amusing at times,
+and at others rather irritating, to hear some of their criticisms of the
+Yeomanry. I recently heard some of them (good fellows) chaffing merrily
+over certain Yeomanry (a very small number), who were concerned in an
+unfortunate affair some time ago, totally ignoring the fact that a
+_large_ number of Regular Infantry and Mounted Infantry were also
+equally involved. Again the Cavalry may make a mistake, and they have
+made a few, but we don't hear much about their incapacity, but let the
+Yeomanry commit a similar error, and we hear about it, I can tell you. I
+venture these few remarks in common fairness to the Yeomanry, my
+temperature being quite normal, as I fancy they have often been used as
+a butt where others would have done as well.
+
+The explanation, it appears, is this. A corps of new Yeomanry is being
+formed, who are to receive five shillings a day; we also, of the
+original Yeomanry, are to receive the same at the expiration of a year's
+service, having up till then been paid the regular cavalry pay, for
+which we enlisted. Naturally, Thomas A. feels exceedingly wroth at
+"blooming ammychewers" receiving such remuneration, and to use his own
+metaphor, "chews the fat" accordingly. His position and feelings remind
+me very strongly of the poor soldier in "The Tin Gee-Gee!"
+
+  Then that little tin soldier he sobbed and sighed,
+    So I patted his little tin head,
+  "What vexes your little tin soul?" said I,
+    And this is what he said:
+  "I've been on this stall a very long time,
+    And I'm marked '1/3' as you see,
+  While just above my head he's marked '5 bob,'
+    Is a bloke in the Yeoman-ree.
+  Now he hasn't any service and he hasn't got no drill,
+    And I'm better far than he,
+  Then why mark us at fifteen pence,
+    And five bob the Yeoman-ree?"
+        etc.       etc.       etc.
+
+I am very sorry for poor friend Thomas.
+
+On Wednesday (the 23rd) we heard the sad news that our Queen was dead.
+It came as quite a blow to us, and even now seems hardly credible; we
+had only heard the previous day of her serious condition. All through
+the Hospital everyone seems to be experiencing a personal bereavement. I
+overheard a Tommy remark, in a subdued tone full of respect, when he was
+told the news, "Well she done her jewty." And I am sure it summed up his
+and our feelings very accurately. A man has also told me of the death of
+Captain McLean, at Krugersdorp, which is very sad; he always looked so
+fit. Mr. Cory is now captain of our squadron and the only Sussex
+Yeomanry officer in South Africa.
+
+
+"LONG LIVE THE KING!"
+
+                                        _January 30th, 1901._
+
+You will soon begin to think that I am a permanent boarder at this
+place; indeed, I almost feel so myself now; though as a matter of fact I
+am expecting to be marked out any hour--the sooner the better, for the
+enforced inactivity is by no means free from monotony, not to mention
+headaches, toothaches, and sleepless nights, from which one seldom
+suffers on the veldt. I have found out a dodge for obtaining a better
+night's sleep than is one's usual lot, and that is a good pitched pillow
+fight before turning in. Of course, it is advisable not to be caught by
+the night sister.
+
+Last night we had a terrific storm, and had to stand by the poles and
+tent walls for a long time. The wind, hail and rain were tremendous, and
+in spite of our tents all being on sloping ground, with trenches a foot
+deep around them, we got a bit of moisture in as it was.
+
+On Monday, His Majesty King Edward VII., was proclaimed in Pretoria, a
+salute of guns fired from the Artillery barracks, and all flags
+temporarily mast-headed, and back to you good folks at home we sent
+echoing our loyal sentiment, "God save the King."
+
+On Saturday, Whiteing waltzed gaily up and paid me a visit, having got
+leave into Pretoria from Rietfontein, where he had been left with other
+men, all minus noble quadrupeds, and on Sunday another old comrade, the
+Great Boleno, darkened the door of our tent and brightened me with the
+light of his presence. He had been one of Clements' orderlies for the
+last two months, and had accompanied the general into Pretoria, and
+succeeded in securing a good civil berth in the town.
+
+[Illustration: "God save the King!" January 1901.]
+
+From these I learnt the fortunes of the battalion up to date. Briefly,
+after I left them they were some time at Rietfontein; then at
+Buffalspoort, where they did delightful guards, pickets, and early
+morning standing to horses; after which those possessed of horses went
+on to Rustenburg, I believe, where they now are, the horseless ones
+going back into Rietfontein.
+
+So now the Seventh Battalion of Imperial Yeomanry, like many others, is
+spread well over the face of the land.[8] Some of the fellows are home;
+some on their way thither; some in this hospital, some in others; some
+are in the police; some in civil employment; some with sick horses at
+Rietfontein; some in a detail camp at Elandsfontein (near Johannesburg);
+some with the battalion, at Rustenburg; and some, alas, are not.
+
+         [Footnote 8: The subsequent adventures of the battalion under
+         General Cunningham and later Dixon and Benson I am, of
+         course, unable to record.]
+
+Whiteing gave me a vivid description of his journey into Pretoria on one
+of the steam-sappers running between that town and Rietfontein; they are
+known as the Pretoria-Rietfontein expresses. As he put it, they stop for
+nothing, over rocks, through spruits and dongas, squelch over one of
+French's milestones here and there, the ponderous iron horse snorted on
+its wild career till its destination was reached.
+
+
+THE IRISH FUSILIER'S AMBITION.
+
+Though I am well off for literature of all sorts (my locker is a
+scandal), I don't seem to be able to settle down to anything like a
+quiet, enjoyable read at all. Tommy Atkins _never_ seems to realise that
+one cannot carry on a conversation and read a book simultaneously, or
+write a letter.
+
+        "Oh for a booke and a shadie nooke,
+           Eyther indoore or out;
+  With the grene leaves whysperynge overheade,
+           Or the streete cryes all about.
+         Where I maie reade all at mine ease,
+            Both of the newe and olde;
+  For a jollie goode booke whereon to looke,
+            Is better to me than golde."
+
+Thus the olde songe. And the kopjes are gazing stonily at me through the
+tent door; a man two beds off is squirming and ejaculating under the
+massage treatment of a powerful khaki _masseur_; doctors, sisters,
+orderlies, and runners come and go; a triangular duel between three
+patients on the usual subject--the superior merits of their respective
+regiments--is in full swing; and the realisation of the foregoing rhyme
+seems afar off.
+
+I, however, am not the only man with yearnings for a different state of
+affairs. Private Patrick McLaughlan, of the Inniskilling Fusiliers,
+occupying the bed on my right, has his. He often tells us his ideal of
+happiness, a "pub" corner with half-a-dozen pint pots containing
+ambrosial "four 'arf" before him, and a well-seasoned old clay three
+inches long filled with black Irish twist.
+
+The other day I ventured to Omarise his ideal of the earthly paradise
+thus:
+
+  A pipe of blackish hue for smoking fit,
+  Some good ould Irish twist to put in it;
+    Six pints of beer in a hostel snug,
+  And there, a king in Paradise, I'd sit.
+
+His only comment was a vast expectoration.
+
+By-the-way, my friend, Patrick, relates a good loot tale which befell
+his regiment in the Free State. They camped one day within easy distance
+of a store, kept by the usual gentleman of Hebrew extraction. Pat and
+his comrades made a rush for the place and collared all of the condensed
+milk, for which the merchant charged (or attempted to) a shilling per
+tin. About five men, early arrivals, paid; then in the scramble which
+ensued the rest omitted to do likewise. On returning to camp and opening
+the tins the milk appeared peculiar, and the regimental Æsculapius
+hearing of it, inspected the tins, pronounced them bad, and told the men
+to take them back to the store and get _their money_ refunded, which
+they did. Of course, the gentle Hebrew protested vehemently, but Tommy,
+with the medical officer's word behind him, soon persuaded him to do
+what he was told. Patrick was six shillings to the good over this
+transaction. And I daresay the wily Israelite regretted having had such
+a large stock of milk, though presumably he had hoped to rob the
+Philistines, not, as the case proved, to be doubly done by them.
+
+
+"WAR WITHOUT END."
+
+(AN INTERLUDE.)
+
+He came up to me and handed me a photograph. I took it, and beheld a
+being clad in a new khaki uniform and obviously conscious of the fact.
+An empty bandolier crossed his extended chest diagonally. His slouch
+hat was well tilted to the right, with the chin strap arranged just
+under the lower lip. The putties were immaculately entwined around his
+legs--in short the _tout ensemble_ was decidedly smart and soldier-like.
+His right hand rested lightly on a Sheraton table; in the immediate
+background was a portion of a low ornamental garden wall, in the
+distance was a ruin principally composed of Ionic columns in various
+positions--presumably the devastating work of the warrior in the
+foreground, "Look on that," he said bitterly, and as I returned it, "and
+on this, the _backbone_ of the British Army," smiting his manly breast.
+I looked, and in the bronzed, unshaven face and raggedly-apparelled
+figure before me, recognised a certain semblance to him of the
+photograph. I smiled sympathetically. "As it was," quoth he, "now and
+ever shall be, war without end." I turned to go, but was not fated to
+escape so easily. He held me with his bloodshot eyes, and perforce I
+stayed. With upraised voice he declaimed thus:
+
+  THE PSALM OF STRIFE.
+
+  (_Being what the Yeoman said to the Psalmist._)
+
+  Tell me not in ceaseless rumours
+    That we soon are going home,
+  Just to cure our bitter humours,
+    While upon the veldt we roam.
+
+  War is real, and war is earnest,
+    And Pretoria warn't the goal,
+  Out thou cam'st, but when returnest
+    Is not known to any soul.
+
+  Forward, fighting, smoking, chewing,
+    With a heart for any fate,
+  Still achieving, still pursuing,
+    And arriving--_just too late_.
+
+I fled.
+
+
+INVITATIONS--AND A CONCERT.
+
+                                    _Wednesday, February 6th, 1901._
+
+Another week has rolled away; a week's march nearer home anyway, and
+like the great MacMahon, I am here and here I sticks. The most thrilling
+event of the past seven days has been the sudden and unexpected
+reception of mails, after having abandoned all hope, and a parcel which
+arrived in Pretoria for me during the first week in September.
+
+I was interested to read in an enclosed note that my aunt hoped I should
+be home to spend Christmas with her. By-the-bye, people have been
+awfully good in sending me invitations to weddings, funerals, and
+christenings. In August last I was the recipient of a dainty invitation
+to the wedding of a friend. The sad event was to take place in June. I
+didn't go. The latest was a cream-laid affair, from another quarter, on
+which I was requested in letters of gold to honour certain near and dear
+relatives with my presence at the christening of their firstborn. As the
+affair was to take place in December, and I received the pressing
+invitation at the end of January--I was again unable to be present at
+another interesting ceremony. I have also received several invitations
+to Terpsichorean revels. My R.S.V.P. has been curtly to the effect that
+"Mr. P.T.R. is not dancing this season."
+
+As regards deaths and funerals, I have seen and attended more than
+enough of them out here. At this present moment a friend, a New
+Zealander, is in parlous plight. He was shot in the right shoulder, the
+wound soon healed, but the arm was almost useless, so the massage fiend
+here used to come and give him terrible gip. Then doctor No. 3 came
+along, said he had been treated wrongly, that the artery was severed,
+etc., and operated on him. The operation itself was successful, but as
+regards other matters, it is touch and go with him, his arm is black up
+to a little above the elbow, in places it is ebony, and, I understand,
+amputation, if the worse comes to the worst, is almost out of the
+question. So, with others, I go in to keep him cheered up, and chaff him
+over the champagne and other luxuries he is on, suggesting what a lovely
+black eye his ebony right mawler might give a fellow, and feeling all
+the time a strong inclination to do a sob. He is such a rattling fine
+fellow, indeed, all the Colonials I have met are.[9]
+
+         [Footnote 9: Since my return I have heard from "Scotty," as
+         we used to call him. He wrote from his home in New Zealand,
+         his right arm had been successfully amputated, and he was
+         getting accustomed to its loss.]
+
+Last night we had an open-air concert; the best part of it, as is often
+the case at such affairs, appeared to be the refreshments which were
+provided for the officers and artists. The talent was really not of a
+high order, being supplied from Pretoria.
+
+The chairman, who introduced the performers and announced the items,
+affording us most entertainment, usually, unconsciously, he being a
+long-winded individual, and invariably commencing his remarks with
+"Er-hem! Ladies and gentleman, a great Greek philosopher once said"--or
+"There is an old proverb." He essayed to give us "The dear Homeland,"
+but being interrupted in one of his most ambitious vocal flights by a
+giddy young officer (and a gentleman) throwing a bundle of music and a
+bunch of vegetables at him, hastily finished his song, and in a
+dignified voice requested us to conclude the proceedings by singing "God
+Save the Quing." This was the first time I had sung the National Anthem,
+since the death of our Queen, and I felt, as no doubt everybody has
+experienced, a most peculiar feeling on singing the words, "God Save the
+King."
+
+Then to bed, but not to sleep, for that is a difficult matter here--so I
+laid and chatted with a trooper of Roberts' Horse, the latest occupant
+of the next bed to me. He is, or rather was, a schoolmaster, wears
+spectacles and is grey-headed; what induced him to join in this little
+game heaven, and he, only know. In the midst of a discussion on the
+Afrikander Bond and the South African League, the night sister came in
+and imperiously bade us be silent and go to sleep. So the grey-headed
+schoolmaster and my humble self, like guilty children, became silent,
+and serenaded by the ubiquitous mosquito wooed sweet Morpheus.
+
+Thursday, February 7th. Last night it rained steadily nearly all night;
+and it has just recommenced. It is quite an agreeable change to see a
+leaden sky and hear the rain softly pattering on the tent roof, after
+many days of sweltering, dazzling heat, _when one is in a comfortable
+tent_. But it makes me think of and wish for a comfortable room at home,
+a good book, pipe, and an easy chair, the prospect outside beautifully
+dreary and rainy, a fire in front of me and my slippered feet on the
+library mantelpiece.
+
+A rather amusing incident occurred just now. One of the Devon Yeomanry
+who went up to the tent which is our post-office, on the off-chance of
+getting a letter, to his great astonishment got one. He came back eyeing
+the address suspiciously, and remarking, "It's tracts, I'm thinkin." His
+conjecture turned out correct. It appears that a certain thoughtful and
+religious society at home looks down the lists of the wounded and, now
+and again, sends some of the worst cases tracts. The title of one of the
+pamphlets was, "I've got my ticket," which amused us immensely, for to
+get one's ticket means to be booked for home. Another title was "The
+finger of God"--this to a man who has had an explosive bullet through
+his forearm seems rather rough.
+
+I fear my letters are becoming dreadfully reminiscent and anecdotal, but
+adventures and wanderings are not for the man who loafs in hospital.
+
+Wednesday, February 13th. I am all _kiff_ (military for "right"). This
+morning we had a mild joke with a new night orderly. As you may be
+aware, it is this gentleman's duty to wash all the bad bed patients.
+When he came in soon after _reveillé_ and asked if there were any bed
+patients to be washed, we all feebly replied, "Yes, all of us," and he
+had ablutionised three before he discovered the deception, when he
+anathematised us all.
+
+News is more rigorously suppressed than ever, and undoubtedly it is the
+right thing to do. Everybody is of this opinion, for the _friendly_
+Dutch in Pretoria and elsewhere used to know far too much.
+
+
+OUR ORDERLY'S BLIGHTED HEART.
+
+Friday. Yesterday was unfortunately the day of Valentine the Saint. I
+say "unfortunately" for this reason: I was just about to continue this
+letter, when our day orderly came in, and taking advantage of my
+sympathetic and credulous nature, after boldly reminding me that it was
+St. Valentine's Day, told me that he had only loved once and never would
+again.
+
+In this respect he differs considerably from the majority of orderlies.
+He then comfortably arranged himself on a vacant bed, and unsolicited,
+with a smiling face, told me the romantic story of his blighted
+affection. As it may interest you, I will give you a condensed version
+of the same. Would to Heaven he had so dealt with me. But I was born to
+suffer, and was I not in hospital? As a coster lad he went with a young
+woman who loved him. He also loved her. Her name was Olivia. She went
+upon the "styge," and loved him still. Then an old nobleman (Sir ----)
+fell in love with her, followed her persistently, and wooed her through
+her parents. He was rich but honest, and it was a case of December and
+April, for she was all showers--of tears. At last, against her heart's
+dictates, she married him and became an old man's pet--nuisance, I
+should imagine, and my orderly friend became a soldier. Alas for the
+trio, she could not forget her old, I mean young, love, and eventually
+blew her brains out in Paris. They spattered the ceiling and ruined the
+carpet--I forgot the rest, (there was a lovely account of it in the
+_People_), for over-taxed nature could stand no more, and I fell asleep
+dreaming of reporters wading ankle-deep in blood in a Louis Quatorze
+drawing-room, taking notes of a terrible tragedy in high life, and was
+horrified to hear a loud report, followed by a gurgling sound, and,
+opening my eyes, beheld--Mr. Orderly holding one of my bottles of stout
+upside down to his lips, and in his other hand my corkscrew with a cork
+on the end of it.
+
+Private McLaughlan, of the Inniskillings, having heard of this, informed
+me that he "jined th' Army" because his father would not let him keep
+five racehorses; and Private Hewitt, of the 12th M.I., gave his reason
+as being his refusal to marry a _h_eiress. After this our orderly ceased
+from troubling--for a time.
+
+Amongst the many sad cases I have come across, here is one which strikes
+me as being particularly pitiable. A poor fellow of the 2nd Lincolns is
+the patient I am thinking about. He is deaf, deaf as a stone wall, is
+sickening for enteric, cannot read, and is at times delirious. The tent
+the poor fellow is in is not a very good one, and he seems quite
+friendless. There he lies in his bed, never uttering a word or hearing
+one, and as helpless as a child. Some mornings back I saw him eating his
+porridge with his fingers, the man who had handed it to him having
+forgotten to give him a spoon. His utter loneliness seems too awful. I
+wonder what his poor mind thinks about. When told that he would
+probably be sent home, he said he did not want to go. Surely somewhere
+in God's sweet world there is somebody who cares for and thinks about
+him. I cannot half express to you the sadness of his solitude.
+
+
+SOUTHWARD HO!
+
+                                        NO. 2 HOSPITAL TRAIN,
+                                         _Monday, February 18th._
+
+On Friday I had my sheet marked with those magic words "For base,"
+paraded on Saturday morning before the P.M.O., and a few hours later was
+told to go to the pack store, draw my kit, and be ready to entrain at
+five. So I had to rush about.
+
+It was soon time to parade for the station, and I had to rush through as
+many leave-takings as possible. Good-bye to Sister Douglas, Sister
+Mavius, Sister O'Connor; to an Australian Bushman friend with injured
+toes, who hobbles about on his heels; to poor old Scotty, the New
+Zealander, as game as they make them, who is to have his right arm off
+on Monday (to-day); to a big, good-natured gunner of No. 10 Mountain
+Battery, whose acquaintance I had only just made; to a Piccadilly
+Yeoman; to our day orderly, and dozens of other good fellows, and I had
+said farewell, or perhaps only _au revoir_, to the I.Y. Hospital
+Arcadia, with the doctor of our ward, Dr. Douglas, one of the cleverest
+and best, the Sisters with their albums, and all its tragedies and
+comedies. Perjuring my soul beyond redemption by cordial promises to
+write to all and sundry, so I left them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Once aboard the lugger, I should say train, our berths were allotted to
+us, and we soon settled down. The whole thing is very much like being on
+shipboard, save that there the authorities are all for turning you out
+of your hammocks ("turn out o' them 'ammicks!"), and here they are all
+for keeping you in your bunk, the space being so limited. On each man's
+bed was a well-filled white canvas bag, being a present from the Good
+Hope and British Red Cross Societies. These were opened with no little
+curiosity. Strange to say one of the first things an old toothless
+Yorkshireman drew out was--a toothbrush. This caused general amusement.
+There was nothing shoddy about the contents of these bags; they
+contained a suit of pyjamas, shoes, a shirt, socks, towel, sponge bag
+with sponge, soap, and toothbrush in it, a hairbrush, and handkerchief.
+So could you but see me now, as I write, you would behold a being clad
+in a swagger suit of Cambridge blue pyjamas.
+
+Before daybreak a terrific bang aroused us to the fact that the engine
+which was to bear us southward had come into action, and soon we were
+under way. At Elandsfontein we beheld the mail train _with our mails_
+going up. Farewell to mails! Kroonstad was reached at half-past two, and
+we were shunted into a siding till this morning, when we resumed our
+journey, passing _through_ Bloemfontein, to our joy, and arriving at
+Springfontein soon after dark.
+
+What a gigantic affair this war has been, and is. To travel through
+these countries, the Transvaal, Orange River Colony, and the Cape Colony
+(Tuesday morning, we are now in the latter) by rail alone is to feel all
+criticism silenced.
+
+Already we have passed hundreds of miles of flat veldt, with now and
+again big kopjes in the background. At every station, bridge, and small
+culvert are bodies of regulars, militia, and volunteers, or colonial and
+other mounted troops. And when one considers that the bigger towns are
+being strongly held, also various posts all over these countries, and
+columns are operating in various districts, the whole affair fills one
+with wonder and admiration. We expect to reach Deelfontein this evening.
+An R.A.M.C. man has just been discussing that ghastly failure,
+inoculation, with another man. Said he: "Inoculation is bally
+tommy-rot!" Quoth the other, "That be hanged for a yarn. Tommy rot,
+indeed, it nearly killed me!" It's a fact, the unnecessary suffering
+which was endured by the poor beggars who allowed this experiment to be
+performed upon them, with the hope of spoofing the fever fiend, has been
+great. And strange to say, in many cases they (the inoculated) have been
+the first victims.
+
+Once again we are amongst our old enemies, the kopjes, which, south of
+the Orange River Colony, begin to assert themselves again. There has
+been any amount of rain down this way, and muddy water is flowing like
+the milk and honey of the promised land. From wet tents and saturated
+blanket kennels bronzed ragamuffins appear at every halting spot, and
+simultaneously they and we ask each other the old, old question, "Any
+news?"
+
+Sometimes they break the monotony of the negative by telling us that "De
+Wet is mortally wounded," or "has got away again," and we tell them that
+"Botha is surrounded." Some of the sanguine spirits aboard this train
+are buoying themselves up with the idea of getting home. Alas! there's
+many a slip 'twixt the land and the ship, as I fear they will find to
+their bitter disappointment.
+
+It is now Tuesday evening. We have just reached Naauwpoort, where we are
+spending the night. The Cape mail train has been detained here all day,
+the line ahead having been blown up, or some such thing, a train
+derailed and fired on, a Yeoman and several niggers killed, and other
+fellows injured. Brother Boer seems more in evidence down here than in
+any other place we have passed between Pretoria and this place.
+
+                                         IMPERIAL YEOMANRY HOSPITAL,
+                                           DEELFONTEIN.
+
+We arrived here on Thursday, February 21st. Between Naauwpoort and De
+Aar we passed the derailed train. Mr. Boer had done his work well--from
+his point of view. The engine (575) was lying on its side quite smashed,
+as were also several broken and splintered trucks, while a few graves
+completed the picture. But the line was intact once again. An officer of
+Engineers and some men were standing by their completed task as we
+slowly came up and passed the spot.
+
+  Line Clear: o'er blood and sweat, and pain, and sorrow's road I ran,
+  And every sleeper was a wound, and every rail a man.
+
+The first person I beheld from the carriage window on arriving here was
+one of our Sussex fellows. He seemed very pleased to see me, and I
+certainly was to see him. He has been here a week or more, and in that
+time had acquainted himself with the ropes. Having been given
+accommodation in the emergency tent for the night, he took me by divers
+ways to a bell tent in which I found two or three men of Paget's Horse,
+acquaintances of the "Delphic" days, another Sussex man, and a large
+washing basin containing beer--obtained no matter how. Into the basin a
+broken cup and a tin mug were being constantly dipped. With this,
+cigarettes, and chatter, the evening passed very agreeably. Of course
+this is early to criticise the Hospital and its working, but the general
+impression of we ex-Arcadians is that the Pretoria shop is far superior.
+
+As regards reaching Cape Town, one cannot say much. A good many of our
+fellows have been sent back to Elandsfontein, which has been styled as
+"the home for lost Yeomanry." In the station, a few hundred yards off,
+is a fine khaki armoured train, with a pom-pom named "Edward VII."
+mounted on the centre truck.
+
+
+R.A.M.C. EXPERIENCES AND IMPRESSIONS.
+
+                                        WYNBERG HOSPITAL,
+                                          CAPE COLONY.
+                                          _Monday, February 25th, 1901._
+
+The above address may appear to you like a day's march nearer home, but
+it is more than likely nothing of the sort. Having once got the
+convalescent gentlemen in khaki down south as far as Cape Town, and
+raised the home yearning hearts of the aforementioned to an altitude
+beyond the loftiest peak of the Himalayas--the medical officers here
+return them as shuttlecocks from a battledore up country, and it's a
+case of "gentlemen in khaki ordered North."
+
+We arrived here this morning early, having left Deelfontein at daybreak
+yesterday (Sunday). Ambulance carts conveyed us to the Wynberg Hospital,
+where I now am.
+
+Tuesday, 26th. Wherever I go I seem to fall fairly well on my feet and
+meet old friends. In the next room (each ward is divided into rooms,
+these are barracks in time of peace) are two fellows who were in my tent
+at Pretoria; one was half-blinded by lightning. They are rattling good
+fellows. My bed chum, the man next to me, is a man of the Rifle Brigade,
+who has lost an eye, and, again, is a ripping fine chap. This is an
+R.A.M.C. show, and everything is regimental, dem'd regimental. We have
+the regulation barrack-room cots, which have to be limbered up and
+dressed with the familiar brown blankets and sheets in apple-pie or,
+rather, Swiss roll, order. Also, the locker has to be kept very neat and
+symmetrical. To drop a piece of paper in the room would be almost
+courting a court-martial. So, whenever I have a small piece of paper to
+throw away, I roam about like a criminal anxious to conceal a corpse,
+and am often nearly driven to chewing and swallowing it, after the
+well-known method of famous heroes and criminals.
+
+[Illustration: Tommy's Spittoon.
+
+In Hospital the bed-patients whose principal pleasure in smoking seems
+to be the spitting, have recourse to the above.]
+
+I have already referred to the confounded regimentality of this place.
+The very red cross on our virgin white R.A.M.C. banner is made of red
+tape, not bunting, I am positive. It almost goes without saying that we
+have to don, and never leave off, in the daytime, the cobalt blue
+uniform and huge red tie so dear to the controllers of these
+establishments. The blue trousers are terrible things, being lined with
+some thick material and kept up by a tape at the waist. A friend of mine
+in Paget's Horse will not have them called trousers, but always alludes
+to them as leg casings.
+
+I am not quite so particular about my food as formerly, but the Imperial
+Yeomanry Hospital at Pretoria must have spoiled me. Then, again, there
+was the Deelfontein one, so I must set aside my own opinion and give you
+that of others. The food (in our ward) is little and poor; being one
+pound of bread and an ounce of butter per day for men on _full_ rations,
+accompanied at morn and eventide by a purply fluid called "tea." At
+mid-day a tin of tough meat with a potato or two is served up, for which
+we are truly thankful. Amen! As regards recreation we get plenty of
+that--airing bedding, scrubbing lockers and floors, cleaning windows,
+whitewashing, washing our plates and other tinware after our sumptuous
+repasts, general tidying up, having rows with the sergeant-major, and a
+myriad other little pastimes help to while the hours away. In full view
+of our ward is the slate-coloured gun carriage which is used for
+conveying the unfittest to their last long rest. It is kept outside of a
+barn-like building, and its contemplation affords us much food (extra
+ration) for reflection. It is often used.
+
+
+THE MYTHICAL AND REAL OFFICER.[10]
+
+         [Footnote 10: An officer, for whom I have the highest esteem,
+         whilst kindly conveying to me his very favourable opinion of
+         these "Letters," regretted the inclusion of the following
+         "grouse" in these words: "When I think of many cheery, dirty,
+         ragged, half-starved youngsters I met out there, weighted
+         into an unaccustomed responsibility for men's lives and the
+         safety of their columns, and no more their own masters than
+         you were, bravely trying to do a duty which many of them
+         really loathed, I feel it is hard that a minority of
+         'rotters' should blacken the good name of the majority."]
+
+As I pause, and ponder what else I can tell you in this letter, it
+occurs to me that I have not yet told you of the one great disillusion
+of this campaign for me and _all_ other former civilians--I mean "The
+British Officer." The few remarks which I am now going to make are
+founded on the universal opinion of all the Regular soldiers and
+Colonial and home-bred Volunteers I have met out here. I have hesitated
+to give this verdict before, because it seemed like rank heresy or a
+kind of sacrilege; but having asked every man I have come across,
+especially the Regular soldier, his estimate of this person, and always
+receiving the same emphatic reply, I feel I can now make my few remarks
+without being regarded as too hasty or ill-informed.
+
+There are officers who are real good fellows, and of these I will tell
+presently; but there are others--_heaps of others_. These latter are
+selfish, and frequently incompetent beings, without the slightest
+consideration for their men, and with a terrible amount for their dear
+selves. Talk about their roughing it! Most of these individuals have the
+best of camp beds to rest on, servants to wait on them, good stuff to
+eat, and, more often than not, whisky, or brandy to drink. And, oh, my
+sisters, oh, my brothers, when _they_ have to commence roughing it, it
+is hard indeed for poor Tommy. Many a tale have I heard of thirsty tired
+Tommies being refused their water cart in camp, as the officers required
+the water out of it for their baths.
+
+The beautiful stories, on the other hand, of the officer being troubled
+because his men were in bad case, and sharing the contents of his
+haversack or water bottle with a poor "done-up" Tommy, are generally
+pure fiction. To hear of Tommy sharing with a chum or a stranger is
+common enough. Out here one learns to appreciate the ranker more, and
+the commissioned man less. And when one comes across a good officer, how
+he is appreciated! Often when I have asked a regular what sort of
+officers he had, and received the invariable emphatic reply, he has
+stopped, and in quite a different voice, with a smile on his face, said,
+"But there was Mr. ----; now he was a _real_ gentleman." And then he has
+waxed eloquent in this popular officer's praises, relating how "he used
+to be like one of ourselves," insisted on taking his relief at digging
+trenches, came and chatted to them round their fires at night, and in
+scores of ways endeared himself to their hearts.
+
+My Rifle friend has just been telling me of such an officer, a young one
+they had, named Wilson (how he eulogised Mr. Wilson! "He was a good 'un,
+he was. A _real_ gentleman"). He died, poor fellow, up Lydenburg way.
+Then he told me of another, a Mr. Baker-Carr; of him he said, "And there
+isn't a man of us to-day who, if he was in danger, wouldn't die for
+him."
+
+As for the opinion of the Colonials of our officers, you surely know
+that. This little anecdote expresses pretty well how they stand one with
+the other:
+
+     SCENE--PRETORIA.
+
+     New Zealander, just in from trek, passing, pipe in mouth, by a
+     young officer just out.
+
+     _Officer_ (stopping New Zealander): "Do you know who I am?"
+
+     _N.Z._ (removing pipe): "No."
+
+     _Officer_: "I am an officer!"
+
+     _N.Z._: "Oh."
+
+     _Officer_: "I--am--an--officer!"
+
+     _N.Z._: "Well, take an old soldier's advice and don't get drunk
+     and lose your commission."
+
+     _Officer_: "D---- you. Don't you salute an officer when you see
+     one?"
+
+     _N.Z._ (very calmly): "D---- and dot you! It's seldom we salute
+     our own officers, so it isn't likely we'd salute you."
+
+     _Officer_: "Confound it. If you couldn't stand discipline, what
+     did you come out here for?"
+
+     _N.Z._: "To fight."
+
+     _Officer_ (moving on): "I suppose you are one of those damned
+     Colonials."
+
+
+THE R.A.M.C. SERGEANT-MAJOR, AND OTHER ANNOYANCES.
+
+That very great, august and omnipotent being, the Sergeant-Major of this
+establishment, has just been round. His motto is, I fancy, "_Veni, vidi,
+vici_." To him nothing is ever perfect, save himself. He entered,
+"Shun!" and we stood at attention by our cots. A trembling sergeant and
+orderly followed in his train. Upon us, one by one, he pounced, this
+"brave, silent (?) man" at the back. My blue fal-de-lal jacket he
+unbuttoned and revealed, horror of horrors, very crime of crimes, the
+fact that I was not wearing the monstrous red scarf which, according to
+the laws of the R.A.M.C., which alter not, must always be worn by all
+patients at all times, in life, or even in death, I presume. And
+further, a most perspiring bare chest revealed the heinous fact that I
+had omitted to put on the _thick_ flannel shirt which has to be worn
+under the coarse white cotton one. Why wasn't I wearing this article? I
+explained that I was too hot already. That did not matter a Continental.
+Where was it? I produced it from under a bed near by and managed to
+avoid putting it on in his presence, as that would have still further
+revealed that I was wearing a belt containing money, which is contrary
+to Rule No. something or other, in which it is emphatically laid down
+that all jewels, money, and valuables are to be given in to the
+staff-sergeant in charge of the pack store, who will give a receipt for
+the same, &c., and so forth. Verily the backbone of the Army is the
+non-commissioned man, but I must confess to frequently wishing to break,
+or at least dislocate, that backbone.
+
+The mosquitoes here seem rather more troublesome than their Pretoria
+relatives. There are twenty men in the next room, and only three of us
+here; and we three get a frightful lot of attention from these
+_skeeturs_. They seem vicious as well as hungry. We fancy this is to be
+explained by the fact that they had been marked down from up country for
+the base and England, and are enraged at being kept here with the
+prospect of being returned whence they came; their hunger in this
+R.A.M.C. Hospital we can understand, and would sympathise with more if
+they did not treat us as rations. Other patients have a theory that they
+are the lost and much damned spirits of R.A.M.C. officers,
+non-commissioned officers, and men, who have gone before and come back
+to their old earthly billet. But of course these are all mere surmises,
+and hardly to be regarded seriously. On Thursday I am to be sent to
+Rondebosch, Tommy's oft and ever-repeated cry, "Roll on, dear old
+Blighty" (England), seems vainer than ever as time spins out its endless
+cocoon.
+
+
+AT THE BASE.
+
+                                        MCKENZIE'S FARM,
+                                          MAITLAND (once again).
+                                            _Sunday, March 3rd, 1901._
+
+Of late my addresses have been many and varied. The above is the latest.
+I have filtered through into Maitland, which has changed considerably
+since last April. On Thursday last I left Wynberg for the convalescent
+camp at Rondebosch without any regret, for, as a matter of fact, I was
+getting hungry. On the afternoon of that day I found myself one of a
+very unselect-looking band of khaki men, parading before the terrible
+R.A.M.C. Sergt.-Major of the Wynberg Hospital.
+
+Just before parading, I saw the gun carriage, alluded to in my last,
+being used; going past our ward, in slow time, with reversed arms, went
+the perspiring and, let us hope not, but I fear 'twas so, the angry
+Tommies told off as the escort. Then came the gun carriage with its
+flag-covered burden. Only another enteric, only another broken heart or
+so at home, another vacant chair to look at and sigh, and the small but
+strictly regimental and unsympathetic procession had passed; and the
+half-interrupted conversation in the ward went gaily on. Having paraded
+and answered to our names, a doctor strolled down the ranks questioning
+us, "Are you all right?" All those who answered said "Yes." The question
+was supposed to be put individually, but by the time he got to where I
+was, the worthy man was slurring over about three or four at a time. I
+didn't trouble to reply, it being obviously unnecessary. About
+half-an-hour later, the ambulance carts came up, which were to bear us
+to Rondebosch, and we were ordered to carry our kits down and get in. So
+the halt and the broken picked up their kits--some of them were very
+heavy--and staggered with them to the carts, a distance of about fifty
+yards.
+
+In particular, I noticed one poor fellow, a gunner of the 37th Battery,
+R.F.A. A water cart had gone over him at Mafeking, and fractured three
+ribs and affected his spine. The poor, emaciated, bent figure of what
+had once been a smart soldier lifted a rather heavy kit and tottered
+towards the carts. I felt disgusted at seeing such unnecessary labour
+thrust on a man, who never should have left the hospital save to go
+home. But he had been turned out by the powers which be, and--I was
+going to say shouldn't, but the R.A.M.C. are all honourable men--when I
+saw a sprightly, well-fed R.A.M.C. Lance-Corporal walking smartly after
+him, and in a relieved voice I remarked to the man on my left: "The
+Corporal is going to carry it for him," to which my neighbour remarked:
+"He can't, he's got a stripe." And, begad, he didn't! He passed him,
+apparently not having noticed him. I shall have a little more to tell
+you of the gunner presently.
+
+The drive to Rondebosch, through Wynberg, Kenilworth and Claremont, was
+lovely beyond words. I had a box seat, and as we drove through the
+avenues of trees, down the roads, with the gardens of the
+comfortable-looking bungalows a mass of green foliage and tropical
+blooms on either side of us, I felt like a gaol-bird escaped from his
+cage. You may laugh at me if you like, but there I sat with dilating
+nostrils and eyes, absorbing all I could. Often we passed English girls
+in white costumes, and pretty, clean-looking children. It was a real
+treat. Of course, they took no notice of us. We were a common and not
+altogether pleasing looking lot, many among us being
+
+     "Poor fighting men, broke in her wars."
+
+At last the pleasant drive came to its end, and we entered the
+Rondebosch camp. I was told off with 25 others to a hut, drew bedding
+and blankets--which included bugs--had some tea at a coffee bar, looked
+about, and turned in for the night. Alas! that night and others.
+Rondebosch boasts of a dry canteen and _another_, where Tommy can obtain
+beer, oftentimes called "Glorious Beer," even as we allude to "Glorious
+War." Over the sale of this to men, fresh from the hospitals recovering
+from enteric, wounds, and so forth, there is no restriction. The result
+needs no imagination--copious libations, songs, rows, and vomitings.
+
+The next day I was put on as Orderly Sergeant. Now, if I was
+Sergeant-Major and had among my subordinate "non-coms." a man I wished
+to get into trouble, I should make him an Orderly Sergeant at
+Rondebosch. About every half-hour the bugles went "Orderly Sergeants,"
+and up I doubled. In all, I attended about a score of these summonses,
+and even then omitted to report a man who had been absent since
+_reveillé_.
+
+This last sin of omission came about in this way. I was anxious to turn
+in early and get a little sleep if possible, but could not do so, as I
+had to report "all present and correct" at tattoo. Anyhow, I strolled
+down to our hut at nine o'clock and found that the poor gunner alluded
+to already was in great pain, writhing about and groaning horribly. One
+of his chums who was with him told me he could not find a doctor, and
+the chaplain, who had looked in, had said that he could not get him even
+a drop of hot water.
+
+The poor fellow was really bad, and thought he was going out, and I
+should not have been surprised if he had. Soon a few more chums came in,
+somewhat beery, and commenced to buck him up. The great method
+apparently on such occasions is to grip the sufferer's hand very
+tightly, pull him about a good deal, punch him now and again, and tell
+him to bear up. "Stick it, mate! * * * it, you ain't going to * * * well
+die! Stick it, mate!" And there he lay, with his pals, fresh from the
+canteen, exhorting him to stick it, a poor broken Reserve man, with a
+wife and children across the seas. At last I went and, after no little
+bother, discovered an R.A.M.C. Sergeant, who found his Sergeant-Major,
+and the two came with me to our hut. The result was a mustard leaf,
+which was sent down to me to place on the sufferer. With this on the
+left side of his stomach, bugs biting, mosquitoes worrying, and comrades
+lurching in, singing and rowing, and beds collapsing, the night passed.
+The next day the doctor saw him, and he was returned to Wynberg.[11]
+
+         [Footnote 11: I met him again looking much better and in the
+         best of spirits on the _Aurania_, being invalided home.]
+
+In the afternoon we paraded and came on here. In the evening I slipped
+off to Cape Town and met a friend, with whom I dined at the "Grand."
+Having a decent dinner and amongst decently dressed people made me feel
+quite a Christian, though as a matter of fact, most of the diners
+appeared to be Jews. The sheenie man refugee is still very much in
+evidence, and though he sells things at ruinous prices (for himself, he
+says) seems to do well.
+
+Tuesday, March 6th. After being kept outside the doctor's bureau from 9
+till 12.30, the great man, the controller of fates, the donor of
+tickets, the Maitland medicine man, has seen me, and, whatever he has
+done, has not marked me for home.
+
+
+ANOTHER ALBUM!!
+
+                                        _March 9th._
+
+To weary you with a further continuation of the experiences of a forlorn
+Yeoman, who, having drifted from Pretoria, now finds himself on the
+sands of Maitland, with a distant and tantalising view of the sea and
+its ships, seems an unworthy thing to do. But, alas! I have acquired a
+terrible habit of letter-writing. News or no news, given the
+opportunity, I religiously once a week contribute to the English mail
+bag; so here goes for a really short letter.
+
+On Thursday, having endured as much toothache as I deemed expedient
+without complaint, and goaded on by a sleepless night, I paraded before
+the doctor, and having borne with him moderately and half satisfied his
+credulity, obtained from him a note to a Cape Town dentist for the
+following day. I am now in that being's hands, he has considerately
+assured me that no man is a hero to his own dentist.
+
+In Cape Town there are two topics--the town guard and the plague, known
+as bubonic; owing to the latter, great is the stink of disinfectants.
+
+I have already made allusions to the "Sisters' Albums" and the
+contributions which they levied. Here at McKenzie's Farm, I have struck
+another style of book. This is run by Sergeant-Major Fownes (10th
+Hussars) who is in charge of all of the Yeomanry at the base. It is a
+"Confession Book," containing reasons "Why I joined the Imperial
+Yeomanry" and "Why I left." It has been contributed to by members of
+nearly every I.Y. squadron in South Africa. Thanks to the courtesy of
+its owner, I am able to give you a selection from its contents, omitting
+the names and squadrons of the contributors only.
+
+
+
+
+WHY I JOINED THE YEOMANRY.
+
+
+   1. To escape my creditors.
+
+   2. Patriotism.
+
+   3. Because I was sick of England.
+
+   4. Could always ride, could always shoot,
+     Thought of duty, thought of loot.
+
+   5. "England Expects ----" (you know the rest).
+
+   6. To injure the Boers.
+
+   7. (All Excuses used up.)
+
+   8. I considered it was the right thing for an Englishman
+      to do.
+
+   9. Because I thought it was my duty.
+
+  10. A broken heart.
+
+  11. Anxiety to get to South Africa.
+
+  12. For the sake of a little excitement, which I can't get at
+      home and didn't get out here.
+
+  13. Patriotic Fever!!!
+
+  14. I did it during the Patriotic Mania, 1899-1900. Under
+      like circumstances believe I'd do it again.
+
+  15. Sudden splash of Patriotism upon visiting a Music Hall.
+
+  16. Poetry.
+
+  17. "Married in haste."
+
+  18. Because I did not bring my aged and respected father
+      up properly.
+
+  19. To kill Time and Boers.
+
+  20. Because I am Irish and wanted to fight.
+
+  21. Love of War.
+
+  22. For Sport.
+
+  23. My Country's call my ardour fired.
+
+  24. Because I was tired of the Old Country.
+
+  25. Old England's Honour, Glory, Fame,
+      Such thoughts were in my mind.
+      To die the last but not disgraced,
+      A V.C. perhaps to find.
+      To sound the charge, to meet the foe,
+      To win or wounded lie,
+      My firstborn son and I should fight
+      And, if the needs be, die.
+
+  26. Hungry for a fight.
+
+  27. Drink and Drink.
+
+  28. Vanity.
+
+  29. Because I thought:
+
+      1 'Twas a glorious life on the veldt,
+        So unrestrained and free. (_Note. Read opposite page._)
+
+      2 'Twas grand to lie 'neath the star-lit sky
+        In a blanket warm and nice.
+
+      3 'Twas exciting to gallop over the plains
+        To the music of the Mausers.
+
+      4 Bully beef and biscuits are all very well,
+        And so, for a time, is jam.
+
+  30. To have a lively time.
+
+  31. Wanted to see a little of South Africa.
+
+  32. Came out on Chance.
+
+  33. To escape the Police at home.
+
+  34. Had always preached Patriotism and thought it was the
+      time to put theory into practice.
+
+  35. Because I had nothing to do at home
+      Bar drinking whiskies and sodas alone,
+      And shooting pheasants which is beastly slow,
+      So I thought I'd give the Bo-ahs a show.
+
+  36. Thought I would get the V.C.
+
+  37. A soldier's son and a volunteer
+      Heaps of glory, bags of beer.
+
+  38. To become acquainted with Colonials before settling.
+
+  39. For adventure.
+
+  40. Northumbria's reply, "Duty."
+
+
+  WHY I LEFT.
+
+   1. The old man stumped up and I am in no danger of
+      receiving a blue paper.
+
+   2. Captured at Lindley. Too much mealie porridge and rice.
+
+   3. Because I have changed my mind.
+
+   4. Gammy leg, couldn't ride,
+      Sent to Cape Town, had to slide.
+
+   5. "Go not too often into thy neighbour's house, lest he be
+      weary of thee!"
+
+      HOSPITALS.
+
+      1. Imperial Yeomanry Field. 2. Johannesburg Civil.
+      3. No. 6 General. 4. No. 9 General. 5. No. 8 General.
+      6. Deelfontein. 7. Maitland.
+
+   6. Because they injured me.
+
+   7. Love of my native land (England).
+
+   8. I did not get enough fighting, but too much messing
+      about.
+
+   9. "FED UP!!!"
+
+  10. A broken leg (more serious and imperative).
+
+  11. Anxiety to get away from it.
+
+  12. Joined B.P.'s Police Force to still search for the
+      impossible.
+
+  13. Enteric Fever!!!
+
+  14. Ill health.
+
+  15. Bathing one day, found varicose veins much to my
+      delight. Invalided.
+
+  16. Prose.
+
+  17. "Repented at leisure."
+
+  18. To see if he has improved.
+
+  19. Because Time and Boers wait for no man.
+
+  20. Because I want to do more fighting and am joining the
+      S.A.C.
+
+  21. Love of Peace.
+
+  22. Time for close season.
+
+  23. The "Crisis" o'er, I've now retired.
+
+  24. Because I was sick of the New.
+
+  25. Alas, no Glory have I earned,
+      No Trumpet's Requiem found,
+      Altho' I've laid upon the veldt,
+      With scanty comfort round.
+      My son has seen more fights than I,
+      Tho' he is scarce fifteen,
+      Whilst I must sound my trumpet at
+      The Yeoman's Base-fontein.
+                        SERGT.-TRUMPETER (McKenzie's Farm).
+
+  26. Appetite appeased.
+
+  27. Drink and Drink.
+
+  28. Vexation of Spirit.
+
+  29. But I found:
+
+      1 That after twelve months of the same I felt
+        It was not the life for me.
+
+      2 That when you wanted to go to sleep,
+        You're scratching and hunting for l--ce.
+
+      3 That 'twas very unpleasant to ride all day
+        When you'd lost the seat of your trousers.
+
+      4 That to get nothing else for more than six months,
+        Would make any fellow say "D----!"
+
+  30. What with Mausers by day and crawlers by night. I
+      had it.
+
+  31. Have seen enough.
+
+  32. Going home to a Certainty.
+
+  33. Same reason here.
+
+  34. The Patriotic Fever has run its natural course.
+
+  35. Because the Bo-ahs shot me instead,
+      And the papers (confound them) reported me "dead,"
+      That sort of game is rather too bad,
+      So the prodigal now returns to his dad.
+
+  36. Got C.B. instead!
+
+  37. Bags of biscuits hard as rocks,
+      Smashed my teeth and gave me sox!
+
+  38. To join the Bodyguard for same reason and--_better pay_.
+
+  39. To go back to a hum-drum life, which is better than a
+      Dum-Dum death.
+
+  40. Novelty somewhat worn off, and military discipline not
+      being at all adapted to my temperament.
+
+In a few days all the men marked for home will be leaving, and to those
+they will be leaving behind them the yearning to be on the sea once
+again, seems stronger than ever,
+
+  "Can you hear the crash on her bows, dear lass,
+  And the drum of the racing screw.
+  As she ships it green on the old trail, our own trail, the home trail,
+  As she lifts and 'scends on the long trail--the trail that is always
+                                                                new?"
+
+
+HOME.
+
+                                        ENGLAND-FONTEIN
+                                         _April 22nd, 1901._
+
+  "We're goin' 'ome, we're goin' 'ome,
+    Our ship is at the shore,
+  An' you must pack your 'aversack,
+    _For we won't come back no more_."
+
+So from going up to Elandsfontein, which is by Johannesburg, it came to
+the above cheerful sentiment. And this is how it happened. An order came
+from somewhere to our doctor, who had of late so hardened his heart, to
+"invalid convalescents freely," and, to be brief, within a few days
+nearly every man at Maitland was marked for home, wore a smiling face,
+and drew warm clothes for the voyage.
+
+The next burning questions were "What boat will it be and when does she
+sail?" Needless to say, these interrogatories were answered at least
+thrice a day, and were always wide of the mark. Still, we were booked
+for home, and could afford to wait cheerfully. Our hut (No. 1),
+inhabited by the thirty best men in the camp (any man of that hut will
+tell you this assertion is correct), thereupon blossomed forth as the
+publishing and editorial offices of a camp newspaper known as the
+
+  "LATEST DEVELOPMENTS GAZETTE,"
+    WITH WHICH IS INCORPORATED
+       "THE COOKHOUSE NEWS."
+
+In this journal shipping intelligence was a speciality, and topical
+cartoons a great feature. We claimed the largest circulation in the
+camp. The various articles, stop-press news, and cartoons, were stuck on
+the walls of the hut and afforded much entertainment. Of course, B.P.
+was very unpopular in Cape Town and with us, and had to be dealt with
+severely. (Note.--Not the Mafeking man or the "worth a guinea a box"
+lot, but the Bubonic Plague).
+
+A few days before sailing I caught sight of a well-known name in the
+dread casualty list: "69th Co. I.Y., 16,424, Trooper R. Blake, (severely
+wounded, since dead). Hartebeestefontein." "Poor Blake!" He used to sing
+at our concerts on the boat coming out, at our bivouac fire when we
+indulged in an impromptu sing-song, and at Pretoria, when in the police,
+he often appeared at the various musical entertainments held in the town
+or hospitals. His mimicry of a growling or barking dog, big or small,
+was marvellous and notorious. I remember once how a fellow on one
+occasion, accustomed to Master Blake's games, on hearing a persistent
+yapping at his heels, at length said "Oh, shut up, young Blake!" and
+turned round to see a live terrier there. A verse in the last issue of
+our paper, expressed, in a humble way, every man's feelings on such
+matters.
+
+  We are leaving them behind us,
+    'Neath the veldt and by the town,
+  The men who joined and fought with us,
+    Who shared each up and down.
+  We are going home without them,
+    But our thoughts will on them dwell,
+  We shall often talk about them,
+    Good comrades all, farewell!
+
+The day before we left, the sketches and other matter were sold by
+auction, it having been previously decided to devote the proceeds of the
+sale to the last No. 1 Hut annual ball. By way of explanation, it must
+be noted that the hut had an annual ball _once a week_, "dancing
+strictly prohibited." To be explicit, the annual ball was a weekly
+dinner. The auction was a great success, a real auctioneer presiding,
+well over £10 being realised.
+
+The farewell dinner was a grand affair and very convivial. To my
+surprise I was presented with a handsome silver cigarette case by the
+so-called staff of the "L.D. News" as a token of good will and their
+appreciation of my humble efforts to relieve the monotony of camp life.
+
+The next day, Friday, March 29th, we embarked on the transport
+"Aurania," and, as the sun was setting, bade a sarcastic good-bye to
+Table Mountain.
+
+As regards the voyage home, which was accomplished in three weeks, much
+might be said, but probably little of particular interest. A transport
+is not a very luxurious affair for the common soldier, though the
+accommodation for the officers amply atones for what may be lacking for
+the ninety-and-nine, as it were. But what on earth, or sea, did it
+matter, we were going home.
+
+Good Friday was not a success, an officer committed suicide, a sergeant
+in the Royal Sussex died of dysentery, the engines broke down, and we
+had no buns. At St. Vincent we stopped two-and-a-half days to coal, and
+flew the yellow flag at the fore, being in quarantine on account of the
+Bubonic outbreak at Cape Town. In the Bay of Biscay a Yeoman comrade
+died of enteric, and was buried two days from home. Friday, the 18th, on
+a lovely spring morning, the sea being as smooth as glass, we sighted
+the cliffs of England once again.
+
+  "England, my England."
+
+Then we commenced passing shipping; a man at the tiller of a Cornish
+fishing boat waving his cap to us made it clear that we were getting
+back to our real ain folk once more. At eight in the evening we were
+lying off Netley Hospital, and taking in the proffered advice of a large
+board in a field by the waterside to eat Quaker Oats, and by twelve
+o'clock the following night I was home once again.
+
+The treking, the fighting, the guards and pickets, the hospitals are
+done with now. My small part in the game has been played, and, with a
+slight and permissible alteration, the concluding lines of a favourite
+poem must end these simple records.
+
+  "But to-day I leave the Army, shall I curse its service then?
+  God be thanked, whate'er comes after, I have lived and toiled with men!"
+
+
+BURFIELD & PENNELLS, PRINTERS, HASTINGS.
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A YEOMAN'S LETTERS***
+
+
+******* This file should be named 27765-8.txt or 27765-8.zip *******
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+<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Yeoman's Letters, by P. T. Ross</title>
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+<h1 class="pg">The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Yeoman's Letters, by P. T. Ross,
+Illustrated by P. T. Ross</h1>
+<pre>
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at <a href = "http://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre>
+<p>Title: A Yeoman's Letters</p>
+<p>       Third Edition</p>
+<p>Author: P. T. Ross</p>
+<p>Release Date: January 10, 2009  [eBook #27765]</p>
+<p>Language: English</p>
+<p>Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1</p>
+<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A YEOMAN'S LETTERS***</p>
+<br><br><center><h3 class="pg">E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, Christine P. Travers,<br>
+    and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team<br>
+    (http://www.pgdp.net)</h3></center><br><br>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p class="tn">Transcriber's note:<br>
+<br>
+Obvious printer's errors have been corrected. All
+other inconsistencies are as in the original. The author's spelling has
+been retained.</p>
+<p class="tn">The original book did not have a Table of Contents, and one has been
+created for the convenience of the reader.</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<hr class="full" noshade>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<div class="box">
+<p class="center smcap">Some Press Opinions.</p>
+
+<p><b><i>DAILY TELEGRAPH.</i></b>&mdash;'... Nothing better of this kind has yet appeared
+than "A Yeoman's Letters," by P. T. Ross.... Bright, breezy, and vivid
+are the stories of his adventures.... Corporal Ross not only writes
+lively prose, but really capital verse. His "Ballad of the Bayonet" is
+particularly smart. He is also a clever draughtsman, and his rough but
+effective caricatures form not the least attractive feature of a very
+pleasant book.'</p>
+
+<hr class="small">
+
+<p><b><i>STANDARD.</i></b>&mdash;'In "A Yeoman's Letters," Mr. P. T. Ross has written the
+liveliest book about the War which has yet appeared. Whatever amusement
+can be extracted from a tragic theme will be found in his vivacious
+"Letters." He seems one of those high-spirited and versatile young men
+who notice the humorous side of everything, and can add to the jollity
+of a company by a story, a song, an "impromptu" poem, or a pencilled
+caricature.'</p>
+
+<hr class="small">
+
+<p><b><i>SCOTSMAN.</i></b>&mdash;'The war literature now includes books of all sorts; but
+there is nothing in it more racy or readable than this collection of
+letters, what may be called familiar letters to the general public....
+In spite of its subject, there is more fun than anything else in the
+book.... But a deeper interest is not lacking to the book, either in its
+animated descriptions of serious affairs or in the substantial gravity
+which a discerning reader will see between the lines of voluble and
+entertaining talk.'</p>
+
+<hr class="small">
+
+<p><b><i>CHRONICLE.</i></b>&mdash;'Our Yeoman is a droll fellow, a facetious dog, whether
+with pen or sketching pencil, and we laughed heartily at many of his
+japes and roughly-drawn sketches.'</p>
+</div>
+
+<a id="img001" name="img001"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img001.jpg" width="400" height="562" alt="" title="">
+<p><span class="floatleft"><i>Warschawski.</i></span>
+<span class="floatright"><i>St. Leonards-on-Sea.</i></span><br>
+<span class="smcap">Corpl. P. T. Ross.</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<h1>A YEOMAN'S LETTERS</h1>
+
+<p class="center smaller p2">BY</p>
+
+<h2>P. T. ROSS</h2>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>Late Corporal 69th Sussex Company I.Y.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="p4 center">ILLUSTRATED by the AUTHOR.</p>
+
+<p class="p4 poem20">
+<span class="add7em">"And you, good Yeomen,</span><br>
+  Whose limbs were made in England, show us here<br>
+  The mettle of your pasture; let us swear<br>
+  That you are worth your breeding; which I doubt not."<br>
+<span class="left50"><i>Shakespeare.</i></span></p>
+
+<p class="p4 center small">THIRD EDITION.</p>
+
+<p class="p2 center">LONDON:<br>
+  SIMPKIN, MARSHALL, HAMILTON,<br>
+  KENT &amp; Co., LIMITED.<br>
+  1901.</p>
+
+<p class="p2 center small">PRINTED BY BURFIELD &amp; PENNELLS,<br>
+  HASTINGS.</p>
+
+<a id="toc" name="toc"></a>
+<h2>TABLE OF CONTENTS.</h2>
+
+<ul class="none toc">
+<li><a href="#sec1">FOREWORD.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec2">The Sussex Yeomanry.</a></li>
+<li>&nbsp;</li>
+<li><a href="#sec3">PART 1.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec3">On the Trek.</a></li>
+<li>&nbsp;</li>
+<li><a href="#sec3">WITH ROBERTS.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec3">The Occupation of Johannesburg.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec4">Pretoria Taken.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec5">Diamond Hill and After.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec6">Back to Pretoria.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec7">Entertaining a Guest.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec8">The Mails Arrive.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec9">The Nitral's Nek Disaster.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec10">WITH MAHON.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec10">A General Advance to Balmoral and Back.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec11">To Rustenburg.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec12">Ambushed.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec13">Heavy Work for the Recording Angel.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec14">Relief of Eland's River Garrison. Join in the great De Wet hunt.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec15">After De Wet.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec16">The Yeoman, the Argentine and the Farrier-Sergeant.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec17">Commandeering by Order.</a></li>
+<li>&nbsp;</li>
+<li><a href="#sec18">WITH CLEMENTS.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec19">Cattle Lifting.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec20">Delarey gives us a Field Day.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec21">Burnt to Death.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec22">The Infection of Spring again.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec23">Death of Lieutenant Stanley.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec24">His Burial.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec25">Promoted to Full Corporal.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec26">Petty Annoyances&mdash;The Nigger.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec27">A Wet Night.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec28">The Great Egg Trick.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec29">Our Friend "Nobby."</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec30">"The Roughs" leave us for Pretoria.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec31">The breaking up of the Composite Squadron.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec32">Life on a Kopje.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec33">Death and Burial of Captain Hodge.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec34">Camp Life at Krugersdorp.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec35">Lady Snipers at Work.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec36">Treatment of the Sick.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec37">Veldt Church Service.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec38">Comradeship.</a></li>
+<li>&nbsp;</li>
+<li><a href="#sec39">IN HOSPITAL.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec40">The Story of Nooitgedacht.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec41">Two Field Hospitals&mdash;A Contrast.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec42">Christmas in Hospital.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec43">The Career of an Untruth.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec44">The Sisters' Albums.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec45">"Long live the King!"</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec46">The Irish Fusilier's Ambition.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec47">"War without End."</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec48">Invitations&mdash;and a Concert.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec49">Our Orderly's Blighted Heart.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec50">Southward Ho!</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec51">R.A.M.C. Experiences and Impressions.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec52">The Mythical and Real Officer.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec53">The R.A.M.C. Sergeant-Major, and other annoyances.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec54">At the Base.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec55">Another Album!!</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec56">Reasons.</a></li>
+<li><a href="#sec57">Home.</a></li>
+</ul>
+
+<h2>ILLUSTRATIONS.</h2>
+
+<ul class="none">
+<li>&nbsp;<span class="ralign smaller">PAGE</span></li>
+<li>"A Hot Time!"  <span class="ralign"><a href="#img002">2</a></span></li>
+<li>"A Camp Sing-Song"  <span class="ralign"><a href="#img003">7</a></span></li>
+<li>"The Great Small Game Quest(ion)" <span class="ralign"><a href="#img004">9</a></span></li>
+<li>"The Mealie and Oat Fatigue"  <span class="ralign"><a href="#img005">23</a></span></li>
+<li>"Stable Guard"  <span class="ralign"><a href="#img006">31</a></span></li>
+<li>"A Terrible Reckoning" <span class="ralign"><a href="#img007">44</a></span></li>
+<li>"Some of the Pomp and Circumstance of Glorious War" <span class="ralign"><a href="#img008">52</a></span></li>
+<li>"A New Rig-out" <span class="ralign"><a href="#img009">58</a></span></li>
+<li>"Oliver Twist on the Veldt" <span class="ralign"><a href="#img010">65</a></span></li>
+<li>"Hate"  <span class="ralign"><a href="#img011">68</a></span></li>
+<li>"Mails Up" <span class="ralign"><a href="#img012">87</a></span></li>
+<li>"I'kona"  <span class="ralign"><a href="#img013">89</a></span></li>
+<li>"Nobby"   <span class="ralign"><a href="#img014">94</a></span></li>
+<li>"Consolation" <span class="ralign"><a href="#img015">112</a></span></li>
+<li>"On Pass"  <span class="ralign"><a href="#img016">114</a></span></li>
+<li>"A Peep at Our Domestic Life" <span class="ralign"><a href="#img017">118</a></span></li>
+<li>"Hymns and their Singers" <span class="ralign"><a href="#img018">129</a></span></li>
+<li>"A Friendly Boer Family"  <span class="ralign"><a href="#img019">141</a></span></li>
+<li>"Well, it's the best Oi can do for yez" <span class="ralign"><a href="#img020">144</a></span></li>
+<li>"Sick" and "Who said C.I.V.'s?" <span class="ralign"><a href="#img021">148</a></span></li>
+<li>"Got His Ticket"  <span class="ralign"><a href="#img022">153</a></span></li>
+<li>"The Thoughtless Sister" <span class="ralign"><a href="#img023">156</a></span></li>
+<li>"God Save the King"  <span class="ralign"><a href="#img024">159</a></span></li>
+<li>"Tommy's Spittoon"  <span class="ralign"><a href="#img025">171</a></span></li>
+</ul>
+
+<a id="sec1" name="sec1"></a>
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="pagevii" name="pagevii"></a>(p. vii)</span> FOREWORD.</h2>
+
+<p>"More khaki," sniffed a bored but charming lady, as she glanced at a
+picture of the poor Yeomanry at Lindley, and then hastily turned away to
+something of greater interest. I overheard the foregoing at the Royal
+Academy, soon after my return from South Africa, last May, and thanked
+the Fates that I was in mufti. It was to a certain extent indicative of
+the jaded interest with which the War is now being followed by a large
+proportion of the public at home, the majority of whom, I presume, have
+no near or dear ones concerned in the affair; a public which cheered
+itself hoarse and generally made "a hass" of itself many months ago in
+welcoming certain warriors whose period of active service had been
+somewhat short. I wonder how the veterans of the Natal campaign, the
+gallant Irish Brigade, and others, will be received when they return?
+"Come back from the War! What War?"</p>
+
+<p>And yet in spite of this apathy, "War Books" keep appearing, and here is
+a simple Yeoman thrusting yet another on the British Public. Still
+'twere worse than folly to apologise, for <i>qui s'excuse, s'accuse</i>.</p>
+
+<p>The present unpretentious volume is composed of letters written to a
+friend from South Africa, during the past twelve months, with a few
+necessary omissions and additions; the illustrations which have been
+introduced, are reproductions in pen and ink of pencil sketches done on
+the veldt or in hospital. The sole aim throughout has been to represent
+a true picture of the every-day life of a trooper in the Imperial
+Yeomanry. In many cases the "grousing" of the ranker may strike the
+reader as objectionable, and had this record been penned in a
+comfortable study, arm-chair philosophy might have caused many a passage
+to be omitted. But the true campaigning atmosphere would have been
+sacrificed.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="pageviii" name="pageviii"></a>(p. viii)</span> As the Sussex Squadron of Imperial Yeomanry was, in popular
+parlance, "on its own" till the end of May, the letters dealing with
+that period have been excluded. However, a brief account of the doings
+of the Squadron up to that time is necessary to give continuity to the
+story, so here it is:</p>
+
+<a id="sec2" name="sec2"></a>
+<h3>The Sussex Yeomanry.</h3>
+
+<p>The Yeomanry is a Volunteer Force, and as is generally known, was
+embodied in Great Britain during the wars of the French Revolution.
+History records that at the period named, the County of Sussex possessed
+one of the finest Corps in England. <i>Autres temps, autres m&oelig;urs</i>, and
+so from apathy and disuse the Sussex Yeomanry gradually dwindled in
+numbers and importance, until it eventually became extinct. Then came
+the dark days of November and December, in the year
+eighteen-hundred-and-ninety-nine. Who will ever forget them? And who
+does not remember with pride the great outburst of patriotism, which,
+like a volcanic eruption, swept every obstacle before it, banishing
+Party rancour and class prejudice, thus welding the British race in one
+gigantic whole, ready to do and die for the honour of the Old Flag, and
+in defence of the Empire which has been built up by the blood and brains
+of its noblest sons. The call for Volunteers for Active Service was
+answered in a manner which left no doubt as to the issue. From North,
+South, East, and West, came offers of units, then tens, then hundreds,
+and finally, thousands, the flower of the Nation, were in arms ready for
+action. The Hon. T. A. Brassey, a Sussex man, holding a commission in
+the West Kent Yeomanry, applied for permission and undertook, early in
+February, 1900, to form a squadron of Yeomanry from Sussex. The
+enlistment was principally done at Eastbourne, as were also the
+preliminary drills. We went into quarters at Shorncliffe where we
+trained until the last week in March, when early, very early, one dark
+cold morning, a wailing sleepy drum and fife band played us down to the
+Shorncliffe Station, where we entrained for the Albert Docks, London.
+There the transport "Delphic" received us, together with a squadron of
+Paget's <span class="pagenum"><a id="pageix" name="pageix"></a>(p. ix)</span> Horse (the 73rd I.Y.), and soon after noon the officers
+and troopers were being borne down the river, and with mixed feelings,
+were beginning to realise they were actually off at last. Many, alas,
+were destined never to return.</p>
+
+<p>It is more amusing than ever, now, to recall the remarks of cheerful,
+chaffing friends, who indulged in sly digs at the poor Yeomen previous
+to their departure. At that time, as now, "the end was in sight" only we
+had not got used to it. It was a common experience to be greeted with,
+"Ha, going out to South Africa! Why it'll be all over before you get
+there," or "Well, it'll be a pleasant little trip there and back, for I
+don't suppose they'll land you." Subsequent experience of troopships has
+dispelled even "the pleasant trip" illusion. Another favourite phrase,
+was "Well, if they do use you, they'll put you on the lines of
+communications." Sometimes a generous friend would confidentially ask,
+"Do you think they'll let you start?" And one, a lady, anxious on
+account of gew-gaws, observed, "Oh, I hope they'll give you a medal."</p>
+
+<p>Eventually the slow but sure S.S. "Delphic," having stopped at St.
+Helena to land bullocks for Cronje, Schiel and their friends, disgorged
+us at Cape Town. Our anxiety as to whether the war was over was soon
+allayed, and we gaily marched, a perspiring company, to Maitland Camp.
+Here amid sand and flies we began to conceive what the real thing would
+be like. An extract or two from letters written while at that salubrious
+spot may serve to give an idea of the life there:</p>
+
+<p class="quote">
+     "This place is a perfect New Jerusalem as regards Sheenies, every
+     civilian about the camp appearing to be a German Jew refugee.
+     They have stalls and sell soap, buns, braces, belts, &amp;c., and so
+     forth. Every now and again a big Semitic proboscis appears at our
+     tent door, and the question 'Does anypody vant to puy a vatch' is
+     propounded."</p>
+
+<p>Hungarian horses were drawn and quartered by our lines, and saddlery
+served out. By-the-way, I have always flattered myself there was at
+least one good thing about the 69th Squadron I.Y., they had excellent
+saddles. The first time we turned out in full marching order was a
+terrible affair, and the following may help to convey an idea of the
+<i>tout ensemble</i> of an erstwhile peaceful citizen:</p>
+
+<div class="quote">
+     <p><span class="pagenum"><a id="pagex" name="pagex"></a>(p. x)</span> "Please imagine me as an average Yeoman in full marching
+     order. Dangling on each side of the saddle are apparently two
+     small hay-ricks in nets; then wallets full, and over them a
+     rolled overcoat and an extra pair of boots. Behind, rolled
+     waterproof-sheet and army blanket, with iron picketing-peg and
+     rope, and mess-tin on top. Elsewhere the close observer mentally
+     notes a half-filled nosebag. So much for the horse, and then,
+     loaded with the implements of war, bristling with cartridges,
+     water-bottle, field-glass, haversack, bayonet and so on, we
+     behold the Yeoman. With great dexterity (not always) he fits
+     himself into the already apparently superfluously-decorated
+     saddle, and once there, though he may wobble about, takes some
+     displacing.</p>
+
+     <p>"I really must remark on the marvellous head for figures that we
+     Yeomen are expected to have. Read this. Comment from myself will
+     be superfluous.</p>
+
+     <p>"My Company number is 51.</p>
+
+     <p>"My regimental number is 16,484.</p>
+
+     <p>"My rifle and bayonet, 2,502.</p>
+
+     <p>"The breech-block and barrel of the rifle are numbered 4,870.</p>
+
+     <p>"My horse's number is 1,388.</p>
+
+     <p>"There may be a few more numbers attached to me; if so, I have
+     overlooked them."</p>
+</div>
+
+<p><i>En passant</i>, I must mention we were with our proper battalion, the
+14th, commanded by Colonel Brookfield, M.P., at Maitland. Eventually,
+thanks to the fact of his Grace the Duke of Norfolk being attached to
+our squadron, when we got the order to go up country we left the rest of
+the battalion behind at Bloemfontein, cursing, and proceeded by rail as
+far as Smaldeel, where we detrained with our horses and commenced
+treking after the immortal "Bobs."</p>
+
+<p>His Grace's servant, rather an old fellow, did not seem to particularly
+care for campaigning, and, often, dolefully regarding his khaki
+garments, would sorrowfully remark, "To think as 'ow I've served 'im all
+these years, and now 'e should bring me hout 'ere. It does seem 'ard." I
+think a pilgrimage would have been more to his liking.</p>
+
+<p>Our first experience of "watering horses" on the trek was both
+interesting and exciting, it occurred at Smaldeel.</p>
+
+<p class="quote">"The horses we proceeded to water at once; I had the pleasure of
+     taking two and of proving the proverb, <i>re</i> leading horses to the
+     water. <i>En route</i> were dead horses to the right and dead horses
+     to the left; in the water, which was black, one was dying in an
+     <span class="pagenum"><a id="pagexi" name="pagexi"></a>(p. xi)</span> apparently contented manner, while another lay within a
+     few yards of it doing the same thing in a don't-care-a-bit sort
+     of way. Regarded from five hours later, I fancy my performances
+     with the two noble steeds in my charge must have been distinctly
+     amusing to view, had anyone been unoccupied enough to watch me.
+     Vainly did I try to induce them to drink of the
+     printer's-ink-like fluid, water and mud, already stirred up by
+     hundreds of other horses. When they did go in, they went for a
+     splash, a paddle, and a roll, not to imbibe, and I had to go with
+     them a little way, nearly up to my knees, in the mud. I have
+     arrived at the conclusion that the noble quadruped is not an
+     altogether pleasant beast. Still, I suppose he has an opinion of
+     us poor mortals. In death he is also far from pleasant, as was
+     conclusively proved when night came on, and a dead one near us
+     began to assert his presence with unnecessary emphasis. Phew!
+     It's all very well saying that a live donkey is better than a
+     dead lion, but judging from my experience of dead horses, which
+     is just commencing, I should say that the dead lion would prove
+     mightily offensive."</p>
+
+<p>The water in the Free State, as a rule, was most unsatisfactory.
+Marching in the wake of an army of about 50,000 men, however, one would
+scarcely expect water to remain unstirred or unpolluted. I always found
+my tea or coffee more enjoyable when the water for it was drawn by
+somebody else. Even though that comrade would jestingly call it
+"Bovril," and unnecessarily explain that the pool it came from contained
+two dead horses and an ox.</p>
+
+<p class="noindent">One more extract and I have done.</p>
+
+<div class="quote">
+     <p>"Yesterday (Friday, May 25th) we got as far as Leeum Spruit. So
+     far they had succeeded in getting the railway in working order,
+     but there the scene was one of utter destruction, three or four
+     bridges being blown up, and the rails all twisted and sticking up
+     in the air. Hundreds of Kaffirs were at work getting things
+     straight, which to any ordinary person would seem impossible.</p>
+
+     <p>"It is a marvellous sight to see the convoys toiling in the track
+     of Roberts' army, the blown-up bridges and rails, and the
+     deserted farms. Of course, some are still inhabited. It may
+     interest linguists and admirers of Laurence Sterne to know that
+     the language of the British Army in South Africa is the same as
+     it was with our army in Flanders in Uncle Toby's days&mdash;of course,
+     allowing for an up-to-date vocabulary.</p>
+
+     <p>"Sunday, May 27th.&mdash;Up with the unfortunate early worm, as usual.
+     Our <i>reveillé</i> generally consists of a shout and a kick, as our
+     bugle is not used. It seems hard to realise that to-day is
+     Sunday, <span class="pagenum"><a id="pagexii" name="pagexii"></a>(p. xii)</span> and while the church bells at home are ringing,
+     or the service is in progress, we dirty, unshaven beings, who
+     once had part in the far-away life, are either riding or leading
+     our horses across the flat and, in many places, charred veldt,
+     past blown-up bridges, torn-up rails, convoys leisurely drawn by
+     languid oxen, demolished houses, bleached bones of oxen, horses
+     and mules, as well as the so-often-alluded-to dead beasts known
+     by Tommy as 'Roberts' Milestones,' and all that goes to
+     war&mdash;glorious war. We are making a fairly long march to-day, as
+     we hope to catch Roberts at last. Anyhow, to-night should see us
+     at the frontier&mdash;the Vaal River."<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/imgd1.jpg" width="120" height="67" alt="Decoration" title="">
+</div>
+
+<a id="sec3" name="sec3"></a>
+<h1><span class="pagenum"><a id="page001" name="page001"></a>(p. 001)</span> <span class="smcap">Part</span> I.<br>
+ON THE TREK.</h1>
+
+<h2>WITH ROBERTS.</h2>
+
+<h3>The Occupation of Johannesburg.</h3>
+
+<p class="pb_0 smcap right10">Orange Grove,</p>
+<p class="pt_0 pb_0 smcap right5">Near Johannesburg.</p>
+<p class="pt_0 right"><i>Saturday, June 2nd, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p>On Monday, May 28th, at mid-day, we reached the Vaal River, where we
+stopped and took all our superfluous kit off the horses, which left us
+with one blanket per man; were provided with four biscuits each, rations
+for two days, and so with light hearts and saddles, we forded Viljoen's
+Drift; into the Transvaal&mdash;at last! We had a long march to catch
+Roberts, but this country provides one with heaps of things to break any
+monotony that might otherwise exist, for it is ever "'Ware wire," "'Ware
+hole," "'Ware rock," or "'Ware ant hill," and now and again in the
+thick, blinding cloud of reddish dust a man and horse go down, and
+another a-top of them. Soon after dark, nearly the whole of the veldt
+around us became illuminated, reminding me of a colossal Brock's Benefit
+or the Jubilee Fleet Illuminations. As a matter of fact, the veldt was
+a-fire. The effect was really wonderful. At about ten o'clock we reached
+the main body, and being informed that Roberts was about four miles
+ahead with the 11th Division, our captain decided to bivouac for the
+night, and catch him up in the morning. After ringing our horses, we
+wandered round in the dark, and finding a convenient cart in a barn,
+soon after had a good enough fire <span class="pagenum"><a id="page002" name="page002"></a>(p. 002)</span> to cook some meat we managed
+to secure, and then, dead fagged, turn in to sleep. [Here I would fain
+mutter an aside. When I was at home, a certain jingo song was much sung,
+perhaps is still; it was entitled, "A hot time in the Transvaal
+to-night." I want to find the man who wrote that song, and get him to
+bivouac with us for a night, at this time of the year, with an overcoat
+and one blanket.] We awoke well covered with frost, and the stars have
+seldom twinkled on a more miserable set of shivering devils than we of
+the 69th Company I.Y. A nibble at a biscuit, no coffee, and we were
+after Roberts. We caught him up after about an hour's riding; the 11th
+Division was moving out as we came up. The Guards' Brigade was going
+forward on our right, and Artillery rolling forward on our left, with
+ambulance waggons, carts, and general camp equipment <span class="pagenum"><a id="page003" name="page003"></a>(p. 003)</span> joining
+in the procession. We moved smartly on, trotting past the Guards'
+Brigade, soldiers straggling on who had fallen out for one reason or
+another, or sitting by the wayside attending to sore feet, till we came
+up with the Staff. Our captain reported himself, and <i>pro tem.</i> we were
+attached to Lord Roberts' bodyguard.</p>
+
+<a id="img002" name="img002"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img002.jpg" width="500" height="456" alt="A Hot Time!" title="">
+</div>
+
+<p>After a halt for our mid-day grub (we had none, having devoured our
+biscuits and emergency rations about three hours before, for which we
+were severely reprimanded by our captain, the Hon. T. A. B.), we proceeded
+again. At last we reached a ridge, and halting there, we beheld the
+Rand, and about six miles to our left, Johannesburg. A railway station
+having been captured, with about a dozen engines and rolling stock, the
+Army bivouacked for the night. We were in a field by a farmhouse, where
+we bought some meat very cheaply, and had a good supper, which would
+have been all the better had we had bread or even the once but now no
+more despised biscuits to eat with it. The next day we received orders
+to join the 7th Battalion I.Y., so saddled up, and passing through
+Elsburg and the Rose Dip, Primrose, and other mines, joined our new
+Battalion at Germiston. The 7th I.Y. Battalion is a West Country one,
+being composed of the Devon, Dorset, and Somerset Yeomanry and has seen
+some stiff service at Dewetsdorp. In the afternoon I had the misfortune
+to go out with our troop officer and another man to find our 4th troop,
+which had been left behind as baggage guard. Us did he lose (oh, the
+Yeomanry officer!) and when it was dark, we set out to find our company
+in the great camp the other side of Elsburg. What I said about that
+officer as I stumbled over rocks, ant hills, and holes, in these, my
+cooler moments, it would not become my dignity to record. The next day,
+Thursday (my birthday) promised to be an eventful one, and was.
+Johannesburg was to be attacked if it did not surrender by ten o'clock.
+With well-cleaned rifles and tightly-girthed horses, we moved out with
+our Battalion at nine o'clock to take up our position. Our duty was to
+attack the waterworks, if there was any resistance. However, as you
+know, the place capitulated; news was brought to us that the <span class="pagenum"><a id="page004" name="page004"></a>(p. 004)</span>
+fort had surrendered, and we at once rapidly trotted up to it to take
+possession. Arrived outside, we were dismounted and marched into it, and
+drawn up in line facing the flagstaff on the fort wall. Suddenly a
+little ball was run up to the truck, a jerk and the Flag of England, the
+dear old Union Jack, was flying on the walls of the Johannesburg Fort.
+Then we cheered for our Queen, and again, when from somewhere a chromo
+of Her Gracious Majesty was produced and held aloft. Roberts' Raid had
+been successful. The Boer garrison seemed more relieved than depressed.
+Indeed, the commandant's servant gave us all the cold roast beef and
+bread that he had. Guards having been told off, and the horses picketed
+in the Police Barracks Yard, some of us had leave to go into the town. I
+was one of the fortunates. The enthusiasm of the inhabitants and their
+generous treatment of the men in khaki will be long remembered. The
+coloured population all showed great, gleaming rows of teeth, and
+ejaculated what I took to be meant for British cheers. Bread was given
+away, cigars and cigarettes forced (?) upon us, and meals stood right
+and left. A German girl, at a florist's, decorated about half-a-dozen of
+us with red, white and blue buttonholes. We were dirty and unshaven, but
+it mattered not, we were monarchs (<i>Væ Victis!</i>) and was it not my
+birthday? Into the shops we went. All were closed, but we persuaded some
+to open, and the good German Jew merchants let us commandeer within
+reason. Haversacks and pockets were filled. The actual prices of things
+were fairly high: sugar 1/6 per lb., condensed milk 2/-, golden syrup
+4/- a small tin, and so on. One of our fellows, after being well fed, was
+sent back to us loaded with boxes of briar pipes to distribute, another
+with socks and vests; others were given Kruger pennies, as souvenirs.
+And all the day, and all the night, through the streets marched our
+troops, rolled and rattled our guns, our carts and waggons. And the
+night, oh, what a night! For seven miles I struggled on in charge of our
+ammunition cart, in search of our company, picking my way out of a mass
+of bullock waggons, carts, mules, and every imaginable vehicle; men
+asking for this brigade and that division on every hand; transport
+officers cursing, conductors exhorting, and niggers yelling and cracking
+whips.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec4" name="sec4"></a>
+<h3><span class="pagenum"><a id="page005" name="page005"></a>(p. 005)</span> Pretoria Taken.</h3>
+
+<p class="pb_0 smcap right10">Within Sight of Eerstie Fabriken,</p>
+<p class="pb_0 pt_0 smcap right5">E. of Pretoria.</p>
+<p class="pt_0 right"><i>June 10th, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p>Fortunately for you in my last I left off rather abruptly in order to
+catch the post, or I should have bored you with a long account of my
+search with our ammunition cart for the company along the road to
+Pretoria from Johannesburg. For seven miles we&mdash;a comrade, myself, the
+blank Kaffir driver and mules&mdash;struggled and stumbled between long halts
+after our crowd, past waggons, carts, dhoolies, and chaises of all
+descriptions, the drivers of most of which were all inquiring for
+various divisions, brigades, battalions, companies, and such like. At
+last, at about one o'clock, having come up with the 11th Division, we
+halted and outspanned near the Guards' Brigade. At the first sign of
+daybreak I arose, and going forward about a quarter of a mile or less,
+came up with our company. The captain told me to get the mules inspanned
+and follow on. Owing to the infernal slowness of Tom, the driver, we got
+off late and had another terrible search, this time by daylight, to find
+the 7th Battalion I.Y., which at last we found camped at Orange Grove,
+about two miles from where we had bivouacked the preceding night. The
+next day (Sunday) we were looking to spending in a restful way, but this
+was not to be. We suddenly got the order to "saddle up," and forward to
+Pretoria we went. At about two in the afternoon we halted and picketed
+our horses not far from a farm. There rather a curious, though perhaps
+trivial, thing happened. Amongst the hundred-and-one little
+<i>contretemps</i> to which the Imperial Yeoman on active service is heir to,
+I had lost my nosebag on our night march from Johannesburg. This
+contained, besides the horse's feed, a tin of honey&mdash;of which I am as
+fond as any bear&mdash;and a pot of bloater paste, obtained (good word) at
+the Golden City from a "Sherman Shoe." Well, wandering in the direction
+of the farm, I came near a duck-pond and a clump of small trees, from
+which smoke was arising. My curiosity being aroused, I approached, and
+found that some Australians and Cape Boys were smoking <span class="pagenum"><a id="page006" name="page006"></a>(p. 006)</span> out
+some bees. I arrived in the nick of time, and got a helmet-full of the
+most delicious honey in the comb I have tasted for many a day. On
+Monday, June 4th, we started for what we understood was to be our last
+march to Pretoria. We had the good fortune to be in the advance party.
+Soon after starting the Duke of Norfolk's horse fell in a hole and put
+his thigh out, so he lost the fun, for it was not long before, from the
+hills ahead of us, came rap, rap, and then the rat-tat-tat-tat of a
+machine gun. We dismounted, advanced extended, and opened fire. I aimed
+at the hills, so I know I hit something. The Boers retiring, we (that is
+the battalion) occupied one kopje and then another, the dust flicking up
+in front of us. Then boom! whish-sh-sh! a cloud of red dust shot up, and
+crack! and their artillery had come into action. One shell burst
+directly over our heads, then we were told to retire to our led horses,
+which necessitated crossing a road on which their fire was directed.
+Needless to say this was not an altogether uninteresting proceeding. And
+so the game went on, our guns coming into action in grand style. We got
+in for rather a warm rifle fire once; we galloped up, dismounted, and
+advanced to the top of a kopje which was covered with rather long grass.
+Buzz-buzz-buzz went the busy bullets seeking unwilling billets. They
+came very close there, snipping the grass tops close beside us. Here
+there were casualties in several of the other companies. One of our
+fellows was shot through the leg, and Mr. Ashby was knocked on the
+waist-belt by a spent bullet or piece of shell and rendered unconscious
+for some time. Later, in galloping across an exposed space to occupy
+another kopje, the captain's horse was shot under him, as well as
+several others. I think that is more than enough of the affair; I have
+no doubt you know better what really was done than we. No waggons coming
+up that night, we had no rations nor breakfast next day, so you see we
+do the thing in style, for we had started the day at four and only had a
+pannikin of coffee and a biscuit for breakfast. The next day we heard
+that the Pretoria Forts had surrendered and the Boer Forces withdrawn,
+and the whole army advanced at last on its final march to Pretoria, and
+this humble <i>Ego</i>, who months ago at home had thought and talked of this
+great <span class="pagenum"><a id="page007" name="page007"></a>(p. 007)</span> event, and not for a moment anticipated participation in
+the same, formed a modest unit of the victorious horde. However, that
+day we (the 7th I.Y.) did not go into the capital, but camped outside of
+it. Not to be done, after we had picketed our horses, I made my way into
+a Kaffir suburb near us, and did well at a couple of stores, kept by
+German Jews, coming back with a sack of tinned edibles and some Kruger
+pennies. The next day a friend and I were lucky, and got leave into
+Pretoria. We returned to a grateful and enthusiastic troop, laden with
+quite a score-and-a-half of loaves, at six in the evening, and concluded
+a pleasant day with a high tea (very <span class="pagenum"><a id="page008" name="page008"></a>(p. 008)</span> high) and a camp-fire
+sing-song. "Chorus, gentlemen!":</p>
+
+<p class="poem10">
+  It's 'ard to sye good-bye to yer own native land,<br>
+  It's 'ard to give the farewell kiss, and parting grip of the 'and,<br>
+  It's 'ard to leave yer sweetheart, in foreign lands to roam;<br>
+  But it's 'arder still to sye good-bye to the ole folks at 'ome.</p>
+
+<a id="img003" name="img003"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img003.jpg" width="400" height="522" alt="A Camp Sing Song." title="">
+</div>
+
+<p>That night we entertained several ex-British soldier prisoners from
+Waterval.</p>
+
+<p>My horse (late of the R.H.A.), picked up at Kroonstad, is going very
+strong. He is very useful to me as a means of locomotion, but otherwise
+no good feeling exists between us, for he is the most senseless, clumsy
+brute that I have ever come across in the animal kingdom. He is always
+treading on me and doing other idiotic and annoying acts. A few days ago
+he got entangled in the picketing ropes, and on my going to his
+assistance promptly fell forward upon me (he is the biggest horse I have
+seen in any Yeomanry Company) and nearly broke my instep. I have lately
+re-christened him "Juggernaut," which I think is not an inappropriate
+name. I had not much time to spare when we went into Pretoria, but could
+not help stopping to watch a couple of regiments go through&mdash;the Derbies
+with their band and the Camerons with their pipers. It was a grand sight
+to see those dirty, ragged, khaki-clad fellows tramping past the
+Volksraad, over which the Flag was flying, and note the tired but grim
+smile of satisfaction with which they regarded it. Quite two out of
+every four infantrymen I saw limped along with feet sore from marching
+over all sorts of roads and "where there was never a road." Some were
+getting along with the aid of sticks&mdash;most, if not all, of the officers
+march with sticks.</p>
+
+<p>On Thursday, June 7th, we were still in camp outside of Pretoria, with a
+hospital, containing interesting cases of leprosy, small-pox and fever
+behind us; and about 200 yards to our left front hundreds of dead horses
+and a few vultures. At mid-day the usual unexpected thing happened, and
+it was "saddle up," and off we rode through the captured capital,
+passing Kruger's house, with the two lions outside the entrance,
+presented to him by Barney Barnato, and a group of typical old Boers
+seated at a table on the stoep. We bivouacked about six or eight miles
+east of the town, and the next morning caught up the army and <span class="pagenum"><a id="page009" name="page009"></a>(p. 009)</span>
+took our place in advance again. At mid-day we halted within sight of
+Eerstie Fabriken.<a id="footnotetag2" name="footnotetag2"></a><a href="#footnote2" title="Go to footnote 2"><span class="smaller">[2]</span></a> Some of us were having a <i>siesta</i> and others eating
+biscuits and bully beef, or smoking the pipe of peace (peace, when there
+is no peace!), when&mdash;Boom! whish-sh! over our heads, and about 100 yards
+behind us a group of horses was lost in a cloud of brown earth and dust.
+Then another and another came, and we got the order to take cover to our
+right, which was promptly obeyed. Our guns came into action, and later
+an armistice was arranged, for the convenience of Brother Boer, I
+presume, which to-day (Sunday) still continues.</p>
+
+<a id="img004" name="img004"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img004.jpg" width="400" height="410" alt="The Great Small Game Quest(ion)." title="">
+</div>
+
+<p>This morning (Sunday, the 10th) we had the first Church Parade we have
+had for a long time. The sermon was good, and from it I gathered that it
+was Trinity Sunday. <span class="pagenum"><a id="page010" name="page010"></a>(p. 010)</span> Yesterday it was a curious sight to see us
+employing our leisured ease in stripping ourselves, scratching our
+bodies, and carefully examining our shirts and underwear. A brutal
+lice(ntious) soldiery! Most of us have had quite large families of
+<i>these</i> dependent upon us; a more euphonious term for them is "Roberts'
+Scouts." Men to whom the existence of such insects was once merely a
+vaguely-accepted fact, and who would have brought libel actions against
+any persons insinuating that they possessed such things, after having
+been disillusioned of the idea that they were troubled with the "prickly
+itch," were calmly, naked and unashamed, searching diligently for their
+tormentors in their clothes as to the manner born. Being fortunate
+enough to find an officer's servant with a bottle of Jeyes', I finally
+washed both myself and clothes in a solution of it, so once again I am a
+free man, but the cry goes up "How long?" and echo repeats it. I have
+been told that the best way to get rid of these undesirable insects is
+to keep turning one's shirt inside out; by this means <i>their hearts are
+eventually broken</i>.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec5" name="sec5"></a>
+<h3>Diamond Hill and After.<a id="footnotetag1" name="footnotetag1"></a><a href="#footnote1" title="Go to footnote 1"><span class="smaller">[1]</span></a></h3>
+
+<p class="pb_0 smcap right5">Pienaarspoort.</p>
+<p class="pt_0 right"><i>Friday, June 15th, (?) 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p><i>Dolce far niente.</i> I am not certain about the spelling, or quite
+positive about its interpretation, but it means something comfortable, I
+am sure. And that is just what I am at present. I have lost the scanty
+notes on which I try to base my periodical literary outbursts, and which
+assist me to retain some hazy notion of the date and day of the week, so
+both you at home and I out here ought to feel "for this relief much
+thanks!" And the reason for all this contentment and satisfaction is
+this. We were shifted from our last camping ground yesterday afternoon,
+and have arrived here. We are here for two or three days at the least.
+That is as far as we can gather, and we "just do" hear a lot. This means
+a bit of rest from the everlasting early <i>reveillé</i>, saddling <span class="pagenum"><a id="page011" name="page011"></a>(p. 011)</span>
+up, packing up kit, and so forth. So behold me on the veldt, leaning
+against my saddle in my shirt sleeves, taking things easy, after having
+dined well on a loaf of bread well covered with tinned butter obtained
+at a store some miles back owing to my having to fall out of the ranks
+on account of a broken girth (hem!) on our march hither. The bread a
+Scotch farmer, and tenant of Sammy Marks, gave me yesterday. Of course
+you must have noted how the principal topic with us is grub, and
+probably felt contempt for us, still I assure you it is the great Army
+question. When you meet a man out here, usually the first question is
+"What sort of grub are you having?" Then, after another remark or so,
+"Seen much fighting?" Or, again, on asking a man what sort of a general
+Buller is, for instance, the reply comes pat, "A grand man&mdash;he looks
+after your rations. Feeds you well!" Still, it must be admitted it looks
+rather amusing to see a big, bearded man expectantly awaiting his share
+of condensed milk or sugar to spread on a piece of biscuit. As regards
+fighting, we have been shelled over a bit lately. I think it was last
+Monday I had to go and see if there was anybody in a small house some
+distance opposite a range of kopjes occupied by the enemy. I had to kick
+in the door, and hitch my horse to a tree. Nobody was in the house; but
+the firing got very warm while I was making my visit. On Tuesday one of
+our patrols was ambushed, and only one man returned with the news. Later
+the officer in command of the troop came in with a corporal, and we
+heard that one fellow had been severely wounded and several horses lost.
+The rest eventually straggled in. All had tales of marvellous escapes to
+tell, some had laid low in a river up to their necks in water for many
+hours, others in the long grass. Yesterday we heard that the Boers
+confessed to three killed and three or four wounded, and as our man is
+progressing favourably I don't think their ambush was a great success,
+especially as they opened fire at a hundred yards or less, a fact which
+does not speak highly for their marksmanship.</p>
+
+<p>Referring to grass, it is truly wonderful how inconspicuous our khaki is
+amidst rocks or grass. Riding along on Monday last I almost rode slap
+over some Guardsmen who were halted and lying or sitting in the grass. I
+only <span class="pagenum"><a id="page012" name="page012"></a>(p. 012)</span> became aware of their presence when about ten yards from
+them. And they all want to get home again&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+  "'Ome, and friends so dear, Jennie,<br>
+<span class="add15em">'Anging round the yard,</span><br>
+<span class="add05em">All the way from Fratton,</span><br>
+<span class="add15em">Down to Portsmouth 'Ard."</span></p>
+
+<p>Nearly every other sentence one hears out here begins with "When I get
+home&mdash;&mdash;." Had one of the Guardsmen been inclined to assist me with a
+rhyme to the tune of "Mandalay," he might have sinned thuswise:</p>
+
+<p class="poem05">
+  I'm learnin' 'ere in Afriky wot the bloomin' poet tells,<br>
+  If you've 'eard the song of "'Ome, sweet 'Ome," you won't 'eed nothin' else.<br>
+<span class="add4em">No, you won't 'eed nothin' else</span><br>
+<span class="add4em">But the English hills and dells,</span><br>
+  And the cosy house or cottage where the lovin' family dwells.<br>
+<span class="add4em">On the road to London Town,</span><br>
+<span class="add4em">Home of great and small renown,</span><br>
+  Where the bright lights gleam and glitter on the rich and on the poor.<br>
+<span class="add4em">Oh! the lights of London Town,</span><br>
+<span class="add4em">And the strollin' up and down,</span><br>
+  Where the fog rolls over everything and the mighty city's roar.<br>
+  Ship me home towards that city, where the best live with the worst,<br>
+  Where there are "Blue Ribbon" Armies, but a man <i>can</i> quench a thirst.</p>
+
+<p>This, by the way, might allude to Lord Roberts' order, by which all the
+bars are closed wherever the troops go. When I went into Pretoria not a
+bar was open.</p>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+  "'E's rather down on drink<br>
+<span class="add05em">Is Father Bobs."</span></p>
+
+<p>It is quite on the cards that we may be disbanded soon. The war is
+generally regarded as almost over, and candidates for the Military
+Police Force, which is being organised for the Transvaal and Orange Free
+State, are being sought for amongst the various Yeomanry Companies out
+here, the conditions being an optional three months' service, ten
+shillings a day pay and all found. About fifty of our company have
+volunteered, and may go into Pretoria any day now. These fifty have been
+supplied with the best horses we have amongst us, and we have not many
+now, my horse "Juggernaut," being one of the horses which had to be
+handed to the future <i>slops</i>, as the candidates are now being
+disrespectfully termed. This being the case, my future movements will be
+in the manner called "a foot slog" behind the ox-waggons.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec6" name="sec6"></a>
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page013" name="page013"></a>(p. 013)</span> <h3>Back to Pretoria.</h3>
+
+<p class="pb_0 right10 smcap">Near the Racecourse, Pretoria.</p>
+<p class="pt_0 pb_0 right5">(A Return Visit.)</p>
+<p class="pt_0 right"><i>Wednesday, June 20th, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p>"Here we are again" at Pretoria, that is, all that is left of us, for
+about fifty have joined the Military Police, others are wounded, sick,
+or missing, and the horses now in our lines number about two dozen
+moderately sound ones. All of this suggests, to minds capable of the
+wildest imaginings, a near return to England, home, and beauty. Some
+experts have actually fixed the date, which varies from within the week
+to within the next two months.</p>
+
+<p>Last Saturday (June 16th) we left Pienaarspoort in the morning, and
+marched for about five miles in an easterly direction, many of us doing
+"a foot slog," having, as I have already mentioned, surrendered our
+mounts to the policemen; the mounted men had only just unsaddled for the
+mid-day halt, and collected wood to cook coffee and in some cases ducks
+obtained from inhospitable farmers flying the white flag, an emblem of
+which the Boer has made the best use for himself times innumerable, when
+the order was heliographed from a distant kopje for the 7th Battalion
+I.V., attached to the 4th M.I., to march back to Pretoria. Then, in my
+opinion, a great event happened. We footsloggers determined to detach
+ourselves from our particular convoy and march into Pretoria, a distance
+of twenty miles or more, in addition to the four we had already tramped.
+I believe it was in my brain that this memorable (to us) march
+originated. We were certain that the mounted men would not reach the
+capital that night, as of course they had to keep in touch with the
+ox-waggons, and as we had to tramp, we determined to tramp to some
+purpose. Our goal was no cold bivouac on the hard earth outside
+Pretoria, with the usual weary waiting for the ox-waggons stuck in a
+spruit about four miles astern, but Pretoria itself, where bread and
+stores were to be obtained, a square meal at a table, and, oh! ye
+gentlemen of England, who live at home at ease, <i>a bed</i>. Imbued with
+this idea, with sloped rifle we gaily commenced our return march. Soon
+we came <span class="pagenum"><a id="page014" name="page014"></a>(p. 014)</span> upon miles upon miles of convoys with straggling
+Colonials, Highlanders, Guardsmen, C.I.V.'s, indeed, representatives of
+all branches of the service, and all parts of the Empire, one and all
+toiling in the direction of Pretoria. We started at about mid-day, and
+reached our destination, tired and famished, at seven. After the first
+ten miles, behold a string of four men, tramping with never a halt, over
+rocks and grass, through spruits, past unutterably aromatic defunct
+representatives of the equine race, and through dust ankle deep, towards
+the city of their desire. Darkness came on swiftly, as it does out here,
+and past hundreds of camp fires they limped, footsore but as determined
+as ever, though in no good temper, for this is the order of some of
+their questions and answers towards the end of their march:</p>
+
+<p>"How far off is Pretoria?"&mdash;"Three-and-a-half miles."</p>
+
+<p>"How far off is Pretoria?"&mdash;"Seven miles."</p>
+
+<p>"How far off is Pretoria?"&mdash;"Nine miles."</p>
+
+<p>"How far off is Pretoria?"&mdash;"Three miles."</p>
+
+<p>"Have you a Kruger penny?"&mdash;"No."</p>
+
+<p>After tramping another two miles:</p>
+
+<p>"How far off is Pretoria?"&mdash;"Three or four miles."</p>
+
+<p>At last we beheld lights, not camp lights, but electric lights, and
+cheered by these, we quickened our pace. Alas! they seemed to play us a
+sorry game, and mocking, Will-o'-the-Wisp-like, retreated as we
+advanced. Then, too, we cursed those once blessed electric lights.
+Finally we reached the outskirts of the town, and seeing a closed store,
+with rifle butts and threatening tones persuaded the German dealer to
+open unto us. Here, speaking personally, I disposed of over half a tin
+of biscuits and two tins of jam. <i>Note by the Way</i>: These South African
+fresh fruit jams are, I am convinced, made of the numberless pumpkins
+and similar vegetables that one sees in nearly every field, and then
+indiscriminately labelled (I nearly wrote <i>libelled</i>) "peach,"
+"apricot," "greengage," and&mdash;so help me, Roberts!&mdash;"marmalade." One of
+the manufacturers even has the audacity to boldly proclaim his preserves
+"stoneless plum and apricot";&mdash;as a matter of fact, pumpkins do not
+usually have stones.</p>
+
+<p>Finally we entered the town, where every shop was closed, but, thanks to
+the guidance of a kindly German, after about <span class="pagenum"><a id="page015" name="page015"></a>(p. 015)</span> half-a-dozen
+unsuccessful efforts we at length obtained food and shelter at a house
+called "The Albion." Oh, the pleasure of sleeping in a bed and under a
+roof after <i>æons</i> (to me) on the hard earth beneath the stars and dew!
+The next morning (Sunday) as we were breakfasting, we beheld unseen, the
+7th Battalion ride past, and later, after purchasing a few stores,
+joined them where they were camped near the now historic Racecourse. I
+omitted to mention above that as we lay in our comfortable beds that
+eventful Saturday night, we heard the rain pouring in torrents upon the
+galvanised iron roof above our heads, and grimly smiled as we thought of
+the other less fortunate officers, non-commissioned officers and men of
+the I.Y., lying out in the open, vainly trying to get shelter and
+protection under narrow waterproof sheets. Alas, we only had the laugh
+of them that night&mdash;I am writing on Friday, June 22nd&mdash;for since then we
+have had rain every night, and a fair amount in the daytime as well, and
+when it rains out here there is no compromise about it. Without tents we
+have had a "dooce" of a time. Of course, we have to improvise shelters
+with our blankets. Our place is known as "The Moated Grange,"&mdash;a trench
+having been dug round it for reasons not wholly connected with <i>Jupiter
+Pluvius</i>. Others are, or would be, known to the postman, did he but come
+our way ("he cometh not") as "No. 1 Park Mansions," "The Manor House,"
+"Balmoral," "Belle Vue," "Buckingham Palace," and "The Lodge." <i>Apropos</i>
+of something which concerns a lot of A.M.B.'s, the following may not be
+devoid of interest:</p>
+
+<p><i>Scene</i>: Any chemist's shop in Pretoria. Enter gentleman in khaki
+shrugging himself. With a scratch at his chest and side.</p>
+
+<p>"Er&mdash;have you any&mdash;er&mdash;Keating's powder?"</p>
+
+<p><i>Chemist</i>: "No, zaar, de Englis' soldiers haf bought it all. It is
+finish." (Exit gentleman in khaki, scratching himself desperately.)</p>
+
+<p>Our numbers are now considerably reduced, over half of the Battalion
+have joined the Military Police, others having taken over civil
+employment in the Post Office and Government buildings. Many who were
+not desirous of joining the Police have finally done so, thanks to the
+innumerable fatigues, pickets on the surrounding kopjes, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page016" name="page016"></a>(p. 016)</span> and
+the crowning discomforts of the rainy nights (now over, I am happy to
+say, Sunday, June, 24th). At present our particular, or unparticular,
+company, numbers twenty-one men, with five troop horses and some
+officers' chargers, all that is left of the hundred and twenty mounted
+men that left Maitland Camp in May. Does this sound Utopian? Those men
+who are anxious to obtain civil employment are allowed (or persuaded) to
+join the Police, while the authorities are exerting themselves to obtain
+berths for them at salaries ranging from £300 to £500 or more per annum.
+While nominally with the Police these men do no duties, but draw ten
+shillings a day, besides having the advantage, when it rains, of
+possessing a roof over their heads, and the pleasurable knowledge that
+their pig-headed comrades who have joined as Yeomen and elect to remain
+so to the end, are in the diminished lines about two miles out of the
+town, doing fatigues and guards innumerable, and drawing therefor the
+munificent sum of 1s. 5d. per <i>diem</i>. Every day for the last week the
+captain and officers have been asking the men if they wish to join the
+Police or would like to have civil employment found them; and the
+company has been more like a registry office than anything else I can
+think of. To-day (Sunday) we&mdash;nine of us and a sergeant&mdash;went to church
+with other detachments of the 7th I.Y. It was no open-air church parade,
+where one has to stand all through the service, but a genuine church
+with pews that we went to. It is called St. Alban's Cathedral, and is
+evidently the chief English Church in Pretoria. It was the first time we
+had been in a church since leaving Shorncliffe; the service was very
+reminiscent of a home one and exceedingly restful. The illusion was
+complete when, at the conclusion of the service, <i>a collection was
+taken</i>. Now that the rain is all over, we have had tents served out to
+us. The battalion sergeant-major came round a few days ago with "Now,
+then, you fellows, down with those <i>rabbit hutches</i> ("The Grange") and
+put these tents up." They are Boer tents, small and oblong in shape.
+Ours is very rotten, and has a big hole burnt in the top as well as a
+large rent at one end. These we have, however, patched up to our
+satisfaction and comfort. As we are here for the deuce knows how long,
+the beloved army red tape and routine is coming into vogue again.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+
+<a id="sec7" name="sec7"></a>
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page017" name="page017"></a>(p. 017)</span> <h3>Entertaining a Guest.</h3>
+
+  <p class="right10 pb_0 smcap">Horen's Nek,</p>
+  <p class="right5 pt_0 pb_0">(About 10 miles W. of Pretoria).</p>
+<p class="right pt_0"><i>Thursday, July 5th, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p>Here goes for another letter, so pull yourself together. I am here with
+twenty others of the 7th I.Y. on outlying picket, and although the
+affair began rather joylessly, we are getting on very well now. By way
+of parenthesis, it is more than passing strange that whenever I try to
+write a letter somebody always starts singing. At present, a man of the
+Dorsets is lifting his voice in anguish and promising to "Take Kathleen
+home again." He has just followed on with that mournful ballad, entitled
+"The Gipsy's Warning:"</p>
+
+<p class="poemctr">"Do not 'eed 'im, gentle strynger."</p>
+
+<p>I cannot help heeding him, but I dare not remonstrate, as he is the cook
+of our party, and in the Army, as elsewhere, <i>Monsieur le Chef</i>, be he
+ever so humble, is a power. So I will desist for the present, and resume
+this to-morrow on the top of a kopje.</p>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>Resumed.</i>)</p>
+
+<p>Every night we do guard on two of the near kopjes, and every other day I
+have to go up with a guard, to another kopje, used as an observation
+post, and look with a telescope and the nude optic, Sister Anne like,
+for "staggerers of humanity." On Sunday, the 1st, we went to church
+again. The preparations the young British Yeoman makes for church going
+out here vary considerably, like most other things, from those he is
+accustomed to make at home. Having shaved himself with the aid of the
+only piece of looking-glass possessed by the company, and a razor, which
+in days gone by would have been a valuable acquisition to the
+Inquisitorial torture chambers, washed in a bucket and brushed his
+clothes with an old horse brush, technically known as "a dandy," he
+looks like a fairly respectable tramp, and is ready to fall in with his
+comrades for the two or three miles tramp to Divine service. I had the
+pleasure of entertaining a guest at breakfast before going to kirk. He
+rode up to our cook-house fire (one always <i>says</i> cook-house and
+guard-room) to get a light for his pipe. The broad-brimmed <span class="pagenum"><a id="page018" name="page018"></a>(p. 018)</span> hat
+with the bronze badge of maple leaves and the word "<i>Canada</i>,"
+proclaimed whence he hailed. After a few minutes' conversation, I
+invited him to partake of our breakfast, and, after no little
+persuasion&mdash;he at first refused on the grounds that he would be
+depriving us of our full share&mdash;he accepted, and came and joined us. He
+seemed very reluctant to take much at first, and all through the meal,
+which consisted of mealie porridge and sugar, <i>café sans lait</i>, bread
+and jam, expressed his appreciation of our scant hospitality. He had
+joined the Military Police for three months, and was on patrol.</p>
+
+<p>"Where did he hail from?"</p>
+
+<p>"The North-West Frontier."</p>
+
+<p>"Had he ever been to England?"</p>
+
+<p>"No; but would like to, I guess."</p>
+
+<p>Here was a man who had never seen England, roughing it and fighting for
+her out here, side by side with us, the home-born; and he only one of
+many.</p>
+
+<p>"Hang it, have some more jam, old chap?"</p>
+
+<p>He told us all about the life (cow-boy) he led at home, and wished he
+could have our company at a "rounding-up," it was rare fun.</p>
+
+<p class="tb">*******</p>
+
+<p>"Now, then, turn out, and get everything packed on the waggons at once,
+and fall in in marching order!" How would you like to be awakened out of
+a comfortable sleep at 3 a.m. in the above manner? Still, we are pretty
+well accustomed to that sort of thing by now. Having fulfilled the above
+injunctions, we stood to arms for about three hours and were then
+dismissed. Some of us, I being one, were told off for the outlying
+picket we are now doing. <i>Just</i> as dinner was served up, we had to fall
+in and march off, so, despite a ravenous appetite, I had to throw the
+contents of my pannikin, which I had just filled, away, and with
+smothered curses on the usual "messing about" which the Imperial Yeoman
+always has to suffer, fell in and marched away. When we reached this
+place at about five o'clock, we found that, owing to the usual somebody
+blundering, sufficient rations had not been put on the waggons for us.
+The men we relieved seemed very unhappy and were delighted to <span class="pagenum"><a id="page019" name="page019"></a>(p. 019)</span>
+hear they were to go back. They had had one or two alarms, and had to
+retire on a fort one night. Almost immediately we were sent off to our
+kopjes, where we spend our nights. The kopjes round here are really
+horrible things: to ascend and descend them one requires legs of
+flexible iron, and the amiability and patience of Job. At night one has
+to pick and choose a little, before getting a satisfactory "doss." To
+arrange your couch you must, of course, remove all the movable stones,
+and as regards the fixtures it is strange how in a short time one's body
+seems instinctively to accommodate itself to the undulations of the
+chosen sleeping ground. It is strange also how a rock with a few
+handfuls of grass makes a fairly decent pillow.</p>
+
+<p>Near here there are numerous orange groves lying in the shelter of the
+kopjes. Yesterday I had charge of a Dutchman who wanted to go through
+the Nek on business, and on the off chance I went provided with a
+nosebag. I came across a magnificent orange grove, owned, as it proved,
+by an Englishman who had been, he told me, out here for twenty-five
+years. This Englishman sent one of his sons off to fill my bag with the
+best oranges, and another to fill my red handkerchief with mealie meal
+to make porridge with. The red-handkerchief-with-white-spots alluded to
+above is the last "wipe" I have left me out of a large number, and has
+been invaluable to me on numerous occasions for carrying various
+articles, usually edible. On the whole, the time I have spent on this
+outpost has been rather enjoyable. Having only one officer with us, and
+being a reasonable distance from headquarters, we have been spared a
+great deal of the "messing about" which seems to be the special fate of
+the Imperial Yeomen. When you get your British Yeomen home again, many a
+tale of incompetent officers and needless hardships will be retailed,
+unless I am much in error. Here is apparently a small fact, which may
+help to show <i>why</i> the Yeoman has often fared worse than his regular
+brother. The quartermaster-sergeant of a certain I.Y. company I know of,
+is, like most others, a man absolutely unaccustomed to and unqualified
+for the job. Added to this, the disposition of the man is of such a
+nervous nature that he is afraid to try and work on his own <span class="pagenum"><a id="page020" name="page020"></a>(p. 020)</span>
+initiative, and consequently when requisitioning for his company's
+rations, he not only fails to do what his regular brother non.-com.
+would do, viz.: get as much as he can for his company, but fails often
+to requisition or obtain their bare allowance. Once I met and asked this
+man if he had drawn any jam for his company's tea, and his
+sleepily-drawled reply was, "No-o, we were entitled to it, but I forgot
+to draw it." He forgot, and a hundred hungry men were dependent on the
+energy of such a man. Compare this amateur quartermaster-sergeant to the
+professional one, and you can plainly see one way in which Thomas Atkins
+scores over his Yeoman brother. Again, the two cooks of the same company
+were admittedly the slackest and dirtiest men of the lot (the only
+qualification necessary for a Yeomanry cook is the capability to boil
+water, and some seldom achieve records even in doing that). Thanks to
+their dirtiness, the thirsty troopers more often than not, had their tea
+or coffee spoilt owing to the greasy state of the dixies (cooking pots),
+which had not been cleaned after boiling the trek ox stew in them.</p>
+
+<p>I am almost baking on the top of this kopje, as I sit with my back
+against a rock and indite these little records. It seems hard to imagine
+that early every morning muffled-up, shivering forms wait anxiously for
+King Sol to stick his dear, red, blushing face above yonder range of
+kopjes to warm us with his genial presence. Yesterday we had some of
+Plumer's men in our little camp. They were rattling good fellows, and
+had had a very hot time. They assured us that when they entered
+Mafeking, so tired and gaunt were they, owing to their living on short
+commons for so long, that any stranger might well have mistaken them for
+the relieved garrison, and the garrison for the relieving force. They
+also said the fellows there did not look half so bad as one would have
+imagined, though they had eaten nearly every horse and mule in the
+place. The idea which seemed general, that Plumer had a big force with
+him, was very amusing to them, considering they actually only numbered a
+few hundreds, and had, I think they said, two old muzzle-loading guns
+only with them. Having been enlisted a month before the war, they are
+the oldest Volunteer Force out here.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec8" name="sec8"></a>
+<h3><span class="pagenum"><a id="page021" name="page021"></a>(p. 021)</span> The Mails Arrive.</h3>
+
+  <p class="smcap right10 pb_0">Near the racecourse,</p>
+<p class="right5 pb_0 pt_0">Pretoria.</p>
+<p class="right pt_0"><i>Sunday, July 8th.</i></p>
+
+<p>Back at the Racecourse, Pretoria. The excitement of Friday has not worn
+away yet. I hardly know how to describe it, especially as I must be
+brief, having such a lot of correspondence to get through. The men who
+relieved us on Friday afternoon said they had good news, and then gave
+it to us in these magic words: "<i>The mails are in!</i>" "<i>Thirteen bags!</i>"
+At first I could hardly believe or grasp it. The mails were in! I never
+expected to see a letter again. The other companies had been receiving
+their's for the last fortnight or more, but our whereabouts seemed
+unknown to the postal authorities. At last, however, we had got them. We
+had not had a word from our other world for over two months. It seemed
+over two years. The men who relieved us had come away without their's,
+but before we left for camp an officer, Mr. Cory, with bulging
+saddle-bags rode up, and they had them. We went back in the mule-waggon,
+and did not half exhort the nigger drivers to hurry, you can be sure.
+"Hi, hi! Hi-yah!! Tah!!! Nurr! <i>Crack-crack!!</i> Hamba!! Hi-yah!!!" &amp;c. At
+last the ten miles were covered and our camp reached. Out of the waggon
+we leaped, and "Where are my letters" was the cry. Oh, the thrilling
+excitement of seeing the sergeant diving his hand into a sack and
+producing letters, papers and parcels galore. "Trooper Wilson&mdash;Wilson,
+Corporal Finnigan, Lance-Corporal Ross," and a big, dirty paw pounces on
+an envelope addressed by a well-known hand. Then another, and once again
+a familiar hand is recognised, then another and another. In all I had
+over a score of letters and about a dozen or more papers, so you can
+guess I have my work before me in answering them. Of course, some have
+been lost, especially the papers. The earliest date was April 21st, and
+the latest June 8th. Absolute peace and goodwill toward men reigned in
+our camp that night. We have all been like so many children at
+Christmas-time, asking one another "How many did you get?" And then on
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page022" name="page022"></a>(p. 022)</span> hearing the reply, probably boastfully saying, "Oh! I got more
+than you," and so on. It seems so pleasant to be in touch with one's
+world again. All the next day the fellows were poring over their letters
+and ever and anon, unable to suppress themselves one would be annoyed by
+"Ha! ha!! I say, just hear what my young sister says," or "my kiddie
+brother," or some such being, then an uninteresting (to other men)
+extract would follow.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec9" name="sec9"></a>
+<h3>The Nitral's Nek Disaster.</h3>
+
+  <p class="smcap right10 pb_0">Horen's Nek,</p>
+  <p class="right5 pt_0 pb_0">Near Pretoria.</p>
+<p class="pt_0 right"><i>Wednesday, July 11th, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p class="center">(More <i>kopje?</i>)</p>
+
+<p>Here I am again on the outlying picket racket, and renewing my studies
+of kopjes. I am now up on them every day as well as night. When we
+arrived here last night, the party we relieved told us that a Russian
+doctor's house, about five miles out, had been raided and sacked by
+Boers, and no waggons were being allowed through the Nek, as the enemy
+were evidently waiting to catch any they could, and take them on to
+their commandos. Since daybreak a big action has been in progress. From
+the west heavy guns have been banging, and the fainter sound of volleys
+and pom-poming have reached our ears as we lay drowsily smoking,
+writing, reading and (one of us) watching on this, our observation post.
+In the middle of a letter to a friend a short while ago, a machine gun,
+apparently very close, rapped out its angry message, rat-tat-tat-tat!
+which startled us immensely. The whish-sh-sh of the bullets also was
+undoubtedly near, but as smokeless powder has usurped the place of
+villainous saltpetre, we failed to locate the gun, which has fired
+several times since.</p>
+
+<p>The distant firing still continues, and as Baden-Powell is (or was) in
+that direction, I should imagine he is in action. It seems curious that
+though we are here and may at any minute be involved in the affair, yet
+you at home will know all about it, and we here little or nothing. But
+so it is. <span class="pagenum"><a id="page023" name="page023"></a>(p. 023)</span> Huge vultures, loathsome black and white birds, keep
+flying past us from the west. Now and again, some of them pause and
+circle slowly over us, as if to ascertain whether we are dead or not. A
+small piece of the kopje jerked at them by the most energetic member of
+our party, usually assures them of the negative, and with a few flaps of
+their wings they go whirring on. Ugh! I forgot to mention for the
+edification of any of our lady friends that at night rats emerge from
+beneath the various rocks and sportively run over one's recumbent form.
+So, for guarding kopjes, no Amazons need apply.</p>
+
+<a id="img005" name="img005"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img005.jpg" width="500" height="429" alt="The Mealie + Bad Fatigue." title="">
+</div>
+
+<p>Here, as "I laye a thynkynge" (to quote dear old Ingoldsby), it occurs
+to me that we of the Imperial Yeomanry are, in many respects, far wiser,
+I don't say better, men than we were six months, or even less, ago. To
+commence with, we know Mr. Thomas Atkins far better <span class="pagenum"><a id="page024" name="page024"></a>(p. 024)</span> than we
+did. Now we know, and can tell our world on the best authority (<i>our
+own</i>) that he is the best of comrades, many of us having experienced his
+hospitality when in sore straits. That he will do anything and go
+anywhere we are certain. As regards ourselves, we have learnt to
+appreciate a piece of bread and a drink of water at its true worth, a
+thing probably none or few of us had done before&mdash;"bread and water"
+being usually regarded as a refreshment for the worst of gaolbirds only.
+And, finally, to sum our acquirements up roughly, we have learnt to
+shift for ourselves under any circumstances. We are hewers of wood,
+drawers of water, cooks (though, may be, not very good ones, our
+resources having been limited), beasts of burden (fatigues), and
+exponents of many other hitherto unknown accomplishments. Allusion to
+fatigues reminds me of that known as "wood fatigue." It has been a usual
+jest of those in command to halt and bivouac us for the night at some
+place where there is no wood procurable, and then send us out <i>to get
+it</i>. Another of their little jokes has been to serve each man with his
+raw meat for him to cook when wood has been unobtainable. One really
+great result of this war already is the dearth of wood wherever the
+troops have been. All along the line of march, and especially where
+there have been halts, the wooden posts used in the construction of the
+various wire fencings have been chopped down or pulled up bodily and
+taken away, deserted houses have been denuded of all the woodwork they
+contained&mdash;the tin buildings collapsing in consequence. It was only a
+short time ago that an elderly non-combatant complained to me when I
+asked if he had any wood, "No, they haf take my garten fence, my best
+trees, and yestertay dey haf go into my Kaffir's house and commence to
+pull down der wood in der roof!" I am sure it is a fortunate thing that
+the telegraph posts are of iron. Were they wooden ones I fear stress of
+circumstances would have been responsible for innumerable suspensions in
+the telegraphic service. A scout has just been in down below with the
+information that we shall be attacked to-night or early to-morrow
+morning. The machine gun which was fired a short while ago, was one of
+our Colt guns at the entrance to the Nek, getting the range of a kopje
+opposite. These scouts (I refer to the few attached to us) <span class="pagenum"><a id="page025" name="page025"></a>(p. 025)</span> are
+really wonderful (the battalion sergeant-major invariably alludes to
+them as "those d&mdash;&mdash;d scouts"). Their information is always startling
+and mostly unreliable&mdash;still it is interesting and usually affords us
+vast entertainment. The scouts referred to are Afrikanders, and really
+chosen because they know Dutch and Kaffir. The fellows will call them
+interpreters, and they don't like it. On Monday I went into Pretoria to
+take the man of ours, who was so nearly done for in an ambush near
+Hatherly last month, his kit. He is now well enough to go home. He is a
+curious, good-natured old fellow, and in his account of the affair
+amused me not a little. After he had been hit and lain on the ground
+some time, the Boers cautiously advanced from their cover, and standing
+on a bank near where he laid, fired a few shots in the direction of his
+long-since departed comrades and then called out to him, "Hands up!" His
+reply, as he told me, struck me as quaint and natural, "'Ow can I 'old
+my 'ands up?" And seeing the reasonableness of his remark, they took his
+water bottle and left him where our surgeon found him. From Pretoria I
+have acquired quite a number of books, including half-a-dozen of
+Stevenson's. At present I am re-reading his "Inland Voyage."</p>
+
+<p class="right5"><i>Thursday, July 12th.</i></p>
+
+<p>We were not attacked last night, although expectation ran high. We had
+about a thousand rounds of ammunition between the six of us, and at two
+o'clock in the morning had the various posts strengthened by a party of
+Burma Mounted Infantry (a composite corps from Burma, of Durham, Essex
+and West Riding Tommies). Fifteen of these were added to our small
+number, and between us occupied four sangars at the most suitable parts
+of the kopje. Had we been attacked, we ought to have given a good
+account of ourselves, as it was a lovely moonlight night. Poor Tommy
+Atkins! You should have heard some of our reinforcements express
+themselves on the social, military, political and geographical phases of
+the situation. They had been rushed up from Kroonstad, and, after
+various vicissitudes, had been despatched to us&mdash;without rations, of
+course. This one wished that the By'r Lady war was over By'r Lady soon;
+and his next cold, hungry, tired comrade agreed with him emphatically,
+and consigned the whole By'r Lady <span class="pagenum"><a id="page026" name="page026"></a>(p. 026)</span> country to a sort of
+perpetual Brock's Benefit; also the By'r Lady army, and their By'r Lady
+military pastors and masters, and so on. After Burma they found this
+country cold, especially the nights, and with them the British soldier's
+wish to get back to Mandalay, as expressed in the song, was a veritable
+fact. As usual, their experiences were worth listening to. Amongst other
+things, coming up from Kroonstad, they had found the burnt remains of
+the mails destroyed by some of De Wet's minions a little while ago (some
+of mine were there, I know), and had amused themselves by reading the
+various scraps. Some of these, they told me, were very pathetic. In one,
+for instance, a poor old woman had apparently sent her son a packet of
+chocolate, bought with her last shilling, (she was just going into the
+Workhouse), and she hoped that it would taste as sweet as if she had
+paid a sovereign for it. Had they had any mails? No, not since they had
+been here. They thought all their people must be dead, and "it does
+cheer one up to get a letter." In Burma they always give a cheer when
+the English mail comes in. I gave four of them some pieces of stale
+bread, a handful of moist sugar, and four oranges; while another of ours
+gave the others some bread and the remains of a tin of potted bloater.
+The latest news, which I believe is quite authentic, is that the
+remnants of the Dorset, Somerset, Devon and Sussex Yeomanry, about
+seventy in number, are to be remounted and attached to the 18th Hussars.
+This looks like more marching. I have bought, and intend bringing home
+with me, a few sets of the surcharged Transvaal stamps. I am doing this
+in a self-defensive way; my reason being that among my friends and
+acquaintances in the dear homeland I number certain strange beings
+commonly known in earlier and ruder days as stamp collectors, but now
+politely known and mysteriously designated <i>philatelists</i>. Now I know
+for a fact that these persons will, on first meeting me, demand at once,
+"Have you brought any sets of surcharged Transvaal stamps back?" and if
+I answer "Nay," what will they think of me? All the vicissitudes of the
+past few months, my travellings by land and water, my fastings and
+various little privations and experiences, will have been stupidly borne
+for naught in their opinion. And <span class="pagenum"><a id="page027" name="page027"></a>(p. 027)</span> why? Because I have not
+returned laden with Transvaal stamps.</p>
+
+<p class="smcap pb_0 right10">Pretoria.</p>
+<p class="right5 pt_0"><i>Friday, July 13th.</i></p>
+
+<p>Back in camp again. At sunset, yesterday, when we came down from the
+observation post to get a little tea, preparatory to occupying the kopje
+we had been guarding at night, we found everybody on the move, and were
+ordered to mount and clear at once. This meant rushing up to the kopje,
+getting our blankets and other impedimenta, and down again, flinging
+them on the first horse (already saddled), and dashing away, orders
+having been given to abandon the post, as the Boers were in strong
+numbers, and between us and the town sniping. A staff-officer had told
+our captain that he was in charge of the valley, and wanted it to be a
+happy valley. We being a source of anxiety, he requested us to withdraw.
+I fear it had not proved a happy valley for the Lincolns and Greys, who
+were at Nitral's Nek, some eight miles to westward of us, and had been
+attacked and suffered badly in the morning. (The explanation of the
+heavy firing already alluded to.) Near the town we came on a broken-down
+ambulance waggon in a donga, out of which the wounded were being
+assisted as well as the circumstances permitted. Close by, on the
+ground, was something under a blanket, which we nearly rode over. A man
+close by, lighting his pipe, revealed it to us. It was one poor fellow
+who had died on the way. Further on, we came on numerous pickets and
+bivouacked troops, and men of the Lincolns and Greys at frequent
+intervals, asking anxiously where the ambulance waggons were, and if any
+of their fellows were in them. On arriving here we found our horse lines
+full of remounts, which looked like business. We join Mahon's Brigade on
+Sunday, so we are very busy looking out and cleaning up saddlery and
+such like.</p>
+
+<p>Well, I do not feel in a letter-writing mood this morning, so shall as
+far as possible arrange my kit and possessions for the next move on the
+board, on which this poor Yeoman is a humble pawn. I have just finished
+the "Inland Voyage," which you may remember concludes thus, in the final
+chapter, "Back to the World":&mdash;</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page028" name="page028"></a>(p. 028)</span> "Now we were to return like the voyager in the play, and see
+what re-arrangements fortune had perfected the while in our
+surroundings; what surprises stood ready made for us at home; and
+whither and how far the world had voyaged in our absence. You may paddle
+all day long; but it is when you come back at nightfall, and look in at
+the familiar room, that you find Love or Death awaiting you beside the
+stove; and the most beautiful adventures are not those we go to seek."</p>
+
+<p>Good, isn't it?<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/imgd2.jpg" width="120" height="49" alt="Decoration" title="">
+</div>
+
+<a id="sec10" name="sec10"></a>
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page029" name="page029"></a>(p. 029)</span> WITH MAHON.</h2>
+
+<h3>A General Advance to Balmoral and Back.</h3>
+
+  <p class="pb_0 right10 smcap">Dasspoort,</p>
+  <p class="pt_0 pb_0 right5 smcap">Outside Pretoria.</p>
+<p class="pt_0 right"><i>Tuesday, July 31st.</i></p>
+
+<p>"Good morning! Have you used Pears' soap?" No, nor any other for about a
+fortnight, but in a few minutes I am going to have a most luxurious
+shave and bath in a tin teacup. As you can see by the above, we are all
+back at this historic town again after a very warm fortnight of marching
+and fighting under General Mahon. We marched through the town past
+Roberts yesterday, and are now camped awaiting remounts, in order to
+proceed with the game in some other and unknown direction. I have not
+much time for correspondence, but will do my best to give a little
+sketch of some of our doings. To begin with, on Saturday, July 14th, the
+remnants of the Dorset, Devon, Somerset and Sussex Yeomanry were formed
+into a composite squadron<a id="footnotetag3" name="footnotetag3"></a><a href="#footnote3" title="Go to footnote 3"><span class="smaller">[3]</span></a> of three troops under Captain Sir Elliot
+Lees, M.P., and served with fresh mounts&mdash;Argentines. Of course, I got a
+lovely beast, a black horse, which would not permit anyone to place a
+bit in his mouth under any circumstances. It generally takes our
+sergeant-major, farrier-sergeant, an officer's groom, a corporal and
+myself about an hour to get the aforesaid bit properly fixed. When I try
+to fix it myself with the assistance of a comrade, the performance
+usually concludes by tying him to a wheel of our ox waggon, and then,
+after many struggles, I manage to achieve my object all sublime (though
+there is not much sublimity about it). Not wanting opprobrious epithets,
+my steed remained nameless for the first week. I casually thought of
+calling <span class="pagenum"><a id="page030" name="page030"></a>(p. 030)</span> him "Black Bess," but "he" is not a mare, and I
+thought it would be inappropriate. At length I struck what I consider a
+good name. <i>Bête Noire</i>, my <i>bête noire</i>, and so I called him, and as he
+is by no means averse to eating through his head rope when picketed, I
+find that the curtailment to "gnaw" is satisfactory enough as far as
+names go. Now you know something about my friend the horse, so to
+proceed. We moved out of our old camp on the Saturday afternoon in
+question, through Pretoria to another on the other side, where we joined
+General Mahon's crowd, amongst whom was the Imperial Light Horse,
+Australians, Lumsden's Horse, New Zealanders, "M" Battery R.H.A., and a
+squadron or so of the 18th Hussars, sometimes known as "Kruger's Own,"
+being the captured warriors of Elandslaagte. On Sunday we had some good
+luck in the ration line, the 72nd and 79th Squadrons of I.Y., the
+Roughriders, had just come up and joined us, and had been served with
+innumerable delicacies, with which they did not know what to do, as they
+had orders that they could only take a certain quantity with them. No
+sooner did we hear of their embarrassment than, as the wolf swept down
+on the fold, we swept down upon them, and most sympathetically relieved
+them of tins of condensed milk, jams, and such like, and what we could
+not eat we managed to carry away with us for another day. On Monday our
+general advance commenced. It was a grand sight, after marching a few
+miles, to come on French's camp and see the lancers, mounted infantry
+and guns moving out in the early morning. A few miles on and our friend
+the enemy opened fire on us, or, rather, on a kopje on which we had just
+placed a 4.7. They sent a beautiful shot from their "Long Tom," which
+pitched within a few yards of where the gun had just been placed and
+close by Generals French and Mahon. We Mounted Infantry remained behind
+the kopje and dozed and lunched while desultory shells now and again
+whizzed over us. Beyond this, nothing occurred worth mentioning. On
+Tuesday morning we went out a few miles and took up a position to
+prevent the Boers retreating in our direction. We had to collect stones
+and form miniature sangars. We waited there nearly all day, during which
+I perused "In Memoriam," <span class="pagenum"><a id="page031" name="page031"></a>(p. 031)</span> and posed for a libellous sketch done
+by our troop officer, entitled "An Alert Vedette." The laughter which
+this occasioned caused me to arise out of curiosity and ask to see the
+pictorial effort. The subject represented was a tramp-like being asleep
+behind three or four little stones. We returned in the evening to our
+camp and I had charge of the stable guard, an every three or four night
+occurrence. The next day&mdash;Wednesday, the 18th&mdash;we proceeded some miles
+further on, getting well into the bush country. I do not know the name
+of the place we halted at for the night; it was very picturesque but had
+far too many kopjes (which required picketing). The next day we were off
+again through the bush. <i>Apropos</i> of the bush, it appears to me that
+every tree and shrub in this land of promise produces thorns. On Friday,
+the 20th, we came in touch with the enemy. We were advancing in extended
+order towards an <span class="pagenum"><a id="page032" name="page032"></a>(p. 032)</span> innocent-looking kopje, had got close up to
+it, and had just dismounted, when&mdash;rap! went a Mauser. Then another, and
+rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, and the whole show started. As there was
+absolutely no cover to hand, we got the order to mount and clear, which
+order was very promptly executed by all save one. The reports of the
+Mausers and the whistling buzz of the bullets startled my noble steed,
+<i>Bête Noire</i>, and after several ineffectual efforts to mount the brute,
+he broke away from me, and I, tripping over a mound as the reins slipped
+out of my hands, fell sprawling on my face. This, I believe, caused some
+of our fellows to think I was hit. Of course, after hurling a choice
+malediction after my horse, I was quickly on my feet and doubling after
+the rest of the "Boys of the Bulldog Breed." An officer of the Dorsets,
+Captain Kinderslie, seeing my plight, rode up amid the whistling bullets
+and insisted on my holding his hand and running by the side of his
+horse, till we came to Sergeant-Major Hunt, who had caught and was
+holding <i>Bête Noire</i>. Naturally, the reins were entangled in his
+forelegs, but I soon got them clear and mounted. Away flew my beautiful
+Argentine, away like the wind, every whistling, buzzing bullet seeming
+to help increase his bounds. At last we all got out of range, re-formed,
+dismounted, and advanced to attack. Soon the order was changed, and we
+mounted again and rode to flank the Boers, who had apparently left their
+first position. We reached a neighbouring kopje and halted at the base.
+An officer rode up, and I overheard him say that it would be advisable
+to send a few men in such and such a direction to find out, <i>with as
+small a loss as possible</i>, the position and strength of the enemy. Here
+it may not be out of place to mention that acting as scouts and advance
+parties, and drawing the fire of the enemy, has been the vocation of the
+Imperial Yeomanry, also of the Colonial Mounted Troops. Then four of us
+were ordered to ride slowly up the kopje, which was a wooded and very
+rocky one, and find out if any of the enemy were there. This we did. It
+is a peculiar feeling, not devoid of excitement, doing this sort of
+thing, for our horses made much noise and very slow progress over the
+boulders and rocks, and the possibility of a Brother Boer being behind
+any of the stones in front of one with a gun, of course made <span class="pagenum"><a id="page033" name="page033"></a>(p. 033)</span>
+one reflect on the utter impossibility of shooting him or his friends,
+or of beating a retreat. Still, the knowledge that the report of his
+Mauser would warn one's comrades below was eminently satisfactory. There
+were no Boers there, or I should hardly be inditing this letter. They
+had built sangars and left them. We were posted on this kopje for the
+rest of the day, and at night upon another.</p>
+
+<a id="img006" name="img006"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img006.jpg" width="500" height="461" alt="Stable Guard! There&quot;s a horse loose!" title="">
+</div>
+
+<p>Our artillery had shelled them during the afternoon, and they did not
+trouble us again. That night we were not allowed to have any fires and
+our position being inaccessible to the waggons, we had no hot coffee or
+tea, which by the way, is one, if not the greatest, of our treats&mdash;our
+milkless and occasionally sugarless evening and morning coffee or tea.</p>
+
+<p>On Saturday we advanced with the main body through a good deal of bush
+country. Sunday was one of the hardest days we had during our little
+fortnight's outing. We started early as advance to Ian Hamilton's
+Division, and during the day covered a terrific amount of ground, got
+well peppered on several occasions, once, during the afternoon, pushing
+on rather too close to the enemy, the retreating Boers gave us some warm
+rifle fire and then opened on us with a couple of field guns, and we had
+to clear. The firing was excellent. A few of us got into a bunch, and a
+shell whirred over our heads and struck the ground only a few yards away
+on our right. That day several men were killed and wounded, but none of
+our crowd, though one got a bullet in his rear pack, another had his
+bandolier struck, and another his hand grazed. The annoying part of our
+work was that we were repeatedly sniped at, but never had a chance to
+retaliate, even when we saw the enemy, as we did on several occasions.
+Certainly once we prepared a pretty little surprise for them in the way
+of an ambush formed of our troop dismounted, but they did not come.
+However, two or three of our fellows saw somebody by a Kaffir kraal, and
+thinking it was a Boer, opened fire, and whoever it was dropped. It
+proved only Kaffirs were there, and two men in our troop are still
+quarrelling as to which bagged the inoffensive nigger, if bagged he was.</p>
+
+<p>Monday, the eighth day out, the entire force rested, which means in
+plain English that they washed, mended <span class="pagenum"><a id="page034" name="page034"></a>(p. 034)</span> their clothes and
+performed other domestic duties. Like the man in "The Mikado," I am a
+thing of shreds and patches, though there is not much dreamy lullaby for
+me, or any of us. The next day we marched on without opposition to
+Bronkhorst Spruit, of fateful memory. We reached there at mid-day, and
+camped, as we had to wait for our convoy to come up. As soon as we had
+got our lines down we went to get wood&mdash;we like to have our own fires
+when we can. Corrugated iron buildings there were, but untenanted.
+Bronkhorst Spruit, of hated memory, was a deserted village.
+Smash!&mdash;bang!&mdash;crash!&mdash;crack! "Far flashed the red artillery," aye? No,
+it is merely Mr. Thomas Atkins and his brethren of the Colonies and
+Imperial Yeomanry, who are overcoming difficulties in the wood fatigue
+line. Considering that the average Transvaal house is constructed with
+wood and corrugated iron, it can be easily understood that neither its
+erection or demolition takes much time. "So mind yer eye,
+there&mdash;crash!&mdash;bang! That door belongs to the Sussex! Smash! Look out,
+the roof's coming down," etc.</p>
+
+<p>The convoy came in during the night, so we were up and off at an early
+hour, bound for Balmoral, the next station on the line towards
+Middelburg. The country we had to traverse was very rough, and on our
+left were ranges of suspicious-looking kopjes. Soon after we started my
+horse funked a narrow dyke at about half-a-dozen places, and finally, on
+my insisting and exhorting him with my one remaining spur, plunged
+sideways in at the deepest part. He came out first, soaked. I followed
+promptly, wet to the waist (nice black water and mud); his oats and my
+day's biscuits, which were in his nosebag, were spoilt; and my feelings
+towards him none of the best. Balmoral was reached at about noon. There,
+I regret to state, we did not have Queen's weather. Soon after we
+arrived clouds began to gather, and thoughtful men commenced carrying up
+sheets of corrugated iron, of which there was a great quantity near the
+station, and hastily constructing temporary shelters. Ours was a poor
+concern, and as I had to wander about in the rain some time before I
+turned in, I was sopping wet, and of course passed the night so. Our
+waggon got stuck in a drift, as usual, and so we went coffee-less that
+night. The <span class="pagenum"><a id="page035" name="page035"></a>(p. 035)</span> next day we heard that during the night an officer
+and three men of the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders had died from
+exposure to the severe weather. On that march from Bronkhorst Spruit to
+Balmoral we lost hundreds of mules, oxen and horses. They simply strewed
+the roadsides all the way. On Friday, the 27th, we returned to
+Bronkhorst Spruit, <i>en route</i> for Pretoria. Leaving Bronkhorst Spruit
+for Pienaarspoort the next morning, we passed the graves of the
+massacred 94th (Connaught Rangers). First we passed three walled-in
+enclosures, which the officers rode up to and looked over. They were the
+graves of the rear guard. Then we came to a larger one, which contained
+the main body. The Connaughts were marching with us; whatever their
+feelings were, they must have felt a grim satisfaction in the knowledge
+that "they came again." Yesterday (Monday, July 30th,) we marched into
+Pretoria, past Lord Roberts, and on through the town to our present
+camp, which we leave at four to-morrow morning with fresh horses. We
+heard as we went through that one of our Sussex fellows, who was down
+with enteric when we left, had since succumbed. Poor fellow! It may be
+merely sentiment, but I must say the idea of being buried out here is
+somewhat repugnant to me. His bereaved relatives and friends cannot have
+the comforting feelings of Tennyson, expressed "In Memoriam."</p>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+  "'Tis well; 'tis something; we may stand<br>
+<span class="add2em">Where he in English earth is laid,</span><br>
+<span class="add2em">And from his ashes may be made</span><br>
+  The violet of his native land.<br>
+  'Tis little; but it looks in truth<br>
+<span class="add2em">As if the quiet bones were blest</span><br>
+<span class="add2em">Among familiar names to rest,</span><br>
+  And in the places of his youth."<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec11" name="sec11"></a>
+<h3>To Rustenburg.</h3>
+
+<p class="right10 pb_0 smcap">Camp,</p>
+<p class="right5 pb_0 pt_0 smcap">Two Marches West of Pretoria.</p>
+<p class="pt_0 right"><i>Wednesday, August 8th, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+  "Oh, darkies, how de heart grows weary,<br>
+<span class="add05em">Far from de ole folks at home."</span></p>
+
+<p>There goes somebody again! It is always occurring, either vocally or
+instrumentally; but to start now, when I <span class="pagenum"><a id="page036" name="page036"></a>(p. 036)</span> want to pull myself
+together and give a further account of the doings of the remnants of
+what was once the Sussex (69th) Squadron of Imperial Yeomanry, and their
+comrades of the West Countrie, is annoying beyond all expression. To
+commence, I must really trace out for you our bewildering descent, or
+ascent, to our present state, and then you will thoroughly understand
+why, in all probability, the papers have been silent as to the doings
+and whereabouts of the 69th Squadron of Imperial Yeomanry. At Maitland
+we belonged to the 14th Battalion of Yeomanry, under Colonel Brookfield,
+M.P. Leaving that salubrious but sandy locality, we travelled on our
+very own, by rail and road, till we joined Roberts at the Klip River,
+and for a few days were his bodyguard. At Johannesburg we joined the 7th
+Battalion of Yeomanry, under Colonel Helyar, of whose murder, in July,
+at a Boer's house not far from Pretoria, you must have read. Later on,
+men from this battalion having entered the Police and civil berths,
+those of us who were left were banded together and formed into one
+squadron under Sir Elliot Lees, M.P. This was composed of three weak
+troops&mdash;Dorset, Devon and Sussex, the latter troop containing
+half-a-dozen Somerset men. As such we left Pretoria, and went east as
+far as Balmoral. On our return to Pretoria, our weak horses and sick men
+being weeded out, we went west nearly as far as Rustenburg, as one
+<i>troop</i>, composed of Sussex, Devon, and Dorset men, and attached to the
+Fife Light Horse.<a id="footnotetag4" name="footnotetag4"></a><a href="#footnote4" title="Go to footnote 4"><span class="smaller">[4]</span></a> As I write, we are returning in the direction of
+Pretoria. And now, if you have skipped the foregoing I will proceed to
+give you as brief an account as possible of our adventures since leaving
+Pretoria a week ago (Wednesday, August 1st).</p>
+
+<p>On that day, forming No. 3 Troop of the Fife Light Horse, we marched out
+of Dasspoort and proceeding due west, parallel with the Magaliesberg,
+quickly got in touch with the enemy, under Delarey, whom we slowly drove
+before us. Soon we came upon Horen's Nek, and the commencement of farms
+and orange groves. As we passed the first grove, with the glowing
+oranges tantalising us in a most aggravating manner, we cast longing
+eyes at them, but hastened on after <span class="pagenum"><a id="page037" name="page037"></a>(p. 037)</span> the unfraternal Boer. The
+oranges were not for us&mdash;then. A little further on the fighting became
+warm, and we galloped up; then, "Halt! for dismounted service!" and the
+reins of three horses are thrown at me, or thrust into my hands by their
+riders, who double out to the left and proceed to participate in the fun
+of the firing line. Considering that I had only once (at Shorncliffe)
+acted as No. 3, you can picture to yourself the sort of entertainment
+which followed. The intelligent Argentines man&oelig;uvred round me like
+performing horses doing the quadrilles or an Old English Maypole dance,
+while with the reins we made cat's-cradles, and Gordian knots. That
+idiot, Mark Tapley, would indeed have envied my lot, and have been
+welcome to it. The row made by the firing was terrific, for pom-poms and
+artillery were joining in, and a fair amount of bullets came by us with
+the led horses. Suddenly our fellows came doubling back, and with a sigh
+of relief I surrendered their horses to them. Then our troop-officer,
+Captain Kinderslie, gave us the order, "Fours, right&mdash;Gallop!" and off
+we went to turn their right flank. Our course lay right across the open,
+and as soon as the enemy saw our move they poured their fire in as hot
+as they could. Round to their right we flew, with the bullets whistling
+by, and striking the earth before and behind us, but divil a man did
+they hit, though the air seemed thick with them. At last our
+exhilarating gallop was finished, and as our small party advanced to the
+attack, all they saw was the last few Boers scuttling off for dear life.
+Colonel Pilcher, who was with Mahon, sent round and thanked our little
+troop for this service.</p>
+
+<p>After this we returned to an orange grove, near which our force was
+encamped. <i>That night we had oranges.</i></p>
+
+<p>The next day we were rear guard and, passing through a fat land,
+abounding with oranges, tangerines, citrons, lemons, tobacco and good
+water, not to forget porkers, fowls, ducks, and the like, "did ourselves
+proud," to resort to the vernacular. That night we had a huge veldt
+fire, and the whole camp had to turn out with blankets to fight it.
+Fortunately a well-beaten track separated the blazing veldt from us, and
+the wind blew it beyond, or we could hardly have made a successful stand
+against the flames, some being quite a dozen feet in height. Allusion to
+veldt fires reminds <span class="pagenum"><a id="page038" name="page038"></a>(p. 038)</span> me that the last time I had to turn out to
+fight one was near Johannesburg, and the man who displayed most energy
+in smiting the flames with his blanket, and who came away from the
+charred veldt with blackened face and hands, was our second in command,
+the Duke of Norfolk.</p>
+
+<p>On Friday we continued our advance, and crossed the Crocodile River.
+This day we saw nothing of the enemy. Our horses have done well in the
+way of forage lately. Sometimes we get bundles of oat hay out of the
+barns we visit <i>en route</i>, and strap them, with armfuls of green oats
+pulled from the fields, fore and aft of our saddles, till we look like
+fonts at harvest festivals. Thus equipped, we would form good subjects
+for a picture called "The Harvest Home." Yet, in spite of all the
+feeding they have been getting, our horses are all nearly done up.</p>
+
+<p>Our present troop officer is great on the <i>commandeer</i>, and very
+popular. However, the other day he gave us a severe address on parade
+about looting, which he wound up as follows:&mdash;"Of course, I don't object
+to your taking the necessaries of life, such as oranges, fowls, ducks,
+mealie flour, or the like, but (sternly) any indiscriminate looting I
+shall regard as a crime."<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec12" name="sec12"></a>
+<h3>Ambushed.</h3>
+
+<p>On Sunday (August 5th), while the folks at home were preparing for the
+Bank Holiday, we Yeomen of Sussex, Somerset, Dorset, Devon and Fife,
+with our friends "The Roughs," were continuing to advance west in the
+direction of Rustenburg. This day we passed through some of the best
+wooded country I have seen out here. The trees being quite large and at
+a distance very much like small oaks. At about mid-day we halted in
+front of Olifant's Nek, and our signallers tried to get into
+heliographic communication with the great "B.-P.," who was supposed to
+be in possession. At last, after several fruitless efforts, a dazzling
+dot in the pass appeared and commenced twinkling in response to ours.</p>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+  "Twinkle, twinkle, helio,<br>
+<span class="add05em">What a lot of things you know."</span></p>
+
+<p class="noindent">Soon we received the order to advance. Then we were halted, "files
+about," and galloping about a mile to the rear, were drawn up, and
+informed that a Boer laager had been <span class="pagenum"><a id="page039" name="page039"></a>(p. 039)</span> reported under a small
+kopje of the Magaliesberg some distance east from the Nek, and we were
+to go and investigate the matter. The first three groups of our troop
+were sent out to locate it, I being in the centre one. We had some
+wretched ground to go over, and finally, without any signs of
+opposition, reached the small farms lying at the foot of the range of
+hills. There the left and centre group were stopped for some
+considerable time by a large barbed wire fence and, as none of us
+possessed any wire nippers, we finally had to go out of our way some
+distance in order to avoid it. I mention this trivial incident as
+illustrative of how some Yeomanry matters of equipment have been
+neglected. From my own knowledge, based on enquiry, I find that none of
+the non-commissioned officers or men of our squadron were provided with
+these very necessary implements&mdash;one or two happened to have private
+ones, and that is all. So much for that grumble. Now to resume. Having
+overcome the barb-wire difficulty, we continued our progress in the
+direction where we understood the laager was situated, convinced in our
+minds that of Boers there were none. <i>En route</i> we called at the few
+houses in the neighbourhood and made slight investigations, with always
+the same result. There were women and heaps of children, but of men
+none. Of course, you know the game. The chivalrous Boer, having
+deposited his arms in Pretoria and taken the oath of neutrality, has
+rested himself, and is now out again on the war path, either from choice
+or through being commandeered. At last one of our scouts rode up and
+told us that our right-hand group had found the laager which had been
+evacuated. Riding through the trees, it was rather thickly wooded, we
+soon came across wandering cows, calves and oxen, and at length the
+laager at the foot of a small kopje. In it were the four men of our
+right group, cattle, horses, a few donkeys, and a couple of
+uneasy-looking niggers, who had evidently been left behind and in charge
+by the Boers. It was a fine position for a laager, and well hidden away.
+Several of us dismounted here and lighted our pipes while we watched the
+fine cattle we had got, and those with bad horses haggled as to who
+should possess the best of the Boer mounts, which were being held by the
+uncomfortable-looking Kaffirs. Presently through <span class="pagenum"><a id="page040" name="page040"></a>(p. 040)</span> a donga on
+the left of the laager came the leading groups of the Fife Light Horse
+and soon the laager contained the first troop. I remounted my horse
+and&mdash;<i>rap!</i> went a shot and over rolled a horse and rider (a Sussex
+sergeant) on my right; then into us rapped and cracked the rifles from
+the near kopje. There was only one thing to do, and that was to clear.
+Men and horses appeared to be tumbling over on all sides, <i>Bête Noire</i>
+swerved and I fell off at the commencement of the fusillade. Arising, I
+doubled after the sergeant whose horse had been knocked over by the
+first shot. After going about a score of yards, I saw him dash into some
+bushes and brambles, and following, slipped and rolled down the side of
+a gully till I found myself scratched and torn sitting in a small
+rivulet at the bottom with my pipe still in my mouth and my rifle, the
+barrel of which was half choked with mud, in my hand. Looking round I
+saw two of our fellows who had led their horses down from the other
+side. The place could not have been improved on for cover, and the
+others falling in with my <i>j'y suis, j'y reste</i> remark, we sat down on
+the moist earth and rocks and awaited developments, while the bullets
+whistled and buzzed through the trees over our heads. Soon a volley
+whizzed over us from our fellows who had succeeded in retiring and
+rallying behind a knoll some distance back. This went on for a time, and
+at length the firing ceased. A Fife man came up from lower down the
+gully; he had lost both horse and rifle. However, crawling higher up, he
+found the latter in some bushes. Presently a strange figure appeared,
+clad in khaki, with a dark blue handkerchief tied over his head, a stick
+in his hand and leading a horse. This proved to be another canny Scot.
+He had assumed this sort of disguise and managed to secure a horse from
+near the laager. He was rather apprehensive lest our own people should
+fire on him if they spotted him. As he told us, on our enquiring, that
+there were two more horses in the laager, though he advised us not to go
+out for them then, the Fife man and I emerged from the donga and with a
+wary eye on the treacherous kopjes entered the laager, which was only a
+score of yards from our place of concealment, and to my great delight,
+of the two horses quietly eating the forage there I recognised <i>Bête
+Noire</i> as one. Having now <span class="pagenum"><a id="page041" name="page041"></a>(p. 041)</span> obtained horses, we leisurely
+proceeded to camp, calling on the way at a few of the farmhouses and an
+orange grove we had passed on our advance to the laager. The Boers had
+evidently cleared, or they would have fired on us as we rode to the
+farms in full view of the kopjes all the way. I cannot say that the
+simple Boer women seemed pleased to see us when we rode up with smiling
+faces and helped ourselves (with their permission) to oranges and
+tangerines, while one good lady gave me a couple of eggs, which I
+enjoyed later for tea. Then gaily bidding them <i>Auf Wiedersehen</i> we
+retraced our way and came to where the camp had been established.
+Arrived there, the stories we heard concerning the affair were, as you
+can imagine, marvellous. And, after all, what do you think the wily Boer
+bagged as the result of such a lovely death trap? Not a man.
+Half-a-dozen horses were shot, and I daresay some cattle. My rolled
+overcoat also had a rip suspiciously like a bullet mark. Once again Boer
+wiliness had been rendered ineffectual owing to execrable marksmanship.
+It seems like ingratitude to thus criticise their shooting, but it
+cannot go without comment.</p>
+
+<p>On Monday, the August Bank Holiday, we did not shift camp, and had the
+luxury of a late <i>reveillé</i> (6 a.m.), and opportunities for very
+necessary washes and shaves, and such domestic duties as repairing rents
+in our breeches and tunics, and a little laundry work. Some of your
+"gentlemen rovers abroad" are finding that sewing the tears in one's
+tunic is a far different and more difficult matter than sowing one's
+wild oats at home. Owing to having baked the back of one of my boots in
+drying it at a fire, after my fourth immersion in a bog, I have had
+rather a bad heel, but am easier in that vulnerable part now, having cut
+out the back of the boot.</p>
+
+<p>On Tuesday, B-P. very unwillingly evacuated Rustenburg, and we marched
+back in the direction of Pretoria.</p>
+
+<p>I don't think, in spite of my verbosity, I have made any particular or
+direct allusion to our friend, the mule, so here I will make slight
+amends. Alas, he lost the little reputation he possessed at Nicholson's
+Nek, but to give the mule his due he is a hard worker&mdash;he has to be&mdash;he
+is born in bondage and dies in bondage (there is no room out here for
+the R.S.P.C.A.), and the golden autumn of a hard-lived life is not for
+the likes of him. He does not appear to get <span class="pagenum"><a id="page042" name="page042"></a>(p. 042)</span> much to eat,
+though he will eat anything, as I found to my cost one night when in
+charge of the stable guard. A friend had lent me two <i>Graphics</i>, which I
+left on my blanket for a few minutes while I went the rounds. On my
+return I found a mule contentedly eating one of them&mdash;I only just
+managed to save half of it. When in camp, the Cape Boys, in whose charge
+they are, usually tie some of them to the wheels of the waggons,
+ammunition and water carts, the remainder being left to wander tied
+together in threes and fours, reminding one for all the world of Bank
+Holiday festivallers arm-in-arm on the so-called joyous razzle dazzle.</p>
+
+<p>Out here we wandering humble builders of the Empire have no idea how the
+war is progressing, if progressing it is. Our noses are flat against the
+picture, so to speak, and, consequently, we practically see and know
+nothing; it is you good folks at home who have the panoramic view. Our
+cheerful pessimist expressed himself to this effect a few days ago.
+About forty or fifty years hence, travellers in this part of the world
+will come across bands of white-haired and silver-bearded men in strange
+garbs of ox and mule skin patches, and armed with obsolete weapons,
+wandering about in pursuit of phantasmal beings to be known in future
+legends as land Flying Dutchmen. Anyhow, give Private Thomas Atkins a
+good camp fire at night when the Army halts, round which he can
+comfortably sit and grumble about his rations, while he partakes of a
+well-cooked looted porker or fowl, and afterwards fills his pipe with
+the tobacco of the country, which he lights with an ember plucked from
+the burning, and talks of home, and the prospects, optimistic or
+pessimistic, of getting there some day, and at least, he is content. Oh,
+England, what have we not given up for thee this year, Cowes, Henley,
+the Derby, Ascot, Goodwood, the Royal Academy, the Paris Exhibition, the
+latest books and plays, all these and more&mdash;much more. And if we hadn't,
+what would we have done? Kicked ourselves, of course.</p>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+"Then here's to the Sons of the Widow,<br>
+<span class="add05em">Whenever, however they roam;</span><br>
+<span class="add05em">And all they desire, and if they require,</span><br>
+<span class="add05em">A speedy return to the home.</span><br>
+<span class="add05em">Poor beggars, they'll never see home!"</span><a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec13" name="sec13"></a>
+<h3><span class="pagenum"><a id="page043" name="page043"></a>(p. 043)</span> Heavy Work for the Recording Angel.</h3>
+
+  <p class="pb_0 right10 smcap">Vaalbank,</p>
+<p class="pt_0 right"><i>Sunday, August 12th, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p>I believe this place is called Vaalbank, though really I am by no means
+certain. Anyhow, it looks respectable to have some sort of address, so I
+will let it stand.</p>
+
+<p>Yesterday, at Commando Nek, we were rejoined by the rest of the
+Composite Squadron, and remounts were brought up from Pretoria (about
+300); on account of the latter I am glad that I did not commence this
+letter the same evening, for we Yeomanry had to lead them. The brutes
+were Hungarians and Argentines. Niggers had brought them from Pretoria,
+and then we had to take them on, while the men in need of horses toiled
+along on foot. Why they were not allotted on the day they were received
+is only accounted for by the fact of our forming part of a British Army.
+During the "telling-off" of our fellows to the various groups of sorry
+nags, a comrade known as "Ed'ard" and I loafed in rear of the squadron
+in hopes of coming last and finding no horses left. We did come last,
+but there being eleven horses over, poor Ed'ard had six and I five
+Argentines to lead, and the Recording Angel had a big job on.
+Half-a-dozen rapid type-writers on his staff would have failed to cope
+with the entries entailed by that day's work and discomfort. Some people
+boast that they can be led, but not driven. The boast of my Argentines
+was that they could be driven but not led. For about three hours I led,
+or tried to lead them, at the end of which time my right, or leading
+arm, was about four inches longer than my left, and once or twice quite
+six. This was when a ditch or some such obstacle had to be overcome. My
+own steed, having nobly negotiated it, two of the others would follow
+his excellent example, and then the remaining three would pause on the
+bank, irresolutely at first, and then quite determined not to "follow my
+lead," in fact to never "follow me," would pull back a bit. Then a
+lovely scramble would result, in which I would be hauled half-way back,
+horse and all, and my rifle, instead of remaining properly slung, would
+become excitable, and manage to hang round my neck or waist. Finally a
+fairy godmother, in the form of a dirty, unshaven Tommy Atkins <span class="pagenum"><a id="page044" name="page044"></a>(p. 044)</span>
+of the line, would come to my assistance, and with a wave of his wand&mdash;I
+mean rifle&mdash;and a thrust with the butt, my troubles for the moment would
+be overcome. At last, with my right hand cut and sore, and a temper
+which would have set the Thames a-fire, I let go the leathern thong by
+which I had been endeavouring to lead them, and started driving them.
+Other fellows also commenced to do the same, and after the brutes we
+raced, inhaling dust, expectorating mud, and cursed by every transport
+officer. Happy men, without horses to look after, were looting fowls and
+porkers, for the district was a good one; but such was not for us
+luckless Yeomen. Even when we got into camp we had to stand for nearly
+two hours in the dark, looking after the brutes till <span class="pagenum"><a id="page045" name="page045"></a>(p. 045)</span> some more
+Yeomanry, the Roughs, relieved us, I cannot help it&mdash;it's the twelfth,
+and I must <i>grouse</i>!</p>
+
+<a id="img007" name="img007"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img007.jpg" width="500" height="579" alt="A terrible reckoning!" title="">
+</div>
+
+<p>Listen to this! When at home in barracks, and on the transport, the
+orderly officer always went through the army routine of going round at
+meals and asking "Any complaints?" Now that we are campaigning, divil an
+officer asks if we have any complaints to make, or is in any way
+solicitous as to our welfare or wants. And the consequence is this: we
+are at the mercy of our quartermaster-sergeants, who are sometimes
+fools, and more often the other thing as far as we are concerned, and
+beings known by us as "the waggon crowd," <i>i.e.</i>: the cooks, and divers
+other non-combatants. What they don't want, or dare not withhold, is
+given to the poor Yeoman, who has to march, fight, and do pickets and
+guards. The man who marches and fights is the worst paid and worst
+treated out here. This, it appears, is a way they have in the army. It
+is, however, distinctly amusing to hear the <i>common</i> troopers
+proclaiming how they will get equal with their officers, especially the
+non-coms., when they meet them in the sweet by-and-bye as civilians.</p>
+
+<p>The night we stopped outside Pretoria before coming out this way, our
+curiosity was aroused by suddenly hearing three hearty British cheers
+from some lines not far from ours. On making an enquiry as to the cause
+of this outburst of feeling, we were informed that the battalion had
+just received the news that their adjutant, who was absent on leave, had
+been made a prisoner by the Boers. Of course, some officers, especially
+the Regular ones who have seen previous service, are decidedly popular,
+our present General&mdash;"Mickey" Mahon&mdash;being an instance. There is no gold
+lace or cocked hat about him. He is, in attire, probably the strangest
+figure in the campaign. Picture to yourself a square-built man of middle
+age, wearing an ordinary brown cap (not a service one), a khaki coat
+with an odd sleeve, breeches, and box-cloth gaiters, carrying a hooked
+cherrywood stick, and smoking a briar, and you have General Mahon.</p>
+
+<p>And now listen to this little story about him. A few days ago a Tommy
+was chasing a chicken near a farm on the line of march. Suddenly the
+cackling, fluttering, feathered <span class="pagenum"><a id="page046" name="page046"></a>(p. 046)</span> one dashed in the direction of
+a plainly-dressed stranger. "Go it, mate; you've got 'un!" yelled the
+excited Tommy. Then, to his horror, he recognised the general, and,
+confused, tried to apologise. "Not at all," said the chief, and helped
+him to kill the bird. Then telling him if he liked he could take it to
+his colonel and say the general had helped him to kill it, he sauntered
+away.</p>
+
+<p>His favourite corps is the I.L.H., and he seems quite pained when they
+miss an opportunity of obtaining good loot, which, once or twice they
+have done, owing to a stringent order from someone else against it.</p>
+
+<p>Routine and red tape, though probably not so bad as "once upon a time,"
+are still rampant, and we Yeomanry get our full share of them, the
+Colonials being more exempt. When we are on the march it is always
+"dress up there" or back as the case may be, and the following extract
+from a comrade's diary can be regarded as absolutely veracious.</p>
+
+<p>"August 6th. On advance party again. Tried to look for Boers and lost my
+'dressing.' Severely reprimanded."</p>
+
+<p>It appears to me that our way for locating the enemy is absurdly simple.
+We advance in approved extended order, so many horses' lengths, not more
+nor less, if any Boers are about, and we get too close to them, they pot
+at us. Then we take cover, if not bowled over; and it is generally known
+that there are Boers about.</p>
+
+<p>This (Sunday) morning, I am writing a few lines during a halt&mdash;we passed
+various farms on our way, which is in the direction of Krugersdorp. We
+are in hopes of rounding up De Wet (don't laugh!) At one of these farms,
+as we passed, a regular old Rip Van Winkle Dopper Boer was seated by his
+door scowling at us, and a trooper who had evidently been sent to ask
+for arms presently received, and rode away with <i>a sword</i>. It was really
+most amusing, probably the dear old man had three Mausers under his
+floor boards, and perhaps a bathchair was to be found somewhere on the
+premises, in which he could be conveyed to the top of a kopje now and
+again, to enjoy the pleasure of sniping the <i>verdommte Rooineks</i>, or
+their convoy as it passed along.</p>
+
+<p>Monday, August 13th. On this day we made a reconnaissance in force, but
+had no fighting. In the <span class="pagenum"><a id="page047" name="page047"></a>(p. 047)</span> evening we had to do an outlying
+picket on a near kopje, some long range and ineffective sniping going on
+as we took up our position at sunset. The waggon having been left behind
+(no unusual occurrence), we went tea-less to our night duty.</p>
+
+<p>Tuesday, August 14th. Off, without any coffee, on advance guard. As we
+moved out of camp, revolvers and rifles were banging in all directions.
+However, it was not sniping, but merely the usual killing of sick horses
+and mules. Along the road the defunct quadrupeds hummed dreadfully (if
+any tune, "The place where the old horse died").<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec14" name="sec14"></a>
+<h3>Relief of Eland's River Garrison. Join in the great De Wet hunt.</h3>
+
+<p>Wednesday, August 15th (in the vicinity of Eland's River). Another day
+without tea or coffee, and in a district lacking in wood and water. At
+about mid-day we came upon Kitchener, Methuen, and others with their
+respective forces. Colonel Hore's gallant Australians and Rhodesians had
+just been relieved. The various columns halted and camped here. That
+afternoon a couple of commandeered sheep were served out to our troop; I
+dressed one, and obtained the butcher's perquisites, viz.: the heart,
+liver and kidneys. On these, with the addition of a chop from a pig, at
+whose dying moments I was present, and a portion of an unfortunate duck,
+I made an excellent meal. That night was rather an uneasy one for me,
+for I had Eugene-Aram-like dreams in which relentless sheep chased me
+round farmhouses and barns into the arms of fierce ducks and avenging
+porkers. But <i>reveillé</i>, and then daylight came at last, and peace for
+my burdened mind and chest.</p>
+
+<p>Thursday, August 16th. Off in the direction of Olifant's Nek. At noon we
+came in contact with the scouts of the enemy who were holding the Nek.
+After being under a heavy rifle fire, we retired to camp and waited for
+the morrow. Ian Hamilton arrived in the evening with his infantry and
+cow-guns.</p>
+
+<p>Friday, August 17th. We moved out early in anticipation of a big day,
+for amongst the various rumours <span class="pagenum"><a id="page048" name="page048"></a>(p. 048)</span> was one to the effect that De
+Wet's laager was on the other side of the Nek, and Baden-Powell and
+Methuen were going to attack him from that quarter. Oh, the rumours
+about this slim individual, they are legion! Here are some of the hardy
+perennial order:</p>
+
+<ul class="none">
+<li>1. De Wet is captured at last.</li>
+<li>2. De Wet is surrounded and cannot escape. (The
+  modification brand.)</li>
+<li>3. De Wet has escaped with eleven men.</li>
+<li>4. De Wet has 4,000 men with him.</li>
+<li>5. De Wet has only 300 men with him.</li>
+<li>6. De Wet has heaps of stores and ammunition.</li>
+<li>7. De Wet has no stores, etc.</li>
+</ul>
+
+<p>This is supposed to be the dry season, but it appears to me to be De
+Wet, and our "Little British Army which goes such a very long way"
+(quite true especially here) seems like the British Police, who always
+have a clue, and expect shortly to make an important arrest, but don't.
+We took up a position on a kopje opposite to the right of the Nek, and
+for a few hours had a rare easy time. Divesting ourselves of our tunics,
+belts, bandoliers and other top hamper, we lounged about in our
+shirt-sleeves, smoking and dozing, only rousing ourselves a bit later
+when the double-rapping reports of the Mausers over the way told us that
+our scouts were being fired on. Soon the R.H.A. came into action, and
+were quickly followed by the banging of the cow-guns. It was most
+interesting to see where the shells struck, and how soon the kopjes and
+Nek opposite became blackened, smoking rock and earth, and the spiteful
+Mausers ceased from troubling. Meanwhile, the infantry, Berks and A. and
+S. Highlanders, advanced and the Nek was ours, and the Boers, De Wet's
+rearguard&mdash;vamoosed. Then we all marched through the Nek, which was a
+wonderful position, and possible of being held after the manner of
+Thermopolæ. Our Sussex farrier-sergeant was shot in the arm. Going
+through the Nek we passed three graves by the roadside&mdash;graves of Royal
+Fusiliers who had died of wounds and enteric during B.-P.'s occupation
+of the place a short time previous. A soldier's grave out here is a
+simple matter, a rude cross of wood made from a biscuit case, with a
+roughly-carved name, or perhaps merely a little <span class="pagenum"><a id="page049" name="page049"></a>(p. 049)</span> pile of
+stones, and that is all, save that far away one heart at least is aching
+dully and finds but empty solace in the <i>pro patria</i> sentiment. When one
+passes these silent reminders of the possibilities of war, it is
+impossible to suppress the thought "It might have been me!" But more
+often than not any such morbid reflections are effaced by the sight of a
+house and the chances of loot. Which reminds me that we ravaged with
+fire and sword a good deal in the vicinity of Rustenburg, numerous
+houses being set a-fire by authority&mdash;in most cases the reason being
+because the owner of the domicile had broken his oath of allegiance and
+was out again fighting us. We reached Rustenburg at about six o'clock,
+and had to go on outlying picket on a terribly-high kopje, known as Flag
+Staff Hill, at once. So just as it became dark&mdash;tired and tea-less, with
+overcoats and bundles of blankets&mdash;a little band of wearied, cussing
+Empire builders set out on their solitary vigil, with none of your
+"Won't-come-home-till-morning" jollity about them. Oh, that thrice, nay
+seventy-times-seven, execrated hill! Up it we stumbled with a compulsory
+Excelsior motto, staggering, perspiring profusely, with wrenched ankles,
+cut and sore feet, cussing when breath permitted, dropping exhausted,
+and resting now and again. Thus we ascended Flag Staff Hill. On the top
+we found strong sangars with shell-proof shelters, which had been built
+by the indefatigable Baden-Powell during his occupation of Rustenburg.
+That night passed at last.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec15" name="sec15"></a>
+<h3>After De Wet.</h3>
+
+<p>Saturday, 18th August. We set off again in the direction of Pretoria,
+and unsaddled and formed our lines at about four, and were
+congratulating ourselves on getting camped so soon when the faint but
+unmistakable cry of "saddle up" was heard afar off, then nearer and
+nearer, till we got it. De Wet (thrice magic name) was not very far off,
+and we were to push on at once after him. So off we set on a forced
+night march, on which no lights were allowed, and mysterious halts
+occurred, when we flung ourselves down at our horses' feet on the dusty
+road and took snatches of sleep. Then a rumbling would be heard, and
+down the column would come the whisper "The guns are up"&mdash;probably some
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page050" name="page050"></a>(p. 050)</span> obstacle such as a drift or donga had delayed them&mdash;then
+forward. We halted at twelve and were up again at four. The day being
+Sunday we, as usual out here, rested not, but proceeded on the warpath.
+A few miles down the road a scout passed with a Boer prisoner (Hurrah!
+one Boer less!). Leaving the Pretoria road soon after daybreak, we made
+for some low-lying ranges of hills, known as the Zwart Kopjes, and after
+going forward a couple of miles our guns, M Battery, trotted smartly
+forward in line, halted, then like wasps cut off at the waists, the fore
+parts flew away leaving the stings behind. In plain military words, the
+R.H.A. unlimbered, busy gunners laid their pets, others ran back for
+ammunition, an officer gave directions, then a roll of smoke, a flash, a
+cracking bang, a gun runs back, and intently-watching eyes presently see
+a small cloud of smoke over the top of a distant kopje, and a faint,
+far-away crack announces that the well-timed shrapnel is searching the
+rocky ridges; then bang, bang! bang, bang! and the rest quickly follow,
+firing in turn and now and again in twos or threes. Then it's "limber
+up" and forward, and their attention is paid to another little range
+further on. Soon, having cleared several kopjes, we, the Fife Light
+Horse, New Zealanders, our Composite Squadron, and others, crossed a
+drift and leisurely advanced, passing on our way a deserted Boer waggon
+loaded with corn, mealies and other stuff. At a farmhouse we naturally
+managed to halt, and tried to secure edibles. Colonel Pilcher, however,
+came and ordered us to form up in a field further on, and as we
+proceeded to obey this order, Mausers began rapping out at us from a
+range of hills which we had supposed (usual fallacy!) were unoccupied,
+our guns having shelled them well. Thereupon the colonel immediately
+told us to retire behind the farmhouse and outbuildings with the horses.
+I soon found myself lying behind a low bank with Lieutenant Stanley, of
+the Somerset Yeomanry, on one side of me and a New Zealander the other,
+blazing away in response to B'rer Boer opposite. My Colonial neighbour's
+carbine got jammed somehow or other, and his disgust was expressed in
+true military style, for the keenness of the New Zealander is wonderful.
+One of our pom-poms and M Battery joining in, after a time the firing
+slackened, and chancing to look round <span class="pagenum"><a id="page051" name="page051"></a>(p. 051)</span> at the side of the
+farmhouse, I beheld two of our fellows helping themselves to some
+chicken from a three-legged iron pot over a smouldering fire. Thereupon,
+I promptly quitted the firing line, and joined in the unexpected meal.
+It was awfully good, I assure you. While finishing the fowl, a New
+Zealander, pale-faced, with a wound in his throat and another in his
+hand, was brought in by two comrades, and a horse, which had been shot,
+died within a few yards of us. I am sorry to say that in this little
+affair we lost an officer and a trooper killed, and several wounded, not
+to mention a considerable amount of killed and wounded horses.</p>
+
+<p>The next day we advanced under a heavy fire from our guns, but met with
+no opposition. Our objective this time was the Zoutpan District, which
+is principally composed of bush veldt.</p>
+
+<p>Here I must pause, and give a veracious account of a certain not
+uninteresting episode, which happened during our march after De Wet in
+the Zoutpan District, and which I will call<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec16" name="sec16"></a>
+<h3>The Yeoman, the Argentine and the Farrier-Sergeant.</h3>
+
+<p>On Tuesday, August the 22nd, we were advance guard through the bush
+veldt, and shortly after starting, <i>Bête Noire</i>, who had gradually been
+failing, gave out, so behold me, alone to all intents and purposes,
+bushed. Of course I immediately took careful bearings, and assuming that
+we should not be changing direction, slowly marched straight ahead.
+After going a considerable distance I got on to a small track, and
+finally, what might be termed by courtesy, a road, and was carefully
+studying it when one of our sergeants and a staff officer rode up. I
+told the latter that my horse was done, and the noble steed bore out my
+statement by collapsing under me as I spoke. The officer advised me to
+wait for the main body and lead my horse on after them, which I did,
+dragging him along for about a dozen weary miles, till I reached the
+camp at dark, just in time to participate in a lovely outlying picket.
+The next morning, having reported the case to the sergeant-major, he
+told me to lead the horse from the camp with the <span class="pagenum"><a id="page052" name="page052"></a>(p. 052)</span> convoy, and
+instructed the farrier-sergeant to shoot him a little way out. So,
+having put my saddle on our waggon and asked the farrier if he had been
+told about the shooting, I proceeded to drag the poor beggar along.
+After toiling forward some considerable distance, I looked around for
+the man whose duty it was to shoot him, but could see him nowhere. So on
+I pushed, inquiring of everybody, "Where is the Farrier-Sergeant?" I
+lagged behind for him, and then toiled, perspiring and ankle deep in
+dust, ahead for him, but found him not. Even during the mid-day halt I
+could not find him, and as the beast had fallen once, I was getting sick
+of it. Everybody I accosted advised me to shoot the brute myself, the
+same as other fellows did in most of the Colonial corps, so at length,
+to cut this part of the story short, giving up all hope of being
+relieved of my burden by <span class="pagenum"><a id="page053" name="page053"></a>(p. 053)</span> the farrier-sergeant, who somewhere
+was ambling along comfortably on a good horse&mdash;having again had the
+sorry steed fall&mdash;I led him aside from the track of the convoy and ended
+his South African career with my revolver. Alas, <i>Bête Noire!</i> Had we
+but understood one another better the parting would have been a sad one.
+The case being otherwise, I felt, it must be admitted, no regret
+whatever. And now the interesting part of the episode begins. Hearing my
+shots (I am sorry to say I fired more than once in accomplishing my fell
+deed) the farrier-sergeant galloped up. "Who gave you permission to
+shoot this horse?" "Nobody; I couldn't find you, and couldn't lug the
+brute any further." "I shall report you." "I don't care." Then followed
+high words, involving bitter personalities and we parted. After tramping
+a good dozen miles further, I arrived at our camp in the dark, and had
+the luck to find our lines soon. To an interested and sympathetic group
+of comrades I related in full my adventures. Our sergeant-major, who is
+a very good sort, was telling me that it would be all right, when the
+regimental sergeant-major came up and told me that he must put me under
+arrest for shooting my horse without permission, destroying Government
+property (Article 301754, Par. 703, or something like that). There was
+none of the pomp about the affair which I should have liked to see&mdash;no
+chains, no fixed bayonets, or loaded rifles. Our sergeant-major, without
+even removing his pipe, said "Ross, you are a prisoner," and I replied
+"Righto," and proceeded to inquire when the autocrats of the cook-house
+would have tea ready. A few days later, I was brought before the
+beak&mdash;the officer in command of our squadron. "Quick march. Halt, left
+turn. Salute." This being done, the case was stated. The
+farrier-sergeant told the requisite number of lies. I denied them, but
+of course admitted shooting the beggar. Dirty, unwashed, unkempt,
+unshaven, ragged wretch that I looked, I daresay on a charge of
+double-murder, bigamy and suicide, I should have fared ill. The captain
+gave me what I suppose was a severe reprimand, told me that probably in
+Pretoria I should have to pay something, and said he would have to take
+away my stripe, so down it went, "reduced to the ranks." "Salute! Right
+turn," etc. Thus, did your humble servant lose the Field Marshal's bâton
+which he <span class="pagenum"><a id="page054" name="page054"></a>(p. 054)</span> had so long been carrying in his haversack. Alas, how
+are the mighty fallen! Tell it in Hastings and whisper it in St.
+Leonards if you will, like that dear old reprobate Mulvaney, "I was a
+corp'ril wanst, but aftherwards I was rejooced," <i>Vive l'Armée! Vive la
+Yeomanrie!</i> All the fellows were intensely sympathetic, and indeed, one
+or two particular friends seemed far more aggrieved than myself. I
+ripped off my stripe at once, and tossed it in our bivouac fire, and
+joined the small legion of ex-lance corporals of the Sussex Squadron
+(five in number).</p>
+
+<a id="img008" name="img008"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img008.jpg" width="400" height="456" alt="Some of the pomp &amp; circumstance of Glorious War." title="">
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+  "Or ever the blooming war was done,<br>
+<span class="add2em">Or I had ceased to roam;</span><br>
+  I was a slave in Africa,<br>
+<span class="add2em">And you were a toff at home."</span></p>
+
+<p class="noindent">Hullo! When it comes to poetry it is time to conclude.</p>
+
+<p>P.S.&mdash;My costume is holier than ever. Still, I find every cloud has a
+silver lining (though my garments possess none of any kind,
+unfortunately). The great advantage of the present state of one's
+clothes is this, if you want to scratch yourself&mdash;and out here on the
+warpath one occasionally does&mdash;say it's your arm, you need not trouble
+to take your tunic off; you simply put your hand through the nearest
+hole or rent, and there you are; if it's your leg you do the same, and
+thus a lot of trouble is saved.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec17" name="sec17"></a>
+<h3>Commandeering by Order.</h3>
+
+  <p class="right10 pb_0 smcap">Near the Racecourse,</p>
+  <p class="right5 pt_0 pb_0 smcap">Pretoria.</p>
+<p class="pt_0 right"><i>Friday, August 31st, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p>We arrived here on Tuesday last (28th), and since then have been camped
+almost on the very spot where we were in June, and are expecting every
+moment to receive further marching orders. These we should undoubtedly
+have got long ere now, if we had only obtained remounts, which are very
+scarce. General Mahon has gone on to Balmoral with the I.L.H., Lumsden's
+Horse, and other corps with horses, and this morning Colonel Pilcher
+paraded us, New Zealanders, Queenslanders and I.Y., and bade us
+good-bye. He has been connected with the Colonials from the beginning of
+the campaign, and took the Zealanders into <span class="pagenum"><a id="page055" name="page055"></a>(p. 055)</span> their first fight.
+I am feeling awfully fagged to-day, so hope you will, in reading this
+letter, make allowance for extenuating circumstances. If you only knew,
+I think you do, what these letters mean, the self-denied slumbers and
+washes, <i>fatigues shirked</i>, books and papers unread, and other little
+treats which comrades have indulged in when the rare and short
+opportunities have occurred&mdash;you would forgive much. On Tuesday (August
+21st) we had five Sussex men and three Somerset in the ranks of our
+troop of the Composite Squadron of Yeomanry, the rest being either in
+the ambulances or leading done (not "dun") horses with the waggons. In
+this district we came across numerous Kaffir villages, from which we
+drew mealies and handed in acknowledgments for the same payable in
+Pretoria. Reference to these papers reminds me that some of the
+Colonials in commandeering horses from peaceful Boer farmers have given
+them extraordinary documents to hand in to the authorities at Pretoria.
+For instance, one paper would contain the statement that Major
+Nevercomeback had obtained a roan mare from Mr. Viljoen Botha, for which
+he agreed to pay him £20, others of which I have heard and since
+forgotten were intensely amusing. On Wednesday (the 22nd) I had to do a
+footslog, owing to my horse giving out. Later I shot him, but I have
+made a special reference to this tragic event and its sequence already.
+That day we did about 25 miles through the bush veldt bearing about N.W.
+On the line of march not a drop of water was to be got. Though thirst is
+by no means a new experience, it is always a disagreeable one. On we
+trudged with dry, parched mouths and lips sticking together as though
+gummed, the dust adhering to our perspiring faces and filling our
+nostrils and ears. It is quaint to note how little on the march men
+converse with one another. On they stolidly tramp or ride hour after
+hour, side by side, and often exchange never a word. On they go,
+thinking, thinking, thinking. It is not hard to guess each other's
+thoughts, because we know our own. They are of home, home, home, nine
+times out of ten. At dark we reached our camp, and from the water-cart,
+for which we all, as usual, rushed, we filled our pannikins and bottles
+with water, thick, soapy-looking water, but to us, cool, refreshing
+nectar.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page056" name="page056"></a>(p. 056)</span> Thursday (the 23rd). There was a rumour (there always is) that
+we were to return to Pretoria. But the direction we took on marching
+belied it. Of course, I was "footslogging," but this day, having no
+horse to drag after me, was able to wander more at leisure. A few miles
+on the way a comrade and myself found a lovely flowing stream of the
+thick water before alluded to. Here we had a grand wash, and refilling
+our water bottles set on our journey refreshed. Some miles further on we
+came upon a freshly-deserted Boer store and farmhouse. Near the house we
+found some clips of explosive Mauser cartridges which had been buried by
+some bushes, and probably unearthed by some of the wandering porkers in
+the neighbourhood. Said I to a Tommy of Hamilton's column, as I took a
+handful of cartridges, "These will do as curios." Quoth Thomas
+scornfully, "Curios be blowed, put 'em in the beggars!" Of course, you
+can guess he did not exactly use those identical words, but they will
+do. Then having joined in the destruction of a monster hog, and obtained
+my share of his inanimate form, I, triumphant and perspiring, continued
+to follow the convoy.</p>
+
+<p>Friday (the 24th). This day we expected a big fight, but, as usual,
+because it was expected, it did not come off. Baden-Powell the day
+before had hustled them pretty considerably. We were so close on the
+Boers, that we got half of their ambulances, one being a French
+presentation affair, and driven by a woman, also some waggons. This day
+we did not go very far, our objective being a place known, I believe, as
+Warm Baths (the Harrogate or Sanatorium of the Transvaal). It lies due
+north of Pretoria, and about 40 miles from Pietersburg. Of course, here
+we struck the railway. After picketing the horses, a sick sergeant's
+horse was handed over to me. Most of us got permission to go and get a
+wash. The place was empty&mdash;save for some of Baden-Powell's men, who had
+got in at the enemy the day before&mdash;a desolate, wind-swept, sandy plain
+on the edge of the bush veldt and at the base of a range of kopjes,
+comprised of about thirty large corrugated iron bath houses (each
+containing two bath rooms), a fairly large hotel and small station&mdash;such
+is Warm Baths. The baths were well patronised. Some of our fellows,
+prisoners the Boers had <span class="pagenum"><a id="page057" name="page057"></a>(p. 057)</span> been obliged to leave behind in their
+flight&mdash;the rogues had taken the linchpins out of some of the Boer
+waggon wheels to impede them as much as possible&mdash;were using them as
+sleeping apartments. As about a score of men were after each bath and
+the doors had no bolts, a bath, though luxurious, was not an altogether
+private affair, the person bathing having continually to answer the
+question of a string of "the great unwashed," "How long shall you be?"
+and having the uneasy knowledge that about half-a-dozen impatient beings
+were waiting, sitting on the door-step and exhorting him "to buck up!" A
+couple of us managed to secure a fine bath, which we enjoyed without
+interruption worthy of mention. The water, which is naturally hot, was
+grand, and so hot that we had to use a lot of the cold, which was also
+laid on.</p>
+
+<p>The next day, Saturday (25th), we rested at Warm Baths, and I think we
+deserved it. If "early to bed and early to rise, make a man healthy,
+wealthy and wise," excepting occasionally the first clause "early to
+bed," I consider we ought all to live the health and longevity of
+Methuselah or Old Parr, the wealth of Cr&oelig;sus or Vanderbilt, and the
+wisdom of Solomon, blended with the guile of the Serpent. Mention of the
+guile reminds me of a simple little incident which occurred to-day, and
+which, months ago, we simple Yeomen would never have perpetrated. A
+terrible thing happened during the night; the sergeant-major's horse had
+got loose from our lines and was missing. Down came that indignant
+officer and sent the whole troop out to find it. Months ago I should
+have gone and searched diligently, and then been cussed for not finding
+the animal. But now, what does the fully-fledged Imperial Yeoman do?
+Grumbling and scowling (you must always do this, as it shows how
+successful the powers have been in delegating a distasteful task to you,
+and pleases them accordingly) with razor, soap and shaving brush in my
+pocket, and a growling, sullen comrade with a towel and sponge in his,
+we two set out in search of the noble steed. However, once out of sight,
+we hied us down to some running water, where we shaved and washed, then,
+filling our pipes, we sat down for an hour and chatted. Finally, we
+returned disconsolate and horseless, only to find that the great man had
+found it himself.</p>
+
+<a id="img009" name="img009"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img009.jpg" width="400" height="476" alt="A New Rig-out." title="">
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page058" name="page058"></a>(p. 058)</span> Sunday (26th). We got definite orders to march to Pretoria, the
+sick and horseless men having left by rail the previous day in trucks
+drawn by bullocks, till they could get on a more unbroken line. We
+paraded at 3 o'clock, and very shortly after starting my new horse
+became bad and I had to again join the convoy. To-day we marched to
+Pienaars <span class="pagenum"><a id="page059" name="page059"></a>(p. 059)</span> River, the bridge here representing a badly-made
+switchback railway, and those marvels of energy, the Engineers, working
+away merrily at it, with the assistance of Kaffirs.</p>
+
+<p>On Monday (27th) our <i>reveillé</i> was at five, and we marched to Waterval,
+where we saw the fine, large aviary in which the Boers kept the British
+prisoners till June, and the next day (Tuesday) we were up at 2.30, and
+marched into Pretoria and camped on the Racecourse at 11 o'clock. No
+sooner had I dragged my horse in and picketed him in our lines, than I
+managed to obtain town leave, and, having hastily washed, I boarded a
+mule waggon and was soon jolted into Pretoria. There I got Mails galore,
+found my kit bag had come up from Cape Town, and met dozens of old
+comrades in the Police, who insisted on making me have tea with them
+(with <i>condensed milk</i> in it, oh, ye gods!) and jam on real <i>bread</i>, and
+generally made a fuss of me, and listened with amused attention to a
+truthful account of the death of <i>Bête Noire</i> and my subsequent
+Dreyfus-like degradation. Rattling good fellows they were to me, and
+under their benign influence the petty trials and inconveniences of the
+past seven or eight weeks faded away like a dissolving view. The
+authorities have also served us out with clothes. I have received a
+lovely khaki tunic with beautiful brass buttons stamped with Lion and
+Unicorn, "<i>Dieu et mon Droit</i>," and a' that. And the fit is a wonderful
+fit; it is truly marvellous how they can turn out such a well-fitting
+coat for&mdash;a big boy of twelve. And I have boots! A grand fit for a
+policeman. Only I am neither a boy of twelve nor a policeman.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/imgd3.jpg" width="100" height="57" alt="Decoration" title="">
+</div>
+
+<a id="sec18" name="sec18"></a>
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page060" name="page060"></a>(p. 060)</span> WITH CLEMENTS.</h2>
+
+<p class="right10 pb_0 smcap">Hekpoort,</p>
+<p class="right pt_0"><i>September 5th, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+  We've stood to our nags (confound them!)<br>
+<span class="add1em">We've thought of our native land;</span><br>
+  We have cussed our English brother,<br>
+<span class="add1em">(For he does not understand.)</span><br>
+  We've cussed the whole of creation,<br>
+<span class="add1em">And the cross swings low for the morn,</span><br>
+  Last straw (and by stern obligation)<br>
+<span class="add1em">To the Empire's load we've borne.</span></p>
+
+<p>Monday, September 3rd. <i>Reveillé</i> at three o'clock, and coming after a
+few days of welcome rest in the camp by the Pretoria Racecourse, a camp
+resembling a vast rubbish field with the addition of open latrines, we
+naturally felt more annoyed than when on the march, hence these idle
+rhymes. On Sunday, after a short Divine Service, at which our major
+presided, we had to fall in and draw remounts. Hence "Reveillé," "Saddle
+up and stand to your horses!" I chose rather a good mount in the horse
+corral, but as the sergeants had the privilege of choosing from those we
+drew, I lost it, and so abandoned any intentions of trying to secure
+another good one. There is no attempt on these occasions to see that the
+right man has the right horse: it's "Hobson's choice." Even at Maitland
+camp, where I drew my first mount, no such attempt was made, the
+consequence being that I, scaling about 13-st. or more with my kit on,
+and heaven only knows what with my loaded saddle, drew when my turn came
+a weak little mare, which I had to stick to, to our mutual disadvantage,
+while lighter men drew bigger and stronger horses. Only a few days ago I
+received amongst my mails a letter from my sister, who inquired, "How is
+your horse?" Which one? "Stumbles" is not, "Ponto" is not, "Juggernaut"
+is not, "Diamond Jubilee" is not, "Bête Noire" is not. My present one,
+which I have not named, <i>is</i>, and I sometimes wish he wasn't. When
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page061" name="page061"></a>(p. 061)</span> I drew him at a venture, I vainly hoped he was not like other
+horses, especially that Argentine. Well, apart from stumbling and
+reverentially kneeling on most inopportune occasions, I have not much
+fault to find with him. To-day is our first day on this fresh jaunt (we
+are to join Clements), and already more than half the horses dished out
+to us seem played out. You see they have all passed through the Sick
+Horse Farm, and I presume are really convalescents. They dragged us
+along at the commencement of the day, and we had to drag them along at
+the end, which may sound like an equal division of labour, but which, in
+my opinion, it is not. However, to be very serious, our lives might have
+to depend upon these brutes at any moment, apart from the fact of our
+necks being perpetually in danger on account of their stumbling
+propensities. Still apart from the inconvenience of having to bury one,
+I fancy there would not be much concern on that count. We have halted at
+Rietfontein which is a mile or so from Commando Nek. Here is a large
+A.S.C. depôt, from which columns working in the district can draw
+supplies. It has been quite a treat to have tea by daylight.</p>
+
+<p>Tuesday, September 4th. 'Nother three o'clock <i>reveillé</i>! Passing by
+Commando Nek we were surprised at the difference since we were here
+about a month ago. Then the trees were bare, nearly all the veldt burnt
+and black, and the oat fields trodden down. Now the trees are wearing o'
+the green, and the once blackened veldt has assumed a verdant and
+youthful appearance, while the oat fields remind one of home, almost.
+For this is the Krugersdorp District, which we like so well, though,
+alas, the orange groves are on the other side (north) of the
+Magaliesberg. A strange thing happened after passing our old camping
+ground (of about a month ago) at Commando Nek. Instead of recognising
+familiar landmarks and houses, everything seemed strange and new to me.
+Said the man on my left in the ranks, "There's the farm where those
+Tommies got the porkers." To which I remarked vacantly, "Oh!" Then,
+further on, "Haven't the oats come on in that field?" Again, I
+helplessly "Er&mdash;yes." Then, "I wonder if they've got any fowls left in
+that shanty over there?" I, dissembling knowledge no longer, at last
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page062" name="page062"></a>(p. 062)</span> observed, "Really I don't understand it. I can't remember this
+place a bit." To which my neighbour replied, "Don't you remember coming
+this way when we were leading those Argentine remounts?"</p>
+
+<p><i>Those Argentine remounts!</i> All was explained at last. Of course, I saw
+and remembered naught save those awful brutes.</p>
+
+<p>We caught Clements up at ten o'clock&mdash;encamped to our joy&mdash;so here we
+are with "piled arms," "saddles off," and "horses picketed." As we came
+into camp we heard once again the Mausers of the snipers afar off. We
+have rigged up a sun shelter and have just dined, our "scoff" (Kaffir
+for "grub") being bread and bully beef.</p>
+
+<p><i>Apropos</i>:</p>
+
+<p><i>First Yeoman</i>: "I say, is this bully beef American?"</p>
+
+<p><i>Second Yeoman</i>: "No, <i>'Orse</i>-tralian, I believe."</p>
+
+<p class="p2">Wednesday, September 5th.</p>
+
+<p class="poem30">
+  "The peaches are a-blooming,<br>
+<span class="add05em">And the guns are a-booming,</span><br>
+<span class="add05em">And I want you, my honey,</span><br>
+<span class="add3em"><i>Yus, I do</i>."</span></p>
+
+<p>We had <i>reveillé</i> at a more Christian-like time this morning (4.30), and
+moved out as supports to our other troop (Devons), who were advance
+party. We number eighteen Sussex men, all told, in our ranks, and are
+led by Mr. Stanley, a Somerset I.Y. officer, who on our last trip was in
+charge of the Ross Gun Section, which consisted of two quick-firing Colt
+guns. After bare trees, dry veldt and dusty tracks, it is a real treat
+for one's eyes to see this fine district assuming its spring garb.
+Through the bright green patches of oats and barley we rode, past peach
+trees and bushes in full bloom, sometimes through a hedge of them, the
+pink blooms brushing against one's cheek. Then we came to a bend of the
+Crocodile River, with its rugged banks covered with trees and
+undergrowth, and the water rushing swiftly along between and over the
+huge rocks in its bed. This we forded at the nearest drift, the water
+reaching up to the horses' bellies. The general idea was for us mounted
+troops to clear the valley, and the infantry the ridges of kopjes. We
+were soon being sniped at from the right and the left, by, I presume,
+numerous small parties of Boers, and after riding <span class="pagenum"><a id="page063" name="page063"></a>(p. 063)</span> about a mile
+were dismounted behind a farmhouse, and took up a position on the banks
+of the Crocodile. The scene was truly idyllic. Below us the river in
+this particular place was placidly flowing, the various trees on its
+banks were bursting out in their spring foliage, and birds were
+twittering amongst them: indeed, one cheeky little feathered thing came
+and perched on a peach tree covered in pink blossom close by and piped a
+matin to me, and there was I, lounging luxuriously in the deep grass, a
+pipe in my mouth, a Lee-Enfield across my knees, and a keen eye on the
+range of kopjes opposite. Truly, the spring poet's opportunity, but
+alas, beyond the few lines with which I have dared to head to-day's
+notes, I could do naught in that line. Soon our artillery began throwing
+shrapnel on the top of the objectionable height, and, later, the Mausers
+began to speak a little further on, and that has been the day's game. I
+don't know our losses yet, but we have undoubtedly had some. Our crowd
+had a horse killed, of course. We had a good deal of visiting to do,
+calling at this farm and that, and inquiring if the "good man" was at
+home. This is the usual scene:</p>
+
+<p>Farmhouse of a humble order. A few timid Kaffirs loitering around, also
+a few fowls and slack-looking mongrels. Gentleman in Khaki rides up, and
+in the door appear two or more round-faced women wearing headgear of the
+baby-bonnet mode, dirty-faced children in background.</p>
+
+     <p class="p2"><i>G. in K.</i>: "Where is your husband?"</p>
+
+     <p><i>Women</i>: "Niet verstand."</p>
+
+     <p><i>G. in K.</i>: "Where is your brother?"</p>
+
+     <p><i>Women</i>: "Niet verstand."</p>
+
+     <p><i>G. in K.</i>: "Is he on those kopjes, potting at us?"</p>
+
+     <p><i>Women</i>: "Niet verstand."</p>
+
+     <p><i>G. in K.</i>: "Have many Boers been past here?"</p>
+
+     <p><i>Women</i>: "Niet verstand."</p>
+
+     <p><i>G, in K.</i> (After more interrogatories and more "Niet
+     verstands"): "Oh, hang it, good-bye."</p>
+
+     <p><i>Women</i> (in distance): "Niet verstand."</p>
+
+<p class="p2">Verily, the "niet verstand" or "no savvee" game is a great one out here.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page064" name="page064"></a>(p. 064)</span> (<i>Later.</i>) Our casualties were three Northumberland Fusiliers
+killed and eight wounded, one of our Fife comrades shot in the chest,
+also three Roughriders hit, and a fair percentage of horses knocked.</p>
+
+<p>Thursday, September 6th.&mdash;<i>Reveillé</i> at four o'clock, and off at
+daybreak. We soon came into action, some of our fellows on the right
+flank getting it particularly hot. Our little lot wheeled and dismounted
+behind a farmhouse, and, wading through a field of waving green barley,
+under fire, took up a position amongst the growth on the near bank of
+the river, from which we let off at some sangars on the top of a kopje
+in front. After a while we returned to our horses, mounted, rode away to
+our right, crossed the river, dismounted behind a rise in the ground,
+and proceeded to occupy some kopjes nearer the enemy, who had retired.
+Some fine sangars were on the hill we occupied, and so we were saved the
+trouble of building any. The one I found myself in was a very
+comfortable and secure affair as regards rifle fire. As, of course, Mr.
+Boer does not show himself over much, we had not much to pot at,
+therefore I made myself as comfortable as possible on the shady side of
+the sangar, and pulled out one of my numerous pocket editions of
+Tennyson (recently acquired in Pretoria) and indulged in a good, though
+occasionally interrupted, read. To a stranger at the game, I should
+imagine that my behaviour at times would have appeared incongruous, for
+while perusing the "Lotos-Eaters" and "Choric Song," the man on my right
+would now and again interrupt me with, "There are some, have a shot at
+'em!" Whereupon I would arise and fire a round or so at the distant
+dots, and then sink down again and resume the sweet poesy, ignoring as
+much as possible the constant bangings of villainous cordite in my ears,
+right and left. Soon we moved on to another position, the
+Northumberlands taking up our old one. The next one was in a stone
+enclosure, which contained a large number of goats and kids. This was
+not so pleasant, as the sun was high, and the place odoriferous.</p>
+
+<p>At about three we were relieved by a Northumberland picket, and returned
+under a sniping fire to where the camp had been pitched. Then the fun
+commenced. A rather <span class="pagenum"><a id="page065" name="page065"></a>(p. 065)</span> distant bang, <i>whis-sh!</i> over our heads;
+and from amongst the infantry blanket shelters a cloud of earth spouted
+up, and a small batch of men cleared off from the vicinity of the
+explosion. It was amusing to see the niggers throw themselves into
+trenches by the roads and fields. Then came another and yet another
+shell, without any more effect than making a hole in a tent, and the men
+of No. 8 Battery Field Artillery (and No. 8 is a deuced smart Battery,
+by'r leave) dashed out from their lines, pushing and dragging their
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page066" name="page066"></a>(p. 066)</span> guns, while the "4.7 gentleman" began moving his long beak in
+the air as though sniffing for the foe. "Give 'em hell, boys!" we cried
+to the busy gunners, as they dashed by us, working at the wheels and
+drag-ropes, but the Naval man spoke first, "Snap&mdash;Bang!" and back the
+gun jumped in a cloud of smoke; and presently, far away, from the crest
+of the kopje under suspicion, a cloud of brown arose, and later came the
+crack of the explosion. Meanwhile the Boers went on pitching shells into
+our camp, and we got the order to retire behind a kopje with our horses
+till it was decided what to do with us. Having done this, the shelling
+soon ceased, and later we were taken back to camp, where we off-saddled,
+picketed our horses, and settled down to tea. And then <i>bang! whish!
+crack!!</i> bang! whish! towards us the enemy's shells came again. They had
+got two guns in position, and were working them hard. We were getting
+some of our own back, for the shells we picked up were 15-pounder ones,
+of British make. Our Naval gun barked back viciously at them, and so did
+the field guns, but the enemy were firing with the red and dazzling
+setting sun, behind them, and shining directly in our fellows' eyes, who
+were blazing apparently at poor old Sol, and cussing him and the wily
+Boer in a manner by no means ambiguous. I know not whether we did them
+any harm or not; certainly they shifted their positions once or twice.
+As regards ourselves, it seems beyond belief, no damage was done. The
+enemy could not even boast of the bag which the Americans achieved at
+Santiago&mdash;that famous mule.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="img010" name="img010"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img010.jpg" width="500" height="546" alt="Oliver Twist on the Veldt." title="">
+<p><i>Pember, of the Sussex, asking for an extra allowance of tea, at the
+cook-house, while the camp is being shelled by the Boers, at Hekpoort.</i><br>
+(<i>Persuasively</i>) "It may be your last chance, Cookie!"</p>
+</div>
+
+
+<a id="sec19" name="sec19"></a>
+<h3>Cattle Lifting.</h3>
+
+  <p class="right10 pb_0 smcap">Hekpoort.</p>
+<p class="right pt_0"><i>Saturday, September 8th, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p>I fancy I stopped in my last near the end of a rather long-winded
+account of the shelling we experienced at the hands of Brother Boer, on
+Thursday evening last. To conclude that day's events, we finally shifted
+our horse lines a bit and turned in, spending a night undisturbed by the
+distant booming of the Boer guns or the ear-splitting cracking of our
+4.7. The next day we returned to our old lines, and settled down for a
+good day's rest, as we heard that Clements was waiting for Ridley to
+come up.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page067" name="page067"></a>(p. 067)</span> I had hardly unsaddled, however, when the sergeant-major came
+round and told half-a-dozen of us to saddle up and go out with the two
+guides (civilians, British farmers, who are with this column and know
+the locality). So we flung on our saddles, and slipping on our
+bandoliers, mounted and set out in our shirt sleeves (mark that!) with
+our guides in their civilian togs (mark that!). From these individuals
+we gathered we were off cattle-lifting, the Boers having left some in a
+kloof about a couple of miles south of the camp. With jocular allusions
+to our last quest of a similar nature (the laager near Rustenburg) we
+smoked and trotted along, comfortable in our shirt sleeves after so much
+of the usual marching order. Following, came four "boys" to drive the
+cattle home. We soon reached our objective. The "boys" were sent into
+the kloof, while we dismounted a little way up the stone-covered kopje
+on the right, and leaving a couple to look after the gees, the guides
+and the remainder of us started to climb the heights and cover the
+"boys" if necessary. Soon a rifle report was heard, and then another.
+The guides said it was a picket of ours firing on us in mistake from the
+kopje on the left, and suggested that one of us should work round and
+let them know who we were. Most of us argued that the report was a
+Mauser one. However, the guides prevailed, and I was deputed for the
+job, when the "boys" came running in breathless and told us pantingly
+that Boers had been sniping them. So seeing that it would be impossible
+under the circumstances to lift the cattle, we retired on our horses,
+mounted and moved off. And then the beggars, who had evidently moved up
+closer, gave it to us fairly warm, and we had to open out and break into
+a gallop in the direction of the camp. We were about clear of the
+Mausers and riding through some bush, when, suddenly above a stone wall
+not a hundred yards in front of us, helmets and heads appeared, also
+glistening rifle barrels, which pointed, oh no, not on the kopje behind,
+but on us. [This is where the civilian clothes and shirt sleeves came
+in.] An officer shouted "Don't fire! Don't fire!!! Down with those
+rifles." This order was obeyed reluctantly, then "Who are you?"
+"Friends! Yeomanry!" "What Yeomanry?" "Sussex." "All right." They proved
+to be a picket of the Northumberland Fusiliers. Then we crossed a drift,
+our <span class="pagenum"><a id="page068" name="page068"></a>(p. 068)</span> horses nearly having to swim, and finally reached camp.
+This morning (Saturday, September 8th) our squadron and the Fifes had to
+go back about half-a-dozen miles to meet Ridley. Our troop acted as
+advance party. It was rather an interesting sight to see the two parties
+meet; the advance of Ridley's force was Kitchener's Horse. When we met,
+we halted and chatted, waiting for orders. As we did so, the merry
+snipers started a desultory fire, which gradually became more rapid.
+Several suspected houses in the vicinity, whose owners had, as usual,
+taken the oath of neutrality and broken it&mdash;<i>Punica Fides</i> will have to
+give way to a new phrase, Boer Faith&mdash;were then burnt down. War is not
+altogether a game, it has its stern aspect. The women and children were
+loud in their lamentations as the red flames blazed and the dense smoke
+rolled away on the fresh <span class="pagenum"><a id="page069" name="page069"></a>(p. 069)</span> breeze which was blowing. They cursed
+us and wept idle tears, but they had their own dear friends, husbands
+and sons, to thank after all, as nearly all the sniping in this lovely
+valley is being done by the farmers who live in it. We brought about 25
+Boers in camp with us, either suspected or to save them from temptation.
+To see them, with their roll of blankets, saying good-bye to their
+weeping families would have touched anything but the hardened, homesick
+heart of a "Gentleman in Khaki," for he knows full well that the simple
+peasant in this, as in other localities, usually combines business with
+pleasure by sniping you in the morning and selling you eggs in the
+afternoon, as our troop leader puts it.</p>
+
+<a id="img011" name="img011"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img011.jpg" width="400" height="442" alt="Hate." title="">
+</div>
+
+<p>Sunday, September 9th. A late <i>reveillé</i> (6 o'clock). A lovely, lazy day
+in camp, during which I have been stewing fruit, smoking, and, alas, my
+bad habits still cling to me, perpetrated for my own amusement a little
+rough-and-ready rhyme, which I have the temerity to enclose. We had a
+short service, at which our O.C. Major Percy Browne, a real good man,
+presided. Ridley, who works with Clements, the same as Mahon did with
+Ian Hamilton, has with him Roberts' Horse, Kitchener's Horse, some
+Australians, the 2nd and 6th M.I., some artillery and two pom-poms. We
+advance to-morrow.</p>
+
+<div class="poem20">
+<p class="add2em">ANOTHER VERSION.</p>
+
+<p>Into our camp, from far away,<br>
+  Somebody's darling came one day&mdash;<br>
+  Somebody's darling, full of grace,<br>
+  Wearing yet on his youthful face,<br>
+  Soon to be hid by a stubbly growth,<br>
+  The fatted look of a life of sloth.<br>
+  Thus to our camp, from far away,<br>
+  Somebody's darling came one day.</p>
+
+<p>Parted and oiled were the locks of gold,<br>
+  Kissing the brow of patrician mould,<br>
+  And pale as the Himalayan snows;<br>
+  Spotlessly clean were his khaki clothes.<br>
+  It was a cert', beyond any doubt,<br>
+  Somebody's darling had just come out.</p>
+
+<p>Wond'rous changes were quickly wrought.<br>
+  Somebody's darling marched and fought.<br>
+  Somebody's darling learned to shoot,<br>
+  Somebody's darling loved to loot;<br>
+  Somebody's darling learned to swear,<br>
+  And neglected to part his hair.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page070" name="page070"></a>(p. 070)</span> After riding and marching weary leagues,<br>
+  Somebody's darling was set on fatigues&mdash;<br>
+  Set on fatigues for dreary hours,<br>
+  Thinking of home, its fruits and flowers.<br>
+  Somebody's darling's ideals were quashed;<br>
+  Somebody's darling went unwashed.</p>
+
+<p>Somebody's darling cussed sergeants big,<br>
+  Somebody's darling killed a young pig:<br>
+  Then dressed and trimmed it ready to eat,<br>
+  First of many a butcherly feat;<br>
+  Somebody's dear caring naught for looks,<br>
+  Joined the army of amateur cooks.</p>
+
+<p>Somebody's darling drank water muddy;<br>
+  Somebody's darling saw men all bloody;<br>
+  Somebody's darling heard bullets fly;<br>
+  Somebody's darling saw comrades die;<br>
+  Somebody's darling was playing the game,&mdash;<br>
+  Thousands and thousands were doing the same.</p>
+
+<p>Somebody's darling rose long before morn;<br>
+  Somebody's darling went tattered and torn;<br>
+  Somebody's darling longed for a bite,<br>
+  Half-baked by day and frozen by night.<br>
+  Somebody's darling received Mails sometimes,<br>
+  And his joy was beyond my idle rhymes.</p>
+
+<p>Somebody's darling was sniped one fierce day,<br>
+  An ambulance jolted him far away;<br>
+  Somebody's darling had got it bad,<br>
+  Somebody at home would soon be sad.<br>
+  Somebody's darling grew worse&mdash;then died.<br>
+  And&mdash;that was the end of Somebody's Pride.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+</div>
+
+<a id="sec20" name="sec20"></a>
+<h3>Delarey gives us a Field Day.</h3>
+
+<p class="right5"><i>Monday, September 10th, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p>We had <i>reveillé</i> at 3.30, and moved off as advance party before dawn.
+It was not long before we got into action. In less than a mile from our
+camp we found <i>frère</i> Boer, who made his presence known to us in the
+usual way, that is, with his Mauser, Express, Martini-Henry, or elephant
+gun; of course, the first is his usual weapon. Not to be too
+long-winded, we carried ridge after ridge of kopje for several miles. On
+one occasion the enemy and ourselves rushed for the top of two different
+kopjes, wherefrom to pepper one another. We only just had time to take
+cover <span class="pagenum"><a id="page071" name="page071"></a>(p. 071)</span> in a sangar as they opened fire from the opposite hill.
+Their bullets buzzed and whistled over us, bringing down twigs from a
+tree just by me, and striking the stones with a nasty sound. Later, the
+infantry (Worcesters), advancing from behind, began firing over us at
+the enemy; indeed, for a little time, we were very uncertain whether
+they were not mistaking us for t'others. Anyhow, their bullets came most
+infernally close, and necessitated our taking careful cover from the
+missiles in rear as well as those in front. At last we came to the
+enemy's main position, which was a fine natural one, and our artillery
+came into play&mdash;we resting for a bit, and the infantry forming up to
+advance under their fire. Then hell got loose. Bang, bang, bang went our
+field guns; boom went the 4.7; pom-pom-pom-pom-pom went the
+Vickers-Maxims; rap-rap-rap-rap-rap-rap went the Maxims; bang, bang went
+their field guns; up-um, up-um, up-um went their Mausers; crack, crack
+went our rifles. Imagine the above weapons and a few others, please, all
+firing, not so much to make themselves heard at the same time (they did
+that), but to destroy, kill and maim, and you can guess it was hard for
+a poor tired beggar to sleep. I was fagged out, and when we rested while
+our gunner friends had their innings, laid down in the blazing noon-day
+sun, and, with a stone for a pillow, half-dozed for an hour or so. I was
+roused by a comrade to look in front of me, it was a wonderful sight.
+About a mile-and-a-half of the Boer position was a blackened line
+fringed with flame and smoke, but they were still determinedly trying to
+stop our infantry from occupying a long kopje in front of them, and
+answering our guns with theirs. That night was almost a sleepless one,
+for though dead fagged, we all had to do pickets on the ground we had
+won. The next morning Delarey had disappeared, but we know we shall meet
+him again.</p>
+
+<p>It is a fine sight to see British infantry advance. With rolled blanket,
+and mess-tin a-top, filled haversack, the accursed
+"hundred-and-fifty"<a id="footnotetag5" name="footnotetag5"></a><a href="#footnote5" title="Go to footnote 5"><span class="smaller">[5]</span></a> pulling at his stomach, pipe in mouth, and rifle
+sloped (butt up as a rule), Mr. Thomas Atkins of the Line goes leisurely
+forward. I do not know yet what the casualties were. Of the Worcesters
+who passed <span class="pagenum"><a id="page072" name="page072"></a>(p. 072)</span> us, one poor fellow was shot through the head, and
+about ten wounded; we had none, save a nag shot by Roberts' Horse in
+mistake.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec21" name="sec21"></a>
+<h3>Burnt to Death.</h3>
+
+<p class="right10 pb_0 smcap">Hekpoort.</p>
+<p class="right pt_0"><i>Thursday, Sept. 13th, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p>We returned to this, our old camp, yesterday, and are resting here for a
+day or more, one never knows for certain how long these rests will last
+when out on the war path. Yesterday (the 12th) we had a fairly late
+<i>reveillé</i>, and then, acting as advance guard, returned hither by way of
+a valley running parallel with this, and through which Ridley advanced
+when we had our little scrap with Delarey at Boschfontein, on Monday
+last. By-the-bye, I was yarning, while washing at a stream near here
+this morning, with some Worcesters, who told me they had five killed and
+fifteen wounded on that day. Two poor fellows were found burned out of
+all recognition on the charred veldt the next day. They had been left
+wounded and had been unable to crawl away from the blazing grass. The
+valley we passed through yesterday was, in parts, more charming than
+this. One little village, called Zeekooe, was a particularly pleasant
+spot, the houses being half-hidden by the white pear blossoms, the pink
+peach, and the various green foliages of the trees, for this is Spring,
+when "the young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love," and here
+am I &mdash;&mdash;, well, well!! Even my old foe, the two-inch thorn bush, has
+assumed a light-green muslin bridal veil. All this bursting into leaf is
+most refreshing, to me at least, and I doubt not no less welcome to the
+noble Boer sniper, who now gets more cover than was possible a month
+ago. As we left camp, he was sniping away merrily, and about as
+ineffectively as usual. When we crossed the kopjes to get to this valley
+we came by way of a fine mountain road. Sheer down below us rushed the
+river Magaliz, crystal clear, splashing and bubbling over the big rocks
+in its bed, with weeping willows dipping down from amidst the thick
+undergrowth on its banks, while now and again a garden from a farm near
+ran to its edge, with vivid patches of young <span class="pagenum"><a id="page073" name="page073"></a>(p. 073)</span> oats and lemon
+trees. On arrival in camp, we heard that some Boers had been discovered
+in some undergrowth, by a stream on our left flank, so we set off, and
+beating it got six armed.</p>
+
+<p>The barbed-wire curse is great in this Eden-like valley, and when you
+consider that the advance mounted parties have to go straight ahead
+through fields and back gardens, the garden walls of which are
+invariably represented by barbed-wire fencing, you can comprehend that
+our work is more often than not, no easy matter, especially as
+wire-nippers are as rare as brandies and sodas, and even when possessed
+are not much assistance in surmounting the wide and deep irrigation
+cutting, which is often on the other side of the fence. Again, bogs are
+not infrequently come across&mdash;<i>across</i>, by the way, is hardly the word
+to use. Only a few days ago I was riding towards what I deemed to be a
+passable ford, when I met a Rough Rider (72nd I.Y.) coming back from it.
+I casually asked him if it was all right, to which he replied that it
+was a bit boggy, and then incidentally added, "We've just shot one of
+our fellows' horses that got stuck and we couldn't get out." Whereupon I
+took a more circuitous route, a proceeding which I did not regret, when
+later, I saw the poor, horseless Rough toiling in the broiling sun, his
+huge saddle covering his head and shoulders, after the tail of the
+convoy, in hopes of catching it and depositing his burden on a waggon.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec22" name="sec22"></a>
+<h3>The Infection of Spring again.</h3>
+
+<p>I must apologise for the enclosed doggerel. Last night, round one of our
+fires, we were alluding to the various uses we have made of that deadly
+weapon, the bayonet, and it was suggested that I, as a Spring Poet,
+should record them in verse, hence the enclosed:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem20">
+<p>THE BALLAD OF THE BAYONET.<br>
+<span class="add2em">(Sussex Yeoman <i>loq.</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p>Did I ever use the bay'nit, sir?<br>
+  In the far off Transvaal War,<br>
+  Where I fought for Queen and country, sir,<br>
+  Against the wily Boer.<br>
+  Aye, many a time and oft, sir,<br>
+  I've bared the trusty blade,<br>
+  And blessed the dear old Homeland, sir,<br>
+  Where it was carefully made.</p>
+
+<p class="add4em"><span class="pagenum"><a id="page074" name="page074"></a>(p. 074)</span>            <i>Chorus</i>:</p>
+
+<p class="add1em"><i>Then here's to the British bay'nit<br>
+    Made of Sheffield steel,<br>
+    And here's to the men who bore it&mdash;<br>
+    Stalwart men and leal.</i></p>
+
+<p>You notice the dents on the edge, sir,<br>
+  At Bronkhurst Spruit they were done;<br>
+  I was getting a door for a fire,<br>
+  For out of wood we had run.<br>
+  I was smiting hard at the door, sir,<br>
+  Or rafter, I'm not sure which,<br>
+  When I struck on an iron screw, sir,<br>
+  And the bay'nit got this niche.</p>
+
+<p>'Tis my mighty Excalibur, sir,<br>
+  I've used it in joy and grief,<br>
+  For digging up many a tater,<br>
+  Or opening bully beef.<br>
+  I have used it for breaking wire,<br>
+  Making tents 'gainst rain and sun;<br>
+  I have used it as a hoof-pick,<br>
+  In a hundred ways and one.</p>
+
+<p>Oh, how did the point get blunted, sir?<br>
+  I was driving it home<br>
+  As a picketing peg for my horse,<br>
+  So that he should not roam.<br>
+  I drove it in a little, sir,<br>
+  And then in my haste, alas,<br>
+  I stubbed the point on a rock, sir,<br>
+  Some inches below the grass.</p>
+
+<p>You ask if it e'er took a life, sir?<br>
+  Aye, I mind the time full well;<br>
+  I had spotted him by a farm, sir,<br>
+  And went for him with a yell.<br>
+  He tried to escape me hard, sir,<br>
+  But I plunged it in his side,<br>
+  And there by his own backyard, sir,<br>
+  A healthy porker died.</p>
+
+<p>But did I draw it in action?<br>
+  You ask me roughly now.<br>
+  Yes, we were taking a kopje,<br>
+  The foe were on the brow.<br>
+  We drew and fixed our bay'nits,<br>
+  The sun shone on the steel;<br>
+  Death to the sniping beggars<br>
+  We were about to deal.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page075" name="page075"></a>(p. 075)</span> Then, sweating and a-puffing,<br>
+  We scaled the rocky height,<br>
+  But when we reached the top, sir.<br>
+  The foe was out of sight.</p>
+
+<p>Has it e'er drawn human blood?<br>
+  Yes, once, I grieve to say;<br>
+  It was not in a battle,<br>
+  Or any bloody fray;<br>
+  'Twas just outside Pretoria.<br>
+  The deed was never meant,<br>
+  I slipped and fell on the point, sir,<br>
+  'Twas quite by accident.</p>
+
+<p class="add4em"><i>Chorus</i>:</p>
+
+<p class="add1em"><i>Then here's to the British bay'nit,<br>
+    Made of Sheffield steel,<br>
+    And here's to the men who bore it,<br>
+    Stalwart men and leal.<br>
+    And here's to the Millenium,<br>
+    The time of peaceful peace,<br>
+    When neighbours shall love each other,<br>
+    And wicked wars shall cease.</i><a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></P>
+</div>
+
+<a id="sec23" name="sec23"></a>
+<h3>Death of Lieutenant Stanley.</h3>
+
+<p>Monday, September 17th. There is a funeral to-day&mdash;an officer's&mdash;and we
+(the Composite Squadron) are stopping in camp for it, as it concerns us.
+So I will tell you all about it. Yesterday was Sunday, seldom a day of
+rest out here. We, the three squadrons of Yeomanry attached to Clements'
+force, were sent out early on a reconnaissance. Without any opposition
+we advanced in a westerly direction towards Boschfontein, almost the
+same way as on Monday last, for about four miles, the Devon and Dorset
+troops of our squadron being on the right, our Sussex troop on the left,
+the Roughriders (72nd I.Y.) in reserve, and the Fife Light Horse
+scouting ahead. The Fifes had reached the foot of a high grass-covered
+kopje, and were about to ascend it, when the enemy opened a hot fire on
+them, causing them to scoot for their lives, which they managed to do
+successfully. We then galloped up, dismounted, and opened fire on the
+hill-top, the Devons and Dorsets doing the same on our right, and the
+Fifes falling back on our left. Where the Roughs were we never knew,
+probably their officers did. Taking into account the absence of the Nos.
+3, with the led horses, and one group of our troop being sent some
+distance to the left, we only <span class="pagenum"><a id="page076" name="page076"></a>(p. 076)</span> numbered six and our officer,
+Mr. Stanley, well-known in the cricket world as a Somerset county man.
+Our led horses were in a donga in the rear. The position we occupied, I
+should mention, was at the base of a kopje opposite to that held by the
+Boers. We were sighting at 2,000, when our captain, Sir Elliot Lees,
+rode up and said he could not make out where the Devons and Dorsets who
+should have been on our right, were. As a matter of fact they had
+retired unknown to us. This the wily Boers had seen and quickly taken
+advantage of, for Sergeant-Major Cave, of the Dorsets, rushing up to us
+crouching down, told us to fire to our right front, where some trees
+were about three or four hundred yards away, and from which a heavy fire
+was being directed at us. Sir Elliot Lees then came up again from our
+left. Mr. Stanley, seeing the hot corner we were in, retired us about a
+dozen yards back to the deepest part of the donga, where our led horses
+were, and ordered the fellows with the horses to retire, and later, gave
+the command for us to do the same in rushes by threes. Meanwhile our
+bandoliers were nearly empty, and the Boers were creeping round to our
+right, which would enable them to enfilade our position. The first three
+retired, and we were blazing away to cover them, with our heads just
+showing as we fired over the top of the donga, when the man on my right
+said, "Mr. Stanley is hit," and looking at him, for he was close to me
+on my left, I saw he was shot through the head, the blood pouring down
+his face. Sir Elliot, the other man, and myself were the only ones left
+in the donga then, so the captain, taking hold of poor Stanley by his
+shoulders, and I his legs, we started to carry him off. As we picked him
+up, he insisted, in a voice like that of a drunken man, on somebody
+bringing his carbine and hat. "Where's my rifle an' hat? Rifle an' hat!"
+The third man took them and gat&mdash;I heard this later. You have no idea
+what a weight a mortally-wounded man is, and the poor fellow was in
+reality rather lightly built. On we went, stumbling over stones, a
+ditch, and into little chasms in the earth. Once or twice he mumbled,
+"Not so fast, not so fast!" The bullets buzzed, whistled, and hummed by
+us, missing us by yards, feet, and inches, knocking up the dust and
+hitting the stones and thorn bushes we staggered through. We, of course,
+presented a big mark for the Boers, and were not under any <span class="pagenum"><a id="page077" name="page077"></a>(p. 077)</span>
+covering fire so far as I am aware. The captain, who is grit all
+through, soon found it impossible to carry the poor fellow by the
+shoulders, the weight being too much for him, so I offered, and we
+changed places, Sir Elliot taking his legs and on we went, pausing,
+exhausted, perspiring and breathless, now and again, for a rest. At
+last, turning to our left, we reached a little bit of cover, thanks to a
+friendly rise in the ground, and falling into a kind of deep rut with
+Stanley's body on top of me, I waited while the captain went to see if
+he could get any assistance. Presently he returned with a Somerset man;
+and a minute or so later a Fife fellow, a medical student, came up. The
+former and I then got him on a little farther. After a few minutes'
+deliberation, the captain said, reluctantly, "we must leave him." We all
+three asked permission to stay. To which Sir Elliot replied, "I don't
+want to lose an officer and three men. Come away, men!" We then moved
+the poor fellow into a cutting about two feet deep and three feet wide,
+and arranged a haversack under his head. As we loitered, each unwilling
+to leave him first, Sir Elliot thundered at us to come on, saying, "I
+don't know why it is, but a Yeoman never will obey an order till you've
+sworn at him." Then reluctantly we set off in single file, working our
+way back by the bank of a stream, and still under cover of the rise in
+the ground, a little way up which we found one of our Sussex men, with
+his horse bogged to the neck. Further on we paused a moment, and the
+Fife man, saying that he thought the wound was not mortal, suggested
+that it would be well for somebody to be with Stanley so as to prevent
+him from rolling on it, and then asked permission to return. My Fife
+friend had not seen what I had. He had only seen where the bullet went
+in, not where it came out. Seeing that the captain was about to give him
+permission, I said "Mr. Stanley is my officer, sir, and I have the right
+to go," and he let me. I gave one my almost-empty bandolier, and another
+my haversack, telling him it contained three letters for the post,
+and&mdash;if necessary, to post them. My rifle I had already thrown into a
+ditch at Sir Elliot's command. Then I worked my way back, hoping that I
+should not be shot before reaching him. I got there all right, and
+evidently unseen; lying down by him, I arranged my hat so as to keep
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page078" name="page078"></a>(p. 078)</span> the sun off his face, and cutting off part of my left
+shirt-sleeve, with the water from my bottle, used half of it to bathe
+his temples and wipe his bubbling, half-open mouth. The other I
+moistened, and laid over the wound. He was quite unconscious, of course,
+and his case hopeless. Once I thought he was gone, but was mistaken. The
+second time, however, there was no mistake.</p>
+
+<p>I waited by the brave man&mdash;who had been our troop leader for the last
+fortnight, and who had, I am sure, never known fear&mdash;for some time
+deliberating what to do. Shots were still being fired from somewhere in
+my vicinity, while our firing I had gloomily noted had receded, and
+finally ceased. By-and-bye, all was silent, then a bird came and chirped
+near me and a butterfly flitted by. At length, as it appeared to me
+useless to wait by a dead man, I determined to get back to camp, if
+possible, instead of waiting to be either shot in cold blood, or made a
+prisoner. After carefully going through all his pockets, from which I
+took his purse, watch, whistle, pipe, pouch, and notebook, and,
+attaching his glasses to my belt, having arranged him a little and laid
+my bloody handkerchief over his face, I got up, and worked my way along
+by the river bank till compelled to go into the open. I trusted to a
+great extent to my khaki on the dry grass, and daresay it saved me from
+making much of a mark; but spotted I was, and from the right and left
+the bullets came very thick and unpleasantly close. For about a mile I
+was hunted on the right and left like a rabbit. At first I ran a little,
+but was done, and soon dropped into a staggering walk. After a while I
+came on Dr. Welford and his orderly behind some rocks, just coming out,
+but when he heard my news he turned back, and, as I refused to use his
+horse, which he offered me, at my request rode off, and got potted at a
+good deal. Further on, he waited for me. He is a brick, our doctor; and
+when he learnt I was thirsty, and he saw my tired condition (the sun on
+my bare head had been most unpleasant) he offered me a drop of whisky
+and water, adding, "You'd better have it when we get round the bend of
+the kopje ahead." I thanked him, and said I thought it would be more
+enjoyable <i>there</i>. Enjoy it I did. Finally I reached the camp and told
+the captain the sad news, at the same time handing in the gallant
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page079" name="page079"></a>(p. 079)</span> officer's belongings. His watch was at 12.5 when I left him.
+Sir Elliot was most kind to me, and said I had acted gallantly, and he
+had told the major (commanding us). Then Major Browne came up, and he
+was also very complimentary. Of course, there was nothing in what I had
+done that any other man would not have done, and I told them so,
+especially as the example set by the captain made it impossible for a
+man to be other than cool. Lieutenant Stanley, who took command of us
+when we left Pretoria a fortnight ago, had soon become very popular, for
+he was a thorough sportsman, keen as mustard, quite unaffected and
+absolutely fearless. I feel pleased with myself for taking everything
+off the poor fellow before I left him; for when, late last night, the
+ambulance came in with him, the doctor's orderly told me that they found
+him stripped of his boots, gaiters, and spurs&mdash;which was all that were
+left worth taking.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec24" name="sec24"></a>
+<h3>His Burial.</h3>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+  "And far and wide,<br>
+<span class="add05em">They have done and died,</span><br>
+<span class="add2em">By donga, and veldt, and kloof,</span><br>
+<span class="add05em">And the lonely grave</span><br>
+<span class="add05em">Of the honored brave,</span><br>
+<span class="add2em">Is a proof&mdash;if we need a proof."</span><br>
+<span class="left50"><i>E. Wallace.</i></span></p>
+
+<p>Tuesday, September 18th. We buried Lieut. Stanley yesterday at mid-day,
+the sergeants acting as bearers, we Sussex men (of the dozen of us, two
+were with him at Eton and one at Oxford) composed the firing party,
+while the whole squadron, officers and men followed. About
+three-quarters of a mile from our present camp, in the garden of a
+Scotchman, named Jennings, by a murmuring, running stream, and beneath
+some willows, we laid him. By the side of the grave was a bush of
+Transvaal may, covered in white blossom, at the end were roses to come,
+and away back and front were the white-covered pear trees and
+pink-covered peach, perfuming the clear, fresh air, while on the sides
+of the babbling stream were ferns and a species of white iris. Sewn up
+in his rough, brown, military blanket, he was lowered to his last
+resting-place, the major reading the Burial Service.</p>
+
+<p class="poemctr"><span class="pagenum"><a id="page080" name="page080"></a>(p. 080)</span> "&mdash;&mdash; Is cut down like a flower."</p>
+
+<p>He could not have been more than twenty-five. Then, "Fire three volleys
+of blank ammunition in the air. Ready! Present! Fire!" Again and again,
+and the obsequies of a brave officer and true English gentleman and
+sportsman were over.</p>
+
+<p>I am sorry to say that we have a Sussex sergeant missing&mdash;killed or
+prisoner. We are most anxious to know his fate, poor fellow. So, out of
+the seven of us in that hot corner, one is dead, one is not, and Heaven
+only knows how the others escaped, myself in particular.</p>
+
+<p>Wednesday, September 19th. This morning we advanced about half-a-dozen
+miles, and pitched our camp here&mdash;Doornkloof is the name of the place, I
+believe.</p>
+
+<p>Thursday, September 20th. Ridley's column has gone back in the direction
+of Pretoria to Rietfontein, as escort to a convoy, principally composed
+of waggons loaded with oat hay. I hear, and hope it is true, that he has
+our letters.</p>
+
+<p>Friday, September 21st. Had to do a picket on an outlying kopje. The
+stable guard, who should have <i>reveilléed</i> us at three forgot to do so,
+and later, when we were aroused, we had to saddle up and clear off at
+once. I had to go off <i>sans café</i> (which is breakfast), and worse still
+in my hurry <i>sans</i> pipe. Oh, how that worried me, my pipe which I have
+kept and smoked through all till now. Somebody might tread on it and
+break it, or find it and not return it. On the kopje a friend lent me
+his emergency pipe, over which a lot of quinine powder had been upset,
+so I had a few smokes, in which the flavour of quinine prevailed
+unpleasantly. Still, I have no doubt it was healthy. But, oh, where was
+my pipe, should I ever see it again? "There is a Boer outpost over
+there." "Yes, but I wonder what the deuce has become of my pipe," and
+then I bored my vigilant fellow sentinel with the history of that pipe.
+With the sun pouring down on us without shelter, without any grub, and
+not a drop of water (my bottle I left by Stanley), we were stuck up on
+that kopje till past sunset. Where was my pipe, should I get it all
+right? At last we got back to camp, and, overjoyed, I received from a
+friend my pipe, which he had picked up in the lines. Then, having
+partaken of tea, I found myself in for <span class="pagenum"><a id="page081" name="page081"></a>(p. 081)</span> a sleepless night as
+stable picket. But it didn't matter, I had got my pipe.</p>
+
+<p>Saturday, September 22nd.</p>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+  "There is a foe who deals hard knocks,<br>
+<span class="add2em">In a combat scarce Homeric:</span><br>
+<span class="add05em">It's <i>not</i> the Boer, who snipes from rocks,</span><br>
+<span class="add2em">But fever known as Enteric."</span></p>
+
+<p>The idea I have partly expressed in the above lines, is as you know,
+correct. The Boer from behind his rock snipes you at a distance, but
+Sister Enteric, though unseen, as Brother Boer, is nearer to us. She is
+with us in our camps, when we eat and when we drink&mdash;often parched,
+recklessly drink&mdash;and close, unseen and unheard, deals her blows. And
+when they are dealt, the nervous ones amongst us <i>think</i>. For common
+report hath it that the illness takes roughly about three weeks to
+develop, and the nervous man thinks back what did he drink three weeks
+ago, or thinking of what he ate or drank the day before, dreads the
+developments three weeks may bring. When we came in last night we heard
+that a poor fellow of our squadron had succumbed to it, and was to be
+buried the next morning at 5.30. We bury soon out here. So once again
+this week, I formed a unit of the firing party, and did the slow march
+with reversed arms. We clicked the three volleys at the grave. Later, we
+had two more funerals, the result of Brother Boer's handiwork. They were
+two men of Kitchener's Horse, who had dropped behind Ridley's force at
+Hekpoort, and had ridden to Mrs. Jennings' farm to buy some bread. These
+two were shot by over half-a-dozen concealed Boers at about twenty yards
+range. No attempt was made to make them prisoners, and they were
+practically unarmed, having revolvers only. Their bodies were riddled.</p>
+
+<p>Sunday, September 23rd.</p>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+  "Oh, happy man in study quiet,<br>
+<span class="add2em">On data and statistics,</span><br>
+<span class="add05em">Making copy of our diet,</span><br>
+<span class="add2em">Please soften our biscuits!"</span></p>
+
+<p>This afternoon having borrowed a magazine from a Rough, in exchange for
+an old one I picked up in the Fife lines, I have in common with the
+sharer of my blanket shelter derived infinite entertainment from an
+article therein contained, entitled "Feeding the Fighting Man." Of
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page082" name="page082"></a>(p. 082)</span> course, it is illustrated with photographs, the first one
+depicting a sleek and stiff Yeomanic-looking, khaki-clad being standing
+by the side of a swagger little drawing-table covered with a fringed
+tablecloth, and obviously groaning under what we learn are the
+gentleman's daily rations. Apart from the article, this picture alone is
+calculated to make one's mouth water. The article opens with an extract
+from that great book, "The Soldier's Pocket Book." Here it is, "It may
+be taken as an accepted fact that the better the men are fed the more
+you will get out of them, the better will be their health and strength,
+the more contented will they be, and the better will be their
+discipline," all of which is gospel truth. The article, as I have
+already remarked, is very entertaining. Here is a little extract&mdash;"fresh
+meat and bread have been issued daily, almost without a single
+exception, to troops at the front." We know the fresh meat, good old
+trek ox! Always delightfully fresh&mdash;and tough. And the bread, yes, the
+bread, well-er-the bread, yes, the bread! If I had read this article at
+home, being somewhat of a gourmand, I should certainly have rushed off
+and enlisted directly after reading as far as the middle, where we learn
+that every soldier is allowed daily&mdash;oh, the list is too long to give
+you. There is one little thing the scribe overlooked, and that is the
+waggon crowd, the quartermaster-sergeant and his satellites. It may also
+be of interest to you to know that certain non-coms. and men of the
+A.S.C. have made large sums of money out here. I have heard of one who
+made three or four hundred pounds in a few months, hem! Of course, they
+are exceptions in a corps which has, as everyone knows, done grand work.
+Our running commentaries as I read the article through, would have made
+excellent marginal reading, if such notes could have been added for a
+future edition.</p>
+
+<p>Yesterday, a fresh epidemic visited our camp&mdash;football. Some person,
+evilly disposed I presume, produced a football which after a "good blow
+out" (oh, happy football) was kicked in the midst of a crowd of wild
+enthusiasts. We soon had a casualty, a sergeant stubbing his big toe
+badly on a boulder; now he can hardly walk. I believe there were a few
+other minor casualties. Thirty enteric cases were taken into Pretoria
+with the last convoy. I am slowly but surely learning to spread jam very
+thinly on biscuit, one of the most <span class="pagenum"><a id="page083" name="page083"></a>(p. 083)</span> difficult accomplishments I
+have had to learn out here. My jam spreading having hitherto been at
+once the scandal and horror of my messmates.</p>
+
+<p>On Monday morning one of Bethune's Horse came into our camp, he had been
+a Boer prisoner, and had escaped from Rustenburg, which they are at
+present occupying (I think it is their turn this month). He had been
+wandering for fourteen days, or rather nights, for it was then he
+travelled&mdash;a native chief had supplied him with a guide, who piloted him
+about, and kept him going on berries and such like. He said to me, "I
+was glad to see English faces again," and I, who in a small way know
+what it is to be hunted, believed him, you bet.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec25" name="sec25"></a>
+<h3>Promoted to Full Corporal.</h3>
+
+<p>Tuesday, September 25th. Yesterday we moved out to meet and escort
+Ridley in with the convoy from Pretoria. About a couple of miles out we
+heard guns, and I thought probably we should have a bit of scrapping,
+but we did not beyond some half-hearted sniping. To my surprise and
+delight Ridley brought mails, my portion being eleven letters. Some had
+the home post mark of May 25th, and the others August 7th. I must leave
+off for a space here, as I have to carve an epitaph for the poor fellow
+who died a few days ago. You see one's occupations out here are many and
+varied.</p>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>Resumed.</i>)</p>
+
+<p>Yesterday evening the orderly sergeant came down to my wigwam, and asked
+for my regimental number, which I gave him without asking the reason
+why. Soon he returned and congratulated me, saying I had been promoted
+to full corporal over poor Stanley's affair. My many comrades also have
+warmly congratulated me on my return to my former state, or rather above
+it, for it is a case of wearing two stripes now.</p>
+
+<p>Wednesday, September 26th. On this day we advanced. Our column did not
+come in for the usual amount of attention from our friend the enemy, the
+reason being that a gentleman friend of ours, General Broadwood, was
+pounding away at them from one side, and Ridley from <span class="pagenum"><a id="page084" name="page084"></a>(p. 084)</span> another.
+All the same we had a very busy day, scouting and occupying kopjes. Our
+guns fired at some Boer waggons, causing their escort to clear, and
+leave them for us. Our infantry got them and had a good time. They are
+fine fellows, are our infantry, and deserve all they can get in the loot
+line. Late in the afternoon we surrounded a suspicious-looking kloof,
+full of thick undergrowth, and captured a couple of the peaceful
+peasants of the Arcadian dorp (fontein, kloof or spruit) we were then
+occupying. A man in quest of loot found them, to his great surprise.
+They were of the <i>genus snipa</i>. One had an elephant gun and the other a
+Martini. We had had <i>reveillé</i> at 2.30, and breakfast a little later.
+From then till about six in the evening I had only a few bits of
+biscuit, and once a drop of water, but felt none the worse for my little
+fast.</p>
+
+<p>Thursday, September 27th. We got us up at 3.30. On going to saddle up I
+found that my horse was gone. However, after a careful search, I found
+him, though he had changed colour and size. When in the Yeomanry, do as
+the Yeomen do. So having got a mount I was soon on parade. We then
+ascended a big kopje and were placed at various observation posts till
+such time as the convoy should move off. On the top of this kopje were
+numerous tree-locusts, these are far more swagger in appearance than
+their khaki-clad brethren, being green and yellow, with a crimson and
+purple lining to their wings; but their whole appearance is so
+artificial, that my first impression on seeing one was that it had flown
+out of a Liberty Shop. From the various uncomplimentary remarks one
+hears passed on the locust, I imagine the name must be derived from the
+expression "low cuss." At 3.30 the tail of the beastly but necessary
+convoy had succeeded in negotiating the usual non-progressive drift, and
+we left our kopje to form its rear guard. My horse and I went a lovely
+howler soon after starting&mdash;my first spill. I got up feeling all the
+better for the experience, and soon had another. In this my rifle got
+broken.</p>
+
+<p>Friday, September 28th. We arrived at Olifant's Nek with the convoy at
+3.30 a.m. a bit tired, found lukewarmed-up tea, bully and biscuits
+awaiting us, and then turned in, and just and unjust slumbered soundly
+till a late <i>reveillé</i>, 6 o'clock, bundled us out to feed our horses. My
+latest <span class="pagenum"><a id="page085" name="page085"></a>(p. 085)</span> acquisition I found had vamoosed or been vamoosed. In
+searching for it, I found my old one. Then, having foraged around at our
+waggon and secured a Lee-Metford, I was once again fully equipped. At
+about 10, we advanced through the bush veldt as far as our present
+camping ground, which is called Doornlaagte, I believe.</p>
+
+<p>Saturday, September 29th. As we are resting here to-day I will continue
+my diary-like letter.</p>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>Resumed.</i>)</p>
+
+<p>My fell intentions of writing this morning were knocked on the head, as
+we had to go out on a patrol. Our latest <i>rôles</i> being that of
+resurrectionists, or grave desecrators. The reason was that certain
+tombs had been regarded with grave suspicion (I beg your pardon) our
+"intelligence" people imagining them to contain buried arms, ammunition,
+or treasure. However, on our arrival at the spot, a close inspection
+made it evident that they were <i>bonâ-fide</i> affairs, not Mauser-leums,
+and by no means new as reported, so we left the rude forefathers of the
+hamlet undisturbed.</p>
+
+<p>Sunday, September 30th. We have just marched back from Doornlaagte
+through Olifant's Nek, and are camped here, a mile beyond. To-day is a
+regular Sunday-at-Home day. It has been quite a record day, especially
+for a Sabbath, for we have not heard a single Mauser go off.</p>
+
+<p>Monday, October 1st. Another month! Actually a year ago this month the
+war commenced, and there are still corners on the slate unwiped, and we,
+the poor wipers, are industriously wiping, and certainly cannot complain
+of a lack of rags. We moved out from the Nek through Krondaal and camped
+at Sterkstrom. Amongst the latest reports, false and true, we heard in
+the evening that the C.I.V.'s were off&mdash;homeward bound.</p>
+
+<p>Tuesday, October 2nd. The previous night we heard that the camp would
+not be shifted, nor was it. But we, of the Yeomanry, were. At 3.30,
+therefore, we had to arise and go out with the guns to co-operate with
+Ridley and Broadwood. After man&oelig;uvring about, we were finally posted
+on what at first appeared a kopje of no importance (in height and
+composition), but kopjes were deceivers ever, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page086" name="page086"></a>(p. 086)</span> and when we had
+got half-way up, those that had sufficient breath and energy left to
+express their opinions on kopjes in general, and this one in particular,
+did so. However, once up aloft, we were left undisturbed for the
+remainder of the day. On return to camp we found our missing sergeant
+(of September 16th, at Hekpoort). He had been a prisoner in Rustenburg
+and had got his liberty when Broadwood occupied or rather re-occupied
+the town. Whenever we go out one way the Boers come in the other, and
+<i>vice versa</i>. Though we had not played an active part in the day's
+operations, the others had, and the outing was rather a success,
+Ridley's men capturing fourteen waggons with ammunition and other stuff
+and a few prisoners.</p>
+
+<p>Thursday, October 4th. Once again our fond hopes of a day's loaf were
+crushed, for it was "up in the morning early," and hie for Bethanie.
+This little native town we reached and surrounded, and then destroyed a
+mill. On the way there we came on a recently-deserted waggon (a pot of
+coffee was boiling over a small fire). This and its contents we
+destroyed; and back, which was by a different road, we came upon and
+destroyed four or five waggons by burning them.</p>
+
+<p class="tb">*******</p>
+
+<p>The effect of Army, or rather Yeomanry life, its fatigues and worries,
+big and small, on men hitherto unaccustomed to such things, has been
+marvellous, and productive of a topsy-turvy dom of character, after Mr.
+W. S. Gilbert's own heart. To commence with, it is curious to note that
+in many cases men who claim to have roughed it in various parts of the
+world have been amongst the worst to stand the roughing here, and while
+weak-looking striplings have developed into fine hardy men; brawny,
+massive-looking fellows have shrunk to thin and useless beings. As
+regards character, after about four to six months out here one seems to
+see his fellows in all the nakedness of truth. I have seen the genial
+man turn irritable, the generous man mean, the good-tempered man
+quarrelsome, the smart and particular man slovenly, the witty man dull,
+the bow-and-arrow ideal (looking) <i>sabreur</i> anything but dashing in
+action, the old-womanly man indifferent to danger, and the objectionable
+man the best of comrades. These and other changes have I <span class="pagenum"><a id="page087" name="page087"></a>(p. 087)</span>
+noted, and often fearfully thought how have I changed, how has it
+affected me, but</p>
+
+<p class="poem30">
+  "There is no grace the giftie to gie me,<br>
+<span class="add05em">To see mysel' as ithers see me."</span></p>
+
+<p class="noindent">and perhaps it is as well.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec26" name="sec26"></a>
+<h3>Petty Annoyances&mdash;The Nigger.</h3>
+
+<a id="img012" name="img012"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img012.jpg" width="500" height="580" alt="Mails up for the Devons." title="">
+</div>
+
+<p>Friday, October 5th. We marched into Commando Nek this morning, and are
+now camped here (when I use the word "camped," I hope you do not think I
+mean tents and such-like luxurious paraphernalia, because I don't). Our
+lines have by no means fallen in a pleasant place, being on dusty ground
+by the side of the road which goes through the Nek, along which for the
+last two hours about half-a <span class="pagenum"><a id="page088" name="page088"></a>(p. 088)</span> dozen miles of convoy has been
+proceeding <i>en route</i> for Rustenburg, and what with the yelling of the
+black man and (a hundred-times-removed) brother&mdash;I allude to the
+blooming niggers&mdash;the lowing of the oxen, and the dust&mdash;well, "it ain't
+all lavender," neither is it conducive to letter-writing or good temper.
+But to own up, the above would not trouble us a bit, if we had only
+received our mails, which we have not. I had been looking forward to a
+fine batch and relying on getting them with a faith which would have
+removed kopjes, and now I am disappointed. The bitterness of the whole
+thing is that some one has blundered, for the Fifes in front have
+theirs, and the Rough Riders behind have theirs, but we, the Composite
+Squadron, are without ours. <i>Donnerwetter und Potztausand!</i> There, I had
+intended writing and telling you how much I am really enjoying myself,
+of the beauties of the veldt, its pretty little flowers, the
+multi-coloured butterflies and insects, the glorious open-air life we
+are leading and a' that; and here I am like a bear with a sore head,
+grumbling, grumbling, grumbling. And now the companion of my shelter and
+sharer of my mealie pap&mdash;I call him <i>C&oelig;ur de Lion</i> (I don't mind him
+having the heart of a lion, but I object to him having its appetite)&mdash;is
+growling, and wanting to know "when the Yeomanry are going home. We came
+out for a crisis, and if the authorities call this a crisis may he be&mdash;"
+etc., etc., as he certainly will. I have tried to pacify him with the
+following offering of the muse&mdash;but failed:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+  "Great Bugs of State. Imperial Bugs,<br>
+  The time grows heavy on our hands;<br>
+  Are the recruiting sergeants dead?<br>
+  Does khaki fail, or martial bands?<br>
+  Oh, teach the vagrant how to ride,<br>
+  The orphan boy to meet the foe;<br>
+  May Heaven melt your stony hearts,<br>
+  To let the foolish Yeoman go."</p>
+
+<a id="img013" name="img013"></a>
+<div class="floatleft">
+<img src="images/img013.jpg" width="150" height="244" alt="I&quot;kona." title="">
+</div>
+
+<p>Being under the impression that I have not made any direct reference to
+the nigger, of whom, of course, one sees a great deal, I will here give
+you my condensed opinion of this being. Left in his true state, he is, I
+believe, unobjectionable, but we have spoilt him. Our fellows have been
+too familiar with him in camp and on the march, and you know what
+familiarity breeds. He has sat or stood idle and <span class="pagenum"><a id="page089" name="page089"></a>(p. 089)</span> watched with
+indifference we white men in khaki doing work he should have been set to
+do (I have borne huge sacks and other burdens, and cursed the officers,
+who have not made use of the niggers standing idly by). He has had the
+satisfaction of knowing that while he is earning three or four shillings
+a day, Thomas Atkins is earning thirteen pence. The general result is
+that he has become deucedly independent and occasionally confoundedly
+cheeky. As a remedy, I would suggest at the conclusion of this war&mdash;that
+is, assuming it does conclude&mdash;97 per cent. of the niggers employed by
+the British Government be jolly well kicked and then set in bondage for
+half-a-dozen years, more if their case requires it.</p>
+
+<p>Our horses are nearly all done. Mine is very lame in its hind legs. As
+far as horseflesh goes, he is the least objectionable brute I have had,
+though his ignorance and lack of appreciation of kindness is appalling.
+We have drawn horseshoes for five weeks, so it does not look like
+returning to Pretoria just yet. If we had drawn horses it would have
+been more to the purpose. We are having tea now, and have just drawn our
+biscuits for the next 24 hours. They number four thinnish ones, and
+represent three-quarter rations. Even as regards biscuits, one learns a
+good deal out here. I myself know four kinds of biscuits, all as like as
+any of Spratt's gold medal ones in appearance, but varying greatly in
+taste, and consequently, popularity.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec27" name="sec27"></a>
+<h3>A Wet Night.</h3>
+
+  <p class="right10 pb_0 smcap">Commando Nek,</p>
+  <p class="right pt_0"><i>Sunday, October 7th, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p>As you can see by the above, we are still here, but expect to move
+to-morrow.</p>
+
+<p>Yesterday was hot and windy, but, beyond one incident, uneventful. Late
+in the day indigo, watery-looking clouds in the west caused some of us
+to erect blanket shelters for the coming night, and when the evening
+having come, a flash of lightning and a distant peal of thunder,
+followed by a few <span class="pagenum"><a id="page090" name="page090"></a>(p. 090)</span> spatters of rain, heralded what was to come,
+we wise virgins (pardon the simile) huddled in our booby hutches
+(unfortunately <i>without</i> lamps) and congratulated ourselves on our
+astuteness. Soon it came, the lightning flashing, the thunder crashing,
+the rain pouring, and lastly the wind blowing a perfect tornado. The
+various jerry-built domiciles stood it well for some time, then the
+hutch behind us was blown down, and we in ours roared with glee; then
+another went, and finally the wind, not being able to get at us by a
+frontal attack, took us on the flank, and up blew one blanket, and the
+rifles at the ends wavered. Then, with cries of "Close the water-tight
+compartments," "Man the pumps," "Launch the lifeboat," "Where's the
+rocket apparatus?" and such-like remarks, as used by those in peril on
+the sea, we came out and joined in the fun. The horses, seeing us all
+about, thought it must be <i>reveillé</i>, and started neighing and pawing
+the ground, expecting their grub. We were soon inside again under
+jury-rigging, and went off to sleep to the shouts of "Stable guard,
+here's a horse loose!" "Stable guard, here are three horses walking over
+us!" and the reply, "All right, I'm coming round in the captain's
+dinghy," or some such rejoinder. I could not help smiling when one of
+our fellows, in response to a cry of "Buck up, boys of the bull-dog
+breed!" remarked, "Hang it, they don't even give us kennels." In the
+small hours of the morning our hutch collapsed again, and with the
+blanket on my side supported mainly on my nose, I heedlessly slumbered
+on. At <i>reveillé</i> the greeting we gave one another was "Oh, what a
+night!" The Roughs were in a particularly happy frame of mind, though
+they had slept in the open, for their officers' tent had come down, also
+their sergeants', and the remarks of the former, "Aw, Frisby, have you
+got that wope?" "Where's that beastly peg?" "Heah, give me the hammah,"
+"Isn't it awful?" had been most soothing to them. Although I did my best
+to protect my few remaining envelopes, I have just discovered three of
+them to be well gummed down. One thing must be said to the credit of the
+rain, <i>it has laid the dust</i>, and that is no small matter.</p>
+
+<p>Monday, October 8th. Having had no mails, we sallied forth with Mr.
+Clements in the direction of Krugersdorp, with four days' rations. My
+last charger being done, <i>I've got <span class="pagenum"><a id="page091" name="page091"></a>(p. 091)</span> another 'oss</i>, and he seems
+rather a good one, though not up to my weight. Last night it came to my
+ears that the Border Regiment had got their dry canteen up from
+Pretoria, and it would be open for an hour or so, and that chocolate,
+jam, cocoa paste, tobacco and other coveted commodities would be on
+sale. So I was soon mingling with the crowd of would-be purchasers;
+several of our fellows also joined the crowd, but when it came to their
+turn to buy were turned away because they belonged not to the Border
+Regiment. I, however, had not my hat or tunic on, and as there was
+nothing about my shirt or general appearance to distinguish me from Mr.
+Thomas Atkins of the Border Regiment, I succeeded in buying four packets
+of chocolate and several tins of potted meats and jams; then, handing my
+purchases over to a friend, I again took up my position at the end of
+the queue and bought some more stuff. The prices were what is commonly
+known as popular prices, being extraordinarily low for this benighted
+land. As our four days' rations simply consist of four of the least
+popular brand of biscuits imaginable per diem and horrible stewed trek
+ox, these little purchases are coming in very handy. We camped early in
+the afternoon on the high veldt. The night was bitterly cold.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec28" name="sec28"></a>
+<h3>The Great Egg Trick.</h3>
+
+<p>Wednesday, October 10th.</p>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+  "When scouting and you must not tarry,<br>
+<span class="add2em">Of things you can borrow or beg,</span><br>
+<span class="add05em">The best, but the worst you can carry,</span><br>
+<span class="add2em">Is the excellent, succulent <i>egg</i>."</span><br>
+<span class="add6em"><i>Extract from contemplated "Loot Lyrics."</i></span></p>
+
+<p>To-day we have returned to Commando Nek, at least within a mile or so of
+it. (A cart has just come in from Rietfontein, and they say there are
+four bags of mails for the Composites, so we poor Sussex de'ils ought to
+have a look in.) We were advance party to-day, and a friend and I had
+the good luck to get a fine lot of eggs, of which I have not had any for
+a long time. As you may imagine, eggs are not very easily carried by the
+uninitiated, especially when he happens to be a horseman. The first time
+I managed to get some I got a couple from a farm down the next valley,
+and was debating how I should carry them, when the officer of our troop,
+who was just ahead, turned round and sternly told me to mount <span class="pagenum"><a id="page092" name="page092"></a>(p. 092)</span>
+and get forward, and as he stopped for me to do so, I was rather
+awkwardly situated, my rifle being in one hand and the two eggs in the
+other. However, I seized the reins somehow or other, and did the great
+egg trick successfully. Missing other feats in which I have never once
+broken or cracked even one, to-day I eclipsed all previous
+accomplishments, inasmuch as I carried in the only two tunic pockets I
+have without holes, <span class="smcap">THREE DOZEN EGGS</span> loose, and despite having to
+dismount and mount twice, brought them into camp without breaking or
+cracking one. Once or twice, when we had to do a trot, our
+sergeant-major asked why I was riding so curiously, and I told him I was
+feeling rather queer, but thought it would wear off when I reached
+camp&mdash;it did. A friend and I got these eggs in rather an amusing manner.
+We spotted a Kaffir village and riding to it, enquired at every kraal
+for eggs, "Eggs for the general&mdash;for Lord Roberts!" but, alas, they had
+none, "I'kona," signifying the negative. One enterprising youth,
+however, called to me as I was riding off and brought me four, for which
+I paid him sixpence. Then once again as we were going away, he called to
+us&mdash;evidently the pay, pay, pay of the absent-minded foreign devil has
+touched his savage heart&mdash;for lo and behold his neighbours had some for
+sale, and came forward with a dozen in a tin, then their neighbours came
+to the front with about a score, and yet another lot appeared with
+more&mdash;in all, we got fifty eggs, of which I pocketed three dozen, and
+carried the remainder in a handkerchief and surrendered them to our
+major, saying I had got them for him (he was in want of some), and thus
+appeased him. Had I carried them all in my <i>mouchoir</i> I might have lost
+the lot, but we simple Yeomen "know a thing or three," as the ancient
+ballad goes.</p>
+
+<p>We have just drawn rations for fourteen days and been joined by some
+more M.I., so it looks as if</p>
+
+<p class="poemctr">"Troops may come and troops may go,<br>
+    But we go on for ever."</p>
+<p class="noindent">"Go hon!" seems to be our call and counter cry.</p>
+
+<p class="pb_0 right5"><span class="smcap">Commando Nek</span>, <i>Friday, October 12th, 1900</i>.</p>
+<p class="pt_0 center"><i>Excerpt from proposed Christmas Panto.</i><br>
+  Place&mdash;The Transvaal. Period&mdash;Victorian.</p>
+
+<p><i>Officers' Tent.</i></p>
+
+<p>First Officer: "I heah the men are gwousing about their gwub."</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page093" name="page093"></a>(p. 093)</span> Second Officer: "Er&mdash;I think they get their wations wegularly."</p>
+
+<p>Third Officer: "Oh, dem! They're alwight. Anyhow, what do they want with
+gwub? A little more turkey and peas, and&mdash;er pass the whisky, Fwed."</p>
+
+<p><i>The Waggon.</i></p>
+
+<p>Quartermaster-Sergeant (to kindred spirit): "Look 'ere; twelve tins of
+bacon, sixteen of jam, biscuits, and a jar of rum. Lemme see; there's
+twelve of us, and twenty of them. 'Umph, that's eight tins of bacon and
+eleven of jam for us, and four of bacon and five of jam for them. Let
+'em 'ave four biscuits a man; save the best for us&mdash;don't forget&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>Kindred Spirit: "And the rum?"</p>
+
+<p>Quartermaster-Sergeant: "Confound it; I nearly forgot that.
+Oh&mdash;er&mdash;er&mdash;take 'em a cupful, and&mdash;er&mdash;say we're on half rations."</p>
+
+<div class="poem20">
+<p><i>Chorus from minor waggonites from round cook-house fire.</i></p>
+
+<p>"We don't want to fight,<br>
+<span class="add15em">And, by Jingo, if&mdash;we&mdash;do,</span><br>
+<span class="add05em">We've got the rum, we've got the tea,</span><br>
+<span class="add15em">And we've got the sugar, too."</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p><i>The Yeomen's Lines. Men just in from patrol.</i></p>
+
+<p>Man with bullet hole in hat: "Is tea up?"</p>
+
+<p>Enter orderly corporal with rations: "I say, you fellows, it's 'damall'
+again to day."</p>
+
+<p>Chorus: "<span class="spaced03">!!!???***</span>"</p>
+
+<p>Of course it is evident to you that the above extracts are from a
+burlesque written by a man in the ranks. Alas! there is a perpetual feud
+existent between "the brave, silent men at the back," and ditto those at
+the front, consequently any joke at the expense of the "waggon crowd" is
+always appreciated beyond its value. Sergeant-Major Hunt, who had been
+acting as quartermaster-sergeant for several weeks, did us remarkably
+well; but, alas, he has been invalided into Pretoria, and another has
+reigned in his stead, who has done evil in (or rather out of) our sight;
+being either incompetent or too clever. By the foregoing, you can see
+that I have not got much news to record. We expect some of the
+time-expired Police to join us on Sunday or Monday, and so, I fancy, we
+shall not move till they come up.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec29" name="sec29"></a>
+<h3><span class="pagenum"><a id="page094" name="page094"></a>(p. 094)</span> Our Friend "Nobby."</h3>
+
+<a id="img014" name="img014"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img014.jpg" width="300" height="534" alt="Nobby." title="">
+</div>
+
+<p>We often get some of the Border men in our lines, and, like all of the
+Regulars, they are most entertaining, though their statements usually
+require a few grains of salt before swallowing. One of these bold Border
+men, known to us as "Nobby," is awfully disgusted at my bad habit of
+letter writing. As a rule I am scribbling when he strolls up, and get
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page095" name="page095"></a>(p. 095)</span> greeted with the jeering remark, "At it again." Some days
+back, after reflectively expectorating, he delivered himself thus on
+letter writing: "I don't often write. When I do, I sez 'I'm all right;
+'ow's yerself?' A soldier's got too much to do to write blooming
+letters." Then he retailed terrible stories of Spion Kop, Pieter's Hill,
+and other affairs. Amongst his loot stories I know the following to be a
+fact; its hero has since been court-martialled. One of the men in
+Clements' Force, being <i>en route</i>, visited a house, and, producing his
+emergency rations (these are contained in a curious little tin case),
+threatened to blow the house and its occupants to kingdom-come unless
+they complied with his request for eggs, bread, coffee, etc. They
+complied, but, unfortunately for the man in question, a nigger belonging
+to the place followed him into camp, and reported the case. Mr. Thomas
+Atkins of the Line has curious notions about the distances he marches.
+Of course, he is a grand marcher, and has done remarkable distances and
+times in this campaign; still, occasionally he makes one smile, when it
+is a known fact that the Force has just covered ten miles, by
+emphatically swearing that his battalion has done twenty. For
+cheeriness, the fellows I have met would take a lot of beating, and
+their pride in their own particular regiments is a very pleasing trait,
+though frequently it leads them to be rough on other by no means
+unworthy corps.</p>
+
+<p>From the dry canteen of the Border Regiment I was fortunate enough
+yesterday to procure two dozen boxes of matches, a packet of six
+candles, a quarter-of-a-pound of Navy Cut, notepaper and envelopes. The
+latter I got none too soon, as my last gumless envelope I stuck down
+with jam. Candles are a luxury I have been without for many months, and
+matches have been worth sixpence a box. I bought them at a penny, and
+the candles at 1/6 the packet. We have the Yorkshire Light Infantry with
+us now in place of the Worcesters.</p>
+
+<p>Saturday, October 13th.</p>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+  The law which sways our generals' ways,<br>
+<span class="add1em">Is mystery to me;</span><br>
+  Though we of course, both foot and horse<br>
+<span class="add1em">Fulfil each strange decree.</span></p>
+
+<p>This morning we had <i>reveillé</i> at five and moved off up the <span class="pagenum"><a id="page096" name="page096"></a>(p. 096)</span>
+valley at about seven, the Infantry going on the Magaliesberg. This
+being the case, of course our progress was slow, and the distance
+covered at the most six miles. We are going to be joined in a few days'
+time by detachments of our Police, who are coming out from the flesh
+pots of Pretoria. Two Sussex officers are coming with them and we expect
+about fifty men. To-day I had to go into a barn and pry about for arms
+and ammunition on the off chance. I did not find anything in that line,
+but got covered with fleas, a hundred or so&mdash;so I have been well
+occupied since I have been in camp. We rode through some grand crops of
+oats, wheat and barley; in one field the wheat was so high as to reach
+to our horses' ears. Where I got my fleas, or rather they got me, there
+was a grand garden with orange trees (no fruit), peaches coming on, figs
+also, and pomegranates in blossom. In a corner of this deserted garden I
+came across a real, old-fashioned English rose, of the kind usually and
+irreverently called "cabbage." The occasion seemed to call for an
+effort, so here it is:</p>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+  An old-fashioned English rose<br>
+<span class="add1em">In the far-off Transvaal land;</span><br>
+  Smelt by an English nose,<br>
+<span class="add1em">And plucked by an English hand.</span></p>
+
+<p class="noindent">This evening we had tents served out to us. Last night we had a deal of
+thunder and lightning, but no rain. It was very close, and most of us
+slept, or tried to sleep, in our shirt-sleeves. About four days before,
+on the high veldt, we had frost on our blankets in the morning.</p>
+
+<p>Monday, October 15th. Yesterday we only marched a few miles, and to-day
+we have done even less. The Infantry marching along the Magaliesberg
+searching the kloofs, farms at the base, and such-like, rendering
+progress, of necessity, slow. Behind us, every day now, we leave burning
+houses and waggons. Colonel Legge, who has taken over Ridley's command,
+is doing the same a little ahead of us on our left front, and Broadwood
+likewise on the other side of the Magaliesberg. Since leaving Commando
+Nek our column has found and destroyed nearly three dozen good waggons
+and numerous deserted farms. It seems rather rough, but leniency has
+proved the stumbling block of the campaign, and now we are doing what
+any other than a British Army would have done months ago. Our camp is
+near a deserted <span class="pagenum"><a id="page097" name="page097"></a>(p. 097)</span> farm. The house is, of course, now gutted out,
+but around it are fields of bearded barley, golden wheat and oats, a
+lovely grove of limes, and rows of ripening figs, peaches and red
+blossoming pomegranates. This morning I had a fine bathe in a pool near
+by, and was washing my one and only shirt, when I heard that honey was
+being got near the lime grove, so jumped into my breeks and boots, and
+tying my wet shirt round my neck, rushed up to have a look in. A lot of
+silly, laughing niggers were the principal <i>personæ</i> in the little
+comedy. There were two or three hives, and after a little smoking I went
+and helped myself; at the next hive I did pretty well, but at the next,
+after I had inserted my hand into it and taken several pieces of comb,
+the bees went for us in style. I had put on my shirt by that time,
+fortunately for me; as it was, I had them buzzing all round my head, and
+got fairly well stung; two got into one of my boots and jobbed their
+tails, which were hot, into my bare ankle, several stung my hands, arms
+and forehead, and one got me exactly on the tip of my nose. However, I
+have felt no inconvenience from any of the stings, in spite of being
+without the blue-bag. Our reinforcements of ex-Police have not turned up
+yet; we are looking forward to seeing them, because they are sure to
+bring our mails. My horse has developed a bad off hock, now. Like the
+poet:</p>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+  "I never had a decent horse,<br>
+  Which was a treat to ride,<br>
+  But came the usual thing, of course,<br>
+  It sickened or it died."</p>
+
+<p>Tuesday, October 16th. The animal referred to above went a lovely purler
+with me this morning, turning a somersault and finishing by laying
+across my right leg. It was some time before I could get help, and then
+only a man came and sat on the brute's head to keep him down. I was
+grasping his two hind hoofs, which were within a few inches of my face,
+and preventing them from "pushing it in." At length, the doctor and his
+orderly galloped up, and the latter, dismounting, grasped the horse's
+tail, and pulled him off far enough for me to free my leg. Apart from
+rather a bad back, I am all serene.</p>
+
+<p>Our friend, "Nobby of the Borders," visited us last night. I don't think
+that is his real name, and am not <span class="pagenum"><a id="page098" name="page098"></a>(p. 098)</span> anxious to know. To us he
+is, and always will be, "Nobby." He was tired, having been on the kopjes
+for the best part of the day, but interesting as ever.</p>
+
+<p class="poemctr">"Art thou weary, art thou langwidge?"</p>
+
+<p class="noindent">he quoted after a reflective expectoration, which just missed my right
+foot. "That's a hymn, ain't it?" he queried with the air of a man of
+knowledge. We replied in the affirmative, and then, curious to hear his
+religious convictions, asked him about them. "Yes, I believe in
+religion," said Nobby, "I was confirmed and converted or whatever it is,
+some time ago. And I tell you, since I've been out 'ere in this war I've
+felt certain about Gawd. Spion Kop and Pieter's 'Ill made yer think, I
+can tell yer." And then waxing wrath about certain of his comrades, he
+inveighed thus: "And yet there's some &mdash;&mdash; &mdash;&mdash; fellers in the reg'ment
+'oo will &mdash;&mdash; &mdash;&mdash; say there ain't a Gawd. But those &mdash;&mdash; &mdash;&mdash;
+&mdash;&mdash; beggars are always &mdash;&mdash; &mdash;&mdash; arguing about every &mdash;&mdash; thing." If Mr.
+Burdett-Coutts wants any corroboration in respect to his exposure of the
+inner working of certain military hospitals, let him apply to Private
+"Nobby" of the Borderers. He was an enteric patient at No. 1 Field
+Hospital, Modderspruit, and the tales he tells of his own uncared-for
+sufferings, and the even worse ones of comrades, show, alas, that the
+hospital can, and does often contain, as well as kind, self-sacrificing,
+skilful doctors, doctors and medical orderlies who are brutal, selfish,
+and absolutely callous. He speaks well of the nurses, I am glad to say.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec30" name="sec30"></a>
+<h3>"The Roughs" leave us for Pretoria.</h3>
+
+<p class="right10 pb_0 smcap">Nooitgedacht,</p>
+<p class="right5 pt_0">(A little beyond Hekpoort).</p>
+
+<p>Wednesday, October 17th, 1900. Late last night our friends the Roughs
+(72nd I.Y.) received the order to return to Pretoria at once. So they
+left us this morning. And here are we, the Silly Sussex, still sticking
+to it, like flies on treacled paper. As Nobby says, "Grouse all day and
+you're happy. That's the way in the Army." He is quite right, and I am
+sure most of us Yeomen, myself unexcepted, have the true military
+spirit. For we really ought to be very good and contented in this
+charming valley, where, "if it were not <span class="pagenum"><a id="page099" name="page099"></a>(p. 099)</span> for the kopjes and the
+snipers in between," we might lead a perfect Arcadian life. I shall miss
+our Roughs. Some of them are rare good fellows, and always cheery. To
+see a Rough come into camp after a good day's scouting on the farmhouse
+side of the valley, was a sight never to be forgotten. Across his
+saddle, <i>à la</i> open scissors, would be two large pieces of wood, usually
+fence posts; oranges dropping from his nosebag; on one side of his
+saddle a fowl and a duck on the other; a small porker from his
+haversack; the ends of onions or such like vegetables would be
+protruding, and his broad-brimmed hat or bashed-in helmet would be
+garlanded with peach blossoms, resembling a joyous Bacchanalian, and the
+unshaven, dirty face underneath wreathed in smiles. We have destroyed a
+lot more waggons and houses, and lifted several hundred of cattle,
+besides getting some prisoners. How the women must hate us! Their faces
+are invariably concealed by the large sunbonnets which they wear, year
+in and year out. These articles of headgear have huge flapping sides,
+which their wearers apparently always use for wiping their eyes or noses
+with. This custom or fashion saves them a deal of time and trouble in
+fumbling for the usual inaccessible pocket. I daresay you have often
+read that the veldt is burnt by the Boers, to make our khaki visible on
+the black ground. More often than not a veldt fire is caused by
+accident, not design, a carelessly-dropped match doing the trick. As
+regards showing up our khaki, it is bad for dismounted fellows, but for
+the mounted men preferable to the sun-dried grass, for as nearly all our
+horses are bays, roans, chestnuts or blacks, they show up terribly on
+unburnt stuff and are almost invisible on the burnt.</p>
+
+<p>Thursday, October 18th. We are very up-to-date out here, as the
+following will show you:</p>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+  'Twas uttered in vast London city<br>
+  By <i>lion comiques</i> without pity,<br>
+  Provincial towns were not belated,<br>
+  But showed they, too, were educated;<br>
+  In many a rustic, quiet retreat,<br>
+  Bucolics, too, would not be beat;<br>
+  At last <i>It</i> crossed the mighty main,<br>
+  Did Britain's latest great inane,<br>
+  And we out here in deep despair,<br>
+  Have been informed that <i>There is 'air</i>.</p>
+
+<p class="noindent"><span class="pagenum"><a id="page100" name="page100"></a>(p. 100)</span> I am pleased to record that the beauty of this epoch-making
+remark and the evident subtle charm underlying it, has not yet dawned
+upon any of the troops with which I have come in contact, and so, apart
+from being aware of its existence, it has molested me in no degree. Even
+the Transvaal has its compensations. Look at the moral and intellectual
+damages one escapes&mdash;occasionally. Whiteing managed to get some rather
+good books at an untenanted house a few days ago. Byron's Complete
+Works, two Art Journal Christmas numbers (Burne-Jones and Holman Hunt),
+"Henry Esmond," and others. He gave me Henry George on "Progress and
+Poverty," and two or three works of a devotional nature. The latter I
+gave Nobby last night in the dark. Our conversations in the ranks are
+very diversified. A few days back we were arguing as to which is the
+better&mdash;a treacle pudding or a plain suet pudding with treacle. We were
+interrupted in the middle by a few snipers potting at us. This morning
+we stopped in the midst of a most interesting discussion on Aubrey
+Beardsley as a decorative artist and the influence of Burne-Jones and
+Japanese art on his earlier work, to kill fowls and loot eggs. Our bag
+was eight cacklers and six eggs&mdash;which have just proved to be, as I
+feared, addled. Lately we have had a really lazy time of it, the poor
+Infantry scouring the hills and we leisurely riding a few miles along
+the plain as advance or rearguard, and then camping by about mid-day.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec31" name="sec31"></a>
+<h3>The breaking up of the Composite Squadron.</h3>
+
+<p>Friday, October 19th. Yesterday evening the Devons and Dorsets were
+rejoined by their ex-policemen, over a hundred in number. They looked
+very fit, and appeared pleased to get on the column again. The Devons
+have their popular officer, Captain Bolitho, with them again. The Sussex
+did not turn up. However, they and the Somersets are expected to-morrow.
+As regards mails, we were not wholly disappointed. I got one batch of
+letters, bearing the home postmark of September 14th, also some
+newspapers. In one of the latter was a very florid four-column account
+by a famous "War Special," of the doings of Rundle's Starving Eighth. It
+included a picturesque description of one of those <span class="pagenum"><a id="page101" name="page101"></a>(p. 101)</span> common
+occurrences, a veldt fire. "And now the flames roll onward with their
+beautifully-rounded curves sweeping gracefully into the unknown, like
+the rich, ripe lips of a wanton woman in the pride of her shameless
+beauty," and so on, at much length. I read Nobby portions of this
+article, but, alas! the hardy Parnassian mountaineer was too much for
+him. "Wot's it all about?" he queried, "I can't rumble to the bloke." I
+explained to a certain extent, for Nobby had been with the force in
+question. "Well, 'e can sling the bat," observed my Border friend, and
+we discussed and criticised various officers and the Army in general.
+The freshly-joined men brought with them nice new iron picketing pegs,
+which we who had long since lost or broken ours, eyed with covetous
+optics, and determined to possess later, if possible. Their lines were
+laid in a mealie field, and pulled-up pegs might well be expected. At
+midnight a clanking noise near my recumbent form, strongly reminiscent
+of our ancestral ghost, the dark Sir Jasper, dragging his clanking chain
+after him at that hour, as is his wont, aroused me. Of course, it was a
+horse which had pulled up his picketing peg and was searching for fresh
+fields or fodder new. I quickly grasped the situation and the peg, and
+now have no trouble when the pleasant words "'Smount. Pile arms. Off
+saddle. <i>Picket</i> and feed!" greet my ear.</p>
+
+<p>Saturday, October 20th. Yesterday we returned towards Hekpoort, and the
+order for the day was "The Force will halt." Now this is one of the
+finest of life's little ironies which the Imperial Yeomen experience out
+here. "The Force will halt"&mdash;every time this cheerful intelligence is
+conveyed to us, we know we are in for something extra in the way of
+"moving on." To-day's "halt" has been a ten-mile halt, we having been
+ordered to proceed down the valley and guard a small bridle path across
+the Magaliesberg Range; Steyn, De Wet, or Delarey, being expected to try
+and get through at this particular point. The last time the Force
+halted, our halt was a 20 or 30 mile one to Bethanie. The time before a
+big patrol; and another halt consisted of a ride out several miles to
+open sundry graves which were suspected of being Mauser-leums, but were
+not.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec32" name="sec32"></a>
+<h3><span class="pagenum"><a id="page102" name="page102"></a>(p. 102)</span> Life on a Kopje.</h3>
+
+  <p class="right10 pb_0 smcap">Blok Kloof,</p>
+<p class="right5 pb_0 pt_0">(About half-way between Hekpoort<br>
+  and Commando Nek).</p>
+<p class="right pt_0"><i>Sunday, October 21st, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p>Can it be the Sabbath? Last night I was in charge of one of the pickets
+on top of the already referred to kopje. The ascent of that kopje, oh
+dear! This morning I was sent on to another kopje directly in front of
+the one we had occupied during the night, to find out if an infantry
+picket was holding it. The going was too awful. As usual, the distance
+was greater than it looked, and only having had half-a-messtinful of
+coffee and a biscuit for breakfast on the preceding day, and a mouthful
+of half-boiled trek ox, which had to be gulped down before ascending the
+iniquitous hill in the evening, minus tea and water, I did not half
+appreciate the lovely sunrise and view which were to be seen gratis from
+the various summits. It was a long time before I got back to our little
+encampment (I slipped down on the rocks several times from sheer
+exhaustion), and found to my delight that coffee had been kept for me. I
+wolfed it all, the grounds not excepted, and, bar stiffness and,
+paradoxical to remark, a general feeling of slackness, was soon myself
+again. Our Sussex ex-Police, about fifty in number, are at another nek
+about a mile off, under Messrs. McLean and Wynne. Of course, they have
+not brought our mails; they managed to call for them when the office was
+closed. I was sorry to hear that a friend in the Devons (Trooper
+Middleton), who went into hospital the last time we were at Pretoria,
+has since died of enteric.</p>
+
+<p>Monday, October 22nd. It really seems absurd giving days names out here!
+To-day, we Sussex men, who number about half-a-dozen, are being exempted
+from duty, as we expect to join our fellows who are at the other little
+pass. Once the various companies are re-formed, we shall be under a sort
+of new old <i>régime</i>. We are wondering anxiously what our fresh cooks
+will be like. The ones we have at present are not bad fellows; indeed, I
+call them Sid and 'Arry, which means an extra half-pannikin of tea or
+coffee. Yesterday afternoon we had a gorgeous thunderstorm, the
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page103" name="page103"></a>(p. 103)</span> lightning being incessant. I laid under some trees with a
+blanket and overcoat covering me, smoking, and with one hand slightly
+protruding, holding a <i>Tit-Bits</i> paper, which I read till it became too
+pulpy. A couple of our Sussex fellows have just ridden in; their lot
+strike camp and return as far as Rietfontein this evening, and so this
+letter goes with them.</p>
+
+<p>Tuesday, October 23rd. Still at the same place. Yesterday, at about the
+identical hour as on the preceding day, a big thunderstorm came on us,
+but the comparison was as that of a curtain-raiser to a five-act drama,
+for yesterday's storm lasted well into the night, and drenched most of
+us thoroughly. When a few days ago we were ordered here, we were told to
+take only one blanket, and I, like most other fellows, stupidly obeyed
+and took a thin one, through which the rain comes as through a sieve. We
+were under the impression that our kit waggon would be sent after us,
+but oh dear no, that is eight miles back in Mr. Clements' camp. For
+kopje work Thomas A. gets extra rations and a daily rum allowance; we
+have been drawing less rations, and as for rum, ne'er a sniff o't. My
+overcoat is simply invaluable, and keeps me drier than some of the
+fellows. When you get wet out here, there is no one to come and worry
+you to be sure and change all your clothes, especially your socks. It
+would not do if there were, because, like the London cabbies, we never
+have any change!</p>
+
+<p class="tb">*******</p>
+
+<p>Now the sun is shining, and our blankets and various raiment are drying,
+but it's 10 to 1 that about four we shall have a repetition of
+yesterday. Our present home is a veritable insect kingdom. Over, under
+and around us and our meagre belongings, crawl ants small, medium and
+big; bugs and beetles of all sects and denominations; all sorts and
+conditions of flies from the small pest to the tsezee view us with
+interest; as do also caterpillars and other centipedian and millipedian
+crawlers; wood lice and the domestic shirt ones, which, like the poor,
+we have always with us; spiders of all sizes, including tarantulas; and,
+in addition, lizards and rats, while on the kopje, baboons walk about
+chattering all sorts of unintelligible witticisms about us.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page104" name="page104"></a>(p. 104)</span> Wednesday, October 24th. As predicted, we got our thunderstorm
+all right yesterday evening. For about half-an-hour the lightning never
+seemed to cease flickering about and jagging through the clouds, but the
+rain was not so bad. This morning the Fifes are sending into Rietfontein
+for mails. I hope we shall get some. I am handing this in for the post.
+As we only came here for twenty-four hours, we are not well off for
+literature or writing paper, though I brought some of the latter in my
+haversack: hence these lines. We shall soon have been here a week. The
+last time we went out for three days we remained out six weeks. I am a
+wonderful scavenger now. You should see me pitch like a hawk upon a
+dirty and torn ancient paper or book. As a result of a morning's work in
+that line, I am luxuriously reclining on my overcoat and reading a
+<i>Spectator</i>, after which I shall regale myself on the lighter and less
+solid contents of <i>Tit-Bits;</i> later, I shall go round and swap them for
+other papers or magazines. A lot of us are dreadfully afraid of doing
+strange things when we get back to civilised life, such as asking for
+the "&mdash;&mdash; &mdash;&mdash; salt" at dinner, diving our hands or knives into the
+dishes <i>immediately</i> on their appearance and securing the best pieces
+after the manner of the Israelite priests with the hooks in the
+flesh-pots, commandeering fruit, fowls, eggs, or vegetables from our
+neighbours' gardens, wiping our knives and hands on our breeches or
+putties after a course, or a hundred other habits which have become so
+natural to us now. My greatest fear is that in a moment of
+absent-mindedness I shall, if tired, throw myself down on some cab rank
+where the horses are standing still and with my head pillowed on my arm
+and a foot twisted in a rein take a forty winks, so accustomed have I
+become to the close proximity of 'osses, waking and sleeping.</p>
+
+<p>Thursday, October 25th. This time two months hence it will be Christmas,
+and it looks as if, after all, I shall be spending it out here "far from
+home," cheerfully grumbling like a true British soldier, while the
+waggon crowd and sergeants' mess are enjoying most of <i>our share</i> of the
+Christmas tucker and other luxuries which are sure to be sent out. And
+you away in dear old Merrie England in be-hollyed and be-mistletoe'd
+homes enjoying your turkeys, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page105" name="page105"></a>(p. 105)</span> puddings, and all that goes to
+make Christmas the festive season of goodwill, when families and friends
+re-unite for a short while, and eat, drink, and gossip generally, will,
+I am sure, amidst the festival, pause now and again to think of the
+wanderers on the veldt, and more than likely toast them in champagne,
+port, sherry, elder, or orange wine. That is if we are not home. If we
+are, we shall show ourselves thoroughly capable of doing the above
+ourselves; and as for gossip, heaven help ye, gentles! I suppose the
+Christmas numbers are out already, with the usual richly-coloured
+supplements of the cheerful order, such as a blood-stained khaki wreck
+saying good-bye to his pard, or the troop Christmas pudding (I s'pose I
+ought to say duff) dropped on the ground. But a truce to all such
+thoughts, perhaps we shall get home after all, and again p'r'aps not.</p>
+
+<p>Eleven thirty a.m. Have just had an awful shock to my nervous system. A
+sergeant has been up and served us out with the first Yeomanry comforts
+we have ever seen, much less had. Each of us has received a 1/4-lb. tin
+of Sextant Navy Cut tobacco. For the present, I cannot write more, I am
+too overcome.</p>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>Resumed.</i>)</p>
+
+<p>I feel more composed now. We have just been told that two cases of
+"comforts" were sent out to us, but have been rifled of their best
+contents; so farewell to condensed milk, sardines, jam, etc.</p>
+
+<p>Last night I was on the kopje again. Paget or somebody else being
+reported as driving the Boers towards this range of hills (Magaliesberg)
+we were told to be specially vigilant. The night was as dark as Erebus,
+and my turn to post the relief came on at eleven, the post being about
+forty yards away from where we were sleeping, and the intervening ground
+a perfect rockery, the task of getting there was no particular fun. As I
+relieved the post every hour-and-a-half, I had four or five stumbling,
+ankle-twisting, shin-barking journeys. At about two we had the usual
+storm, and the accompanying lightning was most useful in illuminating me
+on my weary way. The descent of the kopje this morning was, I think,
+more fagging than the previous evening's ascent, though quicker as you
+can imagine. Then came the cause of my wrath. The Fifes, who went after
+mails, had <span class="pagenum"><a id="page106" name="page106"></a>(p. 106)</span> returned, and there were none for us&mdash;of course.
+However,</p>
+
+<p class="poemctr">"Hope springs eternal in the Yeoman's breast."</p>
+
+<p>Some more fellows have gone into Rietfontein to-day, and there is just
+the chance.</p>
+
+<p>An hour ago I had a most necessary shave and wash. All the pieces of
+looking-glass in the possession of the squadron having long since been
+lost or reduced to the smallest of atoms, this operation has to be
+performed without a mirror, though now and again Narcissus-like, I catch
+a glimpse of my features in the soapy, dirty water.</p>
+
+<p>Friday, October 26th. It rained all last night, and has hardly left off
+yet. I have not a dry rag to my name. Even my martial cloak is sopping,
+though the lining is what, considering all things, I might call dry. So
+sitting on my upturned saddle beneath a weeping (not willow) tree, on
+the branches of which my wet blanket is spread above my head, I am going
+to amuse myself by writing letters. We have a few tents here, but as it
+is fifteen to a tent, and asphyxiation is not a death we devoted band of
+five Sussex men have an inclination for, we are continuing our out-door
+life. Consequently, we are now sitting on our saturated haunches
+awaiting sunshine above, smoking our pipes, and wondering when the war
+will come to a genuine end. What a number of officers have gone home
+sick&mdash;of it! Our friends the Fifes are awfully good fellows, and the
+best managed Yeomanry Squadron I have seen out here. Yesterday evening
+we were guests at a little sing-song round their fire, and partakers of
+their hospitality in the way of hot cocoa. Alas, the rain speedily
+brought what promised to be an enjoyable evening to an end, and it was
+every man to his own tent, booby hutch, or cloak and blanket. I was
+actually the recipient of two letters and a parcel yesterday evening,
+thanks undoubtedly to a mistake somewhere or other. The making of a
+correct declaration of the contents of a parcel and their approximate
+value, as required by the postal authorities, and the sticking of the
+same on the parcel which is to gladden the heart of the man in khaki far
+away, is, I fear, a dangerous thing to do. Take, for example, a package,
+the contents of which are veraciously announced on the affixed slip as
+"Tobacco, cigarettes, chocolate, pipe, and shirt; value £1 10s."&mdash;your
+friend's <span class="pagenum"><a id="page107" name="page107"></a>(p. 107)</span> chances of getting it are about 50 to 1 against; but
+the same parcel with the brief announcement "Shirt and socks; value 5s."
+would probably reach him some day. A Fife friend tells me he now and
+again gets a large medicine bottle of&mdash;well, what would it be for a
+Scotchman? well-corked and marked "Developing Solution."</p>
+
+<p>Saturday, October 27th. Still at the above address. Nothing of note to
+record. Flies an awful nuisance on us and everything. Fellows would not
+believe that the jam ration has been so reduced in bulk by flies. Some
+people won't believe anything&mdash;fortunately I had my share first, and
+perhaps I did take a <i>leetle</i> too much. No news of possibility of
+getting home by Christmas or the New Year. I feel vicious, and somebody
+must suffer, so here goes.</p>
+
+<p>N.B.&mdash;I hold the late Alfred Lord Tennyson partly responsible.</p>
+
+
+<p class="poem30">THE YEOMAN.</p>
+
+<p class="quote">(Dedicated to the Fife, Dorset, Devon, Somerset, and Sussex
+     Imperial Yeomanry Squadrons.)</p>
+
+<p class="quote">"The War has grown flat, stale, and unprofitable as a topic for
+     conversation."&mdash;<i>Extract from Editorial Notes in "Black and
+     White," September 20th.</i></p>
+
+<div class="poem20">
+<p>We came from many a town and shire,<br>
+<span class="add1em">From road, and street, and alley,</span><br>
+  And, filled with patriotic fire,<br>
+<span class="add1em">Around the flag did rally.</span></p>
+
+<p>For many thousand miles we sailed,<br>
+<span class="add1em">Till reached was Afric's strand;</span><br>
+  At Cape Town for some weeks we stayed,<br>
+<span class="add1em">Not yet on foeman's land.</span></p>
+
+<p>At last we got the word to move,<br>
+<span class="add1em">To join the fighting army;</span><br>
+  And so we left our peaceful groove,<br>
+<span class="add1em">With fighting lust half balmy.</span></p>
+
+<p>Away we marched o'er dusty ways,<br>
+<span class="add1em">Through spruit and blooming donga,</span><br>
+  For chilly nights and burning days,<br>
+<span class="add1em">With feelings ever stronger.</span></p>
+
+<p>We passed Milishy on the road,<br>
+<span class="add1em">And heard their imprecations</span><br>
+  Because they bore the Empire's load<br>
+<span class="add1em">Upon communications.</span></p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page108" name="page108"></a>(p. 108)</span> At last we joined Lord Roberts' force,<br>
+<span class="add1em">And later we did sever,</span><br>
+  And got attached to bold Mahon's Horse,<br>
+<span class="add1em">For we go on for ever.</span></p>
+
+<p>With Hamilton and Mahon we went<br>
+<span class="add1em">Due east to wet Balmoral;</span><br>
+  Where oh! an awful night we spent.<br>
+<span class="add1em">What ho! the victor's laurel!</span></p>
+
+<p>Then west we rode to catch De Wet&mdash;<br>
+<span class="add1em">We thought 'twas now or never;</span><br>
+  But he, in his particular way,<br>
+<span class="add1em">And we, go on for ever.</span></p>
+
+<p>To Rustenburg we went with Mahon<br>
+<span class="add1em">The wily Boers to scatter;</span><br>
+  Burnt many a farm and useful barn,<br>
+<span class="add1em">And got&mdash;our clothes a-tatter.</span></p>
+
+<p>Then later, we did join Clements,<br>
+<span class="add1em">From him to part, oh, never!</span><br>
+  For wars may cease, and wars commence,<br>
+<span class="add1em">But we go on for ever.</span></p>
+
+<p>We grumble, grumble, as we roam<br>
+<span class="add1em">Beside the hills or river,</span><br>
+  For troops we hear are going home,<br>
+<span class="add1em">But we go on for ever.</span></p>
+
+<p>We steal (we call it loot out here)<br>
+<span class="add1em">The foeman's fowls and tucker,</span><br>
+  And now and then we come off well,<br>
+<span class="add1em">And now and then a mucker.</span></p>
+
+<p>We've marched by night to catch the foe,<br>
+<span class="add1em">Yet spite each bold endeavour,</span><br>
+  Crises may come and crises go,<br>
+<span class="add1em">But <i>this</i> goes on for ever.</span></p>
+
+<p>At home, first China, then elections,<br>
+<span class="add1em">Have claimed their keen attention;</span><br>
+  Now football, crimes, and other things&mdash;<br>
+<span class="add1em">The War they seldom mention.</span></p>
+
+<p>Soon our nearest and our dearest<br>
+<span class="add1em">Won't think our generals clever,</span><br>
+  If we and this confounded War<br>
+<span class="add1em">Keep going on for ever.</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Sunday, October 28th. Last night we ascended Avernus again, and did the
+usual guard on the summit. Of course, we had some rain and its
+concomitants. Apart from that, and the circumstance of the
+sergeant-major of the Dorsets, who is 6-ft. 3-ins., and scales 15 stone,
+treading on my head in the dark in mistake for a rock, nothing of note
+occurred. <span class="pagenum"><a id="page109" name="page109"></a>(p. 109)</span> As regards the incident alluded to, it lends
+significance to my being occasionally referred to as "Peter," thanks to
+my suggestive initials, P.T.R. Hence it seems natural for me to be
+mistaken for a rock. Still, I trust these mistakes will not often
+happen.</p>
+
+<p>On Monday (October 29th), Captain McLean, of rowing fame, and Lieutenant
+Wynne marched up to Blok Kloof with the ex-Policemen of the Sussex
+Squadron, and we, having first been paraded before Sir Elliot&mdash;who in a
+few kind words severed his connection with us, to our regret, as
+captain&mdash;rejoined our former comrades. The other squadron of the 7th
+Battalion of West Somerset Yeomanry, under Captain Harris, was left for
+duty at Rietfontein.</p>
+
+<p>Colonel Browne (we were all pleased to hear of his promotion this month)
+having received orders to withdraw from the Kloof and rejoin Clements at
+Hekpoort, gave the order for us to be ready to march off at dusk. Soon
+after sunset, rain, which had been threatening all day, commenced to
+fall, and we had a rather uncomfortable night march to Hekpoort. We
+reached there at midnight, turned-in on the wet veldt for a few hours
+and were up again at four. That day we were rearguard and going in a
+south-westerly direction marched through Hartley's Nek (in the
+Witwatersberg) and encamped the other side.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec33" name="sec33"></a>
+<h3>Death and Burial of Captain Hodge.</h3>
+
+<p>On October the 31st we were right flank to Cyperfontein, and came in for
+the inevitable sniping. Mushrooms, which were very abundant on the veldt
+we were traversing, were collected by many of us, and on our arrival in
+camp cooked in a stew or fried in Maconochie bacon fat. We also came
+upon two Boer waggons under some trees, from which we obtained a huge
+loaf of mealie bread and some useful enamelled tin ware&mdash;likewise a
+basin of excellent custard. Several women thereupon came up from a house
+not far off and protested against our pillaging the waggons, as they
+only contained their property. "And their men?" we queried. They had
+none, knew nothing about any. A cock crowed in the neighbourhood, was
+located and promptly commandeered, and at the same moment, Boleno
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page110" name="page110"></a>(p. 110)</span> (not his real name) triumphantly emerged from one of the
+waggons with a fine pair of spurs and a quantity of tobacco; the simple
+Boer women had to accept us as unbelievers.</p>
+
+<p>Further afield and unknown to us, the Fifes were having a warm time. It
+was only when we got into camp that we heard from our old friend,
+Sergeant Pullar, that their gallant and popular Captain (Chapell-Hodge
+of the 12th Lancers) had been severely wounded in retiring his men from
+a kopje to which they had advanced in scouting. He died the following
+night at Vlakfontein,<a id="footnotetag6" name="footnotetag6"></a><a href="#footnote6" title="Go to footnote 6"><span class="smaller">[6]</span></a> and was buried the next (Friday) morning.</p>
+
+<p>As my horse had gone a bit lame, I was riding with the convoy that day,
+and so was able to wait and attend the funeral. I doubt the Fifes will
+ever forget that day.</p>
+
+<p>With <i>reveillé</i> rain began to pour in torrents. The advance and flanking
+parties moved out of camp, the Fifes had been told off for rearguard, on
+account of the funeral. Presently the convoy began to get under way with
+a lowing of oxen and cracking of whips, mingled with the bleating of
+captured flocks of sheep and goats. Standing under a tree beside my
+horse I waited; through the blinding rain I could see the ox teams by
+our Yeomanry lines swinging round in response to the niggers' shouts and
+whips, and with a gurring and creaking the waggons one by one took their
+place in the lengthy procession, disappearing in the dense atmosphere.
+One tent had been left standing, right and left of its entrance were
+drawn up the firing party and the rest of the squadron; leaving my horse
+I fell in with them. The sergeants presently emerged bearing on a
+stretcher, sewn up in the ordinary brown military blanket, the mortal
+remains of their captain. Then through the never-ceasing rain, splashing
+through pools of muddy water sometimes ankle deep, we slowly made our
+way to the back of a farm some <span class="pagenum"><a id="page111" name="page111"></a>(p. 111)</span> fifty yards away, where at the
+feet of some huge blue gum trees, a grave had been dug. Several of the
+firing party who had no cloaks had their waterproof sheets over their
+shoulders, I noticed one man with a corn sack. Colonel Browne read the
+Service, the rain splashing on his little Prayer Book. The body was
+reverently lowered by means of a couple of ammunition belts from a
+machine gun, and the three rounds cracked strangely in the rain-laden
+air, the water dripping from the rifles. After the firing, one of the
+party, a dour-looking Scot, void of all sentiment I should have thought
+(God forgive me!) stooped, and picking some objects out of the mud,
+thrust them into a handy pocket. They were his three empty cartridge
+cases. Then the Fifes sorrowfully marched away, leaving their beloved
+captain behind them. Happy Fifes to have possessed so good an officer!
+Unhappy Fifes to have lost him!</p>
+
+<p class="tb">*******</p>
+
+<p>Returning to where my poor saturated horse was miserably standing, I
+mounted and slowly rode along with the convoy. After going some miles, I
+was pleased to see the waggons turning off the slippery track on to the
+veldt and outspanning. Seeing close by the road, lying on the site of a
+former camp, sheets of corrugated iron from the roofs and other parts of
+a few wrecked and deserted houses in the neighbourhood, I dismounted and
+secured two large bent ones (these placed on the ground like an inverted
+V form excellent shelters for tentless men), and proceeded to carry them
+and drag my steed towards the camp. It was a long way and an awful fag.
+At length through the pelting rain, there bore down upon the Sussex
+Yeomanry lines two large bent sheets of galvanised iron, cursing
+horribly and followed by a dripping horse. Suddenly the sheets fell
+clattering to the wet ground and his comrades beheld the writer of these
+immortal letters. Whiteing, Boleno, and the rest of our special clique
+or mess, who had arrived before me had already commenced constructing
+Mealie Villas (being the name given to our family residence wherever we
+are). The ground was, of course, saturated by the rain, which continued
+unceasing all day. Huddled together in the cribbed, cabined and confined
+space of our "home, sweet home," <span class="pagenum"><a id="page113" name="page113"></a>(p. 113)</span> half-naked, but fairly
+cheerful, we passed the time in everlastingly patching up the leaks and
+defects in the construction of the Villas. The next morning we had
+<i>reveillé</i> at six, and turned out promptly to feed the wretched horses;
+the poor, woe-begone looking creatures, hardly one of which was properly
+picketed, were standing expectantly amid a perfect cobweb of muddy,
+tangled picketing ropes in the quagmire, which represented their lines.
+One of the fellows, who had passed the night under our ox waggon, on
+lifting his rain-sodden blanket, found to his surprise and disgust a
+fine iguana, about four feet long, nestling against his body. The sun
+began to smile upon us, and we advanced to a better camping ground a few
+miles further on at Leeuwfontein. Here we outspanned and soon had our
+wet blankets, clothes, and other articles spread out on the veldt
+drying. The Force remained halted on Sunday, though we Yeomanry were
+sent out on a foraging patrol and returned with ducks and oranges
+galore. Late in the day, "Nobby," sallow, and with a week's beard on
+him, paid us a visit. He told us he had been bad and was dying, but
+bucked up at the sight of our rifles, which he pronounced as being in a
+disgustingly dirty state. "I'd like to be yer sergeant-major. I'd make
+yer sit up," quoth he indignantly, and then proceeded to give us the
+history of his own gun, and the godliness of its cleanliness. He also
+related to us portions of the history of the Border Regiment. "We're the
+Unknown Regiment," remarked Nobby, half bitterly, "but they ought ter
+know us now, we was with ole 'Art's Irish Brigade in Natal," and then
+came anecdotes of Pieter's Hill, and other places. Of course, he told us
+of their great marching feats, and wound up thus: "The other day
+Clements said to our ole man, 'Give the Borders a new pair of boots an'
+a ration of rum, an' they'll march to h&mdash;&mdash;." Then after a pause, "Of
+course, that's a bit o' bunkum to keep us goin';" but his manner showed
+he was proud to repeat it nevertheless. On the 5th, we advanced to
+Doornkom, getting a fine herd of cattle from a kloof on our way, and
+having sundry necessary bonfires, principally of oat hay.</p>
+
+<a id="img015" name="img015"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img015.jpg" width="500" height="716" alt="Consolation." title="">
+</div>
+
+<p>On Sunday (November 11th) we had some lively scrapping at the
+commencement of our march, which was <span class="pagenum"><a id="page114" name="page114"></a>(p. 114)</span> towards Krugersdorp.
+During the day some of our Sussex fellows came upon an untenanted
+shanty, containing scores of packets of magnificent candles. They
+brought away all they possibly could, and were very generous to the rest
+of us with them. That evening Mealie Villas was brilliantly illuminated,
+and later I had the pleasure of presenting <span class="pagenum"><a id="page115" name="page115"></a>(p. 115)</span> Dr. Welford and
+Captain Cory with a packet of these unobtainable articles. Another man
+who had been on a ration fatigue at the A.S.C. waggons in the afternoon
+managed to take away a box of four dozen tins of apricot jam, <i>not</i> down
+on our requisition. To "do" the A.S.C. is a virtuous deed. So we have
+dined well lately, though at the present time of writing I am rather
+tired of apricot preserve.</p>
+
+<a id="img016" name="img016"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img016.jpg" width="500" height="613" alt="On Pass." title="">
+</div>
+
+<p>This day, Monday (November 12th), the column marched into Krugersdorp.
+We were rearguard and just as we left the site of the camp, which had
+been in a most picturesque spot, got bullets whistling by us and
+knocking up the dust round our horses. Two of our men out of four, who
+had relieved an infantry picket at <i>reveillé</i> are missing. The snipers
+followed us about half the distance to the dorp and we had quite a warm
+little rearguard action. I am just off to post this in the town.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec34" name="sec34"></a>
+<h3>Camp Life at Krugersdorp.</h3>
+
+<p class="pb_0 right10 smcap">Krugersdorp,</p>
+<p class="pt_0 right"><i>Saturday, Nov. 17th, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p>We are still camped within about three miles of this town, and expect to
+remain here till Hart's Column returns. It went out yesterday after
+having had a five weeks' rest. Amongst the mounted men were the Wilts,
+Bucks, Yorks, and Suffolk Squadrons of Yeomanry. I think I told you in
+my last we arrived here on Monday after a lively time as rearguard, the
+Boers opening fire on us as soon as we had started to leave the place we
+had camped at. That is the worst of pitching upon picturesque spots for
+camps. We lost two men, who, however, eventually turned up safe and
+sound, although some of their captors had shown a strong inclination to
+shoot them, but, thanks to Delarey's brother, the bloody-minded minority
+were disappointed. The snipers hung persistently on to our tail,
+occupying each ridge and kopje as we retired from them. As soon as I had
+picketed and fed my horse, I obtained leave and went into Krugersdorp,
+passing on the way mines all the worse for want of wear, and the "Dubs"
+and others under canvas. In the town I dined at what I should imagine
+was a Bier <span class="pagenum"><a id="page116" name="page116"></a>(p. 116)</span> Halle in the piping days of peace, but which in the
+sniping days of war is an underground eating room run by Germans, who
+charge a great deal for a very little, and find it far more profitable
+than gold-mining.</p>
+
+<p>I procured some tins of condensed milk, golden syrup, and jam for our
+larder, and volumes by Ruskin, Meredith, Thackeray, and Kipling, for my
+own somewhat small library. With these I proudly staggered back to camp,
+aware of the royal and well-merited reception which awaited me, and
+which I got. Whiteing was quite overcome at the sight of Ruskin and
+Thackeray, while another friend implored permission to have a dip in
+"The Seven Seas" (which seems a big request, I doubt not, to the
+uninitiated).</p>
+
+<p>I forgot to mention that on my return to camp I found mails awaiting me.
+Thus passed a pleasant day. Tuesday I spent in camp, writing replies to
+my kind correspondents, reading and re-reading my letters and papers. We
+hear the C.I.V.'s are home, good luck to 'em, and though I have not read
+the papers I can imagine to a slight extent the enthusiastic welcome
+they were accorded. The knowledge that we have done our duty will be
+enough for us; never mind the brazen bands, the free drinks, the
+dyspeptical dinners, the cheers and jingo songs. Suffice it for us if
+you will let us quietly alight from the train and get us home, to our
+ain firesides. I fear I am rather bitter to-day; but, Christmas is
+coming, and the date of our return no man knoweth! On Thursday we all
+had to turn out to be inspected by "Bobs." If the turn out was to give
+him an idea of our strength as a fighting force the whole thing was
+"tommy-rot" for we paraded as strong as possible in numbers. The halt,
+sick and the blind, so to speak, were in the ranks, every available
+horse being used to mount them. Thus we turned out, our officers
+anxiously making the centre guides prove, and issuing special orders to
+us not to crowd when marching past in column of squadrons and all that
+sort of thing. Then we marched to the parade ground, cow gun, field
+guns, pom-poms, Infantry, Yeomanry, and Colonial mounted troops. After a
+short wait a group of mounted beings appeared in the distance and
+approached the force. We carried arms, and the infantry presented them.
+The great little man and his staff passed along the <span class="pagenum"><a id="page117" name="page117"></a>(p. 117)</span> front of
+the force, and then cantered away, and the show was over, after having
+in all occupied about five minutes. In the way of guards and pickets we
+are not over-worked, the regiment having to supply a picket of one
+officer and twenty men every night, which means each squadron comes on
+every fourth night. The job is, also, what Tommy would call a distinctly
+"cushey" one.</p>
+
+<p>On Friday I went into the town and succeeded in securing a fine stock of
+things for our larder, including a slab of Genoa cake, which I purchased
+at the Field Force canteen, which has just been opened. In the evening
+we entertained Sergeant Pullar, of the Fifes, at tea. This, though I
+should be modest over it, was really a grand, indeed sumptuous repast.
+Many a time has this gentleman given us biscuits on the veldt in our
+hours of need, papers also to read, and so we meant to do the thing
+well, and we did. In the morning a special invitation was sent from the
+corporals of the Sussex Squadron residing at Nos. 1, 2 and 3, Mealie
+Villas, requesting the pleasure of Sergeant Pullar's company to
+afternoon tea, parade order optional. We formed a table of biscuit
+boxes, which we covered with two recently-washed towels, and then I
+managed to obtain a fine effect in the way of table decoration by taking
+the spotted red handkerchief from my neck and laying it starwise as a
+centre-piece. Then, having begged, borrowed and otherwise obtained all
+the available tin plates, we covered the table with sardines, tinned
+tongues, pickles, condensed milk, jams, butter, and cake. Sergeant
+Pullar having arrived with his plate, knife, fork and spoon in a
+haversack, we sat down on S.A.A. Cordite Mark IV. boxes, to a rattling
+good feed, which guest and hosts did full justice to. Then it rained,
+and we had to rig up our blanket hutches in record time, while our guest
+sped to his tent. Thus ended an auspicious evening. The next morning we
+had the deluge, for it poured in torrents, our wretched blanket shelters
+proving far from rain-tight. But the real trouble was when we found we
+were being swamped, the water flowing in and sopping us and our
+belongings, the latter being by far the most important. Upon this I
+turned out and found the whole camp was a swamp, and all the shovels
+being used for digging trenches. Not to be done, I <span class="pagenum"><a id="page118" name="page118"></a>(p. 118)</span> collared a
+meat chopper from the Dorset cook-house, and started constructing
+trenches for all I was worth, specially draining my part of the villa
+where the library was <span class="pagenum"><a id="page119" name="page119"></a>(p. 119)</span> in great danger. The rain ceasing after
+a while, the other fellows emerged like so many slugs, and soon under my
+supervision (was I not articled to an architect once?) an elaborate
+system of drainage, consisting of trenches and dams, was constructed
+around the villas. We had a bit of a row with our neighbours, who
+complained that we had drained all our water on to them. A lot of
+unnecessary damming was indulged in. However, from our point of view the
+thing was a great success. Later the sun came out, and we dried all our
+possessions. Great institution the sun! The next day being the Sabbath,
+of course, we had to have a scrap, or at least try to have one. So we
+had a <i>reveillé</i> at 2 a.m., in order to surround a house where about
+forty Boers had been reported by some wretched being. On turning out,
+several of us found our horses had disappeared during the night, mine
+being among the number. So as not to be out of the fun, I took the first
+wandering brute I found, and fell in. All this took place in the dark,
+and later, when it became lighter, it was most amusing to see what some
+of us had secured. Mine proved to be an officer's charger, but no goer.
+When I got back to the lines, I found an infuriated officer's servant
+marking time in front of me till we were dismissed, when he approached
+and wrathfully spoke to me, stating that the horse had a sore back and
+was lame in three legs. As he gave me no chance to offer an apology or
+explanation, we slanged and abused one another for about ten minutes, to
+the delight of the squadron, and then parted so as not to miss other
+similar rows. The result of the morning's work was, I hear, two Boers
+captured. For this we all laid on the wet ground behind anthills and
+other cover for about two hours, waiting for them to come our way; while
+Legge's crowd pom-pommed and field-gunned them for about an hour. The
+Boers also used a good deal of ammunition, doing us no damage, but
+getting away through the usual missing link in the chain. This afternoon
+(Monday, 19th) we received mails, my share being three letters, and some
+papers.</p>
+
+<a id="img017" name="img017"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img017.jpg" width="500" height="636" alt="A Peep at our Domestic Life." title="">
+</div>
+
+<p>Tuesday, Nov. 20th. I have just heard that we are off for a ten weeks'
+trek to-morrow, so I must bring this to a conclusion, and get into town
+to post it, and also to procure some more stores. It may or may not
+interest you to know <span class="pagenum"><a id="page120" name="page120"></a>(p. 120)</span> that of all the jams we have had out here
+(and we have been served out with at least a score of different brands)
+the very best, made from the most genuine fruit, were the conserves of
+two Australian firms. These two firms are head and shoulders above all
+other makers bar none. "Advance, Australia" is right.</p>
+
+<p>Well, here we are, and here we are going to remain, for how long the
+Fates only know. Sometimes in my most optimistic moments I cheerfully
+look forward to spending the golden autumn of my life in the land of my
+birth. As I write this evening by candlelight, in our rude substitute
+for a tent, I can hear the chorus of "The miner's (why not a yeoman's?)
+dream of home," which comes wafted to us from the Fife lines. As you
+will, I hope, receive this by Christmas, I take the opportunity to wish
+you and all kind friends a right merrie Christmas and a prosperous new
+year. For us no holly will prick nor mistletoe hang. If Santa Claus
+comes it will probably be with a Mauser, and for some, alas! obituary
+cards will take the place of the coloured productions of Bavarian firms.
+But come weal, come woe, where'er we be on that day, I can guarantee you
+our sentiments will be easily summed up by the following:</p>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+  "Our heart's where they rocked our cradle,<br>
+<span class="add15em">Our love where we spent our toil;</span><br>
+<span class="add05em">And our faith and our hope and our honour,</span><br>
+<span class="add15em">We pledge to our native soil!"</span><a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec35" name="sec35"></a>
+<h3>Lady Snipers at Work.</h3>
+
+  <p class="right10 pb_0"><span class="smcap">Krugersdorp</span> (again),</p>
+<p class="right pt_0"><i>Wednesday, November 28th, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p>We returned here on Monday, after having been out for about a week's
+cruise on the troubled veldt, and, in spite of the rumour that we were
+to be treking again this morning, we are still here. I will endeavour to
+give you the usual veracious account of our doings. I say "veracious"
+advisedly, as oftentimes, after having seen something extra strong in
+the Ananias-Sapphira-Munchausen-Gulliver-de-Rougemont epistolary line
+from some gentleman in khaki to the old folks at home, in a London or
+provincial paper, I feel that I must give up letter writing altogether,
+as by now those at home must have discovered that such effusions are
+often <span class="pagenum"><a id="page121" name="page121"></a>(p. 121)</span> seven-eighths lies, and the remaining one-eighth truth,
+simply because the scribe's powers of invention have failed him, owing
+to the great strain. Only yesterday I saw in a certain local paper such
+an epistle from one of our fellows, who, owing to various circumstances,
+only joined us in September last, and has now joined the estimable
+waggon crowd. From it I gathered that we had fought incessantly for
+several days, on one occasion being without food or water for
+thirty-nine hours, etc., and afterwards for our magnificent behaviour
+had been called up to the general's tent, warmly congratulated by him,
+and <i>presented with a pot of jam each</i>. So my diffidence about writing
+will be easily understood, I am sure. And now for the celestial truth.</p>
+
+<p>On Wednesday last (November 21st) we had an unexpected <i>reveillé</i> at
+1.30 a.m., and set out with four days' supplies for Somewherefontein
+(where, we did not know). A "revally" at such an hour is, as you may
+imagine, by no means devoid of interest; I don't know whether you have
+ever experienced one; if you have you know all about it; if not you have
+a great experience lacking. There was I, collecting and packing our
+larder in an oat sack, my miniature Bodleian and other various
+possessions in another, dismantling our blanket shelter, and a hundred
+other things, including feeding and saddling up my Rosinante, and
+then&mdash;"Stan' to your 'osses!" We paraded smartly, and after a short
+wait, moved off as right flank. A few hours after dawn there was
+fighting in front of the column, but not our way, Legge's crowd working
+on a parallel road and some way ahead of us. At about mid-day we reached
+a wonderfully fertile village (Sterkfontein), and, imagining it to be
+unoccupied, our Provost-Marshal and his satellites rode forward to
+select a site for our camp, and got well sniped from some of the houses.
+Thereupon Number Eight came up, and at comparatively speaking short
+range, opened fire and 15-poundered them. To us, who were watching the
+show, the sight was a most interesting one. Crash through a house would
+go one shell, another would account for something else, and flames and
+smoke soon announced burning thatches and oat-hay stacks. The Mausers
+soon ceased from troubling, and eventually we entered the fontein. To
+our surprise no snipers were <span class="pagenum"><a id="page122" name="page122"></a>(p. 122)</span> captured, and it was asserted
+that the firing had been done by the ladies, who, with children, were
+the only persons found there. However, as no firearms or signs of their
+having done so, were found, the matter, like most things where the wily
+Boer is concerned, remains a mystery. It is a fact that lady snipers do
+exist. For some time the Borders had in their guard-room, during our
+last trip, amongst the various prisoners, a lady sniper they had bagged
+while doing the Magaliesberg. There was not much of the Jeanne d'Arc
+about her. I saw her once or twice. She was a regular barge, and of
+great beam; her face was concealed by the usual kindly sun-bonnet.</p>
+
+<p class="quote">
+     (<i>Note.</i>&mdash;Our Regimental Sergeant-Major has just gone by, with
+     white canvas shoes and slacks on. This is most reassuring as
+     regards not moving off to-day).</p>
+
+<p>Well, we camped near the village, which lay in a sort of saucer, being
+surrounded by kopjes. On one of these our cow gun, yclept "Wearie
+Willie," was hauled; it took fifty-six oxen to get him up there. The
+Boers, whom we had surprised, were very sick at our unexpected visit,
+and, had they only known, would undoubtedly have attempted to hold the
+place a bit. As it was, they hung about far off. It rained a perfect
+deluge that night, and my blanket roof collapsing I went to sleep with
+it over me as it fell, lullabyed by the soft cursings of my neighbours
+of 1 and 2 Mealie Villas, who were in like plight. The next morning we
+were to have had <i>reveillé</i> at 5.30 and proceed to Rietfontein 12. (They
+have to number these places out here. You probably have noticed the
+innumerable Blandsfonteins, Hartebeestefonteins, Rietfonteins,
+Bethanies, etc., in the Transvaal and Orange River Colony.) But Brother
+Boer willed it otherwise, and about an hour before the fixed time I was
+"revallyed" by the banging of guns distant and near. I arose to my feet
+and the fact that Mr. Delarey was trying to shell us, as a not far
+distant crack of an exploding shell testified. Near me, from under a
+rain-soaked blanket a sun-bronzed face appeared and a sleepy voice
+inquired "are the <i>burchers</i> (burghers) shelling us?" The seeker after
+knowledge was informed they were. We soon got the order to turn out,
+saddle up and escort the guns. This we quickly <span class="pagenum"><a id="page123" name="page123"></a>(p. 123)</span> did. As we
+moved out a few shells skimmed over the kopjes and lobbed themselves
+where our lines had been. By this time our field guns and cow gun were
+well at it, and the Boers were shifting a bit. We dismounted, lined the
+kopje we had ridden up to, and watched the work of our gunners.
+Presently from half up the hill in front of us, I saw a flickering white
+flash and pom-pom-pom-pom-pom-pom went Delarey's gun of that name,
+followed by a whistling over our heads and half-a-dozen cracks behind,
+where, looking round, I saw the same number of puffs of smoke and earth
+arise from the ground. This went on for a while, they were trying to get
+on our led horses, I believe. I afterwards heard some went fairly close,
+also that the general had one very near. <i>Apropos</i> of this pom-poming,
+our colonel, who had had their missiles all round him and had quite
+ignored them, as is his invariable custom, strolled up to one of our
+officers and the conversation turning on to pom-poms, languidly
+remarked: "Ye-es, I don't think they do much weel destwuction&mdash;er-er&mdash;it
+is pwincipally their demowalising effect." The demoralising effect on
+himself having been so very non-evident, this remark struck me as being
+distinctly good. Our "Wearie Willie" snapped out a remark now and again,
+and apparently always to the point. Later, Legge's men occupied the
+ridge opposite and chivvied the enemy for several miles; we, returning
+to camp, watered our horses and, twenty minutes later, set out on a
+reconnaissance with the guns in hopes of finding some snipers in the
+vicinity of Hekpoort. We returned bagless. That night it rained, as
+usual, and as we had not had time to rig up any shelters, or even dry
+our blankets, we came in for another good wetting. At two o'clock the
+next (Saturday) morning we had to turn out and stand to our horses.
+"Steady, boys, steady, we always are ready"&mdash;<i>afterwards</i>; you know our
+good old British style. But Frater Boer had had a belly full the
+preceding day, his losses in killed and wounded being considerable, I
+hear. Legge's men swear to have buried eight, and Clements said one of
+our shells hit a gun of their's. That night we had the fashionable and
+seasonable rain again. (Please, in future, remember we have this every
+night, and so I will refrain from too many references to it). On Sunday
+we moved off for Rietfontein, No. 1001. We <span class="pagenum"><a id="page124" name="page124"></a>(p. 124)</span> formed the
+rearguard and expected a bit of harassing, the country being most
+favourable for such operations on the part of the enemy. But they left
+us alone, though they were undoubtedly about unseen. As several waggons
+broke down, and had to be mended or burned, we had to grill on the
+kopjes for hour upon hour, cursing the convoy with all our might.
+Presently the inevitable question "What's the date?" elicited the fact
+that it was the 25th. (You can imagine the chorus "A month to
+Christmas!" and Sunday.) Sunday, and you probably in your frock coat and
+patent boots, luxuriously reclining in an upholstered pew, listening to
+promises of peace and rest, or standing up half thinking of the good
+meal to follow, and singing</p>
+
+<p class="poem30">
+  "I came to Jesus as I was,<br>
+<span class="add15em">Weary, and worn, and sad;</span><br>
+<span class="add05em">I found in Him a resting place,</span><br>
+<span class="add15em">And He hath made me glad."</span></p>
+
+<p>And I, there on those hard rocks, with a perpendicular sun above me,
+mechanically watching the distant hills, but seeing with strong mental
+eyes a church porch with roses and creeper over it and noting the
+Sabbath silence which presently would be broken softly by the voices of
+the worshippers within:</p>
+
+<p class="poem30">
+  "Come unto Me, ye weary,<br>
+<span class="add05em">And I will give you rest."</span></p>
+
+<p>I think to stand outside a church and hear the worshippers within is to
+get one of the most pleasant impressions possible; somehow it always
+strikes me that one imagines the people within to be so much holier,
+indeed more spiritual, than they really are. But all this looks either
+like preaching or scoffing, and it is neither. It is really the result
+of a desire to push myself into the home life you good people are still
+leading, somehow or other. An excusable offence after all, my Masters!
+Having re-cursed the tail of the convoy, it at last moved forward, and
+we, having allowed it so much grace, did the same. At the outskirts of
+the village, which the column had moved through, the last waggon&mdash;an
+overloaded one&mdash;collapsed, and once again we manned the heights. I was
+sent out with a couple of men to a post a little in advance of the rest
+of our troop, and, after an hour, about a mile off saw four Boers
+nonchalantly riding toward the other side of the dorp. These were
+followed by <span class="pagenum"><a id="page125" name="page125"></a>(p. 125)</span> two more. I sent in and reported this, and shortly
+after we moved off, unsniped. Undoubtedly these beggars had been waiting
+for the column to pass, so that they could return and have a Sunday
+dinner and a quiet evening, having had rather a rough week, and it was
+only owing to the above-mentioned waggon breaking down that we had a
+glimpse into the ways of our enemy. Our camp was not far off, and we go
+there at about six; some of the column were in by eleven in the morning.
+The amount of burning done <i>en route</i> was almost appalling. The next day
+we marched into Krugersdorp once again, passing several marshy spots
+where arum lilies were blooming in rich profusion. We reached here at
+noon; the Dorsets and Devons who formed the rearguard had a bit of
+scrapping, and, thanks to a straggling convoy, did not get into camp
+till close on midnight, and so, of course, got a rare soaking from the
+usual rain. Here I have received a few belated mails, and live in hopes
+of getting the latest. I have also read in some of the papers of the
+welcome home of the C.I.V.'s.</p>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+  "You've welcomed back the C.I.V.'s,<br>
+<span class="add05em">Back from their toil to home and ease;</span><br>
+<span class="add05em">The war is going pretty strong,</span><br>
+<span class="add05em"><i>We've</i> bade adieu to 'sha'n't be long';</span><br>
+<span class="add05em">And you at home across the seas,</span><br>
+<span class="add05em">Don't quite forget <i>us</i>, if you please."</span></p>
+
+<p>The following poetic outburst requires a little explanation. We have had
+the khaki this and the khaki that, and it has just occurred to me a
+khaki Omar Khayyam would not be out of place, for of a truth one needs a
+<i>soupçon</i> of philosophy out here occasionally. With this idea in my
+head, and having a little leisured ease, I have set out to minister a
+long-felt want. Not, however, having my Persian "Fitzgerald" by me, I
+must ask your indulgence for any grave discrepancies in the text.</p>
+
+<div class="poem10">
+<p>THE RUBAIYAT OF OMAR KHAYYAM.</p>
+
+<p>(<i>For the use of British Soldiers on the Veldt.</i>)</p>
+
+<p>The night has gone, the golden sun has riz,<br>
+  The khaki men have all begun to friz,<br>
+<span class="add1em">Cleared is the mushroom camp of yesterday,</span><br>
+  And forth they go upon the Empire's biz.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page126" name="page126"></a>(p. 126)</span> Oh! hopes of home that with each morning rise,<br>
+  Oh! wondrous legends which wild minds devise;<br>
+<span class="add1em">One thing is certain, and the rest is lies,</span><br>
+  The Yeoman, once enlisted, often sighs.</p>
+
+<p>Oh! fool to cry "The Boer is on the run,"<br>
+  He is, we know, and <i>ain't forgot his gun</i>;<br>
+<span class="add1em">And often from the rocky kopje side</span><br>
+  He stops and pots&mdash;your mess is minus one.</p>
+
+<p>I sometimes think that nought whiffs on the wind<br>
+  As strong as where some dying steed reclined;<br>
+<span class="add1em">That any casual stranger passing by</span><br>
+  The place, if asked, again could eas'ly find.</p>
+
+<p>Alas! that Mausers are not turned to hoes,<br>
+  That Christmas comes, and with the pudding goes;<br>
+<span class="add1em">And we stick here for ever and a day,</span><br>
+  When we return (or <i>if</i>) <i>who knows</i>&mdash;<span class="smcap">WHO KNOWS</span>?</p>
+
+<p>Oh! Pard, could thou and I with Holmes conspire<br>
+  To round De Wet up with his force entire;<br>
+<span class="add1em">Would we not smash it all to bits&mdash;and then</span><br>
+  Get somewhere nearer to our heart's desire.</p>
+
+<p>A pipe o' baccy 'neath a leafy tree,<br>
+  A recent mail from far across the sea,<br>
+<span class="add1em">No one to worry for an hour or two,</span><br>
+  And veldt, indeed, were Paradise to me.</p>
+
+<p>And, lo, 'tis vain the generals to blame,<br>
+  Keep boldly sticking at the ancient game;<br>
+<span class="add1em">And if to-day you are upon the veldt,</span><br>
+  To-morrow it will also be the same.</p>
+
+<p>Each morn's <i>reveillé</i> comes like some nightmare,<br>
+  Sleepy you rise and pack your kit, and swear;<br>
+<span class="add1em">Then mount your saddled steed with gun in hand,</span><br>
+  And hasten off, you know not why or where.</p>
+
+<p>Some in the fighting let their hearts rejoice,<br>
+  For some the waggons are the patriot's choice:<br>
+<span class="add1em">Oh! loot the farm, don't let the chickens go,</span><br>
+  Nor heed the roaring of the sergeant's voice!</p>
+
+<p>They say the gentlemen in khaki keep<br>
+  The courts where Kruger once did plot so deep;<br>
+<span class="add1em">That great Oom Paul across the sea has trekked,</span><br>
+  Before the Courts of Europe now to weep.</p>
+
+<p>We are but pawns, first front, then flank, then rear,<br>
+  Moved by the Master Players there and here<br>
+<span class="add1em">Upon the veldt and kopje (that's the board),</span><br>
+  <i>Sans</i> tents, <i>sans</i> beds, <i>sans</i> pudding and <i>sans</i> <span class="smcap">BEER</span>.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page127" name="page127"></a>(p. 127)</span> Yon broiling sun which smiles and is our bane,<br>
+  Yon thunder-cloud which means a soaking rain,<br>
+<span class="add1em">Will both some day look down upon this veldt</span><br>
+  For us, and let us hope 'twill be in vain.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>The above extract will, I am sure, suffice to show the general tone of
+the khaki Rubaiyat, and be more than enough to damn my poor but honest
+reputation.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec36" name="sec36"></a>
+<h3>Treatment of the Sick.</h3>
+
+<p class="right10 pb_0 smcap">Krugersdorp,</p>
+<p class="right pt_0"><i>December 5th, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p>As the English mail leaves this benighted place to-morrow at mid-day, I
+am dropping you a few lines, though I feel in anything but a scribbling
+humour. Clements moved out on Monday for about a week's jaunt, and left
+us, the Sussex Squadron and sick men, behind in charge of about a
+hundred remounts, mostly Argentines; and with the pleasant task of doing
+pickets and such like, about two miles out from the town. As I write I
+am very wet, it having been raining for the last two days. This morning
+the other four occupants of Mealie Villas had to clear off at 3 o'clock
+to do a picket, and so, as they naturally withdrew the support of their
+rifles from their blankets, there was not much shelter for me. I wonder
+what your opinion was on the statements of Mr. Burdett-Coutts, M.P., as
+regards certain hospitals out here, and also what you think of the Army
+doctor? It was my duty to parade the sick men before one of these august
+beings this morning. I received the order at a quarter past nine from
+our Squadron Sergeant-Major to parade before the doctor's tent, in the
+lines of Marshall's Horse, at 9.30. So at that time, behold me with
+fourteen sick men in the driving, drenching rain waiting in puddles of
+water outside the well-closed tent of the disciple of Esculapius. There
+we waited till at last an officer entering the tent, in response to my
+inquiry, as to whether I was at the right place or not, replied in the
+affirmative and informed an unseen being that there was a sick parade
+outside. Apparently without even rising, the great unseen was heard to
+remark shortly, "Sick parade is at seven <span class="pagenum"><a id="page128" name="page128"></a>(p. 128)</span> o'clock every
+morning," the tent was again closed, and the men with fever, dysentery,
+colds and sores wended their ways through the rain and mud, back to the
+damp interiors of their leaking blanket hovels. They were men of the
+Fife, Devon, Dorset, and Sussex Yeomanry Squadrons, and that is how some
+of your dear patriotic volunteers get treated occasionally by certain
+doctors out here. Our Battalion doctor (the 7th) is a very good sort,
+and if you are bad will see you at almost any time.</p>
+
+<p>On Wednesday (November 29th) a friend and I went into the 'Dorp and got
+a few stores (alas! the Field Force canteen is almost empty and the
+prospects of its being replenished are drear). Afterwards we strolled up
+to the station to see if there were any mails, and to see a train again.
+The Johannesburg train came in while we were there, and a sergeant-major
+of Kitchener's Horse shot an officer of the same corps soon after
+alighting from the train. The officer had put him under arrest for
+misbehaviour in Johannesburg. I had my choice of a dozen yarns as to the
+real cause of the tragedy. The officer was buried the next day. The fate
+of the sergeant-major I have not heard yet, though it is not difficult
+to guess. Mr. Wynne, our troop leader left us this day for England,
+having applied for leave on business. A statement of the losses among
+our officers may not be uninteresting. All of the following, save the
+last, are home or on their way: The Duke of Norfolk, injured thigh; the
+Hon. T. A. Brassey, elections; Mr. Ashby, reasons unknown, but
+undoubtedly excellent; Mr. Williams-Wynne, business reasons; Mr. Cory,
+still out here but working with the transport&mdash;hard.</p>
+
+<p>Which leaves us Mr. McLean, of rowing fame, as our captain and only
+officer.</p>
+
+<p>Saturday, apart from lifting us into December, was I believe,
+uneventful.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec37" name="sec37"></a>
+<h3>Veldt Church Service.</h3>
+
+<p>On Sunday we had a Brigade Church Service&mdash;we had not had one for a long
+time. We also had a real padre, who wore a surplice, cassock, and
+helmet, and who preached an <span class="pagenum"><a id="page129" name="page129"></a>(p. 129)</span> indifferent sermon. I don't
+suppose we deserve a real good man.</p>
+
+<a id="img018" name="img018"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img018.jpg" width="500" height="574" alt="Hymns &amp; their Singers." title="">
+</div>
+
+<p>The great event of Tuesday was the fate of my Christmas pudding, which I
+had received from my <i>Mater</i>. Having handled and examined it carefully
+for some time, I thought I could detect signs of decomposition about it.
+I communicated my fears to my comrades, who <span class="pagenum"><a id="page130" name="page130"></a>(p. 130)</span> shared them, and
+said they didn't think it would last till Christmas. It didn't; for we
+ate it that evening. It was good, and I suppose we ought to feel ashamed
+of ourselves for eating it out of season, but really our excuses are
+many, principal among them being it is not wise trying to keep edibles,
+as they have a way of getting lost, and if the pudding managed to last
+to Christmas it is just on the cards we might not.</p>
+
+<p>To show you how civilised we are at the 'Dorp, we, when in standing
+camp, occasionally have a chance of getting a drink of beer. This
+afternoon a barrel was brought into our camp, and to-night we shall be
+able to buy pots of it at sixpence a pint. You should see those pints!
+We may be Imperial Yeomanry, but they don't give us Imperial Pints.
+Teetotallers will be interested and pleased to hear that out of our
+princely stipend of 1s. 3d. per diem (unpaid since July) we don't buy
+much of the beverage.</p>
+
+<p>I have drawn a fresh horse from the remounts we are in charge of; my
+last gee-gee I called "Barkis," because he was willing, this brute I
+shall have to dub "Smith," because he certainly is not&mdash;Willing.</p>
+
+<p>N.B.&mdash;Our mounts are always known as "troop horses," those belonging to
+the officers though, however Rosinante-like, are invariably, politely
+and with dignity alluded to as "chargers."</p>
+
+<p>Thursday morning. We had to turn out and stand to arms this morning at
+three, an attack being expected on the railway. I, happening to have the
+stable picket, had the pleasure of arousing the recumbent forms of the
+sleepers with the joyous Christmas carol of "Christians, awake! come,
+salute the happy morn." You ought to have seen the "Christians" awake;
+to have heard them would have been too awful.</p>
+
+<p>So from three till six we stood to arms, a thick fog enveloping us,
+making it impossible to see more than fifty yards to our front or rear.
+But they did not come. I understand that we may have "the stand to arms"
+wheeze every morning now, so we have something to look forward to.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec38" name="sec38"></a>
+<h3><span class="pagenum"><a id="page131" name="page131"></a>(p. 131)</span> Comradeship.</h3>
+
+  <p class="pb_0 right10 smcap">Krugersdorp.</p>
+  <p class="pt_0 right"><i>Wednesday, December 12th, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p>As we are under orders to leave here and join Clements to-morrow, I am
+writing so as to catch the mail which goes out on Thursday.</p>
+
+<p>On Sunday we had a Church Service, and in the afternoon had a visit from
+Nobby&mdash;the Border Regiment has been resting at Krugersdorp for a few
+weeks&mdash;who entertained us till, what out here we should term a late
+hour, about nine.</p>
+
+<p>On Monday I heard that another of our Sussex fellows had died of enteric
+at Pretoria.</p>
+
+<p>Nobby has just looked in again, he is rather a swell, wearing one of our
+new war hats we had served out, and which I gave him, preferring to keep
+my old one; in his words, he looks as if he belonged to the "Yeomandry."
+It is wonderful how all our fellows get on with our professional
+brethren. Take for instance one of our men, a 'Varsity man, hight
+Pember, he is a dry, self-contained beggar, and lives his own life. Into
+this life has come a man of the Northumberland Fusiliers. They both hail
+from the same county. After the day's march, when the Infantry not on
+picket are in camp, a dark figure often slouches up our lines, and a
+voice inquires, "Is Pem 'ere?" and Pember of ours, late of Trinity Hall,
+calls out from the darkness, "Here you are, mate," and forthwith the man
+of the Fighting Fifth and the Imperial Yeoman sit down together and chat
+of Heaven knows what, and the latter gives the former half of his prized
+hard tack ration (he wouldn't give me a biscuit for his soul's
+salvation), for the Northumberlands do not fare well at their
+quartermaster's hands, at least they did not the last time we were on
+the trek. Then, at about the same time Nobby is leaving us, the Fusilier
+also arises and disappears with a "Good night, chummy," into the
+darkness.</p>
+
+<p>The dry canteen, for the troops, in the town, is now quite empty.
+Fortunately, we still have some of the Great Candle Loot left, otherwise
+we should be very much in the dark after sunset. To save our candles
+from draughts <span class="pagenum"><a id="page132" name="page132"></a>(p. 132)</span> and get a good light, we always burn them in
+biscuit tins, a practice I can recommended highly if ever you go out
+campaigning and lack a lantern. A convoy going to Rustenburg from
+Pretoria was attacked and part captured a few days ago by Delarey's
+crowd. I had expected that to happen soon, the length of the convoy and
+insufficiency of its guard, having frequently struck me as very tempting
+for Brother Boer.</p>
+
+<p>Well, I must conclude, as I have nothing of note to narrate, and must
+begin to pack my possessions in a manner to circumvent our
+quartermaster-sergeant when packing our kits on the waggon.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/imgd4.jpg" width="80" height="51" alt="Decoration." title="">
+</div>
+
+<a id="sec39" name="sec39"></a>
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page133" name="page133"></a>(p. 133)</span> IN HOSPITAL.</h2>
+
+  <p class="pb_0 right10 smcap">Imperial Yeomanry Hospital,</p>
+  <p class="pt_0 pb_0 right5 smcap">Pretoria.</p>
+  <p class="pt_0 right"><i>Tuesday, December 18th, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p><i>Dulce et decorum</i> 'tis to bleed for one's country, especially to a
+small extent, and that is my case. So here I am taking my ease with a
+slightly stiff leg, caused by a flesh wound acquired during a lively
+rearguard action we had on the 14th, and my hand tied up in a manner to
+render writing rather a slow and fumbling ceremony. I always find it
+easier to write of the present than the past, so will get through the
+events of last week as quickly as possible. On Thursday last we left
+Krugersdorp for Rietfontein to join Clements, with the Borders, some
+mounted details and useless remounts. Half of our fellows were leading
+the latter. We, the remainder, formed the rearguard, and a long,
+wearisome job it was. Oh, how those waggons broke down and stuck in
+dongas and spruits! At last we got into camp, to my infinite relief, for
+the sun had, for once, given me a vile head. All through the day we
+heard guns firing, first near us and then distant. The next day we were
+again rearguard, and had a rare harassing. The end of that beastly
+convoy seemed to lag even more than on the preceding day! And we of the
+rearguard, on the kopjes and ridges, watched the enemy galloping round
+and up to the favourable positions, potting at them when we had a decent
+chance. But they knew the lay of the land, of course, and the closer
+they got the more invisible they became. They don't require khaki to
+make them indiscernible. Then a single shot would inform us as it hummed
+above our heads that one gentleman had got into position, and was
+getting the range, then others, and we knew his friends were with him,
+and hard at it. Once a few of us happened to be lying in front of a
+ridge we were holding, and <i>at which</i> the Boers were potting from
+another about 800 yards off. We got the order to retire over the crest
+and get better cover and had <span class="pagenum"><a id="page134" name="page134"></a>(p. 134)</span> a warm time doing it. One at a
+time we crawled, then, crouching low, rushed back a few yards and
+dropped behind a rock for breath and cover. Then back again we dragged
+ourselves till the cover was better. Their firing was distinctly good,
+and several fellows were hit. On one occasion I dropped behind a small
+piece of rock, ostrich-like, covering my head, and almost simultaneously
+with my action a bullet struck the side of the rock a few inches from my
+face with a nasty <i>phutt</i>. That is what it is like on such occasions.
+That's the sort of game we played all day, cursing Clements for not
+sending out to meet us and give us a hand. We did not know what had
+happened in the valley the preceding day. Later we got into an ambush,
+some of the enemy being within a hundred yards of us; and had several
+horses killed. We thought that the show was over, as Rietfontein was
+close handy, and the last time we were there the locality was clear. It
+was almost dark when we entered Clements' camp. But where were the
+tents, the men and horses that used to be? Presently a figure with a
+face rendered unrecognisable by bandages, came up to us. It was Sergeant
+Pullar of the Fifes, and from him we had the story of the previous day's
+disaster. Over half the Fifes are missing, most of the Devons also,
+so-and-so killed, and so-and-so, and so-and-so. Kits lost, and tents
+burnt. From various reliable sources I have compiled the best account I
+can make of the affair, which we missed by the merest fluke, what men
+call chance, and here it is.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec40" name="sec40"></a>
+<h3>The Story of Nooitgedacht.</h3>
+
+<p>Clements' camp was at Nooitgedacht, between Hekpoort and Olifant's Nek,
+where he had been for three days. Nooitgedacht is at the base of the
+Magaliesberg range of hills (the name means "Ne'er Forgotten"). We had
+camped there about a couple of months back. It lies near a large kloof.
+A little to the west of Clements were Colonel Legge's mounted troops,
+composed of Kitchener's and Roberts' Horse, "P" Battery R.H.A., and two
+companies of M.I., the whole force numbering, at the most, 1,400 men.
+Knowing that Delarey was in the vicinity with a strong force, the
+general had helio'ed for reinforcements, which, unfortunately, were not
+forthcoming, so apparently he was sitting <span class="pagenum"><a id="page135" name="page135"></a>(p. 135)</span> tight, with doubled
+pickets, on the Magaliesberg and kopjes in the valley. Then came the
+eventful Thursday (the 13th). During the night Beyers' Commando made a
+wonderful trek from the north to reinforce and co-operate with Clements'
+old foe, Delarey, and just before dawn the enemy, who had crept up
+unseen or heard in the dark, rushed Legge's pickets on the west of the
+camp, shooting the sentries and many of the men as they lay asleep in
+their blankets, soon afterwards getting into the gallant Colonel's camp.
+Poor Legge, who ran out in the direction of the pickets as soon as he
+heard the firing, was one of the first killed. Then Clements' pickets on
+the Magaliesberg, which were composed of four-and-a-half companies of
+Northumberland Fusiliers, suddenly became aware of the close proximity
+of the enemy, who were in great force, about 3,000, and had, undetected,
+crept up the gradual sloping northern side of the range. The
+Northumberlands soon exhausted their ammunition, volunteers of the
+Yorkshire Light Infantry tried to take them a fresh supply, but were
+allowed to toil up the steep hillside with their heavy loads, only to be
+dropped, when near their goal, by their exultant foes. Probably never
+before have the Boers fought with such boldness, standing up and firing
+regardless of exposing themselves. Meanwhile, the Yeomanry, who had been
+standing to their horses in the camp, received the order to reinforce
+the Northumberlands on the Magaliesberg above them, and, with the Fifes
+leading and Devons following, commenced to ascend the precipitous
+hillside. Alas, the Boers were in possession of the summit, the
+Fusiliers having surrendered, and the Yeomanry got it hot. Of the Fifes,
+Lieutenant Campbell, who had only joined them a fortnight ago at
+Krugersdorp, was the first to fall, struck by an explosive bullet in the
+head. Out of less than fifty, fourteen were killed, and almost all the
+survivors wounded more or less seriously. At last, without a ray of
+hope, they were compelled to surrender, too. Many a good comrade's fate
+is known to me, so far, by that direly comprehensive word, <i>missing</i>. I
+have heard that the Boers threw many of the wounded over the precipitous
+southern side of the Magaliesberg, but do not believe it. Then they
+turned their full attention to the camp below; every officer <span class="pagenum"><a id="page136" name="page136"></a>(p. 136)</span>
+of the staff was hit, the brigade-major was killed, having many wounds.
+Clements himself went unscathed; wherever there was a hot corner the
+general was to be seen coolly giving orders and apparently unconcerned
+amid a hail of bullets. "I'll be d&mdash;&mdash;d if they shall have the cow-gun,"
+he remarked, and, by gad, they didn't. With drag ropes it was moved down
+the hill for some distance, and then an attempt was made to inspan the
+oxen. As fast as one was inspanned it was shot, and quickly another and
+another would share its fate. At last, by sheer desperate perseverance,
+some sort of a team was inspanned and the gun moved forward, leaving
+dead and wounded men and considerably over half of the ox-team behind,
+but with the aid of the field artillery, who shelled the kopjes, was at
+length got on to a comparatively safe road. Of a truth, were I another
+Virgil and a scribe of verse, not unheroic prose, I might well have
+started this little account with</p>
+
+<p class="poemctr">"I sing of arms and of heroes."</p>
+
+<p class="noindent">The getting away of the transport was a desperate affair; the niggers
+scooted, and amid the roar of the field guns, pom-poms, maxims and
+rifles, which between the hills was terrific, the mules stampeded.
+Officers, conductors and troopers rode after the runaways, and, under
+threats of shooting if they didn't, compelled the niggers to return with
+the mules. Chief amongst the Yeomanry who distinguished themselves that
+day, was Sergeant Pullar, who rode after the retiring convoy, called
+for, and returned with volunteers to the camp and helped with the guns
+and ammunition, and in various other ways. At last the Boers swarmed
+into the camp and our guns, turning on it, shelled it, containing as it
+did, friend and foe alike, a regrettable but absolutely necessary
+measure. Then our force retiring down the valley to Rietfontein fought a
+fierce rearguard action, the Dorset Yeomanry under Sir Elliot Lees and
+the remnants of the Fifes and Devons forming the rear screen, supported
+by Kitchener's and Roberts' Horse, mostly dismounted, and the guns.
+During this retirement, which I have heard wrongly ascribed to the M.I.,
+Sir Elliot and his orderly, Ingram, of the Dorsets, on one occasion
+finding that two dismounted Yeomen had been left behind on a recently
+abandoned kopje, gallantly rode back and bore them <span class="pagenum"><a id="page137" name="page137"></a>(p. 137)</span> away on
+their horses into comparative safety.<a id="footnotetag7" name="footnotetag7"></a><a href="#footnote7" title="Go to footnote 7"><span class="smaller">[7]</span></a> The artillery were grand, as
+ever, and in spite of killed and wounded gunners and great losses in the
+teams, saved their guns and used them to effect. At six o'clock on
+Friday morning the rearguard entered camp at Rietfontein. Our
+casualties&mdash;killed, wounded and missing, are 640, while it is stated and
+believed that the enemy's losses were even more severe. It seems a
+strange coincidence that exactly this time a year ago at home in dear
+old England we were going through the black Stormberg and Colenso week,
+and Christmastide was coming to many a sorrowing home.</p>
+
+<p>Since writing the above, I have heard vague tales that a good many of
+the missing have turned up at Rustenburg, being either men who got
+through or released prisoners. This I rather anticipated and hope to be
+true. About the Yeomanry I have not heard any reassuring news yet; one
+thing is certain&mdash;they had many casualties and fought desperately.</p>
+
+<div class="poem30">
+  <p class="pb_0 smcap add2em">Nooitgedacht.</p>
+
+<p class="pt_0 right10"><i>Thursday, December 13th, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p>Comrades of Fife and of Devon,<br>
+<span class="add1em">Dying as brave men die,</span><br>
+  Under God's smiling blue heaven,<br>
+<span class="add1em">Now you peacefully lie</span><br>
+  On the hills you died defending,<br>
+<span class="add1em">Or veldt where you nobly fell,</span><br>
+  Your foemen before you sending;<br>
+<span class="add1em">Good comrades, fare thee well.</span></p>
+
+<p>O comrades of Devon and Fife,<br>
+<span class="add1em">Memories flood me o'er;</span><br>
+  Fierce mem'ries of many a strife<br>
+<span class="add1em">In days that are no more;</span><br>
+  Full many a fast have we shared,<br>
+<span class="add1em">Of many treks could I tell;</span><br>
+  Brave men who have done and dared,<br>
+<span class="add1em">Comrades of mine&mdash;farewell.</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="poem30">
+  <p class="add2em"><span class="pagenum"><a id="page138" name="page138"></a>(p. 138)</span> <i>L'envoi.</i></p>
+
+<p>And when in the great Valhalla<br>
+<span class="add1em">All of us meet again;</span><br>
+  Norsemen in skins and armour<br>
+<span class="add1em">And men in khaki plain;</span><br>
+  With a smile to erstwhile foemen<br>
+<span class="add1em">Who 'gainst us fought and fell,</span><br>
+  I'll haste to my fellow Yeomen,<br>
+<span class="add1em">Till then, dear chums&mdash;farewell!</span><a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+</div>
+
+<a id="sec41" name="sec41"></a>
+<h3>Two Field Hospitals&mdash;A Contrast.</h3>
+
+<p>On Friday I went before our Battalion doctor, who had lost everything,
+save what he stood in. However, he fixed up my leg and hand and exempted
+me from duty. On going before him the next day he said my leg wanted
+resting, and in spite of protests sent me to the R.A.M.C. field
+hospital. A word aside here. I suppose you have heard of this great
+institution of the British Army&mdash;the d&mdash;&mdash;d R.A.M.C. (I seldom, if ever,
+have heard it alluded to without the big, big D's.) My experience of it,
+I am pleased to say, has been, so far, severely limited, but, slight as
+it is, I can quite understand why it is lacking in popularity. With
+three other Yeomen and my kit, I accompanied the doctor's orderly to the
+Brigade Hospital. The order for our admission was given in, and we were
+told we should be attended to at nine. The sun was hot, shade there was
+none, and outside the doctor's tent we waited. Nine came and went, a
+doctor also rode up, chatted with someone inside, and rode away. The sun
+was scorching, and we dare not go away to get in any friendly shade.
+Three of us had game legs and one dysentery, but, of course, we grumbled
+not, for the R.A.M.C. are all honourable men. Various squads of sick
+Artillery, M.I. and other regiments marched up, and finally an R.A.M.C.
+sergeant came to the entrance of the tent and began calling them up
+before the doctor. Eleven o'clock came, and in the hot sun we waited
+still, in spite of being half-determined to return to our lines, as it
+was getting rather wearisome and confoundedly hot; but the R.A.M.C. are
+all honourable men. A Canadian helped a chum down to the group of
+impatient patients, and after a few words left him with the terribly
+audible remark, "So long, ole man. I'd sooner blanked-well die on the
+veldt <span class="pagenum"><a id="page139" name="page139"></a>(p. 139)</span> than go there." Which showed how he failed to appreciate
+the R.A.M.C., and also his bad taste, for those inside must have heard
+him. But there, they know that they, the R.A.M.C., are all honourable
+men. "Driver Neads!" calls the spic and span little dark-moustached
+sergeant, reading from a list of names. A ragged dirty-looking
+Artilleryman limps painfully up, <i>two pills</i> are given to him, he gazes
+curiously at them, then at the back of the donor, who has turned away,
+and then realising that nothing further is to be done for him, limps
+heavily back, making room for the next patient. Once in the background,
+he heels a small hole in the earth, turns the contents of his hand into
+it, methodically fills the hole up, and hobbles back with his squad.
+They were, of course, the celebrated "Number Nines," the great panacea
+out here as, of course, you know. They (are supposed to) cure all
+diseases, from dysentery and brain fever to broken legs and heads.</p>
+
+<p>And still we, who were first, waited in the blazing sun, to be last.
+Finally the smart sergeant smilingly recognised us, and cheerily told us
+that there was an Imperial Yeomanry Field Hospital somewhere in the
+vicinity, and we were to go there, and with that returned us our
+admittance form. I pressed him for more accurate information, and had
+the supposed direction given me, which proved correct. So off we
+crawled, I, with my Bunyan's Pilgrim-like load, holding the position of
+a scratch man in a race. I could not have done the distance had I not
+procured the services of a nigger, who relieved me of my kit for a
+shilling. So we shook the dust of the R.A.M.C. Field Hospital from our
+boots, but let not an abusive word be levelled at them, for are they not
+all honourable men?</p>
+
+<p>The Imperial Yeomanry Field Hospital was about a mile off, and on
+reaching it we were treated with every kindness. They had only come in
+the previous night, and we were the first patients. Every consideration
+was shown to us, and in a few minutes we were lying down in a fine tent
+of the marquee brand and drinking excellent <i>café au lait</i> and eating
+bully and biscuit. "The best we can do for you at present," as they
+apologetically remarked to us. Fomentations were applied to our wounds,
+and luxuriously reclining on my back, smoking a Turkish cigarette one of
+the orderlies had <span class="pagenum"><a id="page140" name="page140"></a>(p. 140)</span> just given me, I fervently swore that the
+grandest institution in South Africa was the I.Y. Field Hospital. In the
+afternoon some sick Inniskilling Fusiliers were admitted, and for some
+time seemed dazed at the kind treatment they were receiving, and
+appeared half under the impression they were in Heaven. "What's this
+chummy?" queried one. "Imperial Yeomanry Hospital" was the reply. "Thank
+Gawd 'taint the R.A.M.C." grunted the Tommy, turning over on his side
+with a sigh of relief. At about ten that night we had to make room in
+our tent for a dozen wounded men from Thursday's fight. Ninety were
+being brought into Rietfontein and the I.Y. people were taking half.
+Soon an ambulance was halted by our tent, and wounded men hobbled or
+were carried in, heads, arms and legs tied up, with here and there blood
+showing through the bandages. They were M.I., Kitchener's Horse,
+Northumberlands and K.O.Y.L.I. (King's Own Yorkshire Light Infantry).
+"Man," started a Yorkshire man before he had been in the tent a minute,
+"they (the Boers) treated us real well." "Ay, they was all right,"
+chimed in a M.I. man, "they gave us to eat as much as they 'ad." "One
+bloke arsked my permission to take the boots orf one of our dead chaps,"
+said a Northumberland Fusilier. And at it they went hammer and tongue,
+especially the latter. To follow the various speakers one needed a dozen
+pairs of ears at least. Several related that the Boers came up to them
+and told them they had made a grand fight of it. They were quickly
+supplied with beef tea and biscuits, and some of the necessary cases
+were dressed again. "See that that man has a ground sheet down there,"
+ordered Major Stonham, "he is on the bare earth." "I've laid on it for
+three nights out there, sir," cheerfully vouchsafed the patient under
+notice.</p>
+
+<p>At last I got to sleep, awaking at four, and having had a small bowl of
+porridge and milk, arose with the other fellows who had come in with me
+and the sick Inniskillings, and getting our kits, got into an ambulance
+waggon for the first time. The I.Y. people sent in two ambulances and
+the R.A.M.C. three open mule waggons filled with sick soldiers. We
+reached Pretoria at three, and we four Yeomen were sent to the Imperial
+Yeomanry Hospital, where, after once again giving in our names,
+regimental numbers, ranks, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page141" name="page141"></a>(p. 141)</span> regiments, service, ailments,
+religion, and a hundred other items of general information, I was
+allotted a ward, bed, and suit of pyjamas, and after having had a bath,
+got into bed and awaited the next person desirous for my name, number,
+time of service, &amp;c. It was not long before the sister in charge of our
+ward appeared; she is Irish (Sister Strohan), and naturally very kind.
+Our tent holds six men, and we were all new arrivals that evening. She
+asked if we had had anything to eat, and we said we had had nothing
+beyond a little porridge at four in the morning. Then she <span class="pagenum"><a id="page142" name="page142"></a>(p. 142)</span>
+commanded the orderlies to get "these <i>poor</i> men" bread, marmalade,
+cocoa, beef tea, pillows and all sorts of things. And we "poor men" laid
+comfortably in our beds and grinned at one another. She ordered us later
+to go to sleep, but we could not. For myself, I had not been in a bed
+for so long that I positively felt restless, and almost rolled out of
+bed so as to have a comfortable "doss" on the ground (it seemed like a
+case of the pig returning to its wallowing). At last I fell asleep, and
+once in that state took a good deal of arousing&mdash;for night nurses and
+orderlies tread more lightly than stable guards, and loose horses
+grazing round one's head.</p>
+
+<a id="img019" name="img019"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img019.jpg" width="400" height="544" alt="A friendly Boer family." title="">
+</div>
+
+<p>Thursday, December 20th. A friend, of the Fife Yeomanry, came in here
+wounded last night. He went up with twenty other men of his crowd to
+reinforce the Northumberlands on the hill. Out of these, six were killed
+and nine wounded. I have already told you many of the dead and wounded
+were left on the kopjes for several days. He tells me it was horrible to
+see some of the poor fellows; the flies had got on their wounds. One
+fellow with a wounded jaw had maggots inside as well as out, and they
+were taken out of his mouth with little bits of stick. Another with a
+wounded side was quite a heaving, moving mass of them where he had been
+hit.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec42" name="sec42"></a>
+<h3>Christmas in Hospital.</h3>
+
+  <p class="pb_0 right10 smcap">Imperial Yeomanry Hospital,</p>
+  <p class="pb_0 pt_0 right5 smcap">Pretoria.</p>
+  <p class="pt_0 right"><i>Monday, December 24th, 1900.</i></p>
+
+<p class="poem30">
+  Here's to the doc's an' the nusses,<br>
+  The bloomin' ord'lies too,<br>
+  Who tend to us poor worn cusses,<br>
+  All of 'em good and true.<br>
+  Fightin' with death unceasin',<br>
+  With ne'er a word of brag,<br>
+  Sorrow an' anguish easin',<br>
+  Under the Red Cross flag.<br>
+<span class="add4em"><i>Extract from forthcoming "Orspital Odes."</i></span></p>
+
+<p>Christmas Eve! Forsooth! And it falls on a homesick British Army in
+South Africa, home-yearning and longing for a sight of the sea (our
+sea!) like the famous Grecian host <span class="pagenum"><a id="page143" name="page143"></a>(p. 143)</span> of old. If you ask a
+British soldier, "How goes it?" he promptly growls, "Feddup." I wonder
+what the Grecian warrior's equivalent for "fed up" was. He had one I am
+sure.</p>
+
+<p>Christmas Eve, forsooth! Where is the prickly, red-berried holly? Where,
+too, the mistletoe with its pearly berries? And where, most of all,
+queries your enforced member of a Blue Ribbon Army&mdash;where is the Wassail
+Bowl?</p>
+
+<p>The weather is fine, and under our tents we don't feel the heat of the
+sun. After the monotony of khaki here, there and everywhere, to which
+one gets accustomed on the veldt, the colours one sees here are quite
+enlivening. To begin with, <i>place aux dames</i> the nurses are arrayed in
+grey, white and red, and the patients who arrive in torn, worn, dirty or
+bloody khaki, surrender all their warlike habiliments to an orderly,
+have a bath and then "blossom in purple and red"&mdash;pyjamas, or in pinks,
+stripes or spots.</p>
+
+<p>The food is very good here, and, as Tommy says, there is <i>bags</i> of it.
+"Bags" is the great Army word for abundance. It is used apparently
+without discrimination, and so one hears of bags of jam, bags of beer,
+bags of bags, bags of fun, or anything else in or out of reason.</p>
+
+<p>For a student of dialect this hospital opens a large field. It is a
+regular Babel at times, our Sister speaking a superior Irish and the
+orderly an inferior brogue. In our tent are a Scotch, two Welsh, a
+Dorset and a Sussex Yeoman. In the next tent are some regulars of the
+Northumberland Fusiliers and Yorkshire Light Infantry, and a true-bred
+cockney Hussar, and their speech requires careful attention if the
+listener wishes to understand it, I can assure you. A few Kaffirs
+talking a bastard Dutch and an old Harrovian, who stutters like an
+excited soda water syphon, completes the Babel in my immediate
+neighbourhood.</p>
+
+<p>The Irish orderly, Mick, by the way, is one of the most wonderful and
+plausible fellows I have met out here. To say he could talk a donkey's
+hind leg off would be a mild way of describing his excessive
+volubility&mdash;he would chatter a centipede's legs off. Often when he comes
+in, with another orderly's broom, to make a pretence of sweeping the
+tent <span class="pagenum"><a id="page145" name="page145"></a>(p. 145)</span> out, and leaning on the stick, starts retailing stories
+of mystery and imagination, I lay down the book I am trying to read, and
+closing my eyes, drift into the land of true romance.</p>
+
+<a id="img020" name="img020"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img020.jpg" width="500" height="723" alt="Wear and tear." title="">
+</div>
+
+<p>It is a land uninhabited by ladyes fayre in the general way, for the
+<i>dramatis personæ</i> usually comprise "th' ortherly corp'ril"; "th'
+sargint of th' gyard"; "th' qua'thermasther, an' a low blaygyard he
+waz"; "th' gin'ril o' th' disthrict"; "a lif'tint in 'H' Company"; and
+other military personages, with "th' ortherly room" or a "disthrict
+coort-martial" thrown in. If I had only had a phonograph I would
+preserve them, and when I get home, have them set up in type, tastily
+bound, and announced as "Tales from the Ill, by R&mdash;. K&mdash;.," and then
+live a life of opulent ease on the proceeds thereof.</p>
+
+<p>"Th' sisther," as he calls her, says he is a dreadful man, and from her
+point of view I don't think she is far away from the truth. He argues
+about everything, and is always blaming his fellow orderlies. Still, it
+is the dreadful men who are invariably so entertaining.</p>
+
+<p>I have just heard that a friend, Trooper Bewes, a cheery fellow of the
+Devons, has succumbed to his wound. Christmas Eve, forsooth! His chum
+was shot through the stomach, and died on the veldt. Poor fellow, he
+(the chum) was always swallowing with avidity any rumour about our going
+home&mdash;perhaps he was too keen, and ironical fate stepped in. It's a hard
+Christmas Box for his poor people, is it not?</p>
+
+<p>We are debating whether to hang our socks up or not. If I do, and get
+something inside, it will probably be a scorpion. I found one in my boot
+a few days ago. The latest from our cheerful town pessimist, is "Don't
+be surprised if you are out another twelve months." Our Harrovian friend
+has summed up our feelings very aptly by stuttering, "If I had a bigger
+handkerchief I'd weep."</p>
+
+<p>A couple of orderlies have just passed our tent, bearing an inanimate
+blanket-covered form on a stretcher&mdash;the last of my poor Devon friend,
+beyond a doubt. Another was carried by about two hours ago, while we
+were having tea. Christmas Eve, forsooth! Well, I will resume this
+to-morrow, or on Boxing Day.</p>
+
+<p class="right5"><span class="pagenum"><a id="page146" name="page146"></a>(p. 146)</span> <i>Christmas Day.</i></p>
+
+<p>There are not many people who would do any letter-writing on the
+afternoon of this day. But out here one does marvellous deeds, which one
+would never dream of attempting at home. So here I am, my dinner
+finished, adding a few lines to this letter, commenced yesterday.</p>
+
+<p>Last night, in lieu of the festive carol singers, our waits (pickets)
+entertained us nearly all the night with volleys and independent firing.
+Whether the foe was real or imaginary I have not yet heard, but I
+believe the former. At four this morning I was awakened to have a
+fomentation on my leg, and drowsily realised it was Christmas Day. Then
+I fell asleep again, and dreamed of horrible adventures with Brother
+Boer. When we all awakened, we tried hard to convince one another it was
+indeed Christmas Day; one man actually going to the length of looking in
+his sock with a sneer, and all through the day "this time last year"
+anecdotes have been going strong amongst us of the I.Y.</p>
+
+<p class="poem30">
+  "And a sorrow's crown of sorrows<br>
+  Is remembering happier things."</p>
+
+<p>After breakfast I strolled up to the post-office tent on a forlorn hope
+for letters. There were none for me, but one and a fine Scotch
+shortbread for the wounded Fife man in the bed next to mine. The cake,
+the beauty of which we quickly marred, was tastefully decorated with
+sugared devices, and the inscription, "Ye'll a' be welcome hame!"</p>
+
+<p>Another fomentation, a visit from the doctor, who put us all on stout,
+and dinner was up. This consisted of the roast beef of Old&mdash;oh, no, it
+didn't, it was roast old trek ox, and I was unable to damage it with my
+well-worn teeth, so left it. The "duff" was not bad, and the quantity
+being augmented by a cold tinned one, which our Harrovian friend
+produced from his haversack, we fared very well, finishing up the repast
+with shortbread and a small bottle of stout each, with a diminutive
+pineapple for dessert.</p>
+
+<p>Everybody I meet seems agreed on one point, and that is there has been
+no Christmas this year. Well, let us hope we shall have a real
+old-fashioned one next year.</p>
+
+<p class="right5"><span class="pagenum"><a id="page147" name="page147"></a>(p. 147)</span> <i>New Year's Eve.</i></p>
+
+<p class="poem30">"The year is dying, <i>let him die</i>."</p>
+
+<p>Them's my sentiments&mdash;"let him die." Despite the <i>nil nisi bonum</i>
+sentiment, I can't find it in my heart to say (at this present time and
+in my present humour) a good word for the dying year, his last days
+having been ones to be remembered with&mdash;er&mdash;oblivion only, so to speak.
+Since writing last, I have been flying high&mdash;that is to say, my
+temperature has&mdash;having registered 104.4 (don't omit the point) for a
+couple of days. I was rather proud of this, for, as you know, I didn't
+swagger in here with a fever or anything like that. No, I simply and
+quietly waited about a week, and then let them see what I could do
+without any real effort. And that is the right way to do things.</p>
+
+<p>Look at Kitchener. People out here have been saying: "Wait till
+Kitchener is in command," and "Kitchener will do this and that." I
+sincerely hope he will. Mick, our day orderly, has just told me that "to
+hear people spake, ye'd think he cud brake eggs wid a hard
+stick,"&mdash;which I believe is his sarcastic way of summing up hero
+worship. I suggested most men could do that; whereupon Mick retorted:
+"Ye don't know, they might miss 'em." You never catch Mick napping. I
+only wish I could record the story of how he chucked the kits of "the
+Hon. Goschen and a nephew of the Juke of Portland's" out of one of the
+tents in 22 Ward, because they didn't choose the things which they
+wanted kept out, and let him take the rest away to the store tent.
+Needless to say, he was unaware at the time that he was entertaining
+angels.</p>
+
+<p>Kitchener visited the Hospital some time ago but I missed seeing him. I
+was sleeping at the time, and was awakened by his voice inquiring how we
+were, and turned round just in time to see a khaki mackintosh disappear
+through the door. Of course, I had met him before. He turned me out of a
+house at which the C.-in-C. and staff had luncheon the day we were
+marching on Johannesburg. My luncheon on that occasion consisted of a
+nibble at a small, raw potato.</p>
+
+<a id="img021" name="img021"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img021.jpg" width="400" height="522" alt="Sick." title="">
+</div>
+
+<div class="poem10">
+<p class="pb_0 add3em"><span class="pagenum"><a id="page149" name="page149"></a>(p. 149)</span> PARODY 9800134.</p>
+
+<p class="pt_0 add4em">(Only one verse.)</p>
+
+<p>When you've said "the war is over," and "the end is now in sight,"<br>
+<span class="add1em">And you've welcomed home your valiant C.I.V.'s,</span><br>
+  There are other absent beggars in the everlasting fight,<br>
+<span class="add1em">And not the least of these your Yeoman, please.</span><br>
+  He's a casual sort of Johnnie, and his casualties are great,<br>
+<span class="add1em">And on the veldt and kopjes you will find him,</span><br>
+  For he's still on active service, eating things without a plate,<br>
+<span class="add1em">And thinking of the things he's left behind him.</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="noindent">I'll spare you the chorus.</p>
+
+<p>The accompanying sketch, perhaps, needs a little explanation. To be
+brief, the British Army feels aggrieved at the praise bestowed on the
+C.I.V. Regiment, and its early return to England. To hear a discussion
+on our poor unoffending and former comrades is to have a sad exhibition
+of envy, hatred, malice, and all uncharitableness.</p>
+
+<p>Any amount of fellows have got bad teeth, and when one considers the
+trek-ox and the army biscuit, one cannot be surprised. A lance-corporal
+of ours went before the doctor last week on this score; he had
+practically no teeth, and has been <i>sent into Pretoria on a month's
+furlough</i>. It is generally circulated in the squadron that the
+authorities expect fresh ones to grow in that time.</p>
+
+<p class="right10"><i>Tuesday, January 1st, 1901.</i></p>
+
+<p>I saw the New Year in&mdash;in bed. There is little or no news, when we do
+get some it is usually unsatisfactory. I suppose you know we have no
+paper in Pretoria; the best they can do for us is to let us buy for a
+tikkie the <i>Bloemfontein Post</i>, always four days old, and its contents!
+The same brief, ancient and censored war news, the inspired leading
+article, a column on a cricket match between two scratch Bloemfontein
+teams, a treason trial, advertisements for I.L.H. and other recruits,
+and that is about all. Well, here's "A Happy New Year to us all."</p>
+
+<p>There are some terrible dunder-headed beings in this world of ours. I
+saw one the day I came through Pretoria to this hospital. We were
+acquaintances in London, and with the eye of a hawk he picked me out of
+a load of dirty, khaki-clad wretches, and pounced on me with "What on
+earth did you come out here for?" I told him "to play knuckle bones."</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page150" name="page150"></a>(p. 150)</span> In the tent next to this is a quiet man with a gun-shot wound
+in his knee. He is Vicary, V.C., of the Dorset Regiment. You may
+remember he won it in the Tirah campaign for a deed immeasurably
+superior to that of Findlater's; he saved an officer's life by killing
+five Afridis, shooting two and bayoneting and butt-ending the rest&mdash;a
+messy job. He is a small, quiet man, and wild horses could not induce
+him to talk of the winning of his V.C. He won't say a "blooming" word on
+the subject to anyone, not even an orderly.</p>
+
+<p>We have a small library in the hospital (Mrs. Dick Chamberlain's). I got
+Max O'Rell's "John Bull and Co." from it a few days ago. It concludes
+with the author's reply to a question asked him the day before he left
+South Africa.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, after all these long travels what are you going to do now?"</p>
+
+<p>"What am I going to do?" he replied; "I am going to Europe to look at an
+old wall with a bit of ivy on it."</p>
+
+<p>And, by the Lord Harry, that's just what I want to do myself.</p>
+
+<p class="tb">*******</p>
+
+<p>I'm getting rather tired of my prolonged loaf in Arcadia, for that is
+the name of this part of Pretoria, and although it is really not my
+fault, still I feel ashamed of myself for not being with the company.
+Still, even if I were out of the hospital, I should merely be able to
+join a number of details of Sussex, Devon, Dorset, Fife, and other
+Yeomen who are waiting in Pretoria an indefinite time for remounts and
+fresh equipment. I daresay my last letter, if it arrived at all arrived
+later than usual, as the day the mails left here there was a biggish
+fight a few miles down the line at the first station (Irene), and the
+train had to return. It is also rumoured that the home mails due were
+held up and collared, a hardy perennial this.</p>
+
+<p>All last Friday we could hear big guns pounding away, and we heard on
+Saturday that the enemy had pulled up a good deal of the line, but the
+fort, or forts, at Irene had held their own. In addition to this, rumour
+hath it that Delarey and eight hundred (or 500, or 1,000) have been
+killed or <span class="pagenum"><a id="page151" name="page151"></a>(p. 151)</span> captured, also that Clements has been killed. But
+all this, as usual, needs confirmation. So inaccurate or vague is actual
+news when we do get it, that a big fight might take place in the nearest
+back-garden, and we should be absolutely ignorant of the real details of
+the combat.</p>
+
+<p>I have just heard that the news that General Clements is dead is
+correct. He died of a wound received some days ago I am told. If it is
+true, we have lost another good officer and brave man.</p>
+
+<p>We certainly have made every use of our privilege as Englishmen to
+grumble since we have been out here. A certain Bill Fletcher, erstwhile
+a Cockney pot boy, now of Kitchener's Horse, has just taken a bed in our
+tent, and has announced that he is tired of the "blooming" country,
+where the "blooming" flowers don't smell, the "blooming" birds don't
+sing, and the "blooming" fruit don't taste (this latter charge is not
+quite correct), and he wants to get back to the "blooming" fog and smoke
+of London; all this, and he has only been at it five months.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec43" name="sec43"></a>
+<h3>The Career of an Untruth.</h3>
+
+<p>Clements is not dead, and Delarey and his friends are not captured.</p>
+
+<p>I am telling you the latest rumours and anti-rumours, as this letter
+progresses.</p>
+
+<p>And yet the man I had the first version from had had it from an R.A.M.C.
+Sergeant, who had it on the most reliable authority of the commandant's
+orderly, who had heard the commandant tell it to the P.M.O. He had also
+been corroborated by a man who had seen the man who took it down from
+the heliograph. Also one of the hospital runners had heard Dr. &mdash;&mdash; tell
+Dr. &mdash;&mdash;, and a friend of his had a friend who knew a man on the
+officers' mess, who had seen it up in orders, distinctly.</p>
+
+<p>A Tommy came in just now and said "Hullo, Corporal!" I shook his flipper
+weakly and tried the dodge of pretending to recognise him. But I had to
+give it up, and admit I could not for the moment recognise him, and
+thought he had made a mistake. To which he replied he had not, and
+didn't I remember the soap. I did.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page152" name="page152"></a>(p. 152)</span> About two months or more ago, having halted at mid-day at some
+fontein or other <i>en route</i> for Rustenburg, Whiteing and I went down to
+the nearest stream to have the usual wash. There we found heaps of
+fellows washing; but, alas! there was a great dearth of soap. A
+Northumberland man asked me if I could sell him some, and I gave him a
+small chunk. The demand was great, and there was practically no supply.
+When we got back to our lines, Whiteing, ever forgetful, discovered he
+had left his precious brown Windsor behind. It was too late to go back
+to try and find it, so he gave up all hopes of ever seeing it again. The
+next day, as we were riding through the infantry advance guard of the
+Border Regiment, one of the fellows shouted to me, asking if I had lost
+any soap the day before. I replied "No," and then recollected Whiteing's
+loss added that a friend of mine had. My infantry friend thereupon
+promised to bring it round in the evening, which he did. In this manner
+we became acquainted with him. I mention this incident just to show what
+a really good sportsman the true Thomas is. Here was soap in great
+request: we were strangers to him, having merely chatted with him and
+the others as we washed in the mud and water, and yet, without our even
+making enquiries for the precious lump, he went out of his way to return
+it.</p>
+
+<p>I asked him why he had come into the hospital, and he told me he and
+several others had been sent in as unfit for the veldt, and so were to
+act as hospital orderlies. When I inquired how he liked the idea, he
+said it was all right, as he was clear of the horrible
+"hundred-and-fifty," and he laid his hands significantly where the
+pouches are wont to decorate the waist of the poor infantryman.</p>
+
+<p class="quote">
+     [<i>Note.</i>&mdash;I suppose you know the infantryman's cross is the hated
+     150 rounds in the two pouches, which after many miles marching
+     become most irksome, especially for the muscles of the stomach.]</p>
+
+<p>I, of course, inquired after Nobby, but he could not tell me anything
+about him, as Nobby is in "H" Company and his was "B."</p>
+
+<p>To-day (the 16th) a large number of fellows are leaving here for the
+base and, the rumour is&mdash;<i>home</i>.</p>
+
+<a id="img022" name="img022"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img022.jpg" width="400" height="575" alt="Got his ticket." title="">
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page154" name="page154"></a>(p. 154)</span> The P.M.O. asked a Yeomanry friend yesterday if he would like
+to go home or join his squadron, and the Yeoman's reply was he would
+like to rejoin his squadron&mdash;at home. In explanation, he smilingly
+stated that all of his squadron's officers, bar one, had gone home, and
+nearly all the squadron, having been invalided or discharged. Well, I
+think this is long enough for a letter written by a man who can hardly
+claim to be "on active service" just at present.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec44" name="sec44"></a>
+<h3>The Sisters' Albums.</h3>
+
+<p class="right10"><i>Sunday, January 26th, 1901.</i></p>
+
+<p>Still at the above address, but going strong, and almost losing the
+Spartan habits engendered by my recent life on the veldt!</p>
+
+<p>News is very scarce with us, and to dare to write you a long letter
+would be the height of impudence, so I will let you off with a
+moderately short one this week.</p>
+
+<p>Last week an original burlesque (perhaps I ought to politely designate
+it a musical comedy) was produced in a large marquee here, which is
+called "the theatre." I don't know what the name of the piece was but it
+dealt with a Hospital Commission, and the <i>dramatis personæ</i> consisted
+of a Boer spy, posing as the Commissioner, the real Commissioner, as a
+new nurse, nurses, orderlies, Kaffirs and doctors, amongst the latter
+being a Scotch Doctor, who drank a deal of "whuskey" and whose diagnoses
+were most entertaining. It was quite pathetic to watch the keen interest
+with which the audience followed the diversions of "Dr. Sandy" with the
+bottle.</p>
+
+<p>I have been concerned in "doing something" in our day nurse's album
+lately (I think I have already alluded to the presence of the album evil
+out here). I have willingly volunteered to contribute to these volumes,
+hoping to see their contents, but, alas, in most cases I have had to
+start the tome; however, in the present case the album has been well
+started by various patients. Most of the efforts are strikingly original
+and all in verse, so I determined to do something for the honour of the
+county of my birth, and, securing a pen and ink, perpetrated some
+Michael Angelic-like sketches of "the-ministering-angel-thou," order.
+Then, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page155" name="page155"></a>(p. 155)</span> hearing that a poem (scratch a Tommy and you'll find a
+poet) was expected, valiantly started off with something like this:</p>
+
+<p class="poem30">
+  "She wore a cape of scarlet,<br>
+  The eve when first we met;<br>
+  A gown of grey was on her form<br>
+  (I wore some flannelette!):<br>
+  She was a sister to us all,<br>
+  And yet no relation;<br>
+  She stuck upon my dexter leg,<br>
+  A hot fomentation."</p>
+
+<p>But appearing suggestive of something else, I crossed it out and finally
+produced the following ambitious ode:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem20">
+  <p class="add3em smcap">The Great Panacea.</p>
+
+<p>Poets from time of yore have sung<br>
+  In every clime and every tongue,<br>
+  Of beauty and the pow'r of love,<br>
+  Of things on earth and things above.</p>
+
+<p>Sonnets to ladyes' eyes indited,<br>
+  And for such stuff been killed or knighted.<br>
+  They've raved on this and raved on that,<br>
+  The dog or the domestic cat.</p>
+
+<p>On blessëd peace and glorious war,<br>
+  On deeds of daring dashed with gore,<br>
+  And scores of other wondrous deeds,<br>
+  Which History or Tradition heeds.</p>
+
+<p>But I would humbly sing to praise<br>
+  Something unhonoured in those lays&mdash;<br>
+  The cure for broken legs and arms,<br>
+  For suff'rers of rheumatic qualms.</p>
+
+<p>For wounds by bullet or the knife,<br>
+  Obtained in peace or deadly strife;<br>
+  For broken heads or sprainëd toes,<br>
+  And myriad other sorts of woes,<br>
+  For that incurable disease<br>
+  "Fed up" or "tired of C.I.V.'s."</p>
+
+<p>For pom-pom fever, Mauseritis,<br>
+  The toothache or the loafertitis.<br>
+  For broken heart or broken nose,<br>
+  For every sickness science knows.</p>
+
+<p>All these and ev'ry other ill,<br>
+  Are cured by that well-known Pill;<br>
+  'Tis made on earth with pow'rs divine,<br>
+  I sing in praise of <i>Number Nine</i>.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>To expatiate further upon the famous "No. 9 Pill" would be absurd, as it
+is as great an institution of the British Army out here as the 4.7 or
+pom-pom.</p>
+
+<a id="img023" name="img023"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img023.jpg" width="500" height="622" alt="Thoughtless Sister." title="">
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page156" name="page156"></a>(p. 156)</span> We are still suffering (worse than ever) from a paucity of news
+and a superabundance of rumours; indeed the supply of the latter far
+exceeds the demand, and budding fictionists eclipse themselves daily.
+Had the Psalmist lived <span class="pagenum"><a id="page157" name="page157"></a>(p. 157)</span> in these days, I feel sure he would
+hardly have contented himself with the gentle statement that "all men
+are liars," but have indulged in language far more emphatic. Still as
+far as we are concerned, the Boers can beat the most brilliant efforts
+of our own fellows any day.</p>
+
+<p>We have a lot of Regulars in this hospital, and it is amusing at times,
+and at others rather irritating, to hear some of their criticisms of the
+Yeomanry. I recently heard some of them (good fellows) chaffing merrily
+over certain Yeomanry (a very small number), who were concerned in an
+unfortunate affair some time ago, totally ignoring the fact that a
+<i>large</i> number of Regular Infantry and Mounted Infantry were also
+equally involved. Again the Cavalry may make a mistake, and they have
+made a few, but we don't hear much about their incapacity, but let the
+Yeomanry commit a similar error, and we hear about it, I can tell you. I
+venture these few remarks in common fairness to the Yeomanry, my
+temperature being quite normal, as I fancy they have often been used as
+a butt where others would have done as well.</p>
+
+<p>The explanation, it appears, is this. A corps of new Yeomanry is being
+formed, who are to receive five shillings a day; we also, of the
+original Yeomanry, are to receive the same at the expiration of a year's
+service, having up till then been paid the regular cavalry pay, for
+which we enlisted. Naturally, Thomas A. feels exceedingly wroth at
+"blooming ammychewers" receiving such remuneration, and to use his own
+metaphor, "chews the fat" accordingly. His position and feelings remind
+me very strongly of the poor soldier in "The Tin Gee-Gee!"</p>
+
+<p class="poem20">
+  Then that little tin soldier he sobbed and sighed,<br>
+<span class="add1em">So I patted his little tin head,</span><br>
+  "What vexes your little tin soul?" said I,<br>
+<span class="add1em">And this is what he said:</span><br>
+  "I've been on this stall a very long time,<br>
+<span class="add1em">And I'm marked '1/3' as you see,</span><br>
+  While just above my head he's marked '5 bob,'<br>
+<span class="add1em">Is a bloke in the Yeoman-ree.</span><br>
+  Now he hasn't any service and he hasn't got no drill,<br>
+<span class="add1em">And I'm better far than he,</span><br>
+  Then why mark us at fifteen pence,<br>
+<span class="add1em">And five bob the Yeoman-ree?"</span><br>
+<span class="add2em spaced2">etc.       etc.       etc.</span></p>
+
+<p>I am very sorry for poor friend Thomas.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page158" name="page158"></a>(p. 158)</span> On Wednesday (the 23rd) we heard the sad news that our Queen
+was dead. It came as quite a blow to us, and even now seems hardly
+credible; we had only heard the previous day of her serious condition.
+All through the Hospital everyone seems to be experiencing a personal
+bereavement. I overheard a Tommy remark, in a subdued tone full of
+respect, when he was told the news, "Well she done her jewty." And I am
+sure it summed up his and our feelings very accurately. A man has also
+told me of the death of Captain McLean, at Krugersdorp, which is very
+sad; he always looked so fit. Mr. Cory is now captain of our squadron
+and the only Sussex Yeomanry officer in South Africa.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec45" name="sec45"></a>
+<h3>"Long live the King!"</h3>
+
+<p class="right10"><i>January 30th, 1901.</i></p>
+
+<p>You will soon begin to think that I am a permanent boarder at this
+place; indeed, I almost feel so myself now; though as a matter of fact I
+am expecting to be marked out any hour&mdash;the sooner the better, for the
+enforced inactivity is by no means free from monotony, not to mention
+headaches, toothaches, and sleepless nights, from which one seldom
+suffers on the veldt. I have found out a dodge for obtaining a better
+night's sleep than is one's usual lot, and that is a good pitched pillow
+fight before turning in. Of course, it is advisable not to be caught by
+the night sister.</p>
+
+<p>Last night we had a terrific storm, and had to stand by the poles and
+tent walls for a long time. The wind, hail and rain were tremendous, and
+in spite of our tents all being on sloping ground, with trenches a foot
+deep around them, we got a bit of moisture in as it was.</p>
+
+<p>On Monday, His Majesty King Edward VII., was proclaimed in Pretoria, a
+salute of guns fired from the Artillery barracks, and all flags
+temporarily mast-headed, and back to you good folks at home we sent
+echoing our loyal sentiment, "God save the King."</p>
+
+<p>On Saturday, Whiteing waltzed gaily up and paid me a visit, having got
+leave into Pretoria from Rietfontein, where he had been left with other
+men, all minus noble quadrupeds, and on Sunday another old comrade, the
+Great Boleno, darkened the door of our tent and brightened me with the
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page159" name="page159"></a>(p. 159)</span> light of his presence. He had been one of Clements' orderlies
+for the last two months, and had accompanied the general into Pretoria,
+and succeeded in securing a good civil berth in the town.</p>
+
+<a id="img024" name="img024"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img024.jpg" width="400" height="536" alt="God save the King!" title="">
+</div>
+
+<p>From these I learnt the fortunes of the battalion up to date. Briefly,
+after I left them they were some time at Rietfontein; then at
+Buffalspoort, where they did delightful guards, pickets, and early
+morning standing to horses; after which those possessed of horses went
+on to Rustenburg, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page160" name="page160"></a>(p. 160)</span> I believe, where they now are, the horseless
+ones going back into Rietfontein.</p>
+
+<p>So now the Seventh Battalion of Imperial Yeomanry, like many others, is
+spread well over the face of the land.<a id="footnotetag8" name="footnotetag8"></a><a href="#footnote8" title="Go to footnote 8"><span class="smaller">[8]</span></a> Some of the fellows are home;
+some on their way thither; some in this hospital, some in others; some
+are in the police; some in civil employment; some with sick horses at
+Rietfontein; some in a detail camp at Elandsfontein (near Johannesburg);
+some with the battalion, at Rustenburg; and some, alas, are not.</p>
+
+<p>Whiteing gave me a vivid description of his journey into Pretoria on one
+of the steam-sappers running between that town and Rietfontein; they are
+known as the Pretoria-Rietfontein expresses. As he put it, they stop for
+nothing, over rocks, through spruits and dongas, squelch over one of
+French's milestones here and there, the ponderous iron horse snorted on
+its wild career till its destination was reached.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec46" name="sec46"></a>
+<h3>The Irish Fusilier's Ambition.</h3>
+
+<p>Though I am well off for literature of all sorts (my locker is a
+scandal), I don't seem to be able to settle down to anything like a
+quiet, enjoyable read at all. Tommy Atkins <i>never</i> seems to realise that
+one cannot carry on a conversation and read a book simultaneously, or
+write a letter.</p>
+
+<p class="poemctr">
+        "Oh for a booke and a shadie nooke,<br>
+           Eyther indoore or out;<br>
+  With the grene leaves whysperynge overheade,<br>
+           Or the streete cryes all about.<br>
+         Where I maie reade all at mine ease,<br>
+            Both of the newe and olde;<br>
+  For a jollie goode booke whereon to looke,<br>
+            Is better to me than golde."</p>
+
+<p>Thus the olde songe. And the kopjes are gazing stonily at me through the
+tent door; a man two beds off is squirming and ejaculating under the
+massage treatment of a powerful khaki <i>masseur</i>; doctors, sisters,
+orderlies, and runners come and go; a triangular duel between three
+patients on the usual subject&mdash;the superior merits of their respective
+regiments&mdash;is in full swing; and the realisation of the foregoing rhyme
+seems afar off.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page161" name="page161"></a>(p. 161)</span> I, however, am not the only man with yearnings for a different
+state of affairs. Private Patrick McLaughlan, of the Inniskilling
+Fusiliers, occupying the bed on my right, has his. He often tells us his
+ideal of happiness, a "pub" corner with half-a-dozen pint pots
+containing ambrosial "four 'arf" before him, and a well-seasoned old
+clay three inches long filled with black Irish twist.</p>
+
+<p>The other day I ventured to Omarise his ideal of the earthly paradise
+thus:</p>
+
+<p class="poem30">
+  A pipe of blackish hue for smoking fit,<br>
+  Some good ould Irish twist to put in it;<br>
+<span class="add1em">Six pints of beer in a hostel snug,</span><br>
+  And there, a king in Paradise, I'd sit.</p>
+
+<p>His only comment was a vast expectoration.</p>
+
+<p>By-the-way, my friend, Patrick, relates a good loot tale which befell
+his regiment in the Free State. They camped one day within easy distance
+of a store, kept by the usual gentleman of Hebrew extraction. Pat and
+his comrades made a rush for the place and collared all of the condensed
+milk, for which the merchant charged (or attempted to) a shilling per
+tin. About five men, early arrivals, paid; then in the scramble which
+ensued the rest omitted to do likewise. On returning to camp and opening
+the tins the milk appeared peculiar, and the regimental Æsculapius
+hearing of it, inspected the tins, pronounced them bad, and told the men
+to take them back to the store and get <i>their money</i> refunded, which
+they did. Of course, the gentle Hebrew protested vehemently, but Tommy,
+with the medical officer's word behind him, soon persuaded him to do
+what he was told. Patrick was six shillings to the good over this
+transaction. And I daresay the wily Israelite regretted having had such
+a large stock of milk, though presumably he had hoped to rob the
+Philistines, not, as the case proved, to be doubly done by them.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec47" name="sec47"></a>
+<h3>"War without End."</h3>
+
+<p class="center">(<span class="smcap">An Interlude</span>.)</p>
+
+<p>He came up to me and handed me a photograph. I took it, and beheld a
+being clad in a new khaki uniform and obviously conscious of the fact.
+An empty bandolier crossed <span class="pagenum"><a id="page162" name="page162"></a>(p. 162)</span> his extended chest diagonally. His
+slouch hat was well tilted to the right, with the chin strap arranged
+just under the lower lip. The putties were immaculately entwined around
+his legs&mdash;in short the <i>tout ensemble</i> was decidedly smart and
+soldier-like. His right hand rested lightly on a Sheraton table; in the
+immediate background was a portion of a low ornamental garden wall, in
+the distance was a ruin principally composed of Ionic columns in various
+positions&mdash;presumably the devastating work of the warrior in the
+foreground, "Look on that," he said bitterly, and as I returned it, "and
+on this, the <i>backbone</i> of the British Army," smiting his manly breast.
+I looked, and in the bronzed, unshaven face and raggedly-apparelled
+figure before me, recognised a certain semblance to him of the
+photograph. I smiled sympathetically. "As it was," quoth he, "now and
+ever shall be, war without end." I turned to go, but was not fated to
+escape so easily. He held me with his bloodshot eyes, and perforce I
+stayed. With upraised voice he declaimed thus:</p>
+
+<p class="poem30 add2em">THE PSALM OF STRIFE.</p>
+
+<p class="poem05">(<i>Being what the Yeoman said to the Psalmist.</i>)</p>
+
+<div class="poem30">
+<p>Tell me not in ceaseless rumours<br>
+<span class="add1em">That we soon are going home,</span><br>
+  Just to cure our bitter humours,<br>
+<span class="add1em">While upon the veldt we roam.</span></p>
+
+<p>War is real, and war is earnest,<br>
+<span class="add1em">And Pretoria warn't the goal,</span><br>
+  Out thou cam'st, but when returnest<br>
+<span class="add1em">Is not known to any soul.</span></p>
+
+<p>Forward, fighting, smoking, chewing,<br>
+<span class="add1em">With a heart for any fate,</span><br>
+  Still achieving, still pursuing,<br>
+<span class="add1em">And arriving&mdash;<i>just too late</i>.</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="noindent">I fled.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec48" name="sec48"></a>
+<h3>Invitations&mdash;and a Concert.</h3>
+
+<p class="right10"><i>Wednesday, February 6th, 1901.</i></p>
+
+<p>Another week has rolled away; a week's march nearer home anyway, and
+like the great MacMahon, I am here and here I sticks. The most thrilling
+event of the past seven <span class="pagenum"><a id="page163" name="page163"></a>(p. 163)</span> days has been the sudden and
+unexpected reception of mails, after having abandoned all hope, and a
+parcel which arrived in Pretoria for me during the first week in
+September.</p>
+
+<p>I was interested to read in an enclosed note that my aunt hoped I should
+be home to spend Christmas with her. By-the-bye, people have been
+awfully good in sending me invitations to weddings, funerals, and
+christenings. In August last I was the recipient of a dainty invitation
+to the wedding of a friend. The sad event was to take place in June. I
+didn't go. The latest was a cream-laid affair, from another quarter, on
+which I was requested in letters of gold to honour certain near and dear
+relatives with my presence at the christening of their firstborn. As the
+affair was to take place in December, and I received the pressing
+invitation at the end of January&mdash;I was again unable to be present at
+another interesting ceremony. I have also received several invitations
+to Terpsichorean revels. My R.S.V.P. has been curtly to the effect that
+"Mr. P.T.R. is not dancing this season."</p>
+
+<p>As regards deaths and funerals, I have seen and attended more than
+enough of them out here. At this present moment a friend, a New
+Zealander, is in parlous plight. He was shot in the right shoulder, the
+wound soon healed, but the arm was almost useless, so the massage fiend
+here used to come and give him terrible gip. Then doctor No. 3 came
+along, said he had been treated wrongly, that the artery was severed,
+etc., and operated on him. The operation itself was successful, but as
+regards other matters, it is touch and go with him, his arm is black up
+to a little above the elbow, in places it is ebony, and, I understand,
+amputation, if the worse comes to the worst, is almost out of the
+question. So, with others, I go in to keep him cheered up, and chaff him
+over the champagne and other luxuries he is on, suggesting what a lovely
+black eye his ebony right mawler might give a fellow, and feeling all
+the time a strong inclination to do a sob. He is such a rattling fine
+fellow, indeed, all the Colonials I have met are.<a id="footnotetag9" name="footnotetag9"></a><a href="#footnote9" title="Go to footnote 9"><span class="smaller">[9]</span></a></p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page164" name="page164"></a>(p. 164)</span> Last night we had an open-air concert; the best part of it, as
+is often the case at such affairs, appeared to be the refreshments which
+were provided for the officers and artists. The talent was really not of
+a high order, being supplied from Pretoria.</p>
+
+<p>The chairman, who introduced the performers and announced the items,
+affording us most entertainment, usually, unconsciously, he being a
+long-winded individual, and invariably commencing his remarks with
+"Er-hem! Ladies and gentleman, a great Greek philosopher once said"&mdash;or
+"There is an old proverb." He essayed to give us "The dear Homeland,"
+but being interrupted in one of his most ambitious vocal flights by a
+giddy young officer (and a gentleman) throwing a bundle of music and a
+bunch of vegetables at him, hastily finished his song, and in a
+dignified voice requested us to conclude the proceedings by singing "God
+Save the Quing." This was the first time I had sung the National Anthem,
+since the death of our Queen, and I felt, as no doubt everybody has
+experienced, a most peculiar feeling on singing the words, "God Save the
+King."</p>
+
+<p>Then to bed, but not to sleep, for that is a difficult matter here&mdash;so I
+laid and chatted with a trooper of Roberts' Horse, the latest occupant
+of the next bed to me. He is, or rather was, a schoolmaster, wears
+spectacles and is grey-headed; what induced him to join in this little
+game heaven, and he, only know. In the midst of a discussion on the
+Afrikander Bond and the South African League, the night sister came in
+and imperiously bade us be silent and go to sleep. So the grey-headed
+schoolmaster and my humble self, like guilty children, became silent,
+and serenaded by the ubiquitous mosquito wooed sweet Morpheus.</p>
+
+<p>Thursday, February 7th. Last night it rained steadily nearly all night;
+and it has just recommenced. It is quite an agreeable change to see a
+leaden sky and hear the rain softly pattering on the tent roof, after
+many days of sweltering, dazzling heat, <i>when one is in a comfortable
+tent</i>. But it makes me think of and wish for a comfortable room at home,
+a good book, pipe, and an easy chair, the prospect outside beautifully
+dreary and rainy, a fire in front of me and my slippered feet on the
+library mantelpiece.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page165" name="page165"></a>(p. 165)</span> A rather amusing incident occurred just now. One of the Devon
+Yeomanry who went up to the tent which is our post-office, on the
+off-chance of getting a letter, to his great astonishment got one. He
+came back eyeing the address suspiciously, and remarking, "It's tracts,
+I'm thinkin." His conjecture turned out correct. It appears that a
+certain thoughtful and religious society at home looks down the lists of
+the wounded and, now and again, sends some of the worst cases tracts.
+The title of one of the pamphlets was, "I've got my ticket," which
+amused us immensely, for to get one's ticket means to be booked for
+home. Another title was "The finger of God"&mdash;this to a man who has had
+an explosive bullet through his forearm seems rather rough.</p>
+
+<p>I fear my letters are becoming dreadfully reminiscent and anecdotal, but
+adventures and wanderings are not for the man who loafs in hospital.</p>
+
+<p>Wednesday, February 13th. I am all <i>kiff</i> (military for "right"). This
+morning we had a mild joke with a new night orderly. As you may be
+aware, it is this gentleman's duty to wash all the bad bed patients.
+When he came in soon after <i>reveillé</i> and asked if there were any bed
+patients to be washed, we all feebly replied, "Yes, all of us," and he
+had ablutionised three before he discovered the deception, when he
+anathematised us all.</p>
+
+<p>News is more rigorously suppressed than ever, and undoubtedly it is the
+right thing to do. Everybody is of this opinion, for the <i>friendly</i>
+Dutch in Pretoria and elsewhere used to know far too much.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec49" name="sec49"></a>
+<h3>Our Orderly's Blighted Heart.</h3>
+
+<p>Friday. Yesterday was unfortunately the day of Valentine the Saint. I
+say "unfortunately" for this reason: I was just about to continue this
+letter, when our day orderly came in, and taking advantage of my
+sympathetic and credulous nature, after boldly reminding me that it was
+St. Valentine's Day, told me that he had only loved once and never would
+again.</p>
+
+<p>In this respect he differs considerably from the majority of orderlies.
+He then comfortably arranged himself on a vacant bed, and unsolicited,
+with a smiling face, told me the romantic story of his blighted
+affection. As it may interest <span class="pagenum"><a id="page166" name="page166"></a>(p. 166)</span> you, I will give you a condensed
+version of the same. Would to Heaven he had so dealt with me. But I was
+born to suffer, and was I not in hospital? As a coster lad he went with
+a young woman who loved him. He also loved her. Her name was Olivia. She
+went upon the "styge," and loved him still. Then an old nobleman (Sir
+&mdash;&mdash;) fell in love with her, followed her persistently, and wooed her
+through her parents. He was rich but honest, and it was a case of
+December and April, for she was all showers&mdash;of tears. At last, against
+her heart's dictates, she married him and became an old man's
+pet&mdash;nuisance, I should imagine, and my orderly friend became a soldier.
+Alas for the trio, she could not forget her old, I mean young, love, and
+eventually blew her brains out in Paris. They spattered the ceiling and
+ruined the carpet&mdash;I forgot the rest, (there was a lovely account of it
+in the <i>People</i>), for over-taxed nature could stand no more, and I fell
+asleep dreaming of reporters wading ankle-deep in blood in a Louis
+Quatorze drawing-room, taking notes of a terrible tragedy in high life,
+and was horrified to hear a loud report, followed by a gurgling sound,
+and, opening my eyes, beheld&mdash;Mr. Orderly holding one of my bottles of
+stout upside down to his lips, and in his other hand my corkscrew with a
+cork on the end of it.</p>
+
+<p>Private McLaughlan, of the Inniskillings, having heard of this, informed
+me that he "jined th' Army" because his father would not let him keep
+five racehorses; and Private Hewitt, of the 12th M.I., gave his reason
+as being his refusal to marry a <i>h</i>eiress. After this our orderly ceased
+from troubling&mdash;for a time.</p>
+
+<p>Amongst the many sad cases I have come across, here is one which strikes
+me as being particularly pitiable. A poor fellow of the 2nd Lincolns is
+the patient I am thinking about. He is deaf, deaf as a stone wall, is
+sickening for enteric, cannot read, and is at times delirious. The tent
+the poor fellow is in is not a very good one, and he seems quite
+friendless. There he lies in his bed, never uttering a word or hearing
+one, and as helpless as a child. Some mornings back I saw him eating his
+porridge with his fingers, the man who had handed it to him having
+forgotten to give him a spoon. His utter loneliness seems too awful. I
+wonder what his poor mind thinks about. When told <span class="pagenum"><a id="page167" name="page167"></a>(p. 167)</span> that he
+would probably be sent home, he said he did not want to go. Surely
+somewhere in God's sweet world there is somebody who cares for and
+thinks about him. I cannot half express to you the sadness of his
+solitude.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec50" name="sec50"></a>
+<h3>Southward Ho!</h3>
+
+  <p class="right10 pb_0 smcap">No. 2 Hospital Train,</p>
+  <p class="right pt_0"><i>Monday, February 18th.</i></p>
+
+<p>On Friday I had my sheet marked with those magic words "For base,"
+paraded on Saturday morning before the P.M.O., and a few hours later was
+told to go to the pack store, draw my kit, and be ready to entrain at
+five. So I had to rush about.</p>
+
+<p>It was soon time to parade for the station, and I had to rush through as
+many leave-takings as possible. Good-bye to Sister Douglas, Sister
+Mavius, Sister O'Connor; to an Australian Bushman friend with injured
+toes, who hobbles about on his heels; to poor old Scotty, the New
+Zealander, as game as they make them, who is to have his right arm off
+on Monday (to-day); to a big, good-natured gunner of No. 10 Mountain
+Battery, whose acquaintance I had only just made; to a Piccadilly
+Yeoman; to our day orderly, and dozens of other good fellows, and I had
+said farewell, or perhaps only <i>au revoir</i>, to the I.Y. Hospital
+Arcadia, with the doctor of our ward, Dr. Douglas, one of the cleverest
+and best, the Sisters with their albums, and all its tragedies and
+comedies. Perjuring my soul beyond redemption by cordial promises to
+write to all and sundry, so I left them.</p>
+
+<p class="tb">****</p>
+
+<p>Once aboard the lugger, I should say train, our berths were allotted to
+us, and we soon settled down. The whole thing is very much like being on
+shipboard, save that there the authorities are all for turning you out
+of your hammocks ("turn out o' them 'ammicks!"), and here they are all
+for keeping you in your bunk, the space being so limited. On each man's
+bed was a well-filled white canvas bag, being a present from the Good
+Hope and British Red Cross Societies. These were opened with no little
+curiosity. Strange to say one of the first things an old toothless
+Yorkshireman drew out was&mdash;a toothbrush. This caused general amusement.
+There was nothing shoddy about the <span class="pagenum"><a id="page168" name="page168"></a>(p. 168)</span> contents of these bags;
+they contained a suit of pyjamas, shoes, a shirt, socks, towel, sponge
+bag with sponge, soap, and toothbrush in it, a hairbrush, and
+handkerchief. So could you but see me now, as I write, you would behold
+a being clad in a swagger suit of Cambridge blue pyjamas.</p>
+
+<p>Before daybreak a terrific bang aroused us to the fact that the engine
+which was to bear us southward had come into action, and soon we were
+under way. At Elandsfontein we beheld the mail train <i>with our mails</i>
+going up. Farewell to mails! Kroonstad was reached at half-past two, and
+we were shunted into a siding till this morning, when we resumed our
+journey, passing <i>through</i> Bloemfontein, to our joy, and arriving at
+Springfontein soon after dark.</p>
+
+<p>What a gigantic affair this war has been, and is. To travel through
+these countries, the Transvaal, Orange River Colony, and the Cape Colony
+(Tuesday morning, we are now in the latter) by rail alone is to feel all
+criticism silenced.</p>
+
+<p>Already we have passed hundreds of miles of flat veldt, with now and
+again big kopjes in the background. At every station, bridge, and small
+culvert are bodies of regulars, militia, and volunteers, or colonial and
+other mounted troops. And when one considers that the bigger towns are
+being strongly held, also various posts all over these countries, and
+columns are operating in various districts, the whole affair fills one
+with wonder and admiration. We expect to reach Deelfontein this evening.
+An R.A.M.C. man has just been discussing that ghastly failure,
+inoculation, with another man. Said he: "Inoculation is bally
+tommy-rot!" Quoth the other, "That be hanged for a yarn. Tommy rot,
+indeed, it nearly killed me!" It's a fact, the unnecessary suffering
+which was endured by the poor beggars who allowed this experiment to be
+performed upon them, with the hope of spoofing the fever fiend, has been
+great. And strange to say, in many cases they (the inoculated) have been
+the first victims.</p>
+
+<p>Once again we are amongst our old enemies, the kopjes, which, south of
+the Orange River Colony, begin to assert themselves again. There has
+been any amount of <span class="pagenum"><a id="page169" name="page169"></a>(p. 169)</span> rain down this way, and muddy water is
+flowing like the milk and honey of the promised land. From wet tents and
+saturated blanket kennels bronzed ragamuffins appear at every halting
+spot, and simultaneously they and we ask each other the old, old
+question, "Any news?"</p>
+
+<p>Sometimes they break the monotony of the negative by telling us that "De
+Wet is mortally wounded," or "has got away again," and we tell them that
+"Botha is surrounded." Some of the sanguine spirits aboard this train
+are buoying themselves up with the idea of getting home. Alas! there's
+many a slip 'twixt the land and the ship, as I fear they will find to
+their bitter disappointment.</p>
+
+<p>It is now Tuesday evening. We have just reached Naauwpoort, where we are
+spending the night. The Cape mail train has been detained here all day,
+the line ahead having been blown up, or some such thing, a train
+derailed and fired on, a Yeoman and several niggers killed, and other
+fellows injured. Brother Boer seems more in evidence down here than in
+any other place we have passed between Pretoria and this place.</p>
+
+  <p class="center pb_0 smcap">Imperial Yeomanry Hospital,</p>
+  <p class="right5 pt_0 smcap">Deelfontein.</p>
+
+<p>We arrived here on Thursday, February 21st. Between Naauwpoort and De
+Aar we passed the derailed train. Mr. Boer had done his work well&mdash;from
+his point of view. The engine (575) was lying on its side quite smashed,
+as were also several broken and splintered trucks, while a few graves
+completed the picture. But the line was intact once again. An officer of
+Engineers and some men were standing by their completed task as we
+slowly came up and passed the spot.</p>
+
+<p class="poem05">
+  Line Clear: o'er blood and sweat, and pain, and sorrow's road I ran,<br>
+  And every sleeper was a wound, and every rail a man.</p>
+
+<p>The first person I beheld from the carriage window on arriving here was
+one of our Sussex fellows. He seemed very pleased to see me, and I
+certainly was to see him. He has been here a week or more, and in that
+time had acquainted himself with the ropes. Having been given
+accommodation in the emergency tent for the night, he took me by divers
+ways to a bell tent in which I found two or <span class="pagenum"><a id="page170" name="page170"></a>(p. 170)</span> three men of
+Paget's Horse, acquaintances of the "Delphic" days, another Sussex man,
+and a large washing basin containing beer&mdash;obtained no matter how. Into
+the basin a broken cup and a tin mug were being constantly dipped. With
+this, cigarettes, and chatter, the evening passed very agreeably. Of
+course this is early to criticise the Hospital and its working, but the
+general impression of we ex-Arcadians is that the Pretoria shop is far
+superior.</p>
+
+<p>As regards reaching Cape Town, one cannot say much. A good many of our
+fellows have been sent back to Elandsfontein, which has been styled as
+"the home for lost Yeomanry." In the station, a few hundred yards off,
+is a fine khaki armoured train, with a pom-pom named "Edward VII."
+mounted on the centre truck.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec51" name="sec51"></a>
+<h3>R.A.M.C. Experiences and Impressions.</h3>
+
+<p class="right10 pb_0 smcap">Wynberg Hospital,</p>
+<p class="right5 pt_0 pb_0 smcap">Cape Colony.</p>
+<p class="pt_0 right"><i>Monday, February 25th, 1901.</i></p>
+
+<p>The above address may appear to you like a day's march nearer home, but
+it is more than likely nothing of the sort. Having once got the
+convalescent gentlemen in khaki down south as far as Cape Town, and
+raised the home yearning hearts of the aforementioned to an altitude
+beyond the loftiest peak of the Himalayas&mdash;the medical officers here
+return them as shuttlecocks from a battledore up country, and it's a
+case of "gentlemen in khaki ordered North."</p>
+
+<p>We arrived here this morning early, having left Deelfontein at daybreak
+yesterday (Sunday). Ambulance carts conveyed us to the Wynberg Hospital,
+where I now am.</p>
+
+<p>Tuesday, 26th. Wherever I go I seem to fall fairly well on my feet and
+meet old friends. In the next room (each ward is divided into rooms,
+these are barracks in time of peace) are two fellows who were in my tent
+at Pretoria; one was half-blinded by lightning. They are rattling good
+fellows. My bed chum, the man next to me, is a man of the Rifle Brigade,
+who has lost an eye, and, again, is a ripping fine chap. This is an
+R.A.M.C. show, and everything is regimental, dem'd regimental. We have
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page171" name="page171"></a>(p. 171)</span> the regulation barrack-room cots, which have to be limbered up
+and dressed with the familiar brown blankets and sheets in apple-pie or,
+rather, Swiss roll, order. Also, the locker has to be kept very neat and
+symmetrical. To drop a piece of paper in the room would be almost
+courting a court-martial. So, whenever I have a small piece of paper
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page172" name="page172"></a>(p. 172)</span> to throw away, I roam about like a criminal anxious to conceal
+a corpse, and am often nearly driven to chewing and swallowing it, after
+the well-known method of famous heroes and criminals.</p>
+
+<a id="img025" name="img025"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img025.jpg" width="500" height="651" alt="Tommy's Spittoon." title="">
+</div>
+
+<p>I have already referred to the confounded regimentality of this place.
+The very red cross on our virgin white R.A.M.C. banner is made of red
+tape, not bunting, I am positive. It almost goes without saying that we
+have to don, and never leave off, in the daytime, the cobalt blue
+uniform and huge red tie so dear to the controllers of these
+establishments. The blue trousers are terrible things, being lined with
+some thick material and kept up by a tape at the waist. A friend of mine
+in Paget's Horse will not have them called trousers, but always alludes
+to them as leg casings.</p>
+
+<p>I am not quite so particular about my food as formerly, but the Imperial
+Yeomanry Hospital at Pretoria must have spoiled me. Then, again, there
+was the Deelfontein one, so I must set aside my own opinion and give you
+that of others. The food (in our ward) is little and poor; being one
+pound of bread and an ounce of butter per day for men on <i>full</i> rations,
+accompanied at morn and eventide by a purply fluid called "tea." At
+mid-day a tin of tough meat with a potato or two is served up, for which
+we are truly thankful. Amen! As regards recreation we get plenty of
+that&mdash;airing bedding, scrubbing lockers and floors, cleaning windows,
+whitewashing, washing our plates and other tinware after our sumptuous
+repasts, general tidying up, having rows with the sergeant-major, and a
+myriad other little pastimes help to while the hours away. In full view
+of our ward is the slate-coloured gun carriage which is used for
+conveying the unfittest to their last long rest. It is kept outside of a
+barn-like building, and its contemplation affords us much food (extra
+ration) for reflection. It is often used.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec52" name="sec52"></a>
+<h3>The Mythical and Real Officer.<a id="footnotetag10" name="footnotetag10"></a><a href="#footnote10" title="Go to footnote 10"><span class="smaller">[10]</span></a></h3>
+
+<p>As I pause, and ponder what else I can tell you in this letter, it
+occurs to me that I have not yet told you of the one <span class="pagenum"><a id="page173" name="page173"></a>(p. 173)</span> great
+disillusion of this campaign for me and <i>all</i> other former civilians&mdash;I
+mean "The British Officer." The few remarks which I am now going to make
+are founded on the universal opinion of all the Regular soldiers and
+Colonial and home-bred Volunteers I have met out here. I have hesitated
+to give this verdict before, because it seemed like rank heresy or a
+kind of sacrilege; but having asked every man I have come across,
+especially the Regular soldier, his estimate of this person, and always
+receiving the same emphatic reply, I feel I can now make my few remarks
+without being regarded as too hasty or ill-informed.</p>
+
+<p>There are officers who are real good fellows, and of these I will tell
+presently; but there are others&mdash;<i>heaps of others</i>. These latter are
+selfish, and frequently incompetent beings, without the slightest
+consideration for their men, and with a terrible amount for their dear
+selves. Talk about their roughing it! Most of these individuals have the
+best of camp beds to rest on, servants to wait on them, good stuff to
+eat, and, more often than not, whisky, or brandy to drink. And, oh, my
+sisters, oh, my brothers, when <i>they</i> have to commence roughing it, it
+is hard indeed for poor Tommy. Many a tale have I heard of thirsty tired
+Tommies being refused their water cart in camp, as the officers required
+the water out of it for their baths.</p>
+
+<p>The beautiful stories, on the other hand, of the officer being troubled
+because his men were in bad case, and sharing the contents of his
+haversack or water bottle with a poor "done-up" Tommy, are generally
+pure fiction. To hear of Tommy sharing with a chum or a stranger is
+common enough. Out here one learns to appreciate the ranker more, and
+the commissioned man less. And when one comes across a good officer, how
+he is appreciated! Often when I have asked a regular what sort of
+officers he had, and received the invariable emphatic reply, he has
+stopped, and in quite a different voice, with a smile on his face, said,
+"But there was Mr. &mdash;&mdash;; now he was a <i>real</i> gentleman." And then he has
+waxed eloquent in this popular officer's praises, relating how "he used
+to be like one of ourselves," insisted on taking his relief at digging
+trenches, came and chatted to them round their fires at night, and in
+scores of ways endeared himself to their hearts.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page174" name="page174"></a>(p. 174)</span> My Rifle friend has just been telling me of such an officer, a
+young one they had, named Wilson (how he eulogised Mr. Wilson! "He was a
+good 'un, he was. A <i>real</i> gentleman"). He died, poor fellow, up
+Lydenburg way. Then he told me of another, a Mr. Baker-Carr; of him he
+said, "And there isn't a man of us to-day who, if he was in danger,
+wouldn't die for him."</p>
+
+<p>As for the opinion of the Colonials of our officers, you surely know
+that. This little anecdote expresses pretty well how they stand one with
+the other:</p>
+
+<div class="quote">
+     <p class="center smcap">Scene&mdash;Pretoria.</p>
+
+     <p>New Zealander, just in from trek, passing, pipe in mouth, by a
+     young officer just out.</p>
+
+     <p><i>Officer</i> (stopping New Zealander): "Do you know who I am?"</p>
+
+     <p><i>N.Z.</i> (removing pipe): "No."</p>
+
+     <p><i>Officer</i>: "I am an officer!"</p>
+
+     <p><i>N.Z.</i>: "Oh."</p>
+
+     <p><i>Officer</i>: "I&mdash;am&mdash;an&mdash;officer!"</p>
+
+     <p><i>N.Z.</i>: "Well, take an old soldier's advice and don't get drunk
+     and lose your commission."</p>
+
+     <p><i>Officer</i>: "D&mdash;&mdash; you. Don't you salute an officer when you see
+     one?"</p>
+
+     <p><i>N.Z.</i> (very calmly): "D&mdash;&mdash; and dot you! It's seldom we salute
+     our own officers, so it isn't likely we'd salute you."</p>
+
+     <p><i>Officer</i>: "Confound it. If you couldn't stand discipline, what
+     did you come out here for?"</p>
+
+     <p><i>N.Z.</i>: "To fight."</p>
+
+     <p><i>Officer</i> (moving on): "I suppose you are one of those damned
+     Colonials."<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+</div>
+
+<a id="sec53" name="sec53"></a>
+<h3>The R.A.M.C. Sergeant-Major, and other annoyances.</h3>
+
+<p>That very great, august and omnipotent being, the Sergeant-Major of this
+establishment, has just been round. His motto is, I fancy, "<i>Veni, vidi,
+vici</i>." To him nothing is ever perfect, save himself. He entered,
+"Shun!" and we stood at attention by our cots. A trembling sergeant and
+orderly followed in his train. Upon us, one by one, he <span class="pagenum"><a id="page175" name="page175"></a>(p. 175)</span>
+pounced, this "brave, silent (?) man" at the back. My blue fal-de-lal
+jacket he unbuttoned and revealed, horror of horrors, very crime of
+crimes, the fact that I was not wearing the monstrous red scarf which,
+according to the laws of the R.A.M.C., which alter not, must always be
+worn by all patients at all times, in life, or even in death, I presume.
+And further, a most perspiring bare chest revealed the heinous fact that
+I had omitted to put on the <i>thick</i> flannel shirt which has to be worn
+under the coarse white cotton one. Why wasn't I wearing this article? I
+explained that I was too hot already. That did not matter a Continental.
+Where was it? I produced it from under a bed near by and managed to
+avoid putting it on in his presence, as that would have still further
+revealed that I was wearing a belt containing money, which is contrary
+to Rule No. something or other, in which it is emphatically laid down
+that all jewels, money, and valuables are to be given in to the
+staff-sergeant in charge of the pack store, who will give a receipt for
+the same, &amp;c., and so forth. Verily the backbone of the Army is the
+non-commissioned man, but I must confess to frequently wishing to break,
+or at least dislocate, that backbone.</p>
+
+<p>The mosquitoes here seem rather more troublesome than their Pretoria
+relatives. There are twenty men in the next room, and only three of us
+here; and we three get a frightful lot of attention from these
+<i>skeeturs</i>. They seem vicious as well as hungry. We fancy this is to be
+explained by the fact that they had been marked down from up country for
+the base and England, and are enraged at being kept here with the
+prospect of being returned whence they came; their hunger in this
+R.A.M.C. Hospital we can understand, and would sympathise with more if
+they did not treat us as rations. Other patients have a theory that they
+are the lost and much damned spirits of R.A.M.C. officers,
+non-commissioned officers, and men, who have gone before and come back
+to their old earthly billet. But of course these are all mere surmises,
+and hardly to be regarded seriously. On Thursday I am to be sent to
+Rondebosch, Tommy's oft and ever-repeated cry, "Roll on, dear old
+Blighty" (England), seems vainer than ever as time spins out its endless
+cocoon.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec54" name="sec54"></a>
+<h3><span class="pagenum"><a id="page176" name="page176"></a>(p. 176)</span> At the Base.</h3>
+
+  <p class="right10 pb_0 smcap">McKenzie's Farm,</p>
+<p class="right5 pt_0 pb_0"><span class="smcap">Maitland</span> (once again).</p>
+<p class="right pt_0"><i>Sunday, March 3rd, 1901.</i></p>
+
+<p>Of late my addresses have been many and varied. The above is the latest.
+I have filtered through into Maitland, which has changed considerably
+since last April. On Thursday last I left Wynberg for the convalescent
+camp at Rondebosch without any regret, for, as a matter of fact, I was
+getting hungry. On the afternoon of that day I found myself one of a
+very unselect-looking band of khaki men, parading before the terrible
+R.A.M.C. Sergt.-Major of the Wynberg Hospital.</p>
+
+<p>Just before parading, I saw the gun carriage, alluded to in my last,
+being used; going past our ward, in slow time, with reversed arms, went
+the perspiring and, let us hope not, but I fear 'twas so, the angry
+Tommies told off as the escort. Then came the gun carriage with its
+flag-covered burden. Only another enteric, only another broken heart or
+so at home, another vacant chair to look at and sigh, and the small but
+strictly regimental and unsympathetic procession had passed; and the
+half-interrupted conversation in the ward went gaily on. Having paraded
+and answered to our names, a doctor strolled down the ranks questioning
+us, "Are you all right?" All those who answered said "Yes." The question
+was supposed to be put individually, but by the time he got to where I
+was, the worthy man was slurring over about three or four at a time. I
+didn't trouble to reply, it being obviously unnecessary. About
+half-an-hour later, the ambulance carts came up, which were to bear us
+to Rondebosch, and we were ordered to carry our kits down and get in. So
+the halt and the broken picked up their kits&mdash;some of them were very
+heavy&mdash;and staggered with them to the carts, a distance of about fifty
+yards.</p>
+
+<p>In particular, I noticed one poor fellow, a gunner of the 37th Battery,
+R.F.A. A water cart had gone over him at Mafeking, and fractured three
+ribs and affected his spine. The poor, emaciated, bent figure of what
+had once been a <span class="pagenum"><a id="page177" name="page177"></a>(p. 177)</span> smart soldier lifted a rather heavy kit and
+tottered towards the carts. I felt disgusted at seeing such unnecessary
+labour thrust on a man, who never should have left the hospital save to
+go home. But he had been turned out by the powers which be, and&mdash;I was
+going to say shouldn't, but the R.A.M.C. are all honourable men&mdash;when I
+saw a sprightly, well-fed R.A.M.C. Lance-Corporal walking smartly after
+him, and in a relieved voice I remarked to the man on my left: "The
+Corporal is going to carry it for him," to which my neighbour remarked:
+"He can't, he's got a stripe." And, begad, he didn't! He passed him,
+apparently not having noticed him. I shall have a little more to tell
+you of the gunner presently.</p>
+
+<p>The drive to Rondebosch, through Wynberg, Kenilworth and Claremont, was
+lovely beyond words. I had a box seat, and as we drove through the
+avenues of trees, down the roads, with the gardens of the
+comfortable-looking bungalows a mass of green foliage and tropical
+blooms on either side of us, I felt like a gaol-bird escaped from his
+cage. You may laugh at me if you like, but there I sat with dilating
+nostrils and eyes, absorbing all I could. Often we passed English girls
+in white costumes, and pretty, clean-looking children. It was a real
+treat. Of course, they took no notice of us. We were a common and not
+altogether pleasing looking lot, many among us being</p>
+
+<p class="poemctr">"Poor fighting men, broke in her wars."</p>
+
+<p>At last the pleasant drive came to its end, and we entered the
+Rondebosch camp. I was told off with 25 others to a hut, drew bedding
+and blankets&mdash;which included bugs&mdash;had some tea at a coffee bar, looked
+about, and turned in for the night. Alas! that night and others.
+Rondebosch boasts of a dry canteen and <i>another</i>, where Tommy can obtain
+beer, oftentimes called "Glorious Beer," even as we allude to "Glorious
+War." Over the sale of this to men, fresh from the hospitals recovering
+from enteric, wounds, and so forth, there is no restriction. The result
+needs no imagination&mdash;copious libations, songs, rows, and vomitings.</p>
+
+<p>The next day I was put on as Orderly Sergeant. Now, if I was
+Sergeant-Major and had among my subordinate "non-coms." a man I wished
+to get into trouble, I should <span class="pagenum"><a id="page178" name="page178"></a>(p. 178)</span> make him an Orderly Sergeant at
+Rondebosch. About every half-hour the bugles went "Orderly Sergeants,"
+and up I doubled. In all, I attended about a score of these summonses,
+and even then omitted to report a man who had been absent since
+<i>reveillé</i>.</p>
+
+<p>This last sin of omission came about in this way. I was anxious to turn
+in early and get a little sleep if possible, but could not do so, as I
+had to report "all present and correct" at tattoo. Anyhow, I strolled
+down to our hut at nine o'clock and found that the poor gunner alluded
+to already was in great pain, writhing about and groaning horribly. One
+of his chums who was with him told me he could not find a doctor, and
+the chaplain, who had looked in, had said that he could not get him even
+a drop of hot water.</p>
+
+<p>The poor fellow was really bad, and thought he was going out, and I
+should not have been surprised if he had. Soon a few more chums came in,
+somewhat beery, and commenced to buck him up. The great method
+apparently on such occasions is to grip the sufferer's hand very
+tightly, pull him about a good deal, punch him now and again, and tell
+him to bear up. "Stick it, mate! * * * it, you ain't going to * * * well
+die! Stick it, mate!" And there he lay, with his pals, fresh from the
+canteen, exhorting him to stick it, a poor broken Reserve man, with a
+wife and children across the seas. At last I went and, after no little
+bother, discovered an R.A.M.C. Sergeant, who found his Sergeant-Major,
+and the two came with me to our hut. The result was a mustard leaf,
+which was sent down to me to place on the sufferer. With this on the
+left side of his stomach, bugs biting, mosquitoes worrying, and comrades
+lurching in, singing and rowing, and beds collapsing, the night passed.
+The next day the doctor saw him, and he was returned to Wynberg.<a id="footnotetag11" name="footnotetag11"></a><a href="#footnote11" title="Go to footnote 11"><span class="smaller">[11]</span></a></p>
+
+<p>In the afternoon we paraded and came on here. In the evening I slipped
+off to Cape Town and met a friend, with whom I dined at the "Grand."
+Having a decent dinner and amongst decently dressed people made me feel
+quite a Christian, though as a matter of fact, most of the diners
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page179" name="page179"></a>(p. 179)</span> appeared to be Jews. The sheenie man refugee is still very
+much in evidence, and though he sells things at ruinous prices (for
+himself, he says) seems to do well.</p>
+
+<p>Tuesday, March 6th. After being kept outside the doctor's bureau from 9
+till 12.30, the great man, the controller of fates, the donor of
+tickets, the Maitland medicine man, has seen me, and, whatever he has
+done, has not marked me for home.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec55" name="sec55"></a>
+<h3>Another Album!!</h3>
+
+<p class="right10"><i>March 9th.</i></p>
+
+<p>To weary you with a further continuation of the experiences of a forlorn
+Yeoman, who, having drifted from Pretoria, now finds himself on the
+sands of Maitland, with a distant and tantalising view of the sea and
+its ships, seems an unworthy thing to do. But, alas! I have acquired a
+terrible habit of letter-writing. News or no news, given the
+opportunity, I religiously once a week contribute to the English mail
+bag; so here goes for a really short letter.</p>
+
+<p>On Thursday, having endured as much toothache as I deemed expedient
+without complaint, and goaded on by a sleepless night, I paraded before
+the doctor, and having borne with him moderately and half satisfied his
+credulity, obtained from him a note to a Cape Town dentist for the
+following day. I am now in that being's hands, he has considerately
+assured me that no man is a hero to his own dentist.</p>
+
+<p>In Cape Town there are two topics&mdash;the town guard and the plague, known
+as bubonic; owing to the latter, great is the stink of disinfectants.</p>
+
+<p>I have already made allusions to the "Sisters' Albums" and the
+contributions which they levied. Here at McKenzie's Farm, I have struck
+another style of book. This is run by Sergeant-Major Fownes (10th
+Hussars) who is in charge of all of the Yeomanry at the base. It is a
+"Confession Book," containing reasons "Why I joined the Imperial
+Yeomanry" and "Why I left." It has been contributed to by members of
+nearly every I.Y. squadron in South Africa. Thanks to the courtesy of
+its owner, I am able to give you a selection from its contents, omitting
+the names and squadrons of the contributors only.<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec56" name="sec56"></a>
+<table  border="0" cellpadding="5" summary="Reasons.">
+<colgroup>
+    <col width="5%">
+    <col width="45%">
+    <col width="5%">
+    <col width="45%">
+</colgroup>
+
+<tr>
+<td class="center" colspan="2"><span class="pagenum"><a id="page180" name="page180"></a>(p. 180)</span> WHY I JOINED THE YEOMANRY.</td>
+<td class="center" colspan="2"><span class="pagenum"><a id="page181" name="page181"></a>(p. 181)</span> WHY I LEFT.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr><td colspan="4">&nbsp;</td></tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">1.</td>
+<td>To escape my creditors.</td>
+<td class="right">1.</td>
+<td>The old man stumped up and I am in no danger of
+receiving a blue paper.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">2.</td>
+<td>Patriotism.</td>
+<td class="right">2.</td>
+<td>Captured at Lindley. Too much mealie porridge and rice.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">3.</td>
+<td>Because I was sick of England.</td>
+<td class="right">3.</td>
+<td>Because I have changed my mind.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">4.</td>
+<td>Could always ride, could always shoot,<br>
+  Thought of duty, thought of loot.</td>
+<td class="right">4.</td>
+<td>Gammy leg, couldn't ride,<br>
+  Sent to Cape Town, had to slide.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right" rowspan="3">5.</td>
+<td rowspan="3">"England Expects &mdash;&mdash;" (you know the rest).</td>
+<td class="right" rowspan="3">5.</td>
+<td>"Go not too often into thy neighbour's house, lest he be
+  weary of thee!"</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+  <td class="center smcap">Hospitals.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="center">1. Imperial Yeomanry Field. 2. Johannesburg Civil. 3. No. 6 General.
+  4. No. 9 General. 5. No. 8 General. 6. Deelfontein. 7. Maitland.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">6.</td>
+<td>To injure the Boers.</td>
+<td class="right">6.</td>
+<td>Because they injured me.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">7.</td>
+<td>(All Excuses used up.)</td>
+<td class="right">7.</td>
+<td>Love of my native land (England).</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">8.</td>
+<td>I considered it was the right thing for an Englishman
+  to do.</td>
+<td class="right">8.</td>
+<td>I did not get enough fighting, but too much messing
+  about.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">9.</td>
+<td>Because I thought it was my duty.</td>
+<td class="right">9.</td>
+<td>"<span class="smcap">Fed Up</span>!!!"</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">10.</td>
+<td>A broken heart.</td>
+<td class="right">10.</td>
+<td>A broken leg (more serious and imperative).</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">11.</td>
+<td>Anxiety to get to South Africa.</td>
+<td class="right">11.</td>
+<td>Anxiety to get away from it.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">12.</td>
+<td>For the sake of a little excitement, which I can't get at
+  home and didn't get out here.</td>
+<td class="right">12.</td>
+<td>Joined B.P.'s Police Force to still search for the
+  impossible.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">13.</td>
+<td>Patriotic Fever!!!</td>
+<td class="right">13.</td>
+<td>Enteric Fever!!!</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">14.</td>
+<td>I did it during the Patriotic Mania, 1899-1900. Under
+  like circumstances believe I'd do it again.</td>
+<td class="right">14.</td>
+<td>Ill health.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">15.</td>
+<td>Sudden splash of Patriotism upon visiting a Music Hall.</td>
+<td class="right">15.</td>
+<td>Bathing one day, found varicose veins much to my
+  delight. Invalided.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">16.</td>
+<td>Poetry.</td>
+<td class="right">16.</td>
+<td>Prose.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">17.</td>
+<td>"Married in haste."</td>
+<td class="right">17.</td>
+<td>"Repented at leisure."</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">18.</td>
+<td>Because I did not bring my aged and respected father
+  up properly.</td>
+<td class="right">18.</td>
+<td>To see if he has improved.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">19.</td>
+<td>To kill Time and Boers.</td>
+<td class="right">19.</td>
+<td>Because Time and Boers wait for no man.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">20.</td>
+<td>Because I am Irish and wanted to fight.</td>
+<td class="right">20.</td>
+<td>Because I want to do more fighting and am joining the
+  S.A.C.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">21.</td>
+<td>Love of War.</td>
+<td class="right">21.</td>
+<td>Love of Peace.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">22.</td>
+<td>For Sport.</td>
+<td class="right">22.</td>
+<td>Time for close season.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">23.</td>
+<td>My Country's call my ardour fired.</td>
+<td class="right">23.</td>
+<td>The "Crisis" o'er, I've now retired.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right"><span class="pagenum"><a id="page182" name="page182"></a>(p. 182)</span> 24.</td>
+<td>Because I was tired of the Old Country.</td>
+<td class="right"><span class="pagenum"><a id="page183" name="page183"></a>(p. 183)</span> 24.</td>
+<td>Because I was sick of the New.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right" rowspan="2">25.</td>
+<td rowspan="2">Old England's Honour, Glory, Fame,<br>
+      Such thoughts were in my mind.<br>
+      To die the last but not disgraced,<br>
+      A V.C. perhaps to find.<br>
+      To sound the charge, to meet the foe,<br>
+      To win or wounded lie,<br>
+      My firstborn son and I should fight<br>
+      And, if the needs be, die.</td>
+<td class="right" rowspan="2">25.</td>
+<td>Alas, no Glory have I earned,<br>
+  No Trumpet's Requiem found,<br>
+  Altho' I've laid upon the veldt,<br>
+  With scanty comfort round.<br>
+  My son has seen more fights than I,<br>
+  Tho' he is scarce fifteen,<br>
+  Whilst I must sound my trumpet at<br>
+  The Yeoman's Base-fontein.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right smaller"><span class="smcap">Sergt.-Trumpeter</span> (McKenzie's Farm).</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">26.</td>
+<td>Hungry for a fight.</td>
+<td class="right">26.</td>
+<td>Appetite appeased.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">27.</td>
+<td>Drink and Drink.</td>
+<td class="right">27.</td>
+<td>Drink and Drink.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">28.</td>
+<td>Vanity.</td>
+<td class="right">28.</td>
+<td>Vexation of Spirit.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">29.</td>
+<td>Because I thought:<br>
+<ul class="decimal">
+<li>'Twas a glorious life on the veldt,
+    So unrestrained and free. (<i>Note. Read opposite page.</i>)</li>
+<li>'Twas grand to lie 'neath the star-lit sky
+    In a blanket warm and nice.</li>
+<li>'Twas exciting to gallop over the plains
+    To the music of the Mausers.</li>
+<li>Bully beef and biscuits are all very well,
+    And so, for a time, is jam.</li>
+</ul></td>
+<td class="right">29.</td>
+<td>But I found:<br>
+<ul class="decimal">
+<li>That after twelve months of the same I felt
+    It was not the life for me.</li>
+<li>That when you wanted to go to sleep,
+    You're scratching and hunting for l&mdash;ce.</li>
+<li>That 'twas very unpleasant to ride all day
+    When you'd lost the seat of your trousers.</li>
+<li>That to get nothing else for more than six months,
+    Would make any fellow say "D&mdash;&mdash;!"</li>
+</ul></td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">30.</td>
+<td>To have a lively time.</td>
+<td class="right">30.</td>
+<td>What with Mausers by day and crawlers by night. I
+  had it.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">31.</td>
+<td>Wanted to see a little of South Africa.</td>
+<td class="right">31.</td>
+<td>Have seen enough.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">32.</td>
+<td>Came out on Chance.</td>
+<td class="right">32.</td>
+<td>Going home to a Certainty.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">33.</td>
+<td>To escape the Police at home.</td>
+<td class="right">33.</td>
+<td>Same reason here.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">34.</td>
+<td>Had always preached Patriotism and thought it was the
+  time to put theory into practice.</td>
+<td class="right">34.</td>
+<td>The Patriotic Fever has run its natural course.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">35.</td>
+<td>Because I had nothing to do at home<br>
+      Bar drinking whiskies and sodas alone,<br>
+      And shooting pheasants which is beastly slow,<br>
+      So I thought I'd give the Bo-ahs a show.</td>
+<td class="right">35.</td>
+<td>Because the Bo-ahs shot me instead,<br>
+      And the papers (confound them) reported me "dead,"<br>
+      That sort of game is rather too bad,<br>
+      So the prodigal now returns to his dad.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">36.</td>
+<td>Thought I would get the V.C.</td>
+<td class="right">36.</td>
+<td>Got C.B. instead!</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">37.</td>
+<td>A soldier's son and a volunteer<br>
+      Heaps of glory, bags of beer.</td>
+<td class="right">37.</td>
+<td>Bags of biscuits hard as rocks,<br>
+      Smashed my teeth and gave me sox!</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">38.</td>
+<td>To become acquainted with Colonials before settling.</td>
+<td class="right">38.</td>
+<td>To join the Bodyguard for same reason and&mdash;<i>better pay</i>.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">39.</td>
+<td>For adventure.</td>
+<td class="right">39.</td>
+<td>To go back to a hum-drum life, which is better than a
+  Dum-Dum death.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="right">40.</td>
+<td>Northumbria's reply, "Duty."</td>
+<td class="right">40.</td>
+<td>Novelty somewhat worn off, and military discipline not
+  being at all adapted to my temperament.</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page184" name="page184"></a>(p. 184)</span> In a few days all the men marked for home will be leaving, and
+to those they will be leaving behind them the yearning to be on the sea
+once again, seems stronger than ever,</p>
+
+<p class="poem05">
+  "Can you hear the crash on her bows, dear lass,<br>
+<span class="add05em">And the drum of the racing screw.</span><br>
+<span class="add05em">As she ships it green on the old trail, our own trail, the home trail,</span><br>
+<span class="add05em">As she lifts and 'scends on the long trail&mdash;the trail that is always new?"</span><a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<a id="sec57" name="sec57"></a>
+<h3>Home.</h3>
+
+<p class="right10 pb_0 smcap">England-Fontein</p>
+<p class="right pt_0"><i>April 22nd, 1901.</i></p>
+
+<p class="poem30">
+  "We're goin' 'ome, we're goin' 'ome,<br>
+<span class="add1em">Our ship is at the shore,</span><br>
+  An' you must pack your 'aversack,<br>
+<span class="add1em"><i>For we won't come back no more</i>."</span></p>
+
+<p>So from going up to Elandsfontein, which is by Johannesburg, it came to
+the above cheerful sentiment. And this is how it happened. An order came
+from somewhere to our doctor, who had of late so hardened his heart, to
+"invalid convalescents freely," and, to be brief, within a few days
+nearly every man at Maitland was marked for home, wore a smiling face,
+and drew warm clothes for the voyage.</p>
+
+<p>The next burning questions were "What boat will it be and when does she
+sail?" Needless to say, these interrogatories were answered at least
+thrice a day, and were always wide of the mark. Still, we were booked
+for home, and could afford to wait cheerfully. Our hut (No. 1),
+inhabited by the thirty best men in the camp (any man of that hut will
+tell you this assertion is correct), thereupon blossomed forth as the
+publishing and editorial offices of a camp newspaper known as the</p>
+
+<p class="center smcap">"Latest Developments Gazette,"<br>
+<span class="small">with which is incorporated</span><br>
+<span class="smaller">"The Cookhouse News."</span></p>
+
+<p>In this journal shipping intelligence was a speciality, and topical
+cartoons a great feature. We claimed the largest circulation in the
+camp. The various articles, stop-press news, and cartoons, were stuck on
+the walls of the hut and afforded <span class="pagenum"><a id="page185" name="page185"></a>(p. 185)</span> much entertainment. Of
+course, B.P. was very unpopular in Cape Town and with us, and had to be
+dealt with severely. (Note.&mdash;Not the Mafeking man or the "worth a guinea
+a box" lot, but the Bubonic Plague).</p>
+
+<p>A few days before sailing I caught sight of a well-known name in the
+dread casualty list: "69th Co. I.Y., 16,424, Trooper R. Blake, (severely
+wounded, since dead). Hartebeestefontein." "Poor Blake!" He used to sing
+at our concerts on the boat coming out, at our bivouac fire when we
+indulged in an impromptu sing-song, and at Pretoria, when in the police,
+he often appeared at the various musical entertainments held in the town
+or hospitals. His mimicry of a growling or barking dog, big or small,
+was marvellous and notorious. I remember once how a fellow on one
+occasion, accustomed to Master Blake's games, on hearing a persistent
+yapping at his heels, at length said "Oh, shut up, young Blake!" and
+turned round to see a live terrier there. A verse in the last issue of
+our paper, expressed, in a humble way, every man's feelings on such
+matters.</p>
+
+<p class="poem30">
+  We are leaving them behind us,<br>
+<span class="add1em">'Neath the veldt and by the town,</span><br>
+  The men who joined and fought with us,<br>
+<span class="add1em">Who shared each up and down.</span><br>
+  We are going home without them,<br>
+<span class="add1em">But our thoughts will on them dwell,</span><br>
+  We shall often talk about them,<br>
+<span class="add1em">Good comrades all, farewell!</span></p>
+
+<p>The day before we left, the sketches and other matter were sold by
+auction, it having been previously decided to devote the proceeds of the
+sale to the last No. 1 Hut annual ball. By way of explanation, it must
+be noted that the hut had an annual ball <i>once a week</i>, "dancing
+strictly prohibited." To be explicit, the annual ball was a weekly
+dinner. The auction was a great success, a real auctioneer presiding,
+well over £10 being realised.</p>
+
+<p>The farewell dinner was a grand affair and very convivial. To my
+surprise I was presented with a handsome silver cigarette case by the
+so-called staff of the "L.D. News" as a token of good will and their
+appreciation of my humble efforts to relieve the monotony of camp life.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page186" name="page186"></a>(p. 186)</span> The next day, Friday, March 29th, we embarked on the transport
+"Aurania," and, as the sun was setting, bade a sarcastic good-bye to
+Table Mountain.</p>
+
+<p>As regards the voyage home, which was accomplished in three weeks, much
+might be said, but probably little of particular interest. A transport
+is not a very luxurious affair for the common soldier, though the
+accommodation for the officers amply atones for what may be lacking for
+the ninety-and-nine, as it were. But what on earth, or sea, did it
+matter, we were going home.</p>
+
+<p>Good Friday was not a success, an officer committed suicide, a sergeant
+in the Royal Sussex died of dysentery, the engines broke down, and we
+had no buns. At St. Vincent we stopped two-and-a-half days to coal, and
+flew the yellow flag at the fore, being in quarantine on account of the
+Bubonic outbreak at Cape Town. In the Bay of Biscay a Yeoman comrade
+died of enteric, and was buried two days from home. Friday, the 18th, on
+a lovely spring morning, the sea being as smooth as glass, we sighted
+the cliffs of England once again.</p>
+
+<p class="poemctr">"England, my England."</p>
+
+<p>Then we commenced passing shipping; a man at the tiller of a Cornish
+fishing boat waving his cap to us made it clear that we were getting
+back to our real ain folk once more. At eight in the evening we were
+lying off Netley Hospital, and taking in the proffered advice of a large
+board in a field by the waterside to eat Quaker Oats, and by twelve
+o'clock the following night I was home once again.</p>
+
+<p>The treking, the fighting, the guards and pickets, the hospitals are
+done with now. My small part in the game has been played, and, with a
+slight and permissible alteration, the concluding lines of a favourite
+poem must end these simple records.</p>
+
+<p class="poem05">
+  "But to-day I leave the Army, shall I curse its service then?<br>
+  God be thanked, whate'er comes after, I have lived and toiled with men!"<a href="#toc"><span class="small">[Back to Contents]</span></a></p>
+
+<p class="p4 center">&nbsp;<br>
+BURFIELD &amp; PENNELLS, PRINTERS, HASTINGS.</p>
+
+
+<p class="p4"><a id="footnote1" name="footnote1"></a>
+<b>Footnote 1:</b> Otherwise known as the "Hatherly Distillery," owned by a
+chameleon millionaire German-Jew, named Sammy Marks. Oh, that fine old
+Scotch whisky! The labels announcing this un-fact are, I understand,
+obtained from the Old Country and gummed on the bottles at Hatherly.<a href="#footnotetag1"><span class="small">[Back to Main Text]</span></a></p>
+
+<p><a id="footnote2" name="footnote2"></a>
+<b>Footnote 2:</b> That we played a small part in the extensive operations,
+culminating in what is known as the Battle of Diamond Hill, was only
+known to most of us four or five months later.<a href="#footnotetag2"><span class="small">[Back to Main Text]</span></a></p>
+
+<p><a id="footnote3" name="footnote3"></a>
+<b>Footnote 3:</b> From the first the mixture of cavalry and infantry terms
+used in connection with the I.Y. has been most amusing. As our officers
+from this date invariably referred to us in cavalry terms, the words
+"squadron," "troop," etc., will be used to the end of the volume.<a href="#footnotetag3"><span class="small">[Back to Main Text]</span></a></p>
+
+<p><a id="footnote4" name="footnote4"></a>
+<b>Footnote 4:</b> This fine squadron of Yeomanry, under Captain Hodge, had
+also joined Mahon, at Pretoria, on July 16th.<a href="#footnotetag4"><span class="small">[Back to Main Text]</span></a></p>
+
+<p><a id="footnote5" name="footnote5"></a>
+<b>Footnote 5:</b> The hundred-and-fifty rounds of ammunition which always
+have to be carried by Thomas Atkins.<a href="#footnotetag5"><span class="small">[Back to Main Text]</span></a></p>
+
+<p><a id="footnote6" name="footnote6"></a>
+<b>Footnote 6:</b> It was this Vlakfontein which was destined to become
+notorious in the later history of the war. On the 29th of last May
+(1901), the 7th Battalion I.Y. lost heavily in a desperate fight at this
+place. Of the many gallant officers and men killed, all the members of
+the Battalion, past and present, must specially deplore the death of
+Surgeon-Captain Welford, one of the kindest and most self-sacrificing of
+men. Also Captain Armstrong, who joined the Battalion from Strathcona's
+Horse, as lieutenant, in November last. Lieutenant Pullar, writing to me
+in reference to the above, recently remarked: "It is the same
+Vlakfontein where the poor 7th Battalion lost so heavily in May, and I
+fear there must be many other graves there now."<a href="#footnotetag6"><span class="small">[Back to Main Text]</span></a></p>
+
+<p><a id="footnote7" name="footnote7"></a>
+<b>Footnote 7:</b> For his share in this gallant deed, Ingram was promoted by
+the C.-in-C. to Corporal. Several of the Devons and Fifes were
+subsequently mentioned in despatches. Sergeant Pullar was persuaded to
+accept a commission, as also were Sergeant-Majors Gordon and Cave. All
+three being excellent soldiers and popular with the men. A Yeoman told
+me lately, "It was simply splendid the cool way in which Colonel Browne
+and Sir Elliot Lees superintended the waggons being moved from camp."<a href="#footnotetag7"><span class="small">[Back to Main Text]</span></a></p>
+
+<p><a id="footnote8" name="footnote8"></a>
+<b>Footnote 8:</b> The subsequent adventures of the battalion under General
+Cunningham and later Dixon and Benson I am, of course, unable to
+record.<a href="#footnotetag8"><span class="small">[Back to Main Text]</span></a></p>
+
+<p><a id="footnote9" name="footnote9"></a>
+<b>Footnote 9:</b> Since my return I have heard from "Scotty," as we used to
+call him. He wrote from his home in New Zealand, his right arm had been
+successfully amputated, and he was getting accustomed to its loss.<a href="#footnotetag9"><span class="small">[Back to Main Text]</span></a></p>
+
+<p><a id="footnote10" name="footnote10"></a>
+<b>Footnote 10:</b> An officer, for whom I have the highest esteem, whilst
+kindly conveying to me his very favourable opinion of these "Letters,"
+regretted the inclusion of the following "grouse" in these words: "When
+I think of many cheery, dirty, ragged, half-starved youngsters I met out
+there, weighted into an unaccustomed responsibility for men's lives and
+the safety of their columns, and no more their own masters than you
+were, bravely trying to do a duty which many of them really loathed, I
+feel it is hard that a minority of 'rotters' should blacken the good
+name of the majority."<a href="#footnotetag10"><span class="small">[Back to Main Text]</span></a></p>
+
+<p><a id="footnote11" name="footnote11"></a>
+<b>Footnote 11:</b> I met him again looking much better and in the best of
+spirits on the <i>Aurania</i>, being invalided home.<a href="#footnotetag11"><span class="small">[Back to Main Text]</span></a></p>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<hr class="full" noshade>
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@@ -0,0 +1,7433 @@
+The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Yeoman's Letters, by P. T. Ross,
+Illustrated by P. T. Ross
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: A Yeoman's Letters
+       Third Edition
+
+
+Author: P. T. Ross
+
+
+
+Release Date: January 10, 2009  [eBook #27765]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A YEOMAN'S LETTERS***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, Christine P. Travers, and the Project
+Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (https://www.pgdp.net)
+
+
+
+Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this
+      file which includes the original illustrations.
+      See 27765-h.htm or 27765-h.zip:
+      (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/7/7/6/27765/27765-h/27765-h.htm)
+      or
+      (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/7/7/6/27765/27765-h.zip)
+
+
+Transcriber's note:
+
+      Obvious printer's errors have been corrected. All other
+      inconsistencies are as in the original. The author's
+      spelling has been retained.
+
+      Text enclosed by equal signs was in bold face in the
+      original (=bold=).
+
+      The original book did not have a Table of Contents, and
+      one has been created for the convenience of the reader.
+
+
+
+
+
+A YEOMAN'S LETTERS
+
+by
+
+P. T. ROSS
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+SOME PRESS OPINIONS.
+
+
+=_DAILY TELEGRAPH._=--'... Nothing better of this kind has yet appeared
+than "A Yeoman's Letters," by P. T. Ross.... Bright, breezy, and vivid
+are the stories of his adventures.... Corporal Ross not only writes
+lively prose, but really capital verse. His "Ballad of the Bayonet" is
+particularly smart. He is also a clever draughtsman, and his rough but
+effective caricatures form not the least attractive feature of a very
+pleasant book.'
+
+
+=_STANDARD._=--'In "A Yeoman's Letters," Mr. P. T. Ross has written the
+liveliest book about the War which has yet appeared. Whatever amusement
+can be extracted from a tragic theme will be found in his vivacious
+"Letters." He seems one of those high-spirited and versatile young men
+who notice the humorous side of everything, and can add to the jollity
+of a company by a story, a song, an "impromptu" poem, or a pencilled
+caricature.'
+
+
+=_SCOTSMAN._=--'The war literature now includes books of all sorts; but
+there is nothing in it more racy or readable than this collection of
+letters, what may be called familiar letters to the general public....
+In spite of its subject, there is more fun than anything else in the
+book.... But a deeper interest is not lacking to the book, either in its
+animated descriptions of serious affairs or in the substantial gravity
+which a discerning reader will see between the lines of voluble and
+entertaining talk.'
+
+
+=_CHRONICLE.=_--'Our Yeoman is a droll fellow, a facetious dog, whether
+with pen or sketching pencil, and we laughed heartily at many of his
+japes and roughly-drawn sketches.'
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+[Illustration: CORPL. P. T. ROSS.]
+
+
+A YEOMAN'S LETTERS
+
+by
+
+P. T. ROSS
+
+(_Late Corporal 69th Sussex Company I.Y._)
+
+Illustrated by the Author.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                     "And you, good Yeomen,
+  Whose limbs were made in England, show us here
+  The mettle of your pasture; let us swear
+  That you are worth your breeding; which I doubt not."
+
+                                          _Shakespeare._
+
+
+
+Third Edition.
+
+London:
+Simpkin, Marshall, Hamilton,
+Kent & Co., Limited.
+1901.
+
+Printed by Burfield & Pennells,
+Hastings.
+
+
+
+
+TABLE OF CONTENTS
+
+   FOREWORD.
+      The Sussex Yeomanry.
+
+   PART 1.
+      On the Trek.
+
+   WITH ROBERTS.
+      The Occupation of Johannesburg.
+      Pretoria Taken.
+      Diamond Hill and After.
+      Back to Pretoria.
+      Entertaining a Guest.
+      The Mails Arrive.
+      The Nitral's Nek Disaster.
+
+   WITH MAHON.
+      A General Advance to Balmoral and Back.
+      To Rustenburg.
+      Ambushed.
+      Heavy Work for the Recording Angel.
+      Relief of Eland's River Garrison. Join in the great De Wet hunt.
+      After De Wet.
+      The Yeoman, the Argentine and the Farrier-Sergeant.
+      Commandeering by Order.
+
+   WITH CLEMENTS.
+      Cattle Lifting.
+      Delarey gives us a Field Day.
+      Burnt to Death.
+      The Infection of Spring again.
+      Death of Lieutenant Stanley.
+      His Burial.
+      Promoted to Full Corporal.
+      Petty Annoyances--The Nigger.
+      A Wet Night.
+      The Great Egg Trick.
+      Our Friend "Nobby."
+      "The Roughs" leave us for Pretoria.
+      The breaking up of the Composite Squadron.
+      Life on a Kopje.
+      Death and Burial of Captain Hodge.
+      Camp Life at Krugersdorp.
+      Lady Snipers at Work.
+      Treatment of the Sick.
+      Veldt Church Service.
+      Comradeship.
+
+   IN HOSPITAL.
+      The Story of Nooitgedacht.
+      Two Field Hospitals--A Contrast.
+      Christmas in Hospital.
+      The Career of an Untruth.
+      The Sisters' Albums.
+      "Long live the King!"
+      The Irish Fusilier's Ambition.
+      "War without End."
+      Invitations--and a Concert.
+      Our Orderly's Blighted Heart.
+      Southward Ho!
+      R.A.M.C. Experiences and Impressions.
+      The Mythical and Real Officer.
+      The R.A.M.C. Sergeant-Major, and other annoyances.
+      At the Base.
+      Another Album!!
+      Reasons.
+      Home.
+
+
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS.
+
+
+                                                         PAGE
+  "A Hot Time!"                                             2
+  "A Camp Sing-Song"                                        7
+  "The Great Small Game Quest(ion)"                         9
+  "The Mealie and Oat Fatigue"                             23
+  "Stable Guard"                                           31
+  "A Terrible Reckoning"                                   44
+  "Some of the Pomp and Circumstance of Glorious War"      52
+  "A New Rig-out"                                          58
+  "Oliver Twist on the Veldt"                              65
+  "Hate"                                                   68
+  "Mails Up"                                               87
+  "I'kona"                                                 89
+  "Nobby"                                                  94
+  "Consolation"                                           112
+  "On Pass"                                               114
+  "A Peep at Our Domestic Life"                           118
+  "Hymns and their Singers"                               129
+  "A Friendly Boer Family"                                141
+  "Well, it's the best Oi can do for yez"                 144
+  "Sick" and "Who said C.I.V.'s?"                         148
+  "Got His Ticket"                                        153
+  "The Thoughtless Sister"                                156
+  "God Save the King"                                     159
+  "Tommy's Spittoon"                                      171
+
+
+
+
+FOREWORD.
+
+
+"More khaki," sniffed a bored but charming lady, as she glanced at a
+picture of the poor Yeomanry at Lindley, and then hastily turned away to
+something of greater interest. I overheard the foregoing at the Royal
+Academy, soon after my return from South Africa, last May, and thanked
+the Fates that I was in mufti. It was to a certain extent indicative of
+the jaded interest with which the War is now being followed by a large
+proportion of the public at home, the majority of whom, I presume, have
+no near or dear ones concerned in the affair; a public which cheered
+itself hoarse and generally made "a hass" of itself many months ago in
+welcoming certain warriors whose period of active service had been
+somewhat short. I wonder how the veterans of the Natal campaign, the
+gallant Irish Brigade, and others, will be received when they return?
+"Come back from the War! What War?"
+
+And yet in spite of this apathy, "War Books" keep appearing, and here is
+a simple Yeoman thrusting yet another on the British Public. Still
+'twere worse than folly to apologise, for _qui s'excuse, s'accuse_.
+
+The present unpretentious volume is composed of letters written to a
+friend from South Africa, during the past twelve months, with a few
+necessary omissions and additions; the illustrations which have been
+introduced, are reproductions in pen and ink of pencil sketches done on
+the veldt or in hospital. The sole aim throughout has been to represent
+a true picture of the every-day life of a trooper in the Imperial
+Yeomanry. In many cases the "grousing" of the ranker may strike the
+reader as objectionable, and had this record been penned in a
+comfortable study, arm-chair philosophy might have caused many a passage
+to be omitted. But the true campaigning atmosphere would have been
+sacrificed.
+
+As the Sussex Squadron of Imperial Yeomanry was, in popular parlance,
+"on its own" till the end of May, the letters dealing with that period
+have been excluded. However, a brief account of the doings of the
+Squadron up to that time is necessary to give continuity to the story,
+so here it is:
+
+
+THE SUSSEX YEOMANRY.
+
+The Yeomanry is a Volunteer Force, and as is generally known, was
+embodied in Great Britain during the wars of the French Revolution.
+History records that at the period named, the County of Sussex
+possessed one of the finest Corps in England. _Autres temps, autres
+moeurs_, and so from apathy and disuse the Sussex Yeomanry gradually
+dwindled in numbers and importance, until it eventually became
+extinct. Then came the dark days of November and December, in the
+year eighteen-hundred-and-ninety-nine. Who will ever forget them?
+And who does not remember with pride the great outburst of
+patriotism, which, like a volcanic eruption, swept every obstacle
+before it, banishing Party rancour and class prejudice, thus welding
+the British race in one gigantic whole, ready to do and die for the
+honour of the Old Flag, and in defence of the Empire which has been
+built up by the blood and brains of its noblest sons. The call for
+Volunteers for Active Service was answered in a manner which left no
+doubt as to the issue. From North, South, East, and West, came
+offers of units, then tens, then hundreds, and finally, thousands,
+the flower of the Nation, were in arms ready for action. The Hon. T.
+A. Brassey, a Sussex man, holding a commission in the West Kent
+Yeomanry, applied for permission and undertook, early in February,
+1900, to form a squadron of Yeomanry from Sussex. The enlistment was
+principally done at Eastbourne, as were also the preliminary drills.
+We went into quarters at Shorncliffe where we trained until the last
+week in March, when early, very early, one dark cold morning, a
+wailing sleepy drum and fife band played us down to the Shorncliffe
+Station, where we entrained for the Albert Docks, London. There the
+transport "Delphic" received us, together with a squadron of Paget's
+Horse (the 73rd I.Y.), and soon after noon the officers and troopers
+were being borne down the river, and with mixed feelings, were
+beginning to realise they were actually off at last. Many, alas,
+were destined never to return.
+
+It is more amusing than ever, now, to recall the remarks of cheerful,
+chaffing friends, who indulged in sly digs at the poor Yeomen previous
+to their departure. At that time, as now, "the end was in sight" only we
+had not got used to it. It was a common experience to be greeted with,
+"Ha, going out to South Africa! Why it'll be all over before you get
+there," or "Well, it'll be a pleasant little trip there and back, for I
+don't suppose they'll land you." Subsequent experience of troopships has
+dispelled even "the pleasant trip" illusion. Another favourite phrase,
+was "Well, if they do use you, they'll put you on the lines of
+communications." Sometimes a generous friend would confidentially ask,
+"Do you think they'll let you start?" And one, a lady, anxious on
+account of gew-gaws, observed, "Oh, I hope they'll give you a medal."
+
+Eventually the slow but sure S.S. "Delphic," having stopped at St.
+Helena to land bullocks for Cronje, Schiel and their friends, disgorged
+us at Cape Town. Our anxiety as to whether the war was over was soon
+allayed, and we gaily marched, a perspiring company, to Maitland Camp.
+Here amid sand and flies we began to conceive what the real thing would
+be like. An extract or two from letters written while at that salubrious
+spot may serve to give an idea of the life there:
+
+     "This place is a perfect New Jerusalem as regards Sheenies, every
+     civilian about the camp appearing to be a German Jew refugee.
+     They have stalls and sell soap, buns, braces, belts, &c., and so
+     forth. Every now and again a big Semitic proboscis appears at our
+     tent door, and the question 'Does anypody vant to puy a vatch' is
+     propounded."
+
+Hungarian horses were drawn and quartered by our lines, and saddlery
+served out. By-the-way, I have always flattered myself there was at
+least one good thing about the 69th Squadron I.Y., they had excellent
+saddles. The first time we turned out in full marching order was a
+terrible affair, and the following may help to convey an idea of the
+_tout ensemble_ of an erstwhile peaceful citizen:
+
+     "Please imagine me as an average Yeoman in full marching order.
+     Dangling on each side of the saddle are apparently two small
+     hay-ricks in nets; then wallets full, and over them a rolled
+     overcoat and an extra pair of boots. Behind, rolled
+     waterproof-sheet and army blanket, with iron picketing-peg and
+     rope, and mess-tin on top. Elsewhere the close observer mentally
+     notes a half-filled nosebag. So much for the horse, and then,
+     loaded with the implements of war, bristling with cartridges,
+     water-bottle, field-glass, haversack, bayonet and so on, we
+     behold the Yeoman. With great dexterity (not always) he fits
+     himself into the already apparently superfluously-decorated
+     saddle, and once there, though he may wobble about, takes some
+     displacing.
+
+     "I really must remark on the marvellous head for figures that we
+     Yeomen are expected to have. Read this. Comment from myself will
+     be superfluous.
+
+     "My Company number is 51.
+
+     "My regimental number is 16,484.
+
+     "My rifle and bayonet, 2,502.
+
+     "The breech-block and barrel of the rifle are numbered 4,870.
+
+     "My horse's number is 1,388.
+
+     "There may be a few more numbers attached to me; if so, I have
+     overlooked them."
+
+_En passant_, I must mention we were with our proper battalion, the
+14th, commanded by Colonel Brookfield, M.P., at Maitland. Eventually,
+thanks to the fact of his Grace the Duke of Norfolk being attached to
+our squadron, when we got the order to go up country we left the rest of
+the battalion behind at Bloemfontein, cursing, and proceeded by rail as
+far as Smaldeel, where we detrained with our horses and commenced
+treking after the immortal "Bobs."
+
+His Grace's servant, rather an old fellow, did not seem to particularly
+care for campaigning, and, often, dolefully regarding his khaki
+garments, would sorrowfully remark, "To think as 'ow I've served 'im all
+these years, and now 'e should bring me hout 'ere. It does seem 'ard." I
+think a pilgrimage would have been more to his liking.
+
+Our first experience of "watering horses" on the trek was both
+interesting and exciting, it occurred at Smaldeel.
+
+     "The horses we proceeded to water at once; I had the pleasure of
+     taking two and of proving the proverb, _re_ leading horses to the
+     water. _En route_ were dead horses to the right and dead horses
+     to the left; in the water, which was black, one was dying in an
+     apparently contented manner, while another lay within a few
+     yards of it doing the same thing in a don't-care-a-bit sort of
+     way. Regarded from five hours later, I fancy my performances with
+     the two noble steeds in my charge must have been distinctly
+     amusing to view, had anyone been unoccupied enough to watch me.
+     Vainly did I try to induce them to drink of the
+     printer's-ink-like fluid, water and mud, already stirred up by
+     hundreds of other horses. When they did go in, they went for a
+     splash, a paddle, and a roll, not to imbibe, and I had to go with
+     them a little way, nearly up to my knees, in the mud. I have
+     arrived at the conclusion that the noble quadruped is not an
+     altogether pleasant beast. Still, I suppose he has an opinion of
+     us poor mortals. In death he is also far from pleasant, as was
+     conclusively proved when night came on, and a dead one near us
+     began to assert his presence with unnecessary emphasis. Phew!
+     It's all very well saying that a live donkey is better than a
+     dead lion, but judging from my experience of dead horses, which
+     is just commencing, I should say that the dead lion would prove
+     mightily offensive."
+
+The water in the Free State, as a rule, was most unsatisfactory.
+Marching in the wake of an army of about 50,000 men, however, one would
+scarcely expect water to remain unstirred or unpolluted. I always found
+my tea or coffee more enjoyable when the water for it was drawn by
+somebody else. Even though that comrade would jestingly call it
+"Bovril," and unnecessarily explain that the pool it came from contained
+two dead horses and an ox.
+
+One more extract and I have done.
+
+     "Yesterday (Friday, May 25th) we got as far as Leeum Spruit. So
+     far they had succeeded in getting the railway in working order,
+     but there the scene was one of utter destruction, three or four
+     bridges being blown up, and the rails all twisted and sticking up
+     in the air. Hundreds of Kaffirs were at work getting things
+     straight, which to any ordinary person would seem impossible.
+
+     "It is a marvellous sight to see the convoys toiling in the track
+     of Roberts' army, the blown-up bridges and rails, and the
+     deserted farms. Of course, some are still inhabited. It may
+     interest linguists and admirers of Laurence Sterne to know that
+     the language of the British Army in South Africa is the same as
+     it was with our army in Flanders in Uncle Toby's days--of course,
+     allowing for an up-to-date vocabulary.
+
+     "Sunday, May 27th.--Up with the unfortunate early worm, as usual.
+     Our _reveille_ generally consists of a shout and a kick, as our
+     bugle is not used. It seems hard to realise that to-day is
+     Sunday, and while the church bells at home are ringing, or the
+     service is in progress, we dirty, unshaven beings, who once had
+     part in the far-away life, are either riding or leading our
+     horses across the flat and, in many places, charred veldt, past
+     blown-up bridges, torn-up rails, convoys leisurely drawn by
+     languid oxen, demolished houses, bleached bones of oxen, horses
+     and mules, as well as the so-often-alluded-to dead beasts known
+     by Tommy as 'Roberts' Milestones,' and all that goes to
+     war--glorious war. We are making a fairly long march to-day, as
+     we hope to catch Roberts at last. Anyhow, to-night should see us
+     at the frontier--the Vaal River."
+
+
+
+
+PART I.
+
+ON THE TREK.
+
+WITH ROBERTS.
+
+
+THE OCCUPATION OF JOHANNESBURG.
+
+                                        ORANGE GROVE,
+                                          NEAR JOHANNESBURG.
+                                            _Saturday, June 2nd, 1900._
+
+On Monday, May 28th, at mid-day, we reached the Vaal River, where we
+stopped and took all our superfluous kit off the horses, which left us
+with one blanket per man; were provided with four biscuits each, rations
+for two days, and so with light hearts and saddles, we forded Viljoen's
+Drift; into the Transvaal--at last! We had a long march to catch
+Roberts, but this country provides one with heaps of things to break any
+monotony that might otherwise exist, for it is ever "'Ware wire," "'Ware
+hole," "'Ware rock," or "'Ware ant hill," and now and again in the
+thick, blinding cloud of reddish dust a man and horse go down, and
+another a-top of them. Soon after dark, nearly the whole of the veldt
+around us became illuminated, reminding me of a colossal Brock's Benefit
+or the Jubilee Fleet Illuminations. As a matter of fact, the veldt was
+a-fire. The effect was really wonderful. At about ten o'clock we reached
+the main body, and being informed that Roberts was about four miles
+ahead with the 11th Division, our captain decided to bivouac for the
+night, and catch him up in the morning. After ringing our horses, we
+wandered round in the dark, and finding a convenient cart in a barn,
+soon after had a good enough fire to cook some meat we managed to
+secure, and then, dead fagged, turn in to sleep. [Here I would fain
+mutter an aside. When I was at home, a certain jingo song was much sung,
+perhaps is still; it was entitled, "A hot time in the Transvaal
+to-night." I want to find the man who wrote that song, and get him to
+bivouac with us for a night, at this time of the year, with an overcoat
+and one blanket.] We awoke well covered with frost, and the stars have
+seldom twinkled on a more miserable set of shivering devils than we of
+the 69th Company I.Y. A nibble at a biscuit, no coffee, and we were
+after Roberts. We caught him up after about an hour's riding; the 11th
+Division was moving out as we came up. The Guards' Brigade was going
+forward on our right, and Artillery rolling forward on our left, with
+ambulance waggons, carts, and general camp equipment joining in the
+procession. We moved smartly on, trotting past the Guards' Brigade,
+soldiers straggling on who had fallen out for one reason or another, or
+sitting by the wayside attending to sore feet, till we came up with the
+Staff. Our captain reported himself, and _pro tem._ we were attached to
+Lord Roberts' bodyguard.
+
+[Illustration: "_A hot time!_"]
+
+After a halt for our mid-day grub (we had none, having devoured our
+biscuits and emergency rations about three hours before, for which we
+were severely reprimanded by our captain, the Hon. T. A. B.), we
+proceeded again. At last we reached a ridge, and halting there, we
+beheld the Rand, and about six miles to our left, Johannesburg. A
+railway station having been captured, with about a dozen engines and
+rolling stock, the Army bivouacked for the night. We were in a field by
+a farmhouse, where we bought some meat very cheaply, and had a good
+supper, which would have been all the better had we had bread or even
+the once but now no more despised biscuits to eat with it. The next day
+we received orders to join the 7th Battalion I.Y., so saddled up, and
+passing through Elsburg and the Rose Dip, Primrose, and other mines,
+joined our new Battalion at Germiston. The 7th I.Y. Battalion is a West
+Country one, being composed of the Devon, Dorset, and Somerset Yeomanry
+and has seen some stiff service at Dewetsdorp. In the afternoon I had
+the misfortune to go out with our troop officer and another man to find
+our 4th troop, which had been left behind as baggage guard. Us did he
+lose (oh, the Yeomanry officer!) and when it was dark, we set out to
+find our company in the great camp the other side of Elsburg. What I
+said about that officer as I stumbled over rocks, ant hills, and holes,
+in these, my cooler moments, it would not become my dignity to record.
+The next day, Thursday (my birthday) promised to be an eventful one, and
+was. Johannesburg was to be attacked if it did not surrender by ten
+o'clock. With well-cleaned rifles and tightly-girthed horses, we moved
+out with our Battalion at nine o'clock to take up our position. Our duty
+was to attack the waterworks, if there was any resistance. However, as
+you know, the place capitulated; news was brought to us that the fort
+had surrendered, and we at once rapidly trotted up to it to take
+possession. Arrived outside, we were dismounted and marched into it, and
+drawn up in line facing the flagstaff on the fort wall. Suddenly a
+little ball was run up to the truck, a jerk and the Flag of England, the
+dear old Union Jack, was flying on the walls of the Johannesburg Fort.
+Then we cheered for our Queen, and again, when from somewhere a chromo
+of Her Gracious Majesty was produced and held aloft. Roberts' Raid had
+been successful. The Boer garrison seemed more relieved than depressed.
+Indeed, the commandant's servant gave us all the cold roast beef and
+bread that he had. Guards having been told off, and the horses picketed
+in the Police Barracks Yard, some of us had leave to go into the town. I
+was one of the fortunates. The enthusiasm of the inhabitants and their
+generous treatment of the men in khaki will be long remembered. The
+coloured population all showed great, gleaming rows of teeth, and
+ejaculated what I took to be meant for British cheers. Bread was given
+away, cigars and cigarettes forced (?) upon us, and meals stood right
+and left. A German girl, at a florist's, decorated about half-a-dozen of
+us with red, white and blue buttonholes. We were dirty and unshaven, but
+it mattered not, we were monarchs (_Vae Victis!_) and was it not my
+birthday? Into the shops we went. All were closed, but we persuaded some
+to open, and the good German Jew merchants let us commandeer within
+reason. Haversacks and pockets were filled. The actual prices of things
+were fairly high: sugar 1/6 per lb., condensed milk 2/-, golden syrup
+4/- a small tin, and so on. One of our fellows, after being well fed,
+was sent back to us loaded with boxes of briar pipes to distribute,
+another with socks and vests; others were given Kruger pennies, as
+souvenirs. And all the day, and all the night, through the streets
+marched our troops, rolled and rattled our guns, our carts and waggons.
+And the night, oh, what a night! For seven miles I struggled on in
+charge of our ammunition cart, in search of our company, picking my way
+out of a mass of bullock waggons, carts, mules, and every imaginable
+vehicle; men asking for this brigade and that division on every hand;
+transport officers cursing, conductors exhorting, and niggers yelling
+and cracking whips.
+
+
+PRETORIA TAKEN.
+
+                                        WITHIN SIGHT OF EERSTIE FABRIKEN,
+                                          E. OF PRETORIA.
+                                            _June 10th, 1900._
+
+Fortunately for you in my last I left off rather abruptly in order to
+catch the post, or I should have bored you with a long account of my
+search with our ammunition cart for the company along the road to
+Pretoria from Johannesburg. For seven miles we--a comrade, myself, the
+blank Kaffir driver and mules--struggled and stumbled between long halts
+after our crowd, past waggons, carts, dhoolies, and chaises of all
+descriptions, the drivers of most of which were all inquiring for
+various divisions, brigades, battalions, companies, and such like. At
+last, at about one o'clock, having come up with the 11th Division, we
+halted and outspanned near the Guards' Brigade. At the first sign of
+daybreak I arose, and going forward about a quarter of a mile or less,
+came up with our company. The captain told me to get the mules inspanned
+and follow on. Owing to the infernal slowness of Tom, the driver, we got
+off late and had another terrible search, this time by daylight, to find
+the 7th Battalion I.Y., which at last we found camped at Orange Grove,
+about two miles from where we had bivouacked the preceding night. The
+next day (Sunday) we were looking to spending in a restful way, but this
+was not to be. We suddenly got the order to "saddle up," and forward to
+Pretoria we went. At about two in the afternoon we halted and picketed
+our horses not far from a farm. There rather a curious, though perhaps
+trivial, thing happened. Amongst the hundred-and-one little
+_contretemps_ to which the Imperial Yeoman on active service is heir to,
+I had lost my nosebag on our night march from Johannesburg. This
+contained, besides the horse's feed, a tin of honey--of which I am as
+fond as any bear--and a pot of bloater paste, obtained (good word) at
+the Golden City from a "Sherman Shoe." Well, wandering in the direction
+of the farm, I came near a duck-pond and a clump of small trees, from
+which smoke was arising. My curiosity being aroused, I approached, and
+found that some Australians and Cape Boys were smoking out some bees. I
+arrived in the nick of time, and got a helmet-full of the most delicious
+honey in the comb I have tasted for many a day. On Monday, June 4th, we
+started for what we understood was to be our last march to Pretoria. We
+had the good fortune to be in the advance party. Soon after starting the
+Duke of Norfolk's horse fell in a hole and put his thigh out, so he lost
+the fun, for it was not long before, from the hills ahead of us, came
+rap, rap, and then the rat-tat-tat-tat of a machine gun. We dismounted,
+advanced extended, and opened fire. I aimed at the hills, so I know I
+hit something. The Boers retiring, we (that is the battalion) occupied
+one kopje and then another, the dust flicking up in front of us. Then
+boom! whish-sh-sh! a cloud of red dust shot up, and crack! and their
+artillery had come into action. One shell burst directly over our heads,
+then we were told to retire to our led horses, which necessitated
+crossing a road on which their fire was directed. Needless to say this
+was not an altogether uninteresting proceeding. And so the game went on,
+our guns coming into action in grand style. We got in for rather a warm
+rifle fire once; we galloped up, dismounted, and advanced to the top of
+a kopje which was covered with rather long grass. Buzz-buzz-buzz went
+the busy bullets seeking unwilling billets. They came very close there,
+snipping the grass tops close beside us. Here there were casualties in
+several of the other companies. One of our fellows was shot through the
+leg, and Mr. Ashby was knocked on the waist-belt by a spent bullet or
+piece of shell and rendered unconscious for some time. Later, in
+galloping across an exposed space to occupy another kopje, the captain's
+horse was shot under him, as well as several others. I think that is
+more than enough of the affair; I have no doubt you know better what
+really was done than we. No waggons coming up that night, we had no
+rations nor breakfast next day, so you see we do the thing in style, for
+we had started the day at four and only had a pannikin of coffee and a
+biscuit for breakfast. The next day we heard that the Pretoria Forts had
+surrendered and the Boer Forces withdrawn, and the whole army advanced
+at last on its final march to Pretoria, and this humble _Ego_, who
+months ago at home had thought and talked of this great event, and not
+for a moment anticipated participation in the same, formed a modest unit
+of the victorious horde. However, that day we (the 7th I.Y.) did not go
+into the capital, but camped outside of it. Not to be done, after we had
+picketed our horses, I made my way into a Kaffir suburb near us, and did
+well at a couple of stores, kept by German Jews, coming back with a sack
+of tinned edibles and some Kruger pennies. The next day a friend and I
+were lucky, and got leave into Pretoria. We returned to a grateful and
+enthusiastic troop, laden with quite a score-and-a-half of loaves, at
+six in the evening, and concluded a pleasant day with a high tea (very
+high) and a camp-fire sing-song. "Chorus, gentlemen!":
+
+  It's 'ard to sye good-bye to yer own native land,
+  It's 'ard to give the farewell kiss, and parting grip of the 'and,
+  It's 'ard to leave yer sweetheart, in foreign lands to roam;
+  But it's 'arder still to sye good-bye to the ole folks at 'ome.
+
+[Illustration: _A Camp Sing Song._ "_They call me the Jewel of Asia._"]
+
+That night we entertained several ex-British soldier prisoners from
+Waterval.
+
+My horse (late of the R.H.A.), picked up at Kroonstad, is going very
+strong. He is very useful to me as a means of locomotion, but otherwise
+no good feeling exists between us, for he is the most senseless, clumsy
+brute that I have ever come across in the animal kingdom. He is always
+treading on me and doing other idiotic and annoying acts. A few days ago
+he got entangled in the picketing ropes, and on my going to his
+assistance promptly fell forward upon me (he is the biggest horse I have
+seen in any Yeomanry Company) and nearly broke my instep. I have lately
+re-christened him "Juggernaut," which I think is not an inappropriate
+name. I had not much time to spare when we went into Pretoria, but could
+not help stopping to watch a couple of regiments go through--the Derbies
+with their band and the Camerons with their pipers. It was a grand sight
+to see those dirty, ragged, khaki-clad fellows tramping past the
+Volksraad, over which the Flag was flying, and note the tired but grim
+smile of satisfaction with which they regarded it. Quite two out of
+every four infantrymen I saw limped along with feet sore from marching
+over all sorts of roads and "where there was never a road." Some were
+getting along with the aid of sticks--most, if not all, of the officers
+march with sticks.
+
+On Thursday, June 7th, we were still in camp outside of Pretoria, with a
+hospital, containing interesting cases of leprosy, small-pox and fever
+behind us; and about 200 yards to our left front hundreds of dead horses
+and a few vultures. At mid-day the usual unexpected thing happened, and
+it was "saddle up," and off we rode through the captured capital,
+passing Kruger's house, with the two lions outside the entrance,
+presented to him by Barney Barnato, and a group of typical old Boers
+seated at a table on the stoep. We bivouacked about six or eight miles
+east of the town, and the next morning caught up the army and took our
+place in advance again. At mid-day we halted within sight of Eerstie
+Fabriken.[1] Some of us were having a _siesta_ and others eating
+biscuits and bully beef, or smoking the pipe of peace (peace, when there
+is no peace!), when--Boom! whish-sh! over our heads, and about 100 yards
+behind us a group of horses was lost in a cloud of brown earth and dust.
+Then another and another came, and we got the order to take cover to our
+right, which was promptly obeyed. Our guns came into action, and later
+an armistice was arranged, for the convenience of Brother Boer, I
+presume, which to-day (Sunday) still continues.
+
+         [Footnote 1: Otherwise known as the "Hatherly Distillery,"
+         owned by a chameleon millionaire German-Jew, named Sammy
+         Marks. Oh, that fine old Scotch whisky! The labels announcing
+         this un-fact are, I understand, obtained from the Old Country
+         and gummed on the bottles at Hatherly.]
+
+[Illustration: _The Great Small Game Quest(ion)._]
+
+This morning (Sunday, the 10th) we had the first Church Parade we have
+had for a long time. The sermon was good, and from it I gathered that it
+was Trinity Sunday. Yesterday it was a curious sight to see us
+employing our leisured ease in stripping ourselves, scratching our
+bodies, and carefully examining our shirts and underwear. A brutal
+lice(ntious) soldiery! Most of us have had quite large families of
+_these_ dependent upon us; a more euphonious term for them is "Roberts'
+Scouts." Men to whom the existence of such insects was once merely a
+vaguely-accepted fact, and who would have brought libel actions against
+any persons insinuating that they possessed such things, after having
+been disillusioned of the idea that they were troubled with the "prickly
+itch," were calmly, naked and unashamed, searching diligently for their
+tormentors in their clothes as to the manner born. Being fortunate
+enough to find an officer's servant with a bottle of Jeyes', I finally
+washed both myself and clothes in a solution of it, so once again I am a
+free man, but the cry goes up "How long?" and echo repeats it. I have
+been told that the best way to get rid of these undesirable insects is
+to keep turning one's shirt inside out; by this means _their hearts are
+eventually broken_.
+
+
+DIAMOND HILL AND AFTER.[2]
+
+         [Footnote 2: That we played a small part in the extensive
+         operations, culminating in what is known as the Battle of
+         Diamond Hill, was only known to most of us four or five
+         months later.]
+
+                                        PIENAARSPOORT.
+                                          _Friday, June 15th, (?) 1900._
+
+_Dolce far niente._ I am not certain about the spelling, or quite
+positive about its interpretation, but it means something comfortable, I
+am sure. And that is just what I am at present. I have lost the scanty
+notes on which I try to base my periodical literary outbursts, and which
+assist me to retain some hazy notion of the date and day of the week, so
+both you at home and I out here ought to feel "for this relief much
+thanks!" And the reason for all this contentment and satisfaction is
+this. We were shifted from our last camping ground yesterday afternoon,
+and have arrived here. We are here for two or three days at the least.
+That is as far as we can gather, and we "just do" hear a lot. This means
+a bit of rest from the everlasting early _reveille_, saddling up,
+packing up kit, and so forth. So behold me on the veldt, leaning against
+my saddle in my shirt sleeves, taking things easy, after having dined
+well on a loaf of bread well covered with tinned butter obtained at a
+store some miles back owing to my having to fall out of the ranks on
+account of a broken girth (hem!) on our march hither. The bread a Scotch
+farmer, and tenant of Sammy Marks, gave me yesterday. Of course you must
+have noted how the principal topic with us is grub, and probably felt
+contempt for us, still I assure you it is the great Army question. When
+you meet a man out here, usually the first question is "What sort of
+grub are you having?" Then, after another remark or so, "Seen much
+fighting?" Or, again, on asking a man what sort of a general Buller is,
+for instance, the reply comes pat, "A grand man--he looks after your
+rations. Feeds you well!" Still, it must be admitted it looks rather
+amusing to see a big, bearded man expectantly awaiting his share of
+condensed milk or sugar to spread on a piece of biscuit. As regards
+fighting, we have been shelled over a bit lately. I think it was last
+Monday I had to go and see if there was anybody in a small house some
+distance opposite a range of kopjes occupied by the enemy. I had to kick
+in the door, and hitch my horse to a tree. Nobody was in the house; but
+the firing got very warm while I was making my visit. On Tuesday one of
+our patrols was ambushed, and only one man returned with the news. Later
+the officer in command of the troop came in with a corporal, and we
+heard that one fellow had been severely wounded and several horses lost.
+The rest eventually straggled in. All had tales of marvellous escapes to
+tell, some had laid low in a river up to their necks in water for many
+hours, others in the long grass. Yesterday we heard that the Boers
+confessed to three killed and three or four wounded, and as our man is
+progressing favourably I don't think their ambush was a great success,
+especially as they opened fire at a hundred yards or less, a fact which
+does not speak highly for their marksmanship.
+
+Referring to grass, it is truly wonderful how inconspicuous our khaki is
+amidst rocks or grass. Riding along on Monday last I almost rode slap
+over some Guardsmen who were halted and lying or sitting in the grass. I
+only became aware of their presence when about ten yards from them. And
+they all want to get home again--
+
+  "'Ome, and friends so dear, Jennie,
+     'Anging round the yard,
+    All the way from Fratton,
+      Down to Portsmouth 'Ard."
+
+Nearly every other sentence one hears out here begins with "When I get
+home----." Had one of the Guardsmen been inclined to assist me with a
+rhyme to the tune of "Mandalay," he might have sinned thuswise:
+
+  I'm learnin' 'ere in Afriky wot the bloomin' poet tells,
+  If you've 'eard the song of "'Ome, sweet 'Ome," you won't 'eed nothin'
+                                                                   else.
+          No, you won't 'eed nothin' else
+          But the English hills and dells,
+  And the cosy house or cottage where the lovin' family dwells.
+          On the road to London Town,
+          Home of great and small renown,
+  Where the bright lights gleam and glitter on the rich and on the poor.
+          Oh! the lights of London Town,
+          And the strollin' up and down,
+  Where the fog rolls over everything and the mighty city's roar.
+  Ship me home towards that city, where the best live with the worst,
+  Where there are "Blue Ribbon" Armies, but a man _can_ quench a thirst.
+
+This, by the way, might allude to Lord Roberts' order, by which all the
+bars are closed wherever the troops go. When I went into Pretoria not a
+bar was open.
+
+  "'E's rather down on drink
+    Is Father Bobs."
+
+It is quite on the cards that we may be disbanded soon. The war is
+generally regarded as almost over, and candidates for the Military
+Police Force, which is being organised for the Transvaal and Orange Free
+State, are being sought for amongst the various Yeomanry Companies out
+here, the conditions being an optional three months' service, ten
+shillings a day pay and all found. About fifty of our company have
+volunteered, and may go into Pretoria any day now. These fifty have been
+supplied with the best horses we have amongst us, and we have not many
+now, my horse "Juggernaut," being one of the horses which had to be
+handed to the future _slops_, as the candidates are now being
+disrespectfully termed. This being the case, my future movements will be
+in the manner called "a foot slog" behind the ox-waggons.
+
+
+BACK TO PRETORIA.
+
+                                   NEAR THE RACECOURSE, PRETORIA.
+                                     (A Return Visit.)
+                                        _Wednesday, June 20th, 1900._
+
+"Here we are again" at Pretoria, that is, all that is left of us, for
+about fifty have joined the Military Police, others are wounded, sick,
+or missing, and the horses now in our lines number about two dozen
+moderately sound ones. All of this suggests, to minds capable of the
+wildest imaginings, a near return to England, home, and beauty. Some
+experts have actually fixed the date, which varies from within the week
+to within the next two months.
+
+Last Saturday (June 16th) we left Pienaarspoort in the morning, and
+marched for about five miles in an easterly direction, many of us doing
+"a foot slog," having, as I have already mentioned, surrendered our
+mounts to the policemen; the mounted men had only just unsaddled for the
+mid-day halt, and collected wood to cook coffee and in some cases ducks
+obtained from inhospitable farmers flying the white flag, an emblem of
+which the Boer has made the best use for himself times innumerable, when
+the order was heliographed from a distant kopje for the 7th Battalion
+I.V., attached to the 4th M.I., to march back to Pretoria. Then, in my
+opinion, a great event happened. We footsloggers determined to detach
+ourselves from our particular convoy and march into Pretoria, a distance
+of twenty miles or more, in addition to the four we had already tramped.
+I believe it was in my brain that this memorable (to us) march
+originated. We were certain that the mounted men would not reach the
+capital that night, as of course they had to keep in touch with the
+ox-waggons, and as we had to tramp, we determined to tramp to some
+purpose. Our goal was no cold bivouac on the hard earth outside
+Pretoria, with the usual weary waiting for the ox-waggons stuck in a
+spruit about four miles astern, but Pretoria itself, where bread and
+stores were to be obtained, a square meal at a table, and, oh! ye
+gentlemen of England, who live at home at ease, _a bed_. Imbued with
+this idea, with sloped rifle we gaily commenced our return march. Soon
+we came upon miles upon miles of convoys with straggling Colonials,
+Highlanders, Guardsmen, C.I.V.'s, indeed, representatives of all
+branches of the service, and all parts of the Empire, one and all
+toiling in the direction of Pretoria. We started at about mid-day, and
+reached our destination, tired and famished, at seven. After the first
+ten miles, behold a string of four men, tramping with never a halt, over
+rocks and grass, through spruits, past unutterably aromatic defunct
+representatives of the equine race, and through dust ankle deep, towards
+the city of their desire. Darkness came on swiftly, as it does out here,
+and past hundreds of camp fires they limped, footsore but as determined
+as ever, though in no good temper, for this is the order of some of
+their questions and answers towards the end of their march:
+
+"How far off is Pretoria?"--"Three-and-a-half miles."
+
+"How far off is Pretoria?"--"Seven miles."
+
+"How far off is Pretoria?"--"Nine miles."
+
+"How far off is Pretoria?"--"Three miles."
+
+"Have you a Kruger penny?"--"No."
+
+After tramping another two miles:
+
+"How far off is Pretoria?"--"Three or four miles."
+
+At last we beheld lights, not camp lights, but electric lights, and
+cheered by these, we quickened our pace. Alas! they seemed to play us a
+sorry game, and mocking, Will-o'-the-Wisp-like, retreated as we
+advanced. Then, too, we cursed those once blessed electric lights.
+Finally we reached the outskirts of the town, and seeing a closed store,
+with rifle butts and threatening tones persuaded the German dealer to
+open unto us. Here, speaking personally, I disposed of over half a tin
+of biscuits and two tins of jam. _Note by the Way_: These South African
+fresh fruit jams are, I am convinced, made of the numberless pumpkins
+and similar vegetables that one sees in nearly every field, and then
+indiscriminately labelled (I nearly wrote _libelled_) "peach,"
+"apricot," "greengage," and--so help me, Roberts!--"marmalade." One of
+the manufacturers even has the audacity to boldly proclaim his preserves
+"stoneless plum and apricot";--as a matter of fact, pumpkins do not
+usually have stones.
+
+Finally we entered the town, where every shop was closed, but, thanks to
+the guidance of a kindly German, after about half-a-dozen unsuccessful
+efforts we at length obtained food and shelter at a house called "The
+Albion." Oh, the pleasure of sleeping in a bed and under a roof after
+_aeons_ (to me) on the hard earth beneath the stars and dew! The next
+morning (Sunday) as we were breakfasting, we beheld unseen, the 7th
+Battalion ride past, and later, after purchasing a few stores, joined
+them where they were camped near the now historic Racecourse. I omitted
+to mention above that as we lay in our comfortable beds that eventful
+Saturday night, we heard the rain pouring in torrents upon the
+galvanised iron roof above our heads, and grimly smiled as we thought of
+the other less fortunate officers, non-commissioned officers and men of
+the I.Y., lying out in the open, vainly trying to get shelter and
+protection under narrow waterproof sheets. Alas, we only had the laugh
+of them that night--I am writing on Friday, June 22nd--for since then we
+have had rain every night, and a fair amount in the daytime as well, and
+when it rains out here there is no compromise about it. Without tents we
+have had a "dooce" of a time. Of course, we have to improvise shelters
+with our blankets. Our place is known as "The Moated Grange,"--a trench
+having been dug round it for reasons not wholly connected with _Jupiter
+Pluvius_. Others are, or would be, known to the postman, did he but come
+our way ("he cometh not") as "No. 1 Park Mansions," "The Manor House,"
+"Balmoral," "Belle Vue," "Buckingham Palace," and "The Lodge." _Apropos_
+of something which concerns a lot of A.M.B.'s, the following may not be
+devoid of interest:
+
+_Scene_: Any chemist's shop in Pretoria. Enter gentleman in khaki
+shrugging himself. With a scratch at his chest and side.
+
+"Er--have you any--er--Keating's powder?"
+
+_Chemist_: "No, zaar, de Englis' soldiers haf bought it all. It is
+finish." (Exit gentleman in khaki, scratching himself desperately.)
+
+Our numbers are now considerably reduced, over half of the Battalion
+have joined the Military Police, others having taken over civil
+employment in the Post Office and Government buildings. Many who were
+not desirous of joining the Police have finally done so, thanks to the
+innumerable fatigues, pickets on the surrounding kopjes, and the
+crowning discomforts of the rainy nights (now over, I am happy to say,
+Sunday, June, 24th). At present our particular, or unparticular,
+company, numbers twenty-one men, with five troop horses and some
+officers' chargers, all that is left of the hundred and twenty mounted
+men that left Maitland Camp in May. Does this sound Utopian? Those men
+who are anxious to obtain civil employment are allowed (or persuaded) to
+join the Police, while the authorities are exerting themselves to obtain
+berths for them at salaries ranging from L300 to L500 or more per annum.
+While nominally with the Police these men do no duties, but draw ten
+shillings a day, besides having the advantage, when it rains, of
+possessing a roof over their heads, and the pleasurable knowledge that
+their pig-headed comrades who have joined as Yeomen and elect to remain
+so to the end, are in the diminished lines about two miles out of the
+town, doing fatigues and guards innumerable, and drawing therefor the
+munificent sum of 1s. 5d. per _diem_. Every day for the last week the
+captain and officers have been asking the men if they wish to join the
+Police or would like to have civil employment found them; and the
+company has been more like a registry office than anything else I can
+think of. To-day (Sunday) we--nine of us and a sergeant--went to church
+with other detachments of the 7th I.Y. It was no open-air church parade,
+where one has to stand all through the service, but a genuine church
+with pews that we went to. It is called St. Alban's Cathedral, and is
+evidently the chief English Church in Pretoria. It was the first time we
+had been in a church since leaving Shorncliffe; the service was very
+reminiscent of a home one and exceedingly restful. The illusion was
+complete when, at the conclusion of the service, _a collection was
+taken_. Now that the rain is all over, we have had tents served out to
+us. The battalion sergeant-major came round a few days ago with "Now,
+then, you fellows, down with those _rabbit hutches_ ("The Grange") and
+put these tents up." They are Boer tents, small and oblong in shape.
+Ours is very rotten, and has a big hole burnt in the top as well as a
+large rent at one end. These we have, however, patched up to our
+satisfaction and comfort. As we are here for the deuce knows how long,
+the beloved army red tape and routine is coming into vogue again.
+
+
+ENTERTAINING A GUEST.
+
+                                   HOREN'S NEK,
+                                     (About 10 miles W. of Pretoria).
+                                       _Thursday, July 5th, 1900._
+
+Here goes for another letter, so pull yourself together. I am here with
+twenty others of the 7th I.Y. on outlying picket, and although the
+affair began rather joylessly, we are getting on very well now. By way
+of parenthesis, it is more than passing strange that whenever I try to
+write a letter somebody always starts singing. At present, a man of the
+Dorsets is lifting his voice in anguish and promising to "Take Kathleen
+home again." He has just followed on with that mournful ballad, entitled
+"The Gipsy's Warning:"
+
+  "Do not 'eed 'im, gentle strynger."
+
+I cannot help heeding him, but I dare not remonstrate, as he is the cook
+of our party, and in the Army, as elsewhere, _Monsieur le Chef_, be he
+ever so humble, is a power. So I will desist for the present, and resume
+this to-morrow on the top of a kopje.
+
+(_Resumed._)
+
+Every night we do guard on two of the near kopjes, and every other day I
+have to go up with a guard, to another kopje, used as an observation
+post, and look with a telescope and the nude optic, Sister Anne like,
+for "staggerers of humanity." On Sunday, the 1st, we went to church
+again. The preparations the young British Yeoman makes for church going
+out here vary considerably, like most other things, from those he is
+accustomed to make at home. Having shaved himself with the aid of the
+only piece of looking-glass possessed by the company, and a razor, which
+in days gone by would have been a valuable acquisition to the
+Inquisitorial torture chambers, washed in a bucket and brushed his
+clothes with an old horse brush, technically known as "a dandy," he
+looks like a fairly respectable tramp, and is ready to fall in with his
+comrades for the two or three miles tramp to Divine service. I had the
+pleasure of entertaining a guest at breakfast before going to kirk. He
+rode up to our cook-house fire (one always _says_ cook-house and
+guard-room) to get a light for his pipe. The broad-brimmed hat with the
+bronze badge of maple leaves and the word "_Canada_," proclaimed whence
+he hailed. After a few minutes' conversation, I invited him to partake
+of our breakfast, and, after no little persuasion--he at first refused
+on the grounds that he would be depriving us of our full share--he
+accepted, and came and joined us. He seemed very reluctant to take much
+at first, and all through the meal, which consisted of mealie porridge
+and sugar, _cafe sans lait_, bread and jam, expressed his appreciation
+of our scant hospitality. He had joined the Military Police for three
+months, and was on patrol.
+
+"Where did he hail from?"
+
+"The North-West Frontier."
+
+"Had he ever been to England?"
+
+"No; but would like to, I guess."
+
+Here was a man who had never seen England, roughing it and fighting for
+her out here, side by side with us, the home-born; and he only one of
+many.
+
+"Hang it, have some more jam, old chap?"
+
+He told us all about the life (cow-boy) he led at home, and wished he
+could have our company at a "rounding-up," it was rare fun.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Now, then, turn out, and get everything packed on the waggons at once,
+and fall in in marching order!" How would you like to be awakened out of
+a comfortable sleep at 3 a.m. in the above manner? Still, we are pretty
+well accustomed to that sort of thing by now. Having fulfilled the above
+injunctions, we stood to arms for about three hours and were then
+dismissed. Some of us, I being one, were told off for the outlying
+picket we are now doing. _Just_ as dinner was served up, we had to fall
+in and march off, so, despite a ravenous appetite, I had to throw the
+contents of my pannikin, which I had just filled, away, and with
+smothered curses on the usual "messing about" which the Imperial Yeoman
+always has to suffer, fell in and marched away. When we reached this
+place at about five o'clock, we found that, owing to the usual somebody
+blundering, sufficient rations had not been put on the waggons for us.
+The men we relieved seemed very unhappy and were delighted to hear they
+were to go back. They had had one or two alarms, and had to retire on a
+fort one night. Almost immediately we were sent off to our kopjes, where
+we spend our nights. The kopjes round here are really horrible things:
+to ascend and descend them one requires legs of flexible iron, and the
+amiability and patience of Job. At night one has to pick and choose a
+little, before getting a satisfactory "doss." To arrange your couch you
+must, of course, remove all the movable stones, and as regards the
+fixtures it is strange how in a short time one's body seems
+instinctively to accommodate itself to the undulations of the chosen
+sleeping ground. It is strange also how a rock with a few handfuls of
+grass makes a fairly decent pillow.
+
+Near here there are numerous orange groves lying in the shelter of the
+kopjes. Yesterday I had charge of a Dutchman who wanted to go through
+the Nek on business, and on the off chance I went provided with a
+nosebag. I came across a magnificent orange grove, owned, as it proved,
+by an Englishman who had been, he told me, out here for twenty-five
+years. This Englishman sent one of his sons off to fill my bag with the
+best oranges, and another to fill my red handkerchief with mealie meal
+to make porridge with. The red-handkerchief-with-white-spots alluded to
+above is the last "wipe" I have left me out of a large number, and has
+been invaluable to me on numerous occasions for carrying various
+articles, usually edible. On the whole, the time I have spent on this
+outpost has been rather enjoyable. Having only one officer with us, and
+being a reasonable distance from headquarters, we have been spared a
+great deal of the "messing about" which seems to be the special fate of
+the Imperial Yeomen. When you get your British Yeomen home again, many a
+tale of incompetent officers and needless hardships will be retailed,
+unless I am much in error. Here is apparently a small fact, which may
+help to show _why_ the Yeoman has often fared worse than his regular
+brother. The quartermaster-sergeant of a certain I.Y. company I know of,
+is, like most others, a man absolutely unaccustomed to and unqualified
+for the job. Added to this, the disposition of the man is of such a
+nervous nature that he is afraid to try and work on his own initiative,
+and consequently when requisitioning for his company's rations, he not
+only fails to do what his regular brother non.-com. would do, viz.: get
+as much as he can for his company, but fails often to requisition or
+obtain their bare allowance. Once I met and asked this man if he had
+drawn any jam for his company's tea, and his sleepily-drawled reply was,
+"No-o, we were entitled to it, but I forgot to draw it." He forgot, and
+a hundred hungry men were dependent on the energy of such a man. Compare
+this amateur quartermaster-sergeant to the professional one, and you can
+plainly see one way in which Thomas Atkins scores over his Yeoman
+brother. Again, the two cooks of the same company were admittedly the
+slackest and dirtiest men of the lot (the only qualification necessary
+for a Yeomanry cook is the capability to boil water, and some seldom
+achieve records even in doing that). Thanks to their dirtiness, the
+thirsty troopers more often than not, had their tea or coffee spoilt
+owing to the greasy state of the dixies (cooking pots), which had not
+been cleaned after boiling the trek ox stew in them.
+
+I am almost baking on the top of this kopje, as I sit with my back
+against a rock and indite these little records. It seems hard to imagine
+that early every morning muffled-up, shivering forms wait anxiously for
+King Sol to stick his dear, red, blushing face above yonder range of
+kopjes to warm us with his genial presence. Yesterday we had some of
+Plumer's men in our little camp. They were rattling good fellows, and
+had had a very hot time. They assured us that when they entered
+Mafeking, so tired and gaunt were they, owing to their living on short
+commons for so long, that any stranger might well have mistaken them for
+the relieved garrison, and the garrison for the relieving force. They
+also said the fellows there did not look half so bad as one would have
+imagined, though they had eaten nearly every horse and mule in the
+place. The idea which seemed general, that Plumer had a big force with
+him, was very amusing to them, considering they actually only numbered a
+few hundreds, and had, I think they said, two old muzzle-loading guns
+only with them. Having been enlisted a month before the war, they are
+the oldest Volunteer Force out here.
+
+
+THE MAILS ARRIVE.
+
+                                        NEAR THE RACECOURSE,
+                                          PRETORIA.
+                                           _Sunday, July 8th._
+
+Back at the Racecourse, Pretoria. The excitement of Friday has not worn
+away yet. I hardly know how to describe it, especially as I must be
+brief, having such a lot of correspondence to get through. The men who
+relieved us on Friday afternoon said they had good news, and then gave
+it to us in these magic words: "_The mails are in!_" "_Thirteen bags!_"
+At first I could hardly believe or grasp it. The mails were in! I never
+expected to see a letter again. The other companies had been receiving
+their's for the last fortnight or more, but our whereabouts seemed
+unknown to the postal authorities. At last, however, we had got them. We
+had not had a word from our other world for over two months. It seemed
+over two years. The men who relieved us had come away without their's,
+but before we left for camp an officer, Mr. Cory, with bulging
+saddle-bags rode up, and they had them. We went back in the mule-waggon,
+and did not half exhort the nigger drivers to hurry, you can be sure.
+"Hi, hi! Hi-yah!! Tah!!! Nurr! _Crack-crack!!_ Hamba!! Hi-yah!!!" &c. At
+last the ten miles were covered and our camp reached. Out of the waggon
+we leaped, and "Where are my letters" was the cry. Oh, the thrilling
+excitement of seeing the sergeant diving his hand into a sack and
+producing letters, papers and parcels galore. "Trooper Wilson--Wilson,
+Corporal Finnigan, Lance-Corporal Ross," and a big, dirty paw pounces on
+an envelope addressed by a well-known hand. Then another, and once again
+a familiar hand is recognised, then another and another. In all I had
+over a score of letters and about a dozen or more papers, so you can
+guess I have my work before me in answering them. Of course, some have
+been lost, especially the papers. The earliest date was April 21st, and
+the latest June 8th. Absolute peace and goodwill toward men reigned in
+our camp that night. We have all been like so many children at
+Christmas-time, asking one another "How many did you get?" And then on
+hearing the reply, probably boastfully saying, "Oh! I got more than
+you," and so on. It seems so pleasant to be in touch with one's world
+again. All the next day the fellows were poring over their letters and
+ever and anon, unable to suppress themselves one would be annoyed by
+"Ha! ha!! I say, just hear what my young sister says," or "my kiddie
+brother," or some such being, then an uninteresting (to other men)
+extract would follow.
+
+
+THE NITRAL'S NEK DISASTER.
+
+                                        HOREN'S NEK,
+                                          NEAR PRETORIA.
+                                           _Wednesday, July 11th, 1900._
+
+  (More _kopje?_)
+
+Here I am again on the outlying picket racket, and renewing my studies
+of kopjes. I am now up on them every day as well as night. When we
+arrived here last night, the party we relieved told us that a Russian
+doctor's house, about five miles out, had been raided and sacked by
+Boers, and no waggons were being allowed through the Nek, as the enemy
+were evidently waiting to catch any they could, and take them on to
+their commandos. Since daybreak a big action has been in progress. From
+the west heavy guns have been banging, and the fainter sound of volleys
+and pom-poming have reached our ears as we lay drowsily smoking,
+writing, reading and (one of us) watching on this, our observation post.
+In the middle of a letter to a friend a short while ago, a machine gun,
+apparently very close, rapped out its angry message, rat-tat-tat-tat!
+which startled us immensely. The whish-sh-sh of the bullets also was
+undoubtedly near, but as smokeless powder has usurped the place of
+villainous saltpetre, we failed to locate the gun, which has fired
+several times since.
+
+The distant firing still continues, and as Baden-Powell is (or was) in
+that direction, I should imagine he is in action. It seems curious that
+though we are here and may at any minute be involved in the affair, yet
+you at home will know all about it, and we here little or nothing. But
+so it is. Huge vultures, loathsome black and white birds, keep flying
+past us from the west. Now and again, some of them pause and circle
+slowly over us, as if to ascertain whether we are dead or not. A small
+piece of the kopje jerked at them by the most energetic member of our
+party, usually assures them of the negative, and with a few flaps of
+their wings they go whirring on. Ugh! I forgot to mention for the
+edification of any of our lady friends that at night rats emerge from
+beneath the various rocks and sportively run over one's recumbent form.
+So, for guarding kopjes, no Amazons need apply.
+
+[Illustration: The Mealie + Bad Fatigue (What the Patriot did not
+altogether take into his reckoning.)]
+
+Here, as "I laye a thynkynge" (to quote dear old Ingoldsby), it occurs
+to me that we of the Imperial Yeomanry are, in many respects, far wiser,
+I don't say better, men than we were six months, or even less, ago. To
+commence with, we know Mr. Thomas Atkins far better than we did. Now we
+know, and can tell our world on the best authority (_our own_) that he
+is the best of comrades, many of us having experienced his hospitality
+when in sore straits. That he will do anything and go anywhere we are
+certain. As regards ourselves, we have learnt to appreciate a piece of
+bread and a drink of water at its true worth, a thing probably none or
+few of us had done before--"bread and water" being usually regarded as a
+refreshment for the worst of gaolbirds only. And, finally, to sum our
+acquirements up roughly, we have learnt to shift for ourselves under any
+circumstances. We are hewers of wood, drawers of water, cooks (though,
+may be, not very good ones, our resources having been limited), beasts
+of burden (fatigues), and exponents of many other hitherto unknown
+accomplishments. Allusion to fatigues reminds me of that known as "wood
+fatigue." It has been a usual jest of those in command to halt and
+bivouac us for the night at some place where there is no wood
+procurable, and then send us out _to get it_. Another of their little
+jokes has been to serve each man with his raw meat for him to cook when
+wood has been unobtainable. One really great result of this war already
+is the dearth of wood wherever the troops have been. All along the line
+of march, and especially where there have been halts, the wooden posts
+used in the construction of the various wire fencings have been chopped
+down or pulled up bodily and taken away, deserted houses have been
+denuded of all the woodwork they contained--the tin buildings collapsing
+in consequence. It was only a short time ago that an elderly
+non-combatant complained to me when I asked if he had any wood, "No,
+they haf take my garten fence, my best trees, and yestertay dey haf go
+into my Kaffir's house and commence to pull down der wood in der roof!"
+I am sure it is a fortunate thing that the telegraph posts are of iron.
+Were they wooden ones I fear stress of circumstances would have been
+responsible for innumerable suspensions in the telegraphic service. A
+scout has just been in down below with the information that we shall be
+attacked to-night or early to-morrow morning. The machine gun which was
+fired a short while ago, was one of our Colt guns at the entrance to the
+Nek, getting the range of a kopje opposite. These scouts (I refer to the
+few attached to us) are really wonderful (the battalion sergeant-major
+invariably alludes to them as "those d----d scouts"). Their information
+is always startling and mostly unreliable--still it is interesting and
+usually affords us vast entertainment. The scouts referred to are
+Afrikanders, and really chosen because they know Dutch and Kaffir. The
+fellows will call them interpreters, and they don't like it. On Monday I
+went into Pretoria to take the man of ours, who was so nearly done for
+in an ambush near Hatherly last month, his kit. He is now well enough to
+go home. He is a curious, good-natured old fellow, and in his account of
+the affair amused me not a little. After he had been hit and lain on the
+ground some time, the Boers cautiously advanced from their cover, and
+standing on a bank near where he laid, fired a few shots in the
+direction of his long-since departed comrades and then called out to
+him, "Hands up!" His reply, as he told me, struck me as quaint and
+natural, "'Ow can I 'old my 'ands up?" And seeing the reasonableness of
+his remark, they took his water bottle and left him where our surgeon
+found him. From Pretoria I have acquired quite a number of books,
+including half-a-dozen of Stevenson's. At present I am re-reading his
+"Inland Voyage."
+
+                                        _Thursday, July 12th._
+
+We were not attacked last night, although expectation ran high. We had
+about a thousand rounds of ammunition between the six of us, and at two
+o'clock in the morning had the various posts strengthened by a party of
+Burma Mounted Infantry (a composite corps from Burma, of Durham, Essex
+and West Riding Tommies). Fifteen of these were added to our small
+number, and between us occupied four sangars at the most suitable parts
+of the kopje. Had we been attacked, we ought to have given a good
+account of ourselves, as it was a lovely moonlight night. Poor Tommy
+Atkins! You should have heard some of our reinforcements express
+themselves on the social, military, political and geographical phases of
+the situation. They had been rushed up from Kroonstad, and, after
+various vicissitudes, had been despatched to us--without rations, of
+course. This one wished that the By'r Lady war was over By'r Lady soon;
+and his next cold, hungry, tired comrade agreed with him emphatically,
+and consigned the whole By'r Lady country to a sort of perpetual
+Brock's Benefit; also the By'r Lady army, and their By'r Lady military
+pastors and masters, and so on. After Burma they found this country
+cold, especially the nights, and with them the British soldier's wish to
+get back to Mandalay, as expressed in the song, was a veritable fact. As
+usual, their experiences were worth listening to. Amongst other things,
+coming up from Kroonstad, they had found the burnt remains of the mails
+destroyed by some of De Wet's minions a little while ago (some of mine
+were there, I know), and had amused themselves by reading the various
+scraps. Some of these, they told me, were very pathetic. In one, for
+instance, a poor old woman had apparently sent her son a packet of
+chocolate, bought with her last shilling, (she was just going into the
+Workhouse), and she hoped that it would taste as sweet as if she had
+paid a sovereign for it. Had they had any mails? No, not since they had
+been here. They thought all their people must be dead, and "it does
+cheer one up to get a letter." In Burma they always give a cheer when
+the English mail comes in. I gave four of them some pieces of stale
+bread, a handful of moist sugar, and four oranges; while another of ours
+gave the others some bread and the remains of a tin of potted bloater.
+The latest news, which I believe is quite authentic, is that the
+remnants of the Dorset, Somerset, Devon and Sussex Yeomanry, about
+seventy in number, are to be remounted and attached to the 18th Hussars.
+This looks like more marching. I have bought, and intend bringing home
+with me, a few sets of the surcharged Transvaal stamps. I am doing this
+in a self-defensive way; my reason being that among my friends and
+acquaintances in the dear homeland I number certain strange beings
+commonly known in earlier and ruder days as stamp collectors, but now
+politely known and mysteriously designated _philatelists_. Now I know
+for a fact that these persons will, on first meeting me, demand at once,
+"Have you brought any sets of surcharged Transvaal stamps back?" and if
+I answer "Nay," what will they think of me? All the vicissitudes of the
+past few months, my travellings by land and water, my fastings and
+various little privations and experiences, will have been stupidly borne
+for naught in their opinion. And why? Because I have not returned laden
+with Transvaal stamps.
+
+                                        PRETORIA.
+                                          _Friday, July 13th._
+
+Back in camp again. At sunset, yesterday, when we came down from the
+observation post to get a little tea, preparatory to occupying the kopje
+we had been guarding at night, we found everybody on the move, and were
+ordered to mount and clear at once. This meant rushing up to the kopje,
+getting our blankets and other impedimenta, and down again, flinging
+them on the first horse (already saddled), and dashing away, orders
+having been given to abandon the post, as the Boers were in strong
+numbers, and between us and the town sniping. A staff-officer had told
+our captain that he was in charge of the valley, and wanted it to be a
+happy valley. We being a source of anxiety, he requested us to withdraw.
+I fear it had not proved a happy valley for the Lincolns and Greys, who
+were at Nitral's Nek, some eight miles to westward of us, and had been
+attacked and suffered badly in the morning. (The explanation of the
+heavy firing already alluded to.) Near the town we came on a broken-down
+ambulance waggon in a donga, out of which the wounded were being
+assisted as well as the circumstances permitted. Close by, on the
+ground, was something under a blanket, which we nearly rode over. A man
+close by, lighting his pipe, revealed it to us. It was one poor fellow
+who had died on the way. Further on, we came on numerous pickets and
+bivouacked troops, and men of the Lincolns and Greys at frequent
+intervals, asking anxiously where the ambulance waggons were, and if any
+of their fellows were in them. On arriving here we found our horse lines
+full of remounts, which looked like business. We join Mahon's Brigade on
+Sunday, so we are very busy looking out and cleaning up saddlery and
+such like.
+
+Well, I do not feel in a letter-writing mood this morning, so shall as
+far as possible arrange my kit and possessions for the next move on the
+board, on which this poor Yeoman is a humble pawn. I have just finished
+the "Inland Voyage," which you may remember concludes thus, in the final
+chapter, "Back to the World":--
+
+"Now we were to return like the voyager in the play, and see what
+re-arrangements fortune had perfected the while in our surroundings;
+what surprises stood ready made for us at home; and whither and how far
+the world had voyaged in our absence. You may paddle all day long; but
+it is when you come back at nightfall, and look in at the familiar room,
+that you find Love or Death awaiting you beside the stove; and the most
+beautiful adventures are not those we go to seek."
+
+Good, isn't it?
+
+
+
+
+WITH MAHON.
+
+
+A GENERAL ADVANCE TO BALMORAL AND BACK.
+
+                                        DASSPOORT,
+                                          OUTSIDE PRETORIA.
+                                           _Tuesday, July 31st._
+
+"Good morning! Have you used Pears' soap?" No, nor any other for about a
+fortnight, but in a few minutes I am going to have a most luxurious
+shave and bath in a tin teacup. As you can see by the above, we are all
+back at this historic town again after a very warm fortnight of marching
+and fighting under General Mahon. We marched through the town past
+Roberts yesterday, and are now camped awaiting remounts, in order to
+proceed with the game in some other and unknown direction. I have not
+much time for correspondence, but will do my best to give a little
+sketch of some of our doings. To begin with, on Saturday, July 14th, the
+remnants of the Dorset, Devon, Somerset and Sussex Yeomanry were formed
+into a composite squadron[3] of three troops under Captain Sir Elliot
+Lees, M.P., and served with fresh mounts--Argentines. Of course, I got a
+lovely beast, a black horse, which would not permit anyone to place a
+bit in his mouth under any circumstances. It generally takes our
+sergeant-major, farrier-sergeant, an officer's groom, a corporal and
+myself about an hour to get the aforesaid bit properly fixed. When I try
+to fix it myself with the assistance of a comrade, the performance
+usually concludes by tying him to a wheel of our ox waggon, and then,
+after many struggles, I manage to achieve my object all sublime (though
+there is not much sublimity about it). Not wanting opprobrious epithets,
+my steed remained nameless for the first week. I casually thought of
+calling him "Black Bess," but "he" is not a mare, and I thought it
+would be inappropriate. At length I struck what I consider a good name.
+_Bete Noire_, my _bete noire_, and so I called him, and as he is by no
+means averse to eating through his head rope when picketed, I find that
+the curtailment to "gnaw" is satisfactory enough as far as names go. Now
+you know something about my friend the horse, so to proceed. We moved
+out of our old camp on the Saturday afternoon in question, through
+Pretoria to another on the other side, where we joined General Mahon's
+crowd, amongst whom was the Imperial Light Horse, Australians, Lumsden's
+Horse, New Zealanders, "M" Battery R.H.A., and a squadron or so of the
+18th Hussars, sometimes known as "Kruger's Own," being the captured
+warriors of Elandslaagte. On Sunday we had some good luck in the ration
+line, the 72nd and 79th Squadrons of I.Y., the Roughriders, had just
+come up and joined us, and had been served with innumerable delicacies,
+with which they did not know what to do, as they had orders that they
+could only take a certain quantity with them. No sooner did we hear of
+their embarrassment than, as the wolf swept down on the fold, we swept
+down upon them, and most sympathetically relieved them of tins of
+condensed milk, jams, and such like, and what we could not eat we
+managed to carry away with us for another day. On Monday our general
+advance commenced. It was a grand sight, after marching a few miles, to
+come on French's camp and see the lancers, mounted infantry and guns
+moving out in the early morning. A few miles on and our friend the enemy
+opened fire on us, or, rather, on a kopje on which we had just placed a
+4.7. They sent a beautiful shot from their "Long Tom," which pitched
+within a few yards of where the gun had just been placed and close by
+Generals French and Mahon. We Mounted Infantry remained behind the kopje
+and dozed and lunched while desultory shells now and again whizzed over
+us. Beyond this, nothing occurred worth mentioning. On Tuesday morning
+we went out a few miles and took up a position to prevent the Boers
+retreating in our direction. We had to collect stones and form miniature
+sangars. We waited there nearly all day, during which I perused "In
+Memoriam," and posed for a libellous sketch done by our troop officer,
+entitled "An Alert Vedette." The laughter which this occasioned caused
+me to arise out of curiosity and ask to see the pictorial effort. The
+subject represented was a tramp-like being asleep behind three or four
+little stones. We returned in the evening to our camp and I had charge
+of the stable guard, an every three or four night occurrence. The next
+day--Wednesday, the 18th--we proceeded some miles further on, getting
+well into the bush country. I do not know the name of the place we
+halted at for the night; it was very picturesque but had far too many
+kopjes (which required picketing). The next day we were off again
+through the bush. _Apropos_ of the bush, it appears to me that every
+tree and shrub in this land of promise produces thorns. On Friday, the
+20th, we came in touch with the enemy. We were advancing in extended
+order towards an innocent-looking kopje, had got close up to it, and
+had just dismounted, when--rap! went a Mauser. Then another, and rap,
+rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, and the whole show started. As there was
+absolutely no cover to hand, we got the order to mount and clear, which
+order was very promptly executed by all save one. The reports of the
+Mausers and the whistling buzz of the bullets startled my noble steed,
+_Bete Noire_, and after several ineffectual efforts to mount the brute,
+he broke away from me, and I, tripping over a mound as the reins slipped
+out of my hands, fell sprawling on my face. This, I believe, caused some
+of our fellows to think I was hit. Of course, after hurling a choice
+malediction after my horse, I was quickly on my feet and doubling after
+the rest of the "Boys of the Bulldog Breed." An officer of the Dorsets,
+Captain Kinderslie, seeing my plight, rode up amid the whistling bullets
+and insisted on my holding his hand and running by the side of his
+horse, till we came to Sergeant-Major Hunt, who had caught and was
+holding _Bete Noire_. Naturally, the reins were entangled in his
+forelegs, but I soon got them clear and mounted. Away flew my beautiful
+Argentine, away like the wind, every whistling, buzzing bullet seeming
+to help increase his bounds. At last we all got out of range, re-formed,
+dismounted, and advanced to attack. Soon the order was changed, and we
+mounted again and rode to flank the Boers, who had apparently left their
+first position. We reached a neighbouring kopje and halted at the base.
+An officer rode up, and I overheard him say that it would be advisable
+to send a few men in such and such a direction to find out, _with as
+small a loss as possible_, the position and strength of the enemy. Here
+it may not be out of place to mention that acting as scouts and advance
+parties, and drawing the fire of the enemy, has been the vocation of the
+Imperial Yeomanry, also of the Colonial Mounted Troops. Then four of us
+were ordered to ride slowly up the kopje, which was a wooded and very
+rocky one, and find out if any of the enemy were there. This we did. It
+is a peculiar feeling, not devoid of excitement, doing this sort of
+thing, for our horses made much noise and very slow progress over the
+boulders and rocks, and the possibility of a Brother Boer being behind
+any of the stones in front of one with a gun, of course made one
+reflect on the utter impossibility of shooting him or his friends, or of
+beating a retreat. Still, the knowledge that the report of his Mauser
+would warn one's comrades below was eminently satisfactory. There were
+no Boers there, or I should hardly be inditing this letter. They had
+built sangars and left them. We were posted on this kopje for the rest
+of the day, and at night upon another.
+
+         [Footnote 3: From the first the mixture of cavalry and
+         infantry terms used in connection with the I.Y. has been most
+         amusing. As our officers from this date invariably referred
+         to us in cavalry terms, the words "squadron," "troop," etc.,
+         will be used to the end of the volume.]
+
+[Illustration: "Stable Guard! There's a horse loose!"]
+
+Our artillery had shelled them during the afternoon, and they did not
+trouble us again. That night we were not allowed to have any fires and
+our position being inaccessible to the waggons, we had no hot coffee or
+tea, which by the way, is one, if not the greatest, of our treats--our
+milkless and occasionally sugarless evening and morning coffee or tea.
+
+On Saturday we advanced with the main body through a good deal of bush
+country. Sunday was one of the hardest days we had during our little
+fortnight's outing. We started early as advance to Ian Hamilton's
+Division, and during the day covered a terrific amount of ground, got
+well peppered on several occasions, once, during the afternoon, pushing
+on rather too close to the enemy, the retreating Boers gave us some warm
+rifle fire and then opened on us with a couple of field guns, and we had
+to clear. The firing was excellent. A few of us got into a bunch, and a
+shell whirred over our heads and struck the ground only a few yards away
+on our right. That day several men were killed and wounded, but none of
+our crowd, though one got a bullet in his rear pack, another had his
+bandolier struck, and another his hand grazed. The annoying part of our
+work was that we were repeatedly sniped at, but never had a chance to
+retaliate, even when we saw the enemy, as we did on several occasions.
+Certainly once we prepared a pretty little surprise for them in the way
+of an ambush formed of our troop dismounted, but they did not come.
+However, two or three of our fellows saw somebody by a Kaffir kraal, and
+thinking it was a Boer, opened fire, and whoever it was dropped. It
+proved only Kaffirs were there, and two men in our troop are still
+quarrelling as to which bagged the inoffensive nigger, if bagged he was.
+
+Monday, the eighth day out, the entire force rested, which means in
+plain English that they washed, mended their clothes and performed
+other domestic duties. Like the man in "The Mikado," I am a thing of
+shreds and patches, though there is not much dreamy lullaby for me,
+or any of us. The next day we marched on without opposition to
+Bronkhorst Spruit, of fateful memory. We reached there at mid-day,
+and camped, as we had to wait for our convoy to come up. As soon as
+we had got our lines down we went to get wood--we like to have our
+own fires when we can. Corrugated iron buildings there were, but
+untenanted. Bronkhorst Spruit, of hated memory, was a deserted
+village. Smash!--bang!--crash!--crack! "Far flashed the red
+artillery," aye? No, it is merely Mr. Thomas Atkins and his brethren
+of the Colonies and Imperial Yeomanry, who are overcoming
+difficulties in the wood fatigue line. Considering that the average
+Transvaal house is constructed with wood and corrugated iron, it can
+be easily understood that neither its erection or demolition takes
+much time. "So mind yer eye, there--crash!--bang! That door belongs
+to the Sussex! Smash! Look out, the roof's coming down," etc.
+
+The convoy came in during the night, so we were up and off at an early
+hour, bound for Balmoral, the next station on the line towards
+Middelburg. The country we had to traverse was very rough, and on our
+left were ranges of suspicious-looking kopjes. Soon after we started my
+horse funked a narrow dyke at about half-a-dozen places, and finally, on
+my insisting and exhorting him with my one remaining spur, plunged
+sideways in at the deepest part. He came out first, soaked. I followed
+promptly, wet to the waist (nice black water and mud); his oats and my
+day's biscuits, which were in his nosebag, were spoilt; and my feelings
+towards him none of the best. Balmoral was reached at about noon. There,
+I regret to state, we did not have Queen's weather. Soon after we
+arrived clouds began to gather, and thoughtful men commenced carrying up
+sheets of corrugated iron, of which there was a great quantity near the
+station, and hastily constructing temporary shelters. Ours was a poor
+concern, and as I had to wander about in the rain some time before I
+turned in, I was sopping wet, and of course passed the night so. Our
+waggon got stuck in a drift, as usual, and so we went coffee-less that
+night. The next day we heard that during the night an officer and three
+men of the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders had died from exposure to
+the severe weather. On that march from Bronkhorst Spruit to Balmoral we
+lost hundreds of mules, oxen and horses. They simply strewed the
+roadsides all the way. On Friday, the 27th, we returned to Bronkhorst
+Spruit, _en route_ for Pretoria. Leaving Bronkhorst Spruit for
+Pienaarspoort the next morning, we passed the graves of the massacred
+94th (Connaught Rangers). First we passed three walled-in enclosures,
+which the officers rode up to and looked over. They were the graves of
+the rear guard. Then we came to a larger one, which contained the main
+body. The Connaughts were marching with us; whatever their feelings
+were, they must have felt a grim satisfaction in the knowledge that
+"they came again." Yesterday (Monday, July 30th,) we marched into
+Pretoria, past Lord Roberts, and on through the town to our present
+camp, which we leave at four to-morrow morning with fresh horses. We
+heard as we went through that one of our Sussex fellows, who was down
+with enteric when we left, had since succumbed. Poor fellow! It may be
+merely sentiment, but I must say the idea of being buried out here is
+somewhat repugnant to me. His bereaved relatives and friends cannot have
+the comforting feelings of Tennyson, expressed "In Memoriam."
+
+  "'Tis well; 'tis something; we may stand
+      Where he in English earth is laid,
+      And from his ashes may be made
+   The violet of his native land.
+   'Tis little; but it looks in truth
+      As if the quiet bones were blest
+      Among familiar names to rest,
+   And in the places of his youth."
+
+
+TO RUSTENBURG.
+
+                                        CAMP,
+                                          TWO MARCHES WEST OF PRETORIA.
+                                           _Wednesday, August 8th, 1900._
+
+  "Oh, darkies, how de heart grows weary,
+   Far from de ole folks at home."
+
+There goes somebody again! It is always occurring, either vocally or
+instrumentally; but to start now, when I want to pull myself together
+and give a further account of the doings of the remnants of what was
+once the Sussex (69th) Squadron of Imperial Yeomanry, and their comrades
+of the West Countrie, is annoying beyond all expression. To commence, I
+must really trace out for you our bewildering descent, or ascent, to our
+present state, and then you will thoroughly understand why, in all
+probability, the papers have been silent as to the doings and
+whereabouts of the 69th Squadron of Imperial Yeomanry. At Maitland we
+belonged to the 14th Battalion of Yeomanry, under Colonel Brookfield,
+M.P. Leaving that salubrious but sandy locality, we travelled on our
+very own, by rail and road, till we joined Roberts at the Klip River,
+and for a few days were his bodyguard. At Johannesburg we joined the 7th
+Battalion of Yeomanry, under Colonel Helyar, of whose murder, in July,
+at a Boer's house not far from Pretoria, you must have read. Later on,
+men from this battalion having entered the Police and civil berths,
+those of us who were left were banded together and formed into one
+squadron under Sir Elliot Lees, M.P. This was composed of three weak
+troops--Dorset, Devon and Sussex, the latter troop containing
+half-a-dozen Somerset men. As such we left Pretoria, and went east as
+far as Balmoral. On our return to Pretoria, our weak horses and sick men
+being weeded out, we went west nearly as far as Rustenburg, as one
+_troop_, composed of Sussex, Devon, and Dorset men, and attached to the
+Fife Light Horse.[4] As I write, we are returning in the direction of
+Pretoria. And now, if you have skipped the foregoing I will proceed to
+give you as brief an account as possible of our adventures since leaving
+Pretoria a week ago (Wednesday, August 1st).
+
+         [Footnote 4: This fine squadron of Yeomanry, under Captain
+         Hodge, had also joined Mahon, at Pretoria, on July 16th.]
+
+On that day, forming No. 3 Troop of the Fife Light Horse, we marched out
+of Dasspoort and proceeding due west, parallel with the Magaliesberg,
+quickly got in touch with the enemy, under Delarey, whom we slowly drove
+before us. Soon we came upon Horen's Nek, and the commencement of farms
+and orange groves. As we passed the first grove, with the glowing
+oranges tantalising us in a most aggravating manner, we cast longing
+eyes at them, but hastened on after the unfraternal Boer. The oranges
+were not for us--then. A little further on the fighting became warm, and
+we galloped up; then, "Halt! for dismounted service!" and the reins of
+three horses are thrown at me, or thrust into my hands by their riders,
+who double out to the left and proceed to participate in the fun of the
+firing line. Considering that I had only once (at Shorncliffe) acted as
+No. 3, you can picture to yourself the sort of entertainment which
+followed. The intelligent Argentines manoeuvred round me like performing
+horses doing the quadrilles or an Old English Maypole dance, while with
+the reins we made cat's-cradles, and Gordian knots. That idiot, Mark
+Tapley, would indeed have envied my lot, and have been welcome to it.
+The row made by the firing was terrific, for pom-poms and artillery were
+joining in, and a fair amount of bullets came by us with the led horses.
+Suddenly our fellows came doubling back, and with a sigh of relief I
+surrendered their horses to them. Then our troop-officer, Captain
+Kinderslie, gave us the order, "Fours, right--Gallop!" and off we went
+to turn their right flank. Our course lay right across the open, and as
+soon as the enemy saw our move they poured their fire in as hot as they
+could. Round to their right we flew, with the bullets whistling by, and
+striking the earth before and behind us, but divil a man did they hit,
+though the air seemed thick with them. At last our exhilarating gallop
+was finished, and as our small party advanced to the attack, all they
+saw was the last few Boers scuttling off for dear life. Colonel Pilcher,
+who was with Mahon, sent round and thanked our little troop for this
+service.
+
+After this we returned to an orange grove, near which our force was
+encamped. _That night we had oranges._
+
+The next day we were rear guard and, passing through a fat land,
+abounding with oranges, tangerines, citrons, lemons, tobacco and good
+water, not to forget porkers, fowls, ducks, and the like, "did ourselves
+proud," to resort to the vernacular. That night we had a huge veldt
+fire, and the whole camp had to turn out with blankets to fight it.
+Fortunately a well-beaten track separated the blazing veldt from us, and
+the wind blew it beyond, or we could hardly have made a successful stand
+against the flames, some being quite a dozen feet in height. Allusion to
+veldt fires reminds me that the last time I had to turn out to fight
+one was near Johannesburg, and the man who displayed most energy in
+smiting the flames with his blanket, and who came away from the charred
+veldt with blackened face and hands, was our second in command, the Duke
+of Norfolk.
+
+On Friday we continued our advance, and crossed the Crocodile River.
+This day we saw nothing of the enemy. Our horses have done well in the
+way of forage lately. Sometimes we get bundles of oat hay out of the
+barns we visit _en route_, and strap them, with armfuls of green oats
+pulled from the fields, fore and aft of our saddles, till we look like
+fonts at harvest festivals. Thus equipped, we would form good subjects
+for a picture called "The Harvest Home." Yet, in spite of all the
+feeding they have been getting, our horses are all nearly done up.
+
+Our present troop officer is great on the _commandeer_, and very
+popular. However, the other day he gave us a severe address on parade
+about looting, which he wound up as follows:--"Of course, I don't object
+to your taking the necessaries of life, such as oranges, fowls, ducks,
+mealie flour, or the like, but (sternly) any indiscriminate looting I
+shall regard as a crime."
+
+
+AMBUSHED.
+
+On Sunday (August 5th), while the folks at home were preparing for the
+Bank Holiday, we Yeomen of Sussex, Somerset, Dorset, Devon and Fife,
+with our friends "The Roughs," were continuing to advance west in the
+direction of Rustenburg. This day we passed through some of the best
+wooded country I have seen out here. The trees being quite large and at
+a distance very much like small oaks. At about mid-day we halted in
+front of Olifant's Nek, and our signallers tried to get into
+heliographic communication with the great "B.-P.," who was supposed to
+be in possession. At last, after several fruitless efforts, a dazzling
+dot in the pass appeared and commenced twinkling in response to ours.
+
+  "Twinkle, twinkle, helio,
+   What a lot of things you know."
+
+Soon we received the order to advance. Then we were halted, "files
+about," and galloping about a mile to the rear, were drawn up, and
+informed that a Boer laager had been reported under a small kopje of
+the Magaliesberg some distance east from the Nek, and we were to go and
+investigate the matter. The first three groups of our troop were sent
+out to locate it, I being in the centre one. We had some wretched ground
+to go over, and finally, without any signs of opposition, reached the
+small farms lying at the foot of the range of hills. There the left and
+centre group were stopped for some considerable time by a large barbed
+wire fence and, as none of us possessed any wire nippers, we finally had
+to go out of our way some distance in order to avoid it. I mention this
+trivial incident as illustrative of how some Yeomanry matters of
+equipment have been neglected. From my own knowledge, based on enquiry,
+I find that none of the non-commissioned officers or men of our squadron
+were provided with these very necessary implements--one or two happened
+to have private ones, and that is all. So much for that grumble. Now to
+resume. Having overcome the barb-wire difficulty, we continued our
+progress in the direction where we understood the laager was situated,
+convinced in our minds that of Boers there were none. _En route_ we
+called at the few houses in the neighbourhood and made slight
+investigations, with always the same result. There were women and heaps
+of children, but of men none. Of course, you know the game. The
+chivalrous Boer, having deposited his arms in Pretoria and taken the
+oath of neutrality, has rested himself, and is now out again on the war
+path, either from choice or through being commandeered. At last one of
+our scouts rode up and told us that our right-hand group had found the
+laager which had been evacuated. Riding through the trees, it was rather
+thickly wooded, we soon came across wandering cows, calves and oxen, and
+at length the laager at the foot of a small kopje. In it were the four
+men of our right group, cattle, horses, a few donkeys, and a couple of
+uneasy-looking niggers, who had evidently been left behind and in charge
+by the Boers. It was a fine position for a laager, and well hidden away.
+Several of us dismounted here and lighted our pipes while we watched the
+fine cattle we had got, and those with bad horses haggled as to who
+should possess the best of the Boer mounts, which were being held by the
+uncomfortable-looking Kaffirs. Presently through a donga on the left of
+the laager came the leading groups of the Fife Light Horse and soon the
+laager contained the first troop. I remounted my horse and--_rap!_ went
+a shot and over rolled a horse and rider (a Sussex sergeant) on my
+right; then into us rapped and cracked the rifles from the near kopje.
+There was only one thing to do, and that was to clear. Men and horses
+appeared to be tumbling over on all sides, _Bete Noire_ swerved and I
+fell off at the commencement of the fusillade. Arising, I doubled after
+the sergeant whose horse had been knocked over by the first shot. After
+going about a score of yards, I saw him dash into some bushes and
+brambles, and following, slipped and rolled down the side of a gully
+till I found myself scratched and torn sitting in a small rivulet at the
+bottom with my pipe still in my mouth and my rifle, the barrel of which
+was half choked with mud, in my hand. Looking round I saw two of our
+fellows who had led their horses down from the other side. The place
+could not have been improved on for cover, and the others falling in
+with my _j'y suis, j'y reste_ remark, we sat down on the moist earth and
+rocks and awaited developments, while the bullets whistled and buzzed
+through the trees over our heads. Soon a volley whizzed over us from our
+fellows who had succeeded in retiring and rallying behind a knoll some
+distance back. This went on for a time, and at length the firing ceased.
+A Fife man came up from lower down the gully; he had lost both horse and
+rifle. However, crawling higher up, he found the latter in some bushes.
+Presently a strange figure appeared, clad in khaki, with a dark blue
+handkerchief tied over his head, a stick in his hand and leading a
+horse. This proved to be another canny Scot. He had assumed this sort of
+disguise and managed to secure a horse from near the laager. He was
+rather apprehensive lest our own people should fire on him if they
+spotted him. As he told us, on our enquiring, that there were two more
+horses in the laager, though he advised us not to go out for them then,
+the Fife man and I emerged from the donga and with a wary eye on the
+treacherous kopjes entered the laager, which was only a score of yards
+from our place of concealment, and to my great delight, of the two
+horses quietly eating the forage there I recognised _Bete Noire_ as one.
+Having now obtained horses, we leisurely proceeded to camp, calling on
+the way at a few of the farmhouses and an orange grove we had passed on
+our advance to the laager. The Boers had evidently cleared, or they
+would have fired on us as we rode to the farms in full view of the
+kopjes all the way. I cannot say that the simple Boer women seemed
+pleased to see us when we rode up with smiling faces and helped
+ourselves (with their permission) to oranges and tangerines, while one
+good lady gave me a couple of eggs, which I enjoyed later for tea. Then
+gaily bidding them _Auf Wiedersehen_ we retraced our way and came to
+where the camp had been established. Arrived there, the stories we heard
+concerning the affair were, as you can imagine, marvellous. And, after
+all, what do you think the wily Boer bagged as the result of such a
+lovely death trap? Not a man. Half-a-dozen horses were shot, and I
+daresay some cattle. My rolled overcoat also had a rip suspiciously like
+a bullet mark. Once again Boer wiliness had been rendered ineffectual
+owing to execrable marksmanship. It seems like ingratitude to thus
+criticise their shooting, but it cannot go without comment.
+
+On Monday, the August Bank Holiday, we did not shift camp, and had the
+luxury of a late _reveille_ (6 a.m.), and opportunities for very
+necessary washes and shaves, and such domestic duties as repairing rents
+in our breeches and tunics, and a little laundry work. Some of your
+"gentlemen rovers abroad" are finding that sewing the tears in one's
+tunic is a far different and more difficult matter than sowing one's
+wild oats at home. Owing to having baked the back of one of my boots in
+drying it at a fire, after my fourth immersion in a bog, I have had
+rather a bad heel, but am easier in that vulnerable part now, having cut
+out the back of the boot.
+
+On Tuesday, B-P. very unwillingly evacuated Rustenburg, and we marched
+back in the direction of Pretoria.
+
+I don't think, in spite of my verbosity, I have made any particular or
+direct allusion to our friend, the mule, so here I will make slight
+amends. Alas, he lost the little reputation he possessed at Nicholson's
+Nek, but to give the mule his due he is a hard worker--he has to be--he
+is born in bondage and dies in bondage (there is no room out here for
+the R.S.P.C.A.), and the golden autumn of a hard-lived life is not for
+the likes of him. He does not appear to get much to eat, though he will
+eat anything, as I found to my cost one night when in charge of the
+stable guard. A friend had lent me two _Graphics_, which I left on my
+blanket for a few minutes while I went the rounds. On my return I found
+a mule contentedly eating one of them--I only just managed to save half
+of it. When in camp, the Cape Boys, in whose charge they are, usually
+tie some of them to the wheels of the waggons, ammunition and water
+carts, the remainder being left to wander tied together in threes and
+fours, reminding one for all the world of Bank Holiday festivallers
+arm-in-arm on the so-called joyous razzle dazzle.
+
+Out here we wandering humble builders of the Empire have no idea how the
+war is progressing, if progressing it is. Our noses are flat against the
+picture, so to speak, and, consequently, we practically see and know
+nothing; it is you good folks at home who have the panoramic view. Our
+cheerful pessimist expressed himself to this effect a few days ago.
+About forty or fifty years hence, travellers in this part of the world
+will come across bands of white-haired and silver-bearded men in strange
+garbs of ox and mule skin patches, and armed with obsolete weapons,
+wandering about in pursuit of phantasmal beings to be known in future
+legends as land Flying Dutchmen. Anyhow, give Private Thomas Atkins a
+good camp fire at night when the Army halts, round which he can
+comfortably sit and grumble about his rations, while he partakes of a
+well-cooked looted porker or fowl, and afterwards fills his pipe with
+the tobacco of the country, which he lights with an ember plucked from
+the burning, and talks of home, and the prospects, optimistic or
+pessimistic, of getting there some day, and at least, he is content. Oh,
+England, what have we not given up for thee this year, Cowes, Henley,
+the Derby, Ascot, Goodwood, the Royal Academy, the Paris Exhibition, the
+latest books and plays, all these and more--much more. And if we hadn't,
+what would we have done? Kicked ourselves, of course.
+
+  "Then here's to the Sons of the Widow,
+   Whenever, however they roam;
+   And all they desire, and if they require,
+   A speedy return to the home.
+   Poor beggars, they'll never see home!"
+
+
+HEAVY WORK FOR THE RECORDING ANGEL.
+
+                                        VAALBANK,
+                                          _Sunday, August 12th, 1900._
+
+I believe this place is called Vaalbank, though really I am by no means
+certain. Anyhow, it looks respectable to have some sort of address, so I
+will let it stand.
+
+Yesterday, at Commando Nek, we were rejoined by the rest of the
+Composite Squadron, and remounts were brought up from Pretoria (about
+300); on account of the latter I am glad that I did not commence this
+letter the same evening, for we Yeomanry had to lead them. The brutes
+were Hungarians and Argentines. Niggers had brought them from Pretoria,
+and then we had to take them on, while the men in need of horses toiled
+along on foot. Why they were not allotted on the day they were received
+is only accounted for by the fact of our forming part of a British Army.
+During the "telling-off" of our fellows to the various groups of sorry
+nags, a comrade known as "Ed'ard" and I loafed in rear of the squadron
+in hopes of coming last and finding no horses left. We did come last,
+but there being eleven horses over, poor Ed'ard had six and I five
+Argentines to lead, and the Recording Angel had a big job on.
+Half-a-dozen rapid type-writers on his staff would have failed to cope
+with the entries entailed by that day's work and discomfort. Some people
+boast that they can be led, but not driven. The boast of my Argentines
+was that they could be driven but not led. For about three hours I led,
+or tried to lead them, at the end of which time my right, or leading
+arm, was about four inches longer than my left, and once or twice quite
+six. This was when a ditch or some such obstacle had to be overcome. My
+own steed, having nobly negotiated it, two of the others would follow
+his excellent example, and then the remaining three would pause on the
+bank, irresolutely at first, and then quite determined not to "follow my
+lead," in fact to never "follow me," would pull back a bit. Then a
+lovely scramble would result, in which I would be hauled half-way back,
+horse and all, and my rifle, instead of remaining properly slung, would
+become excitable, and manage to hang round my neck or waist. Finally a
+fairy godmother, in the form of a dirty, unshaven Tommy Atkins of the
+line, would come to my assistance, and with a wave of his wand--I mean
+rifle--and a thrust with the butt, my troubles for the moment would be
+overcome. At last, with my right hand cut and sore, and a temper which
+would have set the Thames a-fire, I let go the leathern thong by which I
+had been endeavouring to lead them, and started driving them. Other
+fellows also commenced to do the same, and after the brutes we raced,
+inhaling dust, expectorating mud, and cursed by every transport officer.
+Happy men, without horses to look after, were looting fowls and porkers,
+for the district was a good one; but such was not for us luckless
+Yeomen. Even when we got into camp we had to stand for nearly two hours
+in the dark, looking after the brutes till some more Yeomanry, the
+Roughs, relieved us, I cannot help it--it's the twelfth, and I must
+_grouse_!
+
+[Illustration: A terrible reckoning! Binks (who has just had a row with
+a burly Sergeant and got an extra stable guard, and is also 'forit'):
+"By Heavens! Wait till I get home and meet him in civvies and he has no
+stripes to protect him!"]
+
+Listen to this! When at home in barracks, and on the transport, the
+orderly officer always went through the army routine of going round at
+meals and asking "Any complaints?" Now that we are campaigning, divil an
+officer asks if we have any complaints to make, or is in any way
+solicitous as to our welfare or wants. And the consequence is this: we
+are at the mercy of our quartermaster-sergeants, who are sometimes
+fools, and more often the other thing as far as we are concerned, and
+beings known by us as "the waggon crowd," _i.e._: the cooks, and divers
+other non-combatants. What they don't want, or dare not withhold, is
+given to the poor Yeoman, who has to march, fight, and do pickets and
+guards. The man who marches and fights is the worst paid and worst
+treated out here. This, it appears, is a way they have in the army. It
+is, however, distinctly amusing to hear the _common_ troopers
+proclaiming how they will get equal with their officers, especially the
+non-coms., when they meet them in the sweet by-and-bye as civilians.
+
+The night we stopped outside Pretoria before coming out this way, our
+curiosity was aroused by suddenly hearing three hearty British cheers
+from some lines not far from ours. On making an enquiry as to the cause
+of this outburst of feeling, we were informed that the battalion had
+just received the news that their adjutant, who was absent on leave, had
+been made a prisoner by the Boers. Of course, some officers, especially
+the Regular ones who have seen previous service, are decidedly popular,
+our present General--"Mickey" Mahon--being an instance. There is no gold
+lace or cocked hat about him. He is, in attire, probably the strangest
+figure in the campaign. Picture to yourself a square-built man of middle
+age, wearing an ordinary brown cap (not a service one), a khaki coat
+with an odd sleeve, breeches, and box-cloth gaiters, carrying a hooked
+cherrywood stick, and smoking a briar, and you have General Mahon.
+
+And now listen to this little story about him. A few days ago a Tommy
+was chasing a chicken near a farm on the line of march. Suddenly the
+cackling, fluttering, feathered one dashed in the direction of a
+plainly-dressed stranger. "Go it, mate; you've got 'un!" yelled the
+excited Tommy. Then, to his horror, he recognised the general, and,
+confused, tried to apologise. "Not at all," said the chief, and helped
+him to kill the bird. Then telling him if he liked he could take it to
+his colonel and say the general had helped him to kill it, he sauntered
+away.
+
+His favourite corps is the I.L.H., and he seems quite pained when they
+miss an opportunity of obtaining good loot, which, once or twice they
+have done, owing to a stringent order from someone else against it.
+
+Routine and red tape, though probably not so bad as "once upon a time,"
+are still rampant, and we Yeomanry get our full share of them, the
+Colonials being more exempt. When we are on the march it is always
+"dress up there" or back as the case may be, and the following extract
+from a comrade's diary can be regarded as absolutely veracious.
+
+"August 6th. On advance party again. Tried to look for Boers and lost my
+'dressing.' Severely reprimanded."
+
+It appears to me that our way for locating the enemy is absurdly simple.
+We advance in approved extended order, so many horses' lengths, not more
+nor less, if any Boers are about, and we get too close to them, they pot
+at us. Then we take cover, if not bowled over; and it is generally known
+that there are Boers about.
+
+This (Sunday) morning, I am writing a few lines during a halt--we passed
+various farms on our way, which is in the direction of Krugersdorp. We
+are in hopes of rounding up De Wet (don't laugh!) At one of these farms,
+as we passed, a regular old Rip Van Winkle Dopper Boer was seated by his
+door scowling at us, and a trooper who had evidently been sent to ask
+for arms presently received, and rode away with _a sword_. It was really
+most amusing, probably the dear old man had three Mausers under his
+floor boards, and perhaps a bathchair was to be found somewhere on the
+premises, in which he could be conveyed to the top of a kopje now and
+again, to enjoy the pleasure of sniping the _verdommte Rooineks_, or
+their convoy as it passed along.
+
+Monday, August 13th. On this day we made a reconnaissance in force, but
+had no fighting. In the evening we had to do an outlying picket on a
+near kopje, some long range and ineffective sniping going on as we took
+up our position at sunset. The waggon having been left behind (no
+unusual occurrence), we went tea-less to our night duty.
+
+Tuesday, August 14th. Off, without any coffee, on advance guard. As we
+moved out of camp, revolvers and rifles were banging in all directions.
+However, it was not sniping, but merely the usual killing of sick horses
+and mules. Along the road the defunct quadrupeds hummed dreadfully (if
+any tune, "The place where the old horse died").
+
+
+RELIEF OF ELAND'S RIVER GARRISON. JOIN IN THE GREAT DE WET HUNT.
+
+Wednesday, August 15th (in the vicinity of Eland's River). Another day
+without tea or coffee, and in a district lacking in wood and water. At
+about mid-day we came upon Kitchener, Methuen, and others with their
+respective forces. Colonel Hore's gallant Australians and Rhodesians had
+just been relieved. The various columns halted and camped here. That
+afternoon a couple of commandeered sheep were served out to our troop; I
+dressed one, and obtained the butcher's perquisites, viz.: the heart,
+liver and kidneys. On these, with the addition of a chop from a pig, at
+whose dying moments I was present, and a portion of an unfortunate duck,
+I made an excellent meal. That night was rather an uneasy one for me,
+for I had Eugene-Aram-like dreams in which relentless sheep chased me
+round farmhouses and barns into the arms of fierce ducks and avenging
+porkers. But _reveille_, and then daylight came at last, and peace for
+my burdened mind and chest.
+
+Thursday, August 16th. Off in the direction of Olifant's Nek. At noon we
+came in contact with the scouts of the enemy who were holding the Nek.
+After being under a heavy rifle fire, we retired to camp and waited for
+the morrow. Ian Hamilton arrived in the evening with his infantry and
+cow-guns.
+
+Friday, August 17th. We moved out early in anticipation of a big day,
+for amongst the various rumours was one to the effect that De Wet's
+laager was on the other side of the Nek, and Baden-Powell and Methuen
+were going to attack him from that quarter. Oh, the rumours about this
+slim individual, they are legion! Here are some of the hardy perennial
+order:
+
+  1. De Wet is captured at last.
+  2. De Wet is surrounded and cannot escape. (The modification brand.)
+  3. De Wet has escaped with eleven men.
+  4. De Wet has 4,000 men with him.
+  5. De Wet has only 300 men with him.
+  6. De Wet has heaps of stores and ammunition.
+  7. De Wet has no stores, etc.
+
+This is supposed to be the dry season, but it appears to me to be De
+Wet, and our "Little British Army which goes such a very long way"
+(quite true especially here) seems like the British Police, who always
+have a clue, and expect shortly to make an important arrest, but don't.
+We took up a position on a kopje opposite to the right of the Nek, and
+for a few hours had a rare easy time. Divesting ourselves of our tunics,
+belts, bandoliers and other top hamper, we lounged about in our
+shirt-sleeves, smoking and dozing, only rousing ourselves a bit later
+when the double-rapping reports of the Mausers over the way told us that
+our scouts were being fired on. Soon the R.H.A. came into action, and
+were quickly followed by the banging of the cow-guns. It was most
+interesting to see where the shells struck, and how soon the kopjes and
+Nek opposite became blackened, smoking rock and earth, and the spiteful
+Mausers ceased from troubling. Meanwhile, the infantry, Berks and A. and
+S. Highlanders, advanced and the Nek was ours, and the Boers, De Wet's
+rearguard--vamoosed. Then we all marched through the Nek, which was a
+wonderful position, and possible of being held after the manner of
+Thermopolae. Our Sussex farrier-sergeant was shot in the arm. Going
+through the Nek we passed three graves by the roadside--graves of Royal
+Fusiliers who had died of wounds and enteric during B.-P.'s occupation
+of the place a short time previous. A soldier's grave out here is a
+simple matter, a rude cross of wood made from a biscuit case, with a
+roughly-carved name, or perhaps merely a little pile of stones, and
+that is all, save that far away one heart at least is aching dully and
+finds but empty solace in the _pro patria_ sentiment. When one passes
+these silent reminders of the possibilities of war, it is impossible to
+suppress the thought "It might have been me!" But more often than not
+any such morbid reflections are effaced by the sight of a house and the
+chances of loot. Which reminds me that we ravaged with fire and sword a
+good deal in the vicinity of Rustenburg, numerous houses being set
+a-fire by authority--in most cases the reason being because the owner of
+the domicile had broken his oath of allegiance and was out again
+fighting us. We reached Rustenburg at about six o'clock, and had to go
+on outlying picket on a terribly-high kopje, known as Flag Staff Hill,
+at once. So just as it became dark--tired and tea-less, with overcoats
+and bundles of blankets--a little band of wearied, cussing Empire
+builders set out on their solitary vigil, with none of your
+"Won't-come-home-till-morning" jollity about them. Oh, that thrice, nay
+seventy-times-seven, execrated hill! Up it we stumbled with a compulsory
+Excelsior motto, staggering, perspiring profusely, with wrenched ankles,
+cut and sore feet, cussing when breath permitted, dropping exhausted,
+and resting now and again. Thus we ascended Flag Staff Hill. On the top
+we found strong sangars with shell-proof shelters, which had been built
+by the indefatigable Baden-Powell during his occupation of Rustenburg.
+That night passed at last.
+
+
+AFTER DE WET.
+
+Saturday, 18th August. We set off again in the direction of Pretoria,
+and unsaddled and formed our lines at about four, and were
+congratulating ourselves on getting camped so soon when the faint but
+unmistakable cry of "saddle up" was heard afar off, then nearer and
+nearer, till we got it. De Wet (thrice magic name) was not very far off,
+and we were to push on at once after him. So off we set on a forced
+night march, on which no lights were allowed, and mysterious halts
+occurred, when we flung ourselves down at our horses' feet on the dusty
+road and took snatches of sleep. Then a rumbling would be heard, and
+down the column would come the whisper "The guns are up"--probably some
+obstacle such as a drift or donga had delayed them--then forward. We
+halted at twelve and were up again at four. The day being Sunday we, as
+usual out here, rested not, but proceeded on the warpath. A few miles
+down the road a scout passed with a Boer prisoner (Hurrah! one Boer
+less!). Leaving the Pretoria road soon after daybreak, we made for some
+low-lying ranges of hills, known as the Zwart Kopjes, and after going
+forward a couple of miles our guns, M Battery, trotted smartly forward
+in line, halted, then like wasps cut off at the waists, the fore parts
+flew away leaving the stings behind. In plain military words, the R.H.A.
+unlimbered, busy gunners laid their pets, others ran back for
+ammunition, an officer gave directions, then a roll of smoke, a flash, a
+cracking bang, a gun runs back, and intently-watching eyes presently see
+a small cloud of smoke over the top of a distant kopje, and a faint,
+far-away crack announces that the well-timed shrapnel is searching the
+rocky ridges; then bang, bang! bang, bang! and the rest quickly follow,
+firing in turn and now and again in twos or threes. Then it's "limber
+up" and forward, and their attention is paid to another little range
+further on. Soon, having cleared several kopjes, we, the Fife Light
+Horse, New Zealanders, our Composite Squadron, and others, crossed a
+drift and leisurely advanced, passing on our way a deserted Boer waggon
+loaded with corn, mealies and other stuff. At a farmhouse we naturally
+managed to halt, and tried to secure edibles. Colonel Pilcher, however,
+came and ordered us to form up in a field further on, and as we
+proceeded to obey this order, Mausers began rapping out at us from a
+range of hills which we had supposed (usual fallacy!) were unoccupied,
+our guns having shelled them well. Thereupon the colonel immediately
+told us to retire behind the farmhouse and outbuildings with the horses.
+I soon found myself lying behind a low bank with Lieutenant Stanley, of
+the Somerset Yeomanry, on one side of me and a New Zealander the other,
+blazing away in response to B'rer Boer opposite. My Colonial neighbour's
+carbine got jammed somehow or other, and his disgust was expressed in
+true military style, for the keenness of the New Zealander is wonderful.
+One of our pom-poms and M Battery joining in, after a time the firing
+slackened, and chancing to look round at the side of the farmhouse, I
+beheld two of our fellows helping themselves to some chicken from a
+three-legged iron pot over a smouldering fire. Thereupon, I promptly
+quitted the firing line, and joined in the unexpected meal. It was
+awfully good, I assure you. While finishing the fowl, a New Zealander,
+pale-faced, with a wound in his throat and another in his hand, was
+brought in by two comrades, and a horse, which had been shot, died
+within a few yards of us. I am sorry to say that in this little affair
+we lost an officer and a trooper killed, and several wounded, not to
+mention a considerable amount of killed and wounded horses.
+
+The next day we advanced under a heavy fire from our guns, but met with
+no opposition. Our objective this time was the Zoutpan District, which
+is principally composed of bush veldt.
+
+Here I must pause, and give a veracious account of a certain not
+uninteresting episode, which happened during our march after De Wet in
+the Zoutpan District, and which I will call
+
+
+THE YEOMAN, THE ARGENTINE AND THE FARRIER-SERGEANT.
+
+On Tuesday, August the 22nd, we were advance guard through the bush
+veldt, and shortly after starting, _Bete Noire_, who had gradually been
+failing, gave out, so behold me, alone to all intents and purposes,
+bushed. Of course I immediately took careful bearings, and assuming that
+we should not be changing direction, slowly marched straight ahead.
+After going a considerable distance I got on to a small track, and
+finally, what might be termed by courtesy, a road, and was carefully
+studying it when one of our sergeants and a staff officer rode up. I
+told the latter that my horse was done, and the noble steed bore out my
+statement by collapsing under me as I spoke. The officer advised me to
+wait for the main body and lead my horse on after them, which I did,
+dragging him along for about a dozen weary miles, till I reached the
+camp at dark, just in time to participate in a lovely outlying picket.
+The next morning, having reported the case to the sergeant-major, he
+told me to lead the horse from the camp with the convoy, and instructed
+the farrier-sergeant to shoot him a little way out. So, having put my
+saddle on our waggon and asked the farrier if he had been told about the
+shooting, I proceeded to drag the poor beggar along. After toiling
+forward some considerable distance, I looked around for the man whose
+duty it was to shoot him, but could see him nowhere. So on I pushed,
+inquiring of everybody, "Where is the Farrier-Sergeant?" I lagged behind
+for him, and then toiled, perspiring and ankle deep in dust, ahead for
+him, but found him not. Even during the mid-day halt I could not find
+him, and as the beast had fallen once, I was getting sick of it.
+Everybody I accosted advised me to shoot the brute myself, the same as
+other fellows did in most of the Colonial corps, so at length, to cut
+this part of the story short, giving up all hope of being relieved of my
+burden by the farrier-sergeant, who somewhere was ambling along
+comfortably on a good horse--having again had the sorry steed fall--I
+led him aside from the track of the convoy and ended his South African
+career with my revolver. Alas, _Bete Noire!_ Had we but understood one
+another better the parting would have been a sad one. The case being
+otherwise, I felt, it must be admitted, no regret whatever. And now the
+interesting part of the episode begins. Hearing my shots (I am sorry to
+say I fired more than once in accomplishing my fell deed) the
+farrier-sergeant galloped up. "Who gave you permission to shoot this
+horse?" "Nobody; I couldn't find you, and couldn't lug the brute any
+further." "I shall report you." "I don't care." Then followed high
+words, involving bitter personalities and we parted. After tramping a
+good dozen miles further, I arrived at our camp in the dark, and had the
+luck to find our lines soon. To an interested and sympathetic group of
+comrades I related in full my adventures. Our sergeant-major, who is a
+very good sort, was telling me that it would be all right, when the
+regimental sergeant-major came up and told me that he must put me under
+arrest for shooting my horse without permission, destroying Government
+property (Article 301754, Par. 703, or something like that). There was
+none of the pomp about the affair which I should have liked to see--no
+chains, no fixed bayonets, or loaded rifles. Our sergeant-major, without
+even removing his pipe, said "Ross, you are a prisoner," and I replied
+"Righto," and proceeded to inquire when the autocrats of the cook-house
+would have tea ready. A few days later, I was brought before the
+beak--the officer in command of our squadron. "Quick march. Halt, left
+turn. Salute." This being done, the case was stated. The
+farrier-sergeant told the requisite number of lies. I denied them, but
+of course admitted shooting the beggar. Dirty, unwashed, unkempt,
+unshaven, ragged wretch that I looked, I daresay on a charge of
+double-murder, bigamy and suicide, I should have fared ill. The captain
+gave me what I suppose was a severe reprimand, told me that probably in
+Pretoria I should have to pay something, and said he would have to take
+away my stripe, so down it went, "reduced to the ranks." "Salute! Right
+turn," etc. Thus, did your humble servant lose the Field Marshal's baton
+which he had so long been carrying in his haversack. Alas, how are the
+mighty fallen! Tell it in Hastings and whisper it in St. Leonards if you
+will, like that dear old reprobate Mulvaney, "I was a corp'ril wanst,
+but aftherwards I was rejooced," _Vive l'Armee! Vive la Yeomanrie!_ All
+the fellows were intensely sympathetic, and indeed, one or two
+particular friends seemed far more aggrieved than myself. I ripped off
+my stripe at once, and tossed it in our bivouac fire, and joined the
+small legion of ex-lance corporals of the Sussex Squadron (five in
+number).
+
+[Illustration: Some of "the pomp & circumstance of Glorious War."]
+
+  "Or ever the blooming war was done,
+      Or I had ceased to roam;
+   I was a slave in Africa,
+      And you were a toff at home."
+
+Hullo! When it comes to poetry it is time to conclude.
+
+P.S.--My costume is holier than ever. Still, I find every cloud has a
+silver lining (though my garments possess none of any kind,
+unfortunately). The great advantage of the present state of one's
+clothes is this, if you want to scratch yourself--and out here on the
+warpath one occasionally does--say it's your arm, you need not trouble
+to take your tunic off; you simply put your hand through the nearest
+hole or rent, and there you are; if it's your leg you do the same, and
+thus a lot of trouble is saved.
+
+
+COMMANDEERING BY ORDER.
+
+                                        NEAR THE RACECOURSE,
+                                          PRETORIA.
+                                            _Friday, August 31st, 1900._
+
+We arrived here on Tuesday last (28th), and since then have been camped
+almost on the very spot where we were in June, and are expecting every
+moment to receive further marching orders. These we should undoubtedly
+have got long ere now, if we had only obtained remounts, which are very
+scarce. General Mahon has gone on to Balmoral with the I.L.H., Lumsden's
+Horse, and other corps with horses, and this morning Colonel Pilcher
+paraded us, New Zealanders, Queenslanders and I.Y., and bade us
+good-bye. He has been connected with the Colonials from the beginning of
+the campaign, and took the Zealanders into their first fight. I am
+feeling awfully fagged to-day, so hope you will, in reading this letter,
+make allowance for extenuating circumstances. If you only knew, I think
+you do, what these letters mean, the self-denied slumbers and washes,
+_fatigues shirked_, books and papers unread, and other little treats
+which comrades have indulged in when the rare and short opportunities
+have occurred--you would forgive much. On Tuesday (August 21st) we had
+five Sussex men and three Somerset in the ranks of our troop of the
+Composite Squadron of Yeomanry, the rest being either in the ambulances
+or leading done (not "dun") horses with the waggons. In this district we
+came across numerous Kaffir villages, from which we drew mealies and
+handed in acknowledgments for the same payable in Pretoria. Reference to
+these papers reminds me that some of the Colonials in commandeering
+horses from peaceful Boer farmers have given them extraordinary
+documents to hand in to the authorities at Pretoria. For instance, one
+paper would contain the statement that Major Nevercomeback had obtained
+a roan mare from Mr. Viljoen Botha, for which he agreed to pay him L20,
+others of which I have heard and since forgotten were intensely amusing.
+On Wednesday (the 22nd) I had to do a footslog, owing to my horse giving
+out. Later I shot him, but I have made a special reference to this
+tragic event and its sequence already. That day we did about 25 miles
+through the bush veldt bearing about N.W. On the line of march not a
+drop of water was to be got. Though thirst is by no means a new
+experience, it is always a disagreeable one. On we trudged with dry,
+parched mouths and lips sticking together as though gummed, the dust
+adhering to our perspiring faces and filling our nostrils and ears. It
+is quaint to note how little on the march men converse with one another.
+On they stolidly tramp or ride hour after hour, side by side, and often
+exchange never a word. On they go, thinking, thinking, thinking. It is
+not hard to guess each other's thoughts, because we know our own. They
+are of home, home, home, nine times out of ten. At dark we reached our
+camp, and from the water-cart, for which we all, as usual, rushed, we
+filled our pannikins and bottles with water, thick, soapy-looking water,
+but to us, cool, refreshing nectar.
+
+Thursday (the 23rd). There was a rumour (there always is) that we were
+to return to Pretoria. But the direction we took on marching belied it.
+Of course, I was "footslogging," but this day, having no horse to drag
+after me, was able to wander more at leisure. A few miles on the way a
+comrade and myself found a lovely flowing stream of the thick water
+before alluded to. Here we had a grand wash, and refilling our water
+bottles set on our journey refreshed. Some miles further on we came upon
+a freshly-deserted Boer store and farmhouse. Near the house we found
+some clips of explosive Mauser cartridges which had been buried by some
+bushes, and probably unearthed by some of the wandering porkers in the
+neighbourhood. Said I to a Tommy of Hamilton's column, as I took a
+handful of cartridges, "These will do as curios." Quoth Thomas
+scornfully, "Curios be blowed, put 'em in the beggars!" Of course, you
+can guess he did not exactly use those identical words, but they will
+do. Then having joined in the destruction of a monster hog, and obtained
+my share of his inanimate form, I, triumphant and perspiring, continued
+to follow the convoy.
+
+Friday (the 24th). This day we expected a big fight, but, as usual,
+because it was expected, it did not come off. Baden-Powell the day
+before had hustled them pretty considerably. We were so close on the
+Boers, that we got half of their ambulances, one being a French
+presentation affair, and driven by a woman, also some waggons. This day
+we did not go very far, our objective being a place known, I believe, as
+Warm Baths (the Harrogate or Sanatorium of the Transvaal). It lies due
+north of Pretoria, and about 40 miles from Pietersburg. Of course, here
+we struck the railway. After picketing the horses, a sick sergeant's
+horse was handed over to me. Most of us got permission to go and get a
+wash. The place was empty--save for some of Baden-Powell's men, who had
+got in at the enemy the day before--a desolate, wind-swept, sandy plain
+on the edge of the bush veldt and at the base of a range of kopjes,
+comprised of about thirty large corrugated iron bath houses (each
+containing two bath rooms), a fairly large hotel and small station--such
+is Warm Baths. The baths were well patronised. Some of our fellows,
+prisoners the Boers had been obliged to leave behind in their
+flight--the rogues had taken the linchpins out of some of the Boer
+waggon wheels to impede them as much as possible--were using them as
+sleeping apartments. As about a score of men were after each bath and
+the doors had no bolts, a bath, though luxurious, was not an altogether
+private affair, the person bathing having continually to answer the
+question of a string of "the great unwashed," "How long shall you be?"
+and having the uneasy knowledge that about half-a-dozen impatient beings
+were waiting, sitting on the door-step and exhorting him "to buck up!" A
+couple of us managed to secure a fine bath, which we enjoyed without
+interruption worthy of mention. The water, which is naturally hot, was
+grand, and so hot that we had to use a lot of the cold, which was also
+laid on.
+
+The next day, Saturday (25th), we rested at Warm Baths, and I think we
+deserved it. If "early to bed and early to rise, make a man healthy,
+wealthy and wise," excepting occasionally the first clause "early to
+bed," I consider we ought all to live the health and longevity of
+Methuselah or Old Parr, the wealth of Croesus or Vanderbilt, and the
+wisdom of Solomon, blended with the guile of the Serpent. Mention of the
+guile reminds me of a simple little incident which occurred to-day, and
+which, months ago, we simple Yeomen would never have perpetrated. A
+terrible thing happened during the night; the sergeant-major's horse had
+got loose from our lines and was missing. Down came that indignant
+officer and sent the whole troop out to find it. Months ago I should
+have gone and searched diligently, and then been cussed for not finding
+the animal. But now, what does the fully-fledged Imperial Yeoman do?
+Grumbling and scowling (you must always do this, as it shows how
+successful the powers have been in delegating a distasteful task to you,
+and pleases them accordingly) with razor, soap and shaving brush in my
+pocket, and a growling, sullen comrade with a towel and sponge in his,
+we two set out in search of the noble steed. However, once out of sight,
+we hied us down to some running water, where we shaved and washed, then,
+filling our pipes, we sat down for an hour and chatted. Finally, we
+returned disconsolate and horseless, only to find that the great man had
+found it himself.
+
+[Illustration: The Government has yet to strike the happy medium in the
+sizes of the uniforms etc. which it provides for its troops.]
+
+Sunday (26th). We got definite orders to march to Pretoria, the sick and
+horseless men having left by rail the previous day in trucks drawn by
+bullocks, till they could get on a more unbroken line. We paraded at 3
+o'clock, and very shortly after starting my new horse became bad and I
+had to again join the convoy. To-day we marched to Pienaars River, the
+bridge here representing a badly-made switchback railway, and those
+marvels of energy, the Engineers, working away merrily at it, with the
+assistance of Kaffirs.
+
+On Monday (27th) our _reveille_ was at five, and we marched to Waterval,
+where we saw the fine, large aviary in which the Boers kept the British
+prisoners till June, and the next day (Tuesday) we were up at 2.30, and
+marched into Pretoria and camped on the Racecourse at 11 o'clock. No
+sooner had I dragged my horse in and picketed him in our lines, than I
+managed to obtain town leave, and, having hastily washed, I boarded a
+mule waggon and was soon jolted into Pretoria. There I got Mails galore,
+found my kit bag had come up from Cape Town, and met dozens of old
+comrades in the Police, who insisted on making me have tea with them
+(with _condensed milk_ in it, oh, ye gods!) and jam on real _bread_, and
+generally made a fuss of me, and listened with amused attention to a
+truthful account of the death of _Bete Noire_ and my subsequent
+Dreyfus-like degradation. Rattling good fellows they were to me, and
+under their benign influence the petty trials and inconveniences of the
+past seven or eight weeks faded away like a dissolving view. The
+authorities have also served us out with clothes. I have received a
+lovely khaki tunic with beautiful brass buttons stamped with Lion and
+Unicorn, "_Dieu et mon Droit_," and a' that. And the fit is a wonderful
+fit; it is truly marvellous how they can turn out such a well-fitting
+coat for--a big boy of twelve. And I have boots! A grand fit for a
+policeman. Only I am neither a boy of twelve nor a policeman.
+
+
+
+
+WITH CLEMENTS.
+
+
+                                        HEKPOORT,
+                                          _September 5th, 1900._
+
+  We've stood to our nags (confound them!)
+    We've thought of our native land;
+  We have cussed our English brother,
+    (For he does not understand.)
+  We've cussed the whole of creation,
+    And the cross swings low for the morn,
+  Last straw (and by stern obligation)
+    To the Empire's load we've borne.
+
+Monday, September 3rd. _Reveille_ at three o'clock, and coming after a
+few days of welcome rest in the camp by the Pretoria Racecourse, a camp
+resembling a vast rubbish field with the addition of open latrines, we
+naturally felt more annoyed than when on the march, hence these idle
+rhymes. On Sunday, after a short Divine Service, at which our major
+presided, we had to fall in and draw remounts. Hence "Reveille," "Saddle
+up and stand to your horses!" I chose rather a good mount in the horse
+corral, but as the sergeants had the privilege of choosing from those we
+drew, I lost it, and so abandoned any intentions of trying to secure
+another good one. There is no attempt on these occasions to see that the
+right man has the right horse: it's "Hobson's choice." Even at Maitland
+camp, where I drew my first mount, no such attempt was made, the
+consequence being that I, scaling about 13-st. or more with my kit on,
+and heaven only knows what with my loaded saddle, drew when my turn came
+a weak little mare, which I had to stick to, to our mutual disadvantage,
+while lighter men drew bigger and stronger horses. Only a few days ago I
+received amongst my mails a letter from my sister, who inquired, "How is
+your horse?" Which one? "Stumbles" is not, "Ponto" is not, "Juggernaut"
+is not, "Diamond Jubilee" is not, "Bete Noire" is not. My present one,
+which I have not named, _is_, and I sometimes wish he wasn't. When I
+drew him at a venture, I vainly hoped he was not like other horses,
+especially that Argentine. Well, apart from stumbling and reverentially
+kneeling on most inopportune occasions, I have not much fault to find
+with him. To-day is our first day on this fresh jaunt (we are to join
+Clements), and already more than half the horses dished out to us seem
+played out. You see they have all passed through the Sick Horse Farm,
+and I presume are really convalescents. They dragged us along at the
+commencement of the day, and we had to drag them along at the end, which
+may sound like an equal division of labour, but which, in my opinion, it
+is not. However, to be very serious, our lives might have to depend upon
+these brutes at any moment, apart from the fact of our necks being
+perpetually in danger on account of their stumbling propensities. Still
+apart from the inconvenience of having to bury one, I fancy there would
+not be much concern on that count. We have halted at Rietfontein which
+is a mile or so from Commando Nek. Here is a large A.S.C. depot, from
+which columns working in the district can draw supplies. It has been
+quite a treat to have tea by daylight.
+
+Tuesday, September 4th. 'Nother three o'clock _reveille_! Passing by
+Commando Nek we were surprised at the difference since we were here
+about a month ago. Then the trees were bare, nearly all the veldt burnt
+and black, and the oat fields trodden down. Now the trees are wearing o'
+the green, and the once blackened veldt has assumed a verdant and
+youthful appearance, while the oat fields remind one of home, almost.
+For this is the Krugersdorp District, which we like so well, though,
+alas, the orange groves are on the other side (north) of the
+Magaliesberg. A strange thing happened after passing our old camping
+ground (of about a month ago) at Commando Nek. Instead of recognising
+familiar landmarks and houses, everything seemed strange and new to me.
+Said the man on my left in the ranks, "There's the farm where those
+Tommies got the porkers." To which I remarked vacantly, "Oh!" Then,
+further on, "Haven't the oats come on in that field?" Again, I
+helplessly "Er--yes." Then, "I wonder if they've got any fowls left in
+that shanty over there?" I, dissembling knowledge no longer, at last
+observed, "Really I don't understand it. I can't remember this place a
+bit." To which my neighbour replied, "Don't you remember coming this way
+when we were leading those Argentine remounts?"
+
+_Those Argentine remounts!_ All was explained at last. Of course, I saw
+and remembered naught save those awful brutes.
+
+We caught Clements up at ten o'clock--encamped to our joy--so here we
+are with "piled arms," "saddles off," and "horses picketed." As we came
+into camp we heard once again the Mausers of the snipers afar off. We
+have rigged up a sun shelter and have just dined, our "scoff" (Kaffir
+for "grub") being bread and bully beef.
+
+     _Apropos_:
+
+     _First Yeoman_: "I say, is this bully beef American?"
+
+     _Second Yeoman_: "No, _'Orse_-tralian, I believe."
+
+Wednesday, September 5th.
+
+  "The peaches are a-blooming,
+   And the guns are a-booming,
+   And I want you, my honey,
+        _Yus, I do_."
+
+We had _reveille_ at a more Christian-like time this morning (4.30), and
+moved out as supports to our other troop (Devons), who were advance
+party. We number eighteen Sussex men, all told, in our ranks, and are
+led by Mr. Stanley, a Somerset I.Y. officer, who on our last trip was in
+charge of the Ross Gun Section, which consisted of two quick-firing Colt
+guns. After bare trees, dry veldt and dusty tracks, it is a real treat
+for one's eyes to see this fine district assuming its spring garb.
+Through the bright green patches of oats and barley we rode, past peach
+trees and bushes in full bloom, sometimes through a hedge of them, the
+pink blooms brushing against one's cheek. Then we came to a bend of the
+Crocodile River, with its rugged banks covered with trees and
+undergrowth, and the water rushing swiftly along between and over the
+huge rocks in its bed. This we forded at the nearest drift, the water
+reaching up to the horses' bellies. The general idea was for us mounted
+troops to clear the valley, and the infantry the ridges of kopjes. We
+were soon being sniped at from the right and the left, by, I presume,
+numerous small parties of Boers, and after riding about a mile were
+dismounted behind a farmhouse, and took up a position on the banks of
+the Crocodile. The scene was truly idyllic. Below us the river in this
+particular place was placidly flowing, the various trees on its banks
+were bursting out in their spring foliage, and birds were twittering
+amongst them: indeed, one cheeky little feathered thing came and perched
+on a peach tree covered in pink blossom close by and piped a matin to
+me, and there was I, lounging luxuriously in the deep grass, a pipe in
+my mouth, a Lee-Enfield across my knees, and a keen eye on the range of
+kopjes opposite. Truly, the spring poet's opportunity, but alas, beyond
+the few lines with which I have dared to head to-day's notes, I could do
+naught in that line. Soon our artillery began throwing shrapnel on the
+top of the objectionable height, and, later, the Mausers began to speak
+a little further on, and that has been the day's game. I don't know our
+losses yet, but we have undoubtedly had some. Our crowd had a horse
+killed, of course. We had a good deal of visiting to do, calling at this
+farm and that, and inquiring if the "good man" was at home. This is the
+usual scene:
+
+Farmhouse of a humble order. A few timid Kaffirs loitering around, also
+a few fowls and slack-looking mongrels. Gentleman in Khaki rides up, and
+in the door appear two or more round-faced women wearing headgear of the
+baby-bonnet mode, dirty-faced children in background.
+
+     _G. in K._: "Where is your husband?"
+
+     _Women_: "Niet verstand."
+
+     _G. in K._: "Where is your brother?"
+
+     _Women_: "Niet verstand."
+
+     _G. in K._: "Is he on those kopjes, potting at us?"
+
+     _Women_: "Niet verstand."
+
+     _G. in K._: "Have many Boers been past here?"
+
+     _Women_: "Niet verstand."
+
+     _G, in K._ (After more interrogatories and more "Niet
+     verstands"): "Oh, hang it, good-bye."
+
+     _Women_ (in distance): "Niet verstand."
+
+Verily, the "niet verstand" or "no savvee" game is a great one out here.
+
+(_Later._) Our casualties were three Northumberland Fusiliers killed and
+eight wounded, one of our Fife comrades shot in the chest, also three
+Roughriders hit, and a fair percentage of horses knocked.
+
+Thursday, September 6th.--_Reveille_ at four o'clock, and off at
+daybreak. We soon came into action, some of our fellows on the right
+flank getting it particularly hot. Our little lot wheeled and dismounted
+behind a farmhouse, and, wading through a field of waving green barley,
+under fire, took up a position amongst the growth on the near bank of
+the river, from which we let off at some sangars on the top of a kopje
+in front. After a while we returned to our horses, mounted, rode away to
+our right, crossed the river, dismounted behind a rise in the ground,
+and proceeded to occupy some kopjes nearer the enemy, who had retired.
+Some fine sangars were on the hill we occupied, and so we were saved the
+trouble of building any. The one I found myself in was a very
+comfortable and secure affair as regards rifle fire. As, of course, Mr.
+Boer does not show himself over much, we had not much to pot at,
+therefore I made myself as comfortable as possible on the shady side of
+the sangar, and pulled out one of my numerous pocket editions of
+Tennyson (recently acquired in Pretoria) and indulged in a good, though
+occasionally interrupted, read. To a stranger at the game, I should
+imagine that my behaviour at times would have appeared incongruous, for
+while perusing the "Lotos-Eaters" and "Choric Song," the man on my right
+would now and again interrupt me with, "There are some, have a shot at
+'em!" Whereupon I would arise and fire a round or so at the distant
+dots, and then sink down again and resume the sweet poesy, ignoring as
+much as possible the constant bangings of villainous cordite in my ears,
+right and left. Soon we moved on to another position, the
+Northumberlands taking up our old one. The next one was in a stone
+enclosure, which contained a large number of goats and kids. This was
+not so pleasant, as the sun was high, and the place odoriferous.
+
+At about three we were relieved by a Northumberland picket, and returned
+under a sniping fire to where the camp had been pitched. Then the fun
+commenced. A rather distant bang, _whis-sh!_ over our heads; and from
+amongst the infantry blanket shelters a cloud of earth spouted up, and a
+small batch of men cleared off from the vicinity of the explosion. It
+was amusing to see the niggers throw themselves into trenches by the
+roads and fields. Then came another and yet another shell, without any
+more effect than making a hole in a tent, and the men of No. 8 Battery
+Field Artillery (and No. 8 is a deuced smart Battery, by'r leave) dashed
+out from their lines, pushing and dragging their guns, while the "4.7
+gentleman" began moving his long beak in the air as though sniffing for
+the foe. "Give 'em hell, boys!" we cried to the busy gunners, as they
+dashed by us, working at the wheels and drag-ropes, but the Naval man
+spoke first, "Snap--Bang!" and back the gun jumped in a cloud of smoke;
+and presently, far away, from the crest of the kopje under suspicion, a
+cloud of brown arose, and later came the crack of the explosion.
+Meanwhile the Boers went on pitching shells into our camp, and we got
+the order to retire behind a kopje with our horses till it was decided
+what to do with us. Having done this, the shelling soon ceased, and
+later we were taken back to camp, where we off-saddled, picketed our
+horses, and settled down to tea. And then _bang! whish! crack!!_ bang!
+whish! towards us the enemy's shells came again. They had got two guns
+in position, and were working them hard. We were getting some of our own
+back, for the shells we picked up were 15-pounder ones, of British make.
+Our Naval gun barked back viciously at them, and so did the field guns,
+but the enemy were firing with the red and dazzling setting sun, behind
+them, and shining directly in our fellows' eyes, who were blazing
+apparently at poor old Sol, and cussing him and the wily Boer in a
+manner by no means ambiguous. I know not whether we did them any harm or
+not; certainly they shifted their positions once or twice. As regards
+ourselves, it seems beyond belief, no damage was done. The enemy could
+not even boast of the bag which the Americans achieved at Santiago--that
+famous mule.
+
+[Illustration: Oliver Twist on the Veldt.
+
+_Pember, of the Sussex, asking for an extra allowance of tea, at the
+cook-house, while the camp is being shelled by the Boers, at Hekpoort._
+
+(_Persuasively_) "It may be your last chance, Cookie!"]
+
+
+CATTLE LIFTING.
+
+                                        HEKPOORT.
+                                         _Saturday, September 8th, 1900._
+
+I fancy I stopped in my last near the end of a rather long-winded
+account of the shelling we experienced at the hands of Brother Boer, on
+Thursday evening last. To conclude that day's events, we finally shifted
+our horse lines a bit and turned in, spending a night undisturbed by the
+distant booming of the Boer guns or the ear-splitting cracking of our
+4.7. The next day we returned to our old lines, and settled down for a
+good day's rest, as we heard that Clements was waiting for Ridley to
+come up.
+
+I had hardly unsaddled, however, when the sergeant-major came round and
+told half-a-dozen of us to saddle up and go out with the two guides
+(civilians, British farmers, who are with this column and know the
+locality). So we flung on our saddles, and slipping on our bandoliers,
+mounted and set out in our shirt sleeves (mark that!) with our guides in
+their civilian togs (mark that!). From these individuals we gathered we
+were off cattle-lifting, the Boers having left some in a kloof about a
+couple of miles south of the camp. With jocular allusions to our last
+quest of a similar nature (the laager near Rustenburg) we smoked and
+trotted along, comfortable in our shirt sleeves after so much of the
+usual marching order. Following, came four "boys" to drive the cattle
+home. We soon reached our objective. The "boys" were sent into the
+kloof, while we dismounted a little way up the stone-covered kopje on
+the right, and leaving a couple to look after the gees, the guides and
+the remainder of us started to climb the heights and cover the "boys" if
+necessary. Soon a rifle report was heard, and then another. The guides
+said it was a picket of ours firing on us in mistake from the kopje on
+the left, and suggested that one of us should work round and let them
+know who we were. Most of us argued that the report was a Mauser one.
+However, the guides prevailed, and I was deputed for the job, when the
+"boys" came running in breathless and told us pantingly that Boers had
+been sniping them. So seeing that it would be impossible under the
+circumstances to lift the cattle, we retired on our horses, mounted and
+moved off. And then the beggars, who had evidently moved up closer, gave
+it to us fairly warm, and we had to open out and break into a gallop in
+the direction of the camp. We were about clear of the Mausers and riding
+through some bush, when, suddenly above a stone wall not a hundred yards
+in front of us, helmets and heads appeared, also glistening rifle
+barrels, which pointed, oh no, not on the kopje behind, but on us. [This
+is where the civilian clothes and shirt sleeves came in.] An officer
+shouted "Don't fire! Don't fire!!! Down with those rifles." This order
+was obeyed reluctantly, then "Who are you?" "Friends! Yeomanry!" "What
+Yeomanry?" "Sussex." "All right." They proved to be a picket of the
+Northumberland Fusiliers. Then we crossed a drift, our horses nearly
+having to swim, and finally reached camp. This morning (Saturday,
+September 8th) our squadron and the Fifes had to go back about
+half-a-dozen miles to meet Ridley. Our troop acted as advance party. It
+was rather an interesting sight to see the two parties meet; the advance
+of Ridley's force was Kitchener's Horse. When we met, we halted and
+chatted, waiting for orders. As we did so, the merry snipers started a
+desultory fire, which gradually became more rapid. Several suspected
+houses in the vicinity, whose owners had, as usual, taken the oath of
+neutrality and broken it--_Punica Fides_ will have to give way to a new
+phrase, Boer Faith--were then burnt down. War is not altogether a game,
+it has its stern aspect. The women and children were loud in their
+lamentations as the red flames blazed and the dense smoke rolled away on
+the fresh breeze which was blowing. They cursed us and wept idle tears,
+but they had their own dear friends, husbands and sons, to thank after
+all, as nearly all the sniping in this lovely valley is being done by
+the farmers who live in it. We brought about 25 Boers in camp with us,
+either suspected or to save them from temptation. To see them, with
+their roll of blankets, saying good-bye to their weeping families would
+have touched anything but the hardened, homesick heart of a "Gentleman
+in Khaki," for he knows full well that the simple peasant in this, as in
+other localities, usually combines business with pleasure by sniping you
+in the morning and selling you eggs in the afternoon, as our troop
+leader puts it.
+
+[Illustration: Hate.]
+
+Sunday, September 9th. A late _reveille_ (6 o'clock). A lovely, lazy day
+in camp, during which I have been stewing fruit, smoking, and, alas, my
+bad habits still cling to me, perpetrated for my own amusement a little
+rough-and-ready rhyme, which I have the temerity to enclose. We had a
+short service, at which our O.C. Major Percy Browne, a real good man,
+presided. Ridley, who works with Clements, the same as Mahon did with
+Ian Hamilton, has with him Roberts' Horse, Kitchener's Horse, some
+Australians, the 2nd and 6th M.I., some artillery and two pom-poms. We
+advance to-morrow.
+
+
+ANOTHER VERSION.
+
+    Into our camp, from far away,
+    Somebody's darling came one day--
+    Somebody's darling, full of grace,
+    Wearing yet on his youthful face,
+    Soon to be hid by a stubbly growth,
+    The fatted look of a life of sloth.
+    Thus to our camp, from far away,
+    Somebody's darling came one day.
+
+    Parted and oiled were the locks of gold,
+    Kissing the brow of patrician mould,
+    And pale as the Himalayan snows;
+    Spotlessly clean were his khaki clothes.
+    It was a cert', beyond any doubt,
+    Somebody's darling had just come out.
+
+    Wond'rous changes were quickly wrought.
+    Somebody's darling marched and fought.
+    Somebody's darling learned to shoot,
+    Somebody's darling loved to loot;
+    Somebody's darling learned to swear,
+    And neglected to part his hair.
+
+    After riding and marching weary leagues,
+    Somebody's darling was set on fatigues--
+    Set on fatigues for dreary hours,
+    Thinking of home, its fruits and flowers.
+    Somebody's darling's ideals were quashed;
+    Somebody's darling went unwashed.
+
+    Somebody's darling cussed sergeants big,
+    Somebody's darling killed a young pig:
+    Then dressed and trimmed it ready to eat,
+    First of many a butcherly feat;
+    Somebody's dear caring naught for looks,
+    Joined the army of amateur cooks.
+
+    Somebody's darling drank water muddy;
+    Somebody's darling saw men all bloody;
+    Somebody's darling heard bullets fly;
+    Somebody's darling saw comrades die;
+    Somebody's darling was playing the game,--
+    Thousands and thousands were doing the same.
+
+    Somebody's darling rose long before morn;
+    Somebody's darling went tattered and torn;
+    Somebody's darling longed for a bite,
+    Half-baked by day and frozen by night.
+    Somebody's darling received Mails sometimes,
+    And his joy was beyond my idle rhymes.
+
+    Somebody's darling was sniped one fierce day,
+    An ambulance jolted him far away;
+    Somebody's darling had got it bad,
+    Somebody at home would soon be sad.
+    Somebody's darling grew worse--then died.
+    And--that was the end of Somebody's Pride.
+
+
+DELAREY GIVES US A FIELD DAY.
+
+                                        _Monday, September 10th, 1900._
+
+We had _reveille_ at 3.30, and moved off as advance party before dawn.
+It was not long before we got into action. In less than a mile from our
+camp we found _frere_ Boer, who made his presence known to us in the
+usual way, that is, with his Mauser, Express, Martini-Henry, or elephant
+gun; of course, the first is his usual weapon. Not to be too
+long-winded, we carried ridge after ridge of kopje for several miles. On
+one occasion the enemy and ourselves rushed for the top of two different
+kopjes, wherefrom to pepper one another. We only just had time to take
+cover in a sangar as they opened fire from the opposite hill. Their
+bullets buzzed and whistled over us, bringing down twigs from a tree
+just by me, and striking the stones with a nasty sound. Later, the
+infantry (Worcesters), advancing from behind, began firing over us at
+the enemy; indeed, for a little time, we were very uncertain whether
+they were not mistaking us for t'others. Anyhow, their bullets came most
+infernally close, and necessitated our taking careful cover from the
+missiles in rear as well as those in front. At last we came to the
+enemy's main position, which was a fine natural one, and our artillery
+came into play--we resting for a bit, and the infantry forming up to
+advance under their fire. Then hell got loose. Bang, bang, bang went our
+field guns; boom went the 4.7; pom-pom-pom-pom-pom went the
+Vickers-Maxims; rap-rap-rap-rap-rap-rap went the Maxims; bang, bang went
+their field guns; up-um, up-um, up-um went their Mausers; crack, crack
+went our rifles. Imagine the above weapons and a few others, please, all
+firing, not so much to make themselves heard at the same time (they did
+that), but to destroy, kill and maim, and you can guess it was hard for
+a poor tired beggar to sleep. I was fagged out, and when we rested while
+our gunner friends had their innings, laid down in the blazing noon-day
+sun, and, with a stone for a pillow, half-dozed for an hour or so. I was
+roused by a comrade to look in front of me, it was a wonderful sight.
+About a mile-and-a-half of the Boer position was a blackened line
+fringed with flame and smoke, but they were still determinedly trying to
+stop our infantry from occupying a long kopje in front of them, and
+answering our guns with theirs. That night was almost a sleepless one,
+for though dead fagged, we all had to do pickets on the ground we had
+won. The next morning Delarey had disappeared, but we know we shall meet
+him again.
+
+It is a fine sight to see British infantry advance. With rolled
+blanket, and mess-tin a-top, filled haversack, the accursed
+"hundred-and-fifty"[5] pulling at his stomach, pipe in mouth, and
+rifle sloped (butt up as a rule), Mr. Thomas Atkins of the Line goes
+leisurely forward. I do not know yet what the casualties were. Of
+the Worcesters who passed us, one poor fellow was shot through the
+head, and about ten wounded; we had none, save a nag shot by
+Roberts' Horse in mistake.
+
+         [Footnote 5: The hundred-and-fifty rounds of ammunition which
+         always have to be carried by Thomas Atkins.]
+
+
+BURNT TO DEATH.
+
+                                        HEKPOORT.
+                                         _Thursday, Sept. 13th, 1900._
+
+We returned to this, our old camp, yesterday, and are resting here for a
+day or more, one never knows for certain how long these rests will last
+when out on the war path. Yesterday (the 12th) we had a fairly late
+_reveille_, and then, acting as advance guard, returned hither by way of
+a valley running parallel with this, and through which Ridley advanced
+when we had our little scrap with Delarey at Boschfontein, on Monday
+last. By-the-bye, I was yarning, while washing at a stream near here
+this morning, with some Worcesters, who told me they had five killed and
+fifteen wounded on that day. Two poor fellows were found burned out of
+all recognition on the charred veldt the next day. They had been left
+wounded and had been unable to crawl away from the blazing grass. The
+valley we passed through yesterday was, in parts, more charming than
+this. One little village, called Zeekooe, was a particularly pleasant
+spot, the houses being half-hidden by the white pear blossoms, the pink
+peach, and the various green foliages of the trees, for this is Spring,
+when "the young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love," and here
+am I ----, well, well!! Even my old foe, the two-inch thorn bush, has
+assumed a light-green muslin bridal veil. All this bursting into leaf is
+most refreshing, to me at least, and I doubt not no less welcome to the
+noble Boer sniper, who now gets more cover than was possible a month
+ago. As we left camp, he was sniping away merrily, and about as
+ineffectively as usual. When we crossed the kopjes to get to this valley
+we came by way of a fine mountain road. Sheer down below us rushed the
+river Magaliz, crystal clear, splashing and bubbling over the big rocks
+in its bed, with weeping willows dipping down from amidst the thick
+undergrowth on its banks, while now and again a garden from a farm near
+ran to its edge, with vivid patches of young oats and lemon trees. On
+arrival in camp, we heard that some Boers had been discovered in some
+undergrowth, by a stream on our left flank, so we set off, and beating
+it got six armed.
+
+The barbed-wire curse is great in this Eden-like valley, and when you
+consider that the advance mounted parties have to go straight ahead
+through fields and back gardens, the garden walls of which are
+invariably represented by barbed-wire fencing, you can comprehend that
+our work is more often than not, no easy matter, especially as
+wire-nippers are as rare as brandies and sodas, and even when possessed
+are not much assistance in surmounting the wide and deep irrigation
+cutting, which is often on the other side of the fence. Again, bogs are
+not infrequently come across--_across_, by the way, is hardly the word
+to use. Only a few days ago I was riding towards what I deemed to be a
+passable ford, when I met a Rough Rider (72nd I.Y.) coming back from it.
+I casually asked him if it was all right, to which he replied that it
+was a bit boggy, and then incidentally added, "We've just shot one of
+our fellows' horses that got stuck and we couldn't get out." Whereupon I
+took a more circuitous route, a proceeding which I did not regret, when
+later, I saw the poor, horseless Rough toiling in the broiling sun, his
+huge saddle covering his head and shoulders, after the tail of the
+convoy, in hopes of catching it and depositing his burden on a waggon.
+
+
+THE INFECTION OF SPRING AGAIN.
+
+I must apologise for the enclosed doggerel. Last night, round one of our
+fires, we were alluding to the various uses we have made of that deadly
+weapon, the bayonet, and it was suggested that I, as a Spring Poet,
+should record them in verse, hence the enclosed:--
+
+  THE BALLAD OF THE BAYONET.
+
+  (Sussex Yeoman _loq._)
+
+  Did I ever use the bay'nit, sir?
+  In the far off Transvaal War,
+  Where I fought for Queen and country, sir,
+  Against the wily Boer.
+  Aye, many a time and oft, sir,
+  I've bared the trusty blade,
+  And blessed the dear old Homeland, sir,
+  Where it was carefully made.
+
+             _Chorus_:
+
+    _Then here's to the British bay'nit
+    Made of Sheffield steel,
+    And here's to the men who bore it--
+    Stalwart men and leal._
+
+  You notice the dents on the edge, sir,
+  At Bronkhurst Spruit they were done;
+  I was getting a door for a fire,
+  For out of wood we had run.
+  I was smiting hard at the door, sir,
+  Or rafter, I'm not sure which,
+  When I struck on an iron screw, sir,
+  And the bay'nit got this niche.
+
+  'Tis my mighty Excalibur, sir,
+  I've used it in joy and grief,
+  For digging up many a tater,
+  Or opening bully beef.
+  I have used it for breaking wire,
+  Making tents 'gainst rain and sun;
+  I have used it as a hoof-pick,
+  In a hundred ways and one.
+
+  Oh, how did the point get blunted, sir?
+  I was driving it home
+  As a picketing peg for my horse,
+  So that he should not roam.
+  I drove it in a little, sir,
+  And then in my haste, alas,
+  I stubbed the point on a rock, sir,
+  Some inches below the grass.
+
+  You ask if it e'er took a life, sir?
+  Aye, I mind the time full well;
+  I had spotted him by a farm, sir,
+  And went for him with a yell.
+  He tried to escape me hard, sir,
+  But I plunged it in his side,
+  And there by his own backyard, sir,
+  A healthy porker died.
+
+  But did I draw it in action?
+  You ask me roughly now.
+  Yes, we were taking a kopje,
+  The foe were on the brow.
+  We drew and fixed our bay'nits,
+  The sun shone on the steel;
+  Death to the sniping beggars
+  We were about to deal.
+
+  Then, sweating and a-puffing,
+  We scaled the rocky height,
+  But when we reached the top, sir.
+  The foe was out of sight.
+
+  Has it e'er drawn human blood?
+  Yes, once, I grieve to say;
+  It was not in a battle,
+  Or any bloody fray;
+  'Twas just outside Pretoria.
+  The deed was never meant,
+  I slipped and fell on the point, sir,
+  'Twas quite by accident.
+
+             _Chorus_:
+
+    _Then here's to the British bay'nit,
+    Made of Sheffield steel,
+    And here's to the men who bore it,
+    Stalwart men and leal.
+    And here's to the Millenium,
+    The time of peaceful peace,
+    When neighbours shall love each other,
+    And wicked wars shall cease._
+
+
+DEATH OF LIEUTENANT STANLEY.
+
+Monday, September 17th. There is a funeral to-day--an officer's--and we
+(the Composite Squadron) are stopping in camp for it, as it concerns us.
+So I will tell you all about it. Yesterday was Sunday, seldom a day of
+rest out here. We, the three squadrons of Yeomanry attached to Clements'
+force, were sent out early on a reconnaissance. Without any opposition
+we advanced in a westerly direction towards Boschfontein, almost the
+same way as on Monday last, for about four miles, the Devon and Dorset
+troops of our squadron being on the right, our Sussex troop on the left,
+the Roughriders (72nd I.Y.) in reserve, and the Fife Light Horse
+scouting ahead. The Fifes had reached the foot of a high grass-covered
+kopje, and were about to ascend it, when the enemy opened a hot fire on
+them, causing them to scoot for their lives, which they managed to do
+successfully. We then galloped up, dismounted, and opened fire on the
+hill-top, the Devons and Dorsets doing the same on our right, and the
+Fifes falling back on our left. Where the Roughs were we never knew,
+probably their officers did. Taking into account the absence of the Nos.
+3, with the led horses, and one group of our troop being sent some
+distance to the left, we only numbered six and our officer, Mr.
+Stanley, well-known in the cricket world as a Somerset county man. Our
+led horses were in a donga in the rear. The position we occupied, I
+should mention, was at the base of a kopje opposite to that held by the
+Boers. We were sighting at 2,000, when our captain, Sir Elliot Lees,
+rode up and said he could not make out where the Devons and Dorsets who
+should have been on our right, were. As a matter of fact they had
+retired unknown to us. This the wily Boers had seen and quickly taken
+advantage of, for Sergeant-Major Cave, of the Dorsets, rushing up to us
+crouching down, told us to fire to our right front, where some trees
+were about three or four hundred yards away, and from which a heavy fire
+was being directed at us. Sir Elliot Lees then came up again from our
+left. Mr. Stanley, seeing the hot corner we were in, retired us about a
+dozen yards back to the deepest part of the donga, where our led horses
+were, and ordered the fellows with the horses to retire, and later, gave
+the command for us to do the same in rushes by threes. Meanwhile our
+bandoliers were nearly empty, and the Boers were creeping round to our
+right, which would enable them to enfilade our position. The first three
+retired, and we were blazing away to cover them, with our heads just
+showing as we fired over the top of the donga, when the man on my right
+said, "Mr. Stanley is hit," and looking at him, for he was close to me
+on my left, I saw he was shot through the head, the blood pouring down
+his face. Sir Elliot, the other man, and myself were the only ones left
+in the donga then, so the captain, taking hold of poor Stanley by his
+shoulders, and I his legs, we started to carry him off. As we picked him
+up, he insisted, in a voice like that of a drunken man, on somebody
+bringing his carbine and hat. "Where's my rifle an' hat? Rifle an' hat!"
+The third man took them and gat--I heard this later. You have no idea
+what a weight a mortally-wounded man is, and the poor fellow was in
+reality rather lightly built. On we went, stumbling over stones, a
+ditch, and into little chasms in the earth. Once or twice he mumbled,
+"Not so fast, not so fast!" The bullets buzzed, whistled, and hummed by
+us, missing us by yards, feet, and inches, knocking up the dust and
+hitting the stones and thorn bushes we staggered through. We, of course,
+presented a big mark for the Boers, and were not under any covering
+fire so far as I am aware. The captain, who is grit all through, soon
+found it impossible to carry the poor fellow by the shoulders, the
+weight being too much for him, so I offered, and we changed places, Sir
+Elliot taking his legs and on we went, pausing, exhausted, perspiring
+and breathless, now and again, for a rest. At last, turning to our left,
+we reached a little bit of cover, thanks to a friendly rise in the
+ground, and falling into a kind of deep rut with Stanley's body on top
+of me, I waited while the captain went to see if he could get any
+assistance. Presently he returned with a Somerset man; and a minute or
+so later a Fife fellow, a medical student, came up. The former and I
+then got him on a little farther. After a few minutes' deliberation, the
+captain said, reluctantly, "we must leave him." We all three asked
+permission to stay. To which Sir Elliot replied, "I don't want to lose
+an officer and three men. Come away, men!" We then moved the poor fellow
+into a cutting about two feet deep and three feet wide, and arranged a
+haversack under his head. As we loitered, each unwilling to leave him
+first, Sir Elliot thundered at us to come on, saying, "I don't know why
+it is, but a Yeoman never will obey an order till you've sworn at him."
+Then reluctantly we set off in single file, working our way back by the
+bank of a stream, and still under cover of the rise in the ground, a
+little way up which we found one of our Sussex men, with his horse
+bogged to the neck. Further on we paused a moment, and the Fife man,
+saying that he thought the wound was not mortal, suggested that it would
+be well for somebody to be with Stanley so as to prevent him from
+rolling on it, and then asked permission to return. My Fife friend had
+not seen what I had. He had only seen where the bullet went in, not
+where it came out. Seeing that the captain was about to give him
+permission, I said "Mr. Stanley is my officer, sir, and I have the right
+to go," and he let me. I gave one my almost-empty bandolier, and another
+my haversack, telling him it contained three letters for the post,
+and--if necessary, to post them. My rifle I had already thrown into a
+ditch at Sir Elliot's command. Then I worked my way back, hoping that I
+should not be shot before reaching him. I got there all right, and
+evidently unseen; lying down by him, I arranged my hat so as to keep
+the sun off his face, and cutting off part of my left shirt-sleeve,
+with the water from my bottle, used half of it to bathe his temples and
+wipe his bubbling, half-open mouth. The other I moistened, and laid over
+the wound. He was quite unconscious, of course, and his case hopeless.
+Once I thought he was gone, but was mistaken. The second time, however,
+there was no mistake.
+
+I waited by the brave man--who had been our troop leader for the last
+fortnight, and who had, I am sure, never known fear--for some time
+deliberating what to do. Shots were still being fired from somewhere in
+my vicinity, while our firing I had gloomily noted had receded, and
+finally ceased. By-and-bye, all was silent, then a bird came and chirped
+near me and a butterfly flitted by. At length, as it appeared to me
+useless to wait by a dead man, I determined to get back to camp, if
+possible, instead of waiting to be either shot in cold blood, or made a
+prisoner. After carefully going through all his pockets, from which I
+took his purse, watch, whistle, pipe, pouch, and notebook, and,
+attaching his glasses to my belt, having arranged him a little and laid
+my bloody handkerchief over his face, I got up, and worked my way along
+by the river bank till compelled to go into the open. I trusted to a
+great extent to my khaki on the dry grass, and daresay it saved me from
+making much of a mark; but spotted I was, and from the right and left
+the bullets came very thick and unpleasantly close. For about a mile I
+was hunted on the right and left like a rabbit. At first I ran a little,
+but was done, and soon dropped into a staggering walk. After a while I
+came on Dr. Welford and his orderly behind some rocks, just coming out,
+but when he heard my news he turned back, and, as I refused to use his
+horse, which he offered me, at my request rode off, and got potted at a
+good deal. Further on, he waited for me. He is a brick, our doctor; and
+when he learnt I was thirsty, and he saw my tired condition (the sun on
+my bare head had been most unpleasant) he offered me a drop of whisky
+and water, adding, "You'd better have it when we get round the bend of
+the kopje ahead." I thanked him, and said I thought it would be more
+enjoyable _there_. Enjoy it I did. Finally I reached the camp and told
+the captain the sad news, at the same time handing in the gallant
+officer's belongings. His watch was at 12.5 when I left him. Sir Elliot
+was most kind to me, and said I had acted gallantly, and he had told the
+major (commanding us). Then Major Browne came up, and he was also very
+complimentary. Of course, there was nothing in what I had done that any
+other man would not have done, and I told them so, especially as the
+example set by the captain made it impossible for a man to be other than
+cool. Lieutenant Stanley, who took command of us when we left Pretoria a
+fortnight ago, had soon become very popular, for he was a thorough
+sportsman, keen as mustard, quite unaffected and absolutely fearless. I
+feel pleased with myself for taking everything off the poor fellow
+before I left him; for when, late last night, the ambulance came in with
+him, the doctor's orderly told me that they found him stripped of his
+boots, gaiters, and spurs--which was all that were left worth taking.
+
+
+HIS BURIAL.
+
+  "And far and wide,
+   They have done and died,
+      By donga, and veldt, and kloof,
+   And the lonely grave
+   Of the honored brave,
+      Is a proof--if we need a proof."
+                                 _E. Wallace._
+
+Tuesday, September 18th. We buried Lieut. Stanley yesterday at mid-day,
+the sergeants acting as bearers, we Sussex men (of the dozen of us, two
+were with him at Eton and one at Oxford) composed the firing party,
+while the whole squadron, officers and men followed. About
+three-quarters of a mile from our present camp, in the garden of a
+Scotchman, named Jennings, by a murmuring, running stream, and beneath
+some willows, we laid him. By the side of the grave was a bush of
+Transvaal may, covered in white blossom, at the end were roses to come,
+and away back and front were the white-covered pear trees and
+pink-covered peach, perfuming the clear, fresh air, while on the sides
+of the babbling stream were ferns and a species of white iris. Sewn up
+in his rough, brown, military blanket, he was lowered to his last
+resting-place, the major reading the Burial Service.
+
+  "---- Is cut down like a flower."
+
+He could not have been more than twenty-five. Then, "Fire three volleys
+of blank ammunition in the air. Ready! Present! Fire!" Again and again,
+and the obsequies of a brave officer and true English gentleman and
+sportsman were over.
+
+I am sorry to say that we have a Sussex sergeant missing--killed or
+prisoner. We are most anxious to know his fate, poor fellow. So, out of
+the seven of us in that hot corner, one is dead, one is not, and Heaven
+only knows how the others escaped, myself in particular.
+
+Wednesday, September 19th. This morning we advanced about half-a-dozen
+miles, and pitched our camp here--Doornkloof is the name of the place, I
+believe.
+
+Thursday, September 20th. Ridley's column has gone back in the direction
+of Pretoria to Rietfontein, as escort to a convoy, principally composed
+of waggons loaded with oat hay. I hear, and hope it is true, that he has
+our letters.
+
+Friday, September 21st. Had to do a picket on an outlying kopje. The
+stable guard, who should have _reveilleed_ us at three forgot to do so,
+and later, when we were aroused, we had to saddle up and clear off at
+once. I had to go off _sans cafe_ (which is breakfast), and worse still
+in my hurry _sans_ pipe. Oh, how that worried me, my pipe which I have
+kept and smoked through all till now. Somebody might tread on it and
+break it, or find it and not return it. On the kopje a friend lent me
+his emergency pipe, over which a lot of quinine powder had been upset,
+so I had a few smokes, in which the flavour of quinine prevailed
+unpleasantly. Still, I have no doubt it was healthy. But, oh, where was
+my pipe, should I ever see it again? "There is a Boer outpost over
+there." "Yes, but I wonder what the deuce has become of my pipe," and
+then I bored my vigilant fellow sentinel with the history of that pipe.
+With the sun pouring down on us without shelter, without any grub, and
+not a drop of water (my bottle I left by Stanley), we were stuck up on
+that kopje till past sunset. Where was my pipe, should I get it all
+right? At last we got back to camp, and, overjoyed, I received from a
+friend my pipe, which he had picked up in the lines. Then, having
+partaken of tea, I found myself in for a sleepless night as stable
+picket. But it didn't matter, I had got my pipe.
+
+Saturday, September 22nd.
+
+  "There is a foe who deals hard knocks,
+      In a combat scarce Homeric:
+   It's _not_ the Boer, who snipes from rocks,
+      But fever known as Enteric."
+
+The idea I have partly expressed in the above lines, is as you know,
+correct. The Boer from behind his rock snipes you at a distance, but
+Sister Enteric, though unseen, as Brother Boer, is nearer to us. She is
+with us in our camps, when we eat and when we drink--often parched,
+recklessly drink--and close, unseen and unheard, deals her blows. And
+when they are dealt, the nervous ones amongst us _think_. For common
+report hath it that the illness takes roughly about three weeks to
+develop, and the nervous man thinks back what did he drink three weeks
+ago, or thinking of what he ate or drank the day before, dreads the
+developments three weeks may bring. When we came in last night we heard
+that a poor fellow of our squadron had succumbed to it, and was to be
+buried the next morning at 5.30. We bury soon out here. So once again
+this week, I formed a unit of the firing party, and did the slow march
+with reversed arms. We clicked the three volleys at the grave. Later, we
+had two more funerals, the result of Brother Boer's handiwork. They were
+two men of Kitchener's Horse, who had dropped behind Ridley's force at
+Hekpoort, and had ridden to Mrs. Jennings' farm to buy some bread. These
+two were shot by over half-a-dozen concealed Boers at about twenty yards
+range. No attempt was made to make them prisoners, and they were
+practically unarmed, having revolvers only. Their bodies were riddled.
+
+Sunday, September 23rd.
+
+  "Oh, happy man in study quiet,
+      On data and statistics,
+  Making copy of our diet,
+      Please soften our biscuits!"
+
+This afternoon having borrowed a magazine from a Rough, in exchange for
+an old one I picked up in the Fife lines, I have in common with the
+sharer of my blanket shelter derived infinite entertainment from an
+article therein contained, entitled "Feeding the Fighting Man." Of
+course, it is illustrated with photographs, the first one depicting a
+sleek and stiff Yeomanic-looking, khaki-clad being standing by the side
+of a swagger little drawing-table covered with a fringed tablecloth, and
+obviously groaning under what we learn are the gentleman's daily
+rations. Apart from the article, this picture alone is calculated to
+make one's mouth water. The article opens with an extract from that
+great book, "The Soldier's Pocket Book." Here it is, "It may be taken as
+an accepted fact that the better the men are fed the more you will get
+out of them, the better will be their health and strength, the more
+contented will they be, and the better will be their discipline," all of
+which is gospel truth. The article, as I have already remarked, is very
+entertaining. Here is a little extract--"fresh meat and bread have been
+issued daily, almost without a single exception, to troops at the
+front." We know the fresh meat, good old trek ox! Always delightfully
+fresh--and tough. And the bread, yes, the bread, well-er-the bread, yes,
+the bread! If I had read this article at home, being somewhat of a
+gourmand, I should certainly have rushed off and enlisted directly after
+reading as far as the middle, where we learn that every soldier is
+allowed daily--oh, the list is too long to give you. There is one little
+thing the scribe overlooked, and that is the waggon crowd, the
+quartermaster-sergeant and his satellites. It may also be of interest to
+you to know that certain non-coms. and men of the A.S.C. have made large
+sums of money out here. I have heard of one who made three or four
+hundred pounds in a few months, hem! Of course, they are exceptions in a
+corps which has, as everyone knows, done grand work. Our running
+commentaries as I read the article through, would have made excellent
+marginal reading, if such notes could have been added for a future
+edition.
+
+Yesterday, a fresh epidemic visited our camp--football. Some person,
+evilly disposed I presume, produced a football which after a "good blow
+out" (oh, happy football) was kicked in the midst of a crowd of wild
+enthusiasts. We soon had a casualty, a sergeant stubbing his big toe
+badly on a boulder; now he can hardly walk. I believe there were a few
+other minor casualties. Thirty enteric cases were taken into Pretoria
+with the last convoy. I am slowly but surely learning to spread jam very
+thinly on biscuit, one of the most difficult accomplishments I have had
+to learn out here. My jam spreading having hitherto been at once the
+scandal and horror of my messmates.
+
+On Monday morning one of Bethune's Horse came into our camp, he had been
+a Boer prisoner, and had escaped from Rustenburg, which they are at
+present occupying (I think it is their turn this month). He had been
+wandering for fourteen days, or rather nights, for it was then he
+travelled--a native chief had supplied him with a guide, who piloted him
+about, and kept him going on berries and such like. He said to me, "I
+was glad to see English faces again," and I, who in a small way know
+what it is to be hunted, believed him, you bet.
+
+
+PROMOTED TO FULL CORPORAL.
+
+Tuesday, September 25th. Yesterday we moved out to meet and escort
+Ridley in with the convoy from Pretoria. About a couple of miles out we
+heard guns, and I thought probably we should have a bit of scrapping,
+but we did not beyond some half-hearted sniping. To my surprise and
+delight Ridley brought mails, my portion being eleven letters. Some had
+the home post mark of May 25th, and the others August 7th. I must leave
+off for a space here, as I have to carve an epitaph for the poor fellow
+who died a few days ago. You see one's occupations out here are many and
+varied.
+
+(_Resumed._)
+
+Yesterday evening the orderly sergeant came down to my wigwam, and asked
+for my regimental number, which I gave him without asking the reason
+why. Soon he returned and congratulated me, saying I had been promoted
+to full corporal over poor Stanley's affair. My many comrades also have
+warmly congratulated me on my return to my former state, or rather above
+it, for it is a case of wearing two stripes now.
+
+Wednesday, September 26th. On this day we advanced. Our column did not
+come in for the usual amount of attention from our friend the enemy, the
+reason being that a gentleman friend of ours, General Broadwood, was
+pounding away at them from one side, and Ridley from another. All the
+same we had a very busy day, scouting and occupying kopjes. Our guns
+fired at some Boer waggons, causing their escort to clear, and leave
+them for us. Our infantry got them and had a good time. They are fine
+fellows, are our infantry, and deserve all they can get in the loot
+line. Late in the afternoon we surrounded a suspicious-looking kloof,
+full of thick undergrowth, and captured a couple of the peaceful
+peasants of the Arcadian dorp (fontein, kloof or spruit) we were then
+occupying. A man in quest of loot found them, to his great surprise.
+They were of the _genus snipa_. One had an elephant gun and the other a
+Martini. We had had _reveille_ at 2.30, and breakfast a little later.
+From then till about six in the evening I had only a few bits of
+biscuit, and once a drop of water, but felt none the worse for my little
+fast.
+
+Thursday, September 27th. We got us up at 3.30. On going to saddle up I
+found that my horse was gone. However, after a careful search, I found
+him, though he had changed colour and size. When in the Yeomanry, do as
+the Yeomen do. So having got a mount I was soon on parade. We then
+ascended a big kopje and were placed at various observation posts till
+such time as the convoy should move off. On the top of this kopje were
+numerous tree-locusts, these are far more swagger in appearance than
+their khaki-clad brethren, being green and yellow, with a crimson and
+purple lining to their wings; but their whole appearance is so
+artificial, that my first impression on seeing one was that it had flown
+out of a Liberty Shop. From the various uncomplimentary remarks one
+hears passed on the locust, I imagine the name must be derived from the
+expression "low cuss." At 3.30 the tail of the beastly but necessary
+convoy had succeeded in negotiating the usual non-progressive drift, and
+we left our kopje to form its rear guard. My horse and I went a lovely
+howler soon after starting--my first spill. I got up feeling all the
+better for the experience, and soon had another. In this my rifle got
+broken.
+
+Friday, September 28th. We arrived at Olifant's Nek with the convoy at
+3.30 a.m. a bit tired, found lukewarmed-up tea, bully and biscuits
+awaiting us, and then turned in, and just and unjust slumbered soundly
+till a late _reveille_, 6 o'clock, bundled us out to feed our horses. My
+latest acquisition I found had vamoosed or been vamoosed. In searching
+for it, I found my old one. Then, having foraged around at our waggon
+and secured a Lee-Metford, I was once again fully equipped. At about 10,
+we advanced through the bush veldt as far as our present camping ground,
+which is called Doornlaagte, I believe.
+
+Saturday, September 29th. As we are resting here to-day I will continue
+my diary-like letter.
+
+(_Resumed._)
+
+My fell intentions of writing this morning were knocked on the head, as
+we had to go out on a patrol. Our latest _roles_ being that of
+resurrectionists, or grave desecrators. The reason was that certain
+tombs had been regarded with grave suspicion (I beg your pardon) our
+"intelligence" people imagining them to contain buried arms, ammunition,
+or treasure. However, on our arrival at the spot, a close inspection
+made it evident that they were _bona-fide_ affairs, not Mauser-leums,
+and by no means new as reported, so we left the rude forefathers of the
+hamlet undisturbed.
+
+Sunday, September 30th. We have just marched back from Doornlaagte
+through Olifant's Nek, and are camped here, a mile beyond. To-day is a
+regular Sunday-at-Home day. It has been quite a record day, especially
+for a Sabbath, for we have not heard a single Mauser go off.
+
+Monday, October 1st. Another month! Actually a year ago this month the
+war commenced, and there are still corners on the slate unwiped, and we,
+the poor wipers, are industriously wiping, and certainly cannot complain
+of a lack of rags. We moved out from the Nek through Krondaal and camped
+at Sterkstrom. Amongst the latest reports, false and true, we heard in
+the evening that the C.I.V.'s were off--homeward bound.
+
+Tuesday, October 2nd. The previous night we heard that the camp would
+not be shifted, nor was it. But we, of the Yeomanry, were. At 3.30,
+therefore, we had to arise and go out with the guns to co-operate with
+Ridley and Broadwood. After manoeuvring about, we were finally posted on
+what at first appeared a kopje of no importance (in height and
+composition), but kopjes were deceivers ever, and when we had got
+half-way up, those that had sufficient breath and energy left to express
+their opinions on kopjes in general, and this one in particular, did so.
+However, once up aloft, we were left undisturbed for the remainder of
+the day. On return to camp we found our missing sergeant (of September
+16th, at Hekpoort). He had been a prisoner in Rustenburg and had got his
+liberty when Broadwood occupied or rather re-occupied the town. Whenever
+we go out one way the Boers come in the other, and _vice versa_. Though
+we had not played an active part in the day's operations, the others
+had, and the outing was rather a success, Ridley's men capturing
+fourteen waggons with ammunition and other stuff and a few prisoners.
+
+Thursday, October 4th. Once again our fond hopes of a day's loaf were
+crushed, for it was "up in the morning early," and hie for Bethanie.
+This little native town we reached and surrounded, and then destroyed a
+mill. On the way there we came on a recently-deserted waggon (a pot of
+coffee was boiling over a small fire). This and its contents we
+destroyed; and back, which was by a different road, we came upon and
+destroyed four or five waggons by burning them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The effect of Army, or rather Yeomanry life, its fatigues and worries,
+big and small, on men hitherto unaccustomed to such things, has been
+marvellous, and productive of a topsy-turvy dom of character, after Mr.
+W. S. Gilbert's own heart. To commence with, it is curious to note that
+in many cases men who claim to have roughed it in various parts of the
+world have been amongst the worst to stand the roughing here, and while
+weak-looking striplings have developed into fine hardy men; brawny,
+massive-looking fellows have shrunk to thin and useless beings. As
+regards character, after about four to six months out here one seems to
+see his fellows in all the nakedness of truth. I have seen the genial
+man turn irritable, the generous man mean, the good-tempered man
+quarrelsome, the smart and particular man slovenly, the witty man dull,
+the bow-and-arrow ideal (looking) _sabreur_ anything but dashing in
+action, the old-womanly man indifferent to danger, and the objectionable
+man the best of comrades. These and other changes have I noted, and
+often fearfully thought how have I changed, how has it affected me, but
+
+  "There is no grace the giftie to gie me,
+   To see mysel' as ithers see me."
+
+and perhaps it is as well.
+
+
+PETTY ANNOYANCES--THE NIGGER.
+
+[Illustration: "Mails up for the Devons, Dorset & Fifes! None for the
+Sussex!!!" (Please observe the Sussex men on the right.)]
+
+Friday, October 5th. We marched into Commando Nek this morning, and are
+now camped here (when I use the word "camped," I hope you do not think I
+mean tents and such-like luxurious paraphernalia, because I don't). Our
+lines have by no means fallen in a pleasant place, being on dusty ground
+by the side of the road which goes through the Nek, along which for the
+last two hours about half-a dozen miles of convoy has been proceeding
+_en route_ for Rustenburg, and what with the yelling of the black man
+and (a hundred-times-removed) brother--I allude to the blooming
+niggers--the lowing of the oxen, and the dust--well, "it ain't all
+lavender," neither is it conducive to letter-writing or good temper. But
+to own up, the above would not trouble us a bit, if we had only received
+our mails, which we have not. I had been looking forward to a fine batch
+and relying on getting them with a faith which would have removed
+kopjes, and now I am disappointed. The bitterness of the whole thing is
+that some one has blundered, for the Fifes in front have theirs, and the
+Rough Riders behind have theirs, but we, the Composite Squadron, are
+without ours. _Donnerwetter und Potztausand!_ There, I had intended
+writing and telling you how much I am really enjoying myself, of the
+beauties of the veldt, its pretty little flowers, the multi-coloured
+butterflies and insects, the glorious open-air life we are leading and
+a' that; and here I am like a bear with a sore head, grumbling,
+grumbling, grumbling. And now the companion of my shelter and sharer of
+my mealie pap--I call him _Coeur de Lion_ (I don't mind him having the
+heart of a lion, but I object to him having its appetite)--is growling,
+and wanting to know "when the Yeomanry are going home. We came out for a
+crisis, and if the authorities call this a crisis may he be--" etc.,
+etc., as he certainly will. I have tried to pacify him with the
+following offering of the muse--but failed:--
+
+  "Great Bugs of State. Imperial Bugs,
+  The time grows heavy on our hands;
+  Are the recruiting sergeants dead?
+  Does khaki fail, or martial bands?
+  Oh, teach the vagrant how to ride,
+  The orphan boy to meet the foe;
+  May Heaven melt your stony hearts,
+  To let the foolish Yeoman go."
+
+[Illustration: I'kona.]
+
+Being under the impression that I have not made any direct reference to
+the nigger, of whom, of course, one sees a great deal, I will here give
+you my condensed opinion of this being. Left in his true state, he is, I
+believe, unobjectionable, but we have spoilt him. Our fellows have been
+too familiar with him in camp and on the march, and you know what
+familiarity breeds. He has sat or stood idle and watched with
+indifference we white men in khaki doing work he should have been set to
+do (I have borne huge sacks and other burdens, and cursed the officers,
+who have not made use of the niggers standing idly by). He has had the
+satisfaction of knowing that while he is earning three or four shillings
+a day, Thomas Atkins is earning thirteen pence. The general result is
+that he has become deucedly independent and occasionally confoundedly
+cheeky. As a remedy, I would suggest at the conclusion of this war--that
+is, assuming it does conclude--97 per cent. of the niggers employed by
+the British Government be jolly well kicked and then set in bondage for
+half-a-dozen years, more if their case requires it.
+
+Our horses are nearly all done. Mine is very lame in its hind legs. As
+far as horseflesh goes, he is the least objectionable brute I have had,
+though his ignorance and lack of appreciation of kindness is appalling.
+We have drawn horseshoes for five weeks, so it does not look like
+returning to Pretoria just yet. If we had drawn horses it would have
+been more to the purpose. We are having tea now, and have just drawn our
+biscuits for the next 24 hours. They number four thinnish ones, and
+represent three-quarter rations. Even as regards biscuits, one learns a
+good deal out here. I myself know four kinds of biscuits, all as like as
+any of Spratt's gold medal ones in appearance, but varying greatly in
+taste, and consequently, popularity.
+
+
+A WET NIGHT.
+
+                                        COMMANDO NEK,
+                                         _Sunday, October 7th, 1900._
+
+As you can see by the above, we are still here, but expect to move
+to-morrow.
+
+Yesterday was hot and windy, but, beyond one incident, uneventful. Late
+in the day indigo, watery-looking clouds in the west caused some of us
+to erect blanket shelters for the coming night, and when the evening
+having come, a flash of lightning and a distant peal of thunder,
+followed by a few spatters of rain, heralded what was to come, we wise
+virgins (pardon the simile) huddled in our booby hutches (unfortunately
+_without_ lamps) and congratulated ourselves on our astuteness. Soon it
+came, the lightning flashing, the thunder crashing, the rain pouring,
+and lastly the wind blowing a perfect tornado. The various jerry-built
+domiciles stood it well for some time, then the hutch behind us was
+blown down, and we in ours roared with glee; then another went, and
+finally the wind, not being able to get at us by a frontal attack, took
+us on the flank, and up blew one blanket, and the rifles at the ends
+wavered. Then, with cries of "Close the water-tight compartments," "Man
+the pumps," "Launch the lifeboat," "Where's the rocket apparatus?" and
+such-like remarks, as used by those in peril on the sea, we came out and
+joined in the fun. The horses, seeing us all about, thought it must be
+_reveille_, and started neighing and pawing the ground, expecting their
+grub. We were soon inside again under jury-rigging, and went off to
+sleep to the shouts of "Stable guard, here's a horse loose!" "Stable
+guard, here are three horses walking over us!" and the reply, "All
+right, I'm coming round in the captain's dinghy," or some such
+rejoinder. I could not help smiling when one of our fellows, in response
+to a cry of "Buck up, boys of the bull-dog breed!" remarked, "Hang it,
+they don't even give us kennels." In the small hours of the morning our
+hutch collapsed again, and with the blanket on my side supported mainly
+on my nose, I heedlessly slumbered on. At _reveille_ the greeting we
+gave one another was "Oh, what a night!" The Roughs were in a
+particularly happy frame of mind, though they had slept in the open, for
+their officers' tent had come down, also their sergeants', and the
+remarks of the former, "Aw, Frisby, have you got that wope?" "Where's
+that beastly peg?" "Heah, give me the hammah," "Isn't it awful?" had
+been most soothing to them. Although I did my best to protect my few
+remaining envelopes, I have just discovered three of them to be well
+gummed down. One thing must be said to the credit of the rain, _it has
+laid the dust_, and that is no small matter.
+
+Monday, October 8th. Having had no mails, we sallied forth with Mr.
+Clements in the direction of Krugersdorp, with four days' rations. My
+last charger being done, _I've got another 'oss_, and he seems rather a
+good one, though not up to my weight. Last night it came to my ears that
+the Border Regiment had got their dry canteen up from Pretoria, and it
+would be open for an hour or so, and that chocolate, jam, cocoa paste,
+tobacco and other coveted commodities would be on sale. So I was soon
+mingling with the crowd of would-be purchasers; several of our fellows
+also joined the crowd, but when it came to their turn to buy were turned
+away because they belonged not to the Border Regiment. I, however, had
+not my hat or tunic on, and as there was nothing about my shirt or
+general appearance to distinguish me from Mr. Thomas Atkins of the
+Border Regiment, I succeeded in buying four packets of chocolate and
+several tins of potted meats and jams; then, handing my purchases over
+to a friend, I again took up my position at the end of the queue and
+bought some more stuff. The prices were what is commonly known as
+popular prices, being extraordinarily low for this benighted land. As
+our four days' rations simply consist of four of the least popular brand
+of biscuits imaginable per diem and horrible stewed trek ox, these
+little purchases are coming in very handy. We camped early in the
+afternoon on the high veldt. The night was bitterly cold.
+
+
+THE GREAT EGG TRICK.
+
+                                        Wednesday, October 10th.
+
+  "When scouting and you must not tarry,
+    Of things you can borrow or beg,
+  The best, but the worst you can carry,
+    Is the excellent, succulent _egg_."
+                    _Extract from contemplated "Loot Lyrics."_
+
+To-day we have returned to Commando Nek, at least within a mile or so of
+it. (A cart has just come in from Rietfontein, and they say there are
+four bags of mails for the Composites, so we poor Sussex de'ils ought to
+have a look in.) We were advance party to-day, and a friend and I had
+the good luck to get a fine lot of eggs, of which I have not had any for
+a long time. As you may imagine, eggs are not very easily carried by the
+uninitiated, especially when he happens to be a horseman. The first time
+I managed to get some I got a couple from a farm down the next valley,
+and was debating how I should carry them, when the officer of our troop,
+who was just ahead, turned round and sternly told me to mount and get
+forward, and as he stopped for me to do so, I was rather awkwardly
+situated, my rifle being in one hand and the two eggs in the other.
+However, I seized the reins somehow or other, and did the great egg
+trick successfully. Missing other feats in which I have never once
+broken or cracked even one, to-day I eclipsed all previous
+accomplishments, inasmuch as I carried in the only two tunic pockets I
+have without holes, THREE DOZEN EGGS loose, and despite having to
+dismount and mount twice, brought them into camp without breaking or
+cracking one. Once or twice, when we had to do a trot, our
+sergeant-major asked why I was riding so curiously, and I told him I was
+feeling rather queer, but thought it would wear off when I reached
+camp--it did. A friend and I got these eggs in rather an amusing manner.
+We spotted a Kaffir village and riding to it, enquired at every kraal
+for eggs, "Eggs for the general--for Lord Roberts!" but, alas, they had
+none, "I'kona," signifying the negative. One enterprising youth,
+however, called to me as I was riding off and brought me four, for which
+I paid him sixpence. Then once again as we were going away, he called to
+us--evidently the pay, pay, pay of the absent-minded foreign devil has
+touched his savage heart--for lo and behold his neighbours had some for
+sale, and came forward with a dozen in a tin, then their neighbours came
+to the front with about a score, and yet another lot appeared with
+more--in all, we got fifty eggs, of which I pocketed three dozen, and
+carried the remainder in a handkerchief and surrendered them to our
+major, saying I had got them for him (he was in want of some), and thus
+appeased him. Had I carried them all in my _mouchoir_ I might have lost
+the lot, but we simple Yeomen "know a thing or three," as the ancient
+ballad goes.
+
+We have just drawn rations for fourteen days and been joined by some
+more M.I., so it looks as if
+
+      "Troops may come and troops may go,
+           But we go on for ever."
+
+"Go hon!" seems to be our call and counter cry.
+
+                            COMMANDO NEK, _Friday, October 12th, 1900_.
+                               _Excerpt from proposed Christmas Panto._
+                 Place--The Transvaal. Period--Victorian.
+
+_Officers' Tent._
+
+First Officer: "I heah the men are gwousing about their gwub."
+
+Second Officer: "Er--I think they get their wations wegularly."
+
+Third Officer: "Oh, dem! They're alwight. Anyhow, what do they want with
+gwub? A little more turkey and peas, and--er pass the whisky, Fwed."
+
+_The Waggon._
+
+Quartermaster-Sergeant (to kindred spirit): "Look 'ere; twelve tins of
+bacon, sixteen of jam, biscuits, and a jar of rum. Lemme see; there's
+twelve of us, and twenty of them. 'Umph, that's eight tins of bacon and
+eleven of jam for us, and four of bacon and five of jam for them. Let
+'em 'ave four biscuits a man; save the best for us--don't forget--"
+
+Kindred Spirit: "And the rum?"
+
+Quartermaster-Sergeant: "Confound it; I nearly forgot that.
+Oh--er--er--take 'em a cupful, and--er--say we're on half rations."
+
+  _Chorus from minor waggonites from round cook-house fire._
+
+  "We don't want to fight,
+    And, by Jingo, if--we--do,
+   We've got the rum, we've got the tea,
+    And we've got the sugar, too."
+
+_The Yeomen's Lines. Men just in from patrol._
+
+Man with bullet hole in hat: "Is tea up?"
+
+Enter orderly corporal with rations: "I say, you fellows, it's 'damall'
+again to day."
+
+Chorus: "!!!???***"
+
+Of course it is evident to you that the above extracts are from a
+burlesque written by a man in the ranks. Alas! there is a perpetual feud
+existent between "the brave, silent men at the back," and ditto those at
+the front, consequently any joke at the expense of the "waggon crowd" is
+always appreciated beyond its value. Sergeant-Major Hunt, who had been
+acting as quartermaster-sergeant for several weeks, did us remarkably
+well; but, alas, he has been invalided into Pretoria, and another has
+reigned in his stead, who has done evil in (or rather out of) our sight;
+being either incompetent or too clever. By the foregoing, you can see
+that I have not got much news to record. We expect some of the
+time-expired Police to join us on Sunday or Monday, and so, I fancy, we
+shall not move till they come up.
+
+
+OUR FRIEND "NOBBY."
+
+[Illustration: 'Nobby'.]
+
+We often get some of the Border men in our lines, and, like all of the
+Regulars, they are most entertaining, though their statements usually
+require a few grains of salt before swallowing. One of these bold Border
+men, known to us as "Nobby," is awfully disgusted at my bad habit of
+letter writing. As a rule I am scribbling when he strolls up, and get
+greeted with the jeering remark, "At it again." Some days back, after
+reflectively expectorating, he delivered himself thus on letter writing:
+"I don't often write. When I do, I sez 'I'm all right; 'ow's yerself?' A
+soldier's got too much to do to write blooming letters." Then he
+retailed terrible stories of Spion Kop, Pieter's Hill, and other
+affairs. Amongst his loot stories I know the following to be a fact; its
+hero has since been court-martialled. One of the men in Clements' Force,
+being _en route_, visited a house, and, producing his emergency rations
+(these are contained in a curious little tin case), threatened to blow
+the house and its occupants to kingdom-come unless they complied with
+his request for eggs, bread, coffee, etc. They complied, but,
+unfortunately for the man in question, a nigger belonging to the place
+followed him into camp, and reported the case. Mr. Thomas Atkins of the
+Line has curious notions about the distances he marches. Of course, he
+is a grand marcher, and has done remarkable distances and times in this
+campaign; still, occasionally he makes one smile, when it is a known
+fact that the Force has just covered ten miles, by emphatically swearing
+that his battalion has done twenty. For cheeriness, the fellows I have
+met would take a lot of beating, and their pride in their own particular
+regiments is a very pleasing trait, though frequently it leads them to
+be rough on other by no means unworthy corps.
+
+From the dry canteen of the Border Regiment I was fortunate enough
+yesterday to procure two dozen boxes of matches, a packet of six
+candles, a quarter-of-a-pound of Navy Cut, notepaper and envelopes. The
+latter I got none too soon, as my last gumless envelope I stuck down
+with jam. Candles are a luxury I have been without for many months, and
+matches have been worth sixpence a box. I bought them at a penny, and
+the candles at 1/6 the packet. We have the Yorkshire Light Infantry with
+us now in place of the Worcesters.
+
+Saturday, October 13th.
+
+  The law which sways our generals' ways,
+     Is mystery to me;
+  Though we of course, both foot and horse
+     Fulfil each strange decree.
+
+This morning we had _reveille_ at five and moved off up the valley at
+about seven, the Infantry going on the Magaliesberg. This being the
+case, of course our progress was slow, and the distance covered at the
+most six miles. We are going to be joined in a few days' time by
+detachments of our Police, who are coming out from the flesh pots of
+Pretoria. Two Sussex officers are coming with them and we expect about
+fifty men. To-day I had to go into a barn and pry about for arms and
+ammunition on the off chance. I did not find anything in that line, but
+got covered with fleas, a hundred or so--so I have been well occupied
+since I have been in camp. We rode through some grand crops of oats,
+wheat and barley; in one field the wheat was so high as to reach to our
+horses' ears. Where I got my fleas, or rather they got me, there was a
+grand garden with orange trees (no fruit), peaches coming on, figs also,
+and pomegranates in blossom. In a corner of this deserted garden I came
+across a real, old-fashioned English rose, of the kind usually and
+irreverently called "cabbage." The occasion seemed to call for an
+effort, so here it is:
+
+  An old-fashioned English rose
+    In the far-off Transvaal land;
+  Smelt by an English nose,
+    And plucked by an English hand.
+
+This evening we had tents served out to us. Last night we had a deal of
+thunder and lightning, but no rain. It was very close, and most of us
+slept, or tried to sleep, in our shirt-sleeves. About four days before,
+on the high veldt, we had frost on our blankets in the morning.
+
+Monday, October 15th. Yesterday we only marched a few miles, and to-day
+we have done even less. The Infantry marching along the Magaliesberg
+searching the kloofs, farms at the base, and such-like, rendering
+progress, of necessity, slow. Behind us, every day now, we leave burning
+houses and waggons. Colonel Legge, who has taken over Ridley's command,
+is doing the same a little ahead of us on our left front, and Broadwood
+likewise on the other side of the Magaliesberg. Since leaving Commando
+Nek our column has found and destroyed nearly three dozen good waggons
+and numerous deserted farms. It seems rather rough, but leniency has
+proved the stumbling block of the campaign, and now we are doing what
+any other than a British Army would have done months ago. Our camp is
+near a deserted farm. The house is, of course, now gutted out, but
+around it are fields of bearded barley, golden wheat and oats, a lovely
+grove of limes, and rows of ripening figs, peaches and red blossoming
+pomegranates. This morning I had a fine bathe in a pool near by, and was
+washing my one and only shirt, when I heard that honey was being got
+near the lime grove, so jumped into my breeks and boots, and tying my
+wet shirt round my neck, rushed up to have a look in. A lot of silly,
+laughing niggers were the principal _personae_ in the little comedy.
+There were two or three hives, and after a little smoking I went and
+helped myself; at the next hive I did pretty well, but at the next,
+after I had inserted my hand into it and taken several pieces of comb,
+the bees went for us in style. I had put on my shirt by that time,
+fortunately for me; as it was, I had them buzzing all round my head, and
+got fairly well stung; two got into one of my boots and jobbed their
+tails, which were hot, into my bare ankle, several stung my hands, arms
+and forehead, and one got me exactly on the tip of my nose. However, I
+have felt no inconvenience from any of the stings, in spite of being
+without the blue-bag. Our reinforcements of ex-Police have not turned up
+yet; we are looking forward to seeing them, because they are sure to
+bring our mails. My horse has developed a bad off hock, now. Like the
+poet:
+
+  "I never had a decent horse,
+  Which was a treat to ride,
+  But came the usual thing, of course,
+  It sickened or it died."
+
+Tuesday, October 16th. The animal referred to above went a lovely purler
+with me this morning, turning a somersault and finishing by laying
+across my right leg. It was some time before I could get help, and then
+only a man came and sat on the brute's head to keep him down. I was
+grasping his two hind hoofs, which were within a few inches of my face,
+and preventing them from "pushing it in." At length, the doctor and his
+orderly galloped up, and the latter, dismounting, grasped the horse's
+tail, and pulled him off far enough for me to free my leg. Apart from
+rather a bad back, I am all serene.
+
+Our friend, "Nobby of the Borders," visited us last night. I don't think
+that is his real name, and am not anxious to know. To us he is, and
+always will be, "Nobby." He was tired, having been on the kopjes for the
+best part of the day, but interesting as ever.
+
+  "Art thou weary, art thou langwidge?"
+
+he quoted after a reflective expectoration, which just missed my right
+foot. "That's a hymn, ain't it?" he queried with the air of a man of
+knowledge. We replied in the affirmative, and then, curious to hear his
+religious convictions, asked him about them. "Yes, I believe in
+religion," said Nobby, "I was confirmed and converted or whatever it is,
+some time ago. And I tell you, since I've been out 'ere in this war I've
+felt certain about Gawd. Spion Kop and Pieter's 'Ill made yer think, I
+can tell yer." And then waxing wrath about certain of his comrades, he
+inveighed thus: "And yet there's some ---- ---- fellers in the reg'ment
+'oo will ---- ---- say there ain't a Gawd. But those ---- ---- ----
+beggars are always ---- ---- arguing about every ---- thing." If Mr.
+Burdett-Coutts wants any corroboration in respect to his exposure of the
+inner working of certain military hospitals, let him apply to Private
+"Nobby" of the Borderers. He was an enteric patient at No. 1 Field
+Hospital, Modderspruit, and the tales he tells of his own uncared-for
+sufferings, and the even worse ones of comrades, show, alas, that the
+hospital can, and does often contain, as well as kind, self-sacrificing,
+skilful doctors, doctors and medical orderlies who are brutal, selfish,
+and absolutely callous. He speaks well of the nurses, I am glad to say.
+
+
+"THE ROUGHS" LEAVE US FOR PRETORIA.
+
+                                        NOOITGEDACHT,
+                                          (A little beyond Hekpoort).
+
+Wednesday, October 17th, 1900. Late last night our friends the Roughs
+(72nd I.Y.) received the order to return to Pretoria at once. So they
+left us this morning. And here are we, the Silly Sussex, still sticking
+to it, like flies on treacled paper. As Nobby says, "Grouse all day and
+you're happy. That's the way in the Army." He is quite right, and I am
+sure most of us Yeomen, myself unexcepted, have the true military
+spirit. For we really ought to be very good and contented in this
+charming valley, where, "if it were not for the kopjes and the snipers
+in between," we might lead a perfect Arcadian life. I shall miss our
+Roughs. Some of them are rare good fellows, and always cheery. To see a
+Rough come into camp after a good day's scouting on the farmhouse side
+of the valley, was a sight never to be forgotten. Across his saddle, _a
+la_ open scissors, would be two large pieces of wood, usually fence
+posts; oranges dropping from his nosebag; on one side of his saddle a
+fowl and a duck on the other; a small porker from his haversack; the
+ends of onions or such like vegetables would be protruding, and his
+broad-brimmed hat or bashed-in helmet would be garlanded with peach
+blossoms, resembling a joyous Bacchanalian, and the unshaven, dirty face
+underneath wreathed in smiles. We have destroyed a lot more waggons and
+houses, and lifted several hundred of cattle, besides getting some
+prisoners. How the women must hate us! Their faces are invariably
+concealed by the large sunbonnets which they wear, year in and year out.
+These articles of headgear have huge flapping sides, which their wearers
+apparently always use for wiping their eyes or noses with. This custom
+or fashion saves them a deal of time and trouble in fumbling for the
+usual inaccessible pocket. I daresay you have often read that the veldt
+is burnt by the Boers, to make our khaki visible on the black ground.
+More often than not a veldt fire is caused by accident, not design, a
+carelessly-dropped match doing the trick. As regards showing up our
+khaki, it is bad for dismounted fellows, but for the mounted men
+preferable to the sun-dried grass, for as nearly all our horses are
+bays, roans, chestnuts or blacks, they show up terribly on unburnt stuff
+and are almost invisible on the burnt.
+
+Thursday, October 18th. We are very up-to-date out here, as the
+following will show you:
+
+  'Twas uttered in vast London city
+  By _lion comiques_ without pity,
+  Provincial towns were not belated,
+  But showed they, too, were educated;
+  In many a rustic, quiet retreat,
+  Bucolics, too, would not be beat;
+  At last _It_ crossed the mighty main,
+  Did Britain's latest great inane,
+  And we out here in deep despair,
+  Have been informed that _There is 'air_.
+
+I am pleased to record that the beauty of this epoch-making remark and
+the evident subtle charm underlying it, has not yet dawned upon any of
+the troops with which I have come in contact, and so, apart from being
+aware of its existence, it has molested me in no degree. Even the
+Transvaal has its compensations. Look at the moral and intellectual
+damages one escapes--occasionally. Whiteing managed to get some rather
+good books at an untenanted house a few days ago. Byron's Complete
+Works, two Art Journal Christmas numbers (Burne-Jones and Holman Hunt),
+"Henry Esmond," and others. He gave me Henry George on "Progress and
+Poverty," and two or three works of a devotional nature. The latter I
+gave Nobby last night in the dark. Our conversations in the ranks are
+very diversified. A few days back we were arguing as to which is the
+better--a treacle pudding or a plain suet pudding with treacle. We were
+interrupted in the middle by a few snipers potting at us. This morning
+we stopped in the midst of a most interesting discussion on Aubrey
+Beardsley as a decorative artist and the influence of Burne-Jones and
+Japanese art on his earlier work, to kill fowls and loot eggs. Our bag
+was eight cacklers and six eggs--which have just proved to be, as I
+feared, addled. Lately we have had a really lazy time of it, the poor
+Infantry scouring the hills and we leisurely riding a few miles along
+the plain as advance or rearguard, and then camping by about mid-day.
+
+
+THE BREAKING UP OF THE COMPOSITE SQUADRON.
+
+Friday, October 19th. Yesterday evening the Devons and Dorsets were
+rejoined by their ex-policemen, over a hundred in number. They looked
+very fit, and appeared pleased to get on the column again. The Devons
+have their popular officer, Captain Bolitho, with them again. The Sussex
+did not turn up. However, they and the Somersets are expected to-morrow.
+As regards mails, we were not wholly disappointed. I got one batch of
+letters, bearing the home postmark of September 14th, also some
+newspapers. In one of the latter was a very florid four-column account
+by a famous "War Special," of the doings of Rundle's Starving Eighth. It
+included a picturesque description of one of those common occurrences,
+a veldt fire. "And now the flames roll onward with their
+beautifully-rounded curves sweeping gracefully into the unknown, like
+the rich, ripe lips of a wanton woman in the pride of her shameless
+beauty," and so on, at much length. I read Nobby portions of this
+article, but, alas! the hardy Parnassian mountaineer was too much for
+him. "Wot's it all about?" he queried, "I can't rumble to the bloke." I
+explained to a certain extent, for Nobby had been with the force in
+question. "Well, 'e can sling the bat," observed my Border friend, and
+we discussed and criticised various officers and the Army in general.
+The freshly-joined men brought with them nice new iron picketing pegs,
+which we who had long since lost or broken ours, eyed with covetous
+optics, and determined to possess later, if possible. Their lines were
+laid in a mealie field, and pulled-up pegs might well be expected. At
+midnight a clanking noise near my recumbent form, strongly reminiscent
+of our ancestral ghost, the dark Sir Jasper, dragging his clanking chain
+after him at that hour, as is his wont, aroused me. Of course, it was a
+horse which had pulled up his picketing peg and was searching for fresh
+fields or fodder new. I quickly grasped the situation and the peg, and
+now have no trouble when the pleasant words "'Smount. Pile arms. Off
+saddle. _Picket_ and feed!" greet my ear.
+
+Saturday, October 20th. Yesterday we returned towards Hekpoort, and the
+order for the day was "The Force will halt." Now this is one of the
+finest of life's little ironies which the Imperial Yeomen experience out
+here. "The Force will halt"--every time this cheerful intelligence is
+conveyed to us, we know we are in for something extra in the way of
+"moving on." To-day's "halt" has been a ten-mile halt, we having been
+ordered to proceed down the valley and guard a small bridle path across
+the Magaliesberg Range; Steyn, De Wet, or Delarey, being expected to try
+and get through at this particular point. The last time the Force
+halted, our halt was a 20 or 30 mile one to Bethanie. The time before a
+big patrol; and another halt consisted of a ride out several miles to
+open sundry graves which were suspected of being Mauser-leums, but were
+not.
+
+
+LIFE ON A KOPJE.
+
+                                   BLOK KLOOF,
+                                     (About half-way between Hekpoort
+                                            and Commando Nek).
+                                        _Sunday, October 21st, 1900._
+
+Can it be the Sabbath? Last night I was in charge of one of the pickets
+on top of the already referred to kopje. The ascent of that kopje, oh
+dear! This morning I was sent on to another kopje directly in front of
+the one we had occupied during the night, to find out if an infantry
+picket was holding it. The going was too awful. As usual, the distance
+was greater than it looked, and only having had half-a-messtinful of
+coffee and a biscuit for breakfast on the preceding day, and a mouthful
+of half-boiled trek ox, which had to be gulped down before ascending the
+iniquitous hill in the evening, minus tea and water, I did not half
+appreciate the lovely sunrise and view which were to be seen gratis from
+the various summits. It was a long time before I got back to our little
+encampment (I slipped down on the rocks several times from sheer
+exhaustion), and found to my delight that coffee had been kept for me. I
+wolfed it all, the grounds not excepted, and, bar stiffness and,
+paradoxical to remark, a general feeling of slackness, was soon myself
+again. Our Sussex ex-Police, about fifty in number, are at another nek
+about a mile off, under Messrs. McLean and Wynne. Of course, they have
+not brought our mails; they managed to call for them when the office was
+closed. I was sorry to hear that a friend in the Devons (Trooper
+Middleton), who went into hospital the last time we were at Pretoria,
+has since died of enteric.
+
+Monday, October 22nd. It really seems absurd giving days names out here!
+To-day, we Sussex men, who number about half-a-dozen, are being exempted
+from duty, as we expect to join our fellows who are at the other little
+pass. Once the various companies are re-formed, we shall be under a sort
+of new old _regime_. We are wondering anxiously what our fresh cooks
+will be like. The ones we have at present are not bad fellows; indeed, I
+call them Sid and 'Arry, which means an extra half-pannikin of tea or
+coffee. Yesterday afternoon we had a gorgeous thunderstorm, the
+lightning being incessant. I laid under some trees with a blanket and
+overcoat covering me, smoking, and with one hand slightly protruding,
+holding a _Tit-Bits_ paper, which I read till it became too pulpy. A
+couple of our Sussex fellows have just ridden in; their lot strike camp
+and return as far as Rietfontein this evening, and so this letter goes
+with them.
+
+Tuesday, October 23rd. Still at the same place. Yesterday, at about the
+identical hour as on the preceding day, a big thunderstorm came on us,
+but the comparison was as that of a curtain-raiser to a five-act drama,
+for yesterday's storm lasted well into the night, and drenched most of
+us thoroughly. When a few days ago we were ordered here, we were told to
+take only one blanket, and I, like most other fellows, stupidly obeyed
+and took a thin one, through which the rain comes as through a sieve. We
+were under the impression that our kit waggon would be sent after us,
+but oh dear no, that is eight miles back in Mr. Clements' camp. For
+kopje work Thomas A. gets extra rations and a daily rum allowance; we
+have been drawing less rations, and as for rum, ne'er a sniff o't. My
+overcoat is simply invaluable, and keeps me drier than some of the
+fellows. When you get wet out here, there is no one to come and worry
+you to be sure and change all your clothes, especially your socks. It
+would not do if there were, because, like the London cabbies, we never
+have any change!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Now the sun is shining, and our blankets and various raiment are drying,
+but it's 10 to 1 that about four we shall have a repetition of
+yesterday. Our present home is a veritable insect kingdom. Over, under
+and around us and our meagre belongings, crawl ants small, medium and
+big; bugs and beetles of all sects and denominations; all sorts and
+conditions of flies from the small pest to the tsezee view us with
+interest; as do also caterpillars and other centipedian and millipedian
+crawlers; wood lice and the domestic shirt ones, which, like the poor,
+we have always with us; spiders of all sizes, including tarantulas; and,
+in addition, lizards and rats, while on the kopje, baboons walk about
+chattering all sorts of unintelligible witticisms about us.
+
+Wednesday, October 24th. As predicted, we got our thunderstorm all right
+yesterday evening. For about half-an-hour the lightning never seemed to
+cease flickering about and jagging through the clouds, but the rain was
+not so bad. This morning the Fifes are sending into Rietfontein for
+mails. I hope we shall get some. I am handing this in for the post. As
+we only came here for twenty-four hours, we are not well off for
+literature or writing paper, though I brought some of the latter in my
+haversack: hence these lines. We shall soon have been here a week. The
+last time we went out for three days we remained out six weeks. I am a
+wonderful scavenger now. You should see me pitch like a hawk upon a
+dirty and torn ancient paper or book. As a result of a morning's work in
+that line, I am luxuriously reclining on my overcoat and reading a
+_Spectator_, after which I shall regale myself on the lighter and less
+solid contents of _Tit-Bits;_ later, I shall go round and swap them for
+other papers or magazines. A lot of us are dreadfully afraid of doing
+strange things when we get back to civilised life, such as asking for
+the "---- ---- salt" at dinner, diving our hands or knives into the
+dishes _immediately_ on their appearance and securing the best pieces
+after the manner of the Israelite priests with the hooks in the
+flesh-pots, commandeering fruit, fowls, eggs, or vegetables from our
+neighbours' gardens, wiping our knives and hands on our breeches or
+putties after a course, or a hundred other habits which have become so
+natural to us now. My greatest fear is that in a moment of
+absent-mindedness I shall, if tired, throw myself down on some cab rank
+where the horses are standing still and with my head pillowed on my arm
+and a foot twisted in a rein take a forty winks, so accustomed have I
+become to the close proximity of 'osses, waking and sleeping.
+
+Thursday, October 25th. This time two months hence it will be Christmas,
+and it looks as if, after all, I shall be spending it out here "far from
+home," cheerfully grumbling like a true British soldier, while the
+waggon crowd and sergeants' mess are enjoying most of _our share_ of the
+Christmas tucker and other luxuries which are sure to be sent out. And
+you away in dear old Merrie England in be-hollyed and be-mistletoe'd
+homes enjoying your turkeys, puddings, and all that goes to make
+Christmas the festive season of goodwill, when families and friends
+re-unite for a short while, and eat, drink, and gossip generally, will,
+I am sure, amidst the festival, pause now and again to think of the
+wanderers on the veldt, and more than likely toast them in champagne,
+port, sherry, elder, or orange wine. That is if we are not home. If we
+are, we shall show ourselves thoroughly capable of doing the above
+ourselves; and as for gossip, heaven help ye, gentles! I suppose the
+Christmas numbers are out already, with the usual richly-coloured
+supplements of the cheerful order, such as a blood-stained khaki wreck
+saying good-bye to his pard, or the troop Christmas pudding (I s'pose I
+ought to say duff) dropped on the ground. But a truce to all such
+thoughts, perhaps we shall get home after all, and again p'r'aps not.
+
+Eleven thirty a.m. Have just had an awful shock to my nervous system. A
+sergeant has been up and served us out with the first Yeomanry comforts
+we have ever seen, much less had. Each of us has received a 1/4-lb. tin
+of Sextant Navy Cut tobacco. For the present, I cannot write more, I am
+too overcome.
+
+(_Resumed._)
+
+I feel more composed now. We have just been told that two cases of
+"comforts" were sent out to us, but have been rifled of their best
+contents; so farewell to condensed milk, sardines, jam, etc.
+
+Last night I was on the kopje again. Paget or somebody else being
+reported as driving the Boers towards this range of hills (Magaliesberg)
+we were told to be specially vigilant. The night was as dark as Erebus,
+and my turn to post the relief came on at eleven, the post being about
+forty yards away from where we were sleeping, and the intervening ground
+a perfect rockery, the task of getting there was no particular fun. As I
+relieved the post every hour-and-a-half, I had four or five stumbling,
+ankle-twisting, shin-barking journeys. At about two we had the usual
+storm, and the accompanying lightning was most useful in illuminating me
+on my weary way. The descent of the kopje this morning was, I think,
+more fagging than the previous evening's ascent, though quicker as you
+can imagine. Then came the cause of my wrath. The Fifes, who went after
+mails, had returned, and there were none for us--of course. However,
+
+     "Hope springs eternal in the Yeoman's breast."
+
+Some more fellows have gone into Rietfontein to-day, and there is just
+the chance.
+
+An hour ago I had a most necessary shave and wash. All the pieces of
+looking-glass in the possession of the squadron having long since been
+lost or reduced to the smallest of atoms, this operation has to be
+performed without a mirror, though now and again Narcissus-like, I catch
+a glimpse of my features in the soapy, dirty water.
+
+Friday, October 26th. It rained all last night, and has hardly left off
+yet. I have not a dry rag to my name. Even my martial cloak is sopping,
+though the lining is what, considering all things, I might call dry. So
+sitting on my upturned saddle beneath a weeping (not willow) tree, on
+the branches of which my wet blanket is spread above my head, I am going
+to amuse myself by writing letters. We have a few tents here, but as it
+is fifteen to a tent, and asphyxiation is not a death we devoted band of
+five Sussex men have an inclination for, we are continuing our out-door
+life. Consequently, we are now sitting on our saturated haunches
+awaiting sunshine above, smoking our pipes, and wondering when the war
+will come to a genuine end. What a number of officers have gone home
+sick--of it! Our friends the Fifes are awfully good fellows, and the
+best managed Yeomanry Squadron I have seen out here. Yesterday evening
+we were guests at a little sing-song round their fire, and partakers of
+their hospitality in the way of hot cocoa. Alas, the rain speedily
+brought what promised to be an enjoyable evening to an end, and it was
+every man to his own tent, booby hutch, or cloak and blanket. I was
+actually the recipient of two letters and a parcel yesterday evening,
+thanks undoubtedly to a mistake somewhere or other. The making of a
+correct declaration of the contents of a parcel and their approximate
+value, as required by the postal authorities, and the sticking of the
+same on the parcel which is to gladden the heart of the man in khaki far
+away, is, I fear, a dangerous thing to do. Take, for example, a package,
+the contents of which are veraciously announced on the affixed slip as
+"Tobacco, cigarettes, chocolate, pipe, and shirt; value L1 10s."--your
+friend's chances of getting it are about 50 to 1 against; but the same
+parcel with the brief announcement "Shirt and socks; value 5s." would
+probably reach him some day. A Fife friend tells me he now and again
+gets a large medicine bottle of--well, what would it be for a Scotchman?
+well-corked and marked "Developing Solution."
+
+Saturday, October 27th. Still at the above address. Nothing of note to
+record. Flies an awful nuisance on us and everything. Fellows would not
+believe that the jam ration has been so reduced in bulk by flies. Some
+people won't believe anything--fortunately I had my share first, and
+perhaps I did take a _leetle_ too much. No news of possibility of
+getting home by Christmas or the New Year. I feel vicious, and somebody
+must suffer, so here goes.
+
+N.B.--I hold the late Alfred Lord Tennyson partly responsible.
+
+   THE YEOMAN.
+
+     (Dedicated to the Fife, Dorset, Devon, Somerset, and Sussex
+     Imperial Yeomanry Squadrons.)
+
+     "The War has grown flat, stale, and unprofitable as a topic for
+     conversation."--_Extract from Editorial Notes in "Black and
+     White," September 20th._
+
+  We came from many a town and shire,
+    From road, and street, and alley,
+  And, filled with patriotic fire,
+    Around the flag did rally.
+
+  For many thousand miles we sailed,
+    Till reached was Afric's strand;
+  At Cape Town for some weeks we stayed,
+    Not yet on foeman's land.
+
+  At last we got the word to move,
+    To join the fighting army;
+  And so we left our peaceful groove,
+    With fighting lust half balmy.
+
+  Away we marched o'er dusty ways,
+    Through spruit and blooming donga,
+  For chilly nights and burning days,
+    With feelings ever stronger.
+
+  We passed Milishy on the road,
+    And heard their imprecations
+  Because they bore the Empire's load
+    Upon communications.
+
+  At last we joined Lord Roberts' force,
+    And later we did sever,
+  And got attached to bold Mahon's Horse,
+    For we go on for ever.
+
+  With Hamilton and Mahon we went
+    Due east to wet Balmoral;
+  Where oh! an awful night we spent.
+    What ho! the victor's laurel!
+
+  Then west we rode to catch De Wet--
+    We thought 'twas now or never;
+  But he, in his particular way,
+    And we, go on for ever.
+
+  To Rustenburg we went with Mahon
+    The wily Boers to scatter;
+  Burnt many a farm and useful barn,
+    And got--our clothes a-tatter.
+
+  Then later, we did join Clements,
+    From him to part, oh, never!
+  For wars may cease, and wars commence,
+    But we go on for ever.
+
+  We grumble, grumble, as we roam
+    Beside the hills or river,
+  For troops we hear are going home,
+    But we go on for ever.
+
+  We steal (we call it loot out here)
+    The foeman's fowls and tucker,
+  And now and then we come off well,
+    And now and then a mucker.
+
+  We've marched by night to catch the foe,
+    Yet spite each bold endeavour,
+  Crises may come and crises go,
+    But _this_ goes on for ever.
+
+  At home, first China, then elections,
+    Have claimed their keen attention;
+  Now football, crimes, and other things--
+    The War they seldom mention.
+
+  Soon our nearest and our dearest
+    Won't think our generals clever,
+  If we and this confounded War
+    Keep going on for ever.
+
+Sunday, October 28th. Last night we ascended Avernus again, and did the
+usual guard on the summit. Of course, we had some rain and its
+concomitants. Apart from that, and the circumstance of the
+sergeant-major of the Dorsets, who is 6-ft. 3-ins., and scales 15 stone,
+treading on my head in the dark in mistake for a rock, nothing of note
+occurred. As regards the incident alluded to, it lends significance to
+my being occasionally referred to as "Peter," thanks to my suggestive
+initials, P.T.R. Hence it seems natural for me to be mistaken for a
+rock. Still, I trust these mistakes will not often happen.
+
+On Monday (October 29th), Captain McLean, of rowing fame, and Lieutenant
+Wynne marched up to Blok Kloof with the ex-Policemen of the Sussex
+Squadron, and we, having first been paraded before Sir Elliot--who in a
+few kind words severed his connection with us, to our regret, as
+captain--rejoined our former comrades. The other squadron of the 7th
+Battalion of West Somerset Yeomanry, under Captain Harris, was left for
+duty at Rietfontein.
+
+Colonel Browne (we were all pleased to hear of his promotion this month)
+having received orders to withdraw from the Kloof and rejoin Clements at
+Hekpoort, gave the order for us to be ready to march off at dusk. Soon
+after sunset, rain, which had been threatening all day, commenced to
+fall, and we had a rather uncomfortable night march to Hekpoort. We
+reached there at midnight, turned-in on the wet veldt for a few hours
+and were up again at four. That day we were rearguard and going in a
+south-westerly direction marched through Hartley's Nek (in the
+Witwatersberg) and encamped the other side.
+
+
+DEATH AND BURIAL OF CAPTAIN HODGE.
+
+On October the 31st we were right flank to Cyperfontein, and came in for
+the inevitable sniping. Mushrooms, which were very abundant on the veldt
+we were traversing, were collected by many of us, and on our arrival in
+camp cooked in a stew or fried in Maconochie bacon fat. We also came
+upon two Boer waggons under some trees, from which we obtained a huge
+loaf of mealie bread and some useful enamelled tin ware--likewise a
+basin of excellent custard. Several women thereupon came up from a house
+not far off and protested against our pillaging the waggons, as they
+only contained their property. "And their men?" we queried. They had
+none, knew nothing about any. A cock crowed in the neighbourhood, was
+located and promptly commandeered, and at the same moment, Boleno (not
+his real name) triumphantly emerged from one of the waggons with a fine
+pair of spurs and a quantity of tobacco; the simple Boer women had to
+accept us as unbelievers.
+
+Further afield and unknown to us, the Fifes were having a warm time. It
+was only when we got into camp that we heard from our old friend,
+Sergeant Pullar, that their gallant and popular Captain (Chapell-Hodge
+of the 12th Lancers) had been severely wounded in retiring his men from
+a kopje to which they had advanced in scouting. He died the following
+night at Vlakfontein,[6] and was buried the next (Friday) morning.
+
+         [Footnote 6: It was this Vlakfontein which was destined to
+         become notorious in the later history of the war. On the 29th
+         of last May (1901), the 7th Battalion I.Y. lost heavily in a
+         desperate fight at this place. Of the many gallant officers
+         and men killed, all the members of the Battalion, past and
+         present, must specially deplore the death of Surgeon-Captain
+         Welford, one of the kindest and most self-sacrificing of men.
+         Also Captain Armstrong, who joined the Battalion from
+         Strathcona's Horse, as lieutenant, in November last.
+         Lieutenant Pullar, writing to me in reference to the above,
+         recently remarked: "It is the same Vlakfontein where the poor
+         7th Battalion lost so heavily in May, and I fear there must
+         be many other graves there now."]
+
+As my horse had gone a bit lame, I was riding with the convoy that day,
+and so was able to wait and attend the funeral. I doubt the Fifes will
+ever forget that day.
+
+With _reveille_ rain began to pour in torrents. The advance and flanking
+parties moved out of camp, the Fifes had been told off for rearguard, on
+account of the funeral. Presently the convoy began to get under way with
+a lowing of oxen and cracking of whips, mingled with the bleating of
+captured flocks of sheep and goats. Standing under a tree beside my
+horse I waited; through the blinding rain I could see the ox teams by
+our Yeomanry lines swinging round in response to the niggers' shouts and
+whips, and with a gurring and creaking the waggons one by one took their
+place in the lengthy procession, disappearing in the dense atmosphere.
+One tent had been left standing, right and left of its entrance were
+drawn up the firing party and the rest of the squadron; leaving my horse
+I fell in with them. The sergeants presently emerged bearing on a
+stretcher, sewn up in the ordinary brown military blanket, the mortal
+remains of their captain. Then through the never-ceasing rain, splashing
+through pools of muddy water sometimes ankle deep, we slowly made our
+way to the back of a farm some fifty yards away, where at the feet of
+some huge blue gum trees, a grave had been dug. Several of the firing
+party who had no cloaks had their waterproof sheets over their
+shoulders, I noticed one man with a corn sack. Colonel Browne read the
+Service, the rain splashing on his little Prayer Book. The body was
+reverently lowered by means of a couple of ammunition belts from a
+machine gun, and the three rounds cracked strangely in the rain-laden
+air, the water dripping from the rifles. After the firing, one of the
+party, a dour-looking Scot, void of all sentiment I should have thought
+(God forgive me!) stooped, and picking some objects out of the mud,
+thrust them into a handy pocket. They were his three empty cartridge
+cases. Then the Fifes sorrowfully marched away, leaving their beloved
+captain behind them. Happy Fifes to have possessed so good an officer!
+Unhappy Fifes to have lost him!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Returning to where my poor saturated horse was miserably standing, I
+mounted and slowly rode along with the convoy. After going some miles, I
+was pleased to see the waggons turning off the slippery track on to the
+veldt and outspanning. Seeing close by the road, lying on the site of a
+former camp, sheets of corrugated iron from the roofs and other parts of
+a few wrecked and deserted houses in the neighbourhood, I dismounted and
+secured two large bent ones (these placed on the ground like an inverted
+V form excellent shelters for tentless men), and proceeded to carry them
+and drag my steed towards the camp. It was a long way and an awful fag.
+At length through the pelting rain, there bore down upon the Sussex
+Yeomanry lines two large bent sheets of galvanised iron, cursing
+horribly and followed by a dripping horse. Suddenly the sheets fell
+clattering to the wet ground and his comrades beheld the writer of these
+immortal letters. Whiteing, Boleno, and the rest of our special clique
+or mess, who had arrived before me had already commenced constructing
+Mealie Villas (being the name given to our family residence wherever we
+are). The ground was, of course, saturated by the rain, which continued
+unceasing all day. Huddled together in the cribbed, cabined and confined
+space of our "home, sweet home," half-naked, but fairly cheerful, we
+passed the time in everlastingly patching up the leaks and defects in
+the construction of the Villas. The next morning we had _reveille_ at
+six, and turned out promptly to feed the wretched horses; the poor,
+woe-begone looking creatures, hardly one of which was properly picketed,
+were standing expectantly amid a perfect cobweb of muddy, tangled
+picketing ropes in the quagmire, which represented their lines. One of
+the fellows, who had passed the night under our ox waggon, on lifting
+his rain-sodden blanket, found to his surprise and disgust a fine
+iguana, about four feet long, nestling against his body. The sun began
+to smile upon us, and we advanced to a better camping ground a few miles
+further on at Leeuwfontein. Here we outspanned and soon had our wet
+blankets, clothes, and other articles spread out on the veldt drying.
+The Force remained halted on Sunday, though we Yeomanry were sent out on
+a foraging patrol and returned with ducks and oranges galore. Late in
+the day, "Nobby," sallow, and with a week's beard on him, paid us a
+visit. He told us he had been bad and was dying, but bucked up at the
+sight of our rifles, which he pronounced as being in a disgustingly
+dirty state. "I'd like to be yer sergeant-major. I'd make yer sit up,"
+quoth he indignantly, and then proceeded to give us the history of his
+own gun, and the godliness of its cleanliness. He also related to us
+portions of the history of the Border Regiment. "We're the Unknown
+Regiment," remarked Nobby, half bitterly, "but they ought ter know us
+now, we was with ole 'Art's Irish Brigade in Natal," and then came
+anecdotes of Pieter's Hill, and other places. Of course, he told us of
+their great marching feats, and wound up thus: "The other day Clements
+said to our ole man, 'Give the Borders a new pair of boots an' a ration
+of rum, an' they'll march to h----." Then after a pause, "Of course,
+that's a bit o' bunkum to keep us goin';" but his manner showed he was
+proud to repeat it nevertheless. On the 5th, we advanced to Doornkom,
+getting a fine herd of cattle from a kloof on our way, and having sundry
+necessary bonfires, principally of oat hay.
+
+[Illustration: CONSOLATION.
+
+SUSSEX YEOMAN: "_It don't look like clearing off._"
+
+FIFE YEOMAN (_with chattering teeth_): "_I dinna care. It's juist the
+same or waur for them_ (the Boers). _I hope they'll a' dee o'
+pneumonia._"]
+
+On Sunday (November 11th) we had some lively scrapping at the
+commencement of our march, which was towards Krugersdorp. During the
+day some of our Sussex fellows came upon an untenanted shanty,
+containing scores of packets of magnificent candles. They brought away
+all they possibly could, and were very generous to the rest of us with
+them. That evening Mealie Villas was brilliantly illuminated, and later
+I had the pleasure of presenting Dr. Welford and Captain Cory with a
+packet of these unobtainable articles. Another man who had been on a
+ration fatigue at the A.S.C. waggons in the afternoon managed to take
+away a box of four dozen tins of apricot jam, _not_ down on our
+requisition. To "do" the A.S.C. is a virtuous deed. So we have dined
+well lately, though at the present time of writing I am rather tired of
+apricot preserve.
+
+[Illustration: On Pass.
+
+This depicts three of ours just going into the town--and the beauty &
+sadness of the whole thing is--they are got up to kill.]
+
+This day, Monday (November 12th), the column marched into Krugersdorp.
+We were rearguard and just as we left the site of the camp, which had
+been in a most picturesque spot, got bullets whistling by us and
+knocking up the dust round our horses. Two of our men out of four, who
+had relieved an infantry picket at _reveille_ are missing. The snipers
+followed us about half the distance to the dorp and we had quite a warm
+little rearguard action. I am just off to post this in the town.
+
+
+CAMP LIFE AT KRUGERSDORP.
+
+                                        KRUGERSDORP,
+                                          _Saturday, Nov. 17th, 1900._
+
+We are still camped within about three miles of this town, and expect to
+remain here till Hart's Column returns. It went out yesterday after
+having had a five weeks' rest. Amongst the mounted men were the Wilts,
+Bucks, Yorks, and Suffolk Squadrons of Yeomanry. I think I told you in
+my last we arrived here on Monday after a lively time as rearguard, the
+Boers opening fire on us as soon as we had started to leave the place we
+had camped at. That is the worst of pitching upon picturesque spots for
+camps. We lost two men, who, however, eventually turned up safe and
+sound, although some of their captors had shown a strong inclination to
+shoot them, but, thanks to Delarey's brother, the bloody-minded minority
+were disappointed. The snipers hung persistently on to our tail,
+occupying each ridge and kopje as we retired from them. As soon as I had
+picketed and fed my horse, I obtained leave and went into Krugersdorp,
+passing on the way mines all the worse for want of wear, and the "Dubs"
+and others under canvas. In the town I dined at what I should imagine
+was a Bier Halle in the piping days of peace, but which in the sniping
+days of war is an underground eating room run by Germans, who charge a
+great deal for a very little, and find it far more profitable than
+gold-mining.
+
+I procured some tins of condensed milk, golden syrup, and jam for our
+larder, and volumes by Ruskin, Meredith, Thackeray, and Kipling, for my
+own somewhat small library. With these I proudly staggered back to camp,
+aware of the royal and well-merited reception which awaited me, and
+which I got. Whiteing was quite overcome at the sight of Ruskin and
+Thackeray, while another friend implored permission to have a dip in
+"The Seven Seas" (which seems a big request, I doubt not, to the
+uninitiated).
+
+I forgot to mention that on my return to camp I found mails awaiting me.
+Thus passed a pleasant day. Tuesday I spent in camp, writing replies to
+my kind correspondents, reading and re-reading my letters and papers. We
+hear the C.I.V.'s are home, good luck to 'em, and though I have not read
+the papers I can imagine to a slight extent the enthusiastic welcome
+they were accorded. The knowledge that we have done our duty will be
+enough for us; never mind the brazen bands, the free drinks, the
+dyspeptical dinners, the cheers and jingo songs. Suffice it for us if
+you will let us quietly alight from the train and get us home, to our
+ain firesides. I fear I am rather bitter to-day; but, Christmas is
+coming, and the date of our return no man knoweth! On Thursday we all
+had to turn out to be inspected by "Bobs." If the turn out was to give
+him an idea of our strength as a fighting force the whole thing was
+"tommy-rot" for we paraded as strong as possible in numbers. The halt,
+sick and the blind, so to speak, were in the ranks, every available
+horse being used to mount them. Thus we turned out, our officers
+anxiously making the centre guides prove, and issuing special orders to
+us not to crowd when marching past in column of squadrons and all that
+sort of thing. Then we marched to the parade ground, cow gun, field
+guns, pom-poms, Infantry, Yeomanry, and Colonial mounted troops. After a
+short wait a group of mounted beings appeared in the distance and
+approached the force. We carried arms, and the infantry presented them.
+The great little man and his staff passed along the front of the force,
+and then cantered away, and the show was over, after having in all
+occupied about five minutes. In the way of guards and pickets we are not
+over-worked, the regiment having to supply a picket of one officer and
+twenty men every night, which means each squadron comes on every fourth
+night. The job is, also, what Tommy would call a distinctly "cushey"
+one.
+
+On Friday I went into the town and succeeded in securing a fine stock of
+things for our larder, including a slab of Genoa cake, which I purchased
+at the Field Force canteen, which has just been opened. In the evening
+we entertained Sergeant Pullar, of the Fifes, at tea. This, though I
+should be modest over it, was really a grand, indeed sumptuous repast.
+Many a time has this gentleman given us biscuits on the veldt in our
+hours of need, papers also to read, and so we meant to do the thing
+well, and we did. In the morning a special invitation was sent from the
+corporals of the Sussex Squadron residing at Nos. 1, 2 and 3, Mealie
+Villas, requesting the pleasure of Sergeant Pullar's company to
+afternoon tea, parade order optional. We formed a table of biscuit
+boxes, which we covered with two recently-washed towels, and then I
+managed to obtain a fine effect in the way of table decoration by taking
+the spotted red handkerchief from my neck and laying it starwise as a
+centre-piece. Then, having begged, borrowed and otherwise obtained all
+the available tin plates, we covered the table with sardines, tinned
+tongues, pickles, condensed milk, jams, butter, and cake. Sergeant
+Pullar having arrived with his plate, knife, fork and spoon in a
+haversack, we sat down on S.A.A. Cordite Mark IV. boxes, to a rattling
+good feed, which guest and hosts did full justice to. Then it rained,
+and we had to rig up our blanket hutches in record time, while our guest
+sped to his tent. Thus ended an auspicious evening. The next morning we
+had the deluge, for it poured in torrents, our wretched blanket shelters
+proving far from rain-tight. But the real trouble was when we found we
+were being swamped, the water flowing in and sopping us and our
+belongings, the latter being by far the most important. Upon this I
+turned out and found the whole camp was a swamp, and all the shovels
+being used for digging trenches. Not to be done, I collared a meat
+chopper from the Dorset cook-house, and started constructing trenches
+for all I was worth, specially draining my part of the villa where the
+library was in great danger. The rain ceasing after a while, the other
+fellows emerged like so many slugs, and soon under my supervision (was I
+not articled to an architect once?) an elaborate system of drainage,
+consisting of trenches and dams, was constructed around the villas. We
+had a bit of a row with our neighbours, who complained that we had
+drained all our water on to them. A lot of unnecessary damming was
+indulged in. However, from our point of view the thing was a great
+success. Later the sun came out, and we dried all our possessions. Great
+institution the sun! The next day being the Sabbath, of course, we had
+to have a scrap, or at least try to have one. So we had a _reveille_ at
+2 a.m., in order to surround a house where about forty Boers had been
+reported by some wretched being. On turning out, several of us found our
+horses had disappeared during the night, mine being among the number. So
+as not to be out of the fun, I took the first wandering brute I found,
+and fell in. All this took place in the dark, and later, when it became
+lighter, it was most amusing to see what some of us had secured. Mine
+proved to be an officer's charger, but no goer. When I got back to the
+lines, I found an infuriated officer's servant marking time in front of
+me till we were dismissed, when he approached and wrathfully spoke to
+me, stating that the horse had a sore back and was lame in three legs.
+As he gave me no chance to offer an apology or explanation, we slanged
+and abused one another for about ten minutes, to the delight of the
+squadron, and then parted so as not to miss other similar rows. The
+result of the morning's work was, I hear, two Boers captured. For this
+we all laid on the wet ground behind anthills and other cover for about
+two hours, waiting for them to come our way; while Legge's crowd
+pom-pommed and field-gunned them for about an hour. The Boers also used
+a good deal of ammunition, doing us no damage, but getting away through
+the usual missing link in the chain. This afternoon (Monday, 19th) we
+received mails, my share being three letters, and some papers.
+
+[Illustration: A Peep at our Domestic Life.
+
+Tomkyns de Vere B.A. 'bucking up' the fire, Boleno Soles triumphantly
+approaching with more fuel, the district being a woodless one. White
+with a soul above cooking, his not eating, reading Marcus Aurelius in
+No. 1 Mealie Villas.]
+
+Tuesday, Nov. 20th. I have just heard that we are off for a ten weeks'
+trek to-morrow, so I must bring this to a conclusion, and get into town
+to post it, and also to procure some more stores. It may or may not
+interest you to know that of all the jams we have had out here (and we
+have been served out with at least a score of different brands) the very
+best, made from the most genuine fruit, were the conserves of two
+Australian firms. These two firms are head and shoulders above all other
+makers bar none. "Advance, Australia" is right.
+
+Well, here we are, and here we are going to remain, for how long the
+Fates only know. Sometimes in my most optimistic moments I cheerfully
+look forward to spending the golden autumn of my life in the land of my
+birth. As I write this evening by candlelight, in our rude substitute
+for a tent, I can hear the chorus of "The miner's (why not a yeoman's?)
+dream of home," which comes wafted to us from the Fife lines. As you
+will, I hope, receive this by Christmas, I take the opportunity to wish
+you and all kind friends a right merrie Christmas and a prosperous new
+year. For us no holly will prick nor mistletoe hang. If Santa Claus
+comes it will probably be with a Mauser, and for some, alas! obituary
+cards will take the place of the coloured productions of Bavarian firms.
+But come weal, come woe, where'er we be on that day, I can guarantee you
+our sentiments will be easily summed up by the following:
+
+  "Our heart's where they rocked our cradle,
+    Our love where we spent our toil;
+  And our faith and our hope and our honour,
+    We pledge to our native soil!"
+
+
+LADY SNIPERS AT WORK.
+
+                                   KRUGERSDORP (again),
+                                     _Wednesday, November 28th, 1900._
+
+We returned here on Monday, after having been out for about a week's
+cruise on the troubled veldt, and, in spite of the rumour that we were
+to be treking again this morning, we are still here. I will endeavour to
+give you the usual veracious account of our doings. I say "veracious"
+advisedly, as oftentimes, after having seen something extra strong in
+the Ananias-Sapphira-Munchausen-Gulliver-de-Rougemont epistolary line
+from some gentleman in khaki to the old folks at home, in a London or
+provincial paper, I feel that I must give up letter writing altogether,
+as by now those at home must have discovered that such effusions are
+often seven-eighths lies, and the remaining one-eighth truth, simply
+because the scribe's powers of invention have failed him, owing to the
+great strain. Only yesterday I saw in a certain local paper such an
+epistle from one of our fellows, who, owing to various circumstances,
+only joined us in September last, and has now joined the estimable
+waggon crowd. From it I gathered that we had fought incessantly for
+several days, on one occasion being without food or water for
+thirty-nine hours, etc., and afterwards for our magnificent behaviour
+had been called up to the general's tent, warmly congratulated by him,
+and _presented with a pot of jam each_. So my diffidence about writing
+will be easily understood, I am sure. And now for the celestial truth.
+
+On Wednesday last (November 21st) we had an unexpected _reveille_ at
+1.30 a.m., and set out with four days' supplies for Somewherefontein
+(where, we did not know). A "revally" at such an hour is, as you may
+imagine, by no means devoid of interest; I don't know whether you have
+ever experienced one; if you have you know all about it; if not you have
+a great experience lacking. There was I, collecting and packing our
+larder in an oat sack, my miniature Bodleian and other various
+possessions in another, dismantling our blanket shelter, and a hundred
+other things, including feeding and saddling up my Rosinante, and
+then--"Stan' to your 'osses!" We paraded smartly, and after a short
+wait, moved off as right flank. A few hours after dawn there was
+fighting in front of the column, but not our way, Legge's crowd working
+on a parallel road and some way ahead of us. At about mid-day we reached
+a wonderfully fertile village (Sterkfontein), and, imagining it to be
+unoccupied, our Provost-Marshal and his satellites rode forward to
+select a site for our camp, and got well sniped from some of the houses.
+Thereupon Number Eight came up, and at comparatively speaking short
+range, opened fire and 15-poundered them. To us, who were watching the
+show, the sight was a most interesting one. Crash through a house would
+go one shell, another would account for something else, and flames and
+smoke soon announced burning thatches and oat-hay stacks. The Mausers
+soon ceased from troubling, and eventually we entered the fontein. To
+our surprise no snipers were captured, and it was asserted that the
+firing had been done by the ladies, who, with children, were the only
+persons found there. However, as no firearms or signs of their having
+done so, were found, the matter, like most things where the wily Boer is
+concerned, remains a mystery. It is a fact that lady snipers do exist.
+For some time the Borders had in their guard-room, during our last trip,
+amongst the various prisoners, a lady sniper they had bagged while doing
+the Magaliesberg. There was not much of the Jeanne d'Arc about her. I
+saw her once or twice. She was a regular barge, and of great beam; her
+face was concealed by the usual kindly sun-bonnet.
+
+     (_Note._--Our Regimental Sergeant-Major has just gone by, with
+     white canvas shoes and slacks on. This is most reassuring as
+     regards not moving off to-day).
+
+Well, we camped near the village, which lay in a sort of saucer, being
+surrounded by kopjes. On one of these our cow gun, yclept "Wearie
+Willie," was hauled; it took fifty-six oxen to get him up there. The
+Boers, whom we had surprised, were very sick at our unexpected visit,
+and, had they only known, would undoubtedly have attempted to hold the
+place a bit. As it was, they hung about far off. It rained a perfect
+deluge that night, and my blanket roof collapsing I went to sleep with
+it over me as it fell, lullabyed by the soft cursings of my neighbours
+of 1 and 2 Mealie Villas, who were in like plight. The next morning we
+were to have had _reveille_ at 5.30 and proceed to Rietfontein 12. (They
+have to number these places out here. You probably have noticed the
+innumerable Blandsfonteins, Hartebeestefonteins, Rietfonteins,
+Bethanies, etc., in the Transvaal and Orange River Colony.) But Brother
+Boer willed it otherwise, and about an hour before the fixed time I was
+"revallyed" by the banging of guns distant and near. I arose to my feet
+and the fact that Mr. Delarey was trying to shell us, as a not far
+distant crack of an exploding shell testified. Near me, from under a
+rain-soaked blanket a sun-bronzed face appeared and a sleepy voice
+inquired "are the _burchers_ (burghers) shelling us?" The seeker after
+knowledge was informed they were. We soon got the order to turn out,
+saddle up and escort the guns. This we quickly did. As we moved out a
+few shells skimmed over the kopjes and lobbed themselves where our lines
+had been. By this time our field guns and cow gun were well at it, and
+the Boers were shifting a bit. We dismounted, lined the kopje we had
+ridden up to, and watched the work of our gunners. Presently from half
+up the hill in front of us, I saw a flickering white flash and
+pom-pom-pom-pom-pom-pom went Delarey's gun of that name, followed by a
+whistling over our heads and half-a-dozen cracks behind, where, looking
+round, I saw the same number of puffs of smoke and earth arise from the
+ground. This went on for a while, they were trying to get on our led
+horses, I believe. I afterwards heard some went fairly close, also that
+the general had one very near. _Apropos_ of this pom-poming, our
+colonel, who had had their missiles all round him and had quite ignored
+them, as is his invariable custom, strolled up to one of our officers
+and the conversation turning on to pom-poms, languidly remarked: "Ye-es,
+I don't think they do much weel destwuction--er-er--it is pwincipally
+their demowalising effect." The demoralising effect on himself having
+been so very non-evident, this remark struck me as being distinctly
+good. Our "Wearie Willie" snapped out a remark now and again, and
+apparently always to the point. Later, Legge's men occupied the ridge
+opposite and chivvied the enemy for several miles; we, returning to
+camp, watered our horses and, twenty minutes later, set out on a
+reconnaissance with the guns in hopes of finding some snipers in the
+vicinity of Hekpoort. We returned bagless. That night it rained, as
+usual, and as we had not had time to rig up any shelters, or even dry
+our blankets, we came in for another good wetting. At two o'clock the
+next (Saturday) morning we had to turn out and stand to our horses.
+"Steady, boys, steady, we always are ready"--_afterwards_; you know our
+good old British style. But Frater Boer had had a belly full the
+preceding day, his losses in killed and wounded being considerable, I
+hear. Legge's men swear to have buried eight, and Clements said one of
+our shells hit a gun of their's. That night we had the fashionable and
+seasonable rain again. (Please, in future, remember we have this every
+night, and so I will refrain from too many references to it). On Sunday
+we moved off for Rietfontein, No. 1001. We formed the rearguard and
+expected a bit of harassing, the country being most favourable for such
+operations on the part of the enemy. But they left us alone, though they
+were undoubtedly about unseen. As several waggons broke down, and had to
+be mended or burned, we had to grill on the kopjes for hour upon hour,
+cursing the convoy with all our might. Presently the inevitable question
+"What's the date?" elicited the fact that it was the 25th. (You can
+imagine the chorus "A month to Christmas!" and Sunday.) Sunday, and you
+probably in your frock coat and patent boots, luxuriously reclining in
+an upholstered pew, listening to promises of peace and rest, or standing
+up half thinking of the good meal to follow, and singing
+
+  "I came to Jesus as I was,
+     Weary, and worn, and sad;
+   I found in Him a resting place,
+     And He hath made me glad."
+
+And I, there on those hard rocks, with a perpendicular sun above me,
+mechanically watching the distant hills, but seeing with strong mental
+eyes a church porch with roses and creeper over it and noting the
+Sabbath silence which presently would be broken softly by the voices of
+the worshippers within:
+
+  "Come unto Me, ye weary,
+   And I will give you rest."
+
+I think to stand outside a church and hear the worshippers within is to
+get one of the most pleasant impressions possible; somehow it always
+strikes me that one imagines the people within to be so much holier,
+indeed more spiritual, than they really are. But all this looks either
+like preaching or scoffing, and it is neither. It is really the result
+of a desire to push myself into the home life you good people are still
+leading, somehow or other. An excusable offence after all, my Masters!
+Having re-cursed the tail of the convoy, it at last moved forward, and
+we, having allowed it so much grace, did the same. At the outskirts of
+the village, which the column had moved through, the last waggon--an
+overloaded one--collapsed, and once again we manned the heights. I was
+sent out with a couple of men to a post a little in advance of the rest
+of our troop, and, after an hour, about a mile off saw four Boers
+nonchalantly riding toward the other side of the dorp. These were
+followed by two more. I sent in and reported this, and shortly after we
+moved off, unsniped. Undoubtedly these beggars had been waiting for the
+column to pass, so that they could return and have a Sunday dinner and a
+quiet evening, having had rather a rough week, and it was only owing to
+the above-mentioned waggon breaking down that we had a glimpse into the
+ways of our enemy. Our camp was not far off, and we go there at about
+six; some of the column were in by eleven in the morning. The amount of
+burning done _en route_ was almost appalling. The next day we marched
+into Krugersdorp once again, passing several marshy spots where arum
+lilies were blooming in rich profusion. We reached here at noon; the
+Dorsets and Devons who formed the rearguard had a bit of scrapping, and,
+thanks to a straggling convoy, did not get into camp till close on
+midnight, and so, of course, got a rare soaking from the usual rain.
+Here I have received a few belated mails, and live in hopes of getting
+the latest. I have also read in some of the papers of the welcome home
+of the C.I.V.'s.
+
+  "You've welcomed back the C.I.V.'s,
+  Back from their toil to home and ease;
+  The war is going pretty strong,
+  _We've_ bade adieu to 'sha'n't be long';
+  And you at home across the seas,
+  Don't quite forget _us_, if you please."
+
+The following poetic outburst requires a little explanation. We have had
+the khaki this and the khaki that, and it has just occurred to me a
+khaki Omar Khayyam would not be out of place, for of a truth one needs a
+_soupcon_ of philosophy out here occasionally. With this idea in my
+head, and having a little leisured ease, I have set out to minister a
+long-felt want. Not, however, having my Persian "Fitzgerald" by me, I
+must ask your indulgence for any grave discrepancies in the text.
+
+  THE RUBAIYAT OF OMAR KHAYYAM.
+
+  (_For the use of British Soldiers on the Veldt._)
+
+  The night has gone, the golden sun has riz,
+  The khaki men have all begun to friz,
+    Cleared is the mushroom camp of yesterday,
+  And forth they go upon the Empire's biz.
+
+  Oh! hopes of home that with each morning rise,
+  Oh! wondrous legends which wild minds devise;
+    One thing is certain, and the rest is lies,
+  The Yeoman, once enlisted, often sighs.
+
+  Oh! fool to cry "The Boer is on the run,"
+  He is, we know, and _ain't forgot his gun_;
+    And often from the rocky kopje side
+  He stops and pots--your mess is minus one.
+
+  I sometimes think that nought whiffs on the wind
+  As strong as where some dying steed reclined;
+    That any casual stranger passing by
+  The place, if asked, again could eas'ly find.
+
+  Alas! that Mausers are not turned to hoes,
+  That Christmas comes, and with the pudding goes;
+    And we stick here for ever and a day,
+  When we return (or _if_) _who knows_--WHO KNOWS?
+
+  Oh! Pard, could thou and I with Holmes conspire
+  To round De Wet up with his force entire;
+    Would we not smash it all to bits--and then
+  Get somewhere nearer to our heart's desire.
+
+  A pipe o' baccy 'neath a leafy tree,
+  A recent mail from far across the sea,
+    No one to worry for an hour or two,
+  And veldt, indeed, were Paradise to me.
+
+  And, lo, 'tis vain the generals to blame,
+  Keep boldly sticking at the ancient game;
+    And if to-day you are upon the veldt,
+  To-morrow it will also be the same.
+
+  Each morn's _reveille_ comes like some nightmare,
+  Sleepy you rise and pack your kit, and swear;
+    Then mount your saddled steed with gun in hand,
+  And hasten off, you know not why or where.
+
+  Some in the fighting let their hearts rejoice,
+  For some the waggons are the patriot's choice:
+    Oh! loot the farm, don't let the chickens go,
+  Nor heed the roaring of the sergeant's voice!
+
+  They say the gentlemen in khaki keep
+  The courts where Kruger once did plot so deep;
+    That great Oom Paul across the sea has trekked,
+  Before the Courts of Europe now to weep.
+
+  We are but pawns, first front, then flank, then rear,
+  Moved by the Master Players there and here
+    Upon the veldt and kopje (that's the board),
+  _Sans_ tents, _sans_ beds, _sans_ pudding and _sans_ BEER.
+
+  Yon broiling sun which smiles and is our bane,
+  Yon thunder-cloud which means a soaking rain,
+    Will both some day look down upon this veldt
+  For us, and let us hope 'twill be in vain.
+
+The above extract will, I am sure, suffice to show the general tone of
+the khaki Rubaiyat, and be more than enough to damn my poor but honest
+reputation.
+
+
+TREATMENT OF THE SICK.
+
+                                        KRUGERSDORP,
+                                         _December 5th, 1900._
+
+As the English mail leaves this benighted place to-morrow at mid-day, I
+am dropping you a few lines, though I feel in anything but a scribbling
+humour. Clements moved out on Monday for about a week's jaunt, and left
+us, the Sussex Squadron and sick men, behind in charge of about a
+hundred remounts, mostly Argentines; and with the pleasant task of doing
+pickets and such like, about two miles out from the town. As I write I
+am very wet, it having been raining for the last two days. This morning
+the other four occupants of Mealie Villas had to clear off at 3 o'clock
+to do a picket, and so, as they naturally withdrew the support of their
+rifles from their blankets, there was not much shelter for me. I wonder
+what your opinion was on the statements of Mr. Burdett-Coutts, M.P., as
+regards certain hospitals out here, and also what you think of the Army
+doctor? It was my duty to parade the sick men before one of these august
+beings this morning. I received the order at a quarter past nine from
+our Squadron Sergeant-Major to parade before the doctor's tent, in the
+lines of Marshall's Horse, at 9.30. So at that time, behold me with
+fourteen sick men in the driving, drenching rain waiting in puddles of
+water outside the well-closed tent of the disciple of Esculapius. There
+we waited till at last an officer entering the tent, in response to my
+inquiry, as to whether I was at the right place or not, replied in the
+affirmative and informed an unseen being that there was a sick parade
+outside. Apparently without even rising, the great unseen was heard to
+remark shortly, "Sick parade is at seven o'clock every morning," the
+tent was again closed, and the men with fever, dysentery, colds and
+sores wended their ways through the rain and mud, back to the damp
+interiors of their leaking blanket hovels. They were men of the Fife,
+Devon, Dorset, and Sussex Yeomanry Squadrons, and that is how some of
+your dear patriotic volunteers get treated occasionally by certain
+doctors out here. Our Battalion doctor (the 7th) is a very good sort,
+and if you are bad will see you at almost any time.
+
+On Wednesday (November 29th) a friend and I went into the 'Dorp and got
+a few stores (alas! the Field Force canteen is almost empty and the
+prospects of its being replenished are drear). Afterwards we strolled up
+to the station to see if there were any mails, and to see a train again.
+The Johannesburg train came in while we were there, and a sergeant-major
+of Kitchener's Horse shot an officer of the same corps soon after
+alighting from the train. The officer had put him under arrest for
+misbehaviour in Johannesburg. I had my choice of a dozen yarns as to the
+real cause of the tragedy. The officer was buried the next day. The fate
+of the sergeant-major I have not heard yet, though it is not difficult
+to guess. Mr. Wynne, our troop leader left us this day for England,
+having applied for leave on business. A statement of the losses among
+our officers may not be uninteresting. All of the following, save the
+last, are home or on their way: The Duke of Norfolk, injured thigh; the
+Hon. T. A. Brassey, elections; Mr. Ashby, reasons unknown, but
+undoubtedly excellent; Mr. Williams-Wynne, business reasons; Mr. Cory,
+still out here but working with the transport--hard.
+
+Which leaves us Mr. McLean, of rowing fame, as our captain and only
+officer.
+
+Saturday, apart from lifting us into December, was I believe,
+uneventful.
+
+
+VELDT CHURCH SERVICE.
+
+On Sunday we had a Brigade Church Service--we had not had one for a long
+time. We also had a real padre, who wore a surplice, cassock, and
+helmet, and who preached an indifferent sermon. I don't suppose we
+deserve a real good man.
+
+[Illustration: Hymns & their Singers (At an I.Y. Veldt Church Service).
+"I was not even thus" Lead kindly Light.]
+
+The great event of Tuesday was the fate of my Christmas pudding, which I
+had received from my _Mater_. Having handled and examined it carefully
+for some time, I thought I could detect signs of decomposition about it.
+I communicated my fears to my comrades, who shared them, and said they
+didn't think it would last till Christmas. It didn't; for we ate it that
+evening. It was good, and I suppose we ought to feel ashamed of
+ourselves for eating it out of season, but really our excuses are many,
+principal among them being it is not wise trying to keep edibles, as
+they have a way of getting lost, and if the pudding managed to last to
+Christmas it is just on the cards we might not.
+
+To show you how civilised we are at the 'Dorp, we, when in standing
+camp, occasionally have a chance of getting a drink of beer. This
+afternoon a barrel was brought into our camp, and to-night we shall be
+able to buy pots of it at sixpence a pint. You should see those pints!
+We may be Imperial Yeomanry, but they don't give us Imperial Pints.
+Teetotallers will be interested and pleased to hear that out of our
+princely stipend of 1s. 3d. per diem (unpaid since July) we don't buy
+much of the beverage.
+
+I have drawn a fresh horse from the remounts we are in charge of; my
+last gee-gee I called "Barkis," because he was willing, this brute I
+shall have to dub "Smith," because he certainly is not--Willing.
+
+N.B.--Our mounts are always known as "troop horses," those belonging to
+the officers though, however Rosinante-like, are invariably, politely
+and with dignity alluded to as "chargers."
+
+Thursday morning. We had to turn out and stand to arms this morning at
+three, an attack being expected on the railway. I, happening to have the
+stable picket, had the pleasure of arousing the recumbent forms of the
+sleepers with the joyous Christmas carol of "Christians, awake! come,
+salute the happy morn." You ought to have seen the "Christians" awake;
+to have heard them would have been too awful.
+
+So from three till six we stood to arms, a thick fog enveloping us,
+making it impossible to see more than fifty yards to our front or rear.
+But they did not come. I understand that we may have "the stand to arms"
+wheeze every morning now, so we have something to look forward to.
+
+
+COMRADESHIP.
+
+                                   KRUGERSDORP.
+                                     _Wednesday, December 12th, 1900._
+
+As we are under orders to leave here and join Clements to-morrow, I am
+writing so as to catch the mail which goes out on Thursday.
+
+On Sunday we had a Church Service, and in the afternoon had a visit from
+Nobby--the Border Regiment has been resting at Krugersdorp for a few
+weeks--who entertained us till, what out here we should term a late
+hour, about nine.
+
+On Monday I heard that another of our Sussex fellows had died of enteric
+at Pretoria.
+
+Nobby has just looked in again, he is rather a swell, wearing one of our
+new war hats we had served out, and which I gave him, preferring to keep
+my old one; in his words, he looks as if he belonged to the "Yeomandry."
+It is wonderful how all our fellows get on with our professional
+brethren. Take for instance one of our men, a 'Varsity man, hight
+Pember, he is a dry, self-contained beggar, and lives his own life. Into
+this life has come a man of the Northumberland Fusiliers. They both hail
+from the same county. After the day's march, when the Infantry not on
+picket are in camp, a dark figure often slouches up our lines, and a
+voice inquires, "Is Pem 'ere?" and Pember of ours, late of Trinity Hall,
+calls out from the darkness, "Here you are, mate," and forthwith the man
+of the Fighting Fifth and the Imperial Yeoman sit down together and chat
+of Heaven knows what, and the latter gives the former half of his prized
+hard tack ration (he wouldn't give me a biscuit for his soul's
+salvation), for the Northumberlands do not fare well at their
+quartermaster's hands, at least they did not the last time we were on
+the trek. Then, at about the same time Nobby is leaving us, the Fusilier
+also arises and disappears with a "Good night, chummy," into the
+darkness.
+
+The dry canteen, for the troops, in the town, is now quite empty.
+Fortunately, we still have some of the Great Candle Loot left, otherwise
+we should be very much in the dark after sunset. To save our candles
+from draughts and get a good light, we always burn them in biscuit
+tins, a practice I can recommended highly if ever you go out campaigning
+and lack a lantern. A convoy going to Rustenburg from Pretoria was
+attacked and part captured a few days ago by Delarey's crowd. I had
+expected that to happen soon, the length of the convoy and insufficiency
+of its guard, having frequently struck me as very tempting for Brother
+Boer.
+
+Well, I must conclude, as I have nothing of note to narrate, and must
+begin to pack my possessions in a manner to circumvent our
+quartermaster-sergeant when packing our kits on the waggon.
+
+
+
+
+IN HOSPITAL.
+
+
+                                  IMPERIAL YEOMANRY HOSPITAL,
+                                    PRETORIA.
+                                     _Tuesday, December 18th, 1900._
+
+_Dulce et decorum_ 'tis to bleed for one's country, especially to a
+small extent, and that is my case. So here I am taking my ease with a
+slightly stiff leg, caused by a flesh wound acquired during a lively
+rearguard action we had on the 14th, and my hand tied up in a manner to
+render writing rather a slow and fumbling ceremony. I always find it
+easier to write of the present than the past, so will get through the
+events of last week as quickly as possible. On Thursday last we left
+Krugersdorp for Rietfontein to join Clements, with the Borders, some
+mounted details and useless remounts. Half of our fellows were leading
+the latter. We, the remainder, formed the rearguard, and a long,
+wearisome job it was. Oh, how those waggons broke down and stuck in
+dongas and spruits! At last we got into camp, to my infinite relief, for
+the sun had, for once, given me a vile head. All through the day we
+heard guns firing, first near us and then distant. The next day we were
+again rearguard, and had a rare harassing. The end of that beastly
+convoy seemed to lag even more than on the preceding day! And we of the
+rearguard, on the kopjes and ridges, watched the enemy galloping round
+and up to the favourable positions, potting at them when we had a decent
+chance. But they knew the lay of the land, of course, and the closer
+they got the more invisible they became. They don't require khaki to
+make them indiscernible. Then a single shot would inform us as it hummed
+above our heads that one gentleman had got into position, and was
+getting the range, then others, and we knew his friends were with him,
+and hard at it. Once a few of us happened to be lying in front of a
+ridge we were holding, and _at which_ the Boers were potting from
+another about 800 yards off. We got the order to retire over the crest
+and get better cover and had a warm time doing it. One at a time we
+crawled, then, crouching low, rushed back a few yards and dropped behind
+a rock for breath and cover. Then back again we dragged ourselves till
+the cover was better. Their firing was distinctly good, and several
+fellows were hit. On one occasion I dropped behind a small piece of
+rock, ostrich-like, covering my head, and almost simultaneously with my
+action a bullet struck the side of the rock a few inches from my face
+with a nasty _phutt_. That is what it is like on such occasions. That's
+the sort of game we played all day, cursing Clements for not sending out
+to meet us and give us a hand. We did not know what had happened in the
+valley the preceding day. Later we got into an ambush, some of the enemy
+being within a hundred yards of us; and had several horses killed. We
+thought that the show was over, as Rietfontein was close handy, and the
+last time we were there the locality was clear. It was almost dark when
+we entered Clements' camp. But where were the tents, the men and horses
+that used to be? Presently a figure with a face rendered unrecognisable
+by bandages, came up to us. It was Sergeant Pullar of the Fifes, and
+from him we had the story of the previous day's disaster. Over half the
+Fifes are missing, most of the Devons also, so-and-so killed, and
+so-and-so, and so-and-so. Kits lost, and tents burnt. From various
+reliable sources I have compiled the best account I can make of the
+affair, which we missed by the merest fluke, what men call chance, and
+here it is.
+
+
+THE STORY OF NOOITGEDACHT.
+
+Clements' camp was at Nooitgedacht, between Hekpoort and Olifant's Nek,
+where he had been for three days. Nooitgedacht is at the base of the
+Magaliesberg range of hills (the name means "Ne'er Forgotten"). We had
+camped there about a couple of months back. It lies near a large kloof.
+A little to the west of Clements were Colonel Legge's mounted troops,
+composed of Kitchener's and Roberts' Horse, "P" Battery R.H.A., and two
+companies of M.I., the whole force numbering, at the most, 1,400 men.
+Knowing that Delarey was in the vicinity with a strong force, the
+general had helio'ed for reinforcements, which, unfortunately, were not
+forthcoming, so apparently he was sitting tight, with doubled pickets,
+on the Magaliesberg and kopjes in the valley. Then came the eventful
+Thursday (the 13th). During the night Beyers' Commando made a wonderful
+trek from the north to reinforce and co-operate with Clements' old foe,
+Delarey, and just before dawn the enemy, who had crept up unseen or
+heard in the dark, rushed Legge's pickets on the west of the camp,
+shooting the sentries and many of the men as they lay asleep in their
+blankets, soon afterwards getting into the gallant Colonel's camp. Poor
+Legge, who ran out in the direction of the pickets as soon as he heard
+the firing, was one of the first killed. Then Clements' pickets on the
+Magaliesberg, which were composed of four-and-a-half companies of
+Northumberland Fusiliers, suddenly became aware of the close proximity
+of the enemy, who were in great force, about 3,000, and had, undetected,
+crept up the gradual sloping northern side of the range. The
+Northumberlands soon exhausted their ammunition, volunteers of the
+Yorkshire Light Infantry tried to take them a fresh supply, but were
+allowed to toil up the steep hillside with their heavy loads, only to be
+dropped, when near their goal, by their exultant foes. Probably never
+before have the Boers fought with such boldness, standing up and firing
+regardless of exposing themselves. Meanwhile, the Yeomanry, who had been
+standing to their horses in the camp, received the order to reinforce
+the Northumberlands on the Magaliesberg above them, and, with the Fifes
+leading and Devons following, commenced to ascend the precipitous
+hillside. Alas, the Boers were in possession of the summit, the
+Fusiliers having surrendered, and the Yeomanry got it hot. Of the Fifes,
+Lieutenant Campbell, who had only joined them a fortnight ago at
+Krugersdorp, was the first to fall, struck by an explosive bullet in the
+head. Out of less than fifty, fourteen were killed, and almost all the
+survivors wounded more or less seriously. At last, without a ray of
+hope, they were compelled to surrender, too. Many a good comrade's fate
+is known to me, so far, by that direly comprehensive word, _missing_. I
+have heard that the Boers threw many of the wounded over the precipitous
+southern side of the Magaliesberg, but do not believe it. Then they
+turned their full attention to the camp below; every officer of the
+staff was hit, the brigade-major was killed, having many wounds.
+Clements himself went unscathed; wherever there was a hot corner the
+general was to be seen coolly giving orders and apparently unconcerned
+amid a hail of bullets. "I'll be d----d if they shall have the cow-gun,"
+he remarked, and, by gad, they didn't. With drag ropes it was moved down
+the hill for some distance, and then an attempt was made to inspan the
+oxen. As fast as one was inspanned it was shot, and quickly another and
+another would share its fate. At last, by sheer desperate perseverance,
+some sort of a team was inspanned and the gun moved forward, leaving
+dead and wounded men and considerably over half of the ox-team behind,
+but with the aid of the field artillery, who shelled the kopjes, was at
+length got on to a comparatively safe road. Of a truth, were I another
+Virgil and a scribe of verse, not unheroic prose, I might well have
+started this little account with
+
+  "I sing of arms and of heroes."
+
+The getting away of the transport was a desperate affair; the niggers
+scooted, and amid the roar of the field guns, pom-poms, maxims and
+rifles, which between the hills was terrific, the mules stampeded.
+Officers, conductors and troopers rode after the runaways, and, under
+threats of shooting if they didn't, compelled the niggers to return with
+the mules. Chief amongst the Yeomanry who distinguished themselves that
+day, was Sergeant Pullar, who rode after the retiring convoy, called
+for, and returned with volunteers to the camp and helped with the guns
+and ammunition, and in various other ways. At last the Boers swarmed
+into the camp and our guns, turning on it, shelled it, containing as it
+did, friend and foe alike, a regrettable but absolutely necessary
+measure. Then our force retiring down the valley to Rietfontein fought a
+fierce rearguard action, the Dorset Yeomanry under Sir Elliot Lees and
+the remnants of the Fifes and Devons forming the rear screen, supported
+by Kitchener's and Roberts' Horse, mostly dismounted, and the guns.
+During this retirement, which I have heard wrongly ascribed to the M.I.,
+Sir Elliot and his orderly, Ingram, of the Dorsets, on one occasion
+finding that two dismounted Yeomen had been left behind on a recently
+abandoned kopje, gallantly rode back and bore them away on their horses
+into comparative safety.[7] The artillery were grand, as ever, and in
+spite of killed and wounded gunners and great losses in the teams, saved
+their guns and used them to effect. At six o'clock on Friday morning the
+rearguard entered camp at Rietfontein. Our casualties--killed, wounded
+and missing, are 640, while it is stated and believed that the enemy's
+losses were even more severe. It seems a strange coincidence that
+exactly this time a year ago at home in dear old England we were going
+through the black Stormberg and Colenso week, and Christmastide was
+coming to many a sorrowing home.
+
+         [Footnote 7: For his share in this gallant deed, Ingram was
+         promoted by the C.-in-C. to Corporal. Several of the Devons
+         and Fifes were subsequently mentioned in despatches. Sergeant
+         Pullar was persuaded to accept a commission, as also were
+         Sergeant-Majors Gordon and Cave. All three being excellent
+         soldiers and popular with the men. A Yeoman told me lately,
+         "It was simply splendid the cool way in which Colonel Browne
+         and Sir Elliot Lees superintended the waggons being moved
+         from camp."]
+
+Since writing the above, I have heard vague tales that a good many of
+the missing have turned up at Rustenburg, being either men who got
+through or released prisoners. This I rather anticipated and hope to be
+true. About the Yeomanry I have not heard any reassuring news yet; one
+thing is certain--they had many casualties and fought desperately.
+
+  NOOITGEDACHT.
+
+  _Thursday, December 13th, 1900._
+
+  Comrades of Fife and of Devon,
+     Dying as brave men die,
+  Under God's smiling blue heaven,
+     Now you peacefully lie
+  On the hills you died defending,
+     Or veldt where you nobly fell,
+  Your foemen before you sending;
+     Good comrades, fare thee well.
+
+  O comrades of Devon and Fife,
+     Memories flood me o'er;
+  Fierce mem'ries of many a strife
+     In days that are no more;
+  Full many a fast have we shared,
+     Of many treks could I tell;
+  Brave men who have done and dared,
+     Comrades of mine--farewell.
+
+
+  _L'envoi._
+
+  And when in the great Valhalla
+    All of us meet again;
+  Norsemen in skins and armour
+    And men in khaki plain;
+  With a smile to erstwhile foemen
+    Who 'gainst us fought and fell,
+  I'll haste to my fellow Yeomen,
+    Till then, dear chums--farewell!
+
+
+TWO FIELD HOSPITALS--A CONTRAST.
+
+On Friday I went before our Battalion doctor, who had lost everything,
+save what he stood in. However, he fixed up my leg and hand and exempted
+me from duty. On going before him the next day he said my leg wanted
+resting, and in spite of protests sent me to the R.A.M.C. field
+hospital. A word aside here. I suppose you have heard of this great
+institution of the British Army--the d----d R.A.M.C. (I seldom, if ever,
+have heard it alluded to without the big, big D's.) My experience of it,
+I am pleased to say, has been, so far, severely limited, but, slight as
+it is, I can quite understand why it is lacking in popularity. With
+three other Yeomen and my kit, I accompanied the doctor's orderly to the
+Brigade Hospital. The order for our admission was given in, and we were
+told we should be attended to at nine. The sun was hot, shade there was
+none, and outside the doctor's tent we waited. Nine came and went, a
+doctor also rode up, chatted with someone inside, and rode away. The sun
+was scorching, and we dare not go away to get in any friendly shade.
+Three of us had game legs and one dysentery, but, of course, we grumbled
+not, for the R.A.M.C. are all honourable men. Various squads of sick
+Artillery, M.I. and other regiments marched up, and finally an R.A.M.C.
+sergeant came to the entrance of the tent and began calling them up
+before the doctor. Eleven o'clock came, and in the hot sun we waited
+still, in spite of being half-determined to return to our lines, as it
+was getting rather wearisome and confoundedly hot; but the R.A.M.C. are
+all honourable men. A Canadian helped a chum down to the group of
+impatient patients, and after a few words left him with the terribly
+audible remark, "So long, ole man. I'd sooner blanked-well die on the
+veldt than go there." Which showed how he failed to appreciate the
+R.A.M.C., and also his bad taste, for those inside must have heard him.
+But there, they know that they, the R.A.M.C., are all honourable men.
+"Driver Neads!" calls the spic and span little dark-moustached sergeant,
+reading from a list of names. A ragged dirty-looking Artilleryman limps
+painfully up, _two pills_ are given to him, he gazes curiously at them,
+then at the back of the donor, who has turned away, and then realising
+that nothing further is to be done for him, limps heavily back, making
+room for the next patient. Once in the background, he heels a small hole
+in the earth, turns the contents of his hand into it, methodically fills
+the hole up, and hobbles back with his squad. They were, of course, the
+celebrated "Number Nines," the great panacea out here as, of course, you
+know. They (are supposed to) cure all diseases, from dysentery and brain
+fever to broken legs and heads.
+
+And still we, who were first, waited in the blazing sun, to be last.
+Finally the smart sergeant smilingly recognised us, and cheerily told us
+that there was an Imperial Yeomanry Field Hospital somewhere in the
+vicinity, and we were to go there, and with that returned us our
+admittance form. I pressed him for more accurate information, and had
+the supposed direction given me, which proved correct. So off we
+crawled, I, with my Bunyan's Pilgrim-like load, holding the position of
+a scratch man in a race. I could not have done the distance had I not
+procured the services of a nigger, who relieved me of my kit for a
+shilling. So we shook the dust of the R.A.M.C. Field Hospital from our
+boots, but let not an abusive word be levelled at them, for are they not
+all honourable men?
+
+The Imperial Yeomanry Field Hospital was about a mile off, and on
+reaching it we were treated with every kindness. They had only come in
+the previous night, and we were the first patients. Every consideration
+was shown to us, and in a few minutes we were lying down in a fine tent
+of the marquee brand and drinking excellent _cafe au lait_ and eating
+bully and biscuit. "The best we can do for you at present," as they
+apologetically remarked to us. Fomentations were applied to our wounds,
+and luxuriously reclining on my back, smoking a Turkish cigarette one of
+the orderlies had just given me, I fervently swore that the grandest
+institution in South Africa was the I.Y. Field Hospital. In the
+afternoon some sick Inniskilling Fusiliers were admitted, and for some
+time seemed dazed at the kind treatment they were receiving, and
+appeared half under the impression they were in Heaven. "What's this
+chummy?" queried one. "Imperial Yeomanry Hospital" was the reply. "Thank
+Gawd 'taint the R.A.M.C." grunted the Tommy, turning over on his side
+with a sigh of relief. At about ten that night we had to make room in
+our tent for a dozen wounded men from Thursday's fight. Ninety were
+being brought into Rietfontein and the I.Y. people were taking half.
+Soon an ambulance was halted by our tent, and wounded men hobbled or
+were carried in, heads, arms and legs tied up, with here and there blood
+showing through the bandages. They were M.I., Kitchener's Horse,
+Northumberlands and K.O.Y.L.I. (King's Own Yorkshire Light Infantry).
+"Man," started a Yorkshire man before he had been in the tent a minute,
+"they (the Boers) treated us real well." "Ay, they was all right,"
+chimed in a M.I. man, "they gave us to eat as much as they 'ad." "One
+bloke arsked my permission to take the boots orf one of our dead chaps,"
+said a Northumberland Fusilier. And at it they went hammer and tongue,
+especially the latter. To follow the various speakers one needed a dozen
+pairs of ears at least. Several related that the Boers came up to them
+and told them they had made a grand fight of it. They were quickly
+supplied with beef tea and biscuits, and some of the necessary cases
+were dressed again. "See that that man has a ground sheet down there,"
+ordered Major Stonham, "he is on the bare earth." "I've laid on it for
+three nights out there, sir," cheerfully vouchsafed the patient under
+notice.
+
+At last I got to sleep, awaking at four, and having had a small bowl of
+porridge and milk, arose with the other fellows who had come in with me
+and the sick Inniskillings, and getting our kits, got into an ambulance
+waggon for the first time. The I.Y. people sent in two ambulances and
+the R.A.M.C. three open mule waggons filled with sick soldiers. We
+reached Pretoria at three, and we four Yeomen were sent to the Imperial
+Yeomanry Hospital, where, after once again giving in our names,
+regimental numbers, ranks, regiments, service, ailments, religion, and
+a hundred other items of general information, I was allotted a ward,
+bed, and suit of pyjamas, and after having had a bath, got into bed and
+awaited the next person desirous for my name, number, time of service,
+&c. It was not long before the sister in charge of our ward appeared;
+she is Irish (Sister Strohan), and naturally very kind. Our tent holds
+six men, and we were all new arrivals that evening. She asked if we had
+had anything to eat, and we said we had had nothing beyond a little
+porridge at four in the morning. Then she commanded the orderlies to
+get "these _poor_ men" bread, marmalade, cocoa, beef tea, pillows and
+all sorts of things. And we "poor men" laid comfortably in our beds and
+grinned at one another. She ordered us later to go to sleep, but we
+could not. For myself, I had not been in a bed for so long that I
+positively felt restless, and almost rolled out of bed so as to have a
+comfortable "doss" on the ground (it seemed like a case of the pig
+returning to its wallowing). At last I fell asleep, and once in that
+state took a good deal of arousing--for night nurses and orderlies tread
+more lightly than stable guards, and loose horses grazing round one's
+head.
+
+[Illustration: A friendly Boer family watching a British ambulance
+waggon, full of sick & wounded, going into Pretoria.]
+
+Thursday, December 20th. A friend, of the Fife Yeomanry, came in here
+wounded last night. He went up with twenty other men of his crowd to
+reinforce the Northumberlands on the hill. Out of these, six were killed
+and nine wounded. I have already told you many of the dead and wounded
+were left on the kopjes for several days. He tells me it was horrible to
+see some of the poor fellows; the flies had got on their wounds. One
+fellow with a wounded jaw had maggots inside as well as out, and they
+were taken out of his mouth with little bits of stick. Another with a
+wounded side was quite a heaving, moving mass of them where he had been
+hit.
+
+
+CHRISTMAS IN HOSPITAL.
+
+                                     IMPERIAL YEOMANRY HOSPITAL,
+                                       PRETORIA.
+                                         _Monday, December 24th, 1900._
+
+  Here's to the doc's an' the nusses,
+  The bloomin' ord'lies too,
+  Who tend to us poor worn cusses,
+  All of 'em good and true.
+  Fightin' with death unceasin',
+  With ne'er a word of brag,
+  Sorrow an' anguish easin',
+  Under the Red Cross flag.
+
+          _Extract from forthcoming "Orspital Odes."_
+
+Christmas Eve! Forsooth! And it falls on a homesick British Army in
+South Africa, home-yearning and longing for a sight of the sea (our
+sea!) like the famous Grecian host of old. If you ask a British
+soldier, "How goes it?" he promptly growls, "Feddup." I wonder what the
+Grecian warrior's equivalent for "fed up" was. He had one I am sure.
+
+Christmas Eve, forsooth! Where is the prickly, red-berried holly? Where,
+too, the mistletoe with its pearly berries? And where, most of all,
+queries your enforced member of a Blue Ribbon Army--where is the Wassail
+Bowl?
+
+The weather is fine, and under our tents we don't feel the heat of the
+sun. After the monotony of khaki here, there and everywhere, to which
+one gets accustomed on the veldt, the colours one sees here are quite
+enlivening. To begin with, _place aux dames_ the nurses are arrayed in
+grey, white and red, and the patients who arrive in torn, worn, dirty or
+bloody khaki, surrender all their warlike habiliments to an orderly,
+have a bath and then "blossom in purple and red"--pyjamas, or in pinks,
+stripes or spots.
+
+The food is very good here, and, as Tommy says, there is _bags_ of it.
+"Bags" is the great Army word for abundance. It is used apparently
+without discrimination, and so one hears of bags of jam, bags of beer,
+bags of bags, bags of fun, or anything else in or out of reason.
+
+For a student of dialect this hospital opens a large field. It is a
+regular Babel at times, our Sister speaking a superior Irish and the
+orderly an inferior brogue. In our tent are a Scotch, two Welsh, a
+Dorset and a Sussex Yeoman. In the next tent are some regulars of the
+Northumberland Fusiliers and Yorkshire Light Infantry, and a true-bred
+cockney Hussar, and their speech requires careful attention if the
+listener wishes to understand it, I can assure you. A few Kaffirs
+talking a bastard Dutch and an old Harrovian, who stutters like an
+excited soda water syphon, completes the Babel in my immediate
+neighbourhood.
+
+The Irish orderly, Mick, by the way, is one of the most wonderful and
+plausible fellows I have met out here. To say he could talk a donkey's
+hind leg off would be a mild way of describing his excessive
+volubility--he would chatter a centipede's legs off. Often when he comes
+in, with another orderly's broom, to make a pretence of sweeping the
+tent out, and leaning on the stick, starts retailing stories of
+mystery and imagination, I lay down the book I am trying to read, and
+closing my eyes, drift into the land of true romance.
+
+[Illustration: _Owing to the great wear and tear on the Hospital
+garments and the large influx of fresh patients--pyjama suits are very
+rare in a perfect state or satisfactory size. Slippers also are
+excessively scarce. The above is a common scene._
+
+ORDERLY (to complaining new patient): "_Well, it's the best Oi can do
+for yez._"]
+
+It is a land uninhabited by ladyes fayre in the general way, for the
+_dramatis personae_ usually comprise "th' ortherly corp'ril"; "th'
+sargint of th' gyard"; "th' qua'thermasther, an' a low blaygyard he
+waz"; "th' gin'ril o' th' disthrict"; "a lif'tint in 'H' Company"; and
+other military personages, with "th' ortherly room" or a "disthrict
+coort-martial" thrown in. If I had only had a phonograph I would
+preserve them, and when I get home, have them set up in type, tastily
+bound, and announced as "Tales from the Ill, by R--. K--.," and then
+live a life of opulent ease on the proceeds thereof.
+
+"Th' sisther," as he calls her, says he is a dreadful man, and from her
+point of view I don't think she is far away from the truth. He argues
+about everything, and is always blaming his fellow orderlies. Still, it
+is the dreadful men who are invariably so entertaining.
+
+I have just heard that a friend, Trooper Bewes, a cheery fellow of the
+Devons, has succumbed to his wound. Christmas Eve, forsooth! His chum
+was shot through the stomach, and died on the veldt. Poor fellow, he
+(the chum) was always swallowing with avidity any rumour about our going
+home--perhaps he was too keen, and ironical fate stepped in. It's a hard
+Christmas Box for his poor people, is it not?
+
+We are debating whether to hang our socks up or not. If I do, and get
+something inside, it will probably be a scorpion. I found one in my boot
+a few days ago. The latest from our cheerful town pessimist, is "Don't
+be surprised if you are out another twelve months." Our Harrovian friend
+has summed up our feelings very aptly by stuttering, "If I had a bigger
+handkerchief I'd weep."
+
+A couple of orderlies have just passed our tent, bearing an inanimate
+blanket-covered form on a stretcher--the last of my poor Devon friend,
+beyond a doubt. Another was carried by about two hours ago, while we
+were having tea. Christmas Eve, forsooth! Well, I will resume this
+to-morrow, or on Boxing Day.
+
+                                        _Christmas Day._
+
+There are not many people who would do any letter-writing on the
+afternoon of this day. But out here one does marvellous deeds, which one
+would never dream of attempting at home. So here I am, my dinner
+finished, adding a few lines to this letter, commenced yesterday.
+
+Last night, in lieu of the festive carol singers, our waits (pickets)
+entertained us nearly all the night with volleys and independent firing.
+Whether the foe was real or imaginary I have not yet heard, but I
+believe the former. At four this morning I was awakened to have a
+fomentation on my leg, and drowsily realised it was Christmas Day. Then
+I fell asleep again, and dreamed of horrible adventures with Brother
+Boer. When we all awakened, we tried hard to convince one another it was
+indeed Christmas Day; one man actually going to the length of looking in
+his sock with a sneer, and all through the day "this time last year"
+anecdotes have been going strong amongst us of the I.Y.
+
+  "And a sorrow's crown of sorrows
+   Is remembering happier things."
+
+After breakfast I strolled up to the post-office tent on a forlorn hope
+for letters. There were none for me, but one and a fine Scotch
+shortbread for the wounded Fife man in the bed next to mine. The cake,
+the beauty of which we quickly marred, was tastefully decorated with
+sugared devices, and the inscription, "Ye'll a' be welcome hame!"
+
+Another fomentation, a visit from the doctor, who put us all on stout,
+and dinner was up. This consisted of the roast beef of Old--oh, no, it
+didn't, it was roast old trek ox, and I was unable to damage it with my
+well-worn teeth, so left it. The "duff" was not bad, and the quantity
+being augmented by a cold tinned one, which our Harrovian friend
+produced from his haversack, we fared very well, finishing up the repast
+with shortbread and a small bottle of stout each, with a diminutive
+pineapple for dessert.
+
+Everybody I meet seems agreed on one point, and that is there has been
+no Christmas this year. Well, let us hope we shall have a real
+old-fashioned one next year.
+
+                                        _New Year's Eve._
+  "The year is dying, _let him die_."
+
+Them's my sentiments--"let him die." Despite the _nil nisi bonum_
+sentiment, I can't find it in my heart to say (at this present time and
+in my present humour) a good word for the dying year, his last days
+having been ones to be remembered with--er--oblivion only, so to speak.
+Since writing last, I have been flying high--that is to say, my
+temperature has--having registered 104.4 (don't omit the point) for a
+couple of days. I was rather proud of this, for, as you know, I didn't
+swagger in here with a fever or anything like that. No, I simply and
+quietly waited about a week, and then let them see what I could do
+without any real effort. And that is the right way to do things.
+
+Look at Kitchener. People out here have been saying: "Wait till
+Kitchener is in command," and "Kitchener will do this and that." I
+sincerely hope he will. Mick, our day orderly, has just told me that "to
+hear people spake, ye'd think he cud brake eggs wid a hard
+stick,"--which I believe is his sarcastic way of summing up hero
+worship. I suggested most men could do that; whereupon Mick retorted:
+"Ye don't know, they might miss 'em." You never catch Mick napping. I
+only wish I could record the story of how he chucked the kits of "the
+Hon. Goschen and a nephew of the Juke of Portland's" out of one of the
+tents in 22 Ward, because they didn't choose the things which they
+wanted kept out, and let him take the rest away to the store tent.
+Needless to say, he was unaware at the time that he was entertaining
+angels.
+
+Kitchener visited the Hospital some time ago but I missed seeing him. I
+was sleeping at the time, and was awakened by his voice inquiring how we
+were, and turned round just in time to see a khaki mackintosh disappear
+through the door. Of course, I had met him before. He turned me out of a
+house at which the C.-in-C. and staff had luncheon the day we were
+marching on Johannesburg. My luncheon on that occasion consisted of a
+nibble at a small, raw potato.
+
+[Illustration: Sick.
+
+"Who said 'C.I.V.s'?"
+
+(With apologies to the talented painter of "Who said 'Rah'?")]
+
+  PARODY 9800134.
+
+  (Only one verse.)
+
+  When you've said "the war is over," and "the end is now in sight,"
+    And you've welcomed home your valiant C.I.V.'s,
+  There are other absent beggars in the everlasting fight,
+    And not the least of these your Yeoman, please.
+  He's a casual sort of Johnnie, and his casualties are great,
+    And on the veldt and kopjes you will find him,
+  For he's still on active service, eating things without a plate,
+    And thinking of the things he's left behind him.
+
+I'll spare you the chorus.
+
+The accompanying sketch, perhaps, needs a little explanation. To be
+brief, the British Army feels aggrieved at the praise bestowed on the
+C.I.V. Regiment, and its early return to England. To hear a discussion
+on our poor unoffending and former comrades is to have a sad exhibition
+of envy, hatred, malice, and all uncharitableness.
+
+Any amount of fellows have got bad teeth, and when one considers the
+trek-ox and the army biscuit, one cannot be surprised. A lance-corporal
+of ours went before the doctor last week on this score; he had
+practically no teeth, and has been _sent into Pretoria on a month's
+furlough_. It is generally circulated in the squadron that the
+authorities expect fresh ones to grow in that time.
+
+                                        _Tuesday, January 1st, 1901._
+
+I saw the New Year in--in bed. There is little or no news, when we do
+get some it is usually unsatisfactory. I suppose you know we have no
+paper in Pretoria; the best they can do for us is to let us buy for a
+tikkie the _Bloemfontein Post_, always four days old, and its contents!
+The same brief, ancient and censored war news, the inspired leading
+article, a column on a cricket match between two scratch Bloemfontein
+teams, a treason trial, advertisements for I.L.H. and other recruits,
+and that is about all. Well, here's "A Happy New Year to us all."
+
+There are some terrible dunder-headed beings in this world of ours. I
+saw one the day I came through Pretoria to this hospital. We were
+acquaintances in London, and with the eye of a hawk he picked me out of
+a load of dirty, khaki-clad wretches, and pounced on me with "What on
+earth did you come out here for?" I told him "to play knuckle bones."
+
+In the tent next to this is a quiet man with a gun-shot wound in his
+knee. He is Vicary, V.C., of the Dorset Regiment. You may remember he
+won it in the Tirah campaign for a deed immeasurably superior to that of
+Findlater's; he saved an officer's life by killing five Afridis,
+shooting two and bayoneting and butt-ending the rest--a messy job. He is
+a small, quiet man, and wild horses could not induce him to talk of the
+winning of his V.C. He won't say a "blooming" word on the subject to
+anyone, not even an orderly.
+
+We have a small library in the hospital (Mrs. Dick Chamberlain's). I got
+Max O'Rell's "John Bull and Co." from it a few days ago. It concludes
+with the author's reply to a question asked him the day before he left
+South Africa.
+
+"Well, after all these long travels what are you going to do now?"
+
+"What am I going to do?" he replied; "I am going to Europe to look at an
+old wall with a bit of ivy on it."
+
+And, by the Lord Harry, that's just what I want to do myself.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I'm getting rather tired of my prolonged loaf in Arcadia, for that is
+the name of this part of Pretoria, and although it is really not my
+fault, still I feel ashamed of myself for not being with the company.
+Still, even if I were out of the hospital, I should merely be able to
+join a number of details of Sussex, Devon, Dorset, Fife, and other
+Yeomen who are waiting in Pretoria an indefinite time for remounts and
+fresh equipment. I daresay my last letter, if it arrived at all arrived
+later than usual, as the day the mails left here there was a biggish
+fight a few miles down the line at the first station (Irene), and the
+train had to return. It is also rumoured that the home mails due were
+held up and collared, a hardy perennial this.
+
+All last Friday we could hear big guns pounding away, and we heard on
+Saturday that the enemy had pulled up a good deal of the line, but the
+fort, or forts, at Irene had held their own. In addition to this, rumour
+hath it that Delarey and eight hundred (or 500, or 1,000) have been
+killed or captured, also that Clements has been killed. But all this,
+as usual, needs confirmation. So inaccurate or vague is actual news when
+we do get it, that a big fight might take place in the nearest
+back-garden, and we should be absolutely ignorant of the real details of
+the combat.
+
+I have just heard that the news that General Clements is dead is
+correct. He died of a wound received some days ago I am told. If it is
+true, we have lost another good officer and brave man.
+
+We certainly have made every use of our privilege as Englishmen to
+grumble since we have been out here. A certain Bill Fletcher, erstwhile
+a Cockney pot boy, now of Kitchener's Horse, has just taken a bed in our
+tent, and has announced that he is tired of the "blooming" country,
+where the "blooming" flowers don't smell, the "blooming" birds don't
+sing, and the "blooming" fruit don't taste (this latter charge is not
+quite correct), and he wants to get back to the "blooming" fog and smoke
+of London; all this, and he has only been at it five months.
+
+
+THE CAREER OF AN UNTRUTH.
+
+Clements is not dead, and Delarey and his friends are not captured.
+
+I am telling you the latest rumours and anti-rumours, as this letter
+progresses.
+
+And yet the man I had the first version from had had it from an R.A.M.C.
+Sergeant, who had it on the most reliable authority of the commandant's
+orderly, who had heard the commandant tell it to the P.M.O. He had also
+been corroborated by a man who had seen the man who took it down from
+the heliograph. Also one of the hospital runners had heard Dr. ---- tell
+Dr. ----, and a friend of his had a friend who knew a man on the
+officers' mess, who had seen it up in orders, distinctly.
+
+A Tommy came in just now and said "Hullo, Corporal!" I shook his flipper
+weakly and tried the dodge of pretending to recognise him. But I had to
+give it up, and admit I could not for the moment recognise him, and
+thought he had made a mistake. To which he replied he had not, and
+didn't I remember the soap. I did.
+
+About two months or more ago, having halted at mid-day at some fontein
+or other _en route_ for Rustenburg, Whiteing and I went down to the
+nearest stream to have the usual wash. There we found heaps of fellows
+washing; but, alas! there was a great dearth of soap. A Northumberland
+man asked me if I could sell him some, and I gave him a small chunk. The
+demand was great, and there was practically no supply. When we got back
+to our lines, Whiteing, ever forgetful, discovered he had left his
+precious brown Windsor behind. It was too late to go back to try and
+find it, so he gave up all hopes of ever seeing it again. The next day,
+as we were riding through the infantry advance guard of the Border
+Regiment, one of the fellows shouted to me, asking if I had lost any
+soap the day before. I replied "No," and then recollected Whiteing's
+loss added that a friend of mine had. My infantry friend thereupon
+promised to bring it round in the evening, which he did. In this manner
+we became acquainted with him. I mention this incident just to show what
+a really good sportsman the true Thomas is. Here was soap in great
+request: we were strangers to him, having merely chatted with him and
+the others as we washed in the mud and water, and yet, without our even
+making enquiries for the precious lump, he went out of his way to return
+it.
+
+I asked him why he had come into the hospital, and he told me he and
+several others had been sent in as unfit for the veldt, and so were
+to act as hospital orderlies. When I inquired how he liked the idea,
+he said it was all right, as he was clear of the horrible
+"hundred-and-fifty," and he laid his hands significantly where the
+pouches are wont to decorate the waist of the poor infantryman.
+
+     [_Note._--I suppose you know the infantryman's cross is the hated
+     150 rounds in the two pouches, which after many miles marching
+     become most irksome, especially for the muscles of the stomach.]
+
+I, of course, inquired after Nobby, but he could not tell me anything
+about him, as Nobby is in "H" Company and his was "B."
+
+To-day (the 16th) a large number of fellows are leaving here for the
+base and, the rumour is--_home_.
+
+[Illustration: Got his ticket.
+
+  "See that fellow?"
+  "Yes."
+  "He's 'marked for home.'"
+  "Lucky Beggar!"]
+
+The P.M.O. asked a Yeomanry friend yesterday if he would like to go home
+or join his squadron, and the Yeoman's reply was he would like to rejoin
+his squadron--at home. In explanation, he smilingly stated that all of
+his squadron's officers, bar one, had gone home, and nearly all the
+squadron, having been invalided or discharged. Well, I think this is
+long enough for a letter written by a man who can hardly claim to be "on
+active service" just at present.
+
+
+THE SISTERS' ALBUMS.
+
+                                   _Sunday, January 26th, 1901._
+
+Still at the above address, but going strong, and almost losing the
+Spartan habits engendered by my recent life on the veldt!
+
+News is very scarce with us, and to dare to write you a long letter
+would be the height of impudence, so I will let you off with a
+moderately short one this week.
+
+Last week an original burlesque (perhaps I ought to politely designate
+it a musical comedy) was produced in a large marquee here, which is
+called "the theatre." I don't know what the name of the piece was but it
+dealt with a Hospital Commission, and the _dramatis personae_ consisted
+of a Boer spy, posing as the Commissioner, the real Commissioner, as a
+new nurse, nurses, orderlies, Kaffirs and doctors, amongst the latter
+being a Scotch Doctor, who drank a deal of "whuskey" and whose diagnoses
+were most entertaining. It was quite pathetic to watch the keen interest
+with which the audience followed the diversions of "Dr. Sandy" with the
+bottle.
+
+I have been concerned in "doing something" in our day nurse's album
+lately (I think I have already alluded to the presence of the album evil
+out here). I have willingly volunteered to contribute to these volumes,
+hoping to see their contents, but, alas, in most cases I have had to
+start the tome; however, in the present case the album has been well
+started by various patients. Most of the efforts are strikingly original
+and all in verse, so I determined to do something for the honour of the
+county of my birth, and, securing a pen and ink, perpetrated some
+Michael Angelic-like sketches of "the-ministering-angel-thou," order.
+Then, hearing that a poem (scratch a Tommy and you'll find a poet) was
+expected, valiantly started off with something like this:
+
+  "She wore a cape of scarlet,
+  The eve when first we met;
+  A gown of grey was on her form
+  (I wore some flannelette!):
+  She was a sister to us all,
+  And yet no relation;
+  She stuck upon my dexter leg,
+  A hot fomentation."
+
+But appearing suggestive of something else, I crossed it out and finally
+produced the following ambitious ode:--
+
+  THE GREAT PANACEA.
+
+  Poets from time of yore have sung
+  In every clime and every tongue,
+  Of beauty and the pow'r of love,
+  Of things on earth and things above.
+
+  Sonnets to ladyes' eyes indited,
+  And for such stuff been killed or knighted.
+  They've raved on this and raved on that,
+  The dog or the domestic cat.
+
+  On blessed peace and glorious war,
+  On deeds of daring dashed with gore,
+  And scores of other wondrous deeds,
+  Which History or Tradition heeds.
+
+  But I would humbly sing to praise
+  Something unhonoured in those lays--
+  The cure for broken legs and arms,
+  For suff'rers of rheumatic qualms.
+
+  For wounds by bullet or the knife,
+  Obtained in peace or deadly strife;
+  For broken heads or sprained toes,
+  And myriad other sorts of woes,
+  For that incurable disease
+  "Fed up" or "tired of C.I.V.'s."
+
+  For pom-pom fever, Mauseritis,
+  The toothache or the loafertitis.
+  For broken heart or broken nose,
+  For every sickness science knows.
+
+  All these and ev'ry other ill,
+  Are cured by that well-known Pill;
+  'Tis made on earth with pow'rs divine,
+  I sing in praise of _Number Nine_.
+
+To expatiate further upon the famous "No. 9 Pill" would be absurd, as it
+is as great an institution of the British Army out here as the 4.7 or
+pom-pom.
+
+[Illustration: Thoughtless Sister (persuasively): "Now I want you to do
+something very nice in my Album."]
+
+We are still suffering (worse than ever) from a paucity of news and a
+superabundance of rumours; indeed the supply of the latter far exceeds
+the demand, and budding fictionists eclipse themselves daily. Had the
+Psalmist lived in these days, I feel sure he would hardly have
+contented himself with the gentle statement that "all men are liars,"
+but have indulged in language far more emphatic. Still as far as we are
+concerned, the Boers can beat the most brilliant efforts of our own
+fellows any day.
+
+We have a lot of Regulars in this hospital, and it is amusing at times,
+and at others rather irritating, to hear some of their criticisms of the
+Yeomanry. I recently heard some of them (good fellows) chaffing merrily
+over certain Yeomanry (a very small number), who were concerned in an
+unfortunate affair some time ago, totally ignoring the fact that a
+_large_ number of Regular Infantry and Mounted Infantry were also
+equally involved. Again the Cavalry may make a mistake, and they have
+made a few, but we don't hear much about their incapacity, but let the
+Yeomanry commit a similar error, and we hear about it, I can tell you. I
+venture these few remarks in common fairness to the Yeomanry, my
+temperature being quite normal, as I fancy they have often been used as
+a butt where others would have done as well.
+
+The explanation, it appears, is this. A corps of new Yeomanry is being
+formed, who are to receive five shillings a day; we also, of the
+original Yeomanry, are to receive the same at the expiration of a year's
+service, having up till then been paid the regular cavalry pay, for
+which we enlisted. Naturally, Thomas A. feels exceedingly wroth at
+"blooming ammychewers" receiving such remuneration, and to use his own
+metaphor, "chews the fat" accordingly. His position and feelings remind
+me very strongly of the poor soldier in "The Tin Gee-Gee!"
+
+  Then that little tin soldier he sobbed and sighed,
+    So I patted his little tin head,
+  "What vexes your little tin soul?" said I,
+    And this is what he said:
+  "I've been on this stall a very long time,
+    And I'm marked '1/3' as you see,
+  While just above my head he's marked '5 bob,'
+    Is a bloke in the Yeoman-ree.
+  Now he hasn't any service and he hasn't got no drill,
+    And I'm better far than he,
+  Then why mark us at fifteen pence,
+    And five bob the Yeoman-ree?"
+        etc.       etc.       etc.
+
+I am very sorry for poor friend Thomas.
+
+On Wednesday (the 23rd) we heard the sad news that our Queen was dead.
+It came as quite a blow to us, and even now seems hardly credible; we
+had only heard the previous day of her serious condition. All through
+the Hospital everyone seems to be experiencing a personal bereavement. I
+overheard a Tommy remark, in a subdued tone full of respect, when he was
+told the news, "Well she done her jewty." And I am sure it summed up his
+and our feelings very accurately. A man has also told me of the death of
+Captain McLean, at Krugersdorp, which is very sad; he always looked so
+fit. Mr. Cory is now captain of our squadron and the only Sussex
+Yeomanry officer in South Africa.
+
+
+"LONG LIVE THE KING!"
+
+                                        _January 30th, 1901._
+
+You will soon begin to think that I am a permanent boarder at this
+place; indeed, I almost feel so myself now; though as a matter of fact I
+am expecting to be marked out any hour--the sooner the better, for the
+enforced inactivity is by no means free from monotony, not to mention
+headaches, toothaches, and sleepless nights, from which one seldom
+suffers on the veldt. I have found out a dodge for obtaining a better
+night's sleep than is one's usual lot, and that is a good pitched pillow
+fight before turning in. Of course, it is advisable not to be caught by
+the night sister.
+
+Last night we had a terrific storm, and had to stand by the poles and
+tent walls for a long time. The wind, hail and rain were tremendous, and
+in spite of our tents all being on sloping ground, with trenches a foot
+deep around them, we got a bit of moisture in as it was.
+
+On Monday, His Majesty King Edward VII., was proclaimed in Pretoria, a
+salute of guns fired from the Artillery barracks, and all flags
+temporarily mast-headed, and back to you good folks at home we sent
+echoing our loyal sentiment, "God save the King."
+
+On Saturday, Whiteing waltzed gaily up and paid me a visit, having got
+leave into Pretoria from Rietfontein, where he had been left with other
+men, all minus noble quadrupeds, and on Sunday another old comrade, the
+Great Boleno, darkened the door of our tent and brightened me with the
+light of his presence. He had been one of Clements' orderlies for the
+last two months, and had accompanied the general into Pretoria, and
+succeeded in securing a good civil berth in the town.
+
+[Illustration: "God save the King!" January 1901.]
+
+From these I learnt the fortunes of the battalion up to date. Briefly,
+after I left them they were some time at Rietfontein; then at
+Buffalspoort, where they did delightful guards, pickets, and early
+morning standing to horses; after which those possessed of horses went
+on to Rustenburg, I believe, where they now are, the horseless ones
+going back into Rietfontein.
+
+So now the Seventh Battalion of Imperial Yeomanry, like many others, is
+spread well over the face of the land.[8] Some of the fellows are home;
+some on their way thither; some in this hospital, some in others; some
+are in the police; some in civil employment; some with sick horses at
+Rietfontein; some in a detail camp at Elandsfontein (near Johannesburg);
+some with the battalion, at Rustenburg; and some, alas, are not.
+
+         [Footnote 8: The subsequent adventures of the battalion under
+         General Cunningham and later Dixon and Benson I am, of
+         course, unable to record.]
+
+Whiteing gave me a vivid description of his journey into Pretoria on one
+of the steam-sappers running between that town and Rietfontein; they are
+known as the Pretoria-Rietfontein expresses. As he put it, they stop for
+nothing, over rocks, through spruits and dongas, squelch over one of
+French's milestones here and there, the ponderous iron horse snorted on
+its wild career till its destination was reached.
+
+
+THE IRISH FUSILIER'S AMBITION.
+
+Though I am well off for literature of all sorts (my locker is a
+scandal), I don't seem to be able to settle down to anything like a
+quiet, enjoyable read at all. Tommy Atkins _never_ seems to realise that
+one cannot carry on a conversation and read a book simultaneously, or
+write a letter.
+
+        "Oh for a booke and a shadie nooke,
+           Eyther indoore or out;
+  With the grene leaves whysperynge overheade,
+           Or the streete cryes all about.
+         Where I maie reade all at mine ease,
+            Both of the newe and olde;
+  For a jollie goode booke whereon to looke,
+            Is better to me than golde."
+
+Thus the olde songe. And the kopjes are gazing stonily at me through the
+tent door; a man two beds off is squirming and ejaculating under the
+massage treatment of a powerful khaki _masseur_; doctors, sisters,
+orderlies, and runners come and go; a triangular duel between three
+patients on the usual subject--the superior merits of their respective
+regiments--is in full swing; and the realisation of the foregoing rhyme
+seems afar off.
+
+I, however, am not the only man with yearnings for a different state of
+affairs. Private Patrick McLaughlan, of the Inniskilling Fusiliers,
+occupying the bed on my right, has his. He often tells us his ideal of
+happiness, a "pub" corner with half-a-dozen pint pots containing
+ambrosial "four 'arf" before him, and a well-seasoned old clay three
+inches long filled with black Irish twist.
+
+The other day I ventured to Omarise his ideal of the earthly paradise
+thus:
+
+  A pipe of blackish hue for smoking fit,
+  Some good ould Irish twist to put in it;
+    Six pints of beer in a hostel snug,
+  And there, a king in Paradise, I'd sit.
+
+His only comment was a vast expectoration.
+
+By-the-way, my friend, Patrick, relates a good loot tale which befell
+his regiment in the Free State. They camped one day within easy distance
+of a store, kept by the usual gentleman of Hebrew extraction. Pat and
+his comrades made a rush for the place and collared all of the condensed
+milk, for which the merchant charged (or attempted to) a shilling per
+tin. About five men, early arrivals, paid; then in the scramble which
+ensued the rest omitted to do likewise. On returning to camp and opening
+the tins the milk appeared peculiar, and the regimental AEsculapius
+hearing of it, inspected the tins, pronounced them bad, and told the men
+to take them back to the store and get _their money_ refunded, which
+they did. Of course, the gentle Hebrew protested vehemently, but Tommy,
+with the medical officer's word behind him, soon persuaded him to do
+what he was told. Patrick was six shillings to the good over this
+transaction. And I daresay the wily Israelite regretted having had such
+a large stock of milk, though presumably he had hoped to rob the
+Philistines, not, as the case proved, to be doubly done by them.
+
+
+"WAR WITHOUT END."
+
+(AN INTERLUDE.)
+
+He came up to me and handed me a photograph. I took it, and beheld a
+being clad in a new khaki uniform and obviously conscious of the fact.
+An empty bandolier crossed his extended chest diagonally. His slouch
+hat was well tilted to the right, with the chin strap arranged just
+under the lower lip. The putties were immaculately entwined around his
+legs--in short the _tout ensemble_ was decidedly smart and soldier-like.
+His right hand rested lightly on a Sheraton table; in the immediate
+background was a portion of a low ornamental garden wall, in the
+distance was a ruin principally composed of Ionic columns in various
+positions--presumably the devastating work of the warrior in the
+foreground, "Look on that," he said bitterly, and as I returned it, "and
+on this, the _backbone_ of the British Army," smiting his manly breast.
+I looked, and in the bronzed, unshaven face and raggedly-apparelled
+figure before me, recognised a certain semblance to him of the
+photograph. I smiled sympathetically. "As it was," quoth he, "now and
+ever shall be, war without end." I turned to go, but was not fated to
+escape so easily. He held me with his bloodshot eyes, and perforce I
+stayed. With upraised voice he declaimed thus:
+
+  THE PSALM OF STRIFE.
+
+  (_Being what the Yeoman said to the Psalmist._)
+
+  Tell me not in ceaseless rumours
+    That we soon are going home,
+  Just to cure our bitter humours,
+    While upon the veldt we roam.
+
+  War is real, and war is earnest,
+    And Pretoria warn't the goal,
+  Out thou cam'st, but when returnest
+    Is not known to any soul.
+
+  Forward, fighting, smoking, chewing,
+    With a heart for any fate,
+  Still achieving, still pursuing,
+    And arriving--_just too late_.
+
+I fled.
+
+
+INVITATIONS--AND A CONCERT.
+
+                                    _Wednesday, February 6th, 1901._
+
+Another week has rolled away; a week's march nearer home anyway, and
+like the great MacMahon, I am here and here I sticks. The most thrilling
+event of the past seven days has been the sudden and unexpected
+reception of mails, after having abandoned all hope, and a parcel which
+arrived in Pretoria for me during the first week in September.
+
+I was interested to read in an enclosed note that my aunt hoped I should
+be home to spend Christmas with her. By-the-bye, people have been
+awfully good in sending me invitations to weddings, funerals, and
+christenings. In August last I was the recipient of a dainty invitation
+to the wedding of a friend. The sad event was to take place in June. I
+didn't go. The latest was a cream-laid affair, from another quarter, on
+which I was requested in letters of gold to honour certain near and dear
+relatives with my presence at the christening of their firstborn. As the
+affair was to take place in December, and I received the pressing
+invitation at the end of January--I was again unable to be present at
+another interesting ceremony. I have also received several invitations
+to Terpsichorean revels. My R.S.V.P. has been curtly to the effect that
+"Mr. P.T.R. is not dancing this season."
+
+As regards deaths and funerals, I have seen and attended more than
+enough of them out here. At this present moment a friend, a New
+Zealander, is in parlous plight. He was shot in the right shoulder, the
+wound soon healed, but the arm was almost useless, so the massage fiend
+here used to come and give him terrible gip. Then doctor No. 3 came
+along, said he had been treated wrongly, that the artery was severed,
+etc., and operated on him. The operation itself was successful, but as
+regards other matters, it is touch and go with him, his arm is black up
+to a little above the elbow, in places it is ebony, and, I understand,
+amputation, if the worse comes to the worst, is almost out of the
+question. So, with others, I go in to keep him cheered up, and chaff him
+over the champagne and other luxuries he is on, suggesting what a lovely
+black eye his ebony right mawler might give a fellow, and feeling all
+the time a strong inclination to do a sob. He is such a rattling fine
+fellow, indeed, all the Colonials I have met are.[9]
+
+         [Footnote 9: Since my return I have heard from "Scotty," as
+         we used to call him. He wrote from his home in New Zealand,
+         his right arm had been successfully amputated, and he was
+         getting accustomed to its loss.]
+
+Last night we had an open-air concert; the best part of it, as is often
+the case at such affairs, appeared to be the refreshments which were
+provided for the officers and artists. The talent was really not of a
+high order, being supplied from Pretoria.
+
+The chairman, who introduced the performers and announced the items,
+affording us most entertainment, usually, unconsciously, he being a
+long-winded individual, and invariably commencing his remarks with
+"Er-hem! Ladies and gentleman, a great Greek philosopher once said"--or
+"There is an old proverb." He essayed to give us "The dear Homeland,"
+but being interrupted in one of his most ambitious vocal flights by a
+giddy young officer (and a gentleman) throwing a bundle of music and a
+bunch of vegetables at him, hastily finished his song, and in a
+dignified voice requested us to conclude the proceedings by singing "God
+Save the Quing." This was the first time I had sung the National Anthem,
+since the death of our Queen, and I felt, as no doubt everybody has
+experienced, a most peculiar feeling on singing the words, "God Save the
+King."
+
+Then to bed, but not to sleep, for that is a difficult matter here--so I
+laid and chatted with a trooper of Roberts' Horse, the latest occupant
+of the next bed to me. He is, or rather was, a schoolmaster, wears
+spectacles and is grey-headed; what induced him to join in this little
+game heaven, and he, only know. In the midst of a discussion on the
+Afrikander Bond and the South African League, the night sister came in
+and imperiously bade us be silent and go to sleep. So the grey-headed
+schoolmaster and my humble self, like guilty children, became silent,
+and serenaded by the ubiquitous mosquito wooed sweet Morpheus.
+
+Thursday, February 7th. Last night it rained steadily nearly all night;
+and it has just recommenced. It is quite an agreeable change to see a
+leaden sky and hear the rain softly pattering on the tent roof, after
+many days of sweltering, dazzling heat, _when one is in a comfortable
+tent_. But it makes me think of and wish for a comfortable room at home,
+a good book, pipe, and an easy chair, the prospect outside beautifully
+dreary and rainy, a fire in front of me and my slippered feet on the
+library mantelpiece.
+
+A rather amusing incident occurred just now. One of the Devon Yeomanry
+who went up to the tent which is our post-office, on the off-chance of
+getting a letter, to his great astonishment got one. He came back eyeing
+the address suspiciously, and remarking, "It's tracts, I'm thinkin." His
+conjecture turned out correct. It appears that a certain thoughtful and
+religious society at home looks down the lists of the wounded and, now
+and again, sends some of the worst cases tracts. The title of one of the
+pamphlets was, "I've got my ticket," which amused us immensely, for to
+get one's ticket means to be booked for home. Another title was "The
+finger of God"--this to a man who has had an explosive bullet through
+his forearm seems rather rough.
+
+I fear my letters are becoming dreadfully reminiscent and anecdotal, but
+adventures and wanderings are not for the man who loafs in hospital.
+
+Wednesday, February 13th. I am all _kiff_ (military for "right"). This
+morning we had a mild joke with a new night orderly. As you may be
+aware, it is this gentleman's duty to wash all the bad bed patients.
+When he came in soon after _reveille_ and asked if there were any bed
+patients to be washed, we all feebly replied, "Yes, all of us," and he
+had ablutionised three before he discovered the deception, when he
+anathematised us all.
+
+News is more rigorously suppressed than ever, and undoubtedly it is the
+right thing to do. Everybody is of this opinion, for the _friendly_
+Dutch in Pretoria and elsewhere used to know far too much.
+
+
+OUR ORDERLY'S BLIGHTED HEART.
+
+Friday. Yesterday was unfortunately the day of Valentine the Saint. I
+say "unfortunately" for this reason: I was just about to continue this
+letter, when our day orderly came in, and taking advantage of my
+sympathetic and credulous nature, after boldly reminding me that it was
+St. Valentine's Day, told me that he had only loved once and never would
+again.
+
+In this respect he differs considerably from the majority of orderlies.
+He then comfortably arranged himself on a vacant bed, and unsolicited,
+with a smiling face, told me the romantic story of his blighted
+affection. As it may interest you, I will give you a condensed version
+of the same. Would to Heaven he had so dealt with me. But I was born to
+suffer, and was I not in hospital? As a coster lad he went with a young
+woman who loved him. He also loved her. Her name was Olivia. She went
+upon the "styge," and loved him still. Then an old nobleman (Sir ----)
+fell in love with her, followed her persistently, and wooed her through
+her parents. He was rich but honest, and it was a case of December and
+April, for she was all showers--of tears. At last, against her heart's
+dictates, she married him and became an old man's pet--nuisance, I
+should imagine, and my orderly friend became a soldier. Alas for the
+trio, she could not forget her old, I mean young, love, and eventually
+blew her brains out in Paris. They spattered the ceiling and ruined the
+carpet--I forgot the rest, (there was a lovely account of it in the
+_People_), for over-taxed nature could stand no more, and I fell asleep
+dreaming of reporters wading ankle-deep in blood in a Louis Quatorze
+drawing-room, taking notes of a terrible tragedy in high life, and was
+horrified to hear a loud report, followed by a gurgling sound, and,
+opening my eyes, beheld--Mr. Orderly holding one of my bottles of stout
+upside down to his lips, and in his other hand my corkscrew with a cork
+on the end of it.
+
+Private McLaughlan, of the Inniskillings, having heard of this, informed
+me that he "jined th' Army" because his father would not let him keep
+five racehorses; and Private Hewitt, of the 12th M.I., gave his reason
+as being his refusal to marry a _h_eiress. After this our orderly ceased
+from troubling--for a time.
+
+Amongst the many sad cases I have come across, here is one which strikes
+me as being particularly pitiable. A poor fellow of the 2nd Lincolns is
+the patient I am thinking about. He is deaf, deaf as a stone wall, is
+sickening for enteric, cannot read, and is at times delirious. The tent
+the poor fellow is in is not a very good one, and he seems quite
+friendless. There he lies in his bed, never uttering a word or hearing
+one, and as helpless as a child. Some mornings back I saw him eating his
+porridge with his fingers, the man who had handed it to him having
+forgotten to give him a spoon. His utter loneliness seems too awful. I
+wonder what his poor mind thinks about. When told that he would
+probably be sent home, he said he did not want to go. Surely somewhere
+in God's sweet world there is somebody who cares for and thinks about
+him. I cannot half express to you the sadness of his solitude.
+
+
+SOUTHWARD HO!
+
+                                        NO. 2 HOSPITAL TRAIN,
+                                         _Monday, February 18th._
+
+On Friday I had my sheet marked with those magic words "For base,"
+paraded on Saturday morning before the P.M.O., and a few hours later was
+told to go to the pack store, draw my kit, and be ready to entrain at
+five. So I had to rush about.
+
+It was soon time to parade for the station, and I had to rush through as
+many leave-takings as possible. Good-bye to Sister Douglas, Sister
+Mavius, Sister O'Connor; to an Australian Bushman friend with injured
+toes, who hobbles about on his heels; to poor old Scotty, the New
+Zealander, as game as they make them, who is to have his right arm off
+on Monday (to-day); to a big, good-natured gunner of No. 10 Mountain
+Battery, whose acquaintance I had only just made; to a Piccadilly
+Yeoman; to our day orderly, and dozens of other good fellows, and I had
+said farewell, or perhaps only _au revoir_, to the I.Y. Hospital
+Arcadia, with the doctor of our ward, Dr. Douglas, one of the cleverest
+and best, the Sisters with their albums, and all its tragedies and
+comedies. Perjuring my soul beyond redemption by cordial promises to
+write to all and sundry, so I left them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Once aboard the lugger, I should say train, our berths were allotted to
+us, and we soon settled down. The whole thing is very much like being on
+shipboard, save that there the authorities are all for turning you out
+of your hammocks ("turn out o' them 'ammicks!"), and here they are all
+for keeping you in your bunk, the space being so limited. On each man's
+bed was a well-filled white canvas bag, being a present from the Good
+Hope and British Red Cross Societies. These were opened with no little
+curiosity. Strange to say one of the first things an old toothless
+Yorkshireman drew out was--a toothbrush. This caused general amusement.
+There was nothing shoddy about the contents of these bags; they
+contained a suit of pyjamas, shoes, a shirt, socks, towel, sponge bag
+with sponge, soap, and toothbrush in it, a hairbrush, and handkerchief.
+So could you but see me now, as I write, you would behold a being clad
+in a swagger suit of Cambridge blue pyjamas.
+
+Before daybreak a terrific bang aroused us to the fact that the engine
+which was to bear us southward had come into action, and soon we were
+under way. At Elandsfontein we beheld the mail train _with our mails_
+going up. Farewell to mails! Kroonstad was reached at half-past two, and
+we were shunted into a siding till this morning, when we resumed our
+journey, passing _through_ Bloemfontein, to our joy, and arriving at
+Springfontein soon after dark.
+
+What a gigantic affair this war has been, and is. To travel through
+these countries, the Transvaal, Orange River Colony, and the Cape Colony
+(Tuesday morning, we are now in the latter) by rail alone is to feel all
+criticism silenced.
+
+Already we have passed hundreds of miles of flat veldt, with now and
+again big kopjes in the background. At every station, bridge, and small
+culvert are bodies of regulars, militia, and volunteers, or colonial and
+other mounted troops. And when one considers that the bigger towns are
+being strongly held, also various posts all over these countries, and
+columns are operating in various districts, the whole affair fills one
+with wonder and admiration. We expect to reach Deelfontein this evening.
+An R.A.M.C. man has just been discussing that ghastly failure,
+inoculation, with another man. Said he: "Inoculation is bally
+tommy-rot!" Quoth the other, "That be hanged for a yarn. Tommy rot,
+indeed, it nearly killed me!" It's a fact, the unnecessary suffering
+which was endured by the poor beggars who allowed this experiment to be
+performed upon them, with the hope of spoofing the fever fiend, has been
+great. And strange to say, in many cases they (the inoculated) have been
+the first victims.
+
+Once again we are amongst our old enemies, the kopjes, which, south of
+the Orange River Colony, begin to assert themselves again. There has
+been any amount of rain down this way, and muddy water is flowing like
+the milk and honey of the promised land. From wet tents and saturated
+blanket kennels bronzed ragamuffins appear at every halting spot, and
+simultaneously they and we ask each other the old, old question, "Any
+news?"
+
+Sometimes they break the monotony of the negative by telling us that "De
+Wet is mortally wounded," or "has got away again," and we tell them that
+"Botha is surrounded." Some of the sanguine spirits aboard this train
+are buoying themselves up with the idea of getting home. Alas! there's
+many a slip 'twixt the land and the ship, as I fear they will find to
+their bitter disappointment.
+
+It is now Tuesday evening. We have just reached Naauwpoort, where we are
+spending the night. The Cape mail train has been detained here all day,
+the line ahead having been blown up, or some such thing, a train
+derailed and fired on, a Yeoman and several niggers killed, and other
+fellows injured. Brother Boer seems more in evidence down here than in
+any other place we have passed between Pretoria and this place.
+
+                                         IMPERIAL YEOMANRY HOSPITAL,
+                                           DEELFONTEIN.
+
+We arrived here on Thursday, February 21st. Between Naauwpoort and De
+Aar we passed the derailed train. Mr. Boer had done his work well--from
+his point of view. The engine (575) was lying on its side quite smashed,
+as were also several broken and splintered trucks, while a few graves
+completed the picture. But the line was intact once again. An officer of
+Engineers and some men were standing by their completed task as we
+slowly came up and passed the spot.
+
+  Line Clear: o'er blood and sweat, and pain, and sorrow's road I ran,
+  And every sleeper was a wound, and every rail a man.
+
+The first person I beheld from the carriage window on arriving here was
+one of our Sussex fellows. He seemed very pleased to see me, and I
+certainly was to see him. He has been here a week or more, and in that
+time had acquainted himself with the ropes. Having been given
+accommodation in the emergency tent for the night, he took me by divers
+ways to a bell tent in which I found two or three men of Paget's Horse,
+acquaintances of the "Delphic" days, another Sussex man, and a large
+washing basin containing beer--obtained no matter how. Into the basin a
+broken cup and a tin mug were being constantly dipped. With this,
+cigarettes, and chatter, the evening passed very agreeably. Of course
+this is early to criticise the Hospital and its working, but the general
+impression of we ex-Arcadians is that the Pretoria shop is far superior.
+
+As regards reaching Cape Town, one cannot say much. A good many of our
+fellows have been sent back to Elandsfontein, which has been styled as
+"the home for lost Yeomanry." In the station, a few hundred yards off,
+is a fine khaki armoured train, with a pom-pom named "Edward VII."
+mounted on the centre truck.
+
+
+R.A.M.C. EXPERIENCES AND IMPRESSIONS.
+
+                                        WYNBERG HOSPITAL,
+                                          CAPE COLONY.
+                                          _Monday, February 25th, 1901._
+
+The above address may appear to you like a day's march nearer home, but
+it is more than likely nothing of the sort. Having once got the
+convalescent gentlemen in khaki down south as far as Cape Town, and
+raised the home yearning hearts of the aforementioned to an altitude
+beyond the loftiest peak of the Himalayas--the medical officers here
+return them as shuttlecocks from a battledore up country, and it's a
+case of "gentlemen in khaki ordered North."
+
+We arrived here this morning early, having left Deelfontein at daybreak
+yesterday (Sunday). Ambulance carts conveyed us to the Wynberg Hospital,
+where I now am.
+
+Tuesday, 26th. Wherever I go I seem to fall fairly well on my feet and
+meet old friends. In the next room (each ward is divided into rooms,
+these are barracks in time of peace) are two fellows who were in my tent
+at Pretoria; one was half-blinded by lightning. They are rattling good
+fellows. My bed chum, the man next to me, is a man of the Rifle Brigade,
+who has lost an eye, and, again, is a ripping fine chap. This is an
+R.A.M.C. show, and everything is regimental, dem'd regimental. We have
+the regulation barrack-room cots, which have to be limbered up and
+dressed with the familiar brown blankets and sheets in apple-pie or,
+rather, Swiss roll, order. Also, the locker has to be kept very neat and
+symmetrical. To drop a piece of paper in the room would be almost
+courting a court-martial. So, whenever I have a small piece of paper to
+throw away, I roam about like a criminal anxious to conceal a corpse,
+and am often nearly driven to chewing and swallowing it, after the
+well-known method of famous heroes and criminals.
+
+[Illustration: Tommy's Spittoon.
+
+In Hospital the bed-patients whose principal pleasure in smoking seems
+to be the spitting, have recourse to the above.]
+
+I have already referred to the confounded regimentality of this place.
+The very red cross on our virgin white R.A.M.C. banner is made of red
+tape, not bunting, I am positive. It almost goes without saying that we
+have to don, and never leave off, in the daytime, the cobalt blue
+uniform and huge red tie so dear to the controllers of these
+establishments. The blue trousers are terrible things, being lined with
+some thick material and kept up by a tape at the waist. A friend of mine
+in Paget's Horse will not have them called trousers, but always alludes
+to them as leg casings.
+
+I am not quite so particular about my food as formerly, but the Imperial
+Yeomanry Hospital at Pretoria must have spoiled me. Then, again, there
+was the Deelfontein one, so I must set aside my own opinion and give you
+that of others. The food (in our ward) is little and poor; being one
+pound of bread and an ounce of butter per day for men on _full_ rations,
+accompanied at morn and eventide by a purply fluid called "tea." At
+mid-day a tin of tough meat with a potato or two is served up, for which
+we are truly thankful. Amen! As regards recreation we get plenty of
+that--airing bedding, scrubbing lockers and floors, cleaning windows,
+whitewashing, washing our plates and other tinware after our sumptuous
+repasts, general tidying up, having rows with the sergeant-major, and a
+myriad other little pastimes help to while the hours away. In full view
+of our ward is the slate-coloured gun carriage which is used for
+conveying the unfittest to their last long rest. It is kept outside of a
+barn-like building, and its contemplation affords us much food (extra
+ration) for reflection. It is often used.
+
+
+THE MYTHICAL AND REAL OFFICER.[10]
+
+         [Footnote 10: An officer, for whom I have the highest esteem,
+         whilst kindly conveying to me his very favourable opinion of
+         these "Letters," regretted the inclusion of the following
+         "grouse" in these words: "When I think of many cheery, dirty,
+         ragged, half-starved youngsters I met out there, weighted
+         into an unaccustomed responsibility for men's lives and the
+         safety of their columns, and no more their own masters than
+         you were, bravely trying to do a duty which many of them
+         really loathed, I feel it is hard that a minority of
+         'rotters' should blacken the good name of the majority."]
+
+As I pause, and ponder what else I can tell you in this letter, it
+occurs to me that I have not yet told you of the one great disillusion
+of this campaign for me and _all_ other former civilians--I mean "The
+British Officer." The few remarks which I am now going to make are
+founded on the universal opinion of all the Regular soldiers and
+Colonial and home-bred Volunteers I have met out here. I have hesitated
+to give this verdict before, because it seemed like rank heresy or a
+kind of sacrilege; but having asked every man I have come across,
+especially the Regular soldier, his estimate of this person, and always
+receiving the same emphatic reply, I feel I can now make my few remarks
+without being regarded as too hasty or ill-informed.
+
+There are officers who are real good fellows, and of these I will tell
+presently; but there are others--_heaps of others_. These latter are
+selfish, and frequently incompetent beings, without the slightest
+consideration for their men, and with a terrible amount for their dear
+selves. Talk about their roughing it! Most of these individuals have the
+best of camp beds to rest on, servants to wait on them, good stuff to
+eat, and, more often than not, whisky, or brandy to drink. And, oh, my
+sisters, oh, my brothers, when _they_ have to commence roughing it, it
+is hard indeed for poor Tommy. Many a tale have I heard of thirsty tired
+Tommies being refused their water cart in camp, as the officers required
+the water out of it for their baths.
+
+The beautiful stories, on the other hand, of the officer being troubled
+because his men were in bad case, and sharing the contents of his
+haversack or water bottle with a poor "done-up" Tommy, are generally
+pure fiction. To hear of Tommy sharing with a chum or a stranger is
+common enough. Out here one learns to appreciate the ranker more, and
+the commissioned man less. And when one comes across a good officer, how
+he is appreciated! Often when I have asked a regular what sort of
+officers he had, and received the invariable emphatic reply, he has
+stopped, and in quite a different voice, with a smile on his face, said,
+"But there was Mr. ----; now he was a _real_ gentleman." And then he has
+waxed eloquent in this popular officer's praises, relating how "he used
+to be like one of ourselves," insisted on taking his relief at digging
+trenches, came and chatted to them round their fires at night, and in
+scores of ways endeared himself to their hearts.
+
+My Rifle friend has just been telling me of such an officer, a young one
+they had, named Wilson (how he eulogised Mr. Wilson! "He was a good 'un,
+he was. A _real_ gentleman"). He died, poor fellow, up Lydenburg way.
+Then he told me of another, a Mr. Baker-Carr; of him he said, "And there
+isn't a man of us to-day who, if he was in danger, wouldn't die for
+him."
+
+As for the opinion of the Colonials of our officers, you surely know
+that. This little anecdote expresses pretty well how they stand one with
+the other:
+
+     SCENE--PRETORIA.
+
+     New Zealander, just in from trek, passing, pipe in mouth, by a
+     young officer just out.
+
+     _Officer_ (stopping New Zealander): "Do you know who I am?"
+
+     _N.Z._ (removing pipe): "No."
+
+     _Officer_: "I am an officer!"
+
+     _N.Z._: "Oh."
+
+     _Officer_: "I--am--an--officer!"
+
+     _N.Z._: "Well, take an old soldier's advice and don't get drunk
+     and lose your commission."
+
+     _Officer_: "D---- you. Don't you salute an officer when you see
+     one?"
+
+     _N.Z._ (very calmly): "D---- and dot you! It's seldom we salute
+     our own officers, so it isn't likely we'd salute you."
+
+     _Officer_: "Confound it. If you couldn't stand discipline, what
+     did you come out here for?"
+
+     _N.Z._: "To fight."
+
+     _Officer_ (moving on): "I suppose you are one of those damned
+     Colonials."
+
+
+THE R.A.M.C. SERGEANT-MAJOR, AND OTHER ANNOYANCES.
+
+That very great, august and omnipotent being, the Sergeant-Major of this
+establishment, has just been round. His motto is, I fancy, "_Veni, vidi,
+vici_." To him nothing is ever perfect, save himself. He entered,
+"Shun!" and we stood at attention by our cots. A trembling sergeant and
+orderly followed in his train. Upon us, one by one, he pounced, this
+"brave, silent (?) man" at the back. My blue fal-de-lal jacket he
+unbuttoned and revealed, horror of horrors, very crime of crimes, the
+fact that I was not wearing the monstrous red scarf which, according to
+the laws of the R.A.M.C., which alter not, must always be worn by all
+patients at all times, in life, or even in death, I presume. And
+further, a most perspiring bare chest revealed the heinous fact that I
+had omitted to put on the _thick_ flannel shirt which has to be worn
+under the coarse white cotton one. Why wasn't I wearing this article? I
+explained that I was too hot already. That did not matter a Continental.
+Where was it? I produced it from under a bed near by and managed to
+avoid putting it on in his presence, as that would have still further
+revealed that I was wearing a belt containing money, which is contrary
+to Rule No. something or other, in which it is emphatically laid down
+that all jewels, money, and valuables are to be given in to the
+staff-sergeant in charge of the pack store, who will give a receipt for
+the same, &c., and so forth. Verily the backbone of the Army is the
+non-commissioned man, but I must confess to frequently wishing to break,
+or at least dislocate, that backbone.
+
+The mosquitoes here seem rather more troublesome than their Pretoria
+relatives. There are twenty men in the next room, and only three of us
+here; and we three get a frightful lot of attention from these
+_skeeturs_. They seem vicious as well as hungry. We fancy this is to be
+explained by the fact that they had been marked down from up country for
+the base and England, and are enraged at being kept here with the
+prospect of being returned whence they came; their hunger in this
+R.A.M.C. Hospital we can understand, and would sympathise with more if
+they did not treat us as rations. Other patients have a theory that they
+are the lost and much damned spirits of R.A.M.C. officers,
+non-commissioned officers, and men, who have gone before and come back
+to their old earthly billet. But of course these are all mere surmises,
+and hardly to be regarded seriously. On Thursday I am to be sent to
+Rondebosch, Tommy's oft and ever-repeated cry, "Roll on, dear old
+Blighty" (England), seems vainer than ever as time spins out its endless
+cocoon.
+
+
+AT THE BASE.
+
+                                        MCKENZIE'S FARM,
+                                          MAITLAND (once again).
+                                            _Sunday, March 3rd, 1901._
+
+Of late my addresses have been many and varied. The above is the latest.
+I have filtered through into Maitland, which has changed considerably
+since last April. On Thursday last I left Wynberg for the convalescent
+camp at Rondebosch without any regret, for, as a matter of fact, I was
+getting hungry. On the afternoon of that day I found myself one of a
+very unselect-looking band of khaki men, parading before the terrible
+R.A.M.C. Sergt.-Major of the Wynberg Hospital.
+
+Just before parading, I saw the gun carriage, alluded to in my last,
+being used; going past our ward, in slow time, with reversed arms, went
+the perspiring and, let us hope not, but I fear 'twas so, the angry
+Tommies told off as the escort. Then came the gun carriage with its
+flag-covered burden. Only another enteric, only another broken heart or
+so at home, another vacant chair to look at and sigh, and the small but
+strictly regimental and unsympathetic procession had passed; and the
+half-interrupted conversation in the ward went gaily on. Having paraded
+and answered to our names, a doctor strolled down the ranks questioning
+us, "Are you all right?" All those who answered said "Yes." The question
+was supposed to be put individually, but by the time he got to where I
+was, the worthy man was slurring over about three or four at a time. I
+didn't trouble to reply, it being obviously unnecessary. About
+half-an-hour later, the ambulance carts came up, which were to bear us
+to Rondebosch, and we were ordered to carry our kits down and get in. So
+the halt and the broken picked up their kits--some of them were very
+heavy--and staggered with them to the carts, a distance of about fifty
+yards.
+
+In particular, I noticed one poor fellow, a gunner of the 37th Battery,
+R.F.A. A water cart had gone over him at Mafeking, and fractured three
+ribs and affected his spine. The poor, emaciated, bent figure of what
+had once been a smart soldier lifted a rather heavy kit and tottered
+towards the carts. I felt disgusted at seeing such unnecessary labour
+thrust on a man, who never should have left the hospital save to go
+home. But he had been turned out by the powers which be, and--I was
+going to say shouldn't, but the R.A.M.C. are all honourable men--when I
+saw a sprightly, well-fed R.A.M.C. Lance-Corporal walking smartly after
+him, and in a relieved voice I remarked to the man on my left: "The
+Corporal is going to carry it for him," to which my neighbour remarked:
+"He can't, he's got a stripe." And, begad, he didn't! He passed him,
+apparently not having noticed him. I shall have a little more to tell
+you of the gunner presently.
+
+The drive to Rondebosch, through Wynberg, Kenilworth and Claremont, was
+lovely beyond words. I had a box seat, and as we drove through the
+avenues of trees, down the roads, with the gardens of the
+comfortable-looking bungalows a mass of green foliage and tropical
+blooms on either side of us, I felt like a gaol-bird escaped from his
+cage. You may laugh at me if you like, but there I sat with dilating
+nostrils and eyes, absorbing all I could. Often we passed English girls
+in white costumes, and pretty, clean-looking children. It was a real
+treat. Of course, they took no notice of us. We were a common and not
+altogether pleasing looking lot, many among us being
+
+     "Poor fighting men, broke in her wars."
+
+At last the pleasant drive came to its end, and we entered the
+Rondebosch camp. I was told off with 25 others to a hut, drew bedding
+and blankets--which included bugs--had some tea at a coffee bar, looked
+about, and turned in for the night. Alas! that night and others.
+Rondebosch boasts of a dry canteen and _another_, where Tommy can obtain
+beer, oftentimes called "Glorious Beer," even as we allude to "Glorious
+War." Over the sale of this to men, fresh from the hospitals recovering
+from enteric, wounds, and so forth, there is no restriction. The result
+needs no imagination--copious libations, songs, rows, and vomitings.
+
+The next day I was put on as Orderly Sergeant. Now, if I was
+Sergeant-Major and had among my subordinate "non-coms." a man I wished
+to get into trouble, I should make him an Orderly Sergeant at
+Rondebosch. About every half-hour the bugles went "Orderly Sergeants,"
+and up I doubled. In all, I attended about a score of these summonses,
+and even then omitted to report a man who had been absent since
+_reveille_.
+
+This last sin of omission came about in this way. I was anxious to turn
+in early and get a little sleep if possible, but could not do so, as I
+had to report "all present and correct" at tattoo. Anyhow, I strolled
+down to our hut at nine o'clock and found that the poor gunner alluded
+to already was in great pain, writhing about and groaning horribly. One
+of his chums who was with him told me he could not find a doctor, and
+the chaplain, who had looked in, had said that he could not get him even
+a drop of hot water.
+
+The poor fellow was really bad, and thought he was going out, and I
+should not have been surprised if he had. Soon a few more chums came in,
+somewhat beery, and commenced to buck him up. The great method
+apparently on such occasions is to grip the sufferer's hand very
+tightly, pull him about a good deal, punch him now and again, and tell
+him to bear up. "Stick it, mate! * * * it, you ain't going to * * * well
+die! Stick it, mate!" And there he lay, with his pals, fresh from the
+canteen, exhorting him to stick it, a poor broken Reserve man, with a
+wife and children across the seas. At last I went and, after no little
+bother, discovered an R.A.M.C. Sergeant, who found his Sergeant-Major,
+and the two came with me to our hut. The result was a mustard leaf,
+which was sent down to me to place on the sufferer. With this on the
+left side of his stomach, bugs biting, mosquitoes worrying, and comrades
+lurching in, singing and rowing, and beds collapsing, the night passed.
+The next day the doctor saw him, and he was returned to Wynberg.[11]
+
+         [Footnote 11: I met him again looking much better and in the
+         best of spirits on the _Aurania_, being invalided home.]
+
+In the afternoon we paraded and came on here. In the evening I slipped
+off to Cape Town and met a friend, with whom I dined at the "Grand."
+Having a decent dinner and amongst decently dressed people made me feel
+quite a Christian, though as a matter of fact, most of the diners
+appeared to be Jews. The sheenie man refugee is still very much in
+evidence, and though he sells things at ruinous prices (for himself, he
+says) seems to do well.
+
+Tuesday, March 6th. After being kept outside the doctor's bureau from 9
+till 12.30, the great man, the controller of fates, the donor of
+tickets, the Maitland medicine man, has seen me, and, whatever he has
+done, has not marked me for home.
+
+
+ANOTHER ALBUM!!
+
+                                        _March 9th._
+
+To weary you with a further continuation of the experiences of a forlorn
+Yeoman, who, having drifted from Pretoria, now finds himself on the
+sands of Maitland, with a distant and tantalising view of the sea and
+its ships, seems an unworthy thing to do. But, alas! I have acquired a
+terrible habit of letter-writing. News or no news, given the
+opportunity, I religiously once a week contribute to the English mail
+bag; so here goes for a really short letter.
+
+On Thursday, having endured as much toothache as I deemed expedient
+without complaint, and goaded on by a sleepless night, I paraded before
+the doctor, and having borne with him moderately and half satisfied his
+credulity, obtained from him a note to a Cape Town dentist for the
+following day. I am now in that being's hands, he has considerately
+assured me that no man is a hero to his own dentist.
+
+In Cape Town there are two topics--the town guard and the plague, known
+as bubonic; owing to the latter, great is the stink of disinfectants.
+
+I have already made allusions to the "Sisters' Albums" and the
+contributions which they levied. Here at McKenzie's Farm, I have struck
+another style of book. This is run by Sergeant-Major Fownes (10th
+Hussars) who is in charge of all of the Yeomanry at the base. It is a
+"Confession Book," containing reasons "Why I joined the Imperial
+Yeomanry" and "Why I left." It has been contributed to by members of
+nearly every I.Y. squadron in South Africa. Thanks to the courtesy of
+its owner, I am able to give you a selection from its contents, omitting
+the names and squadrons of the contributors only.
+
+
+
+
+WHY I JOINED THE YEOMANRY.
+
+
+   1. To escape my creditors.
+
+   2. Patriotism.
+
+   3. Because I was sick of England.
+
+   4. Could always ride, could always shoot,
+     Thought of duty, thought of loot.
+
+   5. "England Expects ----" (you know the rest).
+
+   6. To injure the Boers.
+
+   7. (All Excuses used up.)
+
+   8. I considered it was the right thing for an Englishman
+      to do.
+
+   9. Because I thought it was my duty.
+
+  10. A broken heart.
+
+  11. Anxiety to get to South Africa.
+
+  12. For the sake of a little excitement, which I can't get at
+      home and didn't get out here.
+
+  13. Patriotic Fever!!!
+
+  14. I did it during the Patriotic Mania, 1899-1900. Under
+      like circumstances believe I'd do it again.
+
+  15. Sudden splash of Patriotism upon visiting a Music Hall.
+
+  16. Poetry.
+
+  17. "Married in haste."
+
+  18. Because I did not bring my aged and respected father
+      up properly.
+
+  19. To kill Time and Boers.
+
+  20. Because I am Irish and wanted to fight.
+
+  21. Love of War.
+
+  22. For Sport.
+
+  23. My Country's call my ardour fired.
+
+  24. Because I was tired of the Old Country.
+
+  25. Old England's Honour, Glory, Fame,
+      Such thoughts were in my mind.
+      To die the last but not disgraced,
+      A V.C. perhaps to find.
+      To sound the charge, to meet the foe,
+      To win or wounded lie,
+      My firstborn son and I should fight
+      And, if the needs be, die.
+
+  26. Hungry for a fight.
+
+  27. Drink and Drink.
+
+  28. Vanity.
+
+  29. Because I thought:
+
+      1 'Twas a glorious life on the veldt,
+        So unrestrained and free. (_Note. Read opposite page._)
+
+      2 'Twas grand to lie 'neath the star-lit sky
+        In a blanket warm and nice.
+
+      3 'Twas exciting to gallop over the plains
+        To the music of the Mausers.
+
+      4 Bully beef and biscuits are all very well,
+        And so, for a time, is jam.
+
+  30. To have a lively time.
+
+  31. Wanted to see a little of South Africa.
+
+  32. Came out on Chance.
+
+  33. To escape the Police at home.
+
+  34. Had always preached Patriotism and thought it was the
+      time to put theory into practice.
+
+  35. Because I had nothing to do at home
+      Bar drinking whiskies and sodas alone,
+      And shooting pheasants which is beastly slow,
+      So I thought I'd give the Bo-ahs a show.
+
+  36. Thought I would get the V.C.
+
+  37. A soldier's son and a volunteer
+      Heaps of glory, bags of beer.
+
+  38. To become acquainted with Colonials before settling.
+
+  39. For adventure.
+
+  40. Northumbria's reply, "Duty."
+
+
+  WHY I LEFT.
+
+   1. The old man stumped up and I am in no danger of
+      receiving a blue paper.
+
+   2. Captured at Lindley. Too much mealie porridge and rice.
+
+   3. Because I have changed my mind.
+
+   4. Gammy leg, couldn't ride,
+      Sent to Cape Town, had to slide.
+
+   5. "Go not too often into thy neighbour's house, lest he be
+      weary of thee!"
+
+      HOSPITALS.
+
+      1. Imperial Yeomanry Field. 2. Johannesburg Civil.
+      3. No. 6 General. 4. No. 9 General. 5. No. 8 General.
+      6. Deelfontein. 7. Maitland.
+
+   6. Because they injured me.
+
+   7. Love of my native land (England).
+
+   8. I did not get enough fighting, but too much messing
+      about.
+
+   9. "FED UP!!!"
+
+  10. A broken leg (more serious and imperative).
+
+  11. Anxiety to get away from it.
+
+  12. Joined B.P.'s Police Force to still search for the
+      impossible.
+
+  13. Enteric Fever!!!
+
+  14. Ill health.
+
+  15. Bathing one day, found varicose veins much to my
+      delight. Invalided.
+
+  16. Prose.
+
+  17. "Repented at leisure."
+
+  18. To see if he has improved.
+
+  19. Because Time and Boers wait for no man.
+
+  20. Because I want to do more fighting and am joining the
+      S.A.C.
+
+  21. Love of Peace.
+
+  22. Time for close season.
+
+  23. The "Crisis" o'er, I've now retired.
+
+  24. Because I was sick of the New.
+
+  25. Alas, no Glory have I earned,
+      No Trumpet's Requiem found,
+      Altho' I've laid upon the veldt,
+      With scanty comfort round.
+      My son has seen more fights than I,
+      Tho' he is scarce fifteen,
+      Whilst I must sound my trumpet at
+      The Yeoman's Base-fontein.
+                        SERGT.-TRUMPETER (McKenzie's Farm).
+
+  26. Appetite appeased.
+
+  27. Drink and Drink.
+
+  28. Vexation of Spirit.
+
+  29. But I found:
+
+      1 That after twelve months of the same I felt
+        It was not the life for me.
+
+      2 That when you wanted to go to sleep,
+        You're scratching and hunting for l--ce.
+
+      3 That 'twas very unpleasant to ride all day
+        When you'd lost the seat of your trousers.
+
+      4 That to get nothing else for more than six months,
+        Would make any fellow say "D----!"
+
+  30. What with Mausers by day and crawlers by night. I
+      had it.
+
+  31. Have seen enough.
+
+  32. Going home to a Certainty.
+
+  33. Same reason here.
+
+  34. The Patriotic Fever has run its natural course.
+
+  35. Because the Bo-ahs shot me instead,
+      And the papers (confound them) reported me "dead,"
+      That sort of game is rather too bad,
+      So the prodigal now returns to his dad.
+
+  36. Got C.B. instead!
+
+  37. Bags of biscuits hard as rocks,
+      Smashed my teeth and gave me sox!
+
+  38. To join the Bodyguard for same reason and--_better pay_.
+
+  39. To go back to a hum-drum life, which is better than a
+      Dum-Dum death.
+
+  40. Novelty somewhat worn off, and military discipline not
+      being at all adapted to my temperament.
+
+In a few days all the men marked for home will be leaving, and to those
+they will be leaving behind them the yearning to be on the sea once
+again, seems stronger than ever,
+
+  "Can you hear the crash on her bows, dear lass,
+  And the drum of the racing screw.
+  As she ships it green on the old trail, our own trail, the home trail,
+  As she lifts and 'scends on the long trail--the trail that is always
+                                                                new?"
+
+
+HOME.
+
+                                        ENGLAND-FONTEIN
+                                         _April 22nd, 1901._
+
+  "We're goin' 'ome, we're goin' 'ome,
+    Our ship is at the shore,
+  An' you must pack your 'aversack,
+    _For we won't come back no more_."
+
+So from going up to Elandsfontein, which is by Johannesburg, it came to
+the above cheerful sentiment. And this is how it happened. An order came
+from somewhere to our doctor, who had of late so hardened his heart, to
+"invalid convalescents freely," and, to be brief, within a few days
+nearly every man at Maitland was marked for home, wore a smiling face,
+and drew warm clothes for the voyage.
+
+The next burning questions were "What boat will it be and when does she
+sail?" Needless to say, these interrogatories were answered at least
+thrice a day, and were always wide of the mark. Still, we were booked
+for home, and could afford to wait cheerfully. Our hut (No. 1),
+inhabited by the thirty best men in the camp (any man of that hut will
+tell you this assertion is correct), thereupon blossomed forth as the
+publishing and editorial offices of a camp newspaper known as the
+
+  "LATEST DEVELOPMENTS GAZETTE,"
+    WITH WHICH IS INCORPORATED
+       "THE COOKHOUSE NEWS."
+
+In this journal shipping intelligence was a speciality, and topical
+cartoons a great feature. We claimed the largest circulation in the
+camp. The various articles, stop-press news, and cartoons, were stuck on
+the walls of the hut and afforded much entertainment. Of course, B.P.
+was very unpopular in Cape Town and with us, and had to be dealt with
+severely. (Note.--Not the Mafeking man or the "worth a guinea a box"
+lot, but the Bubonic Plague).
+
+A few days before sailing I caught sight of a well-known name in the
+dread casualty list: "69th Co. I.Y., 16,424, Trooper R. Blake, (severely
+wounded, since dead). Hartebeestefontein." "Poor Blake!" He used to sing
+at our concerts on the boat coming out, at our bivouac fire when we
+indulged in an impromptu sing-song, and at Pretoria, when in the police,
+he often appeared at the various musical entertainments held in the town
+or hospitals. His mimicry of a growling or barking dog, big or small,
+was marvellous and notorious. I remember once how a fellow on one
+occasion, accustomed to Master Blake's games, on hearing a persistent
+yapping at his heels, at length said "Oh, shut up, young Blake!" and
+turned round to see a live terrier there. A verse in the last issue of
+our paper, expressed, in a humble way, every man's feelings on such
+matters.
+
+  We are leaving them behind us,
+    'Neath the veldt and by the town,
+  The men who joined and fought with us,
+    Who shared each up and down.
+  We are going home without them,
+    But our thoughts will on them dwell,
+  We shall often talk about them,
+    Good comrades all, farewell!
+
+The day before we left, the sketches and other matter were sold by
+auction, it having been previously decided to devote the proceeds of the
+sale to the last No. 1 Hut annual ball. By way of explanation, it must
+be noted that the hut had an annual ball _once a week_, "dancing
+strictly prohibited." To be explicit, the annual ball was a weekly
+dinner. The auction was a great success, a real auctioneer presiding,
+well over L10 being realised.
+
+The farewell dinner was a grand affair and very convivial. To my
+surprise I was presented with a handsome silver cigarette case by the
+so-called staff of the "L.D. News" as a token of good will and their
+appreciation of my humble efforts to relieve the monotony of camp life.
+
+The next day, Friday, March 29th, we embarked on the transport
+"Aurania," and, as the sun was setting, bade a sarcastic good-bye to
+Table Mountain.
+
+As regards the voyage home, which was accomplished in three weeks, much
+might be said, but probably little of particular interest. A transport
+is not a very luxurious affair for the common soldier, though the
+accommodation for the officers amply atones for what may be lacking for
+the ninety-and-nine, as it were. But what on earth, or sea, did it
+matter, we were going home.
+
+Good Friday was not a success, an officer committed suicide, a sergeant
+in the Royal Sussex died of dysentery, the engines broke down, and we
+had no buns. At St. Vincent we stopped two-and-a-half days to coal, and
+flew the yellow flag at the fore, being in quarantine on account of the
+Bubonic outbreak at Cape Town. In the Bay of Biscay a Yeoman comrade
+died of enteric, and was buried two days from home. Friday, the 18th, on
+a lovely spring morning, the sea being as smooth as glass, we sighted
+the cliffs of England once again.
+
+  "England, my England."
+
+Then we commenced passing shipping; a man at the tiller of a Cornish
+fishing boat waving his cap to us made it clear that we were getting
+back to our real ain folk once more. At eight in the evening we were
+lying off Netley Hospital, and taking in the proffered advice of a large
+board in a field by the waterside to eat Quaker Oats, and by twelve
+o'clock the following night I was home once again.
+
+The treking, the fighting, the guards and pickets, the hospitals are
+done with now. My small part in the game has been played, and, with a
+slight and permissible alteration, the concluding lines of a favourite
+poem must end these simple records.
+
+  "But to-day I leave the Army, shall I curse its service then?
+  God be thanked, whate'er comes after, I have lived and toiled with men!"
+
+
+BURFIELD & PENNELLS, PRINTERS, HASTINGS.
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A YEOMAN'S LETTERS***
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