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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/28576-h.zip b/28576-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9af9a9c --- /dev/null +++ b/28576-h.zip diff --git a/28576-h/28576-h.htm b/28576-h/28576-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..36b254b --- /dev/null +++ b/28576-h/28576-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1611 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of Cutting It Out; How to Get On the Waterwagon and Stay There, by Samuel G. Blythe. + </title> + <style type="text/css"> + + p { margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; + } + h1 { text-align: center; line-height: 1.5; clear: both; } + + h2,h3 { text-align: center; clear: both; } + + p.title { text-align: center; text-indent: 0; + font-weight: bold; + line-height: 1.4; margin-bottom: 3em; } + + hr { width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; + } + + body{margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + } + + .pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ + /* visibility: hidden; */ + position: absolute; + left: 92%; + font-size: smaller; + text-align: right; + } /* page numbers */ + + .bbox {border: solid 2px; padding: 1em; width: 50%; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;} + + .center {text-align: center;} + .smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + + .figcenter {margin: auto; text-align: center;} + +dd, li {margin-top: 0.50em; margin-bottom: 0; + line-height: 1.2em; /* a bit closer than p's */} + +.lsoff { list-style-type: none; } + +ul { list-style-type: none; + position: relative; + margin-right: 18%; + margin-left: 15%; } + + ol.toc { /* styling the Table of Contents */ + list-style-type: upper-roman; + position: relative; /* makes a "container" for span.tocright */ + margin-right: 20%; /* pulls the page#s in a skosh */ + margin-left: 20%; } + +span.tocright { /* use absolute positioning to move page# right */ + position: absolute; right: 10%;} + + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Cutting It out, by Samuel G. Blythe + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Cutting It out + How to get on the waterwagon and stay there + +Author: Samuel G. Blythe + +Release Date: April 22, 2009 [EBook #28576] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CUTTING IT OUT *** + + + + +Produced by Diane Monico and The Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + +</pre> + + + + + +<p class="figcenter" style="width: 377px;"> +<img src="images/image001.jpg" width="377" height="600" alt="(cover)" title="" /> +</p> + +<h1>CUTTING IT OUT</h1> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p class="center"><i>In Press</i><br /> + +<i>By the Same Author</i><br /><br /> + +THE FUN OF GETTING THIN</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + + +<h1><big>CUTTING IT OUT</big><br /> +<small>HOW TO GET ON THE WATERWAGON<br /> +AND STAY THERE</small><br /> +<br /> +</h1> + +<p class="title"><small>BY</small><br /> +<big>SAMUEL G. BLYTHE</big> +<br /> +<br /></p> +<p class="figcenter" style="width: 100px;"> +<img src="images/image002.png" width="100" height="92" alt="(publisher's symbol)" title="" /> +<br /><br /></p> + +<p class="title">CHICAGO<br /> +<big>FORBES & COMPANY</big><br /> +1912<br /> +</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p class="center"> +<small>COPYRIGHT, 1911, BY<br /> +THE CURTIS PUBLISHING CO.<br /> +<br /> +COPYRIGHT, 1912, BY<br /> +FORBES AND COMPANY</small><br /> +</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CONTENTS" id="CONTENTS"></a>CONTENTS</h2> + + + +<ul> +<li class="lsoff">CHAPTER <span class="tocright">PAGE</span></li> +</ul> +<ol class="toc"> +<li>Why I Quit <span class="tocright"><a href="#Page_9">9</a></span></li> + +<li>How I Quit <span class="tocright"><a href="#Page_21">21</a></span></li> + +<li>What I Quit <span class="tocright"><a href="#Page_31">31</a></span></li> + +<li>When I Quit <span class="tocright"><a href="#Page_45">45</a></span></li> + +<li>After I Quit <span class="tocright"><a href="#Page_57">57</a></span></li> +</ol> + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="Publishers_Note" id="Publishers_Note"></a><span class="smcap">Publisher's Note</span></h2> + + +<p class="center">This work originally appeared +in <i>The Saturday Evening Post</i> +under the title "On the Water-Wagon."</p> + + + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span></p><hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><big>CUTTING IT OUT</big></h2> +<hr style="width: 15%;" /> + + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_I" id="CHAPTER_I"></a>CHAPTER I<br /><br /> + +WHY I QUIT</h2> + + +<p>First off, let me state the object +of the meeting: This is +to be a record of sundry experiences +centering round a stern resolve +to get on the waterwagon +and a sterner attempt to stay there. +It is an entirely personal narrative +of a strictly personal set of circumstances. +It is not a temperance lecture, +or a temperance tract, or a +chunk of advice, or a shuddering +recital of the woes of a horrible example,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span> +or a warning, or an admonition—or +anything at all but a plain +tale of an adventure that started +out rather vaguely and wound up +rather satisfactorily.</p> + +<p>I am no brand that was snatched +from the burning; no sot who +picked himself or was picked from +the gutter; no drunkard who almost +wrecked a promising career; +no constitutional or congenital +souse. I drank liquor the same +way hundreds of thousands of men +drink it—drank liquor and attended +to my business, and got along +well, and kept my health, and provided +for my family, and maintained +my position in the community. +I felt I had a perfect right<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span> +to drink liquor just as I had a perfect +right to stop drinking it. I +never considered my drinking in +any way immoral.</p> + +<p>I was decent, respectable, a gentleman, +who drank only with gentlemen +and as a gentleman should +drink if he pleases. I didn't care +whether any one else drank—and +do not now. I didn't care whether +any one else cared whether I drank—and +do not now. I am no reformer, +no lecturer, no preacher. I quit +because I wanted to, not because +I had to. I didn't swear off, nor +take any vow, nor sign any pledge. +I am no moral censor. It is even +possible that I might go out this +afternoon and take a drink. I am<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span> +quite sure I shall not—but I might. +As far as my trip into Teetotal +Land is concerned, it is an individual +proposition and nothing else. I +am no example for other men who +drink as much as I did, or more, +or less—but I assume my experiences +are somewhat typical, for I +am sure my drinking was very typical; +and a recital of those experiences +and the conclusions thereon +is what is before the house.</p> + +<p>I quit drinking because I quit +drinking. I had a very fair batting +average in the Booze League—as +good as I thought necessary; and +I knew if I stopped when my record +was good the situation would +be satisfactory to me, whether it<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span> +was to any other person or not. +Moreover, I figured it out that the +time to stop drinking was when it +wasn't necessary to stop—not when +it was necessary. I had been observing +during the twenty years +I had been drinking, more or less, +and I had known a good many men +who stopped drinking when the +doctors told them to. Furthermore, +it had been my observation that +when a doctor tells a man to stop +drinking it usually doesn't make +much difference whether he stops +or not. In a good many cases he +might just as well keep on and die +happily, for he's going to die anyhow; +and the few months he will +grab through his abstinence will<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span> +not amount to anything when the +miseries of that abstinence are duly +chalked up in the debit column.</p> + +<p>Therefore, applying the cold, +hard logic of the situation to it, +I decided to beat the liquor to it.</p> + +<p>That was the reason for stopping—purely +selfish, personal, individual, +and not concerned with +the welfare of any other person on +earth—just myself. I had taken +good care of myself physically and +I knew I was sound everywhere. I +wasn't sure how long I could keep +sound and continue drinking. So +I decided to stop drinking and keep +sound. I noticed that a good many +men of the same age as myself and +the same habits as myself were beginning<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span> +to show signs of wear and +tear. A number of them blew up +with various disconcerting maladies +and a number more died. Soon +after I was forty years of age I +noticed I began to go to funerals +oftener than I had been doing—funerals +of men between forty and +forty-five I had known socially and +convivially; that these funerals occurred +quite regularly, and that +the doctor's certificate, more times +than not, gave Bright's Disease and +other similar diseases in the cause-of-death +column. All of these funerals +were of men who were good +fellows, and we mourned their +loss. Also we generally took a few +drinks to their memories.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span></p> + +<p>Then came a time when this funeral +business landed on me like +a pile-driver. Inside of a year four +or five of the men I had known +best, the men I had loved best, the +men who had been my real friends +and my companions, died, one after +another. Also some other friends +developed physical derangements I +knew were directly traceable to too +much liquor. Both the deaths and +the derangements had liquor as +a contributing if not as a direct +cause. Nobody said that, of course; +but I knew it.</p> + +<p>So I held a caucus with myself. +I called myself into convention and +discussed the proposition somewhat +like this:<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span></p> + +<p>"You are now over forty years +of age. You are sound physically +and you are no weaker mentally +than you have always been, so far +as can be discovered by the outside +world. You have had a lot +of fun, much of it complicated with +the conviviality that comes with +drinking and much of it not so complicated; +but you have done your +share of plain and fancy drinking, +and it hasn't landed you yet. There +is absolutely no nutriment in being +dead. That gets you nothing save +a few obituary notices you will +never see. There is even less in +being sick and sidling around in +everybody's way. It's as sure as +sunset, if you keep on at your present<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span> +gait, that Mr. John Barleycorn +will land you just as he has landed +a lot of other people you know and +knew. There are two methods of +procedure open to you. One is to +keep it up and continue having the +fun you think you are having and +take what is inevitably coming to +you. The other is to quit it while +the quitting is good and live a few +more years—that may not be so +rosy, but probably will have compensations."</p> + +<p>I viewed it from every angle I +could think of. I knew what sort +of a job I had laid out to tackle if +I quit. I weighed the whole thing +in my mind in the light of my acquaintances, +my experiences, my<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span> +position, my mode of life, my business. +I had been through it many +times. I had often gone on the +waterwagon for periods varying +in length from three days to three +months. I wasn't venturing into +any uncharted territory. I knew +every signpost, every crossroad, +every foot of the ground. I knew +the difficulties—knew them by +heart. I wasn't deluding myself +with any assertions of superior +will-power or superior courage—or +superior anything. I knew I +had a fixed daily habit of drinking, +and that if I quit drinking I +should have to reorganize the entire +works.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_II" id="CHAPTER_II"></a>CHAPTER II<br /><br /> + +HOW I QUIT</h2> + + +<p>This took some time. I didn't +dash into it. I had done that +before, and had dashed out again +just as impetuously. I revolved +the matter in my mind for some +weeks. Then I decided to quit. +Then I did quit. Thereby hangs +this tale.</p> + +<p>I went to a dinner one night that +was a good dinner. It was a dinner +that had every appurtenance +that a good dinner should have, including +the best things to drink +that could be obtained, and lashings<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span> +of them. I proceeded at that +dinner just as I had proceeded at +scores of similar dinners in my time—hundreds +of them, I guess—and +took a drink every time anybody +else did. I was a seasoned drinker. +I knew how to do it. I went home +that night pleasantly jingled, but +no more. I slept well, ate a good +breakfast and went down to business. +On the way down I decided +that this was the day to make the +plunge. Having arrived at that +decision, I went out about three +o'clock that afternoon, drank a +Scotch highball—a big, man's-sized +one—as a doch-an-doris, and quit. +That was almost a year ago. I +haven't taken a drink since. It is<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span> +not my present intention ever to +take another drink; but I am not +tying myself down by any vows. +It is not my present intention, I +say; and I let it go at that.</p> + +<p>No man can be blamed for trying +to fool other people about himself—that +is the way most of us +get past; but what can be said for +a man who tries to fool himself? +Every man knows exactly how +bogus he is and should admit it—to +himself only. The man who, +knowing his bogusness, refuses to +admit it to himself—no matter +what his attitude may be to the +outside world—simply stores up +trouble for himself, and discomfort +and much else. There are many<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span> +phases of personal understanding +of oneself that need not be put in +the newspapers or proclaimed publicly. +Still, for a man to gold-brick +himself is a profitless undertaking, +but prevalent notwithstanding.</p> + +<p>When it comes to fooling oneself +by oneself, the grandest performers +are the boys who have a habit—no +matter what kind of a habit—a +habit! It may be smoking cigarettes, +or walking pigeontoed, or +talking through the nose, or drinking—or +anything else. Any man +can see with half an eye how drinking, +for example, is hurting Jones; +but he always argues that his own +personal drinking is of a different +variety and is doing him no harm.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span> +The best illustration of it is in the +old vaudeville story, where the man +came on the stage and said: "Smith +is drinking too much! I never go +into a saloon without finding him +there!"</p> + +<p>That is the reason drinking liquor +gets so many people—either by +wrecking their health or by fastening +on them the habit they cannot +stop. They fool themselves. They +are perfectly well aware that their +neighbors are drinking too much—but +not themselves. Far be it from +them not to have the will-power to +stop when it is time to stop. They +are smarter than their neighbors. +They know what they are doing. +And suddenly the explosions come!<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span></p> + +<p>There are hundreds of thousands +of men in all walks of life in this +country who for twenty or thirty +years have never lived a minute +when there was not more or less +alcohol in their systems, who cannot +be said to have been strictly +and entirely sober in all that time, +but who do their work, perform all +their social duties, make their careers +and are fairly successful just +the same.</p> + +<p>There has been more flub-dub +printed and spoken about drinking +liquor than about any other +employment, avocation, vocation, +habit, practice or pleasure of mankind. +Drinking liquor is a personal +proposition, and nothing else.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span> +It is individual in every human relation. +Still, you cannot make the +reformers see that. They want +other people to stop drinking because +they want other people to +stop. So they make laws that are +violated, and get pledges that are +broken and try to legislate or +preach or coax or scare away a +habit that must, in any successful +outcome, be stopped by the individual, +and not because of any law +or threat or terror or cajolery.</p> + +<p>This is the human-nature side of +it, but the professional reformers +know less about human nature, and +care less, than about any other +phase of life. Still, the fact remains +that with any habit, and especially<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span> +with the liquor habit—probably +because that is the most +prevalent habit there is—nine-tenths +of the subjects delude themselves +about how much of a habit +they have; and, second, that nine-tenths +of those with the habit have +a very clear idea of the extent to +which the habit is fastened on +others. They are fooled about +themselves, but never about their +neighbors! Wherefore the breweries +and the distilleries prosper +exceedingly.</p> + +<p>However, I am straying away +from my story, which has to do +with such drinking as the ordinary +man does—not sprees, nor debauches, +or orgies, or periodicals,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span> +or drunkenness, but just the ordinary +amount of drinking that happens +along in a man's life, with a +little too much on rare occasions +and plenty at all times. A German +I knew once told me the difference +between Old-World drinking and +American drinking was that the +German, for example, drinks for +the pleasure of the drink, while the +American drinks for the alcohol in +it. That may be so; but very few +men who have any sense or any +age set out deliberately to get +drunk. Such drunkenness as there +is among men of that sort usually +comes more by accident than by +design.</p> + +<p>My definition of a drunkard has<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span> +always been this: A man is a drunkard +when he drinks whisky or any +other liquor before breakfast. I +think that is pretty nearly right. +Personally I never took a drink of +liquor before breakfast in my life +and not many before noon. Usually +my drinking began in the afternoon +after business, and was likely to +end before dinnertime—not always, +but usually.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III"></a>CHAPTER III<br /><br /> + +WHAT I QUIT</h2> + + +<p>I had been drinking thus for +practically twenty years. I did +not drink at all until after I was +twenty-one and not much until +after I was twenty-five. When I +got to be thirty-two or thirty-three +and had gone along a little in the +world, I fell in with men of my own +station; and as I lived in a town +where nearly everybody drank, including +many of the successful +business and professional men—men +of affairs—I soon got into +their habits. Naturally gregarious,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span> +I found these men good company. +They were sociable and convivial, +and drank for the fun of it and the +fun that came out of it.</p> + +<p>My business took me to various +parts of the country and I made acquaintances +among men like these—the +real live ones in the communities. +They were good fellows. So +was I. The result was that in a +few years I had a list of friends +from California to Maine—all of +whom drank; and I was never at +a loss for company or highballs. +Then I moved to a city where there +isn't much of anything else to do +but drink at certain times in the +day, a city where men from all +parts of the country congregate<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span> +and where the social side of life is +highly accentuated. I kept along +with the procession. I did my work +satisfactorily to my employers and +I did my drinking satisfactorily to +myself.</p> + +<p>This continued for several years. +I had a fixed habit. I drank several +drinks each day. Sometimes +I drank more than several. My +system was organized to digest +about so much alcohol every +twenty-four hours. So far as I +could see, the drinking did me no +harm. I was well. My appetite +was good. I slept soundly. My +head was clear. My work proceeded +easily and was getting fair recognition. +Then some of the boys<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span> +began dropping off and some began +breaking down. I had occasional +mornings, after big dinners or specially +convivial affairs, when I did +not feel very well—when I was out +of tune and knew why. Still, I +continued as of old, and thought +nothing of it except as the regular +katzenjammer—to be expected.</p> + +<p>Presently I woke up to what was +happening round me. I looked the +game over critically. I analyzed it +coldly and calmly. I put every advantage +of my mode of life on one +side and every disadvantage; and +I put on the other side every disadvantage +of a change in procedure +and every advantage. There were +times when I thought the present<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span> +mode had by far the better of it, +and times when the change contemplated +outweighed the other +heavily.</p> + +<p>Here is the way it totted up +against quitting: Practically every +friend you have in the United +States—and you've got a lot of +them—drinks more or less. You +have not cultivated any other line +of associates. If you quit drinking, +you will necessarily have to +quit a lot of these friends, and quit +their parties and company—for a +man who doesn't drink is always a +death's-head at a feast or merrymaking +where drinking is going on. +Your social intercourse with these +people is predicated on taking an<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span> +occasional drink, in going to places +where drinks are served, both public +and at homes. The kind of +drinking you do makes greatly for +sociability, and you are a sociable +person and like to be round with +congenial people. You will miss a +lot of fun, a lot of good, clever companionship, +for you are too old to +form a new line of friends. Your +whole game is organized along +these lines. Why make a hermit +of yourself just because you think +drinking may harm you? Cut it +down. Take care of yourself. Don't +be such a fool as to try to change +your manner of living just when +you have an opportunity to live as<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span> +you should and enjoy what is coming +to you.</p> + +<p>This is the way it lined up for +quitting: So far, liquor hasn't done +anything to you except cause you +to waste some time that might have +been otherwise employed; but it +will get you, just as it has landed +a lot of your friends, if you stay +by it. Wouldn't it be better to +miss some of this stuff you have +come to think of as fun, and live +longer? There is no novelty in +drinking to you. You haven't an +appetite that cannot be checked, +but you will have if you stick to it +much longer. Why not quit and +take a chance at a new mode of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span> +living, especially when you know +absolutely that every health reason, +every future-prospect reason, +every atom of good sense in you, +tells you there is nothing to be +gained by keeping at it, and that +all may be lost?</p> + +<p>Well, I pondered over that a long +time. I had watched miserable +wretches who had struggled to stay +on the waterwagon—sometimes +with amusement. I knew what +they had to stand if they tried to +associate with their former companions; +I knew the apparent difficulties +and the disadvantages of +this new mode of life. On the other +hand, I was convinced that, so far +as I was concerned, without trying<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span> +to lay down a rule for any other +man, I would be an ass if I didn't +quit it immediately, while I was +well and all right, instead of waiting +until I had to quit on a doctor's +orders, or got to that stage when I +couldn't quit.</p> + +<p>It was no easy thing to make the +decision. It is hard to change the +habits and associations of twenty +years! I had a good understanding +of myself. I was no hero. I liked +the fun of it, the companionship of +it, better than any one. I like my +friends and, I hope and think, they +like me. It seemed to me that I +needed it in my business, for I was +always dealing with men who did +drink.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span></p> + +<p>I wrestled with it for some +weeks. I thought it all out, up +one side and down the other. Then +I quit. Also I stayed quit. And +believe me, ladies and gentlemen +and all others present, it was no +fool of a job.</p> + +<p>I have learned many things since +I went on the waterwagon for fair—many +things about my fellowmen +and many things about myself. +Most of these things radiate round +the innate hypocrisy of the human +being. All those that do not concern +his hypocrisy concern his lying—which, +I reckon, when you come +to stack them up together, amounts +to the same thing. I have learned +that I had been fooling myself and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span> +that others had been fooling me. +I gathered experience every day. +And some of the things I have +learned I shall set down.</p> + +<p>You have all known the man who +says he quit drinking and never +thought of drink again. He is a +liar. He doesn't exist. No man in +this world who had a daily habit +of drinking ever quit and never +thought of drinking again. Many +men, because they habitually lie to +themselves, think they have done +this; but they haven't. The fact +is, no man with a daily habit of +drinking ever quit and thought of +anything else than how good a +drink would taste and feel for a +time after he quit. He couldn't and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span> +he didn't. I don't care what any of +them say. I know.</p> + +<p>Further, the man who tells you +he never takes a drink until five +o'clock in the afternoon, or three +o'clock in the afternoon, or only +drinks with his meals, or only +takes two or three drinks a day, +usually is a liar, too—not always, +but usually. There are some machine-like, +non-imaginative persons +who can do this—drink by rote or +by rule; but not many. Now I do +not say many men do not think +they drink this way, but most of +these men are simply fooling themselves.</p> + +<p>Again, this proposition of cutting +down drinks to two or three<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span> +a day is all rot. Of what use to +any person are two or three drinks +a day? I mean to any person who +drinks for the fun of it, as I did +and as most of my friends do yet. +What kind of a human being is he +who comes into a club and takes +one cocktail and no more?—or one +highball? He's worse, from any +view-point of sociability, than a +man who drinks a glass of water. +At least the man who drinks the +water isn't fooling himself or trying +to be part one thing and part +another. The way to quit drinking +is to quit drinking. That is all there +is to that. This paltering along +with two or three drinks a day is +mere cowardice. It is neither one<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span> +thing nor the other. And I am here +to say, also, that nine out of every +ten men who say they only take +two or three drinks a day are liars, +just the same as the men who say +they quit and never think of it +again. They may not think they +are liars, or intend to be liars; but +they are liars just the same.</p> + +<p>Well, as I may have intimated, I +quit drinking. I drank that last, +lingering Scotch highball—and +quit! I decided the no-liquor end +of it was the better end, and I took +that end.</p> + + + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span></p><hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IV" id="CHAPTER_IV"></a>CHAPTER IV<br /><br /> + +WHEN I QUIT</h2> + + +<p>For purposes of comprehensive +record I have divided the various +stages of my waterwagoning +into these parts: the obsession +stage; the caramel stage; the pharisaical +stage, and the safe-and-sane +stage. I drank my Scotch highball +and went over to the club. The +crowd was there; I sat down at a +table and when somebody asked me +what I'd have I took a glass of +water. Several of my friends looked +inquiringly at me and one asked: +"On the wagon?" This attracted<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span> +the attention of the entire group +to my glass of water. I came in for +a good deal of banter, mostly along +the line that it was time I went on +the wagon. This was varied with +predictions that I would stay on +from an hour to a day or so. I +didn't like that talk, but I bluffed +it out—weakly, to be sure. I said +I had decided it wouldn't do me any +harm to cool out a bit.</p> + +<p>Next day, along about first-drink +time, I felt a craving for a highball. +I didn't take it. That evening I +went over to the club again. The +crowd was there. I was asked to +have a drink. This time I rather +defiantly ordered a glass of water. +The same jests were made, but I<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span> +drank my water. On the third day +I was a bit shaky—sort of nervous. +I didn't feel like work. I couldn't +concentrate my mind on anything. +I kept thinking of various kinds of +drinks and how good they would +taste. I tried out the club. I may +have imagined it, but I thought my +old friends lacked interest in my +advent at the table. One of them +said: "Oh, for Heaven's sake, take +a drink! You've got a terrible +grouch on." I backed out.</p> + +<p>I did have a grouch. I was sore +at everybody in the world. Also, +I kept thinking how much I would +like to have a drink. That was natural. +I had accustomed my system +to digest a certain amount of alcohol<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span> +every day. I wasn't supplying +that alcohol. My system needed it +and howled for it. I knew a man +who had been a drunkard but who +had quit and who hadn't taken a +drink for twelve years. I discussed +the problem with him. He told me +an eminent specialist had told him +it takes eighteen months for a man +who has been a heavy drinker or +a steady drinker to get all the alcohol +out of his system. I hadn't been +a heavy drinker, but I had been a +steady drinker; and that information +gave me a cold chill. I thought +if I were to have this craving for +a drink every day for eighteen +months, surely I had let myself in +for a lovely task!<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span></p> + +<p>I stuck for a week—for two +weeks—for three weeks. At the +end of that time my friends had +grown accustomed to this idiosyncrasy +and were making bets on how +long I would last. I didn't go +round where they were much. I +was as lonesome as a stray dog in +a strange alley. I had carefully +cultivated a large line of drinking +acquaintances and I hardly knew a +congenial person who didn't drink. +That was the hardest part of the +game. I wasn't fit company for +man or beast. I don't blame my +friends—not a bit. I was cross and +ugly and hypercritical and generally +nasty, and they passed me up. +However, the craving for liquor<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span> +decreased to some degree. There +were some periods in the day when +I didn't think how good a drink +would taste, and did devote myself +to my work.</p> + +<p>I discovered a few things. One +was that, no matter how much fun +I missed in the evening, I didn't +get up with a taste in my mouth. +I had no katzenjammers. After a +week or so I went to sleep easily +and slept like a child. Then the +caramel stage arrived. I acquired +a sudden craving for candy. I +had not eaten any candy for +years, for men who drink regularly +rarely take sweets. One day +I looked in a confectioner's window +and was irresistibly attracted<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span> +by a box of caramels. I went in +and bought it, and ate half a +dozen. They seemed to fill a long-felt +want. The sugar in them supplied +the stimulant that was lacking, +I suppose. Anyhow, they tasted +right good and were satisfactory; +and I kept a box of caramels +on my desk for several weeks and +ate a few each day. Also I began +to yell for ice cream and pie and +other sweets with my meals.</p> + +<p>Along about this time I developed +the pharisaical stage. I looked +with a great pity on my friends who +persisted in drinking. I assumed +some little airs of superiority and +congratulated myself on my great +will-power that had enabled me to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span> +quit drinking. They were steadily +drinking themselves to death. I +could see that plainly. There was +nothing else to it. I was a fine sample +of a full-blown prig. I went so +far as to explain the case to one or +two, and I got hooted at for my +pains; so I lapsed into my condition +of immense superiority and +said: "Oh, well, if they won't take +advice from me, who knows, let +them go along. Poor chaps, I am +afraid they are lost!"</p> + +<p>It's a wonder somebody didn't +take an ax to me. I deserved it. +After lamenting—to myself—the +sad fates of my former companions +and pluming myself on my noble +course, I woke up one day and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span> +kicked myself round the park. +"Here!" I said. "You chump, +what business have you got putting +on airs about your non-drinking +and parading yourself round +here as a giant example of self-restraint? +Where do you get off +as a preacher—or a censor, or a reformer—in +this matter? Who appointed +you as the apostle of non-drinking? +Take a tumble to yourself +and close up!"</p> + +<p>That was the beginning of the +safe-and-sane stage, which still persists. +It came about the end of the +second month. I had lost all desire +for liquor; and, though there were +times when I missed the sociability +of drinking fearfully, I was as<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span> +steady as a rock in my policy of +abstaining from drinks of all kinds. +Now it doesn't bother me at all. I +am riding jauntily on the wagon, +without a chance of falling off.</p> + +<p>At the time I decided it was up +to me to stop this pharisaical foolishness, +I took a new view of +things; decided I wasn't so much, +after all; ceased reprobating my +friends who wanted to drink; had +no advice to offer, and stopped +pointing to myself as a heroic +young person who had accomplished +a gigantic task.</p> + +<p>Friends had tolerated me. I wondered +that they had, for I was a sad +affair. Surely it was up to me to be +as tolerant as they had been, notwithstanding<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span> +my new mode of life. +So I stopped foreboding and tried +to accustom my friends to my company +on a strictly water basis. The +attempt was not entirely successful. +I dropped out of a good many +gatherings where formerly I should +have been one of the bright and +shining lights. There are no two +ways about it—a man cannot drink +water in a company where others +are drinking highballs and get into +the game with any effectiveness. +Any person who quits drinking +may as well accept that as a fact; +and most persons will stop trying +after a time and seek new diversions; +or begin drinking again.</p> + + + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span></p><hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_V" id="CHAPTER_V"></a>CHAPTER V<br /><br /> + +AFTER I QUIT</h2> + + +<p>I had a good lively tilt with John +Barleycorn, ranging over twenty +years. I know all about drinking. +I figured it this way: I have +about fifteen more good, productive +years in me. After that I shall lose +in efficiency, even if I keep my +health. Being selfish and perhaps +getting sensible, I desire the remaining +productive years of my +life to be years of the greatest +efficiency. Looking back over my +drinking years, I saw, if I was to +attain and keep that greatest efficiency,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span> +that was my job, and that +it could not be complicated with +any booze-fighting whatsoever.</p> + +<p>I decided that what I might lose +in the companionship and social +end of it I would gain in my own +personal increase in horsepower; +for I knew that though drinking +may have done me no harm, it certainly +did me no good, and that, if +persisted in, it surely would do me +harm in some way or other.</p> + +<p>Sizing it up, one side against the +other, I conclude that it is better +for me not to drink. I find I have +much more time that I can devote +to my business; that I think more +clearly, feel better, do not make +any loose statements under the exhilaration<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span> +of alcohol, and keep my +mind on my number constantly. +The item of time is the surprising +item. It is astonishing how much +time you have to do things in that +formerly you used to drink in, with +the accompaniment of all the piffle +that goes with drinking! When +you are drinking you are never too +busy to take a drink and never too +busy not to stop. You are busy all +the time—but get nowhere. Work +is the curse of the drinking classes.</p> + +<p>Any man who has been accustomed +to do the kind of drinking +I did for twenty years, who likes +the sociability and the companionship +of it, will find that the sudden +transition to a non-drinking life<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span> +will leave him with a pretty dull +existence on his hands until he gets +reorganized. This is the depressing +part of it. You have nowhere +to go and nothing to do. Still, +though you may miss the fun of +the evening, you have all your +drinking friends lashed to the mast +in the morning.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + +<div class="center"> +<div class="bbox"> +<h3><i>By the Same Author</i></h3> +<hr style="width: 25%;" /> + +<h2>THE FUN<br /> +OF GETTING THIN</h2> + +<p>Another delightful book by Mr. +Blythe, in which he discusses surplus +avoirdupois. It tells fat people how +to get thin, and thin people will +get fat laughing over its delicious +humor.</p> + +<p class="center"><b>Some extracts from the book</b></p> + +<p>"A fat man is a joke; and a fat +woman is two jokes—one on herself and +the other on her husband."</p> + +<p>"Half the comedy in the world is predicated +on the paunch."</p> + +<p>"Fat, the doctors say, is fatal. I +move to amend by striking out the last +two letters of the indictment. Fat is +fat."</p> + +<p class="center"><b>Attractively bound. Price, 35c</b></p> + +<p class="center"><i>For sale wherever books are sold or supplied +by the publishers</i></p> + +<p class="center"><big>FORBES & COMPANY,<br /> +CHICAGO</big></p> +</div></div> + + + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Cutting It out, by Samuel G. Blythe + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CUTTING IT OUT *** + +***** This file should be named 28576-h.htm or 28576-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/8/5/7/28576/ + +Produced by Diane Monico and The Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Blythe + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Cutting It out + How to get on the waterwagon and stay there + +Author: Samuel G. Blythe + +Release Date: April 22, 2009 [EBook #28576] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CUTTING IT OUT *** + + + + +Produced by Diane Monico and The Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + + + + + + +CUTTING IT OUT + + + + +_In Press_ + + +_By the Same Author_ + +THE FUN OF GETTING THIN + + + + +CUTTING IT OUT + +HOW TO GET ON THE WATERWAGON +AND STAY THERE + + +BY +SAMUEL G. BLYTHE + + +[Illustration: (publisher's symbol)] + +CHICAGO +FORBES & COMPANY +1912 + + + + +COPYRIGHT, 1911, BY +THE CURTIS PUBLISHING CO. + +COPYRIGHT, 1912, BY +FORBES AND COMPANY + + + + +CONTENTS + + +CHAPTER PAGE + + I. Why I Quit 9 + + II. How I Quit 21 + +III. What I Quit 31 + + IV. When I Quit 45 + + V. After I Quit 57 + + + + +PUBLISHER'S NOTE + + +This work originally appeared in _The Saturday Evening Post_ under the +title "On the Water-Wagon." + + + + +CUTTING IT OUT + + + + +CHAPTER I + +WHY I QUIT + + +First off, let me state the object of the meeting: This is to be a +record of sundry experiences centering round a stern resolve to get on +the waterwagon and a sterner attempt to stay there. It is an entirely +personal narrative of a strictly personal set of circumstances. It is +not a temperance lecture, or a temperance tract, or a chunk of advice, +or a shuddering recital of the woes of a horrible example, or a +warning, or an admonition--or anything at all but a plain tale of an +adventure that started out rather vaguely and wound up rather +satisfactorily. + +I am no brand that was snatched from the burning; no sot who picked +himself or was picked from the gutter; no drunkard who almost wrecked a +promising career; no constitutional or congenital souse. I drank liquor +the same way hundreds of thousands of men drink it--drank liquor and +attended to my business, and got along well, and kept my health, and +provided for my family, and maintained my position in the community. I +felt I had a perfect right to drink liquor just as I had a perfect +right to stop drinking it. I never considered my drinking in any way +immoral. + +I was decent, respectable, a gentleman, who drank only with gentlemen +and as a gentleman should drink if he pleases. I didn't care whether +any one else drank--and do not now. I didn't care whether any one else +cared whether I drank--and do not now. I am no reformer, no lecturer, +no preacher. I quit because I wanted to, not because I had to. I didn't +swear off, nor take any vow, nor sign any pledge. I am no moral censor. +It is even possible that I might go out this afternoon and take a +drink. I am quite sure I shall not--but I might. As far as my trip +into Teetotal Land is concerned, it is an individual proposition and +nothing else. I am no example for other men who drink as much as I did, +or more, or less--but I assume my experiences are somewhat typical, for +I am sure my drinking was very typical; and a recital of those +experiences and the conclusions thereon is what is before the house. + +I quit drinking because I quit drinking. I had a very fair batting +average in the Booze League--as good as I thought necessary; and I knew +if I stopped when my record was good the situation would be +satisfactory to me, whether it was to any other person or not. +Moreover, I figured it out that the time to stop drinking was when it +wasn't necessary to stop--not when it was necessary. I had been +observing during the twenty years I had been drinking, more or less, +and I had known a good many men who stopped drinking when the doctors +told them to. Furthermore, it had been my observation that when a +doctor tells a man to stop drinking it usually doesn't make much +difference whether he stops or not. In a good many cases he might just +as well keep on and die happily, for he's going to die anyhow; and the +few months he will grab through his abstinence will not amount to +anything when the miseries of that abstinence are duly chalked up in +the debit column. + +Therefore, applying the cold, hard logic of the situation to it, I +decided to beat the liquor to it. + +That was the reason for stopping--purely selfish, personal, individual, +and not concerned with the welfare of any other person on earth--just +myself. I had taken good care of myself physically and I knew I was +sound everywhere. I wasn't sure how long I could keep sound and +continue drinking. So I decided to stop drinking and keep sound. I +noticed that a good many men of the same age as myself and the same +habits as myself were beginning to show signs of wear and tear. A +number of them blew up with various disconcerting maladies and a number +more died. Soon after I was forty years of age I noticed I began to go +to funerals oftener than I had been doing--funerals of men between +forty and forty-five I had known socially and convivially; that these +funerals occurred quite regularly, and that the doctor's certificate, +more times than not, gave Bright's Disease and other similar diseases +in the cause-of-death column. All of these funerals were of men who +were good fellows, and we mourned their loss. Also we generally took a +few drinks to their memories. + +Then came a time when this funeral business landed on me like a +pile-driver. Inside of a year four or five of the men I had known best, +the men I had loved best, the men who had been my real friends and my +companions, died, one after another. Also some other friends developed +physical derangements I knew were directly traceable to too much +liquor. Both the deaths and the derangements had liquor as a +contributing if not as a direct cause. Nobody said that, of course; but +I knew it. + +So I held a caucus with myself. I called myself into convention and +discussed the proposition somewhat like this: + +"You are now over forty years of age. You are sound physically and you +are no weaker mentally than you have always been, so far as can be +discovered by the outside world. You have had a lot of fun, much of it +complicated with the conviviality that comes with drinking and much of +it not so complicated; but you have done your share of plain and fancy +drinking, and it hasn't landed you yet. There is absolutely no +nutriment in being dead. That gets you nothing save a few obituary +notices you will never see. There is even less in being sick and +sidling around in everybody's way. It's as sure as sunset, if you keep +on at your present gait, that Mr. John Barleycorn will land you just +as he has landed a lot of other people you know and knew. There are two +methods of procedure open to you. One is to keep it up and continue +having the fun you think you are having and take what is inevitably +coming to you. The other is to quit it while the quitting is good and +live a few more years--that may not be so rosy, but probably will have +compensations." + +I viewed it from every angle I could think of. I knew what sort of a +job I had laid out to tackle if I quit. I weighed the whole thing in my +mind in the light of my acquaintances, my experiences, my position, my +mode of life, my business. I had been through it many times. I had +often gone on the waterwagon for periods varying in length from three +days to three months. I wasn't venturing into any uncharted territory. +I knew every signpost, every crossroad, every foot of the ground. I +knew the difficulties--knew them by heart. I wasn't deluding myself +with any assertions of superior will-power or superior courage--or +superior anything. I knew I had a fixed daily habit of drinking, and +that if I quit drinking I should have to reorganize the entire works. + + + + +CHAPTER II + +HOW I QUIT + + +This took some time. I didn't dash into it. I had done that before, and +had dashed out again just as impetuously. I revolved the matter in my +mind for some weeks. Then I decided to quit. Then I did quit. Thereby +hangs this tale. + +I went to a dinner one night that was a good dinner. It was a dinner +that had every appurtenance that a good dinner should have, including +the best things to drink that could be obtained, and lashings of them. +I proceeded at that dinner just as I had proceeded at scores of similar +dinners in my time--hundreds of them, I guess--and took a drink every +time anybody else did. I was a seasoned drinker. I knew how to do it. I +went home that night pleasantly jingled, but no more. I slept well, ate +a good breakfast and went down to business. On the way down I decided +that this was the day to make the plunge. Having arrived at that +decision, I went out about three o'clock that afternoon, drank a Scotch +highball--a big, man's-sized one--as a doch-an-doris, and quit. That +was almost a year ago. I haven't taken a drink since. It is not my +present intention ever to take another drink; but I am not tying myself +down by any vows. It is not my present intention, I say; and I let it +go at that. + +No man can be blamed for trying to fool other people about +himself--that is the way most of us get past; but what can be said for +a man who tries to fool himself? Every man knows exactly how bogus he +is and should admit it--to himself only. The man who, knowing his +bogusness, refuses to admit it to himself--no matter what his attitude +may be to the outside world--simply stores up trouble for himself, and +discomfort and much else. There are many phases of personal +understanding of oneself that need not be put in the newspapers or +proclaimed publicly. Still, for a man to gold-brick himself is a +profitless undertaking, but prevalent notwithstanding. + +When it comes to fooling oneself by oneself, the grandest performers +are the boys who have a habit--no matter what kind of a habit--a habit! +It may be smoking cigarettes, or walking pigeontoed, or talking through +the nose, or drinking--or anything else. Any man can see with half an +eye how drinking, for example, is hurting Jones; but he always argues +that his own personal drinking is of a different variety and is doing +him no harm. The best illustration of it is in the old vaudeville +story, where the man came on the stage and said: "Smith is drinking too +much! I never go into a saloon without finding him there!" + +That is the reason drinking liquor gets so many people--either by +wrecking their health or by fastening on them the habit they cannot +stop. They fool themselves. They are perfectly well aware that their +neighbors are drinking too much--but not themselves. Far be it from +them not to have the will-power to stop when it is time to stop. They +are smarter than their neighbors. They know what they are doing. And +suddenly the explosions come! + +There are hundreds of thousands of men in all walks of life in this +country who for twenty or thirty years have never lived a minute when +there was not more or less alcohol in their systems, who cannot be said +to have been strictly and entirely sober in all that time, but who do +their work, perform all their social duties, make their careers and are +fairly successful just the same. + +There has been more flub-dub printed and spoken about drinking liquor +than about any other employment, avocation, vocation, habit, practice +or pleasure of mankind. Drinking liquor is a personal proposition, and +nothing else. It is individual in every human relation. Still, you +cannot make the reformers see that. They want other people to stop +drinking because they want other people to stop. So they make laws that +are violated, and get pledges that are broken and try to legislate or +preach or coax or scare away a habit that must, in any successful +outcome, be stopped by the individual, and not because of any law or +threat or terror or cajolery. + +This is the human-nature side of it, but the professional reformers +know less about human nature, and care less, than about any other phase +of life. Still, the fact remains that with any habit, and especially +with the liquor habit--probably because that is the most prevalent +habit there is--nine-tenths of the subjects delude themselves about how +much of a habit they have; and, second, that nine-tenths of those with +the habit have a very clear idea of the extent to which the habit is +fastened on others. They are fooled about themselves, but never about +their neighbors! Wherefore the breweries and the distilleries prosper +exceedingly. + +However, I am straying away from my story, which has to do with such +drinking as the ordinary man does--not sprees, nor debauches, or +orgies, or periodicals, or drunkenness, but just the ordinary amount +of drinking that happens along in a man's life, with a little too much +on rare occasions and plenty at all times. A German I knew once told me +the difference between Old-World drinking and American drinking was +that the German, for example, drinks for the pleasure of the drink, +while the American drinks for the alcohol in it. That may be so; but +very few men who have any sense or any age set out deliberately to get +drunk. Such drunkenness as there is among men of that sort usually +comes more by accident than by design. + +My definition of a drunkard has always been this: A man is a drunkard +when he drinks whisky or any other liquor before breakfast. I think +that is pretty nearly right. Personally I never took a drink of liquor +before breakfast in my life and not many before noon. Usually my +drinking began in the afternoon after business, and was likely to end +before dinnertime--not always, but usually. + + + + +CHAPTER III + +WHAT I QUIT + + +I had been drinking thus for practically twenty years. I did not drink +at all until after I was twenty-one and not much until after I was +twenty-five. When I got to be thirty-two or thirty-three and had gone +along a little in the world, I fell in with men of my own station; and +as I lived in a town where nearly everybody drank, including many of +the successful business and professional men--men of affairs--I soon +got into their habits. Naturally gregarious, I found these men good +company. They were sociable and convivial, and drank for the fun of it +and the fun that came out of it. + +My business took me to various parts of the country and I made +acquaintances among men like these--the real live ones in the +communities. They were good fellows. So was I. The result was that in a +few years I had a list of friends from California to Maine--all of whom +drank; and I was never at a loss for company or highballs. Then I moved +to a city where there isn't much of anything else to do but drink at +certain times in the day, a city where men from all parts of the +country congregate and where the social side of life is highly +accentuated. I kept along with the procession. I did my work +satisfactorily to my employers and I did my drinking satisfactorily to +myself. + +This continued for several years. I had a fixed habit. I drank several +drinks each day. Sometimes I drank more than several. My system was +organized to digest about so much alcohol every twenty-four hours. So +far as I could see, the drinking did me no harm. I was well. My +appetite was good. I slept soundly. My head was clear. My work +proceeded easily and was getting fair recognition. Then some of the +boys began dropping off and some began breaking down. I had occasional +mornings, after big dinners or specially convivial affairs, when I did +not feel very well--when I was out of tune and knew why. Still, I +continued as of old, and thought nothing of it except as the regular +katzenjammer--to be expected. + +Presently I woke up to what was happening round me. I looked the game +over critically. I analyzed it coldly and calmly. I put every advantage +of my mode of life on one side and every disadvantage; and I put on the +other side every disadvantage of a change in procedure and every +advantage. There were times when I thought the present mode had by far +the better of it, and times when the change contemplated outweighed the +other heavily. + +Here is the way it totted up against quitting: Practically every friend +you have in the United States--and you've got a lot of them--drinks +more or less. You have not cultivated any other line of associates. If +you quit drinking, you will necessarily have to quit a lot of these +friends, and quit their parties and company--for a man who doesn't +drink is always a death's-head at a feast or merrymaking where drinking +is going on. Your social intercourse with these people is predicated on +taking an occasional drink, in going to places where drinks are +served, both public and at homes. The kind of drinking you do makes +greatly for sociability, and you are a sociable person and like to be +round with congenial people. You will miss a lot of fun, a lot of good, +clever companionship, for you are too old to form a new line of +friends. Your whole game is organized along these lines. Why make a +hermit of yourself just because you think drinking may harm you? Cut it +down. Take care of yourself. Don't be such a fool as to try to change +your manner of living just when you have an opportunity to live as you +should and enjoy what is coming to you. + +This is the way it lined up for quitting: So far, liquor hasn't done +anything to you except cause you to waste some time that might have +been otherwise employed; but it will get you, just as it has landed a +lot of your friends, if you stay by it. Wouldn't it be better to miss +some of this stuff you have come to think of as fun, and live longer? +There is no novelty in drinking to you. You haven't an appetite that +cannot be checked, but you will have if you stick to it much longer. +Why not quit and take a chance at a new mode of living, especially +when you know absolutely that every health reason, every +future-prospect reason, every atom of good sense in you, tells you +there is nothing to be gained by keeping at it, and that all may be +lost? + +Well, I pondered over that a long time. I had watched miserable +wretches who had struggled to stay on the waterwagon--sometimes with +amusement. I knew what they had to stand if they tried to associate +with their former companions; I knew the apparent difficulties and the +disadvantages of this new mode of life. On the other hand, I was +convinced that, so far as I was concerned, without trying to lay down +a rule for any other man, I would be an ass if I didn't quit it +immediately, while I was well and all right, instead of waiting until I +had to quit on a doctor's orders, or got to that stage when I couldn't +quit. + +It was no easy thing to make the decision. It is hard to change the +habits and associations of twenty years! I had a good understanding of +myself. I was no hero. I liked the fun of it, the companionship of it, +better than any one. I like my friends and, I hope and think, they like +me. It seemed to me that I needed it in my business, for I was always +dealing with men who did drink. + +I wrestled with it for some weeks. I thought it all out, up one side +and down the other. Then I quit. Also I stayed quit. And believe me, +ladies and gentlemen and all others present, it was no fool of a job. + +I have learned many things since I went on the waterwagon for +fair--many things about my fellowmen and many things about myself. Most +of these things radiate round the innate hypocrisy of the human being. +All those that do not concern his hypocrisy concern his lying--which, I +reckon, when you come to stack them up together, amounts to the same +thing. I have learned that I had been fooling myself and that others +had been fooling me. I gathered experience every day. And some of the +things I have learned I shall set down. + +You have all known the man who says he quit drinking and never thought +of drink again. He is a liar. He doesn't exist. No man in this world +who had a daily habit of drinking ever quit and never thought of +drinking again. Many men, because they habitually lie to themselves, +think they have done this; but they haven't. The fact is, no man with a +daily habit of drinking ever quit and thought of anything else than how +good a drink would taste and feel for a time after he quit. He couldn't +and he didn't. I don't care what any of them say. I know. + +Further, the man who tells you he never takes a drink until five +o'clock in the afternoon, or three o'clock in the afternoon, or only +drinks with his meals, or only takes two or three drinks a day, usually +is a liar, too--not always, but usually. There are some machine-like, +non-imaginative persons who can do this--drink by rote or by rule; but +not many. Now I do not say many men do not think they drink this way, +but most of these men are simply fooling themselves. + +Again, this proposition of cutting down drinks to two or three a day +is all rot. Of what use to any person are two or three drinks a day? I +mean to any person who drinks for the fun of it, as I did and as most +of my friends do yet. What kind of a human being is he who comes into a +club and takes one cocktail and no more?--or one highball? He's worse, +from any view-point of sociability, than a man who drinks a glass of +water. At least the man who drinks the water isn't fooling himself or +trying to be part one thing and part another. The way to quit drinking +is to quit drinking. That is all there is to that. This paltering along +with two or three drinks a day is mere cowardice. It is neither one +thing nor the other. And I am here to say, also, that nine out of every +ten men who say they only take two or three drinks a day are liars, +just the same as the men who say they quit and never think of it again. +They may not think they are liars, or intend to be liars; but they are +liars just the same. + +Well, as I may have intimated, I quit drinking. I drank that last, +lingering Scotch highball--and quit! I decided the no-liquor end of it +was the better end, and I took that end. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +WHEN I QUIT + + +For purposes of comprehensive record I have divided the various stages +of my waterwagoning into these parts: the obsession stage; the caramel +stage; the pharisaical stage, and the safe-and-sane stage. I drank my +Scotch highball and went over to the club. The crowd was there; I sat +down at a table and when somebody asked me what I'd have I took a glass +of water. Several of my friends looked inquiringly at me and one asked: +"On the wagon?" This attracted the attention of the entire group to my +glass of water. I came in for a good deal of banter, mostly along the +line that it was time I went on the wagon. This was varied with +predictions that I would stay on from an hour to a day or so. I didn't +like that talk, but I bluffed it out--weakly, to be sure. I said I had +decided it wouldn't do me any harm to cool out a bit. + +Next day, along about first-drink time, I felt a craving for a +highball. I didn't take it. That evening I went over to the club again. +The crowd was there. I was asked to have a drink. This time I rather +defiantly ordered a glass of water. The same jests were made, but I +drank my water. On the third day I was a bit shaky--sort of nervous. I +didn't feel like work. I couldn't concentrate my mind on anything. I +kept thinking of various kinds of drinks and how good they would taste. +I tried out the club. I may have imagined it, but I thought my old +friends lacked interest in my advent at the table. One of them said: +"Oh, for Heaven's sake, take a drink! You've got a terrible grouch on." +I backed out. + +I did have a grouch. I was sore at everybody in the world. Also, I kept +thinking how much I would like to have a drink. That was natural. I had +accustomed my system to digest a certain amount of alcohol every day. +I wasn't supplying that alcohol. My system needed it and howled for it. +I knew a man who had been a drunkard but who had quit and who hadn't +taken a drink for twelve years. I discussed the problem with him. He +told me an eminent specialist had told him it takes eighteen months for +a man who has been a heavy drinker or a steady drinker to get all the +alcohol out of his system. I hadn't been a heavy drinker, but I had +been a steady drinker; and that information gave me a cold chill. I +thought if I were to have this craving for a drink every day for +eighteen months, surely I had let myself in for a lovely task! + +I stuck for a week--for two weeks--for three weeks. At the end of that +time my friends had grown accustomed to this idiosyncrasy and were +making bets on how long I would last. I didn't go round where they were +much. I was as lonesome as a stray dog in a strange alley. I had +carefully cultivated a large line of drinking acquaintances and I +hardly knew a congenial person who didn't drink. That was the hardest +part of the game. I wasn't fit company for man or beast. I don't blame +my friends--not a bit. I was cross and ugly and hypercritical and +generally nasty, and they passed me up. However, the craving for +liquor decreased to some degree. There were some periods in the day +when I didn't think how good a drink would taste, and did devote myself +to my work. + +I discovered a few things. One was that, no matter how much fun I +missed in the evening, I didn't get up with a taste in my mouth. I had +no katzenjammers. After a week or so I went to sleep easily and slept +like a child. Then the caramel stage arrived. I acquired a sudden +craving for candy. I had not eaten any candy for years, for men who +drink regularly rarely take sweets. One day I looked in a +confectioner's window and was irresistibly attracted by a box of +caramels. I went in and bought it, and ate half a dozen. They seemed to +fill a long-felt want. The sugar in them supplied the stimulant that +was lacking, I suppose. Anyhow, they tasted right good and were +satisfactory; and I kept a box of caramels on my desk for several weeks +and ate a few each day. Also I began to yell for ice cream and pie and +other sweets with my meals. + +Along about this time I developed the pharisaical stage. I looked with +a great pity on my friends who persisted in drinking. I assumed some +little airs of superiority and congratulated myself on my great +will-power that had enabled me to quit drinking. They were steadily +drinking themselves to death. I could see that plainly. There was +nothing else to it. I was a fine sample of a full-blown prig. I went so +far as to explain the case to one or two, and I got hooted at for my +pains; so I lapsed into my condition of immense superiority and said: +"Oh, well, if they won't take advice from me, who knows, let them go +along. Poor chaps, I am afraid they are lost!" + +It's a wonder somebody didn't take an ax to me. I deserved it. After +lamenting--to myself--the sad fates of my former companions and pluming +myself on my noble course, I woke up one day and kicked myself round +the park. "Here!" I said. "You chump, what business have you got +putting on airs about your non-drinking and parading yourself round +here as a giant example of self-restraint? Where do you get off as a +preacher--or a censor, or a reformer--in this matter? Who appointed you +as the apostle of non-drinking? Take a tumble to yourself and close +up!" + +That was the beginning of the safe-and-sane stage, which still +persists. It came about the end of the second month. I had lost all +desire for liquor; and, though there were times when I missed the +sociability of drinking fearfully, I was as steady as a rock in my +policy of abstaining from drinks of all kinds. Now it doesn't bother me +at all. I am riding jauntily on the wagon, without a chance of falling +off. + +At the time I decided it was up to me to stop this pharisaical +foolishness, I took a new view of things; decided I wasn't so much, +after all; ceased reprobating my friends who wanted to drink; had no +advice to offer, and stopped pointing to myself as a heroic young +person who had accomplished a gigantic task. + +Friends had tolerated me. I wondered that they had, for I was a sad +affair. Surely it was up to me to be as tolerant as they had been, +notwithstanding my new mode of life. So I stopped foreboding and tried +to accustom my friends to my company on a strictly water basis. The +attempt was not entirely successful. I dropped out of a good many +gatherings where formerly I should have been one of the bright and +shining lights. There are no two ways about it--a man cannot drink +water in a company where others are drinking highballs and get into the +game with any effectiveness. Any person who quits drinking may as well +accept that as a fact; and most persons will stop trying after a time +and seek new diversions; or begin drinking again. + + + + +CHAPTER V + +AFTER I QUIT + + +I had a good lively tilt with John Barleycorn, ranging over twenty +years. I know all about drinking. I figured it this way: I have about +fifteen more good, productive years in me. After that I shall lose in +efficiency, even if I keep my health. Being selfish and perhaps getting +sensible, I desire the remaining productive years of my life to be +years of the greatest efficiency. Looking back over my drinking years, +I saw, if I was to attain and keep that greatest efficiency, that was +my job, and that it could not be complicated with any booze-fighting +whatsoever. + +I decided that what I might lose in the companionship and social end of +it I would gain in my own personal increase in horsepower; for I knew +that though drinking may have done me no harm, it certainly did me no +good, and that, if persisted in, it surely would do me harm in some way +or other. + +Sizing it up, one side against the other, I conclude that it is better +for me not to drink. I find I have much more time that I can devote to +my business; that I think more clearly, feel better, do not make any +loose statements under the exhilaration of alcohol, and keep my mind +on my number constantly. The item of time is the surprising item. It is +astonishing how much time you have to do things in that formerly you +used to drink in, with the accompaniment of all the piffle that goes +with drinking! When you are drinking you are never too busy to take a +drink and never too busy not to stop. You are busy all the time--but +get nowhere. Work is the curse of the drinking classes. + +Any man who has been accustomed to do the kind of drinking I did for +twenty years, who likes the sociability and the companionship of it, +will find that the sudden transition to a non-drinking life will leave +him with a pretty dull existence on his hands until he gets +reorganized. This is the depressing part of it. You have nowhere to go +and nothing to do. Still, though you may miss the fun of the evening, +you have all your drinking friends lashed to the mast in the morning. + + + + +_By the Same Author_ + +THE FUN OF GETTING THIN + +Another delightful book by Mr. Blythe, in which he discusses surplus +avoirdupois. It tells fat people how to get thin, and thin people will +get fat laughing over its delicious humor. + +Some extracts from the book + + "A fat man is a joke; and a fat woman is two jokes--one on + herself and the other on her husband." + + "Half the comedy in the world is predicated on the paunch." + + "Fat, the doctors say, is fatal. I move to amend by striking + out the last two letters of the indictment. Fat is fat." + +Attractively bound. Price, 35c + +_For sale wherever books are sold or supplied by the publishers_ + +FORBES & COMPANY, +CHICAGO + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Cutting It out, by Samuel G. 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