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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/29274-8.txt b/29274-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..40afb45 --- /dev/null +++ b/29274-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,6917 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of People of Position, by Stanley Portal Hyatt + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: People of Position + +Author: Stanley Portal Hyatt + +Illustrator: H. Richard Boehm + +Release Date: June 30, 2009 [EBook #29274] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PEOPLE OF POSITION *** + + + + +Produced by Peter Vachuska, Julia Miller, Martin Pettit +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +PEOPLE OF POSITION + + +[Illustration: LALAGE] + + +PEOPLE OF POSITION + +BY + +STANLEY PORTAL HYATT + +Author of "Little Brown Brother," "End of the Road," etc. + +_With a Frontispiece by H. RICHARD BOEHM_ + + +NEW YORK +WESSELS & BISSELL CO. +1910 + + +COPYRIGHT, 1910, BY + +WESSELS & BISSELL CO. + +_September_ + +THE PREMIER PRESS +NEW YORK + + + + +PROLOGUE + + +Grierson refilled the magazine of his rifle carefully--when you are +dealing with South American patriots it is better to take no chances, +even though the enemy has retreated--then he wiped a couple of +half-dried blood spots off his cheek, and, after that, went over to +where lay the body of the man from whom that same blood had spurted. + +For a full minute he stood very still, gazing with sombre eyes at the +kindly face which seemed to be smiling back at him even in death; then +he knelt down, and, with infinite gentleness, smoothed the ruffled hair, +arranged the collar so as to hide the bullet hole in the bronzed throat, +and crossed the hands on the breast. When he got up again his face was +twitching strangely, seeing which, the American officer, who had come up +behind him, suddenly became busy with his men. + +It was one of those stories which seldom get into the newspapers, +possibly because they are so utterly unimportant in themselves--a ragged +band of half-breeds robbing and murdering in the name of liberty; a +landing party of marines from the nearest warship, which happened to be +American; and a futile little fight ending, as usual, in the defeat of +the brigands. Only this time, an Englishman, who had gone out with the +marines, had been killed; and now Grierson, his friend, was trying to +realise the fact. + +"He was awfully good to me, the whitest man that ever stepped. I met him +down the coast a year ago--my luck was right out--and he brought me +along with him. I hadn't had a proper meal for days, much less a smoke, +and he'd only my word for who I was. Yet he risked it, and I've been +here ever since." Grierson, who had been walking in silence beside the +marine officer, spoke suddenly. + +The American nodded sympathetically. "It was hard luck to be killed by a +rotten Dago outfit like that. Whenever you get a coloured man talking +about liberty you know he's just prospecting round for a chance to break +the Eighth Commandment." + +Grierson muttered a curse; then, as if he wanted to confide in someone, +possibly as a relief to his own feelings, "His partner will be here in a +week's time; he was on his way already. When he comes I shall clear out +and go home." + +Captain Harben nodded again. "Meaning England?" he asked. + +"Yes, England--London. I've had ten years knocking about the +world--China, India, Australia, and all round this forsaken continent; +and the sum total of what I've got to show for it is the fever and a +couple of knife scars in my back--patriots again, one Hindu, one +Peruvian. So I think I had better go home and begin afresh--if I can." +And he gave a bitter little laugh. + +The American glanced sharply at the tall, thin figure and haggard face. +When they had started out that morning to drive the saviours of their +country out of the spirit stores they were looting, Grierson had struck +him as a keen youngster with a rather infectious laugh, and his +appreciation had been increased by the way in which the other had +dropped a running insurgent at four hundred yards' range; now, however, +the captain found himself wondering whether, after all, it was not too +late for his companion to talk of beginning life afresh. + +At dinner that night he expressed his doubts to the Consul, who shook +his head. "Locke, the man they killed to-day, told me young Grierson had +been through a pretty rough time, touched rock bottom. He was going into +the British Army, but had to throw it up, and went out to the Orient for +some Company which failed soon after, leaving him stranded. Since then +everything he had been in has turned out wrong; and now this has +gone.... Queer how some men do get the cards dealt them that way.... +He's clever, writes very well, and might have done something at it. +Locke's death will be an ugly blow to him." Being a kindly man and none +too successful himself, he sighed in sympathy, then mixed another whisky +and soda, and passed on to official matters. + +A little later Captain Harben harked back to the former question. "He's +got plenty of pluck. He was all there when it came to a fight. I like +him." + +"So do I," the other answered, "only I guess pluck of that sort won't +help him much in England, and you know, or at least I know, that a +fellow who's knocked about a lot doesn't suit civilisation, or +civilisation doesn't suit him--put it which way you like, the result is +the same. His nerves go under, somehow, and it ends so," nodding towards +the whisky bottle. + +Meanwhile Grierson was sitting on the verandah of his dead employer's +house staring out into the night, and trying to make plans for the +future. + +"Whatever happens, I don't mean to starve again," he muttered. + + + + +PEOPLE OF POSITION + + + + +CHAPTER I + + +Mrs. Marlow flicked a crumb off her dress with rather unnecessary care. +"I've had a most annoying letter from Jimmy to-day. It came by the +second post, after Henry had gone to the City, and quite upset me. His +employer, Mr. Locke, has been killed in some disgraceful riot, and now +Jimmy himself is coming home. Of course, in a way, I shall be glad to +see him, and so will the rest of the family; but I know he's got no +money, and no profession to fall back upon, and I cannot see what he is +going to do for a living. If I asked him to do so, I have no doubt Henry +would make a place for him in the office; but I am not going to have my +husband burdened with my brother. Henry is too generous as it is; and +the Stock Exchange is in such a fearful state now that it is difficult +to make a bare living." She sighed heavily, and glanced round the +expensively furnished drawing-room, as if wondering whether that +abominable tendency towards suspicion on the part of the public, which +was causing it to eschew all sorts of speculation, might not result in +her losing the few luxuries she did possess. + +Her visitor, Mrs. Grimmer, wife of the junior partner in the well-known +City firm of Hornaday, Grimes, and Grimmer, dried fruit brokers, nodded +with an affectation of sympathy which she did not feel--the Marlows had +a touring car and a motor-brougham, whilst she had only a one-horse +carriage--and held out her cup to be refilled. She had known her hostess +for a good many years, over thirty in fact, ever since she and May +Marlow, who was then May Grierson and had thick flaxen plaits tied with +blue ribbon, had met at their first children's party. Walter Grierson, +the eldest of the family, now a City solicitor, had been eleven at that +time, whilst May had been seven and Ida five; but Jimmy had not arrived +until three summers later. + +Both Mr. and Mrs. Grierson belonged to eminently solid families, whose +forebears for generations had looked to the City for their living. To +them, the Square Mile stood for Respectability, just as the West End +typified Laxity and Luxury; whilst outside these limits there was +nothing but the Lower Classes. They ignored the Underworld, possibly +because they knew nothing of it, more likely because it had no place in +their Scheme of Things, the two main articles of their creed being that +every man must choose an occupation early and abide by his choice, and +that every good woman must stay at home. The logical result of these +Grierson ancestors and their kind was the Victorian age, the exaltation +of the Supremely Bad in Art and the Supremely Proper in mankind. Mrs. +Grierson had been Victorian in the fullest sense of the word, and she +had lived and died with all her principles intact, believing in the +Evangelical Church, the respectability of wealth, and the evil +tendencies of modern thought. On the other hand, some alien strain had +crept into Mr. Grierson, and he had not accepted the family traditions +in their entirety; in fact, both his own relatives and those of his wife +had found much to criticise in his ideas. Had he been able to shake +himself free of the family, he would have liked nothing better than to +possess a ranch in America or a sheep station in New South Wales. All +his life, he longed, in secret, for open air, and freedom, and the +society of men whose interests did not stop at Temple Bar; but, in the +end, Fate, in the form of a business bequeathed him by his father, sent +him to the City, and he resolutely put his dreams on one side. The +inevitable happened. He was essentially an honourable man, and, not +understanding the meaning of Commercial Morality, he imagined that +other men in the City were the same; consequently, he met the fate of +he who of old went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, though there was no +Samaritan to sympathise; rather otherwise, in fact, for his fellows +shook their heads scornfully over his failure, whilst admiring the +business capacity of those into whose hands his capital had passed. + +The process of Mr. Grierson's ruin had been a comparatively slow one, +the law requiring certain decencies to be observed in these matters; and +his wife was dead, and his three elder children grown up and married, +before the day when he discovered his own ruin, and took the quickest +way out of the troubles of this world. He was mad, of course; everyone +agreed on that point: not the least of the proofs being the fact that +the only message he left was a letter for Jimmy, who was then at +Sandhurst. The coroner had read the letter, and handed it back with a +remark that it had no bearing whatsoever on the case; but no one else +had seen it, nor had Jimmy given a hint of its contents to any of the +family. It concerned him alone, he said. He would have to leave +Sandhurst now and wanted to go abroad, and the others let him go, if not +gladly, at least without any great regrets. They were all provided for; +Walter was partner in a growing firm of solicitors; May had married +Henry Marlow, a stockbroker; whilst Ida's husband was, if not actually +in the City, at least very respectable, being a Northampton boot factor. +They were very fond of Jimmy, genuinely fond of him, both from the +purely correct point of view, as being their brother, and for his own +happy disposition; but, none the less, there had always been a certain +jealousy of their father's evident preference for him, a jealousy +mingled with surprise, or even resentment, Jimmy being essentially +unpractical, and almost unconventional. Moreover, they had never liked +the idea of his going to Sandhurst. None of the family had been in the +Service before; and it was a matter of common knowledge that no man +could make financial headway in the Army. So, when, through Mr. Marlow's +influence, the boy obtained a billet in China, the family heaved sighs +of relief, and though, throughout the next ten years, his sisters kept +up as regular a correspondence as his wanderings allowed, their home +concerns and increasing families inevitably weakened their interest in +him. They had their own circles, in which he had no part, though, on the +other hand, when he did think of England, which was often during those +years of hardship and disappointment, Jimmy always looked on them as +essentially his own people, to whom, one day, he would return, having no +one else.... + +Mrs. Grimmer sipped her tea slowly, and asked for further particulars +concerning the absent wanderer. + +"Does he say what he proposes to do?" + +Mrs. Marlow shook her head. "No, only that he's sick of knocking about, +and thinks he will try his luck at home. It's very selfish of him, +because he has never been a credit to us; and, of course, naturally, +everyone will know he's our brother." + +"What has he done that wasn't--wasn't quite the thing?" the visitor +asked. + +Mrs. Marlow looked a little puzzled. "Well, I don't know that there's +anything, exactly--at least that way. Only, Luke Chapman and her husband +met him in Calcutta three years ago--Mr. Chapman has a branch there, you +know--and Luke told me that he was doing nothing, and living at a queer +sort of hotel, where ships' officers and those sort of people stay, not +at all the thing. Then, you see, he's done no good. He's just as poor as +when he went out ten years ago." + +"So he's done no harm and no good. Then you can keep an open mind about +him, May. Meanwhile, if I were you, I should try and find him a wife +with money. He's sure to be interesting, you know. Men who travel +usually are. Let me know when he comes back, as I should like to meet +him again. Well, good-bye, dear, and don't worry too much about your +black sheep. The colour may come off, or you may be able to get him +whitewashed." + +"Edith Grimmer was very flippant about it," Mrs. Marlow complained to +her husband that evening, after she had shown him Jimmy's letter and had +heard his remarks thereon. "I didn't like her tone at all. She has grown +rather coarse lately, since they have got into that new set. They dine +in town a good deal now, and I'm sure they can't afford it. She's taken +to smoking cigarettes, too." + +Her husband, a small man with a waxed moustache and the most perfect +fitting clothes, frowned heavily. There had been girls, in fact there +were still some, who might blow whole clouds of cigarette smoke in his +face and only evoke a laugh from him; but they had nothing to do with +his home life. Where the latter was concerned, he was very careful; and +he fully agreed with May's prejudices. Such things injured one's +position in the neighbourhood. "Edith is a very foolish woman," he said +severely. "And Grimmer is little more sensible. He was talking a great +deal of nonsense about South African mines when we were coming down in +the train this evening. Crossley and Merchant were in the carriage, and +I am sure they were pleased when I took him up sharply. I do not know +whether he is aware that I was interested in the promotion of the +Umchabeze Gold Dredging Syndicate; if so, his remarks were positively +insulting. It seems he lost money over it. So did other people; but I +can't help that." He threw his cigar end into the fire with a rather +vicious gesture. + +His wife came across to his chair, put her hands on his shoulders, and +kissed him gently on the forehead. "Never mind, dear. You mustn't let +these silly people annoy you. I'm sorry now I worried you to-night about +my brother, Jimmy. I might have left it until the morning, when you +weren't tired." + +He drew her face down to his and returned her kiss. She was perfectly +content for him to be away all day, even for several days when he went +golfing, and he was content to go; yet, in a sense, they were lovers +still, after the fashion of those whose way through life has been easy. + +"You were quite right to mention it, dear," he said. "Of course we must +do what we can for him, have him to stay here when he lands, and so on. +I daresay he will be quite presentable, after all. Why, a man I know at +the club, Heydon, Amos Heydon, was in the East for twelve years, in a +bank I think, and you would never imagine he had been out of the City. +He's got all our ways." + +Mrs. Marlow sighed. "I hope you're right, Henry. You usually are, and +you've had so much experience. But I wish we knew what he intended to do +for a living. He is thirty now, or nearly that, and ought to be in a +better position. The whole thing is most annoying. I must take care he +does not tell the children stories which will make them dream at +nights--Harold is sure to ask him for some, and you know what a memory +the boy has. Then, too, we don't want Jimmy proposing to any of the nice +girls we know, like Laura Stephens or May Cutler; for then we should +have to confess that he had no means of any sort, and it would be +horribly humiliating. See how well those young Cutlers have got on in +their father's office. Of course, Edith Grimmer knows that Jimmy is a +failure; but she won't talk about it." + +Yet, at that very moment, Mrs. Grimmer was retailing the story of May's +troubles to her husband and a couple of guests who had been dining with +them. + +"Jimmy always was a nice boy, not a bit of a prig. But he's not what you +can call a success; and I fancy the Marlows won't want to exhibit him. +Still, I shall have him to dinner and get some nice girls to meet him." + +Grimmer laughed. He had not forgotten what had passed between Marlow and +himself in the train, and he was far from forgiving his loss over the +gold dredging syndicate. "Have him by all means, Edith, if you think it +will annoy those people. Besides, a Grierson who was interesting would +be quite a show animal." + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +Jimmy Grierson landed in England a broken man. What was almost worse, he +was aware of the fact, and, whilst he resented the way in which Fate had +dealt with him, he had no great hopes of altering things. He had drifted +so long that, somehow, he supposed he must go on drifting. John Locke +had stopped the process for a time, and given him something to stick to, +something worth doing; but a bullet from an old Remington in the hands +of a ragged Dago, a bullet probably aimed at someone else, had sent him +adrift again. True, that same Dago had gone, a few seconds later, to +whatever place there is reserved for his kind; but that did not alter +matters; it avenged, perhaps, but it could not bring back, the one man +besides his father for whom Jimmy had ever cared, who had ever +understood him, and, therefore, been able to keep him from drifting. + +His decision to return to England had been taken on the spur of the +moment, without reflection; but he held to it, because no other course +seemed to offer any better prospects. He knew, perfectly well, that +Locke's partner would not want to keep him on, and he shrank from the +ordeal of searching for employment again. He had been through it so +often before; and he had learnt, long since, that the man on the spot +only gets the temporary billets; the permanent staff is always recruited +at home. Moreover, he had the fevers of half a dozen different countries +in his system, and the shock of Locke's death brought at least one of +them to the surface. Two Dagos helped him on board ship, a wreck, and +though, physically, he was much stronger at the end of the voyage, his +nerves were far from being right. + +London extended its welcome to him in the form of a drenching rain, and +he shivered a little under the thin, ready-made overcoat he had bought +from a German store on the Coast. + +He had hoped that one of the family would have met the boat train, and +carried him off to a real home; but, though there had been a welcoming +hand for most of his fellow passengers, he, himself, scanned the crowd +in vain for a familiar face. Even those who had come across the ocean +with him seemed to forget him the moment they got out on to the +platform. He became the stranger at once; so he stood to one side until +they had all departed, feeling horribly alone. Still, he was home at +last, in his own country, and he tried to work up a proper sense of +elation as he waited in the station entrance, watching a porter hoisting +his battered trunks on to a cab. + +It was already evening, and the stream of people was flowing inwards +through the gates of the terminus, London's workers returning to those +dreary rows of villas in the suburbs, which, probably, seemed +delightfully peaceful, almost rural, by comparison with the noise and +grime of the City. Some were closing dripping umbrellas; others, having +no umbrellas, shook the rain out of the brims of theirs hats, and turned +down their soaking coat-collars as they came under shelter. All looked +more or less draggled and weary; yet you could see that they were on +their way to their own houses, where there would be someone to welcome +them, someone who had been waiting for them. Suddenly all Jimmy's sense +of loneliness came back, and he shivered again as the cab splashed out +of the muddy station yard, towards the hotel to which he had told his +people to address their letters. + +There was a letter from each of his sisters awaiting him, and he tore +them open more eagerly than was his wont. Ida, writing from her home in +Northampton, invited him to come down for a week at some vague future +date; one of the children was unwell, and until it recovered it was +impossible to fix a day. Still, they would be delighted to see him +again. Her letters always had a note of stiffness in them, which was +purely unintentional, or rather, purely natural, reflecting the one +salient point in her character. + +May's letter began with an apology. They were so sorry they could not +ask him down that night; but they had a large dinner party on, and he +would have made an odd man. Doubtless, too, he would be tired after his +journey and disinclined for such a function. The following day, however, +they would be glad to have him. It was forty minutes' run from Victoria +Station, and she would send the car to meet him at the other end. + +Jimmy thrust the letters into his pocket, and followed his luggage up to +his room, which was a perfect example of its kind, containing the +irreducible minimum of furniture an hotel guest could require, and +having, as its sole wall decoration, a notice imploring you to switch +out the electric light when you did not actually require it. He was +disappointed, though not annoyed. The excuses appeared genuine, if +rather inadequate and he never suspected that May had spent the +afternoon in a distressing state of anxiety lest he should change his +mind, and, instead of going to the hotel, come straight down in time for +dinner. + +"There is no telling what he may be like," she said to her +sister-in-law, who was staying in the house. "We must see him first +before we introduce him to people here. Why, he may not even possess a +dress suit." + +Jimmy dined in the hotel. The dining-room was very empty, and he had a +corner of it all to himself, a miserable contrast to the cheerful, +crowded saloon of the mail steamer he had quitted that morning. He ate +very little, and would not wait for coffee. He felt he must get outside +that gloomy barn of the hostelry, must go where there was life and +movement, and, and if he could find it, society. + +The rain had ceased, and, as he came out of the dull side street into +the Strand, he experienced for the first time that strange thrill, +excitement, anticipation, almost exhilaration, which only the returned +wanderer who comes back to the Greatest of Cities after years of +absence, can know. When he had driven up to the hotel, the day +population had been hurrying home through the downpour; now, though the +street and the pavements were still glistening with the wet, and there +was another deluge to come, London, the night side of London, was out as +if there was no such things as rain and mud and sodden footwear. + +Jimmy stood a couple of minutes, watching it, taking it all in, as +though he had never seen it before. A policeman on point duty eyed him +curiously, yet with no hint of suspicion. Most men, and practically +every woman, remembered Jimmy's face when they met him a second time. He +was not handsome, far from it; but, in some indefinable way, his grey +eyes suggested sympathy, whilst the poise of his head spoke of +determination verging on obstinacy. + +He was looking at the scene as a whole, rather than at individuals, and +the policeman remarked, with a kind of grim satisfaction, that he let +the women pass him unnoticed. Even when one turned back at the next +corner and repassed him slowly, he seemed not to see her. Just as he was +turning away, however, a girl's face did catch his eye, and, +unconsciously, he stopped again. She was coming out of a restaurant a +few yards away, accompanied by a man in evening dress, though she +herself was in an ordinary walking costume. Tall and very graceful, with +dark eyes and a perfect profile, she formed a curious contrast to her +short and rather stout companion. It was only a question of a minute +before they got into a waiting hansom and driven away; but, somehow, the +incident worried Jimmy. He wondered who she was, what she was, and was +so preoccupied with her that as he walked on eastwards, he hardly +noticed that he left the Strand, with its life and hurry, for the +comparative quietude of Fleet Street by night. He had come out of the +hotel intending to have a drink at the first likely-looking bar he came +to; but he was half-way between the Griffin and Ludgate Circus before he +remembered he was thirsty. + +"Hullo, Grierson, my best of piracy experts. So you've come to Fleet +Street at last, as I always said you would. Sneddon, let me introduce +Mr. Grierson, an old colleague of mine on a short-lived paper in +Shanghai. He knows more Chinese pirates than any man I ever met, not to +mention gunrunners and opium smugglers; and he's perfectly invaluable to +fill a column when the news has run short." The speaker, a man of about +Jimmy's own age, with a keen, smooth-shaven face and restless eyes, +shook hands heartily, and ordered another round of drinks. + +At the sound of his voice, Jimmy's face lit up with genuine pleasure. He +had known Douglas Kelly well on the China Coast, when the other was +editing a local paper for a starvation wage, and, as Kelly said, he had +written him many a column to fill up space with when both copy and +advertisements were short. The British and American community, being +absorbed in trade, and knowing nothing of literature, and often very +little of the English language, as is the way of its kind, had failed +to see the genius under the wild and not too temperate exterior, and had +frowned on the young editor as a rather scandalous person entirely +devoid of commercial instincts; but Jimmy had always stood by him, and +when a sudden access of wealth, in the form of a draft for sixty pounds +for a series of short stories in an American magazine, had enabled Kelly +to say good-bye both to the China Coast and to his creditors, Grierson +has regretted him as much, or even more, than had the latter. + +"So you've come to Fleet Street, at last," Kelly repeated. "I knew you +would. And I suppose you are going to enter into competition with me. I +believe you are the one man of whom I am really afraid." + +Jimmy laughed. "I only landed to-day, and I wandered down here by +chance. As for writing, I have done very little since I saw you off on +that tramp steamer. There were two or three acquaintances of yours +watching the mail boat next day on the chance of finding you." + +"Herbst, I suppose, and the other squarehead from the hotel--what was +his name?--oh, Heine, and that uncleanly Greek tailor. They were a dull +lot, and I've forgotten them long ago. Tell me about yourself. Where +have you been?" + +"India, Australia, and the Dago Republics, where I saw the beginning +and the end of various presidents. I made a couple of trips on a +blockade runner, and went on a hidden treasure hunt. It sounds all +right, thrilling and exciting, yet, when I size it up in my own mind, it +comes down to a record of fever and disappointment; with a few purple +patches which were so good that, somehow, they seem to have come out of +another man's book, instead of being my own experiences." + +Kelly stared into his glass. "I know," he said very quietly. "I know the +game, though I got out of it sooner than you did, being wiser, as I +always told you I was. I suppose you know I'm famous?" + +Jimmy smiled; long ago, Douglas Kelly had explained to him his theory of +self-advertisement, how, once he was strong enough to do so, he intended +to go in for a regular system of blatant, unblushing egotism, which +would pay equally little regard to the feelings of others and to the +recognised canons of veracity. Now, it was evident that he was +translating his theory into practice. + +"Even in the Dago countries we used to get papers containing articles of +yours," Jimmy said. "And I saw a review of one of your books. Did you +put some of our old friends of the China Coast into them?" + +Douglas Kelly shook his head emphatically. "They weren't even worth +satirising. They might take it as flattery if I remembered their very +existence.... I've done what I said I would, Grierson. I'm making a +thousand a year now." He turned to his companion. "Sneddon, you might go +back to the office, and see if there's anything doing. If anyone wants +me, say I'm busy"; then when the other had gone, "How are things with +you, Jimmy?" he asked bluntly. + +Jimmy laughed a little awkwardly. "Well, they shot my last employer, who +was also my best friend, out there; and I came home because I thought it +might change the luck." + +"So you're broke, just as I used to be?" + +"No, not exactly. I've got a few pounds left; but I've nothing to do, +and I don't know what to turn my hand to--that's all." Jimmy answered, +then as Kelly dived into his pocket and produced a cheque book, he +flushed quickly, "No, old man. If I want that, I'll come to you; but I +don't want it yet. Thanks very much, though." + +Kelly shrugged his shoulders. "You're quite a change. It's generally the +other way round. Men ask me for money, and I do the refusing." Usually, +his expression was hard, almost cynical, but as he looked at Jimmy it +softened, and he seemed to grow years younger. He was back again on the +China Coast, in the days when success was a thing of the future, and +therefore greatly to be prized. "You'll do well, Grierson, you've got it +in you, just as I had. And, after all, London is the one place, the only +market worth bringing your stuff to." + +"I will admit I had thought of writing, but I know how hard it is to get +a start, and----" Jimmy began; but Kelly cut him short. + +"Rot! It's hard for the ruck, for the ninety and nine, who, after all, +ought to find it impossible, not merely hard. But it's different for you +and me, Jimmy Grierson, because we're not in the ruck. Of course you'll +write, for it's in you, and you would be a fool to try anything else. +You won't jump into a job right away; and you'll have to fight as I +fought. I started as a sub-editor on three pounds a week, correcting the +grammar in the copy of men who were getting five times that amount--but +I can get you a start of sorts, right away. Come around now to the +_Record_ office, and I'll introduce you to Dodgson, the editor, a +perfectly uninspired person, who ought to have been a grocer's assistant +and have sung in a chapel choir. But he has the grace to realise his +limitations, and take my advice. It will mean two guineas every now and +then for a Page Four article--a thousand words, you know." + +Jimmy finished off his drink and stood up. He was beginning to +understand that, after all, there was an element of sane, cool common +sense behind Kelly's blatant self-assertiveness. It might irritate what +the other called the "ruck," but it also cowed them, and they got out of +his path; moreover, there was always the undeniable fact that the man +had genius of no common order. Jimmy had been perfectly sincere when he +said he had not come home intending to make his living by his pen. He +had thought of doing so, certainly, or rather had longed to do so; but, +like most amateurs, he had been deterred by what he had heard of the +difficulties, and had put the idea on one side. Now, however, the +proposition had come to him in a concrete form, from a man who had +succeeded, a man, moreover, who knew his capacity, and was able to judge +his prospects of success. After all, it was only part of that game of +drift which he had been playing for the last ten years; and the new +phase had this advantage--he might be able to make use of what he had +learned during the previous stages of his drifting. So he followed +Douglas Kelly out into Fleet Street, then down one of the narrow alleys, +to the _Herald_ office. + +The main entrance to the _Record_ building, that through which the +general public enters, when it wishes to pay for advertisements, or +consult the files, or order back numbers, has a rather gorgeous swing +door and a quite gorgeous door-keeper in uniform with no less than four +medal ribbons on his breast; but all this is closed in by an iron grille +when normal people leave the City, and the staff has to enter through a +small door at the back, which is guarded by an old and surly porter, +over the window of whose box hangs a peremptory and uncleanly notice +forbidding anyone to smoke in the building. + +Douglas Kelly ignored both the porter and the notice, and went straight +up to the second floor, where, after a moment's parley with a +weary-looking secretary, he and Jimmy were admitted to the editor's +room. + +Somehow, Jimmy had always pictured the editor of a great daily as a +plethoric person with keen eyes, and a background of leather-bound +volumes; but this one was thin and insignificant; there was not a single +book in his room, and, at the first glance, Jimmy was inclined to +believe that his friend had been right when he spoke of the editor +singing in a chapel choir. Yet, after Kelly had introduced him briefly, +as an old colleague, and Dodgson had put a few curt questions, Grierson +began to change his mind. + +Jimmy could talk well. He had, in an unusual degree, the art of putting +things vividly and crisply, and he possessed an extraordinary memory +for those little details which give actuality to the picture. When he +described the shooting of a presidential candidate, Dodgson could see +the man with his grimy hands and torn collar, crumpling up as the volley +from the firing party caught him. The editor himself had never come in +contact with crude realities such as this--a London County Councillor +escaping by a hair's breadth from a fully-deserved conviction for +corruption over a tramway contract was the nearest approach he had +witnessed--but he understood the value of Jimmy's reminiscences, and, +without a moment's hesitation, he asked him for an article, hinting +plainly that, if the written matter were as good as his spoken words, +the paper would be glad of many others. + +Jimmy left the room with an unwonted sense of elation. Kelly had +withdrawn immediately he had introduced his friend, but he was waiting +in the doorway. "Well, what did you do?" he asked. + +"He's going to give me a chance," Jimmy answered. Kelly nodded. "Of +course he will. He must. I introduced you. Don't you realise, James +Grierson, that I am a man they dare not offend, because the great +fool-public wants stuff with my signature; and, if the _Record_ upset +me, I could go across the road to the _Herald_ and, perhaps, get a +bigger salary? It's all a game of bluff, as I told you years ago in that +fan-tan shop in Shanghai. I know you won't bluff through as I have done, +because you have a streak of--what shall I call it?--early Victorian +modesty, in you; but still you will come out on top, because you've got +brains, instead of the whisky-soaked sponge which occupies the space +behind the brow of the average Fleet Street man." + +"I shouldn't think you're very popular in Fleet Street," Jimmy remarked +grimly. + +Douglas Kelly shrugged his shoulders. "The ruck would dislike me anyway, +because I know more than it does. Still, it need not worry. I am going +to quit journalism, and go in for fiction soon, as you will do in due +course.... What's the time?" They had come out into Fleet Street again, +and he glanced upwards at the _Telegraph's_ clock. "Half-past ten. It's +too late to take you down to stay at my place, as I can't telephone to +my wife. So I may as well stay in town. We'll wander round a bit, and +after closing time, I'll take you up to one of my clubs." + +"Your wife. So you're married?" Jimmy smiled, as though at some +recollection. "You seem to have done pretty well all round; whilst I am +still where I was." + +The other took him up sharply, "Still where you were. Why, you've got +your head full of copy, and you're right at your market, instead of +being on that forsaken China Coast. Well, let's have a drink here for a +start." + + + + +CHAPTER III + + +Jimmy awoke in the morning with a slight headache, and a fixed +determination not to go out again with Douglas Kelly. True, it had cost +him nothing, Kelly having carried him from one club to another, cashing +a cheque at each, and spending the proceeds with such freedom as to +evoke a protest from his guest. + +"I want to impress you," Kelly had retorted. "I want to show you how +well I've done. I always do the same when I get hold of any of you +fellows from out there. Yet," he paused and looked at the other keenly, +"you're such a queer beggar, that I don't suppose you are impressed. I +needn't have tried it on you, after all," but, none the less, he had +declined to let his companion go, and it had been past three when a +sleepy night porter admitted Jimmy to the hotel, Kelly having declared +his intention of taking a room at the club they had visited last. + +Jimmy drew up his blind to find the sun shining in a cloudless sky, and +his spirits went up at once. As a result of the deluge of the night +before, London looked almost clean and bright, and he began to wonder +at his depression of the previous evening. After all, it was very good +to be home again, and, thanks to Kelly, he had already made a small +start, which might lead to much bigger things. Kelly, himself, had +arrived in England with nothing, an unknown man. + +From Kelly, his mind worked backwards to the girl he had seen enter the +cab. It was curious how her face seemed fixed in his memory. The thought +of her, and of her possible story, worried him all the time he was +shaving, and he found himself wishing he had never noticed her. Somehow, +he did not like the look of her companion, who seemed to treat her with +a very perfunctory sort of courtesy, verging on familiarity, or even +contempt. He was still thinking of her when he went down to breakfast; +but the sight of a copy of the _Record_, the first real English daily he +had seen for many years, a paper, moreover, which wanted him to write +for it, changed the current of his thoughts, and he forgot all about the +girl. + +Dodgson had told him there was no hurry for the article, any time within +the next week or so would do, and he, himself, knew that it would be +impossible to write in the dreary atmosphere of the hotel; so he decided +to go down to the City and call on his brother, Walter. There was no +one else he wanted to see in town. All his former acquaintances had +dropped clean out of his life, or, rather, he had dropped out of theirs; +and, probably, he could not have found one of them, even had he wished +to do so, which was not the case. He was a very lonely man, he told +himself; and yet he did not feel bitter about that fact as he had done +on the previous night; his meeting with Kelly, and the new hope with +which the other had infused him, had changed his views greatly. Now, it +seemed as if he had a prospect of doing something definite, of starting +on a new career, his success in which would depend entirely on his own +exertions. + +Walter Grierson was a short, clean-shaven man with a decidedly pompous +manner. He had been very successful in his profession, owing to his +energy, rather than to his mental capacity, and he regarded unsuccessful +men as little better than criminals. His whole outlook on life was +severe, except in his own home, where he was a generous husband and +indulgent father. Never having been tempted himself, he had no sympathy +with those who fell, being quite unable to understand them. Steadiness +was the virtue he most admired in younger men, meaning by that term the +capacity for choosing and sticking to an orthodox method of livelihood +and for maintaining an unwavering respectability of conduct. Jimmy's +career, the wanderings from one country to another, the continual +changes of occupation, had been a very real grief to him, violating as +it did every canon of his creed. No one could call his brother steady. + +Walter Grierson was engaged when Jimmy called, and the visitor spent +half an hour glancing round the gloomy office, and wondering how anyone +could be content to spend his days in such a place. He wanted to smoke, +but something in the attitude of the clerks restrained him, and he put +his cigarette case back into his pocket. He was not sure about the three +younger ones, whether they would be scandalised, or whether the smell of +the tobacco would arouse cruel longings which could not be satisfied +until the too-brief luncheon hour came round; but there was no mistaking +the reprobation in the old managing clerk's face. Even their richest +clients knew better than to disturb the microbes on the upper shelves +with their smoke. Those same clients were all City men, dignified, and +understanding the ways of the City, which are very different from those +of San Francisco or Johannesburg. In London, it is only foreigners and +green-fruit brokers and such like doubtful people, with neither +self-respect nor position to maintain, who break the City's law. +Stockbrokers are, of course, men apart from the rest. They draw most of +their customers from a class which knows nothing of business; and must +therefore be humoured; moreover, a little eccentricity, a +lightheartedness, verging at times on the clownish, is useful, for, if +duly reported, it procures the Stock Exchange a free advertisement in +the Press. Even Mr. Marlow had been known to play football with a silk +hat and wave a little Union Jack, when the news of a British victory, +which meant an improvement in the Market, was recorded in a special +edition. But his brother-in-law, Walter Grierson, had never done any of +these things, having neither the need, nor the desire, for +advertisement. Jimmy did not know the City, but he knew a good deal of +mankind, and he gleaned something of the spirit and traditions of that +office, as his eyes wandered from the rows of black, shiny deed boxes to +the equally shiny pate of the managing clerk, and then to the +drab-looking girl typist, pale-faced and narrow-chested, who seemed to +finger the key-board as though the maddening click of her abominable +machine had killed any individuality she might once have had, and turned +her into a mere part of the mechanism of the City. The one spot of +colour in the office was an insurance company's calendar, and, even on +that, the design was crude and the inscription little more than a dull +list of figures. Jimmy sighed, pitying them all. He did not know that +those who have never experienced the crude things of life seldom have +any desire for them. Being prosaic, they are satisfied with prosaic +surroundings, which is a fortunate thing in an essentially prosaic age. +There is very little room for romance in a world which gauges success by +the measure of a reputed bank balance. + +At last, the client, who proved to have side whiskers and an +ivory-handled umbrella, took his departure, and Walter Grierson came out +in his wake. The solicitor greeted Jimmy, if not warmly, at least +sincerely; then sat down and slowly took stock of the returned wanderer. + +"You look better than I expected from what May told me you had said in +your last letter. Yes, you look decidedly better. Still, you have +changed a great deal, changed in many ways." He adjusted his gold-rimmed +pince-nez, in order to make a closer scrutiny. + +Jimmy laughed. "Well, you must remember, it's ten years since you saw me +last, and I wasn't very old then. You, yourself, look exactly the same. +I should have known you anywhere. How are Janet and the children?" + +Walter Grierson's face brightened perceptibly. He was a family man above +everything, and he gave his brother very full details. "Let me see, +you've never seen George and Christine, have you?" he asked at the end +of the recital. + +Jimmy shook his head. "No, I have seven or eight unknown nephews and +nieces to inspect, or I'm not sure that it isn't nine. I've rather lost +count." + +The elder man frowned slightly; it was not quite the thing to refer to +members of the family in that flippant way. Surely Jimmy could recollect +the number of his sister's children. He gave the tally of the latter, +with their names and ages, and with guarded comments on their +peculiarities, from which Jimmy gathered that they were decidedly +inferior to the little Walter Griersons. And after that there came a +pause, short in duration, certainly, but very significant. After ten +years' separation the brothers had exhausted their subjects of mutual +interest in little over ten minutes. + +Jimmy fingered the cigarette case in his pocket, knowing the consolation +and the wisdom to be found in tobacco; but he did not like to produce +it, and he had already noted that Walter's room was innocent of any +ash-tray; so, instead, he racked his brains for a new topic of +conversation. At last: + +"You're the sole partner here now, aren't you?" he asked. + +Walter nodded. "Yes, Jardine died three years back, and I don't want +anyone else till I can take in Ralph, my eldest boy. He has a nasty +cold, or you would have seen him in the office." He shook his head, as +though at the thought of the dangerous after-effects of colds, and it +struck Jimmy that, for a man of forty-three or forty-four, Walter was +very old and stuffy. He, himself, often felt old and more than a little +weary, but in quite another way. He was not snuffly and solemn in +consequence; it was only that he knew his youth was slipping from him +fast, perhaps had already slipped from him, as is the case with every +European who stays too long in countries made for the coloured man, and +it irritated him to think that, if success ever did come to him, it +would probably be when he had lost the capacity for enjoyment. + +"Have you made any plans for your future movements?" Walter asked +suddenly. + +Jimmy started. "Well, yes--at least, last night I met an old friend of +mine, and he advised me to go in for writing. I've done a bit of it, of +course, and this man, Douglas Kelly--I expect you know his name." Walter +shook his head; he never read anything except the _Times_. "He's a man +who's made a big hit, and he knows what I can do. So I think of taking +his advice. The _Record_ has already asked me for an article." + +Once more, Walter Grierson frowned, and then he sighed. The only +journalists he had ever met had been connected with financial papers, +and his negotiations with them had taught him the subtleties of +scientific blackmail. Being a man of little imagination, though of +retentive memory, he judged the whole profession by the two or three +members of it, or rather pseudo-members, he had been unfortunate enough +to encounter professionally. + +"I am sorry to hear your decision, Jimmy," he said. "Very sorry, indeed. +You will find it a most precarious way of life, and it will bring you +into contact with highly undesirable people. I had hoped, we had all +hoped, that now you had returned you would settle down to something +steady. Personally, I think you will be making a great mistake. But I +suppose you know your own business best." He shook his head, as though, +in his own mind, he was quite sure Jimmy did not know anything of the +sort. + +Then, once more, there was an awkward pause, and it was a relief to both +of the brothers when the junior clerk came in with a card in his hand. +Walter Grierson glanced at the name, then got up. "I am sorry, Jimmy; +but this is a man with whom I had made an appointment. I would ask you +to lunch with me, but there is more than a probability of my having to +take him out. You must come down and stay with us soon. Janet told me to +give you her love, and ask you to fix a date. I am very glad you called. +Give my love to May when you see her to-night. And, Jimmy," he hesitated +a little, "of course it is not for me to advise you; but I do wish you +would reconsider that decision of yours. It's a most precarious calling, +most precarious, and, I am afraid, one full of temptations." There was +perfectly genuine concern in his voice, and yet, within a couple of +minutes, Jimmy and his affairs were clean out of his mind, and he was +deep in the business of his client. + +Jimmy lighted a cigarette on the landing outside his brother's office; +but neither the tobacco, nor the drink he had a few minutes later, could +alleviate his sense of disappointment. He was a very lonely man. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + + +The Marlow motor-car, large and luxurious, with red panels and an +expensive alien chauffeur, met Jimmy at the station. Mrs. Marlow hurried +down to the hall as she heard the throbbing of the engine outside the +front door, and greeted her brother with emotion which verged on tears. + +"I am very glad to see you again, Jimmy, dear," she said, kissing him a +second time. "And Henry, too, is delighted to have you. Of course, you +have grown a great deal older, but I don't know that you have changed +very much." She scrutinised his face, then noted, with something akin to +dismay, that his clothes, though well cut, were neither new nor +fashionable. + +Jimmy, on his part, was trying to readjust his ideas. He had been +picturing May as still rather rosy and inclined to plumpness, +essentially suggestive of good nature and repose; now, he saw her thin, +almost angular, a little hard of feature, though retaining some of her +good looks. In his calculations, he had forgotten the four children she +had brought into the world since he had seen her last. + +May asked him a number of questions about himself, his health, and his +doings, hardly waiting for his answers before passing on to something, +fresh, and hardly listening when she did allow him time to reply; then-- + +"I'll take you up to your room," she said. "Your trunks have gone up +already. I have had to give you one of the smaller spare rooms, because +my sister-in-law will be back to-night--you remember Laura, of +course--and there may be someone else coming to-morrow." At the door of +his room she paused. "Dinner is at half-past seven. We always dress, but +don't you trouble, if you would rather not, or, or----" She stammered a +little. + +Jimmy understood. "I always retained my suit through all my ups and +downs," he said with a smile. "It is the one absolute essential. It will +get you credit when nothing else will. Many a time I have gone to an +hotel with only the suit and a lot of old newspapers in my trunk, and +not five dollars in my pocket." + +Mrs. Marlow did not smile. Instead, she looked as she felt, shocked and +pained; and as she went downstairs she was casting round for some scheme +to stop Jimmy's flow of reminiscences. It would never do for him to talk +in that way before people like the Graylings or the Bashfords; whilst, +if the servants were to hear him, it would be all round the +neighbourhood in a couple of days that Mrs. Marlow's brother was, or had +been, a penniless adventurer. + +Jimmy did not come down till the dinner gong went; consequently, after +he had shaken hands with Henry Marlow, they went straight into the +dining-room, and May lost her chance of saying anything. + +Marlow himself was hungry and ate heartily, and the guest was distinctly +tired, thanks to Douglas Kelly; as a result, there was little said +during the first three courses, except by Mrs. Marlow, who gave her +husband a full account of all her own and the children's doings for that +day, and the names of the people on whom she had called, and of other +visitors whom she had met at their houses. Once or twice she tried to +include Jimmy in the conversation, by asking if he did not remember this +one or that, friends she had known before she was married; but, in every +case, they were merely names to him; they had all been grown up when he +was still at school, and now, after having forgotten their very +existence for ten years, he could not feel the slightest interest in +them. + +After a while, Marlow, having taken the edge off his appetite, asked him +a few questions about his wanderings, but paid little heed to his +answers. Even when Jimmy told, in his essentially picturesque way, the +story of John Locke's death, his brother-in-law merely remarked that +such things were never allowed to occur in the British Empire, though, +doubtless, they were to be expected under governments which had injured +the market so greatly in the past by repudiating their bargains. Their +debased silver currency and their worthless paper money were an absolute +scandal, he added. + +May, on her part, gave a little gasp when told of the end of Locke's +slayer; then, looking up, and seeing the parlour-maid standing +open-mouthed, with a sauce-boat balanced on a tray at a most dangerous +angle, she felt it was time to intervene. + +"Please don't give us any more horrors, Jimmy. We are not used to them +here. Mary," severely, to the parlour-maid, "the master's plate." + +Jimmy flushed and said no more; and, apparently, they were perfectly +content that it should be so, for the subject of his travels dropped, +and was not resumed, either then or afterwards. He saw that they were +not interested, even though they were his own people; and he listened in +silence when his sister went back to the apparently inexhaustible +subject of their friends. Certainly, whilst they sat smoking after +dinner, Henry Marlow did ask his guest some more questions, a great +many more in fact, and listened with considerable attention to the +replies; but, as Jimmy noted with a kind of grim amusement, they were +all of an impersonal nature, having reference solely to mining +conditions in South American states. Jimmy's own experiences at the +hands of Dago patriots left his brother-in-law unmoved, being things +which belonged rather to books, and certainly had no part in the lives +of people of position; but the effect of those same patriots' doings on +the development of the country, and, consequently, on the profits of +British Enterprise, aroused his bitterest wrath. Once, some years +before, he had lost over a thousand pounds through a new president +revoking a lead-mining concession which his predecessor had granted; +and, that predecessor having been sent where neither letters nor writs +could reach him, none of the purchase money had been recovered despite +the efforts of the Foreign Office. Mr. Marlow, himself, had never +forgiven either the Dagos or the diplomatists, especially as the +concession had eventually gone to a German firm, which had made a clear +half-million out of it; and he argued, not without reason, that the most +effective form of negotiation would have been a whiff of grapeshot, or +its modern equivalent, from the guns of a British cruiser. + +Jimmy listened patiently to the grievance, which took some time in the +telling, involving, as it did, full details of the careers and financial +standing of the directors of the ill-fated company, men of position and +weight in the City, who deserved very different treatment. + +"Disgraceful business, disgraceful," Henry added. "To think that the +British Government should allow us to be robbed by a snuff-coloured +rascal like that. Did you ever come across him?" + +"Who? President Montez?" Jimmy laughed apologetically. "I'm very sorry; +but I helped him with that revolution. I was pretty hard up at the time, +and I knew something about field guns, so they gave me a job." + +Mr. Marlow apparently saw nothing at which to laugh; in fact, he frowned +slightly. He held rather strong views on the subject of law and order; +moreover, there were people who would be very ready to sneer if they +heard Jimmy's story of the affair. But his chief thought was, as usual, +for his wife, who would be annoyed were she to learn the part Jimmy had +played. + +"I shouldn't tell May, if I were you," he said. "In fact, I don't think +I should tell anyone. You see, it's not--what shall I say?--quite the +thing to be mixed up in those affairs, and it would stand in your light +over here, socially as well as from a practical point of view. You +understand?" + +Jimmy nodded; at least he was beginning to understand. + +May was doing some fancy work when they joined her in the drawing-room; +but she glanced up with a smile as Jimmy entered, and told him to take +the chair next to hers. After all, he looked presentable, this brother +of hers, at any rate, in evening dress, a little thin for his height and +rather yellow in the face perhaps, but still there was about him a +certain indefinable air of distinction which most men she knew lacked. +There were girls who might even call him handsome. As she thought of +that, her mouth hardened momentarily. She must guard against any folly +of that sort by not introducing him in dangerous quarters until he was +in a very much better position financially. The last thought suggested a +question she had been intending to ask him at the first opportunity. + +"What are you thinking of doing now, Jimmy? I suppose you still intend +to remain at home?" + +Henry Marlow muttered something about the evening paper. He was always +tactful where his wife was concerned, and this was a Grierson concern, +in which he might seem an intruder. May would tell him anything there +was to tell later. + +Jimmy, remembering Walter's reception of his news, hesitated slightly. +The assurance with which Douglas Kelly's words had filled him was oozing +out rather rapidly. It was one thing to decide on a literary career when +one was in a Bohemian club and the time was long after midnight; but, +somehow, in an essentially staid drawing-room, where there was more than +a hint of Victorian influence in the furniture, and with a sense of a +heavy dinner still oppressing him, matters seemed different. After all, +it was only natural that it should be so. He was a Grierson, with a +veneration for conventions in his blood, and, in the appropriate +surroundings, the force, so long latent as to be practically forgotten, +began to make itself felt, not very strongly, perhaps, but still the +fact remained that it was there. Just as his father had given in at +last, and gone to the City, so, for a moment, it seemed to Jimmy that he +must go. But then he remembered Walter's office, where you could not +smoke, and the only spot of colour was that inartistic insurance +calendar with its grim lists of figures. + +"I'm going to write," he said, "or at least try to write. I think I can +make a living at it. It's worth trying. There's nothing else, you see," +he added, a little lamely. + +May stopped in the middle of a stitch, and stared at him with something +akin to dismay. She remembered an article of his she had once read, +unsigned to be sure, and only in an obscure Hong Kong paper, but so +painfully outspoken that she had shown it to no one, not even to her +husband; and then rose up before her the vision of him writing similar +articles for London journals, and of the world, her world, knowing him +to be the author. She recognised her brother's cleverness, and it never +entered into her head to doubt that he could get his work into print; +she knew nothing of the financial side of journalism, and, for the +moment, what had formerly seemed the all-important question, Jimmy's +method of livelihood, was thrust into the background, owing to her fear +that he would do something to compromise both himself and his family. + +Yet, the idea had taken her so greatly by surprise that at first she did +not know what to say. She was not afraid of offending Jimmy or of +hurting his feelings. To her, he was still a boy, who would; or at least +should, listen to her advice. + +"Surely you don't mean that, Jimmy," she began. "I never dreamt of your +contemplating such a thing; and I shall be very sorry if you go on with +it. I am certain you will do yourself a lot of harm, for I know from +your letters that you have picked up a number of curious, and even +improper, ideas. We are all aware that there is a low public taste which +likes these things; but there are already more than enough writers +providing them. We had hoped that when you came home you would settle +down to regular work of some sort." + +Jimmy had coloured a little. "What sort?" he asked quietly. + +It was May's turn to flush; she did not quite like his tone, and, +moreover, she had no answer ready. "Some business, of course," she +answered tartly. "You have no profession. Henry has promised to see if +any of his friends have vacancies in their offices. I suppose you have +saved enough to keep you for a little while?" + +Her brother got up rather suddenly. He had been alone so long, playing a +lone hand, that he had forgotten the great unwritten law of the Family +Inquisition, whose main clause is that the common rules of courtesy do +not apply when two of the same blood meet; but still, he recognised the +genuine kindness underlying the inquiry, and stifled his resentment, +which May would not have understood, because she and Walter and Ida were +in the habit of asking each other similar blunt questions. + +"For a short time," he answered. "Enough for a week or two, and a friend +on the Press has put me in the way of getting one commission already. +As for a City office, I couldn't stand it for a day." + +Mrs. Marlow put another stitch in her fancy work, then pulled her thread +a little viciously, breaking it. "Well, I hope you will be careful, and +not write anything we need feel ashamed of. Remember, that though you +may have no position to lose, we have one." + +"You needn't be afraid of that, May." There was a suspicion of scorn, +and more than a suspicion of anger, in his voice. "It doesn't make much +difference if I don't write under my own name, so long as I can get the +dollars, which are what I'm out for." + +Mrs. Marlow gave in with a sigh. After all, so long as he kept the +family name out of print, there would not be much harm done; and it was +a relief to find that he looked at matters from a practical point of +view. Of course, he ought to have accepted Henry's assistance and gone +into the City; but if he would not do so, as seemed to be the case, it +was some consolation to find that he was apparently anxious to make +money in other ways. + +But when she talked the matter over with her husband after Jimmy had +gone up to bed, Henry Marlow shook his head. His opinions coincided +exactly with those of Walter Grierson. "A most precarious occupation," +he said, "and one which I should certainly not allow our boys to take +up. It's a great pity, as I believe I could have got him into Foulger's +office--Foulger and Hilmon, you know, the jobbers." + +Upstairs, Jimmy was smoking and staring into his fire. Somehow, he felt +very disappointed, as though he had been working on a false assumption, +and must readjust his ideas and then start afresh. He was little more at +home than he had been the previous night in the hotel. + + + + +CHAPTER V + + +The hours of Jimmy's stay with the Marlows dragged by slowly. The +children, four boys, proved uninteresting in the extreme, whilst between +himself and Laura Marlow, May's sister-in-law, there was little in +common. Two other guests, an elderly aunt and uncle of Henry's, arrived +in time for dinner on the second night, and Jimmy retired more and more +into the background, or, rather, he found himself in the background by a +kind of natural sequence. No one wanted to put him there; in fact, both +his brother-in-law and his sister were kindness itself; but he was the +outsider in the party, sharing none of the interests of the others. + +He had been invited for a week, at least, longer if possible; yet at the +end of three days he was longing for an excuse to get back to town, +where he intended to take rooms; but no excuse presented itself, and so +he stayed on, spending most of his time in the billiard-room, a part of +the house seldom used in the daytime, writing, or trying to write, some +of the articles which Douglas Kelly had suggested. He had sent his copy +in to the _Record_, and each morning, immediately after breakfast, he +strolled down to the little news agent's shop to buy a copy of the +paper--Mr. Marlow took no halfpenny journals--but when Sunday came round +it had not appeared. + +The Marlows were regular church-goers, at least Mrs. Marlow was, and her +husband always accompanied her when he was not away at the seaside, +golfing. May took her religion as part of her settled order of +existence. She had been bred up in it, and she would have resented any +attack on it as fiercely as she would have resented the abolition of +class distinctions. She believed in it, and, in a sense, she loved it; +but, with the one exception of her father's tragic death, her way +through life had been so smooth that she had never felt the need of its +consolations, and, consequently, had never analysed it in any way. Doubt +had never entered into her mind, because her creed seemed to suit her +circumstances so admirably. The well-dressed congregation, the +well-trained choir, the cushioned seats and reserved pews, the suave, +optimistic rector, and deferential curates--these were all part of a +nicely balanced state of society which kept motor-cars, or at least +broughams, and paid its tradesmen's bills by cheque on the first of the +month. + +Henry Marlow seldom, if ever, gave the matter a thought; but he +subscribed generously when asked by the rector, and he kept the Ten +Commandments scrupulously, so far as his home life was concerned. He +respected the Church, as something which stood for solidity and the +security of property, like Consols and the Mansion House, and he +regarded Dissenters in much the same light as he did outside brokers, as +persons who should be watched by the police. He did not try to worship +both God and Mammon simultaneously; but, wholly unconsciously, he +divided his life into two parts, that which he spent in the City, and +that which he spent outside the Square Mile, and so avoided the +difficulty. + +Jimmy, on the other hand, had heard very few services during the last +ten years, and of those the majority had been read by a layman, and had +begun with the words "I am the resurrection and the life, saith the +Lord." Lack of opportunity had kept him from attending in the first +case, and, after a while, having lost the habit of his boyhood, he had +ceased to think of taking such opportunities as did offer. + +"I think it must be five years at least since I went to anything but a +funeral service," he remarked to May, as they walked towards the big +red-brick church. + +Mrs. Marlow threw a swift glance over her shoulder, fearing her other +guests, who were following, might have heard. "Hush, Jimmy," she said. +"It sounds so bad. Never say that again, especially before the servants. +The rector's housemaid is sister to my parlour-maid, and it would be +sure to get round to him. Of course, I know you have been in wild places +where there were no churches, and we understand, but others might not. +And all our friends are Church-people." + +Jimmy dropped the subject, and a few minutes later he was following her +rustling skirts up the broad centre aisle to the pew four rows back from +the pulpit. He wished it had not been so far forward, because the +worshippers interested him, if only by reason of their sameness of type. +You could see they were all people of position, with regular incomes and +hereditary political convictions, solid people of that slow-moving, +tenacious class which is the real backbone of the country, holding, as +it does, the greater part of the wealth, and producing, often by a kind +of apparent accident, the greater part of the intellect. + +Jimmy belonged to them by birth, and yet, as he sat amongst them, +listening to the lisping voice of the senior curate, he found it hard to +realise the fact. He tried his best to follow the service, to keep his +mind on it, but, somehow, the whole atmosphere seemed wrong. The church +was a modern one, the work of a famous architect, and, therefore, +grossly inartistic, lacking every feature which makes for solemnity and +beauty. The detail was coarse and roughly finished, the red-brick walls, +as always, an offence to the eye; big texts seemed to squirm, like +semi-paralysed eels, over the chancel arch and round the East window. +The latter, off which Jimmy could hardly take his eyes, was a veritable +triumph of the Victorian tradition. Its colouring was gruesome, its +design grotesque; and yet it was a source of great pride to the +congregation as a whole, having been put in to the memory of a banker +who had left nearly a million. They no more dreamed of doubting its +artistic merits than they did of questioning the religion it was +supposed in some vague way to typify. + +The singing was good, the sermon grammatical and well delivered, and yet +Jimmy left the church with a feeling of dissatisfaction. He had expected +that this, his first service in England after ten years, would have +carried him back to the days when he knew nothing of the Tree of +Knowledge; but, instead of that, it had made no appeal to him. Its +poetry was destroyed by the hideousness of the surroundings; whilst even +the glorious words of the Benediction seemed but a perfunctory +dismissal, giving the congregation leave to hasten away to the heavy +dinners which were awaiting it at home. + +He was very silent on his way back, thinking of the past, and he was +only recalled to the present when May, seeing him producing his +cigarette case, thought it time to speak. + +"Jimmy," she said, rather severely, "it is hardly correct to smoke on +your way home from church. People notice that sort of thing so much." + +Her brother coloured, and thrust the case back into his pocket. A minute +later, he heard his sister's name spoken, and a tall, well-dressed woman +hurried up from behind. + +"I have been trying to overtake you for the last five minutes, May," she +said. "Only you have been walking as if you were very, very hungry," +then, disregarding Mrs. Marlow's little snort of annoyance, she turned +to Jimmy, "Don't you remember me, Jimmy--Mr. Grierson I suppose I ought +to say--I'm Ethel Grimmer, Ethel Jardine that was." + +Jimmy laughed and took the outstretched hand. + +"Of course I remember you now; but when I saw you in church where I +could only catch your profile obliquely, I was not quite sure who you +were. I didn't know you lived down here." + +Mrs. Grimmer laughed too, but mentally she registered another grievance +against May. So this Jimmy Grierson, who dressed quite decently after +all, and had a distinctly interesting face, was to be kept in the +background. + +"I suppose you and May have found so much to talk about," she said. "I'm +sure you must, after being apart all these years, and you have such a +lot to tell." She was a handsome woman with fine eyes, and she knew how +to use them. "When May has done with you, or rather when she can spare +you for an hour or two, you must come and see us--Jimmy." She blushed a +little. "When will you let him come, May? How would dinner on Tuesday +do? I know you and Henry are going to the Foulgers' that night, and this +poor boy will be alone." + +May bit her lip to repress an exclamation of annoyance. She did not want +Jimmy to go to the Grimmers', but it was impossible to deny the +engagement with the Foulgers, and equally impossible to say that Jimmy +was going there with her--Ethel Grimmer knew how many people the Foulger +dining table would seat; so she gave in, and Jimmy arranged to go, +showing rather more eagerness over his acceptance than May considered +necessary. Indeed, she remarked so much to her husband whilst she was +taking off her hat; then a sudden thought struck her, and she paused, +with her fingers still grasping a half-withdrawn hatpin. + +"Henry, do you remember what a silly fuss Ethel used to make over Jimmy, +just before he went abroad, how they used to go cycling together. Of +course, she's years older than he is, but still----" + +Marlow nodded solemnly; he had never really liked the Grimmers, and he +knew that, several times lately, Ethel had gone out of her way to annoy +his wife, whilst Grimmer himself had behaved like a fool over the Gold +Dredging Company, actually hinting that, because they knew each other +socially, he ought to have been warned when the thing was going wrong. +As if sentiment of that sort could be allowed to intrude on business. +Billy Grimmer had been in the City over twenty years, and it was quite +time he knew its ways. + +"Ethel is a vain, flighty woman," Marlow said, in reply to his wife's +remark. "She likes to have young men like Jimmy trailing after her; and +Grimmer only laughs. I suppose it's what they call being 'smart.' Pity +he doesn't put a little more smartness into his business affairs." He +chuckled slightly at the recollection of the dredging shares, which had +been some of those he, himself, had received as vendor. "Still, Jimmy +is old enough to take care of himself now," he went on, "and, after +all, he will be going back to town a day or two later." + +But May shook her head. "I must warn him not to talk too much--he seems +terribly indiscreet--and I think I shall give him a plain hint about +falling in love, and so on. From what Ethel said the other day, she is +quite capable of getting some silly girls with money to meet him." + +Meanwhile, Jimmy was staring out of the window of the billiard-room, and +smiling a little grimly at the memories which his meeting with Mrs. +Grimmer had reawakened. They had been very great friends in his +Sandhurst days, although she was several years his senior; and, for a +month or two after his departure from England, he had slept with her +photo under his pillow, and tried to imagine her warm farewell kisses on +his lips; and then, somehow, the photo had got mislaid, and the other +recollections had begun to lose their actuality, and when, a year later, +he had received the news of her engagement, he had written her a hearty, +and perfectly sincere, letter of congratulation. It would be distinctly +amusing to meet her under the new conditions, and see how much she was +disposed to remember. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + + +On Tuesday morning Jimmy opened the _Record_ as usual at page 4, and the +first thing that caught his eye was his own article. He glanced down it +quickly, with an unusual sense of exaltation: never before had anything +of his appeared in a great London daily; and the _Record's_ circulation +ran to a considerable fraction of a million. There was no one with him +to whom he could show it; but he was passing an hotel, the "Railway +Tavern," and he turned in at the door, to celebrate his luck, and read +his work through quietly. + +The barmaid, who was polishing her spirit measures, looked at him +curiously. "You seem mighty pleased about something," she said at last, +perhaps a little resentfully, as though feeling that her own rather, +full-blown charms deserved more attention than the paper. + +Jimmy glanced up with a smile. "There's an article of mine here," he +said, holding out the sheet. + +The girl knit her brow and spelled out the heading. "My! Is that your +writing? What's it all about. Anything spicy?" But, though she was +regarding him with more interest than before, she made no attempt to +read his work. + +Jimmy finished his drink and folded up the paper. Somehow, at the second +reading, it had not seemed so good. There were at least two clumsy +sentences, and the fool of a printer had chopped out half a dozen +commas. He could see now where he could have made several improvements, +and he had little doubt that Dodgson would see too, and, perhaps, reckon +him a careless workman. He had yet to learn how much, or how little, the +public recks of either grammar or punctuation, how it prefers +semi-truths tempered by split infinitives to facts stated in balanced +prose. + +As he came out of the hotel, his mind was full of the career which +seemed to lie ahead of him, and he did not notice Laura Marlow walking +up the other side of the road; but Miss Marlow saw him, saw too where he +had been, and duly reported the fact to May when she returned to the +house. + +Jimmy found his sister in her boudoir, busy with her tradesmen's books, +searching for the errors which certainly would have been there had the +butcher and the baker and the grocer not learned long since that Mrs. +Marlow was in the habit of checking her accounts, a habit which they +viewed with a mixture of scorn and wrath, tempered by not a little fear. +They regarded her much as a municipal politician regards a chartered +accountant; but they knew it was useless to add up two and five as +eight, or to charge for fresh butter when cooking butter had been +ordered. May allowed no one to rob her husband, even of a halfpenny. +They called her a hard woman, and said many bitter things about her as +they foregathered outside the chapel after service; but, none the less, +they supplied her with far better goods than those they sent to Mrs. +Grimmer, who paid her bills spasmodically, without attempting to check +them. + +May glanced at the paper her brother held out, but she did not attempt +to take it. "I will read it by and by, when I've time," she said; then +she noticed his name below the heading and frowned. "I thought you were +going to write under an assumed name," she added. + +Jimmy coloured slightly. "I've changed my mind," he said, rather +shortly. "I don't see why I should disguise myself. It's nothing to be +ashamed of, as you'll see if you read it." + +His sister sighed and picked up her pencil again. "I must get on with +these tiresome tradesmen's books. Oh, don't leave that paper there, +Jimmy." He had put it down on the table. "There's so much litter about +already. I'll ask you for it later." + +Jimmy picked up the _Record_ again and left the room without another +word. His sister's apparent lack of interest hurt him more than he cared +to acknowledge, even to himself; and his sense of grievance deepened as +the day went by without her making any other reference to his article. +Yet, after lunch, she found time to put in an hour studying a children's +fashion paper with the greatest attention. He had the cutting from the +_Record_ in his pocket-book, ready for her or any of the other guests to +see, but it remained there until the evening, and when he dressed to go +to the Grimmers' he left it behind deliberately. He was not going to +risk another snub. + +On entering the Grimmer drawing-room, however, Ethel met him with a copy +of the paper in her hand. + +"Billy just brought this home from town," she said. "A man showed it to +him in the train. I like it very much indeed, and so does my husband." +She paused and gave a little laugh. "It's awfully nice of you to come, +Jimmy, and--and, not be jealous or anything silly. Still, that was all +years ago, wasn't it?" + +"You look just the same," he answered, smiling back at her. + +She laughed again, flattered, and yet relieved at his tone--some men do +remember such a stupidly long time, and she had half feared lest her +guest might be one of them. "Now you are being silly," she answered, +lightly. "I am sure May wouldn't approve of that. But I know you're +going to be good, and, as a reward, I've got two very nice girls for you +to meet. Ah, here's Billy." Then she introduced the two men, adding, +"Billy knows all about you already." + +The nice girls proved to be respectively Miss Farlow, the daughter of +the rector, and Miss Barton, whose mother had a large house next to that +of the Marlows, for whom she entertained that measure of good will which +usually exists between near neighbours; but, none the less, she was very +pleasant to Jimmy, knowing nothing of his financial position. Young men +were by no means plentiful in the neighbourhood. + +The rector, too, was pleasant, for very similar reasons, although, as a +matter of fact, he was affable to all his parishioners and their +relatives. There were no poor amongst his flock, no self-evident black +sheep, and, consequently, he was able to know every member of his +congregation socially, which, as he was never tired of repeating, was +most comforting to a conscientious man. + +Mrs. Grimmer, having secured Jimmy, did not mean to allow his light to +remain hidden, as May apparently intended it should be; consequently, +dinner had scarcely begun before she started to draw him out +scientifically, and, after the dullness of the last few days, her guest +was not loath to talk. He was always interesting, but this time he was +almost brilliant; and when Ethel gave the signal to the other ladies, +she left the room feeling that she had scored greatly over Mrs. Marlow, +who would now have to explain why she had kept this distinctly +interesting brother in the background. Grimmer, too, was pleased, +foreseeing a chance of annoying Marlow in the train by bringing up the +subject of Jimmy's adventures. + +Ethel managed to keep her guest until the others had gone, and even then +she did not seem inclined to let him go. + +"Stay and have a whisky and soda and another cigar with Billy. I know +you would like one, and I'm quite sure it won't hurt that fat butler of +May's to sit up an extra half-hour to let you in. I don't suppose May +has given you a latchkey." + +Jimmy shook his head at the latter suggestion, then followed her into +the smoking-room. + +"I think I shall have a cigarette, too, Billy," she said to her husband, +after she had settled her rather elaborate draperies into a big leather +chair, "only you mustn't tell May, Jimmy. I am quite sure she never +smoked. I didn't myself until this husband of mine taught me." She took +a few whiffs, then, "Which did you like best?" she asked, suddenly. +"Mary Barton will have the most money; but Vera Farlow is the better +looking, and, they say, her father will probably be a bishop some day. +You see, he has private means, and married an earl's granddaughter." + +Her guest parried the question, a little awkwardly; whereupon Mrs. +Grimmer, seeing his embarrassment, let the matter drop, and went on to +ask about his plans for the future. "I wonder you don't live with some +of your own people," she said, when he told her of his intention to take +rooms. "But, still, I suppose it would be dull for you. What do you say, +Billy?... You must come down here for a week-end as soon as you can find +time." + +It was an hour later when Jimmy left; and the fat butler had already +finished the bottle of port and gone to sleep, with the result that only +at the third ringing of the bell did he awaken and stumble upstairs to +the front door. Jimmy was feeling more than ever disappointed at the +attitude of his own people, more than ever ready to disregard both their +wishes and their advice. After all, Ethel Grimmer had far more brains +and sympathy than May; whilst Grimmer, though not over-brilliant, was +more interesting than Henry Marlow. He woke up next morning with his +sense of grievance still unabated; and his disappointment changed to +something very like anger when May called him into her boudoir after +breakfast, and proceeded to cross-examine him as to whom he had met at +the Grimmers'. + +"I hope you will remember these people are all our friends, even more +than they are Ethel's, Jimmy," she said severely, "and I trust you will +not let Ethel fill your head with her own silly ideas about getting +married and so on. Both Mrs. Barton and Mrs. Farlow will only allow +their girls to marry men of means and position." + +"And you mean that I have neither." Her brother laughed bitterly. "Good +heavens, May, do you think I came home to get married, and live on a +stodgy father-in-law? I've got plenty of other things to think about." +But although he brushed the matter aside scornfully, May's words +remained in his memory. Only men of means and position were wanted in +their circle. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + + +Jimmy's original intention had been to take a couple of rooms of which +Douglas Kelly had told him. They were somewhere in that queer maze of +little streets and courts which lies at the back of Fleet Street, and +would have suited him admirably. But May had objected strongly to the +idea. No one they knew had ever dwelt in such a quarter; and both she +and Henry agreed that it was not the thing for any young man, especially +for a young man of Jimmy's temperament, to live in a place where nobody +would know what he was doing, or what hours he kept. So she had written +to a former maid of hers, who had married and settled in a South London +suburb, and arranged for her to board and lodge Jimmy for a fixed weekly +sum. + +Jimmy had given in reluctantly, though he had not shown his reluctance +openly. Abroad, he had gone his own way, doing just as it seemed good to +him; but in England it was different. He was not afraid of his own +people; but he was anxious not to shock them in any way; and, at the +same time, contact with them had brought back much of his respect for +those conventions which had governed his boyhood. He was a Bohemian by +habit, and largely so by nature, yet when he was amongst those who lived +settled lives their influence and example seemed to revive some latent +instinct of staid respectability within himself, and, to a certain +extent, he came to see things with their eyes. True, the phase passed +quickly, so quickly that often during the ensuing months his own people +wondered whether he were not a hypocrite. They were used to men with +fixed temperaments, men you could rely upon to maintain a suitable +standard of propriety. The other kinds they ignored socially, as they +certainly would have ignored Jimmy, had he not been of their own blood; +but they belonged to a class which reckons family as second only to +property, which, though it may quarrel with its relations, always +remembers the relationship, and the sacred right of interference which +relationship gives. + +Jimmy's new lodgings were half an hour's journey from the City. You +reached them by means of an uncleanly train, whose driver seemed to be +perpetually on the look-out for an excuse to stop with a jolt. You got +out--usually ten minutes late--at a smoke-grimed station, and emerged +into a wide thoroughfare, lined on either side with shops of the +margarine-and-spot-cash variety, and horrible with the screeching and +rattling of gigantic municipal trams, which appeared to run solely for +the pleasure of the motorman and conductor. The third turning on the +right and then the second on the left brought you to Mrs. Benn's house, +semidetached and severe looking, with heavy curtains and a brass plate +on a front door bearing the single word "Apartments." + +Jimmy groaned inwardly as the cab drew up at the little iron gate, and +he wished, once more, that he had not given way to his sister. A band, +obviously the product of a happy and musical Fatherland, was just +packing up its music stands some fifty yards lower down the street; +whilst, as he mounted the steps of the house, two Dagos appeared round +the next corner, trundling a piano organ, on the top of which was seated +what was apparently a small and long-tailed relative of their own. His +rooms, however--two on the first floor--though small, were quite +cheerful for their kind, whilst the meat tea, which the landlady +presently brought up, was distinctly promising. + +He had no stuff of his own, beyond the clothes in his trunks, not even a +book or a photograph; and during his wandering days the lack of such +things had never struck him; but now he found himself registering a +mental vow to buy some pictures as soon as possible, if only to have an +excuse for banishing the German reproductions of mid-Victorian art +which disfigured the walls of his sitting-room. The painters of the +originals had all borne great names, or at least had been accounted +great in their generation; but as he sat smoking after tea, and staring +at these glazed abominations, he wondered who had been the greater +sinner, the English artist or the Teutonic engraver; probably the +former, he told himself, for, after all, the latter had only spoiled +what detail there might have been; he had copied the smugness and the +false sentiment, perhaps rejoiced in them as being essentially the +products of Teutonic thought, but it had been the Englishman who had put +that smugness on to the canvas in the first case. + +Unfortunately, it was easier to want new pictures than to get them, even +though they might cost but a few shillings apiece. Jimmy's total capital +amounted to a bare fifteen pounds, and his means of subsistence so far +appeared to consist of the introduction to Dodgson of the _Record_. Not +that the fact troubled him greatly. A more sanguine man would have been +haunted by the fear of his money giving out before any earnest of future +success came to him; a less experienced man would never have dreamed of +making the attempt at all; but Jimmy was used to being hard pressed for +cash, and had learnt in a rough school not to expect very much. He was +used to drifting, and, in any case, he had practically nothing to lose. + +On the first morning Jimmy went out to have a look at the neighbourhood, +but after an hour's walk he had seen enough to kill any desire he might +have felt for further exploration. The whole district was prosaic and +unlovely, saturated with the spirit of municipal government. There were +rows and rows of jerry-built houses running at right angles to the High +Street, houses with small rooms and big rates, occupied by tired-looking +men who hurried to the station about half-past eight every morning, and +did not get back again till after seven in the evening, when you would +meet them walking homewards rather slowly, shuffling a little perhaps, +as overworked clerks are prone to do, and still carrying the halfpenny +paper which they had bought on their way to town. They had read every +word in it, and their wives would be too busy, or too worn-out, to give +it a glance; but still it had a value as fire-lighting material. +Halfpennies were not negligible factors in those desirable villa +residences. You could see that when the women folk went out to do their +morning shopping. Some of them were flashily-smart, some, most perhaps, +drab and weary like their husbands; but all had to pay cash to those +prosperous tradesmen in the High Street, every one of whom looked like +a councillor, or, at the very least, a guardian, having the air of +growing rich at the expense of the multitude. + +There seemed to be a council school, aggressive in its hideousness, up +every second side street; the grinding whirr of the municipal trams was +always in your ears, to remind you of the poverty of the neighbourhood +in case our eyes should play you false, that worst form of poverty which +has to wear a decent black suit and possesses the mockery of a vote; +whilst the only alternative to the pavements--laid by a +councillor-contractor, and kept in repair by means of a special +rate--was the recreation ground, in which a plethoric and guardian-like +official spent his days in keeping the embryo ratepayers off the +sacrosanct municipal grass. You felt you were in the clutch of a +horrible machine, or rather of two machines, unallied perhaps, yet very +similar in operation, for both took as much as possible and grudged +giving anything in return. From nine till six you were part of the +mechanism of the City, wearing yourself out for the bare means of +subsistence, often without the slightest hope of further advancement, +always with the dread of dismissal as soon as your hair began to turn +grey, when a younger, cheaper man, or a German volunteer, would take +your place. There was nothing in the present, save the eternal +necessity for economy; nothing in the future, save the fear of +unemployment. At night, you returned home, to be gripped by the +municipal Frankenstein's monster, which you and your fellows had helped +to make. You were never free man, you never could be free; because in +London the price of freedom is usually starvation for your children and +prison for yourself, if you cannot satisfy the demands of the "Guardians +of the Poor." + +Jimmy smiled grimly to himself as he noted the new Town Hall. He had met +a good many robber-politicians during his wanderings in the Dago +Republics; but all of them had, at least, the saving grace of frankness. +The aim and end of their policy was to arrive safely in Paris, with the +contents of the national treasury as their baggage. They did not hunger +after honours, such as knighthoods, or aspire to speak at Sunday +afternoon gathering in pseudo-places of worship. Certainly, they told a +number of flamboyant falsehoods before getting into office, but that was +the only respect in which they copied civilised political methods; and +they did run a risk from which their English counterparts would have +shrunk in a cold sweat of fear. The price of failure was death. + +The one tour of inspection satisfied Jimmy. He saw the tragedy +underlying the lives of these people, saw it far more clearly, perhaps, +than they did themselves, for he had known so many other phases, whilst +they were inured to the drab monotony, most had been born to it, and so +its full meaning was mercifully hidden from them. They would have waxed +wrath at hearing it called a poor locality, in fact it was not one, +being eminently respectable, as any house agent could tell you. Why, the +late mayor, who died during his third term of office, had left nearly a +hundred thousand pounds. + +For three days Jimmy wrote steadily, doing no less than five articles of +the type which the _Record_ had accepted. One he sent to Dodgson, the +others to papers which Douglas Kelly had mentioned, and then, suddenly, +inspiration seemed to fail him. He could not write a line, could not +even think of a subject; and, for a whole day, he felt something nearly +akin to dismay. If his ideas ran out as quickly as this his prospects +were small indeed; and when the postman brought back two of his +manuscripts, with printed slips conveying the editor's thanks and +regrets, he began to curse his own folly in ever coming home. + +That evening, the craving for companionship he had felt in the hotel the +night he landed came back to him again. He had spoken to no one, save +his landlady, for the better part of a week, and the loneliness seemed +unbearable. He sent his supper away, practically untasted, then, without +giving Mrs. Benn a chance to come up and comment on the smallness of his +appetite, took his hat and went out. + +It was Early Closing Day, and the High Street was thronged, mainly with +the liberated shop assistants. Jimmy walked slowly, and, owing perhaps +to that fact, he got more than one glance, encouraging him to begin an +acquaintance with young ladies in cheap and showy raiment. But none of +them made the slightest appeal to him. He had no taste for an insipid +flirtation with a girl who would probably play havoc with the aspirates. +He had met many women far less innocent than these, and there had been +more than one passage in his life which he did not recall with pride; +and yet, withal, he was still fastidious where women were concerned. The +only one who had interested him since his return home was the girl whom +he had seen entering the cab in the Strand. Somehow, her face remained +fixed in his memory, and many times since that evening he had found +himself wondering who she was, what her story could be. + +He walked down to the bottom of the High Street, to where the trams +swerved round a corner with a whirr and a jolt into the domain of the +next borough council. There was a large public house at that point, with +much brass work and mahogany about its swing doors, and he turned in, +not so much because he wanted anything to drink, but because it seemed +the obvious alternative to the dreariness of his own rooms or the +boredom of the street. + +The presiding deity welcomed him with the smile she reserved for new +customers. Trade was not very brisk in the saloon bar--there were eight +other licensed houses in the street--and she tossed her peroxide-dyed +curls and flashed her new teeth at him as she poured out his whisky. + +"You look pretty doleful about something," she remarked. + +Jimmy laughed. "I was till I came in here." Then he began to chat to +her, about nothing in particular, and somehow the time passed so quickly +that it was closing time before he took his leave. She had not +interested him in the least; but she was someone to talk to, and the +five or six drinks he had taken had cheered him up temporarily. It was +only when he got out into the now-emptying street that he remembered +that he had not got a latchkey. + +Mrs. Benn was sitting up for him, and received him with a rather sour +face. + +"I didn't know you was going to be late, sir," she said severely. "Mrs. +Marlow wrote that you would always be in in good time." + +Jimmy muttered an apology and took his candle. On the top stair of the +first flight he caught his foot in a loose piece of carpet, and +stumbled, dropping the candlestick, which broke off at the base. In +silence, Mrs. Benn fetched another, and handed it to him with an air of +resignation, then, "You'll be sure and put it out safe, sir," she said. + +Jimmy saw what was in her mind, and laughed, though there was a note of +annoyance in his voice as he attempted to reassure her; but his +annoyance would have changed to wrath had he known that the early post +next morning carried a letter to May describing how he returned home the +worse for liquor. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + + +The morning post consisted of a manuscript returned from the _Daily +Herald_. Jimmy tossed the package on to the side table, with an +exclamation of disgust, not even troubling to ascertain if there were +any enclosure beyond the ordinary printed slip. Then, suddenly, he +decided to go up to town to see if he could find Douglas Kelly. + +"Will you be late again, sir?" Mrs. Benn asked, severely. + +"I think not," Jimmy answered, then, remembering his former experience +with Kelly, he added, "still you might let me have a latchkey on the +chance. I meant to have asked you for one before." + +Mrs. Benn sighed, fumbled in a pocket, took a key off her own bunch, and +handed it to her lodger with an air of resignation. + +"Mrs. Marlow said as you would always be in early." She repeated her +remark of the previous evening. "But if you are going to be late, sir, I +must ask you to be very careful with the candle. One does read of such +awful things, folks burnt in their beds. I'm sure I'm afraid to look at +the papers in these days." + +Jimmy tried to laugh, but the sound spoke of irritation rather than of +amusement. "I don't think you need be afraid of me, Mrs. Benn, though I +did twist my ankle on that loose piece of carpet last night." + +The landlady sniffed, and descended to the basement, where she relieved +her feelings, and conveyed a moral lesson, by smacking the head of her +youngest son, who was not wearing his Band of Hope ribbon. + +"Poor children, can't they keep sober without joining a temperance +society?" a young lady lodger had once said, with a show of sympathy, +and since then the badges had not been greatly in evidence; but now they +should be brought out again as a rebuke to Mrs. Marlow's brother. + +Jimmy went to the club which he knew Kelly used most, but the journalist +was not there. The waiter on duty surveyed the caller critically through +a window, then, having grown grey and wise in the ways of literary men, +he decided that Jimmy was not a creditor, and volunteered some +information. "Mr. Kelly's not been in yet, sir; but he's sure to come to +get his letters. So you might call again." + +Jimmy strolled about until two o'clock--he was not of the kind which +calls just before lunch-time--then went back to the club. + +"Not in yet, sir," the waiter said. "But he may come about four o'clock +for a cup of tea. He usually does, if he's in town." + +Jimmy sighed. He was sick of waiting about; but he craved for the +society of someone he knew, and the idea of going back to spend the rest +of the day in those suburban lodgings seemed intolerable. So he decided +to wait, and walked down the narrow side street into the Strand, and +thence westwards, in more or less aimless fashion. He had never known +town sufficiently well to note the changes which the last ten years had +brought; possibly, they would not have interested him greatly in any +case, for he was a Londoner by birth, and the true Londoner looks at the +people and ignores the buildings. + +He walked slowly, up to Piccadilly Circus, and thence along Regent +Street to Oxford Circus, where he turned eastwards again. + +"Are you saved?" A tall gaunt man, in shabby clerical costume and black +woollen gloves, whispered the words in his ear, endeavoured to thrust a +tract into his hand, then hurried on towards the Circus. Jimmy looked +round quickly to see him repeat the process with an obviously astonished +German, then forgot all about the crank and his ways, for, coming up +behind him, clad just as she had been the night he saw her getting into +the cab in the Strand, was the tall girl whose face had been haunting +his memory. + +Jimmy turned aside quickly and stared into a shop whilst she was +passing, then started to follow her at a little distance, not with the +least idea of making her acquaintance, but because some curious instinct +seemed to compel him to do so. She was walking rather fast, holding her +head erect, and looking neither to the right nor to the left; and, a +moment later, Jimmy saw the reason, for, just behind her, obviously +dogging her steps, was a great, overdressed African native, typical of +those who are sent by scores to England, to have a so-called education +wasted on them, sensual and lickerous savages, who may be quite +admirable as carriers in the West Coast jungles, but are wholly +abominable when allowed loose in the streets of London. + +In common with every sane Englishman who has travelled, Jimmy had no +illusions left on the colour question. To him, the bare idea of a +coloured man speaking to a white woman was horrible, and here was the +worst form of coloured man, the son of the cannibal and the +devil-worshipper, trying to force himself on a white girl. Jimmy went +hot suddenly, a woman who was passing gave a little gasp as she saw the +look in his eyes; then he quickened his pace to catch up the two in +front, coming behind them in time to see the native deliberately jostle +the girl, then raise his glossy silk hat with a lascivious smile and +begin an apology. With flaming cheeks, the girl turned quickly, coming +face to face with Jimmy; but her persecutor's blood was up, and he +followed, still hat in hand. In a moment, Jimmy saw red, and, almost +before he knew what he was doing, he had caught the other on the point +of the jaw with his fist. The black man staggered, but recovered +himself, and for an instant it looked as though he were going to show +fight; but his colour told, and he looked round for a line of retreat, +just as a policeman, seeing the rapidly-gathering knot of spectators, +came up to investigate. + +Jimmy, white-faced and fierce-eyed, listened in contemptuous silence +whilst the coloured man was giving his version, which was corroborated +by a rather long-haired person with a small white tie, who professed to +have seen the incident. + +"This person"--he indicated Jimmy with a wave of a podgy hand--"this +person struck the dark gentleman a most cruel blow, entirely unprovoked. +I shall be most happy to give evidence," and he produced a card, a +printed one, stating that he was the Rev. Silas Lark, whilst the +address indicated that his business was the conversion of the heathen. + +The constable gave him a keen look, and took the slip of pasteboard +rather doubtfully. "I see," he said, then he turned to Jimmy. "What have +you got to say to it all, sir?" + +Jimmy told his story in a few words, then he glanced round to where the +girl had been standing; but, with a mingled sense of disappointment and +relief, he saw that she had slipped away. "I don't want to bring the +lady's name into it, of course," he added, as he gave his own name and +address. + +"Now, then, move on there." The constable closed his notebook and +dispersed the little crowd; then he turned to Jimmy again, "I don't +expect you'll hear any more of this, sir. We've had one or two +complaints about that black man and his friends, and as for the Reverend +Mr. Silas," he smiled, grimly, "we've been told to watch him as a +pickpocket." He glanced at Jimmy again. "You look as if you've come from +abroad, sir, or else I shouldn't have told you so much. Take it from me, +Oxford Street is just alive with wrong 'uns in the afternoon, women as +well as men." Then he drew himself up, and went on to superintend the +raising of a fallen cab-horse, which served also to draw off the few who +were still staring at Jimmy. He was looking for the tall girl; and, a +moment later, he was rewarded by seeing her coming out of a tea-shop +with a paper-bag in her hand. She gave him a frank little smile of +recognition, and, emboldened, he raised his hat and went up to her. + +"Thank you so much," she said. "I--I hope there won't be trouble for +you. I couldn't be in it, you see, so I slipped in there on the excuse +of buying a bun." + +"Oh, it'll be all right," Jimmy answered lightly. "I don't mind paying a +fine for the pleasure of teaching a nigger manners," then, seeing she +looked tired and upset, he asked suddenly, "Will you come and have some +tea in here?" indicating a large restaurant they were passing. + +The girl nodded. "Thank you. I should like some," she answered simply. +Her voice was sweet and refined, and, seeing her closely, Jimmy found +that she was even better-looking than he had imagined, whilst her +carriage was perfection. + +Nothing more was said until they were seated at one of the little tables +in the palm court, then, suddenly, "Oh, how I loathe those black men." +She brought the words out with a little shudder. "There are three or +four of them haunt Oxford Street." + +"Are you often about town?" Jimmy asked. She looked at him with a kind +of grave surprise; then she turned away as she answered, "I am always +about town. I have to be. You understand?" Her voice was very low, but +the words were perfectly distinct. + +Unconsciously, Jimmy twisted his gloves in his two hands so fiercely +that one of them tore nearly in half. The daylight seemed to have gone +suddenly, leaving the gilding of the place dull and heavy. He +understood. Her words had killed all the romance of their meeting; yet, +when he looked at her again, he could hardly believe she was speaking +the truth. + +The waiter brought the tea, and she poured it out, with far more grace +of manner and movement than Mrs. Marlow would have shown. Moreover, she +made no affectation about not wanting the dainty little sandwiches and +cakes. "They are so delicious that I feel it's a sin to leave them," she +said, when he declared he would have no more. + +"What is your name?" he asked abruptly, breaking what had been rather a +long silence. She was dusting some minute crumbs off her dress, and she +answered without looking up, "Penrose, Lalage Penrose." + +She did not ask for his name, but he volunteered it; then, "May I come +and see you?" he added. + +The girl hesitated a moment. "Why not?" she asked at last, but she +flushed at her own words, and her hand was unsteady as she wrote down +the address, which was one of a block of flats near Baker Street. + +"Can I come to-morrow afternoon?" + +She nodded and got up. At the entrance of the restaurant she stopped and +held out her hand. "Good-bye, and thank you." + +"It's only _au revoir_, isn't it?" he answered, as he raised his hat, +then without looking back, for fear she would think he was watching her, +he walked away rapidly, his feelings a mixture of elation and of +something very nearly akin to misery. + +Douglas Kelly was in when Jimmy called again at the club. "The waiter +gave me your card and I supposed you would come along soon. You look a +bit doleful. What are you going to drink?... That was a good article of +yours in the _Whitehall Gazette_ this evening." + +Jimmy set his glass down suddenly. "I haven't seen it; in fact, I was +expecting to find the manuscript waiting for me when I got back." + +Kelly laughed. "So that's the reason of the dumps? The postman drops 'em +through the letter-box with a kind of sickening thud, and you feel +there's nothing left to live for, unless it's to kill the editor. I went +through it all, until I made 'em understand they must have my signature +at my own price. Still, you haven't done so badly in the few days you've +been home. Dodgson tells me they've got another article of yours in +type. Here, Romsey," he hailed a man who had just come in, whose face +somehow seemed familiar to Jimmy, "I want to introduce you to an old +colleague of mine, Grierson, who is going to knock spots out of you +all." + +The new-comer grinned. "I've seen him knocking spots out a nigger in +Oxford Street already. It'll be in the next edition of the _Evening +Post_, 'Outrageous assault on an African Prince.' I happened to be +passing and got seven shillings-worth of copy out of it," he added, +turning to Jimmy. "I left your name out, though. But, you see, the +_Evening Post_ believes in a man and a brother, and sacks its boys if it +finds they have been vaccinated; so the story exactly suited them. The +Prince, too, has just sold the gold-mining rights of his native swamp, +and has held a reception in Exeter Hall, so he in himself was good stuff +for us." Then he gave Kelly a moderately truthful account of what had +occurred. + +Kelly did not laugh. "It won't go down here, Jimmy, that sort of thing. +Of course you were right; it's an abominable scandal to let these +niggers loose; but at home people'll never understand it. If your name +were to come out, you would be done, right away. And," he looked at him +keenly, "your lady friends should know better than to be alone in that +part of Oxford Street. Well, Romsey, are you going to pay for the drinks +out of your seven shillings, or am I? Then I'm going to put Jimmy up for +the club, and you can second him." + + + + +CHAPTER IX + + +That day Jimmy did not go back to his lodgings. Instead, he sent a wire +to Mrs. Benn, and went to dine and spend the night with the Kellys, +although he did not get away from the club until he had been introduced +to a score of journalists to whom his host described him as an old +colleague. As a result they were an hour late for dinner when they +reached the flat. + +"It doesn't matter; my wife won't mind," Kelly remarked cheerfully as +they went up in the lift, and, a few moments later, when he met Mrs. +Kelly Jimmy saw that her husband was speaking the truth. + +Dora Kelly was a pretty, thrifty little woman, with a mass of rather +untidy fair hair. She was still in the tea-gown which, apparently, she +had been wearing all the day, whilst her foot-gear consisted of a pair +of Japanese slippers; and yet the whole effect was charming, possibly +because she was entirely unaffected and obviously happy. The flat +reflected the character of its mistress. It was full of good things, all +in wonderful disarray. Even the drawing-room had an air of having +undergone a strenuous straightening up a month previously, since which +event it had not been touched again. + +"Dinner won't be long, Douglas," Mrs. Kelly said. "But the cook went out +at four o'clock and hasn't come in yet; I'm afraid she must have got +drunk again; so I borrowed the Harmers' servant," she turned to Jimmy. +"Servants are such a nuisance, Mr. Grierson, yet one daren't discharge +them, and our cook is a treasure when she's sober. Douglas says you live +in lodgings in some suburb, so you don't have those worries, I suppose. +Here it's dreadful." She shook her head dolefully; but a moment later +she was smiling again and chattering gaily about her own experiences in +lodgings. She had been on the Press herself prior to her marriage, and +she knew, only too well, the ways of the London landlady. + +If he had not chanced to saunter up Oxford Street that afternoon Jimmy +would have enjoyed immensely his dinner and the long talk which followed +it. He had been craving for the society of his own kind; yet now he had +got it it did not seem such a very great thing after all; for Lalage +Penrose had come into his life, and the thought of her was uppermost in +his mind. Even whilst he was talking over old times with Kelly, or +listening to Dora Kelly's laughing descriptions of the struggles of +their early married life, he was wondering how Lalage was spending the +evening, and the thought was making him sick at heart. Mentally, he +cursed himself for a fool, and tried hard to put the memory away from +him; but it was an effort all the time; and when Kelly finally allowed +him to go to bed, long after midnight, he shut his door with a sigh of +relief. But he did not undress. Instead, he sat in a big armchair, +staring into the fire, which, having been lighted by the borrowed +servant just before she left, a full three hours previously, had now +died down to a red glow. + +He was a fool, and he knew it. The stronger part of his nature, that +which came of the alien streak in his father, warned him of the danger +of thinking seriously of chance female acquaintances, told him that no +man of the world ever did so; whilst to the Grierson strain in him +anything in the way of an intrigue was an unpardonable offence against +the canons of respectability. Douglas Kelly, the Bohemian, and Walter +Grierson, the city man, would both have called him mad, agreeing on this +point, if on none other; for they would argue that only a madman could +feel that he had any regard for a strange girl, who, by her own showing, +was without the pale. Suddenly he resolved to have no more to do with +Lalage. He would destroy her address, avoid those parts of the town +where he might possibly see her, drop the acquaintance before it went +any further. + +He got up suddenly, took the slip of paper Lalage had given him out of +his pocket, and stood staring at words on it. It was well-written, in +the hand of an educated girl; but there was a shakiness in it which +suddenly destroyed all his wise resolutions, making an irresistible +appeal to his chivalry. After all, he himself, if not actually an +outcast, was one of life's failures. He had touched bed-rock, more than +once, and he knew too much of the bitterness of life to judge either man +or woman harshly. It is only those who have never suffered who show no +mercy to others. + +What was it that American girl had said to him in Iquique, when she +insisted on lending him one hundred dollars, the time he was absolutely +penniless and too weak from fever to refuse? "The best thanks you can +give me, Jimmy, will be to help another girl if you ever get the +chance." He had returned the money a couple of months later, and he had +neither seen nor heard of her again; but the memory of her words had +remained, and now he seized on them as an excuse for the course he +wanted to follow. And so the slip of paper went back into his +pocket-book, tucked in carefully, though he knew every word that was on +it; and he sat down again, and remained, thinking and wondering, until +the fire had ceased to show even a spark of red, and the chill of the +room sent him shivering to bed, to dream of Lalage. + +Jimmy came out of his room at nine o'clock next morning to find Mrs. +Kelly sweeping the dining-room. "The cook has not come back yet," she +remarked cheerfully. "I do hope the police haven't taken her, for she is +really a treasure when she's sober. And I can't very well borrow the +Harmers' servant again. So breakfast will be late; but you said last +night you weren't in a hurry, and Douglas isn't either. Won't you have a +whisky and soda, Mr. Grierson, whilst you're waiting. The decanter is on +the sideboard, or it should be--oh, no, I remember, Douglas has got it +in the dressing-room. I'll fetch it." + +Breakfast was finally over about eleven o'clock. "We're not usually so +late, though it's always a movable feast," Mrs. Kelly explained, and +then Douglas prepared to go down to the office. + +"They can always call me on the telephone if they want me specially," he +remarked, "and showing my independence is part of my scheme. I don't +think you'll ever be able to bluff, Jimmy. It isn't in you. At the back +of your mind, really, you're staid and respectable, with a reverence for +those set in authority over you, even for those who'll set themselves +there. So you'll have to trust to the merit of your work alone, and it's +a slow job getting recognition that way. What do you say, Dora?" + +Mrs. Kelly smiled, and then suddenly her face grew grave, almost sad. +"Yes, it is a slow job sometimes," she said, softly. "Only Mr. +Grierson's old enough not to go under whilst he's waiting, and, of +course, he has the knowledge. It's those raw boys from the provinces I +pity." She shook her head as if at some memory, then followed her +husband to the front door. "Come again, Mr. Grierson, won't you," she +said as she shook hands. "Of course, you'll see Douglas often at the +club, and if he gives me longer warning I'll make sure the cook doesn't +get out. Douglas, dear, you might ask them at the police station if +they've got her. I've got a kind of creepy feeling which tells me that +they have, and, you know, the magistrate said he wouldn't fine her next +time." + +"You're lucky," Jimmy said abruptly, as they came down the steps of the +mansions into the street. + +Kelly looked up with a grin. "Do you mean in having our cook?" + +Jimmy disregarded the question, and went on, "Were you lonely when you +first came home, before you married? Did you have to go through it, or +had you people of your own?" + +He did not put it clearly, but the other showed he understood when he +answered, "My people are all in the North, and they're Nonconformists +and teetotallers. I went up once, and the governor and I quarrelled. I +haven't seen them since. Dora's never seen them. We were married six +months after I came home, on nothing. I wouldn't have risked it, but she +insisted for my sake. I was at the old game, you know." + +Jimmy nodded. He understood, remembering vividly certain wild drinking +bouts which, incidentally, had given him some practical experience in +newspaper work, for on more than one occasion he had taken Kelly's +place, and brought out the little sheet. + +They walked on a little way in silence, then, "Women are a confounded +sight better than we are," Kelly jerked out. "They see so much further. +We reckon we are being unselfish when we're only cowards; but they're +ready to back their own opinion and run the risk; and when they win they +let us take the credit." + +"Some of them do, the right sort. But there are others----" Jimmy was +thinking of the girls to whom Ethel Grimmer had introduced him, those +whose parents had trained them in a due appreciation of the value of men +of position. + +Kelly stopped suddenly and looked at him anxiously. "James Grierson," he +said, "I shall put you in a book some day when you're developed. At +present you're about twenty-one years old in many respects. Probably +you'll marry stodgily, or else you'll go to the other extreme and make +an even bigger ass of yourself." + +Jimmy flushed uncomfortably, remembering Lalage; then went hot at the +thought of his own folly. He had only spoken to the girl once. + + + + +CHAPTER X + + +Lalage Penrose's flat was on the second floor of a small block of flats +in a narrow and grimy street. Opposite the main entrance was a fried +fish shop, and next door to that a coal and greengrocery stores, with +the latest price per hundredweight of what were untruthfully called the +"Best Household Coals" displayed in huge numerals on each of the +windows. Unwashed children from the uncleanly houses which made up the +rest of the street seemed to spend the whole day, and half the night, +dancing to barrel organs. Garbage and paper littered the roadway, except +where there was sufficient slimy black mud to cover these; but, on the +other hand, there was a large and gaudy public house at the corner, +opposite a similar block of flats, and a cab rank just down the side +turning. + +Lalage's flat consisted of three very small rooms, for which she paid +fifty pounds a year. "Inclusive of rates," the agent had said; but, as +the landlord himself was on the Borough Council, his assessment was, of +course, not unduly high. By trade, the owner was a butcher in Maida +Vale, though his friends in Tooting did not know that; moreover, +besides being a councillor, he was a German by extraction; consequently, +with these two qualifications, it was quite natural that he should own +flats of that kind. In Capetown, where men are crude or brutal in their +ways, a judge and jury between them would probably have assessed his +merits at fifty lashes and two years' hard labour; in London, on the +other hand, not only was his person sacred and his property safe from +police raids, but he also had reasonable grounds for expecting to be +mayor in due course--which often meant a knighthood--whilst even the +greatest prize of all, the chairmanship of the new Electricity +Committee, a body having the giving of six-figure contracts, was not +beyond his grasp. He was quite a personage in the municipal life of West +London, as well as in the social life of Tooting, and, being a married +man with a family, he treated his tenants with righteous severity, +distraining on the slightest excuse when he suspected they possessed +anything of value, knowing well that his victims would not dare seek +redress in the Courts. + +It was four o'clock exactly when Jimmy knocked at the door of the flat, +which was opened by Lalage herself. "I've no servant," she explained, +"only a woman who comes in once or twice a week." Then she led the way +into the tiny slip of a sitting-room, where she had tea laid out. "I'm +glad you've come," she added, "I was half afraid you wouldn't." + +"Why?" he asked with a smile. + +She looked at him seriously, her head a little on one side, as though +she were trying to read his character. "You seemed shy, different from +most men. Are you an Englishman?" + +He nodded, and gave her a brief sketch of who he was. She listened with +evident interest. "It must be splendid to travel and see things. I have +always longed to, at least I did once, but now----" She broke off with a +hopeless little sigh, and got up abruptly. "I'll fetch the tea now." + +The tea things, like everything else in the place, were of the simplest, +cheapest kind, yet as tasteful as was possible considering their price; +but, on the other hand, the tea itself was good, and there was a plate +of daintily-cut bread and butter and another of sandwiches. + +"I was so glad of that tea yesterday." Lalage looked up suddenly. "I +hadn't had anything since some bread and milk at breakfast time, and +that horrible black man made me feel quite shaky." + +Jimmy frowned. "Why do you starve yourself in that way?" he asked. + +In after years, he often thought of this question and her answer. He +had been hungry himself more than once, and he knew, only too well, what +it meant; but, somehow, he had never pictured a well-dressed girl as +suffering that way. + +"I only had a penny left, the one I spent on that bun, and no one will +trust you with as much as a loaf round here. I was afraid you would +notice how greedy I was at tea." Then, as he flushed awkwardly and began +to speak, she stopped him with a little gesture. "Why should you have +thought of it? You were very good, as it was. And I'm all right now. I +got a postal order last night," she added rather hurriedly; then she +changed the subject abruptly, and went on to talk of one or two matters +of passing interest, which the papers had been booming for want of +anything of real importance. She had evidently received an average +education, Jimmy could see that plainly, and yet he was puzzled, for in +many of her ideas, and especially in her strong prejudices, she belied +her apparent age; for they were those of a child of fourteen, rather +than of a girl of some two or three and twenty. Insensibly, he found +himself listening to her as one would to a child, and then, a moment +later, she would bring out some cynical scrap of wisdom, evidently the +fruit of bitter experience, which sounded strange coming from her lips. +Yet, despite the utter unconventionality, there was no hint of fastness +about her, and even when she touched by implication on her way of life, +she did so with a kind of frank simplicity, hiding nothing and trying to +excuse nothing. + +"What do you think of my little flat?" she asked suddenly, after what +had been rather a long pause. "It's very tiny, of course; but it's a +home, and when you've had nowhere to go to, not even a lodging----" She +broke off, and stared into the fire. "It's simply awful to have +nowhere," she went on after a while. "To walk about hour after hour with +the mud squelching through your shoes, and nothing to eat; and getting +more hopeless as midnight comes on. I was out two whole nights." + +Jimmy breathed heavily; he had often heard the same sort of thing from +men; but it sounded very different coming from the lips of a girl. + +"And then one day I got ten pounds," Lalage continued, "and I made up my +mind I would have a home. I paid a month's rent in advance--they don't +worry over references if you do that--and I went to some hire-purchase +people for furniture. Then I bought a kettle at the sixpenny halfpenny +shop, and a cup and saucer and plate in the next street, where the +barrows are. By the time I had got curtains and some sheets and one or +two odd things like a lamp, there were only a few shillings left." She +looked up seriously. "You wouldn't think till you try how expensive +furnishing is; but I was so proud of my little home. I am still; and you +know, when you've a place of your own, if you only have bread and milk +no one is any the wiser. I've often been hard up since, but I've always +managed to scrape up the rent and the hire-purchase instalment. One must +do that; they don't give you a day's grace." + +Jimmy was chewing savagely at the ends of his moustache. It never +entered into his head that she was trying to play upon his sympathies. +There was some curious quality of simplicity in her manner which forbade +that supposition. She interested him as no woman had ever interested him +before, and, suddenly, he was filled with a desire to know her past, +and, in that, to find excuses for the present. + +"Where do you come from?" he asked. + +"Hampshire," she answered, adding, "My people are dead. I'm quite alone +in the world." Then, as if to change the subject, she got up from her +seat. "You must have a look round my tiny place." + +Jimmy felt almost guilty as he noted her obvious pride in the few little +articles she had collected together. May's cook would have rejected with +scorn the kettle from the sixpenny halfpenny bazaar, and the one or two +pots and pans which had since been bought at the same shop; whilst none +of the Marlow servants would have deigned to use the thick earthenware +plates on the dresser. Yet everywhere there was a perfect cleanliness, +which, possibly, those same servants would never have succeeded in +attaining in the smoke-laden atmosphere of that street. + +"I do hate dirt and untidiness," Lalage explained when he made a remark +on the subject. "I do everything myself, except the scrubbing; and I +wouldn't have a woman in for that if it wasn't for my hands; I want to +keep them nice." + +She held them out for Jimmy to inspect, with the first touch of vanity +he had seen in her. Perhaps, her pride was justifiable, for they were +well worth looking at, being small and perfectly shaped. She wore no +rings, nor, for the matter of that, any jewellery at all, whilst her +dress was of the simplest. + +When they went back to the sitting-room he asked her the time. "I never +carry a watch," he said. "Mine went the way of a good many other things +when I was first knocked out with fever, and I've never managed to +afford another one." + +Lalage nodded with sympathetic comprehension. "I know; but it's worst +when you've nothing left to pawn. As for clothes, they give you nothing +on them, at least round here. But you want to know the time." She +opened the window and listened a moment. "It's just on six. I can hear +the periwinkle man coming, and he's never late. This is the last part of +his round, you see, because he doesn't expect to sell much here; then he +goes to a stall for the evening. I know them all, and I think they like +me, because I chat to them. But the people in the other flats," she +shook her head with an air of disgust, "most of them are dreadful; a lot +of horrid foreigners, you know. Still, the caretaker sees they don't +fight on the stairs, and when I shut my door, I feel I shut them all +out." + +Jimmy smiled a little grimly; he could picture those other tenants and +their ways. Then, "Will you put your hat on, and we'll go out and get +some dinner?" + +She reflected a moment. "Why not get something and bring it in here? It +won't cost nearly so much, though it will be much nicer. Oh, in six +months I've got simply to loathe the smell of a café. There's a nice ham +and beef shop where we can get everything we want." She laughed rather +ruefully. "I remember yesterday when I was so hungry looking in there +and wishing I could get a roast chicken they had, all beautiful and +brown, you know, with jelly on it. But they wouldn't have trusted me +with even a quarter of a pound of beef. I suppose they've been robbed +so often. Well, I'll put on my hat, and we'll get what we want. Really, +honestly, I would much sooner have it like that than go to one of the +best restaurants. Don't you yourself think cafés are hateful?" + +Jimmy watched her marketing with a distinct sense of admiration. She +knew the local price of everything, and she insisted on having exactly +what she ordered. + +"I don't see why they should rob you," she said. "They make huge profits +anyway. Now, I think that's all we want." She ticked the articles off on +her fingers. "Oh, unless you care for something to drink.... Yes, I like +a whisky and soda with my meals; but don't get a whole bottle, it's only +a waste; and they will sell it you by the quartern in that public house. +I'll wait whilst you go in. But don't buy a bottle; I know you haven't +got any money to throw away?" she added. + +When he came out, she noted, with evident satisfaction, that he had +obeyed her. "This will make a lovely supper," she declared, and her +smile showed she meant it. "I like shopping like this. It's always nicer +than a café, and much less expensive." + +Her last remark reminded him of what she had said just as he was going +in for the whisky. + +"Why do you think I haven't got any money to throw away?" he asked. + +She gave a wise little nod. "You tell me you write, and I know literary +men never have anything to spare." + +Jimmy laughed. "How do you know?" + +Lalage turned away. "Never mind, but I do know, only too well." + + + + +CHAPTER XI + + +"I have not heard from you for several days," Mrs. Marlow wrote to +Jimmy, "though I have had a couple of letters from Eliza Benn, who says +that for two consecutive nights you did not come home. The first night +you wired to her, but the second time she sat up until after midnight, +fearing lest it might not be safe to let you have a light. I need not +say how annoying it is to hear these things from one's former servants. +Both Henry and I trust that you are not already getting into dissipated +ways, and that you will remember that you belong to a respectable +family, which will have to bear a large share of any disgrace into which +you may fall, or be led." Then there was a postscript. "Eliza Benn is a +person for whom I have a great regard; and I hear that her husband holds +quite an excellent situation in Mr. Grimmer's salesrooms, where he is +paid thirty-five shillings a week, which, Henry says, would only be +given to a most experienced and steady man." + +Jimmy tore the letter across savagely and tossed it into the fire. It +annoyed him the more because his sister had got within measurable +distance of the truth, at least from her point of view. He had already +had some uncomfortable moments over the thought of what the family would +say if it ever came to know of Lalage. He had not seen the latter again, +but, though it was less than forty-eight hours since they had parted, he +had written to her twice, and he could not disguise from himself the +fact that she filled his life to the exclusion of all else. No other +woman had ever appealed to him in the same way. Lalage had gripped his +imagination. He could remember every word she had said, and, having been +on the rocks himself, he could understand what she had suffered--the +rain squelching through the thin little shoes, the bitter loneliness of +the great city, the meals of bread and milk which had to last the whole +day, the passionate longing for a home of some sort. He did not attempt +to argue the thing out logically, as a Grierson would have done. The +thought of her way of life inspired him, not with the scorn or loathing +a man of position would have felt, even when taking advantage of it, but +with a terrible, gnawing jealousy. Probably, he would not have admitted, +even to himself, that he was in love, for, somehow, the phrase seemed +hopelessly inapplicable. It belonged to the Grierson part of his nature, +and was supposed to signify a preliminary to marriage, an altogether +decorous kind of affection for a decorously-behaved girl, who had never +been homeless or hungry or cold. All he cared for now was to get Lalage +away, to be with her always, and, for the moment at least, anything +which did not help towards that end seemed of absolutely no importance. +He had thrust family considerations on one side, thrust on one side all +those good resolutions, or rather those revived instincts of the past, +which had been uppermost in his mind when he first came home. His own +world, the Griersons and Marlows and Grimmers, would have called him +either mad or hopelessly immoral, according to the degree of charity +latent in their respective natures; Kelly would have warned him bluntly +not to endanger his prospects by being a fool; a mental specialist would +have explained that the shock of John Locke's death, coming on top of +the ten years of almost continual overstrain in bad climates, had +temporarily affected his balance, an opinion with which Lalage herself +would have agreed, knowing, after all, nothing of men's love; but +neither opinions nor diagnosis would have altered Jimmy's determination. + +He had put in two days of almost savagely hard work. Without money he +would be helpless. True, most of his manuscripts had come back; but +still three had actually appeared in print, and he could feel he had +made a start. The old semi-indifference on the question of his ultimate +success or failure had vanished completely. He was in deadly earnest +now; Lalage should have no more bread-and-milk days, if he could help +it. + +Mrs. Marlow's letter had arrived by the first delivery, in the cheerful +company of a returned manuscript. He had heard from Lalage, her first +letter to him, the evening before, and he did not expect another till +that night; but when the second postman knocked at the door, and, a +moment later, Mrs. Benn came creaking upstairs, he hurried to meet her, +hoping the envelope might bear the West London postmark. But he was +doomed to disappointment. The letter was from Ida, his sister in +Northampton. "When I heard from you last week you said any day this week +would do," Ida Fenton wrote. "We find we shall be able to have you +to-morrow, and hope you will stay four or five days. The best train is +one at 2:15, and I will meet you by that, so you need not worry about +answering this note. We are all looking forward to seeing you, and +though, of course Joseph is at business all day, and the children at +school, I daresay you will find the rest do you good." + +Jimmy frowned as he folded it up and put it back into the envelope. He +had arranged to spend the next day with Lalage; they were going to have +a run out somewhere--"somewhere inexpensive, like the Crystal Palace," +Lalage had said in her letter--and then they were going to have another +of those delightful marketing expeditions in the grimy street where the +barrows were. Now, all that would have to be postponed. Jimmy would not +have scrupled greatly about disappointing Ida--she had been in no hurry +to see him--but May's letter had shown him how he was being watched and +his doings reported, and he did not want to arouse further suspicion. He +intended to move very shortly, though his plans were as yet but half +formed, and, moreover, he shrank from doing anything which would offend +May. He might not be afraid of his relations; but at the back of his +mind he was sufficiently conscious of his own departure from the paths +of rectitude to feel the weakness of his position. + +He wrote to Lalage that evening, explaining matters; consequently, she +was not surprised when he came up next morning carrying a handbag. At +first, it struck him that she was looking rather pale and worried, but +she greeted him with frank pleasure, and, in a few minutes, she was her +usual self again. As Jimmy learned later, she had in a peculiar degree +the art of seeing the best side of things. In a sense, she was almost a +fatalist, and though she made no disguise about the regret she felt for +her ruined life, a moment later she always seemed to put the regrets +aside as useless. "I try to keep as respectable as I can," she said to +Jimmy. + +Normal people, being respectable themselves, would probably have +sneered, knowing that those who have fallen are all on the level, and +that only in those far-off days when He who pitied the Magdalen and bade +the sinless cast the first stone trod the earth was there forgiveness +for this greatest of sins. But Jimmy, not being normal, and being +anxious to find excuses for Lalage, did not sneer, and before long he +found that, though she might not be able to rise again, she was +determined to fall no lower. She was almost fastidious in her hatred of +bad language, and there was, as a matter of fact, an immeasurable +distance between her and the German women who formed the majority of the +other tenants. + +"Of course I am sorry to have to go away," Lalage said in answer to +Jimmy's complaints of having to go to Northampton. "But still, it's only +right. Your own people ought to come first, and I shall see you when you +get back, if you haven't forgotten me." + +Jimmy took both her hands in his. "I shall never forget you, Lalage, +never." + +She shook her head. "Others have said the same, and have forgotten, +none the less. I'm afraid to hope too much sometimes, for fear of +disappointment. It's easier when you haven't expected anything." She +freed her hands and went across to the window, where she stood, +apparently staring at the gigantic telephone post on the roof opposite. + +Jimmy came up behind her. "Would you be sorry if I were to forget?" he +asked. + +She answered without looking round, "Of course I should." + +"Why would you be sorry?" he went on. + +"Because I like you very much. You are always gentlemanly and nice in +your ways." Still she did not face him. + +"Do you like anyone else, anyone at all?" Jimmy's voice was not very +steady. + +"No, no." Now she turned her head, and he saw that her eyes were wet. +"There's no one I like. I don't know why I've told you things, only, +somehow, you seemed to understand how hard life is; and you don't treat +me----" she paused as though looking for a word, "you don't treat me +lightly. You're careful to raise your hat and open the door for me, and +all those little things, just as though I were," her voice broke +slightly, "a good girl." + +Jimmy coloured, and muttered something which Lalage did not catch, +then, suddenly, she gave a little gasp of annoyance. "Jimmy, you left +your bag in the hall, and it's got your name on it. The charwoman was +cleaning the kitchen and now she's out in the hall. Do get it at once." + +He obeyed her with obvious surprise, then looked at her inquiringly. +"Blackmail," she answered simply. "All these women round here do it if +they get a chance, and they say the landlord puts them up to it. +Everyone about here preys on us, in one way or another. The district +lives on us, tradesmen, landlords, agents, even the gas and electric +light people; and when they've bled us dry they seize our homes and turn +us out. They know we can't go to law, and yet whilst they're robbing us +they're sitting as guardians or councillors and going to chapel every +Sunday. They treat us like dirt, and their wives and daughters shake +their skirts at us, and all the time it's we who earn the money for +them." + +Jimmy went over to the mantelpiece, and buried his head on his hands. He +was wholly unconscious of what he was doing, being too miserable to +think of appearances. Lalage watched him a moment, then put her arm +gently round his neck, and, for the first time, kissed him of her own +accord. + +"What is it, dear, tell me," she said. + +"I can't stand it. The whole thing's horrible, abominable." It was the +man's voice which was broken now. + +"You can't help it, Jimmy dear," she answered sadly. "It's too late now. +There's no road back in these things. It's my own fault, and I must pay +for it." + +"There must be a way out," he answered fiercely. "I will find it when I +can get this wretched visit over. You can't go on like this." + +She tried to soothe him down, almost as a mother soothes a child. "All +right, dear, you shall find it when you come back. We'll see what can be +done." + +Lalage went down to the station to see him off. They arrived in plenty +of time, and when he had taken his ticket they went into the refreshment +booth for some sandwiches. They sat down, and for a minute or two, +neither said anything. Then, suddenly, Jimmy turned to her. + +"How are you off for money, Lalage?" he asked. + +The girl coloured slightly. "Quite all right, thanks," she answered +after a moment's hesitation. "Really I am, Jimmy, and, anyway, I +wouldn't let you run yourself short." + +But he was not satisfied. "Are you sure? Take some in case of +accidents." + +She shook her head. "No, there's no need. I shall be able to pull +along." + +He gave in reluctantly. "Well, you've got my address. Let me know if you +do get short, because I should hate to think----" He broke off abruptly, +then went on. "Promise you'll let me know." + +Lalage nodded. "Yes, I promise." + + + + +CHAPTER XII + + +Ida Fenton, Jimmy's younger sister, was a tall, fair woman with a +beautiful profile and hazel-blue eyes. Women who did not like her called +her a stick, and even her friends admitted that she was severe. +Stiffness was the dominant note in her character. Most men, including +even her husband, wondered that she had ever married. In pre-Reformation +times she would certainly have been a nun, and probably a saint, being +passionless, and therefore able to avoid all carnal sins without effort. +However, she belonged to an age which regarded marriage as the one +vocation for women, at least for those of position, and she had accepted +Joseph Fenton, if not with enthusiasm, at least with satisfaction. He +appeared to fulfil all the necessary conditions, and she had never found +reason to regret her choice. If Fenton himself sometimes appeared hurt +at the fact that she did not display more outward affection towards him +or the children, she seldom worried over the matter, being fully +conscious of her own rectitude of conduct and feeling. + +Jimmy felt chilled the moment he entered the Fenton house. Ida's own +personality seemed to be reflected in everything, in the furniture, in +the pictures, and above all in the unnaturally tidy children to whom he +was presently introduced. He could still feel the one cold kiss which +Ida had given him, and, when he was shown up to his room, he +unconsciously gave the spot an extra dab with the sponge. + +The weather was bitter, yet there was no fire in the big spare room, Ida +holding that fires in bedrooms were unhealthy and extravagant, +consequently, being still thin blooded as a result of ten years in +tropical climates, he was shivering when he got downstairs again. + +"Can I have a little whisky, Joe?" he said to his brother-in-law, whom +he found in the smoking-room. "I've got a bit of a chill on me, and it +takes very little to bring out my malaria." + +Ida, who had just entered, frowned slightly. "Ammoniated quinine would +do you more good, Jimmy. Joseph himself never drinks between meals. It's +such a bad example if the children happen to come in." + +Jimmy stifled a retort to the effect that the obvious course was to keep +the children out; but he refused the proffered quinine and helped +himself to some of the whisky which his brother-in-law had already +produced. + +Ida sighed and went out, whereupon Fenton lost no time in making use of +the second glass which was on the tray. + +"Ida likes giving people ammoniated quinine," he remarked. + +Jimmy nodded sympathetically, knowing his sister of old. She had managed +their father's household during the period between their mother's death +and her own marriage, and he still had lively recollections of her +régime. + +Dinner was a dreary meal. Fenton, who was essentially a cheerful person, +made several spasmodic attempts at conversation, but Ida, cold and +beautiful, seemed to check him by her own silence; whilst Jimmy was +thinking of Lalage, contrasting the luxury of his present surroundings, +the massive plate, the costly dinner service, the deferential, +silently-moving butler, with Lalage's little room, and its hire-purchase +furniture, earthenware plates, and the meal bought at the ham and beef +shop. Now, he was amongst his own people, a Grierson come back to the +Griersons; and yet he hated it all, because he had reached the point of +wanting to share everything with Lalage, whom he could never hope to +introduce into houses like the Fentons'. + +The long meal came to an end at last, and they went into the +smoking-room, where Ida joined them. Mrs. Fenton had asked no questions +at dinner, when the servants were present, but Jimmy quickly found that +there were many things she wanted to know, not about the past, but about +his doings since he had come home, and about his plans for the future. +In a flash, he understood that May must have arranged this sudden +invitation to Northampton, and he was on his guard at once. Inwardly, he +was furious and a little uneasy, foreseeing the possibility of future +trouble; but he kept both his temper and his composure, and in the end +he lulled Ida's suspicions. When she had gone, Fenton himself breathed a +sigh, which sounded curiously like one of relief, and, pulling out a +couple of big volumes in the bottom shelf of the bookcase, produced a +bottle of whisky of a brand greatly superior to that which stood on the +tray. + +"She doesn't like to see it go too fast." He motioned towards the other +bottle. + +Jimmy nodded sympathetically, understanding; then helped himself. + +"They're afraid of you going the pace." Joseph Fenton jerked the words +out, looking away almost guiltily. + +Once more Jimmy nodded. He liked this brother-in-law, always had liked +him, knowing him to be a man, and, for a moment, he felt inclined to +tell him of Lalage; but, before he could make up his mind, Joseph went +on: + +"They don't understand, Jimmy--Ida and May and my own sisters too. Yet, +hang it all, in a way I suppose they're right, because of the kids, you +know." He tossed his cigar into the grate and lighted another, rather +carefully. "You fellows who have knocked about, you get ideas and +ways----. But, they won't do here, Jimmy, believe me." He paused again, +to help himself to another whisky, then went on, hurriedly, "This work +of yours, it's a bit uphill. Are you all right for cash? If not come to +me." + +Jimmy flushed. He wanted some money badly, how badly only a man in his +position, the lover of Lalage, could know; but still he could not take +it from Fenton, for that purpose. Joseph would never understand his +motives. So he stood up, suddenly. + +"Thanks, very much, Joe; but I can rub along, at least I think so. If I +am dead stuck, I will come to you; but I believe I can pull through." +Then he said good night, and went upstairs, to think of Lalage, and to +curse his own idiocy in not taking the proffered loan. Twenty pounds +would have been nothing to his brother-in-law, yet to Lalage and himself +it would have meant a new start. Before he lay down he had made up his +mind to ask Joseph for it, after all, and he went to sleep with that +resolution in his mind; but when he awoke in the morning things somehow +seemed different, and before breakfast was over he had changed his mind. +This was his world, and these were his own people, living ordered lives, +with soles and grilled kidneys for breakfast, and family plate on the +table, knowing nothing of ham and beef shops, or of milkmen who demanded +cash in exchange for their milk. He belonged to them, he was one of +them, sharing their principles and their prejudices, worshipping their +gods, as his ancestors and theirs had done. What real kinship had he +with Lalage, who made her breakfast tea out of a quarter-pound packet +bought the evening before at the little general shop round the corner, +and took an obvious delight in the sixpenny haddock they had purchased +off the barrow with the glaring oil lamps over it? + +And yet, when the postman brought him no letter from that same Lalage, +he grew silent and restless, as his sister's eyes were quick to note. +When Joseph had departed to his office, he himself went to the +smoking-room and wrote three whole sheets to the girl who lived in the +flat, for the first time throwing all prudence to the winds, and saying +the things he felt. His pen travelled quickly, and, whilst he was +writing, he forgot all about his surroundings, his mind being full of +Lalage. When, at last, he had finished and signed his name, in full, as +a sign of his trust in her, disdaining any subterfuge, he looked round +the luxuriously furnished room, and for an instant he was filled with a +sense of his own folly; then, hurriedly, as though ashamed of what he +was doing, he thrust the letter into an envelope and sealed it down, +afterwards posting it with his own hands. + +The hours dragged by slowly. The Marlow house had seemed dull; but the +Fentons' was almost unbearable. Ida meant to be kind; but, perhaps, +because she tried to show her intention, she only succeeded in making +Jimmy feel his position as a poor relation. She took him for a drive in +the afternoon to call on one or two elderly ladies in reduced +circumstances, whom she patronised unconsciously, greatly to the +discomfort of her brother, who had a kind of fellow feeling for her +victims. Yet, on the other hand, he was conscious of a grim admiration +for Ida; she was so sure of her own rectitude, so convinced that her +husband's wealth--which meant her own position--entitled her to lecture +and to interfere. It was all interesting, even amusing, or it would have +been so, had Lalage never come into his life, in which case he could +have regarded Mrs. Fenton from a more or less impersonal point of view. +Now, however, she was a possible danger, to be guarded against, +and--though he did not like to put it that way--to be lied to, if +occasion demanded. + +That night, Jimmy hardly closed his eyes, being occupied with the +problem of inventing an excuse for getting back to town. The evening +post had brought him no letters; and, though it was improbable that +Lalage would have any real news for him, he was terribly worried at her +silence. Lying then through the long hours, praying for the sleep which +would not come to ease him from the hideous pain of jealousy, he +suffered as few men can suffer in their lives. He had no right to +control Lalage, no more claim on her than anyone else had, he was mad to +trouble about her, knowing what he did of her, and having ten years' +experience of women behind him. Yet he lay there, wide-eyed, wondering, +and tormenting himself. Twice he got up and endeavoured to smoke a +cigarette, but all to no purpose. The tobacco tasted rank, and, after a +few whiffs, he let the thing go out. When, towards morning, he did fall +into a heavy sleep, it was only to dream of Lalage, with the mud and +rain squelching through her shoes, looking for someone to give her +shelter. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + + +If Ida felt any relief when, at the end of four miserably long days, +Jimmy returned to town, she did not say so, even to her husband. It had +been a trial in many ways, but, at the same time, she was conscious of +having done her duty. She had impressed her brother with a sense of what +he owed to the family in the matter of conduct, and his very depression +seemed to show that he had taken the matter to heart. + +"Jimmy's nerves are all wrong. He's like a man on wires. He wants a +comfortable home and a wife to look after him," Fenton ventured to +remark whilst his brother-in-law was upstairs, packing; but Ida brushed +the theory aside scornfully. + +"I am surprised at you, Joseph. It is not at all the way to speak of +marriage. The Griersons have always waited until they were in a position +to marry, and have never held those disgusting ideas of nerves and so +on. Jimmy most emphatically cannot think of marrying for many years to +come. He is perfectly well, or he would be if he did not smoke and drink +so much. He has the remedy in his own hands." + +Fenton shrugged his shoulders and turned away, wondering inwardly +whether the Grierson strain would predominate in his own children. He +almost wished Jimmy had not come down. It was annoying to be disturbed +and made to think after having got out of the habit of so doing. + +The men and women of the type Ida usually invited to the house never +worried him in that way, belonging as they did to the class which can +afford to take its theories as facts. + +Jimmy had heard once from Lalage, a brief little note, just +acknowledging his letters, and telling him nothing. Mrs. Fenton had +watched carefully whilst he was reading it--she had detected a woman's +handwriting--but he had managed to keep his composure, and then, the +better to deceive her, he had rolled the paper into a ball and tossed it +on to the fire, though it cut him to the heart to part with anything +which had once been Lalage's. + +He had hoped the girl would have been waiting for him at the station; +but he failed to see her tall figure on the platform, so, jumping into a +cab, he told the driver to take him to the mansions. However, as they +went up the last street, he caught sight of Lalage coming out of a +hairdresser's shop. A moment later he was beside her. + +Jimmy's first impression was one of delight at the look of genuine +pleasure which, had come into her eyes; then he noted with concern how +worn and pale she looked. + +"I didn't expect you quite so soon," she said. "I must have made a +mistake in the time, and I wanted to get my hair done nicely before you +got back." + +"What has been the matter with you? Why didn't you write, dear?" he +asked. + +She parried the questions until they got inside the flat, when he +repeated them, holding her hands, and looking into her eyes. She tried +to avoid his scrutiny. + +"I've been all right," she answered, "only there was nothing to write +about." + +But he would not be put off like that, and at last, with a sob, she told +him. "It's over now, and I didn't mean you to know. I--I've had the +brokers in." She was speaking hurriedly, in a low voice. "You see, +someone has been paying my rent, and I expected it the day you went +away--it should have come that morning--and it was due next day. I never +heard, and I only had a few shillings, so they put the brokers in at +once. These landlords always do." + +Jimmy cursed silently. "Why didn't you wire to me? You know I would have +sent it at once." + +She shook her head. "No, no. I hate taking money from you, above +everyone." + +"What did you do in the end?" + +She looked up and faced him, with a kind of desperate courage. "I got it +by going away for two days. It's no good disguising things, trying to +make out that I don't." + +It was a question which was the paler, the man or the woman. It had come +home to him, as it had never done before. He dropped her hands and went +over to the window, where he stood very still, staring out with +absolutely unseeing eyes; whilst she watched him with a deadly pain at +her heart, thinking she had killed the love which she knew had grown up +in him. + +"Perhaps it's best, after all, perhaps it's best." She tried desperately +hard to say the words to herself, then, almost unconsciously, she took a +step towards him. Possibly her action altered the whole course of two +lives, for, like a flash, he turned round, seized her in his arms, and +covered her face with kisses. + +"I don't care, now I've come back, because it'll never happen again, it +can't happen again, and what went before has nothing to do with me. +We'll start afresh, dearest, we'll start afresh." He repeated the words +several times, savagely, as though wishing to assure himself that it +would be so. + +Lalage was crying on his shoulder, sobbing quietly without noise or +movement, as overwrought women do; but it was soon over, and she pulled +herself together bravely. + +"I think you're very tired and we had better have some tea now," she +said, smiling at him with wet eyes. He kissed away her tears, then +released her, and sat down whilst she hurried into the kitchen to +prepare the tray. + +It was very much later, in fact not until after they had finished the +supper, which she insisted should come from the next street--"Because it +was so nice last time," she explained--that he went back to the subject +of their future. He was so desperately in earnest that he succeeded in +blinding himself to the financial difficulties ahead; and, though +perhaps he did not convince either Lalage or himself, they were both in +the mood to risk things. + +"I'll give up my rooms at Mrs. Benn's, thankfully, and we can take some +others, somewhere near Fleet Street, until we can get on our feet," he +went on. + +But Lalage demurred. "I can't give up this flat, at least not without +losing all I've paid on the furniture, until the end of my agreement, in +six months' time. Why shouldn't we stay on here?" + +Jimmy frowned. He loathed the place and all its associations, but he was +not in a position to give her another home of her own, as yet, and he +could not answer her argument, especially when she added: + +"I can tell them at the agent's office that we are married, and we can +give them some name or other." + +She said it simply, without the least intention of hurting him; but the +words cut him like a whip, for though, for one mad moment, he had +thought of marriage, real marriage, he had put the idea on one side as +utterly impossible. He was a Grierson, owing a duty to the family, and +he could not do the thing. Only he had the grace not even to hint of it +to her, and she gave no sign that she had the least expectation of any +promise from him. She had recovered her spirits, and, apparently, was +quite content with the arrangement he proposed. He was fully conscious +that Society would condemn him unsparingly, if it found out, and he +could not justify his own conduct, even to himself; but Lalage never +seemed to consider the moral aspect of the question, that curious +element of irresponsibility, almost childishness, which he had marked at +the very outset, was now more noticeable than ever. + +Suddenly, a new fear gripped him. "It will never do to give my people +this address," he said. "They would make inquiries at once, and +then----" He gave a grim little smile. + +Lalage's face grew hard. "Why should they hunt you like that? If they +really cared, they would have looked after you, instead of sending you +to those lodgings. They want you to be like a little boy, to do just +what they say, and never to have a mind of your own--oh, yes, but they +do. They ought to have seen that after all you've been through, you need +care and love." + +He looked up with a queer light in his eyes. "Do you love me, Lalage? +You've never said so." + +"I like you very, very much," she answered. + +But he was not satisfied. "Do you love me?" he repeated. + +"I like you better, much better, than anyone else I ever met," and with +that he had to be content. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + + +"I know someone who will let you a room, just as an address, in case +those horrid sisters of yours make inquiries." Lalage turned round +suddenly from the looking-glass, her hands still busy with her hair. + +"Who is she? Where does she live?" Jimmy asked lazily, being at the +moment more interested in that same hair than in anything else. + +"She lives just the other side of Baker Street, and really she's a kind +of agent, you know." Lalage made a gesture of supreme disgust. "But +she's not so bad as most of them, and, as her husband is a clerk in the +Council office, anyone would tell your people that the house is quite +respectable. Why, it belongs to the mayor himself." + +Jimmy frowned. He loathed the idea of putting himself in the hands of +people of that sort, people who would understand exactly how matters +stood, and judge, not only himself, but Lalage as well, according to +their own standards. + +"I would sooner we had nothing whatever to do with any of them," he +said. + +He was touching mud for the first time in his life, real mud, and he did +not like the feeling of it. Moreover, he had suddenly grown very +particular about Lalage. They might not be married, in fact he had +decided that there could be no question of marriage between them; but, +none the less, as long as he was going under another name, he wanted +people to believe they had legalised their union, and to respect Lalage +accordingly. Had he not belonged to a family of position, he might have +seen himself as a coward or a cad; but the Griersons were essentially of +the Victorian age, and so he was able to quiet his conscience with +platitudes; whilst under the seeming calmness with which Lalage had +accepted his proposal, she was too glad of any change from the nightmare +of the past to be very critical. She hoped--that was all, resolutely +refusing to allow herself any fears or misgivings. And, after all, Jimmy +was very young so far as these things were concerned, and Lalage was +even younger; so, probably, they would not have listened to, much less +have believed, anyone who had warned them that they were attempting the +impossible. They were happy at the moment, having put the past behind +them, and they were ready to assume that their happiness would last, +ignoring its dangerous insecure foundations. + +In the end, Lalage had her way, so far as the room was concerned. Mrs. +Fagin, the landlady, scenting money easily earned, was absolutely +servile. Jimmy stammered a little over his explanations, but Lalage put +things more plainly. "He will seldom be here; in fact I do not think he +will ever actually need the room," she said. "But it will be an address +for his letters, and you will know what to say if there are any +inquiries. What would be your terms?" + +Mrs. Fagin looked at Jimmy, as if to get his measure. "I'm sure I don't +know, sir," she began. "We haven't had that same thing before, but----." + +"He will pay three shillings a week," Lalage interrupted, "and begin +next week. That should suit you, Mrs. Fagin. Very well," and she sailed +out. + +Jimmy looked at her admiringly. "You do know how to deal with them, +Lalage," he remarked. + +She sighed a little wearily. "I've had to learn that, and a good many +other things, since I came to town." + +Down at the apartment house in the dreary suburban street, Mrs. Benn +accepted a week's notice from Jimmy with a sniff of anger. + +"Very well, sir. You know your own business best, though Mrs. Marlow did +say as how you would be permanent. Without that, I shouldn't have gone +out of my way to give you our own best room, and to wear my health, +which is not too good, out in making you comfortable. But then, Mrs. +Marlow was evidently mistook all round, for she said you would keep +respectable hours and act as such." + +Whereupon Jimmy lost his temper, paid her a week in lieu of notice, and +went straight back to Lalage, who received him with delight. "So you +haven't changed your mind at the last moment, as you would have done if +you had been wise, and good and," she laughed mischievously, +"Grierson-like." + +"All I care about is being good to you, sweetheart," he answered. "But +why do you say 'Grierson-like'?" + +She looked at him critically, her head a little on one side. "Because +you're two men--James Grierson, who is stodgy and respectable and ought +to marry what the other Griersons call a good girl, that is one with +money; and Jimmy, who is awfully sweet and unselfish, just the opposite +to James. Just now, you're Jimmy, the nice side of you is uppermost; but +some day it may be the other way about and then you'll run off and leave +poor Lalage." + +He flushed, and tried to draw her to him. "Never, never," he declared. +"I shall always stick to you. Who else have I got?" + +She shook her head. "You've got your own people, always, ready to have +you, when you'll be one of them; whilst I'm all alone, and only Lalage, +the girl you met by chance in Oxford Street." + +Her words reawakened his curiosity as to her past. Twice before he had +tried to learn her story, but now, as on those occasions, she baffled +his questions. + +"I am Lalage Penrose, that's all. I was a fool, and I've paid for my +folly, and there's nothing else worth telling." + +"Still, I should like to hear," he persisted. + +"Well, perhaps you shall some day, if you don't turn into James Grierson +before then. But--but, don't ask me, Jimmy." Her bantering manner +changed suddenly, and with a queer little sob she jumped up and hurried +into the other room. + +Jimmy did not try to follow her. Instead, he lighted a cigarette, and +endeavoured to settle down to work on an article which had been +suggested by a paragraph in that morning's Record. A quarter of an hour +later Lalage came back with a little bundle of his socks in her hand. + +"These want darning," she remarked; then, in the most natural manner, +she sat down in the big wicker chair beside him, and started to ply her +needle. + +From time to time Jimmy glanced up from his writing. He was breaking +the moral code in which he had been brought up, the code which he knew, +as every sane man does know, is essentially right in principle; he was +risking a rupture with his own people who, certainly, would never +tolerate Lalage; he was face to face with an ugly financial situation, +almost penniless himself and with another dependent on him; and yet he +felt more at peace than he had done for many months past. Lalage, intent +on her needlework, frowning prettily over the large holes in his socks, +looked so sweet and girlish, so entirely unsoiled, outwardly at least, +by what she had been through, that it seemed as if, after all, there +could be nothing wrong. Marriage was only a formality, he told himself, +and from that time on he tried to school himself to think so, almost +succeeding after a while. + +When his article was finished, Jimmy glanced through it rapidly, made +one or two corrections, scrawled his signature at the foot, then turned +to Lalage. "What is the time, dear? Have any of your clock-men come down +the street lately?" + +She looked up with a smile. "Yes, the watercress man, which means five +o'clock. Have you finished now?" + +Jimmy nodded. "I thought of taking it down to the office now. It's +topical, so there's just a chance they'll use it to-night. Will you +come too?" + +"Of course," she answered. "We can get a motor 'bus at the end of the +street, and it'll be a nice little run out. Besides, it'll be lucky if I +go with you. They'll be sure to take it. I've a feeling I shall bring +you luck. Don't you think so yourself?" + +He kissed her lightly on the hair. "I'm sure you will, sweetheart. And +we want lots of luck just now." + +"What a dirty place and what a grumpy old man!" Lalage remarked as they +came out of the _Record_ office, after handing the envelope to the surly +porter, who had taken it with an inarticulate growl and tossed it to a +waiting boy. "Still, if they use it and they're good to you, I don't +mind how dusty their passage is, or how bad tempered the porter looks." + +Jimmy pressed her arm. "Good to us, you mean, don't you?" + +She laughed. "Yes, good to us, I should say now." In the morning Jimmy +was out early to buy a copy of the paper; and, as she opened the door to +him, his radiant face told her the news. + +"They've used it," he said, unnecessarily. + +She laughed softly. "I felt sure they would. You see Lalage is lucky to +you already." + + + + +CHAPTER XV + + +"That last article of yours I used was a very good one, and I shall +always be glad to see anything you like to submit; but the amount of +space we can give to foreign stuff, however good, is limited, and I do +not like to have the same signature more than three or four times a +month," Dodgson wrote, in returning Jimmy's next manuscript. + +Jimmy passed the letter to Lalage. "Not very encouraging, is it dear?" + +The girl read it through. "Oh, I think so. Three or four months means +six or eight guineas from one paper alone, and then, you see, there are +so many others. I'm sure you'll do well, because you're very, very +clever, and because you're good to Lalage." + +"Will that bring me luck?" he asked, smiling. + +"Of course," she answered. "Everyone who is good to me gets on and those +who are horrid come to grief. I've seen it, lots of times." She spoke +seriously, with an air of conviction. + +"Well, I hope you're right." Jimmy sighed. He had not sold any +manuscript for several days, and was feeling distinctly worried about +the future. His original capital had dwindled down to a few shillings, +despite Lalage's careful management, and, so far, he had not been paid +for any of his work. Already, the need of money was crippling him, +robbing him of his powers of imagination, and by that hideous perversity +of effect which every writer knows to his cost, making him do less +instead of the more he longed to produce. + +Lalage, ever an optimist, did her best to cheer him up and to assist +him, searching the papers for news items which might form the basis of +an article, counting the number of words in his manuscripts to see they +did not exceed the regulation column length, and even copying out his +rough notes in her clear, bold handwriting. + +"I wish you could get a typewriter machine, Jimmy," she remarked. "I'm +sure your stuff would have a better chance, and I could soon learn to +use the thing. Other girls do, so I'm sure I can." + +"They cost a lot of money," Jimmy answered, rather wearily. + +Lalage tossed her head. "You can get them on the hire-purchase system. I +believe you think I should get tired of it, you old silly. Now don't +you?" + +The man stooped down and kissed her. "I don't think anything of the +kind. I know you're a brick, only----." He broke off with a sigh, then, +"I'm going down to the club, to see if I can find Kelly. I must do +something before we get in a fix." + +She looked up at him anxiously. "Will you be long, dear? And do be +careful, won't you? You walk through the traffic as if it wasn't there, +unless you have me to look after you." + +When he had gone out, she sat for a long time, very still, staring into +the fire. Already, she was getting a little afraid. Twice, Jimmy had +gone down to the club in the vain hope of hearing of something to do or +picking up some useful hints, and each time he had returned a little +flushed and inclined to be apologetic. Lalage did not blame him, even in +her own mind. It was inevitable, she told herself, after all he had been +through, to the strain of which was now added the anxiety of the +present. She did not blame him, but at the same time, as she glanced +round her little home, she gave a shudder of fear at the possibility of +losing it all and of losing Jimmy as well. "If I were only sure of him, +if I dare trust him, I wouldn't mind, I'd risk it all. But to lose +everything, and then be homeless and alone again----" She suddenly felt +very cold and stooped down to poke the little fire. + +A moment later, the electric bell rang, three times in rapid +succession, a signal she knew well. She stood up quickly, her face very +pale. "It's Ralph," she muttered. "And we want money so badly. I wonder +if he would just lend it." She stood, with clenched hands, trying to +decide. The bell rang again, seemingly more insistently; then, +deliberately, she sat down, and put her fingers in her ears. "Oh, Jimmy, +I won't, because I love you. But I don't believe you trust me, and I +don't believe you understand." + +Down at the club, Jimmy was seeking advice of Douglas Kelly. + +"Hasn't the _Record_ paid you yet?" the latter asked. "Oh, you haven't +sent in an account? You should have done so on the Wednesday after your +stuff appeared, then you would have got a cheque on the Friday +afternoon. Still, if you go down to-day, before five, the cashier will +give it to you. He's a very decent fellow, and, if you're ever badly +stuck, he'll let you have it the day your article appears. I've been +glad enough to get it that way, more than once." + +Jimmy felt that sudden relief which only those who have been desperately +short of money can know. He had led Lalage to understand that he had a +couple of shillings in his pocket for his own needs beyond the +half-crown he left her, whereas he had not even got his omnibus fare +back from Fleet Street. + +"I hate to think of you going out without the money for a drink and so +on," she had said. "What's more, I'm not going to let you do it." So he +had lied bravely to her, knowing that, unless he had some luck, the +half-crown would be needed for food for the morrow. Now, however, he +would have money enough for a good many to-morrows. + +Kelly knew nothing of Lalage, but he understood what the sudden +brightening of Jimmy's face meant. + +"Been hard up?" he asked, with a smile. "Why didn't you come to me, as I +told you to do? Of course, you'll find it an uphill game, and I would +advise you to leave it now, at the start, if I were not sure you would +succeed in the end. You'll have a hard fight, because you've got ability +and experience of the world, and those will tell against you at first." + +"Why?" Jimmy asked. + +Kelly gave a cynical little laugh. "Because there's not much demand for +either in Fleet Street. You've only got to study the Press to see +that--dailies, weeklies, magazines, the whole lot. They want writers who +are just on the level of the mob, because then the mob can understand +them. All your travel won't help you to get a job; but if you could go +into a newspaper office and say, 'I know more about Upper Clapton, or +Stockwell, or some such beastly place than any man living,' or 'I'm a +crime expert, and I can give the names, and dates of execution, of every +man hanged in London for the last twenty years,' then they'd welcome you +as a long-lost brother, and give you about ten pounds a week." + +Jimmy laughed, not quite believing him. "Then how did you yourself get +on?" + +Kelly finished his drink, and ordered some more before answering the +question, then, "I bluffed," he said. "There was a coal strike coming +on, and I swore I was an expert on coal mining, so the _Evening +Guardian_ gave me a job. I picked up a little knowledge locally, just a +few technical terms and so on; and, as for the rest, neither the editor +nor the public knew that half my stuff was utter rot. It read well, and +lent itself to good headlines." + +"And then, after that?" Jimmy asked. + +"After that? Oh, well, I had got my foot in, and it was easy. I +advertised myself, and made the ruck get out of my way, as I told you +before. I'm not loved, but then I'm not in Fleet Street for the sake of +earning the regard of its population." + +Jimmy looked surprised. "They all seem pretty eager to talk to you." + +"Of course they do." Kelly laughed grimly. "Of course they do, because +I'm a power already and I may be an editor by-and-by; but, if I went +down, all they would think about would be to scramble for my place. +Don't think I'm blaming them; they're a decent enough crowd, awfully +decent, but the fight is too hard to have time for thinking about anyone +else. Why you, yourself, are already the common foe, in a sense. You're +taking up space in the _Record_ which, but for you, someone else would +fill. You won't get any help or advice, and most people would say I was +a fool for introducing a possible competitor of my own. You'll feel the +same, if you stick in Fleet Street long enough, which you won't do." + +"I thought you said I was going to succeed," Jimmy retorted. + +Kelly yawned. "So I did, my bright child. But when you've learnt the +ropes, and can afford it, you'll go in for fiction. But just now, all +your ideas are chaotic, and you won't do a decent story until you've +sorted them out and fallen in love." + +Jimmy coloured. "How do you know I've never done that yet?" + +The other man shook his head. "You're too sweetly young in many of your +ways and ideas. Oh, I daresay there's some prim maiden belonging to +your sister's circle, with an aldermanic papa in the City--but you, +yourself, would never really be in love with her. I know you too well; +and if you did marry her, you would never write a book, until you had +run away from her, as you would certainly do. Well," he got up abruptly, +as if to avoid giving any reasons for his ideas, "I'm going over to the +_Record_ office now, and if you come, I'll introduce you to the cashier +and you can get your cheque." + +Jimmy did not waste any time after he left the _Record_ office. The +cashier himself changed the cheque for him, the banks being shut. Jimmy +hesitated a moment as to whether he should take a hansom, then +remembered the lean days of the past, and jumped on an omnibus. Lalage +could make a shilling go a surprisingly long way. + +He found the girl sitting in the dark, in front of an almost dead fire, +and his conscience smote him on account of the time he had spent in the +warm, comfortable club smoking-room. + +"We're in luck, sweetheart," he said, putting his hands on her +shoulders, and kissing her. "I've got the six guineas out of the +_Record_." + +She reached up and pulled his face down to hers again, in one of her +rare bursts of outward affection. "Oh, I'm so glad. I was reckoning up, +and I found you must have gone out without any money, even for tobacco +or a drink, and I was picturing you trudging back in this cold drizzle. +You are a naughty boy to do those things." + +"And how about you, if I spent all the money? Wouldn't you think to +yourself that I was a selfish beast?" + +Lalage shook her head. "You could never be selfish; it's not your +nature. You might be thoughtless, that's all. Promise me you won't go +out like that again. I shall worry ever so much if you don't. I know, +only too well, what it means to trudge about in the London mud without a +penny for even a glass of hot milk. Oh, the cold." She gave a little +shiver. "You know that shop in Regent Street, where they have the big +fires in the window, showing off some stoves. I've stood there for as +long as I dare, more than once, trying to think I was feeling the heat +through the glass." + +"Don't, please don't," Jimmy muttered thickly. "I do hate to think of it +all. And it shan't be so again, I swear it shan't. Let's forget it all +to-night, and go out and have some dinner somewhere, for a change. +You're all on a shiver now. I'll go out and get some brandy, whilst you +put your things on. I may as well bring in a bottle." + +Lalage put her hand on his arm. "Not a bottle, dear, only a quartern. +That'll be quite enough. Do what Lalage tells you this time." + +"Don't I always do what you tell me?" he asked, laughing. + +"Oh, I don't want you to say that," she answered quickly. "You ought to +be your own master; only when I know a thing is right I do like to tell +you. A woman should, I think." + +For an instant, Jimmy felt a wild longing to beg her to change the word +"woman" to that of "wife," but she had already turned towards the door, +and at the same moment the noise of the grimy street seemed to come in +through the window and somehow fill the room. The sound recalled him to +his normal self. How could he, a Grierson, take a wife from those +surroundings? + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + + +Mrs. Marlow had learnt of her brother's sudden change of address with +mingled annoyance and anxiety. It was not pleasant to have him quit the +lodgings she had found for him after so short a trial, and she could not +help feeling that there was some very strong attraction drawing him to +town. Mrs. Benn, that uncompromising "Son of Temperance," had come over +herself to explain matters to Jimmy's sister, and had taken the +opportunity to enlarge on the number of bottles she had found in her +lodger's room, omitting to state, however, that these had included the +best part of a dozen of Bass, which, possibly because she hated liquor +so much, she had promptly sold to her next-door neighbour at a halfpenny +a bottle below the retail price. + +"I'm afraid as how the house was too quiet for Mr. Grierson, mum," she +wound up. "Having nothing to do hisself, except just write, he seemed to +think other folks couldn't be tired and want to go to bed, folks that +worked." She emphasised her words with a truly British scorn for those +who live by their brains. "I'm sure the hours and hours as I've sat up +for him, it's fair worn me out. And him your brother, mum, and uncle to +these lovely little children, what I remember coming into the world." + +Mrs. Marlow wrote plainly to her brother, doing her duty without +flinching. Jimmy read the letter with a grim smile, then handed it to +Lalage, who was bubbling over with wrath long before she reached the end +of it. + +"They are horrid, Jimmy, really they are. They see something wrong in +everything you do. It's quite enough to drive you to the bad, never +giving you a chance, and treating you like a silly little boy. I'm sure +you don't drink as she says you do. She must be a nasty-minded woman. +You know I should be the last to want to separate you from your family, +or anything like that, if they were good to you; but as it is, I'm sure +you're much better here than in those miserable lodgings, all alone and +moping. That would make you drink." + +They were having breakfast at the time, but Lalage looked so sweet, +lying back in a big wicker chair, wrapped in an old kimono of Jimmy's, +that he felt compelled to lean over and kiss her. + +"You won't let me go to drink, will you, Lalage?" he asked. + +"Of course not," she answered promptly. "You know how I feel about +that. Yet your people would never believe it if they found me--when they +find me. We girls," she looked up, a little defiantly, "we girls are +supposed to be everything that is bad; whilst they, your City people, +have got all the virtues, except charity, which they don't imagine they +need." + +Jimmy coloured. "You're a bit rough on them sometimes, Lalage," he said. + +She shook her head emphatically. "I'm not too rough. Have they any idea +of charity, any idea of forgiveness? If I were able to live respectably +again, live a good life, would they, or any of their kind, allow me to +wipe out the past and start afresh?" + +Jimmy suddenly became busy with a cigarette he was rolling. "You are +living a respectable life now," he muttered, weakly evading the +question. + +But Lalage smiled bitterly, and then, with a sudden change of +expression, she laid her hand on his, very gently. "No, Jimmy dear, +let's be straight, even amongst ourselves. You are all right, because +you're a man, and men are allowed to do these things; but they would all +treat me as a bad woman, as something rather worse than a dog. Even you, +dear, don't respect me, in your heart, although I have tried to make +you." + +The man got up suddenly, tossing his newly made cigarette into the +grate. "I do respect you, you know I do. To me, you come before everyone +else in the world; and I think as much of you, as if, as if----" He +stammered a little, and, still very gently, she finished the sentence +for him. + +"As if I were your wife." + +Jimmy's eyes flashed. Somehow, it sounded wonderfully sweet, coming from +her lips, and all his caution, all his Grierson traditions, seemed to +slip from him suddenly. He stood up, very straight, facing her. + +"My wife," he said in a low voice. "My wife. Will you be my wife, +Lalage?" + +The girl turned white, and her hand went to her throat, as though she +were choking, then she looked away, staring into the fire, whilst he +watched her, waiting for her answer with almost pitiful anxiety. + +"Dearest," she began at last, "it's very sweet of you----" Then she +paused again, as though searching for the words, which came to her at +last. "Jimmy, dearest, do you really mean it? Remember, you've only +known me quite a little time, and you can't be sure of me yet. Can you? +You see, if you made a mistake it would spoil your whole life. It means +so much to you." + +"And what does it mean to you?" he asked, thickly. + +"Everything," she answered, simply. "But then, I've spoilt my life +already, and I mustn't spoil yours too." + +"You wouldn't spoil it. You, know that as well as I do. You would give +me something to work for, make me keep up to the mark." He was +thoroughly in earnest now, carried away by the fear of losing her. He +walked up and down the room a couple of times, then stopped in front of +her. "Lalage," he asked, very quietly, "do you love me?" + +The girl nodded, without looking up. + +"Then will you marry me?" He said it deliberately. She clenched her +hands, but answered nothing, till he repeated his question, then she +faced him, white-lipped and wild-eyed. + +"God forgive me for saying it--yes. But not yet, Jimmy, not yet," and +without allowing him to kiss her, she jumped up and ran into the other +room, shutting the door behind her. + +Jimmy walked down to the club that day, not from reasons of +economy--there was still some of the _Record_ money left--but because he +wanted to think matters over, quietly and deliberately. He was conscious +of an unwonted sense of elation--Lalage was to be his, definitely and +finally, so that they could face the world openly, with none of this +miserable business of subterfuge and bogus address; no one would know of +the past. And then, suddenly, he went cold at the thought of the family +inquisition, and the falsehoods he would have to tell; whilst, even if +the latter were not detected, his people would never forgive him for +marrying a stranger, never agree to his marriage until he was in what +they would consider a good position, which would mean years of waiting. +He tried to picture Lalage, with her almost childish outlook on life, +being cross-examined by the cold and immaculate Ida, or sitting down to +dinner in the Marlow house, where even the servants would turn up their +noses at the mention of the ham and beef shop. + +And then if, after they were married, they came across someone belonging +to Lalage's old life--that was the worst idea of all, intolerable, +wholly abominable. Insensibly, he quickened his pace, as though trying +to get away from the thought, then, finding that useless, turned into a +saloon bar, where he remained a full hour, drinking whisky practically +neat, and endeavouring to interest himself in the other people who came +into the place. When, at last, he did reach the club, he was feeling +much more certain of the wisdom of his choice and his ability to manage +his own affairs. He had determined to tell Douglas Kelly, as +practically his only friend, about his engagement; and yet, somehow, he +felt a distinct sense of relief when, in reply to his question, the +waiter said: + +"Mr. Kelly, sir? He has been in, in a great hurry, just for letters and +so on. But," and he lowered his voice discreetly, knowing Kelly to be a +friend of Jimmy's and two other members being near, "but he's gone to +Russia, sir, all in a hurry. Told me to tell you he wouldn't be there +very long, at least he thought not." + +As Jimmy turned away, he found himself face to face with Romsey of the +_Evening Post_, of whom he had seen a good deal during the last few +weeks. + +"Hullo, Grierson," the other said. "You don't look too cheerful. I +suppose you are wondering how the smash is going to affect you." + +Jimmy knit his brow. "What do you mean?" he demanded. "Who has gone to +smash?" + +The reporter gave him an incredulous look. "Where on earth do you live +that you haven't heard? Why the _Comet_ ceased publication last night +without warning, which means there are forty of the best men in Fleet +Street out of jobs, ready to scramble for the space you and I and the +other fellows used to have. Cheerful prospect, isn't it?" + +Jimmy did not answer. He was wondering dully whether any of these men +had ever felt the same degree of desperate anxiety about the future as +he was feeling then. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + + +Things were bad in Fleet Street. Everyone said so, and therefore it +followed that the statement was true. Certainly Jimmy found no reason to +doubt it. His manuscripts came back with horrible regularity, not so +much because they were unsuitable but because there was so little space +and so many eager to fill it. Had he been more experienced he would have +known that things are always bad to the majority, whilst the successful +minority has no time to waste in telling others how it is getting on; +but he was raw to the game, and not over-sanguine by nature, so instead +of being elated by such little luck as he did get he was terribly +discouraged when he counted up the total results of a month's hard work. +He had just managed to scrape together the rent of the flat and the +instalment on the hire-purchase furniture, but that had been all. There +was nothing due to him from any of the papers; he was practically +penniless, as well as a little in debt to such of the local tradesmen as +would allow any credit. His own boots were growing uncomfortably thin, +whilst, as for Lalage, he had not been able to buy her a single thing. +Not that she asked him for anything, rather otherwise. + +"I can manage," she said with a brave attempt at cheerfulness. "These +shoes will do me for some little time yet, as I hardly ever go out, and +I know you'll get me lots of nice clothes when we grow rich." + +But though she tried to encourage him she was not very successful. It is +no easy task to put a new heart into someone else when there is a deadly +fear gripping at your own, and as day after day went by and she saw him +growing thinner, shabbier, more weary and despondent, her own hopes for +the future dwindled down to the vanishing point. Hitherto he had kept +away from his own people, none of whom had seen him since his return +from Northampton; but they were always there in the background, and she +knew that he had only to abandon her and come into line with their ideas +to get his immediate needs supplied and some provision made for his +future in the shape of a steady, respectable occupation. She believed in +his ability as a writer far more than he did himself, but success meant +months, even years, of waiting, and she saw that he had not the strength +to wait. Already his nerve was going and he was trying to steady himself +with whisky. Towards herself he was very loving and gentle, at least +most of the time; but he was quickly becoming too worried to work in +the flat. The sharp knock at the door which heralded the daily visit of +one or other of their small creditors would put him off work for the +rest of the day, and before long he took to spending the day at the +club, sometimes writing, more often mooning about in the vague hope of +meeting someone who could help him into a regular berth on one of the +papers. + +For Lalage these days passed with unutterable slowness. There was, of +necessity, very little to do in the way of cooking, and she had not the +heart to go out. It is miserable work looking into the shop windows +whilst your own pockets are empty, and, moreover, she had long since +divined the terrible jealousy of the past which was always at the back +of Jimmy's mind, and she knew that he hated her to be out by herself, +although, on the other hand, he seemed afraid to be seen out with her. +It was the dread of meeting some of his own people, she understood that +perfectly well, and the knowledge increased her fears for the future. In +the end she was going to lose everything, not only Jimmy but her little +home as well; and all because she had been insane enough to forget that +love was not for such as herself, because she had been wilfully blind to +the fact that Jimmy came from the Griersons, and must ultimately go +back to the Griersons and their kind. + +Now and then there was a red-letter day, when Dodgson of the _Record_ +wired for a special article, which probably meant two guineas on the +morrow. On those occasions Lalage always went down to the office with +Jimmy to hand in the copy because, as Jimmy declared, she was lucky to +him, and, being elated by the commission, he was able to put on one side +the fear of meeting anyone who knew him. But the next returned +manuscript brought back his depression and sent him down to the club +again to waste his time and drink whisky. + +Lalage did not blame him for leaving her the task of meeting the little +tradesmen, who grew foul-mouthed and truculent over an account of two or +three shillings, as is their wont in that part of London. Rather, she +sorrowed over the far smaller share of worry which did fall to him, and +tried to take it all on to her own shoulders. He would leave her, she +fully believed that, and, had she been as her kind is supposed to be, as +perhaps it is, she would have hastened his going in order to be free +again; but because she loved him she was ready to sacrifice anything to +keep him as long as possible. For Jimmy's own sake, too, she dreaded his +going back to his people, knowing, as she did, that he could never +forget her, and that he would inevitably seek oblivion and find death in +the bottle. She had divined his tendency that way from the very first, +and the fear of it had never been out of her mind since. + +Jimmy was still keeping up the nominal address at the house just off +Baker Street, and so far Mrs. Fagin, the landlady, had treated him with +fawning politeness when he paid his weekly rent, but from the very first +he had distrusted her, and he always had the feeling that she would sell +his secret if she discovered the market. Once Mrs. Marlow had called and +had been told by the maid that Mr. Grierson was out for the day and his +room was locked, but there was ever the chance that she might call again +and disclose her identity to Mrs. Fagin. The whole thing was a nightmare +to Jimmy, who sometimes found himself blaming Lalage in his heart for +having suggested the arrangement. He was a supremely miserable man, at +least when he was alone, fearful of his own people, terribly worried +about money matters, jealous almost to the point of madness, and haunted +by the dread of losing Lalage in the end. If only they could have faced +the world openly half the battle would have been over, and they could, +he told himself, have got through the rest somehow together. And yet +since that one day of madness when he had made her promise to be his +wife he had never referred to the subject again. He wanted her for his +own, and yet he shrank from the sacrifice of marriage. He tried to quiet +his conscience by telling himself it was wiser to wait, that it really +made little difference after all; whilst Lalage said nothing, being +already broken-hearted and bankrupt of hope. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + + +When she found time to think about him seriously, which was not very +often, Mrs. Marlow was far from being satisfied as to Jimmy's doings or +prospects. Someone had reported having seen him walking down Fleet +Street late at night, looking ill and down at heel, and the news upset +her. It was not pleasant to have these things said about one of the +family, even though he, himself, might be entirely to blame for it. She +would have asked him down to stay for a week-end, but for the fact that +she did not want him to meet Ethel Grimmer again, having the feeling +that he might tell that lady things which he would not confide to his +own sister. But she took counsel with Ida, and, in the end, they decided +that Walter Grierson was the right person to make an investigation. + +Rather unwillingly, Walter undertook the task, or said he would +undertake it, and, after consultation with his wife, who was not in the +least interested, detesting both Ida and May, asked Jimmy down to stay, +three or four days. + +"I'm sure I haven't any desire to go," Jimmy said, as he read the +letter to Lalage. Then he coughed a little and put his handkerchief to +his mouth. + +Lalage watched him with big, troubled eyes, not for the first time. "I +think you had better go, dear," she said. "The change may do you good, +and it'll take your mind off these stupid worries. I shall manage all +right alone. I'm used to it, you see." + +He took her words in the wrong sense, and glanced at her with sudden +jealous suspicion, which she saw and strove hard to ignore. "You see, +there's nothing urgent due just now," she went on, hurriedly, "and I've +enough food in the house to last me out. If I get some condensed milk +in, I can pretend we're both away." + +Jimmy had the grace to feel ashamed of his own thoughts. "I must see you +fixed up, sweetheart, of course, and, anyway, one night will be enough +for me at Walter's. As for money, there will be a guinea and a half +coming from the _Sunday Echo_ to-morrow. It's their pay day, the second +Friday." + +But Lalage shook her head. "You must have that for a new pair of boots, +Jimmy, and one or two little things. I can't let you go as you are. I +only wish there had been more time, so that we could have saved enough +for a new suit for you." She looked at his figure critically. "I know a +place where they sell misfits very cheap, good ones, and you might get +one to fit you. They would take my dinner dress in exchange, I'm sure." + +"No, no." Jimmy leaned forward and kissed her hand. "I won't have that. +I can manage, and if Mrs. Walter thinks I'm too shabby, she won't ask me +again, which will be a relief." + +Lalage sighed. "I hate to see you looking thin and ill and poor. It just +breaks my heart." She gave a little sob. "But, oh, Jimmy dearest, when +you get to your brother's big house, don't despise Lalage and our poor +little place here; because we have been so happy in it, in spite of all +our troubles." + +He drew her to him, very gently. "That will never happen, dear. I won't +go at all, if you're afraid of anything like that. I would much rather +not go, anyway. You are all I want." + +But she had her way in everything, save that he insisted on leaving her +five shillings, in addition to laying in a stock of provisions. + +"Really, I don't want any money," she said; "or a shilling at the most, +in case I want to wire to you. Take the money, Jimmy, do; you will want +a drink at the station, and that sort of thing." + +He looked at her with shining eyes. "Do you ever think of yourself?" he +asked. + +"Of course I do," she laughed. "I want to make you happy, and then I'm +happy, so really I'm selfish, after all." + +In the end, Jimmy stayed three days at Walter's, and, if he did not +actually enjoy himself, at least he was well content to be there. It was +very refreshing to be away from all worries, to have no one asking you +for money, to feel you could go out of the door without the fear of +meeting some miserable creditor. There was plenty to eat, plenty to +drink; and, even if he was not actually in sympathy with Walter and his +ways, there was always the tie of blood between them. Mrs. Walter, too, +made herself very pleasant. She had induced her husband to promise not +to lend Jimmy any money, so she had nothing to fear from this +brother-in-law; whilst, by getting on good terms with him otherwise, she +might be able to use him as a pawn in her never-ending game against May +and Ida. + +Jimmy thought of Lalage frequently, wondering how she was getting on, +and trying to persuade himself that he was anxious to get back to her; +and yet, all the time, he was comparing his present surroundings with +those of the flat, and dreading the return to the dreary struggle for +existence, the hateful knockings at the door, the insolent refusal of +goods without cash down, the feeling that you were always on thin ice, +in the grip of the Council, the blackmailers, and the hire-purchase +dealers, who did to you as they pleased, because they knew well that you +dare not face the world openly. There was nothing like that at the +Walter Griersons'. They lived as people of position ought to live, as +he, Jimmy Grierson, might have lived, had he not been a fool. And then, +suddenly, he thought of Lalage's unselfishness and courage and tried to +tell himself that, after all, it was worth while. But still, he never +felt as he had felt at Ida's, that fierce longing to be back at Lalage's +side, to fight the world on her behalf. London had broken his nerve +rapidly, and was now breaking his health. Somehow, things had changed. +He longed for rest and comfort and security, such as his own people +enjoyed. + +Walter Grierson took his wife's advice and did not attempt to pry into +Jimmy's affairs. "He is quite old enough to look after himself," Mrs. +Walter said, "and I don't see why you should be private detective for +May and Ida. I believe they would try and manage you, too, if I would +let them. Oh, but they would, my dear. And yet I'm sure we have a better +position than either of them. Joseph is very coarse at times, whilst +you say yourself that you do not approve of several of Henry's +companies." She scouted the idea that Jimmy looked unwell. "He's got a +cold, that's all; and he smokes too much. Otherwise, he is well enough." + +Walter sighed. "I wish he would go into something steady. I'm afraid he +will never make an income at his present work." + +Mrs. Walter shrugged her shoulders. "He wouldn't take your advice when +he first came home, so he can't blame you whatever happens. May seems to +be afraid he may make some foolish marriage, but I'm sure I see no signs +of that. Of course, if he likes to be sensible and come to you for +advice again, I should be pleased if you were able to find him work in +the City; but, at present, you are not called upon to interfere. I am +sure our own children come first." + +Her husband sighed again. He was quite fond of this brother of whom he +knew so little, but he never ran counter to his wife's wishes in family +affairs; and so, when Jimmy's stay came to an end, he allowed Mrs. +Walter to send May a vague, though generally satisfactory, report of +their visitor and his doings, which had the result of staving off +further inquiries for a time, at least. + +"You look better, dear," Lalage said when Jimmy got back. "I knew the +change would do you good. No, I've not been worried at all. Only, of +course, it's been dull without you.... Are you going down to the club +for letters? Well, be in to supper, won't you, dear? I've got something +very nice for you." + +"What is it?" he asked, smiling. + +"You'll see," she answered. "If I don't tell you, you'll hurry home to +find out. Otherwise, you may stay ever so late at that horrid old club." + +The first man Jimmy met in the club was Douglas Kelly, newly returned +from the Continent. Kelly listened attentively to his tale of +ill-success, and when he had done, "I really don't see why you should be +so down in the mouth, Jimmy," the elder man said. "I believe you've done +better than most who start freelancing when they're new to Fleet Street. +Why don't you try some magazine work? It's a better game than doing +articles for the dailies." + +Jimmy shook his head. "I have tried, but I don't seem to get the grip of +a story. I suppose I've no inventive power." + +"Rot," Kelly answered cheerfully. "It's because you're worrying, and you +can't do that and write decent stuff. Have you tried for a job +anywhere?" + +The other nodded. "Half a dozen. But they all want experienced men, and, +as things stand, I don't see how I'm ever going to get the experience." + +"Would you do sub-editing?" Kelly asked. "It's not pleasant work, going +through other people's copy, and so on; but it's good training. You +would take anything? All right. I'll see Dodgson to-night. I know he was +thinking of sacking one of the subs, and he might take you on. I'll +leave a note here for you if I don't see you again. Of course, the pay +is rotten, as I suppose you know." + +Jimmy was so full of his conversation with Kelly that he had forgotten +all about Lalage's promised surprise which was awaiting him at the flat. +True, he hurried back, but she saw at once that it was to tell her his +news, and not to find out what she had prepared for him; in fact, he sat +down at the table, and was about to carve, before it struck him that the +dinner was an unusually elaborate one; then, "How on earth did you +manage it, sweetheart?" he asked. + +She laughed. "How do you think? I schemed it out for a whole day, all on +that five shillings you made me keep. I meant you to have it, and you +see you've had to, after all." + +The man flushed. "You are a brick," he said. "You haven't spent a penny +on yourself, and yet I've been living on the fat of the land at +Walter's. But this is better than anything they gave me there." + +"That's right," she answered. "So long as you enjoy it, I don't mind all +the trouble--so long as we enjoy it together, I meant. And now if you +get this work perhaps the luck will change." + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + + +It was quite time that the _Record_ had a vacancy for a sub-editor, and +Dodgson was willing to give the berth to Jimmy; only his ideas of salary +were far from being satisfactory. + +"You see, you're new to the work, wholly inexperienced," he explained, +"and, under the circumstances, I cannot give you more than two pounds a +week for a start. Afterwards, if the chief sub-editor is satisfied, I +will raise it. If it is worth your while you can start to-morrow." + +Jimmy bit his lip. He had expected three pounds at the very least, and +this would be poor news to take back to Lalage. Still, his work would +only be from about six in the evening until midnight, and he could do +some articles or stories during the day, or at any rate he hoped so. +After all, a certain two pounds was far better than nothing, even though +the rent of the flat would swallow fully half of it. So he accepted, +after a nervous and unsuccessful attempt to get Dodgson to increase the +offer by ten shillings. + +As he walked back westwards, he found himself wondering what the editor +would have said had he explained how much that extra ten shillings +would have meant to him. The paper was paying a dividend of twenty per +cent., and if the wages of all the sub-editors had been doubled the +shareholders would never have noticed the difference; but to Lalage and +Jimmy the lack of that half-sovereign would involve semi-starvation, +unless it were possible to sell some articles. + +Lalage put on a brave face when he told her. "It's a beginning, dear," +she said. "Of course, it's a shame to pay a clever man like you so +little; but now you've got your foot in, you'll soon get on. You mustn't +be downhearted about it, Jimmy." She glanced at him keenly. "You're +tired out to-night, and I don't believe you've spent anything on +yourself in getting a drink and so on; and you've walked all the way +from Fleet Street. Now haven't you?" + +Jimmy tried to protest he was all right, but his heavy eyes betrayed +him, and she insisted that he should go out and get a quartern of +brandy. + +"But that will take pretty well all we've got," he answered. "And what +will you do to-morrow?" + +"Oh, something will happen," she retorted. "And the worst thing for me +would be to have you ill. What would poor Lalage do then? Now go, like a +dear good boy." + +As the door closed behind him, all the brightness left her face. "I +suppose his people would say I was making him drink," she sighed. "Oh, +Jimmy, Jimmy, I'm so afraid. If only I dare agree to give up this flat, +and we could go into quite cheap lodgings. But how can I risk losing +everything?" + +Jimmy's work proved more tiring than he had expected. He was thoroughly +conscientious, savagely anxious to satisfy the chief sub-editor and get +a raise; moreover, he was in anything but good health. Consequently, he +always got back to the flat in the early mornings tired out, and, though +he tried hard to write during the daytime, even he, himself, could see +that the work he produced was below his usual level. Anyway, it did not +sell, coming back every time with sickening regularity. + +Despite his protests, Lalage always insisted on sitting up for him. "You +must have something hot when you come in," she declared, "even if we can +only run to a cup of cocoa and a little bit of plaice from the fried +fish shop. You can't do brain work on nothing." + +Jimmy gladly left all the finances to her. Sometimes he wondered how she +contrived to feed him as well as she did, besides paying the rent, and +letting him have at least a shilling a night when he went down to the +office. She even managed to get some bottled stout for him, and yet, at +any rate whilst he was at home, no one came to the door to dun her for +money. Had he been stronger, he would probably have been suspicious and +have made inquiries; but he was thoroughly run down and weary, and only +too ready to be free from household worries. He had never kept house +himself, knew but little of the cost of things, and had infinite faith +in Lalage's capacity for management. + +Once or twice, during the first three months of Jimmy's engagement at +the _Record_, Dodgson asked him to write a special article with +reference to something which had happened abroad, and, when he went to +draw his money for the first of these, Jimmy found that his rate had +been raised to three guineas a column; but his weekly wage remained the +same, and, somehow, he could not summon up courage to ask boldly for a +raise. He was, as Lalage could see plainly, growing a little thinner, a +little more weary and nervous, every week. + +At the end of the second month, Lalage sprang a surprise on him. They +were at breakfast when, with a rather heightened colour, she brought +five sovereigns out of her purse and gave them to him. "Jimmy," she +said, hurriedly, "you must get a new suit, and some collars and ties +and things, really you must." + +He looked at the money, then at her. "Where did you get this, Lalage?" +he asked, very quietly. + +She faced him so bravely that his suspicions vanished at once. "I saved +it up, from those articles of yours." + +"And how about you? You want things far more than I do, sweetheart. I +don't think you have had any new clothes since I met you." + +Lalage shook her head vehemently. "That's for you. You have to go to +work, and it worries me terribly when I see you shabby. You will feel +ever so much better when you've got a new suit, and they'll think more +of you at the office. Clothes give one confidence. Now, you shall come +out this morning and order a nice dark tweed, or a grey. I'm not sure I +shan't like you best in grey. Anyway, we'll see." + +The new clothes certainly made Jimmy look better, and, for a little +while, Lalage deluded herself into the belief that he really was growing +stronger; then one night he came home shivering, with a severe chill, +and his old enemy, the malaria, gripped him again. True, he was only +absent from the office two nights; but the trouble seemed to remain, and +Lalage had to redouble her efforts to feed him up. Often, during those +days, she tried to steel herself into sending him away, into forcing +him to go back to his own people to be nursed as they could afford to +nurse him; but when it came to the point of speaking, her resolution +always failed her. She could not bear to part from him--yet. And, if she +did send him away, there was always the fear, amounting almost to a +certainty, that he would drink to drown remembrance of her. + +No, she told herself, she must keep him as long as she could, for his +own sake, as well as for hers. What would happen to herself if the +parting did come, she never tried to consider. The thought of it was too +awful. Jimmy had been so sweet and kind and thoughtful that it was +absolutely impossible for her to imagine anyone replacing him. The fact +that the question of marriage between them had been tacitly dropped did +not weigh with her now. She had never dared to hope that he would redeem +his promise eventually; and, latterly, she had tried to make herself +forget that the matter had ever been mentioned between them. + +Jimmy had seen none of his own people since his visit to the Walter +Griersons'. His work gave him a good and sufficient excuse for not +leaving town, and it never occurred to him to call on either Henry or +Walter in the City. Still, he wrote frequently; and, as time went on, +he began to lose some of his fear of their discovering the existence of +Lalage. Neither Ida nor May seemed to have any suspicions, so far as he +could judge from their letters. Consequently, it gave him a terrible +shock when, one morning, about the beginning of his fourth month on the +_Record_, he received a wire from May commanding him to meet her as soon +as possible at Walter's office. + +Lalage, who had gone deadly pale, picked up the detestable brown +envelope. + +"It's addressed here. So they know," she whispered. + +"Yes, they know," he repeated dully. + +They sat for a long time in silence, then he got up, evidently intending +to go out. + +Lalage stood up, too. "Jimmy, you will leave me," she said. + +He turned round quickly and took her in his arms. "Never, never, +sweetheart. After all you've done for me! You ought to know me better." + +For answer, she gave him a long, passionate kiss, as though saying +farewell. + + + + +CHAPTER XX + + +Mrs. Marlow was a good woman. The rector himself had told her so only +the week before when she had given him a cheque for twenty guineas in +aid of his favourite charity, the Mission to the Moabites. Consequently, +the discovery of Jimmy's double life had filled her with both sorrow and +loathing; sorrow at the thought that a Grierson should have been so weak +and foolish, loathing at the conduct of the woman who led him astray. +She was sitting very grim and upright in the client's chair when Jimmy +came in; whilst Walter was at the other side of the table, nervously +playing with his eyeglasses and wishing inwardly he had telegraphed for +his wife, a proposal which May had vetoed. + +"Excuse me, Walter, but this is a matter for our father's children +only," she had said, and Walter had, as usual, bowed to her ruling. Ever +since their mother's death May had been the high priestess of the family +fetish, the position of the Griersons. + +The two brothers shook hands in silence, but Mrs. Marlow made no move +beyond the very slightest nod, which seemed to be merely a recognition +of the fact that the culprit had arrived. + +Jimmy laid his hat on the table, then went and leaned against the +fireplace with an assumption of indifference. "Well, May," he said at +last, "what is it?" + +His sister turned on him suddenly. "Please don't be a hypocrite any +more, Jimmy, if you can help it." Her voice was hard and scornful. "You +must know from my wire that we have found out all about your disgraceful +conduct. As a matter of fact we knew of it a week ago, and might have +sent for you then, but we have had detectives making inquiries into +that," she hesitated, "that person's character and antecedents in the +hope of being able to open your eyes. Isn't that so, Walter?" + +The elder man nodded and gave a little grunt of acquiescence, though it +was obvious he did not relish being dragged into the matter at all. + +Jimmy, white with sudden passion, took a step forward. "Confound it, +May----" he began. + +His sister put her hands to her ears. "Please don't make it worse by +swearing at me. I am not the Penrose woman. We have the right to speak +to you as one of the family, if only to save you from further disgrace, +and perhaps prosecution,"--she emphasised the last words, and then +repeated them, "yes, from prosecution. Not only has this person been +bleeding you, working you to death, and taking your last penny----" + +Jimmy, remembering all that Lalage had done for him during the past +three months, cut her short savagely. "That's a lie. She's been +everything a woman should be to me." + +His sister laughed in bitter scorn. "And to half a dozen other men as +well. Oh, Jimmy, Jimmy, what a fool you are, how you've been fooled. Do +you think she's been true to you? Do you think a vile creature like that +could be true to anyone? No, I will speak for all your swearing at me. +Do you think that whilst you have been slaving at that office at nights +she has been at home thinking of you? Oh, you have been a blind fool! +She has told you lies about everything, over the rent, over the amount +she had to pay to the hire-purchase people, over what she was spending. +Do you think your paltry two pounds a week was sufficient to dress her +and keep her in luxury?" + +Jimmy turned away, gripping the mantelpiece for support. He remembered +many little things which had given him a momentary pang of suspicion at +the time; now, suddenly those suspicions became certainties; and when he +looked round again his face was five years older, for he had loved +Lalage, and he knew that May was telling him the truth. He had been a +blind fool; but still the remembrance of the past was strong in him, and +he made a last fight against believing. + +"It's a lie, it's a lie," he repeated hoarsely. There was something in +his eyes which nearly broke down May's hardness, a look she had never +seen on any man's face before, which she never got out of her memory +again. + +"I know it hurts, Jimmy, dear," she said far more gently. "It must hurt +because you've been infatuated by a very clever and bad woman; but for +all that it is true. Do you know anything of her past? What has she told +you? We know now that she was the daughter of a scientific writer, and +that, even when he lay on his dying bed, she went away with someone, +then came back with a lie in her mouth, about having been to town, +selling one of his unpublished books. Her own aunt told us of it, her +aunt by marriage." + +"I don't believe it. I won't believe it," Jimmy muttered. + +May shrugged her shoulders. "We have proofs, the best of proofs. Is it +not so, Walter?" + +The elder brother nodded without looking up. In his case, too, it was +the first time tragedy, real tragedy, had come into his life, and it was +making him think. He realised dimly that the light had gone out for +Jimmy, and as he scratched lines on his blotting-pad with the rim of his +eyeglasses, he fell to wondering, in a dull, far-off sort of way, +whether his brother would shoot himself as their father had done, and +what the coroner's verdict would be, and what the world, by which he +meant the City, would say. Then the spring of his glasses snapped +suddenly, and the annoyance brought him back sharply to the immediate +present. + +"Yes, we have complete proof, legal proof," he said. "Your sister is +quite right." Words seemed to be failing him, then he got up abruptly +and laid a kindly hand on Jimmy's shoulder, as he had often done many +years before when they had both been boys. "It's better for you to know, +old man. She's a bad lot, and you're well clear of it all. You'll soon +forget her and find someone very different." + +His words had the effect of rousing May's anger anew. "Don't talk like +that, Walter, please," she said sharply. "It's hardly decent under the +present circumstances. I presume, Jimmy, that after what we have told +you, you will neither see nor write to that creature again." + +Jimmy's eyes flashed. "I shall see her and ask her side of it. Am I to +condemn her unheard on the strength of the gossip some vile hangers-on +have concocted in return for your money? I shall go down there at once." + +Mrs. Marlow's laugh was very scornful. "I said you were a fool. Of +course, she'll lie to you again, and wheedle round you. As for the +hangers-on, to use your own elegant term, I heard first from Mrs. Fagin, +who is a most respectable woman, I find, with a husband in a very good +position in the Council office. She had no idea she was lending herself +to such a deception, and sent me to the mayor, who very kindly had +inquiries made. Then we actually caught this woman, as you can see by +these." + +She held out a little bundle of papers which Jimmy took mechanically, +fingered for a moment, then with a sudden resolution he tossed it into +the fire, and as it did not catch immediately drove it down into the +glowing coals with the heel of his boot. + +May watched him in silence, but when the blaze had died down again, +"That stupid action won't alter the facts," she said; "and I may as well +tell you that the mayor has asked the police to make her leave that +flat. I am only sorry there is no charge we can bring against her. +Anyway, she will be watched," she added vindictively. "Ida has gone to +warn her now in case she tries to blackmail you." + +Jimmy took up his hat quickly. "Good-bye, Walter," he said quietly, +and, ignoring his sister, fumbled a little uncertainly for the handle of +the door. + +May sprang up and seized his arm. "Jimmy, oh, Jimmy, dear, don't go like +that, don't go back to her. We are your own people, you must remember +that, and because we love you, we want to overlook all this and see you +get on. Don't spoil your life in this way and make us all miserable. If +you see her again she has enough wicked cleverness to get you back into +her power." + +There was genuine feeling in her voice, and for a moment Jimmy was +inclined to change his mind, then he released her clutch very gently, +and without another word went out of the office. + +"He will go back to her, Walter, I am sure he will. He is weak enough +for anything where a woman is concerned," May sobbed. + +Walter shook his head. "I think not. No, I'm sure he won't," he said +with a degree of assurance he was far from feeling; then he looked at +his watch. "Well, I've got an appointment with a client in a few +minutes, May; I don't want to hurry you off, but----" + +May wiped her eyes and drew down her veil. "I do hope Ida manages to +frighten her away before Jimmy gets there," she said. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI + + +Ida Fenton did not shrink from the task of interviewing Lalage. Rather +otherwise, in fact, for her own conduct had always been so correct, both +her nature and her circumstances combining to keep her out of +temptation, that she felt a repulsion, verging almost on hatred, towards +those who had erred; consequently, she took a kind of grim pleasure in +chastening the sinner. Unconsciously, too, Joseph Fenton had made things +worse for Lalage by attempting a remonstrance. + +"I think you and May are going too far, putting the police on her and so +on," he had said. "Why can't you be content to give Jimmy a warning, and +leave the girl alone. It looks bad, being so vindictive." + +Whereupon Ida had turned on him in one of those cold outbursts of fury +which his rare attempts at independence always provoked. She had given +up her life to this man, whose natural, easy-going weakness of character +she knew so well; and now he actually dared to put in a good word for an +abandoned woman. As a rule, Joseph bowed to the storm, but on this +occasion he, too, had lost his temper, and then, suddenly Ida had +understood, or had thought she understood. Joseph knew Lalage's address. +Jealousy redoubled Ida's bitterness, and she went to the flat more than +ever determined to hunt its occupant out into the streets. A woman as +good as herself had a perfect right to be merciless. + +When Lalage opened the door she realised instantly who her visitor must +be. That hard, beautiful face was as like Jimmy's in features as it was +unlike his in expression. Looking at it, Lalage understood that her own +cause was lost; it would be quite useless pleading to Ida Fenton. + +The visitor swept in scornfully. Lalage closed the door and then stood, +waiting, white-faced and desperate. + +"I have come for Mr. Grierson's things. Kindly pack them up and have +them taken down to my cab." Ida's quiet voice belied the savage anger +which the sight of this girl had aroused. + +Lalage started. She had never thought of this. Could it be that Jimmy +was not coming back at all, even to say "Good-bye," that she would never +see him again? + +"Did he send you?" she asked breathlessly. + +In a good cause, Ida did not hesitate to strain the truth. "Of course," +she answered impatiently, then she went a little too far, and added +something which she thought would hurt. "He is waiting down below now." + +Lalage made a rapid mental calculation. Jimmy had only set out for the +City twenty minutes before, and could not have returned, so she laughed +bitterly. "I will give them to Mr. Grierson when he comes for them +himself," she answered. + +Ida's steely eyes glittered. "He will not be such a fool as to come +back, weak and wicked though he has been." + +The younger woman took a step forward so suddenly that Mrs. Fenton +recoiled. "He is not weak and wicked. It is abominable for you, his +sister, to say so. He is far too good for any of you, and whatever he +has done wrong, you are to blame for it. You never tried to understand +him or help him. You just left him drift away because he didn't fall in +with your narrow-minded ideas. I may have done wrong, I have done wrong; +but he has always been all that is good and true and honourable. He may +leave me, but he'll never go back to you, never, never, never." She +paused, breathless. + +Ida Fenton had recovered her composure. "Perhaps it will alter your +point of view when I tell you that if my brother continues to know you, +he will never get anything from his family. We shall cut him off +entirely. I believe that is the kind of argument which appeals to +persons of your sort." She emphasised the last two words. "He may have +misled you with the idea that he could get money out of us; but that was +quite wrong; whilst, as for his own prospects, he is no good and never +will be." + +"You shan't say that about him," Lalage broke in passionately. "It's +only your ignorance and your jealousy of his cleverness." + +Ida shrugged her shoulders scornfully. "No doubt you are a judge of what +is correct and right. You should know my brother by now. But I think he, +too, will have learnt all about you this morning. That telegram which +trapped you a few nights back, calling you out to meet a man in the West +End, was sent by one of my brother-in-law's clerks. You were watched +then, and recognised by the police. You will get notice to leave here +to-day, and I do not think you will find another place in London. If you +can explain all that to my brother to his satisfaction, he must be such +a fool that you will be welcome to him." + +Then she swept out, feeling she had vindicated the Grierson tradition. + +It was an hour later, when Lalage heard Jimmy's key in the lock. She was +sitting huddled up in a big armchair, his favourite chair; but she did +not move when he came in, and stood in front of her, though she had +noticed that he was dragging his feet a little, and breathing heavily, +as though the stairs had exhausted him. + +"Well?" he said at last. + +She turned her head away. "Your sister came soon after you left," she +said, in a curious, dull voice. + +Jimmy started. "Ida? Ida has been here already?" He passed his hand over +his forehead in a dazed sort of way, then tried to pull himself +together, as though to meet a blow. "Is it true, Lalage?" he asked. + +She answered him with a nod. + +On the second time that day, Jimmy steadied himself by the mantelpiece, +only now his head went down on to his arms, and Lalage heard him give a +sob. + +In an instant she was on her feet, trying to turn his face towards hers. +"Oh, I did it all for you, Jimmy, I did it all for you. Do you believe +that, oh, you must believe that. You were ill and half-starving, and I +had to get you nourishment and clothes. It was the quickest way, the +only way I could think of; and it seemed so lovely to get you good food, +and make you stronger. It was awful, but it would have been more awful +to see you dying. Jimmy, believe me, you must believe me, every penny +went for you. I didn't want it for myself, only for you; and I thought +when the worry and the knocking at the door by the tradesmen were over, +you would soon get on, and then I would have stopped, oh, so gladly. +Jimmy, dear, Jimmy, sweetheart, say you understand, even if you don't +forgive." + +The man looked up, and, for the first time, Lalage saw how he had +changed. He was livid and ghastly, and, when he tried to speak, he +caught his breath and coughed heavily. Lalage waited with pitiful +anxiety for his answer. + +"I understand," he said, "but you ought not to have done it, after your +promising to marry me." + +She turned away hopelessly, and sank into the chair again, knowing she +had lost him. "I did it for the best," she wailed. "I only thought of +you, Jimmy, only of you." + +"You were wrong," he answered dully. "We were both wrong. It has all +been a mistake from the first. There is nothing but misery in this sort +of life, there can only be misery." He was talking in a detached kind of +way, as though the pain of the blow had been succeeded by a mental +numbness. + +Lalage was sobbing very quietly in the chair; it was the end of +everything for her. + +After a while, "What will you do now?" he asked. + +She shook her head. "I don't know. I don't think I care, now I've lost +you." She waited a moment in a last, desperate hope he would correct +her, then went on, "Your people have been to the police, and they're +hunting me out. Already, the agent has been round to give me notice to +go immediately, and the hire-purchase people are sending for the +furniture back. Everything has gone. Still I shall manage." + +In a flash, he was jealous again. "Do you mean to say----" he began; but +she cut him short. + +"No, Jimmy, not that. You need never fear the old life again." + +Her words gave him a new fear. "Will you promise you won't kill +yourself?" He had come nearer to her, and she thought he was going to +touch her. + +For a moment she hesitated, confirming his suspicions. + +"Promise," he said, almost sternly. + +Then she looked up, and asked him a question in turn: "What will you do, +Jimmy?" + +He had no reply ready, or, at any rate, he did not reply, and she went +on. "I will promise that, Jimmy, if you will promise me something. +Promise, on your word of honour, not to let this ruin your life, not to +go wrong and drink." + +Jimmy did as she had done; he hesitated a moment. "I will promise, if +you will do as I want--go down into the country, away from this horrible +town, and live quietly. I will manage the money, somehow." + +"And not see you again? Jimmy, you don't mean not see you again, just as +a friend, only as a friend?" + +His silence answered her, and she fell to sobbing once more, very +quietly this time, whilst he stood at the window, staring out at +nothing. At last, she grew calm and stood up, drying her eyes. + +"Very well," she said. "I will leave it all to you, because I can't help +myself. After a time, when I feel better, I shall get something to do, +perhaps, in a shop, or dressmaking. Only, the quieter the place the +better; and, Jimmy, whatever you do, you must not let your people know +where I am." + +"It is hardly likely I shall see much of them," he answered grimly. "I +think you had better go to some quiet hotel to-night," he added. "Get +your things together, and I will see you to-morrow and arrange matters +then. You say they are seizing all this furniture and so on." + +They had both got back to a kind of forced calmness now, and she +answered him quietly. "Yes, my poor little home is going. It's no good +protesting; your sisters have made that impossible; and these people can +do just as they like. I suppose the landlord telephoned to the furniture +people, and they are going shares. Yet I have already paid more than the +goods are worth." + +Half an hour later, she came out of the bedroom with her hat on. + +"I have packed your things as well, Jimmy. What are you going to do with +them? Will you take them away now, and then I can leave the keys at the +agent's office as we go past." + +Jimmy started. He had forgotten they were both homeless now. "Yes, I +suppose so. I hadn't thought. I will go to the hotel I stayed at before, +and then take you down to another. I will go and get a cab." + +Whilst he was out, Lalage hastily tidied up her little kitchen; then, +taking a dustpan and brush, she swept up a few scraps of mud which had +come off Jimmy's boots. In a drawer of the table she found his pen and a +scrap of blotting paper he had used, and thrust them hurriedly into her +dress. Then, during a final look round, she kissed in turn each article +of furniture he had been wont to use, heedless of the tears that were +dropping on them, coming last of all to his own chair, where she knelt +down and buried her face in the seat. She was still there when she heard +his step on the stairs; but she jumped up hastily and met him in the +little hall, whither she had dragged the luggage. + +"It is all ready now," she said, and went out without looking back. + +When Jimmy got down to the club a couple of hours later, he found a +telegram waiting for him in the rack, signed "Joseph Fenton." + +It read: "Meet me any time to-night at the Grand Central Hotel. Shall be +alone." + + + + +CHAPTER XXII + + +Jimmy heaved a sigh of relief as he read the telegram. In after years, +he looked back on it as the one ray of brightness in the most ghastly +day of his life. It did not alter the essential fact that everything had +gone to pieces--nothing could alter that--but it made matters less +complicated so far as Lalage's immediate future was concerned. He had +intended asking his brother-in-law for a loan, and it was a load off his +mind to find that Joseph was actually in town. A letter might, probably +would, have fallen into Ida's hands, and this was one of those cases +where an interview was better than many pages of explanations. + +In reply to the telegram, Jimmy wired that he would be at the hotel at +nine o'clock. He had given up all idea of going to the office that +night, or, rather, of ever going there again. He must get away, at once, +from everything which might remind him of the old life. He must cut +himself adrift from it, immediately, altogether, if he wished to +preserve his sanity. For himself, he cared nothing, at least at the +moment; but, though he might never see her again once she had left +London, he had to provide for Lalage. The Grierson strain in him had +asserted itself in so far as it had made him determine to leave Lalage. +He was able now to see her sin and his own, especially hers; but still +he could not abandon her to her fate, as a true Grierson would have +done, because he had been passionately in love, whilst the love of the +true Grierson is always decorous, and truly tempered by financial +considerations. The dowerless bride is regarded with coldness; the bride +with a past is anathema; there is no road back, at least in the opinion +of those who have sub-edited their religion in the interests of +propriety. + +Jimmy had no difficulty in finding a substitute to take on his work at +the _Record_ office, especially when he made it known that there was +going to be a vacancy on the staff immediately. + +"I'm a bit knocked out," he explained. "The malaria has got hold of me +again, and the doctor says I must go out at once." + +The other man nodded sympathetically, and suggested a drink. He, +himself, had been out of work for nearly six months, and the chance of +securing Jimmy's berth had altered the whole outlook for him. + +"Yes, you do look off colour," he said. "I've noticed it several times +lately. Night work doesn't suit you, I suppose. Now, I'm used to it, +been at it for years. Well, I'll give Dodgson this note of yours. It'll +be all right. He knows me well enough. So long. Thanks very much for +thinking of me." + +Jimmy turned wearily, and went down the corridor to the dining-room. He +had eaten nothing all day, and it struck him Lalage would be worried if +she knew. + +"Bring me anything you like," he said to the waiter, but when the plates +came he merely took one mouthful, and then sat, staring with unseeing +eyes at a paper he had picked up, whilst the gravy grew cold and greasy. +He was wondering what Lalage was doing, alone in that little hotel near +the General Post Office. + +"As long as it's quiet, Jimmy, that's all I care about; and the further +from the West End the better. Noise would drive me quite mad, I think," +she had said. + +So far, he had not tried to analyse his own feelings toward Lalage. All +he knew was that he was sounding the lowest depths of misery, and he +speculated, more or less vaguely, whether she could understand what he +was suffering. He wanted to blame her, in fact he knew that he ought to +blame her, that she had betrayed him and had sinned beyond all hope of +forgiveness; and yet in his ears there was still ringing her +heart-broken wail, "I did it all for you Jimmy, I did it all for you." + +At last the voice of the waiter broke in on his thoughts. "You don't +seem to like that, sir. Anything I can get for you instead?" + +Jimmy started. "No, no. It's quite all right. I don't feel hungry now, +that's the only trouble, thanks." + +The waiter was a kindly man, and he had seen a good deal of life during +nearly thirty years of service in clubs; consequently, he shook his head +mournfully as Jimmy went out. "Mr. Grierson's in trouble," he remarked +to the carver. "He looks fair broken up, as though he didn't care what +came next." + +The carver, who had no imagination, grunted. "Got the sack, I suppose," +he said, and began to dissect a chicken. + +The waiter shook his head again. "That doesn't make a man pay for food +he's not going to eat. It's a woman has played the fool with him. I +shouldn't be surprised if we don't see him here again. And he's a nice +gentleman, too, always polite to you and so on." + +Jimmy had an hour and a half to kill before going to Joseph Fenton's +hotel, and, ordinarily, he would have spent the time reading or writing +in the club; but already the place had become unbearable to him; +everything in it seemed to speak to him of Lalage, to remind him of her +and of that past which had suddenly become such a horrible memory. Why, +it was Lalage herself who had saved up the two guineas to pay his +subscription, only a couple of months ago. He went hot at the thought of +it, for it brought back the remembrance of so many other things she had +done for him. For a moment he hesitated. She was calling him back to her +side. "It was all for you, Jimmy, all for you." That part of it was +true, whatever else had been false; and she was alone in that gloomy +little hotel, eating her heart out, conscious that she had lost him. She +had betrayed his trust because she loved him so well, because she could +not bear to part with him--for a few seconds he understood that, and +felt he could forgive everything; but an instant later he was a Grierson +again. She had lied to him; she had been false to him in the greatest of +all things; and there could be no forgiveness. His people had found her +out, had proved to him what she really was, and he could not give them +up for her, knowing that she understood nothing of honour or truth. So, +instead of going to the hotel in the City, Jimmy went westwards, slowly, +listlessly, with no aim but to kill time. The Strand was thronged with +its night population, just as it had been on the first evening of his +return; but now he looked on everyone with suspicion, almost with +hatred. Any of these men might know his secret, might have heard of him +from Lalage and have laughed at him. There was madness in the thought, +and his eyes gleamed so suddenly that a policeman in plain clothes, +having noticed him, thought it well to follow him for a while; but the +fit passed almost as quickly as it had come on, and he became listless +again, shuffling his feet a little on the pavement, as though utterly +weary and disillusioned. + +The women caught his eye now, hard-faced, painted, weirdly-dressed, and +he began to wonder how they could possibly attract anyone, and to +compare them with Lalage. She had never looked like that, there had been +no sort of kinship between her and these creatures, and yet--she had +confessed that May's charges were true. + +His way to the hotel led him in the direction of the flat. At first, he +was inclined to avoid the little back street, for fear that he might be +recognised and pointed at; then the longing to have one more look +overcame the fear, and he turned up the road where the barrows were, +past the ham and beef shop, and came opposite the grimy mansion. It +seemed but natural to glance upwards at what had been Lalage's windows; +though it gave him a shock to see that, whilst the curtains had been +torn down, leaving a broken tape hanging forlornly, there was a light +in the rooms; then he noticed, for the first time, that there was a van +outside the front entrance. They were just finishing the task of +clearing out the flat. + +From the shelter of a big gateway opposite, Jimmy watched them bring +down Lalage's own chair and a wash hand stand which he himself had made +for her out of an old packing case in those early days before London had +taken the life out of him. Then, suddenly, the light upstairs was +extinguished, and a few minutes later a short, stout man in a seedy +frock coat and decrepit silk hat came down the steps, and ordered the +van to drive away. + +"That's the lot," he said. "Now get back to the shop quick. These things +may have to go out again to-morrow. Tell Mr. Gluck to have them polished +up first thing in the morning." Then he mopped his forehead with an +uncleanly bandana handkerchief, and made his way to a public-house lower +down the street. Jimmy followed him thither with no definite object, +save perhaps a kind of morbid curiosity. + +The publican greeted the furniture dealer with a friendly nod. "Clearing +another out, Mr. Ludwig?" + +The other grunted assent. "One of the soft sort. She ran away. It just +comes in right, as I have another customer for the goods, and there was +a lot paid on them. Pretty girl she was, too," and he gave a leer which +made Jimmy go red first and then very white, and leave hurriedly without +touching the whisky he had ordered. + +Joseph Fenton was waiting for his brother-in-law in the hall of his +hotel. Jimmy, scarcely knowing what sort of reception to expect, had +come in white-faced and hard-eyed, but the elder man's handshake eased +his mind at once. + +Fenton led the way into the smoking-room, selected a couple of chairs in +the further corner, then held out his cigar case. "Have a smoke?" he +said. + +Jimmy helped himself, and, for a minute or two, they smoked in silence; +then: + +"This is a bit of an upset, Jimmy," Joseph remarked; getting no reply +beyond a curt nod, he went on, "I'm not going to talk to you about the +moral side of it--I expect your sisters have done that, too much +perhaps--but what is this girl going to do now? You can't let her +starve." + +"Ida and May say she ought to," Jimmy answered grimly. The elder man +made a gesture of annoyance. "I know. Ida told me, and we disagreed." He +paused and stared at the smoke curling upwards from his cigar, as though +trying to find inspiration in it. He was always a little slow and +awkward in his speech, and now he seemed worse than ever; but at last he +went on: "Look here, Jimmy, I went through much the same sort of thing +myself, before I was engaged to your sister, so I understand. You see? +My people found out and sent me abroad; and I didn't hear of the girl +again until it was too late." He sighed heavily, and stared once more at +the cigar smoke. + +Jimmy looked up. "What had happened?" he asked. + +Joseph started. "She had drowned herself." He spoke very quietly, but +none the less Jimmy realised what the memory meant to this man whom he +had always thought a little dull and prosaic. "When I let them ship me +away--I was only a youngster at the time--I thought they would help her +to get a fresh start, but they didn't. It's spoilt my life, and that's +why I don't want yours spoilt. At least give her the chance to go +right." He drew a packet of bank-notes from his pocket. "Here's fifty to +go on with. Come to me when you want some more. Only, send her right +away, where you won't be tempted to go and see her. You must drop it +now. There can be no question of your marrying her; and there's only +misery in this free love, as you, yourself, have seen." + +Jimmy held out his hand gratefully. "It's awfully good of you, Joseph. +I was coming to you for a loan when I got your wire. She,"--somehow he +could not bring himself to mention Lalage's name,--"she is only too +anxious to get away from town, and this money will make it possible. I +suppose in time she'll get something to do; but there's been no time to +make plans yet." + +"Well, let me know when you want some more money. Write to the office, +not to the house. I only wish you had asked me before this happened. +I've been pretty successful, at least in business; but that's not +everything." He paused and then went on, in short, jerky sentences. +"Don't marry a saint, Jimmy. They're better to watch than to live with. +Your sister never forgives anything, and that's a big mistake. It makes +life hard sometimes. I suppose I'm getting a bit old, and I feel things. +The doctor says I must be careful." + +Jimmy glanced at him keenly; although his mind was full of his own +troubles, it had struck him that Joseph looked far from well. "Is there +anything special the matter?" he asked. + +Joseph nodded. "Heart," he answered briefly. "Well, I'm glad I've seen +you. Don't say anything about it to Ida. I think I'll go up now, I'm +feeling a little tired. Good night, Jimmy. Give her a chance to go +straight, and then try to forget her." + +It was the following afternoon, when Jimmy got back to the club after +having seen Lalage off at the station, that he found a note from May +awaiting him. + +"You will be shocked to hear," May wrote, "that Joseph was discovered +dead in bed this morning. The doctor says it was heart disease. I need +hardly say that Ida is terribly upset." + +Two or three days later, Jimmy learnt that his brother-in-law had left +him a thousand pounds. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII + + +Dr. Gregg pulled up his trap and hailed the man who was stalking along +on the other side of the road. + +"Are you going my way, Grierson? Can I give you a lift? Right. Whoa, +mare, stand still. It's some time since I saw you, Grierson. Been away?" + +Jimmy, who was already climbing into the dog-cart, did not answer until +the question was repeated, then, "Yes," he said rather unwillingly. +"I've been over to Paris for two or three days." + +The doctor drew his ragged-looking grey eyebrows down until they formed +almost a straight line. "The old game," he growled. + +The young man was staring away over the hedge at the sweep of country +beyond, and replied without looking round. "Yes, as you say, the old +game--the inevitable game, if you like that better. The only difference +being that it was liqueur brandy this time instead of whisky." + +"Silly fool." The doctor was not noted for his gentle speech. "Silly +fool, you know what I told you, that it means death in your case, with +perhaps a spell of lunacy first--that is, if you're not really a lunatic +already. You had better get some other medical man to attend you next +time." He slashed at an overhanging bough with his frayed old whip, and +apparently the action relieved him, for he went on in a very different +voice, "How's the book getting on? Is it published yet?" + +"It's coming out next week," Jimmy answered. "I got an advance copy +to-day. They've bound it and made it up rather nicely." + +The doctor nodded. "So they ought to. It's good stuff, but you would +never have written it at all if it hadn't been for me." The thought +seemed to bring back his grievances, for he went on querulously, "Why do +you always go to Paris or Brussels or some place like that? Can't you +find enough bad liquor and bad company in London, at far less cost?" + +Jimmy flushed. "Look here, Gregg," he began angrily, then broke off with +a bitter laugh. "I suppose I've no right to take offence at you, after +all. I never go to London, haven't been there for a year, I loathe the +place." + +"Bad memories, eh?" The doctor jerked the words out as he guided his +horse past a big dray. + +"Bad memories," Jimmy assented wearily. "The worst of bad memories." + +"That's the advantage of being a medical man." They had just passed the +dray and were coming to the outskirts of the little country town. "We +understand what it means, you see, and when a woman lets us down, we +don't make it worse, as you are doing. Oh, I know you didn't say +anything about a woman, but I know, too, that you meant one. It's a poor +compliment to her if she's any good, and if she isn't, why worry?" + +Jimmy did not answer, and the doctor changed the subject abruptly, as +was his way. "Did they tell you that Drylands, the big house close to +your cottage, was let at last? You'll have some society now. I hear +they're people who entertain a lot." + +"What is their name?" Jimmy demanded. + +"Something not unlike your own--Grimston, I think." + +Jimmy shrugged his shoulders. "Never heard of them, and, anyway, it +probably wouldn't affect me. The neighbourhood as a whole hasn't exactly +tumbled over itself in its anxiety to make my acquaintance." + +"That's your own fault," the doctor retorted. "You haven't given the +neighbourhood much encouragement to know you, although you would be +welcome enough. You're a surly brute in many ways, Grierson." + +"Thanks," Jimmy answered with a hard laugh. "At least you're outspoken. +And now this is my destination, the news agent's shop. I'll try to +follow your professional advice--for as long as I can." + +The doctor grunted something unintelligible and drove on. It was market +day, and there were several farmers he wanted to interview before the +excitement, or the local ale, or a combination of both, rendered their +ideas a little more vague than at ordinary times. + + * * * * * + +It was a year since Jimmy had taken the cottage a mile outside the +sleepy little town. He had gone there in the first place because it was +far removed from everyone and everything he knew, and in some ways the +experiment had proved a success. The deaf old woman who came in to do +his cooking and housework worried him little, and apparently did not +gossip about his actions or his habits; whilst the three rooms he had +furnished were more than sufficient for his needs. + +At first, on hearing of Joseph Fenton's legacy, he had thought of going +abroad again, of seeking oblivion of the past few months in travel and +excitement; but a chance remark of May's spoken at Joseph Fenton's +funeral, the only occasion on which he had met any of the Griersons +since the interview at Walter's office, had shown him that the family +would welcome his departure, that it even regarded voluntary exile as +the proper course for him to take under the circumstances, and, if only +for that reason, he determined to stay. Probably he would have stayed in +any case, for, though he had cut himself adrift from Lalage, had never +seen her since she left London, and heard from her but seldom--brief, +gentle little notes which invariably made him break his promise to +her--all the old wild jealousy remained. It was torture whilst he was in +England, but he felt it would mean madness if there were the ocean +between them. His love for her was dead, or at least he told himself so, +that part of love which comes from the joy of possession, which brings +with it peace and courage, and a good comrade in the never-ending +struggle against fate; but the other part, the fear and the hopelessness +and the fever, remained with him always. + +Once, and once only, he had had Lalage watched. He had lain awake night +after night until his jealousy had culminated in his sending down a +private detective. He had read the report--which was wholly in her +favour, even the church working party of the village in which she was +living being unable to rake up any charge against her--with an +unutterable sense of shame and self-contempt, and then had thrust it +hurriedly into the fire; but instead of bringing him peace it gave him +another memory to brood over, and at times to try and drown. + +Lalage's fears had only been too well founded. The locality was healthy +enough, the doctor had said with almost brutal frankness the first time +Jimmy had occasion to consult him; and then he had gone on to diagnose +his patient's case without mincing his words. + +"You don't show it outwardly, at least not to a layman, but any medical +man would see what was the matter with you. What makes you drink?" + +Jimmy had shrugged his shoulders, half-ashamed, half-irritated. "Habit, +I suppose," he had answered, whereupon the other had growled. + +"A confoundedly bad and stupid habit. The sooner you get some new ones +the better. You write, don't you? How do you expect to make a success of +it when you're sapping your brain power in this fool's way?" + +He had added a few more things, pointed and true, but none the less they +had parted good friends, and for a time Jimmy tried to fight his enemy, +remembering his promise to Lalage; but it was always the same in the +end. His black hour would come on him, and he would recall his great +treason, and tell himself bitterly that she had been the first to set +the example in the matter of broken faith. + +Whatever fears May might have had on the point--and the matter certainly +had worried her a good deal during the last twelve months--there had +never been any question of Jimmy going back to Lalage. True, he had +broken away from the Grierson tradition when he went to live at the +flat, had thrown that tradition to the winds, but still he had never +repudiated it openly, and in the end if he had not actually gone back to +his own people, at least he had recognised that the standards of his own +people were right. He was ashamed of himself, even more ashamed of +Lalage. He saw his conduct--and hers--in its true light, its stupidity, +and its immorality, and in the days following Joseph Fenton's death he +had reached the nadir of contrition and misery, and would have made +confession, and sought for absolution, had the family given him the +chance. He was in the mood for it, being run-down and broken-hearted. +But Joseph's death had altered the focus of things for the moment, +making Jimmy's affairs a secondary consideration, and after the reading +of the will, Joseph's legacy had effectually destroyed any hope of +peace, at least as far as Ida was concerned. Fenton had left, it is +true, nearly a hundred thousand to his wife, but the odd thousand to +Jimmy almost neutralised the generosity of his other bequests, at least +in Ida's sight, and Ida's personality dominated the whole family for the +time being. + +Curiously enough, no one knew of Jimmy's last meeting with Joseph. At +first Jimmy had held his peace about it, not wishing in any way to add +to Ida's troubles; then, when he found that his own misdeeds were +supposed to have preyed on his brother-in-law's mind and hastened his +death, he continued to keep silence, in a kind of savage contempt. He, +at least, knew what Joseph's feelings had been, and all his sympathy and +all his regrets were for the dead man, and not for the saint, who, after +the manner of her kind, had understood nothing and forgiven nothing. + +Yet, none the less, he would gladly have made peace with the family, +just as May and Walter would have made peace with him, had Ida's +bitterness not rendered that so hard as to be almost impossible. She was +too good a woman to overlook his sin, or to allow anyone else to +overlook it. She believed in the punishment of the sinner, not in his +pardon, and she did not think that Jimmy had suffered enough; possibly +she believed that he had not suffered at all, for had he not in the end +received a thousand pounds which should, by rights, have gone to her own +children? So, though he had repudiated Lalage to pacify his people, +and--it must be admitted also--to satisfy his own conscience, his only +reward had been a ghastly sense of isolation, both from his own world, +where the Grierson tradition rules, and from that other world into which +he had strayed for a few short never-to-be-forgotten months. + +Jimmy had turned a little grey during the last year, and the boyish +charm had gone out of his face. Alas! he had grown careless as regarded +his appearance, and he had ceased to trouble about a number of little +things on the observance of which Lalage had once insisted. He never +worried as to whether his boots were cleaned or no, and he only shaved +when he was going into the little town. After all, what did it matter? +He had no friends, and he wanted none; society, or at any rate women's +society, had ceased to be a factor in his life. + +On the other hand, success had come to him professionally, though it +meant very little to him, or very little compared with what it would +have meant in the London days, when half the income he was making now +would have seemed wealth. Joseph's legacy had allowed him breathing +space. He had quitted Fleet Street finally, abandoned all thought of +journalism, and gone in for the writing of short stories. Some quality +in the latter, possibly the cynical outlook on life which coloured them +all, caught the fancy of editors accustomed to the milk-and-water +optimism of the average writer, and in a few months his work was not +only selling, but was actually in demand. Moreover, he had written a +novel, and, his luck still holding good, had placed it with the second +publisher to whom he offered it; but even that success had given him no +sense of elation; and, when he had come to read the proofs, he had found +himself wishing that he had put the manuscript into the fire. It was not +the book he had dreamed of doing, the book he had so often discussed +with Lalage. The doctor, who had also seen the proofs, thought highly of +it; the publisher was urging him to get on with another; but he, +himself, knew well that the book lacked something. He had been afraid to +give it life by drawing on his own experience. He had been so anxious +not to widen the breach with his family that he had ended by writing a +novel for Griersons. As Jimmy walked homewards after his meeting with +the doctor, he found himself wondering what Lalage would think of his +novel, whether she would feel pride, or grief, or contempt. Somehow, +although she had no part in his life now, he was more afraid of her +judgment than of that of anyone else. "Lalage's author," she had called +him in the old days, and she had always believed in him. "I know you +will write nice books for Lalage, by and by; because you're very, very +clever"--she had said so more than once, when he had seemed to be losing +heart over his work in the _Record_ office. And now he had written the +book--in which Lalage had had no part. Unconsciously, he quickened his +pace, as if to get away from the thought, and, perhaps for that reason, +he did not notice a motor-car which was coming up behind him. When the +horn was sounded, he merely drew into the hedge and did not look round. +The car passed him, slowly on account of a flock of sheep which was +coming out of a gate a little way ahead, and he noted, without the +slightest sense of interest, that there were a couple of well-dressed +women in the tonneau; consequently, he was greatly surprised when one of +the women called to the driver to stop, then looked back, and beckoned +excitedly to himself. + +"Mr. Grierson, Mr. Grierson--Jimmy!" she cried. + +As he came up, she raised the heavy veil she was wearing, and he found +himself looking into the laughing eyes of Ethel Grimmer. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV + + +Mrs. Grimmer shook hands very cordially. "This is an unexpected +pleasure," she said. "Who would have dreamt of seeing you down here!" +then, without waiting for his explanation, she turned to her companion. +"Vera, you remember Mr. Grierson, don't you? May Marlow's brother. +Jimmy, I hope you haven't been so rude as to forget Miss Farlow. You met +her at our house, on that one visit you paid us, before you suddenly +went away and lost yourself." + +Jimmy flushed, and raised his hat again. He remembered the pretty, +rather prim-looking girl as the daughter of May's favourite rector, and +he remembered, too, Ethel's outspoken advice about his possible +matrimonial plans. + +Vera Farlow bowed, a little severely, but Ethel Grimmer gave neither of +the others the chance to speak. "I've often asked May how you were +getting on, but she always seemed vague as to where you were. She said +you were living in the country in cottages, so as to be able to work +quietly; but I never, never thought of finding you down here. Do you +live in a cottage now; or have you made so much money out of those +nice, wicked stories of yours that you've bought a big house?" + +Jimmy laughed. "No, I've still got a cottage, the only cottage I ever +had. It's about half a mile from here." + +"How jolly! Do jump in now and come along with us. Then you shall tell +us all about the place and its people. We've just taken a furnished +house--Drylands, I suppose you know it?--to see if we like the +neighbourhood. If we do, Billy wants to build a nice place for +ourselves. He's going to retire from business at the end of the year. I +tell him it's better, for he can afford to, and if he stays in the City, +he'll only get stodgy, and perhaps lose his money. And now do come up +and have some tea with us, unless you're very busy, which I can't +understand you being. Billy won't be down till Saturday, and I persuaded +Vera to come with me, so that I shouldn't be too dull." + +Jimmy went with them willingly, and, even if he had wished to raise an +objection, Ethel Grimmer would have given him no hearing. She was +obviously delighted at the meeting; and, in the end, Jimmy stayed, not +only to tea, but to dinner as well. + +"Never mind about dressing," Ethel said. "Vera and I won't change +anyway--you see we only got down this morning--and it's so nice to meet +someone one knows." + +It was the first time since he had left town that Jimmy had mixed +socially with his own world, and he watched anxiously for anything which +would show whether Ethel knew about Lalage; but before dinner was over +he realised, with a sense of relief, amounting almost to gratitude, that +May and Ida had kept the knowledge of the scandal to the circle of the +family. Ethel was not even curious as to his reasons for avoiding the +Marlow house; detesting May cordially, she found it quite natural that +Jimmy should prefer to go his own way. + +Vera Farlow thawed considerably before the evening was over. She was a +well-read girl, and at home it was but seldom that she met any men who +had interests outside their business or their sports. Jimmy was an +entirely new type to her, and yet, as she was well aware, he belonged to +a family whose standing was above question. Had a man of whom she knew +nothing talked as Jimmy talked, she would probably have regarded him +with a certain degree of suspicion; but there was no question of that in +the case of Mrs. Marlow's brother. Jimmy, on his part, was distinctly +attracted--Ethel saw that long before he got up to take a reluctant +farewell; and being entirely loyal to her own husband, she felt not the +slightest jealousy of Vera Farlow; in fact, as she went upstairs that +evening she was wondering whether it might not be possible to turn the +scheme, which she had once propounded more or less in a spirit of +banter, into an accomplished fact. It would be a good thing for Jimmy, a +good thing for Vera, and, perhaps most important of all, it would annoy +May Marlow and Mrs. Fenton intensely. Ethel went to bed to dream of a +gorgeous wedding, in which she played the part of fairy godmother; and +she awoke next morning more than ever determined to arrange the match. +Vera had money, Jimmy had brains, and they both belonged to families of +position. She felt she almost owed it to Jimmy to find him a wife, +whilst Vera was her dearest girl friend. Billy would help, she knew +that. Billy always did what she told him, and though he sometimes +spoiled things by laughing at the wrong time, for which she scolded him +duly and without mercy, she knew he meant to do his best. His impending +retirement had been one of her greatest triumphs. She was sick to death +of the circle of City people, of what she flippantly called "Square +milers," and that had been the main reason she had given to her husband +in urging him to give up business and go into the country. + +"Let's go amongst people who don't have to catch trains, Billy," she +had urged. "I'm sure you don't get half enough enjoyment out of life +now, going up to town every day," and Billy had finally given way, on +those grounds, never suspecting that at the back of her mind was always +the fear of his being drawn into speculation and coming to grief. He was +not very brilliant. Ethel knew that well, and she knew, too, what +measure of sympathy the City has for those who fail. + +The night he dined at Drylands, Jimmy barely thought of Lalage. He was +excited, and yet, at the same time, conscious of a feeling of +restfulness, somewhat akin to that he had experienced when he first saw +the shores of England on his return from South America. Once again, it +seemed as if he had been a long time in the wilderness, and was getting +back to his own people at last. Vera Farlow was of those who stand above +suspicion. It was impossible to picture her knowing anything about life +in a flat; and, whilst the memory of the past gave him a momentary sense +of shame, this was quickly put aside. It was all dead, done with; and, +if any women had a part in his future, they would be those like Vera +Farlow, women whom the Grierson family would accept and respect. + +When he turned in, Jimmy helped himself to one whisky, and one only, +instead of the usual three or four, or even more, which he took when a +fit of sleeplessness was on him. After all, old Dr. Gregg had been +right. He was playing a fool's game. He awoke in the morning feeling +much fresher than usual, and fully determined to call at Drylands on +some excuse or other. As a rule, he was not down till after the postman +had called; but on this occasion he met that worthy at the front door. + +"Fine morning, sir. Three for you to-day," the official said. + +Jimmy took the letters and glanced at the addresses. One he crumpled up +and tossed unopened into the waste paper basket, recognising the +envelope of a press-cutting bureau, which circularised him regularly +once a fortnight; but he looked at the others with a frown, for though +the first was from Kelly, whose letters were always welcome, the +remaining one had been addressed to his club in Lalage's unmistakable +handwriting. + +For a moment, Jimmy handled the letters with an air of hesitation; then, +as though he feared some shock, and wanted to brace himself up to meet +it, he went to the decanter and poured out some whisky, which he +swallowed neat; yet, even then, he opened Kelly's letter first. There +proved to be nothing special in it--congratulations on his book, some +caustic comments on Fleet Street and its ways, and the always-repeated +invitation to come to town, and stay with Kelly and his wife. + +"My wife says she feels sure you must be in love with someone down +there, otherwise you could never stand the dulness of the country after +town; but I always say that your fate is to marry into a solid City +family, now that you have missed going to the other extreme." + +Jimmy frowned as he read the last sentence. He had never given Kelly a +hint, and no one else could have told him. Possibly, it was the thought +of that which worried him, and made him turn to the decanter again; at +any rate, he had another whisky before he opened Lalage's letter. It had +been very different in the early days of their acquaintance; then, he +had torn the envelopes open eagerly, and almost learnt the contents by +heart before he thought of his other correspondence. + +Jimmy had never given Lalage his address. All her letters went to the +club, whilst those he wrote to her he sent on under cover to one of the +waiters, who posted them in town. He, himself, never understood his own +reasons for this caution. It was not because he feared her blackmailing +him--even in his most bitter moments he had never thought of that; and +he knew her too well to be afraid she might pay him a visit unasked in +the hope of recapturing his affection; but probably it was due to some +vague feeling that it kept them further apart in spirit, helped to +preserve the barrier between them. Not that she had ever attempted to +break that barrier down. On the other hand, she seemed to have accepted +his decision as right, or at any rate as unalterable, and at times that +was the most horrible part of all to him, for it suggested the +possibility of someone succeeding him in her love, and, as she had long +since declined to take any more money from him, he had no right to +control her. + +Lalage wrote from a little Yorkshire town, nearly two hundred miles +distant from Jimmy. "You know I told you I had a post as nurse-companion +to an old invalid lady. I am very grieved to say she died about three +weeks ago. She was the sweetest, best woman I ever met; she took me +without references, because she said she liked my face; and I really +believe her greatest sorrow at dying was due to the thought that she +could leave me nothing. All she had was a small annuity. Yet, in another +way, I was fortunate; for almost at once I got a situation in a draper's +shop, the only drapers here. It is not very much to boast of, I know; +but still I am making my own living honestly, and it is the sort of +place where one can stay all one's life. I am looking at the papers +every day to see if your book is out. I do wish you the best of success +with it, Jimmy," and then, without any conventional phrase before it, +came the simple signature, "Lalage." + +Jimmy did not touch his breakfast that morning. Instead, he sat very +still, staring out of the window, trying to picture Lalage--who had once +been his Lalage--serving behind the counter in a stuffy little draper's +shop. "The sort of place where you can stay all your life." Would she, +could she, stand the idea of such a future? Would she go on alone +always, whilst he would be getting on in the world, climbing the ladder +to such fame as novelists get in these days of many novels, getting back +into his own world, and possibly----? + +There was a knock at the front door, and as if in confirmation of his +thought, he found the Grimmer chauffeur standing on the step. + +"Note for you, sir," he said. + +Jimmy tore it open. "Vera and I are going for a run round the country," +Ethel wrote. "Will you come with us?" + +Jimmy turned round to the hat rack and took down his cap and overcoat. + +"Have you brought the car down for me?" he asked. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV + + +Mr. Grimmer looked up with a grin. "I don't know what the old joker will +say if you bring your scheme to a head," he remarked. + +Ethel, who was standing in front of the fireplace, smoking daintily, +tried hard to look shocked. + +"My dear Billy," she drawled. "That is hardly the way to speak of an +Honorary Canon who expects to become a bishop, if his father-in-law +lives long enough to get into another Cabinet. Then, for one thing, +Jimmy won't propose for some time yet, not until Vera has been away and +come back again; and when they are engaged what can the old joker, as +you call him, do to me?" + +"He might preach about you," her husband suggested. + +Ethel shrugged her shoulders. "I shouldn't be there to hear him; it +would make May Marlow blush and send that hateful Ida Fenton white with +passion. By the way, did I tell you that Ida had taken a house in town? +They think she's going to be married again, to that horrid, clean-shaven +man with the damp hands, who's always collecting for some mission or +other. You must know him, Billy. Surely you do; we used to call him the +Additional Curate. Well, to go back to Jimmy. He wouldn't give Vera up, +and her money is under her own control." + +"He had to give you up," Grimmer said. + +His wife laughed. "He never had me to give up, really. Besides, I hardly +knew you then, Billy, so it didn't count, did it?... Billy, you must not +behave in that ridiculous way; you have crushed my flowers, and the gong +will go in a moment." + +It was a fortnight since Jimmy had met Ethel Grimmer again, and during +that time he had not written a line. Every day, and often twice a day, +he had been up at Drylands, at first, because Ethel had insisted on his +attendance; and latterly, because it seemed the natural thing to do. His +original feeling had been one of sincere relief at the break in the +monotony of his exile, and he had been equally glad to see both Vera and +Ethel; but after a while Ethel seemed to become almost uninteresting by +comparison with the younger woman. He was not passionately in love, as +he had been with Lalage. The thought of Vera gave him no sleepless +nights. In fact, now he slept far better than he had done for many +months past. He had a sense of restfulness to which he had long been a +stranger, as though he had taken some mental opiate to soothe the pain +of remembrance. London, and the flat, and the grinding drudgery of Fleet +Street, the miserable little creditors worrying at the door--all these +seemed now to belong to some former existence, to be part of the life of +a different Jimmy Grierson. Vera knew nothing of such things; and, in +her society, he himself managed to forget them. + +Lalage's letter was still unanswered. Day after day he meant to write; +but, somehow, there was never time. He wanted to think it over +carefully, he kept on telling himself, and then deliberately turned his +mind to something else. + +He had smartened himself up considerably so far as appearance went. +True, once or twice, it gave him a twinge of remorse when he found that +he was doing again the very things on which Lalage had insisted with +gentle patience in those now-distant days, observing little conventions +which he had dropped during his sojourn abroad, and had lately dropped +anew. Then, too, he was drinking far less. He did not need the spirit +now to bring him oblivion, and he did want to keep his hand steady and +his eye clear. Vera had once spoken very strongly on the subject of +intemperance, which she knew only in theory; and Jimmy had listened to +her words with respectful contrition. She would never forgive a man who +drank, she said, and he had gone a little cold at the thought. Yet, +forgetting that Lalage had known of his failing, and had tried to help +him fight his demon, he told himself that Vera's was the right view for +a girl of her position. She was too good and pure to come into contact +with the ugly things of life. + +Already, he had made up his mind to ask her to marry him, later on, when +she came back from a promised visit of indefinite duration. There was no +hurry, Ethel had told him so frankly, no other suitor being in the +running. At first, the thought of the past troubled him a little, in the +abstract, as a kind of treason to Vera; but, after a while, he put that +thought aside. She need never know, and Lalage had gone out of his life +now. + +His book had been published a week, and the one or two reviews which had +appeared had been satisfactory, almost flattering, though one reviewer +apparently voiced the general opinion when he said, "Mr. Grierson seems +anxious to uphold the conventions of modern society, and yet he writes +of them without conviction, as though he would like to believe in them, +and could not manage to do so." + +Vera had frowned over the notice. "What rubbish, Mr. Grierson. It is as +much as to say that you would write one of the nasty kind of book, if +you dared. I think yours is very, very good and perfectly sincere." +Whereupon Jimmy had gone home well pleased, feeling that, at last, he +was receiving absolution, if not from his own family, at least from his +own people. + +When Vera went back to town, Ethel deputed Jimmy to see her off at the +station, alleging that she herself had a headache. + +"It's only _au revoir_," Jimmy said, as he shook hands at the railway +carriage door. + +Miss Farlow smiled brightly. "That's all. I am coming down again very +soon. Father is going away for a couple of months' holiday; and, as he +is taking my younger sister, Florence, Ethel has made me promise to come +down here. She is awfully good-hearted, isn't she?" + +Jimmy nodded emphatically. "She is indeed. One of the best I know." + +As the train steamed out of the station, he stood a full minute deep in +thought, staring at it until it disappeared round a slight curve; then +he turned to find the doctor watching him with a grim smile. + +"Hullo, Grierson," the old man said. "I've hardly seen you lately, only +caught glimpses of you whizzing past in a motor, surrounded by +millinery." Then he scanned the other's face critically. "You're +looking better. Found the cure for it, eh? I always thought that both +the reason and the remedy would prove to wear skirts." + +Jimmy flushed awkwardly. He did not altogether admire Dr. Gregg's +frankness; and yet he was grateful for the implied testimony to his +reformation, so he answered with a laugh, and, after a few minutes' +conversation, willingly consented to go up to dinner at the doctor's +that night. After all, it would be dull alone in the cottage, and he +knew that Ethel would not want him, as she, too, was dining out. + +The doctor was an old bachelor, or at least the town assumed him to be +one. True, when he had first bought the practice, thirty years +previously, he had made no definite statement on the matter; and, for a +time, people had shaken their heads, and, on that purely negative +evidence, had done what they called "drawing their own conclusions." His +wife had run away from him, and they would hear of her one day, in +connection with some scandal, and she would allege, and probably prove, +that he had ill-used her. However, as months went by, and they did not +hear--in fact they never heard anything--they admitted they had been +wrong, and began to pity him as the husband of an incurable lunatic, who +was confined in an asylum near London. But even that story had died a +lingering death from sheer want of nourishment, and long before Jimmy +had appeared in the neighbourhood, even the mothers' meetings had ceased +to discuss the doctor's private affairs. He was just the gruff and +well-beloved friend of everyone in the place, a man of whom even the +preacher in the Peculiar People's chapel spoke with respect. + +"Old friends of yours at Drylands, after all?" the doctor asked +abruptly, as they sat smoking in his study after dinner. + +Jimmy nodded. "Yes, you got the name wrong, you see, and, naturally, I +didn't recognise it. I've known the Grimmers, or at least Mrs. Grimmer, +all my life." + +"It's a bad thing to get out of touch with people you know," the other +went on. "A very bad thing. Never have a family quarrel, if you can +avoid it, Grierson, or, rather, never have another." + +"How do you know I have had one?" Jimmy demanded. + +The old man smiled. "You've as good as told me so, a score of times. Bad +things family quarrels. After all, your relations are your own flesh and +blood." + +Jimmy did not answer; latterly, he had begun to realise the truth of +what the other was saying; and he knew more than ever the value of +peace. + +For a little while they smoked in silence, then, "How did you happen to +light on this town in the first instance?" the doctor asked. + +"I hardly know myself," Jimmy answered. "I wanted some quiet place, and +someone--I have never been able to remember who it was--had once +mentioned it to me as the ideal spot. The name had stuck in my memory, +so I came down here on chance and liked it from the first. I must say, +though, I've found it dull at times." + +"No place is dull when you know it well enough," the old man retorted. +"Yes, I mean it. You, as a writer, ought to understand that. It's only +dull if you make it so for yourself by being out of sympathy with its +people.... How's the book getting on?" + +"Pretty well, I believe. The publishers say they're quite satisfied with +it for a first novel. One doesn't expect to make a big splash at the +start." + +"Some never make a splash at all, even though they do good work. I knew +one." The doctor shook his head sadly. "He lived in this town, only a +few doors from here. He used to write scientific books, and was admitted +to be the best man in England on his own subject; yet he got more and +more hard up all the time. I don't know what he and his daughter really +did live on for the last year or two. It ended in something very like a +tragedy. Ah, it was a bad business, a terrible business," and he sighed +heavily. + +Jimmy's lips seemed suddenly to have become dry and hard; but his voice +was almost normal as he asked, "What was it, doctor?" + +The old man began to fill a pipe with rather exaggerated care. "It was +the daughter," he answered, without looking up. "She was a sweet girl, +the best, most unselfish girl I ever knew; but curiously young in many +ways, dangerously young--you understand? She had been brought up alone +with him--no woman to tell her things. That's bad. Confound it all, +sir,"--he raised his voice in a sudden explosion of wrath,--"parents +have no right to keep their girls in ignorance. It's criminal +negligence; at least it was in this case. They were desperately poor, +and he was dying; wanted all sorts of things." He paused again and made +a show of lighting his pipe, but the match burnt out ineffectually, then +he went on. "They hadn't a shilling, and none of the tradesmen would +trust them. And a man, a young scoundrel belonging to this very town, +offered her ten pounds to go away with him for a couple of days, showed +her the gold.... What was that?" he demanded quickly as Jimmy's pipe +stem snapped suddenly in his hands. + +Jimmy himself had shifted slightly, so that the lamplight did not fall +on his face; but the old man was not looking at him as he resumed his +story. + +"She said she was going to town, to beg his publishers for money, and +he, luckily, died believing it. But someone else had seen her; and the +women hunted her out. She fled to London, no money, no friends, and you +can guess what must have happened. Poor child!" + +"What happened to the man?" Jimmy asked in a voice which made the doctor +give a grim little nod of approval as he answered: + +"I felt that way myself. He abandoned her like a skunk, and his people +threw the blame on her for tempting him. Tempting him! He had a motor +smash soon after, and I tried my utmost to pull him through, because he +would have been a hideously disfigured cripple; but he died, and I never +regretted a patient more." + +Jimmy got up abruptly. He knew now who it was who had mentioned that +town to him, and unconsciously sent him to live there. He had not the +slightest doubt in his own mind what the answer would be when he asked: + +"What was their name?" + +"Penrose," the doctor answered. "She was Lalage Penrose." + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI + + +Jimmy's mind was in a fever as he walked home that night; in fact, he +felt it would be useless to try to sleep, so he went on, past the +cottage, past Drylands, where the lights were all out, right to the next +village, three miles away. But whilst he stalked along he gradually grew +calmer. Things seemed to become simpler, more easy to bear, and to +understand. He saw Lalage now in a different light, and he felt that, as +her character was partially cleared, so, in some subtle way, his own sin +became less, and he need no longer have any compunction about asking +Vera Farlow to be his wife. + +True, for one wild moment, his old love for Lalage seemed to surge up +within him; but he was passing Drylands on his way back at the time, +and, as he glanced at the windows, the Grierson strain in him asserted +itself triumphantly. He might pity and forgive Lalage; but his wife must +be one whom he could take anywhere, introduce anywhere; there must be no +horrible fear of the past coming to light again, and, possibly ruining, +not only his own career, but that of his children as well. He thought +of Lalage tenderly, but almost with condescension; and, when he turned +in finally, Vera Farlow--who belonged to the Grierson world--was +uppermost in his mind. Consequently, he slept well and awoke, not to +brood over what Dr. Gregg had told him, but to speculate on a future in +which Vera should play the main part. + +Vera had money of her own, Jimmy knew that, and, unquestionably, the +fact weighed with him, not from a sordid point of view, but because it +made the risks of marriage so much smaller. There would be no fear of +his wife being left penniless, dependent on the charity of relatives. As +for his own prospects, he was inclined to take a rosy view of them. He +had made a good start, and that, as he was well aware, was more than +half the battle. Another year, and he ought to be earning enough to +justify him in marrying. + +It would be very pleasant to have his own house, a permanent home. Vera +had plenty of friends, and he knew that there were many others who would +be glad enough to meet the rising author. They would soon have a +position, especially if, as seemed probable, Canon Farlow did get the +first vacant bishopric. + +Jimmy had not much fear as to what Vera's answer would be. They had got +to know one another very well in that fortnight at Drylands, and much +of her almost prim reserve had already disappeared. She was twenty-five, +or thereabouts, quite old enough to know her own mind, and it was not +likely that her father, having three other unmarried daughters on his +hands, would offer any serious objection. May, too, would probably be +pleased when she came to look at the matter in the right light, because, +as he told himself with a cynical little smile, it would prove that the +Lalage episode was definitely at an end. And then, for a moment, he +thought of Lalage again, the Lalage of whom the doctor had told him, +young, almost childish in her inexperience, sacrificing her innocence +for the sake of her dying father. Suddenly he got up, feeling half +choked. If only that man had not died after the motor smash, if only he +had lived to suffer. + +He walked up and down the little room several times, trying to regain +his self-control, trying to put Lalage out of his mind, and to think +only of Vera. But it was impossible. Phrases the doctor had used seemed +to be engraved on his memory. Almost against his will, he found himself +repeating them, and with them came a mental picture of Lalage's pitiful +shame and grief when the real meaning of what she had done came home to +her. And then the horror of it, the crowning tragedy of it all--her +father had died in the end, and she had been driven to the streets of +London. + +He had thought he had forgotten, and now he found he remembered +everything. He could see her with the mud squelching through her shoes, +friendless, penniless, homeless, without either references or +experience, tramping hour after hour in the rain, standing outside the +shop window where the big kitchen stoves were on exhibition, trying to +imagine that some of the heat from the fires was reaching her numbed +body; and then someone spoke to her--oh, it was all too hideous. + +He had intended putting in a hard day's work, starting a new novel, but +there could be no question of that now. He picked up the morning paper +and tried to read that, but, somehow, the pages seemed to be one huge +blurr, and, when the letters did come into line, they always formed the +word "Lalage." At last, in sheer desperation, he took his hat, shut up +the cottage, and went into the town. In the smoking-room of the +principal hotel, he met several men he knew slightly. As a rule, he +would merely have nodded to them, but now the old craving for +companionship was on him again, and he greeted them cordially, whilst, +instead of the one drink he had intended to take, he had so many that he +lost count. When, at last, he did come out, he was still sober so far +as external appearance went; and yet perhaps because the sunlight was +bright whilst the smoking-room had been dark, he failed to notice a +carriage containing a couple of ladies whom he had met at Drylands. They +bowed to him, and then, when he did not raise his hat, exchanged meaning +glances. + +The elder, Mrs. Richards, wife of a local magnate, put their thoughts +into words. "We caught sight of him going in there two hours ago, and +now he cannot see us. I had heard a rumour that there was that especial +failing, but I had hoped it wasn't true. Now, however----" She was a +kindly-natured woman, and she broke off with a sigh. + +Her companion nodded. "I wonder if that nice Miss Farlow knows. Mrs. +Grimmer hinted that an engagement was quite possible, and I think +someone ought to warn the girl. It would be a dreadful thing if she +found out too late." + +Jimmy's outbreak was, however, of very short duration. Even as he walked +back to the cottage Vera's influence, or rather, the thought of all that +marriage with Vera would mean, reasserted itself, and the memory of +Lalage began to grow dim again. After all, what was the good of making +himself miserable about the dead past? It could not be changed, and so +the best thing to do was to try and forget it, as far as possible. It +was but a very poor compliment to Vera if, only the day after her +departure, his mind was full of another woman. + +He might pity Lalage, but he was not going to let the remembrance of her +ruin his future. He had a prospect now of regaining what he had lost +when he first met her, and he would be a fool to imperil that prospect +by mere foolish sentiment. Moreover, he would leave that wretched whisky +alone; it was a weak and idiotic habit to drink as he had been drinking, +and the knowledge of it would shock Vera terribly. Men in her world, +which was, after all, his own world too, did not do those things. He saw +it now. Before the Grimmers came down it had been different. For a time, +he had lost all ambition, all sense of self-respect; but contact with +Ethel and Vera had changed all that, had brought out the dormant +Grierson instincts, the passion for order and respectability, and the +comforts of life, and he had grown to detest the old mode of existence. + +One thing was certain; before he proposed to Vera he must break off all +correspondence with Lalage. He told himself so, several times, and tried +to think out the letter he would write. He would send her a cheque for a +fair amount, so that she would have a reserve fund, and then--he would +never hear of her again, never know if she were alive or dead, if she +had enough food, or even if she were married. Suddenly, that same queer, +choking sensation came back, and he got up quickly as if wanting air. He +seemed to hear Lalage's cry on that most ghastly day of his life: "I did +it all for you, Jimmy. I did it all for you." + +And so, in the end, he compromised with his conscience, and wrote her a +briefer letter than usual. Possibly, he might have been surprised had he +known that Lalage cried herself to sleep over that same letter, though +next day, and for many days after, until she heard again, she carried it +in her dress through the long hours of drudgery in the little shop, and +slept with it under her pillow at night. Jimmy's hand had touched that +precious slip of paper. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII + + +Jimmy's engagement to Vera Farlow was an accomplished fact. + +"You have got to thank me for it all, Jimmy," Ethel said, when he came +to her for congratulations. "You would certainly never have done it +alone. In fact, once or twice lately I have been afraid that my +suggestions and advice were going to be wasted after all. Yet, I don't +quite know what to think of you, even now." She put her head on one side +and surveyed him critically. + +"What do you mean?" he asked, smiling. + +Ethel laughed. "I've known you to make love more ardently. Oh, yes. I +have a very good memory. Still, I won't tell Vera. And now I'm going to +write to your sister May and gloat over her. Of course I shall gloat, +because I suggested getting you married off when we first heard you were +coming home, and May got furious with me. Will you write too?" + +Jimmy shook his head. "No, yours will do, at least for a start. I've got +to write to Canon Farlow. Vera says he won't be home from Switzerland +for another week. Otherwise, I would have gone to see him." + +"He's rather an old stick, if I may say that of your beloved's father," +Ethel went on. "You will find that out, and his sermons are very long, +so don't live in his parish if you can help it. You'll have plenty of +church in any case, you poor Jimmy." + +"Why 'poor Jimmy,' when you've just been congratulating me?" + +Ethel gave an impatient little sigh. "I don't know, I'm sure. Now I've +done it I'm wondering if I was right. It's a big responsibility, and you +may both end by hating me ever after. Promise me you won't, Jimmy, do +promise that." Her voice had grown unusually earnest, and her eyes were +suspiciously bright. + +"Of course I promise, Ethel," he said gravely. "But I don't think there +is much fear of my feeling anything except gratitude." + +But Mrs. Grimmer was not satisfied. "I wish I had left it alone. I don't +know how it is, but you're not the old Jimmy any longer, and I can't +understand you. You're not half as happy as you ought to be under the +circumstances. Now, are you?" + +He protested vigorously against the idea, and yet he left her so +entirely unconvinced that, instead of going to Vera, she sought out her +husband and had a good cry on his shoulder. + +"I ought not to have done it, Billy," she sobbed. "If anything goes +wrong when it's too late, Jimmy will take it to heart so terribly. I +wish I wasn't responsible, but I am, and I can't deny it." + +Billy tried to comfort her. "My dear, they seem happy enough over it. I +know Vera is very grateful to you." + +Ethel shrugged her shoulders. "Vera! Oh, she would be happy, because she +doesn't feel very deeply. She never did about anything. It was always +the same with her when she was a child. But Jimmy is different. He's not +in love." + +"Then why did he propose?" Billy retorted. "Was it her money?" + +"No, no," Ethel repudiated the idea emphatically. "Jimmy is not that +sort. I think he proposed because he's been very miserable over +something, and Vera took his thoughts off his other troubles. But he +won't be happy." + +There was no mistaking the conviction in her voice, and, for a moment, +even her husband was moved out of his usual good-humoured complacency; +but he soon recovered and tried to laugh away her fears, without, +however, achieving much success. She was not in a mood to be reassured, +although she contrived to put on a smiling face when she met the newly +engaged pair at dinner. + +Vera was a little inclined to blush, but obviously happy. Jimmy, on the +other hand, was by turns silent, almost moody, and then feverishly +talkative. Vera seemed to notice nothing amiss--possibly she put it down +to natural excitement--but Ethel watched him with anxiety, which she +tried hard to conceal. As she said, the whole thing was her doing. She +had engineered it carefully, and she was, at least in matters like +these, a clever woman. True, once or twice, she felt a slight misgiving, +but she had made up her mind to succeed, and had brushed her fears +aside. Only when Jimmy came with the news that her scheme had become an +accomplished fact did she realise that match-making is a dangerous +occupation. He neither looked nor spoke like a lover who had just been +accepted, but rather like a man who sees the crisis of his life a little +way ahead of him, and is fearful of his own capacity to pass through it. + +Vera was quite satisfied with Jimmy's farewell kiss. Had there been +passion in it she might have been frightened; but, as it was, the caress +he gave her seemed very sweet. She was very proud of this lover of hers, +of his undoubted cleverness, his good looks, and his powers of +conversation. It would be very pleasant to see his name on all the +bookstalls, to know that almost every other girl of her acquaintance +would envy her the possession of her author. So far, she had hardly +thought of marriage and its responsibilities; all that part seemed a +long way off, in the distant future, and, for the moment, she thought +only of the engagement. But as Jimmy walked home in the moonlight, Vera +Farlow was hardly in his mind at all; he was thinking of other kisses he +had given and received, and, try as he would, he could not drive out a +horrible feeling that, every time his lips touched Vera's, he was being +unfaithful to Lalage. It was absurd, wholly ridiculous, he told himself +so savagely; but still a sense of shame and ingratitude remained. +Lalage, who had suffered so much, and, as he realised now, had suffered, +too, for him, was in that shop, the sort of place where one could spend +one's whole life, and he was going to marry Vera Farlow, and cut the +last slender link between himself and the girl he had once loved, was +going to make her a last present, of money, and ask her not to write +again. + +Jimmy let himself into the cottage, fully determined to go through with +the task there and then, to write the letter almost before he had time +to think, and to post it immediately. Yet dawn found him still sitting +at his desk with a pile of cigarette ends and an empty decanter on the +tray, and a blank sheet of paper in front of him. At last, he got up +with a sigh, extinguished the lamp, and stumbled wearily to bed. It was +not that the spirit had affected him--he felt he would have given +anything to have it do so--but he was utterly exhausted mentally, and, +the moment he lay down, he went into a heavy, dreamless sleep, which +lasted until ten o'clock. + +When Jimmy awakened in the morning the first thing he remembered was +that he had promised to meet Vera at eleven. He would have no time for +breakfast, but that did not trouble him, as he would have eaten nothing +in any case. His meal, however, was not the only matter which would have +to be left over. He would only have just sufficient time to shave and +dress and walk up to Drylands; consequently, as he told himself with an +undeniable sense of relief, his letter to Lalage must be put off until +the evening, if not until the following day. + +Vera did not seem to notice anything unusual in his appearance, or, if +she did, she made no remark on it; but when they met Ethel a little +later, that lady scanned his face anxiously, and took the first +opportunity of calling him aside. + +"You didn't sleep, Jimmy. You're worrying about something," she said, +bluntly. + +Jimmy made a rather unsuccessful attempt to laugh. "I'm taking on +responsibilities," he said. "I realise it now, and the letter to Canon +Farlow is still unwritten, although I must do it before the afternoon +post goes out. Vera had better help me, I think. Did you write to May?" + +"Last night, after you had gone," Ethel answered. "It went by the +nine-thirty this morning, so May will know before she goes to bed +to-night." Then she went back to the subject of himself. "What is it you +are worrying about, Jimmy? Is it anything that I can help you with?" + +He shook his head. "There's no trouble, really there isn't. What can +there be? Vera and I both know our own minds, and in another year's time +I ought to be making a decent income. You will be able to point us out +proudly as a couple whose happiness you secured." + +He tried to speak lightly, but he did not convince her in the least; +though she put on a smile when Vera came out again. + +"Jimmy hasn't written to your father yet, Vera," she said. "You had +better take him into the library now, and make him do it at once, or +else he'll keep on putting it off. I know his ways of old. He lacks all +his family's instinct for business-like promptitude. Now, his brother +Walter probably had all such letters ready, or at least drafted out, +before he proposed. Jimmy has none of the Grierson ways, as May will +doubtless tell you." + +Vera frowned slightly. Sometimes Ethel's flippant speech jarred on her a +little. Family matters are treated as serious things in the household of +a canon who has relatives possessing influence; moreover, it was by no +means pleasant to be told that Jimmy was different from the Griersons. +It was almost an implied slur on his respectability. However, before she +had time to make any protest, Ethel had moved off, and Jimmy changed the +current of her thoughts by suggesting that the letter to Canon Farlow +had better be written at once, and she led the way into the library, +well pleased at the idea. + +Possibly because the letter to Lalage would be so terribly difficult to +compose, Jimmy found that to his future father-in-law comparatively +easy. There was not much feeling in it perhaps--even Vera, who read it +with partial eyes, could not help noting the fact--but, after all, it +was in a sense a matter of business; and so she was able to find +consolation in its clear, incisive phrasing. She was glad when it was +finished, more glad still when they had strolled down to the pillar box +outside the gates, and dropped the envelope in it. Their relations were +on a definite footing now, and she had little doubt that her father +would be well pleased. Of course, Jimmy was still a poor man; he had +been perfectly frank on that point; but still he was making a name, and, +as he said, he would now have a still stronger incentive to work. +Altogether, she was quite satisfied with her prospects, and convinced +that she had done a wise thing in saying "Yes." Perhaps, somewhere at +the back of her mind, there was sense of disappointment, a feeling that +both she and her lover were wanting in enthusiasm; but, if she did +experience anything of the sort, she crushed it down resolutely, knowing +well that passion is closely allied to wickedness, if it is not even a +form of wickedness. She had been taught from childhood that sentiment is +of necessity either sinful or ridiculous, and that the basis of a +successful marriage--which was her people's phrase for a happy +marriage--is equality of position, combined with business instincts on +the part of the man. People in her world lived to get on; it was a +sacred duty with them; failure to do so was discreditable, almost +criminal, as she had often heard her mother say when engaged in district +visiting amongst the homes of the improvident poor. Jimmy would get on, +she fully believed that, especially when he had a sensible wife to help +him; moreover, he was both good looking and sweet natured; consequently, +she told herself that he was all she could have wished for. It had +never occurred to her that he might have a past, because neither the +Griersons, nor the Farlows, nor anyone in their world, ever had such +things. They seemed to live in a monotonous present of negative virtue, +wholly safe and solid. So she had asked him no questions, and he had +volunteered no confessions. + +The day passed all too quickly for Jimmy, too quickly, not because he +was revelling in the society of his fiancée, but because each hour +brought him nearer the moment when he must write that final letter to +Lalage. He stayed later than usual, so late that Ethel had a hard task +to hide her yawns; but when, at last, he did go back to the cottage, he +made no attempt to carry out what had now become the most hateful task +of his life. + +"It will do in the morning," he muttered as he turned out the lamp. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII + + +May looked up from Ethel's letter with a little cry of indignation. +"Jimmy is engaged to Vera Farlow, Henry! Did you ever hear of such a +thing! It seems the Grimmers have been staying quite close to Jimmy's +cottage, and Ethel had Vera down on purpose--at least I'm sure she did. +I had no idea they had met Jimmy. He never mentioned it in his last +letter, nor did Ethel when I met her in town." + +Henry Marlow had put down the evening paper and was staring at his wife +solemnly. He scented trouble, possibly unpleasantness, and he was by no +means sure what course he would be expected to take. Had they been alone +it would have been different; but Ida was staying with them, and though +Marlow admired his sister-in-law greatly in the abstract, or at any rate +in a photograph, he was unaffectedly afraid of her, even in his own +house. So he said nothing when May read out Mrs. Grimmer's letter, only +shook his head twice, very gravely, and waited for Mrs. Fenton to speak. + +Ida held out her hand in silence for the letter, which she read through +carefully, then, "It has been a deliberate plot on Ethel Grimmer's +part," she said. "She has gone out of her way to do it. I know she has +got fast and vulgar lately, smoking cigarettes and talking slang; but I +did not think she would do an immoral thing like this." + +Henry, who really had a sneaking admiration for Mrs. Grimmer, went +rather red. "Oh, I say, Ida, that's going a little too far, isn't it?" +he began, but his sister-in-law exchanged a meaning glance with May, and +then cut him short. + +"I beg your pardon, Henry. Have you forgotten Jimmy's conduct in town? +He is hardly the fit husband for an innocent young girl like Vera +Farlow; and, moreover, is he in a position to marry? He has no settled +income, and his only capital was the thousand pounds which Joseph was +foolish enough to leave him. I expect, too, that he has squandered that +already." + +Henry got up abruptly. He had heard that legacy discussed until he +loathed the very mention of it; and now he had no intention of listening +whilst the whole matter was threshed out anew. + +"Well, I'll leave you to talk it over whilst I go and have a smoke," he +said. + +But his wife caught his sleeve. "Dear, you've had a cigar already this +evening, and you might stay and advise us now. We must make up our minds +what we are going to do." + +Rather sulkily, Henry turned back, and went over to the fireplace, +where he leaned against the mantelpiece, and began to fidget with his +watch chain. + +"I don't see what there is for you to do," he said. "It's an affair for +Miss Farlow and Jimmy to settle between them. Your brother has sown his +wild oats now, and he'll be steady enough." + +May shook her head sadly. "I know you're very kind to him, dear, kinder +than he deserves; but we must not let our feelings stand in the way of +our duty. What do you say, Ida?" + +Mrs. Fenton nodded. "We know that besides the affair of that creature in +town, Jimmy used to drink too much. Probably, he does still. We don't +want to have a scandal, and perhaps to have his wife and children +penniless on our hands." + +Somehow, that night Henry Marlow's temper was not quite under control, +and his voice was distinctly sharp as he retorted, "Miss Farlow has +money of her own, at least two hundred a year, settled on her, so they +wouldn't starve. What is it you propose to do?" + +"Tell Canon Farlow the truth, of course," Ida answered with asperity; +"then he can judge for himself. It will relieve us of responsibility in +the matter. It is the only thing we can do." + +Marlow frowned. "It's not my idea of what is right. You know Jimmy left +this girl long ago. Why can't you forget it, and give him a chance to +start again?" He addressed himself almost pointedly to his wife; but May +shook her head. + +"One can't forget in that way, Henry," she replied, gently; "at least +not in this case. It wouldn't be fair to Vera, knowing what we do about +Jimmy's instincts. No; Ida is right. We must certainly tell Canon +Farlow." + +"But he's left the girl," Henry persisted; he had always liked Jimmy, +even if he had never understood him or been greatly interested in him; +moreover, the whole idea of writing to the prospective father-in-law was +repugnant to his ideas of fairness. + +"How do you know he has really left her?" Ida asked coldly. "He has +deceived us before and may be deceiving us again. The only address he +has given us is his club, and this letter from Ethel is the first +intimation we have had as to where he was living. She may be there, +too." + +Mr. Marlow laughed scornfully. "And under Ethel Grimmer's eyes? Hardly, +Ida. And, according to the character you give her, she is not likely to +allow him to get engaged to someone else. When did you hear of her +last?" + +"Never, after she fled that night." It was May who answered. "I wish we +had been able to follow her up." + +"Why?" Henry demanded. "I think you got pretty well revenged as it was." + +Ida picked up her needlework again, rather ostentatiously. She had never +seen her brother-in-law in this combative mood before, and it made her a +little uneasy; but she was not going to let him see that fact, so she +answered even more coldly than before: + +"There was no question of revenge, Henry. Really, the suggestion is a +little coarse, if May will forgive my saying so. Why we wished to find +her was for this reason. Gilbert"--she coloured rather becomingly as she +pronounced the name--Gilbert was Mr. Fugnell, Ethel's "Additional +Curate," to whom she had recently become engaged--"Gilbert is greatly +interested in a home for these people, where they do laundry work, and +so on, and he was very anxious to save her. He said they had several +vacancies, and they had been forced to refuse work for want of hands. +That, if you want to know, is why we were anxious to discover where she +had gone. It was entirely for her own good." + +Marlow did not answer. He was a keen business man himself, and he liked +clear balance sheets, even from a charitable institution, but Mr. +Fugnell's charities issued no accounts at all. Moreover, of late a +certain weekly paper had been displaying a great deal of interest in +this very Home of which Ida was speaking, and only that day, coming down +in the train, Henry had been wondering whether he ought not to mention +the matter to Ida; but now he realised that his very advocacy of Jimmy's +claim to be left alone had practically rendered it impossible for him to +warn his sister-in-law. He would be doing the same thing he had +condemned in her. So he held his peace, and, by a kind of tacit consent, +the whole matter was dropped for the time being. + +When Ida had gone up to bed, however, Marlow broached the question again +to his wife. "Don't you really think you had better leave Jimmy to +settle his own affairs, dear?" he said. "Just think how we should have +felt if anyone had come between us when we were engaged. I know it would +have sent me wrong altogether." + +For a moment, May wavered; then she laid her hand on his arm very +tenderly. "You mustn't say that, Henry. I know you would never have done +anything you shouldn't do; and then, you see, you had no past to be +afraid of, which makes all the difference. No, I think Canon Farlow must +be told, so that he can investigate matters and judge for himself. Think +if there were a scandal after they were married, this other woman +making a fuss at the house, and perhaps causing them to separate. It +would ruin our position, too, and we must think of the children, even +though we were ready to take the risks ourselves. Really, sweetheart, +I'm right. Jimmy has only himself to blame." + +Her husband sighed, then bent down and kissed her. "Well, I leave it to +you, May. He is your brother, not mine. But if this sends him wrong +again, you mustn't blame him too much. He will be very bitter with you +and Ida." + +May's face grew hard again. "We cannot help it if he is. None of us +would agree to have the Grierson name dragged in the mud again." + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX + + +The news of Jimmy's engagement spread rapidly. Dr. Gregg heard it within +twenty-four hours, and mentioned it the same evening to Mrs. Richards, +the lady whose bow Jimmy had failed to acknowledge when he was coming +out of the hotel. + +Mrs. Richards shook her head over the tidings. "I cannot say I am +pleased to hear it, Doctor. Mr. Grierson can be very nice, and I am told +he is very clever; but still I am sorry for Miss Farlow. He has an +unfortunate failing." + +"Do you mean he drinks?" the doctor asked bluntly. + +The lady nodded. "I, myself, have seen him under the influence of +liquor, before mid-day; and my maid tells me it's a common subject of +conversation amongst the lower classes in the town. I understand a great +many writers have the same weakness," she added, grimly. + +Dr. Gregg snorted. "Nonsense, madam. When Grierson is married he will be +as steady as your own sons. I know him very well, and have a great +respect for him. The girl ought to be proud. He is going to make a big +name for himself; whilst as for the lower classes in this town, and the +upper classes as well, for that matter, their chief object in life seems +to be to make up and spread lying tales." + +"Dr. Gregg, was more brusque than ever to-day," Mrs. Richards remarked +to her husband an hour later. "Really, he is such a bear that if one +could trust Dr. Hart I would have him instead. It's not nice to be +stormed at and practically called a scandalmonger, especially when I +know that what I was saying is true." + +Her husband took her complaints lightly, remembering that only a year +before that same bear of a doctor had snatched their youngest child out +of the grip of death, and knowing well that, so long as the old man +remained in practice, his wife would take his word before that of the +most famous specialist in London. "What was the trouble with Gregg this +time, Kate?" he asked, smiling. + +"It was over Miss Farlow's engagement," she answered. "I was saying that +I'm sorry for the girl, because I'm sure young Grierson drinks; and the +doctor got rude about it at once." + +"Perhaps you were not very wise, because Grierson is a friend of his, as +well as a patient; but still, I am afraid what you said was true. I +don't know the man personally; but Bateman and Knowles and one or two +men who do know him say the same. I hear he's been better lately, +though, since the Grimmers took Drylands. Perhaps he was lonely, or +something like that. He knew very few people then, and it must have been +horribly dull for him." + +"I don't see that there is any excuse in that." Mrs. Richards' voice was +unusually severe. "He could have known people if he liked. Mr. Button, +the vicar, called on him; but he's never been to church once in over a +year, at least he never went until Miss Farlow came on the scene." + +Her husband smiled. "Perhaps she's converted him," he suggested. + +But Mrs. Richards was in earnest. "Conversions of that sort never last," +she went on. "He will be just as bad again after marriage, when the +novelty has worn off. I am sure I would never allow a man of that sort +to marry one of our daughters." + +Mr. Richards smiled again. "You might mislead a stranger by that +statement, Kate, seeing that they are both married already." + +Then the dinner gong sounded, and he straightway forgot all about the +matter; but his wife could not get it out of her mind. Her dearest girl +friend had married a man who had turned out to be an incurable +drunkard, and the tragedy of those two ruined lives came back to her +vividly, so vividly in fact that she determined to call at Drylands on +the following day, nominally to offer her congratulations to Vera +Farlow, really to see if she could not whisper a word of warning into +Mrs. Grimmer's ear. + +"Mrs. Grimmer is not at home," the servant said, in answer to her +inquiry. + +Mrs. Richards began to open her card case, then, acting on a sudden +resolution, she looked up again and asked, "Is Miss Farlow in?" + +"Yes, madam," the maid answered. + +Mrs. Richards closed her card case with a snap, and followed the maid +into the drawing-room. + +Vera looked so happy that for a moment the visitor hesitated, then the +very innocence and gentleness of the girl strengthened her resolution, +clinched it, and she saw her path of duty more clearly than ever. +Deliberately, she sought for an opening. + +"Have you known Mr. Grierson long?" she asked. + +"Not very long, really," Vera answered. "I met him first nearly two +years ago, at dinner. But after that, I did not see him again until I +came down here with the Grimmers. Still, he's a very old friend of +Ethel's--Mrs. Grimmer, I mean--and his people are parishioners of my +father's." + +"Does he often go down to see his people?" Mrs. Richards asked, a new +suspicion breaking on her mind. + +Vera shook her head. "He's been so busy, you see; and it's a long way; +in fact, I don't think he has been there for over a year." + +Mrs. Richards' last doubt had disappeared now. So Jimmy's people knew of +his failing and would not receive him in their homes. Evidently, it was +time that someone interfered to save this girl. + +"It is sometimes a great risk marrying a very clever man. They are not +always too steady." + +Vera, who was rather bored with her visitor, was staring out of the +window, wondering where Jimmy was, but now she looked round sharply, a +glint of anger in her eyes. + +"I am not afraid of that in Mr. Grierson's case," she answered coldly. +"Perhaps he is one of the exceptions, that is, if the rule itself is not +one of those silly ideas people get hold of and insist on believing in +for no reason at all, except perhaps because they're jealous." + +Mrs. Richards coloured slightly, but she did not take offence. Rather, +her heart went out in sympathy to this girl whose loyalty was likely to +be so ill repaid. + +"My dear," she said very gently, "I came intending to warn you, because +I was afraid no one else would have the courage to tell you. No, don't +jump up. Let me finish. I am afraid, in fact, I am sure, that Mr. +Grierson has that very failing we referred to. It is a matter of common +knowledge here; and, though he may keep steady whilst you are about, I +am sorry to say that the very first day after you went away last time, I +myself saw him the worse for liquor." + +Vera's first impulse was to do something theatrical, to ring for the +servants to turn this abominable woman out, to rush out herself and find +Jimmy and implore him to avenge the insult; but something in Mrs. +Richards' manner checked her, and in the end she listened in silence, +sitting very still with her hand in her lap. + +When the other had done, she made one attempt at disbelief. "It's not +true, it's not true," she murmured, then she went on, "Oh, say it isn't +true. Do say so. Why did you come and tell me when I was so happy?" + +There were tears in Mrs. Richards' eyes as she answered. "My dear, it's +better to know now than when it's too late, when your life is ruined. If +you want confirmation you had better make other inquiries. Ask Mr. +Grierson himself. He cannot deny it." + +To Vera's own astonishment, she let the visitor kiss her before they +parted; in fact, she returned the kiss; and yet, when looking back on it +afterwards, it seemed quite natural, for no one could have doubted the +honesty of Mrs. Richards' purpose, even if they had doubted her +statements. But Vera doubted neither. She knew the accusation was true; +and when on Jimmy coming in a few moments later and finding her red-eyed +and white-faced, she taxed him with it, he recognised the futility of +denial, though he pleaded extenuating circumstances. + +"I was miserable and lonely, and until I met you everything seemed to +have gone to pieces. It will never happen again, darling, really it +won't. You know that, don't you? surely you know it." He was fighting, +not only for her love, but for his whole future, his position in +society, the respect of his own class. If he lost her, he felt he would +lose everything else which a Grierson holds dear. He would never have +the heart to make another try. + +"I don't know," she sighed at last. "I had such faith in you, and this +has been such an awful shock. Oh, Jimmy, Jimmy, I could never have +believed it." + +Even in his misery, it struck him that she had believed it, very +readily, and a hint of anger came into his bearing. After all, his +promise of reformation, or rather the fact that he had already reformed, +should have some weight with her. But she was judging him by the past, +in which she had had no part. Still, he spoke gently, pleadingly. + +"Vera, dear, you must forgive me. It will never happen again now that I +have you to look after me. You will keep me straight." + +But he struck the wrong chord, and she looked up almost indignantly. +"You ought to be manly enough to keep straight by yourself, you ought +never to have sunk as you have done. There can be no excuse for it, none +whatever." + +"And no forgiveness?" he asked very quietly. She covered her face with +her hands again. "Oh, I don't know, I don't know. Everything seems so +dreadful, and I shall be afraid to trust you. Go away now, and let me +think it over quietly." + +"Very well. I will come back after dinner. Meet me down by the +summer-house." There was something masterful in his tone, and for a +moment she felt inclined to obey; then her sense of injury came to her +aid, and she shook her head. + +"No, to-morrow morning at the earliest. I cannot decide so quickly." + +Jimmy took his hat off the table. "Good-bye, then. I will come +to-morrow morning." And he left the room without another word. As the +door closed behind him, Vera stood up, straightened her hair in front of +the glass on the mantelpiece, dabbed the tears out of her eyes with her +handkerchief, and then went upstairs, holding her head rather erect, but +otherwise showing no sign of emotion. + +Jimmy filled his pipe whilst he went down the front steps, and as he +rammed the tobacco into the bowl he noticed, with a cynical little +smile, that his hand was perfectly steady. In his heart he did not +believe that the quarrel would prove final, that she would break off the +engagement on the grounds of his past failings. It was just a passing +cloud, he told himself. Both of them would have been more upset had +their love affair come to a sudden and abrupt close. He remembered how +he had felt when he had parted from Lalage, the fever and the agony of +it, the sense of utter desolation and hopelessness. And from that he +came to think of Lalage herself. She had never turned on him because he +drank. Far otherwise. The knowledge had made her more tender, more +watchful over his comfort, more anxious to shield him from worries which +might drive him into the power of his enemy. She had never blamed him, +even by implication. And why? He knew the answer only too well. Because +she had loved him. Now the fever, which the parting from Vera had failed +to arouse, came on him again. His pipe went out, and, unconsciously, he +quickened his steps, as was his way when deeply stirred. + +Lalage loved him. Lalage loved him too well to turn on him. The words +drummed through his brain with maddening persistency; and then, as a +corollary to them, came the questions, "Did Vera love him well enough to +take the risk, to give him a chance to run straight? Was he always to be +the Black Sheep, and herd with others of his kind?" + + + + +CHAPTER XXX + + +It was only a couple of hours after Jimmy had left Vera that the +chauffeur from Drylands brought him a note in Mrs. Grimmer's sprawling +handwriting. + +"It will be all right," Ethel wrote. "Vera has agreed to take the +sensible view, and let you show outward and visible signs of reformation +during your engagement. So you must be very good, and, if you can, even +pious. Come up to lunch to-morrow with a jaunty air as though nothing +had happened." + +Jimmy heaved a sigh of relief as he folded up the note and thrust it +into his pocket. So the crisis was safely over, after all. Straightway +he began to make excuses for Vera, her youth, her inexperience, the +atmosphere in which she had been reared; yet he could not help +remembering that Lalage was younger, by a year at least, and that her +chances of gaining experience at home had been far smaller, and still +Lalage had understood him and tried to help him, whilst Vera was only +taking him as an offender on probation. + +The latter was not pleasant thought, especially as the final letter to +Lalage remained unwritten. He had intended to do it that night, had +really made up his mind to do it; but now this scene with Vera seemed to +have shaken his nerves, and he felt he could stand no more strain until +he had had a good sleep. There was really no immediate hurry for a day +or two. Both his letters to Lalage and her letters to him were so brief +and so few in number that no one could object to the correspondence. So, +in the end, he went to bed, moderately satisfied with his own prospects, +having written nothing at all. + +Jimmy got up in the morning with a certain sense of relief in his mind. +He was rather glad now that Vera did know something of his past +failings; it was better for her to understand, and to forgive, than for +him to live with the fear of exposure ever in his thoughts. Their little +quarrel, if quarrel it could be called, would serve a useful purpose in +clearing the air; and now there would be no more trouble. He would soon +reassure her by giving positive proofs of reformation. Moreover, he +could write to Lalage that night, after making, his peace with Vera. + +The morning postman brought nothing more interesting than a receipted +laundry bill, which Jimmy tossed angrily on to the desk. He had been +expecting a letter of congratulation from May, in fact, he had looked +to receive it twenty-four hours previously, and its non-arrival worried +him a little. He had been hoping that the news of his engagement would +have led to a treaty of peace with his family, being, as it was, +significant of his surrender to the Grierson ideals. Surely May would +see that he had sown his wild oats, and was ready, eager even, to marry +into a respectable family and live respectably. + +His breakfast finished, Jimmy glanced through his newspapers, at the +same time keeping a look-out for the second postman; but when the latter +did come down the road he hurried by without even glancing at the +cottage. Obviously, he had nothing to deliver. Jimmy got up abruptly, a +frown on his face. They might have written to him, and have offered +their congratulations. He had given in to their ideas completely now; +his engagement was in itself tacit recognition of the code of the +Griersons, and he could not understand why the family should still +harbour bitterness against him. Surely he had suffered enough for his +revolt. But May and Ida and Walter had always been the same, obstinate, +self-satisfied, regarding everything he did as necessarily wrong. In the +world of men who thought, Jimmy knew that he, himself, was quickly +gaining a position, and that his wife would also have a position, +through him; but his family gauged position by the standard of the +pass-book, the only book it considered of any permanent importance. The +successful business man was respectable by virtue of his success; it +made little difference whether he had grown rich as a banker, a +merchant, or a member of a County Council committee; but the man who +lived by his brains it regarded with suspicion, as one who made an +income without possessing capital. + +Jimmy was in a bitter mood. The little matter of the delayed letter had +brought out that alien streak in him again, and once more he saw the +Griersons as he had seen them in the early days of his return, +unsympathetic, prejudiced, almost smug. He had been striving hard to win +their approval. He had given up Lalage; he had written only things of +which they could approve; he had become engaged to a girl essentially of +their world, and now---- + +A sharp knock on the door brought him to his feet, and he opened the +latch to find the ragged little girl, who generally acted as telegraph +boy, holding out a yellow envelope. "Any answer, sir?" she chanted. + +Jimmy read the message through. It was from Canon Farlow, and had been +despatched at the London terminus. "Meet me on the station at +twelve-thirty. Most important," it said. + +Jimmy crushed the paper up, and thrust it into his pocket. "No answer, +thanks," he said, then he glanced at the clock. He had an hour and a +half still to wait. For a moment he thought of going up to Drylands +first, to see if Vera too had heard, but he put the idea aside +immediately after. Already, he had scented trouble. There must be +something very serious to have brought the Canon back from Switzerland +in such a hurry, and he preferred to see it through alone, to keep Vera +out of it, if possible. + +He was on the station platform a little early, in fact, he had time for +several drinks in the refreshment-room before the train came in; then, +rather to his surprise, he found the Drylands' chauffeur also waiting at +the barrier. + +The Canon, a portly man, clean shaven, and obviously prosperous, emerged +from a first-class carriage with a bag in one hand and a rug on the +other arm. Perhaps for that reason, he did not offer to shake hands with +Jimmy; but even when the chauffeur had hurried forward for his things, +he had made no attempt to remedy the omission. + +"Good morning, Mr. Grierson," he said. "I am glad to see you received +my telegram. Yes, Jones," to the chauffeur, "put those in the motor-car, +and kindly wait for me. I shall be going up shortly. And please put the +hood up, if possible. + +"Now, Mr. Grierson, is there anywhere we can talk. I have a few +questions of a rather serious nature, of a distinctly serious nature, I +might say, to ask you." + +Jimmy, now fully convinced that his theory of trouble ahead was right, +pulled himself together to meet it. The Canon's manner had already +aroused his antagonism, and he was in no mood to submit tamely. + +"We can talk in there, if you like," he answered, nodding towards the +refreshment-room. "I see the waiting-rooms are occupied." + +The Canon frowned, thinking he detected a hint of flippancy in the +younger man's manner. "I said it was a serious matter," he replied, +severely, "and a public bar is hardly the place for discussion, hardly +the place I should be likely to visit in any case." He glanced along the +platform, which was already deserted. "I think we will walk up that +direction, if you please." + +Jimmy, now thoroughly nettled, took out his case and lighted a cigarette +with rather ostentatious coolness, waiting for the other to begin. + +At last when they got to the open end of the platform, Canon Farlow +cleared his voice with a little cough which he had often found most +effective on solemn occasions. "I understand from your letter that you +have proposed marriage to my daughter, Vera." + +Jimmy corrected him quietly. "I am engaged to Miss Farlow. I am sorry if +I didn't make that quite clear to you." + +If men in his position did such things, the Canon would have snorted; as +it was, however, he remembered his dignity in time. "Pardon me, Mr. +Grierson, my daughter knows better than to accept a proposal of marriage +from any man without my permission. Anything she may have said was +provisional, simply provisional, until I, myself, had made inquiries. I +regret to say now that what I have learnt about you is greatly to your +discredit, terribly so. I have had a letter from your sister, Mrs. +Fenton." + +Jimmy was pale already, and he went, if possible, a shade paler, with +anger; but he spoke very calmly. "Yes, and what does Ida say about me? +Something pleasant, surely." + +Hitherto the Canon had spoken more in sorrow than in wrath, but now he +began to lose his temper; he was not accustomed to being treated +lightly. "Something most unpleasant on the other hand," he snapped. +"Something which, if true, as I believe it to be, renders you totally +unfit to associate with an innocent young girl like my daughter. Mrs. +Fenton informs me that a little while ago you were living a most +scandalous life in London." + +Jimmy knew that his case was hopeless. He had been betrayed, and had +already been judged, unheard. Still, he made one last attempt at +defence. "It was over a year ago, and I have never seen her since. I +have run straight enough since the time I left London; and I know I +should be true to your daughter." + +"You admit it is correct, then?" The canon gave the sigh he reserved for +the convicted sinner. "And where is this woman now?" + +The colour came back to Jimmy's face, suddenly. "That I shall not tell +you, or anybody else," he answered curtly. + +"Do you still keep up a correspondence with her?" + +Jimmy realised that the question was the fatal one. For a moment he +thought of explaining, of going into details as to how he was going to +break the last slender tie, of pleading all the extenuating +circumstances, of appealing for a chance to prove his reformation; then +he glanced at his companion, and knew there was no mercy in his face. +"Yes, I still correspond with her," he replied quietly. + +The Canon's wrath blazed out. "And yet you dare propose marriage to my +daughter. You are a debased profligate, sir, absolutely unfit for any +respectable people to know. You, you----" he spluttered a little, "you +are a positive danger to society. The idea of keeping up communication +with a vile creature like that, and expecting to marry my daughter." He +was snorting in earnest now. + +Jimmy's eyes had grown dangerously bright. "I allow no one to call my +friends vile creatures, not even a man who is supposed to be a preacher +of charity and good will. Whatever Miss Penrose has been in the past, +she has led a perfectly good life since we parted, and I respect her as +much as I respect any other woman living." He spoke proudly, defiantly, +looking the cleric full in the face. + +For a moment Canon Farlow was speechless, then he attempted to take +refuge in scorn. "If you are really so foolish as to believe that those +creatures ever reform----" he began. + +But Jimmy cut him short sternly. "You have said more than enough +already. Good morning." He turned on his heel and went a couple of +steps, then something struck him and he faced round again. "May I +venture one suggestion? Next time you preach you might take as your +text, 'He amongst you who is without sin, let him throw the first +stone,'" and he stalked down the platform, leaving the canon bereft of +even a trace of his well-known pulpit manner. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI + + +Jimmy did not attempt to go back to the cottage. Instead, he walked very +slowly up the street towards the hotel, the door of which he was just +entering when the Grimmer motor-car dashed past with the Canon sitting +very erect in the tonneau. As a matter of fact, that grave personage had +eventually entered the refreshment-room, feeling he needed something to +steady his nerves after such a trying interview. True, the brandy did +restore him a little, but the memory of Jimmy's words remained. He never +forgot them, and, as his wrath subsided, they began to affect him in +another way, making him ask himself whether, after all, he had read some +of his Master's words aright. As time went by, the matter troubled him +more and more--it is always a serious thing when a man past middle age, +and a dignitary of the Church at that, begins to think--and when, a year +later, Vera became engaged to the son of one of his own church-wardens, +a young City man of exemplary life and undoubted wealth, he was +conscious of a distinct sense of disappointment. He would have liked a +son-in-law who would have understood his new point of view. He married +them himself, in the blatantly new church with the sprawling texts round +the chancel arch; and the world, his world, congratulated him. But on +the following Sunday he preached a sermon which shocked his congregation +beyond measure, and really cost him that bishopric; for he took Jimmy's +suggested text, and argued, with an eloquent fire, quite alien to his +nature, that if the Master was ready to forgive, His followers must do +the same. + +Ida voiced the opinion of a good part of the congregation, when she +said, on the way home after the service, "Poor Canon Farlow! It is too +terrible. The excitement of the wedding must have unhinged his mind." + +But her new husband, Mr. Tugnell, himself a candidate for orders, the +owner of the living having promised that he should succeed the canon, +expressed the more general view, when he said sharply, "Nonsense, my +dear, the man had been drinking. Anyone could see that." + +And Ida agreed, as she did to everything Mr. Tugnell said. Even when he +had suggested that she should settle half of Joseph Fenton's hard-earned +money on himself she had consented, knowing that he was a +philanthropist, and therefore would use it well. + +May Farlow, on the other hand, grieved honestly for the canon, and +still retained sittings in the parish church, though she usually took +the children to the chapel-of-ease, "where is an old friend of ours," +she said, "and I'm not going to turn my back on him. There are always +two sides to a question after all, and I want to hear both. Perhaps +we've been wrong in some things, Ida. At any rate, now that my children +are growing up, I want more than ever to be right, so that I can guide +them, and prevent them from making mistakes. Sometimes I think we were +too severe in the past." + + * * * * * + +Jimmy hardly noticed the canon passing him. His mind was too full of +other things. Vera was lost to him, he knew that, and, somehow, the fact +troubled him little. With her, also, he had lost all present chance of +going back to the Grierson world, of becoming a true and complete +Grierson again, and curiously enough, that troubled him equally little. +He had ceased to have the slightest desire for such a thing. A black +sheep himself, he preferred to herd with his kind. + +His first feeling had been one of bitter wrath against his sisters. They +had betrayed him; they had thrust him back again when he was trying to +pull himself up; they were keeping him down, keeping him at a distance +for fear he should damage their position. And then his anger seemed to +pass away, and he laughed, first at them, then at himself. What did he +care about position, what did he care about Vera Farlow, what did he +care about anything--except Lalage? + +He knew it now. He knew why his engagement had made him so utterly +miserable, knew why he had been unable to write that final letter to +Lalage. There was only one place in the world he wanted to be--where +Lalage was; only one object in life for him--to make Lalage happy, and +by so doing wipe out all memory of his intended unfaithfulness to her. + +But would she have him back now, would she forgive his coldness and his +neglect, above all his repudiation of her in the London days? Did she +still love him, as he knew she had done once, love him enough to forgive +and forget, love him as he loved her? The thought drove everything else +out of his mind. Vera, her father, his sisters, all seemed to belong to +some distant past with which he now had no connection. His bitterness +against Ida and May, his anger against the canon, his first feeling of +grief, or rather of wounded pride, when he learnt that Vera was lost to +him--these were as nothing compared to the fear that Lalage would refuse +him. He was like a man who had awakened from a long sleep full of +dreams to find that, whilst he had slumbered, a deadly peril had come +down on him, a peril which could be averted only by immediate action. + +Jimmy had ordered a drink, more or less mechanically, as a tribute +levied by the house; but he pushed it away untasted. + +"I'm going to be absolutely sober when I do this," he muttered, then +went back into the hall, where he spent five minutes poring over a +timetable, following the trains down the lines of figures with a finger +which trembled slightly. Every hour seemed of supreme importance now. +Had he not been in dreamland for over a year? At last he found his +trains. He had three hours to wait in the town, two hours in London; but +he would finally arrive in the little Yorkshire town about half-past +seven in the morning, before Lalage had started work in that hateful +little shop. + +There was no need for him to write the trains down. Their times of +departure were already graven on his memory; all he had to do now was +cross the road to the post-office and wire to Lalage. He was cool again, +a perfectly normal man. All his anger and his excitement had gone; but, +none the less, he did not hesitate a moment over taking what might be, +what he hoped would be, an irrevocable step. + +An hour later, the kindly, grey-bearded old draper beckoned Lalage into +his private office. "There's a wire for you, Miss Penrose," he said. + +Lalage opened the envelope with trembling fingers--only one person in +the world would wire to her--then she swayed a little and gripped the +table for support, as she read, "Meet me at the station half-past seven +to-morrow morning. Jimmy." + +The draper was watching her anxiously. "No bad news, I hope," he said. + +She looked at him with a smile which reassured him instantly. "No, it's +good news, the best of good news," she answered. + +When she had gone out the old man shook his head sadly. His own wife had +died thirty years before, and he had passed nearly half of his life in +waiting for the meeting on the other side; so he knew what that smile +meant. Only a man, and the right man, can bring it to a woman's lips. + +When Jimmy left the post-office he went straight back to the cottage. +The fear of meeting any of the Drylands people did not worry him in the +least. They all belonged to the dream, even Ethel, and now he had got +back to the reality. Yet, when he opened the door and found a note from +Mrs. Grimmer lying on the floor, he did not feel a twinge of uneasiness, +dreading reproaches from her, as his hostess. + +But Ethel wrote kindly. "Don't take it to heart too much, dear old boy. +It was a nasty trick for Ida to play you, although just what I should +have expected from her or May. As for the canon, I am afraid I have +offended him mortally by sticking up for you. Vera is hopelessly weak. I +was never more disappointed in anyone in my life. Still, after all, it +was a mistake, and you would have never been happy. Take comfort from +that, and don't do anything rash." + +Jimmy read it through a second time, then tore it up. Ethel was a good +sort, but if he did what he hoped to do, she would probably say he had +disregarded her advice and acted rashly. So she, too, had better become +part of the dream and be forgotten, which is the proper fate of dreams +and dream-people. + +It did not take him long to pack his bag and shut up the cottage; +consequently, he had plenty of time to catch his train; but on this +occasion he did not go into the refreshment-room. He needed no stimulant +to keep him going now. If she refused to hear him it might be different; +but until he saw her he was going to touch nothing. He would speak +deliberately, in cold blood. + +For a moment, when he came out of the terminus, London affected him as +it had done on the night of his home-coming; but the feeling passed +immediately, and the town became simply one stage on his journey to +Lalage. Moreover, as he drove across to the other terminus, he felt none +of that sickness at heart which he had dreaded so greatly, which had +made him avoid the place as a plague spot. All the old memories seemed +to have lost their bitterness. The women in the streets had not the +slightest kinship with Lalage. His jealousy of the past had vanished, +the hateful thoughts which had once gone nigh to driving him mad had +lost all their power, and now the only thing in his mind was the fear +that the new Lalage, which was the real Lalage, would not risk joining +her life to his again. + +As the train came into the station he saw her standing there, tall, very +pale, and, as he thought, looking even more beautiful than ever in her +plain black dress. She was the only person on the platform, just as he +was the only passenger to alight; but, seeing the look in her eyes, it +would have been the same had there been a crowd. + +"Lalage," he said, and took her in his arms. + +When she disengaged herself, blushing, for the ticket collector had just +come out, she scanned his face eagerly, and then the colour left her +cheek again. + +"Jimmy, oh, Jimmy, dear, you look so ill. Hasn't anyone taken care of +you all these months?" + +He laughed happily, knowing now that everything was well. "I will tell +you all about it by and by." Then he stopped, regardless of the +indignant glances of the ticket collector, who was thinking of his +cooling breakfast. "Shall I send my bag to the hotel, or shall I leave +it here?" + +She understood his meaning. "Send it to the hotel," she answered in a +low voice. + +Nothing more was said until they were clear of the station yard, then, +"Where can we go and have a quiet talk?" he asked. + +For answer she led him into a little public park near by. It was +deserted at that hour, and he got the chance to speak at once. + +"Lalage," he said in a tone she hardly recognised, "I've broken my +promise to you. I've been ruining my health with liquor, trying to +forget you; and I've been engaged to another woman. I know you're +infinitely too good for me in every way; but I've come to ask you to +marry me, not in the distant future, but now, at once, as soon as I can +get a licence." + +She stood very still, and, for a few seconds, he feared he had come too +late, then she spoke haltingly. "Jimmy, I'm afraid ... after the past +... that you wouldn't trust me. And that would be even worse than this." + +He took her hand. "Lalage, dearest, there's no question of that now, +there can be no question of it when we're married. You say no one has +taken care of me. Won't you do it, sweetheart, and save me from myself?" + +She looked at him with shining eyes. "You haven't said yet why you want +to marry me, Jimmy." + +Once more he took her in his arms unresisting. "Because I love you, +dearest, because you're everything in this wide world to me, because I +honour you and trust you above all women, and because life would not be +worth living unless I had you as my wife." + +THE END + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's People of Position, by Stanley Portal Hyatt + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PEOPLE OF POSITION *** + +***** This file should be named 29274-8.txt or 29274-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/9/2/7/29274/ + +Produced by Peter Vachuska, Julia Miller, Martin Pettit +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/29274-8.zip b/29274-8.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c0ba998 --- /dev/null +++ b/29274-8.zip diff --git a/29274-h.zip b/29274-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..69446e5 --- /dev/null +++ b/29274-h.zip diff --git a/29274-h/29274-h.htm b/29274-h/29274-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3cb3412 --- /dev/null +++ b/29274-h/29274-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,6893 @@ +<!-- saved from url=(0022)http://internet.e-mail --> +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of People Of Position, by Stanley Portal Hyatt. + </title> + <style type="text/css"> + + p { margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; + } + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; + } + hr { width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; + } + + body{margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + } + + hr.smler { width: 10%; } + + .pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ + /* visibility: hidden; */ + position: absolute; + left: 92%; + font-size: smaller; + text-align: right; + text-indent: 0px; + } /* page numbers */ + + .center {text-align: center;} + .smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + + .tbrk {margin-bottom: 2em;} + + .mynote { background-color: #DDE; color: black; padding: .5em; margin-left: 20%; + margin-right: 20%; } /* colored box for notes at beginning of file */ + + /* index */ + + div.index ul li { padding-top: 1em ;text-align: left; } + + div.index ul ul ul, div.index ul li ul li { padding: 0; text-align: left; } + + div.index ul { list-style: none; margin: 0; } + + div.index ul, div.index ul ul ul li { display: inline; } + + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of People of Position, by Stanley Portal Hyatt + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: People of Position + +Author: Stanley Portal Hyatt + +Illustrator: H. Richard Boehm + +Release Date: June 30, 2009 [EBook #29274] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PEOPLE OF POSITION *** + + + + +Produced by Peter Vachuska, Julia Miller, Martin Pettit +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class = "mynote"><p class="center">Transcriber's Note:<br /><br /> +A Table of Contents has been added.</p></div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_i" id="Page_i">[Pg i]</a></span></p> + +<p class="tbrk"> </p> + +<h1>PEOPLE OF POSITION</h1> + +<p class="tbrk"> </p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii" id="Page_ii">[Pg ii]</a></span></p> + +<div class="center"><img src="images/frontice.jpg" width='431' height='700' alt="LALAGE" /></div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_iii" id="Page_iii">[Pg iii]</a></span></p> + +<h1>PEOPLE OF<br />POSITION</h1> + +<p class="tbrk"> </p> + +<h3>BY</h3> + +<h2>STANLEY PORTAL HYATT</h2> + +<h4>Author of "Little Brown Brother," "End of the Road," etc.</h4> + +<p class="tbrk"> </p> + +<h3><i>With a Frontispiece by<br />H. RICHARD BOEHM</i></h3> + +<p class="tbrk"> </p> + +<h3>NEW YORK<br />WESSELS & BISSELL CO.<br />1910</h3> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_iv" id="Page_iv">[Pg iv]</a></span></p> + +<p class="tbrk"> </p> + +<h4><span class="smcap">Copyright, 1910, By</span><br />WESSELS & BISSELL CO.</h4> + +<hr class="smler" /> + +<h4><i>September</i></h4> + +<p class="tbrk"> </p> + +<h4>THE PREMIER PRESS<br />NEW YORK</h4> + +<p class="tbrk"> </p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>CONTENTS</h2> + +<div class="index"> +<ul> +<li><a href="#PROLOGUE">PROLOGUE</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_I">CHAPTER I</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_II">CHAPTER II</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_III">CHAPTER III</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_IV">CHAPTER IV</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_V">CHAPTER V</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_VI">CHAPTER VI</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_VII">CHAPTER VII</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_VIII">CHAPTER VIII</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_IX">CHAPTER IX</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_X">CHAPTER X</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XI">CHAPTER XI</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XII">CHAPTER XII</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XIII">CHAPTER XIII</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XIV">CHAPTER XIV</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XV">CHAPTER XV</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XVI">CHAPTER XVI</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XVII">CHAPTER XVII</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XVIII">CHAPTER XVIII</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XIX">CHAPTER XIX</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XX">CHAPTER XX</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XXI">CHAPTER XXI</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XXII">CHAPTER XXII</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XXIII">CHAPTER XXIII</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XXIV">CHAPTER XXIV</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XXV">CHAPTER XXV</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XXVI">CHAPTER XXVI</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XXVII">CHAPTER XXVII</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XXVIII">CHAPTER XXVIII</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XXIX">CHAPTER XXIX</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XXX">CHAPTER XXX</a></li> +<li><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXI">CHAPTER XXXI</a></li> +</ul> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_v" id="Page_v">[Pg v]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="PROLOGUE" id="PROLOGUE"></a>PROLOGUE</h2> + +<p>Grierson refilled the magazine of his rifle carefully—when you are +dealing with South American patriots it is better to take no chances, +even though the enemy has retreated—then he wiped a couple of +half-dried blood spots off his cheek, and, after that, went over to +where lay the body of the man from whom that same blood had spurted.</p> + +<p>For a full minute he stood very still, gazing with sombre eyes at the +kindly face which seemed to be smiling back at him even in death; then +he knelt down, and, with infinite gentleness, smoothed the ruffled hair, +arranged the collar so as to hide the bullet hole in the bronzed throat, +and crossed the hands on the breast. When he got up again his face was +twitching strangely, seeing which, the American officer, who had come up +behind him, suddenly became busy with his men.</p> + +<p>It was one of those stories which seldom get into the newspapers, +possibly because they are so utterly unimportant in themselves—a ragged +band of half-breeds robbing and murdering in the name of liberty; a +landing party of marines from the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_vi" id="Page_vi">[Pg vi]</a></span> nearest warship, which happened to be +American; and a futile little fight ending, as usual, in the defeat of +the brigands. Only this time, an Englishman, who had gone out with the +marines, had been killed; and now Grierson, his friend, was trying to realise the fact.</p> + +<p>"He was awfully good to me, the whitest man that ever stepped. I met him +down the coast a year ago—my luck was right out—and he brought me +along with him. I hadn't had a proper meal for days, much less a smoke, +and he'd only my word for who I was. Yet he risked it, and I've been +here ever since." Grierson, who had been walking in silence beside the +marine officer, spoke suddenly.</p> + +<p>The American nodded sympathetically. "It was hard luck to be killed by a +rotten Dago outfit like that. Whenever you get a coloured man talking +about liberty you know he's just prospecting round for a chance to break +the Eighth Commandment."</p> + +<p>Grierson muttered a curse; then, as if he wanted to confide in someone, +possibly as a relief to his own feelings, "His partner will be here in a +week's time; he was on his way already. When he comes I shall clear out and go home."</p> + +<p>Captain Harben nodded again. "Meaning England?" he asked.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_vii" id="Page_vii">[Pg vii]</a></span></p><p>"Yes, England—London. I've had ten years knocking about the +world—China, India, Australia, and all round this forsaken continent; +and the sum total of what I've got to show for it is the fever and a +couple of knife scars in my back—patriots again, one Hindu, one +Peruvian. So I think I had better go home and begin afresh—if I can." +And he gave a bitter little laugh.</p> + +<p>The American glanced sharply at the tall, thin figure and haggard face. +When they had started out that morning to drive the saviours of their +country out of the spirit stores they were looting, Grierson had struck +him as a keen youngster with a rather infectious laugh, and his +appreciation had been increased by the way in which the other had +dropped a running insurgent at four hundred yards' range; now, however, +the captain found himself wondering whether, after all, it was not too +late for his companion to talk of beginning life afresh.</p> + +<p>At dinner that night he expressed his doubts to the Consul, who shook +his head. "Locke, the man they killed to-day, told me young Grierson had +been through a pretty rough time, touched rock bottom. He was going into +the British Army, but had to throw it up, and went out to the Orient for +some Company which failed soon after, leaving him stranded. Since then +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_viii" id="Page_viii">[Pg viii]</a></span>everything he had been in has turned out wrong; and now this has +gone.... Queer how some men do get the cards dealt them that way.... +He's clever, writes very well, and might have done something at it. +Locke's death will be an ugly blow to him." Being a kindly man and none +too successful himself, he sighed in sympathy, then mixed another whisky +and soda, and passed on to official matters.</p> + +<p>A little later Captain Harben harked back to the former question. "He's +got plenty of pluck. He was all there when it came to a fight. I like him."</p> + +<p>"So do I," the other answered, "only I guess pluck of that sort won't +help him much in England, and you know, or at least I know, that a +fellow who's knocked about a lot doesn't suit civilisation, or +civilisation doesn't suit him—put it which way you like, the result is +the same. His nerves go under, somehow, and it ends so," nodding towards +the whisky bottle.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile Grierson was sitting on the verandah of his dead employer's +house staring out into the night, and trying to make plans for the future.</p> + +<p>"Whatever happens, I don't mean to starve again," he muttered.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ix" id="Page_ix">[Pg ix]</a></span></p> + +<p class="tbrk"> </p> + +<h1>PEOPLE OF POSITION</h1> + +<p class="tbrk"> </p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_I" id="CHAPTER_I"></a>CHAPTER I</h2> + +<p>Mrs. Marlow flicked a crumb off her dress with rather unnecessary care. +"I've had a most annoying letter from Jimmy to-day. It came by the +second post, after Henry had gone to the City, and quite upset me. His +employer, Mr. Locke, has been killed in some disgraceful riot, and now +Jimmy himself is coming home. Of course, in a way, I shall be glad to +see him, and so will the rest of the family; but I know he's got no +money, and no profession to fall back upon, and I cannot see what he is +going to do for a living. If I asked him to do so, I have no doubt Henry +would make a place for him in the office; but I am not going to have my +husband burdened with my brother. Henry is too generous as it is; and +the Stock Exchange is in such a fearful state now that it is difficult +to make a bare living." She sighed heavily, and glanced round the +expensively furnished drawing-room, as if wondering whether that +abominable tendency towards suspicion on the part of the public, which +was causing it to eschew all sorts of speculation, might<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</a></span> not result in +her losing the few luxuries she did possess.</p> + +<p>Her visitor, Mrs. Grimmer, wife of the junior partner in the well-known +City firm of Hornaday, Grimes, and Grimmer, dried fruit brokers, nodded +with an affectation of sympathy which she did not feel—the Marlows had +a touring car and a motor-brougham, whilst she had only a one-horse +carriage—and held out her cup to be refilled. She had known her hostess +for a good many years, over thirty in fact, ever since she and May +Marlow, who was then May Grierson and had thick flaxen plaits tied with +blue ribbon, had met at their first children's party. Walter Grierson, +the eldest of the family, now a City solicitor, had been eleven at that +time, whilst May had been seven and Ida five; but Jimmy had not arrived +until three summers later.</p> + +<p>Both Mr. and Mrs. Grierson belonged to eminently solid families, whose +forebears for generations had looked to the City for their living. To +them, the Square Mile stood for Respectability, just as the West End +typified Laxity and Luxury; whilst outside these limits there was +nothing but the Lower Classes. They ignored the Underworld, possibly +because they knew nothing of it, more likely because it had no place in +their Scheme of Things, the two main articles of their creed being<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span> that +every man must choose an occupation early and abide by his choice, and +that every good woman must stay at home. The logical result of these +Grierson ancestors and their kind was the Victorian age, the exaltation +of the Supremely Bad in Art and the Supremely Proper in mankind. Mrs. +Grierson had been Victorian in the fullest sense of the word, and she +had lived and died with all her principles intact, believing in the +Evangelical Church, the respectability of wealth, and the evil +tendencies of modern thought. On the other hand, some alien strain had +crept into Mr. Grierson, and he had not accepted the family traditions +in their entirety; in fact, both his own relatives and those of his wife +had found much to criticise in his ideas. Had he been able to shake +himself free of the family, he would have liked nothing better than to +possess a ranch in America or a sheep station in New South Wales. All +his life, he longed, in secret, for open air, and freedom, and the +society of men whose interests did not stop at Temple Bar; but, in the +end, Fate, in the form of a business bequeathed him by his father, sent +him to the City, and he resolutely put his dreams on one side. The +inevitable happened. He was essentially an honourable man, and, not +understanding the meaning of Commercial Morality, he imagined that +other<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span> men in the City were the same; consequently, he met the fate of +he who of old went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, though there was no +Samaritan to sympathise; rather otherwise, in fact, for his fellows +shook their heads scornfully over his failure, whilst admiring the +business capacity of those into whose hands his capital had passed.</p> + +<p>The process of Mr. Grierson's ruin had been a comparatively slow one, +the law requiring certain decencies to be observed in these matters; and +his wife was dead, and his three elder children grown up and married, +before the day when he discovered his own ruin, and took the quickest +way out of the troubles of this world. He was mad, of course; everyone +agreed on that point: not the least of the proofs being the fact that +the only message he left was a letter for Jimmy, who was then at +Sandhurst. The coroner had read the letter, and handed it back with a +remark that it had no bearing whatsoever on the case; but no one else +had seen it, nor had Jimmy given a hint of its contents to any of the +family. It concerned him alone, he said. He would have to leave +Sandhurst now and wanted to go abroad, and the others let him go, if not +gladly, at least without any great regrets. They were all provided for; +Walter was partner in a growing firm of solicitors; May had married +Henry Marlow, a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span>stockbroker; whilst Ida's husband was, if not actually +in the City, at least very respectable, being a Northampton boot factor. +They were very fond of Jimmy, genuinely fond of him, both from the +purely correct point of view, as being their brother, and for his own +happy disposition; but, none the less, there had always been a certain +jealousy of their father's evident preference for him, a jealousy +mingled with surprise, or even resentment, Jimmy being essentially +unpractical, and almost unconventional. Moreover, they had never liked +the idea of his going to Sandhurst. None of the family had been in the +Service before; and it was a matter of common knowledge that no man +could make financial headway in the Army. So, when, through Mr. Marlow's +influence, the boy obtained a billet in China, the family heaved sighs +of relief, and though, throughout the next ten years, his sisters kept +up as regular a correspondence as his wanderings allowed, their home +concerns and increasing families inevitably weakened their interest in +him. They had their own circles, in which he had no part, though, on the +other hand, when he did think of England, which was often during those +years of hardship and disappointment, Jimmy always looked on them as +essentially his own people, to whom, one day, he would return, having no one else....</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span></p><p>Mrs. Grimmer sipped her tea slowly, and asked for further particulars +concerning the absent wanderer.</p> + +<p>"Does he say what he proposes to do?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Marlow shook her head. "No, only that he's sick of knocking about, +and thinks he will try his luck at home. It's very selfish of him, +because he has never been a credit to us; and, of course, naturally, +everyone will know he's our brother."</p> + +<p>"What has he done that wasn't—wasn't quite the thing?" the visitor asked.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Marlow looked a little puzzled. "Well, I don't know that there's +anything, exactly—at least that way. Only, Luke Chapman and her husband +met him in Calcutta three years ago—Mr. Chapman has a branch there, you +know—and Luke told me that he was doing nothing, and living at a queer +sort of hotel, where ships' officers and those sort of people stay, not +at all the thing. Then, you see, he's done no good. He's just as poor as +when he went out ten years ago."</p> + +<p>"So he's done no harm and no good. Then you can keep an open mind about +him, May. Meanwhile, if I were you, I should try and find him a wife +with money. He's sure to be interesting, you know. Men who travel +usually<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span> are. Let me know when he comes back, as I should like to meet +him again. Well, good-bye, dear, and don't worry too much about your +black sheep. The colour may come off, or you may be able to get him whitewashed."</p> + +<p>"Edith Grimmer was very flippant about it," Mrs. Marlow complained to +her husband that evening, after she had shown him Jimmy's letter and had +heard his remarks thereon. "I didn't like her tone at all. She has grown +rather coarse lately, since they have got into that new set. They dine +in town a good deal now, and I'm sure they can't afford it. She's taken +to smoking cigarettes, too."</p> + +<p>Her husband, a small man with a waxed moustache and the most perfect +fitting clothes, frowned heavily. There had been girls, in fact there +were still some, who might blow whole clouds of cigarette smoke in his +face and only evoke a laugh from him; but they had nothing to do with +his home life. Where the latter was concerned, he was very careful; and +he fully agreed with May's prejudices. Such things injured one's +position in the neighbourhood. "Edith is a very foolish woman," he said +severely. "And Grimmer is little more sensible. He was talking a great +deal of nonsense about South African mines when we were coming down in +the train this evening.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span> Crossley and Merchant were in the carriage, and +I am sure they were pleased when I took him up sharply. I do not know +whether he is aware that I was interested in the promotion of the +Umchabeze Gold Dredging Syndicate; if so, his remarks were positively +insulting. It seems he lost money over it. So did other people; but I +can't help that." He threw his cigar end into the fire with a rather vicious gesture.</p> + +<p>His wife came across to his chair, put her hands on his shoulders, and +kissed him gently on the forehead. "Never mind, dear. You mustn't let +these silly people annoy you. I'm sorry now I worried you to-night about +my brother, Jimmy. I might have left it until the morning, when you weren't tired."</p> + +<p>He drew her face down to his and returned her kiss. She was perfectly +content for him to be away all day, even for several days when he went +golfing, and he was content to go; yet, in a sense, they were lovers +still, after the fashion of those whose way through life has been easy.</p> + +<p>"You were quite right to mention it, dear," he said. "Of course we must +do what we can for him, have him to stay here when he lands, and so on. +I daresay he will be quite presentable, after all. Why, a man I know at +the club, Heydon, Amos Heydon, was in the East for twelve years,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span> in a +bank I think, and you would never imagine he had been out of the City. +He's got all our ways."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Marlow sighed. "I hope you're right, Henry. You usually are, and +you've had so much experience. But I wish we knew what he intended to do +for a living. He is thirty now, or nearly that, and ought to be in a +better position. The whole thing is most annoying. I must take care he +does not tell the children stories which will make them dream at +nights—Harold is sure to ask him for some, and you know what a memory +the boy has. Then, too, we don't want Jimmy proposing to any of the nice +girls we know, like Laura Stephens or May Cutler; for then we should +have to confess that he had no means of any sort, and it would be +horribly humiliating. See how well those young Cutlers have got on in +their father's office. Of course, Edith Grimmer knows that Jimmy is a +failure; but she won't talk about it."</p> + +<p>Yet, at that very moment, Mrs. Grimmer was retailing the story of May's +troubles to her husband and a couple of guests who had been dining with them.</p> + +<p>"Jimmy always was a nice boy, not a bit of a prig. But he's not what you +can call a success; and I fancy the Marlows won't want to exhibit<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span> him. +Still, I shall have him to dinner and get some nice girls to meet him."</p> + +<p>Grimmer laughed. He had not forgotten what had passed between Marlow and +himself in the train, and he was far from forgiving his loss over the +gold dredging syndicate. "Have him by all means, Edith, if you think it +will annoy those people. Besides, a Grierson who was interesting would +be quite a show animal."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_II" id="CHAPTER_II"></a>CHAPTER II</h2> + +<p>Jimmy Grierson landed in England a broken man. What was almost worse, he +was aware of the fact, and, whilst he resented the way in which Fate had +dealt with him, he had no great hopes of altering things. He had drifted +so long that, somehow, he supposed he must go on drifting. John Locke +had stopped the process for a time, and given him something to stick to, +something worth doing; but a bullet from an old Remington in the hands +of a ragged Dago, a bullet probably aimed at someone else, had sent him +adrift again. True, that same Dago had gone, a few seconds later, to +whatever place there is reserved for his kind; but that did not alter +matters; it avenged, perhaps, but it could not bring back, the one man +besides his father for whom Jimmy had ever cared, who had ever +understood him, and, therefore, been able to keep him from drifting.</p> + +<p>His decision to return to England had been taken on the spur of the +moment, without reflection; but he held to it, because no other course +seemed to offer any better prospects. He knew,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span> perfectly well, that +Locke's partner would not want to keep him on, and he shrank from the +ordeal of searching for employment again. He had been through it so +often before; and he had learnt, long since, that the man on the spot +only gets the temporary billets; the permanent staff is always recruited +at home. Moreover, he had the fevers of half a dozen different countries +in his system, and the shock of Locke's death brought at least one of +them to the surface. Two Dagos helped him on board ship, a wreck, and +though, physically, he was much stronger at the end of the voyage, his +nerves were far from being right.</p> + +<p>London extended its welcome to him in the form of a drenching rain, and +he shivered a little under the thin, ready-made overcoat he had bought +from a German store on the Coast.</p> + +<p>He had hoped that one of the family would have met the boat train, and +carried him off to a real home; but, though there had been a welcoming +hand for most of his fellow passengers, he, himself, scanned the crowd +in vain for a familiar face. Even those who had come across the ocean +with him seemed to forget him the moment they got out on to the +platform. He became the stranger at once; so he stood to one side until +they had all departed, feeling horribly alone. Still, he was home at +last, in his own country,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span> and he tried to work up a proper sense of +elation as he waited in the station entrance, watching a porter hoisting +his battered trunks on to a cab.</p> + +<p>It was already evening, and the stream of people was flowing inwards +through the gates of the terminus, London's workers returning to those +dreary rows of villas in the suburbs, which, probably, seemed +delightfully peaceful, almost rural, by comparison with the noise and +grime of the City. Some were closing dripping umbrellas; others, having +no umbrellas, shook the rain out of the brims of theirs hats, and turned +down their soaking coat-collars as they came under shelter. All looked +more or less draggled and weary; yet you could see that they were on +their way to their own houses, where there would be someone to welcome +them, someone who had been waiting for them. Suddenly all Jimmy's sense +of loneliness came back, and he shivered again as the cab splashed out +of the muddy station yard, towards the hotel to which he had told his +people to address their letters.</p> + +<p>There was a letter from each of his sisters awaiting him, and he tore +them open more eagerly than was his wont. Ida, writing from her home in +Northampton, invited him to come down for a week at some vague future +date; one of the children was unwell, and until it recovered<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span> it was +impossible to fix a day. Still, they would be delighted to see him +again. Her letters always had a note of stiffness in them, which was +purely unintentional, or rather, purely natural, reflecting the one +salient point in her character.</p> + +<p>May's letter began with an apology. They were so sorry they could not +ask him down that night; but they had a large dinner party on, and he +would have made an odd man. Doubtless, too, he would be tired after his +journey and disinclined for such a function. The following day, however, +they would be glad to have him. It was forty minutes' run from Victoria +Station, and she would send the car to meet him at the other end.</p> + +<p>Jimmy thrust the letters into his pocket, and followed his luggage up to +his room, which was a perfect example of its kind, containing the +irreducible minimum of furniture an hotel guest could require, and +having, as its sole wall decoration, a notice imploring you to switch +out the electric light when you did not actually require it. He was +disappointed, though not annoyed. The excuses appeared genuine, if +rather inadequate and he never suspected that May had spent the +afternoon in a distressing state of anxiety lest he should change his +mind, and, instead of going to the hotel, come straight down in time for dinner.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span></p><p>"There is no telling what he may be like," she said to her +sister-in-law, who was staying in the house. "We must see him first +before we introduce him to people here. Why, he may not even possess a dress suit."</p> + +<p>Jimmy dined in the hotel. The dining-room was very empty, and he had a +corner of it all to himself, a miserable contrast to the cheerful, +crowded saloon of the mail steamer he had quitted that morning. He ate +very little, and would not wait for coffee. He felt he must get outside +that gloomy barn of the hostelry, must go where there was life and +movement, and, and if he could find it, society.</p> + +<p>The rain had ceased, and, as he came out of the dull side street into +the Strand, he experienced for the first time that strange thrill, +excitement, anticipation, almost exhilaration, which only the returned +wanderer who comes back to the Greatest of Cities after years of +absence, can know. When he had driven up to the hotel, the day +population had been hurrying home through the downpour; now, though the +street and the pavements were still glistening with the wet, and there +was another deluge to come, London, the night side of London, was out as +if there was no such things as rain and mud and sodden footwear.</p> + +<p>Jimmy stood a couple of minutes, watching it,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span> taking it all in, as +though he had never seen it before. A policeman on point duty eyed him +curiously, yet with no hint of suspicion. Most men, and practically +every woman, remembered Jimmy's face when they met him a second time. He +was not handsome, far from it; but, in some indefinable way, his grey +eyes suggested sympathy, whilst the poise of his head spoke of +determination verging on obstinacy.</p> + +<p>He was looking at the scene as a whole, rather than at individuals, and +the policeman remarked, with a kind of grim satisfaction, that he let +the women pass him unnoticed. Even when one turned back at the next +corner and repassed him slowly, he seemed not to see her. Just as he was +turning away, however, a girl's face did catch his eye, and, +unconsciously, he stopped again. She was coming out of a restaurant a +few yards away, accompanied by a man in evening dress, though she +herself was in an ordinary walking costume. Tall and very graceful, with +dark eyes and a perfect profile, she formed a curious contrast to her +short and rather stout companion. It was only a question of a minute +before they got into a waiting hansom and driven away; but, somehow, the +incident worried Jimmy. He wondered who she was, what she was, and was +so preoccupied with her that as he walked on eastwards, he hardly +noticed that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span> he left the Strand, with its life and hurry, for the +comparative quietude of Fleet Street by night. He had come out of the +hotel intending to have a drink at the first likely-looking bar he came +to; but he was half-way between the Griffin and Ludgate Circus before he +remembered he was thirsty.</p> + +<p>"Hullo, Grierson, my best of piracy experts. So you've come to Fleet +Street at last, as I always said you would. Sneddon, let me introduce +Mr. Grierson, an old colleague of mine on a short-lived paper in +Shanghai. He knows more Chinese pirates than any man I ever met, not to +mention gunrunners and opium smugglers; and he's perfectly invaluable to +fill a column when the news has run short." The speaker, a man of about +Jimmy's own age, with a keen, smooth-shaven face and restless eyes, +shook hands heartily, and ordered another round of drinks.</p> + +<p>At the sound of his voice, Jimmy's face lit up with genuine pleasure. He +had known Douglas Kelly well on the China Coast, when the other was +editing a local paper for a starvation wage, and, as Kelly said, he had +written him many a column to fill up space with when both copy and +advertisements were short. The British and American community, being +absorbed in trade, and knowing nothing of literature, and often very +little of the English language, as is the way of its kind,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span> had failed +to see the genius under the wild and not too temperate exterior, and had +frowned on the young editor as a rather scandalous person entirely +devoid of commercial instincts; but Jimmy had always stood by him, and +when a sudden access of wealth, in the form of a draft for sixty pounds +for a series of short stories in an American magazine, had enabled Kelly +to say good-bye both to the China Coast and to his creditors, Grierson +has regretted him as much, or even more, than had the latter.</p> + +<p>"So you've come to Fleet Street, at last," Kelly repeated. "I knew you +would. And I suppose you are going to enter into competition with me. I +believe you are the one man of whom I am really afraid."</p> + +<p>Jimmy laughed. "I only landed to-day, and I wandered down here by +chance. As for writing, I have done very little since I saw you off on +that tramp steamer. There were two or three acquaintances of yours +watching the mail boat next day on the chance of finding you."</p> + +<p>"Herbst, I suppose, and the other squarehead from the hotel—what was +his name?—oh, Heine, and that uncleanly Greek tailor. They were a dull +lot, and I've forgotten them long ago. Tell me about yourself. Where +have you been?"</p> + +<p>"India, Australia, and the Dago Republics,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span> where I saw the beginning +and the end of various presidents. I made a couple of trips on a +blockade runner, and went on a hidden treasure hunt. It sounds all +right, thrilling and exciting, yet, when I size it up in my own mind, it +comes down to a record of fever and disappointment; with a few purple +patches which were so good that, somehow, they seem to have come out of +another man's book, instead of being my own experiences."</p> + +<p>Kelly stared into his glass. "I know," he said very quietly. "I know the +game, though I got out of it sooner than you did, being wiser, as I +always told you I was. I suppose you know I'm famous?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy smiled; long ago, Douglas Kelly had explained to him his theory of +self-advertisement, how, once he was strong enough to do so, he intended +to go in for a regular system of blatant, unblushing egotism, which +would pay equally little regard to the feelings of others and to the +recognised canons of veracity. Now, it was evident that he was +translating his theory into practice.</p> + +<p>"Even in the Dago countries we used to get papers containing articles of +yours," Jimmy said. "And I saw a review of one of your books. Did you +put some of our old friends of the China Coast into them?"</p> + +<p>Douglas Kelly shook his head emphatically.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span> "They weren't even worth +satirising. They might take it as flattery if I remembered their very +existence.... I've done what I said I would, Grierson. I'm making a +thousand a year now." He turned to his companion. "Sneddon, you might go +back to the office, and see if there's anything doing. If anyone wants +me, say I'm busy"; then when the other had gone, "How are things with +you, Jimmy?" he asked bluntly.</p> + +<p>Jimmy laughed a little awkwardly. "Well, they shot my last employer, who +was also my best friend, out there; and I came home because I thought it +might change the luck."</p> + +<p>"So you're broke, just as I used to be?"</p> + +<p>"No, not exactly. I've got a few pounds left; but I've nothing to do, +and I don't know what to turn my hand to—that's all." Jimmy answered, +then as Kelly dived into his pocket and produced a cheque book, he +flushed quickly, "No, old man. If I want that, I'll come to you; but I +don't want it yet. Thanks very much, though."</p> + +<p>Kelly shrugged his shoulders. "You're quite a change. It's generally the +other way round. Men ask me for money, and I do the refusing." Usually, +his expression was hard, almost cynical, but as he looked at Jimmy it +softened, and he seemed to grow years younger. He was back again on the +China Coast, in the days when success was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span> a thing of the future, and +therefore greatly to be prized. "You'll do well, Grierson, you've got it +in you, just as I had. And, after all, London is the one place, the only +market worth bringing your stuff to."</p> + +<p>"I will admit I had thought of writing, but I know how hard it is to get +a start, and——" Jimmy began; but Kelly cut him short.</p> + +<p>"Rot! It's hard for the ruck, for the ninety and nine, who, after all, +ought to find it impossible, not merely hard. But it's different for you +and me, Jimmy Grierson, because we're not in the ruck. Of course you'll +write, for it's in you, and you would be a fool to try anything else. +You won't jump into a job right away; and you'll have to fight as I +fought. I started as a sub-editor on three pounds a week, correcting the +grammar in the copy of men who were getting five times that amount—but +I can get you a start of sorts, right away. Come around now to the +<i>Record</i> office, and I'll introduce you to Dodgson, the editor, a +perfectly uninspired person, who ought to have been a grocer's assistant +and have sung in a chapel choir. But he has the grace to realise his +limitations, and take my advice. It will mean two guineas every now and +then for a Page Four article—a thousand words, you know."</p> + +<p>Jimmy finished off his drink and stood up. He<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span> was beginning to +understand that, after all, there was an element of sane, cool common +sense behind Kelly's blatant self-assertiveness. It might irritate what +the other called the "ruck," but it also cowed them, and they got out of +his path; moreover, there was always the undeniable fact that the man +had genius of no common order. Jimmy had been perfectly sincere when he +said he had not come home intending to make his living by his pen. He +had thought of doing so, certainly, or rather had longed to do so; but, +like most amateurs, he had been deterred by what he had heard of the +difficulties, and had put the idea on one side. Now, however, the +proposition had come to him in a concrete form, from a man who had +succeeded, a man, moreover, who knew his capacity, and was able to judge +his prospects of success. After all, it was only part of that game of +drift which he had been playing for the last ten years; and the new +phase had this advantage—he might be able to make use of what he had +learned during the previous stages of his drifting. So he followed +Douglas Kelly out into Fleet Street, then down one of the narrow alleys, +to the <i>Herald</i> office.</p> + +<p>The main entrance to the <i>Record</i> building, that through which the +general public enters, when it wishes to pay for advertisements, or +consult the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span> files, or order back numbers, has a rather gorgeous swing +door and a quite gorgeous door-keeper in uniform with no less than four +medal ribbons on his breast; but all this is closed in by an iron grille +when normal people leave the City, and the staff has to enter through a +small door at the back, which is guarded by an old and surly porter, +over the window of whose box hangs a peremptory and uncleanly notice +forbidding anyone to smoke in the building.</p> + +<p>Douglas Kelly ignored both the porter and the notice, and went straight +up to the second floor, where, after a moment's parley with a +weary-looking secretary, he and Jimmy were admitted to the editor's room.</p> + +<p>Somehow, Jimmy had always pictured the editor of a great daily as a +plethoric person with keen eyes, and a background of leather-bound +volumes; but this one was thin and insignificant; there was not a single +book in his room, and, at the first glance, Jimmy was inclined to +believe that his friend had been right when he spoke of the editor +singing in a chapel choir. Yet, after Kelly had introduced him briefly, +as an old colleague, and Dodgson had put a few curt questions, Grierson +began to change his mind.</p> + +<p>Jimmy could talk well. He had, in an unusual degree, the art of putting +things vividly and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span> crisply, and he possessed an extraordinary memory +for those little details which give actuality to the picture. When he +described the shooting of a presidential candidate, Dodgson could see +the man with his grimy hands and torn collar, crumpling up as the volley +from the firing party caught him. The editor himself had never come in +contact with crude realities such as this—a London County Councillor +escaping by a hair's breadth from a fully-deserved conviction for +corruption over a tramway contract was the nearest approach he had +witnessed—but he understood the value of Jimmy's reminiscences, and, +without a moment's hesitation, he asked him for an article, hinting +plainly that, if the written matter were as good as his spoken words, +the paper would be glad of many others.</p> + +<p>Jimmy left the room with an unwonted sense of elation. Kelly had +withdrawn immediately he had introduced his friend, but he was waiting +in the doorway. "Well, what did you do?" he asked.</p> + +<p>"He's going to give me a chance," Jimmy answered. Kelly nodded. "Of +course he will. He must. I introduced you. Don't you realise, James +Grierson, that I am a man they dare not offend, because the great +fool-public wants stuff with my signature; and, if the <i>Record</i> upset +me,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span> I could go across the road to the <i>Herald</i> and, perhaps, get a +bigger salary? It's all a game of bluff, as I told you years ago in that +fan-tan shop in Shanghai. I know you won't bluff through as I have done, +because you have a streak of—what shall I call it?—early Victorian +modesty, in you; but still you will come out on top, because you've got +brains, instead of the whisky-soaked sponge which occupies the space +behind the brow of the average Fleet Street man."</p> + +<p>"I shouldn't think you're very popular in Fleet Street," Jimmy remarked grimly.</p> + +<p>Douglas Kelly shrugged his shoulders. "The ruck would dislike me anyway, +because I know more than it does. Still, it need not worry. I am going +to quit journalism, and go in for fiction soon, as you will do in due +course.... What's the time?" They had come out into Fleet Street again, +and he glanced upwards at the <i>Telegraph's</i> clock. "Half-past ten. It's +too late to take you down to stay at my place, as I can't telephone to +my wife. So I may as well stay in town. We'll wander round a bit, and +after closing time, I'll take you up to one of my clubs."</p> + +<p>"Your wife. So you're married?" Jimmy smiled, as though at some +recollection. "You seem to have done pretty well all round; whilst I am +still where I was."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span></p><p>The other took him up sharply, "Still where you were. Why, you've got +your head full of copy, and you're right at your market, instead of +being on that forsaken China Coast. Well, let's have a drink here for a start."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III"></a>CHAPTER III</h2> + +<p>Jimmy awoke in the morning with a slight headache, and a fixed +determination not to go out again with Douglas Kelly. True, it had cost +him nothing, Kelly having carried him from one club to another, cashing +a cheque at each, and spending the proceeds with such freedom as to +evoke a protest from his guest.</p> + +<p>"I want to impress you," Kelly had retorted. "I want to show you how +well I've done. I always do the same when I get hold of any of you +fellows from out there. Yet," he paused and looked at the other keenly, +"you're such a queer beggar, that I don't suppose you are impressed. I +needn't have tried it on you, after all," but, none the less, he had +declined to let his companion go, and it had been past three when a +sleepy night porter admitted Jimmy to the hotel, Kelly having declared +his intention of taking a room at the club they had visited last.</p> + +<p>Jimmy drew up his blind to find the sun shining in a cloudless sky, and +his spirits went up at once. As a result of the deluge of the night +before, London looked almost clean and bright, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span> he began to wonder +at his depression of the previous evening. After all, it was very good +to be home again, and, thanks to Kelly, he had already made a small +start, which might lead to much bigger things. Kelly, himself, had +arrived in England with nothing, an unknown man.</p> + +<p>From Kelly, his mind worked backwards to the girl he had seen enter the +cab. It was curious how her face seemed fixed in his memory. The thought +of her, and of her possible story, worried him all the time he was +shaving, and he found himself wishing he had never noticed her. Somehow, +he did not like the look of her companion, who seemed to treat her with +a very perfunctory sort of courtesy, verging on familiarity, or even +contempt. He was still thinking of her when he went down to breakfast; +but the sight of a copy of the <i>Record</i>, the first real English daily he +had seen for many years, a paper, moreover, which wanted him to write +for it, changed the current of his thoughts, and he forgot all about the girl.</p> + +<p>Dodgson had told him there was no hurry for the article, any time within +the next week or so would do, and he, himself, knew that it would be +impossible to write in the dreary atmosphere of the hotel; so he decided +to go down to the City and call on his brother, Walter. There was no<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span> +one else he wanted to see in town. All his former acquaintances had +dropped clean out of his life, or, rather, he had dropped out of theirs; +and, probably, he could not have found one of them, even had he wished +to do so, which was not the case. He was a very lonely man, he told +himself; and yet he did not feel bitter about that fact as he had done +on the previous night; his meeting with Kelly, and the new hope with +which the other had infused him, had changed his views greatly. Now, it +seemed as if he had a prospect of doing something definite, of starting +on a new career, his success in which would depend entirely on his own exertions.</p> + +<p>Walter Grierson was a short, clean-shaven man with a decidedly pompous +manner. He had been very successful in his profession, owing to his +energy, rather than to his mental capacity, and he regarded unsuccessful +men as little better than criminals. His whole outlook on life was +severe, except in his own home, where he was a generous husband and +indulgent father. Never having been tempted himself, he had no sympathy +with those who fell, being quite unable to understand them. Steadiness +was the virtue he most admired in younger men, meaning by that term the +capacity for choosing and sticking to an orthodox method of livelihood +and for maintaining an unwavering <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span>respectability of conduct. Jimmy's +career, the wanderings from one country to another, the continual +changes of occupation, had been a very real grief to him, violating as +it did every canon of his creed. No one could call his brother steady.</p> + +<p>Walter Grierson was engaged when Jimmy called, and the visitor spent +half an hour glancing round the gloomy office, and wondering how anyone +could be content to spend his days in such a place. He wanted to smoke, +but something in the attitude of the clerks restrained him, and he put +his cigarette case back into his pocket. He was not sure about the three +younger ones, whether they would be scandalised, or whether the smell of +the tobacco would arouse cruel longings which could not be satisfied +until the too-brief luncheon hour came round; but there was no mistaking +the reprobation in the old managing clerk's face. Even their richest +clients knew better than to disturb the microbes on the upper shelves +with their smoke. Those same clients were all City men, dignified, and +understanding the ways of the City, which are very different from those +of San Francisco or Johannesburg. In London, it is only foreigners and +green-fruit brokers and such like doubtful people, with neither +self-respect nor position to maintain, who break the City's law. +Stockbrokers are, of course, men apart from the rest.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span> They draw most of +their customers from a class which knows nothing of business; and must +therefore be humoured; moreover, a little eccentricity, a +lightheartedness, verging at times on the clownish, is useful, for, if +duly reported, it procures the Stock Exchange a free advertisement in +the Press. Even Mr. Marlow had been known to play football with a silk +hat and wave a little Union Jack, when the news of a British victory, +which meant an improvement in the Market, was recorded in a special +edition. But his brother-in-law, Walter Grierson, had never done any of +these things, having neither the need, nor the desire, for +advertisement. Jimmy did not know the City, but he knew a good deal of +mankind, and he gleaned something of the spirit and traditions of that +office, as his eyes wandered from the rows of black, shiny deed boxes to +the equally shiny pate of the managing clerk, and then to the +drab-looking girl typist, pale-faced and narrow-chested, who seemed to +finger the key-board as though the maddening click of her abominable +machine had killed any individuality she might once have had, and turned +her into a mere part of the mechanism of the City. The one spot of +colour in the office was an insurance company's calendar, and, even on +that, the design was crude and the inscription little more than a dull +list of figures. Jimmy sighed, pitying them<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span> all. He did not know that +those who have never experienced the crude things of life seldom have +any desire for them. Being prosaic, they are satisfied with prosaic +surroundings, which is a fortunate thing in an essentially prosaic age. +There is very little room for romance in a world which gauges success by +the measure of a reputed bank balance.</p> + +<p>At last, the client, who proved to have side whiskers and an +ivory-handled umbrella, took his departure, and Walter Grierson came out +in his wake. The solicitor greeted Jimmy, if not warmly, at least +sincerely; then sat down and slowly took stock of the returned wanderer.</p> + +<p>"You look better than I expected from what May told me you had said in +your last letter. Yes, you look decidedly better. Still, you have +changed a great deal, changed in many ways." He adjusted his gold-rimmed +pince-nez, in order to make a closer scrutiny.</p> + +<p>Jimmy laughed. "Well, you must remember, it's ten years since you saw me +last, and I wasn't very old then. You, yourself, look exactly the same. +I should have known you anywhere. How are Janet and the children?"</p> + +<p>Walter Grierson's face brightened perceptibly. He was a family man above +everything, and he gave his brother very full details. "Let me see,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span> +you've never seen George and Christine, have you?" he asked at the end +of the recital.</p> + +<p>Jimmy shook his head. "No, I have seven or eight unknown nephews and +nieces to inspect, or I'm not sure that it isn't nine. I've rather lost count."</p> + +<p>The elder man frowned slightly; it was not quite the thing to refer to +members of the family in that flippant way. Surely Jimmy could recollect +the number of his sister's children. He gave the tally of the latter, +with their names and ages, and with guarded comments on their +peculiarities, from which Jimmy gathered that they were decidedly +inferior to the little Walter Griersons. And after that there came a +pause, short in duration, certainly, but very significant. After ten +years' separation the brothers had exhausted their subjects of mutual +interest in little over ten minutes.</p> + +<p>Jimmy fingered the cigarette case in his pocket, knowing the consolation +and the wisdom to be found in tobacco; but he did not like to produce +it, and he had already noted that Walter's room was innocent of any +ash-tray; so, instead, he racked his brains for a new topic of +conversation. At last:</p> + +<p>"You're the sole partner here now, aren't you?" he asked.</p> + +<p>Walter nodded. "Yes, Jardine died three<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span> years back, and I don't want +anyone else till I can take in Ralph, my eldest boy. He has a nasty +cold, or you would have seen him in the office." He shook his head, as +though at the thought of the dangerous after-effects of colds, and it +struck Jimmy that, for a man of forty-three or forty-four, Walter was +very old and stuffy. He, himself, often felt old and more than a little +weary, but in quite another way. He was not snuffly and solemn in +consequence; it was only that he knew his youth was slipping from him +fast, perhaps had already slipped from him, as is the case with every +European who stays too long in countries made for the coloured man, and +it irritated him to think that, if success ever did come to him, it +would probably be when he had lost the capacity for enjoyment.</p> + +<p>"Have you made any plans for your future movements?" Walter asked suddenly.</p> + +<p>Jimmy started. "Well, yes—at least, last night I met an old friend of +mine, and he advised me to go in for writing. I've done a bit of it, of +course, and this man, Douglas Kelly—I expect you know his name." Walter +shook his head; he never read anything except the <i>Times</i>. "He's a man +who's made a big hit, and he knows what I can do. So I think of taking +his advice. The <i>Record</i> has already asked me for an article."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span></p><p>Once more, Walter Grierson frowned, and then he sighed. The only +journalists he had ever met had been connected with financial papers, +and his negotiations with them had taught him the subtleties of +scientific blackmail. Being a man of little imagination, though of +retentive memory, he judged the whole profession by the two or three +members of it, or rather pseudo-members, he had been unfortunate enough +to encounter professionally.</p> + +<p>"I am sorry to hear your decision, Jimmy," he said. "Very sorry, indeed. +You will find it a most precarious way of life, and it will bring you +into contact with highly undesirable people. I had hoped, we had all +hoped, that now you had returned you would settle down to something +steady. Personally, I think you will be making a great mistake. But I +suppose you know your own business best." He shook his head, as though, +in his own mind, he was quite sure Jimmy did not know anything of the sort.</p> + +<p>Then, once more, there was an awkward pause, and it was a relief to both +of the brothers when the junior clerk came in with a card in his hand. +Walter Grierson glanced at the name, then got up. "I am sorry, Jimmy; +but this is a man with whom I had made an appointment. I would ask you +to lunch with me, but there is more than a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span> probability of my having to +take him out. You must come down and stay with us soon. Janet told me to +give you her love, and ask you to fix a date. I am very glad you called. +Give my love to May when you see her to-night. And, Jimmy," he hesitated +a little, "of course it is not for me to advise you; but I do wish you +would reconsider that decision of yours. It's a most precarious calling, +most precarious, and, I am afraid, one full of temptations." There was +perfectly genuine concern in his voice, and yet, within a couple of +minutes, Jimmy and his affairs were clean out of his mind, and he was +deep in the business of his client.</p> + +<p>Jimmy lighted a cigarette on the landing outside his brother's office; +but neither the tobacco, nor the drink he had a few minutes later, could +alleviate his sense of disappointment. He was a very lonely man.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IV" id="CHAPTER_IV"></a>CHAPTER IV</h2> + +<p>The Marlow motor-car, large and luxurious, with red panels and an +expensive alien chauffeur, met Jimmy at the station. Mrs. Marlow hurried +down to the hall as she heard the throbbing of the engine outside the +front door, and greeted her brother with emotion which verged on tears.</p> + +<p>"I am very glad to see you again, Jimmy, dear," she said, kissing him a +second time. "And Henry, too, is delighted to have you. Of course, you +have grown a great deal older, but I don't know that you have changed +very much." She scrutinised his face, then noted, with something akin to +dismay, that his clothes, though well cut, were neither new nor fashionable.</p> + +<p>Jimmy, on his part, was trying to readjust his ideas. He had been +picturing May as still rather rosy and inclined to plumpness, +essentially suggestive of good nature and repose; now, he saw her thin, +almost angular, a little hard of feature, though retaining some of her +good looks. In his calculations, he had forgotten the four children she +had brought into the world since he had seen her last.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span></p><p>May asked him a number of questions about himself, his health, and his +doings, hardly waiting for his answers before passing on to something, +fresh, and hardly listening when she did allow him time to reply; then—</p> + +<p>"I'll take you up to your room," she said. "Your trunks have gone up +already. I have had to give you one of the smaller spare rooms, because +my sister-in-law will be back to-night—you remember Laura, of +course—and there may be someone else coming to-morrow." At the door of +his room she paused. "Dinner is at half-past seven. We always dress, but +don't you trouble, if you would rather not, or, or——" She stammered a little.</p> + +<p>Jimmy understood. "I always retained my suit through all my ups and +downs," he said with a smile. "It is the one absolute essential. It will +get you credit when nothing else will. Many a time I have gone to an +hotel with only the suit and a lot of old newspapers in my trunk, and +not five dollars in my pocket."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Marlow did not smile. Instead, she looked as she felt, shocked and +pained; and as she went downstairs she was casting round for some scheme +to stop Jimmy's flow of reminiscences. It would never do for him to talk +in that way before people like the Graylings or the Bashfords; whilst, +if the servants were to hear him, it would<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span> be all round the +neighbourhood in a couple of days that Mrs. Marlow's brother was, or had +been, a penniless adventurer.</p> + +<p>Jimmy did not come down till the dinner gong went; consequently, after +he had shaken hands with Henry Marlow, they went straight into the +dining-room, and May lost her chance of saying anything.</p> + +<p>Marlow himself was hungry and ate heartily, and the guest was distinctly +tired, thanks to Douglas Kelly; as a result, there was little said +during the first three courses, except by Mrs. Marlow, who gave her +husband a full account of all her own and the children's doings for that +day, and the names of the people on whom she had called, and of other +visitors whom she had met at their houses. Once or twice she tried to +include Jimmy in the conversation, by asking if he did not remember this +one or that, friends she had known before she was married; but, in every +case, they were merely names to him; they had all been grown up when he +was still at school, and now, after having forgotten their very +existence for ten years, he could not feel the slightest interest in them.</p> + +<p>After a while, Marlow, having taken the edge off his appetite, asked him +a few questions about his wanderings, but paid little heed to his +answers.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span> Even when Jimmy told, in his essentially picturesque way, the +story of John Locke's death, his brother-in-law merely remarked that +such things were never allowed to occur in the British Empire, though, +doubtless, they were to be expected under governments which had injured +the market so greatly in the past by repudiating their bargains. Their +debased silver currency and their worthless paper money were an absolute +scandal, he added.</p> + +<p>May, on her part, gave a little gasp when told of the end of Locke's +slayer; then, looking up, and seeing the parlour-maid standing +open-mouthed, with a sauce-boat balanced on a tray at a most dangerous +angle, she felt it was time to intervene.</p> + +<p>"Please don't give us any more horrors, Jimmy. We are not used to them +here. Mary," severely, to the parlour-maid, "the master's plate."</p> + +<p>Jimmy flushed and said no more; and, apparently, they were perfectly +content that it should be so, for the subject of his travels dropped, +and was not resumed, either then or afterwards. He saw that they were +not interested, even though they were his own people; and he listened in +silence when his sister went back to the apparently inexhaustible +subject of their friends. Certainly, whilst they sat smoking after +dinner, Henry Marlow did ask his guest some more questions,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span> a great +many more in fact, and listened with considerable attention to the +replies; but, as Jimmy noted with a kind of grim amusement, they were +all of an impersonal nature, having reference solely to mining +conditions in South American states. Jimmy's own experiences at the +hands of Dago patriots left his brother-in-law unmoved, being things +which belonged rather to books, and certainly had no part in the lives +of people of position; but the effect of those same patriots' doings on +the development of the country, and, consequently, on the profits of +British Enterprise, aroused his bitterest wrath. Once, some years +before, he had lost over a thousand pounds through a new president +revoking a lead-mining concession which his predecessor had granted; +and, that predecessor having been sent where neither letters nor writs +could reach him, none of the purchase money had been recovered despite +the efforts of the Foreign Office. Mr. Marlow, himself, had never +forgiven either the Dagos or the diplomatists, especially as the +concession had eventually gone to a German firm, which had made a clear +half-million out of it; and he argued, not without reason, that the most +effective form of negotiation would have been a whiff of grapeshot, or +its modern equivalent, from the guns of a British cruiser.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span></p><p>Jimmy listened patiently to the grievance, which took some time in the +telling, involving, as it did, full details of the careers and financial +standing of the directors of the ill-fated company, men of position and +weight in the City, who deserved very different treatment.</p> + +<p>"Disgraceful business, disgraceful," Henry added. "To think that the +British Government should allow us to be robbed by a snuff-coloured +rascal like that. Did you ever come across him?"</p> + +<p>"Who? President Montez?" Jimmy laughed apologetically. "I'm very sorry; +but I helped him with that revolution. I was pretty hard up at the time, +and I knew something about field guns, so they gave me a job."</p> + +<p>Mr. Marlow apparently saw nothing at which to laugh; in fact, he frowned +slightly. He held rather strong views on the subject of law and order; +moreover, there were people who would be very ready to sneer if they +heard Jimmy's story of the affair. But his chief thought was, as usual, +for his wife, who would be annoyed were she to learn the part Jimmy had played.</p> + +<p>"I shouldn't tell May, if I were you," he said. "In fact, I don't think +I should tell anyone. You see, it's not—what shall I say?—quite the +thing to be mixed up in those affairs, and it would stand<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span> in your light +over here, socially as well as from a practical point of view. You understand?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy nodded; at least he was beginning to understand.</p> + +<p>May was doing some fancy work when they joined her in the drawing-room; +but she glanced up with a smile as Jimmy entered, and told him to take +the chair next to hers. After all, he looked presentable, this brother +of hers, at any rate, in evening dress, a little thin for his height and +rather yellow in the face perhaps, but still there was about him a +certain indefinable air of distinction which most men she knew lacked. +There were girls who might even call him handsome. As she thought of +that, her mouth hardened momentarily. She must guard against any folly +of that sort by not introducing him in dangerous quarters until he was +in a very much better position financially. The last thought suggested a +question she had been intending to ask him at the first opportunity.</p> + +<p>"What are you thinking of doing now, Jimmy? I suppose you still intend +to remain at home?"</p> + +<p>Henry Marlow muttered something about the evening paper. He was always +tactful where his wife was concerned, and this was a Grierson concern, +in which he might seem an intruder. May would tell him anything there +was to tell later.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span></p><p>Jimmy, remembering Walter's reception of his news, hesitated slightly. +The assurance with which Douglas Kelly's words had filled him was oozing +out rather rapidly. It was one thing to decide on a literary career when +one was in a Bohemian club and the time was long after midnight; but, +somehow, in an essentially staid drawing-room, where there was more than +a hint of Victorian influence in the furniture, and with a sense of a +heavy dinner still oppressing him, matters seemed different. After all, +it was only natural that it should be so. He was a Grierson, with a +veneration for conventions in his blood, and, in the appropriate +surroundings, the force, so long latent as to be practically forgotten, +began to make itself felt, not very strongly, perhaps, but still the +fact remained that it was there. Just as his father had given in at +last, and gone to the City, so, for a moment, it seemed to Jimmy that he +must go. But then he remembered Walter's office, where you could not +smoke, and the only spot of colour was that inartistic insurance +calendar with its grim lists of figures.</p> + +<p>"I'm going to write," he said, "or at least try to write. I think I can +make a living at it. It's worth trying. There's nothing else, you see," +he added, a little lamely.</p> + +<p>May stopped in the middle of a stitch, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span> stared at him with something +akin to dismay. She remembered an article of his she had once read, +unsigned to be sure, and only in an obscure Hong Kong paper, but so +painfully outspoken that she had shown it to no one, not even to her +husband; and then rose up before her the vision of him writing similar +articles for London journals, and of the world, her world, knowing him +to be the author. She recognised her brother's cleverness, and it never +entered into her head to doubt that he could get his work into print; +she knew nothing of the financial side of journalism, and, for the +moment, what had formerly seemed the all-important question, Jimmy's +method of livelihood, was thrust into the background, owing to her fear +that he would do something to compromise both himself and his family.</p> + +<p>Yet, the idea had taken her so greatly by surprise that at first she did +not know what to say. She was not afraid of offending Jimmy or of +hurting his feelings. To her, he was still a boy, who would; or at least +should, listen to her advice.</p> + +<p>"Surely you don't mean that, Jimmy," she began. "I never dreamt of your +contemplating such a thing; and I shall be very sorry if you go on with +it. I am certain you will do yourself a lot of harm, for I know from +your letters that you have picked up a number of curious, and even<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span> +improper, ideas. We are all aware that there is a low public taste which +likes these things; but there are already more than enough writers +providing them. We had hoped that when you came home you would settle +down to regular work of some sort."</p> + +<p>Jimmy had coloured a little. "What sort?" he asked quietly.</p> + +<p>It was May's turn to flush; she did not quite like his tone, and, +moreover, she had no answer ready. "Some business, of course," she +answered tartly. "You have no profession. Henry has promised to see if +any of his friends have vacancies in their offices. I suppose you have +saved enough to keep you for a little while?"</p> + +<p>Her brother got up rather suddenly. He had been alone so long, playing a +lone hand, that he had forgotten the great unwritten law of the Family +Inquisition, whose main clause is that the common rules of courtesy do +not apply when two of the same blood meet; but still, he recognised the +genuine kindness underlying the inquiry, and stifled his resentment, +which May would not have understood, because she and Walter and Ida were +in the habit of asking each other similar blunt questions.</p> + +<p>"For a short time," he answered. "Enough for a week or two, and a friend +on the Press has<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span> put me in the way of getting one commission already. +As for a City office, I couldn't stand it for a day."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Marlow put another stitch in her fancy work, then pulled her thread +a little viciously, breaking it. "Well, I hope you will be careful, and +not write anything we need feel ashamed of. Remember, that though you +may have no position to lose, we have one."</p> + +<p>"You needn't be afraid of that, May." There was a suspicion of scorn, +and more than a suspicion of anger, in his voice. "It doesn't make much +difference if I don't write under my own name, so long as I can get the +dollars, which are what I'm out for."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Marlow gave in with a sigh. After all, so long as he kept the +family name out of print, there would not be much harm done; and it was +a relief to find that he looked at matters from a practical point of +view. Of course, he ought to have accepted Henry's assistance and gone +into the City; but if he would not do so, as seemed to be the case, it +was some consolation to find that he was apparently anxious to make +money in other ways.</p> + +<p>But when she talked the matter over with her husband after Jimmy had +gone up to bed, Henry Marlow shook his head. His opinions coincided<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span> +exactly with those of Walter Grierson. "A most precarious occupation," +he said, "and one which I should certainly not allow our boys to take +up. It's a great pity, as I believe I could have got him into Foulger's +office—Foulger and Hilmon, you know, the jobbers."</p> + +<p>Upstairs, Jimmy was smoking and staring into his fire. Somehow, he felt +very disappointed, as though he had been working on a false assumption, +and must readjust his ideas and then start afresh. He was little more at +home than he had been the previous night in the hotel.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_V" id="CHAPTER_V"></a>CHAPTER V</h2> + +<p>The hours of Jimmy's stay with the Marlows dragged by slowly. The +children, four boys, proved uninteresting in the extreme, whilst between +himself and Laura Marlow, May's sister-in-law, there was little in +common. Two other guests, an elderly aunt and uncle of Henry's, arrived +in time for dinner on the second night, and Jimmy retired more and more +into the background, or, rather, he found himself in the background by a +kind of natural sequence. No one wanted to put him there; in fact, both +his brother-in-law and his sister were kindness itself; but he was the +outsider in the party, sharing none of the interests of the others.</p> + +<p>He had been invited for a week, at least, longer if possible; yet at the +end of three days he was longing for an excuse to get back to town, +where he intended to take rooms; but no excuse presented itself, and so +he stayed on, spending most of his time in the billiard-room, a part of +the house seldom used in the daytime, writing, or trying to write, some +of the articles which Douglas Kelly had suggested. He had sent his copy +in to the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span> <i>Record</i>, and each morning, immediately after breakfast, he +strolled down to the little news agent's shop to buy a copy of the +paper—Mr. Marlow took no halfpenny journals—but when Sunday came round +it had not appeared.</p> + +<p>The Marlows were regular church-goers, at least Mrs. Marlow was, and her +husband always accompanied her when he was not away at the seaside, +golfing. May took her religion as part of her settled order of +existence. She had been bred up in it, and she would have resented any +attack on it as fiercely as she would have resented the abolition of +class distinctions. She believed in it, and, in a sense, she loved it; +but, with the one exception of her father's tragic death, her way +through life had been so smooth that she had never felt the need of its +consolations, and, consequently, had never analysed it in any way. Doubt +had never entered into her mind, because her creed seemed to suit her +circumstances so admirably. The well-dressed congregation, the +well-trained choir, the cushioned seats and reserved pews, the suave, +optimistic rector, and deferential curates—these were all part of a +nicely balanced state of society which kept motor-cars, or at least +broughams, and paid its tradesmen's bills by cheque on the first of the month.</p> + +<p>Henry Marlow seldom, if ever, gave the matter<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span> a thought; but he +subscribed generously when asked by the rector, and he kept the Ten +Commandments scrupulously, so far as his home life was concerned. He +respected the Church, as something which stood for solidity and the +security of property, like Consols and the Mansion House, and he +regarded Dissenters in much the same light as he did outside brokers, as +persons who should be watched by the police. He did not try to worship +both God and Mammon simultaneously; but, wholly unconsciously, he +divided his life into two parts, that which he spent in the City, and +that which he spent outside the Square Mile, and so avoided the difficulty.</p> + +<p>Jimmy, on the other hand, had heard very few services during the last +ten years, and of those the majority had been read by a layman, and had +begun with the words "I am the resurrection and the life, saith the +Lord." Lack of opportunity had kept him from attending in the first +case, and, after a while, having lost the habit of his boyhood, he had +ceased to think of taking such opportunities as did offer.</p> + +<p>"I think it must be five years at least since I went to anything but a +funeral service," he remarked to May, as they walked towards the big red-brick church.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Marlow threw a swift glance over her<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span> shoulder, fearing her other +guests, who were following, might have heard. "Hush, Jimmy," she said. +"It sounds so bad. Never say that again, especially before the servants. +The rector's housemaid is sister to my parlour-maid, and it would be +sure to get round to him. Of course, I know you have been in wild places +where there were no churches, and we understand, but others might not. +And all our friends are Church-people."</p> + +<p>Jimmy dropped the subject, and a few minutes later he was following her +rustling skirts up the broad centre aisle to the pew four rows back from +the pulpit. He wished it had not been so far forward, because the +worshippers interested him, if only by reason of their sameness of type. +You could see they were all people of position, with regular incomes and +hereditary political convictions, solid people of that slow-moving, +tenacious class which is the real backbone of the country, holding, as +it does, the greater part of the wealth, and producing, often by a kind +of apparent accident, the greater part of the intellect.</p> + +<p>Jimmy belonged to them by birth, and yet, as he sat amongst them, +listening to the lisping voice of the senior curate, he found it hard to +realise the fact. He tried his best to follow the service, to keep his +mind on it, but, somehow, the whole atmosphere seemed wrong. The church +was a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span> modern one, the work of a famous architect, and, therefore, +grossly inartistic, lacking every feature which makes for solemnity and +beauty. The detail was coarse and roughly finished, the red-brick walls, +as always, an offence to the eye; big texts seemed to squirm, like +semi-paralysed eels, over the chancel arch and round the East window. +The latter, off which Jimmy could hardly take his eyes, was a veritable +triumph of the Victorian tradition. Its colouring was gruesome, its +design grotesque; and yet it was a source of great pride to the +congregation as a whole, having been put in to the memory of a banker +who had left nearly a million. They no more dreamed of doubting its +artistic merits than they did of questioning the religion it was +supposed in some vague way to typify.</p> + +<p>The singing was good, the sermon grammatical and well delivered, and yet +Jimmy left the church with a feeling of dissatisfaction. He had expected +that this, his first service in England after ten years, would have +carried him back to the days when he knew nothing of the Tree of +Knowledge; but, instead of that, it had made no appeal to him. Its +poetry was destroyed by the hideousness of the surroundings; whilst even +the glorious words of the Benediction seemed but a perfunctory +dismissal, giving the congregation leave to hasten away<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span> to the heavy +dinners which were awaiting it at home.</p> + +<p>He was very silent on his way back, thinking of the past, and he was +only recalled to the present when May, seeing him producing his +cigarette case, thought it time to speak.</p> + +<p>"Jimmy," she said, rather severely, "it is hardly correct to smoke on +your way home from church. People notice that sort of thing so much."</p> + +<p>Her brother coloured, and thrust the case back into his pocket. A minute +later, he heard his sister's name spoken, and a tall, well-dressed woman +hurried up from behind.</p> + +<p>"I have been trying to overtake you for the last five minutes, May," she +said. "Only you have been walking as if you were very, very hungry," +then, disregarding Mrs. Marlow's little snort of annoyance, she turned +to Jimmy, "Don't you remember me, Jimmy—Mr. Grierson I suppose I ought +to say—I'm Ethel Grimmer, Ethel Jardine that was."</p> + +<p>Jimmy laughed and took the outstretched hand.</p> + +<p>"Of course I remember you now; but when I saw you in church where I +could only catch your profile obliquely, I was not quite sure who you +were. I didn't know you lived down here."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Grimmer laughed too, but mentally she<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span> registered another grievance +against May. So this Jimmy Grierson, who dressed quite decently after +all, and had a distinctly interesting face, was to be kept in the background.</p> + +<p>"I suppose you and May have found so much to talk about," she said. "I'm +sure you must, after being apart all these years, and you have such a +lot to tell." She was a handsome woman with fine eyes, and she knew how +to use them. "When May has done with you, or rather when she can spare +you for an hour or two, you must come and see us—Jimmy." She blushed a +little. "When will you let him come, May? How would dinner on Tuesday +do? I know you and Henry are going to the Foulgers' that night, and this +poor boy will be alone."</p> + +<p>May bit her lip to repress an exclamation of annoyance. She did not want +Jimmy to go to the Grimmers', but it was impossible to deny the +engagement with the Foulgers, and equally impossible to say that Jimmy +was going there with her—Ethel Grimmer knew how many people the Foulger +dining table would seat; so she gave in, and Jimmy arranged to go, +showing rather more eagerness over his acceptance than May considered +necessary. Indeed, she remarked so much to her husband whilst she was +taking off her hat; then a sudden thought struck her, and she paused,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span> +with her fingers still grasping a half-withdrawn hatpin.</p> + +<p>"Henry, do you remember what a silly fuss Ethel used to make over Jimmy, +just before he went abroad, how they used to go cycling together. Of +course, she's years older than he is, but still——"</p> + +<p>Marlow nodded solemnly; he had never really liked the Grimmers, and he +knew that, several times lately, Ethel had gone out of her way to annoy +his wife, whilst Grimmer himself had behaved like a fool over the Gold +Dredging Company, actually hinting that, because they knew each other +socially, he ought to have been warned when the thing was going wrong. +As if sentiment of that sort could be allowed to intrude on business. +Billy Grimmer had been in the City over twenty years, and it was quite +time he knew its ways.</p> + +<p>"Ethel is a vain, flighty woman," Marlow said, in reply to his wife's +remark. "She likes to have young men like Jimmy trailing after her; and +Grimmer only laughs. I suppose it's what they call being 'smart.' Pity +he doesn't put a little more smartness into his business affairs." He +chuckled slightly at the recollection of the dredging shares, which had +been some of those he, himself, had received as vendor. "Still, Jimmy +is<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span> old enough to take care of himself now," he went on, "and, after +all, he will be going back to town a day or two later."</p> + +<p>But May shook her head. "I must warn him not to talk too much—he seems +terribly indiscreet—and I think I shall give him a plain hint about +falling in love, and so on. From what Ethel said the other day, she is +quite capable of getting some silly girls with money to meet him."</p> + +<p>Meanwhile, Jimmy was staring out of the window of the billiard-room, and +smiling a little grimly at the memories which his meeting with Mrs. +Grimmer had reawakened. They had been very great friends in his +Sandhurst days, although she was several years his senior; and, for a +month or two after his departure from England, he had slept with her +photo under his pillow, and tried to imagine her warm farewell kisses on +his lips; and then, somehow, the photo had got mislaid, and the other +recollections had begun to lose their actuality, and when, a year later, +he had received the news of her engagement, he had written her a hearty, +and perfectly sincere, letter of congratulation. It would be distinctly +amusing to meet her under the new conditions, and see how much she was +disposed to remember.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VI" id="CHAPTER_VI"></a>CHAPTER VI</h2> + +<p>On Tuesday morning Jimmy opened the <i>Record</i> as usual at page 4, and the +first thing that caught his eye was his own article. He glanced down it +quickly, with an unusual sense of exaltation: never before had anything +of his appeared in a great London daily; and the <i>Record's</i> circulation +ran to a considerable fraction of a million. There was no one with him +to whom he could show it; but he was passing an hotel, the "Railway +Tavern," and he turned in at the door, to celebrate his luck, and read +his work through quietly.</p> + +<p>The barmaid, who was polishing her spirit measures, looked at him +curiously. "You seem mighty pleased about something," she said at last, +perhaps a little resentfully, as though feeling that her own rather, +full-blown charms deserved more attention than the paper.</p> + +<p>Jimmy glanced up with a smile. "There's an article of mine here," he +said, holding out the sheet.</p> + +<p>The girl knit her brow and spelled out the heading. "My! Is that your +writing? What's it<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span> all about. Anything spicy?" But, though she was +regarding him with more interest than before, she made no attempt to read his work.</p> + +<p>Jimmy finished his drink and folded up the paper. Somehow, at the second +reading, it had not seemed so good. There were at least two clumsy +sentences, and the fool of a printer had chopped out half a dozen +commas. He could see now where he could have made several improvements, +and he had little doubt that Dodgson would see too, and, perhaps, reckon +him a careless workman. He had yet to learn how much, or how little, the +public recks of either grammar or punctuation, how it prefers +semi-truths tempered by split infinitives to facts stated in balanced prose.</p> + +<p>As he came out of the hotel, his mind was full of the career which +seemed to lie ahead of him, and he did not notice Laura Marlow walking +up the other side of the road; but Miss Marlow saw him, saw too where he +had been, and duly reported the fact to May when she returned to the house.</p> + +<p>Jimmy found his sister in her boudoir, busy with her tradesmen's books, +searching for the errors which certainly would have been there had the +butcher and the baker and the grocer not learned long since that Mrs. +Marlow was in the habit of checking her accounts, a habit which<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span> they +viewed with a mixture of scorn and wrath, tempered by not a little fear. +They regarded her much as a municipal politician regards a chartered +accountant; but they knew it was useless to add up two and five as +eight, or to charge for fresh butter when cooking butter had been +ordered. May allowed no one to rob her husband, even of a halfpenny. +They called her a hard woman, and said many bitter things about her as +they foregathered outside the chapel after service; but, none the less, +they supplied her with far better goods than those they sent to Mrs. +Grimmer, who paid her bills spasmodically, without attempting to check them.</p> + +<p>May glanced at the paper her brother held out, but she did not attempt +to take it. "I will read it by and by, when I've time," she said; then +she noticed his name below the heading and frowned. "I thought you were +going to write under an assumed name," she added.</p> + +<p>Jimmy coloured slightly. "I've changed my mind," he said, rather +shortly. "I don't see why I should disguise myself. It's nothing to be +ashamed of, as you'll see if you read it."</p> + +<p>His sister sighed and picked up her pencil again. "I must get on with +these tiresome tradesmen's books. Oh, don't leave that paper there, +Jimmy." He had put it down on the table. "There's so<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span> much litter about +already. I'll ask you for it later."</p> + +<p>Jimmy picked up the <i>Record</i> again and left the room without another +word. His sister's apparent lack of interest hurt him more than he cared +to acknowledge, even to himself; and his sense of grievance deepened as +the day went by without her making any other reference to his article. +Yet, after lunch, she found time to put in an hour studying a children's +fashion paper with the greatest attention. He had the cutting from the +<i>Record</i> in his pocket-book, ready for her or any of the other guests to +see, but it remained there until the evening, and when he dressed to go +to the Grimmers' he left it behind deliberately. He was not going to +risk another snub.</p> + +<p>On entering the Grimmer drawing-room, however, Ethel met him with a copy +of the paper in her hand.</p> + +<p>"Billy just brought this home from town," she said. "A man showed it to +him in the train. I like it very much indeed, and so does my husband." +She paused and gave a little laugh. "It's awfully nice of you to come, +Jimmy, and—and, not be jealous or anything silly. Still, that was all +years ago, wasn't it?"</p> + +<p>"You look just the same," he answered, smiling back at her.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span></p><p>She laughed again, flattered, and yet relieved at his tone—some men do +remember such a stupidly long time, and she had half feared lest her +guest might be one of them. "Now you are being silly," she answered, +lightly. "I am sure May wouldn't approve of that. But I know you're +going to be good, and, as a reward, I've got two very nice girls for you +to meet. Ah, here's Billy." Then she introduced the two men, adding, +"Billy knows all about you already."</p> + +<p>The nice girls proved to be respectively Miss Farlow, the daughter of +the rector, and Miss Barton, whose mother had a large house next to that +of the Marlows, for whom she entertained that measure of good will which +usually exists between near neighbours; but, none the less, she was very +pleasant to Jimmy, knowing nothing of his financial position. Young men +were by no means plentiful in the neighbourhood.</p> + +<p>The rector, too, was pleasant, for very similar reasons, although, as a +matter of fact, he was affable to all his parishioners and their +relatives. There were no poor amongst his flock, no self-evident black +sheep, and, consequently, he was able to know every member of his +congregation socially, which, as he was never tired of repeating, was +most comforting to a conscientious man.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Grimmer, having secured Jimmy, did not<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span> mean to allow his light to +remain hidden, as May apparently intended it should be; consequently, +dinner had scarcely begun before she started to draw him out +scientifically, and, after the dullness of the last few days, her guest +was not loath to talk. He was always interesting, but this time he was +almost brilliant; and when Ethel gave the signal to the other ladies, +she left the room feeling that she had scored greatly over Mrs. Marlow, +who would now have to explain why she had kept this distinctly +interesting brother in the background. Grimmer, too, was pleased, +foreseeing a chance of annoying Marlow in the train by bringing up the +subject of Jimmy's adventures.</p> + +<p>Ethel managed to keep her guest until the others had gone, and even then +she did not seem inclined to let him go.</p> + +<p>"Stay and have a whisky and soda and another cigar with Billy. I know +you would like one, and I'm quite sure it won't hurt that fat butler of +May's to sit up an extra half-hour to let you in. I don't suppose May +has given you a latchkey."</p> + +<p>Jimmy shook his head at the latter suggestion, then followed her into +the smoking-room.</p> + +<p>"I think I shall have a cigarette, too, Billy," she said to her husband, +after she had settled her rather elaborate draperies into a big leather +chair, "only you mustn't tell May, Jimmy. I am quite<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span> sure she never +smoked. I didn't myself until this husband of mine taught me." She took +a few whiffs, then, "Which did you like best?" she asked, suddenly. +"Mary Barton will have the most money; but Vera Farlow is the better +looking, and, they say, her father will probably be a bishop some day. +You see, he has private means, and married an earl's granddaughter."</p> + +<p>Her guest parried the question, a little awkwardly; whereupon Mrs. +Grimmer, seeing his embarrassment, let the matter drop, and went on to +ask about his plans for the future. "I wonder you don't live with some +of your own people," she said, when he told her of his intention to take +rooms. "But, still, I suppose it would be dull for you. What do you say, +Billy?... You must come down here for a week-end as soon as you can find time."</p> + +<p>It was an hour later when Jimmy left; and the fat butler had already +finished the bottle of port and gone to sleep, with the result that only +at the third ringing of the bell did he awaken and stumble upstairs to +the front door. Jimmy was feeling more than ever disappointed at the +attitude of his own people, more than ever ready to disregard both their +wishes and their advice. After all, Ethel Grimmer had far more brains +and sympathy than May; whilst Grimmer, though not <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span>over-brilliant, was +more interesting than Henry Marlow. He woke up next morning with his +sense of grievance still unabated; and his disappointment changed to +something very like anger when May called him into her boudoir after +breakfast, and proceeded to cross-examine him as to whom he had met at the Grimmers'.</p> + +<p>"I hope you will remember these people are all our friends, even more +than they are Ethel's, Jimmy," she said severely, "and I trust you will +not let Ethel fill your head with her own silly ideas about getting +married and so on. Both Mrs. Barton and Mrs. Farlow will only allow +their girls to marry men of means and position."</p> + +<p>"And you mean that I have neither." Her brother laughed bitterly. "Good +heavens, May, do you think I came home to get married, and live on a +stodgy father-in-law? I've got plenty of other things to think about." +But although he brushed the matter aside scornfully, May's words +remained in his memory. Only men of means and position were wanted in their circle.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VII" id="CHAPTER_VII"></a>CHAPTER VII</h2> + +<p>Jimmy's original intention had been to take a couple of rooms of which +Douglas Kelly had told him. They were somewhere in that queer maze of +little streets and courts which lies at the back of Fleet Street, and +would have suited him admirably. But May had objected strongly to the +idea. No one they knew had ever dwelt in such a quarter; and both she +and Henry agreed that it was not the thing for any young man, especially +for a young man of Jimmy's temperament, to live in a place where nobody +would know what he was doing, or what hours he kept. So she had written +to a former maid of hers, who had married and settled in a South London +suburb, and arranged for her to board and lodge Jimmy for a fixed weekly sum.</p> + +<p>Jimmy had given in reluctantly, though he had not shown his reluctance +openly. Abroad, he had gone his own way, doing just as it seemed good to +him; but in England it was different. He was not afraid of his own +people; but he was anxious not to shock them in any way; and, at the +same time, contact with them had brought back<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span> much of his respect for +those conventions which had governed his boyhood. He was a Bohemian by +habit, and largely so by nature, yet when he was amongst those who lived +settled lives their influence and example seemed to revive some latent +instinct of staid respectability within himself, and, to a certain +extent, he came to see things with their eyes. True, the phase passed +quickly, so quickly that often during the ensuing months his own people +wondered whether he were not a hypocrite. They were used to men with +fixed temperaments, men you could rely upon to maintain a suitable +standard of propriety. The other kinds they ignored socially, as they +certainly would have ignored Jimmy, had he not been of their own blood; +but they belonged to a class which reckons family as second only to +property, which, though it may quarrel with its relations, always +remembers the relationship, and the sacred right of interference which +relationship gives.</p> + +<p>Jimmy's new lodgings were half an hour's journey from the City. You +reached them by means of an uncleanly train, whose driver seemed to be +perpetually on the look-out for an excuse to stop with a jolt. You got +out—usually ten minutes late—at a smoke-grimed station, and emerged +into a wide thoroughfare, lined on either side with shops of the +margarine-and-spot-cash variety, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span> horrible with the screeching and +rattling of gigantic municipal trams, which appeared to run solely for +the pleasure of the motorman and conductor. The third turning on the +right and then the second on the left brought you to Mrs. Benn's house, +semidetached and severe looking, with heavy curtains and a brass plate +on a front door bearing the single word "Apartments."</p> + +<p>Jimmy groaned inwardly as the cab drew up at the little iron gate, and +he wished, once more, that he had not given way to his sister. A band, +obviously the product of a happy and musical Fatherland, was just +packing up its music stands some fifty yards lower down the street; +whilst, as he mounted the steps of the house, two Dagos appeared round +the next corner, trundling a piano organ, on the top of which was seated +what was apparently a small and long-tailed relative of their own. His +rooms, however—two on the first floor—though small, were quite +cheerful for their kind, whilst the meat tea, which the landlady +presently brought up, was distinctly promising.</p> + +<p>He had no stuff of his own, beyond the clothes in his trunks, not even a +book or a photograph; and during his wandering days the lack of such +things had never struck him; but now he found himself registering a +mental vow to buy some pictures as soon as possible, if only to have an +excuse for<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span> banishing the German reproductions of mid-Victorian art +which disfigured the walls of his sitting-room. The painters of the +originals had all borne great names, or at least had been accounted +great in their generation; but as he sat smoking after tea, and staring +at these glazed abominations, he wondered who had been the greater +sinner, the English artist or the Teutonic engraver; probably the +former, he told himself, for, after all, the latter had only spoiled +what detail there might have been; he had copied the smugness and the +false sentiment, perhaps rejoiced in them as being essentially the +products of Teutonic thought, but it had been the Englishman who had put +that smugness on to the canvas in the first case.</p> + +<p>Unfortunately, it was easier to want new pictures than to get them, even +though they might cost but a few shillings apiece. Jimmy's total capital +amounted to a bare fifteen pounds, and his means of subsistence so far +appeared to consist of the introduction to Dodgson of the <i>Record</i>. Not +that the fact troubled him greatly. A more sanguine man would have been +haunted by the fear of his money giving out before any earnest of future +success came to him; a less experienced man would never have dreamed of +making the attempt at all; but Jimmy was used to being hard pressed for +cash, and had learnt in a rough school not to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span> expect very much. He was +used to drifting, and, in any case, he had practically nothing to lose.</p> + +<p>On the first morning Jimmy went out to have a look at the neighbourhood, +but after an hour's walk he had seen enough to kill any desire he might +have felt for further exploration. The whole district was prosaic and +unlovely, saturated with the spirit of municipal government. There were +rows and rows of jerry-built houses running at right angles to the High +Street, houses with small rooms and big rates, occupied by tired-looking +men who hurried to the station about half-past eight every morning, and +did not get back again till after seven in the evening, when you would +meet them walking homewards rather slowly, shuffling a little perhaps, +as overworked clerks are prone to do, and still carrying the halfpenny +paper which they had bought on their way to town. They had read every +word in it, and their wives would be too busy, or too worn-out, to give +it a glance; but still it had a value as fire-lighting material. +Halfpennies were not negligible factors in those desirable villa +residences. You could see that when the women folk went out to do their +morning shopping. Some of them were flashily-smart, some, most perhaps, +drab and weary like their husbands; but all had to pay cash to those +prosperous tradesmen in the High Street, every<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span> one of whom looked like +a councillor, or, at the very least, a guardian, having the air of +growing rich at the expense of the multitude.</p> + +<p>There seemed to be a council school, aggressive in its hideousness, up +every second side street; the grinding whirr of the municipal trams was +always in your ears, to remind you of the poverty of the neighbourhood +in case our eyes should play you false, that worst form of poverty which +has to wear a decent black suit and possesses the mockery of a vote; +whilst the only alternative to the pavements—laid by a +councillor-contractor, and kept in repair by means of a special +rate—was the recreation ground, in which a plethoric and guardian-like +official spent his days in keeping the embryo ratepayers off the +sacrosanct municipal grass. You felt you were in the clutch of a +horrible machine, or rather of two machines, unallied perhaps, yet very +similar in operation, for both took as much as possible and grudged +giving anything in return. From nine till six you were part of the +mechanism of the City, wearing yourself out for the bare means of +subsistence, often without the slightest hope of further advancement, +always with the dread of dismissal as soon as your hair began to turn +grey, when a younger, cheaper man, or a German volunteer, would take +your place. There was nothing in the present, save the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span> eternal +necessity for economy; nothing in the future, save the fear of +unemployment. At night, you returned home, to be gripped by the +municipal Frankenstein's monster, which you and your fellows had helped +to make. You were never free man, you never could be free; because in +London the price of freedom is usually starvation for your children and +prison for yourself, if you cannot satisfy the demands of the "Guardians of the Poor."</p> + +<p>Jimmy smiled grimly to himself as he noted the new Town Hall. He had met +a good many robber-politicians during his wanderings in the Dago +Republics; but all of them had, at least, the saving grace of frankness. +The aim and end of their policy was to arrive safely in Paris, with the +contents of the national treasury as their baggage. They did not hunger +after honours, such as knighthoods, or aspire to speak at Sunday +afternoon gathering in pseudo-places of worship. Certainly, they told a +number of flamboyant falsehoods before getting into office, but that was +the only respect in which they copied civilised political methods; and +they did run a risk from which their English counterparts would have +shrunk in a cold sweat of fear. The price of failure was death.</p> + +<p>The one tour of inspection satisfied Jimmy. He<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span> saw the tragedy +underlying the lives of these people, saw it far more clearly, perhaps, +than they did themselves, for he had known so many other phases, whilst +they were inured to the drab monotony, most had been born to it, and so +its full meaning was mercifully hidden from them. They would have waxed +wrath at hearing it called a poor locality, in fact it was not one, +being eminently respectable, as any house agent could tell you. Why, the +late mayor, who died during his third term of office, had left nearly a +hundred thousand pounds.</p> + +<p>For three days Jimmy wrote steadily, doing no less than five articles of +the type which the <i>Record</i> had accepted. One he sent to Dodgson, the +others to papers which Douglas Kelly had mentioned, and then, suddenly, +inspiration seemed to fail him. He could not write a line, could not +even think of a subject; and, for a whole day, he felt something nearly +akin to dismay. If his ideas ran out as quickly as this his prospects +were small indeed; and when the postman brought back two of his +manuscripts, with printed slips conveying the editor's thanks and +regrets, he began to curse his own folly in ever coming home.</p> + +<p>That evening, the craving for companionship he had felt in the hotel the +night he landed came back to him again. He had spoken to no one,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span> save +his landlady, for the better part of a week, and the loneliness seemed +unbearable. He sent his supper away, practically untasted, then, without +giving Mrs. Benn a chance to come up and comment on the smallness of his +appetite, took his hat and went out.</p> + +<p>It was Early Closing Day, and the High Street was thronged, mainly with +the liberated shop assistants. Jimmy walked slowly, and, owing perhaps +to that fact, he got more than one glance, encouraging him to begin an +acquaintance with young ladies in cheap and showy raiment. But none of +them made the slightest appeal to him. He had no taste for an insipid +flirtation with a girl who would probably play havoc with the aspirates. +He had met many women far less innocent than these, and there had been +more than one passage in his life which he did not recall with pride; +and yet, withal, he was still fastidious where women were concerned. The +only one who had interested him since his return home was the girl whom +he had seen entering the cab in the Strand. Somehow, her face remained +fixed in his memory, and many times since that evening he had found +himself wondering who she was, what her story could be.</p> + +<p>He walked down to the bottom of the High Street, to where the trams +swerved round a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span>corner with a whirr and a jolt into the domain of the +next borough council. There was a large public house at that point, with +much brass work and mahogany about its swing doors, and he turned in, +not so much because he wanted anything to drink, but because it seemed +the obvious alternative to the dreariness of his own rooms or the +boredom of the street.</p> + +<p>The presiding deity welcomed him with the smile she reserved for new +customers. Trade was not very brisk in the saloon bar—there were eight +other licensed houses in the street—and she tossed her peroxide-dyed +curls and flashed her new teeth at him as she poured out his whisky.</p> + +<p>"You look pretty doleful about something," she remarked.</p> + +<p>Jimmy laughed. "I was till I came in here." Then he began to chat to +her, about nothing in particular, and somehow the time passed so quickly +that it was closing time before he took his leave. She had not +interested him in the least; but she was someone to talk to, and the +five or six drinks he had taken had cheered him up temporarily. It was +only when he got out into the now-emptying street that he remembered +that he had not got a latchkey.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Benn was sitting up for him, and received him with a rather sour face.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</a></span></p><p>"I didn't know you was going to be late, sir," she said severely. "Mrs. +Marlow wrote that you would always be in in good time."</p> + +<p>Jimmy muttered an apology and took his candle. On the top stair of the +first flight he caught his foot in a loose piece of carpet, and +stumbled, dropping the candlestick, which broke off at the base. In +silence, Mrs. Benn fetched another, and handed it to him with an air of +resignation, then, "You'll be sure and put it out safe, sir," she said.</p> + +<p>Jimmy saw what was in her mind, and laughed, though there was a note of +annoyance in his voice as he attempted to reassure her; but his +annoyance would have changed to wrath had he known that the early post +next morning carried a letter to May describing how he returned home the worse for liquor.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VIII" id="CHAPTER_VIII"></a>CHAPTER VIII</h2> + +<p>The morning post consisted of a manuscript returned from the <i>Daily +Herald</i>. Jimmy tossed the package on to the side table, with an +exclamation of disgust, not even troubling to ascertain if there were +any enclosure beyond the ordinary printed slip. Then, suddenly, he +decided to go up to town to see if he could find Douglas Kelly.</p> + +<p>"Will you be late again, sir?" Mrs. Benn asked, severely.</p> + +<p>"I think not," Jimmy answered, then, remembering his former experience +with Kelly, he added, "still you might let me have a latchkey on the +chance. I meant to have asked you for one before."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Benn sighed, fumbled in a pocket, took a key off her own bunch, and +handed it to her lodger with an air of resignation.</p> + +<p>"Mrs. Marlow said as you would always be in early." She repeated her +remark of the previous evening. "But if you are going to be late, sir, I +must ask you to be very careful with the candle. One does read of such +awful things,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</a></span> folks burnt in their beds. I'm sure I'm afraid to look at +the papers in these days."</p> + +<p>Jimmy tried to laugh, but the sound spoke of irritation rather than of +amusement. "I don't think you need be afraid of me, Mrs. Benn, though I +did twist my ankle on that loose piece of carpet last night."</p> + +<p>The landlady sniffed, and descended to the basement, where she relieved +her feelings, and conveyed a moral lesson, by smacking the head of her +youngest son, who was not wearing his Band of Hope ribbon.</p> + +<p>"Poor children, can't they keep sober without joining a temperance +society?" a young lady lodger had once said, with a show of sympathy, +and since then the badges had not been greatly in evidence; but now they +should be brought out again as a rebuke to Mrs. Marlow's brother.</p> + +<p>Jimmy went to the club which he knew Kelly used most, but the journalist +was not there. The waiter on duty surveyed the caller critically through +a window, then, having grown grey and wise in the ways of literary men, +he decided that Jimmy was not a creditor, and volunteered some +information. "Mr. Kelly's not been in yet, sir; but he's sure to come to +get his letters. So you might call again."</p> + +<p>Jimmy strolled about until two o'clock—he was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span> not of the kind which +calls just before lunch-time—then went back to the club.</p> + +<p>"Not in yet, sir," the waiter said. "But he may come about four o'clock +for a cup of tea. He usually does, if he's in town."</p> + +<p>Jimmy sighed. He was sick of waiting about; but he craved for the +society of someone he knew, and the idea of going back to spend the rest +of the day in those suburban lodgings seemed intolerable. So he decided +to wait, and walked down the narrow side street into the Strand, and +thence westwards, in more or less aimless fashion. He had never known +town sufficiently well to note the changes which the last ten years had +brought; possibly, they would not have interested him greatly in any +case, for he was a Londoner by birth, and the true Londoner looks at the +people and ignores the buildings.</p> + +<p>He walked slowly, up to Piccadilly Circus, and thence along Regent +Street to Oxford Circus, where he turned eastwards again.</p> + +<p>"Are you saved?" A tall gaunt man, in shabby clerical costume and black +woollen gloves, whispered the words in his ear, endeavoured to thrust a +tract into his hand, then hurried on towards the Circus. Jimmy looked +round quickly to see him repeat the process with an obviously astonished +German, then forgot all about the crank and his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span> ways, for, coming up +behind him, clad just as she had been the night he saw her getting into +the cab in the Strand, was the tall girl whose face had been haunting his memory.</p> + +<p>Jimmy turned aside quickly and stared into a shop whilst she was +passing, then started to follow her at a little distance, not with the +least idea of making her acquaintance, but because some curious instinct +seemed to compel him to do so. She was walking rather fast, holding her +head erect, and looking neither to the right nor to the left; and, a +moment later, Jimmy saw the reason, for, just behind her, obviously +dogging her steps, was a great, overdressed African native, typical of +those who are sent by scores to England, to have a so-called education +wasted on them, sensual and lickerous savages, who may be quite +admirable as carriers in the West Coast jungles, but are wholly +abominable when allowed loose in the streets of London.</p> + +<p>In common with every sane Englishman who has travelled, Jimmy had no +illusions left on the colour question. To him, the bare idea of a +coloured man speaking to a white woman was horrible, and here was the +worst form of coloured man, the son of the cannibal and the +devil-worshipper, trying to force himself on a white girl. Jimmy went +hot suddenly, a woman who was passing gave<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span> a little gasp as she saw the +look in his eyes; then he quickened his pace to catch up the two in +front, coming behind them in time to see the native deliberately jostle +the girl, then raise his glossy silk hat with a lascivious smile and +begin an apology. With flaming cheeks, the girl turned quickly, coming +face to face with Jimmy; but her persecutor's blood was up, and he +followed, still hat in hand. In a moment, Jimmy saw red, and, almost +before he knew what he was doing, he had caught the other on the point +of the jaw with his fist. The black man staggered, but recovered +himself, and for an instant it looked as though he were going to show +fight; but his colour told, and he looked round for a line of retreat, +just as a policeman, seeing the rapidly-gathering knot of spectators, +came up to investigate.</p> + +<p>Jimmy, white-faced and fierce-eyed, listened in contemptuous silence +whilst the coloured man was giving his version, which was corroborated +by a rather long-haired person with a small white tie, who professed to +have seen the incident.</p> + +<p>"This person"—he indicated Jimmy with a wave of a podgy hand—"this +person struck the dark gentleman a most cruel blow, entirely unprovoked. +I shall be most happy to give evidence," and he produced a card, a +printed one, stating that he was the Rev. Silas Lark, whilst<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</a></span> the +address indicated that his business was the conversion of the heathen.</p> + +<p>The constable gave him a keen look, and took the slip of pasteboard +rather doubtfully. "I see," he said, then he turned to Jimmy. "What have +you got to say to it all, sir?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy told his story in a few words, then he glanced round to where the +girl had been standing; but, with a mingled sense of disappointment and +relief, he saw that she had slipped away. "I don't want to bring the +lady's name into it, of course," he added, as he gave his own name and address.</p> + +<p>"Now, then, move on there." The constable closed his notebook and +dispersed the little crowd; then he turned to Jimmy again, "I don't +expect you'll hear any more of this, sir. We've had one or two +complaints about that black man and his friends, and as for the Reverend +Mr. Silas," he smiled, grimly, "we've been told to watch him as a +pickpocket." He glanced at Jimmy again. "You look as if you've come from +abroad, sir, or else I shouldn't have told you so much. Take it from me, +Oxford Street is just alive with wrong 'uns in the afternoon, women as +well as men." Then he drew himself up, and went on to superintend the +raising of a fallen cab-horse, which served also to draw off the few who +were still staring at<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span> Jimmy. He was looking for the tall girl; and, a +moment later, he was rewarded by seeing her coming out of a tea-shop +with a paper-bag in her hand. She gave him a frank little smile of +recognition, and, emboldened, he raised his hat and went up to her.</p> + +<p>"Thank you so much," she said. "I—I hope there won't be trouble for +you. I couldn't be in it, you see, so I slipped in there on the excuse +of buying a bun."</p> + +<p>"Oh, it'll be all right," Jimmy answered lightly. "I don't mind paying a +fine for the pleasure of teaching a nigger manners," then, seeing she +looked tired and upset, he asked suddenly, "Will you come and have some +tea in here?" indicating a large restaurant they were passing.</p> + +<p>The girl nodded. "Thank you. I should like some," she answered simply. +Her voice was sweet and refined, and, seeing her closely, Jimmy found +that she was even better-looking than he had imagined, whilst her +carriage was perfection.</p> + +<p>Nothing more was said until they were seated at one of the little tables +in the palm court, then, suddenly, "Oh, how I loathe those black men." +She brought the words out with a little shudder. "There are three or +four of them haunt Oxford Street."</p> + +<p>"Are you often about town?" Jimmy asked.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span> She looked at him with a kind +of grave surprise; then she turned away as she answered, "I am always +about town. I have to be. You understand?" Her voice was very low, but +the words were perfectly distinct.</p> + +<p>Unconsciously, Jimmy twisted his gloves in his two hands so fiercely +that one of them tore nearly in half. The daylight seemed to have gone +suddenly, leaving the gilding of the place dull and heavy. He +understood. Her words had killed all the romance of their meeting; yet, +when he looked at her again, he could hardly believe she was speaking the truth.</p> + +<p>The waiter brought the tea, and she poured it out, with far more grace +of manner and movement than Mrs. Marlow would have shown. Moreover, she +made no affectation about not wanting the dainty little sandwiches and +cakes. "They are so delicious that I feel it's a sin to leave them," she +said, when he declared he would have no more.</p> + +<p>"What is your name?" he asked abruptly, breaking what had been rather a +long silence. She was dusting some minute crumbs off her dress, and she +answered without looking up, "Penrose, Lalage Penrose."</p> + +<p>She did not ask for his name, but he volunteered it; then, "May I come +and see you?" he added.</p> + +<p>The girl hesitated a moment. "Why not?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span> she asked at last, but she +flushed at her own words, and her hand was unsteady as she wrote down +the address, which was one of a block of flats near Baker Street.</p> + +<p>"Can I come to-morrow afternoon?"</p> + +<p>She nodded and got up. At the entrance of the restaurant she stopped and +held out her hand. "Good-bye, and thank you."</p> + +<p>"It's only <i>au revoir</i>, isn't it?" he answered, as he raised his hat, +then without looking back, for fear she would think he was watching her, +he walked away rapidly, his feelings a mixture of elation and of +something very nearly akin to misery.</p> + +<p>Douglas Kelly was in when Jimmy called again at the club. "The waiter +gave me your card and I supposed you would come along soon. You look a +bit doleful. What are you going to drink?... That was a good article of +yours in the <i>Whitehall Gazette</i> this evening."</p> + +<p>Jimmy set his glass down suddenly. "I haven't seen it; in fact, I was +expecting to find the manuscript waiting for me when I got back."</p> + +<p>Kelly laughed. "So that's the reason of the dumps? The postman drops 'em +through the letter-box with a kind of sickening thud, and you feel +there's nothing left to live for, unless it's to kill the editor. I went +through it all, until I made<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span> 'em understand they must have my signature +at my own price. Still, you haven't done so badly in the few days you've +been home. Dodgson tells me they've got another article of yours in +type. Here, Romsey," he hailed a man who had just come in, whose face +somehow seemed familiar to Jimmy, "I want to introduce you to an old +colleague of mine, Grierson, who is going to knock spots out of you all."</p> + +<p>The new-comer grinned. "I've seen him knocking spots out a nigger in +Oxford Street already. It'll be in the next edition of the <i>Evening +Post</i>, 'Outrageous assault on an African Prince.' I happened to be +passing and got seven shillings-worth of copy out of it," he added, +turning to Jimmy. "I left your name out, though. But, you see, the +<i>Evening Post</i> believes in a man and a brother, and sacks its boys if it +finds they have been vaccinated; so the story exactly suited them. The +Prince, too, has just sold the gold-mining rights of his native swamp, +and has held a reception in Exeter Hall, so he in himself was good stuff +for us." Then he gave Kelly a moderately truthful account of what had occurred.</p> + +<p>Kelly did not laugh. "It won't go down here, Jimmy, that sort of thing. +Of course you were right; it's an abominable scandal to let these +niggers loose; but at home people'll never understand<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span> it. If your name +were to come out, you would be done, right away. And," he looked at him +keenly, "your lady friends should know better than to be alone in that +part of Oxford Street. Well, Romsey, are you going to pay for the drinks +out of your seven shillings, or am I? Then I'm going to put Jimmy up for +the club, and you can second him."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IX" id="CHAPTER_IX"></a>CHAPTER IX</h2> + +<p>That day Jimmy did not go back to his lodgings. Instead, he sent a wire +to Mrs. Benn, and went to dine and spend the night with the Kellys, +although he did not get away from the club until he had been introduced +to a score of journalists to whom his host described him as an old +colleague. As a result they were an hour late for dinner when they +reached the flat.</p> + +<p>"It doesn't matter; my wife won't mind," Kelly remarked cheerfully as +they went up in the lift, and, a few moments later, when he met Mrs. +Kelly Jimmy saw that her husband was speaking the truth.</p> + +<p>Dora Kelly was a pretty, thrifty little woman, with a mass of rather +untidy fair hair. She was still in the tea-gown which, apparently, she +had been wearing all the day, whilst her foot-gear consisted of a pair +of Japanese slippers; and yet the whole effect was charming, possibly +because she was entirely unaffected and obviously happy. The flat +reflected the character of its mistress. It was full of good things, all +in wonderful disarray. Even the drawing-room had an air of having +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</a></span>undergone a strenuous straightening up a month previously, since which +event it had not been touched again.</p> + +<p>"Dinner won't be long, Douglas," Mrs. Kelly said. "But the cook went out +at four o'clock and hasn't come in yet; I'm afraid she must have got +drunk again; so I borrowed the Harmers' servant," she turned to Jimmy. +"Servants are such a nuisance, Mr. Grierson, yet one daren't discharge +them, and our cook is a treasure when she's sober. Douglas says you live +in lodgings in some suburb, so you don't have those worries, I suppose. +Here it's dreadful." She shook her head dolefully; but a moment later +she was smiling again and chattering gaily about her own experiences in +lodgings. She had been on the Press herself prior to her marriage, and +she knew, only too well, the ways of the London landlady.</p> + +<p>If he had not chanced to saunter up Oxford Street that afternoon Jimmy +would have enjoyed immensely his dinner and the long talk which followed +it. He had been craving for the society of his own kind; yet now he had +got it it did not seem such a very great thing after all; for Lalage +Penrose had come into his life, and the thought of her was uppermost in +his mind. Even whilst he was talking over old times with Kelly, or +listening to Dora Kelly's laughing descriptions of the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</a></span>struggles of +their early married life, he was wondering how Lalage was spending the +evening, and the thought was making him sick at heart. Mentally, he +cursed himself for a fool, and tried hard to put the memory away from +him; but it was an effort all the time; and when Kelly finally allowed +him to go to bed, long after midnight, he shut his door with a sigh of +relief. But he did not undress. Instead, he sat in a big armchair, +staring into the fire, which, having been lighted by the borrowed +servant just before she left, a full three hours previously, had now +died down to a red glow.</p> + +<p>He was a fool, and he knew it. The stronger part of his nature, that +which came of the alien streak in his father, warned him of the danger +of thinking seriously of chance female acquaintances, told him that no +man of the world ever did so; whilst to the Grierson strain in him +anything in the way of an intrigue was an unpardonable offence against +the canons of respectability. Douglas Kelly, the Bohemian, and Walter +Grierson, the city man, would both have called him mad, agreeing on this +point, if on none other; for they would argue that only a madman could +feel that he had any regard for a strange girl, who, by her own showing, +was without the pale. Suddenly he resolved to have no more to do with +Lalage. He would destroy her address, avoid those parts of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</a></span> the town +where he might possibly see her, drop the acquaintance before it went +any further.</p> + +<p>He got up suddenly, took the slip of paper Lalage had given him out of +his pocket, and stood staring at words on it. It was well-written, in +the hand of an educated girl; but there was a shakiness in it which +suddenly destroyed all his wise resolutions, making an irresistible +appeal to his chivalry. After all, he himself, if not actually an +outcast, was one of life's failures. He had touched bed-rock, more than +once, and he knew too much of the bitterness of life to judge either man +or woman harshly. It is only those who have never suffered who show no +mercy to others.</p> + +<p>What was it that American girl had said to him in Iquique, when she +insisted on lending him one hundred dollars, the time he was absolutely +penniless and too weak from fever to refuse? "The best thanks you can +give me, Jimmy, will be to help another girl if you ever get the +chance." He had returned the money a couple of months later, and he had +neither seen nor heard of her again; but the memory of her words had +remained, and now he seized on them as an excuse for the course he +wanted to follow. And so the slip of paper went back into his +pocket-book, tucked in carefully, though he knew every word that was on +it; and he sat down again, and remained, thinking and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span>wondering, until +the fire had ceased to show even a spark of red, and the chill of the +room sent him shivering to bed, to dream of Lalage.</p> + +<p>Jimmy came out of his room at nine o'clock next morning to find Mrs. +Kelly sweeping the dining-room. "The cook has not come back yet," she +remarked cheerfully. "I do hope the police haven't taken her, for she is +really a treasure when she's sober. And I can't very well borrow the +Harmers' servant again. So breakfast will be late; but you said last +night you weren't in a hurry, and Douglas isn't either. Won't you have a +whisky and soda, Mr. Grierson, whilst you're waiting. The decanter is on +the sideboard, or it should be—oh, no, I remember, Douglas has got it +in the dressing-room. I'll fetch it."</p> + +<p>Breakfast was finally over about eleven o'clock. "We're not usually so +late, though it's always a movable feast," Mrs. Kelly explained, and +then Douglas prepared to go down to the office.</p> + +<p>"They can always call me on the telephone if they want me specially," he +remarked, "and showing my independence is part of my scheme. I don't +think you'll ever be able to bluff, Jimmy. It isn't in you. At the back +of your mind, really, you're staid and respectable, with a reverence for +those set in authority over you, even for those who'll set<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</a></span> themselves +there. So you'll have to trust to the merit of your work alone, and it's +a slow job getting recognition that way. What do you say, Dora?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Kelly smiled, and then suddenly her face grew grave, almost sad. +"Yes, it is a slow job sometimes," she said, softly. "Only Mr. +Grierson's old enough not to go under whilst he's waiting, and, of +course, he has the knowledge. It's those raw boys from the provinces I +pity." She shook her head as if at some memory, then followed her +husband to the front door. "Come again, Mr. Grierson, won't you," she +said as she shook hands. "Of course, you'll see Douglas often at the +club, and if he gives me longer warning I'll make sure the cook doesn't +get out. Douglas, dear, you might ask them at the police station if +they've got her. I've got a kind of creepy feeling which tells me that +they have, and, you know, the magistrate said he wouldn't fine her next time."</p> + +<p>"You're lucky," Jimmy said abruptly, as they came down the steps of the +mansions into the street.</p> + +<p>Kelly looked up with a grin. "Do you mean in having our cook?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy disregarded the question, and went on,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</a></span> "Were you lonely when you +first came home, before you married? Did you have to go through it, or +had you people of your own?"</p> + +<p>He did not put it clearly, but the other showed he understood when he +answered, "My people are all in the North, and they're Nonconformists +and teetotallers. I went up once, and the governor and I quarrelled. I +haven't seen them since. Dora's never seen them. We were married six +months after I came home, on nothing. I wouldn't have risked it, but she +insisted for my sake. I was at the old game, you know."</p> + +<p>Jimmy nodded. He understood, remembering vividly certain wild drinking +bouts which, incidentally, had given him some practical experience in +newspaper work, for on more than one occasion he had taken Kelly's +place, and brought out the little sheet.</p> + +<p>They walked on a little way in silence, then, "Women are a confounded +sight better than we are," Kelly jerked out. "They see so much further. +We reckon we are being unselfish when we're only cowards; but they're +ready to back their own opinion and run the risk; and when they win they +let us take the credit."</p> + +<p>"Some of them do, the right sort. But there are others——" Jimmy was +thinking of the girls to whom Ethel Grimmer had introduced him,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</a></span> those +whose parents had trained them in a due appreciation of the value of men of position.</p> + +<p>Kelly stopped suddenly and looked at him anxiously. "James Grierson," he +said, "I shall put you in a book some day when you're developed. At +present you're about twenty-one years old in many respects. Probably +you'll marry stodgily, or else you'll go to the other extreme and make +an even bigger ass of yourself."</p> + +<p>Jimmy flushed uncomfortably, remembering Lalage; then went hot at the +thought of his own folly. He had only spoken to the girl once.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_X" id="CHAPTER_X"></a>CHAPTER X</h2> + +<p>Lalage Penrose's flat was on the second floor of a small block of flats +in a narrow and grimy street. Opposite the main entrance was a fried +fish shop, and next door to that a coal and greengrocery stores, with +the latest price per hundredweight of what were untruthfully called the +"Best Household Coals" displayed in huge numerals on each of the +windows. Unwashed children from the uncleanly houses which made up the +rest of the street seemed to spend the whole day, and half the night, +dancing to barrel organs. Garbage and paper littered the roadway, except +where there was sufficient slimy black mud to cover these; but, on the +other hand, there was a large and gaudy public house at the corner, +opposite a similar block of flats, and a cab rank just down the side turning.</p> + +<p>Lalage's flat consisted of three very small rooms, for which she paid +fifty pounds a year. "Inclusive of rates," the agent had said; but, as +the landlord himself was on the Borough Council, his assessment was, of +course, not unduly high. By trade, the owner was a butcher in Maida +Vale,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</a></span> though his friends in Tooting did not know that; moreover, +besides being a councillor, he was a German by extraction; consequently, +with these two qualifications, it was quite natural that he should own +flats of that kind. In Capetown, where men are crude or brutal in their +ways, a judge and jury between them would probably have assessed his +merits at fifty lashes and two years' hard labour; in London, on the +other hand, not only was his person sacred and his property safe from +police raids, but he also had reasonable grounds for expecting to be +mayor in due course—which often meant a knighthood—whilst even the +greatest prize of all, the chairmanship of the new Electricity +Committee, a body having the giving of six-figure contracts, was not +beyond his grasp. He was quite a personage in the municipal life of West +London, as well as in the social life of Tooting, and, being a married +man with a family, he treated his tenants with righteous severity, +distraining on the slightest excuse when he suspected they possessed +anything of value, knowing well that his victims would not dare seek redress in the Courts.</p> + +<p>It was four o'clock exactly when Jimmy knocked at the door of the flat, +which was opened by Lalage herself. "I've no servant," she explained, +"only a woman who comes in once or twice a week."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</a></span> Then she led the way +into the tiny slip of a sitting-room, where she had tea laid out. "I'm +glad you've come," she added, "I was half afraid you wouldn't."</p> + +<p>"Why?" he asked with a smile.</p> + +<p>She looked at him seriously, her head a little on one side, as though +she were trying to read his character. "You seemed shy, different from +most men. Are you an Englishman?"</p> + +<p>He nodded, and gave her a brief sketch of who he was. She listened with +evident interest. "It must be splendid to travel and see things. I have +always longed to, at least I did once, but now——" She broke off with a +hopeless little sigh, and got up abruptly. "I'll fetch the tea now."</p> + +<p>The tea things, like everything else in the place, were of the simplest, +cheapest kind, yet as tasteful as was possible considering their price; +but, on the other hand, the tea itself was good, and there was a plate +of daintily-cut bread and butter and another of sandwiches.</p> + +<p>"I was so glad of that tea yesterday." Lalage looked up suddenly. "I +hadn't had anything since some bread and milk at breakfast time, and +that horrible black man made me feel quite shaky."</p> + +<p>Jimmy frowned. "Why do you starve yourself in that way?" he asked.</p> + +<p>In after years, he often thought of this question<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</a></span> and her answer. He +had been hungry himself more than once, and he knew, only too well, what +it meant; but, somehow, he had never pictured a well-dressed girl as +suffering that way.</p> + +<p>"I only had a penny left, the one I spent on that bun, and no one will +trust you with as much as a loaf round here. I was afraid you would +notice how greedy I was at tea." Then, as he flushed awkwardly and began +to speak, she stopped him with a little gesture. "Why should you have +thought of it? You were very good, as it was. And I'm all right now. I +got a postal order last night," she added rather hurriedly; then she +changed the subject abruptly, and went on to talk of one or two matters +of passing interest, which the papers had been booming for want of +anything of real importance. She had evidently received an average +education, Jimmy could see that plainly, and yet he was puzzled, for in +many of her ideas, and especially in her strong prejudices, she belied +her apparent age; for they were those of a child of fourteen, rather +than of a girl of some two or three and twenty. Insensibly, he found +himself listening to her as one would to a child, and then, a moment +later, she would bring out some cynical scrap of wisdom, evidently the +fruit of bitter experience, which sounded strange coming from her lips. +Yet, despite the utter <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span>unconventionality, there was no hint of fastness +about her, and even when she touched by implication on her way of life, +she did so with a kind of frank simplicity, hiding nothing and trying to excuse nothing.</p> + +<p>"What do you think of my little flat?" she asked suddenly, after what +had been rather a long pause. "It's very tiny, of course; but it's a +home, and when you've had nowhere to go to, not even a lodging——" She +broke off, and stared into the fire. "It's simply awful to have +nowhere," she went on after a while. "To walk about hour after hour with +the mud squelching through your shoes, and nothing to eat; and getting +more hopeless as midnight comes on. I was out two whole nights."</p> + +<p>Jimmy breathed heavily; he had often heard the same sort of thing from +men; but it sounded very different coming from the lips of a girl.</p> + +<p>"And then one day I got ten pounds," Lalage continued, "and I made up my +mind I would have a home. I paid a month's rent in advance—they don't +worry over references if you do that—and I went to some hire-purchase +people for furniture. Then I bought a kettle at the sixpenny halfpenny +shop, and a cup and saucer and plate in the next street, where the +barrows are. By the time I had got curtains and some sheets and one or +two odd things like a lamp, there were only a few shillings<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</a></span> left." She +looked up seriously. "You wouldn't think till you try how expensive +furnishing is; but I was so proud of my little home. I am still; and you +know, when you've a place of your own, if you only have bread and milk +no one is any the wiser. I've often been hard up since, but I've always +managed to scrape up the rent and the hire-purchase instalment. One must +do that; they don't give you a day's grace."</p> + +<p>Jimmy was chewing savagely at the ends of his moustache. It never +entered into his head that she was trying to play upon his sympathies. +There was some curious quality of simplicity in her manner which forbade +that supposition. She interested him as no woman had ever interested him +before, and, suddenly, he was filled with a desire to know her past, +and, in that, to find excuses for the present.</p> + +<p>"Where do you come from?" he asked.</p> + +<p>"Hampshire," she answered, adding, "My people are dead. I'm quite alone +in the world." Then, as if to change the subject, she got up from her +seat. "You must have a look round my tiny place."</p> + +<p>Jimmy felt almost guilty as he noted her obvious pride in the few little +articles she had collected together. May's cook would have rejected with +scorn the kettle from the sixpenny halfpenny<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</a></span> bazaar, and the one or two +pots and pans which had since been bought at the same shop; whilst none +of the Marlow servants would have deigned to use the thick earthenware +plates on the dresser. Yet everywhere there was a perfect cleanliness, +which, possibly, those same servants would never have succeeded in +attaining in the smoke-laden atmosphere of that street.</p> + +<p>"I do hate dirt and untidiness," Lalage explained when he made a remark +on the subject. "I do everything myself, except the scrubbing; and I +wouldn't have a woman in for that if it wasn't for my hands; I want to +keep them nice."</p> + +<p>She held them out for Jimmy to inspect, with the first touch of vanity +he had seen in her. Perhaps, her pride was justifiable, for they were +well worth looking at, being small and perfectly shaped. She wore no +rings, nor, for the matter of that, any jewellery at all, whilst her +dress was of the simplest.</p> + +<p>When they went back to the sitting-room he asked her the time. "I never +carry a watch," he said. "Mine went the way of a good many other things +when I was first knocked out with fever, and I've never managed to +afford another one."</p> + +<p>Lalage nodded with sympathetic comprehension. "I know; but it's worst +when you've nothing left to pawn. As for clothes, they give you nothing +on them, at least round here. But you want to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</a></span> know the time." She +opened the window and listened a moment. "It's just on six. I can hear +the periwinkle man coming, and he's never late. This is the last part of +his round, you see, because he doesn't expect to sell much here; then he +goes to a stall for the evening. I know them all, and I think they like +me, because I chat to them. But the people in the other flats," she +shook her head with an air of disgust, "most of them are dreadful; a lot +of horrid foreigners, you know. Still, the caretaker sees they don't +fight on the stairs, and when I shut my door, I feel I shut them all out."</p> + +<p>Jimmy smiled a little grimly; he could picture those other tenants and +their ways. Then, "Will you put your hat on, and we'll go out and get some dinner?"</p> + +<p>She reflected a moment. "Why not get something and bring it in here? It +won't cost nearly so much, though it will be much nicer. Oh, in six +months I've got simply to loathe the smell of a café. There's a nice ham +and beef shop where we can get everything we want." She laughed rather +ruefully. "I remember yesterday when I was so hungry looking in there +and wishing I could get a roast chicken they had, all beautiful and +brown, you know, with jelly on it. But they wouldn't have trusted me +with even a quarter of a pound of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</a></span> beef. I suppose they've been robbed +so often. Well, I'll put on my hat, and we'll get what we want. Really, +honestly, I would much sooner have it like that than go to one of the +best restaurants. Don't you yourself think cafés are hateful?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy watched her marketing with a distinct sense of admiration. She +knew the local price of everything, and she insisted on having exactly +what she ordered.</p> + +<p>"I don't see why they should rob you," she said. "They make huge profits +anyway. Now, I think that's all we want." She ticked the articles off on +her fingers. "Oh, unless you care for something to drink.... Yes, I like +a whisky and soda with my meals; but don't get a whole bottle, it's only +a waste; and they will sell it you by the quartern in that public house. +I'll wait whilst you go in. But don't buy a bottle; I know you haven't +got any money to throw away?" she added.</p> + +<p>When he came out, she noted, with evident satisfaction, that he had +obeyed her. "This will make a lovely supper," she declared, and her +smile showed she meant it. "I like shopping like this. It's always nicer +than a café, and much less expensive."</p> + +<p>Her last remark reminded him of what she had said just as he was going +in for the whisky.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</a></span></p><p>"Why do you think I haven't got any money to throw away?" he asked.</p> + +<p>She gave a wise little nod. "You tell me you write, and I know literary +men never have anything to spare."</p> + +<p>Jimmy laughed. "How do you know?"</p> + +<p>Lalage turned away. "Never mind, but I do know, only too well."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XI" id="CHAPTER_XI"></a>CHAPTER XI</h2> + +<p>"I have not heard from you for several days," Mrs. Marlow wrote to +Jimmy, "though I have had a couple of letters from Eliza Benn, who says +that for two consecutive nights you did not come home. The first night +you wired to her, but the second time she sat up until after midnight, +fearing lest it might not be safe to let you have a light. I need not +say how annoying it is to hear these things from one's former servants. +Both Henry and I trust that you are not already getting into dissipated +ways, and that you will remember that you belong to a respectable +family, which will have to bear a large share of any disgrace into which +you may fall, or be led." Then there was a postscript. "Eliza Benn is a +person for whom I have a great regard; and I hear that her husband holds +quite an excellent situation in Mr. Grimmer's salesrooms, where he is +paid thirty-five shillings a week, which, Henry says, would only be +given to a most experienced and steady man."</p> + +<p>Jimmy tore the letter across savagely and tossed it into the fire. It +annoyed him the more because his sister had got within measurable +distance of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</a></span> the truth, at least from her point of view. He had already +had some uncomfortable moments over the thought of what the family would +say if it ever came to know of Lalage. He had not seen the latter again, +but, though it was less than forty-eight hours since they had parted, he +had written to her twice, and he could not disguise from himself the +fact that she filled his life to the exclusion of all else. No other +woman had ever appealed to him in the same way. Lalage had gripped his +imagination. He could remember every word she had said, and, having been +on the rocks himself, he could understand what she had suffered—the +rain squelching through the thin little shoes, the bitter loneliness of +the great city, the meals of bread and milk which had to last the whole +day, the passionate longing for a home of some sort. He did not attempt +to argue the thing out logically, as a Grierson would have done. The +thought of her way of life inspired him, not with the scorn or loathing +a man of position would have felt, even when taking advantage of it, but +with a terrible, gnawing jealousy. Probably, he would not have admitted, +even to himself, that he was in love, for, somehow, the phrase seemed +hopelessly inapplicable. It belonged to the Grierson part of his nature, +and was supposed to signify a preliminary to marriage, an altogether +decorous<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</a></span> kind of affection for a decorously-behaved girl, who had never +been homeless or hungry or cold. All he cared for now was to get Lalage +away, to be with her always, and, for the moment at least, anything +which did not help towards that end seemed of absolutely no importance. +He had thrust family considerations on one side, thrust on one side all +those good resolutions, or rather those revived instincts of the past, +which had been uppermost in his mind when he first came home. His own +world, the Griersons and Marlows and Grimmers, would have called him +either mad or hopelessly immoral, according to the degree of charity +latent in their respective natures; Kelly would have warned him bluntly +not to endanger his prospects by being a fool; a mental specialist would +have explained that the shock of John Locke's death, coming on top of +the ten years of almost continual overstrain in bad climates, had +temporarily affected his balance, an opinion with which Lalage herself +would have agreed, knowing, after all, nothing of men's love; but +neither opinions nor diagnosis would have altered Jimmy's determination.</p> + +<p>He had put in two days of almost savagely hard work. Without money he +would be helpless. True, most of his manuscripts had come back; but +still three had actually appeared in print, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</a></span> he could feel he had +made a start. The old semi-indifference on the question of his ultimate +success or failure had vanished completely. He was in deadly earnest +now; Lalage should have no more bread-and-milk days, if he could help it.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Marlow's letter had arrived by the first delivery, in the cheerful +company of a returned manuscript. He had heard from Lalage, her first +letter to him, the evening before, and he did not expect another till +that night; but when the second postman knocked at the door, and, a +moment later, Mrs. Benn came creaking upstairs, he hurried to meet her, +hoping the envelope might bear the West London postmark. But he was +doomed to disappointment. The letter was from Ida, his sister in +Northampton. "When I heard from you last week you said any day this week +would do," Ida Fenton wrote. "We find we shall be able to have you +to-morrow, and hope you will stay four or five days. The best train is +one at 2:15, and I will meet you by that, so you need not worry about +answering this note. We are all looking forward to seeing you, and +though, of course Joseph is at business all day, and the children at +school, I daresay you will find the rest do you good."</p> + +<p>Jimmy frowned as he folded it up and put it back into the envelope. He +had arranged to spend the next day with Lalage; they were going to have +a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</a></span> run out somewhere—"somewhere inexpensive, like the Crystal Palace," +Lalage had said in her letter—and then they were going to have another +of those delightful marketing expeditions in the grimy street where the +barrows were. Now, all that would have to be postponed. Jimmy would not +have scrupled greatly about disappointing Ida—she had been in no hurry +to see him—but May's letter had shown him how he was being watched and +his doings reported, and he did not want to arouse further suspicion. He +intended to move very shortly, though his plans were as yet but half +formed, and, moreover, he shrank from doing anything which would offend +May. He might not be afraid of his relations; but at the back of his +mind he was sufficiently conscious of his own departure from the paths +of rectitude to feel the weakness of his position.</p> + +<p>He wrote to Lalage that evening, explaining matters; consequently, she +was not surprised when he came up next morning carrying a handbag. At +first, it struck him that she was looking rather pale and worried, but +she greeted him with frank pleasure, and, in a few minutes, she was her +usual self again. As Jimmy learned later, she had in a peculiar degree +the art of seeing the best side of things. In a sense, she was almost a +fatalist, and though she made no disguise about the regret she<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</a></span> felt for +her ruined life, a moment later she always seemed to put the regrets +aside as useless. "I try to keep as respectable as I can," she said to Jimmy.</p> + +<p>Normal people, being respectable themselves, would probably have +sneered, knowing that those who have fallen are all on the level, and +that only in those far-off days when He who pitied the Magdalen and bade +the sinless cast the first stone trod the earth was there forgiveness +for this greatest of sins. But Jimmy, not being normal, and being +anxious to find excuses for Lalage, did not sneer, and before long he +found that, though she might not be able to rise again, she was +determined to fall no lower. She was almost fastidious in her hatred of +bad language, and there was, as a matter of fact, an immeasurable +distance between her and the German women who formed the majority of the other tenants.</p> + +<p>"Of course I am sorry to have to go away," Lalage said in answer to +Jimmy's complaints of having to go to Northampton. "But still, it's only +right. Your own people ought to come first, and I shall see you when you +get back, if you haven't forgotten me."</p> + +<p>Jimmy took both her hands in his. "I shall never forget you, Lalage, never."</p> + +<p>She shook her head. "Others have said the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</a></span> same, and have forgotten, +none the less. I'm afraid to hope too much sometimes, for fear of +disappointment. It's easier when you haven't expected anything." She +freed her hands and went across to the window, where she stood, +apparently staring at the gigantic telephone post on the roof opposite.</p> + +<p>Jimmy came up behind her. "Would you be sorry if I were to forget?" he asked.</p> + +<p>She answered without looking round, "Of course I should."</p> + +<p>"Why would you be sorry?" he went on.</p> + +<p>"Because I like you very much. You are always gentlemanly and nice in +your ways." Still she did not face him.</p> + +<p>"Do you like anyone else, anyone at all?" Jimmy's voice was not very steady.</p> + +<p>"No, no." Now she turned her head, and he saw that her eyes were wet. +"There's no one I like. I don't know why I've told you things, only, +somehow, you seemed to understand how hard life is; and you don't treat +me——" she paused as though looking for a word, "you don't treat me +lightly. You're careful to raise your hat and open the door for me, and +all those little things, just as though I were," her voice broke +slightly, "a good girl."</p> + +<p>Jimmy coloured, and muttered something which<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</a></span> Lalage did not catch, +then, suddenly, she gave a little gasp of annoyance. "Jimmy, you left +your bag in the hall, and it's got your name on it. The charwoman was +cleaning the kitchen and now she's out in the hall. Do get it at once."</p> + +<p>He obeyed her with obvious surprise, then looked at her inquiringly. +"Blackmail," she answered simply. "All these women round here do it if +they get a chance, and they say the landlord puts them up to it. +Everyone about here preys on us, in one way or another. The district +lives on us, tradesmen, landlords, agents, even the gas and electric +light people; and when they've bled us dry they seize our homes and turn +us out. They know we can't go to law, and yet whilst they're robbing us +they're sitting as guardians or councillors and going to chapel every +Sunday. They treat us like dirt, and their wives and daughters shake +their skirts at us, and all the time it's we who earn the money for them."</p> + +<p>Jimmy went over to the mantelpiece, and buried his head on his hands. He +was wholly unconscious of what he was doing, being too miserable to +think of appearances. Lalage watched him a moment, then put her arm +gently round his neck, and, for the first time, kissed him of her own accord.</p> + +<p>"What is it, dear, tell me," she said.</p> + +<p>"I can't stand it. The whole thing's horrible,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</a></span> abominable." It was the +man's voice which was broken now.</p> + +<p>"You can't help it, Jimmy dear," she answered sadly. "It's too late now. +There's no road back in these things. It's my own fault, and I must pay for it."</p> + +<p>"There must be a way out," he answered fiercely. "I will find it when I +can get this wretched visit over. You can't go on like this."</p> + +<p>She tried to soothe him down, almost as a mother soothes a child. "All +right, dear, you shall find it when you come back. We'll see what can be done."</p> + +<p>Lalage went down to the station to see him off. They arrived in plenty +of time, and when he had taken his ticket they went into the refreshment +booth for some sandwiches. They sat down, and for a minute or two, +neither said anything. Then, suddenly, Jimmy turned to her.</p> + +<p>"How are you off for money, Lalage?" he asked.</p> + +<p>The girl coloured slightly. "Quite all right, thanks," she answered +after a moment's hesitation. "Really I am, Jimmy, and, anyway, I +wouldn't let you run yourself short."</p> + +<p>But he was not satisfied. "Are you sure? Take some in case of accidents."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</a></span></p><p>She shook her head. "No, there's no need. I shall be able to pull +along."</p> + +<p>He gave in reluctantly. "Well, you've got my address. Let me know if you +do get short, because I should hate to think——" He broke off abruptly, +then went on. "Promise you'll let me know."</p> + +<p>Lalage nodded. "Yes, I promise."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XII" id="CHAPTER_XII"></a>CHAPTER XII</h2> + +<p>Ida Fenton, Jimmy's younger sister, was a tall, fair woman with a +beautiful profile and hazel-blue eyes. Women who did not like her called +her a stick, and even her friends admitted that she was severe. +Stiffness was the dominant note in her character. Most men, including +even her husband, wondered that she had ever married. In pre-Reformation +times she would certainly have been a nun, and probably a saint, being +passionless, and therefore able to avoid all carnal sins without effort. +However, she belonged to an age which regarded marriage as the one +vocation for women, at least for those of position, and she had accepted +Joseph Fenton, if not with enthusiasm, at least with satisfaction. He +appeared to fulfil all the necessary conditions, and she had never found +reason to regret her choice. If Fenton himself sometimes appeared hurt +at the fact that she did not display more outward affection towards him +or the children, she seldom worried over the matter, being fully +conscious of her own rectitude of conduct and feeling.</p> + +<p>Jimmy felt chilled the moment he entered the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</a></span> Fenton house. Ida's own +personality seemed to be reflected in everything, in the furniture, in +the pictures, and above all in the unnaturally tidy children to whom he +was presently introduced. He could still feel the one cold kiss which +Ida had given him, and, when he was shown up to his room, he +unconsciously gave the spot an extra dab with the sponge.</p> + +<p>The weather was bitter, yet there was no fire in the big spare room, Ida +holding that fires in bedrooms were unhealthy and extravagant, +consequently, being still thin blooded as a result of ten years in +tropical climates, he was shivering when he got downstairs again.</p> + +<p>"Can I have a little whisky, Joe?" he said to his brother-in-law, whom +he found in the smoking-room. "I've got a bit of a chill on me, and it +takes very little to bring out my malaria."</p> + +<p>Ida, who had just entered, frowned slightly. "Ammoniated quinine would +do you more good, Jimmy. Joseph himself never drinks between meals. It's +such a bad example if the children happen to come in."</p> + +<p>Jimmy stifled a retort to the effect that the obvious course was to keep +the children out; but he refused the proffered quinine and helped +himself to some of the whisky which his brother-in-law had already produced.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</a></span></p><p>Ida sighed and went out, whereupon Fenton lost no time in making use of +the second glass which was on the tray.</p> + +<p>"Ida likes giving people ammoniated quinine," he remarked.</p> + +<p>Jimmy nodded sympathetically, knowing his sister of old. She had managed +their father's household during the period between their mother's death +and her own marriage, and he still had lively recollections of her régime.</p> + +<p>Dinner was a dreary meal. Fenton, who was essentially a cheerful person, +made several spasmodic attempts at conversation, but Ida, cold and +beautiful, seemed to check him by her own silence; whilst Jimmy was +thinking of Lalage, contrasting the luxury of his present surroundings, +the massive plate, the costly dinner service, the deferential, +silently-moving butler, with Lalage's little room, and its hire-purchase +furniture, earthenware plates, and the meal bought at the ham and beef +shop. Now, he was amongst his own people, a Grierson come back to the +Griersons; and yet he hated it all, because he had reached the point of +wanting to share everything with Lalage, whom he could never hope to +introduce into houses like the Fentons'.</p> + +<p>The long meal came to an end at last, and they went into the +smoking-room, where Ida joined<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</a></span> them. Mrs. Fenton had asked no questions +at dinner, when the servants were present, but Jimmy quickly found that +there were many things she wanted to know, not about the past, but about +his doings since he had come home, and about his plans for the future. +In a flash, he understood that May must have arranged this sudden +invitation to Northampton, and he was on his guard at once. Inwardly, he +was furious and a little uneasy, foreseeing the possibility of future +trouble; but he kept both his temper and his composure, and in the end +he lulled Ida's suspicions. When she had gone, Fenton himself breathed a +sigh, which sounded curiously like one of relief, and, pulling out a +couple of big volumes in the bottom shelf of the bookcase, produced a +bottle of whisky of a brand greatly superior to that which stood on the tray.</p> + +<p>"She doesn't like to see it go too fast." He motioned towards the other bottle.</p> + +<p>Jimmy nodded sympathetically, understanding; then helped himself.</p> + +<p>"They're afraid of you going the pace." Joseph Fenton jerked the words +out, looking away almost guiltily.</p> + +<p>Once more Jimmy nodded. He liked this brother-in-law, always had liked +him, knowing him to be a man, and, for a moment, he felt inclined to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</a></span> +tell him of Lalage; but, before he could make up his mind, Joseph went on:</p> + +<p>"They don't understand, Jimmy—Ida and May and my own sisters too. Yet, +hang it all, in a way I suppose they're right, because of the kids, you +know." He tossed his cigar into the grate and lighted another, rather +carefully. "You fellows who have knocked about, you get ideas and +ways——. But, they won't do here, Jimmy, believe me." He paused again, +to help himself to another whisky, then went on, hurriedly, "This work +of yours, it's a bit uphill. Are you all right for cash? If not come to me."</p> + +<p>Jimmy flushed. He wanted some money badly, how badly only a man in his +position, the lover of Lalage, could know; but still he could not take +it from Fenton, for that purpose. Joseph would never understand his +motives. So he stood up, suddenly.</p> + +<p>"Thanks, very much, Joe; but I can rub along, at least I think so. If I +am dead stuck, I will come to you; but I believe I can pull through." +Then he said good night, and went upstairs, to think of Lalage, and to +curse his own idiocy in not taking the proffered loan. Twenty pounds +would have been nothing to his brother-in-law, yet to Lalage and himself +it would have meant a new start. Before he lay down he had made up his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</a></span> +mind to ask Joseph for it, after all, and he went to sleep with that +resolution in his mind; but when he awoke in the morning things somehow +seemed different, and before breakfast was over he had changed his mind. +This was his world, and these were his own people, living ordered lives, +with soles and grilled kidneys for breakfast, and family plate on the +table, knowing nothing of ham and beef shops, or of milkmen who demanded +cash in exchange for their milk. He belonged to them, he was one of +them, sharing their principles and their prejudices, worshipping their +gods, as his ancestors and theirs had done. What real kinship had he +with Lalage, who made her breakfast tea out of a quarter-pound packet +bought the evening before at the little general shop round the corner, +and took an obvious delight in the sixpenny haddock they had purchased +off the barrow with the glaring oil lamps over it?</p> + +<p>And yet, when the postman brought him no letter from that same Lalage, +he grew silent and restless, as his sister's eyes were quick to note. +When Joseph had departed to his office, he himself went to the +smoking-room and wrote three whole sheets to the girl who lived in the +flat, for the first time throwing all prudence to the winds, and saying +the things he felt. His pen travelled quickly, and, whilst he was +writing, he forgot all about his <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</a></span>surroundings, his mind being full of +Lalage. When, at last, he had finished and signed his name, in full, as +a sign of his trust in her, disdaining any subterfuge, he looked round +the luxuriously furnished room, and for an instant he was filled with a +sense of his own folly; then, hurriedly, as though ashamed of what he +was doing, he thrust the letter into an envelope and sealed it down, +afterwards posting it with his own hands.</p> + +<p>The hours dragged by slowly. The Marlow house had seemed dull; but the +Fentons' was almost unbearable. Ida meant to be kind; but, perhaps, +because she tried to show her intention, she only succeeded in making +Jimmy feel his position as a poor relation. She took him for a drive in +the afternoon to call on one or two elderly ladies in reduced +circumstances, whom she patronised unconsciously, greatly to the +discomfort of her brother, who had a kind of fellow feeling for her +victims. Yet, on the other hand, he was conscious of a grim admiration +for Ida; she was so sure of her own rectitude, so convinced that her +husband's wealth—which meant her own position—entitled her to lecture +and to interfere. It was all interesting, even amusing, or it would have +been so, had Lalage never come into his life, in which case he could +have regarded Mrs. Fenton from a more or less impersonal point of view. +Now, however,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</a></span> she was a possible danger, to be guarded against, +and—though he did not like to put it that way—to be lied to, if occasion demanded.</p> + +<p>That night, Jimmy hardly closed his eyes, being occupied with the +problem of inventing an excuse for getting back to town. The evening +post had brought him no letters; and, though it was improbable that +Lalage would have any real news for him, he was terribly worried at her +silence. Lying then through the long hours, praying for the sleep which +would not come to ease him from the hideous pain of jealousy, he +suffered as few men can suffer in their lives. He had no right to +control Lalage, no more claim on her than anyone else had, he was mad to +trouble about her, knowing what he did of her, and having ten years' +experience of women behind him. Yet he lay there, wide-eyed, wondering, +and tormenting himself. Twice he got up and endeavoured to smoke a +cigarette, but all to no purpose. The tobacco tasted rank, and, after a +few whiffs, he let the thing go out. When, towards morning, he did fall +into a heavy sleep, it was only to dream of Lalage, with the mud and +rain squelching through her shoes, looking for someone to give her shelter.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIII" id="CHAPTER_XIII"></a>CHAPTER XIII</h2> + +<p>If Ida felt any relief when, at the end of four miserably long days, +Jimmy returned to town, she did not say so, even to her husband. It had +been a trial in many ways, but, at the same time, she was conscious of +having done her duty. She had impressed her brother with a sense of what +he owed to the family in the matter of conduct, and his very depression +seemed to show that he had taken the matter to heart.</p> + +<p>"Jimmy's nerves are all wrong. He's like a man on wires. He wants a +comfortable home and a wife to look after him," Fenton ventured to +remark whilst his brother-in-law was upstairs, packing; but Ida brushed +the theory aside scornfully.</p> + +<p>"I am surprised at you, Joseph. It is not at all the way to speak of +marriage. The Griersons have always waited until they were in a position +to marry, and have never held those disgusting ideas of nerves and so +on. Jimmy most emphatically cannot think of marrying for many years to +come. He is perfectly well, or he would be if he did not smoke and drink +so much. He has the remedy in his own hands."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</a></span></p><p>Fenton shrugged his shoulders and turned away, wondering inwardly +whether the Grierson strain would predominate in his own children. He +almost wished Jimmy had not come down. It was annoying to be disturbed +and made to think after having got out of the habit of so doing.</p> + +<p>The men and women of the type Ida usually invited to the house never +worried him in that way, belonging as they did to the class which can +afford to take its theories as facts.</p> + +<p>Jimmy had heard once from Lalage, a brief little note, just +acknowledging his letters, and telling him nothing. Mrs. Fenton had +watched carefully whilst he was reading it—she had detected a woman's +handwriting—but he had managed to keep his composure, and then, the +better to deceive her, he had rolled the paper into a ball and tossed it +on to the fire, though it cut him to the heart to part with anything +which had once been Lalage's.</p> + +<p>He had hoped the girl would have been waiting for him at the station; +but he failed to see her tall figure on the platform, so, jumping into a +cab, he told the driver to take him to the mansions. However, as they +went up the last street, he caught sight of Lalage coming out of a +hairdresser's shop. A moment later he was beside her.</p> + +<p>Jimmy's first impression was one of delight at<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</a></span> the look of genuine +pleasure which, had come into her eyes; then he noted with concern how +worn and pale she looked.</p> + +<p>"I didn't expect you quite so soon," she said. "I must have made a +mistake in the time, and I wanted to get my hair done nicely before you got back."</p> + +<p>"What has been the matter with you? Why didn't you write, dear?" he asked.</p> + +<p>She parried the questions until they got inside the flat, when he +repeated them, holding her hands, and looking into her eyes. She tried +to avoid his scrutiny.</p> + +<p>"I've been all right," she answered, "only there was nothing to write about."</p> + +<p>But he would not be put off like that, and at last, with a sob, she told +him. "It's over now, and I didn't mean you to know. I—I've had the +brokers in." She was speaking hurriedly, in a low voice. "You see, +someone has been paying my rent, and I expected it the day you went +away—it should have come that morning—and it was due next day. I never +heard, and I only had a few shillings, so they put the brokers in at +once. These landlords always do."</p> + +<p>Jimmy cursed silently. "Why didn't you wire to me? You know I would have +sent it at once."</p> + +<p>She shook her head. "No, no. I hate taking money from you, above everyone."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</a></span></p><p>"What did you do in the end?"</p> + +<p>She looked up and faced him, with a kind of desperate courage. "I got it +by going away for two days. It's no good disguising things, trying to +make out that I don't."</p> + +<p>It was a question which was the paler, the man or the woman. It had come +home to him, as it had never done before. He dropped her hands and went +over to the window, where he stood very still, staring out with +absolutely unseeing eyes; whilst she watched him with a deadly pain at +her heart, thinking she had killed the love which she knew had grown up in him.</p> + +<p>"Perhaps it's best, after all, perhaps it's best." She tried desperately +hard to say the words to herself, then, almost unconsciously, she took a +step towards him. Possibly her action altered the whole course of two +lives, for, like a flash, he turned round, seized her in his arms, and +covered her face with kisses.</p> + +<p>"I don't care, now I've come back, because it'll never happen again, it +can't happen again, and what went before has nothing to do with me. +We'll start afresh, dearest, we'll start afresh." He repeated the words +several times, savagely, as though wishing to assure himself that it would be so.</p> + +<p>Lalage was crying on his shoulder, sobbing quietly without noise or +movement, as overwrought<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</a></span> women do; but it was soon over, and she pulled +herself together bravely.</p> + +<p>"I think you're very tired and we had better have some tea now," she +said, smiling at him with wet eyes. He kissed away her tears, then +released her, and sat down whilst she hurried into the kitchen to prepare the tray.</p> + +<p>It was very much later, in fact not until after they had finished the +supper, which she insisted should come from the next street—"Because it +was so nice last time," she explained—that he went back to the subject +of their future. He was so desperately in earnest that he succeeded in +blinding himself to the financial difficulties ahead; and, though +perhaps he did not convince either Lalage or himself, they were both in +the mood to risk things.</p> + +<p>"I'll give up my rooms at Mrs. Benn's, thankfully, and we can take some +others, somewhere near Fleet Street, until we can get on our feet," he went on.</p> + +<p>But Lalage demurred. "I can't give up this flat, at least not without +losing all I've paid on the furniture, until the end of my agreement, in +six months' time. Why shouldn't we stay on here?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy frowned. He loathed the place and all its associations, but he was +not in a position to give her another home of her own, as yet, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</a></span> he +could not answer her argument, especially when she added:</p> + +<p>"I can tell them at the agent's office that we are married, and we can +give them some name or other."</p> + +<p>She said it simply, without the least intention of hurting him; but the +words cut him like a whip, for though, for one mad moment, he had +thought of marriage, real marriage, he had put the idea on one side as +utterly impossible. He was a Grierson, owing a duty to the family, and +he could not do the thing. Only he had the grace not even to hint of it +to her, and she gave no sign that she had the least expectation of any +promise from him. She had recovered her spirits, and, apparently, was +quite content with the arrangement he proposed. He was fully conscious +that Society would condemn him unsparingly, if it found out, and he +could not justify his own conduct, even to himself; but Lalage never +seemed to consider the moral aspect of the question, that curious +element of irresponsibility, almost childishness, which he had marked at +the very outset, was now more noticeable than ever.</p> + +<p>Suddenly, a new fear gripped him. "It will never do to give my people +this address," he said. "They would make inquiries at once, and +then——" He gave a grim little smile.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</a></span></p><p>Lalage's face grew hard. "Why should they hunt you like that? If they +really cared, they would have looked after you, instead of sending you +to those lodgings. They want you to be like a little boy, to do just +what they say, and never to have a mind of your own—oh, yes, but they +do. They ought to have seen that after all you've been through, you need care and love."</p> + +<p>He looked up with a queer light in his eyes. "Do you love me, Lalage? +You've never said so."</p> + +<p>"I like you very, very much," she answered.</p> + +<p>But he was not satisfied. "Do you love me?" he repeated.</p> + +<p>"I like you better, much better, than anyone else I ever met," and with +that he had to be content.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIV" id="CHAPTER_XIV"></a>CHAPTER XIV</h2> + +<p>"I know someone who will let you a room, just as an address, in case +those horrid sisters of yours make inquiries." Lalage turned round +suddenly from the looking-glass, her hands still busy with her hair.</p> + +<p>"Who is she? Where does she live?" Jimmy asked lazily, being at the +moment more interested in that same hair than in anything else.</p> + +<p>"She lives just the other side of Baker Street, and really she's a kind +of agent, you know." Lalage made a gesture of supreme disgust. "But +she's not so bad as most of them, and, as her husband is a clerk in the +Council office, anyone would tell your people that the house is quite +respectable. Why, it belongs to the mayor himself."</p> + +<p>Jimmy frowned. He loathed the idea of putting himself in the hands of +people of that sort, people who would understand exactly how matters +stood, and judge, not only himself, but Lalage as well, according to +their own standards.</p> + +<p>"I would sooner we had nothing whatever to do with any of them," he said.</p> + +<p>He was touching mud for the first time in his life, real mud, and he did +not like the feeling of it.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</a></span> Moreover, he had suddenly grown very +particular about Lalage. They might not be married, in fact he had +decided that there could be no question of marriage between them; but, +none the less, as long as he was going under another name, he wanted +people to believe they had legalised their union, and to respect Lalage +accordingly. Had he not belonged to a family of position, he might have +seen himself as a coward or a cad; but the Griersons were essentially of +the Victorian age, and so he was able to quiet his conscience with +platitudes; whilst under the seeming calmness with which Lalage had +accepted his proposal, she was too glad of any change from the nightmare +of the past to be very critical. She hoped—that was all, resolutely +refusing to allow herself any fears or misgivings. And, after all, Jimmy +was very young so far as these things were concerned, and Lalage was +even younger; so, probably, they would not have listened to, much less +have believed, anyone who had warned them that they were attempting the +impossible. They were happy at the moment, having put the past behind +them, and they were ready to assume that their happiness would last, +ignoring its dangerous insecure foundations.</p> + +<p>In the end, Lalage had her way, so far as the room was concerned. Mrs. +Fagin, the landlady, scenting money easily earned, was absolutely<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</a></span> +servile. Jimmy stammered a little over his explanations, but Lalage put +things more plainly. "He will seldom be here; in fact I do not think he +will ever actually need the room," she said. "But it will be an address +for his letters, and you will know what to say if there are any +inquiries. What would be your terms?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Fagin looked at Jimmy, as if to get his measure. "I'm sure I don't +know, sir," she began. "We haven't had that same thing before, but——."</p> + +<p>"He will pay three shillings a week," Lalage interrupted, "and begin +next week. That should suit you, Mrs. Fagin. Very well," and she sailed out.</p> + +<p>Jimmy looked at her admiringly. "You do know how to deal with them, Lalage," he remarked.</p> + +<p>She sighed a little wearily. "I've had to learn that, and a good many +other things, since I came to town."</p> + +<p>Down at the apartment house in the dreary suburban street, Mrs. Benn +accepted a week's notice from Jimmy with a sniff of anger.</p> + +<p>"Very well, sir. You know your own business best, though Mrs. Marlow did +say as how you would be permanent. Without that, I shouldn't have gone +out of my way to give you our own<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</a></span> best room, and to wear my health, +which is not too good, out in making you comfortable. But then, Mrs. +Marlow was evidently mistook all round, for she said you would keep +respectable hours and act as such."</p> + +<p>Whereupon Jimmy lost his temper, paid her a week in lieu of notice, and +went straight back to Lalage, who received him with delight. "So you +haven't changed your mind at the last moment, as you would have done if +you had been wise, and good and," she laughed mischievously, "Grierson-like."</p> + +<p>"All I care about is being good to you, sweetheart," he answered. "But +why do you say 'Grierson-like'?"</p> + +<p>She looked at him critically, her head a little on one side. "Because +you're two men—James Grierson, who is stodgy and respectable and ought +to marry what the other Griersons call a good girl, that is one with +money; and Jimmy, who is awfully sweet and unselfish, just the opposite +to James. Just now, you're Jimmy, the nice side of you is uppermost; but +some day it may be the other way about and then you'll run off and leave poor Lalage."</p> + +<p>He flushed, and tried to draw her to him. "Never, never," he declared. +"I shall always stick to you. Who else have I got?"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</a></span></p><p>She shook her head. "You've got your own people, always, ready to have +you, when you'll be one of them; whilst I'm all alone, and only Lalage, +the girl you met by chance in Oxford Street."</p> + +<p>Her words reawakened his curiosity as to her past. Twice before he had +tried to learn her story, but now, as on those occasions, she baffled his questions.</p> + +<p>"I am Lalage Penrose, that's all. I was a fool, and I've paid for my +folly, and there's nothing else worth telling."</p> + +<p>"Still, I should like to hear," he persisted.</p> + +<p>"Well, perhaps you shall some day, if you don't turn into James Grierson +before then. But—but, don't ask me, Jimmy." Her bantering manner +changed suddenly, and with a queer little sob she jumped up and hurried +into the other room.</p> + +<p>Jimmy did not try to follow her. Instead, he lighted a cigarette, and +endeavoured to settle down to work on an article which had been +suggested by a paragraph in that morning's Record. A quarter of an hour +later Lalage came back with a little bundle of his socks in her hand.</p> + +<p>"These want darning," she remarked; then, in the most natural manner, +she sat down in the big wicker chair beside him, and started to ply her needle.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</a></span></p><p>From time to time Jimmy glanced up from his writing. He was breaking +the moral code in which he had been brought up, the code which he knew, +as every sane man does know, is essentially right in principle; he was +risking a rupture with his own people who, certainly, would never +tolerate Lalage; he was face to face with an ugly financial situation, +almost penniless himself and with another dependent on him; and yet he +felt more at peace than he had done for many months past. Lalage, intent +on her needlework, frowning prettily over the large holes in his socks, +looked so sweet and girlish, so entirely unsoiled, outwardly at least, +by what she had been through, that it seemed as if, after all, there +could be nothing wrong. Marriage was only a formality, he told himself, +and from that time on he tried to school himself to think so, almost +succeeding after a while.</p> + +<p>When his article was finished, Jimmy glanced through it rapidly, made +one or two corrections, scrawled his signature at the foot, then turned +to Lalage. "What is the time, dear? Have any of your clock-men come down +the street lately?"</p> + +<p>She looked up with a smile. "Yes, the watercress man, which means five +o'clock. Have you finished now?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy nodded. "I thought of taking it down to the office now. It's +topical, so there's just a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</a></span> chance they'll use it to-night. Will you +come too?"</p> + +<p>"Of course," she answered. "We can get a motor 'bus at the end of the +street, and it'll be a nice little run out. Besides, it'll be lucky if I +go with you. They'll be sure to take it. I've a feeling I shall bring +you luck. Don't you think so yourself?"</p> + +<p>He kissed her lightly on the hair. "I'm sure you will, sweetheart. And +we want lots of luck just now."</p> + +<p>"What a dirty place and what a grumpy old man!" Lalage remarked as they +came out of the <i>Record</i> office, after handing the envelope to the surly +porter, who had taken it with an inarticulate growl and tossed it to a +waiting boy. "Still, if they use it and they're good to you, I don't +mind how dusty their passage is, or how bad tempered the porter looks."</p> + +<p>Jimmy pressed her arm. "Good to us, you mean, don't you?"</p> + +<p>She laughed. "Yes, good to us, I should say now." In the morning Jimmy +was out early to buy a copy of the paper; and, as she opened the door to +him, his radiant face told her the news.</p> + +<p>"They've used it," he said, unnecessarily.</p> + +<p>She laughed softly. "I felt sure they would. You see Lalage is lucky to you already."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XV" id="CHAPTER_XV"></a>CHAPTER XV</h2> + +<p>"That last article of yours I used was a very good one, and I shall +always be glad to see anything you like to submit; but the amount of +space we can give to foreign stuff, however good, is limited, and I do +not like to have the same signature more than three or four times a +month," Dodgson wrote, in returning Jimmy's next manuscript.</p> + +<p>Jimmy passed the letter to Lalage. "Not very encouraging, is it dear?"</p> + +<p>The girl read it through. "Oh, I think so. Three or four months means +six or eight guineas from one paper alone, and then, you see, there are +so many others. I'm sure you'll do well, because you're very, very +clever, and because you're good to Lalage."</p> + +<p>"Will that bring me luck?" he asked, smiling.</p> + +<p>"Of course," she answered. "Everyone who is good to me gets on and those +who are horrid come to grief. I've seen it, lots of times." She spoke +seriously, with an air of conviction.</p> + +<p>"Well, I hope you're right." Jimmy sighed. He had not sold any +manuscript for several days, and was feeling distinctly worried about +the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</a></span>future. His original capital had dwindled down to a few shillings, +despite Lalage's careful management, and, so far, he had not been paid +for any of his work. Already, the need of money was crippling him, +robbing him of his powers of imagination, and by that hideous perversity +of effect which every writer knows to his cost, making him do less +instead of the more he longed to produce.</p> + +<p>Lalage, ever an optimist, did her best to cheer him up and to assist +him, searching the papers for news items which might form the basis of +an article, counting the number of words in his manuscripts to see they +did not exceed the regulation column length, and even copying out his +rough notes in her clear, bold handwriting.</p> + +<p>"I wish you could get a typewriter machine, Jimmy," she remarked. "I'm +sure your stuff would have a better chance, and I could soon learn to +use the thing. Other girls do, so I'm sure I can."</p> + +<p>"They cost a lot of money," Jimmy answered, rather wearily.</p> + +<p>Lalage tossed her head. "You can get them on the hire-purchase system. I +believe you think I should get tired of it, you old silly. Now don't +you?"</p> + +<p>The man stooped down and kissed her. "I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</a></span> don't think anything of the +kind. I know you're a brick, only——." He broke off with a sigh, then, +"I'm going down to the club, to see if I can find Kelly. I must do +something before we get in a fix."</p> + +<p>She looked up at him anxiously. "Will you be long, dear? And do be +careful, won't you? You walk through the traffic as if it wasn't there, +unless you have me to look after you."</p> + +<p>When he had gone out, she sat for a long time, very still, staring into +the fire. Already, she was getting a little afraid. Twice, Jimmy had +gone down to the club in the vain hope of hearing of something to do or +picking up some useful hints, and each time he had returned a little +flushed and inclined to be apologetic. Lalage did not blame him, even in +her own mind. It was inevitable, she told herself, after all he had been +through, to the strain of which was now added the anxiety of the +present. She did not blame him, but at the same time, as she glanced +round her little home, she gave a shudder of fear at the possibility of +losing it all and of losing Jimmy as well. "If I were only sure of him, +if I dare trust him, I wouldn't mind, I'd risk it all. But to lose +everything, and then be homeless and alone again——" She suddenly felt +very cold and stooped down to poke the little fire.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</a></span></p><p>A moment later, the electric bell rang, three times in rapid +succession, a signal she knew well. She stood up quickly, her face very +pale. "It's Ralph," she muttered. "And we want money so badly. I wonder +if he would just lend it." She stood, with clenched hands, trying to +decide. The bell rang again, seemingly more insistently; then, +deliberately, she sat down, and put her fingers in her ears. "Oh, Jimmy, +I won't, because I love you. But I don't believe you trust me, and I +don't believe you understand."</p> + +<p>Down at the club, Jimmy was seeking advice of Douglas Kelly.</p> + +<p>"Hasn't the <i>Record</i> paid you yet?" the latter asked. "Oh, you haven't +sent in an account? You should have done so on the Wednesday after your +stuff appeared, then you would have got a cheque on the Friday +afternoon. Still, if you go down to-day, before five, the cashier will +give it to you. He's a very decent fellow, and, if you're ever badly +stuck, he'll let you have it the day your article appears. I've been +glad enough to get it that way, more than once."</p> + +<p>Jimmy felt that sudden relief which only those who have been desperately +short of money can know. He had led Lalage to understand that he had a +couple of shillings in his pocket for his own needs beyond the +half-crown he left her, whereas<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</a></span> he had not even got his omnibus fare +back from Fleet Street.</p> + +<p>"I hate to think of you going out without the money for a drink and so +on," she had said. "What's more, I'm not going to let you do it." So he +had lied bravely to her, knowing that, unless he had some luck, the +half-crown would be needed for food for the morrow. Now, however, he +would have money enough for a good many to-morrows.</p> + +<p>Kelly knew nothing of Lalage, but he understood what the sudden +brightening of Jimmy's face meant.</p> + +<p>"Been hard up?" he asked, with a smile. "Why didn't you come to me, as I +told you to do? Of course, you'll find it an uphill game, and I would +advise you to leave it now, at the start, if I were not sure you would +succeed in the end. You'll have a hard fight, because you've got ability +and experience of the world, and those will tell against you at first."</p> + +<p>"Why?" Jimmy asked.</p> + +<p>Kelly gave a cynical little laugh. "Because there's not much demand for +either in Fleet Street. You've only got to study the Press to see +that—dailies, weeklies, magazines, the whole lot. They want writers who +are just on the level of the mob, because then the mob can understand +them.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</a></span> All your travel won't help you to get a job; but if you could go +into a newspaper office and say, 'I know more about Upper Clapton, or +Stockwell, or some such beastly place than any man living,' or 'I'm a +crime expert, and I can give the names, and dates of execution, of every +man hanged in London for the last twenty years,' then they'd welcome you +as a long-lost brother, and give you about ten pounds a week."</p> + +<p>Jimmy laughed, not quite believing him. "Then how did you yourself get on?"</p> + +<p>Kelly finished his drink, and ordered some more before answering the +question, then, "I bluffed," he said. "There was a coal strike coming +on, and I swore I was an expert on coal mining, so the <i>Evening +Guardian</i> gave me a job. I picked up a little knowledge locally, just a +few technical terms and so on; and, as for the rest, neither the editor +nor the public knew that half my stuff was utter rot. It read well, and +lent itself to good headlines."</p> + +<p>"And then, after that?" Jimmy asked.</p> + +<p>"After that? Oh, well, I had got my foot in, and it was easy. I +advertised myself, and made the ruck get out of my way, as I told you +before. I'm not loved, but then I'm not in Fleet Street for the sake of +earning the regard of its population."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</a></span></p><p>Jimmy looked surprised. "They all seem pretty eager to talk to you."</p> + +<p>"Of course they do." Kelly laughed grimly. "Of course they do, because +I'm a power already and I may be an editor by-and-by; but, if I went +down, all they would think about would be to scramble for my place. +Don't think I'm blaming them; they're a decent enough crowd, awfully +decent, but the fight is too hard to have time for thinking about anyone +else. Why you, yourself, are already the common foe, in a sense. You're +taking up space in the <i>Record</i> which, but for you, someone else would +fill. You won't get any help or advice, and most people would say I was +a fool for introducing a possible competitor of my own. You'll feel the +same, if you stick in Fleet Street long enough, which you won't do."</p> + +<p>"I thought you said I was going to succeed," Jimmy retorted.</p> + +<p>Kelly yawned. "So I did, my bright child. But when you've learnt the +ropes, and can afford it, you'll go in for fiction. But just now, all +your ideas are chaotic, and you won't do a decent story until you've +sorted them out and fallen in love."</p> + +<p>Jimmy coloured. "How do you know I've never done that yet?"</p> + +<p>The other man shook his head. "You're too sweetly young in many of your +ways and ideas.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</a></span> Oh, I daresay there's some prim maiden belonging to +your sister's circle, with an aldermanic papa in the City—but you, +yourself, would never really be in love with her. I know you too well; +and if you did marry her, you would never write a book, until you had +run away from her, as you would certainly do. Well," he got up abruptly, +as if to avoid giving any reasons for his ideas, "I'm going over to the +<i>Record</i> office now, and if you come, I'll introduce you to the cashier +and you can get your cheque."</p> + +<p>Jimmy did not waste any time after he left the <i>Record</i> office. The +cashier himself changed the cheque for him, the banks being shut. Jimmy +hesitated a moment as to whether he should take a hansom, then +remembered the lean days of the past, and jumped on an omnibus. Lalage +could make a shilling go a surprisingly long way.</p> + +<p>He found the girl sitting in the dark, in front of an almost dead fire, +and his conscience smote him on account of the time he had spent in the +warm, comfortable club smoking-room.</p> + +<p>"We're in luck, sweetheart," he said, putting his hands on her +shoulders, and kissing her. "I've got the six guineas out of the <i>Record</i>."</p> + +<p>She reached up and pulled his face down to hers again, in one of her +rare bursts of outward affection. "Oh, I'm so glad. I was reckoning<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</a></span> up, +and I found you must have gone out without any money, even for tobacco +or a drink, and I was picturing you trudging back in this cold drizzle. +You are a naughty boy to do those things."</p> + +<p>"And how about you, if I spent all the money? Wouldn't you think to +yourself that I was a selfish beast?"</p> + +<p>Lalage shook her head. "You could never be selfish; it's not your +nature. You might be thoughtless, that's all. Promise me you won't go +out like that again. I shall worry ever so much if you don't. I know, +only too well, what it means to trudge about in the London mud without a +penny for even a glass of hot milk. Oh, the cold." She gave a little +shiver. "You know that shop in Regent Street, where they have the big +fires in the window, showing off some stoves. I've stood there for as +long as I dare, more than once, trying to think I was feeling the heat +through the glass."</p> + +<p>"Don't, please don't," Jimmy muttered thickly. "I do hate to think of it +all. And it shan't be so again, I swear it shan't. Let's forget it all +to-night, and go out and have some dinner somewhere, for a change. +You're all on a shiver now. I'll go out and get some brandy, whilst<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</a></span> you +put your things on. I may as well bring in a bottle."</p> + +<p>Lalage put her hand on his arm. "Not a bottle, dear, only a quartern. +That'll be quite enough. Do what Lalage tells you this time."</p> + +<p>"Don't I always do what you tell me?" he asked, laughing.</p> + +<p>"Oh, I don't want you to say that," she answered quickly. "You ought to +be your own master; only when I know a thing is right I do like to tell +you. A woman should, I think."</p> + +<p>For an instant, Jimmy felt a wild longing to beg her to change the word +"woman" to that of "wife," but she had already turned towards the door, +and at the same moment the noise of the grimy street seemed to come in +through the window and somehow fill the room. The sound recalled him to +his normal self. How could he, a Grierson, take a wife from those surroundings?</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XVI" id="CHAPTER_XVI"></a>CHAPTER XVI</h2> + +<p>Mrs. Marlow had learnt of her brother's sudden change of address with +mingled annoyance and anxiety. It was not pleasant to have him quit the +lodgings she had found for him after so short a trial, and she could not +help feeling that there was some very strong attraction drawing him to +town. Mrs. Benn, that uncompromising "Son of Temperance," had come over +herself to explain matters to Jimmy's sister, and had taken the +opportunity to enlarge on the number of bottles she had found in her +lodger's room, omitting to state, however, that these had included the +best part of a dozen of Bass, which, possibly because she hated liquor +so much, she had promptly sold to her next-door neighbour at a halfpenny +a bottle below the retail price.</p> + +<p>"I'm afraid as how the house was too quiet for Mr. Grierson, mum," she +wound up. "Having nothing to do hisself, except just write, he seemed to +think other folks couldn't be tired and want to go to bed, folks that +worked." She emphasised her words with a truly British scorn for those +who live by their brains. "I'm sure the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</a></span> hours and hours as I've sat up +for him, it's fair worn me out. And him your brother, mum, and uncle to +these lovely little children, what I remember coming into the world."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Marlow wrote plainly to her brother, doing her duty without +flinching. Jimmy read the letter with a grim smile, then handed it to +Lalage, who was bubbling over with wrath long before she reached the end of it.</p> + +<p>"They are horrid, Jimmy, really they are. They see something wrong in +everything you do. It's quite enough to drive you to the bad, never +giving you a chance, and treating you like a silly little boy. I'm sure +you don't drink as she says you do. She must be a nasty-minded woman. +You know I should be the last to want to separate you from your family, +or anything like that, if they were good to you; but as it is, I'm sure +you're much better here than in those miserable lodgings, all alone and +moping. That would make you drink."</p> + +<p>They were having breakfast at the time, but Lalage looked so sweet, +lying back in a big wicker chair, wrapped in an old kimono of Jimmy's, +that he felt compelled to lean over and kiss her.</p> + +<p>"You won't let me go to drink, will you, Lalage?" he asked.</p> + +<p>"Of course not," she answered promptly.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</a></span> "You know how I feel about +that. Yet your people would never believe it if they found me—when they +find me. We girls," she looked up, a little defiantly, "we girls are +supposed to be everything that is bad; whilst they, your City people, +have got all the virtues, except charity, which they don't imagine they need."</p> + +<p>Jimmy coloured. "You're a bit rough on them sometimes, Lalage," he said.</p> + +<p>She shook her head emphatically. "I'm not too rough. Have they any idea +of charity, any idea of forgiveness? If I were able to live respectably +again, live a good life, would they, or any of their kind, allow me to +wipe out the past and start afresh?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy suddenly became busy with a cigarette he was rolling. "You are +living a respectable life now," he muttered, weakly evading the question.</p> + +<p>But Lalage smiled bitterly, and then, with a sudden change of +expression, she laid her hand on his, very gently. "No, Jimmy dear, +let's be straight, even amongst ourselves. You are all right, because +you're a man, and men are allowed to do these things; but they would all +treat me as a bad woman, as something rather worse than a dog. Even you, +dear, don't respect me, in your heart, although I have tried to make you."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</a></span></p><p>The man got up suddenly, tossing his newly made cigarette into the +grate. "I do respect you, you know I do. To me, you come before everyone +else in the world; and I think as much of you, as if, as if——" He +stammered a little, and, still very gently, she finished the sentence for him.</p> + +<p>"As if I were your wife."</p> + +<p>Jimmy's eyes flashed. Somehow, it sounded wonderfully sweet, coming from +her lips, and all his caution, all his Grierson traditions, seemed to +slip from him suddenly. He stood up, very straight, facing her.</p> + +<p>"My wife," he said in a low voice. "My wife. Will you be my wife, Lalage?"</p> + +<p>The girl turned white, and her hand went to her throat, as though she +were choking, then she looked away, staring into the fire, whilst he +watched her, waiting for her answer with almost pitiful anxiety.</p> + +<p>"Dearest," she began at last, "it's very sweet of you——" Then she +paused again, as though searching for the words, which came to her at +last. "Jimmy, dearest, do you really mean it? Remember, you've only +known me quite a little time, and you can't be sure of me yet. Can you? +You see, if you made a mistake it would spoil your whole life. It means so much to you."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</a></span></p><p>"And what does it mean to you?" he asked, thickly.</p> + +<p>"Everything," she answered, simply. "But then, I've spoilt my life +already, and I mustn't spoil yours too."</p> + +<p>"You wouldn't spoil it. You, know that as well as I do. You would give +me something to work for, make me keep up to the mark." He was +thoroughly in earnest now, carried away by the fear of losing her. He +walked up and down the room a couple of times, then stopped in front of +her. "Lalage," he asked, very quietly, "do you love me?"</p> + +<p>The girl nodded, without looking up.</p> + +<p>"Then will you marry me?" He said it deliberately. She clenched her +hands, but answered nothing, till he repeated his question, then she +faced him, white-lipped and wild-eyed.</p> + +<p>"God forgive me for saying it—yes. But not yet, Jimmy, not yet," and +without allowing him to kiss her, she jumped up and ran into the other +room, shutting the door behind her.</p> + +<p>Jimmy walked down to the club that day, not from reasons of +economy—there was still some of the <i>Record</i> money left—but because he +wanted to think matters over, quietly and deliberately. He was conscious +of an unwonted sense of elation—Lalage was to be his, definitely and +finally, so<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</a></span> that they could face the world openly, with none of this +miserable business of subterfuge and bogus address; no one would know of +the past. And then, suddenly, he went cold at the thought of the family +inquisition, and the falsehoods he would have to tell; whilst, even if +the latter were not detected, his people would never forgive him for +marrying a stranger, never agree to his marriage until he was in what +they would consider a good position, which would mean years of waiting. +He tried to picture Lalage, with her almost childish outlook on life, +being cross-examined by the cold and immaculate Ida, or sitting down to +dinner in the Marlow house, where even the servants would turn up their +noses at the mention of the ham and beef shop.</p> + +<p>And then if, after they were married, they came across someone belonging +to Lalage's old life—that was the worst idea of all, intolerable, +wholly abominable. Insensibly, he quickened his pace, as though trying +to get away from the thought, then, finding that useless, turned into a +saloon bar, where he remained a full hour, drinking whisky practically +neat, and endeavouring to interest himself in the other people who came +into the place. When, at last, he did reach the club, he was feeling +much more certain of the wisdom of his choice and his ability to manage +his own affairs. He had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</a></span> determined to tell Douglas Kelly, as +practically his only friend, about his engagement; and yet, somehow, he +felt a distinct sense of relief when, in reply to his question, the waiter said:</p> + +<p>"Mr. Kelly, sir? He has been in, in a great hurry, just for letters and +so on. But," and he lowered his voice discreetly, knowing Kelly to be a +friend of Jimmy's and two other members being near, "but he's gone to +Russia, sir, all in a hurry. Told me to tell you he wouldn't be there +very long, at least he thought not."</p> + +<p>As Jimmy turned away, he found himself face to face with Romsey of the +<i>Evening Post</i>, of whom he had seen a good deal during the last few weeks.</p> + +<p>"Hullo, Grierson," the other said. "You don't look too cheerful. I +suppose you are wondering how the smash is going to affect you."</p> + +<p>Jimmy knit his brow. "What do you mean?" he demanded. "Who has gone to smash?"</p> + +<p>The reporter gave him an incredulous look. "Where on earth do you live +that you haven't heard? Why the <i>Comet</i> ceased publication last night +without warning, which means there are forty of the best men in Fleet +Street out of jobs, ready to scramble for the space you and I and the +other fellows used to have. Cheerful prospect, isn't it?"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</a></span></p><p>Jimmy did not answer. He was wondering dully whether any of these men +had ever felt the same degree of desperate anxiety about the future as +he was feeling then.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XVII" id="CHAPTER_XVII"></a>CHAPTER XVII</h2> + +<p>Things were bad in Fleet Street. Everyone said so, and therefore it +followed that the statement was true. Certainly Jimmy found no reason to +doubt it. His manuscripts came back with horrible regularity, not so +much because they were unsuitable but because there was so little space +and so many eager to fill it. Had he been more experienced he would have +known that things are always bad to the majority, whilst the successful +minority has no time to waste in telling others how it is getting on; +but he was raw to the game, and not over-sanguine by nature, so instead +of being elated by such little luck as he did get he was terribly +discouraged when he counted up the total results of a month's hard work. +He had just managed to scrape together the rent of the flat and the +instalment on the hire-purchase furniture, but that had been all. There +was nothing due to him from any of the papers; he was practically +penniless, as well as a little in debt to such of the local tradesmen as +would allow any credit. His own boots were growing uncomfortably thin, +whilst, as for Lalage, he had not been<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</a></span> able to buy her a single thing. +Not that she asked him for anything, rather otherwise.</p> + +<p>"I can manage," she said with a brave attempt at cheerfulness. "These +shoes will do me for some little time yet, as I hardly ever go out, and +I know you'll get me lots of nice clothes when we grow rich."</p> + +<p>But though she tried to encourage him she was not very successful. It is +no easy task to put a new heart into someone else when there is a deadly +fear gripping at your own, and as day after day went by and she saw him +growing thinner, shabbier, more weary and despondent, her own hopes for +the future dwindled down to the vanishing point. Hitherto he had kept +away from his own people, none of whom had seen him since his return +from Northampton; but they were always there in the background, and she +knew that he had only to abandon her and come into line with their ideas +to get his immediate needs supplied and some provision made for his +future in the shape of a steady, respectable occupation. She believed in +his ability as a writer far more than he did himself, but success meant +months, even years, of waiting, and she saw that he had not the strength +to wait. Already his nerve was going and he was trying to steady himself +with whisky. Towards herself he was very loving and gentle, at least +most<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</a></span> of the time; but he was quickly becoming too worried to work in +the flat. The sharp knock at the door which heralded the daily visit of +one or other of their small creditors would put him off work for the +rest of the day, and before long he took to spending the day at the +club, sometimes writing, more often mooning about in the vague hope of +meeting someone who could help him into a regular berth on one of the papers.</p> + +<p>For Lalage these days passed with unutterable slowness. There was, of +necessity, very little to do in the way of cooking, and she had not the +heart to go out. It is miserable work looking into the shop windows +whilst your own pockets are empty, and, moreover, she had long since +divined the terrible jealousy of the past which was always at the back +of Jimmy's mind, and she knew that he hated her to be out by herself, +although, on the other hand, he seemed afraid to be seen out with her. +It was the dread of meeting some of his own people, she understood that +perfectly well, and the knowledge increased her fears for the future. In +the end she was going to lose everything, not only Jimmy but her little +home as well; and all because she had been insane enough to forget that +love was not for such as herself, because she had been wilfully blind to +the fact that Jimmy came from the Griersons,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</a></span> and must ultimately go +back to the Griersons and their kind.</p> + +<p>Now and then there was a red-letter day, when Dodgson of the <i>Record</i> +wired for a special article, which probably meant two guineas on the +morrow. On those occasions Lalage always went down to the office with +Jimmy to hand in the copy because, as Jimmy declared, she was lucky to +him, and, being elated by the commission, he was able to put on one side +the fear of meeting anyone who knew him. But the next returned +manuscript brought back his depression and sent him down to the club +again to waste his time and drink whisky.</p> + +<p>Lalage did not blame him for leaving her the task of meeting the little +tradesmen, who grew foul-mouthed and truculent over an account of two or +three shillings, as is their wont in that part of London. Rather, she +sorrowed over the far smaller share of worry which did fall to him, and +tried to take it all on to her own shoulders. He would leave her, she +fully believed that, and, had she been as her kind is supposed to be, as +perhaps it is, she would have hastened his going in order to be free +again; but because she loved him she was ready to sacrifice anything to +keep him as long as possible. For Jimmy's own sake, too, she dreaded his +going back to his people, knowing,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[Pg 160]</a></span> as she did, that he could never +forget her, and that he would inevitably seek oblivion and find death in +the bottle. She had divined his tendency that way from the very first, +and the fear of it had never been out of her mind since.</p> + +<p>Jimmy was still keeping up the nominal address at the house just off +Baker Street, and so far Mrs. Fagin, the landlady, had treated him with +fawning politeness when he paid his weekly rent, but from the very first +he had distrusted her, and he always had the feeling that she would sell +his secret if she discovered the market. Once Mrs. Marlow had called and +had been told by the maid that Mr. Grierson was out for the day and his +room was locked, but there was ever the chance that she might call again +and disclose her identity to Mrs. Fagin. The whole thing was a nightmare +to Jimmy, who sometimes found himself blaming Lalage in his heart for +having suggested the arrangement. He was a supremely miserable man, at +least when he was alone, fearful of his own people, terribly worried +about money matters, jealous almost to the point of madness, and haunted +by the dread of losing Lalage in the end. If only they could have faced +the world openly half the battle would have been over, and they could, +he told himself, have got through the rest somehow together. And yet +since that one day<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[Pg 161]</a></span> of madness when he had made her promise to be his +wife he had never referred to the subject again. He wanted her for his +own, and yet he shrank from the sacrifice of marriage. He tried to quiet +his conscience by telling himself it was wiser to wait, that it really +made little difference after all; whilst Lalage said nothing, being +already broken-hearted and bankrupt of hope.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[Pg 162]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XVIII" id="CHAPTER_XVIII"></a>CHAPTER XVIII</h2> + +<p>When she found time to think about him seriously, which was not very +often, Mrs. Marlow was far from being satisfied as to Jimmy's doings or +prospects. Someone had reported having seen him walking down Fleet +Street late at night, looking ill and down at heel, and the news upset +her. It was not pleasant to have these things said about one of the +family, even though he, himself, might be entirely to blame for it. She +would have asked him down to stay for a week-end, but for the fact that +she did not want him to meet Ethel Grimmer again, having the feeling +that he might tell that lady things which he would not confide to his +own sister. But she took counsel with Ida, and, in the end, they decided +that Walter Grierson was the right person to make an investigation.</p> + +<p>Rather unwillingly, Walter undertook the task, or said he would +undertake it, and, after consultation with his wife, who was not in the +least interested, detesting both Ida and May, asked Jimmy down to stay, +three or four days.</p> + +<p>"I'm sure I haven't any desire to go," Jimmy<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[Pg 163]</a></span> said, as he read the +letter to Lalage. Then he coughed a little and put his handkerchief to his mouth.</p> + +<p>Lalage watched him with big, troubled eyes, not for the first time. "I +think you had better go, dear," she said. "The change may do you good, +and it'll take your mind off these stupid worries. I shall manage all +right alone. I'm used to it, you see."</p> + +<p>He took her words in the wrong sense, and glanced at her with sudden +jealous suspicion, which she saw and strove hard to ignore. "You see, +there's nothing urgent due just now," she went on, hurriedly, "and I've +enough food in the house to last me out. If I get some condensed milk +in, I can pretend we're both away."</p> + +<p>Jimmy had the grace to feel ashamed of his own thoughts. "I must see you +fixed up, sweetheart, of course, and, anyway, one night will be enough +for me at Walter's. As for money, there will be a guinea and a half +coming from the <i>Sunday Echo</i> to-morrow. It's their pay day, the second Friday."</p> + +<p>But Lalage shook her head. "You must have that for a new pair of boots, +Jimmy, and one or two little things. I can't let you go as you are. I +only wish there had been more time, so that we could have saved enough +for a new suit for you."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[Pg 164]</a></span> She looked at his figure critically. "I know a +place where they sell misfits very cheap, good ones, and you might get +one to fit you. They would take my dinner dress in exchange, I'm sure."</p> + +<p>"No, no." Jimmy leaned forward and kissed her hand. "I won't have that. +I can manage, and if Mrs. Walter thinks I'm too shabby, she won't ask me +again, which will be a relief."</p> + +<p>Lalage sighed. "I hate to see you looking thin and ill and poor. It just +breaks my heart." She gave a little sob. "But, oh, Jimmy dearest, when +you get to your brother's big house, don't despise Lalage and our poor +little place here; because we have been so happy in it, in spite of all our troubles."</p> + +<p>He drew her to him, very gently. "That will never happen, dear. I won't +go at all, if you're afraid of anything like that. I would much rather +not go, anyway. You are all I want."</p> + +<p>But she had her way in everything, save that he insisted on leaving her +five shillings, in addition to laying in a stock of provisions.</p> + +<p>"Really, I don't want any money," she said; "or a shilling at the most, +in case I want to wire to you. Take the money, Jimmy, do; you will want +a drink at the station, and that sort of thing."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[Pg 165]</a></span></p><p>He looked at her with shining eyes. "Do you ever think of yourself?" he +asked.</p> + +<p>"Of course I do," she laughed. "I want to make you happy, and then I'm +happy, so really I'm selfish, after all."</p> + +<p>In the end, Jimmy stayed three days at Walter's, and, if he did not +actually enjoy himself, at least he was well content to be there. It was +very refreshing to be away from all worries, to have no one asking you +for money, to feel you could go out of the door without the fear of +meeting some miserable creditor. There was plenty to eat, plenty to +drink; and, even if he was not actually in sympathy with Walter and his +ways, there was always the tie of blood between them. Mrs. Walter, too, +made herself very pleasant. She had induced her husband to promise not +to lend Jimmy any money, so she had nothing to fear from this +brother-in-law; whilst, by getting on good terms with him otherwise, she +might be able to use him as a pawn in her never-ending game against May and Ida.</p> + +<p>Jimmy thought of Lalage frequently, wondering how she was getting on, +and trying to persuade himself that he was anxious to get back to her; +and yet, all the time, he was comparing his present surroundings with +those of the flat, and dreading the return to the dreary struggle for<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[Pg 166]</a></span> +existence, the hateful knockings at the door, the insolent refusal of +goods without cash down, the feeling that you were always on thin ice, +in the grip of the Council, the blackmailers, and the hire-purchase +dealers, who did to you as they pleased, because they knew well that you +dare not face the world openly. There was nothing like that at the +Walter Griersons'. They lived as people of position ought to live, as +he, Jimmy Grierson, might have lived, had he not been a fool. And then, +suddenly, he thought of Lalage's unselfishness and courage and tried to +tell himself that, after all, it was worth while. But still, he never +felt as he had felt at Ida's, that fierce longing to be back at Lalage's +side, to fight the world on her behalf. London had broken his nerve +rapidly, and was now breaking his health. Somehow, things had changed. +He longed for rest and comfort and security, such as his own people enjoyed.</p> + +<p>Walter Grierson took his wife's advice and did not attempt to pry into +Jimmy's affairs. "He is quite old enough to look after himself," Mrs. +Walter said, "and I don't see why you should be private detective for +May and Ida. I believe they would try and manage you, too, if I would +let them. Oh, but they would, my dear. And yet I'm sure we have a better +position than either of them. Joseph is very coarse at times, whilst +you<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[Pg 167]</a></span> say yourself that you do not approve of several of Henry's +companies." She scouted the idea that Jimmy looked unwell. "He's got a +cold, that's all; and he smokes too much. Otherwise, he is well enough."</p> + +<p>Walter sighed. "I wish he would go into something steady. I'm afraid he +will never make an income at his present work."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Walter shrugged her shoulders. "He wouldn't take your advice when +he first came home, so he can't blame you whatever happens. May seems to +be afraid he may make some foolish marriage, but I'm sure I see no signs +of that. Of course, if he likes to be sensible and come to you for +advice again, I should be pleased if you were able to find him work in +the City; but, at present, you are not called upon to interfere. I am +sure our own children come first."</p> + +<p>Her husband sighed again. He was quite fond of this brother of whom he +knew so little, but he never ran counter to his wife's wishes in family +affairs; and so, when Jimmy's stay came to an end, he allowed Mrs. +Walter to send May a vague, though generally satisfactory, report of +their visitor and his doings, which had the result of staving off +further inquiries for a time, at least.</p> + +<p>"You look better, dear," Lalage said when Jimmy got back. "I knew the +change would do<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[Pg 168]</a></span> you good. No, I've not been worried at all. Only, of +course, it's been dull without you.... Are you going down to the club +for letters? Well, be in to supper, won't you, dear? I've got something +very nice for you."</p> + +<p>"What is it?" he asked, smiling.</p> + +<p>"You'll see," she answered. "If I don't tell you, you'll hurry home to +find out. Otherwise, you may stay ever so late at that horrid old club."</p> + +<p>The first man Jimmy met in the club was Douglas Kelly, newly returned +from the Continent. Kelly listened attentively to his tale of +ill-success, and when he had done, "I really don't see why you should be +so down in the mouth, Jimmy," the elder man said. "I believe you've done +better than most who start freelancing when they're new to Fleet Street. +Why don't you try some magazine work? It's a better game than doing +articles for the dailies."</p> + +<p>Jimmy shook his head. "I have tried, but I don't seem to get the grip of +a story. I suppose I've no inventive power."</p> + +<p>"Rot," Kelly answered cheerfully. "It's because you're worrying, and you +can't do that and write decent stuff. Have you tried for a job anywhere?"</p> + +<p>The other nodded. "Half a dozen. But they all want experienced men, and, +as things stand,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[Pg 169]</a></span> I don't see how I'm ever going to get the experience."</p> + +<p>"Would you do sub-editing?" Kelly asked. "It's not pleasant work, going +through other people's copy, and so on; but it's good training. You +would take anything? All right. I'll see Dodgson to-night. I know he was +thinking of sacking one of the subs, and he might take you on. I'll +leave a note here for you if I don't see you again. Of course, the pay +is rotten, as I suppose you know."</p> + +<p>Jimmy was so full of his conversation with Kelly that he had forgotten +all about Lalage's promised surprise which was awaiting him at the flat. +True, he hurried back, but she saw at once that it was to tell her his +news, and not to find out what she had prepared for him; in fact, he sat +down at the table, and was about to carve, before it struck him that the +dinner was an unusually elaborate one; then, "How on earth did you +manage it, sweetheart?" he asked.</p> + +<p>She laughed. "How do you think? I schemed it out for a whole day, all on +that five shillings you made me keep. I meant you to have it, and you +see you've had to, after all."</p> + +<p>The man flushed. "You are a brick," he said. "You haven't spent a penny +on yourself, and yet I've been living on the fat of the land at +Walter's.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[Pg 170]</a></span> But this is better than anything they gave me there."</p> + +<p>"That's right," she answered. "So long as you enjoy it, I don't mind all +the trouble—so long as we enjoy it together, I meant. And now if you +get this work perhaps the luck will change."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[Pg 171]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIX" id="CHAPTER_XIX"></a>CHAPTER XIX</h2> + +<p>It was quite time that the <i>Record</i> had a vacancy for a sub-editor, and +Dodgson was willing to give the berth to Jimmy; only his ideas of salary +were far from being satisfactory.</p> + +<p>"You see, you're new to the work, wholly inexperienced," he explained, +"and, under the circumstances, I cannot give you more than two pounds a +week for a start. Afterwards, if the chief sub-editor is satisfied, I +will raise it. If it is worth your while you can start to-morrow."</p> + +<p>Jimmy bit his lip. He had expected three pounds at the very least, and +this would be poor news to take back to Lalage. Still, his work would +only be from about six in the evening until midnight, and he could do +some articles or stories during the day, or at any rate he hoped so. +After all, a certain two pounds was far better than nothing, even though +the rent of the flat would swallow fully half of it. So he accepted, +after a nervous and unsuccessful attempt to get Dodgson to increase the +offer by ten shillings.</p> + +<p>As he walked back westwards, he found himself wondering what the editor +would have said<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[Pg 172]</a></span> had he explained how much that extra ten shillings +would have meant to him. The paper was paying a dividend of twenty per +cent., and if the wages of all the sub-editors had been doubled the +shareholders would never have noticed the difference; but to Lalage and +Jimmy the lack of that half-sovereign would involve semi-starvation, +unless it were possible to sell some articles.</p> + +<p>Lalage put on a brave face when he told her. "It's a beginning, dear," +she said. "Of course, it's a shame to pay a clever man like you so +little; but now you've got your foot in, you'll soon get on. You mustn't +be downhearted about it, Jimmy." She glanced at him keenly. "You're +tired out to-night, and I don't believe you've spent anything on +yourself in getting a drink and so on; and you've walked all the way +from Fleet Street. Now haven't you?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy tried to protest he was all right, but his heavy eyes betrayed +him, and she insisted that he should go out and get a quartern of brandy.</p> + +<p>"But that will take pretty well all we've got," he answered. "And what +will you do to-morrow?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, something will happen," she retorted. "And the worst thing for me +would be to have you ill. What would poor Lalage do then? Now go, like a dear good boy."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[Pg 173]</a></span></p><p>As the door closed behind him, all the brightness left her face. "I +suppose his people would say I was making him drink," she sighed. "Oh, +Jimmy, Jimmy, I'm so afraid. If only I dare agree to give up this flat, +and we could go into quite cheap lodgings. But how can I risk losing everything?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy's work proved more tiring than he had expected. He was thoroughly +conscientious, savagely anxious to satisfy the chief sub-editor and get +a raise; moreover, he was in anything but good health. Consequently, he +always got back to the flat in the early mornings tired out, and, though +he tried hard to write during the daytime, even he, himself, could see +that the work he produced was below his usual level. Anyway, it did not +sell, coming back every time with sickening regularity.</p> + +<p>Despite his protests, Lalage always insisted on sitting up for him. "You +must have something hot when you come in," she declared, "even if we can +only run to a cup of cocoa and a little bit of plaice from the fried +fish shop. You can't do brain work on nothing."</p> + +<p>Jimmy gladly left all the finances to her. Sometimes he wondered how she +contrived to feed him as well as she did, besides paying the rent, and +letting him have at least a shilling a night when<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[Pg 174]</a></span> he went down to the +office. She even managed to get some bottled stout for him, and yet, at +any rate whilst he was at home, no one came to the door to dun her for +money. Had he been stronger, he would probably have been suspicious and +have made inquiries; but he was thoroughly run down and weary, and only +too ready to be free from household worries. He had never kept house +himself, knew but little of the cost of things, and had infinite faith +in Lalage's capacity for management.</p> + +<p>Once or twice, during the first three months of Jimmy's engagement at +the <i>Record</i>, Dodgson asked him to write a special article with +reference to something which had happened abroad, and, when he went to +draw his money for the first of these, Jimmy found that his rate had +been raised to three guineas a column; but his weekly wage remained the +same, and, somehow, he could not summon up courage to ask boldly for a +raise. He was, as Lalage could see plainly, growing a little thinner, a +little more weary and nervous, every week.</p> + +<p>At the end of the second month, Lalage sprang a surprise on him. They +were at breakfast when, with a rather heightened colour, she brought +five sovereigns out of her purse and gave them to him. "Jimmy," she +said, hurriedly, "you must get a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[Pg 175]</a></span> new suit, and some collars and ties +and things, really you must."</p> + +<p>He looked at the money, then at her. "Where did you get this, Lalage?" +he asked, very quietly.</p> + +<p>She faced him so bravely that his suspicions vanished at once. "I saved +it up, from those articles of yours."</p> + +<p>"And how about you? You want things far more than I do, sweetheart. I +don't think you have had any new clothes since I met you."</p> + +<p>Lalage shook her head vehemently. "That's for you. You have to go to +work, and it worries me terribly when I see you shabby. You will feel +ever so much better when you've got a new suit, and they'll think more +of you at the office. Clothes give one confidence. Now, you shall come +out this morning and order a nice dark tweed, or a grey. I'm not sure I +shan't like you best in grey. Anyway, we'll see."</p> + +<p>The new clothes certainly made Jimmy look better, and, for a little +while, Lalage deluded herself into the belief that he really was growing +stronger; then one night he came home shivering, with a severe chill, +and his old enemy, the malaria, gripped him again. True, he was only +absent from the office two nights; but the trouble seemed to remain, and +Lalage had to redouble her efforts to feed him up. Often, during those +days, she<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[Pg 176]</a></span> tried to steel herself into sending him away, into forcing +him to go back to his own people to be nursed as they could afford to +nurse him; but when it came to the point of speaking, her resolution +always failed her. She could not bear to part from him—yet. And, if she +did send him away, there was always the fear, amounting almost to a +certainty, that he would drink to drown remembrance of her.</p> + +<p>No, she told herself, she must keep him as long as she could, for his +own sake, as well as for hers. What would happen to herself if the +parting did come, she never tried to consider. The thought of it was too +awful. Jimmy had been so sweet and kind and thoughtful that it was +absolutely impossible for her to imagine anyone replacing him. The fact +that the question of marriage between them had been tacitly dropped did +not weigh with her now. She had never dared to hope that he would redeem +his promise eventually; and, latterly, she had tried to make herself +forget that the matter had ever been mentioned between them.</p> + +<p>Jimmy had seen none of his own people since his visit to the Walter +Griersons'. His work gave him a good and sufficient excuse for not +leaving town, and it never occurred to him to call on either Henry or +Walter in the City. Still, he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[Pg 177]</a></span> wrote frequently; and, as time went on, +he began to lose some of his fear of their discovering the existence of +Lalage. Neither Ida nor May seemed to have any suspicions, so far as he +could judge from their letters. Consequently, it gave him a terrible +shock when, one morning, about the beginning of his fourth month on the +<i>Record</i>, he received a wire from May commanding him to meet her as soon +as possible at Walter's office.</p> + +<p>Lalage, who had gone deadly pale, picked up the detestable brown envelope.</p> + +<p>"It's addressed here. So they know," she whispered.</p> + +<p>"Yes, they know," he repeated dully.</p> + +<p>They sat for a long time in silence, then he got up, evidently intending to go out.</p> + +<p>Lalage stood up, too. "Jimmy, you will leave me," she said.</p> + +<p>He turned round quickly and took her in his arms. "Never, never, +sweetheart. After all you've done for me! You ought to know me better."</p> + +<p>For answer, she gave him a long, passionate kiss, as though saying farewell.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[Pg 178]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XX" id="CHAPTER_XX"></a>CHAPTER XX</h2> + +<p>Mrs. Marlow was a good woman. The rector himself had told her so only +the week before when she had given him a cheque for twenty guineas in +aid of his favourite charity, the Mission to the Moabites. Consequently, +the discovery of Jimmy's double life had filled her with both sorrow and +loathing; sorrow at the thought that a Grierson should have been so weak +and foolish, loathing at the conduct of the woman who led him astray. +She was sitting very grim and upright in the client's chair when Jimmy +came in; whilst Walter was at the other side of the table, nervously +playing with his eyeglasses and wishing inwardly he had telegraphed for +his wife, a proposal which May had vetoed.</p> + +<p>"Excuse me, Walter, but this is a matter for our father's children +only," she had said, and Walter had, as usual, bowed to her ruling. Ever +since their mother's death May had been the high priestess of the family +fetish, the position of the Griersons.</p> + +<p>The two brothers shook hands in silence, but Mrs. Marlow made no move +beyond the very<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[Pg 179]</a></span> slightest nod, which seemed to be merely a recognition +of the fact that the culprit had arrived.</p> + +<p>Jimmy laid his hat on the table, then went and leaned against the +fireplace with an assumption of indifference. "Well, May," he said at +last, "what is it?"</p> + +<p>His sister turned on him suddenly. "Please don't be a hypocrite any +more, Jimmy, if you can help it." Her voice was hard and scornful. "You +must know from my wire that we have found out all about your disgraceful +conduct. As a matter of fact we knew of it a week ago, and might have +sent for you then, but we have had detectives making inquiries into +that," she hesitated, "that person's character and antecedents in the +hope of being able to open your eyes. Isn't that so, Walter?"</p> + +<p>The elder man nodded and gave a little grunt of acquiescence, though it +was obvious he did not relish being dragged into the matter at all.</p> + +<p>Jimmy, white with sudden passion, took a step forward. "Confound it, +May——" he began.</p> + +<p>His sister put her hands to her ears. "Please don't make it worse by +swearing at me. I am not the Penrose woman. We have the right to speak +to you as one of the family, if only to save you from further disgrace, +and perhaps prosecution,"—she emphasised the last words, and then<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[Pg 180]</a></span> +repeated them, "yes, from prosecution. Not only has this person been +bleeding you, working you to death, and taking your last penny——"</p> + +<p>Jimmy, remembering all that Lalage had done for him during the past +three months, cut her short savagely. "That's a lie. She's been +everything a woman should be to me."</p> + +<p>His sister laughed in bitter scorn. "And to half a dozen other men as +well. Oh, Jimmy, Jimmy, what a fool you are, how you've been fooled. Do +you think she's been true to you? Do you think a vile creature like that +could be true to anyone? No, I will speak for all your swearing at me. +Do you think that whilst you have been slaving at that office at nights +she has been at home thinking of you? Oh, you have been a blind fool! +She has told you lies about everything, over the rent, over the amount +she had to pay to the hire-purchase people, over what she was spending. +Do you think your paltry two pounds a week was sufficient to dress her +and keep her in luxury?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy turned away, gripping the mantelpiece for support. He remembered +many little things which had given him a momentary pang of suspicion at +the time; now, suddenly those suspicions became certainties; and when he +looked round again his face was five years older, for he had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[Pg 181]</a></span> loved +Lalage, and he knew that May was telling him the truth. He had been a +blind fool; but still the remembrance of the past was strong in him, and +he made a last fight against believing.</p> + +<p>"It's a lie, it's a lie," he repeated hoarsely. There was something in +his eyes which nearly broke down May's hardness, a look she had never +seen on any man's face before, which she never got out of her memory again.</p> + +<p>"I know it hurts, Jimmy, dear," she said far more gently. "It must hurt +because you've been infatuated by a very clever and bad woman; but for +all that it is true. Do you know anything of her past? What has she told +you? We know now that she was the daughter of a scientific writer, and +that, even when he lay on his dying bed, she went away with someone, +then came back with a lie in her mouth, about having been to town, +selling one of his unpublished books. Her own aunt told us of it, her aunt by marriage."</p> + +<p>"I don't believe it. I won't believe it," Jimmy muttered.</p> + +<p>May shrugged her shoulders. "We have proofs, the best of proofs. Is it not so, Walter?"</p> + +<p>The elder brother nodded without looking up. In his case, too, it was +the first time tragedy, real tragedy, had come into his life, and it was +making him think. He realised dimly that the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[Pg 182]</a></span> light had gone out for +Jimmy, and as he scratched lines on his blotting-pad with the rim of his +eyeglasses, he fell to wondering, in a dull, far-off sort of way, +whether his brother would shoot himself as their father had done, and +what the coroner's verdict would be, and what the world, by which he +meant the City, would say. Then the spring of his glasses snapped +suddenly, and the annoyance brought him back sharply to the immediate present.</p> + +<p>"Yes, we have complete proof, legal proof," he said. "Your sister is +quite right." Words seemed to be failing him, then he got up abruptly +and laid a kindly hand on Jimmy's shoulder, as he had often done many +years before when they had both been boys. "It's better for you to know, +old man. She's a bad lot, and you're well clear of it all. You'll soon +forget her and find someone very different."</p> + +<p>His words had the effect of rousing May's anger anew. "Don't talk like +that, Walter, please," she said sharply. "It's hardly decent under the +present circumstances. I presume, Jimmy, that after what we have told +you, you will neither see nor write to that creature again."</p> + +<p>Jimmy's eyes flashed. "I shall see her and ask her side of it. Am I to +condemn her unheard on the strength of the gossip some vile hangers-on<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[Pg 183]</a></span> +have concocted in return for your money? I shall go down there at once."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Marlow's laugh was very scornful. "I said you were a fool. Of +course, she'll lie to you again, and wheedle round you. As for the +hangers-on, to use your own elegant term, I heard first from Mrs. Fagin, +who is a most respectable woman, I find, with a husband in a very good +position in the Council office. She had no idea she was lending herself +to such a deception, and sent me to the mayor, who very kindly had +inquiries made. Then we actually caught this woman, as you can see by these."</p> + +<p>She held out a little bundle of papers which Jimmy took mechanically, +fingered for a moment, then with a sudden resolution he tossed it into +the fire, and as it did not catch immediately drove it down into the +glowing coals with the heel of his boot.</p> + +<p>May watched him in silence, but when the blaze had died down again, +"That stupid action won't alter the facts," she said; "and I may as well +tell you that the mayor has asked the police to make her leave that +flat. I am only sorry there is no charge we can bring against her. +Anyway, she will be watched," she added vindictively. "Ida has gone to +warn her now in case she tries to blackmail you."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[Pg 184]</a></span></p><p>Jimmy took up his hat quickly. "Good-bye, Walter," he said quietly, +and, ignoring his sister, fumbled a little uncertainly for the handle of the door.</p> + +<p>May sprang up and seized his arm. "Jimmy, oh, Jimmy, dear, don't go like +that, don't go back to her. We are your own people, you must remember +that, and because we love you, we want to overlook all this and see you +get on. Don't spoil your life in this way and make us all miserable. If +you see her again she has enough wicked cleverness to get you back into her power."</p> + +<p>There was genuine feeling in her voice, and for a moment Jimmy was +inclined to change his mind, then he released her clutch very gently, +and without another word went out of the office.</p> + +<p>"He will go back to her, Walter, I am sure he will. He is weak enough +for anything where a woman is concerned," May sobbed.</p> + +<p>Walter shook his head. "I think not. No, I'm sure he won't," he said +with a degree of assurance he was far from feeling; then he looked at +his watch. "Well, I've got an appointment with a client in a few +minutes, May; I don't want to hurry you off, but——"</p> + +<p>May wiped her eyes and drew down her veil. "I do hope Ida manages to +frighten her away before Jimmy gets there," she said.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[Pg 185]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXI" id="CHAPTER_XXI"></a>CHAPTER XXI</h2> + +<p>Ida Fenton did not shrink from the task of interviewing Lalage. Rather +otherwise, in fact, for her own conduct had always been so correct, both +her nature and her circumstances combining to keep her out of +temptation, that she felt a repulsion, verging almost on hatred, towards +those who had erred; consequently, she took a kind of grim pleasure in +chastening the sinner. Unconsciously, too, Joseph Fenton had made things +worse for Lalage by attempting a remonstrance.</p> + +<p>"I think you and May are going too far, putting the police on her and so +on," he had said. "Why can't you be content to give Jimmy a warning, and +leave the girl alone. It looks bad, being so vindictive."</p> + +<p>Whereupon Ida had turned on him in one of those cold outbursts of fury +which his rare attempts at independence always provoked. She had given +up her life to this man, whose natural, easy-going weakness of character +she knew so well; and now he actually dared to put in a good word for an +abandoned woman. As a rule, Joseph bowed to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[Pg 186]</a></span> the storm, but on this +occasion he, too, had lost his temper, and then, suddenly Ida had +understood, or had thought she understood. Joseph knew Lalage's address. +Jealousy redoubled Ida's bitterness, and she went to the flat more than +ever determined to hunt its occupant out into the streets. A woman as +good as herself had a perfect right to be merciless.</p> + +<p>When Lalage opened the door she realised instantly who her visitor must +be. That hard, beautiful face was as like Jimmy's in features as it was +unlike his in expression. Looking at it, Lalage understood that her own +cause was lost; it would be quite useless pleading to Ida Fenton.</p> + +<p>The visitor swept in scornfully. Lalage closed the door and then stood, +waiting, white-faced and desperate.</p> + +<p>"I have come for Mr. Grierson's things. Kindly pack them up and have +them taken down to my cab." Ida's quiet voice belied the savage anger +which the sight of this girl had aroused.</p> + +<p>Lalage started. She had never thought of this. Could it be that Jimmy +was not coming back at all, even to say "Good-bye," that she would never see him again?</p> + +<p>"Did he send you?" she asked breathlessly.</p> + +<p>In a good cause, Ida did not hesitate to strain the truth. "Of course," +she answered <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[Pg 187]</a></span>impatiently, then she went a little too far, and added +something which she thought would hurt. "He is waiting down below now."</p> + +<p>Lalage made a rapid mental calculation. Jimmy had only set out for the +City twenty minutes before, and could not have returned, so she laughed +bitterly. "I will give them to Mr. Grierson when he comes for them +himself," she answered.</p> + +<p>Ida's steely eyes glittered. "He will not be such a fool as to come +back, weak and wicked though he has been."</p> + +<p>The younger woman took a step forward so suddenly that Mrs. Fenton +recoiled. "He is not weak and wicked. It is abominable for you, his +sister, to say so. He is far too good for any of you, and whatever he +has done wrong, you are to blame for it. You never tried to understand +him or help him. You just left him drift away because he didn't fall in +with your narrow-minded ideas. I may have done wrong, I have done wrong; +but he has always been all that is good and true and honourable. He may +leave me, but he'll never go back to you, never, never, never." She paused, breathless.</p> + +<p>Ida Fenton had recovered her composure. "Perhaps it will alter your +point of view when I tell you that if my brother continues to know you, +he will never get anything from his family.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[Pg 188]</a></span> We shall cut him off +entirely. I believe that is the kind of argument which appeals to +persons of your sort." She emphasised the last two words. "He may have +misled you with the idea that he could get money out of us; but that was +quite wrong; whilst, as for his own prospects, he is no good and never will be."</p> + +<p>"You shan't say that about him," Lalage broke in passionately. "It's +only your ignorance and your jealousy of his cleverness."</p> + +<p>Ida shrugged her shoulders scornfully. "No doubt you are a judge of what +is correct and right. You should know my brother by now. But I think he, +too, will have learnt all about you this morning. That telegram which +trapped you a few nights back, calling you out to meet a man in the West +End, was sent by one of my brother-in-law's clerks. You were watched +then, and recognised by the police. You will get notice to leave here +to-day, and I do not think you will find another place in London. If you +can explain all that to my brother to his satisfaction, he must be such +a fool that you will be welcome to him."</p> + +<p>Then she swept out, feeling she had vindicated the Grierson tradition.</p> + +<p>It was an hour later, when Lalage heard Jimmy's key in the lock. She was +sitting huddled up in a big armchair, his favourite chair; but she did<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[Pg 189]</a></span> +not move when he came in, and stood in front of her, though she had +noticed that he was dragging his feet a little, and breathing heavily, +as though the stairs had exhausted him.</p> + +<p>"Well?" he said at last.</p> + +<p>She turned her head away. "Your sister came soon after you left," she +said, in a curious, dull voice.</p> + +<p>Jimmy started. "Ida? Ida has been here already?" He passed his hand over +his forehead in a dazed sort of way, then tried to pull himself +together, as though to meet a blow. "Is it true, Lalage?" he asked.</p> + +<p>She answered him with a nod.</p> + +<p>On the second time that day, Jimmy steadied himself by the mantelpiece, +only now his head went down on to his arms, and Lalage heard him give a sob.</p> + +<p>In an instant she was on her feet, trying to turn his face towards hers. +"Oh, I did it all for you, Jimmy, I did it all for you. Do you believe +that, oh, you must believe that. You were ill and half-starving, and I +had to get you nourishment and clothes. It was the quickest way, the +only way I could think of; and it seemed so lovely to get you good food, +and make you stronger. It was awful, but it would have been more awful +to see you dying. Jimmy, believe me, you must <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[Pg 190]</a></span>believe me, every penny +went for you. I didn't want it for myself, only for you; and I thought +when the worry and the knocking at the door by the tradesmen were over, +you would soon get on, and then I would have stopped, oh, so gladly. +Jimmy, dear, Jimmy, sweetheart, say you understand, even if you don't forgive."</p> + +<p>The man looked up, and, for the first time, Lalage saw how he had +changed. He was livid and ghastly, and, when he tried to speak, he +caught his breath and coughed heavily. Lalage waited with pitiful +anxiety for his answer.</p> + +<p>"I understand," he said, "but you ought not to have done it, after your +promising to marry me."</p> + +<p>She turned away hopelessly, and sank into the chair again, knowing she +had lost him. "I did it for the best," she wailed. "I only thought of +you, Jimmy, only of you."</p> + +<p>"You were wrong," he answered dully. "We were both wrong. It has all +been a mistake from the first. There is nothing but misery in this sort +of life, there can only be misery." He was talking in a detached kind of +way, as though the pain of the blow had been succeeded by a mental numbness.</p> + +<p>Lalage was sobbing very quietly in the chair; it was the end of +everything for her.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[Pg 191]</a></span></p><p>After a while, "What will you do now?" he asked.</p> + +<p>She shook her head. "I don't know. I don't think I care, now I've lost +you." She waited a moment in a last, desperate hope he would correct +her, then went on, "Your people have been to the police, and they're +hunting me out. Already, the agent has been round to give me notice to +go immediately, and the hire-purchase people are sending for the +furniture back. Everything has gone. Still I shall manage."</p> + +<p>In a flash, he was jealous again. "Do you mean to say——" he began; but +she cut him short.</p> + +<p>"No, Jimmy, not that. You need never fear the old life again."</p> + +<p>Her words gave him a new fear. "Will you promise you won't kill +yourself?" He had come nearer to her, and she thought he was going to touch her.</p> + +<p>For a moment she hesitated, confirming his suspicions.</p> + +<p>"Promise," he said, almost sternly.</p> + +<p>Then she looked up, and asked him a question in turn: "What will you do, Jimmy?"</p> + +<p>He had no reply ready, or, at any rate, he did not reply, and she went +on. "I will promise that, Jimmy, if you will promise me something. +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[Pg 192]</a></span>Promise, on your word of honour, not to let this ruin your life, not to +go wrong and drink."</p> + +<p>Jimmy did as she had done; he hesitated a moment. "I will promise, if +you will do as I want—go down into the country, away from this horrible +town, and live quietly. I will manage the money, somehow."</p> + +<p>"And not see you again? Jimmy, you don't mean not see you again, just as +a friend, only as a friend?"</p> + +<p>His silence answered her, and she fell to sobbing once more, very +quietly this time, whilst he stood at the window, staring out at +nothing. At last, she grew calm and stood up, drying her eyes.</p> + +<p>"Very well," she said. "I will leave it all to you, because I can't help +myself. After a time, when I feel better, I shall get something to do, +perhaps, in a shop, or dressmaking. Only, the quieter the place the +better; and, Jimmy, whatever you do, you must not let your people know where I am."</p> + +<p>"It is hardly likely I shall see much of them," he answered grimly. "I +think you had better go to some quiet hotel to-night," he added. "Get +your things together, and I will see you to-morrow and arrange matters +then. You say they are seizing all this furniture and so on."</p> + +<p>They had both got back to a kind of forced<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[Pg 193]</a></span> calmness now, and she +answered him quietly. "Yes, my poor little home is going. It's no good +protesting; your sisters have made that impossible; and these people can +do just as they like. I suppose the landlord telephoned to the furniture +people, and they are going shares. Yet I have already paid more than the +goods are worth."</p> + +<p>Half an hour later, she came out of the bedroom with her hat on.</p> + +<p>"I have packed your things as well, Jimmy. What are you going to do with +them? Will you take them away now, and then I can leave the keys at the +agent's office as we go past."</p> + +<p>Jimmy started. He had forgotten they were both homeless now. "Yes, I +suppose so. I hadn't thought. I will go to the hotel I stayed at before, +and then take you down to another. I will go and get a cab."</p> + +<p>Whilst he was out, Lalage hastily tidied up her little kitchen; then, +taking a dustpan and brush, she swept up a few scraps of mud which had +come off Jimmy's boots. In a drawer of the table she found his pen and a +scrap of blotting paper he had used, and thrust them hurriedly into her +dress. Then, during a final look round, she kissed in turn each article +of furniture he had been wont to use, heedless of the tears that were +dropping on them, coming last of all to his own chair, where she<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[Pg 194]</a></span> knelt +down and buried her face in the seat. She was still there when she heard +his step on the stairs; but she jumped up hastily and met him in the +little hall, whither she had dragged the luggage.</p> + +<p>"It is all ready now," she said, and went out without looking back.</p> + +<p>When Jimmy got down to the club a couple of hours later, he found a +telegram waiting for him in the rack, signed "Joseph Fenton."</p> + +<p>It read: "Meet me any time to-night at the Grand Central Hotel. Shall be alone."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[Pg 195]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXII" id="CHAPTER_XXII"></a>CHAPTER XXII</h2> + +<p>Jimmy heaved a sigh of relief as he read the telegram. In after years, +he looked back on it as the one ray of brightness in the most ghastly +day of his life. It did not alter the essential fact that everything had +gone to pieces—nothing could alter that—but it made matters less +complicated so far as Lalage's immediate future was concerned. He had +intended asking his brother-in-law for a loan, and it was a load off his +mind to find that Joseph was actually in town. A letter might, probably +would, have fallen into Ida's hands, and this was one of those cases +where an interview was better than many pages of explanations.</p> + +<p>In reply to the telegram, Jimmy wired that he would be at the hotel at +nine o'clock. He had given up all idea of going to the office that +night, or, rather, of ever going there again. He must get away, at once, +from everything which might remind him of the old life. He must cut +himself adrift from it, immediately, altogether, if he wished to +preserve his sanity. For himself, he cared nothing, at least at the +moment; but, though he might never see her again once she had left +London, he had to provide for Lalage. The<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[Pg 196]</a></span> Grierson strain in him had +asserted itself in so far as it had made him determine to leave Lalage. +He was able now to see her sin and his own, especially hers; but still +he could not abandon her to her fate, as a true Grierson would have +done, because he had been passionately in love, whilst the love of the +true Grierson is always decorous, and truly tempered by financial +considerations. The dowerless bride is regarded with coldness; the bride +with a past is anathema; there is no road back, at least in the opinion +of those who have sub-edited their religion in the interests of propriety.</p> + +<p>Jimmy had no difficulty in finding a substitute to take on his work at +the <i>Record</i> office, especially when he made it known that there was +going to be a vacancy on the staff immediately.</p> + +<p>"I'm a bit knocked out," he explained. "The malaria has got hold of me +again, and the doctor says I must go out at once."</p> + +<p>The other man nodded sympathetically, and suggested a drink. He, +himself, had been out of work for nearly six months, and the chance of +securing Jimmy's berth had altered the whole outlook for him.</p> + +<p>"Yes, you do look off colour," he said. "I've noticed it several times +lately. Night work doesn't suit you, I suppose. Now, I'm used to it, +been at it for years. Well, I'll give Dodgson this note<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[Pg 197]</a></span> of yours. It'll +be all right. He knows me well enough. So long. Thanks very much for thinking of me."</p> + +<p>Jimmy turned wearily, and went down the corridor to the dining-room. He +had eaten nothing all day, and it struck him Lalage would be worried if she knew.</p> + +<p>"Bring me anything you like," he said to the waiter, but when the plates +came he merely took one mouthful, and then sat, staring with unseeing +eyes at a paper he had picked up, whilst the gravy grew cold and greasy. +He was wondering what Lalage was doing, alone in that little hotel near +the General Post Office.</p> + +<p>"As long as it's quiet, Jimmy, that's all I care about; and the further +from the West End the better. Noise would drive me quite mad, I think," she had said.</p> + +<p>So far, he had not tried to analyse his own feelings toward Lalage. All +he knew was that he was sounding the lowest depths of misery, and he +speculated, more or less vaguely, whether she could understand what he +was suffering. He wanted to blame her, in fact he knew that he ought to +blame her, that she had betrayed him and had sinned beyond all hope of +forgiveness; and yet in his ears there was still ringing her +heart-broken wail, "I did it all for you Jimmy, I did it all for you."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[Pg 198]</a></span></p><p>At last the voice of the waiter broke in on his thoughts. "You don't +seem to like that, sir. Anything I can get for you instead?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy started. "No, no. It's quite all right. I don't feel hungry now, +that's the only trouble, thanks."</p> + +<p>The waiter was a kindly man, and he had seen a good deal of life during +nearly thirty years of service in clubs; consequently, he shook his head +mournfully as Jimmy went out. "Mr. Grierson's in trouble," he remarked +to the carver. "He looks fair broken up, as though he didn't care what came next."</p> + +<p>The carver, who had no imagination, grunted. "Got the sack, I suppose," +he said, and began to dissect a chicken.</p> + +<p>The waiter shook his head again. "That doesn't make a man pay for food +he's not going to eat. It's a woman has played the fool with him. I +shouldn't be surprised if we don't see him here again. And he's a nice +gentleman, too, always polite to you and so on."</p> + +<p>Jimmy had an hour and a half to kill before going to Joseph Fenton's +hotel, and, ordinarily, he would have spent the time reading or writing +in the club; but already the place had become unbearable to him; +everything in it seemed to speak to him of Lalage, to remind him of her +and of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[Pg 199]</a></span> that past which had suddenly become such a horrible memory. Why, +it was Lalage herself who had saved up the two guineas to pay his +subscription, only a couple of months ago. He went hot at the thought of +it, for it brought back the remembrance of so many other things she had +done for him. For a moment he hesitated. She was calling him back to her +side. "It was all for you, Jimmy, all for you." That part of it was +true, whatever else had been false; and she was alone in that gloomy +little hotel, eating her heart out, conscious that she had lost him. She +had betrayed his trust because she loved him so well, because she could +not bear to part with him—for a few seconds he understood that, and +felt he could forgive everything; but an instant later he was a Grierson +again. She had lied to him; she had been false to him in the greatest of +all things; and there could be no forgiveness. His people had found her +out, had proved to him what she really was, and he could not give them +up for her, knowing that she understood nothing of honour or truth. So, +instead of going to the hotel in the City, Jimmy went westwards, slowly, +listlessly, with no aim but to kill time. The Strand was thronged with +its night population, just as it had been on the first evening of his +return; but now he looked on everyone with suspicion, almost with +hatred.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[Pg 200]</a></span> Any of these men might know his secret, might have heard of him +from Lalage and have laughed at him. There was madness in the thought, +and his eyes gleamed so suddenly that a policeman in plain clothes, +having noticed him, thought it well to follow him for a while; but the +fit passed almost as quickly as it had come on, and he became listless +again, shuffling his feet a little on the pavement, as though utterly +weary and disillusioned.</p> + +<p>The women caught his eye now, hard-faced, painted, weirdly-dressed, and +he began to wonder how they could possibly attract anyone, and to +compare them with Lalage. She had never looked like that, there had been +no sort of kinship between her and these creatures, and yet—she had +confessed that May's charges were true.</p> + +<p>His way to the hotel led him in the direction of the flat. At first, he +was inclined to avoid the little back street, for fear that he might be +recognised and pointed at; then the longing to have one more look +overcame the fear, and he turned up the road where the barrows were, +past the ham and beef shop, and came opposite the grimy mansion. It +seemed but natural to glance upwards at what had been Lalage's windows; +though it gave him a shock to see that, whilst the curtains had been +torn down, leaving a broken tape <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[Pg 201]</a></span>hanging forlornly, there was a light +in the rooms; then he noticed, for the first time, that there was a van +outside the front entrance. They were just finishing the task of clearing out the flat.</p> + +<p>From the shelter of a big gateway opposite, Jimmy watched them bring +down Lalage's own chair and a wash hand stand which he himself had made +for her out of an old packing case in those early days before London had +taken the life out of him. Then, suddenly, the light upstairs was +extinguished, and a few minutes later a short, stout man in a seedy +frock coat and decrepit silk hat came down the steps, and ordered the +van to drive away.</p> + +<p>"That's the lot," he said. "Now get back to the shop quick. These things +may have to go out again to-morrow. Tell Mr. Gluck to have them polished +up first thing in the morning." Then he mopped his forehead with an +uncleanly bandana handkerchief, and made his way to a public-house lower +down the street. Jimmy followed him thither with no definite object, +save perhaps a kind of morbid curiosity.</p> + +<p>The publican greeted the furniture dealer with a friendly nod. "Clearing +another out, Mr. Ludwig?"</p> + +<p>The other grunted assent. "One of the soft sort. She ran away. It just +comes in right, as I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[Pg 202]</a></span> have another customer for the goods, and there was +a lot paid on them. Pretty girl she was, too," and he gave a leer which +made Jimmy go red first and then very white, and leave hurriedly without +touching the whisky he had ordered.</p> + +<p>Joseph Fenton was waiting for his brother-in-law in the hall of his +hotel. Jimmy, scarcely knowing what sort of reception to expect, had +come in white-faced and hard-eyed, but the elder man's handshake eased +his mind at once.</p> + +<p>Fenton led the way into the smoking-room, selected a couple of chairs in +the further corner, then held out his cigar case. "Have a smoke?" he said.</p> + +<p>Jimmy helped himself, and, for a minute or two, they smoked in silence; then:</p> + +<p>"This is a bit of an upset, Jimmy," Joseph remarked; getting no reply +beyond a curt nod, he went on, "I'm not going to talk to you about the +moral side of it—I expect your sisters have done that, too much +perhaps—but what is this girl going to do now? You can't let her starve."</p> + +<p>"Ida and May say she ought to," Jimmy answered grimly. The elder man +made a gesture of annoyance. "I know. Ida told me, and we disagreed." He +paused and stared at the smoke curling upwards from his cigar, as though +trying to find inspiration in it. He was always a little<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[Pg 203]</a></span> slow and +awkward in his speech, and now he seemed worse than ever; but at last he +went on: "Look here, Jimmy, I went through much the same sort of thing +myself, before I was engaged to your sister, so I understand. You see? +My people found out and sent me abroad; and I didn't hear of the girl +again until it was too late." He sighed heavily, and stared once more at the cigar smoke.</p> + +<p>Jimmy looked up. "What had happened?" he asked.</p> + +<p>Joseph started. "She had drowned herself." He spoke very quietly, but +none the less Jimmy realised what the memory meant to this man whom he +had always thought a little dull and prosaic. "When I let them ship me +away—I was only a youngster at the time—I thought they would help her +to get a fresh start, but they didn't. It's spoilt my life, and that's +why I don't want yours spoilt. At least give her the chance to go +right." He drew a packet of bank-notes from his pocket. "Here's fifty to +go on with. Come to me when you want some more. Only, send her right +away, where you won't be tempted to go and see her. You must drop it +now. There can be no question of your marrying her; and there's only +misery in this free love, as you, yourself, have seen."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[Pg 204]</a></span></p><p>Jimmy held out his hand gratefully. "It's awfully good of you, Joseph. +I was coming to you for a loan when I got your wire. She,"—somehow he +could not bring himself to mention Lalage's name,—"she is only too +anxious to get away from town, and this money will make it possible. I +suppose in time she'll get something to do; but there's been no time to make plans yet."</p> + +<p>"Well, let me know when you want some more money. Write to the office, +not to the house. I only wish you had asked me before this happened. +I've been pretty successful, at least in business; but that's not +everything." He paused and then went on, in short, jerky sentences. +"Don't marry a saint, Jimmy. They're better to watch than to live with. +Your sister never forgives anything, and that's a big mistake. It makes +life hard sometimes. I suppose I'm getting a bit old, and I feel things. +The doctor says I must be careful."</p> + +<p>Jimmy glanced at him keenly; although his mind was full of his own +troubles, it had struck him that Joseph looked far from well. "Is there +anything special the matter?" he asked.</p> + +<p>Joseph nodded. "Heart," he answered briefly. "Well, I'm glad I've seen +you. Don't say anything about it to Ida. I think I'll go up now, I'm +feeling a little tired. Good night, Jimmy. Give<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[Pg 205]</a></span> her a chance to go +straight, and then try to forget her."</p> + +<p>It was the following afternoon, when Jimmy got back to the club after +having seen Lalage off at the station, that he found a note from May awaiting him.</p> + +<p>"You will be shocked to hear," May wrote, "that Joseph was discovered +dead in bed this morning. The doctor says it was heart disease. I need +hardly say that Ida is terribly upset."</p> + +<p>Two or three days later, Jimmy learnt that his brother-in-law had left +him a thousand pounds.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[Pg 206]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXIII" id="CHAPTER_XXIII"></a>CHAPTER XXIII</h2> + +<p>Dr. Gregg pulled up his trap and hailed the man who was stalking along +on the other side of the road.</p> + +<p>"Are you going my way, Grierson? Can I give you a lift? Right. Whoa, +mare, stand still. It's some time since I saw you, Grierson. Been away?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy, who was already climbing into the dog-cart, did not answer until +the question was repeated, then, "Yes," he said rather unwillingly. +"I've been over to Paris for two or three days."</p> + +<p>The doctor drew his ragged-looking grey eyebrows down until they formed +almost a straight line. "The old game," he growled.</p> + +<p>The young man was staring away over the hedge at the sweep of country +beyond, and replied without looking round. "Yes, as you say, the old +game—the inevitable game, if you like that better. The only difference +being that it was liqueur brandy this time instead of whisky."</p> + +<p>"Silly fool." The doctor was not noted for his gentle speech. "Silly +fool, you know what I told you, that it means death in your case, with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[Pg 207]</a></span> +perhaps a spell of lunacy first—that is, if you're not really a lunatic +already. You had better get some other medical man to attend you next +time." He slashed at an overhanging bough with his frayed old whip, and +apparently the action relieved him, for he went on in a very different +voice, "How's the book getting on? Is it published yet?"</p> + +<p>"It's coming out next week," Jimmy answered. "I got an advance copy +to-day. They've bound it and made it up rather nicely."</p> + +<p>The doctor nodded. "So they ought to. It's good stuff, but you would +never have written it at all if it hadn't been for me." The thought +seemed to bring back his grievances, for he went on querulously, "Why do +you always go to Paris or Brussels or some place like that? Can't you +find enough bad liquor and bad company in London, at far less cost?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy flushed. "Look here, Gregg," he began angrily, then broke off with +a bitter laugh. "I suppose I've no right to take offence at you, after +all. I never go to London, haven't been there for a year, I loathe the place."</p> + +<p>"Bad memories, eh?" The doctor jerked the words out as he guided his +horse past a big dray.</p> + +<p>"Bad memories," Jimmy assented wearily. "The worst of bad memories."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[Pg 208]</a></span></p><p>"That's the advantage of being a medical man." They had just passed the +dray and were coming to the outskirts of the little country town. "We +understand what it means, you see, and when a woman lets us down, we +don't make it worse, as you are doing. Oh, I know you didn't say +anything about a woman, but I know, too, that you meant one. It's a poor +compliment to her if she's any good, and if she isn't, why worry?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy did not answer, and the doctor changed the subject abruptly, as +was his way. "Did they tell you that Drylands, the big house close to +your cottage, was let at last? You'll have some society now. I hear +they're people who entertain a lot."</p> + +<p>"What is their name?" Jimmy demanded.</p> + +<p>"Something not unlike your own—Grimston, I think."</p> + +<p>Jimmy shrugged his shoulders. "Never heard of them, and, anyway, it +probably wouldn't affect me. The neighbourhood as a whole hasn't exactly +tumbled over itself in its anxiety to make my acquaintance."</p> + +<p>"That's your own fault," the doctor retorted. "You haven't given the +neighbourhood much encouragement to know you, although you would be +welcome enough. You're a surly brute in many ways, Grierson."</p> + +<p>"Thanks," Jimmy answered with a hard laugh.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[Pg 209]</a></span> "At least you're outspoken. +And now this is my destination, the news agent's shop. I'll try to +follow your professional advice—for as long as I can."</p> + +<p>The doctor grunted something unintelligible and drove on. It was market +day, and there were several farmers he wanted to interview before the +excitement, or the local ale, or a combination of both, rendered their +ideas a little more vague than at ordinary times.</p> + +<p class="center">* * * * *</p> + +<p>It was a year since Jimmy had taken the cottage a mile outside the +sleepy little town. He had gone there in the first place because it was +far removed from everyone and everything he knew, and in some ways the +experiment had proved a success. The deaf old woman who came in to do +his cooking and housework worried him little, and apparently did not +gossip about his actions or his habits; whilst the three rooms he had +furnished were more than sufficient for his needs.</p> + +<p>At first, on hearing of Joseph Fenton's legacy, he had thought of going +abroad again, of seeking oblivion of the past few months in travel and +excitement; but a chance remark of May's spoken at Joseph Fenton's +funeral, the only occasion on which he had met any of the Griersons +since the interview at Walter's office, had shown him that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[Pg 210]</a></span> the family +would welcome his departure, that it even regarded voluntary exile as +the proper course for him to take under the circumstances, and, if only +for that reason, he determined to stay. Probably he would have stayed in +any case, for, though he had cut himself adrift from Lalage, had never +seen her since she left London, and heard from her but seldom—brief, +gentle little notes which invariably made him break his promise to +her—all the old wild jealousy remained. It was torture whilst he was in +England, but he felt it would mean madness if there were the ocean +between them. His love for her was dead, or at least he told himself so, +that part of love which comes from the joy of possession, which brings +with it peace and courage, and a good comrade in the never-ending +struggle against fate; but the other part, the fear and the hopelessness +and the fever, remained with him always.</p> + +<p>Once, and once only, he had had Lalage watched. He had lain awake night +after night until his jealousy had culminated in his sending down a +private detective. He had read the report—which was wholly in her +favour, even the church working party of the village in which she was +living being unable to rake up any charge against her—with an +unutterable sense of shame and self-contempt, and then had thrust it +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[Pg 211]</a></span>hurriedly into the fire; but instead of bringing him peace it gave him +another memory to brood over, and at times to try and drown.</p> + +<p>Lalage's fears had only been too well founded. The locality was healthy +enough, the doctor had said with almost brutal frankness the first time +Jimmy had occasion to consult him; and then he had gone on to diagnose +his patient's case without mincing his words.</p> + +<p>"You don't show it outwardly, at least not to a layman, but any medical +man would see what was the matter with you. What makes you drink?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy had shrugged his shoulders, half-ashamed, half-irritated. "Habit, +I suppose," he had answered, whereupon the other had growled.</p> + +<p>"A confoundedly bad and stupid habit. The sooner you get some new ones +the better. You write, don't you? How do you expect to make a success of +it when you're sapping your brain power in this fool's way?"</p> + +<p>He had added a few more things, pointed and true, but none the less they +had parted good friends, and for a time Jimmy tried to fight his enemy, +remembering his promise to Lalage; but it was always the same in the +end. His black hour would come on him, and he would recall his great +treason, and tell himself bitterly that she had been<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[Pg 212]</a></span> the first to set +the example in the matter of broken faith.</p> + +<p>Whatever fears May might have had on the point—and the matter certainly +had worried her a good deal during the last twelve months—there had +never been any question of Jimmy going back to Lalage. True, he had +broken away from the Grierson tradition when he went to live at the +flat, had thrown that tradition to the winds, but still he had never +repudiated it openly, and in the end if he had not actually gone back to +his own people, at least he had recognised that the standards of his own +people were right. He was ashamed of himself, even more ashamed of +Lalage. He saw his conduct—and hers—in its true light, its stupidity, +and its immorality, and in the days following Joseph Fenton's death he +had reached the nadir of contrition and misery, and would have made +confession, and sought for absolution, had the family given him the +chance. He was in the mood for it, being run-down and broken-hearted. +But Joseph's death had altered the focus of things for the moment, +making Jimmy's affairs a secondary consideration, and after the reading +of the will, Joseph's legacy had effectually destroyed any hope of +peace, at least as far as Ida was concerned. Fenton had left, it is +true, nearly a hundred thousand to his wife, but<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[Pg 213]</a></span> the odd thousand to +Jimmy almost neutralised the generosity of his other bequests, at least +in Ida's sight, and Ida's personality dominated the whole family for the time being.</p> + +<p>Curiously enough, no one knew of Jimmy's last meeting with Joseph. At +first Jimmy had held his peace about it, not wishing in any way to add +to Ida's troubles; then, when he found that his own misdeeds were +supposed to have preyed on his brother-in-law's mind and hastened his +death, he continued to keep silence, in a kind of savage contempt. He, +at least, knew what Joseph's feelings had been, and all his sympathy and +all his regrets were for the dead man, and not for the saint, who, after +the manner of her kind, had understood nothing and forgiven nothing.</p> + +<p>Yet, none the less, he would gladly have made peace with the family, +just as May and Walter would have made peace with him, had Ida's +bitterness not rendered that so hard as to be almost impossible. She was +too good a woman to overlook his sin, or to allow anyone else to +overlook it. She believed in the punishment of the sinner, not in his +pardon, and she did not think that Jimmy had suffered enough; possibly +she believed that he had not suffered at all, for had he not in the end +received a thousand pounds which should, by rights, have gone to her own +children? So,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[Pg 214]</a></span> though he had repudiated Lalage to pacify his people, +and—it must be admitted also—to satisfy his own conscience, his only +reward had been a ghastly sense of isolation, both from his own world, +where the Grierson tradition rules, and from that other world into which +he had strayed for a few short never-to-be-forgotten months.</p> + +<p>Jimmy had turned a little grey during the last year, and the boyish +charm had gone out of his face. Alas! he had grown careless as regarded +his appearance, and he had ceased to trouble about a number of little +things on the observance of which Lalage had once insisted. He never +worried as to whether his boots were cleaned or no, and he only shaved +when he was going into the little town. After all, what did it matter? +He had no friends, and he wanted none; society, or at any rate women's +society, had ceased to be a factor in his life.</p> + +<p>On the other hand, success had come to him professionally, though it +meant very little to him, or very little compared with what it would +have meant in the London days, when half the income he was making now +would have seemed wealth. Joseph's legacy had allowed him breathing +space. He had quitted Fleet Street finally, abandoned all thought of +journalism, and gone in for the writing of short stories. Some quality +in the latter,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[Pg 215]</a></span> possibly the cynical outlook on life which coloured them +all, caught the fancy of editors accustomed to the milk-and-water +optimism of the average writer, and in a few months his work was not +only selling, but was actually in demand. Moreover, he had written a +novel, and, his luck still holding good, had placed it with the second +publisher to whom he offered it; but even that success had given him no +sense of elation; and, when he had come to read the proofs, he had found +himself wishing that he had put the manuscript into the fire. It was not +the book he had dreamed of doing, the book he had so often discussed +with Lalage. The doctor, who had also seen the proofs, thought highly of +it; the publisher was urging him to get on with another; but he, +himself, knew well that the book lacked something. He had been afraid to +give it life by drawing on his own experience. He had been so anxious +not to widen the breach with his family that he had ended by writing a +novel for Griersons. As Jimmy walked homewards after his meeting with +the doctor, he found himself wondering what Lalage would think of his +novel, whether she would feel pride, or grief, or contempt. Somehow, +although she had no part in his life now, he was more afraid of her +judgment than of that of anyone else. "Lalage's author," she had called +him in the old<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[Pg 216]</a></span> days, and she had always believed in him. "I know you +will write nice books for Lalage, by and by; because you're very, very +clever"—she had said so more than once, when he had seemed to be losing +heart over his work in the <i>Record</i> office. And now he had written the +book—in which Lalage had had no part. Unconsciously, he quickened his +pace, as if to get away from the thought, and, perhaps for that reason, +he did not notice a motor-car which was coming up behind him. When the +horn was sounded, he merely drew into the hedge and did not look round. +The car passed him, slowly on account of a flock of sheep which was +coming out of a gate a little way ahead, and he noted, without the +slightest sense of interest, that there were a couple of well-dressed +women in the tonneau; consequently, he was greatly surprised when one of +the women called to the driver to stop, then looked back, and beckoned +excitedly to himself.</p> + +<p>"Mr. Grierson, Mr. Grierson—Jimmy!" she cried.</p> + +<p>As he came up, she raised the heavy veil she was wearing, and he found +himself looking into the laughing eyes of Ethel Grimmer.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[Pg 217]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXIV" id="CHAPTER_XXIV"></a>CHAPTER XXIV</h2> + +<p>Mrs. Grimmer shook hands very cordially. "This is an unexpected +pleasure," she said. "Who would have dreamt of seeing you down here!" +then, without waiting for his explanation, she turned to her companion. +"Vera, you remember Mr. Grierson, don't you? May Marlow's brother. +Jimmy, I hope you haven't been so rude as to forget Miss Farlow. You met +her at our house, on that one visit you paid us, before you suddenly +went away and lost yourself."</p> + +<p>Jimmy flushed, and raised his hat again. He remembered the pretty, +rather prim-looking girl as the daughter of May's favourite rector, and +he remembered, too, Ethel's outspoken advice about his possible matrimonial plans.</p> + +<p>Vera Farlow bowed, a little severely, but Ethel Grimmer gave neither of +the others the chance to speak. "I've often asked May how you were +getting on, but she always seemed vague as to where you were. She said +you were living in the country in cottages, so as to be able to work +quietly; but I never, never thought of finding you down here. Do you +live in a cottage now; or<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[Pg 218]</a></span> have you made so much money out of those +nice, wicked stories of yours that you've bought a big house?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy laughed. "No, I've still got a cottage, the only cottage I ever +had. It's about half a mile from here."</p> + +<p>"How jolly! Do jump in now and come along with us. Then you shall tell +us all about the place and its people. We've just taken a furnished +house—Drylands, I suppose you know it?—to see if we like the +neighbourhood. If we do, Billy wants to build a nice place for +ourselves. He's going to retire from business at the end of the year. I +tell him it's better, for he can afford to, and if he stays in the City, +he'll only get stodgy, and perhaps lose his money. And now do come up +and have some tea with us, unless you're very busy, which I can't +understand you being. Billy won't be down till Saturday, and I persuaded +Vera to come with me, so that I shouldn't be too dull."</p> + +<p>Jimmy went with them willingly, and, even if he had wished to raise an +objection, Ethel Grimmer would have given him no hearing. She was +obviously delighted at the meeting; and, in the end, Jimmy stayed, not +only to tea, but to dinner as well.</p> + +<p>"Never mind about dressing," Ethel said. "Vera and I won't change +anyway—you see we<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[Pg 219]</a></span> only got down this morning—and it's so nice to meet +someone one knows."</p> + +<p>It was the first time since he had left town that Jimmy had mixed +socially with his own world, and he watched anxiously for anything which +would show whether Ethel knew about Lalage; but before dinner was over +he realised, with a sense of relief, amounting almost to gratitude, that +May and Ida had kept the knowledge of the scandal to the circle of the +family. Ethel was not even curious as to his reasons for avoiding the +Marlow house; detesting May cordially, she found it quite natural that +Jimmy should prefer to go his own way.</p> + +<p>Vera Farlow thawed considerably before the evening was over. She was a +well-read girl, and at home it was but seldom that she met any men who +had interests outside their business or their sports. Jimmy was an +entirely new type to her, and yet, as she was well aware, he belonged to +a family whose standing was above question. Had a man of whom she knew +nothing talked as Jimmy talked, she would probably have regarded him +with a certain degree of suspicion; but there was no question of that in +the case of Mrs. Marlow's brother. Jimmy, on his part, was distinctly +attracted—Ethel saw that long before he got up to take a reluctant +farewell; and being entirely<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[Pg 220]</a></span> loyal to her own husband, she felt not the +slightest jealousy of Vera Farlow; in fact, as she went upstairs that +evening she was wondering whether it might not be possible to turn the +scheme, which she had once propounded more or less in a spirit of +banter, into an accomplished fact. It would be a good thing for Jimmy, a +good thing for Vera, and, perhaps most important of all, it would annoy +May Marlow and Mrs. Fenton intensely. Ethel went to bed to dream of a +gorgeous wedding, in which she played the part of fairy godmother; and +she awoke next morning more than ever determined to arrange the match. +Vera had money, Jimmy had brains, and they both belonged to families of +position. She felt she almost owed it to Jimmy to find him a wife, +whilst Vera was her dearest girl friend. Billy would help, she knew +that. Billy always did what she told him, and though he sometimes +spoiled things by laughing at the wrong time, for which she scolded him +duly and without mercy, she knew he meant to do his best. His impending +retirement had been one of her greatest triumphs. She was sick to death +of the circle of City people, of what she flippantly called "Square +milers," and that had been the main reason she had given to her husband +in urging him to give up business and go into the country.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[Pg 221]</a></span></p><p>"Let's go amongst people who don't have to catch trains, Billy," she +had urged. "I'm sure you don't get half enough enjoyment out of life +now, going up to town every day," and Billy had finally given way, on +those grounds, never suspecting that at the back of her mind was always +the fear of his being drawn into speculation and coming to grief. He was +not very brilliant. Ethel knew that well, and she knew, too, what +measure of sympathy the City has for those who fail.</p> + +<p>The night he dined at Drylands, Jimmy barely thought of Lalage. He was +excited, and yet, at the same time, conscious of a feeling of +restfulness, somewhat akin to that he had experienced when he first saw +the shores of England on his return from South America. Once again, it +seemed as if he had been a long time in the wilderness, and was getting +back to his own people at last. Vera Farlow was of those who stand above +suspicion. It was impossible to picture her knowing anything about life +in a flat; and, whilst the memory of the past gave him a momentary sense +of shame, this was quickly put aside. It was all dead, done with; and, +if any women had a part in his future, they would be those like Vera +Farlow, women whom the Grierson family would accept and respect.</p> + +<p>When he turned in, Jimmy helped himself to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[Pg 222]</a></span> one whisky, and one only, +instead of the usual three or four, or even more, which he took when a +fit of sleeplessness was on him. After all, old Dr. Gregg had been +right. He was playing a fool's game. He awoke in the morning feeling +much fresher than usual, and fully determined to call at Drylands on +some excuse or other. As a rule, he was not down till after the postman +had called; but on this occasion he met that worthy at the front door.</p> + +<p>"Fine morning, sir. Three for you to-day," the official said.</p> + +<p>Jimmy took the letters and glanced at the addresses. One he crumpled up +and tossed unopened into the waste paper basket, recognising the +envelope of a press-cutting bureau, which circularised him regularly +once a fortnight; but he looked at the others with a frown, for though +the first was from Kelly, whose letters were always welcome, the +remaining one had been addressed to his club in Lalage's unmistakable handwriting.</p> + +<p>For a moment, Jimmy handled the letters with an air of hesitation; then, +as though he feared some shock, and wanted to brace himself up to meet +it, he went to the decanter and poured out some whisky, which he +swallowed neat; yet, even then, he opened Kelly's letter first. There +proved to be nothing special in it—congratulations on his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[Pg 223]</a></span> book, some +caustic comments on Fleet Street and its ways, and the always-repeated +invitation to come to town, and stay with Kelly and his wife.</p> + +<p>"My wife says she feels sure you must be in love with someone down +there, otherwise you could never stand the dulness of the country after +town; but I always say that your fate is to marry into a solid City +family, now that you have missed going to the other extreme."</p> + +<p>Jimmy frowned as he read the last sentence. He had never given Kelly a +hint, and no one else could have told him. Possibly, it was the thought +of that which worried him, and made him turn to the decanter again; at +any rate, he had another whisky before he opened Lalage's letter. It had +been very different in the early days of their acquaintance; then, he +had torn the envelopes open eagerly, and almost learnt the contents by +heart before he thought of his other correspondence.</p> + +<p>Jimmy had never given Lalage his address. All her letters went to the +club, whilst those he wrote to her he sent on under cover to one of the +waiters, who posted them in town. He, himself, never understood his own +reasons for this caution. It was not because he feared her blackmailing +him—even in his most bitter moments he had never thought of that; and +he knew her too well to be afraid she might pay him a visit unasked<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">[Pg 224]</a></span> in +the hope of recapturing his affection; but probably it was due to some +vague feeling that it kept them further apart in spirit, helped to +preserve the barrier between them. Not that she had ever attempted to +break that barrier down. On the other hand, she seemed to have accepted +his decision as right, or at any rate as unalterable, and at times that +was the most horrible part of all to him, for it suggested the +possibility of someone succeeding him in her love, and, as she had long +since declined to take any more money from him, he had no right to control her.</p> + +<p>Lalage wrote from a little Yorkshire town, nearly two hundred miles +distant from Jimmy. "You know I told you I had a post as nurse-companion +to an old invalid lady. I am very grieved to say she died about three +weeks ago. She was the sweetest, best woman I ever met; she took me +without references, because she said she liked my face; and I really +believe her greatest sorrow at dying was due to the thought that she +could leave me nothing. All she had was a small annuity. Yet, in another +way, I was fortunate; for almost at once I got a situation in a draper's +shop, the only drapers here. It is not very much to boast of, I know; +but still I am making my own living honestly, and it is the sort of +place where one can stay all one's life. I am looking at the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">[Pg 225]</a></span> papers +every day to see if your book is out. I do wish you the best of success +with it, Jimmy," and then, without any conventional phrase before it, +came the simple signature, "Lalage."</p> + +<p>Jimmy did not touch his breakfast that morning. Instead, he sat very +still, staring out of the window, trying to picture Lalage—who had once +been his Lalage—serving behind the counter in a stuffy little draper's +shop. "The sort of place where you can stay all your life." Would she, +could she, stand the idea of such a future? Would she go on alone +always, whilst he would be getting on in the world, climbing the ladder +to such fame as novelists get in these days of many novels, getting back +into his own world, and possibly——?</p> + +<p>There was a knock at the front door, and as if in confirmation of his +thought, he found the Grimmer chauffeur standing on the step.</p> + +<p>"Note for you, sir," he said.</p> + +<p>Jimmy tore it open. "Vera and I are going for a run round the country," +Ethel wrote. "Will you come with us?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy turned round to the hat rack and took down his cap and overcoat.</p> + +<p>"Have you brought the car down for me?" he asked.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">[Pg 226]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXV" id="CHAPTER_XXV"></a>CHAPTER XXV</h2> + +<p>Mr. Grimmer looked up with a grin. "I don't know what the old joker will +say if you bring your scheme to a head," he remarked.</p> + +<p>Ethel, who was standing in front of the fireplace, smoking daintily, +tried hard to look shocked.</p> + +<p>"My dear Billy," she drawled. "That is hardly the way to speak of an +Honorary Canon who expects to become a bishop, if his father-in-law +lives long enough to get into another Cabinet. Then, for one thing, +Jimmy won't propose for some time yet, not until Vera has been away and +come back again; and when they are engaged what can the old joker, as +you call him, do to me?"</p> + +<p>"He might preach about you," her husband suggested.</p> + +<p>Ethel shrugged her shoulders. "I shouldn't be there to hear him; it +would make May Marlow blush and send that hateful Ida Fenton white with +passion. By the way, did I tell you that Ida had taken a house in town? +They think she's going to be married again, to that horrid, clean-shaven +man with the damp hands, who's always <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_227" id="Page_227">[Pg 227]</a></span>collecting for some mission or +other. You must know him, Billy. Surely you do; we used to call him the +Additional Curate. Well, to go back to Jimmy. He wouldn't give Vera up, +and her money is under her own control."</p> + +<p>"He had to give you up," Grimmer said.</p> + +<p>His wife laughed. "He never had me to give up, really. Besides, I hardly +knew you then, Billy, so it didn't count, did it?... Billy, you must not +behave in that ridiculous way; you have crushed my flowers, and the gong +will go in a moment."</p> + +<p>It was a fortnight since Jimmy had met Ethel Grimmer again, and during +that time he had not written a line. Every day, and often twice a day, +he had been up at Drylands, at first, because Ethel had insisted on his +attendance; and latterly, because it seemed the natural thing to do. His +original feeling had been one of sincere relief at the break in the +monotony of his exile, and he had been equally glad to see both Vera and +Ethel; but after a while Ethel seemed to become almost uninteresting by +comparison with the younger woman. He was not passionately in love, as +he had been with Lalage. The thought of Vera gave him no sleepless +nights. In fact, now he slept far better than he had done for many +months past. He had a sense of restfulness to which he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_228" id="Page_228">[Pg 228]</a></span> had long been a +stranger, as though he had taken some mental opiate to soothe the pain +of remembrance. London, and the flat, and the grinding drudgery of Fleet +Street, the miserable little creditors worrying at the door—all these +seemed now to belong to some former existence, to be part of the life of +a different Jimmy Grierson. Vera knew nothing of such things; and, in +her society, he himself managed to forget them.</p> + +<p>Lalage's letter was still unanswered. Day after day he meant to write; +but, somehow, there was never time. He wanted to think it over +carefully, he kept on telling himself, and then deliberately turned his +mind to something else.</p> + +<p>He had smartened himself up considerably so far as appearance went. +True, once or twice, it gave him a twinge of remorse when he found that +he was doing again the very things on which Lalage had insisted with +gentle patience in those now-distant days, observing little conventions +which he had dropped during his sojourn abroad, and had lately dropped +anew. Then, too, he was drinking far less. He did not need the spirit +now to bring him oblivion, and he did want to keep his hand steady and +his eye clear. Vera had once spoken very strongly on the subject of +intemperance, which she knew only in theory; and Jimmy had listened to +her words with respectful <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_229" id="Page_229">[Pg 229]</a></span>contrition. She would never forgive a man who +drank, she said, and he had gone a little cold at the thought. Yet, +forgetting that Lalage had known of his failing, and had tried to help +him fight his demon, he told himself that Vera's was the right view for +a girl of her position. She was too good and pure to come into contact +with the ugly things of life.</p> + +<p>Already, he had made up his mind to ask her to marry him, later on, when +she came back from a promised visit of indefinite duration. There was no +hurry, Ethel had told him so frankly, no other suitor being in the +running. At first, the thought of the past troubled him a little, in the +abstract, as a kind of treason to Vera; but, after a while, he put that +thought aside. She need never know, and Lalage had gone out of his life now.</p> + +<p>His book had been published a week, and the one or two reviews which had +appeared had been satisfactory, almost flattering, though one reviewer +apparently voiced the general opinion when he said, "Mr. Grierson seems +anxious to uphold the conventions of modern society, and yet he writes +of them without conviction, as though he would like to believe in them, +and could not manage to do so."</p> + +<p>Vera had frowned over the notice. "What rubbish, Mr. Grierson. It is as +much as to say<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_230" id="Page_230">[Pg 230]</a></span> that you would write one of the nasty kind of book, if +you dared. I think yours is very, very good and perfectly sincere." +Whereupon Jimmy had gone home well pleased, feeling that, at last, he +was receiving absolution, if not from his own family, at least from his own people.</p> + +<p>When Vera went back to town, Ethel deputed Jimmy to see her off at the +station, alleging that she herself had a headache.</p> + +<p>"It's only <i>au revoir</i>," Jimmy said, as he shook hands at the railway +carriage door.</p> + +<p>Miss Farlow smiled brightly. "That's all. I am coming down again very +soon. Father is going away for a couple of months' holiday; and, as he +is taking my younger sister, Florence, Ethel has made me promise to come +down here. She is awfully good-hearted, isn't she?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy nodded emphatically. "She is indeed. One of the best I know."</p> + +<p>As the train steamed out of the station, he stood a full minute deep in +thought, staring at it until it disappeared round a slight curve; then +he turned to find the doctor watching him with a grim smile.</p> + +<p>"Hullo, Grierson," the old man said. "I've hardly seen you lately, only +caught glimpses of you whizzing past in a motor, surrounded by +millinery." Then he scanned the other's face <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_231" id="Page_231">[Pg 231]</a></span>critically. "You're +looking better. Found the cure for it, eh? I always thought that both +the reason and the remedy would prove to wear skirts."</p> + +<p>Jimmy flushed awkwardly. He did not altogether admire Dr. Gregg's +frankness; and yet he was grateful for the implied testimony to his +reformation, so he answered with a laugh, and, after a few minutes' +conversation, willingly consented to go up to dinner at the doctor's +that night. After all, it would be dull alone in the cottage, and he +knew that Ethel would not want him, as she, too, was dining out.</p> + +<p>The doctor was an old bachelor, or at least the town assumed him to be +one. True, when he had first bought the practice, thirty years +previously, he had made no definite statement on the matter; and, for a +time, people had shaken their heads, and, on that purely negative +evidence, had done what they called "drawing their own conclusions." His +wife had run away from him, and they would hear of her one day, in +connection with some scandal, and she would allege, and probably prove, +that he had ill-used her. However, as months went by, and they did not +hear—in fact they never heard anything—they admitted they had been +wrong, and began to pity him as the husband of an incurable lunatic, who +was confined in an asylum near London. But even that story had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_232" id="Page_232">[Pg 232]</a></span> died a +lingering death from sheer want of nourishment, and long before Jimmy +had appeared in the neighbourhood, even the mothers' meetings had ceased +to discuss the doctor's private affairs. He was just the gruff and +well-beloved friend of everyone in the place, a man of whom even the +preacher in the Peculiar People's chapel spoke with respect.</p> + +<p>"Old friends of yours at Drylands, after all?" the doctor asked +abruptly, as they sat smoking in his study after dinner.</p> + +<p>Jimmy nodded. "Yes, you got the name wrong, you see, and, naturally, I +didn't recognise it. I've known the Grimmers, or at least Mrs. Grimmer, all my life."</p> + +<p>"It's a bad thing to get out of touch with people you know," the other +went on. "A very bad thing. Never have a family quarrel, if you can +avoid it, Grierson, or, rather, never have another."</p> + +<p>"How do you know I have had one?" Jimmy demanded.</p> + +<p>The old man smiled. "You've as good as told me so, a score of times. Bad +things family quarrels. After all, your relations are your own flesh and blood."</p> + +<p>Jimmy did not answer; latterly, he had begun to realise the truth of +what the other was saying; and he knew more than ever the value of peace.</p> + +<p>For a little while they smoked in silence, then,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_233" id="Page_233">[Pg 233]</a></span> "How did you happen to +light on this town in the first instance?" the doctor asked.</p> + +<p>"I hardly know myself," Jimmy answered. "I wanted some quiet place, and +someone—I have never been able to remember who it was—had once +mentioned it to me as the ideal spot. The name had stuck in my memory, +so I came down here on chance and liked it from the first. I must say, +though, I've found it dull at times."</p> + +<p>"No place is dull when you know it well enough," the old man retorted. +"Yes, I mean it. You, as a writer, ought to understand that. It's only +dull if you make it so for yourself by being out of sympathy with its +people.... How's the book getting on?"</p> + +<p>"Pretty well, I believe. The publishers say they're quite satisfied with +it for a first novel. One doesn't expect to make a big splash at the start."</p> + +<p>"Some never make a splash at all, even though they do good work. I knew +one." The doctor shook his head sadly. "He lived in this town, only a +few doors from here. He used to write scientific books, and was admitted +to be the best man in England on his own subject; yet he got more and +more hard up all the time. I don't know what he and his daughter really +did live on for the last year or two. It ended in something very<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_234" id="Page_234">[Pg 234]</a></span> like a +tragedy. Ah, it was a bad business, a terrible business," and he sighed heavily.</p> + +<p>Jimmy's lips seemed suddenly to have become dry and hard; but his voice +was almost normal as he asked, "What was it, doctor?"</p> + +<p>The old man began to fill a pipe with rather exaggerated care. "It was +the daughter," he answered, without looking up. "She was a sweet girl, +the best, most unselfish girl I ever knew; but curiously young in many +ways, dangerously young—you understand? She had been brought up alone +with him—no woman to tell her things. That's bad. Confound it all, +sir,"—he raised his voice in a sudden explosion of wrath,—"parents +have no right to keep their girls in ignorance. It's criminal +negligence; at least it was in this case. They were desperately poor, +and he was dying; wanted all sorts of things." He paused again and made +a show of lighting his pipe, but the match burnt out ineffectually, then +he went on. "They hadn't a shilling, and none of the tradesmen would +trust them. And a man, a young scoundrel belonging to this very town, +offered her ten pounds to go away with him for a couple of days, showed +her the gold.... What was that?" he demanded quickly as Jimmy's pipe +stem snapped suddenly in his hands.</p> + +<p>Jimmy himself had shifted slightly, so that the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_235" id="Page_235">[Pg 235]</a></span> lamplight did not fall +on his face; but the old man was not looking at him as he resumed his story.</p> + +<p>"She said she was going to town, to beg his publishers for money, and +he, luckily, died believing it. But someone else had seen her; and the +women hunted her out. She fled to London, no money, no friends, and you +can guess what must have happened. Poor child!"</p> + +<p>"What happened to the man?" Jimmy asked in a voice which made the doctor +give a grim little nod of approval as he answered:</p> + +<p>"I felt that way myself. He abandoned her like a skunk, and his people +threw the blame on her for tempting him. Tempting him! He had a motor +smash soon after, and I tried my utmost to pull him through, because he +would have been a hideously disfigured cripple; but he died, and I never +regretted a patient more."</p> + +<p>Jimmy got up abruptly. He knew now who it was who had mentioned that +town to him, and unconsciously sent him to live there. He had not the +slightest doubt in his own mind what the answer would be when he asked:</p> + +<p>"What was their name?"</p> + +<p>"Penrose," the doctor answered. "She was Lalage Penrose."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_236" id="Page_236">[Pg 236]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXVI" id="CHAPTER_XXVI"></a>CHAPTER XXVI</h2> + +<p>Jimmy's mind was in a fever as he walked home that night; in fact, he +felt it would be useless to try to sleep, so he went on, past the +cottage, past Drylands, where the lights were all out, right to the next +village, three miles away. But whilst he stalked along he gradually grew +calmer. Things seemed to become simpler, more easy to bear, and to +understand. He saw Lalage now in a different light, and he felt that, as +her character was partially cleared, so, in some subtle way, his own sin +became less, and he need no longer have any compunction about asking +Vera Farlow to be his wife.</p> + +<p>True, for one wild moment, his old love for Lalage seemed to surge up +within him; but he was passing Drylands on his way back at the time, +and, as he glanced at the windows, the Grierson strain in him asserted +itself triumphantly. He might pity and forgive Lalage; but his wife must +be one whom he could take anywhere, introduce anywhere; there must be no +horrible fear of the past coming to light again, and, possibly ruining, +not only his own career, but that of his children<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_237" id="Page_237">[Pg 237]</a></span> as well. He thought +of Lalage tenderly, but almost with condescension; and, when he turned +in finally, Vera Farlow—who belonged to the Grierson world—was +uppermost in his mind. Consequently, he slept well and awoke, not to +brood over what Dr. Gregg had told him, but to speculate on a future in +which Vera should play the main part.</p> + +<p>Vera had money of her own, Jimmy knew that, and, unquestionably, the +fact weighed with him, not from a sordid point of view, but because it +made the risks of marriage so much smaller. There would be no fear of +his wife being left penniless, dependent on the charity of relatives. As +for his own prospects, he was inclined to take a rosy view of them. He +had made a good start, and that, as he was well aware, was more than +half the battle. Another year, and he ought to be earning enough to +justify him in marrying.</p> + +<p>It would be very pleasant to have his own house, a permanent home. Vera +had plenty of friends, and he knew that there were many others who would +be glad enough to meet the rising author. They would soon have a +position, especially if, as seemed probable, Canon Farlow did get the +first vacant bishopric.</p> + +<p>Jimmy had not much fear as to what Vera's answer would be. They had got +to know one <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_238" id="Page_238">[Pg 238]</a></span>another very well in that fortnight at Drylands, and much +of her almost prim reserve had already disappeared. She was twenty-five, +or thereabouts, quite old enough to know her own mind, and it was not +likely that her father, having three other unmarried daughters on his +hands, would offer any serious objection. May, too, would probably be +pleased when she came to look at the matter in the right light, because, +as he told himself with a cynical little smile, it would prove that the +Lalage episode was definitely at an end. And then, for a moment, he +thought of Lalage again, the Lalage of whom the doctor had told him, +young, almost childish in her inexperience, sacrificing her innocence +for the sake of her dying father. Suddenly he got up, feeling half +choked. If only that man had not died after the motor smash, if only he +had lived to suffer.</p> + +<p>He walked up and down the little room several times, trying to regain +his self-control, trying to put Lalage out of his mind, and to think +only of Vera. But it was impossible. Phrases the doctor had used seemed +to be engraved on his memory. Almost against his will, he found himself +repeating them, and with them came a mental picture of Lalage's pitiful +shame and grief when the real meaning of what she had done came home to +her. And then the horror of it, the crowning tragedy<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_239" id="Page_239">[Pg 239]</a></span> of it all—her +father had died in the end, and she had been driven to the streets of London.</p> + +<p>He had thought he had forgotten, and now he found he remembered +everything. He could see her with the mud squelching through her shoes, +friendless, penniless, homeless, without either references or +experience, tramping hour after hour in the rain, standing outside the +shop window where the big kitchen stoves were on exhibition, trying to +imagine that some of the heat from the fires was reaching her numbed +body; and then someone spoke to her—oh, it was all too hideous.</p> + +<p>He had intended putting in a hard day's work, starting a new novel, but +there could be no question of that now. He picked up the morning paper +and tried to read that, but, somehow, the pages seemed to be one huge +blurr, and, when the letters did come into line, they always formed the +word "Lalage." At last, in sheer desperation, he took his hat, shut up +the cottage, and went into the town. In the smoking-room of the +principal hotel, he met several men he knew slightly. As a rule, he +would merely have nodded to them, but now the old craving for +companionship was on him again, and he greeted them cordially, whilst, +instead of the one drink he had intended to take, he had so many that he +lost count. When,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_240" id="Page_240">[Pg 240]</a></span> at last, he did come out, he was still sober so far +as external appearance went; and yet perhaps because the sunlight was +bright whilst the smoking-room had been dark, he failed to notice a +carriage containing a couple of ladies whom he had met at Drylands. They +bowed to him, and then, when he did not raise his hat, exchanged meaning glances.</p> + +<p>The elder, Mrs. Richards, wife of a local magnate, put their thoughts +into words. "We caught sight of him going in there two hours ago, and +now he cannot see us. I had heard a rumour that there was that especial +failing, but I had hoped it wasn't true. Now, however——" She was a +kindly-natured woman, and she broke off with a sigh.</p> + +<p>Her companion nodded. "I wonder if that nice Miss Farlow knows. Mrs. +Grimmer hinted that an engagement was quite possible, and I think +someone ought to warn the girl. It would be a dreadful thing if she +found out too late."</p> + +<p>Jimmy's outbreak was, however, of very short duration. Even as he walked +back to the cottage Vera's influence, or rather, the thought of all that +marriage with Vera would mean, reasserted itself, and the memory of +Lalage began to grow dim again. After all, what was the good of making +himself miserable about the dead past? It could<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_241" id="Page_241">[Pg 241]</a></span> not be changed, and so +the best thing to do was to try and forget it, as far as possible. It +was but a very poor compliment to Vera if, only the day after her +departure, his mind was full of another woman.</p> + +<p>He might pity Lalage, but he was not going to let the remembrance of her +ruin his future. He had a prospect now of regaining what he had lost +when he first met her, and he would be a fool to imperil that prospect +by mere foolish sentiment. Moreover, he would leave that wretched whisky +alone; it was a weak and idiotic habit to drink as he had been drinking, +and the knowledge of it would shock Vera terribly. Men in her world, +which was, after all, his own world too, did not do those things. He saw +it now. Before the Grimmers came down it had been different. For a time, +he had lost all ambition, all sense of self-respect; but contact with +Ethel and Vera had changed all that, had brought out the dormant +Grierson instincts, the passion for order and respectability, and the +comforts of life, and he had grown to detest the old mode of existence.</p> + +<p>One thing was certain; before he proposed to Vera he must break off all +correspondence with Lalage. He told himself so, several times, and tried +to think out the letter he would write. He would send her a cheque for a +fair amount, so<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_242" id="Page_242">[Pg 242]</a></span> that she would have a reserve fund, and then—he would +never hear of her again, never know if she were alive or dead, if she +had enough food, or even if she were married. Suddenly, that same queer, +choking sensation came back, and he got up quickly as if wanting air. He +seemed to hear Lalage's cry on that most ghastly day of his life: "I did +it all for you, Jimmy. I did it all for you."</p> + +<p>And so, in the end, he compromised with his conscience, and wrote her a +briefer letter than usual. Possibly, he might have been surprised had he +known that Lalage cried herself to sleep over that same letter, though +next day, and for many days after, until she heard again, she carried it +in her dress through the long hours of drudgery in the little shop, and +slept with it under her pillow at night. Jimmy's hand had touched that +precious slip of paper.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_243" id="Page_243">[Pg 243]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXVII" id="CHAPTER_XXVII"></a>CHAPTER XXVII</h2> + +<p>Jimmy's engagement to Vera Farlow was an accomplished fact.</p> + +<p>"You have got to thank me for it all, Jimmy," Ethel said, when he came +to her for congratulations. "You would certainly never have done it +alone. In fact, once or twice lately I have been afraid that my +suggestions and advice were going to be wasted after all. Yet, I don't +quite know what to think of you, even now." She put her head on one side +and surveyed him critically.</p> + +<p>"What do you mean?" he asked, smiling.</p> + +<p>Ethel laughed. "I've known you to make love more ardently. Oh, yes. I +have a very good memory. Still, I won't tell Vera. And now I'm going to +write to your sister May and gloat over her. Of course I shall gloat, +because I suggested getting you married off when we first heard you were +coming home, and May got furious with me. Will you write too?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy shook his head. "No, yours will do, at least for a start. I've got +to write to Canon Farlow. Vera says he won't be home from Switzerland +for another week. Otherwise, I would have gone to see him."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_244" id="Page_244">[Pg 244]</a></span></p><p>"He's rather an old stick, if I may say that of your beloved's father," +Ethel went on. "You will find that out, and his sermons are very long, +so don't live in his parish if you can help it. You'll have plenty of +church in any case, you poor Jimmy."</p> + +<p>"Why 'poor Jimmy,' when you've just been congratulating me?"</p> + +<p>Ethel gave an impatient little sigh. "I don't know, I'm sure. Now I've +done it I'm wondering if I was right. It's a big responsibility, and you +may both end by hating me ever after. Promise me you won't, Jimmy, do +promise that." Her voice had grown unusually earnest, and her eyes were +suspiciously bright.</p> + +<p>"Of course I promise, Ethel," he said gravely. "But I don't think there +is much fear of my feeling anything except gratitude."</p> + +<p>But Mrs. Grimmer was not satisfied. "I wish I had left it alone. I don't +know how it is, but you're not the old Jimmy any longer, and I can't +understand you. You're not half as happy as you ought to be under the +circumstances. Now, are you?"</p> + +<p>He protested vigorously against the idea, and yet he left her so +entirely unconvinced that, instead of going to Vera, she sought out her +husband and had a good cry on his shoulder.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_245" id="Page_245">[Pg 245]</a></span></p><p>"I ought not to have done it, Billy," she sobbed. "If anything goes +wrong when it's too late, Jimmy will take it to heart so terribly. I +wish I wasn't responsible, but I am, and I can't deny it."</p> + +<p>Billy tried to comfort her. "My dear, they seem happy enough over it. I +know Vera is very grateful to you."</p> + +<p>Ethel shrugged her shoulders. "Vera! Oh, she would be happy, because she +doesn't feel very deeply. She never did about anything. It was always +the same with her when she was a child. But Jimmy is different. He's not in love."</p> + +<p>"Then why did he propose?" Billy retorted. "Was it her money?"</p> + +<p>"No, no," Ethel repudiated the idea emphatically. "Jimmy is not that +sort. I think he proposed because he's been very miserable over +something, and Vera took his thoughts off his other troubles. But he +won't be happy."</p> + +<p>There was no mistaking the conviction in her voice, and, for a moment, +even her husband was moved out of his usual good-humoured complacency; +but he soon recovered and tried to laugh away her fears, without, +however, achieving much success. She was not in a mood to be reassured, +although she contrived to put on a smiling face when she met the newly +engaged pair at dinner.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_246" id="Page_246">[Pg 246]</a></span></p><p>Vera was a little inclined to blush, but obviously happy. Jimmy, on the +other hand, was by turns silent, almost moody, and then feverishly +talkative. Vera seemed to notice nothing amiss—possibly she put it down +to natural excitement—but Ethel watched him with anxiety, which she +tried hard to conceal. As she said, the whole thing was her doing. She +had engineered it carefully, and she was, at least in matters like +these, a clever woman. True, once or twice, she felt a slight misgiving, +but she had made up her mind to succeed, and had brushed her fears +aside. Only when Jimmy came with the news that her scheme had become an +accomplished fact did she realise that match-making is a dangerous +occupation. He neither looked nor spoke like a lover who had just been +accepted, but rather like a man who sees the crisis of his life a little +way ahead of him, and is fearful of his own capacity to pass through it.</p> + +<p>Vera was quite satisfied with Jimmy's farewell kiss. Had there been +passion in it she might have been frightened; but, as it was, the caress +he gave her seemed very sweet. She was very proud of this lover of hers, +of his undoubted cleverness, his good looks, and his powers of +conversation. It would be very pleasant to see his name on all the +bookstalls, to know that almost every other girl of her acquaintance +would envy her the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_247" id="Page_247">[Pg 247]</a></span>possession of her author. So far, she had hardly +thought of marriage and its responsibilities; all that part seemed a +long way off, in the distant future, and, for the moment, she thought +only of the engagement. But as Jimmy walked home in the moonlight, Vera +Farlow was hardly in his mind at all; he was thinking of other kisses he +had given and received, and, try as he would, he could not drive out a +horrible feeling that, every time his lips touched Vera's, he was being +unfaithful to Lalage. It was absurd, wholly ridiculous, he told himself +so savagely; but still a sense of shame and ingratitude remained. +Lalage, who had suffered so much, and, as he realised now, had suffered, +too, for him, was in that shop, the sort of place where one could spend +one's whole life, and he was going to marry Vera Farlow, and cut the +last slender link between himself and the girl he had once loved, was +going to make her a last present, of money, and ask her not to write again.</p> + +<p>Jimmy let himself into the cottage, fully determined to go through with +the task there and then, to write the letter almost before he had time +to think, and to post it immediately. Yet dawn found him still sitting +at his desk with a pile of cigarette ends and an empty decanter on the +tray, and a blank sheet of paper in front of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_248" id="Page_248">[Pg 248]</a></span> him. At last, he got up +with a sigh, extinguished the lamp, and stumbled wearily to bed. It was +not that the spirit had affected him—he felt he would have given +anything to have it do so—but he was utterly exhausted mentally, and, +the moment he lay down, he went into a heavy, dreamless sleep, which +lasted until ten o'clock.</p> + +<p>When Jimmy awakened in the morning the first thing he remembered was +that he had promised to meet Vera at eleven. He would have no time for +breakfast, but that did not trouble him, as he would have eaten nothing +in any case. His meal, however, was not the only matter which would have +to be left over. He would only have just sufficient time to shave and +dress and walk up to Drylands; consequently, as he told himself with an +undeniable sense of relief, his letter to Lalage must be put off until +the evening, if not until the following day.</p> + +<p>Vera did not seem to notice anything unusual in his appearance, or, if +she did, she made no remark on it; but when they met Ethel a little +later, that lady scanned his face anxiously, and took the first +opportunity of calling him aside.</p> + +<p>"You didn't sleep, Jimmy. You're worrying about something," she said, bluntly.</p> + +<p>Jimmy made a rather unsuccessful attempt to laugh. "I'm taking on +responsibilities," he said.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_249" id="Page_249">[Pg 249]</a></span> "I realise it now, and the letter to Canon +Farlow is still unwritten, although I must do it before the afternoon +post goes out. Vera had better help me, I think. Did you write to May?"</p> + +<p>"Last night, after you had gone," Ethel answered. "It went by the +nine-thirty this morning, so May will know before she goes to bed +to-night." Then she went back to the subject of himself. "What is it you +are worrying about, Jimmy? Is it anything that I can help you with?"</p> + +<p>He shook his head. "There's no trouble, really there isn't. What can +there be? Vera and I both know our own minds, and in another year's time +I ought to be making a decent income. You will be able to point us out +proudly as a couple whose happiness you secured."</p> + +<p>He tried to speak lightly, but he did not convince her in the least; +though she put on a smile when Vera came out again.</p> + +<p>"Jimmy hasn't written to your father yet, Vera," she said. "You had +better take him into the library now, and make him do it at once, or +else he'll keep on putting it off. I know his ways of old. He lacks all +his family's instinct for business-like promptitude. Now, his brother +Walter probably had all such letters ready, or at least drafted out, +before he proposed. Jimmy has<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_250" id="Page_250">[Pg 250]</a></span> none of the Grierson ways, as May will +doubtless tell you."</p> + +<p>Vera frowned slightly. Sometimes Ethel's flippant speech jarred on her a +little. Family matters are treated as serious things in the household of +a canon who has relatives possessing influence; moreover, it was by no +means pleasant to be told that Jimmy was different from the Griersons. +It was almost an implied slur on his respectability. However, before she +had time to make any protest, Ethel had moved off, and Jimmy changed the +current of her thoughts by suggesting that the letter to Canon Farlow +had better be written at once, and she led the way into the library, +well pleased at the idea.</p> + +<p>Possibly because the letter to Lalage would be so terribly difficult to +compose, Jimmy found that to his future father-in-law comparatively +easy. There was not much feeling in it perhaps—even Vera, who read it +with partial eyes, could not help noting the fact—but, after all, it +was in a sense a matter of business; and so she was able to find +consolation in its clear, incisive phrasing. She was glad when it was +finished, more glad still when they had strolled down to the pillar box +outside the gates, and dropped the envelope in it. Their relations were +on a definite footing now, and she had little doubt that her father +would<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_251" id="Page_251">[Pg 251]</a></span> be well pleased. Of course, Jimmy was still a poor man; he had +been perfectly frank on that point; but still he was making a name, and, +as he said, he would now have a still stronger incentive to work. +Altogether, she was quite satisfied with her prospects, and convinced +that she had done a wise thing in saying "Yes." Perhaps, somewhere at +the back of her mind, there was sense of disappointment, a feeling that +both she and her lover were wanting in enthusiasm; but, if she did +experience anything of the sort, she crushed it down resolutely, knowing +well that passion is closely allied to wickedness, if it is not even a +form of wickedness. She had been taught from childhood that sentiment is +of necessity either sinful or ridiculous, and that the basis of a +successful marriage—which was her people's phrase for a happy +marriage—is equality of position, combined with business instincts on +the part of the man. People in her world lived to get on; it was a +sacred duty with them; failure to do so was discreditable, almost +criminal, as she had often heard her mother say when engaged in district +visiting amongst the homes of the improvident poor. Jimmy would get on, +she fully believed that, especially when he had a sensible wife to help +him; moreover, he was both good looking and sweet natured; consequently, +she told herself that he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_252" id="Page_252">[Pg 252]</a></span> was all she could have wished for. It had +never occurred to her that he might have a past, because neither the +Griersons, nor the Farlows, nor anyone in their world, ever had such +things. They seemed to live in a monotonous present of negative virtue, +wholly safe and solid. So she had asked him no questions, and he had +volunteered no confessions.</p> + +<p>The day passed all too quickly for Jimmy, too quickly, not because he +was revelling in the society of his fiancée, but because each hour +brought him nearer the moment when he must write that final letter to +Lalage. He stayed later than usual, so late that Ethel had a hard task +to hide her yawns; but when, at last, he did go back to the cottage, he +made no attempt to carry out what had now become the most hateful task of his life.</p> + +<p>"It will do in the morning," he muttered as he turned out the lamp.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_253" id="Page_253">[Pg 253]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXVIII" id="CHAPTER_XXVIII"></a>CHAPTER XXVIII</h2> + +<p>May looked up from Ethel's letter with a little cry of indignation. +"Jimmy is engaged to Vera Farlow, Henry! Did you ever hear of such a +thing! It seems the Grimmers have been staying quite close to Jimmy's +cottage, and Ethel had Vera down on purpose—at least I'm sure she did. +I had no idea they had met Jimmy. He never mentioned it in his last +letter, nor did Ethel when I met her in town."</p> + +<p>Henry Marlow had put down the evening paper and was staring at his wife +solemnly. He scented trouble, possibly unpleasantness, and he was by no +means sure what course he would be expected to take. Had they been alone +it would have been different; but Ida was staying with them, and though +Marlow admired his sister-in-law greatly in the abstract, or at any rate +in a photograph, he was unaffectedly afraid of her, even in his own +house. So he said nothing when May read out Mrs. Grimmer's letter, only +shook his head twice, very gravely, and waited for Mrs. Fenton to speak.</p> + +<p>Ida held out her hand in silence for the letter, which she read through +carefully, then, "It has been a deliberate plot on Ethel Grimmer's +part,"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_254" id="Page_254">[Pg 254]</a></span> she said. "She has gone out of her way to do it. I know she has +got fast and vulgar lately, smoking cigarettes and talking slang; but I +did not think she would do an immoral thing like this."</p> + +<p>Henry, who really had a sneaking admiration for Mrs. Grimmer, went +rather red. "Oh, I say, Ida, that's going a little too far, isn't it?" +he began, but his sister-in-law exchanged a meaning glance with May, and +then cut him short.</p> + +<p>"I beg your pardon, Henry. Have you forgotten Jimmy's conduct in town? +He is hardly the fit husband for an innocent young girl like Vera +Farlow; and, moreover, is he in a position to marry? He has no settled +income, and his only capital was the thousand pounds which Joseph was +foolish enough to leave him. I expect, too, that he has squandered that already."</p> + +<p>Henry got up abruptly. He had heard that legacy discussed until he +loathed the very mention of it; and now he had no intention of listening +whilst the whole matter was threshed out anew.</p> + +<p>"Well, I'll leave you to talk it over whilst I go and have a smoke," he said.</p> + +<p>But his wife caught his sleeve. "Dear, you've had a cigar already this +evening, and you might stay and advise us now. We must make up our minds +what we are going to do."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_255" id="Page_255">[Pg 255]</a></span></p><p>Rather sulkily, Henry turned back, and went over to the fireplace, +where he leaned against the mantelpiece, and began to fidget with his watch chain.</p> + +<p>"I don't see what there is for you to do," he said. "It's an affair for +Miss Farlow and Jimmy to settle between them. Your brother has sown his +wild oats now, and he'll be steady enough."</p> + +<p>May shook her head sadly. "I know you're very kind to him, dear, kinder +than he deserves; but we must not let our feelings stand in the way of +our duty. What do you say, Ida?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Fenton nodded. "We know that besides the affair of that creature in +town, Jimmy used to drink too much. Probably, he does still. We don't +want to have a scandal, and perhaps to have his wife and children +penniless on our hands."</p> + +<p>Somehow, that night Henry Marlow's temper was not quite under control, +and his voice was distinctly sharp as he retorted, "Miss Farlow has +money of her own, at least two hundred a year, settled on her, so they +wouldn't starve. What is it you propose to do?"</p> + +<p>"Tell Canon Farlow the truth, of course," Ida answered with asperity; +"then he can judge for himself. It will relieve us of responsibility in +the matter. It is the only thing we can do."</p> + +<p>Marlow frowned. "It's not my idea of what<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_256" id="Page_256">[Pg 256]</a></span> is right. You know Jimmy left +this girl long ago. Why can't you forget it, and give him a chance to +start again?" He addressed himself almost pointedly to his wife; but May +shook her head.</p> + +<p>"One can't forget in that way, Henry," she replied, gently; "at least +not in this case. It wouldn't be fair to Vera, knowing what we do about +Jimmy's instincts. No; Ida is right. We must certainly tell Canon Farlow."</p> + +<p>"But he's left the girl," Henry persisted; he had always liked Jimmy, +even if he had never understood him or been greatly interested in him; +moreover, the whole idea of writing to the prospective father-in-law was +repugnant to his ideas of fairness.</p> + +<p>"How do you know he has really left her?" Ida asked coldly. "He has +deceived us before and may be deceiving us again. The only address he +has given us is his club, and this letter from Ethel is the first +intimation we have had as to where he was living. She may be there, too."</p> + +<p>Mr. Marlow laughed scornfully. "And under Ethel Grimmer's eyes? Hardly, +Ida. And, according to the character you give her, she is not likely to +allow him to get engaged to someone else. When did you hear of her last?"</p> + +<p>"Never, after she fled that night." It was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_257" id="Page_257">[Pg 257]</a></span> May who answered. "I wish we +had been able to follow her up."</p> + +<p>"Why?" Henry demanded. "I think you got pretty well revenged as it was."</p> + +<p>Ida picked up her needlework again, rather ostentatiously. She had never +seen her brother-in-law in this combative mood before, and it made her a +little uneasy; but she was not going to let him see that fact, so she +answered even more coldly than before:</p> + +<p>"There was no question of revenge, Henry. Really, the suggestion is a +little coarse, if May will forgive my saying so. Why we wished to find +her was for this reason. Gilbert"—she coloured rather becomingly as she +pronounced the name—Gilbert was Mr. Fugnell, Ethel's "Additional +Curate," to whom she had recently become engaged—"Gilbert is greatly +interested in a home for these people, where they do laundry work, and +so on, and he was very anxious to save her. He said they had several +vacancies, and they had been forced to refuse work for want of hands. +That, if you want to know, is why we were anxious to discover where she +had gone. It was entirely for her own good."</p> + +<p>Marlow did not answer. He was a keen business man himself, and he liked +clear balance sheets, even from a charitable institution, but Mr.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_258" id="Page_258">[Pg 258]</a></span> +Fugnell's charities issued no accounts at all. Moreover, of late a +certain weekly paper had been displaying a great deal of interest in +this very Home of which Ida was speaking, and only that day, coming down +in the train, Henry had been wondering whether he ought not to mention +the matter to Ida; but now he realised that his very advocacy of Jimmy's +claim to be left alone had practically rendered it impossible for him to +warn his sister-in-law. He would be doing the same thing he had +condemned in her. So he held his peace, and, by a kind of tacit consent, +the whole matter was dropped for the time being.</p> + +<p>When Ida had gone up to bed, however, Marlow broached the question again +to his wife. "Don't you really think you had better leave Jimmy to +settle his own affairs, dear?" he said. "Just think how we should have +felt if anyone had come between us when we were engaged. I know it would +have sent me wrong altogether."</p> + +<p>For a moment, May wavered; then she laid her hand on his arm very +tenderly. "You mustn't say that, Henry. I know you would never have done +anything you shouldn't do; and then, you see, you had no past to be +afraid of, which makes all the difference. No, I think Canon Farlow must +be told, so that he can investigate matters and judge for himself. Think +if there were a scandal<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_259" id="Page_259">[Pg 259]</a></span> after they were married, this other woman +making a fuss at the house, and perhaps causing them to separate. It +would ruin our position, too, and we must think of the children, even +though we were ready to take the risks ourselves. Really, sweetheart, +I'm right. Jimmy has only himself to blame."</p> + +<p>Her husband sighed, then bent down and kissed her. "Well, I leave it to +you, May. He is your brother, not mine. But if this sends him wrong +again, you mustn't blame him too much. He will be very bitter with you and Ida."</p> + +<p>May's face grew hard again. "We cannot help it if he is. None of us +would agree to have the Grierson name dragged in the mud again."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_260" id="Page_260">[Pg 260]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXIX" id="CHAPTER_XXIX"></a>CHAPTER XXIX</h2> + +<p>The news of Jimmy's engagement spread rapidly. Dr. Gregg heard it within +twenty-four hours, and mentioned it the same evening to Mrs. Richards, +the lady whose bow Jimmy had failed to acknowledge when he was coming +out of the hotel.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Richards shook her head over the tidings. "I cannot say I am +pleased to hear it, Doctor. Mr. Grierson can be very nice, and I am told +he is very clever; but still I am sorry for Miss Farlow. He has an +unfortunate failing."</p> + +<p>"Do you mean he drinks?" the doctor asked bluntly.</p> + +<p>The lady nodded. "I, myself, have seen him under the influence of +liquor, before mid-day; and my maid tells me it's a common subject of +conversation amongst the lower classes in the town. I understand a great +many writers have the same weakness," she added, grimly.</p> + +<p>Dr. Gregg snorted. "Nonsense, madam. When Grierson is married he will be +as steady as your own sons. I know him very well, and have a great +respect for him. The girl ought to be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_261" id="Page_261">[Pg 261]</a></span> proud. He is going to make a big +name for himself; whilst as for the lower classes in this town, and the +upper classes as well, for that matter, their chief object in life seems +to be to make up and spread lying tales."</p> + +<p>"Dr. Gregg, was more brusque than ever to-day," Mrs. Richards remarked +to her husband an hour later. "Really, he is such a bear that if one +could trust Dr. Hart I would have him instead. It's not nice to be +stormed at and practically called a scandalmonger, especially when I +know that what I was saying is true."</p> + +<p>Her husband took her complaints lightly, remembering that only a year +before that same bear of a doctor had snatched their youngest child out +of the grip of death, and knowing well that, so long as the old man +remained in practice, his wife would take his word before that of the +most famous specialist in London. "What was the trouble with Gregg this +time, Kate?" he asked, smiling.</p> + +<p>"It was over Miss Farlow's engagement," she answered. "I was saying that +I'm sorry for the girl, because I'm sure young Grierson drinks; and the +doctor got rude about it at once."</p> + +<p>"Perhaps you were not very wise, because Grierson is a friend of his, as +well as a patient; but still, I am afraid what you said was true. I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_262" id="Page_262">[Pg 262]</a></span> +don't know the man personally; but Bateman and Knowles and one or two +men who do know him say the same. I hear he's been better lately, +though, since the Grimmers took Drylands. Perhaps he was lonely, or +something like that. He knew very few people then, and it must have been +horribly dull for him."</p> + +<p>"I don't see that there is any excuse in that." Mrs. Richards' voice was +unusually severe. "He could have known people if he liked. Mr. Button, +the vicar, called on him; but he's never been to church once in over a +year, at least he never went until Miss Farlow came on the scene."</p> + +<p>Her husband smiled. "Perhaps she's converted him," he suggested.</p> + +<p>But Mrs. Richards was in earnest. "Conversions of that sort never last," +she went on. "He will be just as bad again after marriage, when the +novelty has worn off. I am sure I would never allow a man of that sort +to marry one of our daughters."</p> + +<p>Mr. Richards smiled again. "You might mislead a stranger by that +statement, Kate, seeing that they are both married already."</p> + +<p>Then the dinner gong sounded, and he straightway forgot all about the +matter; but his wife could not get it out of her mind. Her dearest girl +friend had married a man who had turned<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_263" id="Page_263">[Pg 263]</a></span> out to be an incurable +drunkard, and the tragedy of those two ruined lives came back to her +vividly, so vividly in fact that she determined to call at Drylands on +the following day, nominally to offer her congratulations to Vera +Farlow, really to see if she could not whisper a word of warning into Mrs. Grimmer's ear.</p> + +<p>"Mrs. Grimmer is not at home," the servant said, in answer to her inquiry.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Richards began to open her card case, then, acting on a sudden +resolution, she looked up again and asked, "Is Miss Farlow in?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, madam," the maid answered.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Richards closed her card case with a snap, and followed the maid +into the drawing-room.</p> + +<p>Vera looked so happy that for a moment the visitor hesitated, then the +very innocence and gentleness of the girl strengthened her resolution, +clinched it, and she saw her path of duty more clearly than ever. +Deliberately, she sought for an opening.</p> + +<p>"Have you known Mr. Grierson long?" she asked.</p> + +<p>"Not very long, really," Vera answered. "I met him first nearly two +years ago, at dinner. But after that, I did not see him again until I +came down here with the Grimmers. Still, he's<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_264" id="Page_264">[Pg 264]</a></span> a very old friend of +Ethel's—Mrs. Grimmer, I mean—and his people are parishioners of my father's."</p> + +<p>"Does he often go down to see his people?" Mrs. Richards asked, a new +suspicion breaking on her mind.</p> + +<p>Vera shook her head. "He's been so busy, you see; and it's a long way; +in fact, I don't think he has been there for over a year."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Richards' last doubt had disappeared now. So Jimmy's people knew of +his failing and would not receive him in their homes. Evidently, it was +time that someone interfered to save this girl.</p> + +<p>"It is sometimes a great risk marrying a very clever man. They are not +always too steady."</p> + +<p>Vera, who was rather bored with her visitor, was staring out of the +window, wondering where Jimmy was, but now she looked round sharply, a +glint of anger in her eyes.</p> + +<p>"I am not afraid of that in Mr. Grierson's case," she answered coldly. +"Perhaps he is one of the exceptions, that is, if the rule itself is not +one of those silly ideas people get hold of and insist on believing in +for no reason at all, except perhaps because they're jealous."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Richards coloured slightly, but she did not take offence. Rather, +her heart went out in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_265" id="Page_265">[Pg 265]</a></span> sympathy to this girl whose loyalty was likely to +be so ill repaid.</p> + +<p>"My dear," she said very gently, "I came intending to warn you, because +I was afraid no one else would have the courage to tell you. No, don't +jump up. Let me finish. I am afraid, in fact, I am sure, that Mr. +Grierson has that very failing we referred to. It is a matter of common +knowledge here; and, though he may keep steady whilst you are about, I +am sorry to say that the very first day after you went away last time, I +myself saw him the worse for liquor."</p> + +<p>Vera's first impulse was to do something theatrical, to ring for the +servants to turn this abominable woman out, to rush out herself and find +Jimmy and implore him to avenge the insult; but something in Mrs. +Richards' manner checked her, and in the end she listened in silence, +sitting very still with her hand in her lap.</p> + +<p>When the other had done, she made one attempt at disbelief. "It's not +true, it's not true," she murmured, then she went on, "Oh, say it isn't +true. Do say so. Why did you come and tell me when I was so happy?"</p> + +<p>There were tears in Mrs. Richards' eyes as she answered. "My dear, it's +better to know now than when it's too late, when your life is ruined. If +you want confirmation you had better make<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_266" id="Page_266">[Pg 266]</a></span> other inquiries. Ask Mr. +Grierson himself. He cannot deny it."</p> + +<p>To Vera's own astonishment, she let the visitor kiss her before they +parted; in fact, she returned the kiss; and yet, when looking back on it +afterwards, it seemed quite natural, for no one could have doubted the +honesty of Mrs. Richards' purpose, even if they had doubted her +statements. But Vera doubted neither. She knew the accusation was true; +and when on Jimmy coming in a few moments later and finding her red-eyed +and white-faced, she taxed him with it, he recognised the futility of +denial, though he pleaded extenuating circumstances.</p> + +<p>"I was miserable and lonely, and until I met you everything seemed to +have gone to pieces. It will never happen again, darling, really it +won't. You know that, don't you? surely you know it." He was fighting, +not only for her love, but for his whole future, his position in +society, the respect of his own class. If he lost her, he felt he would +lose everything else which a Grierson holds dear. He would never have +the heart to make another try.</p> + +<p>"I don't know," she sighed at last. "I had such faith in you, and this +has been such an awful shock. Oh, Jimmy, Jimmy, I could never have believed it."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_267" id="Page_267">[Pg 267]</a></span></p><p>Even in his misery, it struck him that she had believed it, very +readily, and a hint of anger came into his bearing. After all, his +promise of reformation, or rather the fact that he had already reformed, +should have some weight with her. But she was judging him by the past, +in which she had had no part. Still, he spoke gently, pleadingly.</p> + +<p>"Vera, dear, you must forgive me. It will never happen again now that I +have you to look after me. You will keep me straight."</p> + +<p>But he struck the wrong chord, and she looked up almost indignantly. +"You ought to be manly enough to keep straight by yourself, you ought +never to have sunk as you have done. There can be no excuse for it, none whatever."</p> + +<p>"And no forgiveness?" he asked very quietly. She covered her face with +her hands again. "Oh, I don't know, I don't know. Everything seems so +dreadful, and I shall be afraid to trust you. Go away now, and let me +think it over quietly."</p> + +<p>"Very well. I will come back after dinner. Meet me down by the +summer-house." There was something masterful in his tone, and for a +moment she felt inclined to obey; then her sense of injury came to her +aid, and she shook her head.</p> + +<p>"No, to-morrow morning at the earliest. I cannot decide so quickly."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_268" id="Page_268">[Pg 268]</a></span></p><p>Jimmy took his hat off the table. "Good-bye, then. I will come +to-morrow morning." And he left the room without another word. As the +door closed behind him, Vera stood up, straightened her hair in front of +the glass on the mantelpiece, dabbed the tears out of her eyes with her +handkerchief, and then went upstairs, holding her head rather erect, but +otherwise showing no sign of emotion.</p> + +<p>Jimmy filled his pipe whilst he went down the front steps, and as he +rammed the tobacco into the bowl he noticed, with a cynical little +smile, that his hand was perfectly steady. In his heart he did not +believe that the quarrel would prove final, that she would break off the +engagement on the grounds of his past failings. It was just a passing +cloud, he told himself. Both of them would have been more upset had +their love affair come to a sudden and abrupt close. He remembered how +he had felt when he had parted from Lalage, the fever and the agony of +it, the sense of utter desolation and hopelessness. And from that he +came to think of Lalage herself. She had never turned on him because he +drank. Far otherwise. The knowledge had made her more tender, more +watchful over his comfort, more anxious to shield him from worries which +might drive him into the power of his enemy. She had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_269" id="Page_269">[Pg 269]</a></span> never blamed him, +even by implication. And why? He knew the answer only too well. Because +she had loved him. Now the fever, which the parting from Vera had failed +to arouse, came on him again. His pipe went out, and, unconsciously, he +quickened his steps, as was his way when deeply stirred.</p> + +<p>Lalage loved him. Lalage loved him too well to turn on him. The words +drummed through his brain with maddening persistency; and then, as a +corollary to them, came the questions, "Did Vera love him well enough to +take the risk, to give him a chance to run straight? Was he always to be +the Black Sheep, and herd with others of his kind?"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_270" id="Page_270">[Pg 270]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXX" id="CHAPTER_XXX"></a>CHAPTER XXX</h2> + +<p>It was only a couple of hours after Jimmy had left Vera that the +chauffeur from Drylands brought him a note in Mrs. Grimmer's sprawling handwriting.</p> + +<p>"It will be all right," Ethel wrote. "Vera has agreed to take the +sensible view, and let you show outward and visible signs of reformation +during your engagement. So you must be very good, and, if you can, even +pious. Come up to lunch to-morrow with a jaunty air as though nothing had happened."</p> + +<p>Jimmy heaved a sigh of relief as he folded up the note and thrust it +into his pocket. So the crisis was safely over, after all. Straightway +he began to make excuses for Vera, her youth, her inexperience, the +atmosphere in which she had been reared; yet he could not help +remembering that Lalage was younger, by a year at least, and that her +chances of gaining experience at home had been far smaller, and still +Lalage had understood him and tried to help him, whilst Vera was only +taking him as an offender on probation.</p> + +<p>The latter was not pleasant thought, especially<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_271" id="Page_271">[Pg 271]</a></span> as the final letter to +Lalage remained unwritten. He had intended to do it that night, had +really made up his mind to do it; but now this scene with Vera seemed to +have shaken his nerves, and he felt he could stand no more strain until +he had had a good sleep. There was really no immediate hurry for a day +or two. Both his letters to Lalage and her letters to him were so brief +and so few in number that no one could object to the correspondence. So, +in the end, he went to bed, moderately satisfied with his own prospects, +having written nothing at all.</p> + +<p>Jimmy got up in the morning with a certain sense of relief in his mind. +He was rather glad now that Vera did know something of his past +failings; it was better for her to understand, and to forgive, than for +him to live with the fear of exposure ever in his thoughts. Their little +quarrel, if quarrel it could be called, would serve a useful purpose in +clearing the air; and now there would be no more trouble. He would soon +reassure her by giving positive proofs of reformation. Moreover, he +could write to Lalage that night, after making, his peace with Vera.</p> + +<p>The morning postman brought nothing more interesting than a receipted +laundry bill, which Jimmy tossed angrily on to the desk. He had been +expecting a letter of congratulation from<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_272" id="Page_272">[Pg 272]</a></span> May, in fact, he had looked +to receive it twenty-four hours previously, and its non-arrival worried +him a little. He had been hoping that the news of his engagement would +have led to a treaty of peace with his family, being, as it was, +significant of his surrender to the Grierson ideals. Surely May would +see that he had sown his wild oats, and was ready, eager even, to marry +into a respectable family and live respectably.</p> + +<p>His breakfast finished, Jimmy glanced through his newspapers, at the +same time keeping a look-out for the second postman; but when the latter +did come down the road he hurried by without even glancing at the +cottage. Obviously, he had nothing to deliver. Jimmy got up abruptly, a +frown on his face. They might have written to him, and have offered +their congratulations. He had given in to their ideas completely now; +his engagement was in itself tacit recognition of the code of the +Griersons, and he could not understand why the family should still +harbour bitterness against him. Surely he had suffered enough for his +revolt. But May and Ida and Walter had always been the same, obstinate, +self-satisfied, regarding everything he did as necessarily wrong. In the +world of men who thought, Jimmy knew that he, himself, was quickly +gaining a position,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_273" id="Page_273">[Pg 273]</a></span> and that his wife would also have a position, +through him; but his family gauged position by the standard of the +pass-book, the only book it considered of any permanent importance. The +successful business man was respectable by virtue of his success; it +made little difference whether he had grown rich as a banker, a +merchant, or a member of a County Council committee; but the man who +lived by his brains it regarded with suspicion, as one who made an +income without possessing capital.</p> + +<p>Jimmy was in a bitter mood. The little matter of the delayed letter had +brought out that alien streak in him again, and once more he saw the +Griersons as he had seen them in the early days of his return, +unsympathetic, prejudiced, almost smug. He had been striving hard to win +their approval. He had given up Lalage; he had written only things of +which they could approve; he had become engaged to a girl essentially of +their world, and now——</p> + +<p>A sharp knock on the door brought him to his feet, and he opened the +latch to find the ragged little girl, who generally acted as telegraph +boy, holding out a yellow envelope. "Any answer, sir?" she chanted.</p> + +<p>Jimmy read the message through. It was from<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_274" id="Page_274">[Pg 274]</a></span> Canon Farlow, and had been +despatched at the London terminus. "Meet me on the station at +twelve-thirty. Most important," it said.</p> + +<p>Jimmy crushed the paper up, and thrust it into his pocket. "No answer, +thanks," he said, then he glanced at the clock. He had an hour and a +half still to wait. For a moment he thought of going up to Drylands +first, to see if Vera too had heard, but he put the idea aside +immediately after. Already, he had scented trouble. There must be +something very serious to have brought the Canon back from Switzerland +in such a hurry, and he preferred to see it through alone, to keep Vera +out of it, if possible.</p> + +<p>He was on the station platform a little early, in fact, he had time for +several drinks in the refreshment-room before the train came in; then, +rather to his surprise, he found the Drylands' chauffeur also waiting at the barrier.</p> + +<p>The Canon, a portly man, clean shaven, and obviously prosperous, emerged +from a first-class carriage with a bag in one hand and a rug on the +other arm. Perhaps for that reason, he did not offer to shake hands with +Jimmy; but even when the chauffeur had hurried forward for his things, +he had made no attempt to remedy the omission.</p> + +<p>"Good morning, Mr. Grierson," he said. "I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_275" id="Page_275">[Pg 275]</a></span> am glad to see you received +my telegram. Yes, Jones," to the chauffeur, "put those in the motor-car, +and kindly wait for me. I shall be going up shortly. And please put the +hood up, if possible.</p> + +<p>"Now, Mr. Grierson, is there anywhere we can talk. I have a few +questions of a rather serious nature, of a distinctly serious nature, I +might say, to ask you."</p> + +<p>Jimmy, now fully convinced that his theory of trouble ahead was right, +pulled himself together to meet it. The Canon's manner had already +aroused his antagonism, and he was in no mood to submit tamely.</p> + +<p>"We can talk in there, if you like," he answered, nodding towards the +refreshment-room. "I see the waiting-rooms are occupied."</p> + +<p>The Canon frowned, thinking he detected a hint of flippancy in the +younger man's manner. "I said it was a serious matter," he replied, +severely, "and a public bar is hardly the place for discussion, hardly +the place I should be likely to visit in any case." He glanced along the +platform, which was already deserted. "I think we will walk up that +direction, if you please."</p> + +<p>Jimmy, now thoroughly nettled, took out his case and lighted a cigarette +with rather ostentatious coolness, waiting for the other to begin.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_276" id="Page_276">[Pg 276]</a></span></p><p>At last when they got to the open end of the platform, Canon Farlow +cleared his voice with a little cough which he had often found most +effective on solemn occasions. "I understand from your letter that you +have proposed marriage to my daughter, Vera."</p> + +<p>Jimmy corrected him quietly. "I am engaged to Miss Farlow. I am sorry if +I didn't make that quite clear to you."</p> + +<p>If men in his position did such things, the Canon would have snorted; as +it was, however, he remembered his dignity in time. "Pardon me, Mr. +Grierson, my daughter knows better than to accept a proposal of marriage +from any man without my permission. Anything she may have said was +provisional, simply provisional, until I, myself, had made inquiries. I +regret to say now that what I have learnt about you is greatly to your +discredit, terribly so. I have had a letter from your sister, Mrs. Fenton."</p> + +<p>Jimmy was pale already, and he went, if possible, a shade paler, with +anger; but he spoke very calmly. "Yes, and what does Ida say about me? +Something pleasant, surely."</p> + +<p>Hitherto the Canon had spoken more in sorrow than in wrath, but now he +began to lose his temper; he was not accustomed to being treated +lightly. "Something most unpleasant on the other hand,"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_277" id="Page_277">[Pg 277]</a></span> he snapped. +"Something which, if true, as I believe it to be, renders you totally +unfit to associate with an innocent young girl like my daughter. Mrs. +Fenton informs me that a little while ago you were living a most +scandalous life in London."</p> + +<p>Jimmy knew that his case was hopeless. He had been betrayed, and had +already been judged, unheard. Still, he made one last attempt at +defence. "It was over a year ago, and I have never seen her since. I +have run straight enough since the time I left London; and I know I +should be true to your daughter."</p> + +<p>"You admit it is correct, then?" The canon gave the sigh he reserved for +the convicted sinner. "And where is this woman now?"</p> + +<p>The colour came back to Jimmy's face, suddenly. "That I shall not tell +you, or anybody else," he answered curtly.</p> + +<p>"Do you still keep up a correspondence with her?"</p> + +<p>Jimmy realised that the question was the fatal one. For a moment he +thought of explaining, of going into details as to how he was going to +break the last slender tie, of pleading all the extenuating +circumstances, of appealing for a chance to prove his reformation; then +he glanced at his companion, and knew there was no mercy in his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_278" id="Page_278">[Pg 278]</a></span> face. +"Yes, I still correspond with her," he replied quietly.</p> + +<p>The Canon's wrath blazed out. "And yet you dare propose marriage to my +daughter. You are a debased profligate, sir, absolutely unfit for any +respectable people to know. You, you——" he spluttered a little, "you +are a positive danger to society. The idea of keeping up communication +with a vile creature like that, and expecting to marry my daughter." He +was snorting in earnest now.</p> + +<p>Jimmy's eyes had grown dangerously bright. "I allow no one to call my +friends vile creatures, not even a man who is supposed to be a preacher +of charity and good will. Whatever Miss Penrose has been in the past, +she has led a perfectly good life since we parted, and I respect her as +much as I respect any other woman living." He spoke proudly, defiantly, +looking the cleric full in the face.</p> + +<p>For a moment Canon Farlow was speechless, then he attempted to take +refuge in scorn. "If you are really so foolish as to believe that those +creatures ever reform——" he began.</p> + +<p>But Jimmy cut him short sternly. "You have said more than enough +already. Good morning." He turned on his heel and went a couple of +steps, then something struck him and he faced round<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_279" id="Page_279">[Pg 279]</a></span> again. "May I +venture one suggestion? Next time you preach you might take as your +text, 'He amongst you who is without sin, let him throw the first +stone,'" and he stalked down the platform, leaving the canon bereft of +even a trace of his well-known pulpit manner.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_280" id="Page_280">[Pg 280]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXXI" id="CHAPTER_XXXI"></a>CHAPTER XXXI</h2> + +<p>Jimmy did not attempt to go back to the cottage. Instead, he walked very +slowly up the street towards the hotel, the door of which he was just +entering when the Grimmer motor-car dashed past with the Canon sitting +very erect in the tonneau. As a matter of fact, that grave personage had +eventually entered the refreshment-room, feeling he needed something to +steady his nerves after such a trying interview. True, the brandy did +restore him a little, but the memory of Jimmy's words remained. He never +forgot them, and, as his wrath subsided, they began to affect him in +another way, making him ask himself whether, after all, he had read some +of his Master's words aright. As time went by, the matter troubled him +more and more—it is always a serious thing when a man past middle age, +and a dignitary of the Church at that, begins to think—and when, a year +later, Vera became engaged to the son of one of his own church-wardens, +a young City man of exemplary life and undoubted wealth, he was +conscious of a distinct sense of disappointment. He would have liked a +son-in-law who would have<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_281" id="Page_281">[Pg 281]</a></span> understood his new point of view. He married +them himself, in the blatantly new church with the sprawling texts round +the chancel arch; and the world, his world, congratulated him. But on +the following Sunday he preached a sermon which shocked his congregation +beyond measure, and really cost him that bishopric; for he took Jimmy's +suggested text, and argued, with an eloquent fire, quite alien to his +nature, that if the Master was ready to forgive, His followers must do the same.</p> + +<p>Ida voiced the opinion of a good part of the congregation, when she +said, on the way home after the service, "Poor Canon Farlow! It is too +terrible. The excitement of the wedding must have unhinged his mind."</p> + +<p>But her new husband, Mr. Tugnell, himself a candidate for orders, the +owner of the living having promised that he should succeed the canon, +expressed the more general view, when he said sharply, "Nonsense, my +dear, the man had been drinking. Anyone could see that."</p> + +<p>And Ida agreed, as she did to everything Mr. Tugnell said. Even when he +had suggested that she should settle half of Joseph Fenton's hard-earned +money on himself she had consented, knowing that he was a +philanthropist, and therefore would use it well.</p> + +<p>May Farlow, on the other hand, grieved <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_282" id="Page_282">[Pg 282]</a></span>honestly for the canon, and +still retained sittings in the parish church, though she usually took +the children to the chapel-of-ease, "where is an old friend of ours," +she said, "and I'm not going to turn my back on him. There are always +two sides to a question after all, and I want to hear both. Perhaps +we've been wrong in some things, Ida. At any rate, now that my children +are growing up, I want more than ever to be right, so that I can guide +them, and prevent them from making mistakes. Sometimes I think we were +too severe in the past."</p> + +<p class="center">* * * * *</p> + +<p>Jimmy hardly noticed the canon passing him. His mind was too full of +other things. Vera was lost to him, he knew that, and, somehow, the fact +troubled him little. With her, also, he had lost all present chance of +going back to the Grierson world, of becoming a true and complete +Grierson again, and curiously enough, that troubled him equally little. +He had ceased to have the slightest desire for such a thing. A black +sheep himself, he preferred to herd with his kind.</p> + +<p>His first feeling had been one of bitter wrath against his sisters. They +had betrayed him; they had thrust him back again when he was trying to +pull himself up; they were keeping him down, keeping him at a distance +for fear he should <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_283" id="Page_283">[Pg 283]</a></span>damage their position. And then his anger seemed to +pass away, and he laughed, first at them, then at himself. What did he +care about position, what did he care about Vera Farlow, what did he +care about anything—except Lalage?</p> + +<p>He knew it now. He knew why his engagement had made him so utterly +miserable, knew why he had been unable to write that final letter to +Lalage. There was only one place in the world he wanted to be—where +Lalage was; only one object in life for him—to make Lalage happy, and +by so doing wipe out all memory of his intended unfaithfulness to her.</p> + +<p>But would she have him back now, would she forgive his coldness and his +neglect, above all his repudiation of her in the London days? Did she +still love him, as he knew she had done once, love him enough to forgive +and forget, love him as he loved her? The thought drove everything else +out of his mind. Vera, her father, his sisters, all seemed to belong to +some distant past with which he now had no connection. His bitterness +against Ida and May, his anger against the canon, his first feeling of +grief, or rather of wounded pride, when he learnt that Vera was lost to +him—these were as nothing compared to the fear that Lalage would refuse +him. He was like a man who had awakened from a long sleep full of +dreams<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_284" id="Page_284">[Pg 284]</a></span> to find that, whilst he had slumbered, a deadly peril had come +down on him, a peril which could be averted only by immediate action.</p> + +<p>Jimmy had ordered a drink, more or less mechanically, as a tribute +levied by the house; but he pushed it away untasted.</p> + +<p>"I'm going to be absolutely sober when I do this," he muttered, then +went back into the hall, where he spent five minutes poring over a +timetable, following the trains down the lines of figures with a finger +which trembled slightly. Every hour seemed of supreme importance now. +Had he not been in dreamland for over a year? At last he found his +trains. He had three hours to wait in the town, two hours in London; but +he would finally arrive in the little Yorkshire town about half-past +seven in the morning, before Lalage had started work in that hateful little shop.</p> + +<p>There was no need for him to write the trains down. Their times of +departure were already graven on his memory; all he had to do now was +cross the road to the post-office and wire to Lalage. He was cool again, +a perfectly normal man. All his anger and his excitement had gone; but, +none the less, he did not hesitate a moment over taking what might be, +what he hoped would be, an irrevocable step.</p> + +<p>An hour later, the kindly, grey-bearded old<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_285" id="Page_285">[Pg 285]</a></span> draper beckoned Lalage into +his private office. "There's a wire for you, Miss Penrose," he said.</p> + +<p>Lalage opened the envelope with trembling fingers—only one person in +the world would wire to her—then she swayed a little and gripped the +table for support, as she read, "Meet me at the station half-past seven +to-morrow morning. Jimmy."</p> + +<p>The draper was watching her anxiously. "No bad news, I hope," he said.</p> + +<p>She looked at him with a smile which reassured him instantly. "No, it's +good news, the best of good news," she answered.</p> + +<p>When she had gone out the old man shook his head sadly. His own wife had +died thirty years before, and he had passed nearly half of his life in +waiting for the meeting on the other side; so he knew what that smile +meant. Only a man, and the right man, can bring it to a woman's lips.</p> + +<p>When Jimmy left the post-office he went straight back to the cottage. +The fear of meeting any of the Drylands people did not worry him in the +least. They all belonged to the dream, even Ethel, and now he had got +back to the reality. Yet, when he opened the door and found a note from +Mrs. Grimmer lying on the floor, he did not feel a twinge of uneasiness, +dreading reproaches from her, as his hostess.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_286" id="Page_286">[Pg 286]</a></span></p><p>But Ethel wrote kindly. "Don't take it to heart too much, dear old boy. +It was a nasty trick for Ida to play you, although just what I should +have expected from her or May. As for the canon, I am afraid I have +offended him mortally by sticking up for you. Vera is hopelessly weak. I +was never more disappointed in anyone in my life. Still, after all, it +was a mistake, and you would have never been happy. Take comfort from +that, and don't do anything rash."</p> + +<p>Jimmy read it through a second time, then tore it up. Ethel was a good +sort, but if he did what he hoped to do, she would probably say he had +disregarded her advice and acted rashly. So she, too, had better become +part of the dream and be forgotten, which is the proper fate of dreams +and dream-people.</p> + +<p>It did not take him long to pack his bag and shut up the cottage; +consequently, he had plenty of time to catch his train; but on this +occasion he did not go into the refreshment-room. He needed no stimulant +to keep him going now. If she refused to hear him it might be different; +but until he saw her he was going to touch nothing. He would speak +deliberately, in cold blood.</p> + +<p>For a moment, when he came out of the terminus, London affected him as +it had done on the night of his home-coming; but the feeling passed +immediately, and the town became simply<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_287" id="Page_287">[Pg 287]</a></span> one stage on his journey to +Lalage. Moreover, as he drove across to the other terminus, he felt none +of that sickness at heart which he had dreaded so greatly, which had +made him avoid the place as a plague spot. All the old memories seemed +to have lost their bitterness. The women in the streets had not the +slightest kinship with Lalage. His jealousy of the past had vanished, +the hateful thoughts which had once gone nigh to driving him mad had +lost all their power, and now the only thing in his mind was the fear +that the new Lalage, which was the real Lalage, would not risk joining +her life to his again.</p> + +<p>As the train came into the station he saw her standing there, tall, very +pale, and, as he thought, looking even more beautiful than ever in her +plain black dress. She was the only person on the platform, just as he +was the only passenger to alight; but, seeing the look in her eyes, it +would have been the same had there been a crowd.</p> + +<p>"Lalage," he said, and took her in his arms.</p> + +<p>When she disengaged herself, blushing, for the ticket collector had just +come out, she scanned his face eagerly, and then the colour left her cheek again.</p> + +<p>"Jimmy, oh, Jimmy, dear, you look so ill. Hasn't anyone taken care of +you all these months?"</p> + +<p>He laughed happily, knowing now that <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_288" id="Page_288">[Pg 288]</a></span>everything was well. "I will tell +you all about it by and by." Then he stopped, regardless of the +indignant glances of the ticket collector, who was thinking of his +cooling breakfast. "Shall I send my bag to the hotel, or shall I leave it here?"</p> + +<p>She understood his meaning. "Send it to the hotel," she answered in a low voice.</p> + +<p>Nothing more was said until they were clear of the station yard, then, +"Where can we go and have a quiet talk?" he asked.</p> + +<p>For answer she led him into a little public park near by. It was +deserted at that hour, and he got the chance to speak at once.</p> + +<p>"Lalage," he said in a tone she hardly recognised, "I've broken my +promise to you. I've been ruining my health with liquor, trying to +forget you; and I've been engaged to another woman. I know you're +infinitely too good for me in every way; but I've come to ask you to +marry me, not in the distant future, but now, at once, as soon as I can get a licence."</p> + +<p>She stood very still, and, for a few seconds, he feared he had come too +late, then she spoke haltingly. "Jimmy, I'm afraid ... after the past +... that you wouldn't trust me. And that would be even worse than this."</p> + +<p>He took her hand. "Lalage, dearest, there's no question of that now, +there can be no question<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_289" id="Page_289">[Pg 289]</a></span> of it when we're married. You say no one has +taken care of me. Won't you do it, sweetheart, and save me from myself?"</p> + +<p>She looked at him with shining eyes. "You haven't said yet why you want +to marry me, Jimmy."</p> + +<p>Once more he took her in his arms unresisting. "Because I love you, +dearest, because you're everything in this wide world to me, because I +honour you and trust you above all women, and because life would not be +worth living unless I had you as my wife."</p> + +<h4>THE END</h4> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's People of Position, by Stanley Portal Hyatt + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PEOPLE OF POSITION *** + +***** This file should be named 29274-h.htm or 29274-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/9/2/7/29274/ + +Produced by Peter Vachuska, Julia Miller, Martin Pettit +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: People of Position + +Author: Stanley Portal Hyatt + +Illustrator: H. Richard Boehm + +Release Date: June 30, 2009 [EBook #29274] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PEOPLE OF POSITION *** + + + + +Produced by Peter Vachuska, Julia Miller, Martin Pettit +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +PEOPLE OF POSITION + + +[Illustration: LALAGE] + + +PEOPLE OF POSITION + +BY + +STANLEY PORTAL HYATT + +Author of "Little Brown Brother," "End of the Road," etc. + +_With a Frontispiece by H. RICHARD BOEHM_ + + +NEW YORK +WESSELS & BISSELL CO. +1910 + + +COPYRIGHT, 1910, BY + +WESSELS & BISSELL CO. + +_September_ + +THE PREMIER PRESS +NEW YORK + + + + +PROLOGUE + + +Grierson refilled the magazine of his rifle carefully--when you are +dealing with South American patriots it is better to take no chances, +even though the enemy has retreated--then he wiped a couple of +half-dried blood spots off his cheek, and, after that, went over to +where lay the body of the man from whom that same blood had spurted. + +For a full minute he stood very still, gazing with sombre eyes at the +kindly face which seemed to be smiling back at him even in death; then +he knelt down, and, with infinite gentleness, smoothed the ruffled hair, +arranged the collar so as to hide the bullet hole in the bronzed throat, +and crossed the hands on the breast. When he got up again his face was +twitching strangely, seeing which, the American officer, who had come up +behind him, suddenly became busy with his men. + +It was one of those stories which seldom get into the newspapers, +possibly because they are so utterly unimportant in themselves--a ragged +band of half-breeds robbing and murdering in the name of liberty; a +landing party of marines from the nearest warship, which happened to be +American; and a futile little fight ending, as usual, in the defeat of +the brigands. Only this time, an Englishman, who had gone out with the +marines, had been killed; and now Grierson, his friend, was trying to +realise the fact. + +"He was awfully good to me, the whitest man that ever stepped. I met him +down the coast a year ago--my luck was right out--and he brought me +along with him. I hadn't had a proper meal for days, much less a smoke, +and he'd only my word for who I was. Yet he risked it, and I've been +here ever since." Grierson, who had been walking in silence beside the +marine officer, spoke suddenly. + +The American nodded sympathetically. "It was hard luck to be killed by a +rotten Dago outfit like that. Whenever you get a coloured man talking +about liberty you know he's just prospecting round for a chance to break +the Eighth Commandment." + +Grierson muttered a curse; then, as if he wanted to confide in someone, +possibly as a relief to his own feelings, "His partner will be here in a +week's time; he was on his way already. When he comes I shall clear out +and go home." + +Captain Harben nodded again. "Meaning England?" he asked. + +"Yes, England--London. I've had ten years knocking about the +world--China, India, Australia, and all round this forsaken continent; +and the sum total of what I've got to show for it is the fever and a +couple of knife scars in my back--patriots again, one Hindu, one +Peruvian. So I think I had better go home and begin afresh--if I can." +And he gave a bitter little laugh. + +The American glanced sharply at the tall, thin figure and haggard face. +When they had started out that morning to drive the saviours of their +country out of the spirit stores they were looting, Grierson had struck +him as a keen youngster with a rather infectious laugh, and his +appreciation had been increased by the way in which the other had +dropped a running insurgent at four hundred yards' range; now, however, +the captain found himself wondering whether, after all, it was not too +late for his companion to talk of beginning life afresh. + +At dinner that night he expressed his doubts to the Consul, who shook +his head. "Locke, the man they killed to-day, told me young Grierson had +been through a pretty rough time, touched rock bottom. He was going into +the British Army, but had to throw it up, and went out to the Orient for +some Company which failed soon after, leaving him stranded. Since then +everything he had been in has turned out wrong; and now this has +gone.... Queer how some men do get the cards dealt them that way.... +He's clever, writes very well, and might have done something at it. +Locke's death will be an ugly blow to him." Being a kindly man and none +too successful himself, he sighed in sympathy, then mixed another whisky +and soda, and passed on to official matters. + +A little later Captain Harben harked back to the former question. "He's +got plenty of pluck. He was all there when it came to a fight. I like +him." + +"So do I," the other answered, "only I guess pluck of that sort won't +help him much in England, and you know, or at least I know, that a +fellow who's knocked about a lot doesn't suit civilisation, or +civilisation doesn't suit him--put it which way you like, the result is +the same. His nerves go under, somehow, and it ends so," nodding towards +the whisky bottle. + +Meanwhile Grierson was sitting on the verandah of his dead employer's +house staring out into the night, and trying to make plans for the +future. + +"Whatever happens, I don't mean to starve again," he muttered. + + + + +PEOPLE OF POSITION + + + + +CHAPTER I + + +Mrs. Marlow flicked a crumb off her dress with rather unnecessary care. +"I've had a most annoying letter from Jimmy to-day. It came by the +second post, after Henry had gone to the City, and quite upset me. His +employer, Mr. Locke, has been killed in some disgraceful riot, and now +Jimmy himself is coming home. Of course, in a way, I shall be glad to +see him, and so will the rest of the family; but I know he's got no +money, and no profession to fall back upon, and I cannot see what he is +going to do for a living. If I asked him to do so, I have no doubt Henry +would make a place for him in the office; but I am not going to have my +husband burdened with my brother. Henry is too generous as it is; and +the Stock Exchange is in such a fearful state now that it is difficult +to make a bare living." She sighed heavily, and glanced round the +expensively furnished drawing-room, as if wondering whether that +abominable tendency towards suspicion on the part of the public, which +was causing it to eschew all sorts of speculation, might not result in +her losing the few luxuries she did possess. + +Her visitor, Mrs. Grimmer, wife of the junior partner in the well-known +City firm of Hornaday, Grimes, and Grimmer, dried fruit brokers, nodded +with an affectation of sympathy which she did not feel--the Marlows had +a touring car and a motor-brougham, whilst she had only a one-horse +carriage--and held out her cup to be refilled. She had known her hostess +for a good many years, over thirty in fact, ever since she and May +Marlow, who was then May Grierson and had thick flaxen plaits tied with +blue ribbon, had met at their first children's party. Walter Grierson, +the eldest of the family, now a City solicitor, had been eleven at that +time, whilst May had been seven and Ida five; but Jimmy had not arrived +until three summers later. + +Both Mr. and Mrs. Grierson belonged to eminently solid families, whose +forebears for generations had looked to the City for their living. To +them, the Square Mile stood for Respectability, just as the West End +typified Laxity and Luxury; whilst outside these limits there was +nothing but the Lower Classes. They ignored the Underworld, possibly +because they knew nothing of it, more likely because it had no place in +their Scheme of Things, the two main articles of their creed being that +every man must choose an occupation early and abide by his choice, and +that every good woman must stay at home. The logical result of these +Grierson ancestors and their kind was the Victorian age, the exaltation +of the Supremely Bad in Art and the Supremely Proper in mankind. Mrs. +Grierson had been Victorian in the fullest sense of the word, and she +had lived and died with all her principles intact, believing in the +Evangelical Church, the respectability of wealth, and the evil +tendencies of modern thought. On the other hand, some alien strain had +crept into Mr. Grierson, and he had not accepted the family traditions +in their entirety; in fact, both his own relatives and those of his wife +had found much to criticise in his ideas. Had he been able to shake +himself free of the family, he would have liked nothing better than to +possess a ranch in America or a sheep station in New South Wales. All +his life, he longed, in secret, for open air, and freedom, and the +society of men whose interests did not stop at Temple Bar; but, in the +end, Fate, in the form of a business bequeathed him by his father, sent +him to the City, and he resolutely put his dreams on one side. The +inevitable happened. He was essentially an honourable man, and, not +understanding the meaning of Commercial Morality, he imagined that +other men in the City were the same; consequently, he met the fate of +he who of old went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, though there was no +Samaritan to sympathise; rather otherwise, in fact, for his fellows +shook their heads scornfully over his failure, whilst admiring the +business capacity of those into whose hands his capital had passed. + +The process of Mr. Grierson's ruin had been a comparatively slow one, +the law requiring certain decencies to be observed in these matters; and +his wife was dead, and his three elder children grown up and married, +before the day when he discovered his own ruin, and took the quickest +way out of the troubles of this world. He was mad, of course; everyone +agreed on that point: not the least of the proofs being the fact that +the only message he left was a letter for Jimmy, who was then at +Sandhurst. The coroner had read the letter, and handed it back with a +remark that it had no bearing whatsoever on the case; but no one else +had seen it, nor had Jimmy given a hint of its contents to any of the +family. It concerned him alone, he said. He would have to leave +Sandhurst now and wanted to go abroad, and the others let him go, if not +gladly, at least without any great regrets. They were all provided for; +Walter was partner in a growing firm of solicitors; May had married +Henry Marlow, a stockbroker; whilst Ida's husband was, if not actually +in the City, at least very respectable, being a Northampton boot factor. +They were very fond of Jimmy, genuinely fond of him, both from the +purely correct point of view, as being their brother, and for his own +happy disposition; but, none the less, there had always been a certain +jealousy of their father's evident preference for him, a jealousy +mingled with surprise, or even resentment, Jimmy being essentially +unpractical, and almost unconventional. Moreover, they had never liked +the idea of his going to Sandhurst. None of the family had been in the +Service before; and it was a matter of common knowledge that no man +could make financial headway in the Army. So, when, through Mr. Marlow's +influence, the boy obtained a billet in China, the family heaved sighs +of relief, and though, throughout the next ten years, his sisters kept +up as regular a correspondence as his wanderings allowed, their home +concerns and increasing families inevitably weakened their interest in +him. They had their own circles, in which he had no part, though, on the +other hand, when he did think of England, which was often during those +years of hardship and disappointment, Jimmy always looked on them as +essentially his own people, to whom, one day, he would return, having no +one else.... + +Mrs. Grimmer sipped her tea slowly, and asked for further particulars +concerning the absent wanderer. + +"Does he say what he proposes to do?" + +Mrs. Marlow shook her head. "No, only that he's sick of knocking about, +and thinks he will try his luck at home. It's very selfish of him, +because he has never been a credit to us; and, of course, naturally, +everyone will know he's our brother." + +"What has he done that wasn't--wasn't quite the thing?" the visitor +asked. + +Mrs. Marlow looked a little puzzled. "Well, I don't know that there's +anything, exactly--at least that way. Only, Luke Chapman and her husband +met him in Calcutta three years ago--Mr. Chapman has a branch there, you +know--and Luke told me that he was doing nothing, and living at a queer +sort of hotel, where ships' officers and those sort of people stay, not +at all the thing. Then, you see, he's done no good. He's just as poor as +when he went out ten years ago." + +"So he's done no harm and no good. Then you can keep an open mind about +him, May. Meanwhile, if I were you, I should try and find him a wife +with money. He's sure to be interesting, you know. Men who travel +usually are. Let me know when he comes back, as I should like to meet +him again. Well, good-bye, dear, and don't worry too much about your +black sheep. The colour may come off, or you may be able to get him +whitewashed." + +"Edith Grimmer was very flippant about it," Mrs. Marlow complained to +her husband that evening, after she had shown him Jimmy's letter and had +heard his remarks thereon. "I didn't like her tone at all. She has grown +rather coarse lately, since they have got into that new set. They dine +in town a good deal now, and I'm sure they can't afford it. She's taken +to smoking cigarettes, too." + +Her husband, a small man with a waxed moustache and the most perfect +fitting clothes, frowned heavily. There had been girls, in fact there +were still some, who might blow whole clouds of cigarette smoke in his +face and only evoke a laugh from him; but they had nothing to do with +his home life. Where the latter was concerned, he was very careful; and +he fully agreed with May's prejudices. Such things injured one's +position in the neighbourhood. "Edith is a very foolish woman," he said +severely. "And Grimmer is little more sensible. He was talking a great +deal of nonsense about South African mines when we were coming down in +the train this evening. Crossley and Merchant were in the carriage, and +I am sure they were pleased when I took him up sharply. I do not know +whether he is aware that I was interested in the promotion of the +Umchabeze Gold Dredging Syndicate; if so, his remarks were positively +insulting. It seems he lost money over it. So did other people; but I +can't help that." He threw his cigar end into the fire with a rather +vicious gesture. + +His wife came across to his chair, put her hands on his shoulders, and +kissed him gently on the forehead. "Never mind, dear. You mustn't let +these silly people annoy you. I'm sorry now I worried you to-night about +my brother, Jimmy. I might have left it until the morning, when you +weren't tired." + +He drew her face down to his and returned her kiss. She was perfectly +content for him to be away all day, even for several days when he went +golfing, and he was content to go; yet, in a sense, they were lovers +still, after the fashion of those whose way through life has been easy. + +"You were quite right to mention it, dear," he said. "Of course we must +do what we can for him, have him to stay here when he lands, and so on. +I daresay he will be quite presentable, after all. Why, a man I know at +the club, Heydon, Amos Heydon, was in the East for twelve years, in a +bank I think, and you would never imagine he had been out of the City. +He's got all our ways." + +Mrs. Marlow sighed. "I hope you're right, Henry. You usually are, and +you've had so much experience. But I wish we knew what he intended to do +for a living. He is thirty now, or nearly that, and ought to be in a +better position. The whole thing is most annoying. I must take care he +does not tell the children stories which will make them dream at +nights--Harold is sure to ask him for some, and you know what a memory +the boy has. Then, too, we don't want Jimmy proposing to any of the nice +girls we know, like Laura Stephens or May Cutler; for then we should +have to confess that he had no means of any sort, and it would be +horribly humiliating. See how well those young Cutlers have got on in +their father's office. Of course, Edith Grimmer knows that Jimmy is a +failure; but she won't talk about it." + +Yet, at that very moment, Mrs. Grimmer was retailing the story of May's +troubles to her husband and a couple of guests who had been dining with +them. + +"Jimmy always was a nice boy, not a bit of a prig. But he's not what you +can call a success; and I fancy the Marlows won't want to exhibit him. +Still, I shall have him to dinner and get some nice girls to meet him." + +Grimmer laughed. He had not forgotten what had passed between Marlow and +himself in the train, and he was far from forgiving his loss over the +gold dredging syndicate. "Have him by all means, Edith, if you think it +will annoy those people. Besides, a Grierson who was interesting would +be quite a show animal." + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +Jimmy Grierson landed in England a broken man. What was almost worse, he +was aware of the fact, and, whilst he resented the way in which Fate had +dealt with him, he had no great hopes of altering things. He had drifted +so long that, somehow, he supposed he must go on drifting. John Locke +had stopped the process for a time, and given him something to stick to, +something worth doing; but a bullet from an old Remington in the hands +of a ragged Dago, a bullet probably aimed at someone else, had sent him +adrift again. True, that same Dago had gone, a few seconds later, to +whatever place there is reserved for his kind; but that did not alter +matters; it avenged, perhaps, but it could not bring back, the one man +besides his father for whom Jimmy had ever cared, who had ever +understood him, and, therefore, been able to keep him from drifting. + +His decision to return to England had been taken on the spur of the +moment, without reflection; but he held to it, because no other course +seemed to offer any better prospects. He knew, perfectly well, that +Locke's partner would not want to keep him on, and he shrank from the +ordeal of searching for employment again. He had been through it so +often before; and he had learnt, long since, that the man on the spot +only gets the temporary billets; the permanent staff is always recruited +at home. Moreover, he had the fevers of half a dozen different countries +in his system, and the shock of Locke's death brought at least one of +them to the surface. Two Dagos helped him on board ship, a wreck, and +though, physically, he was much stronger at the end of the voyage, his +nerves were far from being right. + +London extended its welcome to him in the form of a drenching rain, and +he shivered a little under the thin, ready-made overcoat he had bought +from a German store on the Coast. + +He had hoped that one of the family would have met the boat train, and +carried him off to a real home; but, though there had been a welcoming +hand for most of his fellow passengers, he, himself, scanned the crowd +in vain for a familiar face. Even those who had come across the ocean +with him seemed to forget him the moment they got out on to the +platform. He became the stranger at once; so he stood to one side until +they had all departed, feeling horribly alone. Still, he was home at +last, in his own country, and he tried to work up a proper sense of +elation as he waited in the station entrance, watching a porter hoisting +his battered trunks on to a cab. + +It was already evening, and the stream of people was flowing inwards +through the gates of the terminus, London's workers returning to those +dreary rows of villas in the suburbs, which, probably, seemed +delightfully peaceful, almost rural, by comparison with the noise and +grime of the City. Some were closing dripping umbrellas; others, having +no umbrellas, shook the rain out of the brims of theirs hats, and turned +down their soaking coat-collars as they came under shelter. All looked +more or less draggled and weary; yet you could see that they were on +their way to their own houses, where there would be someone to welcome +them, someone who had been waiting for them. Suddenly all Jimmy's sense +of loneliness came back, and he shivered again as the cab splashed out +of the muddy station yard, towards the hotel to which he had told his +people to address their letters. + +There was a letter from each of his sisters awaiting him, and he tore +them open more eagerly than was his wont. Ida, writing from her home in +Northampton, invited him to come down for a week at some vague future +date; one of the children was unwell, and until it recovered it was +impossible to fix a day. Still, they would be delighted to see him +again. Her letters always had a note of stiffness in them, which was +purely unintentional, or rather, purely natural, reflecting the one +salient point in her character. + +May's letter began with an apology. They were so sorry they could not +ask him down that night; but they had a large dinner party on, and he +would have made an odd man. Doubtless, too, he would be tired after his +journey and disinclined for such a function. The following day, however, +they would be glad to have him. It was forty minutes' run from Victoria +Station, and she would send the car to meet him at the other end. + +Jimmy thrust the letters into his pocket, and followed his luggage up to +his room, which was a perfect example of its kind, containing the +irreducible minimum of furniture an hotel guest could require, and +having, as its sole wall decoration, a notice imploring you to switch +out the electric light when you did not actually require it. He was +disappointed, though not annoyed. The excuses appeared genuine, if +rather inadequate and he never suspected that May had spent the +afternoon in a distressing state of anxiety lest he should change his +mind, and, instead of going to the hotel, come straight down in time for +dinner. + +"There is no telling what he may be like," she said to her +sister-in-law, who was staying in the house. "We must see him first +before we introduce him to people here. Why, he may not even possess a +dress suit." + +Jimmy dined in the hotel. The dining-room was very empty, and he had a +corner of it all to himself, a miserable contrast to the cheerful, +crowded saloon of the mail steamer he had quitted that morning. He ate +very little, and would not wait for coffee. He felt he must get outside +that gloomy barn of the hostelry, must go where there was life and +movement, and, and if he could find it, society. + +The rain had ceased, and, as he came out of the dull side street into +the Strand, he experienced for the first time that strange thrill, +excitement, anticipation, almost exhilaration, which only the returned +wanderer who comes back to the Greatest of Cities after years of +absence, can know. When he had driven up to the hotel, the day +population had been hurrying home through the downpour; now, though the +street and the pavements were still glistening with the wet, and there +was another deluge to come, London, the night side of London, was out as +if there was no such things as rain and mud and sodden footwear. + +Jimmy stood a couple of minutes, watching it, taking it all in, as +though he had never seen it before. A policeman on point duty eyed him +curiously, yet with no hint of suspicion. Most men, and practically +every woman, remembered Jimmy's face when they met him a second time. He +was not handsome, far from it; but, in some indefinable way, his grey +eyes suggested sympathy, whilst the poise of his head spoke of +determination verging on obstinacy. + +He was looking at the scene as a whole, rather than at individuals, and +the policeman remarked, with a kind of grim satisfaction, that he let +the women pass him unnoticed. Even when one turned back at the next +corner and repassed him slowly, he seemed not to see her. Just as he was +turning away, however, a girl's face did catch his eye, and, +unconsciously, he stopped again. She was coming out of a restaurant a +few yards away, accompanied by a man in evening dress, though she +herself was in an ordinary walking costume. Tall and very graceful, with +dark eyes and a perfect profile, she formed a curious contrast to her +short and rather stout companion. It was only a question of a minute +before they got into a waiting hansom and driven away; but, somehow, the +incident worried Jimmy. He wondered who she was, what she was, and was +so preoccupied with her that as he walked on eastwards, he hardly +noticed that he left the Strand, with its life and hurry, for the +comparative quietude of Fleet Street by night. He had come out of the +hotel intending to have a drink at the first likely-looking bar he came +to; but he was half-way between the Griffin and Ludgate Circus before he +remembered he was thirsty. + +"Hullo, Grierson, my best of piracy experts. So you've come to Fleet +Street at last, as I always said you would. Sneddon, let me introduce +Mr. Grierson, an old colleague of mine on a short-lived paper in +Shanghai. He knows more Chinese pirates than any man I ever met, not to +mention gunrunners and opium smugglers; and he's perfectly invaluable to +fill a column when the news has run short." The speaker, a man of about +Jimmy's own age, with a keen, smooth-shaven face and restless eyes, +shook hands heartily, and ordered another round of drinks. + +At the sound of his voice, Jimmy's face lit up with genuine pleasure. He +had known Douglas Kelly well on the China Coast, when the other was +editing a local paper for a starvation wage, and, as Kelly said, he had +written him many a column to fill up space with when both copy and +advertisements were short. The British and American community, being +absorbed in trade, and knowing nothing of literature, and often very +little of the English language, as is the way of its kind, had failed +to see the genius under the wild and not too temperate exterior, and had +frowned on the young editor as a rather scandalous person entirely +devoid of commercial instincts; but Jimmy had always stood by him, and +when a sudden access of wealth, in the form of a draft for sixty pounds +for a series of short stories in an American magazine, had enabled Kelly +to say good-bye both to the China Coast and to his creditors, Grierson +has regretted him as much, or even more, than had the latter. + +"So you've come to Fleet Street, at last," Kelly repeated. "I knew you +would. And I suppose you are going to enter into competition with me. I +believe you are the one man of whom I am really afraid." + +Jimmy laughed. "I only landed to-day, and I wandered down here by +chance. As for writing, I have done very little since I saw you off on +that tramp steamer. There were two or three acquaintances of yours +watching the mail boat next day on the chance of finding you." + +"Herbst, I suppose, and the other squarehead from the hotel--what was +his name?--oh, Heine, and that uncleanly Greek tailor. They were a dull +lot, and I've forgotten them long ago. Tell me about yourself. Where +have you been?" + +"India, Australia, and the Dago Republics, where I saw the beginning +and the end of various presidents. I made a couple of trips on a +blockade runner, and went on a hidden treasure hunt. It sounds all +right, thrilling and exciting, yet, when I size it up in my own mind, it +comes down to a record of fever and disappointment; with a few purple +patches which were so good that, somehow, they seem to have come out of +another man's book, instead of being my own experiences." + +Kelly stared into his glass. "I know," he said very quietly. "I know the +game, though I got out of it sooner than you did, being wiser, as I +always told you I was. I suppose you know I'm famous?" + +Jimmy smiled; long ago, Douglas Kelly had explained to him his theory of +self-advertisement, how, once he was strong enough to do so, he intended +to go in for a regular system of blatant, unblushing egotism, which +would pay equally little regard to the feelings of others and to the +recognised canons of veracity. Now, it was evident that he was +translating his theory into practice. + +"Even in the Dago countries we used to get papers containing articles of +yours," Jimmy said. "And I saw a review of one of your books. Did you +put some of our old friends of the China Coast into them?" + +Douglas Kelly shook his head emphatically. "They weren't even worth +satirising. They might take it as flattery if I remembered their very +existence.... I've done what I said I would, Grierson. I'm making a +thousand a year now." He turned to his companion. "Sneddon, you might go +back to the office, and see if there's anything doing. If anyone wants +me, say I'm busy"; then when the other had gone, "How are things with +you, Jimmy?" he asked bluntly. + +Jimmy laughed a little awkwardly. "Well, they shot my last employer, who +was also my best friend, out there; and I came home because I thought it +might change the luck." + +"So you're broke, just as I used to be?" + +"No, not exactly. I've got a few pounds left; but I've nothing to do, +and I don't know what to turn my hand to--that's all." Jimmy answered, +then as Kelly dived into his pocket and produced a cheque book, he +flushed quickly, "No, old man. If I want that, I'll come to you; but I +don't want it yet. Thanks very much, though." + +Kelly shrugged his shoulders. "You're quite a change. It's generally the +other way round. Men ask me for money, and I do the refusing." Usually, +his expression was hard, almost cynical, but as he looked at Jimmy it +softened, and he seemed to grow years younger. He was back again on the +China Coast, in the days when success was a thing of the future, and +therefore greatly to be prized. "You'll do well, Grierson, you've got it +in you, just as I had. And, after all, London is the one place, the only +market worth bringing your stuff to." + +"I will admit I had thought of writing, but I know how hard it is to get +a start, and----" Jimmy began; but Kelly cut him short. + +"Rot! It's hard for the ruck, for the ninety and nine, who, after all, +ought to find it impossible, not merely hard. But it's different for you +and me, Jimmy Grierson, because we're not in the ruck. Of course you'll +write, for it's in you, and you would be a fool to try anything else. +You won't jump into a job right away; and you'll have to fight as I +fought. I started as a sub-editor on three pounds a week, correcting the +grammar in the copy of men who were getting five times that amount--but +I can get you a start of sorts, right away. Come around now to the +_Record_ office, and I'll introduce you to Dodgson, the editor, a +perfectly uninspired person, who ought to have been a grocer's assistant +and have sung in a chapel choir. But he has the grace to realise his +limitations, and take my advice. It will mean two guineas every now and +then for a Page Four article--a thousand words, you know." + +Jimmy finished off his drink and stood up. He was beginning to +understand that, after all, there was an element of sane, cool common +sense behind Kelly's blatant self-assertiveness. It might irritate what +the other called the "ruck," but it also cowed them, and they got out of +his path; moreover, there was always the undeniable fact that the man +had genius of no common order. Jimmy had been perfectly sincere when he +said he had not come home intending to make his living by his pen. He +had thought of doing so, certainly, or rather had longed to do so; but, +like most amateurs, he had been deterred by what he had heard of the +difficulties, and had put the idea on one side. Now, however, the +proposition had come to him in a concrete form, from a man who had +succeeded, a man, moreover, who knew his capacity, and was able to judge +his prospects of success. After all, it was only part of that game of +drift which he had been playing for the last ten years; and the new +phase had this advantage--he might be able to make use of what he had +learned during the previous stages of his drifting. So he followed +Douglas Kelly out into Fleet Street, then down one of the narrow alleys, +to the _Herald_ office. + +The main entrance to the _Record_ building, that through which the +general public enters, when it wishes to pay for advertisements, or +consult the files, or order back numbers, has a rather gorgeous swing +door and a quite gorgeous door-keeper in uniform with no less than four +medal ribbons on his breast; but all this is closed in by an iron grille +when normal people leave the City, and the staff has to enter through a +small door at the back, which is guarded by an old and surly porter, +over the window of whose box hangs a peremptory and uncleanly notice +forbidding anyone to smoke in the building. + +Douglas Kelly ignored both the porter and the notice, and went straight +up to the second floor, where, after a moment's parley with a +weary-looking secretary, he and Jimmy were admitted to the editor's +room. + +Somehow, Jimmy had always pictured the editor of a great daily as a +plethoric person with keen eyes, and a background of leather-bound +volumes; but this one was thin and insignificant; there was not a single +book in his room, and, at the first glance, Jimmy was inclined to +believe that his friend had been right when he spoke of the editor +singing in a chapel choir. Yet, after Kelly had introduced him briefly, +as an old colleague, and Dodgson had put a few curt questions, Grierson +began to change his mind. + +Jimmy could talk well. He had, in an unusual degree, the art of putting +things vividly and crisply, and he possessed an extraordinary memory +for those little details which give actuality to the picture. When he +described the shooting of a presidential candidate, Dodgson could see +the man with his grimy hands and torn collar, crumpling up as the volley +from the firing party caught him. The editor himself had never come in +contact with crude realities such as this--a London County Councillor +escaping by a hair's breadth from a fully-deserved conviction for +corruption over a tramway contract was the nearest approach he had +witnessed--but he understood the value of Jimmy's reminiscences, and, +without a moment's hesitation, he asked him for an article, hinting +plainly that, if the written matter were as good as his spoken words, +the paper would be glad of many others. + +Jimmy left the room with an unwonted sense of elation. Kelly had +withdrawn immediately he had introduced his friend, but he was waiting +in the doorway. "Well, what did you do?" he asked. + +"He's going to give me a chance," Jimmy answered. Kelly nodded. "Of +course he will. He must. I introduced you. Don't you realise, James +Grierson, that I am a man they dare not offend, because the great +fool-public wants stuff with my signature; and, if the _Record_ upset +me, I could go across the road to the _Herald_ and, perhaps, get a +bigger salary? It's all a game of bluff, as I told you years ago in that +fan-tan shop in Shanghai. I know you won't bluff through as I have done, +because you have a streak of--what shall I call it?--early Victorian +modesty, in you; but still you will come out on top, because you've got +brains, instead of the whisky-soaked sponge which occupies the space +behind the brow of the average Fleet Street man." + +"I shouldn't think you're very popular in Fleet Street," Jimmy remarked +grimly. + +Douglas Kelly shrugged his shoulders. "The ruck would dislike me anyway, +because I know more than it does. Still, it need not worry. I am going +to quit journalism, and go in for fiction soon, as you will do in due +course.... What's the time?" They had come out into Fleet Street again, +and he glanced upwards at the _Telegraph's_ clock. "Half-past ten. It's +too late to take you down to stay at my place, as I can't telephone to +my wife. So I may as well stay in town. We'll wander round a bit, and +after closing time, I'll take you up to one of my clubs." + +"Your wife. So you're married?" Jimmy smiled, as though at some +recollection. "You seem to have done pretty well all round; whilst I am +still where I was." + +The other took him up sharply, "Still where you were. Why, you've got +your head full of copy, and you're right at your market, instead of +being on that forsaken China Coast. Well, let's have a drink here for a +start." + + + + +CHAPTER III + + +Jimmy awoke in the morning with a slight headache, and a fixed +determination not to go out again with Douglas Kelly. True, it had cost +him nothing, Kelly having carried him from one club to another, cashing +a cheque at each, and spending the proceeds with such freedom as to +evoke a protest from his guest. + +"I want to impress you," Kelly had retorted. "I want to show you how +well I've done. I always do the same when I get hold of any of you +fellows from out there. Yet," he paused and looked at the other keenly, +"you're such a queer beggar, that I don't suppose you are impressed. I +needn't have tried it on you, after all," but, none the less, he had +declined to let his companion go, and it had been past three when a +sleepy night porter admitted Jimmy to the hotel, Kelly having declared +his intention of taking a room at the club they had visited last. + +Jimmy drew up his blind to find the sun shining in a cloudless sky, and +his spirits went up at once. As a result of the deluge of the night +before, London looked almost clean and bright, and he began to wonder +at his depression of the previous evening. After all, it was very good +to be home again, and, thanks to Kelly, he had already made a small +start, which might lead to much bigger things. Kelly, himself, had +arrived in England with nothing, an unknown man. + +From Kelly, his mind worked backwards to the girl he had seen enter the +cab. It was curious how her face seemed fixed in his memory. The thought +of her, and of her possible story, worried him all the time he was +shaving, and he found himself wishing he had never noticed her. Somehow, +he did not like the look of her companion, who seemed to treat her with +a very perfunctory sort of courtesy, verging on familiarity, or even +contempt. He was still thinking of her when he went down to breakfast; +but the sight of a copy of the _Record_, the first real English daily he +had seen for many years, a paper, moreover, which wanted him to write +for it, changed the current of his thoughts, and he forgot all about the +girl. + +Dodgson had told him there was no hurry for the article, any time within +the next week or so would do, and he, himself, knew that it would be +impossible to write in the dreary atmosphere of the hotel; so he decided +to go down to the City and call on his brother, Walter. There was no +one else he wanted to see in town. All his former acquaintances had +dropped clean out of his life, or, rather, he had dropped out of theirs; +and, probably, he could not have found one of them, even had he wished +to do so, which was not the case. He was a very lonely man, he told +himself; and yet he did not feel bitter about that fact as he had done +on the previous night; his meeting with Kelly, and the new hope with +which the other had infused him, had changed his views greatly. Now, it +seemed as if he had a prospect of doing something definite, of starting +on a new career, his success in which would depend entirely on his own +exertions. + +Walter Grierson was a short, clean-shaven man with a decidedly pompous +manner. He had been very successful in his profession, owing to his +energy, rather than to his mental capacity, and he regarded unsuccessful +men as little better than criminals. His whole outlook on life was +severe, except in his own home, where he was a generous husband and +indulgent father. Never having been tempted himself, he had no sympathy +with those who fell, being quite unable to understand them. Steadiness +was the virtue he most admired in younger men, meaning by that term the +capacity for choosing and sticking to an orthodox method of livelihood +and for maintaining an unwavering respectability of conduct. Jimmy's +career, the wanderings from one country to another, the continual +changes of occupation, had been a very real grief to him, violating as +it did every canon of his creed. No one could call his brother steady. + +Walter Grierson was engaged when Jimmy called, and the visitor spent +half an hour glancing round the gloomy office, and wondering how anyone +could be content to spend his days in such a place. He wanted to smoke, +but something in the attitude of the clerks restrained him, and he put +his cigarette case back into his pocket. He was not sure about the three +younger ones, whether they would be scandalised, or whether the smell of +the tobacco would arouse cruel longings which could not be satisfied +until the too-brief luncheon hour came round; but there was no mistaking +the reprobation in the old managing clerk's face. Even their richest +clients knew better than to disturb the microbes on the upper shelves +with their smoke. Those same clients were all City men, dignified, and +understanding the ways of the City, which are very different from those +of San Francisco or Johannesburg. In London, it is only foreigners and +green-fruit brokers and such like doubtful people, with neither +self-respect nor position to maintain, who break the City's law. +Stockbrokers are, of course, men apart from the rest. They draw most of +their customers from a class which knows nothing of business; and must +therefore be humoured; moreover, a little eccentricity, a +lightheartedness, verging at times on the clownish, is useful, for, if +duly reported, it procures the Stock Exchange a free advertisement in +the Press. Even Mr. Marlow had been known to play football with a silk +hat and wave a little Union Jack, when the news of a British victory, +which meant an improvement in the Market, was recorded in a special +edition. But his brother-in-law, Walter Grierson, had never done any of +these things, having neither the need, nor the desire, for +advertisement. Jimmy did not know the City, but he knew a good deal of +mankind, and he gleaned something of the spirit and traditions of that +office, as his eyes wandered from the rows of black, shiny deed boxes to +the equally shiny pate of the managing clerk, and then to the +drab-looking girl typist, pale-faced and narrow-chested, who seemed to +finger the key-board as though the maddening click of her abominable +machine had killed any individuality she might once have had, and turned +her into a mere part of the mechanism of the City. The one spot of +colour in the office was an insurance company's calendar, and, even on +that, the design was crude and the inscription little more than a dull +list of figures. Jimmy sighed, pitying them all. He did not know that +those who have never experienced the crude things of life seldom have +any desire for them. Being prosaic, they are satisfied with prosaic +surroundings, which is a fortunate thing in an essentially prosaic age. +There is very little room for romance in a world which gauges success by +the measure of a reputed bank balance. + +At last, the client, who proved to have side whiskers and an +ivory-handled umbrella, took his departure, and Walter Grierson came out +in his wake. The solicitor greeted Jimmy, if not warmly, at least +sincerely; then sat down and slowly took stock of the returned wanderer. + +"You look better than I expected from what May told me you had said in +your last letter. Yes, you look decidedly better. Still, you have +changed a great deal, changed in many ways." He adjusted his gold-rimmed +pince-nez, in order to make a closer scrutiny. + +Jimmy laughed. "Well, you must remember, it's ten years since you saw me +last, and I wasn't very old then. You, yourself, look exactly the same. +I should have known you anywhere. How are Janet and the children?" + +Walter Grierson's face brightened perceptibly. He was a family man above +everything, and he gave his brother very full details. "Let me see, +you've never seen George and Christine, have you?" he asked at the end +of the recital. + +Jimmy shook his head. "No, I have seven or eight unknown nephews and +nieces to inspect, or I'm not sure that it isn't nine. I've rather lost +count." + +The elder man frowned slightly; it was not quite the thing to refer to +members of the family in that flippant way. Surely Jimmy could recollect +the number of his sister's children. He gave the tally of the latter, +with their names and ages, and with guarded comments on their +peculiarities, from which Jimmy gathered that they were decidedly +inferior to the little Walter Griersons. And after that there came a +pause, short in duration, certainly, but very significant. After ten +years' separation the brothers had exhausted their subjects of mutual +interest in little over ten minutes. + +Jimmy fingered the cigarette case in his pocket, knowing the consolation +and the wisdom to be found in tobacco; but he did not like to produce +it, and he had already noted that Walter's room was innocent of any +ash-tray; so, instead, he racked his brains for a new topic of +conversation. At last: + +"You're the sole partner here now, aren't you?" he asked. + +Walter nodded. "Yes, Jardine died three years back, and I don't want +anyone else till I can take in Ralph, my eldest boy. He has a nasty +cold, or you would have seen him in the office." He shook his head, as +though at the thought of the dangerous after-effects of colds, and it +struck Jimmy that, for a man of forty-three or forty-four, Walter was +very old and stuffy. He, himself, often felt old and more than a little +weary, but in quite another way. He was not snuffly and solemn in +consequence; it was only that he knew his youth was slipping from him +fast, perhaps had already slipped from him, as is the case with every +European who stays too long in countries made for the coloured man, and +it irritated him to think that, if success ever did come to him, it +would probably be when he had lost the capacity for enjoyment. + +"Have you made any plans for your future movements?" Walter asked +suddenly. + +Jimmy started. "Well, yes--at least, last night I met an old friend of +mine, and he advised me to go in for writing. I've done a bit of it, of +course, and this man, Douglas Kelly--I expect you know his name." Walter +shook his head; he never read anything except the _Times_. "He's a man +who's made a big hit, and he knows what I can do. So I think of taking +his advice. The _Record_ has already asked me for an article." + +Once more, Walter Grierson frowned, and then he sighed. The only +journalists he had ever met had been connected with financial papers, +and his negotiations with them had taught him the subtleties of +scientific blackmail. Being a man of little imagination, though of +retentive memory, he judged the whole profession by the two or three +members of it, or rather pseudo-members, he had been unfortunate enough +to encounter professionally. + +"I am sorry to hear your decision, Jimmy," he said. "Very sorry, indeed. +You will find it a most precarious way of life, and it will bring you +into contact with highly undesirable people. I had hoped, we had all +hoped, that now you had returned you would settle down to something +steady. Personally, I think you will be making a great mistake. But I +suppose you know your own business best." He shook his head, as though, +in his own mind, he was quite sure Jimmy did not know anything of the +sort. + +Then, once more, there was an awkward pause, and it was a relief to both +of the brothers when the junior clerk came in with a card in his hand. +Walter Grierson glanced at the name, then got up. "I am sorry, Jimmy; +but this is a man with whom I had made an appointment. I would ask you +to lunch with me, but there is more than a probability of my having to +take him out. You must come down and stay with us soon. Janet told me to +give you her love, and ask you to fix a date. I am very glad you called. +Give my love to May when you see her to-night. And, Jimmy," he hesitated +a little, "of course it is not for me to advise you; but I do wish you +would reconsider that decision of yours. It's a most precarious calling, +most precarious, and, I am afraid, one full of temptations." There was +perfectly genuine concern in his voice, and yet, within a couple of +minutes, Jimmy and his affairs were clean out of his mind, and he was +deep in the business of his client. + +Jimmy lighted a cigarette on the landing outside his brother's office; +but neither the tobacco, nor the drink he had a few minutes later, could +alleviate his sense of disappointment. He was a very lonely man. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + + +The Marlow motor-car, large and luxurious, with red panels and an +expensive alien chauffeur, met Jimmy at the station. Mrs. Marlow hurried +down to the hall as she heard the throbbing of the engine outside the +front door, and greeted her brother with emotion which verged on tears. + +"I am very glad to see you again, Jimmy, dear," she said, kissing him a +second time. "And Henry, too, is delighted to have you. Of course, you +have grown a great deal older, but I don't know that you have changed +very much." She scrutinised his face, then noted, with something akin to +dismay, that his clothes, though well cut, were neither new nor +fashionable. + +Jimmy, on his part, was trying to readjust his ideas. He had been +picturing May as still rather rosy and inclined to plumpness, +essentially suggestive of good nature and repose; now, he saw her thin, +almost angular, a little hard of feature, though retaining some of her +good looks. In his calculations, he had forgotten the four children she +had brought into the world since he had seen her last. + +May asked him a number of questions about himself, his health, and his +doings, hardly waiting for his answers before passing on to something, +fresh, and hardly listening when she did allow him time to reply; then-- + +"I'll take you up to your room," she said. "Your trunks have gone up +already. I have had to give you one of the smaller spare rooms, because +my sister-in-law will be back to-night--you remember Laura, of +course--and there may be someone else coming to-morrow." At the door of +his room she paused. "Dinner is at half-past seven. We always dress, but +don't you trouble, if you would rather not, or, or----" She stammered a +little. + +Jimmy understood. "I always retained my suit through all my ups and +downs," he said with a smile. "It is the one absolute essential. It will +get you credit when nothing else will. Many a time I have gone to an +hotel with only the suit and a lot of old newspapers in my trunk, and +not five dollars in my pocket." + +Mrs. Marlow did not smile. Instead, she looked as she felt, shocked and +pained; and as she went downstairs she was casting round for some scheme +to stop Jimmy's flow of reminiscences. It would never do for him to talk +in that way before people like the Graylings or the Bashfords; whilst, +if the servants were to hear him, it would be all round the +neighbourhood in a couple of days that Mrs. Marlow's brother was, or had +been, a penniless adventurer. + +Jimmy did not come down till the dinner gong went; consequently, after +he had shaken hands with Henry Marlow, they went straight into the +dining-room, and May lost her chance of saying anything. + +Marlow himself was hungry and ate heartily, and the guest was distinctly +tired, thanks to Douglas Kelly; as a result, there was little said +during the first three courses, except by Mrs. Marlow, who gave her +husband a full account of all her own and the children's doings for that +day, and the names of the people on whom she had called, and of other +visitors whom she had met at their houses. Once or twice she tried to +include Jimmy in the conversation, by asking if he did not remember this +one or that, friends she had known before she was married; but, in every +case, they were merely names to him; they had all been grown up when he +was still at school, and now, after having forgotten their very +existence for ten years, he could not feel the slightest interest in +them. + +After a while, Marlow, having taken the edge off his appetite, asked him +a few questions about his wanderings, but paid little heed to his +answers. Even when Jimmy told, in his essentially picturesque way, the +story of John Locke's death, his brother-in-law merely remarked that +such things were never allowed to occur in the British Empire, though, +doubtless, they were to be expected under governments which had injured +the market so greatly in the past by repudiating their bargains. Their +debased silver currency and their worthless paper money were an absolute +scandal, he added. + +May, on her part, gave a little gasp when told of the end of Locke's +slayer; then, looking up, and seeing the parlour-maid standing +open-mouthed, with a sauce-boat balanced on a tray at a most dangerous +angle, she felt it was time to intervene. + +"Please don't give us any more horrors, Jimmy. We are not used to them +here. Mary," severely, to the parlour-maid, "the master's plate." + +Jimmy flushed and said no more; and, apparently, they were perfectly +content that it should be so, for the subject of his travels dropped, +and was not resumed, either then or afterwards. He saw that they were +not interested, even though they were his own people; and he listened in +silence when his sister went back to the apparently inexhaustible +subject of their friends. Certainly, whilst they sat smoking after +dinner, Henry Marlow did ask his guest some more questions, a great +many more in fact, and listened with considerable attention to the +replies; but, as Jimmy noted with a kind of grim amusement, they were +all of an impersonal nature, having reference solely to mining +conditions in South American states. Jimmy's own experiences at the +hands of Dago patriots left his brother-in-law unmoved, being things +which belonged rather to books, and certainly had no part in the lives +of people of position; but the effect of those same patriots' doings on +the development of the country, and, consequently, on the profits of +British Enterprise, aroused his bitterest wrath. Once, some years +before, he had lost over a thousand pounds through a new president +revoking a lead-mining concession which his predecessor had granted; +and, that predecessor having been sent where neither letters nor writs +could reach him, none of the purchase money had been recovered despite +the efforts of the Foreign Office. Mr. Marlow, himself, had never +forgiven either the Dagos or the diplomatists, especially as the +concession had eventually gone to a German firm, which had made a clear +half-million out of it; and he argued, not without reason, that the most +effective form of negotiation would have been a whiff of grapeshot, or +its modern equivalent, from the guns of a British cruiser. + +Jimmy listened patiently to the grievance, which took some time in the +telling, involving, as it did, full details of the careers and financial +standing of the directors of the ill-fated company, men of position and +weight in the City, who deserved very different treatment. + +"Disgraceful business, disgraceful," Henry added. "To think that the +British Government should allow us to be robbed by a snuff-coloured +rascal like that. Did you ever come across him?" + +"Who? President Montez?" Jimmy laughed apologetically. "I'm very sorry; +but I helped him with that revolution. I was pretty hard up at the time, +and I knew something about field guns, so they gave me a job." + +Mr. Marlow apparently saw nothing at which to laugh; in fact, he frowned +slightly. He held rather strong views on the subject of law and order; +moreover, there were people who would be very ready to sneer if they +heard Jimmy's story of the affair. But his chief thought was, as usual, +for his wife, who would be annoyed were she to learn the part Jimmy had +played. + +"I shouldn't tell May, if I were you," he said. "In fact, I don't think +I should tell anyone. You see, it's not--what shall I say?--quite the +thing to be mixed up in those affairs, and it would stand in your light +over here, socially as well as from a practical point of view. You +understand?" + +Jimmy nodded; at least he was beginning to understand. + +May was doing some fancy work when they joined her in the drawing-room; +but she glanced up with a smile as Jimmy entered, and told him to take +the chair next to hers. After all, he looked presentable, this brother +of hers, at any rate, in evening dress, a little thin for his height and +rather yellow in the face perhaps, but still there was about him a +certain indefinable air of distinction which most men she knew lacked. +There were girls who might even call him handsome. As she thought of +that, her mouth hardened momentarily. She must guard against any folly +of that sort by not introducing him in dangerous quarters until he was +in a very much better position financially. The last thought suggested a +question she had been intending to ask him at the first opportunity. + +"What are you thinking of doing now, Jimmy? I suppose you still intend +to remain at home?" + +Henry Marlow muttered something about the evening paper. He was always +tactful where his wife was concerned, and this was a Grierson concern, +in which he might seem an intruder. May would tell him anything there +was to tell later. + +Jimmy, remembering Walter's reception of his news, hesitated slightly. +The assurance with which Douglas Kelly's words had filled him was oozing +out rather rapidly. It was one thing to decide on a literary career when +one was in a Bohemian club and the time was long after midnight; but, +somehow, in an essentially staid drawing-room, where there was more than +a hint of Victorian influence in the furniture, and with a sense of a +heavy dinner still oppressing him, matters seemed different. After all, +it was only natural that it should be so. He was a Grierson, with a +veneration for conventions in his blood, and, in the appropriate +surroundings, the force, so long latent as to be practically forgotten, +began to make itself felt, not very strongly, perhaps, but still the +fact remained that it was there. Just as his father had given in at +last, and gone to the City, so, for a moment, it seemed to Jimmy that he +must go. But then he remembered Walter's office, where you could not +smoke, and the only spot of colour was that inartistic insurance +calendar with its grim lists of figures. + +"I'm going to write," he said, "or at least try to write. I think I can +make a living at it. It's worth trying. There's nothing else, you see," +he added, a little lamely. + +May stopped in the middle of a stitch, and stared at him with something +akin to dismay. She remembered an article of his she had once read, +unsigned to be sure, and only in an obscure Hong Kong paper, but so +painfully outspoken that she had shown it to no one, not even to her +husband; and then rose up before her the vision of him writing similar +articles for London journals, and of the world, her world, knowing him +to be the author. She recognised her brother's cleverness, and it never +entered into her head to doubt that he could get his work into print; +she knew nothing of the financial side of journalism, and, for the +moment, what had formerly seemed the all-important question, Jimmy's +method of livelihood, was thrust into the background, owing to her fear +that he would do something to compromise both himself and his family. + +Yet, the idea had taken her so greatly by surprise that at first she did +not know what to say. She was not afraid of offending Jimmy or of +hurting his feelings. To her, he was still a boy, who would; or at least +should, listen to her advice. + +"Surely you don't mean that, Jimmy," she began. "I never dreamt of your +contemplating such a thing; and I shall be very sorry if you go on with +it. I am certain you will do yourself a lot of harm, for I know from +your letters that you have picked up a number of curious, and even +improper, ideas. We are all aware that there is a low public taste which +likes these things; but there are already more than enough writers +providing them. We had hoped that when you came home you would settle +down to regular work of some sort." + +Jimmy had coloured a little. "What sort?" he asked quietly. + +It was May's turn to flush; she did not quite like his tone, and, +moreover, she had no answer ready. "Some business, of course," she +answered tartly. "You have no profession. Henry has promised to see if +any of his friends have vacancies in their offices. I suppose you have +saved enough to keep you for a little while?" + +Her brother got up rather suddenly. He had been alone so long, playing a +lone hand, that he had forgotten the great unwritten law of the Family +Inquisition, whose main clause is that the common rules of courtesy do +not apply when two of the same blood meet; but still, he recognised the +genuine kindness underlying the inquiry, and stifled his resentment, +which May would not have understood, because she and Walter and Ida were +in the habit of asking each other similar blunt questions. + +"For a short time," he answered. "Enough for a week or two, and a friend +on the Press has put me in the way of getting one commission already. +As for a City office, I couldn't stand it for a day." + +Mrs. Marlow put another stitch in her fancy work, then pulled her thread +a little viciously, breaking it. "Well, I hope you will be careful, and +not write anything we need feel ashamed of. Remember, that though you +may have no position to lose, we have one." + +"You needn't be afraid of that, May." There was a suspicion of scorn, +and more than a suspicion of anger, in his voice. "It doesn't make much +difference if I don't write under my own name, so long as I can get the +dollars, which are what I'm out for." + +Mrs. Marlow gave in with a sigh. After all, so long as he kept the +family name out of print, there would not be much harm done; and it was +a relief to find that he looked at matters from a practical point of +view. Of course, he ought to have accepted Henry's assistance and gone +into the City; but if he would not do so, as seemed to be the case, it +was some consolation to find that he was apparently anxious to make +money in other ways. + +But when she talked the matter over with her husband after Jimmy had +gone up to bed, Henry Marlow shook his head. His opinions coincided +exactly with those of Walter Grierson. "A most precarious occupation," +he said, "and one which I should certainly not allow our boys to take +up. It's a great pity, as I believe I could have got him into Foulger's +office--Foulger and Hilmon, you know, the jobbers." + +Upstairs, Jimmy was smoking and staring into his fire. Somehow, he felt +very disappointed, as though he had been working on a false assumption, +and must readjust his ideas and then start afresh. He was little more at +home than he had been the previous night in the hotel. + + + + +CHAPTER V + + +The hours of Jimmy's stay with the Marlows dragged by slowly. The +children, four boys, proved uninteresting in the extreme, whilst between +himself and Laura Marlow, May's sister-in-law, there was little in +common. Two other guests, an elderly aunt and uncle of Henry's, arrived +in time for dinner on the second night, and Jimmy retired more and more +into the background, or, rather, he found himself in the background by a +kind of natural sequence. No one wanted to put him there; in fact, both +his brother-in-law and his sister were kindness itself; but he was the +outsider in the party, sharing none of the interests of the others. + +He had been invited for a week, at least, longer if possible; yet at the +end of three days he was longing for an excuse to get back to town, +where he intended to take rooms; but no excuse presented itself, and so +he stayed on, spending most of his time in the billiard-room, a part of +the house seldom used in the daytime, writing, or trying to write, some +of the articles which Douglas Kelly had suggested. He had sent his copy +in to the _Record_, and each morning, immediately after breakfast, he +strolled down to the little news agent's shop to buy a copy of the +paper--Mr. Marlow took no halfpenny journals--but when Sunday came round +it had not appeared. + +The Marlows were regular church-goers, at least Mrs. Marlow was, and her +husband always accompanied her when he was not away at the seaside, +golfing. May took her religion as part of her settled order of +existence. She had been bred up in it, and she would have resented any +attack on it as fiercely as she would have resented the abolition of +class distinctions. She believed in it, and, in a sense, she loved it; +but, with the one exception of her father's tragic death, her way +through life had been so smooth that she had never felt the need of its +consolations, and, consequently, had never analysed it in any way. Doubt +had never entered into her mind, because her creed seemed to suit her +circumstances so admirably. The well-dressed congregation, the +well-trained choir, the cushioned seats and reserved pews, the suave, +optimistic rector, and deferential curates--these were all part of a +nicely balanced state of society which kept motor-cars, or at least +broughams, and paid its tradesmen's bills by cheque on the first of the +month. + +Henry Marlow seldom, if ever, gave the matter a thought; but he +subscribed generously when asked by the rector, and he kept the Ten +Commandments scrupulously, so far as his home life was concerned. He +respected the Church, as something which stood for solidity and the +security of property, like Consols and the Mansion House, and he +regarded Dissenters in much the same light as he did outside brokers, as +persons who should be watched by the police. He did not try to worship +both God and Mammon simultaneously; but, wholly unconsciously, he +divided his life into two parts, that which he spent in the City, and +that which he spent outside the Square Mile, and so avoided the +difficulty. + +Jimmy, on the other hand, had heard very few services during the last +ten years, and of those the majority had been read by a layman, and had +begun with the words "I am the resurrection and the life, saith the +Lord." Lack of opportunity had kept him from attending in the first +case, and, after a while, having lost the habit of his boyhood, he had +ceased to think of taking such opportunities as did offer. + +"I think it must be five years at least since I went to anything but a +funeral service," he remarked to May, as they walked towards the big +red-brick church. + +Mrs. Marlow threw a swift glance over her shoulder, fearing her other +guests, who were following, might have heard. "Hush, Jimmy," she said. +"It sounds so bad. Never say that again, especially before the servants. +The rector's housemaid is sister to my parlour-maid, and it would be +sure to get round to him. Of course, I know you have been in wild places +where there were no churches, and we understand, but others might not. +And all our friends are Church-people." + +Jimmy dropped the subject, and a few minutes later he was following her +rustling skirts up the broad centre aisle to the pew four rows back from +the pulpit. He wished it had not been so far forward, because the +worshippers interested him, if only by reason of their sameness of type. +You could see they were all people of position, with regular incomes and +hereditary political convictions, solid people of that slow-moving, +tenacious class which is the real backbone of the country, holding, as +it does, the greater part of the wealth, and producing, often by a kind +of apparent accident, the greater part of the intellect. + +Jimmy belonged to them by birth, and yet, as he sat amongst them, +listening to the lisping voice of the senior curate, he found it hard to +realise the fact. He tried his best to follow the service, to keep his +mind on it, but, somehow, the whole atmosphere seemed wrong. The church +was a modern one, the work of a famous architect, and, therefore, +grossly inartistic, lacking every feature which makes for solemnity and +beauty. The detail was coarse and roughly finished, the red-brick walls, +as always, an offence to the eye; big texts seemed to squirm, like +semi-paralysed eels, over the chancel arch and round the East window. +The latter, off which Jimmy could hardly take his eyes, was a veritable +triumph of the Victorian tradition. Its colouring was gruesome, its +design grotesque; and yet it was a source of great pride to the +congregation as a whole, having been put in to the memory of a banker +who had left nearly a million. They no more dreamed of doubting its +artistic merits than they did of questioning the religion it was +supposed in some vague way to typify. + +The singing was good, the sermon grammatical and well delivered, and yet +Jimmy left the church with a feeling of dissatisfaction. He had expected +that this, his first service in England after ten years, would have +carried him back to the days when he knew nothing of the Tree of +Knowledge; but, instead of that, it had made no appeal to him. Its +poetry was destroyed by the hideousness of the surroundings; whilst even +the glorious words of the Benediction seemed but a perfunctory +dismissal, giving the congregation leave to hasten away to the heavy +dinners which were awaiting it at home. + +He was very silent on his way back, thinking of the past, and he was +only recalled to the present when May, seeing him producing his +cigarette case, thought it time to speak. + +"Jimmy," she said, rather severely, "it is hardly correct to smoke on +your way home from church. People notice that sort of thing so much." + +Her brother coloured, and thrust the case back into his pocket. A minute +later, he heard his sister's name spoken, and a tall, well-dressed woman +hurried up from behind. + +"I have been trying to overtake you for the last five minutes, May," she +said. "Only you have been walking as if you were very, very hungry," +then, disregarding Mrs. Marlow's little snort of annoyance, she turned +to Jimmy, "Don't you remember me, Jimmy--Mr. Grierson I suppose I ought +to say--I'm Ethel Grimmer, Ethel Jardine that was." + +Jimmy laughed and took the outstretched hand. + +"Of course I remember you now; but when I saw you in church where I +could only catch your profile obliquely, I was not quite sure who you +were. I didn't know you lived down here." + +Mrs. Grimmer laughed too, but mentally she registered another grievance +against May. So this Jimmy Grierson, who dressed quite decently after +all, and had a distinctly interesting face, was to be kept in the +background. + +"I suppose you and May have found so much to talk about," she said. "I'm +sure you must, after being apart all these years, and you have such a +lot to tell." She was a handsome woman with fine eyes, and she knew how +to use them. "When May has done with you, or rather when she can spare +you for an hour or two, you must come and see us--Jimmy." She blushed a +little. "When will you let him come, May? How would dinner on Tuesday +do? I know you and Henry are going to the Foulgers' that night, and this +poor boy will be alone." + +May bit her lip to repress an exclamation of annoyance. She did not want +Jimmy to go to the Grimmers', but it was impossible to deny the +engagement with the Foulgers, and equally impossible to say that Jimmy +was going there with her--Ethel Grimmer knew how many people the Foulger +dining table would seat; so she gave in, and Jimmy arranged to go, +showing rather more eagerness over his acceptance than May considered +necessary. Indeed, she remarked so much to her husband whilst she was +taking off her hat; then a sudden thought struck her, and she paused, +with her fingers still grasping a half-withdrawn hatpin. + +"Henry, do you remember what a silly fuss Ethel used to make over Jimmy, +just before he went abroad, how they used to go cycling together. Of +course, she's years older than he is, but still----" + +Marlow nodded solemnly; he had never really liked the Grimmers, and he +knew that, several times lately, Ethel had gone out of her way to annoy +his wife, whilst Grimmer himself had behaved like a fool over the Gold +Dredging Company, actually hinting that, because they knew each other +socially, he ought to have been warned when the thing was going wrong. +As if sentiment of that sort could be allowed to intrude on business. +Billy Grimmer had been in the City over twenty years, and it was quite +time he knew its ways. + +"Ethel is a vain, flighty woman," Marlow said, in reply to his wife's +remark. "She likes to have young men like Jimmy trailing after her; and +Grimmer only laughs. I suppose it's what they call being 'smart.' Pity +he doesn't put a little more smartness into his business affairs." He +chuckled slightly at the recollection of the dredging shares, which had +been some of those he, himself, had received as vendor. "Still, Jimmy +is old enough to take care of himself now," he went on, "and, after +all, he will be going back to town a day or two later." + +But May shook her head. "I must warn him not to talk too much--he seems +terribly indiscreet--and I think I shall give him a plain hint about +falling in love, and so on. From what Ethel said the other day, she is +quite capable of getting some silly girls with money to meet him." + +Meanwhile, Jimmy was staring out of the window of the billiard-room, and +smiling a little grimly at the memories which his meeting with Mrs. +Grimmer had reawakened. They had been very great friends in his +Sandhurst days, although she was several years his senior; and, for a +month or two after his departure from England, he had slept with her +photo under his pillow, and tried to imagine her warm farewell kisses on +his lips; and then, somehow, the photo had got mislaid, and the other +recollections had begun to lose their actuality, and when, a year later, +he had received the news of her engagement, he had written her a hearty, +and perfectly sincere, letter of congratulation. It would be distinctly +amusing to meet her under the new conditions, and see how much she was +disposed to remember. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + + +On Tuesday morning Jimmy opened the _Record_ as usual at page 4, and the +first thing that caught his eye was his own article. He glanced down it +quickly, with an unusual sense of exaltation: never before had anything +of his appeared in a great London daily; and the _Record's_ circulation +ran to a considerable fraction of a million. There was no one with him +to whom he could show it; but he was passing an hotel, the "Railway +Tavern," and he turned in at the door, to celebrate his luck, and read +his work through quietly. + +The barmaid, who was polishing her spirit measures, looked at him +curiously. "You seem mighty pleased about something," she said at last, +perhaps a little resentfully, as though feeling that her own rather, +full-blown charms deserved more attention than the paper. + +Jimmy glanced up with a smile. "There's an article of mine here," he +said, holding out the sheet. + +The girl knit her brow and spelled out the heading. "My! Is that your +writing? What's it all about. Anything spicy?" But, though she was +regarding him with more interest than before, she made no attempt to +read his work. + +Jimmy finished his drink and folded up the paper. Somehow, at the second +reading, it had not seemed so good. There were at least two clumsy +sentences, and the fool of a printer had chopped out half a dozen +commas. He could see now where he could have made several improvements, +and he had little doubt that Dodgson would see too, and, perhaps, reckon +him a careless workman. He had yet to learn how much, or how little, the +public recks of either grammar or punctuation, how it prefers +semi-truths tempered by split infinitives to facts stated in balanced +prose. + +As he came out of the hotel, his mind was full of the career which +seemed to lie ahead of him, and he did not notice Laura Marlow walking +up the other side of the road; but Miss Marlow saw him, saw too where he +had been, and duly reported the fact to May when she returned to the +house. + +Jimmy found his sister in her boudoir, busy with her tradesmen's books, +searching for the errors which certainly would have been there had the +butcher and the baker and the grocer not learned long since that Mrs. +Marlow was in the habit of checking her accounts, a habit which they +viewed with a mixture of scorn and wrath, tempered by not a little fear. +They regarded her much as a municipal politician regards a chartered +accountant; but they knew it was useless to add up two and five as +eight, or to charge for fresh butter when cooking butter had been +ordered. May allowed no one to rob her husband, even of a halfpenny. +They called her a hard woman, and said many bitter things about her as +they foregathered outside the chapel after service; but, none the less, +they supplied her with far better goods than those they sent to Mrs. +Grimmer, who paid her bills spasmodically, without attempting to check +them. + +May glanced at the paper her brother held out, but she did not attempt +to take it. "I will read it by and by, when I've time," she said; then +she noticed his name below the heading and frowned. "I thought you were +going to write under an assumed name," she added. + +Jimmy coloured slightly. "I've changed my mind," he said, rather +shortly. "I don't see why I should disguise myself. It's nothing to be +ashamed of, as you'll see if you read it." + +His sister sighed and picked up her pencil again. "I must get on with +these tiresome tradesmen's books. Oh, don't leave that paper there, +Jimmy." He had put it down on the table. "There's so much litter about +already. I'll ask you for it later." + +Jimmy picked up the _Record_ again and left the room without another +word. His sister's apparent lack of interest hurt him more than he cared +to acknowledge, even to himself; and his sense of grievance deepened as +the day went by without her making any other reference to his article. +Yet, after lunch, she found time to put in an hour studying a children's +fashion paper with the greatest attention. He had the cutting from the +_Record_ in his pocket-book, ready for her or any of the other guests to +see, but it remained there until the evening, and when he dressed to go +to the Grimmers' he left it behind deliberately. He was not going to +risk another snub. + +On entering the Grimmer drawing-room, however, Ethel met him with a copy +of the paper in her hand. + +"Billy just brought this home from town," she said. "A man showed it to +him in the train. I like it very much indeed, and so does my husband." +She paused and gave a little laugh. "It's awfully nice of you to come, +Jimmy, and--and, not be jealous or anything silly. Still, that was all +years ago, wasn't it?" + +"You look just the same," he answered, smiling back at her. + +She laughed again, flattered, and yet relieved at his tone--some men do +remember such a stupidly long time, and she had half feared lest her +guest might be one of them. "Now you are being silly," she answered, +lightly. "I am sure May wouldn't approve of that. But I know you're +going to be good, and, as a reward, I've got two very nice girls for you +to meet. Ah, here's Billy." Then she introduced the two men, adding, +"Billy knows all about you already." + +The nice girls proved to be respectively Miss Farlow, the daughter of +the rector, and Miss Barton, whose mother had a large house next to that +of the Marlows, for whom she entertained that measure of good will which +usually exists between near neighbours; but, none the less, she was very +pleasant to Jimmy, knowing nothing of his financial position. Young men +were by no means plentiful in the neighbourhood. + +The rector, too, was pleasant, for very similar reasons, although, as a +matter of fact, he was affable to all his parishioners and their +relatives. There were no poor amongst his flock, no self-evident black +sheep, and, consequently, he was able to know every member of his +congregation socially, which, as he was never tired of repeating, was +most comforting to a conscientious man. + +Mrs. Grimmer, having secured Jimmy, did not mean to allow his light to +remain hidden, as May apparently intended it should be; consequently, +dinner had scarcely begun before she started to draw him out +scientifically, and, after the dullness of the last few days, her guest +was not loath to talk. He was always interesting, but this time he was +almost brilliant; and when Ethel gave the signal to the other ladies, +she left the room feeling that she had scored greatly over Mrs. Marlow, +who would now have to explain why she had kept this distinctly +interesting brother in the background. Grimmer, too, was pleased, +foreseeing a chance of annoying Marlow in the train by bringing up the +subject of Jimmy's adventures. + +Ethel managed to keep her guest until the others had gone, and even then +she did not seem inclined to let him go. + +"Stay and have a whisky and soda and another cigar with Billy. I know +you would like one, and I'm quite sure it won't hurt that fat butler of +May's to sit up an extra half-hour to let you in. I don't suppose May +has given you a latchkey." + +Jimmy shook his head at the latter suggestion, then followed her into +the smoking-room. + +"I think I shall have a cigarette, too, Billy," she said to her husband, +after she had settled her rather elaborate draperies into a big leather +chair, "only you mustn't tell May, Jimmy. I am quite sure she never +smoked. I didn't myself until this husband of mine taught me." She took +a few whiffs, then, "Which did you like best?" she asked, suddenly. +"Mary Barton will have the most money; but Vera Farlow is the better +looking, and, they say, her father will probably be a bishop some day. +You see, he has private means, and married an earl's granddaughter." + +Her guest parried the question, a little awkwardly; whereupon Mrs. +Grimmer, seeing his embarrassment, let the matter drop, and went on to +ask about his plans for the future. "I wonder you don't live with some +of your own people," she said, when he told her of his intention to take +rooms. "But, still, I suppose it would be dull for you. What do you say, +Billy?... You must come down here for a week-end as soon as you can find +time." + +It was an hour later when Jimmy left; and the fat butler had already +finished the bottle of port and gone to sleep, with the result that only +at the third ringing of the bell did he awaken and stumble upstairs to +the front door. Jimmy was feeling more than ever disappointed at the +attitude of his own people, more than ever ready to disregard both their +wishes and their advice. After all, Ethel Grimmer had far more brains +and sympathy than May; whilst Grimmer, though not over-brilliant, was +more interesting than Henry Marlow. He woke up next morning with his +sense of grievance still unabated; and his disappointment changed to +something very like anger when May called him into her boudoir after +breakfast, and proceeded to cross-examine him as to whom he had met at +the Grimmers'. + +"I hope you will remember these people are all our friends, even more +than they are Ethel's, Jimmy," she said severely, "and I trust you will +not let Ethel fill your head with her own silly ideas about getting +married and so on. Both Mrs. Barton and Mrs. Farlow will only allow +their girls to marry men of means and position." + +"And you mean that I have neither." Her brother laughed bitterly. "Good +heavens, May, do you think I came home to get married, and live on a +stodgy father-in-law? I've got plenty of other things to think about." +But although he brushed the matter aside scornfully, May's words +remained in his memory. Only men of means and position were wanted in +their circle. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + + +Jimmy's original intention had been to take a couple of rooms of which +Douglas Kelly had told him. They were somewhere in that queer maze of +little streets and courts which lies at the back of Fleet Street, and +would have suited him admirably. But May had objected strongly to the +idea. No one they knew had ever dwelt in such a quarter; and both she +and Henry agreed that it was not the thing for any young man, especially +for a young man of Jimmy's temperament, to live in a place where nobody +would know what he was doing, or what hours he kept. So she had written +to a former maid of hers, who had married and settled in a South London +suburb, and arranged for her to board and lodge Jimmy for a fixed weekly +sum. + +Jimmy had given in reluctantly, though he had not shown his reluctance +openly. Abroad, he had gone his own way, doing just as it seemed good to +him; but in England it was different. He was not afraid of his own +people; but he was anxious not to shock them in any way; and, at the +same time, contact with them had brought back much of his respect for +those conventions which had governed his boyhood. He was a Bohemian by +habit, and largely so by nature, yet when he was amongst those who lived +settled lives their influence and example seemed to revive some latent +instinct of staid respectability within himself, and, to a certain +extent, he came to see things with their eyes. True, the phase passed +quickly, so quickly that often during the ensuing months his own people +wondered whether he were not a hypocrite. They were used to men with +fixed temperaments, men you could rely upon to maintain a suitable +standard of propriety. The other kinds they ignored socially, as they +certainly would have ignored Jimmy, had he not been of their own blood; +but they belonged to a class which reckons family as second only to +property, which, though it may quarrel with its relations, always +remembers the relationship, and the sacred right of interference which +relationship gives. + +Jimmy's new lodgings were half an hour's journey from the City. You +reached them by means of an uncleanly train, whose driver seemed to be +perpetually on the look-out for an excuse to stop with a jolt. You got +out--usually ten minutes late--at a smoke-grimed station, and emerged +into a wide thoroughfare, lined on either side with shops of the +margarine-and-spot-cash variety, and horrible with the screeching and +rattling of gigantic municipal trams, which appeared to run solely for +the pleasure of the motorman and conductor. The third turning on the +right and then the second on the left brought you to Mrs. Benn's house, +semidetached and severe looking, with heavy curtains and a brass plate +on a front door bearing the single word "Apartments." + +Jimmy groaned inwardly as the cab drew up at the little iron gate, and +he wished, once more, that he had not given way to his sister. A band, +obviously the product of a happy and musical Fatherland, was just +packing up its music stands some fifty yards lower down the street; +whilst, as he mounted the steps of the house, two Dagos appeared round +the next corner, trundling a piano organ, on the top of which was seated +what was apparently a small and long-tailed relative of their own. His +rooms, however--two on the first floor--though small, were quite +cheerful for their kind, whilst the meat tea, which the landlady +presently brought up, was distinctly promising. + +He had no stuff of his own, beyond the clothes in his trunks, not even a +book or a photograph; and during his wandering days the lack of such +things had never struck him; but now he found himself registering a +mental vow to buy some pictures as soon as possible, if only to have an +excuse for banishing the German reproductions of mid-Victorian art +which disfigured the walls of his sitting-room. The painters of the +originals had all borne great names, or at least had been accounted +great in their generation; but as he sat smoking after tea, and staring +at these glazed abominations, he wondered who had been the greater +sinner, the English artist or the Teutonic engraver; probably the +former, he told himself, for, after all, the latter had only spoiled +what detail there might have been; he had copied the smugness and the +false sentiment, perhaps rejoiced in them as being essentially the +products of Teutonic thought, but it had been the Englishman who had put +that smugness on to the canvas in the first case. + +Unfortunately, it was easier to want new pictures than to get them, even +though they might cost but a few shillings apiece. Jimmy's total capital +amounted to a bare fifteen pounds, and his means of subsistence so far +appeared to consist of the introduction to Dodgson of the _Record_. Not +that the fact troubled him greatly. A more sanguine man would have been +haunted by the fear of his money giving out before any earnest of future +success came to him; a less experienced man would never have dreamed of +making the attempt at all; but Jimmy was used to being hard pressed for +cash, and had learnt in a rough school not to expect very much. He was +used to drifting, and, in any case, he had practically nothing to lose. + +On the first morning Jimmy went out to have a look at the neighbourhood, +but after an hour's walk he had seen enough to kill any desire he might +have felt for further exploration. The whole district was prosaic and +unlovely, saturated with the spirit of municipal government. There were +rows and rows of jerry-built houses running at right angles to the High +Street, houses with small rooms and big rates, occupied by tired-looking +men who hurried to the station about half-past eight every morning, and +did not get back again till after seven in the evening, when you would +meet them walking homewards rather slowly, shuffling a little perhaps, +as overworked clerks are prone to do, and still carrying the halfpenny +paper which they had bought on their way to town. They had read every +word in it, and their wives would be too busy, or too worn-out, to give +it a glance; but still it had a value as fire-lighting material. +Halfpennies were not negligible factors in those desirable villa +residences. You could see that when the women folk went out to do their +morning shopping. Some of them were flashily-smart, some, most perhaps, +drab and weary like their husbands; but all had to pay cash to those +prosperous tradesmen in the High Street, every one of whom looked like +a councillor, or, at the very least, a guardian, having the air of +growing rich at the expense of the multitude. + +There seemed to be a council school, aggressive in its hideousness, up +every second side street; the grinding whirr of the municipal trams was +always in your ears, to remind you of the poverty of the neighbourhood +in case our eyes should play you false, that worst form of poverty which +has to wear a decent black suit and possesses the mockery of a vote; +whilst the only alternative to the pavements--laid by a +councillor-contractor, and kept in repair by means of a special +rate--was the recreation ground, in which a plethoric and guardian-like +official spent his days in keeping the embryo ratepayers off the +sacrosanct municipal grass. You felt you were in the clutch of a +horrible machine, or rather of two machines, unallied perhaps, yet very +similar in operation, for both took as much as possible and grudged +giving anything in return. From nine till six you were part of the +mechanism of the City, wearing yourself out for the bare means of +subsistence, often without the slightest hope of further advancement, +always with the dread of dismissal as soon as your hair began to turn +grey, when a younger, cheaper man, or a German volunteer, would take +your place. There was nothing in the present, save the eternal +necessity for economy; nothing in the future, save the fear of +unemployment. At night, you returned home, to be gripped by the +municipal Frankenstein's monster, which you and your fellows had helped +to make. You were never free man, you never could be free; because in +London the price of freedom is usually starvation for your children and +prison for yourself, if you cannot satisfy the demands of the "Guardians +of the Poor." + +Jimmy smiled grimly to himself as he noted the new Town Hall. He had met +a good many robber-politicians during his wanderings in the Dago +Republics; but all of them had, at least, the saving grace of frankness. +The aim and end of their policy was to arrive safely in Paris, with the +contents of the national treasury as their baggage. They did not hunger +after honours, such as knighthoods, or aspire to speak at Sunday +afternoon gathering in pseudo-places of worship. Certainly, they told a +number of flamboyant falsehoods before getting into office, but that was +the only respect in which they copied civilised political methods; and +they did run a risk from which their English counterparts would have +shrunk in a cold sweat of fear. The price of failure was death. + +The one tour of inspection satisfied Jimmy. He saw the tragedy +underlying the lives of these people, saw it far more clearly, perhaps, +than they did themselves, for he had known so many other phases, whilst +they were inured to the drab monotony, most had been born to it, and so +its full meaning was mercifully hidden from them. They would have waxed +wrath at hearing it called a poor locality, in fact it was not one, +being eminently respectable, as any house agent could tell you. Why, the +late mayor, who died during his third term of office, had left nearly a +hundred thousand pounds. + +For three days Jimmy wrote steadily, doing no less than five articles of +the type which the _Record_ had accepted. One he sent to Dodgson, the +others to papers which Douglas Kelly had mentioned, and then, suddenly, +inspiration seemed to fail him. He could not write a line, could not +even think of a subject; and, for a whole day, he felt something nearly +akin to dismay. If his ideas ran out as quickly as this his prospects +were small indeed; and when the postman brought back two of his +manuscripts, with printed slips conveying the editor's thanks and +regrets, he began to curse his own folly in ever coming home. + +That evening, the craving for companionship he had felt in the hotel the +night he landed came back to him again. He had spoken to no one, save +his landlady, for the better part of a week, and the loneliness seemed +unbearable. He sent his supper away, practically untasted, then, without +giving Mrs. Benn a chance to come up and comment on the smallness of his +appetite, took his hat and went out. + +It was Early Closing Day, and the High Street was thronged, mainly with +the liberated shop assistants. Jimmy walked slowly, and, owing perhaps +to that fact, he got more than one glance, encouraging him to begin an +acquaintance with young ladies in cheap and showy raiment. But none of +them made the slightest appeal to him. He had no taste for an insipid +flirtation with a girl who would probably play havoc with the aspirates. +He had met many women far less innocent than these, and there had been +more than one passage in his life which he did not recall with pride; +and yet, withal, he was still fastidious where women were concerned. The +only one who had interested him since his return home was the girl whom +he had seen entering the cab in the Strand. Somehow, her face remained +fixed in his memory, and many times since that evening he had found +himself wondering who she was, what her story could be. + +He walked down to the bottom of the High Street, to where the trams +swerved round a corner with a whirr and a jolt into the domain of the +next borough council. There was a large public house at that point, with +much brass work and mahogany about its swing doors, and he turned in, +not so much because he wanted anything to drink, but because it seemed +the obvious alternative to the dreariness of his own rooms or the +boredom of the street. + +The presiding deity welcomed him with the smile she reserved for new +customers. Trade was not very brisk in the saloon bar--there were eight +other licensed houses in the street--and she tossed her peroxide-dyed +curls and flashed her new teeth at him as she poured out his whisky. + +"You look pretty doleful about something," she remarked. + +Jimmy laughed. "I was till I came in here." Then he began to chat to +her, about nothing in particular, and somehow the time passed so quickly +that it was closing time before he took his leave. She had not +interested him in the least; but she was someone to talk to, and the +five or six drinks he had taken had cheered him up temporarily. It was +only when he got out into the now-emptying street that he remembered +that he had not got a latchkey. + +Mrs. Benn was sitting up for him, and received him with a rather sour +face. + +"I didn't know you was going to be late, sir," she said severely. "Mrs. +Marlow wrote that you would always be in in good time." + +Jimmy muttered an apology and took his candle. On the top stair of the +first flight he caught his foot in a loose piece of carpet, and +stumbled, dropping the candlestick, which broke off at the base. In +silence, Mrs. Benn fetched another, and handed it to him with an air of +resignation, then, "You'll be sure and put it out safe, sir," she said. + +Jimmy saw what was in her mind, and laughed, though there was a note of +annoyance in his voice as he attempted to reassure her; but his +annoyance would have changed to wrath had he known that the early post +next morning carried a letter to May describing how he returned home the +worse for liquor. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + + +The morning post consisted of a manuscript returned from the _Daily +Herald_. Jimmy tossed the package on to the side table, with an +exclamation of disgust, not even troubling to ascertain if there were +any enclosure beyond the ordinary printed slip. Then, suddenly, he +decided to go up to town to see if he could find Douglas Kelly. + +"Will you be late again, sir?" Mrs. Benn asked, severely. + +"I think not," Jimmy answered, then, remembering his former experience +with Kelly, he added, "still you might let me have a latchkey on the +chance. I meant to have asked you for one before." + +Mrs. Benn sighed, fumbled in a pocket, took a key off her own bunch, and +handed it to her lodger with an air of resignation. + +"Mrs. Marlow said as you would always be in early." She repeated her +remark of the previous evening. "But if you are going to be late, sir, I +must ask you to be very careful with the candle. One does read of such +awful things, folks burnt in their beds. I'm sure I'm afraid to look at +the papers in these days." + +Jimmy tried to laugh, but the sound spoke of irritation rather than of +amusement. "I don't think you need be afraid of me, Mrs. Benn, though I +did twist my ankle on that loose piece of carpet last night." + +The landlady sniffed, and descended to the basement, where she relieved +her feelings, and conveyed a moral lesson, by smacking the head of her +youngest son, who was not wearing his Band of Hope ribbon. + +"Poor children, can't they keep sober without joining a temperance +society?" a young lady lodger had once said, with a show of sympathy, +and since then the badges had not been greatly in evidence; but now they +should be brought out again as a rebuke to Mrs. Marlow's brother. + +Jimmy went to the club which he knew Kelly used most, but the journalist +was not there. The waiter on duty surveyed the caller critically through +a window, then, having grown grey and wise in the ways of literary men, +he decided that Jimmy was not a creditor, and volunteered some +information. "Mr. Kelly's not been in yet, sir; but he's sure to come to +get his letters. So you might call again." + +Jimmy strolled about until two o'clock--he was not of the kind which +calls just before lunch-time--then went back to the club. + +"Not in yet, sir," the waiter said. "But he may come about four o'clock +for a cup of tea. He usually does, if he's in town." + +Jimmy sighed. He was sick of waiting about; but he craved for the +society of someone he knew, and the idea of going back to spend the rest +of the day in those suburban lodgings seemed intolerable. So he decided +to wait, and walked down the narrow side street into the Strand, and +thence westwards, in more or less aimless fashion. He had never known +town sufficiently well to note the changes which the last ten years had +brought; possibly, they would not have interested him greatly in any +case, for he was a Londoner by birth, and the true Londoner looks at the +people and ignores the buildings. + +He walked slowly, up to Piccadilly Circus, and thence along Regent +Street to Oxford Circus, where he turned eastwards again. + +"Are you saved?" A tall gaunt man, in shabby clerical costume and black +woollen gloves, whispered the words in his ear, endeavoured to thrust a +tract into his hand, then hurried on towards the Circus. Jimmy looked +round quickly to see him repeat the process with an obviously astonished +German, then forgot all about the crank and his ways, for, coming up +behind him, clad just as she had been the night he saw her getting into +the cab in the Strand, was the tall girl whose face had been haunting +his memory. + +Jimmy turned aside quickly and stared into a shop whilst she was +passing, then started to follow her at a little distance, not with the +least idea of making her acquaintance, but because some curious instinct +seemed to compel him to do so. She was walking rather fast, holding her +head erect, and looking neither to the right nor to the left; and, a +moment later, Jimmy saw the reason, for, just behind her, obviously +dogging her steps, was a great, overdressed African native, typical of +those who are sent by scores to England, to have a so-called education +wasted on them, sensual and lickerous savages, who may be quite +admirable as carriers in the West Coast jungles, but are wholly +abominable when allowed loose in the streets of London. + +In common with every sane Englishman who has travelled, Jimmy had no +illusions left on the colour question. To him, the bare idea of a +coloured man speaking to a white woman was horrible, and here was the +worst form of coloured man, the son of the cannibal and the +devil-worshipper, trying to force himself on a white girl. Jimmy went +hot suddenly, a woman who was passing gave a little gasp as she saw the +look in his eyes; then he quickened his pace to catch up the two in +front, coming behind them in time to see the native deliberately jostle +the girl, then raise his glossy silk hat with a lascivious smile and +begin an apology. With flaming cheeks, the girl turned quickly, coming +face to face with Jimmy; but her persecutor's blood was up, and he +followed, still hat in hand. In a moment, Jimmy saw red, and, almost +before he knew what he was doing, he had caught the other on the point +of the jaw with his fist. The black man staggered, but recovered +himself, and for an instant it looked as though he were going to show +fight; but his colour told, and he looked round for a line of retreat, +just as a policeman, seeing the rapidly-gathering knot of spectators, +came up to investigate. + +Jimmy, white-faced and fierce-eyed, listened in contemptuous silence +whilst the coloured man was giving his version, which was corroborated +by a rather long-haired person with a small white tie, who professed to +have seen the incident. + +"This person"--he indicated Jimmy with a wave of a podgy hand--"this +person struck the dark gentleman a most cruel blow, entirely unprovoked. +I shall be most happy to give evidence," and he produced a card, a +printed one, stating that he was the Rev. Silas Lark, whilst the +address indicated that his business was the conversion of the heathen. + +The constable gave him a keen look, and took the slip of pasteboard +rather doubtfully. "I see," he said, then he turned to Jimmy. "What have +you got to say to it all, sir?" + +Jimmy told his story in a few words, then he glanced round to where the +girl had been standing; but, with a mingled sense of disappointment and +relief, he saw that she had slipped away. "I don't want to bring the +lady's name into it, of course," he added, as he gave his own name and +address. + +"Now, then, move on there." The constable closed his notebook and +dispersed the little crowd; then he turned to Jimmy again, "I don't +expect you'll hear any more of this, sir. We've had one or two +complaints about that black man and his friends, and as for the Reverend +Mr. Silas," he smiled, grimly, "we've been told to watch him as a +pickpocket." He glanced at Jimmy again. "You look as if you've come from +abroad, sir, or else I shouldn't have told you so much. Take it from me, +Oxford Street is just alive with wrong 'uns in the afternoon, women as +well as men." Then he drew himself up, and went on to superintend the +raising of a fallen cab-horse, which served also to draw off the few who +were still staring at Jimmy. He was looking for the tall girl; and, a +moment later, he was rewarded by seeing her coming out of a tea-shop +with a paper-bag in her hand. She gave him a frank little smile of +recognition, and, emboldened, he raised his hat and went up to her. + +"Thank you so much," she said. "I--I hope there won't be trouble for +you. I couldn't be in it, you see, so I slipped in there on the excuse +of buying a bun." + +"Oh, it'll be all right," Jimmy answered lightly. "I don't mind paying a +fine for the pleasure of teaching a nigger manners," then, seeing she +looked tired and upset, he asked suddenly, "Will you come and have some +tea in here?" indicating a large restaurant they were passing. + +The girl nodded. "Thank you. I should like some," she answered simply. +Her voice was sweet and refined, and, seeing her closely, Jimmy found +that she was even better-looking than he had imagined, whilst her +carriage was perfection. + +Nothing more was said until they were seated at one of the little tables +in the palm court, then, suddenly, "Oh, how I loathe those black men." +She brought the words out with a little shudder. "There are three or +four of them haunt Oxford Street." + +"Are you often about town?" Jimmy asked. She looked at him with a kind +of grave surprise; then she turned away as she answered, "I am always +about town. I have to be. You understand?" Her voice was very low, but +the words were perfectly distinct. + +Unconsciously, Jimmy twisted his gloves in his two hands so fiercely +that one of them tore nearly in half. The daylight seemed to have gone +suddenly, leaving the gilding of the place dull and heavy. He +understood. Her words had killed all the romance of their meeting; yet, +when he looked at her again, he could hardly believe she was speaking +the truth. + +The waiter brought the tea, and she poured it out, with far more grace +of manner and movement than Mrs. Marlow would have shown. Moreover, she +made no affectation about not wanting the dainty little sandwiches and +cakes. "They are so delicious that I feel it's a sin to leave them," she +said, when he declared he would have no more. + +"What is your name?" he asked abruptly, breaking what had been rather a +long silence. She was dusting some minute crumbs off her dress, and she +answered without looking up, "Penrose, Lalage Penrose." + +She did not ask for his name, but he volunteered it; then, "May I come +and see you?" he added. + +The girl hesitated a moment. "Why not?" she asked at last, but she +flushed at her own words, and her hand was unsteady as she wrote down +the address, which was one of a block of flats near Baker Street. + +"Can I come to-morrow afternoon?" + +She nodded and got up. At the entrance of the restaurant she stopped and +held out her hand. "Good-bye, and thank you." + +"It's only _au revoir_, isn't it?" he answered, as he raised his hat, +then without looking back, for fear she would think he was watching her, +he walked away rapidly, his feelings a mixture of elation and of +something very nearly akin to misery. + +Douglas Kelly was in when Jimmy called again at the club. "The waiter +gave me your card and I supposed you would come along soon. You look a +bit doleful. What are you going to drink?... That was a good article of +yours in the _Whitehall Gazette_ this evening." + +Jimmy set his glass down suddenly. "I haven't seen it; in fact, I was +expecting to find the manuscript waiting for me when I got back." + +Kelly laughed. "So that's the reason of the dumps? The postman drops 'em +through the letter-box with a kind of sickening thud, and you feel +there's nothing left to live for, unless it's to kill the editor. I went +through it all, until I made 'em understand they must have my signature +at my own price. Still, you haven't done so badly in the few days you've +been home. Dodgson tells me they've got another article of yours in +type. Here, Romsey," he hailed a man who had just come in, whose face +somehow seemed familiar to Jimmy, "I want to introduce you to an old +colleague of mine, Grierson, who is going to knock spots out of you +all." + +The new-comer grinned. "I've seen him knocking spots out a nigger in +Oxford Street already. It'll be in the next edition of the _Evening +Post_, 'Outrageous assault on an African Prince.' I happened to be +passing and got seven shillings-worth of copy out of it," he added, +turning to Jimmy. "I left your name out, though. But, you see, the +_Evening Post_ believes in a man and a brother, and sacks its boys if it +finds they have been vaccinated; so the story exactly suited them. The +Prince, too, has just sold the gold-mining rights of his native swamp, +and has held a reception in Exeter Hall, so he in himself was good stuff +for us." Then he gave Kelly a moderately truthful account of what had +occurred. + +Kelly did not laugh. "It won't go down here, Jimmy, that sort of thing. +Of course you were right; it's an abominable scandal to let these +niggers loose; but at home people'll never understand it. If your name +were to come out, you would be done, right away. And," he looked at him +keenly, "your lady friends should know better than to be alone in that +part of Oxford Street. Well, Romsey, are you going to pay for the drinks +out of your seven shillings, or am I? Then I'm going to put Jimmy up for +the club, and you can second him." + + + + +CHAPTER IX + + +That day Jimmy did not go back to his lodgings. Instead, he sent a wire +to Mrs. Benn, and went to dine and spend the night with the Kellys, +although he did not get away from the club until he had been introduced +to a score of journalists to whom his host described him as an old +colleague. As a result they were an hour late for dinner when they +reached the flat. + +"It doesn't matter; my wife won't mind," Kelly remarked cheerfully as +they went up in the lift, and, a few moments later, when he met Mrs. +Kelly Jimmy saw that her husband was speaking the truth. + +Dora Kelly was a pretty, thrifty little woman, with a mass of rather +untidy fair hair. She was still in the tea-gown which, apparently, she +had been wearing all the day, whilst her foot-gear consisted of a pair +of Japanese slippers; and yet the whole effect was charming, possibly +because she was entirely unaffected and obviously happy. The flat +reflected the character of its mistress. It was full of good things, all +in wonderful disarray. Even the drawing-room had an air of having +undergone a strenuous straightening up a month previously, since which +event it had not been touched again. + +"Dinner won't be long, Douglas," Mrs. Kelly said. "But the cook went out +at four o'clock and hasn't come in yet; I'm afraid she must have got +drunk again; so I borrowed the Harmers' servant," she turned to Jimmy. +"Servants are such a nuisance, Mr. Grierson, yet one daren't discharge +them, and our cook is a treasure when she's sober. Douglas says you live +in lodgings in some suburb, so you don't have those worries, I suppose. +Here it's dreadful." She shook her head dolefully; but a moment later +she was smiling again and chattering gaily about her own experiences in +lodgings. She had been on the Press herself prior to her marriage, and +she knew, only too well, the ways of the London landlady. + +If he had not chanced to saunter up Oxford Street that afternoon Jimmy +would have enjoyed immensely his dinner and the long talk which followed +it. He had been craving for the society of his own kind; yet now he had +got it it did not seem such a very great thing after all; for Lalage +Penrose had come into his life, and the thought of her was uppermost in +his mind. Even whilst he was talking over old times with Kelly, or +listening to Dora Kelly's laughing descriptions of the struggles of +their early married life, he was wondering how Lalage was spending the +evening, and the thought was making him sick at heart. Mentally, he +cursed himself for a fool, and tried hard to put the memory away from +him; but it was an effort all the time; and when Kelly finally allowed +him to go to bed, long after midnight, he shut his door with a sigh of +relief. But he did not undress. Instead, he sat in a big armchair, +staring into the fire, which, having been lighted by the borrowed +servant just before she left, a full three hours previously, had now +died down to a red glow. + +He was a fool, and he knew it. The stronger part of his nature, that +which came of the alien streak in his father, warned him of the danger +of thinking seriously of chance female acquaintances, told him that no +man of the world ever did so; whilst to the Grierson strain in him +anything in the way of an intrigue was an unpardonable offence against +the canons of respectability. Douglas Kelly, the Bohemian, and Walter +Grierson, the city man, would both have called him mad, agreeing on this +point, if on none other; for they would argue that only a madman could +feel that he had any regard for a strange girl, who, by her own showing, +was without the pale. Suddenly he resolved to have no more to do with +Lalage. He would destroy her address, avoid those parts of the town +where he might possibly see her, drop the acquaintance before it went +any further. + +He got up suddenly, took the slip of paper Lalage had given him out of +his pocket, and stood staring at words on it. It was well-written, in +the hand of an educated girl; but there was a shakiness in it which +suddenly destroyed all his wise resolutions, making an irresistible +appeal to his chivalry. After all, he himself, if not actually an +outcast, was one of life's failures. He had touched bed-rock, more than +once, and he knew too much of the bitterness of life to judge either man +or woman harshly. It is only those who have never suffered who show no +mercy to others. + +What was it that American girl had said to him in Iquique, when she +insisted on lending him one hundred dollars, the time he was absolutely +penniless and too weak from fever to refuse? "The best thanks you can +give me, Jimmy, will be to help another girl if you ever get the +chance." He had returned the money a couple of months later, and he had +neither seen nor heard of her again; but the memory of her words had +remained, and now he seized on them as an excuse for the course he +wanted to follow. And so the slip of paper went back into his +pocket-book, tucked in carefully, though he knew every word that was on +it; and he sat down again, and remained, thinking and wondering, until +the fire had ceased to show even a spark of red, and the chill of the +room sent him shivering to bed, to dream of Lalage. + +Jimmy came out of his room at nine o'clock next morning to find Mrs. +Kelly sweeping the dining-room. "The cook has not come back yet," she +remarked cheerfully. "I do hope the police haven't taken her, for she is +really a treasure when she's sober. And I can't very well borrow the +Harmers' servant again. So breakfast will be late; but you said last +night you weren't in a hurry, and Douglas isn't either. Won't you have a +whisky and soda, Mr. Grierson, whilst you're waiting. The decanter is on +the sideboard, or it should be--oh, no, I remember, Douglas has got it +in the dressing-room. I'll fetch it." + +Breakfast was finally over about eleven o'clock. "We're not usually so +late, though it's always a movable feast," Mrs. Kelly explained, and +then Douglas prepared to go down to the office. + +"They can always call me on the telephone if they want me specially," he +remarked, "and showing my independence is part of my scheme. I don't +think you'll ever be able to bluff, Jimmy. It isn't in you. At the back +of your mind, really, you're staid and respectable, with a reverence for +those set in authority over you, even for those who'll set themselves +there. So you'll have to trust to the merit of your work alone, and it's +a slow job getting recognition that way. What do you say, Dora?" + +Mrs. Kelly smiled, and then suddenly her face grew grave, almost sad. +"Yes, it is a slow job sometimes," she said, softly. "Only Mr. +Grierson's old enough not to go under whilst he's waiting, and, of +course, he has the knowledge. It's those raw boys from the provinces I +pity." She shook her head as if at some memory, then followed her +husband to the front door. "Come again, Mr. Grierson, won't you," she +said as she shook hands. "Of course, you'll see Douglas often at the +club, and if he gives me longer warning I'll make sure the cook doesn't +get out. Douglas, dear, you might ask them at the police station if +they've got her. I've got a kind of creepy feeling which tells me that +they have, and, you know, the magistrate said he wouldn't fine her next +time." + +"You're lucky," Jimmy said abruptly, as they came down the steps of the +mansions into the street. + +Kelly looked up with a grin. "Do you mean in having our cook?" + +Jimmy disregarded the question, and went on, "Were you lonely when you +first came home, before you married? Did you have to go through it, or +had you people of your own?" + +He did not put it clearly, but the other showed he understood when he +answered, "My people are all in the North, and they're Nonconformists +and teetotallers. I went up once, and the governor and I quarrelled. I +haven't seen them since. Dora's never seen them. We were married six +months after I came home, on nothing. I wouldn't have risked it, but she +insisted for my sake. I was at the old game, you know." + +Jimmy nodded. He understood, remembering vividly certain wild drinking +bouts which, incidentally, had given him some practical experience in +newspaper work, for on more than one occasion he had taken Kelly's +place, and brought out the little sheet. + +They walked on a little way in silence, then, "Women are a confounded +sight better than we are," Kelly jerked out. "They see so much further. +We reckon we are being unselfish when we're only cowards; but they're +ready to back their own opinion and run the risk; and when they win they +let us take the credit." + +"Some of them do, the right sort. But there are others----" Jimmy was +thinking of the girls to whom Ethel Grimmer had introduced him, those +whose parents had trained them in a due appreciation of the value of men +of position. + +Kelly stopped suddenly and looked at him anxiously. "James Grierson," he +said, "I shall put you in a book some day when you're developed. At +present you're about twenty-one years old in many respects. Probably +you'll marry stodgily, or else you'll go to the other extreme and make +an even bigger ass of yourself." + +Jimmy flushed uncomfortably, remembering Lalage; then went hot at the +thought of his own folly. He had only spoken to the girl once. + + + + +CHAPTER X + + +Lalage Penrose's flat was on the second floor of a small block of flats +in a narrow and grimy street. Opposite the main entrance was a fried +fish shop, and next door to that a coal and greengrocery stores, with +the latest price per hundredweight of what were untruthfully called the +"Best Household Coals" displayed in huge numerals on each of the +windows. Unwashed children from the uncleanly houses which made up the +rest of the street seemed to spend the whole day, and half the night, +dancing to barrel organs. Garbage and paper littered the roadway, except +where there was sufficient slimy black mud to cover these; but, on the +other hand, there was a large and gaudy public house at the corner, +opposite a similar block of flats, and a cab rank just down the side +turning. + +Lalage's flat consisted of three very small rooms, for which she paid +fifty pounds a year. "Inclusive of rates," the agent had said; but, as +the landlord himself was on the Borough Council, his assessment was, of +course, not unduly high. By trade, the owner was a butcher in Maida +Vale, though his friends in Tooting did not know that; moreover, +besides being a councillor, he was a German by extraction; consequently, +with these two qualifications, it was quite natural that he should own +flats of that kind. In Capetown, where men are crude or brutal in their +ways, a judge and jury between them would probably have assessed his +merits at fifty lashes and two years' hard labour; in London, on the +other hand, not only was his person sacred and his property safe from +police raids, but he also had reasonable grounds for expecting to be +mayor in due course--which often meant a knighthood--whilst even the +greatest prize of all, the chairmanship of the new Electricity +Committee, a body having the giving of six-figure contracts, was not +beyond his grasp. He was quite a personage in the municipal life of West +London, as well as in the social life of Tooting, and, being a married +man with a family, he treated his tenants with righteous severity, +distraining on the slightest excuse when he suspected they possessed +anything of value, knowing well that his victims would not dare seek +redress in the Courts. + +It was four o'clock exactly when Jimmy knocked at the door of the flat, +which was opened by Lalage herself. "I've no servant," she explained, +"only a woman who comes in once or twice a week." Then she led the way +into the tiny slip of a sitting-room, where she had tea laid out. "I'm +glad you've come," she added, "I was half afraid you wouldn't." + +"Why?" he asked with a smile. + +She looked at him seriously, her head a little on one side, as though +she were trying to read his character. "You seemed shy, different from +most men. Are you an Englishman?" + +He nodded, and gave her a brief sketch of who he was. She listened with +evident interest. "It must be splendid to travel and see things. I have +always longed to, at least I did once, but now----" She broke off with a +hopeless little sigh, and got up abruptly. "I'll fetch the tea now." + +The tea things, like everything else in the place, were of the simplest, +cheapest kind, yet as tasteful as was possible considering their price; +but, on the other hand, the tea itself was good, and there was a plate +of daintily-cut bread and butter and another of sandwiches. + +"I was so glad of that tea yesterday." Lalage looked up suddenly. "I +hadn't had anything since some bread and milk at breakfast time, and +that horrible black man made me feel quite shaky." + +Jimmy frowned. "Why do you starve yourself in that way?" he asked. + +In after years, he often thought of this question and her answer. He +had been hungry himself more than once, and he knew, only too well, what +it meant; but, somehow, he had never pictured a well-dressed girl as +suffering that way. + +"I only had a penny left, the one I spent on that bun, and no one will +trust you with as much as a loaf round here. I was afraid you would +notice how greedy I was at tea." Then, as he flushed awkwardly and began +to speak, she stopped him with a little gesture. "Why should you have +thought of it? You were very good, as it was. And I'm all right now. I +got a postal order last night," she added rather hurriedly; then she +changed the subject abruptly, and went on to talk of one or two matters +of passing interest, which the papers had been booming for want of +anything of real importance. She had evidently received an average +education, Jimmy could see that plainly, and yet he was puzzled, for in +many of her ideas, and especially in her strong prejudices, she belied +her apparent age; for they were those of a child of fourteen, rather +than of a girl of some two or three and twenty. Insensibly, he found +himself listening to her as one would to a child, and then, a moment +later, she would bring out some cynical scrap of wisdom, evidently the +fruit of bitter experience, which sounded strange coming from her lips. +Yet, despite the utter unconventionality, there was no hint of fastness +about her, and even when she touched by implication on her way of life, +she did so with a kind of frank simplicity, hiding nothing and trying to +excuse nothing. + +"What do you think of my little flat?" she asked suddenly, after what +had been rather a long pause. "It's very tiny, of course; but it's a +home, and when you've had nowhere to go to, not even a lodging----" She +broke off, and stared into the fire. "It's simply awful to have +nowhere," she went on after a while. "To walk about hour after hour with +the mud squelching through your shoes, and nothing to eat; and getting +more hopeless as midnight comes on. I was out two whole nights." + +Jimmy breathed heavily; he had often heard the same sort of thing from +men; but it sounded very different coming from the lips of a girl. + +"And then one day I got ten pounds," Lalage continued, "and I made up my +mind I would have a home. I paid a month's rent in advance--they don't +worry over references if you do that--and I went to some hire-purchase +people for furniture. Then I bought a kettle at the sixpenny halfpenny +shop, and a cup and saucer and plate in the next street, where the +barrows are. By the time I had got curtains and some sheets and one or +two odd things like a lamp, there were only a few shillings left." She +looked up seriously. "You wouldn't think till you try how expensive +furnishing is; but I was so proud of my little home. I am still; and you +know, when you've a place of your own, if you only have bread and milk +no one is any the wiser. I've often been hard up since, but I've always +managed to scrape up the rent and the hire-purchase instalment. One must +do that; they don't give you a day's grace." + +Jimmy was chewing savagely at the ends of his moustache. It never +entered into his head that she was trying to play upon his sympathies. +There was some curious quality of simplicity in her manner which forbade +that supposition. She interested him as no woman had ever interested him +before, and, suddenly, he was filled with a desire to know her past, +and, in that, to find excuses for the present. + +"Where do you come from?" he asked. + +"Hampshire," she answered, adding, "My people are dead. I'm quite alone +in the world." Then, as if to change the subject, she got up from her +seat. "You must have a look round my tiny place." + +Jimmy felt almost guilty as he noted her obvious pride in the few little +articles she had collected together. May's cook would have rejected with +scorn the kettle from the sixpenny halfpenny bazaar, and the one or two +pots and pans which had since been bought at the same shop; whilst none +of the Marlow servants would have deigned to use the thick earthenware +plates on the dresser. Yet everywhere there was a perfect cleanliness, +which, possibly, those same servants would never have succeeded in +attaining in the smoke-laden atmosphere of that street. + +"I do hate dirt and untidiness," Lalage explained when he made a remark +on the subject. "I do everything myself, except the scrubbing; and I +wouldn't have a woman in for that if it wasn't for my hands; I want to +keep them nice." + +She held them out for Jimmy to inspect, with the first touch of vanity +he had seen in her. Perhaps, her pride was justifiable, for they were +well worth looking at, being small and perfectly shaped. She wore no +rings, nor, for the matter of that, any jewellery at all, whilst her +dress was of the simplest. + +When they went back to the sitting-room he asked her the time. "I never +carry a watch," he said. "Mine went the way of a good many other things +when I was first knocked out with fever, and I've never managed to +afford another one." + +Lalage nodded with sympathetic comprehension. "I know; but it's worst +when you've nothing left to pawn. As for clothes, they give you nothing +on them, at least round here. But you want to know the time." She +opened the window and listened a moment. "It's just on six. I can hear +the periwinkle man coming, and he's never late. This is the last part of +his round, you see, because he doesn't expect to sell much here; then he +goes to a stall for the evening. I know them all, and I think they like +me, because I chat to them. But the people in the other flats," she +shook her head with an air of disgust, "most of them are dreadful; a lot +of horrid foreigners, you know. Still, the caretaker sees they don't +fight on the stairs, and when I shut my door, I feel I shut them all +out." + +Jimmy smiled a little grimly; he could picture those other tenants and +their ways. Then, "Will you put your hat on, and we'll go out and get +some dinner?" + +She reflected a moment. "Why not get something and bring it in here? It +won't cost nearly so much, though it will be much nicer. Oh, in six +months I've got simply to loathe the smell of a cafe. There's a nice ham +and beef shop where we can get everything we want." She laughed rather +ruefully. "I remember yesterday when I was so hungry looking in there +and wishing I could get a roast chicken they had, all beautiful and +brown, you know, with jelly on it. But they wouldn't have trusted me +with even a quarter of a pound of beef. I suppose they've been robbed +so often. Well, I'll put on my hat, and we'll get what we want. Really, +honestly, I would much sooner have it like that than go to one of the +best restaurants. Don't you yourself think cafes are hateful?" + +Jimmy watched her marketing with a distinct sense of admiration. She +knew the local price of everything, and she insisted on having exactly +what she ordered. + +"I don't see why they should rob you," she said. "They make huge profits +anyway. Now, I think that's all we want." She ticked the articles off on +her fingers. "Oh, unless you care for something to drink.... Yes, I like +a whisky and soda with my meals; but don't get a whole bottle, it's only +a waste; and they will sell it you by the quartern in that public house. +I'll wait whilst you go in. But don't buy a bottle; I know you haven't +got any money to throw away?" she added. + +When he came out, she noted, with evident satisfaction, that he had +obeyed her. "This will make a lovely supper," she declared, and her +smile showed she meant it. "I like shopping like this. It's always nicer +than a cafe, and much less expensive." + +Her last remark reminded him of what she had said just as he was going +in for the whisky. + +"Why do you think I haven't got any money to throw away?" he asked. + +She gave a wise little nod. "You tell me you write, and I know literary +men never have anything to spare." + +Jimmy laughed. "How do you know?" + +Lalage turned away. "Never mind, but I do know, only too well." + + + + +CHAPTER XI + + +"I have not heard from you for several days," Mrs. Marlow wrote to +Jimmy, "though I have had a couple of letters from Eliza Benn, who says +that for two consecutive nights you did not come home. The first night +you wired to her, but the second time she sat up until after midnight, +fearing lest it might not be safe to let you have a light. I need not +say how annoying it is to hear these things from one's former servants. +Both Henry and I trust that you are not already getting into dissipated +ways, and that you will remember that you belong to a respectable +family, which will have to bear a large share of any disgrace into which +you may fall, or be led." Then there was a postscript. "Eliza Benn is a +person for whom I have a great regard; and I hear that her husband holds +quite an excellent situation in Mr. Grimmer's salesrooms, where he is +paid thirty-five shillings a week, which, Henry says, would only be +given to a most experienced and steady man." + +Jimmy tore the letter across savagely and tossed it into the fire. It +annoyed him the more because his sister had got within measurable +distance of the truth, at least from her point of view. He had already +had some uncomfortable moments over the thought of what the family would +say if it ever came to know of Lalage. He had not seen the latter again, +but, though it was less than forty-eight hours since they had parted, he +had written to her twice, and he could not disguise from himself the +fact that she filled his life to the exclusion of all else. No other +woman had ever appealed to him in the same way. Lalage had gripped his +imagination. He could remember every word she had said, and, having been +on the rocks himself, he could understand what she had suffered--the +rain squelching through the thin little shoes, the bitter loneliness of +the great city, the meals of bread and milk which had to last the whole +day, the passionate longing for a home of some sort. He did not attempt +to argue the thing out logically, as a Grierson would have done. The +thought of her way of life inspired him, not with the scorn or loathing +a man of position would have felt, even when taking advantage of it, but +with a terrible, gnawing jealousy. Probably, he would not have admitted, +even to himself, that he was in love, for, somehow, the phrase seemed +hopelessly inapplicable. It belonged to the Grierson part of his nature, +and was supposed to signify a preliminary to marriage, an altogether +decorous kind of affection for a decorously-behaved girl, who had never +been homeless or hungry or cold. All he cared for now was to get Lalage +away, to be with her always, and, for the moment at least, anything +which did not help towards that end seemed of absolutely no importance. +He had thrust family considerations on one side, thrust on one side all +those good resolutions, or rather those revived instincts of the past, +which had been uppermost in his mind when he first came home. His own +world, the Griersons and Marlows and Grimmers, would have called him +either mad or hopelessly immoral, according to the degree of charity +latent in their respective natures; Kelly would have warned him bluntly +not to endanger his prospects by being a fool; a mental specialist would +have explained that the shock of John Locke's death, coming on top of +the ten years of almost continual overstrain in bad climates, had +temporarily affected his balance, an opinion with which Lalage herself +would have agreed, knowing, after all, nothing of men's love; but +neither opinions nor diagnosis would have altered Jimmy's determination. + +He had put in two days of almost savagely hard work. Without money he +would be helpless. True, most of his manuscripts had come back; but +still three had actually appeared in print, and he could feel he had +made a start. The old semi-indifference on the question of his ultimate +success or failure had vanished completely. He was in deadly earnest +now; Lalage should have no more bread-and-milk days, if he could help +it. + +Mrs. Marlow's letter had arrived by the first delivery, in the cheerful +company of a returned manuscript. He had heard from Lalage, her first +letter to him, the evening before, and he did not expect another till +that night; but when the second postman knocked at the door, and, a +moment later, Mrs. Benn came creaking upstairs, he hurried to meet her, +hoping the envelope might bear the West London postmark. But he was +doomed to disappointment. The letter was from Ida, his sister in +Northampton. "When I heard from you last week you said any day this week +would do," Ida Fenton wrote. "We find we shall be able to have you +to-morrow, and hope you will stay four or five days. The best train is +one at 2:15, and I will meet you by that, so you need not worry about +answering this note. We are all looking forward to seeing you, and +though, of course Joseph is at business all day, and the children at +school, I daresay you will find the rest do you good." + +Jimmy frowned as he folded it up and put it back into the envelope. He +had arranged to spend the next day with Lalage; they were going to have +a run out somewhere--"somewhere inexpensive, like the Crystal Palace," +Lalage had said in her letter--and then they were going to have another +of those delightful marketing expeditions in the grimy street where the +barrows were. Now, all that would have to be postponed. Jimmy would not +have scrupled greatly about disappointing Ida--she had been in no hurry +to see him--but May's letter had shown him how he was being watched and +his doings reported, and he did not want to arouse further suspicion. He +intended to move very shortly, though his plans were as yet but half +formed, and, moreover, he shrank from doing anything which would offend +May. He might not be afraid of his relations; but at the back of his +mind he was sufficiently conscious of his own departure from the paths +of rectitude to feel the weakness of his position. + +He wrote to Lalage that evening, explaining matters; consequently, she +was not surprised when he came up next morning carrying a handbag. At +first, it struck him that she was looking rather pale and worried, but +she greeted him with frank pleasure, and, in a few minutes, she was her +usual self again. As Jimmy learned later, she had in a peculiar degree +the art of seeing the best side of things. In a sense, she was almost a +fatalist, and though she made no disguise about the regret she felt for +her ruined life, a moment later she always seemed to put the regrets +aside as useless. "I try to keep as respectable as I can," she said to +Jimmy. + +Normal people, being respectable themselves, would probably have +sneered, knowing that those who have fallen are all on the level, and +that only in those far-off days when He who pitied the Magdalen and bade +the sinless cast the first stone trod the earth was there forgiveness +for this greatest of sins. But Jimmy, not being normal, and being +anxious to find excuses for Lalage, did not sneer, and before long he +found that, though she might not be able to rise again, she was +determined to fall no lower. She was almost fastidious in her hatred of +bad language, and there was, as a matter of fact, an immeasurable +distance between her and the German women who formed the majority of the +other tenants. + +"Of course I am sorry to have to go away," Lalage said in answer to +Jimmy's complaints of having to go to Northampton. "But still, it's only +right. Your own people ought to come first, and I shall see you when you +get back, if you haven't forgotten me." + +Jimmy took both her hands in his. "I shall never forget you, Lalage, +never." + +She shook her head. "Others have said the same, and have forgotten, +none the less. I'm afraid to hope too much sometimes, for fear of +disappointment. It's easier when you haven't expected anything." She +freed her hands and went across to the window, where she stood, +apparently staring at the gigantic telephone post on the roof opposite. + +Jimmy came up behind her. "Would you be sorry if I were to forget?" he +asked. + +She answered without looking round, "Of course I should." + +"Why would you be sorry?" he went on. + +"Because I like you very much. You are always gentlemanly and nice in +your ways." Still she did not face him. + +"Do you like anyone else, anyone at all?" Jimmy's voice was not very +steady. + +"No, no." Now she turned her head, and he saw that her eyes were wet. +"There's no one I like. I don't know why I've told you things, only, +somehow, you seemed to understand how hard life is; and you don't treat +me----" she paused as though looking for a word, "you don't treat me +lightly. You're careful to raise your hat and open the door for me, and +all those little things, just as though I were," her voice broke +slightly, "a good girl." + +Jimmy coloured, and muttered something which Lalage did not catch, +then, suddenly, she gave a little gasp of annoyance. "Jimmy, you left +your bag in the hall, and it's got your name on it. The charwoman was +cleaning the kitchen and now she's out in the hall. Do get it at once." + +He obeyed her with obvious surprise, then looked at her inquiringly. +"Blackmail," she answered simply. "All these women round here do it if +they get a chance, and they say the landlord puts them up to it. +Everyone about here preys on us, in one way or another. The district +lives on us, tradesmen, landlords, agents, even the gas and electric +light people; and when they've bled us dry they seize our homes and turn +us out. They know we can't go to law, and yet whilst they're robbing us +they're sitting as guardians or councillors and going to chapel every +Sunday. They treat us like dirt, and their wives and daughters shake +their skirts at us, and all the time it's we who earn the money for +them." + +Jimmy went over to the mantelpiece, and buried his head on his hands. He +was wholly unconscious of what he was doing, being too miserable to +think of appearances. Lalage watched him a moment, then put her arm +gently round his neck, and, for the first time, kissed him of her own +accord. + +"What is it, dear, tell me," she said. + +"I can't stand it. The whole thing's horrible, abominable." It was the +man's voice which was broken now. + +"You can't help it, Jimmy dear," she answered sadly. "It's too late now. +There's no road back in these things. It's my own fault, and I must pay +for it." + +"There must be a way out," he answered fiercely. "I will find it when I +can get this wretched visit over. You can't go on like this." + +She tried to soothe him down, almost as a mother soothes a child. "All +right, dear, you shall find it when you come back. We'll see what can be +done." + +Lalage went down to the station to see him off. They arrived in plenty +of time, and when he had taken his ticket they went into the refreshment +booth for some sandwiches. They sat down, and for a minute or two, +neither said anything. Then, suddenly, Jimmy turned to her. + +"How are you off for money, Lalage?" he asked. + +The girl coloured slightly. "Quite all right, thanks," she answered +after a moment's hesitation. "Really I am, Jimmy, and, anyway, I +wouldn't let you run yourself short." + +But he was not satisfied. "Are you sure? Take some in case of +accidents." + +She shook her head. "No, there's no need. I shall be able to pull +along." + +He gave in reluctantly. "Well, you've got my address. Let me know if you +do get short, because I should hate to think----" He broke off abruptly, +then went on. "Promise you'll let me know." + +Lalage nodded. "Yes, I promise." + + + + +CHAPTER XII + + +Ida Fenton, Jimmy's younger sister, was a tall, fair woman with a +beautiful profile and hazel-blue eyes. Women who did not like her called +her a stick, and even her friends admitted that she was severe. +Stiffness was the dominant note in her character. Most men, including +even her husband, wondered that she had ever married. In pre-Reformation +times she would certainly have been a nun, and probably a saint, being +passionless, and therefore able to avoid all carnal sins without effort. +However, she belonged to an age which regarded marriage as the one +vocation for women, at least for those of position, and she had accepted +Joseph Fenton, if not with enthusiasm, at least with satisfaction. He +appeared to fulfil all the necessary conditions, and she had never found +reason to regret her choice. If Fenton himself sometimes appeared hurt +at the fact that she did not display more outward affection towards him +or the children, she seldom worried over the matter, being fully +conscious of her own rectitude of conduct and feeling. + +Jimmy felt chilled the moment he entered the Fenton house. Ida's own +personality seemed to be reflected in everything, in the furniture, in +the pictures, and above all in the unnaturally tidy children to whom he +was presently introduced. He could still feel the one cold kiss which +Ida had given him, and, when he was shown up to his room, he +unconsciously gave the spot an extra dab with the sponge. + +The weather was bitter, yet there was no fire in the big spare room, Ida +holding that fires in bedrooms were unhealthy and extravagant, +consequently, being still thin blooded as a result of ten years in +tropical climates, he was shivering when he got downstairs again. + +"Can I have a little whisky, Joe?" he said to his brother-in-law, whom +he found in the smoking-room. "I've got a bit of a chill on me, and it +takes very little to bring out my malaria." + +Ida, who had just entered, frowned slightly. "Ammoniated quinine would +do you more good, Jimmy. Joseph himself never drinks between meals. It's +such a bad example if the children happen to come in." + +Jimmy stifled a retort to the effect that the obvious course was to keep +the children out; but he refused the proffered quinine and helped +himself to some of the whisky which his brother-in-law had already +produced. + +Ida sighed and went out, whereupon Fenton lost no time in making use of +the second glass which was on the tray. + +"Ida likes giving people ammoniated quinine," he remarked. + +Jimmy nodded sympathetically, knowing his sister of old. She had managed +their father's household during the period between their mother's death +and her own marriage, and he still had lively recollections of her +regime. + +Dinner was a dreary meal. Fenton, who was essentially a cheerful person, +made several spasmodic attempts at conversation, but Ida, cold and +beautiful, seemed to check him by her own silence; whilst Jimmy was +thinking of Lalage, contrasting the luxury of his present surroundings, +the massive plate, the costly dinner service, the deferential, +silently-moving butler, with Lalage's little room, and its hire-purchase +furniture, earthenware plates, and the meal bought at the ham and beef +shop. Now, he was amongst his own people, a Grierson come back to the +Griersons; and yet he hated it all, because he had reached the point of +wanting to share everything with Lalage, whom he could never hope to +introduce into houses like the Fentons'. + +The long meal came to an end at last, and they went into the +smoking-room, where Ida joined them. Mrs. Fenton had asked no questions +at dinner, when the servants were present, but Jimmy quickly found that +there were many things she wanted to know, not about the past, but about +his doings since he had come home, and about his plans for the future. +In a flash, he understood that May must have arranged this sudden +invitation to Northampton, and he was on his guard at once. Inwardly, he +was furious and a little uneasy, foreseeing the possibility of future +trouble; but he kept both his temper and his composure, and in the end +he lulled Ida's suspicions. When she had gone, Fenton himself breathed a +sigh, which sounded curiously like one of relief, and, pulling out a +couple of big volumes in the bottom shelf of the bookcase, produced a +bottle of whisky of a brand greatly superior to that which stood on the +tray. + +"She doesn't like to see it go too fast." He motioned towards the other +bottle. + +Jimmy nodded sympathetically, understanding; then helped himself. + +"They're afraid of you going the pace." Joseph Fenton jerked the words +out, looking away almost guiltily. + +Once more Jimmy nodded. He liked this brother-in-law, always had liked +him, knowing him to be a man, and, for a moment, he felt inclined to +tell him of Lalage; but, before he could make up his mind, Joseph went +on: + +"They don't understand, Jimmy--Ida and May and my own sisters too. Yet, +hang it all, in a way I suppose they're right, because of the kids, you +know." He tossed his cigar into the grate and lighted another, rather +carefully. "You fellows who have knocked about, you get ideas and +ways----. But, they won't do here, Jimmy, believe me." He paused again, +to help himself to another whisky, then went on, hurriedly, "This work +of yours, it's a bit uphill. Are you all right for cash? If not come to +me." + +Jimmy flushed. He wanted some money badly, how badly only a man in his +position, the lover of Lalage, could know; but still he could not take +it from Fenton, for that purpose. Joseph would never understand his +motives. So he stood up, suddenly. + +"Thanks, very much, Joe; but I can rub along, at least I think so. If I +am dead stuck, I will come to you; but I believe I can pull through." +Then he said good night, and went upstairs, to think of Lalage, and to +curse his own idiocy in not taking the proffered loan. Twenty pounds +would have been nothing to his brother-in-law, yet to Lalage and himself +it would have meant a new start. Before he lay down he had made up his +mind to ask Joseph for it, after all, and he went to sleep with that +resolution in his mind; but when he awoke in the morning things somehow +seemed different, and before breakfast was over he had changed his mind. +This was his world, and these were his own people, living ordered lives, +with soles and grilled kidneys for breakfast, and family plate on the +table, knowing nothing of ham and beef shops, or of milkmen who demanded +cash in exchange for their milk. He belonged to them, he was one of +them, sharing their principles and their prejudices, worshipping their +gods, as his ancestors and theirs had done. What real kinship had he +with Lalage, who made her breakfast tea out of a quarter-pound packet +bought the evening before at the little general shop round the corner, +and took an obvious delight in the sixpenny haddock they had purchased +off the barrow with the glaring oil lamps over it? + +And yet, when the postman brought him no letter from that same Lalage, +he grew silent and restless, as his sister's eyes were quick to note. +When Joseph had departed to his office, he himself went to the +smoking-room and wrote three whole sheets to the girl who lived in the +flat, for the first time throwing all prudence to the winds, and saying +the things he felt. His pen travelled quickly, and, whilst he was +writing, he forgot all about his surroundings, his mind being full of +Lalage. When, at last, he had finished and signed his name, in full, as +a sign of his trust in her, disdaining any subterfuge, he looked round +the luxuriously furnished room, and for an instant he was filled with a +sense of his own folly; then, hurriedly, as though ashamed of what he +was doing, he thrust the letter into an envelope and sealed it down, +afterwards posting it with his own hands. + +The hours dragged by slowly. The Marlow house had seemed dull; but the +Fentons' was almost unbearable. Ida meant to be kind; but, perhaps, +because she tried to show her intention, she only succeeded in making +Jimmy feel his position as a poor relation. She took him for a drive in +the afternoon to call on one or two elderly ladies in reduced +circumstances, whom she patronised unconsciously, greatly to the +discomfort of her brother, who had a kind of fellow feeling for her +victims. Yet, on the other hand, he was conscious of a grim admiration +for Ida; she was so sure of her own rectitude, so convinced that her +husband's wealth--which meant her own position--entitled her to lecture +and to interfere. It was all interesting, even amusing, or it would have +been so, had Lalage never come into his life, in which case he could +have regarded Mrs. Fenton from a more or less impersonal point of view. +Now, however, she was a possible danger, to be guarded against, +and--though he did not like to put it that way--to be lied to, if +occasion demanded. + +That night, Jimmy hardly closed his eyes, being occupied with the +problem of inventing an excuse for getting back to town. The evening +post had brought him no letters; and, though it was improbable that +Lalage would have any real news for him, he was terribly worried at her +silence. Lying then through the long hours, praying for the sleep which +would not come to ease him from the hideous pain of jealousy, he +suffered as few men can suffer in their lives. He had no right to +control Lalage, no more claim on her than anyone else had, he was mad to +trouble about her, knowing what he did of her, and having ten years' +experience of women behind him. Yet he lay there, wide-eyed, wondering, +and tormenting himself. Twice he got up and endeavoured to smoke a +cigarette, but all to no purpose. The tobacco tasted rank, and, after a +few whiffs, he let the thing go out. When, towards morning, he did fall +into a heavy sleep, it was only to dream of Lalage, with the mud and +rain squelching through her shoes, looking for someone to give her +shelter. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + + +If Ida felt any relief when, at the end of four miserably long days, +Jimmy returned to town, she did not say so, even to her husband. It had +been a trial in many ways, but, at the same time, she was conscious of +having done her duty. She had impressed her brother with a sense of what +he owed to the family in the matter of conduct, and his very depression +seemed to show that he had taken the matter to heart. + +"Jimmy's nerves are all wrong. He's like a man on wires. He wants a +comfortable home and a wife to look after him," Fenton ventured to +remark whilst his brother-in-law was upstairs, packing; but Ida brushed +the theory aside scornfully. + +"I am surprised at you, Joseph. It is not at all the way to speak of +marriage. The Griersons have always waited until they were in a position +to marry, and have never held those disgusting ideas of nerves and so +on. Jimmy most emphatically cannot think of marrying for many years to +come. He is perfectly well, or he would be if he did not smoke and drink +so much. He has the remedy in his own hands." + +Fenton shrugged his shoulders and turned away, wondering inwardly +whether the Grierson strain would predominate in his own children. He +almost wished Jimmy had not come down. It was annoying to be disturbed +and made to think after having got out of the habit of so doing. + +The men and women of the type Ida usually invited to the house never +worried him in that way, belonging as they did to the class which can +afford to take its theories as facts. + +Jimmy had heard once from Lalage, a brief little note, just +acknowledging his letters, and telling him nothing. Mrs. Fenton had +watched carefully whilst he was reading it--she had detected a woman's +handwriting--but he had managed to keep his composure, and then, the +better to deceive her, he had rolled the paper into a ball and tossed it +on to the fire, though it cut him to the heart to part with anything +which had once been Lalage's. + +He had hoped the girl would have been waiting for him at the station; +but he failed to see her tall figure on the platform, so, jumping into a +cab, he told the driver to take him to the mansions. However, as they +went up the last street, he caught sight of Lalage coming out of a +hairdresser's shop. A moment later he was beside her. + +Jimmy's first impression was one of delight at the look of genuine +pleasure which, had come into her eyes; then he noted with concern how +worn and pale she looked. + +"I didn't expect you quite so soon," she said. "I must have made a +mistake in the time, and I wanted to get my hair done nicely before you +got back." + +"What has been the matter with you? Why didn't you write, dear?" he +asked. + +She parried the questions until they got inside the flat, when he +repeated them, holding her hands, and looking into her eyes. She tried +to avoid his scrutiny. + +"I've been all right," she answered, "only there was nothing to write +about." + +But he would not be put off like that, and at last, with a sob, she told +him. "It's over now, and I didn't mean you to know. I--I've had the +brokers in." She was speaking hurriedly, in a low voice. "You see, +someone has been paying my rent, and I expected it the day you went +away--it should have come that morning--and it was due next day. I never +heard, and I only had a few shillings, so they put the brokers in at +once. These landlords always do." + +Jimmy cursed silently. "Why didn't you wire to me? You know I would have +sent it at once." + +She shook her head. "No, no. I hate taking money from you, above +everyone." + +"What did you do in the end?" + +She looked up and faced him, with a kind of desperate courage. "I got it +by going away for two days. It's no good disguising things, trying to +make out that I don't." + +It was a question which was the paler, the man or the woman. It had come +home to him, as it had never done before. He dropped her hands and went +over to the window, where he stood very still, staring out with +absolutely unseeing eyes; whilst she watched him with a deadly pain at +her heart, thinking she had killed the love which she knew had grown up +in him. + +"Perhaps it's best, after all, perhaps it's best." She tried desperately +hard to say the words to herself, then, almost unconsciously, she took a +step towards him. Possibly her action altered the whole course of two +lives, for, like a flash, he turned round, seized her in his arms, and +covered her face with kisses. + +"I don't care, now I've come back, because it'll never happen again, it +can't happen again, and what went before has nothing to do with me. +We'll start afresh, dearest, we'll start afresh." He repeated the words +several times, savagely, as though wishing to assure himself that it +would be so. + +Lalage was crying on his shoulder, sobbing quietly without noise or +movement, as overwrought women do; but it was soon over, and she pulled +herself together bravely. + +"I think you're very tired and we had better have some tea now," she +said, smiling at him with wet eyes. He kissed away her tears, then +released her, and sat down whilst she hurried into the kitchen to +prepare the tray. + +It was very much later, in fact not until after they had finished the +supper, which she insisted should come from the next street--"Because it +was so nice last time," she explained--that he went back to the subject +of their future. He was so desperately in earnest that he succeeded in +blinding himself to the financial difficulties ahead; and, though +perhaps he did not convince either Lalage or himself, they were both in +the mood to risk things. + +"I'll give up my rooms at Mrs. Benn's, thankfully, and we can take some +others, somewhere near Fleet Street, until we can get on our feet," he +went on. + +But Lalage demurred. "I can't give up this flat, at least not without +losing all I've paid on the furniture, until the end of my agreement, in +six months' time. Why shouldn't we stay on here?" + +Jimmy frowned. He loathed the place and all its associations, but he was +not in a position to give her another home of her own, as yet, and he +could not answer her argument, especially when she added: + +"I can tell them at the agent's office that we are married, and we can +give them some name or other." + +She said it simply, without the least intention of hurting him; but the +words cut him like a whip, for though, for one mad moment, he had +thought of marriage, real marriage, he had put the idea on one side as +utterly impossible. He was a Grierson, owing a duty to the family, and +he could not do the thing. Only he had the grace not even to hint of it +to her, and she gave no sign that she had the least expectation of any +promise from him. She had recovered her spirits, and, apparently, was +quite content with the arrangement he proposed. He was fully conscious +that Society would condemn him unsparingly, if it found out, and he +could not justify his own conduct, even to himself; but Lalage never +seemed to consider the moral aspect of the question, that curious +element of irresponsibility, almost childishness, which he had marked at +the very outset, was now more noticeable than ever. + +Suddenly, a new fear gripped him. "It will never do to give my people +this address," he said. "They would make inquiries at once, and +then----" He gave a grim little smile. + +Lalage's face grew hard. "Why should they hunt you like that? If they +really cared, they would have looked after you, instead of sending you +to those lodgings. They want you to be like a little boy, to do just +what they say, and never to have a mind of your own--oh, yes, but they +do. They ought to have seen that after all you've been through, you need +care and love." + +He looked up with a queer light in his eyes. "Do you love me, Lalage? +You've never said so." + +"I like you very, very much," she answered. + +But he was not satisfied. "Do you love me?" he repeated. + +"I like you better, much better, than anyone else I ever met," and with +that he had to be content. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + + +"I know someone who will let you a room, just as an address, in case +those horrid sisters of yours make inquiries." Lalage turned round +suddenly from the looking-glass, her hands still busy with her hair. + +"Who is she? Where does she live?" Jimmy asked lazily, being at the +moment more interested in that same hair than in anything else. + +"She lives just the other side of Baker Street, and really she's a kind +of agent, you know." Lalage made a gesture of supreme disgust. "But +she's not so bad as most of them, and, as her husband is a clerk in the +Council office, anyone would tell your people that the house is quite +respectable. Why, it belongs to the mayor himself." + +Jimmy frowned. He loathed the idea of putting himself in the hands of +people of that sort, people who would understand exactly how matters +stood, and judge, not only himself, but Lalage as well, according to +their own standards. + +"I would sooner we had nothing whatever to do with any of them," he +said. + +He was touching mud for the first time in his life, real mud, and he did +not like the feeling of it. Moreover, he had suddenly grown very +particular about Lalage. They might not be married, in fact he had +decided that there could be no question of marriage between them; but, +none the less, as long as he was going under another name, he wanted +people to believe they had legalised their union, and to respect Lalage +accordingly. Had he not belonged to a family of position, he might have +seen himself as a coward or a cad; but the Griersons were essentially of +the Victorian age, and so he was able to quiet his conscience with +platitudes; whilst under the seeming calmness with which Lalage had +accepted his proposal, she was too glad of any change from the nightmare +of the past to be very critical. She hoped--that was all, resolutely +refusing to allow herself any fears or misgivings. And, after all, Jimmy +was very young so far as these things were concerned, and Lalage was +even younger; so, probably, they would not have listened to, much less +have believed, anyone who had warned them that they were attempting the +impossible. They were happy at the moment, having put the past behind +them, and they were ready to assume that their happiness would last, +ignoring its dangerous insecure foundations. + +In the end, Lalage had her way, so far as the room was concerned. Mrs. +Fagin, the landlady, scenting money easily earned, was absolutely +servile. Jimmy stammered a little over his explanations, but Lalage put +things more plainly. "He will seldom be here; in fact I do not think he +will ever actually need the room," she said. "But it will be an address +for his letters, and you will know what to say if there are any +inquiries. What would be your terms?" + +Mrs. Fagin looked at Jimmy, as if to get his measure. "I'm sure I don't +know, sir," she began. "We haven't had that same thing before, but----." + +"He will pay three shillings a week," Lalage interrupted, "and begin +next week. That should suit you, Mrs. Fagin. Very well," and she sailed +out. + +Jimmy looked at her admiringly. "You do know how to deal with them, +Lalage," he remarked. + +She sighed a little wearily. "I've had to learn that, and a good many +other things, since I came to town." + +Down at the apartment house in the dreary suburban street, Mrs. Benn +accepted a week's notice from Jimmy with a sniff of anger. + +"Very well, sir. You know your own business best, though Mrs. Marlow did +say as how you would be permanent. Without that, I shouldn't have gone +out of my way to give you our own best room, and to wear my health, +which is not too good, out in making you comfortable. But then, Mrs. +Marlow was evidently mistook all round, for she said you would keep +respectable hours and act as such." + +Whereupon Jimmy lost his temper, paid her a week in lieu of notice, and +went straight back to Lalage, who received him with delight. "So you +haven't changed your mind at the last moment, as you would have done if +you had been wise, and good and," she laughed mischievously, +"Grierson-like." + +"All I care about is being good to you, sweetheart," he answered. "But +why do you say 'Grierson-like'?" + +She looked at him critically, her head a little on one side. "Because +you're two men--James Grierson, who is stodgy and respectable and ought +to marry what the other Griersons call a good girl, that is one with +money; and Jimmy, who is awfully sweet and unselfish, just the opposite +to James. Just now, you're Jimmy, the nice side of you is uppermost; but +some day it may be the other way about and then you'll run off and leave +poor Lalage." + +He flushed, and tried to draw her to him. "Never, never," he declared. +"I shall always stick to you. Who else have I got?" + +She shook her head. "You've got your own people, always, ready to have +you, when you'll be one of them; whilst I'm all alone, and only Lalage, +the girl you met by chance in Oxford Street." + +Her words reawakened his curiosity as to her past. Twice before he had +tried to learn her story, but now, as on those occasions, she baffled +his questions. + +"I am Lalage Penrose, that's all. I was a fool, and I've paid for my +folly, and there's nothing else worth telling." + +"Still, I should like to hear," he persisted. + +"Well, perhaps you shall some day, if you don't turn into James Grierson +before then. But--but, don't ask me, Jimmy." Her bantering manner +changed suddenly, and with a queer little sob she jumped up and hurried +into the other room. + +Jimmy did not try to follow her. Instead, he lighted a cigarette, and +endeavoured to settle down to work on an article which had been +suggested by a paragraph in that morning's Record. A quarter of an hour +later Lalage came back with a little bundle of his socks in her hand. + +"These want darning," she remarked; then, in the most natural manner, +she sat down in the big wicker chair beside him, and started to ply her +needle. + +From time to time Jimmy glanced up from his writing. He was breaking +the moral code in which he had been brought up, the code which he knew, +as every sane man does know, is essentially right in principle; he was +risking a rupture with his own people who, certainly, would never +tolerate Lalage; he was face to face with an ugly financial situation, +almost penniless himself and with another dependent on him; and yet he +felt more at peace than he had done for many months past. Lalage, intent +on her needlework, frowning prettily over the large holes in his socks, +looked so sweet and girlish, so entirely unsoiled, outwardly at least, +by what she had been through, that it seemed as if, after all, there +could be nothing wrong. Marriage was only a formality, he told himself, +and from that time on he tried to school himself to think so, almost +succeeding after a while. + +When his article was finished, Jimmy glanced through it rapidly, made +one or two corrections, scrawled his signature at the foot, then turned +to Lalage. "What is the time, dear? Have any of your clock-men come down +the street lately?" + +She looked up with a smile. "Yes, the watercress man, which means five +o'clock. Have you finished now?" + +Jimmy nodded. "I thought of taking it down to the office now. It's +topical, so there's just a chance they'll use it to-night. Will you +come too?" + +"Of course," she answered. "We can get a motor 'bus at the end of the +street, and it'll be a nice little run out. Besides, it'll be lucky if I +go with you. They'll be sure to take it. I've a feeling I shall bring +you luck. Don't you think so yourself?" + +He kissed her lightly on the hair. "I'm sure you will, sweetheart. And +we want lots of luck just now." + +"What a dirty place and what a grumpy old man!" Lalage remarked as they +came out of the _Record_ office, after handing the envelope to the surly +porter, who had taken it with an inarticulate growl and tossed it to a +waiting boy. "Still, if they use it and they're good to you, I don't +mind how dusty their passage is, or how bad tempered the porter looks." + +Jimmy pressed her arm. "Good to us, you mean, don't you?" + +She laughed. "Yes, good to us, I should say now." In the morning Jimmy +was out early to buy a copy of the paper; and, as she opened the door to +him, his radiant face told her the news. + +"They've used it," he said, unnecessarily. + +She laughed softly. "I felt sure they would. You see Lalage is lucky to +you already." + + + + +CHAPTER XV + + +"That last article of yours I used was a very good one, and I shall +always be glad to see anything you like to submit; but the amount of +space we can give to foreign stuff, however good, is limited, and I do +not like to have the same signature more than three or four times a +month," Dodgson wrote, in returning Jimmy's next manuscript. + +Jimmy passed the letter to Lalage. "Not very encouraging, is it dear?" + +The girl read it through. "Oh, I think so. Three or four months means +six or eight guineas from one paper alone, and then, you see, there are +so many others. I'm sure you'll do well, because you're very, very +clever, and because you're good to Lalage." + +"Will that bring me luck?" he asked, smiling. + +"Of course," she answered. "Everyone who is good to me gets on and those +who are horrid come to grief. I've seen it, lots of times." She spoke +seriously, with an air of conviction. + +"Well, I hope you're right." Jimmy sighed. He had not sold any +manuscript for several days, and was feeling distinctly worried about +the future. His original capital had dwindled down to a few shillings, +despite Lalage's careful management, and, so far, he had not been paid +for any of his work. Already, the need of money was crippling him, +robbing him of his powers of imagination, and by that hideous perversity +of effect which every writer knows to his cost, making him do less +instead of the more he longed to produce. + +Lalage, ever an optimist, did her best to cheer him up and to assist +him, searching the papers for news items which might form the basis of +an article, counting the number of words in his manuscripts to see they +did not exceed the regulation column length, and even copying out his +rough notes in her clear, bold handwriting. + +"I wish you could get a typewriter machine, Jimmy," she remarked. "I'm +sure your stuff would have a better chance, and I could soon learn to +use the thing. Other girls do, so I'm sure I can." + +"They cost a lot of money," Jimmy answered, rather wearily. + +Lalage tossed her head. "You can get them on the hire-purchase system. I +believe you think I should get tired of it, you old silly. Now don't +you?" + +The man stooped down and kissed her. "I don't think anything of the +kind. I know you're a brick, only----." He broke off with a sigh, then, +"I'm going down to the club, to see if I can find Kelly. I must do +something before we get in a fix." + +She looked up at him anxiously. "Will you be long, dear? And do be +careful, won't you? You walk through the traffic as if it wasn't there, +unless you have me to look after you." + +When he had gone out, she sat for a long time, very still, staring into +the fire. Already, she was getting a little afraid. Twice, Jimmy had +gone down to the club in the vain hope of hearing of something to do or +picking up some useful hints, and each time he had returned a little +flushed and inclined to be apologetic. Lalage did not blame him, even in +her own mind. It was inevitable, she told herself, after all he had been +through, to the strain of which was now added the anxiety of the +present. She did not blame him, but at the same time, as she glanced +round her little home, she gave a shudder of fear at the possibility of +losing it all and of losing Jimmy as well. "If I were only sure of him, +if I dare trust him, I wouldn't mind, I'd risk it all. But to lose +everything, and then be homeless and alone again----" She suddenly felt +very cold and stooped down to poke the little fire. + +A moment later, the electric bell rang, three times in rapid +succession, a signal she knew well. She stood up quickly, her face very +pale. "It's Ralph," she muttered. "And we want money so badly. I wonder +if he would just lend it." She stood, with clenched hands, trying to +decide. The bell rang again, seemingly more insistently; then, +deliberately, she sat down, and put her fingers in her ears. "Oh, Jimmy, +I won't, because I love you. But I don't believe you trust me, and I +don't believe you understand." + +Down at the club, Jimmy was seeking advice of Douglas Kelly. + +"Hasn't the _Record_ paid you yet?" the latter asked. "Oh, you haven't +sent in an account? You should have done so on the Wednesday after your +stuff appeared, then you would have got a cheque on the Friday +afternoon. Still, if you go down to-day, before five, the cashier will +give it to you. He's a very decent fellow, and, if you're ever badly +stuck, he'll let you have it the day your article appears. I've been +glad enough to get it that way, more than once." + +Jimmy felt that sudden relief which only those who have been desperately +short of money can know. He had led Lalage to understand that he had a +couple of shillings in his pocket for his own needs beyond the +half-crown he left her, whereas he had not even got his omnibus fare +back from Fleet Street. + +"I hate to think of you going out without the money for a drink and so +on," she had said. "What's more, I'm not going to let you do it." So he +had lied bravely to her, knowing that, unless he had some luck, the +half-crown would be needed for food for the morrow. Now, however, he +would have money enough for a good many to-morrows. + +Kelly knew nothing of Lalage, but he understood what the sudden +brightening of Jimmy's face meant. + +"Been hard up?" he asked, with a smile. "Why didn't you come to me, as I +told you to do? Of course, you'll find it an uphill game, and I would +advise you to leave it now, at the start, if I were not sure you would +succeed in the end. You'll have a hard fight, because you've got ability +and experience of the world, and those will tell against you at first." + +"Why?" Jimmy asked. + +Kelly gave a cynical little laugh. "Because there's not much demand for +either in Fleet Street. You've only got to study the Press to see +that--dailies, weeklies, magazines, the whole lot. They want writers who +are just on the level of the mob, because then the mob can understand +them. All your travel won't help you to get a job; but if you could go +into a newspaper office and say, 'I know more about Upper Clapton, or +Stockwell, or some such beastly place than any man living,' or 'I'm a +crime expert, and I can give the names, and dates of execution, of every +man hanged in London for the last twenty years,' then they'd welcome you +as a long-lost brother, and give you about ten pounds a week." + +Jimmy laughed, not quite believing him. "Then how did you yourself get +on?" + +Kelly finished his drink, and ordered some more before answering the +question, then, "I bluffed," he said. "There was a coal strike coming +on, and I swore I was an expert on coal mining, so the _Evening +Guardian_ gave me a job. I picked up a little knowledge locally, just a +few technical terms and so on; and, as for the rest, neither the editor +nor the public knew that half my stuff was utter rot. It read well, and +lent itself to good headlines." + +"And then, after that?" Jimmy asked. + +"After that? Oh, well, I had got my foot in, and it was easy. I +advertised myself, and made the ruck get out of my way, as I told you +before. I'm not loved, but then I'm not in Fleet Street for the sake of +earning the regard of its population." + +Jimmy looked surprised. "They all seem pretty eager to talk to you." + +"Of course they do." Kelly laughed grimly. "Of course they do, because +I'm a power already and I may be an editor by-and-by; but, if I went +down, all they would think about would be to scramble for my place. +Don't think I'm blaming them; they're a decent enough crowd, awfully +decent, but the fight is too hard to have time for thinking about anyone +else. Why you, yourself, are already the common foe, in a sense. You're +taking up space in the _Record_ which, but for you, someone else would +fill. You won't get any help or advice, and most people would say I was +a fool for introducing a possible competitor of my own. You'll feel the +same, if you stick in Fleet Street long enough, which you won't do." + +"I thought you said I was going to succeed," Jimmy retorted. + +Kelly yawned. "So I did, my bright child. But when you've learnt the +ropes, and can afford it, you'll go in for fiction. But just now, all +your ideas are chaotic, and you won't do a decent story until you've +sorted them out and fallen in love." + +Jimmy coloured. "How do you know I've never done that yet?" + +The other man shook his head. "You're too sweetly young in many of your +ways and ideas. Oh, I daresay there's some prim maiden belonging to +your sister's circle, with an aldermanic papa in the City--but you, +yourself, would never really be in love with her. I know you too well; +and if you did marry her, you would never write a book, until you had +run away from her, as you would certainly do. Well," he got up abruptly, +as if to avoid giving any reasons for his ideas, "I'm going over to the +_Record_ office now, and if you come, I'll introduce you to the cashier +and you can get your cheque." + +Jimmy did not waste any time after he left the _Record_ office. The +cashier himself changed the cheque for him, the banks being shut. Jimmy +hesitated a moment as to whether he should take a hansom, then +remembered the lean days of the past, and jumped on an omnibus. Lalage +could make a shilling go a surprisingly long way. + +He found the girl sitting in the dark, in front of an almost dead fire, +and his conscience smote him on account of the time he had spent in the +warm, comfortable club smoking-room. + +"We're in luck, sweetheart," he said, putting his hands on her +shoulders, and kissing her. "I've got the six guineas out of the +_Record_." + +She reached up and pulled his face down to hers again, in one of her +rare bursts of outward affection. "Oh, I'm so glad. I was reckoning up, +and I found you must have gone out without any money, even for tobacco +or a drink, and I was picturing you trudging back in this cold drizzle. +You are a naughty boy to do those things." + +"And how about you, if I spent all the money? Wouldn't you think to +yourself that I was a selfish beast?" + +Lalage shook her head. "You could never be selfish; it's not your +nature. You might be thoughtless, that's all. Promise me you won't go +out like that again. I shall worry ever so much if you don't. I know, +only too well, what it means to trudge about in the London mud without a +penny for even a glass of hot milk. Oh, the cold." She gave a little +shiver. "You know that shop in Regent Street, where they have the big +fires in the window, showing off some stoves. I've stood there for as +long as I dare, more than once, trying to think I was feeling the heat +through the glass." + +"Don't, please don't," Jimmy muttered thickly. "I do hate to think of it +all. And it shan't be so again, I swear it shan't. Let's forget it all +to-night, and go out and have some dinner somewhere, for a change. +You're all on a shiver now. I'll go out and get some brandy, whilst you +put your things on. I may as well bring in a bottle." + +Lalage put her hand on his arm. "Not a bottle, dear, only a quartern. +That'll be quite enough. Do what Lalage tells you this time." + +"Don't I always do what you tell me?" he asked, laughing. + +"Oh, I don't want you to say that," she answered quickly. "You ought to +be your own master; only when I know a thing is right I do like to tell +you. A woman should, I think." + +For an instant, Jimmy felt a wild longing to beg her to change the word +"woman" to that of "wife," but she had already turned towards the door, +and at the same moment the noise of the grimy street seemed to come in +through the window and somehow fill the room. The sound recalled him to +his normal self. How could he, a Grierson, take a wife from those +surroundings? + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + + +Mrs. Marlow had learnt of her brother's sudden change of address with +mingled annoyance and anxiety. It was not pleasant to have him quit the +lodgings she had found for him after so short a trial, and she could not +help feeling that there was some very strong attraction drawing him to +town. Mrs. Benn, that uncompromising "Son of Temperance," had come over +herself to explain matters to Jimmy's sister, and had taken the +opportunity to enlarge on the number of bottles she had found in her +lodger's room, omitting to state, however, that these had included the +best part of a dozen of Bass, which, possibly because she hated liquor +so much, she had promptly sold to her next-door neighbour at a halfpenny +a bottle below the retail price. + +"I'm afraid as how the house was too quiet for Mr. Grierson, mum," she +wound up. "Having nothing to do hisself, except just write, he seemed to +think other folks couldn't be tired and want to go to bed, folks that +worked." She emphasised her words with a truly British scorn for those +who live by their brains. "I'm sure the hours and hours as I've sat up +for him, it's fair worn me out. And him your brother, mum, and uncle to +these lovely little children, what I remember coming into the world." + +Mrs. Marlow wrote plainly to her brother, doing her duty without +flinching. Jimmy read the letter with a grim smile, then handed it to +Lalage, who was bubbling over with wrath long before she reached the end +of it. + +"They are horrid, Jimmy, really they are. They see something wrong in +everything you do. It's quite enough to drive you to the bad, never +giving you a chance, and treating you like a silly little boy. I'm sure +you don't drink as she says you do. She must be a nasty-minded woman. +You know I should be the last to want to separate you from your family, +or anything like that, if they were good to you; but as it is, I'm sure +you're much better here than in those miserable lodgings, all alone and +moping. That would make you drink." + +They were having breakfast at the time, but Lalage looked so sweet, +lying back in a big wicker chair, wrapped in an old kimono of Jimmy's, +that he felt compelled to lean over and kiss her. + +"You won't let me go to drink, will you, Lalage?" he asked. + +"Of course not," she answered promptly. "You know how I feel about +that. Yet your people would never believe it if they found me--when they +find me. We girls," she looked up, a little defiantly, "we girls are +supposed to be everything that is bad; whilst they, your City people, +have got all the virtues, except charity, which they don't imagine they +need." + +Jimmy coloured. "You're a bit rough on them sometimes, Lalage," he said. + +She shook her head emphatically. "I'm not too rough. Have they any idea +of charity, any idea of forgiveness? If I were able to live respectably +again, live a good life, would they, or any of their kind, allow me to +wipe out the past and start afresh?" + +Jimmy suddenly became busy with a cigarette he was rolling. "You are +living a respectable life now," he muttered, weakly evading the +question. + +But Lalage smiled bitterly, and then, with a sudden change of +expression, she laid her hand on his, very gently. "No, Jimmy dear, +let's be straight, even amongst ourselves. You are all right, because +you're a man, and men are allowed to do these things; but they would all +treat me as a bad woman, as something rather worse than a dog. Even you, +dear, don't respect me, in your heart, although I have tried to make +you." + +The man got up suddenly, tossing his newly made cigarette into the +grate. "I do respect you, you know I do. To me, you come before everyone +else in the world; and I think as much of you, as if, as if----" He +stammered a little, and, still very gently, she finished the sentence +for him. + +"As if I were your wife." + +Jimmy's eyes flashed. Somehow, it sounded wonderfully sweet, coming from +her lips, and all his caution, all his Grierson traditions, seemed to +slip from him suddenly. He stood up, very straight, facing her. + +"My wife," he said in a low voice. "My wife. Will you be my wife, +Lalage?" + +The girl turned white, and her hand went to her throat, as though she +were choking, then she looked away, staring into the fire, whilst he +watched her, waiting for her answer with almost pitiful anxiety. + +"Dearest," she began at last, "it's very sweet of you----" Then she +paused again, as though searching for the words, which came to her at +last. "Jimmy, dearest, do you really mean it? Remember, you've only +known me quite a little time, and you can't be sure of me yet. Can you? +You see, if you made a mistake it would spoil your whole life. It means +so much to you." + +"And what does it mean to you?" he asked, thickly. + +"Everything," she answered, simply. "But then, I've spoilt my life +already, and I mustn't spoil yours too." + +"You wouldn't spoil it. You, know that as well as I do. You would give +me something to work for, make me keep up to the mark." He was +thoroughly in earnest now, carried away by the fear of losing her. He +walked up and down the room a couple of times, then stopped in front of +her. "Lalage," he asked, very quietly, "do you love me?" + +The girl nodded, without looking up. + +"Then will you marry me?" He said it deliberately. She clenched her +hands, but answered nothing, till he repeated his question, then she +faced him, white-lipped and wild-eyed. + +"God forgive me for saying it--yes. But not yet, Jimmy, not yet," and +without allowing him to kiss her, she jumped up and ran into the other +room, shutting the door behind her. + +Jimmy walked down to the club that day, not from reasons of +economy--there was still some of the _Record_ money left--but because he +wanted to think matters over, quietly and deliberately. He was conscious +of an unwonted sense of elation--Lalage was to be his, definitely and +finally, so that they could face the world openly, with none of this +miserable business of subterfuge and bogus address; no one would know of +the past. And then, suddenly, he went cold at the thought of the family +inquisition, and the falsehoods he would have to tell; whilst, even if +the latter were not detected, his people would never forgive him for +marrying a stranger, never agree to his marriage until he was in what +they would consider a good position, which would mean years of waiting. +He tried to picture Lalage, with her almost childish outlook on life, +being cross-examined by the cold and immaculate Ida, or sitting down to +dinner in the Marlow house, where even the servants would turn up their +noses at the mention of the ham and beef shop. + +And then if, after they were married, they came across someone belonging +to Lalage's old life--that was the worst idea of all, intolerable, +wholly abominable. Insensibly, he quickened his pace, as though trying +to get away from the thought, then, finding that useless, turned into a +saloon bar, where he remained a full hour, drinking whisky practically +neat, and endeavouring to interest himself in the other people who came +into the place. When, at last, he did reach the club, he was feeling +much more certain of the wisdom of his choice and his ability to manage +his own affairs. He had determined to tell Douglas Kelly, as +practically his only friend, about his engagement; and yet, somehow, he +felt a distinct sense of relief when, in reply to his question, the +waiter said: + +"Mr. Kelly, sir? He has been in, in a great hurry, just for letters and +so on. But," and he lowered his voice discreetly, knowing Kelly to be a +friend of Jimmy's and two other members being near, "but he's gone to +Russia, sir, all in a hurry. Told me to tell you he wouldn't be there +very long, at least he thought not." + +As Jimmy turned away, he found himself face to face with Romsey of the +_Evening Post_, of whom he had seen a good deal during the last few +weeks. + +"Hullo, Grierson," the other said. "You don't look too cheerful. I +suppose you are wondering how the smash is going to affect you." + +Jimmy knit his brow. "What do you mean?" he demanded. "Who has gone to +smash?" + +The reporter gave him an incredulous look. "Where on earth do you live +that you haven't heard? Why the _Comet_ ceased publication last night +without warning, which means there are forty of the best men in Fleet +Street out of jobs, ready to scramble for the space you and I and the +other fellows used to have. Cheerful prospect, isn't it?" + +Jimmy did not answer. He was wondering dully whether any of these men +had ever felt the same degree of desperate anxiety about the future as +he was feeling then. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + + +Things were bad in Fleet Street. Everyone said so, and therefore it +followed that the statement was true. Certainly Jimmy found no reason to +doubt it. His manuscripts came back with horrible regularity, not so +much because they were unsuitable but because there was so little space +and so many eager to fill it. Had he been more experienced he would have +known that things are always bad to the majority, whilst the successful +minority has no time to waste in telling others how it is getting on; +but he was raw to the game, and not over-sanguine by nature, so instead +of being elated by such little luck as he did get he was terribly +discouraged when he counted up the total results of a month's hard work. +He had just managed to scrape together the rent of the flat and the +instalment on the hire-purchase furniture, but that had been all. There +was nothing due to him from any of the papers; he was practically +penniless, as well as a little in debt to such of the local tradesmen as +would allow any credit. His own boots were growing uncomfortably thin, +whilst, as for Lalage, he had not been able to buy her a single thing. +Not that she asked him for anything, rather otherwise. + +"I can manage," she said with a brave attempt at cheerfulness. "These +shoes will do me for some little time yet, as I hardly ever go out, and +I know you'll get me lots of nice clothes when we grow rich." + +But though she tried to encourage him she was not very successful. It is +no easy task to put a new heart into someone else when there is a deadly +fear gripping at your own, and as day after day went by and she saw him +growing thinner, shabbier, more weary and despondent, her own hopes for +the future dwindled down to the vanishing point. Hitherto he had kept +away from his own people, none of whom had seen him since his return +from Northampton; but they were always there in the background, and she +knew that he had only to abandon her and come into line with their ideas +to get his immediate needs supplied and some provision made for his +future in the shape of a steady, respectable occupation. She believed in +his ability as a writer far more than he did himself, but success meant +months, even years, of waiting, and she saw that he had not the strength +to wait. Already his nerve was going and he was trying to steady himself +with whisky. Towards herself he was very loving and gentle, at least +most of the time; but he was quickly becoming too worried to work in +the flat. The sharp knock at the door which heralded the daily visit of +one or other of their small creditors would put him off work for the +rest of the day, and before long he took to spending the day at the +club, sometimes writing, more often mooning about in the vague hope of +meeting someone who could help him into a regular berth on one of the +papers. + +For Lalage these days passed with unutterable slowness. There was, of +necessity, very little to do in the way of cooking, and she had not the +heart to go out. It is miserable work looking into the shop windows +whilst your own pockets are empty, and, moreover, she had long since +divined the terrible jealousy of the past which was always at the back +of Jimmy's mind, and she knew that he hated her to be out by herself, +although, on the other hand, he seemed afraid to be seen out with her. +It was the dread of meeting some of his own people, she understood that +perfectly well, and the knowledge increased her fears for the future. In +the end she was going to lose everything, not only Jimmy but her little +home as well; and all because she had been insane enough to forget that +love was not for such as herself, because she had been wilfully blind to +the fact that Jimmy came from the Griersons, and must ultimately go +back to the Griersons and their kind. + +Now and then there was a red-letter day, when Dodgson of the _Record_ +wired for a special article, which probably meant two guineas on the +morrow. On those occasions Lalage always went down to the office with +Jimmy to hand in the copy because, as Jimmy declared, she was lucky to +him, and, being elated by the commission, he was able to put on one side +the fear of meeting anyone who knew him. But the next returned +manuscript brought back his depression and sent him down to the club +again to waste his time and drink whisky. + +Lalage did not blame him for leaving her the task of meeting the little +tradesmen, who grew foul-mouthed and truculent over an account of two or +three shillings, as is their wont in that part of London. Rather, she +sorrowed over the far smaller share of worry which did fall to him, and +tried to take it all on to her own shoulders. He would leave her, she +fully believed that, and, had she been as her kind is supposed to be, as +perhaps it is, she would have hastened his going in order to be free +again; but because she loved him she was ready to sacrifice anything to +keep him as long as possible. For Jimmy's own sake, too, she dreaded his +going back to his people, knowing, as she did, that he could never +forget her, and that he would inevitably seek oblivion and find death in +the bottle. She had divined his tendency that way from the very first, +and the fear of it had never been out of her mind since. + +Jimmy was still keeping up the nominal address at the house just off +Baker Street, and so far Mrs. Fagin, the landlady, had treated him with +fawning politeness when he paid his weekly rent, but from the very first +he had distrusted her, and he always had the feeling that she would sell +his secret if she discovered the market. Once Mrs. Marlow had called and +had been told by the maid that Mr. Grierson was out for the day and his +room was locked, but there was ever the chance that she might call again +and disclose her identity to Mrs. Fagin. The whole thing was a nightmare +to Jimmy, who sometimes found himself blaming Lalage in his heart for +having suggested the arrangement. He was a supremely miserable man, at +least when he was alone, fearful of his own people, terribly worried +about money matters, jealous almost to the point of madness, and haunted +by the dread of losing Lalage in the end. If only they could have faced +the world openly half the battle would have been over, and they could, +he told himself, have got through the rest somehow together. And yet +since that one day of madness when he had made her promise to be his +wife he had never referred to the subject again. He wanted her for his +own, and yet he shrank from the sacrifice of marriage. He tried to quiet +his conscience by telling himself it was wiser to wait, that it really +made little difference after all; whilst Lalage said nothing, being +already broken-hearted and bankrupt of hope. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + + +When she found time to think about him seriously, which was not very +often, Mrs. Marlow was far from being satisfied as to Jimmy's doings or +prospects. Someone had reported having seen him walking down Fleet +Street late at night, looking ill and down at heel, and the news upset +her. It was not pleasant to have these things said about one of the +family, even though he, himself, might be entirely to blame for it. She +would have asked him down to stay for a week-end, but for the fact that +she did not want him to meet Ethel Grimmer again, having the feeling +that he might tell that lady things which he would not confide to his +own sister. But she took counsel with Ida, and, in the end, they decided +that Walter Grierson was the right person to make an investigation. + +Rather unwillingly, Walter undertook the task, or said he would +undertake it, and, after consultation with his wife, who was not in the +least interested, detesting both Ida and May, asked Jimmy down to stay, +three or four days. + +"I'm sure I haven't any desire to go," Jimmy said, as he read the +letter to Lalage. Then he coughed a little and put his handkerchief to +his mouth. + +Lalage watched him with big, troubled eyes, not for the first time. "I +think you had better go, dear," she said. "The change may do you good, +and it'll take your mind off these stupid worries. I shall manage all +right alone. I'm used to it, you see." + +He took her words in the wrong sense, and glanced at her with sudden +jealous suspicion, which she saw and strove hard to ignore. "You see, +there's nothing urgent due just now," she went on, hurriedly, "and I've +enough food in the house to last me out. If I get some condensed milk +in, I can pretend we're both away." + +Jimmy had the grace to feel ashamed of his own thoughts. "I must see you +fixed up, sweetheart, of course, and, anyway, one night will be enough +for me at Walter's. As for money, there will be a guinea and a half +coming from the _Sunday Echo_ to-morrow. It's their pay day, the second +Friday." + +But Lalage shook her head. "You must have that for a new pair of boots, +Jimmy, and one or two little things. I can't let you go as you are. I +only wish there had been more time, so that we could have saved enough +for a new suit for you." She looked at his figure critically. "I know a +place where they sell misfits very cheap, good ones, and you might get +one to fit you. They would take my dinner dress in exchange, I'm sure." + +"No, no." Jimmy leaned forward and kissed her hand. "I won't have that. +I can manage, and if Mrs. Walter thinks I'm too shabby, she won't ask me +again, which will be a relief." + +Lalage sighed. "I hate to see you looking thin and ill and poor. It just +breaks my heart." She gave a little sob. "But, oh, Jimmy dearest, when +you get to your brother's big house, don't despise Lalage and our poor +little place here; because we have been so happy in it, in spite of all +our troubles." + +He drew her to him, very gently. "That will never happen, dear. I won't +go at all, if you're afraid of anything like that. I would much rather +not go, anyway. You are all I want." + +But she had her way in everything, save that he insisted on leaving her +five shillings, in addition to laying in a stock of provisions. + +"Really, I don't want any money," she said; "or a shilling at the most, +in case I want to wire to you. Take the money, Jimmy, do; you will want +a drink at the station, and that sort of thing." + +He looked at her with shining eyes. "Do you ever think of yourself?" he +asked. + +"Of course I do," she laughed. "I want to make you happy, and then I'm +happy, so really I'm selfish, after all." + +In the end, Jimmy stayed three days at Walter's, and, if he did not +actually enjoy himself, at least he was well content to be there. It was +very refreshing to be away from all worries, to have no one asking you +for money, to feel you could go out of the door without the fear of +meeting some miserable creditor. There was plenty to eat, plenty to +drink; and, even if he was not actually in sympathy with Walter and his +ways, there was always the tie of blood between them. Mrs. Walter, too, +made herself very pleasant. She had induced her husband to promise not +to lend Jimmy any money, so she had nothing to fear from this +brother-in-law; whilst, by getting on good terms with him otherwise, she +might be able to use him as a pawn in her never-ending game against May +and Ida. + +Jimmy thought of Lalage frequently, wondering how she was getting on, +and trying to persuade himself that he was anxious to get back to her; +and yet, all the time, he was comparing his present surroundings with +those of the flat, and dreading the return to the dreary struggle for +existence, the hateful knockings at the door, the insolent refusal of +goods without cash down, the feeling that you were always on thin ice, +in the grip of the Council, the blackmailers, and the hire-purchase +dealers, who did to you as they pleased, because they knew well that you +dare not face the world openly. There was nothing like that at the +Walter Griersons'. They lived as people of position ought to live, as +he, Jimmy Grierson, might have lived, had he not been a fool. And then, +suddenly, he thought of Lalage's unselfishness and courage and tried to +tell himself that, after all, it was worth while. But still, he never +felt as he had felt at Ida's, that fierce longing to be back at Lalage's +side, to fight the world on her behalf. London had broken his nerve +rapidly, and was now breaking his health. Somehow, things had changed. +He longed for rest and comfort and security, such as his own people +enjoyed. + +Walter Grierson took his wife's advice and did not attempt to pry into +Jimmy's affairs. "He is quite old enough to look after himself," Mrs. +Walter said, "and I don't see why you should be private detective for +May and Ida. I believe they would try and manage you, too, if I would +let them. Oh, but they would, my dear. And yet I'm sure we have a better +position than either of them. Joseph is very coarse at times, whilst +you say yourself that you do not approve of several of Henry's +companies." She scouted the idea that Jimmy looked unwell. "He's got a +cold, that's all; and he smokes too much. Otherwise, he is well enough." + +Walter sighed. "I wish he would go into something steady. I'm afraid he +will never make an income at his present work." + +Mrs. Walter shrugged her shoulders. "He wouldn't take your advice when +he first came home, so he can't blame you whatever happens. May seems to +be afraid he may make some foolish marriage, but I'm sure I see no signs +of that. Of course, if he likes to be sensible and come to you for +advice again, I should be pleased if you were able to find him work in +the City; but, at present, you are not called upon to interfere. I am +sure our own children come first." + +Her husband sighed again. He was quite fond of this brother of whom he +knew so little, but he never ran counter to his wife's wishes in family +affairs; and so, when Jimmy's stay came to an end, he allowed Mrs. +Walter to send May a vague, though generally satisfactory, report of +their visitor and his doings, which had the result of staving off +further inquiries for a time, at least. + +"You look better, dear," Lalage said when Jimmy got back. "I knew the +change would do you good. No, I've not been worried at all. Only, of +course, it's been dull without you.... Are you going down to the club +for letters? Well, be in to supper, won't you, dear? I've got something +very nice for you." + +"What is it?" he asked, smiling. + +"You'll see," she answered. "If I don't tell you, you'll hurry home to +find out. Otherwise, you may stay ever so late at that horrid old club." + +The first man Jimmy met in the club was Douglas Kelly, newly returned +from the Continent. Kelly listened attentively to his tale of +ill-success, and when he had done, "I really don't see why you should be +so down in the mouth, Jimmy," the elder man said. "I believe you've done +better than most who start freelancing when they're new to Fleet Street. +Why don't you try some magazine work? It's a better game than doing +articles for the dailies." + +Jimmy shook his head. "I have tried, but I don't seem to get the grip of +a story. I suppose I've no inventive power." + +"Rot," Kelly answered cheerfully. "It's because you're worrying, and you +can't do that and write decent stuff. Have you tried for a job +anywhere?" + +The other nodded. "Half a dozen. But they all want experienced men, and, +as things stand, I don't see how I'm ever going to get the experience." + +"Would you do sub-editing?" Kelly asked. "It's not pleasant work, going +through other people's copy, and so on; but it's good training. You +would take anything? All right. I'll see Dodgson to-night. I know he was +thinking of sacking one of the subs, and he might take you on. I'll +leave a note here for you if I don't see you again. Of course, the pay +is rotten, as I suppose you know." + +Jimmy was so full of his conversation with Kelly that he had forgotten +all about Lalage's promised surprise which was awaiting him at the flat. +True, he hurried back, but she saw at once that it was to tell her his +news, and not to find out what she had prepared for him; in fact, he sat +down at the table, and was about to carve, before it struck him that the +dinner was an unusually elaborate one; then, "How on earth did you +manage it, sweetheart?" he asked. + +She laughed. "How do you think? I schemed it out for a whole day, all on +that five shillings you made me keep. I meant you to have it, and you +see you've had to, after all." + +The man flushed. "You are a brick," he said. "You haven't spent a penny +on yourself, and yet I've been living on the fat of the land at +Walter's. But this is better than anything they gave me there." + +"That's right," she answered. "So long as you enjoy it, I don't mind all +the trouble--so long as we enjoy it together, I meant. And now if you +get this work perhaps the luck will change." + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + + +It was quite time that the _Record_ had a vacancy for a sub-editor, and +Dodgson was willing to give the berth to Jimmy; only his ideas of salary +were far from being satisfactory. + +"You see, you're new to the work, wholly inexperienced," he explained, +"and, under the circumstances, I cannot give you more than two pounds a +week for a start. Afterwards, if the chief sub-editor is satisfied, I +will raise it. If it is worth your while you can start to-morrow." + +Jimmy bit his lip. He had expected three pounds at the very least, and +this would be poor news to take back to Lalage. Still, his work would +only be from about six in the evening until midnight, and he could do +some articles or stories during the day, or at any rate he hoped so. +After all, a certain two pounds was far better than nothing, even though +the rent of the flat would swallow fully half of it. So he accepted, +after a nervous and unsuccessful attempt to get Dodgson to increase the +offer by ten shillings. + +As he walked back westwards, he found himself wondering what the editor +would have said had he explained how much that extra ten shillings +would have meant to him. The paper was paying a dividend of twenty per +cent., and if the wages of all the sub-editors had been doubled the +shareholders would never have noticed the difference; but to Lalage and +Jimmy the lack of that half-sovereign would involve semi-starvation, +unless it were possible to sell some articles. + +Lalage put on a brave face when he told her. "It's a beginning, dear," +she said. "Of course, it's a shame to pay a clever man like you so +little; but now you've got your foot in, you'll soon get on. You mustn't +be downhearted about it, Jimmy." She glanced at him keenly. "You're +tired out to-night, and I don't believe you've spent anything on +yourself in getting a drink and so on; and you've walked all the way +from Fleet Street. Now haven't you?" + +Jimmy tried to protest he was all right, but his heavy eyes betrayed +him, and she insisted that he should go out and get a quartern of +brandy. + +"But that will take pretty well all we've got," he answered. "And what +will you do to-morrow?" + +"Oh, something will happen," she retorted. "And the worst thing for me +would be to have you ill. What would poor Lalage do then? Now go, like a +dear good boy." + +As the door closed behind him, all the brightness left her face. "I +suppose his people would say I was making him drink," she sighed. "Oh, +Jimmy, Jimmy, I'm so afraid. If only I dare agree to give up this flat, +and we could go into quite cheap lodgings. But how can I risk losing +everything?" + +Jimmy's work proved more tiring than he had expected. He was thoroughly +conscientious, savagely anxious to satisfy the chief sub-editor and get +a raise; moreover, he was in anything but good health. Consequently, he +always got back to the flat in the early mornings tired out, and, though +he tried hard to write during the daytime, even he, himself, could see +that the work he produced was below his usual level. Anyway, it did not +sell, coming back every time with sickening regularity. + +Despite his protests, Lalage always insisted on sitting up for him. "You +must have something hot when you come in," she declared, "even if we can +only run to a cup of cocoa and a little bit of plaice from the fried +fish shop. You can't do brain work on nothing." + +Jimmy gladly left all the finances to her. Sometimes he wondered how she +contrived to feed him as well as she did, besides paying the rent, and +letting him have at least a shilling a night when he went down to the +office. She even managed to get some bottled stout for him, and yet, at +any rate whilst he was at home, no one came to the door to dun her for +money. Had he been stronger, he would probably have been suspicious and +have made inquiries; but he was thoroughly run down and weary, and only +too ready to be free from household worries. He had never kept house +himself, knew but little of the cost of things, and had infinite faith +in Lalage's capacity for management. + +Once or twice, during the first three months of Jimmy's engagement at +the _Record_, Dodgson asked him to write a special article with +reference to something which had happened abroad, and, when he went to +draw his money for the first of these, Jimmy found that his rate had +been raised to three guineas a column; but his weekly wage remained the +same, and, somehow, he could not summon up courage to ask boldly for a +raise. He was, as Lalage could see plainly, growing a little thinner, a +little more weary and nervous, every week. + +At the end of the second month, Lalage sprang a surprise on him. They +were at breakfast when, with a rather heightened colour, she brought +five sovereigns out of her purse and gave them to him. "Jimmy," she +said, hurriedly, "you must get a new suit, and some collars and ties +and things, really you must." + +He looked at the money, then at her. "Where did you get this, Lalage?" +he asked, very quietly. + +She faced him so bravely that his suspicions vanished at once. "I saved +it up, from those articles of yours." + +"And how about you? You want things far more than I do, sweetheart. I +don't think you have had any new clothes since I met you." + +Lalage shook her head vehemently. "That's for you. You have to go to +work, and it worries me terribly when I see you shabby. You will feel +ever so much better when you've got a new suit, and they'll think more +of you at the office. Clothes give one confidence. Now, you shall come +out this morning and order a nice dark tweed, or a grey. I'm not sure I +shan't like you best in grey. Anyway, we'll see." + +The new clothes certainly made Jimmy look better, and, for a little +while, Lalage deluded herself into the belief that he really was growing +stronger; then one night he came home shivering, with a severe chill, +and his old enemy, the malaria, gripped him again. True, he was only +absent from the office two nights; but the trouble seemed to remain, and +Lalage had to redouble her efforts to feed him up. Often, during those +days, she tried to steel herself into sending him away, into forcing +him to go back to his own people to be nursed as they could afford to +nurse him; but when it came to the point of speaking, her resolution +always failed her. She could not bear to part from him--yet. And, if she +did send him away, there was always the fear, amounting almost to a +certainty, that he would drink to drown remembrance of her. + +No, she told herself, she must keep him as long as she could, for his +own sake, as well as for hers. What would happen to herself if the +parting did come, she never tried to consider. The thought of it was too +awful. Jimmy had been so sweet and kind and thoughtful that it was +absolutely impossible for her to imagine anyone replacing him. The fact +that the question of marriage between them had been tacitly dropped did +not weigh with her now. She had never dared to hope that he would redeem +his promise eventually; and, latterly, she had tried to make herself +forget that the matter had ever been mentioned between them. + +Jimmy had seen none of his own people since his visit to the Walter +Griersons'. His work gave him a good and sufficient excuse for not +leaving town, and it never occurred to him to call on either Henry or +Walter in the City. Still, he wrote frequently; and, as time went on, +he began to lose some of his fear of their discovering the existence of +Lalage. Neither Ida nor May seemed to have any suspicions, so far as he +could judge from their letters. Consequently, it gave him a terrible +shock when, one morning, about the beginning of his fourth month on the +_Record_, he received a wire from May commanding him to meet her as soon +as possible at Walter's office. + +Lalage, who had gone deadly pale, picked up the detestable brown +envelope. + +"It's addressed here. So they know," she whispered. + +"Yes, they know," he repeated dully. + +They sat for a long time in silence, then he got up, evidently intending +to go out. + +Lalage stood up, too. "Jimmy, you will leave me," she said. + +He turned round quickly and took her in his arms. "Never, never, +sweetheart. After all you've done for me! You ought to know me better." + +For answer, she gave him a long, passionate kiss, as though saying +farewell. + + + + +CHAPTER XX + + +Mrs. Marlow was a good woman. The rector himself had told her so only +the week before when she had given him a cheque for twenty guineas in +aid of his favourite charity, the Mission to the Moabites. Consequently, +the discovery of Jimmy's double life had filled her with both sorrow and +loathing; sorrow at the thought that a Grierson should have been so weak +and foolish, loathing at the conduct of the woman who led him astray. +She was sitting very grim and upright in the client's chair when Jimmy +came in; whilst Walter was at the other side of the table, nervously +playing with his eyeglasses and wishing inwardly he had telegraphed for +his wife, a proposal which May had vetoed. + +"Excuse me, Walter, but this is a matter for our father's children +only," she had said, and Walter had, as usual, bowed to her ruling. Ever +since their mother's death May had been the high priestess of the family +fetish, the position of the Griersons. + +The two brothers shook hands in silence, but Mrs. Marlow made no move +beyond the very slightest nod, which seemed to be merely a recognition +of the fact that the culprit had arrived. + +Jimmy laid his hat on the table, then went and leaned against the +fireplace with an assumption of indifference. "Well, May," he said at +last, "what is it?" + +His sister turned on him suddenly. "Please don't be a hypocrite any +more, Jimmy, if you can help it." Her voice was hard and scornful. "You +must know from my wire that we have found out all about your disgraceful +conduct. As a matter of fact we knew of it a week ago, and might have +sent for you then, but we have had detectives making inquiries into +that," she hesitated, "that person's character and antecedents in the +hope of being able to open your eyes. Isn't that so, Walter?" + +The elder man nodded and gave a little grunt of acquiescence, though it +was obvious he did not relish being dragged into the matter at all. + +Jimmy, white with sudden passion, took a step forward. "Confound it, +May----" he began. + +His sister put her hands to her ears. "Please don't make it worse by +swearing at me. I am not the Penrose woman. We have the right to speak +to you as one of the family, if only to save you from further disgrace, +and perhaps prosecution,"--she emphasised the last words, and then +repeated them, "yes, from prosecution. Not only has this person been +bleeding you, working you to death, and taking your last penny----" + +Jimmy, remembering all that Lalage had done for him during the past +three months, cut her short savagely. "That's a lie. She's been +everything a woman should be to me." + +His sister laughed in bitter scorn. "And to half a dozen other men as +well. Oh, Jimmy, Jimmy, what a fool you are, how you've been fooled. Do +you think she's been true to you? Do you think a vile creature like that +could be true to anyone? No, I will speak for all your swearing at me. +Do you think that whilst you have been slaving at that office at nights +she has been at home thinking of you? Oh, you have been a blind fool! +She has told you lies about everything, over the rent, over the amount +she had to pay to the hire-purchase people, over what she was spending. +Do you think your paltry two pounds a week was sufficient to dress her +and keep her in luxury?" + +Jimmy turned away, gripping the mantelpiece for support. He remembered +many little things which had given him a momentary pang of suspicion at +the time; now, suddenly those suspicions became certainties; and when he +looked round again his face was five years older, for he had loved +Lalage, and he knew that May was telling him the truth. He had been a +blind fool; but still the remembrance of the past was strong in him, and +he made a last fight against believing. + +"It's a lie, it's a lie," he repeated hoarsely. There was something in +his eyes which nearly broke down May's hardness, a look she had never +seen on any man's face before, which she never got out of her memory +again. + +"I know it hurts, Jimmy, dear," she said far more gently. "It must hurt +because you've been infatuated by a very clever and bad woman; but for +all that it is true. Do you know anything of her past? What has she told +you? We know now that she was the daughter of a scientific writer, and +that, even when he lay on his dying bed, she went away with someone, +then came back with a lie in her mouth, about having been to town, +selling one of his unpublished books. Her own aunt told us of it, her +aunt by marriage." + +"I don't believe it. I won't believe it," Jimmy muttered. + +May shrugged her shoulders. "We have proofs, the best of proofs. Is it +not so, Walter?" + +The elder brother nodded without looking up. In his case, too, it was +the first time tragedy, real tragedy, had come into his life, and it was +making him think. He realised dimly that the light had gone out for +Jimmy, and as he scratched lines on his blotting-pad with the rim of his +eyeglasses, he fell to wondering, in a dull, far-off sort of way, +whether his brother would shoot himself as their father had done, and +what the coroner's verdict would be, and what the world, by which he +meant the City, would say. Then the spring of his glasses snapped +suddenly, and the annoyance brought him back sharply to the immediate +present. + +"Yes, we have complete proof, legal proof," he said. "Your sister is +quite right." Words seemed to be failing him, then he got up abruptly +and laid a kindly hand on Jimmy's shoulder, as he had often done many +years before when they had both been boys. "It's better for you to know, +old man. She's a bad lot, and you're well clear of it all. You'll soon +forget her and find someone very different." + +His words had the effect of rousing May's anger anew. "Don't talk like +that, Walter, please," she said sharply. "It's hardly decent under the +present circumstances. I presume, Jimmy, that after what we have told +you, you will neither see nor write to that creature again." + +Jimmy's eyes flashed. "I shall see her and ask her side of it. Am I to +condemn her unheard on the strength of the gossip some vile hangers-on +have concocted in return for your money? I shall go down there at once." + +Mrs. Marlow's laugh was very scornful. "I said you were a fool. Of +course, she'll lie to you again, and wheedle round you. As for the +hangers-on, to use your own elegant term, I heard first from Mrs. Fagin, +who is a most respectable woman, I find, with a husband in a very good +position in the Council office. She had no idea she was lending herself +to such a deception, and sent me to the mayor, who very kindly had +inquiries made. Then we actually caught this woman, as you can see by +these." + +She held out a little bundle of papers which Jimmy took mechanically, +fingered for a moment, then with a sudden resolution he tossed it into +the fire, and as it did not catch immediately drove it down into the +glowing coals with the heel of his boot. + +May watched him in silence, but when the blaze had died down again, +"That stupid action won't alter the facts," she said; "and I may as well +tell you that the mayor has asked the police to make her leave that +flat. I am only sorry there is no charge we can bring against her. +Anyway, she will be watched," she added vindictively. "Ida has gone to +warn her now in case she tries to blackmail you." + +Jimmy took up his hat quickly. "Good-bye, Walter," he said quietly, +and, ignoring his sister, fumbled a little uncertainly for the handle of +the door. + +May sprang up and seized his arm. "Jimmy, oh, Jimmy, dear, don't go like +that, don't go back to her. We are your own people, you must remember +that, and because we love you, we want to overlook all this and see you +get on. Don't spoil your life in this way and make us all miserable. If +you see her again she has enough wicked cleverness to get you back into +her power." + +There was genuine feeling in her voice, and for a moment Jimmy was +inclined to change his mind, then he released her clutch very gently, +and without another word went out of the office. + +"He will go back to her, Walter, I am sure he will. He is weak enough +for anything where a woman is concerned," May sobbed. + +Walter shook his head. "I think not. No, I'm sure he won't," he said +with a degree of assurance he was far from feeling; then he looked at +his watch. "Well, I've got an appointment with a client in a few +minutes, May; I don't want to hurry you off, but----" + +May wiped her eyes and drew down her veil. "I do hope Ida manages to +frighten her away before Jimmy gets there," she said. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI + + +Ida Fenton did not shrink from the task of interviewing Lalage. Rather +otherwise, in fact, for her own conduct had always been so correct, both +her nature and her circumstances combining to keep her out of +temptation, that she felt a repulsion, verging almost on hatred, towards +those who had erred; consequently, she took a kind of grim pleasure in +chastening the sinner. Unconsciously, too, Joseph Fenton had made things +worse for Lalage by attempting a remonstrance. + +"I think you and May are going too far, putting the police on her and so +on," he had said. "Why can't you be content to give Jimmy a warning, and +leave the girl alone. It looks bad, being so vindictive." + +Whereupon Ida had turned on him in one of those cold outbursts of fury +which his rare attempts at independence always provoked. She had given +up her life to this man, whose natural, easy-going weakness of character +she knew so well; and now he actually dared to put in a good word for an +abandoned woman. As a rule, Joseph bowed to the storm, but on this +occasion he, too, had lost his temper, and then, suddenly Ida had +understood, or had thought she understood. Joseph knew Lalage's address. +Jealousy redoubled Ida's bitterness, and she went to the flat more than +ever determined to hunt its occupant out into the streets. A woman as +good as herself had a perfect right to be merciless. + +When Lalage opened the door she realised instantly who her visitor must +be. That hard, beautiful face was as like Jimmy's in features as it was +unlike his in expression. Looking at it, Lalage understood that her own +cause was lost; it would be quite useless pleading to Ida Fenton. + +The visitor swept in scornfully. Lalage closed the door and then stood, +waiting, white-faced and desperate. + +"I have come for Mr. Grierson's things. Kindly pack them up and have +them taken down to my cab." Ida's quiet voice belied the savage anger +which the sight of this girl had aroused. + +Lalage started. She had never thought of this. Could it be that Jimmy +was not coming back at all, even to say "Good-bye," that she would never +see him again? + +"Did he send you?" she asked breathlessly. + +In a good cause, Ida did not hesitate to strain the truth. "Of course," +she answered impatiently, then she went a little too far, and added +something which she thought would hurt. "He is waiting down below now." + +Lalage made a rapid mental calculation. Jimmy had only set out for the +City twenty minutes before, and could not have returned, so she laughed +bitterly. "I will give them to Mr. Grierson when he comes for them +himself," she answered. + +Ida's steely eyes glittered. "He will not be such a fool as to come +back, weak and wicked though he has been." + +The younger woman took a step forward so suddenly that Mrs. Fenton +recoiled. "He is not weak and wicked. It is abominable for you, his +sister, to say so. He is far too good for any of you, and whatever he +has done wrong, you are to blame for it. You never tried to understand +him or help him. You just left him drift away because he didn't fall in +with your narrow-minded ideas. I may have done wrong, I have done wrong; +but he has always been all that is good and true and honourable. He may +leave me, but he'll never go back to you, never, never, never." She +paused, breathless. + +Ida Fenton had recovered her composure. "Perhaps it will alter your +point of view when I tell you that if my brother continues to know you, +he will never get anything from his family. We shall cut him off +entirely. I believe that is the kind of argument which appeals to +persons of your sort." She emphasised the last two words. "He may have +misled you with the idea that he could get money out of us; but that was +quite wrong; whilst, as for his own prospects, he is no good and never +will be." + +"You shan't say that about him," Lalage broke in passionately. "It's +only your ignorance and your jealousy of his cleverness." + +Ida shrugged her shoulders scornfully. "No doubt you are a judge of what +is correct and right. You should know my brother by now. But I think he, +too, will have learnt all about you this morning. That telegram which +trapped you a few nights back, calling you out to meet a man in the West +End, was sent by one of my brother-in-law's clerks. You were watched +then, and recognised by the police. You will get notice to leave here +to-day, and I do not think you will find another place in London. If you +can explain all that to my brother to his satisfaction, he must be such +a fool that you will be welcome to him." + +Then she swept out, feeling she had vindicated the Grierson tradition. + +It was an hour later, when Lalage heard Jimmy's key in the lock. She was +sitting huddled up in a big armchair, his favourite chair; but she did +not move when he came in, and stood in front of her, though she had +noticed that he was dragging his feet a little, and breathing heavily, +as though the stairs had exhausted him. + +"Well?" he said at last. + +She turned her head away. "Your sister came soon after you left," she +said, in a curious, dull voice. + +Jimmy started. "Ida? Ida has been here already?" He passed his hand over +his forehead in a dazed sort of way, then tried to pull himself +together, as though to meet a blow. "Is it true, Lalage?" he asked. + +She answered him with a nod. + +On the second time that day, Jimmy steadied himself by the mantelpiece, +only now his head went down on to his arms, and Lalage heard him give a +sob. + +In an instant she was on her feet, trying to turn his face towards hers. +"Oh, I did it all for you, Jimmy, I did it all for you. Do you believe +that, oh, you must believe that. You were ill and half-starving, and I +had to get you nourishment and clothes. It was the quickest way, the +only way I could think of; and it seemed so lovely to get you good food, +and make you stronger. It was awful, but it would have been more awful +to see you dying. Jimmy, believe me, you must believe me, every penny +went for you. I didn't want it for myself, only for you; and I thought +when the worry and the knocking at the door by the tradesmen were over, +you would soon get on, and then I would have stopped, oh, so gladly. +Jimmy, dear, Jimmy, sweetheart, say you understand, even if you don't +forgive." + +The man looked up, and, for the first time, Lalage saw how he had +changed. He was livid and ghastly, and, when he tried to speak, he +caught his breath and coughed heavily. Lalage waited with pitiful +anxiety for his answer. + +"I understand," he said, "but you ought not to have done it, after your +promising to marry me." + +She turned away hopelessly, and sank into the chair again, knowing she +had lost him. "I did it for the best," she wailed. "I only thought of +you, Jimmy, only of you." + +"You were wrong," he answered dully. "We were both wrong. It has all +been a mistake from the first. There is nothing but misery in this sort +of life, there can only be misery." He was talking in a detached kind of +way, as though the pain of the blow had been succeeded by a mental +numbness. + +Lalage was sobbing very quietly in the chair; it was the end of +everything for her. + +After a while, "What will you do now?" he asked. + +She shook her head. "I don't know. I don't think I care, now I've lost +you." She waited a moment in a last, desperate hope he would correct +her, then went on, "Your people have been to the police, and they're +hunting me out. Already, the agent has been round to give me notice to +go immediately, and the hire-purchase people are sending for the +furniture back. Everything has gone. Still I shall manage." + +In a flash, he was jealous again. "Do you mean to say----" he began; but +she cut him short. + +"No, Jimmy, not that. You need never fear the old life again." + +Her words gave him a new fear. "Will you promise you won't kill +yourself?" He had come nearer to her, and she thought he was going to +touch her. + +For a moment she hesitated, confirming his suspicions. + +"Promise," he said, almost sternly. + +Then she looked up, and asked him a question in turn: "What will you do, +Jimmy?" + +He had no reply ready, or, at any rate, he did not reply, and she went +on. "I will promise that, Jimmy, if you will promise me something. +Promise, on your word of honour, not to let this ruin your life, not to +go wrong and drink." + +Jimmy did as she had done; he hesitated a moment. "I will promise, if +you will do as I want--go down into the country, away from this horrible +town, and live quietly. I will manage the money, somehow." + +"And not see you again? Jimmy, you don't mean not see you again, just as +a friend, only as a friend?" + +His silence answered her, and she fell to sobbing once more, very +quietly this time, whilst he stood at the window, staring out at +nothing. At last, she grew calm and stood up, drying her eyes. + +"Very well," she said. "I will leave it all to you, because I can't help +myself. After a time, when I feel better, I shall get something to do, +perhaps, in a shop, or dressmaking. Only, the quieter the place the +better; and, Jimmy, whatever you do, you must not let your people know +where I am." + +"It is hardly likely I shall see much of them," he answered grimly. "I +think you had better go to some quiet hotel to-night," he added. "Get +your things together, and I will see you to-morrow and arrange matters +then. You say they are seizing all this furniture and so on." + +They had both got back to a kind of forced calmness now, and she +answered him quietly. "Yes, my poor little home is going. It's no good +protesting; your sisters have made that impossible; and these people can +do just as they like. I suppose the landlord telephoned to the furniture +people, and they are going shares. Yet I have already paid more than the +goods are worth." + +Half an hour later, she came out of the bedroom with her hat on. + +"I have packed your things as well, Jimmy. What are you going to do with +them? Will you take them away now, and then I can leave the keys at the +agent's office as we go past." + +Jimmy started. He had forgotten they were both homeless now. "Yes, I +suppose so. I hadn't thought. I will go to the hotel I stayed at before, +and then take you down to another. I will go and get a cab." + +Whilst he was out, Lalage hastily tidied up her little kitchen; then, +taking a dustpan and brush, she swept up a few scraps of mud which had +come off Jimmy's boots. In a drawer of the table she found his pen and a +scrap of blotting paper he had used, and thrust them hurriedly into her +dress. Then, during a final look round, she kissed in turn each article +of furniture he had been wont to use, heedless of the tears that were +dropping on them, coming last of all to his own chair, where she knelt +down and buried her face in the seat. She was still there when she heard +his step on the stairs; but she jumped up hastily and met him in the +little hall, whither she had dragged the luggage. + +"It is all ready now," she said, and went out without looking back. + +When Jimmy got down to the club a couple of hours later, he found a +telegram waiting for him in the rack, signed "Joseph Fenton." + +It read: "Meet me any time to-night at the Grand Central Hotel. Shall be +alone." + + + + +CHAPTER XXII + + +Jimmy heaved a sigh of relief as he read the telegram. In after years, +he looked back on it as the one ray of brightness in the most ghastly +day of his life. It did not alter the essential fact that everything had +gone to pieces--nothing could alter that--but it made matters less +complicated so far as Lalage's immediate future was concerned. He had +intended asking his brother-in-law for a loan, and it was a load off his +mind to find that Joseph was actually in town. A letter might, probably +would, have fallen into Ida's hands, and this was one of those cases +where an interview was better than many pages of explanations. + +In reply to the telegram, Jimmy wired that he would be at the hotel at +nine o'clock. He had given up all idea of going to the office that +night, or, rather, of ever going there again. He must get away, at once, +from everything which might remind him of the old life. He must cut +himself adrift from it, immediately, altogether, if he wished to +preserve his sanity. For himself, he cared nothing, at least at the +moment; but, though he might never see her again once she had left +London, he had to provide for Lalage. The Grierson strain in him had +asserted itself in so far as it had made him determine to leave Lalage. +He was able now to see her sin and his own, especially hers; but still +he could not abandon her to her fate, as a true Grierson would have +done, because he had been passionately in love, whilst the love of the +true Grierson is always decorous, and truly tempered by financial +considerations. The dowerless bride is regarded with coldness; the bride +with a past is anathema; there is no road back, at least in the opinion +of those who have sub-edited their religion in the interests of +propriety. + +Jimmy had no difficulty in finding a substitute to take on his work at +the _Record_ office, especially when he made it known that there was +going to be a vacancy on the staff immediately. + +"I'm a bit knocked out," he explained. "The malaria has got hold of me +again, and the doctor says I must go out at once." + +The other man nodded sympathetically, and suggested a drink. He, +himself, had been out of work for nearly six months, and the chance of +securing Jimmy's berth had altered the whole outlook for him. + +"Yes, you do look off colour," he said. "I've noticed it several times +lately. Night work doesn't suit you, I suppose. Now, I'm used to it, +been at it for years. Well, I'll give Dodgson this note of yours. It'll +be all right. He knows me well enough. So long. Thanks very much for +thinking of me." + +Jimmy turned wearily, and went down the corridor to the dining-room. He +had eaten nothing all day, and it struck him Lalage would be worried if +she knew. + +"Bring me anything you like," he said to the waiter, but when the plates +came he merely took one mouthful, and then sat, staring with unseeing +eyes at a paper he had picked up, whilst the gravy grew cold and greasy. +He was wondering what Lalage was doing, alone in that little hotel near +the General Post Office. + +"As long as it's quiet, Jimmy, that's all I care about; and the further +from the West End the better. Noise would drive me quite mad, I think," +she had said. + +So far, he had not tried to analyse his own feelings toward Lalage. All +he knew was that he was sounding the lowest depths of misery, and he +speculated, more or less vaguely, whether she could understand what he +was suffering. He wanted to blame her, in fact he knew that he ought to +blame her, that she had betrayed him and had sinned beyond all hope of +forgiveness; and yet in his ears there was still ringing her +heart-broken wail, "I did it all for you Jimmy, I did it all for you." + +At last the voice of the waiter broke in on his thoughts. "You don't +seem to like that, sir. Anything I can get for you instead?" + +Jimmy started. "No, no. It's quite all right. I don't feel hungry now, +that's the only trouble, thanks." + +The waiter was a kindly man, and he had seen a good deal of life during +nearly thirty years of service in clubs; consequently, he shook his head +mournfully as Jimmy went out. "Mr. Grierson's in trouble," he remarked +to the carver. "He looks fair broken up, as though he didn't care what +came next." + +The carver, who had no imagination, grunted. "Got the sack, I suppose," +he said, and began to dissect a chicken. + +The waiter shook his head again. "That doesn't make a man pay for food +he's not going to eat. It's a woman has played the fool with him. I +shouldn't be surprised if we don't see him here again. And he's a nice +gentleman, too, always polite to you and so on." + +Jimmy had an hour and a half to kill before going to Joseph Fenton's +hotel, and, ordinarily, he would have spent the time reading or writing +in the club; but already the place had become unbearable to him; +everything in it seemed to speak to him of Lalage, to remind him of her +and of that past which had suddenly become such a horrible memory. Why, +it was Lalage herself who had saved up the two guineas to pay his +subscription, only a couple of months ago. He went hot at the thought of +it, for it brought back the remembrance of so many other things she had +done for him. For a moment he hesitated. She was calling him back to her +side. "It was all for you, Jimmy, all for you." That part of it was +true, whatever else had been false; and she was alone in that gloomy +little hotel, eating her heart out, conscious that she had lost him. She +had betrayed his trust because she loved him so well, because she could +not bear to part with him--for a few seconds he understood that, and +felt he could forgive everything; but an instant later he was a Grierson +again. She had lied to him; she had been false to him in the greatest of +all things; and there could be no forgiveness. His people had found her +out, had proved to him what she really was, and he could not give them +up for her, knowing that she understood nothing of honour or truth. So, +instead of going to the hotel in the City, Jimmy went westwards, slowly, +listlessly, with no aim but to kill time. The Strand was thronged with +its night population, just as it had been on the first evening of his +return; but now he looked on everyone with suspicion, almost with +hatred. Any of these men might know his secret, might have heard of him +from Lalage and have laughed at him. There was madness in the thought, +and his eyes gleamed so suddenly that a policeman in plain clothes, +having noticed him, thought it well to follow him for a while; but the +fit passed almost as quickly as it had come on, and he became listless +again, shuffling his feet a little on the pavement, as though utterly +weary and disillusioned. + +The women caught his eye now, hard-faced, painted, weirdly-dressed, and +he began to wonder how they could possibly attract anyone, and to +compare them with Lalage. She had never looked like that, there had been +no sort of kinship between her and these creatures, and yet--she had +confessed that May's charges were true. + +His way to the hotel led him in the direction of the flat. At first, he +was inclined to avoid the little back street, for fear that he might be +recognised and pointed at; then the longing to have one more look +overcame the fear, and he turned up the road where the barrows were, +past the ham and beef shop, and came opposite the grimy mansion. It +seemed but natural to glance upwards at what had been Lalage's windows; +though it gave him a shock to see that, whilst the curtains had been +torn down, leaving a broken tape hanging forlornly, there was a light +in the rooms; then he noticed, for the first time, that there was a van +outside the front entrance. They were just finishing the task of +clearing out the flat. + +From the shelter of a big gateway opposite, Jimmy watched them bring +down Lalage's own chair and a wash hand stand which he himself had made +for her out of an old packing case in those early days before London had +taken the life out of him. Then, suddenly, the light upstairs was +extinguished, and a few minutes later a short, stout man in a seedy +frock coat and decrepit silk hat came down the steps, and ordered the +van to drive away. + +"That's the lot," he said. "Now get back to the shop quick. These things +may have to go out again to-morrow. Tell Mr. Gluck to have them polished +up first thing in the morning." Then he mopped his forehead with an +uncleanly bandana handkerchief, and made his way to a public-house lower +down the street. Jimmy followed him thither with no definite object, +save perhaps a kind of morbid curiosity. + +The publican greeted the furniture dealer with a friendly nod. "Clearing +another out, Mr. Ludwig?" + +The other grunted assent. "One of the soft sort. She ran away. It just +comes in right, as I have another customer for the goods, and there was +a lot paid on them. Pretty girl she was, too," and he gave a leer which +made Jimmy go red first and then very white, and leave hurriedly without +touching the whisky he had ordered. + +Joseph Fenton was waiting for his brother-in-law in the hall of his +hotel. Jimmy, scarcely knowing what sort of reception to expect, had +come in white-faced and hard-eyed, but the elder man's handshake eased +his mind at once. + +Fenton led the way into the smoking-room, selected a couple of chairs in +the further corner, then held out his cigar case. "Have a smoke?" he +said. + +Jimmy helped himself, and, for a minute or two, they smoked in silence; +then: + +"This is a bit of an upset, Jimmy," Joseph remarked; getting no reply +beyond a curt nod, he went on, "I'm not going to talk to you about the +moral side of it--I expect your sisters have done that, too much +perhaps--but what is this girl going to do now? You can't let her +starve." + +"Ida and May say she ought to," Jimmy answered grimly. The elder man +made a gesture of annoyance. "I know. Ida told me, and we disagreed." He +paused and stared at the smoke curling upwards from his cigar, as though +trying to find inspiration in it. He was always a little slow and +awkward in his speech, and now he seemed worse than ever; but at last he +went on: "Look here, Jimmy, I went through much the same sort of thing +myself, before I was engaged to your sister, so I understand. You see? +My people found out and sent me abroad; and I didn't hear of the girl +again until it was too late." He sighed heavily, and stared once more at +the cigar smoke. + +Jimmy looked up. "What had happened?" he asked. + +Joseph started. "She had drowned herself." He spoke very quietly, but +none the less Jimmy realised what the memory meant to this man whom he +had always thought a little dull and prosaic. "When I let them ship me +away--I was only a youngster at the time--I thought they would help her +to get a fresh start, but they didn't. It's spoilt my life, and that's +why I don't want yours spoilt. At least give her the chance to go +right." He drew a packet of bank-notes from his pocket. "Here's fifty to +go on with. Come to me when you want some more. Only, send her right +away, where you won't be tempted to go and see her. You must drop it +now. There can be no question of your marrying her; and there's only +misery in this free love, as you, yourself, have seen." + +Jimmy held out his hand gratefully. "It's awfully good of you, Joseph. +I was coming to you for a loan when I got your wire. She,"--somehow he +could not bring himself to mention Lalage's name,--"she is only too +anxious to get away from town, and this money will make it possible. I +suppose in time she'll get something to do; but there's been no time to +make plans yet." + +"Well, let me know when you want some more money. Write to the office, +not to the house. I only wish you had asked me before this happened. +I've been pretty successful, at least in business; but that's not +everything." He paused and then went on, in short, jerky sentences. +"Don't marry a saint, Jimmy. They're better to watch than to live with. +Your sister never forgives anything, and that's a big mistake. It makes +life hard sometimes. I suppose I'm getting a bit old, and I feel things. +The doctor says I must be careful." + +Jimmy glanced at him keenly; although his mind was full of his own +troubles, it had struck him that Joseph looked far from well. "Is there +anything special the matter?" he asked. + +Joseph nodded. "Heart," he answered briefly. "Well, I'm glad I've seen +you. Don't say anything about it to Ida. I think I'll go up now, I'm +feeling a little tired. Good night, Jimmy. Give her a chance to go +straight, and then try to forget her." + +It was the following afternoon, when Jimmy got back to the club after +having seen Lalage off at the station, that he found a note from May +awaiting him. + +"You will be shocked to hear," May wrote, "that Joseph was discovered +dead in bed this morning. The doctor says it was heart disease. I need +hardly say that Ida is terribly upset." + +Two or three days later, Jimmy learnt that his brother-in-law had left +him a thousand pounds. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII + + +Dr. Gregg pulled up his trap and hailed the man who was stalking along +on the other side of the road. + +"Are you going my way, Grierson? Can I give you a lift? Right. Whoa, +mare, stand still. It's some time since I saw you, Grierson. Been away?" + +Jimmy, who was already climbing into the dog-cart, did not answer until +the question was repeated, then, "Yes," he said rather unwillingly. +"I've been over to Paris for two or three days." + +The doctor drew his ragged-looking grey eyebrows down until they formed +almost a straight line. "The old game," he growled. + +The young man was staring away over the hedge at the sweep of country +beyond, and replied without looking round. "Yes, as you say, the old +game--the inevitable game, if you like that better. The only difference +being that it was liqueur brandy this time instead of whisky." + +"Silly fool." The doctor was not noted for his gentle speech. "Silly +fool, you know what I told you, that it means death in your case, with +perhaps a spell of lunacy first--that is, if you're not really a lunatic +already. You had better get some other medical man to attend you next +time." He slashed at an overhanging bough with his frayed old whip, and +apparently the action relieved him, for he went on in a very different +voice, "How's the book getting on? Is it published yet?" + +"It's coming out next week," Jimmy answered. "I got an advance copy +to-day. They've bound it and made it up rather nicely." + +The doctor nodded. "So they ought to. It's good stuff, but you would +never have written it at all if it hadn't been for me." The thought +seemed to bring back his grievances, for he went on querulously, "Why do +you always go to Paris or Brussels or some place like that? Can't you +find enough bad liquor and bad company in London, at far less cost?" + +Jimmy flushed. "Look here, Gregg," he began angrily, then broke off with +a bitter laugh. "I suppose I've no right to take offence at you, after +all. I never go to London, haven't been there for a year, I loathe the +place." + +"Bad memories, eh?" The doctor jerked the words out as he guided his +horse past a big dray. + +"Bad memories," Jimmy assented wearily. "The worst of bad memories." + +"That's the advantage of being a medical man." They had just passed the +dray and were coming to the outskirts of the little country town. "We +understand what it means, you see, and when a woman lets us down, we +don't make it worse, as you are doing. Oh, I know you didn't say +anything about a woman, but I know, too, that you meant one. It's a poor +compliment to her if she's any good, and if she isn't, why worry?" + +Jimmy did not answer, and the doctor changed the subject abruptly, as +was his way. "Did they tell you that Drylands, the big house close to +your cottage, was let at last? You'll have some society now. I hear +they're people who entertain a lot." + +"What is their name?" Jimmy demanded. + +"Something not unlike your own--Grimston, I think." + +Jimmy shrugged his shoulders. "Never heard of them, and, anyway, it +probably wouldn't affect me. The neighbourhood as a whole hasn't exactly +tumbled over itself in its anxiety to make my acquaintance." + +"That's your own fault," the doctor retorted. "You haven't given the +neighbourhood much encouragement to know you, although you would be +welcome enough. You're a surly brute in many ways, Grierson." + +"Thanks," Jimmy answered with a hard laugh. "At least you're outspoken. +And now this is my destination, the news agent's shop. I'll try to +follow your professional advice--for as long as I can." + +The doctor grunted something unintelligible and drove on. It was market +day, and there were several farmers he wanted to interview before the +excitement, or the local ale, or a combination of both, rendered their +ideas a little more vague than at ordinary times. + + * * * * * + +It was a year since Jimmy had taken the cottage a mile outside the +sleepy little town. He had gone there in the first place because it was +far removed from everyone and everything he knew, and in some ways the +experiment had proved a success. The deaf old woman who came in to do +his cooking and housework worried him little, and apparently did not +gossip about his actions or his habits; whilst the three rooms he had +furnished were more than sufficient for his needs. + +At first, on hearing of Joseph Fenton's legacy, he had thought of going +abroad again, of seeking oblivion of the past few months in travel and +excitement; but a chance remark of May's spoken at Joseph Fenton's +funeral, the only occasion on which he had met any of the Griersons +since the interview at Walter's office, had shown him that the family +would welcome his departure, that it even regarded voluntary exile as +the proper course for him to take under the circumstances, and, if only +for that reason, he determined to stay. Probably he would have stayed in +any case, for, though he had cut himself adrift from Lalage, had never +seen her since she left London, and heard from her but seldom--brief, +gentle little notes which invariably made him break his promise to +her--all the old wild jealousy remained. It was torture whilst he was in +England, but he felt it would mean madness if there were the ocean +between them. His love for her was dead, or at least he told himself so, +that part of love which comes from the joy of possession, which brings +with it peace and courage, and a good comrade in the never-ending +struggle against fate; but the other part, the fear and the hopelessness +and the fever, remained with him always. + +Once, and once only, he had had Lalage watched. He had lain awake night +after night until his jealousy had culminated in his sending down a +private detective. He had read the report--which was wholly in her +favour, even the church working party of the village in which she was +living being unable to rake up any charge against her--with an +unutterable sense of shame and self-contempt, and then had thrust it +hurriedly into the fire; but instead of bringing him peace it gave him +another memory to brood over, and at times to try and drown. + +Lalage's fears had only been too well founded. The locality was healthy +enough, the doctor had said with almost brutal frankness the first time +Jimmy had occasion to consult him; and then he had gone on to diagnose +his patient's case without mincing his words. + +"You don't show it outwardly, at least not to a layman, but any medical +man would see what was the matter with you. What makes you drink?" + +Jimmy had shrugged his shoulders, half-ashamed, half-irritated. "Habit, +I suppose," he had answered, whereupon the other had growled. + +"A confoundedly bad and stupid habit. The sooner you get some new ones +the better. You write, don't you? How do you expect to make a success of +it when you're sapping your brain power in this fool's way?" + +He had added a few more things, pointed and true, but none the less they +had parted good friends, and for a time Jimmy tried to fight his enemy, +remembering his promise to Lalage; but it was always the same in the +end. His black hour would come on him, and he would recall his great +treason, and tell himself bitterly that she had been the first to set +the example in the matter of broken faith. + +Whatever fears May might have had on the point--and the matter certainly +had worried her a good deal during the last twelve months--there had +never been any question of Jimmy going back to Lalage. True, he had +broken away from the Grierson tradition when he went to live at the +flat, had thrown that tradition to the winds, but still he had never +repudiated it openly, and in the end if he had not actually gone back to +his own people, at least he had recognised that the standards of his own +people were right. He was ashamed of himself, even more ashamed of +Lalage. He saw his conduct--and hers--in its true light, its stupidity, +and its immorality, and in the days following Joseph Fenton's death he +had reached the nadir of contrition and misery, and would have made +confession, and sought for absolution, had the family given him the +chance. He was in the mood for it, being run-down and broken-hearted. +But Joseph's death had altered the focus of things for the moment, +making Jimmy's affairs a secondary consideration, and after the reading +of the will, Joseph's legacy had effectually destroyed any hope of +peace, at least as far as Ida was concerned. Fenton had left, it is +true, nearly a hundred thousand to his wife, but the odd thousand to +Jimmy almost neutralised the generosity of his other bequests, at least +in Ida's sight, and Ida's personality dominated the whole family for the +time being. + +Curiously enough, no one knew of Jimmy's last meeting with Joseph. At +first Jimmy had held his peace about it, not wishing in any way to add +to Ida's troubles; then, when he found that his own misdeeds were +supposed to have preyed on his brother-in-law's mind and hastened his +death, he continued to keep silence, in a kind of savage contempt. He, +at least, knew what Joseph's feelings had been, and all his sympathy and +all his regrets were for the dead man, and not for the saint, who, after +the manner of her kind, had understood nothing and forgiven nothing. + +Yet, none the less, he would gladly have made peace with the family, +just as May and Walter would have made peace with him, had Ida's +bitterness not rendered that so hard as to be almost impossible. She was +too good a woman to overlook his sin, or to allow anyone else to +overlook it. She believed in the punishment of the sinner, not in his +pardon, and she did not think that Jimmy had suffered enough; possibly +she believed that he had not suffered at all, for had he not in the end +received a thousand pounds which should, by rights, have gone to her own +children? So, though he had repudiated Lalage to pacify his people, +and--it must be admitted also--to satisfy his own conscience, his only +reward had been a ghastly sense of isolation, both from his own world, +where the Grierson tradition rules, and from that other world into which +he had strayed for a few short never-to-be-forgotten months. + +Jimmy had turned a little grey during the last year, and the boyish +charm had gone out of his face. Alas! he had grown careless as regarded +his appearance, and he had ceased to trouble about a number of little +things on the observance of which Lalage had once insisted. He never +worried as to whether his boots were cleaned or no, and he only shaved +when he was going into the little town. After all, what did it matter? +He had no friends, and he wanted none; society, or at any rate women's +society, had ceased to be a factor in his life. + +On the other hand, success had come to him professionally, though it +meant very little to him, or very little compared with what it would +have meant in the London days, when half the income he was making now +would have seemed wealth. Joseph's legacy had allowed him breathing +space. He had quitted Fleet Street finally, abandoned all thought of +journalism, and gone in for the writing of short stories. Some quality +in the latter, possibly the cynical outlook on life which coloured them +all, caught the fancy of editors accustomed to the milk-and-water +optimism of the average writer, and in a few months his work was not +only selling, but was actually in demand. Moreover, he had written a +novel, and, his luck still holding good, had placed it with the second +publisher to whom he offered it; but even that success had given him no +sense of elation; and, when he had come to read the proofs, he had found +himself wishing that he had put the manuscript into the fire. It was not +the book he had dreamed of doing, the book he had so often discussed +with Lalage. The doctor, who had also seen the proofs, thought highly of +it; the publisher was urging him to get on with another; but he, +himself, knew well that the book lacked something. He had been afraid to +give it life by drawing on his own experience. He had been so anxious +not to widen the breach with his family that he had ended by writing a +novel for Griersons. As Jimmy walked homewards after his meeting with +the doctor, he found himself wondering what Lalage would think of his +novel, whether she would feel pride, or grief, or contempt. Somehow, +although she had no part in his life now, he was more afraid of her +judgment than of that of anyone else. "Lalage's author," she had called +him in the old days, and she had always believed in him. "I know you +will write nice books for Lalage, by and by; because you're very, very +clever"--she had said so more than once, when he had seemed to be losing +heart over his work in the _Record_ office. And now he had written the +book--in which Lalage had had no part. Unconsciously, he quickened his +pace, as if to get away from the thought, and, perhaps for that reason, +he did not notice a motor-car which was coming up behind him. When the +horn was sounded, he merely drew into the hedge and did not look round. +The car passed him, slowly on account of a flock of sheep which was +coming out of a gate a little way ahead, and he noted, without the +slightest sense of interest, that there were a couple of well-dressed +women in the tonneau; consequently, he was greatly surprised when one of +the women called to the driver to stop, then looked back, and beckoned +excitedly to himself. + +"Mr. Grierson, Mr. Grierson--Jimmy!" she cried. + +As he came up, she raised the heavy veil she was wearing, and he found +himself looking into the laughing eyes of Ethel Grimmer. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV + + +Mrs. Grimmer shook hands very cordially. "This is an unexpected +pleasure," she said. "Who would have dreamt of seeing you down here!" +then, without waiting for his explanation, she turned to her companion. +"Vera, you remember Mr. Grierson, don't you? May Marlow's brother. +Jimmy, I hope you haven't been so rude as to forget Miss Farlow. You met +her at our house, on that one visit you paid us, before you suddenly +went away and lost yourself." + +Jimmy flushed, and raised his hat again. He remembered the pretty, +rather prim-looking girl as the daughter of May's favourite rector, and +he remembered, too, Ethel's outspoken advice about his possible +matrimonial plans. + +Vera Farlow bowed, a little severely, but Ethel Grimmer gave neither of +the others the chance to speak. "I've often asked May how you were +getting on, but she always seemed vague as to where you were. She said +you were living in the country in cottages, so as to be able to work +quietly; but I never, never thought of finding you down here. Do you +live in a cottage now; or have you made so much money out of those +nice, wicked stories of yours that you've bought a big house?" + +Jimmy laughed. "No, I've still got a cottage, the only cottage I ever +had. It's about half a mile from here." + +"How jolly! Do jump in now and come along with us. Then you shall tell +us all about the place and its people. We've just taken a furnished +house--Drylands, I suppose you know it?--to see if we like the +neighbourhood. If we do, Billy wants to build a nice place for +ourselves. He's going to retire from business at the end of the year. I +tell him it's better, for he can afford to, and if he stays in the City, +he'll only get stodgy, and perhaps lose his money. And now do come up +and have some tea with us, unless you're very busy, which I can't +understand you being. Billy won't be down till Saturday, and I persuaded +Vera to come with me, so that I shouldn't be too dull." + +Jimmy went with them willingly, and, even if he had wished to raise an +objection, Ethel Grimmer would have given him no hearing. She was +obviously delighted at the meeting; and, in the end, Jimmy stayed, not +only to tea, but to dinner as well. + +"Never mind about dressing," Ethel said. "Vera and I won't change +anyway--you see we only got down this morning--and it's so nice to meet +someone one knows." + +It was the first time since he had left town that Jimmy had mixed +socially with his own world, and he watched anxiously for anything which +would show whether Ethel knew about Lalage; but before dinner was over +he realised, with a sense of relief, amounting almost to gratitude, that +May and Ida had kept the knowledge of the scandal to the circle of the +family. Ethel was not even curious as to his reasons for avoiding the +Marlow house; detesting May cordially, she found it quite natural that +Jimmy should prefer to go his own way. + +Vera Farlow thawed considerably before the evening was over. She was a +well-read girl, and at home it was but seldom that she met any men who +had interests outside their business or their sports. Jimmy was an +entirely new type to her, and yet, as she was well aware, he belonged to +a family whose standing was above question. Had a man of whom she knew +nothing talked as Jimmy talked, she would probably have regarded him +with a certain degree of suspicion; but there was no question of that in +the case of Mrs. Marlow's brother. Jimmy, on his part, was distinctly +attracted--Ethel saw that long before he got up to take a reluctant +farewell; and being entirely loyal to her own husband, she felt not the +slightest jealousy of Vera Farlow; in fact, as she went upstairs that +evening she was wondering whether it might not be possible to turn the +scheme, which she had once propounded more or less in a spirit of +banter, into an accomplished fact. It would be a good thing for Jimmy, a +good thing for Vera, and, perhaps most important of all, it would annoy +May Marlow and Mrs. Fenton intensely. Ethel went to bed to dream of a +gorgeous wedding, in which she played the part of fairy godmother; and +she awoke next morning more than ever determined to arrange the match. +Vera had money, Jimmy had brains, and they both belonged to families of +position. She felt she almost owed it to Jimmy to find him a wife, +whilst Vera was her dearest girl friend. Billy would help, she knew +that. Billy always did what she told him, and though he sometimes +spoiled things by laughing at the wrong time, for which she scolded him +duly and without mercy, she knew he meant to do his best. His impending +retirement had been one of her greatest triumphs. She was sick to death +of the circle of City people, of what she flippantly called "Square +milers," and that had been the main reason she had given to her husband +in urging him to give up business and go into the country. + +"Let's go amongst people who don't have to catch trains, Billy," she +had urged. "I'm sure you don't get half enough enjoyment out of life +now, going up to town every day," and Billy had finally given way, on +those grounds, never suspecting that at the back of her mind was always +the fear of his being drawn into speculation and coming to grief. He was +not very brilliant. Ethel knew that well, and she knew, too, what +measure of sympathy the City has for those who fail. + +The night he dined at Drylands, Jimmy barely thought of Lalage. He was +excited, and yet, at the same time, conscious of a feeling of +restfulness, somewhat akin to that he had experienced when he first saw +the shores of England on his return from South America. Once again, it +seemed as if he had been a long time in the wilderness, and was getting +back to his own people at last. Vera Farlow was of those who stand above +suspicion. It was impossible to picture her knowing anything about life +in a flat; and, whilst the memory of the past gave him a momentary sense +of shame, this was quickly put aside. It was all dead, done with; and, +if any women had a part in his future, they would be those like Vera +Farlow, women whom the Grierson family would accept and respect. + +When he turned in, Jimmy helped himself to one whisky, and one only, +instead of the usual three or four, or even more, which he took when a +fit of sleeplessness was on him. After all, old Dr. Gregg had been +right. He was playing a fool's game. He awoke in the morning feeling +much fresher than usual, and fully determined to call at Drylands on +some excuse or other. As a rule, he was not down till after the postman +had called; but on this occasion he met that worthy at the front door. + +"Fine morning, sir. Three for you to-day," the official said. + +Jimmy took the letters and glanced at the addresses. One he crumpled up +and tossed unopened into the waste paper basket, recognising the +envelope of a press-cutting bureau, which circularised him regularly +once a fortnight; but he looked at the others with a frown, for though +the first was from Kelly, whose letters were always welcome, the +remaining one had been addressed to his club in Lalage's unmistakable +handwriting. + +For a moment, Jimmy handled the letters with an air of hesitation; then, +as though he feared some shock, and wanted to brace himself up to meet +it, he went to the decanter and poured out some whisky, which he +swallowed neat; yet, even then, he opened Kelly's letter first. There +proved to be nothing special in it--congratulations on his book, some +caustic comments on Fleet Street and its ways, and the always-repeated +invitation to come to town, and stay with Kelly and his wife. + +"My wife says she feels sure you must be in love with someone down +there, otherwise you could never stand the dulness of the country after +town; but I always say that your fate is to marry into a solid City +family, now that you have missed going to the other extreme." + +Jimmy frowned as he read the last sentence. He had never given Kelly a +hint, and no one else could have told him. Possibly, it was the thought +of that which worried him, and made him turn to the decanter again; at +any rate, he had another whisky before he opened Lalage's letter. It had +been very different in the early days of their acquaintance; then, he +had torn the envelopes open eagerly, and almost learnt the contents by +heart before he thought of his other correspondence. + +Jimmy had never given Lalage his address. All her letters went to the +club, whilst those he wrote to her he sent on under cover to one of the +waiters, who posted them in town. He, himself, never understood his own +reasons for this caution. It was not because he feared her blackmailing +him--even in his most bitter moments he had never thought of that; and +he knew her too well to be afraid she might pay him a visit unasked in +the hope of recapturing his affection; but probably it was due to some +vague feeling that it kept them further apart in spirit, helped to +preserve the barrier between them. Not that she had ever attempted to +break that barrier down. On the other hand, she seemed to have accepted +his decision as right, or at any rate as unalterable, and at times that +was the most horrible part of all to him, for it suggested the +possibility of someone succeeding him in her love, and, as she had long +since declined to take any more money from him, he had no right to +control her. + +Lalage wrote from a little Yorkshire town, nearly two hundred miles +distant from Jimmy. "You know I told you I had a post as nurse-companion +to an old invalid lady. I am very grieved to say she died about three +weeks ago. She was the sweetest, best woman I ever met; she took me +without references, because she said she liked my face; and I really +believe her greatest sorrow at dying was due to the thought that she +could leave me nothing. All she had was a small annuity. Yet, in another +way, I was fortunate; for almost at once I got a situation in a draper's +shop, the only drapers here. It is not very much to boast of, I know; +but still I am making my own living honestly, and it is the sort of +place where one can stay all one's life. I am looking at the papers +every day to see if your book is out. I do wish you the best of success +with it, Jimmy," and then, without any conventional phrase before it, +came the simple signature, "Lalage." + +Jimmy did not touch his breakfast that morning. Instead, he sat very +still, staring out of the window, trying to picture Lalage--who had once +been his Lalage--serving behind the counter in a stuffy little draper's +shop. "The sort of place where you can stay all your life." Would she, +could she, stand the idea of such a future? Would she go on alone +always, whilst he would be getting on in the world, climbing the ladder +to such fame as novelists get in these days of many novels, getting back +into his own world, and possibly----? + +There was a knock at the front door, and as if in confirmation of his +thought, he found the Grimmer chauffeur standing on the step. + +"Note for you, sir," he said. + +Jimmy tore it open. "Vera and I are going for a run round the country," +Ethel wrote. "Will you come with us?" + +Jimmy turned round to the hat rack and took down his cap and overcoat. + +"Have you brought the car down for me?" he asked. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV + + +Mr. Grimmer looked up with a grin. "I don't know what the old joker will +say if you bring your scheme to a head," he remarked. + +Ethel, who was standing in front of the fireplace, smoking daintily, +tried hard to look shocked. + +"My dear Billy," she drawled. "That is hardly the way to speak of an +Honorary Canon who expects to become a bishop, if his father-in-law +lives long enough to get into another Cabinet. Then, for one thing, +Jimmy won't propose for some time yet, not until Vera has been away and +come back again; and when they are engaged what can the old joker, as +you call him, do to me?" + +"He might preach about you," her husband suggested. + +Ethel shrugged her shoulders. "I shouldn't be there to hear him; it +would make May Marlow blush and send that hateful Ida Fenton white with +passion. By the way, did I tell you that Ida had taken a house in town? +They think she's going to be married again, to that horrid, clean-shaven +man with the damp hands, who's always collecting for some mission or +other. You must know him, Billy. Surely you do; we used to call him the +Additional Curate. Well, to go back to Jimmy. He wouldn't give Vera up, +and her money is under her own control." + +"He had to give you up," Grimmer said. + +His wife laughed. "He never had me to give up, really. Besides, I hardly +knew you then, Billy, so it didn't count, did it?... Billy, you must not +behave in that ridiculous way; you have crushed my flowers, and the gong +will go in a moment." + +It was a fortnight since Jimmy had met Ethel Grimmer again, and during +that time he had not written a line. Every day, and often twice a day, +he had been up at Drylands, at first, because Ethel had insisted on his +attendance; and latterly, because it seemed the natural thing to do. His +original feeling had been one of sincere relief at the break in the +monotony of his exile, and he had been equally glad to see both Vera and +Ethel; but after a while Ethel seemed to become almost uninteresting by +comparison with the younger woman. He was not passionately in love, as +he had been with Lalage. The thought of Vera gave him no sleepless +nights. In fact, now he slept far better than he had done for many +months past. He had a sense of restfulness to which he had long been a +stranger, as though he had taken some mental opiate to soothe the pain +of remembrance. London, and the flat, and the grinding drudgery of Fleet +Street, the miserable little creditors worrying at the door--all these +seemed now to belong to some former existence, to be part of the life of +a different Jimmy Grierson. Vera knew nothing of such things; and, in +her society, he himself managed to forget them. + +Lalage's letter was still unanswered. Day after day he meant to write; +but, somehow, there was never time. He wanted to think it over +carefully, he kept on telling himself, and then deliberately turned his +mind to something else. + +He had smartened himself up considerably so far as appearance went. +True, once or twice, it gave him a twinge of remorse when he found that +he was doing again the very things on which Lalage had insisted with +gentle patience in those now-distant days, observing little conventions +which he had dropped during his sojourn abroad, and had lately dropped +anew. Then, too, he was drinking far less. He did not need the spirit +now to bring him oblivion, and he did want to keep his hand steady and +his eye clear. Vera had once spoken very strongly on the subject of +intemperance, which she knew only in theory; and Jimmy had listened to +her words with respectful contrition. She would never forgive a man who +drank, she said, and he had gone a little cold at the thought. Yet, +forgetting that Lalage had known of his failing, and had tried to help +him fight his demon, he told himself that Vera's was the right view for +a girl of her position. She was too good and pure to come into contact +with the ugly things of life. + +Already, he had made up his mind to ask her to marry him, later on, when +she came back from a promised visit of indefinite duration. There was no +hurry, Ethel had told him so frankly, no other suitor being in the +running. At first, the thought of the past troubled him a little, in the +abstract, as a kind of treason to Vera; but, after a while, he put that +thought aside. She need never know, and Lalage had gone out of his life +now. + +His book had been published a week, and the one or two reviews which had +appeared had been satisfactory, almost flattering, though one reviewer +apparently voiced the general opinion when he said, "Mr. Grierson seems +anxious to uphold the conventions of modern society, and yet he writes +of them without conviction, as though he would like to believe in them, +and could not manage to do so." + +Vera had frowned over the notice. "What rubbish, Mr. Grierson. It is as +much as to say that you would write one of the nasty kind of book, if +you dared. I think yours is very, very good and perfectly sincere." +Whereupon Jimmy had gone home well pleased, feeling that, at last, he +was receiving absolution, if not from his own family, at least from his +own people. + +When Vera went back to town, Ethel deputed Jimmy to see her off at the +station, alleging that she herself had a headache. + +"It's only _au revoir_," Jimmy said, as he shook hands at the railway +carriage door. + +Miss Farlow smiled brightly. "That's all. I am coming down again very +soon. Father is going away for a couple of months' holiday; and, as he +is taking my younger sister, Florence, Ethel has made me promise to come +down here. She is awfully good-hearted, isn't she?" + +Jimmy nodded emphatically. "She is indeed. One of the best I know." + +As the train steamed out of the station, he stood a full minute deep in +thought, staring at it until it disappeared round a slight curve; then +he turned to find the doctor watching him with a grim smile. + +"Hullo, Grierson," the old man said. "I've hardly seen you lately, only +caught glimpses of you whizzing past in a motor, surrounded by +millinery." Then he scanned the other's face critically. "You're +looking better. Found the cure for it, eh? I always thought that both +the reason and the remedy would prove to wear skirts." + +Jimmy flushed awkwardly. He did not altogether admire Dr. Gregg's +frankness; and yet he was grateful for the implied testimony to his +reformation, so he answered with a laugh, and, after a few minutes' +conversation, willingly consented to go up to dinner at the doctor's +that night. After all, it would be dull alone in the cottage, and he +knew that Ethel would not want him, as she, too, was dining out. + +The doctor was an old bachelor, or at least the town assumed him to be +one. True, when he had first bought the practice, thirty years +previously, he had made no definite statement on the matter; and, for a +time, people had shaken their heads, and, on that purely negative +evidence, had done what they called "drawing their own conclusions." His +wife had run away from him, and they would hear of her one day, in +connection with some scandal, and she would allege, and probably prove, +that he had ill-used her. However, as months went by, and they did not +hear--in fact they never heard anything--they admitted they had been +wrong, and began to pity him as the husband of an incurable lunatic, who +was confined in an asylum near London. But even that story had died a +lingering death from sheer want of nourishment, and long before Jimmy +had appeared in the neighbourhood, even the mothers' meetings had ceased +to discuss the doctor's private affairs. He was just the gruff and +well-beloved friend of everyone in the place, a man of whom even the +preacher in the Peculiar People's chapel spoke with respect. + +"Old friends of yours at Drylands, after all?" the doctor asked +abruptly, as they sat smoking in his study after dinner. + +Jimmy nodded. "Yes, you got the name wrong, you see, and, naturally, I +didn't recognise it. I've known the Grimmers, or at least Mrs. Grimmer, +all my life." + +"It's a bad thing to get out of touch with people you know," the other +went on. "A very bad thing. Never have a family quarrel, if you can +avoid it, Grierson, or, rather, never have another." + +"How do you know I have had one?" Jimmy demanded. + +The old man smiled. "You've as good as told me so, a score of times. Bad +things family quarrels. After all, your relations are your own flesh and +blood." + +Jimmy did not answer; latterly, he had begun to realise the truth of +what the other was saying; and he knew more than ever the value of +peace. + +For a little while they smoked in silence, then, "How did you happen to +light on this town in the first instance?" the doctor asked. + +"I hardly know myself," Jimmy answered. "I wanted some quiet place, and +someone--I have never been able to remember who it was--had once +mentioned it to me as the ideal spot. The name had stuck in my memory, +so I came down here on chance and liked it from the first. I must say, +though, I've found it dull at times." + +"No place is dull when you know it well enough," the old man retorted. +"Yes, I mean it. You, as a writer, ought to understand that. It's only +dull if you make it so for yourself by being out of sympathy with its +people.... How's the book getting on?" + +"Pretty well, I believe. The publishers say they're quite satisfied with +it for a first novel. One doesn't expect to make a big splash at the +start." + +"Some never make a splash at all, even though they do good work. I knew +one." The doctor shook his head sadly. "He lived in this town, only a +few doors from here. He used to write scientific books, and was admitted +to be the best man in England on his own subject; yet he got more and +more hard up all the time. I don't know what he and his daughter really +did live on for the last year or two. It ended in something very like a +tragedy. Ah, it was a bad business, a terrible business," and he sighed +heavily. + +Jimmy's lips seemed suddenly to have become dry and hard; but his voice +was almost normal as he asked, "What was it, doctor?" + +The old man began to fill a pipe with rather exaggerated care. "It was +the daughter," he answered, without looking up. "She was a sweet girl, +the best, most unselfish girl I ever knew; but curiously young in many +ways, dangerously young--you understand? She had been brought up alone +with him--no woman to tell her things. That's bad. Confound it all, +sir,"--he raised his voice in a sudden explosion of wrath,--"parents +have no right to keep their girls in ignorance. It's criminal +negligence; at least it was in this case. They were desperately poor, +and he was dying; wanted all sorts of things." He paused again and made +a show of lighting his pipe, but the match burnt out ineffectually, then +he went on. "They hadn't a shilling, and none of the tradesmen would +trust them. And a man, a young scoundrel belonging to this very town, +offered her ten pounds to go away with him for a couple of days, showed +her the gold.... What was that?" he demanded quickly as Jimmy's pipe +stem snapped suddenly in his hands. + +Jimmy himself had shifted slightly, so that the lamplight did not fall +on his face; but the old man was not looking at him as he resumed his +story. + +"She said she was going to town, to beg his publishers for money, and +he, luckily, died believing it. But someone else had seen her; and the +women hunted her out. She fled to London, no money, no friends, and you +can guess what must have happened. Poor child!" + +"What happened to the man?" Jimmy asked in a voice which made the doctor +give a grim little nod of approval as he answered: + +"I felt that way myself. He abandoned her like a skunk, and his people +threw the blame on her for tempting him. Tempting him! He had a motor +smash soon after, and I tried my utmost to pull him through, because he +would have been a hideously disfigured cripple; but he died, and I never +regretted a patient more." + +Jimmy got up abruptly. He knew now who it was who had mentioned that +town to him, and unconsciously sent him to live there. He had not the +slightest doubt in his own mind what the answer would be when he asked: + +"What was their name?" + +"Penrose," the doctor answered. "She was Lalage Penrose." + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI + + +Jimmy's mind was in a fever as he walked home that night; in fact, he +felt it would be useless to try to sleep, so he went on, past the +cottage, past Drylands, where the lights were all out, right to the next +village, three miles away. But whilst he stalked along he gradually grew +calmer. Things seemed to become simpler, more easy to bear, and to +understand. He saw Lalage now in a different light, and he felt that, as +her character was partially cleared, so, in some subtle way, his own sin +became less, and he need no longer have any compunction about asking +Vera Farlow to be his wife. + +True, for one wild moment, his old love for Lalage seemed to surge up +within him; but he was passing Drylands on his way back at the time, +and, as he glanced at the windows, the Grierson strain in him asserted +itself triumphantly. He might pity and forgive Lalage; but his wife must +be one whom he could take anywhere, introduce anywhere; there must be no +horrible fear of the past coming to light again, and, possibly ruining, +not only his own career, but that of his children as well. He thought +of Lalage tenderly, but almost with condescension; and, when he turned +in finally, Vera Farlow--who belonged to the Grierson world--was +uppermost in his mind. Consequently, he slept well and awoke, not to +brood over what Dr. Gregg had told him, but to speculate on a future in +which Vera should play the main part. + +Vera had money of her own, Jimmy knew that, and, unquestionably, the +fact weighed with him, not from a sordid point of view, but because it +made the risks of marriage so much smaller. There would be no fear of +his wife being left penniless, dependent on the charity of relatives. As +for his own prospects, he was inclined to take a rosy view of them. He +had made a good start, and that, as he was well aware, was more than +half the battle. Another year, and he ought to be earning enough to +justify him in marrying. + +It would be very pleasant to have his own house, a permanent home. Vera +had plenty of friends, and he knew that there were many others who would +be glad enough to meet the rising author. They would soon have a +position, especially if, as seemed probable, Canon Farlow did get the +first vacant bishopric. + +Jimmy had not much fear as to what Vera's answer would be. They had got +to know one another very well in that fortnight at Drylands, and much +of her almost prim reserve had already disappeared. She was twenty-five, +or thereabouts, quite old enough to know her own mind, and it was not +likely that her father, having three other unmarried daughters on his +hands, would offer any serious objection. May, too, would probably be +pleased when she came to look at the matter in the right light, because, +as he told himself with a cynical little smile, it would prove that the +Lalage episode was definitely at an end. And then, for a moment, he +thought of Lalage again, the Lalage of whom the doctor had told him, +young, almost childish in her inexperience, sacrificing her innocence +for the sake of her dying father. Suddenly he got up, feeling half +choked. If only that man had not died after the motor smash, if only he +had lived to suffer. + +He walked up and down the little room several times, trying to regain +his self-control, trying to put Lalage out of his mind, and to think +only of Vera. But it was impossible. Phrases the doctor had used seemed +to be engraved on his memory. Almost against his will, he found himself +repeating them, and with them came a mental picture of Lalage's pitiful +shame and grief when the real meaning of what she had done came home to +her. And then the horror of it, the crowning tragedy of it all--her +father had died in the end, and she had been driven to the streets of +London. + +He had thought he had forgotten, and now he found he remembered +everything. He could see her with the mud squelching through her shoes, +friendless, penniless, homeless, without either references or +experience, tramping hour after hour in the rain, standing outside the +shop window where the big kitchen stoves were on exhibition, trying to +imagine that some of the heat from the fires was reaching her numbed +body; and then someone spoke to her--oh, it was all too hideous. + +He had intended putting in a hard day's work, starting a new novel, but +there could be no question of that now. He picked up the morning paper +and tried to read that, but, somehow, the pages seemed to be one huge +blurr, and, when the letters did come into line, they always formed the +word "Lalage." At last, in sheer desperation, he took his hat, shut up +the cottage, and went into the town. In the smoking-room of the +principal hotel, he met several men he knew slightly. As a rule, he +would merely have nodded to them, but now the old craving for +companionship was on him again, and he greeted them cordially, whilst, +instead of the one drink he had intended to take, he had so many that he +lost count. When, at last, he did come out, he was still sober so far +as external appearance went; and yet perhaps because the sunlight was +bright whilst the smoking-room had been dark, he failed to notice a +carriage containing a couple of ladies whom he had met at Drylands. They +bowed to him, and then, when he did not raise his hat, exchanged meaning +glances. + +The elder, Mrs. Richards, wife of a local magnate, put their thoughts +into words. "We caught sight of him going in there two hours ago, and +now he cannot see us. I had heard a rumour that there was that especial +failing, but I had hoped it wasn't true. Now, however----" She was a +kindly-natured woman, and she broke off with a sigh. + +Her companion nodded. "I wonder if that nice Miss Farlow knows. Mrs. +Grimmer hinted that an engagement was quite possible, and I think +someone ought to warn the girl. It would be a dreadful thing if she +found out too late." + +Jimmy's outbreak was, however, of very short duration. Even as he walked +back to the cottage Vera's influence, or rather, the thought of all that +marriage with Vera would mean, reasserted itself, and the memory of +Lalage began to grow dim again. After all, what was the good of making +himself miserable about the dead past? It could not be changed, and so +the best thing to do was to try and forget it, as far as possible. It +was but a very poor compliment to Vera if, only the day after her +departure, his mind was full of another woman. + +He might pity Lalage, but he was not going to let the remembrance of her +ruin his future. He had a prospect now of regaining what he had lost +when he first met her, and he would be a fool to imperil that prospect +by mere foolish sentiment. Moreover, he would leave that wretched whisky +alone; it was a weak and idiotic habit to drink as he had been drinking, +and the knowledge of it would shock Vera terribly. Men in her world, +which was, after all, his own world too, did not do those things. He saw +it now. Before the Grimmers came down it had been different. For a time, +he had lost all ambition, all sense of self-respect; but contact with +Ethel and Vera had changed all that, had brought out the dormant +Grierson instincts, the passion for order and respectability, and the +comforts of life, and he had grown to detest the old mode of existence. + +One thing was certain; before he proposed to Vera he must break off all +correspondence with Lalage. He told himself so, several times, and tried +to think out the letter he would write. He would send her a cheque for a +fair amount, so that she would have a reserve fund, and then--he would +never hear of her again, never know if she were alive or dead, if she +had enough food, or even if she were married. Suddenly, that same queer, +choking sensation came back, and he got up quickly as if wanting air. He +seemed to hear Lalage's cry on that most ghastly day of his life: "I did +it all for you, Jimmy. I did it all for you." + +And so, in the end, he compromised with his conscience, and wrote her a +briefer letter than usual. Possibly, he might have been surprised had he +known that Lalage cried herself to sleep over that same letter, though +next day, and for many days after, until she heard again, she carried it +in her dress through the long hours of drudgery in the little shop, and +slept with it under her pillow at night. Jimmy's hand had touched that +precious slip of paper. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII + + +Jimmy's engagement to Vera Farlow was an accomplished fact. + +"You have got to thank me for it all, Jimmy," Ethel said, when he came +to her for congratulations. "You would certainly never have done it +alone. In fact, once or twice lately I have been afraid that my +suggestions and advice were going to be wasted after all. Yet, I don't +quite know what to think of you, even now." She put her head on one side +and surveyed him critically. + +"What do you mean?" he asked, smiling. + +Ethel laughed. "I've known you to make love more ardently. Oh, yes. I +have a very good memory. Still, I won't tell Vera. And now I'm going to +write to your sister May and gloat over her. Of course I shall gloat, +because I suggested getting you married off when we first heard you were +coming home, and May got furious with me. Will you write too?" + +Jimmy shook his head. "No, yours will do, at least for a start. I've got +to write to Canon Farlow. Vera says he won't be home from Switzerland +for another week. Otherwise, I would have gone to see him." + +"He's rather an old stick, if I may say that of your beloved's father," +Ethel went on. "You will find that out, and his sermons are very long, +so don't live in his parish if you can help it. You'll have plenty of +church in any case, you poor Jimmy." + +"Why 'poor Jimmy,' when you've just been congratulating me?" + +Ethel gave an impatient little sigh. "I don't know, I'm sure. Now I've +done it I'm wondering if I was right. It's a big responsibility, and you +may both end by hating me ever after. Promise me you won't, Jimmy, do +promise that." Her voice had grown unusually earnest, and her eyes were +suspiciously bright. + +"Of course I promise, Ethel," he said gravely. "But I don't think there +is much fear of my feeling anything except gratitude." + +But Mrs. Grimmer was not satisfied. "I wish I had left it alone. I don't +know how it is, but you're not the old Jimmy any longer, and I can't +understand you. You're not half as happy as you ought to be under the +circumstances. Now, are you?" + +He protested vigorously against the idea, and yet he left her so +entirely unconvinced that, instead of going to Vera, she sought out her +husband and had a good cry on his shoulder. + +"I ought not to have done it, Billy," she sobbed. "If anything goes +wrong when it's too late, Jimmy will take it to heart so terribly. I +wish I wasn't responsible, but I am, and I can't deny it." + +Billy tried to comfort her. "My dear, they seem happy enough over it. I +know Vera is very grateful to you." + +Ethel shrugged her shoulders. "Vera! Oh, she would be happy, because she +doesn't feel very deeply. She never did about anything. It was always +the same with her when she was a child. But Jimmy is different. He's not +in love." + +"Then why did he propose?" Billy retorted. "Was it her money?" + +"No, no," Ethel repudiated the idea emphatically. "Jimmy is not that +sort. I think he proposed because he's been very miserable over +something, and Vera took his thoughts off his other troubles. But he +won't be happy." + +There was no mistaking the conviction in her voice, and, for a moment, +even her husband was moved out of his usual good-humoured complacency; +but he soon recovered and tried to laugh away her fears, without, +however, achieving much success. She was not in a mood to be reassured, +although she contrived to put on a smiling face when she met the newly +engaged pair at dinner. + +Vera was a little inclined to blush, but obviously happy. Jimmy, on the +other hand, was by turns silent, almost moody, and then feverishly +talkative. Vera seemed to notice nothing amiss--possibly she put it down +to natural excitement--but Ethel watched him with anxiety, which she +tried hard to conceal. As she said, the whole thing was her doing. She +had engineered it carefully, and she was, at least in matters like +these, a clever woman. True, once or twice, she felt a slight misgiving, +but she had made up her mind to succeed, and had brushed her fears +aside. Only when Jimmy came with the news that her scheme had become an +accomplished fact did she realise that match-making is a dangerous +occupation. He neither looked nor spoke like a lover who had just been +accepted, but rather like a man who sees the crisis of his life a little +way ahead of him, and is fearful of his own capacity to pass through it. + +Vera was quite satisfied with Jimmy's farewell kiss. Had there been +passion in it she might have been frightened; but, as it was, the caress +he gave her seemed very sweet. She was very proud of this lover of hers, +of his undoubted cleverness, his good looks, and his powers of +conversation. It would be very pleasant to see his name on all the +bookstalls, to know that almost every other girl of her acquaintance +would envy her the possession of her author. So far, she had hardly +thought of marriage and its responsibilities; all that part seemed a +long way off, in the distant future, and, for the moment, she thought +only of the engagement. But as Jimmy walked home in the moonlight, Vera +Farlow was hardly in his mind at all; he was thinking of other kisses he +had given and received, and, try as he would, he could not drive out a +horrible feeling that, every time his lips touched Vera's, he was being +unfaithful to Lalage. It was absurd, wholly ridiculous, he told himself +so savagely; but still a sense of shame and ingratitude remained. +Lalage, who had suffered so much, and, as he realised now, had suffered, +too, for him, was in that shop, the sort of place where one could spend +one's whole life, and he was going to marry Vera Farlow, and cut the +last slender link between himself and the girl he had once loved, was +going to make her a last present, of money, and ask her not to write +again. + +Jimmy let himself into the cottage, fully determined to go through with +the task there and then, to write the letter almost before he had time +to think, and to post it immediately. Yet dawn found him still sitting +at his desk with a pile of cigarette ends and an empty decanter on the +tray, and a blank sheet of paper in front of him. At last, he got up +with a sigh, extinguished the lamp, and stumbled wearily to bed. It was +not that the spirit had affected him--he felt he would have given +anything to have it do so--but he was utterly exhausted mentally, and, +the moment he lay down, he went into a heavy, dreamless sleep, which +lasted until ten o'clock. + +When Jimmy awakened in the morning the first thing he remembered was +that he had promised to meet Vera at eleven. He would have no time for +breakfast, but that did not trouble him, as he would have eaten nothing +in any case. His meal, however, was not the only matter which would have +to be left over. He would only have just sufficient time to shave and +dress and walk up to Drylands; consequently, as he told himself with an +undeniable sense of relief, his letter to Lalage must be put off until +the evening, if not until the following day. + +Vera did not seem to notice anything unusual in his appearance, or, if +she did, she made no remark on it; but when they met Ethel a little +later, that lady scanned his face anxiously, and took the first +opportunity of calling him aside. + +"You didn't sleep, Jimmy. You're worrying about something," she said, +bluntly. + +Jimmy made a rather unsuccessful attempt to laugh. "I'm taking on +responsibilities," he said. "I realise it now, and the letter to Canon +Farlow is still unwritten, although I must do it before the afternoon +post goes out. Vera had better help me, I think. Did you write to May?" + +"Last night, after you had gone," Ethel answered. "It went by the +nine-thirty this morning, so May will know before she goes to bed +to-night." Then she went back to the subject of himself. "What is it you +are worrying about, Jimmy? Is it anything that I can help you with?" + +He shook his head. "There's no trouble, really there isn't. What can +there be? Vera and I both know our own minds, and in another year's time +I ought to be making a decent income. You will be able to point us out +proudly as a couple whose happiness you secured." + +He tried to speak lightly, but he did not convince her in the least; +though she put on a smile when Vera came out again. + +"Jimmy hasn't written to your father yet, Vera," she said. "You had +better take him into the library now, and make him do it at once, or +else he'll keep on putting it off. I know his ways of old. He lacks all +his family's instinct for business-like promptitude. Now, his brother +Walter probably had all such letters ready, or at least drafted out, +before he proposed. Jimmy has none of the Grierson ways, as May will +doubtless tell you." + +Vera frowned slightly. Sometimes Ethel's flippant speech jarred on her a +little. Family matters are treated as serious things in the household of +a canon who has relatives possessing influence; moreover, it was by no +means pleasant to be told that Jimmy was different from the Griersons. +It was almost an implied slur on his respectability. However, before she +had time to make any protest, Ethel had moved off, and Jimmy changed the +current of her thoughts by suggesting that the letter to Canon Farlow +had better be written at once, and she led the way into the library, +well pleased at the idea. + +Possibly because the letter to Lalage would be so terribly difficult to +compose, Jimmy found that to his future father-in-law comparatively +easy. There was not much feeling in it perhaps--even Vera, who read it +with partial eyes, could not help noting the fact--but, after all, it +was in a sense a matter of business; and so she was able to find +consolation in its clear, incisive phrasing. She was glad when it was +finished, more glad still when they had strolled down to the pillar box +outside the gates, and dropped the envelope in it. Their relations were +on a definite footing now, and she had little doubt that her father +would be well pleased. Of course, Jimmy was still a poor man; he had +been perfectly frank on that point; but still he was making a name, and, +as he said, he would now have a still stronger incentive to work. +Altogether, she was quite satisfied with her prospects, and convinced +that she had done a wise thing in saying "Yes." Perhaps, somewhere at +the back of her mind, there was sense of disappointment, a feeling that +both she and her lover were wanting in enthusiasm; but, if she did +experience anything of the sort, she crushed it down resolutely, knowing +well that passion is closely allied to wickedness, if it is not even a +form of wickedness. She had been taught from childhood that sentiment is +of necessity either sinful or ridiculous, and that the basis of a +successful marriage--which was her people's phrase for a happy +marriage--is equality of position, combined with business instincts on +the part of the man. People in her world lived to get on; it was a +sacred duty with them; failure to do so was discreditable, almost +criminal, as she had often heard her mother say when engaged in district +visiting amongst the homes of the improvident poor. Jimmy would get on, +she fully believed that, especially when he had a sensible wife to help +him; moreover, he was both good looking and sweet natured; consequently, +she told herself that he was all she could have wished for. It had +never occurred to her that he might have a past, because neither the +Griersons, nor the Farlows, nor anyone in their world, ever had such +things. They seemed to live in a monotonous present of negative virtue, +wholly safe and solid. So she had asked him no questions, and he had +volunteered no confessions. + +The day passed all too quickly for Jimmy, too quickly, not because he +was revelling in the society of his fiancee, but because each hour +brought him nearer the moment when he must write that final letter to +Lalage. He stayed later than usual, so late that Ethel had a hard task +to hide her yawns; but when, at last, he did go back to the cottage, he +made no attempt to carry out what had now become the most hateful task +of his life. + +"It will do in the morning," he muttered as he turned out the lamp. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII + + +May looked up from Ethel's letter with a little cry of indignation. +"Jimmy is engaged to Vera Farlow, Henry! Did you ever hear of such a +thing! It seems the Grimmers have been staying quite close to Jimmy's +cottage, and Ethel had Vera down on purpose--at least I'm sure she did. +I had no idea they had met Jimmy. He never mentioned it in his last +letter, nor did Ethel when I met her in town." + +Henry Marlow had put down the evening paper and was staring at his wife +solemnly. He scented trouble, possibly unpleasantness, and he was by no +means sure what course he would be expected to take. Had they been alone +it would have been different; but Ida was staying with them, and though +Marlow admired his sister-in-law greatly in the abstract, or at any rate +in a photograph, he was unaffectedly afraid of her, even in his own +house. So he said nothing when May read out Mrs. Grimmer's letter, only +shook his head twice, very gravely, and waited for Mrs. Fenton to speak. + +Ida held out her hand in silence for the letter, which she read through +carefully, then, "It has been a deliberate plot on Ethel Grimmer's +part," she said. "She has gone out of her way to do it. I know she has +got fast and vulgar lately, smoking cigarettes and talking slang; but I +did not think she would do an immoral thing like this." + +Henry, who really had a sneaking admiration for Mrs. Grimmer, went +rather red. "Oh, I say, Ida, that's going a little too far, isn't it?" +he began, but his sister-in-law exchanged a meaning glance with May, and +then cut him short. + +"I beg your pardon, Henry. Have you forgotten Jimmy's conduct in town? +He is hardly the fit husband for an innocent young girl like Vera +Farlow; and, moreover, is he in a position to marry? He has no settled +income, and his only capital was the thousand pounds which Joseph was +foolish enough to leave him. I expect, too, that he has squandered that +already." + +Henry got up abruptly. He had heard that legacy discussed until he +loathed the very mention of it; and now he had no intention of listening +whilst the whole matter was threshed out anew. + +"Well, I'll leave you to talk it over whilst I go and have a smoke," he +said. + +But his wife caught his sleeve. "Dear, you've had a cigar already this +evening, and you might stay and advise us now. We must make up our minds +what we are going to do." + +Rather sulkily, Henry turned back, and went over to the fireplace, +where he leaned against the mantelpiece, and began to fidget with his +watch chain. + +"I don't see what there is for you to do," he said. "It's an affair for +Miss Farlow and Jimmy to settle between them. Your brother has sown his +wild oats now, and he'll be steady enough." + +May shook her head sadly. "I know you're very kind to him, dear, kinder +than he deserves; but we must not let our feelings stand in the way of +our duty. What do you say, Ida?" + +Mrs. Fenton nodded. "We know that besides the affair of that creature in +town, Jimmy used to drink too much. Probably, he does still. We don't +want to have a scandal, and perhaps to have his wife and children +penniless on our hands." + +Somehow, that night Henry Marlow's temper was not quite under control, +and his voice was distinctly sharp as he retorted, "Miss Farlow has +money of her own, at least two hundred a year, settled on her, so they +wouldn't starve. What is it you propose to do?" + +"Tell Canon Farlow the truth, of course," Ida answered with asperity; +"then he can judge for himself. It will relieve us of responsibility in +the matter. It is the only thing we can do." + +Marlow frowned. "It's not my idea of what is right. You know Jimmy left +this girl long ago. Why can't you forget it, and give him a chance to +start again?" He addressed himself almost pointedly to his wife; but May +shook her head. + +"One can't forget in that way, Henry," she replied, gently; "at least +not in this case. It wouldn't be fair to Vera, knowing what we do about +Jimmy's instincts. No; Ida is right. We must certainly tell Canon +Farlow." + +"But he's left the girl," Henry persisted; he had always liked Jimmy, +even if he had never understood him or been greatly interested in him; +moreover, the whole idea of writing to the prospective father-in-law was +repugnant to his ideas of fairness. + +"How do you know he has really left her?" Ida asked coldly. "He has +deceived us before and may be deceiving us again. The only address he +has given us is his club, and this letter from Ethel is the first +intimation we have had as to where he was living. She may be there, +too." + +Mr. Marlow laughed scornfully. "And under Ethel Grimmer's eyes? Hardly, +Ida. And, according to the character you give her, she is not likely to +allow him to get engaged to someone else. When did you hear of her +last?" + +"Never, after she fled that night." It was May who answered. "I wish we +had been able to follow her up." + +"Why?" Henry demanded. "I think you got pretty well revenged as it was." + +Ida picked up her needlework again, rather ostentatiously. She had never +seen her brother-in-law in this combative mood before, and it made her a +little uneasy; but she was not going to let him see that fact, so she +answered even more coldly than before: + +"There was no question of revenge, Henry. Really, the suggestion is a +little coarse, if May will forgive my saying so. Why we wished to find +her was for this reason. Gilbert"--she coloured rather becomingly as she +pronounced the name--Gilbert was Mr. Fugnell, Ethel's "Additional +Curate," to whom she had recently become engaged--"Gilbert is greatly +interested in a home for these people, where they do laundry work, and +so on, and he was very anxious to save her. He said they had several +vacancies, and they had been forced to refuse work for want of hands. +That, if you want to know, is why we were anxious to discover where she +had gone. It was entirely for her own good." + +Marlow did not answer. He was a keen business man himself, and he liked +clear balance sheets, even from a charitable institution, but Mr. +Fugnell's charities issued no accounts at all. Moreover, of late a +certain weekly paper had been displaying a great deal of interest in +this very Home of which Ida was speaking, and only that day, coming down +in the train, Henry had been wondering whether he ought not to mention +the matter to Ida; but now he realised that his very advocacy of Jimmy's +claim to be left alone had practically rendered it impossible for him to +warn his sister-in-law. He would be doing the same thing he had +condemned in her. So he held his peace, and, by a kind of tacit consent, +the whole matter was dropped for the time being. + +When Ida had gone up to bed, however, Marlow broached the question again +to his wife. "Don't you really think you had better leave Jimmy to +settle his own affairs, dear?" he said. "Just think how we should have +felt if anyone had come between us when we were engaged. I know it would +have sent me wrong altogether." + +For a moment, May wavered; then she laid her hand on his arm very +tenderly. "You mustn't say that, Henry. I know you would never have done +anything you shouldn't do; and then, you see, you had no past to be +afraid of, which makes all the difference. No, I think Canon Farlow must +be told, so that he can investigate matters and judge for himself. Think +if there were a scandal after they were married, this other woman +making a fuss at the house, and perhaps causing them to separate. It +would ruin our position, too, and we must think of the children, even +though we were ready to take the risks ourselves. Really, sweetheart, +I'm right. Jimmy has only himself to blame." + +Her husband sighed, then bent down and kissed her. "Well, I leave it to +you, May. He is your brother, not mine. But if this sends him wrong +again, you mustn't blame him too much. He will be very bitter with you +and Ida." + +May's face grew hard again. "We cannot help it if he is. None of us +would agree to have the Grierson name dragged in the mud again." + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX + + +The news of Jimmy's engagement spread rapidly. Dr. Gregg heard it within +twenty-four hours, and mentioned it the same evening to Mrs. Richards, +the lady whose bow Jimmy had failed to acknowledge when he was coming +out of the hotel. + +Mrs. Richards shook her head over the tidings. "I cannot say I am +pleased to hear it, Doctor. Mr. Grierson can be very nice, and I am told +he is very clever; but still I am sorry for Miss Farlow. He has an +unfortunate failing." + +"Do you mean he drinks?" the doctor asked bluntly. + +The lady nodded. "I, myself, have seen him under the influence of +liquor, before mid-day; and my maid tells me it's a common subject of +conversation amongst the lower classes in the town. I understand a great +many writers have the same weakness," she added, grimly. + +Dr. Gregg snorted. "Nonsense, madam. When Grierson is married he will be +as steady as your own sons. I know him very well, and have a great +respect for him. The girl ought to be proud. He is going to make a big +name for himself; whilst as for the lower classes in this town, and the +upper classes as well, for that matter, their chief object in life seems +to be to make up and spread lying tales." + +"Dr. Gregg, was more brusque than ever to-day," Mrs. Richards remarked +to her husband an hour later. "Really, he is such a bear that if one +could trust Dr. Hart I would have him instead. It's not nice to be +stormed at and practically called a scandalmonger, especially when I +know that what I was saying is true." + +Her husband took her complaints lightly, remembering that only a year +before that same bear of a doctor had snatched their youngest child out +of the grip of death, and knowing well that, so long as the old man +remained in practice, his wife would take his word before that of the +most famous specialist in London. "What was the trouble with Gregg this +time, Kate?" he asked, smiling. + +"It was over Miss Farlow's engagement," she answered. "I was saying that +I'm sorry for the girl, because I'm sure young Grierson drinks; and the +doctor got rude about it at once." + +"Perhaps you were not very wise, because Grierson is a friend of his, as +well as a patient; but still, I am afraid what you said was true. I +don't know the man personally; but Bateman and Knowles and one or two +men who do know him say the same. I hear he's been better lately, +though, since the Grimmers took Drylands. Perhaps he was lonely, or +something like that. He knew very few people then, and it must have been +horribly dull for him." + +"I don't see that there is any excuse in that." Mrs. Richards' voice was +unusually severe. "He could have known people if he liked. Mr. Button, +the vicar, called on him; but he's never been to church once in over a +year, at least he never went until Miss Farlow came on the scene." + +Her husband smiled. "Perhaps she's converted him," he suggested. + +But Mrs. Richards was in earnest. "Conversions of that sort never last," +she went on. "He will be just as bad again after marriage, when the +novelty has worn off. I am sure I would never allow a man of that sort +to marry one of our daughters." + +Mr. Richards smiled again. "You might mislead a stranger by that +statement, Kate, seeing that they are both married already." + +Then the dinner gong sounded, and he straightway forgot all about the +matter; but his wife could not get it out of her mind. Her dearest girl +friend had married a man who had turned out to be an incurable +drunkard, and the tragedy of those two ruined lives came back to her +vividly, so vividly in fact that she determined to call at Drylands on +the following day, nominally to offer her congratulations to Vera +Farlow, really to see if she could not whisper a word of warning into +Mrs. Grimmer's ear. + +"Mrs. Grimmer is not at home," the servant said, in answer to her +inquiry. + +Mrs. Richards began to open her card case, then, acting on a sudden +resolution, she looked up again and asked, "Is Miss Farlow in?" + +"Yes, madam," the maid answered. + +Mrs. Richards closed her card case with a snap, and followed the maid +into the drawing-room. + +Vera looked so happy that for a moment the visitor hesitated, then the +very innocence and gentleness of the girl strengthened her resolution, +clinched it, and she saw her path of duty more clearly than ever. +Deliberately, she sought for an opening. + +"Have you known Mr. Grierson long?" she asked. + +"Not very long, really," Vera answered. "I met him first nearly two +years ago, at dinner. But after that, I did not see him again until I +came down here with the Grimmers. Still, he's a very old friend of +Ethel's--Mrs. Grimmer, I mean--and his people are parishioners of my +father's." + +"Does he often go down to see his people?" Mrs. Richards asked, a new +suspicion breaking on her mind. + +Vera shook her head. "He's been so busy, you see; and it's a long way; +in fact, I don't think he has been there for over a year." + +Mrs. Richards' last doubt had disappeared now. So Jimmy's people knew of +his failing and would not receive him in their homes. Evidently, it was +time that someone interfered to save this girl. + +"It is sometimes a great risk marrying a very clever man. They are not +always too steady." + +Vera, who was rather bored with her visitor, was staring out of the +window, wondering where Jimmy was, but now she looked round sharply, a +glint of anger in her eyes. + +"I am not afraid of that in Mr. Grierson's case," she answered coldly. +"Perhaps he is one of the exceptions, that is, if the rule itself is not +one of those silly ideas people get hold of and insist on believing in +for no reason at all, except perhaps because they're jealous." + +Mrs. Richards coloured slightly, but she did not take offence. Rather, +her heart went out in sympathy to this girl whose loyalty was likely to +be so ill repaid. + +"My dear," she said very gently, "I came intending to warn you, because +I was afraid no one else would have the courage to tell you. No, don't +jump up. Let me finish. I am afraid, in fact, I am sure, that Mr. +Grierson has that very failing we referred to. It is a matter of common +knowledge here; and, though he may keep steady whilst you are about, I +am sorry to say that the very first day after you went away last time, I +myself saw him the worse for liquor." + +Vera's first impulse was to do something theatrical, to ring for the +servants to turn this abominable woman out, to rush out herself and find +Jimmy and implore him to avenge the insult; but something in Mrs. +Richards' manner checked her, and in the end she listened in silence, +sitting very still with her hand in her lap. + +When the other had done, she made one attempt at disbelief. "It's not +true, it's not true," she murmured, then she went on, "Oh, say it isn't +true. Do say so. Why did you come and tell me when I was so happy?" + +There were tears in Mrs. Richards' eyes as she answered. "My dear, it's +better to know now than when it's too late, when your life is ruined. If +you want confirmation you had better make other inquiries. Ask Mr. +Grierson himself. He cannot deny it." + +To Vera's own astonishment, she let the visitor kiss her before they +parted; in fact, she returned the kiss; and yet, when looking back on it +afterwards, it seemed quite natural, for no one could have doubted the +honesty of Mrs. Richards' purpose, even if they had doubted her +statements. But Vera doubted neither. She knew the accusation was true; +and when on Jimmy coming in a few moments later and finding her red-eyed +and white-faced, she taxed him with it, he recognised the futility of +denial, though he pleaded extenuating circumstances. + +"I was miserable and lonely, and until I met you everything seemed to +have gone to pieces. It will never happen again, darling, really it +won't. You know that, don't you? surely you know it." He was fighting, +not only for her love, but for his whole future, his position in +society, the respect of his own class. If he lost her, he felt he would +lose everything else which a Grierson holds dear. He would never have +the heart to make another try. + +"I don't know," she sighed at last. "I had such faith in you, and this +has been such an awful shock. Oh, Jimmy, Jimmy, I could never have +believed it." + +Even in his misery, it struck him that she had believed it, very +readily, and a hint of anger came into his bearing. After all, his +promise of reformation, or rather the fact that he had already reformed, +should have some weight with her. But she was judging him by the past, +in which she had had no part. Still, he spoke gently, pleadingly. + +"Vera, dear, you must forgive me. It will never happen again now that I +have you to look after me. You will keep me straight." + +But he struck the wrong chord, and she looked up almost indignantly. +"You ought to be manly enough to keep straight by yourself, you ought +never to have sunk as you have done. There can be no excuse for it, none +whatever." + +"And no forgiveness?" he asked very quietly. She covered her face with +her hands again. "Oh, I don't know, I don't know. Everything seems so +dreadful, and I shall be afraid to trust you. Go away now, and let me +think it over quietly." + +"Very well. I will come back after dinner. Meet me down by the +summer-house." There was something masterful in his tone, and for a +moment she felt inclined to obey; then her sense of injury came to her +aid, and she shook her head. + +"No, to-morrow morning at the earliest. I cannot decide so quickly." + +Jimmy took his hat off the table. "Good-bye, then. I will come +to-morrow morning." And he left the room without another word. As the +door closed behind him, Vera stood up, straightened her hair in front of +the glass on the mantelpiece, dabbed the tears out of her eyes with her +handkerchief, and then went upstairs, holding her head rather erect, but +otherwise showing no sign of emotion. + +Jimmy filled his pipe whilst he went down the front steps, and as he +rammed the tobacco into the bowl he noticed, with a cynical little +smile, that his hand was perfectly steady. In his heart he did not +believe that the quarrel would prove final, that she would break off the +engagement on the grounds of his past failings. It was just a passing +cloud, he told himself. Both of them would have been more upset had +their love affair come to a sudden and abrupt close. He remembered how +he had felt when he had parted from Lalage, the fever and the agony of +it, the sense of utter desolation and hopelessness. And from that he +came to think of Lalage herself. She had never turned on him because he +drank. Far otherwise. The knowledge had made her more tender, more +watchful over his comfort, more anxious to shield him from worries which +might drive him into the power of his enemy. She had never blamed him, +even by implication. And why? He knew the answer only too well. Because +she had loved him. Now the fever, which the parting from Vera had failed +to arouse, came on him again. His pipe went out, and, unconsciously, he +quickened his steps, as was his way when deeply stirred. + +Lalage loved him. Lalage loved him too well to turn on him. The words +drummed through his brain with maddening persistency; and then, as a +corollary to them, came the questions, "Did Vera love him well enough to +take the risk, to give him a chance to run straight? Was he always to be +the Black Sheep, and herd with others of his kind?" + + + + +CHAPTER XXX + + +It was only a couple of hours after Jimmy had left Vera that the +chauffeur from Drylands brought him a note in Mrs. Grimmer's sprawling +handwriting. + +"It will be all right," Ethel wrote. "Vera has agreed to take the +sensible view, and let you show outward and visible signs of reformation +during your engagement. So you must be very good, and, if you can, even +pious. Come up to lunch to-morrow with a jaunty air as though nothing +had happened." + +Jimmy heaved a sigh of relief as he folded up the note and thrust it +into his pocket. So the crisis was safely over, after all. Straightway +he began to make excuses for Vera, her youth, her inexperience, the +atmosphere in which she had been reared; yet he could not help +remembering that Lalage was younger, by a year at least, and that her +chances of gaining experience at home had been far smaller, and still +Lalage had understood him and tried to help him, whilst Vera was only +taking him as an offender on probation. + +The latter was not pleasant thought, especially as the final letter to +Lalage remained unwritten. He had intended to do it that night, had +really made up his mind to do it; but now this scene with Vera seemed to +have shaken his nerves, and he felt he could stand no more strain until +he had had a good sleep. There was really no immediate hurry for a day +or two. Both his letters to Lalage and her letters to him were so brief +and so few in number that no one could object to the correspondence. So, +in the end, he went to bed, moderately satisfied with his own prospects, +having written nothing at all. + +Jimmy got up in the morning with a certain sense of relief in his mind. +He was rather glad now that Vera did know something of his past +failings; it was better for her to understand, and to forgive, than for +him to live with the fear of exposure ever in his thoughts. Their little +quarrel, if quarrel it could be called, would serve a useful purpose in +clearing the air; and now there would be no more trouble. He would soon +reassure her by giving positive proofs of reformation. Moreover, he +could write to Lalage that night, after making, his peace with Vera. + +The morning postman brought nothing more interesting than a receipted +laundry bill, which Jimmy tossed angrily on to the desk. He had been +expecting a letter of congratulation from May, in fact, he had looked +to receive it twenty-four hours previously, and its non-arrival worried +him a little. He had been hoping that the news of his engagement would +have led to a treaty of peace with his family, being, as it was, +significant of his surrender to the Grierson ideals. Surely May would +see that he had sown his wild oats, and was ready, eager even, to marry +into a respectable family and live respectably. + +His breakfast finished, Jimmy glanced through his newspapers, at the +same time keeping a look-out for the second postman; but when the latter +did come down the road he hurried by without even glancing at the +cottage. Obviously, he had nothing to deliver. Jimmy got up abruptly, a +frown on his face. They might have written to him, and have offered +their congratulations. He had given in to their ideas completely now; +his engagement was in itself tacit recognition of the code of the +Griersons, and he could not understand why the family should still +harbour bitterness against him. Surely he had suffered enough for his +revolt. But May and Ida and Walter had always been the same, obstinate, +self-satisfied, regarding everything he did as necessarily wrong. In the +world of men who thought, Jimmy knew that he, himself, was quickly +gaining a position, and that his wife would also have a position, +through him; but his family gauged position by the standard of the +pass-book, the only book it considered of any permanent importance. The +successful business man was respectable by virtue of his success; it +made little difference whether he had grown rich as a banker, a +merchant, or a member of a County Council committee; but the man who +lived by his brains it regarded with suspicion, as one who made an +income without possessing capital. + +Jimmy was in a bitter mood. The little matter of the delayed letter had +brought out that alien streak in him again, and once more he saw the +Griersons as he had seen them in the early days of his return, +unsympathetic, prejudiced, almost smug. He had been striving hard to win +their approval. He had given up Lalage; he had written only things of +which they could approve; he had become engaged to a girl essentially of +their world, and now---- + +A sharp knock on the door brought him to his feet, and he opened the +latch to find the ragged little girl, who generally acted as telegraph +boy, holding out a yellow envelope. "Any answer, sir?" she chanted. + +Jimmy read the message through. It was from Canon Farlow, and had been +despatched at the London terminus. "Meet me on the station at +twelve-thirty. Most important," it said. + +Jimmy crushed the paper up, and thrust it into his pocket. "No answer, +thanks," he said, then he glanced at the clock. He had an hour and a +half still to wait. For a moment he thought of going up to Drylands +first, to see if Vera too had heard, but he put the idea aside +immediately after. Already, he had scented trouble. There must be +something very serious to have brought the Canon back from Switzerland +in such a hurry, and he preferred to see it through alone, to keep Vera +out of it, if possible. + +He was on the station platform a little early, in fact, he had time for +several drinks in the refreshment-room before the train came in; then, +rather to his surprise, he found the Drylands' chauffeur also waiting at +the barrier. + +The Canon, a portly man, clean shaven, and obviously prosperous, emerged +from a first-class carriage with a bag in one hand and a rug on the +other arm. Perhaps for that reason, he did not offer to shake hands with +Jimmy; but even when the chauffeur had hurried forward for his things, +he had made no attempt to remedy the omission. + +"Good morning, Mr. Grierson," he said. "I am glad to see you received +my telegram. Yes, Jones," to the chauffeur, "put those in the motor-car, +and kindly wait for me. I shall be going up shortly. And please put the +hood up, if possible. + +"Now, Mr. Grierson, is there anywhere we can talk. I have a few +questions of a rather serious nature, of a distinctly serious nature, I +might say, to ask you." + +Jimmy, now fully convinced that his theory of trouble ahead was right, +pulled himself together to meet it. The Canon's manner had already +aroused his antagonism, and he was in no mood to submit tamely. + +"We can talk in there, if you like," he answered, nodding towards the +refreshment-room. "I see the waiting-rooms are occupied." + +The Canon frowned, thinking he detected a hint of flippancy in the +younger man's manner. "I said it was a serious matter," he replied, +severely, "and a public bar is hardly the place for discussion, hardly +the place I should be likely to visit in any case." He glanced along the +platform, which was already deserted. "I think we will walk up that +direction, if you please." + +Jimmy, now thoroughly nettled, took out his case and lighted a cigarette +with rather ostentatious coolness, waiting for the other to begin. + +At last when they got to the open end of the platform, Canon Farlow +cleared his voice with a little cough which he had often found most +effective on solemn occasions. "I understand from your letter that you +have proposed marriage to my daughter, Vera." + +Jimmy corrected him quietly. "I am engaged to Miss Farlow. I am sorry if +I didn't make that quite clear to you." + +If men in his position did such things, the Canon would have snorted; as +it was, however, he remembered his dignity in time. "Pardon me, Mr. +Grierson, my daughter knows better than to accept a proposal of marriage +from any man without my permission. Anything she may have said was +provisional, simply provisional, until I, myself, had made inquiries. I +regret to say now that what I have learnt about you is greatly to your +discredit, terribly so. I have had a letter from your sister, Mrs. +Fenton." + +Jimmy was pale already, and he went, if possible, a shade paler, with +anger; but he spoke very calmly. "Yes, and what does Ida say about me? +Something pleasant, surely." + +Hitherto the Canon had spoken more in sorrow than in wrath, but now he +began to lose his temper; he was not accustomed to being treated +lightly. "Something most unpleasant on the other hand," he snapped. +"Something which, if true, as I believe it to be, renders you totally +unfit to associate with an innocent young girl like my daughter. Mrs. +Fenton informs me that a little while ago you were living a most +scandalous life in London." + +Jimmy knew that his case was hopeless. He had been betrayed, and had +already been judged, unheard. Still, he made one last attempt at +defence. "It was over a year ago, and I have never seen her since. I +have run straight enough since the time I left London; and I know I +should be true to your daughter." + +"You admit it is correct, then?" The canon gave the sigh he reserved for +the convicted sinner. "And where is this woman now?" + +The colour came back to Jimmy's face, suddenly. "That I shall not tell +you, or anybody else," he answered curtly. + +"Do you still keep up a correspondence with her?" + +Jimmy realised that the question was the fatal one. For a moment he +thought of explaining, of going into details as to how he was going to +break the last slender tie, of pleading all the extenuating +circumstances, of appealing for a chance to prove his reformation; then +he glanced at his companion, and knew there was no mercy in his face. +"Yes, I still correspond with her," he replied quietly. + +The Canon's wrath blazed out. "And yet you dare propose marriage to my +daughter. You are a debased profligate, sir, absolutely unfit for any +respectable people to know. You, you----" he spluttered a little, "you +are a positive danger to society. The idea of keeping up communication +with a vile creature like that, and expecting to marry my daughter." He +was snorting in earnest now. + +Jimmy's eyes had grown dangerously bright. "I allow no one to call my +friends vile creatures, not even a man who is supposed to be a preacher +of charity and good will. Whatever Miss Penrose has been in the past, +she has led a perfectly good life since we parted, and I respect her as +much as I respect any other woman living." He spoke proudly, defiantly, +looking the cleric full in the face. + +For a moment Canon Farlow was speechless, then he attempted to take +refuge in scorn. "If you are really so foolish as to believe that those +creatures ever reform----" he began. + +But Jimmy cut him short sternly. "You have said more than enough +already. Good morning." He turned on his heel and went a couple of +steps, then something struck him and he faced round again. "May I +venture one suggestion? Next time you preach you might take as your +text, 'He amongst you who is without sin, let him throw the first +stone,'" and he stalked down the platform, leaving the canon bereft of +even a trace of his well-known pulpit manner. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI + + +Jimmy did not attempt to go back to the cottage. Instead, he walked very +slowly up the street towards the hotel, the door of which he was just +entering when the Grimmer motor-car dashed past with the Canon sitting +very erect in the tonneau. As a matter of fact, that grave personage had +eventually entered the refreshment-room, feeling he needed something to +steady his nerves after such a trying interview. True, the brandy did +restore him a little, but the memory of Jimmy's words remained. He never +forgot them, and, as his wrath subsided, they began to affect him in +another way, making him ask himself whether, after all, he had read some +of his Master's words aright. As time went by, the matter troubled him +more and more--it is always a serious thing when a man past middle age, +and a dignitary of the Church at that, begins to think--and when, a year +later, Vera became engaged to the son of one of his own church-wardens, +a young City man of exemplary life and undoubted wealth, he was +conscious of a distinct sense of disappointment. He would have liked a +son-in-law who would have understood his new point of view. He married +them himself, in the blatantly new church with the sprawling texts round +the chancel arch; and the world, his world, congratulated him. But on +the following Sunday he preached a sermon which shocked his congregation +beyond measure, and really cost him that bishopric; for he took Jimmy's +suggested text, and argued, with an eloquent fire, quite alien to his +nature, that if the Master was ready to forgive, His followers must do +the same. + +Ida voiced the opinion of a good part of the congregation, when she +said, on the way home after the service, "Poor Canon Farlow! It is too +terrible. The excitement of the wedding must have unhinged his mind." + +But her new husband, Mr. Tugnell, himself a candidate for orders, the +owner of the living having promised that he should succeed the canon, +expressed the more general view, when he said sharply, "Nonsense, my +dear, the man had been drinking. Anyone could see that." + +And Ida agreed, as she did to everything Mr. Tugnell said. Even when he +had suggested that she should settle half of Joseph Fenton's hard-earned +money on himself she had consented, knowing that he was a +philanthropist, and therefore would use it well. + +May Farlow, on the other hand, grieved honestly for the canon, and +still retained sittings in the parish church, though she usually took +the children to the chapel-of-ease, "where is an old friend of ours," +she said, "and I'm not going to turn my back on him. There are always +two sides to a question after all, and I want to hear both. Perhaps +we've been wrong in some things, Ida. At any rate, now that my children +are growing up, I want more than ever to be right, so that I can guide +them, and prevent them from making mistakes. Sometimes I think we were +too severe in the past." + + * * * * * + +Jimmy hardly noticed the canon passing him. His mind was too full of +other things. Vera was lost to him, he knew that, and, somehow, the fact +troubled him little. With her, also, he had lost all present chance of +going back to the Grierson world, of becoming a true and complete +Grierson again, and curiously enough, that troubled him equally little. +He had ceased to have the slightest desire for such a thing. A black +sheep himself, he preferred to herd with his kind. + +His first feeling had been one of bitter wrath against his sisters. They +had betrayed him; they had thrust him back again when he was trying to +pull himself up; they were keeping him down, keeping him at a distance +for fear he should damage their position. And then his anger seemed to +pass away, and he laughed, first at them, then at himself. What did he +care about position, what did he care about Vera Farlow, what did he +care about anything--except Lalage? + +He knew it now. He knew why his engagement had made him so utterly +miserable, knew why he had been unable to write that final letter to +Lalage. There was only one place in the world he wanted to be--where +Lalage was; only one object in life for him--to make Lalage happy, and +by so doing wipe out all memory of his intended unfaithfulness to her. + +But would she have him back now, would she forgive his coldness and his +neglect, above all his repudiation of her in the London days? Did she +still love him, as he knew she had done once, love him enough to forgive +and forget, love him as he loved her? The thought drove everything else +out of his mind. Vera, her father, his sisters, all seemed to belong to +some distant past with which he now had no connection. His bitterness +against Ida and May, his anger against the canon, his first feeling of +grief, or rather of wounded pride, when he learnt that Vera was lost to +him--these were as nothing compared to the fear that Lalage would refuse +him. He was like a man who had awakened from a long sleep full of +dreams to find that, whilst he had slumbered, a deadly peril had come +down on him, a peril which could be averted only by immediate action. + +Jimmy had ordered a drink, more or less mechanically, as a tribute +levied by the house; but he pushed it away untasted. + +"I'm going to be absolutely sober when I do this," he muttered, then +went back into the hall, where he spent five minutes poring over a +timetable, following the trains down the lines of figures with a finger +which trembled slightly. Every hour seemed of supreme importance now. +Had he not been in dreamland for over a year? At last he found his +trains. He had three hours to wait in the town, two hours in London; but +he would finally arrive in the little Yorkshire town about half-past +seven in the morning, before Lalage had started work in that hateful +little shop. + +There was no need for him to write the trains down. Their times of +departure were already graven on his memory; all he had to do now was +cross the road to the post-office and wire to Lalage. He was cool again, +a perfectly normal man. All his anger and his excitement had gone; but, +none the less, he did not hesitate a moment over taking what might be, +what he hoped would be, an irrevocable step. + +An hour later, the kindly, grey-bearded old draper beckoned Lalage into +his private office. "There's a wire for you, Miss Penrose," he said. + +Lalage opened the envelope with trembling fingers--only one person in +the world would wire to her--then she swayed a little and gripped the +table for support, as she read, "Meet me at the station half-past seven +to-morrow morning. Jimmy." + +The draper was watching her anxiously. "No bad news, I hope," he said. + +She looked at him with a smile which reassured him instantly. "No, it's +good news, the best of good news," she answered. + +When she had gone out the old man shook his head sadly. His own wife had +died thirty years before, and he had passed nearly half of his life in +waiting for the meeting on the other side; so he knew what that smile +meant. Only a man, and the right man, can bring it to a woman's lips. + +When Jimmy left the post-office he went straight back to the cottage. +The fear of meeting any of the Drylands people did not worry him in the +least. They all belonged to the dream, even Ethel, and now he had got +back to the reality. Yet, when he opened the door and found a note from +Mrs. Grimmer lying on the floor, he did not feel a twinge of uneasiness, +dreading reproaches from her, as his hostess. + +But Ethel wrote kindly. "Don't take it to heart too much, dear old boy. +It was a nasty trick for Ida to play you, although just what I should +have expected from her or May. As for the canon, I am afraid I have +offended him mortally by sticking up for you. Vera is hopelessly weak. I +was never more disappointed in anyone in my life. Still, after all, it +was a mistake, and you would have never been happy. Take comfort from +that, and don't do anything rash." + +Jimmy read it through a second time, then tore it up. Ethel was a good +sort, but if he did what he hoped to do, she would probably say he had +disregarded her advice and acted rashly. So she, too, had better become +part of the dream and be forgotten, which is the proper fate of dreams +and dream-people. + +It did not take him long to pack his bag and shut up the cottage; +consequently, he had plenty of time to catch his train; but on this +occasion he did not go into the refreshment-room. He needed no stimulant +to keep him going now. If she refused to hear him it might be different; +but until he saw her he was going to touch nothing. He would speak +deliberately, in cold blood. + +For a moment, when he came out of the terminus, London affected him as +it had done on the night of his home-coming; but the feeling passed +immediately, and the town became simply one stage on his journey to +Lalage. Moreover, as he drove across to the other terminus, he felt none +of that sickness at heart which he had dreaded so greatly, which had +made him avoid the place as a plague spot. All the old memories seemed +to have lost their bitterness. The women in the streets had not the +slightest kinship with Lalage. His jealousy of the past had vanished, +the hateful thoughts which had once gone nigh to driving him mad had +lost all their power, and now the only thing in his mind was the fear +that the new Lalage, which was the real Lalage, would not risk joining +her life to his again. + +As the train came into the station he saw her standing there, tall, very +pale, and, as he thought, looking even more beautiful than ever in her +plain black dress. She was the only person on the platform, just as he +was the only passenger to alight; but, seeing the look in her eyes, it +would have been the same had there been a crowd. + +"Lalage," he said, and took her in his arms. + +When she disengaged herself, blushing, for the ticket collector had just +come out, she scanned his face eagerly, and then the colour left her +cheek again. + +"Jimmy, oh, Jimmy, dear, you look so ill. Hasn't anyone taken care of +you all these months?" + +He laughed happily, knowing now that everything was well. "I will tell +you all about it by and by." Then he stopped, regardless of the +indignant glances of the ticket collector, who was thinking of his +cooling breakfast. "Shall I send my bag to the hotel, or shall I leave +it here?" + +She understood his meaning. "Send it to the hotel," she answered in a +low voice. + +Nothing more was said until they were clear of the station yard, then, +"Where can we go and have a quiet talk?" he asked. + +For answer she led him into a little public park near by. It was +deserted at that hour, and he got the chance to speak at once. + +"Lalage," he said in a tone she hardly recognised, "I've broken my +promise to you. I've been ruining my health with liquor, trying to +forget you; and I've been engaged to another woman. I know you're +infinitely too good for me in every way; but I've come to ask you to +marry me, not in the distant future, but now, at once, as soon as I can +get a licence." + +She stood very still, and, for a few seconds, he feared he had come too +late, then she spoke haltingly. "Jimmy, I'm afraid ... after the past +... that you wouldn't trust me. And that would be even worse than this." + +He took her hand. "Lalage, dearest, there's no question of that now, +there can be no question of it when we're married. You say no one has +taken care of me. Won't you do it, sweetheart, and save me from myself?" + +She looked at him with shining eyes. "You haven't said yet why you want +to marry me, Jimmy." + +Once more he took her in his arms unresisting. "Because I love you, +dearest, because you're everything in this wide world to me, because I +honour you and trust you above all women, and because life would not be +worth living unless I had you as my wife." + +THE END + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's People of Position, by Stanley Portal Hyatt + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PEOPLE OF POSITION *** + +***** This file should be named 29274.txt or 29274.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/9/2/7/29274/ + +Produced by Peter Vachuska, Julia Miller, Martin Pettit +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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