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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/29458-h.zip b/29458-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..4060f39 --- /dev/null +++ b/29458-h.zip diff --git a/29458-h/29458-h.htm b/29458-h/29458-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5409f32 --- /dev/null +++ b/29458-h/29458-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1295 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of Cost of Living, by Robert Sheckley + </title> + <style type="text/css"> + + p {margin-top: .75em; text-align: justify; margin-bottom: .75em;} + h1 {text-align: left; margin: 0 0 0 2em;} + hr {width: 45%; margin: 1em auto; clear: both; visibility: hidden;} + body {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + img {border: none;} + a:link,a:visited {text-decoration: none;} + p.cap:first-letter {float: left; margin-right: .05em; padding-top: .05em; font-size: 300%; line-height: .8em; width: auto;} + .dcap {text-transform: uppercase;} + .bk1 {background: url("images/001.png") top left no-repeat; width: 650px; height: 460px; margin: 0 auto; overflow: hidden;} + .bk2 {padding-top: 140px; padding-right: 320px;} + .bk2 p {line-height: 1.5; margin: 1.5em 0;} + .bk3 {margin: 0 auto 2em; width: 650px;} + .figt {float: left; clear: left; margin: 15px; padding: 0; width: 146px;} + .trn {border: solid 1px; margin: 3em 15%; min-height: 230px;} + .trn p {margin: 15px;} + .ml2 {margin-left: 1.5em;} + .ml4 {margin-left: 3em;} + .rgt,.bk3,h2 {text-align: right;} + + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Cost of Living, by Robert Sheckley + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Cost of Living + +Author: Robert Sheckley + +Illustrator: Ed Emshwiller + +Release Date: July 19, 2009 [EBook #29458] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK COST OF LIVING *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class="bk1"><div class="bk2"><h1>Cost<br /> +of<br /> +Living</h1> + +<p><b><i>If easy payment plans were<br /> +<span class="ml2">to be really efficient, patrons'</span><br /> +<span class="ml4">lifetimes had to be extended!</span></i></b></p> + +<h2><small>By ROBERT SHECKLEY</small></h2></div></div> + +<div class="bk3"><b>Illustrated by EMSH</b></div> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Carrin</span> decided that he +could trace his present +mood to Miller's suicide +last week. But the knowledge +didn't help him get rid of the +vague, formless fear in the back +of his mind. It was foolish. Miller's +suicide didn't concern him.</p> + +<p>But why had that fat, jovial +man killed himself? Miller had +had everything to live for—wife, +kids, good job, and all the marvelous +luxuries of the age. Why +had he done it?</p> + +<p>"Good morning, dear," Carrin's +wife said as he sat down at +the breakfast table.</p> + +<p>"Morning, honey. Morning, +Billy."</p> + +<p>His son grunted something.</p> + +<p>You just couldn't tell about +people, Carrin decided, and dialed +his breakfast. The meal was +gracefully prepared and served +by the new Avignon Electric Auto-cook.</p> + +<p>His mood persisted, annoyingly +enough since Carrin wanted to +be in top form this morning. It +was his day off, and the Avignon +Electric finance man was coming. +This was an important day.</p> + +<p>He walked to the door with his +son.</p> + +<p>"Have a good day, Billy."</p> + +<p>His son nodded, shifted his +books and started to school without +answering. Carrin wondered +if something was bothering him, +too. He hoped not. One worrier +in the family was plenty.</p> + +<p>"See you later, honey." He +kissed his wife as she left to go +shopping.</p> + +<p>At any rate, he thought, watching +her go down the walk, at +least she's happy. He wondered +how much she'd spend at the +A. E. store.</p> + +<p>Checking his watch, he found +that he had half an hour before +the A. E. finance man was due. +The best way to get rid of a bad +mood was to drown it, he told +himself, and headed for the +shower.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">The</span> shower room was a glittering +plastic wonder, and the +sheer luxury of it eased Carrin's +mind. He threw his clothes into +the A. E. automatic Kleen-presser, +and adjusted the shower spray +to a notch above "brisk." The +five-degrees-above-skin-temperature +water beat against his thin +white body. Delightful! And then +a relaxing rub-dry in the A. E. +Auto-towel.</p> + +<p>Wonderful, he thought, as the +towel stretched and kneaded his +stringy muscles. And it should be +wonderful, he reminded himself. +The A. E. Auto-towel with shaving +attachments had cost three +hundred and thirteen dollars, plus +tax.</p> + +<p>But worth every penny of it, +he decided, as the A. E. shaver +came out of a corner and whisked +off his rudimentary stubble. +After all, what good was life if +you couldn't enjoy the luxuries?</p> + +<p>His skin tingled when he +switched off the Auto-towel. He +should have been feeling wonderful, +but he wasn't. Miller's suicide +kept nagging at his mind, +destroying the peace of his day +off.</p> + +<p>Was there anything else bothering +him? Certainly there was +nothing wrong with the house. +His papers were in order for the +finance man.</p> + +<p>"Have I forgotten something?" +he asked out loud.</p> + +<p>"The Avignon Electric finance +man will be here in fifteen minutes," +his A. E. bathroom Wall-reminder +whispered.</p> + +<p>"I know that. Is there anything +else?"</p> + +<p>The Wall-reminder reeled off +its memorized data—a vast +amount of minutiae about watering +the lawn, having the Jet-lash +checked, buying lamb chops for +Monday, and the like. Things he +still hadn't found time for.</p> + +<p>"All right, that's enough." He +allowed the A. E. Auto-dresser to +dress him, skillfully draping a +new selection of fabrics over his +bony frame. A whiff of fashionable +masculine perfume finished +him and he went into the living +room, threading his way between +the appliances that lined the +walls.</p> + +<p>A quick inspection of the dials +on the wall assured him that the +house was in order. The breakfast +dishes had been sanitized and +stacked, the house had been +cleaned, dusted, polished, his +wife's garments had been hung +up, his son's model rocket ships +had been put back in the closet.</p> + +<p>Stop worrying, you hypochondriac, +he told himself angrily.</p> + +<p>The door announced, "Mr. +Pathis from Avignon Finance is +here."</p> + +<p>Carrin started to tell the door +to open, when he noticed the Automatic +Bartender.</p> + +<p>Good God, why hadn't he +thought of it!</p> + +<p>The Automatic Bartender was +manufactured by Castile Motors. +He had bought it in a weak moment. +A. E. wouldn't think very +highly of that, since they sold +their own brand.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">He</span> wheeled the bartender into +the kitchen, and told the +door to open.</p> + +<p>"A very good day to you, sir," +Mr. Pathis said.</p> + +<p>Pathis was a tall, imposing +man, dressed in a conservative +tweed drape. His eyes had the +crinkled corners of a man who +laughs frequently. He beamed +broadly and shook Carrin's hand, +looking around the crowded living +room.</p> + +<p>"A beautiful place you have +here, sir. Beautiful! As a matter +of fact, I don't think I'll be overstepping +the company's code to +inform you that yours is the +nicest interior in this section."</p> + +<p>Carrin felt a sudden glow of +pride at that, thinking of the +rows of identical houses, on this +block and the next, and the one +after that.</p> + +<p>"Now, then, is everything functioning +properly?" Mr. Pathis +asked, setting his briefcase on a +chair. "Everything in order?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, yes," Carrin said enthusiastically. +"Avignon Electric never +goes out of whack."</p> + +<p>"The phone all right? Changes +records for the full seventeen +hours?"</p> + +<p>"It certainly does," Carrin +said. He hadn't had a chance to +try out the phone, but it was a +beautiful piece of furniture.</p> + +<p>"The Solido-projector all right? +Enjoying the programs?"</p> + +<p>"Absolutely perfect reception." +He had watched a program just +last month, and it had been startlingly +lifelike.</p> + +<p>"How about the kitchen? Auto-cook +in order? Recipe-master +still knocking 'em out?"</p> + +<p>"Marvelous stuff. Simply marvelous."</p> + +<p>Mr. Pathis went on to inquire +about his refrigerator, his vacuum +cleaner, his car, his +helicopter, his subterranean swimming +pool, and the hundreds of +other items Carrin had bought +from Avignon Electric.</p> + +<p>"Everything is swell," Carrin +said, a trifle untruthfully since +he hadn't unpacked every item +yet. "Just wonderful."</p> + +<p>"I'm so glad," Mr. Pathis said, +leaning back with a sigh of relief. +"You have no idea how hard we +try to satisfy our customers. If +a product isn't right, back it +comes, no questions asked. We +believe in pleasing our customers."</p> + +<p>"I certainly appreciate it, Mr. +Pathis."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Carrin</span> hoped the A. E. man +wouldn't ask to see the kitchen. +He visualized the Castile +Motors Bartender in there, like +a porcupine in a dog show.</p> + +<p>"I'm proud to say that most of +the people in this neighborhood +buy from us," Mr. Pathis was +saying. "We're a solid firm."</p> + +<p>"Was Mr. Miller a customer of +yours?" Carrin asked.</p> + +<p>"That fellow who killed himself?" +Pathis frowned briefly. +"He was, as a matter of fact. +That amazed me, sir, absolutely +amazed me. Why, just last month +the fellow bought a brand-new +Jet-lash from me, capable of doing +three hundred and fifty miles +an hour on a straightaway. He +was as happy as a kid over it, +and then to go and do a thing +like that! Of course, the Jet-lash +brought up his debt a little."</p> + +<p>"Of course."</p> + +<p>"But what did that matter? +He had every luxury in the world. +And then he went and hung himself."</p> + +<p>"Hung himself?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," Pathis said, the frown +coming back. "Every modern +convenience in his house, and he +hung himself with a piece of rope. +Probably unbalanced for a long +time."</p> + +<p>The frown slid off his face, and +the customary smile replaced it. +"But enough of that! Let's talk +about you."</p> + +<p>The smile widened as Pathis +opened his briefcase. "Now, then, +your account. You owe us two +hundred and three thousand dollars +and twenty-nine cents, Mr. +Carrin, as of your last purchase. +Right?"</p> + +<p>"Right," Carrin said, remembering +the amount from his own +papers. "Here's my installment."</p> + +<p>He handed Pathis an envelope, +which the man checked and put +in his pocket.</p> + +<p>"Fine. Now you know, Mr. +Carrin, that you won't live long +enough to pay us the full two +hundred thousand, don't you?"</p> + +<p>"No, I don't suppose I will," +Carrin said soberly.</p> + +<p>He was only thirty-nine, with +a full hundred years of life before +him, thanks to the marvels +of medical science. But at a salary +of three thousand a year, he +still couldn't pay it all off and +have enough to support a family +on at the same time.</p> + +<p>"Of course, we would not want +to deprive you of necessities, +which in any case is fully protected +by the laws we helped +formulate and pass. To say nothing +of the terrific items that are +coming out next year. Things +you wouldn't want to miss, sir!"</p> + +<p>Mr. Carrin nodded. Certainly +he wanted new items.</p> + +<p>"Well, suppose we make the +customary arrangement. If you +will just sign over your son's +earnings for the first thirty years +of his adult life, we can easily +arrange credit for you."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Mr.</span> Pathis whipped the papers +out of his briefcase and +spread them in front of Carrin.</p> + +<p>"If you'll just sign here, sir."</p> + +<p>"Well," Carrin said, "I'm not +sure. I'd like to give the boy a +start in life, not saddle him +with—"</p> + +<p>"But my dear sir," Pathis interposed, +"this is for your son as +well. He lives here, doesn't he? +He has a right to enjoy the luxuries, +the marvels of science."</p> + +<p>"Sure," Carrin said. "Only—"</p> + +<p>"Why, sir, today the average +man is living like a king. A +hundred years ago the richest +man in the world couldn't buy +what any ordinary citizen possesses +at present. You mustn't +look upon it as a debt. It's an +investment."</p> + +<p>"That's true," Carrin said dubiously.</p> + +<p>He thought about his son and +his rocket ship models, his star +charts, his maps. Would it be +right? he asked himself.</p> + +<p>"What's wrong?" Pathis asked +cheerfully.</p> + +<p>"Well, I was just wondering," +Carrin said. "Signing over my +son's earnings—you don't think +I'm getting in a little too deep, +do you?"</p> + +<p>"Too deep? My dear sir!" +Pathis exploded into laughter. +"Do you know Mellon down the +block? Well, don't say I said it, +but he's already mortgaged his +grandchildren's salary for their +full life-expectancy! And he +doesn't have half the goods he's +made up his mind to own! We'll +work out something for him. +Service to the customer is our job +and we know it well."</p> + +<p>Carrin wavered visibly.</p> + +<p>"And after you're gone, sir, +they'll all belong to your son."</p> + +<p>That was true, Carrin thought. +His son would have all the marvelous +things that filled the +house. And after all, it was only +thirty years out of a life expectancy +of a hundred and fifty.</p> + +<p>He signed with a flourish.</p> + +<p>"Excellent!" Pathis said. "And +by the way, has your home got +an A. E. Master-operator?"</p> + +<p>It hadn't. Pathis explained that +a Master-operator was new this +year, a stupendous advance in +scientific engineering. It was +designed to take over all the functions +of housecleaning and cooking, +without its owner having to +lift a finger.</p> + +<p>"Instead of running around all +day, pushing half a dozen different +buttons, with the Master-operator +all you have to do is +push <i>one</i>! A remarkable achievement!"</p> + +<p>Since it was only five hundred +and thirty-five dollars, Carrin +signed for one, having it added +to his son's debt.</p> + +<p>Right's right, he thought, walking +Pathis to the door. This house +will be Billy's some day. His and +his wife's. They certainly will +want everything up-to-date.</p> + +<p>Just one button, he thought. +That <i>would</i> be a time-saver!</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">After</span> Pathis left, Carrin sat +back in an adjustable chair +and turned on the solido. After +twisting the Ezi-dial, he discovered +that there was nothing he +wanted to see. He tilted back the +chair and took a nap.</p> + +<p>The something on his mind was +still bothering him.</p> + +<p>"Hello, darling!" He awoke to +find his wife was home. She kissed +him on the ear. "Look."</p> + +<p>She had bought an A. E. Sexitizer-negligee. +He was pleasantly +surprised that that was all she +had bought. Usually, Leela returned +from shopping laden +down.</p> + +<p>"It's lovely," he said.</p> + +<p>She bent over for a kiss, then +giggled—a habit he knew she had +picked up from the latest popular +solido star. He wished she hadn't.</p> + +<p>"Going to dial supper," she +said, and went to the kitchen. +Carrin smiled, thinking that soon +she would be able to dial the +meals without moving out of the +living room. He settled back in +his chair, and his son walked in.</p> + +<p>"How's it going, Son?" he +asked heartily.</p> + +<p>"All right," Billy answered listlessly.</p> + +<p>"What'sa matter, Son?" The +boy stared at his feet, not answering. +"Come on, tell Dad what's +the trouble."</p> + +<p>Billy sat down on a packing +case and put his chin in his hands. +He looked thoughtfully at his +father.</p> + +<p>"Dad, could I be a Master Repairman +if I wanted to be?"</p> + +<p>Mr. Carrin smiled at the question. +Billy alternated between +wanting to be a Master Repairman +and a rocket pilot. The +repairmen were the elite. It was +their job to fix the automatic repair +machines. The repair machines +could fix just about +anything, but you couldn't have +a machine fix the machine that +fixed the machine. That was +where the Master Repairmen +came in.</p> + +<p>But it was a highly competitive +field and only a very few of the +best brains were able to get their +degrees. And, although the boy +was bright, he didn't seem to have +an engineering bent.</p> + +<p>"It's possible, Son. Anything is +possible."</p> + +<p>"But is it possible for me?"</p> + +<p>"I don't know," Carrin answered, +as honestly as he could.</p> + +<p>"Well, I don't want to be a +Master Repairman anyway," the +boy said, seeing that the answer +was no. "I want to be a space +pilot."</p> + +<p>"A space pilot, Billy?" Leela +asked, coming in to the room. +"But there aren't any."</p> + +<p>"Yes, there are," Billy argued. +"We were told in school that the +government is going to send some +men to Mars."</p> + +<p>"They've been saying that for +a hundred years," Carrin said, +"and they still haven't gotten +around to doing it."</p> + +<p>"They will this time."</p> + +<p>"Why would you want to go to +Mars?" Leela asked, winking at +Carrin. "There are no pretty girls +on Mars."</p> + +<p>"I'm not interested in girls. I +just want to go to Mars."</p> + +<p>"You wouldn't like it, honey," +Leela said. "It's a nasty old place +with no air."</p> + +<p>"It's got some air. I'd like to +go there," the boy insisted sullenly. +"I don't like it here."</p> + +<p>"What's that?" Carrin asked, +sitting up straight. "Is there anything +you haven't got? Anything +you want?"</p> + +<p>"No, sir. I've got everything I +want." Whenever his son called +him 'sir,' Carrin knew that something +was wrong.</p> + +<p>"Look, Son, when I was your +age I wanted to go to Mars, too. +I wanted to do romantic things. +I even wanted to be a Master +Repairman."</p> + +<p>"Then why didn't you?"</p> + +<p>"Well, I grew up. I realized +that there were more important +things. First I had to pay off the +debt my father had left me, and +then I met your mother—"</p> + +<p>Leela giggled.</p> + +<p>"—and I wanted a home of my +own. It'll be the same with you. +You'll pay off your debt and get +married, the same as the rest of +us."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Billy</span> was silent for a while, +then he brushed his dark hair—straight, +like his father's—back +from his forehead and wet his +lips.</p> + +<p>"How come I have debts, sir?"</p> + +<p>Carrin explained carefully. +About the things a family needed +for civilized living, and the cost +of those items. How they had to +be paid. How it was customary +for a son to take on a part of his +parent's debt, when he came of +age.</p> + +<p>Billy's silence annoyed him. It +was almost as if the boy were reproaching +him. After he had +slaved for years to give the ungrateful +whelp every luxury!</p> + +<p>"Son," he said harshly, "have +you studied history in school? +Good. Then you know how it +was in the past. Wars. How would +you like to get blown up in a +war?"</p> + +<p>The boy didn't answer.</p> + +<p>"Or how would you like to +break your back for eight hours +a day, doing work a machine +should handle? Or be hungry all +the time? Or cold, with the rain +beating down on you, and no +place to sleep?"</p> + +<p>He paused for a response, got +none and went on. "You live in +the most fortunate age mankind +has ever known. You are surrounded +by every wonder of art +and science. The finest music, the +greatest books and art, all at your +fingertips. All you have to do is +push a button." He shifted to a +kindlier tone. "Well, what are +you thinking?"</p> + +<p>"I was just wondering how I +could go to Mars," the boy said. +"With the debt, I mean. I don't +suppose I could get away from +that."</p> + +<p>"Of course not."</p> + +<p>"Unless I stowed away on a +rocket."</p> + +<p>"But you wouldn't do that."</p> + +<p>"No, of course not," the boy +said, but his tone lacked conviction.</p> + +<p>"You'll stay here and marry a +very nice girl," Leela told him.</p> + +<p>"Sure I will," Billy said. +"Sure." He grinned suddenly. "I +didn't mean any of that stuff +about going to Mars. I really +didn't."</p> + +<p>"I'm glad of that," Leela +answered.</p> + +<p>"Just forget I mentioned it," +Billy said, smiling stiffly. He +stood up and raced upstairs.</p> + +<p>"Probably gone to play with +his rockets," Leela said. "He's +such a little devil."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">The</span> Carrins ate a quiet supper, +and then it was time for Mr. +Carrin to go to work. He was on +night shift this month. He kissed +his wife good-by, climbed into +his Jet-lash and roared to the +factory. The automatic gates recognized +him and opened. He +parked and walked in.</p> + +<p>Automatic lathes, automatic +presses—everything was automatic. +The factory was huge and +bright, and the machines hummed +softly to themselves, doing +their job and doing it well.</p> + +<p>Carrin walked to the end of +the automatic washing machine +assembly line, to relieve the man +there.</p> + +<p>"Everything all right?" he +asked.</p> + +<p>"Sure," the man said. "Haven't +had a bad one all year. These +new models here have built-in +voices. They don't light up like +the old ones."</p> + +<p>Carrin sat down where the man +had sat and waited for the first +washing machine to come +through. His job was the soul of +simplicity. He just sat there and +the machines went by him. He +pressed a button on them and +found out if they were all right. +They always were. After passing +him, the washing machines went +to the packaging section.</p> + +<p>The first one slid by on the +long slide of rollers. He pressed +the starting button on the side.</p> + +<p>"Ready for the wash," the +washing machine said.</p> + +<p>Carrin pressed the release and +let it go by.</p> + +<p>That boy of his, Carrin +thought. Would he grow up and +face his responsibilities? Would +he mature and take his place in +society? Carrin doubted it. The +boy was a born rebel. If anyone +got to Mars, it would be his kid.</p> + +<p>But the thought didn't especially +disturb him.</p> + +<p>"Ready for the wash." Another +machine went by.</p> + +<p>Carrin remembered something +about Miller. The jovial man had +always been talking about the +planets, always kidding about +going off somewhere and roughing +it. He hadn't, though. He'd +committed suicide.</p> + +<p>"Ready for the wash."</p> + +<p>Carrin had eight hours in front +of him, and he loosened his belt +to prepare for it. Eight hours of +pushing buttons and listening to +a machine announce its readiness.</p> + +<p>"Ready for the wash."</p> + +<p>He pressed the release.</p> + +<p>"Ready for the wash."</p> + +<p>Carrin's mind strayed from the +job, which didn't need much attention +in any case. He wished +he had done what he had longed +to do as a youngster.</p> + +<p>It would have been great to be +a rocket pilot, to push a button +and go to Mars.</p> + +<p class="rgt"><b>—ROBERT SHECKLEY</b></p> + +<div class="trn"><div class="figt"><a href="images/002-2.jpg"><img src="images/002-1.jpg" width="146" height="200" alt="" title="" /></a></div> + +<p><big><b>Transcriber's Note:</b></big></p> + +<p>This etext was produced from <i>Galaxy Science Fiction</i> December 1952. +Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. +copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and +typographical errors have been corrected without note.</p></div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Cost of Living, by Robert Sheckley + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK COST OF LIVING *** + +***** This file should be named 29458-h.htm or 29458-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/9/4/5/29458/ + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Cost of Living + +Author: Robert Sheckley + +Illustrator: Ed Emshwiller + +Release Date: July 19, 2009 [EBook #29458] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK COST OF LIVING *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + +[Illustration: Illustrated by EMSH] + + + Cost + of + Living + + _If easy payment plans were + to be really efficient, patrons' + lifetimes had to be extended!_ + + By ROBERT SHECKLEY + + +Carrin decided that he could trace his present mood to Miller's suicide +last week. But the knowledge didn't help him get rid of the vague, +formless fear in the back of his mind. It was foolish. Miller's suicide +didn't concern him. + +But why had that fat, jovial man killed himself? Miller had had +everything to live for--wife, kids, good job, and all the marvelous +luxuries of the age. Why had he done it? + +"Good morning, dear," Carrin's wife said as he sat down at the breakfast +table. + +"Morning, honey. Morning, Billy." + +His son grunted something. + +You just couldn't tell about people, Carrin decided, and dialed his +breakfast. The meal was gracefully prepared and served by the new +Avignon Electric Auto-cook. + +His mood persisted, annoyingly enough since Carrin wanted to be in top +form this morning. It was his day off, and the Avignon Electric finance +man was coming. This was an important day. + +He walked to the door with his son. + +"Have a good day, Billy." + +His son nodded, shifted his books and started to school without +answering. Carrin wondered if something was bothering him, too. He hoped +not. One worrier in the family was plenty. + +"See you later, honey." He kissed his wife as she left to go shopping. + +At any rate, he thought, watching her go down the walk, at least she's +happy. He wondered how much she'd spend at the A. E. store. + +Checking his watch, he found that he had half an hour before the A. E. +finance man was due. The best way to get rid of a bad mood was to drown +it, he told himself, and headed for the shower. + + * * * * * + +The shower room was a glittering plastic wonder, and the sheer luxury of +it eased Carrin's mind. He threw his clothes into the A. E. automatic +Kleen-presser, and adjusted the shower spray to a notch above "brisk." +The five-degrees-above-skin-temperature water beat against his thin +white body. Delightful! And then a relaxing rub-dry in the A. E. +Auto-towel. + +Wonderful, he thought, as the towel stretched and kneaded his stringy +muscles. And it should be wonderful, he reminded himself. The A. E. +Auto-towel with shaving attachments had cost three hundred and thirteen +dollars, plus tax. + +But worth every penny of it, he decided, as the A. E. shaver came out of +a corner and whisked off his rudimentary stubble. After all, what good +was life if you couldn't enjoy the luxuries? + +His skin tingled when he switched off the Auto-towel. He should have +been feeling wonderful, but he wasn't. Miller's suicide kept nagging at +his mind, destroying the peace of his day off. + +Was there anything else bothering him? Certainly there was nothing wrong +with the house. His papers were in order for the finance man. + +"Have I forgotten something?" he asked out loud. + +"The Avignon Electric finance man will be here in fifteen minutes," his +A. E. bathroom Wall-reminder whispered. + +"I know that. Is there anything else?" + +The Wall-reminder reeled off its memorized data--a vast amount of +minutiae about watering the lawn, having the Jet-lash checked, buying +lamb chops for Monday, and the like. Things he still hadn't found time +for. + +"All right, that's enough." He allowed the A. E. Auto-dresser to dress +him, skillfully draping a new selection of fabrics over his bony frame. +A whiff of fashionable masculine perfume finished him and he went into +the living room, threading his way between the appliances that lined the +walls. + +A quick inspection of the dials on the wall assured him that the house +was in order. The breakfast dishes had been sanitized and stacked, the +house had been cleaned, dusted, polished, his wife's garments had been +hung up, his son's model rocket ships had been put back in the closet. + +Stop worrying, you hypochondriac, he told himself angrily. + +The door announced, "Mr. Pathis from Avignon Finance is here." + +Carrin started to tell the door to open, when he noticed the Automatic +Bartender. + +Good God, why hadn't he thought of it! + +The Automatic Bartender was manufactured by Castile Motors. He had +bought it in a weak moment. A. E. wouldn't think very highly of that, +since they sold their own brand. + + * * * * * + +He wheeled the bartender into the kitchen, and told the door to open. + +"A very good day to you, sir," Mr. Pathis said. + +Pathis was a tall, imposing man, dressed in a conservative tweed drape. +His eyes had the crinkled corners of a man who laughs frequently. He +beamed broadly and shook Carrin's hand, looking around the crowded +living room. + +"A beautiful place you have here, sir. Beautiful! As a matter of fact, I +don't think I'll be overstepping the company's code to inform you that +yours is the nicest interior in this section." + +Carrin felt a sudden glow of pride at that, thinking of the rows of +identical houses, on this block and the next, and the one after that. + +"Now, then, is everything functioning properly?" Mr. Pathis asked, +setting his briefcase on a chair. "Everything in order?" + +"Oh, yes," Carrin said enthusiastically. "Avignon Electric never goes +out of whack." + +"The phone all right? Changes records for the full seventeen hours?" + +"It certainly does," Carrin said. He hadn't had a chance to try out the +phone, but it was a beautiful piece of furniture. + +"The Solido-projector all right? Enjoying the programs?" + +"Absolutely perfect reception." He had watched a program just last +month, and it had been startlingly lifelike. + +"How about the kitchen? Auto-cook in order? Recipe-master still knocking +'em out?" + +"Marvelous stuff. Simply marvelous." + +Mr. Pathis went on to inquire about his refrigerator, his vacuum +cleaner, his car, his helicopter, his subterranean swimming pool, and +the hundreds of other items Carrin had bought from Avignon Electric. + +"Everything is swell," Carrin said, a trifle untruthfully since he +hadn't unpacked every item yet. "Just wonderful." + +"I'm so glad," Mr. Pathis said, leaning back with a sigh of relief. "You +have no idea how hard we try to satisfy our customers. If a product +isn't right, back it comes, no questions asked. We believe in pleasing +our customers." + +"I certainly appreciate it, Mr. Pathis." + + * * * * * + +Carrin hoped the A. E. man wouldn't ask to see the kitchen. He +visualized the Castile Motors Bartender in there, like a porcupine in a +dog show. + +"I'm proud to say that most of the people in this neighborhood buy from +us," Mr. Pathis was saying. "We're a solid firm." + +"Was Mr. Miller a customer of yours?" Carrin asked. + +"That fellow who killed himself?" Pathis frowned briefly. "He was, as a +matter of fact. That amazed me, sir, absolutely amazed me. Why, just +last month the fellow bought a brand-new Jet-lash from me, capable of +doing three hundred and fifty miles an hour on a straightaway. He was as +happy as a kid over it, and then to go and do a thing like that! Of +course, the Jet-lash brought up his debt a little." + +"Of course." + +"But what did that matter? He had every luxury in the world. And then he +went and hung himself." + +"Hung himself?" + +"Yes," Pathis said, the frown coming back. "Every modern convenience in +his house, and he hung himself with a piece of rope. Probably unbalanced +for a long time." + +The frown slid off his face, and the customary smile replaced it. "But +enough of that! Let's talk about you." + +The smile widened as Pathis opened his briefcase. "Now, then, your +account. You owe us two hundred and three thousand dollars and +twenty-nine cents, Mr. Carrin, as of your last purchase. Right?" + +"Right," Carrin said, remembering the amount from his own papers. +"Here's my installment." + +He handed Pathis an envelope, which the man checked and put in his +pocket. + +"Fine. Now you know, Mr. Carrin, that you won't live long enough to pay +us the full two hundred thousand, don't you?" + +"No, I don't suppose I will," Carrin said soberly. + +He was only thirty-nine, with a full hundred years of life before him, +thanks to the marvels of medical science. But at a salary of three +thousand a year, he still couldn't pay it all off and have enough to +support a family on at the same time. + +"Of course, we would not want to deprive you of necessities, which in +any case is fully protected by the laws we helped formulate and pass. To +say nothing of the terrific items that are coming out next year. Things +you wouldn't want to miss, sir!" + +Mr. Carrin nodded. Certainly he wanted new items. + +"Well, suppose we make the customary arrangement. If you will just sign +over your son's earnings for the first thirty years of his adult life, +we can easily arrange credit for you." + + * * * * * + +Mr. Pathis whipped the papers out of his briefcase and spread them in +front of Carrin. + +"If you'll just sign here, sir." + +"Well," Carrin said, "I'm not sure. I'd like to give the boy a start in +life, not saddle him with--" + +"But my dear sir," Pathis interposed, "this is for your son as well. He +lives here, doesn't he? He has a right to enjoy the luxuries, the +marvels of science." + +"Sure," Carrin said. "Only--" + +"Why, sir, today the average man is living like a king. A hundred years +ago the richest man in the world couldn't buy what any ordinary citizen +possesses at present. You mustn't look upon it as a debt. It's an +investment." + +"That's true," Carrin said dubiously. + +He thought about his son and his rocket ship models, his star charts, +his maps. Would it be right? he asked himself. + +"What's wrong?" Pathis asked cheerfully. + +"Well, I was just wondering," Carrin said. "Signing over my son's +earnings--you don't think I'm getting in a little too deep, do you?" + +"Too deep? My dear sir!" Pathis exploded into laughter. "Do you know +Mellon down the block? Well, don't say I said it, but he's already +mortgaged his grandchildren's salary for their full life-expectancy! +And he doesn't have half the goods he's made up his mind to own! We'll +work out something for him. Service to the customer is our job and we +know it well." + +Carrin wavered visibly. + +"And after you're gone, sir, they'll all belong to your son." + +That was true, Carrin thought. His son would have all the marvelous +things that filled the house. And after all, it was only thirty years +out of a life expectancy of a hundred and fifty. + +He signed with a flourish. + +"Excellent!" Pathis said. "And by the way, has your home got an A. E. +Master-operator?" + +It hadn't. Pathis explained that a Master-operator was new this year, a +stupendous advance in scientific engineering. It was designed to take +over all the functions of housecleaning and cooking, without its owner +having to lift a finger. + +"Instead of running around all day, pushing half a dozen different +buttons, with the Master-operator all you have to do is push _one_! A +remarkable achievement!" + +Since it was only five hundred and thirty-five dollars, Carrin signed +for one, having it added to his son's debt. + +Right's right, he thought, walking Pathis to the door. This house will +be Billy's some day. His and his wife's. They certainly will want +everything up-to-date. + +Just one button, he thought. That _would_ be a time-saver! + + * * * * * + +After Pathis left, Carrin sat back in an adjustable chair and turned on +the solido. After twisting the Ezi-dial, he discovered that there was +nothing he wanted to see. He tilted back the chair and took a nap. + +The something on his mind was still bothering him. + +"Hello, darling!" He awoke to find his wife was home. She kissed him on +the ear. "Look." + +She had bought an A. E. Sexitizer-negligee. He was pleasantly surprised +that that was all she had bought. Usually, Leela returned from shopping +laden down. + +"It's lovely," he said. + +She bent over for a kiss, then giggled--a habit he knew she had picked +up from the latest popular solido star. He wished she hadn't. + +"Going to dial supper," she said, and went to the kitchen. Carrin +smiled, thinking that soon she would be able to dial the meals without +moving out of the living room. He settled back in his chair, and his son +walked in. + +"How's it going, Son?" he asked heartily. + +"All right," Billy answered listlessly. + +"What'sa matter, Son?" The boy stared at his feet, not answering. "Come +on, tell Dad what's the trouble." + +Billy sat down on a packing case and put his chin in his hands. He +looked thoughtfully at his father. + +"Dad, could I be a Master Repairman if I wanted to be?" + +Mr. Carrin smiled at the question. Billy alternated between wanting to +be a Master Repairman and a rocket pilot. The repairmen were the elite. +It was their job to fix the automatic repair machines. The repair +machines could fix just about anything, but you couldn't have a machine +fix the machine that fixed the machine. That was where the Master +Repairmen came in. + +But it was a highly competitive field and only a very few of the best +brains were able to get their degrees. And, although the boy was bright, +he didn't seem to have an engineering bent. + +"It's possible, Son. Anything is possible." + +"But is it possible for me?" + +"I don't know," Carrin answered, as honestly as he could. + +"Well, I don't want to be a Master Repairman anyway," the boy said, +seeing that the answer was no. "I want to be a space pilot." + +"A space pilot, Billy?" Leela asked, coming in to the room. "But there +aren't any." + +"Yes, there are," Billy argued. "We were told in school that the +government is going to send some men to Mars." + +"They've been saying that for a hundred years," Carrin said, "and they +still haven't gotten around to doing it." + +"They will this time." + +"Why would you want to go to Mars?" Leela asked, winking at Carrin. +"There are no pretty girls on Mars." + +"I'm not interested in girls. I just want to go to Mars." + +"You wouldn't like it, honey," Leela said. "It's a nasty old place with +no air." + +"It's got some air. I'd like to go there," the boy insisted sullenly. "I +don't like it here." + +"What's that?" Carrin asked, sitting up straight. "Is there anything you +haven't got? Anything you want?" + +"No, sir. I've got everything I want." Whenever his son called him +'sir,' Carrin knew that something was wrong. + +"Look, Son, when I was your age I wanted to go to Mars, too. I wanted to +do romantic things. I even wanted to be a Master Repairman." + +"Then why didn't you?" + +"Well, I grew up. I realized that there were more important things. +First I had to pay off the debt my father had left me, and then I met +your mother--" + +Leela giggled. + +"--and I wanted a home of my own. It'll be the same with you. You'll pay +off your debt and get married, the same as the rest of us." + + * * * * * + +Billy was silent for a while, then he brushed his dark hair--straight, +like his father's--back from his forehead and wet his lips. + +"How come I have debts, sir?" + +Carrin explained carefully. About the things a family needed for +civilized living, and the cost of those items. How they had to be paid. +How it was customary for a son to take on a part of his parent's debt, +when he came of age. + +Billy's silence annoyed him. It was almost as if the boy were +reproaching him. After he had slaved for years to give the ungrateful +whelp every luxury! + +"Son," he said harshly, "have you studied history in school? Good. Then +you know how it was in the past. Wars. How would you like to get blown +up in a war?" + +The boy didn't answer. + +"Or how would you like to break your back for eight hours a day, doing +work a machine should handle? Or be hungry all the time? Or cold, with +the rain beating down on you, and no place to sleep?" + +He paused for a response, got none and went on. "You live in the most +fortunate age mankind has ever known. You are surrounded by every wonder +of art and science. The finest music, the greatest books and art, all at +your fingertips. All you have to do is push a button." He shifted to a +kindlier tone. "Well, what are you thinking?" + +"I was just wondering how I could go to Mars," the boy said. "With the +debt, I mean. I don't suppose I could get away from that." + +"Of course not." + +"Unless I stowed away on a rocket." + +"But you wouldn't do that." + +"No, of course not," the boy said, but his tone lacked conviction. + +"You'll stay here and marry a very nice girl," Leela told him. + +"Sure I will," Billy said. "Sure." He grinned suddenly. "I didn't mean +any of that stuff about going to Mars. I really didn't." + +"I'm glad of that," Leela answered. + +"Just forget I mentioned it," Billy said, smiling stiffly. He stood up +and raced upstairs. + +"Probably gone to play with his rockets," Leela said. "He's such a +little devil." + + * * * * * + +The Carrins ate a quiet supper, and then it was time for Mr. Carrin to +go to work. He was on night shift this month. He kissed his wife +good-by, climbed into his Jet-lash and roared to the factory. The +automatic gates recognized him and opened. He parked and walked in. + +Automatic lathes, automatic presses--everything was automatic. The +factory was huge and bright, and the machines hummed softly to +themselves, doing their job and doing it well. + +Carrin walked to the end of the automatic washing machine assembly line, +to relieve the man there. + +"Everything all right?" he asked. + +"Sure," the man said. "Haven't had a bad one all year. These new models +here have built-in voices. They don't light up like the old ones." + +Carrin sat down where the man had sat and waited for the first washing +machine to come through. His job was the soul of simplicity. He just sat +there and the machines went by him. He pressed a button on them and +found out if they were all right. They always were. After passing him, +the washing machines went to the packaging section. + +The first one slid by on the long slide of rollers. He pressed the +starting button on the side. + +"Ready for the wash," the washing machine said. + +Carrin pressed the release and let it go by. + +That boy of his, Carrin thought. Would he grow up and face his +responsibilities? Would he mature and take his place in society? Carrin +doubted it. The boy was a born rebel. If anyone got to Mars, it would be +his kid. + +But the thought didn't especially disturb him. + +"Ready for the wash." Another machine went by. + +Carrin remembered something about Miller. The jovial man had always been +talking about the planets, always kidding about going off somewhere and +roughing it. He hadn't, though. He'd committed suicide. + +"Ready for the wash." + +Carrin had eight hours in front of him, and he loosened his belt to +prepare for it. Eight hours of pushing buttons and listening to a +machine announce its readiness. + +"Ready for the wash." + +He pressed the release. + +"Ready for the wash." + +Carrin's mind strayed from the job, which didn't need much attention in +any case. He wished he had done what he had longed to do as a youngster. + +It would have been great to be a rocket pilot, to push a button and go +to Mars. + + --ROBERT SHECKLEY + + + + +Transcriber's Note: + + This etext was produced from _Galaxy Science Fiction_ December 1952. + Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. + copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and + typographical errors have been corrected without note. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Cost of Living, by Robert Sheckley + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK COST OF LIVING *** + +***** This file should be named 29458.txt or 29458.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/9/4/5/29458/ + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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