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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30468 ***
+
+[Illustration: _It was getting so a person couldn't sleep nights
+anymore._]
+
+
+    _Would you like to see all hell break loose? Just make a few holes
+    in nothing at all--push some steel beams through the holes--and then
+    head for the hills. But first, read what happened to some people who
+    really did it._
+
+
+        HOLES
+     INCORPORATED
+
+ By L. Major Reynolds
+
+
+The red-headed secretary asked, "Names, please?"
+
+"Ted Baker."
+
+"Bill Stephens."
+
+"To see H. Joshua Blair. We have an appointment."
+
+"It's for three-thirty. We called up two weeks ago."
+
+The secretary said, "Oh, yes. I have you on the list." She checked them
+off, studied them vaguely, asked, "What was it you wanted to see Mr.
+Blair about?"
+
+Ted Baker held out the small steel box he was carrying. "About this."
+
+"Ah--what is it?"
+
+"It's a box."
+
+"I can see that," the redhead snapped. "What is it for? What does it
+do?"
+
+"It's for construction work. It makes holes."
+
+The girl sighed. It was late in the day and she didn't care much,
+really. She snapped an intercom button. An inquiring voice rasped at
+her. She said, "A Mr. Baker and a Mr. Stephens to see you."
+
+Evidently it was all right because she snapped off the button and
+pointed to a door. "In there."
+
+They went in the door and faced a desk large enough to play tennis on.
+The man behind the desk gave them a cordial snarl. "Well, what have you
+got on your mind? And don't take all day to tell me."
+
+Ted extended the box. "This. We'd like to sell it to you."
+
+"What is it? A bomb?"
+
+"No, sir. It makes holes. It makes holes real quick."
+
+Blair scowled at the box. "What the hell do I want of holes?"
+
+Bill Stephens came forward with further explanation. "You see, sir, Ted
+and I are inventors. We make, well--things. We've been working on this
+invention in our basement and it seems to be a success."
+
+"We don't quite know why it's a success," Ted said, "but it is."
+
+"We'd like to demonstrate it for you."
+
+"Well, go ahead and demonstrate."
+
+Ted raised the box and aimed it horizontally at nothing in particular.
+He pressed a black button. There was an odd whirring noise. He took his
+hand off the button and lowered the box.
+
+"What are you waiting for?" Blair growled.
+
+"Nothing. That's it. I've made the hole."
+
+"Are you two crazy? What kind of a fool trick--?"
+
+Ted reached down and took a pencil off the desk. "May I borrow this?"
+Without waiting for permission, he put the pencil carefully into the
+place he'd pointed the box. Half the pencil disappeared. He took his
+hand away. The part of the pencil still in sight didn't come with it. It
+stayed where it was, lying in thin air, horizontally, with no apparent
+support.
+
+H. Joshua Blair goggled and turned three shades whiter. "Wha-wha-what
+the hell!"
+
+"And now, if you'll try to move the pencil, the demonstration will be
+complete."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Like a man in a trance, Blair got up from his desk and grasped the
+pencil. It wouldn't move. He got red in the face and threw all his
+weight on it. It would neither pull nor push. It stayed where it was.
+Finally Blair backed away from the thing. He leaned on his desk and
+panted.
+
+"You see," Ted said, "The hole goes into the fourth dimension. There's
+no other explanation. And the fourth dimension holds solider than
+concrete."
+
+Old Blair's head was spinning, but business instinct came quickly to his
+rescue. "What happens," he asked, "if something in the third dimension
+is in the way?"
+
+"It gets out of the way," Bill said.
+
+Ted demonstrated. He trained the box on the visible remains of the
+pencil. It vanished.
+
+Blair said, "Well, I'll be damned!"
+
+"We figure this will save you a lot of money in construction work," Bill
+said. "You can get along without riveters. You just have a man put holes
+in girders with this and push the rivets through. You also make holes
+for the beam-ends, and your entire building will be anchored in the
+fourth dimension."
+
+"Do it again," Blair said.
+
+Ted made another hole and put another pencil into it. Blair grasped the
+pencil and applied leverage. The pencil snapped at the point it entered
+the next dimension but the broken end of the far piece was not to be
+seen.
+
+Blair asked, "You say you two invented this gadget?"
+
+"That's right," Bill said. "We've got a workshop in my basement. We
+invent in the evenings after we come home from work."
+
+"What do you work at?"
+
+"I read gas meters. He's a clerk in a supermarket."
+
+"I suppose you want money for this thing."
+
+"We'd like to sell it, yes, sir."
+
+"How much do you want for it?"
+
+"Well, we don't know. What's it worth to you?"
+
+"Nothing probably. Leave it here a few days. I'll look it over and let
+you know."
+
+"But--"
+
+"And don't call me--I'll call you."
+
+"But--"
+
+"Leave your address and phone number with my secretary."
+
+After Ted and Bill left, Blair yelled, "Get me Jake Steadman in the
+engineering department!" He didn't bother using the intercom, but his
+secretary heard him anyhow.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Ted and Bill went to work on an idea they had for the treatment of
+leather. You dipped your shoes in a solution and they lasted forever.
+The thing didn't work too well, however. It was full of bugs. They tried
+to eliminate the bugs and once in a while they thought of H. Joshua
+Blair.
+
+"Don't you think it's about time he called us?" Ted asked.
+
+"Don't be so impatient. He's a big man. He owns a big company. It takes
+time."
+
+"He's had over a month."
+
+"Relax. We'll hear from him."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Another week passed, and another, until one evening Ted came galloping
+into the workshop with news. "That big new addition to the City Hall!
+They're working on it! H. Joshua Blair Construction Company. A big sign
+says so!"
+
+"Relax. You'll blow a tube."
+
+"Relax hell! He's using our invention to put up the steel girders. Just
+like we suggested to him. Guys with boxes like ours making holes and
+putting in rivets!"
+
+Bill stopped what he was doing. "He said he'd call us. Maybe he forgot.
+Maybe we better go see him."
+
+They both knocked off work the next day and got to Blair's office at
+nine o'clock. The red-headed secretary said, "You'll have to make an
+appointment."
+
+"Appointment hell!" Ted headed for the inner door. Bill followed him.
+They went into H. Joshua Blair's office to find him in conference with
+two vice-presidents. Ted said, "Mr. Blair, we came--"
+
+"Who in the devil are you?"
+
+"You remember us. Ted Baker and Bill Stephens. We came about our
+invention."
+
+"What invention?"
+
+"Our hole maker. You're using it on the City Hall addition."
+
+Blair glowered. "Where'd you get the idea it was yours? Have you got any
+patents to show?"
+
+"Well, no. We didn't--"
+
+"I did! Fourteen good solid patents. You two better go peddle your
+groceries."
+
+"Now look, Mr. Blair."
+
+Blair raised his voice. "Throw these two bums out!"
+
+Three huskies appeared as by magic to do Blair's bidding. As Ted and
+Bill landed on the sidewalk, one of the vice-presidents said, "Do you
+think that was smart, H. J.? They might cause trouble."
+
+Blair snorted. "They haven't got a prayer. A meter reader and a grocery
+clerk!"
+
+"We could have at least given them a few hundred."
+
+"Not on your life. Never give a sucker an even break, Jim. Give them
+anything at all, we acknowledge their claim. That'd be stupid."
+
+"Maybe you're right."
+
+"Of course I'm right. It's business. Now about those other bids. By gad!
+We can run every contractor in town out of competition! They can't touch
+our prices!"
+
+Out on the sidewalk, Bill and Ted sat mournfully looking up at the vast
+steel skeleton, held together literally by their own genius. Ted said,
+"We got a raw deal."
+
+"Maybe we had it coming. We were pretty stupid."
+
+"Anything we can do?"
+
+"Doesn't look like it."
+
+"Maybe the leather solution will turn out."
+
+"Maybe." Bill looked wistfully up at the steel skeleton. "At even a cent
+a hole, we'd have done all right."
+
+"Let's go home and get to work."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In the Mighty and Benevolent Kingdom of Szkazia, a minor reign of terror
+existed. The King, tired of complaints from his subjects, had just
+finished dressing down his Prime Minister. The Prime Minister was
+passing the abuse on to his Chief Scientist. "If something isn't done
+soon, I won't be responsible for your head, my friend. The King is in a
+rage."
+
+The eyes of the Chief Scientist watered--partly from fear, and partly
+from nights and days spent in his laboratory beating out his brains on
+one idea after another.
+
+"I'm doing my best, sire--"
+
+"It's not good enough! These steel girders coming out of nowhere!
+Banging people in the head--whacking them in the stomach! Why it isn't
+safe to walk through the halls of the Administration Building. Even the
+bedrooms of the Executive Apartments are not safe! The other night the
+Director of Propaganda had just gone to bed--"
+
+"I know of the incident," the Chief Scientist said hurriedly.
+
+"Oh, you do? But you've done nothing about--"
+
+"I've been working hard," the scientist said patiently, "and I think I
+have the solution. Give me another day."
+
+"One day, then. After that--" The Prime Minister made a significant
+slicing motion with his finger.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The Prime Minister chewed his fingernails and watched the clock. Sleep
+was out of the question with the King calling up every little while
+yelling for action. The Minister counted the hours and presented himself
+at the Royal Laboratories precisely twenty-four hours later. "Time's
+up," he snapped.
+
+The Chief Scientist was wiping his face. There were new lines around his
+mouth. He indicated a small steel box. "I think I've got it," he said.
+"Come with me."
+
+They went swiftly to the Administration Building. "This should be close
+enough. We depress this lever and--and hope."
+
+"Well, do it--do it!"
+
+The Chief Scientist pushed the lever on the steel box. A whirring sound
+came from within. All the steel girder ends in sight--all the nasty
+little rivets--disappeared. The Chief Scientist smiled and wiped his
+face again. "It worked," he said.
+
+"Excellent. I'll see that you get a medal."
+
+"Thank you," the Chief Scientist said sadly. That was the trouble with
+people nowadays. They either handed you a medal or your head.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Ted and Bill stared sadly at the mess around the City Hall. Bill said,
+"It's a good thing it collapsed at night so nobody was killed, isn't
+it?"
+
+"You said it. I'd have felt guilty if there'd been any casualties."
+
+"What do you suppose went wrong?"
+
+"You got me. What do you think they'll do to old Blair?"
+
+"I don't know, but it looks pretty bad. They refused to let him out on
+bail."
+
+"Serves him right. The way he treated us."
+
+"You've got it wrong. He treated us swell. He did us a big favor. We
+could have been blamed for this."
+
+Bill thought it over before saying, "I guess you're right. I hadn't
+looked at it that way."
+
+"Let's go home and get to work on the leather solution."
+
+So they did.
+
+
+THE END
+
+
+
+
+Transcriber's Note:
+
+    This etext was produced from _If Worlds of Science Fiction_
+    September 1952. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
+    the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling
+    and typographical errors have been corrected without note.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Holes, Incorporated, by L. Major Reynolds
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30468 ***
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+      The Project Gutenberg eBook of Holes, Incorporated, by L. Major Reynolds
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+<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30468 ***</div>
+
+<div class="figr"><img src="images/001.png" width="387" height="500" alt="" title="" />
+<small><b><i>It was getting so a person couldn't sleep nights anymore.</i></b></small></div>
+
+<p><big><i>Would you like to see all hell break loose?
+Just make a few holes in nothing at all&mdash;push
+some steel beams through the holes&mdash;and then
+head for the hills. But first, read what happened
+to some people who really did it.</i></big></p>
+
+<h1><span class="sp1">HOLES</span><br />
+<b>INCORPORATED</b></h1>
+
+<h2>By L. Major Reynolds</h2>
+
+<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">The</span> red-headed secretary asked,
+"Names, please?"</p>
+
+<p>"Ted Baker."</p>
+
+<p>"Bill Stephens."</p>
+
+<p>"To see H. Joshua Blair. We
+have an appointment."</p>
+
+<p>"It's for three-thirty. We called
+up two weeks ago."</p>
+
+<p>The secretary said, "Oh, yes. I
+have you on the list." She checked
+them off, studied them vaguely,
+asked, "What was it you wanted to
+see Mr. Blair about?"</p>
+
+<p>Ted Baker held out the small
+steel box he was carrying. "About
+this."</p>
+
+<p>"Ah&mdash;what is it?"</p>
+
+<p>"It's a box."</p>
+
+<p>"I can see that," the redhead
+snapped. "What is it for? What
+does it do?"</p>
+
+<p>"It's for construction work. It
+makes holes."</p>
+
+<p>The girl sighed. It was late in the
+day and she didn't care much, really.
+She snapped an intercom button.
+An inquiring voice rasped at
+her. She said, "A Mr. Baker and a
+Mr. Stephens to see you."</p>
+
+<p>Evidently it was all right because
+she snapped off the button and
+pointed to a door. "In there."</p>
+
+<p>They went in the door and faced
+a desk large enough to play tennis
+on. The man behind the desk gave
+them a cordial snarl. "Well, what
+have you got on your mind? And
+don't take all day to tell me."</p>
+
+<p>Ted extended the box. "This.
+We'd like to sell it to you."</p>
+
+<p>"What is it? A bomb?"</p>
+
+<p>"No, sir. It makes holes. It makes
+holes real quick."</p>
+
+<p>Blair scowled at the box. "What
+the hell do I want of holes?"</p>
+
+<p>Bill Stephens came forward with
+further explanation. "You see, sir,
+Ted and I are inventors. We make,
+well&mdash;things. We've been working
+on this invention in our basement
+and it seems to be a success."</p>
+
+<p>"We don't quite know why it's a
+success," Ted said, "but it is."</p>
+
+<p>"We'd like to demonstrate it for
+you."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, go ahead and demonstrate."</p>
+
+<p>Ted raised the box and aimed it
+horizontally at nothing in particular.
+He pressed a black button.
+There was an odd whirring noise.
+He took his hand off the button and
+lowered the box.</p>
+
+<p>"What are you waiting for?"
+Blair growled.</p>
+
+<p>"Nothing. That's it. I've made
+the hole."</p>
+
+<p>"Are you two crazy? What kind
+of a fool trick&mdash;?"</p>
+
+<p>Ted reached down and took a
+pencil off the desk. "May I borrow
+this?" Without waiting for permission,
+he put the pencil carefully into
+the place he'd pointed the box. Half
+the pencil disappeared. He took his
+hand away. The part of the pencil
+still in sight didn't come with it. It
+stayed where it was, lying in thin
+air, horizontally, with no apparent
+support.</p>
+
+<p>H. Joshua Blair goggled and
+turned three shades whiter. "Wha-wha-what
+the hell!"</p>
+
+<p>"And now, if you'll try to move
+the pencil, the demonstration will
+be complete."</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Like</span> a man in a trance, Blair
+got up from his desk and
+grasped the pencil. It wouldn't
+move. He got red in the face and
+threw all his weight on it. It would
+neither pull nor push. It stayed
+where it was. Finally Blair backed
+away from the thing. He leaned on
+his desk and panted.</p>
+
+<p>"You see," Ted said, "The hole
+goes into the fourth dimension.
+There's no other explanation. And
+the fourth dimension holds solider
+than concrete."</p>
+
+<p>Old Blair's head was spinning,
+but business instinct came quickly
+to his rescue. "What happens," he
+asked, "if something in the third
+dimension is in the way?"</p>
+
+<p>"It gets out of the way," Bill said.</p>
+
+<p>Ted demonstrated. He trained
+the box on the visible remains of the
+pencil. It vanished.</p>
+
+<p>Blair said, "Well, I'll be damned!"</p>
+
+<p>"We figure this will save you a lot
+of money in construction work,"
+Bill said. "You can get along without
+riveters. You just have a man
+put holes in girders with this and
+push the rivets through. You also
+make holes for the beam-ends, and
+your entire building will be anchored
+in the fourth dimension."</p>
+
+<p>"Do it again," Blair said.</p>
+
+<p>Ted made another hole and put
+another pencil into it. Blair grasped
+the pencil and applied leverage.
+The pencil snapped at the point it
+entered the next dimension but the
+broken end of the far piece was not
+to be seen.</p>
+
+<p>Blair asked, "You say you two
+invented this gadget?"</p>
+
+<p>"That's right," Bill said. "We've
+got a workshop in my basement. We
+invent in the evenings after we
+come home from work."</p>
+
+<p>"What do you work at?"</p>
+
+<p>"I read gas meters. He's a clerk
+in a supermarket."</p>
+
+<p>"I suppose you want money for
+this thing."</p>
+
+<p>"We'd like to sell it, yes, sir."</p>
+
+<p>"How much do you want for it?"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, we don't know. What's it
+worth to you?"</p>
+
+<p>"Nothing probably. Leave it here
+a few days. I'll look it over and let
+you know."</p>
+
+<p>"But&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"And don't call me&mdash;I'll call
+you."</p>
+
+<p>"But&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Leave your address and phone
+number with my secretary."</p>
+
+<p>After Ted and Bill left, Blair
+yelled, "Get me Jake Steadman in
+the engineering department!" He
+didn't bother using the intercom,
+but his secretary heard him anyhow.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>Ted and Bill went to work on an
+idea they had for the treatment of
+leather. You dipped your shoes in a
+solution and they lasted forever.
+The thing didn't work too well,
+however. It was full of bugs. They
+tried to eliminate the bugs and once
+in a while they thought of H.
+Joshua Blair.</p>
+
+<p>"Don't you think it's about time
+he called us?" Ted asked.</p>
+
+<p>"Don't be so impatient. He's a
+big man. He owns a big company.
+It takes time."</p>
+
+<p>"He's had over a month."</p>
+
+<p>"Relax. We'll hear from him."</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Another</span> week passed, and
+another, until one evening
+Ted came galloping into the workshop
+with news. "That big new addition
+to the City Hall! They're
+working on it! H. Joshua Blair Construction
+Company. A big sign says
+so!"</p>
+
+<p>"Relax. You'll blow a tube."</p>
+
+<p>"Relax hell! He's using our invention
+to put up the steel girders.
+Just like we suggested to him. Guys
+with boxes like ours making holes
+and putting in rivets!"</p>
+
+<p>Bill stopped what he was doing.
+"He said he'd call us. Maybe he forgot.
+Maybe we better go see him."</p>
+
+<p>They both knocked off work the
+next day and got to Blair's office at
+nine o'clock. The red-headed
+secretary said, "You'll have to make
+an appointment."</p>
+
+<p>"Appointment hell!" Ted headed
+for the inner door. Bill followed
+him. They went into H. Joshua
+Blair's office to find him in conference
+with two vice-presidents.
+Ted said, "Mr. Blair, we came&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Who in the devil are you?"</p>
+
+<p>"You remember us. Ted Baker
+and Bill Stephens. We came about
+our invention."</p>
+
+<p>"What invention?"</p>
+
+<p>"Our hole maker. You're using it
+on the City Hall addition."</p>
+
+<p>Blair glowered. "Where'd you get
+the idea it was yours? Have you got
+any patents to show?"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, no. We didn't&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"I did! Fourteen good solid
+patents. You two better go peddle
+your groceries."</p>
+
+<p>"Now look, Mr. Blair."</p>
+
+<p>Blair raised his voice. "Throw
+these two bums out!"</p>
+
+<p>Three huskies appeared as by
+magic to do Blair's bidding. As Ted
+and Bill landed on the sidewalk, one
+of the vice-presidents said, "Do you
+think that was smart, H. J.? They
+might cause trouble."</p>
+
+<p>Blair snorted. "They haven't got
+a prayer. A meter reader and a
+grocery clerk!"</p>
+
+<p>"We could have at least given
+them a few hundred."</p>
+
+<p>"Not on your life. Never give a
+sucker an even break, Jim. Give
+them anything at all, we acknowledge
+their claim. That'd be stupid."</p>
+
+<p>"Maybe you're right."</p>
+
+<p>"Of course I'm right. It's business.
+Now about those other bids. By
+gad! We can run every contractor in
+town out of competition! They
+can't touch our prices!"</p>
+
+<p>Out on the sidewalk, Bill and Ted
+sat mournfully looking up at the
+vast steel skeleton, held together
+literally by their own genius. Ted
+said, "We got a raw deal."</p>
+
+<p>"Maybe we had it coming. We
+were pretty stupid."</p>
+
+<p>"Anything we can do?"</p>
+
+<p>"Doesn't look like it."</p>
+
+<p>"Maybe the leather solution will
+turn out."</p>
+
+<p>"Maybe." Bill looked wistfully up
+at the steel skeleton. "At even a cent
+a hole, we'd have done all right."</p>
+
+<p>"Let's go home and get to work."</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>In the Mighty and Benevolent
+Kingdom of Szkazia, a minor reign
+of terror existed. The King, tired of
+complaints from his subjects, had
+just finished dressing down his
+Prime Minister. The Prime Minister
+was passing the abuse on to his
+Chief Scientist. "If something isn't
+done soon, I won't be responsible
+for your head, my friend. The King
+is in a rage."</p>
+
+<p>The eyes of the Chief Scientist
+watered&mdash;partly from fear, and
+partly from nights and days spent
+in his laboratory beating out his
+brains on one idea after another.</p>
+
+<p>"I'm doing my best, sire&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"It's not good enough! These
+steel girders coming out of nowhere!
+Banging people in the head&mdash;whacking
+them in the stomach!
+Why it isn't safe to walk through the
+halls of the Administration Building.
+Even the bedrooms of the Executive
+Apartments are not safe! The
+other night the Director of Propaganda
+had just gone to bed&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"I know of the incident," the
+Chief Scientist said hurriedly.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, you do? But you've done
+nothing about&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"I've been working hard," the
+scientist said patiently, "and I think
+I have the solution. Give me another
+day."</p>
+
+<p>"One day, then. After that&mdash;"
+The Prime Minister made a significant
+slicing motion with his finger.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">The</span> Prime Minister chewed his
+fingernails and watched the
+clock. Sleep was out of the question
+with the King calling up every little
+while yelling for action. The
+Minister counted the hours and
+presented himself at the Royal
+Laboratories precisely twenty-four
+hours later. "Time's up," he
+snapped.</p>
+
+<p>The Chief Scientist was wiping
+his face. There were new lines
+around his mouth. He indicated a
+small steel box. "I think I've got it,"
+he said. "Come with me."</p>
+
+<p>They went swiftly to the Administration
+Building. "This should be
+close enough. We depress this lever
+and&mdash;and hope."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, do it&mdash;do it!"</p>
+
+<p>The Chief Scientist pushed the
+lever on the steel box. A whirring
+sound came from within. All the
+steel girder ends in sight&mdash;all the
+nasty little rivets&mdash;disappeared.
+The Chief Scientist smiled and
+wiped his face again. "It worked,"
+he said.</p>
+
+<p>"Excellent. I'll see that you get a
+medal."</p>
+
+<p>"Thank you," the Chief Scientist
+said sadly. That was the trouble
+with people nowadays. They either
+handed you a medal or your head.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Ted</span> and Bill stared sadly at
+the mess around the City Hall.
+Bill said, "It's a good thing it collapsed
+at night so nobody was
+killed, isn't it?"</p>
+
+<p>"You said it. I'd have felt guilty
+if there'd been any casualties."</p>
+
+<p>"What do you suppose went
+wrong?"</p>
+
+<p>"You got me. What do you think
+they'll do to old Blair?"</p>
+
+<p>"I don't know, but it looks pretty
+bad. They refused to let him out on
+bail."</p>
+
+<p>"Serves him right. The way he
+treated us."</p>
+
+<p>"You've got it wrong. He treated
+us swell. He did us a big favor. We
+could have been blamed for this."</p>
+
+<p>Bill thought it over before saying,
+"I guess you're right. I hadn't
+looked at it that way."</p>
+
+<p>"Let's go home and get to work
+on the leather solution."</p>
+
+<p>So they did.</p>
+
+<p class="hd1">THE END</p>
+
+<div class="trn"><div class="figt"><a href="images/002-2.jpg"><img src="images/002-1.jpg" width="137" height="200" alt="" title="" /></a></div>
+
+<p><big><b>Transcriber's Note:</b></big></p>
+
+<p>This etext was produced from <i>If Worlds of Science Fiction</i> September 1952.
+Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S.
+copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and
+typographical errors have been corrected without note.</p></div>
+
+<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30468 ***</div>
+</body>
+</html>
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+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Holes, Incorporated, by L. Major Reynolds
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Holes, Incorporated
+
+Author: L. Major Reynolds
+
+Illustrator: Hi Marx
+
+Release Date: November 13, 2009 [EBook #30468]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HOLES, INCORPORATED ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<div class="figr"><img src="images/001.png" width="387" height="500" alt="" title="" />
+<small><b><i>It was getting so a person couldn't sleep nights anymore.</i></b></small></div>
+
+<p><big><i>Would you like to see all hell break loose?
+Just make a few holes in nothing at all&mdash;push
+some steel beams through the holes&mdash;and then
+head for the hills. But first, read what happened
+to some people who really did it.</i></big></p>
+
+<h1><span class="sp1">HOLES</span><br />
+<b>INCORPORATED</b></h1>
+
+<h2>By L. Major Reynolds</h2>
+
+<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">The</span> red-headed secretary asked,
+"Names, please?"</p>
+
+<p>"Ted Baker."</p>
+
+<p>"Bill Stephens."</p>
+
+<p>"To see H. Joshua Blair. We
+have an appointment."</p>
+
+<p>"It's for three-thirty. We called
+up two weeks ago."</p>
+
+<p>The secretary said, "Oh, yes. I
+have you on the list." She checked
+them off, studied them vaguely,
+asked, "What was it you wanted to
+see Mr. Blair about?"</p>
+
+<p>Ted Baker held out the small
+steel box he was carrying. "About
+this."</p>
+
+<p>"Ah&mdash;what is it?"</p>
+
+<p>"It's a box."</p>
+
+<p>"I can see that," the redhead
+snapped. "What is it for? What
+does it do?"</p>
+
+<p>"It's for construction work. It
+makes holes."</p>
+
+<p>The girl sighed. It was late in the
+day and she didn't care much, really.
+She snapped an intercom button.
+An inquiring voice rasped at
+her. She said, "A Mr. Baker and a
+Mr. Stephens to see you."</p>
+
+<p>Evidently it was all right because
+she snapped off the button and
+pointed to a door. "In there."</p>
+
+<p>They went in the door and faced
+a desk large enough to play tennis
+on. The man behind the desk gave
+them a cordial snarl. "Well, what
+have you got on your mind? And
+don't take all day to tell me."</p>
+
+<p>Ted extended the box. "This.
+We'd like to sell it to you."</p>
+
+<p>"What is it? A bomb?"</p>
+
+<p>"No, sir. It makes holes. It makes
+holes real quick."</p>
+
+<p>Blair scowled at the box. "What
+the hell do I want of holes?"</p>
+
+<p>Bill Stephens came forward with
+further explanation. "You see, sir,
+Ted and I are inventors. We make,
+well&mdash;things. We've been working
+on this invention in our basement
+and it seems to be a success."</p>
+
+<p>"We don't quite know why it's a
+success," Ted said, "but it is."</p>
+
+<p>"We'd like to demonstrate it for
+you."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, go ahead and demonstrate."</p>
+
+<p>Ted raised the box and aimed it
+horizontally at nothing in particular.
+He pressed a black button.
+There was an odd whirring noise.
+He took his hand off the button and
+lowered the box.</p>
+
+<p>"What are you waiting for?"
+Blair growled.</p>
+
+<p>"Nothing. That's it. I've made
+the hole."</p>
+
+<p>"Are you two crazy? What kind
+of a fool trick&mdash;?"</p>
+
+<p>Ted reached down and took a
+pencil off the desk. "May I borrow
+this?" Without waiting for permission,
+he put the pencil carefully into
+the place he'd pointed the box. Half
+the pencil disappeared. He took his
+hand away. The part of the pencil
+still in sight didn't come with it. It
+stayed where it was, lying in thin
+air, horizontally, with no apparent
+support.</p>
+
+<p>H. Joshua Blair goggled and
+turned three shades whiter. "Wha-wha-what
+the hell!"</p>
+
+<p>"And now, if you'll try to move
+the pencil, the demonstration will
+be complete."</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Like</span> a man in a trance, Blair
+got up from his desk and
+grasped the pencil. It wouldn't
+move. He got red in the face and
+threw all his weight on it. It would
+neither pull nor push. It stayed
+where it was. Finally Blair backed
+away from the thing. He leaned on
+his desk and panted.</p>
+
+<p>"You see," Ted said, "The hole
+goes into the fourth dimension.
+There's no other explanation. And
+the fourth dimension holds solider
+than concrete."</p>
+
+<p>Old Blair's head was spinning,
+but business instinct came quickly
+to his rescue. "What happens," he
+asked, "if something in the third
+dimension is in the way?"</p>
+
+<p>"It gets out of the way," Bill said.</p>
+
+<p>Ted demonstrated. He trained
+the box on the visible remains of the
+pencil. It vanished.</p>
+
+<p>Blair said, "Well, I'll be damned!"</p>
+
+<p>"We figure this will save you a lot
+of money in construction work,"
+Bill said. "You can get along without
+riveters. You just have a man
+put holes in girders with this and
+push the rivets through. You also
+make holes for the beam-ends, and
+your entire building will be anchored
+in the fourth dimension."</p>
+
+<p>"Do it again," Blair said.</p>
+
+<p>Ted made another hole and put
+another pencil into it. Blair grasped
+the pencil and applied leverage.
+The pencil snapped at the point it
+entered the next dimension but the
+broken end of the far piece was not
+to be seen.</p>
+
+<p>Blair asked, "You say you two
+invented this gadget?"</p>
+
+<p>"That's right," Bill said. "We've
+got a workshop in my basement. We
+invent in the evenings after we
+come home from work."</p>
+
+<p>"What do you work at?"</p>
+
+<p>"I read gas meters. He's a clerk
+in a supermarket."</p>
+
+<p>"I suppose you want money for
+this thing."</p>
+
+<p>"We'd like to sell it, yes, sir."</p>
+
+<p>"How much do you want for it?"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, we don't know. What's it
+worth to you?"</p>
+
+<p>"Nothing probably. Leave it here
+a few days. I'll look it over and let
+you know."</p>
+
+<p>"But&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"And don't call me&mdash;I'll call
+you."</p>
+
+<p>"But&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Leave your address and phone
+number with my secretary."</p>
+
+<p>After Ted and Bill left, Blair
+yelled, "Get me Jake Steadman in
+the engineering department!" He
+didn't bother using the intercom,
+but his secretary heard him anyhow.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>Ted and Bill went to work on an
+idea they had for the treatment of
+leather. You dipped your shoes in a
+solution and they lasted forever.
+The thing didn't work too well,
+however. It was full of bugs. They
+tried to eliminate the bugs and once
+in a while they thought of H.
+Joshua Blair.</p>
+
+<p>"Don't you think it's about time
+he called us?" Ted asked.</p>
+
+<p>"Don't be so impatient. He's a
+big man. He owns a big company.
+It takes time."</p>
+
+<p>"He's had over a month."</p>
+
+<p>"Relax. We'll hear from him."</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Another</span> week passed, and
+another, until one evening
+Ted came galloping into the workshop
+with news. "That big new addition
+to the City Hall! They're
+working on it! H. Joshua Blair Construction
+Company. A big sign says
+so!"</p>
+
+<p>"Relax. You'll blow a tube."</p>
+
+<p>"Relax hell! He's using our invention
+to put up the steel girders.
+Just like we suggested to him. Guys
+with boxes like ours making holes
+and putting in rivets!"</p>
+
+<p>Bill stopped what he was doing.
+"He said he'd call us. Maybe he forgot.
+Maybe we better go see him."</p>
+
+<p>They both knocked off work the
+next day and got to Blair's office at
+nine o'clock. The red-headed
+secretary said, "You'll have to make
+an appointment."</p>
+
+<p>"Appointment hell!" Ted headed
+for the inner door. Bill followed
+him. They went into H. Joshua
+Blair's office to find him in conference
+with two vice-presidents.
+Ted said, "Mr. Blair, we came&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Who in the devil are you?"</p>
+
+<p>"You remember us. Ted Baker
+and Bill Stephens. We came about
+our invention."</p>
+
+<p>"What invention?"</p>
+
+<p>"Our hole maker. You're using it
+on the City Hall addition."</p>
+
+<p>Blair glowered. "Where'd you get
+the idea it was yours? Have you got
+any patents to show?"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, no. We didn't&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"I did! Fourteen good solid
+patents. You two better go peddle
+your groceries."</p>
+
+<p>"Now look, Mr. Blair."</p>
+
+<p>Blair raised his voice. "Throw
+these two bums out!"</p>
+
+<p>Three huskies appeared as by
+magic to do Blair's bidding. As Ted
+and Bill landed on the sidewalk, one
+of the vice-presidents said, "Do you
+think that was smart, H. J.? They
+might cause trouble."</p>
+
+<p>Blair snorted. "They haven't got
+a prayer. A meter reader and a
+grocery clerk!"</p>
+
+<p>"We could have at least given
+them a few hundred."</p>
+
+<p>"Not on your life. Never give a
+sucker an even break, Jim. Give
+them anything at all, we acknowledge
+their claim. That'd be stupid."</p>
+
+<p>"Maybe you're right."</p>
+
+<p>"Of course I'm right. It's business.
+Now about those other bids. By
+gad! We can run every contractor in
+town out of competition! They
+can't touch our prices!"</p>
+
+<p>Out on the sidewalk, Bill and Ted
+sat mournfully looking up at the
+vast steel skeleton, held together
+literally by their own genius. Ted
+said, "We got a raw deal."</p>
+
+<p>"Maybe we had it coming. We
+were pretty stupid."</p>
+
+<p>"Anything we can do?"</p>
+
+<p>"Doesn't look like it."</p>
+
+<p>"Maybe the leather solution will
+turn out."</p>
+
+<p>"Maybe." Bill looked wistfully up
+at the steel skeleton. "At even a cent
+a hole, we'd have done all right."</p>
+
+<p>"Let's go home and get to work."</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>In the Mighty and Benevolent
+Kingdom of Szkazia, a minor reign
+of terror existed. The King, tired of
+complaints from his subjects, had
+just finished dressing down his
+Prime Minister. The Prime Minister
+was passing the abuse on to his
+Chief Scientist. "If something isn't
+done soon, I won't be responsible
+for your head, my friend. The King
+is in a rage."</p>
+
+<p>The eyes of the Chief Scientist
+watered&mdash;partly from fear, and
+partly from nights and days spent
+in his laboratory beating out his
+brains on one idea after another.</p>
+
+<p>"I'm doing my best, sire&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"It's not good enough! These
+steel girders coming out of nowhere!
+Banging people in the head&mdash;whacking
+them in the stomach!
+Why it isn't safe to walk through the
+halls of the Administration Building.
+Even the bedrooms of the Executive
+Apartments are not safe! The
+other night the Director of Propaganda
+had just gone to bed&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"I know of the incident," the
+Chief Scientist said hurriedly.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, you do? But you've done
+nothing about&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"I've been working hard," the
+scientist said patiently, "and I think
+I have the solution. Give me another
+day."</p>
+
+<p>"One day, then. After that&mdash;"
+The Prime Minister made a significant
+slicing motion with his finger.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">The</span> Prime Minister chewed his
+fingernails and watched the
+clock. Sleep was out of the question
+with the King calling up every little
+while yelling for action. The
+Minister counted the hours and
+presented himself at the Royal
+Laboratories precisely twenty-four
+hours later. "Time's up," he
+snapped.</p>
+
+<p>The Chief Scientist was wiping
+his face. There were new lines
+around his mouth. He indicated a
+small steel box. "I think I've got it,"
+he said. "Come with me."</p>
+
+<p>They went swiftly to the Administration
+Building. "This should be
+close enough. We depress this lever
+and&mdash;and hope."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, do it&mdash;do it!"</p>
+
+<p>The Chief Scientist pushed the
+lever on the steel box. A whirring
+sound came from within. All the
+steel girder ends in sight&mdash;all the
+nasty little rivets&mdash;disappeared.
+The Chief Scientist smiled and
+wiped his face again. "It worked,"
+he said.</p>
+
+<p>"Excellent. I'll see that you get a
+medal."</p>
+
+<p>"Thank you," the Chief Scientist
+said sadly. That was the trouble
+with people nowadays. They either
+handed you a medal or your head.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Ted</span> and Bill stared sadly at
+the mess around the City Hall.
+Bill said, "It's a good thing it collapsed
+at night so nobody was
+killed, isn't it?"</p>
+
+<p>"You said it. I'd have felt guilty
+if there'd been any casualties."</p>
+
+<p>"What do you suppose went
+wrong?"</p>
+
+<p>"You got me. What do you think
+they'll do to old Blair?"</p>
+
+<p>"I don't know, but it looks pretty
+bad. They refused to let him out on
+bail."</p>
+
+<p>"Serves him right. The way he
+treated us."</p>
+
+<p>"You've got it wrong. He treated
+us swell. He did us a big favor. We
+could have been blamed for this."</p>
+
+<p>Bill thought it over before saying,
+"I guess you're right. I hadn't
+looked at it that way."</p>
+
+<p>"Let's go home and get to work
+on the leather solution."</p>
+
+<p>So they did.</p>
+
+<p class="hd1">THE END</p>
+
+<div class="trn"><div class="figt"><a href="images/002-2.jpg"><img src="images/002-1.jpg" width="137" height="200" alt="" title="" /></a></div>
+
+<p><big><b>Transcriber's Note:</b></big></p>
+
+<p>This etext was produced from <i>If Worlds of Science Fiction</i> September 1952.
+Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S.
+copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and
+typographical errors have been corrected without note.</p></div>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Holes, Incorporated, by L. Major Reynolds
+
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+</body>
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Holes, Incorporated, by L. Major Reynolds
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Holes, Incorporated
+
+Author: L. Major Reynolds
+
+Illustrator: Hi Marx
+
+Release Date: November 13, 2009 [EBook #30468]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HOLES, INCORPORATED ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: _It was getting so a person couldn't sleep nights
+anymore._]
+
+
+    _Would you like to see all hell break loose? Just make a few holes
+    in nothing at all--push some steel beams through the holes--and then
+    head for the hills. But first, read what happened to some people who
+    really did it._
+
+
+        HOLES
+     INCORPORATED
+
+ By L. Major Reynolds
+
+
+The red-headed secretary asked, "Names, please?"
+
+"Ted Baker."
+
+"Bill Stephens."
+
+"To see H. Joshua Blair. We have an appointment."
+
+"It's for three-thirty. We called up two weeks ago."
+
+The secretary said, "Oh, yes. I have you on the list." She checked them
+off, studied them vaguely, asked, "What was it you wanted to see Mr.
+Blair about?"
+
+Ted Baker held out the small steel box he was carrying. "About this."
+
+"Ah--what is it?"
+
+"It's a box."
+
+"I can see that," the redhead snapped. "What is it for? What does it
+do?"
+
+"It's for construction work. It makes holes."
+
+The girl sighed. It was late in the day and she didn't care much,
+really. She snapped an intercom button. An inquiring voice rasped at
+her. She said, "A Mr. Baker and a Mr. Stephens to see you."
+
+Evidently it was all right because she snapped off the button and
+pointed to a door. "In there."
+
+They went in the door and faced a desk large enough to play tennis on.
+The man behind the desk gave them a cordial snarl. "Well, what have you
+got on your mind? And don't take all day to tell me."
+
+Ted extended the box. "This. We'd like to sell it to you."
+
+"What is it? A bomb?"
+
+"No, sir. It makes holes. It makes holes real quick."
+
+Blair scowled at the box. "What the hell do I want of holes?"
+
+Bill Stephens came forward with further explanation. "You see, sir, Ted
+and I are inventors. We make, well--things. We've been working on this
+invention in our basement and it seems to be a success."
+
+"We don't quite know why it's a success," Ted said, "but it is."
+
+"We'd like to demonstrate it for you."
+
+"Well, go ahead and demonstrate."
+
+Ted raised the box and aimed it horizontally at nothing in particular.
+He pressed a black button. There was an odd whirring noise. He took his
+hand off the button and lowered the box.
+
+"What are you waiting for?" Blair growled.
+
+"Nothing. That's it. I've made the hole."
+
+"Are you two crazy? What kind of a fool trick--?"
+
+Ted reached down and took a pencil off the desk. "May I borrow this?"
+Without waiting for permission, he put the pencil carefully into the
+place he'd pointed the box. Half the pencil disappeared. He took his
+hand away. The part of the pencil still in sight didn't come with it. It
+stayed where it was, lying in thin air, horizontally, with no apparent
+support.
+
+H. Joshua Blair goggled and turned three shades whiter. "Wha-wha-what
+the hell!"
+
+"And now, if you'll try to move the pencil, the demonstration will be
+complete."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Like a man in a trance, Blair got up from his desk and grasped the
+pencil. It wouldn't move. He got red in the face and threw all his
+weight on it. It would neither pull nor push. It stayed where it was.
+Finally Blair backed away from the thing. He leaned on his desk and
+panted.
+
+"You see," Ted said, "The hole goes into the fourth dimension. There's
+no other explanation. And the fourth dimension holds solider than
+concrete."
+
+Old Blair's head was spinning, but business instinct came quickly to his
+rescue. "What happens," he asked, "if something in the third dimension
+is in the way?"
+
+"It gets out of the way," Bill said.
+
+Ted demonstrated. He trained the box on the visible remains of the
+pencil. It vanished.
+
+Blair said, "Well, I'll be damned!"
+
+"We figure this will save you a lot of money in construction work," Bill
+said. "You can get along without riveters. You just have a man put holes
+in girders with this and push the rivets through. You also make holes
+for the beam-ends, and your entire building will be anchored in the
+fourth dimension."
+
+"Do it again," Blair said.
+
+Ted made another hole and put another pencil into it. Blair grasped the
+pencil and applied leverage. The pencil snapped at the point it entered
+the next dimension but the broken end of the far piece was not to be
+seen.
+
+Blair asked, "You say you two invented this gadget?"
+
+"That's right," Bill said. "We've got a workshop in my basement. We
+invent in the evenings after we come home from work."
+
+"What do you work at?"
+
+"I read gas meters. He's a clerk in a supermarket."
+
+"I suppose you want money for this thing."
+
+"We'd like to sell it, yes, sir."
+
+"How much do you want for it?"
+
+"Well, we don't know. What's it worth to you?"
+
+"Nothing probably. Leave it here a few days. I'll look it over and let
+you know."
+
+"But--"
+
+"And don't call me--I'll call you."
+
+"But--"
+
+"Leave your address and phone number with my secretary."
+
+After Ted and Bill left, Blair yelled, "Get me Jake Steadman in the
+engineering department!" He didn't bother using the intercom, but his
+secretary heard him anyhow.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Ted and Bill went to work on an idea they had for the treatment of
+leather. You dipped your shoes in a solution and they lasted forever.
+The thing didn't work too well, however. It was full of bugs. They tried
+to eliminate the bugs and once in a while they thought of H. Joshua
+Blair.
+
+"Don't you think it's about time he called us?" Ted asked.
+
+"Don't be so impatient. He's a big man. He owns a big company. It takes
+time."
+
+"He's had over a month."
+
+"Relax. We'll hear from him."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Another week passed, and another, until one evening Ted came galloping
+into the workshop with news. "That big new addition to the City Hall!
+They're working on it! H. Joshua Blair Construction Company. A big sign
+says so!"
+
+"Relax. You'll blow a tube."
+
+"Relax hell! He's using our invention to put up the steel girders. Just
+like we suggested to him. Guys with boxes like ours making holes and
+putting in rivets!"
+
+Bill stopped what he was doing. "He said he'd call us. Maybe he forgot.
+Maybe we better go see him."
+
+They both knocked off work the next day and got to Blair's office at
+nine o'clock. The red-headed secretary said, "You'll have to make an
+appointment."
+
+"Appointment hell!" Ted headed for the inner door. Bill followed him.
+They went into H. Joshua Blair's office to find him in conference with
+two vice-presidents. Ted said, "Mr. Blair, we came--"
+
+"Who in the devil are you?"
+
+"You remember us. Ted Baker and Bill Stephens. We came about our
+invention."
+
+"What invention?"
+
+"Our hole maker. You're using it on the City Hall addition."
+
+Blair glowered. "Where'd you get the idea it was yours? Have you got any
+patents to show?"
+
+"Well, no. We didn't--"
+
+"I did! Fourteen good solid patents. You two better go peddle your
+groceries."
+
+"Now look, Mr. Blair."
+
+Blair raised his voice. "Throw these two bums out!"
+
+Three huskies appeared as by magic to do Blair's bidding. As Ted and
+Bill landed on the sidewalk, one of the vice-presidents said, "Do you
+think that was smart, H. J.? They might cause trouble."
+
+Blair snorted. "They haven't got a prayer. A meter reader and a grocery
+clerk!"
+
+"We could have at least given them a few hundred."
+
+"Not on your life. Never give a sucker an even break, Jim. Give them
+anything at all, we acknowledge their claim. That'd be stupid."
+
+"Maybe you're right."
+
+"Of course I'm right. It's business. Now about those other bids. By gad!
+We can run every contractor in town out of competition! They can't touch
+our prices!"
+
+Out on the sidewalk, Bill and Ted sat mournfully looking up at the vast
+steel skeleton, held together literally by their own genius. Ted said,
+"We got a raw deal."
+
+"Maybe we had it coming. We were pretty stupid."
+
+"Anything we can do?"
+
+"Doesn't look like it."
+
+"Maybe the leather solution will turn out."
+
+"Maybe." Bill looked wistfully up at the steel skeleton. "At even a cent
+a hole, we'd have done all right."
+
+"Let's go home and get to work."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In the Mighty and Benevolent Kingdom of Szkazia, a minor reign of terror
+existed. The King, tired of complaints from his subjects, had just
+finished dressing down his Prime Minister. The Prime Minister was
+passing the abuse on to his Chief Scientist. "If something isn't done
+soon, I won't be responsible for your head, my friend. The King is in a
+rage."
+
+The eyes of the Chief Scientist watered--partly from fear, and partly
+from nights and days spent in his laboratory beating out his brains on
+one idea after another.
+
+"I'm doing my best, sire--"
+
+"It's not good enough! These steel girders coming out of nowhere!
+Banging people in the head--whacking them in the stomach! Why it isn't
+safe to walk through the halls of the Administration Building. Even the
+bedrooms of the Executive Apartments are not safe! The other night the
+Director of Propaganda had just gone to bed--"
+
+"I know of the incident," the Chief Scientist said hurriedly.
+
+"Oh, you do? But you've done nothing about--"
+
+"I've been working hard," the scientist said patiently, "and I think I
+have the solution. Give me another day."
+
+"One day, then. After that--" The Prime Minister made a significant
+slicing motion with his finger.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The Prime Minister chewed his fingernails and watched the clock. Sleep
+was out of the question with the King calling up every little while
+yelling for action. The Minister counted the hours and presented himself
+at the Royal Laboratories precisely twenty-four hours later. "Time's
+up," he snapped.
+
+The Chief Scientist was wiping his face. There were new lines around his
+mouth. He indicated a small steel box. "I think I've got it," he said.
+"Come with me."
+
+They went swiftly to the Administration Building. "This should be close
+enough. We depress this lever and--and hope."
+
+"Well, do it--do it!"
+
+The Chief Scientist pushed the lever on the steel box. A whirring sound
+came from within. All the steel girder ends in sight--all the nasty
+little rivets--disappeared. The Chief Scientist smiled and wiped his
+face again. "It worked," he said.
+
+"Excellent. I'll see that you get a medal."
+
+"Thank you," the Chief Scientist said sadly. That was the trouble with
+people nowadays. They either handed you a medal or your head.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Ted and Bill stared sadly at the mess around the City Hall. Bill said,
+"It's a good thing it collapsed at night so nobody was killed, isn't
+it?"
+
+"You said it. I'd have felt guilty if there'd been any casualties."
+
+"What do you suppose went wrong?"
+
+"You got me. What do you think they'll do to old Blair?"
+
+"I don't know, but it looks pretty bad. They refused to let him out on
+bail."
+
+"Serves him right. The way he treated us."
+
+"You've got it wrong. He treated us swell. He did us a big favor. We
+could have been blamed for this."
+
+Bill thought it over before saying, "I guess you're right. I hadn't
+looked at it that way."
+
+"Let's go home and get to work on the leather solution."
+
+So they did.
+
+
+THE END
+
+
+
+
+Transcriber's Note:
+
+    This etext was produced from _If Worlds of Science Fiction_
+    September 1952. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
+    the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling
+    and typographical errors have been corrected without note.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Holes, Incorporated, by L. Major Reynolds
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