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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Letters Of Mark Twain, Volume 5,
+1901-1906, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Letters Of Mark Twain, Volume 5, 1901-1906
+
+Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+Release Date: August 20, 2016 [EBook #3197]
+Last Updated: February 24, 2018
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TWAIN LETTERS, VOL. 5 ***
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+MARK TWAIN'S LETTERS 1901-1906
+
+VOLUME V.
+
+By Mark Twain
+
+
+ARRANGED WITH COMMENT BY ALBERT BIGELOW PAINE
+
+
+
+
+
+XL. LETTERS OF 1901, CHIEFLY TO TWICHELL. MARK TWAIN AS A REFORMER.
+SUMMER AT SARANAC. ASSASSINATION OF PRESIDENT McKINLEY.
+
+ An editorial in the Louisville Courier-Journal, early in 1901, said:
+ “A remarkable transformation, or rather a development, has taken
+ place in Mark Twain. The genial humorist of the earlier day is now
+ a reformer of the vigorous kind, a sort of knight errant who does
+ not hesitate to break a lance with either Church or State if he
+ thinks them interposing on that broad highway over which he believes
+ not a part but the whole of mankind has the privilege of passing in
+ the onward march of the ages.”
+
+ Mark Twain had begun “breaking the lance” very soon after his return
+ from Europe. He did not believe that he could reform the world, but
+ at least he need not withhold his protest against those things which
+ stirred his wrath. He began by causing the arrest of a cabman who
+ had not only overcharged but insulted him; he continued by writing
+ openly against the American policy in the Philippines, the
+ missionary propaganda which had resulted in the Chinese uprising and
+ massacre, and against Tammany politics. Not all of his efforts were
+ in the line of reform; he had become a sort of general spokesman
+ which the public flocked to hear, whatever the subject. On the
+ occasion of a Lincoln Birthday service at Carnegie Hall he was
+ chosen to preside, and he was obliged to attend more dinners than
+ were good for his health. His letters of this period were mainly
+ written to his old friend Twichell, in Hartford. Howells, who lived
+ in New York, he saw with considerable frequency.
+
+ In the letter which follows the medicine which Twichell was to take
+ was Plasmon, an English proprietary remedy in which Mark Twain had
+ invested--a panacea for all human ills which osteopathy could not
+ reach.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Rev. Joseph Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ 14 W. 10TH ST. Jan. 23, '01.
+
+DEAR JOE,--Certainly. I used to take it in my coffee, but it settled to
+the bottom in the form of mud, and I had to eat it with a spoon; so
+I dropped the custom and took my 2 teaspoonfuls in cold milk after
+breakfast. If we were out of milk I shoveled the dry powder into my
+mouth and washed it down with water. The only essential is to get it
+down, the method is not important.
+
+No, blame it, I can't go to the Alumni dinner, Joe. It takes two days,
+and I can't spare the time. Moreover I preside at the Lincoln birthday
+celebration in Carnegie Hall Feb. 11, and I must not make two speeches
+so close together. Think of it--two old rebels functioning there--I
+as President, and Watterson as Orator of the Day! Things have changed
+somewhat in these 40 years, thank God.
+
+Look here--when you come down you must be our guest--we've got a roomy
+room for you, and Livy will make trouble if you go elsewhere. Come
+straight to 14 West 10th.
+
+Jan. 24. Livy says Amen to that; also, can you give us a day or two's
+notice, so the room will be sure to be vacant?
+
+I'm going to stick close to my desk for a month, now, hoping to write a
+small book.
+
+ Ys Ever
+ MARK
+
+
+ The letter which follows is a fair sample of Mark Twain's private
+ violence on a subject which, in public print, he could only treat
+ effectively by preserving his good humor. When he found it
+ necessary to boil over, as he did, now and then, for relief, he
+ always found a willing audience in Twichell. The mention of his
+ “Private Philosophy” refers to 'What Is Man?', privately published
+ in 1906; reissued by his publishers in 1916.
+
+*****
+
+
+To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ 14 W. 10th Jan. 29, '01.
+
+DEAR JOE,--I'm not expecting anything but kicks for scoffing, and am
+expecting a diminution of my bread and butter by it, but if Livy will
+let me I will have my say. This nation is like all the others that
+have been spewed upon the earth--ready to shout for any cause that will
+tickle its vanity or fill its pocket. What a hell of a heaven it will
+be, when they get all these hypocrites assembled there!
+
+I can't understand it! You are a public guide and teacher, Joe, and are
+under a heavy responsibility to men, young and old; if you teach your
+people--as you teach me--to hide their opinions when they believe the
+flag is being abused and dishonored, lest the utterance do them and a
+publisher a damage, how do you answer for it to your conscience? You
+are sorry for me; in the fair way of give and take, I am willing to be a
+little sorry for you.
+
+However, I seem to be going counter to my own Private Philosophy--which
+Livy won't allow me to publish--because it would destroy me. But I hope
+to see it in print before I die. I planned it 15 years ago, and wrote it
+in '98. I've often tried to read it to Livy, but she won't have it; it
+makes her melancholy. The truth always has that effect on people. Would
+have, anyway, if they ever got hold of a rag of it--Which they don't.
+
+You are supposing that I am supposing that I am moved by a Large
+Patriotism, and that I am distressed because our President has blundered
+up to his neck in the Philippine mess; and that I am grieved because
+this great big ignorant nation, which doesn't know even the A B C
+facts of the Philippine episode, is in disgrace before the sarcastic
+world--drop that idea! I care nothing for the rest--I am only distressed
+and troubled because I am befouled by these things. That is all. When I
+search myself away down deep, I find this out. Whatever a man feels or
+thinks or does, there is never any but one reason for it--and that is a
+selfish one.
+
+At great inconvenience, and expense of precious time I went to the chief
+synagogue the other night and talked in the interest of a charity school
+of poor Jew girls. I know--to the finest, shades--the selfish ends that
+moved me; but no one else suspects. I could give you the details if I
+had time. You would perceive how true they are.
+
+I've written another article; you better hurry down and help Livy
+squelch it.
+
+She's out pottering around somewhere, poor housekeeping slave; and Clara
+is in the hands of the osteopath, getting the bronchitis pulled and
+hauled out of her. It was a bad attack, and a little disquieting. It
+came day before yesterday, and she hasn't sat up till this afternoon.
+She is getting along satisfactorily, now.
+
+ Lots of love to you all.
+ MARK
+
+
+ Mark Twain's religion had to do chiefly with humanity in its present
+ incarnation, and concerned itself very little with any possible
+ measure of reward or punishment in some supposed court of the
+ hereafter. Nevertheless, psychic investigation always interested
+ him, and he was good-naturedly willing to explore, even hoping,
+ perhaps, to be convinced that individuality continues beyond death.
+ The letter which follows indicates his customary attitude in
+ relation to spiritualistic research. The experiments here
+ mentioned, however, were not satisfactory.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Mrs. Charles McQuiston:
+
+ DOBBS FERRY, N. Y.
+ March 26, 1901.
+
+DEAR MRS. McQUISTON,--I have never had an experience which moved me to
+believe the living can communicate with the dead, but my wife and I have
+experimented in the matter when opportunity offered and shall continue
+to do so.
+
+I enclose a letter which came this morning--the second from the same
+source. Mrs. K----is a Missourian, and lately she discovered, by
+accident, that she was a remarkable hypnotiser. Her best subject is a
+Missouri girl, Miss White, who is to come here soon and sustain strictly
+scientific tests before professors at Columbia University. Mrs. Clemens
+and I intend to be present. And we shall ask the pair to come to our
+house to do whatever things they can do. Meantime, if you thought well
+of it, you might write her and arrange a meeting, telling her it is by
+my suggestion and that I gave you her address.
+
+Someone has told me that Mrs. Piper is discredited. I cannot be sure,
+but I think it was Mr. Myers, President of the London Psychical Research
+Society--we heard of his death yesterday. He was a spiritualist. I am
+afraid he was a very easily convinced man. We visited two mediums whom
+he and Andrew Lang considered quite wonderful, but they were quite
+transparent frauds.
+
+Mrs. Clemens corrects me: One of those women was a fraud, the other not
+a fraud, but only an innocent, well-meaning, driveling vacancy.
+
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ In Mark Twain's Bermuda chapters entitled Idle Notes of an Idle
+ Excursion he tells of an old sea captain, one Hurricane Jones, who
+ explained biblical miracles in a practical, even if somewhat
+ startling, fashion. In his story of the prophets of Baal, for
+ instance, the old captain declared that the burning water was
+ nothing more nor less than petroleum. Upon reading the “notes,”
+ Professor Phelps of Yale wrote that the same method of explaining
+ miracles had been offered by Sir Thomas Browne.
+
+ Perhaps it may be added that Captain Hurricane Jones also appears in
+ Roughing It, as Captain Ned Blakely.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Professor William Lyon Phelps;
+
+ YALE UNIVERSITY,
+ NEW YORK, April 24, 1901.
+
+MY DEAR SIR,--I was not aware that old Sir Thomas had anticipated that
+story, and I am much obliged to you for furnishing me the paragraph.
+It is curious that the same idea should leave entered two heads so unlike
+as the head of that wise old philosopher and that of Captain Ned
+Wakeman, a splendidly uncultured old sailor, but in his own opinion a
+thinker by divine right. He was an old friend of mine of many years'
+standing; I made two or three voyages with him, and found him a darling
+in many ways. The petroleum story was not told to me; he told it to Joe
+Twichell, who ran across him by accident on a sea voyage where I think
+the two were the only passengers. A delicious pair, and admirably mated,
+they took to each other at once and became as thick as thieves. Joe was
+passing under a fictitious name, and old Wakeman didn't suspect that he
+was a parson; so he gave his profanity full swing, and he was a master
+of that great art. You probably know Twichell, and will know that that
+is a kind of refreshment which he is very capable of enjoying.
+
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ For the summer Clemens and his family found a comfortable lodge in
+ the Adirondacks--a log cabin called “The Lair”--on Saranac Lake.
+ Soon after his arrival there he received an invitation to attend the
+ celebration of Missouri's eightieth anniversary. He sent the
+ following letter:
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Edward L. Dimmitt, in St. Louis:
+
+ AMONG THE ADIRONDACK LAKES, July 19, 1901.
+
+DEAR MR. DIMMITT,--By an error in the plans, things go wrong end first
+in this world, and much precious time is lost and matters of urgent
+importance are fatally retarded. Invitations which a brisk young fellow
+should get, and which would transport him with joy, are delayed and
+impeded and obstructed until they are fifty years overdue when they
+reach him.
+
+It has happened again in this case.
+
+When I was a boy in Missouri I was always on the lookout for invitations
+but they always miscarried and went wandering through the aisles of
+time; and now they are arriving when I am old and rheumatic and can't
+travel and must lose my chance.
+
+I have lost a world of delight through this matter of delaying
+invitations. Fifty years ago I would have gone eagerly across the world
+to help celebrate anything that might turn up. IT would have made no
+difference to me what it was, so that I was there and allowed a chance
+to make a noise.
+
+The whole scheme of things is turned wrong end to. Life should begin
+with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and
+its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages. As things are now,
+when in youth a dollar would bring a hundred pleasures, you can't have
+it. When you are old, you get it and there is nothing worth buying with
+it then.
+
+It's an epitome of life. The first half of it consists of the capacity
+to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance
+without the capacity.
+
+I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I
+am approaching the threshold of age; in 1977 I shall be 142. This is no
+time to be flitting about the earth. I must cease from the activities
+proper to youth and begin to take on the dignities and gravities and
+inertia proper to that season of honorable senility which is on its way
+and imminent as indicated above.
+
+Yours is a great and memorable occasion, and as a son of Missouri I
+should hold it a high privilege to be there and share your just pride in
+the state's achievements; but I must deny myself the indulgence, while
+thanking you earnestly for the prized honor you have done me in asking
+me to be present.
+
+ Very truly yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ In the foregoing Mark Twain touches upon one of his favorite
+ fancies: that life should begin with old age and approach strong
+ manhood, golden youth, to end at last with pampered and beloved
+ babyhood. Possibly he contemplated writing a story with this idea
+ as the theme, but He seems never to have done so.
+
+ The reader who has followed these letters may remember Yung Wing,
+ who had charge of the Chinese educational mission in Hartford, and
+ how Mark Twain, with Twichell, called on General Grant in behalf of
+ the mission. Yung Wing, now returned to China, had conceived the
+ idea of making an appeal to the Government of the United States for
+ relief of his starving countrymen.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ AMPERSAND, N. Y., July 28, '01.
+
+DEAR JOE,--As you say, it is impracticable--in my case, certainly. For
+me to assist in an appeal to that Congress of land-thieves and liars
+would be to bring derision upon it; and for me to assist in an appeal
+for cash to pass through the hands of those missionaries out there,
+of any denomination, Catholic or Protestant, wouldn't do at all. They
+wouldn't handle money which I had soiled, and I wouldn't trust them
+with it, anyway. They would devote it to the relief of suffering--I
+know that--but the sufferers selected would be converts. The
+missionary-utterances exhibit no humane feeling toward the others, but
+in place of it a spirit of hate and hostility. And it is natural;
+the Bible forbids their presence there, their trade is unlawful, why
+shouldn't their characters be of necessity in harmony with--but never
+mind, let it go, it irritates me.
+
+Later.... I have been reading Yung Wing's letter again. It may be that
+he is over-wrought by his sympathies, but it may not be so. There may
+be other reasons why the missionaries are silent about the Shensi-2-year
+famine and cannibalism. It may be that there are so few Protestant
+converts there that the missionaries are able to take care of them.
+That they are not likely to largely concern themselves about Catholic
+converts and the others, is quite natural, I think.
+
+That crude way of appealing to this Government for help in a cause which
+has no money in it, and no politics, rises before me again in all its
+admirable innocence! Doesn't Yung Wing know us yet? However, he has
+been absent since '96 or '97. We have gone to hell since then. Kossuth
+couldn't raise 30 cents in Congress, now, if he were back with his
+moving Magyar-Tale.
+
+I am on the front porch (lower one--main deck) of our little bijou of a
+dwelling-house. The lake-edge (Lower Saranac) is so nearly under me
+that I can't see the shore, but only the water, small-pored with
+rain-splashes--for there is a heavy down-pour. It is charmingly like
+sitting snuggled up on a ship's deck with the stretching sea all
+around--but very much more satisfactory, for at sea a rain-storm is
+depressing, while here of course the effect engendered is just a deep
+sense of comfort and contentment. The heavy forest shuts us solidly
+in on three sides there are no neighbors. There are beautiful little
+tan-colored impudent squirrels about. They take tea, 5 p. m., (not
+invited) at the table in the woods where Jean does my typewriting, and
+one of them has been brave enough to sit upon Jean's knee with his tail
+curved over his back and munch his food. They come to dinner, 7 p.
+m., on the front porch (not invited). They all have the one
+name--Blennerhasset, from Burr's friend--and none of them answers to it
+except when hungry.
+
+We have been here since June 21st. For a little while we had some warm
+days--according to the family's estimate; I was hardly discommoded
+myself. Otherwise the weather has been of the sort you are familiar with
+in these regions: cool days and cool nights. We have heard of the hot
+wave every Wednesday, per the weekly paper--we allow no dailies to
+intrude. Last week through visitors also--the only ones we have had--Dr.
+Root and John Howells.
+
+We have the daily lake-swim; and all the tribe, servants included (but
+not I) do a good deal of boating; sometimes with the guide, sometimes
+without him--Jean and Clara are competent with the oars. If we live
+another year, I hope we shall spend its summer in this house.
+
+We have taken the Appleton country seat, overlooking the Hudson, at
+Riverdale, 25 minutes from the Grand Central Station, for a year,
+beginning Oct. 1, with option for another year. We are obliged to be
+close to New York for a year or two.
+
+Aug. 3rd. I go yachting a fortnight up north in a 20-knot boat 225 feet
+long, with the owner, (Mr. Rogers), Tom Reid, Dr. Rice, Col. A. G. Paine
+and one or two others. Judge Howland would go, but can't get away
+from engagements; Professor Sloane would go, but is in the grip of an
+illness. Come--will you go? If you can manage it, drop a post-card to
+me c/o H.H. Rogers, 26 Broadway. I shall be in New York a couple of days
+before we sail--July 31 or Aug. 1, perhaps the latter,--and I think I
+shall stop at the Hotel Grosvenor, cor. 10th St and 5th ave.
+
+We all send you and the Harmonies lots and gobs of love.
+
+ MARK
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ AMPERSAND, N. Y., Aug. 28.
+
+DEAR JOE,--Just a word, to scoff at you, with your extravagant
+suggestion that I read the biography of Phillips Brooks--the very
+dullest book that has been printed for a century. Joe, ten pages of
+Mrs. Cheney's masterly biography of her fathers--no, five pages of
+it--contain more meat, more sense, more literature, more brilliancy,
+than that whole basketful of drowsy rubbish put together. Why, in that
+dead atmosphere even Brooks himself is dull--he wearied me; oh how he
+wearied me!
+
+We had a noble good time in the Yacht, and caught a Chinese missionary
+and drowned him.
+
+ Love from us all to you all.
+ MARK.
+
+
+ The assassination of President McKinley occurred September 6, 1901.
+ Such an event would naturally stir Mark Twain to comment on human
+ nature in general. His letter to Twichell is as individual as it is
+ sound in philosophy. At what period of his own life, or under what
+ circumstances, he made the long journey with tragic intent there is
+ no means of knowing now. There is no other mention of it elsewhere
+ in the records that survive him.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ AMPERSAND, Tuesday, (Sept. 10, 1901)
+
+DEAR JOE,--It is another off day, but tomorrow I shall resume work to a
+certainty, and bid a long farewell to letter-scribbling.
+
+The news of the President looks decidedly hopeful, and we are all glad,
+and the household faces are much improved, as to cheerfulness. Oh, the
+talk in the newspapers! Evidently the Human Race is the same old Human
+Race. And how unjust, and unreflectingly discriminating, the talkers
+are. Under the unsettling effects of powerful emotion the talkers are
+saying wild things, crazy things--they are out of themselves, and do not
+know it; they are temporarily insane, yet with one voice they
+declare the assassin sane--a man who has been entertaining fiery and
+reason--debauching maggots in his head for weeks and months. Why, no one
+is sane, straight along, year in and year out, and we all know it.
+Our insanities are of varying sorts, and express themselves in varying
+forms--fortunately harmless forms as a rule--but in whatever form
+they occur an immense upheaval of feeling can at any time topple us
+distinctly over the sanity-line for a little while; and then if our form
+happens to be of the murderous kind we must look out--and so must the
+spectator.
+
+This ass with the unpronounceable name was probably more insane than
+usual this week or two back, and may get back upon his bearings by and
+by, but he was over the sanity-border when he shot the President. It is
+possible that it has taken him the whole interval since the murder of
+the King of Italy to get insane enough to attempt the President's life.
+Without a doubt some thousands of men have been meditating the same act
+in the same interval, but new and strong interests have intervened and
+diverted their over-excited minds long enough to give them a chance to
+settle, and tranquilize, and get back upon a healthy level again. Every
+extraordinary occurrence unsettles the heads of hundreds of thousands
+of men for a few moments or hours or days. If there had been ten kings
+around when Humbert fell they would have been in great peril for a day
+or more--and from men in whose presence they would have been quite safe
+after the excess of their excitement had had an interval in which to
+cool down. I bought a revolver once and travelled twelve hundred miles
+to kill a man. He was away. He was gone a day. With nothing else to do,
+I had to stop and think--and did. Within an hour--within half of it--I
+was ashamed of myself--and felt unspeakably ridiculous. I do not know
+what to call it if I was not insane. During a whole week my head was in
+a turmoil night and day fierce enough and exhausting enough to upset a
+stronger reason than mine.
+
+All over the world, every day, there are some millions of men in
+that condition temporarily. And in that time there is always a
+moment--perhaps only a single one when they would do murder if their man
+was at hand. If the opportunity comes a shade too late, the chances are
+that it has come permanently too late. Opportunity seldom comes
+exactly at the supreme moment. This saves a million lives a day in the
+world--for sure.
+
+No Ruler is ever slain but the tremendous details of it are ravenously
+devoured by a hundred thousand men whose minds dwell, unaware, near the
+temporary-insanity frontier--and over they go, now! There is a day--two
+days--three--during which no Ruler would be safe from perhaps the half
+of them; and there is a single moment wherein he would not be safe from
+any of them, no doubt.
+
+It may take this present shooting-case six months to breed another
+ruler-tragedy, but it will breed it. There is at least one mind
+somewhere which will brood, and wear, and decay itself to the
+killing-point and produce that tragedy.
+
+Every negro burned at the stake unsettles the excitable brain of
+another one--I mean the inflaming details of his crime, and the lurid
+theatricality of his exit do it--and the duplicate crime follows; and
+that begets a repetition, and that one another one and so on. Every
+lynching-account unsettles the brains of another set of excitable white
+men, and lights another pyre--115 lynchings last year, 102 inside of 8
+months this year; in ten years this will be habit, on these terms.
+
+Yes, the wild talk you see in the papers! And from men who are sane when
+not upset by overwhelming excitement. A U. S. Senator-Cullom--wants this
+Buffalo criminal lynched! It would breed other lynchings--of men who are
+not dreaming of committing murders, now, and will commit none if Cullom
+will keep quiet and not provide the exciting cause.
+
+And a District Attorney wants a law which shall punish with death
+attempts upon a President's life--this, mind you, as a deterrent. It
+would have no effect--or the opposite one. The lunatic's mind-space is
+all occupied--as mine was--with the matter in hand; there is no room
+in it for reflections upon what may happen to him. That comes after the
+crime.
+
+It is the noise the attempt would make in the world that would breed the
+subsequent attempts, by unsettling the rickety minds of men who envy
+the criminal his vast notoriety--his obscure name tongued by stupendous
+Kings and Emperors--his picture printed everywhere, the trivialest
+details of his movements, what he eats, what he drinks; how he sleeps,
+what he says, cabled abroad over the whole globe at cost of fifty
+thousand dollars a day--and he only a lowly shoemaker yesterday!--like
+the assassin of the President of France--in debt three francs to his
+landlady, and insulted by her--and to-day she is proud to be able to say
+she knew him “as familiarly as you know your own brother,” and glad to
+stand till she drops and pour out columns and pages of her grandeur and
+her happiness upon the eager interviewer.
+
+Nothing will check the lynchings and ruler-murder but absolute
+silence--the absence of pow-pow about them. How are you going to manage
+that? By gagging every witness and jamming him into a dungeon for life;
+by abolishing all newspapers; by exterminating all newspaper men; and by
+extinguishing God's most elegant invention, the Human Race. It is quite
+simple, quite easy, and I hope you will take a day off and attend to it,
+Joe. I blow a kiss to you, and am
+
+ Lovingly Yours,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ When the Adirondack summer ended Clemens settled for the winter in
+ the beautiful Appleton home at Riverdale-on-the-Hudson. It was a
+ place of wide-spreading grass and shade-a house of ample room. They
+ were established in it in time for Mark Twain to take an active
+ interest in the New York elections and assist a ticket for good
+ government to defeat Tammany Hall.
+
+
+
+
+XLI. LETTERS OF 1902. RIVERDALE. YORK HARBOR. ILLNESS OF MRS. CLEMENS
+
+The year 1902 was an eventful one for Mark Twain. In April he received
+a degree of LL.D. from the University of Missouri and returned to his
+native State to accept it. This was his last journey to the Mississippi
+River. During the summer Mrs. Clemens's health broke down and illnesses
+of one sort or another visited other members of the family. Amid so much
+stress and anxiety Clemens had little time or inclination for work.
+He wrote not many letters and mainly somber ones. Once, by way
+of diversion, he worked out the idea of a curious club--which he
+formed--its members to be young girls--girls for the most part whom he
+had never seen. They were elected without their consent from among those
+who wrote to him without his consent, and it is not likely that any one
+so chosen declined membership. One selection from his letters to the
+French member, Miss Helene Picard, of St.-Die, France, will explain the
+club and present a side of Mask Twain somewhat different from that found
+in most of his correspondence.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Miss Picard, in St.-Die, France:
+
+ RIVERDALE-ON-THE-HUDSON, February 22, 1902.
+
+DEAR MISS HELENE,--If you will let me call you so, considering that my
+head is white and that I have grownup daughters. Your beautiful letter
+has given me such deep pleasure! I will make bold to claim you for a
+friend and lock you up with the rest of my riches; for I am a miser who
+counts his spoil every day and hoards it secretly and adds to it when he
+can, and is grateful to see it grow.
+
+Some of that gold comes, like yourself, in a sealed package, and I can't
+see it and may never have the happiness; but I know its value without
+that, and by what sum it increases my wealth.
+
+I have a Club, a private Club, which is all my own. I appoint the
+Members myself, and they can't help themselves, because I don't allow
+them to vote on their own appointment and I don't allow them to resign!
+They are all friends whom I have never seen (save one), but who have
+written friendly letters to me.
+
+By the laws of my Club there can be only one Member in each country, and
+there can be no male Member but myself. Some day I may admit males,
+but I don't know--they are capricious and inharmonious, and their ways
+provoke me a good deal. It is a matter which the Club shall decide.
+
+I have made four appointments in the past three or four months: You
+as Member for France, a young Highland girl as Member for Scotland, a
+Mohammedan girl as Member for Bengal, and a dear and bright young
+niece of mine as Member for the United States--for I do not represent a
+country myself, but am merely Member at Large for the Human Race.
+
+You must not try to resign, for the laws of the Club do not allow that.
+You must console yourself by remembering that you are in the best of
+company; that nobody knows of your membership except myself--that no
+Member knows another's name, but only her country; that no taxes are
+levied and no meetings held (but how dearly I should like to attend
+one!).
+
+One of my Members is a Princess of a royal house, another is the
+daughter of a village book-seller on the continent of Europe. For the
+only qualification for Membership is intellect and the spirit of good
+will; other distinctions, hereditary or acquired, do not count.
+
+May I send you the Constitution and Laws of the Club? I shall be so
+pleased if I may. It is a document which one of my daughters typewrites
+for me when I need one for a new Member, and she would give her eyebrows
+to know what it is all about, but I strangle her curiosity by saying:
+“There are much cheaper typewriters than you are, my dear, and if
+you try to pry into the sacred mysteries of this Club one of your
+prosperities will perish sure.”
+
+My favorite? It is “Joan of Arc.” My next is “Huckleberry Finn,” but the
+family's next is “The Prince and the Pauper.” (Yes, you are right--I
+am a moralist in disguise; it gets me into heaps of trouble when I go
+thrashing around in political questions.)
+
+I wish you every good fortune and happiness and I thank you so much for
+your letter.
+
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ Early in the year Clemens paid a visit to Twichell in Hartford, and
+ after one of their regular arguments on theology and the moral
+ accountability of the human race, arguments that had been going on
+ between them for more than thirty years--Twichell lent his visitor
+ Freedom of the Will, by Jonathan Edwards, to read on the way home.
+ The next letter was the result.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ RIVERDALE-ON-THE-HUDSON.
+ Feb. '02.
+
+DEAR JOE,--“After compliments.”--[Meaning “What a good time you gave
+me; what a happiness it was to be under your roof again; etc., etc.”
+ See opening sentence of all translations of letters passing between Lord
+Roberts and Indian princes and rulers.]--From Bridgeport to New York;
+thence to home; and continuously until near midnight I wallowed and
+reeked with Jonathan in his insane debauch; rose immediately refreshed
+and fine at 10 this morning, but with a strange and haunting sense of
+having been on a three days' tear with a drunken lunatic. It is years
+since I have known these sensations. All through the book is the glaze
+of a resplendent intellect gone mad--a marvelous spectacle. No, not all
+through the book--the drunk does not come on till the last third, where
+what I take to be Calvinism and its God begins to show up and shine red
+and hideous in the glow from the fires of hell, their only right and
+proper adornment. By God I was ashamed to be in such company.
+
+Jonathan seems to hold (as against the Arminian position) that the Man
+(or his Soul or his Will) never creates an impulse itself, but is moved
+to action by an impulse back of it. That's sound!
+
+Also, that of two or more things offered it, it infallibly chooses the
+one which for the moment is most pleasing to ITSELF. Perfectly correct!
+An immense admission for a man not otherwise sane.
+
+Up to that point he could have written chapters III and IV of my
+suppressed “Gospel.” But there we seem to separate. He seems to concede
+the indisputable and unshakable dominion of Motive and Necessity (call
+them what he may, these are exterior forces and not under the man's
+authority, guidance or even suggestion)--then he suddenly flies the
+logic track and (to all seeming) makes the man and not these exterior
+forces responsible to God for the man's thoughts, words and acts. It is
+frank insanity.
+
+I think that when he concedes the autocratic dominion of Motive and
+Necessity he grants, a third position of mine--that a man's mind is a
+mere machine--an automatic machine--which is handled entirely from the
+outside, the man himself furnishing it absolutely nothing: not an ounce
+of its fuel, and not so much as a bare suggestion to that exterior
+engineer as to what the machine shall do, nor how it shall do it nor
+when.
+
+After that concession, it was time for him to get alarmed and shirk--for
+he was pointing straight for the only rational and possible next-station
+on that piece of road the irresponsibility of man to God.
+
+And so he shirked. Shirked, and arrived at this handsome result:
+
+Man is commanded to do so-and-so. It has been ordained from the
+beginning of time that some men shan't and others can't.
+
+These are to be blamed: let them be damned.
+
+I enjoy the Colonel very much, and shall enjoy the rest of him with an
+obscene delight.
+
+ Joe, the whole tribe shout love to you and yours!
+ MARK.
+
+
+ We have not heard of Joe Goodman since the trying days of '90 and
+ '91, when he was seeking to promote the fortunes of the type-setting
+ machine. Goodman, meantime, who had in turn been miner, printer,
+ publisher, and farmer; had been devoting his energies and genius to
+ something entirely new: he had been translating the prehistoric
+ Mayan inscriptions of Yucatan, and with such success that his work
+ was elaborately published by an association of British scientists.
+ In due time a copy of this publication came to Clemens, who was full
+ of admiration of the great achievement.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To J. T. Goodman, in California:
+
+ RIVERDALE-ON-THE-HUDSON,
+ June 13, '02.
+
+DEAR JOE,--I am lost in reverence and admiration! It is now twenty-four
+hours that I have been trying to cool down and contemplate with quiet
+blood this extraordinary spectacle of energy, industry, perseverance,
+pluck, analytical genius, penetration, this irruption of thunders
+and fiery splendors from a fair and flowery mountain that nobody had
+supposed was a sleeping volcano, but I seem to be as excited as ever.
+Yesterday I read as much as half of the book, not understanding a word
+but enchanted nevertheless--partly by the wonder of it all, the study,
+the erudition, the incredible labor, the modesty, the dignity, the
+majestic exclusiveness of the field and its lofty remoteness from things
+and contacts sordid and mean and earthy, and partly by the grace and
+beauty and limpidity of the book's unsurpassable English. Science,
+always great and worshipful, goes often in hodden grey, but you have
+clothed her in garments meet for her high degree.
+
+You think you get “poor pay” for your twenty years? No, oh no. You have
+lived in a paradise of the intellect whose lightest joys were beyond
+the reach of the longest purse in Christendom, you have had daily and
+nightly emancipation from the world's slaveries and gross interests, you
+have received a bigger wage than any man in the land, you have dreamed a
+splendid dream and had it come true, and to-day you could not afford
+to trade fortunes with anybody--not even with another scientist, for he
+must divide his spoil with his guild, whereas essentially the world you
+have discovered is your own and must remain so.
+
+It is all just magnificent, Joe! And no one is prouder or gladder than
+
+ Yours always
+ MARK.
+
+
+ At York Harbor, Maine, where they had taken a cottage for the
+ summer--a pretty place, with Howells not far distant, at Kittery
+ Point--Mrs. Clemens's health gave way. This was at a period when
+ telegraphic communication was far from reliable. The old-time
+ Western Union had fallen from grace; its “system” no longer
+ justified the best significance of that word. The new day of
+ reorganization was coming, and it was time for it. Mark Twain's
+ letter concerning the service at York Harbor would hardly be
+ warranted today, but those who remember conditions of that earlier
+ time will agree that it was justified then, and will appreciate its
+ satire.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To the President of The Western Union, in New York:
+
+ “THE PINES”
+ YORK HARBOR, MAINE.
+
+DEAR SIR,--I desire to make a complaint, and I bring it to you, the head
+of the company, because by experience I know better than to carry it to
+a subordinate.
+
+I have been here a month and a half, and by testimony of friends,
+reinforced by personal experience I now feel qualified to claim as an
+established fact that the telegraphic service here is the worst in the
+world except that Boston.
+
+These services are actually slower than was the New York and Hartford
+service in the days when I last complained to you--which was fifteen
+or eighteen years ago, when telegraphic time and train time between the
+mentioned points was exactly the same, to-wit, three hours and a half.
+Six days ago--it was that raw day which provoked so much comment--my
+daughter was on her way up from New York, and at noon she telegraphed
+me from New Haven asking that I meet her with a cloak at Portsmouth. Her
+telegram reached me four hours and a quarter later--just 15 minutes too
+late for me to catch my train and meet her.
+
+I judge that the telegram traveled about 200 miles. It is the best
+telegraphic work I have seen since I have been here, and I am mentioning
+it in this place not as a complaint but as a compliment. I think a
+compliment ought always to precede a complaint, where one is possible,
+because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous
+and gentle reception.
+
+Still, there is a detail or two connected with this matter which ought
+perhaps to be mentioned. And now, having smoothed the way with the
+compliment, I will venture them. The head corpse in the York Harbor
+office sent me that telegram altho (1) he knew it would reach me too
+late to be of any value; (2) also, that he was going to send it to me
+by his boy; (3) that the boy would not take the trolley and come the 2
+miles in 12 minutes, but would walk; (4) that he would be two hours
+and a quarter on the road; (5) and that he would collect 25 cents for
+transportation, for a telegram which the he knew to be worthless before
+he started it. From these data I infer that the Western Union owes me
+75 cents; that is to say, the amount paid for combined wire and land
+transportation--a recoup provided for in the printed paragraph which
+heads the telegraph-blank.
+
+By these humane and Christian stages we now arrive at the complaint
+proper. We have had a grave case of illness in the family, and a
+relative was coming some six hundred miles to help in the sick-room
+during the convalescing period. It was an anxious time, of course, and I
+wrote and asked to be notified as to the hour of the expected arrival
+of this relative in Boston or in York Harbor. Being afraid of the
+telegraph--which I think ought not to be used in times of hurry and
+emergency--I asked that the desired message be brought to me by some
+swift method of transportation. By the milkman, if he was coming this
+way. But there are always people who think they know more than you do,
+especially young people; so of course the young fellow in charge of
+this lady used the telegraph. And at Boston, of all places! Except York
+Harbor.
+
+The result was as usual; let me employ a statelier and exacter term, and
+say, historical.
+
+The dispatch was handed to the h. c. of the Boston office at 9 this
+morning. It said, “Shall bring A. S. to you eleven forty-five this
+morning.” The distance traveled by the dispatch is forty or fifty miles,
+I suppose, as the train-time is five minutes short of two hours, and the
+trains are so slow that they can't give a W. U. telegram two hours and
+twenty minutes start and overtake it.
+
+As I have said, the dispatch was handed in at Boston at 9. The expected
+visitors left Boston at 9.40, and reached my house at 12 noon, beating
+the telegram 2 solid hours, and 5 minutes over.
+
+The boy brought the telegram. It was bald-headed with age, but still
+legible. The boy was prostrate with travel and exposure, but still
+alive, and I went out to condole with him and get his last wishes and
+send for the ambulance. He was waiting to collect transportation
+before turning his passing spirit to less serious affairs. I found him
+strangely intelligent, considering his condition and where he is getting
+his training. I asked him at what hour the telegram was handed to the h.
+c. in Boston. He answered brightly, that he didn't know.
+
+I examined the blank, and sure enough the wary Boston h. c. had
+thoughtfully concealed that statistic. I asked him at what hour it had
+started from Boston. He answered up as brightly as ever, and said he
+didn't know.
+
+I examined the blank, and sure enough the Boston h. c. had left that
+statistic out in the cold, too. In fact it turned out to be an official
+concealment--no blank was provided for its exposure. And none required
+by the law, I suppose. “It is a good one-sided idea,” I remarked;
+“They can take your money and ship your telegram next year if they want
+to--you've no redress. The law ought to extend the privilege to all of
+us.”
+
+The boy looked upon me coldly.
+
+I asked him when the telegram reached York Harbor. He pointed to some
+figures following the signature at the bottom of the blank--“12.14.” I
+said it was now 1.45 and asked--
+
+“Do you mean that it reached your morgue an hour and a half ago?”
+
+He nodded assent.
+
+“It was at that time half an hour too late to be of any use to me, if I
+wanted to go and meet my people--which was the case--for by the wording
+of the message you can see that they were to arrive at the station at
+11.45. Why did, your h. c. send me this useless message? Can't he read?
+Is he dead?”
+
+“It's the rules.”
+
+“No, that does not account for it. Would he have sent it if it had been
+three years old, I in the meantime deceased, and he aware of it?”
+
+The boy didn't know.
+
+“Because, you know, a rule which required him to forward to the cemetery
+to-day a dispatch due three years ago, would be as good a rule as one
+which should require him to forward a telegram to me to-day which he
+knew had lost all its value an hour or two before he started it.
+The construction of such a rule would discredit an idiot; in fact an
+idiot--I mean a common ordinary Christian idiot, you understand--would
+be ashamed of it, and for the sake of his reputation wouldn't make it.
+What do you think?”
+
+He replied with much natural brilliancy that he wasn't paid for
+thinking.
+
+This gave me a better opinion of the commercial intelligence pervading
+his morgue than I had had before; it also softened my feelings toward
+him, and also my tone, which had hitherto been tinged with bitterness.
+
+“Let bygones be bygones,” I said, gently, “we are all erring creatures,
+and mainly idiots, but God made us so and it is dangerous to criticise.”
+
+ Sincerely
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ One day there arrived from Europe a caller with a letter of
+ introduction from Elizabeth, Queen of Rumania, better known as
+ Carmen Sylva. The visitor was Madam Hartwig, formerly an American
+ girl, returning now, because of reduced fortunes, to find profitable
+ employment in her own land. Her husband, a man of high principle,
+ had declined to take part in an “affair of honor,” as recognized by
+ the Continental code; hence his ruin. Elizabeth of Rumania was one
+ of the most loved and respected of European queens and an author of
+ distinction. Mark Twain had known her in Vienna. Her letter to him
+ and his own letter to the public (perhaps a second one, for its date
+ is two years later) follow herewith.
+
+
+ From Carmen Sylva to Mark Twain:
+
+ BUCAREST, May 9, 1902.
+
+HONORED MASTER,--If I venture to address you on behalf of a poor lady,
+who is stranded in Bucarest I hope not to be too disagreeable.
+
+Mrs. Hartwig left America at the age of fourteen in order to learn to
+sing which she has done thoroughly. Her husband had quite a brilliant
+situation here till he refused to partake 'dans une afaire onereuse',
+so it seems. They haven't a penny and each of them must try to find a
+living. She is very nice and pleasant and her school is so good that she
+most certainly can give excellent singing lessons.
+
+I beg your pardon for being a bore to one I so deeply love and admire,
+to whom I owe days and days of forgetfulness of self and troubles and
+the intensest of all joys: Hero-worship! People don't always realize
+what a happiness that is! God bless you for every beautiful thought you
+poured into my tired heart and for every smile on a weary way!
+
+ CARMEN SYLVA.
+
+
+ From Mark Twain to the Public:
+
+ Nov. 16, '04.
+
+TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,--I desire to recommend Madame Hartwig to
+my friends and the public as a teacher of singing and as a
+concert-vocalist. She has lived for fifteen years at the court of
+Roumania, and she brought with her to America an autograph letter in
+which her Majesty the Queen of Roumania cordially certified her to me
+as being an accomplished and gifted singer and teacher of singing, and
+expressed a warm hope that her professional venture among us would meet
+with success; through absence in Europe I have had no opportunity
+to test the validity of the Queen's judgment in the matter, but that
+judgment is the utterance of an entirely competent authority--the best
+that occupies a throne, and as good as any that sits elsewhere, as the
+musical world well knows--and therefore back it without hesitation, and
+endorse it with confidence.
+
+I will explain that the reason her Majesty tried to do her friend a
+friendly office through me instead of through someone else was, not that
+I was particularly the right or best person for the office, but because
+I was not a stranger. It is true that I am a stranger to some of the
+monarchs--mainly through their neglect of their opportunities--but
+such is not the case in the present instance. The latter fact is a high
+compliment to me, and perhaps I ought to conceal it. Some people would.
+
+ MARK TWAIN.
+
+
+
+
+ Mrs. Clemens's improvement was scarcely perceptible. It was not
+ until October that they were able to remove her to Riverdale, and
+ then only in a specially arranged invalid-car. At the end of the
+ long journey she was carried to her room and did not leave it again
+ for many months.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ RIVERDALE, N. Y., Oct. 31, '02.
+
+DEAR JOE,--It is ten days since Susy [Twichell] wrote that you were laid
+up with a sprained shoulder, since which time we have had no news about
+it. I hope that no news is good news, according to the proverb; still,
+authoritative confirmation of it will be gladly received in this family,
+if some of you will furnish it. Moreover, I should like to know how and
+where it happened. In the pulpit, as like as not, otherwise you would
+not be taking so much pains to conceal it. This is not a malicious
+suggestion, and not a personally-invented one: you told me yourself,
+once, that you threw artificial power and impressiveness into places in
+your sermons where needed, by “banging the bible”--(your own words.) You
+have reached a time of life when it is not wise to take these risks.
+You would better jump around. We all have to change our methods as the
+infirmities of age creep upon us. Jumping around will be impressive now,
+whereas before you were gray it would have excited remark.
+
+Poor Livy drags along drearily. It must be hard times for that turbulent
+spirit. It will be a long time before she is on her feet again. It is
+a most pathetic case. I wish I could transfer it to myself. Between
+ripping and raging and smoking and reading, I could get a good deal of a
+holiday out of it.
+
+Clara runs the house smoothly and capably. She is discharging a
+trial-cook today and hiring another.
+
+ A power of love to you all!
+ MARK.
+
+
+ Such was the state of Mrs. Clemens's health that visitors
+ were excluded from the sick room, and even Clemens himself
+ was allowed to see her no more than a few moments at a time.
+ These brief, precious visits were the chief interests of his
+ long days. Occasionally he was allowed to send her a few
+ lines, reporting his occupations, and these she was
+ sometimes permitted to answer. Only one of his notes has
+ been preserved, written after a day, now rare, of literary
+ effort. Its signature, the letter Y, stands for “Youth,”
+ always her name for him.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Mrs. Clemens:
+
+
+DEAR HEART,--I've done another full day's work, and finished before 4. I
+have been reading and dozing since and would have had a real sleep a
+few minutes ago but for an incursion to bring me a couple of unimportant
+letters. I've stuck to the bed all day and am getting back my lost
+ground. Next time I will be strictly careful and make my visit very
+short--just a kiss and a rush. Thank you for your dear, dear note; you
+who are my own and only sweetheart.
+
+ Sleep well!
+ Y.
+
+
+
+
+XLII. LETTERS OF 1903. TO VARIOUS PERSONS. HARD DAYS AT RIVERDALE. LAST
+SUMMER AT ELMIRA. THE RETURN TO ITALY.
+
+ The reader may perhaps recall that H. H. Rogers, some five
+ or six years earlier, had taken charge of the fortunes of
+ Helen Keller, making it possible for her to complete her
+ education. Helen had now written her first book--a
+ wonderful book--'The Story of My Life', and it had been
+ successfully published. For a later generation it may be
+ proper to explain that the Miss Sullivan, later Mrs. Macy,
+ mentioned in the letter which follows, was the noble woman
+ who had devoted her life to the enlightenment of this blind,
+ dumb girl--had made it possible for her to speak and
+ understand, and, indeed, to see with the eyes of luminous
+ imagination.
+
+ The case of plagiarism mentioned in this letter is not now
+ remembered, and does not matter, but it furnished a text for
+ Mark Twain, whose remarks on the subject in general are
+ eminently worth while.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Helen Keller, in Wrentham, Mass.:
+
+ RIVERDALE-ON-THE-HUDSON,
+ ST. PATRICK'S DAY, '03.
+
+DEAR HELEN,--I must steal half a moment from my work to say how glad I
+am to have your book, and how highly I value it, both for its own sake
+and as a remembrances of an affectionate friendship which has subsisted
+between us for nine years without a break, and without a single act of
+violence that I can call to mind. I suppose there is nothing like it in
+heaven; and not likely to be, until we get there and show off. I often
+think of it with longing, and how they'll say, “There they come--sit
+down in front!” I am practicing with a tin halo. You do the same. I was
+at Henry Rogers's last night, and of course we talked of you. He is not
+at all well; you will not like to hear that; but like you and me, he is
+just as lovely as ever.
+
+I am charmed with your book-enchanted. You are a wonderful creature,
+the most wonderful in the world--you and your other half together--Miss
+Sullivan, I mean, for it took the pair of you to make a complete and
+perfect whole. How she stands out in her letters! her brilliancy,
+penetration, originality, wisdom, character, and the fine literary
+competencies of her pen--they are all there.
+
+Oh, dear me, how unspeakably funny and owlishly idiotic and grotesque
+was that “plagiarism” farce! As if there was much of anything in any
+human utterance, oral or written, except plagiarism! The kernel, the
+soul--let us go further and say the substance, the bulk, the actual
+and valuable material of all human utterances--is plagiarism. For
+substantially all ideas are second-hand, consciously and unconsciously
+drawn from a million outside sources, and daily used by the garnerer
+with a pride and satisfaction born of the superstition that he
+originated them; whereas there is not a rag of originality about them
+anywhere except the little discoloration they get from his mental
+and moral calibre and his temperament, and which is revealed in
+characteristics of phrasing. When a great orator makes a great speech
+you are listening to ten centuries and ten thousand men--but we call it
+his speech, and really some exceedingly small portion of it is his.
+But not enough to signify. It is merely a Waterloo. It is Wellington's
+battle, in some degree, and we call it his; but there are others that
+contributed. It takes a thousand men to invent a telegraph, or a steam
+engine, or a phonograph, or a photograph, or a telephone or any other
+important thing--and the last man gets the credit and we forget the
+others. He added his little mite--that is all he did. These object
+lessons should teach us that ninety-nine parts of all things that
+proceed from the intellect are plagiarisms, pure and simple; and the
+lesson ought to make us modest. But nothing can do that.
+
+Then why don't we unwittingly reproduce the phrasing of a story, as well
+as the story itself? It can hardly happen--to the extent of fifty words
+except in the case of a child: its memory-tablet is not lumbered with
+impressions, and the actual language can have graving-room there, and
+preserve the language a year or two, but a grown person's memory-tablet
+is a palimpsest, with hardly a bare space upon which to engrave a
+phrase. It must be a very rare thing that a whole page gets so sharply
+printed upon a man's mind, by a single reading, that it will stay long
+enough to turn up some time or other and be mistaken by him for his own.
+No doubt we are constantly littering our literature with disconnected
+sentences borrowed from books at some unremembered time and now imagined
+to be our own, but that is about the most we can do. In 1866 I read Dr.
+Holmes's poems, in the Sandwich Islands. A year and a half later I stole
+his dictation, without knowing it, and used it to dedicate my “Innocents
+Abroad” with. Then years afterwards I was talking with Dr. Holmes about
+it. He was not an ignorant ass--no, not he: he was not a collection of
+decayed human turnips, like your “Plagiarism Court;” and so when I said,
+“I know now where I stole it, but whom did you steal it from,” he said,
+“I don't remember; I only know I stole it from somebody, because I have
+never originated anything altogether myself, nor met anybody who had.”
+
+To think of those solemn donkeys breaking a little child's heart
+with their ignorant rubbish about plagiarism! I couldn't sleep for
+blaspheming about it last night. Why, their whole lives, their whole
+histories, all their learning, all their thoughts, all their opinions
+were one solid ruck of plagiarism, and they didn't know it and
+never suspected it. A gang of dull and hoary pirates piously setting
+themselves the task of disciplining and purifying a kitten that they
+think they've caught filching a chop! Oh, dam--
+
+But you finish it, dear, I am running short of vocabulary today. Ever
+lovingly your friend,
+
+ MARK.
+
+(Edited and modified by Clara Clemens, deputy to her mother, who for
+more than 7 months has been ill in bed and unable to exercise her
+official function.)
+
+
+ The burden of the Clemens household had fallen almost entirely upon
+ Clara Clemens. In addition to supervising its customary affairs,
+ she also shouldered the responsibility of an unusual combination of
+ misfortunes, for besides the critical condition of her mother, her
+ sister, Jean Clemens, was down with pneumonia, no word of which must
+ come to Mrs. Clemens. Certainly it was a difficult position. In
+ some account of it, which he set down later, Clemens wrote: “It was
+ fortunate for us all that Clara's reputation for truthfulness was so
+ well established in her mother's mind. It was our daily protection
+ from disaster. The mother never doubted Clara's word. Clara could
+ tell her large improbabilities without exciting any suspicion,
+ whereas if I tried to market even a small and simple one the case
+ would have been different. I was never able to get a reputation
+ like Clara's.”
+
+ The accumulation of physical ailments in the Clemens home had
+ somewhat modified Mark Twain's notion of medical practice. He was
+ no longer radical; he had become eclectic. It is a good deal of a
+ concession that he makes to Twichell, after those earlier letters
+ from Sweden, in which osteopathy had been heralded as the anodyne
+ for all human ills.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+
+DEAR JOE,--Livy does really make a little progress these past 3 or
+4 days, progress which is visible to even the untrained eye. The
+physicians are doing good work with her, but my notion is, that no art
+of healing is the best for all ills. I should distribute the ailments
+around: surgery cases to the surgeons; lupus to the actinic-ray
+specialist; nervous prostration to the Christian Scientist; most ills to
+the allopath and the homeopath; (in my own particular case) rheumatism,
+gout and bronchial attacks to the osteopathist.
+
+Mr. Rogers was to sail southward this morning--and here is this weather!
+I am sorry. I think it's a question if he gets away tomorrow.
+
+ Ys Ever
+ MARK.
+
+
+ It was through J. Y. M. MacAlister, to whom the next letter is
+ written, that Mark Twain had become associated with the Plasmon
+ Company, which explains the reference to “shares.” He had seen much
+ of MacAlister during the winter at Tedworth Square, and had grown
+ fond of him. It is a characteristic letter, and one of interesting
+ fact.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To J. Y. M. MacAlister, in London:
+
+ RIVERDALE, NEW YORK.
+ April, 7, '03.
+
+DEAR MACALISTER,--Yours arrived last night, and God knows I was glad to
+get it, for I was afraid I had blundered into an offence in some way and
+forfeited your friendship--a kind of blunder I have made so many times
+in my life that I am always standing in a waiting and morbid dread of
+its occurrence.
+
+Three days ago I was in condition--during one horribly long night--to
+sympathetically roast with you in your “hell of troubles.” During that
+night I was back again where I was in the black days when I was buried
+under a mountain of debt. I called the daughters to me in private
+council and paralysed them with the announcement, “Our outgo has
+increased in the past 8 months until our expenses are now 125 per cent.
+greater than our income.”
+
+It was a mistake. When I came down in the morning a gray and aged wreck,
+and went over the figures again, I found that in some unaccountable way
+(unaccountable to a business man but not to me) I had multiplied the
+totals by 2. By God I dropped 75 years on the floor where I stood.
+
+Do you know it affected me as one is affected when he wakes out of a
+hideous dream and finds that it was only a dream. It was a great comfort
+and satisfaction to me to call the daughters to a private meeting of the
+Board again and say, “You need not worry any more; our outgo is only a
+third more than our income; in a few months your mother will be out of
+her bed and on her feet again--then we shall drop back to normal and be
+all right.”
+
+Certainly there is a blistering and awful reality about a well-arranged
+unreality. It is quite within the possibilities that two or three nights
+like that night of mine could drive a man to suicide. He would refuse
+to examine the figures; they would revolt him so, and he could go to his
+death unaware that there was nothing serious about them. I cannot get
+that night out of my head, it was so vivid, so real, so ghastly. In any
+other year of these 33 the relief would have been simple: go where you
+can cut your cloth to fit your income. You can't do that when your wife
+can't be moved, even from one room to the next.
+
+Clam spells the trained nurse afternoons; I am allowed to see Mrs.
+Clemens 20 minutes twice a day and write her two letters a day provided
+I put no news in them. No other person ever sees her except the
+physician and now and then a nerve-specialist from New York. She saw
+there was something the matter that morning, but she got no facts out of
+me. But that is nothing--she hasn't had anything but lies for 8 months.
+A fact would give her a relapse.
+
+The doctor and a specialist met in conspiracy five days ago, and
+in their belief she will by and by come out of this as good as new,
+substantially. They ordered her to Italy for next winter--which seems
+to indicate that by autumn she will be able to undertake the voyage. So
+Clara is writing a Florence friend to take a look round among the villas
+for us in the regions near that city. It seems early to do this, but
+Joan Bergheim thought it would be wise.
+
+He and his wife lunched with us here yesterday. They have been abroad in
+Havana 4 months, and they sailed for England this morning.
+
+I am enclosing an order for half of my (your) Founders shares. You are
+not to refuse them this time, though you have done it twice before.
+They are yours, not mine, and for your family's sake if not your own you
+cannot in these cloudy days renounce this property which is so clearly
+yours and theirs. You have been generous long enough; be just, now to
+yourself. Mr. Rogers is off yachting for 5 or 6 weeks--I'll get them
+when he returns. The head of the house joins me in warmest greetings and
+remembrances to you and Mrs. MacAlister.
+
+ Ever yours,
+ Mark.
+
+May 8. Great Scott! I never mailed this letter! I addressed it, put
+“Registered” on it--then left it lying unsealed on the arm of my chair,
+and rushed up to my bed quaking with a chill. I've never been out of the
+bed since--oh, bronchitis, rheumatism, two sets of teeth aching, land,
+I've had a dandy time for 4 weeks. And to-day--great guns, one of the
+very worst!...
+
+I'm devilish sorry, and I do apologise--for although I am not as slow
+as you are about answering letters, as a rule, I see where I'm standing
+this time.
+
+Two weeks ago Jean was taken down again--this time with measles, and I
+haven't been able to go to her and she hasn't been able to come to me.
+
+But Mrs. Clemens is making nice progress, and can stand alone a moment
+or two at a time.
+
+Now I'll post this.
+
+ MARK
+
+
+ The two letters that follow, though written only a few days apart,
+ were separated in their arrival by a period of seven years. The
+ second letter was, in some way, mislaid and not mailed; and it was
+ not until after the writer of it was dead that it was found and
+ forwarded.
+
+ Mark Twain could never get up much enthusiasm for the writings of
+ Scott. His praise of Quentin Durward is about the only approval he
+ ever accorded to the works of the great romanticist.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Brander Matthews, in New York:
+
+ NEW YORK CITY, May 4, '03.
+
+DEAR BRANDER,--I haven't been out of my bed for four weeks, but--well,
+I have been reading, a good deal, and it occurs to me to ask you to sit
+down, some time or other when you have 8 or 9 months to spare, and jot
+me down a certain few literary particulars for my help and elevation.
+Your time need not be thrown away, for at your further leisure you can
+make Colombian lectures out of the results and do your students a good
+turn.
+
+1. Are there in Sir Walter's novels passages done in good
+English--English which is neither slovenly or involved?
+
+2. Are there passages whose English is not poor and thin and
+commonplace, but is of a quality above that?
+
+3. Are there passages which burn with real fire--not punk, fox-fire,
+make believe?
+
+4. Has he heroes and heroines who are not cads and cadesses?
+
+5. Has he personages whose acts and talk correspond with their
+characters as described by him?
+
+6. Has he heroes and heroines whom the reader admires, admires, and
+knows why?
+
+7. Has he funny characters that are funny, and humorous passages that
+are humorous?
+
+8. Does he ever chain the reader's interest, and make him reluctant to
+lay the book down?
+
+9. Are there pages where he ceases from posing, ceases from admiring
+the placid flood and flow of his own dilutions, ceases from being
+artificial, and is for a time, long or short, recognizably sincere and
+in earnest?
+
+10. Did he know how to write English, and didn't do it because he didn't
+want to?
+
+11. Did he use the right word only when he couldn't think of another
+one, or did he run so much to wrong because he didn't know the right one
+when he saw it?
+
+13. Can you read him? and keep your respect for him? Of course a person
+could in his day--an era of sentimentality and sloppy romantics--but
+land! can a body do it today?
+
+Brander, I lie here dying, slowly dying, under the blight of Sir Walter.
+I have read the first volume of Rob Roy, and as far as chapter XIX
+of Guy Mannering, and I can no longer hold my head up nor take my
+nourishment. Lord, it's all so juvenile! so artificial, so shoddy;
+and such wax figures and skeletons and spectres. Interest? Why, it
+is impossible to feel an interest in these bloodless shams, these
+milk-and-water humbugs. And oh, the poverty of the invention! Not
+poverty in inventing situations, but poverty in furnishing reasons
+for them. Sir Walter usually gives himself away when he arranges for a
+situation--elaborates, and elaborates, and elaborates, till if you live
+to get to it you don't believe in it when it happens.
+
+I can't find the rest of Rob Roy, I can't stand any more Mannering--I
+do not know just what to do, but I will reflect, and not quit this great
+study rashly. He was great, in his day, and to his proper audience; and
+so was God in Jewish times, for that matter, but why should either
+of them rank high now? And do they?--honest, now, do they? Dam'd if I
+believe it.
+
+My, I wish I could see you and Leigh Hunt!
+
+ Sincerely Yours
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Brander Matthews, in New York:
+
+ RIVERDALE, May 8,'03 (Mailed June, 1910).
+
+DEAR BRANDER,--I'm still in bed, but the days have lost their dulness
+since I broke into Sir Walter and lost my temper. I finished Guy
+Mannering--that curious, curious book, with its mob of squalid shadows
+jabbering around a single flesh-and-blood being--Dinmont; a book crazily
+put together out of the very refuse of the romance-artist's stage
+properties--finished it and took up Quentin Durward, and finished that.
+
+It was like leaving the dead to mingle with the living: it was like
+withdrawing from the infant class in the College of journalism to sit
+under the lectures in English literature in Columbia University.
+
+I wonder who wrote Quentin Durward?
+
+ Yrs ever
+ MARK.
+
+
+ In 1903, preparations were going on for a great world's fair, to be
+ held in St. Louis, and among other features proposed was a World's
+ Literary Convention, with a week to be set apart in honor of Mark
+ Twain, and a special Mark Twain Day in it, on which the National
+ Association would hold grand services in honor of the distinguished
+ Missourian. A letter asking his consent to the plan brought the
+ following reply.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To T. F. Gatts, of Missouri:
+
+ NEW YORK, May 30, 1903.
+
+DEAR MR. GATTS,--It is indeed a high compliment which you offer me in
+naming an association after me and in proposing the setting apart of a
+Mark Twain day at the great St. Louis fair, but such compliments are
+not proper for the living; they are proper and safe for the dead only. I
+value the impulse which moves you to tender me these honors. I value it
+as highly as any one can, and am grateful for it, but I should stand in
+a sort of terror of the honors themselves. So long as we remain alive we
+are not safe from doing things which, however righteously and honorably
+intended, can wreck our repute and extinguish our friendships.
+
+I hope that no society will be named for me while I am still alive, for
+I might at some time or other do something which would cause its members
+to regret having done me that honor. After I shall have joined the dead
+I shall follow the customs of those people and be guilty of no conduct
+that can wound any friend; but until that time shall come I shall be a
+doubtful quantity like the rest of our race.
+
+ Very truly yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ The National Mark Twain Association did not surrender easily. Mr.
+ Gatts wrote a second letter full of urgent appeal. If Mark Twain
+ was tempted, we get no hint of it in his answer.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To T. F. Gatts, of Missouri:
+
+ NEW YORK, June 8, 1903.
+
+DEAR MR. GATTS,--While I am deeply touched by the desire of my friends
+of Hannibal to confer these great honors upon me, I must still forbear
+to accept them. Spontaneous and unpremeditated honors, like those which
+came to me at Hannibal, Columbia, St. Louis and at the village stations
+all down the line, are beyond all price and are a treasure for life
+in the memory, for they are a free gift out of the heart and they
+come without solicitations; but I am a Missourian and so I shrink from
+distinctions which have to be arranged beforehand and with my privity,
+for I then became a party to my own exalting. I am humanly fond
+of honors that happen but chary of those that come by canvass and
+intention. With sincere thanks to you and your associates for this high
+compliment which you have been minded to offer me, I am,
+
+ Very truly yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ We have seen in the letter to MacAlister that Mark Twain's wife had
+ been ordered to Italy and plans were in progress for an
+ establishment there. By the end of June Mrs. Clemens was able to
+ leave Riverdale, and she made the journey to Quarry Farm, Elmira,
+ where they would remain until October, the month planned for their
+ sailing. The house in Hartford had been sold; and a house which,
+ prior to Mrs. Clemens's breakdown they had bought near Tarrytown
+ (expecting to settle permanently on the Hudson) had been let. They
+ were going to Europe for another indefinite period.
+
+ At Quarry Farm Mrs. Clemens continued to improve, and Clemens, once
+ more able to work, occupied the study which Mrs. Crane had built for
+ him thirty years before, and where Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn and the
+ Wandering Prince had been called into being.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford, Conn.:
+
+ QUARRY FARM, ELMIRA, N. Y.,
+ July 21, '03.
+
+DEAR JOE,--That love-letter delighted Livy beyond any like utterance
+received by her these thirty years and more. I was going to answer
+it for her right away, and said so; but she reserved the privilege to
+herself. I judge she is accumulating Hot Stuff--as George Ade would
+say....
+
+Livy is coming along: eats well, sleeps some, is mostly very gay, not
+very often depressed; spends all day on the porch, sleeps there a part
+of the night, makes excursions in carriage and in wheel-chair; and,
+in the matter of superintending everything and everybody, has resumed
+business at the old stand.
+
+Did you ever go house-hunting 3,000 miles away? It costs three months of
+writing and telegraphing to pull off a success. We finished 3 or 4 days
+ago, and took the Villa Papiniano (dam the name, I have to look at it
+a minutes after writing it, and then am always in doubt) for a year
+by cable. Three miles outside of Florence, under Fiesole--a darling
+location, and apparently a choice house, near Fiske.
+
+There's 7 in our gang. All women but me. It means trunks and things.
+But thanks be! To-day (this is private) comes a most handsome voluntary
+document with seals and escutcheons on it from the Italian Ambassador
+(who is a stranger to me) commanding the Customs people to keep their
+hands off the Clemens's things. Now wasn't it lovely of him? And wasn't
+it lovely of me to let Livy take a pencil and edit my answer and knock a
+good third of it out?
+
+And that's a nice ship--the Irene! new--swift--13,000 tons--rooms up in
+the sky, open to sun and air--and all that. I was desperately troubled
+for Livy--about the down-cellar cells in the ancient “Latin.”
+
+The cubs are in Riverdale, yet; they come to us the first week in
+August.
+
+ With lots and lots of love to you all,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ The arrangement for the Villa Papiniano was not completed, after
+ all, and through a good friend, George Gregory Smith, a resident of
+ Florence, the Villa Quarto, an ancient home of royalty, on the hills
+ west of Florence, was engaged. Smith wrote that it was a very
+ beautiful place with a south-eastern exposure, looking out toward
+ Valombrosa and the Chianti Hills. It had extensive grounds and
+ stables, and the annual rental for it all was two thousand dollars a
+ year. It seemed an ideal place, in prospect, and there was great
+ hope that Mrs. Clemens would find her health once more in the
+ Italian climate which she loved.
+
+ Perhaps at this point, when Mark Twain is once more leaving America,
+ we may offer two letters from strangers to him--letters of
+ appreciation--such as he was constantly receiving from those among
+ the thousands to whom he had given happiness. The first is from
+ Samuel Merwin, one day to become a popular novelist, then in the
+ hour of his beginnings.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Mark Twain, from Samuel Merwin:
+
+ PLAINFIELD, N. J.
+ August 4, 1903.
+
+DEAR MR. CLEMENS,--For a good many years I have been struggling with the
+temptation to write you and thank you for the work you have done; and
+to-day I seem to be yielding.
+
+During the past two years I have been reading through a group of writers
+who seem to me to represent about the best we have--Sir Thomas Malory,
+Spenser, Shakespeare, Boswell, Carlyle, Le Sage. In thinking over one
+and then another, and then all of them together, it was plain to see
+why they were great men and writers: each brought to his time some new
+blood, new ideas,--turned a new current into the stream. I suppose
+there have always been the careful, painstaking writers, the men who are
+always taken so seriously by their fellow craftsmen. It seems to be the
+unconventional man who is so rare--I mean the honestly unconventional
+man, who has to express himself in his own big way because the
+conventional way isn't big enough, because ne needs room and freedom.
+
+We have a group of the more or less conventional men now--men of dignity
+and literary position. But in spite of their influence and of all the
+work they have done, there isn't one of them to whom one can give one's
+self up without reservation, not one whose ideas seem based on the deep
+foundation of all true philosophy,--except Mark Twain.
+
+I hope this letter is not an impertinence. I have just been turning
+about, with my head full of Spenser and Shakespeare and “Gil Blas,”
+ looking for something in our own present day literature to which I could
+surrender myself as to those five gripping old writings. And nothing
+could I find until I took up “Life on the Mississippi,” and “Huckleberry
+Finn,” and, just now, the “Connecticut Yankee.” It isn't the first time
+I have read any of these three, and it's because I know it won't be the
+last, because these books are the only ones written in my lifetime that
+claim my unreserved interest and admiration and, above all, my feelings,
+that I've felt I had to write this letter.
+
+I like to think that “Tom Sawyer” and “Huckleberry Finn” will be looked
+upon, fifty or a hundred years from now, as the picture of buoyant,
+dramatic, human American life. I feel, deep in my own heart, pretty
+sure that they will be. They won't be looked on then as the work of a
+“humorist” any more than we think of Shakespeare as a humorist now.
+I don't mean by this to set up a comparison between Mark Twain and
+Shakespeare: I don't feel competent to do it; and I'm not at all sure
+that it could be done until Mark Twain's work shall have its fair share
+of historical perspective. But Shakespeare was a humorist and so, thank
+Heaven! is Mark Twain. And Shakespeare plunged deep into the deep, sad
+things of life; and so, in a different way (but in a way that has more
+than once brought tears to my eyes) has Mark Twain. But after all,
+it isn't because of any resemblance for anything that was ever before
+written that Mark Twain's books strike in so deep: it's rather because
+they've brought something really new into our literature--new, yet old
+as Adam and Eve and the Apple. And this achievement, the achievement
+of putting something into literature that was not there before, is, I
+should think, the most that any writer can ever hope to do. It is the
+one mark of distinction between the “lonesome” little group of big men
+and the vast herd of medium and small ones. Anyhow, this much I am sure
+of--to the young man who hopes, however feebly, to accomplish a little
+something, someday, as a writer, the one inspiring example of our time
+is Mark Twain. Very truly yours,
+ SAMUEL MERWIN.
+
+
+Mark Twain once said he could live a month on a good compliment, and
+from his reply, we may believe this one to belong in, that class.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Samuel Merwin, in Plainfield, N. J.:
+
+ Aug. 16, '03.
+
+DEAR MR. MERWIN,--What you have said has given me deep pleasure--indeed
+I think no words could be said that could give me more.
+
+ Very sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ The next “compliment” is from one who remains unknown, for she
+ failed to sign her name in full. But it is a lovely letter, and
+ loses nothing by the fact that the writer of it was willing to
+ remain in obscurity.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Mark Twain, from Margaret M----:
+
+ PORTLAND, OREGON
+ Aug. 18, 1903.
+
+MY DEAR, DEAR MARK TWAIN,--May a little girl write and tell you how
+dearly she loves and admires your writings? Well, I do and I want to
+tell you your ownself. Don't think me too impertinent for indeed I don't
+mean to be that! I have read everything of yours that I could get and
+parts that touch me I have read over and over again. They seem such
+dear friends to me, so like real live human beings talking and laughing,
+working and suffering too! One cannot but feel that it is your own life
+and experience that you have painted. So do not wonder that you seem a
+dear friend to me who has never even seen you. I often think of you as
+such in my own thoughts. I wonder if you will laugh when I tell you I
+have made a hero of you? For when people seem very sordid and mean and
+stupid (and it seems as if everybody was) then the thought will come
+like a little crumb of comfort “well, Mark Twain isn't anyway.” And it
+does really brighten me up.
+
+You see I have gotten an idea that you are a great, bright spirit
+of kindness and tenderness. One who can twist everybody's-even your
+own-faults and absurdities into hearty laughs. Even the person mocked
+must laugh! Oh, Dear! How often you have made me laugh! And yet as often
+you have struck something infinite away down deep in my heart so that I
+want to cry while half laughing!
+
+So this all means that I want to thank you and to tell you. “God always
+love Mark Twain!” is often my wish. I dearly love to read books, and I
+never tire of reading yours; they always have a charm for me. Good-bye,
+I am afraid I have not expressed what I feel. But at least I have tried.
+
+ Sincerely yours.
+ MARGARET M.----
+
+
+ Clemens and family left Elmira October the 5th for New York City.
+ They remained at the Hotel Grosvenor until their sailing date,
+ October 24th. A few days earlier, Mr. Frank Doubleday sent a volume
+ of Kipling's poems and de Blowitz's Memoirs for entertainment on the
+ ship. Mark Twain's acknowledgment follows.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To F. N. Doubleday, in New York:
+
+ THE GROSVENOR,
+ October 12, '03.
+
+DEAR DOUBLEDAY,--The books came--ever so many thanks. I have been
+reading “The Bell Buoy” and “The Old Men” over and over again--my custom
+with Kipling's work-and saving up the rest for other leisurely and
+luxurious meals. A bell-buoy is a deeply impressive fellow-being. In
+these many recent trips up and down the Sound in the Kanawha--[Mr.
+Rogers's yacht.]--he has talked to me nightly, sometimes in his pathetic
+and melancholy way, sometimes with his strenuous and urgent note, and I
+got his meaning--now I have his words! No one but Kipling could do this
+strong and vivid thing. Some day I hope to hear the poem chanted or
+sung--with the bell-buoy breaking in, out of the distance.
+
+“The Old Men,” delicious, isn't it? And so comically true. I haven't
+arrived there yet, but I suppose I am on the way....
+
+ Yours ever,
+ MARK.
+
+P. S. Your letter has arrived. It makes me proud and glad--what Kipling
+says. I hope Fate will fetch him to Florence while we are there. I would
+rather see him than any other man.
+
+We've let the Tarrytown house for a year. Man, you would never have
+believed a person could let a house in these times. That one's for sale,
+the Hartford one is sold. When we buy again may we--may I--be damned....
+
+I've dipped into Blowitz and find him quaintly and curiously
+interesting. I think he tells the straight truth, too. I knew him a
+little, 23 years ago.
+
+ The appreciative word which Kipling had sent Doubleday was: “I love
+ to think of the great and God-like Clemens. He is the biggest man
+ you have on your side of the water by a damn sight, and don't you
+ forget it. Cervantes was a relation of his.”
+
+
+
+
+XLIII. LETTERS OF 1904. TO VARIOUS PERSONS. LIFE IN VILLA QUARTO. DEATH
+OF MRS. CLEMENS. THE RETURN TO AMERICA.
+
+ Mrs. Clemens stood the voyage to Italy very well and, in due
+ time, the family were installed in the Villa Reale di
+ Quarto, the picturesque old Palace of Cosimo, a spacious,
+ luxurious place, even if not entirely cheerful or always
+ comfortable during the changeable Tuscan winter.
+ Congratulated in a letter from MacAlister in being in the
+ midst of Florentine sunshine, he answered: “Florentine
+ sunshine? Bless you, there isn't any. We have heavy fogs
+ every morning, and rain all day. This house is not merely
+ large, it is vast--therefore I think it must always lack the
+ home feeling.”
+
+ Neither was their landlady, the American wife of an Italian
+ count, all that could be desired. From a letter to
+ Twichell, however, we learn that Mark Twain's work was
+ progressing well.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO,
+ FLORENCE, Jan. 7, '04.
+
+DEAR JOE,--... I have had a handsome success, in one way, here. I left
+New York under a sort of half promise to furnish to the Harper magazines
+30,000 words this year. Magazining is difficult work because every third
+page represents 2 pages that you have put in the fire; (because you
+are nearly sure to start wrong twice) and so when you have finished
+an article and are willing to let it go to print it represents only 10
+cents a word instead of 30.
+
+But this time I had the curious (and unprecedented) luck to start right
+in each case. I turned out 37,000 words in 25 working days; and the
+reason I think I started right every time is, that not only have I
+approved and accepted the several articles, but the court of last resort
+(Livy) has done the same.
+
+On many of the between-days I did some work, but only of an idle and not
+necessarily necessary sort, since it will not see print until I am
+dead. I shall continue this (an hour per day) but the rest of the year
+I expect to put in on a couple of long books (half-completed ones.) No
+more magazine-work hanging over my head.
+
+This secluded and silent solitude this clean, soft air and this
+enchanting view of Florence, the great valley and the snow-mountains
+that frame it are the right conditions for work. They are a persistent
+inspiration. To-day is very lovely; when the afternoon arrives there
+will be a new picture every hour till dark, and each of them divine--or
+progressing from divine to diviner and divinest. On this (second) floor
+Clara's room commands the finest; she keeps a window ten feet high wide
+open all the time and frames it in. I go in from time to time, every day
+and trade sass for a look. The central detail is a distant and stately
+snow-hump that rises above and behind blackforested hills, and its
+sloping vast buttresses, velvety and sun-polished with purple shadows
+between, make the sort of picture we knew that time we walked in
+Switzerland in the days of our youth.
+
+I wish I could show your letter to Livy--but she must wait a week or so
+for it. I think I told you she had a prostrating week of tonsillitis a
+month ago; she has remained very feeble ever since, and confined to the
+bed of course, but we allow ourselves to believe she will regain the
+lost ground in another month. Her physician is Professor Grocco--she
+could not have a better. And she has a very good trained nurse.
+
+Love to all of you from all of us. And to all of our dear Hartford
+friends.
+
+ MARK
+
+P. S. 3 days later.
+
+Livy is as remarkable as ever. The day I wrote you--that night, I
+mean--she had a bitter attack of gout or rheumatism occupying the whole
+left arm from shoulder to fingers, accompanied by fever. The pains
+racked her 50 or 60 hours; they have departed, now--and already she is
+planning a trip to Egypt next fall, and a winter's sojourn there! This
+is life in her yet.
+
+You will be surprised that I was willing to do so much
+magazine-writing--a thing I have always been chary about--but I had good
+reasons. Our expenses have been so prodigious for a year and a half,
+and are still so prodigious, that Livy was worrying altogether too much
+about them, and doing a very dangerous amount of lying awake on their
+account. It was necessary to stop that, and it is now stopped.
+
+Yes, she is remarkable, Joe. Her rheumatic attack set me to cursing and
+swearing, without limit as to time or energy, but it merely concentrated
+her patience and her unconquerable fortitude. It is the difference
+between us. I can't count the different kinds of ailments which have
+assaulted her in this fiendish year and a half--and I forgive none of
+them--but here she comes up again as bright and fresh and enterprising
+as ever, and goes to planning about Egypt, with a hope and a confidence
+which are to me amazing.
+
+Clara is calling for me--we have to go into town and pay calls.
+
+ MARK.
+
+
+ In Florence, that winter, Clemens began dictating to his secretary
+ some autobiographical chapters. This was the work which was “not to
+ see print until I am dead.” He found it a pleasant, lazy occupation
+ and wrote his delight in it to Howells in a letter which seems not
+ to have survived. In his reply, Howells wrote: “You do stir me
+ mightily with the hope of dictating and I will try it when I get the
+ chance. But there is the tempermental difference. You are dramatic
+ and unconscious; you count the thing more than yourself; I am cursed
+ with consciousness to the core, and can't say myself out; I am
+ always saying myself in, and setting myself above all that I say, as
+ of more worth. Lately I have felt as if I were rotting with
+ egotism. I don't admire myself; I am sick of myself; but I can't
+ think of anything else. Here I am at it now, when I ought to be
+ rejoicing with you at the blessing you have found.... I'd like,
+ immensely, to read your autobiography. You always rather bewildered
+ me by your veracity, and I fancy you may tell the truth about
+ yourself. But all of it? The black truth which we all know of
+ ourselves in our hearts, or only the whity-brown truth of the
+ pericardium, or the nice, whitened truth of the shirtfront? Even
+ you won't tell the black heart's--truth. The man who could do it
+ would be famed to the last day the sun shone upon.”
+
+ We gather from Mark Twain's answer that he was not deceiving himself
+ in the matter of his confessions.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To W. D. Howells, in New York:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ March 14, '04.
+
+DEAR HOWELLS,--Yes, I set up the safeguards, in the first day's
+dictating; taking this position: that an autobiography is the truest of
+all books; for while it inevitably consists mainly of extinctions of the
+truth, shirkings of the truth, partial revealments of the truth, with
+hardly an instance of plain straight truth, the remorseless truth is
+there, between the lines, where the author is raking dust upon it,
+the result being that the reader knows the author in spite of his wily
+diligences.
+
+The summer in England! you can't ask better luck than that. Then you
+will run over to Florence; we shall all be hungry to see you-all. We are
+hunting for another villa, (this one is plenty large enough but has no
+room in it) but even if we find it I am afraid it will be months before
+we can move Mrs. Clemens. Of course it will. But it comforts us to let
+on that we think otherwise, and these pretensions help to keep hope
+alive in her.
+
+ Good-bye, with love, Amen.
+ Yours ever
+ MARK.
+
+
+ News came of the death of Henry M. Stanley, one of Mark Twain's
+ oldest friends. Clemens once said that he had met Stanley in St.
+ Louis where he (Clemens) had delivered a lecture which Stanley had
+ reported. In the following letter he fixes the date of their
+ meeting as early in 1867, which would be immediately after Mark
+ Twain's return from California, and just prior to the Quaker City
+ excursion--a fact which is interesting only because it places the
+ two men together when each was at the very beginning of a great
+ career.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Lady Stanley, in England:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FIRENZE, May 11, '04.
+
+DEAR LADY STANLEY,--I have lost a dear and honored friend--how fast
+they fall about me now, in my age! The world has lost a tried and proved
+hero. And you--what have you lost? It is beyond estimate--we who know
+you, and what he was to you, know that. How far he stretches across my
+life! I knew him when his work was all before him five years before the
+great day that he wrote his name far-away up on the blue of the sky for
+the world to see and applaud and remember; I have known him as friend
+and intimate ever since. It is 37 years. I have known no other friend
+and intimate so long, except John Hay--a friendship which dates from the
+same year and the same half of it, the first half of 1867. I grieve with
+you and with your family, dear Lady Stanley, it is all I can do; but
+that I do out of my heart. It would be we, instead of I, if Mrs. Clemens
+knew, but in all these 20 months that she has lain a prisoner in her bed
+we have hidden from her all things that could sadden her. Many a friend
+is gone whom she still asks about and still thinks is living.
+
+In deepest sympathy I beg the privilege of signing myself
+
+ Your friend,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, May 11, '04
+
+DEAR JOE,--Yours has this moment arrived--just as I was finishing a note
+to poor Lady Stanley. I believe the last country-house visit we paid in
+England was to Stanley's. Lord, how my friends and acquaintances fall
+about me now, in my gray-headed days! Vereschagin, Mommsen, Dvorak,
+Lenbach, Jokai--all so recently, and now Stanley. I had known Stanley
+37 years. Goodness, who is it I haven't known! As a rule the necrologies
+find me personally interested--when they treat of old stagers. Generally
+when a man dies who is worth cabling, it happens that I have run across
+him somewhere, some time or other.
+
+Oh, say! Down by the Laurentian Library there's a marble image that
+has been sitting on its pedestal some 450 Years, if my dates are
+right--Cosimo I. I've seen the back of it many a time, but not the
+front; but yesterday I twisted my head around after we had driven by,
+and the profane exclamation burst from my mouth before I could think:
+“there's Chauncey Depew!”
+
+I mean to get a photo of it--and use it if it confirms yesterday's
+conviction. That's a very nice word from the Catholic Magazine and I am
+glad you sent it. I mean to show it to my priest--we are very fond of
+him. He is a stealing man, and is also learnedly scientific. He invented
+the thing which records the seismatic disturbances, for the peoples of
+the earth. And he's an astronomer and has an observatory of his own.
+
+Ah, many's the cry I have, over reflecting that maybe we could have had
+Young Harmony for Livy, and didn't have wit enough to think of it.
+
+Speaking of Livy reminds me that your inquiry arrives at a good time
+(unberufen) It has been weeks (I don't know how many!) since we could
+have said a hopeful word, but this morning Katy came the minute the
+day-nurse came on watch and said words of a strange and long-forgotten
+sound: “Mr. Clemens, Mrs. Clemens is really and truly better!--anybody
+can see it; she sees it herself; and last night at 9 o'clock she said
+it.”
+
+There--it is heart-warming, it is splendid, it is sublime; let us
+enjoy it, let us make the most of it today--and bet not a farthing on
+tomorrow. The tomorrows have nothing for us. Too many times they have
+breathed the word of promise to our ear and broken it to our hope. We
+take no tomorrow's word any more.
+
+You've done a wonder, Joe: you've written a letter that can be sent in
+to Livy--that doesn't often happen, when either a friend or a stranger
+writes. You did whirl in a P. S. that wouldn't do, but you wrote it on
+a margin of a page in such a way that I was able to clip off the margin
+clear across both pages, and now Livy won't perceive that the sheet
+isn't the same size it used to was. It was about Aldrich's son, and
+I came near forgetting to remove it. It should have been written on a
+loose strip and enclosed. That son died on the 5th of March and Aldrich
+wrote me on the night before that his minutes were numbered. On the 18th
+Livy asked after that patient, and I was prepared, and able to give her
+a grateful surprise by telling her “the Aldriches are no longer uneasy
+about him.”
+
+I do wish I could have been present and heard Charley Clark. When he
+can't light up a dark place nobody can.
+
+ With lots of love to you all.
+ MARK.
+
+
+ Mrs. Clemens had her bad days and her good days-days when there
+ seemed no ray of light, and others that seemed almost to promise
+ recovery. The foregoing letter to Twichell, and the one which
+ follows, to Richard Watson Gilder, reflect the hope and fear that
+ daily and hourly alternated at Villa Quarto
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Richard Watson Gilder, in New York:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ May 12, '04.
+
+DEAR GILDER,--A friend of ours (the Baroness de Nolda) was here this
+afternoon and wanted a note of introduction to the Century, for she has
+something to sell to you in case you'll want to make her an offer after
+seeing a sample of the goods. I said “With pleasure: get the goods
+ready, send the same to me, I will have Jean type-write them, then I
+will mail them to the Century and tonight I will write the note to Mr.
+Gilder and start it along. Also write me a letter embodying what
+you have been saying to me about the goods and your proposed plan of
+arranging and explaining them, and I will forward that to Gilder too.”
+
+As to the Baroness. She is a German; 30 years old; was married at 17;
+is very pretty-indeed I might say very pretty; has a lot of sons (5)
+running up from seven to 12 years old. Her husband is a Russian. They
+live half the time in Russia and the other half in Florence, and supply
+population alternately to the one country and then to the other. Of
+course it is a family that speaks languages. This occurs at their
+table--I know it by experience: It is Babel come again. The other day,
+when no guests were present to keep order, the tribes were all talking
+at once, and 6 languages were being traded in; at last the littlest boy
+lost his temper and screamed out at the top of his voice, with angry
+sobs: “Mais, vraiment, io non capisco gar nichts.”
+
+The Baroness is a little afraid of her English, therefore she will write
+her remarks in French--I said there's a plenty of translators in New
+York. Examine her samples and drop her a line.
+
+For two entire days, now, we have not been anxious about Mrs. Clemens
+(unberufen). After 20 months of bed-ridden solitude and bodily misery
+she all of a sudden ceases to be a pallid shrunken shadow, and looks
+bright and young and pretty. She remains what she always was, the most
+wonderful creature of fortitude, patience, endurance and recuperative
+power that ever was. But ah, dear, it won't last; this fiendish malady
+will play new treacheries upon her, and I shall go back to my prayers
+again--unutterable from any pulpit!
+
+ With love to you and yours,
+ S. L. C.
+
+May 13 10 A.M. I have just paid one of my pair of permitted 2 minutes
+visits per day to the sick room. And found what I have learned to
+expect--retrogression, and that pathetic something in the eye which
+betrays the secret of a waning hope.
+
+
+ The year of the World's Fair had come, and an invitation from Gov.
+ Francis, of Missouri, came to Mark Twain in Florence, personally
+ inviting him to attend the great celebration and carry off first
+ prize. We may believe that Clemens felt little in the spirit of
+ humor, but to such an invitation he must send a cheerful, even if
+ disappointing, answer.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Gov. Francis, of Missouri:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FIRENZE,
+ May 26, 1904.
+
+DEAR GOVERNOR FRANCIS,--It has been a dear wish of mine to exhibit
+myself at the Great Fair and get a prize, but circumstances beyond my
+control have interfered, and I must remain in Florence. Although I
+have never taken prizes anywhere else I used to take them at school in
+Missouri half a century ago, and I ought to be able to repeat, now, if
+I could have a chance. I used to get the medal for good spelling, every
+week, and I could have had the medal for good conduct if there hadn't
+been so much corruption in Missouri in those days; still, I got it
+several times by trading medals and giving boot. I am willing to give
+boot now, if--however, those days are forever gone by in Missouri,
+and perhaps it is better so. Nothing ever stops the way it was in this
+changeable world. Although I cannot be at the Fair, I am going to be
+represented there anyway, by a portrait, by Professor Gelli. You will
+find it excellent. Good judges here say it is better than the original.
+They say it has all the merits of the original and keeps still, besides.
+It sounds like flattery, but it is just true.
+
+I suppose you will get a prize, because you have created the most
+prodigious and in all ways most wonderful Fair the planet has ever seen.
+Very well, you have indeed earned it: and with it the gratitude of the
+State and the nation.
+
+ Sincerely yours,
+ MARK TWAIN
+
+ It was only a few days after the foregoing was written that death
+ entered Villa Quarto--unexpectedly at last--for with the first June
+ days Mrs. Clemens had seemed really to improve. It was on Sunday,
+ June 5th, that the end came. Clemens, with his daughter Jean, had
+ returned from a long drive, during which they had visited a Villa
+ with the thought of purchase. On their return they were told that
+ their patient had been better that afternoon than for three months.
+ Yet it was only a few hours later that she left them, so suddenly
+ and quietly that even those near her did not at first realize that
+ she was gone.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To W. D. Howells, in New York.
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ June 6, '94. [1904]
+
+DEAR HOWELLS,--Last night at 9.20 I entered Mrs. Clemens's room to say
+the usual goodnight--and she was dead--tho' no one knew it. She had been
+cheerfully talking, a moment before. She was sitting up in bed--she had
+not lain down for months--and Katie and the nurse were supporting her.
+They supposed she had fainted, and they were holding the oxygen pipe to
+her mouth, expecting to revive her. I bent over her and looked in her
+face, and I think I spoke--I was surprised and troubled that she did
+not notice me. Then we understood, and our hearts broke. How poor we are
+today!
+
+But how thankful I am that her persecutions are ended. I would not call
+her back if I could.
+
+Today, treasured in her worn old Testament, I found a dear and gentle
+letter from you, dated Far Rockaway, Sept. 13, 1896, about our poor
+Susy's death. I am tired and old; I wish I were with Livy.
+
+I send my love-and hers-to you all.
+
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+ In a letter to Twichell he wrote: “How sweet she was in death; how
+ young, how beautiful, how like her dear, girlish self cf thirty
+ years ago; not a gray hair showing.”
+
+ The family was now without plans for the future until they
+ remembered the summer home of R. W. Gilder, at Tyringham,
+ Massachusetts, and the possibility of finding lodgment for
+ themselves in that secluded corner of New England. Clemens wrote
+ without delay, as follows:
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To R. W. Gilder, in New York:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ June 7, '04.
+
+DEAR GILDER FAMILY,--I have been worrying and worrying to know what to
+do: at last I went to the girls with an idea: to ask the Gilders to get
+us shelter near their summer home. It was the first time they have not
+shaken their heads. So to-morrow I will cable to you and shall hope to
+be in time.
+
+An hour ago the best heart that ever beat for me and mine went silent
+out of this house, and I am as one who wanders and has lost his way. She
+who is gone was our head, she was our hands. We are now trying to make
+plans--we: we who have never made a plan before, nor ever needed to. If
+she could speak to us she would make it all simple and easy with a word,
+and our perplexities would vanish away. If she had known she was near to
+death she would have told us where to go and what to do: but she was not
+suspecting, neither were we. (She had been chatting cheerfully a moment
+before, and in an instant she was gone from us and we did not know it.
+We were not alarmed, we did not know anything had happened. It was a
+blessed death--she passed away without knowing it.) She was all our
+riches and she is gone: she was our breath, she was our life and now we
+are nothing.
+
+We send you our love--and with it the love of you that was in her heart
+when she died.
+
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ Howells wrote his words of sympathy, adding: “The character which
+ now remains a memory was one of the most perfect ever formed on the
+ earth,” and again, after having received Clemens's letter: “I cannot
+ speak of your wife's having kept that letter of mine where she did.
+ You know how it must humiliate a man in his unworthiness to have
+ anything of his so consecrated. She hallowed what she touched, far
+ beyond priests.”
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To W. D. Howells, in New York:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, '04.
+ June 12, 6 p. m.
+
+DEAR HOWELLS,--We have to sit and hold our hands and wait--in the
+silence and solitude of this prodigious house; wait until June 25, then
+we go to Naples and sail in the Prince Oscar the 26th. There is a
+ship 12 days earlier (but we came in that one.) I see Clara twice a
+day--morning and evening--greeting--nothing more is allowed. She keeps
+her bed, and says nothing. She has not cried yet. I wish she could cry.
+It would break Livy's heart to see Clara. We excuse ourselves from
+all the friends that call--though of course only intimates come.
+Intimates--but they are not the old old friends, the friends of the old,
+old times when we laughed.
+
+Shall we ever laugh again? If I could only see a dog that I knew in
+the old times! and could put my arms around his neck and tell him all,
+everything, and ease my heart.
+
+Think--in 3 hours it will be a week!--and soon a month; and by and by a
+year. How fast our dead fly from us.
+
+She loved you so, and was always as pleased as a child with any notice
+you took of her.
+
+Soon your wife will be with you, oh fortunate man! And John, whom mine
+was so fond of. The sight of him was such a delight to her. Lord, the
+old friends, how dear they are.
+
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Rev. J. R. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ June 18, '04.
+
+DEAR JOE,--It is 13 days. I am bewildered and must remain so for a time
+longer. It was so sudden, so unexpected. Imagine a man worth a hundred
+millions who finds himself suddenly penniless and fifty million in debt
+in his old age.
+
+I was richer than any other person in the world, and now I am that
+pauper without peer. Some day I will tell you about it, not now.
+
+ MARK.
+
+
+ A tide of condolence flowed in from all parts of the world. It was
+ impossible to answer all. Only a few who had been their closest
+ friends received a written line, but the little printed
+ acknowledgment which was returned was no mere formality. It was a
+ heartfelt, personal word.
+
+ They arrived in America in July, and were accompanied by Twichell to
+ Elmira, and on the 14th Mrs. Clemens was laid to rest by the side of
+ Susy and little Langdon. R. W. Gilder had arranged for them to
+ occupy, for the summer, a cottage on his place at Tyringham, in the
+ Berkshire Hills. By November they were at the Grosvenor, in New
+ York, preparing to establish themselves in a house which they had
+ taken on the corner of Ninth Street and Fifth Avenue--Number 21.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To F. N. Doubleday, in New York:
+
+
+DEAR DOUBLEDAY,--I did not know you were going to England: I would have
+freighted you with such messages of homage and affection to Kipling. And
+I would have pressed his hand, through you, for his sympathy with me in
+my crushing loss, as expressed by him in his letter to Gilder. You know
+my feeling for Kipling and that it antedates that expression.
+
+I was glad that the boys came here to invite me to the house-warming and
+I think they understood why a man in the shadow of a calamity like mine
+could not go.
+
+It has taken three months to repair and renovate our house--corner of
+9th and 5th Avenue, but I shall be in it in io or 15 days hence. Much
+of the furniture went into it today (from Hartford). We have not seen
+it for 13 years. Katy Leary, our old housekeeper, who has been in our
+service more than 24 years, cried when she told me about it to-day. She
+said “I had forgotten it was so beautiful, and it brought Mrs. Clemens
+right back to me--in that old time when she was so young and lovely.”
+
+Jean and my secretary and the servants whom we brought from Italy
+because Mrs. Clemens liked them so well, are still keeping house in the
+Berkshire hills--and waiting. Clara (nervously wrecked by her mother's
+death) is in the hands of a specialist in 69th St., and I shall not be
+allowed to have any communication with her--even telephone--for a year.
+I am in this comfortable little hotel, and still in bed--for I dasn't
+budge till I'm safe from my pet devil, bronchitis.
+
+Isn't it pathetic? One hour and ten minutes before Mrs. Clemens died
+I was saying to her “To-day, after five months search, I've found the
+villa that will content you: to-morrow you will examine the plans and
+give it your consent and I will buy it.” Her eyes danced with pleasure,
+for she longed for a home of her own. And there, on that morrow, she lay
+white and cold. And unresponsive to my reverent caresses--a new thing
+to me and a new thing to her; that had not happened before in five and
+thirty years.
+
+I am coming to see you and Mrs. Doubleday by and bye. She loved and
+honored Mrs. Doubleday and her work.
+
+ Always yours,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ It was a presidential year and the air was thick with politics.
+ Mark Twain was no longer actively interested in the political
+ situation; he was only disheartened by the hollowness and pretense
+ of office-seeking, and the methods of office-seekers in general.
+ Grieved that Twichell should still pin his faith to any party when
+ all parties were so obviously venal and time-serving, he wrote in
+ outspoken and rather somber protest.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ THE GROSVENOR, Nov. 4, '04.
+
+Oh, dear! get out of that sewer--party politics--dear Joe. At least
+with your mouth. We hail only two men who could make speeches for their
+parties and preserve their honor and their dignity. One of them is dead.
+Possibly there were four. I am sorry for John Hay; sorry and ashamed.
+And yet I know he couldn't help it. He wears the collar, and he had to
+pay the penalty. Certainly he had no more desire to stand up before
+a mob of confiding human incapables and debauch them than you had.
+Certainly he took no more real pleasure in distorting history,
+concealing facts, propagating immoralities, and appealing to the sordid
+side of human nature than did you; but he was his party's property, and
+he had to climb away down and do it.
+
+It is interesting, wonderfully interesting--the miracles which
+party-politics can do with a man's mental and moral make-up. Look
+at McKinley, Roosevelt, and yourself: in private life spotless
+in character; honorable, honest, just, humane, generous; scorning
+trickeries, treacheries, suppressions of the truth, mistranslations of
+the meanings of facts, the filching of credit earned by another, the
+condoning of crime, the glorifying of base acts: in public political
+life the reverse of all this.
+
+McKinley was a silverite--you concealed it. Roosevelt was a
+silverite--you concealed it. Parker was a silverite--you publish it.
+Along with a shudder and a warning: “He was unsafe then. Is he any safer
+now?”
+
+Joe, even I could be guilty of such a thing as that--if I were in
+party-politics; I really believe it.
+
+Mr. Cleveland gave the country the gold standard; by implication you
+credit the matter to the Republican party.
+
+By implication you prove the whole annual pension-scoop, concealing the
+fact that the bulk of the money goes to people who in no way deserve it.
+You imply that all the batteners upon this bribery-fund are Republicans.
+An indiscreet confession, since about half of them must have been
+Democrats before they were bought.
+
+You as good as praise Order 78. It is true you do not shout, and you do
+not linger, you only whisper and skip--still, what little you do in the
+matter is complimentary to the crime.
+
+It means, if it means anything, that our outlying properties will all
+be given up by the Democrats, and our flag hauled down. All of them? Not
+only the properties stolen by Mr. McKinley and Mr. Roosevelt, but the
+properties honestly acquired? Joe, did you believe that hardy statement
+when you made it? Yet you made it, and there it stands in permanent
+print. Now what moral law would suffer if we should give up the stolen
+ones? But--
+
+“You know our standard-bearer. He will maintain all that we have
+gained”--by whatever process. Land, I believe you!
+
+By George, Joe, you are as handy at the game as if you had been in
+training for it all your life. Your campaign Address is built from the
+ground up upon the oldest and best models. There isn't a paragraph in it
+whose facts or morals will wash--not even a sentence, I believe.
+
+But you will soon be out of this. You didn't want to do it--that is
+sufficiently apparent, thanks be!--but you couldn't well get out of it.
+In a few days you will be out of it, and then you can fumigate yourself
+and take up your legitimate work again and resume your clean and
+wholesome private character once more and be happy--and useful.
+
+I know I ought to hand you some guff, now, as propitiation and apology
+for these reproaches, but on the whole I believe I won't.
+
+I have inquired, and find that Mitsikuri does not arrive here until
+to-morrow night. I shall watch out, and telephone again, for I greatly
+want to see him.
+
+ Always Yours,
+ MARK.
+
+P. S.--Nov, 4. I wish I could learn to remember that it is unjust and
+dishonorable to put blame upon the human race for any of its acts.
+For it did not make itself, it did not make its nature, it is merely
+a machine, it is moved wholly by outside influences, it has no hand in
+creating the outside influences nor in choosing which of them it will
+welcome or reject, its performance is wholly automatic, it has no more
+mastership nor authority over its mind than it has over its stomach,
+which receives material from the outside and does as it pleases with
+it, indifferent to it's proprietor's suggestions, even, let alone his
+commands; wherefore, whatever the machine does--so called crimes and
+infamies included--is the personal act of its Maker, and He, solely,
+is responsible. I wish I could learn to pity the human race instead of
+censuring it and laughing at it; and I could, if the outside influences
+of old habit were not so strong upon my machine. It vexes me to catch
+myself praising the clean private citizen Roosevelt, and blaming the
+soiled President Roosevelt, when I know that neither praise nor blame
+is due to him for any thought or word or deed of his, he being merely a
+helpless and irresponsible coffee-mill ground by the hand of God.
+
+ Through a misunderstanding, Clemens, something more than a year
+ earlier, had severed his connection with the Players' Club, of which
+ he had been one of the charter members. Now, upon his return to New
+ York, a number of his friends joined in an invitation to him to
+ return. It was not exactly a letter they sent, but a bit of an old
+ Scotch song--
+
+ “To Mark Twain
+ from
+ The Clansmen.
+ Will ye no come back again,
+ Will ye no come back again?
+ Better lo'ed ye canna be.
+ Will ye no come back again?”
+
+ Those who signed it were David Monroe, of the North American Review;
+ Robert Reid, the painter, and about thirty others of the Round Table
+ Group, so called because its members were accustomed to lunching at
+ a large round table in a bay window of the Player dining-room. Mark
+ Twain's reply was prompt and heartfelt. He wrote:
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Robt. Reid and the Others:
+
+WELL-BELOVED,--Surely those lovely verses went to Prince Charley's
+heart, if he had one, and certainly they have gone to mine. I shall
+be glad and proud to come back again after such a moving and beautiful
+compliment as this from comrades whom I have loved so long. I hope you
+can poll the necessary vote; I know you will try, at any rate. It will
+be many months before I can foregather with you, for this black border
+is not perfunctory, not a convention; it symbolizes the loss of one
+whose memory is the only thing I worship.
+
+It is not necessary for me to thank you--and words could not deliver
+what I feel, anyway. I will put the contents of your envelope in the
+small casket where I keep the things which have become sacred to me.
+
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+A year later, Mark Twain did “come back again,” as an honorary life
+member, and was given a dinner of welcome by those who had signed the
+lines urging his return.
+
+
+
+
+XLIV. LETTERS OF 1905. TO TWICHELL, MR. DUNEKA AND OTHERS. POLITICS AND
+HUMANITY. A SUMMER AT DUBLIN. MARK TWAIN AT 70.
+
+ In 1884 Mark Twain had abandoned the Republican Party to vote for
+ Cleveland. He believed the party had become corrupt, and to his
+ last day it was hard for him to see anything good in Republican
+ policies or performance. He was a personal friend of Theodore
+ Roosevelt's but, as we have seen in a former letter, Roosevelt the
+ politician rarely found favor in his eyes. With or without
+ justification, most of the President's political acts invited his
+ caustic sarcasm and unsparing condemnation. Another letter to
+ Twichell of this time affords a fair example.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ Feb. 16, '05.
+
+DEAR JOE,--I knew I had in me somewhere a definite feeling about the
+President if I could only find the words to define it with. Here they
+are, to a hair--from Leonard Jerome: “For twenty years I have loved
+Roosevelt the man and hated Roosevelt the statesman and politician.”
+
+It's mighty good. Every time, in 25 years, that I have met Roosevelt the
+man, a wave of welcome has streaked through me with the hand-grip; but
+whenever (as a rule) I meet Roosevelt the statesman and politician, I
+find him destitute of morals and not respectworthy. It is plain that
+where his political self and his party self are concerned he has nothing
+resembling a conscience; that under those inspirations he is naively
+indifferent to the restraints of duty and even unaware of them; ready
+to kick the Constitution into the back yard whenever it gets in the way;
+and whenever he smells a vote, not only willing but eager to buy it,
+give extravagant rates for it and pay the bill not out of his own pocket
+or the party's, but out of the nation's, by cold pillage. As per Order
+78 and the appropriation of the Indian trust funds.
+
+But Roosevelt is excusable--I recognize it and (ought to) concede it.
+We are all insane, each in his own way, and with insanity goes
+irresponsibility. Theodore the man is sane; in fairness we ought to
+keep in mind that Theodore, as statesman and politician, is insane and
+irresponsible.
+
+Do not throw these enlightenments aside, but study them, let them raise
+you to higher planes and make you better. You taught me in my callow
+days, let me pay back the debt now in my old age out of a thesaurus with
+wisdom smelted from the golden ores of experience.
+
+ Ever yours for sweetness and light
+ MARK.
+
+
+ The next letter to Twichell takes up politics and humanity in
+ general, in a manner complimentary to neither. Mark Twain was never
+ really a pessimist, but he had pessimistic intervals, such as come
+ to most of us in life's later years, and at such times he let
+ himself go without stint concerning “the damned human race,” as he
+ called it, usually with a manifest sense of indignation that he
+ should be a member of it. In much of his later writing
+ --A Mysterious Stranger for example--he said his say with but small
+ restraint, and certainly in his purely intellectual moments he was
+ likely to be a pessimist of the most extreme type, capably damning
+ the race and the inventor of it. Yet, at heart, no man loved his
+ kind more genuinely, or with deeper compassion, than Mark Twain,
+ perhaps for its very weaknesses. It was only that he had intervals
+ --frequent intervals, and rather long ones--when he did not admire
+ it, and was still more doubtful as to the ways of providence.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ March 14, '05.
+
+DEAR JOE,--I have a Puddn'head maxim:
+
+“When a man is a pessimist before 48 he knows too much; if he is an
+optimist after it, he knows too little.”
+
+It is with contentment, therefore, that I reflect that I am better and
+wiser than you. Joe, you seem to be dealing in “bulks,” now; the “bulk”
+ of the farmers and U. S. Senators are “honest.” As regards purchase and
+sale with money? Who doubts it? Is that the only measure of honesty?
+Aren't there a dozen kinds of honesty which can't be measured by the
+money-standard? Treason is treason--and there's more than one form of
+it; the money-form is but one of them. When a person is disloyal to any
+confessed duty, he is plainly and simply dishonest, and knows it; knows
+it, and is privately troubled about it and not proud of himself. Judged
+by this standard--and who will challenge the validity of it?--there
+isn't an honest man in Connecticut, nor in the Senate, nor anywhere
+else. I do not even except myself, this time.
+
+Am I finding fault with you and the rest of the populace? No--I assure
+you I am not. For I know the human race's limitations, and this makes it
+my duty--my pleasant duty--to be fair to it. Each person in it is honest
+in one or several ways, but no member of it is honest in all the ways
+required by--by what? By his own standard. Outside of that, as I look at
+it, there is no obligation upon him.
+
+Am I honest? I give you my word of honor (private) I am not. For seven
+years I have suppressed a book which my conscience tells me I ought
+to publish. I hold it a duty to publish it. There are other difficult
+duties which I am equal to, but I am not equal to that one. Yes, even I
+am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is.
+We are certainly all honest in one or several ways--every man in the
+world--though I have reason to think I am the only one whose black-list
+runs so light. Sometimes I feel lonely enough in this lofty solitude.
+
+Yes, oh, yes, I am not overlooking the “steady progress from age to age
+of the coming of the kingdom of God and righteousness.” “From age to
+age”--yes, it describes that giddy gait. I (and the rocks) will not live
+to see it arrive, but that is all right--it will arrive, it surely will.
+But you ought not to be always ironically apologizing for the Deity.
+If that thing is going to arrive, it is inferable that He wants it to
+arrive; and so it is not quite kind of you, and it hurts me, to see you
+flinging sarcasms at the gait of it. And yet it would not be fair in
+me not to admit that the sarcasms are deserved. When the Deity wants
+a thing, and after working at it for “ages and ages” can't show even a
+shade of progress toward its accomplishment, we--well, we don't laugh,
+but it is only because we dasn't. The source of “righteousness”--is in
+the heart? Yes. And engineered and directed by the brain? Yes. Well,
+history and tradition testify that the heart is just about what it was
+in the beginning; it has undergone no shade of change. Its good and evil
+impulses and their consequences are the same today that they were in Old
+Bible times, in Egyptian times, in Greek times, in Middle Age times, in
+Twentieth Century times. There has been no change.
+
+Meantime, the brain has undergone no change. It is what it always was.
+There are a few good brains and a multitude of poor ones. It was so in
+Old Bible times and in all other times--Greek, Roman, Middle Ages and
+Twentieth Century. Among the savages--all the savages--the average brain
+is as competent as the average brain here or elsewhere. I will prove it
+to you, some time, if you like. And there are great brains among them,
+too. I will prove that also, if you like.
+
+Well, the 19th century made progress--the first progress after “ages
+and ages”--colossal progress. In what? Materialities. Prodigious
+acquisitions were made in things which add to the comfort of many and
+make life harder for as many more. But the addition to righteousness? Is
+that discoverable? I think not. The materialities were not invented in
+the interest of righteousness; that there is more righteousness in the
+world because of them than there, was before, is hardly demonstrable,
+I think. In Europe and America, there is a vast change (due to them)
+in ideals--do you admire it? All Europe and all America, are feverishly
+scrambling for money. Money is the supreme ideal--all others take tenth
+place with the great bulk of the nations named. Money-lust has always
+existed, but not in the history of the world was it ever a craze, a
+madness, until your time and mine. This lust has rotted these nations;
+it has made them hard, sordid, ungentle, dishonest, oppressive.
+
+Did England rise against the infamy of the Boer war? No--rose in favor
+of it. Did America rise against the infamy of the Phillipine war?
+No--rose in favor of it. Did Russia rise against the infamy of the
+present war? No--sat still and said nothing. Has the Kingdom of God
+advanced in Russia since the beginning of time?
+
+Or in Europe and America, considering the vast backward step of the
+money-lust? Or anywhere else? If there has been any progress
+toward righteousness since the early days of Creation--which, in my
+ineradicable honesty, I am obliged to doubt--I think we must confine it
+to ten per cent of the populations of Christendom, (but leaving, Russia,
+Spain and South America entirely out.) This gives us 320,000,000 to draw
+the ten per cent from. That is to say, 32,000,000 have advanced toward
+righteousness and the Kingdom of God since the “ages and ages” have
+been flying along, the Deity sitting up there admiring. Well, you see
+it leaves 1,200,000,000 out of the race. They stand just where they have
+always stood; there has been no change.
+
+N. B. No charge for these informations. Do come down soon, Joe.
+
+ With love,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ St. Clair McKelway, of The Brooklyn Eagle, narrowly escaped injuries
+ in a railway accident, and received the following. Clemens and
+ McKelway were old friends.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To St. Clair McKelway, in Brooklyn:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVE. Sunday Morning.
+ April 30, 1905.
+
+DEAR McKELWAY, Your innumerable friends are grateful, most grateful.
+
+As I understand the telegrams, the engineer of your train had never seen
+a locomotive before. Very well, then, I am once more glad that there is
+an Ever-watchful Providence to foresee possible results and send Ogdens
+and McIntyres along to save our friends.
+
+The Government's Official report, showing that our railways killed
+twelve hundred persons last year and injured sixty thousand convinces me
+that under present conditions one Providence is not enough to
+properly and efficiently take care of our railroad business. But it is
+characteristically American--always trying to get along short-handed and
+save wages.
+
+I am helping your family congratulate themselves, and am your friend as
+always.
+
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ Clemens did not spend any more summers at Quarry Farm. All its
+ associations were beautiful and tender, but they could only sadden
+ him. The life there had been as of another world, sunlit, idyllic,
+ now forever vanished. For the summer of 1905 he leased the Copley
+ Green house at Dublin, New Hampshire, where there was a Boston
+ colony of writing and artistic folk, including many of his long-time
+ friends. Among them was Colonel Thomas Wentworth Higginson, who
+ wrote a hearty letter of welcome when he heard the news. Clemens
+ replied in kind.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Col. Thomas Wentworth Higginson, in Boston:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVE. Sunday, March 26, 1905.
+
+DEAR COL. HIGGINSON,--I early learned that you would be my neighbor in
+the Summer and I rejoiced, recognizing in you and your family a large
+asset. I hope for frequent intercourse between the two households. I
+shall have my youngest daughter with me. The other one will go from the
+rest-cure in this city to the rest-cure in Norfolk Conn and we shall not
+see her before autumn. We have not seen her since the middle of October.
+
+Jean (the youngest daughter) went to Dublin and saw the house and came
+back charmed with it. I know the Thayers of old--manifestly there is no
+lack of attractions up there. Mrs. Thayer and I were shipmates in a wild
+excursion perilously near 40 years ago.
+
+You say you “send with this” the story. Then it should be here but it
+isn't, when I send a thing with another thing, the other thing goes but
+the thing doesn't, I find it later--still on the premises. Will you look
+it up now and send it?
+
+Aldrich was here half an hour ago, like a breeze from over the fields,
+with the fragrance still upon his spirit. I am tired of waiting for that
+man to get old.
+
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+ Mark Twain was in his seventieth year, old neither in mind nor body,
+ but willing to take life more quietly, to refrain from travel and
+ gay events. A sort of pioneers' reunion was to be held on the
+ Pacific Coast, and a letter from Robert Fulton, of Reno, Nevada,
+ invited Clemens to attend. He did not go, but he sent a letter that
+ we may believe was the next best thing to those who heard it read.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Robert Fulton, in Reno, Nevada:
+
+ IN THE MOUNTAINS,
+ May 24, 1905.
+
+DEAR MR. FULTON,--I remember, as if it were yesterday, that when I
+disembarked from the overland stage in front of the Ormsby in Carson
+City in August, 1861, I was not expecting to be asked to come again.
+I was tired, discouraged, white with alkali dust, and did not know
+anybody; and if you had said then, “Cheer up, desolate stranger, don't
+be down-hearted--pass on, and come again in 1905,” you cannot think
+how grateful I would have been and how gladly I would have closed the
+contract. Although I was not expecting to be invited, I was watching
+out for it, and was hurt and disappointed when you started to ask me and
+changed it to, “How soon are you going away?”
+
+But you have made it all right, now, the wound is closed. And so I thank
+you sincerely for the invitation; and with you, all Reno, and if I were
+a few years younger I would accept it, and promptly. I would go. I would
+let somebody else do the oration, but, as for me, I would talk--just
+talk. I would renew my youth; and talk--and talk--and talk--and have
+the time of my life! I would march the unforgotten and unforgettable
+antiques by, and name their names, and give them reverent
+Hailand-farewell as they passed: Goodman, McCarthy, Gillis, Curry,
+Baldwin, Winters, Howard, Nye, Stewart; Neely Johnson, Hal Clayton,
+North, Root,--and my brother, upon whom be peace!--and then the
+desperadoes, who made life a joy and the “Slaughter-house” a precious
+possession: Sam Brown, Farmer Pete, Bill Mayfield, Six-fingered Jake,
+Jack Williams and the rest of the crimson discipleship--and so on and so
+on. Believe me, I would start a resurrection it would do you more good
+to look at than the next one will, if you go on the way you are doing
+now.
+
+Those were the days! those old ones. They will come no more. Youth will
+come no more. They were so full to the brim with the wine of life; there
+have been no others like them. It chokes me up to think of them. Would
+you like me to come out there and cry? It would not beseem my white
+head.
+
+Good-bye. I drink to you all. Have a good time--and take an old man's
+blessing.
+
+ MARK TWAIN.
+
+
+ A few days later he was writing to H. H. Bancroft, of San Francisco,
+ who had invited him for a visit in event of his coming to the Coast.
+ Henry James had just been there for a week and it was hoped that
+ Howells would soon follow.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To H. H. Bancroft, in San Francisco:
+
+ UP IN NEW HAMPSHIRE,
+ May 27, 1905.
+
+DEAR MR. BANCROFT,--I thank you sincerely for the tempting hospitalities
+which you offer me, but I have to deny myself, for my wandering days are
+over, and it is my desire and purpose to sit by the fire the rest of
+my remnant of life and indulge myself with the pleasure and repose of
+work--work uninterrupted and unmarred by duties or excursions.
+
+A man who like me, is going to strike 70 on the 30th of next November
+has no business to be flitting around the way Howells does--that
+shameless old fictitious butter fly. (But if he comes, don't tell him
+I said it, for it would hurt him and I wouldn't brush a flake of powder
+from his wing for anything. I only say it in envy of his indestructible
+youth, anyway. Howells will be 88 in October.) With thanks again,
+
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+ Clemens found that the air of the New Hampshire hills agreed with
+ him and stimulated him to work. He began an entirely new version of
+ The Mysterious Stranger, of which he already had a bulky and nearly
+ finished manuscript, written in Vienna. He wrote several hundred
+ pages of an extravaganza entitled, Three Thousand Years Among the
+ Microbes, and then, having got his superabundant vitality reduced
+ (it was likely to expend itself in these weird mental exploits),
+ he settled down one day and wrote that really tender and beautiful
+ idyl, Eve's Diary, which he had begun, or at least planned, the
+ previous summer at Tyringham. In a letter to Mr. Frederick A.
+ Duneka, general manager of Harper & Brothers, he tells something of
+ the manner of the story; also his revised opinion of Adam's Diary,
+ written in '93, and originally published as a souvenir of Niagara
+ Falls.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Frederick A. Duneka, in New York:
+
+ DUBLIN, July 16, '05.
+
+DEAR MR. DUNEKA,--I wrote Eve's Diary, she using Adam's Diary as her
+(unwitting and unconscious) text, of course, since to use any other text
+would have been an imbecility--then I took Adam's Diary and read it.
+It turned my stomach. It was not literature; yet it had been literature
+once--before I sold it to be degraded to an advertisement of the Buffalo
+Fair. I was going to write and ask you to melt the plates and put it out
+of print.
+
+But this morning I examined it without temper, and saw that if I
+abolished the advertisement it would be literature again.
+
+So I have done it. I have struck out 700 words and inserted 5 MS pages
+of new matter (650 words), and now Adam's Diary is dam good--sixty times
+as good as it ever was before.
+
+I believe it is as good as Eve's Diary now--no, it's not quite that
+good, I guess, but it is good enough to go in the same cover with Eve's.
+I'm sure of that.
+
+I hate to have the old Adam go out any more--don't put it on the presses
+again, let's put the new one in place of it; and next Xmas, let us bind
+Adam and Eve in one cover. They score points against each other--so, if
+not bound together, some of the points would not be perceived.....
+
+P. S. Please send another Adam's Diary, so that I can make 2 revised
+copies. Eve's Diary is Eve's love-Story, but we will not name it that.
+
+ Yrs ever,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ The peace-making at Portsmouth between Japan and Russia was not
+ satisfactory to Mark Twain, who had fondly hoped there would be no
+ peace until, as he said, “Russian liberty was safe. One more battle
+ would have abolished the waiting chains of millions upon millions of
+ unborn Russians and I wish it could have been fought.” He set down
+ an expression of his feelings for the Associated Press, and it
+ invited many letters. Charles Francis Adams wrote, “It attracted my
+ attention because it so exactly expresses the views I have myself
+ all along entertained.”
+
+ Clemens was invited by Colonel George Harvey to dine with the
+ Russian emissaries, Baron Rosen and Sergius Witte. He declined, but
+ his telegram so pleased Witte that he asked permission to publish
+ it, and announced that he would show it to the Czar.
+
+
+ Telegram. To Col. George Harvey, in New York:
+
+TO COLONEL HARVEY,--I am still a cripple, otherwise I should be more
+than glad of this opportunity to meet the illustrious magicians who
+came here equipped with nothing but a pen, and with it have divided the
+honors of the war with the sword. It is fair to presume that in thirty
+centuries history will not get done admiring these men who attempted
+what the world regarded as impossible and achieved it.
+
+ Witte would not have cared to show the Czar the telegram in its
+ original form, which follows.
+
+
+ Telegram (unsent). To Col. George Harvey, in New York:
+
+TO COLONEL HARVEY,--I am still a cripple, otherwise I should be more
+than glad of this opportunity to meet those illustrious magicians
+who with the pen have annulled, obliterated, and abolished every high
+achievement of the Japanese sword and turned the tragedy of a tremendous
+war into a gay and blithesome comedy. If I may, let me in all respect
+and honor salute them as my fellow-humorists, I taking third place, as
+becomes one who was not born to modesty, but by diligence and hard work
+is acquiring it. MARK.
+
+ Nor still another unsent form, perhaps more characteristic than
+ either of the foregoing.
+
+ Telegram (unsent). To Col. George Harvey, in New York:
+
+
+DEAR COLONEL,--No, this is a love-feast; when you call a lodge of sorrow
+send for me.
+
+ MARK.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Mrs. Crane, Quarry Farm:
+
+ DUBLIN, Sept. 24, '05.
+
+Susy dear, I have had a lovely dream. Livy, dressed in black, was
+sitting up in my bed (here) at my right and looking as young and sweet
+as she used to do when she was in health. She said: “what is the name of
+your sweet sister?” I said, “Pamela.” “Oh, yes, that is it, I thought it
+was--” (naming a name which has escaped me) “Won't you write it down for
+me?” I reached eagerly for a pen and pad--laid my hands upon both--then
+said to myself, “It is only a dream,” and turned back sorrowfully and
+there she was, still. The conviction flamed through me that our lamented
+disaster was a dream, and this a reality. I said, “How blessed it is,
+how blessed it is, it was all a dream, only a dream!” She only smiled
+and did not ask what dream I meant, which surprised me. She leaned her
+head against mine and I kept saying, “I was perfectly sure it was a
+dream, I never would have believed it wasn't.”
+
+I think she said several things, but if so they are gone from my memory.
+I woke and did not know I had been dreaming. She was gone. I wondered
+how she could go without my knowing it, but I did not spend any thought
+upon that, I was too busy thinking of how vivid and real was the dream
+that we had lost her and how unspeakably blessed it was to find that it
+was not true and that she was still ours and with us.
+
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+ One day that summer Mark Twain received a letter from the actress,
+ Minnie Maddern Fiske, asking him to write something that would aid
+ her in her crusade against bull-fighting. The idea appealed to him;
+ he replied at once.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Mrs. Fiske:
+
+
+DEAR MRS. FISKE,--I shall certainly write the story. But I may not get
+it to suit me, in which case it will go in the fire. Later I will try
+again--and yet again--and again. I am used to this. It has taken me
+twelve years to write a short story--the shortest one I ever wrote, I
+think.--[Probably “The Death Disk.”]--So do not be discouraged; I will
+stick to this one in the same way. Sincerely yours,
+
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ He did not delay in his beginning, and a few weeks later was sending
+ word to his publisher about it.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Frederick A. Duneka, in New York:
+
+ Oct. 2, '05.
+
+DEAR MR. DUNEKA,--I have just finished a short story which I “greatly
+admire,” and so will you--“A Horse's Tale”--about 15,000 words, at
+a rough guess. It has good fun in it, and several characters, and is
+lively. I shall finish revising it in a few days or more, then Jean will
+type it.
+
+Don't you think you can get it into the Jan. and Feb. numbers and issue
+it as a dollar booklet just after the middle of Jan. when you issue the
+Feb. number?
+
+It ought to be ably illustrated.
+
+Why not sell simultaneous rights, for this once, to the Ladies' Home
+Journal or Collier's, or both, and recoup yourself?--for I would like
+to get it to classes that can't afford Harper's. Although it doesn't
+preach, there's a sermon concealed in it.
+
+ Yr sincerely,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ Five days later he added some rather interesting facts concerning
+ the new story.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To F. A. Duneka, in New York:
+
+ Oct. 7, 1906. ['05]
+
+DEAR MR. DUNEKA,--... I've made a poor guess as to number of words.
+I think there must be 20,000. My usual page of MS. contains about 130
+words; but when I am deeply interested in my work and dead to everything
+else, my hand-writing shrinks and shrinks until there's a great deal
+more than 130 on a page--oh, yes, a deal more. Well, I discover, this
+morning, that this tale is written in that small hand.
+
+This strong interest is natural, for the heroine is my daughter, Susy,
+whom we lost. It was not intentional--it was a good while before I found
+it out.
+
+So I am sending you her picture to use--and to reproduce with
+photographic exactness the unsurpassable expression and all. May you
+find an artist who has lost an idol!
+
+Take as good care of the picture as you can and restore it to me when I
+come.
+
+I hope you will illustrate this tale considerably. Not humorous
+pictures. No. When they are good (or bad) one's humor gets no chance to
+play surprises on the reader. A humorous subject illustrated seriously
+is all right, but a humorous artist is no fit person for such work. You
+see, the humorous writer pretends to absolute seriousness (when he
+knows his trade) then for an artist--to step in and give his calculated
+gravity all away with a funny picture--oh, my land! It gives me the dry
+gripes just to think of it. It would be just about up to the average
+comic artist's intellectual level to make a funny picture of the horse
+kicking the lungs out of a trader. Hang it, the remark is funny--because
+the horse is not aware of it but the fact is not humorous, it is tragic
+and it is no subject for a humorous picture.
+
+Could I be allowed to sit in judgment upon the pictures before they are
+accepted--at least those in which Cathy may figure?
+
+This is not essential. It is but a suggestion, and it is hereby
+withdrawn, if it would be troublesome or cause delay.
+
+I hope you will reproduce the cat-pile, full page. And save the photo
+for me in as good condition as possible. When Susy and Clara were little
+tots those cats had their profoundest worship, and there is no duplicate
+of this picture. These cats all had thundering names, or inappropriate
+ones--furnished by the children with my help. One was named Buffalo
+Bill.
+
+Are you interested in coincidences?
+
+After discovering, about the middle of the book, that Cathy was Susy
+Clemens, I put her picture with my MS., to be reproduced. After the book
+was finished it was discovered that Susy had a dim model of Soldier Boy
+in her arms; I had forgotten all about that toy.
+
+Then I examined the cat-picture and laid it with the MS. for
+introduction; but it was not until yesterday that I remembered that one
+of the cats was named Buffalo Bill.
+
+ Sincerely yours,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ The reference in this letter to shrinkage of his hand-writing with
+ the increasing intensity of his interest, and the consequent
+ addition of the number of words to the page, recalls another fact,
+ noted by Mr. Duneka, viz.: that because of his terse Anglo-Saxon
+ diction, Mark Twain could put more words on a magazine page than any
+ other writer. It is hardly necessary to add that he got more force
+ into what he put on the page for the same reason.
+
+ There was always a run of reporters at Mark Twain's New York home.
+ His opinion was sought for on every matter of public interest, and
+ whatever happened to him in particular was considered good for at
+ least half a column of copy, with his name as a catch-line at the
+ top. When it was learned that he was to spend the summer in New
+ Hampshire, the reporters had all wanted to find out about it. Now
+ that the summer was ending, they began to want to know how he had
+ liked it, what work he had done and what were his plans for another
+ year. As they frequently applied to his publishers for these
+ details it was finally suggested to him that he write a letter
+ furnishing the required information. His reply, handed to Mr.
+ Duneka, who was visiting him at the moment, is full of interest.
+
+
+ Mem. for Mr. Duneka:
+
+ DUBLIN, Oct. 9, 1905.
+
+... As to the other matters, here are the details.
+
+Yes, I have tried a number of summer homes, here and in Europe together.
+
+Each of these homes had charms of its own; charms and delights of its
+own, and some of them--even in Europe had comforts. Several of them had
+conveniences, too. They all had a “view.”
+
+It is my conviction that there should always be some water in a view--a
+lake or a river, but not the ocean, if you are down on its level. I
+think that when you are down on its level it seldom inflames you with an
+ecstasy which you could not get out of a sand-flat. It is like being on
+board ship, over again; indeed it is worse than that, for there's three
+months of it. On board ship one tires of the aspects in a couple of
+days, and quits looking. The same vast circle of heaving humps is spread
+around you all the time, with you in the centre of it and never gaining
+an inch on the horizon, so far as you can see; for variety, a flight
+of flying-fish, mornings; a flock of porpoises throwing summersaults
+afternoons; a remote whale spouting, Sundays; occasional phosphorescent
+effects, nights; every other day a streak of black smoke trailing along
+under the horizon; on the one single red letter day, the illustrious
+iceberg. I have seen that iceberg thirty-four times in thirty-seven
+voyages; it is always the same shape, it is always the same size, it
+always throws up the same old flash when the sun strikes it; you may set
+it on any New York door-step of a June morning and light it up with a
+mirror-flash; and I will engage to recognize it. It is artificial, and
+it is provided and anchored out by the steamer companies. I used to like
+the sea, but I was young then, and could easily get excited over any
+kind of monotony, and keep it up till the monotonies ran out, if it was
+a fortnight.
+
+Last January, when we were beginning to inquire about a home for this
+summer, I remembered that Abbott Thayer had said, three years before,
+that the New Hampshire highlands was a good place. He was right--it was
+a good place. Any place that is good for an artist in paint is good
+for an artist in morals and ink. Brush is here, too; so is Col. T. W.
+Higginson; so is Raphael Pumpelly; so is Mr. Secretary Hitchcock; so is
+Henderson; so is Learned; so is Summer; so is Franklin MacVeigh; so is
+Joseph L. Smith; so is Henry Copley Greene, when I am not occupying
+his house, which I am doing this season. Paint, literature, science,
+statesmanship, history, professorship, law, morals,--these are all
+represented here, yet crime is substantially unknown.
+
+The summer homes of these refugees are sprinkled, a mile apart, among
+the forest-clad hills, with access to each other by firm smooth country
+roads which are so embowered in dense foliage that it is always twilight
+in there, and comfortable. The forests are spider-webbed with these good
+roads, they go everywhere; but for the help of the guide-boards, the
+stranger would not arrive anywhere.
+
+The village--Dublin--is bunched together in its own place, but a good
+telephone service makes its markets handy to all those outliars. I
+have spelt it that way to be witty. The village executes orders on, the
+Boston plan--promptness and courtesy.
+
+The summer homes are high-perched, as a rule, and have contenting
+outlooks. The house we occupy has one. Monadnock, a soaring double hump,
+rises into the sky at its left elbow--that is to say, it is close at
+hand. From the base of the long slant of the mountain the valley spreads
+away to the circling frame of the hills, and beyond the frame the
+billowy sweep of remote great ranges rises to view and flows, fold upon
+fold, wave upon wave, soft and blue and unwordly, to the horizon fifty
+miles away. In these October days Monadnock and the valley and its
+framing hills make an inspiring picture to look at, for they are
+sumptuously splashed and mottled and be-torched from sky-line to
+sky-line with the richest dyes the autumn can furnish; and when they lie
+flaming in the full drench of the mid-afternoon sun, the sight affects
+the spectator physically, it stirs his blood like military music.
+
+These summer homes are commodious, well built, and well furnished--facts
+which sufficiently indicate that the owners built them to live in
+themselves. They have furnaces and wood fireplaces, and the rest of
+the comforts and conveniences of a city home, and can be comfortably
+occupied all the year round.
+
+We cannot have this house next season, but I have secured Mrs. Upton's
+house which is over in the law and science quarter, two or three miles
+from here, and about the same distance from the art, literary, and
+scholastic groups. The science and law quarter has needed improving,
+this good while.
+
+The nearest railway-station is distant something like an hour's drive;
+it is three hours from there to Boston, over a branch line. You can go
+to New York in six hours per branch lines if you change cars every time
+you think of it, but it is better to go to Boston and stop over and take
+the trunk line next day, then you do not get lost.
+
+It is claimed that the atmosphere of the New Hampshire highlands is
+exceptionally bracing and stimulating, and a fine aid to hard and
+continuous work. It is a just claim, I think. I came in May, and wrought
+35 successive days without a break. It is possible that I could not have
+done it elsewhere. I do not know; I have not had any disposition to try
+it, before. I think I got the disposition out of the atmosphere, this
+time. I feel quite sure, in fact, that that is where it came from.
+
+I am ashamed to confess what an intolerable pile of manuscript I ground
+out in the 35 days, therefore I will keep the number of words to myself.
+I wrote the first half of a long tale--“The Adventures of a Microbe”
+ and put it away for a finish next summer, and started another long
+tale--“The Mysterious Stranger;” I wrote the first half of it and put
+it with the other for a finish next summer. I stopped, then. I was not
+tired, but I had no books on hand that needed finishing this year except
+one that was seven years old. After a little I took that one up and
+finished it. Not for publication, but to have it ready for revision next
+summer.
+
+Since I stopped work I have had a two months' holiday. The summer has
+been my working time for 35 years; to have a holiday in it (in America)
+is new for me. I have not broken it, except to write “Eve's Diary” and
+“A Horse's Tale”--short things occupying the mill 12 days.
+
+This year our summer is 6 months long and ends with November and the
+flight home to New York, but next year we hope and expect to stretch it
+another month and end it the first of December.
+
+ [No signature.]
+
+
+ The fact that he was a persistent smoker was widely known, and many
+ friends and admirers of Mark Twain sent him cigars, most of which he
+ could not use, because they were too good. He did not care for
+ Havana cigars, but smoked the fragrant, inexpensive domestic tobacco
+ with plenty of “pep” in it, as we say today. Now and then he had an
+ opportunity to head off some liberal friend, who wrote asking
+ permission to contribute to his cigar collection, as instance the
+ following.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Rev. L. M. Powers, in Haverhill, Mass.:
+
+ Nov. 9, 1905.
+
+DEAR MR. POWERS,--I should accept your hospitable offer at once but for
+the fact I couldn't do it and remain honest. That is to say if I allowed
+you to send me what you believe to be good cigars it would distinctly
+mean that I meant to smoke them, whereas I should do nothing of the
+kind. I know a good cigar better than you do, for I have had 60 years
+experience.
+
+No, that is not what I mean; I mean I know a bad cigar better than
+anybody else; I judge by the price only; if it costs above 5 cents I
+know it to be either foreign or half-foreign, and unsmokeable. By me I
+have many boxes of Havana cigars, of all prices from 20 cts apiece up to
+1.66 apiece; I bought none of them, they were all presents, they are an
+accumulation of several years. I have never smoked one of them and never
+shall, I work them off on the visitor. You shall have a chance when you
+come.
+
+Pessimists are born not made; optimists are born not made; but no man
+is born either pessimist wholly or optimist wholly, perhaps; he is
+pessimistic along certain lines and optimistic along certain others.
+That is my case.
+
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ In spite of all the fine photographs that were made of him, there
+ recurred constantly among those sent him to be autographed a print
+ of one which, years before, Sarony had made and placed on public
+ sale. It was a good photograph, mechanically and even artistically,
+ but it did not please Mark Twain. Whenever he saw it he recalled
+ Sarony with bitterness and severity. Once he received an inquiry
+ concerning it, and thus feelingly expressed himself.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Mr. Row (no address):
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK,
+ November 14, 1905.
+
+DEAR MR. ROW,--That alleged portrait has a private history. Sarony was
+as much of an enthusiast about wild animals as he was about photography;
+and when Du Chaillu brought the first Gorilla to this country in 1819
+he came to me in a fever of excitement and asked me if my father was of
+record and authentic. I said he was; then Sarony, without any abatement
+of his excitement asked if my grandfather also was of record and
+authentic. I said he was. Then Sarony, with still rising excitement
+and with joy added to it, said he had found my great grandfather in the
+person of the gorilla, and had recognized him at once by his resemblance
+to me. I was deeply hurt but did not reveal this, because I knew Saxony
+meant no offense for the gorilla had not done him any harm, and he was
+not a man who would say an unkind thing about a gorilla wantonly. I went
+with him to inspect the ancestor, and examined him from several points
+of view, without being able to detect anything more than a passing
+resemblance. “Wait,” said Sarony with confidence, “let me show you.”
+ He borrowed my overcoat--and put it on the gorilla. The result was
+surprising. I saw that the gorilla while not looking distinctly like me
+was exactly what my great grand father would have looked like if I had
+had one. Sarong photographed the creature in that overcoat, and spread
+the picture about the world. It has remained spread about the world ever
+since. It turns up every week in some newspaper somewhere or other. It
+is not my favorite, but to my exasperation it is everybody else's. Do
+you think you could get it suppressed for me? I will pay the limit.
+
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ The year 1905 closed triumphantly for Mark Twain. The great
+ “Seventieth Birthday” dinner planned by Colonel George Harvey is
+ remembered to-day as the most notable festival occasion in New York
+ literary history. Other dinners and ovations followed. At seventy
+ he had returned to the world, more beloved, more honored than ever
+ before.
+
+
+
+
+XLV. LETTERS, 1906, TO VARIOUS PERSONS. THE FAREWELL LECTURE. A SECOND
+SUMMER IN DUBLIN. BILLIARDS AND COPYRIGHT.
+
+ MARK TWAIN at “Pier Seventy,” as he called it, paused to look
+ backward and to record some memoirs of his long, eventful past. The
+ Autobiography dictations begun in Florence were resumed, and daily
+ he traveled back, recalling long-ago scenes and all-but-forgotten
+ places. He was not without reminders. Now and again there came
+ some message that brought back the old days--the Tom Sawyer and Huck
+ Finn days--or the romance of the river that he never recalled other
+ than with tenderness and a tone of regret that it was gone. An
+ invitation to the golden wedding of two ancient friends moved and
+ saddened him, and his answer to it conveys about all the story of
+ life.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Mr. and Mrs. Gordon:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVENUE,
+ Jan. 24, '06.
+
+DEAR GORDONS,--I have just received your golden-wedding “At Home” and
+am trying to adjust my focus to it and realize how much it means. It is
+inconceivable! With a simple sweep it carries me back over a stretch of
+time measurable only in astronomical terms and geological periods. It
+brings before me Mrs. Gordon, young, round-limbed, handsome; and
+with her the Youngbloods and their two babies, and Laura Wright, that
+unspoiled little maid, that fresh flower of the woods and the prairies.
+Forty-eight years ago!
+
+Life was a fairy-tale, then, it is a tragedy now. When I was 43 and John
+Hay 41 he said life was a tragedy after 40, and I disputed it. Three
+years ago he asked me to testify again: I counted my graves, and there
+was nothing for me to say.
+
+I am old; I recognize it but I don't realize it. I wonder if a person
+ever really ceases to feel young--I mean, for a whole day at a time. My
+love to you both, and to all of us that are left.
+
+ MARK.
+
+
+ Though he used very little liquor of any kind, it was Mark Twain's
+ custom to keep a bottle of Scotch whiskey with his collection of
+ pipes and cigars and tobacco on a little table by his bed-side.
+ During restless nights he found a small quantity of it conducive to
+ sleep. Andrew Carnegie, learning of this custom, made it his
+ business to supply Scotch of his own special importation. The first
+ case came, direct from Scotland. When it arrived Clemens sent this
+ characteristic acknowledgment.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Andrew Carnegie, in Scotland:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVE. Feb. 10, '06.
+
+DEAR ST. ANDREW,--The whisky arrived in due course from over the water;
+last week one bottle of it was extracted from the wood and inserted into
+me, on the instalment plan, with this result: that I believe it to be
+the best, smoothest whisky now on the planet. Thanks, oh, thanks: I have
+discarded Peruna.
+
+Hoping that you three are well and happy and will be coming back before
+the winter sets in.
+
+ I am,
+ Sincerely yours,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ It must have been a small bottle to be consumed by him in a week, or
+ perhaps he had able assistance. The next brief line refers to the
+ manuscript of his article, “Saint Joan of Arc,” presented to the
+ museum at Rouen.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Edward E. Clarke:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVE., Feb., 1906.
+
+DEAR SIR,--I have found the original manuscript and with great pleasure
+I transmit it herewith, also a printed copy.
+
+It is a matter of great pride to me to have any word of mine concerning
+the world's supremest heroine honored by a place in that Museum.
+
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ The series of letters which follows was prepared by Mark Twain and
+ General Fred Grant, mainly with a view of advertising the lecture
+ that Clemens had agreed to deliver for the benefit of the Robert
+ Fulton Monument Association. It was, in fact, to be Mark Twain's
+ “farewell lecture,” and the association had really proposed to pay
+ him a thousand dollars for it. The exchange of these letters,
+ however, was never made outside of Mark Twain's bed-room. Propped
+ against the pillows, pen in hand, with General Grant beside him,
+ they arranged the series with the idea of publication. Later the
+ plan was discarded, so that this pleasant foolery appears here for
+ the first, time.
+
+
+ PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL
+
+ (Correspondence)
+
+ Telegram
+
+ Army Headquarters (date)
+MARK TWAIN, New York,--Would you consider a proposal to talk at Carnegie
+Hall for the benefit of the Robert Fulton Monument Association, of which
+you are a Vice President, for a fee of a thousand dollars?
+
+ F. D. GRANT,
+ President,
+ Fulton Monument Association.
+
+
+ Telegraphic Answer:
+
+MAJOR-GENERAL F. D. GRANT, Army Headquarters,--I shall be glad to do it,
+but I must stipulate that you keep the thousand dollars and add it to
+the Monument fund as my contribution.
+
+ CLEMENS.
+
+
+Letters:
+
+
+DEAR MR. CLEMENS,--You have the thanks of the Association, and the
+terms shall be as you say. But why give all of it? Why not reserve a
+portion--why should you do this work wholly without compensation?
+
+ Truly yours
+ FRED. D. GRANT.
+
+
+MAJOR GENERAL GRANT, Army Headquarters.
+
+
+DEAR GENERAL,--Because I stopped talking for pay a good many years ago,
+and I could not resume the habit now without a great deal of personal
+discomfort. I love to hear myself talk, because I get so much
+instruction and moral upheaval out of it, but I lose the bulk of this
+joy when I charge for it. Let the terms stand.
+
+General, if I have your approval, I wish to use this good occasion to
+retire permanently from the platform.
+
+ Truly yours
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+
+DEAR MR. CLEMENS,--Certainly. But as an old friend, permit me to say,
+Don't do that. Why should you?--you are not old yet.
+
+ Yours truly,
+ FRED D. GRANT.
+
+
+
+DEAR GENERAL,--I mean the pay-platform; I shan't retire from the
+gratis-platform until after I am dead and courtesy requires me to keep
+still and not disturb the others.
+
+What shall I talk about? My idea is this: to instruct the audience about
+Robert Fulton, and.... Tell me--was that his real name, or was it his
+nom de plume? However, never mind, it is not important--I can skip it,
+and the house will think I knew all about it, but forgot. Could you find
+out for me if he was one of the Signers of the Declaration, and which
+one? But if it is any trouble, let it alone, I can skip it. Was he out
+with Paul Jones? Will you ask Horace Porter? And ask him if he brought
+both of them home. These will be very interesting facts, if they can be
+established. But never mind, don't trouble Porter, I can establish them
+anyway. The way I look at it, they are historical gems--gems of the very
+first water.
+
+Well, that is my idea, as I have said: first, excite the audience with
+a spoonful of information about Fulton, then quiet down with a barrel
+of illustration drawn by memory from my books--and if you don't say
+anything the house will think they never heard of it before, because
+people don't really read your books, they only say they do, to keep
+you from feeling bad. Next, excite the house with another spoonful
+of Fultonian fact, then tranquilize them again with another barrel of
+illustration. And so on and so on, all through the evening; and if you
+are discreet and don't tell them the illustrations don't illustrate
+anything, they won't notice it and I will send them home as
+well-informed about Robert Fulton as I am myself. Don't be afraid; I
+know all about audiences, they believe everything you say, except when
+you are telling the truth.
+
+ Truly yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+P.S. Mark all the advertisements “Private and Confidential,” otherwise
+the people will not read them.
+
+ M. T.
+
+
+
+DEAR MR. CLEMENS,--How long shall you talk? I ask in order that we may
+be able to say when carriages may be called.
+
+ Very Truly yours,
+ HUGH GORDON MILLER,
+ Secretary.
+
+
+
+DEAR MR. MILLER,--I cannot say for sure. It is my custom to keep on
+talking till I get the audience cowed. Sometimes it takes an hour and
+fifteen minutes, sometimes I can do it in an hour.
+
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+Mem. My charge is 2 boxes free. Not the choicest--sell the choicest, and
+give me any 6-seat boxes you please.
+
+ S. L. C.
+
+I want Fred Grant (in uniform) on the stage; also the rest of the
+officials of the Association; also other distinguished people--all the
+attractions we can get. Also, a seat for Mr. Albert Bigelow Paine, who
+may be useful to me if he is near me and on the front.
+
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+ The seat chosen for the writer of these notes was to be at the front
+ of the stage in order that the lecturer might lean over now and then
+ and pretend to be asking information concerning Fulton. I was not
+ entirely happy in the thought of this showy honor, and breathed more
+ freely when this plan was abandoned and the part assigned to General
+ Grant.
+
+ The lecture was given in Carnegie Hall, which had been gayly
+ decorated for the occasion. The house was more than filled, and a
+ great sum of money was realized for the fund.
+
+ It was that spring that Gorky and Tchaikowski, the Russian
+ revolutionists, came to America hoping to arouse interest in their
+ cause. The idea of the overthrow of the Russian dynasty was
+ pleasant to Mark Twain. Few things would have given him greater
+ comfort than to have known that a little more than ten years would
+ see the downfall of Russian imperialism. The letter which follows
+ was a reply to an invitation from Tchaikowski, urging him to speak
+ at one of the meetings.
+
+
+
+DEAR MR. TCHAIKOWSKI,--I thank you for the honor of the invitation,
+but I am not able to accept it, because on Thursday evening I shall be
+presiding at a meeting whose object is to find remunerative work for
+certain classes of our blind who would gladly support themselves if they
+had the opportunity.
+
+My sympathies are with the Russian revolution, of course. It goes
+without saying. I hope it will succeed, and now that I have talked with
+you I take heart to believe it will. Government by falsified promises;
+by lies, by treacheries, and by the butcher-knife for the aggrandizement
+of a single family of drones and its idle and vicious kin has been borne
+quite long enough in Russia, I should think, and it is to be hoped that
+the roused nation, now rising in its strength, will presently put an
+end to it and set up the republic in its place. Some of us, even of the
+white headed, may live to see the blessed day when Czars and Grand Dukes
+will be as scarce there as I trust they are in heaven.
+
+ Most sincerely yours,
+ MARK TWAIN.
+
+
+ There came another summer at Dublin, New Hampshire, this time in the
+ fine Upton residence on the other slope of Monadnock, a place of
+ equally beautiful surroundings, and an even more extended view.
+ Clemens was at this time working steadily on his so-called
+ Autobiography, which was not that, in fact, but a series of
+ remarkable chapters, reminiscent, reflective, commentative, written
+ without any particular sequence as to time or subject-matter. He
+ dictated these chapters to a stenographer, usually in the open air,
+ sitting in a comfortable rocker or pacing up and down the long
+ veranda that faced a vast expanse of wooded slope and lake and
+ distant blue mountains. It became one of the happiest occupations
+ of his later years.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To W. D. Howells, in Maine:
+
+ DUBLIN, Sunday, June 17, '06.
+
+DEAR HOWELLS,--..... The dictating goes lazily and pleasantly on. With
+intervals. I find that I have been at it, off and on, nearly two hours a
+day for 155 days, since Jan. 9. To be exact I've dictated 75 hours in 80
+days and loafed 75 days. I've added 60,000 words in the month that I've
+been here; which indicates that I've dictated during 20 days of that
+time--40 hours, at an average of 1,500 words an hour. It's a plenty, and
+I am satisfied.
+
+There's a good deal of “fat” I've dictated, (from Jan. 9) 210,000 words,
+and the “fat” adds about 50,000 more.
+
+The “fat” is old pigeon-holed things, of the years gone by, which I or
+editors didn't das't to print. For instance, I am dumping in the little
+old book which I read to you in Hartford about 30 years ago and which
+you said “publish--and ask Dean Stanley to furnish an introduction;
+he'll do it.” (“Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven.”) It reads quite
+to suit me, without altering a word, now that it isn't to see print
+until I am dead.
+
+To-morrow I mean to dictate a chapter which will get my heirs and
+assigns burnt alive if they venture to print it this side of 2006
+A.D.--which I judge they won't. There'll be lots of such chapters if I
+live 3 or 4 years longer. The edition of A.D. 2006 will make a stir when
+it comes out. I shall be hovering around taking notice, along with other
+dead pals. You are invited.
+
+ MARK.
+
+ His tendency to estimate the measure of the work he was doing, and
+ had completed, must have clung to him from his old printer days.
+
+ The chapter which was to get his heirs and assigns burned alive was
+ on the orthodox God, and there was more than one such chapter. In
+ the next letter he refers to two exquisite poems by Howells, and the
+ writer of these notes recalls his wonderful reading of them aloud.
+ 'In Our Town' was a collection of short stories then recently issued
+ by William Allen White. Howells had recommended them.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To W. D. Howells, in Maine:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVE., Tuesday Eve.
+
+DEAR HOWELLS,--It is lovely of you to say those beautiful things--I
+don't know how to thank you enough. But I love you, that I know.
+
+I read “After the Wedding” aloud and we felt all the pain of it and
+the truth. It was very moving and very beautiful--would have been
+over-comingly moving, at times, but for the haltings and pauses
+compelled by the difficulties of MS--these were a protection, in that
+they furnished me time to brace up my voice, and get a new start. Jean
+wanted to keep the MS for another reading-aloud, and for “keeps,” too, I
+suspected, but I said it would be safest to write you about it.
+
+I like “In Our Town,” particularly that Colonel, of the Lookout Mountain
+Oration, and very particularly pages 212-16. I wrote and told White so.
+
+After “After the Wedding” I read “The Mother” aloud and sounded its
+human deeps with your deep-sea lead. I had not read it before, since it
+was first published.
+
+I have been dictating some fearful things, for 4 successive
+mornings--for no eye but yours to see until I have been dead a
+century--if then. But I got them out of my system, where they had been
+festering for years--and that was the main thing. I feel better, now.
+
+I came down today on business--from house to house in 12 1/2 hours, and
+expected to arrive dead, but am neither tired nor sleepy.
+
+ Yours as always
+ MARK.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To William Allen White, in Emporia, Kans.:
+
+ DUBLIN, NEW HAMPSHIRE,
+ June 24, 1906.
+
+DEAR MR. WHITE,--Howells told me that “In Our Town” was a charming book,
+and indeed it is. All of it is delightful when read one's self, parts
+of it can score finely when subjected to the most exacting of tests--the
+reading aloud. Pages 197 and 216 are of that grade. I have tried them
+a couple of times on the family, and pages 212 and 216 are qualified
+to fetch any house of any country, caste or color, endowed with those
+riches which are denied to no nation on the planet--humor and feeling.
+
+Talk again--the country is listening.
+
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ Witter Bynner, the poet, was one of the editors of McClure's
+ Magazine at this time, but was trying to muster the courage to give
+ up routine work for verse-making and the possibility of poverty.
+ Clemens was fond of Bynner and believed in his work. He did not
+ advise him, however, to break away entirely from a salaried
+ position--at least not immediately; but one day Bynner did so, and
+ reported the step he had taken, with some doubt as to the answer he
+ would receive.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Witter Bynner, in New York:
+
+ DUBLIN, Oct. 5, 1906.
+
+DEAR POET,--You have certainly done right for several good reasons; at
+least, of them, I can name two:
+
+1. With your reputation you can have your freedom and yet earn your
+living. 2. if you fall short of succeeding to your wish, your reputation
+will provide you another job. And so in high approval I suppress the
+scolding and give you the saintly and fatherly pat instead.
+
+ MARK TWAIN.
+
+
+ On another occasion, when Bynner had written a poem to Clara
+ Clemens, her father pretended great indignation that the first poem
+ written by Bynner to any one in his household should not be to him,
+ and threatened revenge. At dinner shortly after he produced from
+ his pocket a slip of paper on which he had set down what he said was
+ “his only poem.” He read the lines that follow:
+
+ “Of all sad words of tongue or pen,
+ The saddest are these: It might have been.
+ Ah, say not so! as life grows longer, leaner, thinner,
+ We recognize, O God, it might have Bynner!”
+
+ He returned to New York in October and soon after was presented by
+ Mrs. H. H. Rogers with a handsome billiard-table.
+
+ He had a passion for the game, but had played comparatively little
+ since the old Hartford days of fifteen years before, when a group of
+ his friends used to assemble on Friday nights in the room at the top
+ of the house for long, strenuous games and much hilarity. Now the
+ old fever all came back; the fascinations of the game superseded
+ even his interest in the daily dictations.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Mrs. H. H. Rogers, in New York:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVENUE, Monday, Nov., 1906.
+
+DEAR MRS. ROGERS,--The billiard table is better than the doctors. It is
+driving out the heartburn in a most promising way. I have a billiardist
+on the premises, and I walk not less than ten miles every day with the
+cue in my hand. And the walking is not the whole of the exercise, nor
+the most health-giving part of it, I think. Through the multitude of the
+positions and attitudes it brings into play every muscle in the body and
+exercises them all.
+
+The games begin right after luncheon, daily, and continue until
+midnight, with 2 hours' intermission for dinner and music. And so it is
+9 hours' exercise per day, and 10 or 12 on Sunday. Yesterday and last
+night it was 12--and I slept until 8 this morning without waking.
+The billiard table, as a Sabbath breaker can beat any coal-breaker in
+Pennsylvania, and give it 30 in, the game. If Mr. Rogers will take to
+daily billiards he can do without doctors and the massageur, I think.
+
+We are really going to build a house on my farm, an hour and a half from
+New York. It is decided. It is to be built by contract, and is to come
+within $25,000.
+
+ With love and many thanks.
+ S. L. C.
+
+P.S. Clara is in the sanitarium--till January 28 when her western
+concert tour will begin. She is getting to be a mighty competent singer.
+You must know Clara better; she is one of the very finest and completest
+and most satisfactory characters I have ever met. Others knew it before,
+but I have always been busy with other matters.
+
+
+ The “billiardist on the premises” was the writer of these notes,
+ who, earlier in the year, had become his biographer, and, in the
+ course of time, his daily companion and friend. The farm mentioned
+ was one which he had bought at Redding, Connecticut, where, later,
+ he built the house known as “Stormfield.”
+
+ Henry Mills Alden, for nearly forty years editor of Harper's
+ Magazine, arrived at his seventieth birthday on November 11th that
+ year, and Harper & Brothers had arranged to give him a great dinner
+ in the offices of Franklin Square, where, for half a century, he had
+ been an active force. Mark Twain, threatened with a cold, and
+ knowing the dinner would be strenuous, did not feel able to attend,
+ so wrote a letter which, if found suitable, could be read at the
+ gathering.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Mr. Henry Alden:
+
+ALDEN,--dear and ancient friend--it is a solemn moment. You have now
+reached the age of discretion. You have been a long time arriving. Many
+years ago you docked me on an article because the subject was too old;
+later, you docked me on an article because the subject was too new;
+later still, you docked me on an article because the subject was betwixt
+and between. Once, when I wrote a Letter to Queen Victoria, you did not
+put it in the respectable part of the Magazine, but interred it in that
+potter's field, the Editor's Drawer. As a result, she never answered it.
+How often we recall, with regret, that Napoleon once shot at a magazine
+editor and missed him and killed a publisher. But we remember, with
+charity, that his intentions were good.
+
+You will reform, now, Alden. You will cease from these economies, and
+you will be discharged. But in your retirement you will carry with you
+the admiration and earnest good wishes of the oppressed and toiling
+scribes. This will be better than bread. Let this console you when the
+bread fails.
+
+You will carry with you another thing, too--the affection of the
+scribes; for they all love you in spite of your crimes. For you bear a
+kind heart in your breast, and the sweet and winning spirit that charms
+away all hostilities and animosities, and makes of your enemy your
+friend and keeps him so. You have reigned over us thirty-six years, and,
+please God, you shall reign another thirty-six--“and peace to Mahmoud on
+his golden throne!”
+
+ Always yours
+ MARK
+
+
+ A copyright bill was coming up in Washington and a delegation of
+ authors went down to work for it. Clemens was not the head of the
+ delegation, but he was the most prominent member of it, as well as
+ the most useful. He invited the writer to accompany him, and
+ elsewhere I have told in detail the story of that excursion,--[See
+ Mark Twain; A Biography, chap. ccli,]--which need be but briefly
+ touched upon here.
+
+ His work was mainly done aside from that of the delegation. They
+ had him scheduled for a speech, however, which he made without notes
+ and with scarcely any preparation. Meantime he had applied to
+ Speaker Cannon for permission to allow him on the floor of the
+ House, where he could buttonhole the Congressmen. He was not
+ eligible to the floor without having received the thanks of
+ Congress, hence the following letter:
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Hon. Joseph Cannon, House of Representatives:
+
+ Dec. 7, 1906.
+
+DEAR UNCLE JOSEPH,--Please get me the thanks of the Congress--not next
+week but right away. It is very necessary. Do accomplish this for
+your affectionate old friend right away; by persuasion, if you can, by
+violence if you must, for it is imperatively necessary that I get on
+the floor for two or three hours and talk to the members, man by man,
+in behalf of the support, encouragement and protection of one of the
+nation's most valuable assets and industries--its literature. I have
+arguments with me, also a barrel, with liquid in it.
+
+Give me a chance. Get me the thanks of Congress. Don't wait for
+others; there isn't time. I have stayed away and let Congress alone
+for seventy-one years and I am entitled to thanks. Congress knows it
+perfectly well and I have long felt hurt that this quite proper and
+earned expression of gratitude has been merely felt by the House and
+never publicly uttered. Send me an order on the Sergeant-at-Arms quick.
+When shall I come? With love and a benediction.
+
+ MARK TWAIN.
+
+
+ This was mainly a joke. Mark Twain did not expect any “thanks,” but
+ he did hope for access to the floor, which once, in an earlier day,
+ had been accorded him. We drove to the Capitol and he delivered his
+ letter to “Uncle Joe” by hand. “Uncle Joe” could not give him the
+ privilege of the floor; the rules had become more stringent. He
+ declared they would hang him if he did such a thing. He added that
+ he had a private room down-stairs, where Mark Twain might establish
+ headquarters, and that he would assign his colored servant, Neal, of
+ long acquaintanceship with many of the members, to pass the word
+ that Mark Twain was receiving.
+
+ The result was a great success. All that afternoon members of
+ Congress poured into the Speaker's room and, in an atmosphere blue
+ with tobacco smoke, Mark Twain talked the gospel of copyright to his
+ heart's content.
+
+ The bill did not come up for passage that session, but Mark Twain
+ lived to see his afternoon's lobbying bring a return. In 1909,
+ Champ Clark, and those others who had gathered around him that
+ afternoon, passed a measure that added fourteen years to the
+ copyright term.
+
+ The next letter refers to a proposed lobby of quite a different
+ sort.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To Helen Keller, in Wrentham, Mass.:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVENUE,
+ Dec. 23, '06.
+
+DEAR HELEN KELLER,--... You say, “As a reformer, you know that ideas
+must be driven home again and again.”
+
+Yes, I know it; and by old experience I know that speeches and documents
+and public meetings are a pretty poor and lame way of accomplishing it.
+Last year I proposed a sane way--one which I had practiced with success
+for a quarter of a century--but I wasn't expecting it to get any
+attention, and it didn't.
+
+Give me a battalion of 200 winsome young girls and matrons, and let me
+tell them what to do and how to do it, and I will be responsible for
+shining results. If I could mass them on the stage in front of the
+audience and instruct them there, I could make a public meeting take
+hold of itself and do something really valuable for once. Not that
+the real instruction would be done there, for it wouldn't; it would be
+previously done privately, and merely repeated there.
+
+But it isn't going to happen--the good old way will be stuck to:
+there'll be a public meeting: with music, and prayer, and a wearying
+report, and a verbal description of the marvels the blind can do, and
+17 speeches--then the call upon all present who are still alive, to
+contribute. This hoary program was invented in the idiot asylum, and
+will never be changed. Its function is to breed hostility to good
+causes.
+
+Some day somebody will recruit my 200--my dear beguilesome Knights of
+the Golden Fleece--and you will see them make good their ominous name.
+
+Mind, we must meet! not in the grim and ghastly air of the platform,
+mayhap, but by the friendly fire--here at 21.
+
+ Affectionately your friend,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ They did meet somewhat later that winter in the friendly parlors of
+ No. 21, and friends gathered in to meet the marvelous blind girl and
+ to pay tribute to Miss Sullivan (Mrs. Macy) for her almost
+ incredible achievement.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Letters Of Mark Twain, Volume 5,
+1901-1906, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
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+
+<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en">
+ <head>
+ <title>
+ Mark Twain's Letters 1901-1906, by Mark Twain
+ </title>
+ <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve">
+
+ body { margin:5%; background:#faebd7; text-align:justify}
+ P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; }
+ H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; }
+ hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;}
+ .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; }
+ blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;}
+ .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;}
+ .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;}
+ .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;}
+ div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; }
+ .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;}
+ .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;}
+ pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;}
+
+</style>
+ </head>
+ <body>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Letters Of Mark Twain, Volume 5,
+1901-1906, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Letters Of Mark Twain, Volume 5, 1901-1906
+
+Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+Release Date: August 21, 2006 [EBook #3197]
+Last Updated: February 24, 2018
+
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TWAIN LETTERS, VOL. 5 ***
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+ <h1>
+ MARK TWAIN'S LETTERS 1901-1906
+ </h1>
+ <p>
+ <br />
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ VOLUME V.
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ By Mark Twain
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <h3>
+ ARRANGED WITH COMMENT <br /> BY ALBERT BIGELOW PAINE
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ Contents
+ </h2>
+ <table summary="">
+ <tr>
+ <td>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> <b>XL.</b><br /> LETTERS OF 1901, CHIEFLY
+ TO TWICHELL. MARK TWAIN AS A REFORMER. SUMMER AT SARANAC.
+ ASSASSINATION OF PRESIDENT McKINLEY. </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> <b>XLI.</b><br /> LETTERS OF 1902.
+ RIVERDALE. YORK HARBOR. ILLNESS OF MRS. CLEMENS </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> <b>XLII.</b><br /> LETTERS OF 1903. TO
+ VARIOUS PERSONS. HARD DAYS AT RIVERDALE. LAST SUMMER AT ELMIRA. THE
+ RETURN TO ITALY. </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> <b>XLIII.</b><br /> LETTERS OF 1904. TO
+ VARIOUS PERSONS. LIFE IN VILLA QUARTO. DEATH OF MRS. CLEMENS. THE
+ RETURN TO AMERICA. </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> <b>XLIV.</b><br /> LETTERS OF 1905. TO
+ TWICHELL, MR. DUNEKA AND OTHERS. POLITICS AND HUMANITY. A SUMMER AT
+ DUBLIN. MARK TWAIN AT 70. </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0006"> <b>XLV.</b><br /> LETTERS, 1906, TO VARIOUS
+ PERSONS. THE FAREWELL LECTURE. A SECOND SUMMER IN DUBLIN. BILLIARDS
+ AND COPYRIGHT. </a>
+ </p>
+ </td>
+ </tr>
+ </table>
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ XL. LETTERS OF 1901, CHIEFLY TO TWICHELL. MARK TWAIN AS A REFORMER. SUMMER
+ AT SARANAC. ASSASSINATION OF PRESIDENT McKINLEY.
+ </h2>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ An editorial in the Louisville Courier-Journal, early in 1901, said:
+ &ldquo;A remarkable transformation, or rather a development, has taken
+ place in Mark Twain. The genial humorist of the earlier day is now
+ a reformer of the vigorous kind, a sort of knight errant who does
+ not hesitate to break a lance with either Church or State if he
+ thinks them interposing on that broad highway over which he believes
+ not a part but the whole of mankind has the privilege of passing in
+ the onward march of the ages.&rdquo;
+
+ Mark Twain had begun &ldquo;breaking the lance&rdquo; very soon after his return
+ from Europe. He did not believe that he could reform the world, but
+ at least he need not withhold his protest against those things which
+ stirred his wrath. He began by causing the arrest of a cabman who
+ had not only overcharged but insulted him; he continued by writing
+ openly against the American policy in the Philippines, the
+ missionary propaganda which had resulted in the Chinese uprising and
+ massacre, and against Tammany politics. Not all of his efforts were
+ in the line of reform; he had become a sort of general spokesman
+ which the public flocked to hear, whatever the subject. On the
+ occasion of a Lincoln Birthday service at Carnegie Hall he was
+ chosen to preside, and he was obliged to attend more dinners than
+ were good for his health. His letters of this period were mainly
+ written to his old friend Twichell, in Hartford. Howells, who lived
+ in New York, he saw with considerable frequency.
+
+ In the letter which follows the medicine which Twichell was to take
+ was Plasmon, an English proprietary remedy in which Mark Twain had
+ invested&mdash;a panacea for all human ills which osteopathy could not
+ reach.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Rev. Joseph Twichell, in Hartford:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ 14 W. 10TH ST. Jan. 23, '01.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR JOE,&mdash;Certainly. I used to take it in my coffee, but it settled
+ to the bottom in the form of mud, and I had to eat it with a spoon; so I
+ dropped the custom and took my 2 teaspoonfuls in cold milk after
+ breakfast. If we were out of milk I shoveled the dry powder into my mouth
+ and washed it down with water. The only essential is to get it down, the
+ method is not important.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ No, blame it, I can't go to the Alumni dinner, Joe. It takes two days, and
+ I can't spare the time. Moreover I preside at the Lincoln birthday
+ celebration in Carnegie Hall Feb. 11, and I must not make two speeches so
+ close together. Think of it&mdash;two old rebels functioning there&mdash;I
+ as President, and Watterson as Orator of the Day! Things have changed
+ somewhat in these 40 years, thank God.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Look here&mdash;when you come down you must be our guest&mdash;we've got a
+ roomy room for you, and Livy will make trouble if you go elsewhere. Come
+ straight to 14 West 10th.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Jan. 24. Livy says Amen to that; also, can you give us a day or two's
+ notice, so the room will be sure to be vacant?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I'm going to stick close to my desk for a month, now, hoping to write a
+ small book.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Ys Ever
+ MARK
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ The letter which follows is a fair sample of Mark Twain's private
+ violence on a subject which, in public print, he could only treat
+ effectively by preserving his good humor. When he found it
+ necessary to boil over, as he did, now and then, for relief, he
+ always found a willing audience in Twichell. The mention of his
+ &ldquo;Private Philosophy&rdquo; refers to 'What Is Man?', privately published
+ in 1906; reissued by his publishers in 1916.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ 14 W. 10th Jan. 29, '01.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR JOE,&mdash;I'm not expecting anything but kicks for scoffing, and am
+ expecting a diminution of my bread and butter by it, but if Livy will let
+ me I will have my say. This nation is like all the others that have been
+ spewed upon the earth&mdash;ready to shout for any cause that will tickle
+ its vanity or fill its pocket. What a hell of a heaven it will be, when
+ they get all these hypocrites assembled there!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I can't understand it! You are a public guide and teacher, Joe, and are
+ under a heavy responsibility to men, young and old; if you teach your
+ people&mdash;as you teach me&mdash;to hide their opinions when they
+ believe the flag is being abused and dishonored, lest the utterance do
+ them and a publisher a damage, how do you answer for it to your
+ conscience? You are sorry for me; in the fair way of give and take, I am
+ willing to be a little sorry for you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ However, I seem to be going counter to my own Private Philosophy&mdash;which
+ Livy won't allow me to publish&mdash;because it would destroy me. But I
+ hope to see it in print before I die. I planned it 15 years ago, and wrote
+ it in '98. I've often tried to read it to Livy, but she won't have it; it
+ makes her melancholy. The truth always has that effect on people. Would
+ have, anyway, if they ever got hold of a rag of it&mdash;Which they don't.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ You are supposing that I am supposing that I am moved by a Large
+ Patriotism, and that I am distressed because our President has blundered
+ up to his neck in the Philippine mess; and that I am grieved because this
+ great big ignorant nation, which doesn't know even the A B C facts of the
+ Philippine episode, is in disgrace before the sarcastic world&mdash;drop
+ that idea! I care nothing for the rest&mdash;I am only distressed and
+ troubled because I am befouled by these things. That is all. When I search
+ myself away down deep, I find this out. Whatever a man feels or thinks or
+ does, there is never any but one reason for it&mdash;and that is a selfish
+ one.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At great inconvenience, and expense of precious time I went to the chief
+ synagogue the other night and talked in the interest of a charity school
+ of poor Jew girls. I know&mdash;to the finest, shades&mdash;the selfish
+ ends that moved me; but no one else suspects. I could give you the details
+ if I had time. You would perceive how true they are.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I've written another article; you better hurry down and help Livy squelch
+ it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She's out pottering around somewhere, poor housekeeping slave; and Clara
+ is in the hands of the osteopath, getting the bronchitis pulled and hauled
+ out of her. It was a bad attack, and a little disquieting. It came day
+ before yesterday, and she hasn't sat up till this afternoon. She is
+ getting along satisfactorily, now.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Lots of love to you all.
+ MARK
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Mark Twain's religion had to do chiefly with humanity in its present
+ incarnation, and concerned itself very little with any possible
+ measure of reward or punishment in some supposed court of the
+ hereafter. Nevertheless, psychic investigation always interested
+ him, and he was good-naturedly willing to explore, even hoping,
+ perhaps, to be convinced that individuality continues beyond death.
+ The letter which follows indicates his customary attitude in
+ relation to spiritualistic research. The experiments here
+ mentioned, however, were not satisfactory.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Mrs. Charles McQuiston:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ DOBBS FERRY, N. Y.
+ March 26, 1901.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MRS. McQUISTON,&mdash;I have never had an experience which moved me
+ to believe the living can communicate with the dead, but my wife and I
+ have experimented in the matter when opportunity offered and shall
+ continue to do so.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I enclose a letter which came this morning&mdash;the second from the same
+ source. Mrs. K&mdash;&mdash;is a Missourian, and lately she discovered, by
+ accident, that she was a remarkable hypnotiser. Her best subject is a
+ Missouri girl, Miss White, who is to come here soon and sustain strictly
+ scientific tests before professors at Columbia University. Mrs. Clemens
+ and I intend to be present. And we shall ask the pair to come to our house
+ to do whatever things they can do. Meantime, if you thought well of it,
+ you might write her and arrange a meeting, telling her it is by my
+ suggestion and that I gave you her address.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Someone has told me that Mrs. Piper is discredited. I cannot be sure, but
+ I think it was Mr. Myers, President of the London Psychical Research
+ Society&mdash;we heard of his death yesterday. He was a spiritualist. I am
+ afraid he was a very easily convinced man. We visited two mediums whom he
+ and Andrew Lang considered quite wonderful, but they were quite
+ transparent frauds.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mrs. Clemens corrects me: One of those women was a fraud, the other not a
+ fraud, but only an innocent, well-meaning, driveling vacancy.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ In Mark Twain's Bermuda chapters entitled Idle Notes of an Idle
+ Excursion he tells of an old sea captain, one Hurricane Jones, who
+ explained biblical miracles in a practical, even if somewhat
+ startling, fashion. In his story of the prophets of Baal, for
+ instance, the old captain declared that the burning water was
+ nothing more nor less than petroleum. Upon reading the &ldquo;notes,&rdquo;
+ Professor Phelps of Yale wrote that the same method of explaining
+ miracles had been offered by Sir Thomas Browne.
+
+ Perhaps it may be added that Captain Hurricane Jones also appears in
+ Roughing It, as Captain Ned Blakely.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Professor William Lyon Phelps;
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ YALE UNIVERSITY,
+ NEW YORK, April 24, 1901.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ MY DEAR SIR,&mdash;I was not aware that old Sir Thomas had anticipated
+ that story, and I am much obliged to you for furnishing me the paragraph.
+ It is curious that the same idea should leave entered two heads so unlike
+ as the head of that wise old philosopher and that of Captain Ned Wakeman,
+ a splendidly uncultured old sailor, but in his own opinion a thinker by
+ divine right. He was an old friend of mine of many years' standing; I made
+ two or three voyages with him, and found him a darling in many ways. The
+ petroleum story was not told to me; he told it to Joe Twichell, who ran
+ across him by accident on a sea voyage where I think the two were the only
+ passengers. A delicious pair, and admirably mated, they took to each other
+ at once and became as thick as thieves. Joe was passing under a fictitious
+ name, and old Wakeman didn't suspect that he was a parson; so he gave his
+ profanity full swing, and he was a master of that great art. You probably
+ know Twichell, and will know that that is a kind of refreshment which he
+ is very capable of enjoying.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ For the summer Clemens and his family found a comfortable lodge in
+ the Adirondacks&mdash;a log cabin called &ldquo;The Lair&rdquo;&mdash;on Saranac Lake.
+ Soon after his arrival there he received an invitation to attend the
+ celebration of Missouri's eightieth anniversary. He sent the
+ following letter:
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Edward L. Dimmitt, in St. Louis:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ AMONG THE ADIRONDACK LAKES, July 19, 1901.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MR. DIMMITT,&mdash;By an error in the plans, things go wrong end
+ first in this world, and much precious time is lost and matters of urgent
+ importance are fatally retarded. Invitations which a brisk young fellow
+ should get, and which would transport him with joy, are delayed and
+ impeded and obstructed until they are fifty years overdue when they reach
+ him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It has happened again in this case.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When I was a boy in Missouri I was always on the lookout for invitations
+ but they always miscarried and went wandering through the aisles of time;
+ and now they are arriving when I am old and rheumatic and can't travel and
+ must lose my chance.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I have lost a world of delight through this matter of delaying
+ invitations. Fifty years ago I would have gone eagerly across the world to
+ help celebrate anything that might turn up. IT would have made no
+ difference to me what it was, so that I was there and allowed a chance to
+ make a noise.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The whole scheme of things is turned wrong end to. Life should begin with
+ age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its
+ capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages. As things are now, when in
+ youth a dollar would bring a hundred pleasures, you can't have it. When
+ you are old, you get it and there is nothing worth buying with it then.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It's an epitome of life. The first half of it consists of the capacity to
+ enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance without the
+ capacity.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I
+ am approaching the threshold of age; in 1977 I shall be 142. This is no
+ time to be flitting about the earth. I must cease from the activities
+ proper to youth and begin to take on the dignities and gravities and
+ inertia proper to that season of honorable senility which is on its way
+ and imminent as indicated above.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Yours is a great and memorable occasion, and as a son of Missouri I should
+ hold it a high privilege to be there and share your just pride in the
+ state's achievements; but I must deny myself the indulgence, while
+ thanking you earnestly for the prized honor you have done me in asking me
+ to be present.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Very truly yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ In the foregoing Mark Twain touches upon one of his favorite
+ fancies: that life should begin with old age and approach strong
+ manhood, golden youth, to end at last with pampered and beloved
+ babyhood. Possibly he contemplated writing a story with this idea
+ as the theme, but He seems never to have done so.
+
+ The reader who has followed these letters may remember Yung Wing,
+ who had charge of the Chinese educational mission in Hartford, and
+ how Mark Twain, with Twichell, called on General Grant in behalf of
+ the mission. Yung Wing, now returned to China, had conceived the
+ idea of making an appeal to the Government of the United States for
+ relief of his starving countrymen.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ AMPERSAND, N. Y., July 28, '01.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR JOE,&mdash;As you say, it is impracticable&mdash;in my case,
+ certainly. For me to assist in an appeal to that Congress of land-thieves
+ and liars would be to bring derision upon it; and for me to assist in an
+ appeal for cash to pass through the hands of those missionaries out there,
+ of any denomination, Catholic or Protestant, wouldn't do at all. They
+ wouldn't handle money which I had soiled, and I wouldn't trust them with
+ it, anyway. They would devote it to the relief of suffering&mdash;I know
+ that&mdash;but the sufferers selected would be converts. The
+ missionary-utterances exhibit no humane feeling toward the others, but in
+ place of it a spirit of hate and hostility. And it is natural; the Bible
+ forbids their presence there, their trade is unlawful, why shouldn't their
+ characters be of necessity in harmony with&mdash;but never mind, let it
+ go, it irritates me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Later.... I have been reading Yung Wing's letter again. It may be that he
+ is over-wrought by his sympathies, but it may not be so. There may be
+ other reasons why the missionaries are silent about the Shensi-2-year
+ famine and cannibalism. It may be that there are so few Protestant
+ converts there that the missionaries are able to take care of them. That
+ they are not likely to largely concern themselves about Catholic converts
+ and the others, is quite natural, I think.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That crude way of appealing to this Government for help in a cause which
+ has no money in it, and no politics, rises before me again in all its
+ admirable innocence! Doesn't Yung Wing know us yet? However, he has been
+ absent since '96 or '97. We have gone to hell since then. Kossuth couldn't
+ raise 30 cents in Congress, now, if he were back with his moving
+ Magyar-Tale.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I am on the front porch (lower one&mdash;main deck) of our little bijou of
+ a dwelling-house. The lake-edge (Lower Saranac) is so nearly under me that
+ I can't see the shore, but only the water, small-pored with rain-splashes&mdash;for
+ there is a heavy down-pour. It is charmingly like sitting snuggled up on a
+ ship's deck with the stretching sea all around&mdash;but very much more
+ satisfactory, for at sea a rain-storm is depressing, while here of course
+ the effect engendered is just a deep sense of comfort and contentment. The
+ heavy forest shuts us solidly in on three sides there are no neighbors.
+ There are beautiful little tan-colored impudent squirrels about. They take
+ tea, 5 p. m., (not invited) at the table in the woods where Jean does my
+ typewriting, and one of them has been brave enough to sit upon Jean's knee
+ with his tail curved over his back and munch his food. They come to
+ dinner, 7 p. m., on the front porch (not invited). They all have the one
+ name&mdash;Blennerhasset, from Burr's friend&mdash;and none of them
+ answers to it except when hungry.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We have been here since June 21st. For a little while we had some warm
+ days&mdash;according to the family's estimate; I was hardly discommoded
+ myself. Otherwise the weather has been of the sort you are familiar with
+ in these regions: cool days and cool nights. We have heard of the hot wave
+ every Wednesday, per the weekly paper&mdash;we allow no dailies to
+ intrude. Last week through visitors also&mdash;the only ones we have had&mdash;Dr.
+ Root and John Howells.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We have the daily lake-swim; and all the tribe, servants included (but not
+ I) do a good deal of boating; sometimes with the guide, sometimes without
+ him&mdash;Jean and Clara are competent with the oars. If we live another
+ year, I hope we shall spend its summer in this house.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We have taken the Appleton country seat, overlooking the Hudson, at
+ Riverdale, 25 minutes from the Grand Central Station, for a year,
+ beginning Oct. 1, with option for another year. We are obliged to be close
+ to New York for a year or two.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Aug. 3rd. I go yachting a fortnight up north in a 20-knot boat 225 feet
+ long, with the owner, (Mr. Rogers), Tom Reid, Dr. Rice, Col. A. G. Paine
+ and one or two others. Judge Howland would go, but can't get away from
+ engagements; Professor Sloane would go, but is in the grip of an illness.
+ Come&mdash;will you go? If you can manage it, drop a post-card to me c/o
+ H.H. Rogers, 26 Broadway. I shall be in New York a couple of days before
+ we sail&mdash;July 31 or Aug. 1, perhaps the latter,&mdash;and I think I
+ shall stop at the Hotel Grosvenor, cor. 10th St and 5th ave.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We all send you and the Harmonies lots and gobs of love.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ MARK
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ AMPERSAND, N. Y., Aug. 28.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR JOE,&mdash;Just a word, to scoff at you, with your extravagant
+ suggestion that I read the biography of Phillips Brooks&mdash;the very
+ dullest book that has been printed for a century. Joe, ten pages of Mrs.
+ Cheney's masterly biography of her fathers&mdash;no, five pages of it&mdash;contain
+ more meat, more sense, more literature, more brilliancy, than that whole
+ basketful of drowsy rubbish put together. Why, in that dead atmosphere
+ even Brooks himself is dull&mdash;he wearied me; oh how he wearied me!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We had a noble good time in the Yacht, and caught a Chinese missionary and
+ drowned him.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Love from us all to you all.
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ The assassination of President McKinley occurred September 6, 1901.
+ Such an event would naturally stir Mark Twain to comment on human
+ nature in general. His letter to Twichell is as individual as it is
+ sound in philosophy. At what period of his own life, or under what
+ circumstances, he made the long journey with tragic intent there is
+ no means of knowing now. There is no other mention of it elsewhere
+ in the records that survive him.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ AMPERSAND, Tuesday, (Sept. 10, 1901)
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR JOE,&mdash;It is another off day, but tomorrow I shall resume work to
+ a certainty, and bid a long farewell to letter-scribbling.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The news of the President looks decidedly hopeful, and we are all glad,
+ and the household faces are much improved, as to cheerfulness. Oh, the
+ talk in the newspapers! Evidently the Human Race is the same old Human
+ Race. And how unjust, and unreflectingly discriminating, the talkers are.
+ Under the unsettling effects of powerful emotion the talkers are saying
+ wild things, crazy things&mdash;they are out of themselves, and do not
+ know it; they are temporarily insane, yet with one voice they declare the
+ assassin sane&mdash;a man who has been entertaining fiery and reason&mdash;debauching
+ maggots in his head for weeks and months. Why, no one is sane, straight
+ along, year in and year out, and we all know it. Our insanities are of
+ varying sorts, and express themselves in varying forms&mdash;fortunately
+ harmless forms as a rule&mdash;but in whatever form they occur an immense
+ upheaval of feeling can at any time topple us distinctly over the
+ sanity-line for a little while; and then if our form happens to be of the
+ murderous kind we must look out&mdash;and so must the spectator.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This ass with the unpronounceable name was probably more insane than usual
+ this week or two back, and may get back upon his bearings by and by, but
+ he was over the sanity-border when he shot the President. It is possible
+ that it has taken him the whole interval since the murder of the King of
+ Italy to get insane enough to attempt the President's life. Without a
+ doubt some thousands of men have been meditating the same act in the same
+ interval, but new and strong interests have intervened and diverted their
+ over-excited minds long enough to give them a chance to settle, and
+ tranquilize, and get back upon a healthy level again. Every extraordinary
+ occurrence unsettles the heads of hundreds of thousands of men for a few
+ moments or hours or days. If there had been ten kings around when Humbert
+ fell they would have been in great peril for a day or more&mdash;and from
+ men in whose presence they would have been quite safe after the excess of
+ their excitement had had an interval in which to cool down. I bought a
+ revolver once and travelled twelve hundred miles to kill a man. He was
+ away. He was gone a day. With nothing else to do, I had to stop and think&mdash;and
+ did. Within an hour&mdash;within half of it&mdash;I was ashamed of myself&mdash;and
+ felt unspeakably ridiculous. I do not know what to call it if I was not
+ insane. During a whole week my head was in a turmoil night and day fierce
+ enough and exhausting enough to upset a stronger reason than mine.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ All over the world, every day, there are some millions of men in that
+ condition temporarily. And in that time there is always a moment&mdash;perhaps
+ only a single one when they would do murder if their man was at hand. If
+ the opportunity comes a shade too late, the chances are that it has come
+ permanently too late. Opportunity seldom comes exactly at the supreme
+ moment. This saves a million lives a day in the world&mdash;for sure.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ No Ruler is ever slain but the tremendous details of it are ravenously
+ devoured by a hundred thousand men whose minds dwell, unaware, near the
+ temporary-insanity frontier&mdash;and over they go, now! There is a day&mdash;two
+ days&mdash;three&mdash;during which no Ruler would be safe from perhaps
+ the half of them; and there is a single moment wherein he would not be
+ safe from any of them, no doubt.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It may take this present shooting-case six months to breed another
+ ruler-tragedy, but it will breed it. There is at least one mind somewhere
+ which will brood, and wear, and decay itself to the killing-point and
+ produce that tragedy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Every negro burned at the stake unsettles the excitable brain of another
+ one&mdash;I mean the inflaming details of his crime, and the lurid
+ theatricality of his exit do it&mdash;and the duplicate crime follows; and
+ that begets a repetition, and that one another one and so on. Every
+ lynching-account unsettles the brains of another set of excitable white
+ men, and lights another pyre&mdash;115 lynchings last year, 102 inside of
+ 8 months this year; in ten years this will be habit, on these terms.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Yes, the wild talk you see in the papers! And from men who are sane when
+ not upset by overwhelming excitement. A U. S. Senator-Cullom&mdash;wants
+ this Buffalo criminal lynched! It would breed other lynchings&mdash;of men
+ who are not dreaming of committing murders, now, and will commit none if
+ Cullom will keep quiet and not provide the exciting cause.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And a District Attorney wants a law which shall punish with death attempts
+ upon a President's life&mdash;this, mind you, as a deterrent. It would
+ have no effect&mdash;or the opposite one. The lunatic's mind-space is all
+ occupied&mdash;as mine was&mdash;with the matter in hand; there is no room
+ in it for reflections upon what may happen to him. That comes after the
+ crime.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It is the noise the attempt would make in the world that would breed the
+ subsequent attempts, by unsettling the rickety minds of men who envy the
+ criminal his vast notoriety&mdash;his obscure name tongued by stupendous
+ Kings and Emperors&mdash;his picture printed everywhere, the trivialest
+ details of his movements, what he eats, what he drinks; how he sleeps,
+ what he says, cabled abroad over the whole globe at cost of fifty thousand
+ dollars a day&mdash;and he only a lowly shoemaker yesterday!&mdash;like
+ the assassin of the President of France&mdash;in debt three francs to his
+ landlady, and insulted by her&mdash;and to-day she is proud to be able to
+ say she knew him &ldquo;as familiarly as you know your own brother,&rdquo; and glad to
+ stand till she drops and pour out columns and pages of her grandeur and
+ her happiness upon the eager interviewer.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Nothing will check the lynchings and ruler-murder but absolute silence&mdash;the
+ absence of pow-pow about them. How are you going to manage that? By
+ gagging every witness and jamming him into a dungeon for life; by
+ abolishing all newspapers; by exterminating all newspaper men; and by
+ extinguishing God's most elegant invention, the Human Race. It is quite
+ simple, quite easy, and I hope you will take a day off and attend to it,
+ Joe. I blow a kiss to you, and am
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Lovingly Yours,
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ When the Adirondack summer ended Clemens settled for the winter in
+ the beautiful Appleton home at Riverdale-on-the-Hudson. It was a
+ place of wide-spreading grass and shade-a house of ample room. They
+ were established in it in time for Mark Twain to take an active
+ interest in the New York elections and assist a ticket for good
+ government to defeat Tammany Hall.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ XLI. LETTERS OF 1902. RIVERDALE. YORK HARBOR. ILLNESS OF MRS. CLEMENS
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ The year 1902 was an eventful one for Mark Twain. In April he received a
+ degree of LL.D. from the University of Missouri and returned to his native
+ State to accept it. This was his last journey to the Mississippi River.
+ During the summer Mrs. Clemens's health broke down and illnesses of one
+ sort or another visited other members of the family. Amid so much stress
+ and anxiety Clemens had little time or inclination for work. He wrote not
+ many letters and mainly somber ones. Once, by way of diversion, he worked
+ out the idea of a curious club&mdash;which he formed&mdash;its members to
+ be young girls&mdash;girls for the most part whom he had never seen. They
+ were elected without their consent from among those who wrote to him
+ without his consent, and it is not likely that any one so chosen declined
+ membership. One selection from his letters to the French member, Miss
+ Helene Picard, of St.-Die, France, will explain the club and present a
+ side of Mask Twain somewhat different from that found in most of his
+ correspondence.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Miss Picard, in St.-Die, France:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ RIVERDALE-ON-THE-HUDSON, February 22, 1902.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MISS HELENE,&mdash;If you will let me call you so, considering that
+ my head is white and that I have grownup daughters. Your beautiful letter
+ has given me such deep pleasure! I will make bold to claim you for a
+ friend and lock you up with the rest of my riches; for I am a miser who
+ counts his spoil every day and hoards it secretly and adds to it when he
+ can, and is grateful to see it grow.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Some of that gold comes, like yourself, in a sealed package, and I can't
+ see it and may never have the happiness; but I know its value without
+ that, and by what sum it increases my wealth.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I have a Club, a private Club, which is all my own. I appoint the Members
+ myself, and they can't help themselves, because I don't allow them to vote
+ on their own appointment and I don't allow them to resign! They are all
+ friends whom I have never seen (save one), but who have written friendly
+ letters to me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ By the laws of my Club there can be only one Member in each country, and
+ there can be no male Member but myself. Some day I may admit males, but I
+ don't know&mdash;they are capricious and inharmonious, and their ways
+ provoke me a good deal. It is a matter which the Club shall decide.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I have made four appointments in the past three or four months: You as
+ Member for France, a young Highland girl as Member for Scotland, a
+ Mohammedan girl as Member for Bengal, and a dear and bright young niece of
+ mine as Member for the United States&mdash;for I do not represent a
+ country myself, but am merely Member at Large for the Human Race.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ You must not try to resign, for the laws of the Club do not allow that.
+ You must console yourself by remembering that you are in the best of
+ company; that nobody knows of your membership except myself&mdash;that no
+ Member knows another's name, but only her country; that no taxes are
+ levied and no meetings held (but how dearly I should like to attend one!).
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ One of my Members is a Princess of a royal house, another is the daughter
+ of a village book-seller on the continent of Europe. For the only
+ qualification for Membership is intellect and the spirit of good will;
+ other distinctions, hereditary or acquired, do not count.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ May I send you the Constitution and Laws of the Club? I shall be so
+ pleased if I may. It is a document which one of my daughters typewrites
+ for me when I need one for a new Member, and she would give her eyebrows
+ to know what it is all about, but I strangle her curiosity by saying:
+ &ldquo;There are much cheaper typewriters than you are, my dear, and if you try
+ to pry into the sacred mysteries of this Club one of your prosperities
+ will perish sure.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ My favorite? It is &ldquo;Joan of Arc.&rdquo; My next is &ldquo;Huckleberry Finn,&rdquo; but the
+ family's next is &ldquo;The Prince and the Pauper.&rdquo; (Yes, you are right&mdash;I
+ am a moralist in disguise; it gets me into heaps of trouble when I go
+ thrashing around in political questions.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I wish you every good fortune and happiness and I thank you so much for
+ your letter.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Early in the year Clemens paid a visit to Twichell in Hartford, and
+ after one of their regular arguments on theology and the moral
+ accountability of the human race, arguments that had been going on
+ between them for more than thirty years&mdash;Twichell lent his visitor
+ Freedom of the Will, by Jonathan Edwards, to read on the way home.
+ The next letter was the result.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ RIVERDALE-ON-THE-HUDSON.
+ Feb. '02.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR JOE,&mdash;&ldquo;After compliments.&rdquo;&mdash;[Meaning &ldquo;What a good time you
+ gave me; what a happiness it was to be under your roof again; etc., etc.&rdquo;
+ See opening sentence of all translations of letters passing between Lord
+ Roberts and Indian princes and rulers.]&mdash;From Bridgeport to New York;
+ thence to home; and continuously until near midnight I wallowed and reeked
+ with Jonathan in his insane debauch; rose immediately refreshed and fine
+ at 10 this morning, but with a strange and haunting sense of having been
+ on a three days' tear with a drunken lunatic. It is years since I have
+ known these sensations. All through the book is the glaze of a resplendent
+ intellect gone mad&mdash;a marvelous spectacle. No, not all through the
+ book&mdash;the drunk does not come on till the last third, where what I
+ take to be Calvinism and its God begins to show up and shine red and
+ hideous in the glow from the fires of hell, their only right and proper
+ adornment. By God I was ashamed to be in such company.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Jonathan seems to hold (as against the Arminian position) that the Man (or
+ his Soul or his Will) never creates an impulse itself, but is moved to
+ action by an impulse back of it. That's sound!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Also, that of two or more things offered it, it infallibly chooses the one
+ which for the moment is most pleasing to ITSELF. Perfectly correct! An
+ immense admission for a man not otherwise sane.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Up to that point he could have written chapters III and IV of my
+ suppressed &ldquo;Gospel.&rdquo; But there we seem to separate. He seems to concede
+ the indisputable and unshakable dominion of Motive and Necessity (call
+ them what he may, these are exterior forces and not under the man's
+ authority, guidance or even suggestion)&mdash;then he suddenly flies the
+ logic track and (to all seeming) makes the man and not these exterior
+ forces responsible to God for the man's thoughts, words and acts. It is
+ frank insanity.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I think that when he concedes the autocratic dominion of Motive and
+ Necessity he grants, a third position of mine&mdash;that a man's mind is a
+ mere machine&mdash;an automatic machine&mdash;which is handled entirely
+ from the outside, the man himself furnishing it absolutely nothing: not an
+ ounce of its fuel, and not so much as a bare suggestion to that exterior
+ engineer as to what the machine shall do, nor how it shall do it nor when.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ After that concession, it was time for him to get alarmed and shirk&mdash;for
+ he was pointing straight for the only rational and possible next-station
+ on that piece of road the irresponsibility of man to God.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And so he shirked. Shirked, and arrived at this handsome result:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Man is commanded to do so-and-so. It has been ordained from the beginning
+ of time that some men shan't and others can't.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ These are to be blamed: let them be damned.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I enjoy the Colonel very much, and shall enjoy the rest of him with an
+ obscene delight.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Joe, the whole tribe shout love to you and yours!
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ We have not heard of Joe Goodman since the trying days of '90 and
+ '91, when he was seeking to promote the fortunes of the type-setting
+ machine. Goodman, meantime, who had in turn been miner, printer,
+ publisher, and farmer; had been devoting his energies and genius to
+ something entirely new: he had been translating the prehistoric
+ Mayan inscriptions of Yucatan, and with such success that his work
+ was elaborately published by an association of British scientists.
+ In due time a copy of this publication came to Clemens, who was full
+ of admiration of the great achievement.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To J. T. Goodman, in California:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ RIVERDALE-ON-THE-HUDSON,
+ June 13, '02.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR JOE,&mdash;I am lost in reverence and admiration! It is now
+ twenty-four hours that I have been trying to cool down and contemplate
+ with quiet blood this extraordinary spectacle of energy, industry,
+ perseverance, pluck, analytical genius, penetration, this irruption of
+ thunders and fiery splendors from a fair and flowery mountain that nobody
+ had supposed was a sleeping volcano, but I seem to be as excited as ever.
+ Yesterday I read as much as half of the book, not understanding a word but
+ enchanted nevertheless&mdash;partly by the wonder of it all, the study,
+ the erudition, the incredible labor, the modesty, the dignity, the
+ majestic exclusiveness of the field and its lofty remoteness from things
+ and contacts sordid and mean and earthy, and partly by the grace and
+ beauty and limpidity of the book's unsurpassable English. Science, always
+ great and worshipful, goes often in hodden grey, but you have clothed her
+ in garments meet for her high degree.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ You think you get &ldquo;poor pay&rdquo; for your twenty years? No, oh no. You have
+ lived in a paradise of the intellect whose lightest joys were beyond the
+ reach of the longest purse in Christendom, you have had daily and nightly
+ emancipation from the world's slaveries and gross interests, you have
+ received a bigger wage than any man in the land, you have dreamed a
+ splendid dream and had it come true, and to-day you could not afford to
+ trade fortunes with anybody&mdash;not even with another scientist, for he
+ must divide his spoil with his guild, whereas essentially the world you
+ have discovered is your own and must remain so.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It is all just magnificent, Joe! And no one is prouder or gladder than
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Yours always
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ At York Harbor, Maine, where they had taken a cottage for the
+ summer&mdash;a pretty place, with Howells not far distant, at Kittery
+ Point&mdash;Mrs. Clemens's health gave way. This was at a period when
+ telegraphic communication was far from reliable. The old-time
+ Western Union had fallen from grace; its &ldquo;system&rdquo; no longer
+ justified the best significance of that word. The new day of
+ reorganization was coming, and it was time for it. Mark Twain's
+ letter concerning the service at York Harbor would hardly be
+ warranted today, but those who remember conditions of that earlier
+ time will agree that it was justified then, and will appreciate its
+ satire.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To the President of The Western Union, in New York:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ &ldquo;THE PINES&rdquo;
+ YORK HARBOR, MAINE.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR SIR,&mdash;I desire to make a complaint, and I bring it to you, the
+ head of the company, because by experience I know better than to carry it
+ to a subordinate.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I have been here a month and a half, and by testimony of friends,
+ reinforced by personal experience I now feel qualified to claim as an
+ established fact that the telegraphic service here is the worst in the
+ world except that Boston.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ These services are actually slower than was the New York and Hartford
+ service in the days when I last complained to you&mdash;which was fifteen
+ or eighteen years ago, when telegraphic time and train time between the
+ mentioned points was exactly the same, to-wit, three hours and a half. Six
+ days ago&mdash;it was that raw day which provoked so much comment&mdash;my
+ daughter was on her way up from New York, and at noon she telegraphed me
+ from New Haven asking that I meet her with a cloak at Portsmouth. Her
+ telegram reached me four hours and a quarter later&mdash;just 15 minutes
+ too late for me to catch my train and meet her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I judge that the telegram traveled about 200 miles. It is the best
+ telegraphic work I have seen since I have been here, and I am mentioning
+ it in this place not as a complaint but as a compliment. I think a
+ compliment ought always to precede a complaint, where one is possible,
+ because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous
+ and gentle reception.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Still, there is a detail or two connected with this matter which ought
+ perhaps to be mentioned. And now, having smoothed the way with the
+ compliment, I will venture them. The head corpse in the York Harbor office
+ sent me that telegram altho (1) he knew it would reach me too late to be
+ of any value; (2) also, that he was going to send it to me by his boy; (3)
+ that the boy would not take the trolley and come the 2 miles in 12
+ minutes, but would walk; (4) that he would be two hours and a quarter on
+ the road; (5) and that he would collect 25 cents for transportation, for a
+ telegram which the he knew to be worthless before he started it. From
+ these data I infer that the Western Union owes me 75 cents; that is to
+ say, the amount paid for combined wire and land transportation&mdash;a
+ recoup provided for in the printed paragraph which heads the
+ telegraph-blank.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ By these humane and Christian stages we now arrive at the complaint
+ proper. We have had a grave case of illness in the family, and a relative
+ was coming some six hundred miles to help in the sick-room during the
+ convalescing period. It was an anxious time, of course, and I wrote and
+ asked to be notified as to the hour of the expected arrival of this
+ relative in Boston or in York Harbor. Being afraid of the telegraph&mdash;which
+ I think ought not to be used in times of hurry and emergency&mdash;I asked
+ that the desired message be brought to me by some swift method of
+ transportation. By the milkman, if he was coming this way. But there are
+ always people who think they know more than you do, especially young
+ people; so of course the young fellow in charge of this lady used the
+ telegraph. And at Boston, of all places! Except York Harbor.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The result was as usual; let me employ a statelier and exacter term, and
+ say, historical.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The dispatch was handed to the h. c. of the Boston office at 9 this
+ morning. It said, &ldquo;Shall bring A. S. to you eleven forty-five this
+ morning.&rdquo; The distance traveled by the dispatch is forty or fifty miles, I
+ suppose, as the train-time is five minutes short of two hours, and the
+ trains are so slow that they can't give a W. U. telegram two hours and
+ twenty minutes start and overtake it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As I have said, the dispatch was handed in at Boston at 9. The expected
+ visitors left Boston at 9.40, and reached my house at 12 noon, beating the
+ telegram 2 solid hours, and 5 minutes over.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The boy brought the telegram. It was bald-headed with age, but still
+ legible. The boy was prostrate with travel and exposure, but still alive,
+ and I went out to condole with him and get his last wishes and send for
+ the ambulance. He was waiting to collect transportation before turning his
+ passing spirit to less serious affairs. I found him strangely intelligent,
+ considering his condition and where he is getting his training. I asked
+ him at what hour the telegram was handed to the h. c. in Boston. He
+ answered brightly, that he didn't know.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I examined the blank, and sure enough the wary Boston h. c. had
+ thoughtfully concealed that statistic. I asked him at what hour it had
+ started from Boston. He answered up as brightly as ever, and said he
+ didn't know.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I examined the blank, and sure enough the Boston h. c. had left that
+ statistic out in the cold, too. In fact it turned out to be an official
+ concealment&mdash;no blank was provided for its exposure. And none
+ required by the law, I suppose. &ldquo;It is a good one-sided idea,&rdquo; I remarked;
+ &ldquo;They can take your money and ship your telegram next year if they want to&mdash;you've
+ no redress. The law ought to extend the privilege to all of us.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The boy looked upon me coldly.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I asked him when the telegram reached York Harbor. He pointed to some
+ figures following the signature at the bottom of the blank&mdash;&ldquo;12.14.&rdquo;
+ I said it was now 1.45 and asked&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Do you mean that it reached your morgue an hour and a half ago?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He nodded assent.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;It was at that time half an hour too late to be of any use to me, if I
+ wanted to go and meet my people&mdash;which was the case&mdash;for by the
+ wording of the message you can see that they were to arrive at the station
+ at 11.45. Why did, your h. c. send me this useless message? Can't he read?
+ Is he dead?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;It's the rules.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;No, that does not account for it. Would he have sent it if it had been
+ three years old, I in the meantime deceased, and he aware of it?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The boy didn't know.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Because, you know, a rule which required him to forward to the cemetery
+ to-day a dispatch due three years ago, would be as good a rule as one
+ which should require him to forward a telegram to me to-day which he knew
+ had lost all its value an hour or two before he started it. The
+ construction of such a rule would discredit an idiot; in fact an idiot&mdash;I
+ mean a common ordinary Christian idiot, you understand&mdash;would be
+ ashamed of it, and for the sake of his reputation wouldn't make it. What
+ do you think?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He replied with much natural brilliancy that he wasn't paid for thinking.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This gave me a better opinion of the commercial intelligence pervading his
+ morgue than I had had before; it also softened my feelings toward him, and
+ also my tone, which had hitherto been tinged with bitterness.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Let bygones be bygones,&rdquo; I said, gently, &ldquo;we are all erring creatures,
+ and mainly idiots, but God made us so and it is dangerous to criticise.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Sincerely
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ One day there arrived from Europe a caller with a letter of
+ introduction from Elizabeth, Queen of Rumania, better known as
+ Carmen Sylva. The visitor was Madam Hartwig, formerly an American
+ girl, returning now, because of reduced fortunes, to find profitable
+ employment in her own land. Her husband, a man of high principle,
+ had declined to take part in an &ldquo;affair of honor,&rdquo; as recognized by
+ the Continental code; hence his ruin. Elizabeth of Rumania was one
+ of the most loved and respected of European queens and an author of
+ distinction. Mark Twain had known her in Vienna. Her letter to him
+ and his own letter to the public (perhaps a second one, for its date
+ is two years later) follow herewith.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ From Carmen Sylva to Mark Twain:
+
+ BUCAREST, May 9, 1902.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ HONORED MASTER,&mdash;If I venture to address you on behalf of a poor
+ lady, who is stranded in Bucarest I hope not to be too disagreeable.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mrs. Hartwig left America at the age of fourteen in order to learn to sing
+ which she has done thoroughly. Her husband had quite a brilliant situation
+ here till he refused to partake 'dans une afaire onereuse', so it seems.
+ They haven't a penny and each of them must try to find a living. She is
+ very nice and pleasant and her school is so good that she most certainly
+ can give excellent singing lessons.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I beg your pardon for being a bore to one I so deeply love and admire, to
+ whom I owe days and days of forgetfulness of self and troubles and the
+ intensest of all joys: Hero-worship! People don't always realize what a
+ happiness that is! God bless you for every beautiful thought you poured
+ into my tired heart and for every smile on a weary way!
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ CARMEN SYLVA.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ From Mark Twain to the Public:
+
+ Nov. 16, '04.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,&mdash;I desire to recommend Madame Hartwig to my
+ friends and the public as a teacher of singing and as a concert-vocalist.
+ She has lived for fifteen years at the court of Roumania, and she brought
+ with her to America an autograph letter in which her Majesty the Queen of
+ Roumania cordially certified her to me as being an accomplished and gifted
+ singer and teacher of singing, and expressed a warm hope that her
+ professional venture among us would meet with success; through absence in
+ Europe I have had no opportunity to test the validity of the Queen's
+ judgment in the matter, but that judgment is the utterance of an entirely
+ competent authority&mdash;the best that occupies a throne, and as good as
+ any that sits elsewhere, as the musical world well knows&mdash;and
+ therefore back it without hesitation, and endorse it with confidence.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I will explain that the reason her Majesty tried to do her friend a
+ friendly office through me instead of through someone else was, not that I
+ was particularly the right or best person for the office, but because I
+ was not a stranger. It is true that I am a stranger to some of the
+ monarchs&mdash;mainly through their neglect of their opportunities&mdash;but
+ such is not the case in the present instance. The latter fact is a high
+ compliment to me, and perhaps I ought to conceal it. Some people would.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ MARK TWAIN.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Mrs. Clemens's improvement was scarcely perceptible. It was not
+ until October that they were able to remove her to Riverdale, and
+ then only in a specially arranged invalid-car. At the end of the
+ long journey she was carried to her room and did not leave it again
+ for many months.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ RIVERDALE, N. Y., Oct. 31, '02.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR JOE,&mdash;It is ten days since Susy [Twichell] wrote that you were
+ laid up with a sprained shoulder, since which time we have had no news
+ about it. I hope that no news is good news, according to the proverb;
+ still, authoritative confirmation of it will be gladly received in this
+ family, if some of you will furnish it. Moreover, I should like to know
+ how and where it happened. In the pulpit, as like as not, otherwise you
+ would not be taking so much pains to conceal it. This is not a malicious
+ suggestion, and not a personally-invented one: you told me yourself, once,
+ that you threw artificial power and impressiveness into places in your
+ sermons where needed, by &ldquo;banging the bible&rdquo;&mdash;(your own words.) You
+ have reached a time of life when it is not wise to take these risks. You
+ would better jump around. We all have to change our methods as the
+ infirmities of age creep upon us. Jumping around will be impressive now,
+ whereas before you were gray it would have excited remark.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Poor Livy drags along drearily. It must be hard times for that turbulent
+ spirit. It will be a long time before she is on her feet again. It is a
+ most pathetic case. I wish I could transfer it to myself. Between ripping
+ and raging and smoking and reading, I could get a good deal of a holiday
+ out of it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Clara runs the house smoothly and capably. She is discharging a trial-cook
+ today and hiring another.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ A power of love to you all!
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Such was the state of Mrs. Clemens's health that visitors
+ were excluded from the sick room, and even Clemens himself
+ was allowed to see her no more than a few moments at a time.
+ These brief, precious visits were the chief interests of his
+ long days. Occasionally he was allowed to send her a few
+ lines, reporting his occupations, and these she was
+ sometimes permitted to answer. Only one of his notes has
+ been preserved, written after a day, now rare, of literary
+ effort. Its signature, the letter Y, stands for &ldquo;Youth,&rdquo;
+ always her name for him.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Mrs. Clemens:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DEAR HEART,&mdash;I've done another full day's work, and finished before
+ 4. I have been reading and dozing since and would have had a real sleep a
+ few minutes ago but for an incursion to bring me a couple of unimportant
+ letters. I've stuck to the bed all day and am getting back my lost ground.
+ Next time I will be strictly careful and make my visit very short&mdash;just
+ a kiss and a rush. Thank you for your dear, dear note; you who are my own
+ and only sweetheart.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Sleep well!
+ Y.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ XLII. LETTERS OF 1903. TO VARIOUS PERSONS. HARD DAYS AT RIVERDALE. LAST
+ SUMMER AT ELMIRA. THE RETURN TO ITALY.
+ </h2>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ The reader may perhaps recall that H. H. Rogers, some five
+ or six years earlier, had taken charge of the fortunes of
+ Helen Keller, making it possible for her to complete her
+ education. Helen had now written her first book&mdash;a
+ wonderful book&mdash;'The Story of My Life', and it had been
+ successfully published. For a later generation it may be
+ proper to explain that the Miss Sullivan, later Mrs. Macy,
+ mentioned in the letter which follows, was the noble woman
+ who had devoted her life to the enlightenment of this blind,
+ dumb girl&mdash;had made it possible for her to speak and
+ understand, and, indeed, to see with the eyes of luminous
+ imagination.
+
+ The case of plagiarism mentioned in this letter is not now
+ remembered, and does not matter, but it furnished a text for
+ Mark Twain, whose remarks on the subject in general are
+ eminently worth while.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Helen Keller, in Wrentham, Mass.:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ RIVERDALE-ON-THE-HUDSON,
+ ST. PATRICK'S DAY, '03.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR HELEN,&mdash;I must steal half a moment from my work to say how glad
+ I am to have your book, and how highly I value it, both for its own sake
+ and as a remembrances of an affectionate friendship which has subsisted
+ between us for nine years without a break, and without a single act of
+ violence that I can call to mind. I suppose there is nothing like it in
+ heaven; and not likely to be, until we get there and show off. I often
+ think of it with longing, and how they'll say, &ldquo;There they come&mdash;sit
+ down in front!&rdquo; I am practicing with a tin halo. You do the same. I was at
+ Henry Rogers's last night, and of course we talked of you. He is not at
+ all well; you will not like to hear that; but like you and me, he is just
+ as lovely as ever.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I am charmed with your book-enchanted. You are a wonderful creature, the
+ most wonderful in the world&mdash;you and your other half together&mdash;Miss
+ Sullivan, I mean, for it took the pair of you to make a complete and
+ perfect whole. How she stands out in her letters! her brilliancy,
+ penetration, originality, wisdom, character, and the fine literary
+ competencies of her pen&mdash;they are all there.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Oh, dear me, how unspeakably funny and owlishly idiotic and grotesque was
+ that &ldquo;plagiarism&rdquo; farce! As if there was much of anything in any human
+ utterance, oral or written, except plagiarism! The kernel, the soul&mdash;let
+ us go further and say the substance, the bulk, the actual and valuable
+ material of all human utterances&mdash;is plagiarism. For substantially
+ all ideas are second-hand, consciously and unconsciously drawn from a
+ million outside sources, and daily used by the garnerer with a pride and
+ satisfaction born of the superstition that he originated them; whereas
+ there is not a rag of originality about them anywhere except the little
+ discoloration they get from his mental and moral calibre and his
+ temperament, and which is revealed in characteristics of phrasing. When a
+ great orator makes a great speech you are listening to ten centuries and
+ ten thousand men&mdash;but we call it his speech, and really some
+ exceedingly small portion of it is his. But not enough to signify. It is
+ merely a Waterloo. It is Wellington's battle, in some degree, and we call
+ it his; but there are others that contributed. It takes a thousand men to
+ invent a telegraph, or a steam engine, or a phonograph, or a photograph,
+ or a telephone or any other important thing&mdash;and the last man gets
+ the credit and we forget the others. He added his little mite&mdash;that
+ is all he did. These object lessons should teach us that ninety-nine parts
+ of all things that proceed from the intellect are plagiarisms, pure and
+ simple; and the lesson ought to make us modest. But nothing can do that.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Then why don't we unwittingly reproduce the phrasing of a story, as well
+ as the story itself? It can hardly happen&mdash;to the extent of fifty
+ words except in the case of a child: its memory-tablet is not lumbered
+ with impressions, and the actual language can have graving-room there, and
+ preserve the language a year or two, but a grown person's memory-tablet is
+ a palimpsest, with hardly a bare space upon which to engrave a phrase. It
+ must be a very rare thing that a whole page gets so sharply printed upon a
+ man's mind, by a single reading, that it will stay long enough to turn up
+ some time or other and be mistaken by him for his own. No doubt we are
+ constantly littering our literature with disconnected sentences borrowed
+ from books at some unremembered time and now imagined to be our own, but
+ that is about the most we can do. In 1866 I read Dr. Holmes's poems, in
+ the Sandwich Islands. A year and a half later I stole his dictation,
+ without knowing it, and used it to dedicate my &ldquo;Innocents Abroad&rdquo; with.
+ Then years afterwards I was talking with Dr. Holmes about it. He was not
+ an ignorant ass&mdash;no, not he: he was not a collection of decayed human
+ turnips, like your &ldquo;Plagiarism Court;&rdquo; and so when I said, &ldquo;I know now
+ where I stole it, but whom did you steal it from,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I don't
+ remember; I only know I stole it from somebody, because I have never
+ originated anything altogether myself, nor met anybody who had.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To think of those solemn donkeys breaking a little child's heart with
+ their ignorant rubbish about plagiarism! I couldn't sleep for blaspheming
+ about it last night. Why, their whole lives, their whole histories, all
+ their learning, all their thoughts, all their opinions were one solid ruck
+ of plagiarism, and they didn't know it and never suspected it. A gang of
+ dull and hoary pirates piously setting themselves the task of disciplining
+ and purifying a kitten that they think they've caught filching a chop! Oh,
+ dam&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But you finish it, dear, I am running short of vocabulary today. Ever
+ lovingly your friend,
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ (Edited and modified by Clara Clemens, deputy to her mother, who for more
+ than 7 months has been ill in bed and unable to exercise her official
+ function.)
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ The burden of the Clemens household had fallen almost entirely upon
+ Clara Clemens. In addition to supervising its customary affairs,
+ she also shouldered the responsibility of an unusual combination of
+ misfortunes, for besides the critical condition of her mother, her
+ sister, Jean Clemens, was down with pneumonia, no word of which must
+ come to Mrs. Clemens. Certainly it was a difficult position. In
+ some account of it, which he set down later, Clemens wrote: &ldquo;It was
+ fortunate for us all that Clara's reputation for truthfulness was so
+ well established in her mother's mind. It was our daily protection
+ from disaster. The mother never doubted Clara's word. Clara could
+ tell her large improbabilities without exciting any suspicion,
+ whereas if I tried to market even a small and simple one the case
+ would have been different. I was never able to get a reputation
+ like Clara's.&rdquo;
+
+ The accumulation of physical ailments in the Clemens home had
+ somewhat modified Mark Twain's notion of medical practice. He was
+ no longer radical; he had become eclectic. It is a good deal of a
+ concession that he makes to Twichell, after those earlier letters
+ from Sweden, in which osteopathy had been heralded as the anodyne
+ for all human ills.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DEAR JOE,&mdash;Livy does really make a little progress these past 3 or 4
+ days, progress which is visible to even the untrained eye. The physicians
+ are doing good work with her, but my notion is, that no art of healing is
+ the best for all ills. I should distribute the ailments around: surgery
+ cases to the surgeons; lupus to the actinic-ray specialist; nervous
+ prostration to the Christian Scientist; most ills to the allopath and the
+ homeopath; (in my own particular case) rheumatism, gout and bronchial
+ attacks to the osteopathist.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mr. Rogers was to sail southward this morning&mdash;and here is this
+ weather! I am sorry. I think it's a question if he gets away tomorrow.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Ys Ever
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ It was through J. Y. M. MacAlister, to whom the next letter is
+ written, that Mark Twain had become associated with the Plasmon
+ Company, which explains the reference to &ldquo;shares.&rdquo; He had seen much
+ of MacAlister during the winter at Tedworth Square, and had grown
+ fond of him. It is a characteristic letter, and one of interesting
+ fact.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To J. Y. M. MacAlister, in London:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ RIVERDALE, NEW YORK.
+ April, 7, '03.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MACALISTER,&mdash;Yours arrived last night, and God knows I was glad
+ to get it, for I was afraid I had blundered into an offence in some way
+ and forfeited your friendship&mdash;a kind of blunder I have made so many
+ times in my life that I am always standing in a waiting and morbid dread
+ of its occurrence.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Three days ago I was in condition&mdash;during one horribly long night&mdash;to
+ sympathetically roast with you in your &ldquo;hell of troubles.&rdquo; During that
+ night I was back again where I was in the black days when I was buried
+ under a mountain of debt. I called the daughters to me in private council
+ and paralysed them with the announcement, &ldquo;Our outgo has increased in the
+ past 8 months until our expenses are now 125 per cent. greater than our
+ income.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was a mistake. When I came down in the morning a gray and aged wreck,
+ and went over the figures again, I found that in some unaccountable way
+ (unaccountable to a business man but not to me) I had multiplied the
+ totals by 2. By God I dropped 75 years on the floor where I stood.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Do you know it affected me as one is affected when he wakes out of a
+ hideous dream and finds that it was only a dream. It was a great comfort
+ and satisfaction to me to call the daughters to a private meeting of the
+ Board again and say, &ldquo;You need not worry any more; our outgo is only a
+ third more than our income; in a few months your mother will be out of her
+ bed and on her feet again&mdash;then we shall drop back to normal and be
+ all right.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Certainly there is a blistering and awful reality about a well-arranged
+ unreality. It is quite within the possibilities that two or three nights
+ like that night of mine could drive a man to suicide. He would refuse to
+ examine the figures; they would revolt him so, and he could go to his
+ death unaware that there was nothing serious about them. I cannot get that
+ night out of my head, it was so vivid, so real, so ghastly. In any other
+ year of these 33 the relief would have been simple: go where you can cut
+ your cloth to fit your income. You can't do that when your wife can't be
+ moved, even from one room to the next.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Clam spells the trained nurse afternoons; I am allowed to see Mrs. Clemens
+ 20 minutes twice a day and write her two letters a day provided I put no
+ news in them. No other person ever sees her except the physician and now
+ and then a nerve-specialist from New York. She saw there was something the
+ matter that morning, but she got no facts out of me. But that is nothing&mdash;she
+ hasn't had anything but lies for 8 months. A fact would give her a
+ relapse.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The doctor and a specialist met in conspiracy five days ago, and in their
+ belief she will by and by come out of this as good as new, substantially.
+ They ordered her to Italy for next winter&mdash;which seems to indicate
+ that by autumn she will be able to undertake the voyage. So Clara is
+ writing a Florence friend to take a look round among the villas for us in
+ the regions near that city. It seems early to do this, but Joan Bergheim
+ thought it would be wise.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He and his wife lunched with us here yesterday. They have been abroad in
+ Havana 4 months, and they sailed for England this morning.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I am enclosing an order for half of my (your) Founders shares. You are not
+ to refuse them this time, though you have done it twice before. They are
+ yours, not mine, and for your family's sake if not your own you cannot in
+ these cloudy days renounce this property which is so clearly yours and
+ theirs. You have been generous long enough; be just, now to yourself. Mr.
+ Rogers is off yachting for 5 or 6 weeks&mdash;I'll get them when he
+ returns. The head of the house joins me in warmest greetings and
+ remembrances to you and Mrs. MacAlister.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Ever yours,
+ Mark.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ May 8. Great Scott! I never mailed this letter! I addressed it, put
+ &ldquo;Registered&rdquo; on it&mdash;then left it lying unsealed on the arm of my
+ chair, and rushed up to my bed quaking with a chill. I've never been out
+ of the bed since&mdash;oh, bronchitis, rheumatism, two sets of teeth
+ aching, land, I've had a dandy time for 4 weeks. And to-day&mdash;great
+ guns, one of the very worst!...
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I'm devilish sorry, and I do apologise&mdash;for although I am not as slow
+ as you are about answering letters, as a rule, I see where I'm standing
+ this time.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Two weeks ago Jean was taken down again&mdash;this time with measles, and
+ I haven't been able to go to her and she hasn't been able to come to me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But Mrs. Clemens is making nice progress, and can stand alone a moment or
+ two at a time.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Now I'll post this.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ MARK
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ The two letters that follow, though written only a few days apart,
+ were separated in their arrival by a period of seven years. The
+ second letter was, in some way, mislaid and not mailed; and it was
+ not until after the writer of it was dead that it was found and
+ forwarded.
+
+ Mark Twain could never get up much enthusiasm for the writings of
+ Scott. His praise of Quentin Durward is about the only approval he
+ ever accorded to the works of the great romanticist.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Brander Matthews, in New York:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ NEW YORK CITY, May 4, '03.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR BRANDER,&mdash;I haven't been out of my bed for four weeks, but&mdash;well,
+ I have been reading, a good deal, and it occurs to me to ask you to sit
+ down, some time or other when you have 8 or 9 months to spare, and jot me
+ down a certain few literary particulars for my help and elevation. Your
+ time need not be thrown away, for at your further leisure you can make
+ Colombian lectures out of the results and do your students a good turn.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 1. Are there in Sir Walter's novels passages done in good English&mdash;English
+ which is neither slovenly or involved?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 2. Are there passages whose English is not poor and thin and commonplace,
+ but is of a quality above that?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 3. Are there passages which burn with real fire&mdash;not punk, fox-fire,
+ make believe?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 4. Has he heroes and heroines who are not cads and cadesses?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 5. Has he personages whose acts and talk correspond with their characters
+ as described by him?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 6. Has he heroes and heroines whom the reader admires, admires, and knows
+ why?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 7. Has he funny characters that are funny, and humorous passages that are
+ humorous?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 8. Does he ever chain the reader's interest, and make him reluctant to lay
+ the book down?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 9. Are there pages where he ceases from posing, ceases from admiring the
+ placid flood and flow of his own dilutions, ceases from being artificial,
+ and is for a time, long or short, recognizably sincere and in earnest?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 10. Did he know how to write English, and didn't do it because he didn't
+ want to?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 11. Did he use the right word only when he couldn't think of another one,
+ or did he run so much to wrong because he didn't know the right one when
+ he saw it?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 13. Can you read him? and keep your respect for him? Of course a person
+ could in his day&mdash;an era of sentimentality and sloppy romantics&mdash;but
+ land! can a body do it today?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Brander, I lie here dying, slowly dying, under the blight of Sir Walter. I
+ have read the first volume of Rob Roy, and as far as chapter XIX of Guy
+ Mannering, and I can no longer hold my head up nor take my nourishment.
+ Lord, it's all so juvenile! so artificial, so shoddy; and such wax figures
+ and skeletons and spectres. Interest? Why, it is impossible to feel an
+ interest in these bloodless shams, these milk-and-water humbugs. And oh,
+ the poverty of the invention! Not poverty in inventing situations, but
+ poverty in furnishing reasons for them. Sir Walter usually gives himself
+ away when he arranges for a situation&mdash;elaborates, and elaborates,
+ and elaborates, till if you live to get to it you don't believe in it when
+ it happens.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I can't find the rest of Rob Roy, I can't stand any more Mannering&mdash;I
+ do not know just what to do, but I will reflect, and not quit this great
+ study rashly. He was great, in his day, and to his proper audience; and so
+ was God in Jewish times, for that matter, but why should either of them
+ rank high now? And do they?&mdash;honest, now, do they? Dam'd if I believe
+ it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ My, I wish I could see you and Leigh Hunt!
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Sincerely Yours
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Brander Matthews, in New York:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ RIVERDALE, May 8, '03 (Mailed June, 1910).
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR BRANDER,&mdash;I'm still in bed, but the days have lost their dulness
+ since I broke into Sir Walter and lost my temper. I finished Guy Mannering&mdash;that
+ curious, curious book, with its mob of squalid shadows jabbering around a
+ single flesh-and-blood being&mdash;Dinmont; a book crazily put together
+ out of the very refuse of the romance-artist's stage properties&mdash;finished
+ it and took up Quentin Durward, and finished that.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was like leaving the dead to mingle with the living: it was like
+ withdrawing from the infant class in the College of journalism to sit
+ under the lectures in English literature in Columbia University.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I wonder who wrote Quentin Durward?
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Yrs ever
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ In 1903, preparations were going on for a great world's fair, to be
+ held in St. Louis, and among other features proposed was a World's
+ Literary Convention, with a week to be set apart in honor of Mark
+ Twain, and a special Mark Twain Day in it, on which the National
+ Association would hold grand services in honor of the distinguished
+ Missourian. A letter asking his consent to the plan brought the
+ following reply.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To T. F. Gatts, of Missouri:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ NEW YORK, May 30, 1903.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MR. GATTS,&mdash;It is indeed a high compliment which you offer me in
+ naming an association after me and in proposing the setting apart of a
+ Mark Twain day at the great St. Louis fair, but such compliments are not
+ proper for the living; they are proper and safe for the dead only. I value
+ the impulse which moves you to tender me these honors. I value it as
+ highly as any one can, and am grateful for it, but I should stand in a
+ sort of terror of the honors themselves. So long as we remain alive we are
+ not safe from doing things which, however righteously and honorably
+ intended, can wreck our repute and extinguish our friendships.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I hope that no society will be named for me while I am still alive, for I
+ might at some time or other do something which would cause its members to
+ regret having done me that honor. After I shall have joined the dead I
+ shall follow the customs of those people and be guilty of no conduct that
+ can wound any friend; but until that time shall come I shall be a doubtful
+ quantity like the rest of our race.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Very truly yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ The National Mark Twain Association did not surrender easily. Mr.
+ Gatts wrote a second letter full of urgent appeal. If Mark Twain
+ was tempted, we get no hint of it in his answer.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To T. F. Gatts, of Missouri:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ NEW YORK, June 8, 1903.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MR. GATTS,&mdash;While I am deeply touched by the desire of my
+ friends of Hannibal to confer these great honors upon me, I must still
+ forbear to accept them. Spontaneous and unpremeditated honors, like those
+ which came to me at Hannibal, Columbia, St. Louis and at the village
+ stations all down the line, are beyond all price and are a treasure for
+ life in the memory, for they are a free gift out of the heart and they
+ come without solicitations; but I am a Missourian and so I shrink from
+ distinctions which have to be arranged beforehand and with my privity, for
+ I then became a party to my own exalting. I am humanly fond of honors that
+ happen but chary of those that come by canvass and intention. With sincere
+ thanks to you and your associates for this high compliment which you have
+ been minded to offer me, I am,
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Very truly yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ We have seen in the letter to MacAlister that Mark Twain's wife had
+ been ordered to Italy and plans were in progress for an
+ establishment there. By the end of June Mrs. Clemens was able to
+ leave Riverdale, and she made the journey to Quarry Farm, Elmira,
+ where they would remain until October, the month planned for their
+ sailing. The house in Hartford had been sold; and a house which,
+ prior to Mrs. Clemens's breakdown they had bought near Tarrytown
+ (expecting to settle permanently on the Hudson) had been let. They
+ were going to Europe for another indefinite period.
+
+ At Quarry Farm Mrs. Clemens continued to improve, and Clemens, once
+ more able to work, occupied the study which Mrs. Crane had built for
+ him thirty years before, and where Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn and the
+ Wandering Prince had been called into being.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford, Conn.:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ QUARRY FARM, ELMIRA, N. Y.,
+ July 21, '03.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR JOE,&mdash;That love-letter delighted Livy beyond any like utterance
+ received by her these thirty years and more. I was going to answer it for
+ her right away, and said so; but she reserved the privilege to herself. I
+ judge she is accumulating Hot Stuff&mdash;as George Ade would say....
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Livy is coming along: eats well, sleeps some, is mostly very gay, not very
+ often depressed; spends all day on the porch, sleeps there a part of the
+ night, makes excursions in carriage and in wheel-chair; and, in the matter
+ of superintending everything and everybody, has resumed business at the
+ old stand.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Did you ever go house-hunting 3,000 miles away? It costs three months of
+ writing and telegraphing to pull off a success. We finished 3 or 4 days
+ ago, and took the Villa Papiniano (dam the name, I have to look at it a
+ minutes after writing it, and then am always in doubt) for a year by
+ cable. Three miles outside of Florence, under Fiesole&mdash;a darling
+ location, and apparently a choice house, near Fiske.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ There's 7 in our gang. All women but me. It means trunks and things. But
+ thanks be! To-day (this is private) comes a most handsome voluntary
+ document with seals and escutcheons on it from the Italian Ambassador (who
+ is a stranger to me) commanding the Customs people to keep their hands off
+ the Clemens's things. Now wasn't it lovely of him? And wasn't it lovely of
+ me to let Livy take a pencil and edit my answer and knock a good third of
+ it out?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And that's a nice ship&mdash;the Irene! new&mdash;swift&mdash;13,000 tons&mdash;rooms
+ up in the sky, open to sun and air&mdash;and all that. I was desperately
+ troubled for Livy&mdash;about the down-cellar cells in the ancient
+ &ldquo;Latin.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The cubs are in Riverdale, yet; they come to us the first week in August.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ With lots and lots of love to you all,
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ The arrangement for the Villa Papiniano was not completed, after
+ all, and through a good friend, George Gregory Smith, a resident of
+ Florence, the Villa Quarto, an ancient home of royalty, on the hills
+ west of Florence, was engaged. Smith wrote that it was a very
+ beautiful place with a south-eastern exposure, looking out toward
+ Valombrosa and the Chianti Hills. It had extensive grounds and
+ stables, and the annual rental for it all was two thousand dollars a
+ year. It seemed an ideal place, in prospect, and there was great
+ hope that Mrs. Clemens would find her health once more in the
+ Italian climate which she loved.
+
+ Perhaps at this point, when Mark Twain is once more leaving America,
+ we may offer two letters from strangers to him&mdash;letters of
+ appreciation&mdash;such as he was constantly receiving from those among
+ the thousands to whom he had given happiness. The first is from
+ Samuel Merwin, one day to become a popular novelist, then in the
+ hour of his beginnings.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Mark Twain, from Samuel Merwin:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ PLAINFIELD, N. J.
+ August 4, 1903.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MR. CLEMENS,&mdash;For a good many years I have been struggling with
+ the temptation to write you and thank you for the work you have done; and
+ to-day I seem to be yielding.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ During the past two years I have been reading through a group of writers
+ who seem to me to represent about the best we have&mdash;Sir Thomas
+ Malory, Spenser, Shakespeare, Boswell, Carlyle, Le Sage. In thinking over
+ one and then another, and then all of them together, it was plain to see
+ why they were great men and writers: each brought to his time some new
+ blood, new ideas,&mdash;turned a new current into the stream. I suppose
+ there have always been the careful, painstaking writers, the men who are
+ always taken so seriously by their fellow craftsmen. It seems to be the
+ unconventional man who is so rare&mdash;I mean the honestly unconventional
+ man, who has to express himself in his own big way because the
+ conventional way isn't big enough, because ne needs room and freedom.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We have a group of the more or less conventional men now&mdash;men of
+ dignity and literary position. But in spite of their influence and of all
+ the work they have done, there isn't one of them to whom one can give
+ one's self up without reservation, not one whose ideas seem based on the
+ deep foundation of all true philosophy,&mdash;except Mark Twain.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I hope this letter is not an impertinence. I have just been turning about,
+ with my head full of Spenser and Shakespeare and &ldquo;Gil Blas,&rdquo; looking for
+ something in our own present day literature to which I could surrender
+ myself as to those five gripping old writings. And nothing could I find
+ until I took up &ldquo;Life on the Mississippi,&rdquo; and &ldquo;Huckleberry Finn,&rdquo; and,
+ just now, the &ldquo;Connecticut Yankee.&rdquo; It isn't the first time I have read
+ any of these three, and it's because I know it won't be the last, because
+ these books are the only ones written in my lifetime that claim my
+ unreserved interest and admiration and, above all, my feelings, that I've
+ felt I had to write this letter.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I like to think that &ldquo;Tom Sawyer&rdquo; and &ldquo;Huckleberry Finn&rdquo; will be looked
+ upon, fifty or a hundred years from now, as the picture of buoyant,
+ dramatic, human American life. I feel, deep in my own heart, pretty sure
+ that they will be. They won't be looked on then as the work of a
+ &ldquo;humorist&rdquo; any more than we think of Shakespeare as a humorist now. I
+ don't mean by this to set up a comparison between Mark Twain and
+ Shakespeare: I don't feel competent to do it; and I'm not at all sure that
+ it could be done until Mark Twain's work shall have its fair share of
+ historical perspective. But Shakespeare was a humorist and so, thank
+ Heaven! is Mark Twain. And Shakespeare plunged deep into the deep, sad
+ things of life; and so, in a different way (but in a way that has more
+ than once brought tears to my eyes) has Mark Twain. But after all, it
+ isn't because of any resemblance for anything that was ever before written
+ that Mark Twain's books strike in so deep: it's rather because they've
+ brought something really new into our literature&mdash;new, yet old as
+ Adam and Eve and the Apple. And this achievement, the achievement of
+ putting something into literature that was not there before, is, I should
+ think, the most that any writer can ever hope to do. It is the one mark of
+ distinction between the &ldquo;lonesome&rdquo; little group of big men and the vast
+ herd of medium and small ones. Anyhow, this much I am sure of&mdash;to the
+ young man who hopes, however feebly, to accomplish a little something,
+ someday, as a writer, the one inspiring example of our time is Mark Twain.
+ Very truly yours, SAMUEL MERWIN.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mark Twain once said he could live a month on a good compliment, and from
+ his reply, we may believe this one to belong in, that class.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Samuel Merwin, in Plainfield, N. J.:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Aug. 16, '03.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MR. MERWIN,&mdash;What you have said has given me deep pleasure&mdash;indeed
+ I think no words could be said that could give me more.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Very sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ The next &ldquo;compliment&rdquo; is from one who remains unknown, for she
+ failed to sign her name in full. But it is a lovely letter, and
+ loses nothing by the fact that the writer of it was willing to
+ remain in obscurity.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Mark Twain, from Margaret M&mdash;&mdash;:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ PORTLAND, OREGON
+ Aug. 18, 1903.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ MY DEAR, DEAR MARK TWAIN,&mdash;May a little girl write and tell you how
+ dearly she loves and admires your writings? Well, I do and I want to tell
+ you your ownself. Don't think me too impertinent for indeed I don't mean
+ to be that! I have read everything of yours that I could get and parts
+ that touch me I have read over and over again. They seem such dear friends
+ to me, so like real live human beings talking and laughing, working and
+ suffering too! One cannot but feel that it is your own life and experience
+ that you have painted. So do not wonder that you seem a dear friend to me
+ who has never even seen you. I often think of you as such in my own
+ thoughts. I wonder if you will laugh when I tell you I have made a hero of
+ you? For when people seem very sordid and mean and stupid (and it seems as
+ if everybody was) then the thought will come like a little crumb of
+ comfort &ldquo;well, Mark Twain isn't anyway.&rdquo; And it does really brighten me
+ up.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ You see I have gotten an idea that you are a great, bright spirit of
+ kindness and tenderness. One who can twist everybody's-even your
+ own-faults and absurdities into hearty laughs. Even the person mocked must
+ laugh! Oh, Dear! How often you have made me laugh! And yet as often you
+ have struck something infinite away down deep in my heart so that I want
+ to cry while half laughing!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ So this all means that I want to thank you and to tell you. &ldquo;God always
+ love Mark Twain!&rdquo; is often my wish. I dearly love to read books, and I
+ never tire of reading yours; they always have a charm for me. Good-bye, I
+ am afraid I have not expressed what I feel. But at least I have tried.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Sincerely yours.
+ MARGARET M.&mdash;&mdash;
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Clemens and family left Elmira October the 5th for New York City.
+ They remained at the Hotel Grosvenor until their sailing date,
+ October 24th. A few days earlier, Mr. Frank Doubleday sent a volume
+ of Kipling's poems and de Blowitz's Memoirs for entertainment on the
+ ship. Mark Twain's acknowledgment follows.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To F. N. Doubleday, in New York:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ THE GROSVENOR,
+ October 12, '03.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR DOUBLEDAY,&mdash;The books came&mdash;ever so many thanks. I have
+ been reading &ldquo;The Bell Buoy&rdquo; and &ldquo;The Old Men&rdquo; over and over again&mdash;my
+ custom with Kipling's work-and saving up the rest for other leisurely and
+ luxurious meals. A bell-buoy is a deeply impressive fellow-being. In these
+ many recent trips up and down the Sound in the Kanawha&mdash;[Mr. Rogers's
+ yacht.]&mdash;he has talked to me nightly, sometimes in his pathetic and
+ melancholy way, sometimes with his strenuous and urgent note, and I got
+ his meaning&mdash;now I have his words! No one but Kipling could do this
+ strong and vivid thing. Some day I hope to hear the poem chanted or sung&mdash;with
+ the bell-buoy breaking in, out of the distance.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;The Old Men,&rdquo; delicious, isn't it? And so comically true. I haven't
+ arrived there yet, but I suppose I am on the way....
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Yours ever,
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ P. S. Your letter has arrived. It makes me proud and glad&mdash;what
+ Kipling says. I hope Fate will fetch him to Florence while we are there. I
+ would rather see him than any other man.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We've let the Tarrytown house for a year. Man, you would never have
+ believed a person could let a house in these times. That one's for sale,
+ the Hartford one is sold. When we buy again may we&mdash;may I&mdash;be
+ damned....
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I've dipped into Blowitz and find him quaintly and curiously interesting.
+ I think he tells the straight truth, too. I knew him a little, 23 years
+ ago.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ The appreciative word which Kipling had sent Doubleday was: &ldquo;I love
+ to think of the great and God-like Clemens. He is the biggest man
+ you have on your side of the water by a damn sight, and don't you
+ forget it. Cervantes was a relation of his.&rdquo;
+ </pre>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ XLIII. LETTERS OF 1904. TO VARIOUS PERSONS. LIFE IN VILLA QUARTO. DEATH OF
+ MRS. CLEMENS. THE RETURN TO AMERICA.
+ </h2>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Mrs. Clemens stood the voyage to Italy very well and, in due
+ time, the family were installed in the Villa Reale di
+ Quarto, the picturesque old Palace of Cosimo, a spacious,
+ luxurious place, even if not entirely cheerful or always
+ comfortable during the changeable Tuscan winter.
+ Congratulated in a letter from MacAlister in being in the
+ midst of Florentine sunshine, he answered: &ldquo;Florentine
+ sunshine? Bless you, there isn't any. We have heavy fogs
+ every morning, and rain all day. This house is not merely
+ large, it is vast&mdash;therefore I think it must always lack the
+ home feeling.&rdquo;
+
+ Neither was their landlady, the American wife of an Italian
+ count, all that could be desired. From a letter to
+ Twichell, however, we learn that Mark Twain's work was
+ progressing well.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ VILLA DI QUARTO,
+ FLORENCE, Jan. 7, '04.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR JOE,&mdash;... I have had a handsome success, in one way, here. I
+ left New York under a sort of half promise to furnish to the Harper
+ magazines 30,000 words this year. Magazining is difficult work because
+ every third page represents 2 pages that you have put in the fire;
+ (because you are nearly sure to start wrong twice) and so when you have
+ finished an article and are willing to let it go to print it represents
+ only 10 cents a word instead of 30.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But this time I had the curious (and unprecedented) luck to start right in
+ each case. I turned out 37,000 words in 25 working days; and the reason I
+ think I started right every time is, that not only have I approved and
+ accepted the several articles, but the court of last resort (Livy) has
+ done the same.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On many of the between-days I did some work, but only of an idle and not
+ necessarily necessary sort, since it will not see print until I am dead. I
+ shall continue this (an hour per day) but the rest of the year I expect to
+ put in on a couple of long books (half-completed ones.) No more
+ magazine-work hanging over my head.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This secluded and silent solitude this clean, soft air and this enchanting
+ view of Florence, the great valley and the snow-mountains that frame it
+ are the right conditions for work. They are a persistent inspiration.
+ To-day is very lovely; when the afternoon arrives there will be a new
+ picture every hour till dark, and each of them divine&mdash;or progressing
+ from divine to diviner and divinest. On this (second) floor Clara's room
+ commands the finest; she keeps a window ten feet high wide open all the
+ time and frames it in. I go in from time to time, every day and trade sass
+ for a look. The central detail is a distant and stately snow-hump that
+ rises above and behind blackforested hills, and its sloping vast
+ buttresses, velvety and sun-polished with purple shadows between, make the
+ sort of picture we knew that time we walked in Switzerland in the days of
+ our youth.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I wish I could show your letter to Livy&mdash;but she must wait a week or
+ so for it. I think I told you she had a prostrating week of tonsillitis a
+ month ago; she has remained very feeble ever since, and confined to the
+ bed of course, but we allow ourselves to believe she will regain the lost
+ ground in another month. Her physician is Professor Grocco&mdash;she could
+ not have a better. And she has a very good trained nurse.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Love to all of you from all of us. And to all of our dear Hartford
+ friends.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ MARK
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ P. S. 3 days later.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Livy is as remarkable as ever. The day I wrote you&mdash;that night, I
+ mean&mdash;she had a bitter attack of gout or rheumatism occupying the
+ whole left arm from shoulder to fingers, accompanied by fever. The pains
+ racked her 50 or 60 hours; they have departed, now&mdash;and already she
+ is planning a trip to Egypt next fall, and a winter's sojourn there! This
+ is life in her yet.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ You will be surprised that I was willing to do so much magazine-writing&mdash;a
+ thing I have always been chary about&mdash;but I had good reasons. Our
+ expenses have been so prodigious for a year and a half, and are still so
+ prodigious, that Livy was worrying altogether too much about them, and
+ doing a very dangerous amount of lying awake on their account. It was
+ necessary to stop that, and it is now stopped.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Yes, she is remarkable, Joe. Her rheumatic attack set me to cursing and
+ swearing, without limit as to time or energy, but it merely concentrated
+ her patience and her unconquerable fortitude. It is the difference between
+ us. I can't count the different kinds of ailments which have assaulted her
+ in this fiendish year and a half&mdash;and I forgive none of them&mdash;but
+ here she comes up again as bright and fresh and enterprising as ever, and
+ goes to planning about Egypt, with a hope and a confidence which are to me
+ amazing.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Clara is calling for me&mdash;we have to go into town and pay calls.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ In Florence, that winter, Clemens began dictating to his secretary
+ some autobiographical chapters. This was the work which was &ldquo;not to
+ see print until I am dead.&rdquo; He found it a pleasant, lazy occupation
+ and wrote his delight in it to Howells in a letter which seems not
+ to have survived. In his reply, Howells wrote: &ldquo;You do stir me
+ mightily with the hope of dictating and I will try it when I get the
+ chance. But there is the tempermental difference. You are dramatic
+ and unconscious; you count the thing more than yourself; I am cursed
+ with consciousness to the core, and can't say myself out; I am
+ always saying myself in, and setting myself above all that I say, as
+ of more worth. Lately I have felt as if I were rotting with
+ egotism. I don't admire myself; I am sick of myself; but I can't
+ think of anything else. Here I am at it now, when I ought to be
+ rejoicing with you at the blessing you have found.... I'd like,
+ immensely, to read your autobiography. You always rather bewildered
+ me by your veracity, and I fancy you may tell the truth about
+ yourself. But all of it? The black truth which we all know of
+ ourselves in our hearts, or only the whity-brown truth of the
+ pericardium, or the nice, whitened truth of the shirtfront? Even
+ you won't tell the black heart's&mdash;truth. The man who could do it
+ would be famed to the last day the sun shone upon.&rdquo;
+
+ We gather from Mark Twain's answer that he was not deceiving himself
+ in the matter of his confessions.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To W. D. Howells, in New York:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ March 14, '04.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR HOWELLS,&mdash;Yes, I set up the safeguards, in the first day's
+ dictating; taking this position: that an autobiography is the truest of
+ all books; for while it inevitably consists mainly of extinctions of the
+ truth, shirkings of the truth, partial revealments of the truth, with
+ hardly an instance of plain straight truth, the remorseless truth is
+ there, between the lines, where the author is raking dust upon it, the
+ result being that the reader knows the author in spite of his wily
+ diligences.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The summer in England! you can't ask better luck than that. Then you will
+ run over to Florence; we shall all be hungry to see you-all. We are
+ hunting for another villa, (this one is plenty large enough but has no
+ room in it) but even if we find it I am afraid it will be months before we
+ can move Mrs. Clemens. Of course it will. But it comforts us to let on
+ that we think otherwise, and these pretensions help to keep hope alive in
+ her.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Good-bye, with love, Amen.
+ Yours ever
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ News came of the death of Henry M. Stanley, one of Mark Twain's
+ oldest friends. Clemens once said that he had met Stanley in St.
+ Louis where he (Clemens) had delivered a lecture which Stanley had
+ reported. In the following letter he fixes the date of their
+ meeting as early in 1867, which would be immediately after Mark
+ Twain's return from California, and just prior to the Quaker City
+ excursion&mdash;a fact which is interesting only because it places the
+ two men together when each was at the very beginning of a great
+ career.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Lady Stanley, in England:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FIRENZE, May 11, '04.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR LADY STANLEY,&mdash;I have lost a dear and honored friend&mdash;how
+ fast they fall about me now, in my age! The world has lost a tried and
+ proved hero. And you&mdash;what have you lost? It is beyond estimate&mdash;we
+ who know you, and what he was to you, know that. How far he stretches
+ across my life! I knew him when his work was all before him five years
+ before the great day that he wrote his name far-away up on the blue of the
+ sky for the world to see and applaud and remember; I have known him as
+ friend and intimate ever since. It is 37 years. I have known no other
+ friend and intimate so long, except John Hay&mdash;a friendship which
+ dates from the same year and the same half of it, the first half of 1867.
+ I grieve with you and with your family, dear Lady Stanley, it is all I can
+ do; but that I do out of my heart. It would be we, instead of I, if Mrs.
+ Clemens knew, but in all these 20 months that she has lain a prisoner in
+ her bed we have hidden from her all things that could sadden her. Many a
+ friend is gone whom she still asks about and still thinks is living.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In deepest sympathy I beg the privilege of signing myself
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Your friend,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, May 11, '04
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR JOE,&mdash;Yours has this moment arrived&mdash;just as I was
+ finishing a note to poor Lady Stanley. I believe the last country-house
+ visit we paid in England was to Stanley's. Lord, how my friends and
+ acquaintances fall about me now, in my gray-headed days! Vereschagin,
+ Mommsen, Dvorak, Lenbach, Jokai&mdash;all so recently, and now Stanley. I
+ had known Stanley 37 years. Goodness, who is it I haven't known! As a rule
+ the necrologies find me personally interested&mdash;when they treat of old
+ stagers. Generally when a man dies who is worth cabling, it happens that I
+ have run across him somewhere, some time or other.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Oh, say! Down by the Laurentian Library there's a marble image that has
+ been sitting on its pedestal some 450 Years, if my dates are right&mdash;Cosimo
+ I. I've seen the back of it many a time, but not the front; but yesterday
+ I twisted my head around after we had driven by, and the profane
+ exclamation burst from my mouth before I could think: &ldquo;there's Chauncey
+ Depew!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I mean to get a photo of it&mdash;and use it if it confirms yesterday's
+ conviction. That's a very nice word from the Catholic Magazine and I am
+ glad you sent it. I mean to show it to my priest&mdash;we are very fond of
+ him. He is a stealing man, and is also learnedly scientific. He invented
+ the thing which records the seismatic disturbances, for the peoples of the
+ earth. And he's an astronomer and has an observatory of his own.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Ah, many's the cry I have, over reflecting that maybe we could have had
+ Young Harmony for Livy, and didn't have wit enough to think of it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Speaking of Livy reminds me that your inquiry arrives at a good time
+ (unberufen) It has been weeks (I don't know how many!) since we could have
+ said a hopeful word, but this morning Katy came the minute the day-nurse
+ came on watch and said words of a strange and long-forgotten sound: &ldquo;Mr.
+ Clemens, Mrs. Clemens is really and truly better!&mdash;anybody can see
+ it; she sees it herself; and last night at 9 o'clock she said it.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ There&mdash;it is heart-warming, it is splendid, it is sublime; let us
+ enjoy it, let us make the most of it today&mdash;and bet not a farthing on
+ tomorrow. The tomorrows have nothing for us. Too many times they have
+ breathed the word of promise to our ear and broken it to our hope. We take
+ no tomorrow's word any more.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ You've done a wonder, Joe: you've written a letter that can be sent in to
+ Livy&mdash;that doesn't often happen, when either a friend or a stranger
+ writes. You did whirl in a P. S. that wouldn't do, but you wrote it on a
+ margin of a page in such a way that I was able to clip off the margin
+ clear across both pages, and now Livy won't perceive that the sheet isn't
+ the same size it used to was. It was about Aldrich's son, and I came near
+ forgetting to remove it. It should have been written on a loose strip and
+ enclosed. That son died on the 5th of March and Aldrich wrote me on the
+ night before that his minutes were numbered. On the 18th Livy asked after
+ that patient, and I was prepared, and able to give her a grateful surprise
+ by telling her &ldquo;the Aldriches are no longer uneasy about him.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I do wish I could have been present and heard Charley Clark. When he can't
+ light up a dark place nobody can.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ With lots of love to you all.
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Mrs. Clemens had her bad days and her good days-days when there
+ seemed no ray of light, and others that seemed almost to promise
+ recovery. The foregoing letter to Twichell, and the one which
+ follows, to Richard Watson Gilder, reflect the hope and fear that
+ daily and hourly alternated at Villa Quarto
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Richard Watson Gilder, in New York:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ May 12, '04.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR GILDER,&mdash;A friend of ours (the Baroness de Nolda) was here this
+ afternoon and wanted a note of introduction to the Century, for she has
+ something to sell to you in case you'll want to make her an offer after
+ seeing a sample of the goods. I said &ldquo;With pleasure: get the goods ready,
+ send the same to me, I will have Jean type-write them, then I will mail
+ them to the Century and tonight I will write the note to Mr. Gilder and
+ start it along. Also write me a letter embodying what you have been saying
+ to me about the goods and your proposed plan of arranging and explaining
+ them, and I will forward that to Gilder too.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As to the Baroness. She is a German; 30 years old; was married at 17; is
+ very pretty-indeed I might say very pretty; has a lot of sons (5) running
+ up from seven to 12 years old. Her husband is a Russian. They live half
+ the time in Russia and the other half in Florence, and supply population
+ alternately to the one country and then to the other. Of course it is a
+ family that speaks languages. This occurs at their table&mdash;I know it
+ by experience: It is Babel come again. The other day, when no guests were
+ present to keep order, the tribes were all talking at once, and 6
+ languages were being traded in; at last the littlest boy lost his temper
+ and screamed out at the top of his voice, with angry sobs: &ldquo;Mais,
+ vraiment, io non capisco gar nichts.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The Baroness is a little afraid of her English, therefore she will write
+ her remarks in French&mdash;I said there's a plenty of translators in New
+ York. Examine her samples and drop her a line.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For two entire days, now, we have not been anxious about Mrs. Clemens
+ (unberufen). After 20 months of bed-ridden solitude and bodily misery she
+ all of a sudden ceases to be a pallid shrunken shadow, and looks bright
+ and young and pretty. She remains what she always was, the most wonderful
+ creature of fortitude, patience, endurance and recuperative power that
+ ever was. But ah, dear, it won't last; this fiendish malady will play new
+ treacheries upon her, and I shall go back to my prayers again&mdash;unutterable
+ from any pulpit!
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ With love to you and yours,
+ S. L. C.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ May 13 10 A.M. I have just paid one of my pair of permitted 2 minutes
+ visits per day to the sick room. And found what I have learned to expect&mdash;retrogression,
+ and that pathetic something in the eye which betrays the secret of a
+ waning hope.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ The year of the World's Fair had come, and an invitation from Gov.
+ Francis, of Missouri, came to Mark Twain in Florence, personally
+ inviting him to attend the great celebration and carry off first
+ prize. We may believe that Clemens felt little in the spirit of
+ humor, but to such an invitation he must send a cheerful, even if
+ disappointing, answer.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Gov. Francis, of Missouri:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FIRENZE,
+ May 26, 1904.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR GOVERNOR FRANCIS,&mdash;It has been a dear wish of mine to exhibit
+ myself at the Great Fair and get a prize, but circumstances beyond my
+ control have interfered, and I must remain in Florence. Although I have
+ never taken prizes anywhere else I used to take them at school in Missouri
+ half a century ago, and I ought to be able to repeat, now, if I could have
+ a chance. I used to get the medal for good spelling, every week, and I
+ could have had the medal for good conduct if there hadn't been so much
+ corruption in Missouri in those days; still, I got it several times by
+ trading medals and giving boot. I am willing to give boot now, if&mdash;however,
+ those days are forever gone by in Missouri, and perhaps it is better so.
+ Nothing ever stops the way it was in this changeable world. Although I
+ cannot be at the Fair, I am going to be represented there anyway, by a
+ portrait, by Professor Gelli. You will find it excellent. Good judges here
+ say it is better than the original. They say it has all the merits of the
+ original and keeps still, besides. It sounds like flattery, but it is just
+ true.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I suppose you will get a prize, because you have created the most
+ prodigious and in all ways most wonderful Fair the planet has ever seen.
+ Very well, you have indeed earned it: and with it the gratitude of the
+ State and the nation.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Sincerely yours,
+ MARK TWAIN
+
+ It was only a few days after the foregoing was written that death
+ entered Villa Quarto&mdash;unexpectedly at last&mdash;for with the first June
+ days Mrs. Clemens had seemed really to improve. It was on Sunday,
+ June 5th, that the end came. Clemens, with his daughter Jean, had
+ returned from a long drive, during which they had visited a Villa
+ with the thought of purchase. On their return they were told that
+ their patient had been better that afternoon than for three months.
+ Yet it was only a few hours later that she left them, so suddenly
+ and quietly that even those near her did not at first realize that
+ she was gone.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To W. D. Howells, in New York.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ June 6, '94.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR HOWELLS,&mdash;Last night at 9.20 I entered Mrs. Clemens's room to
+ say the usual goodnight&mdash;and she was dead&mdash;tho' no one knew it.
+ She had been cheerfully talking, a moment before. She was sitting up in
+ bed&mdash;she had not lain down for months&mdash;and Katie and the nurse
+ were supporting her. They supposed she had fainted, and they were holding
+ the oxygen pipe to her mouth, expecting to revive her. I bent over her and
+ looked in her face, and I think I spoke&mdash;I was surprised and troubled
+ that she did not notice me. Then we understood, and our hearts broke. How
+ poor we are today!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But how thankful I am that her persecutions are ended. I would not call
+ her back if I could.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Today, treasured in her worn old Testament, I found a dear and gentle
+ letter from you, dated Far Rockaway, Sept. 13, 1896, about our poor Susy's
+ death. I am tired and old; I wish I were with Livy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I send my love-and hers-to you all.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ S. L. C.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ In a letter to Twichell he wrote: &ldquo;How sweet she was in death; how
+ young, how beautiful, how like her dear, girlish self cf thirty
+ years ago; not a gray hair showing.&rdquo;
+
+ The family was now without plans for the future until they
+ remembered the summer home of R. W. Gilder, at Tyringham,
+ Massachusetts, and the possibility of finding lodgment for
+ themselves in that secluded corner of New England. Clemens wrote
+ without delay, as follows:
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To R. W. Gilder, in New York:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ June 7, '04.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR GILDER FAMILY,&mdash;I have been worrying and worrying to know what
+ to do: at last I went to the girls with an idea: to ask the Gilders to get
+ us shelter near their summer home. It was the first time they have not
+ shaken their heads. So to-morrow I will cable to you and shall hope to be
+ in time.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ An hour ago the best heart that ever beat for me and mine went silent out
+ of this house, and I am as one who wanders and has lost his way. She who
+ is gone was our head, she was our hands. We are now trying to make plans&mdash;we:
+ we who have never made a plan before, nor ever needed to. If she could
+ speak to us she would make it all simple and easy with a word, and our
+ perplexities would vanish away. If she had known she was near to death she
+ would have told us where to go and what to do: but she was not suspecting,
+ neither were we. (She had been chatting cheerfully a moment before, and in
+ an instant she was gone from us and we did not know it. We were not
+ alarmed, we did not know anything had happened. It was a blessed death&mdash;she
+ passed away without knowing it.) She was all our riches and she is gone:
+ she was our breath, she was our life and now we are nothing.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We send you our love&mdash;and with it the love of you that was in her
+ heart when she died.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Howells wrote his words of sympathy, adding: &ldquo;The character which
+ now remains a memory was one of the most perfect ever formed on the
+ earth,&rdquo; and again, after having received Clemens's letter: &ldquo;I cannot
+ speak of your wife's having kept that letter of mine where she did.
+ You know how it must humiliate a man in his unworthiness to have
+ anything of his so consecrated. She hallowed what she touched, far
+ beyond priests.&rdquo;
+ </pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To W. D. Howells, in New York:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, '04.
+ June 12, 6 p. m.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR HOWELLS,&mdash;We have to sit and hold our hands and wait&mdash;in
+ the silence and solitude of this prodigious house; wait until June 25,
+ then we go to Naples and sail in the Prince Oscar the 26th. There is a
+ ship 12 days earlier (but we came in that one.) I see Clara twice a day&mdash;morning
+ and evening&mdash;greeting&mdash;nothing more is allowed. She keeps her
+ bed, and says nothing. She has not cried yet. I wish she could cry. It
+ would break Livy's heart to see Clara. We excuse ourselves from all the
+ friends that call&mdash;though of course only intimates come. Intimates&mdash;but
+ they are not the old old friends, the friends of the old, old times when
+ we laughed.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Shall we ever laugh again? If I could only see a dog that I knew in the
+ old times! and could put my arms around his neck and tell him all,
+ everything, and ease my heart.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Think&mdash;in 3 hours it will be a week!&mdash;and soon a month; and by
+ and by a year. How fast our dead fly from us.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She loved you so, and was always as pleased as a child with any notice you
+ took of her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Soon your wife will be with you, oh fortunate man! And John, whom mine was
+ so fond of. The sight of him was such a delight to her. Lord, the old
+ friends, how dear they are.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ S. L. C.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Rev. J. R. Twichell, in Hartford:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ June 18, '04.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR JOE,&mdash;It is 13 days. I am bewildered and must remain so for a
+ time longer. It was so sudden, so unexpected. Imagine a man worth a
+ hundred millions who finds himself suddenly penniless and fifty million in
+ debt in his old age.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I was richer than any other person in the world, and now I am that pauper
+ without peer. Some day I will tell you about it, not now.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ A tide of condolence flowed in from all parts of the world. It was
+ impossible to answer all. Only a few who had been their closest
+ friends received a written line, but the little printed
+ acknowledgment which was returned was no mere formality. It was a
+ heartfelt, personal word.
+
+ They arrived in America in July, and were accompanied by Twichell to
+ Elmira, and on the 14th Mrs. Clemens was laid to rest by the side of
+ Susy and little Langdon. R. W. Gilder had arranged for them to
+ occupy, for the summer, a cottage on his place at Tyringham, in the
+ Berkshire Hills. By November they were at the Grosvenor, in New
+ York, preparing to establish themselves in a house which they had
+ taken on the corner of Ninth Street and Fifth Avenue&mdash;Number 21.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To F. N. Doubleday, in New York:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DEAR DOUBLEDAY,&mdash;I did not know you were going to England: I would
+ have freighted you with such messages of homage and affection to Kipling.
+ And I would have pressed his hand, through you, for his sympathy with me
+ in my crushing loss, as expressed by him in his letter to Gilder. You know
+ my feeling for Kipling and that it antedates that expression.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I was glad that the boys came here to invite me to the house-warming and I
+ think they understood why a man in the shadow of a calamity like mine
+ could not go.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It has taken three months to repair and renovate our house&mdash;corner of
+ 9th and 5th Avenue, but I shall be in it in io or 15 days hence. Much of
+ the furniture went into it today (from Hartford). We have not seen it for
+ 13 years. Katy Leary, our old housekeeper, who has been in our service
+ more than 24 years, cried when she told me about it to-day. She said &ldquo;I
+ had forgotten it was so beautiful, and it brought Mrs. Clemens right back
+ to me&mdash;in that old time when she was so young and lovely.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Jean and my secretary and the servants whom we brought from Italy because
+ Mrs. Clemens liked them so well, are still keeping house in the Berkshire
+ hills&mdash;and waiting. Clara (nervously wrecked by her mother's death)
+ is in the hands of a specialist in 69th St., and I shall not be allowed to
+ have any communication with her&mdash;even telephone&mdash;for a year. I
+ am in this comfortable little hotel, and still in bed&mdash;for I dasn't
+ budge till I'm safe from my pet devil, bronchitis.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Isn't it pathetic? One hour and ten minutes before Mrs. Clemens died I was
+ saying to her &ldquo;To-day, after five months search, I've found the villa that
+ will content you: to-morrow you will examine the plans and give it your
+ consent and I will buy it.&rdquo; Her eyes danced with pleasure, for she longed
+ for a home of her own. And there, on that morrow, she lay white and cold.
+ And unresponsive to my reverent caresses&mdash;a new thing to me and a new
+ thing to her; that had not happened before in five and thirty years.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I am coming to see you and Mrs. Doubleday by and bye. She loved and
+ honored Mrs. Doubleday and her work.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Always yours,
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ It was a presidential year and the air was thick with politics.
+ Mark Twain was no longer actively interested in the political
+ situation; he was only disheartened by the hollowness and pretense
+ of office-seeking, and the methods of office-seekers in general.
+ Grieved that Twichell should still pin his faith to any party when
+ all parties were so obviously venal and time-serving, he wrote in
+ outspoken and rather somber protest.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ THE GROSVENOR, Nov. 4, '04.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ Oh, dear! get out of that sewer&mdash;party politics&mdash;dear Joe. At
+ least with your mouth. We hail only two men who could make speeches for
+ their parties and preserve their honor and their dignity. One of them is
+ dead. Possibly there were four. I am sorry for John Hay; sorry and
+ ashamed. And yet I know he couldn't help it. He wears the collar, and he
+ had to pay the penalty. Certainly he had no more desire to stand up before
+ a mob of confiding human incapables and debauch them than you had.
+ Certainly he took no more real pleasure in distorting history, concealing
+ facts, propagating immoralities, and appealing to the sordid side of human
+ nature than did you; but he was his party's property, and he had to climb
+ away down and do it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It is interesting, wonderfully interesting&mdash;the miracles which
+ party-politics can do with a man's mental and moral make-up. Look at
+ McKinley, Roosevelt, and yourself: in private life spotless in character;
+ honorable, honest, just, humane, generous; scorning trickeries,
+ treacheries, suppressions of the truth, mistranslations of the meanings of
+ facts, the filching of credit earned by another, the condoning of crime,
+ the glorifying of base acts: in public political life the reverse of all
+ this.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ McKinley was a silverite&mdash;you concealed it. Roosevelt was a silverite&mdash;you
+ concealed it. Parker was a silverite&mdash;you publish it. Along with a
+ shudder and a warning: &ldquo;He was unsafe then. Is he any safer now?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Joe, even I could be guilty of such a thing as that&mdash;if I were in
+ party-politics; I really believe it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mr. Cleveland gave the country the gold standard; by implication you
+ credit the matter to the Republican party.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ By implication you prove the whole annual pension-scoop, concealing the
+ fact that the bulk of the money goes to people who in no way deserve it.
+ You imply that all the batteners upon this bribery-fund are Republicans.
+ An indiscreet confession, since about half of them must have been
+ Democrats before they were bought.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ You as good as praise Order 78. It is true you do not shout, and you do
+ not linger, you only whisper and skip&mdash;still, what little you do in
+ the matter is complimentary to the crime.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It means, if it means anything, that our outlying properties will all be
+ given up by the Democrats, and our flag hauled down. All of them? Not only
+ the properties stolen by Mr. McKinley and Mr. Roosevelt, but the
+ properties honestly acquired? Joe, did you believe that hardy statement
+ when you made it? Yet you made it, and there it stands in permanent print.
+ Now what moral law would suffer if we should give up the stolen ones? But&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You know our standard-bearer. He will maintain all that we have gained&rdquo;&mdash;by
+ whatever process. Land, I believe you!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ By George, Joe, you are as handy at the game as if you had been in
+ training for it all your life. Your campaign Address is built from the
+ ground up upon the oldest and best models. There isn't a paragraph in it
+ whose facts or morals will wash&mdash;not even a sentence, I believe.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But you will soon be out of this. You didn't want to do it&mdash;that is
+ sufficiently apparent, thanks be!&mdash;but you couldn't well get out of
+ it. In a few days you will be out of it, and then you can fumigate
+ yourself and take up your legitimate work again and resume your clean and
+ wholesome private character once more and be happy&mdash;and useful.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I know I ought to hand you some guff, now, as propitiation and apology for
+ these reproaches, but on the whole I believe I won't.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I have inquired, and find that Mitsikuri does not arrive here until
+ to-morrow night. I shall watch out, and telephone again, for I greatly
+ want to see him.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Always Yours,
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ P. S.&mdash;Nov, 4. I wish I could learn to remember that it is unjust and
+ dishonorable to put blame upon the human race for any of its acts. For it
+ did not make itself, it did not make its nature, it is merely a machine,
+ it is moved wholly by outside influences, it has no hand in creating the
+ outside influences nor in choosing which of them it will welcome or
+ reject, its performance is wholly automatic, it has no more mastership nor
+ authority over its mind than it has over its stomach, which receives
+ material from the outside and does as it pleases with it, indifferent to
+ it's proprietor's suggestions, even, let alone his commands; wherefore,
+ whatever the machine does&mdash;so called crimes and infamies included&mdash;is
+ the personal act of its Maker, and He, solely, is responsible. I wish I
+ could learn to pity the human race instead of censuring it and laughing at
+ it; and I could, if the outside influences of old habit were not so strong
+ upon my machine. It vexes me to catch myself praising the clean private
+ citizen Roosevelt, and blaming the soiled President Roosevelt, when I know
+ that neither praise nor blame is due to him for any thought or word or
+ deed of his, he being merely a helpless and irresponsible coffee-mill
+ ground by the hand of God.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Through a misunderstanding, Clemens, something more than a year
+ earlier, had severed his connection with the Players' Club, of which
+ he had been one of the charter members. Now, upon his return to New
+ York, a number of his friends joined in an invitation to him to
+ return. It was not exactly a letter they sent, but a bit of an old
+ Scotch song&mdash;
+
+ &ldquo;To Mark Twain
+ from
+ The Clansmen.
+ Will ye no come back again,
+ Will ye no come back again?
+ Better lo'ed ye canna be.
+ Will ye no come back again?&rdquo;
+
+ Those who signed it were David Monroe, of the North American Review;
+ Robert Reid, the painter, and about thirty others of the Round Table
+ Group, so called because its members were accustomed to lunching at
+ a large round table in a bay window of the Player dining-room. Mark
+ Twain's reply was prompt and heartfelt. He wrote:
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Robt. Reid and the Others:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ WELL-BELOVED,&mdash;Surely those lovely verses went to Prince Charley's
+ heart, if he had one, and certainly they have gone to mine. I shall be
+ glad and proud to come back again after such a moving and beautiful
+ compliment as this from comrades whom I have loved so long. I hope you can
+ poll the necessary vote; I know you will try, at any rate. It will be many
+ months before I can foregather with you, for this black border is not
+ perfunctory, not a convention; it symbolizes the loss of one whose memory
+ is the only thing I worship.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It is not necessary for me to thank you&mdash;and words could not deliver
+ what I feel, anyway. I will put the contents of your envelope in the small
+ casket where I keep the things which have become sacred to me.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ S. L. C.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ A year later, Mark Twain did &ldquo;come back again,&rdquo; as an honorary life
+ member, and was given a dinner of welcome by those who had signed the
+ lines urging his return.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ XLIV. LETTERS OF 1905. TO TWICHELL, MR. DUNEKA AND OTHERS. POLITICS AND
+ HUMANITY. A SUMMER AT DUBLIN. MARK TWAIN AT 70.
+ </h2>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ In 1884 Mark Twain had abandoned the Republican Party to vote for
+ Cleveland. He believed the party had become corrupt, and to his
+ last day it was hard for him to see anything good in Republican
+ policies or performance. He was a personal friend of Theodore
+ Roosevelt's but, as we have seen in a former letter, Roosevelt the
+ politician rarely found favor in his eyes. With or without
+ justification, most of the President's political acts invited his
+ caustic sarcasm and unsparing condemnation. Another letter to
+ Twichell of this time affords a fair example.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Feb. 16, '05.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR JOE,&mdash;I knew I had in me somewhere a definite feeling about the
+ President if I could only find the words to define it with. Here they are,
+ to a hair&mdash;from Leonard Jerome: &ldquo;For twenty years I have loved
+ Roosevelt the man and hated Roosevelt the statesman and politician.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It's mighty good. Every time, in 25 years, that I have met Roosevelt the
+ man, a wave of welcome has streaked through me with the hand-grip; but
+ whenever (as a rule) I meet Roosevelt the statesman and politician, I find
+ him destitute of morals and not respectworthy. It is plain that where his
+ political self and his party self are concerned he has nothing resembling
+ a conscience; that under those inspirations he is naively indifferent to
+ the restraints of duty and even unaware of them; ready to kick the
+ Constitution into the back yard whenever it gets in the way; and whenever
+ he smells a vote, not only willing but eager to buy it, give extravagant
+ rates for it and pay the bill not out of his own pocket or the party's,
+ but out of the nation's, by cold pillage. As per Order 78 and the
+ appropriation of the Indian trust funds.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But Roosevelt is excusable&mdash;I recognize it and (ought to) concede it.
+ We are all insane, each in his own way, and with insanity goes
+ irresponsibility. Theodore the man is sane; in fairness we ought to keep
+ in mind that Theodore, as statesman and politician, is insane and
+ irresponsible.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Do not throw these enlightenments aside, but study them, let them raise
+ you to higher planes and make you better. You taught me in my callow days,
+ let me pay back the debt now in my old age out of a thesaurus with wisdom
+ smelted from the golden ores of experience.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Ever yours for sweetness and light
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ The next letter to Twichell takes up politics and humanity in
+ general, in a manner complimentary to neither. Mark Twain was never
+ really a pessimist, but he had pessimistic intervals, such as come
+ to most of us in life's later years, and at such times he let
+ himself go without stint concerning &ldquo;the damned human race,&rdquo; as he
+ called it, usually with a manifest sense of indignation that he
+ should be a member of it. In much of his later writing
+ &mdash;A Mysterious Stranger for example&mdash;he said his say with but small
+ restraint, and certainly in his purely intellectual moments he was
+ likely to be a pessimist of the most extreme type, capably damning
+ the race and the inventor of it. Yet, at heart, no man loved his
+ kind more genuinely, or with deeper compassion, than Mark Twain,
+ perhaps for its very weaknesses. It was only that he had intervals
+ &mdash;frequent intervals, and rather long ones&mdash;when he did not admire
+ it, and was still more doubtful as to the ways of providence.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ March 14, '05.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR JOE,&mdash;I have a Puddn'head maxim:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;When a man is a pessimist before 48 he knows too much; if he is an
+ optimist after it, he knows too little.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It is with contentment, therefore, that I reflect that I am better and
+ wiser than you. Joe, you seem to be dealing in &ldquo;bulks,&rdquo; now; the &ldquo;bulk&rdquo; of
+ the farmers and U. S. Senators are &ldquo;honest.&rdquo; As regards purchase and sale
+ with money? Who doubts it? Is that the only measure of honesty? Aren't
+ there a dozen kinds of honesty which can't be measured by the
+ money-standard? Treason is treason&mdash;and there's more than one form of
+ it; the money-form is but one of them. When a person is disloyal to any
+ confessed duty, he is plainly and simply dishonest, and knows it; knows
+ it, and is privately troubled about it and not proud of himself. Judged by
+ this standard&mdash;and who will challenge the validity of it?&mdash;there
+ isn't an honest man in Connecticut, nor in the Senate, nor anywhere else.
+ I do not even except myself, this time.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Am I finding fault with you and the rest of the populace? No&mdash;I
+ assure you I am not. For I know the human race's limitations, and this
+ makes it my duty&mdash;my pleasant duty&mdash;to be fair to it. Each
+ person in it is honest in one or several ways, but no member of it is
+ honest in all the ways required by&mdash;by what? By his own standard.
+ Outside of that, as I look at it, there is no obligation upon him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Am I honest? I give you my word of honor (private) I am not. For seven
+ years I have suppressed a book which my conscience tells me I ought to
+ publish. I hold it a duty to publish it. There are other difficult duties
+ which I am equal to, but I am not equal to that one. Yes, even I am
+ dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is. We are
+ certainly all honest in one or several ways&mdash;every man in the world&mdash;though
+ I have reason to think I am the only one whose black-list runs so light.
+ Sometimes I feel lonely enough in this lofty solitude.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Yes, oh, yes, I am not overlooking the &ldquo;steady progress from age to age of
+ the coming of the kingdom of God and righteousness.&rdquo; &ldquo;From age to age&rdquo;&mdash;yes,
+ it describes that giddy gait. I (and the rocks) will not live to see it
+ arrive, but that is all right&mdash;it will arrive, it surely will. But
+ you ought not to be always ironically apologizing for the Deity. If that
+ thing is going to arrive, it is inferable that He wants it to arrive; and
+ so it is not quite kind of you, and it hurts me, to see you flinging
+ sarcasms at the gait of it. And yet it would not be fair in me not to
+ admit that the sarcasms are deserved. When the Deity wants a thing, and
+ after working at it for &ldquo;ages and ages&rdquo; can't show even a shade of
+ progress toward its accomplishment, we&mdash;well, we don't laugh, but it
+ is only because we dasn't. The source of &ldquo;righteousness&rdquo;&mdash;is in the
+ heart? Yes. And engineered and directed by the brain? Yes. Well, history
+ and tradition testify that the heart is just about what it was in the
+ beginning; it has undergone no shade of change. Its good and evil impulses
+ and their consequences are the same today that they were in Old Bible
+ times, in Egyptian times, in Greek times, in Middle Age times, in
+ Twentieth Century times. There has been no change.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Meantime, the brain has undergone no change. It is what it always was.
+ There are a few good brains and a multitude of poor ones. It was so in Old
+ Bible times and in all other times&mdash;Greek, Roman, Middle Ages and
+ Twentieth Century. Among the savages&mdash;all the savages&mdash;the
+ average brain is as competent as the average brain here or elsewhere. I
+ will prove it to you, some time, if you like. And there are great brains
+ among them, too. I will prove that also, if you like.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Well, the 19th century made progress&mdash;the first progress after &ldquo;ages
+ and ages&rdquo;&mdash;colossal progress. In what? Materialities. Prodigious
+ acquisitions were made in things which add to the comfort of many and make
+ life harder for as many more. But the addition to righteousness? Is that
+ discoverable? I think not. The materialities were not invented in the
+ interest of righteousness; that there is more righteousness in the world
+ because of them than there, was before, is hardly demonstrable, I think.
+ In Europe and America, there is a vast change (due to them) in ideals&mdash;do
+ you admire it? All Europe and all America, are feverishly scrambling for
+ money. Money is the supreme ideal&mdash;all others take tenth place with
+ the great bulk of the nations named. Money-lust has always existed, but
+ not in the history of the world was it ever a craze, a madness, until your
+ time and mine. This lust has rotted these nations; it has made them hard,
+ sordid, ungentle, dishonest, oppressive.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Did England rise against the infamy of the Boer war? No&mdash;rose in
+ favor of it. Did America rise against the infamy of the Phillipine war? No&mdash;rose
+ in favor of it. Did Russia rise against the infamy of the present war? No&mdash;sat
+ still and said nothing. Has the Kingdom of God advanced in Russia since
+ the beginning of time?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Or in Europe and America, considering the vast backward step of the
+ money-lust? Or anywhere else? If there has been any progress toward
+ righteousness since the early days of Creation&mdash;which, in my
+ ineradicable honesty, I am obliged to doubt&mdash;I think we must confine
+ it to ten per cent of the populations of Christendom, (but leaving,
+ Russia, Spain and South America entirely out.) This gives us 320,000,000
+ to draw the ten per cent from. That is to say, 32,000,000 have advanced
+ toward righteousness and the Kingdom of God since the &ldquo;ages and ages&rdquo; have
+ been flying along, the Deity sitting up there admiring. Well, you see it
+ leaves 1,200,000,000 out of the race. They stand just where they have
+ always stood; there has been no change.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ N. B. No charge for these informations. Do come down soon, Joe.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ With love,
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ St. Clair McKelway, of The Brooklyn Eagle, narrowly escaped injuries
+ in a railway accident, and received the following. Clemens and
+ McKelway were old friends.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To St. Clair McKelway, in Brooklyn:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ 21 FIFTH AVE. Sunday Morning.
+ April 30, 1905.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR McKELWAY, Your innumerable friends are grateful, most grateful.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As I understand the telegrams, the engineer of your train had never seen a
+ locomotive before. Very well, then, I am once more glad that there is an
+ Ever-watchful Providence to foresee possible results and send Ogdens and
+ McIntyres along to save our friends.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The Government's Official report, showing that our railways killed twelve
+ hundred persons last year and injured sixty thousand convinces me that
+ under present conditions one Providence is not enough to properly and
+ efficiently take care of our railroad business. But it is
+ characteristically American&mdash;always trying to get along short-handed
+ and save wages.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I am helping your family congratulate themselves, and am your friend as
+ always.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Clemens did not spend any more summers at Quarry Farm. All its
+ associations were beautiful and tender, but they could only sadden
+ him. The life there had been as of another world, sunlit, idyllic,
+ now forever vanished. For the summer of 1905 he leased the Copley
+ Green house at Dublin, New Hampshire, where there was a Boston
+ colony of writing and artistic folk, including many of his long-time
+ friends. Among them was Colonel Thomas Wentworth Higginson, who
+ wrote a hearty letter of welcome when he heard the news. Clemens
+ replied in kind.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Col. Thomas Wentworth Higginson, in Boston:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ 21 FIFTH AVE. Sunday, March 26, 1905.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR COL. HIGGINSON,&mdash;I early learned that you would be my neighbor
+ in the Summer and I rejoiced, recognizing in you and your family a large
+ asset. I hope for frequent intercourse between the two households. I shall
+ have my youngest daughter with me. The other one will go from the
+ rest-cure in this city to the rest-cure in Norfolk Conn and we shall not
+ see her before autumn. We have not seen her since the middle of October.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Jean (the youngest daughter) went to Dublin and saw the house and came
+ back charmed with it. I know the Thayers of old&mdash;manifestly there is
+ no lack of attractions up there. Mrs. Thayer and I were shipmates in a
+ wild excursion perilously near 40 years ago.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ You say you &ldquo;send with this&rdquo; the story. Then it should be here but it
+ isn't, when I send a thing with another thing, the other thing goes but
+ the thing doesn't, I find it later&mdash;still on the premises. Will you
+ look it up now and send it?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Aldrich was here half an hour ago, like a breeze from over the fields,
+ with the fragrance still upon his spirit. I am tired of waiting for that
+ man to get old.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. C.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Mark Twain was in his seventieth year, old neither in mind nor body,
+ but willing to take life more quietly, to refrain from travel and
+ gay events. A sort of pioneers' reunion was to be held on the
+ Pacific Coast, and a letter from Robert Fulton, of Reno, Nevada,
+ invited Clemens to attend. He did not go, but he sent a letter that
+ we may believe was the next best thing to those who heard it read.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Robert Fulton, in Reno, Nevada:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ IN THE MOUNTAINS,
+ May 24, 1905.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MR. FULTON,&mdash;I remember, as if it were yesterday, that when I
+ disembarked from the overland stage in front of the Ormsby in Carson City
+ in August, 1861, I was not expecting to be asked to come again. I was
+ tired, discouraged, white with alkali dust, and did not know anybody; and
+ if you had said then, &ldquo;Cheer up, desolate stranger, don't be down-hearted&mdash;pass
+ on, and come again in 1905,&rdquo; you cannot think how grateful I would have
+ been and how gladly I would have closed the contract. Although I was not
+ expecting to be invited, I was watching out for it, and was hurt and
+ disappointed when you started to ask me and changed it to, &ldquo;How soon are
+ you going away?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But you have made it all right, now, the wound is closed. And so I thank
+ you sincerely for the invitation; and with you, all Reno, and if I were a
+ few years younger I would accept it, and promptly. I would go. I would let
+ somebody else do the oration, but, as for me, I would talk&mdash;just
+ talk. I would renew my youth; and talk&mdash;and talk&mdash;and talk&mdash;and
+ have the time of my life! I would march the unforgotten and unforgettable
+ antiques by, and name their names, and give them reverent Hailand-farewell
+ as they passed: Goodman, McCarthy, Gillis, Curry, Baldwin, Winters,
+ Howard, Nye, Stewart; Neely Johnson, Hal Clayton, North, Root,&mdash;and
+ my brother, upon whom be peace!&mdash;and then the desperadoes, who made
+ life a joy and the &ldquo;Slaughter-house&rdquo; a precious possession: Sam Brown,
+ Farmer Pete, Bill Mayfield, Six-fingered Jake, Jack Williams and the rest
+ of the crimson discipleship&mdash;and so on and so on. Believe me, I would
+ start a resurrection it would do you more good to look at than the next
+ one will, if you go on the way you are doing now.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Those were the days! those old ones. They will come no more. Youth will
+ come no more. They were so full to the brim with the wine of life; there
+ have been no others like them. It chokes me up to think of them. Would you
+ like me to come out there and cry? It would not beseem my white head.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Good-bye. I drink to you all. Have a good time&mdash;and take an old man's
+ blessing.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ MARK TWAIN.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ A few days later he was writing to H. H. Bancroft, of San Francisco,
+ who had invited him for a visit in event of his coming to the Coast.
+ Henry James had just been there for a week and it was hoped that
+ Howells would soon follow.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To H. H. Bancroft, in San Francisco:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ UP IN NEW HAMPSHIRE,
+ May 27, 1905.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MR. BANCROFT,&mdash;I thank you sincerely for the tempting
+ hospitalities which you offer me, but I have to deny myself, for my
+ wandering days are over, and it is my desire and purpose to sit by the
+ fire the rest of my remnant of life and indulge myself with the pleasure
+ and repose of work&mdash;work uninterrupted and unmarred by duties or
+ excursions.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A man who like me, is going to strike 70 on the 30th of next November has
+ no business to be flitting around the way Howells does&mdash;that
+ shameless old fictitious butter fly. (But if he comes, don't tell him I
+ said it, for it would hurt him and I wouldn't brush a flake of powder from
+ his wing for anything. I only say it in envy of his indestructible youth,
+ anyway. Howells will be 88 in October.) With thanks again,
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. C.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Clemens found that the air of the New Hampshire hills agreed with
+ him and stimulated him to work. He began an entirely new version of
+ The Mysterious Stranger, of which he already had a bulky and nearly
+ finished manuscript, written in Vienna. He wrote several hundred
+ pages of an extravaganza entitled, Three Thousand Years Among the
+ Microbes, and then, having got his superabundant vitality reduced
+ (it was likely to expend itself in these weird mental exploits),
+ he settled down one day and wrote that really tender and beautiful
+ idyl, Eve's Diary, which he had begun, or at least planned, the
+ previous summer at Tyringham. In a letter to Mr. Frederick A.
+ Duneka, general manager of Harper &amp; Brothers, he tells something of
+ the manner of the story; also his revised opinion of Adam's Diary,
+ written in '93, and originally published as a souvenir of Niagara
+ Falls.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Frederick A. Duneka, in New York:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ DUBLIN, July 16, '05.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MR. DUNEKA,&mdash;I wrote Eve's Diary, she using Adam's Diary as her
+ (unwitting and unconscious) text, of course, since to use any other text
+ would have been an imbecility&mdash;then I took Adam's Diary and read it.
+ It turned my stomach. It was not literature; yet it had been literature
+ once&mdash;before I sold it to be degraded to an advertisement of the
+ Buffalo Fair. I was going to write and ask you to melt the plates and put
+ it out of print.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But this morning I examined it without temper, and saw that if I abolished
+ the advertisement it would be literature again.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ So I have done it. I have struck out 700 words and inserted 5 MS pages of
+ new matter (650 words), and now Adam's Diary is dam good&mdash;sixty times
+ as good as it ever was before.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I believe it is as good as Eve's Diary now&mdash;no, it's not quite that
+ good, I guess, but it is good enough to go in the same cover with Eve's.
+ I'm sure of that.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I hate to have the old Adam go out any more&mdash;don't put it on the
+ presses again, let's put the new one in place of it; and next Xmas, let us
+ bind Adam and Eve in one cover. They score points against each other&mdash;so,
+ if not bound together, some of the points would not be perceived.....
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ P. S. Please send another Adam's Diary, so that I can make 2 revised
+ copies. Eve's Diary is Eve's love-Story, but we will not name it that.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Yrs ever,
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ The peace-making at Portsmouth between Japan and Russia was not
+ satisfactory to Mark Twain, who had fondly hoped there would be no
+ peace until, as he said, &ldquo;Russian liberty was safe. One more battle
+ would have abolished the waiting chains of millions upon millions of
+ unborn Russians and I wish it could have been fought.&rdquo; He set down
+ an expression of his feelings for the Associated Press, and it
+ invited many letters. Charles Francis Adams wrote, &ldquo;It attracted my
+ attention because it so exactly expresses the views I have myself
+ all along entertained.&rdquo;
+
+ Clemens was invited by Colonel George Harvey to dine with the
+ Russian emissaries, Baron Rosen and Sergius Witte. He declined, but
+ his telegram so pleased Witte that he asked permission to publish
+ it, and announced that he would show it to the Czar.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Telegram. To Col. George Harvey, in New York:
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ TO COLONEL HARVEY,&mdash;I am still a cripple, otherwise I should be more
+ than glad of this opportunity to meet the illustrious magicians who came
+ here equipped with nothing but a pen, and with it have divided the honors
+ of the war with the sword. It is fair to presume that in thirty centuries
+ history will not get done admiring these men who attempted what the world
+ regarded as impossible and achieved it.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Witte would not have cared to show the Czar the telegram in its
+ original form, which follows.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Telegram (unsent). To Col. George Harvey, in New York:
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ TO COLONEL HARVEY,&mdash;I am still a cripple, otherwise I should be more
+ than glad of this opportunity to meet those illustrious magicians who with
+ the pen have annulled, obliterated, and abolished every high achievement
+ of the Japanese sword and turned the tragedy of a tremendous war into a
+ gay and blithesome comedy. If I may, let me in all respect and honor
+ salute them as my fellow-humorists, I taking third place, as becomes one
+ who was not born to modesty, but by diligence and hard work is acquiring
+ it. MARK.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Nor still another unsent form, perhaps more characteristic than
+ either of the foregoing.
+
+ Telegram (unsent). To Col. George Harvey, in New York:
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR COLONEL,&mdash;No, this is a love-feast; when you call a lodge of
+ sorrow send for me.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Mrs. Crane, Quarry Farm:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ DUBLIN, Sept. 24, '05.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ Susy dear, I have had a lovely dream. Livy, dressed in black, was sitting
+ up in my bed (here) at my right and looking as young and sweet as she used
+ to do when she was in health. She said: &ldquo;what is the name of your sweet
+ sister?&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;Pamela.&rdquo; &ldquo;Oh, yes, that is it, I thought it was&mdash;&rdquo;
+ (naming a name which has escaped me) &ldquo;Won't you write it down for me?&rdquo; I
+ reached eagerly for a pen and pad&mdash;laid my hands upon both&mdash;then
+ said to myself, &ldquo;It is only a dream,&rdquo; and turned back sorrowfully and
+ there she was, still. The conviction flamed through me that our lamented
+ disaster was a dream, and this a reality. I said, &ldquo;How blessed it is, how
+ blessed it is, it was all a dream, only a dream!&rdquo; She only smiled and did
+ not ask what dream I meant, which surprised me. She leaned her head
+ against mine and I kept saying, &ldquo;I was perfectly sure it was a dream, I
+ never would have believed it wasn't.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I think she said several things, but if so they are gone from my memory. I
+ woke and did not know I had been dreaming. She was gone. I wondered how
+ she could go without my knowing it, but I did not spend any thought upon
+ that, I was too busy thinking of how vivid and real was the dream that we
+ had lost her and how unspeakably blessed it was to find that it was not
+ true and that she was still ours and with us.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ S. L. C.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ One day that summer Mark Twain received a letter from the actress,
+ Minnie Maddern Fiske, asking him to write something that would aid
+ her in her crusade against bull-fighting. The idea appealed to him;
+ he replied at once.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Mrs. Fiske:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MRS. FISKE,&mdash;I shall certainly write the story. But I may not
+ get it to suit me, in which case it will go in the fire. Later I will try
+ again&mdash;and yet again&mdash;and again. I am used to this. It has taken
+ me twelve years to write a short story&mdash;the shortest one I ever
+ wrote, I think.&mdash;[Probably &ldquo;The Death Disk.&rdquo;]&mdash;So do not be
+ discouraged; I will stick to this one in the same way. Sincerely yours,
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ He did not delay in his beginning, and a few weeks later was sending
+ word to his publisher about it.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Frederick A. Duneka, in New York:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Oct. 2, '05.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MR. DUNEKA,&mdash;I have just finished a short story which I &ldquo;greatly
+ admire,&rdquo; and so will you&mdash;&ldquo;A Horse's Tale&rdquo;&mdash;about 15,000 words,
+ at a rough guess. It has good fun in it, and several characters, and is
+ lively. I shall finish revising it in a few days or more, then Jean will
+ type it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Don't you think you can get it into the Jan. and Feb. numbers and issue it
+ as a dollar booklet just after the middle of Jan. when you issue the Feb.
+ number?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It ought to be ably illustrated.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Why not sell simultaneous rights, for this once, to the Ladies' Home
+ Journal or Collier's, or both, and recoup yourself?&mdash;for I would like
+ to get it to classes that can't afford Harper's. Although it doesn't
+ preach, there's a sermon concealed in it.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Yr sincerely,
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Five days later he added some rather interesting facts concerning
+ the new story.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To F. A. Duneka, in New York:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Oct. 7, 1906. ['05]
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MR. DUNEKA,&mdash;... I've made a poor guess as to number of words. I
+ think there must be 20,000. My usual page of MS. contains about 130 words;
+ but when I am deeply interested in my work and dead to everything else, my
+ hand-writing shrinks and shrinks until there's a great deal more than 130
+ on a page&mdash;oh, yes, a deal more. Well, I discover, this morning, that
+ this tale is written in that small hand.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This strong interest is natural, for the heroine is my daughter, Susy,
+ whom we lost. It was not intentional&mdash;it was a good while before I
+ found it out.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ So I am sending you her picture to use&mdash;and to reproduce with
+ photographic exactness the unsurpassable expression and all. May you find
+ an artist who has lost an idol!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Take as good care of the picture as you can and restore it to me when I
+ come.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I hope you will illustrate this tale considerably. Not humorous pictures.
+ No. When they are good (or bad) one's humor gets no chance to play
+ surprises on the reader. A humorous subject illustrated seriously is all
+ right, but a humorous artist is no fit person for such work. You see, the
+ humorous writer pretends to absolute seriousness (when he knows his trade)
+ then for an artist&mdash;to step in and give his calculated gravity all
+ away with a funny picture&mdash;oh, my land! It gives me the dry gripes
+ just to think of it. It would be just about up to the average comic
+ artist's intellectual level to make a funny picture of the horse kicking
+ the lungs out of a trader. Hang it, the remark is funny&mdash;because the
+ horse is not aware of it but the fact is not humorous, it is tragic and it
+ is no subject for a humorous picture.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Could I be allowed to sit in judgment upon the pictures before they are
+ accepted&mdash;at least those in which Cathy may figure?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This is not essential. It is but a suggestion, and it is hereby withdrawn,
+ if it would be troublesome or cause delay.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I hope you will reproduce the cat-pile, full page. And save the photo for
+ me in as good condition as possible. When Susy and Clara were little tots
+ those cats had their profoundest worship, and there is no duplicate of
+ this picture. These cats all had thundering names, or inappropriate ones&mdash;furnished
+ by the children with my help. One was named Buffalo Bill.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Are you interested in coincidences?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ After discovering, about the middle of the book, that Cathy was Susy
+ Clemens, I put her picture with my MS., to be reproduced. After the book
+ was finished it was discovered that Susy had a dim model of Soldier Boy in
+ her arms; I had forgotten all about that toy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Then I examined the cat-picture and laid it with the MS. for introduction;
+ but it was not until yesterday that I remembered that one of the cats was
+ named Buffalo Bill.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Sincerely yours,
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ The reference in this letter to shrinkage of his hand-writing with
+ the increasing intensity of his interest, and the consequent
+ addition of the number of words to the page, recalls another fact,
+ noted by Mr. Duneka, viz.: that because of his terse Anglo-Saxon
+ diction, Mark Twain could put more words on a magazine page than any
+ other writer. It is hardly necessary to add that he got more force
+ into what he put on the page for the same reason.
+
+ There was always a run of reporters at Mark Twain's New York home.
+ His opinion was sought for on every matter of public interest, and
+ whatever happened to him in particular was considered good for at
+ least half a column of copy, with his name as a catch-line at the
+ top. When it was learned that he was to spend the summer in New
+ Hampshire, the reporters had all wanted to find out about it. Now
+ that the summer was ending, they began to want to know how he had
+ liked it, what work he had done and what were his plans for another
+ year. As they frequently applied to his publishers for these
+ details it was finally suggested to him that he write a letter
+ furnishing the required information. His reply, handed to Mr.
+ Duneka, who was visiting him at the moment, is full of interest.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Mem. for Mr. Duneka:
+
+ DUBLIN, Oct. 9, 1905.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ ... As to the other matters, here are the details.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Yes, I have tried a number of summer homes, here and in Europe together.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Each of these homes had charms of its own; charms and delights of its own,
+ and some of them&mdash;even in Europe had comforts. Several of them had
+ conveniences, too. They all had a &ldquo;view.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It is my conviction that there should always be some water in a view&mdash;a
+ lake or a river, but not the ocean, if you are down on its level. I think
+ that when you are down on its level it seldom inflames you with an ecstasy
+ which you could not get out of a sand-flat. It is like being on board
+ ship, over again; indeed it is worse than that, for there's three months
+ of it. On board ship one tires of the aspects in a couple of days, and
+ quits looking. The same vast circle of heaving humps is spread around you
+ all the time, with you in the centre of it and never gaining an inch on
+ the horizon, so far as you can see; for variety, a flight of flying-fish,
+ mornings; a flock of porpoises throwing summersaults afternoons; a remote
+ whale spouting, Sundays; occasional phosphorescent effects, nights; every
+ other day a streak of black smoke trailing along under the horizon; on the
+ one single red letter day, the illustrious iceberg. I have seen that
+ iceberg thirty-four times in thirty-seven voyages; it is always the same
+ shape, it is always the same size, it always throws up the same old flash
+ when the sun strikes it; you may set it on any New York door-step of a
+ June morning and light it up with a mirror-flash; and I will engage to
+ recognize it. It is artificial, and it is provided and anchored out by the
+ steamer companies. I used to like the sea, but I was young then, and could
+ easily get excited over any kind of monotony, and keep it up till the
+ monotonies ran out, if it was a fortnight.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Last January, when we were beginning to inquire about a home for this
+ summer, I remembered that Abbott Thayer had said, three years before, that
+ the New Hampshire highlands was a good place. He was right&mdash;it was a
+ good place. Any place that is good for an artist in paint is good for an
+ artist in morals and ink. Brush is here, too; so is Col. T. W. Higginson;
+ so is Raphael Pumpelly; so is Mr. Secretary Hitchcock; so is Henderson; so
+ is Learned; so is Summer; so is Franklin MacVeigh; so is Joseph L. Smith;
+ so is Henry Copley Greene, when I am not occupying his house, which I am
+ doing this season. Paint, literature, science, statesmanship, history,
+ professorship, law, morals,&mdash;these are all represented here, yet
+ crime is substantially unknown.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The summer homes of these refugees are sprinkled, a mile apart, among the
+ forest-clad hills, with access to each other by firm smooth country roads
+ which are so embowered in dense foliage that it is always twilight in
+ there, and comfortable. The forests are spider-webbed with these good
+ roads, they go everywhere; but for the help of the guide-boards, the
+ stranger would not arrive anywhere.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The village&mdash;Dublin&mdash;is bunched together in its own place, but a
+ good telephone service makes its markets handy to all those outliars. I
+ have spelt it that way to be witty. The village executes orders on, the
+ Boston plan&mdash;promptness and courtesy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The summer homes are high-perched, as a rule, and have contenting
+ outlooks. The house we occupy has one. Monadnock, a soaring double hump,
+ rises into the sky at its left elbow&mdash;that is to say, it is close at
+ hand. From the base of the long slant of the mountain the valley spreads
+ away to the circling frame of the hills, and beyond the frame the billowy
+ sweep of remote great ranges rises to view and flows, fold upon fold, wave
+ upon wave, soft and blue and unwordly, to the horizon fifty miles away. In
+ these October days Monadnock and the valley and its framing hills make an
+ inspiring picture to look at, for they are sumptuously splashed and
+ mottled and be-torched from sky-line to sky-line with the richest dyes the
+ autumn can furnish; and when they lie flaming in the full drench of the
+ mid-afternoon sun, the sight affects the spectator physically, it stirs
+ his blood like military music.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ These summer homes are commodious, well built, and well furnished&mdash;facts
+ which sufficiently indicate that the owners built them to live in
+ themselves. They have furnaces and wood fireplaces, and the rest of the
+ comforts and conveniences of a city home, and can be comfortably occupied
+ all the year round.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We cannot have this house next season, but I have secured Mrs. Upton's
+ house which is over in the law and science quarter, two or three miles
+ from here, and about the same distance from the art, literary, and
+ scholastic groups. The science and law quarter has needed improving, this
+ good while.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The nearest railway-station is distant something like an hour's drive; it
+ is three hours from there to Boston, over a branch line. You can go to New
+ York in six hours per branch lines if you change cars every time you think
+ of it, but it is better to go to Boston and stop over and take the trunk
+ line next day, then you do not get lost.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It is claimed that the atmosphere of the New Hampshire highlands is
+ exceptionally bracing and stimulating, and a fine aid to hard and
+ continuous work. It is a just claim, I think. I came in May, and wrought
+ 35 successive days without a break. It is possible that I could not have
+ done it elsewhere. I do not know; I have not had any disposition to try
+ it, before. I think I got the disposition out of the atmosphere, this
+ time. I feel quite sure, in fact, that that is where it came from.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I am ashamed to confess what an intolerable pile of manuscript I ground
+ out in the 35 days, therefore I will keep the number of words to myself. I
+ wrote the first half of a long tale&mdash;&ldquo;The Adventures of a Microbe&rdquo;
+ and put it away for a finish next summer, and started another long tale&mdash;&ldquo;The
+ Mysterious Stranger;&rdquo; I wrote the first half of it and put it with the
+ other for a finish next summer. I stopped, then. I was not tired, but I
+ had no books on hand that needed finishing this year except one that was
+ seven years old. After a little I took that one up and finished it. Not
+ for publication, but to have it ready for revision next summer.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Since I stopped work I have had a two months' holiday. The summer has been
+ my working time for 35 years; to have a holiday in it (in America) is new
+ for me. I have not broken it, except to write &ldquo;Eve's Diary&rdquo; and &ldquo;A Horse's
+ Tale&rdquo;&mdash;short things occupying the mill 12 days.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This year our summer is 6 months long and ends with November and the
+ flight home to New York, but next year we hope and expect to stretch it
+ another month and end it the first of December.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ [No signature.]
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ The fact that he was a persistent smoker was widely known, and many
+ friends and admirers of Mark Twain sent him cigars, most of which he
+ could not use, because they were too good. He did not care for
+ Havana cigars, but smoked the fragrant, inexpensive domestic tobacco
+ with plenty of &ldquo;pep&rdquo; in it, as we say today. Now and then he had an
+ opportunity to head off some liberal friend, who wrote asking
+ permission to contribute to his cigar collection, as instance the
+ following.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Rev. L. M. Powers, in Haverhill, Mass.:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Nov. 9, 1905.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MR. POWERS,&mdash;I should accept your hospitable offer at once but
+ for the fact I couldn't do it and remain honest. That is to say if I
+ allowed you to send me what you believe to be good cigars it would
+ distinctly mean that I meant to smoke them, whereas I should do nothing of
+ the kind. I know a good cigar better than you do, for I have had 60 years
+ experience.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ No, that is not what I mean; I mean I know a bad cigar better than anybody
+ else; I judge by the price only; if it costs above 5 cents I know it to be
+ either foreign or half-foreign, and unsmokeable. By me I have many boxes
+ of Havana cigars, of all prices from 20 cts apiece up to 1.66 apiece; I
+ bought none of them, they were all presents, they are an accumulation of
+ several years. I have never smoked one of them and never shall, I work
+ them off on the visitor. You shall have a chance when you come.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Pessimists are born not made; optimists are born not made; but no man is
+ born either pessimist wholly or optimist wholly, perhaps; he is
+ pessimistic along certain lines and optimistic along certain others. That
+ is my case.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ In spite of all the fine photographs that were made of him, there
+ recurred constantly among those sent him to be autographed a print
+ of one which, years before, Sarony had made and placed on public
+ sale. It was a good photograph, mechanically and even artistically,
+ but it did not please Mark Twain. Whenever he saw it he recalled
+ Sarony with bitterness and severity. Once he received an inquiry
+ concerning it, and thus feelingly expressed himself.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Mr. Row (no address):
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ 21 FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK,
+ November 14, 1905.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MR. ROW,&mdash;That alleged portrait has a private history. Sarony
+ was as much of an enthusiast about wild animals as he was about
+ photography; and when Du Chaillu brought the first Gorilla to this country
+ in 1819 he came to me in a fever of excitement and asked me if my father
+ was of record and authentic. I said he was; then Sarony, without any
+ abatement of his excitement asked if my grandfather also was of record and
+ authentic. I said he was. Then Sarony, with still rising excitement and
+ with joy added to it, said he had found my great grandfather in the person
+ of the gorilla, and had recognized him at once by his resemblance to me. I
+ was deeply hurt but did not reveal this, because I knew Saxony meant no
+ offense for the gorilla had not done him any harm, and he was not a man
+ who would say an unkind thing about a gorilla wantonly. I went with him to
+ inspect the ancestor, and examined him from several points of view,
+ without being able to detect anything more than a passing resemblance.
+ &ldquo;Wait,&rdquo; said Sarony with confidence, &ldquo;let me show you.&rdquo; He borrowed my
+ overcoat&mdash;and put it on the gorilla. The result was surprising. I saw
+ that the gorilla while not looking distinctly like me was exactly what my
+ great grand father would have looked like if I had had one. Sarong
+ photographed the creature in that overcoat, and spread the picture about
+ the world. It has remained spread about the world ever since. It turns up
+ every week in some newspaper somewhere or other. It is not my favorite,
+ but to my exasperation it is everybody else's. Do you think you could get
+ it suppressed for me? I will pay the limit.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ The year 1905 closed triumphantly for Mark Twain. The great
+ &ldquo;Seventieth Birthday&rdquo; dinner planned by Colonel George Harvey is
+ remembered to-day as the most notable festival occasion in New York
+ literary history. Other dinners and ovations followed. At seventy
+ he had returned to the world, more beloved, more honored than ever
+ before.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ XLV. LETTERS, 1906, TO VARIOUS PERSONS. THE FAREWELL LECTURE. A SECOND
+ SUMMER IN DUBLIN. BILLIARDS AND COPYRIGHT.
+ </h2>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ MARK TWAIN at &ldquo;Pier Seventy,&rdquo; as he called it, paused to look
+ backward and to record some memoirs of his long, eventful past. The
+ Autobiography dictations begun in Florence were resumed, and daily
+ he traveled back, recalling long-ago scenes and all-but-forgotten
+ places. He was not without reminders. Now and again there came
+ some message that brought back the old days&mdash;the Tom Sawyer and Huck
+ Finn days&mdash;or the romance of the river that he never recalled other
+ than with tenderness and a tone of regret that it was gone. An
+ invitation to the golden wedding of two ancient friends moved and
+ saddened him, and his answer to it conveys about all the story of
+ life.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Mr. and Mrs. Gordon:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ 21 FIFTH AVENUE,
+ Jan. 24, '06.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR GORDONS,&mdash;I have just received your golden-wedding &ldquo;At Home&rdquo; and
+ am trying to adjust my focus to it and realize how much it means. It is
+ inconceivable! With a simple sweep it carries me back over a stretch of
+ time measurable only in astronomical terms and geological periods. It
+ brings before me Mrs. Gordon, young, round-limbed, handsome; and with her
+ the Youngbloods and their two babies, and Laura Wright, that unspoiled
+ little maid, that fresh flower of the woods and the prairies. Forty-eight
+ years ago!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Life was a fairy-tale, then, it is a tragedy now. When I was 43 and John
+ Hay 41 he said life was a tragedy after 40, and I disputed it. Three years
+ ago he asked me to testify again: I counted my graves, and there was
+ nothing for me to say.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I am old; I recognize it but I don't realize it. I wonder if a person ever
+ really ceases to feel young&mdash;I mean, for a whole day at a time. My
+ love to you both, and to all of us that are left.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Though he used very little liquor of any kind, it was Mark Twain's
+ custom to keep a bottle of Scotch whiskey with his collection of
+ pipes and cigars and tobacco on a little table by his bed-side.
+ During restless nights he found a small quantity of it conducive to
+ sleep. Andrew Carnegie, learning of this custom, made it his
+ business to supply Scotch of his own special importation. The first
+ case came, direct from Scotland. When it arrived Clemens sent this
+ characteristic acknowledgment.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Andrew Carnegie, in Scotland:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ 21 FIFTH AVE. Feb. 10, '06.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR ST. ANDREW,&mdash;The whisky arrived in due course from over the
+ water; last week one bottle of it was extracted from the wood and inserted
+ into me, on the instalment plan, with this result: that I believe it to be
+ the best, smoothest whisky now on the planet. Thanks, oh, thanks: I have
+ discarded Peruna.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Hoping that you three are well and happy and will be coming back before
+ the winter sets in.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ I am,
+ Sincerely yours,
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ It must have been a small bottle to be consumed by him in a week, or
+ perhaps he had able assistance. The next brief line refers to the
+ manuscript of his article, &ldquo;Saint Joan of Arc,&rdquo; presented to the
+ museum at Rouen.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Edward E. Clarke:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ 21 FIFTH AVE., Feb., 1906.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR SIR,&mdash;I have found the original manuscript and with great
+ pleasure I transmit it herewith, also a printed copy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It is a matter of great pride to me to have any word of mine concerning
+ the world's supremest heroine honored by a place in that Museum.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ The series of letters which follows was prepared by Mark Twain and
+ General Fred Grant, mainly with a view of advertising the lecture
+ that Clemens had agreed to deliver for the benefit of the Robert
+ Fulton Monument Association. It was, in fact, to be Mark Twain's
+ &ldquo;farewell lecture,&rdquo; and the association had really proposed to pay
+ him a thousand dollars for it. The exchange of these letters,
+ however, was never made outside of Mark Twain's bed-room. Propped
+ against the pillows, pen in hand, with General Grant beside him,
+ they arranged the series with the idea of publication. Later the
+ plan was discarded, so that this pleasant foolery appears here for
+ the first, time.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL
+
+ (Correspondence)
+
+ Telegram
+
+ Army Headquarters (date)
+MARK TWAIN, New York,&mdash;Would you consider a proposal to talk at Carnegie Hall for the benefit of the Robert Fulton Monument Association, of which you
+are a Vice President, for a fee of a thousand dollars?
+
+ F. D. GRANT,
+ President,
+ Fulton Monument Association.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Telegraphic Answer:
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ MAJOR-GENERAL F. D. GRANT, Army Headquarters,&mdash;I shall be glad to do
+ it, but I must stipulate that you keep the thousand dollars and add it to
+ the Monument fund as my contribution.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ Letters:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MR. CLEMENS,&mdash;You have the thanks of the Association, and the
+ terms shall be as you say. But why give all of it? Why not reserve a
+ portion&mdash;why should you do this work wholly without compensation?
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Truly yours
+ FRED. D. GRANT.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ MAJOR GENERAL GRANT, Army Headquarters.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DEAR GENERAL,&mdash;Because I stopped talking for pay a good many years
+ ago, and I could not resume the habit now without a great deal of personal
+ discomfort. I love to hear myself talk, because I get so much instruction
+ and moral upheaval out of it, but I lose the bulk of this joy when I
+ charge for it. Let the terms stand.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ General, if I have your approval, I wish to use this good occasion to
+ retire permanently from the platform.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Truly yours
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MR. CLEMENS,&mdash;Certainly. But as an old friend, permit me to say,
+ Don't do that. Why should you?&mdash;you are not old yet.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Yours truly,
+ FRED D. GRANT.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR GENERAL,&mdash;I mean the pay-platform; I shan't retire from the
+ gratis-platform until after I am dead and courtesy requires me to keep
+ still and not disturb the others.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ What shall I talk about? My idea is this: to instruct the audience about
+ Robert Fulton, and.... Tell me&mdash;was that his real name, or was it his
+ nom de plume? However, never mind, it is not important&mdash;I can skip
+ it, and the house will think I knew all about it, but forgot. Could you
+ find out for me if he was one of the Signers of the Declaration, and which
+ one? But if it is any trouble, let it alone, I can skip it. Was he out
+ with Paul Jones? Will you ask Horace Porter? And ask him if he brought
+ both of them home. These will be very interesting facts, if they can be
+ established. But never mind, don't trouble Porter, I can establish them
+ anyway. The way I look at it, they are historical gems&mdash;gems of the
+ very first water.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Well, that is my idea, as I have said: first, excite the audience with a
+ spoonful of information about Fulton, then quiet down with a barrel of
+ illustration drawn by memory from my books&mdash;and if you don't say
+ anything the house will think they never heard of it before, because
+ people don't really read your books, they only say they do, to keep you
+ from feeling bad. Next, excite the house with another spoonful of
+ Fultonian fact, then tranquilize them again with another barrel of
+ illustration. And so on and so on, all through the evening; and if you are
+ discreet and don't tell them the illustrations don't illustrate anything,
+ they won't notice it and I will send them home as well-informed about
+ Robert Fulton as I am myself. Don't be afraid; I know all about audiences,
+ they believe everything you say, except when you are telling the truth.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Truly yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ P.S. Mark all the advertisements &ldquo;Private and Confidential,&rdquo; otherwise the
+ people will not read them.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ M. T.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MR. CLEMENS,&mdash;How long shall you talk? I ask in order that we
+ may be able to say when carriages may be called.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Very Truly yours,
+ HUGH GORDON MILLER,
+ Secretary.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MR. MILLER,&mdash;I cannot say for sure. It is my custom to keep on
+ talking till I get the audience cowed. Sometimes it takes an hour and
+ fifteen minutes, sometimes I can do it in an hour.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ Mem. My charge is 2 boxes free. Not the choicest&mdash;sell the choicest,
+ and give me any 6-seat boxes you please.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ S. L. C.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ I want Fred Grant (in uniform) on the stage; also the rest of the
+ officials of the Association; also other distinguished people&mdash;all
+ the attractions we can get. Also, a seat for Mr. Albert Bigelow Paine, who
+ may be useful to me if he is near me and on the front.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ S. L. C.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ The seat chosen for the writer of these notes was to be at the front
+ of the stage in order that the lecturer might lean over now and then
+ and pretend to be asking information concerning Fulton. I was not
+ entirely happy in the thought of this showy honor, and breathed more
+ freely when this plan was abandoned and the part assigned to General
+ Grant.
+
+ The lecture was given in Carnegie Hall, which had been gayly
+ decorated for the occasion. The house was more than filled, and a
+ great sum of money was realized for the fund.
+
+ It was that spring that Gorky and Tchaikowski, the Russian
+ revolutionists, came to America hoping to arouse interest in their
+ cause. The idea of the overthrow of the Russian dynasty was
+ pleasant to Mark Twain. Few things would have given him greater
+ comfort than to have known that a little more than ten years would
+ see the downfall of Russian imperialism. The letter which follows
+ was a reply to an invitation from Tchaikowski, urging him to speak
+ at one of the meetings.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MR. TCHAIKOWSKI,&mdash;I thank you for the honor of the invitation,
+ but I am not able to accept it, because on Thursday evening I shall be
+ presiding at a meeting whose object is to find remunerative work for
+ certain classes of our blind who would gladly support themselves if they
+ had the opportunity.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ My sympathies are with the Russian revolution, of course. It goes without
+ saying. I hope it will succeed, and now that I have talked with you I take
+ heart to believe it will. Government by falsified promises; by lies, by
+ treacheries, and by the butcher-knife for the aggrandizement of a single
+ family of drones and its idle and vicious kin has been borne quite long
+ enough in Russia, I should think, and it is to be hoped that the roused
+ nation, now rising in its strength, will presently put an end to it and
+ set up the republic in its place. Some of us, even of the white headed,
+ may live to see the blessed day when Czars and Grand Dukes will be as
+ scarce there as I trust they are in heaven.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Most sincerely yours,
+ MARK TWAIN.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ There came another summer at Dublin, New Hampshire, this time in the
+ fine Upton residence on the other slope of Monadnock, a place of
+ equally beautiful surroundings, and an even more extended view.
+ Clemens was at this time working steadily on his so-called
+ Autobiography, which was not that, in fact, but a series of
+ remarkable chapters, reminiscent, reflective, commentative, written
+ without any particular sequence as to time or subject-matter. He
+ dictated these chapters to a stenographer, usually in the open air,
+ sitting in a comfortable rocker or pacing up and down the long
+ veranda that faced a vast expanse of wooded slope and lake and
+ distant blue mountains. It became one of the happiest occupations
+ of his later years.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To W. D. Howells, in Maine:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ DUBLIN, Sunday, June 17, '06.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR HOWELLS,&mdash;..... The dictating goes lazily and pleasantly on.
+ With intervals. I find that I have been at it, off and on, nearly two
+ hours a day for 155 days, since Jan. 9. To be exact I've dictated 75 hours
+ in 80 days and loafed 75 days. I've added 60,000 words in the month that
+ I've been here; which indicates that I've dictated during 20 days of that
+ time&mdash;40 hours, at an average of 1,500 words an hour. It's a plenty,
+ and I am satisfied.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ There's a good deal of &ldquo;fat&rdquo; I've dictated, (from Jan. 9) 210,000 words,
+ and the &ldquo;fat&rdquo; adds about 50,000 more.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The &ldquo;fat&rdquo; is old pigeon-holed things, of the years gone by, which I or
+ editors didn't das't to print. For instance, I am dumping in the little
+ old book which I read to you in Hartford about 30 years ago and which you
+ said &ldquo;publish&mdash;and ask Dean Stanley to furnish an introduction; he'll
+ do it.&rdquo; (&ldquo;Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven.&rdquo;) It reads quite to suit
+ me, without altering a word, now that it isn't to see print until I am
+ dead.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To-morrow I mean to dictate a chapter which will get my heirs and assigns
+ burnt alive if they venture to print it this side of 2006 A.D.&mdash;which
+ I judge they won't. There'll be lots of such chapters if I live 3 or 4
+ years longer. The edition of A.D. 2006 will make a stir when it comes out.
+ I shall be hovering around taking notice, along with other dead pals. You
+ are invited.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ MARK.
+
+ His tendency to estimate the measure of the work he was doing, and
+ had completed, must have clung to him from his old printer days.
+
+ The chapter which was to get his heirs and assigns burned alive was
+ on the orthodox God, and there was more than one such chapter. In
+ the next letter he refers to two exquisite poems by Howells, and the
+ writer of these notes recalls his wonderful reading of them aloud.
+ 'In Our Town' was a collection of short stories then recently issued
+ by William Allen White. Howells had recommended them.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To W. D. Howells, in Maine:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ 21 FIFTH AVE., Tuesday Eve.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR HOWELLS,&mdash;It is lovely of you to say those beautiful things&mdash;I
+ don't know how to thank you enough. But I love you, that I know.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I read &ldquo;After the Wedding&rdquo; aloud and we felt all the pain of it and the
+ truth. It was very moving and very beautiful&mdash;would have been
+ over-comingly moving, at times, but for the haltings and pauses compelled
+ by the difficulties of MS&mdash;these were a protection, in that they
+ furnished me time to brace up my voice, and get a new start. Jean wanted
+ to keep the MS for another reading-aloud, and for &ldquo;keeps,&rdquo; too, I
+ suspected, but I said it would be safest to write you about it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I like &ldquo;In Our Town,&rdquo; particularly that Colonel, of the Lookout Mountain
+ Oration, and very particularly pages 212-16. I wrote and told White so.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ After &ldquo;After the Wedding&rdquo; I read &ldquo;The Mother&rdquo; aloud and sounded its human
+ deeps with your deep-sea lead. I had not read it before, since it was
+ first published.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I have been dictating some fearful things, for 4 successive mornings&mdash;for
+ no eye but yours to see until I have been dead a century&mdash;if then.
+ But I got them out of my system, where they had been festering for years&mdash;and
+ that was the main thing. I feel better, now.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I came down today on business&mdash;from house to house in 12 1/2 hours,
+ and expected to arrive dead, but am neither tired nor sleepy.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Yours as always
+ MARK.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To William Allen White, in Emporia, Kans.:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ DUBLIN, NEW HAMPSHIRE,
+ June 24, 1906.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MR. WHITE,&mdash;Howells told me that &ldquo;In Our Town&rdquo; was a charming
+ book, and indeed it is. All of it is delightful when read one's self,
+ parts of it can score finely when subjected to the most exacting of tests&mdash;the
+ reading aloud. Pages 197 and 216 are of that grade. I have tried them a
+ couple of times on the family, and pages 212 and 216 are qualified to
+ fetch any house of any country, caste or color, endowed with those riches
+ which are denied to no nation on the planet&mdash;humor and feeling.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Talk again&mdash;the country is listening.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Witter Bynner, the poet, was one of the editors of McClure's
+ Magazine at this time, but was trying to muster the courage to give
+ up routine work for verse-making and the possibility of poverty.
+ Clemens was fond of Bynner and believed in his work. He did not
+ advise him, however, to break away entirely from a salaried
+ position&mdash;at least not immediately; but one day Bynner did so, and
+ reported the step he had taken, with some doubt as to the answer he
+ would receive.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Witter Bynner, in New York:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ DUBLIN, Oct. 5, 1906.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR POET,&mdash;You have certainly done right for several good reasons;
+ at least, of them, I can name two:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 1. With your reputation you can have your freedom and yet earn your
+ living. 2. if you fall short of succeeding to your wish, your reputation
+ will provide you another job. And so in high approval I suppress the
+ scolding and give you the saintly and fatherly pat instead.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ MARK TWAIN.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ On another occasion, when Bynner had written a poem to Clara
+ Clemens, her father pretended great indignation that the first poem
+ written by Bynner to any one in his household should not be to him,
+ and threatened revenge. At dinner shortly after he produced from
+ his pocket a slip of paper on which he had set down what he said was
+ &ldquo;his only poem.&rdquo; He read the lines that follow:
+
+ &ldquo;Of all sad words of tongue or pen,
+ The saddest are these: It might have been.
+ Ah, say not so! as life grows longer, leaner, thinner,
+ We recognize, O God, it might have Bynner!&rdquo;
+
+ He returned to New York in October and soon after was presented by
+ Mrs. H. H. Rogers with a handsome billiard-table.
+
+ He had a passion for the game, but had played comparatively little
+ since the old Hartford days of fifteen years before, when a group of
+ his friends used to assemble on Friday nights in the room at the top
+ of the house for long, strenuous games and much hilarity. Now the
+ old fever all came back; the fascinations of the game superseded
+ even his interest in the daily dictations.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Mrs. H. H. Rogers, in New York:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ 21 FIFTH AVENUE, Monday, Nov., 1906.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR MRS. ROGERS,&mdash;The billiard table is better than the doctors. It
+ is driving out the heartburn in a most promising way. I have a billiardist
+ on the premises, and I walk not less than ten miles every day with the cue
+ in my hand. And the walking is not the whole of the exercise, nor the most
+ health-giving part of it, I think. Through the multitude of the positions
+ and attitudes it brings into play every muscle in the body and exercises
+ them all.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The games begin right after luncheon, daily, and continue until midnight,
+ with 2 hours' intermission for dinner and music. And so it is 9 hours'
+ exercise per day, and 10 or 12 on Sunday. Yesterday and last night it was
+ 12&mdash;and I slept until 8 this morning without waking. The billiard
+ table, as a Sabbath breaker can beat any coal-breaker in Pennsylvania, and
+ give it 30 in, the game. If Mr. Rogers will take to daily billiards he can
+ do without doctors and the massageur, I think.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We are really going to build a house on my farm, an hour and a half from
+ New York. It is decided. It is to be built by contract, and is to come
+ within $25,000.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ With love and many thanks.
+ S. L. C.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ P.S. Clara is in the sanitarium&mdash;till January 28 when her western
+ concert tour will begin. She is getting to be a mighty competent singer.
+ You must know Clara better; she is one of the very finest and completest
+ and most satisfactory characters I have ever met. Others knew it before,
+ but I have always been busy with other matters.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ The &ldquo;billiardist on the premises&rdquo; was the writer of these notes,
+ who, earlier in the year, had become his biographer, and, in the
+ course of time, his daily companion and friend. The farm mentioned
+ was one which he had bought at Redding, Connecticut, where, later,
+ he built the house known as &ldquo;Stormfield.&rdquo;
+
+ Henry Mills Alden, for nearly forty years editor of Harper's
+ Magazine, arrived at his seventieth birthday on November 11th that
+ year, and Harper &amp; Brothers had arranged to give him a great dinner
+ in the offices of Franklin Square, where, for half a century, he had
+ been an active force. Mark Twain, threatened with a cold, and
+ knowing the dinner would be strenuous, did not feel able to attend,
+ so wrote a letter which, if found suitable, could be read at the
+ gathering.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Mr. Henry Alden:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ALDEN,&mdash;dear and ancient friend&mdash;it is a solemn moment. You have
+ now reached the age of discretion. You have been a long time arriving.
+ Many years ago you docked me on an article because the subject was too
+ old; later, you docked me on an article because the subject was too new;
+ later still, you docked me on an article because the subject was betwixt
+ and between. Once, when I wrote a Letter to Queen Victoria, you did not
+ put it in the respectable part of the Magazine, but interred it in that
+ potter's field, the Editor's Drawer. As a result, she never answered it.
+ How often we recall, with regret, that Napoleon once shot at a magazine
+ editor and missed him and killed a publisher. But we remember, with
+ charity, that his intentions were good.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ You will reform, now, Alden. You will cease from these economies, and you
+ will be discharged. But in your retirement you will carry with you the
+ admiration and earnest good wishes of the oppressed and toiling scribes.
+ This will be better than bread. Let this console you when the bread fails.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ You will carry with you another thing, too&mdash;the affection of the
+ scribes; for they all love you in spite of your crimes. For you bear a
+ kind heart in your breast, and the sweet and winning spirit that charms
+ away all hostilities and animosities, and makes of your enemy your friend
+ and keeps him so. You have reigned over us thirty-six years, and, please
+ God, you shall reign another thirty-six&mdash;&ldquo;and peace to Mahmoud on his
+ golden throne!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Always yours
+ MARK
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ A copyright bill was coming up in Washington and a delegation of
+ authors went down to work for it. Clemens was not the head of the
+ delegation, but he was the most prominent member of it, as well as
+ the most useful. He invited the writer to accompany him, and
+ elsewhere I have told in detail the story of that excursion,&mdash;[See
+ Mark Twain; A Biography, chap. ccli,]&mdash;which need be but briefly
+ touched upon here.
+
+ His work was mainly done aside from that of the delegation. They
+ had him scheduled for a speech, however, which he made without notes
+ and with scarcely any preparation. Meantime he had applied to
+ Speaker Cannon for permission to allow him on the floor of the
+ House, where he could buttonhole the Congressmen. He was not
+ eligible to the floor without having received the thanks of
+ Congress, hence the following letter:
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Hon. Joseph Cannon, House of Representatives:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Dec. 7, 1906.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR UNCLE JOSEPH,&mdash;Please get me the thanks of the Congress&mdash;not
+ next week but right away. It is very necessary. Do accomplish this for
+ your affectionate old friend right away; by persuasion, if you can, by
+ violence if you must, for it is imperatively necessary that I get on the
+ floor for two or three hours and talk to the members, man by man, in
+ behalf of the support, encouragement and protection of one of the nation's
+ most valuable assets and industries&mdash;its literature. I have arguments
+ with me, also a barrel, with liquid in it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Give me a chance. Get me the thanks of Congress. Don't wait for others;
+ there isn't time. I have stayed away and let Congress alone for
+ seventy-one years and I am entitled to thanks. Congress knows it perfectly
+ well and I have long felt hurt that this quite proper and earned
+ expression of gratitude has been merely felt by the House and never
+ publicly uttered. Send me an order on the Sergeant-at-Arms quick. When
+ shall I come? With love and a benediction.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ MARK TWAIN.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ This was mainly a joke. Mark Twain did not expect any &ldquo;thanks,&rdquo; but
+ he did hope for access to the floor, which once, in an earlier day,
+ had been accorded him. We drove to the Capitol and he delivered his
+ letter to &ldquo;Uncle Joe&rdquo; by hand. &ldquo;Uncle Joe&rdquo; could not give him the
+ privilege of the floor; the rules had become more stringent. He
+ declared they would hang him if he did such a thing. He added that
+ he had a private room down-stairs, where Mark Twain might establish
+ headquarters, and that he would assign his colored servant, Neal, of
+ long acquaintanceship with many of the members, to pass the word
+ that Mark Twain was receiving.
+
+ The result was a great success. All that afternoon members of
+ Congress poured into the Speaker's room and, in an atmosphere blue
+ with tobacco smoke, Mark Twain talked the gospel of copyright to his
+ heart's content.
+
+ The bill did not come up for passage that session, but Mark Twain
+ lived to see his afternoon's lobbying bring a return. In 1909,
+ Champ Clark, and those others who had gathered around him that
+ afternoon, passed a measure that added fourteen years to the
+ copyright term.
+
+ The next letter refers to a proposed lobby of quite a different
+ sort.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Helen Keller, in Wrentham, Mass.:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ 21 FIFTH AVENUE,
+ Dec. 23, '06.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ DEAR HELEN KELLER,&mdash;... You say, &ldquo;As a reformer, you know that ideas
+ must be driven home again and again.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Yes, I know it; and by old experience I know that speeches and documents
+ and public meetings are a pretty poor and lame way of accomplishing it.
+ Last year I proposed a sane way&mdash;one which I had practiced with
+ success for a quarter of a century&mdash;but I wasn't expecting it to get
+ any attention, and it didn't.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Give me a battalion of 200 winsome young girls and matrons, and let me
+ tell them what to do and how to do it, and I will be responsible for
+ shining results. If I could mass them on the stage in front of the
+ audience and instruct them there, I could make a public meeting take hold
+ of itself and do something really valuable for once. Not that the real
+ instruction would be done there, for it wouldn't; it would be previously
+ done privately, and merely repeated there.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But it isn't going to happen&mdash;the good old way will be stuck to:
+ there'll be a public meeting: with music, and prayer, and a wearying
+ report, and a verbal description of the marvels the blind can do, and 17
+ speeches&mdash;then the call upon all present who are still alive, to
+ contribute. This hoary program was invented in the idiot asylum, and will
+ never be changed. Its function is to breed hostility to good causes.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Some day somebody will recruit my 200&mdash;my dear beguilesome Knights of
+ the Golden Fleece&mdash;and you will see them make good their ominous
+ name.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mind, we must meet! not in the grim and ghastly air of the platform,
+ mayhap, but by the friendly fire&mdash;here at 21.
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Affectionately your friend,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ They did meet somewhat later that winter in the friendly parlors of
+ No. 21, and friends gathered in to meet the marvelous blind girl and
+ to pay tribute to Miss Sullivan (Mrs. Macy) for her almost
+ incredible achievement.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Letters Of Mark Twain, Volume 5,
+1901-1906, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TWAIN LETTERS, VOL. 5 ***
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+
+
+Letters Vol. 5
+
+by Mark Twain
+
+
+
+
+VOLUME V.
+MARK TWAIN'S LETTERS 1901-1906
+
+
+XL
+
+LETTERS OF 1901, CHIEFLY TO TWICHELL. MARK TWAIN AS A REFORMER.
+SUMMER AT SARANAC. ASSASSINATION OF PRESIDENT McKINLEY
+
+ An editorial in the Louisville Courier-Journal, early in 1901, said:
+ "A remarkable transformation, or rather a development, has taken
+ place in Mark Twain. The genial humorist of the earlier day is now
+ a reformer of the vigorous kind, a sort of knight errant who does
+ not hesitate to break a lance with either Church or State if he
+ thinks them interposing on that broad highway over which he believes
+ not a part but the whole of mankind has the privilege of passing in
+ the onward march of the ages."
+
+ Mark Twain had begun "breaking the lance" very soon after his return
+ from Europe. He did not believe that he could reform the world, but
+ at least he need not withhold his protest against those things which
+ stirred his wrath. He began by causing the arrest of a cabman who
+ had not only overcharged but insulted him; he continued by writing
+ openly against the American policy in the Philippines, the
+ missionary propaganda which had resulted in the Chinese uprising and
+ massacre, and against Tammany politics. Not all of his efforts were
+ in the line of reform; he had become a sort of general spokesman
+ which the public flocked to hear, whatever the subject. On the
+ occasion of a Lincoln Birthday service at Carnegie Hall he was
+ chosen to preside, and he was obliged to attend more dinners than
+ were good for his health. His letters of this period were mainly
+ written to his old friend Twichell, in Hartford. Howells, who lived
+ in New York, he saw with considerable frequency.
+
+ In the letter which follows the medicine which Twichell was to take
+ was Plasmon, an English proprietary remedy in which Mark Twain had
+ invested--a panacea for all human ills which osteopathy could not
+ reach.
+
+
+ To Rev. Joseph Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ 14 W. 10TH ST. Jan. 23, '01.
+DEAR JOE,--Certainly. I used to take it in my coffee, but it settled to
+the bottom in the form of mud, and I had to eat it with a spoon; so I
+dropped the custom and took my 2 teaspoonfuls in cold milk after
+breakfast. If we were out of milk I shoveled the dry powder into my
+mouth and washed it down with water. The only essential is to get it
+down, the method is not important.
+
+No, blame it, I can't go to the Alumni dinner, Joe. It takes two days,
+and I can't spare the time. Moreover I preside at the Lincoln birthday
+celebration in Carnegie Hall Feb. 11 and I must not make two speeches so
+close together. Think of it--two old rebels functioning there--I as
+President, and Watterson as Orator of the Day! Things have changed
+somewhat in these 40 years, thank God.
+
+Look here--when you come down you must be our guest--we've got a roomy
+room for you, and Livy will make trouble if you go elsewhere. Come
+straight to 14 West 10th.
+
+Jan. 24. Livy says Amen to that; also, can you give us a day or two's
+notice, so the room will be sure to be vacant?
+
+I'm going to stick close to my desk for a month, now, hoping to write a
+small book.
+ Ys Ever
+ MARK
+
+
+ The letter which follows is a fair sample of Mark Twain's private
+ violence on a subject which, in public print, he could only treat
+ effectively by preserving his good humor. When he found it
+ necessary to boil over, as he did, now and then, for relief, he
+ always found a willing audience in Twichell. The mention of his
+ "Private Philosophy" refers to 'What Is Man?', privately published
+ in 1906; reissued by his publishers in 1916.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ 14 W. 10th Jan. 29, '01.
+DEAR JOE,--I'm not expecting anything but kicks for scoffing, and am
+expecting a diminution of my bread and butter by it, but if Livy will let
+me I will have my say. This nation is like all the others that have been
+spewed upon the earth--ready to shout for any cause that will tickle its
+vanity or fill its pocket. What a hell of a heaven it will be, when they
+get all these hypocrites assembled there!
+
+I can't understand it! You are a public guide and teacher, Joe, and are
+under a heavy responsibility to men, young and old; if you teach your
+people--as you teach me--to hide their opinions when they believe the
+flag is being abused and dishonored, lest the utterance do them and a
+publisher a damage, how do you answer for it to your conscience? You are
+sorry for me; in the fair way of give and take, I am willing to be a
+little sorry for you.
+
+However, I seem to be going counter to my own Private Philosophy--which
+Livy won't allow me to publish--because it would destroy me. But I hope
+to see it in print before I die. I planned it 15 years ago, and wrote it
+in '98. I've often tried to read it to Livy, but she won't have it; it
+makes her melancholy. The truth always has that effect on people. Would
+have, anyway, if they ever got hold of a rag of it--Which they don't.
+
+You are supposing that I am supposing that I am moved by a Large
+Patriotism, and that I am distressed because our President has blundered
+up to his neck in the Philippine mess; and that I am grieved because this
+great big ignorant nation, which doesn't know even the A B C facts of the
+Philippine episode, is in disgrace before the sarcastic world--drop that
+idea! I care nothing for the rest--I am only distressed and troubled
+because I am befouled by these things. That is all. When I search
+myself away down deep, I find this out. Whatever a man feels or thinks
+or does, there is never any but one reason for it--and that is a selfish
+one.
+
+At great inconvenience, and expense of precious time I went to the chief
+synagogue the other night and talked in the interest of a charity school
+of poor Jew girls. I know--to the finest, shades--the selfish ends that
+moved me; but no one else suspects. I could give you the details if I
+had time. You would perceive how true they are.
+
+I've written another article; you better hurry down and help Livy squelch
+it.
+
+She's out pottering around somewhere, poor housekeeping slave; and Clara
+is in the hands of the osteopath, getting the bronchitis pulled and
+hauled out of her. It was a bad attack, and a little disquieting. It
+came day before yesterday, and she hasn't sat up till this afternoon.
+She is getting along satisfactorily, now.
+ Lots of love to you all.
+ MARK
+
+
+ Mark Twain's religion had to do chiefly with humanity in its present
+ incarnation, and concerned itself very little with any possible
+ measure of reward or punishment in some supposed court of the
+ hereafter. Nevertheless, psychic investigation always interested
+ him, and he was good-naturedly willing to explore, even hoping,
+ perhaps, to be convinced that individuality continues beyond death.
+ The letter which follows indicates his customary attitude in
+ relation to spiritualistic research. The experiments here
+ mentioned, however, were not satisfactory.
+
+
+ To Mrs. Charles McQuiston:
+
+ DOBBS FERRY, N. Y.
+ March 26, 1901.
+DEAR MRS. McQUISTON,--I have never had an experience which moved me to
+believe the living can communicate with the dead, but my wife and I have
+experimented in the matter when opportunity offered and shall continue to
+do so.
+
+I enclose a letter which came this morning--the second from the same
+source. Mrs. K---- is a Missourian, and lately she discovered, by
+accident, that she was a remarkable hypnotiser. Her best subject is a
+Missouri girl, Miss White, who is to come here soon and sustain strictly
+scientific tests before professors at Columbia University. Mrs. Clemens
+and I intend to be present. And we shall ask the pair to come to our
+house to do whatever things they can do. Meantime, if you thought well
+of it, you might write her and arrange a meeting, telling her it is by my
+suggestion and that I gave you her address.
+
+Someone has told me that Mrs. Piper is discredited. I cannot be sure,
+but I think it was Mr. Myers, President of the London Psychical Research
+Society--we heard of his death yesterday. He was a spiritualist. I am
+afraid he was a very easily convinced man. We visited two mediums whom
+he and Andrew Lang considered quite wonderful, but they were quite
+transparent frauds.
+
+Mrs. Clemens corrects me: One of those women was a fraud, the other not a
+fraud, but only an innocent, well-meaning, driveling vacancy.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ In Mark Twain's Bermuda chapters entitled Idle Notes of an Idle
+ Excursion he tells of an old sea captain, one Hurricane Jones, who
+ explained biblical miracles in a practical, even if somewhat
+ startling, fashion. In his story of the prophets of Baal, for
+ instance, the old captain declared that the burning water was
+ nothing more nor less than petroleum. Upon reading the "notes,"
+ Professor Phelps of Yale wrote that the same method of explaining
+ miracles had been offered by Sir Thomas Browne.
+
+ Perhaps it may be added that Captain Hurricane Jones also appears in
+ Roughing It, as Captain Ned Blakely.
+
+
+ To Professor William Lyon Phelps;
+
+ YALE UNIVERSITY,
+ NEW YORK, April 24, 1901.
+MY DEAR SIR,--I was not aware that old Sir Thomas had anticipated that
+story, and I am much obliged to you for furnishing me the paragraph.
+t is curious that the same idea should leave entered two heads so unlike
+as the head of that wise old philosopher and that of Captain Ned Wakeman,
+a splendidly uncultured old sailor, but in his own opinion a thinker by
+divine right. He was an old friend of mine of many years' standing;
+I made two or three voyages with him, and found him a darling in many
+ways. The petroleum story was not told to me; he told it to Joe
+Twichell, who ran across him by accident on a sea voyage where I think
+the two were the only passengers. A delicious pair, and admirably mated,
+they took to each other at once and became as thick as thieves. Joe was
+passing under a fictitious name, and old Wakeman didn't suspect that he
+was a parson; so he gave his profanity full swing, and he was a master of
+that great art. You probably know Twichell, and will know that that is a
+kind of refreshment which he is very capable of enjoying.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ For the summer Clemens and his family found a comfortable lodge in
+ the Adirondacks--a log cabin called "The Lair"--on Saranac Lake.
+ Soon after his arrival there he received an invitation to attend the
+ celebration of Missouri's eightieth anniversary. He sent the
+ following letter:
+
+
+ To Edward L. Dimmitt, in St. Louis:
+
+ AMONG THE ADIRONDACK LAKES, July 19, 1901.
+DEAR MR. DIMMITT,--By an error in the plans, things go wrong end first in
+this world, and much precious time is lost and matters of urgent
+importance are fatally retarded. Invitations which a brisk young fellow
+should get, and which would transport him with joy, are delayed and
+impeded and obstructed until they are fifty years overdue when they reach
+him.
+
+It has happened again in this case.
+
+When I was a boy in Missouri I was always on the lookout for invitations
+but they always miscarried and went wandering through the aisles of time;
+and now they are arriving when I am old and rheumatic and can't travel
+and must lose my chance.
+
+I have lost a world of delight through this matter of delaying
+invitations. Fifty years ago I would have gone eagerly across the world
+to help celebrate anything that might turn up. IT would have made no
+difference to me what it was, so that I was there and allowed a chance to
+make a noise.
+
+The whole scheme of things is turned wrong end to. Life should begin
+with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its
+capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages. As things are now, when in
+youth a dollar would bring a hundred pleasures, you can't have it. When
+you are old, you get it and there is nothing worth buying with it then.
+
+It's an epitome of life. The first half of it consists of the capacity
+to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance without
+the capacity.
+
+I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along.
+I am approaching the threshold of age; in 1977 I shall be 142. This is
+no time to be flitting about the earth. I must cease from the activities
+proper to youth and begin to take on the dignities and gravities and
+inertia proper to that season of honorable senility which is on its way
+and imminent as indicated above.
+
+Yours is a great and memorable occasion, and as a son of Missouri I
+should hold it a high privilege to be there and share your just pride in
+the state's achievements; but I must deny myself the indulgence, while
+thanking you earnestly for the prized honor you have done me in asking me
+to be present.
+ Very truly yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ In the foregoing Mark Twain touches upon one of his favorite
+ fancies: that life should begin with old age and approach strong
+ manhood, golden youth, to end at last with pampered and beloved
+ babyhood. Possibly he contemplated writing a story with this idea
+ as the theme, but He seems never to have done so.
+
+ The reader who has followed these letters may remember Yung Wing,
+ who had charge of the Chinese educational mission in Hartford, and
+ how Mark Twain, with Twichell, called on General Grant in behalf of
+ the mission. Yung Wing, now returned to China, had conceived the
+ idea of making an appeal to the Government of the United States for
+ relief of his starving countrymen.
+
+
+ To J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ AMPERSAND, N. Y., July 28, '01.
+DEAR JOE,--As you say, it is impracticable--in my case, certainly. For
+me to assist in an appeal to that Congress of land-thieves and liars
+would be to bring derision upon it; and for me to assist in an appeal for
+cash to pass through the hands of those missionaries out there, of any
+denomination, Catholic or Protestant, wouldn't do at all. They wouldn't
+handle money which I had soiled, and I wouldn't trust them with it,
+anyway. They would devote it to the relief of suffering--I know that--
+but the sufferers selected would be converts. The missionary-utterances
+exhibit no humane feeling toward the others, but in place of it a spirit
+of hate and hostility. And it is natural; the Bible forbids their
+presence there, their trade is unlawful, why shouldn't their characters
+be of necessity in harmony with--but never mind, let it go, it irritates
+me.
+
+Later.... I have been reading Yung Wing's letter again. It may be that
+he is over-wrought by his sympathies, but it may not be so. There may be
+other reasons why the missionaries are silent about the Shensi-2-year
+famine and cannibalism. It may be that there are so few Protestant
+converts there that the missionaries are able to take care of them. That
+they are not likely to largely concern themselves about Catholic converts
+and the others, is quite natural, I think.
+
+That crude way of appealing to this Government for help in a cause which
+has no money in it, and no politics, rises before me again in all its
+admirable innocence! Doesn't Yung Wing know us yet? However, he has
+been absent since '96 or '97. We have gone to hell since then. Kossuth
+couldn't raise 30 cents in Congress, now, if he were back with his moving
+Magyar-Tale.
+
+I am on the front porch (lower one--main deck) of our little bijou of a
+dwelling-house. The lake-edge (Lower Saranac) is so nearly under me that
+I can't see the shore, but only the water, small-pored with rain-
+splashes--for there is a heavy down-pour. It is charmingly like sitting
+snuggled up on a ship's deck with the stretching sea all around--but very
+much more satisfactory, for at sea a rain-storm is depressing, while here
+of course the effect engendered is just a deep sense of comfort and
+contentment. The heavy forest shuts us solidly in on three sides there
+are no neighbors. There are beautiful little tan-colored impudent
+squirrels about. They take tea, 5 p. m., (not invited) at the table in
+the woods where Jean does my typewriting, and one of them has been brave
+enough to sit upon Jean's knee with his tail curved over his back and
+munch his food. They come to dinner, 7 p. m., on the front porch (not
+invited). They all have the one name--Blennerhasset, from Burr's friend
+--and none of them answers to it except when hungry.
+
+We have been here since June 21st. For a little while we had some warm
+days--according to the family's estimate; I was hardly discommoded
+myself. Otherwise the weather has been of the sort you are familiar with
+in these regions: cool days and cool nights. We have heard of the hot
+wave every Wednesday, per the weekly paper--we allow no dailies to
+intrude. Last week through visitors also--the only ones we have had--
+Dr. Root and John Howells.
+
+We have the daily lake-swim; and all the tribe, servants included (but
+not I) do a good deal of boating; sometimes with the guide, sometimes
+without him--Jean and Clara are competent with the oars. If we live
+another year, I hope we shall spend its summer in this house.
+
+We have taken the Appleton country seat, overlooking the Hudson, at
+Riverdale, 25 minutes from the Grand Central Station, for a year,
+beginning Oct. 1, with option for another year. We are obliged to be
+close to New York for a year or two.
+
+Aug. 3rd. I go yachting a fortnight up north in a 20-knot boat 225 feet
+long, with the owner, (Mr. Rogers), Tom Reid, Dr. Rice, Col. A. G. Paine
+and one or two others. Judge Howland would go, but can't get away from
+engagements; Professor Sloane would go, but is in the grip of an illness.
+Come--will you go? If you can manage it, drop a post-card to me c/o H.H.
+Rogers, 26 Broadway. I shall be in New York a couple of days before we
+sail--July 31 or Aug. 1, perhaps the latter,--and I think I shall stop at
+the Hotel Grosvenor, cor. l0th St and 5th ave.
+
+We all send you and the Harmonies lots and gobs of love.
+ MARK
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ AMPERSAND, N. Y., Aug. 28.
+DEAR JOE,--Just a word, to scoff at you, with your extravagant suggestion
+that I read the biography of Phillips Brooks--the very dullest book that
+has been printed for a century. Joe, ten pages of Mrs. Cheney's masterly
+biography of her fathers--no, five pages of it--contain more meat, more
+sense, more literature, more brilliancy, than that whole basketful of
+drowsy rubbish put together. Why, in that dead atmosphere even Brooks
+himself is dull--he wearied me; oh how he wearied me!
+
+We had a noble good time in the Yacht, and caught a Chinese missionary
+and drowned him.
+ Love from us all to you all.
+ MARK.
+
+
+ The assassination of President McKinley occurred September 6, 1901.
+ Such an event would naturally stir Mark Twain to comment on human
+ nature in general. His letter to Twichell is as individual as it is
+ sound in philosophy. At what period of his own life, or under what
+ circumstances, he made the long journey with tragic intent there is
+ no means of knowing now. There is no other mention of it elsewhere
+ in the records that survive him.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ AMPERSAND, Tuesday, (Sept. 10, 1901)
+DEAR JOE,--It is another off day, but tomorrow I shall resume work to a
+certainty, and bid a long farewell to letter-scribbling.
+
+The news of the President looks decidedly hopeful, and we are all glad,
+and the household faces are much improved, as to cheerfulness. Oh, the
+talk in the newspapers! Evidently the Human Race is the same old Human
+Race. And how unjust, and unreflectingly discriminating, the talkers
+are. Under the unsettling effects of powerful emotion the talkers are
+saying wild things, crazy things--they are out of themselves, and do not
+know it; they are temporarily insane, yet with one voice they declare the
+assassin sane--a man who has been entertaining fiery and reason--
+debauching maggots in his head for weeks and months. Why, no one is
+sane, straight along, year in and year out, and we all know it. Our
+insanities are of varying sorts, and express themselves in varying forms
+--fortunately harmless forms as a rule--but in whatever form they occur
+an immense upheaval of feeling can at any time topple us distinctly over
+the sanity-line for a little while; and then if our form happens to be of
+the murderous kind we must look out--and so must the spectator.
+
+This ass with the unpronounceable name was probably more insane than
+usual this week or two back, and may get back upon his bearings by and
+by, but he was over the sanity-border when he shot the President. It is
+possible that it has taken him the whole interval since the murder of the
+King of Italy to get insane enough to attempt the President's life.
+Without a doubt some thousands of men have been meditating the same act
+in the same interval, but new and strong interests have intervened and
+diverted their over-excited minds long enough to give them a chance to
+settle, and tranquilize, and get back upon a healthy level again. Every
+extraordinary occurrence unsettles the heads of hundreds of thousands of
+men for a few moments or hours or days. If there had been ten kings
+around when Humbert fell they would have been in great peril for a day or
+more--and from men in whose presence they would have been quite safe
+after the excess of their excitement had had an interval in which to cool
+down. I bought a revolver once and travelled twelve hundred miles to
+kill a man. He was away. He was gone a day. With nothing else to do,
+I had to stop and think--and did. Within an hour--within half of it--
+I was ashamed of myself--and felt unspeakably ridiculous. I do not know
+what to call it if I was not insane. During a whole week my head was in
+a turmoil night and day fierce enough and exhausting enough to upset a
+stronger reason than mine.
+
+All over the world, every day, there are some millions of men in that
+condition temporarily. And in that time there is always a moment--
+perhaps only a single one when they would do murder if their man was at
+hand. If the opportunity comes a shade too late, the chances are that it
+has come permanently too late. Opportunity seldom comes exactly at the
+supreme moment. This saves a million lives a day in the world--for sure.
+
+No Ruler is ever slain but the tremendous details of it are ravenously
+devoured by a hundred thousand men whose minds dwell, unaware, near the
+temporary-insanity frontier--and over they go, now! There is a day--two
+days--three--during which no Ruler would be safe from perhaps the half of
+them; and there is a single moment wherein he would not be safe from any
+of them, no doubt.
+
+It may take this present shooting-case six months to breed another ruler-
+tragedy, but it will breed it. There is at least one mind somewhere
+which will brood, and wear, and decay itself to the killing-point and
+produce that tragedy.
+
+Every negro burned at the stake unsettles the excitable brain of another
+one--I mean the inflaming details of his crime, and the lurid
+theatricality of his exit do it--and the duplicate crime follows; and
+that begets a repetition, and that one another one and so on. Every
+lynching-account unsettles the brains of another set of excitable white
+men, and lights another pyre--115 lynchings last year, 102 inside of 8
+months this year; in ten years this will be habit, on these terms.
+
+Yes, the wild talk you see in the papers! And from men who are sane when
+not upset by overwhelming excitement. A U. S. Senator-Cullom--wants this
+Buffalo criminal lynched! It would breed other lynchings--of men who are
+not dreaming of committing murders, now, and will commit none if Cullom
+will keep quiet and not provide the exciting cause.
+
+And a District Attorney wants a law which shall punish with death
+attempts upon a President's life--this, mind you, as a deterrent.
+It would have no effect--or the opposite one. The lunatic's mind-space
+is all occupied--as mine was--with the matter in hand; there is no room
+in it for reflections upon what may happen to him. That comes after the
+crime.
+
+It is the noise the attempt would make in the world that would breed the
+subsequent attempts, by unsettling the rickety minds of men who envy the
+criminal his vast notoriety--his obscure name tongued by stupendous Kings
+and Emperors--his picture printed everywhere, the trivialest details of
+his movements, what he eats, what he drinks; how he sleeps, what he says,
+cabled abroad over the whole globe at cost of fifty thousand dollars a
+day--and he only a lowly shoemaker yesterday!--like the assassin of the
+President of France--in debt three francs to his landlady, and insulted
+by her--and to-day she is proud to be able to say she knew him
+"as familiarly as you know your own brother," and glad to stand till she
+drops and pour out columns and pages of her grandeur and her happiness
+upon the eager interviewer.
+
+Nothing will check the lynchings and ruler-murder but absolute silence--
+the absence of pow-pow about them. How are you going to manage that?
+By gagging every witness and jamming him into a dungeon for life; by
+abolishing all newspapers; by exterminating all newspaper men; and by
+extinguishing God's most elegant invention, the Human Race. It is quite
+simple, quite easy, and I hope you will take a day off and attend to it,
+Joe. I blow a kiss to you, and am
+ Lovingly Yours,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ When the Adirondack summer ended Clemens settled for the winter in
+ the beautiful Appleton home at Riverdale-on-the-Hudson. It was a
+ place of wide-spreading grass and shade-a house of ample room. They
+ were established in it in time for Mark Twain to take an active
+ interest in the New York elections and assist a ticket for good
+ government to defeat Tammany Hall.
+
+
+
+
+XLI
+
+LETTERS OF 1902. RIVERDALE. YORK HARBOR. ILLNESS OF MRS. CLEMENS
+
+The year 1902 was an eventful one for Mark Twain. In April he received a
+degree of LL.D. from the University of Missouri and returned to his
+native State to accept it. This was his last journey to the Mississippi
+River. During the summer Mrs. Clemens's health broke down and illnesses
+of one sort or another visited other members of the family. Amid so much
+stress and anxiety Clemens had little time or inclination for work. He
+wrote not many letters and mainly somber ones. Once, by way of
+diversion, he worked out the idea of a curious club--which he formed--its
+members to be young girls--girls for the most part whom he had never
+seen. They were elected without their consent from among those who wrote
+to him without his consent, and it is not likely that any one so chosen
+declined membership. One selection from his letters to the French
+member, Miss Helene Picard, of St.-Die, France, will explain the club and
+present a side of Mask Twain somewhat different from that found in most
+of his correspondence.
+
+
+ To Miss Picard, in St.-Die, France:
+
+ RIVERDALE-ON-THE-HUDSON, February 22, 1902.
+DEAR MISS HELENE,--If you will let me call you so, considering that my
+head is white and that I have grownup daughters. Your beautiful letter
+has given me such deep pleasure! I will make bold to claim you for a
+friend and lock you up with the rest of my riches; for I am a miser who
+counts his spoil every day and hoards it secretly and adds to it when he
+can, and is grateful to see it grow.
+
+Some of that gold comes, like yourself, in a sealed package, and I can't
+see it and may never have the happiness; but I know its value without
+that, and by what sum it increases my wealth.
+
+I have a Club, a private Club, which is all my own. I appoint the
+Members myself, and they can't help themselves, because I don't allow
+them to vote on their own appointment and I don't allow them to resign!
+They are all friends whom I have never seen (save one), but who have
+written friendly letters to me.
+
+By the laws of my Club there can be only one Member in each country, and
+there can be no male Member but myself. Some day I may admit males, but
+I don't know--they are capricious and inharmonious, and their ways
+provoke me a good deal. It is a matter which the Club shall decide.
+
+I have made four appointments in the past three or four months: You as
+Member for France, a young Highland girl as Member for Scotland, a
+Mohammedan girl as Member for Bengal, and a dear and bright young niece
+of mine as Member for the United States--for I do not represent a country
+myself, but am merely Member at Large for the Human Race.
+
+You must not try to resign, for the laws of the Club do not allow that.
+You must console yourself by remembering that you are in the best of
+company; that nobody knows of your membership except myself--that no
+Member knows another's name, but only her country; that no taxes are
+levied and no meetings held (but how dearly I should like to attend
+one!).
+
+One of my Members is a Princess of a royal house, another is the daughter
+of a village book-seller on the continent of Europe. For the only
+qualification for Membership is intellect and the spirit of good will;
+other distinctions, hereditary or acquired, do not count.
+
+May I send you the Constitution and Laws of the Club? I shall be so
+pleased if I may. It is a document which one of my daughters typewrites
+for me when I need one for a new Member, and she would give her eyebrows
+to know what it is all about, but I strangle her curiosity by saying:
+"There are much cheaper typewriters than you are, my dear, and if you try
+to pry into the sacred mysteries of this Club one of your prosperities
+will perish sure."
+
+My favorite? It is "Joan of Arc." My next is "Huckleberry Finn," but
+the family's next is "The Prince and the Pauper." (Yes, you are right--
+I am a moralist in disguise; it gets me into heaps of trouble when I go
+thrashing around in political questions.)
+
+I wish you every good fortune and happiness and I thank you so much for
+your letter.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ Early in the year Clemens paid a visit to Twichell in Hartford, and
+ after one of their regular arguments on theology and the moral
+ accountability of the human race, arguments that had been going on
+ between them for more than thirty years--Twichell lent his visitor
+ Freedom of the Will, by Jonathan Edwards, to read on the way home.
+ The next letter was the result.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ RIVERDALE-ON-THE-HUDSON.
+ Feb. '02.
+DEAR JOE,--"After compliments."--[Meaning "What a good time you gave me;
+what a happiness it was to be under your roof again; etc., etc." See
+opening sentence of all translations of letters passing between Lord
+Roberts and Indian princes and rulers.]-- From Bridgeport to New York;
+thence to home; and continuously until near midnight I wallowed and
+reeked with Jonathan in his insane debauch; rose immediately refreshed
+and fine at 10 this morning, but with a strange and haunting sense of
+having been on a three days' tear with a drunken lunatic. It is years
+since I have known these sensations. All through the book is the glaze
+of a resplendent intellect gone mad--a marvelous spectacle. No, not all
+through the book--the drunk does not come on till the last third, where
+what I take to be Calvinism and its God begins to show up and shine red
+and hideous in the glow from the fires of hell, their only right and
+proper adornment. By God I was ashamed to be in such company.
+
+Jonathan seems to hold (as against the Arminian position) that the Man
+(or his Soul or his Will) never creates an impulse itself, but is moved
+to action by an impulse back of it. That's sound!
+
+Also, that of two or more things offered it, it infallibly chooses the
+one which for the moment is most pleasing to ITSELF. Perfectly correct!
+An immense admission for a man not otherwise sane.
+
+Up to that point he could have written chapters III and IV of my
+suppressed "Gospel." But there we seem to separate. He seems to concede
+the indisputable and unshakable dominion of Motive and Necessity (call
+them what he may, these are exterior forces and not under the man's
+authority, guidance or even suggestion)--then he suddenly flies the logic
+track and (to all seeming) makes the man and not these exterior forces
+responsible to God for the man's thoughts, words and acts. It is frank
+insanity.
+
+I think that when he concedes the autocratic dominion of Motive and
+Necessity he grants, a third position of mine--that a man's mind is a
+mere machine--an automatic machine--which is handled entirely from the
+outside, the man himself furnishing it absolutely nothing: not an ounce
+of its fuel, and not so much as a bare suggestion to that exterior
+engineer as to what the machine shall do, nor how it shall do it nor
+when.
+
+After that concession, it was time for him to get alarmed and shirk--for
+he was pointing straight for the only rational and possible next-station
+on that piece of road the irresponsibility of man to God.
+
+And so he shirked. Shirked, and arrived at this handsome result:
+
+Man is commanded to do so-and-so. It has been ordained from the
+beginning of time that some men shan't and others can't.
+
+These are to be blamed: let them be damned.
+
+I enjoy the Colonel very much, and shall enjoy the rest of him with an
+obscene delight.
+ Joe, the whole tribe shout love to you and yours!
+ MARK.
+
+
+ We have not heard of Joe Goodman since the trying days of '90 and
+ '91, when he was seeking to promote the fortunes of the type-setting
+ machine. Goodman, meantime, who had in turn been miner, printer,
+ publisher, and farmer; had been devoting his energies and genius to
+ something entirely new: he had been translating the prehistoric
+ Mayan inscriptions of Yucatan, and with such success that his work
+ was elaborately published by an association of British scientists.
+ In due time a copy of this publication came to Clemens, who was full
+ of admiration of the great achievement.
+
+
+ To J. T. Goodman, in California:
+
+ RIVERDALE-ON-THE-HUDSON,
+ June 13, '02.
+DEAR JOE,--I am lost in reverence and admiration! It is now twenty-four
+hours that I have been trying to cool down and contemplate with quiet
+blood this extraordinary spectacle of energy, industry, perseverance,
+pluck, analytical genius, penetration, this irruption of thunders and
+fiery splendors from a fair and flowery mountain that nobody had supposed
+was a sleeping volcano, but I seem to be as excited as ever. Yesterday
+I read as much as half of the book, not understanding a word but
+enchanted nevertheless--partly by the wonder of it all, the study, the
+erudition, the incredible labor, the modesty, the dignity, the majestic
+exclusiveness of the field and its lofty remoteness from things and
+contacts sordid and mean and earthy, and partly by the grace and beauty
+and limpidity of the book's unsurpassable English. Science, always great
+and worshipful, goes often in hodden grey, but you have clothed her in
+garments meet for her high degree.
+
+You think you get "poor pay" for your twenty years? No, oh no. You have
+lived in a paradise of the intellect whose lightest joys were beyond the
+reach of the longest purse in Christendom, you have had daily and nightly
+emancipation from the world's slaveries and gross interests, you have
+received a bigger wage than any man in the land, you have dreamed a
+splendid dream and had it come true, and to-day you could not afford to
+trade fortunes with anybody--not even with another scientist, for he must
+divide his spoil with his guild, whereas essentially the world you have
+discovered is your own and must remain so.
+
+It is all just magnificent, Joe! And no one is prouder or gladder than
+ Yours always
+ MARK.
+
+
+ At York Harbor, Maine, where they had taken a cottage for the
+ summer--a pretty place, with Howells not far distant, at Kittery
+ Point--Mrs. Clemens's health gave way. This was at a period when
+ telegraphic communication was far from reliable. The old-time
+ Western Union had fallen from grace; its "system" no longer
+ justified the best significance of that word. The new day of
+ reorganization was coming, and it was time for it. Mark Twain's
+ letter concerning the service at York Harbor would hardly be
+ warranted today, but those who remember conditions of that earlier
+ time will agree that it was justified then, and will appreciate its
+ satire.
+
+
+ To the President of The Western Union, in New York:
+
+ "THE PINES"
+ YORK HARBOR, MAINE.
+DEAR SIR,--I desire to make a complaint, and I bring it to you, the head
+of the company, because by experience I know better than to carry it to a
+subordinate.
+
+I have been here a month and a half, and by testimony of friends,
+reinforced by personal experience I now feel qualified to claim as an
+established fact that the telegraphic service here is the worst in the
+world except that Boston.
+
+These services are actually slower than was the New York and Hartford
+service in the days when I last complained to you--which was fifteen or
+eighteen years ago, when telegraphic time and train time between the
+mentioned points was exactly the same, to-wit, three hours and a half.
+Six days ago--it was that raw day which provoked so much comment--my
+daughter was on her way up from New York, and at noon she telegraphed me
+from New Haven asking that I meet her with a cloak at Portsmouth. Her
+telegram reached me four hours and a quarter later--just 15 minutes too
+late for me to catch my train and meet her.
+
+I judge that the telegram traveled about 200 miles. It is the best
+telegraphic work I have seen since I have been here, and I am mentioning
+it in this place not as a complaint but as a compliment. I think a
+compliment ought always to precede a complaint, where one is possible,
+because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous
+and gentle reception.
+
+Still, there is a detail or two connected with this matter which ought
+perhaps to be mentioned. And now, having smoothed the way with the
+compliment, I will venture them. The head corpse in the York Harbor
+office sent me that telegram altho (1) he knew it would reach me too late
+to be of any value; (2) also, that he was going to send it to me by his
+boy; (3) that the boy would not take the trolley and come the 2 miles in
+12 minutes, but would walk; (4) that he would be two hours and a quarter
+on the road; (5) and that he would collect 25 cents for transportation,
+for a telegram which the he knew to be worthless before he started it.
+From these data I infer that the Western Union owes me 75 cents; that is
+to say, the amount paid for combined wire and land transportation--
+a recoup provided for in the printed paragraph which heads the telegraph-
+blank.
+
+By these humane and Christian stages we now arrive at the complaint
+proper. We have had a grave case of illness in the family, and a
+relative was coming some six hundred miles to help in the sick-room
+during the convalescing period. It was an anxious time, of course,
+and I wrote and asked to be notified as to the hour of the expected
+arrival of this relative in Boston or in York Harbor. Being afraid of
+the telegraph--which I think ought not to be used in times of hurry and
+emergency--I asked that the desired message be brought to me by some
+swift method of transportation. By the milkman, if he was coming this
+way. But there are always people who think they know more than you do,
+especially young people; so of course the young fellow in charge of this
+lady used the telegraph. And at Boston, of all places! Except York
+Harbor.
+
+The result was as usual; let me employ a statelier and exacter term, and
+say, historical.
+
+The dispatch was handed to the h. c. of the Boston office at 9 this
+morning. It said, "Shall bring A. S. to you eleven forty-five this
+morning." The distance traveled by the dispatch is forty or fifty miles,
+I suppose, as the train-time is five minutes short of two hours, and the
+trains are so slow that they can't give a W. U. telegram two hours and
+twenty minutes start and overtake it.
+
+As I have said, the dispatch was handed in at Boston at 9. The expected
+visitors left Boston at 9.40, and reached my house at 12 noon, beating
+the telegram 2 solid hours, and 5 minutes over.
+
+The boy brought the telegram. It was bald-headed with age, but still
+legible. The boy was prostrate with travel and exposure, but still
+alive, and I went out to condole with him and get his last wishes and
+send for the ambulance. He was waiting to collect transportation before
+turning his passing spirit to less serious affairs. I found him
+strangely intelligent, considering his condition and where he is getting
+his training. I asked him at what hour the telegram was handed to the
+h. c. in Boston. He answered brightly, that he didn't know.
+
+I examined the blank, and sure enough the wary Boston h. c. had
+thoughtfully concealed that statistic. I asked him at what hour it had
+started from Boston. He answered up as brightly as ever, and said he
+didn't know.
+
+I examined the blank, and sure enough the Boston h. c. had left that
+statistic out in the cold, too. In fact it turned out to be an official
+concealment--no blank was provided for its exposure. And none required
+by the law, I suppose. "It is a good one-sided idea," I remarked;
+"They can take your money and ship your telegram next year if they want
+to--you've no redress. The law ought to extend the privilege to all of
+us."
+
+The boy looked upon me coldly.
+
+I asked him when the telegram reached York Harbor. He pointed to some
+figures following the signature at the bottom of the blank--"12.14.
+"I said it was now 1.45 and asked--
+
+"Do you mean that it reached your morgue an hour and a half ago?"
+
+He nodded assent.
+
+"It was at that time half an hour too late to be of any use to me, if I
+wanted to go and meet my people--which was the case--for by the wording
+of the message you can see that they were to arrive at the station at
+11.45. Why did, your h. c. send me this useless message? Can't he read?
+Is he dead?"
+
+"It's the rules."
+
+"No, that does not account for it. Would he have sent it if it had been
+three years old, I in the meantime deceased, and he aware of it?"
+
+The boy didn't know.
+
+"Because, you know, a rule which required him to forward to the cemetery
+to-day a dispatch due three years ago, would be as good a rule as one
+which should require him to forward a telegram to me to-day which he knew
+had lost all its value an hour or two before he started it. The
+construction of such a rule would discredit an idiot; in fact an idiot--
+I mean a common ordinary Christian idiot, you understand--would be
+ashamed of it, and for the sake of his reputation wouldn't make it. What
+do you think?"
+
+He replied with much natural brilliancy that he wasn't paid for thinking.
+
+This gave me a better opinion of the commercial intelligence pervading
+his morgue than I had had before; it also softened my feelings toward
+him, and also my tone, which had hitherto been tinged with bitterness.
+
+"Let bygones be bygones," I said, gently, "we are all erring creatures,
+and mainly idiots, but God made us so and it is dangerous to criticise."
+ Sincerely
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ One day there arrived from Europe a caller with a letter of
+ introduction from Elizabeth, Queen of Rumania, better known as
+ Carmen Sylva. The visitor was Madam Hartwig, formerly an American
+ girl, returning now, because of reduced fortunes, to find profitable
+ employment in her own land. Her husband, a man of high principle,
+ had declined to take part in an "affair of honor," as recognized by
+ the Continental code; hence his ruin. Elizabeth of Rumania was one
+ of the most loved and respected of European queens and an author of
+ distinction. Mark Twain had known her in Vienna. Her letter to him
+ and his own letter to the public (perhaps a second one, for its date
+ is two years later) follow herewith.
+
+
+ From Carmen Sylva to Mark Twain:
+
+ BUCAREST, May 9, 1902.
+HONORED MASTER,--If I venture to address you on behalf of a poor lady,
+who is stranded in Bucarest I hope not to be too disagreeable.
+
+Mrs. Hartwig left America at the age of fourteen in order to learn to
+sing which she has done thoroughly. Her husband had quite a brilliant
+situation here till he refused to partake 'dans une afaire onereuse',
+so it seems. They haven't a penny and each of them must try to find a
+living. She is very nice and pleasant and her school is so good that she
+most certainly can give excellent singing lessons.
+
+I beg your pardon for being a bore to one I so deeply love and admire,
+to whom I owe days and days of forgetfulness of self and troubles and the
+intensest of all joys: Hero-worship! People don't always realize what a
+happiness that is! God bless you for every beautiful thought you poured
+into my tired heart and for every smile on a weary way!
+
+ CARMEN SYLVA.
+
+
+ From Mark Twain to the Public:
+
+ Nov. 16, '04.
+TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,--I desire to recommend Madame Hartwig to my
+friends and the public as a teacher of singing and as a concert-vocalist.
+She has lived for fifteen years at the court of Roumania, and she brought
+with her to America an autograph letter in which her Majesty the Queen of
+Roumania cordially certified her to me as being an accomplished and
+gifted singer and teacher of singing, and expressed a warm hope that her
+professional venture among us would meet with success; through absence in
+Europe I have had no opportunity to test the validity of the Queen's
+judgment in the matter, but that judgment is the utterance of an entirely
+competent authority--the best that occupies a throne, and as good as any
+that sits elsewhere, as the musical world well knows--and therefore back
+it without hesitation, and endorse it with confidence.
+
+I will explain that the reason her Majesty tried to do her friend a
+friendly office through me instead of through someone else was, not that
+I was particularly the right or best person for the office, but because I
+was not a stranger. It is true that I am a stranger to some of the
+monarchs--mainly through their neglect of their opportunities--but such
+is not the case in the present instance. The latter fact is a high
+compliment to me, and perhaps I ought to conceal it. Some people would.
+
+ MARK TWAIN.
+
+
+
+
+ Mrs. Clemens's improvement was scarcely perceptible. It was not
+ until October that they were able to remove her to Riverdale, and
+ then only in a specially arranged invalid-car. At the end of the
+ long journey she was carried to her room and did not leave it again
+ for many months.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ RIVERDALE, N. Y., Oct. 31, '02.
+DEAR JOE,--It is ten days since Susy [Twichell] wrote that you were laid
+up with a sprained shoulder, since which time we have had no news about
+it. I hope that no news is good news, according to the proverb; still,
+authoritative confirmation of it will be gladly received in this family,
+if some of you will furnish it. Moreover, I should like to know how and
+where it happened. In the pulpit, as like as not, otherwise you would
+not be taking so much pains to conceal it. This is not a malicious
+suggestion, and not a personally-invented one: you told me yourself,
+once, that you threw artificial power and impressiveness into places in
+your sermons where needed, by "banging the bible"--(your own words.)
+You have reached a time of life when it is not wise to take these risks.
+You would better jump around. We all have to change our methods as the
+infirmities of age creep upon us. Jumping around will be impressive now,
+whereas before you were gray it would have excited remark.
+
+Poor Livy drags along drearily. It must be hard times for that turbulent
+spirit. It will be a long time before she is on her feet again. It is a
+most pathetic case. I wish I could transfer it to myself. Between
+ripping and raging and smoking and reading, I could get a good deal of a
+holiday out of it.
+
+Clara runs the house smoothly and capably. She is discharging a trial-
+cook today and hiring another.
+ A power of love to you all!
+ MARK.
+
+
+Such was the state of Mrs. Clemens's health that visitors were excluded
+from the sick room, and even Clemens himself was allowed to see her no
+more than a few moments at a time. These brief, precious visits were the
+chief interests of his long days. Occasionally he was allowed to send
+her a few lines, reporting his occupations, and these she was sometimes
+permitted to answer. Only one of his notes has been preserved, written
+after a day, now rare, of literary effort. Its signature, the letter Y,
+stands for "Youth," always her name for him.
+
+
+ To Mrs. Clemens:
+
+DEAR HEART,--I've done another full day's work, and finished before 4.
+I have been reading and dozing since and would have had a real sleep a
+few minutes ago but for an incursion to bring me a couple of unimportant
+letters. I've stuck to the bed all day and am getting back my lost
+ground. Next time I will be strictly careful and make my visit very
+short--just a kiss and a rush. Thank you for your dear, dear note; you
+who are my own and only sweetheart.
+ Sleep well!
+ Y.
+
+
+
+
+XLII
+
+LETTERS OF 1903. TO VARIOUS PERSONS. HARD DAYS AT RIVERDALE.
+LAST SUMMER AT ELMIRA. THE RETURN TO ITALY
+
+The reader may perhaps recall that H. H. Rogers, some five or six years
+earlier, had taken charge of the fortunes of Helen Keller, making it
+possible for her to complete her education. Helen had now written her
+first book--a wonderful book--'The Story of My Life', and it had been
+successfully published. For a later generation it may be proper to
+explain that the Miss Sullivan, later Mrs. Macy, mentioned in the letter
+which follows, was the noble woman who had devoted her life to the
+enlightenment of this blind, dumb girl--had made it possible for her to
+speak and understand, and, indeed, to see with the eyes of luminous
+imagination.
+
+The case of plagiarism mentioned in this letter is not now remembered,
+and does not matter, but it furnished a text for Mark Twain, whose
+remarks on the subject in general are eminently worth while.
+
+
+ To Helen Keller, in Wrentham, Mass.:
+
+ RIVERDALE-ON-THE-HUDSON,
+ ST. PATRICK'S DAY, '03.
+DEAR HELEN,--I must steal half a moment from my work to say how glad I am
+to have your book, and how highly I value it, both for its own sake and
+as a remembrances of an affectionate friendship which has subsisted
+between us for nine years without a break, and without a single act of
+violence that I can call to mind. I suppose there is nothing like it in
+heaven; and not likely to be, until we get there and show off. I often
+think of it with longing, and how they'll say, "There they come--sit
+down in front!" I am practicing with a tin halo. You do the same. I was
+at Henry Rogers's last night, and of course we talked of you. He is not
+at all well; you will not like to hear that; but like you and me, he is
+just as lovely as ever.
+
+I am charmed with your book-enchanted. You are a wonderful creature,
+the most wonderful in the world--you and your other half together--
+Miss Sullivan, I mean, for it took the pair of you to make a complete
+and perfect whole. How she stands out in her letters! her brilliancy,
+penetration, originality, wisdom, character, and the fine literary
+competencies of her pen--they are all there.
+
+Oh, dear me, how unspeakably funny and owlishly idiotic and grotesque was
+that "plagiarism" farce! As if there was much of anything in any human
+utterance, oral or written, except plagiarism! The kernal, the soul--let
+us go further and say the substance, the bulk, the actual and valuable
+material of all human utterances--is plagiarism. For substantially all
+ideas are second-hand, consciously and unconsciously drawn from a million
+outside sources, and daily used by the garnerer with a pride and
+satisfaction born of the superstition that he originated them; whereas
+there is not a rag of originality about them anywhere except the little
+discoloration they get from his mental and moral calibre and his
+temperament, and which is revealed in characteristics of phrasing. When
+a great orator makes a great speech you are listening to ten centuries
+and ten thousand men--but we call it his speech, and really some
+exceedingly small portion of it is his. But not enough to signify. It
+is merely a Waterloo. It is Wellington's battle, in some degree, and we
+call it his; but there are others that contributed. It takes a thousand
+men to invent a telegraph, or a steam engine, or a phonograph, or a
+photograph, or a telephone or any other important thing--and the last man
+gets the credit and we forget the others. He added his little mite--that
+is all he did. These object lessons should teach us that ninety-nine
+parts of all things that proceed from the intellect are plagiarisms, pure
+and simple; and the lesson ought to make us modest. But nothing can do
+that.
+
+Then why don't we unwittingly reproduce the phrasing of a story, as well
+as the story itself? It can hardly happen--to the extent of fifty words
+except in the case of a child: its memory-tablet is not lumbered with
+impressions, and the actual language can have graving-room there, and
+preserve the language a year or two, but a grown person's memory-tablet
+is a palimpsest, with hardly a bare space upon which to engrave a phrase.
+It must be a very rare thing that a whole page gets so sharply printed
+upon a man's mind, by a single reading, that it will stay long enough to
+turn up some time or other and be mistaken by him for his own. No doubt
+we are constantly littering our literature with disconnected sentences
+borrowed from books at some unremembered time and now imagined to be our
+own, but that is about the most we can do. In 1866 I read Dr. Holmes's
+poems, in the Sandwich Islands. A year and a half later I stole his
+dictation, without knowing it, and used it to dedicate my "Innocents
+Abroad" with. Then years afterwards I was talking with Dr. Holmes about
+it. He was not an ignorant ass--no, not he: he was not a collection of
+decayed human turnips, like your "Plagiarism Court;" and so when I said,
+"I know now where I stole it, but whom did you steal it from," he said,
+"I don't remember; I only know I stole it from somebody, because I have
+never originated anything altogether myself, nor met anybody who had."
+
+To think of those solemn donkeys breaking a little child's heart with
+their ignorant rubbish about plagiarism! I couldn't sleep for
+blaspheming about it last night. Why, their whole lives, their whole
+histories, all their learning, all their thoughts, all their opinions
+were one solid ruck of plagiarism, and they didn't know it and never
+suspected it. A gang of dull and hoary pirates piously setting
+themselves the task of disciplining and purifying a kitten that they
+think they've caught filching a chop! Oh, dam--
+
+But you finish it, dear, I am running short of vocabulary
+today. Ever lovingly your friend,
+ MARK.
+
+(Edited and modified by Clara Clemens, deputy to her mother, who for more
+than 7 months has been ill in bed and unable to exercise her official
+function.)
+
+
+ The burden of the Clemens household had fallen almost entirely upon
+ Clara Clemens. In addition to supervising its customary affairs,
+ she also shouldered the responsibility of an unusual combination of
+ misfortunes, for besides the critical condition of her mother, her
+ sister, Jean Clemens, was down with pneumonia, no word of which must
+ come to Mrs. Clemens. Certainly it was a difficult position. In
+ some account of it, which he set down later, Clemens wrote: "It was
+ fortunate for us all that Clara's reputation for truthfulness was so
+ well established in her mother's mind. It was our daily protection
+ from disaster. The mother never doubted Clara's word. Clara could
+ tell her large improbabilities without exciting any suspicion,
+ whereas if I tried to market even a small and simple one the case
+ would have been different. I was never able to get a reputation
+ like Clara's."
+
+ The accumulation of physical ailments in the Clemens home had
+ somewhat modified Mark Twain's notion of medical practice. He was
+ no longer radical; he had become eclectic. It is a good deal of a
+ concession that he makes to Twichell, after those earlier letters
+ from Sweden, in which osteopathy had been heralded as the anodyne
+ for all human ills.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+DEAR JOE,--Livy does really make a little progress these past 3 or 4
+days, progress which is visible to even the untrained eye. The
+physicians are doing good work with her, but my notion is, that no art of
+healing is the best for all ills. I should distribute the ailments
+around: surgery cases to the surgeons; lupus to the actinic-ray
+specialist; nervous prostration to the Christian Scientist; most ills to
+the allopath and the homeopath; (in my own particular case) rheumatism,
+gout and bronchial attacks to the osteopathist.
+
+Mr. Rogers was to sail southward this morning--and here is this weather!
+I am sorry. I think it's a question if he gets away tomorrow.
+ Ys Ever
+ MARK.
+
+
+ It was through J. Y. M. MacAlister, to whom the next letter is
+ written, that Mark Twain had become associated with the Plasmon
+ Company, which explains the reference to "shares." He had seen much
+ of MacAlister during the winter at Tedworth Square, and had grown
+ fond of him. It is a characteristic letter, and one of interesting
+ fact.
+
+
+ To J. Y. M. MacAlister, in London:
+
+ RIVERDALE, NEW YORK.
+ April, 7, '03.
+DEAR MACALISTER,--Yours arrived last night, and God knows I was glad to
+get it, for I was afraid I had blundered into an offence in some way and
+forfeited your friendship--a kind of blunder I have made so many times in
+my life that I am always standing in a waiting and morbid dread of its
+occurrence.
+
+Three days ago I was in condition--during one horribly long night--to
+sympathetically roast with you in your "hell of troubles." During that
+night I was back again where I was in the black days when I was buried
+under a mountain of debt. I called the daughters to me in private
+council and paralysed them with the announcement, "Our outgo has
+increased in the past 8 months until our expenses are now 125 per cent.
+greater than our income."
+
+It was a mistake. When I came down in the morning a gray and aged wreck,
+and went over the figures again, I found that in some unaccountable way
+(unaccountable to a business man but not to me) I had multiplied the
+totals by 2. By God I dropped 75 years on the floor where I stood.
+
+Do you know it affected me as one is affected when he wakes out of a
+hideous dream and finds that it was only a dream. It was a great comfort
+and satisfaction to me to call the daughters to a private meeting of the
+Board again and say, "You need not worry any more; our outgo is only a
+third more than our income; in a few months your mother will be out of
+her bed and on her feet again--then we shall drop back to normal and be
+all right."
+
+Certainly there is a blistering and awful reality about a well-arranged
+unreality. It is quite within the possibilities that two or three nights
+like that night of mine could drive a man to suicide. He would refuse to
+examine the figures; they would revolt him so, and he could go to his
+death unaware that there was nothing serious about them. I cannot get
+that night out of my head, it was so vivid, so real, so ghastly. In any
+other year of these 33 the relief would have been simple: go where you
+can cut your cloth to fit your income. You can't do that when your wife
+can't be moved, even from one room to the next.
+
+Clam spells the trained nurse afternoons; I am allowed to see Mrs.
+Clemens 20 minutes twice a day and write her two letters a day provided I
+put no news in them. No other person ever sees her except the physician
+and now and then a nerve-specialist from New York. She saw there was
+something the matter that morning, but she got no facts out of me. But
+that is nothing--she hasn't had anything but lies for 8 months. A fact
+would give her a relapse.
+
+The doctor and a specialist met in conspiracy five days ago, and in their
+belief she will by and by come out of this as good as new, substantially.
+They ordered her to Italy for next winter--which seems to indicate that
+by autumn she will be able to undertake the voyage. So Clara is writing
+a Florence friend to take a look round among the villas for us in the
+regions near that city. It seems early to do this, but Joan Bergheim
+thought it would be wise.
+
+He and his wife lunched with us here yesterday. They have been abroad in
+Havana 4 months, and they sailed for England this morning.
+
+I am enclosing an order for half of my (your) Founders shares. You are
+not to refuse them this time, though you have done it twice before. They
+are yours, not mine, and for your family's sake if not your own you
+cannot in these cloudy days renounce this property which is so clearly
+yours and theirs. You have been generous long enough; be just, now to
+yourself. Mr. Rogers is off yachting for 5 or 6 weeks--I'll get them
+when he returns. The head of the house joins me in warmest greetings and
+remembrances to you and Mrs. MacAlister.
+ Ever yours,
+ Mark.
+
+May 8. Great Scott! I never mailed this letter! I addressed it, put
+"Registered" on it--then left it lying unsealed on the arm of my chair,
+and rushed up to my bed quaking with a chill. I've never been out of the
+bed since--oh, bronchitis, rheumatism, two sets of teeth aching, land,
+I've had a dandy time for 4 weeks. And to-day--great guns, one of the
+very worst! . . .
+
+I'm devilish sorry, and I do apologise--for although I am not as slow as
+you are about answering letters, as a rule, I see where I'm standing this
+time.
+
+Two weeks ago Jean was taken down again--this time with measles, and I
+haven't been able to go to her and she hasn't been able to come to me.
+
+But Mrs. Clemens is making nice progress, and can stand alone a moment or
+two at a time.
+
+Now I'll post this.
+ MARK
+
+
+ The two letters that follow, though written only a few days apart,
+ were separated in their arrival by a period of seven years. The
+ second letter was, in some way, mislaid and not mailed; and it was
+ not until after the writer of it was dead that it was found and
+ forwarded.
+
+ Mark Twain could never get up much enthusiasm for the writings of
+ Scott. His praise of Quentin Durward is about the only approval he
+ ever accorded to the works of the great romanticist.
+
+
+ To Brander Matthews, in New York:
+
+ NEW YORK CITY, May 4, '03.
+DEAR BRANDER,--I haven't been out of my bed for four weeks, but--well, I
+have been reading, a good deal, and it occurs to me to ask you to sit
+down, some time or other when you have 8 or 9 months to spare, and jot me
+down a certain few literary particulars for my help and elevation. Your
+time need not be thrown away, for at your further leisure you can make
+Colombian lectures out of the results and do your students a good turn.
+
+1. Are there in Sir Walter's novels passages done in good English--
+English which is neither slovenly or involved?
+
+2. Are there passages whose English is not poor and thin and
+commonplace, but is of a quality above that?
+
+3. Are there passages which burn with real fire--not punk, fox-fire,
+make believe?
+
+4. Has he heroes and heroines who are not cads and cadesses?
+
+5. Has he personages whose acts and talk correspond with their
+characters as described by him?
+
+6. Has he heroes and heroines whom the reader admires, admires, and
+knows why?
+
+7. Has he funny characters that are funny, and humorous passages that
+are humorous?
+
+8. Does he ever chain the reader's interest, and make him reluctant to
+lay the book down?
+
+9. Are there pages where he ceases from posing, ceases from admiring the
+placid flood and flow of his own dilutions, ceases from being artificial,
+and is for a time, long or short, recognizably sincere and in earnest?
+
+10. Did he know how to write English, and didn't do it because he didn't
+want to?
+
+11. Did he use the right word only when he couldn't think of another
+one, or did he run so much to wrong because he didn't know the right one
+when he saw it?
+
+13. Can you read him? and keep your respect for him? Of course a
+person could in his day--an era of sentimentality and sloppy romantics--
+but land! can a body do it today?
+
+Brander, I lie here dying, slowly dying, under the blight of Sir Walter.
+I have read the first volume of Rob Roy, and as far as chapter XIX of Guy
+Mannering, and I can no longer hold my head up nor take my nourishment.
+Lord, it's all so juvenile! so artificial, so shoddy; and such wax
+figures and skeletons and spectres. Interest? Why, it is impossible to
+feel an interest in these bloodless shams, these milk-and-water humbugs.
+And oh, the poverty of the invention! Not poverty in inventing
+situations, but poverty in furnishing reasons for them. Sir Walter
+usually gives himself away when he arranges for a situation--elaborates,
+and elaborates, and elaborates, till if you live to get to it you don't
+believe in it when it happens.
+
+I can't find the rest of Rob Roy, I can't stand any more Mannering--I do
+not know just what to do, but I will reflect, and not quit this great
+study rashly. He was great, in his day, and to his proper audience; and
+so was God in Jewish times, for that matter, but why should either of
+them rank high now? And do they?--honest, now, do they? Dam'd if I
+believe it.
+
+My, I wish I could see you and Leigh Hunt!
+` Sincerely Yours
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ To Brander Matthews, in New York:
+
+ RIVERDALE, May 8,'03 (Mailed June, 1910).
+DEAR BRANDER,--I'm still in bed, but the days have lost their dulness
+since I broke into Sir Walter and lost my temper. I finished Guy
+Mannering--that curious, curious book, with its mob of squalid shadows
+jabbering around a single flesh-and-blood being--Dinmont; a book crazily
+put together out of the very refuse of the romance-artist's stage
+properties--finished it and took up Quentin Durward, and finished that.
+
+It was like leaving the dead to mingle with the living: it was like
+withdrawing from the infant class in the College of journalism to sit
+under the lectures in English literature in Columbia University.
+
+I wonder who wrote Quentin Durward?
+ Yrs ever
+ MARK.
+
+
+ In 1903, preparations were going on for a great world's fair, to be
+ held in St. Louis, and among other features proposed was a World's
+ Literary Convention, with a week to be set apart in honor of Mark
+ Twain, and a special Mark Twain Day in it, on which the National
+ Association would hold grand services in honor of the distinguished
+ Missourian. A letter asking his consent to the plan brought the
+ following reply.
+
+
+ To T. F. Gatts, of Missouri:
+
+ NEW YORK, May 30, 1903.
+DEAR MR. GATTS,--It is indeed a high compliment which you offer me in
+naming an association after me and in proposing the setting apart of a
+Mark Twain day at the great St. Louis fair, but such compliments are not
+proper for the living; they are proper and safe for the dead only. I
+value the impulse which moves you to tender me these honors. I value it
+as highly as any one can, and am grateful for it, but I should stand in a
+sort of terror of the honors themselves. So long as we remain alive we
+are not safe from doing things which, however righteously and honorably
+intended, can wreck our repute and extinguish our friendships.
+
+I hope that no society will be named for me while I am still alive, for I
+might at some time or other do something which would cause its members to
+regret having done me that honor. After I shall have joined the dead I
+shall follow the customs of those people and be guilty of no conduct that
+can wound any friend; but until that time shall come I shall be a
+doubtful quantity like the rest of our race.
+ Very truly yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ The National Mark Twain Association did not surrender easily. Mr.
+ Gatts wrote a second letter full of urgent appeal. If Mark Twain
+ was tempted, we get no hint of it in his answer.
+
+
+ To T. F. Gatts, of Missouri:
+
+ NEW YORK, June 8, 1903.
+DEAR MR. GATTS,--While I am deeply touched by the desire of my friends of
+Hannibal to confer these great honors upon me, I must still forbear to
+accept them. Spontaneous and unpremeditated honors, like those which
+came to me at Hannibal, Columbia, St. Louis and at the village stations
+all down the line, are beyond all price and are a treasure for life in
+the memory, for they are a free gift out of the heart and they come
+without solicitations; but I am a Missourian and so I shrink from
+distinctions which have to be arranged beforehand and with my privity,
+for I then became a party to my own exalting. I am humanly fond of
+honors that happen but chary of those that come by canvass and intention.
+With sincere thanks to you and your associates for this high compliment
+which you have been minded to offer me, I am,
+ Very truly yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ We have seen in the letter to MacAlister that Mark Twain's wife had
+ been ordered to Italy and plans were in progress for an
+ establishment there. By the end of June Mrs. Clemens was able to
+ leave Riverdale, and she made the journey to Quarry Farm, Elmira,
+ where they would remain until October, the month planned for their
+ sailing. The house in Hartford had been sold; and a house which,
+ prior to Mrs. Clemens's breakdown they had bought near Tarrytown
+ (expecting to settle permanently on the Hudson) had been let. They
+ were going to Europe for another indefinite period.
+
+ At Quarry Farm Mrs. Clemens continued to improve, and Clemens, once
+ more able to work, occupied the study which Mrs. Crane had built for
+ him thirty years before, and where Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn and the
+ Wandering Prince had been called into being.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford, Conn.:
+
+ QUARRY FARM, ELMIRA, N. Y.,
+ July 21, '03.
+DEAR JOE,--That love-letter delighted Livy beyond any like utterance
+received by her these thirty years and more. I was going to answer it
+for her right away, and said so; but she reserved the privilege to
+herself. I judge she is accumulating Hot Stuff--as George Ade would say
+. . . .
+
+Livy is coming along: eats well, sleeps some, is mostly very gay, not
+very often depressed; spends all day on the porch, sleeps there a part of
+the night, makes excursions in carriage and in wheel-chair; and, in the
+matter of superintending everything and everybody, has resumed business
+at the old stand.
+
+Did you ever go house-hunting 3,000 miles away? It costs three months of
+writing and telegraphing to pull off a success. We finished 3 or 4 days
+ago, and took the Villa Papiniano (dam the name, I have to look at it a
+minutes after writing it, and then am always in doubt) for a year by
+cable. Three miles outside of Florence, under Fiesole--a darling
+location, and apparently a choice house, near Fiske.
+
+There's 7 in our gang. All women but me. It means trunks and things.
+But thanks be! To-day (this is private) comes a most handsome voluntary
+document with seals and escutcheons on it from the Italian Ambassador
+(who is a stranger to me) commanding the Customs people to keep their
+hands off the Clemens's things. Now wasn't it lovely of him? And wasn't
+it lovely of me to let Livy take a pencil and edit my answer and knock a
+good third of it out?
+
+And that's a nice ship--the Irene! new--swift--13,000 tons--rooms up in
+the sky, open to sun and air--and all that. I was desperately troubled
+for Livy--about the down-cellar cells in the ancient "Latin."
+
+The cubs are in Riverdale, yet; they come to us the first week in August.
+ With lots and lots of love to you all,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ The arrangement for the Villa Papiniano was not completed, after
+ all, and through a good friend, George Gregory Smith, a resident of
+ Florence, the Villa Quarto, an ancient home of royalty, on the hills
+ west of Florence, was engaged. Smith wrote that it was a very
+ beautiful place with a south-eastern exposure, looking out toward
+ Valombrosa and the Chianti Hills. It had extensive grounds and
+ stables, and the annual rental for it all was two thousand dollars a
+ year. It seemed an ideal place, in prospect, and there was great
+ hope that Mrs. Clemens would find her health once more in the
+ Italian climate which she loved.
+
+ Perhaps at this point, when Mark Twain is once more leaving America,
+ we may offer two letters from strangers to him--letters of
+ appreciation--such as he was constantly receiving from those among
+ the thousands to whom he had given happiness. The first is from
+ Samuel Merwin, one day to become a popular novelist, then in the
+ hour of his beginnings.
+
+
+ To Mark Twain, from Samuel Merwin:
+
+ PLAINFIELD, N. J.
+ August 4, 1903.
+DEAR MR. CLEMENS,--For a good many years I have been struggling with the
+temptation to write you and thank you for the work you have done; and to-
+day I seem to be yielding.
+
+During the past two years I have been reading through a group of writers
+who seem to me to represent about the best we have--Sir Thomas Malory,
+Spenser, Shakespeare, Boswell, Carlyle, Le Sage. In thinking over one
+and then another, and then all of them together, it was plain to see why
+they were great men and writers: each brought to his time some new blood,
+new ideas,--turned a new current into the stream. I suppose there have
+always been the careful, painstaking writers, the men who are always
+taken so seriously by their fellow craftsmen. It seems to be the
+unconventional man who is so rare--I mean the honestly unconventional
+man, who has to express himself in his own big way because the
+conventional way isn't big enough, because ne needs room and freedom.
+
+We have a group of the more or less conventional men now--men of dignity
+and literary position. But in spite of their influence and of all the
+work they have done, there isn't one of them to whom one can give one's
+self up without reservation, not one whose ideas seem based on the deep
+foundation of all true philosophy,--except Mark Twain.
+
+I hope this letter is not an impertinence. I have just been turning
+about, with my head full of Spenser and Shakespeare and "Gil Blas,"
+looking for something in our own present day literature to which I could
+surrender myself as to those five gripping old writings. And nothing
+could I find until I took up "Life on the Mississippi," and "Huckleberry
+Finn," and, just now, the "Connecticut Yankee." It isn't the first time
+I have read any of these three, and it's because I know it won't be the
+last, because these books are the only ones written in my lifetime that
+claim my unreserved interest and admiration and, above all, my feelings,
+that I've felt I had to write this letter.
+
+I like to think that "Tom Sawyer" and "Huckleberry Finn" will be looked
+upon, fifty or a hundred years from now, as the picture of buoyant,
+dramatic, human American life. I feel, deep in my own heart, pretty sure
+that they will be. They won't be looked on then as the work of a
+"humorist" any more than we think of Shakespeare as a humorist now.
+I don't mean by this to set up a comparison between Mark Twain and
+Shakespeare: I don't feel competent to do it; and I'm not at all sure
+that it could be done until Mark Twain's work shall have its fair share
+of historical perspective. But Shakespeare was a humorist and so, thank
+Heaven! is Mark Twain. And Shakespeare plunged deep into the deep, sad
+things of life; and so, in a different way (but in a way that has more
+than once brought tears to my eyes) has Mark Twain. But after all, it
+isn't because of any resemblance for anything that was ever before
+written that Mark Twain's books strike in so deep: it's rather because
+they've brought something really new into our literature--new, yet old as
+Adam and Eve and the Apple. And this achievement, the achievement of
+putting something into literature that was not there before, is, I should
+think, the most that any writer can ever hope to do. It is the one mark
+of distinction between the "lonesome" little group of big men and the
+vast herd of medium and small ones. Anyhow, this much I am sure of--to
+the young man who hopes, however feebly, to accomplish a little
+something, someday, as a writer, the one inspiring example of our time is
+Mark Twain.
+ Very truly yours,
+ SAMUEL MERWIN.
+
+
+Mark Twain once said he could live a month on a good compliment, and from
+his reply, we may believe this one to belong in, that class.
+
+
+ To Samuel Merwin, in Plainfield, N. J.:
+
+ Aug. 16, '03.
+DEAR MR. MERWIN,--What you have said has given me deep pleasure--indeed I
+think no words could be said that could give me more.
+ Very sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ The next "compliment" is from one who remains unknown, for she
+ failed to sign her name in full. But it is a lovely letter, and
+ loses nothing by the fact that the writer of it was willing to
+ remain in obscurity.
+
+
+ To Mark Twain, from Margaret M----:
+
+ PORTLAND, OREGON
+ Aug. 18, 1903.
+MY DEAR, DEAR MARK TWAIN,--May a little girl write and tell you how
+dearly she loves and admires your writings? Well, I do and I want to
+tell you your ownself. Don't think me too impertinent for indeed I don't
+mean to be that! I have read everything of yours that I could get and
+parts that touch me I have read over and over again. They seem such dear
+friends to me, so like real live human beings talking and laughing,
+working and suffering too! One cannot but feel that it is your own life
+and experience that you have painted. So do not wonder that you seem a
+dear friend to me who has never even seen you. I often think of you as
+such in my own thoughts. I wonder if you will laugh when I tell you I
+have made a hero of you? For when people seem very sordid and mean and
+stupid (and it seems as if everybody was) then the thought will come like
+a little crumb of comfort "well, Mark Twain isn't anyway." And it does
+really brighten me up.
+
+You see I have gotten an idea that you are a great, bright spirit of
+kindness and tenderness. One who can twist everybody's-even your own-
+faults and absurdities into hearty laughs. Even the person mocked must
+laugh! Oh, Dear! How often you have made me laugh! And yet as often
+you have struck something infinite away down deep in my heart so that I
+want to cry while half laughing!
+
+So this all means that I want to thank you and to tell you. "God always
+love Mark Twain!" is often my wish. I dearly love to read books, and I
+never tire of reading yours; they always have a charm for me. Good-bye,
+I am afraid I have not expressed what I feel. But at least I have tried.
+ Sincerely yours.
+ MARGARET M.----
+
+
+ Clemens and family left Elmira October the 5th for New York City.
+ They remained at the Hotel Grosvenor until their sailing date,
+ October 24th. A few days earlier, Mr. Frank Doubleday sent a volume
+ of Kipling's poems and de Blowitz's Memoirs for entertainment on the
+ ship. Mark Twain's acknowledgment follows.
+
+
+ To F. N. Doubleday, in New York:
+
+ THE GROSVENOR,
+ October 12, '03.
+DEAR DOUBLEDAY,--The books came--ever so many thanks. I have been
+reading "The Bell Buoy" and "The Old Men" over and over again--my custom
+with Kipling's work-and saving up the rest for other leisurely and
+luxurious meals. A bell-buoy is a deeply impressive fellow-being. In
+these many recent trips up and down the Sound in the Kanawha --
+[Mr. Rogers's yacht.]-- he has talked to me nightly, sometimes in his
+pathetic and melancholy way, sometimes with his strenuous and urgent
+note, and I got his meaning--now I have his words! No one but Kipling
+could do this strong and vivid thing. Some day I hope to hear the poem
+chanted or sung--with the bell-buoy breaking in, out of the distance.
+
+"The Old Men," delicious, isn't it? And so comically true. I haven't
+arrived there yet, but I suppose I am on the way....
+ Yours ever,
+ MARK.
+
+P. S. Your letter has arrived. It makes me proud and glad--what Kipling
+says. I hope Fate will fetch him to Florence while we are there.
+I would rather see him than any other man.
+
+We've let the Tarrytown house for a year. Man, you would never have
+believed a person could let a house in these times. That one's for sale,
+the Hartford one is sold. When we buy again may we--may I--be damned....
+
+I've dipped into Blowitz and find him quaintly and curiously interesting.
+I think he tells the straight truth, too. I knew him a little, 23 years
+ago.
+
+ The appreciative word which Kipling had sent Doubleday was: "I love
+ to think of the great and God-like Clemens. He is the biggest man
+ you have on your side of the water by a damn sight, and don't you
+ forget it. Cervantes was a relation of his."
+
+
+
+
+XLIII
+
+LETTERS OF 1904. TO VARIOUS PERSONS. LIFE IN VILLA QUARTO. DEATH OF
+MRS. CLEMENS. THE RETURN TO AMERICA
+
+Mrs. Clemens stood the voyage to Italy very well and, in due time, the
+family were installed in the Villa Reale di Quarto, the picturesque old
+Palace of Cosimo, a spacious, luxurious place, even if not entirely
+cheerful or always comfortable during the changeable Tuscan winter.
+Congratulated in a letter from MacAlister in being in the midst of
+Florentine sunshine, he answered: "Florentine sunshine? Bless you, there
+isn't any. We have heavy fogs every morning, and rain all day. This
+house is not merely large, it is vast--therefore I think it must always
+lack the home feeling."
+
+Neither was their landlady, the American wife of an Italian count, all
+that could be desired. From a letter to Twichell, however, we learn that
+Mark Twain's work was progressing well.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO,
+ FLORENCE, Jan. 7, '04.
+DEAR JOE,--. . . I have had a handsome success, in one way, here.
+I left New York under a sort of half promise to furnish to the Harper
+magazines 30,000 words this year. Magazining is difficult work because
+every third page represents 2 pages that you have put in the fire;
+(because you are nearly sure to start wrong twice) and so when you have
+finished an article and are willing to let it go to print it represents
+only 10 cents a word instead of 30.
+
+But this time I had the curious (and unprecedented) luck to start right
+in each case. I turned out 37,000 words in 25 working days; and the
+reason I think I started right every time is, that not only have I
+approved and accepted the several articles, but the court of last resort
+(Livy) has done the same.
+
+On many of the between-days I did some work, but only of an idle and not
+necessarily necessary sort, since it will not see print until I am dead.
+I shall continue this (an hour per day) but the rest of the year I expect
+to put in on a couple of long books (half-completed ones.) No more
+magazine-work hanging over my head.
+
+This secluded and silent solitude this clean, soft air and this
+enchanting view of Florence, the great valley and the snow-mountains that
+frame it are the right conditions for work. They are a persistent
+inspiration. To-day is very lovely; when the afternoon arrives there
+will be a new picture every hour till dark, and each of them divine--or
+progressing from divine to diviner and divinest. On this (second) floor
+Clara's room commands the finest; she keeps a window ten feet high wide
+open all the time and frames it in. I go in from time to time, every day
+and trade sass for a look. The central detail is a distant and stately
+snow-hump that rises above and behind blackforested hills, and its
+sloping vast buttresses, velvety and sun-polished with purple shadows
+between, make the sort of picture we knew that time we walked in
+Switzerland in the days of our youth.
+
+I wish I could show your letter to Livy--but she must wait a week or so
+for it. I think I told you she had a prostrating week of tonsilitis a
+month ago; she has remained very feeble ever since, and confined to the
+bed of course, but we allow ourselves to believe she will regain the lost
+ground in another month. Her physician is Professor Grocco--she could
+not have a better. And she has a very good trained nurse.
+
+Love to all of you from all of us. And to all of our dear Hartford
+friends.
+ MARK
+
+P. S. 3 days later.
+
+Livy is as remarkable as ever. The day I wrote you--that night, I mean--
+she had a bitter attack of gout or rheumatism occupying the whole left
+arm from shoulder to fingers, accompanied by fever. The pains racked her
+50 or 6o hours; they have departed, now--and already she is planning a
+trip to Egypt next fall, and a winter's sojourn there! This is life in
+her yet.
+
+You will be surprised that I was willing to do so much magazine-writing--
+a thing I have always been chary about--but I had good reasons. Our
+expenses have been so prodigious for a year and a half, and are still so
+prodigious, that Livy was worrying altogether too much about them, and
+doing a very dangerous amount of lying awake on their account. It was
+necessary to stop that, and it is now stopped.
+
+Yes, she is remarkable, Joe. Her rheumatic attack set me to cursing and
+swearing, without limit as to time or energy, but it merely concentrated
+her patience and her unconquerable fortitude. It is the difference
+between us. I can't count the different kinds of ailments which have
+assaulted her in this fiendish year and a half--and I forgive none of
+them--but here she comes up again as bright and fresh and enterprising as
+ever, and goes to planning about Egypt, with a hope and a confidence
+which are to me amazing.
+
+Clara is calling for me--we have to go into town and pay calls.
+
+ MARK.
+
+
+ In Florence, that winter, Clemens began dictating to his secretary
+ some autobiographical chapters. This was the work which was "not to
+ see print until I am dead." He found it a pleasant, lazy occupation
+ and wrote his delight in it to Howells in a letter which seems not
+ to have survived. In his reply, Howells wrote: "You do stir me
+ mightily with the hope of dictating and I will try it when I get the
+ chance. But there is the tempermental difference. You are dramatic
+ and unconscious; you count the thing more than yourself; I am cursed
+ with consciousness to the core, and can't say myself out; I am
+ always saying myself in, and setting myself above all that I say, as
+ of more worth. Lately I have felt as if I were rotting with
+ egotism. I don't admire myself; I am sick of myself; but I can't
+ think of anything else. Here I am at it now, when I ought to be
+ rejoicing with you at the blessing you have found .... I'd like,
+ immensely, to read your autobiography. You always rather bewildered
+ me by your veracity, and I fancy you may tell the truth about
+ yourself. But all of it? The black truth which we all know of
+ ourselves in our hearts, or only the whity-brown truth of the
+ pericardium, or the nice, whitened truth of the shirtfront? Even
+ you won't tell the black heart's--truth. The man who could do it
+ would be famed to the last day the sun shone upon."
+
+ We gather from Mark Twain's answer that he was not deceiving himself
+ in the matter of his confessions.
+
+
+ To W. D. Howells, in New York:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ March 14, '04.
+DEAR HOWELLS,--Yes, I set up the safeguards, in the first day's
+dictating; taking this position: that an autobiography is the truest of
+all books; for while it inevitably consists mainly of extinctions of the
+truth, shirkings of the truth, partial revealments of the truth, with
+hardly an instance of plain straight truth, the remorseless truth is
+there, between the lines, where the author is raking dust upon it, the
+result being that the reader knows the author in spite of his wily
+diligences.
+
+The summer in England! you can't ask better luck than that. Then you
+will run over to Florence; we shall all be hungry to see you-all. We are
+hunting for another villa, (this one is plenty large enough but has no
+room in it) but even if we find it I am afraid it will be months before
+we can move Mrs. Clemens. Of course it will. But it comforts us to let
+on that we think otherwise, and these pretensions help to keep hope alive
+in her.
+ Good-bye, with love, Amen.
+ Yours ever
+ MARK.
+
+
+ News came of the death of Henry M. Stanley, one of Mark Twain's
+ oldest friends. Clemens once said that he had met Stanley in St.
+ Louis where he (Clemens) had delivered a lecture which Stanley had
+ reported. In the following letter he fixes the date of their
+ meeting as early in 1867, which would be immediately after Mark
+ Twain's return from California, and just prior to the Quaker City
+ excursion--a fact which is interesting only because it places the
+ two men together when each was at the very beginning of a great
+ career.
+
+
+ To Lady Stanley, in England:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FIRENZE, May 11, '04.
+DEAR LADY STANLEY,--I have lost a dear and honored friend--how fast they
+fall about me now, in my age! The world has lost a tried and proved
+hero. And you--what have you lost? It is beyond estimate--we who know
+you, and what he was to you, know that. How far he stretches across my
+life! I knew him when his work was all before him five years before the
+great day that he wrote his name far-away up on the blue of the sky for
+the world to see and applaud and remember; I have known him as friend and
+intimate ever since. It is 37 years. I have known no other friend and
+intimate so long, except John Hay--a friendship which dates from the same
+year and the same half of it, the first half of 1867. I grieve with you
+and with your family, dear Lady Stanley, it is all I can do; but that I
+do out of my heart. It would be we, instead of I, if Mrs. Clemens knew,
+but in all these 20 months that she has lain a prisoner in her bed we
+have hidden from her all things that could sadden her. Many a friend is
+gone whom she still asks about and still thinks is living.
+
+In deepest sympathy I beg the privilege of signing myself
+ Your friend,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, May 11, '04
+DEAR JOE,--Yours has this moment arrived--just as I was finishing a note
+to poor Lady Stanley. I believe the last country-house visit we paid in
+England was to Stanley's. Lord, how my friends and acquaintances fall
+about me now, in my gray-headed days! Vereschagin, Mommsen, Dvorak,
+Lenbach, Jokai--all so recently, and now Stanley. I had known Stanley 37
+years. Goodness, who is it I haven't known! As a rule the necrologies
+find me personally interested--when they treat of old stagers. Generally
+when a man dies who is worth cabling, it happens that I have run across
+him somewhere, some time or other.
+
+Oh, say! Down by the Laurentian Library there's a marble image that has
+been sitting on its pedestal some 450 Years, if my dates are right--
+Cosimo I. I've seen the back of it many a time, but not the front; but
+yesterday I twisted my head around after we had driven by, and the
+profane exclamation burst from my mouth before I could think: "there's
+Chauncey Depew!"
+
+I mean to get a photo of it--and use it if it confirms yesterday's
+conviction. That's a very nice word from the Catholic Magazine and I am
+glad you sent it. I mean to show it to my priest--we are very fond of
+him. He is a stealing man, and is also learnedly scientific. He
+invented the thing which records the seismatic disturbances, for the
+peoples of the earth. And he's an astronomer and has an observatory of
+his own.
+
+Ah, many's the cry I have, over reflecting that maybe we could have had
+Young Harmony for Livy, and didn't have wit enough to think of it.
+
+Speaking of Livy reminds me that your inquiry arrives at a good time
+(unberufen) It has been weeks (I don't know how many!) since we could
+have said a hopeful word, but this morning Katy came the minute the day-
+nurse came on watch and said words of a strange and long-forgotten sound:
+"Mr. Clemens, Mrs. Clemens is really and truly better!--anybody can see
+it; she sees it herself; and last night at 9 o'clock she said it."
+
+There--it is heart-warming, it is splendid, it is sublime; let us enjoy
+it, let us make the most of it today--and bet not a farthing on tomorrow.
+The tomorrows have nothing for us. Too many times they have breathed the
+word of promise to our ear and broken it to our hope. We take no
+tomorrow's word any more.
+
+You've done a wonder, Joe: you've written a letter that can be sent in to
+Livy--that doesn't often happen, when either a friend or a stranger
+writes. You did whirl in a P. S. that wouldn't do, but you wrote it on a
+margin of a page in such a way that I was able to clip off the margin
+clear across both pages, and now Livy won't perceive that the sheet isn't
+the same size it used to was. It was about Aldrich's son, and I came
+near forgetting to remove it. It should have been written on a loose
+strip and enclosed. That son died on the 5th of March and Aldrich wrote
+me on the night before that his minutes were numbered. On the 18th Livy
+asked after that patient, and I was prepared, and able to give her a
+grateful surprise by telling her "the Aldriches are no longer uneasy
+about him."
+
+I do wish I could have been present and heard Charley Clark. When he
+can't light up a dark place nobody can.
+ With lots of love to you all.
+ MARK.
+
+
+ Mrs. Clemens had her bad days and her good days-days when there
+ seemed no ray of light, and others that seemed almost to promise
+ recovery. The foregoing letter to Twichell, and the one which
+ follows, to Richard Watson Gilder, reflect the hope and fear that
+ daily and hourly alternated at Villa Quarto
+
+
+ To Richard Watson Gilder, in New York:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ May 12, '04.
+DEAR GILDER,--A friend of ours (the Baroness de Nolda) was here this
+afternoon and wanted a note of introduction to the Century, for she has
+something to sell to you in case you'll want to make her an offer after
+seeing a sample of the goods. I said "With pleasure: get the goods
+ready, send the same to me, I will have Jean type-write them, then I will
+mail them to the Century and tonight I will write the note to Mr. Gilder
+and start it along. Also write me a letter embodying what you have been
+saying to me about the goods and your proposed plan of arranging and
+explaining them, and I will forward that to Gilder too."
+
+As to the Baroness. She is a German; 30 years old; was married at 17; is
+very pretty-indeed I might say very pretty; has a lot of sons (5) running
+up from seven to 12 years old. Her husband is a Russian. They live half
+the time in Russia and the other half in Florence, and supply population
+alternately to the one country and then to the other. Of course it is a
+family that speaks languages. This occurs at their table--I know it by
+experience: It is Babel come again. The other day, when no guests were
+present to keep order, the tribes were all talking at once, and 6
+languages were being traded in; at last the littlest boy lost his temper
+and screamed out at the top of his voice, with angry sobs: "Mais,
+vraiment, io non capisco gar nichts."
+
+The Baroness is a little afraid of her English, therefore she will write
+her remarks in French--I said there's a plenty of translators in New
+York. Examine her samples and drop her a line.
+
+For two entire days, now, we have not been anxious about Mrs. Clemens
+(unberufen). After 20 months of bed-ridden solitude and bodily misery
+she all of a sudden ceases to be a pallid shrunken shadow, and looks
+bright and young and pretty. She remains what she always was, the most
+wonderful creature of fortitude, patience, endurance and recuperative
+power that ever was. But ah, dear, it won't last; this fiendish malady
+will play new treacheries upon her, and I shall go back to my prayers
+again--unutterable from any pulpit!
+ With love to you and yours,
+ S. L. C.
+
+May 13 10 A.M. I have just paid one of my pair of permitted 2 minutes
+visits per day to the sick room. And found what I have learned to
+expect--retrogression, and that pathetic something in the eye which
+betrays the secret of a waning hope.
+
+
+ The year of the World's Fair had come, and an invitation from Gov.
+ Francis, of Missouri, came to Mark Twain in Florence, personally
+ inviting him to attend the great celebration and carry off first
+ prize. We may believe that Clemens felt little in the spirit of
+ humor, but to such an invitation he must send a cheerful, even if
+ disappointing, answer.
+
+
+ To Gov. Francis, of Missouri:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FIRENZE,
+ May 26, 1904.
+DEAR GOVERNOR FRANCIS,--It has been a dear wish of mine to exhibit myself
+at the Great Fair and get a prize, but circumstances beyond my control
+have interfered, and I must remain in Florence. Although I have never
+taken prizes anywhere else I used to take them at school in Missouri half
+a century ago, and I ought to be able to repeat, now, if I could have a
+chance. I used to get the medal for good spelling, every week, and I
+could have had the medal for good conduct if there hadn't been so much
+curruption in Missouri in those days; still, I got it several times by
+trading medals and giving boot. I am willing to give boot now, if--
+however, those days are forever gone by in Missouri, and perhaps it is
+better so. Nothing ever stops the way it was in this changeable world.
+Although I cannot be at the Fair, I am going to be represented there
+anyway, by a portrait, by Professor Gelli. You will find it excellent.
+Good judges here say it is better than the original. They say it has all
+the merits of the original and keeps still, besides. It sounds like
+flattery, but it is just true.
+
+I suppose you will get a prize, because you have created the most
+prodigious and in all ways most wonderful Fair the planet has ever seen.
+Very well, you have indeed earned it: and with it the gratitude of the
+State and the nation.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ MARK TWAIN
+
+ It was only a few days after the foregoing was written that death
+ entered Villa Quarto--unexpectedly at last--for with the first June
+ days Mrs. Clemens had seemed really to improve. It was on Sunday,
+ June 5th, that the end came. Clemens, with his daughter Jean, had
+ returned from a long drive, during which they had visited a Villa
+ with the thought of purchase. On their return they were told that
+ their patient had been better that afternoon than for three months.
+ Yet it was only a few hours later that she left them, so suddenly
+ and quietly that even those near her did not at first realize that
+ she was gone.
+
+
+ To W. D. Howells, in New York.
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ June 6, '94. [1904]
+DEAR HOWELLS,--Last night at 9.20 I entered Mrs. Clemens's room to say
+the usual goodnight--and she was dead--tho' no one knew it. She had been
+cheerfully talking, a moment before. She was sitting up in bed--she had
+not lain down for months--and Katie and the nurse were supporting her.
+They supposed she had fainted, and they were holding the oxygen pipe to
+her mouth, expecting to revive her. I bent over her and looked in her
+face, and I think I spoke--I was surprised and troubled that she did not
+notice me. Then we understood, and our hearts broke. How poor we are
+today!
+
+But how thankful I am that her persecutions are ended. I would not call
+her back if I could.
+
+Today, treasured in her worn old Testament, I found a dear and gentle
+letter from you, dated Far Rockaway, Sept. 13, 1896, about our poor
+Susy's death. I am tired and old; I wish I were with Livy.
+
+I send my love-and hers-to you all.
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+ In a letter to Twichell he wrote: "How sweet she was in death; how
+ young, how beautiful, how like her dear, girlish self cf thirty
+ years ago; not a gray hair showing."
+
+ The family was now without plans for the future until they
+ remembered the summer home of R. W. Gilder, at Tyringham,
+ Massachusetts, and the possibility of finding lodgment for
+ themselves in that secluded corner of New England. Clemens wrote
+ without delay, as follows:
+
+
+ To R. W. Gilder, in New York:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ June 7, '04.
+DEAR GILDER FAMILY,--I have been worrying and worrying to know what to
+do: at last I went to the girls with an idea: to ask the Gilders to get
+us shelter near their summer home. It was the first time they have not
+shaken their heads. So to-morrow I will cable to you and shall hope to
+be in time.
+
+An, hour ago the best heart that ever beat for me and mine went silent
+out of this house, and I am as one who wanders and has lost his way. She
+who is gone was our head, she was our hands. We are now trying to make
+plans--we: we who have never made a plan before, nor ever needed to. If
+she could speak to us she would make it all simple and easy with a word,
+and our perplexities would vanish away. If she had known she was near to
+death she would have told us where to go and what to do: but she was not
+suspecting, neither were we. (She had been chatting cheerfully a moment
+before, and in an instant she was gone from us and we did not know it.
+We were not alarmed, we did not know anything had happened. It was a
+blessed death--she passed away without knowing it.) She was all our
+riches and she is gone: she was our breath, she was our life and now we
+are nothing.
+
+We send you our love--and with it the love of you that was in her heart
+when she died.
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ Howells wrote his words of sympathy, adding: "The character which
+ now remains a memory was one of the most perfect ever formed on the
+ earth," and again, after having received Clemens's letter: "I cannot
+ speak of your wife's having kept that letter of mine where she did.
+ You know how it must humiliate a man in his unworthiness to have
+ anything of his so consecrated. She hallowed what she touched, far
+ beyond priests."
+
+
+ To W. D. Howells, in New York:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, '04.
+ June 12, 6 p. m.
+DEAR HOWELLS,--We have to sit and hold our hands and wait--in the silence
+and solitude of this prodigious house; wait until June 25, then we go to
+Naples and sail in the Prince Oscar the 26th. There is a ship 12 days
+earlier (but we came in that one.) I see Clara twice a day--morning and
+evening--greeting--nothing more is allowed. She keeps her bed, and says
+nothing. She has not cried yet. I wish she could cry. It would break
+Livy's heart to see Clara. We excuse ourselves from all the friends that
+call--though of course only intimates come. Intimates--but they are not
+the old old friends, the friends of the old, old times when we laughed.
+
+Shall we ever laugh again? If I could only see a dog that I knew in the
+old times! and could put my arms around his neck and tell him all,
+everything, and ease my heart.
+
+Think-in 3 hours it will be a week!--and soon a month; and by and by a
+year. How fast our dead fly from us.
+
+She loved you so, and was always as pleased as a child with any notice
+you took of her.
+
+Soon your wife will be with you, oh fortunate man! And John, whom mine
+was so fond of. The sight of him was such a delight to her. Lord, the
+old friends, how dear they are.
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. R. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ June 18, '04.
+DEAR JOE,--It is 13 days. I am bewildered and must remain so for a time
+longer. It was so sudden, so unexpected. Imagine a man worth a hundred
+millions who finds himself suddenly penniless and fifty million in debt
+in his old age.
+
+I was richer than any other person in the world, and now I am that pauper
+without peer. Some day I will tell you about it, not now.
+ MARK.
+
+
+ A tide of condolence flowed in from all parts of the world. It was
+ impossible to answer all. Only a few who had been their closest
+ friends received a written line, but the little printed
+ acknowledgment which was returned was no mere formality. It was a
+ heartfelt, personal word.
+
+ They arrived in America in July, and were accompanied by Twichell to
+ Elmira, and on the 14th Mrs. Clemens was laid to rest by the side of
+ Susy and little Langdon. R. W. Gilder had arranged for them to
+ occupy, for the summer, a cottage on his place at Tyringham, in the
+ Berkshire Hills. By November they were at the Grosvenor, in New
+ York, preparing to establish themselves in a house which they had
+ taken on the corner of Ninth Street and Fifth Avenue--Number 21.
+
+
+ To F. N. Doubleday, in New York:
+
+DEAR DOUBLEDAY,--I did not know you were going to England: I would have
+freighted you with such messages of homage and affection to Kipling.
+And I would have pressed his hand, through you, for his sympathy with
+me in my crushing loss, as expressed by him in his letter to Gilder.
+You know my feeling for Kipling and that it antedates that expression.
+
+I was glad that the boys came here to invite me to the house-warming and
+I think they understood why a man in the shadow of a calamity like mine
+could not go.
+
+It has taken three months to repair and renovate our house--corner of 9th
+and 5th Avenue, but I shall be in it in io or 15 days hence. Much of the
+furniture went into it today (from Hartford). We have not seen it for 13
+years. Katy Leary, our old housekeeper, who has been in our service more
+than 24 years, cried when she told me about it to-day. She said "I had
+forgotten it was so beautiful, and it brought Mrs. Clemens right back to
+me--in that old time when she was so young and lovely."
+
+Jean and my secretary and the servants whom we brought from Italy because
+Mrs. Clemens liked them so well, are still keeping house in the Berkshire
+hills--and waiting. Clara (nervously wrecked by her mother's death) is
+in the hands of a specialist in 69th St., and I shall not be allowed to
+have any communication with her--even telephone--for a year. I am in
+this comfortable little hotel, and still in bed--for I dasn't budge till
+I'm safe from my pet devil, bronchitis.
+
+Isn't it pathetic? One hour and ten minutes before Mrs. Clemens died I
+was saying to her "To-day, after five months search, I've found the villa
+that will content you: to-morrow you will examine the plans and give it
+your consent and I will buy it." Her eyes danced with pleasure, for she
+longed for a home of her own. And there, on that morrow, she lay white
+and cold. And unresponsive to my reverent caresses--a new thing to me
+and a new thing to her; that had not happened before in five and thirty
+years.
+
+I am coming to see you and Mrs. Doubleday by and bye. She loved and
+honored Mrs. Doubleday and her work.
+ Always yours,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ It was a presidential year and the air was thick with politics.
+ Mark Twain was no longer actively interested in the political
+ situation; he was only disheartened by the hollowness and pretense
+ of office-seeking, and the methods of office-seekers in general.
+ Grieved that Twichell should still pin his faith to any party when
+ all parties were so obviously venal and time-serving, he wrote in
+ outspoken and rather somber protest.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ THE GROSVENOR, Nov. 4, '04.
+Oh, dear! get out of that sewer--party politics--dear Joe. At least
+with your mouth. We hail only two men who could make speeches for their
+parties and preserve their honor and their dignity. One of them is dead.
+Possibly there were four. I am sorry for John Hay; sorry and ashamed.
+And yet I know he couldn't help it. He wears the collar, and he had to
+pay the penalty. Certainly he had no more desire to stand up before a
+mob of confiding human incapables and debauch them than you had.
+Certainly he took no more real pleasure in distorting history, concealing
+facts, propagating immoralities, and appealing to the sordid side of
+human nature than did you; but he was his party's property, and he had to
+climb away down and do it.
+
+It is interesting, wonderfully interesting--the miracles which party-
+politics can do with a man's mental and moral make-up. Look at McKinley,
+Roosevelt, and yourself: in private life spotless in character;
+honorable, honest, just, humane, generous; scorning trickeries,
+treacheries, suppressions of the truth, mistranslations of the meanings
+of facts, the filching of credit earned by another, the condoning of
+crime, the glorifying of base acts: in public political life the reverse
+of all this.
+
+McKinley was a silverite--you concealed it. Roosevelt was a silverite--
+you concealed it. Parker was a silverite--you publish it. Along with a
+shudder and a warning: "He was unsafe then. Is he any safer now?"
+
+Joe, even I could be guilty of such a thing as that--if I were in party-
+politics; I really believe it.
+
+Mr. Cleveland gave the country the gold standard; by implication you
+credit the matter to the Republican party.
+
+By implication you prove the whole annual pension-scoop, concealing the
+fact that the bulk of the money goes to people who in no way deserve it.
+You imply that all the batteners upon this bribery-fund are Republicans.
+An indiscreet confession, since about half of them must have been
+Democrats before they were bought.
+
+You as good as praise Order 78. It is true you do not shout, and you do
+not linger, you only whisper and skip--still, what little you do in the
+matter is complimentary to the crime.
+
+It means, if it means anything, that our outlying properties will all be
+given up by the Democrats, and our flag hauled down. All of them? Not
+only the properties stolen by Mr. McKinley and Mr. Roosevelt, but the
+properties honestly acquired? Joe, did you believe that hardy statement
+when you made it? Yet you made it, and there it stands in permanent
+print. Now what moral law would suffer if we should give up the stolen
+ones? But--
+
+"You know our standard-bearer. He will maintain all that we have
+gained"--by whatever process. Land, I believe you!
+
+By George, Joe, you are as handy at the game as if you had been in
+training for it all your life. Your campaign Address is built from the
+ground up upon the oldest and best models. There isn't a paragraph in it
+whose facts or morals will wash--not even a sentence, I believe.
+
+But you will soon be out of this. You didn't want to do it--that is
+sufficiently apparent, thanks be!--but you couldn't well get out of it.
+In a few days you will be out of it, and then you can fumigate yourself
+and take up your legitimate work again and resume your clean and
+wholesome private character once more and be happy--and useful.
+
+I know I ought to hand you some guff, now, as propitiation and apology
+for these reproaches, but on the whole I believe I won't.
+
+I have inquired, and find that Mitsikuri does not arrive here until to-
+morrow night. I shall watch out, and telephone again, for I greatly want
+to see him.
+ Always Yours,
+ MARK.
+
+P-S- Nov, 4. I wish I could learn to remember that it is unjust and
+dishonorable to put blame upon the human race for any of its acts. For
+it did not make itself, it did not make its nature, it is merely a
+machine, it is moved wholly by outside influences, it has no hand in
+creating the outside influences nor in choosing which of them it will
+welcome or reject, its performance is wholly automatic, it has no more
+mastership nor authority over its mind than it has over its stomach,
+which receives material from the outside and does as it pleases with it,
+indifferent to it's proprietor's suggestions, even, let alone his
+commands; wherefore, whatever the machine does--so called crimes and
+infamies included--is the personal act of its Maker, and He, solely, is
+responsible. I wish I could learn to pity the human race instead of
+censuring it and laughing at it; and I could, if the outside influences
+of old habit were not so strong upon my machine. It vexes me to catch
+myself praising the clean private citizen Roosevelt, and blaming the
+soiled President Roosevelt, when I know that neither praise nor blame is
+due to him for any thought or word or deed of his, he being merely a
+helpless and irresponsible coffee-mill ground by the hand of God.
+
+ Through a misunderstanding, Clemens, something more than a year
+ earlier, had severed his connection with the Players' Club, of which
+ he had been one of the charter members. Now, upon his return to New
+ York, a number of his friends joined in an invitation to him to
+ return. It was not exactly a letter they sent, but a bit of an old
+ Scotch song--
+
+ "To Mark Twain
+ from
+ The Clansmen.
+ Will ye no come back again,
+ Will ye no come back again?
+ Better lo'ed ye canna be.
+ Will ye no come back again?"
+
+ Those who signed it were David Monroe, of the North American Review;
+ Robert Reid, the painter, and about thirty others of the Round Table
+ Group, so called because its members were accustomed to lunching at
+ a large round table in a bay window of the Player dining-room. Mark
+ Twain's reply was prompt and heartfelt. He wrote:
+
+
+ To Robt. Reid and the Others:
+
+WELL-BELOVED,--Surely those lovely verses went to Prince Charley's heart,
+if he had one, and certainly they have gone to mine. I shall be glad and
+proud to come back again after such a moving and beautiful compliment as
+this from comrades whom I have loved so long. I hope you can poll the
+necessary vote; I know you will try, at any rate. It will be many months
+before I can foregather with you, for this black border is not
+perfunctory, not a convention; it symbolizes the loss of one whose memory
+is the only thing I worship.
+
+It is not necessary for me to thank you--and words could not deliver what
+I feel, anyway. I will put the contents of your envelope in the small
+casket where I keep the things which have become sacred to me.
+
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+A year later, Mark Twain did "come back again," as an honorary life
+member, and was given a dinner of welcome by those who had signed the
+lines urging his return.
+
+
+
+
+XLIV
+
+LETTERS OF 1905. TO TWICHELL, MR. DUNEKA AND OTHERS.
+POLITICS AND HUMANITY. A SUMMER AT DUBLIN. MARK TWAIN AT 70
+
+ In 1884 Mark Twain had abandoned the Republican Party to vote for
+ Cleveland. He believed the party had become corrupt, and to his
+ last day it was hard for him to see anything good in Republican
+ policies or performance. He was a personal friend of Thedore
+ Roosevelt's but, as we have seen in a former letter, Roosevelt the
+ politician rarely found favor in his eyes. With or without
+ justification, most of the President's political acts invited his
+ caustic sarcasm and unsparing condemnation. Another letter to
+ Twichell of this time affords a fair example.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ Feb. 16, '05.
+DEAR JOE,--I knew I had in me somewhere a definite feeling about the
+President if I could only find the words to define it with. Here they
+are, to a hair--from Leonard Jerome: "For twenty years I have loved
+Roosevelt the man and hated Roosevelt the statesman and politician."
+
+It's mighty good. Every time, in 25 years, that I have met Roosevelt the
+man, a wave of welcome has streaked through me with the hand-grip;
+but whenever (as a rule) I meet Roosevelt the statesman and politician,
+I find him destitute of morals and not respectworthy. It is plain that
+where his political self and his party self are concerned he has nothing
+resembling a conscience; that under those inspirations he is naively
+indifferent to the restraints of duty and even unaware of them; ready to
+kick the Constitution into the back yard whenever it gets in the way; and
+whenever he smells a vote, not only willing but eager to buy it, give
+extravagant rates for it and pay the bill not out of his own pocket or
+the party's, but out of the nation's, by cold pillage. As per Order 78
+and the appropriation of the Indian trust funds.
+
+But Roosevelt is excusable--I recognize it and (ought to) concede it.
+We are all insane, each in his own way, and with insanity goes
+irresponsibility. Theodore the man is sane; in fairness we ought to keep
+in mind that Theodore, as statesman arid politician, is insane and
+irresponsible.
+
+Do not throw these enlightenments aside, but study them, let them raise
+you to higher planes and make you better. You taught me in my callow
+days, let me pay back the debt now in my old age out of a thesaurus with
+wisdom smelted from the golden ores of experience.
+ Ever yours for sweetness and light
+ MARK.
+
+
+ The next letter to Twichell takes up politics and humanity in
+ general, in a manner complimentary to neither. Mark Twain was never
+ really a pessimist, but he had pessimistic intervals, such as come
+ to most of us in life's later years, and at such times he let
+ himself go without stint concerning "the damned human race," as he
+ called it, usually with a manifest sense of indignation that he
+ should be a member of it. In much of his later writing--
+ A Mysterious Stranger for example--he said his say with but small
+ restraint, and certainly in his purely intellectual moments he was
+ likely to be a pessimist of the most extreme type, capably damning
+ the race and the inventor of it. Yet, at heart, no man loved his
+ kind more genuinely, or with deeper compassion, than Mark Twain,
+ perhaps for its very weaknesses. It was only that he had intervals
+ --frequent intervals, and rather long ones--when he did not admire
+ it, and was still more doubtful as to the ways of providence.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ March 14, '05.
+DEAR JOE,--I have a Puddn'head maxim:
+
+"When a man is a pessimist before 48 he knows too much; if he is an
+optimist after it, he knows too little."
+
+It is with contentment, therefore, that I reflect that I am better and
+wiser than you. Joe, you seem to be dealing in "bulks," now; the "bulk"
+of the farmers and U. S. Senators are "honest." As regards purchase and
+sale with money? Who doubts it? Is that the only measure of honesty?
+Aren't there a dozen kinds of honesty which can't be measured by the
+money-standard? Treason is treason--and there's more than one form of
+it; the money-form is but one of them. When a person is disloyal to any
+confessed duty, he is plainly and simply dishonest, and knows it; knows
+it, and is privately troubled about it and not proud of himself. Judged
+by this standard--and who will challenge the validity of it?--there isn't
+an honest man in Connecticut, nor in the Senate, nor anywhere else. I do
+not even except myself, this time.
+
+Am I finding fault with you and the rest of the populace? No--I assure
+you I am not. For I know the human race's limitations, and this makes it
+my duty--my pleasant duty--to be fair to it. Each person in it is honest
+in one or several ways, but no member of it is honest in all the ways
+required by--by what? By his own standard. Outside of that, as I look
+at it, there is no obligation upon him.
+
+Am I honest? I give you my word of honor (private) I am not. For seven
+years I have suppressed a book which my conscience tells me I ought to
+publish. I hold it a duty to publish it. There are other difficult
+duties which I am equal to, but I am not equal to that one. Yes, even I
+am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is.
+We are certainly all honest in one or several ways--every man in the
+world--though I have reason to think I am the only one whose black-list
+runs so light. Sometimes I feel lonely enough in this lofty solitude.
+
+Yes, oh, yes, I am not overlooking the "steady progress from age to age
+of the coming of the kingdom of God and righteousness." "From age to
+age"--yes, it describes that giddy gait. I (and the rocks) will not live
+to see it arrive, but that is all right--it will arrive, it surely will.
+But you ought not to be always ironically apologizing for the Deity. If
+that thing is going to arrive, it is inferable that He wants it to
+arrive; and so it is not quite kind of you, and it hurts me, to see you
+flinging sarcasms at the gait of it. And yet it would not be fair in me
+not to admit that the sarcasms are deserved. When the Deity wants a
+thing, and after working at it for "ages and ages" can't show even a
+shade of progress toward its accomplishment, we--well, we don't laugh,
+but it is only because we dasn't. The source of "righteousness"--is in
+the heart? Yes. And engineered and directed by the brain? Yes. Well,
+history and tradition testify that the heart is just about what it was in
+the beginning; it has undergone no shade of change. Its good and evil
+impulses and their consequences are the same today that they were in Old
+Bible times, in Egyptian times, in Greek times, in Middle Age times, in
+Twentieth Century times. There has been no change.
+
+Meantime, the brain has undergone no change. It is what it always was.
+There are a few good brains and a multitude of poor ones. It was so in
+Old Bible times and in all other times--Greek, Roman, Middle Ages and
+Twentieth Century. Among the savages--all the savages--the average brain
+is as competent as the average brain here or elsewhere. I will prove it
+to you, some time, if you like. And there are great brains among them,
+too. I will prove that also, if you like.
+
+Well, the 19th century made progress--the first progress after "ages and
+ages"--colossal progress. In what? Materialities. Prodigious
+acquisitions were made in things which add to the comfort of many and
+make life harder for as many more. But the addition to righteousness?
+Is that discoverable? I think not. The materialities were not invented
+in the interest of righteousness; that there is more righteousness in the
+world because of them than there, was before, is hardly demonstrable, I
+think. In Europe and America, there is a vast change (due to them) in
+ideals--do you admire it? All Europe and all America, are feverishly
+scrambling for money. Money is the supreme ideal--all others take tenth
+place with the great bulk of the nations named. Money-lust has always
+existed, but not in the history of the world was it ever a craze, a
+madness, until your time and mine. This lust has rotted these nations;
+it has made them hard, sordid, ungentle, dishonest, oppressive.
+
+Did England rise against the infamy of the Boer war? No--rose in favor
+of it. Did America rise against the infamy of the Phillipine war? No--
+rose in favor of it. Did Russia rise against the infamy of the present
+war? No--sat still and said nothing. Has the Kingdom of God advanced in
+Russia since the beginning of time?
+
+Or in Europe and America, considering the vast backward step of the
+money-lust? Or anywhere else? If there has been any progress toward
+righteousness since the early days of Creation--which, in my ineradicable
+honesty, I am obliged to doubt--I think we must confine it to ten per
+cent of the populations of Christendom, (but leaving, Russia, Spain and
+South America entirely out.) This gives us 320,000,000 to draw the ten
+per cent from. That is to say, 32,000,000 have advanced toward
+righteousness and the Kingdom of God since the "ages and ages" have been
+flying along, the Deity sitting up there admiring. Well, you see it
+leaves 1,200,000,000 out of the race. They stand just where they have
+always stood; there has been no change.
+
+N. B. No charge for these informations. Do come down soon, Joe.
+ With love,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ St. Clair McKelway, of The Brooklyn Eagle, narrowly escaped injuries
+ in a railway accident, and received the following. Clemens and
+ McKelway were old friends.
+
+
+ To St. Clair McKelway, in Brooklyn:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVE. Sunday Morning.
+ April 30, 1905.
+DEAR McKELWAY, Your innumerable friends are grateful, most grateful.
+
+As I understand the telegrams, the engineer of your train had never seen
+a locomotive before. Very well, then, I am once more glad that there is
+an Ever-watchful Providence to foresee possible results and send Ogdens
+and McIntyres along to save our friends.
+
+The Government's Official report, showing that our railways killed twelve
+hundred persons last year and injured sixty thousand convinces me that
+under present conditions one Providence is not enough to properly and
+efficiently take care of our railroad business. But it is
+characteristically American--always trying to get along short-handed and
+save wages.
+
+I am helping your family congratulate themselves, and am your friend as
+always.
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ Clemens did not spend any more summers at Quarry Farm. All its
+ associations were beautiful and tender, but they could only sadden
+ him. The life there had been as of another world, sunlit, idyllic,
+ now forever vanished. For the summer of 1905 he leased the Copley
+ Green house at Dublin, New Hampshire, where there was a Boston
+ colony of writing and artistic folk, including many of his long-time
+ friends. Among them was Colonel Thomas Wentworth Higginson, who
+ wrote a hearty letter of welcome when he heard the news. Clemens
+ replied in kind.
+
+
+ To Col. Thomas Wentworth Higginson, in Boston:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVE. Sunday, March 26, z9o.5.
+DEAR COL. HIGGINSON,--I early learned that you would be my neighbor in
+the Summer and I rejoiced, recognizing in you and your family a large
+asset. I hope for frequent intercourse between the two households. I
+shall have my youngest daughter with me. The other one will go from the
+rest-cure in this city to the rest-cure in Norfolk Conn and we shall not
+see her before autumn. We have not seen her since the middle of October.
+
+Jean (the youngest daughter) went to Dublin and saw the house and came
+back charmed with it. I know the Thayers of old--manifestly there is no
+lack of attractions up there. Mrs. Thayer and I were shipmates in a wild
+excursion perilously near 40 years ago.
+
+You say you "send with this" the story. Then it should be here but it
+isn't, when I send a thing with another thing, the other thing goes but
+the thing doesn't, I find it later--still on the premises. Will you look
+it up now and send it?
+
+Aldrich was here half an hour ago, like a breeze from over the fields,
+with the fragrance still upon his spirit. I am tired of waiting for that
+man to get old.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+ Mark Twain was in his seventieth year, old neither in mind nor body,
+ but willing to take life more quietly, to refrain from travel and
+ gay events. A sort of pioneers' reunion was to be held on the
+ Pacific Coast, and a letter from Robert Fulton, of Reno, Nevada,
+ invited Clemens to attend. He did not go, but he sent a letter that
+ we may believe was the next best thing to those who heard it read.
+
+
+ To Robert Fulton, in Reno, Nevada:
+
+ IN THE MOUNTAINS,
+ May 24, 1905.
+DEAR MR. FULTON,--I remember, as if it were yesterday, that when I
+disembarked from the overland stage in front of the Ormsby in Carson City
+in August, 1861, I was not expecting to be asked to come again. I was
+tired, discouraged, white with alkali dust, and did not know anybody; and
+if you had said then, "Cheer up, desolate stranger, don't be down-
+hearted--pass on, and come again in 1905," you cannot think how grateful
+I would have been and how gladly I would have closed the contract.
+Although I was not expecting to be invited, I was watching out for it,
+and was hurt and disappointed when you started to ask me and changed it
+to, "How soon are you going away?"
+
+But you have made it all right, now, the wound is closed. And so I thank
+you sincerely for the invitation; and with you, all Reno, and if I were a
+few years younger I would accept it, and promptly. I would go. I would
+let somebody else do the oration, but, as for me, I would talk--
+just talk. I would renew my youth; and talk--and talk--and talk
+--and have the time of my life! I would march the unforgotten and
+unforgettable antiques by, and name their names, and give them reverent
+Hailand-farewell as they passed: Goodman, McCarthy, Gillis, Curry,
+Baldwin, Winters, Howard, Nye, Stewart; Neely Johnson, Hal Clayton,
+North, Root,--and my brother, upon whom be peace!--and then the
+desperadoes, who made life a joy and the "Slaughter-house" a precious
+possession: Sam Brown, Farmer Pete, Bill Mayfield, Six-fingered Jake,
+Jack Williams and the rest of the crimson discipleship--and so on and so
+on. Believe me, I would start a resurrection it would do you more good
+to look at than the next one will, if you go on the way you are doing
+now.
+
+Those were the days! those old ones. They will come no more. Youth will
+come no more. They were so full to the brim with the wine of life; there
+have been no others like them. It chokes me up to think of them. Would
+you like me to come out there and cry? It would not beseem my white
+head.
+
+Good-bye. I drink to you all. Have a good time--and take an old man's
+blessing.
+ MARK TWAIN.
+
+
+ A few days later he was writing to H. H. Bancroft, of San Francisco,
+ who had invited him for a visit in event of his coming to the Coast.
+ Henry James had just been there for a week and it was hoped that
+ Howells would soon follow.
+
+
+ To H. H. Bancroft, in San Francisco:
+
+ UP IN NEW HAMPSHIRE,
+ May 27, 1905.
+DEAR MR. BANCROFT,--I thank you sincerely for the tempting hospitalities
+which you offer me, but I have to deny myself, for my wandering days are
+over, and it is my desire and purpose to sit by the fire the rest of my
+remnant of life and indulge myself with the pleasure and repose of work
+--work uninterrupted and unmarred by duties or excursions.
+
+A man who like me, is going to strike 70 on the 30th of next November has
+no business to be flitting around the way Howells does--that shameless
+old fictitious butter fly. (But if he comes, don't tell him I said it,
+for it would hurt him and I wouldn't brush a flake of powder from his
+wing for anything. I only say it in envy of his indestructible youth,
+anyway. Howells will be 88 in October.) With thanks again,
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+ Clemens found that the air of the New Hampshire hills agreed with
+ him and stimulated him to work. He began an entirely new version of
+ The Mysterious Stranger, of which he already had a bulky and nearly
+ finished manuscript, written in Vienna. He wrote several hundred
+ pages of an extravaganza entitled, Three Thousand Years Among the
+ Microbes, and then, having got his superabundant vitality reduced
+ (it was likely to expend itself in these weird mental exploits),
+ he settled down one day and wrote that really tender and beautiful
+ idyl, Eve's Diary, which he had begun, or at least planned, the
+ previous summer at Tyringham. In a letter to Mr. Frederick A.
+ Duneka, general manager of Harper & Brothers, he tells something of
+ the manner of the story; also his revised opinion of Adam's Diary,
+ written in '93, and originally published as a souvenir of Niagara
+ Falls.
+
+
+ To Frederick A. Duneka, in New York:
+
+ DUBLIN, July 16, '05.
+DEAR MR. DUNEKA,--I wrote Eve's Diary, she using Adam's Diary as her
+(unwitting and unconscious) text, of course, since to use any other text
+would have been an imbecility--then I took Adam's Diary and read it. It
+turned my stomach. It was not literature; yet it had been literature
+once--before I sold it to be degraded to an advertisement of the Buffalo
+Fair. I was going to write and ask you to melt the plates and put it out
+of print.
+
+But this morning I examined it without temper, and saw that if I
+abolished the advertisement it would be literature again.
+
+So I have done it. I have struck out 700 words and inserted 5 MS pages
+of new matter (650 words), and now Adam's Diary is dam good--sixty times
+as good as it ever was before.
+
+I believe it is as good as Eve's Diary now--no, it's not quite that good,
+I guess, but it is good enough to go in the same cover with Eve's. I'm
+sure of that.
+
+I hate to have the old Adam go out any more--don't put it on the presses
+again, let's put the new one in place of it; and next Xmas, let us bind
+Adam and Eve in one cover. They score points against each other--so, if
+not bound together, some of the points would not be perceived.....
+
+P. S. Please send another Adam's Diary, so that I can make 2 revised
+copies. Eve's Diary is Eve's love-Story, but we will not name it that.
+ Yrs ever,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ The peace-making at Portsmouth between Japan and Russia was not
+ satisfactory to Mark Twain, who had fondly hoped there would be no
+ peace until, as he said, "Russian liberty was safe. One more battle
+ would have abolished the waiting chains of millions upon millions of
+ unborn Russians and I wish it could have been fought." He set down
+ an expression of his feelings for the Associated Press, and it
+ invited many letters. Charles Francis Adams wrote, "It attracted my
+ attention because it so exactly expresses the views I have myself
+ all along entertained."
+
+ Clemens was invited by Colonel George Harvey to dine with the
+ Russian emissaries, Baron Rosen and Sergius Witte. He declined, but
+ his telegram so pleased Witte that he asked permission to publish
+ it, and announced that he would show it to the Czar.
+
+
+ Telegram. To Col. George Harvey, in New York:
+
+TO COLONEL HARVEY,--I am still a cripple, otherwise I should be more than
+glad of this opportunity to meet the illustrious magicians who came here
+equipped with nothing but a pen, and with it have divided the honors of
+the war with the sword. It is fair to presume that in thirty centuries
+history will not get done admiring these men who attempted what the world
+regarded as impossible and achieved it.
+
+ Witte would not have cared to show the Czar the telegram in its
+ original form, which follows.
+
+
+ Telegram (unsent). To Col. George Harvey, in New York:
+
+TO COLONEL HARVEY,--I am still a cripple, otherwise I should be more than
+glad of this opportunity to meet those illustrious magicians who with the
+pen have annulled, obliterated, and abolished every high achievement of
+the Japanese sword and turned the tragedy of a tremendous war into a gay
+and blithesome comedy. If I may, let me in all respect and honor salute
+them as my fellow-humorists, I taking third place, as becomes one who was
+not born to modesty, but by diligence and hard work is acquiring it.
+ MARK.
+
+ Nor still another unsent form, perhaps more characteristic than
+ either of the foregoing.
+
+ Telegram (unsent). To Col. George Harvey, in New York:
+
+DEAR COLONEL,--No, this is a love-feast; when you call a lodge of sorrow
+send for me.
+ MARK.
+
+
+ To Mrs. Crane, Quarry Farm:
+
+ DUBLIN, Sept. 24, '05.
+Susy dear, I have had a lovely dream. Livy, dressed in black, was
+sitting up in my bed (here) at my right and looking as young and sweet as
+she used to do when she was in health. She said: "what is the name of
+your sweet sister?" I said, "Pamela." "Oh, yes, that is it, I thought
+it was--(naming a name which has escaped me) "Won't you write it down for
+me?" I reached eagerly for a pen and pad--laid my hands upon both--then
+said to myself, " It is only a dream," and turned back sorrowfully and
+there she was, still. The conviction flamed through me that our lamented
+disaster was a dream, and this a reality. I said, "How blessed it is,
+how blessed it is, it was all a dream, only a dream!" She only smiled
+and did not ask what dream I meant, which surprised me. She leaned her
+head against mine and I kept saying, "I was perfectly sure it was a
+dream, I never would have believed it wasn't."
+
+I think she said several things, but if so they are gone from my memory.
+I woke and did not know I had been dreaming. She was gone. I wondered
+how she could go without my knowing it, but I did not spend any thought
+upon that, I was too busy thinking of how vivid and real was the dream
+that we had lost her and how unspeakably blessed it was to find that it
+was not true and that she was still ours and with us.
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+ One day that summer Mark Twain received a letter from the actress,
+ Minnie Maddern Fiske, asking him to write something that would aid
+ her in her crusade against bull-fighting. The idea appealed to him;
+ he replied at once.
+
+
+ To Mrs. Fiske:
+
+DEAR MRS. FISKE,--I shall certainly write the story. But I may not get
+it to suit me, in which case it will go in the fire. Later I will try
+again--and yet again--and again. I am used to this. It has taken me
+twelve years to write a short story--the shortest one I ever wrote, I
+think. --[Probably "The Death Disk."]-- So do not be discouraged; I will
+stick to this one in the same way. Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ He did not delay in his beginning, and a few weeks later was sending
+ word to his publisher about it.
+
+
+ To Frederick A. Duneka, in New York:
+
+ Oct. 2, '05.
+DEAR MR. DUNEKA,--I have just finished a short story which I "greatly
+admire," and so will you--"A Horse's Tale"--about 15,000 words, at a
+rough guess. It has good fun in it, and several characters, and is
+lively. I shall finish revising it in a few days or more, then Jean will
+type it.
+
+Don't you think you can get it into the Jan. and Feb. numbers and issue
+it as a dollar booklet just after the middle of Jan. when you issue the
+Feb. number?
+
+It ought to be ably illustrated.
+
+Why not sell simultaneous rights, for this once, to the Ladies' Home
+Journal or Collier's, or both, and recoup yourself?--for I would like to
+get it to classes that can't afford Harper's. Although it doesn't
+preach, there's a sermon concealed in it.
+ Yr sincerely,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ Five days later he added some rather interesting facts concerning
+ the new story.
+
+
+ To F. A. Duneka, in New York:
+
+ Oct. 7, 1906. ['05]
+DEAR MR. DUNEKA,--..... I've made a poor guess as to number of words.
+I think there must be 20,000. My usual page of MS. contains about 130
+words; but when I am deeply interested in my work and dead to everything
+else, my hand-writing shrinks and shrinks until there's a great deal more
+than 130 on a page--oh, yes, a deal more. Well, I discover, this
+morning, that this tale is written in that small hand.
+
+This strong interest is natural, for the heroine is my daughter, Susy,
+whom we lost. It was not intentional--it was a good while before I found
+it out.
+
+So I am sending you her picture to use--and to reproduce with
+photographic exactness the unsurpassable expression and all. May you
+find an artist who has lost an idol!
+
+Take as good care of the picture as you can and restore it to me when I
+come.
+
+I hope you will illustrate this tale considerably. Not humorous
+pictures. No. When they are good (or bad) one's humor gets no chance to
+play surprises on the reader. A humorous subject illustrated seriously
+is all right, but a humorous artist is no fit person for such work. You
+see, the humorous writer pretends to absolute seriousness (when he knows
+his trade) then for an artist--to step in and give his calculated gravity
+all away with a funny picture--oh, my land! It gives me the dry gripes
+just to think of it. It would be just about up to the average comic
+artist's intellectual level to make a funny picture of the horse kicking
+the lungs out of a trader. Hang it, the remark is funny--because the
+horse is not aware of it but the fact is not humorous, it is tragic and
+it is no subject for a humorous picture.
+
+Could I be allowed to sit in judgment upon the pictures before they are
+accepted--at least those in which Cathy may figure?
+
+This is not essential. It is but a suggestion, and it is hereby
+withdrawn, if it would be troublesome or cause delay.
+
+I hope you will reproduce the cat-pile, full page. And save the photo
+for me in as good condition as possible. When Susy and Clara were little
+tots those cats had their profoundest worship, and there is no duplicate
+of this picture. These cats all had thundering names, or inappropriate
+ones--furnished by the children with my help. One was named Buffalo
+Bill.
+
+Are you interested in coincidences?
+
+After discovering, about the middle of the book, that Cathy was Susy
+Clemens, I put her picture with my MS., to be reproduced. After the book
+was finished it was discovered that Susy had a dim model of Soldier Boy
+in her arms; I had forgotten all about that toy.
+
+Then I examined the cat-picture and laid it with the MS. for
+introduction; but it was not until yesterday that I remembered that one
+of the cats was named Buffalo Bill.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ The reference in this letter to shrinkage of his hand-writing with
+ the increasing intensity of his interest, and the consequent
+ addition of the number of words to the page, recalls another fact,
+ noted by Mr. Duneka, viz.: that because of his terse Anglo-Saxon
+ diction, Mark Twain could put more words on a magazine page than any
+ other writer. It is hardly necessary to add that he got more force
+ into what he put on the page for the same reason.
+
+ There was always a run of reporters at Mark Twain's New York home.
+ His opinion was sought for on every matter of public interest, and
+ whatever happened to him in particular was considered good for at
+ least half a column of copy, with his name as a catch-line at the
+ top. When it was learned that he was to spend the summer in New
+ Hampshire, the reporters had all wanted to find out about it. Now
+ that the summer was ending, they began to want to know how he had
+ liked it, what work he had done and what were his plans for another
+ year. As they frequently applied to his publishers for these
+ details it was finally suggested to him that he write a letter
+ furnishing the required information. His reply, handed to Mr.
+ Duneka, who was visiting him at the moment, is full of interest.
+
+
+ Mem. for Mr. Duneka:
+
+ DUBLIN, Oct. 9, 1905.
+.....As to the other matters, here are the details.
+
+Yes, I have tried a number of summer homes, here and in Europe together.
+
+Each of these homes had charms of its own; charms and delights of its
+own, and some of them--even in Europe had comforts. Several of them had
+conveniences, too. They all had a "view."
+
+It is my conviction that there should always be some water in a view--
+a lake or a river, but not the ocean, if you are down on its level. I
+think that when you are down on its level it seldom inflames you with an
+ecstasy which you could not get out of a sand-flat. It is like being on
+board ship, over again; indeed it is worse than that, for there's three
+months of it. On board ship one tires of the aspects in a couple of
+days, and quits looking. The same vast circle of heaving humps is spread
+around you all the time, with you in the centre of it and never gaining
+an inch on the horizon, so far as you can see; for variety, a flight of
+flying-fish, mornings; a flock of porpoises throwing summersaults
+afternoons; a remote whale spouting, Sundays; occasional phosphorescent
+effects, nights; every other day a streak of black smoke trailing along
+under the horizon; on the one single red letter day, the illustrious
+iceberg. I have seen that iceberg thirty-four times in thirty-seven
+voyages; it is always the same shape, it is always the same size, it
+always throws up the same old flash when the sun strikes it; you may set
+it on any New York door-step of a June morning and light it up with a
+mirror-flash; and I will engage to recognize it. It is artificial, and
+it is provided and anchored out by the steamer companies. I used to like
+the sea, but I was young then, and could easily get excited over any kind
+of monotony, and keep it up till the monotonies ran out, if it was a
+fortnight.
+
+Last January, when we were beginning to inquire about a home for this
+summer, I remembered that Abbott Thayer had said, three years before,
+that the New Hampshire highlands was a good place. He was right--it was
+a good place. Any place that is good for an artist in paint is good for
+an artist in morals and ink. Brush is here, too; so is Col. T. W.
+Higginson; so is Raphael Pumpelly; so is Mr. Secretary Hitchcock; so is
+Henderson; so is Learned; so is Summer; so is Franklin MacVeigh; so is
+Joseph L. Smith; so is Henry Copley Greene, when I am not occupying his
+house, which I am doing this season. Paint, literature, science,
+statesmanship, history, professorship, law, morals,--these are all
+represented here, yet crime is substantially unknown.
+
+The summer homes of these refugees are sprinkled, a mile apart, among the
+forest-clad hills, with access to each other by firm smooth country roads
+which are so embowered in dense foliage that it is always twilight in
+there, and comfortable. The forests are spider-webbed with these good
+roads, they go everywhere; but for the help of the guide-boards, the
+stranger would not arrive anywhere.
+
+The village--Dublin--is bunched together in its own place, but a good
+telephone service makes its markets handy to all those outliars. I have
+spelt it that way to be witty. The village executes orders on, the
+Boston plan--promptness and courtesy.
+
+The summer homes are high-perched, as a rule, and have contenting
+outlooks. The house we occupy has one. Monadnock, a soaring double
+hump, rises into the sky at its left elbow--that is to say, it is close
+at hand. From the base of the long slant of the mountain the valley
+spreads away to the circling frame of the hills, and beyond the frame the
+billowy sweep of remote great ranges rises to view and flows, fold upon
+fold, wave upon wave, soft and blue and unwordly, to the horizon fifty
+miles away. In these October days Monadnock and the valley and its
+framing hills make an inspiring picture to look at, for they are
+sumptuously splashed and mottled and be-torched from sky-line to sky-line
+with the richest dyes the autumn can furnish; and when they lie flaming
+in the full drench of the mid-afternoon sun, the sight affects the
+spectator physically, it stirs his blood like military music.
+
+These summer homes are commodious, well built, and well furnished--facts
+which sufficiently indicate that the owners built them to live in
+themselves. They have furnaces and wood fireplaces, and the rest of the
+comforts and conveniences of a city home, and can be comfortably occupied
+all the year round.
+
+We cannot have this house next season, but I have secured Mrs. Upton's
+house which is over in the law and science quarter, two or three miles
+from here, and about the same distance from the art, literary, and
+scholastic groups. The science and law quarter has needed improving,
+this good while.
+
+The nearest railway-station is distant something like an hour's drive; it
+is three hours from there to Boston, over a branch line. You can go to
+New York in six hours per branch lines if you change cars every time you
+think of it, but it is better to go to Boston and stop over and take the
+trunk line next day, then you do not get lost.
+
+It is claimed that the atmosphere of the New Hampshire highlands is
+exceptionally bracing and stimulating, and a fine aid to hard and
+continuous work. It is a just claim, I think. I came in May, and
+wrought 35 successive days without a break. It is possible that I could
+not have done it elsewhere. I do not know; I have not had any
+disposition to try it, before. I think I got the disposition out of the
+atmosphere, this time. I feel quite sure, in fact, that that is where it
+came from.
+
+I am ashamed to confess what an intolerable pile of manuscript I ground
+out in the 35 days, therefore I will keep the number of words to myself.
+I wrote the first half of a long tale--"The Adventures of a Microbe" and
+put it away for a finish next summer, and started another long tale--"The
+Mysterious Stranger;" I wrote the first half of it and put it with the
+other for a finish next summer. I stopped, then. I was not tired, but I
+had no books on hand that needed finishing this year except one that was
+seven years old. After a little I took that one up and finished it. Not
+for publication, but to have it ready for revision next summer.
+
+Since I stopped work I have had a two months' holiday. The summer has
+been my working time for 35 years; to have a holiday in it (in America)
+is new for me. I have not broken it, except to write "Eve's Diary" and
+"A Horse's Tale"--short things occupying the mill 12 days.
+
+This year our summer is 6 months long and ends with November and the
+flight home to New York, but next year we hope and expect to stretch it
+another month and end it the first of December.
+
+ [No signature.]
+
+
+ The fact that he was a persistent smoker was widely known, and many
+ friends and admirers of Mark Twain sent him cigars, most of which he
+ could not use, because they were too good. He did not care for
+ Havana cigars, but smoked the fragrant, inexpensive domestic tobacco
+ with plenty of "pep" in it, as we say today. Now and then he had an
+ opportunity to head off some liberal friend, who wrote asking
+ permission to contribute to his cigar collection, as instance the
+ following.
+
+
+ To Rev. L. M. Powers, in Haverhill, Mass.:
+
+ Nov. 9, 1905.
+DEAR MR. POWERS,--I should accept your hospitable offer at once but for
+the fact I couldn't do it and remain honest. That is to say if I allowed
+you to send me what you believe to be good cigars it would distinctly
+mean that I meant to smoke them, whereas I should do nothing of the kind.
+I know a good cigar better than you do, for I have had 6o years
+experience.
+
+No, that is not what I mean; I mean I know a bad cigar better than
+anybody else; I judge by the price only; if it costs above 5 cents I know
+it to be either foreign or half-foreign, and unsmokeable. By me. I have
+many boxes of Havana cigars, of all prices from 20 cts apiece up to 1.66
+apiece; I bought none of them, they were all presents, they are an
+accumulation of several years. I have never smoked one of them and never
+shall, I work them off on the visitor. You shall have a chance when you
+come.
+
+Pessimists are born not made; optimists are born not made; but no man is
+born either pessimist wholly or optimist wholly, perhaps; he is
+pessimistic along certain lines and optimistic along certain others.
+That is my case.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ In spite of all the fine photographs that were made of him, there
+ recurred constantly among those sent him to be autographed a print
+ of one which, years before, Sarony had made and placed on public
+ sale. It was a good photograph, mechanically and even artistically,
+ but it did not please Mark Twain. Whenever he saw it he recalled
+ Sarony with bitterness and severity. Once he received an inquiry
+ concerning it, and thus feelingly expressed himself.
+
+
+ To Mr. Row (no address):
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK,
+ November 14, 1905.
+DEAR MR. ROW,--That alleged portrait has a private history. Sarony was
+as much of an enthusiast about wild animals as he was about photography;
+and when Du Chaillu brought the first Gorilla to this country in 1819 he
+came to me in a fever of excitement and asked me if my father was of
+record and authentic. I said he was; then Sarony, without any abatement
+of his excitement asked if my grandfather also was of record and
+authentic. I said he was. Then Sarony, with still rising excitement and
+with joy added to it, said he had found my great grandfather in the
+person of the gorilla, and had recognized him at once by his resemblance
+to me. I was deeply hurt but did not reveal this, because I knew Saxony
+meant no offense for the gorilla had not done him any harm, and he was
+not a man who would say an unkind thing about a gorilla wantonly. I went
+with him to inspect the ancestor, and examined him from several points of
+view, without being able to detect anything more than a passing
+resemblance. "Wait," said Sarony with confidence, "let me show you."
+He borrowed my overcoat - and put it on the gorilla. The result was
+surprising. I saw that the gorilla while not looking distinctly like me
+was exactly what my great grand father would have looked like if I had
+had one. Sarong photographed the creature in that overcoat, and spread
+the picture about the world. It has remained spread about the world ever
+since. It turns up every week in some newspaper somewhere or other. It
+is not my favorite, but to my exasperation it is everybody else's.
+Do you think you could get it suppressed for me? I will pay the limit.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ The year 1905 closed triumphantly for Mark Twain. The great
+ "Seventieth Birthday" dinner planned by Colonel George Harvey is
+ remembered to-day as the most notable festival occasion in New York
+ literary history. Other dinners and ovations followed. At seventy
+ he had returned to the world, more beloved, more honored than ever
+ before.
+
+
+
+
+XLV
+
+LETTERS, 1906, TO VARIOUS PERSONS. THE FAREWELL LECTURE. A SECOND
+SUMMER IN DUBLIN. BILLIARDS AND COPYRIGHT
+
+ MARK TWAIN at "Pier Seventy," as he called it, paused to look
+ backward and to record some memoirs of his long, eventful past. The
+ Autobiography dictations begun in Florence were resumed, and daily
+ he traveled back, recalling long-ago scenes and all-but-forgotten
+ places. He was not without reminders. Now and again there came
+ some message that brought back the old days--the Tom Sawyer and Huck
+ Finn days--or the romance of the river that he never recalled other
+ than with tenderness and a tone of regret that it was gone. An
+ invitation to the golden wedding of two ancient friends moved and
+ saddened him, and his answer to it conveys about all the story of
+ life.
+
+
+ To Mr. and Mrs. Gordon:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVENUE,
+ Jan. 24, '06.
+DEAR GORDONS,--I have just received your golden-wedding "At Home" and am
+trying to adjust my focus to it and realize how much it means. It is
+inconceivable! With a simple sweep it carries me back over a stretch of
+time measurable only in astronomical terms and geological periods.
+It brings before me Mrs. Gordon, young, round-limbed, handsome; and with
+her the Youngbloods and their two babies, and Laura Wright, that
+unspoiled little maid, that fresh flower of the woods and the prairies.
+Forty-eight years ago!
+
+Life was a fairy-tale, then, it is a tragedy now. When I was 43 and John
+Hay 41 he said life was a tragedy after 40, and I disputed it. Three
+years ago he asked me to testify again: I counted my graves, and there
+was nothing for me to say.
+
+I am old; I recognize it but I don't realize it. I wonder if a person
+ever really ceases to feel young--I mean, for a whole day at a time. My
+love to you both, and to all of us that are left.
+ MARK.
+
+
+ Though he used very little liquor of any kind, it was Mark Twain's
+ custom to keep a bottle of Scotch whiskey with his collection of
+ pipes and cigars and tobacco on a little table by his bed-side.
+ During restless nights he found a small quantity of it conducive to
+ sleep. Andrew Carnegie, learning of this custom, made it his
+ business to supply Scotch of his own special importation. The first
+ case came, direct from Scotland. When it arrived Clemens sent this
+ characteristic acknowledgment.
+
+
+ To Andrew Carnegie, in Scotland:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVE. Feb. 10, '06.
+DEAR ST. ANDREW,--The whisky arrived in due course from over the water;
+last week one bottle of it was extracted from the wood and inserted into
+me, on the instalment plan, with this result: that I believe it to be the
+best, smoothest whisky now on the planet. Thanks, oh, thanks: I have
+discarded Peruna.
+
+Hoping that you three are well and happy and will be coming back before
+the winter sets in.
+ I am,
+ Sincerely yours,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ It must have been a small bottle to be consumed by him in a week, or
+ perhaps he had able assistance. The next brief line refers to the
+ manuscript of his article, "Saint Joan of Arc," presented to the
+ museum at Rouen.
+
+
+ To Edward E. Clarke:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVE. Feb., 1906.
+DEAR SIR,--I have found the original manuscript and with great pleasure I
+transmit it herewith, also a printed copy.
+
+It is a matter of great pride to me to have any word of mine concerning
+the world's supremest heroine honored by a place in that Museum.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ The series of letters which follows was prepared by Mark Twain and
+ General Fred Grant, mainly with a view of advertising the lecture
+ that Clemens had agreed to deliver for the benefit of the Robert
+ Fulton Monument Association. It was, in fact, to be Mark Twain's
+ "farewell lecture," and the association had really proposed to pay
+ him a thousand dollars for it. The exchange of these letters,
+ however, was never made outside of Mark Twain's bed-room. Propped
+ against the pillows, pen in hand, with General Grant beside him,
+ they arranged the series with the idea of publication. Later the
+ plan was discarded, so that this pleasant foolery appears here for
+ the first, time.
+
+
+ PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL
+
+ (Correspondence)
+
+ Telegram
+
+ Army Headquarters (date)
+MARK TWAIN, New York,--Would you consider a proposal to talk at Carnegie
+Hall for the benefit of the Robert Fulton Monument Association, of which
+you are a Vice President, for a fee of a thousand dollars?
+ F. D. GRANT,
+ President,
+ Fulton Monument Association.
+
+
+ Telegraphic Answer:
+
+MAJOR-GENERAL F. D. GRANT, Army Headquarters,--I shall be glad to do it,
+but I must stipulate that you keep the thousand dollars and add it to the
+Monument fund as my contribution.
+ CLEMENS.
+
+
+Letters:
+
+DEAR MR. CLEMENS,--You have the thanks of the Association, and the terms
+shall be as you say. But why give all of it? Why not reserve a portion
+--why should you do this work wholly without compensation?
+ Truly yours
+ FRED. D. GRANT.
+
+
+MAJOR GENERAL GRANT, Army Headquarters.
+
+DEAR GENERAL,--Because I stopped talking for pay a good many years ago,
+and I could not resume the habit now without a great deal of personal
+discomfort. I love to hear myself talk, because I get so much
+instruction and moral upheaval out of it, but I lose the bulk of this joy
+when I charge for it. Let the terms stand.
+
+General, if I have your approval, I wish to use this good occasion to
+retire permanently from the platform.
+ Truly yours
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+DEAR MR. CLEMENS,--Certainly. But as an old friend, permit me to say,
+Don't do that. Why should you?--you are not old yet.
+ Yours truly,
+ FRED D. GRANT.
+
+
+DEAR GENERAL,--I mean the pay-platform; I shan't retire from the gratis-
+platform until after I am dead and courtesy requires me to keep still and
+not disturb the others.
+
+What shall I talk about? My idea is this: to instruct the audience about
+Robert Fulton, and..... Tell me-was that his real name, or was it his
+nom de plume? However, never mind, it is not important--I can skip it,
+and the house will think I knew all about it, but forgot. Could you find
+out for me if he was one of the Signers of the Declaration, and which
+one? But if it is any trouble, let it alone, I can skip it. Was he out
+with Paul Jones? Will you ask Horace Porter? And ask him if he brought
+both of them home. These will be very interesting facts, if they can be
+established. But never mind, don't trouble Porter, I can establish them
+anyway. The way I look at it, they are historical gems--gems of the very
+first water.
+
+Well, that is my idea, as I have said: first, excite the audience with a
+spoonful of information about Fulton, then quiet down with a barrel of
+illustration drawn by memory from my books--and if you don't say anything
+the house will think they never heard of it before, because people don't
+really read your books, they only say they do, to keep you from feeling
+bad. Next, excite the house with another spoonful of Fultonian fact,
+then tranquilize them again with another barrel of illustration. And so
+on and so on, all through the evening; and if you are discreet and don't
+tell them the illustrations don't illustrate anything, they won't notice
+it and I will send them home as well-informed about Robert Fulton as I am
+myself. Don't be afraid; I know all about audiences, they believe
+everything you say, except when you are telling the truth.
+ Truly yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+P.S. Mark all the advertisements "Private and Confidential," otherwise
+the people will not read them.
+ M. T.
+
+
+DEAR MR. CLEMENS,--How long shall you talk? I ask in order that we may
+be able to say when carriages may be called.
+ Very Truly yours,
+ HUGH GORDON MILLER,
+ Secretary.
+
+
+DEAR MR. MILLER,--I cannot say for sure. It is my custom to keep on
+talking till I get the audience cowed. Sometimes it takes an hour and
+fifteen minutes, sometimes I can do it in an hour.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+Mem. My charge is 2 boxes free. Not the choicest--sell the choicest,
+and give me any 6-seat boxes you please.
+ S. L. C.
+
+I want Fred Grant (in uniform) on the stage; also the rest of the
+officials of the Association; also other distinguished people--all the
+attractions we can get. Also, a seat for Mr. Albert Bigelow Paine, who
+may be useful to me if he is near me and on the front.
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+ The seat chosen for the writer of these notes was to be at the front
+ of the stage in order that the lecturer might lean over now and then
+ and pretend to be asking information concerning Fulton. I was not
+ entirely happy in the thought of this showy honor, and breathed more
+ freely when this plan was abandoned and the part assigned to General
+ Grant.
+
+ The lecture was given in Carnegie Hall, which had been gayly
+ decorated for the occasion. The house was more than filled, and a
+ great sum of money was realized for the fund.
+
+ It was that spring that Gorky and Tchaikowski, the Russian
+ revolutionists, came to America hoping to arouse interest in their
+ cause. The idea of the overthrow of the Russian dynasty was
+ pleasant to Mark Twain. Few things would have given him greater
+ comfort than to have known that a little more than ten years would
+ see the downfall of Russian imperialism. The letter which follows
+ was a reply to an invitation from Tchaikowski, urging him to speak
+ at one of the meetings.
+
+
+DEAR MR. TCHAIKOWSKI,--I thank you for the honor of the invitation, but
+I am not able to accept it, because on Thursday evening I shall be
+presiding at a meeting whose object is to find remunerative work for
+certain classes of our blind who would gladly support themselves if they
+had the opportunity.
+
+My sympathies are with the Russian revolution, of course. It goes
+without saying. I hope it will succeed, and now that I have talked with
+you I take heart to believe it will. Government by falsified promises;
+by lies, by treacheries, and by the butcher-knife for the aggrandizement
+of a single family of drones and its idle and vicious kin has been borne
+quite long enough in Russia, I should think, and it is to be hoped that
+the roused nation, now rising in its strength, will presently put an end
+to it and set up the republic in its place. Some of us, even of the
+white headed, may live to see the blessed day when Czars and Grand Dukes
+will be as scarce there as I trust they are in heaven.
+ Most sincerely yours,
+ MARK TWAIN.
+
+
+ There came another summer at Dublin, New Hampshire, this time in the
+ fine Upton residence on the other slope of Monadnock, a place of
+ equally beautiful surroundings, and an even more extended view.
+ Clemens was at this time working steadily on his so-called
+ Autobiography, which was not that, in fact, but a series of
+ remarkable chapters, reminiscent, reflective, commentative, written
+ without any particular sequence as to time or subject-matter. He
+ dictated these chapters to a stenographer, usually in the open air,
+ sitting in a comfortable rocker or pacing up and down the long
+ veranda that faced a vast expanse of wooded slope and lake and
+ distant blue mountains. It became one of the happiest occupations
+ of his later years.
+
+
+ To W. D. Howells, in Maine:
+
+ DUBLIN, Sunday, June 17, '06.
+DEAR HOWELLS,-- ..... The dictating goes lazily and pleasantly on. With
+intervals. I find that I have been at it, off and on, nearly two hours a
+day for 155 days, since Jan. 9. To be exact I've dictated 75 hours in 80
+days and loafed 75 days. I've added 60,000 words in the month that I've
+been here; which indicates that I've dictated during 20 days of that
+time--40 hours, at an average of 1,500 words an hour. It's a plenty, and
+I am satisfied.
+
+There's a good deal of "fat" I've dictated, (from Jan. 9) 210,000 words,
+and the "fat" adds about 50,000 more.
+
+The "fat" is old pigeon-holed things, of the years gone by, which I or
+editors didn't das't to print. For instance, I am dumping in the little
+old book which I read to you in Hartford about 30 years ago and which you
+said "publish--and ask Dean Stanley to furnish an introduction; he'll do
+it." ("Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven.") It reads quite to suit
+me, without altering a word, now that it isn't to see print until I am
+dead.
+
+To-morrow I mean to dictate a chapter which will get my heirs and assigns
+burnt alive if they venture to print it this side of 2006 A.D.--which I
+judge they won't. There'll be lots of such chapters if I live 3 or 4
+years longer. The edition of A.D. 2006 will make a stir when it comes
+out. I shall be hovering around taking notice, along with other dead
+pals. You are invited.
+ MARK.
+
+ His tendency to estimate the measure of the work he was doing, and
+ had completed, must have clung to him from his old printer days.
+
+ The chapter which was to get his heirs and assigns burned alive was
+ on the orthodox God, and there was more than one such chapter. In
+ the next letter he refers to two exquisite poems by Howells, and the
+ writer of these notes recalls his wonderful reading of them aloud.
+ 'In Our Town' was a collection of short stories then recently issued
+ by William Allen White. Howells had recommended them.
+
+
+ To W. D. Howells, in Maine:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVE., Tuesday Eve.
+DEAR HOWELLS,--It is lovely of you to say those beautiful things--I don't
+know how to thank you enough. But I love you, that I know.
+
+I read "After the Wedding" aloud and we felt all the pain of it and the
+truth. It was very moving and very beautiful--would have been over-
+comingly moving, at times, but for the haltings and pauses compelled by
+the difficulties of MS--these were a protection, in that they furnished
+me time to brace up my voice, and get a new start. Jean wanted to keep
+the MS for another reading-aloud, and for "keeps," too, I suspected, but
+I said it would be safest to write you about it.
+
+I like "In Our Town," particularly that Colonel, of the Lookout Mountain
+Oration, and very particularly pages 212-16. I wrote and told White so.
+
+After "After the Wedding" I read "The Mother" aloud and sounded its human
+deeps with your deep-sea lead. I had not read it before, since it was
+first published.
+
+I have been dictating some fearful things, for 4 successive mornings--for
+no eye but yours to see until I have been dead a century--if then. But
+I got them out of my system, where they had been festering for years--and
+that was the main thing. I feel better, now.
+
+I came down today on business--from house to house in 12 hours, and
+expected to arrive dead, but am neither tired nor sleepy.
+ Yours as always
+ MARK.
+
+
+ To William Allen White, in Emporia, Kans.:
+
+ DUBLIN, NEW HAMPSHIRE,
+ June 24, 1906.
+DEAR MR. WHITE,--Howells told me that "In Our Town" was a charming book,
+and indeed it is. All of it is delightful when read one's self, parts of
+it can score finely when subjected to the most exacting of tests--the
+reading aloud. Pages 197 and 216 are of that grade. I have tried them a
+couple of times on the family, and pages 212 and 216 are qualified to
+fetch any house of any country, caste or color, endowed with those riches
+which are denied to no nation on the planet--humor and feeling.
+
+Talk again--the country is listening.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ Witter Bynner, the poet, was one of the editors of McClure's
+ Magazine at this time, but was trying to muster the courage to give
+ up routine work for verse-making and the possibility of poverty.
+ Clemens was fond of Bynner and believed in his work. He did not
+ advise him, however, to break away entirely from a salaried
+ position--at least not immediately; but one day Bynner did so, and
+ reported the step he had taken, with some doubt as to the answer he
+ would receive.
+
+
+ To Witter Bynner, in New York:
+
+ DUBLIN, Oct. 5, 1906.
+DEAR POET,--You have certainly done right for several good reasons; at
+least, of them, I can name two:
+
+1. With your reputation you can have your freedom and yet earn your
+living. 2. if you fall short of succeeding to your wish, your
+reputation will provide you another job. And so in high approval I
+suppress the scolding and give you the saintly and fatherly pat instead.
+ MARK TWAIN.
+
+
+ On another occasion, when Bynner had written a poem to Clara
+ Clemens, her father pretended great indignation that the first poem
+ written by Bynner to any one in his household should not be to him,
+ and threatened revenge. At dinner shortly after he produced from
+ his pocket a slip of paper on which he had set down what he said was
+ "his only poem." He read the lines that follow:
+
+ "Of all sad words of tongue or pen,
+ The saddest are these: It might have been.
+ Ah, say not so! as life grows longer, leaner, thinner,
+ We recognize, O God, it might have Bynner!"
+
+ He returned to New York in October and soon after was presented by
+ Mrs. H. H. Rogers with a handsome billiard-table.
+
+ He had a passion for the game, but had played comparatively little
+ since the old Hartford days of fifteen years before, when a group of
+ his friends used to assemble on Friday nights in the room at the top
+ of the house for long, strenuous games and much hilarity. Now the
+ old fever all came back; the fascinations of the game superseded
+ even his interest in the daily dictations.
+
+
+ To Mrs. H. H. Rogers, in New York:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVENUE, Monday, Nov., 1906.
+DEAR MRS. ROGERS,--The billiard table is better than the doctors. It is
+driving out the heartburn in a most promising way. I have a billiardist
+on the premises, and I walk not less than ten miles every day with the
+cue in my hand. And the walking is not the whole of the exercise, nor
+the most health-giving part of it, I think. Through the multitude of the
+positions and attitudes it brings into play every muscle in the body and
+exercises them all.
+
+The games begin right after luncheon, daily, and continue until midnight,
+with 2 hours' intermission for dinner and music. And so it is 9 hours'
+exercise per day, and 10 or 12 on Sunday. Yesterday and last night it
+was 12--and I slept until 8 this morning without waking. The billiard
+table, as a Sabbath breaker can beat any coal-breaker in Pennsylvania,
+and give it 30 in, the game. If Mr. Rogers will take to daily billiards
+he can do without doctors and the massageur, I think.
+
+We are really going to build a house on my farm, an hour and a half from
+New York. It is decided. It is to be built by contract, and is to come
+within $25,000.
+ With love and many thanks.
+ S. L. C.
+
+P.S. Clara is in the sanitarium--till January 28 when her western
+concert tour will begin. She is getting to be a mighty competent singer.
+You must know Clara better; she is one of the very finest and completest
+and most satisfactory characters I have ever met. Others knew it before,
+but I have always been busy with other matters.
+
+
+ The "billiardist on the premises" was the writer of these notes,
+ who, earlier in the year, had become his biographer, and, in the
+ course of time, his daily companion and friend. The farm mentioned
+ was one which he had bought at Redding, Connecticut, where, later,
+ he built the house known as "Stormfield."
+
+ Henry Mills Alden, for nearly forty years editor of Harper's
+ Magazine, arrived at his seventieth birthday on November 11th that
+ year, and Harper & Brothers had arranged to give him a great dinner
+ in the offices of Franklin Square, where, for half a century, he had
+ been an active force. Mark Twain, threatened with a cold, and
+ knowing the dinner would be strenuous, did not feel able to attend,
+ so wrote a letter which, if found suitable, could be read at the
+ gathering.
+
+
+ To Mr. Henry Alden:
+
+ALDEN,--dear and ancient friend--it is a solemn moment. You have now
+reached the age of discretion. You have been a long time arriving. Many
+years ago you docked me on an article because the subject was too old;
+later, you docked me on an article because the subject was too new; later
+still, you docked me on an article because the subject was betwixt and
+between. Once, when I wrote a Letter to Queen Victoria, you did not put
+it in the respectable part of the Magazine, but interred it in that
+potter's field, the Editor's Drawer. As a result, she never answered it.
+How often we recall, with regret, that Napoleon once shot at a magazine
+editor and missed him and killed a publisher. But we remember, with
+charity, that his intentions were good.
+
+You will reform, now, Alden. You will cease from these economies, and
+you will be discharged. But in your retirement you will carry with you
+the admiration and earnest good wishes of the oppressed and toiling
+scribes. This will be better than bread. Let this console you when the
+bread fails.
+
+You will carry with you another thing, too--the affection of the scribes;
+for they all love you in spite of your crimes. For you bear a kind heart
+in your breast, and the sweet and winning spirit that charms away all
+hostilities and animosities, and makes of your enemy your friend and
+keeps him so. You have reigned over us thirty-six years, and, please
+God, you shall reign another thirty-six--"and peace to Mahmoud on his
+golden throne!"
+ Always yours
+ MARK
+
+
+ A copyright bill was coming up in Washington and a delegation of
+ authors went down to work for it. Clemens was not the head of the
+ delegation, but he was the most prominent member of it, as well as
+ the most useful. He invited the writer to accompany him, and
+ elsewhere I have told in detail the story of that excursion,--[See
+ Mark Twain; A Biography, chap. ccli,]-- which need be but briefly
+ touched upon here.
+
+ His work was mainly done aside from that of the delegation. They
+ had him scheduled for a speech, however, which he made without notes
+ and with scarcely any preparation. Meantime he had applied to
+ Speaker Cannon for permission to allow him on the floor of the
+ House, where he could buttonhole the Congressmen. He was not
+ eligible to the floor without having received the thanks of
+ Congress, hence the following letter:
+
+
+ To Hon. Joseph Cannon, House of Representatives:
+
+ Dec. 7, 1906.
+DEAR UNCLE JOSEPH,--Please get me the thanks of the Congress--not next
+week but right away. It is very necessary. Do accomplish this for your
+affectionate old friend right away; by persuasion, if you can, by
+violence if you must, for it is imperatively necessary that I get on the
+floor for two or three hours and talk to the members, man by man, in
+behalf of the support, encouragement and protection of one of the
+nation's most valuable assets and industries--its literature. I have
+arguments with me, also a barrel, with liquid in it.
+
+Give me a chance. Get me the thanks of Congress. Don't wait for others;
+there isn't time. I have stayed away and let Congress alone for seventy-
+one years and I am entitled to thanks. Congress knows it perfectly well
+and I have long felt hurt that this quite proper and earned expression of
+gratitude has been merely felt by the House and never publicly uttered.
+Send me an order on the Sergeant-at-Arms quick. When shall I come? With
+love and a benediction.
+ MARK TWAIN.
+
+
+ This was mainly a joke. Mark Twain did not expect any "thanks," but
+ he did hope for access to the floor, which once, in an earlier day,
+ had been accorded him. We drove to the Capitol and he delivered his
+ letter to "Uncle Joe" by hand. "Uncle Joe" could not give him the
+ privilege of the floor; the rules had become more stringent. He
+ declared they would hang him if he did such a thing. He added that
+ he had a private room down-stairs, where Mark Twain might establish
+ headquarters, and that he would assign his colored servant, Neal, of
+ long acquaintanceship with many of the members, to pass the word
+ that Mark Twain was receiving.
+
+ The result was a great success. All that afternoon members of
+ Congress poured into the Speaker's room and, in an atmosphere blue
+ with tobacco smoke, Mark Twain talked the gospel of copyright to his
+ heart's content.
+
+ The bill did not come up for passage that session, but Mark Twain
+ lived to see his afternoon's lobbying bring a return. In 1909,
+ Champ Clark, and those others who had gathered around him that
+ afternoon, passed a measure that added fourteen years to the
+ copyright term.
+
+ The next letter refers to a proposed lobby of quite a different
+ sort.
+
+
+ To Helen Keller, in Wrentham, Mass.:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVENUE,
+ Dec. 23, '06.
+DEAR HELEN KELLER,-- . . . You say, "As a reformer, you know that
+ideas must be driven home again and again."
+
+Yes, I know it; and by old experience I know that speeches and documents
+and public meetings are a pretty poor and lame way of accomplishing it.
+Last year I proposed a sane way--one which I had practiced with success
+for a quarter of a century--but I wasn't expecting it to get any
+attention, and it didn't.
+
+Give me a battalion of 200 winsome young girls and matrons, and let me
+tell them what to do and how to do it, and I will be responsible for
+shining results. If I could mass them on the stage in front of the
+audience and instruct them there, I could make a public meeting take hold
+of itself and do something really valuable for once. Not that the real
+instruction would be done there, for it wouldn't; it would be previously
+done privately, and merely repeated there.
+
+But it isn't going to happen--the good old way will be stuck to: there'll
+be a public meeting: with music, and prayer, and a wearying report, and a
+verbal description of the marvels the blind can do, and 17 speeches--then
+the call upon all present who are still alive, to contribute. This hoary
+program was invented in the idiot asylum, and will never be changed. Its
+function is to breed hostility to good causes.
+
+Some day somebody will recruit my 200--my dear beguilesome Knights of the
+Golden Fleece--and you will see them make good their ominous name.
+
+Mind, we must meet! not in the grim and ghastly air of the platform,
+mayhap, but by the friendly fire--here at 21.
+ Affectionately your friend,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ They did meet somewhat later that winter in the friendly parlors of
+ No. 21, and friends gathered in to meet the marvelous blind girl and
+ to pay tribute to Miss Sullivan (Mrs. Macy) for her almost
+ incredible achievement.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of this Project Gutenberg Etext of Letters Vol. 5, by Mark Twain
+
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+The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Letters of Mark Twain, Vol. 5
+#58 in our series by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
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+Title: The Letters Of Mark Twain, Vol. 5
+
+Author: Mark Twain
+
+Release Date: April, 2002 [Etext #3197]
+[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule]
+[This file was first posted on February 19, 2001]
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+The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Letters of Mark Twain, Vol. 5
+******This file should be named mt5lt11.txt or mt5lt11.zip******
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+
+MARK TWAIN'S LETTERS 1901-1906
+
+ARRANGED WITH COMMENT BY ALBERT BIGELOW PAINE
+
+
+
+VOLUME V.
+
+
+XL
+
+LETTERS OF 1901, CHIEFLY TO TWICHELL. MARK TWAIN AS A REFORMER.
+SUMMER AT SARANAC. ASSASSINATION OF PRESIDENT McKINLEY
+
+ An editorial in the Louisville Courier-Journal, early in 1901, said:
+ "A remarkable transformation, or rather a development, has taken
+ place in Mark Twain. The genial humorist of the earlier day is now
+ a reformer of the vigorous kind, a sort of knight errant who does
+ not hesitate to break a lance with either Church or State if he
+ thinks them interposing on that broad highway over which he believes
+ not a part but the whole of mankind has the privilege of passing in
+ the onward march of the ages."
+
+ Mark Twain had begun "breaking the lance" very soon after his return
+ from Europe. He did not believe that he could reform the world, but
+ at least he need not withhold his protest against those things which
+ stirred his wrath. He began by causing the arrest of a cabman who
+ had not only overcharged but insulted him; he continued by writing
+ openly against the American policy in the Philippines, the
+ missionary propaganda which had resulted in the Chinese uprising and
+ massacre, and against Tammany politics. Not all of his efforts were
+ in the line of reform; he had become a sort of general spokesman
+ which the public flocked to hear, whatever the subject. On the
+ occasion of a Lincoln Birthday service at Carnegie Hall he was
+ chosen to preside, and he was obliged to attend more dinners than
+ were good for his health. His letters of this period were mainly
+ written to his old friend Twichell, in Hartford. Howells, who lived
+ in New York, he saw with considerable frequency.
+
+ In the letter which follows the medicine which Twichell was to take
+ was Plasmon, an English proprietary remedy in which Mark Twain had
+ invested--a panacea for all human ills which osteopathy could not
+ reach.
+
+
+ To Rev. Joseph Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ 14 W. 10TH ST. Jan. 23, '01.
+DEAR JOE,--Certainly. I used to take it in my coffee, but it settled to
+the bottom in the form of mud, and I had to eat it with a spoon; so I
+dropped the custom and took my 2 teaspoonfuls in cold milk after
+breakfast. If we were out of milk I shoveled the dry powder into my
+mouth and washed it down with water. The only essential is to get it
+down, the method is not important.
+
+No, blame it, I can't go to the Alumni dinner, Joe. It takes two days,
+and I can't spare the time. Moreover I preside at the Lincoln birthday
+celebration in Carnegie Hall Feb. 11 and I must not make two speeches so
+close together. Think of it--two old rebels functioning there--I as
+President, and Watterson as Orator of the Day! Things have changed
+somewhat in these 40 years, thank God.
+
+Look here--when you come down you must be our guest--we've got a roomy
+room for you, and Livy will make trouble if you go elsewhere. Come
+straight to 14 West 10th.
+
+Jan. 24. Livy says Amen to that; also, can you give us a day or two's
+notice, so the room will be sure to be vacant?
+
+I'm going to stick close to my desk for a month, now, hoping to write a
+small book.
+ Ys Ever
+ MARK
+
+
+ The letter which follows is a fair sample of Mark Twain's private
+ violence on a subject which, in public print, he could only treat
+ effectively by preserving his good humor. When he found it
+ necessary to boil over, as he did, now and then, for relief, he
+ always found a willing audience in Twichell. The mention of his
+ "Private Philosophy" refers to 'What Is Man?', privately published
+ in 1906; reissued by his publishers in 1916.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ 14 W. 10th Jan. 29, '01.
+DEAR JOE,--I'm not expecting anything but kicks for scoffing, and am
+expecting a diminution of my bread and butter by it, but if Livy will let
+me I will have my say. This nation is like all the others that have been
+spewed upon the earth--ready to shout for any cause that will tickle its
+vanity or fill its pocket. What a hell of a heaven it will be, when they
+get all these hypocrites assembled there!
+
+I can't understand it! You are a public guide and teacher, Joe, and are
+under a heavy responsibility to men, young and old; if you teach your
+people--as you teach me--to hide their opinions when they believe the
+flag is being abused and dishonored, lest the utterance do them and a
+publisher a damage, how do you answer for it to your conscience? You are
+sorry for me; in the fair way of give and take, I am willing to be a
+little sorry for you.
+
+However, I seem to be going counter to my own Private Philosophy--which
+Livy won't allow me to publish--because it would destroy me. But I hope
+to see it in print before I die. I planned it 15 years ago, and wrote it
+in '98. I've often tried to read it to Livy, but she won't have it; it
+makes her melancholy. The truth always has that effect on people. Would
+have, anyway, if they ever got hold of a rag of it--Which they don't.
+
+You are supposing that I am supposing that I am moved by a Large
+Patriotism, and that I am distressed because our President has blundered
+up to his neck in the Philippine mess; and that I am grieved because this
+great big ignorant nation, which doesn't know even the A B C facts of the
+Philippine episode, is in disgrace before the sarcastic world--drop that
+idea! I care nothing for the rest--I am only distressed and troubled
+because I am befouled by these things. That is all. When I search
+myself away down deep, I find this out. Whatever a man feels or thinks
+or does, there is never any but one reason for it--and that is a selfish
+one.
+
+At great inconvenience, and expense of precious time I went to the chief
+synagogue the other night and talked in the interest of a charity school
+of poor Jew girls. I know--to the finest, shades--the selfish ends that
+moved me; but no one else suspects. I could give you the details if I
+had time. You would perceive how true they are.
+
+I've written another article; you better hurry down and help Livy squelch
+it.
+
+She's out pottering around somewhere, poor housekeeping slave; and Clara
+is in the hands of the osteopath, getting the bronchitis pulled and
+hauled out of her. It was a bad attack, and a little disquieting. It
+came day before yesterday, and she hasn't sat up till this afternoon.
+She is getting along satisfactorily, now.
+ Lots of love to you all.
+ MARK
+
+
+ Mark Twain's religion had to do chiefly with humanity in its present
+ incarnation, and concerned itself very little with any possible
+ measure of reward or punishment in some supposed court of the
+ hereafter. Nevertheless, psychic investigation always interested
+ him, and he was good-naturedly willing to explore, even hoping,
+ perhaps, to be convinced that individuality continues beyond death.
+ The letter which follows indicates his customary attitude in
+ relation to spiritualistic research. The experiments here
+ mentioned, however, were not satisfactory.
+
+
+ To Mrs. Charles McQuiston:
+
+ DOBBS FERRY, N. Y.
+ March 26, 1901.
+DEAR MRS. McQUISTON,--I have never had an experience which moved me to
+believe the living can communicate with the dead, but my wife and I have
+experimented in the matter when opportunity offered and shall continue to
+do so.
+
+I enclose a letter which came this morning--the second from the same
+source. Mrs. K----is a Missourian, and lately she discovered, by
+accident, that she was a remarkable hypnotiser. Her best subject is a
+Missouri girl, Miss White, who is to come here soon and sustain strictly
+scientific tests before professors at Columbia University. Mrs. Clemens
+and I intend to be present. And we shall ask the pair to come to our
+house to do whatever things they can do. Meantime, if you thought well
+of it, you might write her and arrange a meeting, telling her it is by my
+suggestion and that I gave you her address.
+
+Someone has told me that Mrs. Piper is discredited. I cannot be sure,
+but I think it was Mr. Myers, President of the London Psychical Research
+Society--we heard of his death yesterday. He was a spiritualist. I am
+afraid he was a very easily convinced man. We visited two mediums whom
+he and Andrew Lang considered quite wonderful, but they were quite
+transparent frauds.
+
+Mrs. Clemens corrects me: One of those women was a fraud, the other not a
+fraud, but only an innocent, well-meaning, driveling vacancy.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ In Mark Twain's Bermuda chapters entitled Idle Notes of an Idle
+ Excursion he tells of an old sea captain, one Hurricane Jones, who
+ explained biblical miracles in a practical, even if somewhat
+ startling, fashion. In his story of the prophets of Baal, for
+ instance, the old captain declared that the burning water was
+ nothing more nor less than petroleum. Upon reading the "notes,"
+ Professor Phelps of Yale wrote that the same method of explaining
+ miracles had been offered by Sir Thomas Browne.
+
+ Perhaps it may be added that Captain Hurricane Jones also appears in
+ Roughing It, as Captain Ned Blakely.
+
+
+ To Professor William Lyon Phelps;
+
+ YALE UNIVERSITY,
+ NEW YORK, April 24, 1901.
+MY DEAR SIR,--I was not aware that old Sir Thomas had anticipated that
+story, and I am much obliged to you for furnishing me the paragraph.
+t is curious that the same idea should leave entered two heads so unlike
+as the head of that wise old philosopher and that of Captain Ned Wakeman,
+a splendidly uncultured old sailor, but in his own opinion a thinker by
+divine right. He was an old friend of mine of many years' standing;
+I made two or three voyages with him, and found him a darling in many
+ways. The petroleum story was not told to me; he told it to Joe
+Twichell, who ran across him by accident on a sea voyage where I think
+the two were the only passengers. A delicious pair, and admirably mated,
+they took to each other at once and became as thick as thieves. Joe was
+passing under a fictitious name, and old Wakeman didn't suspect that he
+was a parson; so he gave his profanity full swing, and he was a master of
+that great art. You probably know Twichell, and will know that that is a
+kind of refreshment which he is very capable of enjoying.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ For the summer Clemens and his family found a comfortable lodge in
+ the Adirondacks--a log cabin called "The Lair"--on Saranac Lake.
+ Soon after his arrival there he received an invitation to attend the
+ celebration of Missouri's eightieth anniversary. He sent the
+ following letter:
+
+
+ To Edward L. Dimmitt, in St. Louis:
+
+ AMONG THE ADIRONDACK LAKES, July 19, 1901.
+DEAR MR. DIMMITT,--By an error in the plans, things go wrong end first in
+this world, and much precious time is lost and matters of urgent
+importance are fatally retarded. Invitations which a brisk young fellow
+should get, and which would transport him with joy, are delayed and
+impeded and obstructed until they are fifty years overdue when they reach
+him.
+
+It has happened again in this case.
+
+When I was a boy in Missouri I was always on the lookout for invitations
+but they always miscarried and went wandering through the aisles of time;
+and now they are arriving when I am old and rheumatic and can't travel
+and must lose my chance.
+
+I have lost a world of delight through this matter of delaying
+invitations. Fifty years ago I would have gone eagerly across the world
+to help celebrate anything that might turn up. IT would have made no
+difference to me what it was, so that I was there and allowed a chance to
+make a noise.
+
+The whole scheme of things is turned wrong end to. Life should begin
+with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its
+capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages. As things are now, when in
+youth a dollar would bring a hundred pleasures, you can't have it. When
+you are old, you get it and there is nothing worth buying with it then.
+
+It's an epitome of life. The first half of it consists of the capacity
+to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance without
+the capacity.
+
+I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along.
+I am approaching the threshold of age; in 1977 I shall be 142. This is
+no time to be flitting about the earth. I must cease from the activities
+proper to youth and begin to take on the dignities and gravities and
+inertia proper to that season of honorable senility which is on its way
+and imminent as indicated above.
+
+Yours is a great and memorable occasion, and as a son of Missouri I
+should hold it a high privilege to be there and share your just pride in
+the state's achievements; but I must deny myself the indulgence, while
+thanking you earnestly for the prized honor you have done me in asking me
+to be present.
+ Very truly yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ In the foregoing Mark Twain touches upon one of his favorite
+ fancies: that life should begin with old age and approach strong
+ manhood, golden youth, to end at last with pampered and beloved
+ babyhood. Possibly he contemplated writing a story with this idea
+ as the theme, but He seems never to have done so.
+
+ The reader who has followed these letters may remember Yung Wing,
+ who had charge of the Chinese educational mission in Hartford, and
+ how Mark Twain, with Twichell, called on General Grant in behalf of
+ the mission. Yung Wing, now returned to China, had conceived the
+ idea of making an appeal to the Government of the United States for
+ relief of his starving countrymen.
+
+
+ To J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ AMPERSAND, N. Y., July 28, '01.
+DEAR JOE,--As you say, it is impracticable--in my case, certainly. For
+me to assist in an appeal to that Congress of land-thieves and liars
+would be to bring derision upon it; and for me to assist in an appeal for
+cash to pass through the hands of those missionaries out there, of any
+denomination, Catholic or Protestant, wouldn't do at all. They wouldn't
+handle money which I had soiled, and I wouldn't trust them with it,
+anyway. They would devote it to the relief of suffering--I know that--
+but the sufferers selected would be converts. The missionary-utterances
+exhibit no humane feeling toward the others, but in place of it a spirit
+of hate and hostility. And it is natural; the Bible forbids their
+presence there, their trade is unlawful, why shouldn't their characters
+be of necessity in harmony with--but never mind, let it go, it irritates
+me.
+
+Later.... I have been reading Yung Wing's letter again. It may be that
+he is over-wrought by his sympathies, but it may not be so. There may be
+other reasons why the missionaries are silent about the Shensi-2-year
+famine and cannibalism. It may be that there are so few Protestant
+converts there that the missionaries are able to take care of them. That
+they are not likely to largely concern themselves about Catholic converts
+and the others, is quite natural, I think.
+
+That crude way of appealing to this Government for help in a cause which
+has no money in it, and no politics, rises before me again in all its
+admirable innocence! Doesn't Yung Wing know us yet? However, he has
+been absent since '96 or '97. We have gone to hell since then. Kossuth
+couldn't raise 30 cents in Congress, now, if he were back with his moving
+Magyar-Tale.
+
+I am on the front porch (lower one--main deck) of our little bijou of a
+dwelling-house. The lake-edge (Lower Saranac) is so nearly under me that
+I can't see the shore, but only the water, small-pored with rain-
+splashes--for there is a heavy down-pour. It is charmingly like sitting
+snuggled up on a ship's deck with the stretching sea all around--but very
+much more satisfactory, for at sea a rain-storm is depressing, while here
+of course the effect engendered is just a deep sense of comfort and
+contentment. The heavy forest shuts us solidly in on three sides there
+are no neighbors. There are beautiful little tan-colored impudent
+squirrels about. They take tea, 5 p. m., (not invited) at the table in
+the woods where Jean does my typewriting, and one of them has been brave
+enough to sit upon Jean's knee with his tail curved over his back and
+munch his food. They come to dinner, 7 p. m., on the front porch (not
+invited). They all have the one name--Blennerhasset, from Burr's friend
+--and none of them answers to it except when hungry.
+
+We have been here since June 21st. For a little while we had some warm
+days--according to the family's estimate; I was hardly discommoded
+myself. Otherwise the weather has been of the sort you are familiar with
+in these regions: cool days and cool nights. We have heard of the hot
+wave every Wednesday, per the weekly paper--we allow no dailies to
+intrude. Last week through visitors also--the only ones we have had--
+Dr. Root and John Howells.
+
+We have the daily lake-swim; and all the tribe, servants included (but
+not I) do a good deal of boating; sometimes with the guide, sometimes
+without him--Jean and Clara are competent with the oars. If we live
+another year, I hope we shall spend its summer in this house.
+
+We have taken the Appleton country seat, overlooking the Hudson, at
+Riverdale, 25 minutes from the Grand Central Station, for a year,
+beginning Oct. 1, with option for another year. We are obliged to be
+close to New York for a year or two.
+
+Aug. 3rd. I go yachting a fortnight up north in a 20-knot boat 225 feet
+long, with the owner, (Mr. Rogers), Tom Reid, Dr. Rice, Col. A. G. Paine
+and one or two others. Judge Howland would go, but can't get away from
+engagements; Professor Sloane would go, but is in the grip of an illness.
+Come--will you go? If you can manage it, drop a post-card to me c/o H.H.
+Rogers, 26 Broadway. I shall be in New York a couple of days before we
+sail--July 31 or Aug. 1, perhaps the latter,--and I think I shall stop at
+the Hotel Grosvenor, cor. l0th St and 5th ave.
+
+We all send you and the Harmonies lots and gobs of love.
+ MARK
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ AMPERSAND, N. Y., Aug. 28.
+DEAR JOE,--Just a word, to scoff at you, with your extravagant suggestion
+that I read the biography of Phillips Brooks--the very dullest book that
+has been printed for a century. Joe, ten pages of Mrs. Cheney's masterly
+biography of her fathers--no, five pages of it--contain more meat, more
+sense, more literature, more brilliancy, than that whole basketful of
+drowsy rubbish put together. Why, in that dead atmosphere even Brooks
+himself is dull--he wearied me; oh how he wearied me!
+
+We had a noble good time in the Yacht, and caught a Chinese missionary
+and drowned him.
+ Love from us all to you all.
+ MARK.
+
+
+ The assassination of President McKinley occurred September 6, 1901.
+ Such an event would naturally stir Mark Twain to comment on human
+ nature in general. His letter to Twichell is as individual as it is
+ sound in philosophy. At what period of his own life, or under what
+ circumstances, he made the long journey with tragic intent there is
+ no means of knowing now. There is no other mention of it elsewhere
+ in the records that survive him.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ AMPERSAND, Tuesday, (Sept. 10, 1901)
+DEAR JOE,--It is another off day, but tomorrow I shall resume work to a
+certainty, and bid a long farewell to letter-scribbling.
+
+The news of the President looks decidedly hopeful, and we are all glad,
+and the household faces are much improved, as to cheerfulness. Oh, the
+talk in the newspapers! Evidently the Human Race is the same old Human
+Race. And how unjust, and unreflectingly discriminating, the talkers
+are. Under the unsettling effects of powerful emotion the talkers are
+saying wild things, crazy things--they are out of themselves, and do not
+know it; they are temporarily insane, yet with one voice they declare the
+assassin sane--a man who has been entertaining fiery and reason--
+debauching maggots in his head for weeks and months. Why, no one is
+sane, straight along, year in and year out, and we all know it. Our
+insanities are of varying sorts, and express themselves in varying forms
+--fortunately harmless forms as a rule--but in whatever form they occur
+an immense upheaval of feeling can at any time topple us distinctly over
+the sanity-line for a little while; and then if our form happens to be of
+the murderous kind we must look out--and so must the spectator.
+
+This ass with the unpronounceable name was probably more insane than
+usual this week or two back, and may get back upon his bearings by and
+by, but he was over the sanity-border when he shot the President. It is
+possible that it has taken him the whole interval since the murder of the
+King of Italy to get insane enough to attempt the President's life.
+Without a doubt some thousands of men have been meditating the same act
+in the same interval, but new and strong interests have intervened and
+diverted their over-excited minds long enough to give them a chance to
+settle, and tranquilize, and get back upon a healthy level again. Every
+extraordinary occurrence unsettles the heads of hundreds of thousands of
+men for a few moments or hours or days. If there had been ten kings
+around when Humbert fell they would have been in great peril for a day or
+more--and from men in whose presence they would have been quite safe
+after the excess of their excitement had had an interval in which to cool
+down. I bought a revolver once and travelled twelve hundred miles to
+kill a man. He was away. He was gone a day. With nothing else to do,
+I had to stop and think--and did. Within an hour--within half of it--
+I was ashamed of myself--and felt unspeakably ridiculous. I do not know
+what to call it if I was not insane. During a whole week my head was in
+a turmoil night and day fierce enough and exhausting enough to upset a
+stronger reason than mine.
+
+All over the world, every day, there are some millions of men in that
+condition temporarily. And in that time there is always a moment--
+perhaps only a single one when they would do murder if their man was at
+hand. If the opportunity comes a shade too late, the chances are that it
+has come permanently too late. Opportunity seldom comes exactly at the
+supreme moment. This saves a million lives a day in the world--for sure.
+
+No Ruler is ever slain but the tremendous details of it are ravenously
+devoured by a hundred thousand men whose minds dwell, unaware, near the
+temporary-insanity frontier--and over they go, now! There is a day--two
+days--three--during which no Ruler would be safe from perhaps the half of
+them; and there is a single moment wherein he would not be safe from any
+of them, no doubt.
+
+It may take this present shooting-case six months to breed another ruler-
+tragedy, but it will breed it. There is at least one mind somewhere
+which will brood, and wear, and decay itself to the killing-point and
+produce that tragedy.
+
+Every negro burned at the stake unsettles the excitable brain of another
+one--I mean the inflaming details of his crime, and the lurid
+theatricality of his exit do it--and the duplicate crime follows; and
+that begets a repetition, and that one another one and so on. Every
+lynching-account unsettles the brains of another set of excitable white
+men, and lights another pyre--115 lynchings last year, 102 inside of 8
+months this year; in ten years this will be habit, on these terms.
+
+Yes, the wild talk you see in the papers! And from men who are sane when
+not upset by overwhelming excitement. A U. S. Senator-Cullom--wants this
+Buffalo criminal lynched! It would breed other lynchings--of men who are
+not dreaming of committing murders, now, and will commit none if Cullom
+will keep quiet and not provide the exciting cause.
+
+And a District Attorney wants a law which shall punish with death
+attempts upon a President's life--this, mind you, as a deterrent.
+It would have no effect--or the opposite one. The lunatic's mind-space
+is all occupied--as mine was--with the matter in hand; there is no room
+in it for reflections upon what may happen to him. That comes after the
+crime.
+
+It is the noise the attempt would make in the world that would breed the
+subsequent attempts, by unsettling the rickety minds of men who envy the
+criminal his vast notoriety--his obscure name tongued by stupendous Kings
+and Emperors--his picture printed everywhere, the trivialest details of
+his movements, what he eats, what he drinks; how he sleeps, what he says,
+cabled abroad over the whole globe at cost of fifty thousand dollars a
+day--and he only a lowly shoemaker yesterday!--like the assassin of the
+President of France--in debt three francs to his landlady, and insulted
+by her--and to-day she is proud to be able to say she knew him
+"as familiarly as you know your own brother," and glad to stand till she
+drops and pour out columns and pages of her grandeur and her happiness
+upon the eager interviewer.
+
+Nothing will check the lynchings and ruler-murder but absolute silence--
+the absence of pow-pow about them. How are you going to manage that?
+By gagging every witness and jamming him into a dungeon for life; by
+abolishing all newspapers; by exterminating all newspaper men; and by
+extinguishing God's most elegant invention, the Human Race. It is quite
+simple, quite easy, and I hope you will take a day off and attend to it,
+Joe. I blow a kiss to you, and am
+ Lovingly Yours,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ When the Adirondack summer ended Clemens settled for the winter in
+ the beautiful Appleton home at Riverdale-on-the-Hudson. It was a
+ place of wide-spreading grass and shade-a house of ample room. They
+ were established in it in time for Mark Twain to take an active
+ interest in the New York elections and assist a ticket for good
+ government to defeat Tammany Hall.
+
+
+
+
+XLI
+
+LETTERS OF 1902. RIVERDALE. YORK HARBOR. ILLNESS OF MRS. CLEMENS
+
+The year 1902 was an eventful one for Mark Twain. In April he received a
+degree of LL.D. from the University of Missouri and returned to his
+native State to accept it. This was his last journey to the Mississippi
+River. During the summer Mrs. Clemens's health broke down and illnesses
+of one sort or another visited other members of the family. Amid so much
+stress and anxiety Clemens had little time or inclination for work. He
+wrote not many letters and mainly somber ones. Once, by way of
+diversion, he worked out the idea of a curious club--which he formed--its
+members to be young girls--girls for the most part whom he had never
+seen. They were elected without their consent from among those who wrote
+to him without his consent, and it is not likely that any one so chosen
+declined membership. One selection from his letters to the French
+member, Miss Helene Picard, of St.-Die, France, will explain the club and
+present a side of Mask Twain somewhat different from that found in most
+of his correspondence.
+
+
+ To Miss Picard, in St.-Die, France:
+
+ RIVERDALE-ON-THE-HUDSON, February 22, 1902.
+DEAR MISS HELENE,--If you will let me call you so, considering that my
+head is white and that I have grownup daughters. Your beautiful letter
+has given me such deep pleasure! I will make bold to claim you for a
+friend and lock you up with the rest of my riches; for I am a miser who
+counts his spoil every day and hoards it secretly and adds to it when he
+can, and is grateful to see it grow.
+
+Some of that gold comes, like yourself, in a sealed package, and I can't
+see it and may never have the happiness; but I know its value without
+that, and by what sum it increases my wealth.
+
+I have a Club, a private Club, which is all my own. I appoint the
+Members myself, and they can't help themselves, because I don't allow
+them to vote on their own appointment and I don't allow them to resign!
+They are all friends whom I have never seen (save one), but who have
+written friendly letters to me.
+
+By the laws of my Club there can be only one Member in each country, and
+there can be no male Member but myself. Some day I may admit males, but
+I don't know--they are capricious and inharmonious, and their ways
+provoke me a good deal. It is a matter which the Club shall decide.
+
+I have made four appointments in the past three or four months: You as
+Member for France, a young Highland girl as Member for Scotland, a
+Mohammedan girl as Member for Bengal, and a dear and bright young niece
+of mine as Member for the United States--for I do not represent a country
+myself, but am merely Member at Large for the Human Race.
+
+You must not try to resign, for the laws of the Club do not allow that.
+You must console yourself by remembering that you are in the best of
+company; that nobody knows of your membership except myself--that no
+Member knows another's name, but only her country; that no taxes are
+levied and no meetings held (but how dearly I should like to attend
+one!).
+
+One of my Members is a Princess of a royal house, another is the daughter
+of a village book-seller on the continent of Europe. For the only
+qualification for Membership is intellect and the spirit of good will;
+other distinctions, hereditary or acquired, do not count.
+
+May I send you the Constitution and Laws of the Club? I shall be so
+pleased if I may. It is a document which one of my daughters typewrites
+for me when I need one for a new Member, and she would give her eyebrows
+to know what it is all about, but I strangle her curiosity by saying:
+"There are much cheaper typewriters than you are, my dear, and if you try
+to pry into the sacred mysteries of this Club one of your prosperities
+will perish sure."
+
+My favorite? It is "Joan of Arc." My next is "Huckleberry Finn," but
+the family's next is "The Prince and the Pauper." (Yes, you are right--
+I am a moralist in disguise; it gets me into heaps of trouble when I go
+thrashing around in political questions.)
+
+I wish you every good fortune and happiness and I thank you so much for
+your letter.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ Early in the year Clemens paid a visit to Twichell in Hartford, and
+ after one of their regular arguments on theology and the moral
+ accountability of the human race, arguments that had been going on
+ between them for more than thirty years--Twichell lent his visitor
+ Freedom of the Will, by Jonathan Edwards, to read on the way home.
+ The next letter was the result.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ RIVERDALE-ON-THE-HUDSON.
+ Feb. '02.
+DEAR JOE,--"After compliments."--[Meaning "What a good time you gave me;
+what a happiness it was to be under your roof again; etc., etc." See
+opening sentence of all translations of letters passing between Lord
+Roberts and Indian princes and rulers.]--From Bridgeport to New York;
+thence to home; and continuously until near midnight I wallowed and
+reeked with Jonathan in his insane debauch; rose immediately refreshed
+and fine at 10 this morning, but with a strange and haunting sense of
+having been on a three days' tear with a drunken lunatic. It is years
+since I have known these sensations. All through the book is the glaze
+of a resplendent intellect gone mad--a marvelous spectacle. No, not all
+through the book--the drunk does not come on till the last third, where
+what I take to be Calvinism and its God begins to show up and shine red
+and hideous in the glow from the fires of hell, their only right and
+proper adornment. By God I was ashamed to be in such company.
+
+Jonathan seems to hold (as against the Arminian position) that the Man
+(or his Soul or his Will) never creates an impulse itself, but is moved
+to action by an impulse back of it. That's sound!
+
+Also, that of two or more things offered it, it infallibly chooses the
+one which for the moment is most pleasing to ITSELF. Perfectly correct!
+An immense admission for a man not otherwise sane.
+
+Up to that point he could have written chapters III and IV of my
+suppressed "Gospel." But there we seem to separate. He seems to concede
+the indisputable and unshakable dominion of Motive and Necessity (call
+them what he may, these are exterior forces and not under the man's
+authority, guidance or even suggestion)--then he suddenly flies the logic
+track and (to all seeming) makes the man and not these exterior forces
+responsible to God for the man's thoughts, words and acts. It is frank
+insanity.
+
+I think that when he concedes the autocratic dominion of Motive and
+Necessity he grants, a third position of mine--that a man's mind is a
+mere machine--an automatic machine--which is handled entirely from the
+outside, the man himself furnishing it absolutely nothing: not an ounce
+of its fuel, and not so much as a bare suggestion to that exterior
+engineer as to what the machine shall do, nor how it shall do it nor
+when.
+
+After that concession, it was time for him to get alarmed and shirk--for
+he was pointing straight for the only rational and possible next-station
+on that piece of road the irresponsibility of man to God.
+
+And so he shirked. Shirked, and arrived at this handsome result:
+
+Man is commanded to do so-and-so. It has been ordained from the
+beginning of time that some men shan't and others can't.
+
+These are to be blamed: let them be damned.
+
+I enjoy the Colonel very much, and shall enjoy the rest of him with an
+obscene delight.
+ Joe, the whole tribe shout love to you and yours!
+ MARK.
+
+
+ We have not heard of Joe Goodman since the trying days of '90 and
+ '91, when he was seeking to promote the fortunes of the type-setting
+ machine. Goodman, meantime, who had in turn been miner, printer,
+ publisher, and farmer; had been devoting his energies and genius to
+ something entirely new: he had been translating the prehistoric
+ Mayan inscriptions of Yucatan, and with such success that his work
+ was elaborately published by an association of British scientists.
+ In due time a copy of this publication came to Clemens, who was full
+ of admiration of the great achievement.
+
+
+ To J. T. Goodman, in California:
+
+ RIVERDALE-ON-THE-HUDSON,
+ June 13, '02.
+DEAR JOE,--I am lost in reverence and admiration! It is now twenty-four
+hours that I have been trying to cool down and contemplate with quiet
+blood this extraordinary spectacle of energy, industry, perseverance,
+pluck, analytical genius, penetration, this irruption of thunders and
+fiery splendors from a fair and flowery mountain that nobody had supposed
+was a sleeping volcano, but I seem to be as excited as ever. Yesterday
+I read as much as half of the book, not understanding a word but
+enchanted nevertheless--partly by the wonder of it all, the study, the
+erudition, the incredible labor, the modesty, the dignity, the majestic
+exclusiveness of the field and its lofty remoteness from things and
+contacts sordid and mean and earthy, and partly by the grace and beauty
+and limpidity of the book's unsurpassable English. Science, always great
+and worshipful, goes often in hodden grey, but you have clothed her in
+garments meet for her high degree.
+
+You think you get "poor pay" for your twenty years? No, oh no. You have
+lived in a paradise of the intellect whose lightest joys were beyond the
+reach of the longest purse in Christendom, you have had daily and nightly
+emancipation from the world's slaveries and gross interests, you have
+received a bigger wage than any man in the land, you have dreamed a
+splendid dream and had it come true, and to-day you could not afford to
+trade fortunes with anybody--not even with another scientist, for he must
+divide his spoil with his guild, whereas essentially the world you have
+discovered is your own and must remain so.
+
+It is all just magnificent, Joe! And no one is prouder or gladder than
+ Yours always
+ MARK.
+
+
+ At York Harbor, Maine, where they had taken a cottage for the
+ summer--a pretty place, with Howells not far distant, at Kittery
+ Point--Mrs. Clemens's health gave way. This was at a period when
+ telegraphic communication was far from reliable. The old-time
+ Western Union had fallen from grace; its "system" no longer
+ justified the best significance of that word. The new day of
+ reorganization was coming, and it was time for it. Mark Twain's
+ letter concerning the service at York Harbor would hardly be
+ warranted today, but those who remember conditions of that earlier
+ time will agree that it was justified then, and will appreciate its
+ satire.
+
+
+ To the President of The Western Union, in New York:
+
+ "THE PINES"
+ YORK HARBOR, MAINE.
+DEAR SIR,--I desire to make a complaint, and I bring it to you, the head
+of the company, because by experience I know better than to carry it to a
+subordinate.
+
+I have been here a month and a half, and by testimony of friends,
+reinforced by personal experience I now feel qualified to claim as an
+established fact that the telegraphic service here is the worst in the
+world except that Boston.
+
+These services are actually slower than was the New York and Hartford
+service in the days when I last complained to you--which was fifteen or
+eighteen years ago, when telegraphic time and train time between the
+mentioned points was exactly the same, to-wit, three hours and a half.
+Six days ago--it was that raw day which provoked so much comment--my
+daughter was on her way up from New York, and at noon she telegraphed me
+from New Haven asking that I meet her with a cloak at Portsmouth. Her
+telegram reached me four hours and a quarter later--just 15 minutes too
+late for me to catch my train and meet her.
+
+I judge that the telegram traveled about 200 miles. It is the best
+telegraphic work I have seen since I have been here, and I am mentioning
+it in this place not as a complaint but as a compliment. I think a
+compliment ought always to precede a complaint, where one is possible,
+because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous
+and gentle reception.
+
+Still, there is a detail or two connected with this matter which ought
+perhaps to be mentioned. And now, having smoothed the way with the
+compliment, I will venture them. The head corpse in the York Harbor
+office sent me that telegram altho (1) he knew it would reach me too late
+to be of any value; (2) also, that he was going to send it to me by his
+boy; (3) that the boy would not take the trolley and come the 2 miles in
+12 minutes, but would walk; (4) that he would be two hours and a quarter
+on the road; (5) and that he would collect 25 cents for transportation,
+for a telegram which the he knew to be worthless before he started it.
+From these data I infer that the Western Union owes me 75 cents; that is
+to say, the amount paid for combined wire and land transportation--
+a recoup provided for in the printed paragraph which heads the telegraph-
+blank.
+
+By these humane and Christian stages we now arrive at the complaint
+proper. We have had a grave case of illness in the family, and a
+relative was coming some six hundred miles to help in the sick-room
+during the convalescing period. It was an anxious time, of course,
+and I wrote and asked to be notified as to the hour of the expected
+arrival of this relative in Boston or in York Harbor. Being afraid of
+the telegraph--which I think ought not to be used in times of hurry and
+emergency--I asked that the desired message be brought to me by some
+swift method of transportation. By the milkman, if he was coming this
+way. But there are always people who think they know more than you do,
+especially young people; so of course the young fellow in charge of this
+lady used the telegraph. And at Boston, of all places! Except York
+Harbor.
+
+The result was as usual; let me employ a statelier and exacter term, and
+say, historical.
+
+The dispatch was handed to the h. c. of the Boston office at 9 this
+morning. It said, "Shall bring A. S. to you eleven forty-five this
+morning." The distance traveled by the dispatch is forty or fifty miles,
+I suppose, as the train-time is five minutes short of two hours, and the
+trains are so slow that they can't give a W. U. telegram two hours and
+twenty minutes start and overtake it.
+
+As I have said, the dispatch was handed in at Boston at 9. The expected
+visitors left Boston at 9.40, and reached my house at 12 noon, beating
+the telegram 2 solid hours, and 5 minutes over.
+
+The boy brought the telegram. It was bald-headed with age, but still
+legible. The boy was prostrate with travel and exposure, but still
+alive, and I went out to condole with him and get his last wishes and
+send for the ambulance. He was waiting to collect transportation before
+turning his passing spirit to less serious affairs. I found him
+strangely intelligent, considering his condition and where he is getting
+his training. I asked him at what hour the telegram was handed to the
+h. c. in Boston. He answered brightly, that he didn't know.
+
+I examined the blank, and sure enough the wary Boston h. c. had
+thoughtfully concealed that statistic. I asked him at what hour it had
+started from Boston. He answered up as brightly as ever, and said he
+didn't know.
+
+I examined the blank, and sure enough the Boston h. c. had left that
+statistic out in the cold, too. In fact it turned out to be an official
+concealment--no blank was provided for its exposure. And none required
+by the law, I suppose. "It is a good one-sided idea," I remarked;
+"They can take your money and ship your telegram next year if they want
+to--you've no redress. The law ought to extend the privilege to all of
+us."
+
+The boy looked upon me coldly.
+
+I asked him when the telegram reached York Harbor. He pointed to some
+figures following the signature at the bottom of the blank--"12.14.
+"I said it was now 1.45 and asked--
+
+"Do you mean that it reached your morgue an hour and a half ago?"
+
+He nodded assent.
+
+"It was at that time half an hour too late to be of any use to me, if I
+wanted to go and meet my people--which was the case--for by the wording
+of the message you can see that they were to arrive at the station at
+11.45. Why did, your h. c. send me this useless message? Can't he read?
+Is he dead?"
+
+"It's the rules."
+
+"No, that does not account for it. Would he have sent it if it had been
+three years old, I in the meantime deceased, and he aware of it?"
+
+The boy didn't know.
+
+"Because, you know, a rule which required him to forward to the cemetery
+to-day a dispatch due three years ago, would be as good a rule as one
+which should require him to forward a telegram to me to-day which he knew
+had lost all its value an hour or two before he started it. The
+construction of such a rule would discredit an idiot; in fact an idiot--
+I mean a common ordinary Christian idiot, you understand--would be
+ashamed of it, and for the sake of his reputation wouldn't make it. What
+do you think?"
+
+He replied with much natural brilliancy that he wasn't paid for thinking.
+
+This gave me a better opinion of the commercial intelligence pervading
+his morgue than I had had before; it also softened my feelings toward
+him, and also my tone, which had hitherto been tinged with bitterness.
+
+"Let bygones be bygones," I said, gently, "we are all erring creatures,
+and mainly idiots, but God made us so and it is dangerous to criticise."
+ Sincerely
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ One day there arrived from Europe a caller with a letter of
+ introduction from Elizabeth, Queen of Rumania, better known as
+ Carmen Sylva. The visitor was Madam Hartwig, formerly an American
+ girl, returning now, because of reduced fortunes, to find profitable
+ employment in her own land. Her husband, a man of high principle,
+ had declined to take part in an "affair of honor," as recognized by
+ the Continental code; hence his ruin. Elizabeth of Rumania was one
+ of the most loved and respected of European queens and an author of
+ distinction. Mark Twain had known her in Vienna. Her letter to him
+ and his own letter to the public (perhaps a second one, for its date
+ is two years later) follow herewith.
+
+
+ From Carmen Sylva to Mark Twain:
+
+ BUCAREST, May 9, 1902.
+HONORED MASTER,--If I venture to address you on behalf of a poor lady,
+who is stranded in Bucarest I hope not to be too disagreeable.
+
+Mrs. Hartwig left America at the age of fourteen in order to learn to
+sing which she has done thoroughly. Her husband had quite a brilliant
+situation here till he refused to partake 'dans une afaire onereuse',
+so it seems. They haven't a penny and each of them must try to find a
+living. She is very nice and pleasant and her school is so good that she
+most certainly can give excellent singing lessons.
+
+I beg your pardon for being a bore to one I so deeply love and admire,
+to whom I owe days and days of forgetfulness of self and troubles and the
+intensest of all joys: Hero-worship! People don't always realize what a
+happiness that is! God bless you for every beautiful thought you poured
+into my tired heart and for every smile on a weary way!
+
+ CARMEN SYLVA.
+
+
+ From Mark Twain to the Public:
+
+ Nov. 16, '04.
+TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,--I desire to recommend Madame Hartwig to my
+friends and the public as a teacher of singing and as a concert-vocalist.
+She has lived for fifteen years at the court of Roumania, and she brought
+with her to America an autograph letter in which her Majesty the Queen of
+Roumania cordially certified her to me as being an accomplished and
+gifted singer and teacher of singing, and expressed a warm hope that her
+professional venture among us would meet with success; through absence in
+Europe I have had no opportunity to test the validity of the Queen's
+judgment in the matter, but that judgment is the utterance of an entirely
+competent authority--the best that occupies a throne, and as good as any
+that sits elsewhere, as the musical world well knows--and therefore back
+it without hesitation, and endorse it with confidence.
+
+I will explain that the reason her Majesty tried to do her friend a
+friendly office through me instead of through someone else was, not that
+I was particularly the right or best person for the office, but because I
+was not a stranger. It is true that I am a stranger to some of the
+monarchs--mainly through their neglect of their opportunities--but such
+is not the case in the present instance. The latter fact is a high
+compliment to me, and perhaps I ought to conceal it. Some people would.
+
+ MARK TWAIN.
+
+
+
+
+ Mrs. Clemens's improvement was scarcely perceptible. It was not
+ until October that they were able to remove her to Riverdale, and
+ then only in a specially arranged invalid-car. At the end of the
+ long journey she was carried to her room and did not leave it again
+ for many months.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ RIVERDALE, N. Y., Oct. 31, '02.
+DEAR JOE,--It is ten days since Susy [Twichell] wrote that you were laid
+up with a sprained shoulder, since which time we have had no news about
+it. I hope that no news is good news, according to the proverb; still,
+authoritative confirmation of it will be gladly received in this family,
+if some of you will furnish it. Moreover, I should like to know how and
+where it happened. In the pulpit, as like as not, otherwise you would
+not be taking so much pains to conceal it. This is not a malicious
+suggestion, and not a personally-invented one: you told me yourself,
+once, that you threw artificial power and impressiveness into places in
+your sermons where needed, by "banging the bible"--(your own words.)
+You have reached a time of life when it is not wise to take these risks.
+You would better jump around. We all have to change our methods as the
+infirmities of age creep upon us. Jumping around will be impressive now,
+whereas before you were gray it would have excited remark.
+
+Poor Livy drags along drearily. It must be hard times for that turbulent
+spirit. It will be a long time before she is on her feet again. It is a
+most pathetic case. I wish I could transfer it to myself. Between
+ripping and raging and smoking and reading, I could get a good deal of a
+holiday out of it.
+
+Clara runs the house smoothly and capably. She is discharging a trial-
+cook today and hiring another.
+ A power of love to you all!
+ MARK.
+
+
+Such was the state of Mrs. Clemens's health that visitors were excluded
+from the sick room, and even Clemens himself was allowed to see her no
+more than a few moments at a time. These brief, precious visits were the
+chief interests of his long days. Occasionally he was allowed to send
+her a few lines, reporting his occupations, and these she was sometimes
+permitted to answer. Only one of his notes has been preserved, written
+after a day, now rare, of literary effort. Its signature, the letter Y,
+stands for "Youth," always her name for him.
+
+
+ To Mrs. Clemens:
+
+DEAR HEART,--I've done another full day's work, and finished before 4.
+I have been reading and dozing since and would have had a real sleep a
+few minutes ago but for an incursion to bring me a couple of unimportant
+letters. I've stuck to the bed all day and am getting back my lost
+ground. Next time I will be strictly careful and make my visit very
+short--just a kiss and a rush. Thank you for your dear, dear note; you
+who are my own and only sweetheart.
+ Sleep well!
+ Y.
+
+
+
+
+XLII
+
+LETTERS OF 1903. TO VARIOUS PERSONS. HARD DAYS AT RIVERDALE.
+LAST SUMMER AT ELMIRA. THE RETURN TO ITALY
+
+The reader may perhaps recall that H. H. Rogers, some five or six years
+earlier, had taken charge of the fortunes of Helen Keller, making it
+possible for her to complete her education. Helen had now written her
+first book--a wonderful book--'The Story of My Life', and it had been
+successfully published. For a later generation it may be proper to
+explain that the Miss Sullivan, later Mrs. Macy, mentioned in the letter
+which follows, was the noble woman who had devoted her life to the
+enlightenment of this blind, dumb girl--had made it possible for her to
+speak and understand, and, indeed, to see with the eyes of luminous
+imagination.
+
+The case of plagiarism mentioned in this letter is not now remembered,
+and does not matter, but it furnished a text for Mark Twain, whose
+remarks on the subject in general are eminently worth while.
+
+
+ To Helen Keller, in Wrentham, Mass.:
+
+ RIVERDALE-ON-THE-HUDSON,
+ ST. PATRICK'S DAY, '03.
+DEAR HELEN,--I must steal half a moment from my work to say how glad I am
+to have your book, and how highly I value it, both for its own sake and
+as a remembrances of an affectionate friendship which has subsisted
+between us for nine years without a break, and without a single act of
+violence that I can call to mind. I suppose there is nothing like it in
+heaven; and not likely to be, until we get there and show off. I often
+think of it with longing, and how they'll say, "There they come--sit
+down in front!" I am practicing with a tin halo. You do the same. I was
+at Henry Rogers's last night, and of course we talked of you. He is not
+at all well; you will not like to hear that; but like you and me, he is
+just as lovely as ever.
+
+I am charmed with your book-enchanted. You are a wonderful creature,
+the most wonderful in the world--you and your other half together--
+Miss Sullivan, I mean, for it took the pair of you to make a complete
+and perfect whole. How she stands out in her letters! her brilliancy,
+penetration, originality, wisdom, character, and the fine literary
+competencies of her pen--they are all there.
+
+Oh, dear me, how unspeakably funny and owlishly idiotic and grotesque was
+that "plagiarism" farce! As if there was much of anything in any human
+utterance, oral or written, except plagiarism! The kernal, the soul--let
+us go further and say the substance, the bulk, the actual and valuable
+material of all human utterances--is plagiarism. For substantially all
+ideas are second-hand, consciously and unconsciously drawn from a million
+outside sources, and daily used by the garnerer with a pride and
+satisfaction born of the superstition that he originated them; whereas
+there is not a rag of originality about them anywhere except the little
+discoloration they get from his mental and moral calibre and his
+temperament, and which is revealed in characteristics of phrasing. When
+a great orator makes a great speech you are listening to ten centuries
+and ten thousand men--but we call it his speech, and really some
+exceedingly small portion of it is his. But not enough to signify. It
+is merely a Waterloo. It is Wellington's battle, in some degree, and we
+call it his; but there are others that contributed. It takes a thousand
+men to invent a telegraph, or a steam engine, or a phonograph, or a
+photograph, or a telephone or any other important thing--and the last man
+gets the credit and we forget the others. He added his little mite--that
+is all he did. These object lessons should teach us that ninety-nine
+parts of all things that proceed from the intellect are plagiarisms, pure
+and simple; and the lesson ought to make us modest. But nothing can do
+that.
+
+Then why don't we unwittingly reproduce the phrasing of a story, as well
+as the story itself? It can hardly happen--to the extent of fifty words
+except in the case of a child: its memory-tablet is not lumbered with
+impressions, and the actual language can have graving-room there, and
+preserve the language a year or two, but a grown person's memory-tablet
+is a palimpsest, with hardly a bare space upon which to engrave a phrase.
+It must be a very rare thing that a whole page gets so sharply printed
+upon a man's mind, by a single reading, that it will stay long enough to
+turn up some time or other and be mistaken by him for his own. No doubt
+we are constantly littering our literature with disconnected sentences
+borrowed from books at some unremembered time and now imagined to be our
+own, but that is about the most we can do. In 1866 I read Dr. Holmes's
+poems, in the Sandwich Islands. A year and a half later I stole his
+dictation, without knowing it, and used it to dedicate my "Innocents
+Abroad" with. Then years afterwards I was talking with Dr. Holmes about
+it. He was not an ignorant ass--no, not he: he was not a collection of
+decayed human turnips, like your "Plagiarism Court;" and so when I said,
+"I know now where I stole it, but whom did you steal it from," he said,
+"I don't remember; I only know I stole it from somebody, because I have
+never originated anything altogether myself, nor met anybody who had."
+
+To think of those solemn donkeys breaking a little child's heart with
+their ignorant rubbish about plagiarism! I couldn't sleep for
+blaspheming about it last night. Why, their whole lives, their whole
+histories, all their learning, all their thoughts, all their opinions
+were one solid ruck of plagiarism, and they didn't know it and never
+suspected it. A gang of dull and hoary pirates piously setting
+themselves the task of disciplining and purifying a kitten that they
+think they've caught filching a chop! Oh, dam--
+
+But you finish it, dear, I am running short of vocabulary
+today. Ever lovingly your friend,
+ MARK.
+
+(Edited and modified by Clara Clemens, deputy to her mother, who for more
+than 7 months has been ill in bed and unable to exercise her official
+function.)
+
+
+ The burden of the Clemens household had fallen almost entirely upon
+ Clara Clemens. In addition to supervising its customary affairs,
+ she also shouldered the responsibility of an unusual combination of
+ misfortunes, for besides the critical condition of her mother, her
+ sister, Jean Clemens, was down with pneumonia, no word of which must
+ come to Mrs. Clemens. Certainly it was a difficult position. In
+ some account of it, which he set down later, Clemens wrote: "It was
+ fortunate for us all that Clara's reputation for truthfulness was so
+ well established in her mother's mind. It was our daily protection
+ from disaster. The mother never doubted Clara's word. Clara could
+ tell her large improbabilities without exciting any suspicion,
+ whereas if I tried to market even a small and simple one the case
+ would have been different. I was never able to get a reputation
+ like Clara's."
+
+ The accumulation of physical ailments in the Clemens home had
+ somewhat modified Mark Twain's notion of medical practice. He was
+ no longer radical; he had become eclectic. It is a good deal of a
+ concession that he makes to Twichell, after those earlier letters
+ from Sweden, in which osteopathy had been heralded as the anodyne
+ for all human ills.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+DEAR JOE,--Livy does really make a little progress these past 3 or 4
+days, progress which is visible to even the untrained eye. The
+physicians are doing good work with her, but my notion is, that no art of
+healing is the best for all ills. I should distribute the ailments
+around: surgery cases to the surgeons; lupus to the actinic-ray
+specialist; nervous prostration to the Christian Scientist; most ills to
+the allopath and the homeopath; (in my own particular case) rheumatism,
+gout and bronchial attacks to the osteopathist.
+
+Mr. Rogers was to sail southward this morning--and here is this weather!
+I am sorry. I think it's a question if he gets away tomorrow.
+ Ys Ever
+ MARK.
+
+
+ It was through J. Y. M. MacAlister, to whom the next letter is
+ written, that Mark Twain had become associated with the Plasmon
+ Company, which explains the reference to "shares." He had seen much
+ of MacAlister during the winter at Tedworth Square, and had grown
+ fond of him. It is a characteristic letter, and one of interesting
+ fact.
+
+
+ To J. Y. M. MacAlister, in London:
+
+ RIVERDALE, NEW YORK.
+ April, 7, '03.
+DEAR MACALISTER,--Yours arrived last night, and God knows I was glad to
+get it, for I was afraid I had blundered into an offence in some way and
+forfeited your friendship--a kind of blunder I have made so many times in
+my life that I am always standing in a waiting and morbid dread of its
+occurrence.
+
+Three days ago I was in condition--during one horribly long night--to
+sympathetically roast with you in your "hell of troubles." During that
+night I was back again where I was in the black days when I was buried
+under a mountain of debt. I called the daughters to me in private
+council and paralysed them with the announcement, "Our outgo has
+increased in the past 8 months until our expenses are now 125 per cent.
+greater than our income."
+
+It was a mistake. When I came down in the morning a gray and aged wreck,
+and went over the figures again, I found that in some unaccountable way
+(unaccountable to a business man but not to me) I had multiplied the
+totals by 2. By God I dropped 75 years on the floor where I stood.
+
+Do you know it affected me as one is affected when he wakes out of a
+hideous dream and finds that it was only a dream. It was a great comfort
+and satisfaction to me to call the daughters to a private meeting of the
+Board again and say, "You need not worry any more; our outgo is only a
+third more than our income; in a few months your mother will be out of
+her bed and on her feet again--then we shall drop back to normal and be
+all right."
+
+Certainly there is a blistering and awful reality about a well-arranged
+unreality. It is quite within the possibilities that two or three nights
+like that night of mine could drive a man to suicide. He would refuse to
+examine the figures; they would revolt him so, and he could go to his
+death unaware that there was nothing serious about them. I cannot get
+that night out of my head, it was so vivid, so real, so ghastly. In any
+other year of these 33 the relief would have been simple: go where you
+can cut your cloth to fit your income. You can't do that when your wife
+can't be moved, even from one room to the next.
+
+Clam spells the trained nurse afternoons; I am allowed to see Mrs.
+Clemens 20 minutes twice a day and write her two letters a day provided I
+put no news in them. No other person ever sees her except the physician
+and now and then a nerve-specialist from New York. She saw there was
+something the matter that morning, but she got no facts out of me. But
+that is nothing--she hasn't had anything but lies for 8 months. A fact
+would give her a relapse.
+
+The doctor and a specialist met in conspiracy five days ago, and in their
+belief she will by and by come out of this as good as new, substantially.
+They ordered her to Italy for next winter--which seems to indicate that
+by autumn she will be able to undertake the voyage. So Clara is writing
+a Florence friend to take a look round among the villas for us in the
+regions near that city. It seems early to do this, but Joan Bergheim
+thought it would be wise.
+
+He and his wife lunched with us here yesterday. They have been abroad in
+Havana 4 months, and they sailed for England this morning.
+
+I am enclosing an order for half of my (your) Founders shares. You are
+not to refuse them this time, though you have done it twice before. They
+are yours, not mine, and for your family's sake if not your own you
+cannot in these cloudy days renounce this property which is so clearly
+yours and theirs. You have been generous long enough; be just, now to
+yourself. Mr. Rogers is off yachting for 5 or 6 weeks--I'll get them
+when he returns. The head of the house joins me in warmest greetings and
+remembrances to you and Mrs. MacAlister.
+ Ever yours,
+ Mark.
+
+May 8. Great Scott! I never mailed this letter! I addressed it, put
+"Registered" on it--then left it lying unsealed on the arm of my chair,
+and rushed up to my bed quaking with a chill. I've never been out of the
+bed since--oh, bronchitis, rheumatism, two sets of teeth aching, land,
+I've had a dandy time for 4 weeks. And to-day--great guns, one of the
+very worst! . . .
+
+I'm devilish sorry, and I do apologise--for although I am not as slow as
+you are about answering letters, as a rule, I see where I'm standing this
+time.
+
+Two weeks ago Jean was taken down again--this time with measles, and I
+haven't been able to go to her and she hasn't been able to come to me.
+
+But Mrs. Clemens is making nice progress, and can stand alone a moment or
+two at a time.
+
+Now I'll post this.
+ MARK
+
+
+ The two letters that follow, though written only a few days apart,
+ were separated in their arrival by a period of seven years. The
+ second letter was, in some way, mislaid and not mailed; and it was
+ not until after the writer of it was dead that it was found and
+ forwarded.
+
+ Mark Twain could never get up much enthusiasm for the writings of
+ Scott. His praise of Quentin Durward is about the only approval he
+ ever accorded to the works of the great romanticist.
+
+
+ To Brander Matthews, in New York:
+
+ NEW YORK CITY, May 4, '03.
+DEAR BRANDER,--I haven't been out of my bed for four weeks, but--well, I
+have been reading, a good deal, and it occurs to me to ask you to sit
+down, some time or other when you have 8 or 9 months to spare, and jot me
+down a certain few literary particulars for my help and elevation. Your
+time need not be thrown away, for at your further leisure you can make
+Colombian lectures out of the results and do your students a good turn.
+
+1. Are there in Sir Walter's novels passages done in good English--
+English which is neither slovenly or involved?
+
+2. Are there passages whose English is not poor and thin and
+commonplace, but is of a quality above that?
+
+3. Are there passages which burn with real fire--not punk, fox-fire,
+make believe?
+
+4. Has he heroes and heroines who are not cads and cadesses?
+
+5. Has he personages whose acts and talk correspond with their
+characters as described by him?
+
+6. Has he heroes and heroines whom the reader admires, admires, and
+knows why?
+
+7. Has he funny characters that are funny, and humorous passages that
+are humorous?
+
+8. Does he ever chain the reader's interest, and make him reluctant to
+lay the book down?
+
+9. Are there pages where he ceases from posing, ceases from admiring the
+placid flood and flow of his own dilutions, ceases from being artificial,
+and is for a time, long or short, recognizably sincere and in earnest?
+
+10. Did he know how to write English, and didn't do it because he didn't
+want to?
+
+11. Did he use the right word only when he couldn't think of another
+one, or did he run so much to wrong because he didn't know the right one
+when he saw it?
+
+13. Can you read him? and keep your respect for him? Of course a
+person could in his day--an era of sentimentality and sloppy romantics--
+but land! can a body do it today?
+
+Brander, I lie here dying, slowly dying, under the blight of Sir Walter.
+I have read the first volume of Rob Roy, and as far as chapter XIX of Guy
+Mannering, and I can no longer hold my head up nor take my nourishment.
+Lord, it's all so juvenile! so artificial, so shoddy; and such wax
+figures and skeletons and spectres. Interest? Why, it is impossible to
+feel an interest in these bloodless shams, these milk-and-water humbugs.
+And oh, the poverty of the invention! Not poverty in inventing
+situations, but poverty in furnishing reasons for them. Sir Walter
+usually gives himself away when he arranges for a situation--elaborates,
+and elaborates, and elaborates, till if you live to get to it you don't
+believe in it when it happens.
+
+I can't find the rest of Rob Roy, I can't stand any more Mannering--I do
+not know just what to do, but I will reflect, and not quit this great
+study rashly. He was great, in his day, and to his proper audience; and
+so was God in Jewish times, for that matter, but why should either of
+them rank high now? And do they?--honest, now, do they? Dam'd if I
+believe it.
+
+My, I wish I could see you and Leigh Hunt!
+` Sincerely Yours
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ To Brander Matthews, in New York:
+
+ RIVERDALE, May 8,'03 (Mailed June, 1910).
+DEAR BRANDER,--I'm still in bed, but the days have lost their dulness
+since I broke into Sir Walter and lost my temper. I finished Guy
+Mannering--that curious, curious book, with its mob of squalid shadows
+jabbering around a single flesh-and-blood being--Dinmont; a book crazily
+put together out of the very refuse of the romance-artist's stage
+properties--finished it and took up Quentin Durward, and finished that.
+
+It was like leaving the dead to mingle with the living: it was like
+withdrawing from the infant class in the College of journalism to sit
+under the lectures in English literature in Columbia University.
+
+I wonder who wrote Quentin Durward?
+ Yrs ever
+ MARK.
+
+
+ In 1903, preparations were going on for a great world's fair, to be
+ held in St. Louis, and among other features proposed was a World's
+ Literary Convention, with a week to be set apart in honor of Mark
+ Twain, and a special Mark Twain Day in it, on which the National
+ Association would hold grand services in honor of the distinguished
+ Missourian. A letter asking his consent to the plan brought the
+ following reply.
+
+
+ To T. F. Gatts, of Missouri:
+
+ NEW YORK, May 30, 1903.
+DEAR MR. GATTS,--It is indeed a high compliment which you offer me in
+naming an association after me and in proposing the setting apart of a
+Mark Twain day at the great St. Louis fair, but such compliments are not
+proper for the living; they are proper and safe for the dead only. I
+value the impulse which moves you to tender me these honors. I value it
+as highly as any one can, and am grateful for it, but I should stand in a
+sort of terror of the honors themselves. So long as we remain alive we
+are not safe from doing things which, however righteously and honorably
+intended, can wreck our repute and extinguish our friendships.
+
+I hope that no society will be named for me while I am still alive, for I
+might at some time or other do something which would cause its members to
+regret having done me that honor. After I shall have joined the dead I
+shall follow the customs of those people and be guilty of no conduct that
+can wound any friend; but until that time shall come I shall be a
+doubtful quantity like the rest of our race.
+ Very truly yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ The National Mark Twain Association did not surrender easily. Mr.
+ Gatts wrote a second letter full of urgent appeal. If Mark Twain
+ was tempted, we get no hint of it in his answer.
+
+
+ To T. F. Gatts, of Missouri:
+
+ NEW YORK, June 8, 1903.
+DEAR MR. GATTS,--While I am deeply touched by the desire of my friends of
+Hannibal to confer these great honors upon me, I must still forbear to
+accept them. Spontaneous and unpremeditated honors, like those which
+came to me at Hannibal, Columbia, St. Louis and at the village stations
+all down the line, are beyond all price and are a treasure for life in
+the memory, for they are a free gift out of the heart and they come
+without solicitations; but I am a Missourian and so I shrink from
+distinctions which have to be arranged beforehand and with my privity,
+for I then became a party to my own exalting. I am humanly fond of
+honors that happen but chary of those that come by canvass and intention.
+With sincere thanks to you and your associates for this high compliment
+which you have been minded to offer me, I am,
+ Very truly yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ We have seen in the letter to MacAlister that Mark Twain's wife had
+ been ordered to Italy and plans were in progress for an
+ establishment there. By the end of June Mrs. Clemens was able to
+ leave Riverdale, and she made the journey to Quarry Farm, Elmira,
+ where they would remain until October, the month planned for their
+ sailing. The house in Hartford had been sold; and a house which,
+ prior to Mrs. Clemens's breakdown they had bought near Tarrytown
+ (expecting to settle permanently on the Hudson) had been let. They
+ were going to Europe for another indefinite period.
+
+ At Quarry Farm Mrs. Clemens continued to improve, and Clemens, once
+ more able to work, occupied the study which Mrs. Crane had built for
+ him thirty years before, and where Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn and the
+ Wandering Prince had been called into being.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford, Conn.:
+
+ QUARRY FARM, ELMIRA, N. Y.,
+ July 21, '03.
+DEAR JOE,--That love-letter delighted Livy beyond any like utterance
+received by her these thirty years and more. I was going to answer it
+for her right away, and said so; but she reserved the privilege to
+herself. I judge she is accumulating Hot Stuff--as George Ade would say
+. . . .
+
+Livy is coming along: eats well, sleeps some, is mostly very gay, not
+very often depressed; spends all day on the porch, sleeps there a part of
+the night, makes excursions in carriage and in wheel-chair; and, in the
+matter of superintending everything and everybody, has resumed business
+at the old stand.
+
+Did you ever go house-hunting 3,000 miles away? It costs three months of
+writing and telegraphing to pull off a success. We finished 3 or 4 days
+ago, and took the Villa Papiniano (dam the name, I have to look at it a
+minutes after writing it, and then am always in doubt) for a year by
+cable. Three miles outside of Florence, under Fiesole--a darling
+location, and apparently a choice house, near Fiske.
+
+There's 7 in our gang. All women but me. It means trunks and things.
+But thanks be! To-day (this is private) comes a most handsome voluntary
+document with seals and escutcheons on it from the Italian Ambassador
+(who is a stranger to me) commanding the Customs people to keep their
+hands off the Clemens's things. Now wasn't it lovely of him? And wasn't
+it lovely of me to let Livy take a pencil and edit my answer and knock a
+good third of it out?
+
+And that's a nice ship--the Irene! new--swift--13,000 tons--rooms up in
+the sky, open to sun and air--and all that. I was desperately troubled
+for Livy--about the down-cellar cells in the ancient "Latin."
+
+The cubs are in Riverdale, yet; they come to us the first week in August.
+ With lots and lots of love to you all,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ The arrangement for the Villa Papiniano was not completed, after
+ all, and through a good friend, George Gregory Smith, a resident of
+ Florence, the Villa Quarto, an ancient home of royalty, on the hills
+ west of Florence, was engaged. Smith wrote that it was a very
+ beautiful place with a south-eastern exposure, looking out toward
+ Valombrosa and the Chianti Hills. It had extensive grounds and
+ stables, and the annual rental for it all was two thousand dollars a
+ year. It seemed an ideal place, in prospect, and there was great
+ hope that Mrs. Clemens would find her health once more in the
+ Italian climate which she loved.
+
+ Perhaps at this point, when Mark Twain is once more leaving America,
+ we may offer two letters from strangers to him--letters of
+ appreciation--such as he was constantly receiving from those among
+ the thousands to whom he had given happiness. The first is from
+ Samuel Merwin, one day to become a popular novelist, then in the
+ hour of his beginnings.
+
+
+ To Mark Twain, from Samuel Merwin:
+
+ PLAINFIELD, N. J.
+ August 4, 1903.
+DEAR MR. CLEMENS,--For a good many years I have been struggling with the
+temptation to write you and thank you for the work you have done; and to-
+day I seem to be yielding.
+
+During the past two years I have been reading through a group of writers
+who seem to me to represent about the best we have--Sir Thomas Malory,
+Spenser, Shakespeare, Boswell, Carlyle, Le Sage. In thinking over one
+and then another, and then all of them together, it was plain to see why
+they were great men and writers: each brought to his time some new blood,
+new ideas,--turned a new current into the stream. I suppose there have
+always been the careful, painstaking writers, the men who are always
+taken so seriously by their fellow craftsmen. It seems to be the
+unconventional man who is so rare--I mean the honestly unconventional
+man, who has to express himself in his own big way because the
+conventional way isn't big enough, because ne needs room and freedom.
+
+We have a group of the more or less conventional men now--men of dignity
+and literary position. But in spite of their influence and of all the
+work they have done, there isn't one of them to whom one can give one's
+self up without reservation, not one whose ideas seem based on the deep
+foundation of all true philosophy,--except Mark Twain.
+
+I hope this letter is not an impertinence. I have just been turning
+about, with my head full of Spenser and Shakespeare and "Gil Blas,"
+looking for something in our own present day literature to which I could
+surrender myself as to those five gripping old writings. And nothing
+could I find until I took up "Life on the Mississippi," and "Huckleberry
+Finn," and, just now, the "Connecticut Yankee." It isn't the first time
+I have read any of these three, and it's because I know it won't be the
+last, because these books are the only ones written in my lifetime that
+claim my unreserved interest and admiration and, above all, my feelings,
+that I've felt I had to write this letter.
+
+I like to think that "Tom Sawyer" and "Huckleberry Finn" will be looked
+upon, fifty or a hundred years from now, as the picture of buoyant,
+dramatic, human American life. I feel, deep in my own heart, pretty sure
+that they will be. They won't be looked on then as the work of a
+"humorist" any more than we think of Shakespeare as a humorist now.
+I don't mean by this to set up a comparison between Mark Twain and
+Shakespeare: I don't feel competent to do it; and I'm not at all sure
+that it could be done until Mark Twain's work shall have its fair share
+of historical perspective. But Shakespeare was a humorist and so, thank
+Heaven! is Mark Twain. And Shakespeare plunged deep into the deep, sad
+things of life; and so, in a different way (but in a way that has more
+than once brought tears to my eyes) has Mark Twain. But after all, it
+isn't because of any resemblance for anything that was ever before
+written that Mark Twain's books strike in so deep: it's rather because
+they've brought something really new into our literature--new, yet old as
+Adam and Eve and the Apple. And this achievement, the achievement of
+putting something into literature that was not there before, is, I should
+think, the most that any writer can ever hope to do. It is the one mark
+of distinction between the "lonesome" little group of big men and the
+vast herd of medium and small ones. Anyhow, this much I am sure of--to
+the young man who hopes, however feebly, to accomplish a little
+something, someday, as a writer, the one inspiring example of our time is
+Mark Twain.
+ Very truly yours,
+ SAMUEL MERWIN.
+
+
+Mark Twain once said he could live a month on a good compliment, and from
+his reply, we may believe this one to belong in, that class.
+
+
+ To Samuel Merwin, in Plainfield, N. J.:
+
+ Aug. 16, '03.
+DEAR MR. MERWIN,--What you have said has given me deep pleasure--indeed I
+think no words could be said that could give me more.
+ Very sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ The next "compliment" is from one who remains unknown, for she
+ failed to sign her name in full. But it is a lovely letter, and
+ loses nothing by the fact that the writer of it was willing to
+ remain in obscurity.
+
+
+ To Mark Twain, from Margaret M----:
+
+ PORTLAND, OREGON
+ Aug. 18, 1903.
+MY DEAR, DEAR MARK TWAIN,--May a little girl write and tell you how
+dearly she loves and admires your writings? Well, I do and I want to
+tell you your ownself. Don't think me too impertinent for indeed I don't
+mean to be that! I have read everything of yours that I could get and
+parts that touch me I have read over and over again. They seem such dear
+friends to me, so like real live human beings talking and laughing,
+working and suffering too! One cannot but feel that it is your own life
+and experience that you have painted. So do not wonder that you seem a
+dear friend to me who has never even seen you. I often think of you as
+such in my own thoughts. I wonder if you will laugh when I tell you I
+have made a hero of you? For when people seem very sordid and mean and
+stupid (and it seems as if everybody was) then the thought will come like
+a little crumb of comfort "well, Mark Twain isn't anyway." And it does
+really brighten me up.
+
+You see I have gotten an idea that you are a great, bright spirit of
+kindness and tenderness. One who can twist everybody's-even your own-
+faults and absurdities into hearty laughs. Even the person mocked must
+laugh! Oh, Dear! How often you have made me laugh! And yet as often
+you have struck something infinite away down deep in my heart so that I
+want to cry while half laughing!
+
+So this all means that I want to thank you and to tell you. "God always
+love Mark Twain!" is often my wish. I dearly love to read books, and I
+never tire of reading yours; they always have a charm for me. Good-bye,
+I am afraid I have not expressed what I feel. But at least I have tried.
+ Sincerely yours.
+ MARGARET M.----
+
+
+ Clemens and family left Elmira October the 5th for New York City.
+ They remained at the Hotel Grosvenor until their sailing date,
+ October 24th. A few days earlier, Mr. Frank Doubleday sent a volume
+ of Kipling's poems and de Blowitz's Memoirs for entertainment on the
+ ship. Mark Twain's acknowledgment follows.
+
+
+ To F. N. Doubleday, in New York:
+
+ THE GROSVENOR,
+ October 12, '03.
+DEAR DOUBLEDAY,--The books came--ever so many thanks. I have been
+reading "The Bell Buoy" and "The Old Men" over and over again--my custom
+with Kipling's work-and saving up the rest for other leisurely and
+luxurious meals. A bell-buoy is a deeply impressive fellow-being. In
+these many recent trips up and down the Sound in the Kanawha--
+[Mr. Rogers's yacht.]--he has talked to me nightly, sometimes in his
+pathetic and melancholy way, sometimes with his strenuous and urgent
+note, and I got his meaning--now I have his words! No one but Kipling
+could do this strong and vivid thing. Some day I hope to hear the poem
+chanted or sung--with the bell-buoy breaking in, out of the distance.
+
+"The Old Men," delicious, isn't it? And so comically true. I haven't
+arrived there yet, but I suppose I am on the way....
+ Yours ever,
+ MARK.
+
+P. S. Your letter has arrived. It makes me proud and glad--what Kipling
+says. I hope Fate will fetch him to Florence while we are there.
+I would rather see him than any other man.
+
+We've let the Tarrytown house for a year. Man, you would never have
+believed a person could let a house in these times. That one's for sale,
+the Hartford one is sold. When we buy again may we--may I--be damned....
+
+I've dipped into Blowitz and find him quaintly and curiously interesting.
+I think he tells the straight truth, too. I knew him a little, 23 years
+ago.
+
+ The appreciative word which Kipling had sent Doubleday was: "I love
+ to think of the great and God-like Clemens. He is the biggest man
+ you have on your side of the water by a damn sight, and don't you
+ forget it. Cervantes was a relation of his."
+
+
+
+
+XLIII
+
+LETTERS OF 1904. TO VARIOUS PERSONS. LIFE IN VILLA QUARTO. DEATH OF
+MRS. CLEMENS. THE RETURN TO AMERICA
+
+Mrs. Clemens stood the voyage to Italy very well and, in due time, the
+family were installed in the Villa Reale di Quarto, the picturesque old
+Palace of Cosimo, a spacious, luxurious place, even if not entirely
+cheerful or always comfortable during the changeable Tuscan winter.
+Congratulated in a letter from MacAlister in being in the midst of
+Florentine sunshine, he answered: "Florentine sunshine? Bless you, there
+isn't any. We have heavy fogs every morning, and rain all day. This
+house is not merely large, it is vast--therefore I think it must always
+lack the home feeling."
+
+Neither was their landlady, the American wife of an Italian count, all
+that could be desired. From a letter to Twichell, however, we learn that
+Mark Twain's work was progressing well.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO,
+ FLORENCE, Jan. 7, '04.
+DEAR JOE,--. . . I have had a handsome success, in one way, here.
+I left New York under a sort of half promise to furnish to the Harper
+magazines 30,000 words this year. Magazining is difficult work because
+every third page represents 2 pages that you have put in the fire;
+(because you are nearly sure to start wrong twice) and so when you have
+finished an article and are willing to let it go to print it represents
+only 10 cents a word instead of 30.
+
+But this time I had the curious (and unprecedented) luck to start right
+in each case. I turned out 37,000 words in 25 working days; and the
+reason I think I started right every time is, that not only have I
+approved and accepted the several articles, but the court of last resort
+(Livy) has done the same.
+
+On many of the between-days I did some work, but only of an idle and not
+necessarily necessary sort, since it will not see print until I am dead.
+I shall continue this (an hour per day) but the rest of the year I expect
+to put in on a couple of long books (half-completed ones.) No more
+magazine-work hanging over my head.
+
+This secluded and silent solitude this clean, soft air and this
+enchanting view of Florence, the great valley and the snow-mountains that
+frame it are the right conditions for work. They are a persistent
+inspiration. To-day is very lovely; when the afternoon arrives there
+will be a new picture every hour till dark, and each of them divine--or
+progressing from divine to diviner and divinest. On this (second) floor
+Clara's room commands the finest; she keeps a window ten feet high wide
+open all the time and frames it in. I go in from time to time, every day
+and trade sass for a look. The central detail is a distant and stately
+snow-hump that rises above and behind blackforested hills, and its
+sloping vast buttresses, velvety and sun-polished with purple shadows
+between, make the sort of picture we knew that time we walked in
+Switzerland in the days of our youth.
+
+I wish I could show your letter to Livy--but she must wait a week or so
+for it. I think I told you she had a prostrating week of tonsilitis a
+month ago; she has remained very feeble ever since, and confined to the
+bed of course, but we allow ourselves to believe she will regain the lost
+ground in another month. Her physician is Professor Grocco--she could
+not have a better. And she has a very good trained nurse.
+
+Love to all of you from all of us. And to all of our dear Hartford
+friends.
+ MARK
+
+P. S. 3 days later.
+
+Livy is as remarkable as ever. The day I wrote you--that night, I mean--
+she had a bitter attack of gout or rheumatism occupying the whole left
+arm from shoulder to fingers, accompanied by fever. The pains racked her
+50 or 6o hours; they have departed, now--and already she is planning a
+trip to Egypt next fall, and a winter's sojourn there! This is life in
+her yet.
+
+You will be surprised that I was willing to do so much magazine-writing--
+a thing I have always been chary about--but I had good reasons. Our
+expenses have been so prodigious for a year and a half, and are still so
+prodigious, that Livy was worrying altogether too much about them, and
+doing a very dangerous amount of lying awake on their account. It was
+necessary to stop that, and it is now stopped.
+
+Yes, she is remarkable, Joe. Her rheumatic attack set me to cursing and
+swearing, without limit as to time or energy, but it merely concentrated
+her patience and her unconquerable fortitude. It is the difference
+between us. I can't count the different kinds of ailments which have
+assaulted her in this fiendish year and a half--and I forgive none of
+them--but here she comes up again as bright and fresh and enterprising as
+ever, and goes to planning about Egypt, with a hope and a confidence
+which are to me amazing.
+
+Clara is calling for me--we have to go into town and pay calls.
+
+ MARK.
+
+
+ In Florence, that winter, Clemens began dictating to his secretary
+ some autobiographical chapters. This was the work which was "not to
+ see print until I am dead." He found it a pleasant, lazy occupation
+ and wrote his delight in it to Howells in a letter which seems not
+ to have survived. In his reply, Howells wrote: "You do stir me
+ mightily with the hope of dictating and I will try it when I get the
+ chance. But there is the tempermental difference. You are dramatic
+ and unconscious; you count the thing more than yourself; I am cursed
+ with consciousness to the core, and can't say myself out; I am
+ always saying myself in, and setting myself above all that I say, as
+ of more worth. Lately I have felt as if I were rotting with
+ egotism. I don't admire myself; I am sick of myself; but I can't
+ think of anything else. Here I am at it now, when I ought to be
+ rejoicing with you at the blessing you have found .... I'd like,
+ immensely, to read your autobiography. You always rather bewildered
+ me by your veracity, and I fancy you may tell the truth about
+ yourself. But all of it? The black truth which we all know of
+ ourselves in our hearts, or only the whity-brown truth of the
+ pericardium, or the nice, whitened truth of the shirtfront? Even
+ you won't tell the black heart's--truth. The man who could do it
+ would be famed to the last day the sun shone upon."
+
+ We gather from Mark Twain's answer that he was not deceiving himself
+ in the matter of his confessions.
+
+
+ To W. D. Howells, in New York:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ March 14, '04.
+DEAR HOWELLS,--Yes, I set up the safeguards, in the first day's
+dictating; taking this position: that an autobiography is the truest of
+all books; for while it inevitably consists mainly of extinctions of the
+truth, shirkings of the truth, partial revealments of the truth, with
+hardly an instance of plain straight truth, the remorseless truth is
+there, between the lines, where the author is raking dust upon it, the
+result being that the reader knows the author in spite of his wily
+diligences.
+
+The summer in England! you can't ask better luck than that. Then you
+will run over to Florence; we shall all be hungry to see you-all. We are
+hunting for another villa, (this one is plenty large enough but has no
+room in it) but even if we find it I am afraid it will be months before
+we can move Mrs. Clemens. Of course it will. But it comforts us to let
+on that we think otherwise, and these pretensions help to keep hope alive
+in her.
+ Good-bye, with love, Amen.
+ Yours ever
+ MARK.
+
+
+ News came of the death of Henry M. Stanley, one of Mark Twain's
+ oldest friends. Clemens once said that he had met Stanley in St.
+ Louis where he (Clemens) had delivered a lecture which Stanley had
+ reported. In the following letter he fixes the date of their
+ meeting as early in 1867, which would be immediately after Mark
+ Twain's return from California, and just prior to the Quaker City
+ excursion--a fact which is interesting only because it places the
+ two men together when each was at the very beginning of a great
+ career.
+
+
+ To Lady Stanley, in England:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FIRENZE, May 11, '04.
+DEAR LADY STANLEY,--I have lost a dear and honored friend--how fast they
+fall about me now, in my age! The world has lost a tried and proved
+hero. And you--what have you lost? It is beyond estimate--we who know
+you, and what he was to you, know that. How far he stretches across my
+life! I knew him when his work was all before him five years before the
+great day that he wrote his name far-away up on the blue of the sky for
+the world to see and applaud and remember; I have known him as friend and
+intimate ever since. It is 37 years. I have known no other friend and
+intimate so long, except John Hay--a friendship which dates from the same
+year and the same half of it, the first half of 1867. I grieve with you
+and with your family, dear Lady Stanley, it is all I can do; but that I
+do out of my heart. It would be we, instead of I, if Mrs. Clemens knew,
+but in all these 20 months that she has lain a prisoner in her bed we
+have hidden from her all things that could sadden her. Many a friend is
+gone whom she still asks about and still thinks is living.
+
+In deepest sympathy I beg the privilege of signing myself
+ Your friend,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, May 11, '04
+DEAR JOE,--Yours has this moment arrived--just as I was finishing a note
+to poor Lady Stanley. I believe the last country-house visit we paid in
+England was to Stanley's. Lord, how my friends and acquaintances fall
+about me now, in my gray-headed days! Vereschagin, Mommsen, Dvorak,
+Lenbach, Jokai--all so recently, and now Stanley. I had known Stanley 37
+years. Goodness, who is it I haven't known! As a rule the necrologies
+find me personally interested--when they treat of old stagers. Generally
+when a man dies who is worth cabling, it happens that I have run across
+him somewhere, some time or other.
+
+Oh, say! Down by the Laurentian Library there's a marble image that has
+been sitting on its pedestal some 450 Years, if my dates are right--
+Cosimo I. I've seen the back of it many a time, but not the front; but
+yesterday I twisted my head around after we had driven by, and the
+profane exclamation burst from my mouth before I could think: "there's
+Chauncey Depew!"
+
+I mean to get a photo of it--and use it if it confirms yesterday's
+conviction. That's a very nice word from the Catholic Magazine and I am
+glad you sent it. I mean to show it to my priest--we are very fond of
+him. He is a stealing man, and is also learnedly scientific. He
+invented the thing which records the seismatic disturbances, for the
+peoples of the earth. And he's an astronomer and has an observatory of
+his own.
+
+Ah, many's the cry I have, over reflecting that maybe we could have had
+Young Harmony for Livy, and didn't have wit enough to think of it.
+
+Speaking of Livy reminds me that your inquiry arrives at a good time
+(unberufen) It has been weeks (I don't know how many!) since we could
+have said a hopeful word, but this morning Katy came the minute the day-
+nurse came on watch and said words of a strange and long-forgotten sound:
+"Mr. Clemens, Mrs. Clemens is really and truly better!--anybody can see
+it; she sees it herself; and last night at 9 o'clock she said it."
+
+There--it is heart-warming, it is splendid, it is sublime; let us enjoy
+it, let us make the most of it today--and bet not a farthing on tomorrow.
+The tomorrows have nothing for us. Too many times they have breathed the
+word of promise to our ear and broken it to our hope. We take no
+tomorrow's word any more.
+
+You've done a wonder, Joe: you've written a letter that can be sent in to
+Livy--that doesn't often happen, when either a friend or a stranger
+writes. You did whirl in a P. S. that wouldn't do, but you wrote it on a
+margin of a page in such a way that I was able to clip off the margin
+clear across both pages, and now Livy won't perceive that the sheet isn't
+the same size it used to was. It was about Aldrich's son, and I came
+near forgetting to remove it. It should have been written on a loose
+strip and enclosed. That son died on the 5th of March and Aldrich wrote
+me on the night before that his minutes were numbered. On the 18th Livy
+asked after that patient, and I was prepared, and able to give her a
+grateful surprise by telling her "the Aldriches are no longer uneasy
+about him."
+
+I do wish I could have been present and heard Charley Clark. When he
+can't light up a dark place nobody can.
+ With lots of love to you all.
+ MARK.
+
+
+ Mrs. Clemens had her bad days and her good days-days when there
+ seemed no ray of light, and others that seemed almost to promise
+ recovery. The foregoing letter to Twichell, and the one which
+ follows, to Richard Watson Gilder, reflect the hope and fear that
+ daily and hourly alternated at Villa Quarto
+
+
+ To Richard Watson Gilder, in New York:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ May 12, '04.
+DEAR GILDER,--A friend of ours (the Baroness de Nolda) was here this
+afternoon and wanted a note of introduction to the Century, for she has
+something to sell to you in case you'll want to make her an offer after
+seeing a sample of the goods. I said "With pleasure: get the goods
+ready, send the same to me, I will have Jean type-write them, then I will
+mail them to the Century and tonight I will write the note to Mr. Gilder
+and start it along. Also write me a letter embodying what you have been
+saying to me about the goods and your proposed plan of arranging and
+explaining them, and I will forward that to Gilder too."
+
+As to the Baroness. She is a German; 30 years old; was married at 17; is
+very pretty-indeed I might say very pretty; has a lot of sons (5) running
+up from seven to 12 years old. Her husband is a Russian. They live half
+the time in Russia and the other half in Florence, and supply population
+alternately to the one country and then to the other. Of course it is a
+family that speaks languages. This occurs at their table--I know it by
+experience: It is Babel come again. The other day, when no guests were
+present to keep order, the tribes were all talking at once, and 6
+languages were being traded in; at last the littlest boy lost his temper
+and screamed out at the top of his voice, with angry sobs: "Mais,
+vraiment, io non capisco gar nichts."
+
+The Baroness is a little afraid of her English, therefore she will write
+her remarks in French--I said there's a plenty of translators in New
+York. Examine her samples and drop her a line.
+
+For two entire days, now, we have not been anxious about Mrs. Clemens
+(unberufen). After 20 months of bed-ridden solitude and bodily misery
+she all of a sudden ceases to be a pallid shrunken shadow, and looks
+bright and young and pretty. She remains what she always was, the most
+wonderful creature of fortitude, patience, endurance and recuperative
+power that ever was. But ah, dear, it won't last; this fiendish malady
+will play new treacheries upon her, and I shall go back to my prayers
+again--unutterable from any pulpit!
+ With love to you and yours,
+ S. L. C.
+
+May 13 10 A.M. I have just paid one of my pair of permitted 2 minutes
+visits per day to the sick room. And found what I have learned to
+expect--retrogression, and that pathetic something in the eye which
+betrays the secret of a waning hope.
+
+
+ The year of the World's Fair had come, and an invitation from Gov.
+ Francis, of Missouri, came to Mark Twain in Florence, personally
+ inviting him to attend the great celebration and carry off first
+ prize. We may believe that Clemens felt little in the spirit of
+ humor, but to such an invitation he must send a cheerful, even if
+ disappointing, answer.
+
+
+ To Gov. Francis, of Missouri:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FIRENZE,
+ May 26, 1904.
+DEAR GOVERNOR FRANCIS,--It has been a dear wish of mine to exhibit myself
+at the Great Fair and get a prize, but circumstances beyond my control
+have interfered, and I must remain in Florence. Although I have never
+taken prizes anywhere else I used to take them at school in Missouri half
+a century ago, and I ought to be able to repeat, now, if I could have a
+chance. I used to get the medal for good spelling, every week, and I
+could have had the medal for good conduct if there hadn't been so much
+curruption in Missouri in those days; still, I got it several times by
+trading medals and giving boot. I am willing to give boot now, if--
+however, those days are forever gone by in Missouri, and perhaps it is
+better so. Nothing ever stops the way it was in this changeable world.
+Although I cannot be at the Fair, I am going to be represented there
+anyway, by a portrait, by Professor Gelli. You will find it excellent.
+Good judges here say it is better than the original. They say it has all
+the merits of the original and keeps still, besides. It sounds like
+flattery, but it is just true.
+
+I suppose you will get a prize, because you have created the most
+prodigious and in all ways most wonderful Fair the planet has ever seen.
+Very well, you have indeed earned it: and with it the gratitude of the
+State and the nation.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ MARK TWAIN
+
+ It was only a few days after the foregoing was written that death
+ entered Villa Quarto--unexpectedly at last--for with the first June
+ days Mrs. Clemens had seemed really to improve. It was on Sunday,
+ June 5th, that the end came. Clemens, with his daughter Jean, had
+ returned from a long drive, during which they had visited a Villa
+ with the thought of purchase. On their return they were told that
+ their patient had been better that afternoon than for three months.
+ Yet it was only a few hours later that she left them, so suddenly
+ and quietly that even those near her did not at first realize that
+ she was gone.
+
+
+ To W. D. Howells, in New York.
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ June 6, '94. [1904]
+DEAR HOWELLS,--Last night at 9.20 I entered Mrs. Clemens's room to say
+the usual goodnight--and she was dead--tho' no one knew it. She had been
+cheerfully talking, a moment before. She was sitting up in bed--she had
+not lain down for months--and Katie and the nurse were supporting her.
+They supposed she had fainted, and they were holding the oxygen pipe to
+her mouth, expecting to revive her. I bent over her and looked in her
+face, and I think I spoke--I was surprised and troubled that she did not
+notice me. Then we understood, and our hearts broke. How poor we are
+today!
+
+But how thankful I am that her persecutions are ended. I would not call
+her back if I could.
+
+Today, treasured in her worn old Testament, I found a dear and gentle
+letter from you, dated Far Rockaway, Sept. 13, 1896, about our poor
+Susy's death. I am tired and old; I wish I were with Livy.
+
+I send my love-and hers-to you all.
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+ In a letter to Twichell he wrote: "How sweet she was in death; how
+ young, how beautiful, how like her dear, girlish self cf thirty
+ years ago; not a gray hair showing."
+
+ The family was now without plans for the future until they
+ remembered the summer home of R. W. Gilder, at Tyringham,
+ Massachusetts, and the possibility of finding lodgment for
+ themselves in that secluded corner of New England. Clemens wrote
+ without delay, as follows:
+
+
+ To R. W. Gilder, in New York:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ June 7, '04.
+DEAR GILDER FAMILY,--I have been worrying and worrying to know what to
+do: at last I went to the girls with an idea: to ask the Gilders to get
+us shelter near their summer home. It was the first time they have not
+shaken their heads. So to-morrow I will cable to you and shall hope to
+be in time.
+
+An, hour ago the best heart that ever beat for me and mine went silent
+out of this house, and I am as one who wanders and has lost his way. She
+who is gone was our head, she was our hands. We are now trying to make
+plans--we: we who have never made a plan before, nor ever needed to. If
+she could speak to us she would make it all simple and easy with a word,
+and our perplexities would vanish away. If she had known she was near to
+death she would have told us where to go and what to do: but she was not
+suspecting, neither were we. (She had been chatting cheerfully a moment
+before, and in an instant she was gone from us and we did not know it.
+We were not alarmed, we did not know anything had happened. It was a
+blessed death--she passed away without knowing it.) She was all our
+riches and she is gone: she was our breath, she was our life and now we
+are nothing.
+
+We send you our love--and with it the love of you that was in her heart
+when she died.
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ Howells wrote his words of sympathy, adding: "The character which
+ now remains a memory was one of the most perfect ever formed on the
+ earth," and again, after having received Clemens's letter: "I cannot
+ speak of your wife's having kept that letter of mine where she did.
+ You know how it must humiliate a man in his unworthiness to have
+ anything of his so consecrated. She hallowed what she touched, far
+ beyond priests."
+
+
+ To W. D. Howells, in New York:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, '04.
+ June 12, 6 p. m.
+DEAR HOWELLS,--We have to sit and hold our hands and wait--in the silence
+and solitude of this prodigious house; wait until June 25, then we go to
+Naples and sail in the Prince Oscar the 26th. There is a ship 12 days
+earlier (but we came in that one.) I see Clara twice a day--morning and
+evening--greeting--nothing more is allowed. She keeps her bed, and says
+nothing. She has not cried yet. I wish she could cry. It would break
+Livy's heart to see Clara. We excuse ourselves from all the friends that
+call--though of course only intimates come. Intimates--but they are not
+the old old friends, the friends of the old, old times when we laughed.
+
+Shall we ever laugh again? If I could only see a dog that I knew in the
+old times! and could put my arms around his neck and tell him all,
+everything, and ease my heart.
+
+Think-in 3 hours it will be a week!--and soon a month; and by and by a
+year. How fast our dead fly from us.
+
+She loved you so, and was always as pleased as a child with any notice
+you took of her.
+
+Soon your wife will be with you, oh fortunate man! And John, whom mine
+was so fond of. The sight of him was such a delight to her. Lord, the
+old friends, how dear they are.
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. R. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ VILLA DI QUARTO, FLORENCE,
+ June 18, '04.
+DEAR JOE,--It is 13 days. I am bewildered and must remain so for a time
+longer. It was so sudden, so unexpected. Imagine a man worth a hundred
+millions who finds himself suddenly penniless and fifty million in debt
+in his old age.
+
+I was richer than any other person in the world, and now I am that pauper
+without peer. Some day I will tell you about it, not now.
+ MARK.
+
+
+ A tide of condolence flowed in from all parts of the world. It was
+ impossible to answer all. Only a few who had been their closest
+ friends received a written line, but the little printed
+ acknowledgment which was returned was no mere formality. It was a
+ heartfelt, personal word.
+
+ They arrived in America in July, and were accompanied by Twichell to
+ Elmira, and on the 14th Mrs. Clemens was laid to rest by the side of
+ Susy and little Langdon. R. W. Gilder had arranged for them to
+ occupy, for the summer, a cottage on his place at Tyringham, in the
+ Berkshire Hills. By November they were at the Grosvenor, in New
+ York, preparing to establish themselves in a house which they had
+ taken on the corner of Ninth Street and Fifth Avenue--Number 21.
+
+
+ To F. N. Doubleday, in New York:
+
+DEAR DOUBLEDAY,--I did not know you were going to England: I would have
+freighted you with such messages of homage and affection to Kipling.
+And I would have pressed his hand, through you, for his sympathy with
+me in my crushing loss, as expressed by him in his letter to Gilder.
+You know my feeling for Kipling and that it antedates that expression.
+
+I was glad that the boys came here to invite me to the house-warming and
+I think they understood why a man in the shadow of a calamity like mine
+could not go.
+
+It has taken three months to repair and renovate our house--corner of 9th
+and 5th Avenue, but I shall be in it in io or 15 days hence. Much of the
+furniture went into it today (from Hartford). We have not seen it for 13
+years. Katy Leary, our old housekeeper, who has been in our service more
+than 24 years, cried when she told me about it to-day. She said "I had
+forgotten it was so beautiful, and it brought Mrs. Clemens right back to
+me--in that old time when she was so young and lovely."
+
+Jean and my secretary and the servants whom we brought from Italy because
+Mrs. Clemens liked them so well, are still keeping house in the Berkshire
+hills--and waiting. Clara (nervously wrecked by her mother's death) is
+in the hands of a specialist in 69th St., and I shall not be allowed to
+have any communication with her--even telephone--for a year. I am in
+this comfortable little hotel, and still in bed--for I dasn't budge till
+I'm safe from my pet devil, bronchitis.
+
+Isn't it pathetic? One hour and ten minutes before Mrs. Clemens died I
+was saying to her "To-day, after five months search, I've found the villa
+that will content you: to-morrow you will examine the plans and give it
+your consent and I will buy it." Her eyes danced with pleasure, for she
+longed for a home of her own. And there, on that morrow, she lay white
+and cold. And unresponsive to my reverent caresses--a new thing to me
+and a new thing to her; that had not happened before in five and thirty
+years.
+
+I am coming to see you and Mrs. Doubleday by and bye. She loved and
+honored Mrs. Doubleday and her work.
+ Always yours,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ It was a presidential year and the air was thick with politics.
+ Mark Twain was no longer actively interested in the political
+ situation; he was only disheartened by the hollowness and pretense
+ of office-seeking, and the methods of office-seekers in general.
+ Grieved that Twichell should still pin his faith to any party when
+ all parties were so obviously venal and time-serving, he wrote in
+ outspoken and rather somber protest.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ THE GROSVENOR, Nov. 4, '04.
+Oh, dear! get out of that sewer--party politics--dear Joe. At least
+with your mouth. We hail only two men who could make speeches for their
+parties and preserve their honor and their dignity. One of them is dead.
+Possibly there were four. I am sorry for John Hay; sorry and ashamed.
+And yet I know he couldn't help it. He wears the collar, and he had to
+pay the penalty. Certainly he had no more desire to stand up before a
+mob of confiding human incapables and debauch them than you had.
+Certainly he took no more real pleasure in distorting history, concealing
+facts, propagating immoralities, and appealing to the sordid side of
+human nature than did you; but he was his party's property, and he had to
+climb away down and do it.
+
+It is interesting, wonderfully interesting--the miracles which party-
+politics can do with a man's mental and moral make-up. Look at McKinley,
+Roosevelt, and yourself: in private life spotless in character;
+honorable, honest, just, humane, generous; scorning trickeries,
+treacheries, suppressions of the truth, mistranslations of the meanings
+of facts, the filching of credit earned by another, the condoning of
+crime, the glorifying of base acts: in public political life the reverse
+of all this.
+
+McKinley was a silverite--you concealed it. Roosevelt was a silverite--
+you concealed it. Parker was a silverite--you publish it. Along with a
+shudder and a warning: "He was unsafe then. Is he any safer now?"
+
+Joe, even I could be guilty of such a thing as that--if I were in party-
+politics; I really believe it.
+
+Mr. Cleveland gave the country the gold standard; by implication you
+credit the matter to the Republican party.
+
+By implication you prove the whole annual pension-scoop, concealing the
+fact that the bulk of the money goes to people who in no way deserve it.
+You imply that all the batteners upon this bribery-fund are Republicans.
+An indiscreet confession, since about half of them must have been
+Democrats before they were bought.
+
+You as good as praise Order 78. It is true you do not shout, and you do
+not linger, you only whisper and skip--still, what little you do in the
+matter is complimentary to the crime.
+
+It means, if it means anything, that our outlying properties will all be
+given up by the Democrats, and our flag hauled down. All of them? Not
+only the properties stolen by Mr. McKinley and Mr. Roosevelt, but the
+properties honestly acquired? Joe, did you believe that hardy statement
+when you made it? Yet you made it, and there it stands in permanent
+print. Now what moral law would suffer if we should give up the stolen
+ones? But--
+
+"You know our standard-bearer. He will maintain all that we have
+gained"--by whatever process. Land, I believe you!
+
+By George, Joe, you are as handy at the game as if you had been in
+training for it all your life. Your campaign Address is built from the
+ground up upon the oldest and best models. There isn't a paragraph in it
+whose facts or morals will wash--not even a sentence, I believe.
+
+But you will soon be out of this. You didn't want to do it--that is
+sufficiently apparent, thanks be!--but you couldn't well get out of it.
+In a few days you will be out of it, and then you can fumigate yourself
+and take up your legitimate work again and resume your clean and
+wholesome private character once more and be happy--and useful.
+
+I know I ought to hand you some guff, now, as propitiation and apology
+for these reproaches, but on the whole I believe I won't.
+
+I have inquired, and find that Mitsikuri does not arrive here until to-
+morrow night. I shall watch out, and telephone again, for I greatly want
+to see him.
+ Always Yours,
+ MARK.
+
+P. S.--Nov, 4. I wish I could learn to remember that it is unjust and
+dishonorable to put blame upon the human race for any of its acts. For
+it did not make itself, it did not make its nature, it is merely a
+machine, it is moved wholly by outside influences, it has no hand in
+creating the outside influences nor in choosing which of them it will
+welcome or reject, its performance is wholly automatic, it has no more
+mastership nor authority over its mind than it has over its stomach,
+which receives material from the outside and does as it pleases with it,
+indifferent to it's proprietor's suggestions, even, let alone his
+commands; wherefore, whatever the machine does--so called crimes and
+infamies included--is the personal act of its Maker, and He, solely, is
+responsible. I wish I could learn to pity the human race instead of
+censuring it and laughing at it; and I could, if the outside influences
+of old habit were not so strong upon my machine. It vexes me to catch
+myself praising the clean private citizen Roosevelt, and blaming the
+soiled President Roosevelt, when I know that neither praise nor blame is
+due to him for any thought or word or deed of his, he being merely a
+helpless and irresponsible coffee-mill ground by the hand of God.
+
+ Through a misunderstanding, Clemens, something more than a year
+ earlier, had severed his connection with the Players' Club, of which
+ he had been one of the charter members. Now, upon his return to New
+ York, a number of his friends joined in an invitation to him to
+ return. It was not exactly a letter they sent, but a bit of an old
+ Scotch song--
+
+ "To Mark Twain
+ from
+ The Clansmen.
+ Will ye no come back again,
+ Will ye no come back again?
+ Better lo'ed ye canna be.
+ Will ye no come back again?"
+
+ Those who signed it were David Monroe, of the North American Review;
+ Robert Reid, the painter, and about thirty others of the Round Table
+ Group, so called because its members were accustomed to lunching at
+ a large round table in a bay window of the Player dining-room. Mark
+ Twain's reply was prompt and heartfelt. He wrote:
+
+
+ To Robt. Reid and the Others:
+
+WELL-BELOVED,--Surely those lovely verses went to Prince Charley's heart,
+if he had one, and certainly they have gone to mine. I shall be glad and
+proud to come back again after such a moving and beautiful compliment as
+this from comrades whom I have loved so long. I hope you can poll the
+necessary vote; I know you will try, at any rate. It will be many months
+before I can foregather with you, for this black border is not
+perfunctory, not a convention; it symbolizes the loss of one whose memory
+is the only thing I worship.
+
+It is not necessary for me to thank you--and words could not deliver what
+I feel, anyway. I will put the contents of your envelope in the small
+casket where I keep the things which have become sacred to me.
+
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+A year later, Mark Twain did "come back again," as an honorary life
+member, and was given a dinner of welcome by those who had signed the
+lines urging his return.
+
+
+
+
+XLIV
+
+LETTERS OF 1905. TO TWICHELL, MR. DUNEKA AND OTHERS.
+POLITICS AND HUMANITY. A SUMMER AT DUBLIN. MARK TWAIN AT 70
+
+ In 1884 Mark Twain had abandoned the Republican Party to vote for
+ Cleveland. He believed the party had become corrupt, and to his
+ last day it was hard for him to see anything good in Republican
+ policies or performance. He was a personal friend of Thedore
+ Roosevelt's but, as we have seen in a former letter, Roosevelt the
+ politician rarely found favor in his eyes. With or without
+ justification, most of the President's political acts invited his
+ caustic sarcasm and unsparing condemnation. Another letter to
+ Twichell of this time affords a fair example.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ Feb. 16, '05.
+DEAR JOE,--I knew I had in me somewhere a definite feeling about the
+President if I could only find the words to define it with. Here they
+are, to a hair--from Leonard Jerome: "For twenty years I have loved
+Roosevelt the man and hated Roosevelt the statesman and politician."
+
+It's mighty good. Every time, in 25 years, that I have met Roosevelt the
+man, a wave of welcome has streaked through me with the hand-grip;
+but whenever (as a rule) I meet Roosevelt the statesman and politician,
+I find him destitute of morals and not respectworthy. It is plain that
+where his political self and his party self are concerned he has nothing
+resembling a conscience; that under those inspirations he is naively
+indifferent to the restraints of duty and even unaware of them; ready to
+kick the Constitution into the back yard whenever it gets in the way; and
+whenever he smells a vote, not only willing but eager to buy it, give
+extravagant rates for it and pay the bill not out of his own pocket or
+the party's, but out of the nation's, by cold pillage. As per Order 78
+and the appropriation of the Indian trust funds.
+
+But Roosevelt is excusable--I recognize it and (ought to) concede it.
+We are all insane, each in his own way, and with insanity goes
+irresponsibility. Theodore the man is sane; in fairness we ought to keep
+in mind that Theodore, as statesman arid politician, is insane and
+irresponsible.
+
+Do not throw these enlightenments aside, but study them, let them raise
+you to higher planes and make you better. You taught me in my callow
+days, let me pay back the debt now in my old age out of a thesaurus with
+wisdom smelted from the golden ores of experience.
+ Ever yours for sweetness and light
+ MARK.
+
+
+ The next letter to Twichell takes up politics and humanity in
+ general, in a manner complimentary to neither. Mark Twain was never
+ really a pessimist, but he had pessimistic intervals, such as come
+ to most of us in life's later years, and at such times he let
+ himself go without stint concerning "the damned human race," as he
+ called it, usually with a manifest sense of indignation that he
+ should be a member of it. In much of his later writing--
+ A Mysterious Stranger for example--he said his say with but small
+ restraint, and certainly in his purely intellectual moments he was
+ likely to be a pessimist of the most extreme type, capably damning
+ the race and the inventor of it. Yet, at heart, no man loved his
+ kind more genuinely, or with deeper compassion, than Mark Twain,
+ perhaps for its very weaknesses. It was only that he had intervals
+ --frequent intervals, and rather long ones--when he did not admire
+ it, and was still more doubtful as to the ways of providence.
+
+
+ To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford:
+
+ March 14, '05.
+DEAR JOE,--I have a Puddn'head maxim:
+
+"When a man is a pessimist before 48 he knows too much; if he is an
+optimist after it, he knows too little."
+
+It is with contentment, therefore, that I reflect that I am better and
+wiser than you. Joe, you seem to be dealing in "bulks," now; the "bulk"
+of the farmers and U. S. Senators are "honest." As regards purchase and
+sale with money? Who doubts it? Is that the only measure of honesty?
+Aren't there a dozen kinds of honesty which can't be measured by the
+money-standard? Treason is treason--and there's more than one form of
+it; the money-form is but one of them. When a person is disloyal to any
+confessed duty, he is plainly and simply dishonest, and knows it; knows
+it, and is privately troubled about it and not proud of himself. Judged
+by this standard--and who will challenge the validity of it?--there isn't
+an honest man in Connecticut, nor in the Senate, nor anywhere else. I do
+not even except myself, this time.
+
+Am I finding fault with you and the rest of the populace? No--I assure
+you I am not. For I know the human race's limitations, and this makes it
+my duty--my pleasant duty--to be fair to it. Each person in it is honest
+in one or several ways, but no member of it is honest in all the ways
+required by--by what? By his own standard. Outside of that, as I look
+at it, there is no obligation upon him.
+
+Am I honest? I give you my word of honor (private) I am not. For seven
+years I have suppressed a book which my conscience tells me I ought to
+publish. I hold it a duty to publish it. There are other difficult
+duties which I am equal to, but I am not equal to that one. Yes, even I
+am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is.
+We are certainly all honest in one or several ways--every man in the
+world--though I have reason to think I am the only one whose black-list
+runs so light. Sometimes I feel lonely enough in this lofty solitude.
+
+Yes, oh, yes, I am not overlooking the "steady progress from age to age
+of the coming of the kingdom of God and righteousness." "From age to
+age"--yes, it describes that giddy gait. I (and the rocks) will not live
+to see it arrive, but that is all right--it will arrive, it surely will.
+But you ought not to be always ironically apologizing for the Deity. If
+that thing is going to arrive, it is inferable that He wants it to
+arrive; and so it is not quite kind of you, and it hurts me, to see you
+flinging sarcasms at the gait of it. And yet it would not be fair in me
+not to admit that the sarcasms are deserved. When the Deity wants a
+thing, and after working at it for "ages and ages" can't show even a
+shade of progress toward its accomplishment, we--well, we don't laugh,
+but it is only because we dasn't. The source of "righteousness"--is in
+the heart? Yes. And engineered and directed by the brain? Yes. Well,
+history and tradition testify that the heart is just about what it was in
+the beginning; it has undergone no shade of change. Its good and evil
+impulses and their consequences are the same today that they were in Old
+Bible times, in Egyptian times, in Greek times, in Middle Age times, in
+Twentieth Century times. There has been no change.
+
+Meantime, the brain has undergone no change. It is what it always was.
+There are a few good brains and a multitude of poor ones. It was so in
+Old Bible times and in all other times--Greek, Roman, Middle Ages and
+Twentieth Century. Among the savages--all the savages--the average brain
+is as competent as the average brain here or elsewhere. I will prove it
+to you, some time, if you like. And there are great brains among them,
+too. I will prove that also, if you like.
+
+Well, the 19th century made progress--the first progress after "ages and
+ages"--colossal progress. In what? Materialities. Prodigious
+acquisitions were made in things which add to the comfort of many and
+make life harder for as many more. But the addition to righteousness?
+Is that discoverable? I think not. The materialities were not invented
+in the interest of righteousness; that there is more righteousness in the
+world because of them than there, was before, is hardly demonstrable, I
+think. In Europe and America, there is a vast change (due to them) in
+ideals--do you admire it? All Europe and all America, are feverishly
+scrambling for money. Money is the supreme ideal--all others take tenth
+place with the great bulk of the nations named. Money-lust has always
+existed, but not in the history of the world was it ever a craze, a
+madness, until your time and mine. This lust has rotted these nations;
+it has made them hard, sordid, ungentle, dishonest, oppressive.
+
+Did England rise against the infamy of the Boer war? No--rose in favor
+of it. Did America rise against the infamy of the Phillipine war? No--
+rose in favor of it. Did Russia rise against the infamy of the present
+war? No--sat still and said nothing. Has the Kingdom of God advanced in
+Russia since the beginning of time?
+
+Or in Europe and America, considering the vast backward step of the
+money-lust? Or anywhere else? If there has been any progress toward
+righteousness since the early days of Creation--which, in my ineradicable
+honesty, I am obliged to doubt--I think we must confine it to ten per
+cent of the populations of Christendom, (but leaving, Russia, Spain and
+South America entirely out.) This gives us 320,000,000 to draw the ten
+per cent from. That is to say, 32,000,000 have advanced toward
+righteousness and the Kingdom of God since the "ages and ages" have been
+flying along, the Deity sitting up there admiring. Well, you see it
+leaves 1,200,000,000 out of the race. They stand just where they have
+always stood; there has been no change.
+
+N. B. No charge for these informations. Do come down soon, Joe.
+ With love,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ St. Clair McKelway, of The Brooklyn Eagle, narrowly escaped injuries
+ in a railway accident, and received the following. Clemens and
+ McKelway were old friends.
+
+
+ To St. Clair McKelway, in Brooklyn:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVE. Sunday Morning.
+ April 30, 1905.
+DEAR McKELWAY, Your innumerable friends are grateful, most grateful.
+
+As I understand the telegrams, the engineer of your train had never seen
+a locomotive before. Very well, then, I am once more glad that there is
+an Ever-watchful Providence to foresee possible results and send Ogdens
+and McIntyres along to save our friends.
+
+The Government's Official report, showing that our railways killed twelve
+hundred persons last year and injured sixty thousand convinces me that
+under present conditions one Providence is not enough to properly and
+efficiently take care of our railroad business. But it is
+characteristically American--always trying to get along short-handed and
+save wages.
+
+I am helping your family congratulate themselves, and am your friend as
+always.
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ Clemens did not spend any more summers at Quarry Farm. All its
+ associations were beautiful and tender, but they could only sadden
+ him. The life there had been as of another world, sunlit, idyllic,
+ now forever vanished. For the summer of 1905 he leased the Copley
+ Green house at Dublin, New Hampshire, where there was a Boston
+ colony of writing and artistic folk, including many of his long-time
+ friends. Among them was Colonel Thomas Wentworth Higginson, who
+ wrote a hearty letter of welcome when he heard the news. Clemens
+ replied in kind.
+
+
+ To Col. Thomas Wentworth Higginson, in Boston:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVE. Sunday, March 26, z9o.5.
+DEAR COL. HIGGINSON,--I early learned that you would be my neighbor in
+the Summer and I rejoiced, recognizing in you and your family a large
+asset. I hope for frequent intercourse between the two households. I
+shall have my youngest daughter with me. The other one will go from the
+rest-cure in this city to the rest-cure in Norfolk Conn and we shall not
+see her before autumn. We have not seen her since the middle of October.
+
+Jean (the youngest daughter) went to Dublin and saw the house and came
+back charmed with it. I know the Thayers of old--manifestly there is no
+lack of attractions up there. Mrs. Thayer and I were shipmates in a wild
+excursion perilously near 40 years ago.
+
+You say you "send with this" the story. Then it should be here but it
+isn't, when I send a thing with another thing, the other thing goes but
+the thing doesn't, I find it later--still on the premises. Will you look
+it up now and send it?
+
+Aldrich was here half an hour ago, like a breeze from over the fields,
+with the fragrance still upon his spirit. I am tired of waiting for that
+man to get old.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+ Mark Twain was in his seventieth year, old neither in mind nor body,
+ but willing to take life more quietly, to refrain from travel and
+ gay events. A sort of pioneers' reunion was to be held on the
+ Pacific Coast, and a letter from Robert Fulton, of Reno, Nevada,
+ invited Clemens to attend. He did not go, but he sent a letter that
+ we may believe was the next best thing to those who heard it read.
+
+
+ To Robert Fulton, in Reno, Nevada:
+
+ IN THE MOUNTAINS,
+ May 24, 1905.
+DEAR MR. FULTON,--I remember, as if it were yesterday, that when I
+disembarked from the overland stage in front of the Ormsby in Carson City
+in August, 1861, I was not expecting to be asked to come again. I was
+tired, discouraged, white with alkali dust, and did not know anybody; and
+if you had said then, "Cheer up, desolate stranger, don't be down-
+hearted--pass on, and come again in 1905," you cannot think how grateful
+I would have been and how gladly I would have closed the contract.
+Although I was not expecting to be invited, I was watching out for it,
+and was hurt and disappointed when you started to ask me and changed it
+to, "How soon are you going away?"
+
+But you have made it all right, now, the wound is closed. And so I thank
+you sincerely for the invitation; and with you, all Reno, and if I were a
+few years younger I would accept it, and promptly. I would go. I would
+let somebody else do the oration, but, as for me, I would talk--
+just talk. I would renew my youth; and talk--and talk--and talk
+--and have the time of my life! I would march the unforgotten and
+unforgettable antiques by, and name their names, and give them reverent
+Hailand-farewell as they passed: Goodman, McCarthy, Gillis, Curry,
+Baldwin, Winters, Howard, Nye, Stewart; Neely Johnson, Hal Clayton,
+North, Root,--and my brother, upon whom be peace!--and then the
+desperadoes, who made life a joy and the "Slaughter-house" a precious
+possession: Sam Brown, Farmer Pete, Bill Mayfield, Six-fingered Jake,
+Jack Williams and the rest of the crimson discipleship--and so on and so
+on. Believe me, I would start a resurrection it would do you more good
+to look at than the next one will, if you go on the way you are doing
+now.
+
+Those were the days! those old ones. They will come no more. Youth will
+come no more. They were so full to the brim with the wine of life; there
+have been no others like them. It chokes me up to think of them. Would
+you like me to come out there and cry? It would not beseem my white
+head.
+
+Good-bye. I drink to you all. Have a good time--and take an old man's
+blessing.
+ MARK TWAIN.
+
+
+ A few days later he was writing to H. H. Bancroft, of San Francisco,
+ who had invited him for a visit in event of his coming to the Coast.
+ Henry James had just been there for a week and it was hoped that
+ Howells would soon follow.
+
+
+ To H. H. Bancroft, in San Francisco:
+
+ UP IN NEW HAMPSHIRE,
+ May 27, 1905.
+DEAR MR. BANCROFT,--I thank you sincerely for the tempting hospitalities
+which you offer me, but I have to deny myself, for my wandering days are
+over, and it is my desire and purpose to sit by the fire the rest of my
+remnant of life and indulge myself with the pleasure and repose of work
+--work uninterrupted and unmarred by duties or excursions.
+
+A man who like me, is going to strike 70 on the 30th of next November has
+no business to be flitting around the way Howells does--that shameless
+old fictitious butter fly. (But if he comes, don't tell him I said it,
+for it would hurt him and I wouldn't brush a flake of powder from his
+wing for anything. I only say it in envy of his indestructible youth,
+anyway. Howells will be 88 in October.) With thanks again,
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+ Clemens found that the air of the New Hampshire hills agreed with
+ him and stimulated him to work. He began an entirely new version of
+ The Mysterious Stranger, of which he already had a bulky and nearly
+ finished manuscript, written in Vienna. He wrote several hundred
+ pages of an extravaganza entitled, Three Thousand Years Among the
+ Microbes, and then, having got his superabundant vitality reduced
+ (it was likely to expend itself in these weird mental exploits),
+ he settled down one day and wrote that really tender and beautiful
+ idyl, Eve's Diary, which he had begun, or at least planned, the
+ previous summer at Tyringham. In a letter to Mr. Frederick A.
+ Duneka, general manager of Harper & Brothers, he tells something of
+ the manner of the story; also his revised opinion of Adam's Diary,
+ written in '93, and originally published as a souvenir of Niagara
+ Falls.
+
+
+ To Frederick A. Duneka, in New York:
+
+ DUBLIN, July 16, '05.
+DEAR MR. DUNEKA,--I wrote Eve's Diary, she using Adam's Diary as her
+(unwitting and unconscious) text, of course, since to use any other text
+would have been an imbecility--then I took Adam's Diary and read it. It
+turned my stomach. It was not literature; yet it had been literature
+once--before I sold it to be degraded to an advertisement of the Buffalo
+Fair. I was going to write and ask you to melt the plates and put it out
+of print.
+
+But this morning I examined it without temper, and saw that if I
+abolished the advertisement it would be literature again.
+
+So I have done it. I have struck out 700 words and inserted 5 MS pages
+of new matter (650 words), and now Adam's Diary is dam good--sixty times
+as good as it ever was before.
+
+I believe it is as good as Eve's Diary now--no, it's not quite that good,
+I guess, but it is good enough to go in the same cover with Eve's. I'm
+sure of that.
+
+I hate to have the old Adam go out any more--don't put it on the presses
+again, let's put the new one in place of it; and next Xmas, let us bind
+Adam and Eve in one cover. They score points against each other--so, if
+not bound together, some of the points would not be perceived.....
+
+P. S. Please send another Adam's Diary, so that I can make 2 revised
+copies. Eve's Diary is Eve's love-Story, but we will not name it that.
+ Yrs ever,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ The peace-making at Portsmouth between Japan and Russia was not
+ satisfactory to Mark Twain, who had fondly hoped there would be no
+ peace until, as he said, "Russian liberty was safe. One more battle
+ would have abolished the waiting chains of millions upon millions of
+ unborn Russians and I wish it could have been fought." He set down
+ an expression of his feelings for the Associated Press, and it
+ invited many letters. Charles Francis Adams wrote, "It attracted my
+ attention because it so exactly expresses the views I have myself
+ all along entertained."
+
+ Clemens was invited by Colonel George Harvey to dine with the
+ Russian emissaries, Baron Rosen and Sergius Witte. He declined, but
+ his telegram so pleased Witte that he asked permission to publish
+ it, and announced that he would show it to the Czar.
+
+
+ Telegram. To Col. George Harvey, in New York:
+
+TO COLONEL HARVEY,--I am still a cripple, otherwise I should be more than
+glad of this opportunity to meet the illustrious magicians who came here
+equipped with nothing but a pen, and with it have divided the honors of
+the war with the sword. It is fair to presume that in thirty centuries
+history will not get done admiring these men who attempted what the world
+regarded as impossible and achieved it.
+
+ Witte would not have cared to show the Czar the telegram in its
+ original form, which follows.
+
+
+ Telegram (unsent). To Col. George Harvey, in New York:
+
+TO COLONEL HARVEY,--I am still a cripple, otherwise I should be more than
+glad of this opportunity to meet those illustrious magicians who with the
+pen have annulled, obliterated, and abolished every high achievement of
+the Japanese sword and turned the tragedy of a tremendous war into a gay
+and blithesome comedy. If I may, let me in all respect and honor salute
+them as my fellow-humorists, I taking third place, as becomes one who was
+not born to modesty, but by diligence and hard work is acquiring it.
+ MARK.
+
+ Nor still another unsent form, perhaps more characteristic than
+ either of the foregoing.
+
+ Telegram (unsent). To Col. George Harvey, in New York:
+
+DEAR COLONEL,--No, this is a love-feast; when you call a lodge of sorrow
+send for me.
+ MARK.
+
+
+ To Mrs. Crane, Quarry Farm:
+
+ DUBLIN, Sept. 24, '05.
+Susy dear, I have had a lovely dream. Livy, dressed in black, was
+sitting up in my bed (here) at my right and looking as young and sweet as
+she used to do when she was in health. She said: "what is the name of
+your sweet sister?" I said, "Pamela." "Oh, yes, that is it, I thought
+it was--" (naming a name which has escaped me) "Won't you write it down for
+me?" I reached eagerly for a pen and pad--laid my hands upon both--then
+said to myself, "It is only a dream," and turned back sorrowfully and
+there she was, still. The conviction flamed through me that our lamented
+disaster was a dream, and this a reality. I said, "How blessed it is,
+how blessed it is, it was all a dream, only a dream!" She only smiled
+and did not ask what dream I meant, which surprised me. She leaned her
+head against mine and I kept saying, "I was perfectly sure it was a
+dream, I never would have believed it wasn't."
+
+I think she said several things, but if so they are gone from my memory.
+I woke and did not know I had been dreaming. She was gone. I wondered
+how she could go without my knowing it, but I did not spend any thought
+upon that, I was too busy thinking of how vivid and real was the dream
+that we had lost her and how unspeakably blessed it was to find that it
+was not true and that she was still ours and with us.
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+ One day that summer Mark Twain received a letter from the actress,
+ Minnie Maddern Fiske, asking him to write something that would aid
+ her in her crusade against bull-fighting. The idea appealed to him;
+ he replied at once.
+
+
+ To Mrs. Fiske:
+
+DEAR MRS. FISKE,--I shall certainly write the story. But I may not get
+it to suit me, in which case it will go in the fire. Later I will try
+again--and yet again--and again. I am used to this. It has taken me
+twelve years to write a short story--the shortest one I ever wrote, I
+think.--[Probably "The Death Disk."]--So do not be discouraged; I will
+stick to this one in the same way. Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ He did not delay in his beginning, and a few weeks later was sending
+ word to his publisher about it.
+
+
+ To Frederick A. Duneka, in New York:
+
+ Oct. 2, '05.
+DEAR MR. DUNEKA,--I have just finished a short story which I "greatly
+admire," and so will you--"A Horse's Tale"--about 15,000 words, at a
+rough guess. It has good fun in it, and several characters, and is
+lively. I shall finish revising it in a few days or more, then Jean will
+type it.
+
+Don't you think you can get it into the Jan. and Feb. numbers and issue
+it as a dollar booklet just after the middle of Jan. when you issue the
+Feb. number?
+
+It ought to be ably illustrated.
+
+Why not sell simultaneous rights, for this once, to the Ladies' Home
+Journal or Collier's, or both, and recoup yourself?--for I would like to
+get it to classes that can't afford Harper's. Although it doesn't
+preach, there's a sermon concealed in it.
+ Yr sincerely,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ Five days later he added some rather interesting facts concerning
+ the new story.
+
+
+ To F. A. Duneka, in New York:
+
+ Oct. 7, 1906. ['05]
+DEAR MR. DUNEKA,--..... I've made a poor guess as to number of words.
+I think there must be 20,000. My usual page of MS. contains about 130
+words; but when I am deeply interested in my work and dead to everything
+else, my hand-writing shrinks and shrinks until there's a great deal more
+than 130 on a page--oh, yes, a deal more. Well, I discover, this
+morning, that this tale is written in that small hand.
+
+This strong interest is natural, for the heroine is my daughter, Susy,
+whom we lost. It was not intentional--it was a good while before I found
+it out.
+
+So I am sending you her picture to use--and to reproduce with
+photographic exactness the unsurpassable expression and all. May you
+find an artist who has lost an idol!
+
+Take as good care of the picture as you can and restore it to me when I
+come.
+
+I hope you will illustrate this tale considerably. Not humorous
+pictures. No. When they are good (or bad) one's humor gets no chance to
+play surprises on the reader. A humorous subject illustrated seriously
+is all right, but a humorous artist is no fit person for such work. You
+see, the humorous writer pretends to absolute seriousness (when he knows
+his trade) then for an artist--to step in and give his calculated gravity
+all away with a funny picture--oh, my land! It gives me the dry gripes
+just to think of it. It would be just about up to the average comic
+artist's intellectual level to make a funny picture of the horse kicking
+the lungs out of a trader. Hang it, the remark is funny--because the
+horse is not aware of it but the fact is not humorous, it is tragic and
+it is no subject for a humorous picture.
+
+Could I be allowed to sit in judgment upon the pictures before they are
+accepted--at least those in which Cathy may figure?
+
+This is not essential. It is but a suggestion, and it is hereby
+withdrawn, if it would be troublesome or cause delay.
+
+I hope you will reproduce the cat-pile, full page. And save the photo
+for me in as good condition as possible. When Susy and Clara were little
+tots those cats had their profoundest worship, and there is no duplicate
+of this picture. These cats all had thundering names, or inappropriate
+ones--furnished by the children with my help. One was named Buffalo
+Bill.
+
+Are you interested in coincidences?
+
+After discovering, about the middle of the book, that Cathy was Susy
+Clemens, I put her picture with my MS., to be reproduced. After the book
+was finished it was discovered that Susy had a dim model of Soldier Boy
+in her arms; I had forgotten all about that toy.
+
+Then I examined the cat-picture and laid it with the MS. for
+introduction; but it was not until yesterday that I remembered that one
+of the cats was named Buffalo Bill.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ The reference in this letter to shrinkage of his hand-writing with
+ the increasing intensity of his interest, and the consequent
+ addition of the number of words to the page, recalls another fact,
+ noted by Mr. Duneka, viz.: that because of his terse Anglo-Saxon
+ diction, Mark Twain could put more words on a magazine page than any
+ other writer. It is hardly necessary to add that he got more force
+ into what he put on the page for the same reason.
+
+ There was always a run of reporters at Mark Twain's New York home.
+ His opinion was sought for on every matter of public interest, and
+ whatever happened to him in particular was considered good for at
+ least half a column of copy, with his name as a catch-line at the
+ top. When it was learned that he was to spend the summer in New
+ Hampshire, the reporters had all wanted to find out about it. Now
+ that the summer was ending, they began to want to know how he had
+ liked it, what work he had done and what were his plans for another
+ year. As they frequently applied to his publishers for these
+ details it was finally suggested to him that he write a letter
+ furnishing the required information. His reply, handed to Mr.
+ Duneka, who was visiting him at the moment, is full of interest.
+
+
+ Mem. for Mr. Duneka:
+
+ DUBLIN, Oct. 9, 1905.
+.....As to the other matters, here are the details.
+
+Yes, I have tried a number of summer homes, here and in Europe together.
+
+Each of these homes had charms of its own; charms and delights of its
+own, and some of them--even in Europe had comforts. Several of them had
+conveniences, too. They all had a "view."
+
+It is my conviction that there should always be some water in a view--
+a lake or a river, but not the ocean, if you are down on its level. I
+think that when you are down on its level it seldom inflames you with an
+ecstasy which you could not get out of a sand-flat. It is like being on
+board ship, over again; indeed it is worse than that, for there's three
+months of it. On board ship one tires of the aspects in a couple of
+days, and quits looking. The same vast circle of heaving humps is spread
+around you all the time, with you in the centre of it and never gaining
+an inch on the horizon, so far as you can see; for variety, a flight of
+flying-fish, mornings; a flock of porpoises throwing summersaults
+afternoons; a remote whale spouting, Sundays; occasional phosphorescent
+effects, nights; every other day a streak of black smoke trailing along
+under the horizon; on the one single red letter day, the illustrious
+iceberg. I have seen that iceberg thirty-four times in thirty-seven
+voyages; it is always the same shape, it is always the same size, it
+always throws up the same old flash when the sun strikes it; you may set
+it on any New York door-step of a June morning and light it up with a
+mirror-flash; and I will engage to recognize it. It is artificial, and
+it is provided and anchored out by the steamer companies. I used to like
+the sea, but I was young then, and could easily get excited over any kind
+of monotony, and keep it up till the monotonies ran out, if it was a
+fortnight.
+
+Last January, when we were beginning to inquire about a home for this
+summer, I remembered that Abbott Thayer had said, three years before,
+that the New Hampshire highlands was a good place. He was right--it was
+a good place. Any place that is good for an artist in paint is good for
+an artist in morals and ink. Brush is here, too; so is Col. T. W.
+Higginson; so is Raphael Pumpelly; so is Mr. Secretary Hitchcock; so is
+Henderson; so is Learned; so is Summer; so is Franklin MacVeigh; so is
+Joseph L. Smith; so is Henry Copley Greene, when I am not occupying his
+house, which I am doing this season. Paint, literature, science,
+statesmanship, history, professorship, law, morals,--these are all
+represented here, yet crime is substantially unknown.
+
+The summer homes of these refugees are sprinkled, a mile apart, among the
+forest-clad hills, with access to each other by firm smooth country roads
+which are so embowered in dense foliage that it is always twilight in
+there, and comfortable. The forests are spider-webbed with these good
+roads, they go everywhere; but for the help of the guide-boards, the
+stranger would not arrive anywhere.
+
+The village--Dublin--is bunched together in its own place, but a good
+telephone service makes its markets handy to all those outliars. I have
+spelt it that way to be witty. The village executes orders on, the
+Boston plan--promptness and courtesy.
+
+The summer homes are high-perched, as a rule, and have contenting
+outlooks. The house we occupy has one. Monadnock, a soaring double
+hump, rises into the sky at its left elbow--that is to say, it is close
+at hand. From the base of the long slant of the mountain the valley
+spreads away to the circling frame of the hills, and beyond the frame the
+billowy sweep of remote great ranges rises to view and flows, fold upon
+fold, wave upon wave, soft and blue and unwordly, to the horizon fifty
+miles away. In these October days Monadnock and the valley and its
+framing hills make an inspiring picture to look at, for they are
+sumptuously splashed and mottled and be-torched from sky-line to sky-line
+with the richest dyes the autumn can furnish; and when they lie flaming
+in the full drench of the mid-afternoon sun, the sight affects the
+spectator physically, it stirs his blood like military music.
+
+These summer homes are commodious, well built, and well furnished--facts
+which sufficiently indicate that the owners built them to live in
+themselves. They have furnaces and wood fireplaces, and the rest of the
+comforts and conveniences of a city home, and can be comfortably occupied
+all the year round.
+
+We cannot have this house next season, but I have secured Mrs. Upton's
+house which is over in the law and science quarter, two or three miles
+from here, and about the same distance from the art, literary, and
+scholastic groups. The science and law quarter has needed improving,
+this good while.
+
+The nearest railway-station is distant something like an hour's drive; it
+is three hours from there to Boston, over a branch line. You can go to
+New York in six hours per branch lines if you change cars every time you
+think of it, but it is better to go to Boston and stop over and take the
+trunk line next day, then you do not get lost.
+
+It is claimed that the atmosphere of the New Hampshire highlands is
+exceptionally bracing and stimulating, and a fine aid to hard and
+continuous work. It is a just claim, I think. I came in May, and
+wrought 35 successive days without a break. It is possible that I could
+not have done it elsewhere. I do not know; I have not had any
+disposition to try it, before. I think I got the disposition out of the
+atmosphere, this time. I feel quite sure, in fact, that that is where it
+came from.
+
+I am ashamed to confess what an intolerable pile of manuscript I ground
+out in the 35 days, therefore I will keep the number of words to myself.
+I wrote the first half of a long tale--"The Adventures of a Microbe" and
+put it away for a finish next summer, and started another long tale--"The
+Mysterious Stranger;" I wrote the first half of it and put it with the
+other for a finish next summer. I stopped, then. I was not tired, but I
+had no books on hand that needed finishing this year except one that was
+seven years old. After a little I took that one up and finished it. Not
+for publication, but to have it ready for revision next summer.
+
+Since I stopped work I have had a two months' holiday. The summer has
+been my working time for 35 years; to have a holiday in it (in America)
+is new for me. I have not broken it, except to write "Eve's Diary" and
+"A Horse's Tale"--short things occupying the mill 12 days.
+
+This year our summer is 6 months long and ends with November and the
+flight home to New York, but next year we hope and expect to stretch it
+another month and end it the first of December.
+
+ [No signature.]
+
+
+ The fact that he was a persistent smoker was widely known, and many
+ friends and admirers of Mark Twain sent him cigars, most of which he
+ could not use, because they were too good. He did not care for
+ Havana cigars, but smoked the fragrant, inexpensive domestic tobacco
+ with plenty of "pep" in it, as we say today. Now and then he had an
+ opportunity to head off some liberal friend, who wrote asking
+ permission to contribute to his cigar collection, as instance the
+ following.
+
+
+ To Rev. L. M. Powers, in Haverhill, Mass.:
+
+ Nov. 9, 1905.
+DEAR MR. POWERS,--I should accept your hospitable offer at once but for
+the fact I couldn't do it and remain honest. That is to say if I allowed
+you to send me what you believe to be good cigars it would distinctly
+mean that I meant to smoke them, whereas I should do nothing of the kind.
+I know a good cigar better than you do, for I have had 60 years
+experience.
+
+No, that is not what I mean; I mean I know a bad cigar better than
+anybody else; I judge by the price only; if it costs above 5 cents I know
+it to be either foreign or half-foreign, and unsmokeable. By me. I have
+many boxes of Havana cigars, of all prices from 20 cts apiece up to 1.66
+apiece; I bought none of them, they were all presents, they are an
+accumulation of several years. I have never smoked one of them and never
+shall, I work them off on the visitor. You shall have a chance when you
+come.
+
+Pessimists are born not made; optimists are born not made; but no man is
+born either pessimist wholly or optimist wholly, perhaps; he is
+pessimistic along certain lines and optimistic along certain others.
+That is my case.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ In spite of all the fine photographs that were made of him, there
+ recurred constantly among those sent him to be autographed a print
+ of one which, years before, Sarony had made and placed on public
+ sale. It was a good photograph, mechanically and even artistically,
+ but it did not please Mark Twain. Whenever he saw it he recalled
+ Sarony with bitterness and severity. Once he received an inquiry
+ concerning it, and thus feelingly expressed himself.
+
+
+ To Mr. Row (no address):
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK,
+ November 14, 1905.
+DEAR MR. ROW,--That alleged portrait has a private history. Sarony was
+as much of an enthusiast about wild animals as he was about photography;
+and when Du Chaillu brought the first Gorilla to this country in 1819 he
+came to me in a fever of excitement and asked me if my father was of
+record and authentic. I said he was; then Sarony, without any abatement
+of his excitement asked if my grandfather also was of record and
+authentic. I said he was. Then Sarony, with still rising excitement and
+with joy added to it, said he had found my great grandfather in the
+person of the gorilla, and had recognized him at once by his resemblance
+to me. I was deeply hurt but did not reveal this, because I knew Saxony
+meant no offense for the gorilla had not done him any harm, and he was
+not a man who would say an unkind thing about a gorilla wantonly. I went
+with him to inspect the ancestor, and examined him from several points of
+view, without being able to detect anything more than a passing
+resemblance. "Wait," said Sarony with confidence, "let me show you."
+He borrowed my overcoat--and put it on the gorilla. The result was
+surprising. I saw that the gorilla while not looking distinctly like me
+was exactly what my great grand father would have looked like if I had
+had one. Sarong photographed the creature in that overcoat, and spread
+the picture about the world. It has remained spread about the world ever
+since. It turns up every week in some newspaper somewhere or other. It
+is not my favorite, but to my exasperation it is everybody else's.
+Do you think you could get it suppressed for me? I will pay the limit.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ The year 1905 closed triumphantly for Mark Twain. The great
+ "Seventieth Birthday" dinner planned by Colonel George Harvey is
+ remembered to-day as the most notable festival occasion in New York
+ literary history. Other dinners and ovations followed. At seventy
+ he had returned to the world, more beloved, more honored than ever
+ before.
+
+
+
+
+XLV
+
+LETTERS, 1906, TO VARIOUS PERSONS. THE FAREWELL LECTURE. A SECOND
+SUMMER IN DUBLIN. BILLIARDS AND COPYRIGHT
+
+ MARK TWAIN at "Pier Seventy," as he called it, paused to look
+ backward and to record some memoirs of his long, eventful past. The
+ Autobiography dictations begun in Florence were resumed, and daily
+ he traveled back, recalling long-ago scenes and all-but-forgotten
+ places. He was not without reminders. Now and again there came
+ some message that brought back the old days--the Tom Sawyer and Huck
+ Finn days--or the romance of the river that he never recalled other
+ than with tenderness and a tone of regret that it was gone. An
+ invitation to the golden wedding of two ancient friends moved and
+ saddened him, and his answer to it conveys about all the story of
+ life.
+
+
+ To Mr. and Mrs. Gordon:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVENUE,
+ Jan. 24, '06.
+DEAR GORDONS,--I have just received your golden-wedding "At Home" and am
+trying to adjust my focus to it and realize how much it means. It is
+inconceivable! With a simple sweep it carries me back over a stretch of
+time measurable only in astronomical terms and geological periods.
+It brings before me Mrs. Gordon, young, round-limbed, handsome; and with
+her the Youngbloods and their two babies, and Laura Wright, that
+unspoiled little maid, that fresh flower of the woods and the prairies.
+Forty-eight years ago!
+
+Life was a fairy-tale, then, it is a tragedy now. When I was 43 and John
+Hay 41 he said life was a tragedy after 40, and I disputed it. Three
+years ago he asked me to testify again: I counted my graves, and there
+was nothing for me to say.
+
+I am old; I recognize it but I don't realize it. I wonder if a person
+ever really ceases to feel young--I mean, for a whole day at a time. My
+love to you both, and to all of us that are left.
+ MARK.
+
+
+ Though he used very little liquor of any kind, it was Mark Twain's
+ custom to keep a bottle of Scotch whiskey with his collection of
+ pipes and cigars and tobacco on a little table by his bed-side.
+ During restless nights he found a small quantity of it conducive to
+ sleep. Andrew Carnegie, learning of this custom, made it his
+ business to supply Scotch of his own special importation. The first
+ case came, direct from Scotland. When it arrived Clemens sent this
+ characteristic acknowledgment.
+
+
+ To Andrew Carnegie, in Scotland:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVE. Feb. 10, '06.
+DEAR ST. ANDREW,--The whisky arrived in due course from over the water;
+last week one bottle of it was extracted from the wood and inserted into
+me, on the instalment plan, with this result: that I believe it to be the
+best, smoothest whisky now on the planet. Thanks, oh, thanks: I have
+discarded Peruna.
+
+Hoping that you three are well and happy and will be coming back before
+the winter sets in.
+ I am,
+ Sincerely yours,
+ MARK.
+
+
+ It must have been a small bottle to be consumed by him in a week, or
+ perhaps he had able assistance. The next brief line refers to the
+ manuscript of his article, "Saint Joan of Arc," presented to the
+ museum at Rouen.
+
+
+ To Edward E. Clarke:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVE., Feb., 1906.
+DEAR SIR,--I have found the original manuscript and with great pleasure I
+transmit it herewith, also a printed copy.
+
+It is a matter of great pride to me to have any word of mine concerning
+the world's supremest heroine honored by a place in that Museum.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ The series of letters which follows was prepared by Mark Twain and
+ General Fred Grant, mainly with a view of advertising the lecture
+ that Clemens had agreed to deliver for the benefit of the Robert
+ Fulton Monument Association. It was, in fact, to be Mark Twain's
+ "farewell lecture," and the association had really proposed to pay
+ him a thousand dollars for it. The exchange of these letters,
+ however, was never made outside of Mark Twain's bed-room. Propped
+ against the pillows, pen in hand, with General Grant beside him,
+ they arranged the series with the idea of publication. Later the
+ plan was discarded, so that this pleasant foolery appears here for
+ the first, time.
+
+
+ PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL
+
+ (Correspondence)
+
+ Telegram
+
+ Army Headquarters (date)
+MARK TWAIN, New York,--Would you consider a proposal to talk at Carnegie
+Hall for the benefit of the Robert Fulton Monument Association, of which
+you are a Vice President, for a fee of a thousand dollars?
+ F. D. GRANT,
+ President,
+ Fulton Monument Association.
+
+
+ Telegraphic Answer:
+
+MAJOR-GENERAL F. D. GRANT, Army Headquarters,--I shall be glad to do it,
+but I must stipulate that you keep the thousand dollars and add it to the
+Monument fund as my contribution.
+ CLEMENS.
+
+
+Letters:
+
+DEAR MR. CLEMENS,--You have the thanks of the Association, and the terms
+shall be as you say. But why give all of it? Why not reserve a portion
+--why should you do this work wholly without compensation?
+ Truly yours
+ FRED. D. GRANT.
+
+
+MAJOR GENERAL GRANT, Army Headquarters.
+
+DEAR GENERAL,--Because I stopped talking for pay a good many years ago,
+and I could not resume the habit now without a great deal of personal
+discomfort. I love to hear myself talk, because I get so much
+instruction and moral upheaval out of it, but I lose the bulk of this joy
+when I charge for it. Let the terms stand.
+
+General, if I have your approval, I wish to use this good occasion to
+retire permanently from the platform.
+ Truly yours
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+DEAR MR. CLEMENS,--Certainly. But as an old friend, permit me to say,
+Don't do that. Why should you?--you are not old yet.
+ Yours truly,
+ FRED D. GRANT.
+
+
+DEAR GENERAL,--I mean the pay-platform; I shan't retire from the gratis-
+platform until after I am dead and courtesy requires me to keep still and
+not disturb the others.
+
+What shall I talk about? My idea is this: to instruct the audience about
+Robert Fulton, and..... Tell me-was that his real name, or was it his
+nom de plume? However, never mind, it is not important--I can skip it,
+and the house will think I knew all about it, but forgot. Could you find
+out for me if he was one of the Signers of the Declaration, and which
+one? But if it is any trouble, let it alone, I can skip it. Was he out
+with Paul Jones? Will you ask Horace Porter? And ask him if he brought
+both of them home. These will be very interesting facts, if they can be
+established. But never mind, don't trouble Porter, I can establish them
+anyway. The way I look at it, they are historical gems--gems of the very
+first water.
+
+Well, that is my idea, as I have said: first, excite the audience with a
+spoonful of information about Fulton, then quiet down with a barrel of
+illustration drawn by memory from my books--and if you don't say anything
+the house will think they never heard of it before, because people don't
+really read your books, they only say they do, to keep you from feeling
+bad. Next, excite the house with another spoonful of Fultonian fact,
+then tranquilize them again with another barrel of illustration. And so
+on and so on, all through the evening; and if you are discreet and don't
+tell them the illustrations don't illustrate anything, they won't notice
+it and I will send them home as well-informed about Robert Fulton as I am
+myself. Don't be afraid; I know all about audiences, they believe
+everything you say, except when you are telling the truth.
+ Truly yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+P.S. Mark all the advertisements "Private and Confidential," otherwise
+the people will not read them.
+ M. T.
+
+
+DEAR MR. CLEMENS,--How long shall you talk? I ask in order that we may
+be able to say when carriages may be called.
+ Very Truly yours,
+ HUGH GORDON MILLER,
+ Secretary.
+
+
+DEAR MR. MILLER,--I cannot say for sure. It is my custom to keep on
+talking till I get the audience cowed. Sometimes it takes an hour and
+fifteen minutes, sometimes I can do it in an hour.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+Mem. My charge is 2 boxes free. Not the choicest--sell the choicest,
+and give me any 6-seat boxes you please.
+ S. L. C.
+
+I want Fred Grant (in uniform) on the stage; also the rest of the
+officials of the Association; also other distinguished people--all the
+attractions we can get. Also, a seat for Mr. Albert Bigelow Paine, who
+may be useful to me if he is near me and on the front.
+ S. L. C.
+
+
+ The seat chosen for the writer of these notes was to be at the front
+ of the stage in order that the lecturer might lean over now and then
+ and pretend to be asking information concerning Fulton. I was not
+ entirely happy in the thought of this showy honor, and breathed more
+ freely when this plan was abandoned and the part assigned to General
+ Grant.
+
+ The lecture was given in Carnegie Hall, which had been gayly
+ decorated for the occasion. The house was more than filled, and a
+ great sum of money was realized for the fund.
+
+ It was that spring that Gorky and Tchaikowski, the Russian
+ revolutionists, came to America hoping to arouse interest in their
+ cause. The idea of the overthrow of the Russian dynasty was
+ pleasant to Mark Twain. Few things would have given him greater
+ comfort than to have known that a little more than ten years would
+ see the downfall of Russian imperialism. The letter which follows
+ was a reply to an invitation from Tchaikowski, urging him to speak
+ at one of the meetings.
+
+
+DEAR MR. TCHAIKOWSKI,--I thank you for the honor of the invitation, but
+I am not able to accept it, because on Thursday evening I shall be
+presiding at a meeting whose object is to find remunerative work for
+certain classes of our blind who would gladly support themselves if they
+had the opportunity.
+
+My sympathies are with the Russian revolution, of course. It goes
+without saying. I hope it will succeed, and now that I have talked with
+you I take heart to believe it will. Government by falsified promises;
+by lies, by treacheries, and by the butcher-knife for the aggrandizement
+of a single family of drones and its idle and vicious kin has been borne
+quite long enough in Russia, I should think, and it is to be hoped that
+the roused nation, now rising in its strength, will presently put an end
+to it and set up the republic in its place. Some of us, even of the
+white headed, may live to see the blessed day when Czars and Grand Dukes
+will be as scarce there as I trust they are in heaven.
+ Most sincerely yours,
+ MARK TWAIN.
+
+
+ There came another summer at Dublin, New Hampshire, this time in the
+ fine Upton residence on the other slope of Monadnock, a place of
+ equally beautiful surroundings, and an even more extended view.
+ Clemens was at this time working steadily on his so-called
+ Autobiography, which was not that, in fact, but a series of
+ remarkable chapters, reminiscent, reflective, commentative, written
+ without any particular sequence as to time or subject-matter. He
+ dictated these chapters to a stenographer, usually in the open air,
+ sitting in a comfortable rocker or pacing up and down the long
+ veranda that faced a vast expanse of wooded slope and lake and
+ distant blue mountains. It became one of the happiest occupations
+ of his later years.
+
+
+ To W. D. Howells, in Maine:
+
+ DUBLIN, Sunday, June 17, '06.
+DEAR HOWELLS,--..... The dictating goes lazily and pleasantly on. With
+intervals. I find that I have been at it, off and on, nearly two hours a
+day for 155 days, since Jan. 9. To be exact I've dictated 75 hours in 80
+days and loafed 75 days. I've added 60,000 words in the month that I've
+been here; which indicates that I've dictated during 20 days of that
+time--40 hours, at an average of 1,500 words an hour. It's a plenty, and
+I am satisfied.
+
+There's a good deal of "fat" I've dictated, (from Jan. 9) 210,000 words,
+and the "fat" adds about 50,000 more.
+
+The "fat" is old pigeon-holed things, of the years gone by, which I or
+editors didn't das't to print. For instance, I am dumping in the little
+old book which I read to you in Hartford about 30 years ago and which you
+said "publish--and ask Dean Stanley to furnish an introduction; he'll do
+it." ("Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven.") It reads quite to suit
+me, without altering a word, now that it isn't to see print until I am
+dead.
+
+To-morrow I mean to dictate a chapter which will get my heirs and assigns
+burnt alive if they venture to print it this side of 2006 A.D.--which I
+judge they won't. There'll be lots of such chapters if I live 3 or 4
+years longer. The edition of A.D. 2006 will make a stir when it comes
+out. I shall be hovering around taking notice, along with other dead
+pals. You are invited.
+ MARK.
+
+ His tendency to estimate the measure of the work he was doing, and
+ had completed, must have clung to him from his old printer days.
+
+ The chapter which was to get his heirs and assigns burned alive was
+ on the orthodox God, and there was more than one such chapter. In
+ the next letter he refers to two exquisite poems by Howells, and the
+ writer of these notes recalls his wonderful reading of them aloud.
+ 'In Our Town' was a collection of short stories then recently issued
+ by William Allen White. Howells had recommended them.
+
+
+ To W. D. Howells, in Maine:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVE., Tuesday Eve.
+DEAR HOWELLS,--It is lovely of you to say those beautiful things--I don't
+know how to thank you enough. But I love you, that I know.
+
+I read "After the Wedding" aloud and we felt all the pain of it and the
+truth. It was very moving and very beautiful--would have been over-
+comingly moving, at times, but for the haltings and pauses compelled by
+the difficulties of MS--these were a protection, in that they furnished
+me time to brace up my voice, and get a new start. Jean wanted to keep
+the MS for another reading-aloud, and for "keeps," too, I suspected, but
+I said it would be safest to write you about it.
+
+I like "In Our Town," particularly that Colonel, of the Lookout Mountain
+Oration, and very particularly pages 212-16. I wrote and told White so.
+
+After "After the Wedding" I read "The Mother" aloud and sounded its human
+deeps with your deep-sea lead. I had not read it before, since it was
+first published.
+
+I have been dictating some fearful things, for 4 successive mornings--for
+no eye but yours to see until I have been dead a century--if then. But
+I got them out of my system, where they had been festering for years--and
+that was the main thing. I feel better, now.
+
+I came down today on business--from house to house in 12 1/2 hours, and
+expected to arrive dead, but am neither tired nor sleepy.
+ Yours as always
+ MARK.
+
+
+ To William Allen White, in Emporia, Kans.:
+
+ DUBLIN, NEW HAMPSHIRE,
+ June 24, 1906.
+DEAR MR. WHITE,--Howells told me that "In Our Town" was a charming book,
+and indeed it is. All of it is delightful when read one's self, parts of
+it can score finely when subjected to the most exacting of tests--the
+reading aloud. Pages 197 and 216 are of that grade. I have tried them a
+couple of times on the family, and pages 212 and 216 are qualified to
+fetch any house of any country, caste or color, endowed with those riches
+which are denied to no nation on the planet--humor and feeling.
+
+Talk again--the country is listening.
+ Sincerely yours,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ Witter Bynner, the poet, was one of the editors of McClure's
+ Magazine at this time, but was trying to muster the courage to give
+ up routine work for verse-making and the possibility of poverty.
+ Clemens was fond of Bynner and believed in his work. He did not
+ advise him, however, to break away entirely from a salaried
+ position--at least not immediately; but one day Bynner did so, and
+ reported the step he had taken, with some doubt as to the answer he
+ would receive.
+
+
+ To Witter Bynner, in New York:
+
+ DUBLIN, Oct. 5, 1906.
+DEAR POET,--You have certainly done right for several good reasons; at
+least, of them, I can name two:
+
+1. With your reputation you can have your freedom and yet earn your
+living. 2. if you fall short of succeeding to your wish, your
+reputation will provide you another job. And so in high approval I
+suppress the scolding and give you the saintly and fatherly pat instead.
+ MARK TWAIN.
+
+
+ On another occasion, when Bynner had written a poem to Clara
+ Clemens, her father pretended great indignation that the first poem
+ written by Bynner to any one in his household should not be to him,
+ and threatened revenge. At dinner shortly after he produced from
+ his pocket a slip of paper on which he had set down what he said was
+ "his only poem." He read the lines that follow:
+
+ "Of all sad words of tongue or pen,
+ The saddest are these: It might have been.
+ Ah, say not so! as life grows longer, leaner, thinner,
+ We recognize, O God, it might have Bynner!"
+
+ He returned to New York in October and soon after was presented by
+ Mrs. H. H. Rogers with a handsome billiard-table.
+
+ He had a passion for the game, but had played comparatively little
+ since the old Hartford days of fifteen years before, when a group of
+ his friends used to assemble on Friday nights in the room at the top
+ of the house for long, strenuous games and much hilarity. Now the
+ old fever all came back; the fascinations of the game superseded
+ even his interest in the daily dictations.
+
+
+ To Mrs. H. H. Rogers, in New York:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVENUE, Monday, Nov., 1906.
+DEAR MRS. ROGERS,--The billiard table is better than the doctors. It is
+driving out the heartburn in a most promising way. I have a billiardist
+on the premises, and I walk not less than ten miles every day with the
+cue in my hand. And the walking is not the whole of the exercise, nor
+the most health-giving part of it, I think. Through the multitude of the
+positions and attitudes it brings into play every muscle in the body and
+exercises them all.
+
+The games begin right after luncheon, daily, and continue until midnight,
+with 2 hours' intermission for dinner and music. And so it is 9 hours'
+exercise per day, and 10 or 12 on Sunday. Yesterday and last night it
+was 12--and I slept until 8 this morning without waking. The billiard
+table, as a Sabbath breaker can beat any coal-breaker in Pennsylvania,
+and give it 30 in, the game. If Mr. Rogers will take to daily billiards
+he can do without doctors and the massageur, I think.
+
+We are really going to build a house on my farm, an hour and a half from
+New York. It is decided. It is to be built by contract, and is to come
+within $25,000.
+ With love and many thanks.
+ S. L. C.
+
+P.S. Clara is in the sanitarium--till January 28 when her western
+concert tour will begin. She is getting to be a mighty competent singer.
+You must know Clara better; she is one of the very finest and completest
+and most satisfactory characters I have ever met. Others knew it before,
+but I have always been busy with other matters.
+
+
+ The "billiardist on the premises" was the writer of these notes,
+ who, earlier in the year, had become his biographer, and, in the
+ course of time, his daily companion and friend. The farm mentioned
+ was one which he had bought at Redding, Connecticut, where, later,
+ he built the house known as "Stormfield."
+
+ Henry Mills Alden, for nearly forty years editor of Harper's
+ Magazine, arrived at his seventieth birthday on November 11th that
+ year, and Harper & Brothers had arranged to give him a great dinner
+ in the offices of Franklin Square, where, for half a century, he had
+ been an active force. Mark Twain, threatened with a cold, and
+ knowing the dinner would be strenuous, did not feel able to attend,
+ so wrote a letter which, if found suitable, could be read at the
+ gathering.
+
+
+ To Mr. Henry Alden:
+
+ALDEN,--dear and ancient friend--it is a solemn moment. You have now
+reached the age of discretion. You have been a long time arriving. Many
+years ago you docked me on an article because the subject was too old;
+later, you docked me on an article because the subject was too new; later
+still, you docked me on an article because the subject was betwixt and
+between. Once, when I wrote a Letter to Queen Victoria, you did not put
+it in the respectable part of the Magazine, but interred it in that
+potter's field, the Editor's Drawer. As a result, she never answered it.
+How often we recall, with regret, that Napoleon once shot at a magazine
+editor and missed him and killed a publisher. But we remember, with
+charity, that his intentions were good.
+
+You will reform, now, Alden. You will cease from these economies, and
+you will be discharged. But in your retirement you will carry with you
+the admiration and earnest good wishes of the oppressed and toiling
+scribes. This will be better than bread. Let this console you when the
+bread fails.
+
+You will carry with you another thing, too--the affection of the scribes;
+for they all love you in spite of your crimes. For you bear a kind heart
+in your breast, and the sweet and winning spirit that charms away all
+hostilities and animosities, and makes of your enemy your friend and
+keeps him so. You have reigned over us thirty-six years, and, please
+God, you shall reign another thirty-six--"and peace to Mahmoud on his
+golden throne!"
+ Always yours
+ MARK
+
+
+ A copyright bill was coming up in Washington and a delegation of
+ authors went down to work for it. Clemens was not the head of the
+ delegation, but he was the most prominent member of it, as well as
+ the most useful. He invited the writer to accompany him, and
+ elsewhere I have told in detail the story of that excursion,--[See
+ Mark Twain; A Biography, chap. ccli,]--which need be but briefly
+ touched upon here.
+
+ His work was mainly done aside from that of the delegation. They
+ had him scheduled for a speech, however, which he made without notes
+ and with scarcely any preparation. Meantime he had applied to
+ Speaker Cannon for permission to allow him on the floor of the
+ House, where he could buttonhole the Congressmen. He was not
+ eligible to the floor without having received the thanks of
+ Congress, hence the following letter:
+
+
+ To Hon. Joseph Cannon, House of Representatives:
+
+ Dec. 7, 1906.
+DEAR UNCLE JOSEPH,--Please get me the thanks of the Congress--not next
+week but right away. It is very necessary. Do accomplish this for your
+affectionate old friend right away; by persuasion, if you can, by
+violence if you must, for it is imperatively necessary that I get on the
+floor for two or three hours and talk to the members, man by man, in
+behalf of the support, encouragement and protection of one of the
+nation's most valuable assets and industries--its literature. I have
+arguments with me, also a barrel, with liquid in it.
+
+Give me a chance. Get me the thanks of Congress. Don't wait for others;
+there isn't time. I have stayed away and let Congress alone for seventy-
+one years and I am entitled to thanks. Congress knows it perfectly well
+and I have long felt hurt that this quite proper and earned expression of
+gratitude has been merely felt by the House and never publicly uttered.
+Send me an order on the Sergeant-at-Arms quick. When shall I come? With
+love and a benediction.
+ MARK TWAIN.
+
+
+ This was mainly a joke. Mark Twain did not expect any "thanks," but
+ he did hope for access to the floor, which once, in an earlier day,
+ had been accorded him. We drove to the Capitol and he delivered his
+ letter to "Uncle Joe" by hand. "Uncle Joe" could not give him the
+ privilege of the floor; the rules had become more stringent. He
+ declared they would hang him if he did such a thing. He added that
+ he had a private room down-stairs, where Mark Twain might establish
+ headquarters, and that he would assign his colored servant, Neal, of
+ long acquaintanceship with many of the members, to pass the word
+ that Mark Twain was receiving.
+
+ The result was a great success. All that afternoon members of
+ Congress poured into the Speaker's room and, in an atmosphere blue
+ with tobacco smoke, Mark Twain talked the gospel of copyright to his
+ heart's content.
+
+ The bill did not come up for passage that session, but Mark Twain
+ lived to see his afternoon's lobbying bring a return. In 1909,
+ Champ Clark, and those others who had gathered around him that
+ afternoon, passed a measure that added fourteen years to the
+ copyright term.
+
+ The next letter refers to a proposed lobby of quite a different
+ sort.
+
+
+ To Helen Keller, in Wrentham, Mass.:
+
+ 21 FIFTH AVENUE,
+ Dec. 23, '06.
+DEAR HELEN KELLER,--. . . You say, "As a reformer, you know that
+ideas must be driven home again and again."
+
+Yes, I know it; and by old experience I know that speeches and documents
+and public meetings are a pretty poor and lame way of accomplishing it.
+Last year I proposed a sane way--one which I had practiced with success
+for a quarter of a century--but I wasn't expecting it to get any
+attention, and it didn't.
+
+Give me a battalion of 200 winsome young girls and matrons, and let me
+tell them what to do and how to do it, and I will be responsible for
+shining results. If I could mass them on the stage in front of the
+audience and instruct them there, I could make a public meeting take hold
+of itself and do something really valuable for once. Not that the real
+instruction would be done there, for it wouldn't; it would be previously
+done privately, and merely repeated there.
+
+But it isn't going to happen--the good old way will be stuck to: there'll
+be a public meeting: with music, and prayer, and a wearying report, and a
+verbal description of the marvels the blind can do, and 17 speeches--then
+the call upon all present who are still alive, to contribute. This hoary
+program was invented in the idiot asylum, and will never be changed. Its
+function is to breed hostility to good causes.
+
+Some day somebody will recruit my 200--my dear beguilesome Knights of the
+Golden Fleece--and you will see them make good their ominous name.
+
+Mind, we must meet! not in the grim and ghastly air of the platform,
+mayhap, but by the friendly fire--here at 21.
+ Affectionately your friend,
+ S. L. CLEMENS.
+
+
+ They did meet somewhat later that winter in the friendly parlors of
+ No. 21, and friends gathered in to meet the marvelous blind girl and
+ to pay tribute to Miss Sullivan (Mrs. Macy) for her almost
+ incredible achievement.
+
+
+
+
+End of this Project Gutenberg Etext of Letters Vol. 5, by Mark Twain
+
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