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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/34544-8.txt b/34544-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..24238ea --- /dev/null +++ b/34544-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1282 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, This is not a Story, by Denis Diderot, +Translated by Peter Phalen + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: This is not a Story + Original French title: Ceci n'est pas un conte + + +Author: Denis Diderot + + + +Release Date: December 2, 2010 [eBook #34544] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THIS IS NOT A STORY*** + + +Translated from Project Gutenberg´s French edition, which can be found here: +www.gutenberg.org/etext/28602 + +This Is Not a Story +(written around 1772-published in 1798) + +Original French title: Ceci n'est pas un conte + +By Denis Diderot + +Translation into English by Peter Phalen + + +Copyright (2010) by Peter Phalen +This work is licensed for non-commecial use under the Creative Commons +Attribution-Noncommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 license. + + +This story is found in Grimm´s Correspondence, dated April 1773, but that +version is incomplete. The history of Tanié and la Reymer is missing, as is +the end of the history of Mademoiselle de La Chaux. + +M. A.-A. Barbier (Dictionary of the Anonymous) suggested that Diderot´s +memory must have failed him when he attributed translations of "Hume´s First +Essays on Metaphysics" [p. 321] and the Essays on Human Understanding [p. +328] to Mademoiselle de La Chaux. But this was certainly not the case. +Diderot was only giving the works of Hume as translated by Mademoiselle de La +Chaux a more general title. The Political Discourses make up the second part +of the Essays. Mademoiselle de La Chaux wrote the first translation of this +part (Of Commerce; Of Luxury; Of Money, Amsterdam, 1752, 1753, in-12; Paris +and Lyon, in-12). It includes only seven of Hume´s seventeen discourses along +with some commentary by the translator. Abbot Le Blanc and later Mauvillon +did not publish their versions of the same piece until 1754. Mademoiselle de +La Chaux´s translation of Hume´s Writings on Economics was included in the +XVth tome of the Collections from the Leading Economists. She died in 1755. + + + +This Is Not A Story + +When one tells a story it is for a listener; and however short the story is, +it is highly unlikely that the teller is not occasionally interrupted by his +audience. So I have introduced into the narration that will be read, and +which is not a story, or which is a bad one if you have doubts about that, a +character that might approximate the role of the reader; and I begin. + +* * * * * + +And you conclude right there? + +--That a subject this interesting must make us dizzy, be the talk of the town +for a month, be phrased and rephrased until flavorless, produce a thousand +arguments, at least twenty leaflets, and around a hundred bits of verse in +favor or against. In spite of all the finesse, learning, and pure grit of the +author, given that his work has not lead to any violence it is mediocre. Very +mediocre. + +--But it seems to me that we owe him a rather agreeable evening, and that +this reading has brought... + +--What? A litany of worn-out vignettes fired from left and right, saying just +one single thing known for all eternity, that man and woman are +extraordinarily unfortunate beasts. + +--Nevertheless the epidemic has won you over, and you have contributed just +like any other. + +--Whether or not it be to one´s taste, it is only good taste to strike the +tone given. When meeting company, we customarily tidy up appearances at the +door of the apartment for whomever we are seeing; we pretend to be funny when +we are sad; sad, when we would have liked to be funny. We do not want to +appear out of place anywhere; so the literary hack politicizes, the political +pundit talks metaphysics, the metaphysician moralizes, the moralist talks +finance, the financier, letters or logic. Rather than listen or keep quiet, +each ramble on about what they are ignorant of, and everyone bores each other +with silly vanity or politeness. + +--You are in a bad mood. + +--I usually am. + +--And I think it is appropriate for me to reserve my vignette for a better +time. + +--You mean you will wait for me to leave. + +--It is not that. + +--Or you are afraid that I might have less indulgence for you, face to face, +than I would for your average gentleman. + +--It is not that. + +--Be agreeable then and tell me what it is. + +--That my vignette will not prove any better than those that have annoyed +you. + +--Hmph. Tell it anyway. + +--No. You have had enough. + +--You know that of all the ways the others have enraged me, yours is the most +unpleasant? + +--And what is mine? + +--That of being asked to do the thing you are dying to do. Well, my friend, I +ask you, I pray you satisfy yourself. + +--Satisfy myself? + +--Begin, by God, begin. + +--I will try to be short. + +--That cannot hurt. + +Here, a little out of spite, I coughed, I spat, I drew my handkerchief out +slowly, I blew my nose, I opened my snuff box, I took out a pinch of snuff; +and I heard my fellow man say between his teeth: `If the telling is short, +the preliminaries are long...´ I had the urge to call a servant under the +pretext of some errand. But I did not, and I said: + + +* * * * * + +It must be admitted that there are very good men, and very bad women. + +--One sees that every day, and sometimes without leaving the house. Go on? + +--Go on? I knew an Alsatian beauty. Beautiful enough to make old men come +running and stop younger ones in their tracks. + +--I also knew her. Her name was Madame Reymer. + +--That is correct. A newcomer from Nancy by the name of Tanié fell madly in +love with her. He was poor, one of those lost children chased from the house +by harsh parents with a large family, thrown into the world with no idea what +will become of them, knowing instinctually that there will never be a worse +sort than the one they are fleeing from. Tanié was infatuated with Madame +Raymer, consumed by a passion that gave him courage and ennobled all his +actions in his eyes, so that he willingly performed those most disturbing and +vile to soothe the misery of his soul. During the day he would work the +docks; at evening he begged in the streets. + +--It was wonderful, but it could not last. + +--Tanié, sick of living on the brink, or rather of keeping a charming woman +in poverty, ever haunted by rich men urging her to rid herself of that beggar +Tanié... + +--Which she would have done fifteen days or a month later. + +--and to accept their riches, decided to leave her and set out in search of +fortune abroad. He hunted around and won passage on one of the king´s ships. +It came time to depart. He took leave of Madame Reymer. `My love,´ he said to +her, `I can no longer exploit your affections. I have accepted the +inevitable. I am leaving.´ `You are leaving!´ `Yes...´ `And where are you +going?´ `To the islands. You deserve something more, and I can no longer come +between you and it.´ + +--Kindhearted Tanié!... + +--`And what is to become of me?...´ + +--Traitor!... + +--`You are surrounded by people who want to please you. I release you from +your promises, I release you from your vows. Find the suitor that is most +agreeable to you; accept him. I beg of you...´ `Oh Tanié! If you so desire...´ + +--No need to pantomime Madame Reymer. I get it... + +--`As I leave, all I ask is that you not commit yourself to anything that +might stand between us permanently. Promise me, my beautiful friend. Whatever +country on earth I find myself in, you will know something terrible has +befallen me if a year goes by without my bearing you witness of my tender +attachment. Do not cry...´ + +--Women can cry on command. + +--`...and do not fight against plans that are in the end inspired by the +reproaches of my heart and from which they would not keep me.´ And just like +that Tanié left for Saint-Domingue. + +--And just in time, for Madame Reymer as for himself. + +--How would you know? + +--I know as well as anyone that when Tanié advised her to make a choice she +made it. + +--Well done! + +--Continue your narration. + +--Tanié had a strong will and an entrepreneurial spirit. He did not tarry in +making himself known. He joined the sovereign council of the Cape. He +distinguished himself by his wisdom and equity. He had no ambitions to great +fortune; all he wanted was a quick and an honest one. Each year he sent a +portion of it to Madame Reymer. He reached his goal... somewhere between nine +and ten years; no, I do not believe he was absent any longer than that... to +present his lover with a small wallet containing the product of his work and +virtue... and lucky for Tanié, it was just at the moment when she had left the +last of his successors. + +--The last? + +--Yes. + +--So there were several? + +--Assuredly. + +--Go on, go on. + +--But perhaps I have nothing left to tell you that you do not already know +better than I. + +--What does it matter? Go on anyway. + +--Madame Reymer and Tanié occupied a rather pretty building on rue Sainte- +Marguerite, at my doorstep. I took a great liking to Tanié and frequented his +house, which was, if not opulent, at least luxurious. + +--I can assure you, without having done Reymer´s accounting, that she had an +income of over 15,000 pounds before Tanié returned. + +--and she kept it from him? + +--Yes. + +--Why would she? + +--She was greedy and predatory. + + --I could see predatory, but greedy? A greedy courtesan?... These two lovers +had lived in perfect harmony for five or six years. + +--Thanks to the shrewdness of the one and the unconditional confidence of the +other. + +--Ah. It is true that it would have been impossible for the shadow of a doubt +to enter a soul as pure as Tanié´s. The one thing I did occasionally notice +was that Madame Reymer quickly forgot her original poverty, was tormented by +her love of wealth and splendor, was humiliated that so beautiful a woman had +traveled on foot... + +--That she had not gone by coach? + +--And the spark of vice brought out the worst in her. You laugh?... It was +then that M. de Maurepas[1] hatched the plan to build a market up north. The +success of the enterprise demanded a lively and intelligent man. He had his +eye on Tanié, to whom he had entrusted the direction of many important +business ventures while he was at the Cape, which were always carried out to +the satisfaction of the minister. Tanié was upset by this mark of +distinction. He was so content, so happy with his girl! He loved, he was or +he thought himself loved. + +--Well said. + +--What could gold possibly add to his good fortune? Nothing. But the minister +insisted. He had to strengthen his resolve; he had to tell Madame Reymer. I +arrived at his quarters right at the end of this unfortunate episode. Poor +Tanié was collapsed in tears. `What is the matter, my friend?´ I asked him. +Between sobs he told me, `It is this woman!´ Madame Reymer was working calmly +at a tapestry. Tanié rose brusquely and left. I stayed behind with his lover, +who did not allow me to remain ignorant of what she thought of Tanié´s +irrationality. She exaggerated the severity of her financial state; she +adorned her appeal with all the art that a cunning mind like hers knows to +compensate for the sophisms of ambition. `What does it amount to? An absence +of two or three years at most.´ `That is some time for a man that you love +and who loves you as much as he does.´ `He? loves me? If he loved me, would +he hesitate to satisfy me?´ `But Madame, will you not go with him?´ `Me? I +will not go; and as eccentric as he is he has not even suggested it to me. +Does he have doubts about me?´ `I do not believe so, not at all.´ `After +awaiting him for twelve years, he can certainly count on my good faith.´ +`Sir, it is one of those unique opportunities that only presents itself once +in a lifetime; and I do not want the day to come when I must have regrets and +reproach myself for missing it.´ `Tanié will have no regrets, so long as he +has the good fortune of pleasing you.´ `That is very decent of you; but you +can be sure that he will be very happy being wealthy when I am old. It is a +peculiarity of women to never think of the future; it is not mine...´ The +minister was in Paris. His hotel was only a foot from rue Sainte-Marguerite. +Tanié met with him there and was hired. He returned with eyes dry and heart +wrung out. `Madame,´ he said to her, `I saw M. de Maurepas; I have given him +my word. I will go, I will go. And you will be satisfied.´ `Oh! My love!...´ +Madame Reymer drops her line of work, throws herself on Tanié, tosses her +arms around his neck, devastates him with kisses and sweet nothings. `Ah! It +is times like these that let me know I am dear to you!´ Tanié answered her +coldly: `You want to be rich.´ + +--She was, the little minx, ten times more so than she was worth... + +--`And you will be. Since it is gold that you love, you must seek it out.´ It +was Tuesday, and the minister had set the date of departure for Friday +without delay. I bid him farewell as he was wrestling with himself, +attempting to wrest himself from the arms of the beautiful, disgraceful and +cruel Reymer. Of such a disorder of ideas, hopelessness, agony, I have never +seen a second example. This was not a wail; it was an extended scream. Madame +Reymer was still in bed. He held one of her hands. He could not stop saying +and repeating: `Cruel woman! Woman cruel! What more do you need than the +comfort you enjoy, and a friend, a lover such as myself? I have tried to find +fortune in the sweltering countries of America; she wants me to seek it out +once more in the ice floes of the North. My friend, I am aware that this +woman is mad; I am aware that I am foolish, but I am less afraid of death +than I am of causing her sadness. You want me to leave you; I will leave +you.´ He was on his knees beside her bed, mouth glued to her hand and face +hidden in the covers, which, in stifling his mutterings, only made them +sadder and more dreadful. The bedroom door opened; his head rose up +brusquely; he saw the coachman who had come to announce that the horses were +hitched up. He cried out, and again hid his face under the covers. After a +moment´s silence, he rose, he said to his love, `Kiss me, madame. Kiss me one +more time, for you will never see me again.´ His premonition was only too +accurate. He departed. He arrived in Petersburg and, three days later, was +struck by a fever from which he died on the fourth. + +--I knew all of that. + +--Perhaps you were one of Tanié´s successors? + +--You got it. And it is with this abominable beauty that I ruined my +business. + +--Poor Tanié! + +--There are some who would call him silly. + +--I will not defend him, but I will wish from the bottom of my heart that +their bad luck sends them to a woman as beautiful and duplicitous as Madame +Reymer. + +--You are cruel in your choice of revenge. + +--Moving on, if there are evil women and good men, there are also good women +and evil men. And this supplement is no more a story[2] than the preceding. + +--I am sure. + +--M. d´Hérouville... + +--The one still living? The Lieutenant General of the King´s army? The one +that married that charming creature named Lolotte[3]? + +--The same. + +--A gallant man, lover of sciences. + +--And of scholars. For a long time he was working on a general history of war +in every century and every nation. + +--A staggering project. + +--To complete it he called for the help of some young gentlemen of +distinguished merit, like M. de Montucla[5], the author of the History of +Mathematics. + +--Good lord! He had many men of that caliber? + +--But the one named Gardeil, the hero of the adventure that I am going to +tell to you, hardly yielded to him. A common passion for the study of Greek +created a bond between Gardeil and I that time, the reciprocity of guidance, +a taste for seclusion, and above all the facility with which we saw each +other, made blossom into a rather striking intimacy. + +--So you were still staying at the Estrapade. + +--He, Sainte-Hyacinthe street, and his lady friend Mademoiselle de La Chaux, +Saint-Michel square. I call her by her own name because the poor thing is no +more, because her life can only honor it in every well-made mind and award it +the admiration, the regret and the tears of those that nature will favor or +punish with a small portion of the sensibility of her soul. + +--Well! Your speech is halting, and I believe you are crying. + +--I can still see her big dark eyes, soft and twinkling, and the moving sound +of her voice resounding in my ears and shaking my heart. Charming creature! +Unique creature! You are no more! You have been no more for nearly twenty +years; and my heart still tightens at the thought of you. + +--You loved her? + +--No. Oh La Chaux! Oh Gardeil! You were each a marvel; you, for a woman´s +tenderness; you, for a man´s ingratitude. Mademoiselle de La Chaux was an +honest woman. She left her parents to throw herself into the arms of Gardeil. +Gardeil had nothing, Mademoiselle de La Chaux enjoyed considerable wealth, +and this wealth was entirely sacrificed for Gardeil´s needs and whims. She +regretted neither the dissipation of her fortune nor her blackened +reputation. Her lover took the place of everything for her. + +--So Gardeil was a charmer, amiable? + +--Not at all. A small gruff man, taciturn and caustic; angular face, swarthy +complexion; a wholly puny, thin figure; ugly, if a man can be ugly with a +face so full of intelligence. + +--And that was what made this charming woman fall head over heals? + +--That surprises you? + +--Still. + +--You? + +--Me. + +--So you have forgotten your adventure with la Deschamps and the profound +despair into which you fell when this creature closed her doors to you. + +--Drop it; continue. + +--I had said to you, `So she is very beautiful?´ And you answered sadly, +`No.--She has a good personality?--She is foolish.--So it is her talents that +sway you?--She has but one.--And this rare, sublime, marvelous talent?--Is to +make me happier in her arms than I have ever been with any other woman.´ But +Mademoiselle de La Chaux, the good, sensible Mademoiselle de La Chaux, +secretly counted on, by instinct, unbeknownst to him, the good fortune that +you once knew, and which made you say of la Deschamps: `If this unfortunate +girl, if this despicable woman insists on kicking me out, I will grab a gun +and blow my brains out in her foyer.´ You said that, correct? + +--I said it; and even now I do not know why I did not do it. + +--Admit it, then. + +--I will admit to anything if it pleases you. + +--My friend, the wisest amongst us is much happier not having encountered any +woman, beautiful or ugly, clever or foolish, that would drive him mad enough +for the Petites-Maisons. We men complain a great deal, we criticize them +occasionally. We watch the years go by like so many moments, carried off by +the evil that shadows us; and we only think to cower at the strength of +certain natural attractions, especially those of us with sensitive souls or +ardent imaginations. The spark that alights by chance on a powder keg does +not produce so terrible an effect. The finger ready to light the fatal spark +over you or me is perhaps raised. + +M. d´Hérouville, wanting to speed up his project, greatly overworked his +colleagues. Gardeil´s health suffered for it. To lighten his load +Mademoiselle de La Chaux learned Hebrew, and while her lover rested she spent +a portion of the night translating and transcribing bits of Hebrew. It came +time to tackle the Greek authors; Mademoiselle de La Chaux rushed to perfect +her then superficial knowledge of this language: while Gardeil slept she was +busy translating and copying passages of Xenophon and Thucydides. She added +Italian and English to her knowledge of Greek and Hebrew. Her English was so +good that she could translate Hume´s first essays on metaphysics into French, +a work whose difficult subject matter added infinitely to the difficulty of +the idiom. When study exhausted her resources she amused herself by writing +music. When she feared her lover might be overcome with ennui she sang. I am +not exaggerating anything, as can be attested to by M. Le Camus, doctor of +medicine, who consoled her when she was troubled and cared for her when she +was in need, who remained by her side in the attic that her poverty had +relegated her to, and who closed her eyes when she died. But I am forgetting +one of her first misfortunes: the persecution that she had to suffer at the +hands of a family outraged by the scandalous and public relationship. Both +truth and lies were employed to dispose of her liberty in a humiliating +manner. Priests and her parents pursued her from quarter to quarter, from +house to house, for many years reducing her to a solitary and hidden life. +She spent her days working for Gardeil. We visited her at night, and in the +presence of her lover all her grief, all her worries vanished. +--My word! Young, timorous, tenderhearted in the face of so many +difficulties. What a happy being. + +--Happy? Yes, she only ceased to be so when Gardeil was revoltingly +ungrateful. + +--But it is not possible for ingratitude to be the reward for so many +exceptional qualities, so many signs of affection, so many sacrifices of +every kind! + +--You are mistaken, Gardeil was ungrateful. One day, Mademoiselle de La Chaux +found herself alone in the world, without honor, without support. I assure +you, I stayed with her for some time. Doctor Le Camus stayed with her always. + +--Men! + +--Who are you talking about? + +--Gardeil. + +--You see the villain and you do not see the good man right beside him. That +painful and hopeless day she rushed to my quarters. It was morning. She was +pale as death. Though she had only discovered her predicament the day before +she looked like one who had been suffering for a long time. She was not +crying, but one could see that she had cried a lot. She threw herself into an +armchair, she did not speak, she could not speak, she held out her arms to me +as she cried out. `What is it?´ I asked her. `Has he died?...´ `It is worse: +he no longer loves me; he is leaving me...´ + +--Go on then. + +--I do not know if I can. I see her, I listen to her, and my eyes fill with +tears. `He no longer loves you?...´ `No.´ `He is abandoning you!´ `Oh yes! +After all that I have done!... Monsieur, my mind is troubled; have pity on +me; do not leave me... above all else do not leave me...´ While uttering these +words she had hold of my arm. She was squeezing it tightly, as if near her +lay someone who threatened to tear her away and carry her off... `Have no fear, +mademoiselle.´ `I fear only myself.´ `What do you need?´ `First, save me from +myself... He no longer loves me! I tire him! I annoy him! I bore him! He hates +me! He is abandoning me! He is leaving me! He is leaving me!´ This echoed +line was followed by a profound silence, and following this silence, +convulsive bursts of laughter a thousand times more terrifying than the fits +of despair or the groans of agony. Next came tears, cries, inarticulate +words, gazes turned towards the sky, trembling lips, a torrent of pain that +one must let run its course, which I did. I only began to address her +reasoning when I saw that her soul was broken and stunned. So I resumed: `He +hates you, he is leaving you? And who told you that?´ `He did.´ `Come, +mademoiselle, a little hope and courage. This is no monster...´ `You do not +know him; you will know him. This is a monster like no other, like none there +ever was.´ `I cannot believe that.´ `You will see for yourself.´ `Does he +love another?´ `No.´ `You have not caused him any suspicion, any +dissatisfaction?´ `None, none.´ `What is it then?´ `My uselessness. I have +nothing left. I am no longer good at anything. His ambition. He has always +been ambitious. The loss of my health, of my beauty, I have suffered so much +and am so tired; boredom, weariness.´ `We cease to be lovers, but remain +friends.´ `I have become an unbearable object; my presence weighs on him, the +sight of me troubles and offends him. If you only knew what he said to me! +Yes, monsieur, he told me that if he was condemned to spend twenty-four hours +with me he would throw himself from the window.´ `But this aversion is not +the work of a moment.´ `What do I know? He is by nature so scornful! so +uncaring! so cold! It is difficult to see into the depths of his heart! and +it is so awful to read his death sentence! He pronounced it to me, and with +such harshness!´ `I cannot imagine anything like that.´ `I have a favor to +ask of you, and that is why I came here: will you grant it to me?´ `Anything +you ask.´ `Listen. He respects you; you know what he owes me. Perhaps he will +not be embarrassed to show his true self to you. No, I do not think he would +have his guard up. I am only a woman, and you are a man. A kind, honest and +just man inspires respect. You will inspire respect in him. Give me your +hands, do not say no; accompany me over to his house. I want to speak to him +with you there. Who knows what effect my pain and your presence will have on +him. You will accompany me?´ `Willingly.´ `Let us go...´ + +--I am worried that her pain and presence will leave things exactly as they +are. Contempt! Contempt is a terrible thing in a relationship, and for a +woman!... + +--I sent her to seek out a litter, as she was hardly in a state to walk. We +arrive at Gardeil's, at this huge new house, the only one on the right side +of Hyacinthe street when coming from Saint-Michel square. The porters stop; +they open the doors. I wait. She does not get out. I lean over and I see a +woman seized with a universal trembling. Her teeth were chattering as if from +feverish chills, her knees were hitting together. `A moment, monsieur; I am +sorry; I cannot... what can I do here? I will have torn you from your affairs +for nothing; I am so sorry; I ask your forgiveness...´ But I held out my hand +to her. She took it, she tried to get up; she could not. `One more moment, +monsieur,´ she told me, `I am such a bother; I am a burden to you.´ At last +she pulled herself together; and as she rose from her seat she added softly: +`We need to go in; we have to see him. Who knows? Perhaps I will die +there...´ Across the courtyard; at the door of the apartment; in Gardeil's +office. He was at his desk in his dressing gown and bonnet. He waved hello to +me and continued the work he had started. Then he came over to me and said: +`You must admit, monsieur, that women are an inconvenience. I apologize a +thousand times for the extravagances of mademoiselle.´ Then he addressed +himself to the poor creature, who was more dead than alive. `Mademoiselle,´ +he said to her, `what more do you want from me? It seems to me that after +explaining myself to you in so clear and precise a manner everything should +be settled between us. I told you that I no longer loved you, I told you that +person to person. Apparently your plan is for me to repeat it to you in front +of this gentleman. Well, mademoiselle, I do not love you anymore. +Extinguished in my heart is this feeling of love for you and, I will add if +it makes you feel better, for any women.´ `But tell me why you no longer love +me.´ `No idea. All I know is that I started without knowing why, that I +stopped without knowing why, and that I feel it is impossible for this +passion to return. It was a childish pursuit of which I believe myself to be +and congratulate myself for being completely cured.´ `What are my faults?´ +`You have none.´ `You have no secret complaint with my behavior?´ `Not the +least. You have been the most loyal, decent, kind woman a man could desire.´ +`Have I overlooked anything it is within my power to do?´ `Nothing.´ `Have I +not sacrificed my parents for you?´ `It is true.´ `My fortune.´ `I am sorry +for that.´ `My health?´ `That may be.´ `My honor, my reputation, my sleep?´ +`Whatever pleases you.´ `And you find me odious!´ `That is difficult to say, +difficult to hear, but since it is so, it has to be admitted.´ `He finds me +odious!... I know it, and do not respect myself any more for it!... Odious! +Oh, God!...´ At these words a mortal pallor spread across her face; her lips +lost their color; drops of cold sweat forming on her cheeks mixed with tears +descendeding from her eyes; they were closed; her head fell on the back of +her armchair; her teeth clenched; all her limbs were quivering; the quivering +was followed by a fainting spell that seemed due to the apprehension that she +had worked up at the door to the house. The duration of this state frightened +me. I took her mantelet from her, I loosened the strings of her dress and +petticoat and splashed a bit of cold water on her face. Her eyes opened +halfway; one could hear a muffled murmuring in her throat. She was trying to +say: I am odious to you. She only articulated the last syllables of the +phrase, then issued a piercing cry. Her eyelids lowered, and the fainting +spell began again. Gardeil, seated coldly on his armchair, his elbow resting +on the table and head rested on his hand, watched her without emotion and +left it to me to care for her. I told him repeatedly: `But, monsieur, she is +dying... we have to call for someone.´ He answered me by smiling and shrugging +his shoulders: `Women lead a hard life. They do not die over such a little +thing as this. This will pass. You do not know them very well. Their bodies +do whatever they want them to do.´ `She is dying, I tell you.´ Her body was +as if without strength or life. It slipped away from the top of the armchair, +and she would have fallen to the ground to the left or right had I not been +holding her. Meanwhile Gardeil rose up brusquely, and, pacing his apartment, +said with an impatient and moody tone: `I could do without this dismal scene. +I do hope this will be the last. Who the devil does she bear a grudge +against? I loved her; I will smash my head into a brick wall if that is the +least bit false. I do not love her anymore, she knows that now, or she will +never know it. Everything has been said...´ `No, monsieur, everything has not +been said. What? You believe that a good man has only to strip a woman of +everything she has and leave her?´ `What do you want me to do? I am begging +as much as she is.´ `What do I want you to do? To associate your misery with +the one that you have reduced her to.´ `You enjoyed saying that. She would be +no better for it, and I would be much worse.´ `You would act like this to a +friend that has sacrificed everything for you?´ `A friend! A friend! I do not +have much faith in friends, and this experience has taught me to have no +passion for them. I am frustrated that I did not realize this sooner.´ `And +it is right that this unfortunate woman should be the victim of your heart´s +errors.´ `And what is to say that one month, a day later, I would not have +been just as cruelly the error of hers.´ `What is to say? Everything that she +has done for you, and the state that you see her in.´ `What she did for +me?... By God! He is fully acquitted by the loss of my time.´ `Oh, monsieur +Gardeil, what a comparison between your time and all the priceless things +that you have taken from her!´ `I have done nothing, I am nothing, I am +thirty years old, it is time to think of myself, now or never, and to treat +all this nonsense like it is worth.´ + +Meanwhile the poor woman was coming to a little bit. At these last words she +regained enough energy: `what did he say about the loss of his time? I +learned four languages to ease his workload, I read a thousand volumes, I +wrote, translated, copied day and night, I exhausted myself, wore out my +eyes, boiled my blood, I came down with an awful illness from which I may +never recover. He does not dare tell you the cause of his displeasure, but +you will see.´ At that instant she pulled out her handkerchief, withdrew one +of her arms from her dress, bared one of her shoulders, and, showing me an +erysipelatus mark, `The reason for his transformation, there it is,´ she said +to me, `there it is, there is the effect of those sleepless nights. It came +one morning with these rolls of parchment. M. d´Hérouville, he told me, is +very anxious to know what is in these, this work has to be done by tomorrow, +and it was...´ At that moment we heard someone´s steps coming towards the door. +It was a servant announcing M. d´Hérouville´s arrival. Gardeil´s face went +pale. I invited Mademoiselle de La Chaux to withdraw and tidy herself up... +`No,´ she said. `No. I am staying. I want this disgrace uncovered. I will +wait for M. d´Hérouville. I will speak to him.´ `And what good will that do?´ +`None,´ she answered me, `you are right.´ `Tomorrow you will regret it. Leave +him his evil deeds; it is a revenge worthy of you.´ `But is it worthy of him? +Do you not see that this man here is not... Let´s go, monsieur, let us leave +now, for I can neither answer for what I would do, nor for what I would say...´ +In the blink of an eye Mademoiselle de La Chaux had repaired the disorder +this scene had made of her clothes and raced from of Gardeil´s office. I +followed and heard the door slam shut behind her. I later learned that +someone had given notice to the porter. + +I conducted myself to her quarters, where I found Doctor Le Camus waiting for +us. The passion that he felt for this young woman differed little from hers +for Gardeil. I recounted our visit to him, and while I spoke the signs of his +anger, pain, indignation... + +--It was not too difficult to see from his face that your failure did not +displease him all that much. + +--It is true. + +--There is man for you. He is no better than that. + +--This rupture was followed by a violent sickness, during which time the +good, honest, tender and kind doctor gave her such a treatment he would not +have reserved for the noblest woman in France. He came three, four times a +day. In spite of the peril he slept in her room on a canvas-strap bed. It is +fortunate that this was only a disease of the heart. + +--In returning to us she drifts away from her memories of others. And then +she has a pretext to be troubled without indiscretion or constraint. + +--That thought, otherwise just, does not apply to Mademoiselle de La Chaux. + +During her recovery we sorted out her schedule. She had more than enough +spirit, imagination, taste and knowledge to be admitted into the Académie des +Inscriptions. She had listened to us wax metaphysical for so long that the +most abstract matters had become familiar to her. Her first literary endeavor +was the translation of Hume´s Essays on Human Understanding. I proofread it, +and to tell you the truth she had left me with very little to rectify. This +translation was printed in Holland and was well received by the public. + +My Letter on the Blind and the Dumb appeared at almost the same time. She +raised some very perceptive objections which gave rise to an addition +dedicated to her[6]. I have done worse things than make this addition. + +Mademoiselle de La Chaux´s happiness had been somewhat restored. The doctor +cooked for us occasionally and these dinners were not too sorrowful. Since +Gardeil´s estrangement, Le Camus´ passion had made marvelous strides. One +day, at the table during dessert, as he was expressing it with all the +honesty, sensitivity and naïveté of a child, she said to him, with a +sincerity that pleased me greatly but which will perhaps displease others: +`Doctor, it would be impossible to heighten the respect I have for you. Your +kindnesses fulfill me, and I would be as gloomy as the monster of Hyacinthe +Street were I not steeped in the fiercest gratitude. You tell me of your +passion with such grace and sensitivity that I would be, I think, angry if +you were to stop. Just the idea of losing your company or of being deprived +of your friendship is enough to make me miserable. You are a good man, if +there ever was one. Your goodness and sweetness of character is incomparable. +I do not believe that a heart can fall into better hands. I appeal to my own +from morning till night in your favor, but appeal in vain to that which does +not desire it. I am not making any more progress. Meanwhile you will suffer, +and so I feel a vicious pain. I do not know anyone more worthy of the +happiness that you seek, and I do not know what I would not do to make you +happy. Anything is possible, without exception. I mean, doctor, I would... yes, +I would go so far as to sleep... so far as to include that. Do you want to +sleep with me? You only have to say so. That is all I can do for you. But you +want to be loved, and I do not know a way.´ + +The doctor listened to her, took her by the hand and kissed it, wet it with +tears. And I, I did not know whether I should laugh or cry. Mademoiselle de +La Chaux knew the doctor well. The next day I said to her, `But Mademoiselle, +if the doctor had said the word?´ She answered, `I would have kept my +promise, but that would never have happened; my offers were not of the sort +that would be accepted by a man like him...´ `Why not? It seems to me that if I +were in his position I would have simply hoped that the rest would follow.´ +`Yes, but if you were in his position, Mademoiselle de La Chaux would not +have made you the same proposition.´ + +The Hume translation had not made her very much money. The Dutch will print +anything provided they do not pay for it. + +--Lucky for us. Given all the restrictions we place on thought in our +country, if they even once decided to pay the authors they would bring the +entire book industry to their doorstep. + +--We advised her to write a light read, one that would bring her more profit +than respect. She worked for four or five months, at which point she brought +me a short historical fiction entitled "The Three Favorites." It had a +deftness of style, finesse and earnestness, but - without her having realized +it for she was incapable of any malice - it was scattered with a multitude of +details applicable to the King´s mistress, the Marquise of Pompadour; and I +did not conceal from her the fact that whatever the sacrifice, whether it be +in softening or removing these sections, it would be almost impossible for +her work to appear without compromising her, and that the unhappiness of +spoiling such a good thing would not guarantee her another. + +She sensed the truth in my observation and became only more distressed. The +good doctor predicted all her needs, but she accepted his charity with all +the more reservation, as she felt herself less disposed to the sort of +gratitude that he hoped to receive from her. Besides, the doctor[7] was not +wealthy then, and he was not particularly in a position to become wealthy. +From time to time she took her manuscript from its folder and said to me +sadly, `Well! There is no way to make anything of this. It will have to +remain there.´ I gave her some singular advice: send the work as is, without +toning it down or altering it, to Madame de Pompadour herself, with a +postscript explaining the delivery. This idea pleased her. She wrote a +charming letter on all counts, but most importantly with a tone of sincerity +to which it would be impossible to say no. Two or three months passed with no +word and she had deemed the attempt fruitless, until a Saint-Louis cross came +to her home with a letter from the marquise. The work was given the praise it +merited, she was thanked for her sacrifice, a market was acknowledged, no +offense was taken, and the author was invited to come to Versailles, where +she would find a gracious woman disposed to give the help that depended on +her. As he was leaving Mademoiselle de La Chaux´s home the envoy left a roll +of fifty louis smoothly on her mantelpiece. + +The doctor and I urged her to take advantage of Madame de Pompadour´s good +will, but we were working with a girl whose modesty and shyness matched her +merit. How to present oneself there in rags? The doctor raised this concern +immediately. After clothing there were other excuses, and then still more. +The voyage to Versailles was deferred from day to day until it was almost +inappropriate to go through with it. It had already been some time since we +had spoken to her about it when the same emissary returned with a second +letter filled with the kindest reproaches and another bonus offered with the +same gentleness as the first. This generous act of Madame de Pompadour has +never been discovered. I spoke of it to M. Collin, her confidant and +distributor of her secret favors. He had not heard of it, and I like to think +that it is not the only one that her tomb contains. + +It was thus that Mademoiselle de La Chaux twice missed the opportunity to +pull herself from poverty. + +She later moved to the outskirts of the city, and I entirely lost track of +her. From what I have learned of the remainder of her life, she had become +nothing but a fabric of grief, infirmity and misery. The doors of her family +were obstinately closed to her. In vain she solicited the intercession of the +saintly folk that had persecuted her with so much zeal. + +--According to custom. + +--The doctor did not abandon her. She died on straw, in an attic, while the +little tiger on Hyacinthe street, the only lover that she had had, practiced +medicine in Montpellier or Toulouse, and in the greatest comfort enjoyed his +well-deserved reputation as a clever man, and his usurped reputation as a +decent man. + +--But this is still more or less according to custom. If there is a good and +honest Tanié, Providence sends him to a Reymer. If there is a good and honest +La Chaux, she will come to be shared by a Gardeil[8], so that everything +happens for the best. + +One might answer that it is rash to make so definitive a pronouncement on the +character of a man based on a single act; that a rule so severe would reduce +the number of good men on earth to less than the Christian Gospel admits as +elect in heaven; that one can be fickle in love, even claim little devotion +to women without being deprived of honor or probity; that one is in control +neither of suppressing a passion that flares up, nor of prolonging one that +is ending; that there are already enough men in the streets and houses that +are fully worthy of the name scoundrel without inventing imaginary crimes +that multiply them to infinity. One might ask whether I have not betrayed, or +deceived, or abandoned a woman without mentioning it. If I desired to respond +to these questions my answers would not linger without retort, and it would +be a dispute that would last till judgment day. But lay hands on your +conscience, and tell me, you, Sir Apologist of the Unfaithful and the +Deceivers, if you would take the doctor from Toulouse as your friend?... You +hesitate? Everything is said, and I hereupon ask God to take under His holy +protection every woman to whom it will take your fancy to pay your respects. + + +ENDNOTES + +[Transcriber´s note: The notations (N.) and (BR.) designate footnotes taken +from the Naigeon and Brière editions, respectively. The endnotes by Assézat +are unmarked.] + +[1] In 1749, M. de Maurepas, still Secretary of the Navy, wrote Louis XV a +report in which he developed a strategy for opening trade relations with the +English colonies through inland Canada. This plan was thereafter adopted, and +Maurepas saw it executed before his death. (BR.) + +[2] This word alone would suffice to make the reader lose all confidence in +the account that follows it, and yet it is literally true. Diderot adds +nothing either to the events or to the temperaments of the characters he +introduces. Mademoiselle de La Chaux´s passion for Gardeil, the monstrous +ingratitude of her lover, the details of her meeting with him, of their +conversation in Diderot´s presence, who had accompanied her to the house of +this ferocious beast. The hopelessness touching this betrayed woman, +abandoned by him for which she had sacrificed her sleep, her fortune, her +reputation, her health, and even the charms by which she seduced him: all +this is of the greatest exactness. As Diderot knew the actors in this drama +particularly well, for the facts he had been witness to or the friendship +that had entrusted him with them were still recent when he resolved to record +them, his imagination had not had the time to alter them by adding or +subtracting some circumstance to produce a greater effect. And here again is +one of the fairly rare accounts of his life, where he says only what has +seen, and has seen only what was. + +As for the curious particularities that he recorded from Mademoiselle de La +Chaux and that he documented in his writing, I will add only a single fact - +that he omitted through forgetfulness and that was worthy of being conserved +- that this so tender, so passionate, so interesting by her extreme +sensibility and by her misfortunes, above all so worthy of a better fate, had +also been friends with D´Alembert and the Abbot de Condillac. She was in a +position to hear and assess the works of these two philosophers. She had even +given the latter, who´s Essay on the Origin of Human Knowledge she had read, +the very wise advice of returning to his first thoughts, and, if I may use +the expression, to begin at the beginning, i.e., the reject with Hobbes the +absurd hypothesis of a distinction between two substances in man. I dare say +that this very philosophical view, this sole idea of Mademoiselle de La Chaux +suggests more breadth, depth and accuracy in her mind that the whole of +Condillac´s metaphysics, in which there is in effect a radical and +destructive vice that affects the entire system, and yields more or less +vague and uncertain results. One sees that Mademoiselle de La Chaux sensed +this; and one regrets that Condillac, more docile to the judicious advice of +this enlightened woman with uncommon insight, did not follow the route that +she pointed him towards. He would not have scattered so many errors over the +one he decided upon, and upon which one can only run astray, as happens daily +to those that take him as their guide. See, on this philosopher, the +preliminary reflections that serve as an introduction to his article, in the +METHODICAL ENCYCLOPEDIA, Dictionary of Ancient and Modern Philosophy, t. II, +and what I have again in my Historical and Philosophical Memoires on the life +and work of Diderot. (N.) + +[3] Antoine de Ricouart, count of Hérouville, born in Paris in 1713, is the +author of Treatise on the Legions, which carries the name of the marshal of +Saxony [4], Paris, 1757. He furnished the authors of the Encyclopédie with +some curious dissertations. It was hoped that they be sent to the minister +under Louis XV, but an unequal marriage excluded it. He died in 1782. (BR.) + +[4] Only in the first three editions. The work had been first printed on a +copy communicated to the marshal and was found in his papers. + +[5] Montucla was only thirty years old when he published his History of +Mathematics, Paris, 1758. It was reviewed and finished by Lalande, Paris, +1799-1802. (Br.) + +[6] See t. 1, p. 399. + +[7] Le Camus (Antoine), who left behind other memories of charity. + +We owe to him a large number of works of literature and of medicine. We will +here cite only: The Medicine of the Mind, Paris, 1753. Strategy for Wiping +Out Smallpox, 1767. Practical Medicine Made Simpler, More Reliable and More +Methodical, 1769. Numerous memoirs on different subjects of medicine. +Abdéker, or the Art of Conserving Beauty, 1754-1756. Love and Friendship, +comedy, 1763. The Pastoral Romance of Daphnis and Chloe, translated from +Longus´ Greek by Amyot, with a double translation, Paris, 1757. This new +translation by Le Camus is still worth reading after the one just published +by M. Courier in Sainte-Pélagie, where he was detained for a work +commissioned by the estate of Chambord. Paris, 1821. (BR.) + +[8] Gardeil died on April 19, 1808, at the age of 82. We have from him a +Translation of Hippocrates´ Medical Works, from the Greek text according to +the Foës edition, Toulouse, 1801. (Br.)--He Practiced in Montpellier. + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THIS IS NOT A STORY*** + + +******* This file should be named 34544-8.txt or 34544-8.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/4/5/4/34544 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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