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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #51335 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/51335)
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-
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Fresh Air Fiend, by Kris Neville
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: Fresh Air Fiend
-
-Author: Kris Neville
-
-Release Date: March 1, 2016 [EBook #51335]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FRESH AIR FIEND ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
-
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-
-
-
-</pre>
-
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="362" height="500" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-<h1>Fresh Air Fiend</h1>
-
-<p>By KRIS NEVILLE</p>
-
-<p>Illustrated by KARL ROGERS</p>
-
-<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br />
-Galaxy Science Fiction February 1952.<br />
-Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br />
-the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p class="ph3"><i>Sick and helpless, he was very lucky to have a<br />
-faithful native woman to nurse him. Or was he?</i></p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>He rolled over to look at the plants. They were crinkled and dead and
-useless in the narrow flower box across the hut. He tried to draw his
-arm under his body to force himself erect. The reserve oxygen began to
-hiss in sleepily. He tried to signal Hertha to help him, but she was
-across the room with her back to him, her hands fumbling with a bowl of
-dark, syrupy medicine. His lips moved, but the words died in his throat.</p>
-
-<p>He wanted to explain to her that scientists in huge laboratories with
-many helpers and millions of dollars had been unable to find a cure
-for liguna fever. He wanted to explain that no brown liquid, made
-like cake batter, would cure the disease that had decimated the crews
-of two expeditions to Sitari and somehow gotten back to cut down the
-population of Wiblanihaven.</p>
-
-<p>But, watching her, he could understand what she thought she was doing.
-At one time she must have seen a pharmacist put chemicals into a mortar
-and grind them with a pestle. This, she must have remembered, was what
-people did to make medicine, and now she put what chemical-appearing
-substances she could locate&mdash;flour, powdered coffee, lemon extract,
-salt&mdash;into a bowl and mashed them together. She was very intent on her
-work and it probably made her feel almost helpful.</p>
-
-<p>Finally she moved out of his field of vision; he found that he could
-not turn his head to follow her with his eyes. He lay conscious but
-inert, like waterlogged wood on a river bottom. He heard sounds of her
-movement. At last he slept.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>He awakened with a start. His head was clearer than it had been for
-hours. He listened to the oxygen hissing in again. He tried to read the
-dial on the far wall, but it blurred before his eyes.</p>
-
-<p>"Hertha," he said.</p>
-
-<p>She came quickly to his cot.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus.jpg" width="600" height="396" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>"What does the oxygen register say?"</p>
-
-<p>"Oxygen register?"</p>
-
-<p>He gritted his teeth against the fever which began to shake his body
-mercilessly until he wanted to scream to make it stop. He became angry
-even as the fever shook him: angry not really at the doctors; not
-really at any one thing. Angry because the mountains did not care if
-he saw them; angry that the air did not care if he breathed it. Angry
-because, between planets, between suns, the coldness of space merely
-waited, not giving a damn.</p>
-
-<p>Several years ago&mdash;ten, twenty, perhaps more&mdash;some doctor had finally
-isolated a strain of the filterable virus of liguna fever that could
-be used as a vaccine: too weak to kill, but strong enough to produce
-immunity against its more virulent brother strains. That opened up the
-Sitari System for colonization and exploration and meant that the men
-who got there first would make fortunes.</p>
-
-<p>So he went to the base at Ke, first selling his strip mine property and
-disposing of his tools and equipping his spaceship for the intersolar
-trip; and at Ke they shot him full of the disease. But his bloodstream
-built no antibodies. The weakened virus settled in his nervous system
-and there was no way of getting it out. The doctors were very sorry
-for him, and they assured him it was a one-in-ten-thousand phenomenon.
-Thereafter, he suffered recurrent paralytic attacks.</p>
-
-<p>If it had not been for the advance warning&mdash;a pain at the base of
-his spine, a moment of violent trembling in his knees&mdash;he would have
-been forced to give up solitary strip mining altogether. As it was,
-whenever he felt the warning, he had to hurry to the nearest colony and
-be hospitalized for the duration of the attack. He had had four such
-warnings on this satellite, and three times he had gone to Pastiville
-on Helio and been cared for and come away with less money than he had
-gone with.</p>
-
-<p>His bank credit, once large, had slowly dribbled away, and now he
-made just about enough from his mining to care for himself during
-illness. He could not afford to hunt for less dangerous, less isolated
-work. It would not pay enough, for he knew how to do very little that
-civilization needed done. He was finally trapped; no longer could he
-afford a pilot for the long flight from Helio to a newer frontier, and
-he could not risk the trip alone.</p>
-
-<p>He lay waiting for the new spasm of fever and stared at Hertha who,
-this time, would care for him here and he would not need to go to a
-hospital. Perhaps, after a little while, he would be able to save
-enough to push on, through the awful indifference of space, to some new
-world where, with luck, there would be a sudden fortune.</p>
-
-<p>Then he could go back to civilization.</p>
-
-<p>He realized bitterly that he was merely telling himself he would go
-back. He knew there was only one direction he could go, and that
-direction was not back.</p>
-
-<p>Hertha waited, hurt-eyed, moving her pudgy hands helplessly.</p>
-
-<p>When the shaking subsided, he explained through chattering teeth about
-the oxygen register across the room, and she went away.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The fever vanished completely, leaving him listless. His hand, lying on
-the rough blanket, was abnormally white. He wiggled the fingers, but he
-could not feel the wool.</p>
-
-<p>His mouth was dry and he wanted a drink of water.</p>
-
-<p>Hertha moved out of his range of vision. He shifted his head on the
-damp pillow and watched her out of the corner of his eye.</p>
-
-<p>He had never heard her real name, but she did not seem to object to his
-name for her.</p>
-
-<div class="poetry">
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse">I am that which began;</div>
- <div class="verse">Out of me the years roll;</div>
- <div class="verse">Out of me God and man;</div>
- <div class="verse">I am equal and whole;</div>
- <div class="verse">God changes, and man,</div>
- <div class="verse">And the form of them bodily;</div>
- <div class="verse">I am the soul.</div>
-</div></div>
-
-<p>He tried to sit up again, but he was very weak. He wanted to quote
-it to her and tell her what he had never told her: that the name of
-it was <i>Hertha</i> and that it had been written long ago by a man named
-Swinburne, and he wanted to explain why he had named her after a poem,
-because it was very funny.</p>
-
-<p>The harsh light hurt his eyes and made him feel dizzy. He lay watching
-her as she bent toward the oxygen dial, wrinkling her face in animal
-concentration, trying to read it for him. Her puzzled expression was
-pathetic; it reminded him of the first time he had seen her.</p>
-
-<p>The walls began to spin crazily, for the hut had been intended for only
-one person.</p>
-
-<p>He remembered the first time he saw her, cowering in a filthy alleyway
-in the Miramus. At first he thought she had taken some food from a
-garbage pail and was trying to conceal it by holding it to her breast.
-But when the flare of a rocket leaving the field two blocks away lit
-the area for a moment, he saw that she was holding a tiny welikin,
-terribly mangled, looking as if it had just been run over by a heavy
-transport truck. He took it away from her and threw it into the
-darkness, shuddering.</p>
-
-<p>"It was dead," he said.</p>
-
-<p>She continued to stare at him, starting to cry silently, big, round,
-salt tears that she brushed at with reddened hands.</p>
-
-<p>"My&mdash;my&mdash;" she stammered.</p>
-
-<p>He had an eerie feeling that she was trying to say, "My baby," and he
-felt a little chill of pity creep up his spine.</p>
-
-<p>"What do you do?" he asked kindly.</p>
-
-<p>"Sweep floors. I work a little for the Commander's wife. Around her
-home."</p>
-
-<p>"How did you get here?"</p>
-
-<p>Still crying, she said, "On a rocket."</p>
-
-<p>"Of course. What I meant was...." But he did not need to ask how
-she had gotten passed the emigration officers. Some influential
-man&mdash;such things could happen, especially when the destination was a
-relatively new frontier, such as Helio, where there was little danger
-of investigation&mdash;had seen to it that certain answers were falsified;
-and a little money and a corrupt official had conspired to produce a
-passport which read, "Mentally and physically fit for colonization."</p>
-
-<p>The influential man had, in effect, bought and paid for a personal
-slave to bring with him to the stars. She would not know of her legal
-rights. She would be easily frightened and confused. And then something
-had happened, and for some reason she had been abandoned to shift for
-herself. Perhaps she had run away.</p>
-
-<p>He looked away from her face. This was none of his affair.</p>
-
-<p>"Never mind," he said. He reached into his pocket and gave her a few
-coins and then turned and walked rapidly away, suddenly anxious to see
-the bright, remembered face of the young colonist, Doris, Don's friend;
-a face that would chase away the memory of this pathetic creature.</p>
-
-<p>After a moment, he heard the pad of her feet hopefully, fearfully
-following him.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>She was standing beside his cot again, and he concentrated to make the
-walls stop spinning.</p>
-
-<p>"It had a blue line."</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, I know. Where?"</p>
-
-<p>She showed him with her fingers. "This much."</p>
-
-<p>"Halfway up?" he prompted.</p>
-
-<p>Dumbly, she nodded.</p>
-
-<p>He looked at the plants. "Hertha, listen. I've got to talk before the
-paralysis comes back. You'll have to listen very carefully and try to
-understand. I'll be all right in about ten days. You know that?"</p>
-
-<p>She nodded again.</p>
-
-<p>He took a deep breath that seemed to catch in his throat. "But you'll
-have to go outside before then."</p>
-
-<p>Hertha whimpered and fluttered her hands nervously.</p>
-
-<p>"I know you're afraid," he said. "I wouldn't ask you, but it has to be
-done. I can't go. You can see that, can't you? It has to be done."</p>
-
-<p>"Afraid!"</p>
-
-<p>"Nonsense!" he said harshly. "There's nothing to be afraid of. Put on
-the outside suit and nothing can hurt you."</p>
-
-<p>Moaning in fear, she shook her head.</p>
-
-<p>"Listen, Hertha! You've <i>got</i> to do it. For <i>me</i>!" He did not like
-to make the appeal personal. He would have preferred to convince her
-that fear of the outside was groundless. It was not possible. He had
-attempted, again and again, to explain that the tiny satellite with
-its poison air was completely harmless as long as she wore a surface
-suit. There was no alien life, no possible danger, outside this tiny
-square of insulated hut and breathable air. But it was useless. And the
-personal appeal was the only course remaining. It was as much for her
-sake as his; she also needed oxygen, but she could never understand
-that fact.</p>
-
-<p>"For you?" she asked.</p>
-
-<p>He nodded, feeling the fever rise. His face twisted in pain, and he
-stared pleadingly into her cow-like eyes: dumb eyes, animal eyes, brown
-and trusting and ... loyal. The paralysis struck. His voice would not
-come up out of his chest and the dizziness swamped his mind, and, in
-fever, he was once again in Pastiville, the nearest planet with an
-oxygen atmosphere.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Hertha followed him up the alley, out into the cheap glitter of
-Windopole Avenue, a rutted, smelly street which was the center of the
-port-workers' section. She followed him across Windopole, up Venus,
-across Nineshime. He turned into the Lexo Building, which had become
-shabby since he had seen it last, when it had been freshly painted. She
-did not follow him inside, and he breathed a sigh of relief and tried
-to put her out of his mind as he walked up the stairs to the room 17B.</p>
-
-<p>After a moment's hesitation, his heart knocking with pleasant
-anticipation, he pressed the buzzer.</p>
-
-<p>"Come in."</p>
-
-<p>He found the knob, twisted open the door, entered.</p>
-
-<p>"Why Jimmy!" the girl said in what seemed to be surprise and heavy
-delight. She crossed to him quickly and offered her lips to be kissed.
-"It's good to see you!"</p>
-
-<p>He took half a step backward, trying to keep the shock out of his face.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, it's <i>so</i> good to see you, Jimmy! Sit down. Tell me all about it,
-about everything. Did you make loads and loads of money? When did you
-get back? How's the lig fever?"</p>
-
-<p>He sat down, scarcely listening, studying the apartment, feeling
-vaguely ill. She was chattering, he realized, to overcome her
-embarrassment.</p>
-
-<p>"The books you ordered came. I've got them right here. They're all
-there but some poetry or other. There was a letter about that, but the
-people just said they didn't have it in stock. I opened it to see if it
-required an answer. Just a sec. I'll get them for you." She left the
-room with quick, nervous strides.</p>
-
-<p>The apartment had been redone since he had seen it. There were now
-expensive drapes at the windows, imported from somewhere; a genuine
-Earth tapestry hung above the door. Plump silken pillows scattered on
-the floor and a late model phono-general in the corner, with a gleaming
-cabinet and record spool accessory box.</p>
-
-<p>She came back with the books, neatly done up in a bundle.</p>
-
-<p>"I guess you still read as much as ever? Don said you always were a
-great reader."</p>
-
-<p>Uncomfortably, he stood up.</p>
-
-<p>She put the books on a low serving table, moistened her lips to make
-them glistening red. "Sit <i>down</i>, Jimmy!"</p>
-
-<p>He still stood.</p>
-
-<p>"<i>Jimmy!</i>" she said in mock anger. "Sit down! Goodness, it's good to
-have a fellow Earthman to talk to. I was so busy when you came by the
-other time, we scarcely had a <i>minute</i> to talk. I'd just got here, you
-remember.... Well, I'm settled now, so we'll just have to have a nice,
-long talk."</p>
-
-<p>He shifted on his feet.</p>
-
-<p>"I don't suppose you've heard from Don?" Her voice was strained, almost
-desperate. "Isn't it the oddest thing, him knowing you and me, and both
-of us right here?"</p>
-
-<p>"He told me to write how you were getting along?"</p>
-
-<p>"... Oh."</p>
-
-<p>He smiled without humor and felt like an old man. He wanted to explain
-how he had looked forward to seeing a person from his own planet again.
-Now he wanted to remind her of the girl he remembered: When she had
-just arrived, still unpacking, eager to start as a junior secretary for
-the League.</p>
-
-<p>"Thank you for letting me send the books here," he said. The sickness
-was heavy in the pit of his stomach, and suddenly he was hard and
-bitter. He quoted softly:</p>
-
-<div class="poetry">
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse">"The world forsaken,</div>
- <div class="verse">And out of mind</div>
- <div class="verse">Honor and labor,</div>
- <div class="verse">We shall not find</div>
- <div class="verse">The stars unkind."</div>
-</div></div>
-
-<p>"Old poetry? I guess you really do read a&mdash;" Then understanding made
-her eyes wince. "That wasn't intended to be very complimentary, was it,
-Jimmy?"</p>
-
-<p>Her name was no longer Doris; it was any of a thousand, and
-her perfume, heavy in his nostrils, was not her perfume or any
-individual's. She was there before him; she was real. But along with
-her were a thousand names and a thousand scents. There was the painful
-nostalgia of recognizing a strange room.</p>
-
-<p>Awkwardly he said, "I really must go. I'd like to have a long talk,
-but&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>Her lips parting in sudden artificiality, she crossed to him, reached
-for his hand with her own.</p>
-
-<p>In his mind was the heavy futility of repeating the same thing
-senselessly until it lost all meaning.</p>
-
-<p>"I apologize about the poem," he said, because he knew that it was not
-his place to speak of it.</p>
-
-<p>"That's all right," she said with hollow cheerfulness. Her mouth jerked
-and her eyes darkened. "Please don't go yet."</p>
-
-<p>The palms of his hands were moist. He looked around the apartment
-again, and he did not want to ask, to bring it out in cruel words. It
-was not the sort of thing one asked.</p>
-
-<p>"I really must go," he repeated levelly.</p>
-
-<p>She put her hands on his shoulders. "Please...."</p>
-
-<p>And then he saw that she intended to bribe him in the only way she knew
-how, and he said, "Don't worry, I won't tell Don."</p>
-
-<p>He saw relief on her face, and then he was out of the apartment,
-shaken. He felt as if he had been kicked in the stomach, and he was
-sickened and his hand trembled. He wanted to talk to someone and try to
-explain it.</p>
-
-<p>Hertha was waiting when he came out to the street.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The fever passed; control of his body returned.</p>
-
-<p>"For you?" Hertha asked.</p>
-
-<p>He half propped himself up on the cot. He waved his hand weakly. "Those
-dead plants. You must throw them out and bring in more."</p>
-
-<p>He listened tensely, imagining that he could hear the precious oxygen
-hiss in from the emergency tank to freshen and revitalize the dead air.
-Halfway down on the dial. Not enough for ten days, even for one person,
-unless the air was replenished by bringing in plants.</p>
-
-<p>"Hertha, we've got to purify this air. Now listen. Listen carefully,
-Hertha. You've seen me dig up those plants on the outside?"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, I watch when you go out. I always watch, Jimmy."</p>
-
-<p>"Good. You've got to do the same thing. You've got to go out and dig up
-some plants. You've got to bring them in here and plant them the way I
-did. You know which ones they are?"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes," she said.</p>
-
-<p>He closed his eyes, trying to think of a way to make her see how vital
-a thing a tiny plant could be. The complex chemistry of it bubbled to
-the surface of his mind. He wanted to tell her why the plants died in
-the artificial human atmosphere and had to be replaced every week or
-so. He wanted to tell her, but he was growing weaker.</p>
-
-<p>"They purify the air by releasing oxygen. You understand?"</p>
-
-<p>She nodded her head dumbly.</p>
-
-<p>"You must bring in a great many plants, Hertha. Remember that&mdash;a
-<i>great</i> many. Don't forget that. When you go outside, through the
-locks, we lose air. Air is very precious, so you must bring in a great
-many plants."</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, Jimmy."</p>
-
-<p>"And you must plant them as I did."</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, Jimmy."</p>
-
-<p>He began to talk faster, in a race with the growing fever.</p>
-
-<p>"I've gathered most of the oxygenating plants around the hut. So you
-may have to go into the forest to get enough."</p>
-
-<p>"The&mdash;the forest?"</p>
-
-<p>"You <i>must</i>, Hertha! You <i>must</i>!"</p>
-
-<p>Her mouth twisted as if she were ready to cry. "For you. Yes, for you I
-will go into the forest."</p>
-
-<p>The fever came back. His mind wandered away.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>He was walking in the open air. He walked from Nineshime to Venus, down
-Venus to Windopole, up Windopole to "The Grand Eagle and Barrel." He
-went in. Hertha came with him and sat down by his side at the bar.</p>
-
-<p>The bartender looked at him oddly. "She with you, Mac?"</p>
-
-<p>He turned to look at her; her dumb, brown eyes met his. He wanted to
-snarl: "Get the hell away! Leave me alone!" But he choked back the
-words. It was not Hertha he was angry with. She had done him no injury.
-She had merely followed him, perhaps because she knew of nothing else
-to do; perhaps because of temporary gratitude for the coins; perhaps
-in hope that he would buy her a drink. When the anger passed, he felt
-sorry for her again.</p>
-
-<p>He said, "Want a drink?"</p>
-
-<p>She shook her head without changing expression.</p>
-
-<p>He looked at her and shrugged and thought that after a while she would
-get tired and go away. He ordered, and the bartender brought a bottle
-and one glass.</p>
-
-<p>Hertha continued to stare at him; he tried to ignore her.</p>
-
-<p>He drank. He thought it would get easier to ignore her as the level of
-the bottle fell. It didn't. He drank some more. It grew late.</p>
-
-<p>"I gotta explain," he said, the liquor swirling in his mind.</p>
-
-<p>She waited, cow-eyed.</p>
-
-<p>"Ernest Dowson. Man's name. He wrote a poem&mdash;<i>Beata Solitudo</i>. I wanna
-explain this. Man lived long, long, long, long time ago. You listenin'?
-Okay. That's good. That's fine. He said&mdash;it's ver' importan' you should
-unnerstan' this&mdash;he said how you put honor and labor out of your mind
-when you ... you're out here. What he meant, it's ... it's ... you
-see.... Now I gotta make you see all this. So you listen real close
-while I tell it to you. There was a man named...."</p>
-
-<p>He wanted to explain how the frontier does things to people. He wanted
-to explain how society is a tight little box that keeps everything
-locked up and hidden, but how society breaks down and becomes fluid
-in the stars, and how people explode and forget what they learned in
-civilization, and how everything is unstable.</p>
-
-<p>"This man, his name's&mdash;" he said.</p>
-
-<p>He wanted to explain how the harsh elements and brute nature and space,
-the God-awful emptiness and indifference and the sense of aloneness and
-selfishness and....</p>
-
-<p>There were a thousand things he wanted to tell her. They were all the
-things he had thought about as he followed the frontier. If he could
-get it all down right, he could make her see why he had to follow the
-frontier as long as there was anything left inside of him.</p>
-
-<p>Maybe the rest of the people out here were that way, too. Maybe he had
-seen it in Doris' eyes tonight. Maybe that was why society broke down
-in the stars and civilization came only when men and women like him
-were gone.</p>
-
-<p>He did not want to know how the rest felt. He did not know whether it
-would be more terrifying to learn that he was alone, or that he was not
-alone.</p>
-
-<p>But just for tonight, he could tell the alien creature beside him. It
-would be safe to tell her&mdash;if the idea had not rusted inside of him so
-long that there were no longer any words to fit it.</p>
-
-<p>But first he had to make her see his home planet and the great cities
-and the landscaped valleys and the majestic mountains and the people.
-He had to make her see the vast sweep of the explorers who first
-carried the race to a million planets, who devised faster-than-light
-ships and metals to make the ships out of, metals to hold their forms
-in the crucible beyond normal space. He had to make her see the
-colonists who tied all the world together with spans of steel commerce
-and then moved on in ever-widening circles. He wanted to give her the
-whole picture.</p>
-
-<p>Then he wanted to explain the surge, the restlessness of the men at the
-frontier. Different men, he thought; from the womb of civilization,
-but unlike their brothers. The men who pushed out and out. Searching,
-always searching. He was afraid to find out if their reasons were the
-same as his. For himself, he had seen a thousand planets and a thousand
-new life-forms. But it was not enough. There were the vast, blank,
-empty, indifferent reaches of space beyond him, and that was what drove
-him on.</p>
-
-<p>This he wanted to say to Hertha: No matter how far you go, the thing
-that gets you is that there's nothing that cares; no matter how far,
-the thing is that nothing cares; the thing is that nothing cares. It
-gets you. And you have to go on because some day, somewhere, there may
-be&mdash;something.</p>
-
-<p>But he lost the trend of his thoughts completely, and he had another
-drink.</p>
-
-<p>"Decent people come out here...."</p>
-
-<p>What was he going to say about decent people?</p>
-
-<p>"Stupid!" he cried, slapping her in the face.</p>
-
-<p>She rubbed her cheek. "Stupid?"</p>
-
-<p>He wanted to cry, for he had not known that he was brutal. "Can't you
-see?" he screamed, and it was necessary to explain it to her; and then
-it was not necessary. "You're like the awful, indifferent, mindless
-blackness of space, unreasoning!"</p>
-
-<p>"Unreasoning," she repeated carefully.</p>
-
-<p>"You're <i>Hertha</i>!"</p>
-
-<p>"I'm Hertha," she said.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The period of calmness that returned after the fever was crystal and
-lucid, preceding, he knew, a severe, prolonged seizure.</p>
-
-<p>"I'm afraid," she told him, shivering, "but I will go."</p>
-
-<p>He watched her get into the light surface suit, clamp down the helmet
-with trembling hands. He was shaking with nervousness as she hesitated
-at the lock. Then she pulled it open. It clicked behind her. He heard
-the brief hiss of the oxygen replacing the air that had whooshed out.</p>
-
-<p>And he felt sorry for her, alone, terrified, on the scaly, hard
-surface of the tiny satellite. He closed his eyes, pictured her walking
-past his strip mine, past the gleaming heap of minerals ready for the
-transport.</p>
-
-<p>He felt tears in his eyes and yet he could not entirely explain his
-feelings toward her&mdash;half fear, sometimes half affection. But more
-important than that: Why was she with him? What were her feelings? Had
-some sense of gratitude made her come? Affection?</p>
-
-<p>He could not understand her. At times she seemed beyond all
-understanding. Her responses were mindless, almost mechanical, and that
-frightened him.</p>
-
-<p>He remembered her dumb, apologetic caresses and her pathetically clumsy
-tenderness&mdash;or reflex; he could never be sure&mdash;and her eager yet
-reluctant hands and the always slightly hurt, slightly accusing look in
-her eyes, as if at every instant she was ready for a stinging blow, and
-her great sighs, muted as if fearing to be heard and....</p>
-
-<p>He was drunk, screaming meaninglessly, and the bartender threw him out.
-The pavement cut his face. When he awoke, it was morning and he was in
-a strange room and she was in bed beside him.</p>
-
-<p>She said, "I am Hertha. I brought you home. I will go with you."</p>
-
-<p>The paralysis set in. He could not move. The tears froze on his cheeks,
-and he lay inert, thinking of her almost mindlessly fighting for his
-life in the alien outside.</p>
-
-<p>Then she was back in the hut. So soon?</p>
-
-<p>She looked at him, smiled through the transparent helmet at him. He
-could hear the precious oxygen hiss in to compensate for the air that
-had been lost when she entered.</p>
-
-<p>He could see her eyes. They were proud. Relieved, too, as if she had
-been afraid he would be gone when she returned. He felt she had hurried
-back to be sure that he was still there.</p>
-
-<p>She knelt by the flower bed and, without removing her suit, she held
-up the plant proudly. He could see the hard-packed dirt in the roots.
-Fascinated, he watched her scrape a planting hole. He watched her set
-the plant delicately and pat the soil with care.</p>
-
-<p>Then she stood up.</p>
-
-<p>He tried to move, to cry out. He could not.</p>
-
-<p>He watched her until she went out of the range of his fixed eyes. She
-was going to the airlock again.</p>
-
-<p>After a moment he heard the familiar hiss of oxygen.</p>
-
-<p>She was going to get a great number of plants.</p>
-
-<p>But one at a time.</p>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Fresh Air Fiend, by Kris Neville
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: Fresh Air Fiend
-
-Author: Kris Neville
-
-Release Date: March 1, 2016 [EBook #51335]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FRESH AIR FIEND ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- Fresh Air Fiend
-
- By KRIS NEVILLE
-
- Illustrated by KARL ROGERS
-
- [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
- Galaxy Science Fiction February 1952.
- Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
- the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
-
-
-
-
- Sick and helpless, he was very lucky to have a
- faithful native woman to nurse him. Or was he?
-
-
-He rolled over to look at the plants. They were crinkled and dead and
-useless in the narrow flower box across the hut. He tried to draw his
-arm under his body to force himself erect. The reserve oxygen began to
-hiss in sleepily. He tried to signal Hertha to help him, but she was
-across the room with her back to him, her hands fumbling with a bowl of
-dark, syrupy medicine. His lips moved, but the words died in his throat.
-
-He wanted to explain to her that scientists in huge laboratories with
-many helpers and millions of dollars had been unable to find a cure
-for liguna fever. He wanted to explain that no brown liquid, made
-like cake batter, would cure the disease that had decimated the crews
-of two expeditions to Sitari and somehow gotten back to cut down the
-population of Wiblanihaven.
-
-But, watching her, he could understand what she thought she was doing.
-At one time she must have seen a pharmacist put chemicals into a mortar
-and grind them with a pestle. This, she must have remembered, was what
-people did to make medicine, and now she put what chemical-appearing
-substances she could locate--flour, powdered coffee, lemon extract,
-salt--into a bowl and mashed them together. She was very intent on her
-work and it probably made her feel almost helpful.
-
-Finally she moved out of his field of vision; he found that he could
-not turn his head to follow her with his eyes. He lay conscious but
-inert, like waterlogged wood on a river bottom. He heard sounds of her
-movement. At last he slept.
-
- * * * * *
-
-He awakened with a start. His head was clearer than it had been for
-hours. He listened to the oxygen hissing in again. He tried to read the
-dial on the far wall, but it blurred before his eyes.
-
-"Hertha," he said.
-
-She came quickly to his cot.
-
-"What does the oxygen register say?"
-
-"Oxygen register?"
-
-He gritted his teeth against the fever which began to shake his body
-mercilessly until he wanted to scream to make it stop. He became angry
-even as the fever shook him: angry not really at the doctors; not
-really at any one thing. Angry because the mountains did not care if
-he saw them; angry that the air did not care if he breathed it. Angry
-because, between planets, between suns, the coldness of space merely
-waited, not giving a damn.
-
-Several years ago--ten, twenty, perhaps more--some doctor had finally
-isolated a strain of the filterable virus of liguna fever that could
-be used as a vaccine: too weak to kill, but strong enough to produce
-immunity against its more virulent brother strains. That opened up the
-Sitari System for colonization and exploration and meant that the men
-who got there first would make fortunes.
-
-So he went to the base at Ke, first selling his strip mine property and
-disposing of his tools and equipping his spaceship for the intersolar
-trip; and at Ke they shot him full of the disease. But his bloodstream
-built no antibodies. The weakened virus settled in his nervous system
-and there was no way of getting it out. The doctors were very sorry
-for him, and they assured him it was a one-in-ten-thousand phenomenon.
-Thereafter, he suffered recurrent paralytic attacks.
-
-If it had not been for the advance warning--a pain at the base of
-his spine, a moment of violent trembling in his knees--he would have
-been forced to give up solitary strip mining altogether. As it was,
-whenever he felt the warning, he had to hurry to the nearest colony and
-be hospitalized for the duration of the attack. He had had four such
-warnings on this satellite, and three times he had gone to Pastiville
-on Helio and been cared for and come away with less money than he had
-gone with.
-
-His bank credit, once large, had slowly dribbled away, and now he
-made just about enough from his mining to care for himself during
-illness. He could not afford to hunt for less dangerous, less isolated
-work. It would not pay enough, for he knew how to do very little that
-civilization needed done. He was finally trapped; no longer could he
-afford a pilot for the long flight from Helio to a newer frontier, and
-he could not risk the trip alone.
-
-He lay waiting for the new spasm of fever and stared at Hertha who,
-this time, would care for him here and he would not need to go to a
-hospital. Perhaps, after a little while, he would be able to save
-enough to push on, through the awful indifference of space, to some new
-world where, with luck, there would be a sudden fortune.
-
-Then he could go back to civilization.
-
-He realized bitterly that he was merely telling himself he would go
-back. He knew there was only one direction he could go, and that
-direction was not back.
-
-Hertha waited, hurt-eyed, moving her pudgy hands helplessly.
-
-When the shaking subsided, he explained through chattering teeth about
-the oxygen register across the room, and she went away.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The fever vanished completely, leaving him listless. His hand, lying on
-the rough blanket, was abnormally white. He wiggled the fingers, but he
-could not feel the wool.
-
-His mouth was dry and he wanted a drink of water.
-
-Hertha moved out of his range of vision. He shifted his head on the
-damp pillow and watched her out of the corner of his eye.
-
-He had never heard her real name, but she did not seem to object to his
-name for her.
-
- I am that which began;
- Out of me the years roll;
- Out of me God and man;
- I am equal and whole;
- God changes, and man,
- And the form of them bodily;
- I am the soul.
-
-He tried to sit up again, but he was very weak. He wanted to quote
-it to her and tell her what he had never told her: that the name of
-it was _Hertha_ and that it had been written long ago by a man named
-Swinburne, and he wanted to explain why he had named her after a poem,
-because it was very funny.
-
-The harsh light hurt his eyes and made him feel dizzy. He lay watching
-her as she bent toward the oxygen dial, wrinkling her face in animal
-concentration, trying to read it for him. Her puzzled expression was
-pathetic; it reminded him of the first time he had seen her.
-
-The walls began to spin crazily, for the hut had been intended for only
-one person.
-
-He remembered the first time he saw her, cowering in a filthy alleyway
-in the Miramus. At first he thought she had taken some food from a
-garbage pail and was trying to conceal it by holding it to her breast.
-But when the flare of a rocket leaving the field two blocks away lit
-the area for a moment, he saw that she was holding a tiny welikin,
-terribly mangled, looking as if it had just been run over by a heavy
-transport truck. He took it away from her and threw it into the
-darkness, shuddering.
-
-"It was dead," he said.
-
-She continued to stare at him, starting to cry silently, big, round,
-salt tears that she brushed at with reddened hands.
-
-"My--my--" she stammered.
-
-He had an eerie feeling that she was trying to say, "My baby," and he
-felt a little chill of pity creep up his spine.
-
-"What do you do?" he asked kindly.
-
-"Sweep floors. I work a little for the Commander's wife. Around her
-home."
-
-"How did you get here?"
-
-Still crying, she said, "On a rocket."
-
-"Of course. What I meant was...." But he did not need to ask how
-she had gotten passed the emigration officers. Some influential
-man--such things could happen, especially when the destination was a
-relatively new frontier, such as Helio, where there was little danger
-of investigation--had seen to it that certain answers were falsified;
-and a little money and a corrupt official had conspired to produce a
-passport which read, "Mentally and physically fit for colonization."
-
-The influential man had, in effect, bought and paid for a personal
-slave to bring with him to the stars. She would not know of her legal
-rights. She would be easily frightened and confused. And then something
-had happened, and for some reason she had been abandoned to shift for
-herself. Perhaps she had run away.
-
-He looked away from her face. This was none of his affair.
-
-"Never mind," he said. He reached into his pocket and gave her a few
-coins and then turned and walked rapidly away, suddenly anxious to see
-the bright, remembered face of the young colonist, Doris, Don's friend;
-a face that would chase away the memory of this pathetic creature.
-
-After a moment, he heard the pad of her feet hopefully, fearfully
-following him.
-
- * * * * *
-
-She was standing beside his cot again, and he concentrated to make the
-walls stop spinning.
-
-"It had a blue line."
-
-"Yes, I know. Where?"
-
-She showed him with her fingers. "This much."
-
-"Halfway up?" he prompted.
-
-Dumbly, she nodded.
-
-He looked at the plants. "Hertha, listen. I've got to talk before the
-paralysis comes back. You'll have to listen very carefully and try to
-understand. I'll be all right in about ten days. You know that?"
-
-She nodded again.
-
-He took a deep breath that seemed to catch in his throat. "But you'll
-have to go outside before then."
-
-Hertha whimpered and fluttered her hands nervously.
-
-"I know you're afraid," he said. "I wouldn't ask you, but it has to be
-done. I can't go. You can see that, can't you? It has to be done."
-
-"Afraid!"
-
-"Nonsense!" he said harshly. "There's nothing to be afraid of. Put on
-the outside suit and nothing can hurt you."
-
-Moaning in fear, she shook her head.
-
-"Listen, Hertha! You've _got_ to do it. For _me_!" He did not like
-to make the appeal personal. He would have preferred to convince her
-that fear of the outside was groundless. It was not possible. He had
-attempted, again and again, to explain that the tiny satellite with
-its poison air was completely harmless as long as she wore a surface
-suit. There was no alien life, no possible danger, outside this tiny
-square of insulated hut and breathable air. But it was useless. And the
-personal appeal was the only course remaining. It was as much for her
-sake as his; she also needed oxygen, but she could never understand
-that fact.
-
-"For you?" she asked.
-
-He nodded, feeling the fever rise. His face twisted in pain, and he
-stared pleadingly into her cow-like eyes: dumb eyes, animal eyes, brown
-and trusting and ... loyal. The paralysis struck. His voice would not
-come up out of his chest and the dizziness swamped his mind, and, in
-fever, he was once again in Pastiville, the nearest planet with an
-oxygen atmosphere.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Hertha followed him up the alley, out into the cheap glitter of
-Windopole Avenue, a rutted, smelly street which was the center of the
-port-workers' section. She followed him across Windopole, up Venus,
-across Nineshime. He turned into the Lexo Building, which had become
-shabby since he had seen it last, when it had been freshly painted. She
-did not follow him inside, and he breathed a sigh of relief and tried
-to put her out of his mind as he walked up the stairs to the room 17B.
-
-After a moment's hesitation, his heart knocking with pleasant
-anticipation, he pressed the buzzer.
-
-"Come in."
-
-He found the knob, twisted open the door, entered.
-
-"Why Jimmy!" the girl said in what seemed to be surprise and heavy
-delight. She crossed to him quickly and offered her lips to be kissed.
-"It's good to see you!"
-
-He took half a step backward, trying to keep the shock out of his face.
-
-"Oh, it's _so_ good to see you, Jimmy! Sit down. Tell me all about it,
-about everything. Did you make loads and loads of money? When did you
-get back? How's the lig fever?"
-
-He sat down, scarcely listening, studying the apartment, feeling
-vaguely ill. She was chattering, he realized, to overcome her
-embarrassment.
-
-"The books you ordered came. I've got them right here. They're all
-there but some poetry or other. There was a letter about that, but the
-people just said they didn't have it in stock. I opened it to see if it
-required an answer. Just a sec. I'll get them for you." She left the
-room with quick, nervous strides.
-
-The apartment had been redone since he had seen it. There were now
-expensive drapes at the windows, imported from somewhere; a genuine
-Earth tapestry hung above the door. Plump silken pillows scattered on
-the floor and a late model phono-general in the corner, with a gleaming
-cabinet and record spool accessory box.
-
-She came back with the books, neatly done up in a bundle.
-
-"I guess you still read as much as ever? Don said you always were a
-great reader."
-
-Uncomfortably, he stood up.
-
-She put the books on a low serving table, moistened her lips to make
-them glistening red. "Sit _down_, Jimmy!"
-
-He still stood.
-
-"_Jimmy!_" she said in mock anger. "Sit down! Goodness, it's good to
-have a fellow Earthman to talk to. I was so busy when you came by the
-other time, we scarcely had a _minute_ to talk. I'd just got here, you
-remember.... Well, I'm settled now, so we'll just have to have a nice,
-long talk."
-
-He shifted on his feet.
-
-"I don't suppose you've heard from Don?" Her voice was strained, almost
-desperate. "Isn't it the oddest thing, him knowing you and me, and both
-of us right here?"
-
-"He told me to write how you were getting along?"
-
-"... Oh."
-
-He smiled without humor and felt like an old man. He wanted to explain
-how he had looked forward to seeing a person from his own planet again.
-Now he wanted to remind her of the girl he remembered: When she had
-just arrived, still unpacking, eager to start as a junior secretary for
-the League.
-
-"Thank you for letting me send the books here," he said. The sickness
-was heavy in the pit of his stomach, and suddenly he was hard and
-bitter. He quoted softly:
-
- "The world forsaken,
- And out of mind
- Honor and labor,
- We shall not find
- The stars unkind."
-
-"Old poetry? I guess you really do read a--" Then understanding made
-her eyes wince. "That wasn't intended to be very complimentary, was it,
-Jimmy?"
-
-Her name was no longer Doris; it was any of a thousand, and
-her perfume, heavy in his nostrils, was not her perfume or any
-individual's. She was there before him; she was real. But along with
-her were a thousand names and a thousand scents. There was the painful
-nostalgia of recognizing a strange room.
-
-Awkwardly he said, "I really must go. I'd like to have a long talk,
-but--"
-
-Her lips parting in sudden artificiality, she crossed to him, reached
-for his hand with her own.
-
-In his mind was the heavy futility of repeating the same thing
-senselessly until it lost all meaning.
-
-"I apologize about the poem," he said, because he knew that it was not
-his place to speak of it.
-
-"That's all right," she said with hollow cheerfulness. Her mouth jerked
-and her eyes darkened. "Please don't go yet."
-
-The palms of his hands were moist. He looked around the apartment
-again, and he did not want to ask, to bring it out in cruel words. It
-was not the sort of thing one asked.
-
-"I really must go," he repeated levelly.
-
-She put her hands on his shoulders. "Please...."
-
-And then he saw that she intended to bribe him in the only way she knew
-how, and he said, "Don't worry, I won't tell Don."
-
-He saw relief on her face, and then he was out of the apartment,
-shaken. He felt as if he had been kicked in the stomach, and he was
-sickened and his hand trembled. He wanted to talk to someone and try to
-explain it.
-
-Hertha was waiting when he came out to the street.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The fever passed; control of his body returned.
-
-"For you?" Hertha asked.
-
-He half propped himself up on the cot. He waved his hand weakly. "Those
-dead plants. You must throw them out and bring in more."
-
-He listened tensely, imagining that he could hear the precious oxygen
-hiss in from the emergency tank to freshen and revitalize the dead air.
-Halfway down on the dial. Not enough for ten days, even for one person,
-unless the air was replenished by bringing in plants.
-
-"Hertha, we've got to purify this air. Now listen. Listen carefully,
-Hertha. You've seen me dig up those plants on the outside?"
-
-"Yes, I watch when you go out. I always watch, Jimmy."
-
-"Good. You've got to do the same thing. You've got to go out and dig up
-some plants. You've got to bring them in here and plant them the way I
-did. You know which ones they are?"
-
-"Yes," she said.
-
-He closed his eyes, trying to think of a way to make her see how vital
-a thing a tiny plant could be. The complex chemistry of it bubbled to
-the surface of his mind. He wanted to tell her why the plants died in
-the artificial human atmosphere and had to be replaced every week or
-so. He wanted to tell her, but he was growing weaker.
-
-"They purify the air by releasing oxygen. You understand?"
-
-She nodded her head dumbly.
-
-"You must bring in a great many plants, Hertha. Remember that--a
-_great_ many. Don't forget that. When you go outside, through the
-locks, we lose air. Air is very precious, so you must bring in a great
-many plants."
-
-"Yes, Jimmy."
-
-"And you must plant them as I did."
-
-"Yes, Jimmy."
-
-He began to talk faster, in a race with the growing fever.
-
-"I've gathered most of the oxygenating plants around the hut. So you
-may have to go into the forest to get enough."
-
-"The--the forest?"
-
-"You _must_, Hertha! You _must_!"
-
-Her mouth twisted as if she were ready to cry. "For you. Yes, for you I
-will go into the forest."
-
-The fever came back. His mind wandered away.
-
- * * * * *
-
-He was walking in the open air. He walked from Nineshime to Venus, down
-Venus to Windopole, up Windopole to "The Grand Eagle and Barrel." He
-went in. Hertha came with him and sat down by his side at the bar.
-
-The bartender looked at him oddly. "She with you, Mac?"
-
-He turned to look at her; her dumb, brown eyes met his. He wanted to
-snarl: "Get the hell away! Leave me alone!" But he choked back the
-words. It was not Hertha he was angry with. She had done him no injury.
-She had merely followed him, perhaps because she knew of nothing else
-to do; perhaps because of temporary gratitude for the coins; perhaps
-in hope that he would buy her a drink. When the anger passed, he felt
-sorry for her again.
-
-He said, "Want a drink?"
-
-She shook her head without changing expression.
-
-He looked at her and shrugged and thought that after a while she would
-get tired and go away. He ordered, and the bartender brought a bottle
-and one glass.
-
-Hertha continued to stare at him; he tried to ignore her.
-
-He drank. He thought it would get easier to ignore her as the level of
-the bottle fell. It didn't. He drank some more. It grew late.
-
-"I gotta explain," he said, the liquor swirling in his mind.
-
-She waited, cow-eyed.
-
-"Ernest Dowson. Man's name. He wrote a poem--_Beata Solitudo_. I wanna
-explain this. Man lived long, long, long, long time ago. You listenin'?
-Okay. That's good. That's fine. He said--it's ver' importan' you should
-unnerstan' this--he said how you put honor and labor out of your mind
-when you ... you're out here. What he meant, it's ... it's ... you
-see.... Now I gotta make you see all this. So you listen real close
-while I tell it to you. There was a man named...."
-
-He wanted to explain how the frontier does things to people. He wanted
-to explain how society is a tight little box that keeps everything
-locked up and hidden, but how society breaks down and becomes fluid
-in the stars, and how people explode and forget what they learned in
-civilization, and how everything is unstable.
-
-"This man, his name's--" he said.
-
-He wanted to explain how the harsh elements and brute nature and space,
-the God-awful emptiness and indifference and the sense of aloneness and
-selfishness and....
-
-There were a thousand things he wanted to tell her. They were all the
-things he had thought about as he followed the frontier. If he could
-get it all down right, he could make her see why he had to follow the
-frontier as long as there was anything left inside of him.
-
-Maybe the rest of the people out here were that way, too. Maybe he had
-seen it in Doris' eyes tonight. Maybe that was why society broke down
-in the stars and civilization came only when men and women like him
-were gone.
-
-He did not want to know how the rest felt. He did not know whether it
-would be more terrifying to learn that he was alone, or that he was not
-alone.
-
-But just for tonight, he could tell the alien creature beside him. It
-would be safe to tell her--if the idea had not rusted inside of him so
-long that there were no longer any words to fit it.
-
-But first he had to make her see his home planet and the great cities
-and the landscaped valleys and the majestic mountains and the people.
-He had to make her see the vast sweep of the explorers who first
-carried the race to a million planets, who devised faster-than-light
-ships and metals to make the ships out of, metals to hold their forms
-in the crucible beyond normal space. He had to make her see the
-colonists who tied all the world together with spans of steel commerce
-and then moved on in ever-widening circles. He wanted to give her the
-whole picture.
-
-Then he wanted to explain the surge, the restlessness of the men at the
-frontier. Different men, he thought; from the womb of civilization,
-but unlike their brothers. The men who pushed out and out. Searching,
-always searching. He was afraid to find out if their reasons were the
-same as his. For himself, he had seen a thousand planets and a thousand
-new life-forms. But it was not enough. There were the vast, blank,
-empty, indifferent reaches of space beyond him, and that was what drove
-him on.
-
-This he wanted to say to Hertha: No matter how far you go, the thing
-that gets you is that there's nothing that cares; no matter how far,
-the thing is that nothing cares; the thing is that nothing cares. It
-gets you. And you have to go on because some day, somewhere, there may
-be--something.
-
-But he lost the trend of his thoughts completely, and he had another
-drink.
-
-"Decent people come out here...."
-
-What was he going to say about decent people?
-
-"Stupid!" he cried, slapping her in the face.
-
-She rubbed her cheek. "Stupid?"
-
-He wanted to cry, for he had not known that he was brutal. "Can't you
-see?" he screamed, and it was necessary to explain it to her; and then
-it was not necessary. "You're like the awful, indifferent, mindless
-blackness of space, unreasoning!"
-
-"Unreasoning," she repeated carefully.
-
-"You're _Hertha_!"
-
-"I'm Hertha," she said.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The period of calmness that returned after the fever was crystal and
-lucid, preceding, he knew, a severe, prolonged seizure.
-
-"I'm afraid," she told him, shivering, "but I will go."
-
-He watched her get into the light surface suit, clamp down the helmet
-with trembling hands. He was shaking with nervousness as she hesitated
-at the lock. Then she pulled it open. It clicked behind her. He heard
-the brief hiss of the oxygen replacing the air that had whooshed out.
-
-And he felt sorry for her, alone, terrified, on the scaly, hard
-surface of the tiny satellite. He closed his eyes, pictured her walking
-past his strip mine, past the gleaming heap of minerals ready for the
-transport.
-
-He felt tears in his eyes and yet he could not entirely explain his
-feelings toward her--half fear, sometimes half affection. But more
-important than that: Why was she with him? What were her feelings? Had
-some sense of gratitude made her come? Affection?
-
-He could not understand her. At times she seemed beyond all
-understanding. Her responses were mindless, almost mechanical, and that
-frightened him.
-
-He remembered her dumb, apologetic caresses and her pathetically clumsy
-tenderness--or reflex; he could never be sure--and her eager yet
-reluctant hands and the always slightly hurt, slightly accusing look in
-her eyes, as if at every instant she was ready for a stinging blow, and
-her great sighs, muted as if fearing to be heard and....
-
-He was drunk, screaming meaninglessly, and the bartender threw him out.
-The pavement cut his face. When he awoke, it was morning and he was in
-a strange room and she was in bed beside him.
-
-She said, "I am Hertha. I brought you home. I will go with you."
-
-The paralysis set in. He could not move. The tears froze on his cheeks,
-and he lay inert, thinking of her almost mindlessly fighting for his
-life in the alien outside.
-
-Then she was back in the hut. So soon?
-
-She looked at him, smiled through the transparent helmet at him. He
-could hear the precious oxygen hiss in to compensate for the air that
-had been lost when she entered.
-
-He could see her eyes. They were proud. Relieved, too, as if she had
-been afraid he would be gone when she returned. He felt she had hurried
-back to be sure that he was still there.
-
-She knelt by the flower bed and, without removing her suit, she held
-up the plant proudly. He could see the hard-packed dirt in the roots.
-Fascinated, he watched her scrape a planting hole. He watched her set
-the plant delicately and pat the soil with care.
-
-Then she stood up.
-
-He tried to move, to cry out. He could not.
-
-He watched her until she went out of the range of his fixed eyes. She
-was going to the airlock again.
-
-After a moment he heard the familiar hiss of oxygen.
-
-She was going to get a great number of plants.
-
-But one at a time.
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Fresh Air Fiend, by Kris Neville
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