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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. 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A. Lafferty - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Aloys - -Author: R. A. Lafferty - -Release Date: March 29, 2016 [EBook #51596] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ALOYS *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="401" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="titlepage"> -<h1>ALOYS</h1> - -<p>BY R. A. LAFFERTY</p> - -<p>Illustrated by WALKER</p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Galaxy Magazine August 1961.<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph3"><i>He appeared in glory and sank without<br /> -a trace. Why? How? For the first time<br /> -anywhere, here is the startling inside story.</i></p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>He had flared up more brightly than anyone in memory. And then he was -gone. Yet there was ironic laughter where he had been; and his ghost -still walked. That was the oddest thing: to encounter his ghost.</p> - -<p>It was like coming suddenly on Haley's Comet drinking beer at the -Plugged Nickel Bar, and having it deny that it was a celestial -phenomenon at all, that it had ever been beyond the sun. For he could -have been the man of the century, and now it was not even known if he -was alive. And if he were alive, it would be very odd if he would be -hanging around places like the Plugged Nickel Bar.</p> - -<p>This all begins with the award. But before that it begins with the man.</p> - -<p>Professor Aloys Foulcault-Oeg was acutely embarrassed and in a state of -dread.</p> - -<p>"These I have to speak to, all these great men. Is even glory worth -the price when it must be paid in such coin?"</p> - -<p>Aloys did not have the amenities, the polish, the tact. A child of -penury, he had all his life eaten bread that was part sawdust, and worn -shoes that were part cardboard. He had an overcoat that had been his -father's, and before that his grandfather's.</p> - -<p>This coat was no longer handsome, its holes being stuffed and quilted -with ancient rags. It was long past its years of greatness, and even -when Aloys had inherited it as a young man it was in the afternoon of -its life. And yet it was worth more than anything else he owned in the -world.</p> - -<p>Professor Aloys had become great in spite of—or because of?—his -poverty. He had worked out his finest theory, a series of nineteen -interlocked equations of cosmic shapeliness and simplicity. He had -worked it out on a great piece of butchers' paper soaked with lamb's -blood, and had so given it to the world.</p> - -<p>And once it was given, it was almost as though nothing else could be -added on any subject whatsoever. Any further detailing would be only -footnotes to it and all the sciences no more than commentaries.</p> - -<p>Naturally this made him famous. But the beauty of it was that it -made him famous, not to the commonalty of mankind (this would have -been a burden to his sensitively tuned soul), but to a small and -scattered class of extremely erudite men (about a score of them in the -world). Their recognition brought him almost, if not quite, complete -satisfaction.</p> - -<p>But he was not famous in his own street or his own quarter of town. And -it was in this stark conglomerate of dark-souled alleys and roofs that -Professor Aloys had lived all his life till just thirty-seven days ago.</p> - -<p>When he received the announcement, award, and invitation, he quickly -calculated the time. It was not very long to allow travel halfway -around the world. Being locked out of his rooms, as he often was, he -was unencumbered by baggage or furniture, and he left for the ceremony -at once.</p> - -<p>With the announcement, award, and invitation, there had also been a -check; but as he was not overly familiar with the world of finance or -with the English language in which it was written, he did not recognize -it for what it was. Having used the back of it to write down a formula -that had crept into his mind, he shoved the check, forgotten, into one -of the pockets of his greatcoat.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>For three days he rode a river boat to the port city, hidden and -hungry. There he concealed himself on an ocean tramp. That he did not -starve on this was due to the caprice of the low-lifers who discovered -him, for they made him stay hidden in a terrible bunker and every day -or two they passed in a bucket to him.</p> - -<p>Then, several ports and many days later, he left the ship like a -crippled, dirty animal. And it was in That City and on That Day. For -the award was to be that evening.</p> - -<p>"These I have to speak to, all these wonderful men who are higher than -the grocers, higher than the butchers even. These men get more respect -than a policeman, than a canal boat captain. They are wiser than a -mayor and more honored than a merchant. They know arts more intricate -than a clock-maker's and are virtuous beyond the politicians. More -perspicacious than editors, more talented than actors, these are the -great men of the world. And I am only Aloys, and now I am too ragged -and dirty even to be Aloys any more. I no longer am a man with a name."</p> - -<p>For he was very humble as he walked the great town where even the shop -girls were dressed like princesses, and all the restaurants were so -fine that only the rich people would have dared to go in them at all. -Had there been poor people (and there were none) there would have been -no place for them to eat.</p> - -<p>"But it is to me they have given the prize. Not to Schellendore and not -to Ottlebaum, not to Francks nor Timiryaseff, not even to Pitirim-Koss, -the latchet of whose shoe I am not—but why do I say that?—he was not, -after all, very bright—all of them are inadequate in some way—the -only one who was ever able to get to the heart of these great things -was Aloys Foulcault-Oeg, who happens to be myself. It is a strange -thing that they should honor me, and yet I believe they could not have -made a better choice."</p> - -<p>So pride and fear warred in him, but it was always the pride that lost. -For he had only a little bit of pride, undernourished and on quaking -ground, and against it was a whole legion of fears, apprehensions, -shames, dreads, embarrassments, and nightmarish bashfulnesses.</p> - -<p>He begged a little bit when he had found a poor part of town. But even -here the people were of the rich poor, not the poor as he had known -them.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus1.jpg" width="174" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>When he had money in his pocket, he had a meal. Then he went to Jiffy -Quick While You Wait Cleaners Open Day and Night to have his clothes -cleaned. He wrapped himself in dignity and a blanket while he waited. -And as the daylight was coming to an end, they brought his clothes back -to him.</p> - -<p>"We have done all we could do. If we had a week or a month, we might do -a little more, but not much."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Then he went out into the town, cleaner than he had been in many -years, and he walked to the hall of the Commendation and Award. Here -he watched all the great men arrive in private cars and taxis: Ergodic -Eimer, August Angstrom, Vladimir Vor. He watched them and thought of -what he would say to them, and then he realized that he had forgotten -his English.</p> - -<p>"I remember dog, that is the first word I ever learned, but what will I -say to them about a dog? I remember house and horse and apple and fish. -Oh, now I remember the entire language. But what if I forget it again? -Would it not be an odd speech if I could only say apple and fish and -house and dog? I would be shamed."</p> - -<p>He wished he were rich and could dress in white like the street -sweepers, or in black leather like the newsboy on the corner. He saw -Edward Edelstein and Christopher Cronin enter and he cowered on the -street and knew that he would never be able to talk to those great men.</p> - -<p>A fine gentleman came out and walked directly to him.</p> - -<p>"You are the great Professor Foulcault-Oeg? I would have known you -anywhere. True greatness shines from you. Our city is honored tonight. -Come inside and we will go to a little room apart, for I see that -you will have to compose yourself first. I am Graf-Doktor Hercule -Bienville-Stravroguine."</p> - -<p>Whyever he said he was the Graf-Doktor is a mystery, because he was -Willy McGilly and the other was just a name that he made up that minute.</p> - -<p>Within, they went to a small room behind the cloak room. But here, in -spite of the smooth kindness of the gracious gentleman, Aloys knew -that he would never be able to compose himself. He was an epouvantail, -a pugalo, a clown, a ragamuffin. He looked at the nineteen-point -outline of the address he was to give. He shuddered and he gobbled -like a turkey. He sniffled and he wiped his nose on his sleeve. He was -terrified that the climax of his life's work should find him too craven -to accept it. And he discovered that he had forgotten his English -again.</p> - -<p>"I remember bread and butter, but I don't know which one goes on top. -I know pencil and pen-knife and bed, but I have entirely forgotten the -word for maternal uncle. I remember plow, but what in the world will I -say to all these great men about a plow? I pray that this cup may pass -from me."</p> - -<p>Then he disintegrated in one abject mass of terror. Several minutes -went by.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>But when he emerged from the room he was a different man entirely. -Erect, alive, intense, queerly handsome, and now in formal attire, he -mounted with the sure grace of a panther to the speaker's platform. -Once only he glanced at the nineteen-point outline of his address. -As there is no point in keeping it a secret, it was as follows: 1. -Cepheid and Cerium—How Long Is a Yardstick? 2. Double Trouble—Is -Ours a Binary Universe? 3. Cerebrum and Cortex—the Mathematics of -Melancholia. 4. Microphysics and Megacyclic Polyneums. 5. <i>Ego, No, -Hemeis</i>—the Personality of the Subconscious. 6. Linear Convexity -and Lateral Intransigence. 7. Betelgeuse Betrayed—the Myth of -Magnitude. 8. Mu-Meson, the Secret of Metamorphosis. 9. Theogony and -Tremor—the Mathematics of Seismology. 10. Planck's Constant and -Agnesi's Variable. 11. Dien-cephalon and Di-Gamma—Unconscionable -Thoughts about Consciousness. 12. Inverse Squares and the Quintesimal -Radicals. 13. The Chain of Error in the Lineal B Translation. 14. -Skepticism—the Humor of the Humorless. 15. Ogive and Volute—Thoughts -on Celestial Curviture. 16. Conic Sections—Small Pieces of Infinity. -17. Eschatology—Medium Thoughts about the End. 18. Hypo-polarity and -Cosmic Hysteresis. 19. The Invisible Quadratic, or This is All Simpler -than You Think.</p> - -<p>You will immediately see the beauty of this skeleton, and yet to flesh -it would not be the work of an ordinary man.</p> - -<p>He glanced over it with the sure smile of complete confidence. Then he -spoke softly to the master of ceremonies in a whisper with a rumble -that could be heard throughout the hall.</p> - -<p>"I am here. I will begin. There is no need for any further -introduction."</p> - -<p>For the next three and a half hours he held that intelligent audience -completely spellbound, enchanted. They followed, or seemed to follow, -his lightning flashes of metaphor illumining the craggy chasms of his -vasty subjects.</p> - -<p>They thrilled to the magnetic power of his voice, urbane yet untamed, -with its polyglot phrasing and its bare touch of accent so strange as -to be baffling; ancient, surely, and yet from a land beyond the Pale. -And they quivered with interior pleasure at the glorious unfolding in -climax after climax of these before only half-glimpsed vistas.</p> - -<p>Here was a world of mystery revealed in all its wildness, and it obeyed -and stood still, and he named its name. The nebula and the conch lay -down together, and the ultra-galaxies equated themselves with the zeta -mesons. Like a rich householder, he brought from his store treasures -old and new, and nothing like them had ever been seen or heard before.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>At one point Professor Timiryaseff cried out in bafflement and -incomprehension, and Doctor Ergodic Eimer buried his face in his hands, -for even these most erudite men could not glimpse all the shattering -profundity revealed by the fantastic speaker.</p> - -<p>And when it was over they were limp and delighted that so much had been -made known to them. They had the crown without the cross, and the odd -little genius had filled them with a rich glow.</p> - -<p>The rest was perfunctory, commendations and testimonials from all -the great men. The trophy, heavy and rich but not flashy, worth the -lifetime salary of a professor of mathematics, was accepted almost -carelessly. And then the cup was passed quietly, which is to say the -tall cool glasses went around as the men still lingered and talked with -hushed pleasure.</p> - -<p>"Gin," said the astonishing orator. "It is the drink of bums and -impoverished scholars, and I am both. Yes, anything at all with it."</p> - -<p>Then he spoke to Maecenas, who was at his side, the patron who was -footing the bill for all this gracious extravagance.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus2.jpg" width="600" height="448" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>"The check I have never cashed, having been much in movement since I -have received it. And as to me it is a large amount, though perhaps not -to others, and as you yourself have signed it, I wonder if you could -cash it for me now."</p> - -<p>"At once," said Maecenas, "at once. Ten minutes and we shall have the -sum here. Ah, you have endorsed it with a formula! Who but Professor -Aloys Foulcault-Oeg could be so droll? Look, he has endorsed it with a -formula!"</p> - -<p>"Look, look! Let us copy! Why, this is marvelous! It takes us even -beyond his great speech of tonight. The implications of it!"</p> - -<p>"Oh, the implications!" they said as they copied it off, and the -implications rang in their heads like bells of the future.</p> - -<p>Now it had suddenly become very late, and the elated little man with -the gold and gemmed trophy under one arm and the packet of bank notes -in his pocket disappeared as by magic.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Professor Aloys Foulcault-Oeg was not seen again; or, if seen, he was -not known, for hardly anyone would have known his face. In fact, when -he had painfully released the bonds by which he had been tied in the -little room behind the cloak room, and removed the shackles from his -ankles, he did not pause at all, but slipped into his greatcoat and ran -out into the night. Not for many blocks did he even remove the gag from -his mouth, not realizing in his confusion what it was that obstructed -his speech and breathing. But when he got it out, it was a pleasant -relief.</p> - -<p>A kind gentleman took him in hand, the second to do so that night. He -was bundled into a kind of taxi and driven to a mysterious quarter -called Wreckville. And deep inside a secret building he was given a -bath and a bowl of hot soup. And later he gathered with others at a -festive board.</p> - -<p>Here Willy McGilly was king. As he worked his way into his cups with -the gold trophy in front of him, he expounded and elucidated.</p> - -<p>"I was wonderful. I held them in the palm of my hand. Was I not -wonderful, Oeg?"</p> - -<p>"I could not hear all, for I was on the floor of the little room. But -from what I could hear, yes, you were wonderful."</p> - -<p>"Only once in my life did I give a better speech. It was the same -speech, but it was newer then. This was in Little Dogie, New Mexico, -and I was selling a snake-oil derivative whose secret I still cannot -reveal. But I was good tonight and some of them cried. And now what -will you do, Oeg? Do you know what we are?"</p> - -<p>"<i>Moshennekov.</i>"</p> - -<p>"Why, so we are."</p> - -<p>"<i>Schwindlern.</i>"</p> - -<p>"The very word."</p> - -<p>"Low-life con men. And the world you live on is not the one you were -born on. I will join you if I may."</p> - -<p>"Oeg, you have a talent for going to the core of the apple."</p> - -<p>For when a man (however unlikely a man) shows real talent, then the -Wreckville bunch has to recruit him. They cannot have uncontrolled -talent running loose in the commonalty of mankind.</p> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Aloys, by R. A. 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A. Lafferty - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Aloys - -Author: R. A. Lafferty - -Release Date: March 29, 2016 [EBook #51596] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ALOYS *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - ALOYS - - BY R. A. LAFFERTY - - Illustrated by WALKER - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Galaxy Magazine August 1961. - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - - - - He appeared in glory and sank without - a trace. Why? How? For the first time - anywhere, here is the startling inside story. - - -He had flared up more brightly than anyone in memory. And then he was -gone. Yet there was ironic laughter where he had been; and his ghost -still walked. That was the oddest thing: to encounter his ghost. - -It was like coming suddenly on Haley's Comet drinking beer at the -Plugged Nickel Bar, and having it deny that it was a celestial -phenomenon at all, that it had ever been beyond the sun. For he could -have been the man of the century, and now it was not even known if he -was alive. And if he were alive, it would be very odd if he would be -hanging around places like the Plugged Nickel Bar. - -This all begins with the award. But before that it begins with the man. - -Professor Aloys Foulcault-Oeg was acutely embarrassed and in a state of -dread. - -"These I have to speak to, all these great men. Is even glory worth -the price when it must be paid in such coin?" - -Aloys did not have the amenities, the polish, the tact. A child of -penury, he had all his life eaten bread that was part sawdust, and worn -shoes that were part cardboard. He had an overcoat that had been his -father's, and before that his grandfather's. - -This coat was no longer handsome, its holes being stuffed and quilted -with ancient rags. It was long past its years of greatness, and even -when Aloys had inherited it as a young man it was in the afternoon of -its life. And yet it was worth more than anything else he owned in the -world. - -Professor Aloys had become great in spite of--or because of?--his -poverty. He had worked out his finest theory, a series of nineteen -interlocked equations of cosmic shapeliness and simplicity. He had -worked it out on a great piece of butchers' paper soaked with lamb's -blood, and had so given it to the world. - -And once it was given, it was almost as though nothing else could be -added on any subject whatsoever. Any further detailing would be only -footnotes to it and all the sciences no more than commentaries. - -Naturally this made him famous. But the beauty of it was that it -made him famous, not to the commonalty of mankind (this would have -been a burden to his sensitively tuned soul), but to a small and -scattered class of extremely erudite men (about a score of them in the -world). Their recognition brought him almost, if not quite, complete -satisfaction. - -But he was not famous in his own street or his own quarter of town. And -it was in this stark conglomerate of dark-souled alleys and roofs that -Professor Aloys had lived all his life till just thirty-seven days ago. - -When he received the announcement, award, and invitation, he quickly -calculated the time. It was not very long to allow travel halfway -around the world. Being locked out of his rooms, as he often was, he -was unencumbered by baggage or furniture, and he left for the ceremony -at once. - -With the announcement, award, and invitation, there had also been a -check; but as he was not overly familiar with the world of finance or -with the English language in which it was written, he did not recognize -it for what it was. Having used the back of it to write down a formula -that had crept into his mind, he shoved the check, forgotten, into one -of the pockets of his greatcoat. - - * * * * * - -For three days he rode a river boat to the port city, hidden and -hungry. There he concealed himself on an ocean tramp. That he did not -starve on this was due to the caprice of the low-lifers who discovered -him, for they made him stay hidden in a terrible bunker and every day -or two they passed in a bucket to him. - -Then, several ports and many days later, he left the ship like a -crippled, dirty animal. And it was in That City and on That Day. For -the award was to be that evening. - -"These I have to speak to, all these wonderful men who are higher than -the grocers, higher than the butchers even. These men get more respect -than a policeman, than a canal boat captain. They are wiser than a -mayor and more honored than a merchant. They know arts more intricate -than a clock-maker's and are virtuous beyond the politicians. More -perspicacious than editors, more talented than actors, these are the -great men of the world. And I am only Aloys, and now I am too ragged -and dirty even to be Aloys any more. I no longer am a man with a name." - -For he was very humble as he walked the great town where even the shop -girls were dressed like princesses, and all the restaurants were so -fine that only the rich people would have dared to go in them at all. -Had there been poor people (and there were none) there would have been -no place for them to eat. - -"But it is to me they have given the prize. Not to Schellendore and not -to Ottlebaum, not to Francks nor Timiryaseff, not even to Pitirim-Koss, -the latchet of whose shoe I am not--but why do I say that?--he was not, -after all, very bright--all of them are inadequate in some way--the -only one who was ever able to get to the heart of these great things -was Aloys Foulcault-Oeg, who happens to be myself. It is a strange -thing that they should honor me, and yet I believe they could not have -made a better choice." - -So pride and fear warred in him, but it was always the pride that lost. -For he had only a little bit of pride, undernourished and on quaking -ground, and against it was a whole legion of fears, apprehensions, -shames, dreads, embarrassments, and nightmarish bashfulnesses. - -He begged a little bit when he had found a poor part of town. But even -here the people were of the rich poor, not the poor as he had known -them. - -When he had money in his pocket, he had a meal. Then he went to Jiffy -Quick While You Wait Cleaners Open Day and Night to have his clothes -cleaned. He wrapped himself in dignity and a blanket while he waited. -And as the daylight was coming to an end, they brought his clothes back -to him. - -"We have done all we could do. If we had a week or a month, we might do -a little more, but not much." - - * * * * * - -Then he went out into the town, cleaner than he had been in many -years, and he walked to the hall of the Commendation and Award. Here -he watched all the great men arrive in private cars and taxis: Ergodic -Eimer, August Angstrom, Vladimir Vor. He watched them and thought of -what he would say to them, and then he realized that he had forgotten -his English. - -"I remember dog, that is the first word I ever learned, but what will I -say to them about a dog? I remember house and horse and apple and fish. -Oh, now I remember the entire language. But what if I forget it again? -Would it not be an odd speech if I could only say apple and fish and -house and dog? I would be shamed." - -He wished he were rich and could dress in white like the street -sweepers, or in black leather like the newsboy on the corner. He saw -Edward Edelstein and Christopher Cronin enter and he cowered on the -street and knew that he would never be able to talk to those great men. - -A fine gentleman came out and walked directly to him. - -"You are the great Professor Foulcault-Oeg? I would have known you -anywhere. True greatness shines from you. Our city is honored tonight. -Come inside and we will go to a little room apart, for I see that -you will have to compose yourself first. I am Graf-Doktor Hercule -Bienville-Stravroguine." - -Whyever he said he was the Graf-Doktor is a mystery, because he was -Willy McGilly and the other was just a name that he made up that minute. - -Within, they went to a small room behind the cloak room. But here, in -spite of the smooth kindness of the gracious gentleman, Aloys knew -that he would never be able to compose himself. He was an epouvantail, -a pugalo, a clown, a ragamuffin. He looked at the nineteen-point -outline of the address he was to give. He shuddered and he gobbled -like a turkey. He sniffled and he wiped his nose on his sleeve. He was -terrified that the climax of his life's work should find him too craven -to accept it. And he discovered that he had forgotten his English -again. - -"I remember bread and butter, but I don't know which one goes on top. -I know pencil and pen-knife and bed, but I have entirely forgotten the -word for maternal uncle. I remember plow, but what in the world will I -say to all these great men about a plow? I pray that this cup may pass -from me." - -Then he disintegrated in one abject mass of terror. Several minutes -went by. - - * * * * * - -But when he emerged from the room he was a different man entirely. -Erect, alive, intense, queerly handsome, and now in formal attire, he -mounted with the sure grace of a panther to the speaker's platform. -Once only he glanced at the nineteen-point outline of his address. -As there is no point in keeping it a secret, it was as follows: 1. -Cepheid and Cerium--How Long Is a Yardstick? 2. Double Trouble--Is -Ours a Binary Universe? 3. Cerebrum and Cortex--the Mathematics of -Melancholia. 4. Microphysics and Megacyclic Polyneums. 5. _Ego, No, -Hemeis_--the Personality of the Subconscious. 6. Linear Convexity -and Lateral Intransigence. 7. Betelgeuse Betrayed--the Myth of -Magnitude. 8. Mu-Meson, the Secret of Metamorphosis. 9. Theogony and -Tremor--the Mathematics of Seismology. 10. Planck's Constant and -Agnesi's Variable. 11. Dien-cephalon and Di-Gamma--Unconscionable -Thoughts about Consciousness. 12. Inverse Squares and the Quintesimal -Radicals. 13. The Chain of Error in the Lineal B Translation. 14. -Skepticism--the Humor of the Humorless. 15. Ogive and Volute--Thoughts -on Celestial Curviture. 16. Conic Sections--Small Pieces of Infinity. -17. Eschatology--Medium Thoughts about the End. 18. Hypo-polarity and -Cosmic Hysteresis. 19. The Invisible Quadratic, or This is All Simpler -than You Think. - -You will immediately see the beauty of this skeleton, and yet to flesh -it would not be the work of an ordinary man. - -He glanced over it with the sure smile of complete confidence. Then he -spoke softly to the master of ceremonies in a whisper with a rumble -that could be heard throughout the hall. - -"I am here. I will begin. There is no need for any further -introduction." - -For the next three and a half hours he held that intelligent audience -completely spellbound, enchanted. They followed, or seemed to follow, -his lightning flashes of metaphor illumining the craggy chasms of his -vasty subjects. - -They thrilled to the magnetic power of his voice, urbane yet untamed, -with its polyglot phrasing and its bare touch of accent so strange as -to be baffling; ancient, surely, and yet from a land beyond the Pale. -And they quivered with interior pleasure at the glorious unfolding in -climax after climax of these before only half-glimpsed vistas. - -Here was a world of mystery revealed in all its wildness, and it obeyed -and stood still, and he named its name. The nebula and the conch lay -down together, and the ultra-galaxies equated themselves with the zeta -mesons. Like a rich householder, he brought from his store treasures -old and new, and nothing like them had ever been seen or heard before. - - * * * * * - -At one point Professor Timiryaseff cried out in bafflement and -incomprehension, and Doctor Ergodic Eimer buried his face in his hands, -for even these most erudite men could not glimpse all the shattering -profundity revealed by the fantastic speaker. - -And when it was over they were limp and delighted that so much had been -made known to them. They had the crown without the cross, and the odd -little genius had filled them with a rich glow. - -The rest was perfunctory, commendations and testimonials from all -the great men. The trophy, heavy and rich but not flashy, worth the -lifetime salary of a professor of mathematics, was accepted almost -carelessly. And then the cup was passed quietly, which is to say the -tall cool glasses went around as the men still lingered and talked with -hushed pleasure. - -"Gin," said the astonishing orator. "It is the drink of bums and -impoverished scholars, and I am both. Yes, anything at all with it." - -Then he spoke to Maecenas, who was at his side, the patron who was -footing the bill for all this gracious extravagance. - -"The check I have never cashed, having been much in movement since I -have received it. And as to me it is a large amount, though perhaps not -to others, and as you yourself have signed it, I wonder if you could -cash it for me now." - -"At once," said Maecenas, "at once. Ten minutes and we shall have the -sum here. Ah, you have endorsed it with a formula! Who but Professor -Aloys Foulcault-Oeg could be so droll? Look, he has endorsed it with a -formula!" - -"Look, look! Let us copy! Why, this is marvelous! It takes us even -beyond his great speech of tonight. The implications of it!" - -"Oh, the implications!" they said as they copied it off, and the -implications rang in their heads like bells of the future. - -Now it had suddenly become very late, and the elated little man with -the gold and gemmed trophy under one arm and the packet of bank notes -in his pocket disappeared as by magic. - - * * * * * - -Professor Aloys Foulcault-Oeg was not seen again; or, if seen, he was -not known, for hardly anyone would have known his face. In fact, when -he had painfully released the bonds by which he had been tied in the -little room behind the cloak room, and removed the shackles from his -ankles, he did not pause at all, but slipped into his greatcoat and ran -out into the night. Not for many blocks did he even remove the gag from -his mouth, not realizing in his confusion what it was that obstructed -his speech and breathing. But when he got it out, it was a pleasant -relief. - -A kind gentleman took him in hand, the second to do so that night. He -was bundled into a kind of taxi and driven to a mysterious quarter -called Wreckville. And deep inside a secret building he was given a -bath and a bowl of hot soup. And later he gathered with others at a -festive board. - -Here Willy McGilly was king. As he worked his way into his cups with -the gold trophy in front of him, he expounded and elucidated. - -"I was wonderful. I held them in the palm of my hand. Was I not -wonderful, Oeg?" - -"I could not hear all, for I was on the floor of the little room. But -from what I could hear, yes, you were wonderful." - -"Only once in my life did I give a better speech. It was the same -speech, but it was newer then. This was in Little Dogie, New Mexico, -and I was selling a snake-oil derivative whose secret I still cannot -reveal. But I was good tonight and some of them cried. And now what -will you do, Oeg? Do you know what we are?" - -"_Moshennekov._" - -"Why, so we are." - -"_Schwindlern._" - -"The very word." - -"Low-life con men. And the world you live on is not the one you were -born on. I will join you if I may." - -"Oeg, you have a talent for going to the core of the apple." - -For when a man (however unlikely a man) shows real talent, then the -Wreckville bunch has to recruit him. They cannot have uncontrolled -talent running loose in the commonalty of mankind. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Aloys, by R. A. 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