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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #51617 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/51617)
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Sorceress; v. 1 of 3, by Margaret Oliphant
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: The Sorceress; v. 1 of 3
-
-Author: Margaret Oliphant
-
-Release Date: April 1, 2016 [EBook #51617]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SORCERESS; V. 1 OF 3 ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed
-Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
-produced from images available at The Internet Archive)
-
-
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-
-
-
-
-
-
- THE SORCERESS.
-
-
-
-
- THE SORCERESS.
-
- A Novel.
-
- BY
-
- MRS. OLIPHANT,
-
- AUTHOR OF
- “THE CHRONICLES OF CARLINGFORD,”
- “THE CUCKOO IN THE NEST,”
- ETC., ETC.
-
- _IN THREE VOLUMES._
-
- VOL. I.
-
- LONDON:
- F. V. WHITE & Co.,
- 31, SOUTHAMPTON STREET, STRAND, W.C.
- 1893.
-
- (_ALL RIGHTS RESERVED_)
-
-
- PRINTED BY
- TILLOTSON AND SON, BOLTON,
- LONDON, NEW YORK, AND BERLIN.
-
-
-
-
-THE SORCERESS.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I.
-
-
-It was the most exciting event which had ever occurred in the family,
-and everything was affected by it.
-
-Imagine to yourselves such a young family, all in the very heyday of
-life, parents and children alike. It is true that Mrs. Kingsward was
-something of an invalid, but nobody believed that her illness was
-anything very serious, only a reason why she should be taken abroad, to
-one place after another, to the great enjoyment of the girls, who were
-never so happy as when they were travelling and gaining, as they said,
-experience of life. She was not yet forty, while Charlie was twenty-one
-and Bee nineteen, so that virtually they were all of the same age, so to
-speak, and enjoyed everything together--mamma by no means put aside into
-the ranks of the dowagers, but going everywhere and doing everything
-just like the rest, and as much admired as anyone.
-
-To be sure she had not been able to walk about so much this time, and
-had not danced once, except a single turn with Charlie, which brought on
-a palpitation, so that she declared with a laugh that her dancing days
-were over. Her dancing days over! Considering how fond she had always
-been of dancing, the three young people laughed over this, and did not
-take the least alarm. Mamma had always been the ringleader in
-everything, even in the romps with the little ones at home. For you must
-not think that these three were all of the family by any means.
-
-Bee and Betty were the eldest of I can’t at this moment tell how many,
-who were safe in the big nursery at Kingswarden under the charge (very
-partial) of papa, and the strict and steady rule of nurse, who was a
-personage of high authority in the house. Papa had but lately left “the
-elder ones,” as he called them, including his pretty wife--and had gone
-back to his work, which was that of an official at the Horse Guards, in
-some military department of which I don’t even know the name, for I
-doubt whether the Intelligence Department, which satisfies all the
-necessities of description, had been invented in those days.
-
-Colonel Kingsward was a distinguished officer, and the occasion of great
-_éclat_ to the little group when he showed himself at their head,
-drawing round him a sort of cloud of foreign officers wherever he went,
-which Bee and Betty appreciated largely, and to which Mrs. Kingsward
-herself did not object; for they all liked the clank of spurs, as was
-natural, and the endless ranks of partners, attendants in the gardens,
-and general escort and retinue thus provided. It was not, however, among
-these officers, red, blue, green, and white--of all the colours in the
-rainbow--that Bee had found her fate. For I need scarcely say it was a
-proposal which had turned everything upside down and filled the little
-party with excitement.
-
-A proposal! The first in the family! Mamma’s head was as much turned by
-it as Bee’s. She lay on the sofa in her white dressing gown, so flushed
-with happiness and amusement and excitement, that you would have
-supposed it was she who was to be the bride.
-
-And then it was so satisfactory a thing all round. If ever Mrs.
-Kingsward had held anyone at arm’s length in her life it was a certain
-captain of Dragoons who had clanked about everywhere after her daughters
-and herself for three weeks past. The moment they had appeared anywhere,
-even at the springs, where she went to drink her morning glass of
-disagreeable warm water, at the concert in the afternoon, in “the rooms”
-at night, not to speak of every picnic and riding party, this tall
-figure would jump up like a jack-in-a-box. And there was no doubt that
-the girls were rather pleased than otherwise to see him jump up. He was
-six foot two at least, with a moustache nearly a yard long, curling in a
-tawny and powerful twist over his upper lip. He had half-a-dozen medals
-on his breast; his uniform was a compound of white and silver, with a
-helmet that literally blazed in the sun, and his spurs clanked louder
-than any other spurs in the gardens. The only thing that was wanting to
-him was a very little thing--a thing that an uninstructed English person
-might not have thought of at all--but which was a painful thing in his
-own troubled consciousness, and in that of the regiment, and even was
-doubtful to the English friends who had picked up, as was natural, all
-the prejudices of the class into which their own position brought them.
-
-Poor Captain Kreutzner, I blush to say it, had no “Von” to his name.
-Nobody could deny that he was a distinguished officer, the hope of the
-army in his branch of the service; but when Mrs. Kingsward thought how
-the Colonel would look if he heard his daughter announced as Madame
-Kreutzner _tout court_ in a London drawing-room, her heart sank within
-her, and a cold perspiration came out upon her forehead. “And I don’t
-believe Bee would care,” she cried, turning to her son for sympathy.
-
-Charlie was so well brought up a young man that he cared very much, and
-gave his mother all the weight of his support. His office it was to
-beguile Captain Kreutzner as to the movements of the party, to keep off
-that bold dragoon as much as was possible; when, lo! all their
-precautions were rendered unnecessary by the arrival of the real man
-from quite another quarter, at once, and in a moment cutting the Captain
-out!
-
-There was one thing Mrs. Kingsward could never be sufficiently thankful
-for in the light of after events, and that was, that it was Colonel
-Kingsward himself who introduced Mr. Aubrey Leigh to the family. He was
-a young man who was travelling for the good of his health, or rather for
-the good of his mind, poor fellow, as might be seen at a glance. He was
-still in deep mourning when he presented himself at the hotel, and his
-countenance was as serious as his hatband. Nevertheless, he had not been
-long among them before Bee taught him how to smile, even to laugh,
-though at first with many hesitations and rapid resuming of a still
-deeper tinge of gravity, as if asking pardon of some beloved object for
-whom he would not permit even himself to suppose that he had ceased to
-mourn. This way he had of falling into sudden gravity continued with him
-even when it was evident that every decorum required from him that he
-should cease to mourn. Perhaps it was one of the things that most
-attracted Bee, who had a touch of the sentimental in her character, as
-all young ladies had in those days, when Mrs. Hemans and L. E. L. were
-the favourite poets whom young ladies were expected to read. Well
-brought up girls were not permitted, I need not say, to read Byron.
-Shelley was a name of fear, and the poems of Mr. Thomas Campbell, not to
-say Mr. Thomas Moore (carefully selected) were likely to promote that
-quality.
-
-The pale young man, with his black coat, his hatband, his look of
-melancholy, drove out the image of the Captain at once from Bee’s mind.
-She had perhaps had enough of captains, fine uniforms, spurs, and all.
-They had become what modern levity calls a drug in the market. They made
-_Fenster_ parade all day long under her windows; they thronged upon her
-steps in the gardens; they tore the flounces from her tarlatan into
-pieces at the balls. It was something far more original to sit out in
-the moonlight and look at the moon with a sorrowful young hero, who
-gradually woke up into life under her hand. Poor, poor boy!--so young
-and so melancholy!--who had gone through so much!--who was really so
-handsome when the veil of grief began to blow away!--who had such a
-pretty name!
-
-Bee was only nineteen. She had mocked and charmed and laughed at a whole
-generation of young officers, thinking of nothing but picnics and dinner
-parties and balls. She wanted something new upon which to try her little
-hand--and now it was thrown, just when she felt the need, in her way.
-She had turned a young fool’s head several times, so that the operation
-had lost its charm. But to bring a sad man back to life, to drive away
-sorrow, to teach him to hold up his head again, to learn how sweet it
-was to live and smile, and ride and run about this beautiful world, and
-wake every day to a new pleasure--that was something she felt worthy of
-a woman’s powers. And she did it with such effect that Mr. Aubrey Leigh
-went on improving for three weeks more, and finally ended up with that
-proposal which was to the Kingsward family in general the most amusing,
-the most exciting, the most delightful incident in the world.
-
-And yet, of course, it was attended with a certain amount of anxiety
-which in her--temporarily--invalid state was not very good for mamma.
-Everybody insisted on all occasions that it was a most temporary state,
-and that by the end of the summer she would be all right--the
-palpitations quite calmed down, the flush--which made her so pretty--a
-little subdued, and herself as strong as ever. But in the meantime this
-delightful romantic incident, which certainly acted upon her like a
-glass of champagne, raising her spirits, brought her some care as well.
-Her first interview was of course with Bee, and took place in the
-privacy of her chamber, where she cross-examined her daughter as much as
-was compatible with the relations between them--- which indeed were
-rather those of companions and comrades than of mother and daughter.
-
-“Now, Bee, my dear child,” she said, “remember you have always been a
-little rover, and Mr. Leigh is so quiet. Do you think you really,
-really, can devote yourself to him, and never think of another man all
-your life?”
-
-“Mamma,” said Bee, “if you were not such a dear I should think you were
-very insulting. Another man! Why, where should I find another man in the
-world that was fit to tie Aubrey’s shoe?”
-
-“Well,” said Mrs. Kingsward, dubiously; but she added, after a moment,
-“You know, darling, that’s not quite the question. If you did find in
-the after ages a man that perhaps was--fit to tie Mr. Leigh’s shoe?”
-
-“Why in all this world, _petite mère_, will you go on calling him Mr.
-Leigh?”
-
-“Well, well,” said Mrs. Kingsward; “but I don’t feel,” she said again,
-after a moment’s hesitation, “that I ought to go so far as to call him
-Aubrey until we have heard from papa.”
-
-“What could papa find to object to?” said Bee. “Why, it was he who
-introduced him to us! We should not have known Aubrey, and I should
-never have been the happiest girl in the world, if it had not been for
-papa. Dear papa! I know what he’ll say: ‘I can’t understand, my dear,
-why you should hesitate for a moment. Of course, you don’t suppose I
-should have introduced Mr. Leigh to my family without first
-ascertaining, &c., &c.’ That, of course, is what papa will say.”
-
-“I dare say you are right, Bee. It is quite what I expect, for, of
-course, a man with girls knows what it is, though for my part I confess
-I always thought it would be a soldier--Captain Kreutzner or Otto
-von----”
-
-“Mamma!” cried Bee, almost violently, light flashing out of the blue
-eyes, which were so bright even on ordinary occasions as to dazzle the
-beholder--you may imagine what fire came out of them now--“as if I
-should ever have looked twice at one of those big, brainless, clinking
-and clanking Germans. (N.B.--Mr. Aubrey Leigh was not tall.) No! Though
-I may like foreigners well enough because it’s amusing to talk their
-language and to feel that one has such an advantage in knowing German
-and all that--yet, when it comes to be a question of spending one’s
-life, an Englishman for me!”
-
-Thus, it will be seen, Bee forestalled the patriotic sentiments of a
-later generation by resolving, in spite of all temptations, to belong to
-other nations--to select an Englishman for her partner in life. It is
-doubtful, however, how far this virtuous resolution had existed in her
-mind before the advent of Aubrey Leigh.
-
-“I am sure I am very glad, Bee,” said her mother, “for I always had a
-dread that you would be snatched off somewhere to--Styria or Dalecarlia,
-or heaven knows where--(these were the first out-of-the-way names that
-came to Mrs. Kingsward’s mind; but I don’t know that they were
-altogether without reference or possibilities), where one would have had
-no chance of seeing you more than once in two or three years. I am very
-thankful it is to be an Englishman--or at least I shall be,” she added,
-with a sigh of suspense, “as soon as I have heard from papa----”
-
-“One would think, _Mütterchen_, that you were frightened for papa.”
-
-“I shouldn’t like you ever to try and go against him, Bee!”
-
-“Oh, no,” said Bee, lightly, “of course I shouldn’t think of going
-against him--is the inquisition over?--for I promised,” she said, with a
-laugh and a blush, “to walk down with Aubrey as far as the river. He
-likes that so much better than those noisy blazing gardens, with no
-shade except under those stuffy trees--and so do I.”
-
-“Do you really, Bee? I thought you thought it was so nice sitting under
-the trees----”
-
-“With all the _gnadige_ Fraus knitting, and all the _wohlgeborne_ Herrs
-smoking. No, indeed, I always hated it!” said Bee.
-
-She jumped up from where she had been sitting on a stool by her mother’s
-sofa, and took her hat, which she had thrown down on the table. It was a
-broad, flexible, Leghorn hat, bought in Florence, with a broad blue
-ribbon--the colour of her eyes, as had often been said--floating in two
-long streamers behind. She had a sash of the same colour round the
-simple waist of her white frock. That is how girls were dressed in the
-early days of Victoria. These were the days of simplicity, and people
-liked it, seeing it was the fashion, as much as they liked crinolines
-and chignons when such ornamental arrangements “came in.” It does not
-become one period to boast itself over another, for fashion will still
-be lord--or lady--of all.
-
-Mrs. Kingsward looked with real pleasure at her pretty daughter,
-thinking how well she looked. She wore very nearly the same costume
-herself, and she knew that it also looked very well on her. Bee’s eyes
-were shining, blazing with brightness and happiness and love and fun and
-youth. She was not a creature of perfect features, or matchless beauty,
-as all the heroines were in the novels of her day, and she was conscious
-of a great many shortcomings from that high standard. She was not tall
-enough--which, perhaps, however, in view of the defective stature of Mr.
-Aubrey Leigh was not so great a disadvantage--and she was neither fair
-enough nor dark enough for a Minna or a Brenda, the definite and
-distinct blonde and brunette, which were the ideal of the time; and she
-was not at all aware that her irregularity, and her mingling of styles,
-and her possession of no style in particular, were her great charms. She
-was not a great beauty, but she was a very pretty girl with the
-additional attraction of those blue diamonds of eyes, the sparkle of
-which, when my young lady was angry or when she was excited in any more
-pleasurable way, was a sight to see.
-
-“All that’s very well, my dear,” said Mrs. Kingsward, “but you’ve never
-answered my question: and I hope you’ll make quite, quite sure before
-it’s all settled that you do like Aubrey Leigh above everybody in the
-world.”
-
-“_A la bonne heure_,” said Bee; “you have called him Aubrey at last,
-without waiting to know what papa will say:” with which words she gave
-her mother a flying kiss, and was gone in a moment, thinking very
-little, it must be allowed, of what papa might say.
-
-Mrs. Kingsward lay still for a little, and thought it all over after Bee
-was gone. She knew a little better than the others what her Colonel was,
-and that there were occasions on which he was not so easy to deal with
-as all the young ones supposed. She thought it all over from the moment
-that young Mr. Leigh had appeared on the scene. What a comfort it was
-to think that it was the Colonel himself who had introduced him! Of
-course, as Bee said, before presenting anyone to his wife and family,
-Colonel Kingsward would have ascertained, &c., &c. It was just how he
-would write no doubt. Still, a man may introduce another to his wife and
-family without being ready at once to accept him as a son-in-law. On the
-other hand, Colonel Kingsward knew well enough what is the possible
-penalty of such introductions. Young as Bee was, she had already
-attracted a good deal of attention, though this was the first time it
-had actually come to an offer. But Edward must surely have thought of
-that. She was, though it seemed so absurd, and though Bee had laughed at
-it, a little afraid of her husband. He had never had any occasion to be
-stern, yet he had it in him to be stern; and he would not hesitate to
-quench Bee’s young romance if he thought it right. And, on the other
-hand, Bee, though she was such a little thing, such a child, so full of
-fun and nonsense, had a spirit which would not yield as her mother’s
-did. Mrs. Kingsward drew another long fluttering sigh before she got up
-reluctantly in obedience to her maid, who came in with that other white
-gown, not unlike Bee’s, over her arm, to dress her mistress. She would
-have liked to lie still a little longer, to have finished the book she
-was reading, to have thought over the situation--anything, indeed, to
-justify her in keeping still upon the couch and being lazy, as she
-called it. Poor little mother! She had not been lazy, nor had the chance
-of being lazy much in her life. She had not begun to guess why it was
-she liked it so much now.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II.
-
-
-I have now to explain how it was that Mr. Aubrey Leigh was so
-interesting and so melancholy, and thus awoke the friendship and
-compassion, and secured the ministrations of the Kingsward family. He
-was in deep mourning, for though he was only eight-and-twenty he was
-already a widower, and bereaved beside of his only child. Poor young
-man! He had married with every appearance of happiness and prosperity,
-but his wife had died at the end of the first year, leaving him with a
-baby on his inexperienced hands. He was a young man full of feeling,
-and, contrary to the advice of all his friends, he had shut himself up
-in his house in the country and dedicated himself to his child.
-Dedicated himself to a baby two months old!
-
-There was nobody who did not condemn this unnecessary self-sacrifice. He
-should have gone away; he should have left the child in the hands of its
-excellent nurse, under the supervision of that charming person who had
-been such a devoted nurse to dear Mrs. Leigh, and whom the desolate
-young widower had not the courage to send away from his house. Her
-presence there was a double reason, people said, why he should have gone
-away. For though his sorrow and trouble was so great that nobody for a
-moment supposed that he had any idea of such a thing, yet the presence
-of a lady, and of a lady still called by courtesy a young lady, though
-older than himself, and who could not be treated like a servant in his
-house, was embarrassing and not very seemly, everybody said. Suggestions
-were made to her that she should go away, but then she answered that she
-had nowhere to go to, and that she had promised to dear Amy never to
-forsake her child. The country ladies about who took an interest in the
-young man thought it was “just like” dear Amy, who had always been a
-rather silly young woman, to exact such a promise, but that Miss Lance
-would be quite justified in not keeping it, seeing the child had plenty
-of people to look after her--her grandmother within reach and her father
-dedicating himself to her.
-
-Miss Lance, however, did not see her duty in the same way; indeed, after
-the poor little child died--and there was no doubt she had been
-invaluable during its illness, and devoted herself to it as she had done
-to its mother--she stayed on still at Leigh Court, though now at last
-poor Aubrey was persuaded to go away. The mind of the county was
-relieved beyond description when at last he departed on his travels.
-These good people did not at all want to get up any scandal in their
-midst. They did not very much blame Miss Lance for declining to give up
-a comfortable home. They only felt it was dreadfully awkward and that
-something should be done about it, though nobody knew what to do. He had
-left home nearly six months before he appeared at the Baths with that
-letter to Mrs. Kingsward in his pocket, and the change and the travel
-had done him good.
-
-A young man of twenty-eight cannot go mourning all the days of his life
-for a baby of eight months old, and he had already begun to “get over”
-the death of his wife before the second event occurred. This troublous
-beginning of his life had left him very sad, with something of the
-feeling of a victim, far more badly treated than most in the beginning
-of his career. But this is not like real grief, which holds a man’s
-heart with a grip of steel. And he was in the stage when a man is ready
-to be consoled when Bee’s blue eyes first flashed upon him. The
-Kingswards had received him in these circumstances with more _abandon_
-than they would have done in any other. He was so melancholy; his
-confidences, when he began to make them, were so touching; his waking up
-to interest and happiness so delightful to see. And thus, before anyone
-had thoroughly realized it, the deed was done. They knew nothing about
-Miss Lance--as how should they?--and what could she have had to do with
-it if they had known?
-
-So there really was nothing but that doubt of Colonel Kingsward’s
-approval to alloy the pleasure of the party, and it was only Mrs.
-Kingsward who thought of it. Charlie pooh-poohed the idea altogether. “I
-think I should know my father better than anyone,” the young man said,
-with much scorn of his mother’s hesitation. He was very fond and very
-proud of his mother, but felt that as a man himself, he probably
-understood papa better than the ladies could. “Of course he will
-approve; why shouldn’t he approve? Leigh is a very decent fellow, though
-I don’t think all the world of him, as you girls do. Papa, of course,
-knew exactly what sort of a fellow he was; a little too quiet--not Bee’s
-sort at all. No, you may clamour as you like, but he’s not in the least
-Bee’s sort----”
-
-“I’m supposed to prefer a noisy trooper, I believe,” said Bee.
-
-“Well, I should have said that was more like it--but mind you, the
-governor would never have sent us out a man here who was not good enough
-for anything. Oh, I understand the old boy!”
-
-“Charlie, how dare you?” cried his mother; but the horror was modified
-by a laugh, for anything more unlike an old boy than Colonel Kingsward
-it would not have been very easy to conceive.
-
-“Well, mamma, you wouldn’t have me call him my honoured father, would
-you?” the young man said. He was at Oxford, and he thought himself on
-the whole not only by far the most solid and serious member of the
-present party, but on the whole rather more experienced in the world
-than the gentleman whom in the bosom of the family he still condescended
-to call “papa.”
-
-As for little Betty, who up to this time had been Bee’s shadow, and who
-had not yet begun to feel herself _de trop_, she, no more than her
-sister, was moved by any of these cares. She was wholly occupied in
-studying the new thing which had suddenly started into being before her
-eyes. Betty was of opinion that it was entirely got up for her amusement
-and instruction. When she and Bee were alone, she never ceased in her
-interrogatory. “Oh, Bee, when did you first begin to think about him
-like that? Oh, Bee, how did you first find out that he was thinking
-about you? Oh, Bee, don’t you mind that he was once in love before?”
-Such were the questions that poured in an incessant stream into Bee’s
-ears. That young lady was equal to them all, and she was not unwilling
-to let her sister share more or less in the new enlightenment that had
-come to herself.
-
-“When did I first begin to think of him?” she said. “Oh, Betty, the
-first minute I saw him coming through the garden with Charlie to speak
-to mamma! There were all those horrid men about, you remember, in those
-gaudy uniforms, and their swords and spurs, and so forth--such dreadful
-bad taste in foreigners always to be in uniform----”
-
-“But, Bee,” cried Betty, “why, I’ve heard you say----”
-
-“Oh, never mind what you’ve heard me say! I’ve been silly, I suppose, in
-my day, like almost everybody. Aubrey says he cannot think how they can
-live, always done up in those hot, stiff clothes--none of the ease of
-Englishmen about them.”
-
-“Papa says they are such soldier-like men,” says little Betty, who had
-not been converted from the _regime_ of the officers, like Bee.
-
-“Oh, well, papa--he is an officer himself, but he never wears his
-uniform when he can help it, you know.”
-
-“Well,” said Betty, “you may say what you like--for my part, I do love a
-nice uniform. I don’t want ever again to dance with a man in a black
-coat. But Bee, you’re too bad--you won’t say a word, and I want so to
-know how it all came about. What put it into your head? And what did you
-say to one another? And was it he that began first--or was it you?”
-
-“You little dreadful thing,” said Bee; “how could a girl ever begin? It
-shows how little you know! Of course he began; but we didn’t begin at
-all,” she said, after a pause, “it just came--all in a moment when I
-wasn’t thinking, and neither was he.”
-
-“Do you mean to say that he didn’t intend to propose to you?” said
-Betty, growing pale.
-
-“Oh!” said Bee, impatient, “as if proposing was all! Do you think he
-just came out with it point blank--‘Miss Kingsward, will you marry me?’”
-
-“Well,” said Betty: “what did he say then if he didn’t say that?”
-
-“Oh, you little goose!” said Bee.
-
-“I am sure if he had said ‘Oh, you little goose’ to me,” said Betty, “I
-should never have spoken a word to him again.”
-
-“It is no use talking to little girls,” said Bee, with a sigh. “You
-don’t understand; and, to be sure, how could you understand--at your age
-and all?”
-
-“Age!” said Betty, indignant, “there is but fifteen months between us,
-and I’ve always done everything with you. We’ve always had on new things
-together, and gone to the same places and everything. It is you that are
-very unkind now you have got engaged; and I do believe you like this big
-horrid man better than me.”
-
-“Oh, you little goose!” said Bee, again.
-
-“No, it isn’t a big but a little, horrid man. I made a mistake,” said
-Betty, “not like Captain Kreutzner that you used to like so much. It’s
-small people you care for now; not your own nice people like me and
-mamma, but a man that you had never heard the name of when you
-first came here, and now you quote and praise him, and make the
-most ridiculous fuss about him, even to Charlie, who is far
-nicer-looking!--and won’t even tell your sister what he says!”
-
-This argument came to so high a tone that mamma called out from her room
-to know what was amiss. “It does not become you girls to carry on your
-old scuffles and quarrels,” she said, “now that one of you, at least, is
-so grown up and about to take upon herself the responsibilities of
-life.”
-
-“Is Aubrey a responsibility?” Betty whispered in her sister’s ears.
-
-“Oh, you little silly thing!” Bee replied; and presently Mrs.
-Kingsward’s maid came in to say that Mr. Leigh was in the sitting-room,
-and would Miss Bee go to him as her mistress was not ready; for this was
-the little fiction that was kept up in those days before Colonel
-Kingsward’s letter had been received. It will be seen, however, that it
-was but a fiction, and that as a matter of fact there was very little
-restraint put on the young people’s intercourse. “You must not consider
-that anything is settled; you must not think there’s any engagement,”
-Mrs. Kingsward had said. “Indeed, indeed, I cannot take upon me to
-sanction anything till I hear from her papa.” But virtually they met as
-much as they liked, and even indulged in little talks apart, and
-meetings by themselves, before Mrs. Kingsward was ready; so that as a
-matter of fact this restriction did very little harm.
-
-And in due time Colonel Kingsward’s letter was received, and it was not
-unfavourable. The Colonel said that, on the whole, he should have
-preferred it had Mr. Leigh waited till they had all returned home. It
-would have been a seemly forbearance, and saved Mrs. Kingsward a great
-deal of anxiety; but as matters stood and as his dear wife approved, and
-he heard nothing but good of Mr. Leigh, he would not withdraw the
-provisional consent which she seemed to have given. “It will be
-expedient in the circumstances that you should all return home as soon
-as possible, that I may go into matters with the young man,” the Colonel
-added in that part of his letter which was not intended to be read to
-Aubrey Leigh. And he added, as Bee had prophesied, “You might have been
-sure that I should not introduce a young man to my family, and to
-yourself, my dear, without ascertaining previously,” etc., etc., just as
-Bee had said. He added, “Of course I never contemplated anything of this
-sort: but one can never tell what may happen when young people are
-thrown together. The property is a good one, and the young man
-unexceptionable, from all I can hear.” Then Mrs. Kingsward’s mind was
-set at ease. It seemed to Bee that her father might have said something
-on the subject of her happiness, and acknowledged Aubrey to be something
-more than an unexceptionable young man. It was inconceivable, she
-thought to herself, how cool people are when they come to that age. The
-property good, and the young man unexceptionable--was that all? Did papa
-take no more interest than that? But at all events the engagement was
-now quite permitted and acknowledged, and they might walk out together
-all day, and dance together all night, without a word said; for which
-Bee forgave and instantly forgot--it was really of so little
-importance--the coolness of papa.
-
-Mrs. Kingsward’s “cure” was over, and by this time most people were
-leaving the Bath. Our party made their preparations for leaving too, in
-the pleasantest way. It was not to be at all a rapid journey, which
-would not have been good for Mrs. Kingsward. They were to make their way
-at leisure from one beautiful old city to another across the breadth of
-Germany, staying a day here and a day there, travelling for the most
-part in a large, old-fashioned carriage, such as was the custom then,
-with a wide-hooded seat in front, like the _banquette_ of a French
-diligence, in which two people could be extremely happy, seeing the
-scenery much better than those inside could do, or perhaps not seeing
-the scenery at all, but occupying each other quite as agreeably with the
-endless talk of lovers, which is not interesting to anybody but
-themselves. Before they set out upon this journey, however, which was to
-hold so great a place in Bee’s life, a little incident occurred to her
-which did not appear to be of very much consequence, but which made some
-impression on her mind at the time, and vaguely appeared afterwards to
-throw light on various other events. The German Bath at which the
-little story of her love took place is surrounded with woods--woods of a
-kind that are never seen anywhere else, though they are the special
-feature of German Baths. They are chiefly composed of fir trees, and
-they are arranged upon the most strictly mathematical principles, with
-that precision which is dear to the German mind, row upon row standing
-close together, as if they had been stuck in so at their present height,
-with so many cubit feet of air to each, as in the London lodging-houses.
-They are traversed by broad roads, with benches at intervals, and at
-each corner there is a wooden board on which is painted indications how
-to find the nearest _restauration_ where beer is to be had, and the veal
-of the country--for the German, in his hours of ease and amusement, has
-continual occasion to be “restored.”
-
-Bee had gone out early in the morning to make a little sketch of an
-opening in the trees through which a village spire was visible. There
-were not many points for the artist in landscape, especially one of such
-moderate powers as Bee, and she was very anxious to finish this to
-present it, I need scarcely say, to Aubrey, as a memento of the place.
-Probably there was some other sentimental reason--such as that they had
-first spoken words of special meaning there, or had first exchanged
-looks that were of importance in their idyll, or some other incident of
-equal weight. She was seated on one of the benches, with her little
-colour box and bottle of water, giving the finishing touches to her
-sketch. Sooth to say, Bee was no great performer, and the ranks of the
-dark trees standing arithmetically apart to permit of that little
-glimpse of distance, were too much for her. They looked in her sketch
-like two dark green precipices rather than like trees, and had come to a
-very difficult point, when a lady coming along by one of the side walks,
-round the corner past the _restauration_, suddenly sat down by Bee’s
-side and startled her a little. She was not a girl who was easily
-frightened, but the suddenness of the apparition out of the silent
-morning when she had thought nobody was in sight was a little startling
-and made her hand shake.
-
-“I hope I am not intruding upon you,” the lady said.
-
-“Oh, no!” said Bee, looking up with her bright face. She was as fresh as
-the morning in her broad Leghorn hat with the blue ribbon, and her eyes
-that danced and sparkled. The stranger by her side was much older than
-Bee. She was a handsome woman; dark, with fine eyes, too, a sidelong
-look in them, and a curious half smile which was like La Gioconda, that
-famous picture Bee had seen in the Louvre, as we all have. She thought
-of La Gioconda at once, when she looked up into the lady’s face. She was
-entirely dressed in black, and there could not have been found anywhere
-a more perfect contrast to Bee.
-
-They got into conversation quite easily, for Bee was a girl who loved to
-talk. The lady gave her several hints about her little picture which Bee
-knew enough to know were dictated by superior knowledge, and then they
-got talking quite naturally about the place and the people who were
-there. After they had discussed the society and the number of English
-people at the Bath, and Bee had disclosed the hotel at which she was
-staying, and many details of her innocent life, which she was not at all
-conscious of disclosing--the stranger began to inquire about various
-people. It was not by any means at once that she introduced the name of
-Leigh; not indeed till she had been over the Reynoldses, and the
-Gainsboroughs, and the Collinses, under Bee’s exultant guidance and fine
-power of narrative; then she said tentatively, that there was she
-believed, at one of the hotels, a family of Leighs.
-
-“Oh!” cried Bee, her countenance flushing over with a sudden brilliant
-delightful blush, which seemed to envelop her from top to toe. She had
-been looking up into her companion’s face so that the stranger got the
-full benefit of this sudden resplendent change of colour. She then
-turned very demurely to her sketch, and said meekly, “I don’t know any
-family, but there is a Mr. Leigh at our hotel.”
-
-“Oh,” said the lady, but in a very different tone from Bee’s startled
-“oh!” She said it coldly, as if recording a fact. “I thought,” she said,
-“it was the Leighs of Hurstleigh, friends of mine. I may have been
-deceived by seeing the name in the lists.”
-
-“But I think, indeed I am sure, that Mr. Aubrey Leigh is connected with
-the Leighs of Hurstleigh,” Bee said.
-
-“Oh, a young man, a widower, an inconsolable; I think I remember hearing
-of him. Is that the man?”
-
-“I don’t know if he is an inconsolable,” cried Bee, with a quick
-movement of anger and then she thought how foolish that was, for of
-course a stranger like this could have no unkind meaning. She added with
-great gravity, “It is quite true that he has been married before.”
-
-Poor little Bee, she was not at all aware how she was betraying herself.
-She was more vexed and indignant than words can say, when the woman (who
-after all could not be a lady) burst into a laugh. “Oh! I think I can
-see how matters stand with Aubrey Leigh,” this impertinent intruder
-cried.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III.
-
-
-It was just two days after the interview in the wood described above,
-that the Kingsward party got under weigh for home, accompanied, I need
-not say, by Aubrey Leigh. Bee had not told him of that chance meeting,
-restrained I do not know by what indefinite feeling that he would not
-care to hear of it, and also by the sensation that she had as good as
-told the lady, who was so disagreeable and impertinent as to laugh, what
-change had taken place in Aubrey’s sentiments, and what she had herself
-to do with that change. It was so silly, oh, so silly of her, and yet
-she had said nothing, or next to nothing. And there was no reason why
-she should not have said whatever she pleased, now that the engagement
-was fully acknowledged and known; indeed, if that woman were in any
-society at all, she must have heard of it, seeing that, as Bee was
-aware, not without pleasure, it had afforded a very agreeable diversion
-to the floating community, a pleasant episode in the tittle-tattle of
-the gardens and the wells. Bee had no absurd objection to being talked
-of. She knew that in her condition of life, which was so entirely
-satisfactory as a condition, everything that concerned a family was
-talked over and universally known. It was a thing inevitable to a
-certain position, and a due homage of society to its members. But
-somehow she did not mention it to Aubrey, nor, indeed, to anyone, which
-was a very unusual amount of reticence. She did not even give him the
-sketch, though it was finished. She had been quite grateful for that
-person’s hints at the time, and eagerly had taken advantage of them to
-improve her drawing; but it seemed to her, when she looked at it now,
-that it was not her own at all, that the other hand was so visible in it
-that it would be almost dishonest to call it hers. This, of course, was
-wholly fantastic, for even supposing that person to have given valuable
-hints, she had never touched the sketch, and Bee alone had carried them
-out. But, anyhow, her heart sickened at it, and she thrust it away at
-the very bottom of the box that Moulsey was packing. She had no desire
-to see the horrid thing again.
-
-In a day or two, however, Bee had altogether forgotten that interview in
-the wood. She had so many things to occupy her mind. There were few
-railways in those days, and the party had a long way to travel before
-they came to Cologne, where that method of travelling began. They all
-felt that common life would re-commence there and their delightful
-wandering would be over. In the meantime, there was a long interval of
-pleasure before them. The early breakfast at the hotel in the first
-hours of the autumnal morning, the fun of packing everyone away in the
-big coach, the books to be brought out to fill up corners, both of time
-and space, and “Murray” then alone in his glory, with no competitive
-American, no Badæker, no Joanne, to share his reign--spread out open at
-the right place, so that mamma inside should be able to lay her finger
-at once upon any village or castle that struck her--and above all the
-contrivances to be carried out for securing the _banquette_, as Bee
-said, for “ourselves,” made a lively beginning. Charlie and Betty
-sometimes managed to secure this favourite place if the attention of the
-others flagged for a moment, and though mamma generally interposed with
-a nod or a whisper to restore it to the privileged pair, sometimes she
-was mischievous too, and consented to their deprivation, and desired
-them for once to keep her company inside. She generally, however,
-repented of this before the day was over, and begged that their
-favourite seat might be restored to them.
-
-“For they are really no fun at all,” the poor lady said. “I might as
-well have two images from Madame Tussaud’s.”
-
-“It had been a little hard upon Aubrey at the moment of their departure
-to find half the garrison round the carriage, and bouquets enough to
-fill a separate vehicle thrust into every corner, the homage of those
-warriors to the gracious ladies. He had been very cross, and had made a
-great exhibition of himself, especially when Captain Kreutzner’s faggot
-of forget-me-nots, tied with a ribbon like that on Bee’s hat, had been
-presented with indescribable looks. What did the fellow mean by bringing
-forget-me-nots? He wanted to pitch it out of the window as soon as they
-were fairly started.
-
-“What an idiotic custom!” he cried. “What do the fools think you want
-with such loads of flowers when you are starting on a journey?”
-
-“Why, it is just then you do want them,” cried Betty, who had a dozen or
-so to her own share, “to smell sweet and show us how much our friends
-think of us.”
-
-“They will not smell sweet very long, and then what will your friends
-think of you?” said the angry lover.
-
-Was it possible that Bee was detaching a little knot of the blue flowers
-to put in her waistband? Bee, Bee! his own property, who had no right so
-much as to look at another man’s flowers! And what did she do, seeing
-the cloud upon his face, but arrange another little bouquet, which,
-with her sweetest smile--the little coquette--she endeavoured to put
-into his, Aubrey’s, button-hole! He snatched them out of her hand in a
-sort of fury. “Do you want me never to forget that heavy brute of a
-German?” he cried, in his indignation. “You may put him near your heart,
-but I should like to kick him!” These very natural sentiments made Bee
-laugh--which was cruel: but then poor Captain Kreutzner had been blotted
-out of her life some time ago, and knew his fate, and had really no
-right whatever to present her with these particular flowers. His lovely
-bouquet with its blue ribbon was given to a girl in the first village,
-and awakened the still more furious jealousy of another swain who was
-less easily appeased than Aubrey; but this _ricochet_ was not thought of
-by the first and principal pair.
-
-There was not perhaps so many remarkable features in that journey as if
-it had been through Italy. There were great plains to traverse, where
-the chief sights were cottages and farmhouses, women going by with great
-loads of freshly cut grass full of flowers on their heads, fodder for
-the home-dwelling cows--or men carrying their hops clinging to the
-pole, to be picked at home, or long straggling branches of the tobacco
-plant; and in the evening the postillion would whip up his horses, and
-Charlie in the _banquette_, or John, the manservant, in the rumble,
-would tootle upon a horn which the former had acquired clandestinely
-before the party set out--as they dashed through a village or little
-town with lighted windows, affording them many a flying peep of the
-domestic life of those tranquil places. And in the middle of the day
-they stopped to rest somewhere, where the invariable veal was to be
-found at some Guest-house a little better than the ordinary, where
-perhaps a bigger village stood with all its high peaked stream: and at
-night rattled into an old walled town with shadowy high houses which
-belonged to the fourteenth century, and had not changed a whit since
-that time. There they stayed a day or two, varying the confinement of
-the coach by a course through everything that was to be seen, setting
-out in a party through the roughly-paved streets, but parting company
-before long, so that Aubrey and Bee would find themselves alone in the
-shelter of a church or in an insignificant corner by the walls, while
-the others pursued their sightseeing conscientiously.
-
-“As for me, what I like is the general aspect,” said Bee, with an air of
-superiority. “I don’t care to poke into every corner, and Aubrey knows
-the history, which is the chief thing.”
-
-“Are they talking all the time of the history?” said Betty, overawed.
-
-But this perhaps, was not the opinion of Charlie and mamma. No, they did
-not care very much for the history. People are bad travellers in that
-stage of life. They are too much interested in their own history. They
-went about like a pair of Philistines through all these ancient streets,
-talking of nothing but the things of to-day. The most serious part of
-their talk was about the home in the depths of England in which they
-were henceforth to spend their lives. Aubrey had ideas about
-re-furnishing--about making everything new. It would be impossible to
-tell the reader how bad was the taste of the time, and with what
-terrible articles of furniture he proposed to replace the spindle legs
-and marquetry of his grandfathers. But then these things were the
-fashion, and supposed to be the best things of the time. To hear them
-talking of sofas and curtains, and of the colour for the boudoir and the
-hangings of the drawing-room in the midst of all those graceful old
-places, was inconceivable. You would have said the stupidest,
-unimpressionable pair, talking of ugly modern English furniture, when
-they should have been noting the old world of Nuremberg--the unchanging
-mediæval city. But you must remember that the furniture was only a
-symbol of their love and their new life, and all the blessedness of
-being together, and the endless delights of every day. The sofas and the
-curtains meant the _Vita Nuova_, and the refurnishing of the old house a
-beautiful fabric of all the honour and the joy of life.
-
-Then came the great river, and the progress down its shining stream, and
-between those beautiful banks, where again they made several pauses to
-enjoy the scenery. The Rhine is not now the river it was then. It was
-still the great river of romance in those days--Byron had been there,
-and the young people remembered Roland and his tower, with his love in
-the white convent opposite, and felt a shudder at the thought of the
-Lorelei as they floated under the high and gloomy bank. I doubt,
-however, whether the lovers thought much even of these things. They were
-busy just now about the gardens, which Bee was fully minded to remodel
-and fill with everything that was new and delightful in the way of
-flowers.
-
-“I shall have masses of colour about the terrace, and every spot
-covered. I wonder which you like best, majolica vases or rustic
-baskets?” Bee was saying, when her mother called her to point out the
-Platz and Bishop Hatto’s tower.
-
-“Oh, yes, mamma, it’s very pretty. But you like clematis, Aubrey, for
-the balustrade--to wind in and out of the pillars. Yes, yes, I can see
-it well enough. I like every kind of clematis, even the common one, the
-traveller’s joy--and it would hang down, you know, over that old bit of
-wall you told me of. Do go forward, Aubrey, and let them see you are
-taking an interest. I do see it all quite well, and it is very romantic,
-and we are quite enjoying it I can assure you, mamma.”
-
-This was how they made their way down stream; in the moonlight nights
-they ceased to talk of practical matters, and went back to the history
-of their loves.
-
-“Do you remember, Bee, that first time in the wood----?”
-
-“Oh, Aubrey, don’t you recollect that drive coming back in the
-dark--before I knew----?”
-
-“But you always did know from the very beginning, Bee?”
-
-“Well, perhaps I suspected--and used to think----”
-
-“You darling, what did you think?--and did you really care--as early as
-that?”
-
-They went on like this whatever happened outside, giving a careless
-glance at the heights, at the towers, at the robbers’ castle above and
-the little villages below; not so much as looking at them, and yet
-remembering them ever after, enclosing the flow of their young lives, as
-it were, in that strong flowing of the Rhine, noting nothing and yet
-seeing everything with the double sight which people possess at the
-highest moment and crisis of their career. They came at length to
-Cologne, where this enchanted voyage was more or less to end. To be
-sure, they were still to be together; but only in the railway, with all
-the others round them, hearing more or less what they said. They said
-good-bye to the Rhine with a little sentiment, a delightful little
-sadness full of pleasure.
-
-“Shall we ever be so happy again?” said Bee, with a sigh.
-
-“Oh, yes, my sweet, a hundred times, and happier, and happier,” said the
-young man; and thus they were assured it was to be.
-
-I don’t think any of them ever forgot that arrival at Cologne. They came
-into sight of the town just in the evening, when the last glow of sunset
-was still burning upon the great river, but lights beginning to show in
-the windows, and glimmering reflected in the water. The Cathedral was
-not completed then, and a crane, like some strange weird animal stood
-out against the sky upon the top of the tower. The hotel to which they
-were going had a covered terrace upon the river with lights gleaming
-through the green leaves. They decided they would have their table
-there, and dine with all that darkling panorama before their eyes
-through the veil of the foliage, the glowing water, the boats moving and
-passing, with now and then a raft coming down from the upper stream, and
-the bridge of boats opening to give passage to a fuming fretting
-steamboat. Aubrey and Bee went hand in hand up the steps; nobody noticed
-in the half dark how close they were together. They parted with a close
-pressure of warm hands.
-
-“Don’t be long, darling,” he said, as they parted, only for a moment,
-only to prepare a little for the evening, to slip into a fresh dress, to
-take out a new ribbon, to make one’s youthful self as fair as such
-unnecessary adjuncts permitted.
-
-But what did Aubrey care for a new ribbon? The only blue he thought of
-was that in Bee’s eyes.
-
-I do not think she was more than ten minutes over these little changes.
-She dressed like a flash of lightning, Betty said, who could not find
-her own things half so quickly, Moulsey being occupied with mamma. Such
-a short moment not worth counting, and yet enough, more than enough, to
-change a whole life!
-
-Bee ran down as light as air to the sitting-room which had been engaged
-for the party. She felt sure that Aubrey would hurry, too, so as to have
-a word before dinner, before the rest were ready--as if the whole day
-had not been one long word, running through everything. She came lightly
-to the door of the room in her fresh frock and her blue ribbons, walking
-on air, knowing no shadow of any obstacle before her or cloud upon the
-joyful triumphant sky. She did not even hear the sound of the subdued
-voices, her faint little sob, strangest of all sounds at such a moment,
-which seemed to come out to meet her as she opened the door. Bee opened
-it wondering only if Aubrey were there, thinking of some jibe to address
-to him about the length of time men took to their toilettes, if she
-happened to be ready first.
-
-She was very much startled by what she saw. Her mother, still in her
-travelling dress, sat by the table with a letter open in her hands. She
-had not made any preparation for dinner--she, usually so dainty, so
-anxious to get rid of the cloaks and of the soils of the journey. She
-had taken off her hat, which lay on the table, but was still enveloped
-in the shawl which she had put on to keep off the evening chills. As for
-Aubrey, he was exactly as he had been when they parted with him, except
-that all the light had gone out of his face. He was very pale, and he,
-too, had a letter in his hand. He uttered a stifled exclamation when he
-saw Bee at the door, and, lifting his arms as though in protest against
-something intolerable, walked away to the other end of the room.
-
-“Oh, Bee,” said Mrs. Kingsward, “Oh, go away, my dear, go away! I
-mean--get something to eat, you and Charlie, and Betty, and then get to
-bed. Get to bed! I am too tired to take anything, and I am going
-upstairs at once.”
-
-“I thought you had been upstairs, mamma, half-an-hour ago. What is the
-matter? You look like a ghost, and so does Aubrey. Has anything
-happened? Mamma, you won’t look at me, and Aubrey turns his back. What
-have I done? Is it anything about me?”
-
-“What nonsense, child!” said Mrs. Kingsward, with a pretence at a smile.
-“What could you have to do with it? We have both--Mr. Leigh and
-myself--found letters, and we are busy reading them. I am sure the
-dinner must be served. We ordered it in the balcony, don’t you remember?
-Run away and make Charlie and Betty sit down at once. I am too tired.
-Moulsey will run down in a little and get something for me.”
-
-“Mamma,” said Bee, “you cannot make up a story. Something has happened,
-I am sure of it; and it is something about me.”
-
-“Nonsense, child! Go away and have your dinner. I would come if I could.
-Don’t you see what a budget of letters I have got? And some of them I
-must answer to-night.”
-
-“Have you letters, too, Aubrey?” said Bee, in her amazement, standing
-still as she had paused, arrested by the sight of them, just within the
-door.
-
-“Bee, I must beg you will not put any questions; go and do what I tell
-you; your brother and sister will be coming downstairs. Yes, of course,
-you can see that Mr. Leigh has his letters to read as well as I.”
-
-“Mr. Leigh! I wonder if we have all gone mad, or what is the matter?
-Aubrey! tell me--you, at least, if mamma won’t. You must have had a
-quarrel. Mamma, why do you call him Mr. Leigh?”
-
-“Oh, for goodness sake, Bee, go away.”
-
-“I am not going away,” cried the girl. “You have had a quarrel about
-something. Come, mamma, you must not quarrel with Aubrey--if he has done
-something wrong or said something silly, I will answer for him, he never
-intended it. Aubrey, what do you mean, sir, turning your back both on
-mamma and me? Come here, quick, and ask her pardon, and say you will
-never do it again.”
-
-Poor little Bee’s heart was fluttering, but she would not allow herself
-to believe there was anything really wrong. She went close up to her
-mother and stood by her, with a hand upon her shoulder. “Aubrey!” she
-said, “never mind if you are wrong or not, come and beg mamma’s pardon,
-and she will forgive you. There must not--there must not--oh, it is too
-ridiculous!--be anything wrong between mamma and you. Aubrey!”
-
-He turned round slowly and faced them both with a face so pale that Bee
-stopped short with a gasp, and could not say a word more. Mrs. Kingsward
-had buried her face in her hands. Bee looked from one to the other with
-a dismay which she could not explain to herself. “Oh, what is the
-matter? What is the matter?” she said.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV.
-
-
-There was no merry dinner that night in the verandah of the hotel under
-the clinging wreaths of green. Mrs. Kingsward went up to her room still
-with her heavy shawl about her shoulders which she had forgotten, though
-it added something to her discomfort--followed by Bee, pale and rigid,
-offering no help, following her mother like an angry shadow. Charlie and
-Betty met them on the stairs and stood aside in consternation, unable to
-conceive what had happened. Mrs. Kingsward gave them a sort of troubled
-smile and said: “Get your dinner, dears; don’t wait for us. I am too
-tired to come down to-night.”
-
-“But, mamma----” they both began in remonstrance.
-
-“Go down and get your dinner,” said Mrs. Kingsward, peremptorily.
-
-As for Bee, she did not look at them at all. Her eyes were fierce with
-some sentiment which Betty could not divine, and angry, blazing, as if
-they might have set light to the hotel.
-
-Little Betty pressed against Charlie’s side as they went down, startled
-and alarmed. “Bee has had a quarrel with mamma,” she whispered, in tones
-of awe.
-
-“That’s impossible,” said Charlie.
-
-“Oh, no, it’s not impossible. There was once----”
-
-It comforted them both a little in the awful circumstances that such a
-thing had perhaps happened before. They went very silently and much cast
-down to that table in the verandah, whither obsequious waiters beckoned
-them, and contemplated with dismay all the plates laid, all the glitter
-of the lamps and the glasses.
-
-“I suppose we must not wait for them as they said so,” said Charlie,
-sitting down in his place at the bottom of the table. “Tell Mr.
-Leigh--that is the other gentleman--that we are ready.”
-
-“The other gentleman, sir,” said the waiter, who was the pride of the
-establishment for his English, “has gone out.”
-
-“Gone out!” said Charlie. He could only stare at Betty and she at him,
-not knowing what to think.
-
-“He has had his letters, too, sir,” said the waiter in a significant
-tone.
-
-His letters! What could that have to do with it? Charlie also had had
-his letters, one of them a bill which he did not view with any
-satisfaction; but even at twenty-one a man already learns to disguise
-his feelings, and sits down to dinner cheerfully though he has received
-a bill by the post. Charlie’s mind at first could not perceive any
-connection between Bee’s withdrawal upstairs and Aubrey’s disappearance.
-It was Betty who suggested, sitting down very close to him, that it
-looked as if Aubrey and Bee had quarrelled too.
-
-“Perhaps that is what it is,” she said, as if she had found out a
-satisfactory reason. “Lovers always quarrel; and mamma will have taken
-Aubrey’s part, and Bee will be so angry, and feel as if she could never
-forgive him. There, that is what it must be.”
-
-“A man may quarrel with his sweetheart,” said Charlie, severely, “but he
-needn’t spoil other people’s dinner for that;” however, they comforted
-themselves that this was the most likely explanation, and that all would
-come right in the morning. And they were very young and hungry, having
-eaten nothing since the veal at one o’clock. And these two made on the
-whole a very satisfactory meal.
-
-The scene upstairs was very different. Mrs. Kingsward sent Moulsey away
-on pretence of getting her some tea, and then turned to her daughter who
-stood by the dressing-table and stared blankly, without seeing anything,
-into those mysterious depths of the glass which are so suggestive to
-people in trouble. She said, faintly, “Bee, I would so much rather you
-would not ask me any more questions to-night.”
-
-“That is,” said Bee, “you would like to send me away to be miserable by
-myself without even knowing what it is, while you will take your
-sleeping draught and forget it. How can you be so selfish, mamma? And
-you have made my Aubrey join in the conspiracy against me--my Aubrey
-who belongs to me as papa does to you. If you are against us it is all
-very well, though I can’t imagine why you should be against us--but at
-least you need not interfere between Aubrey and me.”
-
-“Oh, my dear child, my poor darling!” said Mrs. Kingsward, wringing her
-hands.
-
-“It is all very well to call me your poor child, when it is you that are
-making me poor,” said Bee.
-
-She kept moving a little, first on one foot then on the other, but
-always gazing into the glass which presented the image of an excited
-girl, very pale, but lit up with a sort of blaze of indignation, and
-unable to keep still. It was not that girl’s face, however, that Bee was
-gazing at, but at the dim world of space beyond in which there were
-faint far-away reflections of the light and the world. “And if you think
-you will get rid of me like this, and hang me up till to-morrow without
-knowing what it is, you are mistaken, mamma. I will not leave you until
-you have told me. What is it? What has papa got in his head? What does
-he say in that horrid--horrid letter? I wish I had known when I gave it
-to you I should have thrown it into the river instead of ever letting it
-come into your hands.”
-
-“Bee, you must know that this passion is very wrong and very improper.
-You ought not to face me like that, and demand an answer. I am your
-mother,” said Mrs. Kingsward, but with a falter which was all unlike
-that assumption of authority, “and I have no need to tell you anything
-more than I think is for your good.”
-
-“Ah! I know where that comes from,” cried Bee; “that’s papa’s thunder!
-that’s what he has told you to say! You don’t believe, yourself, that
-you have a right to hang up a poor girl over some dreadful, dreadful
-abyss, when she was so happy and never suspected anything.” Here Bee’s
-voice faltered for a moment, but she quickly recovered herself. “And to
-drag her away from the one person that could support her, and to cut the
-ground from under her feet, and never to tell her what it means!”
-
-It was at this point that Moulsey, with a little discreet cough to
-herald her approach, came into the room, bearing a tray with tea, and a
-little cover from which came a faint but agreeable odour. Mrs. Kingsward
-was in great trouble about her child, but she was much exhausted and in
-want of physical support, and it did seem to her hard that she might not
-be permitted to eat the smallest of cutlets before embarking on a scene
-such as she knew this would be. Oh, why didn’t papa come and say it
-himself, when there was so much that was dreadful to say?
-
-“Shall I fetch something for Miss Bee, too?” said Moulsey. “It ain’t a
-good thing for a young creature to go without her dinner. If she’s not
-going down, ma’am, as would be much the best, I’ll just run and fetch a
-little something for Miss Bee too.”
-
-“Indeed, indeed, Bee, Moulsey is right. Think how miserable the others
-will feel all alone, and thinking something has happened. Do go down,
-darling, and strengthen yourself with a little food, and take a glass of
-wine just for once to please me. And after that you shall be told
-everything--all that I know.”
-
-Bee grew paler and paler, standing there before the glass, and her eyes
-blazed more and more. “It is as bad as that, then!” she said under her
-breath to herself, and then went away from where she was standing to the
-further end of the room. “I shall wait here, mamma, till you have had
-your tea. I know you want it. Oh, go away Moulsey! Let me alone! No, you
-shall not bring me anything! or, if you do, I will throw it out of the
-window,” she said, stamping her foot. The dark end of the room seemed
-suddenly lighted up by a sort of aurora borealis, with the fire of poor
-Bee’s burning eyes and the flashes here and there of her white
-frock--oh, poor white frock! put on in the sunshine of life and
-happiness to please her love, and now turned into a sort of sacrificial
-robe.
-
-“Take it away, Moulsey; I can’t eat anything--I can’t, indeed--no more
-than Miss Bee--”
-
-“But you must, ma’am,” said Moulsey. “Miss Bee’s young; she’s had
-nothing to drain away her strength. But it’s far different with you,
-after all your family and so weak as you are. If Miss Bee were a real
-good girl, as I always thought her, she’d go away and get something
-herself just for her poor mamma’s sake, and leave you alone for a moment
-to get a little peace and rest.”
-
-“There is no rest for me,” murmured the poor lady. “Oh, papa, papa, why
-didn’t you come and tell them yourself?”
-
-These piteous tones went to Bee’s heart. They moved her half with
-contempt, half with compassion--with something of that high indignant
-toleration of weakness which is one kind of pity. If mamma could eat and
-drink at such a moment, why shouldn’t she be left to do it? The girl
-started up and left the room in the quick flashing impulse of her
-passion. She walked up and down in the corridor outside, her arms folded
-over her high-beating, tumultuous heart. Yes, no doubt she was going to
-be miserable, all her happiness was cut down and withered away, but in
-her present passionate impulse of resistance and gathering of all her
-forces to resist the catastrophe, which she did not understand, it could
-scarcely be said that she was wretched yet. What was it--what was it?
-she was saying to herself. It might still be something that would pass
-away, which would be overcome by the determined, impassioned stand
-against it, which Bee felt that it was in her to make. The thing that
-was worst of all, that stole away her courage, was that Aubrey had
-failed her. He should have been there by her side whatever happened. He
-ought not to have abandoned her. No doubt he thought it was more
-delicate, more honourable, more something or other; and that it was his
-duty to leave her to brave it alone. It must have been one of those
-high-flown notions of honour that men have. Honour! to leave a girl to
-fight for herself and him, alone--but, no doubt, that was what had
-seemed right in his eyes. Bee walked up and down in the half-lighted
-passage, sometimes almost pushing against someone going up or down,
-waiters or chambermaids or surprised guests, who looked after her when
-she had passed; but she did not take any notice of them, and she heard
-as she passed her mother’s door little sounds of tea-cups and dishes,
-and Moulsey’s voice saying “A little more,” and her mother’s faint
-replies. Poor mamma! After all, what ever it was, it could not be her
-affair as it was Bee’s. She would be unhappy about it, but not all
-unhappy. She had the others, who were all right. She had papa. It would
-not shatter her to pieces even if one of the children was to be
-shipwrecked. It was the shipwrecked one only who would be broken to
-pieces. For the first time in her life Bee felt the poignant sensation,
-the jealous pride, the high, desolate satisfaction of suffering. The
-others could all eat and do the ordinary things. She was elevated over
-all that, silent as on a Peak in Darien. She felt almost a kind of
-dreadful pleasure in the situation, smiling to herself at the sounds of
-her mother’s little meal. She could dine while Bee was miserable. They
-could all dine--Charlie (which was natural), Betty, even Aubrey. She had
-no doubt that he, too, must be seated, feeling as a man does that dinner
-must go on whatever happens, at the table downstairs.
-
-After a while, which seemed a long time to Bee, Moulsey came out with
-the tray. She was startled, and exclaimed under her breath at the
-appearance of the girl walking up and down in the corridor: “I did
-think you would have had the sense to go and join the others, Miss
-Bee.” Bee was too much uplifted, too distant on her high pinnacle of
-martyrdom, to make any reply, but when Moulsey ventured to add a word of
-advice, to the effect that she must be careful of her mamma and not
-weary her with questions and she so tired and so weak, the girl flashed
-forth all her heart of indignation. “She has eaten her cutlet, it
-appears,” cried Bee. “I should think she may answer my questions.”
-
-“Oh!” cried the maid, who had the privileges of an old servant, “you
-have got a heart without pity. You are just like your papa!”
-
-Bee swept past her into the room, where poor Mrs. Kingsward, who after
-all had eaten but a morsel, sat lying back in an easy chair awaiting the
-dreadful conflict which she knew was coming. Poor lady, she had lost all
-her brightness, that pretty grace of the young mother among her grown up
-children, which prompted so many compliments. She lay back in her easy
-chair, feeling as she said “any age”--as old as any woman on the edge of
-the grave, not knowing how she was to bear the onslaught that was
-coming, and how she was to say what had to be said. He had borne it far
-better than Bee--poor Aubrey, poor Aubrey! whom she must not call Aubrey
-any more. He had not denied anything, he had fallen as it were at her
-feet, like a house that had been undermined and had no sound
-foundations, but Bee was different. Bee was a tower that had
-foundations--a girl that was able to stand up even to papa, and why--why
-had he not come to give forth his sentence in his own way?
-
-Bee came forward flashing into the light, in that white frock which
-shone, and with those eyes that blazed through all the neutral tints in
-the room. She did not sit down, which would have been a little relief,
-but seized a chair and stood with her hand upon the back, leaning upon
-it.
-
-“I hope, mamma,” she said, pitiless, “that you liked your tea, and ate
-something--and that you are better now.”
-
-“Oh, Bee!” cried the poor lady; if there is one reproach more dreadful
-than another it is this of being able to eat when you ought to be
-overwhelmed with trouble.” Mrs. Kingsward could scarcely keep from
-crying at the imputation. And Bee, I fear, knew that it was the
-unkindest thing that could be said.
-
-“Now, mamma,” she resumed, almost stonily, “it is time that you should
-tell me what has happened. We arrived here all quite happy--it is just
-an hour ago----” here Bee’s voice shook a little, but she commanded it
-with an effort--“I ran up to dress for dinner, and when I came back in
-about ten minutes I found you and Aubrey--with your letters--looking as
-if you had both been dead and buried while I was away. You wouldn’t
-answer me, and he never said a word. You had done something to him in
-that little time to make him turn away from me, and yet you will not
-tell me what it is. Here I am alone,” said Bee, once more with a quiver
-in her voice. “Aubrey ought to be standing by me. I suppose he is having
-his dinner downstairs, too, and thinking no more of me. I just stand
-alone, nobody caring in all the world. What is the meaning of it,
-mamma?”
-
-“Bee, you are very hard upon me. And poor Aubrey, he is having no
-dinner--of that I am sure.”
-
-“You called him Mr. Leigh downstairs.”
-
-“So I did, and so I must, and all of us; but I cannot have you speaking
-of him like that, poor, poor fellow; and just for this once---- Oh, Bee,
-my darling, don’t stand and look at me so! I would rather have died than
-say it either to him or to you. Your papa has been hearing I don’t know
-what, and he has changed his mind about Mr. Leigh altogether, and says
-it must not be.”
-
-“What must not be?”
-
-“Oh, Bee! Oh, don’t take it so hard! Don’t look like that!
-Your--your--engagement, my darling. Have patience; oh, have patience! He
-has heard something. Men hear things that we would never hear. And he
-doesn’t deny it. Oh! he doesn’t deny it. I had a hope that he would
-contradict it at once, and flare up in a rage like you, and say it
-wasn’t true. But he doesn’t deny it--poor boy, poor boy! And after that,
-how can I say one word to papa?”
-
-“My engagement?” said Bee, in a hoarse voice. She had been staring at
-her mother as in a dream--only partially hearing, not understanding at
-all the rest that was said. “My engagement? He gave his consent. It was
-all settled. You would not allow us till the letter came, but then it
-was consent.”
-
-“Yes, yes, dear. That was at first. He consented at first because--and
-now it appears he has heard something--someone has called upon him--he
-has discovered--and he writes to me that it must be broken off. Oh, Bee,
-don’t think my heart doesn’t bleed for you. I think it will kill me. He
-says it must be broken off at once.”
-
-“Who says so?” said Bee, in her passion. “He! One would think you were
-speaking of God--that can say ‘Yes’ to-day and ‘No’ to-morrow, and build
-things up and then snatch them down. But I will not have it! I am not a
-doll, to be put in one position and then in another, as anybody pleases.
-My engagement! It is mine; it is not his.”
-
-“Bee, think; it is papa you are speaking of. Dear, I feel for you--I
-feel for you! but so does he. Oh, my darling, you don’t know what you
-are saying. Do you think he would do anything to make you unhappy if he
-could help it--your papa, Bee, who has been so good to you all your
-life?”
-
-“I do not care how good he has been. He is not good now. How will it
-harm him? He sits at home, and he thinks he can do as he pleases. But
-not with me. It is my affair more than it is his. He thinks he can break
-his word and it doesn’t matter--but I have given my word, and it does
-matter. Break my engagement!” cried Bee, her young bosom swelling, the
-sob rising in her throat that would soon choke her voice. “It is mine
-and not his; and nobody in the world shall break it. You can tell him
-so, mamma, or I will write myself and tell him so. I am not a wax image
-to take any shape he pleases. Who is he? He is not God----”
-
-“Bee--he is your father----”
-
-“Oh, my father! Yes, I do whatever he tells me. If he says I am to fetch
-anything I run like a little dog. I have never been disobedient. But
-this--this is different. I am not a child any longer. And, mamma, not
-for him nor for anyone--not even for you will I take back my word.”
-
-“Bee! You make me say a great deal more than I meant to say. I thought
-you would have been a good child and seen that papa must know best. My
-poor, poor little girl, there is worse behind. Mr. Leigh, whom we all
-thought so much of----”
-
-“Aubrey,” Bee managed to say, though for no other word could she command
-her voice.
-
-“Darling, he has deceived us. He is not what he seems. He has done, oh,
-so wrong--there have been things--that you ought never to hear----”
-
-“Stop!” said Bee. She had to speak in monosyllables with her labouring
-breath. “Wait!--not behind his back.” She rushed to the bell and rung it
-so wildly that both waiter and chambermaid appeared in alarm, with
-Moulsey rushing in calling for a doctor, and saying that her lady was
-going to faint. Bee pushed the woman aside and turned to the waiter, who
-stood anxious at the door. “Mr. Leigh!” she cried, impatiently; “the
-gentleman--who was with us: tell him--to come here.”
-
-“The tall young gentleman?” said the waiter.
-
-“No--the other: tell him he is to come here--instantly--this moment.”
-
-“I beg your pardon, miss,” said the man. “The other gentleman? He have
-been gone away this half-hour.”
-
-“Gone away!” she cried. And it seemed to Bee that the blackness of
-darkness closed over her and the room and everything in it. She did not
-faint, oh no, no such happiness--but everything grew dark, and through
-the dark she heard her own voice speaking--speaking, and did not know
-what she said.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER V.
-
-
-But Aubrey had not gone away. He had gone out in the dizziness of a
-great downfall, scarcely knowing how to keep his feet steady as he
-wandered along the dark street, not knowing where he went. The landscape
-that had charmed them all so much--was it scarcely an hour ago?--the
-lamps reflected in the water; the verandah, with its wreaths of green;
-the brilliant yet mysterious glimmer of the moon, made his heart sink to
-look at them now. He strayed off into the darkest of the narrow streets,
-into the great gloom of the cathedral shadow, where he could see nothing
-but a poor light twinkling here and there, making the darkness visible.
-Oh! how certain it is that, however sweet they may seem, your sins will
-find you out! Oh! how more than certain if you have let yourself be
-dragged down once, only once, in a spotless life, that the one fault
-will be made into the central fact of your whole existence. If he had
-been a bad, dissipated man, it would have been only fair. But this poor
-young fellow was like the young man whom our Lord loved though he went
-away. All good things he had kept from his youth up--but once, only
-once, half distracted by grief, and by the desire which is so natural to
-escape from grief, and by infernal temptation, he had fallen--oh, there
-was no need to tell him how he had fallen! Had it not been the canker in
-his soul ever since? And now this one thing, this miserable,
-much-repented fault, which revolted, disgusted, horrified himself, was
-brought up against him as if it were the pattern upon which he had
-shaped his life.
-
-And now, what was left for him but to fall down, down into the
-unfathomable abyss? The distracted feelings with which he had broken
-away from home, the horror and dismay that at once belonged to his
-natural grief and made the burden of it a thousand times harder to bear,
-all rushed back upon him, whirling him down and down to dimmer and more
-awful depths. He had partially healed himself in the intolerableness of
-his trouble by travel and change, and the arbitrary forgetfulness which
-comes from absence and the want of any association which could call back
-to him what was past; and then the touch of Bee’s soft, girlish hand,
-the sound of her voice, had suddenly called him back into an enchanted
-land where everything had again become possible. He had hesitated for
-some time, wondering if he might dare--he who had a secret smirch upon
-him which nobody suspected--to avail himself of this way of salvation.
-The reader will think that he had not hesitated very long--poor
-Aubrey--seeing that the introduction, the acquaintance, the love, the
-engagement had all occurred within the small space of one month; but to
-the brooding spirit the hours of one interminable day are long enough
-for a chronicle. Something like the phenomena of love at first sight had
-occurred in the bleeding yet young heart, which had felt itself cut
-loose from all the best associations of life. Deliverance, recreation,
-the new beginning of life and all its possibilities had gleamed upon him
-in Bee’s blue eyes. Her appearance swept away everything that was dark
-and ominous in his life. Did he dare to ask for her hand, to set out
-again to make himself a new career? He had worked at that question
-almost from the first day, discussing it with himself for the three
-weeks preceding their engagement, waking and sleeping, almost without
-intermission; and then in a moment he had forgotten all controversy, and
-let forth without intention the words that had been lying, so to speak,
-on the threshold of his lips--and in that moment all the clouds had been
-swept away. He was only eight and twenty after all--so young to have
-such a past behind him, and what so natural as that his life should
-begin again--begin now as for the first time? He had hesitated in the
-first fervour of his betrothal whether he should not tell all his story.
-But there was no one to tell it to but Mrs. Kingsward--a lady, even a
-young lady, not looking much older than Bee herself. That is one of the
-drawbacks of a young mother. She was still in the sphere of the girls,
-not in that of the old ladies whom Heaven has ordained to represent the
-mothers of the race. How could he tell to her the story of that
-entanglement? If Colonel Kingsward had been there, Aubrey was of opinion
-that he would have made a clean breast of everything to him. But I think
-it very likely that he might not have done so. He would have intended
-it, and he would have put it off from day to day; and then he knew how
-lightly men of the world look upon such matters. What would have
-horrified Mrs. Kingsward would probably call forth nothing but a
-pooh-pooh from her husband. Aubrey, as it proved, was mistaken there,
-for Colonel Kingsward had ideas of his own, not always corresponding to
-those of the ordinary man of the world; but no doubt had he heard the
-story from that side and not from the other, he would have regarded it
-in a very different light.
-
-But it was too late--too late for these reflections now. The fiat had
-gone forth, the sentence had been pronounced beyond appeal. Oh, Bee,
-Bee, she was too good for him; too fresh, too bright, unsullied by the
-world, for a man who had gone through so much already although he was
-still young enough. He who had loved and married--though, oh, how
-differently!--poor little Amy, who was nobody, whom he had liked for her
-yielding sweetness, sweetness which had cost him so dear--he who had
-been a father, who had lost his way in life amid the fogs of death and
-grief--how had he now dared to think that such a girl as Bee should
-dedicate her fresh young life to restore him again to the lost
-possibilities of his? It seemed to him the greatest presumption, the
-most dreadful, cynical, almost blasphemous attempt. It was the way of
-the world--to think that any woman, however good, might be sacrificed to
-the necessities of a man’s restoration whatever he had done; everybody
-thought so, his own mother even. But he, Aubrey, should have known
-better--he should have known that even at his best he could never have
-been good enough for Bee, and to think that he had dared now when he was
-no longer at his best! What a fool, what a fool he had been! He had come
-to be able to endure the daylight and “get on” well enough when he had
-arrived at the Bath and seen her first. Why had he not contented himself
-with that, knowing that he had no right to expect more? And now there
-was nothing--nothing before him but a plunge into the unutterable
-darkness--darker than ever, without any hope--worse almost, if worse
-were possible, than when he had fled from his home.
-
-He did not know how long he had been roaming about the dark town
-pondering all these dreadful thoughts. When he went back to the hotel,
-which he finally did, worn out, not knowing where else to go, one
-reproachful waiter, with eyes that said he ought to have been in bed
-long ago, was waiting for him with a curt demand what he would have to
-eat, and all the house, except that deserted eating-room, where one
-light twinkled--reproachful, like the waiter--was shut up. He went to
-his room when he had swallowed some brandy, which was the only thing he
-could find to put a little warmth into his chilled limbs and despairing
-heart, and threw himself miserable upon his bed, where I have no doubt
-he slept, though he was not aware of it--as Bee did, though she had no
-intention of doing so.
-
-The only one who was really a sufferer in this respect was poor Mrs.
-Kingsward, who was ill, and who had been far more agitated than her
-feeble strength could bear. She it was who lay and wondered all through
-the night what she must do. Was he really gone without a word, thus
-proving how much he was in the wrong, and how right the Colonel was? It
-would have saved her from a great deal of embarrassment, but I do not
-think Mrs. Kingsward wished that Aubrey might have really gone. It was
-too summary, it was not natural, it would show Colonel Kingsward to have
-been too right. Oh! she believed he was right! She did not doubt that
-his decision was for the best any more than she doubted that it was
-inexorable: but still the heart revolted a little, and she hoped that he
-might not be proved so unutterably right as that. And poor Bee--poor
-little Bee! She did not know, poor child, that there were bitters in the
-sweetest cup--that if she had twenty years of Aubrey she would not
-probably have thought quite so much of him as now--that nobody was
-perfect, which was a conviction that had been forced upon Mrs.
-Kingsward’s own mind, though it was not a strong one, by the passage of
-the years. And then the poor lady went off into perplexed considerations
-of what she personally must do. Must he leave them all at once, travel
-home in a different carriage, avoid them at the stations, not venture to
-come near their table when they dined on the way? It would seem so
-ridiculous, and it would be so embarrassing after their very close
-intercourse. But men never thought of these little things. She felt sure
-that the Colonel would expect her never to let the two meet again. And
-how could she do that when they were both travelling the same way?
-Besides, was it fair, was it just, would Bee endure it--never to see him
-again?
-
-Bee woke up in all the energy of despair. It burst upon her in the first
-moment of her waking that he had gone away, that it was all over; but
-her mind, when it had time to think, rejected that idea; he would not,
-could not have gone without a word, without even saying farewell,
-without asking her--anything, anything--to forgive him or to forget him,
-or to be faithful to him, or not to believe what was said against him.
-One or other of these things Aubrey must say to her before he went away.
-Therefore, he could not have gone away, and everything was still
-possible. In her passion and pride she had refused last night to let her
-mother tell her what it was. She had resolved that Aubrey should be
-present, that he should hear the accusation against him, that he should
-give his own explanation--that was only just, she said to herself--the
-poorest criminal had a right to that! And Aubrey should have it. He
-should not, whatever papa said and whatever mamma said, be condemned
-unheard. She dressed in great haste and rang the bell energetically to
-ascertain if he had come back. But the chambermaid who answered Bee’s
-bell was stupid and could not understand what Herr it was about whom the
-young lady questioned her so closely. Had he come back? Oh, yes, she
-believed all the Herren had come back; there was not a bed to be had in
-the house. But what Herr was it whom the gracious young lady sought.
-The old gentleman in the next room, who was so ill? She heard that he
-was a little better this morning--or the young Herr in number ten, or
-the Herr whose eyes were so bad, who was going to the great doctor at
-Dusseldorf? Perhaps poor Bee’s German was at fault. She was still
-attempting to make the matter clear when Moulsey came in with the news
-that Mrs. Kingsward was very poorly, and had not slept at all, a
-statement which Betty, rushing in half-dressed, confirmed anxiously.
-“Mamma has had a very bad night; and what is the matter, Bee, that we
-are all at sixes and sevens, and why did you lock your door? I came up
-as soon as I could--as soon as Charlie would let me. He said it was
-dreadful, nobody coming down; and that we must eat through the dinner
-for the sake of appearances. And Aubrey never showing neither, and me
-obliged to sleep in mamma’s room because you had locked the door.”
-
-“I want to know,” said Bee, “whether Aubrey came back last night.”
-
-“Oh, how should I know?” said Betty, “and why shouldn’t he come back?
-Of course he must have come back. Is he going anywhere else but home? I
-wish people would not get letters,” said the girl. “You are all so
-ridiculous since those letters came last night. Letters are nice when
-they are nice. But, oh! how much nicer it was yesterday morning when you
-had none, and we were all quite happy, and mamma well, and Aubrey and
-you as funny as you could be!”
-
-There flashed upon Bee as she spoke the whole bright panorama of
-yesterday. Not a cloud in the sky nor a trouble in the world. Mamma as
-fresh as the morning, the river shining, the steamboat thrilling through
-the water with a shiver of pleasure in its wooden sides, every group
-adding amusement, and they themselves affording it, no doubt, to the
-rest. How conscious they had been when they laughed under their breath
-at the young German pairs, that they themselves were lovers too, quite
-as happy, if not so demonstrative. Oh! yesterday--yesterday! You might
-as well say last century for anything that resembled it now. Bee turned
-almost fiercely to Moulsey, who stood looking on with that air of
-knowing all about it which so often exasperated the girls, and requested
-her to go downstairs immediately and ask if Mr. Leigh had come back.
-Moulsey hesitated and protested that the chambermaid would know. “And
-you that know the language, Miss Bee.”
-
-“Go down directly and inquire if Mr. Leigh has come back. You know the
-waiter that speaks such good English as well as I do,” said Bee,
-peremptorily. And Moulsey could do nothing but obey.
-
-Yes, Mr. Leigh had come back; he had occupied his room, but was not yet
-up so far as the attendants knew. There came such a change on Bee’s face
-at this news as startled both the curious observers. The light grew less
-fierce, more like the usual sunny brightness in her eyes. A softening
-came over her face. Her colour flashed back. “I want to know when mamma
-is coming downstairs,” she said. “Moulsey--or no, stop. I’ll go myself
-and see.”
-
-Moulsey was so roused that she caught the young lady by the arm. “If it
-was your papa himself, my lady shan’t be disturbed,” she said. “And not
-by you, Miss Bee, as are the cause of it all; not if you should put a
-knife into me afore her door.”
-
-“How dare you say I am the cause of it all?”
-
-“Because it’s the truth,” said the enraged maid. “She was worrited
-enough before by those letters, and you coming in like the wind, like
-your papa himself, as I always said you were his living image; and
-stopping her in the middle of her little bit of cutlet that would have
-given her strength, and questioning of her like a drum-major, and pacing
-up and down outside the door like a wild beast. Mind my words: you don’t
-know, none of you, how little strength my poor lady’s got. And you’re
-all so masterful, every one, with mamma here and mamma there, and you’ll
-not find out till it’s too late----”
-
-“But mamma’s better,” cried Betty. “She has taken her cure, and she’s
-all right till next year.”
-
-“I only wish as you may all find it so, miss,” said Moulsey, folding her
-arms across her broad chest and shaking her head.
-
-Bee was awe-struck for a moment by this speech, but she knew that
-Moulsey was always a croaker, and it was quite true about the cure. She
-paused a little uncertain, and then she resumed in a subdued voice--
-
-“I never want to disturb mamma. But Moulsey, we’ve got to leave here
-to-day.”
-
-“That can’t be,” said Moulsey, decisively. “My lady is not fit to travel
-after such a bad night, and I won’t have it,” she said. “The doctor has
-put my lady into my hands, and he says ‘She’s not to be overtired. Mind,
-I don’t respond for nothing if she’s overtired.’ And she just shan’t
-go--that’s flat. And you may all say what you like, and your papa, too.”
-
-“Not to-day?” said Bee, with another change of countenance. It flashed
-upon her that another day’s delay would give time for all the
-explanations in which she could not help hoping. Her excited pulses
-calmed down a little. She was not alarmed about her mother. Had she been
-so, it would no doubt have given her thoughts another direction. But Bee
-knew nothing of illness, much less anything of death. She was not
-afraid of them. In her experience people might be ill occasionally, but
-they always got better. Mamma, too, would be better presently, when she
-got up; and then they could all meet, and the letters and the whole
-matter could be discussed. And it seemed to be impossible--impossible
-that from this some better conclusion could be arrived at. There had
-been so much confusion last night, when it burst upon them like a
-thunderstroke. When looked at calmly, without flurry or haste, the
-better moment would bring better views, and who could say that all might
-not yet be well?
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VI.
-
-
-Emboldened by this thought Bee went downstairs to breakfast, which was
-spread again in the verandah in the warm sunshine of the autumnal
-morning. The new hope, though it were a forlorn one, restored her
-youthful appetite as well as her courage, and her coffee and roll were a
-real restorative after the long fast and agitated night. But there was
-no appearance of Aubrey, neither at the table nor in the passages, nor
-anywhere about. He seemed to have disappeared as if he had never been.
-When Charlie came down from his mother’s room, where he had been shut up
-with her for some time, Bee, who had no particular respect for Charlie’s
-opinion or inclination to allow him any authority over herself, such as
-an elder brother is sometimes supposed to have, began at once to
-question him. “Where is Aubrey?” she said. “Why doesn’t he come to
-breakfast? Will you go and look for Aubrey, Charlie?”
-
-“Indeed, I will do no such thing,” said Charlie, almost roughly. “I hope
-he has had the sense to go away. I should just like to see him come
-calmly down to breakfast as if nothing had happened. If he came, then I
-can answer for it, you should not be allowed to say a word to him, Bee.”
-
-“Who should prevent me?” cried Bee, looking up with her eyes on fire and
-her nostrils dilating. She had not noticed before what a cloud was upon
-Charlie’s face and how heavy and scowling were his brows. She added,
-springing up, “We shall soon see about that. If you think I shall do
-what you tell me, or condemn any man unheard----”
-
-“The cad! He never denied it. You can ask mamma.”
-
-“I will not ask anyone but Mr. Leigh,” said Bee, throwing back her head;
-“and I advise you to mind your own business, and not to call names that
-may come back upon yourself.”
-
-“Stop where you are, Bee. I never went out into the world under false
-pretences. A man is a cad when he does that.”
-
-“I shall not stop for you, nor anyone but my parents,” said Bee, in a
-splendid flush of anger, her countenance glowing, her eyes blazing.
-“Stand out of my way. Oh, if that is all, and you want to make a scene
-for the edification of the tourists, I can go in by the other door.”
-
-And she did so, leaving Charlie standing flushed and angry, but quite
-unable, it need scarcely be said, to coerce his sister. To make an
-attempt of this kind, which comes to nothing, is confusing and
-humiliating. He looked round angrily for a moment to see if it were
-possible to intercept her, then, yielding to necessity, sat down where
-Betty, eager and full of a thousand questions, sat calling for
-explanations. That is the good of a family party, there is always
-someone ready to hear what you have to say.
-
-Bee went at once to the English-speaking waiter, and asked for Mr.
-Leigh, whom the man, curious as all lookers-on are at a social drama
-going on under their eyes, declared to be still in his room. She sent
-him off instantly with a message, and stood in the hall awaiting his
-return, angry and brave, like the rose in George Herbert’s poem, yet
-soon getting shamefaced and troubled, as the people coming and going,
-travellers, visitors, attendants, stared at her and brushed against her
-as they passed. Bee never forgot all her life the gleam of the river at
-the foot of the steps, of which she had a glimpse through the
-doorway--the Rhine barges slowly crossing that little space of vision,
-the little boats flitting across the gleam of the rosy morning, and the
-strong flowing tide, the figures going up and down breaking the
-prospect.
-
-The man came back to her after a time, looking half sympathetic, half
-malicious, with the message that the gentleman was just going out.
-
-“Just going out!” She repeated the words half-consciously. “Was it
-Aubrey that sent her that message? Aubrey--who yesterday would not let
-her out of his sight, who followed her everywhere, saw every sign she
-made, heard every word almost before it was spoken!” The surprise and
-the pang together made her heart sick. She could not rush upstairs and
-knock at his door and call him out imperatively, to tell her immediately
-what it all meant--at least, though it occurred to her that this would
-be the most natural thing to do, she did not. Intimidated by the
-circumstances, by the half impertinence of the waiter, by the stare of
-the people about, she reflected for a moment breathlessly that he must
-come out this way, and that if she remained there she must see him. But
-Bee’s instinct of a young woman, now for the first time awakened, made
-her shrink from this. When she was only a little girl, so very short a
-time ago, she did not mind who looked at her, who pushed past her. But
-now everything was different!
-
-She went away, still holding her head high that nobody (above all not
-Charlie, who was watching her through the glass of the verandah) should
-guess that her courage was drooping, and going into the deserted
-sitting-room, where last night that blow had fallen upon her, sat down
-and wrote to her lover a hurried little note:
-
-
- “Oh, Aubrey, what is the matter? Have you deserted me without a
- word? Do you think I am like them, to take up any report? I don’t
- know what report there is--I don’t know what it is, this terrible
- thing that has come between us. What is it? I will take your word
- and nobody else’s. I don’t believe you have done anything that is
- wrong. Aubrey! come and tell me out of your own mouth. I told mamma
- last night I would hear nothing unless you were there; but you were
- gone away, they said. And now you send me word that you are going
- out and can’t see me. Going out and can’t see _me_! What does it
- all mean?
-
- “If it is some fad of honour, of not seeing me against _their_
- will--though I do think your first duty is to me, Aubrey, before
- anyone else in the world--but if it should be so, mamma will be
- down here at twelve o’clock--and I invite you to meet her, to hear
- what is said, to answer for yourself and for me. If you have done
- anything wrong, what does that matter? Don’t we all do wrong? And
- why should it come between you and me? Am I without sin that I
- should throw stones at you? Aubrey, you can’t throw everything away
- without a word. You can’t desert me without a word. I can bear
- anything--anything, rather than this.
-
-“Your BEE----.”
-
-
-
-Bee, poor child, shrank from intrusting this to the impertinent waiter,
-who had a leer in his eye as if he were defending his own side from the
-importunities of the other. She went out furtively into the hall and
-studied the numbers of the rooms and the names of the tenants upon the
-board, necessity quickening her perceptions, and then she stole
-upstairs and gave her poor little appeal into the hands of the stout
-chambermaid who watched over that part of the hotel. It was for the Herr
-in No. 10, and the answer was to be brought immediately to the little
-salon No. 20 downstairs. “Eine Antwort,” she said over and over again in
-her imperfect speech. “Schnell, schnell!” This, with the aid of a
-thaler--for it was before the days of the mark--produced perfect
-understanding in the mind of the maid, who with becks and wreathed
-smiles accepted the commission, and in a short time brought her back the
-answer for which she waited with feverish anxiety. It was very much
-shorter than her own.
-
- “I am not worthy to stand before you. I cannot and I must not take
- advantage of your innocence; better I should disappear altogether
- than wound your ears with what they say. But I will not since you
- will it so. At twelve o’clock then, Bee, my darling, I will stand
- up before your mother, and say what I can for myself. Bee, my own
- dearest, my only hope!”
-
-This last was scrawled across the paper as if he had put it in after the
-despair of the former part. It was this that the poor little girl fixed
-upon--the sweet words to which she had been accustomed, which her heart
-was fainting for. It was not, one would have said, a very cheerful note
-for a love-letter. But Bee was ridiculously cheered by it. So long as
-she was his own dearest, his hope, his darling--so long as there was no
-change in his love for her--why then, in the long run, whatever was
-said, everything must come right.
-
-I need not follow Bee to her mother’s bedside, when Mrs. Kingsward woke
-and for the first moment did not remember what had happened.
-
-“Is that you, Bee?” she said, smiling, not thinking.
-
-“Are you better, mamma?”
-
-“Oh, yes, just in my usual----,” said Mrs. Kingsward. And then she
-caught a fuller sight of her daughter’s face. Bee had none of her usual
-pretty colour, the light in her eyes was like fire. The mother gave a
-little feeble cry, and in a moment was no longer in her usual, but lost
-in the feverish mists of a trouble far too great for her to bear. “Oh,
-Bee! Oh, Bee!”
-
-“We had better not say anything about it, mamma, to agitate you. I have
-told him you will be ready at twelve o’clock, that I may know what the
-story is, and what he has to say.”
-
-Mrs. Kingsward struggled up to a sitting position. “At twelve o’clock?
-No! I cannot, I cannot!” Then she dropped back upon her pillows sobbing,
-“Oh, Bee, spare me; I am not equal to it. There is Charlie can read your
-papa’s letter. Bee! Bee!”
-
-“Charlie!” cried Bee, with a flash of fury. “Who is Charlie, that he
-should sit in judgment on Aubrey and me? If he has anything to do with
-it, I tell you, mamma, I will go away. I will go with Aubrey. I will not
-hear a word.”
-
-“Oh, Bee,” cried Mrs. Kingsward, holding out her hot, feverish hands, “I
-am not fit for it! I am not fit for it! If I am to travel to-morrow--ask
-Moulsey--I ought to stop in bed and be quiet all day.”
-
-“I don’t see that it matters,” said Bee, sternly, “whether we travel
-to-morrow or in a week. To go home will be no pleasure to me.”
-
-“If we were there, then papa could manage it all himself; he is the
-proper person. On a journey is not the time to settle things so
-important. I will write and tell him I have put it all off, and have not
-said anything, till he could do it himself.”
-
-“But that will not be true,” cried the young Rhadamanthus, inexorable,
-with her blazing eyes.
-
-“O Bee! you are dreadfully, dreadfully hard upon me!” the poor young
-mother said. This is the drawback of being so young a mother, just as
-young as your grown-up children. It is very delightful, when all is
-sunny and bright, but in a great emergency like this it is trying for
-all parties when a girl’s mother is only, so to speak, a girl like
-herself. Bee lifted up her absolute young head, and gave forth her
-ultimatum unmoved.
-
-“Well, mamma, it must be as you choose. If you think my happiness is of
-less consequence than the chance of a headache to yourself, I have
-naturally nothing more to say.”
-
-A headache! That was all she knew.
-
-Mrs. Kingsward was ready by twelve o’clock, much against Moulsey’s will,
-who dressed her mistress under protest. “I ain’t one to interfere with
-what’s going on in a family,” said Moulsey, as she combed out the long
-locks, tangled with the restlessness of a troubled night, which were as
-silky and as smooth as Bee’s. “I’m only a servant, and I knows my place;
-but you’re not fit to struggle among them young ones. The nursery
-children, it’s all very well; if they’re naughty you whip them, or you
-put them in a corner, and there’s a good cry and all right again. But
-when it comes to a business with a young lady and a gentlemen, the
-Colonel ought to have come himself, or he ought to have put it off till
-we all got home.”
-
-“Oh, I wish, I wish he had!” Mrs. Kingsward said, sighing. “I am not in
-the least what I used to be, Moulsey; don’t you think I am very
-different from what I used to be? I have not half the strength.”
-
-“There often is,” said Moulsey, “a time when a lady isn’t so strong,
-after all these children and everything. It takes a deal out of you, it
-do. And I don’t hold much with them foreign cures. I’m one that stands
-for home. And there’s where you ought to be, ma’am, whatever anyone may
-say.”
-
-“I am sure it is where I wish to be,” said the poor lady, “but we must
-not be unjust, Moulsey. My cure did me a great deal of good, and I liked
-being out and seeing everything just as much as the girls.”
-
-“That is just it, ma’am,” said Moulsey; “you’re a deal too much the same
-as the young ladies, and can’t make up your mind as you haven’t the
-strength for it. I’m not one to ask any questions, but I can’t help
-seeing there’s something wrong. Don’t you give in to Miss Bee in
-everything. I wouldn’t go down to make up the quarrel if I was you.
-Leave ’em to themselves, and it’ll all come right. Bless us, lovers’
-quarrels is nothing--it wouldn’t be half the fun if it wasn’t for that.”
-
-Moulsey knew very well this was no lovers’ quarrel; but it seemed to her
-a good way of satisfying herself what it was.
-
-“Oh, if that were all!” sighed the poor lady. “Moulsey, you are an old
-friend, and take an interest in the family. You have known Miss Bee
-since ever she was born. I don’t know why I shouldn’t tell you. It is
-no quarrel; it’s something the Colonel has heard about Mr. Leigh.”
-
-“All lies, ma’am, I don’t make no manner of doubt.”
-
-“Do you think so, Moulsey; oh, do you think so? Have you heard anything?
-You often know more, hearing the servants speak, than we do. If you have
-any light to throw on the subject, oh, do so, do! I shall be grateful to
-you all my life.”
-
-“I don’t know as I have any light to throw. I knew as there was some
-trouble at the time the poor young lady died--some friend of hers, as
-Mr. Leigh, being a kind-hearted gentleman, couldn’t turn out of the
-house--and it made a talk. But if there was anything wrong, you take my
-word, ma’am, it was none of his fault.”
-
-“Ah, it’s so easy to say that, Moulsey; but the man must bear the
-blame.”
-
-“I’ve always heard, ma’am, as it was the woman that got the blame; and
-right enough, for they often deserve it the most,” Moulsey said.
-
-“Oh, I wish--I wish, whoever was to blame, that it was not I that had
-to clear it up,” poor Mrs. Kingsward said.
-
- “Oh, cursed spite,
- That ever I was born to set it right.”
-
-She would not have said this, poor lady. She would have thought it
-swearing and unbecoming for a woman’s lips; still, Hamlet’s sentiment
-was hers, with much stronger reason. She looked like anything but a
-strong representative of justice as she went downstairs. Charlie had
-come to give her his arm, and though he was very tender to her, Charlie
-had no idea of sparing her any more than Bee. He, too, thought that it
-was only the risk of a headache, and that a headache was no such great
-matter. Charlie’s idea was, however, that what the governor said was, of
-all things on earth, the most important to be carried out--especially
-when it did not concern himself.
-
-Bee was sitting at the window looking out upon the river, seeing the
-reflections flash and the boats pass. The steamer had just started with
-its lively freight--the steamboat which had brought them down the stream
-yesterday, with all its changing groups, and the pairs of German lovers
-with their arms about each other in the beatitude of the betrothal. All
-just the same, but how different, how different! She did not rise, but
-only turned her head when her mother came in. She was on the other side.
-She did not see, with so many other things in her head, how fragile Mrs.
-Kingsward looked. Betty was the only one who perceived at all that mamma
-was less strong than usual, and even Betty took no notice, for she, too,
-was on the other side. As for Charlie, he stood behind her, a sort of
-representative of executive force at the back of Justice, backing her
-authority up. It was he who arranged her chair, her footstool, the shawl
-Moulsey had insisted she should wear, and which Charlie, who knew
-nothing about shawls, huddled up about her neck, not unlike the judge’s
-ermine. He did it all, not with sympathetic touches as the girls would
-have done had they not been on the other side, but rather with an eye to
-her dignity as a representative of the law.
-
-And then, just as the hour of noon sounded from all the church clocks,
-Aubrey came in. He was very pale, but dressed with care, no symptoms of
-neglect about him, with an air of preparation which became a man who was
-going to stand his trial. Bee jumped up from her seat and went up to
-him, putting her hand through his arm, and Betty, half-frightened, with
-a glance at her mother, offered him a timid hand. She sat down behind
-them, on a chair that was ranged against the wall. The defendant’s side
-was her side. She wanted to show that, and yet not to go against mamma.
-Charlie took no notice at all of the new comer, but stood scowling,
-looking at nobody, behind his mother’s chair.
-
-Mrs. Kingsward, frightened at her own dignity and breathless with
-agitation, cried, “Oh, Mr. Leigh!” which was a kind of salutation. She
-had some papers in her lap, over which her hands fluttered restlessly,
-her husband’s letter, and something else beside, and she looked at the
-group before her with a little dubious smile, asking pardon of the
-culprit whom she had come here--oh, so much against her will--to try for
-his life.
-
-“Now, mamma,” said Bee, in a cheerful voice, “we are quite ready, Aubrey
-and I--”
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VII.
-
-
-Mrs. Kingsward’s opening speech was a wonder to hear. She sat and looked
-at them all for a moment, trying to steady herself, but there was
-nothing to steady her in what she saw before her--Aubrey and Bee, the
-pair who had been so sweet to see, such a diversion in all
-circumstances, so amusing in their mutual absorption, so delightful in
-their romance. It all flashed back to her mind; the excitement of Bee’s
-first proposal, the pleasure of seeing “her bairn respected like the
-lave,” though Mrs. Kingsward might not have understood what these words
-meant, the little triumph it was to see her child engaged at nineteen,
-when everybody said there was nobody for the girls to marry--and now to
-have that triumph turned into humiliation and dismay! And to think of
-Bee’s bright face overcast, and her happiness over, and poor Aubrey
-thrown out into the uttermost darkness. Had she seen Charlie it might
-have given her some support, for Charlie was the impersonation of
-immovable severity; but Betty’s wistful little face behind the other
-pair, coming out from Aubrey’s shadow by moments to fix an appealing
-look upon her mother, was not calculated to make her any stronger. She
-cleared her throat--she tried hard to steady her voice. She said, “Oh,
-my dear children,” faltering, and then the poor lady ended in a burst of
-sobbing and tears. It gave her a little sting and stimulant to see
-through her weeping that though little Betty ran towards her with kisses
-and soothing, Bee took no notice, but stood hard and unaffected in her
-opposition, holding close to Aubrey’s arm. Mrs. Kingsward indeed got no
-sympathy except from little Betty. Charlie put his hand imperatively
-upon her shoulder, recalling her to herself, and Bee never moved,
-standing by the side of Aubrey Leigh. The mother, thus deserted,
-plucked up a little spirit in the midst of her weakness.
-
-“Bee,” she said, “I do not think it is quite nice of you to stand there
-as if your own people were against you. We are not against you. There
-has been, I fear, a great mistake made, which Colonel Kingsward”--here
-she turned her eyes to Aubrey--“has found out in--in time; though it is
-a pity, a sad pity, that it was not found out before. If Mr. Aubrey had
-only been frank and said at once--but I don’t see what difference that
-would have made. Papa says that from what he has heard and discovered
-things must not go any further. He is sorry, and so am I, that they have
-gone so far, and the engagement must be broken off at once. You hear
-what I say, Bee?”
-
-“I heard you say so last night, mamma, but I say it is my engagement,
-and I have a right to know why. I do not mean to break it off----”
-
-“Oh, how can I make explanations--how can I enter into such a question?
-I appeal to you, Mr. Aubrey--tell her.”
-
-“She ought not to ask any explanations. She is a minor, under age. My
-father has a right to do whatever he pleases--and she has none to ask
-why.”
-
-This was how Charlie reasoned on the height of his one-and-twenty years.
-Charlie was the intolerable element in all this question. Aubrey cast a
-look at him, and forcibly closed his own lips to keep in something that
-was bursting forth. Bee defied him, as was natural, on the spot. “I will
-not have Charlie put in his opinion,” she cried. “He has nothing to do
-with me. Even if I obeyed papa, I certainly should not obey him.”
-
-“Let Aubrey say, himself,” said Mrs. Kingsward, “whether you ought to be
-told everything, Bee.”
-
-“It is cruel to ask me,” said Aubrey, speaking for the first time. “If
-Bee could know all--if you could know all, Mrs. Kingsward! But how could
-I tell you all? Part of this is true, and part is not true. I could
-speak to Colonel Kingsward more freely. I am going off to-night to
-London to see him. It will free you from embarrassment, and it will give
-me perhaps a chance. I did not want to put you to this trial. I am ready
-to put myself unreservedly in Colonel Kingsward’s hands.”
-
-“Then,” said Bee, hastily, “it seems I am of no sort of importance at
-all to anyone. I am told my engagement is broken off, and then I am told
-I am not to know why, and then----. Go, then, Aubrey, as that is your
-choice, and fight it out with papa, if you please.” She loosed her arm
-from his, with a slight impulse, pushing him away. “But just mind
-this--everybody,” she cried; “you may think little of Bee--but my
-engagement shall not be broken by anybody but me, and it shall not be
-kept on by anybody but me; and I will neither give it up nor will I hold
-to it, neither one nor the other, until I know why.”
-
-Then the judge and the defendant looked each other in the face. They
-were, as may be supposed, on opposite sides, but they were the only two
-to consult each other in this emergency. Aubrey responded by a movement
-of his head, by a slight throwing up of his hand, to the question in
-Mrs. Kingsward’s eyes.
-
-“Then you shall know as much as I can tell you, Bee. Your father had a
-letter last week, from a lady, telling him that she had a revelation to
-make. The letter alarmed your father. He felt that he must know what it
-meant. He could not go himself, but he sent Mr. Passavant, the lawyer.
-The lady said that she had lived in Mr. Leigh’s house for years, in the
-time of his late wife. She said Mr. Leigh had--had behaved very badly to
-her.”
-
-“That I do not believe,” said Bee.
-
-The words flashed out like a knife. They made a stir in the air, as if a
-sudden gleam had come into it. And then all was still again, a strange
-dead quiet coming after, in which Bee perceived Aubrey silent, covering
-his face with his hand. It came across her with a sudden pang that she
-had heard somebody say this morning or last night--“He did not deny it.”
-
-“And that he had promised her--marriage--that he was engaged to her, as
-good as--as good as married to her--when he had the cruelty--oh, my dear
-child, my dear child!--to come to you.”
-
-Aubrey took his hand away from his white face. “That,” he said, in a
-strange, dead, tuneless voice, “is not true.”
-
-“Oh, more shame to you, Aubrey, more shame to you,” cried Mrs.
-Kingsward, forgetting her judicial character in her indignation as a
-woman, “if it is not true!--” She paused a moment to draw her breath,
-then added, “But indeed you were not so wicked as you say, for it is
-true. And here is the evidence. Oh!” she cried, with tears in her eyes,
-“it makes your conduct to my child worse; but it shows that you were not
-then, not then, as bad as you say.”
-
-Bee had dropped into the chair that was next to her, and there sat, for
-her limbs had so trembled that she could not stand, watching him, never
-taking her eyes from him, as if he were a book in which the
-interpretation of this mystery was----
-
-“Never mind about me,” he said, hoarsely. “I say nothing for myself.
-Allow me to be as bad as a man can be, but that is not true. And what is
-the evidence? You never told me there was any evidence.”
-
-“Sir,” said Mrs. Kingsward, fully roused, “I told you all that was in my
-husband’s letter last night.”
-
-“Yes--that she,” a sort of shudder seemed to run over him, to the keen
-sight of the watchers--“that she--said so. You don’t know, as I do, that
-_that_ is no evidence. But you speak now as if there was something
-more.”
-
-She took a piece of folded paper from her lap. “There is this,” she
-said, “a letter you wrote to her the morning you went away.”
-
-“I did write her a letter,” he said.
-
-Mrs. Kingsward held it out to him, but was stopped by Charlie, who put
-his hand on her arm. “Keep this document, mother. Don’t put the evidence
-against him into a man’s power. I’ll read it if Mr. Leigh thinks
-proper.”
-
-Once more Aubrey and Bee together, with a simultaneous impulse, looked
-at this intruder into their story.
-
-“Mamma! send him away. I should like to kill him!” said Bee within her
-clenched teeth.
-
-“Be quiet, Charlie. Mr. Leigh, I am ready to put this or any other
-evidence against you into your hands.”
-
-He bowed very gravely, and then stood once more as if he were made of
-stone. Mrs. Kingsward faltered very much, her agitated face flushed. “It
-begins,” she said, in a low fluttering voice, “My dear little wife----”
-
-Then there came a very strange sound into the agitated silence, for
-Aubrey Leigh, on trial for more than his life, here laughed. “What more,
-what more?” he said.
-
-“No, it is not that. It is--‘I don’t want my dear little wife to be
-troubled about anything. It can all be done quite easily and quietly,
-without giving an occasion for people to talk; a settlement made and
-everything you could desire. I shall make arrangements about everything
-to-day.’ It is signed A. L., and it is in your handwriting. Bee, you can
-see it is in his handwriting; look for yourself.”
-
-Bee would not turn her head. She thought she saw the writing written in
-fire upon the air--all his familiar turns in it. How well she knew the
-A. L.; but she did not look at it--would not look. She had enough to do
-looking at his face, which was the letter--the book she was studying
-now.
-
-“No doubt it is my handwriting,” he said, “only it was addressed not to
-any other woman, but to my wife.”
-
-“Your wife died two years ago, Mr. Leigh; and that is dated
-Christmas--this year.”
-
-“That is a lie!” he cried; then restrained himself painfully. “You know
-I don’t mean you--but the date and the assumption is entirely a lie.
-Give me time, and I will tell you exactly when it was written. I
-remember the letter. It was when I had promised Amy to provide for her
-friend on condition that she should be sent away--for she made my house
-miserable.”
-
-“And yet--and yet, Mr. Leigh----. Oh, don’t you see how things
-contradict each other? She made your house miserable, and yet---- when
-your wife was dead, and you were free----”
-
-He looked at her, growing paler and paler. “And yet!” he said. “I know
-what you mean. That is the infernal art of it. My own folly has cut the
-ground from beneath my feet, and put weapons into every hand against me.
-I know--I know.”
-
-Again there came into Bee’s mind the words she had heard last night--“He
-does not deny it.” And yet he was denying it with all his might!
-Denying, and not denying--what? The girl’s brain was all in a maze, and
-she could not tell.
-
-“You see?” said Mrs. Kingsward, gently. “Oh, I am sorry for you in my
-heart. Perhaps you were led into--a connection that you feel not to
-be--desirable. That I can understand. But that you should think you
-could save yourself by means of an innocent girl, almost a child, and
-impose yourself on a family that had no suspicions!--oh, Mr. Leigh, Mr.
-Leigh! you ought to have died sooner than have done that!”
-
-He looked at her piteously for a moment, and then a dreadful sort of
-smile came upon his face. “I allow,” he said, “that that would have been
-the best.”
-
-And there fell a silence upon the room. The sun was shining outside, and
-the sound of the water gurgling against the sides of boats, and of all
-the commotion of the landing place, and of the hundreds of voices in the
-air, and of the chiming of the clocks, came in and filled the place.
-And just then there burst out a carillon from one of the steeples
-setting the whole to music, harmonising all the discords, and sweeping
-into this silence with a sudden rush of sound as if some bodily presence
-had come in. It was the touch too much for all these excited and
-troubled people. Mrs. Kingsward lay back in her chair and began to weep
-silently. Aubrey Leigh turned away from where he was standing and leant
-his head against the wall. As for Bee, she sat quite still, dazed, not
-able to understand, but crushed out of all her youthful self-assertion
-and determination to clear it all up. She to clear it up!--who did not
-even understand it, who could not fathom what was meant. That there was
-something more than met the eye, something that was not put into words,
-seemed to show vaguely through the words that were said. But what it was
-Bee could not tell. She could not understand it all. And yet that there
-was a fatal obstacle rising up between her and her lover, something
-which no one could disperse or clear away, not a mistake, not a
-falsehood, not a thing that could be passed over triumphantly and
-forgotten--not as youth is so quick to believe a mere severity, tyranny,
-arbitrary conclusion of papa--she felt in every fibre of her frame. She
-could not deny it or struggle against it; her very being seemed
-paralysed. The meaning went out of her face, the absolute, certain,
-imperious youthfulness died out of her. She who loved to have her own
-way, who had just protested that she would neither give up nor hold fast
-except by her own will and understanding, now sat dumb, vaguely staring,
-seeing shadows pass before her and hearing of things which were
-undeniable, mighty things, far more powerful than her little hot
-resolutions and determinations. Bee had never yet come face to face with
-any trouble which could not be smoothed away. There was her own
-naughtiness, there were Charlie’s escapades at school and college--some
-of which she had known were serious. But in a little while they had been
-passed over and forgotten, and everything had been as before. One time
-she remembered papa had threatened not to let Charlie go back to Harrow,
-which was a dreadful thing, exposing him and his naughtiness to all the
-world. But after a while papa had changed his mind, and everything had
-gone smoothly as before. Could papa change his mind now? Would time make
-it, even if he did, as it was before? Bee had not mental power enough to
-think these things, or ask these questions of her own will. But they
-went through her mind as people come in and go out by an open door.
-
-It was Aubrey who was the first to speak. The carillon stopped, or else
-they got used to the sound and took no further notice of it, and he
-collected himself and came forward again to the middle of the room. He
-said, “I know it will be a relief that I should go away. There is an
-afternoon train which I shall take. It is slow, but it does not matter.
-I shall be as well there as anywhere--or as ill. I shall go direct to
-Colonel Kingsward and lay my whole case before him. He will perhaps
-confront me with my accuser--I hope so--if not, he will at least hear
-what I have to say for myself.”
-
-“Oh, Mr. Leigh! Oh, Aubrey! I can’t wish you anything but well,
-whatever--whatever may be done!”
-
-“Thank you, Mrs. Kingsward, I looked for nothing less from your kind
-heart. Will you give me that letter?”
-
-She put it into his hands without the least hesitation, and he examined
-it--with a sort of strained smile upon his face. “I should like to take
-this back to Colonel Kingsward,” he said. Then added quickly with a
-short laugh, “No, I forgot; there might be suspicions. Send it back to
-him, please, by the first post, that he may have it when I get there.”
-He gave the letter back, and then he looked round wistfully. “May I say
-good-bye to Bee?”
-
-She got up at the words, feeling herself vaguely called upon--yet quite
-dull, dumb, with all sorts of thoughts going and coming through those
-wide-open doors of her mind--thoughts like strays which she seemed to
-see as they passed. Even Aubrey himself appeared a ghost. She got up and
-stood awaiting him when he approached her, not putting out a finger.
-Nobody interfered, not even Charlie, who was fuming internally yet
-somehow did not move. Aubrey went up to her and put his hands upon her
-shoulders. Her unresponsiveness sent a chill to his heart.
-
-“Have you given me up, Bee?” he cried, “Already, already!” with anguish
-in his voice.
-
-She could not say a word. She shook her head like a mute, looking at him
-with her dazed eyes.
-
-“She does not understand it--not a word!” he said.
-
-Bee shook her head again. It was all she could do. No, she did not
-understand, except that it was a kind of dying, something against which
-nobody could struggle. And then he kissed her on her forehead as gravely
-as though he had been her father; and the next moment was gone--was it
-only out of the room, or out of the world, out of life?
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VIII.
-
-
-It was a slow train. The slowest train that there is, is, of course,
-far, far quicker than any other mode of conveyance practicable in a land
-journey, but it does not seem so. It seems as if it were delay
-personified to the eager traveller, especially on the Continent. In
-England, when it stops at a multiplicity of stations at which there is
-nothing to do, it at least goes on again in most cases after it has
-dropped its half-passenger or taken in its empty bag of letters. But
-this can never be said of a German or even of a brisker Belgian train.
-The one in which Aubrey was meandered about Liege, for instance, till he
-had mastered every aspect of that smoky but interesting place. It
-stopped for what looked like an hour at every little roadside station,
-in order, apparently, that the guard might hold a long and excited
-conversation about nothing at all with the head man of the place. And
-all the while the little electric bell would go tingling, tingling upon
-his very brain. Thus he made his slow and weary progress through the
-afternoon and evening, stopping long at last at a midnight station
-(where everything was wrapped in sleep and darkness) for the arrival of
-the express, in which the latter portion of the journey was to be
-accomplished more quickly. If there had been anything wanted to complete
-the entire overthrow of a spirit in pain it was such an experience. All
-was dismal beyond words at the place where he had to wait--one poor
-light showing through the great universe of darkness, the dark big world
-that encompassed it around--one or two belated porters wandering through
-the blackness doing mysterious pieces of business, or pretending to do
-them. A poor little wailing family--a mother and two children, put out
-there upon a bench from some other train, one of the babies wailing
-vaguely into the dark, the other calling upon “mamma, mamma,” driving
-the poor mother frantic--were waiting like himself. It gave Aubrey a
-momentary consolation to see something that appeared at least to the
-external eye more forlorn than he. He remembered, too, that there had
-once been a baby cry that went to his heart, and though all the
-associations connected with that had now turned into gall and
-bitterness, so that the sound seemed like a spear penetrating his very
-being, and he walked away as far as the bounds of the station would
-allow, to get, if possible, out of hearing of it--yet pity, a better
-inspiration, at last gained the day. He went up and spoke to the woman,
-and found that she was an English workman’s wife making her way home
-with her children to a mother who was dying. They had turned her out
-here, with her babies, to wait--ah, not for the express train which was
-to carry on the gentleman, but for the slow, slow-creeping third-class
-which only started in the morning, and which would, after other long
-waits at other places, reach England sometime, but she could scarcely
-tell when.
-
-“And must you pass the night here out in the cold?” said Aubrey.
-
-“It isn’t not to call a cold night, sir,” said the woman, meekly, “and
-they’ve got plenty on to keep them warm.”
-
-“I’ll try and get them to open the waiting-room for you,” said Aubrey.
-
-“Oh, no, sir; thank you kindly, but don’t take the trouble--the rooms
-are that stuffy. It’s better for them in the open air, and they’ll go to
-sleep in a little while. Baby will be quite warm on my lap, and Johnny’s
-lying against me.”
-
-“And what is to become of you in this arrangement?” said Aubrey, looking
-pitifully, with eyes that had known the experiences both of husband and
-father, upon this little plump human bed, which was to stand in the
-place of down pillows for the children.
-
-“Oh, I’ll do very well, sir, when they go to sleep,” she said, looking
-up at him with a smile.
-
-“And when does your train go?”
-
-“Not till six in the morning,” she replied; “but perhaps that’s all the
-better, for I’ll be able to get them some bread and milk, and a good
-wash before we start.”
-
-Well, it was not much of an indulgence for a man who was well off. He
-might have thrown it away on any trifle, and nobody would have wasted a
-thought on the subject. He got hold of one of the wandering ghosts of
-porters, and got him, with a douceur, to change the poor woman’s cheap
-ticket for her into one for the express, and commissioned him, if
-possible, to get her a place in a sleeping carriage, where, I fear, she
-was not likely to be at all a warmly welcomed addition to the luxurious
-young men or delicate ladies in these conveyances. He saw that there was
-one found for her which was almost empty when the train came up. He
-scarcely knew if she were young or old--though indeed, as a matter of
-fact, the poor little mother, bewildered by her sudden elevation among
-the gentlefolks, and not quite sure that she would not have preferred to
-remain where she was and pick up in the morning her natural third-class
-train, was both young and pretty, a fact that was remarked by the one
-young lady in the carriage, who saw the young man through the window at
-her side, and recognised him in a flash of the guard’s lantern, with
-deep astonishment to see him handing in such a woman and such children
-to the privileged places. He disappeared himself into the dark, and
-indeed took his place in the corner of a smoking carriage, where his
-cigar was a faint soother of pain. In his human short-sightedness, poor
-Aubrey also was consoled a little, I think, by the thought that this
-poor fellow-passenger was comfortable--she and her children--and that
-instead of slumbering uneasily on a bench, she was able to lay the
-little things in a bed. It seemed to him a good omen, a little
-relaxation of the bonds of fate, and he went away cheered a little and
-encouraged by this simple incident and by the warmth of the kindness
-that was in his heart.
-
-He spoke to them again on one or two occasions on the way, sent the poor
-woman some tea in the morning, bought some fruit for the children, and
-again on the steamboat crossing, when he listened to the account of how
-they were going on, from Dover, with a certain interest. When they
-parted at the train he shook hands with the mother, hoping she would
-find her relation better, and put a sovereign into Johnny’s little fat
-hand. The lady who had been in the sleeping carriage kept her eye upon
-him all the time. She was not by any means a malicious or bad woman, but
-she did not believe the poor woman’s story of the gentleman’s kindness.
-She was, I am sorry to say, a lady who was apt to take the worst view of
-every transaction, especially between men and women. People who do so
-are bound in many cases to be right, and so are confirmed in their
-odious opinion; but in many cases they are wrong, yet always hold to it
-with a faith which would do credit to a better inspiration. “I thought
-young Mr. Leigh was going to marry again,” she said to a friend whom she
-met going up to town.
-
-“Oh, so he is! To the nicest girl--Bee Kingsward, the daughter of one of
-my dearest friends--such a satisfactory thing in every way.”
-
-“Wasn’t there something,” said the lady of the sleeping carriage, “about
-a woman, down at his place in the country?”
-
-“Oh, I don’t think there was ever anything against him. There was a
-woman who was a great friend of his poor wife, and lived with them. The
-wife was a goose, don’t you know, and could not be made to see what a
-foolish thing it was. My opinion is that he never could abide the woman,
-and I am sure she made mischief between them. But I believe that silly
-little Mrs. Leigh--poor thing, we should not speak ill of those that are
-gone--made him promise on her deathbed that this Miss Something-or-other
-should not be sent away from the house. It was a ridiculous arrangement,
-and no woman that respected herself would have done it. But she was
-poor, and it’s a comfortable place, and, perhaps, as there was no
-friendship between them she may have thought it was no harm.”
-
-“Perhaps she thought she would get over him in time and make him marry
-her.”
-
-“Oh, I can’t tell what she thought! He rushed off in a hurry at a
-moment’s notice, nobody knowing what he intended, after the poor baby
-died, the very day of its funeral. Not much to be wondered at, poor
-young man, after all he had gone through. I don’t know how things were
-settled with Miss Lance, but I believe that she has gone at last. And I
-am delighted to hear of his engagement. So will all his neighbours in
-the county be.”
-
-“I should not like a daughter of mine to marry a man like that.”
-
-“Why? I wish a daughter of mine could have the chance. Everybody likes
-him at home. Do you know anything of Aubrey Leigh?”
-
-He did not know in the least that this talk was going on as the train
-went rushing on to town; his ears did not tingle. He was in the next
-carriage, divided only by a plank from these two ladies in their
-compartment. The woman who took the bad view of everything did not wish
-him any harm. She did not even think badly of him. She thought it was
-only human nature, and that young men will do that sort of thing,
-however nice they may be, and whatever you may say of morals and so
-forth. I do not think, though she had made that little conventional
-speech, that she would at all have hesitated to give her own daughter to
-Aubrey, provided that she had a daughter. His advantages were so
-evident, and the disadvantages, after all, had so little to do with
-actual life.
-
-Aubrey did not present himself before Colonel Kingsward that night. He
-did not propose to follow him to Kingswarden, the old house in Kent,
-which was the sole remnant of territorial property belonging to the
-family. He wanted to have all his wits about him, to be cool and
-self-possessed, and able to remember everything, when he saw the man who
-had given him Bee and then had withdrawn her from his arms. He already
-knew Colonel Kingsward a little, and knew him as a man full of
-_bonhommie_, popular everywhere--a man of experience, who had been about
-the world, who knew men. By this time Aubrey had recovered his spirits a
-little. He thought it impossible that such a man, when a younger than
-himself laid bare his heart to him, could fail to understand. It was
-true that the Colonel was probably a martinet in morals as he was in his
-profession, and Aubrey had that behind him which he could not deny. He
-would not attempt to gloss it over, to make excuses for it. He would lay
-his life in this man’s hand as if he had been his confessor. And
-surely, surely the acknowledged sin would find absolution, the
-extenuating circumstances would be considered, the lie with which that
-accusation was accompanied would recoil upon the accuser. The young man
-buoyed himself up with these thoughts through the long evening. He did
-not go out or to his club, or anywhere where he was known. In September
-there are not so many inducements to stray about London. He sat in his
-room and thought of Bee, and wrote little letters to her, which were a
-relief to his mind though he knew he could not send them. By this time
-he reflected they must have started. They were beginning their journey
-as he ended his. He hoped that Charlie, that lout, would have the sense
-to take care of his mother, to see that she suffered as little as
-possible, to prevent her from having any trouble--which I fear was not
-the view at all that Charlie took of his duty to his mother. Aubrey,
-like all outsiders, had a clearer view of Mrs. Kingsward’s condition
-than her family had arrived at. He was very sorry for her, poor,
-delicate, tender woman--and grieved to the bottom of his heart that this
-trouble should have come upon her through him. Bee was different. There
-would be so many ways, please God, if all went well--and he could not
-bring himself to think that all would not go well--in which he could
-make it up to his Bee. Finally, he permitted himself to write a little
-letter to meet his darling on her return, and enclosed in it another to
-Mrs. Kingsward, directed to Kingswarden. They would receive it when they
-entered their house--and by that time, surely by that time, his letters
-would not be any longer a forbidden thing.
-
-That morning it rained, and the London skies hung very low. The world
-had the effect of a room with a low roof, stifling and without air. He
-set out to walk to Colonel Kingsward’s office. I forget whether the
-Intelligence Department of the War Office was in existence at that time,
-or if it has always been in existence only not so much heard of as in
-our vociferous days. If it did exist then, it was, of course, in Pall
-Mall, as we all know. Aubrey set out to walk, but soon recollected that
-muddy boots detracted from a man’s appearance, especially in the eyes of
-a spick and span person like Colonel Kingsward, who never had a speck
-upon any garment, and accordingly he got into a hansom. It did not go
-any faster than the beating of his heart, and yet he could have wished
-that it should only creep along like the heavier cabs. He would have put
-off this interview now had he been able. To think that you are within an
-hour at most of the moment when your life shall be settled for you
-absolutely by another person’s will, and that your happiness or
-unhappiness rest upon the manner in which he will look at the question,
-the perception he will have of your difficulties, the insight into your
-heart, is a terrible thing--especially if you know little of the person
-who has thus become endowed, as it were, with the power of life and
-death over you--do not know if his understanding is a large or limited
-one, if he has any human nature in him, or only mere conventionality and
-the shell of human nature. It is seldom, perhaps, that one man is thus
-consciously in the power of another--and yet it must come to that more
-or less, every day.
-
-Colonel Kingsward was in his room, seated at his writing table with
-piles of books and maps, and masses of newspapers all round him. He was
-an excellent linguist, and there were French papers and German papers,
-Russian, Scandinavian--all kinds of strange languages and strange little
-broadsheets, badly printed, black with excessive ink, or pale with
-imperfect impression, on the floor and the table. He had a large paper
-knife at his hand in ivory, with the natural brown upon it, looking like
-a weapon which could cut a man, not to say a book, in pieces. He looked
-up with an aspect which Aubrey, whose heart was in his mouth, could not
-read--whether it was mere politeness or something more--and bade Mr.
-Leigh be seated, putting aside deliberately as he did so the papers with
-which he was engaged. And then he turned round with the air of a man who
-says: Now you have my entire attention--and looked Aubrey in the face.
-The young man was facing the light which came in from a large high
-window reaching nearly to the roof. The elder man had his back half
-turned from it, so that his regard was less easy to read. It was not
-quite fair. Aubrey had everything against him; his agitation, his
-anxiety, an expressive tell-tale face, and the light searching every
-change that took place in it; whilst his opponent was calm as his own
-paper knife, impassive, with a countenance formed to conceal his
-emotions, and the light behind him. It was not an equal match in any
-way.
-
-“I have come direct from Cologne,” Aubrey said.
-
-“Ah, yes. I believe my wife says so in her letter.”
-
-“You have news from them to-day? I hope that Mrs. Kingsward is better.”
-
-“My wife never at any time speaks much of her health. She was a little
-fatigued and remained another day to rest.”
-
-“She is very delicate, sir,” said Aubrey. He did not know why, unless it
-was reluctance to begin what he had to say.
-
-“I am perfectly acquainted with Mrs. Kingsward’s condition,” said the
-Colonel, in a tone which was not encouraging. He added, “I don’t suppose
-you took the trouble to come here, Mr. Leigh, in order to speak to me
-about my wife’s health.”
-
-“No. It is true. I ought not to waste the time you have accorded me. I
-do not need to tell you, Colonel Kingsward, what I have come about.”
-
-“I think you do,” said the Colonel, calmly. “My letter to my wife, which
-I believe she communicated to you, conveyed all I had to say on the
-matter. It was not written without reflection, nor without every
-possible effort to arrive at the truth. Consequently, I have no desire
-to re-open the subject. It is in my mind concluded and put aside.”
-
-“But you will hear me?” said Aubrey. “You have heard one statement,
-surely you will hear the other. No man is condemned unheard. I have come
-here to throw myself upon your mercy--to tell you my story. However
-prejudiced you may be against me----”
-
-“A moment, Mr. Leigh. I have no prejudice against you. I am not the
-judge of your conduct. I claim the right to decide for my daughter--that
-is all. I have no prejudice or feeling against you.”
-
-“Colonel Kingsward,” cried Aubrey, “for God’s sake listen! Hear what I
-have to say!”
-
-The Colonel looked at him again. Perhaps it was the passion of
-earnestness in the young man’s face that touched him. Perhaps he felt
-that it was unwise to leave it to be said that he had not heard both
-sides. The end was that he waved his hand and said:
-
-“My time is not my own. I have no right to spend it on merely private
-interests; but if you will make your story as short as possible I will
-hear what you have to say.”
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IX.
-
-
-The story which Aubrey Leigh had to tell was indeed made as short as
-possible. To describe the most painful crisis in your life, the moment
-which you yourself shudder to look back at, which awakens in you that
-fury of self-surprise, horror and wonder which a sudden departure from
-all the habits of your life brings after it when it is guilt, is not an
-easy thing; but it supplies terse expressions and rapidity of narration.
-There is no desire to dwell upon the details, and to tell a story so
-deeply affecting one’s self to a politely unsympathetic listener who
-does not affect to be much interested or at all moved by the subtle
-self-defence which runs through every such statement, is still more
-conducive to brevity. Aubrey laid bare the tempest that had swept over
-him with a breathless voice and broken words. He could not preserve his
-equanimity, or look as if it were an easy thing for him to do. He made
-the most hurried description of the visitor who had taken possession of
-his house, saying not a word beyond the bare fact. It had been deeply
-embarrassing that she should be there, though at first in the melancholy
-of his widowerhood he had not thought of it, or cared who was in the
-house. Afterwards he was prevented from doing anything to disturb her by
-his promise to his dying wife. Then had come the anxiety about the baby,
-the wavering of that little life in which the forlorn young father had
-come to take a little pleasure. She had been very kind to the child,
-watching over it, and when the little thing died, when the misery of the
-fresh desolation, and the pity of it, and the overwhelming oppression of
-the sad house had quite overcome the spirit of its young master, then
-she had thrown herself upon him, with all the signs of a sudden passion
-of sympathy and tenderness. Had any confessor skilled in the accounts of
-human suffering heard Aubrey’s broken tale he could have found nothing
-but truth in it, and would have recognised the subtle sequence of events
-which had led to that downfall. But Colonel Kingsward, though not
-unlearned in men, listened like a man of wood, playing with the large
-paper-knife, and never looking towards the penitent, who told his story
-with such a strain of the labouring breast and agonised spirit. Had a
-young officer in whom he had no particular interest thus explained and
-accounted for some dereliction of duty he might have understood or
-sympathised. But he had no wish to understand Aubrey; his only desire
-was to brush him off as quickly as possible, to be done with his
-ridiculous story, to hear of him no more. He might be as little guilty
-as he described himself. What then? Aubrey’s character was nothing to
-Colonel Kingsward, except as it affected his daughter. He had cut him
-off from all connection with his daughter, and it was now quite
-immaterial to him whether the man was a weak fool or a deceiver.
-Probably from as much as he heard while thus listening as little as he
-could, Leigh was in the former class, and certainly he did not intend
-to take a weak fool, who had shown himself to be at the mercy of any
-designing woman, into his family as the husband of Bee. Give him the
-benefit of the doubt, and allow that it had happened so, that the woman
-was much more to blame than the man, and what then? A sturdy sinner on
-the whole was not less but more easily pardoned than a weak fool.
-
-“This is all very well, Mr. Leigh,” Colonel Kingsward said, “and I am
-sorry that you have thought it necessary to enter into these painful
-details. They may be quite true. I will not offend you by doubting that
-you believe them to be quite true. But how, then, do you account for the
-letter which my wife, I believe, showed you, and which came direct from
-the lady’s own hand to mine?”
-
-“The letter was a letter which I wrote to my wife two years ago. There
-had been discussions between us on this very subject. I promised, on
-condition that Miss Lance should leave us, to make such arrangements for
-her comfort as were possible to me--to settle a yearly income on her,
-enough to live on.”
-
-“Was that arrangement ever carried out?”
-
-“No; my wife became ill immediately after. I found her on my return in
-Miss Lance’s arms, imploring that so long as she lived her friend should
-not be taken from her. What could I do? And that prayer was changed on
-my poor Amy’s deathbed to another--that I would never send Miss Lance
-away; that she should always have a home at Forest-leigh and watch over
-the child.”
-
-“I don’t wish to arouse any such painful recollections--especially as
-they can be of no advantage to anyone--but how does this letter come to
-have the date of last Christmas, more than a year after Mrs. Leigh’s
-death?”
-
-“How can I tell that, sir? How can I tell how the devilish web was woven
-at all? The note had no date, I suppose, and the person who could use it
-for this purpose would not hesitate at such a trifle as to add a date.”
-
-“Mr. Leigh, I repeat the whole matter is too painful to be treated by
-me. But how is it, if you regarded this lady with those sentiments,
-that you should have in a moment changed them, and, to put the mildest
-interpretation upon your proceedings, thus put yourself in her power?”
-
-The young man’s flushed and anxious face grew deadly pale. He turned his
-eyes from the inquisitor to the high blank light pouring in from the
-large window. “God knows,” he said, “that is what I cannot explain--or
-rather, I should say, the devil knows!” he cried with vehemence. “I was
-entirely off my guard--thinking, heaven knows, of nothing less.”
-
-“The devil is a safe sort of agency to put the blame on. We cannot in
-ordinary affairs accept him as the scapegoat, Mr. Leigh--excuse me for
-saying so. I will not refuse to say that I allow there may be excuses
-for you, with a woman much alive to her own interests and ready for any
-venture. You did write to her, however, on the day you left?”
-
-“I wrote to her, telling her the arrangement I had proposed to my wife,
-in the very letter which she has sent to you--that I would carry it out
-at once, and that I hoped she would perceive, as I did, that it was
-impossible we should remain under the same roof, or, indeed, meet
-again.”
-
-“That was on what date?”
-
-“The evening before my child’s funeral. Next day, as soon as it was
-over, I left the house, and have never set foot in it again.”
-
-“Yet this lady, to whom you had, you say, sent such a letter, was at the
-funeral, and stood at the child’s grave leaning on your arm.”
-
-“More than that,” cried Aubrey, with a gasp of his labouring breath,
-“she came up to me as I stood there and put her arm, as if to support
-me, within mine.”
-
-The Colonel could not restrain an exclamation. “By Jove,” he said, “she
-is a strong-minded woman, if that is true. Do you mean to say that this
-was after she had your letter?”
-
-“I suppose so. I sent it to her in the morning. I was anxious to avoid
-any scene.”
-
-“And then, on your way to London, on that day, you went to your
-solicitors, and gave instructions in respect to Miss Lance’s
-annuity--which you say now had been determined on long before?”
-
-“It was determined on long before.”
-
-“But never mentioned to any one until that time.”
-
-“I beg your pardon; on the day on which I wrote that letter to my
-wife I went direct to my lawyer and talked the matter over freely
-with Mr. Morell, who had known me all my life, and knew all the
-circumstances--and approved my resolution, as the best of two evils, he
-said.”
-
-“This is the most favourable thing I have heard, Mr. Leigh. He will, of
-course, be able to back you up in what you say?”
-
-“Mr. Morell!” Aubrey sprang to his feet with a start of dismay. “I
-think,” he cried, “all the powers of hell must be against me. Mr. Morell
-is dead.”
-
-They looked at each other for a moment in silence. A half smile came
-upon the Colonel’s face, though even he was a little overawed by the
-despair in the countenance of the young man.
-
-“I don’t know that it matters very much,” he said, “for, after all, Mr.
-Leigh, your anxiety to get rid of your wife’s companion might have two
-interpretations. You might have been sincerely desirous to free yourself
-from a temptation towards another woman, which would have given Mrs.
-Leigh pain. A man does not sacrifice two hundred a year without a strong
-motive. And subsequent events make this a far more likely reason than
-the desire to get rid of an unwelcome inmate.”
-
-“I cannot tell whether my motive was likely or not. I tell you, sir,
-what it was.”
-
-“Ah, yes--but unfortunately without any corroboration--and the story is
-very different from the other side. It appears from that that you wished
-to establish relationship during your poor wife’s life, and that it was
-the lady who was moved by pity for you in a moment of weakness--which is
-much more according to the rule in such matters.”
-
-“It is a lie!” Aubrey cried. “Colonel Kingsward, you are a man--and an
-honourable man. Can you imagine another man, with the same principles as
-yourself, guilty of such villainy as that? Can you believe----”
-
-“Mr. Leigh,” said the other, “it is unnecessary to ask me what I can
-believe; nor can I argue, from what I would do, as to what you would do.
-That may be of good Christianity, you know, but it is not tenable in
-life. Many men are capable enough of what I say; and, indeed, I do you
-the credit to believe that you were willing to keep the temptation at a
-distance--to make a sacrifice in order to ease the mind of your wife. I
-show a great deal of faith in you when I say that. Another man might say
-that Mrs. Leigh had exacted it from you as a thing necessary to her
-peace.”
-
-Aubrey Leigh rose up again, and began to pace the room from one side to
-the other. He could not keep still in his intolerable impatience and
-scorn of the net which was tightening about his feet. Anger rose up like
-a whirlwind in his mind; but to indulge it was to lose for ever the
-cause which, indeed, was already lost. When he had gained control over
-himself and his voice, he said, “We had neighbours; we had friends; our
-life was not lived in a corner unknown to the world. There is my mother;
-ask them--they all know----.”
-
-“Does anyone outside know what goes on between a husband and wife?” said
-Colonel Kingsward. “Such discussions do not go on before witnesses. If
-poor Mrs. Leigh----”
-
-“Sir,” cried Aubrey, stung beyond hearing, “I will not permit any man to
-pity my wife.”
-
-“It was beyond my province I allow, but one uses the word for those who
-die young. I don’t know why, for if all is true that we profess to
-believe they certainly have the best of it. Well, if Mrs. Leigh, to
-speak by the book, had any such burden on her mind, and really felt her
-happiness to depend on the banishment of that dangerous companion, it is
-not likely that she would speak of it either to your neighbours or to
-your mother.”
-
-“Why not? My mother was of that mind, though not for that villainous
-reason; my mother knew, everybody knew--everybody agreed with me in
-wishing her gone. I appeal to all who knew us, Colonel Kingsward! There
-is not a friend I have who did not compassionate me for Amy’s insensate
-affection. God forgive me that I should say a word against my poor
-little girl, but it was an infatuation--as all her friends knew.”
-
-“Don’t you think we are now getting into the region of the extravagant?”
-Colonel Kingsward said. “I cannot send out a royal commission to take
-the evidence of your friends.”
-
-Aubrey had to pause again to master himself. If this man, with his
-contemptuous accents, his cool disdain, were not Bee’s father!---- but
-he was so, and, therefore, must not be defied. He answered after a time
-in a subdued voice. “Will you allow me--to send one or two of them to
-tell you what they know. There is Fairfield, with whom you are
-acquainted already, there is Lord Langtry, there is Vavasour, who was
-with us constantly----”
-
-“To none of these gentlemen, I presume, would Mrs. Leigh be likely to
-unfold her most intimate sentiments.”
-
-“Two of them have wives,” said Aubrey, determined to hold fast, “whom
-she saw familiarly daily--country neighbours.”
-
-“I must repeat, Mr. Leigh, I cannot send out a royal commission to take
-the evidence of your friends.”
-
-“Do you mean that you will not hear any evidence, Colonel
-Kingsward?--that I am condemned already?--that it does not matter what I
-have in my favour?”
-
-Colonel Kingsward rose to dismiss his suitor. “I have already said, Mr.
-Leigh, that I am not your judge. I have no right to condemn you. Your
-account may be all true; your earnestness and air of sincerity, I allow,
-in a case in which I was not personally involved, would go far to making
-me believe it was true. But what then? The matter is this: Will I allow
-my daughter to marry a man of whom such a question has been raised? I
-say no: and there I am within my clear rights. You may be able to clear
-yourself, making out the lady to be a sort of demon in human shape. My
-friend, who saw her, said she was a very attractive woman. But really
-this is not the question. I am not a censor of public morals, and on the
-whole it is a matter of indifference to me whether you are guiltless or
-not. The sole thing is that I will not permit my daughter to put her
-foot where such a scandal has been. I have nothing to do with you but
-everything with her. And I think now that all has been said.”
-
-“That is, you will not hear anything more?”
-
-“Well--if you like to put it so--I prefer not to hear any more.”
-
-“Not if Bee’s happiness should be involved?”
-
-“My daughter’s happiness, I hope, does not depend upon a man whom she
-has known only for a month. She may think so now. But she will soon know
-better. That is a question into which I decline to enter with you.”
-
-“Men have died and worms have eaten them, but not for love,” said
-Aubrey, with a coarse laugh. He turned as if to go away. “But you do not
-mean that this is final, Colonel Kingsward---- not final? Not for ever?
-Never to be revised or reconsidered---- even if I were as bad as you
-think me?”
-
-“How needless is all this! I have told you your character does not
-concern me--and I do not say that you are bad--or think so. I am sorry
-for you. You have got into a rather dreadful position, Mr. Leigh, for a
-young man of your age.”
-
-“And yet at my age you think I should be cut off for ever from every
-hope of salvation!”
-
-“Not so; this is all extravagant--ridiculous! And if you will excuse me,
-I am particularly busy this morning, with a hundred things to do.”
-
-Poor Aubrey would have killed with pleasure, knocked down and trampled
-upon, the immovable man of the world who thus dismissed him; but to be
-humble, even abject, was his only hope. “I will try, then, to find some
-moment of leisure another time.”
-
-“It is unnecessary, Mr. Leigh. I shall not change my mind; surely you
-must see that it is better for all parties to give it up at once.”
-
-“I shall never give it up.”
-
-“Pooh! one nail drives out another. You don’t seem to have been a
-miracle of constancy in your previous relationships. Good morning. I
-trust to hear soon that you have made as satisfactory a settlement of
-other claims.”
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER X.
-
-
-Other claims! What other claims? Aubrey Leigh went out of the office in
-Pall Mall with these words circling through his mind. They seemed to
-have nothing to do with that which occupied him, which filled every
-thought. His dazed memory and imagination caught them up as he went
-forth in the fury of suppressed anger, and the dizzy, stifled sensation
-of complete failure. He had felt sure, even when he felt least sure,
-that when it was possible to tell his tale fully, miserable story as it
-was, the man to whom he humbled himself thus, not being a recluse or a
-mere formalist--a man of the world--would at least, to some degree,
-understand and perceive how little real guilt there might be even in
-such a fault as he had committed. It was not a story which could be
-repeated in a woman’s ears; but a man, who knew more or less what was in
-man--the momentary lapses, the sudden impulses, the aberrations of
-intolerable trouble, sorrow, and despair----. Aubrey did not take into
-account the fact that there are some men to whom such a condition as
-that into which he himself had fallen in the desolation of his silent
-house--when death came a second time within the sad year, and his young
-soul felt in the first sensation of despair that he could not bear it;
-that he was a man signalled out by fate, to whom it was vain to
-struggle, to whom life was a waste and heaven a mockery--was
-inconceivable. Colonel Kingsward was certainly not a man like that. He
-would have said to himself that the mother being gone it was only a
-blessing and advantage that the child should go too, and he would have
-withdrawn himself decorously to his London lodgings and his club, and
-his friends would all have said that it was on the whole a good thing
-for him, and that he was young, and his life still before him. So,
-indeed, they had said of Aubrey, and so poor Aubrey had proved for
-himself. Had there not been that terrible moment behind him, that
-intolerable blackness and midnight of despair, in which any hand that
-gripped his could lead him till the light of morning burst upon him, and
-showed him whither in his misery he had been led!
-
-Satisfy other claims? The words blew like a noxious wind through his
-brain. He laughed to himself softly as he went along. What claims had he
-to satisfy? He had done all that honour and scorn could do to satisfy
-the harpy who had dug her claws into his life. Should he try to
-propitiate her with other gifts? No, no! That would be but to prolong
-the scandal, to give her a motive for continuance, to make it appear
-that he was in her power. He was in her power, alas, fatally as it
-proved, if it should be so that she had made an end of the happiness of
-his life. She had blighted the former chapter of that existence,
-bringing out all that was petty in the poor little bride over whom she
-had gained so complete an ascendancy, showing her husband Amy’s worst
-side, the aspect of her which he might never have known but for that
-fatal companion ever near. And now she had ruined him altogether--ruined
-him as in old stories the Pamelas of the village were ruined by a
-villain who took advantage of their simplicity. What lovely woman who
-had stooped to folly could be more ruined than this unhappy young man?
-He laughed to himself at this horrible travesty of that old familiar
-eighteenth century tale. This was the _fin de siecle_ version of it, he
-supposed--the version in which it was the designing woman who seized
-upon the moment of weakness and the man who suffered shipwreck of
-everything in consequence. There was a horrible sort of ridicule in it
-which wrought poor Aubrey almost to madness. When the woman is the
-victim, however sorely she may be to blame for her own disgrace, a sort
-of pathos and romance is about her, and pity is winged with indignation
-against the man who is supposed to have taken advantage of her weakness.
-But when it is a man who is the victim! Then the mildest condemnation he
-can look for is the coarse laugh of contempt, the inextinguishable
-ridicule, to which even in fiction it is too great a risk to expose a
-hero. He was no hero--but an unhappy young man fallen into the most
-dreadful position in which man could be, shut out of all hope of ever
-recovering himself, marked by the common scorn--no ordinary sinner, a
-man who had profaned his own home, and all the most sacred prejudices of
-humanity. He had felt all that deeply when he rushed from his house, a
-man distraught not knowing where he went. And then morning and evening,
-and the dews and the calm, and the freshness and elasticity inalienable
-from youth had driven despair and horror away. He had felt it at last
-impossible that all his life--a life which he desired to live out in
-duty and kindness, and devotion to God and man--should be spoiled for
-ever by his momentary yielding to a horrible temptation. He had thought
-at first that he never could hold up his head again. But gradually the
-impression had been soothed away, and he had vainly hoped that such a
-thing might be left behind him and might be heard of no more.
-
-Now he was undeceived--now he was convinced that for what a man does he
-must answer, not only at the bar of God, where all the secrets of the
-heart are revealed, but also before men. There are times in which the
-former judgment is more easy to think of than the latter--for God knows
-all, everything that is in favour of the culprit, while men only know
-what is against him. A man with sorrow in his heart for all his
-shortcomings, can endure, upon his knees, that all-embracing gaze of
-infinite understanding and pity. But to stand before men who
-misconstrue, mis-see, misapprehend, how different a thing it is--who do
-not know the end from the beginning, to whom the true balance and
-perfect poise of justice is almost impossible--who can judge only as
-they know, and who can know only the husk and shell of fact, the
-external aspect of affairs by the side which is visible to them. All
-these thoughts went through Aubrey’s mind as he went listlessly about
-those familiar streets in their autumnal quiet, no crowd about, nothing
-to interrupt the progress of the wayfarer. He went across the Green
-Park, which is brown in the decadence of summer, almost as solitary as
-if he had been in his own desolate glades at home. London has a
-soothing effect sometimes on such a still, sunny autumn day, when it
-seems to rest after the worry and heat and strain of all its frivolity
-and folly. The soft haze blurs all the outlines, makes the trees too
-dark and the sky too pale; yet it is sunshine and not fog which wraps
-the landscape, even that landscape which lies between Pall Mall and
-Piccadilly. It soothed our young man a little in the despair of his
-thoughts. Surely, surely at eight-and-twenty everything could not be
-over. Bee would in a year or two be the mistress of her own actions. She
-was not a meek girl, to be coerced by her father. She would judge for
-herself in such a dreadful emergency. After all that had passed, the
-whole facts of the case would have to be submitted to her, which was a
-thought that enveloped him as in flames of shame. Yet she would judge
-for herself, and her judgment would be more like that of heaven than
-like that of earth. A kind of celestial ray gleamed upon him in this
-thought.
-
-And as for these other claims--well, if any claim were put forth he
-would not shrink--would not try to compromise, would not try to hide
-his shame under piles of gold. Now he had no motive for concealment, he
-would face it out and have the question set straight in the eye of day.
-To be sure, for a man to accuse a woman is against the whole
-conventional code of honour. To accuse all women is the commonplace of
-every day; but to put the blame of seduction upon one is what a man dare
-not do save in the solitude of his chamber--or in such a private
-inquisition as Aubrey had gone through that day. This is one of the
-proofs that there is much to be said on both sides, and that it is the
-unscrupulous of either side who has the most power to humble and to
-destroy. But the bravado did him good for the moment--let her make her
-claim, whatever that claim was, and he would meet it in the face of day!
-
-Other ideas came rapidly into Aubrey’s mind when he strolled listlessly
-into his club, and almost ran against the friend in whose house he had
-first met Colonel Kingsward, and through whom consequently all that had
-afterwards happened had come about. “Fairfield!” he cried, with a gleam
-of sudden hope in his eyes.
-
-“Leigh! You here?--I thought you were philandering on the banks of--some
-German river or other. Well! and so I hear I have to congratulate you,
-my boy--and I’m sure I do so with all my heart----”
-
-You might have done so a week ago, and I should have responded with all
-mine. But you see me fallen again on darker days. Fate’s against me, it
-seems, in every way.”
-
-“Why, what’s the matter?” cried his friend. “I expected to see you
-triumphant. What has gone wrong? Not settlements already, eh?”
-
-“Settlements! They are free to make what settlements they like so far as
-I am concerned.”
-
-“Kingsward’s a very cool hand, Aubrey. You may lose your head if you
-like, but he always knows what he is about. You are an excellent
-match----”
-
-“You think so,” said poor Aubrey, with a laugh. “Not badly off; a mild,
-domestic fellow, with no devil in me at all.
-
-“I should not exactly say that. A man is no man without a spice of the
-devil. Why, what’s the matter? Now I look at you, instead of a
-victorious lover, you have the most miserable hang-dog----”
-
-“Hang-dog, that is it--a rope’s end, and all over. Hang it, no! I am not
-going to give in. Fairfield, I don’t want to speak disrespectfully of
-any woman.”
-
-“Is it Mrs. Kingsward who is too young, herself, to think of enacting
-the part of mother-in-law so soon as this?”
-
-“Mrs. Kingsward is a sort of an angel, Fairfield, if it were not
-old-fashioned to say so--and, alas, I fear, she will not enact any part
-long, which is so much the worse for me.”
-
-“You don’t say so! That pretty creature, with all her pretty ways, and
-her daughter just the same age as she! Poor Kingsward. Aubrey, if a man
-shows a little impatience with your raptures in such circumstances, I
-don’t think you ought to be hard upon him.”
-
-“I don’t believe he knows what are the circumstances, nor any of them.
-It is not from that cause, Fairfield. You know Miss Lance, poor Amy’s
-friend----”
-
-Once more he grew hot all over as he named her name, and turned his face
-from his friend’s gaze.
-
-“Remember her! I should think so, and all you had to bear on that point,
-old man. We have often said, Mary and I, that if ever there was a
-hero----”
-
-“Fairfield! they have got up a tale that it was I who kept her at
-Forest-leigh against poor Amy’s will, and that my poor wife’s life was
-made miserable by my attentions to that fi----.” Fiend he would have
-said, but he changed it to “woman,” which meant to him at that moment
-the same thing.
-
-Fairfield stared for a moment--was he taking a new idea into his
-commonplace mind? Then he burst into a loud laugh. “You can call the
-whole county to bear witness to that,” he cried. “Attentions! Well, I
-suppose you were civil, which was really more than anyone expected from
-you.”
-
-“You know, and everybody knows, what a thorn in the flesh it was. My
-poor Amy! Without that, there would have been no cloud on our life, and
-it all arose from her best qualities, her tender heart, her
-faithfulness----”
-
-A dubious shade came over Fairfield’s face. “Yes, no doubt; and Miss
-Lance’s flattery and blandishments. Aubrey, I don’t mind saying it now
-that you are well quit of her--that was a woman to persuade a fellow
-into anything. I should no more have dared to keep her--especially
-after--in my house, and to expose myself to her wiles----”
-
-“They never were wiles for me,” said Aubrey, again turning his head
-away. It was true, true--far more true than the fatal contradiction of
-it, which lay upon his heart like a stone. “I never came nearer to
-hating any of God’s creatures than that woman. She made my life a burden
-to me. She took my wife from me----. She---- I needn’t get dithyrambic
-on the subject; you all know.”
-
-“Oh, yes, we all know; but you were too soft-hearted. You should have
-risked a fit of tears from poor Mrs. Leigh--excuse me for saying so
-now--and sent her away.”
-
-“I tried it a dozen times. Poor Amy would have broken her heart. She
-threatened even to go with her. And they say women don’t make
-friendships with each other!”
-
-Fairfield shrugged his shoulders a little. “I suffer myself from my
-wife’s friends,” he said; “there’s always some ‘dear Clara’ or other
-putting the table out of joint, making me search heaven and earth when
-there’s anybody to dinner to find an odd man. But Mary has some----”
-Sense, he was going to say, but stopped short. Mrs. Fairfield was one of
-those who had concluded long ago that dear Amy was a little goose, taken
-sad advantage of by her persistent friend.
-
-“Fairfield,” said Aubrey, “you could do me a great service if you would.
-Colonel Kingsward has just told me that he can’t send out a royal
-commission to examine my friends on this subject. You see him sometimes,
-I suppose. I know you belong to one of his clubs. Still more, he’s at
-his office all the morning, and you know him well enough to look in upon
-him there.”
-
-“Well?” said Fairfield, dubiously.
-
-“Couldn’t you stretch a point for my sake, and go--and tell him the real
-state of affairs in respect to Miss Lance, and how untrue it is, how
-ridiculously untrue, that she was kept at Forest-leigh by any will of
-mine? Why, it was a thing, as you have just said, that all the county
-knew! An infatuation--and nothing less than the bane of my whole
-married life.”
-
-“Yes, I know--everybody thought so,” Mr. Fairfield said. That new
-idea--was it perhaps germinating faintly in his mind?--no one had
-thought of any other explanation, but yet----”
-
-“If you were only to say so--only as much as that--that all my friends
-recognised the state of the case.”
-
-“I could say that,” said Fairfield, with hesitation. “Don’t think me
-unfriendly, Aubrey, but it’s a little awkward for a man to interfere in
-another man’s affairs, and it’s not only your affairs that I know so
-well, but you see Kingsward’s too----”
-
-“I am aware of that, Fairfield; still, to break off what I believe in my
-heart would be for his daughter’s happiness too----”
-
-“To be sure there’s the young lady to be taken into consideration,” said
-Fairfield, dubiously.
-
-It will be as well to carry this incident to its completion at once. Mr.
-Fairfield at the last allowed himself to be convinced, and he went that
-afternoon to the club, to which he still belonged by some early
-military experiences, and where Colonel Kingsward was one of those who
-ruled supreme. He knew exactly when to find him at the club, where he
-strolled in after leaving his office, to refresh himself with a cup of
-tea, or something else in its place. The intercessor went up to the
-table at which the Colonel sat with the evening paper, and conversed for
-a little on the topics of the day. After these had been run over, and
-the prospects of war slightly discussed--for Colonel Kingsward had not
-much respect for Mr. Fairfield’s opinion on that subject--the latter
-gentleman said abruptly--
-
-“I say, Kingsward, I am very sorry to hear there is some hitch in the
-marriage which I was so glad to hear of last week.”
-
-“Ah, oh! So Leigh has been with you, I presume?” the Colonel replied.
-
-“Yes; and, upon my life, Colonel, there is not a word of truth in any
-talk you may have heard about that Miss Lance----. We all know quite
-well the whole business. You should hear Mary on the subject. Of course,
-he can’t say to you, poor fellow, that his first wife was a little
-queer, and that that woman made her her slave.”
-
-“No; it wasn’t to be expected that he would tell me that.”
-
-“But it’s true. She got completely the upper hand of that poor little
-thing. The husband had no influence. I believe he hated her--like the
-devil.”
-
-“You think so,” said the Colonel, with a strange smile, “yet it is a
-curious thing that he endured her all the same, and also that a wife
-should insist so in keeping another woman in her husband’s constant
-company--and an attractive woman, as I hear.”
-
-“Oh! a devil of a woman,” cried Fairfield. “I was telling Aubrey I
-should no more have ventured to expose myself to her blandishments----.
-One of those sort of women, you know, that you cannot abide, yet who can
-turn you round their little finger.”
-
-“And what did he say to that?” the Colonel asked, still with that smile.
-
-“Oh, he said she never had any charm for him--and I believe it--for what
-with poor little Mrs. Leigh’s whims and vagaries, and the other’s
-flatteries and adulation and complete empire over her, his life was
-made a burden to him. You should hear Mary on that subject--none of the
-ladies could keep their patience.”
-
-“Yet it appears Mr. Aubrey Leigh kept his---- until he got tired,” said
-the Colonel. “Believe me, Fairfield, when there is such an unnatural
-situation as that, there must be more in it than meets the eye.”
-
-Fairfield, a good, steady soul, who generally had his ideas suggested to
-him, went away very serious from that interview. It was very strange
-indeed that a woman should prefer her friend to her husband, and make
-things wretched for him in order to keep her comfortable--it was very
-curious that with a woman so much superior to Amy in the house, a woman
-of the kind that turn men’s heads, that mild Aubrey Leigh, who was not
-distinguished for force of character, should have never sought a
-moment’s relief with her from poor Mrs. Leigh’s querulousness. Fairfield
-accelerated his departure by an hour or two in order not to meet Aubrey
-again before he had poured those strange doubts and suggestions into his
-own Mary’s ears.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XI.
-
-
-The party of travellers whose progress had hitherto been like that of a
-party of pleasure, who had been interested in everything they saw, and
-hailed every new place with delight, as if that had been the haven of
-all their hopes, travelled home from Cologne in a very different spirit.
-For one thing, it could not be concealed that Mrs. Kingsward was ill,
-which was a thing that she herself and the whole family stoutly, one
-standing by another, had hitherto been able to deny. She had not gone
-far, not an hour’s journey, when she had to abandon her seat by the
-window--where it had always been her delight to “see the country,” and
-point out every village to her children--and lie down upon the temporary
-couch which Moulsey prepared for her with shawls and cushions along one
-side of the carriage. She cried out against herself as “self-indulgent”
-and “lazy,” but she did not resist this arrangement. It effectually took
-any pleasure that there might have been out of the journey: for Bee, as
-may be supposed, though she was not melancholy, and would not admit,
-even to Betty, in the closest confidence, that she was at all afraid of
-the ultimate issue, was certainly self-absorbed, and glad not to be
-called upon to notice the scenery, but allowed to subside into a corner
-with her own thoughts. Charlie was in the opposite corner, exceedingly
-glum, and not conversible. Bee would not speak to him or look at him,
-and even Betty, that little thing, had said, “Oh, Charlie, how could you
-be so nasty to Aubrey?” for her sole salutation that morning. He was not
-sure even that his mother, though he had stood on her side and backed
-her up, was pleased with him for it. She talked to him, it is true,
-occasionally, and made him do little things for her, but rather in the
-way in which a mother singles out the pariah of the family, the one who
-is boycotted for some domestic offence, to show him that all are not
-against him, than in the tone which is used to a champion and defender.
-So it was not wonderful that Charlie was glum; but to see him in one
-corner, biting or trying to bite the few hairs that he called his
-moustache, with his brows bent down to his chin, and his chin sunk in
-the collar of his coat--and Bee in another, very different--indeed, her
-face glorified with dreams, and her eyes full of latent light, ready to
-flash at out any moment--was not cheerful for the others.
-
-Mrs. Kingsward looked at them from one to another, and at little Betty
-between busied in a little book, with that baffled feeling which arises
-in the mind of a delicate woman when the strong individualities and
-wills of her children become first developed before her, after that time
-of their youth when all were guided by her decision, and mamma’s leave
-was asked for everything. How fierce, how self-willed, how determined in
-his opposition Charlie looked like his father, not to be moved by
-anything! And Bee, how possessed by those young hopes of her own, which
-the mother knew would be of no avail against the fiat gone forth against
-her! Mrs. Kingsward knew her husband better than her children did. She
-knew that having taken up his position he would not give in. And Bee,
-with all that light of resistance in her eyes--Bee as little willing to
-give in as he! The invalid trembled when she thought of the clash of
-arms that would resound over her head--of the struggle which would rend
-her cheerful house in two. She did not at all realise that the cheerful
-days of that house were numbered--that soon it would be reduced into its
-elements, as a somewhat clamorous, restless, too energetic brood of
-children, with a father very self-willed, who hitherto had known nothing
-of them but as happy and obedient creatures, whose individual
-determinations concerned games and lessons, and who, so far as the
-conduct of life was affected, were of no particular account. Mrs.
-Kingsward was not yet aware that this was the dolorous prospect before
-her household; she only thought, “How am I to manage them all?” and felt
-her heart fail before Charlie’s ill humour and _parti pris_, and before
-the bright defiance in Bee’s eyes. Poor Aubrey, whom she had learned to
-look upon as one of her own, half a son, and half a brother--poor
-Aubrey, who had gone so wrong, and yet had so many excuses for him, a
-victim rather than a seducer--what was happening to Aubrey this fine
-September morning? It made her heart sick in her bosom as she thought of
-all these newly-raised conflicting powers, and she so little able to
-cope with them. If she did not get strong soon, what would all these
-children do? Charlie would go back to college, and would be out of it.
-He had so strong a will, and was so determined to get on, that little
-harm would happen to him--and besides, he was entirely in accord with
-his father, which was a great matter. But Bee--Bee! It seemed to Mrs.
-Kingsward that it was on the cards that Bee might take matters into her
-own hands, and run away with her lover, if her father would not yield.
-What else was there for these young creatures? Mrs. Kingsward knew that
-she herself would have done so in the circumstances had _her_ lover
-insisted; and she knew that he would no more have consented to such a
-sentence--never, never!--than he had done to anything he disliked all
-his life. And Bee was like him, though she had never hitherto been
-anything but an obedient child. Mrs. Kingsward could not help picturing
-to herself, as she lay there, the elopement--Bee’s room found empty in
-the morning, the note left on the table, the so easy, so certain
-explanation, which already she felt herself to be reading. And then her
-husband’s wrath, his unalterable verdict on the criminal “never to enter
-this house again!” Poor mother! She foresaw, as we all do, tortures for
-herself, which she was never to be called upon to bear.
-
-As for Betty, it was the most tiresome journey in all her little
-experiences. A long journey was generally fun to Betty. The scuffle of
-getting away, of seeing that all the little packets were right, of
-abusing Moulsey for hiding away the luncheon basket under the rugs and
-the books in some locked bag, the trouble of securing a compartment,
-arranging umbrellas and other things in the vacant seats to make believe
-that every place was full, the watch at every station to prevent the
-intrusion of strangers, the running from one side to another to see the
-pretty village or old castle, or the funny people at the country
-stations and the queer names--the luncheon in the middle of the day,
-which was as good as a pic-nic--all these things much diverted Betty,
-who loved the rapid movement through the air, and to feel the wind on
-her face; but none of these delights were to be had to-day. She was in
-one of the middle places, between Charlie, so glum and in a temper, and
-Bee, lost in her own thoughts and without a word to say, and opposite to
-mamma, who was so much more serious than usual, giving little Betty a
-smile from time to time, but not able to speak loud enough to be heard
-through the din of the train. She tried to read her book but it was not
-a very interesting book, and it was short too, and evidently would not
-last out half the journey. Betty was the only member of the party who
-had a free mind. The commotion of the romance between Bee and Aubrey had
-been pure amusement to her. It would be a bore if it did not end in a
-speedy marriage, with all the excitement of the presents, the
-trousseau, the dresses (especially the bridesmaids’ dresses), the
-wedding day itself, the increased dignity of Betty as Miss Kingsward,
-the pleasure of talking of “my married sister,” the pleasure of visiting
-Bee, in her own house, and sharing all her grandeur as a county lady. To
-miss all this would be a real trial, but Betty had confidence in the
-fitness of things, and felt it was impossible that she should miss all
-this. And she was at ease in her little mind, and the present dreariness
-of this unamusing, unattractive journey hung all the more heavy upon her
-consciousness now.
-
-They arrived next day, having slept at Brussels to break the journey for
-Mrs. Kingsward, and the Colonel met them, as in duty bound, at Victoria.
-He gave Charlie his hand, and allowed Bee and Betty to kiss him, but his
-whole attention, as was natural, was for his wife.
-
-“You look dreadfully tired,” he said, with that half-tone of offence in
-which a man shows his disappointment at the aspect of an invalid. “You
-must have been worried on the journey to look so tired.”
-
-“Oh, no, I have not been at all worried on the journey--they have all
-been so good, sparing me every fatigue; but it is a tiresome long way,
-Edward, you know.”
-
-“Yes, of course, I know: but I never saw you look so tired before.” He
-cast a reproachful look round upon the young people, who were all ready
-to stand on the defensive. “You must have bothered your mother to
-death,” he said. “I am sorry I did not come out for her myself--undoing
-all the effect of her cure.”
-
-“Oh, you will see, I shall be all right when I get home,” Mrs. Kingsward
-said, cheerfully. “As for the children, Edward, they have all been as
-good as gold.”
-
-“You had better see to the luggage and bring your sisters home in a cab.
-I can’t let mamma hang about here,” said the Colonel, in his peremptory
-way. “Moulsey will come with us. I suppose you three have brains enough
-to manage by yourselves?”
-
-Thus insulting his grown-up children, among whom a flame of indignation
-lighted up, partially burning away their difficulties between
-themselves, Colonel Kingsward half carried his wife to the carriage. “I
-thought at first I should have waited at Kingswarden till you came back.
-I am glad I changed my mind and came back to Harley Street,” he said.
-
-“Oh, is it to Harley Street we are going?” said Mrs. Kingsward, faintly.
-“I had rather hoped for the country, Edward.”
-
-“You don’t look much like another twenty miles of a journey,” said her
-husband.
-
-“Well, perhaps not. I own I shall be glad to be quiet,” the poor lady
-said. What he wished had always turned out after a moment to be just
-what his wife wished for all the years of their union. She even meekly
-accepted the fact that the children--the nursery children, as they were
-called--the little ones, who were no trouble but only a refreshment and
-delight, would have been too much for her that first night. Secretly,
-she had been looking forward to the touch and sight of her placid
-smiling baby as the one thing that would do her good--and all those
-large wet kisses of Johnny and Tommy and Lucy and little Margaret, and
-the burst of delighted voices at the sight of mamma. “Yes, I believe it
-would have been too much for me,” she said, with a look aside at
-Moulsey, who, as on many a previous occasion, would dearly have loved to
-box her master’s ears. “And I _do_ believe it would have been too much
-for me,” Mrs. Kingsward added, when that confidential attendant put her
-to bed.
-
-“Perhaps it would, ma’am,” Moulsey said. “They would have made a noise,
-bless them--and baby will not go to anyone when he sees me--and
-altogether I shall be more fit for them, Moulsey, after a good night’s
-rest----”
-
-“If you get that, you poor dear,” said Moulsey, under her breath. But
-her mistress did not hear that remark any more than many others which
-Moulsey made in her own mind, always addressed to that mistress whom she
-loved. “If he said dying would be good for you, you would say you were
-sure of it, and that was what you wanted most,” the maid said within
-herself.
-
-It must not, however, be supposed from this that Colonel Kingsward was
-not a good husband. He had always been like a lover, though a somewhat
-peremptory one, to his wife. And without him her young, gay,
-pleasure-loving ways, her love of life and amusement might have made her
-a much less successful personage, and not the example of every virtue
-that she was. Had Mrs. Kingsward had the upper hand, the family would
-have been a very different family, and its career probably a very
-broken, tumultuous, happy-go-lucky career. It was that strong hand which
-had controlled and guided her, which had been, as people say, the making
-of Mrs. Kingsward; and though she feared his severity in the present
-crisis, she yet felt the most unspeakable relief from the baffled,
-helpless condition in which she had looked at her children, feeling
-herself all unable to cope with them in the presence of papa.
-
-“I wonder if he thinks we are cabbages,” was Bee’s indignant exclamation
-as he turned his back upon them.
-
-“Apparently,” said Charlie, coming a little out of his sullenness. “Look
-here, you girls, get into this omnibus--happily we’ve got an
-omnibus--with the little things, while I go to the Custom House to get
-the luggage through.”
-
-“Betty, you get in,” said Bee. “I will go with you, Charlie, for I have
-got mamma’s keys.”
-
-“Can’t you give them to me?” Charlie cast a gloomy look about, thinking
-that Leigh might perhaps be somewhere awaiting a word, a thought which
-now for the first time traversed Bee’s mind, too.
-
-“Then, Betty, you had better go with him, for he doesn’t know half the
-boxes,” she said.
-
-“Oh, you can come yourself if you like,” said Charlie, feeling in that
-case that this was the safest arrangement after all.
-
-“No, Betty had better go. Betty, you know Moulsey’s box and that new
-basket that mamma brought me before we left the Baths.”
-
-“Come along yourself, quick, Bee.”
-
-“No, I shall stop in the omnibus.”
-
-“When you have made up your minds,” cried Betty, who had slipped out of
-the vehicle at the first word. Betty thought it would be more fun to go
-through the Custom House than to wait all the time cooped up here.
-
-And Bee had her reward; for Aubrey was there, waiting at a distance
-till the matter was settled. “I should have risked everything and come,
-even if the penalty had been a quarrel with Charlie,” Aubrey said, “but
-I must not quarrel with anyone if I can help it. We shall have hard work
-enough without that.”
-
-“You have seen papa?”
-
-“Yes, I have seen him: but I have not done myself much good, I fear,”
-said Aubrey, shaking his head. “Bee, you won’t give me up whatever they
-may say?”
-
-“Give you up? Never, Aubrey, till you give me up!”
-
-“Then all is safe, my darling. However things look now they can’t hold
-out for ever. Lies must be found out, and then--in time--you will be
-able to act for yourself.”
-
-“Do you think papa will stand to it like that, Aubrey?”
-
-Aubrey shook his head. He did not make any reply.
-
-“Tell me. Is it a lie?” she said.
-
-He bent down his head upon her hand, kissing it.
-
-“Not all,” he said, in an almost inaudible voice. “ I said that--at
-Cologne----”
-
-“I did not understand,” said Bee. “No; it does not matter to me,
-Aubrey--not so very much; but if you promised----”
-
-“I never promised--never! My only thought was to escape----”
-
-“Then I can’t think what you have done wrong. Aubrey, is she tall, with
-dark hair, and beautiful dark eyes, and a way of looking at you as if
-she would look you through and through?”
-
-“Bee!” he said, gripping her fast, as if someone had been about to decoy
-her away.
-
-“And a mouth,” said Bee, “that is very pretty, but looks as if it were
-cut out of steel? Then, I have seen her. She sat down by me one day in
-the wood, when I was doing that sketch, and gave me such clever hints,
-telling me how to finish it, till she made me hate it, don’t you know.
-Is she horribly clever, and a good artist? and like that----”
-
-“Bee! What did that woman say to you?”
-
-“Nothing very much. Asked me about the people at the hotel, and if there
-were any Leighs--not you, she pretended, but the Leighs of Hurst-leigh,
-whom she knew. I thought it very strange at the time why she should ask
-about the Leighs without knowing anything--and then I forgot all about
-it. But to-day it came back to my mind, and I have been thinking of
-nothing else. Aubrey--she is older than you are?”
-
-“Yes,” he said.
-
-“And she made you promise to marry her?” said Bee, half unconscious yet
-half conscious of that wile of the cross-examiner, coming back to the
-point suddenly.
-
-“Never, Bee, never for one moment in my misery! That I should have to
-make such a confession to you!--but there was no promise nor thought of
-a promise. I desired nothing--nothing but to escape from her. You don’t
-doubt my word, Bee?”
-
-“No; I don’t doubt anything you say. But I think she is a dreadful woman
-to get anybody in her power, Aubrey. My little drawing was for you. It
-was the place we first met, and she told me how to do it and make it
-look so much better. I am not very clever at it, you know; and then I
-hated the very sight of it, and tore it in two. I don’t know why.”
-
-“I understand why. Bee, you will be faithful to me, whatever you are
-told?”
-
-“Till I die, Aubrey.”
-
-“And never, never believe that for a moment my heart will change from
-you.”
-
-“Not till I hear it from yourself,” she said, with a woeful smile. The
-despair in him communicated itself to her, who had not been despairing
-at all.
-
-“Which will never be--and when you are your own mistress, my
-darling----”
-
-“Oh, we shan’t have to wait for that!” she cried, with a burst of her
-native energy. “Dear Aubrey, they are coming back; you must go away.”
-
-“Till we meet again, darling?”
-
-“Till we meet again!”
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XII.
-
-
-Bee stole into her mother’s room as she went upstairs before that first
-dinner at home which used to be such a joyous meal. How they had all
-enjoyed it--until now. The ease and space, the going from room to room,
-the delight in finding everything with which they were familiar, the
-flowers in the vases (never were any such flowers as those at home!),
-the incursions of the little ones shouting to each other, “Mamma’s come
-home!” Even the little air of disorder which all these interruptions
-brought into the orderly house was delightful to the young people. They
-looked forward as to an ideal life, to beginning all their usual
-occupations again and doing them all better than ever. “Oh, how nice it
-is to be at home!” the girls had said to each other. Instead of those
-hotel rooms, which at their best are never more than hotel rooms, a
-_genre_ not to be mistaken, how delightful was the drawing-room at home,
-with all its corners--Bee’s little table where she muddled at her
-drawings, mamma’s great basket of needlework where everything could be
-thrown under charitable cover, Betty’s stool on which she sat at the
-feet of her oracle of the moment, whoever that might be, and all the
-little duties to be resumed--the evening papers arranged for papa (as if
-he had not seen enough of them in the daytime in his office!), the
-flowers to see after, the little notes to write, all the pleasant
-common-places of the home life. But to-night, for the first time, dinner
-was a silent meal, hurried over--not much better than a dinner at a
-railway station, with a sensation in it of being still on the road, of
-not having yet reached their destination. The drawing-room was in brown
-holland still, for they were all going on to Kingswarden to-morrow. The
-house felt formal, uninhabited, as if they had come home to lodgings.
-All this was bad enough; but the primary trouble of all was the fact
-that mamma was upstairs--gone to bed before dinner, too tired to sit up.
-Such a thing had never happened before. However tired she was, she had
-always so brightened up at the sensation of coming home.
-
-And papa, though kind, was very grave. The happiness of getting his
-family back did not show in his face and all his actions as it generally
-did. Colonel Kingsward was very kind as a father, and very tender as a
-husband; the severity of his character showed little at home. His wife
-was aware of it, and so were the servants, and Charlie, I think, had
-begun to suspect what a hand of iron was covered by that velvet glove.
-But the girls had never had any occasion to fear their father. Bee
-thought that the additional gravity of his behaviour was owing to
-herself and her introduction of a new individual interest into the
-family; so that, notwithstanding a touch of indignation, with which she
-felt the difference, she was timid and not without a sense of guilt
-before her father. Never had she been rebellious or disobedient before;
-and she was both now, determined not to submit. This made her
-self-conscious and rather silent; she who was always overflowing with
-talk and fun and the story of their travels. Colonel Kingsward did not
-ask many questions about that. What he did ask was all about “your
-mother.”
-
-“She is not looking so well as when she went away,” he said.
-
-“Oh, papa, it’s only because she’s so tired,” cried little Betty. Betty
-taking upon her to answer papa, to take the responsibility upon her
-little shoulders! But Bee felt as if she could not say anything.
-
-“Do you really think so?” he said, turning to that confident little
-speaker--to Betty. As if Betty could know anything about it! But Bee
-seemed paralysed and could not speak.
-
-She stole, as I have said, into her mother’s room on her way upstairs,
-but she had hardly time to say a word when papa came in to see if Mrs.
-Kingsward had eaten anything, and how she felt now that she was
-comfortably established in her own bed. It irritated Bee to feel herself
-thus deprived of the one little bit of possible expansion, and stirred
-her spirit. With her cheek to her mother’s, she said in her ear, “Mamma,
-I saw Aubrey at the station,” with a thrill of pleasure and defiance in
-saying that, though secretly, in her father’s presence.
-
-“Oh, Bee!” said Mrs. Kingsward, with a faint cry of alarm.
-
-“And he told me,” continued Bee, breathless in her whisper, “that papa
-was firm against us.”
-
-“Bee! Bee!”
-
-“And we promised each other we should never, never give up, whatever
-anyone might say.”
-
-“Oh, child, how dare you, how dare you?” Mrs. Kingsward said.
-
-How Bee’s heart beat! What an enlivening, inspiriting strain of
-opposition came into her mind, making her cheeks glow and her eyes
-flame! The whisper was, perhaps, a child’s device, perhaps a woman’s
-weakness, but it exhilarated her beyond description to say all this in
-the very presence of her father. There was a sensation of girlish
-mischief in it as well as defiance, which relieved all the heavier
-sentiments that had weighed down her heart.
-
-“What are you saying to your mother, Bee? She must not be disturbed. Run
-away and let her rest. If we are to go back to Kingswarden to-morrow she
-must get all the rest that is possible now.”
-
-“I was never the one to disturb mamma,” said Bee, bestowing another kiss
-on her mother’s cheek.
-
-“Oh, be a good child, Bee!” pleaded Mrs. Kingsward, almost without
-sound; for by this time the Colonel was hovering over the bed, with a
-touch of suspicion, wondering what was going on between these two.
-
-“Yes, mamma dear, always,” said Bee, aloud.
-
-“What is she promising, Lucy? And what were you saying to her? Bee
-should know better at her age than to disturb you with talk.”
-
-“Oh, nothing, Edward. She was only giving me a kiss, and I told her to
-be a good child--as I am always doing; thinking to be heard, you know,
-for so much speaking,” the mother said, with a soft laugh.
-
-“Bee has always been a sufficiently good child. I don’t think you need
-trouble yourself on that point. The thing is for you to get well, my
-dear, and keep an easy mind. Don’t trouble about anything; leave all
-that to me, and try and think a little about yourself.”
-
-“I always do, Edward,” she said with a smile.
-
-He shook his head, but agitation had brought a colour to her cheeks, and
-to persuade one’s-self that it is only fatigue that makes a beloved face
-look pale is so easy at first, before any grave alarm has been roused.
-Yet, Colonel Kingsward’s mind was not an easy one that night. He was _au
-fond_, a severe man, very rigid as to what he thought his duty, taking
-life seriously on the whole. His young wife, who loved pleasure, had
-made him far more a man of society than was natural or indeed pleasing
-to him; but he had thus got into that current which it is so difficult
-to get out of without a too stern withdrawal, and his large young family
-had warmed his heart and dressed his aspect in many smiles and graces
-which did not belong to him by nature. The mixture of the rigid and the
-yielding had produced nothing but good effects upon his character till
-now. But there is no telling what a man is till the first conflict of
-wills arises in his own household. Hitherto there had been nothing of
-the kind. His children had amused him and pleased him and made him
-proud. Their health, their prettiness, their infantile gaiety and
-delight in every favour accorded to them had been all so many tributes
-to his own supreme influence and power. Their very health was a standing
-compliment to his own health and vigour, from whom they took their
-excellent constitutions, and to the wonderful care and attention to
-every law of health which he enforced in his house. Not a drain escaped
-trapping, not a gas was left undisposed of where Colonel Kingsward was.
-He had every new suggestion in his nursery that sanitary science could
-bring up. “And look at the result!” he was in the habit of saying. Not a
-pale face, not a headache, not an invalid member there. And among the
-children he was as the sun in his splendour. Every delight rayed out
-from him. The hour of his coming home was watched for; it was the
-greatest treat for the little boys to go in the dogcart with Simmons,
-the groom, to fetch papa from the station, while the others assembled at
-the door as at a daily celebration to see him arrive. Charlie was now a
-man grown, but he was a good boy, full of all right impulses, and there
-had never been any difficulty with him.
-
-Thus Colonel Kingsward had been kept from all knowledge of those
-contrarieties of nature which appear even in the most favoured regions.
-He was of opinion that he surrounded his wife with every care, bore
-everything for her, did not suffer the winds of heaven to visit her
-cheek too roughly. And it was true. But he was not at all aware that she
-saved him anything, or that his joyful omnipotence and security from
-every fret and all opposition depended upon her more than on anything
-else in the world. He did not know the little inevitable jars which she
-smoothed away, the youthful wills growing into individuality which she
-kept in check. Which was a pity, for the strong man was thus deprived of
-the graces of precaution, and knew no more than the merest weakling
-what, as his children grow into men and women, every man has to face and
-provide against. If Colonel Kingsward was too arbitrary, too trenchant
-in his measures, too certain that there was no will but his own to be
-taken into account, the blame must thus be partially laid upon those
-natural fictions of boundless love and duty and sweet affectionate
-submission, which grow up in the nursery and reign as long as childhood
-lasts--until a more potent force of self or will or love, comes in to
-put the gentle dream to flight.
-
-It was thus that Colonel Kingsward considered the matter about Bee. It
-had been, of course, necessary to cross Bee two or three times in her
-life before. It had been necessary, or at least he had thought it
-necessary, to send her to school; it had been thought expedient to keep
-her back a year longer than she wished from appearing in the world.
-These decisions had cost tears and a little struggle, but in a few days
-Bee had forgotten all about them--or so, at least, her father thought.
-And a lover--at nineteen--what was that but another plaything, a
-novelty, a compliment, such as girls love? How could it mean anything
-more serious? Why, Bee was a child--a little girl, an ornamental adjunct
-to her mother, a sort of reflection, not to be detached for a long time
-from that source of all that was delightful in her. Colonel Kingsward
-had felt with a delighted surprise that the child and the mother did
-“throw up” each other when he began to go out with them together. Bee’s
-young beauty showing what mamma’s had been, and Mrs. Kingsward’s beauty
-(so much higher and sweeter than any girl’s wild-rose bloom could be)
-showing what in the after days her child would grow to. To cut these two
-asunder for a stranger--another man, an intruding personality thrusting
-himself between the child and her natural allegiance--was oppressive in
-any shape. At the first word, indeed, and in the amusement furnished him
-by the letters that had been poured upon him, Colonel Kingsward’s
-consent had been given almost without thought. Aubrey Leigh was a good
-match, he had a fine place, a valuable estate, and was well spoken of
-among men. If Lucy was so absurd as to wish her daughter to marry; if
-Bee, the silly child, was so foolish as to think of leaving her father’s
-house for another, that was probably as good a one as she could have
-chosen. I don’t know if fathers generally feel it a sort of desecration
-when their young daughters marry. Some fathers do, and some brothers, as
-if the creature pure by nature from all such thoughts were descending to
-a lower place, and becoming such an one as themselves. Colonel Kingsward
-was not, perhaps, visionary enough for such a view, yet he was slightly
-shocked in his sentiment about the perfection of his own house by this
-idea on his child’s part of leaving it for another. However, it was true
-he had a very large family, and to provide so well for one of them at
-the very outset of her career was a thing which was not to be despised.
-
-But when the second chapter of this romance, all so simple, so natural
-in its first phase, opened out, and there appeared a dark passage
-behind--a woman wronged who had a claim upon the man, a story, a
-scandal--whether it were true or untrue!--Colonel Kingsward, in his
-knowledge of the world, knew that it did not so much matter whether a
-story was true or untrue. It stuck, anyhow; and years, generations
-after, when, if false, it had been contradicted and exploded, and
-acknowledged to be false, people still would shake their heads and say,
-“Wasn’t there some story?” For this reason he was not very rigid about
-the facts, part of which, at least, the culprit admitted. There was a
-woman and there was a story, and all the explanations in the world could
-not do away with these. What did it matter about the man? He, Colonel
-Kingsward, was not Aubrey Leigh’s keeper. And as for Bee, there would be
-some tears, no doubt, as when she was sent to school--a little passion
-of disappointment, as when she was kept back for a whole year, from
-seventeen to eighteen, in her “coming out”--but the tears and the
-passion once over, things would go on the same as before. The little
-girl would go back to her place, and all would be well.
-
-This was the man’s delusion, and perhaps it was a natural one, and he
-was conscious of wishing to do the best thing for her, of saving her
-from the after tortures which a wife has to endure whose husband has
-proclivities towards strange women, and capabilities of being “led
-away.” That was a risk that he could understand much better than she
-could, at her age. The fellow might be proud of her, small blame to
-him--he might strive to escape from disgraceful entanglements by such an
-exceptionable connection as that of Colonel Kingsward, of Kingswarden,
-Harley Street, and the Intelligence Department; he might be very much in
-earnest and all that. He did not altogether blame the man; indeed, he
-was willing enough to allow that he was not a bad fellow, and that he
-was popular among his friends.
-
-But these were not enough in the case of a girl like Bee. And it was
-certainly for her good that her father was acting. She had known the man
-a month, what could he be to her in so short a time? This is the most
-natural of questions, constantly asked, and never finding any sufficient
-answer. Why should a girl in three or four weeks be so changed in all
-her thoughts as to be ready to give up her father’s house, the place in
-which she has all her associations, the company in which she has been
-so happy, and go away to the end of the world, perhaps with a man whom
-she has known only for a month? It is the commonest thing in the world,
-but also the most mysterious, and Colonel Kingsward refused to believe
-in it, as so many other fathers have done. Bee would cry, and her mother
-would console her. She would fly into a childish passion, and struggle
-against her fate--for a few days. She would swear that she would never,
-never give up that new plaything, and the joy of parading it before the
-other girls, who perhaps had not such toys to play with--but all that
-nonsense would give way in a little to firm guidance and considerate
-care, and the fresh course of amusement and pleasure which the winter
-would bring.
-
-The winter is by no means barren to those who spend it habitually in
-town. It has many distractions. There is the theatre, there are
-Christmas gatherings without number, there are new dresses also to be
-got for the same, perhaps a pretty new bonnet or two thrown in by a
-penitent father, very sorry even in his own interests to give his
-little girl pain. If all these pleasant things could not make up for the
-loss of a man--of doubtful character, too--whom she had only known for a
-month, Colonel Kingsward felt that it would be a strange thing indeed,
-and altogether beyond his power to explain.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIII.
-
-
-It was not possible, however, to remove Mrs. Kingsward to Kingswarden
-next day. She was too much fatigued even to leave her bed, and the
-doctor who came to see her, her own familiar doctor who had sent her to
-Germany to the celebrated bath, looked a little grave when he saw the
-condition in which she had come home. “No fatigue, no excitement,” was
-what he enjoined. She was to have nothing to excite, nothing to disturb
-her--to go to the country? Oh, yes, but not for some days. To see the
-children? Certainly, the children could not be kept from their mother;
-but all in moderation, with great judgment, not too long at a time, not
-too often. And above all she must not be worried. Nothing must be done,
-nothing said to cross or vex her. When he heard from the Colonel a very
-brief and studiously subdued version of a little family business which
-had disturbed her--“I need not keep any secrets from you, doctor. The
-fact is that someone wanted to marry my girl Bee, and that I made some
-discoveries about him which obliged me to withdraw my consent.” The
-doctor formed his lips into a whistle, to which he did not give vent.
-“That accounts for it,” he said.
-
-“That accounts for--what?” cried Colonel Kingsward, not without
-irritation.
-
-“For the state in which I find her. And mind my words, Kingsward, you’d
-better let your girl marry anybody that isn’t a blackguard than risk
-that sort of shock with your wife. Never forget that her life---- I mean
-to say that she’s very delicate. Don’t let her be worried--stretch a
-point--have things done as she wishes. You will find it pay best in the
-end.”
-
-“For once you are talking nonsense, my dear fellow,” said Colonel
-Kingsward; “my wife is not a woman who has ever been set upon having her
-own way.”
-
-“Let her have it this time,” said the doctor, “and you’ll never repent
-it. If she wants Bee to marry, let her marry. Bee is a dear little
-thing, but her mother, Kingsward, her mother--is of far more consequence
-to you than even she--”
-
-“That is a matter of course,” said Colonel Kingsward. “Lucy is of more
-importance to me than all the world beside; but neither must I neglect
-the interests of my child.”
-
-“Oh, bother the child,” cried the doctor, “let her have her lover; the
-mother is what you must think of now.”
-
-“You seem tremendously in earnest, Southwood.”
-
-“So I am--tremendously in earnest. And don’t you work your mind on the
-subject, but do what I say.”
-
-“Do you mean to say that my wife is in a--state of danger?”
-
-“I mean that she must be kept from worry--she must not be
-contradicted--things must not be allowed to go contrary to her wishes.
-Poor little Bee! I don’t say you are to let her marry a blackguard. But
-don’t worry her mother about it--that is the chief thing I’ve got to
-say.”
-
-“No, I shan’t worry her mother about it,” said the Colonel, shutting his
-mouth closely as if he were locking it up. When Dr. Southwood was gone,
-however, he stopped the two girls who were lingering about to know the
-doctor’s opinion, and detaching Betty’s arm from about Bee’s waist drew
-his eldest daughter into his study and shut the door. “I want to speak
-to you, Bee,” he said.
-
-“Yes, papa.” In this call to her alone to receive some communication,
-Bee, as may be imagined, jumped to a conclusion quite different from
-what her father intended, and almost for the moment forgot mamma.
-
-“The doctor tells me that above everything your mother must be kept from
-worry. Do you understand? In the circumstances it is extremely important
-that you should know this.”
-
-“Papa,” she cried, half in indignation half in disappointment, “do you
-think that I would worry her--in any circumstances?”
-
-“I think that girls of your age often think that no affairs are so
-important as your own, and it is very likely that you may be of that
-opinion, and I wish you to know what the doctor says.”
-
-“Is mamma--very ill?” Bee asked, bewildered.
-
-“He does not say so--only that she is not to be fretted or contradicted,
-or disturbed about anything. I feel it necessary to warn you, Bee.”
-
-“Why me above the rest?” she cried. “Am I likely to be the one to worry
-mamma?”
-
-“The others have no particular affairs of their own to worry her with.
-There must be no private talks, no discussions, no endeavours to get her
-upon what you may suppose to be your side.”
-
-Bee gave her father a glance of fire, but she felt that a little
-prudence was necessary, and kept the tumult of feeling which was within
-her as much as possible in her own breast. “I have always talked to
-mamma of everything that was in my mind,” she said, piteously. “I don’t
-know how I am to stop. She would wonder so if I stopped talking; and how
-can I talk to her except of things that are in my mind?”
-
-“You must learn,” said the Colonel, “to think of her more than of
-yourself.” He did not at all mean to prescribe to her a course of
-conduct more elevated than that he meant to pursue himself, but then it
-was only in action that he meant to carry out his purposes, he was not
-afraid of committing himself in speech.
-
-Bee looked at him again with a gaze that asked a great many questions,
-but she only answered, “I will try my very best, papa.”
-
-“If you do, I am sure you will succeed, my dear,” he said, in a gentler
-tone.
-
-“Is that all?” she asked, hesitating.
-
-“That is all I want with you just now.”
-
-Bee turned away towards the door, and then she paused and made a step
-back.
-
-“Papa!”
-
-“Yes, Bee.”
-
-“Would you mind telling me--I will not say a word to her--but oh, please
-tell me--”
-
-“What is it?” said the Colonel. He went to his writing table, and
-sitting down began to turn over his papers. His tone was slightly
-impatient, his eyebrows slightly raised, as if in surprise.
-
-“Papa, you must know what it is. I know that you have seen--Mr. Leigh!”
-
-“How do you know anything about it? What have you to do with whom I have
-seen? Run away. I do not mean to enter into any explanations on this
-subject with you.”
-
-“Then with whom will you enter into explanations? You cannot speak to
-mamma; she must not be worried. Papa, I am not a little girl now, to be
-told to run away.”
-
-“You seem to be determined not to lose a moment in telling me so.”
-
-“I should not have told you so,” said Bee, looking at him over the high
-back of his writing-table, “if you had not told me I was not to talk to
-mamma.”
-
-He looked up at her, and their eyes met; both of them keenly, fiercely
-blue, lit up with fires of combat. It is often imagined that blue eyes
-are the softest eyes--but not by those who are acquainted with the kind
-which belonged to the Kingswards, which might have been called
-sapphires, if sapphires ever flash and cut the air as diamonds do. They
-were not either so dark as sapphires--they were like nothing but
-themselves, two pairs of blue eyes that might have been made to order,
-so like were they to each other, and both blazing across that table as
-if they would have set the house on fire.
-
-“That’s an excellent point,” he said. “I can’t deny it. What made you so
-terrifically clever all at once?”
-
-There is nothing more stinging than to be called clever in the midst of
-a discussion. Bee’s eyes seemed to set fire to her face, at least, which
-flashed crimson upon her father’s startled sight.
-
-“When one has someone else to think of, someone’s interests to take care
-of----”
-
-“Which are your own interests--and vastly more important than anything
-which concerns your father and mother.”
-
-“I never said so--nor thought so, papa--but if they are different from
-yours, that’s no reason,” said Bee, bold in words but faltering in
-manner, “is it, why I should not think of them, if, as you say, they’re
-my own interests, papa?”
-
-“You are very bold, Bee.”
-
-“What am I to do if I have no one to speak for me? Papa, Aubrey----”
-
-“I forbid you to speak with such familiarity of a man whom you have
-nothing to do with, and whom you scarcely know.”
-
-“Papa, Aubrey--” cried Bee, with astonishment.
-
-Colonel Kingsward jumped up from his table in a fury of impatience. “How
-dare you come and besiege me here in my own room with your Aubrey?--a
-man whom you have not known a month; a stranger to the family.”
-
-“Papa, you must let me speak. You allowed me to be engaged to him. If
-you had said ‘no’ at first, there might, perhaps, have been some reason
-in it.”
-
-“Perhaps--some reason!” he repeated, with an angry laugh.
-
-“Yes, for even then it was not your own happiness that was in question.
-It was I, after all, that was to marry him.”
-
-“And you think that is a reason for defying me?”
-
-“It is always said to be a reason--not for defying anybody--but for
-standing up for what you call my own interests, papa--when they are
-somebody else’s interests as well. You said we might be engaged--and we
-were. And how can I let anyone, even you, say he is a stranger? He is my
-_fiancé_. He is betrothed to me. We belong to each other. Whatever
-anyone may say, that is the fact,” cried Bee, very rapidly, to get it
-all out before she was interrupted.
-
-“It is not at all a cheerful or pleasant fact--if it changes my little
-Bee, whom I thought I knew, to this flushed and brazen woman, fighting
-for her----. Go, child, and don’t make an exhibition of yourself. Your
-mother’s daughter! It is not credible--to assault me, your father, in my
-own room, for the sake of----”
-
-“Papa! don’t you remember that it is said in the Bible you are not to
-provoke your children to wrath? Mamma would have stood up for you, I
-suppose, when she was engaged to you. I may be flushed,” cried Bee,
-putting her hands to her blazing cheeks, “how could I help it? Forced to
-talk to you, to ask you--on a subject that gives you a right to speak to
-me, your own child, like that----”
-
-“I am glad you think I have a right to speak as the circumstances demand
-to my own child,” said the Colonel, cooling down; “but why you should
-be forced, as you say, to take up such an unbecoming and unwomanly
-position is beyond my guessing.”
-
-“It is because I have no longer mamma to speak for me,” Bee said.
-
-The creature was not without skill. Now she came back to the point that
-was not to be gainsaid.
-
-“We have had quite enough of this,” Colonel Kingsward replied. “Your
-mother, as you are quite aware, never set up her will against mine. She
-was aware, if you are not, that I knew the world better than she did,
-and was more competent to decide. Your mother would never have stood up
-to me as you have done.”
-
-“It would have been better, perhaps, sometimes, if she had,” cried Bee,
-carried away by the tide of her excitement. Colonel Kingsward was so
-astounded that he had scarcely power to be angry. He gazed at his
-excited child with a surprise that was beyond words.
-
-“Oh, papa, papa! Forgive me! I never meant that; it came out before I
-was aware.”
-
-“The thought must have been there or it could not have come out,” he
-said.
-
-“Oh, no; there was no thought there. It may be so with you, but not with
-us, papa. Words come into our mouths. We don’t think them; we don’t mean
-to say--they only seem to--hook on to--something that went before; and
-then they come out with a crash. Oh, forgive me, forgive me, papa!”
-
-“I suppose,” he said, with a half laugh, “that may be taken as a woman’s
-exposition of her own style of argument.”
-
-“Don’t call me a woman,” she said, with her soft small voice, aggrieved
-and wounded, drawing closer to him. “Oh, papa! I am only your little
-girl after all.”
-
-“A naughty little girl,” he said, shaking his head.
-
-“And without mamma to speak for me,” added Bee.
-
-The Colonel laughed aloud. “You wily little natural lawyer!” he said;
-but immediately became very grave, for underneath this burst of half
-angry amusement Bee had given him a shock she did not know of. All
-unaware of the edge of the weapons which she used with a certain
-instinctive deftness, it did not occur to her that these words of hers
-might penetrate not only deeper than she thought, but far deeper than
-her own thoughts had ever gone. His wife’s worn face seemed suddenly to
-appear before Colonel Kingsward’s eyes in a light which he had never
-seen before, and the argument which this child used so keenly, yet so
-ignorantly, pierced him like a knife. “Without mamma to speak for me!”
-These words sounded very simple to Bee, a mischievous expedient to trap
-him in the snare he had laid for her. But if the time should ever come
-when they should be true! The Colonel was struck down by that arrow
-flown at a venture. He went back to his table subdued, and sat down
-there. “That will do,” he said, “that will do. Now run away and leave me
-to my work, Bee.”
-
-She came up to him and gave him a timid kiss, which the Colonel accepted
-quietly in the softening of that thought. She roamed about the table a
-little, flicking off an imperceptible speck of dust with her
-handkerchief, arranging some books upon the upper shelf of his bureau,
-sometimes looking at him over that row of books, sometimes lingering
-behind him as if doing something there. He did not interfere with her
-movements for a few minutes, in the _attendrissement_ of his thoughts.
-Without a mother to speak for her! Poor little girl, if that should ever
-be so! Poor little children unconscious in their nursery crying for
-mamma; and, oh, worse than all, himself without his Lucy, who had made
-all the world sweet to him! He was a masterfull man, who would stand to
-his arms in any circumstances, who would not give in even if his heart
-was broken; but what a strange, dull, gloomy world it would be to him if
-the children had no mother to speak for them! He made a sudden effort to
-shake off that thought, and the first thing that recalled him to himself
-was to hear Bee, having no other mischief, he supposed, to turn her hand
-to, heaping coals upon the little bit of fire which had been lighted for
-cheerfulness only.
-
-“Bee,” he cried, “are you still there? What are you doing? The room is
-like an oven already, and you are making up a sort of Christmas fire.”
-
-“Oh, I am so sorry--I forgot,” cried Bee, putting down the shovel
-hastily. “I thought it wanted mending--for you always like a good fire.”
-
-“Not in September,” he said, “and such weather; the finest we have had
-since July. Come, cease this fluttering about--you disturb me--and I
-have a hundred things to do.”
-
-“Yes, papa.” Bee’s little figure stole from behind him in the meekest
-way. She stopped in her progress towards the door to give a touch to the
-flowers on a side table; and then she went slowly on, going out. She had
-got her hand upon the handle of the door, and Colonel Kingsward thanked
-heaven he had got rid of her for the moment, when she turned round,
-eyeing him closely again though keeping by that means of escape. “Papa,”
-she said, softly, “after all the talk we have been having--you perhaps
-don’t remember that--you have never--answered my question yet.”
-
-“What question?” he said sharply.
-
-Bee put her hands together like a child, she looked at him beseechingly,
-coaxingly, like that child returning to its point, and then she said
-still more softly, “About Aubrey, dear papa!”
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIV.
-
-
-I will not attempt to follow in detail the course of that autumn. It was
-a fine season, and Mrs. Kingsward was taken to her home in the country
-and recovered much of her lost health in the serene ending of the month
-and the bright days of October, which was a model October--everything
-that month ought to be. The trees had scarcely begun to take any
-autumnal colouring upon them when they reached Kingswarden--a house
-which stood among the Surrey hills; an old house placed not as modern
-houses are, pitched upon hillsides, or at points where there is “a
-view.” The old Kingswards had been moved by no such ridiculous modern
-sentiments. They had planted their mansion in a sheltered spot, where it
-would be safe from the winds that range over the country and all the
-moorland heights. The gates opened upon a wild country road with an
-extravagant breadth of green pathway and grassy bank on either
-side--enough to have made a farmer swear, but very pleasant to the eye
-and delightful to a horse’s feet, as well as to the pedestrians, whether
-they were tramps or tourists, who walked or rode on bicycles--the latter
-class only--from London to Portsmouth. The house was old, red, and
-straggling, covered with multitudes of creepers. Sheets of purple
-clematis--the Jackmanni, if anybody wishes to know; intolerable name for
-such a royal garment of blossom--covered half-a-dozen corners, hanging
-down in great brilliant wreaths over old ivy and straggling Virginia
-creeper and the strong stalks of the climbing roses, which still bore
-here and there a flower. Other sheets of other flowers threw themselves
-about in other places as if at their own sweet will, especially the wild
-exuberance of the Traveller’s Joy; though I need not say that this
-wildness was under the careful eye of the gardener, who would not let it
-go too far. I cannot attempt to tell how many other pleasant and
-fragrant and flowery things there were which insisted on growing in that
-luxurious place, even to the fastidious Highland creeper, which in that
-autumn season was the most gay, luxuriant, and delightful of all. The
-flowers abounded like the children, not to be checked, as healthy and as
-brilliant, in the fine, peaty soil and pure air. The scent of the
-mignonette, which in this late season straggled anywhere, seemed to fill
-half the country round. The borders were crowned with those autumn
-flowers which make up as well as they can for their want of sweetness by
-lavish wealth of colour--the glowing single dahlias, which this
-generation has had the good sense to re-capture from Nature after the
-quilled and rosetted artificial things which the gardeners had
-manufactured out of them, and the fine scarlet and blue of the salvias,
-and the glory of all those golden tribes of the daisy kind that now make
-our borders bright, instead of the old sturdy red geranium, which once
-sufficed for all the supplies of autumn, an honest servant but a poor
-lord. I prefer the sweetness of the Spring, when every flower has a soul
-in it, and breathes it all about in the air, that is full of hope. But
-as it cannot always be Spring, that triumph of bright hues is something
-to mask the face of winter with until the time when the tortured and
-fantastic chrysanthemum reigns alone.
-
-This was the sort of garden they had at Kingswarden; not shut off in a
-place by itself, but bordering all the lawns, which were of the velvet
-it takes centuries to perfect. The immediate grounds sloped a little to
-the south, and beyond them was a very extensive, if somewhat flat,
-prospect, ending on the horizon in certain mild blue shadows which were
-believed to be hills. There was not much that could be called a park at
-Kingswarden. The few farms which Colonel Kingsward possessed pressed his
-little circle of trees rather close; but as long as the farms were let
-the family felt they could bear this. It gave them a comfortable feeling
-of modest natural wealth and company; the yeomen keeping the squire
-warm, they in their farmsteadings, he in the hall.
-
-And the autumn went on in its natural course, gaining colour as it began
-to lose its greenness and the days their warmth. The fruit got all
-gathered in after the corn, the apple trees that had been such a sight,
-every bough bent down with its balls of russet or gold, looked shabby
-and worn, their season done, the hedges ran over with their harvest,
-every kind of wild berry and feathery seedpod, wild elderberries, hips
-and haws, the dangerous unwholesome fruit of the nightshade, the
-triumphant wreaths of bryony of every colour, green, crimson, and
-purple. The robins began to appear about Kingswarden, hopping about the
-lawns, and coming very near the dining-room windows after breakfast,
-when the little tribe of the nursery children had their accustomed
-half-hour with mamma, and delighted in nothing so much as to crumble the
-bread upon the terrace and tempt the redbreasts nearer and nearer. When,
-quite satisfied and comforted about his wife’s looks, Colonel Kingsward
-went off to the shooting, this little flock of children trailed after
-mamma wherever she went, a little blooming troop. By this time Charlie
-had gone back to Oxford, and the little ones liked to have the run of
-the lawns outside and the sitting rooms within, with nothing more
-alarming than Betty to keep them in order. It is to be feared that the
-relaxation of discipline which occurred when papa was absent was
-delightful to all those little people, and neither was Mrs. Kingsward
-sorry now and then to feel herself at full ease--with no necessity
-anywhere of further restraint than her own softened perceptions of
-family decorum required. It was a moment in which, if that could be
-said, she was self-indulgent--sometimes not getting up at her usual
-hour, but taking her breakfast in her room, with clusters of little boys
-and girls all over her bed, and over the carpet, sharing every morsel,
-climbing over her in their play. And when she went out to drive she had
-the carriage full of them; and when she took her stroll about the
-grounds they were all about, shouting and racing, nobody suggesting that
-it would be “too much for her,” or sending them off because they
-disturbed mamma. She was disturbed to her heart’s content while the
-Colonel was away. She said, “You know this is very nice for a time, but
-it would not do always,” to her elder daughter: but I think that she saw
-no necessity, except in the return of her husband, why it should not
-do, and she enjoyed herself singing to them, dancing (a very little)
-with them, playing for them as only the mother of a large family ever
-can play, that simple dance music which is punctuated and kept in
-perfect time by her heart as much as by her ear. For myself, I know the
-very touch upon the piano of a woman who is the orchestra of the
-children, who makes their little feet twinkle to the music. There is no
-band equal to it for harmony, and precision, and go. They enjoyed the
-freedom of having no one to say, “Hush, don’t make such a noise in the
-house,” of the absence of all the disturbable people, “the gentlemen,”
-as the servants plainly said, “being away” more, Mrs. Kingsward
-sometimes thought, with a faint twinge of conscience, than it was right
-they should enjoy anything in the absence of papa. Charlie was quite as
-bad as papa, and declared that they made his head ache, and that no
-fellow could work with such a row going on; it made the little carnival
-all the more joyous that he was out of the way.
-
-Bee had spent the six weeks since their return in a sort of splendour of
-girlish superiority and elation, of which her mother had not been
-unobservant, though nothing had been said between them. I am not sure
-that Bee did not enjoy the situation more than if Aubrey had been at
-Kingswarden wooing her all day long, playing tennis with her, riding
-with her--in every way appearing as her accepted lover. Circumstances
-had saved her from this mere vulgarity of beatitude, and she felt that
-in the very uncertainty of their correspondence, which was
-private--almost secret, and yet not clandestine--there was a wonderful
-charm, a romance and tinge of the unhappy and desperate, while yet
-everything within herself was happy and triumphant. It had never been
-said, neither by the Colonel nor by his wife (who had said nothing at
-all), that Bee was not to write letters to Aubrey nor to receive letters
-from him. I cannot imagine how Colonel Kingsward, in bidding her
-understand that all was over between Aubrey and herself, did not make a
-condition of this. But probably he thought her too young and simple to
-maintain any such correspondence, and her lover too little determined,
-too persuadeable, to begin it. When Bee had received her lover’s first
-letter it had been under her father’s very eyes. It had come at
-breakfast between two girl-epistles, and Colonel Kingsward would not
-have been guilty of the pettiness of looking at his daughter’s
-correspondence for any inducement yet before him. She had the tremendous
-thrill and excitement of reading it in his very sight, which she did not
-hesitate to do, for the sake of the bravado, feeling her ears tingle and
-the blood coursing in her veins, never imagining that he would not
-observe, and setting her young slight strength like a rock in momentary
-expectation of a question on the subject. But no question came. Colonel
-Kingsward was looking at the papers, and at the few letters which came
-to him at his house. The greater part of his correspondence went to the
-office. He took it very quietly, and he never remarked Bee at all, which
-was little less than a miracle, she thought. And it was very well for
-her that this was one of the mornings on which mamma did not come
-downstairs.
-
-This immense excitement was a little too strong for ordinary use, and
-Bee so arranged it afterwards that her letters came by a later post,
-when she could read them by herself in her room. The servants knew
-perfectly well of this arrangement--the butler who opened the post bag
-at Kingswarden, and the maid who carried Miss Bee’s letters
-upstairs--but neither father nor mother thought of it. That is, I will
-not answer for Mrs. Kingsward. She perhaps had her suspicions; but, if
-her husband did not forbid correspondence, she said to herself that it
-was not her business to do so. It seemed to her that nothing else could
-keep Bee so bright. Her disappointment, the shock of the severance, must
-have affected her otherwise than appeared if she had not been buoyed up
-by some such expedient. As for the Colonel, he thought nothing about it.
-He thought that, as for love, properly so called, the thing was
-preposterous for a girl of her years, and that the foolish business had
-been all made up of imaginative novelty, and the charm of the position,
-which had flattered and dazzled the girl. Now that she had returned to
-all her old associations and occupations, the pretty bubble had floated
-away into the air. It had not been necessary even to burst it--it had
-dispersed of itself, as he said to himself he always knew it would. Thus
-he deceived himself with the easiest mind and did not interfere.
-
-Mrs. Kingsward had come upon her daughter seated out on the lawn under
-the great walnut tree, reading one of these letters, one morning when
-she had gone out earlier than usual, on an exceptionally fine day. Bee
-had thrust it away hastily into her pocket and came forward with burning
-cheeks when she heard her mother’s voice--but it was not till some time
-later that Mrs. Kingsward spoke. The day had kept up its morning
-promise. It was one of those warm days that sometimes come in October,
-breathing the very spirit of that contented season, when all things have
-come to fruition and the work of the year is done, and its produce
-garnered into the barns. Now we may sit and rest, is the sentiment of
-the much toiling earth--all the labour being over, the harvest done,
-and no immediate need yet to rise again and plough. The world hangs
-softly swaying in space, the fields are fallow, the labourer rests. The
-sunshine lay warm upon the velvet grass, the foliage, thinned by one
-good blast a week ago, gave just shade enough, not too much; the
-tea-table was set out upon the lawn--the little horde had gone off
-shouting and skirmishing through the grounds, Betty at the head of them,
-supposed captain and controller, virtually ringleader, which comes to
-much the same thing. The air so hushed and silent in itself, half drowsy
-with profound peace, was just touched and made musical by their shouts,
-and Bee and her mother, with this triumphant sound of a multitude close
-by, were alone.
-
-“Bee,” Mrs. Kingsward said, “I have long wanted an opportunity to speak
-to you.”
-
-“Yes, mamma,” she said, looking up with a rush of blood to her heart,
-feeling that the moment had come. But she would not have been Bee if she
-had not put a little something of her own into the thick of the crisis.
-“There were plenty of opportunities--we have been together all day.”
-
-“You know what I mean,” said Mrs. Kingsward. “Bee, I saw you reading a
-letter this morning.”
-
-“Yes, mamma.”
-
-“Who was it from?”
-
-Bee looked her mother in the face. “I have never made any secret of it,”
-she said. “I have read them openly before papa--I never would pretend
-they were anything different. Of course it was from Aubrey, mamma.”
-
-“Oh, Bee!” said her mother. “You have never told me what your father
-said to you that morning. He told me that it was all over and done
-with--that he would never listen to another word on the subject.”
-
-“That was what he told me.”
-
-“Oh, Bee, Bee! and yet----”
-
-“Stop a moment, mamma! He never said I was not to write; he never said
-there was to be no correspondence. Had he said so, I should have, at
-least, considered what it was best to do.”
-
-“Considered what was best! But you were not the judge. I hope you would
-have obeyed your father, Bee.”
-
-“I cannot say, mamma. You must remember that it is my case and not his.
-I don’t know what I should have done. But it was not necessary, for he
-said nothing about it.”
-
-“Bee, my dear child, he may have said nothing; but you know very well
-that when he said it was entirely broken off he meant what he said.”
-
-“Papa is very capable of saying what he means,” said Bee. “I did not
-think it was any business of mine to inquire what might be his secret
-meaning. Mamma, dear, don’t be vexed; but, oh, that would have been too
-hard! And for Aubrey, too.”
-
-“I think much less of Aubrey that he should carry on a clandestine
-correspondence with a girl like you.”
-
-“Clandestine!” cried Bee, with blazing eyes. “No more clandestine than
-your letters that come by the post with your own name upon them. If
-Aubrey did not scorn anything that is clandestine, I should. There is
-nothing like that between him and me.”
-
-“I never supposed you would be guilty of any artifice, Bee; but you are
-going completely against your father--making a fool of him,
-indeed--making it all ridiculous--when you carry on a correspondence, as
-if you were engaged, after he has broken everything off.”
-
-“I am engaged,” said Bee, very low.
-
-“What do you say? Bee, this is out of the question. I shall have to tell
-your father when he comes back. “Oh! child, child, how you turn this
-delightful time into trouble. I shall be obliged to tell your father
-when he comes back.”
-
-“Perhaps it will be your duty, mamma,” said Bee, the colour going out of
-her face; “and then I shall have to consider what is mine,” she said.
-
-“Oh, Bee, Bee! Oh! how hard you make it for me. Oh! how I wish you had
-never seen him, nor heard of him,” Mrs. Kingsward cried.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XV.
-
-
-This communication made a little breach between Bee and her mother and
-planted a thorn in Mrs. Kingsward’s breast. She had been getting on so
-well; the quiet (which meant the riot of the seven nursery children and
-all their troublesome ways) had been doing her so much good, and the
-absence of every care save that Johnny should not take cold, and Lucy
-eat enough dinner--that it was hard upon her thus to be brought back in
-a moment to another and a more pressing kind of care. However, after an
-hour or two’s estrangement from Bee, which ended in a fuller expansion
-than ever of sympathy between them--and a morning or two in which Mrs.
-Kingsward remembered as soon as she awoke that it would be her duty to
-tell her husband and break up the pleasant peace and harmony of the
-household--the sweetness of that _dolce far niente_ swept over her again
-and obliterated or at least blurred the outline of all such troublous
-thoughts. Colonel Kingsward sent a hasty telegram to say that he was
-going on somewhere else for another ten days’ shooting, and that, though
-she exclaimed at first with a countenance of dismay, “Oh, children, papa
-is not coming home for another week!” in reality gave a pang of relief
-to her mind. Gliding into her being, she scarcely knew how, was an
-inclination to take every day as it came without thinking of
-to-morrow--which was perfectly natural, no doubt, and yet was an
-unconscious realisation of the fact, which as yet she had never put into
-words, nor had suggested to her, that those gentle days were numbered.
-Her husband’s delay was in one way like a reprieve to her. She had, like
-all simple natures, a vague faith in accident, in something that might
-turn up--“perhaps the world may end to-night”--something at least might
-happen in another ten days to make it unnecessary for her to disturb
-the existing state of affairs and throw new trouble into the house. She
-did not waver at first as to her duty, though nothing in the world could
-be more painful; and Bee did not say a word to change her mother’s
-resolution. Bee had always been aware that as soon as it was known the
-matter must come to another crisis--and the scorn with which she
-regarded the idea of doing anything clandestine prevented her even from
-asking that her secret should be kept. It was not in her mind but in her
-mother’s that those faint doubtings at last arose--those half
-entertained thoughts that a letter or two could do no harm; that the
-correspondence would drop of itself when it was seen between the two
-that there was no hope in it; and that almost anything would be better
-than a storm of domestic dispeace and the open rebellion in which Mrs.
-Kingsward felt with a shudder Bee would place herself. How are you to
-break the will of a girl who will not be convinced, who says it is not
-your, but her affair?
-
-No doubt that was true enough. It was Bee, not Colonel Kingsward, whose
-happiness was concerned. According to all the canons of poetry and
-literature in general, which in such matters permeate theoretically the
-general mind when there is no strong personal instinct to crush them,
-Bee had right on her side--and her mother’s instinct was all on the side
-of poetry and romance and Bee. She had not the courage to cut short that
-correspondence, not clandestine though unrevealed, which kept the girl’s
-heart alive, and was not without attractions to the mother also, into
-whose ear it might be whispered now and then (with always a faint
-protest on her part) that Aubrey had better hopes, that he had a
-powerful friend who was going to speak for him. If they really meant to
-be faithful to each other--and there was no doubt that was what they
-meant--they must win the day in the end; and what harm would it do in
-the meantime that they should hear of each other from time to time?
-Whereas, if she betrayed the secret, there would at once be a dreadful
-commotion in the house, and Bee would confront her father and tell him
-with those blazing eyes, so like his, that it was her affair. Mrs.
-Kingsward knew that her husband would never stoop to the manœuvre of
-intercepting letters, or keeping a watch upon those that his daughter
-received; and what can you do to a girl who says that? She shrank more
-than any words could say from the renewal of the conflict. She had been
-so thankful to believe that it had passed over and all things settled
-into peace while she was ill. Now that she was better her heart sank
-within her at the thought of bringing it all on again, which would also
-make her ill again she was convinced. Yet, at the same time, if she
-could not persuade Bee to give it up of herself (of which there was no
-hope whatever), then she must, it was her duty, inform her husband. But
-her heart rose a little at that ten days’ reprieve. Perhaps the world
-might end to-night. Something might happen to make it unnecessary in
-those ten days.
-
-And something did happen, though not in any way what Mrs. Kingsward
-could have wished.
-
-Colonel Kingsward’s return was approaching very near when on one of
-those bright October afternoons a lady from the neighbourhood--nay, it
-was the clergywoman of the parish, the Rector of Kingswarden’s wife, the
-very nearest of all neighbours--came to call. She had just returned from
-that series of visits which in the autumn is--with all who respect
-themselves--the natural course of events. Mrs. Chichester was a woman of
-good connection, of “private means,” and more or less “in society,” so
-that she carried out this programme quite as if she had been a great
-lady. She had an air of importance about her, which seemed to shadow
-forth from her very entrance something that she had to say--an unusual
-gravity, a look of having to make up her mind to a certain action which
-was not without difficulty. There passed a glance between Mrs. Kingsward
-and Bee, in which they said to each other, “What is it this time?” as
-clearly as words could have said; for, to be sure, they were well
-acquainted with this lady’s ways. She sat for a little, and talked of
-their respective travels since they had last met; and of the pleasant
-weeks she had passed at Homburg, where so many pleasant people were
-always to be met after the London season; and then she lightly touched
-on the fact that she had come over early in September, and since then
-had been staying at a number of country places, with the dear Bishop,
-and at Lady Grandmaison’s, and with old Sir Thomas down in Devonshire,
-and so on.
-
-“Or,” she concluded, with a disproportionate emphasis on that apparently
-unimportant word, “I should have been to see you long ago.”
-
-There was a significance in this which again made Mrs. Kingsward and Bee
-exchange a look--a laughing glance--as of those who had heard the phrase
-before. When, however, she had asked some questions about Mrs.
-Kingsward’s health, and expressed the proper feeling--sorry to hear she
-had been so poorly; delighted that she was so much better--Mrs.
-Chichester departed from her established use and wont. Instead of
-beginning upon the real object of her visit, after she had taken her cup
-of tea, with a “Now,” (also very emphatic) “I want to interest you in
-something I have very much at heart,”--which was generally a
-subscription, a society, a bazaar, a missionary meeting, or something of
-the sort--Mrs. Chichester bent forward and said, in a half whisper, “I
-have something I want very much to talk to you about. Could I speak to
-you for a moment--alone?”
-
-Bee was much surprised, but took her part with promptitude. “You want to
-get rid of me,” she said. “I shall go out on to the terrace, mamma, and
-you can call me from the window when you want me. I shall be sure to
-hear.”
-
-There was another look between them, always with a laugh in it, as she
-stepped out of the open window, with a book in her hand, a look which
-repeated, “What can it be, now?” with the same amusement as at first,
-but with more surprise. Bee made a circuit round the lawn with her book,
-one finger shut in it to mark the place; looking at the flowers, as one
-does who knows every plant individually, and notes each bud that is
-opening, and which are about to fall. She calculated within herself how
-long the dahlias would last, and that the Gloire de Dijon roses must be
-cut to-morrow, as she pursued her way towards the walnut tree, under
-which she meant to place herself. But Bee had not been there many
-minutes before she felt a little shiver creep over her. It was getting
-rather cold in this late October to sit out of doors, when the sun was
-already off the garden, and she had, as girls say, “nothing on.” She got
-up again, and made her way round to a garden bench which was set against
-the wall of the house, at the spot where the sunshine lasted longest.
-There was still a level ray of ruddy light pouring on that seat, and Bee
-forgot, or rather never thought, that it was close to the drawing-room
-window. Her mind was not much exercised about Mrs. Chichester’s secret,
-which probably concerned the mothers and babies of the parish, and which
-she certainly had no curiosity to hear. Besides, no doubt, the visitor
-had told by this time all the private details there were to tell. Bee
-sat down upon the bench, taking no precautions to disguise the sound of
-her footsteps, and opened her book. She was not an enthusiastic student,
-though she liked a novel as well as anyone; but her eyes strayed from
-it to the great width of the horizon in front of her, and the ruddy
-glory in the west, in which was just about to disappear that last long
-golden ray of the sun.
-
-Then she heard a low cry--an exclamation, stifled, yet full of horror.
-Was it mamma? What could the clergywoman be saying to bring from mamma’s
-lips such a cry? Bee--I cannot blame her--pricked up her ears. Mrs.
-Kingsward was not strong enough to be disturbed by horrors with which
-she had nothing to do.
-
-“Oh, I cannot believe it; I cannot believe it!” she said.
-
-“But,” said the other voice, with that emphasis at which Bee had laughed
-so often, “I can assure you it is true. I saw him myself shaking hands
-with the woman at the station. I might not have believed Miss Tatham’s
-story, but I saw with my own eyes that it was Mr. Leigh. I had met him
-at Sir Thomas’s the year before--when he was still in deep mourning for
-his wife, you know.”
-
-“Mr. Leigh! So it was something about Aubrey! Then it was Bee’s
-business still more than her mother’s, and she listened without any
-further thought.
-
-“But,” said Mrs. Kingsward, as if taking courage, “you must be mistaken;
-oh, not about seeing him shake hands with a woman--why shouldn’t he
-shake hands with a woman? He is very friendly with everybody. Perhaps he
-knew her, and there is nothing to find fault with in that.”
-
-“Now,” said Mrs. Chichester, solemnly, “should I have mentioned it had
-it been confined to that? I only told you of that as a proof. The thing
-is that he put in this woman--a common woman, like a servant--into a
-sleeping carriage--you know what those sleeping carriages cost; a
-perfect fortune; far too much for any comfort there is in them--in the
-middle of the night, with her two children. The woman behaved quite
-nicely, Miss Tatham says, and looked shocked to be put in with a lady,
-and blushed all over her face, and told that ridiculous story to account
-for it. Poor thing! One can only be sorry for her. Probably some poor
-thing deceived, and thinking she was to be made a lady of. But I know
-what you must think of the man, Mrs. Kingsward, who could do such a
-thing on his way from staying with your own family, even if there had
-been no more in it than that.”
-
-“But Mr. Leigh is very kind--kind to everybody--it might have been
-nothing but charity.”
-
-“Charity--in an express train sleeping carriage! Well, I confess I never
-heard of charity like that. Gentlemen generally know better than to
-compromise themselves for nothing in that sort of way. They are more
-afraid of risking themselves in railway carriages and that kind of thing
-than girls are--much more afraid. And if you remember, Mrs. Kingsward,
-what kind of reputation Mr. Leigh had in his poor wife’s time--keeping
-that Miss Lance all the time in her very house under her eyes.”
-
-“I have always heard that it was Mrs. Leigh who insisted upon keeping
-Miss Lance----”
-
-“Is it likely?” said Mrs. Chichester. “I ask you, knowing what you do of
-human nature? And then a thing to happen like this on his very way
-home--when he had just left you and poor little Bee. Oh, it is
-shameless, shameless! I could not contain myself when I heard of it. And
-then it was said that the Colonel had broken off the engagement, and I
-thought it would be a comfort to you to know that other things were
-occurring every day, and that it was the only thing to do.”
-
-“It is no comfort to me--and I cannot--I cannot believe it!”
-
-“Dear Mrs. Kingsward, you always take the best view; but if you had seen
-him, as I did, holding the woman’s hand, bending over her with such a
-look!--I was afraid he would kiss her, there, before everybody. And I,
-knowing of the engagement, and that he had just left you--before Miss
-Tatham said a word--I sat and stared, and couldn’t believe my eyes. It
-was the tenth of September, and he had left Bee, hadn’t he, the night
-before?”
-
-“I never remember dates,” said Mrs. Kingsward, querulously.
-
-“I do,” replied the visitor, “and I took the trouble to find out. At
-least, I found out by accident, through someone who saw him at the
-club, and who had just discovered the rights of that story about Miss
-Lance. Oh, I trust you will not be beguiled by his being a good _parti_,
-or that sort of thing, to trust dear Bee in such hands! Marriage is
-always rather a disenchantment; but think what it would be in such a
-case--a man that can’t be trusted to travel between Cologne and London
-without----”
-
-“I don’t believe it! I don’t believe it!” said Mrs. Kingsward; and Bee
-heard that her mother had melted into tears.
-
-“That is as good as saying you don’t believe me, who saw it with my own
-eyes,” said the visitor, getting up. “Indeed, I didn’t mean at all to
-distress you, for I thought that, as everything was broken off--I
-thought only if you had any doubts, as one has sometimes after one has
-settled a thing--that to know he was a man like that, with no respect
-for anything, who could leave his _fiancée_, and just plunge,
-plunge--there is no other word for it----”
-
-It was evident that Mrs. Kingsward, reduced to helplessness, here made
-no effort either to detain her visitor or to contradict her further, or
-indeed to make any remark. There was a step or two across the room, and
-then Mrs. Chichester said again--“Good-bye, dear. I am very sorry to
-have distressed you--but I couldn’t leave you in ignorance of such a
-thing for dear Bee’s sake; that is the one thing to be thankful for in
-the whole matter, that Bee doesn’t seem to mind a bit! She looks just as
-bright and just as nice as if nothing had happened. She can’t have cared
-for him! Only flattered, I suppose, and pleased to have a proposal--as
-those little things are, poor things. We should all thank heaven on our
-knees that there’s no question of a broken heart in Bee’s case----”
-
-She might not have been so sure of that had she seen the figure which
-came through the window the moment the door had closed upon her--Bee
-with her blue eyes blazing wildly out of her white face, and strange
-passion in every line both of features and form.
-
-“What is the meaning of it?” she said, briefly, with dry lips.
-
-“Oh, Bee, you have heard it all!”
-
-“I have heard enough--what does it mean, mamma?”
-
-Mrs. Kingsward roused herself, dried her eyes, and went forward to Bee
-with outstretched arms; but the girl turned away. “I don’t want to be
-petted. I want to know what--what it means,” she said.
-
-“I don’t believe it,” cried Mrs. Kingsward.
-
-“Give a reason; don’t say things to quiet me. Oh, keep your arms away,
-mamma! Don’t pet me as if I wanted that! Why don’t you believe it? And
-if you did believe it--what does it mean--what does it mean?”
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XVI.
-
-
-Bee’s look of scared and horrified misery was something new in Mrs.
-Kingsward’s experience. The girl had not known any trouble. Her father’s
-rejection of her lover and the apparent break between them had been in
-reality only another feature in the romance. She had almost liked it
-better so. There had been no time to pine, to feel the pain of
-separation. It was all the more like a poem, like what every love story
-should be, that this breaking off should have come.
-
-And now, all at once, without any warning! The worst of it was that Bee
-had only heard a part of the story, the recapitulation of it. Mrs.
-Chichester had given the accused more or less fair play. She had given
-an imperfect account of the explanation, the story the woman had
-told--as was almost inevitable to a third party, but she had given it to
-the best of her ability, not meaning to deceive, willing enough that he
-should have the benefit of the doubt, or perhaps that the judgment upon
-him should be all the more hard, because of his attempt to mingle deceit
-with his sin, and throw dust in the eyes of any possible spectators.
-This was the way in which it had appeared to herself, but she was not
-unfair. She told the story which had been told to the astonished lady
-upon whose solitude the little party had been obtruded in the middle of
-the night, and who had heard it perhaps even imperfectly at first hand
-mingled with the jolting and jarring of the train and the murmur of the
-children. And yet Mrs. Chichester had repeated it honestly.
-
-But Bee had not heard that part of the tale. She had heard only the
-facts of the case which had presented to her inexperienced young mind
-the most wild and dreadful picture. Her lover, who had just left her,
-whom she had promised to stand by till death, suddenly appeared to her
-in the pale darkness of the midnight with a woman and children hanging
-on to him--belonging to him, as appeared. Where had he met them? How had
-he arranged to meet them? When her hand had been in his, when he had
-been asking from her that pledge till death, had he just been arranging
-all that--giving them that rendezvous--settling how they were to meet,
-and where? A horror and sickness came over poor Bee. It made her head
-swim and her limbs tremble. To leave her with her pledge in his ears,
-and to meet, perhaps at the very outset of his journey, the woman with
-the children--a common sort of woman, like a servant. As if that made
-any difference! If she had been a duchess it would have been all the
-same. He must have met her fresh from Bee’s presence, with his farewell
-to the girl whom he had pretended to love still on his lips. She could
-not think so clearly. Was this picture burnt in upon her mind? She
-seemed to see the dim, half-lighted carriage, and Aubrey at the door
-putting the party in. And then at Dover, in the daylight, shaking hands
-with his companion, bending over her as if he meant to kiss her! These
-two pictures took possession of Bee’s mind completely. And all this just
-when he had left Bee--between his farewell to her and his interview with
-her father! If she had heard of the story which the woman had told to
-the startled Miss Tatham in the dim sleeping carriage, from which,
-looking out, she had recognised Aubrey Leigh, it might have made a
-difference. But that story had not been told in Bee’s hearing. And Mrs.
-Kingsward did not know this, but supposed she had heard the whole from
-beginning to end.
-
-Bee’s mother, to tell the truth, after the first shock, was glad of that
-unconscious eaves-dropping on Bee’s part; for how could she have told
-her? Indeed, the story was too gross, too flagrant to be believed by
-herself. She felt sure that there must be some explanation of it other
-than the vulgar one which was put upon it by these ladies; but she knew
-very well that the same interpretation would be put upon it by her
-husband, and many other people to whom Aubrey’s innocent interference in
-such a case would have seemed much less credible than guilt. Guilt is
-the thing that generally rises first as the explanation of everything,
-to the mind, both of the man and woman of the world. The impossibility
-of a man leaving a delicate flower of womanhood like Bee, whose first
-love he had won, in order to fall back at once into the bonds of a
-common intrigue, and provide for the comfort of his paramour, who had
-been waiting for him on the journey, would not prove so great to most
-people as the impossibility that he, as a stranger, would step out of
-his way to succour a poor little mother and children whom he had never
-seen before, and risk thereby a compromising situation.
-
-The latter was the thing which would have seemed unutterably ridiculous
-and impossible to Colonel Kingsward. A first-class sleeping carriage
-secured for a mere waif upon his way, whom he had never seen before and
-never would see again! The fellow might be a fool, but he was not such a
-fool as that. Had the woman even been old and ugly the Colonel would
-have laughed and shrugged his shoulders at Aubrey’s bad taste; but the
-woman was pretty and young. A long-standing affair, no doubt; and, of
-course, it was quite possible, nay likely, that she was being sent, poor
-creature, to some retreat or other, where she would be out of the way
-with her children.
-
-Mrs. Kingsward knew, as if she had heard him say these words, how her
-husband would speak. And who was she, with not half his experience of
-the world, to maintain a different opinion? Yet she did so. She thought
-it was like Aubrey to turn the poor woman’s lingering, melancholy
-journey into a quick and comfortable one, out of pure kindness, without
-thought of compromising himself any more than of having any recompense
-for what he did. But she did not know that Bee knew nothing of this
-explanation of the story. When she found that her child evidently
-thought nothing of that, but received at once the darker miserable tale
-into her mind, she was startled, but not perhaps astonished. Bee was
-young to think the worst of anybody, but at the same time it is by far
-the commonest way of thinking, and the offence was one against herself,
-which gives a sharper edge to everything. And then she knew what was
-going on in Bee’s mind chiefly by guesswork, for the girl said little.
-The colour went out of her face, her eyes sometimes gave a gleam of
-their old fire, but mostly had a strange set look, as if they were fixed
-on something not visible to the ordinary spectator. She sat all the
-evening through and never spoke. This was not so noticeable while the
-children were still about with their perpetual flow of observations and
-flood of questions; but when they went off in detachments to bed, and
-the two elder girls were left alone with their mother, Bee’s silence
-fell upon the others like a cloud. Betty, who knew nothing, after a few
-minutes rushed away upstairs to find refuge in the nursery, and then
-Mrs. Kingsward was left alone, face to face with this silent figure, so
-unlike Bee, which neither moved nor spoke. She had scarcely the courage
-to break the dreadful silence, but yet it had to be broken. Poor Mrs.
-Kingsward’s heart began to beat violently against her breast as it had
-not done since her return home.
-
-“Bee!” she said. “Bee!”
-
-Already the pumping of her heart had taken away her breath.
-
-“Yes, mamma.”
-
-“Oh! Bee, what--what are you going to do?”
-
-“To do, mamma?”
-
-“Oh! don’t repeat my words after me, but give me some sort of an answer.
-Betty may be back again in a moment. What are you going to do?”
-
-“What can I do?” the girl said, in a low voice.
-
-“I can’t suppose but that you have been thinking about it--what else
-could you be thinking of, poor child? For my part, I don’t believe it.
-Do you hear me, Bee?”
-
-“Yes--I heard you say that before, mamma.”
-
-“And that is all you think of what I say! My darling, you can’t remain
-like this. The first thing your father will ask will be, ‘What has
-happened?’ I cannot bear that you should give up--without a word.”
-
-Mrs. Kingsward had disapproved of the correspondence, had felt that it
-would be incumbent upon her to tell her husband of it, but yet in this
-unforeseen emergency she forgot all that.
-
-“Without a word! What words could I say? You don’t suppose I could
-discuss it with him--ask if it was true? If it’s true, there isn’t a
-word to say, is there? And if it isn’t true it would be an insult to ask
-him. And so one way or another it is all just done with and over. And I
-wish you would leave me quiet, mamma.”
-
-“Done with and over! Without a word--on a mere story of something that
-took place on a journey!”
-
-“Oh! leave me quiet, mamma. Do you think I need to be reminded of that
-journey? As if I did not see it, and the lamps burning, and hear the
-very wheels!”
-
-“Bee, dear, how can I leave you quiet? Do you mean just to let it break
-off like that, without a word, without giving him the chance to
-explain?”
-
-“I thought,” said Bee, with a faint satirical smile, for, indeed, her
-heart was capable of all bitterness, “that it was broken off completely
-by papa, and all that remained was only--what you called clandestine,
-mamma.”
-
-“I did not call it clandestine. I knew you would do nothing that was
-dishonourable. And it is true that it was--broken off. But, Bee! Bee!
-you don’t seem to feel the dreadful thing this is. After all that has
-passed, to let it drop in a moment, without saying a word!”
-
-“I thought it was what I ought to have done, as soon as papa’s will was
-made known.”
-
-“Oh! Bee, you will drive me mad. And I have got no breath to speak. So
-you ought, perhaps--but you have not, when perhaps there was a reason.
-And now, for a mere chance story, and without giving him--an
-opportunity--to speak for himself.”
-
-Bee raised her face, now crimson as it had before been pale.
-
-“How could I put any questions on such a thing? How could it be
-discussed between him and me? To think of it is bad enough, but to speak
-of it--mamma! How do I know, even, what words to say?”
-
-“In that case, every engagement would be at the mercy of any slanderer,
-if the girl never could bring herself to ask what it meant.”
-
-“I am not any girl,” cried poor Bee, with a quiver of her lip. “I am
-just myself. I don’t think very much of myself any more than you do, but
-I can’t change myself. Oh, let me alone, let me alone, mamma!”
-
-Mrs. Kingsward was very much excited. Her nostrils grew pinched and
-dilated in the struggle for breath; her lips were open and panting from
-the same cause. She was caught in that dreadful contradiction of
-sentiment and feeling which is worse than any unmingled catastrophe. She
-had been rent asunder before this by her desire to shield her daughter,
-yet the sense of her duty to her husband remained, and now it was the
-correspondence which she seemed to be called upon to defend almost at
-peril of her life; that actually clandestine, at least secret
-correspondence, of which she could not approve, which she was bound to
-cut short. And yet to cut it short like this was something which she
-could not bear. She threw aside the work with which she had been
-struggling and fixed her eyes on Bee, who did not look at her nor see
-how agitated her expression was.
-
-“If you can do this, I can’t,” she said. “I will write to him. The
-other dreadful story may be true, for anything I know. And that, of
-course, is enough. But this one I don’t believe, if an angel from Heaven
-told it me. He shall at least have the chance of clearing himself!”
-
-“I don’t know,” said Bee, “what the other dreadful story was. I thought
-it was only pretending to love--some other woman; and then--pretending
-to love _me_”--she broke off into a little hoarse laugh. The offence of
-it was more than Bee could bear. The insult--to suffer (she said to
-herself) was one thing--but to be insulted! She laughed to think what a
-fool she had been; how she had been taken in; how she had said--oh, like
-the veriest credulous fool--“Till death.”
-
-“He was not pretending to love you. What went before I know not, but
-with you he was true.”
-
-“One before--and one after,” said Bee, rising in an irrepressible rage
-of indignation. “Oh, mamma, how can we sit quietly and discuss it, as
-if--as if it were a thing that could be talked about? Am I to come in
-between--two others--two---- I think it will make me mad,” the girl
-cried, stamping her foot. How does a man dare to do that--to insult a
-girl--who never sought him nor heard of him, wanted nothing of him--till
-he came and forced himself into her life!”
-
-“Oh! Bee, my darling,” cried the mother, going up to her child with
-outstretched arms.
-
-“Don’t touch me, don’t touch me, don’t pet me; I cannot bear it. Let me
-stand by myself. I am not a little thing like Lucy to be caught up and
-kissed till I forget. I don’t want to forget. There is nothing that can
-ever be done to me, if I were to live to an hundred, to put this out of
-my head.”
-
-“Bee, be patient with me for a moment. I have lived longer than you
-have. What went before could be no offence to you, whatever it was. It
-might be bad, but it was no offence to you. And this--I don’t believe
-it----”
-
-Bee was far too much self-absorbed to see the labouring breath, the pink
-spot on each cheek, the panting which made her mother’s fine nostrils
-quiver and kept her lips apart, or that she caught at the back of a
-chair to support herself as she stood.
-
-“I don’t know why--you shouldn’t believe it. I don’t believe it; I see
-it, I hear it,” cried Bee. “It’s like a story--and I thought these
-things were always stories, things made up to keep up the interest in a
-book---- I’m the--deceived heroine, the one that’s disappointed, don’t
-you know, mamma? We’ve read all about her dozens of times. But she
-generally makes a fuss over it,” the girl said, with her suffocating
-laugh. “I shall make--no fuss---- Mamma! What is the matter, mamma?”
-
-Nothing more was the matter than the doctor could have told Mrs.
-Kingsward’s family long ago--a spasm of the heart. She stumbled backward
-to the sofa, and flung herself down before consciousness forsook her.
-Did consciousness forsake her at all? Bee rushing to the bell, making
-its violent sound peal through the house, then flinging herself at her
-mother’s feet, and calling to her in the helplessness of utter
-ignorance, “Mamma, mamma!” did not think that she was unconscious.
-Broken words fell from her in the midst of her gasps for breath, then
-there was a moment of dread stillness. By this time the room seemed to
-be full of people--Bee did not know who was there--and then there
-suddenly appeared out of the mist Moulsey with a glass and teaspoon in
-her hands.
-
-“Go away, all of you,” cried Moulsey, “she’ll be better directly--open
-all the windows and take a fan and fan her, Miss Bee.”
-
-The blast of the cold October night air came in like a flood, Bee seemed
-to come out of a horrible dream in the waft of air brought by the fan
-which she was herself waving to and fro--and in a little time, as
-Moulsey said, Mrs. Kingsward was better. The labouring breath which had
-come back after that awful moment of stillness gradually calmed down and
-became softer with an occasional long drawn sigh, and then she opened
-her eyes and said, with a faint smile, “What is it? What is it?” She
-looked round her for a moment puzzled--and then she said, “Ah! you are
-fanning me,” with a smile to Bee, but presently, “How cold it is! I
-don’t think I want to be fanned, Moulsey.”
-
-“No, ma’am, not now. And White is just a-going to shut all the windows.
-The fire was a bit too hot, and you know you never can bear it when the
-room gets too hot.”
-
-“No, I never can bear it,” Mrs. Kingsward said, in a docile tone. She
-followed the lead of any suggestion given to her. “I must have got
-faint--with the heat.”
-
-“That was just it,” said Moulsey. “When you have a fire in the
-drawing-room so early it looks so cheerful you’re apt to pile it too
-high without thinking--for it ain’t really cold in October, not cold
-enough to have a fire like that. You want it for cheerfulness, ma’am,
-more than for heat. A big bit of wood that will make a nice blaze, and
-very little coal, as is too much for the season, is what your
-drawing-room fire should be.”
-
-Mrs. Kingsward gradually came to herself during this long speech, which
-no doubt was what Moulsey intended. But she said she felt a little weak,
-and that she would keep on the sofa until it was time to go to bed. The
-agitation she had gone through seemed to have passed from her mind.
-“Read me a little of that story,” she said, pointing to a book on the
-table. “We left off last night at a most interesting part. Read me the
-next chapter, Bee.”
-
-Bee sat down beside her mother’s sofa and opened the book. It was not a
-book of a very exciting kind it may be supposed, when it was thus read a
-chapter at a time, without any one of the party opening it from evening
-to evening to see how things went on. But as it happened at this point
-of the story, the heroine had found out that her lover was not so
-blameless as she thought, and was making up her mind to have nothing to
-do with him. Bee began to read with an indignation beyond words for both
-hero and heroine, who were so pale, so colourless, beside her own story.
-To waste one’s time reading stuff like this, while the tide of one’s own
-passion was ten times stronger! She did not think very much of her
-mother’s faint. It was, no doubt, the too large fire, as Moulsey said.
-
- END OF FIRST VOLUME.
-
- TILLOTSON AND SON, PRINTERS, BOLTON.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Typographical errors corrected by the etext transcriber:
-
-ali the _wohlgeborne_=> all the _wohlgeborne_ {pg 13}
-
-goose’ to me,” said Bettty=> goose’ to me,” said Betty {pg 26}
-
-Will gou go=> Will you go {pg 90}
-
-consent had been been given=> consent had been given {pg 197}
-
-down ths shovel hastily=> down the shovel hastily {pg 217}
-
-her husband aud break up=> her husband and break up {pg 235}
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-End of Project Gutenberg's The Sorceress; v. 1 of 3, by Margaret Oliphant
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-
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Sorceress; v. 1 of 3, by Margaret Oliphant
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: The Sorceress; v. 1 of 3
-
-Author: Margaret Oliphant
-
-Release Date: April 1, 2016 [EBook #51617]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
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-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SORCERESS; V. 1 OF 3 ***
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-Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
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-
-<hr class="full" />
-
-<p class="c">THE SORCERESS.</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/cover.jpg" width="316" height="500" alt="" title="" />
-</div>
-
-<h1>THE SORCERESS.</h1>
-
-<p class="c"><span class="eng">A Novel.</span><br />
-<br /><br />
-<small>BY</small>
-<br />
-<big>M R S. &nbsp; O L I P H A N T,</big><br />
-<small>AUTHOR OF<br />
-“THE CHRONICLES OF CARLINGFORD,”<br />
-“THE CUCKOO IN THE NEST,”<br />
-ETC., ETC.</small><br />
-<br />
-<i>IN THREE VOLUMES.</i><br />
-<br />
-VOL. I.<br />
-<br />
-LONDON:<br />
-F. V. WHITE &amp; Co.,<br />
-31, SOUTHAMPTON STREET, STRAND, W.C.<br />
-1893.<br />
-<br />
-<small>(<i>ALL RIGHTS RESERVED</i>)</small><br />
-<br />
-<small>PRINTED BY<br />
-TILLOTSON AND SON, BOLTON,<br />
-LONDON, NEW YORK, AND BERLIN.</small>
-</p>
-
-<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" summary=""
-style="border:4px double black;">
-
-<tr><td class="c"><a name="CONTENTS" id="CONTENTS"></a>CONTENTS: <a href="#CHAPTER_I"><b>CHAPTER I., </b></a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_II"><b> II., </b></a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_III"><b> III., </b></a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_IV"><b> IV., </b></a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_V"><b> V., </b></a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_VI"><b> VI., </b></a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_VII"><b> VII., </b></a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_VIII"><b> VIII., </b></a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_IX"><b> IX., </b></a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_X"><b> X., </b></a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XI"><b> XI., </b></a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XII"><b> XII., </b></a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XIII"><b> XIII., </b></a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XIV"><b> XIV., </b></a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XV"><b> XV., </b></a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XVI"><b> XVI.</b></a></td></tr>
-</table>
-<p><a name="page_1" id="page_1"></a></p>
-
-<h1>THE SORCERESS.</h1>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_I" id="CHAPTER_I"></a>CHAPTER I.</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">It</span> was the most exciting event which had ever occurred in the family,
-and everything was affected by it.</p>
-
-<p>Imagine to yourselves such a young family, all in the very heyday of
-life, parents and children alike. It is true that Mrs. Kingsward was
-something of an invalid, but nobody believed that her illness was
-anything very serious, only a reason why she should be taken abroad, to
-one place after another, to the great enjoyment of the girls, who were
-never so happy as when they were travelling and gaining, as they said,
-experience of life. She was not yet forty, while Charlie was<a name="page_2" id="page_2"></a> twenty-one
-and Bee nineteen, so that virtually they were all of the same age, so to
-speak, and enjoyed everything together&mdash;mamma by no means put aside into
-the ranks of the dowagers, but going everywhere and doing everything
-just like the rest, and as much admired as anyone.</p>
-
-<p>To be sure she had not been able to walk about so much this time, and
-had not danced once, except a single turn with Charlie, which brought on
-a palpitation, so that she declared with a laugh that her dancing days
-were over. Her dancing days over! Considering how fond she had always
-been of dancing, the three young people laughed over this, and did not
-take the least alarm. Mamma had always been the ringleader in
-everything, even in the romps with the little ones at home. For you must
-not think that these three were all of the family by any means.</p>
-
-<p>Bee and Betty were the eldest of I can’t at this moment tell how many,
-who were safe in the big nursery at Kingswarden under the charge (very
-partial) of papa, and the strict and steady rule of nurse, who was a
-personage of high authority in the house. Papa<a name="page_3" id="page_3"></a> had but lately left “the
-elder ones,” as he called them, including his pretty wife&mdash;and had gone
-back to his work, which was that of an official at the Horse Guards, in
-some military department of which I don’t even know the name, for I
-doubt whether the Intelligence Department, which satisfies all the
-necessities of description, had been invented in those days.</p>
-
-<p>Colonel Kingsward was a distinguished officer, and the occasion of great
-<i>éclat</i> to the little group when he showed himself at their head,
-drawing round him a sort of cloud of foreign officers wherever he went,
-which Bee and Betty appreciated largely, and to which Mrs. Kingsward
-herself did not object; for they all liked the clank of spurs, as was
-natural, and the endless ranks of partners, attendants in the gardens,
-and general escort and retinue thus provided. It was not, however, among
-these officers, red, blue, green, and white&mdash;of all the colours in the
-rainbow&mdash;that Bee had found her fate. For I need scarcely say it was a
-proposal which had turned everything upside down and filled the little
-party with excitement.<a name="page_4" id="page_4"></a></p>
-
-<p>A proposal! The first in the family! Mamma’s head was as much turned by
-it as Bee’s. She lay on the sofa in her white dressing gown, so flushed
-with happiness and amusement and excitement, that you would have
-supposed it was she who was to be the bride.</p>
-
-<p>And then it was so satisfactory a thing all round. If ever Mrs.
-Kingsward had held anyone at arm’s length in her life it was a certain
-captain of Dragoons who had clanked about everywhere after her daughters
-and herself for three weeks past. The moment they had appeared anywhere,
-even at the springs, where she went to drink her morning glass of
-disagreeable warm water, at the concert in the afternoon, in “the rooms”
-at night, not to speak of every picnic and riding party, this tall
-figure would jump up like a jack-in-a-box. And there was no doubt that
-the girls were rather pleased than otherwise to see him jump up. He was
-six foot two at least, with a moustache nearly a yard long, curling in a
-tawny and powerful twist over his upper lip. He had half-a-dozen medals
-on his breast; his uniform was<a name="page_5" id="page_5"></a> a compound of white and silver, with a
-helmet that literally blazed in the sun, and his spurs clanked louder
-than any other spurs in the gardens. The only thing that was wanting to
-him was a very little thing&mdash;a thing that an uninstructed English person
-might not have thought of at all&mdash;but which was a painful thing in his
-own troubled consciousness, and in that of the regiment, and even was
-doubtful to the English friends who had picked up, as was natural, all
-the prejudices of the class into which their own position brought them.</p>
-
-<p>Poor Captain Kreutzner, I blush to say it, had no “Von” to his name.
-Nobody could deny that he was a distinguished officer, the hope of the
-army in his branch of the service; but when Mrs. Kingsward thought how
-the Colonel would look if he heard his daughter announced as Madame
-Kreutzner <i>tout court</i> in a London drawing-room, her heart sank within
-her, and a cold perspiration came out upon her forehead. “And I don’t
-believe Bee would care,” she cried, turning to her son for sympathy.</p>
-
-<p>Charlie was so well brought up a young<a name="page_6" id="page_6"></a> man that he cared very much, and
-gave his mother all the weight of his support. His office it was to
-beguile Captain Kreutzner as to the movements of the party, to keep off
-that bold dragoon as much as was possible; when, lo! all their
-precautions were rendered unnecessary by the arrival of the real man
-from quite another quarter, at once, and in a moment cutting the Captain
-out!</p>
-
-<p>There was one thing Mrs. Kingsward could never be sufficiently thankful
-for in the light of after events, and that was, that it was Colonel
-Kingsward himself who introduced Mr. Aubrey Leigh to the family. He was
-a young man who was travelling for the good of his health, or rather for
-the good of his mind, poor fellow, as might be seen at a glance. He was
-still in deep mourning when he presented himself at the hotel, and his
-countenance was as serious as his hatband. Nevertheless, he had not been
-long among them before Bee taught him how to smile, even to laugh,
-though at first with many hesitations and rapid resuming of a still
-deeper tinge of gravity, as if asking pardon of some beloved object for
-whom he would<a name="page_7" id="page_7"></a> not permit even himself to suppose that he had ceased to
-mourn. This way he had of falling into sudden gravity continued with him
-even when it was evident that every decorum required from him that he
-should cease to mourn. Perhaps it was one of the things that most
-attracted Bee, who had a touch of the sentimental in her character, as
-all young ladies had in those days, when Mrs. Hemans and L. E. L. were
-the favourite poets whom young ladies were expected to read. Well
-brought up girls were not permitted, I need not say, to read Byron.
-Shelley was a name of fear, and the poems of Mr. Thomas Campbell, not to
-say Mr. Thomas Moore (carefully selected) were likely to promote that
-quality.</p>
-
-<p>The pale young man, with his black coat, his hatband, his look of
-melancholy, drove out the image of the Captain at once from Bee’s mind.
-She had perhaps had enough of captains, fine uniforms, spurs, and all.
-They had become what modern levity calls a drug in the market. They made
-<i>Fenster</i> parade all day long under her windows; they thronged upon her
-steps in the gardens;<a name="page_8" id="page_8"></a> they tore the flounces from her tarlatan into
-pieces at the balls. It was something far more original to sit out in
-the moonlight and look at the moon with a sorrowful young hero, who
-gradually woke up into life under her hand. Poor, poor boy!&mdash;so young
-and so melancholy!&mdash;who had gone through so much!&mdash;who was really so
-handsome when the veil of grief began to blow away!&mdash;who had such a
-pretty name!</p>
-
-<p>Bee was only nineteen. She had mocked and charmed and laughed at a whole
-generation of young officers, thinking of nothing but picnics and dinner
-parties and balls. She wanted something new upon which to try her little
-hand&mdash;and now it was thrown, just when she felt the need, in her way.
-She had turned a young fool’s head several times, so that the operation
-had lost its charm. But to bring a sad man back to life, to drive away
-sorrow, to teach him to hold up his head again, to learn how sweet it
-was to live and smile, and ride and run about this beautiful world, and
-wake every day to a new pleasure&mdash;that was something she felt worthy of
-a woman’s powers. And she did<a name="page_9" id="page_9"></a> it with such effect that Mr. Aubrey Leigh
-went on improving for three weeks more, and finally ended up with that
-proposal which was to the Kingsward family in general the most amusing,
-the most exciting, the most delightful incident in the world.</p>
-
-<p>And yet, of course, it was attended with a certain amount of anxiety
-which in her&mdash;temporarily&mdash;invalid state was not very good for mamma.
-Everybody insisted on all occasions that it was a most temporary state,
-and that by the end of the summer she would be all right&mdash;the
-palpitations quite calmed down, the flush&mdash;which made her so pretty&mdash;a
-little subdued, and herself as strong as ever. But in the meantime this
-delightful romantic incident, which certainly acted upon her like a
-glass of champagne, raising her spirits, brought her some care as well.
-Her first interview was of course with Bee, and took place in the
-privacy of her chamber, where she cross-examined her daughter as much as
-was compatible with the relations between them&mdash;- which indeed were
-rather those of companions and comrades than of mother and daughter.<a name="page_10" id="page_10"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Now, Bee, my dear child,” she said, “remember you have always been a
-little rover, and Mr. Leigh is so quiet. Do you think you really,
-really, can devote yourself to him, and never think of another man all
-your life?”</p>
-
-<p>“Mamma,” said Bee, “if you were not such a dear I should think you were
-very insulting. Another man! Why, where should I find another man in the
-world that was fit to tie Aubrey’s shoe?”</p>
-
-<p>“Well,” said Mrs. Kingsward, dubiously; but she added, after a moment,
-“You know, darling, that’s not quite the question. If you did find in
-the after ages a man that perhaps was&mdash;fit to tie Mr. Leigh’s shoe?”</p>
-
-<p>“Why in all this world, <i>petite mère</i>, will you go on calling him Mr.
-Leigh?”</p>
-
-<p>“Well, well,” said Mrs. Kingsward; “but I don’t feel,” she said again,
-after a moment’s hesitation, “that I ought to go so far as to call him
-Aubrey until we have heard from papa.”</p>
-
-<p>“What could papa find to object to?” said Bee. “Why, it was he who
-introduced him to us! We should not have known Aubrey,<a name="page_11" id="page_11"></a> and I should
-never have been the happiest girl in the world, if it had not been for
-papa. Dear papa! I know what he’ll say: ‘I can’t understand, my dear,
-why you should hesitate for a moment. Of course, you don’t suppose I
-should have introduced Mr. Leigh to my family without first
-ascertaining, &amp;c., &amp;c.’ That, of course, is what papa will say.”</p>
-
-<p>“I dare say you are right, Bee. It is quite what I expect, for, of
-course, a man with girls knows what it is, though for my part I confess
-I always thought it would be a soldier&mdash;Captain Kreutzner or Otto
-von&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Mamma!” cried Bee, almost violently, light flashing out of the blue
-eyes, which were so bright even on ordinary occasions as to dazzle the
-beholder&mdash;you may imagine what fire came out of them now&mdash;“as if I
-should ever have looked twice at one of those big, brainless, clinking
-and clanking Germans. (N.B.&mdash;Mr. Aubrey Leigh was not tall.) No! Though
-I may like foreigners well enough because it’s amusing to talk their
-language and to feel that one has such an advantage in knowing German
-and all that&mdash;yet, when it comes to be a question of spending one’s
-life, an Englishman for me!”<a name="page_12" id="page_12"></a></p>
-
-<p>Thus, it will be seen, Bee forestalled the patriotic sentiments of a
-later generation by resolving, in spite of all temptations, to belong to
-other nations&mdash;to select an Englishman for her partner in life. It is
-doubtful, however, how far this virtuous resolution had existed in her
-mind before the advent of Aubrey Leigh.</p>
-
-<p>“I am sure I am very glad, Bee,” said her mother, “for I always had a
-dread that you would be snatched off somewhere to&mdash;Styria or Dalecarlia,
-or heaven knows where&mdash;(these were the first out-of-the-way names that
-came to Mrs. Kingsward’s mind; but I don’t know that they were
-altogether without reference or possibilities), where one would have had
-no chance of seeing you more than once in two or three years. I am very
-thankful it is to be an Englishman&mdash;or at least I shall be,” she added,
-with a sigh of suspense, “as soon as I have heard from papa&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“One would think, <i>Mütterchen</i>, that you were frightened for papa.”</p>
-
-<p>“I shouldn’t like you ever to try and go against him, Bee!”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, no,” said Bee, lightly, “of course I<a name="page_13" id="page_13"></a> shouldn’t think of going
-against him&mdash;is the inquisition over?&mdash;for I promised,” she said, with a
-laugh and a blush, “to walk down with Aubrey as far as the river. He
-likes that so much better than those noisy blazing gardens, with no
-shade except under those stuffy trees&mdash;and so do I.”</p>
-
-<p>“Do you really, Bee? I thought you thought it was so nice sitting under
-the trees&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“With all the <i>gnadige</i> Fraus knitting, and all the <i>wohlgeborne</i> Herrs
-smoking. No, indeed, I always hated it!” said Bee.</p>
-
-<p>She jumped up from where she had been sitting on a stool by her mother’s
-sofa, and took her hat, which she had thrown down on the table. It was a
-broad, flexible, Leghorn hat, bought in Florence, with a broad blue
-ribbon&mdash;the colour of her eyes, as had often been said&mdash;floating in two
-long streamers behind. She had a sash of the same colour round the
-simple waist of her white frock. That is how girls were dressed in the
-early days of Victoria. These were the days of simplicity, and people
-liked it, seeing it was the fashion, as much as they liked crinolines<a name="page_14" id="page_14"></a>
-and chignons when such ornamental arrangements “came in.” It does not
-become one period to boast itself over another, for fashion will still
-be lord&mdash;or lady&mdash;of all.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Kingsward looked with real pleasure at her pretty daughter,
-thinking how well she looked. She wore very nearly the same costume
-herself, and she knew that it also looked very well on her. Bee’s eyes
-were shining, blazing with brightness and happiness and love and fun and
-youth. She was not a creature of perfect features, or matchless beauty,
-as all the heroines were in the novels of her day, and she was conscious
-of a great many shortcomings from that high standard. She was not tall
-enough&mdash;which, perhaps, however, in view of the defective stature of Mr.
-Aubrey Leigh was not so great a disadvantage&mdash;and she was neither fair
-enough nor dark enough for a Minna or a Brenda, the definite and
-distinct blonde and brunette, which were the ideal of the time; and she
-was not at all aware that her irregularity, and her mingling of styles,
-and her possession of no style in particular, were her great charms. She
-was not a great<a name="page_15" id="page_15"></a> beauty, but she was a very pretty girl with the
-additional attraction of those blue diamonds of eyes, the sparkle of
-which, when my young lady was angry or when she was excited in any more
-pleasurable way, was a sight to see.</p>
-
-<p>“All that’s very well, my dear,” said Mrs. Kingsward, “but you’ve never
-answered my question: and I hope you’ll make quite, quite sure before
-it’s all settled that you do like Aubrey Leigh above everybody in the
-world.”</p>
-
-<p>“<i>A la bonne heure</i>,” said Bee; “you have called him Aubrey at last,
-without waiting to know what papa will say:” with which words she gave
-her mother a flying kiss, and was gone in a moment, thinking very
-little, it must be allowed, of what papa might say.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Kingsward lay still for a little, and thought it all over after Bee
-was gone. She knew a little better than the others what her Colonel was,
-and that there were occasions on which he was not so easy to deal with
-as all the young ones supposed. She thought it all over from the moment
-that young Mr. Leigh had appeared on the scene. What<a name="page_16" id="page_16"></a> a comfort it was
-to think that it was the Colonel himself who had introduced him! Of
-course, as Bee said, before presenting anyone to his wife and family,
-Colonel Kingsward would have ascertained, &amp;c., &amp;c. It was just how he
-would write no doubt. Still, a man may introduce another to his wife and
-family without being ready at once to accept him as a son-in-law. On the
-other hand, Colonel Kingsward knew well enough what is the possible
-penalty of such introductions. Young as Bee was, she had already
-attracted a good deal of attention, though this was the first time it
-had actually come to an offer. But Edward must surely have thought of
-that. She was, though it seemed so absurd, and though Bee had laughed at
-it, a little afraid of her husband. He had never had any occasion to be
-stern, yet he had it in him to be stern; and he would not hesitate to
-quench Bee’s young romance if he thought it right. And, on the other
-hand, Bee, though she was such a little thing, such a child, so full of
-fun and nonsense, had a spirit which would not yield as her mother’s
-did. Mrs. Kingsward drew another long<a name="page_17" id="page_17"></a> fluttering sigh before she got up
-reluctantly in obedience to her maid, who came in with that other white
-gown, not unlike Bee’s, over her arm, to dress her mistress. She would
-have liked to lie still a little longer, to have finished the book she
-was reading, to have thought over the situation&mdash;anything, indeed, to
-justify her in keeping still upon the couch and being lazy, as she
-called it. Poor little mother! She had not been lazy, nor had the chance
-of being lazy much in her life. She had not begun to guess why it was
-she liked it so much now.<a name="page_18" id="page_18"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_II" id="CHAPTER_II"></a>CHAPTER II.</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I have</span> now to explain how it was that Mr. Aubrey Leigh was so
-interesting and so melancholy, and thus awoke the friendship and
-compassion, and secured the ministrations of the Kingsward family. He
-was in deep mourning, for though he was only eight-and-twenty he was
-already a widower, and bereaved beside of his only child. Poor young
-man! He had married with every appearance of happiness and prosperity,
-but his wife had died at the end of the first year, leaving him with a
-baby on his inexperienced hands. He was a young man full of feeling,
-and, contrary to the advice of all his friends, he had shut himself up
-in his house in the country and dedicated himself to his child.
-Dedicated himself to a baby two months old!<a name="page_19" id="page_19"></a></p>
-
-<p>There was nobody who did not condemn this unnecessary self-sacrifice. He
-should have gone away; he should have left the child in the hands of its
-excellent nurse, under the supervision of that charming person who had
-been such a devoted nurse to dear Mrs. Leigh, and whom the desolate
-young widower had not the courage to send away from his house. Her
-presence there was a double reason, people said, why he should have gone
-away. For though his sorrow and trouble was so great that nobody for a
-moment supposed that he had any idea of such a thing, yet the presence
-of a lady, and of a lady still called by courtesy a young lady, though
-older than himself, and who could not be treated like a servant in his
-house, was embarrassing and not very seemly, everybody said. Suggestions
-were made to her that she should go away, but then she answered that she
-had nowhere to go to, and that she had promised to dear Amy never to
-forsake her child. The country ladies about who took an interest in the
-young man thought it was “just like” dear Amy, who had always been a
-rather<a name="page_20" id="page_20"></a> silly young woman, to exact such a promise, but that Miss Lance
-would be quite justified in not keeping it, seeing the child had plenty
-of people to look after her&mdash;her grandmother within reach and her father
-dedicating himself to her.</p>
-
-<p>Miss Lance, however, did not see her duty in the same way; indeed, after
-the poor little child died&mdash;and there was no doubt she had been
-invaluable during its illness, and devoted herself to it as she had done
-to its mother&mdash;she stayed on still at Leigh Court, though now at last
-poor Aubrey was persuaded to go away. The mind of the county was
-relieved beyond description when at last he departed on his travels.
-These good people did not at all want to get up any scandal in their
-midst. They did not very much blame Miss Lance for declining to give up
-a comfortable home. They only felt it was dreadfully awkward and that
-something should be done about it, though nobody knew what to do. He had
-left home nearly six months before he appeared at the Baths with that
-letter to Mrs. Kingsward in his pocket, and the change and the travel
-had done him good.<a name="page_21" id="page_21"></a></p>
-
-<p>A young man of twenty-eight cannot go mourning all the days of his life
-for a baby of eight months old, and he had already begun to “get over”
-the death of his wife before the second event occurred. This troublous
-beginning of his life had left him very sad, with something of the
-feeling of a victim, far more badly treated than most in the beginning
-of his career. But this is not like real grief, which holds a man’s
-heart with a grip of steel. And he was in the stage when a man is ready
-to be consoled when Bee’s blue eyes first flashed upon him. The
-Kingswards had received him in these circumstances with more <i>abandon</i>
-than they would have done in any other. He was so melancholy; his
-confidences, when he began to make them, were so touching; his waking up
-to interest and happiness so delightful to see. And thus, before anyone
-had thoroughly realized it, the deed was done. They knew nothing about
-Miss Lance&mdash;as how should they?&mdash;and what could she have had to do with
-it if they had known?</p>
-
-<p>So there really was nothing but that doubt of Colonel Kingsward’s
-approval to<a name="page_22" id="page_22"></a> alloy the pleasure of the party, and it was only Mrs.
-Kingsward who thought of it. Charlie pooh-poohed the idea altogether. “I
-think I should know my father better than anyone,” the young man said,
-with much scorn of his mother’s hesitation. He was very fond and very
-proud of his mother, but felt that as a man himself, he probably
-understood papa better than the ladies could. “Of course he will
-approve; why shouldn’t he approve? Leigh is a very decent fellow, though
-I don’t think all the world of him, as you girls do. Papa, of course,
-knew exactly what sort of a fellow he was; a little too quiet&mdash;not Bee’s
-sort at all. No, you may clamour as you like, but he’s not in the least
-Bee’s sort&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I’m supposed to prefer a noisy trooper, I believe,” said Bee.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, I should have said that was more like it&mdash;but mind you, the
-governor would never have sent us out a man here who was not good enough
-for anything. Oh, I understand the old boy!”</p>
-
-<p>“Charlie, how dare you?” cried his mother; but the horror was modified
-by a<a name="page_23" id="page_23"></a> laugh, for anything more unlike an old boy than Colonel Kingsward
-it would not have been very easy to conceive.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, mamma, you wouldn’t have me call him my honoured father, would
-you?” the young man said. He was at Oxford, and he thought himself on
-the whole not only by far the most solid and serious member of the
-present party, but on the whole rather more experienced in the world
-than the gentleman whom in the bosom of the family he still condescended
-to call “papa.”</p>
-
-<p>As for little Betty, who up to this time had been Bee’s shadow, and who
-had not yet begun to feel herself <i>de trop</i>, she, no more than her
-sister, was moved by any of these cares. She was wholly occupied in
-studying the new thing which had suddenly started into being before her
-eyes. Betty was of opinion that it was entirely got up for her amusement
-and instruction. When she and Bee were alone, she never ceased in her
-interrogatory. “Oh, Bee, when did you first begin to think about him
-like that? Oh, Bee, how did you first find out that he was thinking
-about you? Oh, Bee, don’t you<a name="page_24" id="page_24"></a> mind that he was once in love before?”
-Such were the questions that poured in an incessant stream into Bee’s
-ears. That young lady was equal to them all, and she was not unwilling
-to let her sister share more or less in the new enlightenment that had
-come to herself.</p>
-
-<p>“When did I first begin to think of him?” she said. “Oh, Betty, the
-first minute I saw him coming through the garden with Charlie to speak
-to mamma! There were all those horrid men about, you remember, in those
-gaudy uniforms, and their swords and spurs, and so forth&mdash;such dreadful
-bad taste in foreigners always to be in uniform&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“But, Bee,” cried Betty, “why, I’ve heard you say&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, never mind what you’ve heard me say! I’ve been silly, I suppose, in
-my day, like almost everybody. Aubrey says he cannot think how they can
-live, always done up in those hot, stiff clothes&mdash;none of the ease of
-Englishmen about them.”</p>
-
-<p>“Papa says they are such soldier-like men,” says little Betty, who had
-not been converted from the <i>regime</i> of the officers, like Bee.<a name="page_25" id="page_25"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Oh, well, papa&mdash;he is an officer himself, but he never wears his
-uniform when he can help it, you know.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well,” said Betty, “you may say what you like&mdash;for my part, I do love a
-nice uniform. I don’t want ever again to dance with a man in a black
-coat. But Bee, you’re too bad&mdash;you won’t say a word, and I want so to
-know how it all came about. What put it into your head? And what did you
-say to one another? And was it he that began first&mdash;or was it you?”</p>
-
-<p>“You little dreadful thing,” said Bee; “how could a girl ever begin? It
-shows how little you know! Of course he began; but we didn’t begin at
-all,” she said, after a pause, “it just came&mdash;all in a moment when I
-wasn’t thinking, and neither was he.”</p>
-
-<p>“Do you mean to say that he didn’t intend to propose to you?” said
-Betty, growing pale.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh!” said Bee, impatient, “as if proposing was all! Do you think he
-just came out with it point blank&mdash;‘Miss Kingsward, will you marry me?’&nbsp;”</p>
-
-<p>“Well,” said Betty: “what did he say then if he didn’t say that?”<a name="page_26" id="page_26"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Oh, you little goose!” said Bee.</p>
-
-<p>“I am sure if he had said ‘Oh, you little goose’ to me,” said Betty, “I
-should never have spoken a word to him again.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is no use talking to little girls,” said Bee, with a sigh. “You
-don’t understand; and, to be sure, how could you understand&mdash;at your age
-and all?”</p>
-
-<p>“Age!” said Betty, indignant, “there is but fifteen months between us,
-and I’ve always done everything with you. We’ve always had on new things
-together, and gone to the same places and everything. It is you that are
-very unkind now you have got engaged; and I do believe you like this big
-horrid man better than me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, you little goose!” said Bee, again.</p>
-
-<p>“No, it isn’t a big but a little, horrid man. I made a mistake,” said
-Betty, “not like Captain Kreutzner that you used to like so much. It’s
-small people you care for now; not your own nice people like me and
-mamma, but a man that you had never heard the name of when you first
-came here, and now you quote and praise him, and make the most
-ridiculous fuss about him, even to<a name="page_27" id="page_27"></a> Charlie, who is far
-nicer-looking!&mdash;and won’t even tell your sister what he says!”</p>
-
-<p>This argument came to so high a tone that mamma called out from her room
-to know what was amiss. “It does not become you girls to carry on your
-old scuffles and quarrels,” she said, “now that one of you, at least, is
-so grown up and about to take upon herself the responsibilities of
-life.”</p>
-
-<p>“Is Aubrey a responsibility?” Betty whispered in her sister’s ears.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, you little silly thing!” Bee replied; and presently Mrs.
-Kingsward’s maid came in to say that Mr. Leigh was in the sitting-room,
-and would Miss Bee go to him as her mistress was not ready; for this was
-the little fiction that was kept up in those days before Colonel
-Kingsward’s letter had been received. It will be seen, however, that it
-was but a fiction, and that as a matter of fact there was very little
-restraint put on the young people’s intercourse. “You must not consider
-that anything is settled; you must not think there’s any engagement,”
-Mrs. Kingsward had said. “Indeed, indeed, I cannot take upon me to
-sanction anything till<a name="page_28" id="page_28"></a> I hear from her papa.” But virtually they met as
-much as they liked, and even indulged in little talks apart, and
-meetings by themselves, before Mrs. Kingsward was ready; so that as a
-matter of fact this restriction did very little harm.</p>
-
-<p>And in due time Colonel Kingsward’s letter was received, and it was not
-unfavourable. The Colonel said that, on the whole, he should have
-preferred it had Mr. Leigh waited till they had all returned home. It
-would have been a seemly forbearance, and saved Mrs. Kingsward a great
-deal of anxiety; but as matters stood and as his dear wife approved, and
-he heard nothing but good of Mr. Leigh, he would not withdraw the
-provisional consent which she seemed to have given. “It will be
-expedient in the circumstances that you should all return home as soon
-as possible, that I may go into matters with the young man,” the Colonel
-added in that part of his letter which was not intended to be read to
-Aubrey Leigh. And he added, as Bee had prophesied, “You might have been
-sure that I should not introduce a young man to my<a name="page_29" id="page_29"></a> family, and to
-yourself, my dear, without ascertaining previously,” etc., etc., just as
-Bee had said. He added, “Of course I never contemplated anything of this
-sort: but one can never tell what may happen when young people are
-thrown together. The property is a good one, and the young man
-unexceptionable, from all I can hear.” Then Mrs. Kingsward’s mind was
-set at ease. It seemed to Bee that her father might have said something
-on the subject of her happiness, and acknowledged Aubrey to be something
-more than an unexceptionable young man. It was inconceivable, she
-thought to herself, how cool people are when they come to that age. The
-property good, and the young man unexceptionable&mdash;was that all? Did papa
-take no more interest than that? But at all events the engagement was
-now quite permitted and acknowledged, and they might walk out together
-all day, and dance together all night, without a word said; for which
-Bee forgave and instantly forgot&mdash;it was really of so little
-importance&mdash;the coolness of papa.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Kingsward’s “cure” was over, and<a name="page_30" id="page_30"></a> by this time most people were
-leaving the Bath. Our party made their preparations for leaving too, in
-the pleasantest way. It was not to be at all a rapid journey, which
-would not have been good for Mrs. Kingsward. They were to make their way
-at leisure from one beautiful old city to another across the breadth of
-Germany, staying a day here and a day there, travelling for the most
-part in a large, old-fashioned carriage, such as was the custom then,
-with a wide-hooded seat in front, like the <i>banquette</i> of a French
-diligence, in which two people could be extremely happy, seeing the
-scenery much better than those inside could do, or perhaps not seeing
-the scenery at all, but occupying each other quite as agreeably with the
-endless talk of lovers, which is not interesting to anybody but
-themselves. Before they set out upon this journey, however, which was to
-hold so great a place in Bee’s life, a little incident occurred to her
-which did not appear to be of very much consequence, but which made some
-impression on her mind at the time, and vaguely appeared afterwards to
-throw light on various other events. The<a name="page_31" id="page_31"></a> German Bath at which the
-little story of her love took place is surrounded with woods&mdash;woods of a
-kind that are never seen anywhere else, though they are the special
-feature of German Baths. They are chiefly composed of fir trees, and
-they are arranged upon the most strictly mathematical principles, with
-that precision which is dear to the German mind, row upon row standing
-close together, as if they had been stuck in so at their present height,
-with so many cubit feet of air to each, as in the London lodging-houses.
-They are traversed by broad roads, with benches at intervals, and at
-each corner there is a wooden board on which is painted indications how
-to find the nearest <i>restauration</i> where beer is to be had, and the veal
-of the country&mdash;for the German, in his hours of ease and amusement, has
-continual occasion to be “restored.”</p>
-
-<p>Bee had gone out early in the morning to make a little sketch of an
-opening in the trees through which a village spire was visible. There
-were not many points for the artist in landscape, especially one of such
-moderate powers as Bee, and she was very<a name="page_32" id="page_32"></a> anxious to finish this to
-present it, I need scarcely say, to Aubrey, as a memento of the place.
-Probably there was some other sentimental reason&mdash;such as that they had
-first spoken words of special meaning there, or had first exchanged
-looks that were of importance in their idyll, or some other incident of
-equal weight. She was seated on one of the benches, with her little
-colour box and bottle of water, giving the finishing touches to her
-sketch. Sooth to say, Bee was no great performer, and the ranks of the
-dark trees standing arithmetically apart to permit of that little
-glimpse of distance, were too much for her. They looked in her sketch
-like two dark green precipices rather than like trees, and had come to a
-very difficult point, when a lady coming along by one of the side walks,
-round the corner past the <i>restauration</i>, suddenly sat down by Bee’s
-side and startled her a little. She was not a girl who was easily
-frightened, but the suddenness of the apparition out of the silent
-morning when she had thought nobody was in sight was a little startling
-and made her hand shake.<a name="page_33" id="page_33"></a></p>
-
-<p>“I hope I am not intruding upon you,” the lady said.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, no!” said Bee, looking up with her bright face. She was as fresh as
-the morning in her broad Leghorn hat with the blue ribbon, and her eyes
-that danced and sparkled. The stranger by her side was much older than
-Bee. She was a handsome woman; dark, with fine eyes, too, a sidelong
-look in them, and a curious half smile which was like La Gioconda, that
-famous picture Bee had seen in the Louvre, as we all have. She thought
-of La Gioconda at once, when she looked up into the lady’s face. She was
-entirely dressed in black, and there could not have been found anywhere
-a more perfect contrast to Bee.</p>
-
-<p>They got into conversation quite easily, for Bee was a girl who loved to
-talk. The lady gave her several hints about her little picture which Bee
-knew enough to know were dictated by superior knowledge, and then they
-got talking quite naturally about the place and the people who were
-there. After they had discussed the society and the number of English
-people at the Bath, and<a name="page_34" id="page_34"></a> Bee had disclosed the hotel at which she was
-staying, and many details of her innocent life, which she was not at all
-conscious of disclosing&mdash;the stranger began to inquire about various
-people. It was not by any means at once that she introduced the name of
-Leigh; not indeed till she had been over the Reynoldses, and the
-Gainsboroughs, and the Collinses, under Bee’s exultant guidance and fine
-power of narrative; then she said tentatively, that there was she
-believed, at one of the hotels, a family of Leighs.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh!” cried Bee, her countenance flushing over with a sudden brilliant
-delightful blush, which seemed to envelop her from top to toe. She had
-been looking up into her companion’s face so that the stranger got the
-full benefit of this sudden resplendent change of colour. She then
-turned very demurely to her sketch, and said meekly, “I don’t know any
-family, but there is a Mr. Leigh at our hotel.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh,” said the lady, but in a very different tone from Bee’s startled
-“oh!” She said it coldly, as if recording a fact. “I thought,” she said,
-“it was the Leighs of Hurstleigh,<a name="page_35" id="page_35"></a> friends of mine. I may have been
-deceived by seeing the name in the lists.”</p>
-
-<p>“But I think, indeed I am sure, that Mr. Aubrey Leigh is connected with
-the Leighs of Hurstleigh,” Bee said.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, a young man, a widower, an inconsolable; I think I remember hearing
-of him. Is that the man?”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t know if he is an inconsolable,” cried Bee, with a quick
-movement of anger and then she thought how foolish that was, for of
-course a stranger like this could have no unkind meaning. She added with
-great gravity, “It is quite true that he has been married before.”</p>
-
-<p>Poor little Bee, she was not at all aware how she was betraying herself.
-She was more vexed and indignant than words can say, when the woman (who
-after all could not be a lady) burst into a laugh. “Oh! I think I can
-see how matters stand with Aubrey Leigh,” this impertinent intruder
-cried.<a name="page_36" id="page_36"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III"></a>CHAPTER III.</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">It</span> was just two days after the interview in the wood described above,
-that the Kingsward party got under weigh for home, accompanied, I need
-not say, by Aubrey Leigh. Bee had not told him of that chance meeting,
-restrained I do not know by what indefinite feeling that he would not
-care to hear of it, and also by the sensation that she had as good as
-told the lady, who was so disagreeable and impertinent as to laugh, what
-change had taken place in Aubrey’s sentiments, and what she had herself
-to do with that change. It was so silly, oh, so silly of her, and yet
-she had said nothing, or next to nothing. And there was no reason why
-she should not have said whatever she pleased, now that the engagement
-was fully acknowledged<a name="page_37" id="page_37"></a> and known; indeed, if that woman were in any
-society at all, she must have heard of it, seeing that, as Bee was
-aware, not without pleasure, it had afforded a very agreeable diversion
-to the floating community, a pleasant episode in the tittle-tattle of
-the gardens and the wells. Bee had no absurd objection to being talked
-of. She knew that in her condition of life, which was so entirely
-satisfactory as a condition, everything that concerned a family was
-talked over and universally known. It was a thing inevitable to a
-certain position, and a due homage of society to its members. But
-somehow she did not mention it to Aubrey, nor, indeed, to anyone, which
-was a very unusual amount of reticence. She did not even give him the
-sketch, though it was finished. She had been quite grateful for that
-person’s hints at the time, and eagerly had taken advantage of them to
-improve her drawing; but it seemed to her, when she looked at it now,
-that it was not her own at all, that the other hand was so visible in it
-that it would be almost dishonest to call it hers. This, of course, was
-wholly fantastic,<a name="page_38" id="page_38"></a> for even supposing that person to have given valuable
-hints, she had never touched the sketch, and Bee alone had carried them
-out. But, anyhow, her heart sickened at it, and she thrust it away at
-the very bottom of the box that Moulsey was packing. She had no desire
-to see the horrid thing again.</p>
-
-<p>In a day or two, however, Bee had altogether forgotten that interview in
-the wood. She had so many things to occupy her mind. There were few
-railways in those days, and the party had a long way to travel before
-they came to Cologne, where that method of travelling began. They all
-felt that common life would re-commence there and their delightful
-wandering would be over. In the meantime, there was a long interval of
-pleasure before them. The early breakfast at the hotel in the first
-hours of the autumnal morning, the fun of packing everyone away in the
-big coach, the books to be brought out to fill up corners, both of time
-and space, and “Murray” then alone in his glory, with no competitive
-American, no Badæker, no Joanne, to share his reign&mdash;spread out open at
-the right place, so that mamma<a name="page_39" id="page_39"></a> inside should be able to lay her finger
-at once upon any village or castle that struck her&mdash;and above all the
-contrivances to be carried out for securing the <i>banquette</i>, as Bee
-said, for “ourselves,” made a lively beginning. Charlie and Betty
-sometimes managed to secure this favourite place if the attention of the
-others flagged for a moment, and though mamma generally interposed with
-a nod or a whisper to restore it to the privileged pair, sometimes she
-was mischievous too, and consented to their deprivation, and desired
-them for once to keep her company inside. She generally, however,
-repented of this before the day was over, and begged that their
-favourite seat might be restored to them.</p>
-
-<p>“For they are really no fun at all,” the poor lady said. “I might as
-well have two images from Madame Tussaud’s.”</p>
-
-<p>“It had been a little hard upon Aubrey at the moment of their departure
-to find half the garrison round the carriage, and bouquets enough to
-fill a separate vehicle thrust into every corner, the homage of those
-warriors to the gracious ladies. He had been very cross,<a name="page_40" id="page_40"></a> and had made a
-great exhibition of himself, especially when Captain Kreutzner’s faggot
-of forget-me-nots, tied with a ribbon like that on Bee’s hat, had been
-presented with indescribable looks. What did the fellow mean by bringing
-forget-me-nots? He wanted to pitch it out of the window as soon as they
-were fairly started.</p>
-
-<p>“What an idiotic custom!” he cried. “What do the fools think you want
-with such loads of flowers when you are starting on a journey?”</p>
-
-<p>“Why, it is just then you do want them,” cried Betty, who had a dozen or
-so to her own share, “to smell sweet and show us how much our friends
-think of us.”</p>
-
-<p>“They will not smell sweet very long, and then what will your friends
-think of you?” said the angry lover.</p>
-
-<p>Was it possible that Bee was detaching a little knot of the blue flowers
-to put in her waistband? Bee, Bee! his own property, who had no right so
-much as to look at another man’s flowers! And what did she do, seeing
-the cloud upon his face, but arrange another little bouquet, which,
-with<a name="page_41" id="page_41"></a> her sweetest smile&mdash;the little coquette&mdash;she endeavoured to put
-into his, Aubrey’s, button-hole! He snatched them out of her hand in a
-sort of fury. “Do you want me never to forget that heavy brute of a
-German?” he cried, in his indignation. “You may put him near your heart,
-but I should like to kick him!” These very natural sentiments made Bee
-laugh&mdash;which was cruel: but then poor Captain Kreutzner had been blotted
-out of her life some time ago, and knew his fate, and had really no
-right whatever to present her with these particular flowers. His lovely
-bouquet with its blue ribbon was given to a girl in the first village,
-and awakened the still more furious jealousy of another swain who was
-less easily appeased than Aubrey; but this <i>ricochet</i> was not thought of
-by the first and principal pair.</p>
-
-<p>There was not perhaps so many remarkable features in that journey as if
-it had been through Italy. There were great plains to traverse, where
-the chief sights were cottages and farmhouses, women going by with great
-loads of freshly cut grass full of flowers on their heads, fodder for
-the home-dwelling<a name="page_42" id="page_42"></a> cows&mdash;or men carrying their hops clinging to the
-pole, to be picked at home, or long straggling branches of the tobacco
-plant; and in the evening the postillion would whip up his horses, and
-Charlie in the <i>banquette</i>, or John, the manservant, in the rumble,
-would tootle upon a horn which the former had acquired clandestinely
-before the party set out&mdash;as they dashed through a village or little
-town with lighted windows, affording them many a flying peep of the
-domestic life of those tranquil places. And in the middle of the day
-they stopped to rest somewhere, where the invariable veal was to be
-found at some Guest-house a little better than the ordinary, where
-perhaps a bigger village stood with all its high peaked stream: and at
-night rattled into an old walled town with shadowy high houses which
-belonged to the fourteenth century, and had not changed a whit since
-that time. There they stayed a day or two, varying the confinement of
-the coach by a course through everything that was to be seen, setting
-out in a party through the roughly-paved streets, but parting company
-before long, so that Aubrey and<a name="page_43" id="page_43"></a> Bee would find themselves alone in the
-shelter of a church or in an insignificant corner by the walls, while
-the others pursued their sightseeing conscientiously.</p>
-
-<p>“As for me, what I like is the general aspect,” said Bee, with an air of
-superiority. “I don’t care to poke into every corner, and Aubrey knows
-the history, which is the chief thing.”</p>
-
-<p>“Are they talking all the time of the history?” said Betty, overawed.</p>
-
-<p>But this perhaps, was not the opinion of Charlie and mamma. No, they did
-not care very much for the history. People are bad travellers in that
-stage of life. They are too much interested in their own history. They
-went about like a pair of Philistines through all these ancient streets,
-talking of nothing but the things of to-day. The most serious part of
-their talk was about the home in the depths of England in which they
-were henceforth to spend their lives. Aubrey had ideas about
-re-furnishing&mdash;about making everything new. It would be impossible to
-tell the reader how bad was the taste of the time, and with what
-terrible articles of<a name="page_44" id="page_44"></a> furniture he proposed to replace the spindle legs
-and marquetry of his grandfathers. But then these things were the
-fashion, and supposed to be the best things of the time. To hear them
-talking of sofas and curtains, and of the colour for the boudoir and the
-hangings of the drawing-room in the midst of all those graceful old
-places, was inconceivable. You would have said the stupidest,
-unimpressionable pair, talking of ugly modern English furniture, when
-they should have been noting the old world of Nuremberg&mdash;the unchanging
-mediæval city. But you must remember that the furniture was only a
-symbol of their love and their new life, and all the blessedness of
-being together, and the endless delights of every day. The sofas and the
-curtains meant the <i>Vita Nuova</i>, and the refurnishing of the old house a
-beautiful fabric of all the honour and the joy of life.</p>
-
-<p>Then came the great river, and the progress down its shining stream, and
-between those beautiful banks, where again they made several pauses to
-enjoy the scenery. The Rhine is not now the river it was then. It was
-still the great river of<a name="page_45" id="page_45"></a> romance in those days&mdash;Byron had been there,
-and the young people remembered Roland and his tower, with his love in
-the white convent opposite, and felt a shudder at the thought of the
-Lorelei as they floated under the high and gloomy bank. I doubt,
-however, whether the lovers thought much even of these things. They were
-busy just now about the gardens, which Bee was fully minded to remodel
-and fill with everything that was new and delightful in the way of
-flowers.</p>
-
-<p>“I shall have masses of colour about the terrace, and every spot
-covered. I wonder which you like best, majolica vases or rustic
-baskets?” Bee was saying, when her mother called her to point out the
-Platz and Bishop Hatto’s tower.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, yes, mamma, it’s very pretty. But you like clematis, Aubrey, for
-the balustrade&mdash;to wind in and out of the pillars. Yes, yes, I can see
-it well enough. I like every kind of clematis, even the common one, the
-traveller’s joy&mdash;and it would hang down, you know, over that old bit of
-wall you told me of. Do go forward, Aubrey, and let<a name="page_46" id="page_46"></a> them see you are
-taking an interest. I do see it all quite well, and it is very romantic,
-and we are quite enjoying it I can assure you, mamma.”</p>
-
-<p>This was how they made their way down stream; in the moonlight nights
-they ceased to talk of practical matters, and went back to the history
-of their loves.</p>
-
-<p>“Do you remember, Bee, that first time in the wood&mdash;&mdash;?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Aubrey, don’t you recollect that drive coming back in the
-dark&mdash;before I knew&mdash;&mdash;?”</p>
-
-<p>“But you always did know from the very beginning, Bee?”</p>
-
-<p>“Well, perhaps I suspected&mdash;and used to think&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You darling, what did you think?&mdash;and did you really care&mdash;as early as
-that?”</p>
-
-<p>They went on like this whatever happened outside, giving a careless
-glance at the heights, at the towers, at the robbers’ castle above and
-the little villages below; not so much as looking at them, and yet
-remembering them ever after, enclosing the flow of their young lives, as
-it were, in that strong<a name="page_47" id="page_47"></a> flowing of the Rhine, noting nothing and yet
-seeing everything with the double sight which people possess at the
-highest moment and crisis of their career. They came at length to
-Cologne, where this enchanted voyage was more or less to end. To be
-sure, they were still to be together; but only in the railway, with all
-the others round them, hearing more or less what they said. They said
-good-bye to the Rhine with a little sentiment, a delightful little
-sadness full of pleasure.</p>
-
-<p>“Shall we ever be so happy again?” said Bee, with a sigh.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, yes, my sweet, a hundred times, and happier, and happier,” said the
-young man; and thus they were assured it was to be.</p>
-
-<p>I don’t think any of them ever forgot that arrival at Cologne. They came
-into sight of the town just in the evening, when the last glow of sunset
-was still burning upon the great river, but lights beginning to show in
-the windows, and glimmering reflected in the water. The Cathedral was
-not completed then, and a crane, like some strange weird animal stood
-out against the sky upon the<a name="page_48" id="page_48"></a> top of the tower. The hotel to which they
-were going had a covered terrace upon the river with lights gleaming
-through the green leaves. They decided they would have their table
-there, and dine with all that darkling panorama before their eyes
-through the veil of the foliage, the glowing water, the boats moving and
-passing, with now and then a raft coming down from the upper stream, and
-the bridge of boats opening to give passage to a fuming fretting
-steamboat. Aubrey and Bee went hand in hand up the steps; nobody noticed
-in the half dark how close they were together. They parted with a close
-pressure of warm hands.</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t be long, darling,” he said, as they parted, only for a moment,
-only to prepare a little for the evening, to slip into a fresh dress, to
-take out a new ribbon, to make one’s youthful self as fair as such
-unnecessary adjuncts permitted.</p>
-
-<p>But what did Aubrey care for a new ribbon? The only blue he thought of
-was that in Bee’s eyes.</p>
-
-<p>I do not think she was more than ten minutes over these little changes.
-She<a name="page_49" id="page_49"></a> dressed like a flash of lightning, Betty said, who could not find
-her own things half so quickly, Moulsey being occupied with mamma. Such
-a short moment not worth counting, and yet enough, more than enough, to
-change a whole life!</p>
-
-<p>Bee ran down as light as air to the sitting-room which had been engaged
-for the party. She felt sure that Aubrey would hurry, too, so as to have
-a word before dinner, before the rest were ready&mdash;as if the whole day
-had not been one long word, running through everything. She came lightly
-to the door of the room in her fresh frock and her blue ribbons, walking
-on air, knowing no shadow of any obstacle before her or cloud upon the
-joyful triumphant sky. She did not even hear the sound of the subdued
-voices, her faint little sob, strangest of all sounds at such a moment,
-which seemed to come out to meet her as she opened the door. Bee opened
-it wondering only if Aubrey were there, thinking of some jibe to address
-to him about the length of time men took to their toilettes, if she
-happened to be ready first.<a name="page_50" id="page_50"></a></p>
-
-<p>She was very much startled by what she saw. Her mother, still in her
-travelling dress, sat by the table with a letter open in her hands. She
-had not made any preparation for dinner&mdash;she, usually so dainty, so
-anxious to get rid of the cloaks and of the soils of the journey. She
-had taken off her hat, which lay on the table, but was still enveloped
-in the shawl which she had put on to keep off the evening chills. As for
-Aubrey, he was exactly as he had been when they parted with him, except
-that all the light had gone out of his face. He was very pale, and he,
-too, had a letter in his hand. He uttered a stifled exclamation when he
-saw Bee at the door, and, lifting his arms as though in protest against
-something intolerable, walked away to the other end of the room.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Bee,” said Mrs. Kingsward, “Oh, go away, my dear, go away! I
-mean&mdash;get something to eat, you and Charlie, and Betty, and then get to
-bed. Get to bed! I am too tired to take anything, and I am going
-upstairs at once.”</p>
-
-<p>“I thought you had been upstairs, mamma,<a name="page_51" id="page_51"></a> half-an-hour ago. What is the
-matter? You look like a ghost, and so does Aubrey. Has anything
-happened? Mamma, you won’t look at me, and Aubrey turns his back. What
-have I done? Is it anything about me?”</p>
-
-<p>“What nonsense, child!” said Mrs. Kingsward, with a pretence at a smile.
-“What could you have to do with it? We have both&mdash;Mr. Leigh and
-myself&mdash;found letters, and we are busy reading them. I am sure the
-dinner must be served. We ordered it in the balcony, don’t you remember?
-Run away and make Charlie and Betty sit down at once. I am too tired.
-Moulsey will run down in a little and get something for me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Mamma,” said Bee, “you cannot make up a story. Something has happened,
-I am sure of it; and it is something about me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Nonsense, child! Go away and have your dinner. I would come if I could.
-Don’t you see what a budget of letters I have got? And some of them I
-must answer to-night.”</p>
-
-<p>“Have you letters, too, Aubrey?” said Bee, in her amazement, standing
-still as she had paused, arrested by the sight of them, just within the
-door.<a name="page_52" id="page_52"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Bee, I must beg you will not put any questions; go and do what I tell
-you; your brother and sister will be coming downstairs. Yes, of course,
-you can see that Mr. Leigh has his letters to read as well as I.”</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Leigh! I wonder if we have all gone mad, or what is the matter?
-Aubrey! tell me&mdash;you, at least, if mamma won’t. You must have had a
-quarrel. Mamma, why do you call him Mr. Leigh?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, for goodness sake, Bee, go away.”</p>
-
-<p>“I am not going away,” cried the girl. “You have had a quarrel about
-something. Come, mamma, you must not quarrel with Aubrey&mdash;if he has done
-something wrong or said something silly, I will answer for him, he never
-intended it. Aubrey, what do you mean, sir, turning your back both on
-mamma and me? Come here, quick, and ask her pardon, and say you will
-never do it again.”</p>
-
-<p>Poor little Bee’s heart was fluttering, but she would not allow herself
-to believe there was anything really wrong. She went close up to her
-mother and stood by her, with a hand upon her shoulder. “Aubrey!” she
-said, “never mind if you are wrong or not,<a name="page_53" id="page_53"></a> come and beg mamma’s pardon,
-and she will forgive you. There must not&mdash;there must not&mdash;oh, it is too
-ridiculous!&mdash;be anything wrong between mamma and you. Aubrey!”</p>
-
-<p>He turned round slowly and faced them both with a face so pale that Bee
-stopped short with a gasp, and could not say a word more. Mrs. Kingsward
-had buried her face in her hands. Bee looked from one to the other with
-a dismay which she could not explain to herself. “Oh, what is the
-matter? What is the matter?” she said.<a name="page_54" id="page_54"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IV" id="CHAPTER_IV"></a>CHAPTER IV.</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">There</span> was no merry dinner that night in the verandah of the hotel under
-the clinging wreaths of green. Mrs. Kingsward went up to her room still
-with her heavy shawl about her shoulders which she had forgotten, though
-it added something to her discomfort&mdash;followed by Bee, pale and rigid,
-offering no help, following her mother like an angry shadow. Charlie and
-Betty met them on the stairs and stood aside in consternation, unable to
-conceive what had happened. Mrs. Kingsward gave them a sort of troubled
-smile and said: “Get your dinner, dears; don’t wait for us. I am too
-tired to come down to-night.”</p>
-
-<p>“But, mamma&mdash;&mdash;” they both began in remonstrance.<a name="page_55" id="page_55"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Go down and get your dinner,” said Mrs. Kingsward, peremptorily.</p>
-
-<p>As for Bee, she did not look at them at all. Her eyes were fierce with
-some sentiment which Betty could not divine, and angry, blazing, as if
-they might have set light to the hotel.</p>
-
-<p>Little Betty pressed against Charlie’s side as they went down, startled
-and alarmed. “Bee has had a quarrel with mamma,” she whispered, in tones
-of awe.</p>
-
-<p>“That’s impossible,” said Charlie.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, no, it’s not impossible. There was once&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>It comforted them both a little in the awful circumstances that such a
-thing had perhaps happened before. They went very silently and much cast
-down to that table in the verandah, whither obsequious waiters beckoned
-them, and contemplated with dismay all the plates laid, all the glitter
-of the lamps and the glasses.</p>
-
-<p>“I suppose we must not wait for them as they said so,” said Charlie,
-sitting down in his place at the bottom of the table. “Tell Mr.
-Leigh&mdash;that is the other gentleman&mdash;that we are ready.”<a name="page_56" id="page_56"></a></p>
-
-<p>“The other gentleman, sir,” said the waiter, who was the pride of the
-establishment for his English, “has gone out.”</p>
-
-<p>“Gone out!” said Charlie. He could only stare at Betty and she at him,
-not knowing what to think.</p>
-
-<p>“He has had his letters, too, sir,” said the waiter in a significant
-tone.</p>
-
-<p>His letters! What could that have to do with it? Charlie also had had
-his letters, one of them a bill which he did not view with any
-satisfaction; but even at twenty-one a man already learns to disguise
-his feelings, and sits down to dinner cheerfully though he has received
-a bill by the post. Charlie’s mind at first could not perceive any
-connection between Bee’s withdrawal upstairs and Aubrey’s disappearance.
-It was Betty who suggested, sitting down very close to him, that it
-looked as if Aubrey and Bee had quarrelled too.</p>
-
-<p>“Perhaps that is what it is,” she said, as if she had found out a
-satisfactory reason. “Lovers always quarrel; and mamma will have taken
-Aubrey’s part, and Bee will be so angry, and feel as if she could never
-forgive him. There, that is what it must be.”<a name="page_57" id="page_57"></a></p>
-
-<p>“A man may quarrel with his sweetheart,” said Charlie, severely, “but he
-needn’t spoil other people’s dinner for that;” however, they comforted
-themselves that this was the most likely explanation, and that all would
-come right in the morning. And they were very young and hungry, having
-eaten nothing since the veal at one o’clock. And these two made on the
-whole a very satisfactory meal.</p>
-
-<p>The scene upstairs was very different. Mrs. Kingsward sent Moulsey away
-on pretence of getting her some tea, and then turned to her daughter who
-stood by the dressing-table and stared blankly, without seeing anything,
-into those mysterious depths of the glass which are so suggestive to
-people in trouble. She said, faintly, “Bee, I would so much rather you
-would not ask me any more questions to-night.”</p>
-
-<p>“That is,” said Bee, “you would like to send me away to be miserable by
-myself without even knowing what it is, while you will take your
-sleeping draught and forget it. How can you be so selfish, mamma? And
-you have made my Aubrey join in the conspiracy<a name="page_58" id="page_58"></a> against me&mdash;my Aubrey
-who belongs to me as papa does to you. If you are against us it is all
-very well, though I can’t imagine why you should be against us&mdash;but at
-least you need not interfere between Aubrey and me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, my dear child, my poor darling!” said Mrs. Kingsward, wringing her
-hands.</p>
-
-<p>“It is all very well to call me your poor child, when it is you that are
-making me poor,” said Bee.</p>
-
-<p>She kept moving a little, first on one foot then on the other, but
-always gazing into the glass which presented the image of an excited
-girl, very pale, but lit up with a sort of blaze of indignation, and
-unable to keep still. It was not that girl’s face, however, that Bee was
-gazing at, but at the dim world of space beyond in which there were
-faint far-away reflections of the light and the world. “And if you think
-you will get rid of me like this, and hang me up till to-morrow without
-knowing what it is, you are mistaken, mamma. I will not leave you until
-you have told me. What is it? What has papa got in his head? What does
-he say in that<a name="page_59" id="page_59"></a> horrid&mdash;horrid letter? I wish I had known when I gave it
-to you I should have thrown it into the river instead of ever letting it
-come into your hands.”</p>
-
-<p>“Bee, you must know that this passion is very wrong and very improper.
-You ought not to face me like that, and demand an answer. I am your
-mother,” said Mrs. Kingsward, but with a falter which was all unlike
-that assumption of authority, “and I have no need to tell you anything
-more than I think is for your good.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah! I know where that comes from,” cried Bee; “that’s papa’s thunder!
-that’s what he has told you to say! You don’t believe, yourself, that
-you have a right to hang up a poor girl over some dreadful, dreadful
-abyss, when she was so happy and never suspected anything.” Here Bee’s
-voice faltered for a moment, but she quickly recovered herself. “And to
-drag her away from the one person that could support her, and to cut the
-ground from under her feet, and never to tell her what it means!”</p>
-
-<p>It was at this point that Moulsey, with a little discreet cough to
-herald her approach,<a name="page_60" id="page_60"></a> came into the room, bearing a tray with tea, and a
-little cover from which came a faint but agreeable odour. Mrs. Kingsward
-was in great trouble about her child, but she was much exhausted and in
-want of physical support, and it did seem to her hard that she might not
-be permitted to eat the smallest of cutlets before embarking on a scene
-such as she knew this would be. Oh, why didn’t papa come and say it
-himself, when there was so much that was dreadful to say?</p>
-
-<p>“Shall I fetch something for Miss Bee, too?” said Moulsey. “It ain’t a
-good thing for a young creature to go without her dinner. If she’s not
-going down, ma’am, as would be much the best, I’ll just run and fetch a
-little something for Miss Bee too.”</p>
-
-<p>“Indeed, indeed, Bee, Moulsey is right. Think how miserable the others
-will feel all alone, and thinking something has happened. Do go down,
-darling, and strengthen yourself with a little food, and take a glass of
-wine just for once to please me. And after that you shall be told
-everything&mdash;all that I know.”</p>
-
-<p>Bee grew paler and paler, standing there<a name="page_61" id="page_61"></a> before the glass, and her eyes
-blazed more and more. “It is as bad as that, then!” she said under her
-breath to herself, and then went away from where she was standing to the
-further end of the room. “I shall wait here, mamma, till you have had
-your tea. I know you want it. Oh, go away Moulsey! Let me alone! No, you
-shall not bring me anything! or, if you do, I will throw it out of the
-window,” she said, stamping her foot. The dark end of the room seemed
-suddenly lighted up by a sort of aurora borealis, with the fire of poor
-Bee’s burning eyes and the flashes here and there of her white
-frock&mdash;oh, poor white frock! put on in the sunshine of life and
-happiness to please her love, and now turned into a sort of sacrificial
-robe.</p>
-
-<p>“Take it away, Moulsey; I can’t eat anything&mdash;I can’t, indeed&mdash;no more
-than Miss Bee&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“But you must, ma’am,” said Moulsey. “Miss Bee’s young; she’s had
-nothing to drain away her strength. But it’s far different with you,
-after all your family and so weak as you are. If Miss Bee were a real
-good girl, as I always thought her, she’d go away and<a name="page_62" id="page_62"></a> get something
-herself just for her poor mamma’s sake, and leave you alone for a moment
-to get a little peace and rest.”</p>
-
-<p>“There is no rest for me,” murmured the poor lady. “Oh, papa, papa, why
-didn’t you come and tell them yourself?”</p>
-
-<p>These piteous tones went to Bee’s heart. They moved her half with
-contempt, half with compassion&mdash;with something of that high indignant
-toleration of weakness which is one kind of pity. If mamma could eat and
-drink at such a moment, why shouldn’t she be left to do it? The girl
-started up and left the room in the quick flashing impulse of her
-passion. She walked up and down in the corridor outside, her arms folded
-over her high-beating, tumultuous heart. Yes, no doubt she was going to
-be miserable, all her happiness was cut down and withered away, but in
-her present passionate impulse of resistance and gathering of all her
-forces to resist the catastrophe, which she did not understand, it could
-scarcely be said that she was wretched yet. What was it&mdash;what was it?
-she was saying to herself. It might still be something that would pass
-away, which<a name="page_63" id="page_63"></a> would be overcome by the determined, impassioned stand
-against it, which Bee felt that it was in her to make. The thing that
-was worst of all, that stole away her courage, was that Aubrey had
-failed her. He should have been there by her side whatever happened. He
-ought not to have abandoned her. No doubt he thought it was more
-delicate, more honourable, more something or other; and that it was his
-duty to leave her to brave it alone. It must have been one of those
-high-flown notions of honour that men have. Honour! to leave a girl to
-fight for herself and him, alone&mdash;but, no doubt, that was what had
-seemed right in his eyes. Bee walked up and down in the half-lighted
-passage, sometimes almost pushing against someone going up or down,
-waiters or chambermaids or surprised guests, who looked after her when
-she had passed; but she did not take any notice of them, and she heard
-as she passed her mother’s door little sounds of tea-cups and dishes,
-and Moulsey’s voice saying “A little more,” and her mother’s faint
-replies. Poor mamma! After all, what ever it was, it could not be her
-affair as it<a name="page_64" id="page_64"></a> was Bee’s. She would be unhappy about it, but not all
-unhappy. She had the others, who were all right. She had papa. It would
-not shatter her to pieces even if one of the children was to be
-shipwrecked. It was the shipwrecked one only who would be broken to
-pieces. For the first time in her life Bee felt the poignant sensation,
-the jealous pride, the high, desolate satisfaction of suffering. The
-others could all eat and do the ordinary things. She was elevated over
-all that, silent as on a Peak in Darien. She felt almost a kind of
-dreadful pleasure in the situation, smiling to herself at the sounds of
-her mother’s little meal. She could dine while Bee was miserable. They
-could all dine&mdash;Charlie (which was natural), Betty, even Aubrey. She had
-no doubt that he, too, must be seated, feeling as a man does that dinner
-must go on whatever happens, at the table downstairs.</p>
-
-<p>After a while, which seemed a long time to Bee, Moulsey came out with
-the tray. She was startled, and exclaimed under her breath at the
-appearance of the girl walking up and down in the corridor: “I did
-think<a name="page_65" id="page_65"></a> you would have had the sense to go and join the others, Miss
-Bee.” Bee was too much uplifted, too distant on her high pinnacle of
-martyrdom, to make any reply, but when Moulsey ventured to add a word of
-advice, to the effect that she must be careful of her mamma and not
-weary her with questions and she so tired and so weak, the girl flashed
-forth all her heart of indignation. “She has eaten her cutlet, it
-appears,” cried Bee. “I should think she may answer my questions.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh!” cried the maid, who had the privileges of an old servant, “you
-have got a heart without pity. You are just like your papa!”</p>
-
-<p>Bee swept past her into the room, where poor Mrs. Kingsward, who after
-all had eaten but a morsel, sat lying back in an easy chair awaiting the
-dreadful conflict which she knew was coming. Poor lady, she had lost all
-her brightness, that pretty grace of the young mother among her grown up
-children, which prompted so many compliments. She lay back in her easy
-chair, feeling as she said “any age”&mdash;as old as any woman on the edge of
-the grave, not knowing how she was<a name="page_66" id="page_66"></a> to bear the onslaught that was
-coming, and how she was to say what had to be said. He had borne it far
-better than Bee&mdash;poor Aubrey, poor Aubrey! whom she must not call Aubrey
-any more. He had not denied anything, he had fallen as it were at her
-feet, like a house that had been undermined and had no sound
-foundations, but Bee was different. Bee was a tower that had
-foundations&mdash;a girl that was able to stand up even to papa, and why&mdash;why
-had he not come to give forth his sentence in his own way?</p>
-
-<p>Bee came forward flashing into the light, in that white frock which
-shone, and with those eyes that blazed through all the neutral tints in
-the room. She did not sit down, which would have been a little relief,
-but seized a chair and stood with her hand upon the back, leaning upon
-it.</p>
-
-<p>“I hope, mamma,” she said, pitiless, “that you liked your tea, and ate
-something&mdash;and that you are better now.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Bee!” cried the poor lady; if there is one reproach more dreadful
-than another it is this of being able to eat when you ought<a name="page_67" id="page_67"></a> to be
-overwhelmed with trouble.” Mrs. Kingsward could scarcely keep from
-crying at the imputation. And Bee, I fear, knew that it was the
-unkindest thing that could be said.</p>
-
-<p>“Now, mamma,” she resumed, almost stonily, “it is time that you should
-tell me what has happened. We arrived here all quite happy&mdash;it is just
-an hour ago&mdash;&mdash;” here Bee’s voice shook a little, but she commanded it
-with an effort&mdash;“I ran up to dress for dinner, and when I came back in
-about ten minutes I found you and Aubrey&mdash;with your letters&mdash;looking as
-if you had both been dead and buried while I was away. You wouldn’t
-answer me, and he never said a word. You had done something to him in
-that little time to make him turn away from me, and yet you will not
-tell me what it is. Here I am alone,” said Bee, once more with a quiver
-in her voice. “Aubrey ought to be standing by me. I suppose he is having
-his dinner downstairs, too, and thinking no more of me. I just stand
-alone, nobody caring in all the world. What is the meaning of it,
-mamma?”<a name="page_68" id="page_68"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Bee, you are very hard upon me. And poor Aubrey, he is having no
-dinner&mdash;of that I am sure.”</p>
-
-<p>“You called him Mr. Leigh downstairs.”</p>
-
-<p>“So I did, and so I must, and all of us; but I cannot have you speaking
-of him like that, poor, poor fellow; and just for this once&mdash;&mdash; Oh, Bee,
-my darling, don’t stand and look at me so! I would rather have died than
-say it either to him or to you. Your papa has been hearing I don’t know
-what, and he has changed his mind about Mr. Leigh altogether, and says
-it must not be.”</p>
-
-<p>“What must not be?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Bee! Oh, don’t take it so hard! Don’t look like that!
-Your&mdash;your&mdash;engagement, my darling. Have patience; oh, have patience! He
-has heard something. Men hear things that we would never hear. And he
-doesn’t deny it. Oh! he doesn’t deny it. I had a hope that he would
-contradict it at once, and flare up in a rage like you, and say it
-wasn’t true. But he doesn’t deny it&mdash;poor boy, poor boy! And after that,
-how can I say one word to papa?”<a name="page_69" id="page_69"></a></p>
-
-<p>“My engagement?” said Bee, in a hoarse voice. She had been staring at
-her mother as in a dream&mdash;only partially hearing, not understanding at
-all the rest that was said. “My engagement? He gave his consent. It was
-all settled. You would not allow us till the letter came, but then it
-was consent.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, yes, dear. That was at first. He consented at first because&mdash;and
-now it appears he has heard something&mdash;someone has called upon him&mdash;he
-has discovered&mdash;and he writes to me that it must be broken off. Oh, Bee,
-don’t think my heart doesn’t bleed for you. I think it will kill me. He
-says it must be broken off at once.”</p>
-
-<p>“Who says so?” said Bee, in her passion. “He! One would think you were
-speaking of God&mdash;that can say ‘Yes’ to-day and ‘No’ to-morrow, and build
-things up and then snatch them down. But I will not have it! I am not a
-doll, to be put in one position and then in another, as anybody pleases.
-My engagement! It is mine; it is not his.”</p>
-
-<p>“Bee, think; it is papa you are speaking of. Dear, I feel for you&mdash;I
-feel for you! but so does he. Oh, my darling, you don’t know<a name="page_70" id="page_70"></a> what you
-are saying. Do you think he would do anything to make you unhappy if he
-could help it&mdash;your papa, Bee, who has been so good to you all your
-life?”</p>
-
-<p>“I do not care how good he has been. He is not good now. How will it
-harm him? He sits at home, and he thinks he can do as he pleases. But
-not with me. It is my affair more than it is his. He thinks he can break
-his word and it doesn’t matter&mdash;but I have given my word, and it does
-matter. Break my engagement!” cried Bee, her young bosom swelling, the
-sob rising in her throat that would soon choke her voice. “It is mine
-and not his; and nobody in the world shall break it. You can tell him
-so, mamma, or I will write myself and tell him so. I am not a wax image
-to take any shape he pleases. Who is he? He is not God&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Bee&mdash;he is your father&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, my father! Yes, I do whatever he tells me. If he says I am to fetch
-anything I run like a little dog. I have never been disobedient. But
-this&mdash;this is different. I am not a child any longer. And, mamma, not
-for him nor for anyone&mdash;not even for you will I take back my word.”<a name="page_71" id="page_71"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Bee! You make me say a great deal more than I meant to say. I thought
-you would have been a good child and seen that papa must know best. My
-poor, poor little girl, there is worse behind. Mr. Leigh, whom we all
-thought so much of&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Aubrey,” Bee managed to say, though for no other word could she command
-her voice.</p>
-
-<p>“Darling, he has deceived us. He is not what he seems. He has done, oh,
-so wrong&mdash;there have been things&mdash;that you ought never to hear&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Stop!” said Bee. She had to speak in monosyllables with her labouring
-breath. “Wait!&mdash;not behind his back.” She rushed to the bell and rung it
-so wildly that both waiter and chambermaid appeared in alarm, with
-Moulsey rushing in calling for a doctor, and saying that her lady was
-going to faint. Bee pushed the woman aside and turned to the waiter, who
-stood anxious at the door. “Mr. Leigh!” she cried, impatiently; “the
-gentleman&mdash;who was with us: tell him&mdash;to come here.”</p>
-
-<p>“The tall young gentleman?” said the waiter.<a name="page_72" id="page_72"></a></p>
-
-<p>“No&mdash;the other: tell him he is to come here&mdash;instantly&mdash;this moment.”</p>
-
-<p>“I beg your pardon, miss,” said the man. “The other gentleman? He have
-been gone away this half-hour.”</p>
-
-<p>“Gone away!” she cried. And it seemed to Bee that the blackness of
-darkness closed over her and the room and everything in it. She did not
-faint, oh no, no such happiness&mdash;but everything grew dark, and through
-the dark she heard her own voice speaking&mdash;speaking, and did not know
-what she said.<a name="page_73" id="page_73"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_V" id="CHAPTER_V"></a>CHAPTER V.</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">But</span> Aubrey had not gone away. He had gone out in the dizziness of a
-great downfall, scarcely knowing how to keep his feet steady as he
-wandered along the dark street, not knowing where he went. The landscape
-that had charmed them all so much&mdash;was it scarcely an hour ago?&mdash;the
-lamps reflected in the water; the verandah, with its wreaths of green;
-the brilliant yet mysterious glimmer of the moon, made his heart sink to
-look at them now. He strayed off into the darkest of the narrow streets,
-into the great gloom of the cathedral shadow, where he could see nothing
-but a poor light twinkling here and there, making the darkness visible.
-Oh! how certain it is that, however sweet they may seem, your sins will
-find you out! Oh! how more than certain if you have let yourself be<a name="page_74" id="page_74"></a>
-dragged down once, only once, in a spotless life, that the one fault
-will be made into the central fact of your whole existence. If he had
-been a bad, dissipated man, it would have been only fair. But this poor
-young fellow was like the young man whom our Lord loved though he went
-away. All good things he had kept from his youth up&mdash;but once, only
-once, half distracted by grief, and by the desire which is so natural to
-escape from grief, and by infernal temptation, he had fallen&mdash;oh, there
-was no need to tell him how he had fallen! Had it not been the canker in
-his soul ever since? And now this one thing, this miserable,
-much-repented fault, which revolted, disgusted, horrified himself, was
-brought up against him as if it were the pattern upon which he had
-shaped his life.</p>
-
-<p>And now, what was left for him but to fall down, down into the
-unfathomable abyss? The distracted feelings with which he had broken
-away from home, the horror and dismay that at once belonged to his
-natural grief and made the burden of it a thousand times harder to bear,
-all rushed back upon<a name="page_75" id="page_75"></a> him, whirling him down and down to dimmer and more
-awful depths. He had partially healed himself in the intolerableness of
-his trouble by travel and change, and the arbitrary forgetfulness which
-comes from absence and the want of any association which could call back
-to him what was past; and then the touch of Bee’s soft, girlish hand,
-the sound of her voice, had suddenly called him back into an enchanted
-land where everything had again become possible. He had hesitated for
-some time, wondering if he might dare&mdash;he who had a secret smirch upon
-him which nobody suspected&mdash;to avail himself of this way of salvation.
-The reader will think that he had not hesitated very long&mdash;poor
-Aubrey&mdash;seeing that the introduction, the acquaintance, the love, the
-engagement had all occurred within the small space of one month; but to
-the brooding spirit the hours of one interminable day are long enough
-for a chronicle. Something like the phenomena of love at first sight had
-occurred in the bleeding yet young heart, which had felt itself cut
-loose from all the best associations of life. Deliverance, recreation,<a name="page_76" id="page_76"></a>
-the new beginning of life and all its possibilities had gleamed upon him
-in Bee’s blue eyes. Her appearance swept away everything that was dark
-and ominous in his life. Did he dare to ask for her hand, to set out
-again to make himself a new career? He had worked at that question
-almost from the first day, discussing it with himself for the three
-weeks preceding their engagement, waking and sleeping, almost without
-intermission; and then in a moment he had forgotten all controversy, and
-let forth without intention the words that had been lying, so to speak,
-on the threshold of his lips&mdash;and in that moment all the clouds had been
-swept away. He was only eight and twenty after all&mdash;so young to have
-such a past behind him, and what so natural as that his life should
-begin again&mdash;begin now as for the first time? He had hesitated in the
-first fervour of his betrothal whether he should not tell all his story.
-But there was no one to tell it to but Mrs. Kingsward&mdash;a lady, even a
-young lady, not looking much older than Bee herself. That is one of the
-drawbacks of a young mother. She was still in the<a name="page_77" id="page_77"></a> sphere of the girls,
-not in that of the old ladies whom Heaven has ordained to represent the
-mothers of the race. How could he tell to her the story of that
-entanglement? If Colonel Kingsward had been there, Aubrey was of opinion
-that he would have made a clean breast of everything to him. But I think
-it very likely that he might not have done so. He would have intended
-it, and he would have put it off from day to day; and then he knew how
-lightly men of the world look upon such matters. What would have
-horrified Mrs. Kingsward would probably call forth nothing but a
-pooh-pooh from her husband. Aubrey, as it proved, was mistaken there,
-for Colonel Kingsward had ideas of his own, not always corresponding to
-those of the ordinary man of the world; but no doubt had he heard the
-story from that side and not from the other, he would have regarded it
-in a very different light.</p>
-
-<p>But it was too late&mdash;too late for these reflections now. The fiat had
-gone forth, the sentence had been pronounced beyond appeal. Oh, Bee,
-Bee, she was too good for<a name="page_78" id="page_78"></a> him; too fresh, too bright, unsullied by the
-world, for a man who had gone through so much already although he was
-still young enough. He who had loved and married&mdash;though, oh, how
-differently!&mdash;poor little Amy, who was nobody, whom he had liked for her
-yielding sweetness, sweetness which had cost him so dear&mdash;he who had
-been a father, who had lost his way in life amid the fogs of death and
-grief&mdash;how had he now dared to think that such a girl as Bee should
-dedicate her fresh young life to restore him again to the lost
-possibilities of his? It seemed to him the greatest presumption, the
-most dreadful, cynical, almost blasphemous attempt. It was the way of
-the world&mdash;to think that any woman, however good, might be sacrificed to
-the necessities of a man’s restoration whatever he had done; everybody
-thought so, his own mother even. But he, Aubrey, should have known
-better&mdash;he should have known that even at his best he could never have
-been good enough for Bee, and to think that he had dared now when he was
-no longer at his best! What a fool, what a fool he had been! He had come
-to be able to endure the <a name="page_79" id="page_79"></a>daylight and “get on” well enough when he had
-arrived at the Bath and seen her first. Why had he not contented himself
-with that, knowing that he had no right to expect more? And now there
-was nothing&mdash;nothing before him but a plunge into the unutterable
-darkness&mdash;darker than ever, without any hope&mdash;worse almost, if worse
-were possible, than when he had fled from his home.</p>
-
-<p>He did not know how long he had been roaming about the dark town
-pondering all these dreadful thoughts. When he went back to the hotel,
-which he finally did, worn out, not knowing where else to go, one
-reproachful waiter, with eyes that said he ought to have been in bed
-long ago, was waiting for him with a curt demand what he would have to
-eat, and all the house, except that deserted eating-room, where one
-light twinkled&mdash;reproachful, like the waiter&mdash;was shut up. He went to
-his room when he had swallowed some brandy, which was the only thing he
-could find to put a little warmth into his chilled limbs and despairing
-heart, and threw himself miserable upon his bed, where I have no doubt
-he slept, though he was not<a name="page_80" id="page_80"></a> aware of it&mdash;as Bee did, though she had no
-intention of doing so.</p>
-
-<p>The only one who was really a sufferer in this respect was poor Mrs.
-Kingsward, who was ill, and who had been far more agitated than her
-feeble strength could bear. She it was who lay and wondered all through
-the night what she must do. Was he really gone without a word, thus
-proving how much he was in the wrong, and how right the Colonel was? It
-would have saved her from a great deal of embarrassment, but I do not
-think Mrs. Kingsward wished that Aubrey might have really gone. It was
-too summary, it was not natural, it would show Colonel Kingsward to have
-been too right. Oh! she believed he was right! She did not doubt that
-his decision was for the best any more than she doubted that it was
-inexorable: but still the heart revolted a little, and she hoped that he
-might not be proved so unutterably right as that. And poor Bee&mdash;poor
-little Bee! She did not know, poor child, that there were bitters in the
-sweetest cup&mdash;that if she had twenty years of Aubrey she would not
-probably have thought quite<a name="page_81" id="page_81"></a> so much of him as now&mdash;that nobody was
-perfect, which was a conviction that had been forced upon Mrs.
-Kingsward’s own mind, though it was not a strong one, by the passage of
-the years. And then the poor lady went off into perplexed considerations
-of what she personally must do. Must he leave them all at once, travel
-home in a different carriage, avoid them at the stations, not venture to
-come near their table when they dined on the way? It would seem so
-ridiculous, and it would be so embarrassing after their very close
-intercourse. But men never thought of these little things. She felt sure
-that the Colonel would expect her never to let the two meet again. And
-how could she do that when they were both travelling the same way?
-Besides, was it fair, was it just, would Bee endure it&mdash;never to see him
-again?</p>
-
-<p>Bee woke up in all the energy of despair. It burst upon her in the first
-moment of her waking that he had gone away, that it was all over; but
-her mind, when it had time to think, rejected that idea; he would not,
-could not have gone without a word, without even<a name="page_82" id="page_82"></a> saying farewell,
-without asking her&mdash;anything, anything&mdash;to forgive him or to forget him,
-or to be faithful to him, or not to believe what was said against him.
-One or other of these things Aubrey must say to her before he went away.
-Therefore, he could not have gone away, and everything was still
-possible. In her passion and pride she had refused last night to let her
-mother tell her what it was. She had resolved that Aubrey should be
-present, that he should hear the accusation against him, that he should
-give his own explanation&mdash;that was only just, she said to herself&mdash;the
-poorest criminal had a right to that! And Aubrey should have it. He
-should not, whatever papa said and whatever mamma said, be condemned
-unheard. She dressed in great haste and rang the bell energetically to
-ascertain if he had come back. But the chambermaid who answered Bee’s
-bell was stupid and could not understand what Herr it was about whom the
-young lady questioned her so closely. Had he come back? Oh, yes, she
-believed all the Herren had come back; there was not a bed to be had in
-the house. But what Herr was<a name="page_83" id="page_83"></a> it whom the gracious young lady sought.
-The old gentleman in the next room, who was so ill? She heard that he
-was a little better this morning&mdash;or the young Herr in number ten, or
-the Herr whose eyes were so bad, who was going to the great doctor at
-Dusseldorf? Perhaps poor Bee’s German was at fault. She was still
-attempting to make the matter clear when Moulsey came in with the news
-that Mrs. Kingsward was very poorly, and had not slept at all, a
-statement which Betty, rushing in half-dressed, confirmed anxiously.
-“Mamma has had a very bad night; and what is the matter, Bee, that we
-are all at sixes and sevens, and why did you lock your door? I came up
-as soon as I could&mdash;as soon as Charlie would let me. He said it was
-dreadful, nobody coming down; and that we must eat through the dinner
-for the sake of appearances. And Aubrey never showing neither, and me
-obliged to sleep in mamma’s room because you had locked the door.”</p>
-
-<p>“I want to know,” said Bee, “whether Aubrey came back last night.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, how should I know?” said Betty,<a name="page_84" id="page_84"></a> “and why shouldn’t he come back?
-Of course he must have come back. Is he going anywhere else but home? I
-wish people would not get letters,” said the girl. “You are all so
-ridiculous since those letters came last night. Letters are nice when
-they are nice. But, oh! how much nicer it was yesterday morning when you
-had none, and we were all quite happy, and mamma well, and Aubrey and
-you as funny as you could be!”</p>
-
-<p>There flashed upon Bee as she spoke the whole bright panorama of
-yesterday. Not a cloud in the sky nor a trouble in the world. Mamma as
-fresh as the morning, the river shining, the steamboat thrilling through
-the water with a shiver of pleasure in its wooden sides, every group
-adding amusement, and they themselves affording it, no doubt, to the
-rest. How conscious they had been when they laughed under their breath
-at the young German pairs, that they themselves were lovers too, quite
-as happy, if not so demonstrative. Oh! yesterday&mdash;yesterday! You might
-as well say last century for anything that resembled it now. Bee turned
-almost<a name="page_85" id="page_85"></a> fiercely to Moulsey, who stood looking on with that air of
-knowing all about it which so often exasperated the girls, and requested
-her to go downstairs immediately and ask if Mr. Leigh had come back.
-Moulsey hesitated and protested that the chambermaid would know. “And
-you that know the language, Miss Bee.”</p>
-
-<p>“Go down directly and inquire if Mr. Leigh has come back. You know the
-waiter that speaks such good English as well as I do,” said Bee,
-peremptorily. And Moulsey could do nothing but obey.</p>
-
-<p>Yes, Mr. Leigh had come back; he had occupied his room, but was not yet
-up so far as the attendants knew. There came such a change on Bee’s face
-at this news as startled both the curious observers. The light grew less
-fierce, more like the usual sunny brightness in her eyes. A softening
-came over her face. Her colour flashed back. “I want to know when mamma
-is coming downstairs,” she said. “Moulsey&mdash;or no, stop. I’ll go myself
-and see.”</p>
-
-<p>Moulsey was so roused that she caught the young lady by the arm. “If it
-was your<a name="page_86" id="page_86"></a> papa himself, my lady shan’t be disturbed,” she said. “And not
-by you, Miss Bee, as are the cause of it all; not if you should put a
-knife into me afore her door.”</p>
-
-<p>“How dare you say I am the cause of it all?”</p>
-
-<p>“Because it’s the truth,” said the enraged maid. “She was worrited
-enough before by those letters, and you coming in like the wind, like
-your papa himself, as I always said you were his living image; and
-stopping her in the middle of her little bit of cutlet that would have
-given her strength, and questioning of her like a drum-major, and pacing
-up and down outside the door like a wild beast. Mind my words: you don’t
-know, none of you, how little strength my poor lady’s got. And you’re
-all so masterful, every one, with mamma here and mamma there, and you’ll
-not find out till it’s too late&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“But mamma’s better,” cried Betty. “She has taken her cure, and she’s
-all right till next year.”</p>
-
-<p>“I only wish as you may all find it so, miss,” said Moulsey, folding her
-arms across her broad chest and shaking her head.<a name="page_87" id="page_87"></a></p>
-
-<p>Bee was awe-struck for a moment by this speech, but she knew that
-Moulsey was always a croaker, and it was quite true about the cure. She
-paused a little uncertain, and then she resumed in a subdued voice&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>“I never want to disturb mamma. But Moulsey, we’ve got to leave here
-to-day.”</p>
-
-<p>“That can’t be,” said Moulsey, decisively. “My lady is not fit to travel
-after such a bad night, and I won’t have it,” she said. “The doctor has
-put my lady into my hands, and he says ‘She’s not to be overtired. Mind,
-I don’t respond for nothing if she’s overtired.’ And she just shan’t
-go&mdash;that’s flat. And you may all say what you like, and your papa, too.”</p>
-
-<p>“Not to-day?” said Bee, with another change of countenance. It flashed
-upon her that another day’s delay would give time for all the
-explanations in which she could not help hoping. Her excited pulses
-calmed down a little. She was not alarmed about her mother. Had she been
-so, it would no doubt have given her thoughts another direction. But Bee
-knew nothing of illness, much less anything of death. She was not
-afraid<a name="page_88" id="page_88"></a> of them. In her experience people might be ill occasionally, but
-they always got better. Mamma, too, would be better presently, when she
-got up; and then they could all meet, and the letters and the whole
-matter could be discussed. And it seemed to be impossible&mdash;impossible
-that from this some better conclusion could be arrived at. There had
-been so much confusion last night, when it burst upon them like a
-thunderstroke. When looked at calmly, without flurry or haste, the
-better moment would bring better views, and who could say that all might
-not yet be well?<a name="page_89" id="page_89"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VI" id="CHAPTER_VI"></a>CHAPTER VI.</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Emboldened</span> by this thought Bee went downstairs to breakfast, which was
-spread again in the verandah in the warm sunshine of the autumnal
-morning. The new hope, though it were a forlorn one, restored her
-youthful appetite as well as her courage, and her coffee and roll were a
-real restorative after the long fast and agitated night. But there was
-no appearance of Aubrey, neither at the table nor in the passages, nor
-anywhere about. He seemed to have disappeared as if he had never been.
-When Charlie came down from his mother’s room, where he had been shut up
-with her for some time, Bee, who had no particular respect for Charlie’s
-opinion or inclination to allow him any authority over herself, such as
-an elder<a name="page_90" id="page_90"></a> brother is sometimes supposed to have, began at once to
-question him. “Where is Aubrey?” she said. “Why doesn’t he come to
-breakfast? Will you go and look for Aubrey, Charlie?”</p>
-
-<p>“Indeed, I will do no such thing,” said Charlie, almost roughly. “I hope
-he has had the sense to go away. I should just like to see him come
-calmly down to breakfast as if nothing had happened. If he came, then I
-can answer for it, you should not be allowed to say a word to him, Bee.”</p>
-
-<p>“Who should prevent me?” cried Bee, looking up with her eyes on fire and
-her nostrils dilating. She had not noticed before what a cloud was upon
-Charlie’s face and how heavy and scowling were his brows. She added,
-springing up, “We shall soon see about that. If you think I shall do
-what you tell me, or condemn any man unheard&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“The cad! He never denied it. You can ask mamma.”</p>
-
-<p>“I will not ask anyone but Mr. Leigh,” said Bee, throwing back her head;
-“and I advise you to mind your own business, and<a name="page_91" id="page_91"></a> not to call names that
-may come back upon yourself.”</p>
-
-<p>“Stop where you are, Bee. I never went out into the world under false
-pretences. A man is a cad when he does that.”</p>
-
-<p>“I shall not stop for you, nor anyone but my parents,” said Bee, in a
-splendid flush of anger, her countenance glowing, her eyes blazing.
-“Stand out of my way. Oh, if that is all, and you want to make a scene
-for the edification of the tourists, I can go in by the other door.”</p>
-
-<p>And she did so, leaving Charlie standing flushed and angry, but quite
-unable, it need scarcely be said, to coerce his sister. To make an
-attempt of this kind, which comes to nothing, is confusing and
-humiliating. He looked round angrily for a moment to see if it were
-possible to intercept her, then, yielding to necessity, sat down where
-Betty, eager and full of a thousand questions, sat calling for
-explanations. That is the good of a family party, there is always
-someone ready to hear what you have to say.</p>
-
-<p>Bee went at once to the English-speaking waiter, and asked for Mr.
-Leigh, whom the<a name="page_92" id="page_92"></a> man, curious as all lookers-on are at a social drama
-going on under their eyes, declared to be still in his room. She sent
-him off instantly with a message, and stood in the hall awaiting his
-return, angry and brave, like the rose in George Herbert’s poem, yet
-soon getting shamefaced and troubled, as the people coming and going,
-travellers, visitors, attendants, stared at her and brushed against her
-as they passed. Bee never forgot all her life the gleam of the river at
-the foot of the steps, of which she had a glimpse through the
-doorway&mdash;the Rhine barges slowly crossing that little space of vision,
-the little boats flitting across the gleam of the rosy morning, and the
-strong flowing tide, the figures going up and down breaking the
-prospect.</p>
-
-<p>The man came back to her after a time, looking half sympathetic, half
-malicious, with the message that the gentleman was just going out.</p>
-
-<p>“Just going out!” She repeated the words half-consciously. “Was it
-Aubrey that sent her that message? Aubrey&mdash;who yesterday would not let
-her out of his sight, who followed her everywhere, saw every sign she<a name="page_93" id="page_93"></a>
-made, heard every word almost before it was spoken!” The surprise and
-the pang together made her heart sick. She could not rush upstairs and
-knock at his door and call him out imperatively, to tell her immediately
-what it all meant&mdash;at least, though it occurred to her that this would
-be the most natural thing to do, she did not. Intimidated by the
-circumstances, by the half impertinence of the waiter, by the stare of
-the people about, she reflected for a moment breathlessly that he must
-come out this way, and that if she remained there she must see him. But
-Bee’s instinct of a young woman, now for the first time awakened, made
-her shrink from this. When she was only a little girl, so very short a
-time ago, she did not mind who looked at her, who pushed past her. But
-now everything was different!</p>
-
-<p>She went away, still holding her head high that nobody (above all not
-Charlie, who was watching her through the glass of the verandah) should
-guess that her courage was drooping, and going into the deserted
-sitting-room, where last night that blow had fallen upon her, sat down
-and wrote to her lover a hurried little note:<a name="page_94" id="page_94"></a></p>
-
-<div class="blockquot"><p>“Oh, Aubrey, what is the matter? Have you deserted me without a
-word? Do you think I am like them, to take up any report? I don’t
-know what report there is&mdash;I don’t know what it is, this terrible
-thing that has come between us. What is it? I will take your word
-and nobody else’s. I don’t believe you have done anything that is
-wrong. Aubrey! come and tell me out of your own mouth. I told mamma
-last night I would hear nothing unless you were there; but you were
-gone away, they said. And now you send me word that you are going
-out and can’t see me. Going out and can’t see <i>me</i>! What does it
-all mean?</p>
-
-<p>“If it is some fad of honour, of not seeing me against <i>their</i>
-will&mdash;though I do think your first duty is to me, Aubrey, before
-anyone else in the world&mdash;but if it should be so, mamma will be
-down here at twelve o’clock&mdash;and I invite you to meet her, to hear
-what is said, to answer for yourself and for me. If you have done
-anything wrong, what does that matter? Don’t we all do wrong? And
-why should it come between you and me? Am I without sin that I
-should throw stones at you? Aubrey, you can’t throw everything away
-without a word. You can’t desert me without a word. I can bear
-anything&mdash;anything, rather than this.</p>
-
-<p class="r">
-“Your <span class="smcap">Bee</span>&mdash;&mdash;.”</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Bee, poor child, shrank from intrusting this to the impertinent waiter,
-who had a leer in his eye as if he were defending his own side from the
-importunities of the other. She went out furtively into the hall and
-studied the numbers of the rooms and the names of the tenants upon the
-board, necessity<a name="page_95" id="page_95"></a> quickening her perceptions, and then she stole
-upstairs and gave her poor little appeal into the hands of the stout
-chambermaid who watched over that part of the hotel. It was for the Herr
-in No. 10, and the answer was to be brought immediately to the little
-salon No. 20 downstairs. “Eine Antwort,” she said over and over again in
-her imperfect speech. “Schnell, schnell!” This, with the aid of a
-thaler&mdash;for it was before the days of the mark&mdash;produced perfect
-understanding in the mind of the maid, who with becks and wreathed
-smiles accepted the commission, and in a short time brought her back the
-answer for which she waited with feverish anxiety. It was very much
-shorter than her own.</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot"><p>“I am not worthy to stand before you. I cannot and I must not take
-advantage of your innocence; better I should disappear altogether
-than wound your ears with what they say. But I will not since you
-will it so. At twelve o’clock then, Bee, my darling, I will stand
-up before your mother, and say what I can for myself. Bee, my own
-dearest, my only hope!”</p></div>
-
-<p>This last was scrawled across the paper as if he had put it in after the
-despair of the former part. It was this that the poor little girl fixed
-upon&mdash;the sweet words to which<a name="page_96" id="page_96"></a> she had been accustomed, which her heart
-was fainting for. It was not, one would have said, a very cheerful note
-for a love-letter. But Bee was ridiculously cheered by it. So long as
-she was his own dearest, his hope, his darling&mdash;so long as there was no
-change in his love for her&mdash;why then, in the long run, whatever was
-said, everything must come right.</p>
-
-<p>I need not follow Bee to her mother’s bedside, when Mrs. Kingsward woke
-and for the first moment did not remember what had happened.</p>
-
-<p>“Is that you, Bee?” she said, smiling, not thinking.</p>
-
-<p>“Are you better, mamma?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, yes, just in my usual&mdash;&mdash;,” said Mrs. Kingsward. And then she
-caught a fuller sight of her daughter’s face. Bee had none of her usual
-pretty colour, the light in her eyes was like fire. The mother gave a
-little feeble cry, and in a moment was no longer in her usual, but lost
-in the feverish mists of a trouble far too great for her to bear. “Oh,
-Bee! Oh, Bee!”</p>
-
-<p>“We had better not say anything about it,<a name="page_97" id="page_97"></a> mamma, to agitate you. I have
-told him you will be ready at twelve o’clock, that I may know what the
-story is, and what he has to say.”</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Kingsward struggled up to a sitting position. “At twelve o’clock?
-No! I cannot, I cannot!” Then she dropped back upon her pillows sobbing,
-“Oh, Bee, spare me; I am not equal to it. There is Charlie can read your
-papa’s letter. Bee! Bee!”</p>
-
-<p>“Charlie!” cried Bee, with a flash of fury. “Who is Charlie, that he
-should sit in judgment on Aubrey and me? If he has anything to do with
-it, I tell you, mamma, I will go away. I will go with Aubrey. I will not
-hear a word.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Bee,” cried Mrs. Kingsward, holding out her hot, feverish hands, “I
-am not fit for it! I am not fit for it! If I am to travel to-morrow&mdash;ask
-Moulsey&mdash;I ought to stop in bed and be quiet all day.”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t see that it matters,” said Bee, sternly, “whether we travel
-to-morrow or in a week. To go home will be no pleasure to me.”</p>
-
-<p>“If we were there, then papa could manage<a name="page_98" id="page_98"></a> it all himself; he is the
-proper person. On a journey is not the time to settle things so
-important. I will write and tell him I have put it all off, and have not
-said anything, till he could do it himself.”</p>
-
-<p>“But that will not be true,” cried the young Rhadamanthus, inexorable,
-with her blazing eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“O Bee! you are dreadfully, dreadfully hard upon me!” the poor young
-mother said. This is the drawback of being so young a mother, just as
-young as your grown-up children. It is very delightful, when all is
-sunny and bright, but in a great emergency like this it is trying for
-all parties when a girl’s mother is only, so to speak, a girl like
-herself. Bee lifted up her absolute young head, and gave forth her
-ultimatum unmoved.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, mamma, it must be as you choose. If you think my happiness is of
-less consequence than the chance of a headache to yourself, I have
-naturally nothing more to say.”</p>
-
-<p>A headache! That was all she knew.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Kingsward was ready by twelve o’clock, much against Moulsey’s will,
-who<a name="page_99" id="page_99"></a> dressed her mistress under protest. “I ain’t one to interfere with
-what’s going on in a family,” said Moulsey, as she combed out the long
-locks, tangled with the restlessness of a troubled night, which were as
-silky and as smooth as Bee’s. “I’m only a servant, and I knows my place;
-but you’re not fit to struggle among them young ones. The nursery
-children, it’s all very well; if they’re naughty you whip them, or you
-put them in a corner, and there’s a good cry and all right again. But
-when it comes to a business with a young lady and a gentlemen, the
-Colonel ought to have come himself, or he ought to have put it off till
-we all got home.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I wish, I wish he had!” Mrs. Kingsward said, sighing. “I am not in
-the least what I used to be, Moulsey; don’t you think I am very
-different from what I used to be? I have not half the strength.”</p>
-
-<p>“There often is,” said Moulsey, “a time when a lady isn’t so strong,
-after all these children and everything. It takes a deal out of you, it
-do. And I don’t hold much with them foreign cures. I’m one that stands
-for home. And there’s where you<a name="page_100" id="page_100"></a> ought to be, ma’am, whatever anyone may
-say.”</p>
-
-<p>“I am sure it is where I wish to be,” said the poor lady, “but we must
-not be unjust, Moulsey. My cure did me a great deal of good, and I liked
-being out and seeing everything just as much as the girls.”</p>
-
-<p>“That is just it, ma’am,” said Moulsey; “you’re a deal too much the same
-as the young ladies, and can’t make up your mind as you haven’t the
-strength for it. I’m not one to ask any questions, but I can’t help
-seeing there’s something wrong. Don’t you give in to Miss Bee in
-everything. I wouldn’t go down to make up the quarrel if I was you.
-Leave ’em to themselves, and it’ll all come right. Bless us, lovers’
-quarrels is nothing&mdash;it wouldn’t be half the fun if it wasn’t for that.”</p>
-
-<p>Moulsey knew very well this was no lovers’ quarrel; but it seemed to her
-a good way of satisfying herself what it was.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, if that were all!” sighed the poor lady. “Moulsey, you are an old
-friend, and take an interest in the family. You have known Miss Bee
-since ever she was born.<a name="page_101" id="page_101"></a> I don’t know why I shouldn’t tell you. It is
-no quarrel; it’s something the Colonel has heard about Mr. Leigh.”</p>
-
-<p>“All lies, ma’am, I don’t make no manner of doubt.”</p>
-
-<p>“Do you think so, Moulsey; oh, do you think so? Have you heard anything?
-You often know more, hearing the servants speak, than we do. If you have
-any light to throw on the subject, oh, do so, do! I shall be grateful to
-you all my life.”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t know as I have any light to throw. I knew as there was some
-trouble at the time the poor young lady died&mdash;some friend of hers, as
-Mr. Leigh, being a kind-hearted gentleman, couldn’t turn out of the
-house&mdash;and it made a talk. But if there was anything wrong, you take my
-word, ma’am, it was none of his fault.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, it’s so easy to say that, Moulsey; but the man must bear the
-blame.”</p>
-
-<p>“I’ve always heard, ma’am, as it was the woman that got the blame; and
-right enough, for they often deserve it the most,” Moulsey said.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I wish&mdash;I wish, whoever was to<a name="page_102" id="page_102"></a> blame, that it was not I that had
-to clear it up,” poor Mrs. Kingsward said.</p>
-
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
-<span class="i0">“Oh, cursed spite,<br /></span>
-<span class="i0">That ever I was born to set it right.”<br /></span>
-</div></div>
-</div>
-
-<p>She would not have said this, poor lady. She would have thought it
-swearing and unbecoming for a woman’s lips; still, Hamlet’s sentiment
-was hers, with much stronger reason. She looked like anything but a
-strong representative of justice as she went downstairs. Charlie had
-come to give her his arm, and though he was very tender to her, Charlie
-had no idea of sparing her any more than Bee. He, too, thought that it
-was only the risk of a headache, and that a headache was no such great
-matter. Charlie’s idea was, however, that what the governor said was, of
-all things on earth, the most important to be carried out&mdash;especially
-when it did not concern himself.</p>
-
-<p>Bee was sitting at the window looking out upon the river, seeing the
-reflections flash and the boats pass. The steamer had just started with
-its lively freight&mdash;the steamboat which had brought them down the stream
-yesterday, with all its changing<a name="page_103" id="page_103"></a> groups, and the pairs of German lovers
-with their arms about each other in the beatitude of the betrothal. All
-just the same, but how different, how different! She did not rise, but
-only turned her head when her mother came in. She was on the other side.
-She did not see, with so many other things in her head, how fragile Mrs.
-Kingsward looked. Betty was the only one who perceived at all that mamma
-was less strong than usual, and even Betty took no notice, for she, too,
-was on the other side. As for Charlie, he stood behind her, a sort of
-representative of executive force at the back of Justice, backing her
-authority up. It was he who arranged her chair, her footstool, the shawl
-Moulsey had insisted she should wear, and which Charlie, who knew
-nothing about shawls, huddled up about her neck, not unlike the judge’s
-ermine. He did it all, not with sympathetic touches as the girls would
-have done had they not been on the other side, but rather with an eye to
-her dignity as a representative of the law.</p>
-
-<p>And then, just as the hour of noon sounded from all the church clocks,
-Aubrey came in.<a name="page_104" id="page_104"></a> He was very pale, but dressed with care, no symptoms of
-neglect about him, with an air of preparation which became a man who was
-going to stand his trial. Bee jumped up from her seat and went up to
-him, putting her hand through his arm, and Betty, half-frightened, with
-a glance at her mother, offered him a timid hand. She sat down behind
-them, on a chair that was ranged against the wall. The defendant’s side
-was her side. She wanted to show that, and yet not to go against mamma.
-Charlie took no notice at all of the new comer, but stood scowling,
-looking at nobody, behind his mother’s chair.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Kingsward, frightened at her own dignity and breathless with
-agitation, cried, “Oh, Mr. Leigh!” which was a kind of salutation. She
-had some papers in her lap, over which her hands fluttered restlessly,
-her husband’s letter, and something else beside, and she looked at the
-group before her with a little dubious smile, asking pardon of the
-culprit whom she had come here&mdash;oh, so much against her will&mdash;to try for
-his life.</p>
-
-<p>“Now, mamma,” said Bee, in a cheerful voice, “we are quite ready, Aubrey
-and I<a name="page_105" id="page_105"></a>&mdash;”</p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VII" id="CHAPTER_VII"></a>CHAPTER VII.</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Mrs. Kingsward’s</span> opening speech was a wonder to hear. She sat and looked
-at them all for a moment, trying to steady herself, but there was
-nothing to steady her in what she saw before her&mdash;Aubrey and Bee, the
-pair who had been so sweet to see, such a diversion in all
-circumstances, so amusing in their mutual absorption, so delightful in
-their romance. It all flashed back to her mind; the excitement of Bee’s
-first proposal, the pleasure of seeing “her bairn respected like the
-lave,” though Mrs. Kingsward might not have understood what these words
-meant, the little triumph it was to see her child engaged at nineteen,
-when everybody said there was nobody for the girls to marry&mdash;and now to
-have that triumph turned into<a name="page_106" id="page_106"></a> humiliation and dismay! And to think of
-Bee’s bright face overcast, and her happiness over, and poor Aubrey
-thrown out into the uttermost darkness. Had she seen Charlie it might
-have given her some support, for Charlie was the impersonation of
-immovable severity; but Betty’s wistful little face behind the other
-pair, coming out from Aubrey’s shadow by moments to fix an appealing
-look upon her mother, was not calculated to make her any stronger. She
-cleared her throat&mdash;she tried hard to steady her voice. She said, “Oh,
-my dear children,” faltering, and then the poor lady ended in a burst of
-sobbing and tears. It gave her a little sting and stimulant to see
-through her weeping that though little Betty ran towards her with kisses
-and soothing, Bee took no notice, but stood hard and unaffected in her
-opposition, holding close to Aubrey’s arm. Mrs. Kingsward indeed got no
-sympathy except from little Betty. Charlie put his hand imperatively
-upon her shoulder, recalling her to herself, and Bee never moved,
-standing by the side of Aubrey Leigh. The mother, thus deserted,
-plucked<a name="page_107" id="page_107"></a> up a little spirit in the midst of her weakness.</p>
-
-<p>“Bee,” she said, “I do not think it is quite nice of you to stand there
-as if your own people were against you. We are not against you. There
-has been, I fear, a great mistake made, which Colonel Kingsward”&mdash;here
-she turned her eyes to Aubrey&mdash;“has found out in&mdash;in time; though it is
-a pity, a sad pity, that it was not found out before. If Mr. Aubrey had
-only been frank and said at once&mdash;but I don’t see what difference that
-would have made. Papa says that from what he has heard and discovered
-things must not go any further. He is sorry, and so am I, that they have
-gone so far, and the engagement must be broken off at once. You hear
-what I say, Bee?”</p>
-
-<p>“I heard you say so last night, mamma, but I say it is my engagement,
-and I have a right to know why. I do not mean to break it off&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, how can I make explanations&mdash;how can I enter into such a question?
-I appeal to you, Mr. Aubrey&mdash;tell her.”</p>
-
-<p>“She ought not to ask any explanations. She is a minor, under age. My
-father has a<a name="page_108" id="page_108"></a> right to do whatever he pleases&mdash;and she has none to ask
-why.”</p>
-
-<p>This was how Charlie reasoned on the height of his one-and-twenty years.
-Charlie was the intolerable element in all this question. Aubrey cast a
-look at him, and forcibly closed his own lips to keep in something that
-was bursting forth. Bee defied him, as was natural, on the spot. “I will
-not have Charlie put in his opinion,” she cried. “He has nothing to do
-with me. Even if I obeyed papa, I certainly should not obey him.”</p>
-
-<p>“Let Aubrey say, himself,” said Mrs. Kingsward, “whether you ought to be
-told everything, Bee.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is cruel to ask me,” said Aubrey, speaking for the first time. “If
-Bee could know all&mdash;if you could know all, Mrs. Kingsward! But how could
-I tell you all? Part of this is true, and part is not true. I could
-speak to Colonel Kingsward more freely. I am going off to-night to
-London to see him. It will free you from embarrassment, and it will give
-me perhaps a chance. I did not want to put you to this trial. I am ready
-to<a name="page_109" id="page_109"></a> put myself unreservedly in Colonel Kingsward’s hands.”</p>
-
-<p>“Then,” said Bee, hastily, “it seems I am of no sort of importance at
-all to anyone. I am told my engagement is broken off, and then I am told
-I am not to know why, and then&mdash;&mdash;. Go, then, Aubrey, as that is your
-choice, and fight it out with papa, if you please.” She loosed her arm
-from his, with a slight impulse, pushing him away. “But just mind
-this&mdash;everybody,” she cried; “you may think little of Bee&mdash;but my
-engagement shall not be broken by anybody but me, and it shall not be
-kept on by anybody but me; and I will neither give it up nor will I hold
-to it, neither one nor the other, until I know why.”</p>
-
-<p>Then the judge and the defendant looked each other in the face. They
-were, as may be supposed, on opposite sides, but they were the only two
-to consult each other in this emergency. Aubrey responded by a movement
-of his head, by a slight throwing up of his hand, to the question in
-Mrs. Kingsward’s eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“Then you shall know as much as I can<a name="page_110" id="page_110"></a> tell you, Bee. Your father had a
-letter last week, from a lady, telling him that she had a revelation to
-make. The letter alarmed your father. He felt that he must know what it
-meant. He could not go himself, but he sent Mr. Passavant, the lawyer.
-The lady said that she had lived in Mr. Leigh’s house for years, in the
-time of his late wife. She said Mr. Leigh had&mdash;had behaved very badly to
-her.”</p>
-
-<p>“That I do not believe,” said Bee.</p>
-
-<p>The words flashed out like a knife. They made a stir in the air, as if a
-sudden gleam had come into it. And then all was still again, a strange
-dead quiet coming after, in which Bee perceived Aubrey silent, covering
-his face with his hand. It came across her with a sudden pang that she
-had heard somebody say this morning or last night&mdash;“He did not deny it.”</p>
-
-<p>“And that he had promised her&mdash;marriage&mdash;that he was engaged to her, as
-good as&mdash;as good as married to her&mdash;when he had the cruelty&mdash;oh, my dear
-child, my dear child!&mdash;to come to you.”</p>
-
-<p>Aubrey took his hand away from his white<a name="page_111" id="page_111"></a> face. “That,” he said, in a
-strange, dead, tuneless voice, “is not true.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, more shame to you, Aubrey, more shame to you,” cried Mrs.
-Kingsward, forgetting her judicial character in her indignation as a
-woman, “if it is not true!&mdash;” She paused a moment to draw her breath,
-then added, “But indeed you were not so wicked as you say, for it is
-true. And here is the evidence. Oh!” she cried, with tears in her eyes,
-“it makes your conduct to my child worse; but it shows that you were not
-then, not then, as bad as you say.”</p>
-
-<p>Bee had dropped into the chair that was next to her, and there sat, for
-her limbs had so trembled that she could not stand, watching him, never
-taking her eyes from him, as if he were a book in which the
-interpretation of this mystery was&mdash;&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>“Never mind about me,” he said, hoarsely. “I say nothing for myself.
-Allow me to be as bad as a man can be, but that is not true. And what is
-the evidence? You never told me there was any evidence.”</p>
-
-<p>“Sir,” said Mrs. Kingsward, fully roused, “I told you all that was in my
-husband’s letter last night.”<a name="page_112" id="page_112"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Yes&mdash;that she,” a sort of shudder seemed to run over him, to the keen
-sight of the watchers&mdash;“that she&mdash;said so. You don’t know, as I do, that
-<i>that</i> is no evidence. But you speak now as if there was something
-more.”</p>
-
-<p>She took a piece of folded paper from her lap. “There is this,” she
-said, “a letter you wrote to her the morning you went away.”</p>
-
-<p>“I did write her a letter,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Kingsward held it out to him, but was stopped by Charlie, who put
-his hand on her arm. “Keep this document, mother. Don’t put the evidence
-against him into a man’s power. I’ll read it if Mr. Leigh thinks
-proper.”</p>
-
-<p>Once more Aubrey and Bee together, with a simultaneous impulse, looked
-at this intruder into their story.</p>
-
-<p>“Mamma! send him away. I should like to kill him!” said Bee within her
-clenched teeth.</p>
-
-<p>“Be quiet, Charlie. Mr. Leigh, I am ready to put this or any other
-evidence against you into your hands.”</p>
-
-<p>He bowed very gravely, and then stood<a name="page_113" id="page_113"></a> once more as if he were made of
-stone. Mrs. Kingsward faltered very much, her agitated face flushed. “It
-begins,” she said, in a low fluttering voice, “My dear little wife&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Then there came a very strange sound into the agitated silence, for
-Aubrey Leigh, on trial for more than his life, here laughed. “What more,
-what more?” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“No, it is not that. It is&mdash;‘I don’t want my dear little wife to be
-troubled about anything. It can all be done quite easily and quietly,
-without giving an occasion for people to talk; a settlement made and
-everything you could desire. I shall make arrangements about everything
-to-day.’ It is signed A. L., and it is in your handwriting. Bee, you can
-see it is in his handwriting; look for yourself.”</p>
-
-<p>Bee would not turn her head. She thought she saw the writing written in
-fire upon the air&mdash;all his familiar turns in it. How well she knew the
-A. L.; but she did not look at it&mdash;would not look. She had enough to do
-looking at his face, which was the letter&mdash;the book she was studying
-now.<a name="page_114" id="page_114"></a></p>
-
-<p>“No doubt it is my handwriting,” he said, “only it was addressed not to
-any other woman, but to my wife.”</p>
-
-<p>“Your wife died two years ago, Mr. Leigh; and that is dated
-Christmas&mdash;this year.”</p>
-
-<p>“That is a lie!” he cried; then restrained himself painfully. “You know
-I don’t mean you&mdash;but the date and the assumption is entirely a lie.
-Give me time, and I will tell you exactly when it was written. I
-remember the letter. It was when I had promised Amy to provide for her
-friend on condition that she should be sent away&mdash;for she made my house
-miserable.”</p>
-
-<p>“And yet&mdash;and yet, Mr. Leigh&mdash;&mdash;. Oh, don’t you see how things
-contradict each other? She made your house miserable, and yet&mdash;&mdash; when
-your wife was dead, and you were free&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>He looked at her, growing paler and paler. “And yet!” he said. “I know
-what you mean. That is the infernal art of it. My own folly has cut the
-ground from beneath my feet, and put weapons into every hand against me.
-I know&mdash;I know.”<a name="page_115" id="page_115"></a></p>
-
-<p>Again there came into Bee’s mind the words she had heard last night&mdash;“He
-does not deny it.” And yet he was denying it with all his might!
-Denying, and not denying&mdash;what? The girl’s brain was all in a maze, and
-she could not tell.</p>
-
-<p>“You see?” said Mrs. Kingsward, gently. “Oh, I am sorry for you in my
-heart. Perhaps you were led into&mdash;a connection that you feel not to
-be&mdash;desirable. That I can understand. But that you should think you
-could save yourself by means of an innocent girl, almost a child, and
-impose yourself on a family that had no suspicions!&mdash;oh, Mr. Leigh, Mr.
-Leigh! you ought to have died sooner than have done that!”</p>
-
-<p>He looked at her piteously for a moment, and then a dreadful sort of
-smile came upon his face. “I allow,” he said, “that that would have been
-the best.”</p>
-
-<p>And there fell a silence upon the room. The sun was shining outside, and
-the sound of the water gurgling against the sides of boats, and of all
-the commotion of the landing place, and of the hundreds of voices in the
-air, and of the chiming of the clocks,<a name="page_116" id="page_116"></a> came in and filled the place.
-And just then there burst out a carillon from one of the steeples
-setting the whole to music, harmonising all the discords, and sweeping
-into this silence with a sudden rush of sound as if some bodily presence
-had come in. It was the touch too much for all these excited and
-troubled people. Mrs. Kingsward lay back in her chair and began to weep
-silently. Aubrey Leigh turned away from where he was standing and leant
-his head against the wall. As for Bee, she sat quite still, dazed, not
-able to understand, but crushed out of all her youthful self-assertion
-and determination to clear it all up. She to clear it up!&mdash;who did not
-even understand it, who could not fathom what was meant. That there was
-something more than met the eye, something that was not put into words,
-seemed to show vaguely through the words that were said. But what it was
-Bee could not tell. She could not understand it all. And yet that there
-was a fatal obstacle rising up between her and her lover, something
-which no one could disperse or clear away, not a mistake, not a
-falsehood, not a thing that could be<a name="page_117" id="page_117"></a> passed over triumphantly and
-forgotten&mdash;not as youth is so quick to believe a mere severity, tyranny,
-arbitrary conclusion of papa&mdash;she felt in every fibre of her frame. She
-could not deny it or struggle against it; her very being seemed
-paralysed. The meaning went out of her face, the absolute, certain,
-imperious youthfulness died out of her. She who loved to have her own
-way, who had just protested that she would neither give up nor hold fast
-except by her own will and understanding, now sat dumb, vaguely staring,
-seeing shadows pass before her and hearing of things which were
-undeniable, mighty things, far more powerful than her little hot
-resolutions and determinations. Bee had never yet come face to face with
-any trouble which could not be smoothed away. There was her own
-naughtiness, there were Charlie’s escapades at school and college&mdash;some
-of which she had known were serious. But in a little while they had been
-passed over and forgotten, and everything had been as before. One time
-she remembered papa had threatened not to let Charlie go back to Harrow,
-which was a dreadful<a name="page_118" id="page_118"></a> thing, exposing him and his naughtiness to all the
-world. But after a while papa had changed his mind, and everything had
-gone smoothly as before. Could papa change his mind now? Would time make
-it, even if he did, as it was before? Bee had not mental power enough to
-think these things, or ask these questions of her own will. But they
-went through her mind as people come in and go out by an open door.</p>
-
-<p>It was Aubrey who was the first to speak. The carillon stopped, or else
-they got used to the sound and took no further notice of it, and he
-collected himself and came forward again to the middle of the room. He
-said, “I know it will be a relief that I should go away. There is an
-afternoon train which I shall take. It is slow, but it does not matter.
-I shall be as well there as anywhere&mdash;or as ill. I shall go direct to
-Colonel Kingsward and lay my whole case before him. He will perhaps
-confront me with my accuser&mdash;I hope so&mdash;if not, he will at least hear
-what I have to say for myself.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Mr. Leigh! Oh, Aubrey! I can’t wish you anything but well,
-whatever&mdash;whatever may be done!”<a name="page_119" id="page_119"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Thank you, Mrs. Kingsward, I looked for nothing less from your kind
-heart. Will you give me that letter?”</p>
-
-<p>She put it into his hands without the least hesitation, and he examined
-it&mdash;with a sort of strained smile upon his face. “I should like to take
-this back to Colonel Kingsward,” he said. Then added quickly with a
-short laugh, “No, I forgot; there might be suspicions. Send it back to
-him, please, by the first post, that he may have it when I get there.”
-He gave the letter back, and then he looked round wistfully. “May I say
-good-bye to Bee?”</p>
-
-<p>She got up at the words, feeling herself vaguely called upon&mdash;yet quite
-dull, dumb, with all sorts of thoughts going and coming through those
-wide-open doors of her mind&mdash;thoughts like strays which she seemed to
-see as they passed. Even Aubrey himself appeared a ghost. She got up and
-stood awaiting him when he approached her, not putting out a finger.
-Nobody interfered, not even Charlie, who was fuming internally yet
-somehow did not move. Aubrey went up to her and put his hands upon her<a name="page_120" id="page_120"></a>
-shoulders. Her unresponsiveness sent a chill to his heart.</p>
-
-<p>“Have you given me up, Bee?” he cried, “Already, already!” with anguish
-in his voice.</p>
-
-<p>She could not say a word. She shook her head like a mute, looking at him
-with her dazed eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“She does not understand it&mdash;not a word!” he said.</p>
-
-<p>Bee shook her head again. It was all she could do. No, she did not
-understand, except that it was a kind of dying, something against which
-nobody could struggle. And then he kissed her on her forehead as gravely
-as though he had been her father; and the next moment was gone&mdash;was it
-only out of the room, or out of the world, out of life?<a name="page_121" id="page_121"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VIII" id="CHAPTER_VIII"></a>CHAPTER VIII.</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">It</span> was a slow train. The slowest train that there is, is, of course,
-far, far quicker than any other mode of conveyance practicable in a land
-journey, but it does not seem so. It seems as if it were delay
-personified to the eager traveller, especially on the Continent. In
-England, when it stops at a multiplicity of stations at which there is
-nothing to do, it at least goes on again in most cases after it has
-dropped its half-passenger or taken in its empty bag of letters. But
-this can never be said of a German or even of a brisker Belgian train.
-The one in which Aubrey was meandered about Liege, for instance, till he
-had mastered every aspect of that smoky but interesting place. It
-stopped for what looked like an hour at every little roadside<a name="page_122" id="page_122"></a> station,
-in order, apparently, that the guard might hold a long and excited
-conversation about nothing at all with the head man of the place. And
-all the while the little electric bell would go tingling, tingling upon
-his very brain. Thus he made his slow and weary progress through the
-afternoon and evening, stopping long at last at a midnight station
-(where everything was wrapped in sleep and darkness) for the arrival of
-the express, in which the latter portion of the journey was to be
-accomplished more quickly. If there had been anything wanted to complete
-the entire overthrow of a spirit in pain it was such an experience. All
-was dismal beyond words at the place where he had to wait&mdash;one poor
-light showing through the great universe of darkness, the dark big world
-that encompassed it around&mdash;one or two belated porters wandering through
-the blackness doing mysterious pieces of business, or pretending to do
-them. A poor little wailing family&mdash;a mother and two children, put out
-there upon a bench from some other train, one of the babies wailing
-vaguely into the dark, the other calling upon “mamma, mamma,” driving<a name="page_123" id="page_123"></a>
-the poor mother frantic&mdash;were waiting like himself. It gave Aubrey a
-momentary consolation to see something that appeared at least to the
-external eye more forlorn than he. He remembered, too, that there had
-once been a baby cry that went to his heart, and though all the
-associations connected with that had now turned into gall and
-bitterness, so that the sound seemed like a spear penetrating his very
-being, and he walked away as far as the bounds of the station would
-allow, to get, if possible, out of hearing of it&mdash;yet pity, a better
-inspiration, at last gained the day. He went up and spoke to the woman,
-and found that she was an English workman’s wife making her way home
-with her children to a mother who was dying. They had turned her out
-here, with her babies, to wait&mdash;ah, not for the express train which was
-to carry on the gentleman, but for the slow, slow-creeping third-class
-which only started in the morning, and which would, after other long
-waits at other places, reach England sometime, but she could scarcely
-tell when.</p>
-
-<p>“And must you pass the night here out in the cold?” said Aubrey.<a name="page_124" id="page_124"></a></p>
-
-<p>“It isn’t not to call a cold night, sir,” said the woman, meekly, “and
-they’ve got plenty on to keep them warm.”</p>
-
-<p>“I’ll try and get them to open the waiting-room for you,” said Aubrey.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, no, sir; thank you kindly, but don’t take the trouble&mdash;the rooms
-are that stuffy. It’s better for them in the open air, and they’ll go to
-sleep in a little while. Baby will be quite warm on my lap, and Johnny’s
-lying against me.”</p>
-
-<p>“And what is to become of you in this arrangement?” said Aubrey, looking
-pitifully, with eyes that had known the experiences both of husband and
-father, upon this little plump human bed, which was to stand in the
-place of down pillows for the children.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I’ll do very well, sir, when they go to sleep,” she said, looking
-up at him with a smile.</p>
-
-<p>“And when does your train go?”</p>
-
-<p>“Not till six in the morning,” she replied; “but perhaps that’s all the
-better, for I’ll be able to get them some bread and milk, and a good
-wash before we start.”</p>
-
-<p>Well, it was not much of an indulgence for<a name="page_125" id="page_125"></a> a man who was well off. He
-might have thrown it away on any trifle, and nobody would have wasted a
-thought on the subject. He got hold of one of the wandering ghosts of
-porters, and got him, with a douceur, to change the poor woman’s cheap
-ticket for her into one for the express, and commissioned him, if
-possible, to get her a place in a sleeping carriage, where, I fear, she
-was not likely to be at all a warmly welcomed addition to the luxurious
-young men or delicate ladies in these conveyances. He saw that there was
-one found for her which was almost empty when the train came up. He
-scarcely knew if she were young or old&mdash;though indeed, as a matter of
-fact, the poor little mother, bewildered by her sudden elevation among
-the gentlefolks, and not quite sure that she would not have preferred to
-remain where she was and pick up in the morning her natural third-class
-train, was both young and pretty, a fact that was remarked by the one
-young lady in the carriage, who saw the young man through the window at
-her side, and recognised him in a flash of the guard’s lantern, with
-deep<a name="page_126" id="page_126"></a> astonishment to see him handing in such a woman and such children
-to the privileged places. He disappeared himself into the dark, and
-indeed took his place in the corner of a smoking carriage, where his
-cigar was a faint soother of pain. In his human short-sightedness, poor
-Aubrey also was consoled a little, I think, by the thought that this
-poor fellow-passenger was comfortable&mdash;she and her children&mdash;and that
-instead of slumbering uneasily on a bench, she was able to lay the
-little things in a bed. It seemed to him a good omen, a little
-relaxation of the bonds of fate, and he went away cheered a little and
-encouraged by this simple incident and by the warmth of the kindness
-that was in his heart.</p>
-
-<p>He spoke to them again on one or two occasions on the way, sent the poor
-woman some tea in the morning, bought some fruit for the children, and
-again on the steamboat crossing, when he listened to the account of how
-they were going on, from Dover, with a certain interest. When they
-parted at the train he shook hands with the mother, hoping she would
-find her relation better,<a name="page_127" id="page_127"></a> and put a sovereign into Johnny’s little fat
-hand. The lady who had been in the sleeping carriage kept her eye upon
-him all the time. She was not by any means a malicious or bad woman, but
-she did not believe the poor woman’s story of the gentleman’s kindness.
-She was, I am sorry to say, a lady who was apt to take the worst view of
-every transaction, especially between men and women. People who do so
-are bound in many cases to be right, and so are confirmed in their
-odious opinion; but in many cases they are wrong, yet always hold to it
-with a faith which would do credit to a better inspiration. “I thought
-young Mr. Leigh was going to marry again,” she said to a friend whom she
-met going up to town.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, so he is! To the nicest girl&mdash;Bee Kingsward, the daughter of one of
-my dearest friends&mdash;such a satisfactory thing in every way.”</p>
-
-<p>“Wasn’t there something,” said the lady of the sleeping carriage, “about
-a woman, down at his place in the country?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I don’t think there was ever anything against him. There was a
-woman<a name="page_128" id="page_128"></a> who was a great friend of his poor wife, and lived with them. The
-wife was a goose, don’t you know, and could not be made to see what a
-foolish thing it was. My opinion is that he never could abide the woman,
-and I am sure she made mischief between them. But I believe that silly
-little Mrs. Leigh&mdash;poor thing, we should not speak ill of those that are
-gone&mdash;made him promise on her deathbed that this Miss Something-or-other
-should not be sent away from the house. It was a ridiculous arrangement,
-and no woman that respected herself would have done it. But she was
-poor, and it’s a comfortable place, and, perhaps, as there was no
-friendship between them she may have thought it was no harm.”</p>
-
-<p>“Perhaps she thought she would get over him in time and make him marry
-her.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I can’t tell what she thought! He rushed off in a hurry at a
-moment’s notice, nobody knowing what he intended, after the poor baby
-died, the very day of its funeral. Not much to be wondered at, poor
-young man, after all he had gone through. I don’t know how things were
-settled with Miss<a name="page_129" id="page_129"></a> Lance, but I believe that she has gone at last. And I
-am delighted to hear of his engagement. So will all his neighbours in
-the county be.”</p>
-
-<p>“I should not like a daughter of mine to marry a man like that.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why? I wish a daughter of mine could have the chance. Everybody likes
-him at home. Do you know anything of Aubrey Leigh?”</p>
-
-<p>He did not know in the least that this talk was going on as the train
-went rushing on to town; his ears did not tingle. He was in the next
-carriage, divided only by a plank from these two ladies in their
-compartment. The woman who took the bad view of everything did not wish
-him any harm. She did not even think badly of him. She thought it was
-only human nature, and that young men will do that sort of thing,
-however nice they may be, and whatever you may say of morals and so
-forth. I do not think, though she had made that little conventional
-speech, that she would at all have hesitated to give her own daughter to
-Aubrey, provided that she had a daughter. His advantages were<a name="page_130" id="page_130"></a> so
-evident, and the disadvantages, after all, had so little to do with
-actual life.</p>
-
-<p>Aubrey did not present himself before Colonel Kingsward that night. He
-did not propose to follow him to Kingswarden, the old house in Kent,
-which was the sole remnant of territorial property belonging to the
-family. He wanted to have all his wits about him, to be cool and
-self-possessed, and able to remember everything, when he saw the man who
-had given him Bee and then had withdrawn her from his arms. He already
-knew Colonel Kingsward a little, and knew him as a man full of
-<i>bonhommie</i>, popular everywhere&mdash;a man of experience, who had been about
-the world, who knew men. By this time Aubrey had recovered his spirits a
-little. He thought it impossible that such a man, when a younger than
-himself laid bare his heart to him, could fail to understand. It was
-true that the Colonel was probably a martinet in morals as he was in his
-profession, and Aubrey had that behind him which he could not deny. He
-would not attempt to gloss it over, to make excuses for it. He would lay
-his life in this<a name="page_131" id="page_131"></a> man’s hand as if he had been his confessor. And
-surely, surely the acknowledged sin would find absolution, the
-extenuating circumstances would be considered, the lie with which that
-accusation was accompanied would recoil upon the accuser. The young man
-buoyed himself up with these thoughts through the long evening. He did
-not go out or to his club, or anywhere where he was known. In September
-there are not so many inducements to stray about London. He sat in his
-room and thought of Bee, and wrote little letters to her, which were a
-relief to his mind though he knew he could not send them. By this time
-he reflected they must have started. They were beginning their journey
-as he ended his. He hoped that Charlie, that lout, would have the sense
-to take care of his mother, to see that she suffered as little as
-possible, to prevent her from having any trouble&mdash;which I fear was not
-the view at all that Charlie took of his duty to his mother. Aubrey,
-like all outsiders, had a clearer view of Mrs. Kingsward’s condition
-than her family had arrived at. He was very sorry for her, poor,<a name="page_132" id="page_132"></a>
-delicate, tender woman&mdash;and grieved to the bottom of his heart that this
-trouble should have come upon her through him. Bee was different. There
-would be so many ways, please God, if all went well&mdash;and he could not
-bring himself to think that all would not go well&mdash;in which he could
-make it up to his Bee. Finally, he permitted himself to write a little
-letter to meet his darling on her return, and enclosed in it another to
-Mrs. Kingsward, directed to Kingswarden. They would receive it when they
-entered their house&mdash;and by that time, surely by that time, his letters
-would not be any longer a forbidden thing.</p>
-
-<p>That morning it rained, and the London skies hung very low. The world
-had the effect of a room with a low roof, stifling and without air. He
-set out to walk to Colonel Kingsward’s office. I forget whether the
-Intelligence Department of the War Office was in existence at that time,
-or if it has always been in existence only not so much heard of as in
-our vociferous days. If it did exist then, it was, of course, in Pall
-Mall, as we all know. Aubrey set out to walk, but<a name="page_133" id="page_133"></a> soon recollected that
-muddy boots detracted from a man’s appearance, especially in the eyes of
-a spick and span person like Colonel Kingsward, who never had a speck
-upon any garment, and accordingly he got into a hansom. It did not go
-any faster than the beating of his heart, and yet he could have wished
-that it should only creep along like the heavier cabs. He would have put
-off this interview now had he been able. To think that you are within an
-hour at most of the moment when your life shall be settled for you
-absolutely by another person’s will, and that your happiness or
-unhappiness rest upon the manner in which he will look at the question,
-the perception he will have of your difficulties, the insight into your
-heart, is a terrible thing&mdash;especially if you know little of the person
-who has thus become endowed, as it were, with the power of life and
-death over you&mdash;do not know if his understanding is a large or limited
-one, if he has any human nature in him, or only mere conventionality and
-the shell of human nature. It is seldom, perhaps, that one man is thus
-consciously in the power of another&mdash;and yet it must come to that more
-or less, every day.<a name="page_134" id="page_134"></a></p>
-
-<p>Colonel Kingsward was in his room, seated at his writing table with
-piles of books and maps, and masses of newspapers all round him. He was
-an excellent linguist, and there were French papers and German papers,
-Russian, Scandinavian&mdash;all kinds of strange languages and strange little
-broadsheets, badly printed, black with excessive ink, or pale with
-imperfect impression, on the floor and the table. He had a large paper
-knife at his hand in ivory, with the natural brown upon it, looking like
-a weapon which could cut a man, not to say a book, in pieces. He looked
-up with an aspect which Aubrey, whose heart was in his mouth, could not
-read&mdash;whether it was mere politeness or something more&mdash;and bade Mr.
-Leigh be seated, putting aside deliberately as he did so the papers with
-which he was engaged. And then he turned round with the air of a man who
-says: Now you have my entire attention&mdash;and looked Aubrey in the face.
-The young man was facing the light which came in from a large high
-window reaching nearly to the roof. The elder man had his back half
-turned from it, so that his regard<a name="page_135" id="page_135"></a> was less easy to read. It was not
-quite fair. Aubrey had everything against him; his agitation, his
-anxiety, an expressive tell-tale face, and the light searching every
-change that took place in it; whilst his opponent was calm as his own
-paper knife, impassive, with a countenance formed to conceal his
-emotions, and the light behind him. It was not an equal match in any
-way.</p>
-
-<p>“I have come direct from Cologne,” Aubrey said.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, yes. I believe my wife says so in her letter.”</p>
-
-<p>“You have news from them to-day? I hope that Mrs. Kingsward is better.”</p>
-
-<p>“My wife never at any time speaks much of her health. She was a little
-fatigued and remained another day to rest.”</p>
-
-<p>“She is very delicate, sir,” said Aubrey. He did not know why, unless it
-was reluctance to begin what he had to say.</p>
-
-<p>“I am perfectly acquainted with Mrs. Kingsward’s condition,” said the
-Colonel, in a tone which was not encouraging. He added, “I don’t suppose
-you took the trouble to come here, Mr. Leigh, in order to speak to me
-about my wife’s health.”<a name="page_136" id="page_136"></a></p>
-
-<p>“No. It is true. I ought not to waste the time you have accorded me. I
-do not need to tell you, Colonel Kingsward, what I have come about.”</p>
-
-<p>“I think you do,” said the Colonel, calmly. “My letter to my wife, which
-I believe she communicated to you, conveyed all I had to say on the
-matter. It was not written without reflection, nor without every
-possible effort to arrive at the truth. Consequently, I have no desire
-to re-open the subject. It is in my mind concluded and put aside.”</p>
-
-<p>“But you will hear me?” said Aubrey. “You have heard one statement,
-surely you will hear the other. No man is condemned unheard. I have come
-here to throw myself upon your mercy&mdash;to tell you my story. However
-prejudiced you may be against me&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“A moment, Mr. Leigh. I have no prejudice against you. I am not the
-judge of your conduct. I claim the right to decide for my daughter&mdash;that
-is all. I have no prejudice or feeling against you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Colonel Kingsward,” cried Aubrey, “for God’s sake listen! Hear what I
-have to say!”<a name="page_137" id="page_137"></a></p>
-
-<p>The Colonel looked at him again. Perhaps it was the passion of
-earnestness in the young man’s face that touched him. Perhaps he felt
-that it was unwise to leave it to be said that he had not heard both
-sides. The end was that he waved his hand and said:</p>
-
-<p>“My time is not my own. I have no right to spend it on merely private
-interests; but if you will make your story as short as possible I will
-hear what you have to say.”<a name="page_138" id="page_138"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IX" id="CHAPTER_IX"></a>CHAPTER IX.</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> story which Aubrey Leigh had to tell was indeed made as short as
-possible. To describe the most painful crisis in your life, the moment
-which you yourself shudder to look back at, which awakens in you that
-fury of self-surprise, horror and wonder which a sudden departure from
-all the habits of your life brings after it when it is guilt, is not an
-easy thing; but it supplies terse expressions and rapidity of narration.
-There is no desire to dwell upon the details, and to tell a story so
-deeply affecting one’s self to a politely unsympathetic listener who
-does not affect to be much interested or at all moved by the subtle
-self-defence which runs through every such statement, is still more
-conducive to brevity. Aubrey laid bare the tempest<a name="page_139" id="page_139"></a> that had swept over
-him with a breathless voice and broken words. He could not preserve his
-equanimity, or look as if it were an easy thing for him to do. He made
-the most hurried description of the visitor who had taken possession of
-his house, saying not a word beyond the bare fact. It had been deeply
-embarrassing that she should be there, though at first in the melancholy
-of his widowerhood he had not thought of it, or cared who was in the
-house. Afterwards he was prevented from doing anything to disturb her by
-his promise to his dying wife. Then had come the anxiety about the baby,
-the wavering of that little life in which the forlorn young father had
-come to take a little pleasure. She had been very kind to the child,
-watching over it, and when the little thing died, when the misery of the
-fresh desolation, and the pity of it, and the overwhelming oppression of
-the sad house had quite overcome the spirit of its young master, then
-she had thrown herself upon him, with all the signs of a sudden passion
-of sympathy and tenderness. Had any confessor skilled in the accounts of
-human suffering heard<a name="page_140" id="page_140"></a> Aubrey’s broken tale he could have found nothing
-but truth in it, and would have recognised the subtle sequence of events
-which had led to that downfall. But Colonel Kingsward, though not
-unlearned in men, listened like a man of wood, playing with the large
-paper-knife, and never looking towards the penitent, who told his story
-with such a strain of the labouring breast and agonised spirit. Had a
-young officer in whom he had no particular interest thus explained and
-accounted for some dereliction of duty he might have understood or
-sympathised. But he had no wish to understand Aubrey; his only desire
-was to brush him off as quickly as possible, to be done with his
-ridiculous story, to hear of him no more. He might be as little guilty
-as he described himself. What then? Aubrey’s character was nothing to
-Colonel Kingsward, except as it affected his daughter. He had cut him
-off from all connection with his daughter, and it was now quite
-immaterial to him whether the man was a weak fool or a deceiver.
-Probably from as much as he heard while thus listening as little as he
-could, Leigh was in the former<a name="page_141" id="page_141"></a> class, and certainly he did not intend
-to take a weak fool, who had shown himself to be at the mercy of any
-designing woman, into his family as the husband of Bee. Give him the
-benefit of the doubt, and allow that it had happened so, that the woman
-was much more to blame than the man, and what then? A sturdy sinner on
-the whole was not less but more easily pardoned than a weak fool.</p>
-
-<p>“This is all very well, Mr. Leigh,” Colonel Kingsward said, “and I am
-sorry that you have thought it necessary to enter into these painful
-details. They may be quite true. I will not offend you by doubting that
-you believe them to be quite true. But how, then, do you account for the
-letter which my wife, I believe, showed you, and which came direct from
-the lady’s own hand to mine?”</p>
-
-<p>“The letter was a letter which I wrote to my wife two years ago. There
-had been discussions between us on this very subject. I promised, on
-condition that Miss Lance should leave us, to make such arrangements for
-her comfort as were possible to me&mdash;to<a name="page_142" id="page_142"></a> settle a yearly income on her,
-enough to live on.”</p>
-
-<p>“Was that arrangement ever carried out?”</p>
-
-<p>“No; my wife became ill immediately after. I found her on my return in
-Miss Lance’s arms, imploring that so long as she lived her friend should
-not be taken from her. What could I do? And that prayer was changed on
-my poor Amy’s deathbed to another&mdash;that I would never send Miss Lance
-away; that she should always have a home at Forest-leigh and watch over
-the child.”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t wish to arouse any such painful recollections&mdash;especially as
-they can be of no advantage to anyone&mdash;but how does this letter come to
-have the date of last Christmas, more than a year after Mrs. Leigh’s
-death?”</p>
-
-<p>“How can I tell that, sir? How can I tell how the devilish web was woven
-at all? The note had no date, I suppose, and the person who could use it
-for this purpose would not hesitate at such a trifle as to add a date.”</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Leigh, I repeat the whole matter is too painful to be treated by
-me. But how is<a name="page_143" id="page_143"></a> it, if you regarded this lady with those sentiments,
-that you should have in a moment changed them, and, to put the mildest
-interpretation upon your proceedings, thus put yourself in her power?”</p>
-
-<p>The young man’s flushed and anxious face grew deadly pale. He turned his
-eyes from the inquisitor to the high blank light pouring in from the
-large window. “God knows,” he said, “that is what I cannot explain&mdash;or
-rather, I should say, the devil knows!” he cried with vehemence. “I was
-entirely off my guard&mdash;thinking, heaven knows, of nothing less.”</p>
-
-<p>“The devil is a safe sort of agency to put the blame on. We cannot in
-ordinary affairs accept him as the scapegoat, Mr. Leigh&mdash;excuse me for
-saying so. I will not refuse to say that I allow there may be excuses
-for you, with a woman much alive to her own interests and ready for any
-venture. You did write to her, however, on the day you left?”</p>
-
-<p>“I wrote to her, telling her the arrangement I had proposed to my wife,
-in the very letter which she has sent to you&mdash;that I<a name="page_144" id="page_144"></a> would carry it out
-at once, and that I hoped she would perceive, as I did, that it was
-impossible we should remain under the same roof, or, indeed, meet
-again.”</p>
-
-<p>“That was on what date?”</p>
-
-<p>“The evening before my child’s funeral. Next day, as soon as it was
-over, I left the house, and have never set foot in it again.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yet this lady, to whom you had, you say, sent such a letter, was at the
-funeral, and stood at the child’s grave leaning on your arm.”</p>
-
-<p>“More than that,” cried Aubrey, with a gasp of his labouring breath,
-“she came up to me as I stood there and put her arm, as if to support
-me, within mine.”</p>
-
-<p>The Colonel could not restrain an exclamation. “By Jove,” he said, “she
-is a strong-minded woman, if that is true. Do you mean to say that this
-was after she had your letter?”</p>
-
-<p>“I suppose so. I sent it to her in the morning. I was anxious to avoid
-any scene.”</p>
-
-<p>“And then, on your way to London, on that day, you went to your
-solicitors, and gave instructions in respect to Miss Lance<a name="page_145" id="page_145"></a>’s
-annuity&mdash;which you say now had been determined on long before?”</p>
-
-<p>“It was determined on long before.”</p>
-
-<p>“But never mentioned to any one until that time.”</p>
-
-<p>“I beg your pardon; on the day on which I wrote that letter to my wife I
-went direct to my lawyer and talked the matter over freely with Mr.
-Morell, who had known me all my life, and knew all the
-circumstances&mdash;and approved my resolution, as the best of two evils, he
-said.”</p>
-
-<p>“This is the most favourable thing I have heard, Mr. Leigh. He will, of
-course, be able to back you up in what you say?”</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Morell!” Aubrey sprang to his feet with a start of dismay. “I
-think,” he cried, “all the powers of hell must be against me. Mr. Morell
-is dead.”</p>
-
-<p>They looked at each other for a moment in silence. A half smile came
-upon the Colonel’s face, though even he was a little overawed by the
-despair in the countenance of the young man.</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t know that it matters very much,” he said, “for, after all, Mr.
-Leigh, your<a name="page_146" id="page_146"></a> anxiety to get rid of your wife’s companion might have two
-interpretations. You might have been sincerely desirous to free yourself
-from a temptation towards another woman, which would have given Mrs.
-Leigh pain. A man does not sacrifice two hundred a year without a strong
-motive. And subsequent events make this a far more likely reason than
-the desire to get rid of an unwelcome inmate.”</p>
-
-<p>“I cannot tell whether my motive was likely or not. I tell you, sir,
-what it was.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, yes&mdash;but unfortunately without any corroboration&mdash;and the story is
-very different from the other side. It appears from that that you wished
-to establish relationship during your poor wife’s life, and that it was
-the lady who was moved by pity for you in a moment of weakness&mdash;which is
-much more according to the rule in such matters.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is a lie!” Aubrey cried. “Colonel Kingsward, you are a man&mdash;and an
-honourable man. Can you imagine another man, with the same principles as
-yourself, guilty of such villainy as that? Can you believe&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Leigh,” said the other, “it is<a name="page_147" id="page_147"></a> unnecessary to ask me what I can
-believe; nor can I argue, from what I would do, as to what you would do.
-That may be of good Christianity, you know, but it is not tenable in
-life. Many men are capable enough of what I say; and, indeed, I do you
-the credit to believe that you were willing to keep the temptation at a
-distance&mdash;to make a sacrifice in order to ease the mind of your wife. I
-show a great deal of faith in you when I say that. Another man might say
-that Mrs. Leigh had exacted it from you as a thing necessary to her
-peace.”</p>
-
-<p>Aubrey Leigh rose up again, and began to pace the room from one side to
-the other. He could not keep still in his intolerable impatience and
-scorn of the net which was tightening about his feet. Anger rose up like
-a whirlwind in his mind; but to indulge it was to lose for ever the
-cause which, indeed, was already lost. When he had gained control over
-himself and his voice, he said, “We had neighbours; we had friends; our
-life was not lived in a corner unknown to the world. There is my mother;
-<a name="page_148" id="page_148"></a>ask them&mdash;they all know&mdash;&mdash;.”</p>
-
-<p>“Does anyone outside know what goes on between a husband and wife?” said
-Colonel Kingsward. “Such discussions do not go on before witnesses. If
-poor Mrs. Leigh&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Sir,” cried Aubrey, stung beyond hearing, “I will not permit any man to
-pity my wife.”</p>
-
-<p>“It was beyond my province I allow, but one uses the word for those who
-die young. I don’t know why, for if all is true that we profess to
-believe they certainly have the best of it. Well, if Mrs. Leigh, to
-speak by the book, had any such burden on her mind, and really felt her
-happiness to depend on the banishment of that dangerous companion, it is
-not likely that she would speak of it either to your neighbours or to
-your mother.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why not? My mother was of that mind, though not for that villainous
-reason; my mother knew, everybody knew&mdash;everybody agreed with me in
-wishing her gone. I appeal to all who knew us, Colonel Kingsward! There
-is not a friend I have who did not compassionate me for Amy’s insensate<a name="page_149" id="page_149"></a>
-affection. God forgive me that I should say a word against my poor
-little girl, but it was an infatuation&mdash;as all her friends knew.”</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t you think we are now getting into the region of the extravagant?”
-Colonel Kingsward said. “I cannot send out a royal commission to take
-the evidence of your friends.”</p>
-
-<p>Aubrey had to pause again to master himself. If this man, with his
-contemptuous accents, his cool disdain, were not Bee’s father!&mdash;&mdash; but
-he was so, and, therefore, must not be defied. He answered after a time
-in a subdued voice. “Will you allow me&mdash;to send one or two of them to
-tell you what they know. There is Fairfield, with whom you are
-acquainted already, there is Lord Langtry, there is Vavasour, who was
-with us constantly&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“To none of these gentlemen, I presume, would Mrs. Leigh be likely to
-unfold her most intimate sentiments.”</p>
-
-<p>“Two of them have wives,” said Aubrey, determined to hold fast, “whom
-she saw familiarly daily&mdash;country neighbours.”</p>
-
-<p>“I must repeat, Mr. Leigh, I cannot send<a name="page_150" id="page_150"></a> out a royal commission to take
-the evidence of your friends.”</p>
-
-<p>“Do you mean that you will not hear any evidence, Colonel
-Kingsward?&mdash;that I am condemned already?&mdash;that it does not matter what I
-have in my favour?”</p>
-
-<p>Colonel Kingsward rose to dismiss his suitor. “I have already said, Mr.
-Leigh, that I am not your judge. I have no right to condemn you. Your
-account may be all true; your earnestness and air of sincerity, I allow,
-in a case in which I was not personally involved, would go far to making
-me believe it was true. But what then? The matter is this: Will I allow
-my daughter to marry a man of whom such a question has been raised? I
-say no: and there I am within my clear rights. You may be able to clear
-yourself, making out the lady to be a sort of demon in human shape. My
-friend, who saw her, said she was a very attractive woman. But really
-this is not the question. I am not a censor of public morals, and on the
-whole it is a matter of indifference to me whether you are guiltless or
-not. The sole thing is that I will not permit my daughter<a name="page_151" id="page_151"></a> to put her
-foot where such a scandal has been. I have nothing to do with you but
-everything with her. And I think now that all has been said.”</p>
-
-<p>“That is, you will not hear anything more?”</p>
-
-<p>“Well&mdash;if you like to put it so&mdash;I prefer not to hear any more.”</p>
-
-<p>“Not if Bee’s happiness should be involved?”</p>
-
-<p>“My daughter’s happiness, I hope, does not depend upon a man whom she
-has known only for a month. She may think so now. But she will soon know
-better. That is a question into which I decline to enter with you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Men have died and worms have eaten them, but not for love,” said
-Aubrey, with a coarse laugh. He turned as if to go away. “But you do not
-mean that this is final, Colonel Kingsward&mdash;&mdash; not final? Not for ever?
-Never to be revised or reconsidered&mdash;&mdash; even if I were as bad as you
-think me?”</p>
-
-<p>“How needless is all this! I have told you your character does not
-concern me&mdash;<a name="page_152" id="page_152"></a>and I do not say that you are bad&mdash;or think so. I am sorry
-for you. You have got into a rather dreadful position, Mr. Leigh, for a
-young man of your age.”</p>
-
-<p>“And yet at my age you think I should be cut off for ever from every
-hope of salvation!”</p>
-
-<p>“Not so; this is all extravagant&mdash;ridiculous! And if you will excuse me,
-I am particularly busy this morning, with a hundred things to do.”</p>
-
-<p>Poor Aubrey would have killed with pleasure, knocked down and trampled
-upon, the immovable man of the world who thus dismissed him; but to be
-humble, even abject, was his only hope. “I will try, then, to find some
-moment of leisure another time.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is unnecessary, Mr. Leigh. I shall not change my mind; surely you
-must see that it is better for all parties to give it up at once.”</p>
-
-<p>“I shall never give it up.”</p>
-
-<p>“Pooh! one nail drives out another. You don’t seem to have been a
-miracle of constancy in your previous relationships. Good morning. I
-trust to hear soon that you have made as satisfactory a settlement of
-other claims.”<a name="page_153" id="page_153"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_X" id="CHAPTER_X"></a>CHAPTER X.</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Other</span> claims! What other claims? Aubrey Leigh went out of the office in
-Pall Mall with these words circling through his mind. They seemed to
-have nothing to do with that which occupied him, which filled every
-thought. His dazed memory and imagination caught them up as he went
-forth in the fury of suppressed anger, and the dizzy, stifled sensation
-of complete failure. He had felt sure, even when he felt least sure,
-that when it was possible to tell his tale fully, miserable story as it
-was, the man to whom he humbled himself thus, not being a recluse or a
-mere formalist&mdash;a man of the world&mdash;would at least, to some degree,
-understand and perceive how little real guilt there might be even in
-such a fault as he had committed. It was not a story<a name="page_154" id="page_154"></a> which could be
-repeated in a woman’s ears; but a man, who knew more or less what was in
-man&mdash;the momentary lapses, the sudden impulses, the aberrations of
-intolerable trouble, sorrow, and despair&mdash;&mdash;. Aubrey did not take into
-account the fact that there are some men to whom such a condition as
-that into which he himself had fallen in the desolation of his silent
-house&mdash;when death came a second time within the sad year, and his young
-soul felt in the first sensation of despair that he could not bear it;
-that he was a man signalled out by fate, to whom it was vain to
-struggle, to whom life was a waste and heaven a mockery&mdash;was
-inconceivable. Colonel Kingsward was certainly not a man like that. He
-would have said to himself that the mother being gone it was only a
-blessing and advantage that the child should go too, and he would have
-withdrawn himself decorously to his London lodgings and his club, and
-his friends would all have said that it was on the whole a good thing
-for him, and that he was young, and his life still before him. So,
-indeed, they had said of Aubrey, and so poor Aubrey had proved<a name="page_155" id="page_155"></a> for
-himself. Had there not been that terrible moment behind him, that
-intolerable blackness and midnight of despair, in which any hand that
-gripped his could lead him till the light of morning burst upon him, and
-showed him whither in his misery he had been led!</p>
-
-<p>Satisfy other claims? The words blew like a noxious wind through his
-brain. He laughed to himself softly as he went along. What claims had he
-to satisfy? He had done all that honour and scorn could do to satisfy
-the harpy who had dug her claws into his life. Should he try to
-propitiate her with other gifts? No, no! That would be but to prolong
-the scandal, to give her a motive for continuance, to make it appear
-that he was in her power. He was in her power, alas, fatally as it
-proved, if it should be so that she had made an end of the happiness of
-his life. She had blighted the former chapter of that existence,
-bringing out all that was petty in the poor little bride over whom she
-had gained so complete an ascendancy, showing her husband Amy’s worst
-side, the aspect of her which he might never have known but for that
-fatal companion<a name="page_156" id="page_156"></a> ever near. And now she had ruined him
-altogether&mdash;ruined him as in old stories the Pamelas of the village were
-ruined by a villain who took advantage of their simplicity. What lovely
-woman who had stooped to folly could be more ruined than this unhappy
-young man? He laughed to himself at this horrible travesty of that old
-familiar eighteenth century tale. This was the <i>fin de siecle</i> version
-of it, he supposed&mdash;the version in which it was the designing woman who
-seized upon the moment of weakness and the man who suffered shipwreck of
-everything in consequence. There was a horrible sort of ridicule in it
-which wrought poor Aubrey almost to madness. When the woman is the
-victim, however sorely she may be to blame for her own disgrace, a sort
-of pathos and romance is about her, and pity is winged with indignation
-against the man who is supposed to have taken advantage of her weakness.
-But when it is a man who is the victim! Then the mildest condemnation he
-can look for is the coarse laugh of contempt, the inextinguishable
-ridicule, to which even in fiction it is too great a risk to expose a<a name="page_157" id="page_157"></a>
-hero. He was no hero&mdash;but an unhappy young man fallen into the most
-dreadful position in which man could be, shut out of all hope of ever
-recovering himself, marked by the common scorn&mdash;no ordinary sinner, a
-man who had profaned his own home, and all the most sacred prejudices of
-humanity. He had felt all that deeply when he rushed from his house, a
-man distraught not knowing where he went. And then morning and evening,
-and the dews and the calm, and the freshness and elasticity inalienable
-from youth had driven despair and horror away. He had felt it at last
-impossible that all his life&mdash;a life which he desired to live out in
-duty and kindness, and devotion to God and man&mdash;should be spoiled for
-ever by his momentary yielding to a horrible temptation. He had thought
-at first that he never could hold up his head again. But gradually the
-impression had been soothed away, and he had vainly hoped that such a
-thing might be left behind him and might be heard of no more.</p>
-
-<p>Now he was undeceived&mdash;now he was convinced that for what a man does he
-must<a name="page_158" id="page_158"></a> answer, not only at the bar of God, where all the secrets of the
-heart are revealed, but also before men. There are times in which the
-former judgment is more easy to think of than the latter&mdash;for God knows
-all, everything that is in favour of the culprit, while men only know
-what is against him. A man with sorrow in his heart for all his
-shortcomings, can endure, upon his knees, that all-embracing gaze of
-infinite understanding and pity. But to stand before men who
-misconstrue, mis-see, misapprehend, how different a thing it is&mdash;who do
-not know the end from the beginning, to whom the true balance and
-perfect poise of justice is almost impossible&mdash;who can judge only as
-they know, and who can know only the husk and shell of fact, the
-external aspect of affairs by the side which is visible to them. All
-these thoughts went through Aubrey’s mind as he went listlessly about
-those familiar streets in their autumnal quiet, no crowd about, nothing
-to interrupt the progress of the wayfarer. He went across the Green
-Park, which is brown in the decadence of summer, almost as solitary as
-if he had been in his own desolate<a name="page_159" id="page_159"></a> glades at home. London has a
-soothing effect sometimes on such a still, sunny autumn day, when it
-seems to rest after the worry and heat and strain of all its frivolity
-and folly. The soft haze blurs all the outlines, makes the trees too
-dark and the sky too pale; yet it is sunshine and not fog which wraps
-the landscape, even that landscape which lies between Pall Mall and
-Piccadilly. It soothed our young man a little in the despair of his
-thoughts. Surely, surely at eight-and-twenty everything could not be
-over. Bee would in a year or two be the mistress of her own actions. She
-was not a meek girl, to be coerced by her father. She would judge for
-herself in such a dreadful emergency. After all that had passed, the
-whole facts of the case would have to be submitted to her, which was a
-thought that enveloped him as in flames of shame. Yet she would judge
-for herself, and her judgment would be more like that of heaven than
-like that of earth. A kind of celestial ray gleamed upon him in this
-thought.</p>
-
-<p>And as for these other claims&mdash;well, if any claim were put forth he
-would not shrink<a name="page_160" id="page_160"></a>&mdash;would not try to compromise, would not try to hide
-his shame under piles of gold. Now he had no motive for concealment, he
-would face it out and have the question set straight in the eye of day.
-To be sure, for a man to accuse a woman is against the whole
-conventional code of honour. To accuse all women is the commonplace of
-every day; but to put the blame of seduction upon one is what a man dare
-not do save in the solitude of his chamber&mdash;or in such a private
-inquisition as Aubrey had gone through that day. This is one of the
-proofs that there is much to be said on both sides, and that it is the
-unscrupulous of either side who has the most power to humble and to
-destroy. But the bravado did him good for the moment&mdash;let her make her
-claim, whatever that claim was, and he would meet it in the face of day!</p>
-
-<p>Other ideas came rapidly into Aubrey’s mind when he strolled listlessly
-into his club, and almost ran against the friend in whose house he had
-first met Colonel Kingsward, and through whom consequently all that had
-afterwards happened had come about. “Fairfield!” he cried, with a gleam
-of sudden hope in his eyes.<a name="page_161" id="page_161"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Leigh! You here?&mdash;I thought you were philandering on the banks of&mdash;some
-German river or other. Well! and so I hear I have to congratulate you,
-my boy&mdash;and I’m sure I do so with all my heart&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>You might have done so a week ago, and I should have responded with all
-mine. But you see me fallen again on darker days. Fate’s against me, it
-seems, in every way.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why, what’s the matter?” cried his friend. “I expected to see you
-triumphant. What has gone wrong? Not settlements already, eh?”</p>
-
-<p>“Settlements! They are free to make what settlements they like so far as
-I am concerned.”</p>
-
-<p>“Kingsward’s a very cool hand, Aubrey. You may lose your head if you
-like, but he always knows what he is about. You are an excellent
-match&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You think so,” said poor Aubrey, with a laugh. “Not badly off; a mild,
-domestic fellow, with no devil in me at all.</p>
-
-<p>“I should not exactly say that. A man is no man without a spice of the
-devil. Why, what’s the matter? Now I look at you,<a name="page_162" id="page_162"></a> instead of a
-victorious lover, you have the most miserable hang-dog&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Hang-dog, that is it&mdash;a rope’s end, and all over. Hang it, no! I am not
-going to give in. Fairfield, I don’t want to speak disrespectfully of
-any woman.”</p>
-
-<p>“Is it Mrs. Kingsward who is too young, herself, to think of enacting
-the part of mother-in-law so soon as this?”</p>
-
-<p>“Mrs. Kingsward is a sort of an angel, Fairfield, if it were not
-old-fashioned to say so&mdash;and, alas, I fear, she will not enact any part
-long, which is so much the worse for me.”</p>
-
-<p>“You don’t say so! That pretty creature, with all her pretty ways, and
-her daughter just the same age as she! Poor Kingsward. Aubrey, if a man
-shows a little impatience with your raptures in such circumstances, I
-don’t think you ought to be hard upon him.”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t believe he knows what are the circumstances, nor any of them.
-It is not from that cause, Fairfield. You know Miss Lance, poor Amy’s
-friend&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Once more he grew hot all over as he named her name, and turned his face
-from his friend’s gaze.<a name="page_163" id="page_163"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Remember her! I should think so, and all you had to bear on that point,
-old man. We have often said, Mary and I, that if ever there was a
-hero&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Fairfield! they have got up a tale that it was I who kept her at
-Forest-leigh against poor Amy’s will, and that my poor wife’s life was
-made miserable by my attentions to that fi&mdash;&mdash;.” Fiend he would have
-said, but he changed it to “woman,” which meant to him at that moment
-the same thing.</p>
-
-<p>Fairfield stared for a moment&mdash;was he taking a new idea into his
-commonplace mind? Then he burst into a loud laugh. “You can call the
-whole county to bear witness to that,” he cried. “Attentions! Well, I
-suppose you were civil, which was really more than anyone expected from
-you.”</p>
-
-<p>“You know, and everybody knows, what a thorn in the flesh it was. My
-poor Amy! Without that, there would have been no cloud on our life, and
-it all arose from her best qualities, her tender heart, her
-faithfulness&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>A dubious shade came over Fairfield’s face. “Yes, no doubt; and Miss
-Lance’s flattery<a name="page_164" id="page_164"></a> and blandishments. Aubrey, I don’t mind saying it now
-that you are well quit of her&mdash;that was a woman to persuade a fellow
-into anything. I should no more have dared to keep her&mdash;especially
-after&mdash;in my house, and to expose myself to her wiles&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“They never were wiles for me,” said Aubrey, again turning his head
-away. It was true, true&mdash;far more true than the fatal contradiction of
-it, which lay upon his heart like a stone. “I never came nearer to
-hating any of God’s creatures than that woman. She made my life a burden
-to me. She took my wife from me&mdash;&mdash;. She&mdash;&mdash; I needn’t get dithyrambic
-on the subject; you all know.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, yes, we all know; but you were too soft-hearted. You should have
-risked a fit of tears from poor Mrs. Leigh&mdash;excuse me for saying so
-now&mdash;and sent her away.”</p>
-
-<p>“I tried it a dozen times. Poor Amy would have broken her heart. She
-threatened even to go with her. And they say women don’t make
-friendships with each other!”</p>
-
-<p>Fairfield shrugged his shoulders a little. “I suffer myself from my
-wife’s friends,” he<a name="page_165" id="page_165"></a> said; “there’s always some ‘dear Clara’ or other
-putting the table out of joint, making me search heaven and earth when
-there’s anybody to dinner to find an odd man. But Mary has some&mdash;&mdash;”
-Sense, he was going to say, but stopped short. Mrs. Fairfield was one of
-those who had concluded long ago that dear Amy was a little goose, taken
-sad advantage of by her persistent friend.</p>
-
-<p>“Fairfield,” said Aubrey, “you could do me a great service if you would.
-Colonel Kingsward has just told me that he can’t send out a royal
-commission to examine my friends on this subject. You see him sometimes,
-I suppose. I know you belong to one of his clubs. Still more, he’s at
-his office all the morning, and you know him well enough to look in upon
-him there.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well?” said Fairfield, dubiously.</p>
-
-<p>“Couldn’t you stretch a point for my sake, and go&mdash;and tell him the real
-state of affairs in respect to Miss Lance, and how untrue it is, how
-ridiculously untrue, that she was kept at Forest-leigh by any will of
-mine? Why, it was a thing, as you have just said, that all the county
-knew! An infatuation&mdash;and<a name="page_166" id="page_166"></a> nothing less than the bane of my whole
-married life.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, I know&mdash;everybody thought so,” Mr. Fairfield said. That new
-idea&mdash;was it perhaps germinating faintly in his mind?&mdash;no one had
-thought of any other explanation, but yet&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“If you were only to say so&mdash;only as much as that&mdash;that all my friends
-recognised the state of the case.”</p>
-
-<p>“I could say that,” said Fairfield, with hesitation. “Don’t think me
-unfriendly, Aubrey, but it’s a little awkward for a man to interfere in
-another man’s affairs, and it’s not only your affairs that I know so
-well, but you see Kingsward’s too&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I am aware of that, Fairfield; still, to break off what I believe in my
-heart would be for his daughter’s happiness too&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“To be sure there’s the young lady to be taken into consideration,” said
-Fairfield, dubiously.</p>
-
-<p>It will be as well to carry this incident to its completion at once. Mr.
-Fairfield at the last allowed himself to be convinced, and he went that
-afternoon to the club, to which he<a name="page_167" id="page_167"></a> still belonged by some early
-military experiences, and where Colonel Kingsward was one of those who
-ruled supreme. He knew exactly when to find him at the club, where he
-strolled in after leaving his office, to refresh himself with a cup of
-tea, or something else in its place. The intercessor went up to the
-table at which the Colonel sat with the evening paper, and conversed for
-a little on the topics of the day. After these had been run over, and
-the prospects of war slightly discussed&mdash;for Colonel Kingsward had not
-much respect for Mr. Fairfield’s opinion on that subject&mdash;the latter
-gentleman said abruptly&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>“I say, Kingsward, I am very sorry to hear there is some hitch in the
-marriage which I was so glad to hear of last week.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, oh! So Leigh has been with you, I presume?” the Colonel replied.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes; and, upon my life, Colonel, there is not a word of truth in any
-talk you may have heard about that Miss Lance&mdash;&mdash;. We all know quite
-well the whole business. You should hear Mary on the subject. Of course,
-he can’t say to you, poor fellow, that his first<a name="page_168" id="page_168"></a> wife was a little
-queer, and that that woman made her her slave.”</p>
-
-<p>“No; it wasn’t to be expected that he would tell me that.”</p>
-
-<p>“But it’s true. She got completely the upper hand of that poor little
-thing. The husband had no influence. I believe he hated her&mdash;like the
-devil.”</p>
-
-<p>“You think so,” said the Colonel, with a strange smile, “yet it is a
-curious thing that he endured her all the same, and also that a wife
-should insist so in keeping another woman in her husband’s constant
-company&mdash;and an attractive woman, as I hear.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh! a devil of a woman,” cried Fairfield. “I was telling Aubrey I
-should no more have ventured to expose myself to her blandishments&mdash;&mdash;.
-One of those sort of women, you know, that you cannot abide, yet who can
-turn you round their little finger.”</p>
-
-<p>“And what did he say to that?” the Colonel asked, still with that smile.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, he said she never had any charm for him&mdash;and I believe it&mdash;for what
-with poor little Mrs. Leigh’s whims and vagaries, and the other’s
-flatteries and adulation and complete<a name="page_169" id="page_169"></a> empire over her, his life was
-made a burden to him. You should hear Mary on that subject&mdash;none of the
-ladies could keep their patience.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yet it appears Mr. Aubrey Leigh kept his&mdash;&mdash; until he got tired,” said
-the Colonel. “Believe me, Fairfield, when there is such an unnatural
-situation as that, there must be more in it than meets the eye.”</p>
-
-<p>Fairfield, a good, steady soul, who generally had his ideas suggested to
-him, went away very serious from that interview. It was very strange
-indeed that a woman should prefer her friend to her husband, and make
-things wretched for him in order to keep her comfortable&mdash;it was very
-curious that with a woman so much superior to Amy in the house, a woman
-of the kind that turn men’s heads, that mild Aubrey Leigh, who was not
-distinguished for force of character, should have never sought a
-moment’s relief with her from poor Mrs. Leigh’s querulousness. Fairfield
-accelerated his departure by an hour or two in order not to meet Aubrey
-again before he had poured those strange doubts and suggestions into his
-own Mary’s ears.<a name="page_170" id="page_170"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XI" id="CHAPTER_XI"></a>CHAPTER XI.</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> party of travellers whose progress had hitherto been like that of a
-party of pleasure, who had been interested in everything they saw, and
-hailed every new place with delight, as if that had been the haven of
-all their hopes, travelled home from Cologne in a very different spirit.
-For one thing, it could not be concealed that Mrs. Kingsward was ill,
-which was a thing that she herself and the whole family stoutly, one
-standing by another, had hitherto been able to deny. She had not gone
-far, not an hour’s journey, when she had to abandon her seat by the
-window&mdash;where it had always been her delight to “see the country,” and
-point out every village to her children&mdash;and lie down upon the temporary
-couch which Moulsey<a name="page_171" id="page_171"></a> prepared for her with shawls and cushions along one
-side of the carriage. She cried out against herself as “self-indulgent”
-and “lazy,” but she did not resist this arrangement. It effectually took
-any pleasure that there might have been out of the journey: for Bee, as
-may be supposed, though she was not melancholy, and would not admit,
-even to Betty, in the closest confidence, that she was at all afraid of
-the ultimate issue, was certainly self-absorbed, and glad not to be
-called upon to notice the scenery, but allowed to subside into a corner
-with her own thoughts. Charlie was in the opposite corner, exceedingly
-glum, and not conversible. Bee would not speak to him or look at him,
-and even Betty, that little thing, had said, “Oh, Charlie, how could you
-be so nasty to Aubrey?” for her sole salutation that morning. He was not
-sure even that his mother, though he had stood on her side and backed
-her up, was pleased with him for it. She talked to him, it is true,
-occasionally, and made him do little things for her, but rather in the
-way in which a mother singles out the pariah of the family, the one<a name="page_172" id="page_172"></a> who
-is boycotted for some domestic offence, to show him that all are not
-against him, than in the tone which is used to a champion and defender.
-So it was not wonderful that Charlie was glum; but to see him in one
-corner, biting or trying to bite the few hairs that he called his
-moustache, with his brows bent down to his chin, and his chin sunk in
-the collar of his coat&mdash;and Bee in another, very different&mdash;indeed, her
-face glorified with dreams, and her eyes full of latent light, ready to
-flash at out any moment&mdash;was not cheerful for the others.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Kingsward looked at them from one to another, and at little Betty
-between busied in a little book, with that baffled feeling which arises
-in the mind of a delicate woman when the strong individualities and
-wills of her children become first developed before her, after that time
-of their youth when all were guided by her decision, and mamma’s leave
-was asked for everything. How fierce, how self-willed, how determined in
-his opposition Charlie looked like his father, not to be moved by
-anything! And Bee, how possessed by those young hopes of her<a name="page_173" id="page_173"></a> own, which
-the mother knew would be of no avail against the fiat gone forth against
-her! Mrs. Kingsward knew her husband better than her children did. She
-knew that having taken up his position he would not give in. And Bee,
-with all that light of resistance in her eyes&mdash;Bee as little willing to
-give in as he! The invalid trembled when she thought of the clash of
-arms that would resound over her head&mdash;of the struggle which would rend
-her cheerful house in two. She did not at all realise that the cheerful
-days of that house were numbered&mdash;that soon it would be reduced into its
-elements, as a somewhat clamorous, restless, too energetic brood of
-children, with a father very self-willed, who hitherto had known nothing
-of them but as happy and obedient creatures, whose individual
-determinations concerned games and lessons, and who, so far as the
-conduct of life was affected, were of no particular account. Mrs.
-Kingsward was not yet aware that this was the dolorous prospect before
-her household; she only thought, “How am I to manage them all?” and felt
-her heart fail before Charlie’s ill humour and <i>parti pris</i>,<a name="page_174" id="page_174"></a> and before
-the bright defiance in Bee’s eyes. Poor Aubrey, whom she had learned to
-look upon as one of her own, half a son, and half a brother&mdash;poor
-Aubrey, who had gone so wrong, and yet had so many excuses for him, a
-victim rather than a seducer&mdash;what was happening to Aubrey this fine
-September morning? It made her heart sick in her bosom as she thought of
-all these newly-raised conflicting powers, and she so little able to
-cope with them. If she did not get strong soon, what would all these
-children do? Charlie would go back to college, and would be out of it.
-He had so strong a will, and was so determined to get on, that little
-harm would happen to him&mdash;and besides, he was entirely in accord with
-his father, which was a great matter. But Bee&mdash;Bee! It seemed to Mrs.
-Kingsward that it was on the cards that Bee might take matters into her
-own hands, and run away with her lover, if her father would not yield.
-What else was there for these young creatures? Mrs. Kingsward knew that
-she herself would have done so in the circumstances had <i>her</i> lover
-insisted; and she knew that he would no<a name="page_175" id="page_175"></a> more have consented to such a
-sentence&mdash;never, never!&mdash;than he had done to anything he disliked all
-his life. And Bee was like him, though she had never hitherto been
-anything but an obedient child. Mrs. Kingsward could not help picturing
-to herself, as she lay there, the elopement&mdash;Bee’s room found empty in
-the morning, the note left on the table, the so easy, so certain
-explanation, which already she felt herself to be reading. And then her
-husband’s wrath, his unalterable verdict on the criminal “never to enter
-this house again!” Poor mother! She foresaw, as we all do, tortures for
-herself, which she was never to be called upon to bear.</p>
-
-<p>As for Betty, it was the most tiresome journey in all her little
-experiences. A long journey was generally fun to Betty. The scuffle of
-getting away, of seeing that all the little packets were right, of
-abusing Moulsey for hiding away the luncheon basket under the rugs and
-the books in some locked bag, the trouble of securing a compartment,
-arranging umbrellas and other things in the vacant seats to make believe
-that every place was full, the watch at every station to prevent<a name="page_176" id="page_176"></a> the
-intrusion of strangers, the running from one side to another to see the
-pretty village or old castle, or the funny people at the country
-stations and the queer names&mdash;the luncheon in the middle of the day,
-which was as good as a pic-nic&mdash;all these things much diverted Betty,
-who loved the rapid movement through the air, and to feel the wind on
-her face; but none of these delights were to be had to-day. She was in
-one of the middle places, between Charlie, so glum and in a temper, and
-Bee, lost in her own thoughts and without a word to say, and opposite to
-mamma, who was so much more serious than usual, giving little Betty a
-smile from time to time, but not able to speak loud enough to be heard
-through the din of the train. She tried to read her book but it was not
-a very interesting book, and it was short too, and evidently would not
-last out half the journey. Betty was the only member of the party who
-had a free mind. The commotion of the romance between Bee and Aubrey had
-been pure amusement to her. It would be a bore if it did not end in a
-speedy marriage, with all the excitement of the<a name="page_177" id="page_177"></a> presents, the
-trousseau, the dresses (especially the bridesmaids’ dresses), the
-wedding day itself, the increased dignity of Betty as Miss Kingsward,
-the pleasure of talking of “my married sister,” the pleasure of visiting
-Bee, in her own house, and sharing all her grandeur as a county lady. To
-miss all this would be a real trial, but Betty had confidence in the
-fitness of things, and felt it was impossible that she should miss all
-this. And she was at ease in her little mind, and the present dreariness
-of this unamusing, unattractive journey hung all the more heavy upon her
-consciousness now.</p>
-
-<p>They arrived next day, having slept at Brussels to break the journey for
-Mrs. Kingsward, and the Colonel met them, as in duty bound, at Victoria.
-He gave Charlie his hand, and allowed Bee and Betty to kiss him, but his
-whole attention, as was natural, was for his wife.</p>
-
-<p>“You look dreadfully tired,” he said, with that half-tone of offence in
-which a man shows his disappointment at the aspect of an invalid. “You
-must have been worried on the journey to look so tired.”<a name="page_178" id="page_178"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Oh, no, I have not been at all worried on the journey&mdash;they have all
-been so good, sparing me every fatigue; but it is a tiresome long way,
-Edward, you know.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, of course, I know: but I never saw you look so tired before.” He
-cast a reproachful look round upon the young people, who were all ready
-to stand on the defensive. “You must have bothered your mother to
-death,” he said. “I am sorry I did not come out for her myself&mdash;undoing
-all the effect of her cure.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, you will see, I shall be all right when I get home,” Mrs. Kingsward
-said, cheerfully. “As for the children, Edward, they have all been as
-good as gold.”</p>
-
-<p>“You had better see to the luggage and bring your sisters home in a cab.
-I can’t let mamma hang about here,” said the Colonel, in his peremptory
-way. “Moulsey will come with us. I suppose you three have brains enough
-to manage by yourselves?”</p>
-
-<p>Thus insulting his grown-up children, among whom a flame of indignation
-lighted up, partially burning away their difficulties between
-themselves, Colonel Kingsward half<a name="page_179" id="page_179"></a> carried his wife to the carriage. “I
-thought at first I should have waited at Kingswarden till you came back.
-I am glad I changed my mind and came back to Harley Street,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, is it to Harley Street we are going?” said Mrs. Kingsward, faintly.
-“I had rather hoped for the country, Edward.”</p>
-
-<p>“You don’t look much like another twenty miles of a journey,” said her
-husband.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, perhaps not. I own I shall be glad to be quiet,” the poor lady
-said. What he wished had always turned out after a moment to be just
-what his wife wished for all the years of their union. She even meekly
-accepted the fact that the children&mdash;the nursery children, as they were
-called&mdash;the little ones, who were no trouble but only a refreshment and
-delight, would have been too much for her that first night. Secretly,
-she had been looking forward to the touch and sight of her placid
-smiling baby as the one thing that would do her good&mdash;and all those
-large wet kisses of Johnny and Tommy and Lucy and little Margaret, and
-the burst of delighted voices at the sight of mamma.<a name="page_180" id="page_180"></a> “Yes, I believe it
-would have been too much for me,” she said, with a look aside at
-Moulsey, who, as on many a previous occasion, would dearly have loved to
-box her master’s ears. “And I <i>do</i> believe it would have been too much
-for me,” Mrs. Kingsward added, when that confidential attendant put her
-to bed.</p>
-
-<p>“Perhaps it would, ma’am,” Moulsey said. “They would have made a noise,
-bless them&mdash;and baby will not go to anyone when he sees me&mdash;and
-altogether I shall be more fit for them, Moulsey, after a good night’s
-rest&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“If you get that, you poor dear,” said Moulsey, under her breath. But
-her mistress did not hear that remark any more than many others which
-Moulsey made in her own mind, always addressed to that mistress whom she
-loved. “If he said dying would be good for you, you would say you were
-sure of it, and that was what you wanted most,” the maid said within
-herself.</p>
-
-<p>It must not, however, be supposed from this that Colonel Kingsward was
-not a good husband. He had always been like a lover,<a name="page_181" id="page_181"></a> though a somewhat
-peremptory one, to his wife. And without him her young, gay,
-pleasure-loving ways, her love of life and amusement might have made her
-a much less successful personage, and not the example of every virtue
-that she was. Had Mrs. Kingsward had the upper hand, the family would
-have been a very different family, and its career probably a very
-broken, tumultuous, happy-go-lucky career. It was that strong hand which
-had controlled and guided her, which had been, as people say, the making
-of Mrs. Kingsward; and though she feared his severity in the present
-crisis, she yet felt the most unspeakable relief from the baffled,
-helpless condition in which she had looked at her children, feeling
-herself all unable to cope with them in the presence of papa.</p>
-
-<p>“I wonder if he thinks we are cabbages,” was Bee’s indignant exclamation
-as he turned his back upon them.</p>
-
-<p>“Apparently,” said Charlie, coming a little out of his sullenness. “Look
-here, you girls, get into this omnibus&mdash;happily we’ve got an
-omnibus&mdash;with the little things, while I go to the Custom House to get
-the luggage through.”<a name="page_182" id="page_182"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Betty, you get in,” said Bee. “I will go with you, Charlie, for I have
-got mamma’s keys.”</p>
-
-<p>“Can’t you give them to me?” Charlie cast a gloomy look about, thinking
-that Leigh might perhaps be somewhere awaiting a word, a thought which
-now for the first time traversed Bee’s mind, too.</p>
-
-<p>“Then, Betty, you had better go with him, for he doesn’t know half the
-boxes,” she said.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, you can come yourself if you like,” said Charlie, feeling in that
-case that this was the safest arrangement after all.</p>
-
-<p>“No, Betty had better go. Betty, you know Moulsey’s box and that new
-basket that mamma brought me before we left the Baths.”</p>
-
-<p>“Come along yourself, quick, Bee.”</p>
-
-<p>“No, I shall stop in the omnibus.”</p>
-
-<p>“When you have made up your minds,” cried Betty, who had slipped out of
-the vehicle at the first word. Betty thought it would be more fun to go
-through the Custom House than to wait all the time cooped up here.</p>
-
-<p>And Bee had her reward; for Aubrey was<a name="page_183" id="page_183"></a> there, waiting at a distance
-till the matter was settled. “I should have risked everything and come,
-even if the penalty had been a quarrel with Charlie,” Aubrey said, “but
-I must not quarrel with anyone if I can help it. We shall have hard work
-enough without that.”</p>
-
-<p>“You have seen papa?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, I have seen him: but I have not done myself much good, I fear,”
-said Aubrey, shaking his head. “Bee, you won’t give me up whatever they
-may say?”</p>
-
-<p>“Give you up? Never, Aubrey, till you give me up!”</p>
-
-<p>“Then all is safe, my darling. However things look now they can’t hold
-out for ever. Lies must be found out, and then&mdash;in time&mdash;you will be
-able to act for yourself.”</p>
-
-<p>“Do you think papa will stand to it like that, Aubrey?”</p>
-
-<p>Aubrey shook his head. He did not make any reply.</p>
-
-<p>“Tell me. Is it a lie?” she said.</p>
-
-<p>He bent down his head upon her hand, kissing it.<a name="page_184" id="page_184"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Not all,” he said, in an almost inaudible voice. “ I said that&mdash;at
-Cologne&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I did not understand,” said Bee. “No; it does not matter to me,
-Aubrey&mdash;not so very much; but if you promised&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I never promised&mdash;never! My only thought was to escape&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Then I can’t think what you have done wrong. Aubrey, is she tall, with
-dark hair, and beautiful dark eyes, and a way of looking at you as if
-she would look you through and through?”</p>
-
-<p>“Bee!” he said, gripping her fast, as if someone had been about to decoy
-her away.</p>
-
-<p>“And a mouth,” said Bee, “that is very pretty, but looks as if it were
-cut out of steel? Then, I have seen her. She sat down by me one day in
-the wood, when I was doing that sketch, and gave me such clever hints,
-telling me how to finish it, till she made me hate it, don’t you know.
-Is she horribly clever, and a good artist? and like that&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Bee! What did that woman say to you?”</p>
-
-<p>“Nothing very much. Asked me about the people at the hotel, and if there
-were any<a name="page_185" id="page_185"></a> Leighs&mdash;not you, she pretended, but the Leighs of Hurst-leigh,
-whom she knew. I thought it very strange at the time why she should ask
-about the Leighs without knowing anything&mdash;and then I forgot all about
-it. But to-day it came back to my mind, and I have been thinking of
-nothing else. Aubrey&mdash;she is older than you are?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“And she made you promise to marry her?” said Bee, half unconscious yet
-half conscious of that wile of the cross-examiner, coming back to the
-point suddenly.</p>
-
-<p>“Never, Bee, never for one moment in my misery! That I should have to
-make such a confession to you!&mdash;but there was no promise nor thought of
-a promise. I desired nothing&mdash;nothing but to escape from her. You don’t
-doubt my word, Bee?”</p>
-
-<p>“No; I don’t doubt anything you say. But I think she is a dreadful woman
-to get anybody in her power, Aubrey. My little drawing was for you. It
-was the place we first met, and she told me how to do it and make it
-look so much better. I am not very clever at it, you know; and then I
-hated the<a name="page_186" id="page_186"></a> very sight of it, and tore it in two. I don’t know why.”</p>
-
-<p>“I understand why. Bee, you will be faithful to me, whatever you are
-told?”</p>
-
-<p>“Till I die, Aubrey.”</p>
-
-<p>“And never, never believe that for a moment my heart will change from
-you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Not till I hear it from yourself,” she said, with a woeful smile. The
-despair in him communicated itself to her, who had not been despairing
-at all.</p>
-
-<p>“Which will never be&mdash;and when you are your own mistress, my
-darling&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, we shan’t have to wait for that!” she cried, with a burst of her
-native energy. “Dear Aubrey, they are coming back; you must go away.”</p>
-
-<p>“Till we meet again, darling?”</p>
-
-<p>“Till we meet again!”<a name="page_187" id="page_187"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XII" id="CHAPTER_XII"></a>CHAPTER XII.</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Bee</span> stole into her mother’s room as she went upstairs before that first
-dinner at home which used to be such a joyous meal. How they had all
-enjoyed it&mdash;until now. The ease and space, the going from room to room,
-the delight in finding everything with which they were familiar, the
-flowers in the vases (never were any such flowers as those at home!),
-the incursions of the little ones shouting to each other, “Mamma’s come
-home!” Even the little air of disorder which all these interruptions
-brought into the orderly house was delightful to the young people. They
-looked forward as to an ideal life, to beginning all their usual
-occupations again and doing them all better than ever. “Oh, how nice<a name="page_188" id="page_188"></a> it
-is to be at home!” the girls had said to each other. Instead of those
-hotel rooms, which at their best are never more than hotel rooms, a
-<i>genre</i> not to be mistaken, how delightful was the drawing-room at home,
-with all its corners&mdash;Bee’s little table where she muddled at her
-drawings, mamma’s great basket of needlework where everything could be
-thrown under charitable cover, Betty’s stool on which she sat at the
-feet of her oracle of the moment, whoever that might be, and all the
-little duties to be resumed&mdash;the evening papers arranged for papa (as if
-he had not seen enough of them in the daytime in his office!), the
-flowers to see after, the little notes to write, all the pleasant
-common-places of the home life. But to-night, for the first time, dinner
-was a silent meal, hurried over&mdash;not much better than a dinner at a
-railway station, with a sensation in it of being still on the road, of
-not having yet reached their destination. The drawing-room was in brown
-holland still, for they were all going on to Kingswarden to-morrow. The
-house felt formal, uninhabited, as if they had come home to<a name="page_189" id="page_189"></a> lodgings.
-All this was bad enough; but the primary trouble of all was the fact
-that mamma was upstairs&mdash;gone to bed before dinner, too tired to sit up.
-Such a thing had never happened before. However tired she was, she had
-always so brightened up at the sensation of coming home.</p>
-
-<p>And papa, though kind, was very grave. The happiness of getting his
-family back did not show in his face and all his actions as it generally
-did. Colonel Kingsward was very kind as a father, and very tender as a
-husband; the severity of his character showed little at home. His wife
-was aware of it, and so were the servants, and Charlie, I think, had
-begun to suspect what a hand of iron was covered by that velvet glove.
-But the girls had never had any occasion to fear their father. Bee
-thought that the additional gravity of his behaviour was owing to
-herself and her introduction of a new individual interest into the
-family; so that, notwithstanding a touch of indignation, with which she
-felt the difference, she was timid and not without a sense of guilt
-before her father. Never had she been rebellious or disobedient<a name="page_190" id="page_190"></a> before;
-and she was both now, determined not to submit. This made her
-self-conscious and rather silent; she who was always overflowing with
-talk and fun and the story of their travels. Colonel Kingsward did not
-ask many questions about that. What he did ask was all about “your
-mother.”</p>
-
-<p>“She is not looking so well as when she went away,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, papa, it’s only because she’s so tired,” cried little Betty. Betty
-taking upon her to answer papa, to take the responsibility upon her
-little shoulders! But Bee felt as if she could not say anything.</p>
-
-<p>“Do you really think so?” he said, turning to that confident little
-speaker&mdash;to Betty. As if Betty could know anything about it! But Bee
-seemed paralysed and could not speak.</p>
-
-<p>She stole, as I have said, into her mother’s room on her way upstairs,
-but she had hardly time to say a word when papa came in to see if Mrs.
-Kingsward had eaten anything, and how she felt now that she was
-comfortably established in her own bed. It irritated Bee to feel herself
-thus deprived of the one little<a name="page_191" id="page_191"></a> bit of possible expansion, and stirred
-her spirit. With her cheek to her mother’s, she said in her ear, “Mamma,
-I saw Aubrey at the station,” with a thrill of pleasure and defiance in
-saying that, though secretly, in her father’s presence.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Bee!” said Mrs. Kingsward, with a faint cry of alarm.</p>
-
-<p>“And he told me,” continued Bee, breathless in her whisper, “that papa
-was firm against us.”</p>
-
-<p>“Bee! Bee!”</p>
-
-<p>“And we promised each other we should never, never give up, whatever
-anyone might say.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, child, how dare you, how dare you?” Mrs. Kingsward said.</p>
-
-<p>How Bee’s heart beat! What an enlivening, inspiriting strain of
-opposition came into her mind, making her cheeks glow and her eyes
-flame! The whisper was, perhaps, a child’s device, perhaps a woman’s
-weakness, but it exhilarated her beyond description to say all this in
-the very presence of her father. There was a sensation of girlish
-mischief in it as well as defiance, which relieved all the<a name="page_192" id="page_192"></a> heavier
-sentiments that had weighed down her heart.</p>
-
-<p>“What are you saying to your mother, Bee? She must not be disturbed. Run
-away and let her rest. If we are to go back to Kingswarden to-morrow she
-must get all the rest that is possible now.”</p>
-
-<p>“I was never the one to disturb mamma,” said Bee, bestowing another kiss
-on her mother’s cheek.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, be a good child, Bee!” pleaded Mrs. Kingsward, almost without
-sound; for by this time the Colonel was hovering over the bed, with a
-touch of suspicion, wondering what was going on between these two.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, mamma dear, always,” said Bee, aloud.</p>
-
-<p>“What is she promising, Lucy? And what were you saying to her? Bee
-should know better at her age than to disturb you with talk.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, nothing, Edward. She was only giving me a kiss, and I told her to
-be a good child&mdash;as I am always doing; thinking to be heard, you know,
-for so much speaking,” the mother said, with a soft laugh.<a name="page_193" id="page_193"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Bee has always been a sufficiently good child. I don’t think you need
-trouble yourself on that point. The thing is for you to get well, my
-dear, and keep an easy mind. Don’t trouble about anything; leave all
-that to me, and try and think a little about yourself.”</p>
-
-<p>“I always do, Edward,” she said with a smile.</p>
-
-<p>He shook his head, but agitation had brought a colour to her cheeks, and
-to persuade one’s-self that it is only fatigue that makes a beloved face
-look pale is so easy at first, before any grave alarm has been roused.
-Yet, Colonel Kingsward’s mind was not an easy one that night. He was <i>au
-fond</i>, a severe man, very rigid as to what he thought his duty, taking
-life seriously on the whole. His young wife, who loved pleasure, had
-made him far more a man of society than was natural or indeed pleasing
-to him; but he had thus got into that current which it is so difficult
-to get out of without a too stern withdrawal, and his large young family
-had warmed his heart and dressed his aspect in many smiles and graces
-which did not belong<a name="page_194" id="page_194"></a> to him by nature. The mixture of the rigid and the
-yielding had produced nothing but good effects upon his character till
-now. But there is no telling what a man is till the first conflict of
-wills arises in his own household. Hitherto there had been nothing of
-the kind. His children had amused him and pleased him and made him
-proud. Their health, their prettiness, their infantile gaiety and
-delight in every favour accorded to them had been all so many tributes
-to his own supreme influence and power. Their very health was a standing
-compliment to his own health and vigour, from whom they took their
-excellent constitutions, and to the wonderful care and attention to
-every law of health which he enforced in his house. Not a drain escaped
-trapping, not a gas was left undisposed of where Colonel Kingsward was.
-He had every new suggestion in his nursery that sanitary science could
-bring up. “And look at the result!” he was in the habit of saying. Not a
-pale face, not a headache, not an invalid member there. And among the
-children he was as the sun in his splendour. Every delight rayed out
-from him. The<a name="page_195" id="page_195"></a> hour of his coming home was watched for; it was the
-greatest treat for the little boys to go in the dogcart with Simmons,
-the groom, to fetch papa from the station, while the others assembled at
-the door as at a daily celebration to see him arrive. Charlie was now a
-man grown, but he was a good boy, full of all right impulses, and there
-had never been any difficulty with him.</p>
-
-<p>Thus Colonel Kingsward had been kept from all knowledge of those
-contrarieties of nature which appear even in the most favoured regions.
-He was of opinion that he surrounded his wife with every care, bore
-everything for her, did not suffer the winds of heaven to visit her
-cheek too roughly. And it was true. But he was not at all aware that she
-saved him anything, or that his joyful omnipotence and security from
-every fret and all opposition depended upon her more than on anything
-else in the world. He did not know the little inevitable jars which she
-smoothed away, the youthful wills growing into individuality which she
-kept in check. Which was a pity, for the strong man was thus deprived of
-the graces of<a name="page_196" id="page_196"></a> precaution, and knew no more than the merest weakling
-what, as his children grow into men and women, every man has to face and
-provide against. If Colonel Kingsward was too arbitrary, too trenchant
-in his measures, too certain that there was no will but his own to be
-taken into account, the blame must thus be partially laid upon those
-natural fictions of boundless love and duty and sweet affectionate
-submission, which grow up in the nursery and reign as long as childhood
-lasts&mdash;until a more potent force of self or will or love, comes in to
-put the gentle dream to flight.</p>
-
-<p>It was thus that Colonel Kingsward considered the matter about Bee. It
-had been, of course, necessary to cross Bee two or three times in her
-life before. It had been necessary, or at least he had thought it
-necessary, to send her to school; it had been thought expedient to keep
-her back a year longer than she wished from appearing in the world.
-These decisions had cost tears and a little struggle, but in a few days
-Bee had forgotten all about them&mdash;or so, at least, her father thought.
-And a lover&mdash;at nineteen<a name="page_197" id="page_197"></a>&mdash;what was that but another plaything, a
-novelty, a compliment, such as girls love? How could it mean anything
-more serious? Why, Bee was a child&mdash;a little girl, an ornamental adjunct
-to her mother, a sort of reflection, not to be detached for a long time
-from that source of all that was delightful in her. Colonel Kingsward
-had felt with a delighted surprise that the child and the mother did
-“throw up” each other when he began to go out with them together. Bee’s
-young beauty showing what mamma’s had been, and Mrs. Kingsward’s beauty
-(so much higher and sweeter than any girl’s wild-rose bloom could be)
-showing what in the after days her child would grow to. To cut these two
-asunder for a stranger&mdash;another man, an intruding personality thrusting
-himself between the child and her natural allegiance&mdash;was oppressive in
-any shape. At the first word, indeed, and in the amusement furnished him
-by the letters that had been poured upon him, Colonel Kingsward’s
-consent had been given almost without thought. Aubrey Leigh was a good
-match, he had a fine place, a valuable estate, and was well spoken of<a name="page_198" id="page_198"></a>
-among men. If Lucy was so absurd as to wish her daughter to marry; if
-Bee, the silly child, was so foolish as to think of leaving her father’s
-house for another, that was probably as good a one as she could have
-chosen. I don’t know if fathers generally feel it a sort of desecration
-when their young daughters marry. Some fathers do, and some brothers, as
-if the creature pure by nature from all such thoughts were descending to
-a lower place, and becoming such an one as themselves. Colonel Kingsward
-was not, perhaps, visionary enough for such a view, yet he was slightly
-shocked in his sentiment about the perfection of his own house by this
-idea on his child’s part of leaving it for another. However, it was true
-he had a very large family, and to provide so well for one of them at
-the very outset of her career was a thing which was not to be despised.</p>
-
-<p>But when the second chapter of this romance, all so simple, so natural
-in its first phase, opened out, and there appeared a dark passage
-behind&mdash;a woman wronged who had a claim upon the man, a story, a
-scandal&mdash;whether it were true or untrue!&mdash;Colonel<a name="page_199" id="page_199"></a> Kingsward, in his
-knowledge of the world, knew that it did not so much matter whether a
-story was true or untrue. It stuck, anyhow; and years, generations
-after, when, if false, it had been contradicted and exploded, and
-acknowledged to be false, people still would shake their heads and say,
-“Wasn’t there some story?” For this reason he was not very rigid about
-the facts, part of which, at least, the culprit admitted. There was a
-woman and there was a story, and all the explanations in the world could
-not do away with these. What did it matter about the man? He, Colonel
-Kingsward, was not Aubrey Leigh’s keeper. And as for Bee, there would be
-some tears, no doubt, as when she was sent to school&mdash;a little passion
-of disappointment, as when she was kept back for a whole year, from
-seventeen to eighteen, in her “coming out”&mdash;but the tears and the
-passion once over, things would go on the same as before. The little
-girl would go back to her place, and all would be well.</p>
-
-<p>This was the man’s delusion, and perhaps it was a natural one, and he
-was conscious of wishing to do the best thing for her, of saving<a name="page_200" id="page_200"></a> her
-from the after tortures which a wife has to endure whose husband has
-proclivities towards strange women, and capabilities of being “led
-away.” That was a risk that he could understand much better than she
-could, at her age. The fellow might be proud of her, small blame to
-him&mdash;he might strive to escape from disgraceful entanglements by such an
-exceptionable connection as that of Colonel Kingsward, of Kingswarden,
-Harley Street, and the Intelligence Department; he might be very much in
-earnest and all that. He did not altogether blame the man; indeed, he
-was willing enough to allow that he was not a bad fellow, and that he
-was popular among his friends.</p>
-
-<p>But these were not enough in the case of a girl like Bee. And it was
-certainly for her good that her father was acting. She had known the man
-a month, what could he be to her in so short a time? This is the most
-natural of questions, constantly asked, and never finding any sufficient
-answer. Why should a girl in three or four weeks be so changed in all
-her thoughts as to be ready to give up her father’s house, the place in
-which<a name="page_201" id="page_201"></a> she has all her associations, the company in which she has been
-so happy, and go away to the end of the world, perhaps with a man whom
-she has known only for a month? It is the commonest thing in the world,
-but also the most mysterious, and Colonel Kingsward refused to believe
-in it, as so many other fathers have done. Bee would cry, and her mother
-would console her. She would fly into a childish passion, and struggle
-against her fate&mdash;for a few days. She would swear that she would never,
-never give up that new plaything, and the joy of parading it before the
-other girls, who perhaps had not such toys to play with&mdash;but all that
-nonsense would give way in a little to firm guidance and considerate
-care, and the fresh course of amusement and pleasure which the winter
-would bring.</p>
-
-<p>The winter is by no means barren to those who spend it habitually in
-town. It has many distractions. There is the theatre, there are
-Christmas gatherings without number, there are new dresses also to be
-got for the same, perhaps a pretty new bonnet or two thrown in by a
-penitent father, very sorry<a name="page_202" id="page_202"></a> even in his own interests to give his
-little girl pain. If all these pleasant things could not make up for the
-loss of a man&mdash;of doubtful character, too&mdash;whom she had only known for a
-month, Colonel Kingsward felt that it would be a strange thing indeed,
-and altogether beyond his power to explain.<a name="page_203" id="page_203"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIII" id="CHAPTER_XIII"></a>CHAPTER XIII.</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">It</span> was not possible, however, to remove Mrs. Kingsward to Kingswarden
-next day. She was too much fatigued even to leave her bed, and the
-doctor who came to see her, her own familiar doctor who had sent her to
-Germany to the celebrated bath, looked a little grave when he saw the
-condition in which she had come home. “No fatigue, no excitement,” was
-what he enjoined. She was to have nothing to excite, nothing to disturb
-her&mdash;to go to the country? Oh, yes, but not for some days. To see the
-children? Certainly, the children could not be kept from their mother;
-but all in moderation, with great judgment, not too long at a time, not
-too often. And above all she must not be worried. Nothing must be done,
-nothing<a name="page_204" id="page_204"></a> said to cross or vex her. When he heard from the Colonel a very
-brief and studiously subdued version of a little family business which
-had disturbed her&mdash;“I need not keep any secrets from you, doctor. The
-fact is that someone wanted to marry my girl Bee, and that I made some
-discoveries about him which obliged me to withdraw my consent.” The
-doctor formed his lips into a whistle, to which he did not give vent.
-“That accounts for it,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“That accounts for&mdash;what?” cried Colonel Kingsward, not without
-irritation.</p>
-
-<p>“For the state in which I find her. And mind my words, Kingsward, you’d
-better let your girl marry anybody that isn’t a blackguard than risk
-that sort of shock with your wife. Never forget that her life&mdash;&mdash; I mean
-to say that she’s very delicate. Don’t let her be worried&mdash;stretch a
-point&mdash;have things done as she wishes. You will find it pay best in the
-end.”</p>
-
-<p>“For once you are talking nonsense, my dear fellow,” said Colonel
-Kingsward; “my wife is not a woman who has ever been set upon having her
-own way.”<a name="page_205" id="page_205"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Let her have it this time,” said the doctor, “and you’ll never repent
-it. If she wants Bee to marry, let her marry. Bee is a dear little
-thing, but her mother, Kingsward, her mother&mdash;is of far more consequence
-to you than even she&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“That is a matter of course,” said Colonel Kingsward. “Lucy is of more
-importance to me than all the world beside; but neither must I neglect
-the interests of my child.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, bother the child,” cried the doctor, “let her have her lover; the
-mother is what you must think of now.”</p>
-
-<p>“You seem tremendously in earnest, Southwood.”</p>
-
-<p>“So I am&mdash;tremendously in earnest. And don’t you work your mind on the
-subject, but do what I say.”</p>
-
-<p>“Do you mean to say that my wife is in a&mdash;state of danger?”</p>
-
-<p>“I mean that she must be kept from worry&mdash;she must not be
-contradicted&mdash;things must not be allowed to go contrary to her wishes.
-Poor little Bee! I don’t say you are to let her marry a blackguard. But
-don’t worry her mother about it&mdash;that is the chief thing I’ve got to
-say.”<a name="page_206" id="page_206"></a></p>
-
-<p>“No, I shan’t worry her mother about it,” said the Colonel, shutting his
-mouth closely as if he were locking it up. When Dr. Southwood was gone,
-however, he stopped the two girls who were lingering about to know the
-doctor’s opinion, and detaching Betty’s arm from about Bee’s waist drew
-his eldest daughter into his study and shut the door. “I want to speak
-to you, Bee,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, papa.” In this call to her alone to receive some communication,
-Bee, as may be imagined, jumped to a conclusion quite different from
-what her father intended, and almost for the moment forgot mamma.</p>
-
-<p>“The doctor tells me that above everything your mother must be kept from
-worry. Do you understand? In the circumstances it is extremely important
-that you should know this.”</p>
-
-<p>“Papa,” she cried, half in indignation half in disappointment, “do you
-think that I would worry her&mdash;in any circumstances?”</p>
-
-<p>“I think that girls of your age often think that no affairs are so
-important as your own, and it is very likely that you may be of that<a name="page_207" id="page_207"></a>
-opinion, and I wish you to know what the doctor says.”</p>
-
-<p>“Is mamma&mdash;very ill?” Bee asked, bewildered.</p>
-
-<p>“He does not say so&mdash;only that she is not to be fretted or contradicted,
-or disturbed about anything. I feel it necessary to warn you, Bee.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why me above the rest?” she cried. “Am I likely to be the one to worry
-mamma?”</p>
-
-<p>“The others have no particular affairs of their own to worry her with.
-There must be no private talks, no discussions, no endeavours to get her
-upon what you may suppose to be your side.”</p>
-
-<p>Bee gave her father a glance of fire, but she felt that a little
-prudence was necessary, and kept the tumult of feeling which was within
-her as much as possible in her own breast. “I have always talked to
-mamma of everything that was in my mind,” she said, piteously. “I don’t
-know how I am to stop. She would wonder so if I stopped talking; and how
-can I talk to her except of things that are in my mind?”</p>
-
-<p>“You must learn,” said the Colonel, “to<a name="page_208" id="page_208"></a> think of her more than of
-yourself.” He did not at all mean to prescribe to her a course of
-conduct more elevated than that he meant to pursue himself, but then it
-was only in action that he meant to carry out his purposes, he was not
-afraid of committing himself in speech.</p>
-
-<p>Bee looked at him again with a gaze that asked a great many questions,
-but she only answered, “I will try my very best, papa.”</p>
-
-<p>“If you do, I am sure you will succeed, my dear,” he said, in a gentler
-tone.</p>
-
-<p>“Is that all?” she asked, hesitating.</p>
-
-<p>“That is all I want with you just now.”</p>
-
-<p>Bee turned away towards the door, and then she paused and made a step
-back.</p>
-
-<p>“Papa!”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, Bee.”</p>
-
-<p>“Would you mind telling me&mdash;I will not say a word to her&mdash;but oh, please
-tell me&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“What is it?” said the Colonel. He went to his writing table, and
-sitting down began to turn over his papers. His tone was slightly
-impatient, his eyebrows slightly raised, as if in surprise.</p>
-
-<p>“Papa, you must know what it is. I know that you have seen&mdash;Mr. Leigh!”<a name="page_209" id="page_209"></a></p>
-
-<p>“How do you know anything about it? What have you to do with whom I have
-seen? Run away. I do not mean to enter into any explanations on this
-subject with you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Then with whom will you enter into explanations? You cannot speak to
-mamma; she must not be worried. Papa, I am not a little girl now, to be
-told to run away.”</p>
-
-<p>“You seem to be determined not to lose a moment in telling me so.”</p>
-
-<p>“I should not have told you so,” said Bee, looking at him over the high
-back of his writing-table, “if you had not told me I was not to talk to
-mamma.”</p>
-
-<p>He looked up at her, and their eyes met; both of them keenly, fiercely
-blue, lit up with fires of combat. It is often imagined that blue eyes
-are the softest eyes&mdash;but not by those who are acquainted with the kind
-which belonged to the Kingswards, which might have been called
-sapphires, if sapphires ever flash and cut the air as diamonds do. They
-were not either so dark as sapphires&mdash;they were like nothing but
-themselves, two pairs of blue eyes that might have been made to order,
-so like were they<a name="page_210" id="page_210"></a> to each other, and both blazing across that table as
-if they would have set the house on fire.</p>
-
-<p>“That’s an excellent point,” he said. “I can’t deny it. What made you so
-terrifically clever all at once?”</p>
-
-<p>There is nothing more stinging than to be called clever in the midst of
-a discussion. Bee’s eyes seemed to set fire to her face, at least, which
-flashed crimson upon her father’s startled sight.</p>
-
-<p>“When one has someone else to think of, someone’s interests to take care
-of&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Which are your own interests&mdash;and vastly more important than anything
-which concerns your father and mother.”</p>
-
-<p>“I never said so&mdash;nor thought so, papa&mdash;but if they are different from
-yours, that’s no reason,” said Bee, bold in words but faltering in
-manner, “is it, why I should not think of them, if, as you say, they’re
-my own interests, papa?”</p>
-
-<p>“You are very bold, Bee.”</p>
-
-<p>“What am I to do if I have no one to speak for me? Papa, Aubrey&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I forbid you to speak with such familiarity<a name="page_211" id="page_211"></a> of a man whom you have
-nothing to do with, and whom you scarcely know.”</p>
-
-<p>“Papa, Aubrey&mdash;” cried Bee, with astonishment.</p>
-
-<p>Colonel Kingsward jumped up from his table in a fury of impatience. “How
-dare you come and besiege me here in my own room with your Aubrey?&mdash;a
-man whom you have not known a month; a stranger to the family.”</p>
-
-<p>“Papa, you must let me speak. You allowed me to be engaged to him. If
-you had said ‘no’ at first, there might, perhaps, have been some reason
-in it.”</p>
-
-<p>“Perhaps&mdash;some reason!” he repeated, with an angry laugh.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, for even then it was not your own happiness that was in question.
-It was I, after all, that was to marry him.”</p>
-
-<p>“And you think that is a reason for defying me?”</p>
-
-<p>“It is always said to be a reason&mdash;not for defying anybody&mdash;but for
-standing up for what you call my own interests, papa&mdash;when they are
-somebody else’s interests as well. You said we might be engaged&mdash;and<a name="page_212" id="page_212"></a> we
-were. And how can I let anyone, even you, say he is a stranger? He is my
-<i>fiancé</i>. He is betrothed to me. We belong to each other. Whatever
-anyone may say, that is the fact,” cried Bee, very rapidly, to get it
-all out before she was interrupted.</p>
-
-<p>“It is not at all a cheerful or pleasant fact&mdash;if it changes my little
-Bee, whom I thought I knew, to this flushed and brazen woman, fighting
-for her&mdash;&mdash;. Go, child, and don’t make an exhibition of yourself. Your
-mother’s daughter! It is not credible&mdash;to assault me, your father, in my
-own room, for the sake of&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Papa! don’t you remember that it is said in the Bible you are not to
-provoke your children to wrath? Mamma would have stood up for you, I
-suppose, when she was engaged to you. I may be flushed,” cried Bee,
-putting her hands to her blazing cheeks, “how could I help it? Forced to
-talk to you, to ask you&mdash;on a subject that gives you a right to speak to
-me, your own child, like that&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I am glad you think I have a right to speak as the circumstances demand
-to my<a name="page_213" id="page_213"></a> own child,” said the Colonel, cooling down; “but why you should
-be forced, as you say, to take up such an unbecoming and unwomanly
-position is beyond my guessing.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is because I have no longer mamma to speak for me,” Bee said.</p>
-
-<p>The creature was not without skill. Now she came back to the point that
-was not to be gainsaid.</p>
-
-<p>“We have had quite enough of this,” Colonel Kingsward replied. “Your
-mother, as you are quite aware, never set up her will against mine. She
-was aware, if you are not, that I knew the world better than she did,
-and was more competent to decide. Your mother would never have stood up
-to me as you have done.”</p>
-
-<p>“It would have been better, perhaps, sometimes, if she had,” cried Bee,
-carried away by the tide of her excitement. Colonel Kingsward was so
-astounded that he had scarcely power to be angry. He gazed at his
-excited child with a surprise that was beyond words.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, papa, papa! Forgive me! I never meant that; it came out before I
-was aware.”<a name="page_214" id="page_214"></a></p>
-
-<p>“The thought must have been there or it could not have come out,” he
-said.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, no; there was no thought there. It may be so with you, but not with
-us, papa. Words come into our mouths. We don’t think them; we don’t mean
-to say&mdash;they only seem to&mdash;hook on to&mdash;something that went before; and
-then they come out with a crash. Oh, forgive me, forgive me, papa!”</p>
-
-<p>“I suppose,” he said, with a half laugh, “that may be taken as a woman’s
-exposition of her own style of argument.”</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t call me a woman,” she said, with her soft small voice, aggrieved
-and wounded, drawing closer to him. “Oh, papa! I am only your little
-girl after all.”</p>
-
-<p>“A naughty little girl,” he said, shaking his head.</p>
-
-<p>“And without mamma to speak for me,” added Bee.</p>
-
-<p>The Colonel laughed aloud. “You wily little natural lawyer!” he said;
-but immediately became very grave, for underneath this burst of half
-angry amusement Bee had given him a shock she did not know of. All
-unaware of the edge of the weapons which<a name="page_215" id="page_215"></a> she used with a certain
-instinctive deftness, it did not occur to her that these words of hers
-might penetrate not only deeper than she thought, but far deeper than
-her own thoughts had ever gone. His wife’s worn face seemed suddenly to
-appear before Colonel Kingsward’s eyes in a light which he had never
-seen before, and the argument which this child used so keenly, yet so
-ignorantly, pierced him like a knife. “Without mamma to speak for me!”
-These words sounded very simple to Bee, a mischievous expedient to trap
-him in the snare he had laid for her. But if the time should ever come
-when they should be true! The Colonel was struck down by that arrow
-flown at a venture. He went back to his table subdued, and sat down
-there. “That will do,” he said, “that will do. Now run away and leave me
-to my work, Bee.”</p>
-
-<p>She came up to him and gave him a timid kiss, which the Colonel accepted
-quietly in the softening of that thought. She roamed about the table a
-little, flicking off an imperceptible speck of dust with her
-handkerchief, arranging some books upon the upper shelf<a name="page_216" id="page_216"></a> of his bureau,
-sometimes looking at him over that row of books, sometimes lingering
-behind him as if doing something there. He did not interfere with her
-movements for a few minutes, in the <i>attendrissement</i> of his thoughts.
-Without a mother to speak for her! Poor little girl, if that should ever
-be so! Poor little children unconscious in their nursery crying for
-mamma; and, oh, worse than all, himself without his Lucy, who had made
-all the world sweet to him! He was a masterfull man, who would stand to
-his arms in any circumstances, who would not give in even if his heart
-was broken; but what a strange, dull, gloomy world it would be to him if
-the children had no mother to speak for them! He made a sudden effort to
-shake off that thought, and the first thing that recalled him to himself
-was to hear Bee, having no other mischief, he supposed, to turn her hand
-to, heaping coals upon the little bit of fire which had been lighted for
-cheerfulness only.</p>
-
-<p>“Bee,” he cried, “are you still there? What are you doing? The room is
-like an oven already, and you are making up a sort of Christmas fire.”<a name="page_217" id="page_217"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I am so sorry&mdash;I forgot,” cried Bee, putting down the shovel
-hastily. “I thought it wanted mending&mdash;for you always like a good fire.”</p>
-
-<p>“Not in September,” he said, “and such weather; the finest we have had
-since July. Come, cease this fluttering about&mdash;you disturb me&mdash;and I
-have a hundred things to do.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, papa.” Bee’s little figure stole from behind him in the meekest
-way. She stopped in her progress towards the door to give a touch to the
-flowers on a side table; and then she went slowly on, going out. She had
-got her hand upon the handle of the door, and Colonel Kingsward thanked
-heaven he had got rid of her for the moment, when she turned round,
-eyeing him closely again though keeping by that means of escape. “Papa,”
-she said, softly, “after all the talk we have been having&mdash;you perhaps
-don’t remember that&mdash;you have never&mdash;answered my question yet.”</p>
-
-<p>“What question?” he said sharply.</p>
-
-<p>Bee put her hands together like a child, she looked at him beseechingly,
-coaxingly,<a name="page_218" id="page_218"></a> like that child returning to its point, and then she said
-still more softly, “About Aubrey, dear papa!”<a name="page_219" id="page_219"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIV" id="CHAPTER_XIV"></a>CHAPTER XIV.</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I will</span> not attempt to follow in detail the course of that autumn. It was
-a fine season, and Mrs. Kingsward was taken to her home in the country
-and recovered much of her lost health in the serene ending of the month
-and the bright days of October, which was a model October&mdash;everything
-that month ought to be. The trees had scarcely begun to take any
-autumnal colouring upon them when they reached Kingswarden&mdash;a house
-which stood among the Surrey hills; an old house placed not as modern
-houses are, pitched upon hillsides, or at points where there is “a
-view.” The old Kingswards had been moved by no such ridiculous modern
-sentiments. They had planted their mansion in a sheltered spot, where it
-would be safe from the winds that<a name="page_220" id="page_220"></a> range over the country and all the
-moorland heights. The gates opened upon a wild country road with an
-extravagant breadth of green pathway and grassy bank on either
-side&mdash;enough to have made a farmer swear, but very pleasant to the eye
-and delightful to a horse’s feet, as well as to the pedestrians, whether
-they were tramps or tourists, who walked or rode on bicycles&mdash;the latter
-class only&mdash;from London to Portsmouth. The house was old, red, and
-straggling, covered with multitudes of creepers. Sheets of purple
-clematis&mdash;the Jackmanni, if anybody wishes to know; intolerable name for
-such a royal garment of blossom&mdash;covered half-a-dozen corners, hanging
-down in great brilliant wreaths over old ivy and straggling Virginia
-creeper and the strong stalks of the climbing roses, which still bore
-here and there a flower. Other sheets of other flowers threw themselves
-about in other places as if at their own sweet will, especially the wild
-exuberance of the Traveller’s Joy; though I need not say that this
-wildness was under the careful eye of the gardener, who would not let it
-go too far. I cannot attempt to tell how many other<a name="page_221" id="page_221"></a> pleasant and
-fragrant and flowery things there were which insisted on growing in that
-luxurious place, even to the fastidious Highland creeper, which in that
-autumn season was the most gay, luxuriant, and delightful of all. The
-flowers abounded like the children, not to be checked, as healthy and as
-brilliant, in the fine, peaty soil and pure air. The scent of the
-mignonette, which in this late season straggled anywhere, seemed to fill
-half the country round. The borders were crowned with those autumn
-flowers which make up as well as they can for their want of sweetness by
-lavish wealth of colour&mdash;the glowing single dahlias, which this
-generation has had the good sense to re-capture from Nature after the
-quilled and rosetted artificial things which the gardeners had
-manufactured out of them, and the fine scarlet and blue of the salvias,
-and the glory of all those golden tribes of the daisy kind that now make
-our borders bright, instead of the old sturdy red geranium, which once
-sufficed for all the supplies of autumn, an honest servant but a poor
-lord. I prefer the sweetness of the Spring, when every flower has a soul
-in it, and breathes it all<a name="page_222" id="page_222"></a> about in the air, that is full of hope. But
-as it cannot always be Spring, that triumph of bright hues is something
-to mask the face of winter with until the time when the tortured and
-fantastic chrysanthemum reigns alone.</p>
-
-<p>This was the sort of garden they had at Kingswarden; not shut off in a
-place by itself, but bordering all the lawns, which were of the velvet
-it takes centuries to perfect. The immediate grounds sloped a little to
-the south, and beyond them was a very extensive, if somewhat flat,
-prospect, ending on the horizon in certain mild blue shadows which were
-believed to be hills. There was not much that could be called a park at
-Kingswarden. The few farms which Colonel Kingsward possessed pressed his
-little circle of trees rather close; but as long as the farms were let
-the family felt they could bear this. It gave them a comfortable feeling
-of modest natural wealth and company; the yeomen keeping the squire
-warm, they in their farmsteadings, he in the hall.</p>
-
-<p>And the autumn went on in its natural course, gaining colour as it began
-to lose its greenness and the days their warmth. The<a name="page_223" id="page_223"></a> fruit got all
-gathered in after the corn, the apple trees that had been such a sight,
-every bough bent down with its balls of russet or gold, looked shabby
-and worn, their season done, the hedges ran over with their harvest,
-every kind of wild berry and feathery seedpod, wild elderberries, hips
-and haws, the dangerous unwholesome fruit of the nightshade, the
-triumphant wreaths of bryony of every colour, green, crimson, and
-purple. The robins began to appear about Kingswarden, hopping about the
-lawns, and coming very near the dining-room windows after breakfast,
-when the little tribe of the nursery children had their accustomed
-half-hour with mamma, and delighted in nothing so much as to crumble the
-bread upon the terrace and tempt the redbreasts nearer and nearer. When,
-quite satisfied and comforted about his wife’s looks, Colonel Kingsward
-went off to the shooting, this little flock of children trailed after
-mamma wherever she went, a little blooming troop. By this time Charlie
-had gone back to Oxford, and the little ones liked to have the run of
-the lawns outside and the sitting rooms within, with nothing<a name="page_224" id="page_224"></a> more
-alarming than Betty to keep them in order. It is to be feared that the
-relaxation of discipline which occurred when papa was absent was
-delightful to all those little people, and neither was Mrs. Kingsward
-sorry now and then to feel herself at full ease&mdash;with no necessity
-anywhere of further restraint than her own softened perceptions of
-family decorum required. It was a moment in which, if that could be
-said, she was self-indulgent&mdash;sometimes not getting up at her usual
-hour, but taking her breakfast in her room, with clusters of little boys
-and girls all over her bed, and over the carpet, sharing every morsel,
-climbing over her in their play. And when she went out to drive she had
-the carriage full of them; and when she took her stroll about the
-grounds they were all about, shouting and racing, nobody suggesting that
-it would be “too much for her,” or sending them off because they
-disturbed mamma. She was disturbed to her heart’s content while the
-Colonel was away. She said, “You know this is very nice for a time, but
-it would not do always,” to her elder daughter: but I think that she saw
-no<a name="page_225" id="page_225"></a> necessity, except in the return of her husband, why it should not
-do, and she enjoyed herself singing to them, dancing (a very little)
-with them, playing for them as only the mother of a large family ever
-can play, that simple dance music which is punctuated and kept in
-perfect time by her heart as much as by her ear. For myself, I know the
-very touch upon the piano of a woman who is the orchestra of the
-children, who makes their little feet twinkle to the music. There is no
-band equal to it for harmony, and precision, and go. They enjoyed the
-freedom of having no one to say, “Hush, don’t make such a noise in the
-house,” of the absence of all the disturbable people, “the gentlemen,”
-as the servants plainly said, “being away” more, Mrs. Kingsward
-sometimes thought, with a faint twinge of conscience, than it was right
-they should enjoy anything in the absence of papa. Charlie was quite as
-bad as papa, and declared that they made his head ache, and that no
-fellow could work with such a row going on; it made the little carnival
-all the more joyous that he was out of the way.<a name="page_226" id="page_226"></a></p>
-
-<p>Bee had spent the six weeks since their return in a sort of splendour of
-girlish superiority and elation, of which her mother had not been
-unobservant, though nothing had been said between them. I am not sure
-that Bee did not enjoy the situation more than if Aubrey had been at
-Kingswarden wooing her all day long, playing tennis with her, riding
-with her&mdash;in every way appearing as her accepted lover. Circumstances
-had saved her from this mere vulgarity of beatitude, and she felt that
-in the very uncertainty of their correspondence, which was
-private&mdash;almost secret, and yet not clandestine&mdash;there was a wonderful
-charm, a romance and tinge of the unhappy and desperate, while yet
-everything within herself was happy and triumphant. It had never been
-said, neither by the Colonel nor by his wife (who had said nothing at
-all), that Bee was not to write letters to Aubrey nor to receive letters
-from him. I cannot imagine how Colonel Kingsward, in bidding her
-understand that all was over between Aubrey and herself, did not make a
-condition of this. But probably he thought her too young and<a name="page_227" id="page_227"></a> simple to
-maintain any such correspondence, and her lover too little determined,
-too persuadeable, to begin it. When Bee had received her lover’s first
-letter it had been under her father’s very eyes. It had come at
-breakfast between two girl-epistles, and Colonel Kingsward would not
-have been guilty of the pettiness of looking at his daughter’s
-correspondence for any inducement yet before him. She had the tremendous
-thrill and excitement of reading it in his very sight, which she did not
-hesitate to do, for the sake of the bravado, feeling her ears tingle and
-the blood coursing in her veins, never imagining that he would not
-observe, and setting her young slight strength like a rock in momentary
-expectation of a question on the subject. But no question came. Colonel
-Kingsward was looking at the papers, and at the few letters which came
-to him at his house. The greater part of his correspondence went to the
-office. He took it very quietly, and he never remarked Bee at all, which
-was little less than a miracle, she thought. And it was very well for
-her that this was one of the<a name="page_228" id="page_228"></a> mornings on which mamma did not come
-downstairs.</p>
-
-<p>This immense excitement was a little too strong for ordinary use, and
-Bee so arranged it afterwards that her letters came by a later post,
-when she could read them by herself in her room. The servants knew
-perfectly well of this arrangement&mdash;the butler who opened the post bag
-at Kingswarden, and the maid who carried Miss Bee’s letters
-upstairs&mdash;but neither father nor mother thought of it. That is, I will
-not answer for Mrs. Kingsward. She perhaps had her suspicions; but, if
-her husband did not forbid correspondence, she said to herself that it
-was not her business to do so. It seemed to her that nothing else could
-keep Bee so bright. Her disappointment, the shock of the severance, must
-have affected her otherwise than appeared if she had not been buoyed up
-by some such expedient. As for the Colonel, he thought nothing about it.
-He thought that, as for love, properly so called, the thing was
-preposterous for a girl of her years, and that the foolish business had
-been all made up of imaginative novelty, and the charm of the<a name="page_229" id="page_229"></a> position,
-which had flattered and dazzled the girl. Now that she had returned to
-all her old associations and occupations, the pretty bubble had floated
-away into the air. It had not been necessary even to burst it&mdash;it had
-dispersed of itself, as he said to himself he always knew it would. Thus
-he deceived himself with the easiest mind and did not interfere.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Kingsward had come upon her daughter seated out on the lawn under
-the great walnut tree, reading one of these letters, one morning when
-she had gone out earlier than usual, on an exceptionally fine day. Bee
-had thrust it away hastily into her pocket and came forward with burning
-cheeks when she heard her mother’s voice&mdash;but it was not till some time
-later that Mrs. Kingsward spoke. The day had kept up its morning
-promise. It was one of those warm days that sometimes come in October,
-breathing the very spirit of that contented season, when all things have
-come to fruition and the work of the year is done, and its produce
-garnered into the barns. Now we may sit and rest, is the sentiment of
-the much toiling<a name="page_230" id="page_230"></a> earth&mdash;all the labour being over, the harvest done,
-and no immediate need yet to rise again and plough. The world hangs
-softly swaying in space, the fields are fallow, the labourer rests. The
-sunshine lay warm upon the velvet grass, the foliage, thinned by one
-good blast a week ago, gave just shade enough, not too much; the
-tea-table was set out upon the lawn&mdash;the little horde had gone off
-shouting and skirmishing through the grounds, Betty at the head of them,
-supposed captain and controller, virtually ringleader, which comes to
-much the same thing. The air so hushed and silent in itself, half drowsy
-with profound peace, was just touched and made musical by their shouts,
-and Bee and her mother, with this triumphant sound of a multitude close
-by, were alone.</p>
-
-<p>“Bee,” Mrs. Kingsward said, “I have long wanted an opportunity to speak
-to you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, mamma,” she said, looking up with a rush of blood to her heart,
-feeling that the moment had come. But she would not have been Bee if she
-had not put a little something of her own into the thick of the crisis.
-“There were plenty of opportunities&mdash;we have been together all day.”<a name="page_231" id="page_231"></a></p>
-
-<p>“You know what I mean,” said Mrs. Kingsward. “Bee, I saw you reading a
-letter this morning.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, mamma.”</p>
-
-<p>“Who was it from?”</p>
-
-<p>Bee looked her mother in the face. “I have never made any secret of it,”
-she said. “I have read them openly before papa&mdash;I never would pretend
-they were anything different. Of course it was from Aubrey, mamma.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Bee!” said her mother. “You have never told me what your father
-said to you that morning. He told me that it was all over and done
-with&mdash;that he would never listen to another word on the subject.”</p>
-
-<p>“That was what he told me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Bee, Bee! and yet&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Stop a moment, mamma! He never said I was not to write; he never said
-there was to be no correspondence. Had he said so, I should have, at
-least, considered what it was best to do.”</p>
-
-<p>“Considered what was best! But you were not the judge. I hope you would
-have obeyed your father, Bee.”<a name="page_232" id="page_232"></a></p>
-
-<p>“I cannot say, mamma. You must remember that it is my case and not his.
-I don’t know what I should have done. But it was not necessary, for he
-said nothing about it.”</p>
-
-<p>“Bee, my dear child, he may have said nothing; but you know very well
-that when he said it was entirely broken off he meant what he said.”</p>
-
-<p>“Papa is very capable of saying what he means,” said Bee. “I did not
-think it was any business of mine to inquire what might be his secret
-meaning. Mamma, dear, don’t be vexed; but, oh, that would have been too
-hard! And for Aubrey, too.”</p>
-
-<p>“I think much less of Aubrey that he should carry on a clandestine
-correspondence with a girl like you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Clandestine!” cried Bee, with blazing eyes. “No more clandestine than
-your letters that come by the post with your own name upon them. If
-Aubrey did not scorn anything that is clandestine, I should. There is
-nothing like that between him and me.”</p>
-
-<p>“I never supposed you would be guilty of any artifice, Bee; but you are
-going completely<a name="page_233" id="page_233"></a> against your father&mdash;making a fool of him,
-indeed&mdash;making it all ridiculous&mdash;when you carry on a correspondence, as
-if you were engaged, after he has broken everything off.”</p>
-
-<p>“I am engaged,” said Bee, very low.</p>
-
-<p>“What do you say? Bee, this is out of the question. I shall have to tell
-your father when he comes back. “Oh! child, child, how you turn this
-delightful time into trouble. I shall be obliged to tell your father
-when he comes back.”</p>
-
-<p>“Perhaps it will be your duty, mamma,” said Bee, the colour going out of
-her face; “and then I shall have to consider what is mine,” she said.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Bee, Bee! Oh! how hard you make it for me. Oh! how I wish you had
-never seen him, nor heard of him,” Mrs. Kingsward cried.<a name="page_234" id="page_234"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XV" id="CHAPTER_XV"></a>CHAPTER XV.</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">This</span> communication made a little breach between Bee and her mother and
-planted a thorn in Mrs. Kingsward’s breast. She had been getting on so
-well; the quiet (which meant the riot of the seven nursery children and
-all their troublesome ways) had been doing her so much good, and the
-absence of every care save that Johnny should not take cold, and Lucy
-eat enough dinner&mdash;that it was hard upon her thus to be brought back in
-a moment to another and a more pressing kind of care. However, after an
-hour or two’s estrangement from Bee, which ended in a fuller expansion
-than ever of sympathy between them&mdash;and a morning or two in which Mrs.
-Kingsward remembered as soon<a name="page_235" id="page_235"></a> as she awoke that it would be her duty to
-tell her husband and break up the pleasant peace and harmony of the
-household&mdash;the sweetness of that <i>dolce far niente</i> swept over her again
-and obliterated or at least blurred the outline of all such troublous
-thoughts. Colonel Kingsward sent a hasty telegram to say that he was
-going on somewhere else for another ten days’ shooting, and that, though
-she exclaimed at first with a countenance of dismay, “Oh, children, papa
-is not coming home for another week!” in reality gave a pang of relief
-to her mind. Gliding into her being, she scarcely knew how, was an
-inclination to take every day as it came without thinking of
-to-morrow&mdash;which was perfectly natural, no doubt, and yet was an
-unconscious realisation of the fact, which as yet she had never put into
-words, nor had suggested to her, that those gentle days were numbered.
-Her husband’s delay was in one way like a reprieve to her. She had, like
-all simple natures, a vague faith in accident, in something that might
-turn up&mdash;“perhaps the world may end to-night”&mdash;something at least might
-happen in another ten days to<a name="page_236" id="page_236"></a> make it unnecessary for her to disturb
-the existing state of affairs and throw new trouble into the house. She
-did not waver at first as to her duty, though nothing in the world could
-be more painful; and Bee did not say a word to change her mother’s
-resolution. Bee had always been aware that as soon as it was known the
-matter must come to another crisis&mdash;and the scorn with which she
-regarded the idea of doing anything clandestine prevented her even from
-asking that her secret should be kept. It was not in her mind but in her
-mother’s that those faint doubtings at last arose&mdash;those half
-entertained thoughts that a letter or two could do no harm; that the
-correspondence would drop of itself when it was seen between the two
-that there was no hope in it; and that almost anything would be better
-than a storm of domestic dispeace and the open rebellion in which Mrs.
-Kingsward felt with a shudder Bee would place herself. How are you to
-break the will of a girl who will not be convinced, who says it is not
-your, but her affair?</p>
-
-<p>No doubt that was true enough. It was<a name="page_237" id="page_237"></a> Bee, not Colonel Kingsward, whose
-happiness was concerned. According to all the canons of poetry and
-literature in general, which in such matters permeate theoretically the
-general mind when there is no strong personal instinct to crush them,
-Bee had right on her side&mdash;and her mother’s instinct was all on the side
-of poetry and romance and Bee. She had not the courage to cut short that
-correspondence, not clandestine though unrevealed, which kept the girl’s
-heart alive, and was not without attractions to the mother also, into
-whose ear it might be whispered now and then (with always a faint
-protest on her part) that Aubrey had better hopes, that he had a
-powerful friend who was going to speak for him. If they really meant to
-be faithful to each other&mdash;and there was no doubt that was what they
-meant&mdash;they must win the day in the end; and what harm would it do in
-the meantime that they should hear of each other from time to time?
-Whereas, if she betrayed the secret, there would at once be a dreadful
-commotion in the house, and Bee would confront her father and tell him
-with those blazing eyes,<a name="page_238" id="page_238"></a> so like his, that it was her affair. Mrs.
-Kingsward knew that her husband would never stoop to the manœuvre of
-intercepting letters, or keeping a watch upon those that his daughter
-received; and what can you do to a girl who says that? She shrank more
-than any words could say from the renewal of the conflict. She had been
-so thankful to believe that it had passed over and all things settled
-into peace while she was ill. Now that she was better her heart sank
-within her at the thought of bringing it all on again, which would also
-make her ill again she was convinced. Yet, at the same time, if she
-could not persuade Bee to give it up of herself (of which there was no
-hope whatever), then she must, it was her duty, inform her husband. But
-her heart rose a little at that ten days’ reprieve. Perhaps the world
-might end to-night. Something might happen to make it unnecessary in
-those ten days.</p>
-
-<p>And something did happen, though not in any way what Mrs. Kingsward
-could have wished.</p>
-
-<p>Colonel Kingsward’s return was approaching<a name="page_239" id="page_239"></a> very near when on one of
-those bright October afternoons a lady from the neighbourhood&mdash;nay, it
-was the clergywoman of the parish, the Rector of Kingswarden’s wife, the
-very nearest of all neighbours&mdash;came to call. She had just returned from
-that series of visits which in the autumn is&mdash;with all who respect
-themselves&mdash;the natural course of events. Mrs. Chichester was a woman of
-good connection, of “private means,” and more or less “in society,” so
-that she carried out this programme quite as if she had been a great
-lady. She had an air of importance about her, which seemed to shadow
-forth from her very entrance something that she had to say&mdash;an unusual
-gravity, a look of having to make up her mind to a certain action which
-was not without difficulty. There passed a glance between Mrs. Kingsward
-and Bee, in which they said to each other, “What is it this time?” as
-clearly as words could have said; for, to be sure, they were well
-acquainted with this lady’s ways. She sat for a little, and talked of
-their respective travels since they had last met; and of the pleasant
-weeks she had passed at<a name="page_240" id="page_240"></a> Homburg, where so many pleasant people were
-always to be met after the London season; and then she lightly touched
-on the fact that she had come over early in September, and since then
-had been staying at a number of country places, with the dear Bishop,
-and at Lady Grandmaison’s, and with old Sir Thomas down in Devonshire,
-and so on.</p>
-
-<p>“Or,” she concluded, with a disproportionate emphasis on that apparently
-unimportant word, “I should have been to see you long ago.”</p>
-
-<p>There was a significance in this which again made Mrs. Kingsward and Bee
-exchange a look&mdash;a laughing glance&mdash;as of those who had heard the phrase
-before. When, however, she had asked some questions about Mrs.
-Kingsward’s health, and expressed the proper feeling&mdash;sorry to hear she
-had been so poorly; delighted that she was so much better&mdash;Mrs.
-Chichester departed from her established use and wont. Instead of
-beginning upon the real object of her visit, after she had taken her cup
-of tea, with a “Now,” (also very emphatic) “I want<a name="page_241" id="page_241"></a> to interest you in
-something I have very much at heart,”&mdash;which was generally a
-subscription, a society, a bazaar, a missionary meeting, or something of
-the sort&mdash;Mrs. Chichester bent forward and said, in a half whisper, “I
-have something I want very much to talk to you about. Could I speak to
-you for a moment&mdash;alone?”</p>
-
-<p>Bee was much surprised, but took her part with promptitude. “You want to
-get rid of me,” she said. “I shall go out on to the terrace, mamma, and
-you can call me from the window when you want me. I shall be sure to
-hear.”</p>
-
-<p>There was another look between them, always with a laugh in it, as she
-stepped out of the open window, with a book in her hand, a look which
-repeated, “What can it be, now?” with the same amusement as at first,
-but with more surprise. Bee made a circuit round the lawn with her book,
-one finger shut in it to mark the place; looking at the flowers, as one
-does who knows every plant individually, and notes each bud that is
-opening, and which are about to fall. She calculated within herself how
-long the dahlias would last, and<a name="page_242" id="page_242"></a> that the Gloire de Dijon roses must be
-cut to-morrow, as she pursued her way towards the walnut tree, under
-which she meant to place herself. But Bee had not been there many
-minutes before she felt a little shiver creep over her. It was getting
-rather cold in this late October to sit out of doors, when the sun was
-already off the garden, and she had, as girls say, “nothing on.” She got
-up again, and made her way round to a garden bench which was set against
-the wall of the house, at the spot where the sunshine lasted longest.
-There was still a level ray of ruddy light pouring on that seat, and Bee
-forgot, or rather never thought, that it was close to the drawing-room
-window. Her mind was not much exercised about Mrs. Chichester’s secret,
-which probably concerned the mothers and babies of the parish, and which
-she certainly had no curiosity to hear. Besides, no doubt, the visitor
-had told by this time all the private details there were to tell. Bee
-sat down upon the bench, taking no precautions to disguise the sound of
-her footsteps, and opened her book. She was not an enthusiastic student,
-though she liked a novel as well as anyone;<a name="page_243" id="page_243"></a> but her eyes strayed from
-it to the great width of the horizon in front of her, and the ruddy
-glory in the west, in which was just about to disappear that last long
-golden ray of the sun.</p>
-
-<p>Then she heard a low cry&mdash;an exclamation, stifled, yet full of horror.
-Was it mamma? What could the clergywoman be saying to bring from mamma’s
-lips such a cry? Bee&mdash;I cannot blame her&mdash;pricked up her ears. Mrs.
-Kingsward was not strong enough to be disturbed by horrors with which
-she had nothing to do.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I cannot believe it; I cannot believe it!” she said.</p>
-
-<p>“But,” said the other voice, with that emphasis at which Bee had laughed
-so often, “I can assure you it is true. I saw him myself shaking hands
-with the woman at the station. I might not have believed Miss Tatham’s
-story, but I saw with my own eyes that it was Mr. Leigh. I had met him
-at Sir Thomas’s the year before&mdash;when he was still in deep mourning for
-his wife, you know.”</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Leigh! So it was something about<a name="page_244" id="page_244"></a> Aubrey! Then it was Bee’s
-business still more than her mother’s, and she listened without any
-further thought.</p>
-
-<p>“But,” said Mrs. Kingsward, as if taking courage, “you must be mistaken;
-oh, not about seeing him shake hands with a woman&mdash;why shouldn’t he
-shake hands with a woman? He is very friendly with everybody. Perhaps he
-knew her, and there is nothing to find fault with in that.”</p>
-
-<p>“Now,” said Mrs. Chichester, solemnly, “should I have mentioned it had
-it been confined to that? I only told you of that as a proof. The thing
-is that he put in this woman&mdash;a common woman, like a servant&mdash;into a
-sleeping carriage&mdash;you know what those sleeping carriages cost; a
-perfect fortune; far too much for any comfort there is in them&mdash;in the
-middle of the night, with her two children. The woman behaved quite
-nicely, Miss Tatham says, and looked shocked to be put in with a lady,
-and blushed all over her face, and told that ridiculous story to account
-for it. Poor thing! One can only be sorry for her. Probably some poor
-thing deceived, and thinking she was to be<a name="page_245" id="page_245"></a> made a lady of. But I know
-what you must think of the man, Mrs. Kingsward, who could do such a
-thing on his way from staying with your own family, even if there had
-been no more in it than that.”</p>
-
-<p>“But Mr. Leigh is very kind&mdash;kind to everybody&mdash;it might have been
-nothing but charity.”</p>
-
-<p>“Charity&mdash;in an express train sleeping carriage! Well, I confess I never
-heard of charity like that. Gentlemen generally know better than to
-compromise themselves for nothing in that sort of way. They are more
-afraid of risking themselves in railway carriages and that kind of thing
-than girls are&mdash;much more afraid. And if you remember, Mrs. Kingsward,
-what kind of reputation Mr. Leigh had in his poor wife’s time&mdash;keeping
-that Miss Lance all the time in her very house under her eyes.”</p>
-
-<p>“I have always heard that it was Mrs. Leigh who insisted upon keeping
-Miss Lance&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Is it likely?” said Mrs. Chichester. “I ask you, knowing what you do of
-human nature? And then a thing to happen like this<a name="page_246" id="page_246"></a> on his very way
-home&mdash;when he had just left you and poor little Bee. Oh, it is
-shameless, shameless! I could not contain myself when I heard of it. And
-then it was said that the Colonel had broken off the engagement, and I
-thought it would be a comfort to you to know that other things were
-occurring every day, and that it was the only thing to do.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is no comfort to me&mdash;and I cannot&mdash;I cannot believe it!”</p>
-
-<p>“Dear Mrs. Kingsward, you always take the best view; but if you had seen
-him, as I did, holding the woman’s hand, bending over her with such a
-look!&mdash;I was afraid he would kiss her, there, before everybody. And I,
-knowing of the engagement, and that he had just left you&mdash;before Miss
-Tatham said a word&mdash;I sat and stared, and couldn’t believe my eyes. It
-was the tenth of September, and he had left Bee, hadn’t he, the night
-before?”</p>
-
-<p>“I never remember dates,” said Mrs. Kingsward, querulously.</p>
-
-<p>“I do,” replied the visitor, “and I took the trouble to find out. At
-least, I found out by accident, through someone who saw him<a name="page_247" id="page_247"></a> at the
-club, and who had just discovered the rights of that story about Miss
-Lance. Oh, I trust you will not be beguiled by his being a good <i>parti</i>,
-or that sort of thing, to trust dear Bee in such hands! Marriage is
-always rather a disenchantment; but think what it would be in such a
-case&mdash;a man that can’t be trusted to travel between Cologne and London
-without&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t believe it! I don’t believe it!” said Mrs. Kingsward; and Bee
-heard that her mother had melted into tears.</p>
-
-<p>“That is as good as saying you don’t believe me, who saw it with my own
-eyes,” said the visitor, getting up. “Indeed, I didn’t mean at all to
-distress you, for I thought that, as everything was broken off&mdash;I
-thought only if you had any doubts, as one has sometimes after one has
-settled a thing&mdash;that to know he was a man like that, with no respect
-for anything, who could leave his <i>fiancée</i>, and just plunge,
-plunge&mdash;there is no other word for it&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>It was evident that Mrs. Kingsward, reduced to helplessness, here made
-no effort either to detain her visitor or to contradict<a name="page_248" id="page_248"></a> her further, or
-indeed to make any remark. There was a step or two across the room, and
-then Mrs. Chichester said again&mdash;“Good-bye, dear. I am very sorry to
-have distressed you&mdash;but I couldn’t leave you in ignorance of such a
-thing for dear Bee’s sake; that is the one thing to be thankful for in
-the whole matter, that Bee doesn’t seem to mind a bit! She looks just as
-bright and just as nice as if nothing had happened. She can’t have cared
-for him! Only flattered, I suppose, and pleased to have a proposal&mdash;as
-those little things are, poor things. We should all thank heaven on our
-knees that there’s no question of a broken heart in Bee’s case&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>She might not have been so sure of that had she seen the figure which
-came through the window the moment the door had closed upon her&mdash;Bee
-with her blue eyes blazing wildly out of her white face, and strange
-passion in every line both of features and form.</p>
-
-<p>“What is the meaning of it?” she said, briefly, with dry lips.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Bee, you have heard it all!”<a name="page_249" id="page_249"></a></p>
-
-<p>“I have heard enough&mdash;what does it mean, mamma?”</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Kingsward roused herself, dried her eyes, and went forward to Bee
-with outstretched arms; but the girl turned away. “I don’t want to be
-petted. I want to know what&mdash;what it means,” she said.</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t believe it,” cried Mrs. Kingsward.</p>
-
-<p>“Give a reason; don’t say things to quiet me. Oh, keep your arms away,
-mamma! Don’t pet me as if I wanted that! Why don’t you believe it? And
-if you did believe it&mdash;what does it mean&mdash;what does it mean?”<a name="page_250" id="page_250"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XVI" id="CHAPTER_XVI"></a>CHAPTER XVI.</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Bee’s</span> look of scared and horrified misery was something new in Mrs.
-Kingsward’s experience. The girl had not known any trouble. Her father’s
-rejection of her lover and the apparent break between them had been in
-reality only another feature in the romance. She had almost liked it
-better so. There had been no time to pine, to feel the pain of
-separation. It was all the more like a poem, like what every love story
-should be, that this breaking off should have come.</p>
-
-<p>And now, all at once, without any warning! The worst of it was that Bee
-had only heard a part of the story, the recapitulation of it. Mrs.
-Chichester had given the accused more or less fair play. She had given
-an imperfect<a name="page_251" id="page_251"></a> account of the explanation, the story the woman had
-told&mdash;as was almost inevitable to a third party, but she had given it to
-the best of her ability, not meaning to deceive, willing enough that he
-should have the benefit of the doubt, or perhaps that the judgment upon
-him should be all the more hard, because of his attempt to mingle deceit
-with his sin, and throw dust in the eyes of any possible spectators.
-This was the way in which it had appeared to herself, but she was not
-unfair. She told the story which had been told to the astonished lady
-upon whose solitude the little party had been obtruded in the middle of
-the night, and who had heard it perhaps even imperfectly at first hand
-mingled with the jolting and jarring of the train and the murmur of the
-children. And yet Mrs. Chichester had repeated it honestly.</p>
-
-<p>But Bee had not heard that part of the tale. She had heard only the
-facts of the case which had presented to her inexperienced young mind
-the most wild and dreadful picture. Her lover, who had just left her,
-whom she had promised to stand by till<a name="page_252" id="page_252"></a> death, suddenly appeared to her
-in the pale darkness of the midnight with a woman and children hanging
-on to him&mdash;belonging to him, as appeared. Where had he met them? How had
-he arranged to meet them? When her hand had been in his, when he had
-been asking from her that pledge till death, had he just been arranging
-all that&mdash;giving them that rendezvous&mdash;settling how they were to meet,
-and where? A horror and sickness came over poor Bee. It made her head
-swim and her limbs tremble. To leave her with her pledge in his ears,
-and to meet, perhaps at the very outset of his journey, the woman with
-the children&mdash;a common sort of woman, like a servant. As if that made
-any difference! If she had been a duchess it would have been all the
-same. He must have met her fresh from Bee’s presence, with his farewell
-to the girl whom he had pretended to love still on his lips. She could
-not think so clearly. Was this picture burnt in upon her mind? She
-seemed to see the dim, half-lighted carriage, and Aubrey at the door
-putting the party in. And then at Dover, in the daylight, shaking hands
-with his companion, bending over her<a name="page_253" id="page_253"></a> as if he meant to kiss her! These
-two pictures took possession of Bee’s mind completely. And all this just
-when he had left Bee&mdash;between his farewell to her and his interview with
-her father! If she had heard of the story which the woman had told to
-the startled Miss Tatham in the dim sleeping carriage, from which,
-looking out, she had recognised Aubrey Leigh, it might have made a
-difference. But that story had not been told in Bee’s hearing. And Mrs.
-Kingsward did not know this, but supposed she had heard the whole from
-beginning to end.</p>
-
-<p>Bee’s mother, to tell the truth, after the first shock, was glad of that
-unconscious eaves-dropping on Bee’s part; for how could she have told
-her? Indeed, the story was too gross, too flagrant to be believed by
-herself. She felt sure that there must be some explanation of it other
-than the vulgar one which was put upon it by these ladies; but she knew
-very well that the same interpretation would be put upon it by her
-husband, and many other people to whom Aubrey’s innocent interference in
-such a case<a name="page_254" id="page_254"></a> would have seemed much less credible than guilt. Guilt is
-the thing that generally rises first as the explanation of everything,
-to the mind, both of the man and woman of the world. The impossibility
-of a man leaving a delicate flower of womanhood like Bee, whose first
-love he had won, in order to fall back at once into the bonds of a
-common intrigue, and provide for the comfort of his paramour, who had
-been waiting for him on the journey, would not prove so great to most
-people as the impossibility that he, as a stranger, would step out of
-his way to succour a poor little mother and children whom he had never
-seen before, and risk thereby a compromising situation.</p>
-
-<p>The latter was the thing which would have seemed unutterably ridiculous
-and impossible to Colonel Kingsward. A first-class sleeping carriage
-secured for a mere waif upon his way, whom he had never seen before and
-never would see again! The fellow might be a fool, but he was not such a
-fool as that. Had the woman even been old and ugly the Colonel would
-have laughed and shrugged his shoulders at Aubrey’s bad taste; but the<a name="page_255" id="page_255"></a>
-woman was pretty and young. A long-standing affair, no doubt; and, of
-course, it was quite possible, nay likely, that she was being sent, poor
-creature, to some retreat or other, where she would be out of the way
-with her children.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Kingsward knew, as if she had heard him say these words, how her
-husband would speak. And who was she, with not half his experience of
-the world, to maintain a different opinion? Yet she did so. She thought
-it was like Aubrey to turn the poor woman’s lingering, melancholy
-journey into a quick and comfortable one, out of pure kindness, without
-thought of compromising himself any more than of having any recompense
-for what he did. But she did not know that Bee knew nothing of this
-explanation of the story. When she found that her child evidently
-thought nothing of that, but received at once the darker miserable tale
-into her mind, she was startled, but not perhaps astonished. Bee was
-young to think the worst of anybody, but at the same time it is by far
-the commonest way of thinking, and the offence was one against herself,
-which<a name="page_256" id="page_256"></a> gives a sharper edge to everything. And then she knew what was
-going on in Bee’s mind chiefly by guesswork, for the girl said little.
-The colour went out of her face, her eyes sometimes gave a gleam of
-their old fire, but mostly had a strange set look, as if they were fixed
-on something not visible to the ordinary spectator. She sat all the
-evening through and never spoke. This was not so noticeable while the
-children were still about with their perpetual flow of observations and
-flood of questions; but when they went off in detachments to bed, and
-the two elder girls were left alone with their mother, Bee’s silence
-fell upon the others like a cloud. Betty, who knew nothing, after a few
-minutes rushed away upstairs to find refuge in the nursery, and then
-Mrs. Kingsward was left alone, face to face with this silent figure, so
-unlike Bee, which neither moved nor spoke. She had scarcely the courage
-to break the dreadful silence, but yet it had to be broken. Poor Mrs.
-Kingsward’s heart began to beat violently against her breast as it had
-not done since her return home.</p>
-
-<p>“Bee!” she said. “Bee!”<a name="page_257" id="page_257"></a></p>
-
-<p>Already the pumping of her heart had taken away her breath.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, mamma.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh! Bee, what&mdash;what are you going to do?”</p>
-
-<p>“To do, mamma?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh! don’t repeat my words after me, but give me some sort of an answer.
-Betty may be back again in a moment. What are you going to do?”</p>
-
-<p>“What can I do?” the girl said, in a low voice.</p>
-
-<p>“I can’t suppose but that you have been thinking about it&mdash;what else
-could you be thinking of, poor child? For my part, I don’t believe it.
-Do you hear me, Bee?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes&mdash;I heard you say that before, mamma.”</p>
-
-<p>“And that is all you think of what I say! My darling, you can’t remain
-like this. The first thing your father will ask will be, ‘What has
-happened?’ I cannot bear that you should give up&mdash;without a word.”</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Kingsward had disapproved of the correspondence, had felt that it
-would be incumbent upon her to tell her husband of it,<a name="page_258" id="page_258"></a> but yet in this
-unforeseen emergency she forgot all that.</p>
-
-<p>“Without a word! What words could I say? You don’t suppose I could
-discuss it with him&mdash;ask if it was true? If it’s true, there isn’t a
-word to say, is there? And if it isn’t true it would be an insult to ask
-him. And so one way or another it is all just done with and over. And I
-wish you would leave me quiet, mamma.”</p>
-
-<p>“Done with and over! Without a word&mdash;on a mere story of something that
-took place on a journey!”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh! leave me quiet, mamma. Do you think I need to be reminded of that
-journey? As if I did not see it, and the lamps burning, and hear the
-very wheels!”</p>
-
-<p>“Bee, dear, how can I leave you quiet? Do you mean just to let it break
-off like that, without a word, without giving him the chance to
-explain?”</p>
-
-<p>“I thought,” said Bee, with a faint satirical smile, for, indeed, her
-heart was capable of all bitterness, “that it was broken off completely
-by papa, and all that remained was only&mdash;what you called clandestine,
-mamma.”<a name="page_259" id="page_259"></a></p>
-
-<p>“I did not call it clandestine. I knew you would do nothing that was
-dishonourable. And it is true that it was&mdash;broken off. But, Bee! Bee!
-you don’t seem to feel the dreadful thing this is. After all that has
-passed, to let it drop in a moment, without saying a word!”</p>
-
-<p>“I thought it was what I ought to have done, as soon as papa’s will was
-made known.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh! Bee, you will drive me mad. And I have got no breath to speak. So
-you ought, perhaps&mdash;but you have not, when perhaps there was a reason.
-And now, for a mere chance story, and without giving him&mdash;an
-opportunity&mdash;to speak for himself.”</p>
-
-<p>Bee raised her face, now crimson as it had before been pale.</p>
-
-<p>“How could I put any questions on such a thing? How could it be
-discussed between him and me? To think of it is bad enough, but to speak
-of it&mdash;mamma! How do I know, even, what words to say?”</p>
-
-<p>“In that case, every engagement would be at the mercy of any slanderer,
-if the girl never could bring herself to ask what it meant.”<a name="page_260" id="page_260"></a></p>
-
-<p>“I am not any girl,” cried poor Bee, with a quiver of her lip. “I am
-just myself. I don’t think very much of myself any more than you do, but
-I can’t change myself. Oh, let me alone, let me alone, mamma!”</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Kingsward was very much excited. Her nostrils grew pinched and
-dilated in the struggle for breath; her lips were open and panting from
-the same cause. She was caught in that dreadful contradiction of
-sentiment and feeling which is worse than any unmingled catastrophe. She
-had been rent asunder before this by her desire to shield her daughter,
-yet the sense of her duty to her husband remained, and now it was the
-correspondence which she seemed to be called upon to defend almost at
-peril of her life; that actually clandestine, at least secret
-correspondence, of which she could not approve, which she was bound to
-cut short. And yet to cut it short like this was something which she
-could not bear. She threw aside the work with which she had been
-struggling and fixed her eyes on Bee, who did not look at her nor see
-how agitated her expression was.</p>
-
-<p>“If you can do this, I can’t,” she said.<a name="page_261" id="page_261"></a> “I will write to him. The
-other dreadful story may be true, for anything I know. And that, of
-course, is enough. But this one I don’t believe, if an angel from Heaven
-told it me. He shall at least have the chance of clearing himself!”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t know,” said Bee, “what the other dreadful story was. I thought
-it was only pretending to love&mdash;some other woman; and then&mdash;pretending
-to love <i>me</i>”&mdash;she broke off into a little hoarse laugh. The offence of
-it was more than Bee could bear. The insult&mdash;to suffer (she said to
-herself) was one thing&mdash;but to be insulted! She laughed to think what a
-fool she had been; how she had been taken in; how she had said&mdash;oh, like
-the veriest credulous fool&mdash;“Till death.”</p>
-
-<p>“He was not pretending to love you. What went before I know not, but
-with you he was true.”</p>
-
-<p>“One before&mdash;and one after,” said Bee, rising in an irrepressible rage
-of indignation. “Oh, mamma, how can we sit quietly and discuss it, as
-if&mdash;as if it were a thing that could be talked about? Am I to come in
-<a name="page_262" id="page_262"></a>between&mdash;two others&mdash;two&mdash;&mdash; I think it will make me mad,” the girl
-cried, stamping her foot. How does a man dare to do that&mdash;to insult a
-girl&mdash;who never sought him nor heard of him, wanted nothing of him&mdash;till
-he came and forced himself into her life!”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh! Bee, my darling,” cried the mother, going up to her child with
-outstretched arms.</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t touch me, don’t touch me, don’t pet me; I cannot bear it. Let me
-stand by myself. I am not a little thing like Lucy to be caught up and
-kissed till I forget. I don’t want to forget. There is nothing that can
-ever be done to me, if I were to live to an hundred, to put this out of
-my head.”</p>
-
-<p>“Bee, be patient with me for a moment. I have lived longer than you
-have. What went before could be no offence to you, whatever it was. It
-might be bad, but it was no offence to you. And this&mdash;I don’t believe
-it&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bee was far too much self-absorbed to see the labouring breath, the pink
-spot on each cheek, the panting which made her mother’s fine nostrils
-quiver and kept her lips apart, or that she caught at the back of a
-chair to support herself as she stood.<a name="page_263" id="page_263"></a></p>
-
-<p>“I don’t know why&mdash;you shouldn’t believe it. I don’t believe it; I see
-it, I hear it,” cried Bee. “It’s like a story&mdash;and I thought these
-things were always stories, things made up to keep up the interest in a
-book&mdash;&mdash; I’m the&mdash;deceived heroine, the one that’s disappointed, don’t
-you know, mamma? We’ve read all about her dozens of times. But she
-generally makes a fuss over it,” the girl said, with her suffocating
-laugh. “I shall make&mdash;no fuss&mdash;&mdash; Mamma! What is the matter, mamma?”</p>
-
-<p>Nothing more was the matter than the doctor could have told Mrs.
-Kingsward’s family long ago&mdash;a spasm of the heart. She stumbled backward
-to the sofa, and flung herself down before consciousness forsook her.
-Did consciousness forsake her at all? Bee rushing to the bell, making
-its violent sound peal through the house, then flinging herself at her
-mother’s feet, and calling to her in the helplessness of utter
-ignorance, “Mamma, mamma!” did not think that she was unconscious.
-Broken words fell from her in the midst of her gasps for breath, then
-there was a moment of dread stillness. By this time<a name="page_264" id="page_264"></a> the room seemed to
-be full of people&mdash;Bee did not know who was there&mdash;and then there
-suddenly appeared out of the mist Moulsey with a glass and teaspoon in
-her hands.</p>
-
-<p>“Go away, all of you,” cried Moulsey, “she’ll be better directly&mdash;open
-all the windows and take a fan and fan her, Miss Bee.”</p>
-
-<p>The blast of the cold October night air came in like a flood, Bee seemed
-to come out of a horrible dream in the waft of air brought by the fan
-which she was herself waving to and fro&mdash;and in a little time, as
-Moulsey said, Mrs. Kingsward was better. The labouring breath which had
-come back after that awful moment of stillness gradually calmed down and
-became softer with an occasional long drawn sigh, and then she opened
-her eyes and said, with a faint smile, “What is it? What is it?” She
-looked round her for a moment puzzled&mdash;and then she said, “Ah! you are
-fanning me,” with a smile to Bee, but presently, “How cold it is! I
-don’t think I want to be fanned, Moulsey.”</p>
-
-<p>“No, ma’am, not now. And White is just a-going to shut all the windows.
-The fire<a name="page_265" id="page_265"></a> was a bit too hot, and you know you never can bear it when the
-room gets too hot.”</p>
-
-<p>“No, I never can bear it,” Mrs. Kingsward said, in a docile tone. She
-followed the lead of any suggestion given to her. “I must have got
-faint&mdash;with the heat.”</p>
-
-<p>“That was just it,” said Moulsey. “When you have a fire in the
-drawing-room so early it looks so cheerful you’re apt to pile it too
-high without thinking&mdash;for it ain’t really cold in October, not cold
-enough to have a fire like that. You want it for cheerfulness, ma’am,
-more than for heat. A big bit of wood that will make a nice blaze, and
-very little coal, as is too much for the season, is what your
-drawing-room fire should be.”</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Kingsward gradually came to herself during this long speech, which
-no doubt was what Moulsey intended. But she said she felt a little weak,
-and that she would keep on the sofa until it was time to go to bed. The
-agitation she had gone through seemed to have passed from her mind.
-“Read me a little of that story,” she said, pointing to a book on the
-table. “We left off last night at a most interesting part. Read me the
-next chapter, Bee.”<a name="page_266" id="page_266"></a></p>
-
-<p>Bee sat down beside her mother’s sofa and opened the book. It was not a
-book of a very exciting kind it may be supposed, when it was thus read a
-chapter at a time, without any one of the party opening it from evening
-to evening to see how things went on. But as it happened at this point
-of the story, the heroine had found out that her lover was not so
-blameless as she thought, and was making up her mind to have nothing to
-do with him. Bee began to read with an indignation beyond words for both
-hero and heroine, who were so pale, so colourless, beside her own story.
-To waste one’s time reading stuff like this, while the tide of one’s own
-passion was ten times stronger! She did not think very much of her
-mother’s faint. It was, no doubt, the too large fire, as Moulsey said.</p>
-
-<p class="c">&nbsp;<br />
-END OF FIRST VOLUME.<br />
-</p>
-
-<p><a name="page_267" id="page_267"></a>&nbsp; </p>
-
-<p><a name="page_268" id="page_268"></a>&nbsp; </p>
-
-<p class="c"><small>
-TILLOTSON AND SON, PRINTERS, BOLTON.</small>
-</p>
-
-<p><a name="transcrib" id="transcrib"></a></p>
-
-<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""
-style="padding:2%;border:3px dotted gray;">
-<tr><th class="c">Typographical errors corrected by the etext transcriber:</th></tr>
-<tr><td class="c">ali the <i>wohlgeborne</i>=> all the <i>wohlgeborne</i> {pg 13}</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="c">goose’ to me,” said Bettty=> goose’ to me,” said Betty {pg 26}</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="c">Will gou go=> Will you go {pg 90}</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="c">consent had been been given=> consent had been given {pg 197}</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="c">down ths shovel hastily=> down the shovel hastily {pg 217}</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="c">her husband aud break up=> her husband and break up {pg 235}</td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<hr class="full" />
-
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-
-<pre>
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