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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/5222-h.zip b/5222-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2ac3737 --- /dev/null +++ b/5222-h.zip diff --git a/5222-h/5222-h.htm b/5222-h/5222-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fb0732c --- /dev/null +++ b/5222-h/5222-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1687 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<html> +<head> +<title>THE SATYRICON, Volume 5</title> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"> + +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + body {background:#faebd7; margin:10%; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; + margin-top: .75em; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; text-align: center; } + blockquote { margin-left: 25%; margin-right: 25%; } + .toc { margin-left: 15%; margin-bottom: 0em;} + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + // --> +</style> + +</head> +<body> + +<h2>THE SATYRICON of Petronius, Vol. 5</h2> +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Satyricon, Volume 5 (Crotona Affairs) +by Petronius Arbiter + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Satyricon, Volume 5 (Crotona Affairs) + +Author: Petronius Arbiter + +Release Date: May 28, 2004 [EBook #5222] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SATYRICON, VOLUME 5 *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + + + + +<br><hr> +<br><br><br><br><br><br> + +<center> +<h1> + <a name="PREFACE">THE SATYRICON OF</a> +<br> PETRONIUS ARBITER +</h1> +</center> + +<br> +<br> + <center><h3>Volume 5.</h3></center> + +<br> +<br> +<center> +<a name="bookspine"></a><img alt="bookspine.jpg (92K)" src="images/bookspine.jpg" height="1182" width="650"> +</center> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> + + +<blockquote> +<i>Complete and unexpurgated translation by W. C. Firebaugh, +in which are incorporated the forgeries of Nodot and Marchena, +and the readings introduced into the text by De Salas.</i> +</blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<center> +<a name="pfront"></a><img alt="pfront.jpg (108K)" src="images/pfront.jpg" height="829" width="599"> +</center> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> + +<br> +<br> +<h2>ILLUSTRATIONS</h2> + +<blockquote> + +<p><a href="#p306">Chrysis</a> +<p><a href="#p310">Circe</a> +<p><a href="#p314">Circe and Encolpius</a> +<p><a href="#p322">Circe Enraged</a> +<p><a href="#p330">The Priestess' Revenge</a> +<p><a href="#p334">Proselenos</a> +<p><a href="#p342">Encolpius Beaten</a> +<p><a href="#p350">Encolpius and Chrysis</a> +<p><a href="#p360">On the Road</a> + +</blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center> + <h1><a name="THE SATYRICON"></a>THE SATYRICON OF</h1> + <h1>PETRONIUS ARBITER</h1> +</center> + +<br> +<br> + <center><h3>Volume 5.</h3></center> +<br> +<br> +<br> + +<blockquote> + + +<p><i><b>BRACKET CODE:</b></i></p> +<p><i>(Forgeries of Nodot)</i></p> +<p><i>[Forgeries of Marchena]</i></p> +<p><i>{Additions of De Salas}</i></p> +<p><i> DW</i></p> + + +</blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<br> + + + + + + +<center> +<a name="VOLUME V."></a><h1>VOLUME V.</h1> +<h1>AFFAIRS AT CROTONA</h1> +</center> + +<br><br> +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIFTH. +</h2><br> +<p>For a long time affairs at Crotona ran along in this manner and Eumolpus, +flushed with success so far forgot the former state of his fortunes that +he even bragged to his followers that no one could hold out against any +wish of his, and that any member of his suite who committed a crime +in that city would, through the influence of his friends, get off +unpunished. But, although I daily crammed my bloated carcass to +overflowing with good things, and began more and more to believe that +Fortune had turned away her face from keeping watch upon me, I frequently +meditated, nevertheless, upon my present state and upon its cause. +"Suppose," thought I, "some wily legacy hunter should dispatch an agent +to Africa and catch us in our lie? Or even suppose the hireling servant, +glutted with prosperity, should tip off his cronies or give the whole +scheme away out of spite? There would be nothing for it but flight and, +in a fresh state of destitution, a recalling of poverty which had been +driven off. Gods and goddesses, how ill it fares with those living +outside the law; they are always on the lookout for what is coming to +them!" (Turning these possibilities over in my mind I left the house, in +a state of black melancholy, hoping to revive my spirits in the fresh +air, but scarcely had I set foot upon the public promenade when a girl, +by no means homely, met me, and, calling me Polyaenos, the name I had +assumed since my metamorphosis, informed me that her mistress desired +leave to speak with me. "You must be mistaken," I answered, in +confusion, "I am only a servant and a stranger, and am by no means worthy +of such an honor.") + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p306"></a><img alt="p306.jpg (69K)" src="images/p306.jpg" height="941" width="541"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SIXTH. +</h2><br> +<p>("You yourself," she replied, "are the one to whom I was sent but,) +because you are well aware of your good looks, you are proud and sell +your favors instead of giving them. What else can those wavy well-combed +locks mean or that face, rouged and covered with cosmetics, or that +languishing, wanton expression in your eyes? Why that gait, so precise +that not a footstep deviates from its place, unless you wish to show off +your figure in order to sell your favors? Look at me, I know nothing +about omens and I don't study the heavens like the astrologers, but I can +read men's intentions in their faces and I know what a flirt is after +when I see him out for a stroll; so if you'll sell us what I want there's +a buyer ready, but if you will do the graceful thing and lend, let us be +under obligations to you for the favor. And as for your confession that +you are only a common servant, by that you only fan the passion of the +lady who burns for you, for some women will only kindle for canaille and +cannot work up an appetite unless they see some slave or runner with his +clothing girded up: a gladiator arouses one, or a mule-driver all covered +with dust, or some actor posturing in some exhibition on the stage. My +mistress belongs to this class, she jumps the fourteen rows from the +stage to the gallery and looks for a lover among the gallery gods at the +back." Puffed up with this delightful chatter. "Come now, confess, won't +you," I queried, "is this lady who loves me yourself?" The waiting maid +smiled broadly at this blunt speech. "Don't have such a high opinion of +yourself," said she, "I've never given in to any servant yet; the gods +forbid that I should ever throw my arms around a gallows-bird. Let the +married women see to that and kiss the marks of the scourge if they like: +I'll sit upon nothing below a knight, even if I am only a servant." I +could not help marveling, for my part, at such discordant passions, and I +thought it nothing short of a miracle that this servant should possess +the hauteur of the mistress and the mistress the low tastes of the wench! + +<blockquote> + + +<br> Each one will find what suits his taste, one thing is not for all, +<br> One gathers roses as his share, another thorns enthrall. +</blockquote> + +<p>After a little more teasing, I requested the maid to conduct her mistress +to a clump of plane trees. Pleased with this plan, the girl picked up +the skirt of her garment and turned into a laurel grove that bordered the +path. After a short delay she brought her mistress from her hiding-place +and conducted her to my side; a woman more perfect than any statue. +There are no words with which to describe her form and anything I could +say would fall far short. Her hair, naturally wavy, flowed completely +over her shoulders; her forehead was low and the roots of her hair were +brushed back from it; her eyebrows, running from the very springs of her +cheeks, almost met at the boundary line between a pair of eyes brighter +than stars shining in a moonless night; her nose was slightly aquiline +and her mouth was such an one as Praxiteles dreamed Diana had. Her chin, +her neck, her hands, the gleaming whiteness of her feet under a slender +band of gold; she turned Parian marble dull! Then, for the first time, +Doris' tried lover thought lightly of Doris! + +<blockquote> + +<br> Oh Jove, what's come to pass that thou, thine armor cast away +<br> Art mute in heaven; and but an idle tale? +<br> At such a time the horns should sprout, the raging bull hold sway, +<br> Or they white hair beneath swan's down conceal +<br> Here's Dana's self! But touch that lovely form +<br> Thy limbs will melt beneath thy passions' storm! + +</blockquote> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p310"></a><img alt="p310.jpg (79K)" src="images/p310.jpg" height="955" width="541"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SEVENTH. +</h2><br><br><br><br> +<p>She was delighted and so be witchingly did she smile that I seemed to see +the full moon showing her face from behind a cloud. Then, punctuating +her words with her fingers, "Dear boy, if you are not too critical to +enjoy a woman of wealth who has but this year known her first man, I +offer you a sister," said she. "You have a brother already, I know, for +I didn't disdain to ask, but what is to prevent your adopting a sister, +too? I will come in on the same footing only deem my kisses worthy of +recognition and caress me at your own pleasure!" "Rather let me implore +you by your beauty," I replied. "Do not scorn to admit an alien among +your worshipers: If you permit me to kneel before your shrine you will +find me a true votary and, that you may not think I approach this temple +of love without a gift, I make you a present of my brother!" "What," she +exclaimed, "would you really sacrifice the only one without whom you. +could not live'? The one upon whose kisses your happiness depends. Him +whom you love as I would have you love me?" Such sweetness permeated her +voice as she said this, so entrancing was the sound upon the listening +air that you would have believed the Sirens' harmonies were floating in +the breeze. I was struck with wonder and dazzled by I know not what +light that shone upon me, brighter than, the whole heaven, but I made +bold to inquire the name of my divinity. "Why, didn't my maid tell you +that I am called Circe?" she replied. "But I am not the sun-child nor +has my mother ever stayed the revolving world in its course at her +pleasure; but if the Fates bring us two together I will owe heaven a +favor. I don't know what it is, but some god's silent purpose is beneath +this. Circe loves not Polyaenos without some reason; a great torch is +always flaming when these names meet! Take me in your arms then, if you +will; there's no prying stranger to fear, and your 'brother' is far away +from this spot!" So saying, Circe clasped me in arms that were softer +than down and drew me to the ground which was covered with colored +flowers. + +<blockquote> + + +<br> With flowers like these did Mother Earth great Ida's summit strew +<br> When Jupiter, his heart aflame, enjoyed his lawful love; +<br> There glowed the rose, the flowering rush, the violet's deep blue, +<br> From out green meadows snow-white lilies laughed. Then from above, +<br> This setting summoned Venus to the green and tender sod, +<br> Bright day smiled kindly on the secret amour of the God. +</blockquote> + +<p>Side by side upon the grassy plot we lay, exchanging a thousand kisses, +the prelude to more poignant pleasure, (but alas! My sudden loss of +vigor disappointed Circe!) + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p314"></a><img alt="p314.jpg (116K)" src="images/p314.jpg" height="817" width="575"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT. +</h2><br> +<p>(Infuriated at this affront,) "What's the matter," demanded she; "do my +kisses offend you? Is my breath fetid from fasting? Is there any evil +smelling perspiration in my armpits? Or, if it's nothing of this kind, +are you afraid of Giton?" Under her eyes, I flushed hotly and, if I had +any virility left, I lost it then; my whole body seemed to be inert. "My +queen," I cried, "do not mock me in my humiliation. I am bewitched!" +(Circe's anger was far from being appeased by such a trivial excuse; +turning her eyes contemptuously away from me, she looked at her maid,) +"Tell me, Chrysis, and tell me truly, is there anything repulsive about +me? Anything sluttish? Have I some natural blemish that disfigures my +beauty? Don't deceive your mistress! I don't know what's the matter +with us, but there must be something!" Then she snatched a mirror from +the silent maid and after scrutinizing all the looks and smiles which +pass between lovers, she shook out her wrinkled earth-stained robe and +flounced off into the temple of Venus (nearby.) And here was I, like a +convicted criminal who had seen some horrible nightmare, asking myself +whether the pleasure out of which I had been cheated was a reality or +only a dream. + +<blockquote> + + +<br> As when, in the sleep-bringing night +<br> Dreams sport with the wandering eyes, +<br> And earth, spaded up, yields to light +<br> Her gold that by day she denies, +<br> The stealthy hand snatches the spoils; +<br> The face with cold sweat is suffused +<br> And Fear grips him tight in her toils +<br> Lest robbers the secret have used +<br> And shake out the gold from his breast. +<br> But, when they depart from his brain, +<br> These enchantments by which he's obsessed, +<br> And Truth comes again with her train +<br> Restoring perspective and pain, +<br> The phantasm lives to the last, +<br> The mind dwells with shades of the past. + +</blockquote> +<p>(The misfortune seemed to me a dream, but I imagined that I must surely +be under a spell of enchantment and, for a long time, I was so devoid of +strength that I could not get to my feet. But finally my mental +depression began to abate, little by little my strength came back to me, +and I returned home: arrived there, I feigned illness and threw myself +upon my couch. A little late: Giton, who had heard of my indisposition, +entered the room in some concern. As I wished to relieve his mind I +informed him that I had merely sought my pallet to take a rest, telling +him much other gossip but not a word about my mishap as I stood in great +fear of his jealousy and, to lull any suspicion which he might entertain, +I drew him to my side and endeavoured to give him some proofs of my love +but all my panting and sweating were in vain. He jumped up in a rage and +accused my lack of virility and change of heart, declaring that he had +for a long time suspected that I had been expending my vigor and breath +elsewhere. "No! No! Darling," I replied, "my love for you has always +been the same, but reason prevails now over love and wantonness.") "And +for the Socratic continence of your love, I thank you in his name," (he +replied sarcastically,) "Alcibiades was never more spotless when he left +his master's bed!" + +<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-NINTH. +</h2><br> +<p>"Believe me, 'brother,' when I tell you that I do not know whether I am a +man or not," (I vainly protested;) "I do not feel like one, if I am! +Dead and buried lies that part in which I was once an Achilles!" (Giton, +seeing that I was completely enervated, and) fearing that it might give +cause for scandal if he were caught in this quiet place with me, tore +himself away and fled into an inner part of the house. (He had just gone +when) Chrysis entered the room and handed me her mistress's tablets, in +which were written the following words: + +<blockquote> +<p> CIRCE TO POLYAENOS--GREETING. + +<p> Were I a wanton, I should complain of my disappointment, but as it + is I am beholden to your impotence, for by it I dallied the longer + in the shadow of pleasure. Still, I would like to know how you are + and whether you got home upon your own legs, for the doctors say + that one cannot walk without nerves! Young man, I advise you to + beware of paralysis for I never in my life saw a patient in such + great danger; you're as good as dead, I'm sure! What if the same + numbness should attack your hands and knees? You would have to send + for the funeral trumpeters! Still, even if I have been affronted, + I will not begrudge a prescription to one as sick as you! Ask Giton + if you would like to recover. I am sure you will get back your + strength if you will sleep without your "brother" for three nights. + So far as I am concerned, I am not in the least alarmed about. + finding someone to whom I shall be as pleasing as I was to you; my + mirror and my reputation do not lie. + +<p> Farewell (if you can). +</blockquote> + +<p>"Such things will happen," said Chrysis, when she saw that I had read +through the entire inditement, "and especially in this city, where the +women can lure the moon from the sky! But we'll find a cure for your +trouble. Just return a diplomatic answer to my mistress and restore her +self-esteem by frank courtesy for, truth to tell, she has never been +herself from the minute she received that affront." I gladly followed +the maid's advice and wrote upon the tablets as follows: + +<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTIETH. +</h2><br> + +<blockquote> +<p> POLYAENOS TO CIRCE--GREETING. + +<p> Dear lady, I confess that I have often given cause for offense, for + I am only a man, and a young one, too, but I never committed a + deadly crime until today! You have my confession of guilt, I + deserve any punishment you may see fit to prescribe. I betrayed a + trust, I murdered a man, I violated a temple: demand my punishment + for these crimes. Should it be your pleasure to slay me I will come + to you with my sword; if you are content with a flogging I will run + naked to my mistress; only bear in mind that it was not myself but + my tools that failed me. I was a soldier, and ready, but I had no + arms. What threw me into such disorder I do not know, perhaps my + imagination outran my lagging body, by aspiring to too much it is + likely that I spent my pleasure in delay; I cannot imagine what the + trouble was. You bid me beware of paralysis; as if a disease which + prevented my enjoying you could grow worse! But my apology amounts + briefly to this; if you will grant me an opportunity of repairing my + fault, I will give you satisfaction. +<p> Farewell +</blockquote> + +<p>After dismissing Chrysis with these fair promises, I paid careful +attention to my body which had so evilly served me and, omitting the +bath, I annointed myself, in moderation, with unguents and placed myself +upon a more strengthening diet such as onions and snail's heads without +condiments, and I also drank more sparingly of wine; then, taking a short +walk before settling down to sleep, I went to bed without Giton. So +anxious was I to please her that I feared the outcome if my "brother" lay +tickling my side. + +<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FIRST. +</h2><br> +<p>Finding myself vigorous in mind and body when I arose next morning, I +went down to the same clump of plane trees, though I dreaded the spot as +one of evil omen, and commenced to wait for Chrysis to lead me on my way. +I took a short stroll and had just seated myself where I had sat the day +before, when she came under the trees, leading a little old woman by the +hand. "Well, Mr. Squeamish," she chirped, when she had greeted me, "have +you recovered your appetite?" In the meantime, the old hag: + +<br> + <center>A wine-soaked crone with twitching lips</center> + +<br> +<p>brought out a twisted hank of different colored yarns and put it about my +neck; she then kneaded dust and spittle and, dipping her middle finger +into the mixture, she crossed my forehead with it, in spite of my +protests. + +<blockquote> + +<br> As long as life remains, there's hope; +<br> Thou rustic God, oh hear our prayer, +<br> Great Priapus, I thee invoke, +<br> Temper our arms to dare! +</blockquote> + + +<p>When she had made an end of this incantation she ordered me to spit three +times, and three times to drop stones into my bosom, each stone she +wrapped up in purple after she had muttered charms over it; then, +directing her hands to my privates, she commenced to try out my virility. +Quicker than thought the nerves responded to the summons, filling the +crone's hand with an enormous erection! Skipping for joy, "Look, +Chrysis, look," she cried out, "see what a hare I've started, for someone +else to course!" (This done, the old lady handed me over to Chrysis, who +was greatly delighted at the recovery of her mistress's treasure; she +hastily conducted me straight to the latter, introducing me into a lovely +nook that nature had furnished with everything which could delight the +eye.) + +<blockquote> + +<br> Shorn of its top, the swaying pine here casts a +<br> summer shade +<br> And quivering cypress, and the stately plane +<br> And berry-laden laurel. A brook's wimpling waters strayed +<br> Lashed into foam, but dancing on again +<br> And rolling pebbles in their chattering flow. +<br> 'Twas Love's own nook, +<br> As forest nightingale and urban Procne undertook +<br> To bear true witness; hovering, the gleaming grass above +<br> And tender violets; wooing with song, their stolen love. + +</blockquote> + +<p>Fanning herself with a branch of flowering myrtle, she lay, stretched out +with her marble neck resting upon a golden cushion. When she caught +sight of me she blushed faintly; she recalled yesterday's affront, I +suppose. At her invitation, I sat down by her side, as soon as the +others had gone; whereupon she put the branch of myrtle over my face and +emboldened, as if a wall had been raised between us, "Well, Mr. +Paralytic," she teased, "have you brought all of yourself along today?" +"Why ask me," I replied, "why not try me instead?" and throwing myself +bodily into her arms, I revelled in her kisses with no witchcraft to stop +me. + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p322"></a><img alt="p322.jpg (97K)" src="images/p322.jpg" height="851" width="569"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-SECOND. +</h2><br> +<p>The loveliness of her form drew, me to her and summoned me to love. Our +lips were pressed together in a torrent of smacking kisses, our groping +hands had discovered every trick of excitation, and our bodies, clasped +in a mutual embrace, had fused our souls into one, (and then, in the very +midst of these ravishing preliminaries my nerves again played me false +and I was unable to last until the instant of supreme bliss.) Lashed to +fury by these inexcusable affronts, the lady at last ran to avenge +herself and, calling her house servants, she gave orders for me to be +hoisted upon their shoulders and flogged; then, still unsatisfied with +the drastic punishment she had inflicted upon me, she called all the +spinning women and scrubbing wenches in the house and ordered them to +spit upon me. I covered my face with my hands but I uttered no complaint +as I well knew what I deserved and, overwhelmed with blows and spittle, I +was driven from the house. Proselenos was kicked out too, Chrysis was +beaten, and all the slaves grumbled among themselves and wondered what +had upset their mistress's good humor. I took heart after having given +some thought to my misfortunes and, artfully concealing the marks of the +blows for fear that Eumolpus would make merry over my mishaps or, worse +yet, that Giton might be saddened by my disgrace, I did the only thing I +could do to save my self-respect, I pretended that I was sick and went to +bed. There, I turned the full fury of my resentment against that +recreant which had been the sole cause of all the evil accidents which +had befallen me. + +<blockquote> + +<br> Three times I grasped the two-edged blade +<br> The recreant to cut away; +<br> Three times by Fear my hand was stayed +<br> And palsied Terror said me nay +<br> That which I might have done before +<br> 'Twas now impossible to do; +<br> For, cold with Fear, the wretch withdrew +<br> Into a thousand-wrinkled mare, +<br> And shrank in shame before my gaze +<br> Nor would his head uncover more. +<br> But though the scamp in terror skulked, +<br> With words I flayed him as he sulked. +</blockquote> + +<p>Raising myself upon my elbow I rebuked the shirker in some such terms as +these: "What have you to say for yourself, you disgrace to gods and men," +I demanded, "for your name must never be mentioned among refined people. +Did I deserve to be lifted up to heaven and then dragged down to hell by +you? Was it right for you to slander my flourishing and vigorous years +and land me in the shadows and lassitude of decrepit old age? Give me +some sign, however faint, I beg of you, that you have returned to life!" +I vented my anger in words such as these. + +<blockquote> + +<br> His eyes were fixed, and with averted look +<br> He stood, less moved by any word of mine +<br> Than weeping willows bending o'er a brook +<br> Or drooping poppies as at noon they pine. +</blockquote> + +<p>When I had made an end of this invective, so out of keeping with good +taste, I began to do penance for my soliloquy and blushed furtively +because I had so far forgotten my modesty as to invoke in words that part +of my body which men of dignity do not even recognize. Then, rubbing my +forehead for a long time, "Why have I committed an indiscretion in +relieving my resentment by natural abuse," I mused, "what does it amount +to? Are we not accustomed to swear at every member of the human body, +the belly, throat, or even the head when it aches, as it often does? Did +not Ulysses wrangle with his own heart? Do not the tragedians 'Damn +their eyes' just as if they could hear? + +<p>"Gouty patients swear at their feet, rheumatics at their hands, +blear-eyed people at their eyes, and do not those who often stub their toes blame +their feet for all their pain? + +<blockquote> + +<br> "Why will our Catos with their frowning brows +<br> Condemn a work of fresh simplicity'? +<br> A cheerful kindness my pure speech endows; +<br> What people do, I write, to my capacity. +<br> For who knows not the pleasures Venus gives? +<br> Who will not in a warm bed tease his members? +<br> Great Epicurus taught a truth that lives; +<br> Love and enjoy life! All the rest is embers. +</blockquote> + + +<p>"Nothing can be more insincere than the silly prejudices of mankind, and +nothing sillier than the morality of bigotry," + +<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-THIRD. +</h2><br> +<p>I called Giton when I had finished my meditation: "Tell me, little +brother," I demanded, "tell me, on your honor: Did Ascyltos stay awake +until he had exacted his will of you, the night he stole you away from +me? Or was he content to spend the night like a chaste widow?" Wiping +his eyes the lad, in carefully chosen words took oath that Ascyltos had +used no force against him. (The truth of the matter is, that I was so +distraught with my own misfortunes that I knew not what I was saying. +"Why recall past memories which can only cause pain," said I to myself. +I then directed all my energies towards the recovery of my lost manhood. +To achieve this I was ready even to devote myself to the gods; +accordingly, I went out to invoke the aid of Priapus.) {Putting as good a +face upon the matter as I could} I knelt upon the threshold of his shrine +and invoked the God in the following verses: + +<blockquote> + +<br> "Of Bacchus and the nymphs, companion boon, +<br> Whom fair Dione set o'er forests wide +<br> As God: whom Lesbos and green Thasos own +<br> For deity, whom Lydians, far and wide +<br> Adore through all the seasons of the year; +<br> Whose temple in his own Hypaepa placed, +<br> Thou Dryad's joy and Bacchus', hear my prayer! +<br> To thee I come, by no dark blood disgraced, +<br> No shrine, in wicked lust have I profaned; +<br> When I was poor and worn with want, I sinned +<br> Not by intent, a pauper's sin's not banned +<br> As of another! Unto thee I pray +<br> Lift thou the load from off my tortured mind, +<br> Forgive a light offense! When fortune smiles +<br> I'll not thy glory shun and leave behind +<br> Thy worship! Unto thee, a goat that feels +<br> His primest vigor, father of the flocks +<br> Shall come! And suckling pigs, the tender young +<br> Of some fine grunting sow! New wine, in crocks +<br> Shall foam! Thy grateful praises shall be sung +<br> By youths who thrice shall dance around thy shrine +<br> Happy, in youth and full of this year's wine!" +</blockquote> + + +<p>While I was engaged in this diplomatic effort in behalf of the affected +member, a hideous crone with disheveled hair, and clad in black garments +which were in great: disorder, entered the shrine and, laying hands upon +me, led me {thoroughly frightened,} out into the portico. + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p330"></a><img alt="p330.jpg (107K)" src="images/p330.jpg" height="937" width="535"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FOURTH. +</h2><br> +<p>"What witches" (she cried,) "have devoured your manhood? What filth did +you tread upon at some crossroads, in the dark? Not even by the boy +could you do your duty but, weak and effeminate, you are worn out like a +cart-horse at a hill, you have lost both labor and sweat! Not content +with getting yourself into trouble, you have stirred up the wrath of the +gods against me {and I will make you smart for it."} She then led me, +unresisting, back into the priestess's room, pushed me down upon the bed, +snatched a cane that hung upon the door, and gave me another thrashing: +I remained silent and, had the cane not splintered at the first stroke, +thereby diminishing the force of the blow, she might easily have broken +my arms or my head. I groaned dismally, and especially when she +manipulated my member and, shedding a flood of tears, I covered my head +with my right arm and huddled down upon the pillow. Nor did she weep +less bitterly: + +<blockquote> + +<br>The sailor, naked from his foundered barque, +<br>Some shipwrecked mariner seeks out to hear his woe; +<br>When hail beats down a farmer's crop, his cark +<br>Seeks consolation from another, too. +<br>Death levels caste and sufferers unites, +<br>And weeping parents are as one in grief; +<br>We also will beseech the starry heights, +<br>United prayers climb best, is the belief. +</blockquote> + + +<p>She seated herself upon the other side of the bed and in quavering tones +commenced to accuse the delays of old age. At last the priestess came +in. "Why," she cried, "what has brought you into my cell as if you were +visiting a newly made grave? And on a feast-day, too, when even mourners +ought to smile!" "OEnothea," the old hag replied, "this young man here +was born under an unlucky star: he can't dispose of his goods to either +boy or girl. Such an unfortunate fellow you never saw. He has no tool +at all, only a piece of leather soaked in water! I wish you would tell +me what you think of a man who could get up from Circe's bed without +having tasted pleasure!" On hearing these words, OEnothea sat down +between us and, after shaking her head for a while, "I'm the only one +that knows how to cure that disease," said she, "and for fear you think +I'm talking to hear myself talk, I'll just have the young fellow sleep +with me for a night, and if I don't make it as hard as horn! + +<blockquote> + +<br> All that you see in the world must give heed to my mandates; + +<br> Blossoming earth, when I will it, must languish, a desert.' + +<br> Riches pour forth, when I will it, from crags and grim boulders + +<br> Waters will spurt that will rival the Nile at its flooding + +<br> Seas calm their billows before me, gales silence their howlings, + +<br> Hearing my step! And the rivers sink into their channels; + +<br> Dragons, Hyrcanian tigers stand fast at my bidding! + +<br> Why should I tell you of small things? The image of Luna + +<br> Drawn by my spells must descend, and Apollo, atremble + +<br> Backs up his horses and turns from his course at my order! + +<br> Such is the power of my word! By the rites of a virgin + +<br> Quenched is the raging of bulls; and the sun's daughter Circe + +<br> Changed and transfigured the crew of the wily Ulysses. + +<br> Proteus changes his form when his good pleasure dictates, + +<br> I, who am skilled in these arts, can the shrubs of Mount Ida + +<br> Plant in the ocean; turn rivers to flow up the mountains!" +</blockquote> +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p334"></a><img alt="p334.jpg (33K)" src="images/p334.jpg" height="993" width="389"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FIFTH. +</h2><br> +<p>At this declaration, which was so awe-inspiring, I shuddered in terror, +and commenced to scrutinize the crone more narrowly. "Come now," said +OEnothea, "obey my orders," and, carefully wiping her hands, she bent +over the cot and kissed me, once, twice! On the middle of the altar +OEnothea placed an old table, upon which she heaped live coals, then with +melted pitch she repaired a goblet which had become cracked through age. +Next she replaced, in the smoke-stained wall, a peg which had come out +when she took down the wooden goblet. Then, having donned a mantle, in +the shape of a piece of square-cut cloth, she set a huge kettle upon the +hearth and at the same time speared with a fork a cloth hanging upon the +meathooks, and lifted it down. It contained some beans which had been +laid away for future use, and a very small and stale piece of pig's +cheek, scored with a thousand slashes. When she had untied the string +which fastened the cloth, she poured some of the beans upon the table and +ordered me to shell them quickly and carefully. I obey her mandate and +with careful fingers separate the beans from the filthy pods which +contain them; but she, accusing my clumsiness, hastily snatched them and, +skillfully tearing off the pods with her teeth, spat them upon the +ground, where they looked like dead flies. I wondered, then, at the +ingenuity of poverty and its expedients for emergency. (So ardent a +follower of this virtue did the priestess seem that it was reflected in +everything around her. Her dwelling, in particular, was a very shrine of +poverty.) + +<blockquote> + +<br> No Indian ivory set in gold gleamed here, +<br> No trodden marble glistened here; no earth +<br> Mocked for its gifts; but Ceres' festive grove: +<br> With willow wickerwork 'twas set around, +<br> New cups of clay by revolutions shaped +<br> Of lowly wheel. For honey soft, a bowl; +<br> Platters of green bark wickerwork, a jar +<br> Stained by the lifeblood of the God of Wine; +<br> The walls around with chaff and spattered clay +<br> Were covered. Flanging from protruding nails +<br> Were slender stalks of the green rush; and then +<br> Suspended from the smoky beam, the stores +<br> Of this poor cottage. Service berries soft, +<br> Entwined in fragrant wreaths hung down, +<br> Dried savory and raisins by the bunch. +<br> An hostess here like she on Attic soil, +<br> Of Hecate's pure worship worthy she! +<br> Whose fame Kallimachos so grandly sang +<br> 'Twill live forever through the speaking years. +</blockquote> + + + +<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-SIXTH. +</h2><br> +<p>In the meantime, (having shelled the beans,) she took a mouthful of the +meat and with the fork was replacing the pig's cheek, which was coeval +with herself, upon the meat-hook, when the rotten stool, which she was +using to augment her height, broke down under the old lady's weight and +let her fall upon the hearth. The neck of the pot was broken, putting +out the fire, which was just getting a good start, her elbow was burned +by a flaming brand, and her whole face was covered by the ashes raised by +her fall. I jumped up in dismay and, not without laughing, helped the +old lady to her feet. She hastily scurried out into the neighborhood to +replenish the fire, for fear anything should delay the sacrifice. I was +on my way to the door of the cell when lo! and behold! three sacred geese +which were accustomed, I suppose, to demand their feed from the old woman +at midday, made a rush at me and, surrounding me, made me nervous with +their abominable rabid cackling. One tore at my tunic, another undid the +lacings of my sandals and tugged at them, but one in particular, the +ringleader and moving spirit of this savage attack, did not hesitate to +worry at my leg with his serrated bill. Unable to see the joke, I +twisted off one of the legs of the little table and, thus armed, began to +belabor the pugnacious brute. Nor did I rest content with a light blow, +I avenged myself by the death of the goose. + +<blockquote> + +<br> 'Twas thus, I ween, the birds of Stymphalus +<br> To heaven fled, by Herakles impelled; +<br> The Harpies, too, whose reeking pinions held +<br> That poison which the feast of Phineus +<br> Contaminated. All the air above +<br> With their unwonted lamentations shook, +<br> The heavens in uproar and confusion move +<br> {The Stars, in dread, their orbits then forsook!} +</blockquote> + + +<p>By this time the two remaining geese had picked up the beans which had +been scattered all over the floor and bereft, I suppose, of their leader, +had gone back into the temple; and I, well content with my revenge and my +booty, threw the dead goose behind the cot and bathed the trifling wound +in my leg with vinegar: then, fearing a scolding, I made up my mind to +run away and, collecting together all my belongings, started to leave the +house. I had not yet stepped over the threshold of the cell, however, +when I caught sight of OEnothea returning with an earthen vessel full of +live coals. Thereupon I retraced my steps and, throwing off my garments, +I took my stand just inside the door, as if I were awaiting her return. +She banked her fire with broken reeds, piled some pieces of wood on top, +and began to excuse her delay on the ground that her friend would not +permit her to leave until after the customary three drinks had been +taken. "But what were you up to in my absence?" she demanded. "Where +are the beans?" Thinking that I had done a thing worthy of all praise, I +informed her of the battle in all its details and, that she might not be +downcast any longer, I produced the dead goose in payment for her loss. +When the old lady laid eyes upon that, she raised such a clamor that you +would have thought that the geese had invaded the room again. Confounded +and thunderstruck at the novelty of my crime, I asked her why she was so +angry and why she pitied the goose rather than myself. + +<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVENTH. +</h2><br> +<p>But, beating her palms together, "You villain, are you so brazen that you +can speak?" she shrieked. "Don't you know what a serious crime you've +committed? You have slaughtered the delight of Priapus, a goose, the +very darling of married women! And for fear you think that nothing +serious has happened, if the magistrates find this out you'll go to the +cross! Until this day my dwelling has been inviolate and you have +polluted it with blood! You have conducted yourself in such a manner +that any enemy I have can turn me out of the priesthood!" + +<blockquote> + +<br> She spoke, and from her trembling head she tore the snow-white hair, +<br> And scratched her cheeks: her eyes shed floods of tears. +<br> As when a torrent headlong rushes down the valleys drear, +<br> Its icy fetters gone when Sprint appears, +<br> And strikes the frozen shackles from rejuvenated earth +<br> So down her face the tears in torrents swept +<br> And wracking sobs convulsed her as she wept. +</blockquote> + + +<p>"Please don't make such a fuss," I said, "I'll give you an ostrich in +place of your goose!" While she sat upon the cot and, to my +stupefaction, bewailed the death of the goose, Proselenos came in with +the materials for the sacrifice. Seeing the dead goose and inquiring the +cause of her grief, she herself commenced to weep more violently still +and to commiserate me, as if I had slain my own father, instead of a +public goose. Growing tired of this nonsense at last, "See here," +said I, "could I not purchase immunity for a price, even though I had +assaulted you'? Even though I had murdered a man? Look here! I'm +laying down two gold pieces, you can buy both gods and geese with them!" +"Forgive me, young man," said OEnothea, when she caught sight of the +gold, "I am anxious upon your account; that is a proof of love, not of +malignity. Let us take such precautions that not a soul will find this +out. As for you, pray to the gods to forgive your sacrilege!" + +<blockquote> + +<br> The rich man can sail in a favoring gale +<br> And snap out his course at his pleasure; +<br> A Dance espouse, no Acrisius will rail, +<br> His credence by hers he will measure; +<br> Write verse, or declaim; snap the finger of scorn +<br> At the world, yet still win all his cases, +<br> The rabble will drink in his words with concern +<br> When a Cato austere it displaces. +<br> At law, his "not proven," or "proved," he can have +<br> With Servius or Labeo vieing; +<br> With gold at command anything he may crave +<br> Is his without asking or sighing. +<br> The universe bows at his slightest behest, +<br> For Jove is a prisoner in his treasure chest. +</blockquote> + + +<p>In the meantime, she scurried around and put a jar of wine under my hands +and, when my fingers had all been spread out evenly, she purified them +with leeks and parsley. Then, muttering incantations, she threw +hazel-nuts into the wine and drew her conclusions as they sank or floated; but +she did not hoodwink me, for those with empty shells, no kernel and full +of air, would of course float, while those that were heavy and full of +sound kernel would sink to the bottom. {She then turned her attention to +the goose,} and, cutting open the breast, she drew out a very fat liver +from which she foretold my future. Then, for fear any trace of the crime +should remain, she cut the whole goose up, stuck the pieces upon spits, +and served up a very delectable dinner for me, whom, but a moment before, +she had herself condemned to death, in her own words! Meanwhile, cups of +unmixed wine went merrily around (and the crones greedily devoured the +goose which they had but so lately lamented. When the last morsel had +disappeared, OEnothea, half-drunk by this time, looked at me and said, +"We must now go through with the mysteries, so that you may get back your +virility.") + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p342"></a><img alt="p342.jpg (79K)" src="images/p342.jpg" height="845" width="549"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-EIGHTH.</h2> +<br> +<p>(As she said this OEnothea brought) out a leathern dildo which, when she +had smeared it with oil, ground pepper, and pounded nettle seed, she +commenced to force, little by little, up my anus. The merciless old +virago then anointed the insides of my thighs with the same decoction; +finally mixing nasturtium juice with elixir of southern wood, she gave my +genitals a bath and, picking up a bunch of green nettles, she commenced +to strike me gently all over my belly below the navel. {The nettles stung +me horribly and I suddenly took to my heels, with the old hags in full +pursuit.} Although they were befuddled with wine and lust they followed +the right road and chased me through several wards, screaming "Stop +thief." I made good my escape, however, although every toe was bleeding +as the result of my headlong flight. (I got home as quickly as I could +and, worn out with fatigue, I sought my couch, but I could not snatch a +wink of sleep for the evil adventures which had befallen me kept running +through my brain and, brooding upon them, I came to the conclusion that +no one could be so abjectly unfortunate. "Has Fortune, always inimical +to me, stood in need of the pangs of love, that she might torture me more +cruelly still," I cried out; "unhappy wretch that I am! Fortune and Love +have joined forces to bring about my ruin. Cruel Eros himself had never +dealt leniently with me, loved or lover I am put to the torture! Take +the case of Chrysis: she loves me desperately, never leaves off teasing +me, she who despised me as a servant, because, when she was acting as her +mistress's go-between, I was dressed in the garments of a slave: she, I +say) that same Chrysis, who looked with contempt upon your former lowly +lot, is now bent upon following it up even at the peril of her life; (she +swore that she would never leave my side on the day when she told me of +the violence of her passion: but Circe owns me, heart and soul, all +others I despise. Who could be lovelier than she?) What loveliness +had Ariadne or Leda to compare with hers? What had Helen to compare with +her, what has Venus? If Paris himself had seen her with her dancing +eyes, when he acted as umpire for the quarreling goddesses, he would have +given up Helen and the goddesses for her! If I could only steal a kiss, +if only I might put my arms around that divine, that heavenly bosom, +perhaps the virility would come back to this body and the parts, flaccid +from witchcraft would, I believe, come into their own. Contempt cannot +tire me out: what if I was flogged; I will forget it! What if I was +thrown out! I will treat it as a joke! Only let me be restored to her +good graces! + +<blockquote> + +<br> At rest on my pallet, night's silence had scarce settled down + +<br> To soothe me, and eyes heavy-laden with slumber to lull + +<br> When torturing Amor laid hold of me, seizing my hair + +<br> And dragging me, wounding me, ordered a vigil till dawn. + +<br> 'Oh heart of stone, how canst thou lie here alone?' said the God, + +<br> 'Thou joy of a thousand sweet mistresses, how, oh my slave?' + +<br> In disarrayed nightrobe I leap to bare feet and essay + +<br> To follow all paths; but a road can discover by none. + +<br> One moment I hasten; the next it is torture to move, + +<br> It irks me again to turn back, shame forbids me to halt + +<br> And stand in the midst of the road. Lo! the voices of men, + +<br> The roar of the streets, and the songs of the birds, and the bark + +<br> Of vigilant watch-dogs are hushed! Alone, I of all + +<br> Society dread both my slumber and couch, and obey + +<br> Great Lord of the Passions, thy mandate which on me was laid." +</blockquote> +<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-NINTH. +</h2><br> +<p>(Such thoughts as these, of lovely Circe's charms so wrought upon my mind +that) I disordered my bed by embracing the image, as it were, of my +mistress, (but my efforts were all wasted.) This obstinate (affliction +finally wore out my patience, and I cursed the hostile deity by whom I +was bewitched. I soon recovered my composure, however, and, deriving +some consolation from thinking of the heroes of old, who had been +persecuted by the anger of the gods, I broke out in these lines:) + +<blockquote> + +<br> Hostile gods and implacable rate not me alone pursue; + +<br> Herakles once suffered the weight of heaven's displeasure too + +<br> Driven from the Inachian coast: Laomedon of old + +<br> Sated two of the heavenly host: in Pelias, behold + +<br> Juno's power to avenge an affront; and Telephus took arms + +<br> Knowing not he must bear the brunt; Ulysses feared the storms + +<br> Angry Neptune decreed as his due. Now, me to overwhelm + +<br> Outraged Priapus ever pursues on land and Nereus' realm. +</blockquote> +<p>(Tortured by these cares I spent the whole night in anxiety, and at dawn, +Giton, who had found out that I had slept at home, entered the room and +bitterly accused me of leading a licentious life; he said that the whole +household was greatly concerned at what I had been doing, that I was so +rarely present to attend to my duties, and that the intrigue in which I +was engaged would very likely bring about my ruin. I gathered from this +that he had been well informed as to my affairs, and that someone had +been to the house inquiring for me. Thereupon,) I began to ply Giton +with questions as to whether anyone had made inquiry for me; "Not today," +he replied, "but yesterday a woman came in at the door, not bad looking, +either, and after talking to me for quite a while, and wearing me out +with her far-fetched conversation, finally ended by saying that you +deserved punishment, and that you would receive the scourging of a slave +if the injured party pressed his complaint." (This news afflicted me so +bitterly that I levelled fresh recriminations against Fortune, and) I had +not yet finished grumbling when Chrysis came in and, throwing herself +upon me, embraced me passionately. "I have you," she cried, "just as I +hoped I would; you are my heart's desire, my joy, you can never put out +this flame of mine unless you quench it in my blood!" (I was greatly +embarrassed by this wantonness of Chrysis and had recourse to flattery +in order that I might rid myself of her, as I feared that her passionate +outcries would reach the ears of Eumolpus who, in the arrogance of +success, had put on the manner of the master. So on this account, I did +everything I could think of to calm Chrysis. I feigned love, whispered +compliments, in short, so skillfully did I dissimulate that she believed +I was Love's own captive. I showed her what pressing peril overhung us +should she be caught in that room with me, as Eumolpus was only too ready +to punish the slightest offense. On hearing this, she left me hurriedly, +and all the more quickly, as she caught sight of Giton, who had only left +me a little before she had come in, on his way to my room. She was +scarcely gone when) one of the newly engaged servants rushed in and +informed me that the master was furiously angry with me because of my two +days' absence from duty; I would do well, therefore, to prepare some +plausible excuse, as it was not likely that his angry passion would be +placated until someone had been flogged. (Seeing that I was so vexed and +disheartened, Giton said not a word about the woman, contenting himself +with speaking of Eumolpus, and advising me that it would be better to +joke with him than to treat the matter seriously. I followed this lead +and appeared before the old fellow, with so merry a countenance that, +instead of showing severity, he received me with good humor and rallied +me upon the success of my love affairs, praising the elegance of my +figure which made me such a favorite with the ladies. "I know very +well," he went on, "that a lovely woman is dying for love of you, +Encolpius, and this may come in handy for us, so play your part and I'll +play mine, too!") + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p350"></a><img alt="p350.jpg (88K)" src="images/p350.jpg" height="959" width="487"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND FORTIETH. +</h2><br> +<p>(He was still speaking, when in came a) matron of the most exclusive +social set, Philumene by name, who had often, when young, extorted many +a legacy by means of her charms, but an old woman now, the flower of her +beauty faded, she threw her son and daughter in the way of childless old +men and through this substitution she contrived to continue her +established policy. She came to Eumolpus, both to commend her children +to his practical judgment and to entrust herself and her hopes to his +good nature, he being the only one in all the world who could daily +instruct young children in healthy precepts. In short, she left her +children in Eumolpus' house in order that they might hear the words that +dropped from his lips, as this was the only legacy she could leave to +them. Nor did she do otherwise than as she had promised, but left in +his bed chamber a very beautiful daughter and her brother, a lad, and +pretended that she herself was compelled to go out to a temple to offer +up her vows. Eumolpus, who was so continent that even I was a boy in his +eyes, lost no time in inviting the damsel to sacrifice to the Aversa +Venus; but, as he had told everyone that he was gouty and that his back +was weak, and as he stood in danger of upsetting the whole farce if he +did not carefully live up to the pretence, he therefore, that the +imposture might be kept up, prevailed upon the young lady to seat herself +upon that goodness which had been commended to her, and ordered Corax to +crawl under the bed upon which he himself was lying and after bracing +himself by putting his hands upon the floor, to hoist his master up and +down with his own back. Corax carried out the order in full and +skillfully seconded the wriggling of the girl with a corresponding +seesaw. Then, when the crisis was about due, Eumolpus, in a ringing +voice, called out to Corax to increase the cadence. And thus the old +lecher, suspended between his servant and his mistress, enjoyed himself +just as if he were in a swing. Time and again Eumolpus repeated this +performance, to the accompaniment of ringing laughter in which he himself +joined. At last, fearing I might lose an opportunity through lack of +application, I also made advances to the brother who was enjoying the +gymnastics of his sister through the keyhole, to see if he would prove +amenable to assault. Nor did this well trained lad reject my advances; +but alas! I discovered that the God was still my enemy. (However, I was +not so blue over this failure as I had been over those before, and my +virility returned a little later and, suddenly finding myself in better +fettle I cried out,) "Great are the gods who have made me whole again! +In his loving kindness, Mercury, who conducts and reconducts the souls, +has restored to me that which a hostile hand had cut away. Look! You +will find that I am more graciously endowed than was Protestilaus or any +other of the heroes of old!" So saying, I lifted up my tunic and showed +Eumolpus that I was whole. At first he was startled, then, that he might +believe his own eyes, he handled this pledge of the good will of the gods +with both hands. (Our good humor was revived by this blessing and we +laughed at the diplomacy of Philumene and at the skill with which her +children plied their calling, little likely to profit them much with us, +however, as it was only in hopes of coming into a legacy that she had +abandoned the boy and girl to us. Meditating upon this unscrupulous +method of getting around childless old men, I began to take thought of +the present state of our own affairs and made use of the occasion to warn +Eumolpus that he might be bitten in biting the biters. "Everything that +we do," I said, "should be dictated by Prudence.) Socrates, {whose +judgment was riper than that} of the gods or of men used to boast that he +had never looked into a tavern nor believed the evidence of his own eyes +in any crowded assembly which was disorderly: so nothing is more in +keeping than always conversing with wisdom. + +<blockquote> + +<br> Live coals are more readily held in men's mouths than a secret! + +<br> Whatever you talk of at home will fly forth in an instant, + +<br> Become a swift rumor and beat at the walls of your city. + +<br> Nor is it enough that your confidence thus has been broken, + +<br> As rumor but grows in the telling and strives to embellish. + +<br> The covetous servant who feared to make public his knowledge + +<br> A hole in the ground dug, and therein did whisper his secret + +<br> That told of a king's hidden ears: this the earth straightway + echoed, + +<br> And rustling reeds added that Midas was king in the story. +</blockquote> + +<p>"Every word of this is true," I insisted, "and no one deserves to get into +trouble more quickly than he who covets the goods of others! How could +cheats and swindlers live unless they threw purses or little bags +clinking with money into the crowd for bait? Just as dumb brutes are +enticed by food, human beings are not to be caught unless they have +something in the way of hope at which to nibble! (That was the reason +that the Crotonians gave us such a satisfactory reception, but) the ship +does not arrive, from Africa, with your money and your slaves, as you +promised. The patience of the fortune-hunters is worn out and they have +already cut down their liberality so that, either I am mistaken, or else +our usual luck is about to return to punish you!" + +<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-FIRST. +</h2><br> +<p>("I have thought up a scheme," replied Eumolpus, "which will embarrass +our fortune-hunting friends sorely," and as he said this, he drew his +tablets from his wallet and read his last wishes aloud, as follows:) +"All who are down for legacies under my will, my freedmen only excepted, +shall come into what I bequeath them subject to this condition, that they +do cut my body into pieces and devour said pieces in sight of the crowd: +{nor need they be inordinately shocked} for among some peoples, the law +ordaining that the dead shall be devoured by their relatives is still in +force; nay, even the sick are often abused because they render their own +flesh worse! I admonish my friends, by these presents, lest they refuse +what I command, that they devour my carcass with as great relish as they +damned my soul!" (Eumolpus had just started reading the first clauses +when several of his most intimate friends entered the room and catching +sight of the tablets in his hand in which was contained his last will and +testament, besought him earnestly to permit them to hear the contents. +He consented immediately and read the entire instrument from first to +last. But when they had heard that extraordinary stipulation by which +they were under the necessity of devouring his carcass, they were greatly +cast down, but) his reputation for enormous wealth dulled the eyes and +brains of the wretches, (and they were such cringing sycophants that they +dared not complain of the outrage in his hearing. One there was, +nevertheless, named) Gorgias, who was willing to comply, (provided he did +not have too long to wait! To this, Eumolpus made answer:) "I have no +fear that your stomach will turn, it will obey orders; if, for one hour +of nausea you promise it a plethora of good things: just shut your eyes +and pretend that it's not human guts you've bolted, but ten million +sesterces! And beside, we will find some condiment which will disguise +the taste! No flesh is palatable of itself, it must be seasoned by art +and reconciled to the unwilling stomach. And, if you desire to fortify +the plan by precedents, the Saguntines ate human flesh when besieged by +Hannibal, and they had no legacy in prospect! In stress of famine, the +inhabitants of Petelia did the same and gained nothing from the diet +except that they were not hungry! When Numantia was taken by Scipio, +mothers, with the half-eaten bodies of their babes in their bosoms, were +found! (Therefore, since it is only the thought of eating human flesh +that makes you squeamish, you must try to overcome your aversion, with +all your heart, so that you may come into the immense legacies I have put +you down for!" So carelessly did Eumolpus reel off these extravagances +that the fortune-hunters began to lose faith in the validity of his +promises and subjected our words and actions to a closer scrutiny +immediately; their suspicions grew with their experience and they came +to the conclusion that we were out and out grafters, and thereupon those +who had been put to the greatest expense for our entertainment resolved +to seize us and take it out in just revenge; but Chrysis, who was privy +to all their scheming, informed me of the designs which the Crotonians +had hatched; and when I heard this news, I was so terrified that I fled +instantly, with Giton, and left Eumolpus to his fate. I learned, a few +days later, that the Crotonians, furious because the old fox had lived +so long and so sumptuously at the public expense, had put him to death +in the Massilian manner. That you may comprehend what this means, know +that) whenever the Massilians were ravaged by the plague, one of the poor +would offer himself to be fed for a whole year upon choice food at public +charge; after which, decked out with olive branches and sacred vestments, +he was led out through the entire city, loaded with imprecations so that +he might take to himself the evils from which the city suffered, and then +thrown headlong (from the cliff.) + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p360"></a><img alt="p360.jpg (68K)" src="images/p360.jpg" height="845" width="609"> +</center> + + + +<br><br> +<hr> +<br><br> +<br><br> +<br><br> + + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Satyricon, Volume 5 (Crotona +Affairs), by Petronius Arbiter + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SATYRICON, VOLUME 5 *** + +***** This file should be named 5222-h.htm or 5222-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/5/2/2/5222/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Satyricon, Volume 5 (Crotona Affairs) + +Author: Petronius Arbiter + +Release Date: May 28, 2004 [EBook #5222] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SATYRICON, VOLUME 5 *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + THE SATYRICON OF + PETRONIUS ARBITER + + Complete and unexpurgated translation by W. C. Firebaugh, + in which are incorporated the forgeries of Nodot and Marchena, + and the readings introduced into the text by De Salas. + + +BRACKET CODE: + (Forgeries of Nodot) + [Forgeries of Marchena] + {Additions of De Salas} + DW + + +VOLUME 5.--AFFAIRS AT CROTONA + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIFTH. + +For a long time affairs at Crotona ran along in this manner and Eumolpus, +flushed with success so far forgot the former state of his fortunes that +he even bragged to his followers that no one could hold out against any +wish of his, and that any member of his suite who committed a crime +in that city would, through the influence of his friends, get off +unpunished. But, although I daily crammed my bloated carcass to +overflowing with good things, and began more and more to believe that +Fortune had turned away her face from keeping watch upon me, I frequently +meditated, nevertheless, upon my present state and upon its cause. +"Suppose," thought I, "some wily legacy hunter should dispatch an agent +to Africa and catch us in our lie? Or even suppose the hireling servant, +glutted with prosperity, should tip off his cronies or give the whole +scheme away out of spite? There would be nothing for it but flight and, +in a fresh state of destitution, a recalling of poverty which had been +driven off. Gods and goddesses, how ill it fares with those living +outside the law; they are always on the lookout for what is coming to +them!" (Turning these possibilities over in my mind I left the house, in +a state of black melancholy, hoping to revive my spirits in the fresh +air, but scarcely had I set foot upon the public promenade when a girl, +by no means homely, met me, and, calling me Polyaenos, the name I had +assumed since my metamorphosis, informed me that her mistress desired +leave to speak with me. "You must be mistaken," I answered, in +confusion, "I am only a servant and a stranger, and am by no means worthy +of such an honor.") + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SIXTH. + +("You yourself," she replied, "are the one to whom I was sent but,) +because you are well aware of your good looks, you are proud and sell +your favors instead of giving them. What else can those wavy well-combed +locks mean or that face, rouged and covered with cosmetics, or that +languishing, wanton expression in your eyes? Why that gait, so precise +that not a footstep deviates from its place, unless you wish to show off +your figure in order to sell your favors? Look at me, I know nothing +about omens and I don't study the heavens like the astrologers, but I can +read men's intentions in their faces and I know what a flirt is after +when I see him out for a stroll; so if you'll sell us what I want there's +a buyer ready, but if you will do the graceful thing and lend, let us be +under obligations to you for the favor. And as for your confession that +you are only a common servant, by that you only fan the passion of the +lady who burns for you, for some women will only kindle for canaille and +cannot work up an appetite unless they see some slave or runner with his +clothing girded up: a gladiator arouses one, or a mule-driver all covered +with dust, or some actor posturing in some exhibition on the stage. My +mistress belongs to this class, she jumps the fourteen rows from the +stage to the gallery and looks for a lover among the gallery gods at the +back." Puffed up with this delightful chatter. "Come now, confess, won't +you," I queried, "is this lady who loves me yourself?" The waiting maid +smiled broadly at this blunt speech. "Don't have such a high opinion of +yourself," said she, "I've never given in to any servant yet; the gods +forbid that I should ever throw my arms around a gallows-bird. Let the +married women see to that and kiss the marks of the scourge if they like: +I'll sit upon nothing below a knight, even if I am only a servant." I +could not help marveling, for my part, at such discordant passions, and I +thought it nothing short of a miracle that this servant should possess +the hauteur of the mistress and the mistress the low tastes of the wench! + + Each one will find what suits his taste, one thing is not for all, + One gathers roses as his share, another thorns enthrall. + +After a little more teasing, I requested the maid to conduct her mistress +to a clump of plane trees. Pleased with this plan, the girl picked up +the skirt of her garment and turned into a laurel grove that bordered the +path. After a short delay she brought her mistress from her hiding-place +and conducted her to my side; a woman more perfect than any statue. +There are no words with which to describe her form and anything I could +say would fall far short. Her hair, naturally wavy, flowed completely +over her shoulders; her forehead was low and the roots of her hair were +brushed back from it; her eyebrows, running from the very springs of her +cheeks, almost met at the boundary line between a pair of eyes brighter +than stars shining in a moonless night; her nose was slightly aquiline +and her mouth was such an one as Praxiteles dreamed Diana had. Her chin, +her neck, her hands, the gleaming whiteness of her feet under a slender +band of gold; she turned Parian marble dull! Then, for the first time, +Doris' tried lover thought lightly of Doris! + + Oh Jove, what's come to pass that thou, thine armor cast away + Art mute in heaven; and but an idle tale? + At such a time the horns should sprout, the raging bull hold sway, + Or they white hair beneath swan's down conceal + Here's Dana's self! But touch that lovely form + Thy limbs will melt beneath thy passions' storm! + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SEVENTH. + +She was delighted and so be witchingly did she smile that I seemed to see +the full moon showing her face from behind a cloud. Then, punctuating +her words with her fingers, "Dear boy, if you are not too critical to +enjoy a woman of wealth who has but this year known her first man, I +offer you a sister," said she. "You have a brother already, I know, for +I didn't disdain to ask, but what is to prevent your adopting a sister, +too? I will come in on the same footing only deem my kisses worthy of +recognition and caress me at your own pleasure!" "Rather let me implore +you by your beauty," I replied. "Do not scorn to admit an alien among +your worshipers: If you permit me to kneel before your shrine you will +find me a true votary and, that you may not think I approach this temple +of love without a gift, I make you a present of my brother!" "What," she +exclaimed, "would you really sacrifice the only one without whom you +could not live'? The one upon whose kisses your happiness depends. Him +whom you love as I would have you love me?" Such sweetness permeated her +voice as she said this, so entrancing was the sound upon the listening +air that you would have believed the Sirens' harmonies were floating in +the breeze. I was struck with wonder and dazzled by I know not what +light that shone upon me, brighter than the whole heaven, but I made +bold to inquire the name of my divinity. "Why, didn't my maid tell you +that I am called Circe?" she replied. "But I am not the sun-child nor +has my mother ever stayed the revolving world in its course at her +pleasure; but if the Fates bring us two together I will owe heaven a +favor. I don't know what it is, but some god's silent purpose is beneath +this. Circe loves not Polyaenos without some reason; a great torch is +always flaming when these names meet! Take me in your arms then, if you +will; there's no prying stranger to fear, and your 'brother' is far away +from this spot!" So saying, Circe clasped me in arms that were softer +than down and drew me to the ground which was covered with colored +flowers. + + With flowers like these did Mother Earth great Ida's summit strew + When Jupiter, his heart aflame, enjoyed his lawful love; + There glowed the rose, the flowering rush, the violet's deep blue, + From out green meadows snow-white lilies laughed. Then from above, + This setting summoned Venus to the green and tender sod, + Bright day smiled kindly on the secret amour of the God. + +Side by side upon the grassy plot we lay, exchanging a thousand kisses, +the prelude to more poignant pleasure, (but alas! My sudden loss of +vigor disappointed Circe!) + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT. + +(Infuriated at this affront,) "What's the matter," demanded she; "do my +kisses offend you? Is my breath fetid from fasting? Is there any evil +smelling perspiration in my armpits? Or, if it's nothing of this kind, +are you afraid of Giton?" Under her eyes, I flushed hotly and, if I had +any virility left, I lost it then; my whole body seemed to be inert. "My +queen," I cried, "do not mock me in my humiliation. I am bewitched!" +(Circe's anger was far from being appeased by such a trivial excuse; +turning her eyes contemptuously away from me, she looked at her maid,) +"Tell me, Chrysis, and tell me truly, is there anything repulsive about +me? Anything sluttish? Have I some natural blemish that disfigures my +beauty? Don't deceive your mistress! I don't know what's the matter +with us, but there must be something!" Then she snatched a mirror from +the silent maid and after scrutinizing all the looks and smiles which +pass between lovers, she shook out her wrinkled earth-stained robe and +flounced off into the temple of Venus (nearby.) And here was I, like a +convicted criminal who had seen some horrible nightmare, asking myself +whether the pleasure out of which I had been cheated was a reality or +only a dream. + + As when, in the sleep-bringing night + Dreams sport with the wandering eyes, + And earth, spaded up, yields to light + Her gold that by day she denies, + The stealthy hand snatches the spoils; + The face with cold sweat is suffused + And Fear grips him tight in her toils + Lest robbers the secret have used + And shake out the gold from his breast. + But, when they depart from his brain, + These enchantments by which he's obsessed, + And Truth comes again with her train + Restoring perspective and pain, + The phantasm lives to the last, + The mind dwells with shades of the past. + +(The misfortune seemed to me a dream, but I imagined that I must surely +be under a spell of enchantment and, for a long time, I was so devoid of +strength that I could not get to my feet. But finally my mental +depression began to abate, little by little my strength came back to me, +and I returned home: arrived there, I feigned illness and threw myself +upon my couch. A little late: Giton, who had heard of my indisposition, +entered the room in some concern. As I wished to relieve his mind I +informed him that I had merely sought my pallet to take a rest, telling +him much other gossip but not a word about my mishap as I stood in great +fear of his jealousy and, to lull any suspicion which he might entertain, +I drew him to my side and endeavoured to give him some proofs of my love +but all my panting and sweating were in vain. He jumped up in a rage and +accused my lack of virility and change of heart, declaring that he had +for a long time suspected that I had been expending my vigor and breath +elsewhere. "No! No! Darling," I replied, "my love for you has always +been the same, but reason prevails now over love and wantonness.") "And +for the Socratic continence of your love, I thank you in his name," (he +replied sarcastically,) "Alcibiades was never more spotless when he left +his master's bed!" + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-NINTH. + +"Believe me, 'brother,' when I tell you that I do not know whether I am a +man or not," (I vainly protested;) "I do not feel like one, if I am! +Dead and buried lies that part in which I was once an Achilles!" (Giton, +seeing that I was completely enervated, and) fearing that it might give +cause for scandal if he were caught in this quiet place with me, tore +himself away and fled into an inner part of the house. (He had just gone +when) Chrysis entered the room and handed me her mistress's tablets, in +which were written the following words: + + CIRCE TO POLYIENOS-GREETING. + + Were I a wanton, I should complain of my disappointment, but as it + is I am beholden to your impotence, for by it I dallied the longer + in the shadow of pleasure. Still, I would like to know how you are + and whether you got home upon your own legs, for the doctors say + that one cannot walk without nerves! Young man, I advise you to + beware of paralysis for I never in my life saw a patient in such + great danger; you're as good as dead, I'm sure! What if the same + numbness should attack your hands and knees? You would have to send + for the funeral trumpeters! Still, even if I have been affronted, + I will not begrudge a prescription to one as sick as you! Ask Giton + if you would like to recover. I am sure you will get back your + strength if you will sleep without your "brother" for three nights. + So far as I am concerned, I am not in the least alarmed about + finding someone to whom I shall be as pleasing as I was to you; my + mirror and my reputation do not lie. + + Farewell (if you can). + +"Such things will happen," said Chrysis, when she saw that I had read +through the entire inditement, "and especially in this city, where the +women can lure the moon from the sky! But we'll find a cure for your +trouble. Just return a diplomatic answer to my mistress and restore her +self-esteem by frank courtesy for, truth to tell, she has never been +herself from the minute she received that affront." I gladly followed +the maid's advice and wrote upon the tablets as follows: + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTIETH. + + POLYAENOS TO CIRCE--GREETING. + + Dear lady, I confess that I have often given cause for offense, for + I am only a man, and a young one, too, but I never committed a + deadly crime until today! You have my confession of guilt, I + deserve any punishment you may see fit to prescribe. I betrayed a + trust, I murdered a man, I violated a temple: demand my punishment + for these crimes. Should it be your pleasure to slay me I will come + to you with my sword; if you are content with a flogging I will run + naked to my mistress; only bear in mind that it was not myself but + my tools that failed me. I was a soldier, and ready, but I had no + arms. What threw me into such disorder I do not know, perhaps my + imagination outran my lagging body, by aspiring to too much it is + likely that I spent my pleasure in delay; I cannot imagine what the + trouble was. You bid me beware of paralysis; as if a disease which + prevented my enjoying you could grow worse! But my apology amounts + briefly to this; if you will grant me an opportunity of repairing my + fault, I will give you satisfaction. + Farewell + +After dismissing Chrysis with these fair promises, I paid careful +attention to my body which had so evilly served me and, omitting the +bath, I annointed myself, in moderation, with unguents and placed myself +upon a more strengthening diet such as onions and snail's heads without +condiments, and I also drank more sparingly of wine; then, taking a short +walk before settling down to sleep, I went to bed without Giton. So +anxious was I to please her that I feared the outcome if my "brother" lay +tickling my side. + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FIRST. + +Finding myself vigorous in mind and body when I arose next morning, I +went down to the same clump of plane trees, though I dreaded the spot as +one of evil omen, and commenced to wait for Chrysis to lead me on my way. +I took a short stroll and had just seated myself where I had sat the day +before, when she came under the trees, leading a little old woman by the +hand. "Well, Mr. Squeamish," she chirped, when she had greeted me, "have +you recovered your appetite?" In the meantime, the old hag: + + A wine-soaked crone with twitching lips + +brought out a twisted hank of different colored yarns and put it about my +neck; she then kneaded dust and spittle and, dipping her middle finger +into the mixture, she crossed my forehead with it, in spite of my +protests. + + As long as life remains, there's hope; + Thou rustic God, oh hear our prayer, + Great Priapus, I thee invoke, + Temper our arms to dare! + +When she had made an end of this incantation she ordered me to spit three +times, and three times to drop stones into my bosom, each stone she +wrapped up in purple after she had muttered charms over it; then, +directing her hands to my privates, she commenced to try out my virility. +Quicker than thought the nerves responded to the summons, filling the +crone's hand with an enormous erection! Skipping for joy, "Look, +Chrysis, look," she cried out, "see what a hare I've started, for someone +else to course!" (This done, the old lady handed me over to Chrysis, who +was greatly delighted at the recovery of her mistress's treasure; she +hastily conducted me straight to the latter, introducing me into a lovely +nook that nature had furnished with everything which could delight the +eye.) + + Shorn of its top, the swaying pine here casts a + summer shade + And quivering cypress, and the stately plane + And berry-laden laurel. A brook's wimpling waters strayed + Lashed into foam, but dancing on again + And rolling pebbles in their chattering flow. + 'Twas Love's own nook, + As forest nightingale and urban Procne undertook + To bear true witness; hovering, the gleaming grass above + And tender violets; wooing with song, their stolen love. + +Fanning herself with a branch of flowering myrtle, she lay, stretched out +with her marble neck resting upon a golden cushion. When she caught +sight of me she blushed faintly; she recalled yesterday's affront, I +suppose. At her invitation, I sat down by her side, as soon as the +others had gone; whereupon she put the branch of myrtle over my face and +emboldened, as if a wall had been raised between us, "Well, Mr. +Paralytic," she teased, "have you brought all of yourself along today?" +"Why ask me," I replied, "why not try me instead?" and throwing myself +bodily into her arms, I revelled in her kisses with no witchcraft to stop +me. + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-SECOND. + +The loveliness of her form drew me to her and summoned me to love. Our +lips were pressed together in a torrent of smacking kisses, our groping +hands had discovered every trick of excitation, and our bodies, clasped +in a mutual embrace, had fused our souls into one, (and then, in the very +midst of these ravishing preliminaries my nerves again played me false +and I was unable to last until the instant of supreme bliss.) Lashed to +fury by these inexcusable affronts, the lady at last ran to avenge +herself and, calling her house servants, she gave orders for me to be +hoisted upon their shoulders and flogged; then, still unsatisfied with +the drastic punishment she had inflicted upon me, she called all the +spinning women and scrubbing wenches in the house and ordered them to +spit upon me. I covered my face with my hands but I uttered no complaint +as I well knew what I deserved and, overwhelmed with blows and spittle, I +was driven from the house. Proselenos was kicked out too, Chrysis was +beaten, and all the slaves grumbled among themselves and wondered what +had upset their mistress's good humor. I took heart after having given +some thought to my misfortunes and, artfully concealing the marks of the +blows for fear that Eumolpus would make merry over my mishaps or, worse +yet, that Giton might be saddened by my disgrace, I did the only thing I +could do to save my self-respect, I pretended that I was sick and went to +bed. There, I turned the full fury of my resentment against that +recreant which had been the sole cause of all the evil accidents which +had befallen me. + + Three times I grasped the two-edged blade + The recreant to cut away; + Three times by Fear my hand was stayed + And palsied Terror said me nay + That which I might have done before + 'Twas now impossible to do; + For, cold with Fear, the wretch withdrew + Into a thousand-wrinkled mare, + And shrank in shame before my gaze + Nor would his head uncover more. + But though the scamp in terror skulked, + With words I flayed him as he sulked. + +Raising myself upon my elbow I rebuked the shirker in some such terms as +these: "What have you to say for yourself, you disgrace to gods and men," +I demanded, "for your name must never be mentioned among refined people. +Did I deserve to be lifted up to heaven and then dragged down to hell by +you? Was it right for you to slander my flourishing and vigorous years +and land me in the shadows and lassitude of decrepit old age? Give me +some sign, however faint, I beg of you, that you have returned to life!" +I vented my anger in words such as these. + + His eyes were fixed, and with averted look + He stood, less moved by any word of mine + Than weeping willows bending o'er a brook + Or drooping poppies as at noon they pine. + +When I had made an end of this invective, so out of keeping with good +taste, I began to do penance for my soliloquy and blushed furtively +because I had so far forgotten my modesty as to invoke in words that part +of my body which men of dignity do not even recognize. Then, rubbing my +forehead for a long time, "Why have I committed an indiscretion in +relieving my resentment by natural abuse," I mused, "what does it amount +to? Are we not accustomed to swear at every member of the human body, +the belly, throat, or even the head when it aches, as it often does? Did +not Ulysses wrangle with his own heart? Do not the tragedians 'Damn +their eyes' just as if they could hear? + +"Gouty patients swear at their feet, rheumatics at their hands, +blear-eyed +people at their eyes, and do not those who often stub their toes blame +their feet for all their pain? + + "Why will our Catos with their frowning brows + Condemn a work of fresh simplicity'? + A cheerful kindness my pure speech endows; + What people do, I write, to my capacity. + For who knows not the pleasures Venus gives? + Who will not in a warm bed tease his members? + Great Epicurus taught a truth that lives; + Love and enjoy life! All the rest is embers. + +"Nothing can be more insincere than the silly prejudices of mankind, and +nothing sillier than the morality of bigotry," + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-THIRD. + +I called Giton when I had finished my meditation: "Tell me, little +brother," I demanded, "tell me, on your honor: Did Ascyltos stay awake +until he had exacted his will of you, the night he stole you away from +me? Or was he content to spend the night like a chaste widow?" Wiping +his eyes the lad, in carefully chosen words took oath that Ascyltos had +used no force against him. (The truth of the matter is, that I was so +distraught with my own misfortunes that I knew not what I was saying. +"Why recall past memories which can only cause pain," said I to myself. +I then directed all my energies towards the recovery of my lost manhood. +To achieve this I was ready even to devote myself to the gods; +accordingly, I went out to invoke the aid of Priapus.) {Putting as good a +face upon the matter as I could} I knelt upon the threshold of his shrine +and invoked the God in the following verses: + + "Of Bacchus and the nymphs, companion boon, + Whom fair Dione set o'er forests wide + As God: whom Lesbos and green Thasos own + For deity, whom Lydians, far and wide + Adore through all the seasons of the year; + Whose temple in his own Hypaepa placed, + Thou Dryad's joy and Bacchus', hear my prayer! + To thee I come, by no dark blood disgraced, + No shrine, in wicked lust have I profaned; + When I was poor and worn with want, I sinned + Not by intent, a pauper's sin's not banned + As of another! Unto thee I pray + Lift thou the load from off my tortured mind, + Forgive a light offense! When fortune smiles + I'll not thy glory shun and leave behind + Thy worship! Unto thee, a goat that feels + His primest vigor, father of the flocks + Shall come! And suckling pigs, the tender young + Of some fine grunting sow! New wine, in crocks + Shall foam! Thy grateful praises shall be sung + By youths who thrice shall dance around thy shrine + Happy, in youth and full of this year's wine!" + +While I was engaged in this diplomatic effort in behalf of the affected +member, a hideous crone with disheveled hair, and clad in black garments +which were in great disorder, entered the shrine and, laying hands upon +me, led me {thoroughly frightened,} out into the portico. + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FOURTH. + +"What witches" (she cried,) "have devoured your manhood? What filth did +you tread upon at some crossroads, in the dark? Not even by the boy +could you do your duty but, weak and effeminate, you are worn out like a +cart-horse at a hill, you have lost both labor and sweat! Not content +with getting yourself into trouble, you have stirred up the wrath of the +gods against me {and I will make you smart for it."} She then led me, +unresisting, back into the priestess's room, pushed me down upon the bed, +snatched a cane that hung upon the door, and gave me another thrashing: +I remained silent and, had the cane not splintered at the first stroke, +thereby diminishing the force of the blow, she might easily have broken +my arms or my head. I groaned dismally, and especially when she +manipulated my member and, shedding a flood of tears, I covered my head +with my right arm and huddled down upon the pillow. Nor did she weep +less bitterly: + +The sailor, naked from his foundered barque, +Some shipwrecked mariner seeks out to hear his woe; +When hail beats down a farmer's crop, his cark +Seeks consolation from another, too. +Death levels caste and sufferers unites, +And weeping parents are as one in grief; +We also will beseech the starry heights, +United prayers climb best, is the belief. + +She seated herself upon the other side of the bed and in quavering tones +commenced to accuse the delays of old age. At last the priestess came +in. "Why," she cried, "what has brought you into my cell as if you were +visiting a newly made grave? And on a feast-day, too, when even mourners +ought to smile!" "OEnothea," the old hag replied, "this young man here +was born under an unlucky star: he can't dispose of his goods to either +boy or girl. Such an unfortunate fellow you never saw. He has no tool +at all, only a piece of leather soaked in water! I wish you would tell +me what you think of a man who could get up from Circe's bed without +having tasted pleasure!" On hearing these words, OEnothea sat down +between us and, after shaking her head for a while, "I'm the only one +that knows how to cure that disease," said she, "and for fear you think +I'm talking to hear myself talk, I'll just have the young fellow sleep +with me for a night, and if I don't make it as hard as horn! + + All that you see in the world must give heed to my mandates; + + Blossoming earth, when I will it, must languish, a desert.' + + Riches pour forth, when I will it, from crags and grim boulders + + Waters will spurt that will rival the Nile at its flooding + + Seas calm their billows before me, gales silence their howlings, + + Hearing my step! And the rivers sink into their channels; + + Dragons, Hyrcanian tigers stand fast at my bidding! + + Why should I tell you of small things? The image of Luna + + Drawn by my spells must descend, and Apollo, atremble + + Backs up his horses and turns from his course at my order! + + Such is the power of my word! By the rites of a virgin + + Quenched is the raging of bulls; and the sun's daughter Circe + + Changed and transfigured the crew of the wily Ulysses. + + Proteus changes his form when his good pleasure dictates, + + I, who am skilled in these arts, can the shrubs of Mount Ida + + Plant in the ocean; turn rivers to flow up the mountains!" + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FIFTH. + +At this declaration, which was so awe-inspiring, I shuddered in terror, +and commenced to scrutinize the crone more narrowly. "Come now," said +OEnothea, "obey my orders," and, carefully wiping her hands, she bent +over the cot and kissed me, once, twice! On the middle of the altar +OEnothea placed an old table, upon which she heaped live coals, then with +melted pitch she repaired a goblet which had become cracked through age. +Next she replaced, in the smoke-stained wall, a peg which had come out +when she took down the wooden goblet. Then, having donned a mantle, in +the shape of a piece of square-cut cloth, she set a huge kettle upon the +hearth and at the same time speared with a fork a cloth hanging upon the +meathooks, and lifted it down. It contained some beans which had been +laid away for future use, and a very small and stale piece of pig's +cheek, scored with a thousand slashes. When she had untied the string +which fastened the cloth, she poured some of the beans upon the table and +ordered me to shell them quickly and carefully. I obey her mandate and +with careful fingers separate the beans from the filthy pods which +contain them; but she, accusing my clumsiness, hastily snatched them and, +skillfully tearing off the pods with her teeth, spat them upon the +ground, where they looked like dead flies. I wondered, then, at the +ingenuity of poverty and its expedients for emergency. (So ardent a +follower of this virtue did the priestess seem that it was reflected in +everything around her. Her dwelling, in particular, was a very shrine of +poverty.) + + No Indian ivory set in gold gleamed here, + No trodden marble glistened here; no earth + Mocked for its gifts; but Ceres' festive grove: + With willow wickerwork 'twas set around, + New cups of clay by revolutions shaped + Of lowly wheel. For honey soft, a bowl; + Platters of green bark wickerwork, a jar + Stained by the lifeblood of the God of Wine; + The walls around with chaff and spattered clay + Were covered. Flanging from protruding nails + Were slender stalks of the green rush; and then + Suspended from the smoky beam, the stores + Of this poor cottage. Service berries soft, + Entwined in fragrant wreaths hung down, + Dried savory and raisins by the bunch. + An hostess here like she on Attic soil, + Of Hecate's pure worship worthy she! + Whose fame Kallimachos so grandly sang + 'Twill live forever through the speaking years. + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-SIXTH. + +In the meantime, (having shelled the beans,) she took a mouthful of the +meat and with the fork was replacing the pig's cheek, which was coeval +with herself, upon the meat-hook, when the rotten stool, which she was +using to augment her height, broke down under the old lady's weight and +let her fall upon the hearth. The neck of the pot was broken, putting +out the fire, which was just getting a good start, her elbow was burned +by a flaming brand, and her whole face was covered by the ashes raised by +her fall. I jumped up in dismay and, not without laughing, helped the +old lady to her feet. She hastily scurried out into the neighborhood to +replenish the fire, for fear anything should delay the sacrifice. I was +on my way to the door of the cell when lo! and behold! three sacred geese +which were accustomed, I suppose, to demand their feed from the old woman +at midday, made a rush at me and, surrounding me, made me nervous with +their abominable rabid cackling. One tore at my tunic, another undid the +lacings of my sandals and tugged at them, but one in particular, the +ringleader and moving spirit of this savage attack, did not hesitate to +worry at my leg with his serrated bill. Unable to see the joke, I +twisted off one of the legs of the little table and, thus armed, began to +belabor the pugnacious brute. Nor did I rest content with a light blow, +I avenged myself by the death of the goose. + + 'Twas thus, I ween, the birds of Stymphalus + To heaven fled, by Herakles impelled; + The Harpies, too, whose reeking pinions held + That poison which the feast of Phineus + Contaminated. All the air above + With their unwonted lamentations shook, + The heavens in uproar and confusion move + {The Stars, in dread, their orbits then forsook!} + +By this time the two remaining geese had picked up the beans which had +been scattered all over the floor and bereft, I suppose, of their leader, +had gone back into the temple; and I, well content with my revenge and my +booty, threw the dead goose behind the cot and bathed the trifling wound +in my leg with vinegar: then, fearing a scolding, I made up my mind to +run away and, collecting together all my belongings, started to leave the +house. I had not yet stepped over the threshold of the cell, however, +when I caught sight of OEnothea returning with an earthen vessel full of +live coals. Thereupon I retraced my steps and, throwing off my garments, +I took my stand just inside the door, as if I were awaiting her return. +She banked her fire with broken reeds, piled some pieces of wood on top, +and began to excuse her delay on the ground that her friend would not +permit her to leave until after the customary three drinks had been +taken. "But what were you up to in my absence?" she demanded. "Where +are the beans?" Thinking that I had done a thing worthy of all praise, I +informed her of the battle in all its details and, that she might not be +downcast any longer, I produced the dead goose in payment for her loss. +When the old lady laid eyes upon that, she raised such a clamor that you +would have thought that the geese had invaded the room again. Confounded +and thunderstruck at the novelty of my crime, I asked her why she was so +angry and why she pitied the goose rather than myself. + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVENTH. + +But, beating her palms together, "You villain, are you so brazen that you +can speak?" she shrieked. "Don't you know what a serious crime you've +committed? You have slaughtered the delight of Priapus, a goose, the +very darling of married women! And for fear you think that nothing +serious has happened, if the magistrates find this out you'll go to the +cross! Until this day my dwelling has been inviolate and you have +polluted it with blood! You have conducted yourself in such a manner +that any enemy I have can turn me out of the priesthood!" + + She spoke, and from her trembling head she tore the snow-white hair, + And scratched her cheeks: her eyes shed floods of tears. + As when a torrent headlong rushes down the valleys drear, + Its icy fetters gone when Sprint appears, + And strikes the frozen shackles from rejuvenated earth + So down her face the tears in torrents swept + And wracking sobs convulsed her as she wept. + +"Please don't make such a fuss," I said, "I'll give you an ostrich in +place of your goose!" While she sat upon the cot and, to my +stupefaction, bewailed the death of the goose, Proselenos came in with +the materials for the sacrifice. Seeing the dead goose and inquiring the +cause of her grief, she herself commenced to weep more violently still +and to commiserate me, as if I had slain my own father, instead of a +public goose. Growing tired of this nonsense at last, "See here," +said I, "could I not purchase immunity for a price, even though I had +assaulted you'? Even though I had murdered a man? Look here! I'm +laying down two gold pieces, you can buy both gods and geese with them!" +"Forgive me, young man," said OEnothea, when she caught sight of the +gold, "I am anxious upon your account; that is a proof of love, not of +malignity. Let us take such precautions that not a soul will find this +out. As for you, pray to the gods to forgive your sacrilege!" + + The rich man can sail in a favoring gale + And snap out his course at his pleasure; + A Dance espouse, no Acrisius will rail, + His credence by hers he will measure; + Write verse, or declaim; snap the finger of scorn + At the world, yet still win all his cases, + The rabble will drink in his words with concern + When a Cato austere it displaces. + At law, his "not proven," or "proved," he can have + With Servius or Labeo vieing; + With gold at command anything he may crave + Is his without asking or sighing. + The universe bows at his slightest behest, + For Jove is a prisoner in his treasure chest. + +In the meantime, she scurried around and put a jar of wine under my hands +and, when my fingers had all been spread out evenly, she purified them +with leeks and parsley. Then, muttering incantations, she threw +hazel-nuts into the wine and drew her conclusions as they sank or +floated; but she did not hoodwink me, for those with empty shells, no +kernel and full of air, would of course float, while those that were +heavy and full of sound kernel would sink to the bottom. {She then +turned her attention to the goose,} and, cutting open the breast, she +drew out a very fat liver from which she foretold my future. Then, for +fear any trace of the crime should remain, she cut the whole goose up, +stuck the pieces upon spits, and served up a very delectable dinner for +me, whom, but a moment before, she had herself condemned to death, in +her own words! Meanwhile, cups of unmixed wine went merrily around (and +the crones greedily devoured the goose which they had but so lately +lamented. When the last morsel had disappeared, OEnothea, half-drunk by +this time, looked at me and said, "We must now go through with the +mysteries, so that you may get back your virility.") + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-EIGHTH. + +(As she said this OEnothea brought) out a leathern dildo which, when she +had smeared it with oil, ground pepper, and pounded nettle seed, she +commenced to force, little by little, up my anus. The merciless old +virago then anointed the insides of my thighs with the same decoction; +finally mixing nasturtium juice with elixir of southern wood, she gave my +genitals a bath and, picking up a bunch of green nettles, she commenced +to strike me gently all over my belly below the navel. {The nettles stung +me horribly and I suddenly took to my heels, with the old hags in full +pursuit.} Although they were befuddled with wine and lust they followed +the right road and chased me through several wards, screaming "Stop +thief." I made good my escape, however, although every toe was bleeding +as the result of my headlong flight. (I got home as quickly as I could +and, worn out with fatigue, I sought my couch, but I could not snatch a +wink of sleep for the evil adventures which had befallen me kept running +through my brain and, brooding upon them, I came to the conclusion that +no one could be so abjectly unfortunate. "Has Fortune, always inimical +to me, stood in need of the pangs of love, that she might torture me more +cruelly still," I cried out; "unhappy wretch that I am! Fortune and Love +have joined forces to bring about my ruin. Cruel Eros himself had never +dealt leniently with me, loved or lover I am put to the torture! Take +the case of Chrysis: she loves me desperately, never leaves off teasing +me, she who despised me as a servant, because, when she was acting as her +mistress's go-between, I was dressed in the garments of a slave: she, I +say) that same Chrysis, who looked with contempt upon your former lowly +lot, is now bent upon following it up even at the peril of her life; (she +swore that she would never leave my side on the day when she told me of +the violence of her passion: but Circe owns me, heart and soul, all +others I despise. Who could be lovelier than she?) What loveliness +had Ariadne or Leda to compare with hers? What had Helen to compare with +her, what has Venus? If Paris himself had seen her with her dancing +eyes, when he acted as umpire for the quarreling goddesses, he would have +given up Helen and the goddesses for her! If I could only steal a kiss, +if only I might put my arms around that divine, that heavenly bosom, +perhaps the virility would come back to this body and the parts, flaccid +from witchcraft would, I believe, come into their own. Contempt cannot +tire me out: what if I was flogged; I will forget it! What if I was +thrown out! I will treat it as a joke! Only let me be restored to her +good graces! + + At rest on my pallet, night's silence had scarce settled down + + To soothe me, and eyes heavy-laden with slumber to lull + + When torturing Amor laid hold of me, seizing my hair + + And dragging me, wounding me, ordered a vigil till dawn. + + 'Oh heart of stone, how canst thou lie here alone?' said the God, + + 'Thou joy of a thousand sweet mistresses, how, oh my slave?' + + In disarrayed nightrobe I leap to bare feet and essay + + To follow all paths; but a road can discover by none. + + One moment I hasten; the next it is torture to move, + + It irks me again to turn back, shame forbids me to halt + + And stand in the midst of the road. Lo! the voices of men, + + The roar of the streets, and the songs of the birds, and the bark + + Of vigilant watch-dogs are hushed! Alone, I of all + + Society dread both my slumber and couch, and obey + + Great Lord of the Passions, thy mandate which on me was laid." + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-NINTH. + +(Such thoughts as these, of lovely Circe's charms so wrought upon my mind +that) I disordered my bed by embracing the image, as it were, of my +mistress, (but my efforts were all wasted.) This obstinate (affliction +finally wore out my patience, and I cursed the hostile deity by whom I +was bewitched. I soon recovered my composure, however, and, deriving +some consolation from thinking of the heroes of old, who had been +persecuted by the anger of the gods, I broke out in these lines:) + + Hostile gods and implacable rate not me alone pursue; + + Herakles once suffered the weight of heaven's displeasure too + + Driven from the Inachian coast: Laomedon of old + + Sated two of the heavenly host: in Pelias, behold + + Juno's power to avenge an affront; and Telephus took arms + + Knowing not he must bear the brunt; Ulysses feared the storms + + Angry Neptune decreed as his due. Now, me to overwhelm + + Outraged Priapus ever pursues on land and Nereus' realm. + +(Tortured by these cares I spent the whole night in anxiety, and at dawn, +Giton, who had found out that I had slept at home, entered the room and +bitterly accused me of leading a licentious life; he said that the whole +household was greatly concerned at what I had been doing, that I was so +rarely present to attend to my duties, and that the intrigue in which I +was engaged would very likely bring about my ruin. I gathered from this +that he had been well informed as to my affairs, and that someone had +been to the house inquiring for me. Thereupon,) I began to ply Giton +with questions as to whether anyone had made inquiry for me; "Not today," +he replied, "but yesterday a woman came in at the door, not bad looking, +either, and after talking to me for quite a while, and wearing me out +with her far-fetched conversation, finally ended by saying that you +deserved punishment, and that you would receive the scourging of a slave +if the injured party pressed his complaint." (This news afflicted me so +bitterly that I levelled fresh recriminations against Fortune, and) I had +not yet finished grumbling when Chrysis came in and, throwing herself +upon me, embraced me passionately. "I have you," she cried, "just as I +hoped I would; you are my heart's desire, my joy, you can never put out +this flame of mine unless you quench it in my blood!" (I was greatly +embarrassed by this wantonness of Chrysis and had recourse to flattery +in order that I might rid myself of her, as I feared that her passionate +outcries would reach the ears of Eumolpus who, in the arrogance of +success, had put on the manner of the master. So on this account, I did +everything I could think of to calm Chrysis. I feigned love, whispered +compliments, in short, so skillfully did I dissimulate that she believed +I was Love's own captive. I showed her what pressing peril overhung us +should she be caught in that room with me, as Eumolpus was only too ready +to punish the slightest offense. On hearing this, she left me hurriedly, +and all the more quickly, as she caught sight of Giton, who had only left +me a little before she had come in, on his way to my room. She was +scarcely gone when) one of the newly engaged servants rushed in and +informed me that the master was furiously angry with me because of my two +days' absence from duty; I would do well, therefore, to prepare some +plausible excuse, as it was not likely that his angry passion would be +placated until someone had been flogged. (Seeing that I was so vexed and +disheartened, Giton said not a word about the woman, contenting himself +with speaking of Eumolpus, and advising me that it would be better to +joke with him than to treat the matter seriously. I followed this lead +and appeared before the old fellow, with so merry a countenance that, +instead of showing severity, he received me with good humor and rallied +me upon the success of my love affairs, praising the elegance of my +figure which made me such a favorite with the ladies. "I know very +well," he went on, "that a lovely woman is dying for love of you, +Encolpius, and this may come in handy for us, so play your part and I'll +play mine, too!") + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND FORTIETH. + +(He was still speaking, when in came a) matron of the most exclusive +social set, Philumene by name, who had often, when young, extorted many +a legacy by means of her charms, but an old woman now, the flower of her +beauty faded, she threw her son and daughter in the way of childless old +men and through this substitution she contrived to continue her +established policy. She came to Eumolpus, both to commend her children +to his practical judgment and to entrust herself and her hopes to his +good nature, he being the only one in all the world who could daily +instruct young children in healthy precepts. In short, she left her +children in Eumolpus' house in order that they might hear the words that +dropped from his lips, as this was the only legacy she could leave to +them. Nor did she do otherwise than as she had promised, but left in +his bed chamber a very beautiful daughter and her brother, a lad, and +pretended that she herself was compelled to go out to a temple to offer +up her vows. Eumolpus, who was so continent that even I was a boy in his +eyes, lost no time in inviting the damsel to sacrifice to the Aversa +Venus; but, as he had told everyone that he was gouty and that his back +was weak, and as he stood in danger of upsetting the whole farce if he +did not carefully live up to the pretence, he therefore, that the +imposture might be kept up, prevailed upon the young lady to seat herself +upon that goodness which had been commended to her, and ordered Corax to +crawl under the bed upon which he himself was lying and after bracing +himself by putting his hands upon the floor, to hoist his master up and +down with his own back. Corax carried out the order in full and +skillfully seconded the wriggling of the girl with a corresponding +seesaw. Then, when the crisis was about due, Eumolpus, in a ringing +voice, called out to Corax to increase the cadence. And thus the old +lecher, suspended between his servant and his mistress, enjoyed himself +just as if he were in a swing. Time and again Eumolpus repeated this +performance, to the accompaniment of ringing laughter in which he himself +joined. At last, fearing I might lose an opportunity through lack of +application, I also made advances to the brother who was enjoying the +gymnastics of his sister through the keyhole, to see if he would prove +amenable to assault. Nor did this well trained lad reject my advances; +but alas! I discovered that the God was still my enemy. (However, I was +not so blue over this failure as I had been over those before, and my +virility returned a little later and, suddenly finding myself in better +fettle I cried out,) "Great are the gods who have made me whole again! +In his loving kindness, Mercury, who conducts and reconducts the souls, +has restored to me that which a hostile hand had cut away. Look! You +will find that I am more graciously endowed than was Protestilaus or any +other of the heroes of old!" So saying, I lifted up my tunic and showed +Eumolpus that I was whole. At first he was startled, then, that he might +believe his own eyes, he handled this pledge of the good will of the gods +with both hands. (Our good humor was revived by this blessing and we +laughed at the diplomacy of Philumene and at the skill with which her +children plied their calling, little likely to profit them much with us, +however, as it was only in hopes of coming into a legacy that she had +abandoned the boy and girl to us. Meditating upon this unscrupulous +method of getting around childless old men, I began to take thought of +the present state of our own affairs and made use of the occasion to warn +Eumolpus that he might be bitten in biting the biters. "Everything that +we do," I said, "should be dictated by Prudence.) Socrates, {whose +judgment was riper than that} of the gods or of men used to boast that he +had never looked into a tavern nor believed the evidence of his own eyes +in any crowded assembly which was disorderly: so nothing is more in +keeping than always conversing with wisdom. + + Live coals are more readily held in men's mouths than a secret! + + Whatever you talk of at home will fly forth in an instant, + + Become a swift rumor and beat at the walls of your city. + + Nor is it enough that your confidence thus has been broken, + + As rumor but grows in the telling and strives to embellish. + + The covetous servant who feared to make public his knowledge + + A hole in the ground dug, and therein did whisper his secret + + That told of a king's hidden ears: this the earth straightway + echoed, + + And rustling reeds added that Midas was king in the story. + +Every word of this is true," I insisted, "and no one deserves to get into +trouble more quickly than he who covets the goods of others! How could +cheats and swindlers live unless they threw purses or little bags +clinking with money into the crowd for bait? Just as dumb brutes are +enticed by food, human beings are not to be caught unless they have +something in the way of hope at which to nibble! (That was the reason +that the Crotonians gave us such a satisfactory reception, but) the ship +does not arrive, from Africa, with your money and your slaves, as you +promised. The patience of the fortune-hunters is worn out and they have +already cut down their liberality so that, either I am mistaken, or else +our usual luck is about to return to punish you!" + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-FIRST. + +("I have thought up a scheme," replied Eumolpus, "which will embarrass +our fortune-hunting friends sorely," and as he said this, he drew his +tablets from his wallet and read his last wishes aloud, as follows:) +"All who are down for legacies under my will, my freedmen only excepted, +shall come into what I bequeath them subject to this condition, that they +do cut my body into pieces and devour said pieces in sight of the crowd: +{nor need they be inordinately shocked} for among some peoples, the law +ordaining that the dead shall be devoured by their relatives is still in +force; nay, even the sick are often abused because they render their own +flesh worse! I admonish my friends, by these presents, lest they refuse +what I command, that they devour my carcass with as great relish as they +damned my soul!" (Eumolpus had just started reading the first clauses +when several of his most intimate friends entered the room and catching +sight of the tablets in his hand in which was contained his last will and +testament, besought him earnestly to permit them to hear the contents. +He consented immediately and read the entire instrument from first to +last. But when they had heard that extraordinary stipulation by which +they were under the necessity of devouring his carcass, they were greatly +cast down, but) his reputation for enormous wealth dulled the eyes and +brains of the wretches, (and they were such cringing sycophants that they +dared not complain of the outrage in his hearing. One there was, +nevertheless, named) Gorgias, who was willing to comply, (provided he did +not have too long to wait! To this, Eumolpus made answer:) "I have no +fear that your stomach will turn, it will obey orders; if, for one hour +of nausea you promise it a plethora of good things: just shut your eyes +and pretend that it's not human guts you've bolted, but ten million +sesterces! And beside, we will find some condiment which will disguise +the taste! No flesh is palatable of itself, it must be seasoned by art +and reconciled to the unwilling stomach. And, if you desire to fortify +the plan by precedents, the Saguntines ate human flesh when besieged by +Hannibal, and they had no legacy in prospect! In stress of famine, the +inhabitants of Petelia did the same and gained nothing from the diet +except that they were not hungry! When Numantia was taken by Scipio, +mothers, with the half-eaten bodies of their babes in their bosoms, were +found! (Therefore, since it is only the thought of eating human flesh +that makes you squeamish, you must try to overcome your aversion, with +all your heart, so that you may come into the immense legacies I have put +you down for!" So carelessly did Eumolpus reel off these extravagances +that the fortune-hunters began to lose faith in the validity of his +promises and subjected our words and actions to a closer scrutiny +immediately; their suspicions grew with their experience and they came +to the conclusion that we were out and out grafters, and thereupon those +who had been put to the greatest expense for our entertainment resolved +to seize us and take it out in just revenge; but Chrysis, who was privy +to all their scheming, informed me of the designs which the Crotonians +had hatched; and when I heard this news, I was so terrified that I fled +instantly, with Giton, and left Eumolpus to his fate. I learned, a few +days later, that the Crotonians, furious because the old fox had lived +so long and so sumptuously at the public expense, had put him to death +in the Massilian manner. That you may comprehend what this means, know +that) whenever the Massilians were ravaged by the plague, one of the poor +would offer himself to be fed for a whole year upon choice food at public +charge; after which, decked out with olive branches and sacred vestments, +he was led out through the entire city, loaded with imprecations so that +he might take to himself the evils from which the city suffered, and then +thrown headlong (from the cliff.) + +THE END + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +Death levels caste and sufferers unites +Face, rouged and covered with cosmetics +For one hour of nausea you promise it a plethora of good things +In the arrogance of success, had put on the manner of the master +Live coals are more readily held in men's mouths than a secret +Putting as good a face upon the matter as I could +Rumor but grows in the telling and strives to embellish +Something in the way of hope at which to nibble +Stained by the lifeblood of the God of Wine +To follow all paths; but a road can discover by none +Whatever you talk of at home will fly forth in an instant + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Satyricon, Volume 5 (Crotona +Affairs), by Petronius Arbiter + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SATYRICON, VOLUME 5 *** + +***** This file should be named 5222.txt or 5222.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/5/2/2/5222/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c00ee29 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #5222 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/5222) diff --git a/old/pas5w10.txt b/old/pas5w10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b79e04c --- /dev/null +++ b/old/pas5w10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1439 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook The Satyricon of Petronius Arbiter, v5 +#5 in our series by Petronius Arbiter (Translated by Firebaugh) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers***** + + +Title: The Satyricon, v5 (Crotona Affairs) + +Author: Petronius Arbiter + +Release Date: March, 2004 [EBook #5222] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on June 8, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + + + + + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SATYRICON OF PETRONIUS, V5 *** + + + +This eBook was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + +[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the +file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an +entire meal of them. D.W.] + + + + + + THE SATYRICON OF + PETRONIUS ARBITER + + Complete and unexpurgated translation by W. C. Firebaugh, + in which are incorporated the forgeries of Nodot and Marchena, + and the readings introduced into the text by De Salas. + + +BRACKET CODE: + (Forgeries of Nodot) + [Forgeries of Marchena] + {Additions of De Salas} + DW + + +VOLUME 5.--AFFAIRS AT CROTONA + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIFTH. + +For a long time affairs at Crotona ran along in this manner and Eumolpus, +flushed with success so far forgot the former state of his fortunes that +he even bragged to his followers that no one could hold out against any +wish of his, and that any member of his suite who committed a crime +in that city would, through the influence of his friends, get off +unpunished. But, although I daily crammed my bloated carcass to +overflowing with good things, and began more and more to believe that +Fortune had turned away her face from keeping watch upon me, I frequently +meditated, nevertheless, upon my present state and upon its cause. +"Suppose," thought I, "some wily legacy hunter should dispatch an agent +to Africa and catch us in our lie? Or even suppose the hireling servant, +glutted with prosperity, should tip off his cronies or give the whole +scheme away out of spite? There would be nothing for it but flight and, +in a fresh state of destitution, a recalling of poverty which had been +driven off. Gods and goddesses, how ill it fares with those living +outside the law; they are always on the lookout for what is coming to +them!" (Turning these possibilities over in my mind I left the house, in +a state of black melancholy, hoping to revive my spirits in the fresh +air, but scarcely had I set foot upon the public promenade when a girl, +by no means homely, met me, and, calling me Polyaenos, the name I had +assumed since my metamorphosis, informed me that her mistress desired +leave to speak with me. "You must be mistaken," I answered, in +confusion, "I am only a servant and a stranger, and am by no means worthy +of such an honor.") + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SIXTH. + +("You yourself," she replied, "are the one to whom I was sent but,) +because you are well aware of your good looks, you are proud and sell +your favors instead of giving them. What else can those wavy well-combed +locks mean or that face, rouged and covered with cosmetics, or that +languishing, wanton expression in your eyes? Why that gait, so precise +that not a footstep deviates from its place, unless you wish to show off +your figure in order to sell your favors? Look at me, I know nothing +about omens and I don't study the heavens like the astrologers, but I can +read men's intentions in their faces and I know what a flirt is after +when I see him out for a stroll; so if you'll sell us what I want there's +a buyer ready, but if you will do the graceful thing and lend, let us be +under obligations to you for the favor. And as for your confession that +you are only a common servant, by that you only fan the passion of the +lady who burns for you, for some women will only kindle for canaille and +cannot work up an appetite unless they see some slave or runner with his +clothing girded up: a gladiator arouses one, or a mule-driver all covered +with dust, or some actor posturing in some exhibition on the stage. My +mistress belongs to this class, she jumps the fourteen rows from the +stage to the gallery and looks for a lover among the gallery gods at the +back." Puffed up with this delightful chatter. "Come now, confess, won't +you," I queried, "is this lady who loves me yourself?" The waiting maid +smiled broadly at this blunt speech. "Don't have such a high opinion of +yourself," said she, "I've never given in to any servant yet; the gods +forbid that I should ever throw my arms around a gallows-bird. Let the +married women see to that and kiss the marks of the scourge if they like: +I'll sit upon nothing below a knight, even if I am only a servant." I +could not help marveling, for my part, at such discordant passions, and I +thought it nothing short of a miracle that this servant should possess +the hauteur of the mistress and the mistress the low tastes of the wench! + + Each one will find what suits his taste, one thing is not for all, + One gathers roses as his share, another thorns enthrall. + +After a little more teasing, I requested the maid to conduct her mistress +to a clump of plane trees. Pleased with this plan, the girl picked up +the skirt of her garment and turned into a laurel grove that bordered the +path. After a short delay she brought her mistress from her hiding-place +and conducted her to my side; a woman more perfect than any statue. +There are no words with which to describe her form and anything I could +say would fall far short. Her hair, naturally wavy, flowed completely +over her shoulders; her forehead was low and the roots of her hair were +brushed back from it; her eyebrows, running from the very springs of her +cheeks, almost met at the boundary line between a pair of eyes brighter +than stars shining in a moonless night; her nose was slightly aquiline +and her mouth was such an one as Praxiteles dreamed Diana had. Her chin, +her neck, her hands, the gleaming whiteness of her feet under a slender +band of gold; she turned Parian marble dull! Then, for the first time, +Doris' tried lover thought lightly of Doris! + + Oh Jove, what's come to pass that thou, thine armor cast away + Art mute in heaven; and but an idle tale? + At such a time the horns should sprout, the raging bull hold sway, + Or they white hair beneath swan's down conceal + Here's Dana's self! But touch that lovely form + Thy limbs will melt beneath thy passions' storm! + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SEVENTH. + +She was delighted and so be witchingly did she smile that I seemed to see +the full moon showing her face from behind a cloud. Then, punctuating +her words with her fingers, "Dear boy, if you are not too critical to +enjoy a woman of wealth who has but this year known her first man, I +offer you a sister," said she. "You have a brother already, I know, for +I didn't disdain to ask, but what is to prevent your adopting a sister, +too? I will come in on the same footing only deem my kisses worthy of +recognition and caress me at your own pleasure!" "Rather let me implore +you by your beauty," I replied. "Do not scorn to admit an alien among +your worshipers: If you permit me to kneel before your shrine you will +find me a true votary and, that you may not think I approach this temple +of love without a gift, I make you a present of my brother!" "What," she +exclaimed, "would you really sacrifice the only one without whom you +could not live'? The one upon whose kisses your happiness depends. Him +whom you love as I would have you love me?" Such sweetness permeated her +voice as she said this, so entrancing was the sound upon the listening +air that you would have believed the Sirens' harmonies were floating in +the breeze. I was struck with wonder and dazzled by I know not what +light that shone upon me, brighter than the whole heaven, but I made +bold to inquire the name of my divinity. "Why, didn't my maid tell you +that I am called Circe?" she replied. "But I am not the sun-child nor +has my mother ever stayed the revolving world in its course at her +pleasure; but if the Fates bring us two together I will owe heaven a +favor. I don't know what it is, but some god's silent purpose is beneath +this. Circe loves not Polyaenos without some reason; a great torch is +always flaming when these names meet! Take me in your arms then, if you +will; there's no prying stranger to fear, and your 'brother' is far away +from this spot!" So saying, Circe clasped me in arms that were softer +than down and drew me to the ground which was covered with colored +flowers. + + With flowers like these did Mother Earth great Ida's summit strew + When Jupiter, his heart aflame, enjoyed his lawful love; + There glowed the rose, the flowering rush, the violet's deep blue, + From out green meadows snow-white lilies laughed. Then from above, + This setting summoned Venus to the green and tender sod, + Bright day smiled kindly on the secret amour of the God. + +Side by side upon the grassy plot we lay, exchanging a thousand kisses, +the prelude to more poignant pleasure, (but alas! My sudden loss of +vigor disappointed Circe!) + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT. + +(Infuriated at this affront,) "What's the matter," demanded she; "do my +kisses offend you? Is my breath fetid from fasting? Is there any evil +smelling perspiration in my armpits? Or, if it's nothing of this kind, +are you afraid of Giton?" Under her eyes, I flushed hotly and, if I had +any virility left, I lost it then; my whole body seemed to be inert. "My +queen," I cried, "do not mock me in my humiliation. I am bewitched!" +(Circe's anger was far from being appeased by such a trivial excuse; +turning her eyes contemptuously away from me, she looked at her maid,) +"Tell me, Chrysis, and tell me truly, is there anything repulsive about +me? Anything sluttish? Have I some natural blemish that disfigures my +beauty? Don't deceive your mistress! I don't know what's the matter +with us, but there must be something!" Then she snatched a mirror from +the silent maid and after scrutinizing all the looks and smiles which +pass between lovers, she shook out her wrinkled earth-stained robe and +flounced off into the temple of Venus (nearby.) And here was I, like a +convicted criminal who had seen some horrible nightmare, asking myself +whether the pleasure out of which I had been cheated was a reality or +only a dream. + + As when, in the sleep-bringing night + Dreams sport with the wandering eyes, + And earth, spaded up, yields to light + Her gold that by day she denies, + The stealthy hand snatches the spoils; + The face with cold sweat is suffused + And Fear grips him tight in her toils + Lest robbers the secret have used + And shake out the gold from his breast. + But, when they depart from his brain, + These enchantments by which he's obsessed, + And Truth comes again with her train + Restoring perspective and pain, + The phantasm lives to the last, + The mind dwells with shades of the past. + +(The misfortune seemed to me a dream, but I imagined that I must surely +be under a spell of enchantment and, for a long time, I was so devoid of +strength that I could not get to my feet. But finally my mental +depression began to abate, little by little my strength came back to me, +and I returned home: arrived there, I feigned illness and threw myself +upon my couch. A little late: Giton, who had heard of my indisposition, +entered the room in some concern. As I wished to relieve his mind I +informed him that I had merely sought my pallet to take a rest, telling +him much other gossip but not a word about my mishap as I stood in great +fear of his jealousy and, to lull any suspicion which he might entertain, +I drew him to my side and endeavoured to give him some proofs of my love +but all my panting and sweating were in vain. He jumped up in a rage and +accused my lack of virility and change of heart, declaring that he had +for a long time suspected that I had been expending my vigor and breath +elsewhere. "No! No! Darling," I replied, "my love for you has always +been the same, but reason prevails now over love and wantonness.") "And +for the Socratic continence of your love, I thank you in his name," (he +replied sarcastically,) "Alcibiades was never more spotless when he left +his master's bed!" + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-NINTH. + +"Believe me, 'brother,' when I tell you that I do not know whether I am a +man or not," (I vainly protested;) "I do not feel like one, if I am! +Dead and buried lies that part in which I was once an Achilles!" (Giton, +seeing that I was completely enervated, and) fearing that it might give +cause for scandal if he were caught in this quiet place with me, tore +himself away and fled into an inner part of the house. (He had just gone +when) Chrysis entered the room and handed me her mistress's tablets, in +which were written the following words: + + CIRCE TO POLYIENOS-GREETING. + + Were I a wanton, I should complain of my disappointment, but as it + is I am beholden to your impotence, for by it I dallied the longer + in the shadow of pleasure. Still, I would like to know how you are + and whether you got home upon your own legs, for the doctors say + that one cannot walk without nerves! Young man, I advise you to + beware of paralysis for I never in my life saw a patient in such + great danger; you're as good as dead, I'm sure! What if the same + numbness should attack your hands and knees? You would have to send + for the funeral trumpeters! Still, even if I have been affronted, + I will not begrudge a prescription to one as sick as you! Ask Giton + if you would like to recover. I am sure you will get back your + strength if you will sleep without your "brother" for three nights. + So far as I am concerned, I am not in the least alarmed about + finding someone to whom I shall be as pleasing as I was to you; my + mirror and my reputation do not lie. + + Farewell (if you can). + +"Such things will happen," said Chrysis, when she saw that I had read +through the entire inditement, "and especially in this city, where the +women can lure the moon from the sky! But we'll find a cure for your +trouble. Just return a diplomatic answer to my mistress and restore her +self-esteem by frank courtesy for, truth to tell, she has never been +herself from the minute she received that affront." I gladly followed +the maid's advice and wrote upon the tablets as follows: + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTIETH. + + POLYAENOS TO CIRCE--GREETING. + + Dear lady, I confess that I have often given cause for offense, for + I am only a man, and a young one, too, but I never committed a + deadly crime until today! You have my confession of guilt, I + deserve any punishment you may see fit to prescribe. I betrayed a + trust, I murdered a man, I violated a temple: demand my punishment + for these crimes. Should it be your pleasure to slay me I will come + to you with my sword; if you are content with a flogging I will run + naked to my mistress; only bear in mind that it was not myself but + my tools that failed me. I was a soldier, and ready, but I had no + arms. What threw me into such disorder I do not know, perhaps my + imagination outran my lagging body, by aspiring to too much it is + likely that I spent my pleasure in delay; I cannot imagine what the + trouble was. You bid me beware of paralysis; as if a disease which + prevented my enjoying you could grow worse! But my apology amounts + briefly to this; if you will grant me an opportunity of repairing my + fault, I will give you satisfaction. + Farewell + +After dismissing Chrysis with these fair promises, I paid careful +attention to my body which had so evilly served me and, omitting the +bath, I annointed myself, in moderation, with unguents and placed myself +upon a more strengthening diet such as onions and snail's heads without +condiments, and I also drank more sparingly of wine; then, taking a short +walk before settling down to sleep, I went to bed without Giton. So +anxious was I to please her that I feared the outcome if my "brother" lay +tickling my side. + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FIRST. + +Finding myself vigorous in mind and body when I arose next morning, I +went down to the same clump of plane trees, though I dreaded the spot as +one of evil omen, and commenced to wait for Chrysis to lead me on my way. +I took a short stroll and had just seated myself where I had sat the day +before, when she came under the trees, leading a little old woman by the +hand. "Well, Mr. Squeamish," she chirped, when she had greeted me, "have +you recovered your appetite?" In the meantime, the old hag: + + A wine-soaked crone with twitching lips + +brought out a twisted hank of different colored yarns and put it about my +neck; she then kneaded dust and spittle and, dipping her middle finger +into the mixture, she crossed my forehead with it, in spite of my +protests. + + As long as life remains, there's hope; + Thou rustic God, oh hear our prayer, + Great Priapus, I thee invoke, + Temper our arms to dare! + +When she had made an end of this incantation she ordered me to spit three +times, and three times to drop stones into my bosom, each stone she +wrapped up in purple after she had muttered charms over it; then, +directing her hands to my privates, she commenced to try out my virility. +Quicker than thought the nerves responded to the summons, filling the +crone's hand with an enormous erection! Skipping for joy, "Look, +Chrysis, look," she cried out, "see what a hare I've started, for someone +else to course!" (This done, the old lady handed me over to Chrysis, who +was greatly delighted at the recovery of her mistress's treasure; she +hastily conducted me straight to the latter, introducing me into a lovely +nook that nature had furnished with everything which could delight the +eye.) + + Shorn of its top, the swaying pine here casts a + summer shade + And quivering cypress, and the stately plane + And berry-laden laurel. A brook's wimpling waters strayed + Lashed into foam, but dancing on again + And rolling pebbles in their chattering flow. + 'Twas Love's own nook, + As forest nightingale and urban Procne undertook + To bear true witness; hovering, the gleaming grass above + And tender violets; wooing with song, their stolen love. + +Fanning herself with a branch of flowering myrtle, she lay, stretched out +with her marble neck resting upon a golden cushion. When she caught +sight of me she blushed faintly; she recalled yesterday's affront, I +suppose. At her invitation, I sat down by her side, as soon as the +others had gone; whereupon she put the branch of myrtle over my face and +emboldened, as if a wall had been raised between us, "Well, Mr. +Paralytic," she teased, "have you brought all of yourself along today?" +"Why ask me," I replied, "why not try me instead?" and throwing myself +bodily into her arms, I revelled in her kisses with no witchcraft to stop +me. + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-SECOND. + +The loveliness of her form drew me to her and summoned me to love. Our +lips were pressed together in a torrent of smacking kisses, our groping +hands had discovered every trick of excitation, and our bodies, clasped +in a mutual embrace, had fused our souls into one, (and then, in the very +midst of these ravishing preliminaries my nerves again played me false +and I was unable to last until the instant of supreme bliss.) Lashed to +fury by these inexcusable affronts, the lady at last ran to avenge +herself and, calling her house servants, she gave orders for me to be +hoisted upon their shoulders and flogged; then, still unsatisfied with +the drastic punishment she had inflicted upon me, she called all the +spinning women and scrubbing wenches in the house and ordered them to +spit upon me. I covered my face with my hands but I uttered no complaint +as I well knew what I deserved and, overwhelmed with blows and spittle, I +was driven from the house. Proselenos was kicked out too, Chrysis was +beaten, and all the slaves grumbled among themselves and wondered what +had upset their mistress's good humor. I took heart after having given +some thought to my misfortunes and, artfully concealing the marks of the +blows for fear that Eumolpus would make merry over my mishaps or, worse +yet, that Giton might be saddened by my disgrace, I did the only thing I +could do to save my self-respect, I pretended that I was sick and went to +bed. There, I turned the full fury of my resentment against that +recreant which had been the sole cause of all the evil accidents which +had befallen me. + + Three times I grasped the two-edged blade + The recreant to cut away; + Three times by Fear my hand was stayed + And palsied Terror said me nay + That which I might have done before + 'Twas now impossible to do; + For, cold with Fear, the wretch withdrew + Into a thousand-wrinkled mare, + And shrank in shame before my gaze + Nor would his head uncover more. + But though the scamp in terror skulked, + With words I flayed him as he sulked. + +Raising myself upon my elbow I rebuked the shirker in some such terms as +these: "What have you to say for yourself, you disgrace to gods and men," +I demanded, "for your name must never be mentioned among refined people. +Did I deserve to be lifted up to heaven and then dragged down to hell by +you? Was it right for you to slander my flourishing and vigorous years +and land me in the shadows and lassitude of decrepit old age? Give me +some sign, however faint, I beg of you, that you have returned to life!" +I vented my anger in words such as these. + + His eyes were fixed, and with averted look + He stood, less moved by any word of mine + Than weeping willows bending o'er a brook + Or drooping poppies as at noon they pine. + +When I had made an end of this invective, so out of keeping with good +taste, I began to do penance for my soliloquy and blushed furtively +because I had so far forgotten my modesty as to invoke in words that part +of my body which men of dignity do not even recognize. Then, rubbing my +forehead for a long time, "Why have I committed an indiscretion in +relieving my resentment by natural abuse," I mused, "what does it amount +to? Are we not accustomed to swear at every member of the human body, +the belly, throat, or even the head when it aches, as it often does? Did +not Ulysses wrangle with his own heart? Do not the tragedians 'Damn +their eyes' just as if they could hear? + +"Gouty patients swear at their feet, rheumatics at their hands, +blear-eyed +people at their eyes, and do not those who often stub their toes blame +their feet for all their pain? + + "Why will our Catos with their frowning brows + Condemn a work of fresh simplicity'? + A cheerful kindness my pure speech endows; + What people do, I write, to my capacity. + For who knows not the pleasures Venus gives? + Who will not in a warm bed tease his members? + Great Epicurus taught a truth that lives; + Love and enjoy life! All the rest is embers. + +"Nothing can be more insincere than the silly prejudices of mankind, and +nothing sillier than the morality of bigotry," + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-THIRD. + +I called Giton when I had finished my meditation: "Tell me, little +brother," I demanded, "tell me, on your honor: Did Ascyltos stay awake +until he had exacted his will of you, the night he stole you away from +me? Or was he content to spend the night like a chaste widow?" Wiping +his eyes the lad, in carefully chosen words took oath that Ascyltos had +used no force against him. (The truth of the matter is, that I was so +distraught with my own misfortunes that I knew not what I was saying. +"Why recall past memories which can only cause pain," said I to myself. +I then directed all my energies towards the recovery of my lost manhood. +To achieve this I was ready even to devote myself to the gods; +accordingly, I went out to invoke the aid of Priapus.) {Putting as good a +face upon the matter as I could} I knelt upon the threshold of his shrine +and invoked the God in the following verses: + + "Of Bacchus and the nymphs, companion boon, + Whom fair Dione set o'er forests wide + As God: whom Lesbos and green Thasos own + For deity, whom Lydians, far and wide + Adore through all the seasons of the year; + Whose temple in his own Hypaepa placed, + Thou Dryad's joy and Bacchus', hear my prayer! + To thee I come, by no dark blood disgraced, + No shrine, in wicked lust have I profaned; + When I was poor and worn with want, I sinned + Not by intent, a pauper's sin's not banned + As of another! Unto thee I pray + Lift thou the load from off my tortured mind, + Forgive a light offense! When fortune smiles + I'll not thy glory shun and leave behind + Thy worship! Unto thee, a goat that feels + His primest vigor, father of the flocks + Shall come! And suckling pigs, the tender young + Of some fine grunting sow! New wine, in crocks + Shall foam! Thy grateful praises shall be sung + By youths who thrice shall dance around thy shrine + Happy, in youth and full of this year's wine!" + +While I was engaged in this diplomatic effort in behalf of the affected +member, a hideous crone with disheveled hair, and clad in black garments +which were in great disorder, entered the shrine and, laying hands upon +me, led me {thoroughly frightened,} out into the portico. + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FOURTH. + +"What witches" (she cried,) "have devoured your manhood? What filth did +you tread upon at some crossroads, in the dark? Not even by the boy +could you do your duty but, weak and effeminate, you are worn out like a +cart-horse at a hill, you have lost both labor and sweat! Not content +with getting yourself into trouble, you have stirred up the wrath of the +gods against me {and I will make you smart for it."} She then led me, +unresisting, back into the priestess's room, pushed me down upon the bed, +snatched a cane that hung upon the door, and gave me another thrashing: +I remained silent and, had the cane not splintered at the first stroke, +thereby diminishing the force of the blow, she might easily have broken +my arms or my head. I groaned dismally, and especially when she +manipulated my member and, shedding a flood of tears, I covered my head +with my right arm and huddled down upon the pillow. Nor did she weep +less bitterly: + +The sailor, naked from his foundered barque, +Some shipwrecked mariner seeks out to hear his woe; +When hail beats down a farmer's crop, his cark +Seeks consolation from another, too. +Death levels caste and sufferers unites, +And weeping parents are as one in grief; +We also will beseech the starry heights, +United prayers climb best, is the belief. + +She seated herself upon the other side of the bed and in quavering tones +commenced to accuse the delays of old age. At last the priestess came +in. "Why," she cried, "what has brought you into my cell as if you were +visiting a newly made grave? And on a feast-day, too, when even mourners +ought to smile!" "OEnothea," the old hag replied, "this young man here +was born under an unlucky star: he can't dispose of his goods to either +boy or girl. Such an unfortunate fellow you never saw. He has no tool +at all, only a piece of leather soaked in water! I wish you would tell +me what you think of a man who could get up from Circe's bed without +having tasted pleasure!" On hearing these words, OEnothea sat down +between us and, after shaking her head for a while, "I'm the only one +that knows how to cure that disease," said she, "and for fear you think +I'm talking to hear myself talk, I'll just have the young fellow sleep +with me for a night, and if I don't make it as hard as horn! + + All that you see in the world must give heed to my mandates; + + Blossoming earth, when I will it, must languish, a desert.' + + Riches pour forth, when I will it, from crags and grim boulders + + Waters will spurt that will rival the Nile at its flooding + + Seas calm their billows before me, gales silence their howlings, + + Hearing my step! And the rivers sink into their channels; + + Dragons, Hyrcanian tigers stand fast at my bidding! + + Why should I tell you of small things? The image of Luna + + Drawn by my spells must descend, and Apollo, atremble + + Backs up his horses and turns from his course at my order! + + Such is the power of my word! By the rites of a virgin + + Quenched is the raging of bulls; and the sun's daughter Circe + + Changed and transfigured the crew of the wily Ulysses. + + Proteus changes his form when his good pleasure dictates, + + I, who am skilled in these arts, can the shrubs of Mount Ida + + Plant in the ocean; turn rivers to flow up the mountains!" + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FIFTH. + +At this declaration, which was so awe-inspiring, I shuddered in terror, +and commenced to scrutinize the crone more narrowly. "Come now," said +OEnothea, "obey my orders," and, carefully wiping her hands, she bent +over the cot and kissed me, once, twice! On the middle of the altar +OEnothea placed an old table, upon which she heaped live coals, then with +melted pitch she repaired a goblet which had become cracked through age. +Next she replaced, in the smoke-stained wall, a peg which had come out +when she took down the wooden goblet. Then, having donned a mantle, in +the shape of a piece of square-cut cloth, she set a huge kettle upon the +hearth and at the same time speared with a fork a cloth hanging upon the +meathooks, and lifted it down. It contained some beans which had been +laid away for future use, and a very small and stale piece of pig's +cheek, scored with a thousand slashes. When she had untied the string +which fastened the cloth, she poured some of the beans upon the table and +ordered me to shell them quickly and carefully. I obey her mandate and +with careful fingers separate the beans from the filthy pods which +contain them; but she, accusing my clumsiness, hastily snatched them and, +skillfully tearing off the pods with her teeth, spat them upon the +ground, where they looked like dead flies. I wondered, then, at the +ingenuity of poverty and its expedients for emergency. (So ardent a +follower of this virtue did the priestess seem that it was reflected in +everything around her. Her dwelling, in particular, was a very shrine of +poverty.) + + No Indian ivory set in gold gleamed here, + No trodden marble glistened here; no earth + Mocked for its gifts; but Ceres' festive grove: + With willow wickerwork 'twas set around, + New cups of clay by revolutions shaped + Of lowly wheel. For honey soft, a bowl; + Platters of green bark wickerwork, a jar + Stained by the lifeblood of the God of Wine; + The walls around with chaff and spattered clay + Were covered. Flanging from protruding nails + Were slender stalks of the green rush; and then + Suspended from the smoky beam, the stores + Of this poor cottage. Service berries soft, + Entwined in fragrant wreaths hung down, + Dried savory and raisins by the bunch. + An hostess here like she on Attic soil, + Of Hecate's pure worship worthy she! + Whose fame Kallimachos so grandly sang + 'Twill live forever through the speaking years. + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-SIXTH. + +In the meantime, (having shelled the beans,) she took a mouthful of the +meat and with the fork was replacing the pig's cheek, which was coeval +with herself, upon the meat-hook, when the rotten stool, which she was +using to augment her height, broke down under the old lady's weight and +let her fall upon the hearth. The neck of the pot was broken, putting +out the fire, which was just getting a good start, her elbow was burned +by a flaming brand, and her whole face was covered by the ashes raised by +her fall. I jumped up in dismay and, not without laughing, helped the +old lady to her feet. She hastily scurried out into the neighborhood to +replenish the fire, for fear anything should delay the sacrifice. I was +on my way to the door of the cell when lo! and behold! three sacred geese +which were accustomed, I suppose, to demand their feed from the old woman +at midday, made a rush at me and, surrounding me, made me nervous with +their abominable rabid cackling. One tore at my tunic, another undid the +lacings of my sandals and tugged at them, but one in particular, the +ringleader and moving spirit of this savage attack, did not hesitate to +worry at my leg with his serrated bill. Unable to see the joke, I +twisted off one of the legs of the little table and, thus armed, began to +belabor the pugnacious brute. Nor did I rest content with a light blow, +I avenged myself by the death of the goose. + + 'Twas thus, I ween, the birds of Stymphalus + To heaven fled, by Herakles impelled; + The Harpies, too, whose reeking pinions held + That poison which the feast of Phineus + Contaminated. All the air above + With their unwonted lamentations shook, + The heavens in uproar and confusion move + {The Stars, in dread, their orbits then forsook!} + +By this time the two remaining geese had picked up the beans which had +been scattered all over the floor and bereft, I suppose, of their leader, +had gone back into the temple; and I, well content with my revenge and my +booty, threw the dead goose behind the cot and bathed the trifling wound +in my leg with vinegar: then, fearing a scolding, I made up my mind to +run away and, collecting together all my belongings, started to leave the +house. I had not yet stepped over the threshold of the cell, however, +when I caught sight of OEnothea returning with an earthen vessel full of +live coals. Thereupon I retraced my steps and, throwing off my garments, +I took my stand just inside the door, as if I were awaiting her return. +She banked her fire with broken reeds, piled some pieces of wood on top, +and began to excuse her delay on the ground that her friend would not +permit her to leave until after the customary three drinks had been +taken. "But what were you up to in my absence?" she demanded. "Where +are the beans?" Thinking that I had done a thing worthy of all praise, I +informed her of the battle in all its details and, that she might not be +downcast any longer, I produced the dead goose in payment for her loss. +When the old lady laid eyes upon that, she raised such a clamor that you +would have thought that the geese had invaded the room again. Confounded +and thunderstruck at the novelty of my crime, I asked her why she was so +angry and why she pitied the goose rather than myself. + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVENTH. + +But, beating her palms together, "You villain, are you so brazen that you +can speak?" she shrieked. "Don't you know what a serious crime you've +committed? You have slaughtered the delight of Priapus, a goose, the +very darling of married women! And for fear you think that nothing +serious has happened, if the magistrates find this out you'll go to the +cross! Until this day my dwelling has been inviolate and you have +polluted it with blood! You have conducted yourself in such a manner +that any enemy I have can turn me out of the priesthood!" + + She spoke, and from her trembling head she tore the snow-white hair, + And scratched her cheeks: her eyes shed floods of tears. + As when a torrent headlong rushes down the valleys drear, + Its icy fetters gone when Sprint appears, + And strikes the frozen shackles from rejuvenated earth + So down her face the tears in torrents swept + And wracking sobs convulsed her as she wept. + +"Please don't make such a fuss," I said, "I'll give you an ostrich in +place of your goose!" While she sat upon the cot and, to my +stupefaction, bewailed the death of the goose, Proselenos came in with +the materials for the sacrifice. Seeing the dead goose and inquiring the +cause of her grief, she herself commenced to weep more violently still +and to commiserate me, as if I had slain my own father, instead of a +public goose. Growing tired of this nonsense at last, "See here," +said I, "could I not purchase immunity for a price, even though I had +assaulted you'? Even though I had murdered a man? Look here! I'm +laying down two gold pieces, you can buy both gods and geese with them!" +"Forgive me, young man," said OEnothea, when she caught sight of the +gold, "I am anxious upon your account; that is a proof of love, not of +malignity. Let us take such precautions that not a soul will find this +out. As for you, pray to the gods to forgive your sacrilege!" + + The rich man can sail in a favoring gale + And snap out his course at his pleasure; + A Dance espouse, no Acrisius will rail, + His credence by hers he will measure; + Write verse, or declaim; snap the finger of scorn + At the world, yet still win all his cases, + The rabble will drink in his words with concern + When a Cato austere it displaces. + At law, his "not proven," or "proved," he can have + With Servius or Labeo vieing; + With gold at command anything he may crave + Is his without asking or sighing. + The universe bows at his slightest behest, + For Jove is a prisoner in his treasure chest. + +In the meantime, she scurried around and put a jar of wine under my hands +and, when my fingers had all been spread out evenly, she purified them +with leeks and parsley. Then, muttering incantations, she threw +hazel-nuts into the wine and drew her conclusions as they sank or +floated; but she did not hoodwink me, for those with empty shells, no +kernel and full of air, would of course float, while those that were +heavy and full of sound kernel would sink to the bottom. {She then +turned her attention to the goose,} and, cutting open the breast, she +drew out a very fat liver from which she foretold my future. Then, for +fear any trace of the crime should remain, she cut the whole goose up, +stuck the pieces upon spits, and served up a very delectable dinner for +me, whom, but a moment before, she had herself condemned to death, in +her own words! Meanwhile, cups of unmixed wine went merrily around (and +the crones greedily devoured the goose which they had but so lately +lamented. When the last morsel had disappeared, OEnothea, half-drunk by +this time, looked at me and said, "We must now go through with the +mysteries, so that you may get back your virility.") + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-EIGHTH. + +(As she said this OEnothea brought) out a leathern dildo which, when she +had smeared it with oil, ground pepper, and pounded nettle seed, she +commenced to force, little by little, up my anus. The merciless old +virago then anointed the insides of my thighs with the same decoction; +finally mixing nasturtium juice with elixir of southern wood, she gave my +genitals a bath and, picking up a bunch of green nettles, she commenced +to strike me gently all over my belly below the navel. {The nettles stung +me horribly and I suddenly took to my heels, with the old hags in full +pursuit.} Although they were befuddled with wine and lust they followed +the right road and chased me through several wards, screaming "Stop +thief." I made good my escape, however, although every toe was bleeding +as the result of my headlong flight. (I got home as quickly as I could +and, worn out with fatigue, I sought my couch, but I could not snatch a +wink of sleep for the evil adventures which had befallen me kept running +through my brain and, brooding upon them, I came to the conclusion that +no one could be so abjectly unfortunate. "Has Fortune, always inimical +to me, stood in need of the pangs of love, that she might torture me more +cruelly still," I cried out; "unhappy wretch that I am! Fortune and Love +have joined forces to bring about my ruin. Cruel Eros himself had never +dealt leniently with me, loved or lover I am put to the torture! Take +the case of Chrysis: she loves me desperately, never leaves off teasing +me, she who despised me as a servant, because, when she was acting as her +mistress's go-between, I was dressed in the garments of a slave: she, I +say) that same Chrysis, who looked with contempt upon your former lowly +lot, is now bent upon following it up even at the peril of her life; (she +swore that she would never leave my side on the day when she told me of +the violence of her passion: but Circe owns me, heart and soul, all +others I despise. Who could be lovelier than she?) What loveliness +had Ariadne or Leda to compare with hers? What had Helen to compare with +her, what has Venus? If Paris himself had seen her with her dancing +eyes, when he acted as umpire for the quarreling goddesses, he would have +given up Helen and the goddesses for her! If I could only steal a kiss, +if only I might put my arms around that divine, that heavenly bosom, +perhaps the virility would come back to this body and the parts, flaccid +from witchcraft would, I believe, come into their own. Contempt cannot +tire me out: what if I was flogged; I will forget it! What if I was +thrown out! I will treat it as a joke! Only let me be restored to her +good graces! + + At rest on my pallet, night's silence had scarce settled down + + To soothe me, and eyes heavy-laden with slumber to lull + + When torturing Amor laid hold of me, seizing my hair + + And dragging me, wounding me, ordered a vigil till dawn. + + 'Oh heart of stone, how canst thou lie here alone?' said the God, + + 'Thou joy of a thousand sweet mistresses, how, oh my slave?' + + In disarrayed nightrobe I leap to bare feet and essay + + To follow all paths; but a road can discover by none. + + One moment I hasten; the next it is torture to move, + + It irks me again to turn back, shame forbids me to halt + + And stand in the midst of the road. Lo! the voices of men, + + The roar of the streets, and the songs of the birds, and the bark + + Of vigilant watch-dogs are hushed! Alone, I of all + + Society dread both my slumber and couch, and obey + + Great Lord of the Passions, thy mandate which on me was laid." + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-NINTH. + +(Such thoughts as these, of lovely Circe's charms so wrought upon my mind +that) I disordered my bed by embracing the image, as it were, of my +mistress, (but my efforts were all wasted.) This obstinate (affliction +finally wore out my patience, and I cursed the hostile deity by whom I +was bewitched. I soon recovered my composure, however, and, deriving +some consolation from thinking of the heroes of old, who had been +persecuted by the anger of the gods, I broke out in these lines:) + + Hostile gods and implacable rate not me alone pursue; + + Herakles once suffered the weight of heaven's displeasure too + + Driven from the Inachian coast: Laomedon of old + + Sated two of the heavenly host: in Pelias, behold + + Juno's power to avenge an affront; and Telephus took arms + + Knowing not he must bear the brunt; Ulysses feared the storms + + Angry Neptune decreed as his due. Now, me to overwhelm + + Outraged Priapus ever pursues on land and Nereus' realm. + +(Tortured by these cares I spent the whole night in anxiety, and at dawn, +Giton, who had found out that I had slept at home, entered the room and +bitterly accused me of leading a licentious life; he said that the whole +household was greatly concerned at what I had been doing, that I was so +rarely present to attend to my duties, and that the intrigue in which I +was engaged would very likely bring about my ruin. I gathered from this +that he had been well informed as to my affairs, and that someone had +been to the house inquiring for me. Thereupon,) I began to ply Giton +with questions as to whether anyone had made inquiry for me; "Not today," +he replied, "but yesterday a woman came in at the door, not bad looking, +either, and after talking to me for quite a while, and wearing me out +with her far-fetched conversation, finally ended by saying that you +deserved punishment, and that you would receive the scourging of a slave +if the injured party pressed his complaint." (This news afflicted me so +bitterly that I levelled fresh recriminations against Fortune, and) I had +not yet finished grumbling when Chrysis came in and, throwing herself +upon me, embraced me passionately. "I have you," she cried, "just as I +hoped I would; you are my heart's desire, my joy, you can never put out +this flame of mine unless you quench it in my blood!" (I was greatly +embarrassed by this wantonness of Chrysis and had recourse to flattery +in order that I might rid myself of her, as I feared that her passionate +outcries would reach the ears of Eumolpus who, in the arrogance of +success, had put on the manner of the master. So on this account, I did +everything I could think of to calm Chrysis. I feigned love, whispered +compliments, in short, so skillfully did I dissimulate that she believed +I was Love's own captive. I showed her what pressing peril overhung us +should she be caught in that room with me, as Eumolpus was only too ready +to punish the slightest offense. On hearing this, she left me hurriedly, +and all the more quickly, as she caught sight of Giton, who had only left +me a little before she had come in, on his way to my room. She was +scarcely gone when) one of the newly engaged servants rushed in and +informed me that the master was furiously angry with me because of my two +days' absence from duty; I would do well, therefore, to prepare some +plausible excuse, as it was not likely that his angry passion would be +placated until someone had been flogged. (Seeing that I was so vexed and +disheartened, Giton said not a word about the woman, contenting himself +with speaking of Eumolpus, and advising me that it would be better to +joke with him than to treat the matter seriously. I followed this lead +and appeared before the old fellow, with so merry a countenance that, +instead of showing severity, he received me with good humor and rallied +me upon the success of my love affairs, praising the elegance of my +figure which made me such a favorite with the ladies. "I know very +well," he went on, "that a lovely woman is dying for love of you, +Encolpius, and this may come in handy for us, so play your part and I'll +play mine, too!") + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND FORTIETH. + +(He was still speaking, when in came a) matron of the most exclusive +social set, Philumene by name, who had often, when young, extorted many +a legacy by means of her charms, but an old woman now, the flower of her +beauty faded, she threw her son and daughter in the way of childless old +men and through this substitution she contrived to continue her +established policy. She came to Eumolpus, both to commend her children +to his practical judgment and to entrust herself and her hopes to his +good nature, he being the only one in all the world who could daily +instruct young children in healthy precepts. In short, she left her +children in Eumolpus' house in order that they might hear the words that +dropped from his lips, as this was the only legacy she could leave to +them. Nor did she do otherwise than as she had promised, but left in +his bed chamber a very beautiful daughter and her brother, a lad, and +pretended that she herself was compelled to go out to a temple to offer +up her vows. Eumolpus, who was so continent that even I was a boy in his +eyes, lost no time in inviting the damsel to sacrifice to the Aversa +Venus; but, as he had told everyone that he was gouty and that his back +was weak, and as he stood in danger of upsetting the whole farce if he +did not carefully live up to the pretence, he therefore, that the +imposture might be kept up, prevailed upon the young lady to seat herself +upon that goodness which had been commended to her, and ordered Corax to +crawl under the bed upon which he himself was lying and after bracing +himself by putting his hands upon the floor, to hoist his master up and +down with his own back. Corax carried out the order in full and +skillfully seconded the wriggling of the girl with a corresponding +seesaw. Then, when the crisis was about due, Eumolpus, in a ringing +voice, called out to Corax to increase the cadence. And thus the old +lecher, suspended between his servant and his mistress, enjoyed himself +just as if he were in a swing. Time and again Eumolpus repeated this +performance, to the accompaniment of ringing laughter in which he himself +joined. At last, fearing I might lose an opportunity through lack of +application, I also made advances to the brother who was enjoying the +gymnastics of his sister through the keyhole, to see if he would prove +amenable to assault. Nor did this well trained lad reject my advances; +but alas! I discovered that the God was still my enemy. (However, I was +not so blue over this failure as I had been over those before, and my +virility returned a little later and, suddenly finding myself in better +fettle I cried out,) "Great are the gods who have made me whole again! +In his loving kindness, Mercury, who conducts and reconducts the souls, +has restored to me that which a hostile hand had cut away. Look! You +will find that I am more graciously endowed than was Protestilaus or any +other of the heroes of old!" So saying, I lifted up my tunic and showed +Eumolpus that I was whole. At first he was startled, then, that he might +believe his own eyes, he handled this pledge of the good will of the gods +with both hands. (Our good humor was revived by this blessing and we +laughed at the diplomacy of Philumene and at the skill with which her +children plied their calling, little likely to profit them much with us, +however, as it was only in hopes of coming into a legacy that she had +abandoned the boy and girl to us. Meditating upon this unscrupulous +method of getting around childless old men, I began to take thought of +the present state of our own affairs and made use of the occasion to warn +Eumolpus that he might be bitten in biting the biters. "Everything that +we do," I said, "should be dictated by Prudence.) Socrates, {whose +judgment was riper than that} of the gods or of men used to boast that he +had never looked into a tavern nor believed the evidence of his own eyes +in any crowded assembly which was disorderly: so nothing is more in +keeping than always conversing with wisdom. + + Live coals are more readily held in men's mouths than a secret! + + Whatever you talk of at home will fly forth in an instant, + + Become a swift rumor and beat at the walls of your city. + + Nor is it enough that your confidence thus has been broken, + + As rumor but grows in the telling and strives to embellish. + + The covetous servant who feared to make public his knowledge + + A hole in the ground dug, and therein did whisper his secret + + That told of a king's hidden ears: this the earth straightway + echoed, + + And rustling reeds added that Midas was king in the story. + +Every word of this is true," I insisted, "and no one deserves to get into +trouble more quickly than he who covets the goods of others! How could +cheats and swindlers live unless they threw purses or little bags +clinking with money into the crowd for bait? Just as dumb brutes are +enticed by food, human beings are not to be caught unless they have +something in the way of hope at which to nibble! (That was the reason +that the Crotonians gave us such a satisfactory reception, but) the ship +does not arrive, from Africa, with your money and your slaves, as you +promised. The patience of the fortune-hunters is worn out and they have +already cut down their liberality so that, either I am mistaken, or else +our usual luck is about to return to punish you!" + + + + +CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-FIRST. + +("I have thought up a scheme," replied Eumolpus, "which will embarrass +our fortune-hunting friends sorely," and as he said this, he drew his +tablets from his wallet and read his last wishes aloud, as follows:) +"All who are down for legacies under my will, my freedmen only excepted, +shall come into what I bequeath them subject to this condition, that they +do cut my body into pieces and devour said pieces in sight of the crowd: +{nor need they be inordinately shocked} for among some peoples, the law +ordaining that the dead shall be devoured by their relatives is still in +force; nay, even the sick are often abused because they render their own +flesh worse! I admonish my friends, by these presents, lest they refuse +what I command, that they devour my carcass with as great relish as they +damned my soul!" (Eumolpus had just started reading the first clauses +when several of his most intimate friends entered the room and catching +sight of the tablets in his hand in which was contained his last will and +testament, besought him earnestly to permit them to hear the contents. +He consented immediately and read the entire instrument from first to +last. But when they had heard that extraordinary stipulation by which +they were under the necessity of devouring his carcass, they were greatly +cast down, but) his reputation for enormous wealth dulled the eyes and +brains of the wretches, (and they were such cringing sycophants that they +dared not complain of the outrage in his hearing. One there was, +nevertheless, named) Gorgias, who was willing to comply, (provided he did +not have too long to wait! To this, Eumolpus made answer:) "I have no +fear that your stomach will turn, it will obey orders; if, for one hour +of nausea you promise it a plethora of good things: just shut your eyes +and pretend that it's not human guts you've bolted, but ten million +sesterces! And beside, we will find some condiment which will disguise +the taste! No flesh is palatable of itself, it must be seasoned by art +and reconciled to the unwilling stomach. And, if you desire to fortify +the plan by precedents, the Saguntines ate human flesh when besieged by +Hannibal, and they had no legacy in prospect! In stress of famine, the +inhabitants of Petelia did the same and gained nothing from the diet +except that they were not hungry! When Numantia was taken by Scipio, +mothers, with the half-eaten bodies of their babes in their bosoms, were +found! (Therefore, since it is only the thought of eating human flesh +that makes you squeamish, you must try to overcome your aversion, with +all your heart, so that you may come into the immense legacies I have put +you down for!" So carelessly did Eumolpus reel off these extravagances +that the fortune-hunters began to lose faith in the validity of his +promises and subjected our words and actions to a closer scrutiny +immediately; their suspicions grew with their experience and they came +to the conclusion that we were out and out grafters, and thereupon those +who had been put to the greatest expense for our entertainment resolved +to seize us and take it out in just revenge; but Chrysis, who was privy +to all their scheming, informed me of the designs which the Crotonians +had hatched; and when I heard this news, I was so terrified that I fled +instantly, with Giton, and left Eumolpus to his fate. I learned, a few +days later, that the Crotonians, furious because the old fox had lived +so long and so sumptuously at the public expense, had put him to death +in the Massilian manner. That you may comprehend what this means, know +that) whenever the Massilians were ravaged by the plague, one of the poor +would offer himself to be fed for a whole year upon choice food at public +charge; after which, decked out with olive branches and sacred vestments, +he was led out through the entire city, loaded with imprecations so that +he might take to himself the evils from which the city suffered, and then +thrown headlong (from the cliff.) + +THE END + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +Death levels caste and sufferers unites +Face, rouged and covered with cosmetics +For one hour of nausea you promise it a plethora of good things +In the arrogance of success, had put on the manner of the master +Live coals are more readily held in men's mouths than a secret +Putting as good a face upon the matter as I could +Rumor but grows in the telling and strives to embellish +Something in the way of hope at which to nibble +Stained by the lifeblood of the God of Wine +To follow all paths; but a road can discover by none +Whatever you talk of at home will fly forth in an instant + + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SATYRICON OF PETRONIUS, V5 *** + +******* This file should be named pas5w10.txt or pas5w10.zip ******** + +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, pas5w11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, pas5w10a.txt + +This eBook was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS*Ver.02/11/02*END* + diff --git a/old/pas5w10.zip b/old/pas5w10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c0fdc26 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/pas5w10.zip diff --git a/old/pas5w10h.html b/old/pas5w10h.html new file mode 100644 index 0000000..569999f --- /dev/null +++ b/old/pas5w10h.html @@ -0,0 +1,1577 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<html> +<head> +<title>THE SATYRICON</title> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"> +<style type="text/css"> +<!-- +body {background:#faebd7; margin:10%; text-align:justify} +h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 {color:brown} +blockquote {font:smaller} +P {font-size:"14pt"} +p.poem {text-align:center} +p.external {font:bold} +--> +</style> +</head> +<body> + + +<h2>THE SATYRICON of Petronius, Illustrated, v5</h2> +<pre> +The Project Gutenberg EBook The Satyricon of Petronius, Illustrated, v5 +#5 in our series by Petronius Arbiter (Translated by Firebaugh) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers***** + + +Title: The Satyricon, Illustrated, Volume 5. + +Author: Petronius Arbiter + + +Release Date: March, 2004 [Etext #5222] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on June 8, 2002] +[This file was last updated on October 10, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + + + + + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SATYRICON, V5 *** + + + + +This eBook was produced by David Widger [widger@cecomet.net] + +</pre> +<br><hr> +<br><br><br><br><br><br> + +<center> +<h1> + <a name="PREFACE">THE SATYRICON OF</a> +<br> PETRONIUS ARBITER +</h1> +</center> + +<br> +<br> + <center><h3>Volume 5.</h3></center> + +<br> +<br> +<center> +<a name="bookspine"></a><img alt="bookspine.jpg (92K)" src="bookspine.jpg" height="1182" width="650"> +</center> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> + + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p><i>Complete and unexpurgated translation by W. C. Firebaugh, +in which are incorporated the forgeries of Nodot and Marchena, +and the readings introduced into the text by De Salas.</i></blockquote> +</blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<center> +<a name="pfront"></a><img alt="pfront.jpg (108K)" src="pfront.jpg" height="829" width="599"> +</center> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> + +<br> +<br> +<h2>ILLUSTRATIONS:</h2> +<blockquote><blockquote> + +<p><a href="#p306">Chrysis</a> +<p><a href="#p310">Circe</a> +<p><a href="#p314">Circe and Encolpius</a> +<p><a href="#p322">Circe Enraged</a> +<p><a href="#p330">The Priestess' Revenge</a> +<p><a href="#p334">Proselenos</a> +<p><a href="#p342">Encolpius Beaten</a> +<p><a href="#p350">Encolpius and Chrysis</a> +<p><a href="#p360">On the Road</a> +</blockquote></blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center> + <h1><a name="THE SATYRICON"></a>THE SATYRICON OF</h1> + <h1>PETRONIUS ARBITER</h1> +</center> + +<br> +<br> + <center><h3>Volume 5.</h3></center> +<br> +<br> +<br> + + +<blockquote> +<p><i><b>BRACKET CODE:</b></i></p> +<p><i>(Forgeries of Nodot)</i></p> +<p><i>[Forgeries of Marchena]</i></p> +<p><i>{Additions of De Salas}</i></p> +<p><i> DW</i></p> +</blockquote> + +<br> +<br> +<br> + + + + + + +<center> +<a name="VOLUME V."></a><h1>VOLUME V.</h1> +<h1>AFFAIRS AT CROTONA</h1> +</center> + +<br><br> +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIFTH. +</h2><br> +<p>For a long time affairs at Crotona ran along in this manner and Eumolpus, +flushed with success so far forgot the former state of his fortunes that +he even bragged to his followers that no one could hold out against any +wish of his, and that any member of his suite who committed a crime +in that city would, through the influence of his friends, get off +unpunished. But, although I daily crammed my bloated carcass to +overflowing with good things, and began more and more to believe that +Fortune had turned away her face from keeping watch upon me, I frequently +meditated, nevertheless, upon my present state and upon its cause. +"Suppose," thought I, "some wily legacy hunter should dispatch an agent +to Africa and catch us in our lie? Or even suppose the hireling servant, +glutted with prosperity, should tip off his cronies or give the whole +scheme away out of spite? There would be nothing for it but flight and, +in a fresh state of destitution, a recalling of poverty which had been +driven off. Gods and goddesses, how ill it fares with those living +outside the law; they are always on the lookout for what is coming to +them!" (Turning these possibilities over in my mind I left the house, in +a state of black melancholy, hoping to revive my spirits in the fresh +air, but scarcely had I set foot upon the public promenade when a girl, +by no means homely, met me, and, calling me Polyaenos, the name I had +assumed since my metamorphosis, informed me that her mistress desired +leave to speak with me. "You must be mistaken," I answered, in +confusion, "I am only a servant and a stranger, and am by no means worthy +of such an honor.") + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p306"></a><img alt="p306.jpg (69K)" src="p306.jpg" height="941" width="541"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SIXTH. +</h2><br> +<p>("You yourself," she replied, "are the one to whom I was sent but,) +because you are well aware of your good looks, you are proud and sell +your favors instead of giving them. What else can those wavy well-combed +locks mean or that face, rouged and covered with cosmetics, or that +languishing, wanton expression in your eyes? Why that gait, so precise +that not a footstep deviates from its place, unless you wish to show off +your figure in order to sell your favors? Look at me, I know nothing +about omens and I don't study the heavens like the astrologers, but I can +read men's intentions in their faces and I know what a flirt is after +when I see him out for a stroll; so if you'll sell us what I want there's +a buyer ready, but if you will do the graceful thing and lend, let us be +under obligations to you for the favor. And as for your confession that +you are only a common servant, by that you only fan the passion of the +lady who burns for you, for some women will only kindle for canaille and +cannot work up an appetite unless they see some slave or runner with his +clothing girded up: a gladiator arouses one, or a mule-driver all covered +with dust, or some actor posturing in some exhibition on the stage. My +mistress belongs to this class, she jumps the fourteen rows from the +stage to the gallery and looks for a lover among the gallery gods at the +back." Puffed up with this delightful chatter. "Come now, confess, won't +you," I queried, "is this lady who loves me yourself?" The waiting maid +smiled broadly at this blunt speech. "Don't have such a high opinion of +yourself," said she, "I've never given in to any servant yet; the gods +forbid that I should ever throw my arms around a gallows-bird. Let the +married women see to that and kiss the marks of the scourge if they like: +I'll sit upon nothing below a knight, even if I am only a servant." I +could not help marveling, for my part, at such discordant passions, and I +thought it nothing short of a miracle that this servant should possess +the hauteur of the mistress and the mistress the low tastes of the wench! + +<blockquote> +<p> Each one will find what suits his taste, one thing is not for all, +<p> One gathers roses as his share, another thorns enthrall. +</blockquote> + +<p>After a little more teasing, I requested the maid to conduct her mistress +to a clump of plane trees. Pleased with this plan, the girl picked up +the skirt of her garment and turned into a laurel grove that bordered the +path. After a short delay she brought her mistress from her hiding-place +and conducted her to my side; a woman more perfect than any statue. +There are no words with which to describe her form and anything I could +say would fall far short. Her hair, naturally wavy, flowed completely +over her shoulders; her forehead was low and the roots of her hair were +brushed back from it; her eyebrows, running from the very springs of her +cheeks, almost met at the boundary line between a pair of eyes brighter +than stars shining in a moonless night; her nose was slightly aquiline +and her mouth was such an one as Praxiteles dreamed Diana had. Her chin, +her neck, her hands, the gleaming whiteness of her feet under a slender +band of gold; she turned Parian marble dull! Then, for the first time, +Doris' tried lover thought lightly of Doris! + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> Oh Jove, what's come to pass that thou, thine armor cast away +<p> Art mute in heaven; and but an idle tale? +<p> At such a time the horns should sprout, the raging bull hold sway, +<p> Or they white hair beneath swan's down conceal +<p> Here's Dana's self! But touch that lovely form +<p> Thy limbs will melt beneath thy passions' storm! +</blockquote></blockquote> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p310"></a><img alt="p310.jpg (79K)" src="p310.jpg" height="955" width="541"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SEVENTH. +</h2><br><br><br><br> +<p>She was delighted and so be witchingly did she smile that I seemed to see +the full moon showing her face from behind a cloud. Then, punctuating +her words with her fingers, "Dear boy, if you are not too critical to +enjoy a woman of wealth who has but this year known her first man, I +offer you a sister," said she. "You have a brother already, I know, for +I didn't disdain to ask, but what is to prevent your adopting a sister, +too? I will come in on the same footing only deem my kisses worthy of +recognition and caress me at your own pleasure!" "Rather let me implore +you by your beauty," I replied. "Do not scorn to admit an alien among +your worshipers: If you permit me to kneel before your shrine you will +find me a true votary and, that you may not think I approach this temple +of love without a gift, I make you a present of my brother!" "What," she +exclaimed, "would you really sacrifice the only one without whom you. +could not live'? The one upon whose kisses your happiness depends. Him +whom you love as I would have you love me?" Such sweetness permeated her +voice as she said this, so entrancing was the sound upon the listening +air that you would have believed the Sirens' harmonies were floating in +the breeze. I was struck with wonder and dazzled by I know not what +light that shone upon me, brighter than, the whole heaven, but I made +bold to inquire the name of my divinity. "Why, didn't my maid tell you +that I am called Circe?" she replied. "But I am not the sun-child nor +has my mother ever stayed the revolving world in its course at her +pleasure; but if the Fates bring us two together I will owe heaven a +favor. I don't know what it is, but some god's silent purpose is beneath +this. Circe loves not Polyaenos without some reason; a great torch is +always flaming when these names meet! Take me in your arms then, if you +will; there's no prying stranger to fear, and your 'brother' is far away +from this spot!" So saying, Circe clasped me in arms that were softer +than down and drew me to the ground which was covered with colored +flowers. + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> With flowers like these did Mother Earth great Ida's summit strew +<p> When Jupiter, his heart aflame, enjoyed his lawful love; +<p> There glowed the rose, the flowering rush, the violet's deep blue, +<p> From out green meadows snow-white lilies laughed. Then from above, +<p> This setting summoned Venus to the green and tender sod, +<p> Bright day smiled kindly on the secret amour of the God. +</blockquote></blockquote> + +<p>Side by side upon the grassy plot we lay, exchanging a thousand kisses, +the prelude to more poignant pleasure, (but alas! My sudden loss of +vigor disappointed Circe!) + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p314"></a><img alt="p314.jpg (116K)" src="p314.jpg" height="817" width="575"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT. +</h2><br> +<p>(Infuriated at this affront,) "What's the matter," demanded she; "do my +kisses offend you? Is my breath fetid from fasting? Is there any evil +smelling perspiration in my armpits? Or, if it's nothing of this kind, +are you afraid of Giton?" Under her eyes, I flushed hotly and, if I had +any virility left, I lost it then; my whole body seemed to be inert. "My +queen," I cried, "do not mock me in my humiliation. I am bewitched!" +(Circe's anger was far from being appeased by such a trivial excuse; +turning her eyes contemptuously away from me, she looked at her maid,) +"Tell me, Chrysis, and tell me truly, is there anything repulsive about +me? Anything sluttish? Have I some natural blemish that disfigures my +beauty? Don't deceive your mistress! I don't know what's the matter +with us, but there must be something!" Then she snatched a mirror from +the silent maid and after scrutinizing all the looks and smiles which +pass between lovers, she shook out her wrinkled earth-stained robe and +flounced off into the temple of Venus (nearby.) And here was I, like a +convicted criminal who had seen some horrible nightmare, asking myself +whether the pleasure out of which I had been cheated was a reality or +only a dream. + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> As when, in the sleep-bringing night +<p> Dreams sport with the wandering eyes, +<p> And earth, spaded up, yields to light +<p> Her gold that by day she denies, +<p> The stealthy hand snatches the spoils; +<p> The face with cold sweat is suffused +<p> And Fear grips him tight in her toils +<p> Lest robbers the secret have used +<p> And shake out the gold from his breast. +<p> But, when they depart from his brain, +<p> These enchantments by which he's obsessed, +<p> And Truth comes again with her train +<p> Restoring perspective and pain, +<p> The phantasm lives to the last, +<p> The mind dwells with shades of the past. +</blockquote></blockquote> + +<p>(The misfortune seemed to me a dream, but I imagined that I must surely +be under a spell of enchantment and, for a long time, I was so devoid of +strength that I could not get to my feet. But finally my mental +depression began to abate, little by little my strength came back to me, +and I returned home: arrived there, I feigned illness and threw myself +upon my couch. A little late: Giton, who had heard of my indisposition, +entered the room in some concern. As I wished to relieve his mind I +informed him that I had merely sought my pallet to take a rest, telling +him much other gossip but not a word about my mishap as I stood in great +fear of his jealousy and, to lull any suspicion which he might entertain, +I drew him to my side and endeavoured to give him some proofs of my love +but all my panting and sweating were in vain. He jumped up in a rage and +accused my lack of virility and change of heart, declaring that he had +for a long time suspected that I had been expending my vigor and breath +elsewhere. "No! No! Darling," I replied, "my love for you has always +been the same, but reason prevails now over love and wantonness.") "And +for the Socratic continence of your love, I thank you in his name," (he +replied sarcastically,) "Alcibiades was never more spotless when he left +his master's bed!" + +<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-NINTH. +</h2><br> +<p>"Believe me, 'brother,' when I tell you that I do not know whether I am a +man or not," (I vainly protested;) "I do not feel like one, if I am! +Dead and buried lies that part in which I was once an Achilles!" (Giton, +seeing that I was completely enervated, and) fearing that it might give +cause for scandal if he were caught in this quiet place with me, tore +himself away and fled into an inner part of the house. (He had just gone +when) Chrysis entered the room and handed me her mistress's tablets, in +which were written the following words: + +<blockquote> +<p> CIRCE TO POLYAENOS--GREETING. + +<p> Were I a wanton, I should complain of my disappointment, but as it + is I am beholden to your impotence, for by it I dallied the longer + in the shadow of pleasure. Still, I would like to know how you are + and whether you got home upon your own legs, for the doctors say + that one cannot walk without nerves! Young man, I advise you to + beware of paralysis for I never in my life saw a patient in such + great danger; you're as good as dead, I'm sure! What if the same + numbness should attack your hands and knees? You would have to send + for the funeral trumpeters! Still, even if I have been affronted, + I will not begrudge a prescription to one as sick as you! Ask Giton + if you would like to recover. I am sure you will get back your + strength if you will sleep without your "brother" for three nights. + So far as I am concerned, I am not in the least alarmed about. + finding someone to whom I shall be as pleasing as I was to you; my + mirror and my reputation do not lie. + +<p> Farewell (if you can). +</blockquote> + +<p>"Such things will happen," said Chrysis, when she saw that I had read +through the entire inditement, "and especially in this city, where the +women can lure the moon from the sky! But we'll find a cure for your +trouble. Just return a diplomatic answer to my mistress and restore her +self-esteem by frank courtesy for, truth to tell, she has never been +herself from the minute she received that affront." I gladly followed +the maid's advice and wrote upon the tablets as follows: + +<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTIETH. +</h2><br> + +<blockquote> +<p> POLYAENOS TO CIRCE--GREETING. + +<p> Dear lady, I confess that I have often given cause for offense, for + I am only a man, and a young one, too, but I never committed a + deadly crime until today! You have my confession of guilt, I + deserve any punishment you may see fit to prescribe. I betrayed a + trust, I murdered a man, I violated a temple: demand my punishment + for these crimes. Should it be your pleasure to slay me I will come + to you with my sword; if you are content with a flogging I will run + naked to my mistress; only bear in mind that it was not myself but + my tools that failed me. I was a soldier, and ready, but I had no + arms. What threw me into such disorder I do not know, perhaps my + imagination outran my lagging body, by aspiring to too much it is + likely that I spent my pleasure in delay; I cannot imagine what the + trouble was. You bid me beware of paralysis; as if a disease which + prevented my enjoying you could grow worse! But my apology amounts + briefly to this; if you will grant me an opportunity of repairing my + fault, I will give you satisfaction. +<p> Farewell +</blockquote> + +<p>After dismissing Chrysis with these fair promises, I paid careful +attention to my body which had so evilly served me and, omitting the +bath, I annointed myself, in moderation, with unguents and placed myself +upon a more strengthening diet such as onions and snail's heads without +condiments, and I also drank more sparingly of wine; then, taking a short +walk before settling down to sleep, I went to bed without Giton. So +anxious was I to please her that I feared the outcome if my "brother" lay +tickling my side. + +<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FIRST. +</h2><br> +<p>Finding myself vigorous in mind and body when I arose next morning, I +went down to the same clump of plane trees, though I dreaded the spot as +one of evil omen, and commenced to wait for Chrysis to lead me on my way. +I took a short stroll and had just seated myself where I had sat the day +before, when she came under the trees, leading a little old woman by the +hand. "Well, Mr. Squeamish," she chirped, when she had greeted me, "have +you recovered your appetite?" In the meantime, the old hag: + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> A wine-soaked crone with twitching lips +</blockquote></blockquote> + +<p>brought out a twisted hank of different colored yarns and put it about my +neck; she then kneaded dust and spittle and, dipping her middle finger +into the mixture, she crossed my forehead with it, in spite of my +protests. + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> As long as life remains, there's hope; +<p> Thou rustic God, oh hear our prayer, +<p> Great Priapus, I thee invoke, +<p> Temper our arms to dare! +</blockquote></blockquote> + +<p>When she had made an end of this incantation she ordered me to spit three +times, and three times to drop stones into my bosom, each stone she +wrapped up in purple after she had muttered charms over it; then, +directing her hands to my privates, she commenced to try out my virility. +Quicker than thought the nerves responded to the summons, filling the +crone's hand with an enormous erection! Skipping for joy, "Look, +Chrysis, look," she cried out, "see what a hare I've started, for someone +else to course!" (This done, the old lady handed me over to Chrysis, who +was greatly delighted at the recovery of her mistress's treasure; she +hastily conducted me straight to the latter, introducing me into a lovely +nook that nature had furnished with everything which could delight the +eye.) + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> Shorn of its top, the swaying pine here casts a +<p> summer shade +<p> And quivering cypress, and the stately plane +<p> And berry-laden laurel. A brook's wimpling waters strayed +<p> Lashed into foam, but dancing on again +<p> And rolling pebbles in their chattering flow. +<p> 'Twas Love's own nook, +<p> As forest nightingale and urban Procne undertook +<p> To bear true witness; hovering, the gleaming grass above +<p> And tender violets; wooing with song, their stolen love. +</blockquote></blockquote> + +<p>Fanning herself with a branch of flowering myrtle, she lay, stretched out +with her marble neck resting upon a golden cushion. When she caught +sight of me she blushed faintly; she recalled yesterday's affront, I +suppose. At her invitation, I sat down by her side, as soon as the +others had gone; whereupon she put the branch of myrtle over my face and +emboldened, as if a wall had been raised between us, "Well, Mr. +Paralytic," she teased, "have you brought all of yourself along today?" +"Why ask me," I replied, "why not try me instead?" and throwing myself +bodily into her arms, I revelled in her kisses with no witchcraft to stop +me. + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p322"></a><img alt="p322.jpg (97K)" src="p322.jpg" height="851" width="569"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-SECOND. +</h2><br> +<p>The loveliness of her form drew, me to her and summoned me to love. Our +lips were pressed together in a torrent of smacking kisses, our groping +hands had discovered every trick of excitation, and our bodies, clasped +in a mutual embrace, had fused our souls into one, (and then, in the very +midst of these ravishing preliminaries my nerves again played me false +and I was unable to last until the instant of supreme bliss.) Lashed to +fury by these inexcusable affronts, the lady at last ran to avenge +herself and, calling her house servants, she gave orders for me to be +hoisted upon their shoulders and flogged; then, still unsatisfied with +the drastic punishment she had inflicted upon me, she called all the +spinning women and scrubbing wenches in the house and ordered them to +spit upon me. I covered my face with my hands but I uttered no complaint +as I well knew what I deserved and, overwhelmed with blows and spittle, I +was driven from the house. Proselenos was kicked out too, Chrysis was +beaten, and all the slaves grumbled among themselves and wondered what +had upset their mistress's good humor. I took heart after having given +some thought to my misfortunes and, artfully concealing the marks of the +blows for fear that Eumolpus would make merry over my mishaps or, worse +yet, that Giton might be saddened by my disgrace, I did the only thing I +could do to save my self-respect, I pretended that I was sick and went to +bed. There, I turned the full fury of my resentment against that +recreant which had been the sole cause of all the evil accidents which +had befallen me. + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> Three times I grasped the two-edged blade +<p> The recreant to cut away; +<p> Three times by Fear my hand was stayed +<p> And palsied Terror said me nay +<p> That which I might have done before +<p> 'Twas now impossible to do; +<p> For, cold with Fear, the wretch withdrew +<p> Into a thousand-wrinkled mare, +<p> And shrank in shame before my gaze +<p> Nor would his head uncover more. +<p> But though the scamp in terror skulked, +<p> With words I flayed him as he sulked. +</blockquote></blockquote> + +<p>Raising myself upon my elbow I rebuked the shirker in some such terms as +these: "What have you to say for yourself, you disgrace to gods and men," +I demanded, "for your name must never be mentioned among refined people. +Did I deserve to be lifted up to heaven and then dragged down to hell by +you? Was it right for you to slander my flourishing and vigorous years +and land me in the shadows and lassitude of decrepit old age? Give me +some sign, however faint, I beg of you, that you have returned to life!" +I vented my anger in words such as these. + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> His eyes were fixed, and with averted look +<p> He stood, less moved by any word of mine +<p> Than weeping willows bending o'er a brook +<p> Or drooping poppies as at noon they pine. +</blockquote></blockquote> + +<p>When I had made an end of this invective, so out of keeping with good +taste, I began to do penance for my soliloquy and blushed furtively +because I had so far forgotten my modesty as to invoke in words that part +of my body which men of dignity do not even recognize. Then, rubbing my +forehead for a long time, "Why have I committed an indiscretion in +relieving my resentment by natural abuse," I mused, "what does it amount +to? Are we not accustomed to swear at every member of the human body, +the belly, throat, or even the head when it aches, as it often does? Did +not Ulysses wrangle with his own heart? Do not the tragedians 'Damn +their eyes' just as if they could hear? + +<p>"Gouty patients swear at their feet, rheumatics at their hands, +blear-eyed people at their eyes, and do not those who often stub their toes blame +their feet for all their pain? + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> "Why will our Catos with their frowning brows +<p> Condemn a work of fresh simplicity'? +<p> A cheerful kindness my pure speech endows; +<p> What people do, I write, to my capacity. +<p> For who knows not the pleasures Venus gives? +<p> Who will not in a warm bed tease his members? +<p> Great Epicurus taught a truth that lives; +<p> Love and enjoy life! All the rest is embers. +</blockquote></blockquote> + +<p>"Nothing can be more insincere than the silly prejudices of mankind, and +nothing sillier than the morality of bigotry," + +<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-THIRD. +</h2><br> +<p>I called Giton when I had finished my meditation: "Tell me, little +brother," I demanded, "tell me, on your honor: Did Ascyltos stay awake +until he had exacted his will of you, the night he stole you away from +me? Or was he content to spend the night like a chaste widow?" Wiping +his eyes the lad, in carefully chosen words took oath that Ascyltos had +used no force against him. (The truth of the matter is, that I was so +distraught with my own misfortunes that I knew not what I was saying. +"Why recall past memories which can only cause pain," said I to myself. +I then directed all my energies towards the recovery of my lost manhood. +To achieve this I was ready even to devote myself to the gods; +accordingly, I went out to invoke the aid of Priapus.) {Putting as good a +face upon the matter as I could} I knelt upon the threshold of his shrine +and invoked the God in the following verses: + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> "Of Bacchus and the nymphs, companion boon, +<p> Whom fair Dione set o'er forests wide +<p> As God: whom Lesbos and green Thasos own +<p> For deity, whom Lydians, far and wide +<p> Adore through all the seasons of the year; +<p> Whose temple in his own Hypaepa placed, +<p> Thou Dryad's joy and Bacchus', hear my prayer! +<p> To thee I come, by no dark blood disgraced, +<p> No shrine, in wicked lust have I profaned; +<p> When I was poor and worn with want, I sinned +<p> Not by intent, a pauper's sin's not banned +<p> As of another! Unto thee I pray +<p> Lift thou the load from off my tortured mind, +<p> Forgive a light offense! When fortune smiles +<p> I'll not thy glory shun and leave behind +<p> Thy worship! Unto thee, a goat that feels +<p> His primest vigor, father of the flocks +<p> Shall come! And suckling pigs, the tender young +<p> Of some fine grunting sow! New wine, in crocks +<p> Shall foam! Thy grateful praises shall be sung +<p> By youths who thrice shall dance around thy shrine +<p> Happy, in youth and full of this year's wine!" +</blockquote></blockquote> + +<p>While I was engaged in this diplomatic effort in behalf of the affected +member, a hideous crone with disheveled hair, and clad in black garments +which were in great: disorder, entered the shrine and, laying hands upon +me, led me {thoroughly frightened,} out into the portico. + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p330"></a><img alt="p330.jpg (107K)" src="p330.jpg" height="937" width="535"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FOURTH. +</h2><br> +<p>"What witches" (she cried,) "have devoured your manhood? What filth did +you tread upon at some crossroads, in the dark? Not even by the boy +could you do your duty but, weak and effeminate, you are worn out like a +cart-horse at a hill, you have lost both labor and sweat! Not content +with getting yourself into trouble, you have stirred up the wrath of the +gods against me {and I will make you smart for it."} She then led me, +unresisting, back into the priestess's room, pushed me down upon the bed, +snatched a cane that hung upon the door, and gave me another thrashing: +I remained silent and, had the cane not splintered at the first stroke, +thereby diminishing the force of the blow, she might easily have broken +my arms or my head. I groaned dismally, and especially when she +manipulated my member and, shedding a flood of tears, I covered my head +with my right arm and huddled down upon the pillow. Nor did she weep +less bitterly: + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p>The sailor, naked from his foundered barque, +<p>Some shipwrecked mariner seeks out to hear his woe; +<p>When hail beats down a farmer's crop, his cark +<p>Seeks consolation from another, too. +<p>Death levels caste and sufferers unites, +<p>And weeping parents are as one in grief; +<p>We also will beseech the starry heights, +<p>United prayers climb best, is the belief. +</blockquote></blockquote> + +<p>She seated herself upon the other side of the bed and in quavering tones +commenced to accuse the delays of old age. At last the priestess came +in. "Why," she cried, "what has brought you into my cell as if you were +visiting a newly made grave? And on a feast-day, too, when even mourners +ought to smile!" "OEnothea," the old hag replied, "this young man here +was born under an unlucky star: he can't dispose of his goods to either +boy or girl. Such an unfortunate fellow you never saw. He has no tool +at all, only a piece of leather soaked in water! I wish you would tell +me what you think of a man who could get up from Circe's bed without +having tasted pleasure!" On hearing these words, OEnothea sat down +between us and, after shaking her head for a while, "I'm the only one +that knows how to cure that disease," said she, "and for fear you think +I'm talking to hear myself talk, I'll just have the young fellow sleep +with me for a night, and if I don't make it as hard as horn! + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> All that you see in the world must give heed to my mandates; + +<p> Blossoming earth, when I will it, must languish, a desert.' + +<p> Riches pour forth, when I will it, from crags and grim boulders + +<p> Waters will spurt that will rival the Nile at its flooding + +<p> Seas calm their billows before me, gales silence their howlings, + +<p> Hearing my step! And the rivers sink into their channels; + +<p> Dragons, Hyrcanian tigers stand fast at my bidding! + +<p> Why should I tell you of small things? The image of Luna + +<p> Drawn by my spells must descend, and Apollo, atremble + +<p> Backs up his horses and turns from his course at my order! + +<p> Such is the power of my word! By the rites of a virgin + +<p> Quenched is the raging of bulls; and the sun's daughter Circe + +<p> Changed and transfigured the crew of the wily Ulysses. + +<p> Proteus changes his form when his good pleasure dictates, + +<p> I, who am skilled in these arts, can the shrubs of Mount Ida + +<p> Plant in the ocean; turn rivers to flow up the mountains!" +</blockquote></blockquote> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p334"></a><img alt="p334.jpg (33K)" src="p334.jpg" height="993" width="389"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FIFTH. +</h2><br> +<p>At this declaration, which was so awe-inspiring, I shuddered in terror, +and commenced to scrutinize the crone more narrowly. "Come now," said +OEnothea, "obey my orders," and, carefully wiping her hands, she bent +over the cot and kissed me, once, twice! On the middle of the altar +OEnothea placed an old table, upon which she heaped live coals, then with +melted pitch she repaired a goblet which had become cracked through age. +Next she replaced, in the smoke-stained wall, a peg which had come out +when she took down the wooden goblet. Then, having donned a mantle, in +the shape of a piece of square-cut cloth, she set a huge kettle upon the +hearth and at the same time speared with a fork a cloth hanging upon the +meathooks, and lifted it down. It contained some beans which had been +laid away for future use, and a very small and stale piece of pig's +cheek, scored with a thousand slashes. When she had untied the string +which fastened the cloth, she poured some of the beans upon the table and +ordered me to shell them quickly and carefully. I obey her mandate and +with careful fingers separate the beans from the filthy pods which +contain them; but she, accusing my clumsiness, hastily snatched them and, +skillfully tearing off the pods with her teeth, spat them upon the +ground, where they looked like dead flies. I wondered, then, at the +ingenuity of poverty and its expedients for emergency. (So ardent a +follower of this virtue did the priestess seem that it was reflected in +everything around her. Her dwelling, in particular, was a very shrine of +poverty.) + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> No Indian ivory set in gold gleamed here, +<p> No trodden marble glistened here; no earth +<p> Mocked for its gifts; but Ceres' festive grove: +<p> With willow wickerwork 'twas set around, +<p> New cups of clay by revolutions shaped +<p> Of lowly wheel. For honey soft, a bowl; +<p> Platters of green bark wickerwork, a jar +<p> Stained by the lifeblood of the God of Wine; +<p> The walls around with chaff and spattered clay +<p> Were covered. Flanging from protruding nails +<p> Were slender stalks of the green rush; and then +<p> Suspended from the smoky beam, the stores +<p> Of this poor cottage. Service berries soft, +<p> Entwined in fragrant wreaths hung down, +<p> Dried savory and raisins by the bunch. +<p> An hostess here like she on Attic soil, +<p> Of Hecate's pure worship worthy she! +<p> Whose fame Kallimachos so grandly sang +<p> 'Twill live forever through the speaking years. +</blockquote></blockquote> + + +<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-SIXTH. +</h2><br> +<p>In the meantime, (having shelled the beans,) she took a mouthful of the +meat and with the fork was replacing the pig's cheek, which was coeval +with herself, upon the meat-hook, when the rotten stool, which she was +using to augment her height, broke down under the old lady's weight and +let her fall upon the hearth. The neck of the pot was broken, putting +out the fire, which was just getting a good start, her elbow was burned +by a flaming brand, and her whole face was covered by the ashes raised by +her fall. I jumped up in dismay and, not without laughing, helped the +old lady to her feet. She hastily scurried out into the neighborhood to +replenish the fire, for fear anything should delay the sacrifice. I was +on my way to the door of the cell when lo! and behold! three sacred geese +which were accustomed, I suppose, to demand their feed from the old woman +at midday, made a rush at me and, surrounding me, made me nervous with +their abominable rabid cackling. One tore at my tunic, another undid the +lacings of my sandals and tugged at them, but one in particular, the +ringleader and moving spirit of this savage attack, did not hesitate to +worry at my leg with his serrated bill. Unable to see the joke, I +twisted off one of the legs of the little table and, thus armed, began to +belabor the pugnacious brute. Nor did I rest content with a light blow, +I avenged myself by the death of the goose. + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> 'Twas thus, I ween, the birds of Stymphalus +<p> To heaven fled, by Herakles impelled; +<p> The Harpies, too, whose reeking pinions held +<p> That poison which the feast of Phineus +<p> Contaminated. All the air above +<p> With their unwonted lamentations shook, +<p> The heavens in uproar and confusion move +<p> {The Stars, in dread, their orbits then forsook!} +</blockquote></blockquote> + +<p>By this time the two remaining geese had picked up the beans which had +been scattered all over the floor and bereft, I suppose, of their leader, +had gone back into the temple; and I, well content with my revenge and my +booty, threw the dead goose behind the cot and bathed the trifling wound +in my leg with vinegar: then, fearing a scolding, I made up my mind to +run away and, collecting together all my belongings, started to leave the +house. I had not yet stepped over the threshold of the cell, however, +when I caught sight of OEnothea returning with an earthen vessel full of +live coals. Thereupon I retraced my steps and, throwing off my garments, +I took my stand just inside the door, as if I were awaiting her return. +She banked her fire with broken reeds, piled some pieces of wood on top, +and began to excuse her delay on the ground that her friend would not +permit her to leave until after the customary three drinks had been +taken. "But what were you up to in my absence?" she demanded. "Where +are the beans?" Thinking that I had done a thing worthy of all praise, I +informed her of the battle in all its details and, that she might not be +downcast any longer, I produced the dead goose in payment for her loss. +When the old lady laid eyes upon that, she raised such a clamor that you +would have thought that the geese had invaded the room again. Confounded +and thunderstruck at the novelty of my crime, I asked her why she was so +angry and why she pitied the goose rather than myself. + +<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVENTH. +</h2><br> +<p>But, beating her palms together, "You villain, are you so brazen that you +can speak?" she shrieked. "Don't you know what a serious crime you've +committed? You have slaughtered the delight of Priapus, a goose, the +very darling of married women! And for fear you think that nothing +serious has happened, if the magistrates find this out you'll go to the +cross! Until this day my dwelling has been inviolate and you have +polluted it with blood! You have conducted yourself in such a manner +that any enemy I have can turn me out of the priesthood!" + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> She spoke, and from her trembling head she tore the snow-white hair, +<p> And scratched her cheeks: her eyes shed floods of tears. +<p> As when a torrent headlong rushes down the valleys drear, +<p> Its icy fetters gone when Sprint appears, +<p> And strikes the frozen shackles from rejuvenated earth +<p> So down her face the tears in torrents swept +<p> And wracking sobs convulsed her as she wept. +</blockquote></blockquote> + +<p>"Please don't make such a fuss," I said, "I'll give you an ostrich in +place of your goose!" While she sat upon the cot and, to my +stupefaction, bewailed the death of the goose, Proselenos came in with +the materials for the sacrifice. Seeing the dead goose and inquiring the +cause of her grief, she herself commenced to weep more violently still +and to commiserate me, as if I had slain my own father, instead of a +public goose. Growing tired of this nonsense at last, "See here," +said I, "could I not purchase immunity for a price, even though I had +assaulted you'? Even though I had murdered a man? Look here! I'm +laying down two gold pieces, you can buy both gods and geese with them!" +"Forgive me, young man," said OEnothea, when she caught sight of the +gold, "I am anxious upon your account; that is a proof of love, not of +malignity. Let us take such precautions that not a soul will find this +out. As for you, pray to the gods to forgive your sacrilege!" + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> The rich man can sail in a favoring gale +<p> And snap out his course at his pleasure; +<p> A Dance espouse, no Acrisius will rail, +<p> His credence by hers he will measure; +<p> Write verse, or declaim; snap the finger of scorn +<p> At the world, yet still win all his cases, +<p> The rabble will drink in his words with concern +<p> When a Cato austere it displaces. +<p> At law, his "not proven," or "proved," he can have +<p> With Servius or Labeo vieing; +<p> With gold at command anything he may crave +<p> Is his without asking or sighing. +<p> The universe bows at his slightest behest, +<p> For Jove is a prisoner in his treasure chest. +</blockquote></blockquote> + +<p>In the meantime, she scurried around and put a jar of wine under my hands +and, when my fingers had all been spread out evenly, she purified them +with leeks and parsley. Then, muttering incantations, she threw +hazel-nuts into the wine and drew her conclusions as they sank or floated; but +she did not hoodwink me, for those with empty shells, no kernel and full +of air, would of course float, while those that were heavy and full of +sound kernel would sink to the bottom. {She then turned her attention to +the goose,} and, cutting open the breast, she drew out a very fat liver +from which she foretold my future. Then, for fear any trace of the crime +should remain, she cut the whole goose up, stuck the pieces upon spits, +and served up a very delectable dinner for me, whom, but a moment before, +she had herself condemned to death, in her own words! Meanwhile, cups of +unmixed wine went merrily around (and the crones greedily devoured the +goose which they had but so lately lamented. When the last morsel had +disappeared, OEnothea, half-drunk by this time, looked at me and said, +"We must now go through with the mysteries, so that you may get back your +virility.") + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p342"></a><img alt="p342.jpg (79K)" src="p342.jpg" height="845" width="549"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-EIGHTH.</h2> +<br> +<p>(As she said this OEnothea brought) out a leathern dildo which, when she +had smeared it with oil, ground pepper, and pounded nettle seed, she +commenced to force, little by little, up my anus. The merciless old +virago then anointed the insides of my thighs with the same decoction; +finally mixing nasturtium juice with elixir of southern wood, she gave my +genitals a bath and, picking up a bunch of green nettles, she commenced +to strike me gently all over my belly below the navel. {The nettles stung +me horribly and I suddenly took to my heels, with the old hags in full +pursuit.} Although they were befuddled with wine and lust they followed +the right road and chased me through several wards, screaming "Stop +thief." I made good my escape, however, although every toe was bleeding +as the result of my headlong flight. (I got home as quickly as I could +and, worn out with fatigue, I sought my couch, but I could not snatch a +wink of sleep for the evil adventures which had befallen me kept running +through my brain and, brooding upon them, I came to the conclusion that +no one could be so abjectly unfortunate. "Has Fortune, always inimical +to me, stood in need of the pangs of love, that she might torture me more +cruelly still," I cried out; "unhappy wretch that I am! Fortune and Love +have joined forces to bring about my ruin. Cruel Eros himself had never +dealt leniently with me, loved or lover I am put to the torture! Take +the case of Chrysis: she loves me desperately, never leaves off teasing +me, she who despised me as a servant, because, when she was acting as her +mistress's go-between, I was dressed in the garments of a slave: she, I +say) that same Chrysis, who looked with contempt upon your former lowly +lot, is now bent upon following it up even at the peril of her life; (she +swore that she would never leave my side on the day when she told me of +the violence of her passion: but Circe owns me, heart and soul, all +others I despise. Who could be lovelier than she?) What loveliness +had Ariadne or Leda to compare with hers? What had Helen to compare with +her, what has Venus? If Paris himself had seen her with her dancing +eyes, when he acted as umpire for the quarreling goddesses, he would have +given up Helen and the goddesses for her! If I could only steal a kiss, +if only I might put my arms around that divine, that heavenly bosom, +perhaps the virility would come back to this body and the parts, flaccid +from witchcraft would, I believe, come into their own. Contempt cannot +tire me out: what if I was flogged; I will forget it! What if I was +thrown out! I will treat it as a joke! Only let me be restored to her +good graces! + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> At rest on my pallet, night's silence had scarce settled down + +<p> To soothe me, and eyes heavy-laden with slumber to lull + +<p> When torturing Amor laid hold of me, seizing my hair + +<p> And dragging me, wounding me, ordered a vigil till dawn. + +<p> 'Oh heart of stone, how canst thou lie here alone?' said the God, + +<p> 'Thou joy of a thousand sweet mistresses, how, oh my slave?' + +<p> In disarrayed nightrobe I leap to bare feet and essay + +<p> To follow all paths; but a road can discover by none. + +<p> One moment I hasten; the next it is torture to move, + +<p> It irks me again to turn back, shame forbids me to halt + +<p> And stand in the midst of the road. Lo! the voices of men, + +<p> The roar of the streets, and the songs of the birds, and the bark + +<p> Of vigilant watch-dogs are hushed! Alone, I of all + +<p> Society dread both my slumber and couch, and obey + +<p> Great Lord of the Passions, thy mandate which on me was laid." +</blockquote></blockquote> + +<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-NINTH. +</h2><br> +<p>(Such thoughts as these, of lovely Circe's charms so wrought upon my mind +that) I disordered my bed by embracing the image, as it were, of my +mistress, (but my efforts were all wasted.) This obstinate (affliction +finally wore out my patience, and I cursed the hostile deity by whom I +was bewitched. I soon recovered my composure, however, and, deriving +some consolation from thinking of the heroes of old, who had been +persecuted by the anger of the gods, I broke out in these lines:) + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> Hostile gods and implacable rate not me alone pursue; + +<p> Herakles once suffered the weight of heaven's displeasure too + +<p> Driven from the Inachian coast: Laomedon of old + +<p> Sated two of the heavenly host: in Pelias, behold + +<p> Juno's power to avenge an affront; and Telephus took arms + +<p> Knowing not he must bear the brunt; Ulysses feared the storms + +<p> Angry Neptune decreed as his due. Now, me to overwhelm + +<p> Outraged Priapus ever pursues on land and Nereus' realm. +</blockquote></blockquote> + +<p>(Tortured by these cares I spent the whole night in anxiety, and at dawn, +Giton, who had found out that I had slept at home, entered the room and +bitterly accused me of leading a licentious life; he said that the whole +household was greatly concerned at what I had been doing, that I was so +rarely present to attend to my duties, and that the intrigue in which I +was engaged would very likely bring about my ruin. I gathered from this +that he had been well informed as to my affairs, and that someone had +been to the house inquiring for me. Thereupon,) I began to ply Giton +with questions as to whether anyone had made inquiry for me; "Not today," +he replied, "but yesterday a woman came in at the door, not bad looking, +either, and after talking to me for quite a while, and wearing me out +with her far-fetched conversation, finally ended by saying that you +deserved punishment, and that you would receive the scourging of a slave +if the injured party pressed his complaint." (This news afflicted me so +bitterly that I levelled fresh recriminations against Fortune, and) I had +not yet finished grumbling when Chrysis came in and, throwing herself +upon me, embraced me passionately. "I have you," she cried, "just as I +hoped I would; you are my heart's desire, my joy, you can never put out +this flame of mine unless you quench it in my blood!" (I was greatly +embarrassed by this wantonness of Chrysis and had recourse to flattery +in order that I might rid myself of her, as I feared that her passionate +outcries would reach the ears of Eumolpus who, in the arrogance of +success, had put on the manner of the master. So on this account, I did +everything I could think of to calm Chrysis. I feigned love, whispered +compliments, in short, so skillfully did I dissimulate that she believed +I was Love's own captive. I showed her what pressing peril overhung us +should she be caught in that room with me, as Eumolpus was only too ready +to punish the slightest offense. On hearing this, she left me hurriedly, +and all the more quickly, as she caught sight of Giton, who had only left +me a little before she had come in, on his way to my room. She was +scarcely gone when) one of the newly engaged servants rushed in and +informed me that the master was furiously angry with me because of my two +days' absence from duty; I would do well, therefore, to prepare some +plausible excuse, as it was not likely that his angry passion would be +placated until someone had been flogged. (Seeing that I was so vexed and +disheartened, Giton said not a word about the woman, contenting himself +with speaking of Eumolpus, and advising me that it would be better to +joke with him than to treat the matter seriously. I followed this lead +and appeared before the old fellow, with so merry a countenance that, +instead of showing severity, he received me with good humor and rallied +me upon the success of my love affairs, praising the elegance of my +figure which made me such a favorite with the ladies. "I know very +well," he went on, "that a lovely woman is dying for love of you, +Encolpius, and this may come in handy for us, so play your part and I'll +play mine, too!") + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p350"></a><img alt="p350.jpg (88K)" src="p350.jpg" height="959" width="487"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND FORTIETH. +</h2><br> +<p>(He was still speaking, when in came a) matron of the most exclusive +social set, Philumene by name, who had often, when young, extorted many +a legacy by means of her charms, but an old woman now, the flower of her +beauty faded, she threw her son and daughter in the way of childless old +men and through this substitution she contrived to continue her +established policy. She came to Eumolpus, both to commend her children +to his practical judgment and to entrust herself and her hopes to his +good nature, he being the only one in all the world who could daily +instruct young children in healthy precepts. In short, she left her +children in Eumolpus' house in order that they might hear the words that +dropped from his lips, as this was the only legacy she could leave to +them. Nor did she do otherwise than as she had promised, but left in +his bed chamber a very beautiful daughter and her brother, a lad, and +pretended that she herself was compelled to go out to a temple to offer +up her vows. Eumolpus, who was so continent that even I was a boy in his +eyes, lost no time in inviting the damsel to sacrifice to the Aversa +Venus; but, as he had told everyone that he was gouty and that his back +was weak, and as he stood in danger of upsetting the whole farce if he +did not carefully live up to the pretence, he therefore, that the +imposture might be kept up, prevailed upon the young lady to seat herself +upon that goodness which had been commended to her, and ordered Corax to +crawl under the bed upon which he himself was lying and after bracing +himself by putting his hands upon the floor, to hoist his master up and +down with his own back. Corax carried out the order in full and +skillfully seconded the wriggling of the girl with a corresponding +seesaw. Then, when the crisis was about due, Eumolpus, in a ringing +voice, called out to Corax to increase the cadence. And thus the old +lecher, suspended between his servant and his mistress, enjoyed himself +just as if he were in a swing. Time and again Eumolpus repeated this +performance, to the accompaniment of ringing laughter in which he himself +joined. At last, fearing I might lose an opportunity through lack of +application, I also made advances to the brother who was enjoying the +gymnastics of his sister through the keyhole, to see if he would prove +amenable to assault. Nor did this well trained lad reject my advances; +but alas! I discovered that the God was still my enemy. (However, I was +not so blue over this failure as I had been over those before, and my +virility returned a little later and, suddenly finding myself in better +fettle I cried out,) "Great are the gods who have made me whole again! +In his loving kindness, Mercury, who conducts and reconducts the souls, +has restored to me that which a hostile hand had cut away. Look! You +will find that I am more graciously endowed than was Protestilaus or any +other of the heroes of old!" So saying, I lifted up my tunic and showed +Eumolpus that I was whole. At first he was startled, then, that he might +believe his own eyes, he handled this pledge of the good will of the gods +with both hands. (Our good humor was revived by this blessing and we +laughed at the diplomacy of Philumene and at the skill with which her +children plied their calling, little likely to profit them much with us, +however, as it was only in hopes of coming into a legacy that she had +abandoned the boy and girl to us. Meditating upon this unscrupulous +method of getting around childless old men, I began to take thought of +the present state of our own affairs and made use of the occasion to warn +Eumolpus that he might be bitten in biting the biters. "Everything that +we do," I said, "should be dictated by Prudence.) Socrates, {whose +judgment was riper than that} of the gods or of men used to boast that he +had never looked into a tavern nor believed the evidence of his own eyes +in any crowded assembly which was disorderly: so nothing is more in +keeping than always conversing with wisdom. + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> Live coals are more readily held in men's mouths than a secret! + +<p> Whatever you talk of at home will fly forth in an instant, + +<p> Become a swift rumor and beat at the walls of your city. + +<p> Nor is it enough that your confidence thus has been broken, + +<p> As rumor but grows in the telling and strives to embellish. + +<p> The covetous servant who feared to make public his knowledge + +<p> A hole in the ground dug, and therein did whisper his secret + +<p> That told of a king's hidden ears: this the earth straightway + echoed, + +<p> And rustling reeds added that Midas was king in the story. +</blockquote></blockquote> + +<p>Every word of this is true," I insisted, "and no one deserves to get into +trouble more quickly than he who covets the goods of others! How could +cheats and swindlers live unless they threw purses or little bags +clinking with money into the crowd for bait? Just as dumb brutes are +enticed by food, human beings are not to be caught unless they have +something in the way of hope at which to nibble! (That was the reason +that the Crotonians gave us such a satisfactory reception, but) the ship +does not arrive, from Africa, with your money and your slaves, as you +promised. The patience of the fortune-hunters is worn out and they have +already cut down their liberality so that, either I am mistaken, or else +our usual luck is about to return to punish you!" + +<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2>CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-FIRST. +</h2><br> +<p>("I have thought up a scheme," replied Eumolpus, "which will embarrass +our fortune-hunting friends sorely," and as he said this, he drew his +tablets from his wallet and read his last wishes aloud, as follows:) +"All who are down for legacies under my will, my freedmen only excepted, +shall come into what I bequeath them subject to this condition, that they +do cut my body into pieces and devour said pieces in sight of the crowd: +{nor need they be inordinately shocked} for among some peoples, the law +ordaining that the dead shall be devoured by their relatives is still in +force; nay, even the sick are often abused because they render their own +flesh worse! I admonish my friends, by these presents, lest they refuse +what I command, that they devour my carcass with as great relish as they +damned my soul!" (Eumolpus had just started reading the first clauses +when several of his most intimate friends entered the room and catching +sight of the tablets in his hand in which was contained his last will and +testament, besought him earnestly to permit them to hear the contents. +He consented immediately and read the entire instrument from first to +last. But when they had heard that extraordinary stipulation by which +they were under the necessity of devouring his carcass, they were greatly +cast down, but) his reputation for enormous wealth dulled the eyes and +brains of the wretches, (and they were such cringing sycophants that they +dared not complain of the outrage in his hearing. One there was, +nevertheless, named) Gorgias, who was willing to comply, (provided he did +not have too long to wait! To this, Eumolpus made answer:) "I have no +fear that your stomach will turn, it will obey orders; if, for one hour +of nausea you promise it a plethora of good things: just shut your eyes +and pretend that it's not human guts you've bolted, but ten million +sesterces! And beside, we will find some condiment which will disguise +the taste! No flesh is palatable of itself, it must be seasoned by art +and reconciled to the unwilling stomach. And, if you desire to fortify +the plan by precedents, the Saguntines ate human flesh when besieged by +Hannibal, and they had no legacy in prospect! In stress of famine, the +inhabitants of Petelia did the same and gained nothing from the diet +except that they were not hungry! When Numantia was taken by Scipio, +mothers, with the half-eaten bodies of their babes in their bosoms, were +found! (Therefore, since it is only the thought of eating human flesh +that makes you squeamish, you must try to overcome your aversion, with +all your heart, so that you may come into the immense legacies I have put +you down for!" So carelessly did Eumolpus reel off these extravagances +that the fortune-hunters began to lose faith in the validity of his +promises and subjected our words and actions to a closer scrutiny +immediately; their suspicions grew with their experience and they came +to the conclusion that we were out and out grafters, and thereupon those +who had been put to the greatest expense for our entertainment resolved +to seize us and take it out in just revenge; but Chrysis, who was privy +to all their scheming, informed me of the designs which the Crotonians +had hatched; and when I heard this news, I was so terrified that I fled +instantly, with Giton, and left Eumolpus to his fate. I learned, a few +days later, that the Crotonians, furious because the old fox had lived +so long and so sumptuously at the public expense, had put him to death +in the Massilian manner. That you may comprehend what this means, know +that) whenever the Massilians were ravaged by the plague, one of the poor +would offer himself to be fed for a whole year upon choice food at public +charge; after which, decked out with olive branches and sacred vestments, +he was led out through the entire city, loaded with imprecations so that +he might take to himself the evils from which the city suffered, and then +thrown headlong (from the cliff.) + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p360"></a><img alt="p360.jpg (68K)" src="p360.jpg" height="845" width="609"> +</center> + + + +<br><br> +<hr> +<br><br> +<br><br> +<br><br> + + +<pre> +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SATYRICON OF PETRONIUS, V5 *** + +******** This file should be named pas5w10h.html or pas5w10h.zip ******** + +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, pas5w11h.html +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, pas5w10ha.html + +This eBook was produced by David Widger [widger@cecomet.net] + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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