diff options
54 files changed, 17 insertions, 15216 deletions
diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9ee29b4 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #60432 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/60432) diff --git a/old/60432-0.txt b/old/60432-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 53deab7..0000000 --- a/old/60432-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,7453 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Real Tsaritza, by Lili Dehn - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: The Real Tsaritza - -Author: Lili Dehn - -Release Date: October 5, 2019 [EBook #60432] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE REAL TSARITZA *** - - - - -Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was -produced from images available at The Internet Archive) - - - - - - - [Illustration: H.I.M. ALEXANDRA - - (Given to the Author at Tsarskoe Selo, Spring, 1909)] - - - - - THE - - REAL TSARITSA - - BY - - MADAME LILI DEHN - - CLOSE FRIEND OF THE - LATE EMPRESS OF RUSSIA - - [Illustration] - - - THORNTON BUTTERWORTH LTD. - 15 BEDFORD STREET, LONDON, W.C.2 - - - - - _First Published---- April, 1922_ - - - - - TSARKOE SELO - - To - - H.I.M. ALEXANDRA - - THE LATE EMPRESS OF RUSSIA - - _Adieu, c’est pour un autre monde_ - - - The fate which destined thee for lofty power, - And crowned thee Sovereign o’er an Empire wide, - Placed too the cup of suffering by thy side - And sorrow gave thee for imperial dower: - How little did’st thou dream in Fortune’s hour - Thy barque would founder on such tragic tide - Of blood as wrecks a mighty nation’s pride, - While black the clouds of Revolution lower! - What force sustained thee in those days of stress - When death and ruin held their sombre court, - And frenzied mob set might all right above? - What made thee still thy prayers to Heav’n address, - And solace to thy stricken spirit brought? - ’Twas faith unshaken in a God of love. - - OSWALD NORMAN. - - - - -LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS - - -H.I.M. Alexandra _Frontispiece_ - -Anna (Ania) Virouboff _to face page_ 48 - -Her Imperial Majesty with Titi " 56 - -Her Imperial Majesty with the Tsarevitch " 56 - -H.I.M. The Tsar with Officers of the Royal Yacht “Standart” " 96 - -The Empress on board the “Standart” " 96 - -H.I.M. on board the tender of the “Standart” " 96 - -Grand Duchess Olga " 104 - -Grand Duchess Tatiana " 104 - -The Imperial Family " 152 - -Royal Shooting Party " 160 - -The Tsarevitch at G.H.Q. " 160 - -The Tsarevitch and his Spaniel “Joy” " 160 - -His Imperial Majesty and the Tsarevitch " 184 - -H.I.M. Alexandra (end of 1915) " 184 - -The Empress at Tobolsk " 208 - -The Empress with Tatiana at Tsarkoe Selo " 208 - -The Grand Duchesses Marie and Anastasie " 208 - - - - -FACSIMILIA - - -Part of letter of June 5/18, 1917 _to face page_ 240 - -Part of letter of March 2/15, 1918 " 245 - -Note from the Empress " 208 - -Part of letter on day of departure for Siberia " 234 - -Letter from the Empress (1916) " 235 - -Part of letter of 30th July, 1917 " 241 - -Christmas Card drawn by the Empress " 242 - - - - -FOREWORD - - -In giving to the world my memories of the Empress Alexandra of Russia, I -do not wish to pose as one who is biased by a long and intimate -friendship. I write of the Tsaritsa as I knew her: the real Tsaritsa. I -was not acquainted with the heroine of the films, the hysterical -devotee, or the pro-German who, it is asserted, betrayed both her -country by adoption and the country which knew her as a granddaughter of -Queen Victoria and the daughter of a much loved English Princess. - - - - -Part I--Old Russia - - - - -CHAPTER I - - -I was born on the beautiful estates in South Russia which belonged to my -grandmother and my uncle. My father was Ismail Selim Bek Smolsky, whose -ancestors hailed from Lithuanian Tartary, and my mother, before her -marriage, was Mlle Catherine Horvat, whose grandfather had been invited -by the Empress Elizabeth Petrovna to come from Hungary and assist in the -colonization of South Russia. Colonel Horvat, who was half Serbian and -half Hungarian by birth, was appointed general of the armies of the -South by the Empress, and there is a story in our family that when he -first arrived in Russia he was taken to the summit of a high mountain -and told to look at the panorama of fields and forests lying beneath -him. - -Colonel Horvat dutifully admired the view, but an unexpected surprise -awaited him. “Look well around you, M. le Colonel,” said his guide, “the -country, as far as you can see, is yours; it is the gift of the -Empress!” Truly an Imperial gift, but all that remains of those great -possessions are the estates where I was born. These properties were -situated on the Dnieper, in the country known as “Little Russia,” which -in former times was the seat of the Ukranian Government. My forefathers -became typical Russian noblemen; they were lavishly generous where -their inclinations were concerned, and it is asserted that one of them -once exchanged a large forest for a sporting dog which he especially -coveted! - -Revovka, my birthplace, was close to the other estates which came into -our possession through Prince Goleniktcheff Koutousoff, the hero who -saved Russia from falling into the hands of the French. It was a -delightful old house, standing in a well-wooded park, with avenues of -lime trees where the nightingales sang, and as I write, I can smell the -unforgettable perfume of the limes, and recall the beauty and peace of -the surroundings; it was, indeed, a real fairyland. All was prosperity -and happiness at Revovka. The village nestled close to the Great House, -and my ancestors were buried in the church. There were rows of little -cottages which were whitewashed every week; the roofs were thatched with -reeds, and the gardens were gay with flowers. A cherry tree stood in -every garden (cherry trees are typical of South Russia), it was the -country of cherry trees, spotless houses and simple joys. - -The peasants were on the best of terms with my family, and they regarded -my grandmother Horvat as a beneficent deity who replaced the reed roofs -when they were destroyed by fire, and who supplied them with unlimited -quantities of fuel. They were quite contented, and my grandmother still -employed some of the peasants who had once been given to her as serfs. -In the old days, it was customary to include a few serfs in a bride’s -_corbeille_, and the ten peasants who had been chosen to accompany my -grandmother to Revovka adored her. “People say that we were unhappy as -serfs,” they would often remark, “but we were always well looked -after--our landlord and our owner was also our father.” - -The peasant as master or mistress was invariably a tyrant, and I -remember hearing about a beautiful girl who had become the mistress of a -great nobleman, and who out-Heroded Herod in her arrogance. She employed -her family to do her laundry work, and she always insisted upon her -linen being rinsed in running water. If her petticoats were not -sufficiently starched, the whole batch of her relatives was flogged. -Personally, we did not resent the lack of starch, to this extent, but I -suppose that this family flogging may be regarded as typical of the -usual procedure of beggars on horseback! - -My grandmother, Mme Horvat, _née_ Baroness Pilar, was the sweetest of -women, and I loved her with a child’s passionate devotion. She used to -tell me all kinds of stories, and our old nurse ably seconded her. -Whenever we walked by the river, and I exclaimed at the beauty of the -lilies, I was thrilled anew by hearing how, long ago, when the Tartar -hordes descended on Beletskovka, the women and children used to wade -into the water, and shelter under the broad green lily-leaves until the -marauders had passed. The peasants at Revovka were extremely -superstitious, and they believed implicitly in witches and warlocks. It -was common knowledge that certain women possessed tails and bewitched -the cows, and woe betide the widow who mourned her husband too much! He -would assuredly return in the likeness of a big snake, and make an -unwelcome descent down the chimney. I was terribly scared by some of -these narratives, and I much preferred the pretty customs prevalent at -certain seasons, now vanished, alas! under the Bolshevik regime, since -the teaching of Lenin would seemingly only include the ritual of blood -in its category. - -I chiefly remember the quaint methods of divination practised on New -Year’s Eve, when the girls of the village went out to listen at the -closed doors, and those who heard a man’s name mentioned were certain to -marry within the year. They varied these proceedings by throwing their -slippers over their heads, to see if they fell in the shape of anything -that might be construed into an initial letter. Others preferred to try -and catch the rays of the moon in a towel; all pretty gay conceits, dear -to the heart of girlhood, and, on St. Catharine’s Day, cherry tree -branches were put in water, and, if the bare wood blossomed by Xmas, -then marriage bells were about to ring. - -Midsummer Day was sacred to the river, a survival doubtless of those -pagan customs which are so difficult to destroy. Large fires were -lighted along the river banks, and the village maidens, wearing wreaths, -leapt into the water, across the fires, and left the wreaths in the -river as an offering, perchance to the God of Streams. The next morning, -they set out to look for their wreaths, and those who were lucky enough -to find them discovered by the direction in which the wreath had been -washed up the way by which marriage would come. - -The storks brought luck, and they were invited to sojourn with us by -means of wheels placed in the roofs on which they built their nests. The -solemn birds were family friends, and, whenever a baby stork fell from -its nest, everyone went to enormous trouble to put it back. - -My grandmother had a passion for embroidery, and she employed from ten -to fifteen girls constantly working for her. She believed that, as a -typical industry, the art of embroidery in South Russia ought to be -revived, and she spared no pains or expense over her hobby. She proved -conclusively that the progress of the nations from East to West had left -its traces even in embroidery patterns, as she often saw similar designs -in antique carpets and Venetian work. - -None of my grandmother’s embroideries was ever sold: whenever a piece -was finished, it was labelled with the date of its commencement and -completion, and packed away in great presses, already nearly full of -exquisite work. She presented a quantity of this embroidery to the Grand -Duchess Elizabeth, the Tsaritsa’s sister, when she was received into the -Greek Church. My grandmother had the honour of acting as godmother to -the Grand Duchess, and I believe her “christening” present was much -appreciated. The embroideries were really wonderful: the designs were -never drawn, the threads only were counted, and the pattern was evolved -in this painstaking manner. Some of my grandmother’s favourite designs -were taken from Easter eggs, which were first covered with pinked-out -wax, and colour inserted in them. Snow crystals formed another -inspiration; my grandmother never tired of utilising anything -decorative, and she was unusually successful. I like to think of those -quiet days--the industrious girls, and the good feeling which existed -between the employer and the employed. It is difficult to realise that -the progress of Revolution has destroyed all this, that the great -presses have been broken open and their contents dispersed to the four -winds, and that to ask a peasant to pass her time profitably would be -accounted a sin. - -My grandmother, notwithstanding her patriarchal outlook, could be the -“grande dame” when occasion warranted, and my old nurse used to relate -how one of her neighbours, a certain Prince, came to ask her in -marriage. This gentleman believed in the impressiveness of pomp and -circumstance, so he arrived at Beletskovka in a carriage and six horses. -He was most courteously received--and refused--by my grandmother, and, -when he drove away, his horses, by some preconceived arrangement, cast -their shoes in the avenue. These “cast off” shoes were solid silver, a -mute testimony to his wealth, and, as he passed through the village, he -and his postillions distributed undreamt-of largesse. The Prince was a -haughty personage, who lived in a gorgeous mansion boasting fifty rooms. -He gave two balls yearly, when an orchestra was specially sent for from -Petrograd, a four days’ journey from his estate. But in the Prince’s -opinion nobody, save my grandmother and our family, was good enough to -associate (even as a dance partner) with him and his, so the balls were -rather tame affairs, a few couples only taking the floor, but those who -did were--like Cæsar’s wife--entirely above suspicion. - -Silver horse-shoes, expensive orchestras, and other unconsidered trifles -cost money, and, as the male members of this super-aristocratic family -were all in Hussar regiments, financial ruin eventually came as an -uninvited and unwelcome guest: it closed the doors of the castle, the -orchestra came no more, and the ladies of the house sought refuge in an -institution for noble ladies of fallen fortunes! - -My great-aunt, the Baroness Nina Pilar, was a romantic figure in my -childhood’s memories, as her name conjured up the fascination which -surrounds those who breathe and have their being in the air of Courts. -She was Lady-in-Waiting to the Empress Marie, wife of Alexander II, and -she made her appearance at Court when she was sixteen, under the -auspices of Countess Tizenhausen (another great-aunt), Grande Maîtresse -de la Cour, who brought up Felix Soumarokoff, the grandfather of Prince -Felix Yousopoff. There was a great deal of gossip about the paternity of -old Soumarokoff, who had been confided, as a baby, to Countess -Tizenhausen by an intimate friend, but nobody was ever any the wiser, -and Soumarokoff’s antecedents remained an unsolved mystery. - -The Empress Marie loved Aunt Nina, and the Emperor was very kind to her -until my innocent relative was the victim of chance, and a _costumière_. -The Emperor had become infatuated with a certain Princess Dolgorouky, -and one day, when my aunt was walking on the Quai, looking especially -attractive in a new costume, she suddenly heard a voice addressing her -in most endearing terms. She turned sharply round, and found to her -dismay that the voice was the voice of the Emperor! Explanations -followed, and my aunt discovered that Princess Dolgorouky possessed a -duplicate of her new costume, and, as their heights and figures were -similar, it was a case of mistaken identity. - -The Empress was almost always ill, but her Court was distinguished by -its elegance and refinement, and my aunt was one of the acknowledged -leaders of fashion. - -Like most pretty women, Aunt Nina had her love story, but she never -married. Her Prince Charming was the Grand Duke Nicholas, to whom she -was secretly engaged. But, when the Grand Duke asked the Emperor’s -permission to marry his inamorata, the Emperor, who had never forgiven -the contretemps on the Quai, refused his consent! - -The unhappy lovers met in Switzerland when Aunt Nina was in attendance -on the Empress, and there they bade each other farewell, and threw their -engagement rings into the lake. The Grand Duke never forgot his broken -romance, although he, like most lovers, eventually married someone else! -But he was present at my aunt’s funeral, and stood silently and -sorrowfully looking at the coffin which held many of the dreams and much -of the enchantment of his youth. - -Aunt Nina practically sacrificed her life to save that of the Empress, -although the latter died years later at Petrograd, when, it is asserted, -a luminous Cross appeared over the Winter Palace, typical of her -physical and mental sufferings. - -It so happened that when the Empress and my aunt were driving in -Switzerland, their carriage was run into by a cart, and, in order to -prevent one of the shafts from striking the Empress, my aunt stood up to -protect her, and was badly bruised in the chest. Some time afterwards -cancer developed, but my aunt survived her Imperial mistress, and became -Lady-in-Waiting to the Empress Dagmar, and Grande Maîtresse de la Cour -to the Grand Duchess Elizabeth. The Grand Duchess was very much attached -to her, and at her death she begged my grandmother to take her place. My -grandmother, for family reasons, declined the honour, but she often used -to visit the Grand Duchess and the Grand Duke Serge, and I remember -hearing her describe the pathetic figure presented by the Grand Duchess -after her husband’s assassination, when she had relinquished the -splendours of life and had become a nun at Moscow. - -My childhood was chiefly passed on my grandmother’s estates. We led a -somewhat patriarchal life at Revovka; a simple existence which will, I -fear, never again return, and it is exceedingly difficult for me, as a -Russian, to recognise the peasants of then and now. The average peasant -was kindly by nature, entirely ignorant, and excessively difficult to -educate. Whenever my grandmother tried to persuade her tenants to send -their children to school, the answer was always the same: “Knowing how -to read and write doesn’t provide food. Our parents got on very well -without education, our sons can do likewise.” Their faith in the -aristocratic class was boundless, they entirely depended on their -landlords, but the Russian peasant has always, unfortunately for -himself, been easily influenced by speeches and printed matter--hence -the complete success of the Revolutionary Propaganda, and the belief in -many of the false statements circulated in order to damage the Imperial -family in the eyes of the people. I cannot defend our own attitude in -not attempting to combat this danger; we were aware that it existed, but -only one section, known as the Black Band, tried to destroy it by -counter propaganda. Its efforts were unsuccessful, it received no -support, for the very good reason that _nobody believed that the masses -would rise_. The Russian aristocrat, secure in his class prejudices, and -his optimistic faith in _himself_, was as loth as the French aristocrat -of 1789 to realise that his position was, or could ever be, insecure! - -The South Russian peasant, as I knew him, was a poetical, simple soul. -After dinner we often used to watch the men turning their horses into -our meadows for safety, and securing the animals’ legs with chains, in -order to prevent any inclination to roam. They invariably sang whilst -making these nightly preparations, and they danced afterwards in the -bright moonlight which flooded meadows and woodland with a white -radiance. They had many quaint customs at Revovka, which may not be -uninteresting to English readers who only know the Russia of to-day as a -strange and poisonous growth, and not as the orchid which had its home -in the eternal snows--a curious simile, perhaps, but in my mind a -correct one. Our country, in many respects, was an exotic growth; -super-refinement walked cheek by jowl with ignorance, and an almost -oriental luxury brushed the skirts of poverty. It was a land of extreme -contrasts, where emotions and passions either ran riot or else were -suppressed to an undreamt-of extent. - -It was almost inconceivable at one time that the family coachman, who -obstinately turned his horses’ heads in the direction of home because he -met a white dog in the road, could ever become the Bolshevik who would -have murdered his employers instead of protecting them from the bad luck -attendant on the unwelcome animal! - -I must admit that my grandmother was as superstitious as her coachman. -She believed implicitly in dreams, and an old woman from the village was -always sent for to expound the more exciting ones. I remember that one -of her dreams had a disastrous sequel, inasmuch as it involved the -dismissal of a very devoted servant who, my grandmother dreamt, had -attempted to kill her. She resolutely declined to see him again, and he -was sent away to another estate. I supposed she was influenced in this -by the knowledge that, on several occasions, she had “dreamed true.” - -Our peasants confided all their joys and sorrows in my grandmother, and, -when any of them married, we were always invited to the wedding. This -invitation was issued on set lines; the bride-to-be, dressed in full -national costume, plentifully bedecked with flowers and ribbons, came -with her bridesmaid to the servants’ sitting-room, where she was -received by my grandmother. The girl thereupon knelt, and bowed three -times, informing my relation what an honour our presence would confer on -her family, and, gratified by the assurance that we would promise to -come, she withdrew, all smiles! After the ceremony, which always took -place on a Sunday, the whole of the wedding party came back to our house -and assembled on the terrace, where a village orchestra discoursed -strange sweet sounds, and where unwearied dancing enlivened the music -and singing. We always gave one kind of present--a cow! When I married, -our employees surpassed themselves and gave me, not a cow, but two oxen! - -We fasted on Christmas Eve until the first star appeared, when we -partook of a heavy supper of which the fifteen courses always included -fish. Hay was strewn under the tablecloth to remind us of the humility -of the Manger, and it was customary for the children to carry the -Christmas supper to their friends and relations. All the windows of the -Chateau were darkened, but one was left open, and, when the first star -appeared in the serene sky, this window was illuminated in honour of the -Christ-Child. It was then that the children arrived “en masse,” carrying -revolving paper transparencies adorned with pictures of Christ; it was -one illuminated stream of little children, and one of the prettiest -sights imaginable. - -New Year’s Day was an occasion for general rejoicing, when the men of -the village assembled on the terrace to congratulate us, throwing wheat -in our pathway as a sign of prosperity. We then witnessed the procession -of our servants, who filed past us, accompanied by their special -charges. First, came the stablemen leading the horses, who, in addition -to being superlatively well-groomed, were adorned with gilt crowns and -many ribbons. Then came the herdsmen with their grave-eyed steers, whose -horns were gilded in honour of the New Year; the sheep were accompanied -by the shepherds, and the cortège was terminated by the poultry maid, -who escorted a turkey smothered in ribbons. - -On the first New Year’s Day after the Revolution, the crowd came to the -Chateau as usual, but there was no procession of animals, no smiling -faces, and no wheat-strewn pathway. We were confronted by scowling -peasants, who roughly informed us that henceforth nothing belonged to -us, since they were masters. But to do our own people justice, the -better minded amongst them absented themselves, and only the worst -characters were in evidence--and these, in their turn, were under the -evil influences rampant in towns. I have no hesitation in stating that -the motive power in the destruction of Russia emanated, and still -emanates, from the Jews. - -When the snows began to melt, the children and young people heralded the -approach of Spring with song. Joining hands, they wandered singing in -the twilight, a lovely, living chain of Youth in its Spring-time. They -repeated these songs at Easter, that wonderful festival of Resurrection -and the rebirth of Nature. On Holy Thursday the Gospels were read in the -churches until midnight, and everyone carried a taper. My mother’s -estates were situated in the mountains, and it was a picturesque sight -when the peasants wended their way churchwards at Easter. The church was -half-way up a steep ascent, and the procession of taper-bearers could be -traced by hundreds of lights, as two villages participated in the -ceremony. - -Revovka was an entrancing home for a child blessed, as I was, with an -imaginative temperament. We had our particular White Lady, a tragic -phantom who haunted the Park, and who used to swing in the branches of -the lime trees. She had been the mistress of one of my great-uncles, and -she was buried in the Park. No one seemed to know her fate, but it was -said that she was beautiful and unhappy. Her grave was marked with a -flat stone, without any inscription, as the poor little creature had -sought refuge from love and life in self-destruction. But Nature was -kinder to her than Man, and an enormous bush of wild roses threw out -caressing arms towards the cold stones, and showered pink petal-tears on -the unhonoured dead. - -There was a similar forgotten grave on my father’s property, formerly a -hunting-box of the Kings of Poland. The occupant of this grave had been -the mistress of a king, and, like the beauty of Revovka, she had killed -herself; but she was a restless spirit, and she used to haunt the Park -and the house in the summer, running swiftly across the greensward, -wearing little scarlet slippers and darting up the staircase, her -scarlet heels tap-tapping as she went her way, unsubstantial and -fantastic as the morning mist. - -I used to dream all kinds of dreams, but I never anticipated what -Destiny held in store for me. I was, by nature, timid; I was to become -courageous through force of another’s shining example. I was to see and -experience the real meaning of selfless love, and I was to know the -comfort and beauty of religion. I do not say that I was irreligious--few -Russians are really irreligious--our Belief is too deeply rooted--but I -did not yet understand the meaning of the word Faith. - -I always looked forward to our yearly pilgrimage to the Convent of -Tchigrin, twenty-five miles away from Revovka. Custom ordained that we -should proceed thither on foot, but the carriage invariably went with -us! The convent contained a miraculous Virgin which, when the Turks -pillaged Tchigrin, had been taken away by them. One day a disconsolate -nun walking on the river’s bank saw something floating on the surface of -the water. The Virgin had returned to her convent, and from that time it -became the scene of wonderful miracles, and many pilgrimages. I liked -Tchigrin; it breathed an atmosphere of calm, standing alone in the midst -of dense pine woods. But the wind, which respects neither convents nor -humanity, was occasionally unkind to Tchigrin, as it swept away the sand -which filled the crevices of the walls, almost like natural mortar, and -the nuns daily brought bags of sand wherewith to repair the damage. This -sand-carrying was an especial duty connected with Tchigrin, and -occasionally it was a penance--but I think those simple creatures rarely -deserved punishment. - -I have perhaps devoted too much time to the festivals, ghosts and -unexciting incidents of a country life. But I have done this in order to -explain many subsequent happenings which would be otherwise -incomprehensible to an English public. These events cannot, and must -not, be judged entirely from an English standpoint. We are a race -apart, our country is one of extreme mysticism and superstition. It is a -land of miracles, where the holy pictures are believed to shed tears, -and where every village possesses its seer and its saint. It would be -possible to cover the length and breadth of England in a week’s motoring -tour, thus England is of necessity more circumscribed. One could not see -Russia in such a manner. It is a country of vast distances, of densely -populated cities, and lonely tracts which extend for thousands of miles. -You cannot contrast the mode of life prevalent at Tooting with that of -Tobolsk, or compare the customs of Moscow with those of Manchester. Our -upbringing is entirely un-English. True, we are citizens of the world, -we are indeed cosmopolitan, but--once a Russian, always a Russian. The -Tsaritsa told me that, when she first came to Russia, she was greatly -surprised to find that Russian servants did not understand the art of -blackleading grates. She had always been accustomed to see shining -grates in England when she stayed with her grandmother at Windsor--in -Petrograd, shining grates were non-existent. We are miles apart from -English ways in little things like these, and no Englishwoman worthy of -the name has ever been known to be ignorant of the use of blacklead. But -_we_ ought not to be condemned for the non-recognition of its virtue. It -is merely a question of outlook. In connection with these differences of -outlook, I cannot do better than quote the words of a contributor to the -“Daily Mail”; they will plead for my opinions, as the writer possesses -the peculiar gift of racial and temperamental understanding: - -“We have,” he writes, “in England a cold fish-minded way of affecting to -laugh at what we are prone to call local superstition. Let me tell you -that this point of view will not work in Africa.” (He is dealing, I -fancy, with Morocco.) “What is obviously a childish hallucination in -Hampstead or Newcastle is sober reality under this immense blue sky. You -can disbelieve a lot of truths you do not understand as you strap-hang -homewards, but you will learn to believe everything in Africa.” - -Might not this also apply to Russia? - - - - -CHAPTER II - - -My childhood and early girlhood were passed quietly at Revovka and the -Crimea. But I loved Revovka, and, whenever I went to stay with my uncle -at Livadia, I took with me a little earth from the place which, to me, -represented home. The great event at Revovka was the visit of my uncle -Horvat, who came from Siberia to see my grandmother once a year. He was -head of the Siberian railways, and occupied a political position which -corresponded with that of a Viceroy of Ireland. He was a typical Horvat, -tall, with deep, kind eyes, and he was also a very clever man. On the -night of his arrival I never went to bed, and I remember that we saw the -dawn together; he did not reach Revovka until 3 a.m. It was touching to -witness his meeting with my grandmother. They were entirely “en -rapport,” and he was my greatest friend as well as my much loved uncle. - -I never went to school. My first tutor was a priest, but, as I hardly -knew Russian (we always spoke French at home) and he knew no French, I -made little progress; afterwards Miss Ripe, an English governess, took -me in hand, but I think she looked upon us as very much behind the -times. The old house was protected at night by a watchman, and I -regarded his intermittent coughing and his heavy tread somewhat as a -lullaby. Whenever he went to the next town by boat, the watchman -“called” my grandmother’s maid in a very curious manner. He was an -illiterate peasant, and time, as time, conveyed no meaning to him, so he -would occasionally tap on the maid’s window and tell her that such and -such a star was in the sky. By this simple calculation she was enabled -to judge how much longer it was permissible for her to remain in bed. - -Winter was a delightful season at Revovka, and I always wanted to be -decorative, and drive out in the antique sledges which were painted with -trails of flowers, and magnificently gilded. The modern sledges, covered -with carpet, and piled up with bear skins, were not nearly so pretty. -English people always associate sledges with wolves, and imagine that a -winter’s drive in Russia is fraught with desperate danger. The wolf -terror is fast becoming a legend; wolves are now only found in districts -far from the haunts of men, although an old custom at Revovka ordained -that lanterns were hung outside the stables at night to scare away the -wolves! But I met a wolf unawares one evening when I was crossing the -park. I had never seen one of our national animals face to face, so I -thought that the big grey creature was a dog. I called it, and ran -towards it, desirous of its better acquaintance, but it merely regarded -me with furtive, unfriendly, green eyes, and then turned and trotted -away in the opposite direction. When I reached the house, I described my -encounter with the strange dog, but, greatly to my surprise, my story -produced general excitement, and a search-party set forth to look for -the foot-prints in the snow. These proved to be typical wolf marks, -exactly like the print of a thumb, but our visitor had, by this time, -completely disappeared. - -When I was a young girl the disaffection in Russia was already well on -the way to Revolution. In 1905, when I was staying with one of my uncles -in Livadia who had charge of the Emperor’s estates at Yalta, we were not -left long in ignorance as to the methods which were employed by the -Revolutionary Agents. It is now well known that most of the seeds of -Revolution were sown at Yalta, but it was dreadful to see the boats -smothered in red flags and to hear the Marseillaise sung defiantly from -the water, since my uncle had prohibited all political meetings on land. -One day, it was discovered that the golden eagles which marked the -boundaries of the Emperor’s estate had been broken and overthrown, but -this act of vandalism was always attributed to the Jews and the more -hot-headed of the students. There was general excitement in the Crimea -at this time, and a few of the Revolutionary printing presses were -secretly set up at the Grand Duke Constantine’s Castle of Orianda, which -for some reason had fallen into decay. It had always been my ambition to -visit the ruins of Orianda, so one day I persuaded my cousins to -accompany me thither. It was a forbidden expedition, but we considered -the possible results of our disobedience would be amply compensated for -by the mysteries of the underground passages, which we at once began to -explore. As we neared the end of one of these the sound of distant -voices broke the stillness, and, terrified out of our wits, we did not -know whether to beat a retreat or to dare all and discover whence the -sound proceeded. Curiosity eventually conquered cowardice, and we crept -cautiously along until the darkness was lit up by a glow of a large -fire. Thinking that we had now reached the entrance to the infernal -regions we turned and fled precipitately, and, risking punishment, -described the whereabouts of Hell to my uncle. And Hell, in a way, it -proved to be, as it was discovered that secret printing presses existed -underground, and that most of the evil propaganda had emanated from -Orianda. - -Although the Jews instigated much of the prevalent sedition, the biter -was occasionally bit, and in 1905 there was serious trouble. Many people -assert that the actual Revolution began by beating the Jews, as some of -the soldiers returning from the war became very unruly, and set about -the Jews most unmercifully. - -My mother, who had married as her second husband an officer in a -regiment stationed near us, received news of the trouble just at the -moment when we were starting to drive into town. But she rather -pooh-poohed the warning, until she saw for herself that the report was -not exaggerated. We first encountered people fleeing through the fields, -and, when at last we reached civilisation, we found the town in a state -of confusion. Windows were broken, Jewish shops pillaged, and the -leaders, regardless of the protesting Hebrews, seized their goods and -distributed them broadcast to the mob. The black and white praying robes -peculiar to the Jews were in special request, as pieces of these, worn -next to the skin, were supposed to render the wearer immune from marsh -fever. - -Next day, when I was walking in the Park, I found myself close to the -walled-in right of way which traversed it, and, to my surprise and -horror, I heard the passers-by giving vent to most undreamt-of -declarations. “It’s the Jews _now_,” said someone, uttering a curse, -“but wait until the next time. We have our orders: soon it will be the -turn of the landed proprietors!” - -The speaker spoke the truth. Some days later fires and pillage broke out -around my home, and, from the terrace at Revovka, we could see an ever -widening circle of flame, and our peasants informed us that, most -assuredly, Revovka would suffer next. But we escaped, although the house -of Madame Tchebotaiff, a great landowner and Revolutionist, was one of -the first to be destroyed. She was afterwards sent to Siberia, a rather -ironical form of justice, I am inclined to think! - -When all was calm, the Duma came into existence, in which -representatives of every class met in Parliament for the first time. -Troops were sent to punish the peasants, and many of them were flogged -by the soldiers. Our peasants were not included amongst the offenders. -The idea of whipping human beings was repellent to me, and, girl though -I was, I felt that we, as a class, were responsible for the existence of -many evils, and that it lay with us to try and remedy them. But whipping -was applied to the guilty as the most effectual and the most easily -understood antidote against rebellion: it is a barbarous punishment--in -English eyes it must seem _utterly_ so; but these whippings were as -naught compared with the savagery and super-refinement of torture -inflicted later by the whipped upon the whippers. - -But my attention was soon to be diverted from rebellion and punishment. -Shortly afterwards I went with my grandmother to Petrograd, where my -marriage was arranged; in fact, I was already engaged when I was -presented at Court. My fiancé was Captain Charles Dehn, of Swedish -descent, whose ancestors had come into the northern provinces at the -time of the Crusades, and the members of whose family were mostly -generals or officers in the service of the State. Captain Dehn had taken -part in quelling the Boxer Rebellion, and at the siege of Pekin he was -the first officer to scale the walls of the Forbidden City in defence of -the embassies. For this service he received the Order of St. George (the -Russian Victoria Cross), and the Order of the Legion of Honour was -awarded him by the ambassadors of the various nations represented in -Pekin. - -On his arrival at Petrograd he was presented to the Emperor, who -appointed him an officer on the “Standart,” and an officer of the Mixed -Guard, whose members were chosen from various regiments, and many of -whom were honoured by the personal friendship of the Emperor. - -Captain Dehn was a great favourite with the little Tsarevitch and the -Grand Duchesses, and he used to play with them in their nurseries, his -nickname with the children being “Pekin Dehn.” Both the Emperor and the -Empress manifested the greatest interest in his engagement, and the -Empress intimated to my grandmother that she wished to make my personal -acquaintance. - -My engagement was formally announced in 1907, but we waited in Petrograd -for a month before we were received by the Empress. The Grand Duchess -Anastasie was ill with diphtheria, and the Empress was nursing her at -the Alexandria Palace, Peterhof, where, until all danger of infection -had passed, she had isolated herself from the other members of the -Imperial family. - -How well I remember that first meeting with one whom I was to love so -devotedly, and whose constant friendship has been one of my greatest -joys. One summer morning in July, my grandmother and I arrived at the -station at Peterhof, where my fiancé and a Court carriage were awaiting -us. I was literally trembling with terror, and I was too excited to even -notice Charles! - -We duly reached the Alexandria Palace, but, as the Empress was still -nervous about infection, it had been arranged that my presentation -should take place in the Winter Garden attached to the Palace. We were -received at the Palace by the Mistress of the Household, Princess -Golitzin, who was exactly like an old picture, and whose adherence to -regime made everyone dread being guilty of the smallest lapse of -etiquette. But she was very kind and gracious to us, and I felt somehow -that my simple white gown from Bressac’s, and my rose-trimmed hat had -met with her approval. As we walked through the Park to the Winter -Garden I noticed a lady in one of the avenues, who stopped and looked at -me intently. She was “petite,” with an innocent baby face, and great -appealing eyes, and so childish-looking in fact that she seemed only fit -for boarding school. This lady was Anna Virouboff whose name was later -to become associated with that of Rasputin, and whose friendship with -the Empress has given rise to so many unwarrantable statements and -scandalous stories. - -I returned her scrutiny with interest, and we passed on with the -Princess to the Winter Garden, a lovely tropical place, full of flowers -and palms. It was exactly like a Garden of Dreams, at least I thought so -until I saw the prosaically comfortable garden chairs, and noticed some -toys and a child’s dolls’-house. Then I decided that this beautiful -garden must be real! - -At last, advancing slowly through the masses of greenery, came a tall -and slender figure. It was the Empress! I looked at her, admiration in -my heart and in my eyes. I had never imagined her half so fair. And I -shall never forget her beauty as I saw her on that July morning, -although the Empress of many sorrows remains with me more as a pathetic -and holy memory. - -The Empress was dressed entirely in white, with a thin white veil draped -round her hat. Her complexion was delicately fair, but when she was -excited her cheeks were suffused with a faint rose flush. Her hair was -reddish gold, her eyes--those infinitely tragic eyes--were dark blue, -and her figure was as supple as a willow wand. I remember that her -pearls were magnificent, and that diamond ear-rings flashed coloured -fires whenever she moved her head. She wore a simple little ring bearing -the emblem of the Swastika, her favourite symbol, and one which has -given rise to so many conjectures, and been quoted triumphantly as proof -positive of her leanings towards the occult by those who are ignorant of -what it really meant to her. - -Directly Princess Golitzin had left us alone, the Empress extended her -hand for my grandmother and me to kiss; then, with a sweet smile, and a -world of kindness in her eyes, “Sit down,” she said, and, turning to -Captain Dehn: “When is the marriage to take place?” she enquired. - -My nervousness had vanished. I was no longer afraid; in fact it was the -Empress who seemed shy, but she was, I found later, always shy with -strangers, a trait peculiar to her and to her cousin, the Princess -Royal, Duchess of Fife. However, this excessive shyness was not -accounted as shyness in Petrograd, it was called German -superciliousness! and as such it has even been described by some English -writers. - -The Empress talked to my grandmother for quite a long time, as she was -anxious to hear the latest news of the Grand Duchess Elizabeth; she then -chatted to my fiancé, and I noticed that she spoke Russian with a strong -English accent. She afterwards addressed me as the blushing heroine of -the morning, and she seemed quite pleased at the interest which I had -displayed in the dolls’-house. - -“Where are you going to spend your honeymoon?” she said, her blue eyes -now mischievous. We told her. “Ah!... I do hope that I shall see you -again very soon. I am quite alone, I cannot see my husband or my -children, I shall be so glad when this tiresome quarantine is over, and -we can be together again.” - -Our interview lasted well over half an hour. The Empress spoke French to -my grandmother and me, she made no attempt to converse in German; then -she rose to say good-bye, and we kissed hands. “I shall see you again -very soon,” she repeated. “Be sure you let me know when you return.” - -I went back to Petrograd almost beside myself with happiness. Mine was -not the worldly pleasure of one who had been presented to an Empress. My -happiness had its origin in another source. I felt instinctively that I -had found a friend, someone I could love, and who, I dared hope, might -love me! I was so tired out with my emotions that, on arriving home, I -threw myself on my bed, regardless of my Bressac dress and my -rose-wreathed hat, and I slept the sleep of exhaustion until four in the -afternoon. - -I was married two months later from my aunt’s house in Livadia. - -The Emperor received Captain Dehn before he left for the Crimea, blessed -him, and gave him a beautiful ikon in a carved silver and gold frame. -The Empress also presented him with an ikon, and, on our wedding day, we -received a “wireless” from them, wishing us every happiness. This -“wireless,” so we heard afterwards, caused endless talk and many petty -jealousies, as “wireless,” then in its infancy, was only supposed to be -used for important official communications. - -We went to the Caucasus for our honeymoon and stayed three weeks in the -mountains among the vines. It was the season of Autumn, and he had cast -his flaming many-coloured mantle over everything. The wildness and -luxuriance of that mountain region entranced me. I insisted upon being -told all the legends connected with the locality, and I believed, with -the peasants, that it was possible to hear the hoofs of the Centaurs, as -they thundered down the passes in the silence of night. Gagree was an -ideal place for a honeymoon, and I was actually sorry to return to my -beloved Revovka, although we received a right royal welcome from my -grandmother and her tenants. - -Revovka was fifteen miles from the nearest railway station, but the -whole of the way to our estate was illuminated with blazing tar barrels, -and at every turn of the road we were offered bread and salt. Needless -to say, the drive was a little protracted, and the _pièce de résistance_ -consisted in the two oxen which were presented to us at the journey’s -end. - -My married life began under the most auspicious circumstances. Charles -had promised me that he would always remain in the Emperor’s Personal -Guard, and I possessed a subconscious intuition that my future was to be -closely connected with that of the Imperial family. This feeling did not -arise from any worldly outlook, I never had any idea of the material -benefits which might accrue to us through the Emperor’s regard for my -husband. My first meeting with the Empress had influenced me in an -undreamt-of manner. Although I felt it was ridiculous to associate any -idea of sorrow with that radiant vision of the Winter Garden, I had, -nevertheless, a strong feeling of fatality in connection with her. Time -was destined to prove that my presentiment was right. - -Our first home was in the Anitchkoff Palace, the residence of the -Dowager Empress Marie, where the Guards had their quarters, but -afterwards we moved to Tsarkoe Selo. Our house was immediately opposite -the Palace, and close to the barracks. The officers of the Personal -Guard were most picturesque individuals, since each wore the uniform of -the regiment from which he had been selected. There was no distinctive -uniform; to be a member of the Guard was, in itself, an honour. - -I used often to walk in the great Park of Tsarkoe Selo when my husband -was on duty. The Palace dates from the time of Catherine the Great, and -all the important receptions were held there. The Imperial family lived -in the Alexander Palace, a white building in the style of the First -Empire; the Palace had four entrances, the first was exclusively used by -Their Majesties, two others were used for receptions, and the fourth was -the entrance by which the Suite went to and fro. The Palace was entirely -surrounded by the Park, in which was some beautiful ornamental water, a -Chinese pavilion, and a bridge which connected the smaller park with -that of the more important Palace. - -As a young married woman, blessed with many kind relations and friends, -it was not long before I took my place in Petrograd society. In 1907, -one year after the Japanese war, life was not gay as many families were -still in mourning, so those who looked for Court gaieties were -disappointed--none being forthcoming. The Empress felt that the war was -of too recent a date to warrant much entertaining; she was entirely -sincere in this conviction, but her attitude did not meet with general -approval. It was argued by the anti-Tsaritsa clique that an Empress of -Russia belonged to Society, and not to herself. Her duty was merely to -pose as a magnificent figure-head on the barque of pleasure--the war was -over, and the world of Society wanted its ceaseless round of empty -pleasures once again. - -Petrograd Society was divided into many sets; each Grand Ducal Court had -its own particular clique, and that of the Grand Duchess Marie, wife of -the Grand Duke Vladimir, was perhaps specially joyous. The Grand Dukes, -taken as a whole, led amusing lives; they were usually very handsome -men--quite heroes of romance, many of them possessing a great admiration -for the Imperial Ballet, in which they had various fair friends. - -It was an expensive existence even in 1907, when Petrograd was supposed -to be dull! People went every Sunday to the Ballet, and on Saturdays to -the Théatre Français--this, a most fashionable rendezvous, where -extremely decolleté toilettes were compensated for by an abundance of -jewels! After the play, it was customary to adjourn to the Restaurant -Cuba, or to that of L’ours, where a wonderful Roumanian orchestra -enlivened supper; nobody thought of leaving the restaurants until three -in the morning, and the officers usually remained until five! -Occasionally, when I returned home in the early hours, I contrasted the -dawn at Revovka with that of Petrograd; the same pearl, rose and silver -tints painted the sky, but the dawn in South Russia witnessed no flight -of human butterflies whose wings had been singed in the flame of -pleasure. I was young enough to enjoy life, but at times our restless -gaiety seemed to hold a hidden menace. - -English was the medium of conversation in Society at Petrograd; it was -invariably spoken at Court, and, although once fashionable to have -German nurses, the fashion in 1907 was to have only English ones, and -many Russians who could not speak English spoke French with an English -accent! The great shopping centre was “Druce’s” where one met one’s -friends, and bought English soaps, perfumery and dresses. The “Druce -habit” primarily emanated from Court where everything English was in -special favour--Jewish Society and that of the “haute finance” existed -in Petrograd, but neither touched us. - -The great enlivenments of the Season after the Japanese war were the -Charity Bazaars. The Grand Duchess Marie always organised one in the -Assemblée de la Noblesse, a huge building where an ultra-smart throng of -Society leaders sold all kinds of pretty and expensive trifles. The -Grand Duchess Marie (who was a German Princess) occupied the centre of -the room, and sold at her own table. She was a tall, striking-looking -woman, but not so handsome as the Grand Duchess Cyril at whose table I -occasionally assisted. All the Grand Duchesses had tables, as was the -case with the greater and lesser lights of Society. In fact the position -of one’s table was the index to one’s position in Society. The bazaars -were brilliant functions, the toilettes were wonderful, and it was quite -the usual thing to change one’s gown three times during the day. The air -was heavy with perfume, flowers were lavishly displayed, and the tired -vendors occasionally refreshed themselves with the best brands of -champagne. - -The Empress had her own table at the Assemblée de la Noblesse, and I -sold at it once. She made quantities of things herself, instead of -sending haphazard orders to Paris or London. The homely intimacy of her -nature was very evident in this habit, nothing at her table was useless; -she was true to type, the type of Queen Victoria’s descendants, the -Empress shared Queen Mary of England’s love for needlework, and, like -her, crocheted many pretty “woollies” for bazaars. - - - - -CHAPTER III - - -Almost immediately after my arrival at Tsarkoe Selo, I made the -acquaintance of Anna Virouboff, the Lady of the Avenue, and my distant -cousin, as her grandfather and my grandmother were related. - -It is exceedingly difficult for me to discuss Anna Virouboff, as I am -confronted with the tremendous prejudice which exists against her. In -England she appears to be a Borgia-like heroine of the films, an -hysterical sensualist, the mistress of Rasputin, and the evil genius of -the Empress. Her political power is supposed to have been that of a -Sarah Jennings and a Catherine Dashkoff, and her influence at Court -paramount. - -If I deny these charges, I shall lay myself open to the accusation of -blind partisanship, and I shall be deemed an utterly untrustworthy -chronicler; but, notwithstanding these possibilities, I can do no less -than speak of Anna Virouboff as I knew her from 1907 until the day in -March, 1917, when we were both removed from Tsarkoe Selo by order of -Kerensky. - -Anna’s father, General Tanief, was Honorary Secretary of State, and all -her family were connected with officers in the Imperial House. She -married the same year as myself, but before her marriage she was deeply -in love with General Orloff, who commanded the Lancers, and who was a -great friend of the Empress. Rightly or wrongly, Her Majesty thought -that General Orloff would be too old a husband for Anna, and, although -the General loved her, and desired nothing better than to marry her, -Anna yielded her will to that of the Empress, and accepted Lieutenant -Virouboff, to whom she was married in the Palace Chapel at Tsarkoe Selo. -The union turned out a complete failure, and I believe that the -Empress’s original interest in Anna was intensified by the fact that she -was indirectly responsible for this unhappy marriage. The Empress -accepted what she considered to be her responsibilities very seriously, -as her salient characteristics were thoroughness and a fine sense of -justice. It was not difficult for her to show more kindness to one whom -she already loved, and whose unhappiness was now so poignant. Anna was -one of those beings who always look as if someone has hurt them; one -wanted to “mother” Anna, to amuse her, to hear her confidences, and to -laugh at her exaggerated joys and sorrows. - -In appearance, Anna is a person entirely different from the Anna -Virouboff of the films and the novel, and she even dares to differ from -more serious descriptions of her. She is of middle height, with brownish -hair, large, appealing, long-lashed, grey-blue eyes, and a little -turned-up nose. She has a baby face, all pink and white, and, alas for -the Vampire the Anna of romance, she was then very fat. But her smile -was charming, and her mouth pretty; she was weak as water, as clinging -as the most obstinate ivy, and the Empress treated her much in the way -that one treats a helpless child. Anna was - -[Illustration: ANNA (‘ANIA’) VIROUBOFF] - -excessively good-natured, always ready to help others, in whom she was -never able to see evil. This virtue (for I suppose it is accounted a -virtue) was the ultimate downfall of Anna. She was too credulous, and, -therefore, too easily imposed on. She adored the Imperial Family with -the devotion of an adherent of the Stuarts, but--and now I am about to -make a statement which will be probably treated with derision--_she -possessed no political influence whatever_; she could not influence the -Empress one hair’s breadth; the Empress petted her, teased her, and -scolded her, but she never sought Anna’s advice, save in questions of -charity. - -The Empress and her former Lady-in-Waiting were, however, one where -religion was concerned; they shared the same religious sympathies in the -midst of an unsympathetic and jealous entourage, and, as Anna did not -get on well with the entourage, this fact gave the Empress an additional -reason to protect her friend. Anna told me that some of the -Ladies-in-Waiting disliked the Empress solely on account of her -friendship with her, and, although she had told the Empress that, were -she given an official position, all jealousies and comments would be -silenced, the Empress had refused to entertain the suggestion. - -Later on, when I became on intimate terms with the Empress, she gave me -the reason for her refusal. - -“I will never give Anna an official position,” she said. “She is my -friend, I wish to retain her as such. Surely an Empress is allowed the -right of a woman to choose her friends. I assure you, Lili, I value my -few real friends more than many of the persons in my entourage.” - -Four years after her marriage, Anna met with a train accident. She never -again walked without crutches, her body was completely deformed, but -even then slander did not spare her, and evil tongues in Petrograd -asserted that, as well as being the friend of the Empress, Anna -Virouboff was the mistress of the Emperor!! After her accident, the -Empress gave Anna a carriage and pair, and often drove out with her. She -lived in a pretty little house which had once belonged to Alexander I, -and she usually lunched at home, after spending the morning at the -Palace. “The children” liked her, everyone who really knew her liked -her, and the best proof of her absolute harmlessness lies in the fact -that after the Revolution she was never condemned to death. Surely, if -she had been such an evil creature, the first action of those in -authority would have been to destroy her? But Anna Virouboff lives, and -perhaps one day she will defend herself. - -One Monday, shortly after my marriage, I received a note from Anna, -asking me to dine with her that evening. Captain Dehn had been in -Petrograd for several days, and, as I was rather lonely, I was glad to -accept. The dinner was very gay, several officers had been invited, and -Emma Fredericks, the daughter of the Minister of the Court, was also a -guest. At half-past nine, we heard the sound of wheels, and a carriage -stopped outside the house. Anna instantly left the salon, and, a few -minutes after, the door opened, and, to our great astonishment, the -Emperor, the Empress and the Grand Duchesses entered. They were all -laughing, as this surprise visit had been arranged by the Empress, who, -seating herself, told us to do likewise, and motioned me to come to her. - -“I told you that I should see you again very soon,” she said, smiling, -and thereupon she began to talk in the most friendly and simple manner. - -Once again I had that curious, inexplicable foreboding of tragedy, but -no tragedy lurked in that bright, gay room, and my gloomy thoughts were -soon dispelled when I was presented to the Emperor. - -This was the first occasion on which I had spoken to His Majesty, and I -found him as charming and friendly as the Empress. His kind eyes, and -his smile, struck me at once, he seemed to move in an aura of goodwill, -and his peculiar fascinating charm of manner has been admitted even by -his enemies, as M. Kerensky acknowledged that the Emperor possessed one -of the noblest natures he ever met! - -The Emperor, who bore a striking likeness to his cousin, King George of -England, was a very amusing conversationalist, and blessed with a keen -sense of humour. He instantly put me at my ease, and I made the -acquaintance also of the Grand Duchesses, then quite girls, with whom I -was later to become on terms of the closest friendship. - -The Empress, having expressed a wish to play Halma, we had two or three -games; she was greatly addicted to Halma, but she had one little lovable -weakness in connection with it. She never liked to lose! The Emperor -played dominoes in the next room, and afterwards Emma Fredericks sang, -the Empress accompanying her. Her Majesty was a very good pianist, and -played with rare feeling, but her excessive shyness often precluded her -from playing in the presence of others. At midnight the Imperial family -took their departure, and the Empress whispered to me: “Au revoir, we -shall meet to-morrow.” - -She did not forget. I was commanded to go to the Palace on the morrow. -It was Tuesday, and I remember how pleased I was. “Everything nice -happens on a Tuesday,” I kept saying, for this was an old belief of -mine. - -After my meeting with the Empress at Anna’s house, I often went to -Tsarkoe Selo, and the Grand Duchesses and I used to ride on the wooden -switchback, which was set up in one part of the Palace. It was -tremendous fun, and we slid and played together for hours, but I quite -forgot that I was a married woman and that I had hopes of becoming a -mother in some months’ time. However, the Empress had some idea of my -condition, and one day, after she and Anna had been watching our -performance on the switchback, Anna drew me aside. - -“Lili,” she said, “I’ve a message for you. The Empress wants you to be -very careful just now.” She held up a playful finger. “So no more -switchback!” - -During the months that followed, the Empress manifested the greatest -kindness towards me. She insisted upon her own doctor attending me, and, -when the Imperial family went yachting about a fortnight before the -birth of my baby, my husband received orders to absent himself from the -“Standart,” and to remain with me instead. This act of consideration -was due to the Empress, and it caused, like the “wireless,” much petty -jealousy and a good deal of comment. - -But the expected baby delayed his arrival, and, when the Imperial family -returned to Tsarkoe Selo, the Emperor’s first words to my husband were: - -“Has the baby come?” - -“No, Sire, not yet.” - -“Well, well, don’t worry, Dehn, these things will happen, you know.” - -However, the baby arrived next morning, and shortly afterwards Anna -Virouboff came to make enquiries on behalf of the Empress, bringing with -her two lovely ikons, and a package done up in tissue paper and covered -with masses of rambler roses. The package contained a thin, fleecy -shawl, and my happiness was complete when Anna told me that the Empress -wished to be my son’s godmother. - -This was a great honour, but it presented difficulties, inasmuch as the -Dehns, in order to benefit from certain family monies, were obliged to -be baptized as Lutherans. The Empress was told about this, and, although -she made no objection at the time, I was to discover later how deeply -she was imbued with the faith of her adopted country. At the first -christening, the Empress attended in person, and held the baby, now -known as Alexander Leonide. She gave me a beautiful sapphire and diamond -brooch, and all kinds of presents, and for seven years the question of -the child’s religion was never mooted between us. But, at the end of -that time, the Empress told me that her dearest wish was that “Titi” -(as she called him) should be received into the Greek Church. - -“It is more than a wish, Lili,” she said earnestly, “it is a command. I -insist upon my godson being Orthodox. He must be baptized before -Christmas.” - -This quiet persistency seems to me to afford one of the most conclusive -proofs of how Russian the Empress had become. It may be argued that most -converts are usually fanatics, but this was not so in her case. With -that “thoroughness” which I have mentioned as one of her chief -characteristics, the Empress was now more Russian than most Russians, -more Orthodox than the most Orthodox. She was intensely religious. Her -love of God and her belief in His mercy came before her love of her -husband and her children, and she found her greatest happiness in -religion at a time when she was surrounded by the panoply of Imperial -splendour. She was to derive consolation from her religion throughout -the Via Dolorosa of the saddened years, and, if it is indeed true that -she met death in the noisome cellar-room at Ekaterinburg, I am sure that -the same ardent faith sustained her in that last moment of agony. She -told me that she had hesitated to accept the Emperor’s offer of marriage -until she felt that her conscience would allow her to do so and she -could say with truth: “Thy country shall be my country, thy people my -people, and thy God my God.” - -Titi’s second baptism took place during the war at the St. Theodor -Cathedral. I had come to Tsarkoe Selo from Reval, and the ceremony took -place at 8 in the morning. The Grand Duchesses Marie and Anastasie were -present at the first service, but the Empress, previously indisposed, -came with the Emperor and the suite to the second service, and -afterwards took Holy Communion. Titi was obliged to remain during both -services, but he was a good little boy, and he held his lighted candle -carefully and firmly the whole time. - -After the service we went back to the Palace, and the Empress displayed -more emotion than she had done at the first christening. I could see how -deeply the religious question had affected her all these years. She told -me how relieved she was, how pleased, how she felt now that all was well -with the child, and she gave her godson a wonderful ikon of St. -Alexander and a Cross engraved with her initials. - -But I must return to the earlier days--I have wandered from my narrative -to give this example of how Russian the Empress was at heart; hers was -no eye-service--to know her made it impossible to doubt her genuineness. - -The Empress was always sweet with Titi. She adored children, and she -often came to my house, when she nursed the baby and whistled to him. -This amused her, and she declared that Titi knew her whistle and always -opened his eyes whenever he heard it. I remember that on the morning -after the “Lutheran” baptism the Empress paid me a surprise visit. - -“I’ve come to see the baby,” she said. “Let me go to the nursery and -fetch him.” - -I followed her upstairs, and she took Titi out of his cot and carried -him to the drawing-room, where she played with him for an hour, sitting -on the carpet to do so. - -I think I am right in saying that our affectionate friendship began from -the birth of Titi. It was then that the Empress first called me “Lili,” -and as “Lili” I caused much mystification during the Revolution, when -this signature was supposed to possess some cryptic meaning. - -The Imperial Family spent part of that year in Finland, whither my -husband accompanied them, and I and the baby went to stay with his -parents. I was at Petrograd during the winter, and I saw a great deal of -the Imperial Family, and learned to love them all. They led the simplest -of lives; the Emperor often amused himself during the evening with a -game of dominoes, and I worked with the Empress and her daughters. It -was a real “vie de famille,” the life which appealed to them as -individuals, but not the life which appeals to the smart world, with -which the Empress had so little in common. This was my first Christmas -at Petrograd, and I determined to have a little tree in Titi’s honour. I -came in from my shopping late in the afternoon of Christmas Eve, and at -6 o’clock a courier arrived with a large box full of all kinds of -“surprises.” This was a present from the Empress--she always sent a -similar box at Easter, and it always arrived at 6 o’clock. Indeed, so -punctual was this present, that my husband often used to hide the box -and pretend that it had been forgotten--but I knew better! - -We were invited to spend Christmas Day with the Imperial Family. There -was a gigantic Christmas tree, the Grand Duchesses and the - -[Illustration: HER IMPERIAL MAJESTY WITH TITI TSARSKOE SELO, 1909 - -(Grand Duchess Tatiana’s snapshot)] - -[Illustration: HER IMPERIAL MAJESTY AND THE TSAREVITCH] - -Tsarevitch thoroughly enjoyed themselves, and busied themselves in the -distribution of friendship’s offerings. The Empress had one curious -fancy in connection with her Christmas trees: she always insisted upon -blowing out the candles herself, and she was quite proud because she was -able to extinguish the topmost candle by some extraordinary effort of -breathing. - -And now I feel I must speak of the real Tsaritsa, the Empress whose -personality is known to so few--the Tsaritsa who was the most misjudged -and unfortunate of human beings. I know in my heart that Time, the best -historian, will make clear much that is dark. Even now, slowly, it is -true, but none the less surely, people are beginning to wonder whether -the Empress was in reality the pro-German and the hysterical _exaltée_ -she is supposed to have been. She did not deign to defend herself from -the calumnies and lies which were scattered broadcast in Russia; to such -a nature, these trials were sent by God--all that _she_ had to do was to -_endure_. But I saw her tears when she and the Emperor received the news -of the loss of the “Hampshire” and the death of Kitchener. These were no -Judas tears--hers was the grief of the woman and the Sovereign at the -death of a brave soldier, and yet, whenever her name is mentioned in -England, people say carelessly: “Oh, she saw to the torpedoing of the -‘Hampshire,’ and wasn’t she the mistress of Rasputin?” - -A pro-German, and the mistress of Rasputin!! Must this then, be the -epitaph of the friend whom I knew, and the Empress to whom I owed the -respect of a subject? I am not blind to the knowledge that any vehement -defence may do her memory still more harm, but, nevertheless, I am -impelled to write of her as she existed in her home, and in our hearts. - -I have read and heard almost all that has been laid to her charge; I am -no skilled writer, I know little or nothing of politics, but I can lay -claim to some knowledge of my own sex. During the awful days of the -Revolution, the Empress spoke to me as woman to woman. Her mind -constantly dwelt on the days of her girlhood, her life with her -grandmother, and the unhappiness of her childhood at Hesse Darmstadt. - -The Emperor was the love of her life. She told me herself that he was -her first love, but, the greater her love, the greater her fear lest she -would prove unworthy. She gave herself to Russia when she married, and -she accepted Russia as a sacred trust; but she and the Emperor were -always more husband and wife than Emperor and Empress--they lived the -intimate life of happily married people, they liked simplicity, they -shrank from publicity, and this love of retirement was the source of -many of the evil reports which assailed the Imperial Family. - -The Empress told me that when she cried at the marriage of her brother -her tears were said to be tears of jealous rage at seeing herself -dispossessed of authority. - -“But, Lili, I was _not_ jealous. I cried when I thought of my mother; -this was the first festival since her death. I seemed to see her -everywhere.” - -She described the dull Palace, its strict regime, her father’s -intermittent kindness, and how much she had looked forward to her visits -to Windsor. I think that the intimacy with her grandmother -unconsciously brought out the Early Victorian strain in the Empress’s -character. She undoubtedly possessed this strain, as in many ways she -was a typical Victorian; she shared her grandmother’s love of law and -order, her faithful adherence to family duty, her dislike of modernity, -and she also possessed the “homeliness” of the Coburgs, which annoyed -Society so much. The Russian aristocracy could not understand why on all -the earth their Empress knitted scarves and shawls as presents for her -friends, or gave them dress-lengths. Their conception of an Imperial -gift was totally different, and they were oblivious of the love which -had been crocheted into the despised scarf or the useful shawl--but the -Empress, with her Victorian ideas as to the value of friendship, would -not, or could not, see that she was a failure in this sense. The Empress -was in many ways as thrifty as her grandmother, but she did not share -the miserly proclivities of her uncle, the late Duke of Saxe-Coburg. Her -father was not a wealthy man, in fact life at Darmstadt was occasionally -a question of ways and means. The Empress had been taught to be careful. -She _was_ careful. - -“When I was engaged, Lili, I showed my grandmother some of the jewels -which the Emperor had given me. What do you think she said?” - -“I cannot imagine, Madame.” - -“Well ... she looked at my diamonds and remarked: ‘Now, Alix, don’t get -too proud!’ The Queen was a tiny creature, and she wore such long -trains ... but she was very forceful.” Then, reminiscently, “My sister -Elizabeth and I always loved the little houses in England ... dear -little houses set in their pretty gardens. You’ll see them one day, but -I never shall.” - -Queen Victoria had instilled in the mind of her granddaughter the entire -duties of a _Hausfrau_. In her persistent regard for these Martha-like -cares, the Empress was entirely German and entirely English--certainly -not Russian. I have mentioned her horror when she arrived at Petrograd -and discovered that the servants were unaware of the use of blacklead. -This was an actual worry to the Empress. - -“I wanted my grates blackleaded every day,” she said. “They were in a -very bad condition, so I called one of my maids and told her to do the -grate, only to discover that it was not within her province. Eventually -a man-servant was sent for, but imagine, Lili, I had actually to show -him how to blacklead a grate _myself_.” - -This practical side of the Empress was entirely distasteful to the -entourage--they laughed at it equally as much as they criticised her -friendships with people whom they did not consider in any way worthy of -the friendship of an Empress of Russia. I and Anna came under the -category of the unworthy, for, although we were well born, we were not -of the “sang azur” of certain noble ladies who were desirous of -admittance into the charmed circle. The Empress was accused of not being -true to class, but on one point she was inflexible; she allowed no -interference with her friendships. I sometimes wondered why she -preferred “homely” friends to the more brilliant variety--I ventured to -ask her this question, and she told me that she was, as I knew, -painfully shy, and that strangers were almost repellent to her. - -“I don’t mind whether a person is rich or poor. Once my friend, always -my friend.” - -Yes, her loyalty was indeed worthy of the name of a friend, but she put -friendship and its claims before material considerations. As a woman she -was right, as an Empress perhaps she was wrong. - -The aristocracy never tried to understand the real Tsaritsa. Their pride -was up in arms against her--she found no favour in their eyes. I -remember an incident which went to prove this, and which was widely -discussed at the time. - -Princess Bariatinsky, who then happened to be one of the Maids of Honour -to the Empress, was a charming woman, but, like most of the aristocracy, -she was excessively proud. One day, hearing that the Empress was about -to go out, the Princess held herself in readiness to accompany her, but -the Empress left the Palace by another entrance, accompanied by Mlle. -Schneider, a Russian lady who gave the Empress lessons in Russian. - -This unintentional slight was too much for the Princess. She, -metaphorically and literally, put on her hat, and departed never to -return, remarking as she did so: “_Quand une Bariatinsky met son -chapeau, c’est pour sortir_.” The Empress detested any form of snobbism. -One day, during the Japanese war, she was busy at one of her working -parties at the Winter Palace; the windows of the salon opened on to the -Neva Quai, and from where she sat the Empress could see the soldiers -and officers passing to and fro. Suddenly she looked intently out of the -window--an expression of distaste on her countenance--and she sighed -impatiently. An officer ventured to ask her what was the matter. The -Empress pointed to the Quai: - -“_That_ is the matter,” she said, indicating an officer who had just -been saluted by some soldiers, but who had not returned the salute. “Why -cannot an officer recognise the men by whose side he may one day fall? I -detest such snobbism,” she added, coldly. - -The scandals about the Empress, circulated by propaganda and rumour, -will be believed, alas! for many years. She is credited with dabbling in -occult practices, with a belief in Spiritualism, and of even attempting -to call up the illustrious dead in order to influence the Emperor, who -is supposed to have indulged in various dramatic séances at the Winter -Palace. Perhaps these stories originated in the more or less retired -life led by the Empress. This retirement was often enforced--she was a -delicate woman, but, although many writers state that she suffered from -the hereditary malady of her father’s family, she never mentioned its -existence to me. Her heart was weak, owing to rapid child-bearing, and -at times she experienced great difficulty in breathing. I never saw the -slightest trace of hysteria. The Empress was apt to get suddenly cross, -but she usually kept her feelings well under control. Apart from her -delicate health, there was another reason for these periods of -retirement. The Tsarevitch and the Grand Duchesses were often ailing, -the Empress was a devoted mother, and she insisted upon being with her -children and sharing the duties of a nurse. The maternal element was -strongly developed in her; the Empress was never so happy as when she -was “mothering” somebody, and, whenever a person had gained her -affection and her trust, she never failed to interest herself in the -smallest details connected with him and his. - -Her occultism has been grossly exaggerated. Her superstitions were of -the most trivial description: she thought that a bright day was -propitious for a journey, that the gift of an ikon to her was not -propitious, but her fancy for the sign of the Swastika was not for the -Swastika as a _charm_, only as a symbol. She told me that the ancients -believed in the Swastika as the source of motion, the emblem of -Divinity. The significance of it as a “luck bringer” never crossed her -mind. “Faith, Love and Hope are _all_ that matter,” she would say. I -will readily admit that she possessed a strong element of mysticism -which coloured much of her life; this was akin to the “dreaming” -propensities of her grandfather, the Prince Consort, and environment, -and the Faith of her adoption fostered this mystic sense. English -writers condemn this trait. I have before me a book in which the author -quoted the opinion of one of the most bitter enemies of the Empress. -“Alexandra Feodorovna,” he says, “is an interesting type for future -psychologists, historians and dramatic authors ... a German Princess -educated in England, on the Russian Throne, a convert to a peasant’s -religious sect, and an adept at occultism. She is made of the substance -that those terrible, tyrannical Princesses of the XV-XVII centuries in -the western countries of Europe were made of; those Princesses who -united in their personality the despot Sovereign, bordering on the -witch, and skirting the fanatical visionary, who were completely in the -hands of their reactionary advisers, and their insinuating wily -confessors.” - -I had read the book containing this extract before I began to write my -memories of the real Tsaritsa. I read many passages with eyes half -blinded with tears, sometimes I felt mine would be an impossible task. -How could I, an unknown name in England, attempt to combat such -statements? I am not assuming for one moment that the writer of the book -was ill-disposed towards the Empress; he wrote for posterity, setting -down his own opinion and that of others. But I am curious to know if he -ever knew the Empress personally, and if he ever shared the intimate -life of the Imperial Family. I did _both_--not only in the days before -and during the war, but also in the days of despair, when murder and -sudden death faced us at every turn. It was then no time for -pretence--but the Empress never changed; she was the same unselfish -soul, the same devoted mother and wife, the same loyal friend. - -The material for another book which was largely circulated in England -was supposed to have been “given” to the author by a lady well known, -and in great favour at Court. This novel--for it was, in many respects, -fiction pure and simple--was mentioned to me, and, upon reading it, I -was amazed to find the names of persons who never existed, and who were, -therefore, never at Court. There was no attempt to hide names under -pseudonyms or initials--these imaginary beings lived, moved and had -their being in the book as real individuals! - -I was so much interested in the creative genius of the “Court Lady” that -a friend of mine wrote to the part-author and asked him, on my behalf, -to disclose her name. My request was refused: the part-author said that -he was under an honourable vow of secrecy not to disclose the name of -his collaborator! - -But was this sporting? The book contained certain damning statements -against the Empress, it bristled with inaccuracies; truly, anonymous -Court histories cover a multitude of untruths! But surely those who -profit thereby should have courage enough to come out in the open when -certain questions arise. You either make a statement, or you do not. If -you believe in its truth, you should not be ashamed to say why, and -wherefore, and to acknowledge the source of its origin, but I am -inclined to think that the words, “I gave my word not to say who told -me,” place little value on malicious gossip, either in books or in -everyday life. - - - - -CHAPTER IV - - -The Empress was an early riser. She had six dressers, of whom the chief, -Madeleine Zanoty, was an Italian by birth, whose family had long been in -the service of the Hesses. Louise Toutelberg, known as “Toutel,” the -second in authority, came from the Baltic, and there were four others. -The dressers had three days’ service, but none of them ever saw the -Empress undressed or in her bath. She rose and went to her bath -unassisted, and slipped on a Japanese kimono of silk or printed cotton -over her undergarments when she was ready to have her hair arranged. The -Empress was extraordinarily modest in her disarray, and in this the -Victorian influence was again discernible, as her conception of the -bedroom was à-la-mode de Windsor and Buckingham Palace in 1840. She did -not countenance the filmy and theatrical, either in her lingerie or in -her sleeping apartment; her underwear was of the finest linen, -beautifully embroidered, but otherwise plain. Her red-gold hair was -never touched with curling irons, and it was usually very simply -dressed, except when great State functions called for a more elaborate -coiffure. - -The bedroom of the Emperor and the Empress was a large room with two -tall windows opening on to the Park. It was on the ground floor, as, -owing to the Empress’s heart complaint, she found the exertion of -ascending any stairs very exhausting. A lift in the corridor -communicated with the nurseries, but during the Revolution the water -supply was cut off, and the lift stopped working. Nevertheless the -Empress insisted upon mounting the stairs to visit the invalid Grand -Duchesses, and I always accompanied her, going behind her, and propping -her up at each step. It brought tears to my eyes when I saw how ill she -was, but she was determined not to miss a single chance of seeing her -beloved children. - -A large double bed made of lightish wood was near the windows, between -which stood the Empress’s dressing-table. At the right of the bed was a -little door in the wall, leading to a tiny dark chapel lighted by -hanging lamps, where the Empress was wont to pray. This chapel contained -a table, and a praying-stand on which were a Bible and an ikon of -Christ. This ikon was afterwards given to me by Her Majesty, in memory -of the days which we spent together at Tsarkoe Selo, and is one of my -most treasured possessions to-day. - -The furniture in the Imperial bedroom was in flowered tapestry, and the -carpet was a plain coloured soft pile. The Emperor’s dressing-room was -separated from the bedroom by the corridor, and on the other side were -the Empress’s dressing-room and bathroom--but, alas! for her rumoured -extravagances and her “odd” fancies! The bathroom was no luxurious place -of silver and marble, but an old-fashioned bath set in a dark recess, -and the Empress, with her Victorian love of neatness, insisted that the -bath was hidden during the day under a loose cretonne cover. There was -a fireplace in the dressing-room, and the dressers waited in the next -room until the Empress required their services. The Empress’s gowns were -kept here, and another room full of large cupboards (half-way up the -staircase leading to the nurseries) was given over to the use of those -maids whose especial duty it was to iron and renovate Her Majesty’s -clothes. - -The Empress favoured long, pointed footgear with very low heels: she -usually wore suède, bronze or white shoes, never satin. “I can’t bear -satin shoes, they worry me,” she would say. Her gowns, except those worn -by her on State occasions, were very simple; she liked blouses and -skirts, and she was greatly addicted to tea-gowns: her taste in dress -was as refined as that of Queen Mary of England; like her she -disapproved strongly of exaggerated fashions, and I shall not easily -forget her condemnation when I once came to see her wearing a “hobble” -skirt. - -“Do you really like this skirt, Lili?” asked the Empress. - -“Well ... Madame,” I said helplessly, “c’est la mode.” - -“It is no use whatever as a skirt,” she answered. “Now, Lili, prove to -me that it is comfortable--run, Lili, run, and let me see how fast you -can cover the ground in it.” - -Needless to say, I never wore a “hobble” skirt again. - -The Empress has been accused of a mania for precious stones. I never saw -any signs of it: true, she had quantities of magnificent jewels, but -these possessions were consequent upon her position as Empress. She was -fond of rings and bracelets, and she always wore a certain ring set -with one immense pearl, and a jewelled cross. Some writers assert that -this cross was set with emeralds, but I do not agree. I am sure that the -stones were sapphires, and, as I saw it every day, I fancy I am correct. -The Empress had soft, well-shaped hands, but they were neither small nor -useless hands, and she never had her nails polished, as the Emperor -detested highly polished and super-manicured nails. - -At nine o’clock the Empress breakfasted with the Emperor; it was a -simple meal à l’Anglaise, and after breakfast she went upstairs to see -the children. Then Anna Virouboff arrived, and, if certain interviews -were imperative, these were usually given during the morning, but, if -the Empress found herself “free,” she went to inspect her training -college for domestic nurses, which was arranged entirely on English -lines. She had great faith in the value of English-trained nurses for -children, and she put all her usual “thoroughness” into the working and -management of this institution. - -Lunch was at one o’clock, and at twelve-thirty on Sundays; but when, as -it often happened, the Empress was indisposed, she either lunched in her -boudoir or alone with the Tsarevitch. After lunch the Empress walked, or -drove herself in a little open carriage. Tea was at five, but sometimes -receptions were held between lunch and tea. The Imperial Family all met -at tea, which was quite “en famille”; and dinner, which was at 8 -o’clock, was often a movable feast in the literal sense of the word. The -Emperor disliked dining in one special room, so a table was carried to -whichever room he happened to fancy that evening. Dinner over (and it -was a very simple dinner) the Imperial Family spent the remainder of the -evening together, and the Grand Duchesses, who had a _flair_ for -puzzles, usually indulged in puzzle-making: sometimes the Emperor read -aloud whilst his daughters and their mother worked. It was the homely -life of a united family--but a life with which the great world was not -in sympathy; in fact a Russian writer did not hesitate to state openly -that “it would have been better for Russia’s felicity if the Empress had -succumbed to the many frailties which were attributed to Catherine II.” -It is ironical to dwell on such an opinion when one remembers how the -newspapers and the general public condemned her association with -Rasputin. But had she been Catherine II, it is possible that this -“frailty” might have been considered necessary for the “felicity” of -Russia! - -The Empress’s boudoir, known as “Le Cabinet Mauve de l’Imperatrice,” was -a lovely room, in which the Empress’s partiality for all shades of mauve -was apparent. In spring-time and winter the air was fragrant with masses -of lilac and lilies of the valley, which were sent daily from the -Riviera. Lovely pictures adorned the walls--and one of the Annunciation, -and another of St. Cecilia, faced a portrait of the Empress’s mother, -the late Princess Alice of England, Grand Duchess of Hesse-Darmstadt. - -The furniture was mauve and white, Heppelwaite in style, and there were -various “cosy corners.” On a large table stood many family photographs, -that of Queen Victoria occupying the place of honour. - -The other private drawing-room was a large room, decorated and -upholstered in shades of green, and the Empress had arranged in one -corner a sort of tiny staircase and a balcony, which was always full of -violets in the spring. In this room were pictures of herself and the -Emperor, and some exquisite miniatures of the Grand Duchesses by -Kaulbach, that of Marie being especially beautiful. - -Books were everywhere; the Empress was a prolific reader, but she was -chiefly addicted to serious literature, and she knew the Bible from -cover to cover. The library was next the green drawing-room, and here -all the newest books and magazines were placed on a round table, and -constantly changed for others in the order of their publication. - -The Empress was a great letter-writer, and she wrote her letters -wherever she fancied. Her writing-table proper was in the room next her -bedroom, but I have often seen her writing letters on a pad in her lap, -and she invariably used a fountain-pen. Before the war she wrote daily -to a great friend in Germany, and she always read this lady’s letters to -me. Her stationery, like her lingerie, was plain, but stamped with her -cypher and the Imperial Crown. - -Apropos of her fondness for lilac and lilies of the valley, I may -mention that the Empress loved all flowers, her especial favourites -being lilies, magnolias, wistaria, rhododendrons, freesias and violets. -A love of flowers is usually akin to a love of perfumes, and the Empress -was no exception to the rule. She generally used Atkinson’s White Rose; -it was, she said, “clean” as a perfume, and “infinitely sweet”--as an -eau-de-toilette, she favoured Verveine. - -When I first knew the Empress, she did not smoke, but during the -Revolution she smoked cigarettes: I fancy they soothed her overwrought -nerves. - -The Empress always kept a diary, but I shall presently relate how it -became my duty to burn her diaries, also those of Princess Sofia -Orbeliani and Anna Virouboff; and last, but not least in sentimental -interest, all the letters which the Emperor had sent her during their -engagement and married life. - -Dr. Botkin, the devoted friend and physician to the family, was -introduced to me by Anna Virouboff, and I liked him exceedingly. He was -a clever, liberal-minded man, and, although his political views were -opposed to those of the Imperialists, he became so devoted to the -Emperor that his once cherished views mattered little to him. - -I think, from my description, which possesses the merit of accuracy, -that it will be recognised what simplicity of life surrounded the rulers -of one of the greatest Empires the world has ever known. Simplicity -characterised all their doings, the simplicity which was to prove their -undoing. The Imperial pair wished to lead the lives of private -individuals; they imagined that it was possible. In Russia it has never -been popular or possible for a Tsar to be human; he was an emblem, a -representative of crystallised traditions; he united in himself the -rôles of the Father of his people and the splendid, all-conquering, -unapproachable Tsar. An Emperor or an Empress in mufti, so to speak, -never yet appealed to popular imagination, and, just as the English -cottager preserved and venerated the horrible “royal” oleographs of -Queen Victoria, so did the Russian peasant venerate similar oleographs -of the Emperor and his Consort. Neither cottager nor peasant would have -understood or cared to possess “family” photographs of their rulers. -Popular imagination has ever been appealed to by scarlet and ermine, -golden crowns, and kingly sceptres. It doesn’t understand or value -anything else. - -In the March following the birth of Titi, the Empress wrote and told me -that she was anxious to see her godson, then nine months old. So I went -with him to Tsarkoe Selo, where the Grand Duchesses made much of him, -and used to take it in turns to bath him. We took up our quarters in -Anna’s house, where the Empress had personally superintended the -arrangement of the baby’s room, and she sent his cot, of which she -crocheted the hangings and coverlet herself. She spent hours with the -child, playing with him, “snapshotting” him, and, after our first visit, -I was constantly “commanded” to “come and bring the baby.” I remember -that, when I once missed the train, and arrived too late for lunch, the -Empress, who was waiting for me, noticed my fatigue, and ordered tea. -She took Titi on her lap, and saying, “Well ... Lili, you do look hungry -and tired,” she fed me with pieces of sandwiches, pressing them on me -much in the same way that a mother soothes a tired child. But she was -ever “plus mère que mère, plus Russe que Russe,” but her love of country -was only for Russia and England. She had, and I say it with absolute -conviction, no love for Germany as her “Motherland.” She liked -Darmstadt, because to her it represented home, but she manifested no -interest in any other part of Germany. - -My friendship with the Empress increased as the months passed. That -autumn the Imperial Family went to Livadia, and I stayed with my uncle, -going constantly to and from the Palace. The first day I saw the Empress -in Livadia she gave me an entire layette for Titi which she had made -herself. I had wondered why she had telegraphed for his -measurements--now I knew! She would often call at my uncle’s and take -the baby with her for a drive. The little thing got to know her well, -and one day, looking at her photograph, he said “Baby”; so after this -the Empress of Russia was known to Titi by her own wish, _tout -simplement_, in English, as “Aunt Baby.” He always called her “Aunt -Baby,” and in many of her letters she alludes to herself by this pet -name, but, needless to say, the favour shown to me and my child by the -Imperial Family was the source of much comment at Court. - -On one point my mind was made up. I determined never to allow any ideas -of preferment or material advantage to spoil what was to me a condition -of great happiness. My husband entirely agreed, and he declined to -consider any mention of the posts which were from time to time spoken of -in connection with him. As for myself, the Empress understood and -appreciated my outlook. “You can always be my _friend_ if matters remain -as they are,” she said. “I don’t want to lose my Lili in an official -personage.” - -We were very happy in those days. The Grand Duchesses were fast leaving -childhood behind them and blossoming into charming girls; they did not -greatly resemble one another, each was a type apart, but all were -equally lovely in disposition. I cannot believe that any men so inhuman -existed as those who, it is said, shot and stabbed those defenceless -creatures in the house of death at Ekaterinburg. Apart from their -beauty, their sweetness should have pleaded for them, but, if it is true -that they have “passed,” then surely no better epitaph could be theirs -than the immortal words, “Lovely and pleasant were they in their lives, -and in their death they were not divided.” - -The Grand Duchess Olga was the eldest of these four fair sisters. She -was a most amiable girl, and people loved her from the moment they set -eyes on her. As a child she was plain, at fifteen she was beautiful. She -was slightly above middle height, with a fresh complexion, deep blue -eyes, quantities of light chestnut hair, and pretty hands and feet. She -took life seriously, and she was a clever girl with a sweet disposition. -I think she possessed unusual strength of character, and at one time she -was mentioned as a possible bride for the Crown Prince of Roumania. But -the Grand Duchess did not like him, and, as the Crown Prince liked the -Grand Duchess Marie better than her sister, nothing came of the project. -The sisters loved each other, and united in a passionate adoration for -the Tsarevitch. In a recent book published in England, the Grand -Duchesses have been described as Cinderellas, who were entirely -subservient in family life owing to the attention paid the Tsarevitch. -This is untrue. It is a fact that the Empress ardently desired a son, -and that the birth of four daughters in succession was a disappointment -to her, but she loved her daughters, they were her inseparable -companions, and their plain and rather strict upbringing had nothing -whatever of the Cinderella element. - -The Grand Duchess Tatiana was as charming as her sister Olga, but in a -different way. She has been described as proud, but I never knew anyone -less so. With her, as with her mother, shyness and reserve were -accounted as pride, but, once you knew her and had gained her affection, -this reserve disappeared, and the real Tatiana became apparent. She was -a poetical creature, always yearning for the ideal, and dreaming of -great friendships which might be hers. The Emperor loved her devotedly, -they had much in common, and the sisters used to laugh, and say that, if -a favour were required, “Tatiana must ask Papa to grant it.” She was -very tall, and excessively thin, with a cameo-like profile, deep blue -eyes, and dark chestnut hair ... a lovely “Rose” maiden, fragile and -pure as a flower. - -All the Grand Duchesses were innocent children in their souls. Nothing -impure was ever allowed to come into their lives--the Empress was very -strict over the books which they read, which were mostly by English -authors. They had no idea of the ugly side of life, although, poor -girls, they were destined to see the worst side of it and to come in -contact with the most debased passions of humanity! And yet it has been -stated that the Empress, in her neurotic, religious exaltation, gave -each of her daughters to Rasputin. Knowing her, knowing the Emperor, -and knowing the daughters as I did, such an assertion savours of the -monstrous; it has even been circulated that Mlle. Tutcheff objected to -Rasputin being admitted to the Grand Duchesses’ bedchamber to give them -his nightly blessing after they had retired to bed, and that, as her -protest was disregarded, she sent in her resignation. Mlle. Tutcheff was -never governess to the Grand Duchesses, and she never witnessed -Rasputin’s nightly blessing, inasmuch as it never took place. The -Emperor would never have permitted such a thing, even had the Empress -wished it, and she certainly did not consider such a proceeding -necessary for her daughters’ salvation. Mlle. Tutcheff was the victim of -her own spite and jealousy. She was not a very pleasant person, and, -whenever the Imperial Family went to Livadia, she usually made herself -very disagreeable, as she thoroughly disliked the Crimea. Continual -grumbling wears away the patience of most people; the Empress was only -human, and Mlle. Tutcheff was first given a holiday and then dismissed -by the Grande Maîtresse de la Cour. - -Mlle. Tutcheff did not hesitate to spread all kinds of vindictive -rumours to account for her dismissal. She was too small-minded to state -the real facts, and, as l’affaire Rasputin was generally spoken about, -she decided to vent her spite on the Empress through this medium. I -again assert that there is no truth in the legend of Rasputin’s nightly -blessing. - -When I first knew the Grand Duchess Marie, she was quite a child, but -during the Revolution she became very devoted to me, and I to her, and -we spent most of our time together--she was a wonderful girl, possessed -of tremendous reserve force, and I never realised her unselfish nature -until those dreadful days. She too was exceeding fair, dowered with the -classic beauty of the Romanoffs; her eyes were dark blue, shaded by long -lashes, and she had masses of dark brown hair. Marie was plump, and the -Empress often teased her about this; she was not so lively as her -sisters, but she was much more decided in her outlook. The Grand Duchess -Marie knew at once what she wanted, and why she wanted it. - -Anastasie, the youngest Grand Duchess, might have been composed of -quicksilver, instead of flesh and blood; she was most amusing, and she -was a very clever mimic. She saw the humorous side of everything, and -she was very fond of acting; indeed, Anastasie would have made an -excellent comedy actress. She was always in mischief, a regular tom-boy, -but she was not backward in her development, as M. Gilliard once stated. -Anastasie was only sixteen at the time of the Revolution--no great age -after all! She was pretty, but hers was more of a clever face, and her -eyes were wells of intelligence. - -All the sisters were utterly devoid of pride, and, when they nursed the -wounded during the war, they were known as the Sisters Romanoff, and -thus answered to the numbers 1, 2, 3 and 4. - -The Grand Duchesses occupied two bedrooms; Olga and Tatiana shared one, -Marie and Anastasie the other. These apartments were large and light, -decorated and furnished in green and white. The sisters slept on camp -beds--a custom dating back to the reign of Alexander I, who decreed -that the daughters of the Emperor were not to sleep on more comfortable -beds until they married. Ikons hung in the corners of the rooms, and -there were pretty dressing-tables, and couches with embroidered -cushions. The Grand Duchesses were fond of pictures and -photographs--there were endless snapshots taken by themselves, those -from their beloved Crimea being especially in evidence. - -A large room, divided by a curtain, served as dressing-room and bathroom -for the Grand Duchesses. One half of the room was full of cupboards, and -in the other half stood the large bath of solid silver. The Grand -Duchesses had departed from their mother’s simple ideas, and, when they -bathed at night, the water was perfumed and softened with almond bran. -Like their mother, they were addicted to perfumes, and always used those -of Coty. Tatiana favoured “Jasmin de Corse”; Olga, “Rose Thé”; Marie -constantly changed her perfumes, but was more or less faithful to lilac, -and Anastasie never deviated from violette. - -The Grand Duchesses’ attendants were a compromise between dressers, -maids and nurses. They were all girls of good family, the most favoured -being Mlle. Tegeleff, known as “Shoura”; the other two were “Elizabeth” -and “Neouta.” The Empress--once again Victorian--was very desirous for -these girls to wear caps, but they declined respectfully but firmly to -do so, and she did not press the matter. The Grand Duchesses liked their -attendants, and often used to help them tidy the rooms and make the -beds! Unlike their mother, but like most Russians, the four sisters -showed a predilection for dress, but the Empress had her own ideas on -the subject, and she chose and ordered all their clothes. As children, -the girls were dressed alike, but later the two eldest wore similar -gowns, and the next two were dressed, so to speak, “to match.” The only -frivolity which the Empress tolerated lay in her daughters’ -dressing-gowns, which carried out the colours of the regiments of which -they were colonels, and the Grand Duchesses were very proud of their -dressing-gowns and their regiments. They were always present at parades, -when they wore the uniform of their regiments, and this excitement was -one of their chief pleasures. - -The sisters led most ordinary, uneventful lives; their exalted station -never troubled them. With true courtesy they always made me pass out of -a room before them, there was no ceremony, no fuss--they were the -dearest, most affectionate girls, and I loved them all. The Grand -Duchesses rose early, and were soon occupied with their lessons. After -morning lessons they walked with the Emperor, and between lunch and tea -they again went out with him. They spoke Russian, English or a little -French, _never_ German, and, although they danced well, they had not -much chance to do so, unless the Imperial Family went to the Crimea, -then Princess Marie Bariatinsky always arranged a series of dances for -them. - -The motive power in the lives of these charming children was family -love. They had no thought apart from their home. Their affection was -lavished on their father and mother, their brother and a few friends. -Their parents were their paramount consideration. With the “children,” -as we called them, it was always a question of “Would Papa like it?” “Do -you think this or that would please Mama?”--and they always alluded to -their father and mother by the simple Russian words of Mama and Papa. - -The Tsarevitch, that Child of many Prayers, one of the most pathetic -figures in this tragedy of innocence, was born in 1904, and he was a -healthy baby weighing eleven pounds at the time of his birth; many of -the stories about his delicacy of constitution which have been given to -the world are very exaggerated, especially the one which insists that -the Nihilists mutilated the child when he was on the Imperial yacht. No -such mutilation ever took place. The Tsarevitch certainly suffered from -the hereditary trouble of thin blood-vessels, which first became -apparent after a fall in Spala, but he was otherwise a normally healthy -boy, and at the time of the Revolution he was really getting much -stronger and much freer from the complaint. I know he was ailing at -Tobolsk and Ekaterinburg, but that is hardly to be wondered at! - -In appearance he resembled his sister Tatiana: he had the same fine -features, and her beautiful blue eyes; he loved his sisters, and they -adored him, and patiently submitted to his teasing. The Tsarevitch was a -lively, amusing boy, with a wonderful ear for music, and he played well -on the _balalika_: like Tatiana he was shy, but, once he knew and liked -anyone, this shyness vanished. - -The Empress insisted upon her son being brought up, like his sisters, in -a perfectly natural way. There was no ceremonial in the daily life of -the Tsarevitch: he was merely a son, and a brother to his family, -although it was sometimes quaint to see him assume “grown up” airs. One -day, when he was indulging in a romp with the Grand Duchesses, he was -told that some officers of his regiment had arrived at the Palace and -begged permission to be received by him. - -The Tsarevitch instantly ceased his game, and, calling his sisters, he -said very gravely: “Now, girls, run away. I am busy. Someone has just -called to see me on business.” - -He adored his mother, and her passionate devotion to him is world-known, -although, like many other things, this devotion has been used as a -weapon against her. To the Empress, the Tsarevitch represented the -direct result of prayer, the Divine condescension of God, the crowning -joy of her marriage. Surely, if she manifested undue anxiety over him, -she only did what all mothers have done, and will do until the end of -time. There was certainly some subtle sympathy between mother and son: -she was all that was lovely and beloved to him, and I especially -remember one typical instance of this devotion: - -My husband and I had been dining with the Imperial Family, and after -dinner the Emperor suggested that we should accompany them to the -Tsarevitch’s bedroom, as the Empress always went thither to bid him good -night and hear him say his prayers. It was a pretty sight to watch the -child and his mother, and listen to his simple prayers, but, when the -Empress rose to go, we suddenly found ourselves in complete -darkness--the Tsarevitch had switched off the electric light over his -bed! - -“Why have you done this, Baby?” asked the Empress. “Oh,” answered the -child, “it’s only light for me, Mama, when you are here. It’s always -quite dark when you have gone.” - -He loved his father, and the Emperor’s great wish in the “happy days” -was to undertake his son’s education himself: this, for many reasons, -was impossible, and Mr. Gibbs and M. Gilliard were his first tutors. -Later, under very different conditions, the Emperor was enabled to carry -out his wish. In the gloomy house at Tobolsk, he taught the Tsarevitch, -and in the squalor and misery of Ekaterinburg the lessons still -continued; but perhaps the greatest lesson learnt by the Tsarevitch and -the other members of the unfortunate family was that of Faith: for faith -sustained them, and strengthened them at a time when riches and friends -had fled and they found themselves betrayed by the very country which -had been all in all to them. - -The Tsarevitch had various playmates--all sorts and conditions of boys -shared his games: there were the two sons of his sailor-servant, two -peasant boys with whom he was on friendly and affectionate terms, and my -“Titi,” who ran about with him, upsetting everything, and thoroughly -enjoying himself. The Heir to the Throne was as courteous as his -sisters. One day the Empress and I were sitting in the mauve boudoir, -when we heard the excited voices of the Tsarevitch and Titi in the next -room. - -“I believe they’re quarrelling,” said the Empress, and she went to the -door and listened to what the children were saying. Then she turned to -me laughing. “Why they’re not quarrelling, Lili. Alexis is insisting -that Titi shall come into the mauve room first, and the good Titi won’t -hear of it!” - -If the Tsarevitch had any peculiarities, I think the most striking was a -decided penchant for hoarding. Many descendants of the Coburgs have been -unusually thrifty, and perhaps the Tsarevitch inherited this trait. -While thrifty he was really a most generous child, although he hoarded -his things to such an extent that the Emperor often teased him -unmercifully. During the sugar shortage he saved his allowance of sugar, -which he gravely distributed among his friends. He was fond of animals, -and his spaniel, “Joy,” has happily found a home in England: his chief -pet at Tsarkoe was an ugly sandy and white kitten, which he once brought -from G.H.Q. This kitten he christened Zoubrovka, and bestowed a collar -and a bell on it as a signal mark of affection. “Zoubrovka” was no -respecter of palaces, and he used to wage war with the Grand Duchess -Tatiana’s bulldog “Artipo,” and light-heartedly overthrow all the family -photographs in the Tsaritsa’s boudoir. But “Zoubrovka” was a privileged -kitten, and I have often wondered what became of him when the Imperial -Family were taken to Tobolsk. - -All the children were fond of animals. The Grand Duchess Tatiana’s pet -was a bulldog called “Artipo,” who slept in her bedroom, much to the -annoyance of the Grand Duchess Olga, who disliked its propensity for -snoring. The Grand Duchess Marie favoured a Siamese cat, and, the year -before the Revolution, Anna Virouboff gave a little Pekinese dog to the -Grand Duchess Anastasie. - -This little creature had a tragic history. Curiously enough many people -said that “Jimmi” seemed an unlucky dog; but he was a sweet little -creature, whose tiny legs were so short that he could not walk up or -down stairs. The Grand Duchess Anastasie always carried him, and “Jimmi” -lavished a Pekinese devotion on her and her sisters. - -“Jimmi” went with the family to Tobolsk, and he is now identified in -history with their fate. According to one account, his corpse was found, -preserved in ice, at the top of the disused mine shaft; another writer -has it that “Jimmi” defended his friends in the cellar at Ekaterinburg, -barking defiance at the murderers, and guarding Tatiana’s fainting body -until they were both killed. His skeleton is said to have been -discovered later in a clump of undergrowth, and subsequently identified -by its size and by a bullet hole in the skull. - -He was a dear little dog, and probably, could he have spoken, he would -have desired no better fate than to perish with those in whose fortunes -and affections he had equally participated. - -The Emperor greatly resembled King George V in appearance, but his eyes -were unforgettable; and those of his cousin, although fine, do not -possess the expression peculiar to the eyes of the Emperor. It was a -combination of melancholy, sweetness, resignation and tragedy: Nicholas -II seemed as if he saw into the tragic future, but he also seemed to see -the Heaven that lies beyond this earth. He was “God’s good man.” I can -give no higher praise, render him no more fitting homage. - -He was essentially charming: when you were with him you forgot the -Emperor in the individual; he made formality impossible. He loved to -tease people, and I came in for my full share of this propensity. One -day when I was out walking at Livadia, several carriages passed me, but -I did not especially notice their occupants. The next evening when I was -dining at the Palace, the Emperor addressed me in grave tones: -“_Lili--ce n’est pas bien, vous comprenez, mais ne pas reconnaitre vos -amis_.” - -“_Mais, Votre Majesté, qu’est que vous voulez dire?_” - -“Well,” said the Emperor, “you _cut_ me yesterday.” - -“Votre Majesté, it’s impossible!” - -“Ah ... it’s quite possible, Lili. I drove past you, and bowed to you -many times, but you wouldn’t recognise me. Tell me in what I’ve offended -you.” And he continued to tease me until I felt ready to die with -confusion. He loved his wife: no one has ever dared dispute the quality -of the affection which existed between them; theirs was an ideal -love-marriage, and when their love was tried in the furnace of -affliction it was not found wanting. - -Nicholas II had been reproached for his weakness of character, but this -weakness was not weakness in the literal sense. The Empress, who was -fully aware of what was said concerning the Emperor and herself, once -told me how utterly people misunderstood her husband. “He is accused of -weakness,” she said bitterly. “He is the strongest--not the weakest. I -assure you, Lili, that it cost the Emperor a tremendous effort to -subdue the attacks of rage to which the Romanoffs are subject. He has -learnt the hard lesson of self-control, only to be called weak; people -forget that the greatest conqueror is he who conquers himself.” - -On another occasion she remarked that she knew that the Emperor and -herself were blamed for not surrounding themselves with genuine people. - -“It’s an extraordinary thing, Lili,” she said, “we’ve tried to find -genuine advisers for the last twenty years, but we’ve never found them. -I wonder whether any exist!” - -The Empress always resented the cruel slanders which were circulated -about the Emperor. - -“I wonder they don’t accuse him of being too good: that, at least, would -be true!” she cried. - -As for herself, she troubled little. - -“Why do people want to discuss me,” she said. “Why _can’t_ they leave me -alone!” Again: “Why will people insist that I am pro-German? I have -spent twenty years in Germany, and twenty years in Russia. My interests, -and my son’s future lie in Russia: how, therefore, can I be anything but -Russian?” - -The Empress has been censured for exerting undue influence over her -husband, and this “pernicious” influence has made her the scapegoat for -all the ills which have befallen Russia. But her “influence” was merely -that of a good woman over a man. If she influenced the Emperor in any -other way, it was done unconsciously. I will never believe otherwise, -although, in making this assertion, I shall perhaps be confronted with -all kinds of hostile criticism. It will be asked by what right I dare -defend a woman who has been tried and found guilty. But I dare to do so. -True, I am a person whose name is entirely unknown to the general -public, but it cannot be disputed by those who knew life at Tsarkoe Selo -and Petrograd that I was honoured by the Empress’s friendship and -confidence. - -The Emperor shared his wife’s “thoroughness”; he never believed anything -until (were it possible) he had tried it for himself. During the war, a -new uniform was submitted for the Emperor’s approval; he determined to -test its qualities, and he walked for twenty miles wearing it, in order -to see what weight was possible to carry with it. The sentinels failed -to recognise the Emperor when he passed them wearing the sample -“Tommy’s” kit, a fact which greatly amused him; but, as a result of his -practical experiment, the uniform (with certain alterations suggested by -the Emperor) was “passed.” - -The Empress put her husband first in everything--it was always “The -Emperor wishes it,” “The Emperor says so”; she was very tender towards -him, the maternal element was apparent in her love even for her husband: -she took care of him, but perhaps this arose chiefly from a feeling that -he suffered by reason of his love for her. - -As husband and wife they were indeed one. They only asked happiness of -life. The Emperor’s tastes were of the simplest, the Empress was shy and -retiring--both their dispositions were similar--and this similarity of -tastes, ideal in the usual walks of life, was fatal to both of them as -rulers. By this I do not for one moment wish to infer that they shirked -their responsibilities: far from it, they were always ready to assume -them, but they forgot that the times were out of joint, that it was -their duty always to live in the fierce light that beats upon a throne. -I do not think that by so doing they could have saved Russia. The case -of Nicholas II and Alexandra of Russia is almost parallel with that of -Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette. The Russian monarchs, like their French -prototypes, were called upon to reign over a country ripe for -Revolution, whose dragon’s teeth had been sown by the vicious hands of -their predecessors. France boasted as extravagant and exotic a society -as that of Russia: the writing was already to be seen on the walls of -Versailles and the Winter Palace, but the Sovereigns of Then and Now -heeded it not. Louis XVI wanted to be left alone in his workroom, to -make locks and to mend watches, and Marie Antoinette sighed for the -simple pleasures of the Trianon and the pastoral joys of a farmer’s -wife. - -Nicholas II did not care to be a locksmith, he merely wished to live the -quiet life of a well-bred gentleman: chivalrous by nature, he (and here -an English writer is correct) came nearer the British public-school idea -than any other. The Empress did not require a Trianon, she wanted a -home; but, although she loved Russia, Russia was always antagonistic to -her. This she never realised, any more than she recognised the fact that -the peasant class never wanted her to try and understand them. - -The Emperor was a clever man, and he possessed that wonderful memory for -faces peculiar to his uncle, King Edward VII. On one occasion when my -husband was presented to the Emperor after receiving some special -decoration, a colonel of a Siberian regiment also attended the Levée. -The Emperor stretched out his hand to the colonel. “Surely I’ve seen you -before?” he enquired. “Yes, Your Majesty.” “Well, but _where_?” -continued the Emperor, in puzzled tones; then brightening, “Ah, I know,” -he said, “I met you twelve years ago when I passed through Saratof.” - -The chief pleasures of the Emperor were those appertaining to an outdoor -life. He was a good shot, fond of all kinds of sport, and his hands were -exceptionally powerful. Boating was a favourite amusement; he liked to -row in a small boat, or paddle a canoe, and the Emperor passed hours and -hours on the water when the Imperial Family were staying at Shker, in -Finland. - -Both the Emperor and the Empress disliked the Kaiser. I say this with -perfect sincerity, and in all truth. They rarely mentioned his name -before the war, and I know that his love of theatrical displays appealed -to neither of them. In 1903 the Emperor William arrived in his yacht at -Reval to witness a military review. The “Standart” with the Emperor of -Russia aboard was also at Reval. After the Kaiser had paid a formal call -on the Emperor, signals passed between the two yachts. - -“What’s all this?” asked the Emperor. - -An officer enlightened him. - -“Your Majesty,” said he, “the signal from the ‘Hohenzollern’ says: ‘The -Emperor of the Atlantic salutes the Emperor of the Pacific.’” - -The Emperor looked cross. - -“Oh, that’s it--well reply ‘Thank you’--that’s quite enough.” - -The Kaiser did not shine as a visitor to the “Standart”; the first thing -he did was to shake hands indiscriminately, a proceeding which caused -much amusement and confusion, and everyone was heartily glad when the -“Emperor of the Atlantic” took his departure. - -The Grand Duchesses disliked any mention of the Kaiser, but some of the -officers used to tease them about him. The usual question of any -privileged arrival at Tsarkoe Selo was: “Well, how is Uncle Willie -to-day?” And the invariable answer was: “No--no--he’s not our Uncle -Willie--we don’t want to hear his name.” - -Russia has been described as a country of tears and misery during the -war, but this is incorrect. The peasants were never so rich as at this -time, and there was no discontent in the country districts; the wives -received big allowances, and they earned extra money for themselves -without any difficulty. Every boy indulged in high patent-leather boots, -every girl spent money on dress. There were certainly tears for the -fallen, but there was no material misery in Russia. - -The Emperor had made great plans to help those disabled in the service -of their country. His idea was to give all wounded, disabled or -decorated soldiers gifts of Crown Lands at the end of the war. He -planned various land reforms, but the Revolutionaries incited the -landlords against him by telling them that the Emperor was going to be -generous at their expense, and not at his own! - -It is impossible for an English public to realise the plots and -counter-plots which existed in Russia. The Empress, on many occasions, -barely escaped with her life; she was unpopular with all classes, but -she was unable, mercifully, to estimate the quality of the hatred meted -out to her. I do not think there is a single charge that has not been -laid at her door; she is credited with hysteria, religious mania, -pro-Germanism, the qualities of a Judas, the morals of a Messalina; she -has been described as the intriguing, strong-minded consort of a weak -man, a willing tool of an infamous sensualist, as well as being a -half-witch, and a half-mystic. The real Tsaritsa, firm in her -convictions, the devoted wife, mother and friend, is unknown. Her acts -of charity have been misconstrued, her religion has been made her shame, -the very nationality which she so willingly relinquished has become an -unmerited reproach. She knew and read all the reports concerning her, -but, although anonymous letters sought to vilify her, and journalism -bespattered her with filth, nothing touched her serenity of soul. - -I have seen her grow pale, and I have watched her eyes slowly fill with -tears when something exceptionally vile came under her notice. But -Alexandra Feodrovna was able to see the stars shining far above the mud -of the streets. - - - - -CHAPTER V - - -I am going to write of Gregory Rasputin as I knew him. My personal -acquaintance with him lasted from 1910 to 1916, but I know that I might -as well attempt to cleanse the Augean stables single-handed, as to be -believed if I say one word in his defence. As a man, and as an infamous -figure in history, he matters little to me, and, knowing the popular -prejudice against him, I hesitated to mention his name in these pages. -But I was urged to do so; it was represented to me that my silence might -be equivalent to an acknowledgment, not only of his guilt, but also of -that of the Empress. This last consideration decided me to forgo my -resolution, and to write a faithful record of the man who was supposed -to play such an important rôle during the last few years of the Russian -Empire. - -If I say that I never saw the evil side of Gregory Rasputin I shall be -called a liar or a fool--perhaps, more chivalrously, the latter. It is, -however, the truth when I say that we never saw the evil side of him. -May I, therefore, plead for a hearing on the grounds that some men -possess dual natures, and that they adapt these to the company in which -they find themselves? I have heard of men who at home have led most -moral lives, leading elsewhere existences before which an up-to-date -French novel is as naught. Yet they never betrayed themselves to their -nearest and dearest. Their friends were likewise deceived. Perhaps this -dark side was never discovered, and they died and were buried as -undefiled Christians. But even if something unforeseen had disclosed the -man’s secret orchard, his inner life, and his frailities, their -existence even then would most probably have been disbelieved by those -who had known him intimately for years. - -A person tells you that your dearest friend is a liar and a sensualist. -Do you believe him? Rarely, I think, if you are worthy to call yourself -a friend. You advise the traducer to make himself or herself scarce, -and, if you allow your mind to become poisoned by slow dropping venom, -you place yourself at once on a level with the slanderer. - -The Empress refused to believe ill of Rasputin because she had never -seen the evil side of him, and also because both she and the Emperor had -extended the hand of friendship to him. There was no question of -affection in her continual refusal to disown him, no phase of the -passing passions which distinguished Catherine the Great, and which were -so kindly tolerated by her subjects. The Empress inherited much of her -illustrious grandmother’s tenacity of purpose, and she refused to be -dictated to. In this, she was the woman of character who resembled Queen -Victoria. I do not wish to compare Rasputin with John Brown--they are as -the poles apart--but what I wish to point out in connection with both of -these persons, is that Queen Victoria and the Empress called John Brown -and Gregory Rasputin their friends, and neither family disapproval nor -public censure was a sufficient reason in their eyes to merit the -sacrifice of a friend. There the similarity ends. - -Gregory Rasputin arrived in Petrograd from Siberia on a pilgrimage, -walking the entire way with irons on his body in order to make his -progress more painful and difficult. If a pilgrim were to arrive in -London from Edinburgh in similar circumstances he would be taken before -a magistrate, and most probably sent to a lunatic asylum; these things -do not happen in England, but they were of daily occurrence in Russia. -We were so accustomed to the miraculous that I do not think the average -Russian would have manifested any surprise if he had been accosted in -the street by the Angel Gabriel! - -Rasputin had been introduced by certain people to Germogen, a priest and -a friend of Elidor, who possessed great influence in the region of the -Volga. Elidor’s dominant idea was to found a particular sect of his own, -but he failed to do so, and he was ultimately dismissed from authority. -This, he attributed, rightly or wrongly, to Rasputin. Germogen was a -firm believer in Rasputin’s spiritual powers, and he was also much -interested in his arduous pilgrimage. In fact, so greatly was he -impressed that he decided to introduce the “staretz” to the Grand -Duchess Peter, formerly Princess Meliza of Montenegro, and to her sister -the Grand Duchess Anastasia, the wife of the Grand Duke Nicholas. Both -these Princesses were addicted to mysticism; I may describe them as -“soulful.” Rasputin impressed them equally as much as he had impressed -Germogen, and they talked everywhere about their wonderful “discovery.” - -At this time the two Grand Duchesses were on very friendly terms with -the Empress, and it is not to be wondered that, little by little, her -curiosity was aroused, and at last she and the Emperor expressed a wish -to see Rasputin. - -The “staretz” was in due course presented to Their Majesties. Once again -I repeat that such things could only happen in Russia, and it is -therefore impossible to judge the Rasputin affair from an English -standpoint. This uncouth peasant who came into the presence of Their -Majesties barefooted, wearing the clumsy irons of penance, was in nowise -impressed by his surroundings--he spoke freely to the Emperor, who was -struck, like many others, by Rasputin’s sincerity. The interview was not -productive of any notable result, so far as Rasputin was concerned; it -was merely an interesting incident, and when I first knew the Empress -she never mentioned the name of Rasputin. - -In my opinion, and I speak in all sincerity, I believe that Rasputin was -the unconscious tool of the Revolution. If John of Cronstadt had lived -in 1910 to 1916, he would have been called another Rasputin. It was -necessary for the Revolutionaries to find someone whose name they could -couple with that of the Empress--a name whose connection with the -Imperial Family would destroy their prestige with the higher classes, as -well as nullifying the veneration of the peasant class. A member of the -Duma once heckled one of the Revolutionary party on the question of -Rasputin: - -[Illustration: H.I.M. THE TSAR - -Surrounded by the Officers of the Royal Yacht ‘Standart’] - -[Illustration: THE EMPRESS - -On board the Royal Yacht ‘Standart’] - -[Illustration: H.I.M. THE TSAR WITH THE TSAREVITCH - -On board the Tender going out to the Royal Yacht ‘Standart’] - -“Why,” said he, “don’t you kill Rasputin if you are so against him?” - -He received this surprising but wholly truthful reply: - -“Kill Rasputin! Why, we should like him to live for ever! He represents -our salvation!” - -Rasputin’s position was many-sided. One section of Society looked upon -him as a “cult,” and I have no doubt that there was a certain -pathological interest in this. Another group formed a mystical -conception of him as a “teacher,” and a more material clique courted -him, hoping thereby to gain influence with the Empress. The shame lies -not so much with Rasputin as with those who “exploited” him. - -At one time Rasputin was the guest of a well-known general, but, when -this gentleman discovered that there was nothing to be gained by his -hospitality, he quickly dropped his one-time acquaintance, and Rasputin -took up his quarters in a small flat where he was supported by voluntary -contributions. It was a humble abode, the “staretz” lived on the meanest -food, and it was only during the last year of his life that he received -presents of wine. - -Anna Virouboff met Rasputin for the first time when she had just made up -her mind to leave her husband. As I have said, her marriage with -Lieutenant Virouboff had turned out disastrously, and their relations -terminated in a most distressing manner. It so happened that once, when -Anna was entertaining the Empress and General Orloff, Lieutenant -Virouboff arrived unexpectedly from sea, and, as the police did not -recognise him, he was refused admittance to his own house. There was a -terrible scene between him and his wife after the Empress left, and Anna -was beaten unmercifully. Anna then refused to live with him any longer, -and returned to her parents. This affair created a great scandal, and, -in order to console Anna, the “Montenegrin” Grand Duchesses took her to -see Rasputin. - -I cannot say whether or no this was a mistake. I am inclined to think -that it was a well-meant error, as Anna Virouboff was a super-sensitive, -rather neurotic person, easily impressed by an effective _mise en -scène_. And this _mise en scène_ was amply provided for her. The -heart-broken and insulted young wife was received at the Palace of the -Grand Duchess Anastasia with immense ceremony, and what took place is -best described as an emotional prayer meeting. - -Suddenly a door opened and Gregory Rasputin made his appearance. He -walked into the midst of the overwrought worshippers, untouched by their -exaltation. He radiated peace, and he personified the Strong Man beloved -as an ideal by the majority of women. To Anna, the shattered and the -disillusioned, Rasputin typified the calm that comes after a great -storm; he prayed with her, he consoled her, she felt that she could -confide in him. She was utterly oblivious of the social gulf which -separated them. Rasputin was something to lean on, and Anna always leant -on somebody; this weak, lovable, credulous creature was unable to stand -alone. And in this way their intimacy began. I am sure that Anna was -never in love with the _man_ (although she was always in love with -someone), but his chief influence over her was that of the priest. - -I believe that at this time the Empress saw Rasputin occasionally, but -he was chiefly to be found in the company of the two Grand Duchesses who -had “discovered” him, and who now reported that Rasputin was undoubtedly -a “seer.” This annoyed the Emperor, and, the next time he saw Rasputin, -he asked him to tell him _how_ he “saw” true. - -“Your Majesty, I know nothing of clairvoyancy,” said Rasputin. - -“Then why have the Grand Duchesses asserted that you possess clairvoyant -gifts?” replied the Emperor, crossly; and, when the Empress put the same -question to Rasputin, she received the same reply. - -The real reason for this report will never be known. It was in all -probability political, but, after Rasputin had disowned clairvoyancy, -the two Grand Duchesses disowned their protegé and sided with Germogen -against him. The commencement of endless intrigues dates from this -period, as Elidor and Germogen were afraid that Rasputin would become -more important than themselves. - -I must now deal with Rasputin’s alleged influence over the Empress. -There is no doubt that her subconscious belief in his spiritual powers -was confirmed by the long arm of coincidence. The Tsarevitch fell ill, -the attack was severe and his parents were frantic. If any mother with -an only son reads these pages, she will admit that the word “frantic” -best describes the feelings of a mother at such a crisis. The Empress -was literally beside herself; it was then that someone suggested that -Rasputin should be sent for. When he arrived he bade the despairing -parents hope. He prayed by the bedside of the Tsarevitch, and it seemed -that directly he did so the child began to get better. There is not the -slightest truth in the film and “novel” versions of the incident; -coincidence, and coincidence alone, was responsible for the Tsarevitch’s -recovery at the moment of Rasputin’s impassioned prayers. - -I met Rasputin just before the Germogen scandals. My husband had gone to -Copenhagen to escort the Empress Marie thither on the “Pole Star,” and -he was anxious for me to join him. To do this would have entailed -leaving Titi with my mother, and I was reluctant to do so, although -naturally desirous of acceding to my husband’s wishes. Thus I was in -somewhat of a dilemma. Anna noticed I was worried and unhappy. - -“Look here, Lili, there’s someone who can help you,” she said. - -“Who?” I asked. - -“Gregory Rasputin,” she answered. - -I was not anxious to meet Rasputin--I did not possess the boundless -belief in him which characterised Anna, but I agreed, to humour her, and -she took me to Rasputin’s eyrie (I say eyrie, since his flat was high up -under the roof), and then left me. - -I waited for some time alone in a little study until a man came in so -noiselessly that I was almost unaware of his presence. It was Rasputin! -Our eyes met, and I was instantly struck by his uncanny appearance. At a -first glance, he appeared to be a typical peasant from the frozen North, -but his eyes held mine, those shining steel-like eyes which seemed to -read one’s inmost thoughts. His face was pale and thin, his hair long, -and his beard a lighter chestnut. Rasputin was not tall, but he gave one -the impression of being so; he was dressed as a Russian peasant, and -wore the high boots, loose shirt and long, black coat of the moujik. He -came forward and took my hand. - -“Ah ... I see. Thou art worried.” (He “tutoyed” everybody). -“Well--nothing in life is worth worrying over--‘tout passe’--you -understand--that’s the best outlook.” - -He became serious. - -“It is necessary to have Faith. God alone is thy help. Thou art torn -between thy husband and thy child. Which of them is the weaker? Thou -think’st that thy child is the more helpless. This is not so. A child -can do nothing in his weakness--a man can do much.” - -Rasputin advised me to go to Copenhagen, but I did not go. I left -Petrograd next day for the country--perhaps out of bravado! But the -impression which Rasputin had produced on me was very vivid. I was at -once attracted, repelled, disquieted and reassured; nevertheless, his -eyes were productive of a feeling of terror and repugnance, and I made -no answer when the Empress greeted me with the words: “So, Lili, you’ve -seen our friend? He’ll always help you.” - -My second meeting with Rasputin took place in the winter. Titi was -seriously ill, it was thought that diphtheric conditions would set in, -and the poor little boy lay tossing from side to side in delirium. Anna, -who made constant enquiries, at last ’phoned. “Lili,” she said, “my -advice is--ask Gregory to come and pray.” I hesitated--I knew my -husband’s distaste for anything touching the supernatural. But, when I -saw how ill Titi was, I hesitated no longer. At any rate, no one could -possibly condemn the prayers offered for a sick child. Rasputin promised -to come at once, and he arrived in company with an old woman who was -dressed as a nun. This quaint creature refused to enter the boy’s -bedroom, and sat on the stairs, praying. - -“Don’t wake Titi,” I whispered, as we entered the nursery, for I was -afraid that the sudden appearance of this strange peasant might frighten -the child. Rasputin made no reply, but sat down by the bedside and -looked long and intently at the sleeper. He then knelt and prayed. When -he rose from his knees he bent over Titi. - -“Don’t wake him,” I repeated. - -“Silence--I _must_.” - -Rasputin placed a finger on either side of Titi’s nose. The child -instantly awoke, looked at the stranger unafraid, and addressed him by -the playful name which Russian children give to old people. Rasputin -talked to him, and Titi told him that his head ached “ever so badly.” - -“Never mind,” said Rasputin, his steel eyes full of strange lights. -Then, addressing me: “To-morrow thy child will be well. Let me know if -this is not so.” And, bidding us farewell, he departed with his odd -escort. - -Directly Rasputin had gone the child fell asleep, and the next morning -the threatened symptoms had disappeared, and his temperature was normal. -In a few days, greatly to the doctor’s amazement, he was quite well. -After this, I could hardly dispute Rasputin’s peculiar powers, and I -always saw him whenever he came to the Palace--this, on an average, -about once a month. - -It is only fair to Rasputin to say that he derived no material benefits -from these visits, in fact, he once complained to me that he was never -even given his cab-fares! - -Rasputin’s influence over the Empress was purely mystical. She had -always believed in the power of prayer--Rasputin strengthened her in -this belief, and I am sure that her perplexed soul was soothed by his -ministrations. There was absolutely no sensual attraction. It gives me -intense pain to touch on this subject, but I must not shrink from what I -consider to be my duty. I have heard the most dreadful stories of the -Empress--how, in the spirit of sacrifice she gave herself, and those -dear children to Rasputin, in order to prove that the sacrifice of the -body was acceptable to God. Such a monstrous thing never happened. But -when I have defended her, and said that Rasputin was a common man, -unpleasing to look on, dirty in his habits and uncouth in every respect, -I have been told that these defects matter nothing in certain types of -sensualism. I have put forward the indisputable fact that the Empress -was an intensely fastidious woman, that she possessed no “animal” -propensities, that her morals were the ultra-strict morals of her -grandmother. The answer to this has been that many fastidious and -super-moral women have been guilty of incomprehensible lapses, solely by -reason of their fastidious and moral qualities. If such examples exist, -why should not the Empress have done likewise? - -I am confronted at every turn by these reports, and people say -pityingly: “Well, of course, you _loved_ the Empress.” That is so ... -but _I also knew_ the Empress. The Emperor’s attitude in the Rasputin -scandal ought alone to destroy these accusations, as the Empress never -saw Rasputin without the knowledge and consent of her husband. Even -assuming Nicholas II to be a weak man, entirely under the domination of -his wife, he would certainly have been man enough, husband enough, and -father enough, never to have countenanced any immoral relations between -Rasputin and his family. The Emperor was primarily a Christian and a -gentleman, but he was likewise a Romanoff and an Emperor. In these -capacities he would have meted out the only possible punishment for such -an offence. When he was told the “outside” scandals concerning Rasputin, -he would not credit them. And why not? _Simply because they were so -bad_; had they been less so, the Emperor might have listened. It is a -great mistake for anyone to attempt to destroy any friendship by -describing the person whose ruin is contemplated as being entirely -worthless. The desired result is obtained far more easily by damning him -or her with faint praise! - -When various people reproached the Empress for being on terms of -friendship with a common peasant, and for believing that he was endowed -with the attributes of holiness, she replied that Our Lord did not -choose well-born members of Jewish society for His followers. All His -disciples except St. Luke were men of humble origin. I am inclined to -think that she placed Rasputin on a level with St. John ... both were, -in her opinion, mystics. - -[Illustration: GRAND DUCHESS OLGA] - -[Illustration: GRAND DUCHESS TATIANA] - -She was perfectly frank in her belief in Rasputin’s powers of healing. -The Empress was convinced that certain individuals possess this gift, -and that Rasputin was one. When it was urged that the services of the -most skilled physicians were at her disposal, she gave the invariable -answer: “I believe in Rasputin.” As for the stories that Rasputin and -Anna Virouboff gave the Tsarevitch poisons and antidotes, I dismiss -these with contempt--they belong solely to sensational fiction. Anna -Virouboff would have been too frightened to give a kitten a dose of -medicine, much less would she have tampered with the medicines given to -the Tsarevitch. - -The first grave scandal which assailed the Empress in connection with -Rasputin was the discovery and publication of a letter written by her, -in which she made use of the expression: “_Je veux reposer mon âme -auprès de vous_.” The enemies of Rasputin were fully aware that he was -guilty of the fatal habit of keeping interesting letters, so Rasputin -(always desirous of popularity) was invited to meet certain influential -people, and, on his way to the rendezvous, he was attacked and robbed, -and all the correspondence which he carried on him was stolen. - -In due time the contents of the Empress’s letter were published, and -this did her tremendous harm. Even the Duma took the worst view of the -much quoted sentence, “_Je veux reposer mon âme auprès de vous_.” But -that expression was not used at all in the physical meaning. The Empress -merely wished to tell her friend that her soul was desirous of spiritual -consolation. - -Since I have lived in England, I have constantly met women who pin their -faith in certain spiritual and physical advisers. Most Catholics have a -special confessor to whom they invariably repair, just as most people -have one particular doctor in whom they trust--most representatives of -any denomination have their especial following. It is solely a question -of one individual meeting the requirements of another. - -The Emperor was very much troubled over the attacks which were made on -the Empress. But both he and the Empress possessed a mistaken sense of -their responsibilities in connection with Rasputin, and this mistaken -sense of responsibility was to prove the ultimate destruction of both -Rasputin and themselves. The Imperial couple resolutely refused to throw -him over. In this decision the Emperor was as one with the Empress; -perhaps they “humanly” declined to admit the right of anyone to dictate -to them ... but, be that as it may, Rasputin’s position remained -undisturbed. - -It is well known that Rasputin condemned hostilities, but it is not -equally well known that he tried to stop the declaration of war. -Nevertheless, when mobilization began, he wired to Anna, saying: “The -war must be stopped--war must _not_ be declared; it will be the end of -all things.” No notice whatever was taken of this telegram, for the -excellent reason that Rasputin’s political influence was _nil_; he had, -in fact, no influence in material matters, although many have thought -otherwise. - -General Beletsky once asked Rasputin to speak to the Emperor and suggest -his name as Governor-General of Finland. Rasputin promised to do so, -and mentioned the matter to the Emperor, in the presence of the Empress. -The Emperor listened, but made no comment. General Beletsky was never -appointed. - -It seems impossible to obtain a logical hearing on behalf of either the -Empress or Rasputin. All kinds of reports have been circulated in -connection with the latter’s excesses and debaucheries. There may have -been some truth that Rasputin’s private life was not all that it should -have been, but I assert most solemnly that we never saw the slightest -trace of impropriety in word, manner or behaviour when he was with us at -Tsarkoe Selo. - -Prince Orloff, the head of the Chancellerie Militaire, never made any -pretence of liking or even tolerating the Empress. He experienced a sort -of nervous repugnance to meeting her, and it was common knowledge that -he took quantities of valerian in order to steady his nerves, whenever -it was necessary for him to see her. The Empress was aware of this. - -“I saw Prince Orloff to-day,” she said to me, “he was reeking of -valerian. Poor man, what an effort it must cost him to speak to me.” - -The Prince exercised no discretion whatever in his statements about the -Empress and Rasputin; he seemed impelled to disparage her--his hatred -amounted almost to a ’phobia--and at last the Emperor lost patience with -him and sent him to the Caucasus. - -Princess Olga Orloff was received shortly afterwards by the Empress. The -Empress was very fond of Olga, but it was a very unpleasant interview, -as the Princess tried to explain that her husband had been grossly -maligned. The Empress described the interview to me: - -“I’ve had a dreadful time, Lili,” she said, “Olga Orloff has just been. -I’m very, very sorry for her, she’s in a terrible state. When I rose, -she began to speak most wildly, and to insist that her husband was -devoted to me and to our interests. I knew that, if I were to sit down, -I should burst into tears; so I kept standing. It was an awful moment.” - -Rasputin always had a presentiment of a violent death. He often -remarked, with an air of profound conviction: “Whilst I’m alive all will -be well, but, after my death, rivers of blood will flow. Nothing, -however, will happen to ‘Father’ and ‘Mother’”--this was his way of -alluding to the Emperor and Empress. About this time an old woman, a -disciple of Elidor’s, came to see Rasputin one night, wearing a white -dress plentifully trimmed with scarlet ribbons. - -Rasputin reproved her for this display. - -“How awful of you to wear these red ribbons,” he said. - -“Ah,” replied the old woman. “I _know_ why I wear red.” - -“And she knew full well,” said Rasputin, gloomily, when describing the -incident to me. “Red is the colour of blood--and blood will soon be as -plentiful as her scarlet ribbons.” - -Everyone who loved the Imperial Family was horrified at the ever -increasing scandals; the wildest reports, mostly lies, with a -sub-stratum of truth were current, and Rasputin was even said to have -been sinning in Petrograd when he was actually in Siberia. It was -impossible to persuade the Empress that popular feeling was against her. -True, she heard what was said, and she occasionally read what was -imputed to her, but she paid no attention to gossip or to mendacious -paragraphs. She was obsessed by her religion, and she sent me and Anna -Virouboff on a pilgrimage to Tobolsk in the summer of 1916. A new saint -had been recently canonized at Tobolsk, and the Empress had made a vow -to go thither herself, or to send a substitute. Anna asked me to -consent, as she was afraid to travel alone, and, as the Empress begged -me to go, I could do no less than prove my devotion to her wishes. - -When I arrived at Petrograd I discovered that Rasputin was to travel -with us. I could not help thinking that, in view of popular feeling, it -was most ill-advised to advertise the expedition, but I dared not -suggest this. We left Petrograd in the greatest publicity.... A special -saloon carriage was attached to the train ... it was a progress of -publicity, wires were sent in advance all along the line to announce our -advent, and crowds thronged the stations to catch a glimpse of us. - -At last, late in the evening, we arrived at Tumen, and from thence we -took the steamer to Tobolsk. Little did I dream that, in a year’s time, -the Imperial Family were to make the same pilgrimage--of which the whole -journey was to prove indeed a Via Dolorosa! They, too, were to see the -black and swiftly flowing river, and the wild Tartar villages on its -banks, and, like myself, they were to see the city on the mountain, with -its churches and houses sharply silhouetted against the fast darkening -sky. - -We were received at Tobolsk by the Governor, the chief officials, and -the Church dignitary, Varnava, and we were afterwards taken to our -quarters in the Governor’s house, where I slept in the little room which -the Emperor, a year later, used as his study. - -The next day we visited the saint’s grave, and attended a very -impressive service in the Cathedral. Rasputin stayed with the priest, -but, unfortunately, he quarrelled with Varnava, so matters became -somewhat strained, and I was not sorry when our two days’ visit came to -an end. - -On the way back to Tumen, Rasputin made a point of us stopping at his -village and seeing his wife. I was rather intrigued at this, as I had -always wondered how and where he lived, and I felt quite interested when -I saw the dark grey, carved wooden house which was the home of Rasputin. -The village consisted of a group of small wooden houses built on two -floors. Rasputin’s house was, perhaps, a little larger than the others, -and he said that he hoped one day Their Majesties would visit him. - -“But it’s too far,” I said--aghast at the proposal. - -Rasputin was angry. “They _must_,” he declared, and, a few minutes -afterwards, he added the prophetic words: “Willing or unwilling, they -will come to Tobolsk, and they will see my village before they die.” - -We remained one day at Rasputin’s house. His wife was a charming, -sensible woman, and the peasants were a fine type--honest, simple folk, -who cultivated the fields belonging to Rasputin, and accepted no -payment for so doing--working absolutely in the spirit of holiness. - -Rasputin had three children--the two girls were being educated in -Petrograd, but the boy was quite a peasant. Everyone was friendly, but -most of the villagers were strongly against Rasputin’s returning to -Petrograd. - -As we had decided to go on to Ekaterinburg, and from thence to the -Convent of Verchoutouria, I thought it would be a good idea to persuade -Rasputin to remain with his people. This he refused to do; I told Anna -that there must be no more gossip, and that she must persuade Rasputin -to leave us. She promised to do so, but at the last moment he went with -us to Ekaterinburg. - -I shall never forget my first impression of this fatal town. Directly we -got out of the train, I felt a sense of calamity--we were all affected; -Rasputin was ill at ease, Anna perceptibly nervous, and I was heartily -glad when we reached the Convent of Verchoutouria, which is situated on -the left bank of the river Toura. We stayed a night in the guest house -attached to the Convent, and then Rasputin asked us to go into the woods -with him and visit a hermit who was locally supposed to be a very holy -man. - -This pilgrimage must appear entirely foolish in the eyes of English -readers. I try and put myself in their place, and imagine what the -English public would think if the “Daily Mail” announced that Queen Mary -had sent two of her friends on such an expedition. - -“This couldn’t happen--Queen Mary is far too sensible,” you will say. - -No doubt Queen Mary _is_ far too sensible ... such a thing could never -happen in England, and I am only relating it in order to prove that, -once again, it is impossible to judge Russia from an English standpoint. - -The hermit lived in the heart of the forest and his hermitage might -easily have been taken for a poultry farm. He was surrounded by fowls of -all sizes and descriptions. Perhaps he considered fowls akin to -holiness; he gave quantities of eggs to the Convent, but we supped -frugally off cold water and black bread. The hermit had no use for beds, -so we slept miserably on the hard, unyielding floor of dried mud, and I -must confess that I was glad when we returned to Verchoutouria and we -were able to sleep and bath in comfort. - -Rasputin decided to take leave of us at Verchoutouria, so we went on -alone to Perm, where our saloon carriage was coupled to another train. -Crowds came to stare at Anna, and some of their comments made me feel -very uneasy. There was much dissatisfaction, and, when our saloon was -uncoupled, it was done so forcibly that the carriage was almost -derailed, and I was thrown from one end to the other. But we returned to -Petrograd safely, there to be welcomed and thanked by the Empress. - -“After all, Lili,” said Anna, now prostrate with nerves and a heart -attack, “we must believe that God _likes_ us to endure.” - -I do not know whether this remark was reminiscent of the hermitage, or -of the saloon carriage, but I was able honestly to thank God that I was -once more within a civilized area. - -Rasputin did not stay long in his village; he returned to Petrograd, and -the brazen voice of scandal was again heard. One day, in 1916, when I -was at Reval, the Empress telegraphed asking me to come and see her. - -I obeyed, and found her alone, looking sad, and obviously much troubled -in her mind. She did not, at first, touch on the subject nearest her -heart; then, all at once, she told me how hard she thought it of people -to speak against her so bitterly. - -“I know _all_, Lili,” she said. “Why does Gregory stop in Petrograd? The -Emperor doesn’t wish it. I don’t. And yet we can’t possibly discard -him--he’s done no wrong. Oh, why won’t he see his folly?” - -“I’ll do all in my power, Madame, to make him do so,” I replied. My -heart overflowed with love for the Empress, she seemed so utterly -broken, so tragically sad. - -“I’ve already reproached Anna for not helping me in the matter,” -continued the Empress, and she gave me her permission to go at once to -the house in Gorohovaya Street where Rasputin lived. I went with Anna. - -We did not find Rasputin alone. It was tea time and he was surrounded by -a little crowd of admirers. Next to him sat his _âme damnée_, Akilina -Laptinsky, the secret agent, under whose skilful tutelage Rasputin -unconsciously played the well-planned game of the Revolutionaries. -Akilina posed as a Sister of Charity, and many people believed in her; -she possessed great influence with Rasputin, and in his unguarded -moments he made many deplorable confidences in Akilina, who used -everything she heard in a way detrimental to the Imperial Family. - -Akilina disliked me: she thought Anna was a weak fool, but I imagine -that she regarded me as a foe more worthy of her steel. I acknowledged -her presence, and I asked Rasputin if I could speak to him in private. - -“But certainly,” he answered, and we went into the next room, Akilina -following us. - -“And now?” enquired Rasputin, seating himself. - -I did not mince matters. - -“Gregory,” I said bluntly, “you must leave Petrograd at once. You can -pray for Their Majesties equally well in Siberia. You _must_ go--for -their sakes, I implore you. Go--You know what is said--if you insist -upon remaining, it will only mean danger for us all.” - -Rasputin considered me gravely--he did not speak. I could see Anna’s -“hurt child” look, I could feel Akilina’s sinister scrutiny. Then -Rasputin uttered these unexpected words: - -“Perhaps thou art right. I’m sick and tired of it all. I’ll go.” - -But a surprising interruption occurred. Akilina banged her clenched fist -on the table, and confronted me with rage in her eyes. - -“How _dare_ you try and control the Father’s spirit?” she screamed. “I -say that he _must_ stay. Who are you?--why, a nobody--you are too -insignificant to judge what is best for anyone.” - -Silence, pregnant with meaning, fell in the little room. Anna was -crying, Rasputin said nothing, but I still defied Akilina: the thought -of the Empress gave me courage. - -“Are you going to listen to the Sister?” I demanded coldly. - -Akilina recommenced her table-banging. - -“If you leave Petrograd, Father, you’ll have bad luck--you are _not_ to -go.” - -“Well--well--” said Rasputin helplessly, “perhaps thou art right. I -shall stay.” - -My efforts were unavailing. Rasputin could be as obstinate as a mule; -and so, greatly distressed, I returned to the Palace. The Empress was -very disappointed. - -“I wonder why the Sister was so against my wishes,” she said. - -Later on we understood. I think that, despite her plotting and -contriving, Akilina really had some affection for Rasputin, and she was -occasionally ashamed of her Judas-like rôle. I remember that once, when -Rasputin left Petrograd on a visit to his family, I went to see him off, -and there, naturally, I encountered Akilina. As the train steamed out of -the station she burst into tears--genuine tears; I saw there was no -hypocrisy in her grief. Although I disliked Akilina, I felt sorry for -her. - -“You’d better let me drive you home,” I said. - -She accepted my offer, but in the car her tears recommenced. - -“Whatever is the matter?” I enquired. “You’ll see the Father again.” - -Akilina raised her tear-drenched eyes. - -“Ah--you know _nothing_--if you only knew--if you only knew what I -know.” - -Surely this remark must have implied that she possessed some inner -knowledge which terrified her, and which may have made her -conscience-stricken. - -Akilina nursed Anna at Tsarkoe Selo when she was ill with the measles, -but on the second day of the Revolution she sent me a note, asking me to -come over to the left wing of the Palace. She then informed me that Anna -was delirious.... - -“However, I can’t do much for her. Will you tell Her Majesty that I must -go into town for a day. I want to see Gregory’s family.” - -I promised to deliver the message, but we never saw Akilina again. A -fortnight later we were told that she was living in the family of one of -the most prominent Revolutionaries. - -Another “Sister,” Voskoboinikova, equally associated with Rasputin, was -head matron of Anna’s hospital. She was, likewise, a great friend of M. -Protopopoff, the Minister of the Interior, who used to spend hours in -her company. Voskoboinikova possessed a certain fascination, but she was -very inquisitive, and we equally disliked each other. Following the -example of Akilina, she left Tsarkoe on the second day of the -Revolution, but, the night before relinquishing her position at the -hospital, she gave a dinner to the convalescent soldiers, when wine -flowed freely and all sorts of seditious speeches were made. The -soldiers were told to look to Petrograd for freedom, and that revolvers -and bullets were fine things. Truly women had their uses during the -Revolution! - -But to return to Rasputin. The feeling against him daily assumed larger -proportions. Elidor once sent a woman to kill him, and the Father was -badly wounded in the stomach, but it is untrue to say that Anna -Virouboff nursed him during the illness which ensued. She never -attempted to do so. - -Prince Felix Yousopoff, whose name will always be connected with the -tragedy of Rasputin, first met him at the house of Mme Golovina, a -sister-in-law of the Grand Duke Paul. The demoiselle Golovina greatly -admired Felix Yousopoff, in fact her “flamme” for him was well known. -Some considerable time elapsed between the first meeting of Prince Felix -and Rasputin: I spent the next two years chiefly in Reval, but I used to -pay a fortnightly visit to the Empress, and, after my husband was sent -to England, I went to Petrograd, where I saw the Empress daily. I was -very surprised when she told me that Felix Yousopoff was a constant -visitor at Rasputin’s house; in fact I was so incredulous that I asked -Rasputin whether this was true. - -“Yes--it’s quite true,” he answered, “I have a great affection for -Prince Yousopoff, I never call him anything else but ‘Little One.’” - -Mary Golovina, to whom also I expressed my astonishment, said that -Prince Yousopoff declared that Rasputin’s prayers benefited him: so -there was nothing more to be said. - -On December 16th, when I was at Tsarkoe Selo, I told the Empress that I -wanted to see Rasputin on the morrow, but just before starting for his -house--about five o’clock on the afternoon of December 17th--I was rung -up from Tsarkoe Selo--the Empress wished to speak to me. Her voice -seemed agitated. - -“Lili,” she said, “don’t go to Father Gregory’s to-day. Something -strange has happened. He disappeared last night--nothing has been heard -of him, but I’m sure it will be all right. Will you come to the Palace -at once?” - -Thoroughly startled by this disturbing news, I lost no time in taking -the train to Tsarkoe Selo. An Imperial carriage was waiting for me, and -I soon found myself at the Palace. - -The Empress was in her mauve boudoir; once again I felt the premonition -of coming disaster, but I endeavoured to disregard it. Never did the -“cabinet mauve” look so home-like. The air was sweet with the fragrance -of many flowers and the clean odour of burning wood; the Empress was -lying down, the Grand Duchesses sat near her, and Anna Virouboff was -sitting on a footstool close to the couch. The Empress was very -pale--her blue eyes were full of trouble, the young girls were silent, -and Anna had evidently been weeping. I heard all there was to tell me; -Gregory had disappeared, but I believe the Empress never imagined for -one moment that he was dead. She discountenanced any sinister -conjectures; she soothed the ever weeping Anna, and then she told me -what she wished me to do. - -“You will sleep in Anna’s house to-night,” she said. “I want you to see -people for me to-morrow--I am advised that it will be better for me not -to do so.” - -I told the Empress that I was only too happy to be of service to her, -and, after dinner, I went to Anna’s house, which I was astonished to -find in the occupation of the Secret Police! - -The pretty little dining-room was full of police agents, who received me -most courteously, explaining that their presence was accounted for by -the fact that a plot to kill the Empress and Anna Virouboff had just -been discovered. This was not reassuring, but I decided not to be -nervous, and, bidding good night to the officers of justice, I went into -Anna’s bedroom. - -The familiar room looked strangely unfamiliar--terror lurked in the -shadows, and death seemed in the air. I am not by nature superstitious, -but I must confess that I felt so when an ikon suddenly fell down with a -crash, carrying a portrait of Rasputin with it in its fall. I hastily -undressed and got into bed--I could not sleep; I lay awake for hours, -and when, towards dawn, I dropped off in an uneasy slumber, I was -suddenly aroused by what seemed a great noise outside. I heard in the -distance the tread of countless feet, the sound of many voices; a mighty -multitude was marching towards Tsarkoe Selo--and the dreadful thought -flashed across my mind that perhaps there had been a rising at -Petrograd. I jumped out of bed, threw on a wrapper, and rushed to the -dining-room. There all was quiet; the police officers were sleeping on -the floor. My entrance awakened them. - -“Why, madame, what’s the matter?” they enquired. - -“Cannot you hear for yourselves?” I said, impatiently, “the noise--the -crowd--I’m sure something dreadful has happened at Petrograd.” - -“We have heard nothing....” - -“Oh, but I assure you it’s correct.” - -The police opened the shutters, then the windows ... outside all was -still with the intense stillness of a winter’s night. The officers made -no comment, and closed the windows. - -“Madame has perhaps been dreaming,” said one, sympathetically. “She has -had much to try her nerves.” - -But I knew differently. I had certainly experienced much to try my -nerves, but what I heard was neither a nightmare nor a delusion. When I -re-entered the sombre bedroom, with its fallen ikon and its fallen -saint, I shuddered, for, although I knew it not, the veil had been -lifted, and I had heard the fast approaching footsteps of Revolution and -murder. - -I was an early arrival at the Palace, but the Empress was already up and -she greeted me most affectionately. She told me that M. Protopopoff had -strongly urged her to receive no one: there was evidence of a plot to -murder her, and, for the first time, she seemed to feel some misgivings -concerning the fate of Rasputin. She manifested no anxiety about her own -danger; she was utterly serene and fearless: I was so struck by this -that I could not help saying: - -“Oh, Madame, you don’t seem afraid to die. I always dread death--I’m a -horrible coward.” - -The Empress looked at me in astonishment. - -“Surely, Lili, you are not _really_ afraid to die?” - -“Yes, Madame, I am.” - -“I cannot understand anyone being afraid to die,” she said, quietly. “I -have always looked upon Death as such a friend, such a _rest_. You -mustn’t be afraid to die, Lili.” - -I passed an anxious and exciting morning. I was besieged with visitors -for Anna, and people who desired to see the Empress. I think my position -gave rise to a great deal of jealousy in the Palace, as at this time the -Empress made me the sole medium of her wishes and no official etiquette -was observed. - -Nothing was heard of Rasputin, but all kinds of disturbing rumours were -current. A certain person paid twenty-two visits to Tsarkoe Selo in one -day, hopeful to see the Empress, but, acting on the advice of -Protopopoff, she absolutely declined to receive him. - -Two days later, Rasputin’s body was discovered under the ice in the -Neva. It was taken to a hospital close by, where an autopsy was -performed. Rasputin had been wounded in the face and side, and there was -a bullet wound in his back. His expression was peaceful, and the stiff -fingers of one hand were raised in a gesture of benediction; it was -impossible to arrange the hand in a natural position! The autopsy proved -without a doubt that Rasputin was alive when he was thrown into the -Neva! - -The news of the murder caused the greatest consternation at the -Palace--Anna Virouboff was prostrated with grief, and the Imperial -Family were deeply concerned. The reports that the Empress gave way to -violent hysterics are incorrect. It would be untrue to say that she was -not inexpressibly shocked and grieved, but she displayed no untoward -emotion. The Emperor was troubled, but his feelings arose more from the -significance of Rasputin’s death than from the actual death of the man: -he realised that this murder was the first definite blow against the -hitherto absolute power of the Tsar! - -Akilina Laptinsky came to the Palace immediately after the autopsy had -been performed: she wished, so she said, to discuss the question of -Rasputin’s burial. She was received by the Empress; Anna and I were also -present. The “Sister” first asked the Empress if she did not wish to see -the corpse. - -“Certainly not,” replied the Empress--in a tone which admitted of no -argument. - -“But there is the question of the burial,” said Akilina. “Gregory always -wished to be buried at Tsarkoe Selo.” - -“Impossible ... impossible ...” cried the Empress. “The body had better -be taken to Siberia and buried in the ‘Father’s’ village.” - -Akilina wept.... She declared that Rasputin’s spirit would never rest -were he to be buried so far away from the Palace. The Empress -hesitated.... I could see she was thinking that it would be equally as -unfriendly to discard the dead as to discard the living. Anna, however, -settled the question by proposing that Rasputin should be interred in -the centre aisle of the new church adjoining her hospital for -convalescents. The church and the hospital were being built on Anna’s -own property.... There could be no question of any scandal touching the -Imperial Family.... This proceeding would only enable people to cast -another stone at Anna’s already shattered reputation. - -“And ... I care little for the opinion of the world,” whimpered Anna, -looking more than ever like a hurt baby. - -So it was settled that Rasputin should be buried in Anna’s church, and, -as I attended the burial, I may say with absolute conviction that mine -is a true account of the proceedings. I have been told, and I have read -various wholly inaccurate reports--the most prevalent being that -Rasputin was buried secretly at dead of night in the Park at Tsarkoe -Selo. Nothing of the kind. Rasputin’s burial took place at 8 o’clock on -the morning of December 22nd. The Empress asked me, on the preceding -evening, to meet the Imperial Family by the graveside, and I promised to -do so. - -It was a glorious morning, the sky was a deep blue, the sun was shining, -and the hard snow sparkled like masses of diamonds; everything spoke of -peace, and I could hardly believe that I was about to witness the -closing scene of one of the greatest scandals and tragedies in history. -My carriage stopped on the road some distance from the Observatory, and -I was directed to walk across a frozen field towards the unfinished -church. Planks had been placed on the snow to serve as a footpath, and -when I arrived at the church I noticed that a police motor-van was drawn -up near the open grave. After waiting several moments, I heard the sound -of sleigh-bells, and Anna Virouboff came slowly across the field. Almost -immediately afterwards, a closed automobile stopped, and the Imperial -Family joined us. They were dressed in mourning, and the Empress carried -some white flowers; she was very pale but quite composed, although I saw -her tears fall when the oak coffin was taken out of the police van. The -coffin was perfectly plain. It bore no inscription, and only a cross -outside it testified to the faith of the departed. - -The ceremony proceeded--the burial service was read by the chaplain to -the hospital, and, after the Emperor and Empress had thrown earth on the -coffin, the Empress distributed her flowers between the Grand Duchesses -and ourselves, and we scattered them on the coffin. - -When the last solemn words had been uttered, the Imperial Family left -the church. Anna and I followed them.... Anna got into her sledge, I -into my carriage. It was barely nine o’clock. - -I looked back at the snowy fields, the bare walls of the unfinished -church, and I thought of the murdered man who was sleeping there. I felt -an immense pity for his fate, but, above all, I felt an immense pity and -love for those who had believed in him and befriended him in defiance of -the world, and on whose innocent shoulders the burden of his follies was -destined to rest. - -I have not attempted to introduce any picturesque imagery in my -description of Rasputin’s burial. I have stated the facts exactly as -they occurred, and it now devolves upon me to contradict one of the most -unjust accusations which have been made against the Empress in -connection with the burial of Rasputin. - -Several writers have asserted that, when Rasputin’s remains were dug up -after the Revolution, a holy image bearing the signatures of the Empress -and the Grand Duchesses was discovered resting under the cheek of the -dead man. The Empress has been credited with placing this image there -herself, but this is not the case. The image (that of the Miraculous -Virgin of Pskov) was one of several which the Empress brought back from -Pskov when she and her daughters visited her hospital. The Empress -purchased these images much in the same manner that visitors to Lourdes -purchase souvenirs of Our Lady of Lourdes. The Imperial Family wrote -their names and the date in pencil on the base of all these souvenirs, -which were given to various friends. Rasputin received one, and, when -his body was placed in the coffin, Akilina, with some sinister motive, -insisted upon the image being placed under his cheek, and she was, -doubtless, responsible for the story that this was done by order of the -Empress. - -After Rasputin’s death, his son and daughters came to Tsarkoe Selo and -were received by the Empress. They related how, on the night of the -murder, their father had received a message from Prince Yousopoff, -asking him to come and see him. It appeared that Rasputin’s daughters -had some vague presentiment of ill, and begged their father to remain at -home. He, however, insisted upon going to the “little one,” and the -finding of one of the goloshes which he wore on account of the deep snow -was partly the means of discovering that foul play had taken place. - -The family begged the Empress to avenge their father’s death. She -replied: - -“I can promise you nothing. All rests with justice; we cannot possibly -interfere in any way for or against that which has taken place.” - -These were her actual words, and they must surely discredit the story -that Prince Yousopoff and the Grand Duke Dmitry were victims of the -vindictive spirit of the Empress. - -Rasputin, as I knew him, was, I repeat, not the villain of the novel and -the films. In my eyes he was an uneducated man with a mission; he spoke -an almost incomprehensible Siberian dialect, he could hardly read, he -wrote like a child of four, and his manners were unspeakable. But he -possessed both hypnotic and spiritual forces, he believed in himself and -he made others do so. I am not ignorant of what has been said concerning -his abnormal animalism, his satyr-like sensualities, the nameless orgies -in which young women and young girls gave themselves as willing victims -to his lust. An English saying states that there is “no smoke without -fire”--this may, perhaps, apply to Rasputin’s sensual side, but never to -the alleged extent. One woman in twenty may lose her sense of fitness -and seek to mate with a man in an inferior station of life, but it is -not an everyday occurrence. The reports about his dress and his -extravagance are also very much exaggerated. Rasputin lived, and died, a -poor man. He usually wore the dress of a peasant, and his wonderful -jewelled cross only exists in the brains of novelists and journalists. -Rasputin at first wore a simple copper cross, later he wore one of gold -which he afterwards sent to the Emperor at the Stavka. This gift in -Russia is usually unwelcome, as it signifies that you present with it -the sorrows and sufferings synonymous with the Cross. The Emperor -thought that Rasputin’s cross was unlucky, so he gave it back to me, and -asked me to give it to Anna. But Anna stubbornly refused to accept it, -and I was at my wits’ end to know what to do. I could not tell the -Emperor that Anna would have none of Rasputin’s cross--so I mislaid it, -and I do not know what became of it. But I only saw the moral side of -this apparently immoral man, and I was not alone in my conception of -Rasputin’s character. I know for a fact that many women of my world who -had “affairs” and many demi-mondaines were not dragged further into the -mire by Rasputin, for--incredible as it may appear--his influence in -such cases was often for the best. - -I remember that I once met Rasputin when I was walking on the Morskaya -with a brother-officer of Captain Dehn’s. He eyed me severely, and, when -I returned home, I found a message telling me to come and see him. -Partly out of curiosity I obeyed, and, when I saw Rasputin, he demanded -an explanation. - -“Of what?” I asked. - -“Oh ... thou know’st well enough. Art _thou_ going to follow the example -of these frivolous Society women? Why art thou not walking with thy -husband?” - -He repeatedly said to women who sought his advice: - -“If you mean to do wrong, first come and tell me.” - -So I can do no more than speak of Rasputin as I found him. If I had been -a Rasputinière, or the victim of an abnormal passion, I should not be -living happily with my husband, and Captain Dehn would never have -countenanced any association with Rasputin if the latter had been guilty -of immoralities at Tsarkoe Selo. His duty as a husband would have been -greater than his devotion to the Imperial Family. - -I cannot entirely defend the Empress’s attitude. I love her, I reverence -her memory, but I think she was, in many ways, perhaps, mistaken in her -outlook. She argued, very rightly, that, even if she belonged to Russia, -her soul belonged to God, and she had a perfect right to worship Him -exactly in what manner most appealed to her. I have mentioned her views -as to position being no ban where the instruments of God were concerned. -In a worldly sense this was impossible, especially in Russia, where -humility appealed neither to the peasant nor to the higher classes. The -religious “communism” of the Empress outraged their sense of fitness ... -the peasants could not understand one of their own class being on -intimate terms with the Sovereigns ... the higher classes were bitterly -contemptuous. - -Knowing the strong religious convictions of the Empress and the inborn -characteristics of both classes, the Revolutionaries found in Rasputin a -fitting agent of Imperial destruction. - -The Greek Church is the most mediæval of religions ... it is quite -harmless, so to speak, when modern conditions are not introduced into -its practice; but modernity, ever a fatal element in religion, is -especially fatal to the Greek Church. The Empress would not understand -this ... her faith taught her to credit the existence of holy men, -hermits, and seers--so, when Rasputin appeared in the character of one -of these, she was not surprised, and she accepted the actuality of his -heaven-sent mission, as the teachings of her Church bade her. - -As I have stated, coincidence was largely responsible for the belief of -the Empress in Rasputin’s gift of healing. His prayers coincided with -the recovery of the Tsarevitch--that child of many prayers. In her love -for her son the Empress was _plus mère que mère_. I am likewise assured -that there was no theatrical clap-trap in Rasputin’s association with -Anna Virouboff. Had Anna possessed the brains of Akilina, I might not be -so positive--but Anna was no _intrigante_; in the face of possible -denunciation as a Russian Sapphira, I repeat my estimate of Anna -Virouboff, i.e., _childish, harmless, weak_. - -If the Empress were guilty of any glaring weakness, it was, -paradoxically, that of stubbornness. She did not allow any interference -in what she considered her own province. Her grandmother and the Prince -Albert had tolerated none; her distant connection, Princess Clementine -of Coburg, was ultra-obstinate; another of her connections, Ferdinand of -Bulgaria, has also manifested the Coburg peculiarity. It is an -interesting psychological study: in some of the family this trait is -manifest in their undeviating pursuit of worldly ambition, in others it -is apparent in their views of morality and domesticity. In the case of -the Empress, morality, domesticity and religion were subjects in which -she brooked no contradiction. - -Had the Emperor been less religious, he might have (from a worldly point -of view) influenced his wife to have seen less of Rasputin. But he made -no attempt to interfere with her on religious questions, remembering -perhaps how wholly she had relinquished the faith of her fathers to -embrace his own. The Empress has been accused of contributing to the -downfall of Russia through her association with Rasputin. The finger of -scorn and hatred has pointed at her, and an almost universal voice has -cried, “Thou art the Woman.” But history, if not always just, is at -least generous, and it may be that Alexandra Feodorovna will one day be -given the benefit of the doubt, and allowed to appeal against the -sentence which has been passed on her. For many years prior to her -advent as Empress of Russia, the movement for Freedom had been slowly -but surely spreading over the entire country, and the creation of the -Duma strengthened public opinion. But certain -Revolutionaries--themselves as evil as their prototypes in the French -Revolution--did not scorn to employ base agents in order to attain their -base ends. These men used Rasputin--with what result is now apparent. -But have the murders of Rasputin and the Empress cleansed Russia and -enabled it to be rechristened Utopia? - -The ashes of Rasputin are scattered to the four winds, the blood of the -innocent cries aloud to Heaven for vengeance; but Russia--drunken with -carnage, liberated from her ancient yoke, and delivered of her -rulers--has as yet only produced Robespierres. - - - - -CHAPTER VI - - -I have dealt with the subject of Rasputin before touching on that of the -War, but his name is also connected with the War, as he is supposed to -have been a German spy, and to have encouraged the alleged pro-German -leanings of the Empress. Although I shall always adhere to my original -belief that Rasputin was an unconscious agent of the Revolutionaries, I -cannot deny that he was against the War, and always desirous of peace, -but this attitude was due to his own wishes and convictions. I asked -Rasputin in 1915 when he thought the war would be over. “Not yet.... -Don’t expect the war to be over yet,” he answered; and in 1916, when I -returned from Reval, I asked the Empress the same question. “Not yet, -Lili, not yet,” she said. Both these replies might serve to show how -little was the political influence either of the Empress or of Rasputin. -As an individual, doubtless the Empress desired peace: as a Russian, she -could not possibly have desired the victory of Germany. - -There was great excitement in 1914 throughout Russia; everyone hoped -that England would come in, especially in naval circles, who were well -aware of the weakness of the Russian fleet. - -The excitement increased when Russia became the ally of France. The -Imperial band played the hymns of the Allies daily; there was no -question of pro-Germanism at Court--Russia, as befitting her great -traditions, was fighting the good fight! - -My husband was ordered to escort the Imperial Family to sea on the -“Standart,” and I knew that I must therefore spend my birthday without -him. One evening, when we were sitting in the Park making plans for a -belated celebration, my husband was accosted by one of the heads of his -Department. “Dehn ...” said he ... “go at once to the Commander of the -Port ... you’re wanted.” - -Upon his return my husband was very excited. “Lili,” he cried, “I have -received orders to join Admiral Essen’s fleet. I must leave almost -immediately.” It was, indeed, “almost immediately,” for at 3 a.m. my -husband bade me good-bye. - -The Empress sent me a note directly she knew that Charles had left. “I -hope everything will be all right,” she wrote. “Poor Lili, don’t -despair.” - -I tried _not_ to despair, and, like most wives at this time, I kept a -smiling face, although I was perilously near tears. Every day the -Military Council was in consultation with the Emperor, and, on the -evening before the declaration of war, I knew that mobilization had been -decided upon. - -The Emperor firmly believed that Russia was amply supplied with -munitions. He had been assured on this point by the Grand Duke Nicholas -and General Soukhomlinoff. Soukhomlinoff knew that the ammunition of the -Russian army was insufficient, but he still continued to reassure the -Emperor and the Allies. The Grand Duke Nicholas, who was far from -blameless ... instigated a Special Commission under the presidency of -the Grand Duke Serge, with the declared object of providing the army -with the requisite munitions. But three months passed, and nothing was -done. Even when certain supplies of munitions arrived at the Front, -these were useless, as they would not fit the guns and musketry which -required them! The Emperor was most unjustly blamed for these -calamities--but he was guiltless--the real offenders were the Grand Duke -Nicholas, General Soukhomlinoff and their agents. - -On the day following my husband’s departure the Empress sent me a -message asking me to go with her to the church usually attended by the -Lancers (the Empress’s Own). The service was very impressive; I stood -behind the Empress, who was praying ardently, and, at the conclusion, -she turned to me: “Don’t look sad, Lili,” she whispered. “This war _had_ -to be.” - -Whenever the regiments of which the Empress was colonel left for the -front, she saw the officers and soldiers, and blessed them and spoke to -them. A great deal has been said and written about the Empress’s -unpopularity with the soldiers. I have hardly heard a good word on her -behalf, and yet I know how devotedly she was loved by many of the -officers and men. It will be my privilege to show how, during the -Revolution, she received many touching evidences of their affection, and -I am determined not to allow the Sisyphus weight of calumny to deter me -from telling what I know of the truth. - -After the declaration of hostilities the Empress at once instituted her -own hospitals, and both she and her daughters went in for a medical -course to qualify as Sisters of Charity. Princess Gedroits, herself a -professor of surgery, instructed them, and the Imperial Family gave up -most of their time to lectures and demonstrations. - -Directly they had passed the necessary examinations, the Empress and -“the four sisters Romanoff” started nursing, spending hours with the -wounded and almost invariably being present at operations. - -Society at once began to criticise this procedure. It argued that it was -not the duty of an Empress of Russia to become a nurse. It failed to -remember that at this time the illustrated papers were full of pictures -of various crowned heads who were doing precisely the same thing for -which they condemned the Empress! But she wore her rue with a -difference. What was praiseworthy in others constituted a sin in her -case. Without being accused of bitterness, I think I may be allowed to -say that it makes me sad when I realise the persistent animosity -displayed towards the Empress by all classes, from the prince to the -peasant ... “the evil that men do lives after them, the good is oft -interred with their bones.” In the case of the Empress, the good she -undoubtedly did during her life was not only interred with her but it -was never recognised during her life. Her innocent fault consisted (to -quote the words of an English writer) in not being able to understand -“that in the eyes of her subjects she must shine and be ornamental, but -not useful in the trivial acceptance of the word.” Perhaps the Empress -erred in her conception of the mentality of the Russian peasant. As an -impartial critic, I fear this was the case. When she wore the Red -Cross, the sign of a universal Brotherhood of Pity, the average soldier -only saw in the Red Cross an emblem of her lost dignity as Empress of -Russia. He was shocked and embarrassed when she attended to his wounds -and performed almost menial duties. His idea of an Empress was never as -a woman, but only as an imposing and resplendent Sovereign. - -The pro-German tendencies of the Empress were mentioned after our -reverse at Brest, when the Emperor assumed command. Everyone was -suspicious of her, and, when she spoke English at the hospitals to her -daughters and her ladies-in-waiting, the soldiers declared she was -speaking German, and this report once started was magnified exceedingly. - -The actual dawn of Revolution occurred before the death of Rasputin, but -during the war it was openly stated that the end of Tsardom was at hand. -All our defeats were attributed to the pro-German influence of the -Empress, who was spitefully alluded to as “The Colonel” in certain -salons. - -Protopopoff, the Minister of the Interior, was always reporting plots -against the life of the Empress. One, it was said, had been disclosed in -an intercepted letter from a Society woman to a friend in Moscow. The -writer lamented that the murder of the Empress had not been a “fait -accompli,” and declared that, failing murder, the next best remedy was -incarceration in a madhouse. Princess Vasiltchikoff sent a letter to the -Empress, in the name of the women of Russia, telling her that all -classes were against her, and daring her to mix further in Russian -affairs. - -It has been said that the Empress was equally furious at the contents of -the letter, and the fact that it was written on paper torn off a -letter-pad! But it was _not_ the question of the breach of etiquette -which writing to the Sovereign on a letter-pad implied, it was the -horrible accusations, the virulent animosity of the missive which at -first angered the Empress, and afterwards grieved her. She cried -bitterly when she told me. “Of what am I accused?” she said. “Gregory is -dead. Surely people might leave me alone!” - -Princess Vasiltchikoff’s letter gave rise to much excitement; her -portrait was in all the newspapers, and public opinion was divided for -and against her. - -Another letter was sent to the Empress, this time anonymously, but it -was equally reprehensible, and this letter and the preceding one caused -the greatest indignation in the hospitals, as the officers who knew the -Empress as she really was were very angry. Life in general was -excessively difficult and painful, so much so that, when my husband -arrived from Mourmansk, and asked Count Kapnist how things were going, -the Count replied: “You’ll soon see for yourself, and you’ll be -horrified. We have gone back to the days of Paul I. Ruin lies ahead of -us.” - -The Empress saw a good many people at this time. Every Thursday there -were musical evenings, where I met various friends--officers in the -Artillery, the Emperor’s A.D.C., Linavitch, Count Rabindar and his wife -(who was a faulty likeness of the Empress), the officers of the -“Standart,” Prince Dolgouroki (who was afterwards murdered), Madame -Voeikoff, the wife of the Commandant du Palais, Colonel Grotten, and -many others. - -A Roumanian orchestra, under the direction of the famous Goulesko, -played on these Thursdays, and the Empress derived great pleasure in -listening to the really exquisite music. A huge fire was always burning -in the salon; the Empress sat near it, and a little seat immediately -behind her was arranged for my exclusive use. If I happened to arrive -after the Empress was seated, she always indicated the vacant place with -a gesture and a sweet smile. - -One evening, about a fortnight before the Revolution, when I was sitting -in my usual place, listening to the Roumanian orchestra, I noticed that -the Empress seemed unusually sad. So I ventured to bend forward and -whisper, anxiously, “Oh, Madame, why are you so sad to-night?” The -Empress turned and looked at me.... “Why am I sad, Lili?... I can’t -really say, but the music depresses me.... I think my heart is broken.” - -The same evening, Anna childishly observed: “We all seem out of sorts. -What fun it would be to have some champagne!” The Empress was angry at -the suggestion. “No ...” she said, “the Emperor hates wine, he can’t -bear women to drink wine--but what matter his likes or his dislikes, -when people will have it that he’s a drunkard himself?” The Empress was -in very indifferent health; mental worry had increased her heart -trouble, but she endeavoured never to let her health interfere with her -public duties. At an official reception following the departure of the -Guards, the Empress told me that she hardly knew how to endure the -strain. “Veronal is keeping me up. I’m literally saturated with it,” she -said. - -When my husband came home on a few days’ leave, the Emperor sent for -him, and listened attentively to all that he had to say, questioning him -very closely on certain subjects. We had never thought of or mentioned -the subject of his preferment; he had now spent two strenuous years in -the mine-fields, and the Emperor noticed how ill he looked. - -“Dehn must have a rest,” remarked His Majesty. “I shall give him a post -near my person.” - -But this kindly thought never matured. My husband was sent for by the -Minister of the Marine, and left for England at twenty-four hours’ -notice, in company with General Meller-Zakomelsky, taking with them -decorations destined by the Emperor for certain English officers. The -news of the Revolution was not known by them or in England when they -arrived, so an elaborate official reception was given them. Almost -immediately afterwards the news was public property and it was -impossible to use the Emperor’s decorations. I often wonder what became -of them. - -Before leaving for England, my husband asked me to join him there. I -could not promise. I loved him very dearly, but I felt that my duty lay -with the Empress. - -“No, Charles,” I said, “I cannot promise anything at present, but, if -things become better, I’ll come.” - -When he had gone, I felt utterly unhappy, but I did not regret any -sacrifice I was called upon to make for the Imperial Family. I loved -them all far too much. - -At this time the Emperor had every intention of remaining with his -family, but, one morning, after having received General Gourko in -audience, he suddenly announced: - -“I’m going to G.H.Q. to-morrow.” - -The Empress was surprised. - -“Cannot you possibly stay with us?” she enquired. - -“No,” said the Emperor, “I must go.” - -Almost immediately after the Emperor’s departure, the Tsarevitch fell -ill with measles, and I used to spend every evening with the Empress, -who was naturally much worried over her son’s illness. In these days, -our intimacy had increased so much that my time was mostly devoted to -the Empress, and I saw few of my friends and relations. But my aunt, the -Countess Kotzebue-Pilar, was a great Society leader, and I heard all -that transpired in her salon. One evening before dinner my aunt (who was -always furious at the rumours current about the Empress) ’phoned me to -come to her house at once. I found her in an excessively agitated -condition.... - -“It’s awful what people are saying, Lili,” she cried.... “And I must -tell you--you _must_ warn the Empress.” - -In somewhat calmer tones my aunt continued: “Yesterday I was at the -Kotzebues’.... Many officers were present, and it was openly asserted -that His Majesty will never return from G.H.Q. What are you going to do? -You are constantly in the society of the Empress--you cannot allow her -to remain in ignorance of these reports.” - -“She will not believe them,” I said. - -“Nevertheless,” said my aunt, “it is your duty to warn her.” - -I returned to the Palace feeling very unhappy. I hardly knew what to do -for the best. At last, after a struggle, I decided to tell the Empress. -As I had anticipated, she made light of the story. - -“It’s all nonsense, Lili, I can’t believe such a thing--it’s nothing but -malicious gossip. However, as you seem so apprehensive, send for Grotten -(the Commandant du Palais) and tell him.” - -“Don’t pay any attention to such a canard,” cried Grotten angrily, when -he heard my story. “It’s a lie which stamps itself as the worst kind of -lie.” - -“Well, General,” I retorted, now thoroughly vexed with myself for having -apparently made a mountain out of a molehill, “if God ordains my aunt’s -report to be a lie, so much the better.” - -“Don’t be cross.... I’ll most certainly get in touch with G.H.Q.,” said -Grotten reassuringly. THREE DAYS AFTER CAME THE REVOLUTION. - - * * * * * - -And now the funeral knell of Russia began to sound, at first muffled, -but always insistently. Disorders broke out in Petrograd. The strikes -began on February 21st (Old Style), and crowds clamoured for bread, of -which the supplies had suddenly stopped. No one could understand this, -as Protopopoff’s last words to the Emperor were: “There is plenty of -flour, I’ll pledge my word that we have enough flour to last us for a -month, and after that fresh supplies will be coming in.” The bread -shortage was in reality due to the action of the Duma--it was an -organised arrangement!! - -Each day matters grew worse. Fighting took place in the streets, -drunkards indulged in indescribable orgies, the police were murdered -much in the same manner as they have been in Ireland. It was bitterly -cold--snow lay in deep drifts, and Petrograd was in the iron grip of a -black frost. - -Protopopoff, the Minister of the Interior, was always -ultra-optimistic--I never liked or trusted him; he did not seem the man -to handle any great crisis. He was appreciated by the Duma until his -deplorable interview in Stockholm, when he discussed the war in a very -indiscreet manner; but, when the Emperor appointed Protopopoff Minister -of the Interior, he was universally hated, and everyone blamed the -Emperor for appointing a man so singularly devoid of merit. Protopopoff -promised everything, without considering whether his promises were -possible. It was the same with his statements: he disliked telling -unpleasant truths, so he took refuge in pleasant evasions. He was the -man who continually told the Imperial Family that nothing could possibly -happen. “Trust in me,” said Protopopoff, striking an attitude. And, -whenever someone meekly remarked that the working classes were -undoubtedly restive, Protopopoff struck another attitude which implied, -“Did I fancy I heard you say ‘_restive_’?” and, aloud, in pained but -hearty tones: “What? Are you actually troubling yourself about a little -unrest? We’ll soon crush them--Labour cannot stand up against _Me_.” - -It may be asked: Why did the Imperial Family, and especially the -Empress, place so much reliance in M. Protopopoff’s statements, as, -since the Empress knew all that was written concerning her, she, at -least, could have possessed no illusions? The answer is simple: The -Empress knew that she was unpopular, but she never would believe that -this unpopularity lay with the people--she attributed the scandals and -calumnies to class-hatred, and to that craving for sensation without -which a certain section of the Press would be unable to exist. When, -made bold by my ever growing apprehensions, I ventured to tell the -Empress that in these days the “people” were not paragons of fidelity, -she bade me remember the afternoon, not long distant, when we drove out -to a little “Lett” village near Peterhof. I _did_ remember. The -automobile had stopped near the church, and, the moment the Empress -alighted, she was surrounded by a crowd of peasants, who knelt before -her, and, with tears in their eyes, prayed aloud for her happiness. -After this the Empress was offered bread and salt, and it was with great -difficulty that a passage was cleared to her waiting automobile. This -incident occurred two years before the Revolution. “And yet you tell me, -Lili, that these people wish me ill!” - -“Madame, many things have happened during the last two years.” - -“_Nothing_ has happened, Lili, to touch the real heart of Russia.” - -I do not profess to have any knowledge of politics, and I never wished -to meddle in them, so it is impossible for me to attempt to discuss the -so-called political influence of the Empress. We hardly ever spoke of -politics, but I can truthfully state that I never once heard her utter -one sentiment that might be described as even faintly pro-German. Her -letters written after her arrest, which are reproduced for the first -time, ought to plead for her more strongly than any words of mine. When -the Empress wrote to me, neither she nor I had any idea that part of her -correspondence would be read by the English public. The letters might -never have reached _me_: they were smuggled out of the Palace and sent -from Tobolsk in circumstances of much difficulty and danger. But they -breathe sincerity of purpose in every line: they were written when the -shadow of death was falling on the Imperial Family.... There is no trace -of the hysterical, intriguing woman in any of them. The letter which -contains the passage relating to the fleet will perhaps serve to -vindicate the memory of the Empress more than anything else, at least so -far as her alleged pro-Germanism is affected. Even now, Justice, blind, -but nevertheless all-seeing, has decreed that Germany should acknowledge -having laid the mines which destroyed the “Hampshire”: Germany, brought -to book, would not have scrupled to lay the guilt to the charge of the -Empress, especially since she cannot defend herself. But Germany has not -availed herself of the universal detestation which surrounds the name of -Alexandra Feodorovna: so she has, at least, been spared _one_ -degradation. - - - - -Part II--The Revolution - - - - -CHAPTER I - - -On Saturday, February 25th, 1917, the Empress told me that she wished me -to come to Tsarkoe Selo on the following Monday, and I was (let me -confess it) still in bed when the telephone rang at 10 a.m. I suppose my -delay in answering must have amused the Empress, for her first words -were: “I believe you have only just got out of bed, Lili. Listen, I want -you to come to Tsarkoe by the 10.45 train. It’s a lovely morning. We’ll -go for a run in the car, so I’ll meet you at the station. You can see -the girls and Anna, and return to Petrograd at 4 p.m. I’m certain you -won’t catch the train, but anyhow I’ll be at the station to meet it.” - -I dressed at express speed, and, snatching up my gloves, a few rings, -and a bracelet, I ran into the street in search of a fiacre. I had quite -forgotten that there was a strike, and no conveyances were available! At -this moment I saw M. Sablin’s carriage: I hailed him, and begged for a -lift to the station. On the way I questioned him. - -“What news, Monsieur ...?” - -“There’s nothing fresh,” he replied, “but everything is quite all right, -although I must admit it is very strange about the bread shortage.” - -The train for Tsarkoe was just moving out of the station when I arrived -on the platform, but I scrambled in, and found myself in the company of -Madame Tanieff, Anna’s mother, who was going to see her daughter, now -ill, like the Grand Duchesses Olga and Tatiana, with the measles. Madame -Tanieff, like M. Sablin, knew nothing fresh; she was chiefly concerned -about Anna’s illness; but the first words of the Empress, who, true to -her promise, was awaiting me, were: - -“Well, how is it in Petrograd? I hear things are very serious.” - -We said that there was apparently nothing alarming, and the Empress told -Madame Tanieff to get into the car with us, and she would take her to -the Palace. - -It was a glorious morning: I remembered the splendour of the day long -afterwards; the sky was an Italian blue, and snow lay everywhere. We -were not able to drive in the Park on account of the drifts! On the way -back, we met Captain Hvostchinsky, one of the Garde Equipage. The -Empress intimated her wish to speak to him, and the car stopped. - -Captain Hvostchinsky smiled at the notion of danger. “There is no -danger, Your Majesty” he said; so, reassured, the Empress and I returned -to the Palace. I went at once to see the Grand Duchesses. They were -certainly very ill, suffering from bad pains in the ears; but they were -pleased to see me, and I sat between the two camp beds, talking to them. -After lunch I went up again, and presently the Empress joined us. - -She beckoned me into the next room: I could see that she was agitated. -“Lili,” she said, breathlessly, “it is _very_ bad. I have just seen -Colonel Grotten, and General Resin, and they report that the Litovsky -Regiment has mutinied, murdered the officers, and left barracks: the -Volinsky Regiment has followed suit. I can’t understand it. I’ll never -believe in the possibility of Revolution--why, only yesterday, everyone -said it was impossible! The peasants love us ... they adore Alexis! I’m -sure that the trouble is confined to Petrograd alone. But I want you to -go and see Anna ... she may also have been told this, and you know how -easily she is frightened!” - -I found Anna ill, and light-headed, and, as I entered her bedroom, I -thought what a contrast it presented to the cool, darkened room which I -had just left. Olga and Tatiana were so patient, they lay so still, and -were grateful for any attention. _This_ sick room resembled a “lever du -Roi” in the days of Louis XIV. Anna was surrounded by a crowd of -“sisters” and three doctors were in attendance. Madame Tanieff was -there, looking the picture of misery, and Anna’s sister, who was almost -hysterical, kept on exclaiming, “All is lost.” They had expected General -Tanieff to lunch, but he had not arrived ... there was no news of him. -What were they to do? General Tanieff entered in the midst of this -confusion, breathless, and scarlet in the face. “Petrograd is in the -hands of the mob,” he exclaimed, “they are stopping all cars ... they -commandeered mine, and I’ve had to walk every step of the way.” - -At this intelligence, Allie Pistolkors (she had married the Grand Duke -Paul’s stepson) burst into tears and begged me to ask the Empress what -she had better do. I promised to see the Empress at once, and, as the -Grand Duchesses Anastasie and Marie had just come to fetch me, I -returned to the private apartments with them. - -The winter afternoon was fast drawing in, and I found the Empress alone -in her boudoir. She could give me no message for Mme Pistolkors. “I -don’t _know_ what to advise,” she said, sadly. Then, turning to me, -“What are _you_ going to do, Lili? Titi is in Petrograd ... had you not -better return to him this evening?” - -At the sight of the Empress, so tragically alone, so helpless in the -midst of the signs and splendour of temporal power, I could hardly -restrain my tears. Controlling myself with an effort, I tried to steady -my voice: - -“Permit me to remain with _you_, Madame,” I entreated. - -The Empress looked at me without speaking. Then she took me in her arms -and held me close, and kissed me many times, saying as she did so: - -“I _cannot_ ask you to do this, Lili.” - -“But I must, Madame,” I answered.... “Please, please let me stay. I -can’t go back to Petrograd and leave you here.” - -The Empress told me that she had tried to ’phone the Emperor, and that -she had been unable to do so. “But I have wired him, asking him to -return immediately. He’ll be here on Wednesday morning.” - -After this conversation we went to see the Grand Duchesses, and the -Empress lay down on a couch in their bedroom. I sat beside her, and we -conversed in low tones so as not to awaken the sleeping girls. The -Empress was still unable to believe in the reports, and she expressed a -wish to see the Grand Duke Paul. “How I wish he would come,” she said. -She then asked me to go over to Anna’s apartments, and say that she felt -too unwell to come herself. - -Anna’s room still looked like a “lever du Roi”; Allie had taken her -departure, so Mme Tanieff told me, and had gone to the Palace of the -Grand Duke Paul. I lost no time in delivering the Empress’s message, and -quickly returned to her. The evening wore on.... News came that -Petrograd was in a state of upheaval, and that crowds of mutineers were -everywhere. The Empress begged me to ’phone Linavitch, the A.D.C. to the -Emperor, and ask him to tell us what was happening. Linavitch was in -command of a company of Horse Artillery at Pavlosk, two miles from -Tsarkoe Selo, so it was not difficult to “get” him. “Tell Her Majesty,” -he said, “that I am here with my company, and that all will be well.” - -I spent the evening with the Empress in the mauve boudoir, and she told -me how glad she was to have me near her. “I know the Grand Duchesses -want you to be somewhere close to their room, so I’ve decided that the -red drawing-room will be the best place for you to sleep.[1] Come with -me. Anastasie is waiting for us,” she said. - -The red drawing-room was a fine room; everything in it was upholstered -in scarlet, and scarlet and white chintz covered the easy chairs. A bed -had been arranged on one of the couches, and the two Grand Duchesses, -with tender solicitude, had seen to the minor details themselves. -Anastasie’s nightgown lay outside the coverlet, Marie had put a lamp and -an ikon on the table by the bed; and a snapshot of Titi, taken from -their collection of photographs, had been hastily framed, and occupied a -place next to the holy ikon. How dearly I loved them all ... how glad I -was that I was privileged to share their danger! - -The Empress left me with Anastasie, as she wished to see Count -Benckendorff, so Anastasie and I sat down comfortably on the red carpet, -and amused ourselves with jig-saw puzzles until she returned. - -The Empress came back from her interview with Count Benckendorff in a -state of painful agitation, and, directly Anastasie had gone to bed, she -told me that the reports were worse. “I don’t want the girls to know -anything until it is impossible to keep the truth from them ...” she -said, “but people are drinking to excess, and there is indiscriminate -shooting in the streets. Oh, Lili, what a blessing that we have here the -most devoted troops ... there is the Garde Equipage ... they are all our -personal friends, and I place implicit faith in the tirailleurs of -Tsarkoe.” - -I think that this thought comforted her: she seemed happier when she -bade me good night. - -I woke early on Tuesday morning.... Sleep - -[Illustration: BACK ROW - -left to right: - -Grand Duchesses Marie, Olga, and Tatiana - -CENTRE - -left to right: - -H.I.M. The Tsaritsa, Tsar Nicholas II. Grand Duchess Anastasia - -FRONT - -The Tsarevitch - -THE IMPERIAL FAMILY] - -had been almost impossible, but I had dropped into an uneasy slumber -soon after dawn. I dressed at once, hoping to be ready for the Empress, -but she was before me, and at half-past eight she entered the red -drawing-room. We went at once to the Grand Duchesses, and drank our -_café au lait_ in their room. The Empress told me that she had wired -repeatedly to the Tsar, but had received no reply. Later in the morning -she received Count Benckendorff and Colonel Grotten, who informed her -that matters were becoming more alarming and that the Garde Equipage had -better remain inside the Palace, as there was a report that the mob, -supported by the Duma, was even now marching on Tsarkoe. - -The Empress immediately consented; she was really delighted at the -thought of having the Garde Equipage at the Palace, and the Grand -Duchesses were frankly overjoyed. “It’s just like being on the yacht -again,” they said. The Garde Equipage, which was now augmented by the -Mixed Guard, and by sentinels taken from the Cossack Convoi, took up its -quarters outside the Palace and in the vast souterrains. One part of the -Palace was arranged as an ambulance station. We were very busy, but the -Grand Duchesses made light of danger and showed none of our agitation. -The Empress was always awaiting a reply to her telegrams. None came. - -Tuesday was a day of general unrest. It seemed as if the weather were in -sympathy with man’s savage mood. The blue sky of Monday had vanished, an -icy blizzard swept around the Palace, and a north wind drove the deep -snow into still deeper drifts. In the afternoon, on my way back from -seeing Anna, I encountered Baroness Ysa Büxhoevgen on one of the -corridors. She was almost running and she seemed very much disturbed. “I -must see the Empress,” she said. “I’ve just come from Tsarkoe Selo (the -town): everything is awful--they say there is mutiny and dissatisfaction -amongst the troops.” Ysa’s terror was general: panic seized the dwellers -in the Palace, but none of the servants left us. Mlle Schneider’s maids, -it is true, fled, but they came back again the next day. - -The Empress was very anxious to see the Grand Duke Paul, but I believe -that at first there was some misunderstanding, as the Grand Duke thought -that etiquette demanded that the Empress should ask _him_, and he -declared that he would not come unless she did. I had received a hint of -this, so, when next I saw the Empress, I suggested that perhaps the -Grand Duke was waiting for her invitation.... This had not occurred to -the Empress; she told me to ’phone at once and ask the Grand Duke to -come and see her after dinner. - -I was placed, unwillingly, in a very awkward predicament. I had no -official position at Court, but the Empress seemed to think that my duty -was to act as her mouthpiece, and to assume an authority which I was far -from desiring. - -However, I ’phoned to the Palace of the Grand Duke, and, in the name of -the Empress, I asked him to come to Tsarkoe Selo. His son answered the -’phone, and rather brusquely demanded to know who on all the earth was -speaking. - -“Lili Dehn,” I said. - -His “_Oh!_” was more eloquent than words! - -During the afternoon the Empress called me into her boudoir. “Lili,” she -said, “they say that a hostile crowd of 300,000 persons is marching on -the Palace. We shall not be, we _must_ not be afraid. Everything is in -the hands of God. To-morrow the Emperor is sure to come.... I _know_ -that, when he does, all will be well.” She then asked me to ’phone to -Petrograd, and get in touch with my aunt, Countess Pilar, and other -friends. I ’phoned to several, but the news grew worse and worse. At -last I ’phoned to my flat. The Emperor’s A.D.C., Sablin, who lived in -the same building, answered my ring. I begged him to take care of Titi, -and, if it were possible, to join us at Tsarkoe, as the Imperial Family -needed protection; but he replied that a ring of flames practically -surrounded the building, which was well watched by hostile sailors. He -managed, however, to bring Titi to the ’phone--and my heart ached when I -heard my child’s anxious voice: - -“Mamma, when are you coming back?” - -“Darling, I’ll come very soon.” - -“Oh, _please_ come; it’s so dreadful here.” - -I felt torn between love and duty, but I had long since decided where my -duty lay. - -I told the Empress what Sablin had reported; she listened in silence, -and then, by some tremendous effort of will, she regained her usual -composure. Her strength strengthened me. We had, indeed, every need for -courage. The poor “children” were lying desperately ill.... They looked -almost like corpses.... Anna was in high fever, the Palace was -terror-stricken, and outside brooded the dread spectre of Revolution! - -All at once the Empress was seized with an idea to talk to the soldiers. -I begged to accompany her, in case of any unforeseen treachery, but she -refused. “Why, Lili,” she said, reproachfully, “they’re all friends!” -Marie and Anastasie went with her, and I watched them from a window. It -was quite dark, and the great courtyard was illuminated with what -appeared to be exceptionally powerful electric lights. The distant sound -of guns was audible ... the night was bitterly cold. From where I stood, -I could see the Empress, wrapped in furs, walking from one man to -another, utterly fearless of her safety. She was the calm, dignified -Tsaritsa--the typical consort of the Tsar of all the Russias. Here was -no hysterical religious maniac, no abandoned heroine of the novel! The -Empress moved in this tragic _mise en scène_, protected by her own -goodness; but, when the light fell on her fair, pale face, I trembled. I -knew her weak heart, her delicacy of physique--suppose she were to -faint? - -When the Empress came back, she was apparently possessed by some inward -exaltation. She was radiant; her trust in the “people” was complete, she -was sustained by that, often, alas, broken reed of friendship. “They are -our friends,” she kept on repeating, “they are so devoted to us.” She -was, alas, presently to discover that the name of Judas is often -synonymous with that of a friend. - -One thing troubled her fleeting happiness. “I haven’t seen a company in -the basement.... It is such a pity, but I didn’t feel well enough. -Perhaps I can manage it to-morrow.” - -After her visit to the soldiers, the Empress received Count and Countess -Benckendorff, who asked to be permitted to remain at the Palace. Their -request was gladly granted, and rooms were arranged for them. - -The Grand Duke Paul arrived later in the evening. He was a tall, -imposing man, who was considered to be very fascinating, and, what was -more to his credit, excessively kind at heart. He had a long -conversation with the Empress, and we could hear their agitated voices -in the next room. The Empress told me afterwards that almost her first -words had been: - -“What of the Guards?” - -And the Grand Duke had replied in tones of fatality: - -“I can do nothing. Nearly all of them are at the Front.” - -When we went to bid the Grand Duchesses good night, I was distressed to -find that the firing was distinctly to be heard from their room. Olga -and Tatiana did not appear to notice it, but, when their mother had -gone, Olga asked me what the noise signified. “Darling, I don’t -know--it’s nothing. The hard frost makes everything sound much more,” I -said lightly. - -“But are you _sure_, Lili?” persisted the Grand Duchess. “Even Mamma -seems nervous, we’re so worried about her heart; she’s most certainly -overtiring herself--_do_ ask her to rest.” - -The Empress decided that Marie should sleep with her. “You, Lili, will -sleep in the room with Anastasie, and have Marie’s bed. Don’t take off -your corsets ... one doesn’t know what may happen. The Emperor arrives -between 5 and 7 to-morrow morning, and we must be ready to meet him. -Come to my room early, and then I’ll tell you the train.” - -Neither the Grand Duchess nor I could sleep, and we lay awake in the -darkness talking in low tones. Occasionally I was silent, but, when this -was so, Anastasie never failed to ask: “Lili, are you asleep?” - -During the night we got up and looked out of the windows. A huge gun had -been placed in the courtyard. “How astonished Papa will be!” whispered -Anastasie. We stood for a few minutes watching the weird scene. It was -so bitterly cold that the sentinels were dancing round the gun in order -to keep warm. Their figures were sharply defined against the -arc-lights--it seemed like some new Carmagnole; in the distance we heard -shouts of drunken voices and occasional shots--and so the night passed. - -At 5 a.m. on Wednesday morning we went downstairs to the Empress’s -bedroom. She was awake, and as she opened the door she whispered: “Hush -... Marie is asleep: the train is late.... Most probably the Emperor -won’t come until ten.” The Empress was fully dressed, and she looked so -sad that I could not help saying impulsively: “Oh, Madame, _why_ is the -train late?” - -She smiled wanly, but did not reply. As we went back to our bedroom, -Anastasie said in agitated tones: “Lili, the train is _never_ late. Oh, -if Papa would only come quickly.... I’m beginning to feel ill. What -shall I do if I get ill? I can’t be useful to Mamma.... Oh, Lili, say -I’m not going to be ill.” - -I tried to calm her, and I persuaded her to lie down on her bed and -sleep; but the poor child was actually sickening for the measles. -Anastasie was the sweetest-natured girl: she adored her mother, and -delighted in running hither and thither on her errands. The Empress -always alluded to Anastasie as “my legs!” - -When the Empress joined me in Olga’s room a little before nine, she -still hoped for the 10 o’clock train. “Perhaps the blizzard detains -him,” she said. She lay down on the couch, and I sat on the floor beside -her; we spoke in undertones; but her chief anxiety was concerning my -want of sleep. - -“Sit on a chair, Lili, and put your feet up on the couch,” she said. - -“No--no--Madame,” I replied, “it is not to be thought of.” But, at her -request, I compromised matters by resting the tips of my shoes on the -end of the couch. - -Ten o’clock came, but we still heard nothing. It was the first of March, -a month fatal to the Romanoffs--well might they “beware the Ides of -March!” The Emperor Paul was suffocated on the first of March, and, -thirty-six years previously, on this date, the Emperor’s grandfather, -Alexander II, was killed by a bomb. The March of 1917 is destined to be -associated with the downfall of the dynasty. - -We were living in a state of continual and unrelieved anxiety. Dr. -Botkin and Dr. Direvenko were in constant attendance on the three Grand -Duchesses, but the Tsarevitch was, fortunately, much better. Poor -Anastasie could not reconcile herself to the idea of being ill: she -cried and cried, and kept on repeating, “Please don’t keep me in bed.” - -Service in the Palace was quite normal, but the water supply which -worked the private lift used by the Empress had been cut off, and in -consequence she was now obliged to walk upstairs. This sounds a trivial -incident, but it entailed a great deal of suffering on the Empress, who -was already overtired and overstrung. Her heart, always affected, now -became much worse, owing to her having to go up and down stairs so -often, but she insisted upon seeing her children, and she used to go up -the staircase at times almost on the verge of fainting. I supported -her--walking behind her and holding her underneath the arms. - -We could not understand what had become of the Emperor: the Empress -thought that the delay arose owing to the confusion on the railways, -which were now in the hands of the Revolutionaries. - -The dreary afternoon of March 1st was signalised by an unhappy -occurrence. The Empress and I were standing at the window overlooking -the courtyard, when we noticed that many of the soldiers had bound white -handkerchiefs on their wrists. An enquiry as to the reason elicited the -reply that the white handkerchiefs signified that upon the -representation of a Member (who had come to Tsarkoe Selo) the troops had -consented to act in unison with the Duma. - -The Empress turned to me. “Well ... so everything is in the hands of the -Duma,” she said, with a certain degree of bitterness. “Let us hope that -it will bestir itself, and do something to remedy the disaffection.” - -<p>[Illustration: SHOOTING PARTY IN FINLAND, AUTUMN, 1910 - -Center—the Emperor: Right—Lieut.-Com. Dehn]</>p - -<p>[Illustration: THE TSAREVITCH AT G.H.Q.]</>p - -<p>[Illustration: THE TSAREVITCH AND HIS SPANIEL ‘JOY’]</p> - -She moved away from the window. I could see she was hurt and -disappointed ... but this was not destined to be the last of her many -disillusions! - -Count Appraxin, Secretary to the Empress, arrived later in the day: he -had experienced the greatest difficulty in reaching Tsarkoe--and his -news was not reassuring. We sat up late that evening--dinner had been a -mere farce--our minds were too anxious and too preoccupied to think of -food. The children were dangerously ill, the whereabouts of the Emperor -were unknown, and the Revolution was at our gates. When at last I bade -the Empress good night, she told me not to undress. “I’m not going to do -so,” she said, and her quiet tones were significant that she anticipated -the worst! - - - - -CHAPTER II - - -Early on the morning of March 2nd the Empress came into the Grand -Duchesses’ bedroom. She was deathly pale--she seemed hardly alive. As I -ran towards her I heard her agitated whisper: “Lili--the troops have -deserted!” - -I found no words with which to answer. I was stupefied. At last I -managed to stammer: - -“Why, Madame? In the name of God, why?” - -“Their Commander-in-Chief, the Grand Duke Cyril, has sent for them.” -Then, unable to contain herself, the Empress said brokenly, “My -sailors--my _own_ sailors--I can’t believe it.” - -But it was too true. The Garde Equipage had left the Palace at 1 a.m. -and 5 a.m.--the “faithful friends,” the “devoted subjects,” were with us -no longer. The officers of the Garde were received by the Empress in the -mauve boudoir during the morning: I was present, and I heard from one of -my husband’s friends that the duty of taking the Garde to Petrograd had -been carried out by a “temporary gentleman,” Lieutenant Kouzmine. The -officers were furious, especially their commandant, Miasocdoff-Ivanof, a -big, burly sailor, whose kind eyes were full of tears.... One and all -begged to be allowed to remain with the Empress, who, almost overcome by -emotion, thanked them, saying: “Yes--yes--I beg you to remain: this has -been a terrible blow, what _will_ the Emperor say when he hears about -it!” She then sent for General Resin, the Commander of the Mixed Guard, -and instructed him to make room for the loyal officers in his regiment. - -General Resin told me long afterwards that he was relieved when he knew -that the cowardly Garde had actually left the Palace, as orders had been -given for a detachment to go on one of the church towers which commanded -a view of the courtyard, and if, by a certain time, the troops had not -joined the Duma, to train two enormous field-guns on to the Palace! - -There was still no news of the Emperor, although the Empress constantly -telegraphed. It was reported that his train was returning to G.H.Q., and -at the time many people thought that if it reached there the troops -would have followed the Emperor. We ’phoned to the hospitals for news, -and the Empress received a good many people. To all these she was her -usual calm, dignified self. When I marvelled at her fortitude, she -replied: “Lili, I must _not_ give way. I keep on saying, ‘_I must -not_’--it helps me.” - -In the late afternoon, Rita Hitrowo (one of the younger -ladies-in-waiting, and a friend of the Grand Duchesses) arrived from -Petrograd with the worst possible tidings, and, after the Empress had -spoken to Rita, she received two officers of the Mixed Guard, who -proposed to try and get a letter from her through to the Emperor: it was -arranged that they should leave Tsarkoe the next evening. The Empress -was always willing to hope. But the night passed, and still never a word -came from the Emperor. - -On March 3rd I took my _café au lait_ with Marie, and we were joined by -the Empress. It was a day of agony. The Grand Duchesses grew worse: -their ears were badly inflamed, it seemed as if they might not recover. -The Empress tried to snatch a little rest by occasionally lying on a -couch: her feet had now become very painful, and her heart affection -was, at times, alarming. Meals were silent and horrible affairs: I felt -as though each morsel would choke me. But, as I had now grown desperate -with anxiety, I conceived the notion of communicating with the Emperor -by aeroplane. Might not his whereabouts be discovered in this way? The -Empress welcomed the idea, and she sent for General Resin, and asked for -an aeroplane to be despatched at once. He agreed, but even the weather -was against us.... A blizzard set in; the dark sky was blotted out with -scudding snow, and the wind howled dismally round the Palace. - -The Grand Duke Paul arrived about 7 o’clock in the evening. The Empress -was engaged in writing letters for the officers to convey to the -Emperor, but she received the Grand Duke without a moment’s delay. - -The interview took place in the red drawing-room. Marie and I were in -the adjoining study, and from time to time we heard the loud voice of -the Grand Duke and the agitated replies of the Empress. Marie began to -get apprehensive. - -“Why is he shouting at Mamma?” she asked. “Don’t you think I had better -see what’s the matter, Lili?” - -“No, no,” I said, “we had better remain here quietly.” - -“_You_ can remain, but I’ll go to my room,” she answered. “I can’t bear -to think Mamma is worried.” - -Hardly had the Grand Duchess left the study when the door opened and the -Empress appeared. Her face was distorted with agony, her eyes were full -of tears. She tottered rather than walked, and I rushed forward and -supported her until she reached the writing-table between the windows. -She leant heavily against it, and, taking my hands in hers, she said -brokenly: - -“_Abdiqué!_” - -I could not believe my ears. I waited for her next words. They were -hardly audible. At last: “_Le pauvre ... tout seul là bas ... et passé -... oh, mon Dieu, par quoi il a passé! Et je ne puis pas être près de -lui pour le consoler._” - -“_Madame, très chère Madame, il faut avoir du courage._” - -She paid no attention to me, and kept on repeating, “_Mon Dieu, que -c’est pénible.... Tout seul là bas!_” I put my arms around her and we -walked slowly up and down the long room. At last, fearing for her -reason, I cried: “_Mais Madame--au nom de Dieu--il vit!!_” - -“Yes, Lili,” she replied, as if new hope inspired her. “Yes, he lives.” - -“I entreat you, Madame, don’t lose your courage, don’t give way: think -of your children and of the Emperor.” - -The Empress considered me with almost painful scrutiny. - -“And you, Lili, what of you?” - -“Madame, I love you more than anything in this world.” - -“I know it--I see it, Lili.” - -“Well, Madame, _write_ to him. Think how pleased he will be.” I drew the -Empress towards the writing-table, and she sank on a chair.... “Write, -dear Madame, write,” I repeated. - -She obeyed almost like a child, murmuring, “Yes, Lili ... how glad he’ll -be.” - -Feeling that I might venture to leave the Empress for a few minutes, I -went in search of Dr. Botkin, who gave me a composing draught for -her.... But the Empress did not wish to take it, and it was only when I -said: “For _his_ sake, Madame,” that she complied. - -The sound of bitter weeping now attracted my attention. In one corner of -the room crouched the Grand Duchess Marie. She was as pale as her -mother. She _knew_ all! At this moment Volkoff, that faithful servant, -entered, and in trembling tones announced that dinner was served. The -Empress rose and endeavoured to regain her composure.... I followed her -into the next room. She looked round. “Where is Marie?” she said. - -I went back to the red drawing-room. Marie was still crouching in the -corner. She was so young, so helpless, so hurt, that I felt I must -comfort her as one comforts a child. I knelt beside her, her head rested -on my shoulder. I kissed her tear-stained face. - -“Darling,” I said, “don’t cry.... You will make Mamma so unhappy. Think -of _her_.” - -At the words, “Think of _her_,” the Grand Duchess remembered the -unswerving devotion of the children towards their parents. Every thing -was always subservient to Mamma and Papa. - -“Ah ... I’d forgotten, Lili. Yes, I must think of Mamma,” she answered. -Little by little her sobs ceased, her composure returned, and she went -with me to her mother. - -That night the Empress and I sat up very late: she had paid her usual -visit to the Grand Duchesses, when she had tried outwardly to appear -calm. But alone with me it was a different matter. The Empress told me -that the Emperor had abdicated in favour of the Tsarevitch. “Now _he’ll_ -be taken from me,” she cried. “The people are to assume the Regency. -What shall I do?” She started at every footfall; she trembled at the -mere sound of a voice.... One idea obsessed her--someone might come at -any moment to take away her son! - -“But, Madame, nothing can be done until the Emperor returns.” - -“No, surely they will not dare; and he’ll be with us very soon,” she -said. Then, with her usual unselfishness, the Empress insisted upon -seeing Count Benckendorff. “I must console him and strengthen him. I can -imagine his state of mind.” - -It was an affecting interview.... I do not know what actually -transpired, but, when the Empress returned, she was crying. “_Le pauvre -vieux_,” she murmured, as if to herself. - -I did not allow the Empress to see how apprehensive I was, how utterly -despairing. I did not share her optimism.... The position was most -precarious, and the desperate condition of the Grand Duchesses augmented -the general unhappiness. Our only hope lay in the Emperor’s return--at -any rate, his presence would afford us some moral protection! That night -Marie and I slept in the red drawing-room. We lay awake for hours -talking about the new developments. But one thought consoled us. The -Emperor was still alive! - -When the Empress paid her usual visit to the Grand Duchesses, she told -us that her first idea was to see all those in the Palace, and console -them as much as possible. Countess Gendrinkoff, her devoted -lady-in-waiting, who was away visiting a sick relative, returned to -Tsarkoe directly she heard of the Emperor’s abdication, and her meeting -with the Empress was most touching. At first neither of them spoke; and -then the Countess, usually a most self-contained individual, broke into -bitter weeping. - -It was a tragic morning. Towards noon the Empress sent for me. “Lili,” -she said, “the Duma is losing no time. M. Rodziansko[2] has intimated -that we must make our preparations for departure. He says we are to meet -the Emperor somewhere _en route_. But we can’t possibly go; how can we -move the children? I’ve spoken to the doctors, and they say it would be -fatal! I’ve told Rodziansko this, and he is returning later to acquaint -me with the decision of the Duma.” - -Rodziansko and his colleagues returned at the time appointed. They were -at once taken to the Empress. - -“The decision of the Duma is unalterable,” said Rodziansko curtly. - -“But my children--my daughters ...” pleaded the Empress. - -“When a house is on fire, it is best to leave it,” answered Rodziansko, -with a sardonic smile. - -There was apparently nothing to be done. We were at the mercy of -Tiberius, and we commenced our preparations for departure. The Empress -asked me if I would like to accompany them. I begged to be permitted to -do so. “I _cannot_ leave you, Madame,” I said. - -We endeavoured to ’phone to certain friends, but it was impossible. At -last the operator, in frightened tones, whispered, “I can’t give you the -number; the telephone is not in our hands. I beg you, don’t talk--I’ll -ring you up directly it is safe.” - -In the course of the afternoon a servant informed us that an officer of -one of the Tartar regiments begged the Empress to receive him. The -Empress asked me to interview him, as she felt too ill to do so, and -accordingly I went over to the fourth wing of the Palace, where the -officer was waiting. As I traversed the long corridors, I heard the -sound of rough voices. I stopped, terrified, at the entrance of one of -the salons--the Mixed Guards were just about to change the guard; but -“changing the guard” was no longer the decorous proceeding of -yester-year! When the fresh detachment entered the salon, they threw -themselves literally into the arms of the other soldiers, shouting, -“New-born citizens of freedom, we congratulate you.” - -I passed the “new-born citizens of freedom,” and I found Lieutenant -Markoff, to whom I explained the reason of my “deputising.” The poor boy -had been wounded, he could scarcely stand; but his spirit was -unconquerable. “Madame,” he said, “I’ve fought my way through the mob -in order to see the Empress, and assure her of my devotion. The -assassins wanted to tear off my epaulettes with HER cypher. I told them -that the Empress had given them to me, and that it was her right alone -to deprive me of them. I’ve arrived here at last.... I entreat you to -ask the Empress to allow me to remain somewhere near her.... I don’t -care if I wash up the dirty plates. I’ll do anything--only let me stay!” - -I promised Markoff to deliver his message, and on my way back I heard -the soldiers laughing and singing. Sick at heart, and utterly disgusted -at their behaviour, I reported it to the Empress. “_Les malheureux_,” -she said, “_ce n’est pas leur faute, c’est la faute à ceux qui les -trompent_.” She granted poor young Markoff’s request, and told me to see -General Resin, and arrange for Markoff to be included in his detachment. - -I suppose the first idea of most people in the position of the Empress, -faced with hurried flight, would have been to save their jewels. But -jewels were a secondary consideration with the Empress; her chief -treasures were those of sentiment, and, as I watched her collecting her -favourite books and photographs, I thought that in this instance, as in -all others, she was more of the woman than the Empress. And the idea of -leaving the scene of many of her happiest associations must have been -heart-rending to her. She had transformed the Palace into a home; here -she had watched the beautiful growth of her four fair daughters and her -adored son. And here she was destined to drink the uttermost dregs of -the Cup of Sorrow. - -Whilst she was gathering together her personal treasures, the Empress, -recalled in imagination to Petrograd, by the sight of a photograph, -asked me to telephone to Prince Ratief, the Commandant of the Winter -Palace, and tell him that her thoughts were with them all. Fortunately I -was enabled to do so; the Prince himself answered my call. “I thank Her -Majesty from my heart. We are still alive, but crowds surround the -Palace,” he said. - -After dinner, we went to see the Grand Duchesses, and then to the mauve -boudoir--there was no news from the Emperor; all sorts of rumours were -current, the most insistent being that he had returned to G.H.Q. - -Sunday, the 5th of March, was for us another hopeless dawn. The Empress -gave orders for a Te Deum to be sung, and the miraculous ikon from -Znaminie[3] brought to the Palace and taken to the sick-rooms. The -procession bearing the ikon passed through the Palace; the Empress -walked in it, and, as I looked at the lovely representation of the -Virgin and Child, the expression of the eyes seemed the same which I had -often seen in those of the Empress--a combination of Faith, Hope and -Tragedy! - -It was a strange sight to witness the solemn little procession as it -traversed the almost deserted splendours of the Palace. Incense wafted -wreaths of perfume towards Heaven, the solemn chant rose and fell, the -gold and blues of the Virgin’s draperies glowed when the ikon passed one -of the windows, the sacred symbol of the Cross raised its head above -the tumult of Revolution. It seemed to me as if this were some last -appeal to God, Who, we are told, is a God of Love and Pity. - -The Empress was anxious that the ikon should be taken to Anna’s room, so -the procession wended its way thither. There, as usual, were the fuss -and overcrowding which seemed inseparable from Anna’s attack of measles; -doctors, nurses and sisters took up all the available space, so, whilst -the Empress was praying by the bedside, I stood by the door. One of the -doctors from Anna’s hospital was near, and, recognising me, he -whispered: “I say, Madame Dehn, I think I shall say good-bye to the -Palace. Things are getting too hot for _my_ comfort.” But, if he -expected an answer, he received _none_. I simply stared at him. - -The Empress was still kneeling by Anna’s bed, and Anna, now thoroughly -hysterical and _exaltée_ by reason of much incense and many prayers, was -crying and kissing the Empress’s folded hands. It is quite impossible -for English readers to imagine such a scene, but these religious -processions in the case of illness were of common occurrence with us. - -I went back to see Anna later in the evening, and, when I entered the -bedroom, I was surprised to see the matron of Anna’s hospital, who was -praying--a taper in her hand. Directly she saw me, her prayers took unto -themselves wings; we had always disliked each other, so our conversation -was short and to the point. - -“What, are _you_ still here?” she exclaimed, meaningly. - -“Yes ... I’m _here_,” I replied, with equal emphasis. - -Anna said nothing; she looked more childish than ever, and very ill at -ease. The impression which I received was a bad one, and, when I related -to the Empress what I had seen, she wrote to the doctor at the hospital, -and asked him to send for the matron, as her presence was not required. -Soon after this she resigned, and, like many others of her kind, she -left Tsarkoe for an unknown destination. - -On Monday, March 6th, all was in readiness for our departure. But one -thing yet remained for us to do, and this was, in my eyes, of the utmost -importance. During one of my restless nights, I suddenly remembered that -the Empress had always kept a diary and that she possessed the diaries -of her friend, Princess Orbelliany, which had been bequeathed to her by -the Princess. - -These contained most intimate accounts of various people, and events -connected with the Court. I likewise remembered the Empress’s -sentimental habit of preserving correspondence with associations, and I -dreaded the possibility of either letters or diaries falling into the -hands of the Revolutionaries. I knew that the worst construction would -be placed by the “Sons of Freedom” on anything unusual which these -papers might contain. Even the Empress’s habit of calling people by pet -names might be construed as sensualism or treason! - -I hardly dared suggest the wisdom of destroying this personal property, -but my devotion triumphed over my nervousness. To my intense surprise, -the Empress at once agreed to do as I proposed. - -It may be argued that I was guilty of the worst Vandalism in persuading -the Empress to destroy her diaries and correspondence. I may have been, -in an historical and artistic sense--but I was right on the score of -friendship. We had already experienced the misconstruction which had -been put on _one_ sentence in a letter: What might not be the fate of -the contents of the Imperial diaries if they fell into the hands of -censorious and “pure-minded” Revolutionaries? - -Princess Orbelliany’s diaries were burned first. They consisted of nine -leather-bound volumes, and we experienced much difficulty in destroying -them. This _auto-da-fé_ of sentiment took place in the red drawing-room, -but we did not attempt to finish burning the diaries and correspondence -in one day. It was at best a melancholy task, and we decided to spread -it over a week--especially as the Grand Duchesses were very ill, and we -had to be with them constantly. Olga was now suffering with inflammation -in the head, and Anastasie made little or no progress. - -After lunch, when the Empress and I were sitting in the mauve boudoir, -we were startled by the sudden entrance of Volkoff. He was very -agitated, his face was pale, he trembled in every limb. Without waiting -to be addressed by the Empress, and utterly oblivious of etiquette, he -cried: “The Emperor is on the ’phone!” - -The Empress looked at Volkoff as if he had taken leave of his senses; -then, as she realised the full import of his words, she jumped up with -the alacrity of a girl of sixteen, and rushed out of the room. - -I waited anxiously. I kept on praying that a little happiness might yet -be hers ... perhaps, for all we knew, the danger had passed. - -When the Empress returned, her face was like an April day--all smiles -and tears! - -“Lili,” she exclaimed, “imagine what were his first words ... he said: -‘I thought that I might have come back to you, but they keep me here. -However, I’ll be with you all very soon.’” The Emperor added that the -Dowager Empress was coming from Kieff to be with him, and that he had -only received the Empress’s wires _after_ the abdication. “The poor -one!” said the Empress. “How much he has suffered! how pleased he’ll be -to see his mother!” - -Thus the day which had begun so sadly ended happily ... we went at once -to tell the glad news to the Grand Duchesses and the Tsarevitch, who was -much better, and greatly excited at the prospect of his father’s return. -M. Gilliard, a charming Swiss, who taught the children French, was with -him, but Mr. Gibbs, his English tutor, was in Petrograd. I always -remember Mr. Gibbs and his kindness to me. On one occasion upon going to -Petrograd he put himself to great inconvenience to get news of Titi, and -procure clothes for myself. Notwithstanding innumerable difficulties, he -returned with reassuring tidings of Titi, and a clean nurse’s uniform -and lingerie for myself.[4] - - - - -CHAPTER III - - -After our usual visit to the children (March 7th) the Empress and I went -into the red drawing-room, where a fierce fire was burning in the huge -grate, and we recommenced our work of destruction. - -A large oaken coffer had been placed on the table; this coffer contained -all the letters written to the Empress by the Emperor during her -engagement and married life. I dared not look at her as she sat gazing -at the letters which meant so much. I think she re-read some of them, -for at intervals I heard stifled sobs, and those sighs which have their -origin in the heart’s bitterness. Many of the letters had been written -before she was a wife and a mother. They were the love-letters of a man -who had loved her wholly and devotedly, who still loved her with the -affection of that bygone Springtime. Little dreamt either the lover or -the beloved that these letters were afterwards destined to be wet with -tears. - -The Empress rose from her chair, and, still weeping, laid her -love-letters one by one on the heart of the fire. The writing glowed for -an instant, as if desirous of burning itself into her very soul, then it -faded, and the paper became a little heap of white ash.... Alas for -Youth! Alas for Love! - -When the Empress had destroyed her correspondence, she handed me her -diaries to burn. Some of the earlier volumes were gay little books bound -in white satin; others were bound in leather. She smiled bravely as I -took them, and an immense disgust seized me when I thought that the -country of my birth was responsible for her misery and the injustice -meted out to her. “I can’t bear Russia,” I cried. “I hate it.” - -“Don’t dare say such things, Lili,” said the Empress. “You hurt me.... -If you love me, don’t ever say you hate Russia. The people are not to -blame; they don’t understand what they are doing.” - -A coloured post-card of South Russia fell out of one of the diaries. I -picked it up. It was a pretty picture of young girls standing in a -flower-starred meadow ... and it brought Revovka back to me. “That’s -_home_,” I murmured. But the Empress heard my words. - -“What did you say? Repeat it, Lili. You said, ‘That’s _home_.’ Now you -must never say you hate Russia.” - -At this time, I am proud to say, the Empress relied on me as woman to -woman. To her, I was always “Lili,” or “My brave girl.” I was her friend -in trouble. The fact that I possessed no official position mattered -nothing to her; every moment I was writing letters, taking messages, and -seeing people on her behalf. I obeyed her absolutely, and her gentle -influence gave me fresh strength to hope and to endure. - -The burning of the diaries extended over Wednesday and Thursday ... but -on Thursday one of the Empress’s dressers came to the red drawing-room -and begged us to discontinue. “Your Majesty,” said she, “the sweepers -are searching for the half-charred pieces of paper, some of which have -been carried up the chimney. I beg of you to cease.... These men are -talking among themselves.... They are utterly disloyal.” But our task -was completed--at any rate we had checkmated the curiosity of the -Revolutionaries! - -At 7 o’clock the Empress asked me to telephone again to the Winter -Palace. As on the previous occasion, Prince Retief answered me. - -“How are things with you?” I enquired. - -“The mob is even now at the gates of the Palace,” he replied with -absolute unconcern. “I beg you, Madame, to present my assurances of -fidelity and devotion to the Empress.... I may not be able to do so -again.... Ah!... I thought as much. Madame, it distresses me to appear -discourteous, but I fear I am about to be killed.... The doors of this -room are being forced!” His voice ceased--there was a terrible crash.... -I could bear no more, and the receiver slipped from my nerveless hands. - -We remained in the mauve boudoir until quite late, but, just as we were -about to go to bed, Volkoff entered in a state of painful agitation. He -managed to tell us that M. Goutchkoff had arrived, and insisted upon -seeing the Empress. It was then 11 o’clock. - -“But, at this hour--it’s impossible,” said the Empress. - -“Your Majesty, he _insists_,” stammered Volkoff. The Empress turned to -me--terror and pathos in her eyes. “He has come to arrest me, Lili,” -she exclaimed. “Telephone to the Grand Duke Paul, and ask him to come at -once.” Regaining her composure, the Empress rearranged the Red Cross -head-dress which she had taken off, and stood waiting in silence for the -Grand Duke. Neither Marie nor myself dared speak. At length, after what -seemed an interminable agony of suspense, the Grand Duke entered, and -the Empress told him in a few words about her ominous summons. The next -moment, loud voices in the corridor, and the banging of a door, -announced Goutchkoff’s arrival in the adjoining room. - -Goutchkoff, the Minister of War during the Revolution, was an openly -avowed personal enemy of the Emperor, whom he had never forgiven for not -having accepted him at his own valuation as the uncrowned king of -Moscow. He had compelled the Emperor to abdicate through revenge; -spiteful curiosity now urged him to gloat over the sufferings of a -defenceless woman! He was a hideous creature, who wore big spectacles -with yellow glasses, which partially disguised the fact that he was -unable to look anyone straight in the face. - -Marie and I clung desperately to the Empress; we were certain that all -was now finished. She kissed us both tenderly, and passed out with the -Grand Duke Paul, an infinitely tragic figure, recalling to my mind a -vision of Marie Antoinette, whose troubles possessed so many -similarities with those of the Empress. Volkoff, that loyal servant, -true to the traditions of Imperial regime, informed us that Goutchkoff -had brought two A.D.C.’s with him, and that one of these men had -accosted him with the words: “Ha, ha! Here we are. You didn’t expect us -to-night, eh? But _we_ are masters of the Palace _now_!” - -Marie and I sat side by side on the sofa, the young girl shook with -fear, but her terror was not for herself--Marie, like all the children, -thought only of her beloved mother. - -In this crisis of their fortunes, the Imperial Family manifested no -sorrow at the loss of their rank and prestige. The only anxiety shown by -them was the fear of parting one from the other. Theirs might have been -the words inscribed upon the wall of a certain old prison in Italy: -“Better death than life without you.” And, if the report of their death -be true, they most mercifully never knew the pain of separation. - -At last footsteps sounded in the corridor--the door of the boudoir -opened--and, to our unspeakable relief, we saw the Empress! - -Marie ran towards her mother, half crying, and half laughing, and the -Empress quickly reassured us. - -“I am not to be arrested this time,” she said. “But, oh! the humiliation -of the interview! Goutchkoff was impossible--I could _not_ give him my -hand. He told me that he merely wanted to see how I was supporting my -trials, and whether or no I was frightened.” Her pale cheeks were -rose-flushed, her eyes sparkled--at this moment the Empress was terrible -in her anger. But she soon regained her calm dignity, and we bade her -good night, thankful that she was spared to us. - -Wednesday, March 8th, is a day momentous in the annals of new-born -Russia, inasmuch as it witnessed the arrest of a woman and five sick -children, and of those adherents who knew the meaning of the words -Friendship and Duty. - -In the morning Count Benckendorff came to inform us that the Emperor -would arrive at Tsarkoe on the 9th, and that the Revolutionary -authorities had decided to arrest everyone in the Palace by noon. The -Count asked the Empress to give him a list of those of her suite who -would be willing to remain, and the Empress at once addressed me: “Lili -... do you understand what this order means? After it is enforced, -nobody will be allowed to leave the Palace, all news from outside will -be stopped. What do you wish to do? Think of Titi ... Can you bear to be -without tidings of him?” - -I did not hesitate. “My greatest wish is to remain with you, Madame,” I -replied. - -“I knew it!” exclaimed the Empress. “But ... it will, I fear, be a -terrible experience for you.” - -“Don’t worry on my account, Madame,” I answered. “We will share the -danger together.” - -At noon, General Korniloff made his appearance at the Palace with the -order for the arrest of the Imperial Family. The Empress received him -wearing her Red Cross uniform, and she was genuinely pleased to see him, -since she laboured under the mistaken idea that he was well disposed -towards herself and the family. She was entirely mistaken, as Korniloff, -thinking that the Empress disliked him, never lost an opportunity of -spreading the most malicious reports concerning her. - -Korniloff told the Empress that the Palace troops were to be replaced -with those of the Revolution; there was no use for the Mixed Guard and -the Cossack Convoi; the Palace was now thronged with Revolutionaries, -who were walking about everywhere. When the officers of the Mixed Guard -bade farewell to the Empress, many of them broke down and sobbed. She -afterwards told me that it was also for her a most painful moment. The -officers asked the Empress for a handkerchief, as a souvenir of her and -the Grand Duchesses.... This handkerchief they proposed to tear in -pieces, and divide between them; and later, to their great joy, we sent -them some “initial” handkerchiefs. - -It was a day of good-byes; many officers came in from Petrograd to bid -farewell to the Imperial Family; the Tanieffs left, as the Empress had -insisted upon them returning to the Palace of the Grand Duke Michael, -where they might reasonably hope to be in safety. - -At last the Empress decided to tell the Grand Duchesses about the -abdication ... she could not bear this painful task to devolve upon her -husband. She therefore made her way to their apartments, and was with -them alone for a long time. Anantasie seemed to sense what had happened -... and after her mother had left them she looked at me, and said, very -quietly, “Mamma has told us everything, Lili; but, as Papa is coming, -nothing else matters. However, you have known what was going on ... how -could you keep it from us? Why, you’re usually so nervous ... how is it -you are so calm?” - -I kissed her, and said that I owed all my fortitude to her mother. She -had set such an example of courage that it was impossible for me not to -follow it. - -When the Empress broke the news to the Tsarevitch, the following -conversation took place: - -“Shall I never go to G.H.Q. again with Papa?” asked the child. - -“No, my darling--never again,” replied his mother. - -“Shan’t I see my regiments and my soldiers?” he said anxiously. - -“No ... I fear not.” - -“Oh dear! And the yacht, and all my friends on board--shall we never go -yachting any more?” He was almost on the verge of tears. - -“No ... we shall never see the ‘Standart.’ ... It doesn’t belong to us -now.” - -The Empress and I took tea together, and she told me how glad she felt -that the Garde Equipage had left their colours in the Palace. “I should -be so sorry to think that the colours were in the possession of the -Duma,” she remarked. At that moment we heard the sound of voices, and a -noise of singing and shouting. The Empress sprang off the couch on which -she was lying, and rushed across to the window. “Oh, Madame, don’t look, -I implore you,” I said, fearing the worst. But she did not hear me. Then -I saw her grow pale, and she fell back half fainting on the couch. The -sailors were leaving the Palace with the colours! - -The Grand Duchess Marie was seized with measles late that evening. Like -her sister, Anastasie, she dreaded being ill. “Oh, I did so want to be -up when Papa comes,” she kept on repeating, until high fever set in, and -she lost consciousness ... her last comprehensible words being, “Lili, -can’t you sleep with Mamma to-night?” - -“Yes, darling,” I told her. “I won’t leave Mamma alone--I’ll be -somewhere near her, even if I have to sleep in the bath.” - -I went to the Empress. “Madame,” I said, “will you permit me to remain -near you to-night?” - -“No, Lili, certainly not. If anything should happen, why should you be -obliged to witness a tragedy?” she replied. - -I returned to Olga and Tatiana, who, like Marie, were very anxious about -their mother. “Lili, you _must_ not leave Mamma alone. One of us has -always slept with her[5]--she’s not strong. Promise, promise us that you -won’t leave her alone;” and, when the Empress came to pay her last visit -to the sick-room, the Grand Duchesses reiterated their request. - -The Empress at first demurred ... but, when she realised how much the -Grand Duchesses dreaded her being left alone, she consented. “Well, -Lili,” she said reluctantly, “you see that the children must have their -own way. But I will not allow anyone to think I am frightened. Undress -upstairs, and, when my maids have left me, slip down the private -staircase, bring your - -[Illustration: HIS IMPERIAL MAJESTY AND THE TSAREVITCH, 1913] - -[Illustration: THE EMPRESS - -(End of 1915)] - -sheets and blankets, and you can make up a bed on the couch in my -boudoir.” - -It was a bright moonlight night. Outside, the snow lay like a pall on -the frost-bound Park. The cold was intense. The silence of the great -Palace was occasionally broken by snatches of drunken songs and the -coarse laughter of the soldiers. The intermittent firing of guns was -audible. It was a night of beauty, defiled by the base passions of men. - -I went quietly downstairs to the mauve boudoir. The Empress was waiting -for me, and as she stood there I thought how girlish she looked. Her -long hair fell in a heavy plait down her back, and she wore a loose silk -dressing-gown over her night clothes. She was very pale, very ethereal, -but unutterably pathetic. - -As I stumbled into the boudoir with my draperies of sheets and blankets -she smiled--a little affectionate, mocking smile, which deepened as she -watched me trying to arrange my bed on the couch. She came forward, -still smiling. “Oh, Lili ... you Russian ladies don’t know how to be -useful. When I was a girl, my grandmother, Queen Victoria, showed me how -to make a bed. I’ll teach _you_.” And she deftly arranged the bedding, -saying, as she did so: “Take care not to lie on this broken spring. I -always had an idea _something_ was amiss with this couch.” - -The bed-making “à la mode de Windsor” was soon finished, and the Empress -kissed me affectionately and bade me good night. “I’ll leave my bedroom -door open,” she said; “then you won’t feel lonely.” - -Sleep for me was impossible. I lay on the mauve couch--_her_ -couch--unable to realise that this strange happening was a part of -ordinary life. Surely I must be dreaming; surely I should suddenly awake -in my own bed at Petrograd, and find that the Revolution and its -attendant horrors were only a nightmare! But the sound of coughing in -the Empress’s bedroom told me that, alas! it was no dream.... She was -moving about, unable, like myself, to sleep. The light above the sacred -ikon made a luminous pathway between the bedroom and the boudoir, and -presently the Empress came back to me, carrying an eiderdown. “It’s -bitterly cold,” she said. “I want you to be comfortable, Lili, so I’ve -brought you another quilt.” She tucked the quilt well round my -shoulders, regardless of my protestations, and again bade me good night. - -The mauve boudoir was flooded with moonlight, which fell directly on the -portrait of the Empress’s mother, and on the picture of the -Annunciation. Both seemed alive.... The sad eyes of the dead woman -watched the gradually unfolding tragedy of her daughter’s life, whilst -the radiant Virgin, overcome with divine condescension, welcomed the -angel who hailed her as blessed among women. - -Masses of lilac were arranged in front of the tall windows. It was -customary for a fresh supply of lilac for the mauve boudoir to be sent -daily to Tsarkoe Selo from the south of France; but, owing to the -troublous times, no flowers had reached the Palace for a couple of days. -Just before dawn, the dying lilac seemed to expire in a last breath of -perfume ... the boudoir was suddenly redolent of the perfume of Spring -... tears filled my eyes. The poignant sweetness hurt me--winter was -around us, and within our hearts. Should we ever know the joys of blue -skies, and the glory of a world new-born? - -All was silent, save for the footsteps of the “Red” sentry as he passed -and repassed up and down the corridor. At first the Revolutionaries had -celebrated their sojourn in a Palace by singing seditious and obscene -songs, but little by little these had ceased ... the soldiers slept. My -mind reverted constantly to the sick girls and to their brother, who, -happily, unlike them, did not share their apprehensions. What a contrast -this night presented to the quiet, happy nights of long ago! I confess -it was difficult to see the hand of God in this--to me--unnecessary -suffering, and to accept all in the spirit of humility which the Empress -manifested. - -At seven o’clock the Empress told me I had better return to the red -drawing-room, so I gathered my bedclothes together and slipped -unperceived and unheard up the staircase.[6] - - - - -CHAPTER IV - - -On the morning of Thursday, March 9th, the Empress came into the Grand -Duchesses’ bedroom; she was agitated and anxious, as she had been -informed that the Emperor would arrive at the Palace between eleven and -twelve. I went with her to see the Tsarevitch, and we sat by his bed -talking to him. The little boy was very excited, and he kept on looking -at his watch, and counting the seconds which must pass before his -father’s arrival. - -Presently we heard the sound of an automobile, and Volkoff entered. The -faithful servant had refused to accept the fact of the Emperor’s -abdication, and, in a manner worthy of Imperial traditions, he -announced: - -“His Majesty The Emperor!” - -The Empress sprang from her chair, and ran out of the room. I, too, -rose. The meeting between the reunited family must not, surely, be -witnessed by any outsider! But the Tsarevitch seized my hand. “No, no, -Lili, you’re not to leave me,” he insisted, so I sat down by him for -five minutes, and eventually I managed to slip away and take refuge in -Anna’s room--where I remained until after lunch, when I was summoned to -the Imperial presence. - -Following my instructions, I went into the Grand Duchesses’ room; the -Empress was not there. Suddenly I heard the sound of footsteps. I knew -to whom they belonged--but they were no longer the footsteps of a -confident and happy man. They sounded as if the person who was advancing -was very, very tired. - -I trembled from head to foot--I dared not at first raise my eyes. When I -did so, I encountered the tragic, weary eyes of the Emperor. - -He advanced to where I was standing, and took my hands in his, saying, -very simply: - -“Thank you, Lili, for all you have done for us ... and I?... what have I -done for you? Absolutely nothing! Why, I have not even kept Dehn near -you.” - -“Your Majesty,” I answered, now unable to speak without crying ... “it -is for me to thank you for the privilege of being allowed to remain with -you.” - -As we went into the red salon, and the light fell on the Emperor’s face, -I started. In the darkened bedroom I could not see clearly, but I now -realised how greatly he had altered. The Emperor was deathly pale, his -face was covered with innumerable wrinkles, his hair was quite grey at -the temples, and blue shadows encircled his eyes. He looked like an old -man; the Emperor smiled sadly when he saw my horrified expression, and -he was about to speak, when the Empress joined us; he then tried to -appear the light-hearted husband and father of the happy years; he sat -with us and chatted on trivial matters, but I could see that he was -inwardly ill at ease, and at last the effort was too much for him. “I -think I’ll go for a walk--walking always does me good,” he said. - -We passed through the corridors to Anna’s apartments, where the Emperor -left us, and went downstairs. The Empress and I entered the bedroom, and -stood by one of the windows which looked out over the Park. Anna was -very excited; she kept talking and crying, but we had eyes only for the -Emperor, who by this time was outside the Palace. He walked briskly -towards the Grande Allée, but suddenly a sentinel appeared from nowhere, -so to speak, and intimated to the Emperor that he was not allowed to go -in that direction. The Emperor made a nervous movement with his hand, -but he obeyed, and retraced his steps; but the same thing -occurred--another sentinel barred his passage, and an officer told the -Emperor that, as he was now to all intents and purposes a prisoner, his -exercise must be of the prison-yard description!... We watched the -beloved figure turn the corner ... his steps flagged, his head was bent, -his whole aspect was significant of utter dejection; his spirit seemed -completely broken. I do not think that until this moment we had realised -the crushing grip of the Revolution, nor what it signified. But it was -brought home to us most forcibly when we saw the passage of the Lord of -All the Russias, the Emperor whose domains extended over millions of -miles, now restricted to a few yards in his own Park. - -The Empress said nothing, but I felt her hand grasp mine; it was, for -her, an agonizing experience. After an interval, she spoke.... “We’ll go -back to the children, Lili; at any rate we can be together there.” - -The Grand Duchesses were delighted to know that their father had -returned, and I think the knowledge of his safety acted on them like a -tonic. Poor Marie, who had so longed to be the first to welcome the -Emperor, was now delirious, with intervals of consciousness. When I -entered her room, she recognised me. “Well, Lili, where have you been?” -she exclaimed. “I’ve been waiting and waiting for you. Papa is really -_here_, isn’t he?” The next moment she was back in the fantastic and -terrible kingdom of fever. “Crowds of people ... dreadful people ... -they’re coming to kill Mamma!! Why are they doing these things?” Alas, -poor child, others have since asked the same question. - -That day the Emperor and the Empress dined and spent the evening -together. The Empress told me afterwards that the Emperor lost his -self-control when he was alone with her in the mauve boudoir; he wept -bitterly. It was excessively difficult for her to console him, and to -assure him that the husband and father was of more value in her eyes -than the Emperor whose throne she had shared. - - * * * * * - -I cannot say that the Revolutionaries treated us with excessive -discourtesy, but some of their methods were reprehensible. For instance, -when certain complications ensued with Marie, it became necessary to -have another medical opinion. This request was at first refused, but -afterwards the authorities agreed, on condition that an officer and two -soldiers were present at the medical examination! Colonel Kotzebue, the -first Revolutionary commandant, had formerly been an officer in the -Lancers, and, as he was a distant cousin of mine, I could hardly believe -my eyes when I saw him in this official capacity, and I asked him to -come and talk to me in Anna’s room, as I considered he owed our family -some explanation of his conduct. - -“I can’t imagine why I was nominated for the post,” said Kotzebue. “All -I can tell you, Lili, is that I was awakened in the middle of the night, -and told to report myself at Tsarkoe Selo. Will you assure Their -Majesties that there is nothing I will not try and do for them. This is -really the happiest moment of my life, since it enables me to be of -service to them.” - -When the Empress sent for me on the morning of March 10th, I found her -lying on the couch in her boudoir. The Emperor was with her; she -motioned me to come and sit beside her, and the Emperor talked to us.[7] -He first described an incident which had impressed him most strongly -that very morning. - -“When I got up,” he said, “I put on my dressing-gown and looked through -the window which gives on the courtyard.[8] I noticed that the sentinel -who was usually stationed there was now sitting on the steps--his rifle -had slipped out of his hand--he was dozing! I called my valet, and -showed him the unusual sight, and I couldn’t help laughing--it was -really absurd. At the sound of my laughter the soldier awoke, but he -did not attempt to move--he scowled at us, and we withdrew. But what a -conclusive proof of the general demoralisation! All must indeed be at an -end for Russia, as without law, obedience and respect no empire can -exist.” - -The Empress then questioned the Emperor about certain doings at G.H.Q. - -“Some occurrences were exceptionally painful,” replied the Emperor. “My -mother drove with me through the town, which was profusely decorated -with red flags and a profusion of bunting. My poor mother couldn’t bear -to look at the flags ... but the sight of them did not affect me; it -seemed such a stupid and useless display! The behaviour of the crowd was -in curious contrast to this exhibition of Revolutionary power, as they -all knelt, as of yore, when our automobile passed.” - -“I could not bear to say good-bye to Voeikoff, Niloff and Fredericks. -They didn’t want to leave me. I had to insist at last. The -Revolutionaries promised most faithfully not to harm them.”[9] - -“One thing especially touched me,” continued the Emperor. “When I got -into the train, I noticed five or six schoolgirls who were standing on -the platform trying to attract my attention. I went to the window, and, -when they saw me, they began to cry, and made signs for me to write -something for them. So I signed my name on a piece of paper, and sent it -to the children. But they still lingered on the platform, and, as it -was bitterly cold, I tried to make them understand that they had better -go home. However, when my train left, two hours later, they were still -there. They blessed me, poor children,” said the Emperor, greatly moved -by the recollection. “I hope their pure blessing will bring us -happiness.” - -The Emperor told us that he had received countless telegrams after the -news of his abdication was generally known. Many were abusive, but -others breathed the concentrated spirit of loyalty. Count Keller sent a -telegram informing the Emperor that he declined to recognise the -existence of the Revolution.[10] The Count afterwards refused to sign -the documents of allegiance, and he broke his sword and threw the pieces -down. - -“General Rousky was the first to broach the subject of my abdication,” -said the Emperor. “He boarded the train _en route_, and came into my -saloon unannounced. - -“‘Goutchkoff and Shoulgine are also coming to talk to you,’ he informed -me. These gentlemen made their appearance at the next station, and they -were excessively impertinent. Rousky told them that he had already -discussed matters with me. But I refused to be ignored. I struck the -table with my fist. ‘I’m going to speak, I _will_ speak,’ I cried. - -“‘You must abdicate in favour of the Tsarevitch, and the people will -nominate a Regent,’ said Goutchkoff and Shoulgine. - -“‘But,’ I replied, ‘are you sure--can you promise that my abdication -will benefit Russia?’ - -“‘Your Majesty, it is the only thing to save Russia at the present -crisis,’ they replied. - -“‘But I must think it over.... I’ll give you my answer in a couple of -hours.’” - -“The delegates consented. I knew,” continued the Emperor, looking with -affection at his wife, “that their first idea was to separate Alexis -from the Empress, so I spoke to Dr. Fedoroff, who was in the train, and -I asked him whether he considered it advisable to allow the Tsarevitch -to be taken from her. - -“‘It will shorten the Tsarevitch’s life,’ said Fedoroff bluntly. - -“When Goutchkoff and Shoulgine returned, I intimated plainly that I -would not part with my son. ‘I am ready to abdicate,’ I said, ‘but not -in favour of my son, only of my brother.’ - -“My decision appeared to trouble them: they asked me to think better of -it, but I was firm. Afterwards I signed the Act of Abdication. The train -was then sent back to G.H.Q.” - -Such is the bare narrative of the abdication, related as nearly as -possible in the Emperor’s own words. Baron Stackelberg, a cousin of my -husband’s, who was travelling with the Emperor, afterwards told me that -he and M. Voeikoff, the Commandant du Palais, met Rousky on the platform -of the station where he joined the train. The two gentlemen were about -to send some telegrams from the Emperor to Rodziansko, in which the -Emperor replied to the former’s request to give Russia a constitutional -government. In the opinion of the Emperor, the moment had not arrived. - -“Whose telegrams are these?” said Rousky. - -“His Majesty’s,” answered Baron Stackelberg coldly. - -Rousky snatched the telegrams from Baron Stackelberg, and put them in -his pocket, remarking as he did so, “Useless!” So Rodziansko never -received the Emperor’s telegrams, and Baron Stackelberg, who is now in -Finland, can confirm the truth of the story. M. Voeikoff and the Baron -looked at each other, neither spoke, but each read in the other’s eyes -the unspoken thought--to kill Rousky then and there, and so avenge the -insult to the Emperor. But Rousky had disappeared--the moment for -righteous murder had passed! - - * * * * * - -Life at first went on much as usual after the Emperor’s return: he -always insisted upon reading the daily papers, but the filth of the -gutter press sickened and pained him. One evening I happened to come -into the library where the Emperor was reading a newspaper: his -expression showed that something had seriously displeased him. “Just -look here, Lili,” he said, showing me the portraits of the new Cabinet. -“Look at these men.... Their faces are the real criminal type. And yet I -was asked to approve of this Cabinet, and to agree to the Constitution,” -he added with a touch of bitterness. - -My time was now fully occupied. The Grand Duchess Marie was seriously -ill, and I relieved the Empress in nursing her.... I had taken upon -myself the task, formerly performed by the Empress, of sponging poor -Marie’s body, and, when the child was conscious, she liked me to brush -and comb her lovely hair, which became sadly tangled as she tossed to -and fro in her delirium. Marie was the first unmarried Grand Duchess to -sleep on a “real” bed of her own, but, as she was so ill, we moved her -from the narrow camp-bed to a more comfortable resting-place. - -The Empress was a skilful nurse; she was especially expert in changing -sheets and night-clothes in a few minutes without disturbing the -patients. When I showed my surprise, she said quite simply: “I learnt to -do useful things in England.... I’ve never forgotten what I owe to my -English upbringing.” - -One day my cousin, Kotzebue, told me that an English gentleman, Mr. A. -Stopford,[11] a friend of the Grand Duchess Marie Paul, was desirous of -being of use to the Empress. He had, it appeared, a cult for the -Imperial Family, and, as he was about to return to England, he asked -Kotzebue whether the Empress would not like to send some letters by him -to her relations. I told the Empress at once. It seemed such a wonderful -chance.... Her first cousin, King George V, and his devoted consort, -would surely welcome news from the Imperial Family! - -The Empress was deeply touched by Mr. Stopford’s offer. “I’ll think -about it, Lili,” she said. But the next day she told me that she had -decided not to communicate with King George and the Queen. “I _can’t_ -write. What can I say? I’m too hurt and wounded by my country’s -behaviour.... But even with this I can’t speak against Russia.... -Besides, the Emperor is more worried than ever; he is so fearful that -his abdication, and the unrest, may spoil the Great Offensive.... No ... -we can’t communicate with our cousins.” - -Both the Emperor and the Empress constantly referred to England. The -first idea of the Duma had been to induce the Imperial Family to go to -England, but certain powers there were antagonistic to the proposition, -as it was considered likely to be unfavourably received by the Labour -Party. But those who were fearful of sheltering a defenceless family, -whose only crime consisted in being defenceless, need have had no -apprehensions. - -The Emperor and the Empress did not wish to leave Russia. “I’d rather go -to the uttermost ends of Siberia,” said the Emperor. Neither he nor the -Empress could face the prospect of wandering about the Continent, and -living at Swiss hotels as ex-Royalties, snapshotted and paragraphed by -representatives of the picture papers, and interviewed by amazing -American journalists. Their retiring spirits shrank from cheap -publicity; they considered that it was the duty of every Russian to -stand by Russia, and face the common danger together. - -Apart from their personal disinclination to go to England, the Soviets -were opposed to the suggestion, and it was stated that, if any train -left Tsarkoe with the Imperial fugitives, it would be stopped, and -everyone murdered, as the Emperor knew too much to be allowed to leave -Russia. - -The Emperor brought me the newspaper which contained this statement. He -was in a terrible rage.... He could scarcely contain himself, and he -almost threw the paper at me. - -“Read this, Lili,” he exclaimed, his face white with passion. -“_Beasts!_ How dare they say such things.... They judge others by -themselves.” - -“Oh, Your Majesty,” I answered, greatly troubled, “please don’t read -these horrible papers.” - -“I must, I must, Lili. I feel that I must know all,” said the Emperor. - -Occasionally he was in better spirits, and more like his old cheerful -self. The Emperor was generally able to see the humour of any situation, -and he would sometimes laugh at the idea of being, what he called, “an -Ex.” Everything was then “Ex.” “Don’t call me an Empress any more--I’m -only an Ex,” laughed the Empress; and one day, when some especially -unpalatable ham was served at lunch, the Emperor remarked, “Well, this -may have once been ham, but now it’s nothing but an ‘ex-ham.’” He was -always amused by the likeness between him and his cousin, King George. -One day he showed me a photograph of the latter, saying, “Have you seen -my last photograph, Lili? Doesn’t it flatter me?” - -He had a great admiration for his cousin, and the Empress often spoke of -Queen Alexandra, ... her beauty, her sympathetic nature, and her -boundless charity. “I would so much like to see my married sister in -England,” she invariably added, whenever she discussed her family. -“Darmstadt is only a little spot in the garden of my memories,” she -would say, “but my mother died there, so I can’t really be blamed for -liking Darmstadt.... Isn’t ‘Home sweet Home’ typically English? - -“None of my daughters shall marry German Princes,” she said on one -occasion. It was suggested that Anastasie’s future home might be in -England, and the Empress welcomed the idea.... An English marriage would -have been very near her heart. But “_l’homme propose, et Dieu dispose_.” -If Russia had not betrayed herself, or if she had remained as solidly -united as France, nothing would ever have been heard of the -pro-Germanism attributed to the Empress. She was essentially -English--English in her dress, her personal habits, her absolutely -Victorian outlook; some of her ideas respecting a _ménage_ were akin to -those of the _Hausfrau_, but even these were English, as domesticity has -always been a British attribute. - -The Empress showed no special marks of favour to Germans who had settled -in Russia. The reports of her having done so are untrue, or greatly -exaggerated. There is no doubt that German agents were very active in -Russia, and that the octopus of espionage put forth its tentacles in -every direction. But in justice to a much defamed woman, surely it is -unfair to credit her with being the instigator of this. Every European -country was riddled with Germans, England more so than any other, and, -although it was more intimately connected with Germany by marriage and -consanguinity, no stones were ever hurled at the various personages, -Royal and otherwise, who were really not as English as was the Empress. -I remember, in connection with her impartial outlook, that, in 1910, a -wealthy German named Faltsfein, was obsessed with the idea of becoming a -Russian nobleman. A friend of his, an officer named Masloff, asked the -Empress to make it possible for Herr Faltsfein to change his skin, but -she was very disgusted, and told Masloff that nothing would induce her -to put such a proposal before the Emperor! - -One awful day a lorry full of soldiers, in charge of an excessively -ill-favoured officer, arrived at the Palace. Kotzebue interviewed him. - -“I’ve come to fetch the Emperor,” said the officer, with an unprintable -oath. “He’s going to be imprisoned in ‘Peter and Paul.’” - -“You cannot remove the Emperor,” answered Kotzebue. “I am commandant -here. I refuse to give up the Emperor at your orders.” - -“Ah ... ah ... I knew it,” shouted the officer. “The Emperor has -fled!... we were told so in Petrograd. Let’s search the Palace.” - -Kotzebue almost came to blows with the man. “I tell you the Emperor is -_here_ ... I’ll prove it.” He then sent for Count Benckendorff and told -him to ask the Emperor to pass through the corridor whilst the soldiers -were looking. In a few moments the Emperor came slowly down the corridor -... the officer rushed threateningly towards him, but Kotzebue -restrained him, saying, “Well, you----, now you’ve seen the Emperor. Go -back to the Soviet, tell them he’s still here, and don’t come again on a -fool’s errand.” - -The Emperor now walked in the Park every day, and each time he returned -greatly depressed at some fresh mark of disrespect. “But,” he said, -“it’s very foolish to think that this behaviour can affect my soul--how -petty of them to seek to humiliate me by calling me ‘Colonel’ ... after -all, it’s a very worthy appellation.” - -The Empress was a tragic figure, and, in her invariable Red Cross -uniform, she symbolised Pity, in a world which knew not the meaning of -the word. Every hour that I knew her, I loved her more. - -One day, Kotzebue told me that Titi was ill; in fact, _very_ ill, but I -did not like to agitate the Empress until Kotzebue came to ask her to -permit me to go with him and telephone from the basement of the Palace. -She was greatly distressed to hear that her godson was ill, and equally -concerned at not having been told before. “My poor girl, what you must -have suffered!” she said. - -Kotzebue and I descended into the basement: two soldiers guarded the -telephone, and I was informed that I could only be allowed five minutes’ -conversation. - -“How is the child?” was my first question. - -“Very ill, Madame,” answered my maid. - -“Please, please bring him to the ‘phone.’” I waited impatiently, and -then a little feeble voice whispered: “_Maman ... c’est vraiment toi! -quand viendras-tu?_” - -At that moment a soldier interposed. - -“Your five minutes is up!” - -I returned to the Empress, almost heart-broken, but I endeavoured to -appear cheerful. The interminable day wore away, evening fell, and I -assisted at what had now become a sort of nightly routine. Every evening -the Emperor wheeled the Empress in her invalid-chair across the Palace -in order to visit the suite. It was a melancholy pilgrimage. She first -stopped to talk with the Benckendorffs, and afterwards passed from group -to group of her faithful adherents, taking Anna’s room on the way -back--Anna, so to speak, representing the last word in dejection, as she -was ever full of terrors and presentiments. - -That night I was glad to seek refuge in the red drawing-room and find -myself alone, and able to indulge in what is described as “a good cry.” -As I left the mauve boudoir, the Emperor and the Empress kissed me, and -made the Sign of the Cross. I felt instinctively that they loved me, and -were sorry for me. - -A bright fire was burning in the red drawing-room, but I did not -undress--I sat in front of the fire thinking of Titi. Yet even the -knowledge that my son was seriously ill did not suffice to make me feel -that my place was not here. I knew in my soul that the Empress came -first, and would always be first where my duty was in question. I was -well aware that I might never see my husband or my child again ... but I -knew that I should follow the Imperial Family wherever Destiny might -beckon me. I confess I had my moments of weakness, when I longed for the -security of home, and the peaceful existence which had hitherto been -mine. To-night I felt more than usually despondent. The fire burnt low, -and I sought to read the future in the red embers, just as I had done at -Revovka in the long ago. Suddenly I heard the door of the salon open -very softly, and a line of light pierced the darkness ... someone was -coming in! - -I turned quickly to face the person who dared intrude upon the privacy -of the apartments occupied by the Imperial Family.... Was it some fresh -assumption of power on the part of the Revolutionaries? - -But my visitor was no emissary of the Revolution--the slender figure -standing in the doorway was that of the Empress. She looked more than -usually fragile ... she breathed with difficulty, her face was pale with -fatigue, and, when I remembered the arduous ascent of the stairs, I was -terrified lest a heart attack would ensue. - -“Madame, Madame,” I cried, “is anything amiss? Are you in danger?” - -“Hush, Lili,” said the Empress. “The Emperor and I are quite safe. But I -couldn’t rest without coming to see you. I know all about Titi, I quite -realise what you feel.” She took me in her arms just as a tender mother -might have done, and she soothed me and caressed me. “My poor, dear -child,” she said. “Only God can help you. Trust in Him, as I do, Lili.” - -We mingled our tears, and she stayed with me for some considerable time. -It was a strange scene, but I wish that those who revile the memory of -the Empress could have seen her then, and experienced the pity, love and -understanding which were so essentially her prerogatives. She -strengthened and consoled me as no other could have done, and her last -words of comfort before she left me were: “Perhaps they’ll let us bring -Titi from Petrograd to the Red Cross Hospital opposite the Palace, then -you could always see him through one of the windows.” - - - - -CHAPTER V - - -The Tsarevitch was now almost well, and running about the Palace much as -usual. I do not think he noticed many changes, the Revolution conveyed -nothing to him except when he missed certain of his soldiers and his -friends. He was still a happy, light-hearted child. - -The Imperial Family had no presentiment of disaster for themselves, but -they suffered untold agonies of mind over the fate of Russia. “Can you -imagine what it means to the Emperor to know that he is cut off from -active life?” said the Empress. - -Soon after the episode of telephoning from the basement, Kotzebue went -to Petrograd. I was anxious for his return, as he had promised to go and -see Titi, and bring me the latest news from home. Days passed ... I -became apprehensive, and made enquiries, only to be told that we should -not see him again at Tsarkoe! I saw in this an omen of coming trouble, -so I went at once to the Emperor and acquainted him with what I had -heard. The Emperor and the Empress were watching some of the -ladies-in-waiting who were walking in the Park, followed by sentinels; -the Empress noticed my agitation. - -“Why, Lili, whatever is the matter?” she enquired. - -“Madame ... I hear that Kotzebue is to be replaced.” - -The Emperor looked at me. Then, shrugging his shoulders, he remarked: -“Well--it can’t be helped” and straightway changed the conversation ... -possibly to calm our fears, or more probably to show how unaffected he -was by the mandates of the Revolutionaries. - -The long, monotonous days passed--we endured them alternately with the -calmness of despair and with gratitude for their dullness. Once we -witnessed a sight of horror. Hearing a sound of military music, and the -tramp, tramp of many people, we went to the windows, and saw a funeral -procession wending its way across the snow-covered Park. But this was no -ordinary funeral; the dead were some of the soldiers who had been killed -at Tsarkoe Selo on the first day of the Revolution. It was a red -burial--the coffins were covered in scarlet, the mourners were dressed -in scarlet, and scarlet flags waved everywhere. Seen in the distance the -procession looked like a river of blood flowing slowly through the Park. -Everything was red and white, and the superstitious might have inferred -from this a presage of the innocent blood so soon to be outpoured ... -since the snow was not whiter than the souls of the young and beautiful -who are now safe in the keeping of a God of Justice, who most surely -will repay! - -None of us could forget the impression produced by this funeral; blood -seemed everywhere, and terror lurked in the shadows. The soldiers were -buried in the Park, within sight of the Palace--another refinement of -torture for those whose imaginations were already overexcited. Our -nerves were frayed, although I do not think that we were guilty of -giving way to our emotions. But it was difficult to maintain our -composure when insolent officers treated us in a shameful manner, or a -soldier called the Empress by some filthy epithet. One soldier, however, -was a Bayard. He possessed an English name, and his father taught in a -school at Riga. This man was really extraordinary. He was not only -polite, but he invariably tried to show us that he did not share the -Revolutionary outlook. The two regiments which were at the Palace -distinguished themselves by a series of petty thefts; not even the -spoons were safe. I suppose they would have described these articles as -“Souvenir spoons”! - - * * * * * - -We were no longer to complain of monotony. Even then, events unknown to -us were moving quickly, and in my case definitely. - -The Grand Duchess Marie was still very ill, and Anna, who knew this, -decided to go and see her. The Empress was against the idea; Anna was -ill, she said, and it was better for her health and her safety to keep -as quiet as possible, and not to draw any undue attention to her -presence in the Palace. So strongly did the Empress disapprove, that she -was taken in her wheeled chair to see Anna, but she returned more -nervous and apprehensive than before. - -I spent the morning with the Empress, and I lunched with Anna, in the -apparently forlorn hope of dissuading her from attempting to see Marie. -After luncheon we discussed the burning question of Kotzebue’s -disappearance. Suddenly we were startled by hearing a noise in the -corridor.... Anna instantly rang the bell. A servant answered it. - -“Who is outside?” demanded Anna. - -“I don’t know,” replied the man, who was evidently much disturbed; “the -soldiers are here.” At this moment a _skorohod_[12] entered, and handed -me a tiny folded note. I opened it.... Written in pencil, in the -Empress’s handwriting, were these ominous words: - -“_Kerensky passe par toutes nos chambres, pas avoir peur--Dieu est là. -Vous embrasse toutes les deux._”[13] - -[Illustration] - -Heavy footsteps sounded in the corridor. I had barely time to slip the -precious note inside my bodice when the door was flung open, and a man, -followed by two others, came in. I stood up at once and looked at our -visitor--it was Kerensky himself! - -[Illustration: THE EMPRESS AT TOBOLSK] - -[Illustration: THE EMPRESS WITH GRAND DUCHESS TATIANA - -[During the Captivity at Tsarskoe Selo]] - -[Illustration: THE GRAND DUCHESSES (left) MARIE: ANASTASIE (right)] - -I saw a slight man with a pale face, thin lips, shifty eyes, seen under -lowered lids, and a nondescript nose. Kerensky gave one the impression -of being _mal soigné_.... He was not tall, but slight in figure, and his -head drooped in a curious manner: he wore the blue jacket of an ordinary -workman. - -Kerensky slowly considered us. - -“Are you Madame Anna Virouboff?” he said, addressing Anna. - -“Yes,” replied Anna, faintly. - -“Well, put on your clothes immediately and be ready to follow me.” - -Anna made no answer. - -“Why the devil are you in bed?” he demanded, staring at Anna’s invalid -_déshabillée_. - -“Because I’m ill,” whimpered Anna, looking more childish than ever. - -“Well” ... said Kerensky, turning to an officer, “perhaps we had better -not move her. I’ll have a chat with the doctors. In the meantime, -isolate Madame Virouboff. Place sentinels before the door--she’s to hold -no communication with anyone. Nobody is to come into this bedroom or to -leave it until I give the order.” - -He went out of the room, followed by the officers. Anna and I looked at -each other, speechless with dismay. My first collected thought was for -the Empress. I would not be separated from her. - -“I _must_ try and see Their Majesties,” I said wildly. - -“Yes, Lili, do. For God’s sake see them,” sobbed Anna. - -I opened the bedroom door very softly: the sentinels had not yet -arrived. I caught a glimpse of Kerensky entering the room occupied by -the doctors; then, impelled by some desperate courage, I ran down the -corridors, and arrived breathless in the Grand Duchesses’ apartments. I -found the Empress with Olga. I told her, in a few words, what had -happened. Then distant footsteps warned us of Kerensky’s approach. - -“Run ... Lili--hide in Marie’s room--it’s dark _there_,” whispered the -Empress. - -I had barely time to crouch down behind a screen in Marie’s room when -Kerensky came in. He took no notice of the sick girl, but went in search -of the Empress, who, with the Emperor, had now gone into the schoolroom. -From where I was hiding I could hear Kerensky shouting. In a few moments -the Empress entered; she was trembling visibly.... The Grand Duchesses -Olga and Tatiana (now convalescent) rushed forward. - -“Mamma, Mamma, what is the matter?” - -“Kerensky has insisted upon my leaving him alone with the Emperor,” -answered the Empress.... “They’ll most probably arrest me.” - -The two girls clung to their mother, and slowly made their way back to -Marie. I had now emerged from behind the screen, and I went into the -schoolroom, where I determined to remain until I saw the Emperor. - -After what seemed a very long time the Emperor came out--alone. - -“Your Majesty,” I cried, “tell me, I implore you, if there is anything -dreadful in store for Her Majesty?” - -The Emperor was painfully nervous. “No, no, Lili, and if Kerensky had -uttered one word against Her Majesty, you would have heard me strike the -table--thus--” and he struck the writing-table with his fist. “But I -hear they’ve arrested Anna. Poor unfortunate woman, what will become of -_her_?” - -At the sound of her husband’s voice the Empress came out of Marie’s -bedroom. The Emperor told her that Kerensky had arrested Anna because he -suspected that she was implicated in political plots. “If it’s true, -it’s an awful thing,” said Kerensky; “but I suppose everything will now -be disclosed.” - -Their Majesties then related the particulars of their interview with -Kerensky. - -“His first words,” said the Empress, “were, ‘I am Kerensky. You probably -know my name.’ - -“We made no answer. - -“‘But you must have heard of me?’ he persisted. - -“Still no reply. - -“‘Well,’ said Kerensky, ‘I’m sure I don’t know why we are standing. -Let’s sit down--it’s far more comfortable!’ - -“He seated himself,” continued the Empress. “The Emperor and I slowly -followed his example, and, finding that I still declined to speak, -Kerensky insisted upon being left alone with the Emperor.” - -Shortly afterwards, to our great relief, we were informed that Kerensky -had left the Palace and gone to the Town Hall. The new commandant, -Colonel Korovichenko, was then presented to the Empress, who begged him -to allow her to say good-bye to Anna. Korovichenko consented, and the -Empress went, unaccompanied, to Anna’s room. She sat very silent when -she returned: she felt the parting keenly, as both the friends knew -that, in all probability, it might be for ever! - -The Emperor, the Grand Duchesses and myself now took up our position in -“Orchie’s room,”[14] from which the windows commanded a view of the -entrance to Anna’s apartments. I was sitting by the Empress near the -window.... All at once she took my hand, and said in a voice choked with -emotion: - -“At least, God will allow you to remain, and....” - -Her sentence remained unfinished.... At this moment someone knocked at -the door; it was Count Benckendorff, who had hurried along to tell the -Empress that he still hoped better things for Anna. - -This was only a temporary respite. A little later we heard the sound of -an automobile in the courtyard. I looked down, and saw two automobiles -drawn up in front of the Imperial entrance to the Palace. Another knock! -This time it was a servant who announced: - -“The new Commandant wishes to speak to Madame Dehn.” - -I went out; Korovitchenko, a fair-haired, common-looking man with a hard -mouth, was standing at the end of the corridor. - -“Madame Dehn?” he enquired brusquely. - -“Yes ... I am Madame Dehn.” - -“Well ... get ready. Take as little as possible with you; you are going -with Kerensky to Petrograd.” - -I nearly fainted, but I managed to run back to “Orchie’s room.” In a few -hurried words I acquainted the Empress with Korovitchenko’s orders.... I -could not look at any of them. I tried to be calm, but at the sound of -Tatiana’s uncontrollable sobbing I broke down and wept in the arms of -the Empress. - -“_Eh bien_ ...” she said, releasing me gently from her embrace, “_il n’y -rien à faire_.” - -“Is Madame Dehn ready?” shouted someone outside. - -The Empress called Zanoty (one of her dressers) and told her to put some -things together in a suit-case. She did not speak to me--or I to -her--our hearts were too full. It was like some terrible nightmare. At -length I managed to go into Anastasie’s room.... She was in bed. I -kissed her many times, and told her that I would never forsake them. -Poor Marie lay asleep in her darkened room.... I kissed her flushed -cheek, blessed her, and went out quietly. There was no time to say -good-bye to the Tsarevitch. - - * * * * * - -Zanoty had packed my suit-case, and the Empress now sent her to fetch a -sacred medal, which she hung round my neck, blessing me as she did so. -At the last moment Tatiana ran out of the room, and returned with a -little leather case containing portraits of the Emperor and the Empress, -which had stood on her especial table ever since she was a tiny child. -“Lili ...” she cried, “if Kerensky _is_ going to take you away from us, -you shall at least have Papa and Mamma to console you.” - -Another imperative summons told us that the moment of parting was at -hand. I put on my hat, and we left “Orchie’s room”; the Emperor and the -Empress walked on either side of me, and the Grand Duchesses Olga and -Tatiana followed us. I had never imagined in the “happy” days that it -would ever be my lot to traverse this corridor with a breaking heart, or -under such conditions. For ten years I had received nothing but -affection from the Imperial Family--I had watched the children grow up, -I had been their playmate and their friend--now I had to leave them in -hostile and menacing surroundings. - -Russia had already deprived them of their Imperial state, their -possessions and their liberty: surely she might not have deprived them -of their friends! - -We walked slowly towards the head of the great staircase ... the moment -for saying farewell had arrived ... I tried to be brave ... the silence -was unbroken save by Tatiana’s stifled sobbing. Olga and the Empress -were quite calm, but Tatiana, who has been described by most -contemporary historians as proud and reserved, made no secret of her -grief. - -Two soldiers were waiting on the staircase ... the little group of the -Imperial Family stopped, and surrounded me ... then all pretence of -self-control vanished. We clung together, but our unavailing tears made -no impression on hearts harder than the marble staircase on which we -stood. - -“Come ... Madame ...” said one of the soldiers, seizing me by the arm. - -I turned to the Empress. With a tremendous effort of will, she forced -herself to smile reassuringly; then, in a voice whose every accent -bespoke intense love and deep religious conviction, she said: “Lili, by -suffering we are purified for Heaven. This good-bye matters little--we -shall meet in another world.” - -The soldiers hurried me down the staircase, but I stopped half-way, and -looked back. The Imperial Family was still where I had left them; with a -rough gesture, my guards motioned me to descend. I could see my beloved -Empress no longer. - -I walked to the door of the second entrance where some officers and -soldiers stood, laughing and talking. Two automobiles were waiting -outside. It was bitterly cold, and a bleak wind howled round the Palace, -and drove the snow in stinging dust against my face as I sat in the open -automobile waiting for Anna. At last she appeared; she looked ghastly, -and her eyes were swollen with crying. Two officers sat facing us, and a -third took his place beside the chauffeur. In this manner we saw the -last of Tsarkoe Selo ... but I had left my heart behind. - -We proceeded rapidly towards the private station, where the automobile -stopped. I walked quickly inside. I held myself erect ... I would _not_ -let our enemies think that I knew the meaning of the word FEAR. As I -passed, some of the soldiers sneered ... “See how haughty she is,” they -remarked; but I took no notice. - -The Imperial train was waiting, and the thought flashed across my mind -that the Revolutionaries were surely most inconsistent people, since -Kerensky & Co. did not scruple to avail themselves of the luxuries -appertaining to Imperial state. Anna and I made our way to the -drawing-room compartment, where we seated ourselves--I say “ourselves,” -but, in reality, Anna was lying half fainting on a chair. I could just -see the Palace through the window of the saloon, and I looked at nothing -else until the train moved out of the station, and, even then, my -straining eyes sought the familiar building which held so much that was -dear to me. - -Suddenly I became aware that someone was shouting, and thumping on the -floor with a stick. I withdrew from the window to see what was the -matter, and I encountered the angry gaze of Kerensky. - -“Look here ... you’d better listen when I’m talking to you,” he raged. - -I simply looked at him. Nobody had ever addressed me in such a manner! I -am a tall woman; perhaps my height (I towered above him) and my unspoken -contempt made him think better of continuing in this strain. - -“I merely wanted to tell you that I am taking you to the prison of the -Palais de Justice,” said Kerensky. “From there you will be transferred -(with deep meaning) _somewhere else_, and _that_ will be the actual -place of your imprisonment.” - -I still looked through him, and he beat a retreat into his own -compartment. Ten minutes later we were at Petrograd! - -The A.D.C.’s made Anna go first; I followed and as we walked down the -train we passed through the saloon where Kerensky and another man were -stretched out comfortably in the Emperor’s easy chairs! When Kerensky -saw me he sat up, and looked me up and down with a kind of half-fierce -curiosity. I returned his appraising glance with one of disdain ... the -next moment Anna and I were told to get into a closed carriage (another -relic of Imperialism), and we drove away in the company of the -A.D.C.’s--mere boys--who were evidently keenly interested in us both. - -I was horrified at the change which the Revolution had wrought in -Petrograd. Its quiet, well-bred look had completely disappeared, it wore -the aspect of a person just recovering from a drunken bout. Red flags -were everywhere, and crowds of unrestful people were waiting in long -queues outside the bakers’ shops. This sight roused Anna from her -lethargy of grief, and, childish as ever, she remarked, quite happily, -“Well, Lili, it’s no better _after_ the Revolution than it was before.” -I silenced her further criticisms with a glance at the A.D.C.’s, and I -felt quite relieved when our carriage sank first in one, and then in -another of the dirty heaps of snow which cumbered the streets, and which -had not been removed by the road sweepers. No policemen were visible; -law and order had ceased to exist, but groups of odd-looking people hung -about at the corners of the streets. These loungers were unmistakably -Jews.... The Ghetto-like appearance of Petrograd was amply accounted -for. - -The carriage stopped outside the Palais de Justice, and we were -conducted down seemingly endless corridors to a room on the fourth -floor. This room was empty, save for two easy chairs, a small chair and -a table on which stood a carafe of cold water. The aides-de-camp told us -to ask the sentinels for anything we wanted, and they were about to -leave us alone when I said to one of them: “Will you try and let my -servants know that I’m here?” - -“Impossible,” he answered, “but in your next prison you’ll be allowed to -see your friends once a week.” The young men then went away, and Anna at -once began to cry. I tried to console her, but I was completely worn -out--my powers of endurance had snapped, since there was no one to be -brave for! - -The room was bitterly cold, and we huddled together, wondering what next -would happen. Suddenly shots rang out in the corridor ... were they -harbingers of death? The firing was followed by coarse laughter, and a -soldier ran into our room. “Ah ... ha!... ha!!...” he mocked, “were you -afraid ... did you think you were going to be killed?”[15] - -As I sat in the cheerless room, thinking over many things, I suddenly -remembered that Anna had a great predilection for carrying letters and -photographs about with her--my heart sank--supposing that she had done -so now? - -“Anna,” I said, trying to speak lightly, “what papers have you brought -away with you?” - -“Oh, lots, Lili,” answered Anna. “I’ve some letters of the Empress, some -letters from Gregory, and two photographs of him.” - -I suppose my expression must have betrayed me. Anna began to whimper.... -“Oh, Lili, why do you look so grave? Surely they won’t treat us badly? -What _shall_ we do?” - -“You must give me every paper in your possession.” - -She demurred. “But _why_, Lili?” - -“Because it’s dangerous to retain anything connected either with Her -Majesty or with Rasputin. The worst construction is likely to be placed -on the most innocent expressions ... you cannot surely wish to injure -the Empress!” - -Anna instantly handed over the letters, but the difficulty arose as to -how best to destroy them. To burn them was impossible, as we had no -stove; I therefore decided to tear the letters up in minute pieces, and -throw them down the lavatory which we were permitted to use. In this -way, I destroyed what might have been considered “compromising” -documents! - -After what seemed an interminable time, steps sounded in the corridor, -the door was flung open, and Kerensky entered. He deliberately turned -his back on Anna, but he surveyed me with the same appraising yet -hostile scrutiny. We looked at each other without speaking.... At last, -he shrugged his shoulders, and remarked to an officer: - -“This place is damnably cold. Have the stove seen to immediately.” - -He left us without another word, and we heard him speaking at some -length outside. The sentinels were then changed, and the soldier who was -on duty in our room began to talk to me. - -“Well, Mademoiselle,” he said, “it’s ten thousand pities to see you -here ... you _do_ look sad. Whatever have you done?” - -“Nothing.” - -“It’s horrible ... they’ve no right to arrest young ladies like you.” - -“Perhaps the new regulations are responsible for our arrest.” - -“The new regulations!” The man laughed loudly. “That’s a good idea ... I -don’t think they’ll bring much luck. How can we get on without an -Emperor? Don’t imagine that _we_ wanted this. Do you think we joined -willingly? Why, they had to use force to get us ... we were unarmed, it -was no good attempting to resist them.” - -This kindly soul came from South Russia, and, when I told him who I was -and where my estates were situated, he was ready to do anything for me. - -“I’m on duty again to-morrow,” he said, “so try and write a letter, and -I’ll see that it’s delivered.” - -Night fell, and we were faint with hunger and fatigue. A little soup was -brought us, but we could not swallow it. Every few minutes the door -opened, and soldiers came in and made fun of us. - -“We’ve two pretty girls now to look at,” they mocked, but their laughter -was better than their coarse jokes ... some of these made me grow -scarlet with, shame, and I trembled lest their coarseness might become -something unspeakable. We wanted to wash ... but washing was -impossible--we had neither jug nor basin--the only water available was -that in the carafe. I opened my suit-case, and as Zanoty had put some -cotton-wool and lint with my things I quickly made a pad of some of the -wool, and, pouring a little water into the glass, I damped the pad and -mopped my face, drying it afterwards with some more cotton wool. At 1 -a.m. we were surprised to see the two A.D.C.’s come in with some -soldiers. One of the A.D.C.’s addressed Anna. - -“Madame ... we have orders to remove you.” - -Anna caught hold of my hand. “Oh, Lili, Lili,” she moaned, “don’t let -them take me away. Can’t you come with me?... I daren’t go to another -prison without you.” - -“Cannot you let me accompany Madame Virouboff?” I said. - -“The order is for _Madame Virouboff_,” replied the A.D.C., and at this -moment an officer entered. - -“What’s all the fuss about?” he demanded. The A.D.C. explained. “What -... is Madame Virouboff really here?” cried the officer. “Well, I’ve -always wanted to have a look at her ... which one is it?” The A.D.C. -indicated Anna, who was gazing from one to the other with frightened -eyes. - -“Get up,” ordered the officer. - -Anna meekly obeyed; as she did so, her crutch was visible. - -“But ... what’s wrong?” asked the officer, now evidently greatly -astonished. - -“I’m a cripple,” faltered Anna. - -“Good God,” exclaimed the officer. He was silent, but he examined Anna -much in the same way that a naturalist surveys a prehistoric beast. He -could not reconcile the Anna of reality with the Anna of fiction. In -common with many people, not only in Russia, but all the world over, he -had imagined a totally different Anna Virouboff. Perhaps he had -visualised her as an adventuress of melodrama, a passionate -_intrigante_, a subtle schemer, the masterful confidante of a weak -Empress! - -What did he actually see? - -Rasputin’s reputed _sorcière-en-chef_ stood before him, a little -trembling creature, with the prettiness and the plaintive voice of a -child. The officer could not believe his eyes. - -“Do you mean to tell me that you are a cripple?” he stammered. - -“I’ve always used a crutch since my railway accident,” she said, -helplessly, “I couldn’t avoid being in an accident, could I?” - -“Extraordinary, extraordinary,” muttered the officer--he was still -looking at her--“now, come along.” But Anna threw herself on my neck, -and refused to leave me. Her sobs were heart-breaking. To do them -justice, the soldiers handled this butterfly broken on the wheel very -gently. A group of journalists, male and female, all equally unkempt, -were busy taking notes, and they glanced half-scornfully and -half-pityingly at the shrinking figure of Anna Virouboff as she -disappeared in the darkness. - - - - -CHAPTER VI - - -The long days passed in their monotonous progress. I no longer seemed to -belong to the outside world. I heard nothing, nobody came near me--I was -as one dead. But, if my days were monotonous, my nights were full of -horror. When darkness fell, and the authorities relaxed their incessant -watchfulness, the soldiers became brutish ... when I say that I dared -not fall asleep, some idea may be gathered of my dread! I had never met -the eyes of lust until now ... but it was impossible not to understand -the glances of many of the soldiers. And I was not under any false -illusions about the morality of freedom, it might surely be called the -Freedom of Immorality! I thought of my husband far away in England, of -my child lying ill within a short distance of my prison, and of that -dear family for whose sakes I would gladly suffer untold misery. Memory -opened her book, and I saw within its pages people and scenes which -stirred many bitter-sweet recollections in my heart. Once again I walked -under the linden trees at Revovka, and listened to the nightingales. I -saw the forgotten grave with the wild rose weeping her petal-tears over -_la morte amoureuse_; once again I stood in the Winter Garden waiting to -see the Empress, sometimes I played with Titi and the Grand Duchesses -and heard the Empress’s kind voice. The pale face and hypnotic eyes of -Rasputin recalled my pilgrimage.... The church towers and houses of -Tobolsk rose against the evening sky, the dark and sinister river flowed -past me.... - -Memory turned back more pages of her wonderful book, and I saw the -Tsarkoe Selo of yesterday, the sick children, their fragile mother, and -the Emperor, to whom Destiny had proved so cruel. - -I endeavoured to preserve a calm mental outlook, it was useless.... I -wondered whether escape might be possible, but my room was situated on -the fourth floor, I dared not risk the descent from the window. One idea -obsessed me. I _must_ see Kerensky, and this idea grew more intense when -I heard that I was shortly to be removed to another prison. “They are -making enquiries about you,” said the A.D.C. - -“Well, I want you to do something, and inform the Minister Kerensky that -I would like to see him.” - -The A.D.C. was evidently startled by my request. - -“Hm ... I’ll do my best, but--” his gesture was significant of the -hopelessness of such a request. - -Upon his return, the A.D.C. said tersely: - -“I’ve seen about your affair, but Kerensky sleeps; he has just dined.” - -“Will you ask him to see me when he awakes?” - -“Yes....” Again the significant gesture. - -I waited impatiently. I felt that this interview with Kerensky would -prove the critical point in my present desperate situation. I paced up -and down the room, and my nervous agitation aroused the pity of one of -the soldiers, who remarked kindly: - -“Poor young lady! You _do_ seem worried!” - -Three hours passed.... They seemed like centuries, and then the A.D.C. -entered. - -“The Minister will receive you,” he said. - -I hastily arranged my sadly crumpled Red Cross uniform, and two soldiers -with fixed bayonets stationed themselves on either side of me. The -A.D.C. led the way down endless stairs and lengthy corridors. At last we -halted before a half-open door, and, as I stood there, I smelt the -delicate fragrance of roses. Surely no roses grew in this terrible -prison soil? But the perfume was unmistakable, and I was not left long -to wonder from whence it proceeded. - -I was ushered into a large, well-furnished reception room, formerly -occupied by some Minister under the Empire, and on a table stood an -enormous basket of blood-red roses. On another table was a basket of -scarlet carnations, the warm air was heavy with the mingled odours of -roses and clove pinks. So the Ministers of the Revolution were able to -indulge their taste for roses in March, whilst the Sons of Freedom -clamoured in the snow for bread! - -The door at the extreme end of the room was ajar; presently it opened, -and Kerensky came in. He glanced at me, walked to the writing-table, -where he seated himself, and indicated a place for me. - -KERENSKY: “Well, what do you want. You asked to see me?” - -MYSELF: “I want to ask you why I am under arrest. I have never meddled -in politics, they are the last things that interest me. I can’t regard -myself as a political prisoner.” - -KERENSKY (taking a roll of paper off the desk, and perusing it): -“Listen.... Firstly, you are accused of staying voluntarily with Their -Majesties when you had no official position at Court. Can you deny -this?” - -MYSELF: “Certainly not, I have no wish to do so. I stayed with Their -Majesties, as I could not possibly desert them at such a moment. I love -the Imperial Family as individuals. Surely this cannot constitute a -crime in your eyes.” - -KERENSKY: “Well ... let it pass.... What is this close friendship -between you and the Empress?” - -MYSELF: “I am honoured with the friendship of the Empress. She knows my -husband, she has been so good to us that we cannot be devoted enough to -her.” - -KERENSKY (impatiently): “Enough of the Empress. What do you want?” - -MYSELF: “What I ask is _not_ freedom, but imprisonment in my own house. -My child is ill. I want to be with him.” - -KERENSKY (laughing satirically): “You didn’t consider your child when -you left him alone in Petrograd in order to remain with your beloved -Empress.” - -MYSELF (angrily): “I know best _why_ I left him. You call yourself a -patriot ... I suppose you put the love of your country before family -ties? I love the Imperial Family, they come before my family ties. -You’ve taken me away from _them_--I haven’t gone willingly. Why deprive -me of my child?” - -KERENSKY (with sinister emphasis): “Listen, Madame Dehn, _you know too -much_. You have been constantly with the Empress since the beginning of -the Revolution. You can, if you choose, throw quite another light on -certain happenings which we have represented in a different aspect. -You’re DANGEROUS.” - -A long silence. - -KERENSKY: “Can you explain why all orders from the Empress passed -through you? You had no official position ... it’s a most suspicious -occurrence.” - -MYSELF: “We were practically isolated in the private apartments through -fear of contagion. Besides, what orders could the Empress give without -their being known to _you_?” - -KERENSKY: “The servants are witnesses that all orders came through you. -Enquiries will reveal the truth ... if you are honest ... well and good. -If not ... that’s another matter.” - -I looked at him. Kerensky seemed absolutely implacable, but I decided to -make one last appeal. He apparently loved flowers; this proved that, as -his senses could be appealed to, why not his heart? - -“If _you_ had a child of your own, you’d understand my feelings,” I -said. - -Kerensky surveyed me with that now familiar appraising scrutiny. “I -don’t think much of you as a mother,” he replied, smiling coldly, -“but--how old is your child?” - -“He is seven.” - -“Well, Madame, it so happens that I _have_ a child, and he, too, is -seven. I can decide nothing, but I am now going to a Council at which -Prince Lvoff will be present. _He_ must decide.” - -I looked him straight in the eyes. This time he met my gaze fully and -squarely. - -“I’m perfectly certain that you can do anything you like, without -consulting anyone,” I said. This tribute to his vanity appealed at once -to Kerensky. With most men vanity is the most powerful factor. Wound a -man’s vanity and he will never forgive you; pander to it, and he is your -friend for life. Kerensky was no exception: I had discovered the heel of -this Russian Achilles. - -“You are quite right. Of course I can do what I like. Go back to your -room--I’ll send you my answer later in the evening.” He pressed an -electric bell on his table. The A.D.C. entered. - -“Has Madame Dehn a bed in her room?” asked Kerensky. “If not, see that -one is placed there.” - -“Oh, I don’t want a bed,” I interrupted. “Please let me go to my child.” - -“I’ve already told you,” said Kerensky, “that I’ll let you know later. -But ... if I allow you to go home, you must give me your written promise -not to act in any way against us.” - -The A.D.C. made a sign to the soldiers, Kerensky took no further notice -of me, and I was hurried out of the warm flower-scented apartment into -the icy corridor. - -Black despair overcame me when I regained my room. Kerensky had been -non-committal; but I had hopes that my allusion to him as omnipotent -might have some favourable effect; so I sat in the corner nearest the -door, straining my ears to catch the sound of approaching footsteps. - -Shortly after midnight my friend the A.D.C. made his appearance, and, -with a theatrical gesture, indicative of boundless space, he advanced, -saying: - -“The Minister grants you permission to go home.” - -My feelings are better imagined than described. I sprang up, and made -the Sign of the Cross, and my hand sought the beloved medal hidden in my -dress. So I was really free! I could hardly believe it, surely I could -not have heard aright! - -The A.D.C. told me to put on my hat and cloak and follow him.... Before -I did so he asked me to sign a paper agreeing not to leave Petrograd, -and to hold myself in readiness to be interrogated. I did so; then, -picking up my suit-case, I went downstairs. - -He left me in the hall. I had now apparently lost all interest for him, -as he did not trouble to bid me farewell.... He merely pointed out the -door, and disappeared. I looked round, hardly daring to move. I was not -able to realize that I was free to go when, and where, I chose. I pushed -open the heavy door, and found myself in the cold and darkness outside. -Not a single fiacre was in sight; I felt too exhausted to move, but I -made a supreme effort to walk.... Impossible! My feet slipped in all -directions in the melted snow and slush of the road. Suddenly I noticed -a man who was regarding me with evident curiosity.... My heart sank. -What if this scrutiny meant that I was about to be rearrested? - -The man made his way to where I was standing. “Are you Madame Dehn?” he -enquired civilly. - -“I am.” - -“I thought I recognised you, Madame. I’ve been at your house several -times. I was formerly Madame Kazarinoff’s footman. Poor, poor Madame, -who would have believed this could happen to you. Let me help you. I -know where I can find a fiacre.” - -He presently returned with a fiacre, and assisted me to get in with all -the courtesy and deference of a well-trained servant. I thanked him many -times.... He gave the direction to the driver, and we drove away. - -It was one in the morning before I arrived home. I rang the bell, and -after some delay the door was opened by my maid ... who nearly fainted -when she saw me.... I couldn’t speak. My thoughts were concentrated on -Titi.... I ran past her upstairs to his room.... It was empty! What had -happened--could he be dead? I hurried across the landing to my -bedroom.... A light was burning.... Someone was in bed.... Thank God, I -recognised the beloved dark head of my boy--he was safe. I fell on my -knees beside him. With a little start, and a smile, which was like balm -to my yearning heart, Titi awoke.... - -“Mother, mother....” He flung his arms round me. I covered his face with -kisses. “Where have you come from?” he enquired. - -“From prison.” - -The child began to cry. I realized the tactlessness of my reply. “If -they ever take you away again I’ll go too,” he sobbed. “But where’s -‘Aunt Baby’? What has happened to her? And where is Papa? They say he’s -been killed.”[16] - -“Darling, darling, I can tell you nothing about Papa.” - -Hearing the sound of voices, my father now came into the room. He was -greatly relieved to know that I was safe, as all sorts of stories were -current respecting my fate and that of Anna Virouboff. But my one -thought was for my child: he was much better, but the room struck cold, -and I asked my father how it was that there was no fire. He shrugged his -shoulders. “_Ma chère_,” he replied, “the answer is quite simple--we -have no wood! The servants manage to steal a little to burn during the -day, but at night _c’est bien autre chose_.” - -I undressed as quickly as possible, and got into bed. I held Titi close. -I kissed him passionately. I trembled with mingled joy and fear!.... No -one should separate us. I knew nothing as to our ultimate fate, but I -had made up my mind, during these first hours of freedom, to escape as -soon as possible to my estates in South Russia, and, if the Imperial -Family were removed from Tsarkoe, to join them. - -It was a strange home-coming. The whole house was disorganised. The -servants were still devoted to my interests, but food and fuel were -difficult to obtain. I spent the morning of the next day lying on a -couch in my dressing-room. I was really ill; the long strain had told, -and Nature was now exacting her toll in the shape of occasional heart -attacks. The hours passed peacefully and slowly, but at ten o’clock in -the evening the telephone rang, and my maid told me that the Commandant -of the Equipage de la Garde wanted to speak to me. - -I was surprised and vexed. After the way in which certain officers had -treated the Imperial Family, it was not agreeable for me to continue -their acquaintance. However, I went to the ’phone. - -“Madame Dehn,” said a well-known voice, “have you actually come back -from the Palace?” - -“Yes, I returned to Petrograd a few days ago.” - -“I heard that you had been placed under arrest. How is it then that you -are at home?” - -“Kerensky has given me permission to be with Titi. Cannot you, for my -husband’s sake, and as one of his brother-officers, come over and see -me?” - -“Impossible,” answered the voice. “Look here, you can’t stay where you -are.” - -“Very well, since you order, I suppose I must obey. I’ll try and find -somewhere else, as soon as I am rested.” - -“You must go NOW.” - -“I haven’t anywhere to go, and the child is ill.” - -“Take him to an hotel. I won’t be responsible for your safety. Lots of -things may happen during the night.... The sailors may come and murder -you.” The Commandant then rang off, and left me to face this new terror. -But my mind was made up. I would not leave home at a moment’s notice. If -we had to die, we would die together. I was too exhausted, and the child -was too ill, to contemplate a midnight flight. - -I rang up my husband’s nephew, who was in barracks, and he promised to -keep me well advised; but fortunately the night passed peacefully. -Nobody came near the house. - -Weeks elapsed, and Kerensky seemed to have completely forgotten my -existence. I led a quiet life, but my heart was torn with anxiety -concerning my beloved friends. I received some letters from the Empress, -and I wrote constantly to her, and to the Grand Duchesses. It was in -connection with this correspondence that I was summoned to Tsarkoe Selo, -by order of Commandant Kobilinsky. - -I was instructed to leave Petrograd secretly, and to wear my Red Cross -uniform. It was early in July, and the trees were bravely apparelled in -their young verdure. It was very different to that bleak March afternoon -when the snow lay thickly on the ground, and the wind had stung my face -with its icy breath. Outwardly, at all events, everything was peaceful, -but tears filled my eyes at the recollection of past Julys.... Surely -God would not permit the innocent to suffer; surely Justice would awaken -in the soul of misguided Russia, and all might yet be well. - -As I approached the Palace I became sensible of an eerie change, both in -it and in its immediate surroundings. I stopped to consider in what the -change consisted. Then knowledge dawned upon me. Tsarkoe was a _dead_ -place. Its windows were almost hidden by the straggling branches of the -unclipped trees, grass grew between the stones of its silent courtyard, -and I instantly likened it to a famous Russian picture, “Le Chateau -Oublié.” ... It was indeed a forgotten castle! I walked to and fro -gazing up at the windows, but those within the Palace gave no sign of -life. I wanted to call aloud that I was there, but I dared not imperil -their safety or my own. I considered even now that I held my life in -trust for the service of the Empress.... Who knew when she might require -me? - -Kobilinsky had taken up his quarters in the large building opposite the -Palace, so I repaired thither. There were hardly any people visible, and -I was directed to Kobilinsky’s private room. He was a dark, shortish, -nervous man, wearing military uniform, and, as the Empress had written -that he was kind to them, I was naturally anxious to make a good -impression. This interview is of some importance as I am enabled to -contradict a part of Kobilinsky’s deposition which appeared in a recent -publication. In this deposition he queries the name of the writer of -certain letters - -[Illustration: PART OF LETTER FROM HER IMPERIAL MAJESTY WRITTEN ON THE -DAY OF DEPARTURE FOR SIBERIA. - -(_The note in centre is in the handwriting of the Tsarevitch._)] - -[Illustration: LETTER RECEIVED AT VLADIVOSTOK, IN 1916, WHEN I WAS ON MY -WAY TO JAPAN WITH MY HUSBAND. HER IMPERIAL MAJESTY HERE GIVES ME A -REPORT OF THE DOINGS OF MY LITTLE SON WHOM I HAD LEFT IN HER CHARGE.] - -which came to Tsarkoe Selo, and attributes them to quite another person. -The actual writer was myself, and the confusion respecting the signature -arose from the fact that I had used a fanciful name composed of that of -Titi and myself. There was not, and never has been, any “Mysterious -Personage” as Kobilinsky’s deposition leads one to suppose. - -“Are you Madame Dehn?” asked Kobilinsky, eyeing me with some degree of -curiosity. - -“Yes, Commandant!” - -“Are these from you?...” he continued, handing me a packet of letters. - -“Most certainly. They are all in my handwriting,” I said. - -“Then why on earth don’t you sign your full name when you write?” he -queried testily. - -“Because I’ve never been in the habit of doing so. ‘Tili’ is a fanciful -name, a combination of ‘Lili’ and ‘Titi.’” - -“I don’t believe you,” he said bluntly. “It is the name of another -lady.” - -“Why don’t you make enquiries if you doubt my word?” I returned. “You’ll -easily find out that I’m telling the truth.” - -“Well, well,” he grumbled. “I suppose I must believe you. But, see here, -Madame, you’ve got to promise me something. You _must_ agree to destroy -all the letters which the Empress has sent you. If you don’t, I won’t -allow you to write or to receive any more letters. I suppose,” he added, -“that such a devoted friend as yourself has not come to-day without -bringing some letters for the Family?” - -I acknowledged that such was the case. Kobilinsky smiled, and took the -letters. He then signified that the interview was over. - -Kobilinsky “passed” many letters to and from the Empress after this, but -I was always haunted by the fear lest my precious correspondence might -be stolen, or else forcibly destroyed. Fortune favoured me, and an -opportunity occurred to send my letters and certain private papers to -England under the safe conduct of General Poole. These papers were -ultimately deposited in a safe in London belonging to Prince George -Shrinsky-Shihmatoff. - -The Empress and the Grand Duchesses corresponded with me regularly after -they left Tsarkoe, in fact up to a few weeks of their departure for -Ekaterinburg. These letters were entrusted to confidential persons and -smuggled by them out of the prison. Those who expect startling -revelations of political importance will be sadly disappointed in these -pathetic little leaves which have drifted from Friendship’s tree across -a passion-racked country, and, like the song, “have found their home” in -the heart of a friend. But, for the student of psychology, the just man -or woman, the curious seeker “behind the scenes” of Royalty, they will, -I think, possess some interest. They will plead for a hearing far more -effectively than any poor words of mine. Not one of them contains a sigh -for the splendours of a throne. The woman who longed to be in the Crimea -at a time of year when the acacias were like “perfumed clouds” made no -allusion to the past glories of the Winter Palace, or the comfortable -“English” life at Tsarkoe Selo. Perhaps the words of the writer who -“being dead yet speaketh” may serve to efface some of the lies and -scandals which have bespattered the name of an Empress who has been -condemned so unmercifully. - -The Empress and I have never met since that March afternoon when she -bade me farewell. I cannot accept the almost overwhelming proofs of the -tragedy of Ekaterinburg. From time to time reports of the safety of the -Imperial Family have reached us, but the next moment we are faced with -evidence that the whole of them have perished. God alone knows the -truth, but I still permit myself to hope. - -After my interview with Kobilinsky I returned to Petrograd, where I -spent some uneventful weeks. Poor Anna was right when she said that -things were no better after the Revolution than they were before! -Existence was a difficult problem: a period of starvation set in, and -we, like others, became familiar with the pangs of hunger. It was -impossible to procure nourishing food for Titi; so, almost at my wits’ -end, I applied for permission to remove him to South Russia. - -This permission was most unexpectedly granted. Two weeks later -Kerensky’s Government fell, and for the moment I was forgotten! - -We lived very quietly at Beletskovka, and I was always planning the best -way of escape to rejoin my beloved friends. “_L’homme propose, et Dieu -dispose._” A wave of Bolshevism swept over South Russia, and our safety -was menaced to such an extent that I was forced to escape with Titi to -Odessa, and, as our adventures in no way touch on the subject of this -book, I shall refrain from relating them. Suffice it to say that we -managed to reach Odessa, and from thence, under the protection of the -French, we went to Constantinople. - -From Constantinople we made our way to Gibraltar, and from Gibraltar to -England, where my husband was awaiting me after a three years’ -separation. - - EXTRACT FROM THE LETTER OF 5 JUNE, 1917. - - TSARKOE SELO. - - Oh! how pleased I am that they have appointed a new - Commander-in-Chief of the Baltic Fleet (Admiral Raswosoff). I hope - to God it will be better now. He is a real sailor and I hope he - will succeed in restoring order now. The heart of a soldier’s - daughter and wife is suffering terribly, in seeing what is going - on. Cannot get accustomed and do not wish to. They were such hero - soldiers, and how they were spoilt just at a time when it was - necessary to start to get rid of the enemy (Germans). It will take - many years to fight yet. You will understand how he (Tsar) must - suffer. He reads, and tears stand in his eyes (newspapers), but I - believe they will yet win (the War). We have so many friends in the - fighting line. I can imagine how terribly they must suffer. Of - course nobody can write. Yesterday we saw quite new people (new - guard)--such a difference. It was at last quite a pleasure to see - them. Am writing again what I ought not to, but this does not go by - post, or you would not have received it. Of course, I have nothing - of interest to write. To-day is a prayer at 12 o’clock. Anastasia - is to-day 16 years old. How the time flies.... - - I am remembering the past. It is necessary to look more calmly on - everything. What is to be done? Once He sent us such trials, - evidently He thinks we are sufficiently prepared for it. It is a - sort of examination--it is necessary to prove that we did not go - through it in vain. One can find in everything something good and - useful--whatever sufferings we go through--let it be, He will give - us force and patience and will not leave us. He is merciful. It is - only necessary to bow to His wish without murmur and await--there - on the other side He is preparing to all who love Him undescribable - joy. You are young and so are our children--how many I have besides - my own--you will see better times yet here. I believe strongly the - bad will pass and there will be clear and cloudless sky. But the - thunder-storm has not passed yet and therefore it is stifling--but - I know it will be better afterwards. One must have only a little - patience--and is it really so difficult? For every day that passes - quietly I thank God.... - - Three months have passed now (since Revolution)!! The people were - promised that they would have more food and fuel, but all has - become worse and more expensive. They have deceived everybody--I am - so sorry for them. How many we have helped, but now it is all - finished.... - - It is terrible to think about it! How many people depended on us. - But now? But one does not speak about such things, but I am writing - about it because I feel so sadly about those who will have it more - difficult now to live. But it is God’s will! My dear own, I must - finish now. Am kissing you and Titi most tenderly. Christ be with - you. - - “Most hearty greetings”--(from the Czar). - - Yours loving, - AUNT BABY. - - - - _30th July, 1917._ - TSARKOE SELO. - -MY DEAREST, - - Heartiest thanks for letter of the 21st. Cannot write--he has no - time to read (“he”--Colonel Kobilinsky, Revolutionary Commandant of - the Palace), the poor man is so busy all the time that he is often - without lunch and dinner. Am pleased have made his acquaintance. E. - S. has seen you (“E. S.”--Doctor Botkin). I am so pleased that you - know all about us. - - Will remember your last year’s trip. Do you remember? Have not been - quite well lately--often had head and heartache. My heart was - enlarged. Am sleeping very badly. But never mind--God gives me His - strength. Have brought the ikon of Snameni (of God Mother). How - thankful I am that this was possible, at this day dear to me - (birthday of Tsarevitch). I prayed hard for you and remembered how - we used to pray together before it. How Tina (Anna Virouboff) will - now suffer--without anybody in the town and her sister in Finland - and her friends going so far away (meaning herself)--how much - people have to suffer--the path of life is so hard. Please write to - A. W. (Colonel Siroboyarski--one of the wounded officers) and send - him heartfelt greetings and - - [Illustration: I.--PART OF THE LETTER DATED JUNE 5/18, 1917 - - (Time of Kerensky’s first unsuccessful offensive)] - - [Illustration: II.--PART OF THE LETTER DATED JUNE 5/18, 1917] - - blessings ✠--kiss you most tenderly and the darling Titi (my son). - God preserve you and the Holy Mother. - - Always yours, - AUNT BABY. - - Kindest regards (meaning the Czar). - - I remember--Faith, Hope, Love--that is all, all in life. You - understand my feelings. Be brave. Thank you most heartily. All - touched by your little ikons--will just put it on. Ask Rita (Miss - Hitrovo) to write to the mother of your countryman (Colonel - Siroboyarski). - - [Illustration: PART OF LETTER OF 30TH JULY, 1917. - - (_Day of removal from Tsarkoe Selo to Tobolsk. The upper portion is - written by the Grand Duchess Olga, the postscript is in the - handwriting of Her Imperial Majesty._)] - - Added by Tsarevitch: - - Kiss you most tenderly. Thanks for congratulations. - - ALEXEI. - - Added by Grand Duchess Olga: - - I also kiss you most tenderly and thank you Lili my heart, for post - card, and little ikon. God preserve you. - - OLGA. - - - -Added by the Empress: - - Thank you for your dear letters--we understand each other. It is - hard to be separated. Greetings to R. Gor. ✠ I have learnt only now - how you spent the first days (in prison). It is terrible, but God - will reward. Am pleased that your husband has written. - - _29th November, 1917._ - TOBOLSK. - -MY DEAREST, - - I am for such a very, very long time without news of you, and I - feel sad. Have you received my post card of the 28th October? - -[Illustration: CHRISTMAS CARD DRAWN SPECIALLY FOR ME BY HER IMPERIAL -MAJESTY WHILE AT TOBOLSK.] - - Everybody is well--my heart is not up to much, fit at times, but on - the whole it is better. - - I live very quietly and seldom go out as it is too difficult to - breathe in frozen air. - - Lessons as usual. (News from Petrograd) “T” is as always. Zina has - been to see her and O. V., who is very sad, she is always praying. - Father Makari passed on on the 19th July. - - Rumours have it that Gariainoff has married, but we do not know - whether it is true. (Speaking of herself the Empress writes) Aunt - Baby drew this herself. How is Titi?--Granny--I want to know such, - such a lot. How is Count Keller? Have you seen him in Kharkoff? The - present events are so awful for words, shameful and almost funny, - but God is merciful, darling. Soon we shall be thinking of those - days you passed with us. My God, what remembrances! - - Matresha has married, they are now all in P., but the brother is at - the front. - - I read a lot, embroider and draw (I have to do it all with my - spectacles, am so old). I think of you often and always pray - fervently for you and love you tenderly. - - I kiss you very, very much. - - May Christ protect you. - - Your countryman is at Vladivostok and Nicholas Jakovlevitch (one of - the wounded) is, I think, also in Siberia. I am so lonely without - you all. Where is your husband and his friends? We are still - expecting Ysa and the others. - - I kiss Titi tenderly. Write, I am waiting so. Verveine (toilet - water) always reminds me of you. - - _2/15 March, 1918._ - TOBOLSK. - -MY OWN DEAR DARLING, - - Best and tender thanks for your dear letter. At last we have - received good news from you; it was an anxious time not to hear for - so long, knowing that things are bad where you are living. I can - imagine though what terrible mental agony you must be going - through, and you are alone. My little godchild (Titi) is with you - always--what he must see and hear! It is a hard school. My God, how - sorry I am for you my little giant one; you have always been so - brave. I think of those days of a year ago. I shall never forget - that you were everything to me and believe that God will not leave - you or forsake you. You left your son for “Mother” (meaning - herself) and her family, and great will your reward be for this. - - Thank God that your husband is not with you, for it would have been - terrible, but not to know anything about him is more than awful. - When I did not know for four days where mine was “then” (during the - days of the Revolution), but what was that in comparison with you. - But for us, in general, it is better and easier than for others--it - hurts not to be with all our dear ones and not to be able to share - their troubles. Yes, separation is a dreadful thing, but God gives - strength to bear even this, and I feel the Father’s presence near - me and a wonderful sense of peaceful joy thrills and fills my soul - (Tina feels the same), and one cannot understand the reason for it, - as everything is so unutterably sad, but this comes from Above and - is beside ourselves, and one knows that He will not forsake His - own, will strengthen and protect. - - Have news at last, two received new from K.; poor thing, she has a - new sorrow, has buried her beloved father--her mother is with her. - It is not easy for her to stay in town, though she has good friends - and is not so cut off as you are, dearest. Be careful of certain of - your friends--they are dangerous. - - If you see dear Count Keller again, tell him that his ex-Chief - (meaning herself) sends him her heartiest greeting (to her as - well), and tell him that she prays constantly for him. I am anxious - to know whether he has any news of his eldest son. Radionoff and - his brother are in Kieff I hear that Gariainoff and his wife have - been in Gagra and are now--so they say--at Rostoff. Am anxious - about them, all last week have been _worrying_ over it, and do not - know why. - - To-day we have 20 degrees of frost, but the sun is warm and we have - already had real spring days. Godmother (meaning herself) does all - the housekeeping now, looks through books and accounts--a lot to - do, quite a real housewife. Everybody is well--only a few colds, - and feet ached, not very badly, but enough to keep from walking. - They have all grown, Marie is now much thinner, the fourth is stout - and small. Tatiana helps everyone and everywhere, as usual; Olga is - lazy, but they are all one in spirit. They kiss you - tenderly--(stands for the Emperor) sends his hearty greetings. They - are already sunburnt, they work hard, sew and cut wood, or we - should have none. The court is full of timber, so we shall have - enough to last. - -[Illustration: PART OF LETTER DATED MARCH 2/15, 1918, WHICH REACHED ME -THREE YEARS LATER IN ENGLAND] - - - We still are not allowed to go to church. A. V.’s mother (one of - the Empress’s wounded) is very sorry that you have not been to see - her. She is living with some relatives of your mother’s. Their - estate has been taken away from them. The son has returned, he now - looks, as they all do, pale and miserable. - - They, poor things, can no longer keep M. S., and will probably be - obliged soon to leave the house. She hardly ever gets a letter from - her son; he too is complaining, so I copy what they write to me and - send it on to them. - - He is very upset not to hear from you, though he himself has - written to you. He is going to Japan to learn English, he learnt - more than 900 words in ten days and of course overtired himself and - has been feeling ill. He was operated upon in December, in - Vladivostok. Rita writes that Nicholas Jakovlevitch (one of the - wounded) is at Simferopol with his friend, the brother of little M. - Their splendid (good) friend (Alexandre Dumbadze) has been killed - there, we loved him very much, he was one of our wounded. - - I only write what I dare, for in the present days one never knows - in whose hands the letter might fall. We hope to do our devotions - next week if we are allowed to do so. I am already looking forward - to those beautiful services--such a longing to pray in church. I - dream of our church (at Tsarkoe Selo) and of my little cell-like - corner near the altar. Nature is beautiful, everything is shining - and brilliantly lighted up. The children are singing next door. - There are no lessons to-day as it is Friday of Carnival week. - - I relive in mind, day by day, through the year that has passed and - think of those I saw for the last time. Have been well all along, - but for the past week my heart has been bad and I do not feel well, - but this is nothing. We cannot complain, we have got everything, we - live well, thanks to the touching kindness of the people, who in - secret send us bread, fish, pies, etc. - - Do not worry about us, darling, dearly beloved one. For you all it - is hard and especially for our Country!!! This hurts more than - anything else--and the heart is racked with pain--what has been - done in one year! God has allowed it to happen--therefore it must - be necessary so that they might understand, that eyes might be - opened to lies and deceits. - - I cannot read the newspapers quietly, those senseless - telegrams--and with the German at the door!!! - - K. and everyone else looks at “brother” as a saviour--Great God, to - what have they come to, to wait for the enemy to come and rid them - from the infernal foe. And who is sent as the leader? Aunt Baby’s - brother (meaning herself). Do you understand. They wished to act - nicely, probably thinking that it would be less painful and - humiliating to her--but for her (meaning herself) it is far - worse--such an unbearable pain--but everything generally hurts - now--all one’s feelings have been trampled underfoot--but so it has - to be, the soul must grow and rise above all else; that which is - most dear and tender in us has been wounded--is it not true? So we - too have to understand through it all that God is greater than - everything and that He wants to draw us, through our sufferings, - closer to Him. Love Him more and better than one and all. But my - country--my God--how I love it, with all the power of my being, and - her sufferings give me actual physical pain. - - And who makes her (Russia) suffer, who causes blood to flow?... her - own sons. My God, what a ghastly horror it all is. And who is the - enemy? This cruel German, and the worst thing for Aunt Baby is that - he (the enemy) is taking away everything as in the time of Tsar - Alexsei Michailovich (meaning that frontiers of Russia would become - again as during the reign of A. M.). But I am convinced that it - will not remain so, help will come from Above, people can no longer - do anything, but with God all things are possible, and He will show - His strength, wisdom and all forgiveness and love--only believe, - wait and pray. - - This letter will, in all probability, reach you on the day of our - parting (one year ago), it seems so near and yet again as if - centuries had passed since then. - - It is seven months that we have been here. We see Ysa[17] only - through the windows, and Madeleine (the Empress’s lady’s-maid, - Madeleine Zanotti) too. They have been here for three or four - months to-day, I am told. I must give that letter at once. - - I kiss you and Titi tenderly, Christ be with you, my dearest ones. - Greeting to Mother and Grandmother. The children kiss and love you, - and he (the Emperor) sends his very best wishes. - - YOUR OLD GODMOTHER. - - - - * * * * * - - - - -L’ENVOI - - -The first idea of writing this book occurred to me some time after my -arrival in England. I had always known that the Empress had been grossly -misrepresented in Russia, but I had not attached much importance to the -fact, as I had seen the Revolutionary propaganda, and I fully realized -the methods of the Revolutionaries in relation to the Imperial Family. - -I was, however, astonished and horrified to discover that the same ideas -were current in the broad-minded and enlightened country which has -afforded me and so many other fugitives such kindly sanctuary. - -If possible, I think the Empress has been more universally condemned in -England than in Russia. I have scarcely heard her name mentioned without -its being coupled with the degrading attributes of treachery, -sensualism, hysteria, and religious mania. To one who knew her -intimately and who loved her devotedly, such a state of things is -unspeakably painful. I accidentally saw a film which was the grossest -libel on her character and her personality, the mind of the producer -having been apparently bent upon presenting the Empress as a combination -of the chief forms of lurid wickedness which appeal to patrons of the -cinema. I have also read novels about her which, whilst enraging me as -mendacious chronicles, have considerably enlightened me as to the -capacity for invention of which the human imagination is capable. More -serious works have condemned the Empress in a courteous manner, but they -have been none the less scathing in their judgment. Some writers, after -the story of Ekaterinburg was authentically given to the world, have -been more tolerant and more pitying in their censure, but it has been -always censure. - -Therefore, in the face of such hatred and contempt for one at whose -hands I have received nothing but kindness and love, I determined to -write my impressions of the Empress as I knew her, both in the happy -days and afterwards in those of war and unrest during the first dark -weeks of the Revolution. - -I reasoned, I trust with justice, that although the majority of people -are always ready to believe the worst of anyone, there must be others -who, in the spirit of fair play, would be willing to look on the reverse -side of the picture. There must surely be friends and relations in -England who would welcome facts which proved that the Empress had been -true to her English upbringing and to the traditional right living of -the descendants of Queen Victoria. English people seem to have -forgotten, when the Empress was vilified on the screen and in cold type, -that she was the daughter of Princess Alice, a name which is associated -with all that is noblest and best in woman, a name which alone, one -might have thought, would have pleaded for that of her daughter. But -nothing protected her, not even the facts that her first cousin was King -of England and that one of her sisters was married and living in this -country. - -I knew the almost impossible task of rehabilitation which lay before me, -but, as the task daily assumed greater proportions, love and pity for my -beloved friend urged me to attempt it. - -I knew that I might be accused of being a Rasputinière, since my -photograph taken with him had appeared in one of the English illustrated -papers; but my best reply to such a possible charge is that I am living -in England with my husband and child, and that my husband has sanctioned -my description of Rasputin as I and others knew him. If the Empress’s -association with Rasputin had been a guilty one, or if I had not been in -a position to describe events exactly as they happened, this book would -never have been written. - -It is both unjust and untrue to ascribe the Revolution as directly -consequent upon the Emperor’s weakness, or the pro-Germanism and -hysteric sensuality of the Empress. I have endeavoured to show that -Rasputin was probably one of the unconscious tools of the Revolution -against Imperialism: there is no doubt that German intrigues brought -Lenin back from Switzerland to overthrow the milder rule of Kerensky, -who was not ready to offer the country an efficient substitute for -Tsardom, but the Empress was entirely innocent of pro-Germanism. Russia -was ripe for Revolution; she had essayed Revolution years before the -Empress or Rasputin saw the light. Her political history alone proves my -statement, but War hurried the feet of Revolution toward her -bloodstained goal. Other European kingdoms have tottered or fallen, but -Russia is a land of extremes: hence the extreme methods of her ideas of -equality, which are, in many respects, similar to those of the French -Revolution. - -I am well aware that certain “official” documents relative to the -Empress were sent to England, and I know the shameful assertions which -they contained. These documents emanated from the Duma, and were -“arranged” by the Duma, in order to justify many things which would -otherwise have been unjustifiable. - -I have not attempted to give to the world any elaborate descriptions of -Court festivities, and those happenings which are the common property of -all European journalists. Mine is a very simple résumé of the daily life -and personality of the Empress as I knew her. I have endeavoured to -avoid anything in the nature of exaggeration, in the hope that the -public, who have innocently lent a ready ear to those things which are -untrue, and which have been exploited by people who never saw or spoke -to the Empress, will give equal consideration to the testimony of one -who both knew and loved The Real Tsaritsa. - - - - -INDEX - - - PAGE - -Alexander II, 21 - -Alexandra, Queen, 199 - -Alexandra, Tsaritsa, _passim_ - -Anastasie, Grand Duchess, 78, 159, _passim_ - -Appraxin, Count, 161 - - -Bariatinsky, Princess, 61 - -Beletsky, General, 106-7 - -Benckendorff, Count, 152-3, 157, 167, 181, 201, 212 - -Botkin, Dr., 72, 159, 240 - -Büxhoevgen, Baroness, 154 - - -Clementine of Coburg, 129 - -Cyril, Grand Duke, 162 - - -Dehn, Charles, 37, 41, 53, 138 - -Dehn, Madame, _passim_ - -Direvenko, Dr., 159 - -Dolgorouky, Princess, 21 - -Dolgouroki, Prince, 137 - -Duma, 36, 250 - - -Elidor, 95 - - -Fedoroff, Dr., 195 - -Ferdinand of Bulgaria, 129 - -French Revolution, 249 - - -Gendrinkoff, Countess, 168 - -George V, 199 - -Germogen, 95 - -Gibbs, Mr., 83, 175 - -Gilliard, M., 83, 175 - -Golitzin, Princess, 38-9 - -Golovina, Mary, 117 - -Gourko, General, 139 - -Goutchkoff, M., 178-80, 194-5 - -Grand Duchesses, 75-84, 134, _et passim_ - -Greek Church, 128 - -Grotten, Colonel, 137, 140, 149, 153 - - -“Hampshire”, 57, 143 - -Hitrowo, Rita, 163 - -Horvat, 15, 32 - -Hvostchinsky, Captain, 148 - - -Kapnist, Count, 136 - -Keller, Count, 194 - -Kerensky, 51, 208-13, 216-9, 224-9, 249 - -Kitchener, Lord, 57 - -Kobilinsky, Commandant, 233-8, 240 - -Korniloff, General, 181-2 - -Korovichenko, Colonel, 211 - -Kotzebue, Colonel, 191, 201-2, 205 - -Kotzebue-Pilar, Countess, 139 - -Koutousoff, Prince, 16 - -Kouzmine, Lieutenant, 162 - - -Labour Party, 198 - -Laptinsky, Akilina, 113-6, 121-2 - -Lenin, 18, 249 - -Linavitch, 136, 151 - -Litovsky Regiment, 149 - -Lvoff, Prince, 227 - - -Marie, Grand Duchess, 77, 166, _passim_ - -Markoff, Lieutenant, 169-70 - -Mary, Queen, 68 - -Miasocdoff-Ivanof, 162 - - -Nicholas, Grand Duke, 22, 132-3 - -Nicholas, Tsar, 51, 85-91, 188-91, _passim_; - abdication, 165, 194 - - -Olga, Grand Duchess, 75, _passim_ - -Orbelliany, Princess, 173-4 - -Orchard, Miss, 212 - -Orianda, 34-5 - -Orloff, General, 47-8 - -Orloff, Prince and Princess, 107 - - -Paul, Grand Duke, 151, 154, 157, 164, 179 - -Pistolkors, Allie, 149-50 - -Poole, General, 237 - -Protopopoff, 116, 120-1, 135, 140-2 - - -Rabindar, 136 - -Rasputin, 77, 93-143 - -Raswosoff, Admiral, 239 - -Ratief, Prince, 171 - -Resin, General, 149, 163, 164 - -Retief, Prince, 178 - -Revolutionary Agents, 34 - -Ripe, Miss, 32 - -Rodziansko, 168-9, 195-6 - -Rousky, General, 194-6 - -Russian peasant, 23-31 - -Russian Revolution, 147-250 - - -Sablin, M., 147, 155 - -Shoulgine, 194-5 - -Shrinsky-Shihmatoff, Prince, 237 - -Soukhomlinoff, General, 132-3 - -Stackelberg, Baron, 195-6 - -Stopford, A., 197 - -Swastika, 63 - - -Tanieff, Madame, 148-9 - -Tatiana, Grand Duchess, 76, _passim_ - -Tsarevitch, 81-4, 99, 183, _passim_ - -Tutcheff, Mlle, 77 - - -Varnava, 110 - -Vasiltchikoff, Princess, 135-6 - -Victoria, Queen, 59-60 - -Virouboff, Anna, 38, 47, 97-8, 112, 114-21, 126, 129, - 137, 149, 172-3, 209-19, 221-2 - -Volinsky Regiment, 149 - -Volkoff, 166, 174, 178-9, 188 - - -William, Kaiser, 90 - - -Yousopoff, Prince, 117, 125 - - -PRINTED BY BURLEIGH LTD., AT THE BURLEIGH PRESS BRISTOL ENGLAND - - -FOOTNOTES: - -[1] The apartments at Tsarkoe Selo reserved for guests and the suite -were situated over the third and fourth entrances to the Palace. The -red drawing-room was in the private apartments.--L. D. - -[2] M. Rodziansko, the President of the Duma, was an aristocrat who had -turned Revolutionary: he was always antagonistic to the Imperial Family. - -[3] Znaminie is a little church adjacent to the Palace. - -[4] During this time the Empress and I wore nurses’ uniforms. It has -been erroneously stated that the Empress wore ordinary dress. This is -not the case. - -[5] From the time that the Emperor left for the Front, one of the Grand -Duchesses always slept with the Empress. - -[6] The remaining members of the suite occupied apartments in the -fourth wing of the Palace. The Empress, who was afraid of infection for -others, only saw them occasionally. I was quite alone with her and the -children. - -[7] In all my descriptions of the conversations between the Emperor, -the Empress and myself, I have endeavoured to describe what took place, -almost word for word. I have not attempted to elaborate any of the -statements, and my record may therefore be considered accurate.--L. D. - -[8] The sleeping apartments of the Emperor and the Empress were -situated on the ground floor of the Palace.--L. D. - -[9] These faithful adherents were arrested at the next station and sent -to Petrograd, where they were incarcerated in the Fortress of Peter and -Paul.--L. D. - -[10] Count Keller was killed at Kieff later. - -[11] If Mr. A. Stopford (1a St. James’s Square) ever reads these -lines, he may be glad to know that the Empress greatly appreciated his -kindness.--L. D. - -[12] The _skorohod_ were the confidential messengers of the Imperial -Family. They wore a distinctive livery, and wonderful hats adorned with -black and yellow ostrich feathers. - -[13] The actual note to reproduced in these pages. Translation: -“Kerensky is passing through all our rooms--Do not be afraid--God is -present. I kiss you both.” - -[14] Orchie was a pet name for Miss Orchard, the Empress’s old -governess, who had died at the Palace. Her room had been left -undisturbed since her death. - -[15] General Knox was discussing certain matters with Kerensky at the -moment when this shooting occurred, and he asked Kerensky what the -shots signified. “Oh, it’s only two friends of the Imperial Family who -have just been brought here,” answered Kerensky. I met General Knox -after my escape to England, and when he related the incident I informed -him that I was one of the “two friends.”--L. D. - -[16] I heard later that it was reported that my husband had been killed -and his body thrown overboard. - -[17] Baroness Büxhoevgen Lady-in-waiting to the Empress. - - - - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Real Tsaritza, by Lili Dehn - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE REAL TSARITZA *** - -***** This file should be named 60432-0.txt or 60432-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/4/3/60432/ - -Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was -produced from images available at The Internet Archive) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, -set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to -copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to -protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project -Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you -charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you -do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the -rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose -such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and -research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do -practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is -subject to the trademark license, especially commercial -redistribution. - - - -*** START: FULL LICENSE *** - -THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE -PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK - -To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free -distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work -(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project -Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at -http://gutenberg.org/license). - - -Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works - -1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to -and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property -(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all -the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy -all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. -If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the -terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or -entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. - -1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be -used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who -agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few -things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See -paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement -and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works. See paragraph 1.E below. - -1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" -or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the -collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an -individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are -located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from -copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative -works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg -are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project -Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by -freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of -this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with -the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by -keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project -Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. - -1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern -what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in -a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check -the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement -before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or -creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project -Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning -the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United -States. - -1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: - -1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate -access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently -whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the -phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project -Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, -copied or distributed: - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - -1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived -from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is -posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied -and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees -or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work -with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the -work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 -through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the -Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or -1.E.9. - -1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted -with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution -must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional -terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked -to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the -permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. - -1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this -work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. - -1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this -electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without -prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with -active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project -Gutenberg-tm License. - -1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, -compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any -word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or -distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than -"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version -posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), -you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a -copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon -request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other -form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. - -1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, -performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works -unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing -access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided -that - -- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from - the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method - you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is - owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he - has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the - Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments - must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you - prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax - returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and - sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the - address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to - the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." - -- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies - you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he - does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm - License. You must require such a user to return or - destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium - and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of - Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any - money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the - electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days - of receipt of the work. - -- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free - distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set -forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from -both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael -Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the -Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. - -1.F. - -1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable -effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread -public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm -collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain -"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or -corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual -property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a -computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by -your equipment. - -1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right -of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project -Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all -liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal -fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT -LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE -PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE -TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE -LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR -INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH -DAMAGE. - -1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a -defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can -receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a -written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you -received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with -your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with -the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a -refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity -providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to -receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy -is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further -opportunities to fix the problem. - -1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth -in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER -WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO -WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. - -1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied -warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. -If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the -law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be -interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by -the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any -provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. - -1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the -trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone -providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance -with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, -promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, -harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, -that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do -or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm -work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any -Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. - - -Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm - -Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of -electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers -including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists -because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from -people in all walks of life. - -Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the -assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's -goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will -remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure -and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. -To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation -and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 -and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. - - -Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive -Foundation - -The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit -501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the -state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal -Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification -number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at -http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent -permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. - -The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. -Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered -throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at -809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email -business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact -information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official -page at http://pglaf.org - -For additional contact information: - Dr. Gregory B. Newby - Chief Executive and Director - gbnewby@pglaf.org - - -Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation - -Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide -spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of -increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be -freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest -array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations -($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt -status with the IRS. - -The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating -charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United -States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a -considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up -with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations -where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To -SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any -particular state visit http://pglaf.org - -While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we -have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition -against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who -approach us with offers to donate. - -International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make -any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from -outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. - -Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation -methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other -ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. -To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate - - -Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works. - -Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm -concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared -with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project -Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. - - -Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed -editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. -unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily -keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. - - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: - - http://www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/old/60432-0.zip b/old/60432-0.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 70bf3ae..0000000 --- a/old/60432-0.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h.zip b/old/60432-h.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index b6b4890..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/60432-h.htm b/old/60432-h/60432-h.htm deleted file mode 100644 index 843ecda..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/60432-h.htm +++ /dev/null @@ -1,7763 +0,0 @@ -<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" -"http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> - -<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en" xml:lang="en"> - <head> <link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg" /> -<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=utf-8" /> -<title> - The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Real Tsaritza, by Madame Lili Dehn. -</title> -<style type="text/css"> - p {margin-top:.2em;text-align:justify;margin-bottom:.2em;text-indent:4%;} - -.c {text-align:center;text-indent:0%;} - -.cb {text-align:center;text-indent:0%;font-weight:bold;} - -.dtts {letter-spacing:1em;text-align:center;text-indent:0%; -font-weight:bold;} - -.ditto {margin-right:1em;} -.ditto1 {margin-right:1.5em;} - -.fint {text-align:center;text-indent:0%; -margin-top:2em;font-size:70%;} - -.lftspc {margin-left:.25em;} - -.nind {text-indent:0%;} - -.r {text-align:right;margin-right: 5%;} - -.rt {text-align:right;} - -small {font-size: 70%;} - -big {font-size: 130%;} - - h1 {margin-top:5%;text-align:center;clear:both; -font-weight:normal;} - - h2 {margin-top:4%;margin-bottom:2%;text-align:center;clear:both; - font-size:120%;font-weight:normal;} - - h3 {margin:4% auto 2% auto;text-align:center;clear:both;font-size:105%;font-weight:normal;} - - hr {width:90%;margin:2em auto 2em auto;clear:both;color:black;} - - hr.full {width: 60%;margin:2% auto 2% auto;border-top:1px solid black; -padding:.1em;border-bottom:1px solid black;border-left:none;border-right:none;} - - table {margin-top:2%;margin-bottom:2%;margin-left:auto;margin-right:auto;border:none;} - - body{margin-left:4%;margin-right:6%;background:#ffffff;color:black;font-family:"Times New Roman", serif;font-size:medium;} - -a:link {background-color:#ffffff;color:blue;text-decoration:none;} - - link {background-color:#ffffff;color:blue;text-decoration:none;} - -a:visited {background-color:#ffffff;color:purple;text-decoration:none;} - -a:hover {background-color:#ffffff;color:#FF0000;text-decoration:underline;} - -.smcap {font-variant:small-caps;font-size:100%;} -.smcapc {font-variant:small-caps;font-size:100%;margin:auto auto; -max-width:15em;text-align:center; -text-indent:0%;padding:.25em;border:2px solid gray;} - - img {border:none;} - -.blockquot {margin-top:2%;margin-bottom:2%; -font-size:90%;} - -.caption {font-weight:normal;} -.caption p{font-size:75%;text-align:center;text-indent:0%;} - -.figcenter {margin-top:3%;margin-bottom:3%;clear:both; -margin-left:auto;margin-right:auto;text-align:center;text-indent:0%;} - @media handheld, print - {.figcenter - {page-break-before: avoid;} - } - -.footnotes {border:dotted 3px gray;margin-top:5%;clear:both;} - -.footnote {width:95%;margin:auto 3% 1% auto;font-size:0.9em;position:relative;} - -.label {position:relative;left:-.5em;top:0;text-align:left;font-size:.8em;} - -.fnanchor {vertical-align:30%;font-size:.8em;} - -div.poetry {text-align:center;} -div.poem {font-size:90%;margin:auto auto;text-indent:0%; -display: inline-block; text-align: left;} -.poem .stanza {margin-top: 1em;margin-bottom:1em;} -.poem span.i0 {display: block; margin-left: 0em; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} -.poem span.i11 {display: block; margin-left: 11em; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} - -.pagenum {font-style:normal;position:absolute; -left:95%;font-size:55%;text-align:right;color:gray; -background-color:#ffffff;font-variant:normal;font-style:normal;font-weight:normal;text-decoration:none;text-indent:0em;} -@media print, handheld -{.pagenum - {display: none;} - } -</style> - </head> -<body> - - -<pre> - -The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Real Tsaritza, by Lili Dehn - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: The Real Tsaritza - -Author: Lili Dehn - -Release Date: October 5, 2019 [EBook #60432] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE REAL TSARITZA *** - - - - -Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was -produced from images available at The Internet Archive) - - - - - - -</pre> - -<hr class="full" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/cover.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt="" title="" /> -</div> - -<p class="smcapc"> -<a href="#LIST_OF_ILLUSTRATIONS">List of Illustrations. </a><br /> -<a href="#FACSIMILIA">Facsimilia. </a><br /> -<a href="#FOREWORD">Foreword. </a><br /> -<a href="#Part_I_Old_Russia">Part I—Old Russia, </a><br /> -<a href="#CHAPTER_I-a">Chapter I, </a> -<a href="#CHAPTER_II-a"> II, </a> -<a href="#CHAPTER_III-a"> III, </a> -<a href="#CHAPTER_IV-a"> IV, </a> -<a href="#CHAPTER_V-a"> V, </a> -<a href="#CHAPTER_VI-a"> VI, </a><br /> -<a href="#Part_II_The_Revolution">Part II—The Revolution, </a><br /> -<a href="#CHAPTER_I-b">Chapter I, </a> -<a href="#CHAPTER_II-b"> II, </a> -<a href="#CHAPTER_III-b"> III, </a> -<a href="#CHAPTER_IV-b"> IV, </a> -<a href="#CHAPTER_V-b"> V, </a> -<a href="#CHAPTER_VI-b"> VI. </a><br /> -<a href="#LENVOI">L’envoi. </a><br /> -<a href="#INDEX">Index. </a> -</p> - -<p class="rt"><b>THE<br /> -REAL<br /> -TSARITSA</b> -</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_4" id="page_4">{4}</a></span> </p> - -<p><a name="ill_1" id="ill_1"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<a href="images/ill_001_lg.jpg"> -<img src="images/ill_001.jpg" width="336" height="455" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a> -<div class="caption"><p>H.I.M. ALEXANDRA</p> - -<p>(Given to the Author at Tsarskoe Selo, Spring, 1909)</p></div> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_5" id="page_5">{5}</a></span> </p> - -<h1> -THE<br /> -<br /> -REAL TSARITSA</h1> - -<p class="c">BY<br /> -<br /><big> -MADAME LILI DEHN</big><br /> -<br /> -CLOSE FRIEND OF THE<br /> -LATE EMPRESS OF RUSSIA<br /> -<br /><br /> -<img src="images/colophon.jpg" -width="60" -alt="" -/><br /><br /> -<br /> -<br /> -THORNTON BUTTERWORTH LTD.<br /> -15 BEDFORD STREET, LONDON, W.C.2<br /> -<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_6" id="page_6">{6}</a></span> </p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_7" id="page_7">{7}</a></span> </p> - -<p class="c"><i>First Published—— April, 1922</i><br /><br /><br /> -TSARKOE SELO<br /><br /> -——<br /> -To<br /><br /> -H.I.M. ALEXANDRA<br /><br /> -<span class="smcap">The Late Empress of Russia</span><br /><br /> -<i>Adieu, c’est pour un autre monde</i></p> - -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> -<span class="i0">The fate which destined thee for lofty power,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And crowned thee Sovereign o’er an Empire wide,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Placed too the cup of suffering by thy side<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And sorrow gave thee for imperial dower:<br /></span> -<span class="i0">How little did’st thou dream in Fortune’s hour<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Thy barque would founder on such tragic tide<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Of blood as wrecks a mighty nation’s pride,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">While black the clouds of Revolution lower!<br /></span> -<span class="i0">What force sustained thee in those days of stress<br /></span> -<span class="i0">When death and ruin held their sombre court,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And frenzied mob set might all right above?<br /></span> -<span class="i0">What made thee still thy prayers to Heav’n address,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And solace to thy stricken spirit brought?<br /></span> -<span class="i0">’Twas faith unshaken in a God of love.<br /></span> -</div><div class="stanza"> -<span class="i11"><span class="smcap">Oswald Norman.</span><br /></span> -<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_9" id="page_9">{9}</a></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_8" id="page_8">{8}</a></span></div></div> -</div> - -<h2><a name="LIST_OF_ILLUSTRATIONS" id="LIST_OF_ILLUSTRATIONS"></a>LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS</h2> - -<table border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" summary=""> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#ill_1">H.I.M. Alexandra</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#ill_1"><i>Frontispiece</i></a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#ill_2">Anna (Ania) Virouboff</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_48"><i>to face page</i> 48</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#ill_3">Her Imperial Majesty with Titi </a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_56"><span class="ditto1">"</span>56</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#ill_4">Her Imperial Majesty with the Tsarevitch</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_56"><span class="ditto1">"</span>56</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#ill_5">H.I.M. The Tsar with Officers of the Royal Yacht “Standart”</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_96"><span class="ditto1">"</span>96</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#ill_6">The Empress on board the “Standart”</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_96"><span class="ditto1">"</span>96</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#ill_7">H.I.M. on board the tender of the “Standart”</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_96"><span class="ditto1">"</span>96</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#ill_8">Grand Duchess Olga</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_104"><span class="ditto">"</span>104</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#ill_9">Grand Duchess Tatiana</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_104"><span class="ditto">"</span>104</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#ill_10">The Imperial Family</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_152"><span class="ditto">"</span>152</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#ill_11">Royal Shooting Party</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_160"><span class="ditto">"</span>160</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#ill_12">The Tsarevitch at G.H.Q.</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_160"><span class="ditto">"</span>160</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#ill_13">The Tsarevitch and his Spaniel “Joy”</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_160"><span class="ditto">"</span>160</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#ill_14">His Imperial Majesty and the Tsarevitch</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_184"><span class="ditto">"</span>184</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#ill_15">H.I.M. Alexandra (end of 1915)</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_184"><span class="ditto">"</span>184</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#ill_16">The Empress at Tobolsk</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_208"><span class="ditto">"</span>208</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#ill_17">The Empress with Tatiana at Tsarkoe Selo</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_208"><span class="ditto">"</span>208</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#ill_18">The Grand Duchesses Marie and Anastasie</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_208"><span class="ditto">"</span>208</a></td></tr> -</table> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_10" id="page_10">{10}</a></span> </p> - -<h2><a name="FACSIMILIA" id="FACSIMILIA"></a>FACSIMILIA</h2> - -<table border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" summary=""> -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fax_1">Part of letter of June 5/18, 1917</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_240"><i>to face page</i> 240</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fax_2">Part of letter of March 2/15, 1918 </a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_245"><span class="ditto">"</span>245</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fax_3">Note from the Empress</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_208"><span class="ditto">"</span>208</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fax_4">Part of letter on day of departure for Siberia </a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_234"><span class="ditto">"</span>234</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fax_5">Letter from the Empress (1916) </a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_235"><span class="ditto">"</span>235</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fax_6">Part of letter of 30th July, 1917 </a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_241"><span class="ditto">"</span>241</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fax_7">Christmas Card drawn by the Empress </a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_242"><span class="ditto">"</span>242</a></td></tr> -</table> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_11" id="page_11">{11}</a></span></p> - -<h2><a name="FOREWORD" id="FOREWORD"></a>FOREWORD</h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">In</span> giving to the world my memories of the Empress Alexandra of Russia, I -do not wish to pose as one who is biased by a long and intimate -friendship. I write of the Tsaritsa as I knew her: the real Tsaritsa. I -was not acquainted with the heroine of the films, the hysterical -devotee, or the pro-German who, it is asserted, betrayed both her -country by adoption and the country which knew her as a granddaughter of -Queen Victoria and the daughter of a much loved English Princess.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_13" id="page_13">{13}</a></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_12" id="page_12">{12}</a></span></p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_14" id="page_14">{14}</a></span> </p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_15" id="page_15">{15}</a></span> </p> - -<h2><a name="Part_I_Old_Russia" id="Part_I_Old_Russia"></a>Part I—Old Russia</h2> - -<h3><a name="CHAPTER_I-a" id="CHAPTER_I-a"></a>CHAPTER I</h3> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I was</span> born on the beautiful estates in South Russia which belonged to my -grandmother and my uncle. My father was Ismail Selim Bek Smolsky, whose -ancestors hailed from Lithuanian Tartary, and my mother, before her -marriage, was Mlle Catherine Horvat, whose grandfather had been invited -by the Empress Elizabeth Petrovna to come from Hungary and assist in the -colonization of South Russia. Colonel Horvat, who was half Serbian and -half Hungarian by birth, was appointed general of the armies of the -South by the Empress, and there is a story in our family that when he -first arrived in Russia he was taken to the summit of a high mountain -and told to look at the panorama of fields and forests lying beneath -him.</p> - -<p>Colonel Horvat dutifully admired the view, but an unexpected surprise -awaited him. “Look well around you, M. le Colonel,” said his guide, “the -country, as far as you can see, is yours; it is the gift of the -Empress!” Truly an Imperial gift, but all that remains of those great -possessions are the estates where I was born. These properties were -situated on the Dnieper, in the country known as “Little Russia,” which -in former times was the seat of the Ukranian Government. My forefathers -became typical Russian noblemen; they were lavishly generous<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_16" id="page_16">{16}</a></span> where -their inclinations were concerned, and it is asserted that one of them -once exchanged a large forest for a sporting dog which he especially -coveted!</p> - -<p>Revovka, my birthplace, was close to the other estates which came into -our possession through Prince Goleniktcheff Koutousoff, the hero who -saved Russia from falling into the hands of the French. It was a -delightful old house, standing in a well-wooded park, with avenues of -lime trees where the nightingales sang, and as I write, I can smell the -unforgettable perfume of the limes, and recall the beauty and peace of -the surroundings; it was, indeed, a real fairyland. All was prosperity -and happiness at Revovka. The village nestled close to the Great House, -and my ancestors were buried in the church. There were rows of little -cottages which were whitewashed every week; the roofs were thatched with -reeds, and the gardens were gay with flowers. A cherry tree stood in -every garden (cherry trees are typical of South Russia), it was the -country of cherry trees, spotless houses and simple joys.</p> - -<p>The peasants were on the best of terms with my family, and they regarded -my grandmother Horvat as a beneficent deity who replaced the reed roofs -when they were destroyed by fire, and who supplied them with unlimited -quantities of fuel. They were quite contented, and my grandmother still -employed some of the peasants who had once been given to her as serfs. -In the old days, it was customary to include a few serfs in a bride’s -<i>corbeille</i>, and the ten peasants who had been chosen to accompany my -grandmother<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_17" id="page_17">{17}</a></span> to Revovka adored her. “People say that we were unhappy as -serfs,” they would often remark, “but we were always well looked -after—our landlord and our owner was also our father.”</p> - -<p>The peasant as master or mistress was invariably a tyrant, and I -remember hearing about a beautiful girl who had become the mistress of a -great nobleman, and who out-Heroded Herod in her arrogance. She employed -her family to do her laundry work, and she always insisted upon her -linen being rinsed in running water. If her petticoats were not -sufficiently starched, the whole batch of her relatives was flogged. -Personally, we did not resent the lack of starch, to this extent, but I -suppose that this family flogging may be regarded as typical of the -usual procedure of beggars on horseback!</p> - -<p>My grandmother, Mme Horvat, <i>née</i> Baroness Pilar, was the sweetest of -women, and I loved her with a child’s passionate devotion. She used to -tell me all kinds of stories, and our old nurse ably seconded her. -Whenever we walked by the river, and I exclaimed at the beauty of the -lilies, I was thrilled anew by hearing how, long ago, when the Tartar -hordes descended on Beletskovka, the women and children used to wade -into the water, and shelter under the broad green lily-leaves until the -marauders had passed. The peasants at Revovka were extremely -superstitious, and they believed implicitly in witches and warlocks. It -was common knowledge that certain women possessed tails and bewitched -the cows, and woe betide the widow who mourned her husband too much! He -would assuredly return in the likeness of a big snake, and make<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_18" id="page_18">{18}</a></span> an -unwelcome descent down the chimney. I was terribly scared by some of -these narratives, and I much preferred the pretty customs prevalent at -certain seasons, now vanished, alas! under the Bolshevik regime, since -the teaching of Lenin would seemingly only include the ritual of blood -in its category.</p> - -<p>I chiefly remember the quaint methods of divination practised on New -Year’s Eve, when the girls of the village went out to listen at the -closed doors, and those who heard a man’s name mentioned were certain to -marry within the year. They varied these proceedings by throwing their -slippers over their heads, to see if they fell in the shape of anything -that might be construed into an initial letter. Others preferred to try -and catch the rays of the moon in a towel; all pretty gay conceits, dear -to the heart of girlhood, and, on St. Catharine’s Day, cherry tree -branches were put in water, and, if the bare wood blossomed by Xmas, -then marriage bells were about to ring.</p> - -<p>Midsummer Day was sacred to the river, a survival doubtless of those -pagan customs which are so difficult to destroy. Large fires were -lighted along the river banks, and the village maidens, wearing wreaths, -leapt into the water, across the fires, and left the wreaths in the -river as an offering, perchance to the God of Streams. The next morning, -they set out to look for their wreaths, and those who were lucky enough -to find them discovered by the direction in which the wreath had been -washed up the way by which marriage would come.</p> - -<p>The storks brought luck, and they were<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_19" id="page_19">{19}</a></span> invited to sojourn with us by -means of wheels placed in the roofs on which they built their nests. The -solemn birds were family friends, and, whenever a baby stork fell from -its nest, everyone went to enormous trouble to put it back.</p> - -<p>My grandmother had a passion for embroidery, and she employed from ten -to fifteen girls constantly working for her. She believed that, as a -typical industry, the art of embroidery in South Russia ought to be -revived, and she spared no pains or expense over her hobby. She proved -conclusively that the progress of the nations from East to West had left -its traces even in embroidery patterns, as she often saw similar designs -in antique carpets and Venetian work.</p> - -<p>None of my grandmother’s embroideries was ever sold: whenever a piece -was finished, it was labelled with the date of its commencement and -completion, and packed away in great presses, already nearly full of -exquisite work. She presented a quantity of this embroidery to the Grand -Duchess Elizabeth, the Tsaritsa’s sister, when she was received into the -Greek Church. My grandmother had the honour of acting as godmother to -the Grand Duchess, and I believe her “christening” present was much -appreciated. The embroideries were really wonderful: the designs were -never drawn, the threads only were counted, and the pattern was evolved -in this painstaking manner. Some of my grandmother’s favourite designs -were taken from Easter eggs, which were first covered with pinked-out -wax, and colour inserted in them. Snow crystals formed another -inspiration; my grandmother never tired of utilising anything -decorative, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_20" id="page_20">{20}</a></span> she was unusually successful. I like to think of those -quiet days—the industrious girls, and the good feeling which existed -between the employer and the employed. It is difficult to realise that -the progress of Revolution has destroyed all this, that the great -presses have been broken open and their contents dispersed to the four -winds, and that to ask a peasant to pass her time profitably would be -accounted a sin.</p> - -<p>My grandmother, notwithstanding her patriarchal outlook, could be the -“grande dame” when occasion warranted, and my old nurse used to relate -how one of her neighbours, a certain Prince, came to ask her in -marriage. This gentleman believed in the impressiveness of pomp and -circumstance, so he arrived at Beletskovka in a carriage and six horses. -He was most courteously received—and refused—by my grandmother, and, -when he drove away, his horses, by some preconceived arrangement, cast -their shoes in the avenue. These “cast off” shoes were solid silver, a -mute testimony to his wealth, and, as he passed through the village, he -and his postillions distributed undreamt-of largesse. The Prince was a -haughty personage, who lived in a gorgeous mansion boasting fifty rooms. -He gave two balls yearly, when an orchestra was specially sent for from -Petrograd, a four days’ journey from his estate. But in the Prince’s -opinion nobody, save my grandmother and our family, was good enough to -associate (even as a dance partner) with him and his, so the balls were -rather tame affairs, a few couples only taking the floor, but those who -did were—like Cæsar’s wife—entirely above suspicion.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_21" id="page_21">{21}</a></span></p> - -<p>Silver horse-shoes, expensive orchestras, and other unconsidered trifles -cost money, and, as the male members of this super-aristocratic family -were all in Hussar regiments, financial ruin eventually came as an -uninvited and unwelcome guest: it closed the doors of the castle, the -orchestra came no more, and the ladies of the house sought refuge in an -institution for noble ladies of fallen fortunes!</p> - -<p>My great-aunt, the Baroness Nina Pilar, was a romantic figure in my -childhood’s memories, as her name conjured up the fascination which -surrounds those who breathe and have their being in the air of Courts. -She was Lady-in-Waiting to the Empress Marie, wife of Alexander II, and -she made her appearance at Court when she was sixteen, under the -auspices of Countess Tizenhausen (another great-aunt), Grande Maîtresse -de la Cour, who brought up Felix Soumarokoff, the grandfather of Prince -Felix Yousopoff. There was a great deal of gossip about the paternity of -old Soumarokoff, who had been confided, as a baby, to Countess -Tizenhausen by an intimate friend, but nobody was ever any the wiser, -and Soumarokoff’s antecedents remained an unsolved mystery.</p> - -<p>The Empress Marie loved Aunt Nina, and the Emperor was very kind to her -until my innocent relative was the victim of chance, and a <i>costumière</i>. -The Emperor had become infatuated with a certain Princess Dolgorouky, -and one day, when my aunt was walking on the Quai, looking especially -attractive in a new costume, she suddenly heard a voice addressing her -in most endearing terms. She turned sharply round, and found<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_22" id="page_22">{22}</a></span> to her -dismay that the voice was the voice of the Emperor! Explanations -followed, and my aunt discovered that Princess Dolgorouky possessed a -duplicate of her new costume, and, as their heights and figures were -similar, it was a case of mistaken identity.</p> - -<p>The Empress was almost always ill, but her Court was distinguished by -its elegance and refinement, and my aunt was one of the acknowledged -leaders of fashion.</p> - -<p>Like most pretty women, Aunt Nina had her love story, but she never -married. Her Prince Charming was the Grand Duke Nicholas, to whom she -was secretly engaged. But, when the Grand Duke asked the Emperor’s -permission to marry his inamorata, the Emperor, who had never forgiven -the contretemps on the Quai, refused his consent!</p> - -<p>The unhappy lovers met in Switzerland when Aunt Nina was in attendance -on the Empress, and there they bade each other farewell, and threw their -engagement rings into the lake. The Grand Duke never forgot his broken -romance, although he, like most lovers, eventually married someone else! -But he was present at my aunt’s funeral, and stood silently and -sorrowfully looking at the coffin which held many of the dreams and much -of the enchantment of his youth.</p> - -<p>Aunt Nina practically sacrificed her life to save that of the Empress, -although the latter died years later at Petrograd, when, it is asserted, -a luminous Cross appeared over the Winter Palace, typical of her -physical and mental sufferings.</p> - -<p>It so happened that when the Empress and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_23" id="page_23">{23}</a></span> my aunt were driving in -Switzerland, their carriage was run into by a cart, and, in order to -prevent one of the shafts from striking the Empress, my aunt stood up to -protect her, and was badly bruised in the chest. Some time afterwards -cancer developed, but my aunt survived her Imperial mistress, and became -Lady-in-Waiting to the Empress Dagmar, and Grande Maîtresse de la Cour -to the Grand Duchess Elizabeth. The Grand Duchess was very much attached -to her, and at her death she begged my grandmother to take her place. My -grandmother, for family reasons, declined the honour, but she often used -to visit the Grand Duchess and the Grand Duke Serge, and I remember -hearing her describe the pathetic figure presented by the Grand Duchess -after her husband’s assassination, when she had relinquished the -splendours of life and had become a nun at Moscow.</p> - -<p>My childhood was chiefly passed on my grandmother’s estates. We led a -somewhat patriarchal life at Revovka; a simple existence which will, I -fear, never again return, and it is exceedingly difficult for me, as a -Russian, to recognise the peasants of then and now. The average peasant -was kindly by nature, entirely ignorant, and excessively difficult to -educate. Whenever my grandmother tried to persuade her tenants to send -their children to school, the answer was always the same: “Knowing how -to read and write doesn’t provide food. Our parents got on very well -without education, our sons can do likewise.” Their faith in the -aristocratic class was boundless, they entirely depended on their -landlords, but the Russian<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_24" id="page_24">{24}</a></span> peasant has always, unfortunately for -himself, been easily influenced by speeches and printed matter—hence -the complete success of the Revolutionary Propaganda, and the belief in -many of the false statements circulated in order to damage the Imperial -family in the eyes of the people. I cannot defend our own attitude in -not attempting to combat this danger; we were aware that it existed, but -only one section, known as the Black Band, tried to destroy it by -counter propaganda. Its efforts were unsuccessful, it received no -support, for the very good reason that <i>nobody believed that the masses -would rise</i>. The Russian aristocrat, secure in his class prejudices, and -his optimistic faith in <i>himself</i>, was as loth as the French aristocrat -of 1789 to realise that his position was, or could ever be, insecure!</p> - -<p>The South Russian peasant, as I knew him, was a poetical, simple soul. -After dinner we often used to watch the men turning their horses into -our meadows for safety, and securing the animals’ legs with chains, in -order to prevent any inclination to roam. They invariably sang whilst -making these nightly preparations, and they danced afterwards in the -bright moonlight which flooded meadows and woodland with a white -radiance. They had many quaint customs at Revovka, which may not be -uninteresting to English readers who only know the Russia of to-day as a -strange and poisonous growth, and not as the orchid which had its home -in the eternal snows—a curious simile, perhaps, but in my mind a -correct one. Our country, in many respects, was an exotic growth; -super-refinement walked cheek by jowl with ignorance, and an<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_25" id="page_25">{25}</a></span> almost -oriental luxury brushed the skirts of poverty. It was a land of extreme -contrasts, where emotions and passions either ran riot or else were -suppressed to an undreamt-of extent.</p> - -<p>It was almost inconceivable at one time that the family coachman, who -obstinately turned his horses’ heads in the direction of home because he -met a white dog in the road, could ever become the Bolshevik who would -have murdered his employers instead of protecting them from the bad luck -attendant on the unwelcome animal!</p> - -<p>I must admit that my grandmother was as superstitious as her coachman. -She believed implicitly in dreams, and an old woman from the village was -always sent for to expound the more exciting ones. I remember that one -of her dreams had a disastrous sequel, inasmuch as it involved the -dismissal of a very devoted servant who, my grandmother dreamt, had -attempted to kill her. She resolutely declined to see him again, and he -was sent away to another estate. I supposed she was influenced in this -by the knowledge that, on several occasions, she had “dreamed true.”</p> - -<p>Our peasants confided all their joys and sorrows in my grandmother, and, -when any of them married, we were always invited to the wedding. This -invitation was issued on set lines; the bride-to-be, dressed in full -national costume, plentifully bedecked with flowers and ribbons, came -with her bridesmaid to the servants’ sitting-room, where she was -received by my grandmother. The girl thereupon knelt, and bowed three -times, informing my relation what an honour our presence would confer on -her<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_26" id="page_26">{26}</a></span> family, and, gratified by the assurance that we would promise to -come, she withdrew, all smiles! After the ceremony, which always took -place on a Sunday, the whole of the wedding party came back to our house -and assembled on the terrace, where a village orchestra discoursed -strange sweet sounds, and where unwearied dancing enlivened the music -and singing. We always gave one kind of present—a cow! When I married, -our employees surpassed themselves and gave me, not a cow, but two oxen!</p> - -<p>We fasted on Christmas Eve until the first star appeared, when we -partook of a heavy supper of which the fifteen courses always included -fish. Hay was strewn under the tablecloth to remind us of the humility -of the Manger, and it was customary for the children to carry the -Christmas supper to their friends and relations. All the windows of the -Chateau were darkened, but one was left open, and, when the first star -appeared in the serene sky, this window was illuminated in honour of the -Christ-Child. It was then that the children arrived “en masse,” carrying -revolving paper transparencies adorned with pictures of Christ; it was -one illuminated stream of little children, and one of the prettiest -sights imaginable.</p> - -<p>New Year’s Day was an occasion for general rejoicing, when the men of -the village assembled on the terrace to congratulate us, throwing wheat -in our pathway as a sign of prosperity. We then witnessed the procession -of our servants, who filed past us, accompanied by their special -charges. First, came the stablemen leading the horses, who, in addition -to being superlatively<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_27" id="page_27">{27}</a></span> well-groomed, were adorned with gilt crowns and -many ribbons. Then came the herdsmen with their grave-eyed steers, whose -horns were gilded in honour of the New Year; the sheep were accompanied -by the shepherds, and the cortège was terminated by the poultry maid, -who escorted a turkey smothered in ribbons.</p> - -<p>On the first New Year’s Day after the Revolution, the crowd came to the -Chateau as usual, but there was no procession of animals, no smiling -faces, and no wheat-strewn pathway. We were confronted by scowling -peasants, who roughly informed us that henceforth nothing belonged to -us, since they were masters. But to do our own people justice, the -better minded amongst them absented themselves, and only the worst -characters were in evidence—and these, in their turn, were under the -evil influences rampant in towns. I have no hesitation in stating that -the motive power in the destruction of Russia emanated, and still -emanates, from the Jews.</p> - -<p>When the snows began to melt, the children and young people heralded the -approach of Spring with song. Joining hands, they wandered singing in -the twilight, a lovely, living chain of Youth in its Spring-time. They -repeated these songs at Easter, that wonderful festival of Resurrection -and the rebirth of Nature. On Holy Thursday the Gospels were read in the -churches until midnight, and everyone carried a taper. My mother’s -estates were situated in the mountains, and it was a picturesque sight -when the peasants wended their way churchwards at Easter. The church was -half-way up a steep ascent, and the procession of taper-bearers could be -traced<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_28" id="page_28">{28}</a></span> by hundreds of lights, as two villages participated in the -ceremony.</p> - -<p>Revovka was an entrancing home for a child blessed, as I was, with an -imaginative temperament. We had our particular White Lady, a tragic -phantom who haunted the Park, and who used to swing in the branches of -the lime trees. She had been the mistress of one of my great-uncles, and -she was buried in the Park. No one seemed to know her fate, but it was -said that she was beautiful and unhappy. Her grave was marked with a -flat stone, without any inscription, as the poor little creature had -sought refuge from love and life in self-destruction. But Nature was -kinder to her than Man, and an enormous bush of wild roses threw out -caressing arms towards the cold stones, and showered pink petal-tears on -the unhonoured dead.</p> - -<p>There was a similar forgotten grave on my father’s property, formerly a -hunting-box of the Kings of Poland. The occupant of this grave had been -the mistress of a king, and, like the beauty of Revovka, she had killed -herself; but she was a restless spirit, and she used to haunt the Park -and the house in the summer, running swiftly across the greensward, -wearing little scarlet slippers and darting up the staircase, her -scarlet heels tap-tapping as she went her way, unsubstantial and -fantastic as the morning mist.</p> - -<p>I used to dream all kinds of dreams, but I never anticipated what -Destiny held in store for me. I was, by nature, timid; I was to become -courageous through force of another’s shining example. I was to see and -experience the real meaning of selfless love, and I was to know the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_29" id="page_29">{29}</a></span> -comfort and beauty of religion. I do not say that I was irreligious—few -Russians are really irreligious—our Belief is too deeply rooted—but I -did not yet understand the meaning of the word Faith.</p> - -<p>I always looked forward to our yearly pilgrimage to the Convent of -Tchigrin, twenty-five miles away from Revovka. Custom ordained that we -should proceed thither on foot, but the carriage invariably went with -us! The convent contained a miraculous Virgin which, when the Turks -pillaged Tchigrin, had been taken away by them. One day a disconsolate -nun walking on the river’s bank saw something floating on the surface of -the water. The Virgin had returned to her convent, and from that time it -became the scene of wonderful miracles, and many pilgrimages. I liked -Tchigrin; it breathed an atmosphere of calm, standing alone in the midst -of dense pine woods. But the wind, which respects neither convents nor -humanity, was occasionally unkind to Tchigrin, as it swept away the sand -which filled the crevices of the walls, almost like natural mortar, and -the nuns daily brought bags of sand wherewith to repair the damage. This -sand-carrying was an especial duty connected with Tchigrin, and -occasionally it was a penance—but I think those simple creatures rarely -deserved punishment.</p> - -<p>I have perhaps devoted too much time to the festivals, ghosts and -unexciting incidents of a country life. But I have done this in order to -explain many subsequent happenings which would be otherwise -incomprehensible to an English public. These events cannot, and must -not, be judged entirely from an English standpoint. We<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_30" id="page_30">{30}</a></span> are a race -apart, our country is one of extreme mysticism and superstition. It is a -land of miracles, where the holy pictures are believed to shed tears, -and where every village possesses its seer and its saint. It would be -possible to cover the length and breadth of England in a week’s motoring -tour, thus England is of necessity more circumscribed. One could not see -Russia in such a manner. It is a country of vast distances, of densely -populated cities, and lonely tracts which extend for thousands of miles. -You cannot contrast the mode of life prevalent at Tooting with that of -Tobolsk, or compare the customs of Moscow with those of Manchester. Our -upbringing is entirely un-English. True, we are citizens of the world, -we are indeed cosmopolitan, but—once a Russian, always a Russian. The -Tsaritsa told me that, when she first came to Russia, she was greatly -surprised to find that Russian servants did not understand the art of -blackleading grates. She had always been accustomed to see shining -grates in England when she stayed with her grandmother at Windsor—in -Petrograd, shining grates were non-existent. We are miles apart from -English ways in little things like these, and no Englishwoman worthy of -the name has ever been known to be ignorant of the use of blacklead. But -<i>we</i> ought not to be condemned for the non-recognition of its virtue. It -is merely a question of outlook. In connection with these differences of -outlook, I cannot do better than quote the words of a contributor to the -“Daily Mail”; they will plead for my opinions, as the writer possesses -the peculiar gift of racial and temperamental understanding:<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_31" id="page_31">{31}</a></span></p> - -<p>“We have,” he writes, “in England a cold fish-minded way of affecting to -laugh at what we are prone to call local superstition. Let me tell you -that this point of view will not work in Africa.” (He is dealing, I -fancy, with Morocco.) “What is obviously a childish hallucination in -Hampstead or Newcastle is sober reality under this immense blue sky. You -can disbelieve a lot of truths you do not understand as you strap-hang -homewards, but you will learn to believe everything in Africa.”</p> - -<p>Might not this also apply to Russia?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_32" id="page_32">{32}</a></span></p> - -<h3><a name="CHAPTER_II-a" id="CHAPTER_II-a"></a>CHAPTER II</h3> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">My</span> childhood and early girlhood were passed quietly at Revovka and the -Crimea. But I loved Revovka, and, whenever I went to stay with my uncle -at Livadia, I took with me a little earth from the place which, to me, -represented home. The great event at Revovka was the visit of my uncle -Horvat, who came from Siberia to see my grandmother once a year. He was -head of the Siberian railways, and occupied a political position which -corresponded with that of a Viceroy of Ireland. He was a typical Horvat, -tall, with deep, kind eyes, and he was also a very clever man. On the -night of his arrival I never went to bed, and I remember that we saw the -dawn together; he did not reach Revovka until 3 a.m. It was touching to -witness his meeting with my grandmother. They were entirely “en -rapport,” and he was my greatest friend as well as my much loved uncle.</p> - -<p>I never went to school. My first tutor was a priest, but, as I hardly -knew Russian (we always spoke French at home) and he knew no French, I -made little progress; afterwards Miss Ripe, an English governess, took -me in hand, but I think she looked upon us as very much behind the -times. The old house was protected at night by a watchman, and I -regarded his intermittent coughing and his heavy tread somewhat as a -lullaby.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_33" id="page_33">{33}</a></span> Whenever he went to the next town by boat, the watchman -“called” my grandmother’s maid in a very curious manner. He was an -illiterate peasant, and time, as time, conveyed no meaning to him, so he -would occasionally tap on the maid’s window and tell her that such and -such a star was in the sky. By this simple calculation she was enabled -to judge how much longer it was permissible for her to remain in bed.</p> - -<p>Winter was a delightful season at Revovka, and I always wanted to be -decorative, and drive out in the antique sledges which were painted with -trails of flowers, and magnificently gilded. The modern sledges, covered -with carpet, and piled up with bear skins, were not nearly so pretty. -English people always associate sledges with wolves, and imagine that a -winter’s drive in Russia is fraught with desperate danger. The wolf -terror is fast becoming a legend; wolves are now only found in districts -far from the haunts of men, although an old custom at Revovka ordained -that lanterns were hung outside the stables at night to scare away the -wolves! But I met a wolf unawares one evening when I was crossing the -park. I had never seen one of our national animals face to face, so I -thought that the big grey creature was a dog. I called it, and ran -towards it, desirous of its better acquaintance, but it merely regarded -me with furtive, unfriendly, green eyes, and then turned and trotted -away in the opposite direction. When I reached the house, I described my -encounter with the strange dog, but, greatly to my surprise, my story -produced general excitement, and a search-party set forth to look for -the foot-prints in the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_34" id="page_34">{34}</a></span> snow. These proved to be typical wolf marks, -exactly like the print of a thumb, but our visitor had, by this time, -completely disappeared.</p> - -<p>When I was a young girl the disaffection in Russia was already well on -the way to Revolution. In 1905, when I was staying with one of my uncles -in Livadia who had charge of the Emperor’s estates at Yalta, we were not -left long in ignorance as to the methods which were employed by the -Revolutionary Agents. It is now well known that most of the seeds of -Revolution were sown at Yalta, but it was dreadful to see the boats -smothered in red flags and to hear the Marseillaise sung defiantly from -the water, since my uncle had prohibited all political meetings on land. -One day, it was discovered that the golden eagles which marked the -boundaries of the Emperor’s estate had been broken and overthrown, but -this act of vandalism was always attributed to the Jews and the more -hot-headed of the students. There was general excitement in the Crimea -at this time, and a few of the Revolutionary printing presses were -secretly set up at the Grand Duke Constantine’s Castle of Orianda, which -for some reason had fallen into decay. It had always been my ambition to -visit the ruins of Orianda, so one day I persuaded my cousins to -accompany me thither. It was a forbidden expedition, but we considered -the possible results of our disobedience would be amply compensated for -by the mysteries of the underground passages, which we at once began to -explore. As we neared the end of one of these the sound of distant -voices broke the stillness, and, terrified out of our wits, we did not -know whether to beat a retreat or to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_35" id="page_35">{35}</a></span> dare all and discover whence the -sound proceeded. Curiosity eventually conquered cowardice, and we crept -cautiously along until the darkness was lit up by a glow of a large -fire. Thinking that we had now reached the entrance to the infernal -regions we turned and fled precipitately, and, risking punishment, -described the whereabouts of Hell to my uncle. And Hell, in a way, it -proved to be, as it was discovered that secret printing presses existed -underground, and that most of the evil propaganda had emanated from -Orianda.</p> - -<p>Although the Jews instigated much of the prevalent sedition, the biter -was occasionally bit, and in 1905 there was serious trouble. Many people -assert that the actual Revolution began by beating the Jews, as some of -the soldiers returning from the war became very unruly, and set about -the Jews most unmercifully.</p> - -<p>My mother, who had married as her second husband an officer in a -regiment stationed near us, received news of the trouble just at the -moment when we were starting to drive into town. But she rather -pooh-poohed the warning, until she saw for herself that the report was -not exaggerated. We first encountered people fleeing through the fields, -and, when at last we reached civilisation, we found the town in a state -of confusion. Windows were broken, Jewish shops pillaged, and the -leaders, regardless of the protesting Hebrews, seized their goods and -distributed them broadcast to the mob. The black and white praying robes -peculiar to the Jews were in special request, as pieces of these, worn -next to the skin, were supposed to render the wearer immune from marsh -fever.</p> - -<p>Next day, when I was walking in the Park, I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_36" id="page_36">{36}</a></span> found myself close to the -walled-in right of way which traversed it, and, to my surprise and -horror, I heard the passers-by giving vent to most undreamt-of -declarations. “It’s the Jews <i>now</i>,” said someone, uttering a curse, -“but wait until the next time. We have our orders: soon it will be the -turn of the landed proprietors!”</p> - -<p>The speaker spoke the truth. Some days later fires and pillage broke out -around my home, and, from the terrace at Revovka, we could see an ever -widening circle of flame, and our peasants informed us that, most -assuredly, Revovka would suffer next. But we escaped, although the house -of Madame Tchebotaiff, a great landowner and Revolutionist, was one of -the first to be destroyed. She was afterwards sent to Siberia, a rather -ironical form of justice, I am inclined to think!</p> - -<p>When all was calm, the Duma came into existence, in which -representatives of every class met in Parliament for the first time. -Troops were sent to punish the peasants, and many of them were flogged -by the soldiers. Our peasants were not included amongst the offenders. -The idea of whipping human beings was repellent to me, and, girl though -I was, I felt that we, as a class, were responsible for the existence of -many evils, and that it lay with us to try and remedy them. But whipping -was applied to the guilty as the most effectual and the most easily -understood antidote against rebellion: it is a barbarous punishment—in -English eyes it must seem <i>utterly</i> so; but these whippings were as -naught compared with the savagery and super-refinement of torture -inflicted later by the whipped upon the whippers.</p> - -<p>But my attention was soon to be diverted from<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_37" id="page_37">{37}</a></span> rebellion and punishment. -Shortly afterwards I went with my grandmother to Petrograd, where my -marriage was arranged; in fact, I was already engaged when I was -presented at Court. My fiancé was Captain Charles Dehn, of Swedish -descent, whose ancestors had come into the northern provinces at the -time of the Crusades, and the members of whose family were mostly -generals or officers in the service of the State. Captain Dehn had taken -part in quelling the Boxer Rebellion, and at the siege of Pekin he was -the first officer to scale the walls of the Forbidden City in defence of -the embassies. For this service he received the Order of St. George (the -Russian Victoria Cross), and the Order of the Legion of Honour was -awarded him by the ambassadors of the various nations represented in -Pekin.</p> - -<p>On his arrival at Petrograd he was presented to the Emperor, who -appointed him an officer on the “Standart,” and an officer of the Mixed -Guard, whose members were chosen from various regiments, and many of -whom were honoured by the personal friendship of the Emperor.</p> - -<p>Captain Dehn was a great favourite with the little Tsarevitch and the -Grand Duchesses, and he used to play with them in their nurseries, his -nickname with the children being “Pekin Dehn.” Both the Emperor and the -Empress manifested the greatest interest in his engagement, and the -Empress intimated to my grandmother that she wished to make my personal -acquaintance.</p> - -<p>My engagement was formally announced in 1907, but we waited in Petrograd -for a month before we were received by the Empress. The Grand Duchess -Anastasie was ill with diphtheria,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_38" id="page_38">{38}</a></span> and the Empress was nursing her at -the Alexandria Palace, Peterhof, where, until all danger of infection -had passed, she had isolated herself from the other members of the -Imperial family.</p> - -<p>How well I remember that first meeting with one whom I was to love so -devotedly, and whose constant friendship has been one of my greatest -joys. One summer morning in July, my grandmother and I arrived at the -station at Peterhof, where my fiancé and a Court carriage were awaiting -us. I was literally trembling with terror, and I was too excited to even -notice Charles!</p> - -<p>We duly reached the Alexandria Palace, but, as the Empress was still -nervous about infection, it had been arranged that my presentation -should take place in the Winter Garden attached to the Palace. We were -received at the Palace by the Mistress of the Household, Princess -Golitzin, who was exactly like an old picture, and whose adherence to -regime made everyone dread being guilty of the smallest lapse of -etiquette. But she was very kind and gracious to us, and I felt somehow -that my simple white gown from Bressac’s, and my rose-trimmed hat had -met with her approval. As we walked through the Park to the Winter -Garden I noticed a lady in one of the avenues, who stopped and looked at -me intently. She was “petite,” with an innocent baby face, and great -appealing eyes, and so childish-looking in fact that she seemed only fit -for boarding school. This lady was Anna Virouboff whose name was later -to become associated with that of Rasputin, and whose friendship with -the Empress has given rise to so many unwarrantable statements and -scandalous stories.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_39" id="page_39">{39}</a></span></p> - -<p>I returned her scrutiny with interest, and we passed on with the -Princess to the Winter Garden, a lovely tropical place, full of flowers -and palms. It was exactly like a Garden of Dreams, at least I thought so -until I saw the prosaically comfortable garden chairs, and noticed some -toys and a child’s dolls’-house. Then I decided that this beautiful -garden must be real!</p> - -<p>At last, advancing slowly through the masses of greenery, came a tall -and slender figure. It was the Empress! I looked at her, admiration in -my heart and in my eyes. I had never imagined her half so fair. And I -shall never forget her beauty as I saw her on that July morning, -although the Empress of many sorrows remains with me more as a pathetic -and holy memory.</p> - -<p>The Empress was dressed entirely in white, with a thin white veil draped -round her hat. Her complexion was delicately fair, but when she was -excited her cheeks were suffused with a faint rose flush. Her hair was -reddish gold, her eyes—those infinitely tragic eyes—were dark blue, -and her figure was as supple as a willow wand. I remember that her -pearls were magnificent, and that diamond ear-rings flashed coloured -fires whenever she moved her head. She wore a simple little ring bearing -the emblem of the Swastika, her favourite symbol, and one which has -given rise to so many conjectures, and been quoted triumphantly as proof -positive of her leanings towards the occult by those who are ignorant of -what it really meant to her.</p> - -<p>Directly Princess Golitzin had left us alone, the Empress extended her -hand for my grandmother and me to kiss; then, with a sweet smile,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_40" id="page_40">{40}</a></span> and a -world of kindness in her eyes, “Sit down,” she said, and, turning to -Captain Dehn: “When is the marriage to take place?” she enquired.</p> - -<p>My nervousness had vanished. I was no longer afraid; in fact it was the -Empress who seemed shy, but she was, I found later, always shy with -strangers, a trait peculiar to her and to her cousin, the Princess -Royal, Duchess of Fife. However, this excessive shyness was not -accounted as shyness in Petrograd, it was called German -superciliousness! and as such it has even been described by some English -writers.</p> - -<p>The Empress talked to my grandmother for quite a long time, as she was -anxious to hear the latest news of the Grand Duchess Elizabeth; she then -chatted to my fiancé, and I noticed that she spoke Russian with a strong -English accent. She afterwards addressed me as the blushing heroine of -the morning, and she seemed quite pleased at the interest which I had -displayed in the dolls’-house.</p> - -<p>“Where are you going to spend your honeymoon?” she said, her blue eyes -now mischievous. We told her. “Ah!... I do hope that I shall see you -again very soon. I am quite alone, I cannot see my husband or my -children, I shall be so glad when this tiresome quarantine is over, and -we can be together again.”</p> - -<p>Our interview lasted well over half an hour. The Empress spoke French to -my grandmother and me, she made no attempt to converse in German; then -she rose to say good-bye, and we kissed hands. “I shall see you again -very soon,” she repeated. “Be sure you let me know when you return.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_41" id="page_41">{41}</a></span>”</p> - -<p>I went back to Petrograd almost beside myself with happiness. Mine was -not the worldly pleasure of one who had been presented to an Empress. My -happiness had its origin in another source. I felt instinctively that I -had found a friend, someone I could love, and who, I dared hope, might -love me! I was so tired out with my emotions that, on arriving home, I -threw myself on my bed, regardless of my Bressac dress and my -rose-wreathed hat, and I slept the sleep of exhaustion until four in the -afternoon.</p> - -<p>I was married two months later from my aunt’s house in Livadia.</p> - -<p>The Emperor received Captain Dehn before he left for the Crimea, blessed -him, and gave him a beautiful ikon in a carved silver and gold frame. -The Empress also presented him with an ikon, and, on our wedding day, we -received a “wireless” from them, wishing us every happiness. This -“wireless,” so we heard afterwards, caused endless talk and many petty -jealousies, as “wireless,” then in its infancy, was only supposed to be -used for important official communications.</p> - -<p>We went to the Caucasus for our honeymoon and stayed three weeks in the -mountains among the vines. It was the season of Autumn, and he had cast -his flaming many-coloured mantle over everything. The wildness and -luxuriance of that mountain region entranced me. I insisted upon being -told all the legends connected with the locality, and I believed, with -the peasants, that it was possible to hear the hoofs of the Centaurs, as -they thundered down the passes in the silence of night. Gagree was an -ideal place for a honeymoon, and I was actually sorry to return to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_42" id="page_42">{42}</a></span> my -beloved Revovka, although we received a right royal welcome from my -grandmother and her tenants.</p> - -<p>Revovka was fifteen miles from the nearest railway station, but the -whole of the way to our estate was illuminated with blazing tar barrels, -and at every turn of the road we were offered bread and salt. Needless -to say, the drive was a little protracted, and the <i>pièce de résistance</i> -consisted in the two oxen which were presented to us at the journey’s -end.</p> - -<p>My married life began under the most auspicious circumstances. Charles -had promised me that he would always remain in the Emperor’s Personal -Guard, and I possessed a subconscious intuition that my future was to be -closely connected with that of the Imperial family. This feeling did not -arise from any worldly outlook, I never had any idea of the material -benefits which might accrue to us through the Emperor’s regard for my -husband. My first meeting with the Empress had influenced me in an -undreamt-of manner. Although I felt it was ridiculous to associate any -idea of sorrow with that radiant vision of the Winter Garden, I had, -nevertheless, a strong feeling of fatality in connection with her. Time -was destined to prove that my presentiment was right.</p> - -<p>Our first home was in the Anitchkoff Palace, the residence of the -Dowager Empress Marie, where the Guards had their quarters, but -afterwards we moved to Tsarkoe Selo. Our house was immediately opposite -the Palace, and close to the barracks. The officers of the Personal -Guard were most picturesque individuals, since each<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_43" id="page_43">{43}</a></span> wore the uniform of -the regiment from which he had been selected. There was no distinctive -uniform; to be a member of the Guard was, in itself, an honour.</p> - -<p>I used often to walk in the great Park of Tsarkoe Selo when my husband -was on duty. The Palace dates from the time of Catherine the Great, and -all the important receptions were held there. The Imperial family lived -in the Alexander Palace, a white building in the style of the First -Empire; the Palace had four entrances, the first was exclusively used by -Their Majesties, two others were used for receptions, and the fourth was -the entrance by which the Suite went to and fro. The Palace was entirely -surrounded by the Park, in which was some beautiful ornamental water, a -Chinese pavilion, and a bridge which connected the smaller park with -that of the more important Palace.</p> - -<p>As a young married woman, blessed with many kind relations and friends, -it was not long before I took my place in Petrograd society. In 1907, -one year after the Japanese war, life was not gay as many families were -still in mourning, so those who looked for Court gaieties were -disappointed—none being forthcoming. The Empress felt that the war was -of too recent a date to warrant much entertaining; she was entirely -sincere in this conviction, but her attitude did not meet with general -approval. It was argued by the anti-Tsaritsa clique that an Empress of -Russia belonged to Society, and not to herself. Her duty was merely to -pose as a magnificent figure-head on the barque of pleasure—the war was -over, and the world of Society wanted its<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_44" id="page_44">{44}</a></span> ceaseless round of empty -pleasures once again.</p> - -<p>Petrograd Society was divided into many sets; each Grand Ducal Court had -its own particular clique, and that of the Grand Duchess Marie, wife of -the Grand Duke Vladimir, was perhaps specially joyous. The Grand Dukes, -taken as a whole, led amusing lives; they were usually very handsome -men—quite heroes of romance, many of them possessing a great admiration -for the Imperial Ballet, in which they had various fair friends.</p> - -<p>It was an expensive existence even in 1907, when Petrograd was supposed -to be dull! People went every Sunday to the Ballet, and on Saturdays to -the Théatre Français—this, a most fashionable rendezvous, where -extremely decolleté toilettes were compensated for by an abundance of -jewels! After the play, it was customary to adjourn to the Restaurant -Cuba, or to that of L’ours, where a wonderful Roumanian orchestra -enlivened supper; nobody thought of leaving the restaurants until three -in the morning, and the officers usually remained until five! -Occasionally, when I returned home in the early hours, I contrasted the -dawn at Revovka with that of Petrograd; the same pearl, rose and silver -tints painted the sky, but the dawn in South Russia witnessed no flight -of human butterflies whose wings had been singed in the flame of -pleasure. I was young enough to enjoy life, but at times our restless -gaiety seemed to hold a hidden menace.</p> - -<p>English was the medium of conversation in Society at Petrograd; it was -invariably spoken at Court, and, although once fashionable to have -German nurses, the fashion in 1907 was to have<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_45" id="page_45">{45}</a></span> only English ones, and -many Russians who could not speak English spoke French with an English -accent! The great shopping centre was “Druce’s” where one met one’s -friends, and bought English soaps, perfumery and dresses. The “Druce -habit” primarily emanated from Court where everything English was in -special favour—Jewish Society and that of the “haute finance” existed -in Petrograd, but neither touched us.</p> - -<p>The great enlivenments of the Season after the Japanese war were the -Charity Bazaars. The Grand Duchess Marie always organised one in the -Assemblée de la Noblesse, a huge building where an ultra-smart throng of -Society leaders sold all kinds of pretty and expensive trifles. The -Grand Duchess Marie (who was a German Princess) occupied the centre of -the room, and sold at her own table. She was a tall, striking-looking -woman, but not so handsome as the Grand Duchess Cyril at whose table I -occasionally assisted. All the Grand Duchesses had tables, as was the -case with the greater and lesser lights of Society. In fact the position -of one’s table was the index to one’s position in Society. The bazaars -were brilliant functions, the toilettes were wonderful, and it was quite -the usual thing to change one’s gown three times during the day. The air -was heavy with perfume, flowers were lavishly displayed, and the tired -vendors occasionally refreshed themselves with the best brands of -champagne.</p> - -<p>The Empress had her own table at the Assemblée de la Noblesse, and I -sold at it once. She made quantities of things herself, instead of -sending haphazard orders to Paris or London.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_46" id="page_46">{46}</a></span> The homely intimacy of her -nature was very evident in this habit, nothing at her table was useless; -she was true to type, the type of Queen Victoria’s descendants, the -Empress shared Queen Mary of England’s love for needlework, and, like -her, crocheted many pretty “woollies” for bazaars.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_47" id="page_47">{47}</a></span></p> - -<h3><a name="CHAPTER_III-a" id="CHAPTER_III-a"></a>CHAPTER III</h3> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Almost</span> immediately after my arrival at Tsarkoe Selo, I made the -acquaintance of Anna Virouboff, the Lady of the Avenue, and my distant -cousin, as her grandfather and my grandmother were related.</p> - -<p>It is exceedingly difficult for me to discuss Anna Virouboff, as I am -confronted with the tremendous prejudice which exists against her. In -England she appears to be a Borgia-like heroine of the films, an -hysterical sensualist, the mistress of Rasputin, and the evil genius of -the Empress. Her political power is supposed to have been that of a -Sarah Jennings and a Catherine Dashkoff, and her influence at Court -paramount.</p> - -<p>If I deny these charges, I shall lay myself open to the accusation of -blind partisanship, and I shall be deemed an utterly untrustworthy -chronicler; but, notwithstanding these possibilities, I can do no less -than speak of Anna Virouboff as I knew her from 1907 until the day in -March, 1917, when we were both removed from Tsarkoe Selo by order of -Kerensky.</p> - -<p>Anna’s father, General Tanief, was Honorary Secretary of State, and all -her family were connected with officers in the Imperial House. She -married the same year as myself, but before her marriage she was deeply -in love with General Orloff, who commanded the Lancers, and who was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_48" id="page_48">{48}</a></span> a -great friend of the Empress. Rightly or wrongly, Her Majesty thought -that General Orloff would be too old a husband for Anna, and, although -the General loved her, and desired nothing better than to marry her, -Anna yielded her will to that of the Empress, and accepted Lieutenant -Virouboff, to whom she was married in the Palace Chapel at Tsarkoe Selo. -The union turned out a complete failure, and I believe that the -Empress’s original interest in Anna was intensified by the fact that she -was indirectly responsible for this unhappy marriage. The Empress -accepted what she considered to be her responsibilities very seriously, -as her salient characteristics were thoroughness and a fine sense of -justice. It was not difficult for her to show more kindness to one whom -she already loved, and whose unhappiness was now so poignant. Anna was -one of those beings who always look as if someone has hurt them; one -wanted to “mother” Anna, to amuse her, to hear her confidences, and to -laugh at her exaggerated joys and sorrows.</p> - -<p>In appearance, Anna is a person entirely different from the Anna -Virouboff of the films and the novel, and she even dares to differ from -more serious descriptions of her. She is of middle height, with brownish -hair, large, appealing, long-lashed, grey-blue eyes, and a little -turned-up nose. She has a baby face, all pink and white, and, alas for -the Vampire the Anna of romance, she was then very fat. But her smile -was charming, and her mouth pretty; she was weak as water, as clinging -as the most obstinate ivy, and the Empress treated her much in the way -that one treats a helpless child. Anna was</p> - -<p><a name="ill_2" id="ill_2"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<a href="images/ill_002_lg.jpg"> -<img src="images/ill_002.jpg" width="337" height="486" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a> -<div class="caption"><p>ANNA (‘ANIA’) VIROUBOFF</p></div> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_49" id="page_49">{49}</a></span></p> - -<p class="nind">excessively good-natured, always ready to help others, in whom she was -never able to see evil. This virtue (for I suppose it is accounted a -virtue) was the ultimate downfall of Anna. She was too credulous, and, -therefore, too easily imposed on. She adored the Imperial Family with -the devotion of an adherent of the Stuarts, but—and now I am about to -make a statement which will be probably treated with derision—<i>she -possessed no political influence whatever</i>; she could not influence the -Empress one hair’s breadth; the Empress petted her, teased her, and -scolded her, but she never sought Anna’s advice, save in questions of -charity.</p> - -<p>The Empress and her former Lady-in-Waiting were, however, one where -religion was concerned; they shared the same religious sympathies in the -midst of an unsympathetic and jealous entourage, and, as Anna did not -get on well with the entourage, this fact gave the Empress an additional -reason to protect her friend. Anna told me that some of the -Ladies-in-Waiting disliked the Empress solely on account of her -friendship with her, and, although she had told the Empress that, were -she given an official position, all jealousies and comments would be -silenced, the Empress had refused to entertain the suggestion.</p> - -<p>Later on, when I became on intimate terms with the Empress, she gave me -the reason for her refusal.</p> - -<p>“I will never give Anna an official position,” she said. “She is my -friend, I wish to retain her as such. Surely an Empress is allowed the -right of a woman to choose her friends. I assure you,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_50" id="page_50">{50}</a></span> Lili, I value my -few real friends more than many of the persons in my entourage.”</p> - -<p>Four years after her marriage, Anna met with a train accident. She never -again walked without crutches, her body was completely deformed, but -even then slander did not spare her, and evil tongues in Petrograd -asserted that, as well as being the friend of the Empress, Anna -Virouboff was the mistress of the Emperor!! After her accident, the -Empress gave Anna a carriage and pair, and often drove out with her. She -lived in a pretty little house which had once belonged to Alexander I, -and she usually lunched at home, after spending the morning at the -Palace. “The children” liked her, everyone who really knew her liked -her, and the best proof of her absolute harmlessness lies in the fact -that after the Revolution she was never condemned to death. Surely, if -she had been such an evil creature, the first action of those in -authority would have been to destroy her? But Anna Virouboff lives, and -perhaps one day she will defend herself.</p> - -<p>One Monday, shortly after my marriage, I received a note from Anna, -asking me to dine with her that evening. Captain Dehn had been in -Petrograd for several days, and, as I was rather lonely, I was glad to -accept. The dinner was very gay, several officers had been invited, and -Emma Fredericks, the daughter of the Minister of the Court, was also a -guest. At half-past nine, we heard the sound of wheels, and a carriage -stopped outside the house. Anna instantly left the salon, and, a few -minutes after, the door opened, and, to our great astonishment, the -Emperor, the Empress and the Grand Duchesses entered. They<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_51" id="page_51">{51}</a></span> were all -laughing, as this surprise visit had been arranged by the Empress, who, -seating herself, told us to do likewise, and motioned me to come to her.</p> - -<p>“I told you that I should see you again very soon,” she said, smiling, -and thereupon she began to talk in the most friendly and simple manner.</p> - -<p>Once again I had that curious, inexplicable foreboding of tragedy, but -no tragedy lurked in that bright, gay room, and my gloomy thoughts were -soon dispelled when I was presented to the Emperor.</p> - -<p>This was the first occasion on which I had spoken to His Majesty, and I -found him as charming and friendly as the Empress. His kind eyes, and -his smile, struck me at once, he seemed to move in an aura of goodwill, -and his peculiar fascinating charm of manner has been admitted even by -his enemies, as M. Kerensky acknowledged that the Emperor possessed one -of the noblest natures he ever met!</p> - -<p>The Emperor, who bore a striking likeness to his cousin, King George of -England, was a very amusing conversationalist, and blessed with a keen -sense of humour. He instantly put me at my ease, and I made the -acquaintance also of the Grand Duchesses, then quite girls, with whom I -was later to become on terms of the closest friendship.</p> - -<p>The Empress, having expressed a wish to play Halma, we had two or three -games; she was greatly addicted to Halma, but she had one little lovable -weakness in connection with it. She never liked to lose! The Emperor -played dominoes in the next room, and afterwards Emma<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_52" id="page_52">{52}</a></span> Fredericks sang, -the Empress accompanying her. Her Majesty was a very good pianist, and -played with rare feeling, but her excessive shyness often precluded her -from playing in the presence of others. At midnight the Imperial family -took their departure, and the Empress whispered to me: “Au revoir, we -shall meet to-morrow.”</p> - -<p>She did not forget. I was commanded to go to the Palace on the morrow. -It was Tuesday, and I remember how pleased I was. “Everything nice -happens on a Tuesday,” I kept saying, for this was an old belief of -mine.</p> - -<p>After my meeting with the Empress at Anna’s house, I often went to -Tsarkoe Selo, and the Grand Duchesses and I used to ride on the wooden -switchback, which was set up in one part of the Palace. It was -tremendous fun, and we slid and played together for hours, but I quite -forgot that I was a married woman and that I had hopes of becoming a -mother in some months’ time. However, the Empress had some idea of my -condition, and one day, after she and Anna had been watching our -performance on the switchback, Anna drew me aside.</p> - -<p>“Lili,” she said, “I’ve a message for you. The Empress wants you to be -very careful just now.” She held up a playful finger. “So no more -switchback!”</p> - -<p>During the months that followed, the Empress manifested the greatest -kindness towards me. She insisted upon her own doctor attending me, and, -when the Imperial family went yachting about a fortnight before the -birth of my baby, my husband received orders to absent himself from the -“Standart,” and to remain with me<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_53" id="page_53">{53}</a></span> instead. This act of consideration -was due to the Empress, and it caused, like the “wireless,” much petty -jealousy and a good deal of comment.</p> - -<p>But the expected baby delayed his arrival, and, when the Imperial family -returned to Tsarkoe Selo, the Emperor’s first words to my husband were:</p> - -<p>“Has the baby come?”</p> - -<p>“No, Sire, not yet.”</p> - -<p>“Well, well, don’t worry, Dehn, these things will happen, you know.”</p> - -<p>However, the baby arrived next morning, and shortly afterwards Anna -Virouboff came to make enquiries on behalf of the Empress, bringing with -her two lovely ikons, and a package done up in tissue paper and covered -with masses of rambler roses. The package contained a thin, fleecy -shawl, and my happiness was complete when Anna told me that the Empress -wished to be my son’s godmother.</p> - -<p>This was a great honour, but it presented difficulties, inasmuch as the -Dehns, in order to benefit from certain family monies, were obliged to -be baptized as Lutherans. The Empress was told about this, and, although -she made no objection at the time, I was to discover later how deeply -she was imbued with the faith of her adopted country. At the first -christening, the Empress attended in person, and held the baby, now -known as Alexander Leonide. She gave me a beautiful sapphire and diamond -brooch, and all kinds of presents, and for seven years the question of -the child’s religion was never mooted between us. But, at the end of -that time, the Empress told me that her dearest wish was that “Titi<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_54" id="page_54">{54}</a></span>” -(as she called him) should be received into the Greek Church.</p> - -<p>“It is more than a wish, Lili,” she said earnestly, “it is a command. I -insist upon my godson being Orthodox. He must be baptized before -Christmas.”</p> - -<p>This quiet persistency seems to me to afford one of the most conclusive -proofs of how Russian the Empress had become. It may be argued that most -converts are usually fanatics, but this was not so in her case. With -that “thoroughness” which I have mentioned as one of her chief -characteristics, the Empress was now more Russian than most Russians, -more Orthodox than the most Orthodox. She was intensely religious. Her -love of God and her belief in His mercy came before her love of her -husband and her children, and she found her greatest happiness in -religion at a time when she was surrounded by the panoply of Imperial -splendour. She was to derive consolation from her religion throughout -the Via Dolorosa of the saddened years, and, if it is indeed true that -she met death in the noisome cellar-room at Ekaterinburg, I am sure that -the same ardent faith sustained her in that last moment of agony. She -told me that she had hesitated to accept the Emperor’s offer of marriage -until she felt that her conscience would allow her to do so and she -could say with truth: “Thy country shall be my country, thy people my -people, and thy God my God.”</p> - -<p>Titi’s second baptism took place during the war at the St. Theodor -Cathedral. I had come to Tsarkoe Selo from Reval, and the ceremony<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_55" id="page_55">{55}</a></span> took -place at 8 in the morning. The Grand Duchesses Marie and Anastasie were -present at the first service, but the Empress, previously indisposed, -came with the Emperor and the suite to the second service, and -afterwards took Holy Communion. Titi was obliged to remain during both -services, but he was a good little boy, and he held his lighted candle -carefully and firmly the whole time.</p> - -<p>After the service we went back to the Palace, and the Empress displayed -more emotion than she had done at the first christening. I could see how -deeply the religious question had affected her all these years. She told -me how relieved she was, how pleased, how she felt now that all was well -with the child, and she gave her godson a wonderful ikon of St. -Alexander and a Cross engraved with her initials.</p> - -<p>But I must return to the earlier days—I have wandered from my narrative -to give this example of how Russian the Empress was at heart; hers was -no eye-service—to know her made it impossible to doubt her genuineness.</p> - -<p>The Empress was always sweet with Titi. She adored children, and she -often came to my house, when she nursed the baby and whistled to him. -This amused her, and she declared that Titi knew her whistle and always -opened his eyes whenever he heard it. I remember that on the morning -after the “Lutheran” baptism the Empress paid me a surprise visit.</p> - -<p>“I’ve come to see the baby,” she said. “Let me go to the nursery and -fetch him.”</p> - -<p>I followed her upstairs, and she took Titi out of his cot and carried -him to the drawing-room,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_56" id="page_56">{56}</a></span> where she played with him for an hour, sitting -on the carpet to do so.</p> - -<p>I think I am right in saying that our affectionate friendship began from -the birth of Titi. It was then that the Empress first called me “Lili,” -and as “Lili” I caused much mystification during the Revolution, when -this signature was supposed to possess some cryptic meaning.</p> - -<p>The Imperial Family spent part of that year in Finland, whither my -husband accompanied them, and I and the baby went to stay with his -parents. I was at Petrograd during the winter, and I saw a great deal of -the Imperial Family, and learned to love them all. They led the simplest -of lives; the Emperor often amused himself during the evening with a -game of dominoes, and I worked with the Empress and her daughters. It -was a real “vie de famille,” the life which appealed to them as -individuals, but not the life which appeals to the smart world, with -which the Empress had so little in common. This was my first Christmas -at Petrograd, and I determined to have a little tree in Titi’s honour. I -came in from my shopping late in the afternoon of Christmas Eve, and at -6 o’clock a courier arrived with a large box full of all kinds of -“surprises.” This was a present from the Empress—she always sent a -similar box at Easter, and it always arrived at 6 o’clock. Indeed, so -punctual was this present, that my husband often used to hide the box -and pretend that it had been forgotten—but I knew better!</p> - -<p>We were invited to spend Christmas Day with the Imperial Family. There -was a gigantic Christmas tree, the Grand Duchesses and the</p> - -<p><a name="ill_3" id="ill_3"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<a href="images/ill_003-a_lg.jpg"> -<img src="images/ill_003-a.jpg" width="251" height="344" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a> -<div class="caption"><p>HER IMPERIAL MAJESTY WITH TITI TSARSKOE SELO, 1909</p> - -<p>(Grand Duchess Tatiana’s snapshot)</p></div> -</div> - -<p><a name="ill_4" id="ill_4"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<a href="images/ill_003-b_lg.jpg"> -<img src="images/ill_003-b.jpg" width="337" height="342" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a> -<div class="caption"><p>HER IMPERIAL MAJESTY AND THE TSAREVITCH</p></div> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_57" id="page_57">{57}</a></span></p> - -<p>Tsarevitch thoroughly enjoyed themselves, and busied themselves in the -distribution of friendship’s offerings. The Empress had one curious -fancy in connection with her Christmas trees: she always insisted upon -blowing out the candles herself, and she was quite proud because she was -able to extinguish the topmost candle by some extraordinary effort of -breathing.</p> - -<p>And now I feel I must speak of the real Tsaritsa, the Empress whose -personality is known to so few—the Tsaritsa who was the most misjudged -and unfortunate of human beings. I know in my heart that Time, the best -historian, will make clear much that is dark. Even now, slowly, it is -true, but none the less surely, people are beginning to wonder whether -the Empress was in reality the pro-German and the hysterical <i>exaltée</i> -she is supposed to have been. She did not deign to defend herself from -the calumnies and lies which were scattered broadcast in Russia; to such -a nature, these trials were sent by God—all that <i>she</i> had to do was to -<i>endure</i>. But I saw her tears when she and the Emperor received the news -of the loss of the “Hampshire” and the death of Kitchener. These were no -Judas tears—hers was the grief of the woman and the Sovereign at the -death of a brave soldier, and yet, whenever her name is mentioned in -England, people say carelessly: “Oh, she saw to the torpedoing of the -‘Hampshire,’ and wasn’t she the mistress of Rasputin?”</p> - -<p>A pro-German, and the mistress of Rasputin!! Must this then, be the -epitaph of the friend whom I knew, and the Empress to whom I owed the -respect of a subject? I am not blind to the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_58" id="page_58">{58}</a></span> knowledge that any vehement -defence may do her memory still more harm, but, nevertheless, I am -impelled to write of her as she existed in her home, and in our hearts.</p> - -<p>I have read and heard almost all that has been laid to her charge; I am -no skilled writer, I know little or nothing of politics, but I can lay -claim to some knowledge of my own sex. During the awful days of the -Revolution, the Empress spoke to me as woman to woman. Her mind -constantly dwelt on the days of her girlhood, her life with her -grandmother, and the unhappiness of her childhood at Hesse Darmstadt.</p> - -<p>The Emperor was the love of her life. She told me herself that he was -her first love, but, the greater her love, the greater her fear lest she -would prove unworthy. She gave herself to Russia when she married, and -she accepted Russia as a sacred trust; but she and the Emperor were -always more husband and wife than Emperor and Empress—they lived the -intimate life of happily married people, they liked simplicity, they -shrank from publicity, and this love of retirement was the source of -many of the evil reports which assailed the Imperial Family.</p> - -<p>The Empress told me that when she cried at the marriage of her brother -her tears were said to be tears of jealous rage at seeing herself -dispossessed of authority.</p> - -<p>“But, Lili, I was <i>not</i> jealous. I cried when I thought of my mother; -this was the first festival since her death. I seemed to see her -everywhere.”</p> - -<p>She described the dull Palace, its strict regime, her father’s -intermittent kindness, and how much she had looked forward to her visits -to Windsor.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_59" id="page_59">{59}</a></span> I think that the intimacy with her grandmother -unconsciously brought out the Early Victorian strain in the Empress’s -character. She undoubtedly possessed this strain, as in many ways she -was a typical Victorian; she shared her grandmother’s love of law and -order, her faithful adherence to family duty, her dislike of modernity, -and she also possessed the “homeliness” of the Coburgs, which annoyed -Society so much. The Russian aristocracy could not understand why on all -the earth their Empress knitted scarves and shawls as presents for her -friends, or gave them dress-lengths. Their conception of an Imperial -gift was totally different, and they were oblivious of the love which -had been crocheted into the despised scarf or the useful shawl—but the -Empress, with her Victorian ideas as to the value of friendship, would -not, or could not, see that she was a failure in this sense. The Empress -was in many ways as thrifty as her grandmother, but she did not share -the miserly proclivities of her uncle, the late Duke of Saxe-Coburg. Her -father was not a wealthy man, in fact life at Darmstadt was occasionally -a question of ways and means. The Empress had been taught to be careful. -She <i>was</i> careful.</p> - -<p>“When I was engaged, Lili, I showed my grandmother some of the jewels -which the Emperor had given me. What do you think she said?”</p> - -<p>“I cannot imagine, Madame.”</p> - -<p>“Well ... she looked at my diamonds and remarked: ‘Now, Alix, don’t get -too proud!’ The Queen was a tiny creature, and she wore such <span class="pagenum"><a name="page_60" id="page_60">{60}</a></span>long -trains ... but she was very forceful.” Then, reminiscently, “My sister -Elizabeth and I always loved the little houses in England ... dear -little houses set in their pretty gardens. You’ll see them one day, but -I never shall.”</p> - -<p>Queen Victoria had instilled in the mind of her granddaughter the entire -duties of a <i>Hausfrau</i>. In her persistent regard for these Martha-like -cares, the Empress was entirely German and entirely English—certainly -not Russian. I have mentioned her horror when she arrived at Petrograd -and discovered that the servants were unaware of the use of blacklead. -This was an actual worry to the Empress.</p> - -<p>“I wanted my grates blackleaded every day,” she said. “They were in a -very bad condition, so I called one of my maids and told her to do the -grate, only to discover that it was not within her province. Eventually -a man-servant was sent for, but imagine, Lili, I had actually to show -him how to blacklead a grate <i>myself</i>.”</p> - -<p>This practical side of the Empress was entirely distasteful to the -entourage—they laughed at it equally as much as they criticised her -friendships with people whom they did not consider in any way worthy of -the friendship of an Empress of Russia. I and Anna came under the -category of the unworthy, for, although we were well born, we were not -of the “sang azur” of certain noble ladies who were desirous of -admittance into the charmed circle. The Empress was accused of not being -true to class, but on one point she was inflexible; she allowed no -interference with her friendships. I sometimes wondered why she -preferred “homely” friends to the more brilliant variety—I ventured to -ask her this question,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_61" id="page_61">{61}</a></span> and she told me that she was, as I knew, -painfully shy, and that strangers were almost repellent to her.</p> - -<p>“I don’t mind whether a person is rich or poor. Once my friend, always -my friend.”</p> - -<p>Yes, her loyalty was indeed worthy of the name of a friend, but she put -friendship and its claims before material considerations. As a woman she -was right, as an Empress perhaps she was wrong.</p> - -<p>The aristocracy never tried to understand the real Tsaritsa. Their pride -was up in arms against her—she found no favour in their eyes. I -remember an incident which went to prove this, and which was widely -discussed at the time.</p> - -<p>Princess Bariatinsky, who then happened to be one of the Maids of Honour -to the Empress, was a charming woman, but, like most of the aristocracy, -she was excessively proud. One day, hearing that the Empress was about -to go out, the Princess held herself in readiness to accompany her, but -the Empress left the Palace by another entrance, accompanied by Mlle. -Schneider, a Russian lady who gave the Empress lessons in Russian.</p> - -<p>This unintentional slight was too much for the Princess. She, -metaphorically and literally, put on her hat, and departed never to -return, remarking as she did so: “<i>Quand une Bariatinsky met son -chapeau, c’est pour sortir</i>.” The Empress detested any form of snobbism. -One day, during the Japanese war, she was busy at one of her working -parties at the Winter Palace; the windows of the salon opened on to the -Neva Quai, and from where she sat the Empress could see the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_62" id="page_62">{62}</a></span> soldiers -and officers passing to and fro. Suddenly she looked intently out of the -window—an expression of distaste on her countenance—and she sighed -impatiently. An officer ventured to ask her what was the matter. The -Empress pointed to the Quai:</p> - -<p>“<i>That</i> is the matter,” she said, indicating an officer who had just -been saluted by some soldiers, but who had not returned the salute. “Why -cannot an officer recognise the men by whose side he may one day fall? I -detest such snobbism,” she added, coldly.</p> - -<p>The scandals about the Empress, circulated by propaganda and rumour, -will be believed, alas! for many years. She is credited with dabbling in -occult practices, with a belief in Spiritualism, and of even attempting -to call up the illustrious dead in order to influence the Emperor, who -is supposed to have indulged in various dramatic séances at the Winter -Palace. Perhaps these stories originated in the more or less retired -life led by the Empress. This retirement was often enforced—she was a -delicate woman, but, although many writers state that she suffered from -the hereditary malady of her father’s family, she never mentioned its -existence to me. Her heart was weak, owing to rapid child-bearing, and -at times she experienced great difficulty in breathing. I never saw the -slightest trace of hysteria. The Empress was apt to get suddenly cross, -but she usually kept her feelings well under control. Apart from her -delicate health, there was another reason for these periods of -retirement. The Tsarevitch and the Grand Duchesses were often ailing, -the Empress was a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_63" id="page_63">{63}</a></span> devoted mother, and she insisted upon being with her -children and sharing the duties of a nurse. The maternal element was -strongly developed in her; the Empress was never so happy as when she -was “mothering” somebody, and, whenever a person had gained her -affection and her trust, she never failed to interest herself in the -smallest details connected with him and his.</p> - -<p>Her occultism has been grossly exaggerated. Her superstitions were of -the most trivial description: she thought that a bright day was -propitious for a journey, that the gift of an ikon to her was not -propitious, but her fancy for the sign of the Swastika was not for the -Swastika as a <i>charm</i>, only as a symbol. She told me that the ancients -believed in the Swastika as the source of motion, the emblem of -Divinity. The significance of it as a “luck bringer” never crossed her -mind. “Faith, Love and Hope are <i>all</i> that matter,” she would say. I -will readily admit that she possessed a strong element of mysticism -which coloured much of her life; this was akin to the “dreaming” -propensities of her grandfather, the Prince Consort, and environment, -and the Faith of her adoption fostered this mystic sense. English -writers condemn this trait. I have before me a book in which the author -quoted the opinion of one of the most bitter enemies of the Empress. -“Alexandra Feodorovna,” he says, “is an interesting type for future -psychologists, historians and dramatic authors ... a German Princess -educated in England, on the Russian Throne, a convert to a peasant’s -religious sect, and an adept at occultism. She is made of the substance -that those terrible, tyrannical Princesses of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_64" id="page_64">{64}</a></span> XV-XVII centuries in -the western countries of Europe were made of; those Princesses who -united in their personality the despot Sovereign, bordering on the -witch, and skirting the fanatical visionary, who were completely in the -hands of their reactionary advisers, and their insinuating wily -confessors.”</p> - -<p>I had read the book containing this extract before I began to write my -memories of the real Tsaritsa. I read many passages with eyes half -blinded with tears, sometimes I felt mine would be an impossible task. -How could I, an unknown name in England, attempt to combat such -statements? I am not assuming for one moment that the writer of the book -was ill-disposed towards the Empress; he wrote for posterity, setting -down his own opinion and that of others. But I am curious to know if he -ever knew the Empress personally, and if he ever shared the intimate -life of the Imperial Family. I did <i>both</i>—not only in the days before -and during the war, but also in the days of despair, when murder and -sudden death faced us at every turn. It was then no time for -pretence—but the Empress never changed; she was the same unselfish -soul, the same devoted mother and wife, the same loyal friend.</p> - -<p>The material for another book which was largely circulated in England -was supposed to have been “given” to the author by a lady well known, -and in great favour at Court. This novel—for it was, in many respects, -fiction pure and simple—was mentioned to me, and, upon reading it, I -was amazed to find the names of persons who never existed, and who were, -there<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_65" id="page_65">{65}</a></span>fore, never at Court. There was no attempt to hide names under -pseudonyms or initials—these imaginary beings lived, moved and had -their being in the book as real individuals!</p> - -<p>I was so much interested in the creative genius of the “Court Lady” that -a friend of mine wrote to the part-author and asked him, on my behalf, -to disclose her name. My request was refused: the part-author said that -he was under an honourable vow of secrecy not to disclose the name of -his collaborator!</p> - -<p>But was this sporting? The book contained certain damning statements -against the Empress, it bristled with inaccuracies; truly, anonymous -Court histories cover a multitude of untruths! But surely those who -profit thereby should have courage enough to come out in the open when -certain questions arise. You either make a statement, or you do not. If -you believe in its truth, you should not be ashamed to say why, and -wherefore, and to acknowledge the source of its origin, but I am -inclined to think that the words, “I gave my word not to say who told -me,” place little value on malicious gossip, either in books or in -everyday life.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_66" id="page_66">{66}</a></span></p> - -<h3><a name="CHAPTER_IV-a" id="CHAPTER_IV-a"></a>CHAPTER IV</h3> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> Empress was an early riser. She had six dressers, of whom the chief, -Madeleine Zanoty, was an Italian by birth, whose family had long been in -the service of the Hesses. Louise Toutelberg, known as “Toutel,” the -second in authority, came from the Baltic, and there were four others. -The dressers had three days’ service, but none of them ever saw the -Empress undressed or in her bath. She rose and went to her bath -unassisted, and slipped on a Japanese kimono of silk or printed cotton -over her undergarments when she was ready to have her hair arranged. The -Empress was extraordinarily modest in her disarray, and in this the -Victorian influence was again discernible, as her conception of the -bedroom was à-la-mode de Windsor and Buckingham Palace in 1840. She did -not countenance the filmy and theatrical, either in her lingerie or in -her sleeping apartment; her underwear was of the finest linen, -beautifully embroidered, but otherwise plain. Her red-gold hair was -never touched with curling irons, and it was usually very simply -dressed, except when great State functions called for a more elaborate -coiffure.</p> - -<p>The bedroom of the Emperor and the Empress was a large room with two -tall windows opening on to the Park. It was on the ground floor, as, -owing to the Empress’s heart complaint, she<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_67" id="page_67">{67}</a></span> found the exertion of -ascending any stairs very exhausting. A lift in the corridor -communicated with the nurseries, but during the Revolution the water -supply was cut off, and the lift stopped working. Nevertheless the -Empress insisted upon mounting the stairs to visit the invalid Grand -Duchesses, and I always accompanied her, going behind her, and propping -her up at each step. It brought tears to my eyes when I saw how ill she -was, but she was determined not to miss a single chance of seeing her -beloved children.</p> - -<p>A large double bed made of lightish wood was near the windows, between -which stood the Empress’s dressing-table. At the right of the bed was a -little door in the wall, leading to a tiny dark chapel lighted by -hanging lamps, where the Empress was wont to pray. This chapel contained -a table, and a praying-stand on which were a Bible and an ikon of -Christ. This ikon was afterwards given to me by Her Majesty, in memory -of the days which we spent together at Tsarkoe Selo, and is one of my -most treasured possessions to-day.</p> - -<p>The furniture in the Imperial bedroom was in flowered tapestry, and the -carpet was a plain coloured soft pile. The Emperor’s dressing-room was -separated from the bedroom by the corridor, and on the other side were -the Empress’s dressing-room and bathroom—but, alas! for her rumoured -extravagances and her “odd” fancies! The bathroom was no luxurious place -of silver and marble, but an old-fashioned bath set in a dark recess, -and the Empress, with her Victorian love of neatness, insisted that the -bath was hidden during the day under a loose cretonne<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_68" id="page_68">{68}</a></span> cover. There was -a fireplace in the dressing-room, and the dressers waited in the next -room until the Empress required their services. The Empress’s gowns were -kept here, and another room full of large cupboards (half-way up the -staircase leading to the nurseries) was given over to the use of those -maids whose especial duty it was to iron and renovate Her Majesty’s -clothes.</p> - -<p>The Empress favoured long, pointed footgear with very low heels: she -usually wore suède, bronze or white shoes, never satin. “I can’t bear -satin shoes, they worry me,” she would say. Her gowns, except those worn -by her on State occasions, were very simple; she liked blouses and -skirts, and she was greatly addicted to tea-gowns: her taste in dress -was as refined as that of Queen Mary of England; like her she -disapproved strongly of exaggerated fashions, and I shall not easily -forget her condemnation when I once came to see her wearing a “hobble” -skirt.</p> - -<p>“Do you really like this skirt, Lili?” asked the Empress.</p> - -<p>“Well ... Madame,” I said helplessly, “c’est la mode.”</p> - -<p>“It is no use whatever as a skirt,” she answered. “Now, Lili, prove to -me that it is comfortable—run, Lili, run, and let me see how fast you -can cover the ground in it.”</p> - -<p>Needless to say, I never wore a “hobble” skirt again.</p> - -<p>The Empress has been accused of a mania for precious stones. I never saw -any signs of it: true, she had quantities of magnificent jewels, but -these possessions were consequent upon her position as Empress. She was -fond of rings and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_69" id="page_69">{69}</a></span> bracelets, and she always wore a certain ring set -with one immense pearl, and a jewelled cross. Some writers assert that -this cross was set with emeralds, but I do not agree. I am sure that the -stones were sapphires, and, as I saw it every day, I fancy I am correct. -The Empress had soft, well-shaped hands, but they were neither small nor -useless hands, and she never had her nails polished, as the Emperor -detested highly polished and super-manicured nails.</p> - -<p>At nine o’clock the Empress breakfasted with the Emperor; it was a -simple meal à l’Anglaise, and after breakfast she went upstairs to see -the children. Then Anna Virouboff arrived, and, if certain interviews -were imperative, these were usually given during the morning, but, if -the Empress found herself “free,” she went to inspect her training -college for domestic nurses, which was arranged entirely on English -lines. She had great faith in the value of English-trained nurses for -children, and she put all her usual “thoroughness” into the working and -management of this institution.</p> - -<p>Lunch was at one o’clock, and at twelve-thirty on Sundays; but when, as -it often happened, the Empress was indisposed, she either lunched in her -boudoir or alone with the Tsarevitch. After lunch the Empress walked, or -drove herself in a little open carriage. Tea was at five, but sometimes -receptions were held between lunch and tea. The Imperial Family all met -at tea, which was quite “en famille”; and dinner, which was at 8 -o’clock, was often a movable feast in the literal sense of the word. The -Emperor disliked dining in one special room, so a table was carried to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_70" id="page_70">{70}</a></span> -whichever room he happened to fancy that evening. Dinner over (and it -was a very simple dinner) the Imperial Family spent the remainder of the -evening together, and the Grand Duchesses, who had a <i>flair</i> for -puzzles, usually indulged in puzzle-making: sometimes the Emperor read -aloud whilst his daughters and their mother worked. It was the homely -life of a united family—but a life with which the great world was not -in sympathy; in fact a Russian writer did not hesitate to state openly -that “it would have been better for Russia’s felicity if the Empress had -succumbed to the many frailties which were attributed to Catherine II.” -It is ironical to dwell on such an opinion when one remembers how the -newspapers and the general public condemned her association with -Rasputin. But had she been Catherine II, it is possible that this -“frailty” might have been considered necessary for the “felicity” of -Russia!</p> - -<p>The Empress’s boudoir, known as “Le Cabinet Mauve de l’Imperatrice,” was -a lovely room, in which the Empress’s partiality for all shades of mauve -was apparent. In spring-time and winter the air was fragrant with masses -of lilac and lilies of the valley, which were sent daily from the -Riviera. Lovely pictures adorned the walls—and one of the Annunciation, -and another of St. Cecilia, faced a portrait of the Empress’s mother, -the late Princess Alice of England, Grand Duchess of Hesse-Darmstadt.</p> - -<p>The furniture was mauve and white, Heppelwaite in style, and there were -various “cosy corners.” On a large table stood many family photographs, -that of Queen Victoria occupying the place of honour.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_71" id="page_71">{71}</a></span></p> - -<p>The other private drawing-room was a large room, decorated and -upholstered in shades of green, and the Empress had arranged in one -corner a sort of tiny staircase and a balcony, which was always full of -violets in the spring. In this room were pictures of herself and the -Emperor, and some exquisite miniatures of the Grand Duchesses by -Kaulbach, that of Marie being especially beautiful.</p> - -<p>Books were everywhere; the Empress was a prolific reader, but she was -chiefly addicted to serious literature, and she knew the Bible from -cover to cover. The library was next the green drawing-room, and here -all the newest books and magazines were placed on a round table, and -constantly changed for others in the order of their publication.</p> - -<p>The Empress was a great letter-writer, and she wrote her letters -wherever she fancied. Her writing-table proper was in the room next her -bedroom, but I have often seen her writing letters on a pad in her lap, -and she invariably used a fountain-pen. Before the war she wrote daily -to a great friend in Germany, and she always read this lady’s letters to -me. Her stationery, like her lingerie, was plain, but stamped with her -cypher and the Imperial Crown.</p> - -<p>Apropos of her fondness for lilac and lilies of the valley, I may -mention that the Empress loved all flowers, her especial favourites -being lilies, magnolias, wistaria, rhododendrons, freesias and violets. -A love of flowers is usually akin to a love of perfumes, and the Empress -was no exception to the rule. She generally used Atkinson’s White Rose; -it was, she said, “clean” as a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_72" id="page_72">{72}</a></span> perfume, and “infinitely sweet”—as an -eau-de-toilette, she favoured Verveine.</p> - -<p>When I first knew the Empress, she did not smoke, but during the -Revolution she smoked cigarettes: I fancy they soothed her overwrought -nerves.</p> - -<p>The Empress always kept a diary, but I shall presently relate how it -became my duty to burn her diaries, also those of Princess Sofia -Orbeliani and Anna Virouboff; and last, but not least in sentimental -interest, all the letters which the Emperor had sent her during their -engagement and married life.</p> - -<p>Dr. Botkin, the devoted friend and physician to the family, was -introduced to me by Anna Virouboff, and I liked him exceedingly. He was -a clever, liberal-minded man, and, although his political views were -opposed to those of the Imperialists, he became so devoted to the -Emperor that his once cherished views mattered little to him.</p> - -<p>I think, from my description, which possesses the merit of accuracy, -that it will be recognised what simplicity of life surrounded the rulers -of one of the greatest Empires the world has ever known. Simplicity -characterised all their doings, the simplicity which was to prove their -undoing. The Imperial pair wished to lead the lives of private -individuals; they imagined that it was possible. In Russia it has never -been popular or possible for a Tsar to be human; he was an emblem, a -representative of crystallised traditions; he united in himself the -rôles of the Father of his people and the splendid, all-conquering, -unapproachable Tsar. An Emperor or an Empress in mufti, so to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_73" id="page_73">{73}</a></span> speak, -never yet appealed to popular imagination, and, just as the English -cottager preserved and venerated the horrible “royal” oleographs of -Queen Victoria, so did the Russian peasant venerate similar oleographs -of the Emperor and his Consort. Neither cottager nor peasant would have -understood or cared to possess “family” photographs of their rulers. -Popular imagination has ever been appealed to by scarlet and ermine, -golden crowns, and kingly sceptres. It doesn’t understand or value -anything else.</p> - -<p>In the March following the birth of Titi, the Empress wrote and told me -that she was anxious to see her godson, then nine months old. So I went -with him to Tsarkoe Selo, where the Grand Duchesses made much of him, -and used to take it in turns to bath him. We took up our quarters in -Anna’s house, where the Empress had personally superintended the -arrangement of the baby’s room, and she sent his cot, of which she -crocheted the hangings and coverlet herself. She spent hours with the -child, playing with him, “snapshotting” him, and, after our first visit, -I was constantly “commanded” to “come and bring the baby.” I remember -that, when I once missed the train, and arrived too late for lunch, the -Empress, who was waiting for me, noticed my fatigue, and ordered tea. -She took Titi on her lap, and saying, “Well ... Lili, you do look hungry -and tired,” she fed me with pieces of sandwiches, pressing them on me -much in the same way that a mother soothes a tired child. But she was -ever “plus mère que mère, plus Russe que Russe,” but her love of country -was only for Russia and England. She had, and I say it with<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_74" id="page_74">{74}</a></span> absolute -conviction, no love for Germany as her “Motherland.” She liked -Darmstadt, because to her it represented home, but she manifested no -interest in any other part of Germany.</p> - -<p>My friendship with the Empress increased as the months passed. That -autumn the Imperial Family went to Livadia, and I stayed with my uncle, -going constantly to and from the Palace. The first day I saw the Empress -in Livadia she gave me an entire layette for Titi which she had made -herself. I had wondered why she had telegraphed for his -measurements—now I knew! She would often call at my uncle’s and take -the baby with her for a drive. The little thing got to know her well, -and one day, looking at her photograph, he said “Baby”; so after this -the Empress of Russia was known to Titi by her own wish, <i>tout -simplement</i>, in English, as “Aunt Baby.” He always called her “Aunt -Baby,” and in many of her letters she alludes to herself by this pet -name, but, needless to say, the favour shown to me and my child by the -Imperial Family was the source of much comment at Court.</p> - -<p>On one point my mind was made up. I determined never to allow any ideas -of preferment or material advantage to spoil what was to me a condition -of great happiness. My husband entirely agreed, and he declined to -consider any mention of the posts which were from time to time spoken of -in connection with him. As for myself, the Empress understood and -appreciated my outlook. “You can always be my <i>friend</i> if matters remain -as they are,” she said. “I don’t want to lose my Lili in an official -personage.”</p> - -<p>We were very happy in those days. The<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_75" id="page_75">{75}</a></span> Grand Duchesses were fast leaving -childhood behind them and blossoming into charming girls; they did not -greatly resemble one another, each was a type apart, but all were -equally lovely in disposition. I cannot believe that any men so inhuman -existed as those who, it is said, shot and stabbed those defenceless -creatures in the house of death at Ekaterinburg. Apart from their -beauty, their sweetness should have pleaded for them, but, if it is true -that they have “passed,” then surely no better epitaph could be theirs -than the immortal words, “Lovely and pleasant were they in their lives, -and in their death they were not divided.”</p> - -<p>The Grand Duchess Olga was the eldest of these four fair sisters. She -was a most amiable girl, and people loved her from the moment they set -eyes on her. As a child she was plain, at fifteen she was beautiful. She -was slightly above middle height, with a fresh complexion, deep blue -eyes, quantities of light chestnut hair, and pretty hands and feet. She -took life seriously, and she was a clever girl with a sweet disposition. -I think she possessed unusual strength of character, and at one time she -was mentioned as a possible bride for the Crown Prince of Roumania. But -the Grand Duchess did not like him, and, as the Crown Prince liked the -Grand Duchess Marie better than her sister, nothing came of the project. -The sisters loved each other, and united in a passionate adoration for -the Tsarevitch. In a recent book published in England, the Grand -Duchesses have been described as Cinderellas, who were entirely -subservient in family life owing to the attention paid the Tsarevitch. -This<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_76" id="page_76">{76}</a></span> is untrue. It is a fact that the Empress ardently desired a son, -and that the birth of four daughters in succession was a disappointment -to her, but she loved her daughters, they were her inseparable -companions, and their plain and rather strict upbringing had nothing -whatever of the Cinderella element.</p> - -<p>The Grand Duchess Tatiana was as charming as her sister Olga, but in a -different way. She has been described as proud, but I never knew anyone -less so. With her, as with her mother, shyness and reserve were -accounted as pride, but, once you knew her and had gained her affection, -this reserve disappeared, and the real Tatiana became apparent. She was -a poetical creature, always yearning for the ideal, and dreaming of -great friendships which might be hers. The Emperor loved her devotedly, -they had much in common, and the sisters used to laugh, and say that, if -a favour were required, “Tatiana must ask Papa to grant it.” She was -very tall, and excessively thin, with a cameo-like profile, deep blue -eyes, and dark chestnut hair ... a lovely “Rose” maiden, fragile and -pure as a flower.</p> - -<p>All the Grand Duchesses were innocent children in their souls. Nothing -impure was ever allowed to come into their lives—the Empress was very -strict over the books which they read, which were mostly by English -authors. They had no idea of the ugly side of life, although, poor -girls, they were destined to see the worst side of it and to come in -contact with the most debased passions of humanity! And yet it has been -stated that the Empress, in her neurotic, religious exaltation, gave -each of her daughters to Rasputin. Knowing<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_77" id="page_77">{77}</a></span> her, knowing the Emperor, -and knowing the daughters as I did, such an assertion savours of the -monstrous; it has even been circulated that Mlle. Tutcheff objected to -Rasputin being admitted to the Grand Duchesses’ bedchamber to give them -his nightly blessing after they had retired to bed, and that, as her -protest was disregarded, she sent in her resignation. Mlle. Tutcheff was -never governess to the Grand Duchesses, and she never witnessed -Rasputin’s nightly blessing, inasmuch as it never took place. The -Emperor would never have permitted such a thing, even had the Empress -wished it, and she certainly did not consider such a proceeding -necessary for her daughters’ salvation. Mlle. Tutcheff was the victim of -her own spite and jealousy. She was not a very pleasant person, and, -whenever the Imperial Family went to Livadia, she usually made herself -very disagreeable, as she thoroughly disliked the Crimea. Continual -grumbling wears away the patience of most people; the Empress was only -human, and Mlle. Tutcheff was first given a holiday and then dismissed -by the Grande Maîtresse de la Cour.</p> - -<p>Mlle. Tutcheff did not hesitate to spread all kinds of vindictive -rumours to account for her dismissal. She was too small-minded to state -the real facts, and, as l’affaire Rasputin was generally spoken about, -she decided to vent her spite on the Empress through this medium. I -again assert that there is no truth in the legend of Rasputin’s nightly -blessing.</p> - -<p>When I first knew the Grand Duchess Marie, she was quite a child, but -during the Revolution<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_78" id="page_78">{78}</a></span> she became very devoted to me, and I to her, and -we spent most of our time together—she was a wonderful girl, possessed -of tremendous reserve force, and I never realised her unselfish nature -until those dreadful days. She too was exceeding fair, dowered with the -classic beauty of the Romanoffs; her eyes were dark blue, shaded by long -lashes, and she had masses of dark brown hair. Marie was plump, and the -Empress often teased her about this; she was not so lively as her -sisters, but she was much more decided in her outlook. The Grand Duchess -Marie knew at once what she wanted, and why she wanted it.</p> - -<p>Anastasie, the youngest Grand Duchess, might have been composed of -quicksilver, instead of flesh and blood; she was most amusing, and she -was a very clever mimic. She saw the humorous side of everything, and -she was very fond of acting; indeed, Anastasie would have made an -excellent comedy actress. She was always in mischief, a regular tom-boy, -but she was not backward in her development, as M. Gilliard once stated. -Anastasie was only sixteen at the time of the Revolution—no great age -after all! She was pretty, but hers was more of a clever face, and her -eyes were wells of intelligence.</p> - -<p>All the sisters were utterly devoid of pride, and, when they nursed the -wounded during the war, they were known as the Sisters Romanoff, and -thus answered to the numbers 1, 2, 3 and 4.</p> - -<p>The Grand Duchesses occupied two bedrooms; Olga and Tatiana shared one, -Marie and Anastasie the other. These apartments were large and light, -decorated and furnished in green and white. The sisters slept on camp -beds—a custom dating<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_79" id="page_79">{79}</a></span> back to the reign of Alexander I, who decreed -that the daughters of the Emperor were not to sleep on more comfortable -beds until they married. Ikons hung in the corners of the rooms, and -there were pretty dressing-tables, and couches with embroidered -cushions. The Grand Duchesses were fond of pictures and -photographs—there were endless snapshots taken by themselves, those -from their beloved Crimea being especially in evidence.</p> - -<p>A large room, divided by a curtain, served as dressing-room and bathroom -for the Grand Duchesses. One half of the room was full of cupboards, and -in the other half stood the large bath of solid silver. The Grand -Duchesses had departed from their mother’s simple ideas, and, when they -bathed at night, the water was perfumed and softened with almond bran. -Like their mother, they were addicted to perfumes, and always used those -of Coty. Tatiana favoured “Jasmin de Corse”; Olga, “Rose Thé”; Marie -constantly changed her perfumes, but was more or less faithful to lilac, -and Anastasie never deviated from violette.</p> - -<p>The Grand Duchesses’ attendants were a compromise between dressers, -maids and nurses. They were all girls of good family, the most favoured -being Mlle. Tegeleff, known as “Shoura”; the other two were “Elizabeth” -and “Neouta.” The Empress—once again Victorian—was very desirous for -these girls to wear caps, but they declined respectfully but firmly to -do so, and she did not press the matter. The Grand Duchesses liked their -attendants, and often used to help them tidy the rooms and make the -beds!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_80" id="page_80">{80}</a></span> Unlike their mother, but like most Russians, the four sisters -showed a predilection for dress, but the Empress had her own ideas on -the subject, and she chose and ordered all their clothes. As children, -the girls were dressed alike, but later the two eldest wore similar -gowns, and the next two were dressed, so to speak, “to match.” The only -frivolity which the Empress tolerated lay in her daughters’ -dressing-gowns, which carried out the colours of the regiments of which -they were colonels, and the Grand Duchesses were very proud of their -dressing-gowns and their regiments. They were always present at parades, -when they wore the uniform of their regiments, and this excitement was -one of their chief pleasures.</p> - -<p>The sisters led most ordinary, uneventful lives; their exalted station -never troubled them. With true courtesy they always made me pass out of -a room before them, there was no ceremony, no fuss—they were the -dearest, most affectionate girls, and I loved them all. The Grand -Duchesses rose early, and were soon occupied with their lessons. After -morning lessons they walked with the Emperor, and between lunch and tea -they again went out with him. They spoke Russian, English or a little -French, <i>never</i> German, and, although they danced well, they had not -much chance to do so, unless the Imperial Family went to the Crimea, -then Princess Marie Bariatinsky always arranged a series of dances for -them.</p> - -<p>The motive power in the lives of these charming children was family -love. They had no thought apart from their home. Their affection was -lavished on their father and mother, their brother and a few friends. -Their parents were their<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_81" id="page_81">{81}</a></span> paramount consideration. With the “children,” -as we called them, it was always a question of “Would Papa like it?” “Do -you think this or that would please Mama?”—and they always alluded to -their father and mother by the simple Russian words of Mama and Papa.</p> - -<p>The Tsarevitch, that Child of many Prayers, one of the most pathetic -figures in this tragedy of innocence, was born in 1904, and he was a -healthy baby weighing eleven pounds at the time of his birth; many of -the stories about his delicacy of constitution which have been given to -the world are very exaggerated, especially the one which insists that -the Nihilists mutilated the child when he was on the Imperial yacht. No -such mutilation ever took place. The Tsarevitch certainly suffered from -the hereditary trouble of thin blood-vessels, which first became -apparent after a fall in Spala, but he was otherwise a normally healthy -boy, and at the time of the Revolution he was really getting much -stronger and much freer from the complaint. I know he was ailing at -Tobolsk and Ekaterinburg, but that is hardly to be wondered at!</p> - -<p>In appearance he resembled his sister Tatiana: he had the same fine -features, and her beautiful blue eyes; he loved his sisters, and they -adored him, and patiently submitted to his teasing. The Tsarevitch was a -lively, amusing boy, with a wonderful ear for music, and he played well -on the <i>balalika</i>: like Tatiana he was shy, but, once he knew and liked -anyone, this shyness vanished.</p> - -<p>The Empress insisted upon her son being brought up, like his sisters, in -a perfectly natural way. There was no ceremonial in the daily life<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_82" id="page_82">{82}</a></span> of -the Tsarevitch: he was merely a son, and a brother to his family, -although it was sometimes quaint to see him assume “grown up” airs. One -day, when he was indulging in a romp with the Grand Duchesses, he was -told that some officers of his regiment had arrived at the Palace and -begged permission to be received by him.</p> - -<p>The Tsarevitch instantly ceased his game, and, calling his sisters, he -said very gravely: “Now, girls, run away. I am busy. Someone has just -called to see me on business.”</p> - -<p>He adored his mother, and her passionate devotion to him is world-known, -although, like many other things, this devotion has been used as a -weapon against her. To the Empress, the Tsarevitch represented the -direct result of prayer, the Divine condescension of God, the crowning -joy of her marriage. Surely, if she manifested undue anxiety over him, -she only did what all mothers have done, and will do until the end of -time. There was certainly some subtle sympathy between mother and son: -she was all that was lovely and beloved to him, and I especially -remember one typical instance of this devotion:</p> - -<p>My husband and I had been dining with the Imperial Family, and after -dinner the Emperor suggested that we should accompany them to the -Tsarevitch’s bedroom, as the Empress always went thither to bid him good -night and hear him say his prayers. It was a pretty sight to watch the -child and his mother, and listen to his simple prayers, but, when the -Empress rose to go, we suddenly found ourselves in complete -darkness—the Tsarevitch had switched off the electric light over his -bed!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_83" id="page_83">{83}</a></span></p> - -<p>“Why have you done this, Baby?” asked the Empress. “Oh,” answered the -child, “it’s only light for me, Mama, when you are here. It’s always -quite dark when you have gone.”</p> - -<p>He loved his father, and the Emperor’s great wish in the “happy days” -was to undertake his son’s education himself: this, for many reasons, -was impossible, and Mr. Gibbs and M. Gilliard were his first tutors. -Later, under very different conditions, the Emperor was enabled to carry -out his wish. In the gloomy house at Tobolsk, he taught the Tsarevitch, -and in the squalor and misery of Ekaterinburg the lessons still -continued; but perhaps the greatest lesson learnt by the Tsarevitch and -the other members of the unfortunate family was that of Faith: for faith -sustained them, and strengthened them at a time when riches and friends -had fled and they found themselves betrayed by the very country which -had been all in all to them.</p> - -<p>The Tsarevitch had various playmates—all sorts and conditions of boys -shared his games: there were the two sons of his sailor-servant, two -peasant boys with whom he was on friendly and affectionate terms, and my -“Titi,” who ran about with him, upsetting everything, and thoroughly -enjoying himself. The Heir to the Throne was as courteous as his -sisters. One day the Empress and I were sitting in the mauve boudoir, -when we heard the excited voices of the Tsarevitch and Titi in the next -room.</p> - -<p>“I believe they’re quarrelling,” said the Empress, and she went to the -door and listened to what the children were saying. Then she turned to -me laughing. “Why they’re not<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_84" id="page_84">{84}</a></span> quarrelling, Lili. Alexis is insisting -that Titi shall come into the mauve room first, and the good Titi won’t -hear of it!”</p> - -<p>If the Tsarevitch had any peculiarities, I think the most striking was a -decided penchant for hoarding. Many descendants of the Coburgs have been -unusually thrifty, and perhaps the Tsarevitch inherited this trait. -While thrifty he was really a most generous child, although he hoarded -his things to such an extent that the Emperor often teased him -unmercifully. During the sugar shortage he saved his allowance of sugar, -which he gravely distributed among his friends. He was fond of animals, -and his spaniel, “Joy,” has happily found a home in England: his chief -pet at Tsarkoe was an ugly sandy and white kitten, which he once brought -from G.H.Q. This kitten he christened Zoubrovka, and bestowed a collar -and a bell on it as a signal mark of affection. “Zoubrovka” was no -respecter of palaces, and he used to wage war with the Grand Duchess -Tatiana’s bulldog “Artipo,” and light-heartedly overthrow all the family -photographs in the Tsaritsa’s boudoir. But “Zoubrovka” was a privileged -kitten, and I have often wondered what became of him when the Imperial -Family were taken to Tobolsk.</p> - -<p>All the children were fond of animals. The Grand Duchess Tatiana’s pet -was a bulldog called “Artipo,” who slept in her bedroom, much to the -annoyance of the Grand Duchess Olga, who disliked its propensity for -snoring. The Grand Duchess Marie favoured a Siamese cat, and, the year -before the Revolution, Anna Virouboff gave a little Pekinese dog to the -Grand Duchess Anastasie.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_85" id="page_85">{85}</a></span></p> - -<p>This little creature had a tragic history. Curiously enough many people -said that “Jimmi” seemed an unlucky dog; but he was a sweet little -creature, whose tiny legs were so short that he could not walk up or -down stairs. The Grand Duchess Anastasie always carried him, and “Jimmi” -lavished a Pekinese devotion on her and her sisters.</p> - -<p>“Jimmi” went with the family to Tobolsk, and he is now identified in -history with their fate. According to one account, his corpse was found, -preserved in ice, at the top of the disused mine shaft; another writer -has it that “Jimmi” defended his friends in the cellar at Ekaterinburg, -barking defiance at the murderers, and guarding Tatiana’s fainting body -until they were both killed. His skeleton is said to have been -discovered later in a clump of undergrowth, and subsequently identified -by its size and by a bullet hole in the skull.</p> - -<p>He was a dear little dog, and probably, could he have spoken, he would -have desired no better fate than to perish with those in whose fortunes -and affections he had equally participated.</p> - -<p>The Emperor greatly resembled King George V in appearance, but his eyes -were unforgettable; and those of his cousin, although fine, do not -possess the expression peculiar to the eyes of the Emperor. It was a -combination of melancholy, sweetness, resignation and tragedy: Nicholas -II seemed as if he saw into the tragic future, but he also seemed to see -the Heaven that lies beyond this earth. He was “God’s good man.” I can -give no higher praise, render him no more fitting homage.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_86" id="page_86">{86}</a></span></p> - -<p>He was essentially charming: when you were with him you forgot the -Emperor in the individual; he made formality impossible. He loved to -tease people, and I came in for my full share of this propensity. One -day when I was out walking at Livadia, several carriages passed me, but -I did not especially notice their occupants. The next evening when I was -dining at the Palace, the Emperor addressed me in grave tones: -“<i>Lili—ce n’est pas bien, vous comprenez, mais ne pas reconnaitre vos -amis</i>.”</p> - -<p>“<i>Mais, Votre Majesté, qu’est que vous voulez dire?</i>”</p> - -<p>“Well,” said the Emperor, “you <i>cut</i> me yesterday.”</p> - -<p>“Votre Majesté, it’s impossible!”</p> - -<p>“Ah ... it’s quite possible, Lili. I drove past you, and bowed to you -many times, but you wouldn’t recognise me. Tell me in what I’ve offended -you.” And he continued to tease me until I felt ready to die with -confusion. He loved his wife: no one has ever dared dispute the quality -of the affection which existed between them; theirs was an ideal -love-marriage, and when their love was tried in the furnace of -affliction it was not found wanting.</p> - -<p>Nicholas II had been reproached for his weakness of character, but this -weakness was not weakness in the literal sense. The Empress, who was -fully aware of what was said concerning the Emperor and herself, once -told me how utterly people misunderstood her husband. “He is accused of -weakness,” she said bitterly. “He is the strongest—not the weakest. I -assure you, Lili, that it cost the Emperor a tremendous effort<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_87" id="page_87">{87}</a></span> to -subdue the attacks of rage to which the Romanoffs are subject. He has -learnt the hard lesson of self-control, only to be called weak; people -forget that the greatest conqueror is he who conquers himself.”</p> - -<p>On another occasion she remarked that she knew that the Emperor and -herself were blamed for not surrounding themselves with genuine people.</p> - -<p>“It’s an extraordinary thing, Lili,” she said, “we’ve tried to find -genuine advisers for the last twenty years, but we’ve never found them. -I wonder whether any exist!”</p> - -<p>The Empress always resented the cruel slanders which were circulated -about the Emperor.</p> - -<p>“I wonder they don’t accuse him of being too good: that, at least, would -be true!” she cried.</p> - -<p>As for herself, she troubled little.</p> - -<p>“Why do people want to discuss me,” she said. “Why <i>can’t</i> they leave me -alone!” Again: “Why will people insist that I am pro-German? I have -spent twenty years in Germany, and twenty years in Russia. My interests, -and my son’s future lie in Russia: how, therefore, can I be anything but -Russian?”</p> - -<p>The Empress has been censured for exerting undue influence over her -husband, and this “pernicious” influence has made her the scapegoat for -all the ills which have befallen Russia. But her “influence” was merely -that of a good woman over a man. If she influenced the Emperor in any -other way, it was done unconsciously. I will never believe otherwise, -although, in making this assertion, I shall perhaps be confronted with -all kinds of hostile criticism. It will be asked by<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_88" id="page_88">{88}</a></span> what right I dare -defend a woman who has been tried and found guilty. But I dare to do so. -True, I am a person whose name is entirely unknown to the general -public, but it cannot be disputed by those who knew life at Tsarkoe Selo -and Petrograd that I was honoured by the Empress’s friendship and -confidence.</p> - -<p>The Emperor shared his wife’s “thoroughness”; he never believed anything -until (were it possible) he had tried it for himself. During the war, a -new uniform was submitted for the Emperor’s approval; he determined to -test its qualities, and he walked for twenty miles wearing it, in order -to see what weight was possible to carry with it. The sentinels failed -to recognise the Emperor when he passed them wearing the sample -“Tommy’s” kit, a fact which greatly amused him; but, as a result of his -practical experiment, the uniform (with certain alterations suggested by -the Emperor) was “passed.”</p> - -<p>The Empress put her husband first in everything—it was always “The -Emperor wishes it,” “The Emperor says so”; she was very tender towards -him, the maternal element was apparent in her love even for her husband: -she took care of him, but perhaps this arose chiefly from a feeling that -he suffered by reason of his love for her.</p> - -<p>As husband and wife they were indeed one. They only asked happiness of -life. The Emperor’s tastes were of the simplest, the Empress was shy and -retiring—both their dispositions were similar—and this similarity of -tastes, ideal in the usual walks of life, was fatal to both of them as -rulers. By this I do not for one moment wish to infer that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_89" id="page_89">{89}</a></span> they shirked -their responsibilities: far from it, they were always ready to assume -them, but they forgot that the times were out of joint, that it was -their duty always to live in the fierce light that beats upon a throne. -I do not think that by so doing they could have saved Russia. The case -of Nicholas II and Alexandra of Russia is almost parallel with that of -Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette. The Russian monarchs, like their French -prototypes, were called upon to reign over a country ripe for -Revolution, whose dragon’s teeth had been sown by the vicious hands of -their predecessors. France boasted as extravagant and exotic a society -as that of Russia: the writing was already to be seen on the walls of -Versailles and the Winter Palace, but the Sovereigns of Then and Now -heeded it not. Louis XVI wanted to be left alone in his workroom, to -make locks and to mend watches, and Marie Antoinette sighed for the -simple pleasures of the Trianon and the pastoral joys of a farmer’s -wife.</p> - -<p>Nicholas II did not care to be a locksmith, he merely wished to live the -quiet life of a well-bred gentleman: chivalrous by nature, he (and here -an English writer is correct) came nearer the British public-school idea -than any other. The Empress did not require a Trianon, she wanted a -home; but, although she loved Russia, Russia was always antagonistic to -her. This she never realised, any more than she recognised the fact that -the peasant class never wanted her to try and understand them.</p> - -<p>The Emperor was a clever man, and he possessed that wonderful memory for -faces peculiar to his uncle, King Edward VII. On one occasion<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_90" id="page_90">{90}</a></span> when my -husband was presented to the Emperor after receiving some special -decoration, a colonel of a Siberian regiment also attended the Levée. -The Emperor stretched out his hand to the colonel. “Surely I’ve seen you -before?” he enquired. “Yes, Your Majesty.” “Well, but <i>where</i>?” -continued the Emperor, in puzzled tones; then brightening, “Ah, I know,” -he said, “I met you twelve years ago when I passed through Saratof.”</p> - -<p>The chief pleasures of the Emperor were those appertaining to an outdoor -life. He was a good shot, fond of all kinds of sport, and his hands were -exceptionally powerful. Boating was a favourite amusement; he liked to -row in a small boat, or paddle a canoe, and the Emperor passed hours and -hours on the water when the Imperial Family were staying at Shker, in -Finland.</p> - -<p>Both the Emperor and the Empress disliked the Kaiser. I say this with -perfect sincerity, and in all truth. They rarely mentioned his name -before the war, and I know that his love of theatrical displays appealed -to neither of them. In 1903 the Emperor William arrived in his yacht at -Reval to witness a military review. The “Standart” with the Emperor of -Russia aboard was also at Reval. After the Kaiser had paid a formal call -on the Emperor, signals passed between the two yachts.</p> - -<p>“What’s all this?” asked the Emperor.</p> - -<p>An officer enlightened him.</p> - -<p>“Your Majesty,” said he, “the signal from the ‘Hohenzollern’ says: ‘The -Emperor of the Atlantic salutes the Emperor of the Pacific.’<span class="lftspc">”</span></p> - -<p>The Emperor looked cross.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_91" id="page_91">{91}</a></span></p> - -<p>“Oh, that’s it—well reply ‘Thank you’—that’s quite enough.”</p> - -<p>The Kaiser did not shine as a visitor to the “Standart”; the first thing -he did was to shake hands indiscriminately, a proceeding which caused -much amusement and confusion, and everyone was heartily glad when the -“Emperor of the Atlantic” took his departure.</p> - -<p>The Grand Duchesses disliked any mention of the Kaiser, but some of the -officers used to tease them about him. The usual question of any -privileged arrival at Tsarkoe Selo was: “Well, how is Uncle Willie -to-day?” And the invariable answer was: “No—no—he’s not our Uncle -Willie—we don’t want to hear his name.”</p> - -<p>Russia has been described as a country of tears and misery during the -war, but this is incorrect. The peasants were never so rich as at this -time, and there was no discontent in the country districts; the wives -received big allowances, and they earned extra money for themselves -without any difficulty. Every boy indulged in high patent-leather boots, -every girl spent money on dress. There were certainly tears for the -fallen, but there was no material misery in Russia.</p> - -<p>The Emperor had made great plans to help those disabled in the service -of their country. His idea was to give all wounded, disabled or -decorated soldiers gifts of Crown Lands at the end of the war. He -planned various land reforms, but the Revolutionaries incited the -landlords against him by telling them that the Emperor was going to be -generous at their expense, and not at his own!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_92" id="page_92">{92}</a></span></p> - -<p>It is impossible for an English public to realise the plots and -counter-plots which existed in Russia. The Empress, on many occasions, -barely escaped with her life; she was unpopular with all classes, but -she was unable, mercifully, to estimate the quality of the hatred meted -out to her. I do not think there is a single charge that has not been -laid at her door; she is credited with hysteria, religious mania, -pro-Germanism, the qualities of a Judas, the morals of a Messalina; she -has been described as the intriguing, strong-minded consort of a weak -man, a willing tool of an infamous sensualist, as well as being a -half-witch, and a half-mystic. The real Tsaritsa, firm in her -convictions, the devoted wife, mother and friend, is unknown. Her acts -of charity have been misconstrued, her religion has been made her shame, -the very nationality which she so willingly relinquished has become an -unmerited reproach. She knew and read all the reports concerning her, -but, although anonymous letters sought to vilify her, and journalism -bespattered her with filth, nothing touched her serenity of soul.</p> - -<p>I have seen her grow pale, and I have watched her eyes slowly fill with -tears when something exceptionally vile came under her notice. But -Alexandra Feodrovna was able to see the stars shining far above the mud -of the streets.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_93" id="page_93">{93}</a></span></p> - -<h3><a name="CHAPTER_V-a" id="CHAPTER_V-a"></a>CHAPTER V</h3> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I am</span> going to write of Gregory Rasputin as I knew him. My personal -acquaintance with him lasted from 1910 to 1916, but I know that I might -as well attempt to cleanse the Augean stables single-handed, as to be -believed if I say one word in his defence. As a man, and as an infamous -figure in history, he matters little to me, and, knowing the popular -prejudice against him, I hesitated to mention his name in these pages. -But I was urged to do so; it was represented to me that my silence might -be equivalent to an acknowledgment, not only of his guilt, but also of -that of the Empress. This last consideration decided me to forgo my -resolution, and to write a faithful record of the man who was supposed -to play such an important rôle during the last few years of the Russian -Empire.</p> - -<p>If I say that I never saw the evil side of Gregory Rasputin I shall be -called a liar or a fool—perhaps, more chivalrously, the latter. It is, -however, the truth when I say that we never saw the evil side of him. -May I, therefore, plead for a hearing on the grounds that some men -possess dual natures, and that they adapt these to the company in which -they find themselves? I have heard of men who at home have led most -moral lives, leading elsewhere existences before which an up-to-date -French novel is as naught.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_94" id="page_94">{94}</a></span> Yet they never betrayed themselves to their -nearest and dearest. Their friends were likewise deceived. Perhaps this -dark side was never discovered, and they died and were buried as -undefiled Christians. But even if something unforeseen had disclosed the -man’s secret orchard, his inner life, and his frailities, their -existence even then would most probably have been disbelieved by those -who had known him intimately for years.</p> - -<p>A person tells you that your dearest friend is a liar and a sensualist. -Do you believe him? Rarely, I think, if you are worthy to call yourself -a friend. You advise the traducer to make himself or herself scarce, -and, if you allow your mind to become poisoned by slow dropping venom, -you place yourself at once on a level with the slanderer.</p> - -<p>The Empress refused to believe ill of Rasputin because she had never -seen the evil side of him, and also because both she and the Emperor had -extended the hand of friendship to him. There was no question of -affection in her continual refusal to disown him, no phase of the -passing passions which distinguished Catherine the Great, and which were -so kindly tolerated by her subjects. The Empress inherited much of her -illustrious grandmother’s tenacity of purpose, and she refused to be -dictated to. In this, she was the woman of character who resembled Queen -Victoria. I do not wish to compare Rasputin with John Brown—they are as -the poles apart—but what I wish to point out in connection with both of -these persons, is that Queen Victoria and the Empress called John Brown -and Gregory Rasputin<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_95" id="page_95">{95}</a></span> their friends, and neither family disapproval nor -public censure was a sufficient reason in their eyes to merit the -sacrifice of a friend. There the similarity ends.</p> - -<p>Gregory Rasputin arrived in Petrograd from Siberia on a pilgrimage, -walking the entire way with irons on his body in order to make his -progress more painful and difficult. If a pilgrim were to arrive in -London from Edinburgh in similar circumstances he would be taken before -a magistrate, and most probably sent to a lunatic asylum; these things -do not happen in England, but they were of daily occurrence in Russia. -We were so accustomed to the miraculous that I do not think the average -Russian would have manifested any surprise if he had been accosted in -the street by the Angel Gabriel!</p> - -<p>Rasputin had been introduced by certain people to Germogen, a priest and -a friend of Elidor, who possessed great influence in the region of the -Volga. Elidor’s dominant idea was to found a particular sect of his own, -but he failed to do so, and he was ultimately dismissed from authority. -This, he attributed, rightly or wrongly, to Rasputin. Germogen was a -firm believer in Rasputin’s spiritual powers, and he was also much -interested in his arduous pilgrimage. In fact, so greatly was he -impressed that he decided to introduce the “staretz” to the Grand -Duchess Peter, formerly Princess Meliza of Montenegro, and to her sister -the Grand Duchess Anastasia, the wife of the Grand Duke Nicholas. Both -these Princesses were addicted to mysticism; I may describe them as -“soulful.” Rasputin impressed them equally as much as he had impressed -Germogen,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_96" id="page_96">{96}</a></span> and they talked everywhere about their wonderful “discovery.”</p> - -<p>At this time the two Grand Duchesses were on very friendly terms with -the Empress, and it is not to be wondered that, little by little, her -curiosity was aroused, and at last she and the Emperor expressed a wish -to see Rasputin.</p> - -<p>The “staretz” was in due course presented to Their Majesties. Once again -I repeat that such things could only happen in Russia, and it is -therefore impossible to judge the Rasputin affair from an English -standpoint. This uncouth peasant who came into the presence of Their -Majesties barefooted, wearing the clumsy irons of penance, was in nowise -impressed by his surroundings—he spoke freely to the Emperor, who was -struck, like many others, by Rasputin’s sincerity. The interview was not -productive of any notable result, so far as Rasputin was concerned; it -was merely an interesting incident, and when I first knew the Empress -she never mentioned the name of Rasputin.</p> - -<p>In my opinion, and I speak in all sincerity, I believe that Rasputin was -the unconscious tool of the Revolution. If John of Cronstadt had lived -in 1910 to 1916, he would have been called another Rasputin. It was -necessary for the Revolutionaries to find someone whose name they could -couple with that of the Empress—a name whose connection with the -Imperial Family would destroy their prestige with the higher classes, as -well as nullifying the veneration of the peasant class. A member of the -Duma once heckled one of the Revolutionary party on the question of -Rasputin:</p> - -<p><a name="ill_5" id="ill_5"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/ill_015-a.jpg" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /> -<div class="caption"><p>H.I.M. THE TSAR - -Surrounded by the Officers of the Royal Yacht ‘Standart’</p></div> -</div> - -<p><a name="ill_6" id="ill_6"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/ill_015-b.jpg" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /> -<div class="caption"><p>THE EMPRESS - -On board the Royal Yacht ‘Standart’</p></div> -</div> - -<p><a name="ill_7" id="ill_7"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/ill_015-c.jpg" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /> -<div class="caption"><p>H.I.M. THE TSAR WITH THE TSAREVITCH - -On board the Tender going out to the Royal Yacht ‘Standart’</p></div> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_97" id="page_97">{97}</a></span></p> - -<p>“Why,” said he, “don’t you kill Rasputin if you are so against him?”</p> - -<p>He received this surprising but wholly truthful reply:</p> - -<p>“Kill Rasputin! Why, we should like him to live for ever! He represents -our salvation!”</p> - -<p>Rasputin’s position was many-sided. One section of Society looked upon -him as a “cult,” and I have no doubt that there was a certain -pathological interest in this. Another group formed a mystical -conception of him as a “teacher,” and a more material clique courted -him, hoping thereby to gain influence with the Empress. The shame lies -not so much with Rasputin as with those who “exploited” him.</p> - -<p>At one time Rasputin was the guest of a well-known general, but, when -this gentleman discovered that there was nothing to be gained by his -hospitality, he quickly dropped his one-time acquaintance, and Rasputin -took up his quarters in a small flat where he was supported by voluntary -contributions. It was a humble abode, the “staretz” lived on the meanest -food, and it was only during the last year of his life that he received -presents of wine.</p> - -<p>Anna Virouboff met Rasputin for the first time when she had just made up -her mind to leave her husband. As I have said, her marriage with -Lieutenant Virouboff had turned out disastrously, and their relations -terminated in a most distressing manner. It so happened that once, when -Anna was entertaining the Empress and General Orloff, Lieutenant -Virouboff arrived unexpectedly from sea, and, as the police did not -recognise him, he was refused admittance to his<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_98" id="page_98">{98}</a></span> own house. There was a -terrible scene between him and his wife after the Empress left, and Anna -was beaten unmercifully. Anna then refused to live with him any longer, -and returned to her parents. This affair created a great scandal, and, -in order to console Anna, the “Montenegrin” Grand Duchesses took her to -see Rasputin.</p> - -<p>I cannot say whether or no this was a mistake. I am inclined to think -that it was a well-meant error, as Anna Virouboff was a super-sensitive, -rather neurotic person, easily impressed by an effective <i>mise en -scène</i>. And this <i>mise en scène</i> was amply provided for her. The -heart-broken and insulted young wife was received at the Palace of the -Grand Duchess Anastasia with immense ceremony, and what took place is -best described as an emotional prayer meeting.</p> - -<p>Suddenly a door opened and Gregory Rasputin made his appearance. He -walked into the midst of the overwrought worshippers, untouched by their -exaltation. He radiated peace, and he personified the Strong Man beloved -as an ideal by the majority of women. To Anna, the shattered and the -disillusioned, Rasputin typified the calm that comes after a great -storm; he prayed with her, he consoled her, she felt that she could -confide in him. She was utterly oblivious of the social gulf which -separated them. Rasputin was something to lean on, and Anna always leant -on somebody; this weak, lovable, credulous creature was unable to stand -alone. And in this way their intimacy began. I am sure that Anna was -never in love with the <i>man</i> (although she was always in love with -someone), but his chief influence over her was that of the priest.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_99" id="page_99">{99}</a></span></p> - -<p>I believe that at this time the Empress saw Rasputin occasionally, but -he was chiefly to be found in the company of the two Grand Duchesses who -had “discovered” him, and who now reported that Rasputin was undoubtedly -a “seer.” This annoyed the Emperor, and, the next time he saw Rasputin, -he asked him to tell him <i>how</i> he “saw” true.</p> - -<p>“Your Majesty, I know nothing of clairvoyancy,” said Rasputin.</p> - -<p>“Then why have the Grand Duchesses asserted that you possess clairvoyant -gifts?” replied the Emperor, crossly; and, when the Empress put the same -question to Rasputin, she received the same reply.</p> - -<p>The real reason for this report will never be known. It was in all -probability political, but, after Rasputin had disowned clairvoyancy, -the two Grand Duchesses disowned their protegé and sided with Germogen -against him. The commencement of endless intrigues dates from this -period, as Elidor and Germogen were afraid that Rasputin would become -more important than themselves.</p> - -<p>I must now deal with Rasputin’s alleged influence over the Empress. -There is no doubt that her subconscious belief in his spiritual powers -was confirmed by the long arm of coincidence. The Tsarevitch fell ill, -the attack was severe and his parents were frantic. If any mother with -an only son reads these pages, she will admit that the word “frantic” -best describes the feelings of a mother at such a crisis. The Empress -was literally beside herself; it was then that someone suggested that -Rasputin should be<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_100" id="page_100">{100}</a></span> sent for. When he arrived he bade the despairing -parents hope. He prayed by the bedside of the Tsarevitch, and it seemed -that directly he did so the child began to get better. There is not the -slightest truth in the film and “novel” versions of the incident; -coincidence, and coincidence alone, was responsible for the Tsarevitch’s -recovery at the moment of Rasputin’s impassioned prayers.</p> - -<p>I met Rasputin just before the Germogen scandals. My husband had gone to -Copenhagen to escort the Empress Marie thither on the “Pole Star,” and -he was anxious for me to join him. To do this would have entailed -leaving Titi with my mother, and I was reluctant to do so, although -naturally desirous of acceding to my husband’s wishes. Thus I was in -somewhat of a dilemma. Anna noticed I was worried and unhappy.</p> - -<p>“Look here, Lili, there’s someone who can help you,” she said.</p> - -<p>“Who?” I asked.</p> - -<p>“Gregory Rasputin,” she answered.</p> - -<p>I was not anxious to meet Rasputin—I did not possess the boundless -belief in him which characterised Anna, but I agreed, to humour her, and -she took me to Rasputin’s eyrie (I say eyrie, since his flat was high up -under the roof), and then left me.</p> - -<p>I waited for some time alone in a little study until a man came in so -noiselessly that I was almost unaware of his presence. It was Rasputin! -Our eyes met, and I was instantly struck by his uncanny appearance. At a -first glance, he appeared to be a typical peasant from the frozen North, -but his eyes held mine, those shining steel-like eyes which seemed to -read one’s inmost thoughts. His face was pale and thin, his hair<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_101" id="page_101">{101}</a></span> long, -and his beard a lighter chestnut. Rasputin was not tall, but he gave one -the impression of being so; he was dressed as a Russian peasant, and -wore the high boots, loose shirt and long, black coat of the moujik. He -came forward and took my hand.</p> - -<p>“Ah ... I see. Thou art worried.” (He “tutoyed” everybody). -“Well—nothing in life is worth worrying over—‘tout passe’—you -understand—that’s the best outlook.”</p> - -<p>He became serious.</p> - -<p>“It is necessary to have Faith. God alone is thy help. Thou art torn -between thy husband and thy child. Which of them is the weaker? Thou -think’st that thy child is the more helpless. This is not so. A child -can do nothing in his weakness—a man can do much.”</p> - -<p>Rasputin advised me to go to Copenhagen, but I did not go. I left -Petrograd next day for the country—perhaps out of bravado! But the -impression which Rasputin had produced on me was very vivid. I was at -once attracted, repelled, disquieted and reassured; nevertheless, his -eyes were productive of a feeling of terror and repugnance, and I made -no answer when the Empress greeted me with the words: “So, Lili, you’ve -seen our friend? He’ll always help you.”</p> - -<p>My second meeting with Rasputin took place in the winter. Titi was -seriously ill, it was thought that diphtheric conditions would set in, -and the poor little boy lay tossing from side to side in delirium. Anna, -who made constant enquiries, at last ’phoned. “Lili,” she said, “my -advice is—ask Gregory to come and pray.” I hesitated—I knew my -husband’s distaste for anything<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_102" id="page_102">{102}</a></span> touching the supernatural. But, when I -saw how ill Titi was, I hesitated no longer. At any rate, no one could -possibly condemn the prayers offered for a sick child. Rasputin promised -to come at once, and he arrived in company with an old woman who was -dressed as a nun. This quaint creature refused to enter the boy’s -bedroom, and sat on the stairs, praying.</p> - -<p>“Don’t wake Titi,” I whispered, as we entered the nursery, for I was -afraid that the sudden appearance of this strange peasant might frighten -the child. Rasputin made no reply, but sat down by the bedside and -looked long and intently at the sleeper. He then knelt and prayed. When -he rose from his knees he bent over Titi.</p> - -<p>“Don’t wake him,” I repeated.</p> - -<p>“Silence—I <i>must</i>.”</p> - -<p>Rasputin placed a finger on either side of Titi’s nose. The child -instantly awoke, looked at the stranger unafraid, and addressed him by -the playful name which Russian children give to old people. Rasputin -talked to him, and Titi told him that his head ached “ever so badly.”</p> - -<p>“Never mind,” said Rasputin, his steel eyes full of strange lights. -Then, addressing me: “To-morrow thy child will be well. Let me know if -this is not so.” And, bidding us farewell, he departed with his odd -escort.</p> - -<p>Directly Rasputin had gone the child fell asleep, and the next morning -the threatened symptoms had disappeared, and his temperature was normal. -In a few days, greatly to the doctor’s amazement, he was quite well. -After this, I could hardly dispute Rasputin’s peculiar powers, and I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_103" id="page_103">{103}</a></span> -always saw him whenever he came to the Palace—this, on an average, -about once a month.</p> - -<p>It is only fair to Rasputin to say that he derived no material benefits -from these visits, in fact, he once complained to me that he was never -even given his cab-fares!</p> - -<p>Rasputin’s influence over the Empress was purely mystical. She had -always believed in the power of prayer—Rasputin strengthened her in -this belief, and I am sure that her perplexed soul was soothed by his -ministrations. There was absolutely no sensual attraction. It gives me -intense pain to touch on this subject, but I must not shrink from what I -consider to be my duty. I have heard the most dreadful stories of the -Empress—how, in the spirit of sacrifice she gave herself, and those -dear children to Rasputin, in order to prove that the sacrifice of the -body was acceptable to God. Such a monstrous thing never happened. But -when I have defended her, and said that Rasputin was a common man, -unpleasing to look on, dirty in his habits and uncouth in every respect, -I have been told that these defects matter nothing in certain types of -sensualism. I have put forward the indisputable fact that the Empress -was an intensely fastidious woman, that she possessed no “animal” -propensities, that her morals were the ultra-strict morals of her -grandmother. The answer to this has been that many fastidious and -super-moral women have been guilty of incomprehensible lapses, solely by -reason of their fastidious and moral qualities. If such examples exist, -why should not the Empress have done likewise?</p> - -<p>I am confronted at every turn by these reports,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_104" id="page_104">{104}</a></span> and people say -pityingly: “Well, of course, you <i>loved</i> the Empress.” That is so ... -but <i>I also knew</i> the Empress. The Emperor’s attitude in the Rasputin -scandal ought alone to destroy these accusations, as the Empress never -saw Rasputin without the knowledge and consent of her husband. Even -assuming Nicholas II to be a weak man, entirely under the domination of -his wife, he would certainly have been man enough, husband enough, and -father enough, never to have countenanced any immoral relations between -Rasputin and his family. The Emperor was primarily a Christian and a -gentleman, but he was likewise a Romanoff and an Emperor. In these -capacities he would have meted out the only possible punishment for such -an offence. When he was told the “outside” scandals concerning Rasputin, -he would not credit them. And why not? <i>Simply because they were so -bad</i>; had they been less so, the Emperor might have listened. It is a -great mistake for anyone to attempt to destroy any friendship by -describing the person whose ruin is contemplated as being entirely -worthless. The desired result is obtained far more easily by damning him -or her with faint praise!</p> - -<p>When various people reproached the Empress for being on terms of -friendship with a common peasant, and for believing that he was endowed -with the attributes of holiness, she replied that Our Lord did not -choose well-born members of Jewish society for His followers. All His -disciples except St. Luke were men of humble origin. I am inclined to -think that she placed Rasputin on a level with St. John ... both were, -in her opinion, mystics.</p> - -<p><a name="ill_8" id="ill_8"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<a href="images/ill_004-a_lg.jpg"> -<img src="images/ill_004-a.jpg" width="240" height="359" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a> -<div class="caption"><p>GRAND DUCHESS OLGA</p></div> -</div> - -<p><a name="ill_9" id="ill_9"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<a href="images/ill_004-b_lg.jpg"> -<img src="images/ill_004-b.jpg" width="235" height="362" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a> -<div class="caption"><p>GRAND DUCHESS TATIANA</p></div> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_105" id="page_105">{105}</a></span></p> - -<p>She was perfectly frank in her belief in Rasputin’s powers of healing. -The Empress was convinced that certain individuals possess this gift, -and that Rasputin was one. When it was urged that the services of the -most skilled physicians were at her disposal, she gave the invariable -answer: “I believe in Rasputin.” As for the stories that Rasputin and -Anna Virouboff gave the Tsarevitch poisons and antidotes, I dismiss -these with contempt—they belong solely to sensational fiction. Anna -Virouboff would have been too frightened to give a kitten a dose of -medicine, much less would she have tampered with the medicines given to -the Tsarevitch.</p> - -<p>The first grave scandal which assailed the Empress in connection with -Rasputin was the discovery and publication of a letter written by her, -in which she made use of the expression: “<i>Je veux reposer mon âme -auprès de vous</i>.” The enemies of Rasputin were fully aware that he was -guilty of the fatal habit of keeping interesting letters, so Rasputin -(always desirous of popularity) was invited to meet certain influential -people, and, on his way to the rendezvous, he was attacked and robbed, -and all the correspondence which he carried on him was stolen.</p> - -<p>In due time the contents of the Empress’s letter were published, and -this did her tremendous harm. Even the Duma took the worst view of the -much quoted sentence, “<i>Je veux reposer mon âme auprès de vous</i>.” But -that expression was not used at all in the physical meaning. The Empress -merely wished to tell her friend that her soul was desirous of spiritual -consolation.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_106" id="page_106">{106}</a></span></p> - -<p>Since I have lived in England, I have constantly met women who pin their -faith in certain spiritual and physical advisers. Most Catholics have a -special confessor to whom they invariably repair, just as most people -have one particular doctor in whom they trust—most representatives of -any denomination have their especial following. It is solely a question -of one individual meeting the requirements of another.</p> - -<p>The Emperor was very much troubled over the attacks which were made on -the Empress. But both he and the Empress possessed a mistaken sense of -their responsibilities in connection with Rasputin, and this mistaken -sense of responsibility was to prove the ultimate destruction of both -Rasputin and themselves. The Imperial couple resolutely refused to throw -him over. In this decision the Emperor was as one with the Empress; -perhaps they “humanly” declined to admit the right of anyone to dictate -to them ... but, be that as it may, Rasputin’s position remained -undisturbed.</p> - -<p>It is well known that Rasputin condemned hostilities, but it is not -equally well known that he tried to stop the declaration of war. -Nevertheless, when mobilization began, he wired to Anna, saying: “The -war must be stopped—war must <i>not</i> be declared; it will be the end of -all things.” No notice whatever was taken of this telegram, for the -excellent reason that Rasputin’s political influence was <i>nil</i>; he had, -in fact, no influence in material matters, although many have thought -otherwise.</p> - -<p>General Beletsky once asked Rasputin to speak to the Emperor and suggest -his name as<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_107" id="page_107">{107}</a></span> Governor-General of Finland. Rasputin promised to do so, -and mentioned the matter to the Emperor, in the presence of the Empress. -The Emperor listened, but made no comment. General Beletsky was never -appointed.</p> - -<p>It seems impossible to obtain a logical hearing on behalf of either the -Empress or Rasputin. All kinds of reports have been circulated in -connection with the latter’s excesses and debaucheries. There may have -been some truth that Rasputin’s private life was not all that it should -have been, but I assert most solemnly that we never saw the slightest -trace of impropriety in word, manner or behaviour when he was with us at -Tsarkoe Selo.</p> - -<p>Prince Orloff, the head of the Chancellerie Militaire, never made any -pretence of liking or even tolerating the Empress. He experienced a sort -of nervous repugnance to meeting her, and it was common knowledge that -he took quantities of valerian in order to steady his nerves, whenever -it was necessary for him to see her. The Empress was aware of this.</p> - -<p>“I saw Prince Orloff to-day,” she said to me, “he was reeking of -valerian. Poor man, what an effort it must cost him to speak to me.”</p> - -<p>The Prince exercised no discretion whatever in his statements about the -Empress and Rasputin; he seemed impelled to disparage her—his hatred -amounted almost to a ’phobia—and at last the Emperor lost patience with -him and sent him to the Caucasus.</p> - -<p>Princess Olga Orloff was received shortly afterwards by the Empress. The -Empress was very fond of Olga, but it was a very unpleasant<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_108" id="page_108">{108}</a></span> interview, -as the Princess tried to explain that her husband had been grossly -maligned. The Empress described the interview to me:</p> - -<p>“I’ve had a dreadful time, Lili,” she said, “Olga Orloff has just been. -I’m very, very sorry for her, she’s in a terrible state. When I rose, -she began to speak most wildly, and to insist that her husband was -devoted to me and to our interests. I knew that, if I were to sit down, -I should burst into tears; so I kept standing. It was an awful moment.”</p> - -<p>Rasputin always had a presentiment of a violent death. He often -remarked, with an air of profound conviction: “Whilst I’m alive all will -be well, but, after my death, rivers of blood will flow. Nothing, -however, will happen to ‘Father’ and ‘Mother’<span class="lftspc">”</span>—this was his way of -alluding to the Emperor and Empress. About this time an old woman, a -disciple of Elidor’s, came to see Rasputin one night, wearing a white -dress plentifully trimmed with scarlet ribbons.</p> - -<p>Rasputin reproved her for this display.</p> - -<p>“How awful of you to wear these red ribbons,” he said.</p> - -<p>“Ah,” replied the old woman. “I <i>know</i> why I wear red.”</p> - -<p>“And she knew full well,” said Rasputin, gloomily, when describing the -incident to me. “Red is the colour of blood—and blood will soon be as -plentiful as her scarlet ribbons.”</p> - -<p>Everyone who loved the Imperial Family was horrified at the ever -increasing scandals; the wildest reports, mostly lies, with a -sub-stratum of truth were current, and Rasputin was even said to have -been sinning in Petrograd<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_109" id="page_109">{109}</a></span> when he was actually in Siberia. It was -impossible to persuade the Empress that popular feeling was against her. -True, she heard what was said, and she occasionally read what was -imputed to her, but she paid no attention to gossip or to mendacious -paragraphs. She was obsessed by her religion, and she sent me and Anna -Virouboff on a pilgrimage to Tobolsk in the summer of 1916. A new saint -had been recently canonized at Tobolsk, and the Empress had made a vow -to go thither herself, or to send a substitute. Anna asked me to -consent, as she was afraid to travel alone, and, as the Empress begged -me to go, I could do no less than prove my devotion to her wishes.</p> - -<p>When I arrived at Petrograd I discovered that Rasputin was to travel -with us. I could not help thinking that, in view of popular feeling, it -was most ill-advised to advertise the expedition, but I dared not -suggest this. We left Petrograd in the greatest publicity.... A special -saloon carriage was attached to the train ... it was a progress of -publicity, wires were sent in advance all along the line to announce our -advent, and crowds thronged the stations to catch a glimpse of us.</p> - -<p>At last, late in the evening, we arrived at Tumen, and from thence we -took the steamer to Tobolsk. Little did I dream that, in a year’s time, -the Imperial Family were to make the same pilgrimage—of which the whole -journey was to prove indeed a Via Dolorosa! They, too, were to see the -black and swiftly flowing river, and the wild Tartar villages on its -banks, and, like myself, they were to see the city on the mountain, with -its<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_110" id="page_110">{110}</a></span> churches and houses sharply silhouetted against the fast darkening -sky.</p> - -<p>We were received at Tobolsk by the Governor, the chief officials, and -the Church dignitary, Varnava, and we were afterwards taken to our -quarters in the Governor’s house, where I slept in the little room which -the Emperor, a year later, used as his study.</p> - -<p>The next day we visited the saint’s grave, and attended a very -impressive service in the Cathedral. Rasputin stayed with the priest, -but, unfortunately, he quarrelled with Varnava, so matters became -somewhat strained, and I was not sorry when our two days’ visit came to -an end.</p> - -<p>On the way back to Tumen, Rasputin made a point of us stopping at his -village and seeing his wife. I was rather intrigued at this, as I had -always wondered how and where he lived, and I felt quite interested when -I saw the dark grey, carved wooden house which was the home of Rasputin. -The village consisted of a group of small wooden houses built on two -floors. Rasputin’s house was, perhaps, a little larger than the others, -and he said that he hoped one day Their Majesties would visit him.</p> - -<p>“But it’s too far,” I said—aghast at the proposal.</p> - -<p>Rasputin was angry. “They <i>must</i>,” he declared, and, a few minutes -afterwards, he added the prophetic words: “Willing or unwilling, they -will come to Tobolsk, and they will see my village before they die.”</p> - -<p>We remained one day at Rasputin’s house. His wife was a charming, -sensible woman, and the peasants were a fine type—honest, simple folk, -who<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_111" id="page_111">{111}</a></span> cultivated the fields belonging to Rasputin, and accepted no -payment for so doing—working absolutely in the spirit of holiness.</p> - -<p>Rasputin had three children—the two girls were being educated in -Petrograd, but the boy was quite a peasant. Everyone was friendly, but -most of the villagers were strongly against Rasputin’s returning to -Petrograd.</p> - -<p>As we had decided to go on to Ekaterinburg, and from thence to the -Convent of Verchoutouria, I thought it would be a good idea to persuade -Rasputin to remain with his people. This he refused to do; I told Anna -that there must be no more gossip, and that she must persuade Rasputin -to leave us. She promised to do so, but at the last moment he went with -us to Ekaterinburg.</p> - -<p>I shall never forget my first impression of this fatal town. Directly we -got out of the train, I felt a sense of calamity—we were all affected; -Rasputin was ill at ease, Anna perceptibly nervous, and I was heartily -glad when we reached the Convent of Verchoutouria, which is situated on -the left bank of the river Toura. We stayed a night in the guest house -attached to the Convent, and then Rasputin asked us to go into the woods -with him and visit a hermit who was locally supposed to be a very holy -man.</p> - -<p>This pilgrimage must appear entirely foolish in the eyes of English -readers. I try and put myself in their place, and imagine what the -English public would think if the “Daily Mail” announced that Queen Mary -had sent two of her friends on such an expedition.</p> - -<p>“This couldn’t happen—Queen Mary is far too sensible,” you will say.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_112" id="page_112">{112}</a></span></p> - -<p>No doubt Queen Mary <i>is</i> far too sensible ... such a thing could never -happen in England, and I am only relating it in order to prove that, -once again, it is impossible to judge Russia from an English standpoint.</p> - -<p>The hermit lived in the heart of the forest and his hermitage might -easily have been taken for a poultry farm. He was surrounded by fowls of -all sizes and descriptions. Perhaps he considered fowls akin to -holiness; he gave quantities of eggs to the Convent, but we supped -frugally off cold water and black bread. The hermit had no use for beds, -so we slept miserably on the hard, unyielding floor of dried mud, and I -must confess that I was glad when we returned to Verchoutouria and we -were able to sleep and bath in comfort.</p> - -<p>Rasputin decided to take leave of us at Verchoutouria, so we went on -alone to Perm, where our saloon carriage was coupled to another train. -Crowds came to stare at Anna, and some of their comments made me feel -very uneasy. There was much dissatisfaction, and, when our saloon was -uncoupled, it was done so forcibly that the carriage was almost -derailed, and I was thrown from one end to the other. But we returned to -Petrograd safely, there to be welcomed and thanked by the Empress.</p> - -<p>“After all, Lili,” said Anna, now prostrate with nerves and a heart -attack, “we must believe that God <i>likes</i> us to endure.”</p> - -<p>I do not know whether this remark was reminiscent of the hermitage, or -of the saloon carriage, but I was able honestly to thank God that I was -once more within a civilized area.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_113" id="page_113">{113}</a></span></p> - -<p>Rasputin did not stay long in his village; he returned to Petrograd, and -the brazen voice of scandal was again heard. One day, in 1916, when I -was at Reval, the Empress telegraphed asking me to come and see her.</p> - -<p>I obeyed, and found her alone, looking sad, and obviously much troubled -in her mind. She did not, at first, touch on the subject nearest her -heart; then, all at once, she told me how hard she thought it of people -to speak against her so bitterly.</p> - -<p>“I know <i>all</i>, Lili,” she said. “Why does Gregory stop in Petrograd? The -Emperor doesn’t wish it. I don’t. And yet we can’t possibly discard -him—he’s done no wrong. Oh, why won’t he see his folly?”</p> - -<p>“I’ll do all in my power, Madame, to make him do so,” I replied. My -heart overflowed with love for the Empress, she seemed so utterly -broken, so tragically sad.</p> - -<p>“I’ve already reproached Anna for not helping me in the matter,” -continued the Empress, and she gave me her permission to go at once to -the house in Gorohovaya Street where Rasputin lived. I went with Anna.</p> - -<p>We did not find Rasputin alone. It was tea time and he was surrounded by -a little crowd of admirers. Next to him sat his <i>âme damnée</i>, Akilina -Laptinsky, the secret agent, under whose skilful tutelage Rasputin -unconsciously played the well-planned game of the Revolutionaries. -Akilina posed as a Sister of Charity, and many people believed in her; -she possessed great influence with Rasputin, and in his unguarded -moments he made many deplorable confidences in Akilina, who used<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_114" id="page_114">{114}</a></span> -everything she heard in a way detrimental to the Imperial Family.</p> - -<p>Akilina disliked me: she thought Anna was a weak fool, but I imagine -that she regarded me as a foe more worthy of her steel. I acknowledged -her presence, and I asked Rasputin if I could speak to him in private.</p> - -<p>“But certainly,” he answered, and we went into the next room, Akilina -following us.</p> - -<p>“And now?” enquired Rasputin, seating himself.</p> - -<p>I did not mince matters.</p> - -<p>“Gregory,” I said bluntly, “you must leave Petrograd at once. You can -pray for Their Majesties equally well in Siberia. You <i>must</i> go—for -their sakes, I implore you. Go—You know what is said—if you insist -upon remaining, it will only mean danger for us all.”</p> - -<p>Rasputin considered me gravely—he did not speak. I could see Anna’s -“hurt child” look, I could feel Akilina’s sinister scrutiny. Then -Rasputin uttered these unexpected words:</p> - -<p>“Perhaps thou art right. I’m sick and tired of it all. I’ll go.”</p> - -<p>But a surprising interruption occurred. Akilina banged her clenched fist -on the table, and confronted me with rage in her eyes.</p> - -<p>“How <i>dare</i> you try and control the Father’s spirit?” she screamed. “I -say that he <i>must</i> stay. Who are you?—why, a nobody—you are too -insignificant to judge what is best for anyone.”</p> - -<p>Silence, pregnant with meaning, fell in the little room. Anna was -crying, Rasputin said nothing, but I still defied Akilina: the thought -of the Empress gave me courage.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_115" id="page_115">{115}</a></span></p> - -<p>“Are you going to listen to the Sister?” I demanded coldly.</p> - -<p>Akilina recommenced her table-banging.</p> - -<p>“If you leave Petrograd, Father, you’ll have bad luck—you are <i>not</i> to -go.”</p> - -<p>“Well—well—” said Rasputin helplessly, “perhaps thou art right. I -shall stay.”</p> - -<p>My efforts were unavailing. Rasputin could be as obstinate as a mule; -and so, greatly distressed, I returned to the Palace. The Empress was -very disappointed.</p> - -<p>“I wonder why the Sister was so against my wishes,” she said.</p> - -<p>Later on we understood. I think that, despite her plotting and -contriving, Akilina really had some affection for Rasputin, and she was -occasionally ashamed of her Judas-like rôle. I remember that once, when -Rasputin left Petrograd on a visit to his family, I went to see him off, -and there, naturally, I encountered Akilina. As the train steamed out of -the station she burst into tears—genuine tears; I saw there was no -hypocrisy in her grief. Although I disliked Akilina, I felt sorry for -her.</p> - -<p>“You’d better let me drive you home,” I said.</p> - -<p>She accepted my offer, but in the car her tears recommenced.</p> - -<p>“Whatever is the matter?” I enquired. “You’ll see the Father again.”</p> - -<p>Akilina raised her tear-drenched eyes.</p> - -<p>“Ah—you know <i>nothing</i>—if you only knew—if you only knew what I -know.”</p> - -<p>Surely this remark must have implied that she possessed some inner -knowledge which terrified her, and which may have made her -conscience-stricken.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_116" id="page_116">{116}</a></span></p> - -<p>Akilina nursed Anna at Tsarkoe Selo when she was ill with the measles, -but on the second day of the Revolution she sent me a note, asking me to -come over to the left wing of the Palace. She then informed me that Anna -was delirious....</p> - -<p>“However, I can’t do much for her. Will you tell Her Majesty that I must -go into town for a day. I want to see Gregory’s family.”</p> - -<p>I promised to deliver the message, but we never saw Akilina again. A -fortnight later we were told that she was living in the family of one of -the most prominent Revolutionaries.</p> - -<p>Another “Sister,” Voskoboinikova, equally associated with Rasputin, was -head matron of Anna’s hospital. She was, likewise, a great friend of M. -Protopopoff, the Minister of the Interior, who used to spend hours in -her company. Voskoboinikova possessed a certain fascination, but she was -very inquisitive, and we equally disliked each other. Following the -example of Akilina, she left Tsarkoe on the second day of the -Revolution, but, the night before relinquishing her position at the -hospital, she gave a dinner to the convalescent soldiers, when wine -flowed freely and all sorts of seditious speeches were made. The -soldiers were told to look to Petrograd for freedom, and that revolvers -and bullets were fine things. Truly women had their uses during the -Revolution!</p> - -<p>But to return to Rasputin. The feeling against him daily assumed larger -proportions. Elidor once sent a woman to kill him, and the Father was -badly wounded in the stomach, but it is untrue to say that Anna -Virouboff nursed him during the illness which ensued. She never -attempted to do so.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_117" id="page_117">{117}</a></span></p> - -<p>Prince Felix Yousopoff, whose name will always be connected with the -tragedy of Rasputin, first met him at the house of Mme Golovina, a -sister-in-law of the Grand Duke Paul. The demoiselle Golovina greatly -admired Felix Yousopoff, in fact her “flamme” for him was well known. -Some considerable time elapsed between the first meeting of Prince Felix -and Rasputin: I spent the next two years chiefly in Reval, but I used to -pay a fortnightly visit to the Empress, and, after my husband was sent -to England, I went to Petrograd, where I saw the Empress daily. I was -very surprised when she told me that Felix Yousopoff was a constant -visitor at Rasputin’s house; in fact I was so incredulous that I asked -Rasputin whether this was true.</p> - -<p>“Yes—it’s quite true,” he answered, “I have a great affection for -Prince Yousopoff, I never call him anything else but ‘Little One.’<span class="lftspc">”</span></p> - -<p>Mary Golovina, to whom also I expressed my astonishment, said that -Prince Yousopoff declared that Rasputin’s prayers benefited him: so -there was nothing more to be said.</p> - -<p>On December 16th, when I was at Tsarkoe Selo, I told the Empress that I -wanted to see Rasputin on the morrow, but just before starting for his -house—about five o’clock on the afternoon of December 17th—I was rung -up from Tsarkoe Selo—the Empress wished to speak to me. Her voice -seemed agitated.</p> - -<p>“Lili,” she said, “don’t go to Father Gregory’s to-day. Something -strange has happened. He disappeared last night—nothing has been heard -of him, but I’m sure it will be all right. Will you come to the Palace -at once?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_118" id="page_118">{118}</a></span>”</p> - -<p>Thoroughly startled by this disturbing news, I lost no time in taking -the train to Tsarkoe Selo. An Imperial carriage was waiting for me, and -I soon found myself at the Palace.</p> - -<p>The Empress was in her mauve boudoir; once again I felt the premonition -of coming disaster, but I endeavoured to disregard it. Never did the -“cabinet mauve” look so home-like. The air was sweet with the fragrance -of many flowers and the clean odour of burning wood; the Empress was -lying down, the Grand Duchesses sat near her, and Anna Virouboff was -sitting on a footstool close to the couch. The Empress was very -pale—her blue eyes were full of trouble, the young girls were silent, -and Anna had evidently been weeping. I heard all there was to tell me; -Gregory had disappeared, but I believe the Empress never imagined for -one moment that he was dead. She discountenanced any sinister -conjectures; she soothed the ever weeping Anna, and then she told me -what she wished me to do.</p> - -<p>“You will sleep in Anna’s house to-night,” she said. “I want you to see -people for me to-morrow—I am advised that it will be better for me not -to do so.”</p> - -<p>I told the Empress that I was only too happy to be of service to her, -and, after dinner, I went to Anna’s house, which I was astonished to -find in the occupation of the Secret Police!</p> - -<p>The pretty little dining-room was full of police agents, who received me -most courteously, explaining that their presence was accounted for by -the fact that a plot to kill the Empress and Anna Virouboff had just -been discovered. This was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_119" id="page_119">{119}</a></span> not reassuring, but I decided not to be -nervous, and, bidding good night to the officers of justice, I went into -Anna’s bedroom.</p> - -<p>The familiar room looked strangely unfamiliar—terror lurked in the -shadows, and death seemed in the air. I am not by nature superstitious, -but I must confess that I felt so when an ikon suddenly fell down with a -crash, carrying a portrait of Rasputin with it in its fall. I hastily -undressed and got into bed—I could not sleep; I lay awake for hours, -and when, towards dawn, I dropped off in an uneasy slumber, I was -suddenly aroused by what seemed a great noise outside. I heard in the -distance the tread of countless feet, the sound of many voices; a mighty -multitude was marching towards Tsarkoe Selo—and the dreadful thought -flashed across my mind that perhaps there had been a rising at -Petrograd. I jumped out of bed, threw on a wrapper, and rushed to the -dining-room. There all was quiet; the police officers were sleeping on -the floor. My entrance awakened them.</p> - -<p>“Why, madame, what’s the matter?” they enquired.</p> - -<p>“Cannot you hear for yourselves?” I said, impatiently, “the noise—the -crowd—I’m sure something dreadful has happened at Petrograd.”</p> - -<p>“We have heard nothing....”</p> - -<p>“Oh, but I assure you it’s correct.”</p> - -<p>The police opened the shutters, then the windows ... outside all was -still with the intense stillness of a winter’s night. The officers made -no comment, and closed the windows.</p> - -<p>“Madame has perhaps been dreaming,” said<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_120" id="page_120">{120}</a></span> one, sympathetically. “She has -had much to try her nerves.”</p> - -<p>But I knew differently. I had certainly experienced much to try my -nerves, but what I heard was neither a nightmare nor a delusion. When I -re-entered the sombre bedroom, with its fallen ikon and its fallen -saint, I shuddered, for, although I knew it not, the veil had been -lifted, and I had heard the fast approaching footsteps of Revolution and -murder.</p> - -<p>I was an early arrival at the Palace, but the Empress was already up and -she greeted me most affectionately. She told me that M. Protopopoff had -strongly urged her to receive no one: there was evidence of a plot to -murder her, and, for the first time, she seemed to feel some misgivings -concerning the fate of Rasputin. She manifested no anxiety about her own -danger; she was utterly serene and fearless: I was so struck by this -that I could not help saying:</p> - -<p>“Oh, Madame, you don’t seem afraid to die. I always dread death—I’m a -horrible coward.”</p> - -<p>The Empress looked at me in astonishment.</p> - -<p>“Surely, Lili, you are not <i>really</i> afraid to die?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, Madame, I am.”</p> - -<p>“I cannot understand anyone being afraid to die,” she said, quietly. “I -have always looked upon Death as such a friend, such a <i>rest</i>. You -mustn’t be afraid to die, Lili.”</p> - -<p>I passed an anxious and exciting morning. I was besieged with visitors -for Anna, and people who desired to see the Empress. I think my position -gave rise to a great deal of jealousy in the Palace, as at this time the -Empress made me the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_121" id="page_121">{121}</a></span> sole medium of her wishes and no official etiquette -was observed.</p> - -<p>Nothing was heard of Rasputin, but all kinds of disturbing rumours were -current. A certain person paid twenty-two visits to Tsarkoe Selo in one -day, hopeful to see the Empress, but, acting on the advice of -Protopopoff, she absolutely declined to receive him.</p> - -<p>Two days later, Rasputin’s body was discovered under the ice in the -Neva. It was taken to a hospital close by, where an autopsy was -performed. Rasputin had been wounded in the face and side, and there was -a bullet wound in his back. His expression was peaceful, and the stiff -fingers of one hand were raised in a gesture of benediction; it was -impossible to arrange the hand in a natural position! The autopsy proved -without a doubt that Rasputin was alive when he was thrown into the -Neva!</p> - -<p>The news of the murder caused the greatest consternation at the -Palace—Anna Virouboff was prostrated with grief, and the Imperial -Family were deeply concerned. The reports that the Empress gave way to -violent hysterics are incorrect. It would be untrue to say that she was -not inexpressibly shocked and grieved, but she displayed no untoward -emotion. The Emperor was troubled, but his feelings arose more from the -significance of Rasputin’s death than from the actual death of the man: -he realised that this murder was the first definite blow against the -hitherto absolute power of the Tsar!</p> - -<p>Akilina Laptinsky came to the Palace immediately after the autopsy had -been performed: she wished, so she said, to discuss the question of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_122" id="page_122">{122}</a></span> -Rasputin’s burial. She was received by the Empress; Anna and I were also -present. The “Sister” first asked the Empress if she did not wish to see -the corpse.</p> - -<p>“Certainly not,” replied the Empress—in a tone which admitted of no -argument.</p> - -<p>“But there is the question of the burial,” said Akilina. “Gregory always -wished to be buried at Tsarkoe Selo.”</p> - -<p>“Impossible ... impossible ...” cried the Empress. “The body had better -be taken to Siberia and buried in the ‘Father’s’ village.”</p> - -<p>Akilina wept.... She declared that Rasputin’s spirit would never rest -were he to be buried so far away from the Palace. The Empress -hesitated.... I could see she was thinking that it would be equally as -unfriendly to discard the dead as to discard the living. Anna, however, -settled the question by proposing that Rasputin should be interred in -the centre aisle of the new church adjoining her hospital for -convalescents. The church and the hospital were being built on Anna’s -own property.... There could be no question of any scandal touching the -Imperial Family.... This proceeding would only enable people to cast -another stone at Anna’s already shattered reputation.</p> - -<p>“And ... I care little for the opinion of the world,” whimpered Anna, -looking more than ever like a hurt baby.</p> - -<p>So it was settled that Rasputin should be buried in Anna’s church, and, -as I attended the burial, I may say with absolute conviction that mine -is a true account of the proceedings. I have been told, and I have read -various wholly inaccur<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_123" id="page_123">{123}</a></span>ate reports—the most prevalent being that -Rasputin was buried secretly at dead of night in the Park at Tsarkoe -Selo. Nothing of the kind. Rasputin’s burial took place at 8 o’clock on -the morning of December 22nd. The Empress asked me, on the preceding -evening, to meet the Imperial Family by the graveside, and I promised to -do so.</p> - -<p>It was a glorious morning, the sky was a deep blue, the sun was shining, -and the hard snow sparkled like masses of diamonds; everything spoke of -peace, and I could hardly believe that I was about to witness the -closing scene of one of the greatest scandals and tragedies in history. -My carriage stopped on the road some distance from the Observatory, and -I was directed to walk across a frozen field towards the unfinished -church. Planks had been placed on the snow to serve as a footpath, and -when I arrived at the church I noticed that a police motor-van was drawn -up near the open grave. After waiting several moments, I heard the sound -of sleigh-bells, and Anna Virouboff came slowly across the field. Almost -immediately afterwards, a closed automobile stopped, and the Imperial -Family joined us. They were dressed in mourning, and the Empress carried -some white flowers; she was very pale but quite composed, although I saw -her tears fall when the oak coffin was taken out of the police van. The -coffin was perfectly plain. It bore no inscription, and only a cross -outside it testified to the faith of the departed.</p> - -<p>The ceremony proceeded—the burial service was read by the chaplain to -the hospital, and, after the Emperor and Empress had thrown earth on the -coffin, the Empress distributed her<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_124" id="page_124">{124}</a></span> flowers between the Grand Duchesses -and ourselves, and we scattered them on the coffin.</p> - -<p>When the last solemn words had been uttered, the Imperial Family left -the church. Anna and I followed them.... Anna got into her sledge, I -into my carriage. It was barely nine o’clock.</p> - -<p>I looked back at the snowy fields, the bare walls of the unfinished -church, and I thought of the murdered man who was sleeping there. I felt -an immense pity for his fate, but, above all, I felt an immense pity and -love for those who had believed in him and befriended him in defiance of -the world, and on whose innocent shoulders the burden of his follies was -destined to rest.</p> - -<p>I have not attempted to introduce any picturesque imagery in my -description of Rasputin’s burial. I have stated the facts exactly as -they occurred, and it now devolves upon me to contradict one of the most -unjust accusations which have been made against the Empress in -connection with the burial of Rasputin.</p> - -<p>Several writers have asserted that, when Rasputin’s remains were dug up -after the Revolution, a holy image bearing the signatures of the Empress -and the Grand Duchesses was discovered resting under the cheek of the -dead man. The Empress has been credited with placing this image there -herself, but this is not the case. The image (that of the Miraculous -Virgin of Pskov) was one of several which the Empress brought back from -Pskov when she and her daughters visited her hospital. The Empress -purchased these images much in the same manner that visitors to Lourdes -purchase souvenirs of Our Lady of Lourdes. The Imperial Family<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_125" id="page_125">{125}</a></span> wrote -their names and the date in pencil on the base of all these souvenirs, -which were given to various friends. Rasputin received one, and, when -his body was placed in the coffin, Akilina, with some sinister motive, -insisted upon the image being placed under his cheek, and she was, -doubtless, responsible for the story that this was done by order of the -Empress.</p> - -<p>After Rasputin’s death, his son and daughters came to Tsarkoe Selo and -were received by the Empress. They related how, on the night of the -murder, their father had received a message from Prince Yousopoff, -asking him to come and see him. It appeared that Rasputin’s daughters -had some vague presentiment of ill, and begged their father to remain at -home. He, however, insisted upon going to the “little one,” and the -finding of one of the goloshes which he wore on account of the deep snow -was partly the means of discovering that foul play had taken place.</p> - -<p>The family begged the Empress to avenge their father’s death. She -replied:</p> - -<p>“I can promise you nothing. All rests with justice; we cannot possibly -interfere in any way for or against that which has taken place.”</p> - -<p>These were her actual words, and they must surely discredit the story -that Prince Yousopoff and the Grand Duke Dmitry were victims of the -vindictive spirit of the Empress.</p> - -<p>Rasputin, as I knew him, was, I repeat, not the villain of the novel and -the films. In my eyes he was an uneducated man with a mission; he spoke -an almost incomprehensible Siberian dialect, he could hardly read, he -wrote like a child of four, and his manners were unspeakable. But he<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_126" id="page_126">{126}</a></span> -possessed both hypnotic and spiritual forces, he believed in himself and -he made others do so. I am not ignorant of what has been said concerning -his abnormal animalism, his satyr-like sensualities, the nameless orgies -in which young women and young girls gave themselves as willing victims -to his lust. An English saying states that there is “no smoke without -fire”—this may, perhaps, apply to Rasputin’s sensual side, but never to -the alleged extent. One woman in twenty may lose her sense of fitness -and seek to mate with a man in an inferior station of life, but it is -not an everyday occurrence. The reports about his dress and his -extravagance are also very much exaggerated. Rasputin lived, and died, a -poor man. He usually wore the dress of a peasant, and his wonderful -jewelled cross only exists in the brains of novelists and journalists. -Rasputin at first wore a simple copper cross, later he wore one of gold -which he afterwards sent to the Emperor at the Stavka. This gift in -Russia is usually unwelcome, as it signifies that you present with it -the sorrows and sufferings synonymous with the Cross. The Emperor -thought that Rasputin’s cross was unlucky, so he gave it back to me, and -asked me to give it to Anna. But Anna stubbornly refused to accept it, -and I was at my wits’ end to know what to do. I could not tell the -Emperor that Anna would have none of Rasputin’s cross—so I mislaid it, -and I do not know what became of it. But I only saw the moral side of -this apparently immoral man, and I was not alone in my conception of -Rasputin’s character. I know for a fact that many women of my world who -had “affairs<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_127" id="page_127">{127}</a></span>” and many demi-mondaines were not dragged further into the -mire by Rasputin, for—incredible as it may appear—his influence in -such cases was often for the best.</p> - -<p>I remember that I once met Rasputin when I was walking on the Morskaya -with a brother-officer of Captain Dehn’s. He eyed me severely, and, when -I returned home, I found a message telling me to come and see him. -Partly out of curiosity I obeyed, and, when I saw Rasputin, he demanded -an explanation.</p> - -<p>“Of what?” I asked.</p> - -<p>“Oh ... thou know’st well enough. Art <i>thou</i> going to follow the example -of these frivolous Society women? Why art thou not walking with thy -husband?”</p> - -<p>He repeatedly said to women who sought his advice:</p> - -<p>“If you mean to do wrong, first come and tell me.”</p> - -<p>So I can do no more than speak of Rasputin as I found him. If I had been -a Rasputinière, or the victim of an abnormal passion, I should not be -living happily with my husband, and Captain Dehn would never have -countenanced any association with Rasputin if the latter had been guilty -of immoralities at Tsarkoe Selo. His duty as a husband would have been -greater than his devotion to the Imperial Family.</p> - -<p>I cannot entirely defend the Empress’s attitude. I love her, I reverence -her memory, but I think she was, in many ways, perhaps, mistaken in her -outlook. She argued, very rightly, that, even if she belonged to Russia, -her soul belonged to God, and she had a perfect right to worship Him<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_128" id="page_128">{128}</a></span> -exactly in what manner most appealed to her. I have mentioned her views -as to position being no ban where the instruments of God were concerned. -In a worldly sense this was impossible, especially in Russia, where -humility appealed neither to the peasant nor to the higher classes. The -religious “communism” of the Empress outraged their sense of fitness ... -the peasants could not understand one of their own class being on -intimate terms with the Sovereigns ... the higher classes were bitterly -contemptuous.</p> - -<p>Knowing the strong religious convictions of the Empress and the inborn -characteristics of both classes, the Revolutionaries found in Rasputin a -fitting agent of Imperial destruction.</p> - -<p>The Greek Church is the most mediæval of religions ... it is quite -harmless, so to speak, when modern conditions are not introduced into -its practice; but modernity, ever a fatal element in religion, is -especially fatal to the Greek Church. The Empress would not understand -this ... her faith taught her to credit the existence of holy men, -hermits, and seers—so, when Rasputin appeared in the character of one -of these, she was not surprised, and she accepted the actuality of his -heaven-sent mission, as the teachings of her Church bade her.</p> - -<p>As I have stated, coincidence was largely responsible for the belief of -the Empress in Rasputin’s gift of healing. His prayers coincided with -the recovery of the Tsarevitch—that child of many prayers. In her love -for her son the Empress was <i>plus mère que mère</i>. I am likewise assured -that there was no theatrical clap-trap in<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_129" id="page_129">{129}</a></span> Rasputin’s association with -Anna Virouboff. Had Anna possessed the brains of Akilina, I might not be -so positive—but Anna was no <i>intrigante</i>; in the face of possible -denunciation as a Russian Sapphira, I repeat my estimate of Anna -Virouboff, i.e., <i>childish, harmless, weak</i>.</p> - -<p>If the Empress were guilty of any glaring weakness, it was, -paradoxically, that of stubbornness. She did not allow any interference -in what she considered her own province. Her grandmother and the Prince -Albert had tolerated none; her distant connection, Princess Clementine -of Coburg, was ultra-obstinate; another of her connections, Ferdinand of -Bulgaria, has also manifested the Coburg peculiarity. It is an -interesting psychological study: in some of the family this trait is -manifest in their undeviating pursuit of worldly ambition, in others it -is apparent in their views of morality and domesticity. In the case of -the Empress, morality, domesticity and religion were subjects in which -she brooked no contradiction.</p> - -<p>Had the Emperor been less religious, he might have (from a worldly point -of view) influenced his wife to have seen less of Rasputin. But he made -no attempt to interfere with her on religious questions, remembering -perhaps how wholly she had relinquished the faith of her fathers to -embrace his own. The Empress has been accused of contributing to the -downfall of Russia through her association with Rasputin. The finger of -scorn and hatred has pointed at her, and an almost universal voice has -cried, “Thou art the Woman.” But history, if not always just, is at -least generous, and it may be that Alexandra<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_130" id="page_130">{130}</a></span> Feodorovna will one day be -given the benefit of the doubt, and allowed to appeal against the -sentence which has been passed on her. For many years prior to her -advent as Empress of Russia, the movement for Freedom had been slowly -but surely spreading over the entire country, and the creation of the -Duma strengthened public opinion. But certain -Revolutionaries—themselves as evil as their prototypes in the French -Revolution—did not scorn to employ base agents in order to attain their -base ends. These men used Rasputin—with what result is now apparent. -But have the murders of Rasputin and the Empress cleansed Russia and -enabled it to be rechristened Utopia?</p> - -<p>The ashes of Rasputin are scattered to the four winds, the blood of the -innocent cries aloud to Heaven for vengeance; but Russia—drunken with -carnage, liberated from her ancient yoke, and delivered of her -rulers—has as yet only produced Robespierres.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_131" id="page_131">{131}</a></span></p> - -<h3><a name="CHAPTER_VI-a" id="CHAPTER_VI-a"></a>CHAPTER VI</h3> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I have</span> dealt with the subject of Rasputin before touching on that of the -War, but his name is also connected with the War, as he is supposed to -have been a German spy, and to have encouraged the alleged pro-German -leanings of the Empress. Although I shall always adhere to my original -belief that Rasputin was an unconscious agent of the Revolutionaries, I -cannot deny that he was against the War, and always desirous of peace, -but this attitude was due to his own wishes and convictions. I asked -Rasputin in 1915 when he thought the war would be over. “Not yet.... -Don’t expect the war to be over yet,” he answered; and in 1916, when I -returned from Reval, I asked the Empress the same question. “Not yet, -Lili, not yet,” she said. Both these replies might serve to show how -little was the political influence either of the Empress or of Rasputin. -As an individual, doubtless the Empress desired peace: as a Russian, she -could not possibly have desired the victory of Germany.</p> - -<p>There was great excitement in 1914 throughout Russia; everyone hoped -that England would come in, especially in naval circles, who were well -aware of the weakness of the Russian fleet.</p> - -<p>The excitement increased when Russia became the ally of France. The -Imperial band played the hymns of the Allies daily; there was no -ques<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_132" id="page_132">{132}</a></span>tion of pro-Germanism at Court—Russia, as befitting her great -traditions, was fighting the good fight!</p> - -<p>My husband was ordered to escort the Imperial Family to sea on the -“Standart,” and I knew that I must therefore spend my birthday without -him. One evening, when we were sitting in the Park making plans for a -belated celebration, my husband was accosted by one of the heads of his -Department. “Dehn ...” said he ... “go at once to the Commander of the -Port ... you’re wanted.”</p> - -<p>Upon his return my husband was very excited. “Lili,” he cried, “I have -received orders to join Admiral Essen’s fleet. I must leave almost -immediately.” It was, indeed, “almost immediately,” for at 3 a.m. my -husband bade me good-bye.</p> - -<p>The Empress sent me a note directly she knew that Charles had left. “I -hope everything will be all right,” she wrote. “Poor Lili, don’t -despair.”</p> - -<p>I tried <i>not</i> to despair, and, like most wives at this time, I kept a -smiling face, although I was perilously near tears. Every day the -Military Council was in consultation with the Emperor, and, on the -evening before the declaration of war, I knew that mobilization had been -decided upon.</p> - -<p>The Emperor firmly believed that Russia was amply supplied with -munitions. He had been assured on this point by the Grand Duke Nicholas -and General Soukhomlinoff. Soukhomlinoff knew that the ammunition of the -Russian army was insufficient, but he still continued to reassure the -Emperor and the Allies. The Grand Duke <span class="pagenum"><a name="page_133" id="page_133">{133}</a></span>Nicholas, who was far from -blameless ... instigated a Special Commission under the presidency of -the Grand Duke Serge, with the declared object of providing the army -with the requisite munitions. But three months passed, and nothing was -done. Even when certain supplies of munitions arrived at the Front, -these were useless, as they would not fit the guns and musketry which -required them! The Emperor was most unjustly blamed for these -calamities—but he was guiltless—the real offenders were the Grand Duke -Nicholas, General Soukhomlinoff and their agents.</p> - -<p>On the day following my husband’s departure the Empress sent me a -message asking me to go with her to the church usually attended by the -Lancers (the Empress’s Own). The service was very impressive; I stood -behind the Empress, who was praying ardently, and, at the conclusion, -she turned to me: “Don’t look sad, Lili,” she whispered. “This war <i>had</i> -to be.”</p> - -<p>Whenever the regiments of which the Empress was colonel left for the -front, she saw the officers and soldiers, and blessed them and spoke to -them. A great deal has been said and written about the Empress’s -unpopularity with the soldiers. I have hardly heard a good word on her -behalf, and yet I know how devotedly she was loved by many of the -officers and men. It will be my privilege to show how, during the -Revolution, she received many touching evidences of their affection, and -I am determined not to allow the Sisyphus weight of calumny to deter me -from telling what I know of the truth.</p> - -<p>After the declaration of hostilities the Empress at once instituted her -own hospitals, and both<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_134" id="page_134">{134}</a></span> she and her daughters went in for a medical -course to qualify as Sisters of Charity. Princess Gedroits, herself a -professor of surgery, instructed them, and the Imperial Family gave up -most of their time to lectures and demonstrations.</p> - -<p>Directly they had passed the necessary examinations, the Empress and -“the four sisters Romanoff” started nursing, spending hours with the -wounded and almost invariably being present at operations.</p> - -<p>Society at once began to criticise this procedure. It argued that it was -not the duty of an Empress of Russia to become a nurse. It failed to -remember that at this time the illustrated papers were full of pictures -of various crowned heads who were doing precisely the same thing for -which they condemned the Empress! But she wore her rue with a -difference. What was praiseworthy in others constituted a sin in her -case. Without being accused of bitterness, I think I may be allowed to -say that it makes me sad when I realise the persistent animosity -displayed towards the Empress by all classes, from the prince to the -peasant ... “the evil that men do lives after them, the good is oft -interred with their bones.” In the case of the Empress, the good she -undoubtedly did during her life was not only interred with her but it -was never recognised during her life. Her innocent fault consisted (to -quote the words of an English writer) in not being able to understand -“that in the eyes of her subjects she must shine and be ornamental, but -not useful in the trivial acceptance of the word.” Perhaps the Empress -erred in her conception of the mentality of the Russian peasant. As an -im<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_135" id="page_135">{135}</a></span>partial critic, I fear this was the case. When she wore the Red -Cross, the sign of a universal Brotherhood of Pity, the average soldier -only saw in the Red Cross an emblem of her lost dignity as Empress of -Russia. He was shocked and embarrassed when she attended to his wounds -and performed almost menial duties. His idea of an Empress was never as -a woman, but only as an imposing and resplendent Sovereign.</p> - -<p>The pro-German tendencies of the Empress were mentioned after our -reverse at Brest, when the Emperor assumed command. Everyone was -suspicious of her, and, when she spoke English at the hospitals to her -daughters and her ladies-in-waiting, the soldiers declared she was -speaking German, and this report once started was magnified exceedingly.</p> - -<p>The actual dawn of Revolution occurred before the death of Rasputin, but -during the war it was openly stated that the end of Tsardom was at hand. -All our defeats were attributed to the pro-German influence of the -Empress, who was spitefully alluded to as “The Colonel” in certain -salons.</p> - -<p>Protopopoff, the Minister of the Interior, was always reporting plots -against the life of the Empress. One, it was said, had been disclosed in -an intercepted letter from a Society woman to a friend in Moscow. The -writer lamented that the murder of the Empress had not been a “fait -accompli,” and declared that, failing murder, the next best remedy was -incarceration in a madhouse. Princess Vasiltchikoff sent a letter to the -Empress, in the name of the women of Russia, telling her that all -classes were against<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_136" id="page_136">{136}</a></span> her, and daring her to mix further in Russian -affairs.</p> - -<p>It has been said that the Empress was equally furious at the contents of -the letter, and the fact that it was written on paper torn off a -letter-pad! But it was <i>not</i> the question of the breach of etiquette -which writing to the Sovereign on a letter-pad implied, it was the -horrible accusations, the virulent animosity of the missive which at -first angered the Empress, and afterwards grieved her. She cried -bitterly when she told me. “Of what am I accused?” she said. “Gregory is -dead. Surely people might leave me alone!”</p> - -<p>Princess Vasiltchikoff’s letter gave rise to much excitement; her -portrait was in all the newspapers, and public opinion was divided for -and against her.</p> - -<p>Another letter was sent to the Empress, this time anonymously, but it -was equally reprehensible, and this letter and the preceding one caused -the greatest indignation in the hospitals, as the officers who knew the -Empress as she really was were very angry. Life in general was -excessively difficult and painful, so much so that, when my husband -arrived from Mourmansk, and asked Count Kapnist how things were going, -the Count replied: “You’ll soon see for yourself, and you’ll be -horrified. We have gone back to the days of Paul I. Ruin lies ahead of -us.”</p> - -<p>The Empress saw a good many people at this time. Every Thursday there -were musical evenings, where I met various friends—officers in the -Artillery, the Emperor’s A.D.C., Linavitch, Count Rabindar and his wife -(who was a faulty likeness<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_137" id="page_137">{137}</a></span> of the Empress), the officers of the -“Standart,” Prince Dolgouroki (who was afterwards murdered), Madame -Voeikoff, the wife of the Commandant du Palais, Colonel Grotten, and -many others.</p> - -<p>A Roumanian orchestra, under the direction of the famous Goulesko, -played on these Thursdays, and the Empress derived great pleasure in -listening to the really exquisite music. A huge fire was always burning -in the salon; the Empress sat near it, and a little seat immediately -behind her was arranged for my exclusive use. If I happened to arrive -after the Empress was seated, she always indicated the vacant place with -a gesture and a sweet smile.</p> - -<p>One evening, about a fortnight before the Revolution, when I was sitting -in my usual place, listening to the Roumanian orchestra, I noticed that -the Empress seemed unusually sad. So I ventured to bend forward and -whisper, anxiously, “Oh, Madame, why are you so sad to-night?” The -Empress turned and looked at me.... “Why am I sad, Lili?... I can’t -really say, but the music depresses me.... I think my heart is broken.”</p> - -<p>The same evening, Anna childishly observed: “We all seem out of sorts. -What fun it would be to have some champagne!” The Empress was angry at -the suggestion. “No ...” she said, “the Emperor hates wine, he can’t -bear women to drink wine—but what matter his likes or his dislikes, -when people will have it that he’s a drunkard himself?” The Empress was -in very indifferent health; mental worry had increased her heart -trouble, but she endeavoured never to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_138" id="page_138">{138}</a></span> let her health interfere with her -public duties. At an official reception following the departure of the -Guards, the Empress told me that she hardly knew how to endure the -strain. “Veronal is keeping me up. I’m literally saturated with it,” she -said.</p> - -<p>When my husband came home on a few days’ leave, the Emperor sent for -him, and listened attentively to all that he had to say, questioning him -very closely on certain subjects. We had never thought of or mentioned -the subject of his preferment; he had now spent two strenuous years in -the mine-fields, and the Emperor noticed how ill he looked.</p> - -<p>“Dehn must have a rest,” remarked His Majesty. “I shall give him a post -near my person.”</p> - -<p>But this kindly thought never matured. My husband was sent for by the -Minister of the Marine, and left for England at twenty-four hours’ -notice, in company with General Meller-Zakomelsky, taking with them -decorations destined by the Emperor for certain English officers. The -news of the Revolution was not known by them or in England when they -arrived, so an elaborate official reception was given them. Almost -immediately afterwards the news was public property and it was -impossible to use the Emperor’s decorations. I often wonder what became -of them.</p> - -<p>Before leaving for England, my husband asked me to join him there. I -could not promise. I loved him very dearly, but I felt that my duty lay -with the Empress.</p> - -<p>“No, Charles,” I said, “I cannot promise anything at present, but, if -things become better, I’ll come.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_139" id="page_139">{139}</a></span>”</p> - -<p>When he had gone, I felt utterly unhappy, but I did not regret any -sacrifice I was called upon to make for the Imperial Family. I loved -them all far too much.</p> - -<p>At this time the Emperor had every intention of remaining with his -family, but, one morning, after having received General Gourko in -audience, he suddenly announced:</p> - -<p>“I’m going to G.H.Q. to-morrow.”</p> - -<p>The Empress was surprised.</p> - -<p>“Cannot you possibly stay with us?” she enquired.</p> - -<p>“No,” said the Emperor, “I must go.”</p> - -<p>Almost immediately after the Emperor’s departure, the Tsarevitch fell -ill with measles, and I used to spend every evening with the Empress, -who was naturally much worried over her son’s illness. In these days, -our intimacy had increased so much that my time was mostly devoted to -the Empress, and I saw few of my friends and relations. But my aunt, the -Countess Kotzebue-Pilar, was a great Society leader, and I heard all -that transpired in her salon. One evening before dinner my aunt (who was -always furious at the rumours current about the Empress) ’phoned me to -come to her house at once. I found her in an excessively agitated -condition....</p> - -<p>“It’s awful what people are saying, Lili,” she cried.... “And I must -tell you—you <i>must</i> warn the Empress.”</p> - -<p>In somewhat calmer tones my aunt continued: “Yesterday I was at the -Kotzebues’.... Many officers were present, and it was openly asserted -that His Majesty will never return from G.H.Q. What are you going to do? -You are constantly<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_140" id="page_140">{140}</a></span> in the society of the Empress—you cannot allow her -to remain in ignorance of these reports.”</p> - -<p>“She will not believe them,” I said.</p> - -<p>“Nevertheless,” said my aunt, “it is your duty to warn her.”</p> - -<p>I returned to the Palace feeling very unhappy. I hardly knew what to do -for the best. At last, after a struggle, I decided to tell the Empress. -As I had anticipated, she made light of the story.</p> - -<p>“It’s all nonsense, Lili, I can’t believe such a thing—it’s nothing but -malicious gossip. However, as you seem so apprehensive, send for Grotten -(the Commandant du Palais) and tell him.”</p> - -<p>“Don’t pay any attention to such a canard,” cried Grotten angrily, when -he heard my story. “It’s a lie which stamps itself as the worst kind of -lie.”</p> - -<p>“Well, General,” I retorted, now thoroughly vexed with myself for having -apparently made a mountain out of a molehill, “if God ordains my aunt’s -report to be a lie, so much the better.”</p> - -<p>“Don’t be cross.... I’ll most certainly get in touch with G.H.Q.,” said -Grotten reassuringly. <span class="smcap">Three days after came the Revolution.</span></p> - -<p> </p> - -<p>And now the funeral knell of Russia began to sound, at first muffled, -but always insistently. Disorders broke out in Petrograd. The strikes -began on February 21st (Old Style), and crowds clamoured for bread, of -which the supplies had suddenly stopped. No one could understand this, -as Protopopoff’s last words to the Emperor were: “There is plenty of -flour, I’ll pledge my word that we have enough flour to last us for a -month,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_141" id="page_141">{141}</a></span> and after that fresh supplies will be coming in.” The bread -shortage was in reality due to the action of the Duma—it was an -organised arrangement!!</p> - -<p>Each day matters grew worse. Fighting took place in the streets, -drunkards indulged in indescribable orgies, the police were murdered -much in the same manner as they have been in Ireland. It was bitterly -cold—snow lay in deep drifts, and Petrograd was in the iron grip of a -black frost.</p> - -<p>Protopopoff, the Minister of the Interior, was always -ultra-optimistic—I never liked or trusted him; he did not seem the man -to handle any great crisis. He was appreciated by the Duma until his -deplorable interview in Stockholm, when he discussed the war in a very -indiscreet manner; but, when the Emperor appointed Protopopoff Minister -of the Interior, he was universally hated, and everyone blamed the -Emperor for appointing a man so singularly devoid of merit. Protopopoff -promised everything, without considering whether his promises were -possible. It was the same with his statements: he disliked telling -unpleasant truths, so he took refuge in pleasant evasions. He was the -man who continually told the Imperial Family that nothing could possibly -happen. “Trust in me,” said Protopopoff, striking an attitude. And, -whenever someone meekly remarked that the working classes were -undoubtedly restive, Protopopoff struck another attitude which implied, -“Did I fancy I heard you say ‘<i>restive</i>’?” and, aloud, in pained but -hearty tones: “What? Are you actually troubling yourself about a little -unrest? We’ll soon crush them—Labour cannot stand up against <i>Me</i>.”</p> - -<p>It may be asked: Why did the Imperial Family,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_142" id="page_142">{142}</a></span> and especially the -Empress, place so much reliance in M. Protopopoff’s statements, as, -since the Empress knew all that was written concerning her, she, at -least, could have possessed no illusions? The answer is simple: The -Empress knew that she was unpopular, but she never would believe that -this unpopularity lay with the people—she attributed the scandals and -calumnies to class-hatred, and to that craving for sensation without -which a certain section of the Press would be unable to exist. When, -made bold by my ever growing apprehensions, I ventured to tell the -Empress that in these days the “people” were not paragons of fidelity, -she bade me remember the afternoon, not long distant, when we drove out -to a little “Lett” village near Peterhof. I <i>did</i> remember. The -automobile had stopped near the church, and, the moment the Empress -alighted, she was surrounded by a crowd of peasants, who knelt before -her, and, with tears in their eyes, prayed aloud for her happiness. -After this the Empress was offered bread and salt, and it was with great -difficulty that a passage was cleared to her waiting automobile. This -incident occurred two years before the Revolution. “And yet you tell me, -Lili, that these people wish me ill!”</p> - -<p>“Madame, many things have happened during the last two years.”</p> - -<p>“<i>Nothing</i> has happened, Lili, to touch the real heart of Russia.”</p> - -<p>I do not profess to have any knowledge of politics, and I never wished -to meddle in them, so it is impossible for me to attempt to discuss the -so-called political influence of the Empress. We hardly ever spoke of -politics, but I can truth<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_143" id="page_143">{143}</a></span>fully state that I never once heard her utter -one sentiment that might be described as even faintly pro-German. Her -letters written after her arrest, which are reproduced for the first -time, ought to plead for her more strongly than any words of mine. When -the Empress wrote to me, neither she nor I had any idea that part of her -correspondence would be read by the English public. The letters might -never have reached <i>me</i>: they were smuggled out of the Palace and sent -from Tobolsk in circumstances of much difficulty and danger. But they -breathe sincerity of purpose in every line: they were written when the -shadow of death was falling on the Imperial Family.... There is no trace -of the hysterical, intriguing woman in any of them. The letter which -contains the passage relating to the fleet will perhaps serve to -vindicate the memory of the Empress more than anything else, at least so -far as her alleged pro-Germanism is affected. Even now, Justice, blind, -but nevertheless all-seeing, has decreed that Germany should acknowledge -having laid the mines which destroyed the “Hampshire”: Germany, brought -to book, would not have scrupled to lay the guilt to the charge of the -Empress, especially since she cannot defend herself. But Germany has not -availed herself of the universal detestation which surrounds the name of -Alexandra Feodorovna: so she has, at least, been spared <i>one</i> -degradation.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_145" id="page_145">{145}</a></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_144" id="page_144">{144}</a></span></p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_146" id="page_146">{146}</a></span> </p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_147" id="page_147">{147}</a></span> </p> - -<h2><a name="Part_II_The_Revolution" id="Part_II_The_Revolution"></a>Part II—The Revolution</h2> - -<h3><a name="CHAPTER_I-b" id="CHAPTER_I-b"></a>CHAPTER I</h3> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">On</span> Saturday, February 25th, 1917, the Empress told me that she wished me -to come to Tsarkoe Selo on the following Monday, and I was (let me -confess it) still in bed when the telephone rang at 10 a.m. I suppose my -delay in answering must have amused the Empress, for her first words -were: “I believe you have only just got out of bed, Lili. Listen, I want -you to come to Tsarkoe by the 10.45 train. It’s a lovely morning. We’ll -go for a run in the car, so I’ll meet you at the station. You can see -the girls and Anna, and return to Petrograd at 4 p.m. I’m certain you -won’t catch the train, but anyhow I’ll be at the station to meet it.”</p> - -<p>I dressed at express speed, and, snatching up my gloves, a few rings, -and a bracelet, I ran into the street in search of a fiacre. I had quite -forgotten that there was a strike, and no conveyances were available! At -this moment I saw M. Sablin’s carriage: I hailed him, and begged for a -lift to the station. On the way I questioned him.</p> - -<p>“What news, Monsieur ...?”</p> - -<p>“There’s nothing fresh,” he replied, “but everything is quite all right, -although I must admit it is very strange about the bread shortage.”</p> - -<p>The train for Tsarkoe was just moving out of the station when I arrived -on the platform, but I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_148" id="page_148">{148}</a></span> scrambled in, and found myself in the company of -Madame Tanieff, Anna’s mother, who was going to see her daughter, now -ill, like the Grand Duchesses Olga and Tatiana, with the measles. Madame -Tanieff, like M. Sablin, knew nothing fresh; she was chiefly concerned -about Anna’s illness; but the first words of the Empress, who, true to -her promise, was awaiting me, were:</p> - -<p>“Well, how is it in Petrograd? I hear things are very serious.”</p> - -<p>We said that there was apparently nothing alarming, and the Empress told -Madame Tanieff to get into the car with us, and she would take her to -the Palace.</p> - -<p>It was a glorious morning: I remembered the splendour of the day long -afterwards; the sky was an Italian blue, and snow lay everywhere. We -were not able to drive in the Park on account of the drifts! On the way -back, we met Captain Hvostchinsky, one of the Garde Equipage. The -Empress intimated her wish to speak to him, and the car stopped.</p> - -<p>Captain Hvostchinsky smiled at the notion of danger. “There is no -danger, Your Majesty” he said; so, reassured, the Empress and I returned -to the Palace. I went at once to see the Grand Duchesses. They were -certainly very ill, suffering from bad pains in the ears; but they were -pleased to see me, and I sat between the two camp beds, talking to them. -After lunch I went up again, and presently the Empress joined us.</p> - -<p>She beckoned me into the next room: I could see that she was agitated. -“Lili,” she said, breathlessly, “it is <i>very</i> bad. I have just seen<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_149" id="page_149">{149}</a></span> -Colonel Grotten, and General Resin, and they report that the Litovsky -Regiment has mutinied, murdered the officers, and left barracks: the -Volinsky Regiment has followed suit. I can’t understand it. I’ll never -believe in the possibility of Revolution—why, only yesterday, everyone -said it was impossible! The peasants love us ... they adore Alexis! I’m -sure that the trouble is confined to Petrograd alone. But I want you to -go and see Anna ... she may also have been told this, and you know how -easily she is frightened!”</p> - -<p>I found Anna ill, and light-headed, and, as I entered her bedroom, I -thought what a contrast it presented to the cool, darkened room which I -had just left. Olga and Tatiana were so patient, they lay so still, and -were grateful for any attention. <i>This</i> sick room resembled a “lever du -Roi” in the days of Louis XIV. Anna was surrounded by a crowd of -“sisters” and three doctors were in attendance. Madame Tanieff was -there, looking the picture of misery, and Anna’s sister, who was almost -hysterical, kept on exclaiming, “All is lost.” They had expected General -Tanieff to lunch, but he had not arrived ... there was no news of him. -What were they to do? General Tanieff entered in the midst of this -confusion, breathless, and scarlet in the face. “Petrograd is in the -hands of the mob,” he exclaimed, “they are stopping all cars ... they -commandeered mine, and I’ve had to walk every step of the way.”</p> - -<p>At this intelligence, Allie Pistolkors (she had married the Grand Duke -Paul’s stepson) burst into tears and begged me to ask the Empress<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_150" id="page_150">{150}</a></span> what -she had better do. I promised to see the Empress at once, and, as the -Grand Duchesses Anastasie and Marie had just come to fetch me, I -returned to the private apartments with them.</p> - -<p>The winter afternoon was fast drawing in, and I found the Empress alone -in her boudoir. She could give me no message for Mme Pistolkors. “I -don’t <i>know</i> what to advise,” she said, sadly. Then, turning to me, -“What are <i>you</i> going to do, Lili? Titi is in Petrograd ... had you not -better return to him this evening?”</p> - -<p>At the sight of the Empress, so tragically alone, so helpless in the -midst of the signs and splendour of temporal power, I could hardly -restrain my tears. Controlling myself with an effort, I tried to steady -my voice:</p> - -<p>“Permit me to remain with <i>you</i>, Madame,” I entreated.</p> - -<p>The Empress looked at me without speaking. Then she took me in her arms -and held me close, and kissed me many times, saying as she did so:</p> - -<p>“I <i>cannot</i> ask you to do this, Lili.”</p> - -<p>“But I must, Madame,” I answered.... “Please, please let me stay. I -can’t go back to Petrograd and leave you here.”</p> - -<p>The Empress told me that she had tried to ’phone the Emperor, and that -she had been unable to do so. “But I have wired him, asking him to -return immediately. He’ll be here on Wednesday morning.”</p> - -<p>After this conversation we went to see the Grand Duchesses, and the -Empress lay down on<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_151" id="page_151">{151}</a></span> a couch in their bedroom. I sat beside her, and we -conversed in low tones so as not to awaken the sleeping girls. The -Empress was still unable to believe in the reports, and she expressed a -wish to see the Grand Duke Paul. “How I wish he would come,” she said. -She then asked me to go over to Anna’s apartments, and say that she felt -too unwell to come herself.</p> - -<p>Anna’s room still looked like a “lever du Roi”; Allie had taken her -departure, so Mme Tanieff told me, and had gone to the Palace of the -Grand Duke Paul. I lost no time in delivering the Empress’s message, and -quickly returned to her. The evening wore on.... News came that -Petrograd was in a state of upheaval, and that crowds of mutineers were -everywhere. The Empress begged me to ’phone Linavitch, the A.D.C. to the -Emperor, and ask him to tell us what was happening. Linavitch was in -command of a company of Horse Artillery at Pavlosk, two miles from -Tsarkoe Selo, so it was not difficult to “get” him. “Tell Her Majesty,” -he said, “that I am here with my company, and that all will be well.”</p> - -<p>I spent the evening with the Empress in the mauve boudoir, and she told -me how glad she was to have me near her. “I know the Grand Duchesses -want you to be somewhere close to their room, so I’ve decided that the -red drawing-room will be the best place for you to sleep.<a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> Come with -me. Anastasie is waiting for us,” she said.</p> - -<p>The red drawing-room was a fine room;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_152" id="page_152">{152}</a></span> everything in it was upholstered -in scarlet, and scarlet and white chintz covered the easy chairs. A bed -had been arranged on one of the couches, and the two Grand Duchesses, -with tender solicitude, had seen to the minor details themselves. -Anastasie’s nightgown lay outside the coverlet, Marie had put a lamp and -an ikon on the table by the bed; and a snapshot of Titi, taken from -their collection of photographs, had been hastily framed, and occupied a -place next to the holy ikon. How dearly I loved them all ... how glad I -was that I was privileged to share their danger!</p> - -<p>The Empress left me with Anastasie, as she wished to see Count -Benckendorff, so Anastasie and I sat down comfortably on the red carpet, -and amused ourselves with jig-saw puzzles until she returned.</p> - -<p>The Empress came back from her interview with Count Benckendorff in a -state of painful agitation, and, directly Anastasie had gone to bed, she -told me that the reports were worse. “I don’t want the girls to know -anything until it is impossible to keep the truth from them ...” she -said, “but people are drinking to excess, and there is indiscriminate -shooting in the streets. Oh, Lili, what a blessing that we have here the -most devoted troops ... there is the Garde Equipage ... they are all our -personal friends, and I place implicit faith in the tirailleurs of -Tsarkoe.”</p> - -<p>I think that this thought comforted her: she seemed happier when she -bade me good night.</p> - -<p>I woke early on Tuesday morning.... Sleep</p> - -<p><a name="ill_10" id="ill_10"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<a href="images/ill_005_lg.jpg"> -<img src="images/ill_005.jpg" width="404" height="322" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a> -<div class="caption"><p>THE IMPERIAL FAMILY -<br /><br />BACK ROW<br /> -left to right:<br /> -Grand Duchesses Marie, Olga, and Tatiana<br /> -CENTRE<br /> -left to right:<br /> -H.I.M. The Tsaritsa, Tsar Nicholas II. Grand Duchess Anastasia<br /> -FRONT<br /> -The Tsarevitch</p></div> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_153" id="page_153">{153}</a></span></p> - -<p class="nind">had been almost impossible, but I had dropped into an uneasy slumber -soon after dawn. I dressed at once, hoping to be ready for the Empress, -but she was before me, and at half-past eight she entered the red -drawing-room. We went at once to the Grand Duchesses, and drank our -<i>café au lait</i> in their room. The Empress told me that she had wired -repeatedly to the Tsar, but had received no reply. Later in the morning -she received Count Benckendorff and Colonel Grotten, who informed her -that matters were becoming more alarming and that the Garde Equipage had -better remain inside the Palace, as there was a report that the mob, -supported by the Duma, was even now marching on Tsarkoe.</p> - -<p>The Empress immediately consented; she was really delighted at the -thought of having the Garde Equipage at the Palace, and the Grand -Duchesses were frankly overjoyed. “It’s just like being on the yacht -again,” they said. The Garde Equipage, which was now augmented by the -Mixed Guard, and by sentinels taken from the Cossack Convoi, took up its -quarters outside the Palace and in the vast souterrains. One part of the -Palace was arranged as an ambulance station. We were very busy, but the -Grand Duchesses made light of danger and showed none of our agitation. -The Empress was always awaiting a reply to her telegrams. None came.</p> - -<p>Tuesday was a day of general unrest. It seemed as if the weather were in -sympathy with man’s savage mood. The blue sky of Monday had vanished, an -icy blizzard swept around the Palace, and a north wind drove the deep -snow into still deeper drifts. In the afternoon, on my way<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_154" id="page_154">{154}</a></span> back from -seeing Anna, I encountered Baroness Ysa Büxhoevgen on one of the -corridors. She was almost running and she seemed very much disturbed. “I -must see the Empress,” she said. “I’ve just come from Tsarkoe Selo (the -town): everything is awful—they say there is mutiny and dissatisfaction -amongst the troops.” Ysa’s terror was general: panic seized the dwellers -in the Palace, but none of the servants left us. Mlle Schneider’s maids, -it is true, fled, but they came back again the next day.</p> - -<p>The Empress was very anxious to see the Grand Duke Paul, but I believe -that at first there was some misunderstanding, as the Grand Duke thought -that etiquette demanded that the Empress should ask <i>him</i>, and he -declared that he would not come unless she did. I had received a hint of -this, so, when next I saw the Empress, I suggested that perhaps the -Grand Duke was waiting for her invitation.... This had not occurred to -the Empress; she told me to ’phone at once and ask the Grand Duke to -come and see her after dinner.</p> - -<p>I was placed, unwillingly, in a very awkward predicament. I had no -official position at Court, but the Empress seemed to think that my duty -was to act as her mouthpiece, and to assume an authority which I was far -from desiring.</p> - -<p>However, I ’phoned to the Palace of the Grand Duke, and, in the name of -the Empress, I asked him to come to Tsarkoe Selo. His son answered the -’phone, and rather brusquely demanded to know who on all the earth was -speaking.</p> - -<p>“Lili Dehn,” I said.</p> - -<p>His “<i>Oh!</i>” was more eloquent than words!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_155" id="page_155">{155}</a></span></p> - -<p>During the afternoon the Empress called me into her boudoir. “Lili,” she -said, “they say that a hostile crowd of 300,000 persons is marching on -the Palace. We shall not be, we <i>must</i> not be afraid. Everything is in -the hands of God. To-morrow the Emperor is sure to come.... I <i>know</i> -that, when he does, all will be well.” She then asked me to ’phone to -Petrograd, and get in touch with my aunt, Countess Pilar, and other -friends. I ’phoned to several, but the news grew worse and worse. At -last I ’phoned to my flat. The Emperor’s A.D.C., Sablin, who lived in -the same building, answered my ring. I begged him to take care of Titi, -and, if it were possible, to join us at Tsarkoe, as the Imperial Family -needed protection; but he replied that a ring of flames practically -surrounded the building, which was well watched by hostile sailors. He -managed, however, to bring Titi to the ’phone—and my heart ached when I -heard my child’s anxious voice:</p> - -<p>“Mamma, when are you coming back?”</p> - -<p>“Darling, I’ll come very soon.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, <i>please</i> come; it’s so dreadful here.”</p> - -<p>I felt torn between love and duty, but I had long since decided where my -duty lay.</p> - -<p>I told the Empress what Sablin had reported; she listened in silence, -and then, by some tremendous effort of will, she regained her usual -composure. Her strength strengthened me. We had, indeed, every need for -courage. The poor “children” were lying desperately ill.... They looked -almost like corpses.... Anna was in high fever, the Palace was -terror-stricken, and outside brooded the dread spectre of Revolution!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_156" id="page_156">{156}</a></span></p> - -<p>All at once the Empress was seized with an idea to talk to the soldiers. -I begged to accompany her, in case of any unforeseen treachery, but she -refused. “Why, Lili,” she said, reproachfully, “they’re all friends!” -Marie and Anastasie went with her, and I watched them from a window. It -was quite dark, and the great courtyard was illuminated with what -appeared to be exceptionally powerful electric lights. The distant sound -of guns was audible ... the night was bitterly cold. From where I stood, -I could see the Empress, wrapped in furs, walking from one man to -another, utterly fearless of her safety. She was the calm, dignified -Tsaritsa—the typical consort of the Tsar of all the Russias. Here was -no hysterical religious maniac, no abandoned heroine of the novel! The -Empress moved in this tragic <i>mise en scène</i>, protected by her own -goodness; but, when the light fell on her fair, pale face, I trembled. I -knew her weak heart, her delicacy of physique—suppose she were to -faint?</p> - -<p>When the Empress came back, she was apparently possessed by some inward -exaltation. She was radiant; her trust in the “people” was complete, she -was sustained by that, often, alas, broken reed of friendship. “They are -our friends,” she kept on repeating, “they are so devoted to us.” She -was, alas, presently to discover that the name of Judas is often -synonymous with that of a friend.</p> - -<p>One thing troubled her fleeting happiness. “I haven’t seen a company in -the basement.... It is such a pity, but I didn’t feel well enough. -Perhaps I can manage it to-morrow.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_157" id="page_157">{157}</a></span>”</p> - -<p>After her visit to the soldiers, the Empress received Count and Countess -Benckendorff, who asked to be permitted to remain at the Palace. Their -request was gladly granted, and rooms were arranged for them.</p> - -<p>The Grand Duke Paul arrived later in the evening. He was a tall, -imposing man, who was considered to be very fascinating, and, what was -more to his credit, excessively kind at heart. He had a long -conversation with the Empress, and we could hear their agitated voices -in the next room. The Empress told me afterwards that almost her first -words had been:</p> - -<p>“What of the Guards?”</p> - -<p>And the Grand Duke had replied in tones of fatality:</p> - -<p>“I can do nothing. Nearly all of them are at the Front.”</p> - -<p>When we went to bid the Grand Duchesses good night, I was distressed to -find that the firing was distinctly to be heard from their room. Olga -and Tatiana did not appear to notice it, but, when their mother had -gone, Olga asked me what the noise signified. “Darling, I don’t -know—it’s nothing. The hard frost makes everything sound much more,” I -said lightly.</p> - -<p>“But are you <i>sure</i>, Lili?” persisted the Grand Duchess. “Even Mamma -seems nervous, we’re so worried about her heart; she’s most certainly -overtiring herself—<i>do</i> ask her to rest.”</p> - -<p>The Empress decided that Marie should sleep with her. “You, Lili, will -sleep in the room with Anastasie, and have Marie’s bed. Don’t take off -your corsets ... one doesn’t know what may happen. The Emperor arrives -between 5 and 7<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_158" id="page_158">{158}</a></span> to-morrow morning, and we must be ready to meet him. -Come to my room early, and then I’ll tell you the train.”</p> - -<p>Neither the Grand Duchess nor I could sleep, and we lay awake in the -darkness talking in low tones. Occasionally I was silent, but, when this -was so, Anastasie never failed to ask: “Lili, are you asleep?”</p> - -<p>During the night we got up and looked out of the windows. A huge gun had -been placed in the courtyard. “How astonished Papa will be!” whispered -Anastasie. We stood for a few minutes watching the weird scene. It was -so bitterly cold that the sentinels were dancing round the gun in order -to keep warm. Their figures were sharply defined against the -arc-lights—it seemed like some new Carmagnole; in the distance we heard -shouts of drunken voices and occasional shots—and so the night passed.</p> - -<p>At 5 a.m. on Wednesday morning we went downstairs to the Empress’s -bedroom. She was awake, and as she opened the door she whispered: “Hush -... Marie is asleep: the train is late.... Most probably the Emperor -won’t come until ten.” The Empress was fully dressed, and she looked so -sad that I could not help saying impulsively: “Oh, Madame, <i>why</i> is the -train late?”</p> - -<p>She smiled wanly, but did not reply. As we went back to our bedroom, -Anastasie said in agitated tones: “Lili, the train is <i>never</i> late. Oh, -if Papa would only come quickly.... I’m beginning to feel ill. What -shall I do if I get ill? I can’t be useful to Mamma.... Oh, Lili, say -I’m not going to be ill.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_159" id="page_159">{159}</a></span>”</p> - -<p>I tried to calm her, and I persuaded her to lie down on her bed and -sleep; but the poor child was actually sickening for the measles. -Anastasie was the sweetest-natured girl: she adored her mother, and -delighted in running hither and thither on her errands. The Empress -always alluded to Anastasie as “my legs!”</p> - -<p>When the Empress joined me in Olga’s room a little before nine, she -still hoped for the 10 o’clock train. “Perhaps the blizzard detains -him,” she said. She lay down on the couch, and I sat on the floor beside -her; we spoke in undertones; but her chief anxiety was concerning my -want of sleep.</p> - -<p>“Sit on a chair, Lili, and put your feet up on the couch,” she said.</p> - -<p>“No—no—Madame,” I replied, “it is not to be thought of.” But, at her -request, I compromised matters by resting the tips of my shoes on the -end of the couch.</p> - -<p>Ten o’clock came, but we still heard nothing. It was the first of March, -a month fatal to the Romanoffs—well might they “beware the Ides of -March!” The Emperor Paul was suffocated on the first of March, and, -thirty-six years previously, on this date, the Emperor’s grandfather, -Alexander II, was killed by a bomb. The March of 1917 is destined to be -associated with the downfall of the dynasty.</p> - -<p>We were living in a state of continual and unrelieved anxiety. Dr. -Botkin and Dr. Direvenko were in constant attendance on the three Grand -Duchesses, but the Tsarevitch was, fortunately, much better. Poor -Anastasie could not<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_160" id="page_160">{160}</a></span> reconcile herself to the idea of being ill: she -cried and cried, and kept on repeating, “Please don’t keep me in bed.”</p> - -<p>Service in the Palace was quite normal, but the water supply which -worked the private lift used by the Empress had been cut off, and in -consequence she was now obliged to walk upstairs. This sounds a trivial -incident, but it entailed a great deal of suffering on the Empress, who -was already overtired and overstrung. Her heart, always affected, now -became much worse, owing to her having to go up and down stairs so -often, but she insisted upon seeing her children, and she used to go up -the staircase at times almost on the verge of fainting. I supported -her—walking behind her and holding her underneath the arms.</p> - -<p>We could not understand what had become of the Emperor: the Empress -thought that the delay arose owing to the confusion on the railways, -which were now in the hands of the Revolutionaries.</p> - -<p>The dreary afternoon of March 1st was signalised by an unhappy -occurrence. The Empress and I were standing at the window overlooking -the courtyard, when we noticed that many of the soldiers had bound white -handkerchiefs on their wrists. An enquiry as to the reason elicited the -reply that the white handkerchiefs signified that upon the -representation of a Member (who had come to Tsarkoe Selo) the troops had -consented to act in unison with the Duma.</p> - -<p>The Empress turned to me. “Well ... so everything is in the hands of the -Duma,” she said, with a certain degree of bitterness. “Let us hope<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_161" id="page_161">{161}</a></span> that -it will bestir itself, and do something to remedy the disaffection.”</p> - -<p><a name="ill_11" id="ill_11"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/ill_016-a.jpg" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /> -<div class="caption"><p>SHOOTING PARTY IN FINLAND, AUTUMN, 1910 - -Center—the Emperor: Right—Lieut.-Com. Dehn</p></div> -</div> - -<p><a name="ill_12" id="ill_12"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/ill_016-b.jpg" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /> -<div class="caption"><p>THE TSAREVITCH AT G.H.Q.</p></div> -</div> - -<p><a name="ill_13" id="ill_13"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/ill_016-c.jpg" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /> -<div class="caption"><p>THE TSAREVITCH AND HIS SPANIEL ‘JOY’</p></div> -</div> - -<p>She moved away from the window. I could see she was hurt and -disappointed ... but this was not destined to be the last of her many -disillusions!</p> - -<p>Count Appraxin, Secretary to the Empress, arrived later in the day: he -had experienced the greatest difficulty in reaching Tsarkoe—and his -news was not reassuring. We sat up late that evening—dinner had been a -mere farce—our minds were too anxious and too preoccupied to think of -food. The children were dangerously ill, the whereabouts of the Emperor -were unknown, and the Revolution was at our gates. When at last I bade -the Empress good night, she told me not to undress. “I’m not going to do -so,” she said, and her quiet tones were significant that she anticipated -the worst!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_162" id="page_162">{162}</a></span></p> - -<h3><a name="CHAPTER_II-b" id="CHAPTER_II-b"></a>CHAPTER II</h3> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Early</span> on the morning of March 2nd the Empress came into the Grand -Duchesses’ bedroom. She was deathly pale—she seemed hardly alive. As I -ran towards her I heard her agitated whisper: “Lili—the troops have -deserted!”</p> - -<p>I found no words with which to answer. I was stupefied. At last I -managed to stammer:</p> - -<p>“Why, Madame? In the name of God, why?”</p> - -<p>“Their Commander-in-Chief, the Grand Duke Cyril, has sent for them.” -Then, unable to contain herself, the Empress said brokenly, “My -sailors—my <i>own</i> sailors—I can’t believe it.”</p> - -<p>But it was too true. The Garde Equipage had left the Palace at 1 a.m. -and 5 a.m.—the “faithful friends,” the “devoted subjects,” were with us -no longer. The officers of the Garde were received by the Empress in the -mauve boudoir during the morning: I was present, and I heard from one of -my husband’s friends that the duty of taking the Garde to Petrograd had -been carried out by a “temporary gentleman,” Lieutenant Kouzmine. The -officers were furious, especially their commandant, Miasocdoff-Ivanof, a -big, burly sailor, whose kind eyes were full of tears.... One and all -begged to be allowed to remain with the Empress, who, almost overcome by -emotion, thanked them, saying: “Yes—yes—I beg you to remain: this has -been a terrible blow, what <i>will</i> the Emperor say when he hears about -it!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_163" id="page_163">{163}</a></span>” She then sent for General Resin, the Commander of the Mixed Guard, -and instructed him to make room for the loyal officers in his regiment.</p> - -<p>General Resin told me long afterwards that he was relieved when he knew -that the cowardly Garde had actually left the Palace, as orders had been -given for a detachment to go on one of the church towers which commanded -a view of the courtyard, and if, by a certain time, the troops had not -joined the Duma, to train two enormous field-guns on to the Palace!</p> - -<p>There was still no news of the Emperor, although the Empress constantly -telegraphed. It was reported that his train was returning to G.H.Q., and -at the time many people thought that if it reached there the troops -would have followed the Emperor. We ’phoned to the hospitals for news, -and the Empress received a good many people. To all these she was her -usual calm, dignified self. When I marvelled at her fortitude, she -replied: “Lili, I must <i>not</i> give way. I keep on saying, ‘<i>I must -not</i>’—it helps me.”</p> - -<p>In the late afternoon, Rita Hitrowo (one of the younger -ladies-in-waiting, and a friend of the Grand Duchesses) arrived from -Petrograd with the worst possible tidings, and, after the Empress had -spoken to Rita, she received two officers of the Mixed Guard, who -proposed to try and get a letter from her through to the Emperor: it was -arranged that they should leave Tsarkoe the next evening. The Empress -was always willing to hope. But the night passed, and still never a word -came from the Emperor.</p> - -<p>On March 3rd I took my <i>café au lait</i> with Marie, and we were joined by -the Empress. It<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_164" id="page_164">{164}</a></span> was a day of agony. The Grand Duchesses grew worse: -their ears were badly inflamed, it seemed as if they might not recover. -The Empress tried to snatch a little rest by occasionally lying on a -couch: her feet had now become very painful, and her heart affection -was, at times, alarming. Meals were silent and horrible affairs: I felt -as though each morsel would choke me. But, as I had now grown desperate -with anxiety, I conceived the notion of communicating with the Emperor -by aeroplane. Might not his whereabouts be discovered in this way? The -Empress welcomed the idea, and she sent for General Resin, and asked for -an aeroplane to be despatched at once. He agreed, but even the weather -was against us.... A blizzard set in; the dark sky was blotted out with -scudding snow, and the wind howled dismally round the Palace.</p> - -<p>The Grand Duke Paul arrived about 7 o’clock in the evening. The Empress -was engaged in writing letters for the officers to convey to the -Emperor, but she received the Grand Duke without a moment’s delay.</p> - -<p>The interview took place in the red drawing-room. Marie and I were in -the adjoining study, and from time to time we heard the loud voice of -the Grand Duke and the agitated replies of the Empress. Marie began to -get apprehensive.</p> - -<p>“Why is he shouting at Mamma?” she asked. “Don’t you think I had better -see what’s the matter, Lili?”</p> - -<p>“No, no,” I said, “we had better remain here quietly.”</p> - -<p>“<i>You</i> can remain, but I’ll go to my room,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_165" id="page_165">{165}</a></span>” she answered. “I can’t bear -to think Mamma is worried.”</p> - -<p>Hardly had the Grand Duchess left the study when the door opened and the -Empress appeared. Her face was distorted with agony, her eyes were full -of tears. She tottered rather than walked, and I rushed forward and -supported her until she reached the writing-table between the windows. -She leant heavily against it, and, taking my hands in hers, she said -brokenly:</p> - -<p>“<i>Abdiqué!</i>”</p> - -<p>I could not believe my ears. I waited for her next words. They were -hardly audible. At last: “<i>Le pauvre ... tout seul là bas ... et passé -... oh, mon Dieu, par quoi il a passé! Et je ne puis pas être près de -lui pour le consoler.</i>”</p> - -<p>“<i>Madame, très chère Madame, il faut avoir du courage.</i>”</p> - -<p>She paid no attention to me, and kept on repeating, “<i>Mon Dieu, que -c’est pénible.... Tout seul là bas!</i>” I put my arms around her and we -walked slowly up and down the long room. At last, fearing for her -reason, I cried: “<i>Mais Madame—au nom de Dieu—il vit!!</i>”</p> - -<p>“Yes, Lili,” she replied, as if new hope inspired her. “Yes, he lives.”</p> - -<p>“I entreat you, Madame, don’t lose your courage, don’t give way: think -of your children and of the Emperor.”</p> - -<p>The Empress considered me with almost painful scrutiny.</p> - -<p>“And you, Lili, what of you?”</p> - -<p>“Madame, I love you more than anything in this world.”</p> - -<p>“I know it—I see it, Lili.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_166" id="page_166">{166}</a></span>”</p> - -<p>“Well, Madame, <i>write</i> to him. Think how pleased he will be.” I drew the -Empress towards the writing-table, and she sank on a chair.... “Write, -dear Madame, write,” I repeated.</p> - -<p>She obeyed almost like a child, murmuring, “Yes, Lili ... how glad he’ll -be.”</p> - -<p>Feeling that I might venture to leave the Empress for a few minutes, I -went in search of Dr. Botkin, who gave me a composing draught for -her.... But the Empress did not wish to take it, and it was only when I -said: “For <i>his</i> sake, Madame,” that she complied.</p> - -<p>The sound of bitter weeping now attracted my attention. In one corner of -the room crouched the Grand Duchess Marie. She was as pale as her -mother. She <i>knew</i> all! At this moment Volkoff, that faithful servant, -entered, and in trembling tones announced that dinner was served. The -Empress rose and endeavoured to regain her composure.... I followed her -into the next room. She looked round. “Where is Marie?” she said.</p> - -<p>I went back to the red drawing-room. Marie was still crouching in the -corner. She was so young, so helpless, so hurt, that I felt I must -comfort her as one comforts a child. I knelt beside her, her head rested -on my shoulder. I kissed her tear-stained face.</p> - -<p>“Darling,” I said, “don’t cry.... You will make Mamma so unhappy. Think -of <i>her</i>.”</p> - -<p>At the words, “Think of <i>her</i>,” the Grand Duchess remembered the -unswerving devotion of the children towards their parents. Every thing -was always subservient to Mamma and Papa.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_167" id="page_167">{167}</a></span></p> -<p>“Ah ... I’d forgotten, Lili. Yes, I must think of Mamma,” she answered. -Little by little her sobs ceased, her composure returned, and she went -with me to her mother.</p> - -<p>That night the Empress and I sat up very late: she had paid her usual -visit to the Grand Duchesses, when she had tried outwardly to appear -calm. But alone with me it was a different matter. The Empress told me -that the Emperor had abdicated in favour of the Tsarevitch. “Now <i>he’ll</i> -be taken from me,” she cried. “The people are to assume the Regency. -What shall I do?” She started at every footfall; she trembled at the -mere sound of a voice.... One idea obsessed her—someone might come at -any moment to take away her son!</p> - -<p>“But, Madame, nothing can be done until the Emperor returns.”</p> - -<p>“No, surely they will not dare; and he’ll be with us very soon,” she -said. Then, with her usual unselfishness, the Empress insisted upon -seeing Count Benckendorff. “I must console him and strengthen him. I can -imagine his state of mind.”</p> - -<p>It was an affecting interview.... I do not know what actually -transpired, but, when the Empress returned, she was crying. “<i>Le pauvre -vieux</i>,” she murmured, as if to herself.</p> - -<p>I did not allow the Empress to see how apprehensive I was, how utterly -despairing. I did not share her optimism.... The position was most -precarious, and the desperate condition of the Grand Duchesses augmented -the general unhappiness. Our only hope lay in the Emperor’s return—at -any rate, his presence would afford us some moral protection! That night -Marie and I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_168" id="page_168">{168}</a></span> slept in the red drawing-room. We lay awake for hours -talking about the new developments. But one thought consoled us. The -Emperor was still alive!</p> - -<p>When the Empress paid her usual visit to the Grand Duchesses, she told -us that her first idea was to see all those in the Palace, and console -them as much as possible. Countess Gendrinkoff, her devoted -lady-in-waiting, who was away visiting a sick relative, returned to -Tsarkoe directly she heard of the Emperor’s abdication, and her meeting -with the Empress was most touching. At first neither of them spoke; and -then the Countess, usually a most self-contained individual, broke into -bitter weeping.</p> - -<p>It was a tragic morning. Towards noon the Empress sent for me. “Lili,” -she said, “the Duma is losing no time. M. Rodziansko<a name="FNanchor_2_2" id="FNanchor_2_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_2" class="fnanchor">[2]</a> has intimated -that we must make our preparations for departure. He says we are to meet -the Emperor somewhere <i>en route</i>. But we can’t possibly go; how can we -move the children? I’ve spoken to the doctors, and they say it would be -fatal! I’ve told Rodziansko this, and he is returning later to acquaint -me with the decision of the Duma.”</p> - -<p>Rodziansko and his colleagues returned at the time appointed. They were -at once taken to the Empress.</p> - -<p>“The decision of the Duma is unalterable,” said Rodziansko curtly.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_169" id="page_169">{169}</a></span></p> -<p>“But my children—my daughters ...” pleaded the Empress.</p> - -<p>“When a house is on fire, it is best to leave it,” answered Rodziansko, -with a sardonic smile.</p> - -<p>There was apparently nothing to be done. We were at the mercy of -Tiberius, and we commenced our preparations for departure. The Empress -asked me if I would like to accompany them. I begged to be permitted to -do so. “I <i>cannot</i> leave you, Madame,” I said.</p> - -<p>We endeavoured to ’phone to certain friends, but it was impossible. At -last the operator, in frightened tones, whispered, “I can’t give you the -number; the telephone is not in our hands. I beg you, don’t talk—I’ll -ring you up directly it is safe.”</p> - -<p>In the course of the afternoon a servant informed us that an officer of -one of the Tartar regiments begged the Empress to receive him. The -Empress asked me to interview him, as she felt too ill to do so, and -accordingly I went over to the fourth wing of the Palace, where the -officer was waiting. As I traversed the long corridors, I heard the -sound of rough voices. I stopped, terrified, at the entrance of one of -the salons—the Mixed Guards were just about to change the guard; but -“changing the guard” was no longer the decorous proceeding of -yester-year! When the fresh detachment entered the salon, they threw -themselves literally into the arms of the other soldiers, shouting, -“New-born citizens of freedom, we congratulate you.”</p> - -<p>I passed the “new-born citizens of freedom,” and I found Lieutenant -Markoff, to whom I explained the reason of my “deputising.” The poor boy -had been wounded, he could scarcely stand; but his spirit was -unconquerable.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_170" id="page_170">{170}</a></span> “Madame,” he said, “I’ve fought my way through the mob -in order to see the Empress, and assure her of my devotion. The -assassins wanted to tear off my epaulettes with <small>HER</small> cypher. I told them -that the Empress had given them to me, and that it was her right alone -to deprive me of them. I’ve arrived here at last.... I entreat you to -ask the Empress to allow me to remain somewhere near her.... I don’t -care if I wash up the dirty plates. I’ll do anything—only let me stay!”</p> - -<p>I promised Markoff to deliver his message, and on my way back I heard -the soldiers laughing and singing. Sick at heart, and utterly disgusted -at their behaviour, I reported it to the Empress. “<i>Les malheureux</i>,” -she said, “<i>ce n’est pas leur faute, c’est la faute à ceux qui les -trompent</i>.” She granted poor young Markoff’s request, and told me to see -General Resin, and arrange for Markoff to be included in his detachment.</p> - -<p>I suppose the first idea of most people in the position of the Empress, -faced with hurried flight, would have been to save their jewels. But -jewels were a secondary consideration with the Empress; her chief -treasures were those of sentiment, and, as I watched her collecting her -favourite books and photographs, I thought that in this instance, as in -all others, she was more of the woman than the Empress. And the idea of -leaving the scene of many of her happiest associations must have been -heart-rending to her. She had transformed the Palace into a home; here -she had watched the beautiful growth of her four fair daughters and her -adored<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_171" id="page_171">{171}</a></span> son. And here she was destined to drink the uttermost dregs of -the Cup of Sorrow.</p> - -<p>Whilst she was gathering together her personal treasures, the Empress, -recalled in imagination to Petrograd, by the sight of a photograph, -asked me to telephone to Prince Ratief, the Commandant of the Winter -Palace, and tell him that her thoughts were with them all. Fortunately I -was enabled to do so; the Prince himself answered my call. “I thank Her -Majesty from my heart. We are still alive, but crowds surround the -Palace,” he said.</p> - -<p>After dinner, we went to see the Grand Duchesses, and then to the mauve -boudoir—there was no news from the Emperor; all sorts of rumours were -current, the most insistent being that he had returned to G.H.Q.</p> - -<p>Sunday, the 5th of March, was for us another hopeless dawn. The Empress -gave orders for a Te Deum to be sung, and the miraculous ikon from -Znaminie<a name="FNanchor_3_3" id="FNanchor_3_3"></a><a href="#Footnote_3_3" class="fnanchor">[3]</a> brought to the Palace and taken to the sick-rooms. The -procession bearing the ikon passed through the Palace; the Empress -walked in it, and, as I looked at the lovely representation of the -Virgin and Child, the expression of the eyes seemed the same which I had -often seen in those of the Empress—a combination of Faith, Hope and -Tragedy!</p> - -<p>It was a strange sight to witness the solemn little procession as it -traversed the almost deserted splendours of the Palace. Incense wafted -wreaths of perfume towards Heaven, the solemn chant rose and fell, the -gold and blues of the Virgin’s draperies glowed when the ikon passed one -of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_172" id="page_172">{172}</a></span> the windows, the sacred symbol of the Cross raised its head above -the tumult of Revolution. It seemed to me as if this were some last -appeal to God, Who, we are told, is a God of Love and Pity.</p> - -<p>The Empress was anxious that the ikon should be taken to Anna’s room, so -the procession wended its way thither. There, as usual, were the fuss -and overcrowding which seemed inseparable from Anna’s attack of measles; -doctors, nurses and sisters took up all the available space, so, whilst -the Empress was praying by the bedside, I stood by the door. One of the -doctors from Anna’s hospital was near, and, recognising me, he -whispered: “I say, Madame Dehn, I think I shall say good-bye to the -Palace. Things are getting too hot for <i>my</i> comfort.” But, if he -expected an answer, he received <i>none</i>. I simply stared at him.</p> - -<p>The Empress was still kneeling by Anna’s bed, and Anna, now thoroughly -hysterical and <i>exaltée</i> by reason of much incense and many prayers, was -crying and kissing the Empress’s folded hands. It is quite impossible -for English readers to imagine such a scene, but these religious -processions in the case of illness were of common occurrence with us.</p> - -<p>I went back to see Anna later in the evening, and, when I entered the -bedroom, I was surprised to see the matron of Anna’s hospital, who was -praying—a taper in her hand. Directly she saw me, her prayers took unto -themselves wings; we had always disliked each other, so our conversation -was short and to the point.</p> - -<p>“What, are <i>you</i> still here?” she exclaimed, meaningly.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_173" id="page_173">{173}</a></span></p> - -<p>“Yes ... I’m <i>here</i>,” I replied, with equal emphasis.</p> - -<p>Anna said nothing; she looked more childish than ever, and very ill at -ease. The impression which I received was a bad one, and, when I related -to the Empress what I had seen, she wrote to the doctor at the hospital, -and asked him to send for the matron, as her presence was not required. -Soon after this she resigned, and, like many others of her kind, she -left Tsarkoe for an unknown destination.</p> - -<p>On Monday, March 6th, all was in readiness for our departure. But one -thing yet remained for us to do, and this was, in my eyes, of the utmost -importance. During one of my restless nights, I suddenly remembered that -the Empress had always kept a diary and that she possessed the diaries -of her friend, Princess Orbelliany, which had been bequeathed to her by -the Princess.</p> - -<p>These contained most intimate accounts of various people, and events -connected with the Court. I likewise remembered the Empress’s -sentimental habit of preserving correspondence with associations, and I -dreaded the possibility of either letters or diaries falling into the -hands of the Revolutionaries. I knew that the worst construction would -be placed by the “Sons of Freedom” on anything unusual which these -papers might contain. Even the Empress’s habit of calling people by pet -names might be construed as sensualism or treason!</p> - -<p>I hardly dared suggest the wisdom of destroying this personal property, -but my devotion triumphed over my nervousness. To my intense surprise, -the Empress at once agreed to do as I proposed.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_174" id="page_174">{174}</a></span></p> - -<p>It may be argued that I was guilty of the worst Vandalism in persuading -the Empress to destroy her diaries and correspondence. I may have been, -in an historical and artistic sense—but I was right on the score of -friendship. We had already experienced the misconstruction which had -been put on <i>one</i> sentence in a letter: What might not be the fate of -the contents of the Imperial diaries if they fell into the hands of -censorious and “pure-minded” Revolutionaries?</p> - -<p>Princess Orbelliany’s diaries were burned first. They consisted of nine -leather-bound volumes, and we experienced much difficulty in destroying -them. This <i>auto-da-fé</i> of sentiment took place in the red drawing-room, -but we did not attempt to finish burning the diaries and correspondence -in one day. It was at best a melancholy task, and we decided to spread -it over a week—especially as the Grand Duchesses were very ill, and we -had to be with them constantly. Olga was now suffering with inflammation -in the head, and Anastasie made little or no progress.</p> - -<p>After lunch, when the Empress and I were sitting in the mauve boudoir, -we were startled by the sudden entrance of Volkoff. He was very -agitated, his face was pale, he trembled in every limb. Without waiting -to be addressed by the Empress, and utterly oblivious of etiquette, he -cried: “The Emperor is on the ’phone!”</p> - -<p>The Empress looked at Volkoff as if he had taken leave of his senses; -then, as she realised the full import of his words, she jumped up with -the alacrity of a girl of sixteen, and rushed out of the room.</p> - -<p>I waited anxiously. I kept on praying that a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_175" id="page_175">{175}</a></span> little happiness might yet -be hers ... perhaps, for all we knew, the danger had passed.</p> - -<p>When the Empress returned, her face was like an April day—all smiles -and tears!</p> - -<p>“Lili,” she exclaimed, “imagine what were his first words ... he said: -‘I thought that I might have come back to you, but they keep me here. -However, I’ll be with you all very soon.’<span class="lftspc">”</span> The Emperor added that the -Dowager Empress was coming from Kieff to be with him, and that he had -only received the Empress’s wires <i>after</i> the abdication. “The poor -one!” said the Empress. “How much he has suffered! how pleased he’ll be -to see his mother!”</p> - -<p>Thus the day which had begun so sadly ended happily ... we went at once -to tell the glad news to the Grand Duchesses and the Tsarevitch, who was -much better, and greatly excited at the prospect of his father’s return. -M. Gilliard, a charming Swiss, who taught the children French, was with -him, but Mr. Gibbs, his English tutor, was in Petrograd. I always -remember Mr. Gibbs and his kindness to me. On one occasion upon going to -Petrograd he put himself to great inconvenience to get news of Titi, and -procure clothes for myself. Notwithstanding innumerable difficulties, he -returned with reassuring tidings of Titi, and a clean nurse’s uniform -and lingerie for myself.<a name="FNanchor_4_4" id="FNanchor_4_4"></a><a href="#Footnote_4_4" class="fnanchor">[4]</a><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_176" id="page_176">{176}</a></span>x</p> - -<h3><a name="CHAPTER_III-b" id="CHAPTER_III-b"></a>CHAPTER III</h3> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">After</span> our usual visit to the children (March 7th) the Empress and I went -into the red drawing-room, where a fierce fire was burning in the huge -grate, and we recommenced our work of destruction.</p> - -<p>A large oaken coffer had been placed on the table; this coffer contained -all the letters written to the Empress by the Emperor during her -engagement and married life. I dared not look at her as she sat gazing -at the letters which meant so much. I think she re-read some of them, -for at intervals I heard stifled sobs, and those sighs which have their -origin in the heart’s bitterness. Many of the letters had been written -before she was a wife and a mother. They were the love-letters of a man -who had loved her wholly and devotedly, who still loved her with the -affection of that bygone Springtime. Little dreamt either the lover or -the beloved that these letters were afterwards destined to be wet with -tears.</p> - -<p>The Empress rose from her chair, and, still weeping, laid her -love-letters one by one on the heart of the fire. The writing glowed for -an instant, as if desirous of burning itself into her very soul, then it -faded, and the paper became a little heap of white ash.... Alas for -Youth! Alas for Love!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_177" id="page_177">{177}</a></span></p> - -<p>When the Empress had destroyed her correspondence, she handed me her -diaries to burn. Some of the earlier volumes were gay little books bound -in white satin; others were bound in leather. She smiled bravely as I -took them, and an immense disgust seized me when I thought that the -country of my birth was responsible for her misery and the injustice -meted out to her. “I can’t bear Russia,” I cried. “I hate it.”</p> - -<p>“Don’t dare say such things, Lili,” said the Empress. “You hurt me.... -If you love me, don’t ever say you hate Russia. The people are not to -blame; they don’t understand what they are doing.”</p> - -<p>A coloured post-card of South Russia fell out of one of the diaries. I -picked it up. It was a pretty picture of young girls standing in a -flower-starred meadow ... and it brought Revovka back to me. “That’s -<i>home</i>,” I murmured. But the Empress heard my words.</p> - -<p>“What did you say? Repeat it, Lili. You said, ‘That’s <i>home</i>.’ Now you -must never say you hate Russia.”</p> - -<p>At this time, I am proud to say, the Empress relied on me as woman to -woman. To her, I was always “Lili,” or “My brave girl.” I was her friend -in trouble. The fact that I possessed no official position mattered -nothing to her; every moment I was writing letters, taking messages, and -seeing people on her behalf. I obeyed her absolutely, and her gentle -influence gave me fresh strength to hope and to endure.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_178" id="page_178">{178}</a></span></p> - -<p>The burning of the diaries extended over Wednesday and Thursday ... but -on Thursday one of the Empress’s dressers came to the red drawing-room -and begged us to discontinue. “Your Majesty,” said she, “the sweepers -are searching for the half-charred pieces of paper, some of which have -been carried up the chimney. I beg of you to cease.... These men are -talking among themselves.... They are utterly disloyal.” But our task -was completed—at any rate we had checkmated the curiosity of the -Revolutionaries!</p> - -<p>At 7 o’clock the Empress asked me to telephone again to the Winter -Palace. As on the previous occasion, Prince Retief answered me.</p> - -<p>“How are things with you?” I enquired.</p> - -<p>“The mob is even now at the gates of the Palace,” he replied with -absolute unconcern. “I beg you, Madame, to present my assurances of -fidelity and devotion to the Empress.... I may not be able to do so -again.... Ah!... I thought as much. Madame, it distresses me to appear -discourteous, but I fear I am about to be killed.... The doors of this -room are being forced!” His voice ceased—there was a terrible crash.... -I could bear no more, and the receiver slipped from my nerveless hands.</p> - -<p>We remained in the mauve boudoir until quite late, but, just as we were -about to go to bed, Volkoff entered in a state of painful agitation. He -managed to tell us that M. Goutchkoff had arrived, and insisted upon -seeing the Empress. It was then 11 o’clock.</p> - -<p>“But, at this hour—it’s impossible,” said the Empress.</p> - -<p>“Your Majesty, he <i>insists</i>,” stammered Volkoff. The Empress turned to -me—terror and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_179" id="page_179">{179}</a></span> pathos in her eyes. “He has come to arrest me, Lili,” -she exclaimed. “Telephone to the Grand Duke Paul, and ask him to come at -once.” Regaining her composure, the Empress rearranged the Red Cross -head-dress which she had taken off, and stood waiting in silence for the -Grand Duke. Neither Marie nor myself dared speak. At length, after what -seemed an interminable agony of suspense, the Grand Duke entered, and -the Empress told him in a few words about her ominous summons. The next -moment, loud voices in the corridor, and the banging of a door, -announced Goutchkoff’s arrival in the adjoining room.</p> - -<p>Goutchkoff, the Minister of War during the Revolution, was an openly -avowed personal enemy of the Emperor, whom he had never forgiven for not -having accepted him at his own valuation as the uncrowned king of -Moscow. He had compelled the Emperor to abdicate through revenge; -spiteful curiosity now urged him to gloat over the sufferings of a -defenceless woman! He was a hideous creature, who wore big spectacles -with yellow glasses, which partially disguised the fact that he was -unable to look anyone straight in the face.</p> - -<p>Marie and I clung desperately to the Empress; we were certain that all -was now finished. She kissed us both tenderly, and passed out with the -Grand Duke Paul, an infinitely tragic figure, recalling to my mind a -vision of Marie Antoinette, whose troubles possessed so many -similarities with those of the Empress. Volkoff, that loyal servant, -true to the traditions of Imperial regime, informed us that Goutchkoff -had brought two A.D.C.’s with<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_180" id="page_180">{180}</a></span> him, and that one of these men had -accosted him with the words: “Ha, ha! Here we are. You didn’t expect us -to-night, eh? But <i>we</i> are masters of the Palace <i>now</i>!”</p> - -<p>Marie and I sat side by side on the sofa, the young girl shook with -fear, but her terror was not for herself—Marie, like all the children, -thought only of her beloved mother.</p> - -<p>In this crisis of their fortunes, the Imperial Family manifested no -sorrow at the loss of their rank and prestige. The only anxiety shown by -them was the fear of parting one from the other. Theirs might have been -the words inscribed upon the wall of a certain old prison in Italy: -“Better death than life without you.” And, if the report of their death -be true, they most mercifully never knew the pain of separation.</p> - -<p>At last footsteps sounded in the corridor—the door of the boudoir -opened—and, to our unspeakable relief, we saw the Empress!</p> - -<p>Marie ran towards her mother, half crying, and half laughing, and the -Empress quickly reassured us.</p> - -<p>“I am not to be arrested this time,” she said. “But, oh! the humiliation -of the interview! Goutchkoff was impossible—I could <i>not</i> give him my -hand. He told me that he merely wanted to see how I was supporting my -trials, and whether or no I was frightened.” Her pale cheeks were -rose-flushed, her eyes sparkled—at this moment the Empress was terrible -in her anger. But she soon regained her calm dignity, and we bade her -good night, thankful that she was spared to us.</p> - -<p>Wednesday, March 8th, is a day momentous<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_181" id="page_181">{181}</a></span> in the annals of new-born -Russia, inasmuch as it witnessed the arrest of a woman and five sick -children, and of those adherents who knew the meaning of the words -Friendship and Duty.</p> - -<p>In the morning Count Benckendorff came to inform us that the Emperor -would arrive at Tsarkoe on the 9th, and that the Revolutionary -authorities had decided to arrest everyone in the Palace by noon. The -Count asked the Empress to give him a list of those of her suite who -would be willing to remain, and the Empress at once addressed me: “Lili -... do you understand what this order means? After it is enforced, -nobody will be allowed to leave the Palace, all news from outside will -be stopped. What do you wish to do? Think of Titi ... Can you bear to be -without tidings of him?”</p> - -<p>I did not hesitate. “My greatest wish is to remain with you, Madame,” I -replied.</p> - -<p>“I knew it!” exclaimed the Empress. “But ... it will, I fear, be a -terrible experience for you.”</p> - -<p>“Don’t worry on my account, Madame,” I answered. “We will share the -danger together.”</p> - -<p>At noon, General Korniloff made his appearance at the Palace with the -order for the arrest of the Imperial Family. The Empress received him -wearing her Red Cross uniform, and she was genuinely pleased to see him, -since she laboured under the mistaken idea that he was well disposed -towards herself and the family. She was entirely mistaken, as Korniloff, -thinking that the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_182" id="page_182">{182}</a></span> Empress disliked him, never lost an opportunity of -spreading the most malicious reports concerning her.</p> - -<p>Korniloff told the Empress that the Palace troops were to be replaced -with those of the Revolution; there was no use for the Mixed Guard and -the Cossack Convoi; the Palace was now thronged with Revolutionaries, -who were walking about everywhere. When the officers of the Mixed Guard -bade farewell to the Empress, many of them broke down and sobbed. She -afterwards told me that it was also for her a most painful moment. The -officers asked the Empress for a handkerchief, as a souvenir of her and -the Grand Duchesses.... This handkerchief they proposed to tear in -pieces, and divide between them; and later, to their great joy, we sent -them some “initial” handkerchiefs.</p> - -<p>It was a day of good-byes; many officers came in from Petrograd to bid -farewell to the Imperial Family; the Tanieffs left, as the Empress had -insisted upon them returning to the Palace of the Grand Duke Michael, -where they might reasonably hope to be in safety.</p> - -<p>At last the Empress decided to tell the Grand Duchesses about the -abdication ... she could not bear this painful task to devolve upon her -husband. She therefore made her way to their apartments, and was with -them alone for a long time. Anantasie seemed to sense what had happened -... and after her mother had left them she looked at me, and said, very -quietly, “Mamma has told us everything, Lili; but, as Papa is coming, -<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_183" id="page_183">{183}</a></span>nothing else matters. However, you have known what was going on ... how -could you keep it from us? Why, you’re usually so nervous ... how is it -you are so calm?”</p> - -<p>I kissed her, and said that I owed all my fortitude to her mother. She -had set such an example of courage that it was impossible for me not to -follow it.</p> - -<p>When the Empress broke the news to the Tsarevitch, the following -conversation took place:</p> - -<p>“Shall I never go to G.H.Q. again with Papa?” asked the child.</p> - -<p>“No, my darling—never again,” replied his mother.</p> - -<p>“Shan’t I see my regiments and my soldiers?” he said anxiously.</p> - -<p>“No ... I fear not.”</p> - -<p>“Oh dear! And the yacht, and all my friends on board—shall we never go -yachting any more?” He was almost on the verge of tears.</p> - -<p>“No ... we shall never see the ‘Standart.’ ... It doesn’t belong to us -now.”</p> - -<p>The Empress and I took tea together, and she told me how glad she felt -that the Garde Equipage had left their colours in the Palace. “I should -be so sorry to think that the colours were in the possession of the -Duma,” she remarked. At that moment we heard the sound of voices, and a -noise of singing and shouting. The Empress sprang off the couch on which -she was lying, and rushed across to the window. “Oh, Madame, don’t look, -I implore you,” I said, fearing the worst. But she did not hear me. Then -I saw her grow pale, and she fell back half fainting on the couch. The -sailors were leaving the Palace with the colours!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_184" id="page_184">{184}</a></span></p> - -<p>The Grand Duchess Marie was seized with measles late that evening. Like -her sister, Anastasie, she dreaded being ill. “Oh, I did so want to be -up when Papa comes,” she kept on repeating, until high fever set in, and -she lost consciousness ... her last comprehensible words being, “Lili, -can’t you sleep with Mamma to-night?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, darling,” I told her. “I won’t leave Mamma alone—I’ll be -somewhere near her, even if I have to sleep in the bath.”</p> - -<p>I went to the Empress. “Madame,” I said, “will you permit me to remain -near you to-night?”</p> - -<p>“No, Lili, certainly not. If anything should happen, why should you be -obliged to witness a tragedy?” she replied.</p> - -<p>I returned to Olga and Tatiana, who, like Marie, were very anxious about -their mother. “Lili, you <i>must</i> not leave Mamma alone. One of us has -always slept with her<a name="FNanchor_5_5" id="FNanchor_5_5"></a><a href="#Footnote_5_5" class="fnanchor">[5]</a>—she’s not strong. Promise, promise us that you -won’t leave her alone;” and, when the Empress came to pay her last visit -to the sick-room, the Grand Duchesses reiterated their request.</p> - -<p>The Empress at first demurred ... but, when she realised how much the -Grand Duchesses dreaded her being left alone, she consented. “Well, -Lili,” she said reluctantly, “you see that the children must have their -own way. But I will not allow anyone to think I am frightened. Undress -upstairs, and, when my maids have left me, slip down the private -staircase, bring your</p> - -<p><a name="ill_14" id="ill_14"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<a href="images/ill_006-a_lg.jpg"> -<img src="images/ill_006-a.jpg" width="281" height="333" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a> -<div class="caption"><p>HIS IMPERIAL MAJESTY AND THE TSAREVITCH, 1913</p></div> -</div> - -<p><a name="ill_15" id="ill_15"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<a href="images/ill_006-b_lg.jpg"> -<img src="images/ill_006-b.jpg" width="280" height="338" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a> -<div class="caption"><p>THE EMPRESS</p> - -<p>(End of 1915)</p></div> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_185" id="page_185">{185}</a></span></p> - -<p class="nind">sheets and blankets, and you can make up a bed on the couch in my -boudoir.”</p> - -<p>It was a bright moonlight night. Outside, the snow lay like a pall on -the frost-bound Park. The cold was intense. The silence of the great -Palace was occasionally broken by snatches of drunken songs and the -coarse laughter of the soldiers. The intermittent firing of guns was -audible. It was a night of beauty, defiled by the base passions of men.</p> - -<p>I went quietly downstairs to the mauve boudoir. The Empress was waiting -for me, and as she stood there I thought how girlish she looked. Her -long hair fell in a heavy plait down her back, and she wore a loose silk -dressing-gown over her night clothes. She was very pale, very ethereal, -but unutterably pathetic.</p> - -<p>As I stumbled into the boudoir with my draperies of sheets and blankets -she smiled—a little affectionate, mocking smile, which deepened as she -watched me trying to arrange my bed on the couch. She came forward, -still smiling. “Oh, Lili ... you Russian ladies don’t know how to be -useful. When I was a girl, my grandmother, Queen Victoria, showed me how -to make a bed. I’ll teach <i>you</i>.” And she deftly arranged the bedding, -saying, as she did so: “Take care not to lie on this broken spring. I -always had an idea <i>something</i> was amiss with this couch.”</p> - -<p>The bed-making “à la mode de Windsor” was soon finished, and the Empress -kissed me affectionately and bade me good night. “I’ll leave my bedroom -door open,” she said; “then you won’t feel lonely.”</p> - -<p>Sleep for me was impossible. I lay on the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_186" id="page_186">{186}</a></span> mauve couch—<i>her</i> -couch—unable to realise that this strange happening was a part of -ordinary life. Surely I must be dreaming; surely I should suddenly awake -in my own bed at Petrograd, and find that the Revolution and its -attendant horrors were only a nightmare! But the sound of coughing in -the Empress’s bedroom told me that, alas! it was no dream.... She was -moving about, unable, like myself, to sleep. The light above the sacred -ikon made a luminous pathway between the bedroom and the boudoir, and -presently the Empress came back to me, carrying an eiderdown. “It’s -bitterly cold,” she said. “I want you to be comfortable, Lili, so I’ve -brought you another quilt.” She tucked the quilt well round my -shoulders, regardless of my protestations, and again bade me good night.</p> - -<p>The mauve boudoir was flooded with moonlight, which fell directly on the -portrait of the Empress’s mother, and on the picture of the -Annunciation. Both seemed alive.... The sad eyes of the dead woman -watched the gradually unfolding tragedy of her daughter’s life, whilst -the radiant Virgin, overcome with divine condescension, welcomed the -angel who hailed her as blessed among women.</p> - -<p>Masses of lilac were arranged in front of the tall windows. It was -customary for a fresh supply of lilac for the mauve boudoir to be sent -daily to Tsarkoe Selo from the south of France; but, owing to the -troublous times, no flowers had reached the Palace for a couple of days. -Just before dawn, the dying lilac seemed to expire in a last breath of -<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_187" id="page_187">{187}</a></span>perfume ... the boudoir was suddenly redolent of the perfume of Spring -... tears filled my eyes. The poignant sweetness hurt me—winter was -around us, and within our hearts. Should we ever know the joys of blue -skies, and the glory of a world new-born?</p> - -<p>All was silent, save for the footsteps of the “Red” sentry as he passed -and repassed up and down the corridor. At first the Revolutionaries had -celebrated their sojourn in a Palace by singing seditious and obscene -songs, but little by little these had ceased ... the soldiers slept. My -mind reverted constantly to the sick girls and to their brother, who, -happily, unlike them, did not share their apprehensions. What a contrast -this night presented to the quiet, happy nights of long ago! I confess -it was difficult to see the hand of God in this—to me—unnecessary -suffering, and to accept all in the spirit of humility which the Empress -manifested.</p> - -<p>At seven o’clock the Empress told me I had better return to the red -drawing-room, so I gathered my bedclothes together and slipped -unperceived and unheard up the staircase.<a name="FNanchor_6_6" id="FNanchor_6_6"></a><a href="#Footnote_6_6" class="fnanchor">[6]</a><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_188" id="page_188">{188}</a></span></p> - -<h3><a name="CHAPTER_IV-b" id="CHAPTER_IV-b"></a>CHAPTER IV</h3> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">On</span> the morning of Thursday, March 9th, the Empress came into the Grand -Duchesses’ bedroom; she was agitated and anxious, as she had been -informed that the Emperor would arrive at the Palace between eleven and -twelve. I went with her to see the Tsarevitch, and we sat by his bed -talking to him. The little boy was very excited, and he kept on looking -at his watch, and counting the seconds which must pass before his -father’s arrival.</p> - -<p>Presently we heard the sound of an automobile, and Volkoff entered. The -faithful servant had refused to accept the fact of the Emperor’s -abdication, and, in a manner worthy of Imperial traditions, he -announced:</p> - -<p>“His Majesty The Emperor!”</p> - -<p>The Empress sprang from her chair, and ran out of the room. I, too, -rose. The meeting between the reunited family must not, surely, be -witnessed by any outsider! But the Tsarevitch seized my hand. “No, no, -Lili, you’re not to leave me,” he insisted, so I sat down by him for -five minutes, and eventually I managed to slip away and take refuge in -Anna’s room—where I remained until after lunch, when I was summoned to -the Imperial presence.</p> - -<p>Following my instructions, I went into the Grand Duchesses’ room; the -Empress was not<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_189" id="page_189">{189}</a></span> there. Suddenly I heard the sound of footsteps. I knew -to whom they belonged—but they were no longer the footsteps of a -confident and happy man. They sounded as if the person who was advancing -was very, very tired.</p> - -<p>I trembled from head to foot—I dared not at first raise my eyes. When I -did so, I encountered the tragic, weary eyes of the Emperor.</p> - -<p>He advanced to where I was standing, and took my hands in his, saying, -very simply:</p> - -<p>“Thank you, Lili, for all you have done for us ... and I?... what have I -done for you? Absolutely nothing! Why, I have not even kept Dehn near -you.”</p> - -<p>“Your Majesty,” I answered, now unable to speak without crying ... “it -is for me to thank you for the privilege of being allowed to remain with -you.”</p> - -<p>As we went into the red salon, and the light fell on the Emperor’s face, -I started. In the darkened bedroom I could not see clearly, but I now -realised how greatly he had altered. The Emperor was deathly pale, his -face was covered with innumerable wrinkles, his hair was quite grey at -the temples, and blue shadows encircled his eyes. He looked like an old -man; the Emperor smiled sadly when he saw my horrified expression, and -he was about to speak, when the Empress joined us; he then tried to -appear the light-hearted husband and father of the happy years; he sat -with us and chatted on trivial matters, but I could see that he was -inwardly ill at ease, and at last the effort was too much for him. “I -think I’ll go for a walk—walking always does me good,” he said.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_190" id="page_190">{190}</a></span></p> - -<p>We passed through the corridors to Anna’s apartments, where the Emperor -left us, and went downstairs. The Empress and I entered the bedroom, and -stood by one of the windows which looked out over the Park. Anna was -very excited; she kept talking and crying, but we had eyes only for the -Emperor, who by this time was outside the Palace. He walked briskly -towards the Grande Allée, but suddenly a sentinel appeared from nowhere, -so to speak, and intimated to the Emperor that he was not allowed to go -in that direction. The Emperor made a nervous movement with his hand, -but he obeyed, and retraced his steps; but the same thing -occurred—another sentinel barred his passage, and an officer told the -Emperor that, as he was now to all intents and purposes a prisoner, his -exercise must be of the prison-yard description!... We watched the -beloved figure turn the corner ... his steps flagged, his head was bent, -his whole aspect was significant of utter dejection; his spirit seemed -completely broken. I do not think that until this moment we had realised -the crushing grip of the Revolution, nor what it signified. But it was -brought home to us most forcibly when we saw the passage of the Lord of -All the Russias, the Emperor whose domains extended over millions of -miles, now restricted to a few yards in his own Park.</p> - -<p>The Empress said nothing, but I felt her hand grasp mine; it was, for -her, an agonizing experience. After an interval, she spoke.... “We’ll go -back to the children, Lili; at any rate we can be together there.”</p> - -<p>The Grand Duchesses were delighted to know<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_191" id="page_191">{191}</a></span> that their father had -returned, and I think the knowledge of his safety acted on them like a -tonic. Poor Marie, who had so longed to be the first to welcome the -Emperor, was now delirious, with intervals of consciousness. When I -entered her room, she recognised me. “Well, Lili, where have you been?” -she exclaimed. “I’ve been waiting and waiting for you. Papa is really -<i>here</i>, isn’t he?” The next moment she was back in the fantastic and -terrible kingdom of fever. “Crowds of people ... dreadful people ... -they’re coming to kill Mamma!! Why are they doing these things?” Alas, -poor child, others have since asked the same question.</p> - -<p>That day the Emperor and the Empress dined and spent the evening -together. The Empress told me afterwards that the Emperor lost his -self-control when he was alone with her in the mauve boudoir; he wept -bitterly. It was excessively difficult for her to console him, and to -assure him that the husband and father was of more value in her eyes -than the Emperor whose throne she had shared.</p> - -<p class="dtts">. . . . .</p> - -<p>I cannot say that the Revolutionaries treated us with excessive -discourtesy, but some of their methods were reprehensible. For instance, -when certain complications ensued with Marie, it became necessary to -have another medical opinion. This request was at first refused, but -afterwards the authorities agreed, on condition that an officer and two -soldiers were present at the medical examination! Colonel Kotzebue, the -first Revolu<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_192" id="page_192">{192}</a></span>tionary commandant, had formerly been an officer in the -Lancers, and, as he was a distant cousin of mine, I could hardly believe -my eyes when I saw him in this official capacity, and I asked him to -come and talk to me in Anna’s room, as I considered he owed our family -some explanation of his conduct.</p> - -<p>“I can’t imagine why I was nominated for the post,” said Kotzebue. “All -I can tell you, Lili, is that I was awakened in the middle of the night, -and told to report myself at Tsarkoe Selo. Will you assure Their -Majesties that there is nothing I will not try and do for them. This is -really the happiest moment of my life, since it enables me to be of -service to them.”</p> - -<p>When the Empress sent for me on the morning of March 10th, I found her -lying on the couch in her boudoir. The Emperor was with her; she -motioned me to come and sit beside her, and the Emperor talked to us.<a name="FNanchor_7_7" id="FNanchor_7_7"></a><a href="#Footnote_7_7" class="fnanchor">[7]</a> -He first described an incident which had impressed him most strongly -that very morning.</p> - -<p>“When I got up,” he said, “I put on my dressing-gown and looked through -the window which gives on the courtyard.<a name="FNanchor_8_8" id="FNanchor_8_8"></a><a href="#Footnote_8_8" class="fnanchor">[8]</a> I noticed that the sentinel -who was usually stationed there was now sitting on the steps—his rifle -had slipped out of his hand—he was dozing! I called my valet, and -showed him the unusual sight, and I couldn’t help laughing—it was -really absurd. At the sound of my laughter<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_193" id="page_193">{193}</a></span> the soldier awoke, but he -did not attempt to move—he scowled at us, and we withdrew. But what a -conclusive proof of the general demoralisation! All must indeed be at an -end for Russia, as without law, obedience and respect no empire can -exist.”</p> - -<p>The Empress then questioned the Emperor about certain doings at G.H.Q.</p> - -<p>“Some occurrences were exceptionally painful,” replied the Emperor. “My -mother drove with me through the town, which was profusely decorated -with red flags and a profusion of bunting. My poor mother couldn’t bear -to look at the flags ... but the sight of them did not affect me; it -seemed such a stupid and useless display! The behaviour of the crowd was -in curious contrast to this exhibition of Revolutionary power, as they -all knelt, as of yore, when our automobile passed.”</p> - -<p>“I could not bear to say good-bye to Voeikoff, Niloff and Fredericks. -They didn’t want to leave me. I had to insist at last. The -Revolutionaries promised most faithfully not to harm them.”<a name="FNanchor_9_9" id="FNanchor_9_9"></a><a href="#Footnote_9_9" class="fnanchor">[9]</a></p> - -<p>“One thing especially touched me,” continued the Emperor. “When I got -into the train, I noticed five or six schoolgirls who were standing on -the platform trying to attract my attention. I went to the window, and, -when they saw me, they began to cry, and made signs for me to write -something for them. So I signed my name on a piece of paper, and sent it -to the children. But they still lingered on the platform, and, as it -was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_194" id="page_194">{194}</a></span> bitterly cold, I tried to make them understand that they had better -go home. However, when my train left, two hours later, they were still -there. They blessed me, poor children,” said the Emperor, greatly moved -by the recollection. “I hope their pure blessing will bring us -happiness.”</p> - -<p>The Emperor told us that he had received countless telegrams after the -news of his abdication was generally known. Many were abusive, but -others breathed the concentrated spirit of loyalty. Count Keller sent a -telegram informing the Emperor that he declined to recognise the -existence of the Revolution.<a name="FNanchor_10_10" id="FNanchor_10_10"></a><a href="#Footnote_10_10" class="fnanchor">[10]</a> The Count afterwards refused to sign -the documents of allegiance, and he broke his sword and threw the pieces -down.</p> - -<p>“General Rousky was the first to broach the subject of my abdication,” -said the Emperor. “He boarded the train <i>en route</i>, and came into my -saloon unannounced.</p> - -<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Goutchkoff and Shoulgine are also coming to talk to you,’ he informed -me. These gentlemen made their appearance at the next station, and they -were excessively impertinent. Rousky told them that he had already -discussed matters with me. But I refused to be ignored. I struck the -table with my fist. ‘I’m going to speak, I <i>will</i> speak,’ I cried.</p> - -<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>You must abdicate in favour of the Tsarevitch, and the people will -nominate a Regent,’ said Goutchkoff and Shoulgine.</p> - -<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>But,’ I replied, ‘are you sure—can you promise that my abdication -will benefit Russia?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_195" id="page_195">{195}</a></span>’</p> - -<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Your Majesty, it is the only thing to save Russia at the present -crisis,’ they replied.</p> - -<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>But I must think it over.... I’ll give you my answer in a couple of -hours.’<span class="lftspc">”</span></p> - -<p>“The delegates consented. I knew,” continued the Emperor, looking with -affection at his wife, “that their first idea was to separate Alexis -from the Empress, so I spoke to Dr. Fedoroff, who was in the train, and -I asked him whether he considered it advisable to allow the Tsarevitch -to be taken from her.</p> - -<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>It will shorten the Tsarevitch’s life,’ said Fedoroff bluntly.</p> - -<p>“When Goutchkoff and Shoulgine returned, I intimated plainly that I -would not part with my son. ‘I am ready to abdicate,’ I said, ‘but not -in favour of my son, only of my brother.’</p> - -<p>“My decision appeared to trouble them: they asked me to think better of -it, but I was firm. Afterwards I signed the Act of Abdication. The train -was then sent back to G.H.Q.”</p> - -<p>Such is the bare narrative of the abdication, related as nearly as -possible in the Emperor’s own words. Baron Stackelberg, a cousin of my -husband’s, who was travelling with the Emperor, afterwards told me that -he and M. Voeikoff, the Commandant du Palais, met Rousky on the platform -of the station where he joined the train. The two gentlemen were about -to send some telegrams from the Emperor to Rodziansko, in which the -Emperor replied to the former’s request to give Russia a constitutional -government. In the opinion of the Emperor, the moment had not arrived.</p> - -<p>“Whose telegrams are these?” said Rousky.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_196" id="page_196">{196}</a></span></p> - -<p>“His Majesty’s,” answered Baron Stackelberg coldly.</p> - -<p>Rousky snatched the telegrams from Baron Stackelberg, and put them in -his pocket, remarking as he did so, “Useless!” So Rodziansko never -received the Emperor’s telegrams, and Baron Stackelberg, who is now in -Finland, can confirm the truth of the story. M. Voeikoff and the Baron -looked at each other, neither spoke, but each read in the other’s eyes -the unspoken thought—to kill Rousky then and there, and so avenge the -insult to the Emperor. But Rousky had disappeared—the moment for -righteous murder had passed!</p> - -<p class="dtts">. . . . .</p> - -<p>Life at first went on much as usual after the Emperor’s return: he -always insisted upon reading the daily papers, but the filth of the -gutter press sickened and pained him. One evening I happened to come -into the library where the Emperor was reading a newspaper: his -expression showed that something had seriously displeased him. “Just -look here, Lili,” he said, showing me the portraits of the new Cabinet. -“Look at these men.... Their faces are the real criminal type. And yet I -was asked to approve of this Cabinet, and to agree to the Constitution,” -he added with a touch of bitterness.</p> - -<p>My time was now fully occupied. The Grand Duchess Marie was seriously -ill, and I relieved the Empress in nursing her.... I had taken upon -myself the task, formerly performed by the Empress, of sponging poor -Marie’s body, and, when the child was conscious, she liked me to brush -and comb her lovely hair, which became sadly tangled<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_197" id="page_197">{197}</a></span> as she tossed to -and fro in her delirium. Marie was the first unmarried Grand Duchess to -sleep on a “real” bed of her own, but, as she was so ill, we moved her -from the narrow camp-bed to a more comfortable resting-place.</p> - -<p>The Empress was a skilful nurse; she was especially expert in changing -sheets and night-clothes in a few minutes without disturbing the -patients. When I showed my surprise, she said quite simply: “I learnt to -do useful things in England.... I’ve never forgotten what I owe to my -English upbringing.”</p> - -<p>One day my cousin, Kotzebue, told me that an English gentleman, Mr. A. -Stopford,<a name="FNanchor_11_11" id="FNanchor_11_11"></a><a href="#Footnote_11_11" class="fnanchor">[11]</a> a friend of the Grand Duchess Marie Paul, was desirous of -being of use to the Empress. He had, it appeared, a cult for the -Imperial Family, and, as he was about to return to England, he asked -Kotzebue whether the Empress would not like to send some letters by him -to her relations. I told the Empress at once. It seemed such a wonderful -chance.... Her first cousin, King George V, and his devoted consort, -would surely welcome news from the Imperial Family!</p> - -<p>The Empress was deeply touched by Mr. Stopford’s offer. “I’ll think -about it, Lili,” she said. But the next day she told me that she had -decided not to communicate with King George and the Queen. “I <i>can’t</i> -write. What can I say? I’m too hurt and wounded by my country’s -behaviour.... But even with this I can’t speak against Russia.... -Besides, the Emperor is more worried than ever; he is so fearful that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_198" id="page_198">{198}</a></span> -his abdication, and the unrest, may spoil the Great Offensive.... No ... -we can’t communicate with our cousins.”</p> - -<p>Both the Emperor and the Empress constantly referred to England. The -first idea of the Duma had been to induce the Imperial Family to go to -England, but certain powers there were antagonistic to the proposition, -as it was considered likely to be unfavourably received by the Labour -Party. But those who were fearful of sheltering a defenceless family, -whose only crime consisted in being defenceless, need have had no -apprehensions.</p> - -<p>The Emperor and the Empress did not wish to leave Russia. “I’d rather go -to the uttermost ends of Siberia,” said the Emperor. Neither he nor the -Empress could face the prospect of wandering about the Continent, and -living at Swiss hotels as ex-Royalties, snapshotted and paragraphed by -representatives of the picture papers, and interviewed by amazing -American journalists. Their retiring spirits shrank from cheap -publicity; they considered that it was the duty of every Russian to -stand by Russia, and face the common danger together.</p> - -<p>Apart from their personal disinclination to go to England, the Soviets -were opposed to the suggestion, and it was stated that, if any train -left Tsarkoe with the Imperial fugitives, it would be stopped, and -everyone murdered, as the Emperor knew too much to be allowed to leave -Russia.</p> - -<p>The Emperor brought me the newspaper which contained this statement. He -was in a terrible rage.... He could scarcely contain himself, and he -almost threw the paper at me.</p> - -<p>“Read this, Lili,” he exclaimed, his face white<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_199" id="page_199">{199}</a></span> with passion. -“<i>Beasts!</i> How dare they say such things.... They judge others by -themselves.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, Your Majesty,” I answered, greatly troubled, “please don’t read -these horrible papers.”</p> - -<p>“I must, I must, Lili. I feel that I must know all,” said the Emperor.</p> - -<p>Occasionally he was in better spirits, and more like his old cheerful -self. The Emperor was generally able to see the humour of any situation, -and he would sometimes laugh at the idea of being, what he called, “an -Ex.” Everything was then “Ex.” “Don’t call me an Empress any more—I’m -only an Ex,” laughed the Empress; and one day, when some especially -unpalatable ham was served at lunch, the Emperor remarked, “Well, this -may have once been ham, but now it’s nothing but an ‘ex-ham.’<span class="lftspc">”</span> He was -always amused by the likeness between him and his cousin, King George. -One day he showed me a photograph of the latter, saying, “Have you seen -my last photograph, Lili? Doesn’t it flatter me?”</p> - -<p>He had a great admiration for his cousin, and the Empress often spoke of -Queen Alexandra, ... her beauty, her sympathetic nature, and her -boundless charity. “I would so much like to see my married sister in -England,” she invariably added, whenever she discussed her family. -“Darmstadt is only a little spot in the garden of my memories,” she -would say, “but my mother died there, so I can’t really be blamed for -liking Darmstadt.... Isn’t ‘Home sweet Home’ typically English?</p> - -<p>“None of my daughters shall marry German<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_200" id="page_200">{200}</a></span> Princes,” she said on one -occasion. It was suggested that Anastasie’s future home might be in -England, and the Empress welcomed the idea.... An English marriage would -have been very near her heart. But “<i>l’homme propose, et Dieu dispose</i>.” -If Russia had not betrayed herself, or if she had remained as solidly -united as France, nothing would ever have been heard of the -pro-Germanism attributed to the Empress. She was essentially -English—English in her dress, her personal habits, her absolutely -Victorian outlook; some of her ideas respecting a <i>ménage</i> were akin to -those of the <i>Hausfrau</i>, but even these were English, as domesticity has -always been a British attribute.</p> - -<p>The Empress showed no special marks of favour to Germans who had settled -in Russia. The reports of her having done so are untrue, or greatly -exaggerated. There is no doubt that German agents were very active in -Russia, and that the octopus of espionage put forth its tentacles in -every direction. But in justice to a much defamed woman, surely it is -unfair to credit her with being the instigator of this. Every European -country was riddled with Germans, England more so than any other, and, -although it was more intimately connected with Germany by marriage and -consanguinity, no stones were ever hurled at the various personages, -Royal and otherwise, who were really not as English as was the Empress. -I remember, in connection with her impartial outlook, that, in 1910, a -wealthy German named Faltsfein, was obsessed with the idea of becoming a -Russian nobleman. A friend of his, an officer named Masloff, asked the -Empress<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_201" id="page_201">{201}</a></span> to make it possible for Herr Faltsfein to change his skin, but -she was very disgusted, and told Masloff that nothing would induce her -to put such a proposal before the Emperor!</p> - -<p>One awful day a lorry full of soldiers, in charge of an excessively -ill-favoured officer, arrived at the Palace. Kotzebue interviewed him.</p> - -<p>“I’ve come to fetch the Emperor,” said the officer, with an unprintable -oath. “He’s going to be imprisoned in ‘Peter and Paul.’<span class="lftspc">”</span></p> - -<p>“You cannot remove the Emperor,” answered Kotzebue. “I am commandant -here. I refuse to give up the Emperor at your orders.”</p> - -<p>“Ah ... ah ... I knew it,” shouted the officer. “The Emperor has -fled!... we were told so in Petrograd. Let’s search the Palace.”</p> - -<p>Kotzebue almost came to blows with the man. “I tell you the Emperor is -<i>here</i> ... I’ll prove it.” He then sent for Count Benckendorff and told -him to ask the Emperor to pass through the corridor whilst the soldiers -were looking. In a few moments the Emperor came slowly down the corridor -... the officer rushed threateningly towards him, but Kotzebue -restrained him, saying, “Well, you——, now you’ve seen the Emperor. Go -back to the Soviet, tell them he’s still here, and don’t come again on a -fool’s errand.”</p> - -<p>The Emperor now walked in the Park every day, and each time he returned -greatly depressed at some fresh mark of disrespect. “But,” he said, -“it’s very foolish to think that this behaviour can affect my soul—how -petty of them to seek to humiliate me by calling me ‘Colonel’ ... after -all, it’s a very worthy appellation.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_202" id="page_202">{202}</a></span>”</p> - -<p>The Empress was a tragic figure, and, in her invariable Red Cross -uniform, she symbolised Pity, in a world which knew not the meaning of -the word. Every hour that I knew her, I loved her more.</p> - -<p>One day, Kotzebue told me that Titi was ill; in fact, <i>very</i> ill, but I -did not like to agitate the Empress until Kotzebue came to ask her to -permit me to go with him and telephone from the basement of the Palace. -She was greatly distressed to hear that her godson was ill, and equally -concerned at not having been told before. “My poor girl, what you must -have suffered!” she said.</p> - -<p>Kotzebue and I descended into the basement: two soldiers guarded the -telephone, and I was informed that I could only be allowed five minutes’ -conversation.</p> - -<p>“How is the child?” was my first question.</p> - -<p>“Very ill, Madame,” answered my maid.</p> - -<p>“Please, please bring him to the ‘phone.’<span class="lftspc">”</span> I waited impatiently, and -then a little feeble voice whispered: “<i>Maman ... c’est vraiment toi! -quand viendras-tu?</i>”</p> - -<p>At that moment a soldier interposed.</p> - -<p>“Your five minutes is up!”</p> - -<p>I returned to the Empress, almost heart-broken, but I endeavoured to -appear cheerful. The interminable day wore away, evening fell, and I -assisted at what had now become a sort of nightly routine. Every evening -the Emperor wheeled the Empress in her invalid-chair across the Palace -in order to visit the suite. It was a melancholy pilgrimage. She first -stopped to talk with the Benckendorffs, and afterwards passed from group -to group of her faithful adherents,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_203" id="page_203">{203}</a></span> taking Anna’s room on the way -back—Anna, so to speak, representing the last word in dejection, as she -was ever full of terrors and presentiments.</p> - -<p>That night I was glad to seek refuge in the red drawing-room and find -myself alone, and able to indulge in what is described as “a good cry.” -As I left the mauve boudoir, the Emperor and the Empress kissed me, and -made the Sign of the Cross. I felt instinctively that they loved me, and -were sorry for me.</p> - -<p>A bright fire was burning in the red drawing-room, but I did not -undress—I sat in front of the fire thinking of Titi. Yet even the -knowledge that my son was seriously ill did not suffice to make me feel -that my place was not here. I knew in my soul that the Empress came -first, and would always be first where my duty was in question. I was -well aware that I might never see my husband or my child again ... but I -knew that I should follow the Imperial Family wherever Destiny might -beckon me. I confess I had my moments of weakness, when I longed for the -security of home, and the peaceful existence which had hitherto been -mine. To-night I felt more than usually despondent. The fire burnt low, -and I sought to read the future in the red embers, just as I had done at -Revovka in the long ago. Suddenly I heard the door of the salon open -very softly, and a line of light pierced the darkness ... someone was -coming in!</p> - -<p>I turned quickly to face the person who dared intrude upon the privacy -of the apartments occupied by the Imperial Family.... Was it some fresh -assumption of power on the part of the Revolutionaries?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_204" id="page_204">{204}</a></span></p> - -<p>But my visitor was no emissary of the Revolution—the slender figure -standing in the doorway was that of the Empress. She looked more than -usually fragile ... she breathed with difficulty, her face was pale with -fatigue, and, when I remembered the arduous ascent of the stairs, I was -terrified lest a heart attack would ensue.</p> - -<p>“Madame, Madame,” I cried, “is anything amiss? Are you in danger?”</p> - -<p>“Hush, Lili,” said the Empress. “The Emperor and I are quite safe. But I -couldn’t rest without coming to see you. I know all about Titi, I quite -realise what you feel.” She took me in her arms just as a tender mother -might have done, and she soothed me and caressed me. “My poor, dear -child,” she said. “Only God can help you. Trust in Him, as I do, Lili.”</p> - -<p>We mingled our tears, and she stayed with me for some considerable time. -It was a strange scene, but I wish that those who revile the memory of -the Empress could have seen her then, and experienced the pity, love and -understanding which were so essentially her prerogatives. She -strengthened and consoled me as no other could have done, and her last -words of comfort before she left me were: “Perhaps they’ll let us bring -Titi from Petrograd to the Red Cross Hospital opposite the Palace, then -you could always see him through one of the windows.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_205" id="page_205">{205}</a></span>”</p> - -<h3><a name="CHAPTER_V-b" id="CHAPTER_V-b"></a>CHAPTER V</h3> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> Tsarevitch was now almost well, and running about the Palace much as -usual. I do not think he noticed many changes, the Revolution conveyed -nothing to him except when he missed certain of his soldiers and his -friends. He was still a happy, light-hearted child.</p> - -<p>The Imperial Family had no presentiment of disaster for themselves, but -they suffered untold agonies of mind over the fate of Russia. “Can you -imagine what it means to the Emperor to know that he is cut off from -active life?” said the Empress.</p> - -<p>Soon after the episode of telephoning from the basement, Kotzebue went -to Petrograd. I was anxious for his return, as he had promised to go and -see Titi, and bring me the latest news from home. Days passed ... I -became apprehensive, and made enquiries, only to be told that we should -not see him again at Tsarkoe! I saw in this an omen of coming trouble, -so I went at once to the Emperor and acquainted him with what I had -heard. The Emperor and the Empress were watching some of the -ladies-in-waiting who were walking in the Park, followed by sentinels; -the Empress noticed my agitation.</p> - -<p>“Why, Lili, whatever is the matter?” she enquired.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_206" id="page_206">{206}</a></span></p> -<p>“Madame ... I hear that Kotzebue is to be replaced.”</p> - -<p>The Emperor looked at me. Then, shrugging his shoulders, he remarked: -“Well—it can’t be helped” and straightway changed the conversation ... -possibly to calm our fears, or more probably to show how unaffected he -was by the mandates of the Revolutionaries.</p> - -<p>The long, monotonous days passed—we endured them alternately with the -calmness of despair and with gratitude for their dullness. Once we -witnessed a sight of horror. Hearing a sound of military music, and the -tramp, tramp of many people, we went to the windows, and saw a funeral -procession wending its way across the snow-covered Park. But this was no -ordinary funeral; the dead were some of the soldiers who had been killed -at Tsarkoe Selo on the first day of the Revolution. It was a red -burial—the coffins were covered in scarlet, the mourners were dressed -in scarlet, and scarlet flags waved everywhere. Seen in the distance the -procession looked like a river of blood flowing slowly through the Park. -Everything was red and white, and the superstitious might have inferred -from this a presage of the innocent blood so soon to be outpoured ... -since the snow was not whiter than the souls of the young and beautiful -who are now safe in the keeping of a God of Justice, who most surely -will repay!</p> - -<p>None of us could forget the impression produced by this funeral; blood -seemed everywhere, and terror lurked in the shadows. The soldiers were -buried in the Park, within sight of the Palace—another refinement of -torture for those whose imaginations were already overexcited. Our -nerves were frayed, although I do not think that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_207" id="page_207">{207}</a></span> we were guilty of -giving way to our emotions. But it was difficult to maintain our -composure when insolent officers treated us in a shameful manner, or a -soldier called the Empress by some filthy epithet. One soldier, however, -was a Bayard. He possessed an English name, and his father taught in a -school at Riga. This man was really extraordinary. He was not only -polite, but he invariably tried to show us that he did not share the -Revolutionary outlook. The two regiments which were at the Palace -distinguished themselves by a series of petty thefts; not even the -spoons were safe. I suppose they would have described these articles as -“Souvenir spoons”!</p> - -<p class="dtts">. . . . .</p> - -<p>We were no longer to complain of monotony. Even then, events unknown to -us were moving quickly, and in my case definitely.</p> - -<p>The Grand Duchess Marie was still very ill, and Anna, who knew this, -decided to go and see her. The Empress was against the idea; Anna was -ill, she said, and it was better for her health and her safety to keep -as quiet as possible, and not to draw any undue attention to her -presence in the Palace. So strongly did the Empress disapprove, that she -was taken in her wheeled chair to see Anna, but she returned more -nervous and apprehensive than before.</p> - -<p>I spent the morning with the Empress, and I lunched with Anna, in the -apparently forlorn hope of dissuading her from attempting to see Marie. -After luncheon we discussed the burning question of Kotzebue’s -disappearance. Suddenly we were startled by hearing a noise in the -corridor.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_208" id="page_208">{208}</a></span>... Anna instantly rang the bell. A servant answered it.</p> - -<p>“Who is outside?” demanded Anna.</p> - -<p>“I don’t know,” replied the man, who was evidently much disturbed; “the -soldiers are here.” At this moment a <i>skorohod</i><a name="FNanchor_12_12" id="FNanchor_12_12"></a><a href="#Footnote_12_12" class="fnanchor">[12]</a> entered, and handed -me a tiny folded note. I opened it.... Written in pencil, in the -Empress’s handwriting, were these ominous words:</p> - -<p>“<i>Kerensky passe par toutes nos chambres, pas avoir peur—Dieu est là. -Vous embrasse toutes les deux.</i>”<a name="FNanchor_13_13" id="FNanchor_13_13"></a><a href="#Footnote_13_13" class="fnanchor">[13]</a></p> - -<p><a name="fax_3" id="fax_3"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/ill_017.jpg" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /> -</div> - -<p>Heavy footsteps sounded in the corridor. I had barely time to slip the -precious note inside my bodice when the door was flung open, and a man, -followed by two others, came in. I stood up at once and looked at our -visitor—it was Kerensky himself!</p> - -<p><a name="ill_16" id="ill_16"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<a href="images/ill_007-a_lg.jpg"> -<img src="images/ill_007-a.jpg" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a> -<div class="caption"><p>THE EMPRESS AT TOBOLSK</p></div> -</div> - -<p><a name="ill_17" id="ill_17"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<a href="images/ill_007-b_lg.jpg"> -<img src="images/ill_007-b.jpg" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a> -<div class="caption"><p>THE EMPRESS WITH GRAND DUCHESS TATIANA</p> - -<p>[During the Captivity at Tsarskoe Selo</p></div> -</div> - -<p><a name="ill_18" id="ill_18"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<a href="images/ill_007-c_lg.jpg"> -<img src="images/ill_007-c.jpg" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a> -<div class="caption"><p>THE GRAND DUCHESSES (left) MARIE: ANASTASIE (right)</p></div> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_209" id="page_209">{209}</a></span></p> - -<p>I saw a slight man with a pale face, thin lips, shifty eyes, seen under -lowered lids, and a nondescript nose. Kerensky gave one the impression -of being <i>mal soigné</i>.... He was not tall, but slight in figure, and his -head drooped in a curious manner: he wore the blue jacket of an ordinary -workman.</p> - -<p>Kerensky slowly considered us.</p> - -<p>“Are you Madame Anna Virouboff?” he said, addressing Anna.</p> - -<p>“Yes,” replied Anna, faintly.</p> - -<p>“Well, put on your clothes immediately and be ready to follow me.”</p> - -<p>Anna made no answer.</p> - -<p>“Why the devil are you in bed?” he demanded, staring at Anna’s invalid -<i>déshabillée</i>.</p> - -<p>“Because I’m ill,” whimpered Anna, looking more childish than ever.</p> - -<p>“Well” ... said Kerensky, turning to an officer, “perhaps we had better -not move her. I’ll have a chat with the doctors. In the meantime, -isolate Madame Virouboff. Place sentinels before the door—she’s to hold -no communication with anyone. Nobody is to come into this bedroom or to -leave it until I give the order.”</p> - -<p>He went out of the room, followed by the officers. Anna and I looked at -each other, speechless with dismay. My first collected thought was for -the Empress. I would not be separated from her.</p> - -<p>“I <i>must</i> try and see Their Majesties,” I said wildly.</p> - -<p>“Yes, Lili, do. For God’s sake see them,” sobbed Anna.</p> - -<p>I opened the bedroom door very softly: the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_210" id="page_210">{210}</a></span> sentinels had not yet -arrived. I caught a glimpse of Kerensky entering the room occupied by -the doctors; then, impelled by some desperate courage, I ran down the -corridors, and arrived breathless in the Grand Duchesses’ apartments. I -found the Empress with Olga. I told her, in a few words, what had -happened. Then distant footsteps warned us of Kerensky’s approach.</p> - -<p>“Run ... Lili—hide in Marie’s room—it’s dark <i>there</i>,” whispered the -Empress.</p> - -<p>I had barely time to crouch down behind a screen in Marie’s room when -Kerensky came in. He took no notice of the sick girl, but went in search -of the Empress, who, with the Emperor, had now gone into the schoolroom. -From where I was hiding I could hear Kerensky shouting. In a few moments -the Empress entered; she was trembling visibly.... The Grand Duchesses -Olga and Tatiana (now convalescent) rushed forward.</p> - -<p>“Mamma, Mamma, what is the matter?”</p> - -<p>“Kerensky has insisted upon my leaving him alone with the Emperor,” -answered the Empress.... “They’ll most probably arrest me.”</p> - -<p>The two girls clung to their mother, and slowly made their way back to -Marie. I had now emerged from behind the screen, and I went into the -schoolroom, where I determined to remain until I saw the Emperor.</p> - -<p>After what seemed a very long time the Emperor came out—alone.</p> - -<p>“Your Majesty,” I cried, “tell me, I implore you, if there is anything -dreadful in store for Her Majesty?”</p> - -<p>The Emperor was painfully nervous. “No,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_211" id="page_211">{211}</a></span> no, Lili, and if Kerensky had -uttered one word against Her Majesty, you would have heard me strike the -table—thus—” and he struck the writing-table with his fist. “But I -hear they’ve arrested Anna. Poor unfortunate woman, what will become of -<i>her</i>?”</p> - -<p>At the sound of her husband’s voice the Empress came out of Marie’s -bedroom. The Emperor told her that Kerensky had arrested Anna because he -suspected that she was implicated in political plots. “If it’s true, -it’s an awful thing,” said Kerensky; “but I suppose everything will now -be disclosed.”</p> - -<p>Their Majesties then related the particulars of their interview with -Kerensky.</p> - -<p>“His first words,” said the Empress, “were, ‘I am Kerensky. You probably -know my name.’</p> - -<p>“We made no answer.</p> - -<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>But you must have heard of me?’ he persisted.</p> - -<p>“Still no reply.</p> - -<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Well,’ said Kerensky, ‘I’m sure I don’t know why we are standing. -Let’s sit down—it’s far more comfortable!’</p> - -<p>“He seated himself,” continued the Empress. “The Emperor and I slowly -followed his example, and, finding that I still declined to speak, -Kerensky insisted upon being left alone with the Emperor.”</p> - -<p>Shortly afterwards, to our great relief, we were informed that Kerensky -had left the Palace and gone to the Town Hall. The new commandant, -Colonel Korovichenko, was then presented to the Empress, who begged him -to allow her to say good-bye to Anna. Korovichenko consented, and the -Empress went, unaccompanied, to Ann<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_212" id="page_212">{212}</a></span>a’s room. She sat very silent when -she returned: she felt the parting keenly, as both the friends knew -that, in all probability, it might be for ever!</p> - -<p>The Emperor, the Grand Duchesses and myself now took up our position in -“Orchie’s room,”<a name="FNanchor_14_14" id="FNanchor_14_14"></a><a href="#Footnote_14_14" class="fnanchor">[14]</a> from which the windows commanded a view of the -entrance to Anna’s apartments. I was sitting by the Empress near the -window.... All at once she took my hand, and said in a voice choked with -emotion:</p> - -<p>“At least, God will allow you to remain, and....”</p> - -<p>Her sentence remained unfinished.... At this moment someone knocked at -the door; it was Count Benckendorff, who had hurried along to tell the -Empress that he still hoped better things for Anna.</p> - -<p>This was only a temporary respite. A little later we heard the sound of -an automobile in the courtyard. I looked down, and saw two automobiles -drawn up in front of the Imperial entrance to the Palace. Another knock! -This time it was a servant who announced:</p> - -<p>“The new Commandant wishes to speak to Madame Dehn.”</p> - -<p>I went out; Korovitchenko, a fair-haired, common-looking man with a hard -mouth, was standing at the end of the corridor.</p> - -<p>“Madame Dehn?” he enquired brusquely.</p> - -<p>“Yes ... I am Madame Dehn.”</p> - -<p>“Well ... get ready. Take as little as possible with you; you are going -with Kerensky to Petrograd.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_213" id="page_213">{213}</a></span>”</p> - -<p>I nearly fainted, but I managed to run back to “Orchie’s room.” In a few -hurried words I acquainted the Empress with Korovitchenko’s orders.... I -could not look at any of them. I tried to be calm, but at the sound of -Tatiana’s uncontrollable sobbing I broke down and wept in the arms of -the Empress.</p> - -<p>“<i>Eh bien</i> ...” she said, releasing me gently from her embrace, “<i>il n’y -rien à faire</i>.”</p> - -<p>“Is Madame Dehn ready?” shouted someone outside.</p> - -<p>The Empress called Zanoty (one of her dressers) and told her to put some -things together in a suit-case. She did not speak to me—or I to -her—our hearts were too full. It was like some terrible nightmare. At -length I managed to go into Anastasie’s room.... She was in bed. I -kissed her many times, and told her that I would never forsake them. -Poor Marie lay asleep in her darkened room.... I kissed her flushed -cheek, blessed her, and went out quietly. There was no time to say -good-bye to the Tsarevitch.</p> - -<p class="dtts">. . . . .</p> - -<p>Zanoty had packed my suit-case, and the Empress now sent her to fetch a -sacred medal, which she hung round my neck, blessing me as she did so. -At the last moment Tatiana ran out of the room, and returned with a -little leather case containing portraits of the Emperor and the Empress, -which had stood on her especial table ever since she was a tiny child. -“Lili ...” she cried, “if Kerensky <i>is</i> going to take you away from us, -you shall at least have Papa and Mamma to console you.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_214" id="page_214">{214}</a></span>”</p> - -<p>Another imperative summons told us that the moment of parting was at -hand. I put on my hat, and we left “Orchie’s room”; the Emperor and the -Empress walked on either side of me, and the Grand Duchesses Olga and -Tatiana followed us. I had never imagined in the “happy” days that it -would ever be my lot to traverse this corridor with a breaking heart, or -under such conditions. For ten years I had received nothing but -affection from the Imperial Family—I had watched the children grow up, -I had been their playmate and their friend—now I had to leave them in -hostile and menacing surroundings.</p> - -<p>Russia had already deprived them of their Imperial state, their -possessions and their liberty: surely she might not have deprived them -of their friends!</p> - -<p>We walked slowly towards the head of the great staircase ... the moment -for saying farewell had arrived ... I tried to be brave ... the silence -was unbroken save by Tatiana’s stifled sobbing. Olga and the Empress -were quite calm, but Tatiana, who has been described by most -contemporary historians as proud and reserved, made no secret of her -grief.</p> - -<p>Two soldiers were waiting on the staircase ... the little group of the -Imperial Family stopped, and surrounded me ... then all pretence of -self-control vanished. We clung together, but our unavailing tears made -no impression on hearts harder than the marble staircase on which we -stood.</p> - -<p>“Come ... Madame ...” said one of the soldiers, seizing me by the arm.</p> - -<p>I turned to the Empress. With a tremendous<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_215" id="page_215">{215}</a></span> effort of will, she forced -herself to smile reassuringly; then, in a voice whose every accent -bespoke intense love and deep religious conviction, she said: “Lili, by -suffering we are purified for Heaven. This good-bye matters little—we -shall meet in another world.”</p> - -<p>The soldiers hurried me down the staircase, but I stopped half-way, and -looked back. The Imperial Family was still where I had left them; with a -rough gesture, my guards motioned me to descend. I could see my beloved -Empress no longer.</p> - -<p>I walked to the door of the second entrance where some officers and -soldiers stood, laughing and talking. Two automobiles were waiting -outside. It was bitterly cold, and a bleak wind howled round the Palace, -and drove the snow in stinging dust against my face as I sat in the open -automobile waiting for Anna. At last she appeared; she looked ghastly, -and her eyes were swollen with crying. Two officers sat facing us, and a -third took his place beside the chauffeur. In this manner we saw the -last of Tsarkoe Selo ... but I had left my heart behind.</p> - -<p>We proceeded rapidly towards the private station, where the automobile -stopped. I walked quickly inside. I held myself erect ... I would <i>not</i> -let our enemies think that I knew the meaning of the word <span class="smcap">Fear</span>. As I -passed, some of the soldiers sneered ... “See how haughty she is,” they -remarked; but I took no notice.</p> - -<p>The Imperial train was waiting, and the thought flashed across my mind -that the Revolutionaries were surely most inconsistent people,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_216" id="page_216">{216}</a></span> since -Kerensky & Co. did not scruple to avail themselves of the luxuries -appertaining to Imperial state. Anna and I made our way to the -drawing-room compartment, where we seated ourselves—I say “ourselves,” -but, in reality, Anna was lying half fainting on a chair. I could just -see the Palace through the window of the saloon, and I looked at nothing -else until the train moved out of the station, and, even then, my -straining eyes sought the familiar building which held so much that was -dear to me.</p> - -<p>Suddenly I became aware that someone was shouting, and thumping on the -floor with a stick. I withdrew from the window to see what was the -matter, and I encountered the angry gaze of Kerensky.</p> - -<p>“Look here ... you’d better listen when I’m talking to you,” he raged.</p> - -<p>I simply looked at him. Nobody had ever addressed me in such a manner! I -am a tall woman; perhaps my height (I towered above him) and my unspoken -contempt made him think better of continuing in this strain.</p> - -<p>“I merely wanted to tell you that I am taking you to the prison of the -Palais de Justice,” said Kerensky. “From there you will be transferred -(with deep meaning) <i>somewhere else</i>, and <i>that</i> will be the actual -place of your imprisonment.”</p> - -<p>I still looked through him, and he beat a retreat into his own -compartment. Ten minutes later we were at Petrograd!</p> - -<p>The A.D.C.’s made Anna go first; I followed and as we walked down the -train we passed through the saloon where Kerensky and another<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_217" id="page_217">{217}</a></span> man were -stretched out comfortably in the Emperor’s easy chairs! When Kerensky -saw me he sat up, and looked me up and down with a kind of half-fierce -curiosity. I returned his appraising glance with one of disdain ... the -next moment Anna and I were told to get into a closed carriage (another -relic of Imperialism), and we drove away in the company of the -A.D.C.’s—mere boys—who were evidently keenly interested in us both.</p> - -<p>I was horrified at the change which the Revolution had wrought in -Petrograd. Its quiet, well-bred look had completely disappeared, it wore -the aspect of a person just recovering from a drunken bout. Red flags -were everywhere, and crowds of unrestful people were waiting in long -queues outside the bakers’ shops. This sight roused Anna from her -lethargy of grief, and, childish as ever, she remarked, quite happily, -“Well, Lili, it’s no better <i>after</i> the Revolution than it was before.” -I silenced her further criticisms with a glance at the A.D.C.’s, and I -felt quite relieved when our carriage sank first in one, and then in -another of the dirty heaps of snow which cumbered the streets, and which -had not been removed by the road sweepers. No policemen were visible; -law and order had ceased to exist, but groups of odd-looking people hung -about at the corners of the streets. These loungers were unmistakably -Jews.... The Ghetto-like appearance of Petrograd was amply accounted -for.</p> - -<p>The carriage stopped outside the Palais de Justice, and we were -conducted down seemingly endless corridors to a room on the fourth -floor.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_218" id="page_218">{218}</a></span> This room was empty, save for two easy chairs, a small chair and -a table on which stood a carafe of cold water. The aides-de-camp told us -to ask the sentinels for anything we wanted, and they were about to -leave us alone when I said to one of them: “Will you try and let my -servants know that I’m here?”</p> - -<p>“Impossible,” he answered, “but in your next prison you’ll be allowed to -see your friends once a week.” The young men then went away, and Anna at -once began to cry. I tried to console her, but I was completely worn -out—my powers of endurance had snapped, since there was no one to be -brave for!</p> - -<p>The room was bitterly cold, and we huddled together, wondering what next -would happen. Suddenly shots rang out in the corridor ... were they -harbingers of death? The firing was followed by coarse laughter, and a -soldier ran into our room. “Ah ... ha!... ha!!...” he mocked, “were you -afraid ... did you think you were going to be killed?”<a name="FNanchor_15_15" id="FNanchor_15_15"></a><a href="#Footnote_15_15" class="fnanchor">[15]</a></p> - -<p>As I sat in the cheerless room, thinking over many things, I suddenly -remembered that Anna had a great predilection for carrying letters and -photographs about with her—my heart sank—supposing that she had done -so now?</p> - -<p>“Anna,” I said, trying to speak lightly, “what papers have you brought -away with you?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, lots, Lili,” answered Anna. “I’ve some letters of the Empress, some -letters from Gregory, and two photographs of him.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_219" id="page_219">{219}</a></span>”</p> - -<p>I suppose my expression must have betrayed me. Anna began to whimper.... -“Oh, Lili, why do you look so grave? Surely they won’t treat us badly? -What <i>shall</i> we do?”</p> - -<p>“You must give me every paper in your possession.”</p> - -<p>She demurred. “But <i>why</i>, Lili?”</p> - -<p>“Because it’s dangerous to retain anything connected either with Her -Majesty or with Rasputin. The worst construction is likely to be placed -on the most innocent expressions ... you cannot surely wish to injure -the Empress!”</p> - -<p>Anna instantly handed over the letters, but the difficulty arose as to -how best to destroy them. To burn them was impossible, as we had no -stove; I therefore decided to tear the letters up in minute pieces, and -throw them down the lavatory which we were permitted to use. In this -way, I destroyed what might have been considered “compromising” -documents!</p> - -<p>After what seemed an interminable time, steps sounded in the corridor, -the door was flung open, and Kerensky entered. He deliberately turned -his back on Anna, but he surveyed me with the same appraising yet -hostile scrutiny. We looked at each other without speaking.... At last, -he shrugged his shoulders, and remarked to an officer:</p> - -<p>“This place is damnably cold. Have the stove seen to immediately.”</p> - -<p>He left us without another word, and we heard him speaking at some -length outside. The sentinels were then changed, and the soldier who was -on duty in our room began to talk to me.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_220" id="page_220">{220}</a></span></p> -<p>“Well, Mademoiselle,” he said, “it’s ten thousand pities to see you -here ... you <i>do</i> look sad. Whatever have you done?”</p> - -<p>“Nothing.”</p> - -<p>“It’s horrible ... they’ve no right to arrest young ladies like you.”</p> - -<p>“Perhaps the new regulations are responsible for our arrest.”</p> - -<p>“The new regulations!” The man laughed loudly. “That’s a good idea ... I -don’t think they’ll bring much luck. How can we get on without an -Emperor? Don’t imagine that <i>we</i> wanted this. Do you think we joined -willingly? Why, they had to use force to get us ... we were unarmed, it -was no good attempting to resist them.”</p> - -<p>This kindly soul came from South Russia, and, when I told him who I was -and where my estates were situated, he was ready to do anything for me.</p> - -<p>“I’m on duty again to-morrow,” he said, “so try and write a letter, and -I’ll see that it’s delivered.”</p> - -<p>Night fell, and we were faint with hunger and fatigue. A little soup was -brought us, but we could not swallow it. Every few minutes the door -opened, and soldiers came in and made fun of us.</p> - -<p>“We’ve two pretty girls now to look at,” they mocked, but their laughter -was better than their coarse jokes ... some of these made me grow -scarlet with, shame, and I trembled lest their coarseness might become -something unspeakable. We wanted to wash ... but washing was -impossible—we had neither jug nor basin—the only water available was -that in the carafe.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_221" id="page_221">{221}</a></span> I opened my suit-case, and as Zanoty had put some -cotton-wool and lint with my things I quickly made a pad of some of the -wool, and, pouring a little water into the glass, I damped the pad and -mopped my face, drying it afterwards with some more cotton wool. At 1 -a.m. we were surprised to see the two A.D.C.’s come in with some -soldiers. One of the A.D.C.’s addressed Anna.</p> - -<p>“Madame ... we have orders to remove you.”</p> - -<p>Anna caught hold of my hand. “Oh, Lili, Lili,” she moaned, “don’t let -them take me away. Can’t you come with me?... I daren’t go to another -prison without you.”</p> - -<p>“Cannot you let me accompany Madame Virouboff?” I said.</p> - -<p>“The order is for <i>Madame Virouboff</i>,” replied the A.D.C., and at this -moment an officer entered.</p> - -<p>“What’s all the fuss about?” he demanded. The A.D.C. explained. “What -... is Madame Virouboff really here?” cried the officer. “Well, I’ve -always wanted to have a look at her ... which one is it?” The A.D.C. -indicated Anna, who was gazing from one to the other with frightened -eyes.</p> - -<p>“Get up,” ordered the officer.</p> - -<p>Anna meekly obeyed; as she did so, her crutch was visible.</p> - -<p>“But ... what’s wrong?” asked the officer, now evidently greatly -astonished.</p> - -<p>“I’m a cripple,” faltered Anna.</p> - -<p>“Good God,” exclaimed the officer. He was silent, but he examined Anna -much in the same way that a naturalist surveys a prehistoric beast.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_222" id="page_222">{222}</a></span> He -could not reconcile the Anna of reality with the Anna of fiction. In -common with many people, not only in Russia, but all the world over, he -had imagined a totally different Anna Virouboff. Perhaps he had -visualised her as an adventuress of melodrama, a passionate -<i>intrigante</i>, a subtle schemer, the masterful confidante of a weak -Empress!</p> - -<p>What did he actually see?</p> - -<p>Rasputin’s reputed <i>sorcière-en-chef</i> stood before him, a little -trembling creature, with the prettiness and the plaintive voice of a -child. The officer could not believe his eyes.</p> - -<p>“Do you mean to tell me that you are a cripple?” he stammered.</p> - -<p>“I’ve always used a crutch since my railway accident,” she said, -helplessly, “I couldn’t avoid being in an accident, could I?”</p> - -<p>“Extraordinary, extraordinary,” muttered the officer—he was still -looking at her—“now, come along.” But Anna threw herself on my neck, -and refused to leave me. Her sobs were heart-breaking. To do them -justice, the soldiers handled this butterfly broken on the wheel very -gently. A group of journalists, male and female, all equally unkempt, -were busy taking notes, and they glanced half-scornfully and -half-pityingly at the shrinking figure of Anna Virouboff as she -disappeared in the darkness.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_223" id="page_223">{223}</a></span></p> - -<h3><a name="CHAPTER_VI-b" id="CHAPTER_VI-b"></a>CHAPTER VI</h3> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> long days passed in their monotonous progress. I no longer seemed to -belong to the outside world. I heard nothing, nobody came near me—I was -as one dead. But, if my days were monotonous, my nights were full of -horror. When darkness fell, and the authorities relaxed their incessant -watchfulness, the soldiers became brutish ... when I say that I dared -not fall asleep, some idea may be gathered of my dread! I had never met -the eyes of lust until now ... but it was impossible not to understand -the glances of many of the soldiers. And I was not under any false -illusions about the morality of freedom, it might surely be called the -Freedom of Immorality! I thought of my husband far away in England, of -my child lying ill within a short distance of my prison, and of that -dear family for whose sakes I would gladly suffer untold misery. Memory -opened her book, and I saw within its pages people and scenes which -stirred many bitter-sweet recollections in my heart. Once again I walked -under the linden trees at Revovka, and listened to the nightingales. I -saw the forgotten grave with the wild rose weeping her petal-tears over -<i>la morte amoureuse</i>; once again I stood in the Winter Garden waiting to -see the Empress, sometimes I played with Titi and the Grand Duchesses -and heard the Empress’s kind voice. The pale face and hypnotic eyes of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_224" id="page_224">{224}</a></span> -Rasputin recalled my pilgrimage.... The church towers and houses of -Tobolsk rose against the evening sky, the dark and sinister river flowed -past me....</p> - -<p>Memory turned back more pages of her wonderful book, and I saw the -Tsarkoe Selo of yesterday, the sick children, their fragile mother, and -the Emperor, to whom Destiny had proved so cruel.</p> - -<p>I endeavoured to preserve a calm mental outlook, it was useless.... I -wondered whether escape might be possible, but my room was situated on -the fourth floor, I dared not risk the descent from the window. One idea -obsessed me. I <i>must</i> see Kerensky, and this idea grew more intense when -I heard that I was shortly to be removed to another prison. “They are -making enquiries about you,” said the A.D.C.</p> - -<p>“Well, I want you to do something, and inform the Minister Kerensky that -I would like to see him.”</p> - -<p>The A.D.C. was evidently startled by my request.</p> - -<p>“Hm ... I’ll do my best, but—” his gesture was significant of the -hopelessness of such a request.</p> - -<p>Upon his return, the A.D.C. said tersely:</p> - -<p>“I’ve seen about your affair, but Kerensky sleeps; he has just dined.”</p> - -<p>“Will you ask him to see me when he awakes?”</p> - -<p>“Yes....” Again the significant gesture.</p> - -<p>I waited impatiently. I felt that this interview with Kerensky would -prove the critical point in my present desperate situation. I paced up -and down the room, and my nervous agitation<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_225" id="page_225">{225}</a></span> aroused the pity of one of -the soldiers, who remarked kindly:</p> - -<p>“Poor young lady! You <i>do</i> seem worried!”</p> - -<p>Three hours passed.... They seemed like centuries, and then the A.D.C. -entered.</p> - -<p>“The Minister will receive you,” he said.</p> - -<p>I hastily arranged my sadly crumpled Red Cross uniform, and two soldiers -with fixed bayonets stationed themselves on either side of me. The -A.D.C. led the way down endless stairs and lengthy corridors. At last we -halted before a half-open door, and, as I stood there, I smelt the -delicate fragrance of roses. Surely no roses grew in this terrible -prison soil? But the perfume was unmistakable, and I was not left long -to wonder from whence it proceeded.</p> - -<p>I was ushered into a large, well-furnished reception room, formerly -occupied by some Minister under the Empire, and on a table stood an -enormous basket of blood-red roses. On another table was a basket of -scarlet carnations, the warm air was heavy with the mingled odours of -roses and clove pinks. So the Ministers of the Revolution were able to -indulge their taste for roses in March, whilst the Sons of Freedom -clamoured in the snow for bread!</p> - -<p>The door at the extreme end of the room was ajar; presently it opened, -and Kerensky came in. He glanced at me, walked to the writing-table, -where he seated himself, and indicated a place for me.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Kerensky</span>: “Well, what do you want. You asked to see me?”</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Myself</span>: “I want to ask you why I am under arrest. I have never meddled -in politics,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_226" id="page_226">{226}</a></span> they are the last things that interest me. I can’t regard -myself as a political prisoner.”</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Kerensky</span> (taking a roll of paper off the desk, and perusing it): -“Listen.... Firstly, you are accused of staying voluntarily with Their -Majesties when you had no official position at Court. Can you deny -this?”</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Myself</span>: “Certainly not, I have no wish to do so. I stayed with Their -Majesties, as I could not possibly desert them at such a moment. I love -the Imperial Family as individuals. Surely this cannot constitute a -crime in your eyes.”</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Kerensky</span>: “Well ... let it pass.... What is this close friendship -between you and the Empress?”</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Myself</span>: “I am honoured with the friendship of the Empress. She knows my -husband, she has been so good to us that we cannot be devoted enough to -her.”</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Kerensky</span> (impatiently): “Enough of the Empress. What do you want?”</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Myself</span>: “What I ask is <i>not</i> freedom, but imprisonment in my own house. -My child is ill. I want to be with him.”</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Kerensky</span> (laughing satirically): “You didn’t consider your child when -you left him alone in Petrograd in order to remain with your beloved -Empress.”</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Myself</span> (angrily): “I know best <i>why</i> I left him. You call yourself a -patriot ... I suppose you put the love of your country before family -ties? I love the Imperial Family, they come before my family ties. -You’ve taken me away from <i>them</i>—I haven’t gone willingly. Why deprive -me of my child?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_227" id="page_227">{227}</a></span>”</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Kerensky</span> (with sinister emphasis): “Listen, Madame Dehn, <i>you know too -much</i>. You have been constantly with the Empress since the beginning of -the Revolution. You can, if you choose, throw quite another light on -certain happenings which we have represented in a different aspect. -You’re <small>DANGEROUS</small>.”</p> - -<p>A long silence.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Kerensky</span>: “Can you explain why all orders from the Empress passed -through you? You had no official position ... it’s a most suspicious -occurrence.”</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Myself</span>: “We were practically isolated in the private apartments through -fear of contagion. Besides, what orders could the Empress give without -their being known to <i>you</i>?”</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Kerensky</span>: “The servants are witnesses that all orders came through you. -Enquiries will reveal the truth ... if you are honest ... well and good. -If not ... that’s another matter.”</p> - -<p>I looked at him. Kerensky seemed absolutely implacable, but I decided to -make one last appeal. He apparently loved flowers; this proved that, as -his senses could be appealed to, why not his heart?</p> - -<p>“If <i>you</i> had a child of your own, you’d understand my feelings,” I -said.</p> - -<p>Kerensky surveyed me with that now familiar appraising scrutiny. “I -don’t think much of you as a mother,” he replied, smiling coldly, -“but—how old is your child?”</p> - -<p>“He is seven.”</p> - -<p>“Well, Madame, it so happens that I <i>have</i> a child, and he, too, is -seven. I can decide nothing, but I am now going to a Council at which -Prince Lvoff will be present. <i>He</i> must decide.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_228" id="page_228">{228}</a></span>”</p> - -<p>I looked him straight in the eyes. This time he met my gaze fully and -squarely.</p> - -<p>“I’m perfectly certain that you can do anything you like, without -consulting anyone,” I said. This tribute to his vanity appealed at once -to Kerensky. With most men vanity is the most powerful factor. Wound a -man’s vanity and he will never forgive you; pander to it, and he is your -friend for life. Kerensky was no exception: I had discovered the heel of -this Russian Achilles.</p> - -<p>“You are quite right. Of course I can do what I like. Go back to your -room—I’ll send you my answer later in the evening.” He pressed an -electric bell on his table. The A.D.C. entered.</p> - -<p>“Has Madame Dehn a bed in her room?” asked Kerensky. “If not, see that -one is placed there.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, I don’t want a bed,” I interrupted. “Please let me go to my child.”</p> - -<p>“I’ve already told you,” said Kerensky, “that I’ll let you know later. -But ... if I allow you to go home, you must give me your written promise -not to act in any way against us.”</p> - -<p>The A.D.C. made a sign to the soldiers, Kerensky took no further notice -of me, and I was hurried out of the warm flower-scented apartment into -the icy corridor.</p> - -<p>Black despair overcame me when I regained my room. Kerensky had been -non-committal; but I had hopes that my allusion to him as omnipotent -might have some favourable effect; so I sat in the corner nearest the -door, straining my ears to catch the sound of approaching footsteps.</p> - -<p>Shortly after midnight my friend the A.D.C. made his appearance, and, -with a theatrical<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_229" id="page_229">{229}</a></span> gesture, indicative of boundless space, he advanced, -saying:</p> - -<p>“The Minister grants you permission to go home.”</p> - -<p>My feelings are better imagined than described. I sprang up, and made -the Sign of the Cross, and my hand sought the beloved medal hidden in my -dress. So I was really free! I could hardly believe it, surely I could -not have heard aright!</p> - -<p>The A.D.C. told me to put on my hat and cloak and follow him.... Before -I did so he asked me to sign a paper agreeing not to leave Petrograd, -and to hold myself in readiness to be interrogated. I did so; then, -picking up my suit-case, I went downstairs.</p> - -<p>He left me in the hall. I had now apparently lost all interest for him, -as he did not trouble to bid me farewell.... He merely pointed out the -door, and disappeared. I looked round, hardly daring to move. I was not -able to realize that I was free to go when, and where, I chose. I pushed -open the heavy door, and found myself in the cold and darkness outside. -Not a single fiacre was in sight; I felt too exhausted to move, but I -made a supreme effort to walk.... Impossible! My feet slipped in all -directions in the melted snow and slush of the road. Suddenly I noticed -a man who was regarding me with evident curiosity.... My heart sank. -What if this scrutiny meant that I was about to be rearrested?</p> - -<p>The man made his way to where I was standing. “Are you Madame Dehn?” he -enquired civilly.</p> - -<p>“I am.”</p> - -<p>“I thought I recognised you, Madame. I’ve<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_230" id="page_230">{230}</a></span> been at your house several -times. I was formerly Madame Kazarinoff’s footman. Poor, poor Madame, -who would have believed this could happen to you. Let me help you. I -know where I can find a fiacre.”</p> - -<p>He presently returned with a fiacre, and assisted me to get in with all -the courtesy and deference of a well-trained servant. I thanked him many -times.... He gave the direction to the driver, and we drove away.</p> - -<p>It was one in the morning before I arrived home. I rang the bell, and -after some delay the door was opened by my maid ... who nearly fainted -when she saw me.... I couldn’t speak. My thoughts were concentrated on -Titi.... I ran past her upstairs to his room.... It was empty! What had -happened—could he be dead? I hurried across the landing to my -bedroom.... A light was burning.... Someone was in bed.... Thank God, I -recognised the beloved dark head of my boy—he was safe. I fell on my -knees beside him. With a little start, and a smile, which was like balm -to my yearning heart, Titi awoke....</p> - -<p>“Mother, mother....” He flung his arms round me. I covered his face with -kisses. “Where have you come from?” he enquired.</p> - -<p>“From prison.”</p> - -<p>The child began to cry. I realized the tactlessness of my reply. “If -they ever take you away again I’ll go too,” he sobbed. “But where’s -‘Aunt Baby’? What has happened to her? And where is Papa? They say he’s -been killed.”<a name="FNanchor_16_16" id="FNanchor_16_16"></a><a href="#Footnote_16_16" class="fnanchor">[16]</a><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_231" id="page_231">{231}</a></span></p> - -<p>“Darling, darling, I can tell you nothing about Papa.”</p> - -<p>Hearing the sound of voices, my father now came into the room. He was -greatly relieved to know that I was safe, as all sorts of stories were -current respecting my fate and that of Anna Virouboff. But my one -thought was for my child: he was much better, but the room struck cold, -and I asked my father how it was that there was no fire. He shrugged his -shoulders. “<i>Ma chère</i>,” he replied, “the answer is quite simple—we -have no wood! The servants manage to steal a little to burn during the -day, but at night <i>c’est bien autre chose</i>.”</p> - -<p>I undressed as quickly as possible, and got into bed. I held Titi close. -I kissed him passionately. I trembled with mingled joy and fear!.... No -one should separate us. I knew nothing as to our ultimate fate, but I -had made up my mind, during these first hours of freedom, to escape as -soon as possible to my estates in South Russia, and, if the Imperial -Family were removed from Tsarkoe, to join them.</p> - -<p>It was a strange home-coming. The whole house was disorganised. The -servants were still devoted to my interests, but food and fuel were -difficult to obtain. I spent the morning of the next day lying on a -couch in my dressing-room. I was really ill; the long strain had told, -and Nature was now exacting her toll in the shape of occasional heart -attacks. The hours passed peacefully and slowly, but at ten o’clock in -the evening the telephone rang, and my maid told me that the Commandant -of the Equipage de la Garde wanted to speak to me.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_232" id="page_232">{232}</a></span></p> - -<p>I was surprised and vexed. After the way in which certain officers had -treated the Imperial Family, it was not agreeable for me to continue -their acquaintance. However, I went to the ’phone.</p> - -<p>“Madame Dehn,” said a well-known voice, “have you actually come back -from the Palace?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, I returned to Petrograd a few days ago.”</p> - -<p>“I heard that you had been placed under arrest. How is it then that you -are at home?”</p> - -<p>“Kerensky has given me permission to be with Titi. Cannot you, for my -husband’s sake, and as one of his brother-officers, come over and see -me?”</p> - -<p>“Impossible,” answered the voice. “Look here, you can’t stay where you -are.”</p> - -<p>“Very well, since you order, I suppose I must obey. I’ll try and find -somewhere else, as soon as I am rested.”</p> - -<p>“You must go <small>NOW</small>.”</p> - -<p>“I haven’t anywhere to go, and the child is ill.”</p> - -<p>“Take him to an hotel. I won’t be responsible for your safety. Lots of -things may happen during the night.... The sailors may come and murder -you.” The Commandant then rang off, and left me to face this new terror. -But my mind was made up. I would not leave home at a moment’s notice. If -we had to die, we would die together. I was too exhausted, and the child -was too ill, to contemplate a midnight flight.</p> - -<p>I rang up my husband’s nephew, who was in barracks, and he promised to -keep me well advised; but fortunately the night passed peacefully. -Nobody came near the house.</p> - -<p>Weeks elapsed, and Kerensky seemed to have completely forgotten my -existence. I led a quiet<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_233" id="page_233">{233}</a></span> life, but my heart was torn with anxiety -concerning my beloved friends. I received some letters from the Empress, -and I wrote constantly to her, and to the Grand Duchesses. It was in -connection with this correspondence that I was summoned to Tsarkoe Selo, -by order of Commandant Kobilinsky.</p> - -<p>I was instructed to leave Petrograd secretly, and to wear my Red Cross -uniform. It was early in July, and the trees were bravely apparelled in -their young verdure. It was very different to that bleak March afternoon -when the snow lay thickly on the ground, and the wind had stung my face -with its icy breath. Outwardly, at all events, everything was peaceful, -but tears filled my eyes at the recollection of past Julys.... Surely -God would not permit the innocent to suffer; surely Justice would awaken -in the soul of misguided Russia, and all might yet be well.</p> - -<p>As I approached the Palace I became sensible of an eerie change, both in -it and in its immediate surroundings. I stopped to consider in what the -change consisted. Then knowledge dawned upon me. Tsarkoe was a <i>dead</i> -place. Its windows were almost hidden by the straggling branches of the -unclipped trees, grass grew between the stones of its silent courtyard, -and I instantly likened it to a famous Russian picture, “Le Chateau -Oublié.” ... It was indeed a forgotten castle! I walked to and fro -gazing up at the windows, but those within the Palace gave no sign of -life. I wanted to call aloud that I was there, but I dared not imperil -their safety or my own. I considered even now that I held my life in -trust for the service of the Empress.... Who knew when she might require -me?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_234" id="page_234">{234}</a></span></p> - -<p>Kobilinsky had taken up his quarters in the large building opposite the -Palace, so I repaired thither. There were hardly any people visible, and -I was directed to Kobilinsky’s private room. He was a dark, shortish, -nervous man, wearing military uniform, and, as the Empress had written -that he was kind to them, I was naturally anxious to make a good -impression. This interview is of some importance as I am enabled to -contradict a part of Kobilinsky’s deposition which appeared in a recent -publication. In this deposition he queries the name of the writer of -certain letters</p> - -<p><a name="fax_4" id="fax_4"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<a href="images/ill_008_lg.jpg"> -<img src="images/ill_008.jpg" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a> -<div class="caption"><p>PART OF LETTER FROM HER IMPERIAL MAJESTY WRITTEN ON THE -DAY OF DEPARTURE FOR SIBERIA.</p> - -<p>(<i>The note in centre is in the handwriting of the Tsarevitch.</i>)</p></div> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_235" id="page_235">{235}</a></span></p> - -<p><a name="fax_5" id="fax_5"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<a href="images/ill_009_lg.jpg"> -<img src="images/ill_009.jpg" width="504" height="333" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a> -<div class="caption"><p>LETTER RECEIVED AT VLADIVOSTOK, IN 1916, WHEN I WAS ON MY -WAY TO JAPAN WITH MY HUSBAND. HER IMPERIAL MAJESTY HERE GIVES ME A -REPORT OF THE DOINGS OF MY LITTLE SON WHOM I HAD LEFT IN HER CHARGE.</p></div> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_236" id="page_236">{236}</a></span></p> - -<p class="nind">which came to Tsarkoe Selo, and attributes them to quite another person. -The actual writer was myself, and the confusion respecting the signature -arose from the fact that I had used a fanciful name composed of that of -Titi and myself. There was not, and never has been, any “Mysterious -Personage” as Kobilinsky’s deposition leads one to suppose.</p> - -<p>“Are you Madame Dehn?” asked Kobilinsky, eyeing me with some degree of -curiosity.</p> - -<p>“Yes, Commandant!”</p> - -<p>“Are these from you?...” he continued, handing me a packet of letters.</p> - -<p>“Most certainly. They are all in my handwriting,” I said.</p> - -<p>“Then why on earth don’t you sign your full name when you write?” he -queried testily.</p> - -<p>“Because I’ve never been in the habit of doing so. ‘Tili’ is a fanciful -name, a combination of ‘Lili’ and ‘Titi.’<span class="lftspc">”</span></p> - -<p>“I don’t believe you,” he said bluntly. “It is the name of another -lady.”</p> - -<p>“Why don’t you make enquiries if you doubt my word?” I returned. “You’ll -easily find out that I’m telling the truth.”</p> - -<p>“Well, well,” he grumbled. “I suppose I must believe you. But, see here, -Madame, you’ve got to promise me something. You <i>must</i> agree to destroy -all the letters which the Empress has sent you. If you don’t, I won’t -allow you to write or to receive any more letters. I suppose,” he added, -“that such a devoted friend as yourself has not come to-day without -bringing some letters for the Family?”</p> - -<p>I acknowledged that such was the case.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_237" id="page_237">{237}</a></span> Kobilinsky smiled, and took the -letters. He then signified that the interview was over.</p> - -<p>Kobilinsky “passed” many letters to and from the Empress after this, but -I was always haunted by the fear lest my precious correspondence might -be stolen, or else forcibly destroyed. Fortune favoured me, and an -opportunity occurred to send my letters and certain private papers to -England under the safe conduct of General Poole. These papers were -ultimately deposited in a safe in London belonging to Prince George -Shrinsky-Shihmatoff.</p> - -<p>The Empress and the Grand Duchesses corresponded with me regularly after -they left Tsarkoe, in fact up to a few weeks of their departure for -Ekaterinburg. These letters were entrusted to confidential persons and -smuggled by them out of the prison. Those who expect startling -revelations of political importance will be sadly disappointed in these -pathetic little leaves which have drifted from Friendship’s tree across -a passion-racked country, and, like the song, “have found their home” in -the heart of a friend. But, for the student of psychology, the just man -or woman, the curious seeker “behind the scenes” of Royalty, they will, -I think, possess some interest. They will plead for a hearing far more -effectively than any poor words of mine. Not one of them contains a sigh -for the splendours of a throne. The woman who longed to be in the Crimea -at a time of year when the acacias were like “perfumed clouds” made no -allusion to the past glories of the Winter Palace, or the comfortable -“English” life at Tsarkoe Selo. Perhaps the words of the writer who -“being dead<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_238" id="page_238">{238}</a></span> yet speaketh” may serve to efface some of the lies and -scandals which have bespattered the name of an Empress who has been -condemned so unmercifully.</p> - -<p>The Empress and I have never met since that March afternoon when she -bade me farewell. I cannot accept the almost overwhelming proofs of the -tragedy of Ekaterinburg. From time to time reports of the safety of the -Imperial Family have reached us, but the next moment we are faced with -evidence that the whole of them have perished. God alone knows the -truth, but I still permit myself to hope.</p> - -<p>After my interview with Kobilinsky I returned to Petrograd, where I -spent some uneventful weeks. Poor Anna was right when she said that -things were no better after the Revolution than they were before! -Existence was a difficult problem: a period of starvation set in, and -we, like others, became familiar with the pangs of hunger. It was -impossible to procure nourishing food for Titi; so, almost at my wits’ -end, I applied for permission to remove him to South Russia.</p> - -<p>This permission was most unexpectedly granted. Two weeks later -Kerensky’s Government fell, and for the moment I was forgotten!</p> - -<p>We lived very quietly at Beletskovka, and I was always planning the best -way of escape to rejoin my beloved friends. “<i>L’homme propose, et Dieu -dispose.</i>” A wave of Bolshevism swept over South Russia, and our safety -was menaced to such an extent that I was forced to escape with Titi to -Odessa, and, as our adventures in no way touch on the subject of this -book, I shall refrain from relating them. Suffice it to say that we -managed<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_239" id="page_239">{239}</a></span> to reach Odessa, and from thence, under the protection of the -French, we went to Constantinople.</p> - -<p>From Constantinople we made our way to Gibraltar, and from Gibraltar to -England, where my husband was awaiting me after a three years’ -separation.</p> - -<div class="blockquot"><p class="c"> -<span class="smcap">Extract from the Letter of 5 June, 1917.</span><br /> -</p> - -<p class="r"> -<span class="smcap">Tsarkoe Selo.</span><br /> -</p> - -<p>Oh! how pleased I am that they have appointed a new -Commander-in-Chief of the Baltic Fleet (Admiral Raswosoff). I hope -to God it will be better now. He is a real sailor and I hope he -will succeed in restoring order now. The heart of a soldier’s -daughter and wife is suffering terribly, in seeing what is going -on. Cannot get accustomed and do not wish to. They were such hero -soldiers, and how they were spoilt just at a time when it was -necessary to start to get rid of the enemy (Germans). It will take -many years to fight yet. You will understand how he (Tsar) must -suffer. He reads, and tears stand in his eyes (newspapers), but I -believe they will yet win (the War). We have so many friends in the -fighting line. I can imagine how terribly they must suffer. Of -course nobody can write. Yesterday we saw quite new people (new -guard)—such a difference. It was at last quite a pleasure to see -them. Am writing again what I ought not to, but this does not go by -post, or you would not have received it. Of course, I have nothing -of interest to write. To-day is a prayer at 12 o’clock. Anastasia -is to-day 16 years old. How the time flies....</p> - -<p>I am remembering the past. It is necessary to look more calmly on -everything. What is to be done? Once He sent us such trials, -evidently He thinks we are sufficiently prepared for it. It is a -sort of examination—it is necessary to prove that we did not go -through it in vain. One can find in everything something good and -useful—whatever sufferings we go through—let it be, He will give -us force and patience and will not leave us. He is merciful. It is -only necessary to bow to His wish without murmur and await—there -on the other side He is preparing to all who love Him undescribable -joy. You are young and so are our children—how many I have besides -my own—you will see better times yet here. I believe strongly the -bad will pass and there will be clear<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_240" id="page_240">{240}</a></span> and cloudless sky. But the -thunder-storm has not passed yet and therefore it is stifling—but -I know it will be better afterwards. One must have only a little -patience—and is it really so difficult? For every day that passes -quietly I thank God....</p> - -<p>Three months have passed now (since Revolution)!! The people were -promised that they would have more food and fuel, but all has -become worse and more expensive. They have deceived everybody—I am -so sorry for them. How many we have helped, but now it is all -finished....</p> - -<p>It is terrible to think about it! How many people depended on us. -But now? But one does not speak about such things, but I am writing -about it because I feel so sadly about those who will have it more -difficult now to live. But it is God’s will! My dear own, I must -finish now. Am kissing you and Titi most tenderly. Christ be with -you.</p> - -<p>“Most hearty greetings”—(from the Czar).</p> - -<p class="r"> -Yours loving,<br /> -<span class="smcap">Aunt Baby</span>.<br /> -</p></div> - -<div class="blockquot"><p class="r"> -<i>30th July, 1917.</i><br /> -<span class="smcap">Tsarkoe Selo.</span><br /> -</p> - -<p class="nind"> -<span class="smcap">My Dearest</span>,<br /> -</p> - -<p>Heartiest thanks for letter of the 21st. Cannot write—he has no -time to read (“he”—Colonel Kobilinsky, Revolutionary Commandant of -the Palace), the poor man is so busy all the time that he is often -without lunch and dinner. Am pleased have made his acquaintance. E. -S. has seen you (“E. S.”—Doctor Botkin). I am so pleased that you -know all about us.</p> - -<p>Will remember your last year’s trip. Do you remember? Have not been -quite well lately—often had head and heartache. My heart was -enlarged. Am sleeping very badly. But never mind—God gives me His -strength. Have brought the ikon of Snameni (of God Mother). How -thankful I am that this was possible, at this day dear to me -(birthday of Tsarevitch). I prayed hard for you and remembered how -we used to pray together before it. How Tina (Anna Virouboff) will -now suffer—without anybody in the town and her sister in Finland -and her friends going so far away (meaning herself)—how much -people have to suffer—the path of life is so hard. Please write to -A. W. (Colonel Siroboyarski—one of the wounded officers) and send -him heartfelt greetings and</p> - -<p><a name="fax_1" id="fax_1"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<a href="images/ill_010_lg.jpg"> -<img src="images/ill_010.jpg" width="397" height="504" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a> -<div class="caption"><p>I.—PART OF THE LETTER DATED JUNE 5/18, 1917</p> - -<p>(Time of Kerensky’s first unsuccessful offensive)</p></div> -</div> - -<p><a name="fax_2" id="fax_2"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<a href="images/ill_011_lg.jpg"> -<img src="images/ill_011.jpg" width="533" height="377" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a> -<div class="caption"><p>II.—PART OF THE LETTER DATED JUNE 5/18, 1917</p></div> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_241" id="page_241">{241}</a></span></p> - -<p class="nind">blessings <big>✠</big>—kiss you most tenderly and the darling Titi (my son). -God preserve you and the Holy Mother.</p> - -<p class="r"> -Always yours,<br /> -<span class="smcap">Aunt Baby</span>.<br /> -</p> - -<p>Kindest regards (meaning the Czar).</p> - -<p>I remember—Faith, Hope, Love—that is all, all in life. You -understand my feelings. Be brave. Thank you most heartily. All -touched by your little ikons—will just put it on. Ask Rita (Miss -Hitrovo) to write to the mother of your countryman (Colonel -Siroboyarski).</p> - -<p><a name="fax_6" id="fax_6"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<a href="images/ill_012_lg.jpg"> -<img src="images/ill_012.jpg" width="348" height="467" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a> -<div class="caption"><p>PART OF LETTER OF 30TH JULY, 1917.</p> - -<p>(<i>Day of removal from Tsarkoe Selo to Tobolsk. The upper portion is -written by the Grand Duchess Olga, the postscript is in the -handwriting of Her Imperial Majesty.</i>)</p></div> -</div> - -<p class="nind">Added by Tsarevitch:</p> - -<p>Kiss you most tenderly. Thanks for congratulations.</p> - -<p class="r"> -<span class="smcap">Alexei.</span><br /> -<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_242" id="page_242">{242}</a></span></p> - -<p class="nind">Added by Grand Duchess Olga:</p> - -<p>I also kiss you most tenderly and thank you Lili my heart, for post -card, and little ikon. God preserve you.</p> - -<p class="r"> -<span class="smcap">Olga.</span><br /> -</p></div> - -<p class="nind">Added by the Empress:</p> - -<div class="blockquot"><p>Thank you for your dear letters—we understand each other. It is -hard to be separated. Greetings to R. Gor. <big>✠</big> I have learnt only now -how you spent the first days (in prison). It is terrible, but God -will reward. Am pleased that your husband has written. </p></div> - -<div class="blockquot"><p class="r"> -<i>29th November, 1917.</i><br /> -<span class="smcap">Tobolsk.</span><br /> -</p> - -<p class="nind"> -<span class="smcap">My Dearest</span>,<br /> -</p> - -<p>I am for such a very, very long time without news of you, and I -feel sad. Have you received my post card of the 28th October?</p></div> - -<p><a name="fax_7" id="fax_7"></a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<a href="images/ill_013_lg.jpg"> -<img src="images/ill_013.jpg" width="422" height="329" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a> -<div class="caption"><p>CHRISTMAS CARD DRAWN SPECIALLY FOR ME BY HER IMPERIAL -MAJESTY WHILE AT TOBOLSK.</p></div> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_243" id="page_243">{243}</a></span></p> - -<div class="blockquot"><p>Everybody is well—my heart is not up to much, fit at times, but on -the whole it is better.</p> - -<p>I live very quietly and seldom go out as it is too difficult to -breathe in frozen air.</p> - -<p>Lessons as usual. (News from Petrograd) “T” is as always. Zina has -been to see her and O. V., who is very sad, she is always praying. -Father Makari passed on on the 19th July.</p> - -<p>Rumours have it that Gariainoff has married, but we do not know -whether it is true. (Speaking of herself the Empress writes) Aunt -Baby drew this herself. How is Titi?—Granny—I want to know such, -such a lot. How is Count Keller? Have you seen him in Kharkoff? The -present events are so awful for words, shameful and almost funny, -but God is merciful, darling. Soon we shall be thinking of those -days you passed with us. My God, what remembrances!</p> - -<p>Matresha has married, they are now all in P., but the brother is at -the front.</p> - -<p>I read a lot, embroider and draw (I have to do it all with my -spectacles, am so old). I think of you often and always pray -fervently for you and love you tenderly.</p> - -<p>I kiss you very, very much.</p> - -<p>May Christ protect you.</p> - -<p>Your countryman is at Vladivostok and Nicholas Jakovlevitch (one of -the wounded) is, I think, also in Siberia. I am so lonely without -you all. Where is your husband and his friends? We are still -expecting Ysa and the others.</p> - -<p>I kiss Titi tenderly. Write, I am waiting so. Verveine (toilet -water) always reminds me of you.</p></div> - -<div class="blockquot"><p class="r"> -<i>2/15 March, 1918.</i><br /> -<span class="smcap">Tobolsk.</span><br /> -</p> - -<p class="nind"> -<span class="smcap">My own dear Darling</span>,<br /> -</p> - -<p>Best and tender thanks for your dear letter. At last we have -received good news from you; it was an anxious time not to hear for -so long, knowing that things are bad where you are living. I can -imagine though what terrible mental agony you must be going -through, and you are alone. My little godchild (Titi) is with you -always—what he must see and hear! It is a hard school. My God, how -sorry I am for you my little giant one; you have always been so -brave. I think of those days of a year ago. I shall never forget -that you were everything to me and believe that God will not<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_244" id="page_244">{244}</a></span> leave -you or forsake you. You left your son for “Mother” (meaning -herself) and her family, and great will your reward be for this.</p> - -<p>Thank God that your husband is not with you, for it would have been -terrible, but not to know anything about him is more than awful. -When I did not know for four days where mine was “then” (during the -days of the Revolution), but what was that in comparison with you. -But for us, in general, it is better and easier than for others—it -hurts not to be with all our dear ones and not to be able to share -their troubles. Yes, separation is a dreadful thing, but God gives -strength to bear even this, and I feel the Father’s presence near -me and a wonderful sense of peaceful joy thrills and fills my soul -(Tina feels the same), and one cannot understand the reason for it, -as everything is so unutterably sad, but this comes from Above and -is beside ourselves, and one knows that He will not forsake His -own, will strengthen and protect.</p> - -<p>Have news at last, two received new from K.; poor thing, she has a -new sorrow, has buried her beloved father—her mother is with her. -It is not easy for her to stay in town, though she has good friends -and is not so cut off as you are, dearest. Be careful of certain of -your friends—they are dangerous.</p> - -<p>If you see dear Count Keller again, tell him that his ex-Chief -(meaning herself) sends him her heartiest greeting (to her as -well), and tell him that she prays constantly for him. I am anxious -to know whether he has any news of his eldest son. Radionoff and -his brother are in Kieff I hear that Gariainoff and his wife have -been in Gagra and are now—so they say—at Rostoff. Am anxious -about them, all last week have been <i>worrying</i> over it, and do not -know why.</p> - -<p>To-day we have 20 degrees of frost, but the sun is warm and we have -already had real spring days. Godmother (meaning herself) does all -the housekeeping now, looks through books and accounts—a lot to -do, quite a real housewife. Everybody is well—only a few colds, -and feet ached, not very badly, but enough to keep from walking. -They have all grown, Marie is now much thinner, the fourth is stout -and small. Tatiana helps everyone and everywhere, as usual; Olga is -lazy, but they are all one in spirit. They kiss you -tenderly—(stands for the Emperor) sends his hearty greetings. They -are already sunburnt, they work hard, sew and cut wood, or we -should have none. The court is full of timber, so we shall have -enough to last.</p></div> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<a href="images/ill_014_lg.jpg"> -<img src="images/ill_014.jpg" width="388" height="555" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a> -<div class="caption"><p>PART OF LETTER DATED MARCH 2/15, 1918, WHICH REACHED ME -THREE YEARS LATER IN ENGLAND</p></div> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_245" id="page_245">{245}</a></span></p> - -<div class="blockquot"><p>We still are not allowed to go to church. A. V.’s mother (one of -the Empress’s wounded) is very sorry that you have not been to see -her. She is living with some relatives of your mother’s. Their -estate has been taken away from them. The son has returned, he now -looks, as they all do, pale and miserable.</p> - -<p>They, poor things, can no longer keep M. S., and will probably be -obliged soon to leave the house. She hardly ever gets a letter from -her son; he too is complaining, so I copy what they write to me and -send it on to them.</p> - -<p>He is very upset not to hear from you, though he himself has -written to you. He is going to Japan to learn English, he learnt -more than 900 words in ten days and of course overtired himself and -has been feeling ill. He was operated upon in December, in -Vladivostok. Rita writes that Nicholas Jakovlevitch (one of the -wounded) is at Simferopol with his friend, the brother of little M. -Their splendid (good) friend (Alexandre Dumbadze) has been killed -there, we loved him very much, he was one of our wounded.</p> - -<p>I only write what I dare, for in the present days one never knows -in whose hands the letter might fall. We hope to do our devotions -next week if we are allowed to do so. I am already looking forward -to those beautiful services—such a longing to pray in church. I -dream of our church (at Tsarkoe Selo) and of my little cell-like -corner near the altar. Nature is beautiful, everything is shining -and brilliantly lighted up. The children are singing next door. -There are no lessons to-day as it is Friday of Carnival week.</p> - -<p>I relive in mind, day by day, through the year that has passed and -think of those I saw for the last time. Have been well all along, -but for the past week my heart has been bad and I do not feel well, -but this is nothing. We cannot complain, we have got everything, we -live well, thanks to the touching kindness of the people, who in -secret send us bread, fish, pies, etc.</p> - -<p>Do not worry about us, darling, dearly beloved one. For you all it -is hard and especially for our Country!!! This hurts more than -anything else—and the heart is racked with pain—what has been -done in one year! God has allowed it to happen—therefore it must -be necessary so that they might understand, that eyes might be -opened to lies and deceits.</p> - -<p>I cannot read the newspapers quietly, those senseless -telegrams—and with the German at the door!!!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_246" id="page_246">{246}</a></span></p> - -<p>K. and everyone else looks at “brother” as a saviour—Great God, to -what have they come to, to wait for the enemy to come and rid them -from the infernal foe. And who is sent as the leader? Aunt Baby’s -brother (meaning herself). Do you understand. They wished to act -nicely, probably thinking that it would be less painful and -humiliating to her—but for her (meaning herself) it is far -worse—such an unbearable pain—but everything generally hurts -now—all one’s feelings have been trampled underfoot—but so it has -to be, the soul must grow and rise above all else; that which is -most dear and tender in us has been wounded—is it not true? So we -too have to understand through it all that God is greater than -everything and that He wants to draw us, through our sufferings, -closer to Him. Love Him more and better than one and all. But my -country—my God—how I love it, with all the power of my being, and -her sufferings give me actual physical pain.</p> - -<p>And who makes her (Russia) suffer, who causes blood to flow?... her -own sons. My God, what a ghastly horror it all is. And who is the -enemy? This cruel German, and the worst thing for Aunt Baby is that -he (the enemy) is taking away everything as in the time of Tsar -Alexsei Michailovich (meaning that frontiers of Russia would become -again as during the reign of A. M.). But I am convinced that it -will not remain so, help will come from Above, people can no longer -do anything, but with God all things are possible, and He will show -His strength, wisdom and all forgiveness and love—only believe, -wait and pray.</p> - -<p>This letter will, in all probability, reach you on the day of our -parting (one year ago), it seems so near and yet again as if -centuries had passed since then.</p> - -<p>It is seven months that we have been here. We see Ysa<a name="FNanchor_17_17" id="FNanchor_17_17"></a><a href="#Footnote_17_17" class="fnanchor">[17]</a> only -through the windows, and Madeleine (the Empress’s lady’s-maid, -Madeleine Zanotti) too. They have been here for three or four -months to-day, I am told. I must give that letter at once.</p> - -<p>I kiss you and Titi tenderly, Christ be with you, my dearest ones. -Greeting to Mother and Grandmother. The children kiss and love you, -and he (the Emperor) sends his very best wishes.</p> - -<p class="r"> -<span class="smcap">Your old Godmother.</span><br /> -</p></div> - -<p class="dtts">. . . . .</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_247" id="page_247">{247}</a></span></p> - -<h3><a name="LENVOI" id="LENVOI"></a>L’ENVOI</h3> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> first idea of writing this book occurred to me some time after my -arrival in England. I had always known that the Empress had been grossly -misrepresented in Russia, but I had not attached much importance to the -fact, as I had seen the Revolutionary propaganda, and I fully realized -the methods of the Revolutionaries in relation to the Imperial Family.</p> - -<p>I was, however, astonished and horrified to discover that the same ideas -were current in the broad-minded and enlightened country which has -afforded me and so many other fugitives such kindly sanctuary.</p> - -<p>If possible, I think the Empress has been more universally condemned in -England than in Russia. I have scarcely heard her name mentioned without -its being coupled with the degrading attributes of treachery, -sensualism, hysteria, and religious mania. To one who knew her -intimately and who loved her devotedly, such a state of things is -unspeakably painful. I accidentally saw a film which was the grossest -libel on her character and her personality, the mind of the producer -having been apparently bent upon presenting the Empress as a combination -of the chief forms of lurid wickedness which appeal to patrons of the -cinema. I have also read novels about her which, whilst enraging me as -mendacious chronicles, have considerably enlightened me as to the -capacity for<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_248" id="page_248">{248}</a></span> invention of which the human imagination is capable. More -serious works have condemned the Empress in a courteous manner, but they -have been none the less scathing in their judgment. Some writers, after -the story of Ekaterinburg was authentically given to the world, have -been more tolerant and more pitying in their censure, but it has been -always censure.</p> - -<p>Therefore, in the face of such hatred and contempt for one at whose -hands I have received nothing but kindness and love, I determined to -write my impressions of the Empress as I knew her, both in the happy -days and afterwards in those of war and unrest during the first dark -weeks of the Revolution.</p> - -<p>I reasoned, I trust with justice, that although the majority of people -are always ready to believe the worst of anyone, there must be others -who, in the spirit of fair play, would be willing to look on the reverse -side of the picture. There must surely be friends and relations in -England who would welcome facts which proved that the Empress had been -true to her English upbringing and to the traditional right living of -the descendants of Queen Victoria. English people seem to have -forgotten, when the Empress was vilified on the screen and in cold type, -that she was the daughter of Princess Alice, a name which is associated -with all that is noblest and best in woman, a name which alone, one -might have thought, would have pleaded for that of her daughter. But -nothing protected her, not even the facts that her first cousin was King -of England and that one of her sisters was married and living in this -country.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_249" id="page_249">{249}</a></span></p> - -<p>I knew the almost impossible task of rehabilitation which lay before me, -but, as the task daily assumed greater proportions, love and pity for my -beloved friend urged me to attempt it.</p> - -<p>I knew that I might be accused of being a Rasputinière, since my -photograph taken with him had appeared in one of the English illustrated -papers; but my best reply to such a possible charge is that I am living -in England with my husband and child, and that my husband has sanctioned -my description of Rasputin as I and others knew him. If the Empress’s -association with Rasputin had been a guilty one, or if I had not been in -a position to describe events exactly as they happened, this book would -never have been written.</p> - -<p>It is both unjust and untrue to ascribe the Revolution as directly -consequent upon the Emperor’s weakness, or the pro-Germanism and -hysteric sensuality of the Empress. I have endeavoured to show that -Rasputin was probably one of the unconscious tools of the Revolution -against Imperialism: there is no doubt that German intrigues brought -Lenin back from Switzerland to overthrow the milder rule of Kerensky, -who was not ready to offer the country an efficient substitute for -Tsardom, but the Empress was entirely innocent of pro-Germanism. Russia -was ripe for Revolution; she had essayed Revolution years before the -Empress or Rasputin saw the light. Her political history alone proves my -statement, but War hurried the feet of Revolution toward her -bloodstained goal. Other European kingdoms have tottered or fallen, but -Russia is a land of extremes: hence the extreme<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_250" id="page_250">{250}</a></span> methods of her ideas of -equality, which are, in many respects, similar to those of the French -Revolution.</p> - -<p>I am well aware that certain “official” documents relative to the -Empress were sent to England, and I know the shameful assertions which -they contained. These documents emanated from the Duma, and were -“arranged” by the Duma, in order to justify many things which would -otherwise have been unjustifiable.</p> - -<p>I have not attempted to give to the world any elaborate descriptions of -Court festivities, and those happenings which are the common property of -all European journalists. Mine is a very simple résumé of the daily life -and personality of the Empress as I knew her. I have endeavoured to -avoid anything in the nature of exaggeration, in the hope that the -public, who have innocently lent a ready ear to those things which are -untrue, and which have been exploited by people who never saw or spoke -to the Empress, will give equal consideration to the testimony of one -who both knew and loved The Real Tsaritsa.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_251" id="page_251">{251}</a></span></p> - -<h3><a name="INDEX" id="INDEX"></a>INDEX</h3> - -<p class="c"><a href="#A">A</a>, -<a href="#B">B</a>, -<a href="#C">C</a>, -<a href="#D">D</a>, -<a href="#E">E</a>, -<a href="#F">F</a>, -<a href="#G">G</a>, -<a href="#H">H</a>, -<a href="#K">K</a>, -<a href="#L">L</a>, -<a href="#M">M</a>, -<a href="#N">N</a>, -<a href="#O">O</a>, -<a href="#P">P</a>, -<a href="#R">R</a>, -<a href="#S">S</a>, -<a href="#T">T</a>, -<a href="#V">V</a>, -<a href="#W">W</a>, -<a href="#Y">Y</a>.</p> - -<p class="nind"> -<br /> -<a name="A" id="A"></a>Alexander II, <a href="#page_21">21</a><br /> - -Alexandra, Queen, <a href="#page_199">199</a><br /> - -Alexandra, Tsaritsa, <i>passim</i><br /> - -Anastasie, Grand Duchess, <a href="#page_78">78</a>, <a href="#page_159">159</a>, <i>passim</i><br /> - -Appraxin, Count, <a href="#page_161">161</a><br /> - -<br /> -<a name="B" id="B"></a>Bariatinsky, Princess, <a href="#page_61">61</a><br /> - -Beletsky, General, <a href="#page_106">106-7</a><br /> - -Benckendorff, Count, <a href="#page_152">152-3</a>, <a href="#page_157">157</a>, <a href="#page_167">167</a>, <a href="#page_181">181</a>, <a href="#page_201">201</a>, <a href="#page_212">212</a><br /> - -Botkin, Dr., <a href="#page_72">72</a>, <a href="#page_159">159</a>, <a href="#page_240">240</a><br /> - -Büxhoevgen, Baroness, <a href="#page_154">154</a><br /> - -<br /> -<a name="C" id="C"></a>Clementine of Coburg, <a href="#page_129">129</a><br /> - -Cyril, Grand Duke, <a href="#page_162">162</a><br /> - -<br /> -<a name="D" id="D"></a>Dehn, Charles, <a href="#page_37">37</a>, <a href="#page_41">41</a>, <a href="#page_53">53</a>, <a href="#page_138">138</a><br /> - -Dehn, Madame, <i>passim</i><br /> - -Direvenko, Dr., <a href="#page_159">159</a><br /> - -Dolgorouky, Princess, <a href="#page_21">21</a><br /> - -Dolgouroki, Prince, <a href="#page_137">137</a><br /> - -Duma, <a href="#page_36">36</a>, <a href="#page_250">250</a><br /> - -<br /> -<a name="E" id="E"></a>Elidor, <a href="#page_95">95</a><br /> - -<br /> -<a name="F" id="F"></a>Fedoroff, Dr., <a href="#page_195">195</a><br /> - -Ferdinand of Bulgaria, <a href="#page_129">129</a><br /> - -French Revolution, <a href="#page_249">249</a><br /> - -<br /> -<a name="G" id="G"></a>Gendrinkoff, Countess, <a href="#page_168">168</a><br /> - -George V, <a href="#page_199">199</a><br /> - -Germogen, <a href="#page_95">95</a><br /> - -Gibbs, Mr., <a href="#page_83">83</a>, <a href="#page_175">175</a><br /> - -Gilliard, M., <a href="#page_83">83</a>, <a href="#page_175">175</a><br /> - -Golitzin, Princess, <a href="#page_38">38-9</a><br /> - -Golovina, Mary, <a href="#page_117">117</a><br /> - -Gourko, General, <a href="#page_139">139</a><br /> - -Goutchkoff, M., <a href="#page_178">178-80</a>, <a href="#page_194">194-5</a><br /> - -Grand Duchesses, <a href="#page_75">75-84</a>, <a href="#page_134">134</a>, <i>et passim</i><br /> - -Greek Church, <a href="#page_128">128</a><br /> - -Grotten, Colonel, <a href="#page_137">137</a>, <a href="#page_140">140</a>, <a href="#page_149">149</a>, <a href="#page_153">153</a><br /> - -<br /> -“<a name="H" id="H"></a>Hampshire”, <a href="#page_57">57</a>, <a href="#page_143">143</a><br /> - -Hitrowo, Rita, <a href="#page_163">163</a><br /> - -Horvat, <a href="#page_15">15</a>, <a href="#page_32">32</a><br /> - -Hvostchinsky, Captain, <a href="#page_148">148</a><br /> - -<br /> -<a name="K" id="K"></a>Kapnist, Count, <a href="#page_136">136</a><br /> - -<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_252" id="page_252">{252}</a></span>Keller, Count, <a href="#page_194">194</a><br /> - -Kerensky, <a href="#page_51">51</a>, <a href="#page_208">208-13</a>, <a href="#page_216">216-9</a>, <a href="#page_224">224-9</a>, <a href="#page_249">249</a><br /> - -Kitchener, Lord, <a href="#page_57">57</a><br /> - -Kobilinsky, Commandant, <a href="#page_233">233-8</a>, <a href="#page_240">240</a><br /> - -Korniloff, General, <a href="#page_181">181-2</a><br /> - -Korovichenko, Colonel, <a href="#page_211">211</a><br /> - -Kotzebue, Colonel, <a href="#page_191">191</a>, <a href="#page_201">201-2</a>, <a href="#page_205">205</a><br /> - -Kotzebue-Pilar, Countess, <a href="#page_139">139</a><br /> - -Koutousoff, Prince, <a href="#page_16">16</a><br /> - -Kouzmine, Lieutenant, <a href="#page_162">162</a><br /> - -<br /> -<a name="L" id="L"></a>Labour Party, <a href="#page_198">198</a><br /> - -Laptinsky, Akilina, <a href="#page_113">113-6</a>, <a href="#page_121">121-2</a><br /> - -Lenin, <a href="#page_18">18</a>, <a href="#page_249">249</a><br /> - -Linavitch, <a href="#page_136">136</a>, <a href="#page_151">151</a><br /> - -Litovsky Regiment, <a href="#page_149">149</a><br /> - -Lvoff, Prince, <a href="#page_227">227</a><br /> - -<br /> -<a name="M" id="M"></a>Marie, Grand Duchess, <a href="#page_77">77</a>, <a href="#page_166">166</a>, <i>passim</i><br /> - -Markoff, Lieutenant, <a href="#page_169">169-70</a><br /> - -Mary, Queen, <a href="#page_68">68</a><br /> - -Miasocdoff-Ivanof, <a href="#page_162">162</a><br /> - -<br /> -<a name="N" id="N"></a>Nicholas, Grand Duke, <a href="#page_22">22</a>, <a href="#page_132">132-3</a><br /> - -Nicholas, Tsar, <a href="#page_51">51</a>, <a href="#page_85">85-91</a>, <a href="#page_188">188-91</a>, <i>passim</i>;<br /> -<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">abdication, <a href="#page_165">165</a>, <a href="#page_194">194</a></span><br /> - -<br /> -<a name="O" id="O"></a>Olga, Grand Duchess, <a href="#page_75">75</a>, <i>passim</i><br /> - -Orbelliany, Princess, <a href="#page_173">173-4</a><br /> - -Orchard, Miss, <a href="#page_212">212</a><br /> - -Orianda, <a href="#page_34">34-5</a><br /> - -Orloff, General, <a href="#page_47">47-8</a><br /> - -Orloff, Prince and Princess, <a href="#page_107">107</a><br /> - -<br /> -<a name="P" id="P"></a>Paul, Grand Duke, <a href="#page_151">151</a>, <a href="#page_154">154</a>, <a href="#page_157">157</a>, <a href="#page_164">164</a>, <a href="#page_179">179</a><br /> - -Pistolkors, Allie, <a href="#page_149">149-50</a><br /> - -Poole, General, <a href="#page_237">237</a><br /> - -Protopopoff, <a href="#page_116">116</a>, <a href="#page_120">120-1</a>, <a href="#page_135">135</a>, <a href="#page_140">140-2</a><br /> - -<br /> -<a name="R" id="R"></a>Rabindar, <a href="#page_136">136</a><br /> - -Rasputin, <a href="#page_77">77</a>, <a href="#page_93">93-143</a><br /> - -Raswosoff, Admiral, <a href="#page_239">239</a><br /> - -Ratief, Prince, <a href="#page_171">171</a><br /> - -Resin, General, <a href="#page_149">149</a>, <a href="#page_163">163</a>, <a href="#page_164">164</a><br /> - -Retief, Prince, <a href="#page_178">178</a><br /> - -Revolutionary Agents, <a href="#page_34">34</a><br /> - -Ripe, Miss, <a href="#page_32">32</a><br /> - -Rodziansko, <a href="#page_168">168-9</a>, <a href="#page_195">195-6</a><br /> - -Rousky, General, <a href="#page_194">194-6</a><br /> - -Russian peasant, <a href="#page_23">23-31</a><br /> - -Russian Revolution, <a href="#page_147">147-250</a><br /> - -<br /> -<a name="S" id="S"></a>Sablin, M., <a href="#page_147">147</a>, <a href="#page_155">155</a><br /> - -<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_253" id="page_253">{253}</a></span>Shoulgine, <a href="#page_194">194-5</a><br /> - -Shrinsky-Shihmatoff, Prince, <a href="#page_237">237</a><br /> - -Soukhomlinoff, General, <a href="#page_132">132-3</a><br /> - -Stackelberg, Baron, <a href="#page_195">195-6</a><br /> - -Stopford, A., <a href="#page_197">197</a><br /> - -Swastika, <a href="#page_63">63</a><br /> - -<br /> -<a name="T" id="T"></a>Tanieff, Madame, <a href="#page_148">148-9</a><br /> - -Tatiana, Grand Duchess, <a href="#page_76">76</a>, <i>passim</i><br /> - -Tsarevitch, <a href="#page_81">81-4</a>, <a href="#page_99">99</a>, <a href="#page_183">183</a>, <i>passim</i><br /> - -Tutcheff, Mlle, <a href="#page_77">77</a><br /> - -<br /> -<a name="V" id="V"></a>Varnava, <a href="#page_110">110</a><br /> - -Vasiltchikoff, Princess, <a href="#page_135">135-6</a><br /> - -Victoria, Queen, <a href="#page_59">59-60</a><br /> - -Virouboff, Anna, <a href="#page_38">38</a>, <a href="#page_47">47</a>, <a href="#page_97">97-8</a>, <a href="#page_112">112</a>, <a href="#page_114">114-21</a>, <a href="#page_126">126</a>, <a href="#page_129">129</a>, <a href="#page_137">137</a>, <a href="#page_149">149</a>, <a href="#page_172">172-3</a>, <a href="#page_209">209-19</a>, <a href="#page_221">221-2</a><br /> - -Volinsky Regiment, <a href="#page_149">149</a><br /> - -Volkoff, <a href="#page_166">166</a>, <a href="#page_174">174</a>, <a href="#page_178">178-9</a>, <a href="#page_188">188</a><br /> - -<br /> -<a name="W" id="W"></a>William, Kaiser, <a href="#page_90">90</a><br /> - -<br /> -<a name="Y" id="Y"></a>Yousopoff, Prince, <a href="#page_117">117</a>, <a href="#page_125">125</a><br /> -</p> - -<p class="fint">PRINTED BY BURLEIGH LTD., AT THE BURLEIGH PRESS BRISTOL ENGLAND</p> - -<div class="footnotes"><p class="cb">FOOTNOTES:</p> - -<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> The apartments at Tsarkoe Selo reserved for guests and the -suite were situated over the third and fourth entrances to the Palace. -The red drawing-room was in the private apartments.—L. D.</p></div> - -<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_2" id="Footnote_2_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_2"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> M. Rodziansko, the President of the Duma, was an aristocrat -who had turned Revolutionary: he was always antagonistic to the Imperial -Family.</p></div> - -<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_3_3" id="Footnote_3_3"></a><a href="#FNanchor_3_3"><span class="label">[3]</span></a> Znaminie is a little church adjacent to the Palace.</p></div> - -<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_4_4" id="Footnote_4_4"></a><a href="#FNanchor_4_4"><span class="label">[4]</span></a> During this time the Empress and I wore nurses’ uniforms. -It has been erroneously stated that the Empress wore ordinary dress. -This is not the case.</p></div> - -<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_5_5" id="Footnote_5_5"></a><a href="#FNanchor_5_5"><span class="label">[5]</span></a> From the time that the Emperor left for the Front, one of -the Grand Duchesses always slept with the Empress.</p></div> - -<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_6_6" id="Footnote_6_6"></a><a href="#FNanchor_6_6"><span class="label">[6]</span></a> The remaining members of the suite occupied apartments in -the fourth wing of the Palace. The Empress, who was afraid of infection -for others, only saw them occasionally. I was quite alone with her and -the children.</p></div> - -<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_7_7" id="Footnote_7_7"></a><a href="#FNanchor_7_7"><span class="label">[7]</span></a> In all my descriptions of the conversations between the -Emperor, the Empress and myself, I have endeavoured to describe what -took place, almost word for word. I have not attempted to elaborate any -of the statements, and my record may therefore be considered -accurate.—L. D.</p></div> - -<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_8_8" id="Footnote_8_8"></a><a href="#FNanchor_8_8"><span class="label">[8]</span></a> The sleeping apartments of the Emperor and the Empress were -situated on the ground floor of the Palace.—L. D.</p></div> - -<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_9_9" id="Footnote_9_9"></a><a href="#FNanchor_9_9"><span class="label">[9]</span></a> These faithful adherents were arrested at the next station -and sent to Petrograd, where they were incarcerated in the Fortress of -Peter and Paul.—L. D.</p></div> - -<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_10_10" id="Footnote_10_10"></a><a href="#FNanchor_10_10"><span class="label">[10]</span></a> Count Keller was killed at Kieff later.</p></div> - -<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_11_11" id="Footnote_11_11"></a><a href="#FNanchor_11_11"><span class="label">[11]</span></a> If Mr. A. Stopford (1a St. James’s Square) ever reads -these lines, he may be glad to know that the Empress greatly appreciated -his kindness.—L. D.</p></div> - -<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_12_12" id="Footnote_12_12"></a><a href="#FNanchor_12_12"><span class="label">[12]</span></a> The <i>skorohod</i> were the confidential messengers of the -Imperial Family. They wore a distinctive livery, and wonderful hats -adorned with black and yellow ostrich feathers.</p></div> - -<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_13_13" id="Footnote_13_13"></a><a href="#FNanchor_13_13"><span class="label">[13]</span></a> The actual note to reproduced in these pages. Translation: -“Kerensky is passing through all our rooms—Do not be afraid—God is -present. I kiss you both.”</p></div> - -<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_14_14" id="Footnote_14_14"></a><a href="#FNanchor_14_14"><span class="label">[14]</span></a> Orchie was a pet name for Miss Orchard, the Empress’s old -governess, who had died at the Palace. Her room had been left -undisturbed since her death.</p></div> - -<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_15_15" id="Footnote_15_15"></a><a href="#FNanchor_15_15"><span class="label">[15]</span></a> General Knox was discussing certain matters with Kerensky -at the moment when this shooting occurred, and he asked Kerensky what -the shots signified. “Oh, it’s only two friends of the Imperial Family -who have just been brought here,” answered Kerensky. I met General Knox -after my escape to England, and when he related the incident I informed -him that I was one of the “two friends.”—L. D.</p></div> - -<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_16_16" id="Footnote_16_16"></a><a href="#FNanchor_16_16"><span class="label">[16]</span></a> I heard later that it was reported that my husband had -been killed and his body thrown overboard.</p></div> - -<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_17_17" id="Footnote_17_17"></a><a href="#FNanchor_17_17"><span class="label">[17]</span></a> Baroness Büxhoevgen Lady-in-waiting to the Empress.</p></div> - -</div> -<hr class="full" /> - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Real Tsaritza, by Lili Dehn - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE REAL TSARITZA *** - -***** This file should be named 60432-h.htm or 60432-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/4/3/60432/ - -Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was -produced from images available at The Internet Archive) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, -set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to -copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to -protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project -Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you -charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you -do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the -rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose -such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and -research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do -practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is -subject to the trademark license, especially commercial -redistribution. - - - -*** START: FULL LICENSE *** - -THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE -PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK - -To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free -distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work -(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project -Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at -http://gutenberg.org/license). - - -Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works - -1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to -and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property -(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all -the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy -all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. -If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the -terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or -entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. - -1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be -used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who -agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few -things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See -paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement -and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works. See paragraph 1.E below. - -1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" -or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the -collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an -individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are -located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from -copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative -works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg -are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project -Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by -freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of -this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with -the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by -keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project -Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. - -1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern -what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in -a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check -the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement -before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or -creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project -Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning -the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United -States. - -1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: - -1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate -access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently -whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the -phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project -Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, -copied or distributed: - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - -1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived -from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is -posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied -and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees -or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work -with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the -work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 -through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the -Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or -1.E.9. - -1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted -with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution -must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional -terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked -to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the -permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. - -1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this -work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. - -1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this -electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without -prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with -active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project -Gutenberg-tm License. - -1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, -compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any -word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or -distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than -"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version -posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), -you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a -copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon -request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other -form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. - -1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, -performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works -unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing -access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided -that - -- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from - the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method - you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is - owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he - has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the - Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments - must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you - prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax - returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and - sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the - address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to - the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." - -- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies - you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he - does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm - License. You must require such a user to return or - destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium - and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of - Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any - money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the - electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days - of receipt of the work. - -- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free - distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set -forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from -both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael -Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the -Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. - -1.F. - -1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable -effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread -public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm -collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain -"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or -corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual -property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a -computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by -your equipment. - -1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right -of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project -Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all -liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal -fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT -LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE -PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE -TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE -LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR -INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH -DAMAGE. - -1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a -defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can -receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a -written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you -received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with -your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with -the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a -refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity -providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to -receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy -is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further -opportunities to fix the problem. - -1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth -in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER -WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO -WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. - -1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied -warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. -If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the -law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be -interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by -the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any -provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. - -1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the -trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone -providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance -with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, -promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, -harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, -that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do -or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm -work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any -Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. - - -Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm - -Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of -electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers -including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists -because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from -people in all walks of life. - -Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the -assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's -goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will -remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure -and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. -To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation -and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 -and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. - - -Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive -Foundation - -The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit -501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the -state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal -Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification -number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at -http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent -permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. - -The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. -Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered -throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at -809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email -business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact -information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official -page at http://pglaf.org - -For additional contact information: - Dr. Gregory B. Newby - Chief Executive and Director - gbnewby@pglaf.org - - -Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation - -Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide -spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of -increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be -freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest -array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations -($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt -status with the IRS. - -The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating -charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United -States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a -considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up -with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations -where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To -SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any -particular state visit http://pglaf.org - -While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we -have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition -against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who -approach us with offers to donate. - -International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make -any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from -outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. - -Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation -methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other -ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. -To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate - - -Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works. - -Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm -concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared -with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project -Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. - - -Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed -editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. -unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily -keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. - - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: - - http://www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. - - -</pre> - -</body> -</html> diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/colophon.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/colophon.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 0299a93..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/colophon.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/cover.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/cover.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index e10a4f9..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/cover.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_001.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_001.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 0fa5866..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_001.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_001_lg.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_001_lg.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 4660619..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_001_lg.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_002.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_002.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 24f65bf..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_002.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_002_lg.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_002_lg.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 14f0cc7..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_002_lg.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_003-a.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_003-a.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index cd48e80..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_003-a.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_003-a_lg.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_003-a_lg.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 0eca863..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_003-a_lg.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_003-b.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_003-b.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 67bebc2..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_003-b.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_003-b_lg.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_003-b_lg.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index f70df36..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_003-b_lg.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_004-a.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_004-a.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 7b50244..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_004-a.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_004-a_lg.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_004-a_lg.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index a027ca1..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_004-a_lg.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_004-b.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_004-b.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index cd94b6e..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_004-b.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_004-b_lg.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_004-b_lg.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index ae7d4ca..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_004-b_lg.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_005.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_005.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index f91c513..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_005.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_005_lg.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_005_lg.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 1f52b16..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_005_lg.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_006-a.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_006-a.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 87ba89b..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_006-a.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_006-a_lg.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_006-a_lg.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index ad6879d..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_006-a_lg.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_006-b.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_006-b.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 87be3d0..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_006-b.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_006-b_lg.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_006-b_lg.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 21189ff..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_006-b_lg.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_007-a.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_007-a.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 034ccf1..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_007-a.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_007-a_lg.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_007-a_lg.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 8d4b8fc..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_007-a_lg.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_007-b.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_007-b.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 643a09a..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_007-b.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_007-b_lg.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_007-b_lg.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 00adb93..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_007-b_lg.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_007-c.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_007-c.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 037f171..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_007-c.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_007-c_lg.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_007-c_lg.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 8511e5a..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_007-c_lg.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_008.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_008.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 3e35b27..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_008.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_008_lg.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_008_lg.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 06b577f..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_008_lg.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_009.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_009.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index d4747c1..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_009.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_009_lg.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_009_lg.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index c53033b..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_009_lg.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_010.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_010.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 5123cbb..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_010.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_010_lg.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_010_lg.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index b1ebd31..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_010_lg.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_011.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_011.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index c6536bb..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_011.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_011_lg.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_011_lg.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 4793e45..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_011_lg.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_012.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_012.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index c54a759..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_012.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_012_lg.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_012_lg.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index c51cb43..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_012_lg.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_013.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_013.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 8849abe..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_013.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_013_lg.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_013_lg.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 87cf2d3..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_013_lg.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_014.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_014.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index d591377..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_014.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_014_lg.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_014_lg.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index f09fd63..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_014_lg.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_015-a.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_015-a.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index cf9a677..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_015-a.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_015-b.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_015-b.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index c21b4bb..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_015-b.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_015-c.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_015-c.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 60b20a0..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_015-c.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_016-a.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_016-a.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index db8bff4..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_016-a.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_016-b.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_016-b.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 3c27072..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_016-b.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_016-c.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_016-c.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 252e9dc..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_016-c.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60432-h/images/ill_017.jpg b/old/60432-h/images/ill_017.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 3f88537..0000000 --- a/old/60432-h/images/ill_017.jpg +++ /dev/null |
