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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..18974b6 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #60507 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/60507) diff --git a/old/60507-h.zip b/old/60507-h.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 3d9b269..0000000 --- a/old/60507-h.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60507-h/60507-h.htm b/old/60507-h/60507-h.htm deleted file mode 100644 index fa0c960..0000000 --- a/old/60507-h/60507-h.htm +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1089 +0,0 @@ -<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" - "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> -<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> - <head> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=us-ascii" /> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> - <title> - The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Super Opener, by Michael Zuroy. - </title> - <link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg" /> - - <style type="text/css"> - -body { - margin-left: 10%; - margin-right: 10%; -} - - h1,h2 { - text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ - clear: both; -} - -p { - margin-top: .51em; - text-align: justify; - margin-bottom: .49em; -} - -hr { - width: 33%; - margin-top: 2em; - margin-bottom: 2em; - margin-left: 33.5%; - margin-right: 33.5%; - clear: both; -} - -hr.chap {width: 65%; margin-left: 17.5%; margin-right: 17.5%;} -hr.tb {width: 45%; margin-left: 27.5%; margin-right: 27.5%;} - -.center {text-align: center;} - -.right {text-align: right;} - -.caption {font-weight: bold;} - -/* Images */ -.figcenter { - margin: auto; - text-align: center; -} - -div.titlepage { - text-align: center; - page-break-before: always; - page-break-after: always; -} - -div.titlepage p { - text-align: center; - text-indent: 0em; - font-weight: bold; - line-height: 1.5; - margin-top: 3em; -} - -.ph1 { text-align: center; text-indent: 0em; font-weight: bold; } -.ph1 { font-size: large; margin: .83em auto; } - - - </style> - </head> -<body> - - -<pre> - -The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Super Opener, by Michael Zuroy - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: The Super Opener - -Author: Michael Zuroy - -Release Date: October 16, 2019 [EBook #60507] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SUPER OPENER *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="350" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<h1>THE SUPER OPENER</h1> - -<h2>BY MICHAEL ZUROY</h2> - -<p class="ph1"><i>Here's why you should ask for<br /> -a "Feetch M-D" next time<br /> -you get a can opener!</i></p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Worlds of If Science Fiction, August 1958.<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>"Feetch!" grated Ogden Piltdon, president of the Piltdon Opener -Company, slamming the drafting board with his hairy fist, "I want -results!"</p> - -<p>Heads lifted over boards. Kalvin Feetch shrunk visibly.</p> - -<p>"As chief engineer you're not carrying the ball," Piltdon went on -savagely. "The Piltdon Can-Opener is trailing the competition. -Advertising and Sales are breaking their necks. It's Engineering -that's missing the boat!"</p> - -<p>"But Mr. Piltdon," remonstrated Feetch unsteadily under his employer's -glare, "don't you remember? I tried to...."</p> - -<p>"For two years there hasn't been one lousy improvement in the Piltdon -Can-Opener!" roared Mr. Piltdon. "Look at our competitors. The -International rips apart cans in three and three-tenths seconds. -Universal does it in four."</p> - -<p>"But Mr. Piltdon—"</p> - -<p>"The Minerva Mighty Midget does it in four point two two and plays Home -Sweet Home in chimes. Our own Piltdon opener barely manages to open a -can in eight point nine without chimes. Is this what I'm paying you -for?"</p> - -<p>Feetch adjusted his spectacles with shaking hands. "But Mr. Piltdon, -our opener still has stability, solidity. It is built to last. It has -dignity...."</p> - -<p>"Dignity," pronounced Piltdon, "is for museums. Four months, Feetch! -In four months I want a new can-opener that will be faster, lighter, -stronger, flashier and more musical than any other on the market. I -want it completely developed, engineered and tooled-up, ready for -production. Otherwise, Feetch—"</p> - -<p>Feetch's body twitched. "But Mr. Piltdon, four months is hardly time -enough for development, even with an adequate staff. I've been trying -to tell you for years that we're bound to fall behind because we don't -have enough personnel to conduct research. Our men can barely keep -up with production and maintenance. If you would let me put on a few -draftsmen and...."</p> - -<p>"Excuses," sneered Mr. Piltdon. "Your staff is more than adequate. -I will not allow you to throw out my money. Four months, Feetch, -no more!" Piltdon trudged out of the room, leaving behind him an -oppressive silence.</p> - -<p>How could you set a time limit on research and development? A designer -had to dream at his board, investigate, search, build, test, compare, -discard. He had always wanted to devote all his time to research, but -Piltdon Opener had not given him that opportunity. Twenty-five years! -thought Feetch. Twenty-five years of close supervision, dead-lines, -production headaches, inadequate facilities and assistance. What had -happened, to the proud dream he once had, the dream of exploring -uncharted engineering regions, of unlimited time to investigate and -develop?</p> - -<p>Ah, well, thought Feetch straightening his thin shoulders, he had -managed somehow to design a few good things during his twenty-five -years with Piltdon. That was some satisfaction.</p> - -<p>What now? He had to hang on to his job. Technical work was scarce. -Since the early 1980's the schools had been turning out more -technicians than industry could absorb. He was too old to compete in -the employment market. He couldn't afford to lose any money. Jenny -wasn't well.</p> - -<p>How to meet this four month dead-line? He would get right on it -himself, of course; Hanson—good man—could work with him. He shook his -head despairingly. Something would be sure to blow up. Well, he had to -start—</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"Chief," said Hanson a few weeks later as they entered the lab, "I'm -beginning to wonder if the answer is in the hand mechanical type at -all."</p> - -<p>"Got to be," answered Feetch tiredly. "We must work along classical -can-opener lines. Departures, such as the thermal or motor-driven -types, would be too expensive for mass production."</p> - -<p>Three new models and a group of cans were waiting for them on the -bench. They began testing, Hanson operating the openers and Feetch -clocking. "Four point four," announced Feetch after the last test. -"Good, but not good enough. Too bulky. Appearance unsatisfactory. -Chimes tinny. We've made progress, but we've a long way to go."</p> - -<p>The problem was tricky. It might seem that use of the proper gear -ratios would give the required velocity, but there were too many -other factors that negated this direct approach. The mechanism had to -be compact and streamlined. Gear sizes had to be kept down. Can-top -resistance, internal resistance, cutting tooth performance, handle -size and moment, the minimum strength of a woman's hand were some of -the variables that had to be balanced within rigid limits. Sector -type cutters, traversing several arcs at the same time, had seemed to -offer the answer for a while, but the adjusting mechanism necessary to -compensate for variable can sizes had been too complex to be practical. -There was the ever-present limit to production cost.</p> - -<p>Hanson's eyes were upon him. "Chief," he said, "it's a rotten shame. -Twenty-five years of your life you put in with Piltdon, and he'd fire -you just like that if you don't do the impossible. The Piltdon Company -is built upon your designs and you get handed this deal!"</p> - -<p>"Well, well," said Feetch. "I drew my pay every week so I suppose I -have no complaints. Although," a wistful note crept into his voice "I -would have liked a little recognition. Piltdon is a household word, -but who has heard of Feetch? Well,"—Feetch blew his nose—"how do we -stand, Hanson?"</p> - -<p>Hanson's bull-dog features drew into a scowl. "Piltdon ought to -be rayed," he growled. "O.K., Chief. Eleven experimental models -designed to date. Two more on the boards. Nine completed and tested, -two in work. Best performance, four point four, but model otherwise -unsatisfactory."</p> - -<p>"Hello," said Feetch as an aproned machinist entered carrying a -glistening mechanism. "Here's another model. Let's try it." The -machinist departed and Hanson locked the opener on a can. "I hope——" -he turned the handle, and stopped abruptly, staring down open-mouthed.</p> - -<p>A cylinder of close-packed beans rested on the bench under the opener.</p> - -<p>The can itself had disappeared.</p> - -<p>"Chief," said Hanson. "Chief."</p> - -<p>"Yes," said Feetch. "I see it too. Try another can."</p> - -<p>"Vegetable soup or spinach?" inquired Hanson dreamily.</p> - -<p>"Spinach, I think," said Feetch. "Where did the can go, do you suppose?"</p> - -<p>The spinach can disappeared. Likewise several corn cans, sweet potato -cans and corned-beef hash cans, leaving their contents intact. It was -rather disconcerting.</p> - -<p>"Dear, dear," said Feetch, regarding the piles of food on the bench. -"There must be some explanation. I designed this opener with sixteen -degree, twenty-two minute pressure angle modified involute gear -teeth, seven degree, nineteen minute front clearance cutter angle and -thirty-six degree, twelve minute back rake angle. I expected that such -departures from the norm might achieve unconventional performance, but -this—Dear, dear. Where do the cans go, I wonder?"</p> - -<p>"What's the difference? Don't you see what you've got here? It's the -answer! It's more than the answer! We can put this right into work and -beat the dead-line."</p> - -<p>Feetch shook his head. "No, Hanson. We're producing something we don't -understand. What forces have we uncovered here? Where do the cans go? -What makes them disappear? Are we dealing with a kinetic or a kinematic -effect? What motions can we plot in the area of disappearance and what -are their analytical mathematical formulae? What masses may be critical -here? What transformations of energy are involved? No, Hanson, we must -learn a lot more."</p> - -<p>"But Chief, your job."</p> - -<p>"I'll risk that. Not a word to Piltdon."</p> - -<p>Several days later, however, Piltdon himself charged into the drawing -room and slapped Feetch heartily on the back, causing him to break a -pencil point. "Feetch!" roared Piltdon. "Is this talk that's going -around the plant true? Why didn't you tell me? Let's see it."</p> - -<p>After Piltdon had seen it his eyes took on a feverish glint. "This," -he exulted, "will make can-opener history. Instantaneous opening! -Automatic disposal! Wait until Advertising and Sales get hold of this! -We'll throttle our competitors! The Piltdon Super-Opener we'll call it."</p> - -<p>"Mr. Piltdon—" said Feetch shakily.</p> - -<p>Piltdon stared at his chief engineer sharply. "What's the matter, -Feetch? The thing can be duplicated, can't it?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, sir. I've just finished checking that. But I'm in the midst of -further investigation of the effect. There's more here than just a new -type can-opener, sir. A whole new field of physics. New principles. -This is big, Mr. Piltdon. I recommend that we delay production until -further research can be completed. Hire a few top scientists and -engineers. Find out where the cans go. Put out a scientific paper on -the effect."</p> - -<p>"Feetch," bit out Piltdon, his face growing hard. "Stow this hooey. I -don't give a damn where the cans go. May I remind you that under our -standard patent agreement, all rights to your invention belong to the -company? As well as anything you may produce in the field within a year -after leaving our employ? We have a good thing here, and I don't want -you holding it back. We're going into production immediately."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Close, thought Feetch, wearily. It had been a man-killing job, and it -had been close, but he'd made it. Beat the time limit by a half-day. -The first tentative shipments of Piltdon Super-Openers had gone to -distributors along the Eastern seaboard. The first advertisements -blazed in selected media. The first reorders came back, and then: "It's -a sell-out!" crowed Piltdon, waving a sheaf of telegrams. "Step up -production! Let 'er rip!"</p> - -<p>The Super-Openers rolled over the country. In a remarkably short time -they appeared in millions of kitchens from coast-to-coast. Sales -climbed to hundreds of thousands per day. Piltdon Opener went into -peak production in three shifts, but was still unable to keep up with -the demand. Construction was begun on a new plant, and additional -plants were planned. Long lines waited in front of houseware stores. -Department stores, lucky enough to have Super-Openers on hand, limited -sales to one to a customer. Piltdon cancelled his advertising program. -Newspapers, magazines, radio, television and word-of-mouth spread the -fame of the opener so that advertising was unnecessary.</p> - -<p>Meanwhile, of course, government scientists, research foundations, -universities and independent investigators began to look into this new -phenomonen. Receiving no satisfactory explanation from Piltdon, they -set up their own research.</p> - -<p>Far into the night burned the lights of countless laboratories. Noted -physicists probed, measured, weighed, traced, X-rayed, dissolved, -spun, peered at, photographed, magnetized, exploded, shattered and -analyzed Super-Openers without achieving the glimmer of a satisfactory -explanation. Competitors found the patent impossible to circumvent, for -any departure from its exact specifications nullified the effect.</p> - -<p>Piltdon, genial these days with success and acclaim, roared at Feetch: -"I'm putting you in for a raise. Yes sir! To reward you for assisting -me with my invention I'm raising your pay two hundred dollars a year. -That's almost four dollars a week, man."</p> - -<p>"Thank you, Mr. Piltdon." And still, thought Feetch wryly, he received -no recognition. His name did not even appear on the patent. Well, -well, that was the way it went. He must find his satisfaction in his -work. And it had been interesting lately, the work he had been doing -nights at home investigating what had been named the Piltdon Effect. -It had been difficult, working alone and buying his own equipment. The -oscillator and ultra microwave tracking unit had been particularly -expensive. He was a fool, he supposed, to try independent research when -so many huge scientific organizations were working on it. But he could -no more keep away from it than he could stop eating.</p> - -<p>He still didn't know where the cans went, but somehow he felt that he -was close to the answer.</p> - -<p>When he finally found the answer, it was too late. The Borenchuck -incident was only hours away.</p> - -<p>As soon as he could get hold of Piltdon, Feetch said trembling, "Sir, I -think I know where those cans are going. I recommend—"</p> - -<p>"Are you still worrying about that?" Piltdon roared jovially. "Leave -that to the long-hairs. We're making money, that's all that counts, eh -Feetch?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>That night, at six-ten p.m., the Borenchuck family of Selby, South -Dakota, sat down to their evening meal. Just as they started in on the -soup, a rain of empty tin cans clattered down, splashed into the soup, -raised a welt on the forehead of Borenchuck senior, settled down to a -gentle, steady klunk! klunk! klunk! and inexorably began to pile up on -the dining-room floor. They seemed to materialize from a plane just -below the ceiling. The police called the fire department and the fire -department stared helplessly and recommended the sanitation department.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus.jpg" width="168" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>The incident made headlines in the local papers.</p> - -<p>The next day other local papers in widely scattered locations reported -similar incidents.</p> - -<p>The following day, cans began falling on Chicago. St. Louis was next, -and then over the entire nation the cans began to rain down. They fell -outdoors and indoors, usually materializing at heights that were not -dangerous. The deluge followed no pattern. Sometimes it would slacken, -sometimes it would stop, sometimes begin heavily again. It fell in -homes, on the streets, in theatres, trains, ships, universities and -dog-food factories. No place was immune.</p> - -<p>People took to wearing hats indoors and out, and the sale of helmets -boomed.</p> - -<p>All activity was seriously curtailed.</p> - -<p>A state of national emergency was declared.</p> - -<p>Government investigators went to work and soon confirmed what was -generally suspected: these were the same cans that had been opened by -the Piltdon Super-Opener.</p> - -<p>Statisticians and mathematicians calculated the mean rate of can -precipitation and estimated that if all the cans opened by Piltdon -openers were to come back, the deluge should be over in fifteen point -twenty-nine days.</p> - -<p>Super-Opener sales of course immediately plummeted to zero and stayed -there. Anti-Piltdon editorials appeared in the papers. Commentators -accused Piltdon of deliberately hoaxing the public for his own gain. A -Congressional investigation was demanded. Piltdon received threats of -bodily injury. Lawsuits were filed against him. He barricaded himself -in the plant, surrounded by bodyguards.</p> - -<p>Livid with fury and apprehension, he screamed at Feetch, "This is your -doing, you vandal! I'm a ruined man!" A falling can caught him neatly -on the tip of his nose.</p> - -<p>"But sir," trembled Feetch, dodging three spaghetti cans, "I tried to -warn you."</p> - -<p>"You're through, Feetch!" raved Piltdon. "Fired! Get out! But before -you go, I want you to know that I've directed the blame where it -belongs. I've just released to the press the truth about who created -the Super-Opener. Now, get out!"</p> - -<p>"Yes, sir," said Feetch paling. "Then you don't want to hear about my -discovery of a way to prevent the cans from coming back?"</p> - -<p>Klunk! A barrage of cans hit the floor, and both men took refuge under -Piltdon's huge desk. "No!" yelled Piltdon at Feetch's face which was -inches away. "No, I——What did you say?"</p> - -<p>"A small design improvement sir, and the cans would disappear forever."</p> - -<p>Klunk!</p> - -<p>"Forever, Feetch?"</p> - -<p>"Yes sir." Klunk! Klunk!</p> - -<p>"You're positive, Feetch?" Piltdon's eyes glared into Feetch's.</p> - -<p>"Sir, I never make careless claims."</p> - -<p>"That's true," said Piltdon. His eyes grew dreamy. "It can be done," -he mused. "The New Type Super-Opener. Free exchanges for the old. -Cash guarantee that empty cans will never bother you. Take a licking -at first, but then monopolize the market. All right, Feetch, I'll -give you another chance. You'll turn over all the details to me. The -patent on the improvement will naturally be mine. I'll get the credit -for rectifying your blunder. Fine, fine. We'll work it out. Hop on -production, at once, Feetch."</p> - -<p>Feetch felt himself sag inwardly. "Mr. Piltdon," he said. "I'm asking -only one favor. Let me work full time on research and development, -especially on the Piltdon effect. Hire a couple of extra men to help -with production. I assure you the company will benefit in the end."</p> - -<p>"Damn it, no!" roared Piltdon. "How many times must I tell you? You got -your job back, didn't you?"</p> - -<p>The prospect of long years of heavy production schedules, restricted -engineering and tight supervision suddenly made Kalvin Feetch feel -very tired. Research, he thought. Development. What he had always -wanted. Over the years he had waited, thinking that there would be -opportunities later. But now he was growing older, and he felt that -there might not be a later. Somehow he would manage to get along. -Perhaps someone would give him a job working in the new field he had -pioneered. With a sense of relief he realized that he had made his -decision.</p> - -<p>"Mr. Piltdon," Feetch said. "I—" klunk!—"resign."</p> - -<p>Piltdon started, extreme astonishment crossing his face.</p> - -<p>"No use," said Feetch. "Nothing you can say—" klunk! klunk! -klunk!—"will make any difference now."</p> - -<p>"But see here, the New Type Super-Opener...!"</p> - -<p>"Will remain my secret. Good day."</p> - -<p>"Feetch!" howled Piltdon. "I order you to remain!"</p> - -<p>Feetch almost submitted from force of habit. He hesitated for a moment, -then turned abruptly.</p> - -<p>"Good-day," said Feetch firmly, sprinting through the falling cans to -the door.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Money, Feetch decided after a while, was a good thing to have. His -supply was running pretty low. He was not having any luck finding -another job. Although the cans had stopped falling on the fifteenth -day, as predicted by the statisticians, industry would not soon forget -the inconvenience and losses caused by the deluge. It was not anxious -to hire the man it regarded as responsible for the whole thing. -"Feetch," the personnel man would read. "Kalvin Feetch." Then, looking -up, "Not the Kalvin Feetch who—"</p> - -<p>"Yes," Feetch would admit miserably.</p> - -<p>"I am sorry, but—"</p> - -<p>He did no better with research organizations. Typical was a letter -from the Van Terrel Foundation: "—cannot accept your application -inasmuch as we feel your premature application of your discovery to -profit-making denotes a lack of scientific responsibility and ethics -not desirable in a member of our organization—former employer states -the decision was yours entirely. Unfavorable reference—"</p> - -<p>Piltdon, Feetch thought, feeling a strange sensation deep within his -chest that he had not the experience to recognize as the beginning of a -slow anger, Piltdon was hitting low and getting away with it.</p> - -<p>Of course, if he were to agree to reveal his latest discoveries to a -research organization, he would undoubtedly get an appointment. But how -could he? Everything patentable in his work would automatically revert -to Piltdon under the one year clause in the company patent agreement. -No, Feetch told himself, he was revealing nothing that Piltdon might -grab. The anger began to mount.</p> - -<p>But he was beginning to need money desperately. Jenny wasn't getting -any better and medical bills were running high.</p> - -<p>The phone rang. Feetch seized it and said to the image: "Absolutely -not."</p> - -<p>"I'll go up another ten dollars," grated the little Piltdon image. -"Do you realize, man, this is the fourteenth raise I've offered you? -A total increase of one hundred and twenty-six dollars? Be sensible, -Feetch. I know you can't find work anywhere else."</p> - -<p>"Thanks to you. Mr. Piltdon, I wouldn't work for you if—"</p> - -<p>A barrage of rocks crashed against the heavy steel screening of the -window. "What's going on!" yelled Piltdon. "Oh, I see. People throwing -rocks at your house again? Oh, I know all about that, Feetch. I know -that you're probably the most unpopular man alive to-day. I know about -the rocks, the tomatoes, the rotten eggs, the sneaking out at night, -the disguises you've had to use. Why don't you come back to us and -change all that, Feetch? We'll put out the New Type Super-Opener and -the world will soon forget about the old one."</p> - -<p>"No," said Feetch. "People will forget anyway—I hope."</p> - -<p>"If you won't think of yourself, at least think of your fellow -workmen," begged Piltdon, his voice going blurry. "Do you realize that -Piltdon Opener will soon be forced to close down, throwing all your -former associates out of work? Think of Hanson, Sanchez, Forbes. They -have families too. Think of the men in the shop, the girls in the -office, the salesmen on the road. All, all unemployed because of you. -Think of that, Feetch."</p> - -<p>Feetch blinked. This had not occurred to him.</p> - -<p>Piltdon eyed him sharply, then smiled with a hint of triumph. "Think it -over, Feetch."</p> - -<p>Feetch sat, thinking it over. Was it right to let all these people lose -their jobs? Frowning, he dialed Hanson's number.</p> - -<p>"Chief," said Hanson, "Forget it. The boys are behind you one hundred -per cent. We'll make out."</p> - -<p>"But that's the trouble. I thought you'd feel like this, and I can't -let you."</p> - -<p>"You're beginning to weaken. Don't. Think, chief, think. The brain that -figured the Super-Opener can solve this."</p> - -<p>Feetch hung up. A glow of anger that had been building up in his chest -grew warmer. He began pacing the floor. How he hated to do it. Think, -Hanson had said. But he had. He's considered every angle, and there was -no solution.</p> - -<p>Feetch walked into the kitchen and carefully poured himself a drink of -water. He drank the water slowly and placed the glass on the washstand -with a tiny click. It was the tiny click that did it. Something about -it touched off the growing rage. If Piltdon were there he would have -punched him in the nose. The twenty-five years. The tricks. The threats.</p> - -<p>Think? He'd figured the solution long ago, only he hadn't allowed -himself to see it. Not lack of brains, lack of guts. Well, he thought -grimly, dialing Piltdon's number, he was going through with it now. -"Piltdon!" he barked. "Three p.m. tomorrow. My place. Be here. That's -all." He hung up.</p> - -<p>In the same grim mood the following morning, he placed a few more calls.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>In the same mood that afternoon he stood in the middle of his -living-room and looked at his visitors: Piltdon, Williams, the -Government man; Billings from the Van Terrel Foundation; Steiner of -Westchester University; the members of the press.</p> - -<p>"Gentlemen," he said. "I'll make it brief." He waved the papers in his -hand. "Here is everything I know about what I call the Feetch Effect, -including plans and specifications for the New Type Super-Opener. -All of you have special reasons for being keenly interested in this -information. I am now going to give a copy to each of you, providing -one condition is met by Mr. Piltdon." He stared at Piltdon. "In short, -I want fifty-one per cent of the stock of Piltdon Opener."</p> - -<p>Piltdon leaped from his chair. "Outrageous!" He roared. "Ridiculous!"</p> - -<p>"Fifty-one percent," said Feetch firmly. "Don't bother with any -counterproposals or the interview is at an end."</p> - -<p>"Gentlemen!" squawked Piltdon, "I appeal to you—"</p> - -<p>"Stop bluffing," said Feetch coldly. "There's no other way out for -you. Otherwise you're ruined. Here, sign this agreement."</p> - -<p>Piltdon threw the paper to the floor and screamed: "Gentlemen, will you -be a party to this?"</p> - -<p>"Well," murmured the Government man, "I never did think Feetch got a -fair shake."</p> - -<p>"This information is important to science," said the Van Terrel man.</p> - -<p>After Piltdon had signed, the papers were distributed.</p> - -<p>Published in the newspapers the following day, Feetch's statement read, -in part: "The motion in space and time of the singular curvilinear -proportions of the original Super-Opener combined with the capacitor -effect built up as it increased its frictional electro-static charge -in inverse proportion to the cube root of the tolerance between the -involute teeth caused an instantaneous disruption of what I call the -Alpha multi-dimensional screen. The can, being metallic, dropped -through, leaving its non-metallic contents behind. The disruption was -instantly repaired by the stable nature of the screen.</p> - -<p>"Beyond the screen is what I call Alpha space, a space apparently quite -as extensive as our own universe. Unfortunately, as my investigations -indicated, Alpha space seems to be thickly inhabited. These -inhabitants, the nature of whom I have not yet ascertained, obviously -resented the intrusion of the cans, developed a method of disrupting -the screen from their side, and hurled the cans back at us.</p> - -<p>"However, I have established the existence of other spaces up to Mu -space, and suspect that others exist beyond that. Beta space, which is -also adjacent to our own space, is devoid of any form of life. The New -Type Super-Opener is designed to pass cans through the Beta screen. -Beta space will safely absorb an infinite number of cans.</p> - -<p>"I sincerely and humbly venture the opinion that we are on the -threshold of tremendous and mighty discoveries. It is my belief that -possibly an infinite number of universes exist in a type of laminated -block separated by screens.</p> - -<p>"Therefore, might it not be that an infinite number of laminated blocks -exist—?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"Mr Feetch—" said Piltdon.</p> - -<p>Feetch looked up from his desk in the newly constructed Feetch -Multi-Dimensional Development Division of the Piltdon Opener Company. -"Piltdon, don't bother me about production. Production is your problem."</p> - -<p>"But Mr. Feetch—"</p> - -<p>"Get out," said Feetch.</p> - -<p>Piltdon blanched and left.</p> - -<p>"As I was saying, Hanson—" continued Feetch.</p> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Super Opener, by Michael Zuroy - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SUPER OPENER *** - -***** This file should be named 60507-h.htm or 60507-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/5/0/60507/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: The Super Opener - -Author: Michael Zuroy - -Release Date: October 16, 2019 [EBook #60507] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SUPER OPENER *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - THE SUPER OPENER - - BY MICHAEL ZUROY - - _Here's why you should ask for - a "Feetch M-D" next time - you get a can opener!_ - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Worlds of If Science Fiction, August 1958. - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - -"Feetch!" grated Ogden Piltdon, president of the Piltdon Opener -Company, slamming the drafting board with his hairy fist, "I want -results!" - -Heads lifted over boards. Kalvin Feetch shrunk visibly. - -"As chief engineer you're not carrying the ball," Piltdon went on -savagely. "The Piltdon Can-Opener is trailing the competition. -Advertising and Sales are breaking their necks. It's Engineering -that's missing the boat!" - -"But Mr. Piltdon," remonstrated Feetch unsteadily under his employer's -glare, "don't you remember? I tried to...." - -"For two years there hasn't been one lousy improvement in the Piltdon -Can-Opener!" roared Mr. Piltdon. "Look at our competitors. The -International rips apart cans in three and three-tenths seconds. -Universal does it in four." - -"But Mr. Piltdon--" - -"The Minerva Mighty Midget does it in four point two two and plays Home -Sweet Home in chimes. Our own Piltdon opener barely manages to open a -can in eight point nine without chimes. Is this what I'm paying you -for?" - -Feetch adjusted his spectacles with shaking hands. "But Mr. Piltdon, -our opener still has stability, solidity. It is built to last. It has -dignity...." - -"Dignity," pronounced Piltdon, "is for museums. Four months, Feetch! -In four months I want a new can-opener that will be faster, lighter, -stronger, flashier and more musical than any other on the market. I -want it completely developed, engineered and tooled-up, ready for -production. Otherwise, Feetch--" - -Feetch's body twitched. "But Mr. Piltdon, four months is hardly time -enough for development, even with an adequate staff. I've been trying -to tell you for years that we're bound to fall behind because we don't -have enough personnel to conduct research. Our men can barely keep -up with production and maintenance. If you would let me put on a few -draftsmen and...." - -"Excuses," sneered Mr. Piltdon. "Your staff is more than adequate. -I will not allow you to throw out my money. Four months, Feetch, -no more!" Piltdon trudged out of the room, leaving behind him an -oppressive silence. - -How could you set a time limit on research and development? A designer -had to dream at his board, investigate, search, build, test, compare, -discard. He had always wanted to devote all his time to research, but -Piltdon Opener had not given him that opportunity. Twenty-five years! -thought Feetch. Twenty-five years of close supervision, dead-lines, -production headaches, inadequate facilities and assistance. What had -happened, to the proud dream he once had, the dream of exploring -uncharted engineering regions, of unlimited time to investigate and -develop? - -Ah, well, thought Feetch straightening his thin shoulders, he had -managed somehow to design a few good things during his twenty-five -years with Piltdon. That was some satisfaction. - -What now? He had to hang on to his job. Technical work was scarce. -Since the early 1980's the schools had been turning out more -technicians than industry could absorb. He was too old to compete in -the employment market. He couldn't afford to lose any money. Jenny -wasn't well. - -How to meet this four month dead-line? He would get right on it -himself, of course; Hanson--good man--could work with him. He shook his -head despairingly. Something would be sure to blow up. Well, he had to -start-- - - * * * * * - -"Chief," said Hanson a few weeks later as they entered the lab, "I'm -beginning to wonder if the answer is in the hand mechanical type at -all." - -"Got to be," answered Feetch tiredly. "We must work along classical -can-opener lines. Departures, such as the thermal or motor-driven -types, would be too expensive for mass production." - -Three new models and a group of cans were waiting for them on the -bench. They began testing, Hanson operating the openers and Feetch -clocking. "Four point four," announced Feetch after the last test. -"Good, but not good enough. Too bulky. Appearance unsatisfactory. -Chimes tinny. We've made progress, but we've a long way to go." - -The problem was tricky. It might seem that use of the proper gear -ratios would give the required velocity, but there were too many -other factors that negated this direct approach. The mechanism had to -be compact and streamlined. Gear sizes had to be kept down. Can-top -resistance, internal resistance, cutting tooth performance, handle -size and moment, the minimum strength of a woman's hand were some of -the variables that had to be balanced within rigid limits. Sector -type cutters, traversing several arcs at the same time, had seemed to -offer the answer for a while, but the adjusting mechanism necessary to -compensate for variable can sizes had been too complex to be practical. -There was the ever-present limit to production cost. - -Hanson's eyes were upon him. "Chief," he said, "it's a rotten shame. -Twenty-five years of your life you put in with Piltdon, and he'd fire -you just like that if you don't do the impossible. The Piltdon Company -is built upon your designs and you get handed this deal!" - -"Well, well," said Feetch. "I drew my pay every week so I suppose I -have no complaints. Although," a wistful note crept into his voice "I -would have liked a little recognition. Piltdon is a household word, -but who has heard of Feetch? Well,"--Feetch blew his nose--"how do we -stand, Hanson?" - -Hanson's bull-dog features drew into a scowl. "Piltdon ought to -be rayed," he growled. "O.K., Chief. Eleven experimental models -designed to date. Two more on the boards. Nine completed and tested, -two in work. Best performance, four point four, but model otherwise -unsatisfactory." - -"Hello," said Feetch as an aproned machinist entered carrying a -glistening mechanism. "Here's another model. Let's try it." The -machinist departed and Hanson locked the opener on a can. "I hope----" -he turned the handle, and stopped abruptly, staring down open-mouthed. - -A cylinder of close-packed beans rested on the bench under the opener. - -The can itself had disappeared. - -"Chief," said Hanson. "Chief." - -"Yes," said Feetch. "I see it too. Try another can." - -"Vegetable soup or spinach?" inquired Hanson dreamily. - -"Spinach, I think," said Feetch. "Where did the can go, do you suppose?" - -The spinach can disappeared. Likewise several corn cans, sweet potato -cans and corned-beef hash cans, leaving their contents intact. It was -rather disconcerting. - -"Dear, dear," said Feetch, regarding the piles of food on the bench. -"There must be some explanation. I designed this opener with sixteen -degree, twenty-two minute pressure angle modified involute gear -teeth, seven degree, nineteen minute front clearance cutter angle and -thirty-six degree, twelve minute back rake angle. I expected that such -departures from the norm might achieve unconventional performance, but -this--Dear, dear. Where do the cans go, I wonder?" - -"What's the difference? Don't you see what you've got here? It's the -answer! It's more than the answer! We can put this right into work and -beat the dead-line." - -Feetch shook his head. "No, Hanson. We're producing something we don't -understand. What forces have we uncovered here? Where do the cans go? -What makes them disappear? Are we dealing with a kinetic or a kinematic -effect? What motions can we plot in the area of disappearance and what -are their analytical mathematical formulae? What masses may be critical -here? What transformations of energy are involved? No, Hanson, we must -learn a lot more." - -"But Chief, your job." - -"I'll risk that. Not a word to Piltdon." - -Several days later, however, Piltdon himself charged into the drawing -room and slapped Feetch heartily on the back, causing him to break a -pencil point. "Feetch!" roared Piltdon. "Is this talk that's going -around the plant true? Why didn't you tell me? Let's see it." - -After Piltdon had seen it his eyes took on a feverish glint. "This," -he exulted, "will make can-opener history. Instantaneous opening! -Automatic disposal! Wait until Advertising and Sales get hold of this! -We'll throttle our competitors! The Piltdon Super-Opener we'll call it." - -"Mr. Piltdon--" said Feetch shakily. - -Piltdon stared at his chief engineer sharply. "What's the matter, -Feetch? The thing can be duplicated, can't it?" - -"Yes, sir. I've just finished checking that. But I'm in the midst of -further investigation of the effect. There's more here than just a new -type can-opener, sir. A whole new field of physics. New principles. -This is big, Mr. Piltdon. I recommend that we delay production until -further research can be completed. Hire a few top scientists and -engineers. Find out where the cans go. Put out a scientific paper on -the effect." - -"Feetch," bit out Piltdon, his face growing hard. "Stow this hooey. I -don't give a damn where the cans go. May I remind you that under our -standard patent agreement, all rights to your invention belong to the -company? As well as anything you may produce in the field within a year -after leaving our employ? We have a good thing here, and I don't want -you holding it back. We're going into production immediately." - - * * * * * - -Close, thought Feetch, wearily. It had been a man-killing job, and it -had been close, but he'd made it. Beat the time limit by a half-day. -The first tentative shipments of Piltdon Super-Openers had gone to -distributors along the Eastern seaboard. The first advertisements -blazed in selected media. The first reorders came back, and then: "It's -a sell-out!" crowed Piltdon, waving a sheaf of telegrams. "Step up -production! Let 'er rip!" - -The Super-Openers rolled over the country. In a remarkably short time -they appeared in millions of kitchens from coast-to-coast. Sales -climbed to hundreds of thousands per day. Piltdon Opener went into -peak production in three shifts, but was still unable to keep up with -the demand. Construction was begun on a new plant, and additional -plants were planned. Long lines waited in front of houseware stores. -Department stores, lucky enough to have Super-Openers on hand, limited -sales to one to a customer. Piltdon cancelled his advertising program. -Newspapers, magazines, radio, television and word-of-mouth spread the -fame of the opener so that advertising was unnecessary. - -Meanwhile, of course, government scientists, research foundations, -universities and independent investigators began to look into this new -phenomonen. Receiving no satisfactory explanation from Piltdon, they -set up their own research. - -Far into the night burned the lights of countless laboratories. Noted -physicists probed, measured, weighed, traced, X-rayed, dissolved, -spun, peered at, photographed, magnetized, exploded, shattered and -analyzed Super-Openers without achieving the glimmer of a satisfactory -explanation. Competitors found the patent impossible to circumvent, for -any departure from its exact specifications nullified the effect. - -Piltdon, genial these days with success and acclaim, roared at Feetch: -"I'm putting you in for a raise. Yes sir! To reward you for assisting -me with my invention I'm raising your pay two hundred dollars a year. -That's almost four dollars a week, man." - -"Thank you, Mr. Piltdon." And still, thought Feetch wryly, he received -no recognition. His name did not even appear on the patent. Well, -well, that was the way it went. He must find his satisfaction in his -work. And it had been interesting lately, the work he had been doing -nights at home investigating what had been named the Piltdon Effect. -It had been difficult, working alone and buying his own equipment. The -oscillator and ultra microwave tracking unit had been particularly -expensive. He was a fool, he supposed, to try independent research when -so many huge scientific organizations were working on it. But he could -no more keep away from it than he could stop eating. - -He still didn't know where the cans went, but somehow he felt that he -was close to the answer. - -When he finally found the answer, it was too late. The Borenchuck -incident was only hours away. - -As soon as he could get hold of Piltdon, Feetch said trembling, "Sir, I -think I know where those cans are going. I recommend--" - -"Are you still worrying about that?" Piltdon roared jovially. "Leave -that to the long-hairs. We're making money, that's all that counts, eh -Feetch?" - - * * * * * - -That night, at six-ten p.m., the Borenchuck family of Selby, South -Dakota, sat down to their evening meal. Just as they started in on the -soup, a rain of empty tin cans clattered down, splashed into the soup, -raised a welt on the forehead of Borenchuck senior, settled down to a -gentle, steady klunk! klunk! klunk! and inexorably began to pile up on -the dining-room floor. They seemed to materialize from a plane just -below the ceiling. The police called the fire department and the fire -department stared helplessly and recommended the sanitation department. - -The incident made headlines in the local papers. - -The next day other local papers in widely scattered locations reported -similar incidents. - -The following day, cans began falling on Chicago. St. Louis was next, -and then over the entire nation the cans began to rain down. They fell -outdoors and indoors, usually materializing at heights that were not -dangerous. The deluge followed no pattern. Sometimes it would slacken, -sometimes it would stop, sometimes begin heavily again. It fell in -homes, on the streets, in theatres, trains, ships, universities and -dog-food factories. No place was immune. - -People took to wearing hats indoors and out, and the sale of helmets -boomed. - -All activity was seriously curtailed. - -A state of national emergency was declared. - -Government investigators went to work and soon confirmed what was -generally suspected: these were the same cans that had been opened by -the Piltdon Super-Opener. - -Statisticians and mathematicians calculated the mean rate of can -precipitation and estimated that if all the cans opened by Piltdon -openers were to come back, the deluge should be over in fifteen point -twenty-nine days. - -Super-Opener sales of course immediately plummeted to zero and stayed -there. Anti-Piltdon editorials appeared in the papers. Commentators -accused Piltdon of deliberately hoaxing the public for his own gain. A -Congressional investigation was demanded. Piltdon received threats of -bodily injury. Lawsuits were filed against him. He barricaded himself -in the plant, surrounded by bodyguards. - -Livid with fury and apprehension, he screamed at Feetch, "This is your -doing, you vandal! I'm a ruined man!" A falling can caught him neatly -on the tip of his nose. - -"But sir," trembled Feetch, dodging three spaghetti cans, "I tried to -warn you." - -"You're through, Feetch!" raved Piltdon. "Fired! Get out! But before -you go, I want you to know that I've directed the blame where it -belongs. I've just released to the press the truth about who created -the Super-Opener. Now, get out!" - -"Yes, sir," said Feetch paling. "Then you don't want to hear about my -discovery of a way to prevent the cans from coming back?" - -Klunk! A barrage of cans hit the floor, and both men took refuge under -Piltdon's huge desk. "No!" yelled Piltdon at Feetch's face which was -inches away. "No, I----What did you say?" - -"A small design improvement sir, and the cans would disappear forever." - -Klunk! - -"Forever, Feetch?" - -"Yes sir." Klunk! Klunk! - -"You're positive, Feetch?" Piltdon's eyes glared into Feetch's. - -"Sir, I never make careless claims." - -"That's true," said Piltdon. His eyes grew dreamy. "It can be done," -he mused. "The New Type Super-Opener. Free exchanges for the old. -Cash guarantee that empty cans will never bother you. Take a licking -at first, but then monopolize the market. All right, Feetch, I'll -give you another chance. You'll turn over all the details to me. The -patent on the improvement will naturally be mine. I'll get the credit -for rectifying your blunder. Fine, fine. We'll work it out. Hop on -production, at once, Feetch." - -Feetch felt himself sag inwardly. "Mr. Piltdon," he said. "I'm asking -only one favor. Let me work full time on research and development, -especially on the Piltdon effect. Hire a couple of extra men to help -with production. I assure you the company will benefit in the end." - -"Damn it, no!" roared Piltdon. "How many times must I tell you? You got -your job back, didn't you?" - -The prospect of long years of heavy production schedules, restricted -engineering and tight supervision suddenly made Kalvin Feetch feel -very tired. Research, he thought. Development. What he had always -wanted. Over the years he had waited, thinking that there would be -opportunities later. But now he was growing older, and he felt that -there might not be a later. Somehow he would manage to get along. -Perhaps someone would give him a job working in the new field he had -pioneered. With a sense of relief he realized that he had made his -decision. - -"Mr. Piltdon," Feetch said. "I--" klunk!--"resign." - -Piltdon started, extreme astonishment crossing his face. - -"No use," said Feetch. "Nothing you can say--" klunk! klunk! -klunk!--"will make any difference now." - -"But see here, the New Type Super-Opener...!" - -"Will remain my secret. Good day." - -"Feetch!" howled Piltdon. "I order you to remain!" - -Feetch almost submitted from force of habit. He hesitated for a moment, -then turned abruptly. - -"Good-day," said Feetch firmly, sprinting through the falling cans to -the door. - - * * * * * - -Money, Feetch decided after a while, was a good thing to have. His -supply was running pretty low. He was not having any luck finding -another job. Although the cans had stopped falling on the fifteenth -day, as predicted by the statisticians, industry would not soon forget -the inconvenience and losses caused by the deluge. It was not anxious -to hire the man it regarded as responsible for the whole thing. -"Feetch," the personnel man would read. "Kalvin Feetch." Then, looking -up, "Not the Kalvin Feetch who--" - -"Yes," Feetch would admit miserably. - -"I am sorry, but--" - -He did no better with research organizations. Typical was a letter -from the Van Terrel Foundation: "--cannot accept your application -inasmuch as we feel your premature application of your discovery to -profit-making denotes a lack of scientific responsibility and ethics -not desirable in a member of our organization--former employer states -the decision was yours entirely. Unfavorable reference--" - -Piltdon, Feetch thought, feeling a strange sensation deep within his -chest that he had not the experience to recognize as the beginning of a -slow anger, Piltdon was hitting low and getting away with it. - -Of course, if he were to agree to reveal his latest discoveries to a -research organization, he would undoubtedly get an appointment. But how -could he? Everything patentable in his work would automatically revert -to Piltdon under the one year clause in the company patent agreement. -No, Feetch told himself, he was revealing nothing that Piltdon might -grab. The anger began to mount. - -But he was beginning to need money desperately. Jenny wasn't getting -any better and medical bills were running high. - -The phone rang. Feetch seized it and said to the image: "Absolutely -not." - -"I'll go up another ten dollars," grated the little Piltdon image. -"Do you realize, man, this is the fourteenth raise I've offered you? -A total increase of one hundred and twenty-six dollars? Be sensible, -Feetch. I know you can't find work anywhere else." - -"Thanks to you. Mr. Piltdon, I wouldn't work for you if--" - -A barrage of rocks crashed against the heavy steel screening of the -window. "What's going on!" yelled Piltdon. "Oh, I see. People throwing -rocks at your house again? Oh, I know all about that, Feetch. I know -that you're probably the most unpopular man alive to-day. I know about -the rocks, the tomatoes, the rotten eggs, the sneaking out at night, -the disguises you've had to use. Why don't you come back to us and -change all that, Feetch? We'll put out the New Type Super-Opener and -the world will soon forget about the old one." - -"No," said Feetch. "People will forget anyway--I hope." - -"If you won't think of yourself, at least think of your fellow -workmen," begged Piltdon, his voice going blurry. "Do you realize that -Piltdon Opener will soon be forced to close down, throwing all your -former associates out of work? Think of Hanson, Sanchez, Forbes. They -have families too. Think of the men in the shop, the girls in the -office, the salesmen on the road. All, all unemployed because of you. -Think of that, Feetch." - -Feetch blinked. This had not occurred to him. - -Piltdon eyed him sharply, then smiled with a hint of triumph. "Think it -over, Feetch." - -Feetch sat, thinking it over. Was it right to let all these people lose -their jobs? Frowning, he dialed Hanson's number. - -"Chief," said Hanson, "Forget it. The boys are behind you one hundred -per cent. We'll make out." - -"But that's the trouble. I thought you'd feel like this, and I can't -let you." - -"You're beginning to weaken. Don't. Think, chief, think. The brain that -figured the Super-Opener can solve this." - -Feetch hung up. A glow of anger that had been building up in his chest -grew warmer. He began pacing the floor. How he hated to do it. Think, -Hanson had said. But he had. He's considered every angle, and there was -no solution. - -Feetch walked into the kitchen and carefully poured himself a drink of -water. He drank the water slowly and placed the glass on the washstand -with a tiny click. It was the tiny click that did it. Something about -it touched off the growing rage. If Piltdon were there he would have -punched him in the nose. The twenty-five years. The tricks. The threats. - -Think? He'd figured the solution long ago, only he hadn't allowed -himself to see it. Not lack of brains, lack of guts. Well, he thought -grimly, dialing Piltdon's number, he was going through with it now. -"Piltdon!" he barked. "Three p.m. tomorrow. My place. Be here. That's -all." He hung up. - -In the same grim mood the following morning, he placed a few more calls. - - * * * * * - -In the same mood that afternoon he stood in the middle of his -living-room and looked at his visitors: Piltdon, Williams, the -Government man; Billings from the Van Terrel Foundation; Steiner of -Westchester University; the members of the press. - -"Gentlemen," he said. "I'll make it brief." He waved the papers in his -hand. "Here is everything I know about what I call the Feetch Effect, -including plans and specifications for the New Type Super-Opener. -All of you have special reasons for being keenly interested in this -information. I am now going to give a copy to each of you, providing -one condition is met by Mr. Piltdon." He stared at Piltdon. "In short, -I want fifty-one per cent of the stock of Piltdon Opener." - -Piltdon leaped from his chair. "Outrageous!" He roared. "Ridiculous!" - -"Fifty-one percent," said Feetch firmly. "Don't bother with any -counterproposals or the interview is at an end." - -"Gentlemen!" squawked Piltdon, "I appeal to you--" - -"Stop bluffing," said Feetch coldly. "There's no other way out for -you. Otherwise you're ruined. Here, sign this agreement." - -Piltdon threw the paper to the floor and screamed: "Gentlemen, will you -be a party to this?" - -"Well," murmured the Government man, "I never did think Feetch got a -fair shake." - -"This information is important to science," said the Van Terrel man. - -After Piltdon had signed, the papers were distributed. - -Published in the newspapers the following day, Feetch's statement read, -in part: "The motion in space and time of the singular curvilinear -proportions of the original Super-Opener combined with the capacitor -effect built up as it increased its frictional electro-static charge -in inverse proportion to the cube root of the tolerance between the -involute teeth caused an instantaneous disruption of what I call the -Alpha multi-dimensional screen. The can, being metallic, dropped -through, leaving its non-metallic contents behind. The disruption was -instantly repaired by the stable nature of the screen. - -"Beyond the screen is what I call Alpha space, a space apparently quite -as extensive as our own universe. Unfortunately, as my investigations -indicated, Alpha space seems to be thickly inhabited. These -inhabitants, the nature of whom I have not yet ascertained, obviously -resented the intrusion of the cans, developed a method of disrupting -the screen from their side, and hurled the cans back at us. - -"However, I have established the existence of other spaces up to Mu -space, and suspect that others exist beyond that. Beta space, which is -also adjacent to our own space, is devoid of any form of life. The New -Type Super-Opener is designed to pass cans through the Beta screen. -Beta space will safely absorb an infinite number of cans. - -"I sincerely and humbly venture the opinion that we are on the -threshold of tremendous and mighty discoveries. It is my belief that -possibly an infinite number of universes exist in a type of laminated -block separated by screens. - -"Therefore, might it not be that an infinite number of laminated blocks -exist--?" - - * * * * * - -"Mr Feetch--" said Piltdon. - -Feetch looked up from his desk in the newly constructed Feetch -Multi-Dimensional Development Division of the Piltdon Opener Company. -"Piltdon, don't bother me about production. Production is your problem." - -"But Mr. Feetch--" - -"Get out," said Feetch. - -Piltdon blanched and left. - -"As I was saying, Hanson--" continued Feetch. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Super Opener, by Michael Zuroy - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SUPER OPENER *** - -***** This file should be named 60507.txt or 60507.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/5/0/60507/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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