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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll -have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using -this ebook. - - - -Title: Short Snorter - -Author: Charles Einstein - -Release Date: October 19, 2019 [EBook #60521] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SHORT SNORTER *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="350" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<h1>The Short Snorter</h1> - -<h2>CHARLES EINSTEIN</h2> - -<p class="ph1"><i>His saucer was parked in the<br /> -woods, and Mr. Steariot (from Venus)<br /> -was parked in the lobby....</i></p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Worlds of If Science Fiction, August 1958.<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>Three paths led through the woods away from the resort hotel, and of -the three two were clearly marked: one with a sign that said it led to -the lake, the other pointing toward the golf links. The third pathway -was unmarked, and this was the one that inevitably the lovers and the -honeymooners took—the path that Alice and Fred Daniels followed today.</p> - -<p>The sun was unusually warm for this time of year, but only a few -yards along the pathway Fred and Alice were swallowed up by the great -and near-great trees of the forest. The sunlight was, except for an -occasional patch of light here and there, warded away by the foliage -above. The forest was very quiet. The pathway bridged a silent brook, -and then, perhaps a third of a mile into the woods, turned abruptly to -the left and the woods became even more dense, the pathway narrow.</p> - -<p>Through the trees to the right at this point was a clearing, an unusual -grassy circle perhaps sixty yards in diameter. It was not the clearing -itself, however, but, instead, the glint of color in the sunlight that -caused Fred and Alice to stop and look.</p> - -<p>Alice said, "Fred, what is that?"</p> - -<p>"Don't know," he said. "Something red. Let's look."</p> - -<p>The two of them turned off the path and made their way through a -dismal barrage of thicket to the clearing that lay beyond. When they -got there, they saw the circular object—<i>vehicle</i> might be a better -word. It was possibly fifteen yards in diameter. It seemed to be made -of three rings, smaller ones bottom and top and the larger one ribbing -the center, and to be constructed of some kind of plastic. Between the -central and upper rings were set a series of small windows. The entire -thing was painted a gaudy red.</p> - -<p>"What do you think it is?" Fred said.</p> - -<p>"A flying saucer," Alice said promptly. She laughed a little, but -clutched at her husband's arm. "Isn't it?"</p> - -<p>"I don't know."</p> - -<p>"But what else would it be?"</p> - -<p>"I don't know," Fred said again. "Let's look inside."</p> - -<p>"Fred," Alice said, "You'd better not—"</p> - -<p>"Don't be silly," he said, and walked resolutely up to the object and, -standing on tiptoe, peered through one of the windows.</p> - -<p>"What is it?" Alice called from the edge of the clearing. "What do you -see?"</p> - -<p>"It's empty," he called back.</p> - -<p>"What's inside?"</p> - -<p>Fred shook his head. "You won't believe it."</p> - -<p>"What?"</p> - -<p>"It's got a steering wheel," he called out hollowly. "And some dials."</p> - -<p>"My goodness," Alice said. "Is it a real one?"</p> - -<p>"How do I know?" he said, and rejoined her, casting a series of glances -uncertainly over his shoulder at the bright red saucer behind him. -"What do you suppose we ought to do?"</p> - -<p>"Tell somebody," Alice said. "I suppose."</p> - -<p>"Who do we tell?"</p> - -<p>"I don't know. There must be <i>somebody</i>—"</p> - -<p>They looked almost guiltily at each other. "Nobody'll believe us," Fred -said.</p> - -<p>"Why not?" Alice said. "It's <i>here</i>, isn't it?"</p> - -<p>Fred stopped and thought. "Who knows how long it'll stay?"</p> - -<p>They looked at each other again. Then Alice said slowly, "If we went -back and got the camera—"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Swiftly, they made their way back toward the hotel through the quiet -forest. When they got there, they found Mr. Mason, the manager of the -hotel, adjusting the badminton net in front of the main porch. Mr. -Mason loosed a ready smile. "How's everything?" he said. "Find enough -to do?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, thank you," Fred said to him. "We were just walking through the -woods. We came back for our camera. Then we're off again."</p> - -<p>Mr. Mason nodded. "Find the saucer?"</p> - -<p>Fred looked at him. "You mean the flying saucer?"</p> - -<p>The manager nodded again. "I see you did find it. Good. Take a picture -of it, by all means. I've already taken a whole batch myself."</p> - -<p>"You have?" Fred said, frowning. "What's it all about?"</p> - -<p>"It's a flying saucer," Mr. Mason said. "From Venus. Mr. Steariot, who -piloted it, is a guest here. I can introduce you to him if you like. He -speaks excellent English."</p> - -<p>Fred Daniels said, "Wait a minute. You—"</p> - -<p>"Oh, there's no point in it," Mr. Mason said in a weary tone of voice. -"No point in it at all. I took pictures. I tried to get the Army up -here. I wrote letters." He shrugged expressively. "It's a cynical age -we live in, I guess. Everybody's very polite, but they make it clear -they think it's just a gimmick I worked up to get the hotel publicity." -He nodded seriously. "The whole trouble's with Mr. Steariot. If he had -a light bulb for a head, or seven legs, or talked funny, why, it'd be -a different thing entirely. But he looks and acts just like you or I. -Here I've got a legitimate flying saucer sitting on my property and you -might as well try to tell them it's a—well, a flying saucer! For all -they'll believe me. Now you two have seen it with your own eyes and you -don't believe it either."</p> - -<p>Fred swallowed and looked at Alice for a moment. Then he said, "What -did you say his name was?"</p> - -<p>"Mr. Steariot," Mr. Mason said. "Actually, he's just as happy nobody -believes he's from Venus. If they believed it, they'd probably lock him -up in jail somewhere or impound his saucer. As it is, he says this is -the first vacation he's had in years." Mr. Mason looked unhappily about -him. "He's probably in the lounge now. Want to meet him?"</p> - -<p>Fred said dazedly, "I—"</p> - -<p>"Ah, come on," Mr. Mason said. "He won't bite you." He led the way up -the steps of the porch and into the lounge and over to where a small, -mustachioed man, wearing eyeglasses and appearing to be in his late -forties, was working a crossword puzzle in the morning paper.</p> - -<p>"Mr. Steariot," Mr. Mason said, "I should like you to meet Mr. and Mrs. -Daniels, also guests here. They have just seen your saucer."</p> - -<p>"Charmed," Mr. Steariot said, and got to his feet. He shook hands with -Fred Daniels. "Are you here for a long stay, Mr. Daniels?"</p> - -<p>"I'm not sure," Fred said, a little unhappily. "Mr. Mason told us you -were from Venus."</p> - -<p>"I told them about you, Mr. Steariot," Mr. Mason said. "Naturally, they -don't believe it any more than anybody else."</p> - -<p>"No reason why they should," Mr. Steariot said amiably. "No reason in -the world, if I may coin a phrase. Dr. Phelps at the Institute didn't -believe it either."</p> - -<p>Mr. Mason said, "Mr. Steariot here had a long interview with Dr. Phelps -of the Geophysical Institute at Princeton when he first arrived here on -Earth with us."</p> - -<p>"Oh," Fred said. He gazed uncomfortably at Mr. Steariot. "We didn't -mean to interrupt you."</p> - -<p>"I was only doing the crossword puzzle," Mr. Steariot said. "Do you -know a two-letter word for sun-god?"</p> - -<p>Alice said, "Is this your first trip here?"</p> - -<p>"You mean here to the hotel," Mr. Steariot said, "or to Earth?"</p> - -<p>"Earth," Fred said, dismally.</p> - -<p>"My second," Mr. Steariot said. "First trip I wound up near Leningrad. -Terrible time. I thought they'd talk English, but they don't, and they -thought I was an American, and two of their officials got into the -saucer with me, and the only way I could save myself was to take off -with them. They're on Venus now."</p> - -<p>"This accounts," Mr. Mason broke in, "for the way those two high -Russian officials suddenly disappeared from sight three years ago. You -remember? Everybody thought they'd been liquidated."</p> - -<p>Fred Daniels looked around the room. A hollow, frightening feeling had -come upon him. There were hundreds of questions he could have asked, -and yet he wanted nothing so much as to be away from there.</p> - -<p>His wife Alice, though, was constrained to learn more about Mr. -Steariot. She said, "Mr. Steariot, may I ask you something?"</p> - -<p>"By all means," Mr. Steariot said, and blinked owlishly at her.</p> - -<p>"Do you," Alice said to him, "carry any money?"</p> - -<p>It was, Fred Daniels realized, a marvelous question. If there were sham -here, this would be the quickest way to—</p> - -<p>"Why, of course." Mr. Steariot said, and reached for his wallet. -"Let's see—health insurance—saucer driver's license—here, my dear. -A five-djino bill." He extracted a yellow banknote and handed it to -Alice. The banknote, slightly larger than an American dollar bill, was -remarkably similar in other particulars. It had upon it a picture of a -flying saucer, the figure 5, and, spelled out, "FIVE DJINOS".</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus.jpg" width="650" height="451" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>"Let me sign it for you," Mr. Steariot said, taking out a pen. "You can -have it for a souvenier."</p> - -<p>"Like the short snorters in the war," Mr. Mason, the hotel manager, -said. "You remember them, Mr. Daniels? Where people got famous -signatures on five and ten and twenty-dollar bills and exchanged them -and what not, and they called them short snorters?"</p> - -<p>"I remember," Fred Daniels said. "Something like that."</p> - -<p>"Five djinos on Venus," Mr. Steariot said, signing his name with a -flourish, "is worth about twenty dollars here on Earth. No official -rate of exchange, of course, but from what I've seen, that's about what -I'd judge. Here you go." He handed the bill over.</p> - -<p>"Well, wait, then," Fred Daniels said. "I ought to sign one of <i>our</i> -bills for <i>you</i>."</p> - -<p>"Ah, no need for that," Mr. Steariot said. "No doubt you need twenty -dollars worse than I need five djinos."</p> - -<p>"Don't be ridiculous," Fred said, a little stiffly; and, by now -committed, he went into his wallet and came out with a twenty dollar -bill. He signed his name to it, using Mr. Steariot's fountain pen.</p> - -<p>"Wonderful," Mr. Steariot said. "How nice to have met you both."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"I feel very badly about this," Mr. Mason, the hotel manager, said to -Fred and Alice. The three of them were on the porch outside. "This -short snorter business always seems to happen whenever I introduce Mr. -Steariot to anyone. Dr. Phelps at the Institute gave him fifty dollars. -Can you imagine that?"</p> - -<p>"It's interesting in its way," Fred said. "It just occurred to me: Mr. -Steariot can spend Earth money here, but we can't spend Venus money."</p> - -<p>"That's true," Mr. Mason said. "On the other hand, Mr. Steariot has -never once, to my knowledge, been the one to bring up the subject. I -think it's quite painful to him, really. But the same thing inevitably -occurs to everybody he meets. You know, let's see the color of your -money. I guess people are pretty much the same everywhere—that -is, everywhere on <i>Earth</i>. They judge everything in terms of money, -including whether you've even been born on Earth! 'Let's see your -money,' they say to Mr. Steariot, and out he comes with one of those -damn five-djino bills, and we're off."</p> - -<p>"You know," Alice Daniels said thoughtfully, "in a way it's a lesson. -Isn't it, Fred? I mean, everybody is money conscious. Maybe too much -so. I'm not sorry it cost us twenty dollars to meet Mr. Steariot."</p> - -<p>"You may be right," Fred said to her. "You may be right. Who knows, -some day this five-djino bill may be a very valuable—"</p> - -<p>"There you go again," Alice cut in. "Always putting it in terms of -money."</p> - -<p>"But <i>you're</i> the one," Fred said, "who thought to ask him about it in -the first place."</p> - -<p>"Don't quarrel," Mr. Mason, the hotel manager, said to them. "After -all, for you it's just a vacation. For me, I've got this man sitting in -my lounge day in and day out doing crossword puzzles and trading short -snorters with my guests. Nobody really believes he's from Venus—nobody -important, anyway. It's a little frightening, when you're trying to run -a happy hotel. Sometimes I wish he'd go back to wherever he came from."</p> - -<p>"Well," Fred said, "he's bound to leave one of these days."</p> - -<p>"Maybe," Mr. Mason said doubtfully. "Offhand, though, I'd say the way -he's taking it in, he can't afford to."</p> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Short Snorter, by Charles Einstein - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SHORT SNORTER *** - -***** This file should be named 60521-h.htm or 60521-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/5/2/60521/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll -have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using -this ebook. - - - -Title: Short Snorter - -Author: Charles Einstein - -Release Date: October 19, 2019 [EBook #60521] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SHORT SNORTER *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - The Short Snorter - - BY CHARLES EINSTEIN - - _His saucer was parked in the - woods, and Mr. Steariot (from Venus) - was parked in the lobby...._ - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Worlds of If Science Fiction, August 1958. - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - -Three paths led through the woods away from the resort hotel, and of -the three two were clearly marked: one with a sign that said it led to -the lake, the other pointing toward the golf links. The third pathway -was unmarked, and this was the one that inevitably the lovers and the -honeymooners took--the path that Alice and Fred Daniels followed today. - -The sun was unusually warm for this time of year, but only a few -yards along the pathway Fred and Alice were swallowed up by the great -and near-great trees of the forest. The sunlight was, except for an -occasional patch of light here and there, warded away by the foliage -above. The forest was very quiet. The pathway bridged a silent brook, -and then, perhaps a third of a mile into the woods, turned abruptly to -the left and the woods became even more dense, the pathway narrow. - -Through the trees to the right at this point was a clearing, an unusual -grassy circle perhaps sixty yards in diameter. It was not the clearing -itself, however, but, instead, the glint of color in the sunlight that -caused Fred and Alice to stop and look. - -Alice said, "Fred, what is that?" - -"Don't know," he said. "Something red. Let's look." - -The two of them turned off the path and made their way through a -dismal barrage of thicket to the clearing that lay beyond. When they -got there, they saw the circular object--_vehicle_ might be a better -word. It was possibly fifteen yards in diameter. It seemed to be made -of three rings, smaller ones bottom and top and the larger one ribbing -the center, and to be constructed of some kind of plastic. Between the -central and upper rings were set a series of small windows. The entire -thing was painted a gaudy red. - -"What do you think it is?" Fred said. - -"A flying saucer," Alice said promptly. She laughed a little, but -clutched at her husband's arm. "Isn't it?" - -"I don't know." - -"But what else would it be?" - -"I don't know," Fred said again. "Let's look inside." - -"Fred," Alice said, "You'd better not--" - -"Don't be silly," he said, and walked resolutely up to the object and, -standing on tiptoe, peered through one of the windows. - -"What is it?" Alice called from the edge of the clearing. "What do you -see?" - -"It's empty," he called back. - -"What's inside?" - -Fred shook his head. "You won't believe it." - -"What?" - -"It's got a steering wheel," he called out hollowly. "And some dials." - -"My goodness," Alice said. "Is it a real one?" - -"How do I know?" he said, and rejoined her, casting a series of glances -uncertainly over his shoulder at the bright red saucer behind him. -"What do you suppose we ought to do?" - -"Tell somebody," Alice said. "I suppose." - -"Who do we tell?" - -"I don't know. There must be _somebody_--" - -They looked almost guiltily at each other. "Nobody'll believe us," Fred -said. - -"Why not?" Alice said. "It's _here_, isn't it?" - -Fred stopped and thought. "Who knows how long it'll stay?" - -They looked at each other again. Then Alice said slowly, "If we went -back and got the camera--" - - * * * * * - -Swiftly, they made their way back toward the hotel through the quiet -forest. When they got there, they found Mr. Mason, the manager of the -hotel, adjusting the badminton net in front of the main porch. Mr. -Mason loosed a ready smile. "How's everything?" he said. "Find enough -to do?" - -"Yes, thank you," Fred said to him. "We were just walking through the -woods. We came back for our camera. Then we're off again." - -Mr. Mason nodded. "Find the saucer?" - -Fred looked at him. "You mean the flying saucer?" - -The manager nodded again. "I see you did find it. Good. Take a picture -of it, by all means. I've already taken a whole batch myself." - -"You have?" Fred said, frowning. "What's it all about?" - -"It's a flying saucer," Mr. Mason said. "From Venus. Mr. Steariot, who -piloted it, is a guest here. I can introduce you to him if you like. He -speaks excellent English." - -Fred Daniels said, "Wait a minute. You--" - -"Oh, there's no point in it," Mr. Mason said in a weary tone of voice. -"No point in it at all. I took pictures. I tried to get the Army up -here. I wrote letters." He shrugged expressively. "It's a cynical age -we live in, I guess. Everybody's very polite, but they make it clear -they think it's just a gimmick I worked up to get the hotel publicity." -He nodded seriously. "The whole trouble's with Mr. Steariot. If he had -a light bulb for a head, or seven legs, or talked funny, why, it'd be -a different thing entirely. But he looks and acts just like you or I. -Here I've got a legitimate flying saucer sitting on my property and you -might as well try to tell them it's a--well, a flying saucer! For all -they'll believe me. Now you two have seen it with your own eyes and you -don't believe it either." - -Fred swallowed and looked at Alice for a moment. Then he said, "What -did you say his name was?" - -"Mr. Steariot," Mr. Mason said. "Actually, he's just as happy nobody -believes he's from Venus. If they believed it, they'd probably lock him -up in jail somewhere or impound his saucer. As it is, he says this is -the first vacation he's had in years." Mr. Mason looked unhappily about -him. "He's probably in the lounge now. Want to meet him?" - -Fred said dazedly, "I--" - -"Ah, come on," Mr. Mason said. "He won't bite you." He led the way up -the steps of the porch and into the lounge and over to where a small, -mustachioed man, wearing eyeglasses and appearing to be in his late -forties, was working a crossword puzzle in the morning paper. - -"Mr. Steariot," Mr. Mason said, "I should like you to meet Mr. and Mrs. -Daniels, also guests here. They have just seen your saucer." - -"Charmed," Mr. Steariot said, and got to his feet. He shook hands with -Fred Daniels. "Are you here for a long stay, Mr. Daniels?" - -"I'm not sure," Fred said, a little unhappily. "Mr. Mason told us you -were from Venus." - -"I told them about you, Mr. Steariot," Mr. Mason said. "Naturally, they -don't believe it any more than anybody else." - -"No reason why they should," Mr. Steariot said amiably. "No reason in -the world, if I may coin a phrase. Dr. Phelps at the Institute didn't -believe it either." - -Mr. Mason said, "Mr. Steariot here had a long interview with Dr. Phelps -of the Geophysical Institute at Princeton when he first arrived here on -Earth with us." - -"Oh," Fred said. He gazed uncomfortably at Mr. Steariot. "We didn't -mean to interrupt you." - -"I was only doing the crossword puzzle," Mr. Steariot said. "Do you -know a two-letter word for sun-god?" - -Alice said, "Is this your first trip here?" - -"You mean here to the hotel," Mr. Steariot said, "or to Earth?" - -"Earth," Fred said, dismally. - -"My second," Mr. Steariot said. "First trip I wound up near Leningrad. -Terrible time. I thought they'd talk English, but they don't, and they -thought I was an American, and two of their officials got into the -saucer with me, and the only way I could save myself was to take off -with them. They're on Venus now." - -"This accounts," Mr. Mason broke in, "for the way those two high -Russian officials suddenly disappeared from sight three years ago. You -remember? Everybody thought they'd been liquidated." - -Fred Daniels looked around the room. A hollow, frightening feeling had -come upon him. There were hundreds of questions he could have asked, -and yet he wanted nothing so much as to be away from there. - -His wife Alice, though, was constrained to learn more about Mr. -Steariot. She said, "Mr. Steariot, may I ask you something?" - -"By all means," Mr. Steariot said, and blinked owlishly at her. - -"Do you," Alice said to him, "carry any money?" - -It was, Fred Daniels realized, a marvelous question. If there were sham -here, this would be the quickest way to-- - -"Why, of course." Mr. Steariot said, and reached for his wallet. -"Let's see--health insurance--saucer driver's license--here, my dear. -A five-djino bill." He extracted a yellow banknote and handed it to -Alice. The banknote, slightly larger than an American dollar bill, was -remarkably similar in other particulars. It had upon it a picture of a -flying saucer, the figure 5, and, spelled out, "FIVE DJINOS". - -"Let me sign it for you," Mr. Steariot said, taking out a pen. "You can -have it for a souvenier." - -"Like the short snorters in the war," Mr. Mason, the hotel manager, -said. "You remember them, Mr. Daniels? Where people got famous -signatures on five and ten and twenty-dollar bills and exchanged them -and what not, and they called them short snorters?" - -"I remember," Fred Daniels said. "Something like that." - -"Five djinos on Venus," Mr. Steariot said, signing his name with a -flourish, "is worth about twenty dollars here on Earth. No official -rate of exchange, of course, but from what I've seen, that's about what -I'd judge. Here you go." He handed the bill over. - -"Well, wait, then," Fred Daniels said. "I ought to sign one of _our_ -bills for _you_." - -"Ah, no need for that," Mr. Steariot said. "No doubt you need twenty -dollars worse than I need five djinos." - -"Don't be ridiculous," Fred said, a little stiffly; and, by now -committed, he went into his wallet and came out with a twenty dollar -bill. He signed his name to it, using Mr. Steariot's fountain pen. - -"Wonderful," Mr. Steariot said. "How nice to have met you both." - - * * * * * - -"I feel very badly about this," Mr. Mason, the hotel manager, said to -Fred and Alice. The three of them were on the porch outside. "This -short snorter business always seems to happen whenever I introduce Mr. -Steariot to anyone. Dr. Phelps at the Institute gave him fifty dollars. -Can you imagine that?" - -"It's interesting in its way," Fred said. "It just occurred to me: Mr. -Steariot can spend Earth money here, but we can't spend Venus money." - -"That's true," Mr. Mason said. "On the other hand, Mr. Steariot has -never once, to my knowledge, been the one to bring up the subject. I -think it's quite painful to him, really. But the same thing inevitably -occurs to everybody he meets. You know, let's see the color of your -money. I guess people are pretty much the same everywhere--that -is, everywhere on _Earth_. They judge everything in terms of money, -including whether you've even been born on Earth! 'Let's see your -money,' they say to Mr. Steariot, and out he comes with one of those -damn five-djino bills, and we're off." - -"You know," Alice Daniels said thoughtfully, "in a way it's a lesson. -Isn't it, Fred? I mean, everybody is money conscious. Maybe too much -so. I'm not sorry it cost us twenty dollars to meet Mr. Steariot." - -"You may be right," Fred said to her. "You may be right. Who knows, -some day this five-djino bill may be a very valuable--" - -"There you go again," Alice cut in. "Always putting it in terms of -money." - -"But _you're_ the one," Fred said, "who thought to ask him about it in -the first place." - -"Don't quarrel," Mr. Mason, the hotel manager, said to them. "After -all, for you it's just a vacation. For me, I've got this man sitting in -my lounge day in and day out doing crossword puzzles and trading short -snorters with my guests. Nobody really believes he's from Venus--nobody -important, anyway. It's a little frightening, when you're trying to run -a happy hotel. Sometimes I wish he'd go back to wherever he came from." - -"Well," Fred said, "he's bound to leave one of these days." - -"Maybe," Mr. Mason said doubtfully. "Offhand, though, I'd say the way -he's taking it in, he can't afford to." - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Short Snorter, by Charles Einstein - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SHORT SNORTER *** - -***** This file should be named 60521.txt or 60521.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/5/2/60521/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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